davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
A Strike For Rats.

Rats, or, rather, no rats, furnish
ed the strange reason for certain
Michigan miners to go on strike.
There had been an explosion in an
iron mine, and all the rats had
been killed, and the miners refused
to start to work again until a fresh
supply of rodents was obtained. Rats
are regarded as a necessity in these
mines and are known as the miners
friends. They act as scavengcrs and
give warning of impending danger,
thus saving miners lives. When the
rats leave mine, the miners refuse
to stay any longer.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
SURE CURE FOR DYSPEPSIA.
Severe Cases Of Indigestion Yield to
Simple Remedy.

Undoubtedly for sound, healthful
sleep the best position is to lie on
the right side. 1t is curious fact,
however, to roll over on the left side
is quite relief in case of indiges-
| ton.
Let us suppose person has gone
to bed. He is either lying on his
right side or on his back. He feels
certain amount of fullncss in the
stomach and perhaps distress. If
he is in the habit of taking dope,
he thinks at once of his dope. Some
stomachic or perhaps a cup of hot
water or maybe hot sling is
thought of.
Instead of doing any of these
things if he will just simply roll on
his left side he will be surprised how
quickly belching of wind will occur
and almost complete relief from the
distress.
The explanation is that lying on
the left side crowds the stomach.
This lessons the capacity of the
stomach and forces the gas up
| through the esophGgus. This will
frequently bring relief, more nat
ural and lasting relief than any
drug could have done.
Try it next time you have any of
the throes of indigestion after GO
ing to bed. Lie on the left side for
fifteen or twenty minutes and see
if it does not disappear. 1t is very
effective remedy that the ostcopaths
would especially approve of, as it is
of mechanical nature and applied
directly to the disease. After the
gas has been all forced out of the
stomach in this way the sleeper can
generally roll over on his back or
right side and 90 to sleep.
1t is said that Mark Twain rec
ommcnds this remedy as well nigh
infallible. But whether he does CT
not experience has taught us its val
ue.-AIedical Talk.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12

1t is not generally known that
special line of shoes is manufactured
for the undertaking trade. In ap-
pearance they differ to only a slight
extent from the shoes made for Or
binary purposes, but there is no
leather in the soles, and they are
made entirely for show. They are
sold to the trade in assorted sizes
for prices varying slightly from
$3.50, and they answer every pur-
pose as well as those costing five
times as much. 1t is said there is
only one factory in the country in
which they are manufactured, and,
considering the amount of orders
the firm receives all the year round,
this is probably correct. 1t is well
known that special lines are made
for burial purposes in various ar
ticles Of clothing, but it will be
news to many that shoes with light
pasteboard soles are made to go with
them.-Exchange.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
A Touch of Welsh.

There is a little post office in
Wales that rejoices in the short
name of Llanfairpwllgwyngvllgo
Observation-Disclosures siliogogo-
goch. AS a rule, natives abbreviate
this all day and all night name to
Llanfairpwllwyngyll, although it is
considered great fun by occasional
tourists to send kilograms and let
tiers to their friends in which the
whole name is written. However,
the British post office department,
which controls telegraph lines,
charges 10 cents additional on tcle-
grams bearing the complete name.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
The Growth Of the Finger Nails.

The philosophy of the finger nails
is most interesting study, simple
though it may appear at first sight.
1t has been computed that the
average growth of the finger nails
is one-thirty-second of an inch per
week, or little more than an inch
and half per year. The growth,
however, depends to great extent
upon the rate of nutrition, and dur
ing periods of sickness it is un-
doubtedly retarded.
1t is understood to grow faster in
summer than in winter and differs
for different fingers, being most rap
id in the middle finger and slowest
in the thumb and little finger.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
HIS GLAD SURPRISE.
u Fell Rather Flat, but He Knows
More About Women Now.

