davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23
REGULATOR LINE
PORTLAND AND THE DALLES ROUTE
All Way Landings.
STEAMERS
GALLEY GATZERT" "DALLES CITY"
"REGTLATOR" "METLAK0"
Connectingat Lyle, Wash, with
Columbia River & Northern Railway Co.


wahkeaens DAILY, Centerville, Goldendale and
all Klickitat Valley points.
Steamer leaves Portland daily except sun
day. a. m. connecting with G. X. d N. trains
at Lyle 5;15 p. m. for Goldendale, arrives The
Dalles 6:90 p. m.
steamer leaves The Dalles daily except Jun
day. 1880 a. m.
CIR. & n. trains leaving Goldendale 6:15 a.
m, connects with this steamer for Portland, ar
irving Portland p. m.
Steamer Metlako plying between Cascade
Locks and The Dalles, leaves Cascade Locks
daily except Sunday q. m. arrives The
Dalles IL ;3O m. Leaves The Dalles 3 p. m. ar
rives Cascade Locks p. IN.
The steamer Bailey Gatzert leaves Portland
daily Except Monday $3.50 a m, Sundays 8 a,
m, for Cascade Locks and RETURN affording an
excellent opportunity to view the magnificent
scenery of the Colum bia river.
Excellent meals served on all steamers, Fine
accommodations for teams and wagons.
For detailed information of rates, berth res
ervations, connections, etc, write or call on
nearest agent h. c. Campbell,
Gen. office. Portland, Or. Manager.
Beele d Morse Agents, Hood River, Or.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23
somethinR Wrong.

Meeker-There's Grape on the door
over the way. Old man Jones must be
dead.
Mrs. Meeker-I haven't seen the doe
tor there for over week.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23

Miss Charmer-How did Fred pro-
pose?
Miss Milyun--He said he didn't
know what he would do unless be got
some money right aw&y.-Baltimors
American,
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23

the sights and indifference of young
girl.
Il wonder how it is that | still care for
her? She seems to have lost all that
made me love her when first knew her
What a'fool am! | will not think any
more Of her"
And he left the room and the house,
and went off to an entertainment where
a considerably greater degree OF freedom
reigned than at the mansion of stately
Miss Douglas. and where he was sure Of
an enthusiastic welcome.
With the charming inconsistency OF the
sex, Winifred was terribly chagrined on
discovering that he was really gone.
"He is disgusted with me-he will not
bear my unworthy treatment Of him long
er." she thought, bitterly. II love him
with all my heart, and have lost him"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23

"You don't mean to say, doctor. that
you can tell peoples ages by their
teeth, the same as II they were horses.
do youT
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23
A Paying investment.

WAS 1t worth while to send your
four daughters to that fashionable
SchoOlT
Sure. One eloped while she was
there and the others came home en-
gagged. New York Times.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23

Haggard Looking Room Hunter
Little girl, does your mamma keep
boardersl
Honest Little Glrl-No, sir; she takes
boarders, but she don't keep EN-
New York Herald.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23
PassIng Amsnitsss

Growler-Hl al! Carn't yer look
out wher yer a-cOmin'?
omnfbus--Garn! Shut up, Jack-in-
the Punch.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23
that to do with it,"


MileS-Shortun married an heiregs
last week and he declares she Ia all
the world to him.
Giles-So he's getting ready to col
iect the debt. ehl
Miles-What debt?
Glles-Why. the enc his wife owes
him. heard him say one time that
the world owed him living.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23
A Human CIed.

Tess-Some men are awfully slow
aren't they?
Jess-Yes, and they're 30 aggrava.
ting. There was one sat alongside OF
me coming down in the car this morn.
ing.
Tess-You wern't trying to nirt with
him?
Jess-Gracious no; but he was read
ing q novel, and he was never ready to
turn the page when was.-Philadel
phia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23
Told the Truth.

