davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
Rnffen IN Denmark.

"The returns show" cried the can
didate, that was defeated in my own
division. They only gave me Is votes.
There's been some crooked work
there"
''You think you really got more
votes than thst?"
'Wen, should have, for paid for
1O0."-Philadelphis Press.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
Trnr Mercr.

Prisoner" said the judge, you are
convicted of bigamy-Of having mar
ried two wives. Have you any plea for
mercy before the sentence Of the court
is imposed on yOu?"
"Yes, judge" said the prisoner, give
me as big sentence in jail as you can. -
"What?"
II want t keep out O. the clutches
Of those two wives as long as I can.
and a long Jail sentence will be true
rcy."-Baltimor Herald.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
70 Ned Of shoutinr.

shut the door," beloved the irate
merchant. "Where were you brought
up, sir-in a sawmillP"
well, I'm not sure as to that" re-
piled the young drummer in honeyed
accents, pressing both hands to his
ears, "but of one thing l can assure
you, my dear sir, and that is that was
not brought up in boiler factory
Syracuse Standard.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

'No want him." said the Indian,
pushing back the ticket; cost too
much"
"Ah, see" unused the ticket agent;
"the influence of heredity is strong
within you. You want a scalper's tick
et."-Judge.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

Deacon James-Don't you think IL
wrong for your husband to go hEhing
on the Sabbath?
Mrs.. BroWn-Wrong7 It's positive
" wicked the way he wastes his time
and his money on tackle and bait, and
hardly ever brings home more than
one or two mean little hshss.-BOston
Transcript.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
CnInrInr RutternIea.

New kinds of living butterflies can
be produced from existing forms by
greatly increasing the temperature of
the place where the butterflies are
kept. A difference in coloring and even
in form has thus been obtained by
Prof. Fisher in recent experiments
Science
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

A vaudeville artist out west recently
adopted four pickaninnies, ranging In
age from four TO six years, in order
that she might use them in 4 comedy
sketch. Now she has lost her voice
and her employment, and WIN be
obliged 60 hustle Cor q livelihood in
some other field in order to support
the little negroes until they shall be
R1.-ChfcaQo Chronicle.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
ConveufNH.

Friend Ito amateur GrtiStl-I sup
pose you'll give up painting when you
marry.
Amsteur-Oh, mol tn Be 90 con-
Venient and economical when we have
30 make wedding presentA-WOmsn'S
Home Companion.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
TInalH SnrreIfinn.

she-YOu say funny things one
minute and solemn things the next.
Really, I don't know what 20 make
Of you
He (eagerly)-WeIl, suppose you
make 9 husband Of me.-Chieago
Daily News.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
Great DdHerence nean.d

The teacher asked the class wherein
lay the difference in meaning between
the words sufficient" and enough"
Sufficient answered Tommy, sis
when mother thinks it's time for me
to stop eating pudding; enough IL
when 1 think II STRAY Stories.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
UnparaIIsIed ActIritr.

$50 this is your dull season, eh?"
observed the visitor. when Is the
busiest period in your factory2"
when the whistle blows for the
men to leave work." answered the
manufacturer.-Stray Stories.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
auaIIHed FrIepd-bin

MOoney-Brace up, man! Troth,
yez LUX as if yez didn't have a fri'nd
in tn whole wur'rld.
Hogan-Oi hOvn't.
"G'wan! If it amt money yez
want { borry, Dim as good a fr'ind as
liver yez had. Brooklyn Eagle.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
Free ParIaIan Theatrical..

Some Of the Partisan theaters give
gratuitous performances three or four
times a year. They are intended for
poor people, and those who are first
in line are usually at the doors sew
eral hours before the house is opened.
indianapolis News.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
Plenty NJ sPubIies.,,

Eleven public houses in . village
which only contains - dwellings, is 3
record which viii be hard to beat Such
. viIlage Is to be found in County Derry,
Ireland, the only premises not licensed
being the police barracks and . cream
gy-PearsOn's Weekly.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
~ Unele Reuben saIr.

