davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
As Old as His Jokes.

The question of the age Of Senator
Chauncey Depew was under discus
sion when one of the party, who was
appealed to as most likely to know,
answered.: Il cannot state positively,
and can only approximate to it throuh
a story l heard. 1t seems that after
the senator's marriage, they went
to pass few days at Peekskill-on-the-
Hudson, the home of his boyhood
Upon their arrival Mrs. Depew sat
down on the piazza and expressed her
delight at all her surroundings, say
ing. L shall never tire of this beau
tiful spot, with it's grand old noun
tains and majestic river. l suppose,
senator, when you were a boy it was
much wilder and more primitive. Was
the railroad then completedY
'Railroad?' exclaimed the senator
why, bless you my dear, when 1 was
d boy there was neither railroad nor
river here New York Times.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
UncOvering the Past.

Gall right" says the rich father, aft
err the count has stated his terms. "Pll
let Sadie marry you and agree to turn
over to you $1,OOO,OOO. Now, let's get
fixed up properly. Suppose we say
$1,000 down and the balance at So a
week?'
Here Sadie bursts into tears and
leaves the room.
"Now, ma" says the rich father to
his wife, what on earth's the matter
with that girl?"
''Well, 1 don't blame her at all, pa.
It seems as if you never could keep
from betraying the fact that we are of
plebeian origin"
"What have 1 done now" asks pa.
"Why, you talk as if you were buy
ing the count from an installment
ouse."-Judge.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
! Gents

Eight cents a pound is
what young woman paid for
twelve pounds of flesh.
She was thin and weak and
paid one dollar for a bottle of
SCOTS Emulsion, and by TAX
ing regular doses had gained
twelve pounds in weight before
the bottle was finished.
Eight cents a pound is
cheap for such valuable ma
terial. Some pay more, some
less, some get nothing for
their money. You get your
moneys worth when you buy
SCOTS Emulsion.
We will send you a little
free.
SCOTT & BOVINE, CHEMISTS,
-4o9 Pearl Street, New York
soc. and $500; all druggists.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

A New York man says that one Of the
most pathetic remarks he ever heard
was made by youngster who belong
ed on New York's east side. The little
fellow was taken to Coney Island on
an outing conducted by charitable
organization. He went down on the
beach and stood for several minutes
watching the waves rolling in. AS far
as he could see there was nothing but
water, and the expanse Of waves and
whitecaps fascinated him. Heaving a
deep sigh, the little fellow remarked,
''Well, this is the first time ever saw
enough of anything"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

Its toss up which is preferable
too much meekness or too much
meanness.
You can not always do as you
would like to do, but do as near like
as you can.
Though the wagon tongue is
silent it always gets there ahead of
the rest of the outfit.
An egotist is a man who is
unable to disguise the fact that he
is pleased with himself.
1t sometimes happens that a
married man has a good deal to say,
but his wife won't let him say it.
Nothing pleases married man
more than steering his wife up
against an echo that is bound to
have the last word.
People with small purses
generally have big, healthy hearts.
Those with big purses have shrivelled
little doughnuts.
When one man hangs around
another too closely he is generally
trying to make grindstone of his
friends nose for his own ape.
j. r. Place accompanied Mr..
and Mrs. John Zenz and son Ben,
and Jacob Ertz to Clark county
Thursday morning on an inspection
tour.
"A man should always consult
his wife. She may not have sense
enough to know what he is talking
about, but it will 1atter her vanity
all the same.
The difference between a poor
man and a rich man is, that the
poor man has both the appetite and
the stomach, while the rich mans
appetite is gone when he thinks OF
his stomach.
Engineer Owen Flynn of the
Lancaster Madison freight run,
had full-grown passenger engine
a couple of trips this week while
his own horse was in the repair
shop. The locomotive was a new
one, just built, and much larger
than the ones usually seen out
here. 1t taxed the capacity of turn
table.
The swan song of the straw hat
was commingling with the lay of
the ice man for several days past.
The man who rejoiced in the priv
liege of inquiring, rs it hot enough
for you?" has been superseded by
the fellow who blandly asks, Have
you got your overcoat out of soak?"
Seriously, it seems a time when
the soda water girls should mingle
tears with the agents for electric
fans, and when the plumber should
begin to take heart and prepare
for better days.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
> Auction Bulletin.