Edyth-Aunt Margaret used to say
she wouldn't marry the best man on
earth.
Mayme-And did she keep her wordI
Edyth-Yes; but she got married Just
the same.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23
.1've refused George twice." abe said

I've refused George twice." abe said
''but It's no USE"
mo user
mot a bit. He believes in predes'
tination."
what has that to do with IT."
why, he thinks I'm predesdned to
be his wife, and Of course, IL that Ia
%, I'll simply have to give in, no
matter what papa says He can't eI'
pect me to defy fate"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23
Correetina Dfi,aprrehsvoI.n

"And this" exclaimed the Traveller
from the old world. emerging from his
state room and eaxing dreamily At the
shore Ane ahead Of him. els free Amer
iaa
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23
Nicaragua Canal

The creation Of the Nicaragua Cana
win cut on 10000 miles from the voy
age from New York TO San Francisco
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23
Certainly. madam"

Which explains why this particular
patient never went again to that par
ticular dentist.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23

Men seldom leave behind both in
quest and bequest
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23

You can't tell by mans hand shake
how much be thinks Of you.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23

mo" said the bored looking pAssen-
ger in the steamer chair. ''That 10
New York City"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23

why, Tommy, how you do grow"
YES Auntie. l think they water me
too much. Why, I'm bathed night and
morning"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23
No Trouble IN House-HuntiuE.

Hicks-I understand that you and
jenkins have both found desirable new
tenementS.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-07-23

Wicks-Yes, Jenkins moved into my
nat and l moved into his.-Someryille
Journal.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20
STONES THAT ARE ALIVE.
One Species That Shows Positive Eyii- dence of Being Possessed
 of Animation.

It is generally known that stones possess a species of life in at least that they grow from small begin nings frequently to enormous size. There is one stone in particular, however, that seems endowed with a greater degree of life than others. It is called 'sthe living stone'' and is found in the Falkland islands. Those islands are among the most cheerless spots in the world, being constantly subjected to strong polar wind, says Nature.
 In such a. climate it is impossible for trees to grow erect, as they do in other countries, but nature has made amends by furnishing a supply of wood in the most curious shape im- aginable. The visitor to the Falk- lands sees scattered here and there singular shaped blocks of what ap- pears to be weatherbeaten and moss covered powders in various sizes.
 Attempt to turn one of these "bowI- ders" over and you will meet with a surprise, because the stone is actually anchored by roots of great strength; in fact, you will find that you are fooling with one of the na- tive trees.
 $ No other country in the world has such peculiar forest" growth, and it is said to be next to impossible to work. the odd-shaped blocks into fuel, because the wood is perfectly devoid of "grain" and appears to be a twisted mass, of woody fibers.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20
May 13-16-St Joseph's T. A. society festival. May 1-Lafayette base ball club con cert and promenade.
 May 4-Young Ladies' sodality of St
MRS LEMOYNE.

A delightful satire of Americas Four Hundred is furnished In Glen Mac Donough's social satire Among Those Present." in which Mrs LeMoyne ap- pears at Polls this evening. The dis tinguished actress is given an oppor- tunity to portray the fast pace of life at New York, Newport and fashionable Long Island, and is inter esting even-to those who know of this life only from the outside. The piece has been described as play full Of bright comedy and abounding in keen satire of the New York Four Hundred. The scene of the amateur circus in the second act is said to be the laughing hit of the piece. There are four mas sive scene sets, and the costumes are most elaborate, having been designed and executed by Worth of Paris and Dunstan of New York. Mrs LeMoyne in her leading role of Mrs Clinton is supported by strong company, in- cIuding Harold Russell, George Doug las Parker, Nellette Reed, Mary Parkyn, George Gaston. Cecil Magnus, Marion Ashworth, Anita Zorn, Harry Dornton, Harry Herfurth Harold Grau, Fred Truesdale. Prices are p, 50 75 cents, $1 and $1.50. There is no free list.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20
MAGGIE CLINE.

