Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1903-08-28

wish, fellows. but give the STANDARD
and the writer proper credit. This is
all we ask.
A little girl went into a store in
Olympia the other afternoon and said
to the clerk "Give me a pound of
margarine, and mother said you would
please stamp a COW on it, as we have
company for supper tonight"
We don't believe there will be any
marriages in Heaven. The Bible says
there will be no "giving in marriage"
there, and we have noticed where
there are no wedding presents, You can
bet there won't be many weddings.
"Slap!" "Stop that" the maiden cried,
l heard their rockers teeter,
Upon the porch--did she slap the chap
Or did she smash 'sketer?
(How do l know? 1t was dark on the
porch.)
The National Casket Association
has advanced the price of coffins 20
per cent. What a comfort it is to
know that the hoggish combines can
chase US only to the grave. There are
no angel-winged, harp, or golden-crown
trusts.
Is this perpetual motion? The more
you read it and think of it the more
there seems in it:
The duck eats the worm,
The man eats the duck,
The worm eats the man,
The duck eats the worm.
Thousands OF people pay $45 to $50
for sewing machines, and $50 to $40
for steel ranges, because they can be
bought on credit. AS good or better
sewing machines and ranges can be
bought for cash at 500 and $50 and
$40.
When preacher begins to dabble
in politics, its time for him to step
down and out of the pulpit; thus Civ
ing another preacher, who may per-
haps be honest and sincere in the be.
lief of religion, for religion only, a
chance to make a living.
1t goes to show that when Maud
Goune flung black flag to the breeze
on the occasion of King Edwards WIS.,
1t to Dublin, that the tanning influ-
ence of matrimony does not seem to
have succeeded in fastening its hooks
very deeply into Maud's Irish nature.
Policemen, in making arrests are
not supposed to kill men, only when
sure that their own life is in danger.
The policeman in Seattle who killed
man with his handouts, had plenty of
help at hand when making the arrest,
and should have called for aid. Some
policemen imagine they are the whole
law.
ST.. Louis has arranged to have
plenty of pure drinking water on the
fair grounds for the use of western Wis.
itors. 1t would be more polite of st.
Louis to have plenty OF Olympia beer
on the fair ground as We are used to
pure water, and do not wish to fill up
on Chicago sewer and St. Louis river
slop.
Band instrument firms are now
entering the financial harvest. Bands
are being organized over all the Uuited
States, getting ready for 1904. After
the campaign is DER you could not
find one-tenth part of the brass bands
now being formed, and this alone is
where the good of organizing brass
bands comes in.
The question has been asked whether
a man can be a Christian on S. per
week. 1t should be very easy to be
Christian on IS per week, if self-denial
IS an essential part of Christianity.
But in these days, man who would
try to live on $5 per week wonld prob
ably be an angel in a very short time.
No man can live, in any way that
could be called living, on any such a
sum.
"Do you know who 1 am, sir?"
asked the aristocratic looking man
from Victoria, B. G. 81 am Sir Fran.
cis Daffy, knight of the Garter,
knight of the Bath, Knight of the
Golden Eagle. Knight of the Golden
Fleece and knight of the Iron Cross.
Sure" said young Irishman of
Olympia, "and I am Michael O'Flan.
nigan, night before last, night before
that, last night, tonight and every
other blessed night"
For Men Only.
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DIR: w. N. McVicar, bishop coadju-