"My DEAR" said l to my brand
new wife, chat sewing machine is
crying to heaven for oil. 1t is alb
surd to run a piece of mechanism
without the necessary lubricant.
Not only will you spoil the ma
chine, but you are apt to strain your
self driving it,"
My wife raised her head and pois-
ed it prettily on one side. shuttle
botham," she said, "what are we 60
ing TO do about it? l have no ma
chine oil. 1t is too late in the even.
ing to send for some, and I'll die
before morning if | don't finish this
pretty dream of stock tonight"
1--WE have machine oil in the
house." | remarked, with the quiet
demeanor of vestal virgin.
But Mrs. Shufllebotham shook
her head and leaned back in her
chair, the unfinished sewing in her
lap. | walked behind her chair and
softly laid hand against her check.
With tantalizing deliberateness
prepared to launch my glad sur
prise. Catherine" | said, Sup
pose | come to the rescue and tell
you where you can find whole car
full of the oil you want"
Mrs. Shuillcbotham remained ST.
lent, and ! resumed: "ln my desk,
under the last drawer, a little Sc
cret drawer is tucked away securely
among the scroll work. No eyes
save mine know what is in that
drawer. But something which be-
longcd to you is there and also a
cute flat little pocket can brimful of
bicycle oil. Now. like a good little
girl, run and get your can and have
d peep at what | have saved these
many months"
But Mrs. Shufllcbotham never
stirred except to throw her arms up.
ward and about my neck, "Iou
dear old simpleton," she said soft
ly, you've got a lock of my hair in
that drawer and--and--why, used
up that oil three months ago.
New York Times.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
The Small Boy Becomes Thoughtful

Tommy Cat the barn)--Papa, is
this the finest team in town?
Tommy's Fathcr-No; but there
isn't any finer. Those horses, my
boy, cost me $500. They're a per-
feet match, high spirited, good trav-
elers and come of famous ances-
try.
THAT'S why you've got such
nice baru for 'em, isn't it?"
dyes, partly. A pair of fine
horses, my boy, must be considered
as an investment, and a good bust.
ness man always takes care of his
investments"
"And that's why you watch 'em SO
much and drive on the boulevards
with 'em and keep 'em looking SO
slick, isn't it?
eyes, that's on the same princi-
pie. A careful man is bound to look
well after his investments and see
that they are always in good shape"
(After some cogitation) you
don't consider me much of an in
vestment, do you, papa?"
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
The Drama In japan.

Stage management i'll Japan is
somewhat eccentric. When, in the
course of the play, one of the char
acters is killed a man in black rush
es on the stage and holds large
cloak before the supposed corpse,
who arises and runs off. This is a
necessary proceeding, as a japanese
play begins at 10 o'clock in the
morning and lasts for twenty-four
hours, with no shift of scenery, and
it would not do to have the sup
posed corpse lying about the stage
all that time. People go to the play
provisioned for a day and take their
children with them. In the inter-
walls between the acts the children
climb on the stage and make a play
ground of it, sometimes giving very
clever limitations of the actors who
have just gone off.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
What He Was Paid For.

A new application of the rule of
proportion between wages and labor
is the motive of little story from
the Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The leader of the band stopped the
music in the middle of the bar and
frowned.
"Say, Pumpernickel," he demand
ed in a loud whisper, "what do you
mean by playing lot of half notes
where there should be whole notes ?"
Pumpernickel took the horn off
his neck.
"Vell," said he, 81 make explana-
tions by you. You remember dot
you cud down my wages to halluf,
don'd you?"
The leader stared in amazement.
He had done so, but
"Und so continues to make der
nodes mid dis horn, but dey will pc
halluf nodes until der wages vos re-
storded unto whole wages. Ain'd
it, yes?"
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
They Iauuhed Twice.

An eminent Scotch clergyman
happened to dine with some learned
lawyers of the Edinburgh bar. He
appropriated to himself large dish
OF crosses, upon which he fed vora-
ciously. Erskine, wishing to ad-
monish him for his discourtesy, re-
marked:
doctor, you remind me of Nebu.
chadnezzar in his degradation"
Just as this pet allusion was caus-
ing laughter from the legal lights
the reverend vegetable eater retort-
ed:
"Aye, do l mind We O. Nebuchad-
nezzar? Doubtless because l I'm.
eating among the brutes,"
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
The Greatest Of Prestidieitators.

