The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-06

late In life, are realizing the weakness
of their training, and, with or without
guidance, are acquiring for them
selves that culture which is too often
thought to be: the possession only Of
those who inherited it.
These are the men and women for
whom feel an earnest, admiring SYM
pathy, for I know no greater achieve
ment in modern life than this self
culture, undertaken and effected years
after the age at which most people i'm
agine themselves to- be settled down.
Never Too Late to Learn.
Perhaps the. greatness is not so
much in the achievement, for let me
assure you the achievement is not one
tenth as difficult as most people would
believe-but in the determination, late
in life, to acquire this neglected Gull
ture. It is there that very many men
and women who might be successful in
social and worldly relations fail. They
have not the courage to make a be-
ginning. + Z .>'....z s
blind. They fail to see that almost
invariably the material and intellec-
tual successes of this world are won
by those of cultured manner, men and
women with the poise gained by self
training, the calm confidence Of thoro
acquaintance with the usages Of
society. In fact, such poise and con-
fidence and culture may nowadays be
looked upon as absolute requisites in
any form of success. -a@ %
mo, it is not a, new philosophy of
manners which I am preaching" she
replied, smiling, in response to a
query. 1.-THE best thinkers have al
ways maintained the same cardinal
principles, but until now no practical
effort has ever been made to encour-
- -, = ~ \ -,
agreeable. nor means, provided for
teaching the PRINCIPLES Of tact and
courtesy. Nor would I have you
think" she fastened to. add, that
when I speak of society I mean only
the gay, formal life. that is lived only
in smart clothes and evening dress.
At, every turn Of life, at every meet
ing, at every point of business or
friendly relation, on, which business or
professional success may turn, the
usages Of society are as much to be
considered as in the society that spells
itself with a capita" 8 IL.
r.. . Importance of Environment.
While it is quite possible for men
and women far advanced in life to cul-
tivate: in themselves this poise: and
polish, do not fora moment think that
am belittling theinestimable advan-
tages of youthful environment. There
views with true foresight the career of
their boy or girl, who doubts for a
moment that more than one-half the
questions of worldly success in after
life will turn upon this question of !,
social culture, thev art of appearing
we'll, and the, power of pleasing. If T
read Alright the hearts of mothers who
write or tell their hopes and, fears to
me, this recognition of the need of
culture in thejg growing boys and girls
is "a source1eofsn1oretfan anxiety than is +
generally suspected rr-ss,t
Z. There, aagain 3shows eqthe great
weakness tthat stands. in the way of
true social culture. The parents are
all too prone to say to themselves that
their own knowledge of social usage is,
too fragmentary or. too weak for their
example to be of any use to their chill
dren. III .ss-.@s;:3 -.
The truth is that It is just as easy
for parents to train their children in
the finer manners; of society as it. IS
for grown men and women to culti-
Vate this manner In themselves. +
But 1t is the young men and young
women of all circumstances, both: in
country and city, who, by reason of
their eagerness to cultivate a pleasing
and successful personality. supply the
principal Inspiration to my work.
They appreciate the discouraging
handicap of bad manners, lack Of
agreeability and embarrassing self
consciousness. They at once realize
the necessity, these days, for the self
poise and fine. courtesy which springs
from full knowledge, and under proper
suggestion and guidance have the
requisite enterprise to undertake the
requirement of these pleasing and
profitable graces.'' s
Common Sense the Secret:
f. When pressed for an explanation of
the immense vogue and success of her
methods, Mrs. Gordons answer was
slmp licity itself. Common Sense
just plain common sense applied to a,
subject which has hitherto been
stupidity regarded as outside the ac-
c CO.. .la' n Of those not to the
manner porn. An agreeable per-
sonality is no more the gift Of
providence than is clean linen or a
knowledge Of the three RS.
90 not attempt to teach an agree
aole manner by rule. "A man or wo-
h man can on only learn lessons Of good
example. Association with well bred
people is the best teacher a student
can possibly have In my teaching Of
socia! culture, it is as if I took the
aspiring man or woman into the COM
pany OF Well-nannered and socially
saccssslu! people, and with a whis-
|
PIT to the trifing marks Of good breed
lng mat stamp man or woman az
thoroly accustomed to society.
snow the student how the presence Of
| tnese little touches Of well bred cour-
tesy means his social success, whi1a
| thelr absence means his failure. q y.
| y am greatly interested in the ar.
1lcles that am writing for e
a |. I want to make this
department q very real help to every
one or It's readers. I shall not only
point out the benefits Of an agreea bic
anu correct manner, but shall en-
deaVor. TO really teach the PRINCIPLES
ot an attractive and magnetic person-
allty. In fact, my interest is such that
! nave undertaken to personally an
sWer inquiries if the questions relate
! 70 the subtleties of the art Of being
agreeable As i am not writing
mere arrangement Of rules, I do not
OF course undertake to answer routine
queries on the etiquette Of dining. win
ing ana dressing; of cards and letters
! menus and invitations These are
matters which / think may be classad
as the mere mechanics of good man
ners, and may find answer. thru other
/ channels of sinforrnation. The real
purpose Of my articles is to awaken =
i deeper interest in the fine but eastlv
acquired art Of being agreeable. the
power Of politeness, and the Influenza
i q good manners on our daily life,
questions Of this sort Z shall alwavs
pc glad to discuss with nv res d a.
4 ana TO give all the assistance and In
formation that I can. = az