The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-08-16
Copyright, 1903, by Robert Howard d
RuSSeiIl IL

down where 1 hung out as a kid. but
de line haired end of de woild has got
II bad only since de time began to
pipe it off-since I got me job in Miss
Fannie's house. When I foist come
here all women, and most men, would
go tru a summer without baking dere
skins brown while trying to get long on
muscle and short on fat sIfoist fought
it was only a bluff, and dat society
mugs would get cold feet before dey
got muscle bound; but nay,e.nay, dey
sticks to de game like it was ready
| money. You can tell wedder dey is in
| earnest about it when a man like Mr..
Paul will cut off his shot of small bots
in a evening before has me hand we'll
into de game of pulling de plugs.
Shall I fetch anodder bottle. sir?"
says to him, wanting to know wedder
could make sneak, and butt in wit
de odder soiyants what was down on
de beach, taking salt bat by moon
light.
mo more tonight, Chances" he says,
after counting over on his fingers how
| many he has had. mo more tonight.
I finds dat 1 goes off in me tennis if L
! do not deny meself. Take away de
GIupIy UOIllSSI uSJ Ola lllC
| toiSt."
mo sugar in me Coffee" hears Miss
| Fannie say after dinner. Sugar runs
me above me best riding weight, and
| I've promised to ride over to de polo
game tomorrow. Will you ride wit US,
Papa, or driver" she says.
"Pll drive. me dear" Whiskers says,
'but not in a trap. I'll drive at golf,
he says. "Chames, I'll want you to go
\
to recover balls, while practice driv-
ing. It's astonishing" he says to Mr.
Paul, "dat I drives much better when
Chames is wit me, dan when has one
of de caddies."
But even Duchess has de croise.
When de folks is all away from de
house she plays croquet wit Maggie,
de house maid for she says 1T makes
her belt line smaller to bend over and
swat de ball. But croquet is no more
exercise dan reading de baseball news
is playing ball.
Even Kiddie has to be brought up in
de fashion. Every morning de young
ster is fetched to de noissery, in pa
jamas for exercising close, and 1
teaches her to swing clubs. OATS
good looking job-club swinging-and
l was de champeen of de Roseleaf So
cial Outing and Life Saving Club.
Duchess piped me giving Riddle her
morning lesson for few days, and she
says she would take hand in de
game herself. She did. De next time
l give Duchess a lessenein club swing
ing I'll hire de wide, wide woild for de
gymnasium, and, move out de stars and
moons and tings like dat. so dat Ouch
ess will have room to Woik lin. She
broke everything in dat noissery, not
barring her head and mine. :. Duchess
told Kiddie not to tell dat she had been
playing rough house; and to sweeten
de Riddle not to forget Duchess got
some marmalade for her. Tank you,
Hortense'-dat's Duchess-"Tank you,
Hortense," says Riddle, "but L must
not eat sweets. in de morning, because
dey destroys me waist line" and de
little one went on her way, VIII ner
| figure all right-Hke a little key!
And Willy Widdy! Say, honest, you
wonder when she gets de time to take
| de exercise she must take to keep her
| figure as fit as it is. II dere's anything
but polo-in de line of exercise sports
dat Wildly doesn't play never heard
| de name of it. Duchess says dat de
| minute Wildly lands Whiskers she'll
| fat her trusso-how's dat? Trousseau?
| Tanks-her trousseau won't do her a
| bit of good. It'll do Duchess a lot of
| good: for what Wildly can't or don't
| wear, Duchess rakes off like a mice.
| But French COILS can keep der figures
| witout training. and OATS why Women's
| styles comes from Paris, Duchess says.
Wildly plays golf wit Whskers. L
know her game, and know dat she can
give him a stroke hole, and make
| him look like he was playing checkers;
| but p'chee! he always beats her. Even
when she takes a stroke from him on
| de long holes, he beats her.
"Tell me why dat is?" I says to
Duchess. "a man wouldn't play off his
game like dat to be made President OF
| Washington, and go to his office every
| day in all de yachts in de American
| Navy"
president, bah!" says Duchess.
| what is de President alongside
| Cupid?"
'Oh, he isn't so woise," I says.
when a woman like Madam Hard
| ing"-dat's Widdy-"has made up her
| mind dat 1t will be of de social and
woildly advantage for to make mar
riage wit a man like Whiskaire, 1t is
| de kind of a resolve dat woiks magic"
| Duchess says. at is de kind of re-
| solve dat man knows noting Off he
| did he would be of such fright dat
| he would make de laws to keep women
| in Jail wit wells over der eyes"
| Doing time" 1 asks, like de prin-
| cesses in de Rabian Nights dat MISS
Fannie reads de Widdie?"
| de same" Duchess says. 'Widdy is
not jeune file, but she is not yet of a
| certain age, and she has q desirable
| dot, and could marry any of many
young men-but she has of de deter
mination to marry Whiskaire, and, fool
| ish man, he tink dat it depend upon
| him wedder She will or not. Mon
| Dieu! why does he not give up de
| struggle at once, and have time to tink
| of something else?
| "But what has letting him beat ner
at golf got to do wit de layout? 1
| says.
"Truly, mon ami, one would tink dat
| you have not de advantage of clever
| wife-you ask questions so stupid"
"Cut de CANNON" says, and get
| to de evidence"
.eWhiskaire is Of de commonwealth
you say?-is de man average
| ST wish his income was, too, says l.
| mine hundred and ninety-nine such
men out of tousand marry. de woman
| who is de cleverest at fiattering dere
| conceit. If dat woman is also OF a
| stvIishment-voi cest fait!"
Cali over but de nrices trowing, Ell?
And Whiskers doesn't know dat her
| chains are on him?'
Even a stupid woman makes man
| tink dat her chain is his ornament. In
France desc ting is understood; and
| a goil is not allowed to pick out de
| man she will marry; herrparents do dat
| for her"