Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1903-01-29

shall draw some conclusions from the
plain facts OF history There is an old
saying, Flight the devil with fire." and
while do not say that the gentleman
from Ohio resembles Old Nick very much,
though one OF my colleagues once said on
the floor of this house that he looked like
Santa Claus and talked like Satan, pro-
pose to fight him with his arithmetical
plan here today. I have never been held
up to the community as a lightning cal
culator, although / understand the multi
plication table. Out in Ohio and even be-
yond the ample confines of that state my
friend bears the sobriquet of 'Old Fig
gers"
Today I happened to be standing down
in the hall by the postoffice. An old en-
ployee Of the house was talking to a
"tenderfoot." The general swept by in his
majesty tenderly fondfing his prophets
beard, and the old employee said to the
newcomer, There goes the stud bug of
arithmetic
Nothing to Change.
In reading and rereading that in cold
type there is nothing In it that would
change. took General Grosvenor
upon his own proposition, and what
ever my answer lacks in elegance it
makes up for in emphasis, but the
Journal, in it's vain endeayor to make
a point against me, wrenches the cat
and cold water proverb from its set
ting, makes me out a ruffian for using
it and by innuendo declares that the
Democrats of the house were lot of
fools for applauding. The way the
Journal quotes it no man could guess
what l was talking about. Quoted as
part of the paragraph where it belongs,
most people would say it was apropos
and that the reason / assigned why
Missouri will not go Republican is a
good and unanswerable reason, and
that is precisely why the Journal at
tacks me unfairly
Again, it says that / said that Gen
eral Grosvenor looks very much like
Old Nick, when, as matter of fact,
my statement was exactly to the con-
trary.
The Journal says that l said that
my age will double discount that of
Methuselah, the oldest man that. ever
lived, before Missouri goes Republic
an" said no such thing. Au con-
traire, as the French would say, de-
clared that General Grosvenor's age
would double discount Methuselah.''
OF course a little thing like that does
not amount to anything when the great
Kansas City Journal is endeavoring to
put Democrat in the wrong.
The Journal seems to think it was
something awful for me to say, in
speaking of General Grosvenor, HE
is the hardest man to corner that l
ever clapped my eyes on" Yet can
prove the absolute verify of that state
ment by every man in the house.
It must be that the Journal expects
a Democrat to use only rosewater in
fighting a Republican notorious for
using vitriol. If so, the Journal will
be grievously disappointed in its ex-
pectations.
Mr.. Wachter of Maryland broke In
on my speech to refer to the differ
ences betwixt Democratic factions,
whereupon replied, '"They are as near
together as Messrs. McComas and
Mudd" The sapient Journal concludes
that that was "a cute pun on the latter
name," and apparently not knowing
that the McComas and Mudd Repub-
ncan factions in Maryland hate each
other worse than the devil hates holy
water, but the members of the house
knew it; consequently the Journal
should not be too hard on them for
applauding. have studied puns some
what in my time, and l am utterly at
a loss to follow the erudite Journal
when it construes my remark as to
Messrs. McComas and Mudd into a
pun, cute or otherwise. When the
Journal intends to be witty, it should
say so.
Dr. Bartholdt of ST. Louis broke into
my speech, whereupon l logged his
memory about the villainies perpetrat-
ed by Missouri Republicans when in
power. He said that those Republican
acts were committed long ago. 1 re-
Joined: "Do you believe the Bible? A
leopard cannot change its spots or an
Ethiopian his skin''-which the Journal
thinks was a dreadful faux pas, but
the Journal fails to state whether its
objection is based on the fact that
quoted the Bible or because the Bible
quotation knocked out Bartholdt. And
SO on to the end of the chapter.