The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-02-02

the front room, convenient arrangement
by which all the steam that managed to
penetrate from the boiler belowstairs
to the coils of the radiator was immedi-
ately CONCEALED by the icy blast that
came through the cracks of the sash.
The result can best be imagined by those
who have either travelled in the Polar
regions, or spent winter in similar
domicile Yet I could not find it in my
heart to blame the poor little radiator for
it's shortcomings as purveyor of heat
1t was of course no more fitted for the
task it had had thrust upon it than a
chafing dish would have been under the
same conditions, but it was most So
ciable little engine.
It was last winter that it happened. It
was bitterly cold Sunday morning, and
was lying away the early morning
hours in bed half awake and trying to
squeeze out another hour of dreamless
rest Suddenly the radiator began click
ing fiercely. At first I paid little atten-
ton and turned over on my side to doze
off again. The radiator rumbled as if dis
turbed by something and took to sput-
tering like an angry child. ending up
with clicking that was as short and
sharp as that Of Geographic instrument.
oh shut up, you" said I. Cant you
see that I'm not through sleeping yet?
| Stop your internal racket
"Clicl1ety-c click! Clickety- click click!
Click click -clickety- click retorted the
radiator, with an insolent rumble that ir-
! ritated me.
'If you'd work more and talk less, my
dear Rady." I said severely, you'd be
more valuable addition to the sum total
of my comfort. Garrulous frigidity In
radiator is bad form, so shut off your
clicking, or I'll take the poker to YOU
The threat was of no avail-and I am
glad it wasn't, for with an impertinent
kissing as a starter the radiator followed
my protest with -
''S-s-s-s-s-z-c lickety clickety click"
and then I realized something that
brought me bounding from my bed to the
side of the saucy little heater, my hand
trembling with excitement, and my brain
in a whirl of expectation.
The radiator was clicking out a mes
sage.
Fortunately for my understanding Of
what was happening, in my young days
had made myself master of the Morse
alphabet, and as I listened to the noises
Which the radiator was making it sud-
denly dawned upon me that the clickings
were actually spelling out words, and this
is what they spelled:
Upon what terms will you edit Fur
Their Recollections of Shylock Homes?'
; Radate at once. Collect
For moment I was stunned
What in thunder are you talking about,
Rady?" I said, getting down on my knees
J beside it. Upon what terms will I edit
1.-The Further Recollections Of Shylock
Homes,'" repeated the radiator, and it
added, again, 'Radiate at once. Collect
!, 'Radiate at once, eh?'' I replied with
hysterical laugh. why, certainly. Any
thing to oblige-but who shall I radiate?
What does it mean?"
Its the term we use in steam heated
telegraphy for wire" explained the ma
chine in short, nervous clicks. He wants
you to radiate your answer at his eX-
5 pense as soon as you can. Will you edit
his memoirs, and if so what'n you charge?
. Brace up. You're frightfuly stupid this
1 morning.
None Of your impudence,' retorted.
"All right answered the Radiator
"I'll tell him you don't see anything in
q his proposition and he can click up some
y body else with trif1e more intelligence
you'll do nothing of the Sort I cried
I hastily. Tell him I'll do it at the reg
r ular rates." I.
What are they?" demanded the Ra-
What the publisher doesn't take comes
i to me-" I said with laugh.
The Radiator let off an indignant squirt
of steam which the cold air from the win
dow Immediately turned into an icicle
: that dropped with crash to the floor
. The reply was licked off in an instant
and then all was silent for a half hour
At the end Of this time second message
came to me.
What do I get?'' shylock Homes
queried.
"All the notoriety there is in it and
as many Of the press notices of the book
as you want 1 answered, facetiously,
: thinking, of course, that the whole cpl
sode was an idle fancy and not for an
: instant dreaming that / was driving
, heart-breaking bargain with a defense
less spirit.
, "Al right, I accept" the Radiator
, Kissed, little sadly, thought, an hour
:, later. 1.-THE terms are very, very hard
but I can't help myself. Get your pads
ready and I will begin radiating the man
: uscript right away
$ Still rubbing my eyes in amazement.
made the necessary preparations, and
I within the next week had received from
I Shylock Homes the text of his memoirs
2 precisely as they appear in the following
1 chapters. There was some trouble with
$ the last three chapters, owing to the
;. clogging up of the steam pipe on the fifth
: day, and I was compelled to secure the
4 cola boration of a plumber in getting
Mr.. Homes three final papers out. but
f in every other respect the task was about
e as easy one as I ever encountered
Next Monday-"Mr. Homes makes an
important Confession"