The undersigned, residing three
miles from Beetown in town of Bur
ton, will sell at public auction on
Wednesday, Oct. 18th, 9 head of
horses, 20 head of cattle, "a head of
hogs, farm machinery, grain, 1000
it, lumber, 100 chickens and other
articles of minor mention. Usual
terms. For further particulars see
large bills. CHAS. CHAPPELL.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
Birds Flee Disease.

Professor Mascart has reported to the
Paris Academy Of Sciences that his
observations proved the truth of the
statement made by ancient writers
that birds fee from cities and coun-
tries that are threatened with pesti-
lence. He has found that birds that
live in large cities, particularly spar
rows and swallows, fly away when Sc
rious epidemics begin.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
The Id1er.

An idle man never encourages good
citizenship or progress or peace or de-
cency. Idle men hanging around a
town are always a pest. Mischief is
always easy to stir up, and every USE
full, progressive man finds his efforts
handicapped by loafers. - Atchison
GlohQ
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
LOCa! JOttingS.

Remember the rummage sale
Oct. 8 and 10.
Blue River has a new hotel
with Fred Taylor as boniface.
Fred Garner is back II his old
place, assistant clerk at the Wright
house.
What pity it that the mother
in-law can not be guaranteed to
wear well.
The Cemetery association is in
need of funds. Help them out by
rummaging.
-Platteville paid it's three papers
a total sum of 1926 for printing
the past year.
-Boscobel bowling alleys are
required to pay monthly license
of 81 in advance.
1t is policy to be SO agreeable
yourself that others can not fail to
be agreeable to you.
-Platteville pays it's mayor an
annual salary of $75 and its eight
aldermen $50 annually each.
Cuba City saloons will pay a
license Of $3.50 annually after July
list next as result of a special cleo
ton.
The barber shops at Platteville
were closed last Sunday for the
first time in many years on that
day.
A stock company will be
formed at Dodgeville to further the
interests of the fair there and give
it new life.
"A woman shows her love for
man when she gives him all she
possesses sometimes the man never
shows up again.
-Fennimore rural mail carriers
have fixed upon rate of ten cents
for carrying small packages, large
ones in proportion.
The city of Platteville owns
the opera house there and received
an income of $1,O28.71 for it's use
for year ending Aug. 31st.
Tho millinery openings this
week constituted an interesting
epoch Il the lives of the gentler
sex, and were well attended.
The dog catcher at Platteville
very seldom if ever ''gets busy"
But $16 was paid in as dog license
during year ending Aug. 31st
Geo. Rudersdorf of this city
will open a second bowling alley
of standard manufacture at Bos-
cobel within the near future.
One of our bachelor friends
wishes to know what millinery
opening is. Well, it's that unseemly
cash that extends from the top
of wife's head to the bottom of
a fellows pocketbook.
F. w. Stevens, cashier of the
new bank, arrived here with his
family and household goods this
week. He will reside in one of
Miss Watts houses-the one Jay
Nathan recently vacated.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
Spent More Than $1,000.

WV. Baker of Plainview, Neb.,
writes. "My wife suffered from lung
trouble for fifteen years. She tried a
number of doctors and spent over
$1,000 without relief. She became
very low and lost all hope. A friend
recommended Foley'st Honey and Tar
and thanks to this great remedy it
saved her life. She enjoys better
health than she has known in ten years.
Refuse substitutes, Jos. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

'Don't you think the amusements Of
many society people are very nonsen-
sicalY'
Sometimes" answered Miss Cay
enne, ''but not as ponsensical as the
amusements of those people who amuse
themselves by imagining how society
people amuse themselves -Washing-
ton Star.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
A Dozen Times a Night.

Mr.. Owen Dunn of Benton Ferry Wv.
Va, writes; 81 have had kidney and
bladder trouble Tor years, and it became
so bad that | was obliged to get up at
least dozen times night. | never
received any permanent benefit from
medicine until | tried Foley's Kidney
Cure. After using two bottles, am
cured" Jos. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
A Fiery Manager.

