davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
Old Friends.

Barker-Come over here, old man,
I want to introduce you to my wife.
Parker-Oh. 1 know Mrs. Barker
already. We were engaged for three
months in the summer of 1s94.-Som-
eryille Journal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
Natural Enough.

Mrs. Gaddie-They haih't got many
fixtures in their house.
Mrs. Kromo-I didn't 'spose they
had. Why, she told me they don't
never buy no tea at all; don't use 1T.
philadelphia Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
Time Tables.

passencer-This train is nearly one
hour behind time. is it not?
nrord-Yes. But that's all right
Wen get in in the usual time;
passenger-What time is that?
crdSTwo hours late.-Tit-Bits.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
Preferred to ne Alive.

Cholly-Charming widow, isn't she!
They say sac is to marry again.
Algy-I wouldn't want to te = widows
second husband.
"Well, Ia rather be widows second
husband than her first, doncherknow.
London Tit-Bits.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
CoIoriue sax Coc0ons,

It is found that silk cocoons can be
given any color by coloring the leaves
upon which the silkworm feeds.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken Of
- Z cough cure. w. OBrien, 322 Third
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

What do you put on your lace alter
shavlngw asked the man who smelled of
bay rum. Court plaster, usually" re-
piled the nervous chap, gloomily.
natl Commercial Gazette.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
u.rA ON Baldheads.

pocon-Do you believe that death
'o Egbert-Certainly I do; just 49,. see
hov many bald-headed men dle!-
-y..Lers Statesman.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

Cant l serve you some nice curried
eggs this morning, sir?" asked the OBJ
sequious waiter.
"Curried eggs?" repeated the guest.
''What have struck mares nest:"-
Judge.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
Caution.

Caution.
"What!" cried the chief OF detec-
tiyes, "you say the man you saw had
on the regulation striped suit?'
.Yes, SIR" replied the new sleuth.
"Why didn't you arrest him. then !:
Couldn't you see he was the escaped
convict we're after?"
20! but you know, you can't always
Judge man by his clothes '-Phlla-
delphia Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

Funny thing about self-made men."
whats that" They never have
daughters who care for self-made dresses"
-Pniladelphia Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

If you will not lend love you cannot Dor
row any.-Ram's Horn.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
What uncl. Reuben Says,

1t was Deacon White, Of our church,
who was gwine to sell his mewl an send
de price to de benighted heather OF Africa,
but he was saved de trubble by some be-
nighted heather of America stealth de ami.
NAL an a wheelbarrer 70 boot.-Detross
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
r.,,,.ued In Our Next.

n;nwit-say, our backbones arc LIKE
81 stories, aren't they:
Thinwit-Prove it.
Dinwit-Continued IN our necks.-
harvard Lampoon.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

Every one desires to live long, but NO one
would be old-SWift
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

The man who makes 4 mountain out OF
molehill will never reach the top
Town Topics.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

Dolly Dimple-I read to-day that
the men outnumber the fair sex
SC greatly in South Africa that they
are considering importing shipload
of women.
Won Benedict-Oh! They're used
to war down there, I suppose.-Chi-
cago Chronicle.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

Kind Lady-So you were in one
place three years? Why did you
leave?
Tramp wuz pardoned, ma'am.-
Chicago Journal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

I find nonsense lngularly refreshing-
Talleyrapd
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
A Fair Field.

GI never saw man with such nead
for business" said the first fly.
.smart, is hep" queried the other.
"Ot mean for our business. He's SO
rarv bald-headed." - Philadelphia
Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
Precious Girls.

BeryIfes, I know the count = very
sincere in his attentions to me. How
can you say he 10 trifer?
sibyl-I know that he loves you, dear
and that is why l cay he pays undue at
tention to trifes-Baltimore Herald.
Always look for this Trade Mark: "The
Klean, kool Kitchen Kind" The Stoves
without smoke, ashes or heat. Make COM
Portable cooking
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

Putnam Fadeless Dyes color Silk, Wool
and Cotton at one boiling.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
To Cure q Cold IN One Day.

