davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19

GLOW did the doctor tell you to take
the medicine, Larry-lnternally or ex-
ternallyW
"Nayther wan, sor"
"But It must have been one or the
other"
"Divil bit, sor. Nayther wan"
"But look here, Larry; that's absurd.
1t must have been one or the other, you
know"
"Nayther wan, | tell ye. He tould me
to snuff it up me nose."-St. Louis Re-
public.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19

The Dcar Child-Oh, Mrs. Bloom,
when did you get backf
Mrs Bloom Bless you, dear, I was
not away anywhere. What made you
think so?
The Dear Child / thought you were.
heard my mamma say that you were
at loggcrhcads with your husband for
over week.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19

"The boys are throwing stones Mt
poor pcddlor."
courageous"
"That's what think"
"Whosc boys are theyf"
yours"
ooh, well, boys will be boys. Let the
children play Chicago Post
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19
To Say Nothing of Powder.

Geraldine Women are just as honest
Es men.
Gerald That isn't 50. A man will
put up a sign, Look out For Paint"
but did you ever know woman to do
III brooklyn Life.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19

"Shc IL the most inconsistent woman
| ever knew"
Never does what she ought TO o.
what you expect, ehf'
"'rhnt Is just II. Sometimes she does.
She u Inconsistency inconsistent"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19

Hostess-I wonder why your little
brother seems 50 restless and uncom-
fortablei
Little Ethel think It's cause his
hands is clean Stray Stories
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19

d His holiness Pope Leo XIII. hal
Gsigned the appointment of the Rev. j.
IT,, Regis Canevin, rector of ST. Pauri
cathedral of Pittsburg, as coadJutos
bishop Of Pittsburg.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19

Beware of the man who offers you
advice at the expense of mutuol
friend
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19

Some Philadelphians visited Rich
mond, Va, and, asking as 10 the use Of
this and that large building, We're told
in every ease that 1t was n tobacco fac
tory. An aged negro gave them the in
formation and they. firing Of the mo-
notony of the reply. pointed to white
frame building on n hill and asked
whose tobacco factory that was, ac-
cording to the Detroit News-Tribune.
The old fellow replied:
Dat, sab, am no fact'ry. Dat am
SIN Johns 'Piscopal church, where
Marse Patrick Henry done get up an
AK de Lawd to glib him liberty or glib
hin deaf"
well, uncle" asked one Of the trio.
(which did the Lord give him.
Pears TO me yo' must be strangers
hereabouts," he answered, "else yod
all know dat. In due time, de Lawd
gabe Marse Henry bofe."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19

Young Mani desire to study law.
DO you think / could make living at
it2
Old Lawyer Hardly. You might,
however, by studying your clients
Baltimore American.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19

None are less eager 10 learn the.
shey who ktow nothing Suard
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19
All One tn Hin,

Look, papa! The duke has brought
his corOnet"
'Tell him TO 20 ahead and play 1t. !.
don't mind the noise . life
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19

Mrs Meeklns What n frightful brute
that Mr.. Blood must be! His wife tells
me that her mother Is afraid TO open
her mouth IN his presence.
Mr. Meekins-Is 1t possible? Why, he
must be a regular terror. (MusIngly)
| wonder how the fellow manages It.
Kansas City Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-08-19

n II wasn't for silly hens the fox
would not have Ills reputation. Life.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1903-08-29

Joe Platt is unpacking some excell
ent fall and winter clothing He stat :
that it is the finest stock that he has
received in number of years. tu"
mind
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1903-08-29

