Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-10-22
AUNT HULDA'S
AMAZIN' BEAR
100000 o-O-o-O-C-S

"Sunt Hubby had some amazin'
p'ints," said the loquacious and rem
iniscent man from the Knob country.
SO had that bar. He was a genuine
speciment O. what the Knob country
could turn out in the way O. bar when
it sOt out to do it, that bar was, and
he had been raisin' the very old Ned
amongst the pigs and farm produce
generally for so long, and had KEEP so
regular and aggravatinly shet OF all
the traps and tricks that was sot and
tried to waylay and circumvent him,
that at last what did old man Nose,
over to the Eddy, do but declare he
would give 500 in cash for that bar
fetched in dead, or $50 if anybo1y'd
run him in and hand him over awe.
"'Alive!' folks hollered when they
heerd of it. Anybody that tries to
fetch that bar in alive they says,
will more than likely find their own
selves bein' fetched in dead!' they
says; but folks didn't know il ell. and
they hadn't stopped to consider Aunt
Hubby.
"Jeptha,' says Aunt Hubby to Uncle
Jep one day, jest about that time;
'Jeptha, says she, seems to we that
If / was you I'd sort O. take q holiday
this AFTERNOON and wander over lords
Big Injin Swamp. Mebbe you mowt
run foul O. that pesky bar OF course
seys she, you can't hardly expect to
get him alive, but all things being
mortal here below says she, you
mowt accidentally git him dead. II
you do says she, it'll be 500, and $40
will buy cow, says she.
Uncle Jep didn't see but what
that'd be proper idee, and he
knocked off stump-grubbin', took his
old smoothbore rife and started out.
"'Jonas went and borried that 9TH
er gun O. mine, ding his pictur, and
hain't brung 1t back yit,' says Uncle
Jep, as he started.
The bar II fetch jest ezac'ly as
much If you git it with the smooth
bore as 1t will If 1t had come tumb-
lin down before the gun that Jonas
waste your time grumblin',' says she.
Go look for the bar
borried,' says Aunt Hubby. so don't
80 Uncle Jep went, sayin' that If
he got on to the trail O. the cunnin'
old varmint he'd foller 1t If he had to
camp on 1t all night He got over
jest this side O. Big Injin and hadn't
see no sign o. that bar or any other
bar, and was beginnin' to think that
if him and Aunt Hubby didn't git
COW till they got it with the price O.
that bar they'd never quarrel about
who'd do the milkin', when he heerd
somethin' snort. He turned, and there
he see the bar, standin' right out in
plain sight, and actin as if he was
afeard Uncle Jep was goin' on with
out seem him. Uncle Jep knowed it
was him, cause that bar was the only
one in the hull Knob country that had
white spot on it's brisket.
""Tbis is the first time l ever was
to a shootin' match for a cow!' says
Uncle Jep, and the idee tickled him so
that he had to take his gun down from
his shoulder till he could git through
his laughin "A shOOtin' match for q
cow says he, and he hauled up a'gin
and whanged away at the white spot
on the bars chist.
"The bar give a start. felt of his
chist with one O. his paws as if some
thin was ticlllin' of him there, and
then turned a look on Uncle Jep, as
much as to say:
"Iook a-here. now! What a you
handlin' that gun so ding keerless
around here for?
1.-THE bar looked mad, too, and Uncle
Jep was so took back at the unmiti-
gated critters not tumblin' and givin'