The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-02-12
A LETTER FROM
ICHABOD CORNF|LD,
Of Smyrna, to His Son,
John, Incidentally Asks
: About "Recepshun."
Jan. the last, 19O3~

DEAR JoHN:-Your ma and me got
your letter several weeks ago, and was
mighty proud to hear from yer. Me
and her had some right pert agreements
boat some parts of it, but as usual
got the best of FER and she kept on ar
gum just to fool me, an try to make
think she want convinced The fust
thing we got to 'sputin' bout was the
headin' of you're letter. Your remem-
Der that yon started it Deer Ole GUY
erner." Now yer ma was riled consid-
cradle and sed yer was tryin' to put on
airs just because yer bought that split
tail, mammy-make-E lla-b coat
with a red ty throwed in. But tole
her like as not the papers had been
talking about yer having good job in
er soda water store and getting $18
ever month and maybe the preserdent
had decided to asst your opinyon bout
that thar reception they are talking
about so much.
BY the way, son, how many stories
high is that goldarned thing? Yer know
me and yer ma never hear much muse
'cept when someone passes as has been
over ter the settlement and John Moore
was er trying to tell US bout that
thing, but all that we knewd was that
sum folks called it "The Presidents
Judishal Resepshun." Bill Jones lowed
he didn't know 'xactly what it was, but
he heard that hit was err goin' Qter be
mighty unhealthy OH myers.
Now, John, as yer have er pretty good
job in er sody water store and got sort
er Nv er pull, just tell them folks not
to come around my place with soshal
equality, bekase I'll sic ole Tig on 'em
as sho as shootin'. Your sister, Mary
Ann, went to town t'other day an as
she was er walkin' erlong the cow path
at the side Nv the street err dog gone
Teller that never had seen 'er ner hearn
tell Nv her walked right up to FER and
axed her if she didn't want er paper.
an she sorter giggled an said she reck-
oned she did. He never had met Ter in
his life, but he was plum polite and
didn't charge but a dime beir' as it wus
her.
Well, that paper had some Nv the
blamdest things in it yer ever seed.
There was a whole lot in there bout
a fellow by the name of Teddy Rooster
felt, or sumthing like that, VINO is work
ing in McKinley's place He got after
er gang Nv cows that WINS trampin' on
er preachers pea vines t'other day an
when he gotlthrough with 'em they
signed the pledge as fur as pea vines is
consumed. If he had been round the
gap they never would hev :goDe in.
There amt no seIf-Sespecting COW that
wants to 'sociste with err man what eats
dinner with niger. Eff him an that
Dictionary I. Washington looks like
Their picters they orter latch onto err
winder shutter an er screech owl an
raise boogers.
Your brother Sammy has been visitin'
fur the last two days, but it was kinder
accidental like. Yer know Sammy had
a large Geo. II. Goat that he drives to
his sulky. Well, Sammy thought it
would be er likely idea ter ty a pack NV
them blamed fire crackers ter that
goats tail and school all the hair often
it, so as he could use it for er hat rack.
Well, he ties 'em on an the goat he
looked Ground sudden like, like he ex-
pectin' er friend ever mint an few
minits ago got er message from Nick
ajack, ten miles below here, sayin' that
streak Nv fire and HI Nv racket
went through thar, but they never was
able to tell what it was l most near
know it was Sammy and that all fired
goat.
Well, / must close and yer ma amt
nuther Nv US well. Hope you air en-
joyin the same blessing, L am
Your PA AND Ma.
P. S.-Next time yer rite lust saw
plain PA" instead of sole Guverner. .
bekaGe amt runnin' fer no office onless
mabbe l could get ter be a notorious
republic an er ex-er-fish-hola Justice
Nv the piece.
You're ma says thatll look plum swell
on er tombstone, but believe I'd lust
as leave have it on shingle.
YOUR Pa AND Ma AGAIN.
p. S. Again-Now, John, me and ver
ma has had another agreement 'bont
yer, and she is about convinced me
that you think yer air jest a leetle bet
ter than yer ole dad. Now, lemme tell
yer, son, don't yer pile on no agony
with me jest bekase yer git S1s ever,
durn month an ware er bicycle cab an
er cigaroot an er durn if-I'll-take-the-
last-lick coat; an look like er goldarned
ye!ler hammer, because if yer do Pm
going to gather enuff of them sassafras
sprouts that you did not dig up last fall
to make that self same coat Nv yourn
hunt the moon.
IcHABoD CoRNFTEID, Of Smyrna, Ga.