r. Savage.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1903-08-29

Trib cures bruises and sprains.
c. w. Friend. Optician.
See the new samples at Joe Platt's.
Atkinson's Nevada Business Insti
tute. Reno, is endorsed by leading men
of this State and California.
Educate for business at Atkinson 5
Nevada Business Institute at Reno.
Veal loaf, Chicken. veal and ham
pate. Spiced sardines and soused
tongue.-Kelly. Arlington Block.
A ten-stamp mill is to be installed at
Ellsworth, Nye county.
said to he producing ore, carrying SEN
sational gold values.
Learn shorthand and bookkeeping
at Atkinson's Nevada Business Insti-
tute Reno.
James H. Corliss, aged so years, and
an old resident of Reno died there
Wednesday,
Joe Plat has received an elegant
line Of Fall and winter samples of
gents clothing. He guarantees a per.
feet tit.
On the authority of the Bee Johnson
Sides, the Piute premier and peace
maker is gravitating rapidly toward
the happy hunting grounds. He is lo
Gated on hop ranch near Sacramento
| w. Aidurge and Emma Cleland, Vi
Yankee Hill, Ca, both past the three
score mark were married in Reno Wed
nesday.
B. E. Wilson, a brakeman. was seri
ously injured by jumpinbg from z
moving freight train near Reno las
night
Timothy Connolly, a pioneer of Aus
tin, dieu last Sunday. He had beel
stricken with paralysis and fell to tn
floor, where he starved to death, be
ing unable to cook any of the proviS
ions with which his cabin was we!
} supplied.
Owing to much better facilities TO
handling ice cream we are enabled L
make a substantial reduction In tn
price of same. Our cream Is guaran
} teed strictly first class. ]. e. RICH
ARDSON.
Joe Platt is unpaCking some excel
ent fall and winter clothing. He stat
, that it is the finest stock that he ha
received in a number of years. fu'
chasers will do well to bear this i
mind.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1903-08-29
Local News of Carson and Vicinity

Trib cures bruises and sprains.
C. w. Friend. Optician.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1903-08-29
THE BAND EXCURSION.
Questions That are Being Asked,
Answered.


Answered.
The Nevada State Band excursion
for one week from Sunday, to the Fea-
ther river and Mohawk valley, Cali
fOrnia, promises to be the most pop
ular event of many seasons The rate
is the cheapest ever obtained for u
like distance. Over $50 miles will be
covered by the round trip and the fare
is but 81. Many questions are being
asked and the following is supposed
to answer most of them:
The train will leave Carson City at
O'Clock in the morning; will leave
Reno about 7:3O and will return to
Carson City the same evening.
Don't take your best clothes, if you
wish to make the most of the trip.
Be comfortable-it's easier than being
pretty
There are no hotels or saloons at the
destination Take your lunch.
Excursionists will have from five to
six hours at the grounds, said to be
one of the protest spots in all Califor-
MIA.
Fishing is said to be good in the Ii
yer.
The cars will not be crowded The
railroad companies do not propose to
have any accidents, and enough cars
will be provided that all may be com
fCrtably seated.
The run will be made swiftly. AT
Reno will occur the only transter-tc
the MOO. At Beckwith Pass the train
will leave the MOO track and com
plete the distance on the rails of the
Sierra Valley railroad without chang,
of cars Three locomotives will heaf
| the train.
The excursion will pass through tbs
famous Becllwith Pass. So will tht
| Western Pacific road now in process:
CT construction.
Children will be charged full fare
The rate of less than cent per mile
is too low to allow of any further re
duction
The next day, Monday, is lega
holiday
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1903-08-29
Wood For Sale.

Good dry split and limb pine
wood, sold in quantity to suit patrons.
Saving done on short notice. Ring
up phone 191.
R. Savage
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1903-08-29

California home brand ripe olives IN
2Soz jars, worth 35c. going at zoe per
jar, while they last kelly's. Arlington
block
The railroad company has struck all
ineXhaustible supply of water at East
Reno in the well they have been sink
ing and can fill the 10000 gallon tank
built near it in short time.
Considerable prospecting is in pro-
gress in the Funeral and other noun
tain ranges bordering Death Valley
dessert, searching for the tabled Gun
Shot mine.
The Walker Lake Bulletin states
that prominent Tonopah capital Il
is about to shy his castor into the mat
rimonial ring.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29
Nativity of the Potato.

