The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-03

Press. = -
How did you enjoy the play last
nishtr "oh, 1t was Just diYine-I
never cried SO much in my IifeP'
Most firms prefer to hire 4
married man." Ned-"And most girls
job"
Ella-"But surely you are not going
70 marry against your parents'
wishes" Flo--"Why not? Did they
marry to please mer"
Wiliie-"Pa, an agriculturist is list
man that works a farm, amt itT'
Pa-"Sometimes, my son, he's a man
who works city boarders.'
she-"Why has Boston the name Of
Delng such q bad cityf'' He-"Be-
cause Of the number of crooks in the
streets, / suppose" Lam
poon.
Farmer-"See here boy! What are
you doing up that apple treeT Kid
Cant yer see nothing? One of yer
apples. fell of de tree an I'm tying 1t
on againp' . ..-.s
Faith, Mrs. O'Hara, how dye till
thin twins apartY' Jaw, it's aisy-I
sticks me finger in Dinnis' mouth, an
If he bites know it's e."-Har-
ward Lampoon.
Margaret, think you cheaper your
self by going so much to the theater
with Mr.. Jones'" mo, mother; on the
contrary, I'm making myself very
dear."-Haryard Lampoon.
Doctor-Do think can cure your
catarrh? Why, I'm sure Of it. Pa
tient-so you are very familiar with
the disease? Doctor--I should say SO!
I've had it myself all my ife.-Judge
"Mrs. Talkyer-Blind can say some Of
the most cutting things" Yes. II she
could only keep her mouth closed for
five minutes you could have her arrest
ed for carrying concealed weapons."-
Life.
Mrs. Uppmann-I must tell you, De-
liza, that I was displeased at your en-
tertaining that policeman in the kitch-
en- last night. Delia-Faith, OF did az
him into the parlor, ma'am, but he
wouldn't go.-Philadelphia Press.
Bellows-Does your daughter play
on the piano? Old Farmer Tin tones
of deep disgust-No, sir. She works
on it, pounds on it, rakes it, scrapes
it, jumps on it, and rolls over on 1t;
but there's no play about it, sir.-Tit-
Bits.
Mr.. Quarles-"Well, 1 see old Gold
man is dead, and leaves upward of
three millions. Wouldn't you like ia
be his widowY Mrs. Quarles Sweet
ly)-"No, dear, nothing could possibly
delight me more than to be yours.
Public Ledger.
Done In oil: Miss DeAuber ian anna
teur artist)-Have you ever been done
in oil, Mr.. Marks7 Mr.. Marks-Well,
, l guess yes. Miss DeAuber-And who
was the artist? Mr.. Marks-Artist
Rothingi 1t was a promoter that did
me.-Chicago News.
/ what Is that car coupled behind
l the Presidential train" asked the tai
( reporter. THAT is the photograph
car" said the train hand. photograph
carr? Eyes; it contains the pictures o.
, ally the big families in the Vest
> Chicago Daily News.
whats up, old man? 1 never saw
you look so haggard." "The S'teentl
Bank is up; that's what's up. And my
deposits gone up with it." "Oh,
wouldn't let q thing like that upse
me-" Pm not upset; merely lost m!
balance" -Philadelph Press.
"Well. there is one thing that can b.
said of Crawfoot Although he wen
fishing himself on the Sabbath h
didn't let his little son fish," II an
glad to hear that. Was the boy a
Sunday SCHOOL," mo, batting tn
hooks. Chicago Daily News.
Master-"What! Both want holi
day tomorrow? Iscan't spare you bot
at once. Mary, you can have to-mor
row, and John the next day" John
"Thank you, sir, but we wanted to &c
married, and I'm afraid, sir, it can
be done that way, but I'll inquire"
Mother-'Tommy, what's the matte
with your little brother| Tommy
E Hes crying because I'm eating m
cake and won't give him any" Moth
a er-"Is his own cake f1nishedT Ton
my-"Yes'm, and he cried while 1 wa
Q eatin' that, too."-Philadelphia LEDGE
!. my plea" said the young lawyer
s who had Just won his first case, "seem
/ ed to strongly affect the jury" YES
q replied the Judge, II was afraid a
one time that you would succeed L
getting your client convicted in spit
a Of his ence."-Chicago Record
. Herald.
g Poor child: II hear Jack Kando
!. vaa here to see the baby" said MI
d Hoamley. eyes," his wife replied.
|, annpose the first thing he said wal
. ne looks Just like his fatherT" INC
the first thing he said was Good hea'
nsp Then he said that."-Phiiade