Robert Houdin was the creator of
the latter day methods of modern
magic. He was the inventor of
many of the most ingenious and
novel illusions, including the intri-
cate and pulling exhibition known
as Second sight" lie defined him
self as "a comedian playing the
character of a magician" Late in
life he wrote an account of His
many adventures, and these Conf
dences of a Prestidigitator" are
worthy of comparison with all but
the very best autobiographics-if
not with Cellini's and Franklin's, at
least with Cibber's and Goldonis.
Robert IIoudin's life of himself,
quite as we'll as any of the others,
would justify Longfellow's assertion
that autobiography is what hogra-
ply ought to bc."-Brandcr Mat
thews in Scribner's.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
Could Afford to Be Robbed.

A party of commercial travellers
on the road were Boosting about the
magnitude of the houses they rep
resented when one, who was the
last to speak, said:
gentleman, / wouldn't like to
tell you anything about the size of
our premises or the stock we carry
or the number Of people we employ
because you might think | was ex-
aggerating, but when we took stock
of our employees last week we found
that six cashiers and three book
keepers had absconded three months
before and had never been missed"
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
His Diplomacy.

GLOW did you work father so
beautifully"
"With diplomacy, my dear-purc
diplomacy | told him | wanted to
marry one of his daughters. He
glared at me and asked which one
of them. | said Laura"
"You said Laura"
Eyes; all diplomacy, my dear.
He flew into an awful rage and said
l couldn't have her. lie said she
was too good for me. | insisted.
He grew angrier. | still insisted.
Then he roared out you can't have
Laura, you iackanapes Mollie is
plenty good enough for your And
that's the way got you, Mollie,
dear. Wasn't it beautiful diplo-
macy ?"
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
In Doubt Himself.

An Englishman used to meet the
great philosopher, Arthur Schopcn-
hauer, every morning walking with
his ugly poodle along the prone
made in Erankfort-on-the- Main.
Schopenhauer's eccentric appear
ance, deeply immersed in thought,
excited the Englishman's curiosity
to such an extent that one day he
could contain himself no longer
and, walking up to the philosopher,
addressed him abruptly thus: "Tell
me, sir, who in the name Of fate are
you?" "Ah," Schopenhauer re-
piled, 81 only wish | knew that my
self"
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
A COMMON ERROR.
The Use Of the Word "Artificia" IN
stead Of Limitation"

The Use Of the Word "Artificia" m.
stead Of Limitation"
What is artificial" and what il
"imitation?"
People speak of an artificial bird,
an artificial palm, imitation leather,
and so on.
Now, a man who makes bird or
O palm makes only an imitation of
those objects.
A true artificial bird would be
alive to sing and fly. A true arti-
fetal palm would be able to grow.
Both of these things if they were
truly artificial would be exactly like
the living originals; indeed, they
would be alive.
Consequently it is entirely incor-
rect to speak of copies of living
things as being artificial unless
somebody should succeed some day
in really creating living thing,
Diamonds can be made and have
been made. 1t is correct to speak
of them as artificial because they
are real diamonds, identical in all
respects with those found in the
diamond fields.
Chemistry has succeeded in pro-
ducing artificial sugar. Many min
eral waters are artificial the car
bonic acid gas and other properties
being given to them by art. Wine
charged with the proper gas may be
called artificial champagne with
perfect accuracy. All these articles,
although they have been produced
by art, have the properties OF the
natural product.
But compositions made to take
the place of stone are not artificial.
They are imitation stone. Manu-
factured dyes are not artificial.
They are imitation, for, while many
of them are just as fine as such nat
ural dyes as are obtained from
cochineal, lac and other insects and
from plants like the indigo, they are
entirely different in composition.
They do not reproduce nature; they
III IiLo A. - l,.-..I
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
A LlrTI.E TOO SMART.
The Clever Young Mans Game %
Strategy Was a Failure.

