Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-12-14
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book? Exciting? Second Philadel'
phian-Why. l sat up all day reading
it!-Town Topics.
She-Mamma says I mustn't encour-
age you at all. He--That's all right.
don't need any encouragement
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Casual-Was your daughters
wedding a success? Mrs. Candid
Yes. indeed: there wasn't cheap pres
ent in the whole lot.
Mother-Dicky, why do you keep
four peaches and give little sister only
two? Dicky-Well. mother, l can eat
twice as fast as she can.
"De man who stahts in to kill time,
said Uncle Eben, sis in great danger
bein' one O. desc here didn knOw-it.
was-lOaded misunderstanding Star.
Willie-If you've saved up enough
for an automobile, why don't you get
it? Bobbie-Not yet. I'm saving up
enough to pay for the people l run
over.-Life.
Mr. Robinson-How did the children
act about going in the water? Mrs
Robinson-Oh. had to pay them to
60 in; and then had to pay them to
come out.
Uncle John-What are you going to
do when you are man? Irving 1.-THE
clergyman's yOungster)-Well, l shall
be a charcoal man or minister. I've
got to boiler.
Sharpe-Why, yes, was at church
last Sunday. Kloseman-Were you
really? Strange l didn't see you
Sharpe-Oh. not at all. l took up the
lection.-Philadelph Press.
why don't you go to Kansas? It's
easy to get work out there Il know
dat, boss, an l aXed de railroad com
panies fer a pass, but dey wouldn't
give it to est. Louis Star.
"Of course" said the beginner, etc
be successful in politics one must
know how to speak," Better STILL
replied the old hand, she must know
how not to speak. "-phiadelphia
Press.
Aunt Maria-Why, johnny! l an
surprised! Johnny-Whats de matter
Aunt Maria-What are you playing
baseball for OIL the Sabbath? Johnny
Fur ten cents side, an our sides
winnin'.
George-You do not call on Miss
Rosebud now? Jack-NO, | got dis
gusted. She has such coarse laugh
George never noticed that. Jack
You would If you had been within
hearing when proposed to her.
Briggs-Its too bad about Wrinkle
and the girl he is engaged to. Neither
of them is good enough for the other
Griggs-What makes you think that
Briggs-Well,. I've been talking the
matter over with both families.-Life
A young lady visiting for the frs
time in the country was alarmed a
the approach of a COW. She was to-
frightened to run, and, shaking he
parasol at the animal. she said. in
very stern tone: "Lie down, sir! Ii
down"
Willie-Say, pa. didn't you tell m
the other day that it was wrong t
strike anyone smaller than yourself
Pa-Yes. Willie, that's what l said
Willie-Well. l wish you'd write an.
acher a note to that effect. l don
think she knows about it.
Il see your neighbors, the High
mores, have shut their house up. Mrs
Highmore told me the other day the
were going somewhere into the int
rior for the summer" "They've gon
farther back than that They are liy
ing in the kitchen. Chicago Tribune
what will it cost to educate Wi
too brilliant boy of eighteen. II don
believe it could be done at any price,
said Willie's uncOmpromising uncle
but l should say you might be abb
to get him through college for abou
four thousand dollars"
II never waste words on fool.
said the pompOus person. "Tha
doesn't correspond with your wife
statement" replied member of tn
skeptical faction. what did my wifi
say" queried the T. p. THAT 70
were in the habit of talking to YOU
SELF" answered the other.
Mrs. Ferguson-George. what pa
ticular failing of yours did the preat
er touch on in his sermon this mOrI
ing? Mr.. FergusOn-What do you as
me that question for? Mrs. Ferg,
son-Because you have been as eros
as a bear ever since you came hon
from church.-ChicagO Tribune.
"You must not imagine" she salt
that l would be willing to sit out hel
alone with you If you We're not so hi
and strong, and able to pick me up
your arms as If We're child
case anything happened" Then b
cause nothing happened she told he
friends that he was dull-witted an
probably had soul like withere
lemon.-ChicagO RecOrdHerald.
An elderly lady entered a draper
shop and asked to be shown son
tablecloths. The assistant brought
pile and showed them to her, but 81