Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-10-28
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| She neutrality-suspicious. we were
married you used to say you couldn't
live without me. He-A man never
knows what he can do till he tries
Life.
Caller-Your sister is long time
making her appearance, Johnny.
Johnny-Yes; she's got to make II, OF
course. fore she comes down.--Ohf-
cago Tribune.
His failure: do you know anything
about alrting?". NO. lie replied,
sadly; 81 thought did, but when !
tried 1t, hanged If the girl didn't
marry me."-Chicago Post.
Doctor-Ah! out for constitutional
She-Yes; 1 walk two miles before
breakfast every morning for my COM
plexlon. Doctor-Is the drug store 20
far at that.-London Taller.
Friend-Edlth married for money
didn't she? Clara-No indeed! He IL
rich, but she is dreadfully in love with
him. Why when he comes In late,
she Just sits and scolds him by the
hour.
Fond Mother (who sure the Wis
itor would like to hear her infant
prodigy on the violin) Is 20
far advanced that now we can almost
tell whether he Is tuning or playing
Punch.
His guess: We'll. think made
an impression on her anyway" said
the automobile enthusiast. as he
glanced back at the fair young woman
lying in the road.-Chicago Record
Herald
One Thing Left-"There doesn't seem
to be anything that he can do" "oh,
I don't know. He's failed at every
thing else, but he might run the ad-
vice column in family magazine"
Chicago Post.
And 1t swallowed the hook: 80 you
caught catfish that weighed %
ponnds?' Hook and all, that wus
Its weight" Hook and all?" yep;
the hook was using weighed 81
pounds. indianapolis Sun.
visitor-You are the editor? Well,
want to speak 10 you about my
daughter She writes poetry, sir; and.
she's only IA years old! Editor-Oh,
well, wouldn't worry. She'll outsrow
1t, perhaps Boston Transcript.
The visitor-Why are you here. my
misguided friend? The prisoner-I'm
the victim of the unlucky number.
thirteen. The visitor-Indeed; how's
that? The prisoner-Twelve jurors
and one judge.-Sportdng Times
Medium lat spirltualistic .seance)--
Is Mr.. Keezlcks present? His deceas-
ed wife wishes to communicate with
him. Mr.. keezicks I'm an agitated
voice)-Tell her I'd rather not. I'm
married again.-Chicag Tribune.
81 am afraid" said the very wealthy
young woman 10 the titled wooer.
that our ideals differ" I'm what
way? 81 should like to be loved for
my own sake. while you expect to be
loved for the sake of your family
Washington Star.
A useful attache: "Why should
give this man position" said the Sui
tan of Turkey. Because he may be
very useful In an emergency" answer
ed the grand vizier; "he knows how
to say We apologize in every modern
langua sc. "-WashingtqA Star. /,
| yisitor-You haven't got half as nice
a cemetery here rs we have in Elm.
Vile. Prominent citizen (of Howvillel
NO. I've always heard that the Gem
etery is the only part of our town that
holds out any inducements for per
manent residents.-Chicago Tribune.
"Fine, wasn't it?' exclaimed Clti-
man, after the trombone soloist had
finished his star performance; ..that
was clever, eh?" "Oh. shucks,' re-
piled the Aiilpitas country cousin; "hs
didn't fool me little bit. That's one
o. them trick horns. He didn't really
swaller tx
Promoters of courage: spartacus-
Women are great incentive to manly
courage. Smarticus = That's right.
Since I've been married and had few
tits with my wife. the prospect of a
scrap with the meanest man on earth
seems like mere child's play to me.
Baltimore American.
Lady (who was on visit to her ma
tive town)-How is Mrs. Gabb;
haven't seen her in a long time? Hos
tess--She is having her usual ups and
down. Lady Yisitor-And what may
that be, l pray? Hostess-Oh, rum
ming up bills and running down her
ENTHUSIASTICALLY Life.
Glass amusements: Don't you think
the amusemcnts of many society peo-
pie are very nonsenslcal?" Some
times" answered Miss Cayenne, ..but
not MS nonsensical as the amusements
of those people who amuse themselves
by imagining how society people
amuse themselves" Washington Star.
Miss FERTILE met you at the beach
this summer. Miss Ann Teek-Yes.
just heard him telling you about It.
Didn't hear him say also that was
not frivolous like the other girls he
met here? Miss Pert--Not exactly.
He said you were mot frivolous like
the girls he met there Philadelphia
Press.
One OF the detectives came hurry
ing. "Chief." he said. I'VE are on the
wrong scent. The man we supposed
was murdered has turned up alive"
ut can't be possible" sternly answer.
ed the chief; "the fellow we've had In
the sweatbox for the last two or three
days has just confessed that he muir
dered him"
Medical Students Galore.
The number of medical students in
the United States for the last college
year was 27.G15. OF this number "a
900 were at the regular schools. 1.498
at the homeopathic, S4S at the, eclectic