I has sllus made it my boast dat
was an honest man; but to tell you de
truth I was nebber left along for q
mint wild anybody's hundred dollars
and giben q chance to prove myself 9
rascal.-Detroft Free Press.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
Malta. PopuIation.

Malta is the most thickly POPu-
lated iSland in the world. II has 1880
people to the square mile. Barbados
has 1.0S4 people to the square mile.
N. Y. Sun.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
Ending the piarertation.

Would you call cat herbiVorous or
carniVorous?" asked a man who il
learned but tedious.
Neither" answered the man who
yawns, merely vociferous."-Stray
Stories.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

Mr.. NsWlyWed-When We were
married you said you were Is.
Mrs. NeWlywed-Wen, do you mean
70 insinuate that was older2
Mr.. NeWlywed-oh, no; but from
my luck since I've thought perhaps
you were 1s.-Judge.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

Johnny-Ssy, ma, our teacher told
N to-day that through natures prov
idsnes" . cat always lands on its feet
whsa e - dropped, 90 Il WOnt be hurt
MotheE-Wellf
sWsu, I went mp On TIE ROT and
Eroppod our cat Of. and I guea she'll
have 70 be picked up With q piece Of
blotting paper. I'm. 7. Tines.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

That wheat has grown in Alaska
a century ago is proven by the dis
covery Of two old -four mills, built
by the subjects Of the car, in the
southern part Of the territory
Cleveland Leader.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
Awaiting He opportunItr.

Mrs. NewlyTiche-John, we must
really make some move to get into
high society! Now, how are we going
to do it?
Mr.. Newlyriehe-Hanged if know.
Jane;-but I'm going to put that ques-
ton to the butler just as soon as can
catch him with a confidential jag on
Puck
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

A life preserver invented by q
Hamburg engineer looks like an or
binary poeketbook, weighs but one
and one-haf ounces, and on wetting
becomes inflated with gas to sustain
200 pounds three days.-N. Y. Sun.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
CareIensnena.

WiggIe-He has one foot in the grave
already.
Woggle-Why, he looks young
enough. Explain yourself.
"He left it in the PhiiPPines."-
Harvard LampOon.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
- 1919 the VOID.

Just 1850 minutes was the time
taken BY an ordinary cable message in
going round the world from Boston,
Via Vancouver and AustrahA-Sei-
entihe American
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
purlnr nc FnniIr ..

Professional Violinist-But, my.
dear, we win have to do some eeOnO-
MIXING until can make more money.
his Wife (petulantly)-Oh, hddlel
Judge.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
me EarIIeat national AIIIanee.

The very earliest example of a ma
tional alliance is contained in what
is the oldest historical document yet
known, inscribed on a bowl found at
Sungir, in Chaldea-the Shinar of the
Bible-and dating from about 1000 B.
C.-N. Y. Sun.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

A gigantic shoe trust exists IN Rus
Ella. Nearly al the shoes sold IN that
country are manufactured by one
drm ia St. Petersburg, which 81 one
Of the most prosperous stock com
pauies IN the World.-E. z. Sun
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
WouIa Re Re TT

The Fellow-Are you looking for
anything that can help you fnd2
The Girl-Perhaps. 1 am looking
for . son-in-law for my mother
Kansas City Journal.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

Nother-Why, Johnnyi aren't ron
slhamed Of yoursslf-strfling your
little brofher7
JOhnny-Im dcilg Il for HIS o1gn
coed, ma, and Il hurts ne more than
& doos h1m-W0maa's Home Con-
nani1a.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

Practically the entire commercial
wealth Of midas S0O,oOO,OOO inhabit-
ants IL in the hands Of $1,000 paFIees
and rsjAhs.-Albany Argus.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

Many a fool man casts a shadow on
his Hfe By standing in his own light
Chicago Daily News.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

WigEsrs-DO you know how bald
Nugby iB3
JiggurB-Eo; how bald q he9
why, he's 80 bald that he can have
kis hsi< cut without taking @ his
-. =. IlmaA
The broad ax., 1903-01-31
ErpensIve Enrarensnh..

