Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-09-26

ton that battery is using" | went anc
picked up the shell, which was a six,
pound. spherical case, and the general
examined it as coolly as if there was
not an enemy's gun within hundred
miles of him.
\ Wartime Hunorist.
One day in 1863 there came down
10 the front recruit with a grin on
his face and chuckle in his throat
and he had hardly been turned over
TO the 3rd regiment when he put his
hands TO his sides and began laugh
ing. He laughed like man who was
tickled to death. His face got red as
paint. tears ran from his eyes and he
seemed about TO choke. when a ser
gcanf gave him a kick to straighten
him up and Indignantly demanded:
Now, then, what sort of a blamed
fool are you. and what are you laugh
Ing at?''
Its SO funny-its so funny" gasp
ed the man. as he went off into an
ether fit of laughter.
W mats so funny
Nv by, my being down here, A
week ago | was hoeing corn on the
farm-ha, ha, ha"'
The sergeant said he'd be hanged
if he could see where the laugh came
In. nor could any of the rest of us.
but II was half an hour before James
Thurston could sober up his face.
That was his debut. Within three
days he had every man in the com
pany. officers included. down on him
for being a laughing man. His face
was in repose only when he slept.
The rest of the time II wore broad
grin, and the most trfiing thing
brought a laugh, He was too good
natrred. He had such. a guffaw of a
laugh that he disturbed everybody I'm
tie company when he started in. They
called him names and he laughed.
They threatened him and he laughed
the harder. He was kicked and cuffed
and he roared "Ha, la. ha" till men
came running from other companies.
We finally demanded that the captain
suppress him and that officer called
him up and began;
Look here, Thurston, what is all
this nonsense aboutY'
What nonsense, sir?" asked the re-
cruit. with grin
why, your laughing so much.
What do YOU see TO tickle your"
Lots of things, captain-ha . ha. ha!'
shouted Thurston, as he got brace on
his ribs. 1T seems so queer not to
be milking the cows and feeding the
hogs and helping dad off with his
boots"
And you laugh about that, do
your"
yes and l can't help it-ha ha,
ha,'
Well, you come mighty near be-
ing fool"' exclaimed the captain, as
the gufraw died away into gurgle.
But | don't see why" answered
Thurston, trying his best to look seri-
Gus for n minute. when ! think OF
hocing corn. painting the barn, wash.
ing sheep and whitewashing the cellar.
and then look around me here and
see a lot of soldiers and tents ana
mules. why, ] have tO-ha, ha. ha -
But if7Hou don't stop II I'll send
you to the guardlouse 1t Is disresuect
to your officers, and the men don't like
1t. We get braying enough from the
mules"
ia stop II, captain, if only could,
but Il can't-can't do"
The captain ordered him out Of the
tent and into the guardhouse. He was
probably the only soldier In any army
who was ever punished for laughing.
He was hardly under arrest when il
struck him rs funny that he should
be in the guardhouse down AT the
front instead of chopping out weeds
IN cornfeld up IN Connecticut. and
he laughed until the indignant captain
ordered Il gag placed In his mouth.
He didn't laugh any more for five or
six hours, hut his guards insisted that
AiA' iA'' WHY ~ Siil an inc IIItig-
as much Of a grin as could be worked
up under the circumstances.
Thurston served for six months and
laughed day and night. and nothing
could check him. Then the men of the
company drew up petition and his
captain went TO the coloupl. and one
day the mans discharge papers arriv-
ed. They read for general disability"
hut as 4 matter Of fact he was turned
out of the army for laughing. He
knew il ms well ms anybody else. and
he seized upon it as a pretext for one
of his loudest and longest outlaws.
1T r. so funny" he said, as he was
ready to go. only yesterday was n
soldier in the army, and to-day | am
a citizen and on my way back to old
Connecticut TO milk cows and feed
the hogs agaln--ha, ha, ha"'
And he roared and gasped and
gurgled, and we heard the bray until
he had put n full mile between us and
left us to fight out the war on other
lines
Knew the Pattern