davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
THE TRUE AMERICAN GIRL.
Miss Nay Ee.et Heies United Hs s.e
the Name
~~~
~~~~~

possess faces and fortunes" hut
nobody has ever suggested the fact
that they might possess character as
well. 1t has always been sufficient II
their faces made good pictures for the
newspaper and their fortunes would
cover the tattered holes In the frayed'
out tapestry OF an old European title.
But an heiress with character Is u
distinct novelty from the point OF
view Of the public On beth sides OF
the water.
Miss May Goeit has fsce-not
beautiful one-but sweet one. with
sunny eyes. sunny hair. n pretty femi'
nine mouth and a strong chin. IL Is
face worth putting on canvas or paper.
When she is twent-hye she will have
fortune estimated at twenty mil
lions. Everybody knew OF these two
facts several years ago. when. as
young school girl. she first appeared
as bridesmaid at consuelo vaaderbiits
wedding. In addition. however. she
has character and 4 chart of happi'
ness by which she sails serenely past
decayed and degenerate princes. fop-
pIsh young earls. dukes noted as the
rakes OF two continents. AID barons
who offer themselves for sale Ike
secondhand sofas at the anetioEeeF's
shop.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Northern Lights in the Laboratory

Northcrn lights IN the Laboratory.
The aurora borealis is initiated on q
small scale by Prof. w. Ramsay,
whose experiment has been exhibited
to the London Royal society. A pow
erful electromagnet. placed vertically.
has pole pieces extending horizontally
from both the upper and the lower
ends, and between these pole pieces Is
an exhausted glass globe containing in
its upper part metallic ring. A pow
erful alternating current passed
through the ring produces an annular
glow discharge. On passing n current
through the coils of the magnet the
glow discharge is detected downward.
producing streamers closely resem.
bling those of the sky. and highly
rarefied air in the globe gave the lines
of krypton that appear in the spect.
rum of the aurora.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
lI:,ls Ls.I,use.

u suppose a man has To be pretty
careful in order To hold his Job" said
tae taika;iye passenger.
Yes" assented the conductor. sad.
iy. III knock fare down the com.
rany kicks. and II knock a passeE.
ger down he reports me-"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
More Accurate,

SIS your house heated by fur
nace?" asked Van Major.
We'll" replied Won Miner, eau.
tlously, 81 wouldn't be quite so reck-
less as to assert that. There Is u
furnace in the cellar, however"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Sentiment and Sense.

"You see. SIR" said the smiling
proprietor. these rooms command n
charming view OF the landscape.
and"
Bother the landscape. What I want
is room that commands n view OF
tho fire escape"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
equI,ahls Division.

"You allow TO heer In the houso7"
mo: my wife and never drlak
anything but wine and water"
In what proportion do you take
t?"
u drink the wine and my wife
drinks the water
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
The Professor.

1T seems to me-" observed the doc
tor. that's t9o northerly latitude
for ishing trim this time of year"
81 dent caro- anything about the lat
itude." said the professor, busily
packing his fishing tackle. "AIl /
know is that the muskallongituoe IS
Just right
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Theory and Practice.

"Ah!" he sighed. II YVES happ!c.
when was poor
Well" they answered coidiy. .it Is
always possible for n man to become
poor again.
But somehow the idea did not seem
TO impress him fnvornbiy.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
After Information.

Suitor-"so you will give your
daughter e5.ooo: that is small
sam"
Rich Papa-"Ycs. but she will In.
herit the whole property ut my
death"
suitor (abscntly)-"About whu,
time will that be?"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
So He Mica EN-,

Mikc-And why the divIi do yc.
tcke beer an whisky mixed?
Pat-Surc. II oI'm dhrink beer OIL
cit full before oi m dhrunk. and II Oh
dhrink wh!sky OF cit dhrunk before
'oi'm full. 80 4. shu;cs me better to
mix 'cm.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
A Posalhle Exclamation.