Long engagements are rather expen-
EiVe Affairs in Russia The bride
grOOm-elect is expected to send his
fancee q present every days-Albsny
Argus.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

Individuality OF the American Girl.
The American girl has often more in
dividual character and strength Of mind
than any other girl in the world. She
knows what she likes, what she wants,
and what she dislikes and detests. This
alone is a comfort when it comes to
being associated with anyone in a So
cial way. The cOlorless damsel who
shippers out: Anything you ike,
please" when you ask her what she
wants for luncheon is by no means a
Joy forever. The American girl knows
what she wants to eat, what she needs
to wear, what she cares to read. If
she likes walking OF riding or boating,
she will say so, and if she doesn't like
them she is quite likely to announce
her predictions. 49, Woman's Home
Companion.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

First Chorus Girl--I did good thing
to-day.
second Chorus Girl-What's his
name2-Baliimore World.
The broad ax., 1903-01-31

When q mans temper gets the best
Of him e shows him ct his Worst-Chi-
ego Daily EeWA
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02
COUNTY LICENSE LAWS.

That portion of the county bill which
relates to licenses Is one of the chap
tiers that will certainly require thor
ough overhauling before finally passed
by the Legislature. As stated by w. o.
Smith in his preliminary report, the
commission incorporated the present
license law in the bill with no material
changes. Doubtless this was done to
furnish the framework for future filling
in. II Is hardly reasonable TO suppose
that the commission considered the
present license law sufficient for tina
needs of the counties.
Ever since the Territory was estab-
Iished the necessity for general re-
formation of the license law has been
apparent. The present law is the re-
mains of the Republic of Hawaii stat
ute with the unconstitutional features
eliminated and a good sized income
struck of the Territorial balance sheet.
The enactment of good license law
was one of the many important mat
tiers which the first Legislature ne
elected. Now that the collection Of
I licenses is to be turned over to the
/ counties II is all important that the
l. law should at least undergo the i'm
provements which Territorial expert
enCe suggests.
Whatever happens in passing the
county bill there can be no excuse for
embodying in II Territorial laws which
are generally admitted to be poorly
adapted to the changes which anneXa-
ton has brought about, Amendments
to the present license system have been
In course of preparation by the Treas
urer for some time past with a view to
( placing the license revenues on more
satisfactory basis. There can be no
better time for bringing these amend
meuts to the front for thorough discus
sion. The counties should not be
brought into existence with a lot OF
second hand material from the Terri
tory known to be incompetent to NEE
the demands OF old conditions to say
nothing Of the new.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02
HK'S LODGE MAY HAVE
REGULAR Club ROOMS

The Elks are Just now considering II
proposition Of taking part OF the
upper floor of the Young Building for
club purposes, the regular lodge rooms
to be maintained ut their present loca-
ton. corner of Beretania and Miller
streets. A committee from the lodge
has already gone through the rooms
under discussion with II. Wingate
Lake, manager of the hotel, which is
shortly to start up in the Young build
ing.
II the proposition on the part of the
hotel is accepted by the Elks, It Is pro-
posed to establish there a club which
will be modern in every respect There
will be a buffet and regular club rooms
as well as place where the young
men may take ladies after the opera
or some other entertainment and there
secure a supper. In addition to these
features, there will be large billiard
and pool room.
1t is the intention OF the Elks that II
the scheme at present in contempla-
ton is carried into effect, there will be
admitted into the club others than
members of the Elks and that 1t will
be made general. In other words, the
club will be something apart from the
Elks but will be under the direct man
agement of the lodge.
There is something else going on in
the line of clubs which 1t is said VIII
soon take on great proportions. II will
be remembered that some time ago a
story was published in this paper re-
garding the formation of a club by
the Princes David Kawananakoa and
Jonah Kalanianaole together with
many other young business men OF the
city. II is said that the very rooms
which the Elks are thinking about may
be taken by the men at the head Of this
earlier scheme.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