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets All
druggists refund money if it fails to cure. 25c
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
Poor Mr.. Beach.

heien, aged five, is quaint child,
VINO spends much time chatting with
the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Beach,
who has no children.
10 you have family prayers before
breakfast, Mrs. Beach?"
NO" responded that lady.
Do you have family prayers after
breakfast"
mo"
with an uplifted admonitory finger,
she asked: Cant Mr.. Beach pray?"
-Woman's Home Companion.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

Promptness il the soul Of business Ches.
terrified.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
A Pertinent Query.

81 will show YOU said the get-rlch'
quick man, chow to make a hundred
thousand dollars"
do you really know how it can be
done?" asked the unsophisticated one
Sure"
''Then why don't you make it fol
yourself, instead of passing the good
thing out to me?"
For, after all, the unsophistlcated
one had pretty good head on him.
Brooklyn Eagle.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

The Absent-Minded Snake.
A snake with bright yellow spot
Once tied himself up in knot.
When asked: why is this?'
He replied. with hiss:
THAT errand must not be forgot.
columbus Dispatch.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

Model Of Economy.
think the most penurious man !
ever knew" remarked the man in the
macintosh, twas old Hewligus. He
smoked his cigars to the last half
inch. chewed the stumps, and used
the ashes for snuff But he wasn't
satisfied even then, and gave up the
habit"
What for?" asked the man with
the big Adams apple.
He couldn't think of any way to
Utilize the smoke" -Tit-Bits.
Musical Home.
Are there any musicians in your
family?"
"One-my daughter"
What does she play on?'
"on Mondays, Tuesday, Wednesdays
Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and
Sundays. m. and p. m"
Gracious! She doesn't take much
rest. does she?''
No. and she doesn't give anybody
else much. kansas City Journal.
Fate of a Coward.
"Don't you kiss mel" she cried, as she
sprang from his side.
why. had no such thought" answered
he
Now. forgive him she could had he kissed
her-and would
But to say the temptation he'd calmly with
stood
Was too much, so che SHOOK" him, you
See
Philadelphia Bulletin.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

Silence il sometimes the severest criticism.
Buxton.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16
He-You said once you loved me
more than anything else in the world.
She-But that, my dear, was before
| found Fido.-Chicago Chronicle.
No Kicking.

The patient filters job does not
With envy fire my blood;
II works without salary,
And all it eats is mud.
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-28

r p. .
"A. committee with this. end in view.
consisting. of Il. H. Harrington of
Hutchinson, W. r. Hodges Of Sleepy
Eye and R. w. Rankin of Minneap-
oils, and State Superintendent Olson
was appointed. ::
Special efforts have been made
this. season to insure the attendance,
of the major part of the rural school
teachers Of the state at the December
800 who have never been at any of
the previous meetings will attend and
that the whole number present will
be about 2,500. The Central Presby-
terrain church III st. Paul will be, as
heretofore, the headquarters and the
several sections will meet at other
places in the vicinity. There are thir-
teen in all. The first: general session
takes place Non the ,28th. at which
Governor Van SAINT and Mayor Smith
will speak and. President e. E. Nc
Intyre, of Crookston will respond. That
evening there will be. All informal re-
ception at the Commercial club to the
city superintendents, county superin-
tendents, graded school superinten-
boards. Light refreshments will be
29tlf, Bishop Spaulding of Peoria will
lecture atgCentraf church and among
the speakers on Wednesday AFTERNOON
will be the editor of the Little Chron-
icle ofi Chicago. 2:
State Senator Somn1ervilfe will. adj
dress the TEACHERS on some eduea-
tional topic and State Senator john
Uses. and Abuses OF Public Funds
for EDUCATIONAL Purposes. y Congress
man J. H. TawI1ey will also, deliver an
address, :
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-28