"oh, George" she gurgled happily.
as she cuddled closer. II wonder how
any one could say absence makes the
heart grow fonder'?'
Il think replied George. that
must refer to the absence Of third
rarty."
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Real Cause.

ITO what" asked the enterprising
reporter of the Paradise Bazoo, do
you attribute your downfall?"
ITO the fact replied Adam, as he
winked at Eve, that the apple crop
wasn't failure this season."
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Mo Necessity.

''But don't you see," persisted the
disputatious person, you are merely
begging the question when you"
81 never beg anything, sir" haught-
lily interrupted MIR. Gaswell. II am
able to pay for everything want
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Sure Sion,

Managing Edltor-"How did you
know that the new man was an ex-
perienced reporter?"
City Editor-"Because he wrote ten
lines about suicide yesterday and
never spoke Of it as rash act"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Came Down Again.

''Rcmcmbor." raid the Sabbath
school teacher. "that no man ever ief;
this earth and returned"
There wns one" spoke Up tho
small boy in the red cap"
who was hc!'
Santos. Dumont.'
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
An Cptomist.

She -"charlie Haifback is an optl.
mist for fair
He-"Wby so?'
She-"Why. he lost toe. two fin-
gers and part of an ear in Saturdays
football game, and he says he's ell
right as long as he's got his hair"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Evld,ntIY a Victim.

Don't you think it's wife s du.,
to keep her husbands clothes clean?
"u'm! Well. don't think it's her
duty to keep 'em cleaned out of every
speck of filthy lucre. Not much"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
In the Smart Set.

THAT first wife OF mine never could
take joke"
But she took yon once
Don't get personal when she got
her divorce from Eelmohiit last weeK
sent her message wishing her
many happy returns of the day. and
now she refuses to even nod when we
meet"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Goinq Into ParticuIare

Excited Lady (at the telephone)-l
waut my husband, please. at once.
Voice Qrom the exchange)-Num.
ber, please?
Excited Lady snappishly)--Only
the fourth, you impudent thing.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
II Mould Seem So

Marriage" remarked the moral.
izer, ''is lottery
That being the case" rejoined the
demoralizer, 'alimony comes under
the head Of gambling debts and can
not be legally collected"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
A Study of a Rich Man.

II wonders how rich man fecls?'
well. I'll tell you. He feels dis
away: Now dat he got 1t he cant keep
1t; en- eff he do keep 1t somebody else
will sho' git 1t! Pass de'possum."
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Whsn unloaaIna Wagons.

The invention shown in the accom-
panying illustration has been designed
by James Baker OF Carroll. Neb.. to
provide means for supporting shovel
or other similar implement in such a
manner as to materially assist work
man In raising and delivering the ma
terlal from the box of wagon. The
device consists OF couple OF sockets
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Poor Dog.

Cholly--1 nevah met such a queer
girl. While was calling there the
othah evening she made me pet her
pug dog, and awsked me II l didn't
want to kiss the beast.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
3 sckleas Expense.

81 had heard that young spenditt
committed suicide"
"Yes. The doctor said the poor fell
Jew had swallowed enough morphine
to kill fifty people,
''Mercy! Extravagart to the last!"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Thorouoniy Equipped.

"Hc's thinking of launching out rs
n theatrical manager this winter
Il didn't suppose he was fitted for
that sort OF thing"
20. yes! a relative OF his who
died recently left him fur.lincd over.
coat
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Hard en ths VeaetahIs..

NO" said the houseaeepeF. angrily,
4 dont want any more OF your vege-
tables. They're just about as worta.
less as I've come to believe you to
te."
"oa. don't sEy that about 'em.
ma'am." protested the huskstcr. Don't
say that about en-
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Like q Boy.

Aunt Frances said TO her nephew
one day. what will you do when YOU
arc n man!'
I'm grow beard.- was tho uncs'
pccted reply.
"why!" she asked.
because. then I won't have nearly
no much face to wash" said Tommy.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
caustic Comment.