There is considerable interest at tached to the appearance of Maggie Cline at the head of this weeks bill at the Jacques, and the attendance at the opening performance this afternoon is large The name of Maggie Cline has been before the American public for many years as the foremast exponent of a. certain robust form of Irish song, but she has not hitherto favored Wa terbury with her presence, probably for the reason that she has confined her efforts practically entirely to vaude- vile, and since this form of entertain ment was inaugurated here Manager Poli has not been able to secure her until now. Tn the past few years, since she accumulated a competency from her singing, Maggie Cline has consent ed only to work about ten weeks each season, dividing her time between the leading houses As she has regularly played for Mir Poli, however, she con- sented to put in an extra week and play Waterbury for him. That she will prove popular healthier is more than reasonable certain, and the Jacques will undoubtedly he a popular resort during the week. Manager Poli has not, however, stopped with Maggie Cline. but has surrounded her with a galaxy of vaudeville stars. including Eddie Girard of "Natural Cas- fame, and Jessie Gardner, Henley and Lester, Ford and Dot West. Russell and Buck ley, Billy Weston, Lenore and St Clair, and the vitagraph. Prices are 10, 20 and 0 cents; afternoons 10 and 20 cents, ladies 10.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20
aow ANIMALS ACT AT FIRES.
Not All of Them Show Fear, Although h the Majority Do Not Like
 Flames.

Most animals are afraid of fire and wiu fly from it in terror. To others there is a fascination about a flame and they will walk into it even though tortured by the heat, says the Chicago Chronicle. Some firemen were talking the other day about the conduct of anil mals during fire. A horse in burn ing stable, they agreed, was wild with fear, but a dog was as cool in fire as at any other time. A dog, they said, keeps his nose down to the floor, where the air is purest, and sets himself calm ly to finding his way out. Cats in fires howl piteously. They hide their faces from the light and crouch in corners. When their rescuer lifts them they are as rule quite docile and subdued, never biting or scratching. Birds seem to be hypnotized by fire and keep per fectly still; even the loquacious parrot n fire has nothing to say. Cows, like dogs, do not show alarm. They are easy to lead forth and often find their way out of them selves. Rodents seem never Q have any difficulty in escaping from fires. The men said that in all their experience they had never come upon the burned skeleton of rat or a mouse.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20
ELECTRIC ANEsTHEsIA.
Temporary Loss of the Motor Senses 1MrouGh the Application of
 the Current.

A French investigator has been ex- perimenting with the electric current to produce anesthesia. After duly fortifying himself with a number of experiments upon animals he extend ed his researches to the human body, experimenting at first upon himself. He finds by applying a current, the exact character of which is not stated, to the body, through moistened elec- trodes, placed one on the forehead and the other over the small of the back, that with a voltage of 50 complete inhibition takes place. The faculty of speech is first lost, followed finally by the inhibition of the func- tions of the other motor senses. It is asserted that it's only disagreeable fea ture is that which accompanies the gradual loss of the faculties, resulting in a sensation of nightmare. The heart is said to be unaffected, but the breathing is somewhat obstructed. The current strength is gradually applied, about five minutes being occupied in reaching the maximum When the current is switched off the subject awakens at once and with a feeling of inyigoration.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20
ODD MESSENGER OF LOVE.
Mandtoba Widow Writes on Egg and Gets a Husband from
 Liverpool.

Among the weekly consignments oi eggs lately received by Liverpool, England, warehouseman was an egg bearing this message: Packed by Mrs. Meade, lonely widow, age 30, on Meade's farm, Belleview, Mani toba." The warehouseman was widower, his age was 42 and he was decidedly lonely, being without lSith or kin. He decided to try his luck with the lonely widow. He wrote to her, told her the story of the mes sage having reached him, sent her his photograph, described his own lone liness in big city and hinted that they might neither of them continue pining for companionship, reports a London paper, if they once met, and giving references to several respon- sible persons who knew his charac- ter. In less than three weeks he re- ceived a cable. It merely said: Come out" He went out. The lone- ly ones met-and they are lonely no longer.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20
MoToRMAN's BITTERNESS.
If Given Fair Notice He will Not
 Carry Passenger BeyoRS the CroaainR