The clever young man was wan
dering UP and down the platform
of the railway station in rural Eng
land, intent on finding an empty
carriage in the express which was
almost due to start. But, alas, his
search was in vain!
Still it is difficult to disappoint o
clever young man when he has set
his mind on to getting something.
An idea occurred to him, and, as
suming an official air, he stalked up
to the last carriage and cried in .
stentorian voice:
GAIL change here! This carriage
isn't goingp
There were EXPLANATIONS low, but
deep, from the occupants of the
crowded compartments, but never
theless they scurried out of the car
riage and packed themselves away in
other parts of the train.
The smile on the face Of the
young man was childlike and bland
as he settled himself spaclously in
a corner of the empty carriage and
lit cigar.
"Ah," he murmured, cts grand
thing for me that | was born clev-
erI wish they'd hurry up and
start"
Presently the station master put
his head in the window and said:
81 s'pose you're the smart young
fellow who told the people this car
riage wasn't going"
"Ies," said the clever one. And
he smiled.
"Well," said the station master,
with a grin, "it isn't. The porter
heard you telling the people, and SO
he uncouplcd it. He thought you
, were a dircctor."-Stray Stories. 3.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
A Harmless Amusement

"You, Misty Tompkins?"
No answer.
"M-i-s-e-r-y"
"What you want, nanny"
"What are you a-doin' thar"
"I'm a-killin' of a rattlesnake,
nanny; that's all"
ooh, never min, then. didn't
know what you wuz a-doin' of an
jest lowed to myself that mebbe you
wuz in some mischief. Cut off his
tail an fetch the buttons home fer
a rattle fer the baby" - Atlanta
Constitution.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
Hole in Hjs shirt,

"I'll tell you honestly, my friend"
said the Red Gulch clothier, chat
that shirt will wear; I'll guarantees
it."
eyes," said Broncho Bill, chats
what you told that easterner, an he
only wore his two days till it had q
hole in it"
"Do you mean to say that p
"Easy, easy now, podner. It
wasn't the fault of the shirt. The
easterner called Pistol Pete liar
indianapolis Sun.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
A Eoruetful Pair.

Bookkeeper-I had to confess to
the boss today that l had forgotten
to post my books for the last month.
Clerk-Phew! I'll bet he jumpeG
all over you.
Bookkeeper-No; as soon as !
told him he said: "Gee whiz! That
reminds me. l forgot to post the
letters my wife gave me yesterday"
SO he forgot all about me.--Phila-
delphia Press.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
The Flylnu Frou.

The flying frog is found in Bor-
neo. He uses an expansive mem
brane on each of his feet in sailing
from tree to tree. The webs enable
him to do this in the same way as
the wings of our modern flying ma
chimes enable their inventors to re-
main for a time in the air.
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12

Joseph Haydn was an exceedingly
industrious worker, and before GO
ing down to business he perfumed
and powdered himself very careful
lN always putting on his best
clothes. On one occasion Frederick
the Great presented him with n
handsome diamond ring, remarking
that if he ever sat down to write
music without that ring no ideas
worth having would come to him.
Haydn never was without the royal
gift. He always used the finest pa
per and wrote his music as carefully
and accurately as if it had been en-
craysS
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
A Lawyers Advice.

Robert Toombs evinced the incest
scruples in the practice of his pro
fession. On one occasion he said to
a client who had stated his case to
him: eyes, you can recover in this
suit, but you ought not to do so,
This is a case in which law and jus
tice are on opposite sides" The
client told him he would push the
case anyhow. "Then," replied Nh
Toombs, "you must hire some or
else to assist you in your rascalitv -"
The San Angelo press. (San Angelo, Tex.) 1897-1907, 1903-08-12
Vision Applied to Smoking.

One particular trait of persons
who are blind is there are scarce
ly any smokers among them. Sol
diers and sailors who lose their
sight while in action sometimes con-
tinue to smoke for a short time aft
err that great calamity overtakes
them, but as rule they soon give
up the habit altogether. They say
that it gives them no pleasure when
they cannot see the smoke, and some
have even gone so far as to declare
that smoke cannot be tasted unless
the vision beholds it.
This odd theory has been demon
strated time and again by blind
folding man and leading him into
a room full of tobacco smoke and
then putting lighted and an UNI
lighted cigar in his mouth by turns.
Not one man in thousand can dis
tinguish between the "dead" cigar
and the one that is in full blast
Exchange.
A Delicate Point In Golf.
A golf fend writes to our query
editor as follows: 81 was playing
golf against friend the other day
and after a magnificent drive was
astounded to see COW swallow my
ball. However, / succeeded in driy-
ing the COW on to the green and with
many whacks made her disgorge my
, ball close to the hole. | then holed
out with the next stroke and claim
ed the hole, as had done it in two
strokes, drive and putt. NO
said my friend; you took fifteen
How do you make that outT !
asked. Why said he, you hit the
COW with your cleek thirteen times,
which, with your drive and putt,
makes fifteen.'" l have been Won
dering if any one has had expert
ences somewhat similar to aboye- =
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-02-06
Few Old Men Can Say This,