Miss Elderleigh-"My friends say
these photographs fail to do me JUS
tice."
Mr.. Frank-"Of course they do. But
then justice should always be temper
ed with mercy. you know"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02

False friendship. like the ivy. decays
and ruins the walls it embraces; but
true friendship gives new life and an
imation to the object it supports
Burton.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
just Like the Rest of ,Em.

EFF Satan wuz once in heaven. how
come he ever got out er it?"
We'll, like many another po' devil,
he couldn't stan prosperity"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Hat.pin Retainer.

a device for the purpose described
provided with funnelshaped portion
adapted to be attached to hat and
having a guideaperture for n hat-pin.
and said device also provided with
two clamp-arms extending across said
aperture and one clamp.arm provided
with n lateral finger secured to the
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
TOO Mues.

sae-put mana says you refuse TO
listen TO reason.
Hc-Great gurs. Does she call
herself reason?
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
In Kentucky.

A-Docs the colonel take wairhy
for cold?
B-No. he takes cold for the
whisly.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
Especially If the Lady is stout.

Yes, SIR said the glib salesman,
Il contend that 1 can tell the DISPOSE
ton of woman by the corset she
wears
Well" said the thoughtful man.
I'll admit there's good deal in that"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02

ccnsurc Is the tax a man pays to
the pabiic for being eIninen'.-Swit'.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02

buried into the ground with their lower
ends in proximity to tho roots to be
treated. The liquid can then be forced
cut in fine sp;ay at the point where
II will do the most good.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-01-02
,DDGI=a!lgagJ IJJO[ZgE[LF>0. 4

Methcd Of Refining.
Don't yeu think Mrs. de Swim has
a marveionsiy refined faee?"
We'll. shs ought to have. it's been
through processes enough
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1903-09-24
The New Hampshire Liquor Law

1t is related that In New Hampshire
city the city marshal had posted the
name of certain man as drunkard and
saloonkeepers were instructed not to sell
to him. He was found on the street the
worse for liquor, and was arrested. In
the police court he said he had procured
the liquor through one of his friends, who
bought it for him at the saloon Although
the friend denied this, the city officials
decided to bring him to trial. But there
was nothing to charge him with Had he
sold whiskey to his friend, he would have
been liable for selling without a license
and for selling to one posted as an
hahitua drunkard. But the new law
does not prohibit giving liquor to a
posted man, nor acting as his pur-
chasing agent at the bar and it remains
TO be seen if the law can be stretched
enough to take in the "obliging friend"
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1903-09-24

upon It's small beginnings many years
ago, and the work it has accomplished
since. From 60 to Is children of all ages
are constantly cared for within the shell
ter of the Home. and nearly as large a
number are sent out to good homes every
year. The nursery department is espec-
tally interesting. The babies are well
cared for by loving hands. and many Of
the little ones are adopted before they
are old enough to know that their new
parents are not really their own. A num-
Der of interesting incidents were related
showing how we'll worth while 1t is to
care for the children and give the babies
a chance.
Mrs. keefe. the resident missionary at
the Adams Mission Home. gave an out
line of the work planned for the coming
season. y social evening every week,
with some entertainment, cottage prayer
meetings, an evening Bible class, moth
ers' meeting, a girls club meeting twice
a week are some of the things besides
the Sunday school and services on Fri
day and Sunday evenings. which the
missionary and her helpers are planning
to superintend Then there is the visit
ing at the homes and the temperance
work, made tenfold more necessary and
more difficult since the license law went
into effect The churches all share in
this work, and Mrs. Keefe made ample
acknowledgment of the help she is con-
stantly receiving. but it is given by a
very few persons comparatively, of the
many who might share the heavy weight
of responsibility and labor which rests
upon those who give their time and
strength to the work.
The facts and figures showed that these
charities are doing good work and are
deserving of generous support from our
citizens.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1903-09-24
Senator Proctor Did Not Hunt on Sum
Oay