citizens only, and that the contractors
shall not be permitted to employ any
Asiatic labor upon any contract so
given to them by the Government.
This will eliminate that species Of
competition which has proven so un.
fair and un.Amerlcan on these Islands,
and has been the cause of SO much dis
satisfaction In the past, and has driven
many good American citizens and 9th.
er classes to the wall and actual want,
The advancement of American ideas
and Occidental progress in Hawaii de-
classes, and this protection should be
given to all good citizens. If this loop
hole should be left open am afraid
we shall lose the balance of our best
labor, consisting of Portuguese, Ger.
man and others, now American citi'
Zens.
All licenses If granted semi-annually
In place of annually think would work
better and be less hardship on some Of
the pubic.
All appointing power should be TAX
en- away from the Governor as much
as possible and should be left to the
majority voter, as final.
There are, perhaps, other points that
might stand better explanation, but
will now close these remarks. hoping
you may deem them suitable for publ.
cation. EDW. II. f. WoLTER.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02
Claus spreekeIs. WIN. c. irwin.
Claus Spreckels { Co.
BANK e RS.
HONOLULU, T. H..

San Francisco Agents - The Ne.
vada National Bank of San Francisco.
San Francisco The Nevada Ma.
tional Bank of San Francisco.
london-The Union Bank OF Lon.
don, Ltd.
New York-American Exchange Ma.
tioual Bank.
chieago-Merchants' National Bank.
Paris-Credit Lyonnais.
Berlin-Dresdner Bank.
Honskong and Yokohama - Hong
kong'Shanghai Banking Corporation.
New Zealand and Australia - Bank
of New Zealand
Victoria and Vancouver Bank Of
British North America.
Deposits received. Loans made on
approved security. Commercial and
Travellers Credits issued. Bills of Elk.
change bought and sold.
Collections Promptly Accounted For.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

of getting them TO work In harmony
with one another
Hut no Secretary Of War, even II he
is as active and intelligent rs Elihu
Root, can serve as the medium Of com
munication. between so many diferent
points. The duties more proper to his
position are numerous enough to oc-
Cupy his whole time. What he needs IS
stan corps charged with the duty of
being clearing house for all War De
partment business
Senator Alger Of Michigan is a mem
Der of the Senate Committee on Mill.
tary Affairs. Secretary Root appealed
to him to speak of the difficulties that
he experienced at the time Of the war
with Spain. owing to the fact that II
was physical impossibility for the
Secretary of War to follow up every
order that was given for the securing
of material, the movement OF material
and troops. while he had no adequate
force of officers to do the following up.
Senator Alger probably felt that the
case was well put.
Now. although II does not get into
the newspapers" said Secretary Root.
the same kind of confusion is going on
all the time, and 1t results in great
waste of public property and OF pub
lie time" The evils which appeared
during the war existed unnoticed by the
public during peace. There is no rea-
son why we should tolerate such evils
any longer a staff of corps will wipe
many Of them out of existence.-Chica-
go Tribune.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

Mr. VOTERS suggestion regarding
the labor employed in carrying OUT
county contracts is in keeping with the
policy of the Territory to confine its
public work to American citizens. Tho
demand for this is so general that
County Supervisors would naturally be
expected to make this rule. There can
be no harm, however, In making the
terms of the county bill exact to pre-
vent any Board of Supervisors going
astray.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

The following were arrested on the
Kinau wharf yesterday after noon at
about o'clock by Officer Adam Dun
can on the charge Of gambling and the
dragnet showed the following: ].
Brown, J. Mahoe, T, Mason. J. CRUDE,
G. Fern and In Brown. AS matter
OF fact, the two Brown are fictitious
names and to prove this, they did not
show up when their names were called
in the Police Court this forenoon. One
OF the Browns is less a person than {,
reporter on the Advertiser upon whom
Duncan alighted when he went over
the fence to catch his men.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02
WHAT GENERAL STAFF BILL WILL DO.

