Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-19
OUR MAN ABOUT TOWN

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Col. Brown is fixing to make a
speech in our midst. This event re.
calls some peculiar personalities prob
ably adherent to this gentleman's
sudden rise to public notice and which
has never been in print before.
This genial author of that charming
ly quaint story of western rural life
"Stewed Prunes, or the Pie that Father
Used to Make" halls from Missouri
and is indeed u remarkable man. He
invariably sleeps upon his back, his
right Or left side, only varying these
positions to recline upon his pit Of bis
stomach. As occasion requires Ire
brushes his hair. He eats from time
to time, that is, he partakes of food.
He always wears collar at a social
function and is seldom seen in public
without shoes. He is happily married
to one wife. She thinks her husband
the foremost living author and the
latter is firm believer in the sound
literary judgment OF his spouse. Be
sides these extremely interesting per.
sonal habits this writer OF the realistic
school is u great believer III "local
coIols7 and endeavors to keep them up
to the standard vivid hue. He is a
constant source OF alarm to his admir-
ing friends as lie is constantly being
bitten by dogs, kicked by mules,
elected to the legislature or engaged
in some equally hazardous enterprise.
The extreme fear is that his early de-
mise will be contracted from lint on
on the lungs occasioned by chewing
the rag. II further attempts to con-
cealf acts, by other journals, or perhaps
it may be innocent and unintentionaI
on the part OF those who
purvey to all edited populace inform
alton about literary folk, we will
hasten in our humble way to rectify
the negligence instanter and forth.
with.
The Fitzjeff Korbet fight is over.
The advance sale of seats to specta-
tors who wished to zee these shifty |
gentlemen cavort at each other in un.
dress uniforms reached $33,457. OF
course mutually satisfactory agree.
ment was reached regarding the mum.
Der OF rounds the bout would last and
who was to receive the knockout
upon his anatomy. The fight was for
sixty per cent OF the gross gate money,
a two.year theatrical engagement at
one thousand dollars week and fifty
per cent royalty OH all fake vitagraph
pictures made bsfore or after the en-.
gagement. Korbet finished in the
tenth tableau and has now increased
his vocabulary 1862 words while Fltz-
jeff has SO new strenuous adjectives
and chest expansion OF 104. Tie
real wise student OF boxing statistics
can now easily tell where 10 place his
money by first, figure out the winner
on paper; secondly. get wind OF "jpb"
from either Of the training camps;
thirdly, according to inside informa-
ton received, and fourthly, after the
decision yell Fake" and "Robber"
until unable to talk above q choked
cornsheller whisper.
We are suffering from broken leg
and we have been criticized by gum
heads for not saving it when we could
II done so; but any gentleman will
understand our position. 1t was this
a way: We was riding in horseless
carriage, drawn by mule, with jug
Of 10 yearold Ticker by our side. We
came to hog wallow into which the
wheels on one side dipped and the
buggy was overturned, throwing us
out. Our right leg caught in the
spokes OF the wheel and we could have
drawn it out, but the jug was there in
jeopardy, also, and had we saved our
leg we would have sacrificed the Jug.
We saved the jug, and we did right.
Anyhow, our leg was broken only in
two places.
Our idea OF Il really brave man is
one who will 60 without collar OH q
hot day.
Comfort In the Great Light.
The following biblical readings will
be found appropriate as here noted:
II you have "blues," read the twenty
first psalm.
If your pocketbook is empty, read
the thirty. seventh psalm.