81 didn't see Ranter play Hamlet,
but understand that he threw a great
deal of fire into the part"
Il don't know about that, but the
manager did. Ranter is back in vaude-
Vile. Toledo News-Bee.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

Squibbs = Cr9sus, the miser, was
drowned last evening.
Hibbs-How did it happen?
Squibbs-He fell from a steamboat.
1 reached down and asked him to give
me his hand. He said he had nothing
to give and sank.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

When you dance don't avoid the fid-
dler next day, hoping he will forget to
present his bill. The fiddler never for
gets.-Atchison Globe.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

The street railway companies of the
United States, 9S7 in number, make re-
turns showing an investment of 81
3OS00O,OOO.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
A Magnate.
ISIS he very rich 2"

rs ne very rlcn
Erich? Why, he's so rich he daren't
look twice at girl for fear she'll bring
breach of promise suit."-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
"Watch The Kidneys"

when they are affected life IS in
danger" says Dr. Abernethy. the great
English physician. Foley's Kidney
cure makes sound kidneys. j. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

Don't whine about what other
people do, but take care that you do
not do worse.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

People who roll in money
seldom enjoy the churning process.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

WANTED: A billiard table. Must
be in good condition. Call on or
write GEO. Cook, Secy. Badger club,
Lancaster, Wis. 53tf
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

AUCTION SALE-Fine residence
property consisting of two full lots
and new honse in the city of Lancas-
ter, known as the Anton Wilhelm
property, being lots 6 and 7 in block
IA, two blocks from the Wright House.
Will be sold at public auction at the
front door of said residence on Satur-
day, Oct. Sd, 1903, at 2 o'clock in the
afternoon, to the best and highest bid
der. Terms-one-half cash, balance
on time.-MARY WILHELM. 51-3i
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
Not Open SUNDAYS.

Hereafter we will not have our
store opened at all on Sundays.
ct L. Alt q Sons.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

FOR SALE OR RENT: Residence
property in third ward on Beetown
road. Apply to VIM. GALLOWAY,
a 35tf "&i Lancaster, Wis.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

FOR SALE: Threshing outfit COM
plete, including engine, separator, etc.
Write or inquire of J. H. BENNETT,
Lancaster, Wis. 32tf.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

ASK for a Little Monarch cigar the
next time you wish a fine five cent
smoke.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03
Business Locals.

LITTLE Monarch cigars are the best
on the market. Try one.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

FOR SALE: Wood heating stove
in good order. Mrs. S. Mitchell.
A BLACK SOW with two Sits in left
ear and four pigs strayed onto my
premises five miles southwest of Lam
caster in town of Ellenboro recently.
Owner can have same by calling
at my place, proving property and
paving DAMAGES. G. THEIR 3W
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

If YOU WANT some good business
or living rooms call on Ed H. HYDE. If
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

FOR SALE: Two good draft horses.
Call on or address, S. w. KERR,
35tf Hurricane, Wis
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

GIRL WANTED:-At the Philips
house. Call or write 45-1y
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-03

DID YOU KNOW that the Philips
house was for sale?
The San Francisco call., 1903-01-02
.FEz THREATENED
BY PRETENDER
Courier Brings Tidings
Of His Approach. on
the Capital.

LONDON, Jan. "A dispatch to the
Times from Tangier says a courier from
Fee has arrived there bringing a letter
dated December 26, saying that the pre-
tender was then four hours from Fee
All available troops had left the capital
to defend the approaches. to the city
The Christians in Fez. were all reported to
be safe.
MADRID, Jan. News has reached
here that the European inhabitants of
Tetuan, Morocco, have quilted that post,
fearing the rebels will attack the place.
Dispatches received here from Tangier
report that several provision conveys
have entered Fez The Sultans troops
intended marching out from Fez Decem-
Der 27 to attack the rebels. The Sultan
has summoned his brother Mulai- Mo-
hammed, to Fez in order to disprove the
contention of the pretender that Mulai-
Mohammed had fomented the present
rebellion
The San Francisco call., 1903-01-02
MRS. j: L. WILLcUTT: DIES
l.. =. AFTER "A SHORT ILLNESS
Wife of Well-Known Railroad Man
Passes Away at Her Oak.
land Home -

OAKLAND = jan: 1-Death came to Mrs.
Betsy Tower Willcutt. the wife Of ]. LIS
HVfllcu{t Of. the Southern Pacific Com
pafly, just. before the old year merged
into the new last night: The deceased
was IA years Of age and had been in poor
health. for some time, so that when she
caught a heavy cold a week ago there
was nothing TO prevent change into
pneumonia. and this resulted in death.
Mr.. and Mrs. ]. L. Willcutt came to
California from their .AIassachusetts home
in 1855. This was the first visit made by
Mrs. Willcutt. to-. the Golden State, but
Mr. Willcutt had preceded her. There was
d little romance in this. The two had
been engaged. and Mr.. WiIlcutt decided to
try his fortune In the new State in 1852
He Succeeded so well that he returned to
1Cchasset, their native place.. where they
were married and then returned to Cali
fOrnia.
Mr. and Mrs. Willcutt lived in San
Francisco for. many years, but took UP
their residence in Oakland in 1875 The
funeral wilt be held on Saturday and the
interment will be at Mountains View Gem
etery. J. Il Wfllcutt, who survives. is
The secretary of the Southern Pacific
Company There are three children. Mrs
Josephine w. Parker and George B. and
Harry v Willcutt.
The San Francisco call., 1903-01-02
DEATH PUTS AN END
TO DAYS OF SUFFERING
Mrs. Mary E: Dockery, Wife of the
Governor of Missouri; Succumbs
...4- : m Heart Disea sc - e.