that it viii do this they offer full Ten Days.
Trial Treatment to every man sending name
and address to Dr.. Stevens & Co, Box 1880.
apply it locally to the seat Of the trouble. and it
quickly finds it's way to the desired spot. en-
larging the muscles, increasing the nerve force
and giving. the necessary vim and energy. The
world OF science and medicine thoroughly in
dorse 1t.
1t cures in wonderfully quick time, in your
own home, lost vitality, emacfation. prematurity,
varicocele, structure, unnatural irritation, and
enlargement of the prostate gland. and all blad
der and urinary disorders OF men. 1t is the
only method known to science that will electrifyl
the body, ront wasting diseases, create yieor,
warmth: and force. and all this without medicine
taken into the stomach. If others tell you
nothing can be done for you, this will surely
cure you =
write to DR.. Stevens & Co., Columbus, Ohio
box 1889. They offer Ten Days Trial Treat
nsns t. every INA 3 Its prsserigtien
is too large to resort to such petty ways. They
send the most complete book ever written on the
Diseases OF Men, telling all, and fully Illus,
trateds with forty engravings from life. Every
thing Is confidential. and sent perfectly plain
and since they merely ask you to inquire what
they have got that will cure you we trust every
gentleman reader of this paper viii write them
at once above. aud thus get the Ten DAYS.
Trial Treatment and book.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-28
OMAHA RATE STANDS
Mr.. Trickett Is in Error-The O.. G.
T. Co.'s Officers.

MI. .lEIGhcCI Is ID -ErfOf-1ne ~. IT,.
T. Co.'s Officers.
Commissioner. Triekett upon his re-
turn to Kansas City reported that:M
Stickney had practically promised to
withdraw the: Omaha < proportional
grain rates. Au official of the road
says: :, We have not thought of taxi
ing away the advantage we have. given
Omaha. I know nothing of any
promise or even intimation that the
Omaha rates will not stand. do not
believe there will be any interference
with Omaha's proportional rates.
When our new Wayerly cutoff is
completed, which will be within a few
weeks, the train service between Chi:
cago and Omaha oyer the new thru
route is established, zthe differences
that have existed between Omaha and
Kansas City will be adjusted. With
made to Chicago, which will have a,
powerful effect In quieting Kan
sas Citys claims.
A. B. stickney is president of the
new Omaha Grain Terminals COM
pany and Charles Battel is secretary
and treasurer. The directors are A.
B. Stickney, John L. McCague.
Nathan Merriam, A. G. Charlton, c..
Battell, j. M. Woolworth and w. D.
to establish and maintain grain
terminals at, Omaha and toaconduct a
general grain and milling business.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-28
A MINER RESCUED
HOW HELP GAME In A time OF
= emergency.
A Dubuque Man Was in a Situation of
Great Pain and Peril and Was
+ In1oSt Homeless.

= I'm the lead mines [ was at work
OH my knees with my elbows pressed
against rock walls. in dampness and
extremes of cold" said Mr.. j. G..
Meukel, of 1915 jackson avenue, Du-
buque, Iowa, in describing his expert
prising that I-contracted rheumatism.
For three years I had attacks affecting
the joints of my ankles, knees and ell
bows. My ankles and knees became
SO swollen I could scarcely walk on
uneven ground and a little pressure
from a stone under my feet would
cause SO much pain that would nearly
sink down. I was often obliged to lie
ins bed for several days at 9. time. My
friends who were similarly troubled
were getting no relief from doctors and
I did not feel encouraged to throw
money away for nothing. BY chance
read the story of Robert Yates of
the Klauer Manufacturing Co.. Of Du--
buque. who had a very bad case Of
Williams Pink Pills for Pale People,
the remedy he had used. In three or
four weeks after beginning to use the
pills [ was much better and i'll three
months I was we'll. The swelling Of
the joints and the tenderness disap-
peared, could work steadily and for
eight years I have had no return Of
in Dr. Williams Pink Pills. Both my
sons use them. We consider them a
household remedy that we are sure
about"
This Is convincing testimony, easily
verified, from a plain, earnest man
who knows that he has escaped the
clutches of a terrible disease and who
is profoundly grateful: and anxious to
help others.
Mr.. Meukel is a, thrifty miner. and a
well known citizen of Dubuque. No
one could imagine that he had reached
his SEVENTEEN year as he is seen going
to his daily work with vigorous step
and erect bearing. DR.. Williams Pink
Pills did more for him than simply
give relief. They eradicated the dis
ease by getting at the seat Of the
difficulty in the blood. These pills are
equally efficaeious In the treatment of
;other obstinate troubles such as loco
motor ataxia. partial paralysis, st.
Vitus' dance, sciatica, neuralgia, nerv-
Gus headache, AFTER effects Of the grip
anaenia and all forms of weakness
either In male or female. They are
sold by all druggists, or may be OBJ
tanned directly from the DR.. Williams
Medicine Co.. Schenectady, N. Y, sc
cents-a box, OF. six boxes for $3.50.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-28
Now to any sick one
DR.. Shops Restorative
Can be Taken on Trial.