People who complain that the car isn't stopped just right for them at the crossing" said a motorman, ac- cording to the New York Sun, may really have themselves to blame for it. They don't give the conductor notice and so the conductor can't tell the motorman time enough ahead. When he can the conductor gives the motorman ample notice of the street at which he is wanted to stop; he may pull the strap for the next block almost before the car has got, fairly well started from the last, but the motorman likes ample notice.
 The rails may be slippery and it may on some days require more space to bring car up in that it would on others. But the IT. rotor man can stop the car anywhere un- der any conditions with the rear step square across. the crossing if you give him a chance.
 'sAnd of9course he would rather make good stop like that than to make a poor one; this on his own ac- count as well as on the passengers.
 "The days when he runs by seem always to be the worst days for the passengers, days that are damp and ! sloppy; but these days may be also the worst for the motorman,, the hardest days, with slippery rails, on which to run a car with exactness.
 ssSo as a general proposition I should say it would be wise for the passenger who wants to get off at the next block and who doesn't want to be carried beyond the crossing, not to wait too long, but4to tell the con- ductor early, and he will tell the motorman and the motorman will do the rest, or come mighty close to it. 7
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20
COMING EVENTS

April 15-25-St Michael's parish kir- mess, Waterville.
 April 21-"Golden Rods" private re- ception.
 April 21-Nellye Reeds dancing academy reception. April 23-Prof Bailey's subscription assembly.
 April 24-North End base ball team dance and sociable.
 April 24-B. A. c. concert and prom enade.
 April 24-Amerdcan band promen- ade.
 April 25-s1ay 2-A. o. H. and Ladies auxiliary union fair.
 April 2e-A O. H. and Ladies' aux Hilary sacred concert.
 April 29-Ivory Workers union con cert and sociable.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20

Of it, paid little attention until his ap- petite failed, and he was feeling badly; so he thought it best to see doctor. He went first to Augusta, but the doc tors there would not undertake the operation, and he came to Ava
 The Ava doctors advised him to go to Kansas City and consult 8 specialist. They are of the opinion that if he had come to Alva immediately after the accident the coins could have been re- moved without much danger, but owing to the delay they will be very difficult to locate and can only be removed by one of the most delicate opera tions known to the science ofssurgery The doctors say that MT. Gaitley may live for years without serious trouble from this accident, but that it may at any time prove fatal.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20
Fighting Joe's' . Attack on Lee
Copyright, 1903, by G. l.. Kilmer.1

[Copyright, 19os by G. l.. Kilmer.l HwN HE great battle of Chancellors-
 vile between the forces of
 M Fighting Joe'' Hooker and
 ~@~ Robert E. Lee was decided be- forehand by a chance collision of the advance guards of the contending ar mics on May 1, 1863. The heavy fight ing of that bloody field took place on May 2 and 3.
 Thousands had been slaughtered at the foot of Marye's hill, height domi- hating the Rappahannock crossings at the town of Fredericksburg and the roads leading therefrom toward Rich mond Hooker's plan was to avoid the carnage which would follow a second attack on the fortified heights and dis pose of Lee as barrier to the Federal advance upon Richmond by stealthy march around Lees flank. This march would threaten to cut Lee off from Richmond and compel him to abandon the heights of Fredericksburg in order to save his army. The threat did com pei Lee to abandon his intrenched camp along the Fredericksburg heights, but only long enough to meet and turn back Rockers marching battalions at Chancellorsville, to force his enemy in- to battle there and send him back across the Rappahannock crippled and defeated
 The Federal army crossed the Kappa hammock by Afords ten to twenty miles above Fredericksburg, and when Lee S5i 1,n I,+ that the enemy's intention might be to strike out for Gordonsville, far off on his left rear. He prepared to meet the emergency, but didn't let go of his hold on Fredericksburg. Hooker left a force of 10000 men under General Sedgwick on the north bank of the Rappahannock to menace the town. After crossing his main army at the upper fords he turned down the right bank, hugging the river and aiming to strike Lees left flank where it lay in its intrenchments. There was prac- ticable crossing place six miles above Fredericksburg which Lee watched jealously, and its control decided the fate of the campaign. This was Banks ford Hooker sent small force from the north side to capture the fort, but the Confederates were in possession, and nothing was done.
 On the 1st of May Hooker was marching confidently along three roads leading to Lees rear. One of them passed close to Banks ford, and the ground around the ford was open and well adapted for maneuver and battle
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20
AMAZING STATISTICS.
The Tremendous Monetary Force WieIded by United States Ln-
 aurance Companies.