Lakefeld, Mimi, Feb. 2.-Wm. e.
Gentry Of this place makes the follow
ing statement:
For over forty years 1 suffered
with misery in my back and at times
l could not pass water without great
pain and a burning sensation. I have
had to make water as often as sixteen
times during one night-just a little
at a time. l tried many kinds Of kid
ney medicines, but all without any
good result till at last 1 tried Dodd's
Kidney Pills and my pains are all gone.
Il took six boxes and 1 am cured
completely. l am II years Of age and
l feel better now than l have for over
fifty years and I attribute it all to
Dodd's Kidney Pills"
Dodd's Kidney Pills have made some
remarkable cures in this part Of the
State, and many old men and women
are praising them highly as a cure for
lame back, Kidney and bladder trou.
bles.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-02-06
FRANCE is GROWING RICH.
Number Of Persons Owning Securities
Is Increasing Every Year.

Is Increasing Every Year.
P~ittsburg dispatch: a statistical pub
~lication just issued at Paris presents an
interesting showing of the division Of
wealth in that country. The almost uni
versal subdivision of the land in France
began with the first revolution and now
there are $4,000 0 of peasants each owning
a home and tract of land. But the same
process has been going on in the leading
forms of personal property. In 1920 there
were but l25, 900 holders Of French rentes,
or government securities. Now there are
over 1900, 900. Tabulations Of the holdings
OF railway securities and bank shares
make a similar showing. In retail trade
there was an increase Of about I per cent
In the past decade, while the number Of
concerns in the wholesale trade actually
diminished In the same time.
OF course, these figures are not so ex-
haustive as to permit Of exact compari-
sons. But they harmonic with the fact
that for at least a decade and a half the
aim of legislation in France has been DEM
%ocratic, with no slight influence exerted
by the socialist element 1t seems as II
this tendency was showing its effects-as
the similar course in land legislation did
early in the last century-in diffusing
property among the common people more
widely than anywhere else in the world
h is accompanied by a financial
strength there which no other nation can
surpass.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-02-06
HE season of catching cold is upon

HE season of catching cold is upon
us. The cough and the sneeze and
the nasal twang are to be heard on
every hand. The origin Of chronic ca
tarrh, the most common and dreadful of
diseases, is q cold.
This is the way the chronic catarrh
generally begins. \ person catches cold,
which hangs on longer than usual. The
cold generally starts in the head and
throat. Then follows constituencies of
the air passages which incline one to
catch cold very easily. At last the per-
son has a cold all the while seemingly,
more or less discharge from the nose,
hawking, splitting, frequent clearing Of
the throat, ~nostrils stopped up, full feel
ing in the head, and sore, inaamed throat.
The best time to treat catarrh is at the
very beginning. A bottle of Peruna
properly used, never fails to cure a COM
mon cold, thus preventing chronic ca
tarrh.
-'... H...}h#E A II Y,rvSck Co.,
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-02-06
Class in Enalish.

Chicago Tribune: VIVA is the de-
rivation of anthracite? Tommy, you
may answer"
Pennsylvania" hazarded tommy.
I'VE haven't derived any at our house
for SO long I've most forgot, ma'am."
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-02-06

The agricultural returns of Great
Britain for 1902 show that the total I'M
der crops and grass was 81. 1857, 765 acres
"a decrease of 29,4sO compared with
1901.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-02-06

1t is proposed to erect state conva-
descent homes in Austria for anaemic
children and those whose weakened
condition renders them liable to con-
sumption.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-02-06
An Explanation,

Puck Little Waldo-Why is it call,
ed the yrpother tongue?
Little &3nerson-Why, Wa.1,, 1 think
the titla'Is obviously appropriate. Have
we mo- observed from infancy that
father frequently cannot get in a word
paSeWiSe?
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-02-06

Puck: Thc New Boarder-I wonder
why they call this stuff health food?
The Old One-Because If a ma has
get rood health he al eat 1t with i'm
punity.