For q full month will let you use it en-
tirely at my risk 49,.
Send no money. Just write me for the
book you need. When I send it I will tell
you Of a druggist near you who will per-
nit the months trial.
Csc the Restorative month Then de-
eide If YOU say to the druggist. "Tt did
not help me-" that will relieve you of any
expense whatever. He will bill the cos
TO =
This is my way of clearing your miro
of all doubts as to what DR.. Shops Re-
stora tive can do. |,.
No matter how prejudiced, you cannot
dispute this absolute security offer. " =
You cannot resist an offer like this if
you are at all sick F.
II you have a weakness. write me-
II you can't do things like you used to
do them, tell about it.
Write in confidence. AS physician /
will tell you a way to help. f. :,
Get my book now-to-day.
Book 1 Dyspepsia.
Simply state which Book 2 on the Heart.
book you want and ad- Book on the Kidneys.
dress Dr. Shoop, Box Book 4 for Women.
$3.50, Racine, Wis Book for Men, sealed
Book on Rheumatism.
Mild cases, not chronic. often cured with
one or two bottles. At druggists.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-28
BAUER. NEXT TUESDAY
Pianist VIII Be Here for Next Symphony
Orchestra. j.

Harold Bauer, fresh from triumphs in
Europe and eastern American cities, will
be here next Tuesday to assist at the
second concert Of the Minneapolis Sym
phony orchestra He Is suprenely en-
lowed, Of a musical family, and had a
career of nine years as vtolinfst: Coming
under :Paderewski's notice, he fitted him
self for the broader career of pianist.
He is to-day one of the musicians, be-
loved of other musicians for his sincerity
and true musical worth. He has mag
nif1cent technique which never becomes
obtrusive, under his guidance, being used
to express the composers musical inten-
tiens alone. Whether In England. on the
continent or in America. he has become
In the best sense OF the word a. standard
attraction at. all the greatest orchestral
concerts. The program.
Pomp and Circumstance, new No..s1,
symp henS. New World, DT E,s e
Harold Bauer and Minneapolis Symphony Or
ta) Minuetto for strings. Bolzoni
ID Dornroclen ............ ..... .. Icna1k0Hsky
(al Ballad In A Flat .-....,.s. j. Chopin
1b1 IaranteHe-. :. ). Chopin
i yS fSs r, Chopin
Harold Bauer. !.
Tickets will be on sale at the Metrepoli-
tan Music connpany's store. Fine seats are
obtainable for the whole orchestral course.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-28
RAILROADS.
! ! TO DIVERT TRAVEL
The Great Northern Seeks Share
Of Travel to. Western
Canada.

Chicago. Nov. pa meeting of the
Chicago-tWin city lines, at which the
Great was represented. has
been held to consider. a. proposition
from the Great Northern to the Chi
cago lines to, meet the second class
=. rates a now IN effect from eastern Cam
way OF the all.Canadia routes.
Owing to their higher rate. the lines
by Way Of Chicago have been unable
to get any Of that business. The Great
Northern has just made close con-
nection with. the Canadian Northern
railroad, which enables it to make as
good time to western Canada. points
In connection with the Chicago Min
neAnolis lines as by direct Canadian
lines: It believes 1T ought to have a
share ofSthe business. No definite ac-
ton was taken owing to the fear that
1t would lead to a rate war with the
Canadian lines, it being. deemed ad-
visable' first to have conferences with
the Canadian lines. and see if an
amicable adjustment cannot be made.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-28
The Illustrations for the Great journal
Special Edition.