Probably very few people who live and work outside the money markets have ever paused to consider the tre- mendous monetary force wie1ded by the Insurance companies of the United States. The amount of money that these concerns handle is enormous, says Success. One may read that at present the s7 leading life insurance companies of the United States, hold se- curities of all kinds that aggregate more than 1,50o, ,oOo, ,o0O. Imagination fails to grasp such figures. Itis equiva- lent to saying that there are 1,50o banks in the country, each of which has S1,o00,ooo which it must keep in- rested.
 Striking as these figures are, they do not include the holdings of the lesser insurance companies, and they pay no heed to the money controlled by the little multitude of large and small fire insurance compa mics.
 Of course, the bulk of the money held by an insurance company has to be in- vested; that is to say, every dollar not needed for running expenses and for the prompt payment of claims. It is like fairy tale of finance when one reads what use is made of the: millions on millions paid to insurance compan- ies.
 During the year 1901, for example, the total of the incomes of the 67 lead- ing life insurance companies was some thing like sa7e; 100000. Of this money about SITS, ,ooo,ooo was paid to policy holders or to their heirs. More than $77,o0oOo0 was disbursed for operating expenses. Still, more than $12o, 100000 was left.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20
GREAT MANS TEN NOSES.
Were Made of Silver to Supply the Place of the Natural Organ
 Lost in a Duel.

In his lecture before the last meeting of the Chemical Society of Washington upon the Old Chemical Society of Prague, Bohemia, organ ized during the middle ages, under rington Bolton had occasion to call attention to the somewhat well- known fact that Tycho Brahe, who, by the way, was member of this,. the earliest chemical society of Flu rope, wore silver nose. It appears that when young man the great astronomer fought a duel in which he had the misfortune to lose that important member and was obliged to wear a silver one instead, says the Washington Post.
 ''This,' Dr. Bolton stated, The was in the habit of removing at night when he slept. and one night his favorite dog managed to gain pos session of his masters silver nose, which, after he had played with it all night long, was of very little service the day following. Fycho was in great distress the next morning when, after an hour search, he found his precious nose battered and chewed out of all shape and service. In order, therefore, to avoid future accidents Tycho hied him to the sill versmith's and had ten silver noses made in place of the one. One of these,'' said Dr. Bolton, twas pre- served in one of the museums of Ger many until the beginning of the nineteenth century when, by some mishap, it disappeared and thus far has not been recovered"
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-20
TWO SILVER HALVES.
Ok1ahoma Man Swallowed the Coins While Trying to show a Trick
 to His Baby.

Al Gaitley, farmer of near Augusta, was in Alva, o. T., last Friday, consult- ing doctors regarding an operation. Gaitley had given. his. baby two half dollars to play with, which the young ster had become. quite attached to and was unwilling to part with. The father began playing with the child. thinking he could draw its attention from the money until he could get it into his pocket. He succeeded in amusing the child, had got the money, put it into his mouth, and was waiting for an opportunity to transfer it to his pocket without the little one's knowl- edge; he was in the act of throwing his head back to laugh, when he swal- lowed them.
 This occurred some two weeks ago, but MT. Gaitley, itrt thinking seriously