Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-12-16

THE ALPHABET.
AN Mt head or Ma
can learn the Alphabet to say,
But G it takes the clever II
or one who is a little wy
TO c that when recited true
The Alphabet's dirty through and through
But take this Q, the Alphabet
A very thorough cleaning will get
If . will UUUU. Sapolo
For it finds dirt an EZ foe.
The Proof.
abe D efgh l jklmnopq r uvwx z
SPELLING
PROPER enough, no doubt. 'twould be
II you spelled cleanliness with c;
But better way to spell it l Know
Just S-A-P-O-I-I-O.
For that famed soap doth work spell
And leads to Cleanliness so we'll
Ihat all pronounce the two the same
Identical meaning though different name.
READING.
THE short word READING if twisted, It's
said,
WIN prove we GAIN by all we've RED;
But READING is such valued thing
It's merits in no EAR III DING.
For he on iearning's road must lag
Who fails to RIDE that gentle NAG.
I'll just point out one handy rule
You'll always find there / S A POOL
Wherever there's SAPOLIO,
And so for water need not so.
Each combi i has the same letters IS
the word READING. us A POOL" has
the same letters as SAPOLIO.
CLASS ".
PUNCTUATION
WHEN you have put coal on G. the FIRE,
Pefhaps you, too. flame up with ire,
And with an exclamation mark @
Your hands are now 4 shade too dark.
but then may come g happy thought
OF wonders which that soap has wrought.
whose Widespread use through period &
long,
Beyond all question marks ezra it strong.
So you ditto CO the course you always go
And make a dash g for SAPOLIO.
ARITHMETIC
TO MULTIPLY your pleasure each day
SUBTRACT all dirt that comes your way;
But to do this, you ought to know,
You first must ADD Sapolio
Which Will DIVIDE by 3 your moil
And require but a FRACTION OF former
TOLL
For 1.-The Rule of Three" as may be seen.
Is DIRT plus SAPOLIO equals CLEAN
GEOGRAPHY.
IN life. whatever is your SPHERE.
lis safe to STATE dirt will appear;
And this must quite annoying be-
For dirt is no delight to SEA
But though it be piled MOUNTAIN high,
tbs PLAIN that it will quickly fly,
If you've notion IAN OCEAN, to OBEY
And all of them SayPOLEo
For that makes ev'rything clean as snow.
HISTORY.
WHEN crusty old DICGENES went on a
daytime chase
With lighted lantern held before his pniI-
OSophic face,
He did not seek az honest man as histo-
rieS declare,
But S" lrched for dishonest man. and
sought him eVpryyChpre
For dishonest grocer had palmed off on
him some soap
That failed to clean his lantern and at
night had made him grope
So now he sought that rascal man round
Athens, high and low.
To make the man refund the coin or give
SAPOL1O!
PHYSIOLOGY
Do not give EAR to counsel bad
For evryone NOSE that makes ore sad
The worst advice that TONGUE can tell
Is, Take this soap twill do as we'll"
strong
And tell the clerk his BRAIN is wrong,
And you've experience quite in point
To put his statement OUT OF JOINT
Just NAIL his lies and let him know
Your HEART is set SAPOLIO!
CLASS TX.
MUSIC.
1T is matter Of general NOTE
I0aC INTO mouse or tLAI Will nOat
Dust and dirt to take their place
In fashion that's frlpoite and BASS
For never mind how SHARP you are
Their sly invasion you cannot BAR
Unless the proper KEY you know,
Which is of course, SAPOLIO-
The soap that brings you REST right
And keeps your house or FLAT in
TUNE!
LET Housewife equal plus x-E
Let E the sign for Sapoio be; E
For Dirt let minus x be had; x
Then all these symbols will add.
The and minus Y drop out
(As anyone can see, no doubt
And leave what must the housewife
The happy symbol we call ease. EE
SHORTHAND
THE cleverest hands, both short and long,
Are far too clever to purchase wrong;
So they buy the soap with the little short
hand
soap that dirt cannot withstand.
For the soap with stenographic speed
Is the sort Of cleaner that people need
TO handtly handle in handsome hands,
Hand Sapolo only meets the demands.
The Ashes Of the Deau
The pestofIice department has prepared
ruling to the effect that cremated
bodies should be classed as merchandise,
and should pay the regular rate OF l cent
for four ounces. AS result of this de-
cision, four alright tin canisters contain
ing the cremated remains of a family,
shipped from New York to San Fran
cisco, were forwarded from the Wash
ington postoffice, where they had been
held up pending a determination Of the
postage rates for the journey.
A Snow Kriss Kringle.
A IHriss Kringle which closely resem-
bles snow man may be made by mailing
two sticks Of proper length to block
of wood which forms the body, and
wrapping them in cotton batting, after
which the rest of the figure may be made
by sewing cotton balls to the body until
it assumes the right shape. A fur cap
and false whiskers complete the coed
fairy