The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-07-06
HE CAUGHT The CUB
Chicago Tenderfoot Gets in Trouble
by Taking Col. Wheaton's
Advice Seriously.
Sage Of Grand Rapids Tells More
Of His Troubles With
Greenhorus.

Don't you never tell tenderfoot sarcastic to 4
do nothin'. Fer wen he gifts into a pinch he's
sure to remember what you told him, you not
thinkin' he'd think you meant it, an do it,
too, an put it all over you adoin' 1t, you bet
your neck.--Philosophy Of Colonel Wheaton.
The small boys out on the streets We're
enjoying foretaste Of the saturnalia Of
joy that comes to them every Fourth, and
in consequence had the street to them
selves, when the colonel strobe into the
Pokegama lobby, DOTTED his sombrero,
took a seat in the midst of the usual gang
to be found Of evenings in that hosiery.
and stratghtway "butted- into,' and as
sumed the conversation going, on.
Say" he began, "d'you know what
them kids a poppin' off shootin' crackers
outside reminds me Of? Course not, you
don't. But I'll tell you. They minds
me Of the doggondest Fourth of July ever
see. An I'll bet none O. you ever see
funnier one. It was way back in the
old days fore such guys $ you ducks was
in this country, an it was jest a land
a-fowin' with milk an honey like them
lsr'elites lit onto after they forded the
Red sea IN got inter the promised lam.
Tho how; they could live on sech a; sweet
ened mess is sure too many fer me- But
they must have done it, fer the Bible says
so. tss.
well, them times you could ketch a
boat load O. bass right out on the aidge
O. town any time you wanted 'em, m
deer was a frolickin roun' everywhere,
moose was no trick at all, an bears was
sociable 'nough to come into the back door
to see what they could swipe any time
you'd leave it open
Well bout them times up comes a guy
from Chicago, an wants to put in a quiet
Fourth a-f1shin', and nat'ral he butts up
ag1n me to take him out som 'ers. He
had kid bout 10 or IL years old longer
him, an the kid had a, dog, little cuss
o. no pa1tickler breed, jes' dog, bout 8
pig s a pint o cider, but with bark on
him bigger'n both Bill Nisbett's Great
Danes could raise between 'em. :, This
chicago man had a trunk made O. purpose
chock full O. rods, an tackle 'nough to
start a sportin' goods store, n, he'd let
the blame kid fetch along about a ton O.
all kinds o. fireworks, on promise that
ne wouldn't shoot a one. Of 'em off fore
the Fourth come, m he was away off
yander out in the woods. ~, =
well hitched up. slung NV old ho. .
cart on behind the wagon, an liked fer
ola Sandy McDougaFs place. Old Sandy
lved way up. Prairie, bout where TONY
DWyer had his headquarter camp las win
ter n the timber up there hadn't had
an AK in 1t then, ner the lakes a line.
ceptln old Sandy might ketch a. fish now
then, which he done mighty seldom,
1lndln' 1T heap easier to let his soua v
| make gill net, m ketch all they wanted
that away. But old Sandy put up some ice
cry winter, inf a teller was white. m
| fetched some good whisky long. there
| wasn't no better place nowhere. to &c
| ahunt1n' er fishin' than his'n M a. fel.
Ter fetched Scotch whisky m could tall
bout. Burns, Sandy'd give him his whole
place, n, want to fight f he offered tc
pay wen he left
i#WeA, we got UP, there, an INV !; mar !,
NJ Sandy claimed Kin fore we'd beer
there an hour. The 7Chfca 20 man ahaf
some whisky he called the barley brea
II l member right; N first off he handed
the bottle to Sandy, n N less'n nc; tim,
l:they was thicker'n thieves Them tv,t
set up an night a talkin' bout Our Boz,
lam O'Shanter,. Holy Willie m a Who'll,
/ lot more furriners, m las thing I rernen.
per was hearin' the Chicago sport talk
lnHtpo' try fore went asleep.
Least'ways, think it was potrv. hi,
Kin remember right now bout What h,
SAID, n u couldn't make no sense of II
put ne said that Bob said it, m that SET
tied 1T. It went like this:
T. 80 here's hand, my trusty fire, II,
| An gle us un O. thine; :
i wen take right gud ewillywaut
i For Aud Lang Syne $3.50
NOW wouldn't that kill you? Beat,
TOUR OF. kind what kind O. CUFF whiskv'l
make a man talk, don't it." o'
We'll. got my man flshin' neg, nnorn
In, n ne was soon a ketchin' nicLs,n
inuSkles longern be, m a flxfn' IN that
ileaus TO take home with him. Wouldn,
ketch any more bass than he wanted r
: ~ allers let any sharp-nose less'1
., 1901 long go, cause he said it wa
quallty he was AFTER m he wol,jdn,
stand fer nothin' else He Wouldn't 10 =,
me fetch no rifle when we come o,,t
nuther. Said he respected the law ;,
SAT- meat n f1sh was good 'nough fer hin
Ter the time w'd be out, f he couldn't ee
notnln else. But he ct moose ali FL
whlle' n lowed it was the tenderest hae
as,a esel put a tooth in, m never di
nnd out he; knowed the difference
But that kid O. his'n had a bully tin,<
went flshin' with sandy's kids ey,rv da1
II smashed bout ev'ry rod tip the old mo
mao, n los overheard a $75 rod ~ ree
to-poot. But his father never kicked ~
guess he had stuff to burn. Wen
come the FOURTH, N we was eoin' +
, 49, pass enough fer him to show whe
we got back to town, m at night he wa
go1n to shoot off the fireworks ~, y, ~,
mornln we was goin' to pull out. 50 -
we went after bass bout o'clock =, ~
afternoon. We ketched bout a doza-, ~ ~
= ones m then the kid drapped the fro
! pox overheard. n open at that ~, ~,
al the frogs got took in by FISH, ,fora =,
9 could pick EN- up. ~
Ihen we put out to a little boe rio,
:, across from Sandy's house, which sto1
on the lake bank not .more'n twentv ~
from where we landed, m went to ~
IN frogs. They was. scarce. N, tha =
man n the kid soon got tired. ~, We,
PACK to the boat, leavin' me a;oho 81
r the hoppers. The kid had that fool DO
n ms along, m pretty soon I heerd r.
n parkln like he'd freed somethin, N, ~
r heard the old man m kid both VOL !,
proke over to see what'n'e ell was IN I.
q An there Wasa bear cub with his r..
STUCK IN our lunch basket, m blinded -
e ne couldn't see nothin', m the Iittle =,
e Jumpln round him. m nippin, him :.
r over. Chicago yells at me: WAN
e 40, Mr.. Wheaton, what'll doo MT w,
It pack Kick off the dog, m ketch the ~,
n course never thought he'd try 80
= seem any man might know the ala IL,
o was close by, but he did, or tried - "a,
II &C lilly got holt o. the cub. ~, -,
II come the old one afrothin' at the ,,n,,.
nother cub at her heels. she'd ~
: aoWn IN the boat that was hid hy J = =
e rock. swipin our fish, M the cnh !.
+ sneaKed the lunch basket as his on,,, ~,
gra1t, NJ got his head fast. she sa
Gmcago aholt of the cub m ma de ~, .is
fer him. ue rls
= jumped In m, grabbed his arm
Inc way l run him fer that swarm 7 |
10 ne never run before ner since. The u