There is as much mystery us history
connected with the common tuber call
ed the potato. It's nativity, origip'.l
place in the kingdom of nature and
several other things regarding it are
still open questions. AS to its nativity,
the weight Of argument seems to favor
the tropical or subtropical regions Of
America There is tradition that the
vines once grew to monstrous size and
that the balls" were of the "bigncss
Of melons," and at that time the roots
were not tubers. the edible parts grow
ing among the branches. 1t seems that
they were first introduced into Europe
in the year 1865.
Haskell's Roots and Wild Plants"
says, "Wamkins first fetched queer,
bulboUs root out of America which
some called 4 'bodado,' while others,
who had heard the PeruviaUs mention
it, spoke of it as potato" Pertains
Cyclopedia of Agriculture says that Sir
John Wamkins found it growing wild
near Santa Fe de Bogota at an alti-
tude Of 5000 to $4,000 feet. He also
says that it was fetched out Of Amer
lea" at about the time settled upon by
Haskell-viz, in the year 1865.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29

amount together with national or
State aid or both, supplemented by
small tax levy for road purposes. 1t
certainly will take a considerable
amount Of money to improve the
roads at first. This must be con-
sidered as foregone conclusion and
must form the basis of,all our cslcu-
las,ons.~ The question then for US
,, consider is how this sum of money
Is t. b- raised. Let US decide upon
that and half the battle will bs won.
These things will doubtless be fully
discussed at the meeting on the goth
and some plan will be evolved that
will give assurance that our roads will
be greatly improved. Let US hope
so at least and give the meeting our
encouragement and endorsement by
being present.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29
A Royal Romance.

Carmen Sylvia, the royal authoress.
met her husband. the king of Rouma-
MIA, in quite romantic way. AS a
girl of seventeen she was running down
the staircase Of the palace at Berlin
when her foot slipped on the marble,
and she would have fallen to the floor
below, but at the moment Prince
Charles Of HohenZollern stepped from
an anteroom and caught her in his
arms. She did not accept him. although
he made her the offer at once. In joke
10: it was then most unlikely-she
sa., she preferred to remain queen Of
herself, but if she became queen Of any
country at all she would prefer Rou-
mania. Eight years afterward the
beautiful Carmen was married to
Prince Charles. who had been proclaim
ed king of Roumania. and thus she re-
allied her ambition.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29
When Water Was Avoided.

Until comparatively recent times
there was a medical prejudice against
drinking water. Sir William Vaughan
in his Natural and Artificial Direc-
tons For Health" declared that water
fought seldom to be drunk" Another
doctor admitted that it might be
healthful for children, but not for men
-"except some odd, abStcmious one
among a thousand perchance, degen-
crate and of doggish nature, for dogs
Of nature do abhor wine" Indeed, the
recommendation Of water as a bever-
age was supposed to be the sign Of the
quack. Even Wesley in his primitive
Physic" wrote of it with caution:
Drink only water if it agrees with
your stomach; if not. good, clear small
beer"
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29
A Queer Dog.

Dagonet in the Referee tells story
Of two little girls who were trying to
explain what sort Of a dog it was they
had seen. Said one little girl. 1T was
one Of those funny ones; you know, the
ones that are dog. and half long and
half q dog high" Said the other: You
must know the sort. It's a dog that
only has four legs, but looks as if it
ought to have six" 1t may interest
Dagonet to hear Of fairly apt defini-
ton that Public Opinion man once
heard applied to the dachshund-"the
dog with the Louis XIV. legs"
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29
Cures Blood Poison,
Cancer, Ulcers, Eczema, CarbuncIes,
Etc, Medicine Free,

Cancer, Ulcers, Eczema, CarbuncIes,
Etc. Medicine Free.
If you have offensive pimples or
eruptions, ulcers on any part of the
body, aching bones or joints, falling
hair, mucous patches, swollen glands,
skin itches and burns, sore lips or
gums, eating, fostering soree, sharp,
gnawipg pains, then you suffer from
serious blood poison or the beginnings
of deadly cancer. You may be per-
manently cured by taking Botanic
Blood Balm (B. B. B made especial
ly to cure the worst blood and skin
diseases. It kills the poison in the
blood thereby giving healthy olood
supply to the effected parts, heals
every sore or ulcer, even deadly can
Ger, stops al aches and pains and re-
duces all sweIlings. Botanic Blood
Balm cures all malignant blood
troubles ach as eczema, scabs and
scales, pimples, running sores, car
buncles, scrofuls, etc. Especially ad-
vised for all obstinate cases that have
reached the second or third stage.
Druggists, 81. To prove it cures,
sample of Blood Balm sent free and
prepaid by writing Blood Balm Co.,
Atlanta, Ga. Describe trouble and
free medical advice sent in sealed
letter.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29
The Appetite Of Kitty.

