The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-14
STORY TELLERS HAVE INNING

At Saratoga, on the day his nlly Rag
Ian won the $4,000 Spinaway stakes.
Frederick Gerhard told an amusing story
or a railway tunnel
"A friend Of mine" he said. "the otner
DAY sat reading ia the DarlOr car OF a
train, when two women entered. After
that he read in comfort no loncer. For
y happened that he was dressed in Eng
ltsh clothes OF a pronounced type and TO
THESE clothes the women. for some req
son Ioo6 eNce-tion. they snickered IN
ny friend s. face; they kept whispering 20
one another with giggles and sideWlSc
glances at him. they kept saying In tones
that ne could hear.
Did you ever see such n zhsrtq'
POT hats-fried egg hats-you call
Don't rho trousers fit fuuny?'
Ny friend is q mild man. but after ten
or tlte6n minutes of this adverse criti-
SiSln ms blood began 10 boil lie asked
a ,,llln now ne could get even with the
women. While he was revolving various
schemes in MS mind the train entered
lols, Diack tunnel, and Immediately a
happy thought came TO him.
Halfway through the tunnel he put
me hack Of his hand 10 his mouth and
tlsseo ~ violently and uoisiiy four or five
lines The women. after that. were sic
lFht' Tie waCchcd them when the train
came out into the light again and il
RieaSea MIN to see how strangely they
looked az one another. He. FOR his part.
looked at them iu an equally strange
way For a long time he looked al them
Then he said.
Which one Of You was it that kissed
me IN the tunnel?
General Nelson a. Miles was talking
about some of the phases of the civil war
''One phase" he said. was the frantic
effort that some citizens made to avoid
the conScripuOnS. Hence many sWindles
ensued. Tor the man with a plan to de-
IeSt the cOnscripuonS could get money
much more easily than can the man to-
daE who has sure Tip on the races
There was one conservation ia yir who
made thousands of dollars before the gu-
thOrities restrained him This chan would
send letters broadcast. wherein he said
me- would ~ communicate for s. sure
means or escaping the conscriptio1- Let
ters, incloSlng - notes. poured IN on him.
emo IN replying 70 each letter he would
send a printed slip reading:
Join the nearest volunteer reCi-
mont
S 2. Langley. the aeronautfcsT pioneer.
VIII never discuss flying machines with
newspaper men. but on other topics he is
not SO reluctant. He talked the other day
about his bOyhOOd.
Among the memories Of my boyhood."
ne sald there IS one odd episode that is
particularly vivid 1t IS a conversation
that 1 overheard one morning between
TWO women. The women were talking
forth
Why, when was a week old said
tne tlTSt woman. I was such q little baby
the lid on over me.
The other woman was amazed and
horrllled. And did you IiYe@ she asked.
They say I did, her friend answered.
'WelI well, we'll exclaimed the sec
ond woman, and she glanced at the other
almost dOubtfuliy."
Not so very long ago there was a big
fire in Portland, Ne, A Iarge number .of
houses were burned and many people left
shelterless
The mayor OF Portland, Ore, saw a
chance 70 make a play He rushed to
the telegraph office as soon as he heard
or the fire and teIegraphed to the MAYOR
Of the Maine city:
Portland Ore, sympathizes with YOU
in your afflictiOn. What can we do for
your
The mayor of Portland. Me. was
touched by this offer OF assistance from
the mayor of the namesake city. He
wired back: Best thanks for your offer