r.. JEFFERSON CITY, Mo-: Jans f.-NIrs-
Mary Elizabeth oDockery, wife Of Cover
nor Dockery, who: for several weeks. had
been suffering from an affection: of the
heart: died at AS IN. to-day. She
passed away. quietly: after days of.suffer-
ing:
. Mrs. Docl1ery was born in 1850: She
was a native Missourtan and a hneal de
-scendant: of Commodore. Perry. Eight
children of Governor :Dockery and Mrs
Dockery died in infancy and none sur
vive: Mrs. Dockery was Miss Mary Bird.
before: her marriage. The funeral services
Will be conducted at the. mansion at s
O'Clock tonight. The remains will then
be taken on d special train to Chilhcothe,
Mo. Mrs. Dockery's birthplacei for in
terment. a. o.: o.: 80
The mansion and executive offices are
draped in mourning New Years festivi-
ties Of. an unusual character. arranged for
some weeks previous to Mrs. CDockerX:s
fitness, were postponed when it became
evident she could not get WELL e.
The San Francisco call., 1903-01-02
FLORAL BEAUTY
BEDECks CITY
Thousands View the Gay
Tournament Of
Roses.
Pasadena's Annual Fete Sur
passes That Of Any
- Former Year.

PASADENA, Jan. 1.-Dense crowds of
visitors and residents of Pasadena wit
messed the Tournament OF Roses process
sion to-day, which surpassed in every
point of attractiveness any preceding
tournament parade.
In the early morning hours the visitors
began pouring into the city The cars
of the steam and electric lines arrived
from Los Angeles packed to suffocation.
The Salt Lake, Santa Fe and Southern
Pacific furnished special facilities for
handling its traffic, as did also the Pa
cific Electric Railway over it's two lines.
In spite of the special service the capac-
ity of the railroads was overtaxed. On
the electric lines passengers clung to
steps and every projecting object out
side the cars that afforded d foothoId,
while small boys arrived in triumph
mounted on the roofs of. cars. 1t is es-
umated that fully 10000 people witnessed
the floral parade.
The procession started at lis o'clock,
forty-five minutes behind the scheduled
time, and thirty minutes was consumed
by the flower bedecked horses and car
riages. automobiles, bicycles and carts to
pass a given point. The floats, with their
handsome and artistic decorations of
Southern California's wide variety of
floral productions, made an impressive
appearance as. they glided through the
city The Navajo and Moqui Indians,
with their squaws and papoosesy repre-
sented aboriginal America in the flower
festival and attracted much attention.
Band concerts, polo game and an ex-
hibition drill will conclude the carnival.
The San Francisco call., 1903-01-02
SECURES COAL. #. !"
WITH: A PISTOL
p ----.------:-:::. -. :
Detroit Woman s.. Way
Of Getting a Supply.
of Fuel. ::
Loads Her Wagon on Terms
Which Are. Dictated; 5.
:. by Herself:.:.' ;. !. -.

:. DETROIT Mich. Jan. j: Here. is>s7 so:
Write. me out an order on your yard for. d
ton 6f-eoal:' Sam. J. I3oden: clerk for: the
coal firm Of Stanley: .B.5 Smith & Co.
looked up from his books to gaze into. the
barrel Of. "A big. revolver held in: the hand
Of a woman whose face wore ). a very
determined expression. :.
. you said you would not be- asleep If I
attempted to get coal in your yard Now.
F-want to tell you thatothis gun win not
he aSleep: if yolI don't write OUT that or
der and write IL out mighty quick.
In this manner Mrs. w T. Richardson.
who keeps "a. boarding house, secured a
full ton OF hard coal for 81 90 She had a
wagon outside. and as soon. as. she re-
ceived the order drove into. the yard, se-
cured the coal and drove home in tri-
umph -. ---
The San Francisco call., 1903-01-02
ADVERTISEMENTS.
NOBODY IS EXEMPT.
A New Preparation Which Everyone
VIII Need Sooner or Later.

