The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1903-12-18

"ooAut ~ LII vast WSd1lHa SuOUlu
have had no incentive to healthy work.
II should have deteriorated and should
probably now be dead and forgotten.
When Beriah Wilkins, who is now the
proprietor'of the Washington Post, was
in congress from Ohio he was also pres
tdent Of a national bank.
He was ordered away by his physi-
clan for q rest, and went to. azvillage In
Georgia, where hi knew nobody and
where nobody knew him, and nobody,
apparently, cared to. Hel sat around
the hotel for two weeks and then he
decided to go back to Washington.
He found he did not have enough
money to pay his hotel bill and railroad
fare. He did not care to make a check,
so he walked over to the little bank on
the public square and told the aged
banker who he was, saying he desired
to make q draft for 5000 on the bank OF
which he was president.
Il don't know you" said the banker.
but you can make the draft, and IL the
bank honors 1t I will give you the
money"
/" Ican't wait that long" Wilkins re-
piled. II want the money now
Identity yourself" said the banker.
MI. Wilkins showed the banker his
name as president Of the Ohio bank In
the Bank directory and produced some
letters.
That's all right" said the banker,
but I can't let you have the money on
such an Identification"
Wilkins argued. The banker was OBJ
Gdurate. Finally. after half an hours
talk, the banker softened and said:
Let me see the tag on your shirt. II
the initials are right I'll cash the
draft" Wilkins opened his waistcoat.
The letters 81. P. b." loomed red and
distinct on the tag.
He had on one of half a dozen shirts
his shtrtmaker had sold him for cost
because the man for whom they were
made didn't take them.
Two OF the sporting men in Washing
ton at the Benntngs races were talk
Ing about the scheme OF government.
Il saw something yesterday r didn't
think they had" said one.
What was IT."
THE department of common labor"
There amt no such thing
Bet you fifty"
You're on
They went around to the Willard
building on Fourteenth street. The
man who made the statement pointed
tirumphantly to the gilt letters above
the main entrance, which read, 'De-
partment of Commerce and Labor
There he said, read that: De-
part1ment OF Common Labor"
The other chap looked at the sign.
BY George!" he exclaimed. That's
q new one on me. I didn't suppose they
had anything to do with common labor
In the governments"
He was about to pay the bet when he
shouted:
Hold on, here. I win. That amt
the department Of common labor.
You saw Common spelled with
an r."
"A certain Judge, living In the upper
part Of New York, while trying case,
listened with pain and displeasure to
the testimony of a colored woman who
was describing how she had whipped
OF her offspring. She enlarged on
the narrowing details until the Judge
stopped her.
"Do you mean to tell mo that you
We're cruel enough to punish your son
like that?" he demanded.
Job co'se I did, yoh honoh,'", she re-
piled.
"How dare you be SO brutal? %
The colored woman looked at him in
fine contempt for q moment, then
asked, slowly:
Look a-heah,G. ledge, was yoh eber
de father OBJ q wuthless mulatter boy?'
The Judge almost fell from the bench.
yoh amt" continued the negress,
you don't know muffin about de
The extent to which the lingo Of thu
is used as slang in the families Of
naval officers, particularly among the
women. is instanced by g. little story
now going the rounds In Washington.
The youngest daughter of a prom
inent naval officer was visiting q
friend who had called to congratulate
the eldest daughter. who lately had be-
engaged to q captain In the same
service al her father. The friend. re-
marking upon the engagement, sug-
that the youngest daughter
would miss her big sister. Whereupon
the firi addressed quickly replied:
! I'M advanced asnumben