+ Not the least important factor en-
|tering into the success of a great spe-
eial-- edition is the large amount Of
illustration required. In fact, this is
onecof the main features, and in this
instance Tfll e ourna, points with
pride to the fine half-tone plates used
turnout the issue. While h J ur-
II a /, like all other large daily papers.
has It's own engraving plant, 1t be-
comes necessary, at such a, time, to
place a considerable portion Of the
work with outside firms. The bulk
Of this overflow was placed with
the Minneapolis Engraving COM
pany. This firm, from long expe-
rienee in the newspaper line of work,
is probably better situated than any
other to get out good plates i'll the
.'rush'' time that characterizes daily
paper requirements. The two full-page
group plates-portraits of prominent
attorneysar1d; OF prominent men of the
northwest--are testimonials to the
skill of this firm in producing the
highest grade of work in "autom obile'
time. The Minneapolis Engraving COM
pany was establs. aed in 1887, and was
purchased in the fall of 1890 by Mr..
McKinstry, who conducted the bust
ness as individual owner up to the
winter of 1901, when Mr.. Q. w. Par
rott1 was taken into partnership. Mr..
PARROTS experience as foreman for
fifteen years on; the Commercial Bull
letin we'll qualities him to step into his
present position. !, Messrs. McKinstry
and Parrot being both practical
workers i'll their chosen avocation, in
sures a measure Of success In the pro-
duction of good work which it is diff
fcult: for others to equal. No order
is. too large for this firm to under
take or too difficult.
The engraving business has deveI-
oped wonderfully in the past ten years.
Possibly people generally, outside of
the newspaper or printing business, do
not appreciate fully the tremendous
strides that have been made.
The first illustrations In the New
York World were printed in 1884
Each succeeding week an illustrated
edition was gotten out and the cir
culation doomed. Other papers were
obliged to follow, until to-day it Is
estimated that ten thousand photog-
! raphers, artists and engravers are re-
quired to make the cuts for the twelve
thousand newspapers Of the United
States.
l.. Photo-engraving for commercial
purposes has revolutionized the meth
DDS of advertisers and book makers
quite as much or more than it has III
the newspaper line. Such specimens
of fine half-tone engraving as are seen
Lin the best magazines are easily dupli-
Gated by the local house, and we need
only to. point, to the last issue of the
Board of Park Commissioners Annual
| the work for which was done largely
by the Minneapolis Engraving conpa.
[ny,. to demonstrate the fact that al
good as the best work done i'll the
country can be secured in Minneapolis
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-28

farewell tours. Her successes helped
the family exchequer. but were very
hard on her voice, which might have
been ruined but for .Strakosch, who
interfered and insisted upon her giving
UP singing for two years. ;.
Patti made her operate debut in
New York at the age Of 16 in Lucia, :"
and was an immediate success. Two
years later she made her first appear
ance in London. Her preference was
for French and italian operas and she
never attempted Wagner in opera, al
tho great adnirer of the German
master, some of whose songs she has
sung in concerts. Her last regular
in opera at Covent Garden
was in 1895, when she repeated her
former triumpls. She sings often for
charity :ands gives about twenty con-
certs q year in "a. tour Of the British
isles. :.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-28
IfYou Have TheseSymptoms
Send For My Book.

II you want to feel better.
If you want more strength, X
II you lack ambition a
If YOU can't do things like you used to-,
If YOU lack confidence in yourself,
If your nerve--your courage-is leaving
you,
If YOU lack vim. vigor. vitality,
If something is eating away your con-
stitution, write to me for the book YOU
need. :. -@ =.
The book tells of my discovery Tells
how after thirty years T. found the cauSe
of the symptoms and many Others, given
above. Nas ~
The book tells how by, scientific expert
ment traced out the causes that bring
on chrenic 1isea ses. 1t tells how l per-
fected my prescription--Dr. Shops Re-
T found invariably, where there was a
weakness that the inside nerves were
weak.
Where there was a lack of vitality that
the Vital nerves lacked power.
Where weak organs were found. | al
ways found weak nerves,
Not the nerves commonly thought Of
but the vital organ nerves the inside--the
invisible nerves.
This was a revelation,
Then my real success began.
Then I combined ingredients that would
strengthen, that would Nitalize these
nerves.
That prescription called a restorative
1t Is known the world over now as DR..
Shoopis Restorative. After that'I did not
fail to cure one case i'll each hundred.
In the. extremely difficult cases. my fail
ures for Ave years We're one in each forty
treated I found cancer incurable. Can
Ger Is for surgery, not medicine.
Then how to get this prescription to the
-toI- I,
I must announce it in the public press.
But, thought !. will they realize the truth
of my, discovery--the real power Of DR..
Shops .Restorative2 Then a way came
to nne-like revelation
IT will offer 1t to the sick on trial. said
I. Then they will know l am sincere
I wrote a reliable druggist in each city
and village In America.
I got their consent to cooperate with
q,