The National tribune., 1903-04-09

the Chiefs of Division under whose direc-
ton the letters are prepared, for their cor
rectness.
One Postmaster-General started in with
a determination to read and understand
every letter before signing it. The second
day the venerable colored messenger
brought the usual large bundle of letters
to be signed. 1t was pile of typewriter
2 epistles eight or 10 inches thick. The
messenger placed them on the desk, and,
with a blotting pad in hand, stood waiting
for the signature.
The first letter was a long one on topic
with which the new Postmaster General
was not familiar, and so formal, legal and
involved that one reading did not make
its meaning clear. He hesitated, wrinkled
, his forhead and unused to himself:
''What's this all about, anyway? It's all
news to me- l don't know whether ap-
prove of the things it says or not. l
can't make head or tail out of it. 1 don't
know whether it's good thing or not"
The old messenger, standing with blot
ting pad raised, leaned over and placed
his fore6nger on the space at the end of
the last page and answered: "Well,
neither do I; but you sign your name
there" And he signed.
The financial transactions of the United
States postal system for the current year
will average more than 100000 each
business day.
+. Europe has known the rural delivery
service for many years, and it has there
reached very high stage of development,
: giving to the people unequaled postal
5 facilities. Its struggle to get a foothold
in this country was but the struggle of
: every advanced idea to take root in I'M
plowed ground. 1t had hard birth, and,
in fact, there was imminent danger at
one time that false prophets would stifie
it.
The principle seems to have prevailed
thus far in postal affairs that when mail
is to be handled piece by piece, salaried
employees are to be provided, while in
cases where it is handled in bulk it may
be done by contract let to competitive
bidders.
A probability is something that may
possibly happen; a certainty is something
that almost never fails. The safe delivery
of matter entrusted to the United States
mails is as nearly certain as anything ex-
posed to the course of human events can
Selecting names for new post-offices is
often embarrassing to the Department Of
fcials. Many names submitted are I'M
dCCtpldDle uIutE Tic ~ was
found that the name given in a petition
from the mountains of West Virginia was
inadmissible, and the petitioners neglected
to send in another. A clerk in the Depart
ment was directed to establish the Office
with name of his own choosing. Ex-
amining a map of the region he found a
creek called "Purgatory," and thought
that designation would suit, especially as
1t was a mining settlement where, pre-
sumably, prayer is only invoked as an
emergency ration. The name, was ap-
piled and nobody objected. Appropriately
enough, the name Of the first Postmaster
was John Hellmaker. $3.50. -,
A widespread sensation was caused
some years since by the publfcatfon Of
issue of postal cards for ladies,
to be Of delicate tiHtss nnd variously
scented; also that postage stamps were to
be gummed with mucilage favored with
favorite sirups. Floods of inquiries for
details came to the Department, and great
disappointment resulted from the discov-
cry that the report was false.
) Postmasters are forbidden to give ad-
dresses or furnish lists Of persons receiy-
Ing mail at their Offices.
American nomenclature is reverend
Ing source of amusement and surprise to
foreigners. When the only Sarah Bern
hardt was over here she could hardly be-
lieve there was such place as Kalama-
zoo. And yet many curious names which,
for freak or other reasons, are used to
name post-ofices would shock, to say the
least, many of our foreign cousins. A few
OF them-such as Walla Walla, Kanka-
kee, Oshkosh; A, 3, G.; Dull, Leap Year,
Limbs, Only. U Bet, Calf Killer, Al,
Bird in Hand, Bundle Bee, Chrome, Conf
eol .,a
Heaven Credit, Yuba Dam, Funny Louis,
Looneyrille. o. K, Nine Times, Not,
Overalls. Moral, O.: T., Pay Up, Rabbit
Hash, Rapture, Shoe Fly, Short Off.
Sleepy Eye, Sober Pa, Jug-town, Why
Not, Tin Cup. Wake-Ur, Waterproof,
Total Wreck. Useful, Useless and Squire
sim-show that we do not lack novelty,
and it's all in name.
at has been repeatedly demonstrated"
writes Brooke Fisher in the Atlantic
Monthly. that the true cause Of the So
called deficit in the Post-ofiice Department
is but the disadvantageous contracts made
with the railroads for carrying the mails"
"A letter bearing the picture Of an eagle
and no other image or superscription ex-
cept Washington, D. c." was delivered
to Representative De Graffenried, of
Texas, who modestly admitted the appro-
priateness Of the address. Another letter,
which came during recess of Congress,
simply addressed to "The House of Rep
resentatiyes. Washington, d. Co." was for
warded to Congressman Scott, of Kansas
One enterprising genius arrested for
fraudulent use of the mails had advertised
to sell silk rennants"-a certain number
of yards for one dollar Hundreds re-
sponded with the cash, but received silk
thread instead of the silk cloth they had
expected.
Ignorance Of postal regulations makes
humorous incidents Of everyday occur
renee. Occasionally a customer tries to
slew down" the Postmaster on the price
Of stamped envelopes. Failing in this, he
threatens to bestow his patronage else
where and departs with bitter feeling
for Postmasters ard millionaires, term
which, though regarded as synonymous By
him, are often widely divergent
The use OF our mails for transporting
merchandise goes far enough under exist
Ing laws. 1t is carried on at loss, and,
therefore, TO the injury of the service
The postal system was not created for
either banking or q general freighting
business.