New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-10-24

me- AoE several years to position OF a
chronic buffer between two opposing forces II is
position that no sane person would Of his own
free VIII elect 10 IN inasnuch as IL brings neither
pleasure nor emOurnsnt But the necessity Of
keeping The peace and. generally speaking the
force OF circumstances. year after year saddled
my shoulders with A responsibility which found
as hard 70 dtslOdEe a Sindbad found the Ola Man
OF me sea. and sometimes seem To foresee thar
was destined to the end Of the chapter 20 play
tHs part OF buffer between those two most excel
lent but Numerically opposite perSonalities the
NihJor and Tommy Lowndes Perhaps ought 10
nave blessed my stars that the difference between
the two parties not OF the ty-na that ir,nlias
manual El'iehce and that n my efforts 20 keep the
PEACE was neither threatened nv the FIRE shovel
WHICH the valiant POtt welded nor called
upon 10 encounter the good thick and convsn-
'ent'y packed hairorush which rendered the rival
edi'ors carpetbas so formidable weapon OF Of
renee SUI. even war OF words ps-sistentIv car
ried on as IT were. in the TERRITORY Of friendly
neutral power. Is. as I found 70 nv COST am N
wax wearisoue. and even exaspe-atine. TO hs-no--
combatant.
cne o. the rudest young men I've ever not is
your particular friend Lowndes George the rnz Tor
"ould say. / never can make out what YOU see ~
ike in him. What he really wants * a Thorough
good kicking
Well. why don't you tell him SO. major-
Because my dear boy. n man in my position
must nave some regard ,or the corve1ances OF
life
IN tell YOU what it is Cieo-=s--aIvavz q p
vor1te prelude 70 Tommv's words Of visdorn-"that
od MAJOR OF yours don't improve with age He
grows more pompous and dictatcrial every day
People down here. and you IN particular give hin,
his head too much. II would do hin, = LOT 81 zoo1
II some one burned his stavs-you bet he wear.
them-or put match one end OF hts r1r1starhs
What the devil does he mean by waxing the ends
TIL they look like porcupine quilsT'
Burn them yourself Tommy IL YOU want 10. it-s
no business Of mine
Not so sure about that. You seem 70 max. a
sort Of private property business OF him. Any
how. don't run him"
I'll tell YOU what YOU do do tbo,gb occasion
ally; and that IS. hurt his feelings"
Good job. too. II some one could onlv hurt his
COMPOUNDED self-satisfaction IL would he better
stu what right has a superannuated old fogy
Ike that to be so very SUPERIOR
There were, OF course faults on either sidA-vs
none Of Us attain TO absolute perfection: the pity
was that things which with the world az large
passed as venial offences were magnihed into
mountainous sins by the two belligerent parties
In reference to our notable match at the park
where neither had been wholly free from
blame, each assumed an aggressive attitude di-
rectns his assaults upon the real antagonist
my detenceless body.
The day when Lowndes had a convenient sprain
and hired q pro. TO bowl for him"
This the Majors version.
The match in which the Major would not face
the music. and young pudding got cut over en- the
When missed my innings by having help
the poor boy home and ve lost the match IN con-
= don't know what you thought. George; one
and her maid and the sawt-ones. and the coach
man. and half dozen gardeners, and seven people
without the Majors help. But perhaps the Major
wanted to hold mis- hand or TO give the sal yolatiie
The human foot let me inform you. my dear
Lowndes. is very delicate and complicated piece
OF mechanism"
Is that original. Major. quotation from
Locke on the Human UndeTstandIng ilqIi,s LED
II Young Emden's big toe is such delicate and
precious article OF furniture that IL requires a
after It. he had either better lock himself Up IN
glass cut It of and have done with Il II
would look very well wouldn't Il. CT Orge. neatly
corlced up IN q bottle and kept on TIE Majors
the Waior would b< able to say ii was the only
part found OF d Niger he sliced up in the what
such was the sort OF sparring which went on FOR
the space Of Two years whenever the two HsI s+
the feelings OF the giadiators bit very embarrass-
Howeyer Tor the eighteen months during which
Tommy. who had joined our local yeoIn1LTE' ~as
80 great sutbority in our parts on the
Major va 80 w. a9rbi TO have been carried
on and il the absence Of the sonleVhaS over
candid critic laid down the Law pretty freely
''Rob-rts' he would say. was bit too Inea4y
mouthed for scoundreLs OF the Bo@r pa an All bi,
am not quite whether b a. tney c@.I I'LL,
exactly the stamp Of man sn9lId Las S 80
grant YOU bat not downrsnt sDo1 -sL 81 tSs-e is
No. the sort OF general We want ou 49, I : feI
low Ike old Pennefather was Poor Old Pe sii
father as l may have told YOU. eTeorEe. vs.. ~AS a
If don't think that th- nghtlns ns 5 iz5rsTE
Heard ANYTHING by the way. George about your
friend LOwnd-s? did o1er 70 CIV FliN s,a-fs5
h'S - 81, ao 1is IKE ali y6uns fellows he was much
too selr-satisfed and too cOcksure aoO'' eve INNS
10 AXE the trouble TO come round ,,.o-
IN Was indeed true that the worthy MaJ g
had talked to on me the o. subject 70 of romans
cenpaisning aad had thrown out strong nints 20
the effect that If the young yeot1ia r he might
ing cared 10 call the retred so-IlSI' -, bi-3ns
sISfhs~ s0r,e wrinkles the art OF SOHlollII.!s
active service with the least possdo o- - roman
= 7 Ensur that IL was meant TO Dc repeated. ny
without some faint hope tha 1sn ns But Tommy
olive branch thus indireclis e I.S the 1-ooosrion
obstinate the core. had receiver ''40 '-0P
with huge disdatn . 49,. ~ .-f.LAt 7
should imagine he observed: stanoIilS
rssorga5 lessons in the art OF being conveniently
absent when the balls are nysns -,a4 r-rsonsIiV
sdoDted Thank you. George. ! have s4L pp l1
do before start wsh0T T o1s that ne had BET
as As ga uttie practising instead OF preaching lie
y Hhss+ stomach the old Is setttng.Lto chase
Brother Boer but he might 60 sn6 qaF9 1nake
si, 7nsss president and chief Of the stan and SO
forth and he'll go Ike snot. .h,,,, t,ks than,
Not the psissTaa verba or sRyJnihg M s1lT,
Of course ever reached the MAJOR ears n oush
my medium but al 9nGe , s1I sSIrv bv irventfng
a polite message from Tommy 20 s sne +Ir1e bsfore
sailing so limited as 70 ll@S - Fss5s-s-.s
him to avail himself OF the MaJoi $500 80
Dosition rather gracefully, and during tommy
absence which lasted for some eighteen uloilSi-S
g. nnIv sbstained from making any dspsra81ns
-snarkS hut even inquired from time 70 time
whether had received any udtnss OF our young
pm aoh. what tangled web. etc. II I had
noted with satisfaction that our Ma1q 9-Saas,
shrough more rose coiOred sPectaciss' I was