Those who know Senator Redncld Proc
tor do not need to be told that he never
hunts on Sunday, or that the report sent
out from Newport, N. H. in relation to
paying fine for killing a raccoon on the
Sabbath did him a great injustice. AS n
matter of fact Senator Proctor while out
hunting in company with his grandson
on Saturday afternoon shot raccoon,
not dreaming that there was a law pro-
tecting that animal, and in view Of the
Ynannee in which the animal is viewed in
most States this supposition can hardly
be regarded as strange. Indeed consLlta
ton of the game laws Of all the States in
the Union shows that the Granite State
is the only one in which there is a closed
season fer raccoons.
After the raccoon had been bageed he
learned OF the law, and at the first OPP
portunity he informed on himself to the
commissioner and paid the penalty with
out waiting for apprehension by any rep
resentative of the law. Under the cir.
cumstances it is evident that Senator
Proctor did all that lay in his power &c
remedy the mistake.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1903-09-24
STATE FAIRS OUT WEST.
(From the Chicago Chronicle

The Wisconsin state fair last week was
a dismal failure. The attendance was
small; the exhibits were insignificant;
the principal attraction, an automobile
race, resulted in killing a man and smash
ing his machine; the gate money was in
sufficient to pay expenses, and the pre-
miums are in default. This is the history
of nearly all recent State fairs depend
ing for maintenance on public patron
age The only successful State fairs are
supported by State appropriations of
doubtful constitutional authority, not by
gate money and the funds otherwise
lcgitmately derived.
The Illinois State fairs are not self-sup-
porting into tens of thousands of dollars
a year. The State pays the expenses.
while but few thousand out of the many
thousands of the population visit the fairs
or receive any benefit from the institu-
ton. The main use of the State fair is
that it comprises general roundup of
politicians in two parties. AT the State
fair conferences the chance of the cleo
ton are considered, the factions agree on
their respective candidates, party inter
ests are considered and the political fu-
ture is nodded. But this is not an object
of such Importance that the State should
pay 100000 year and over for its sup
port.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1903-09-24

held that the only assistance that can
be given voter there is under tho pro-
visions of chapter IL, section go of the
general statutes OF Massachusetts, which
provides that "a voter who declares on
oath to the presiding officer that he can
not read or that from blindness or
other physical disability he is unable to
prepare his ballot. shall be assisted in
the marking thereof by one or two OF
the presiding officers"
It will be remembered by some of our
readers that Vermonts Australian bal
lot law, as first adopted contained u
provision not wholly unlike that quoted
from the Bay States ballot act Section
20 Of the secret ballot law, which was
passed In 1892 by the Legislature pro-
vided that any voter who by reason of
physical or mental disability Is unable
to mark his ballot shall so declare to tho
presiding officer aforesaid and said voter
shall then, upon request, receive the as
sstance of one of the board of civil au-
Of.
Inasmuch as our law did not compel
voters asking for assistance to declare
on oath that they required assistance, it
did not take long for politicians to dis
cover that the provision quoted furnished
an unsurpassed means of oscertaining
whether the purchased voter delivered
the goods" and soon voters who could
readily read and write were frequently
calling for assistance in order that party
representatives might know they had
voted as they had promised.
In order to remedy this evil the Legis-
lature in 1900 passed an amendment to the
election law. providing that two assisting
clerks representing the two leading par.
ties should help the voter prepare his
ballot when requested. This measure did
not suffice to meet the situation however
for when the purchased voter had cast
his ballot the assistant representing the
party whose ticket he voted gave a pre-.
concerted signal and the party outside
had earned his money.
When this method was first tried the
fact was overlooked in some quarters
that the assisting clerks were required
to remain in their respective booths dur.
ing voting hours, and when this require
ment was complied with it became i'm.
possible. of course, for signals to be
given but even now 1t seems to lie pos
sble in some way to reach the purchased
voter.
Massachusetts has plainly the bes
method yet devised to meet the case, SC
far as we have observed, for if a votel
commits perjury for the sake of sellins
MS vote and showing that he has de
hvered it, he can be sent to prison 70
such perjury. The assisted vote sholll,
he reduced to the smallest possible pro
portions, in order to guard against TIL
use OF the assistant clerk as a spotte
for his party
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1903-09-24

