Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-05-02
FACTS AND FANCIES.

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FACTS AND FANCIES. ;
1t goes without saying-an automobile.
columbia Jester.
Never can your, peaches before they
are bloSsOms.-Judge.
NO matter where l hide" sighed the
leopard. I'm always spotted. '-Cornell
Widow.
That's no fare" said the conductor
when the man gave him counterfeit
nickel.-Cornell Widow.
Estate Agent Ito Laborer's Son)-Herc.
my boy, where can l fnd your father !?
Boy-In the pig stye, sir You'll know
i'm by is brown 'at-Punch.
Mr.. Jones will have dance Friday
night; the last one is sure to be the best,
as each proves better than the last
Pierre Is. d. Stock journal.
rs it true that Piker is financially
He is awfully in debt. but it doesn't
seem to embarrass him at ALL"
so YOU lose again" "Of course"
Yes; he could run very well. But he
couldn't swim. Washington Star.
knoX-Why do you always put die.
tated,' at the bottom of your letters?
You have no stenographer
knix-Well, you see. I'm a very poor
spcller
Employer-Yes. l advertised for a
strong boy Think you will fiji the bill?
Applicant-W l just finished ickin'
nineteen other applicants out in dc hall.
st. Louis Star.
The Daughter-Jack promised that il l
accepted him he would mend his WAYS.
The Mother-Humph! / haven't much
faith in this repairing done while you
wait.-Brooklyn Life.
Little Clarence-pa!
Mr.. Callipers-Well, my son?
Little Clarence-Pa, is Il double eagle
one that is married. or a pair of 'em thar
are twins?--Smart Set.
Whats the audience bowling about?"
demanded the excited manager
That cursed Juliet" gritted the an
CRY Romeo. "She leaned too far out on
the balcony and fell overboardr INDIAN
apolis Sun.
Pete-When Yer dad was lickin' yer
heard him say it panied him more than
it did you. Amt dat a chestnut? jim
my--Naw; twas de truth dis time. De
switch broke an few in his eye.-Phila-
delphia Record.
Bob-There is a word of one syllable IN
the English language that is always
spelled wrong, even by the most educated
people.
Bob's Chum-What is that?
Bob-Wrong!-TitBits
"Dasher and his brother fell out the
other day and now they don't speak"
You don't say?"
Yes. they fell out of their automobile
while going at the rate of eighty miles
an hour. philadelphia Press.
"There's one thing about me that l
don't understand" said Tommy, thought
fully, land that's WHY it is that making
marks on wallpapers is such lots Of fun.
and making 'em in copy books in schoo!
is such hard work. "-Tit-Bits.
Mrs. Black-Norah, weren't you I'M
usually long hanging out the clothes to-
day?
Servant-P'r'aps / was, mum; hut ]
had to tell Mis- Tattle's girl about that
quarrel you had with Mr.. Black.-Boston
Transcript.
Whats the difference between
bishop and a monsignor?' a friend asked
of Archbishop Ryan. 'Wel." answered
the Philadelphia prelate after moments
reflection, "a monsignor is sort of coun-
terfeit bishop. The genuine bishop you
may know by the ring"
NO PROBLEM IN HIS.
Dey talks erbout race problems,
But / amt seen nary one;
After | eats my 'possum
| goes Ter sleep in de sun.
De only problem l knows on
Is cookin' the 'possum done!
Atlanta Constitution.
Mr.. Wredink (the old book keeper
Today marks my fortieth year of service
with you. sir.
Mr.. Hides--I was aware of it, Mr..
Wredink, and l arranged a little surprise
best wishes for your continued punctual-
ity.-EXchange.
He-Miss Workman, I'm going to pro-
pose to you
She-Really, Mr.. Phoxy, I'm so sorry,
but
He-That we have some ice cream
She-Oh, / shall be delighted To-
He-Some evening when the weather
gets warmer.-Philadelph Press.
MORGAN, PERHAPS.
1 am thankful that the sun and moon
Are both hung up high,
That no reforming hand can reach
To take them from the sky.
E's.F-i hay~ I how Il
That some pFesumptuOus ass
Would move to take them from their place
And light the world with gas
The GROWER.
'The idea of sending children to bed
early to punish EN-" exclaimed Mrs
Cossel, who was discussing her relatives.
That's isn't any way TO erect them"
''Of course il isn't" answered her hus-
ha nd ..If Won HEant 70 cnnrincn ,n,r d.