The number of wild animals sold as
pets to private families in this country
IS said to be beyond belief, but the
families generally return the beasts
before long to the dealer. A writer on
this wild beast traffic in Leslie's
Monthly says that one animal dealer
who recently sold lion cub to lady
received only two months afterWard 4
letter from her saying: please come
and take Kitty away. She has eaten
our Newfoundland dog"
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29
Hit EN- Again.

Senator Tlllman Monday night, st
Madison, Wis, matched his wit and
sarcasm against the legal mind and
western manners of Senator J. R.
Burton, of Kansas, in joint debate
on the negro question.
'sSenator Tillman said the people
of the North were as bad as those OF
the South in their handling Of the
Degroes who committed 'unepeakable
crimes when a negro up here
shows the outcroppipgs of the in
stincts of his inferior race said
Senator Tillman, you mob, string,
lynch, burn and outrage humanity
with him. It makes a mighty big
difference whose family is struck,
whose home is entered, whose wife
or daughter is the victim. You men
in the North are not slow to act
when your women are outraged, and
I want to say you are men to do it
IF you had as many niggers as
We have in South Carolina you would
feel as I do, and your people would
not sustain your snti-nigger senators
as my people sustain me"
''The fiery Southern Senator, says
the correspondent to the News and
Courier, was unpopular at first with
the audience Of 5000 people, but at
the close of the debate the impress
sion seemed to prevail that he had
the better of the argument"
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29
A PART OF THE PLAY.
Kissing That Brought Some EussinR
Actors to Il Prison Cell.

Kissing That Brought Some EussiaR
Actors to n Prison Cell.
The course of true art does not al
ways run smooth in Russia. IS. for ex-
ample in the theatcr of Ielizavetgrad.
In the fourth act Of q certain play there
is a tEeater within a theater. as in
Shakespeare's Hamlet" only that
some Of the dramatiS persona have to
mix with the public in the galleries
and to hiss the chief actress, who duly
faints. AS soon as the gentlemen had
taken their places among the gods and
begun to hiss and whistle tic police
lnan on duty came down upon them
like wolf on the fold, and before they
could utter word of explanation he
and his colleagues "nabbcd' two, re-
luC ed them by force and took them to
the next police station, where they
were charged with disorderly conduct
ut public place. They protested that
they had only done their duty. but the
police laughed their eXplana.. rs to
scorn. The public left the theater en-
IGaSSe 10 see Wuttl WAS HdppSlllllS ~ li1e
actors, but the latter had already been
consigned to the cells. The crowd in
the street before the station house grew
rapidly in numbers, and its noisy
protests threatened to culminate in Sc
rious disorders. Fortunately, the man.
ager of the theater appeared before the
superintendent and by the light of a
lamp declaimed, with manuscript in
hand. the whole fourth act. in order to
show that kissing was an essential part
Of tie performance. Only then did the
representatives of the law release the
innocent actors.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29

Mrs. M. J. Danley, Treasurer Of the
Rebecca Lodge, I. o. O. F., writes from
l24 First street, n, Minneapolis, Mimi:
"I was afflicted for several years with
kidney trouble which became quite SER
ious and caused me considerable anxiety.
I spent hundreds of dollars trying to
be cured, but nothing gave me any
permanent relief until I tried Peruna.
1t took less than three months and
only ten bottles to effect q permanent
cure, but they were worth more than as
many hundred dollars to me. lam July
restored to health, know neither ache
nor pain and enjoy life."-Mrs. M. J.
Danley.
This experience has been repeated
many times. We hear Of such cases
nearly every day.
Mrs. Danlcy had catarrh of the kid
neys. AS soon as she took the right
remedy she made quick recovery.
A Prominent Southern Lady's Letter.
Miss Laura Hopkins, Of Washington,
D. c., niece of Hon. E. o. Hopkins, one
Of the largest iron manufacturers of
Birmingham, Ala, writes the following
letter commencing Peruna. She says:
"I can cheerfuLly recommend Peru
ma for indigestion and stomach trouble
and as q good tonic. ''-Laura Hopkins.
Peruna cures catarrh wherever located.
Peruna is specific for the catarrhal
arrangements Of women. Address The
Peruna Medicine Co., Columbus, Ohio,
for free book Oh catarrh written by DR..
S. 3. Hartman.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
ADTERiISlNa, RATES.