Senator Cockrcl told a good story
the other day during a session of tn"
senate Committee on Military AfIairs.
II was a story about the War Depart
ment. In 1887 the War Department
had to do little work on the Missis-
gippi River. II was an exceedingly lit
tie work diminutiye, lilipution. With
out proiminaries II could have .beea
done almost instantaneously. But that
was where the trouble came in. There
were preliminaries. That is, there
were signatures to be secured. II
seemed as IL every separate stroke OF
work required separate w"itten auth
orization. The total number Of sigma
lures reached seventy.
This story is not an exception. II Is
a type. Red-tape is not like learning.
A little Of It is a good thing. 1t is the
excess of 1t that is dangerous. Tho
removal Of excessive red-tape would be
one Of the results of the establishment
Of an army stan corps. Secretary Root
made this point during the same ses-
sion Of the Senate Committee on Mil
itary Affairs.
At present there is no coordination
OF the sections of the War Department
except in the person of the Secretary
of War. The quartermaster general
the commissary general, the artillery
the engineers. the signal corps, thu
commanders of troops, and many Other
persons and groups of persons have tc
he controlled directly by the bead o
the department. There is no other wa,
++**+++<tt<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
houses. Hawai's financial center u
| san Francisco and II is foregone con
clusion that this Territory cannot die
tate to the stronger financial power
The benefit of conducting business OH
American lines will be mutual.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

Fifth District Republicans waived
their claims TO the Waiakhmilo camp
found whose qualifications recommend.
ed him to the favor of all party men.
That's the kind of candidate Honolulu
should have for every office.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

The Bulletin does not agree with
those who think capitalists will refuse
TO buy Hawaiian stocks unless listed
on the San Francisco Exchange. A
good investment seldom If ever has to
go begging. What our local financiers
have to decide is whether the increased
volume Of business resulting from adj
ditional stocks listed in San Francisco
will not increase the trade OF local
brokers as well as the San Francisco
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

After having spent half his life fight.
ing for the canal Senator Morgan now
comes TO the front as the great OBJ
structionist, Present appearances are
that the Senator will be bowled over
by the enthusiastic popular demand for
which he is largely responsible.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

When President Castro stands pat in
the midst of the enemies that beset
him at home and abroad, he can be put
down as well backed up or a dwelling
idiot. Future events will enable the
public to correctly size up the bellig-
erent President.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

Less than thirty working days now
remain for the present Congress to
pass the antitrust bill, the Cuban and
Canal treaties. II past history counts
anything in forecasting Congressional
activity all these important measures
will be handed down for the newly
elected Congress to wrangle over.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

In view of the international game of
bluff that is going on. 1t would be dis
courteous for Uncle Sam to refuse the
purchase Of war ships offered ny Ar.
gentine and Chile.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

1t is difficult to say just how Laysan
island should be dealt with under the
county bill, but the importance of
Necker island should entitle It to Il
county government of its own.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

II the General STAFF bill will settle
the troubles of the War Department 1t
should go through by unanimous con-
sent. Every war period experienced
has generally given rise to a row in
the War Department quite as momen-
tous as the scrimmages on the field Of
battle.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

General Miles visit to King Edward
will enable the General to gather a few
new ideas on uniforms. but fortunately
he is slated to retire before a change
of styles can be put into effect.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

1t would be money in Hawaii's pock-
ct as well as the stock brokers II our
sugar stocks were listed ON the New
York stock exchange in addition to San
Francisco.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

The best work possible at the small
lest cost to the Territory epitomizes
Judge De Bolts charge to the Grand
Jury.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

1t is up to the citizens Of Walluku
and Lahaina to study the census re-
turns and figure out which town comes
near the center of county population
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

When the thieves begin to take
trunks out of the house 1t is about
time the householder put double
guard over red hot stoves.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

Disarmament by two South American
Republics reads like a joke. If il does
MT turn out to be one. the millennium
prophet will have a chance to shine.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

A fifty per cent reduction in the
price of drinks should not be accepted
as signal for the tanks starting in to
consume all the liquor in town.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02
MONDAY. FEBRUARY 2. 1903.

Rapid Transit to waikiki is second
only to the 81 100000 for the fire claims
IT. the estimation OF the general public.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

The Californian was taking sugar
from the wharf on one side and three
steamers on the other side this morn
ing and handling 1t all conveniently.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

Attorney General Andrews turned his
attention this morning to mass OF
work that will either make or break
him.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

Pineapples grow so plentiful in Ma
tai at certain seasons that 1t is not
worth while carting them to market,
and they are often given to the pigs in
consequence.