Almost eferybody's digestion is disor-
.. I'D more or less. and the commofest
hing they do is--to take some Of the
many So called blood purifiers, which in
uaHy cases are merely strong eathartics
suth tunEs-are: not needed. If the organs
src-tn a -clogged condition they need only
little help and they will right them
-5lresf Cathartlcs -irritate the sensitive
.rfngs Of the stomach and bowels, and
1en do more harm than: good.
Pjreing is not what is needed. The
taIngoto do is to-put the fsod m condition
.a i1e readily. digested and 'assimilated.;
S.uagts Dyspepsia Tablets. do this per
teCt5y.. They partly digest what is eaten
rd. give the STOMACH. just The help it.
% eds. They stimulate tile secretion and
arcr5ton or the digestive fluids and re-
.s,-6. the .dolrgested .condition of the
glands ana 1TaembTanes. They put the
a6le digestive system in condition 10 do
work. when fhat is done you need
3 Ile ao more tablets unless YOU eat what
fgfsuot agree with. you Then take one
two. tableis-give' them needed 'hglp
elf0 s-ou viii have no trouble.
Itsa common sense medicine and a
mmQu sense treatment and it will cure
.rtIg..time. Not only cure the disease,
..iL rGale the cause Goes about il sn- =
l.lfei-tll sensible and scientific way. -.
We have testimonials enough 10 fill a
hook hut We don't publish many Of them
. . ieweier. MRS +. n: Faith. of Byrds
lree mis- says; -
r have taken all the Tablets I got Of
au+ and they have done their work well
my case, foral feel like a different per
som altogether. ] don't doubt if.I had not
GOT them I should have been at rest by
This time.i ~. -. .~.--r -.
H. L. NIuard. Onslow. Iowa, SAYS Mr.
White of' Canton was telling me of: your
yspepsiaaTablets curing him of dyspep-
Sia from which he. suffered for eight
years. AS q am a sufferer myself wish
you5 TO send me Il package by return
Tail. .f. -:
Phil Brooks. Detroit Mich. SAYS: Your
dyspepsia cure has worked wonders in my.
case-- / suffered for years from dyspepsia,
hut am now entirely cured and enjoy life
as ] never have before. i gladly. recon-
uend them 81. .-:--'-.-
It.wiI cost 50 cents TO ind out just how
much Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets will
help you. Try them-that's the, best way
The San Francisco call., 1903-01-02
Jacob K. Cries.

LOS ANGELES, Jan. 1.--Jacob X. Cries
of Nordhoff. one of the most prominenr
citizens of Ventura County died at the
Southern California Hospital tonight. Mr..
Cries was convalescing from a surgical
operation when pneumonia and other COM
plications set in, causing his DEATH Mr.
Cries came to California in 1852 and
amassed a large fortune in various busi-
ness enterprises. He was director in the
Ventura Bank and also of the Los Angeles
Herald Publishing Company at the time
of his death.
The San Francisco call., 1903-01-02
Will Renew the Agreement.

ST. JOHNS. Newfoundland, Jan l.
The Anglo-French mocius vivendi govern
ing the prosecution of the lobster fishing
industry on the French shore of New
foundland expired to-day. The colonial
government has agreed to renew this
agreement for the present year in order
TO avoid complications during the con-
sideration of the Bond-Hay treaty in
Washington and London, but it is be-
The San Francisco call., 1903-01-02
Incendiary Fire Destrovs a Toun

ALEXANDRIA, La, Jyn. 1.-About
half of the townoof Ola. La, on the St
Louis, Iron Mountain and Southern Rail-
way. forty miles north of this place was
today destroyed by fire thought to be
of incendiary origin. During the excite
ment that followed Town Marshal Ever
EFT Smith was killed by unknown persons
in saloon where he had gone to order it
closed as license expired at midnight. He
was shot six times in the heart. The loss
by fire amounts to several hundred thou
sand dollars.
The San Francisco call., 1903-01-02
Earl Roberts to Visit America.

BOSTON, Jan. 1-Earl Roberts will be
the guest Of the Ancient and Honorable
Artillery Company of Boston next Sep
tember. This announcement. was made
by Captain Olys, the commander, to=
night. He also says the Prince>of Wales
and his uncle, the Duke OF Connaught.
may come, accompanied by the Earl of
Deubigh, lieutenant coIenef of the Hon
orable Artillery Company of London