Regular Ad .,r 49, s+5s.: insertion, -
cents per IunI: a rslon thereafter.
so cents per vet t.',"a: notices, cents
per line earh lns.-fikpI: no local accepted
for less than % cents tor first insertion.
Obituaries. Tributes of Respect In Memo
ram. Resolutions of Respects, Cards OF
Thanks, are charged for at the rate OF one
half cent word for every word over
100. The cash must invariably accom-.
pany the copy. In sending copy count
the words and send one-half cent for
each word over one hundred. This rule
will in no case and under no circun-
stances be deviated from.
Marriage notices inserted free and are So
hcted.
Rates for contract advertising will be cheer
fully furnished on application.
ANONYMOUS communications will receive
70 attention. Rejected manuscript will
not be returned unless accompanied by
stamps for the purpose.
For any further information call on or ad-
dress.
G. NJ. HARMAN. Editor and Publisher.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29
Relief ut Last.

Man With Petition--rd like to have
your name on this. Rugglcs. 1t is a
mere forNality. you know. but
Business Man-I'd like to oblige you.
Rackstraw, but fellow came around
last week with a pledge binding the
signer not to put his name on petition
Of any kind for a year-and signed It.
Chicago Tribune.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29

The first regiment of the State
militia which has been in Columbia
for the past week, broke camp early
Sunday morning and the tents and
other equipsge were packed and sent
to Charleston for the second regi-
ment which went into camp on the
Isles of Palms this week.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29

The revenue offcers at Columbia
seized Car load of whiskey Satur-
day, believed to be consigned to a
dealer in contraband in that city.
The car contained l65 kegs, each keg
containing four and seven-eights gal
Ions and at the average cost of $3.50
per gallon would be worth about ST.
800.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29
''New County Talk. -

It seems that the proposition to cut
the grand old county of Lexington
so as to-, form new counties to suit
the fancy of those who feel them
selves sgrieved from real or fancied
causes is still on. It is 8 great mistake
in the Constitution to allow these
questions to be agitated so frequently.
The latest project on foot now is
(thrsshing old straw to take a con-
siderable portion of the lower, Edisto
part of this county, Orangeburg and
Aiken counties, to make (Wagener)
county. The Dispatch is now, as it
has always been, opposed to such a
scheme and does not propose that
one foot of Lexington's territory shall
be taken away from her without our
protest, as We know it is best for her
general interest and that of her peo-
pie to keep intact. Our information
is that the larger number of our peo-
pie residing within the territory
which it is proposed to cut off are
perfectly contented to remain just as
they are now situated and do not de-
sire change of counties, and why
create contention, strife and bitter
ness among them?
Speaking of this proposition cor
respondent in the WAGNER Record
of last week says:
For the territory above referred
to, wepropose the following boundary
subject to any alteration suggested
by the people concerned: Beginning
at Merritt's bridge on South Edisto
river, thence Two Notch road to
Jones cross road in Aiken county:
thence direct line via Steadman sta
tion to Hufman's burnt mill, on
Black crek; thence direct line to the
head of Salem branch, Qeaving Pelion
out or in according to her wishes);
thence down said branch to where it
intersects North Edisto below Wits
Mill: thence direct line to South
Edisto river near Springfield, QeaviDg
Springfield in or out according to
her wishes), then up said river to
starting point"
The territory from Lexington it is
eetimated would take about IS or 60
square miles, out of Black Creek and
Bull Swamp townships with valua-
tion of about 100000 taxable prop
erty, and voting population of be-
tween 200 and 250. We do not
know just where the proposed lines
run, or those of our citizens they
would cut off. They perhaps may
know and will act accordingly. It
is a matter for them to consider we'll
before they act.
This scheme was once overwhel-
mingly defeated and We dare say
that it will meet the same fate again
whenever test is made.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29
Mill Business Continued.

I have rented the Andrew Lorick
Flour and Grist Mills aud will run
them as usual, giving entire sstisfac
tion to my patrons from whom I So
licit patronage. j K. Swygert.
July 20, 19O3-2w3S
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-07-29

The recent troubles with the ne
groes in Indiana and Illinois have
made it too hot for them and it is
said they are returning South by the
Car loads.