Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1903-04-04
The Fear of Fear


was objective-from the outside
whetner real or supernatural; but it
ala not touch the subjective elements
OF the problem, of which the chief
is fear itself. Now, | do not believe
am physically a coward"
l know you are not" interrupted.
i remember your capture of that
thlef. lie was armed, and resisted
nercely, but you hung on"
Yes" he said, "a man finds out
whether he is coward or not by the
time he reaches my age; and have
goou reason to know that my courage
is not deficient. And | have no SUPER
stitions-which disposes of ghosts and
supernatural things. SO there is moth
ing Tor me to fear. Here is where the
reasoning faculty stops, and something
else-you call it temperament, do YOU?
begins. | do suffer from fear-at
times to the very edge of my self-con-
troll. What is it? Why is it? | be-
lieve that what l fear is fear Itself"
| shook my head. THAT statement
is meaningless to me-" l said
rs it?' he asked, almost wistfully;
cant you imagine being in terror of
a great fright that may overtake you
some time, even though you are up
able to anticipate a reasonable excuse
therefor. Let me give it to you in
more concrete form. A year or two
ago had a dream of peculiarly vivid
and impressive character. 1t was of
my sudden awakening here in bed, in
this room, to behold q man leaning
over me. He was in strange, uncouth
judge-and he was surrounded by, and
seemed to give out, fierce red light.
He shouted some words to mel don't
know what they were; only, at the
sound of them, such a mighty and
overwhelming terror came upon me
that l lay paralyzed as to motion and
thought. Then l awoke, really awoke
this time, and l found my body wet
with perspiration, and my heart beat
ing so fiercely and with such great
pain that 1 feared some blood vessel
must give way"
At this point l interrupted him, for
his voice was trembling with excite
ment.
You say you are not superstitions"
| said. "Then you surely are not 60
ing to allow yourself to be affected
by a dream? An overloaded stomach
is always likely to disturb the heart
Its rapid movement causes a sensation
exactly similar to fright, and the wan
dering brain conjures up a scare stu
alton to fit 1t. Did you never dream
out an elaborate series of events, cul-
minating In a pistol shot, and then
awaken to find that a window sash
had dropped, and you had pieced out
the dream backwards, as it were?"
How do you account for my having
this same dream, without an iota of
change, half dozen times since that
first experienced" asked Dawley.
at results" l answered, with the
easy confidence one shows in dispos-
ing of the problems of others, "from
the profound impression the first
dream made on your mind and mem
ory."
He smiled, and looked at me with
half-closed eyes. Then he relighted
his pipe, which had gone out, and |
remember that the hand holding the
match trembled a good deal
BY this time the subject had become
distasteful to me, revealing a mental
weakness or eccentricity in Dawley
So l turned the conversation into 9TH
er channels.
Only on one other occasion did we
speak again of this fear and the dream,
and then, as before, 1t was brought up
by a careless question.
Entering his room one night, l no.
ticed a powerful bolt that had been
newly fastened on the inside of his
door, and / asked if the lock had been
broken.
1t was a natural inquiry, and there
seemed to be no cause for the tremble
in his voice and the peculiar light in
his eyes as he replied to me:
"a lock can be picked. l wished
to satisfy myself that it was impossi
BILE for human being to enter this
room while | Sleep"
| glanced up at the transom. 1t was
held shut by heavy iron bar. Then
| looked out of the window. 1t faced
the court between the wings of the
building, with a sheer drop of nearly
forty feet.
utterly impossible" said l.
Then noticed for the first time a