The daily tribune., 1903-06-20
Squaring With Cleveland.

follower of Bryan bat has now CEN
tered affections on Grover, as the fol-
lowing passionate appeal to the great
prophet woald indicate:
ooh Cleveland, our moet adorable
democratic doctor; thou who knowest
more in a minute than we. will ever
know in our lives, we come tumbling
down before the greatness this even
ing. confessing with mighty confess
that we are in a terrible bad fix.
Mighty Master. we don't hardly know
what trouble aiis us most. We con.
fess that we are afflicted in our head,
in our feet. and that we are all out
of fix in the middle. We have took
up notch after notch in our belly
bands till 10. there is nothing more to
take. We have stood under the load
of populistic oratory until we are
getting as bow-legged as a pair of pot
hooks. We have drunk Bryan's free
silver lemonade and anti-expansion
cider until our Jeffersonian blood has
about all turned to water. We have
run with the ranters and howled with
the howlers until there is hardly a
rant nor ''howl'' of us left
Great political prophet, what are we
to do? Who can be guide unto our
feet and light unto our pathway?
Grover. there are none but thee.
Thou art the only democrat that hast
been in the presidents chair in forty
years. Thou art able to give advice
unto them that will ask it; because
thou art the biggest, strongest, and
smartest democrat in all the land
tWorshipful master, we know we
have been wandering about in the bat
caves of populism, till the cob webs
Of ignorance have so enveloped us that
we don't hardly look like ourselves,
but we confess, great chief, that we
are heartily ashamed of ourselves. and
fall down at thy feet and ask thee to
kick us and then forgive us. Yes,
glorious leader, If it will make us any
better democrats sit down on us with
the weight of thy great corporosity
till our eyes stand out like bureau
nobs. We know we have been fools
for voting for free silver So kick us.
We have called thee a republican,
when we knew we were lying So
kick US some more. We declared that
your policy brought on the panic dur.
ing the administration, when every
body knew that it was caused by Gen.
Coxy's army invading this country and
threatening to lombard the capitol
at Washington. So land another kick
into our short ribs
1--WE told the people in SO that
thou vert tool of Mark Hanna.
We knew then we lied and we confess
it now. Let drive with some more
kicks. And if the place where thou
kickest us holds out we hope You will
70 ,nb
up without leaning against thy bosom
We love thee. Grover, with a stronger
and truer love than we thought we
did. Miss Organism looked young
and fair and altogether lovely and
thou vert old and tough and ugly of
and 10. we were in love
with her before we knew it. But
forgive us this time aud we won t any
more. Poke out thy little toe and let
us kiss it in token of our humility
and great love for thee. We are done
shouting for free silver. We are done
calling thee an ally OF Mark Hanna.
We are done making fools and jack
asses out of ourselves without getting
anything for it. We haven't forgot
the fat offices thou bestowed upon us
when we served thee.
80 now, grand and glorious chief,
tell us what to do. Take us back
into thy care and counsels and pour
the fire of thy Indignation upon us till
the gangrene of Organism is burned
out of our bodies. and we will only
love thee more. Hear us in these
our supplications, and we will here
after serve thy pleasure as long as
there is life enough ia us to holler