during the winter. 1t might be possible
to require men of families who are with
out employment during the summer
to give thor names to the poor
master. then if they are person
ally to look to the city for sup
port during the winter; although the pro
vision of a wood yard during the winter
where men must work out the support
they receive from the city may partially
meet the case
Be this as it may it is recognized that
the expense of our pauper department
has reached large proportions, and there
is a constantly increasing disposition on
the part of some people to rely upon the
city for the necessaries, as well as some
longod cold season.
No public spirited citizen would with
hold assistance from the deserving poor.
from those who are sick or unfortunate
and unable to provide themselves with
the necessaries of life. Whenever people
who should rely upon their own energies
succeed in drawing from the poor de-
partment practically their support as well
as that Of their children, we are encour-
aging tho growth of pauperism among
youth whose education in an entirely
different direction the public good de-
mands. Able bodied men who refuse to
work during the summer and whose fam
lilies must be supported by the taxpayers
during the winter are scattering the
seeds of pauperism. and the welfare OF
their own children as well as the public
| good cry out for measures to prevent
the growth of this menace to society and
| rood government
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1903-09-24
card ex-secretary Joseph Chamberlain
now has UP his sleeve.
CONGREGATIONAL Reciprocity.

The Quebec Congregational association
which meets at Island Pond this week,
will afford fine example of congrcga-
tional fellowship between the two lands.
In Canada are many pastors who once
served in the United States. while in Yer
mort is q good-sized contingent of clergy
men who hailed from the Dominion
Among these are the Rev. Thomas Hall
of Island Pond ana the Rev. A. F. Nc
Gregor of Newport both Of whom were
superintendent for the Canadian Con
gregational Missionary society. The Rev
DIR. S. N. Jackson. formerly of Barre and
now of Burlington. was also for many
years the treasurer of the same society
Other ministers from Canada are scatter
ed up and down the State a number OF
whom are expected to attend this unique
meeting
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1903-09-24
SOME CITY CHARITIES
Reports of the Work of the Howard
Relief, Home for Friendless Women,
Adams Mission and Home for
Destitute Children.

At the meeting of the Womens Home
Missionary society of the College Street
Church on Wednesday afternoon, in
terestng accounts of some of the chart
ties of our city were given by ladies we'll
fitted to speak for them.
Mrs. b. Fl. Stone for four years super
intendent of the Howard Relief gave q
brief history OF that society. and a state
ment of is aims and methods. Among it's
founders she mentioned Miss Louisa
Howard and Mrs. Ellen b. Plat. and
paid warm tribute to the long and de-
voted service OF Miss Katharine Hagar,
for many years its president. The aim Of
the society is to prevent poverty. and its
relief work is done with this aim con-
stantly IN view. The society makes itself
acquainted with every needy family in
Burlington and supplies their needs as
wisely as it may. 1t tries TO keep the
children Of these families in tho public
schools and carries on industrial schools
for children during part of the winter.
Mrs Stone deplored the lack OF organi-
cation and OF cooperation among the
different charitable organizations in Bur
lington. which results in waste OF work
and of money, She made an earnest APP
peal for teachers for the Industrial school
soon to open; for gifts OF second hand
clothing and for a more general inter
est on the part of the community, in the
work of the society.
The Home for Friendless Women was
represented by Mrs, Ida II. Bead of the
board OF managers, During the ten years
of its existence the Home has received
and sheltered $50 women and girls. a
large proportion OF whom are now living
virtuous lives. In reply to the criticism
sometimes made that such institutions
put a premium on immortality, Mrs. Read
said that the inmates Of the Home were
largely from the class who had had nc
home care and restraint and who had
been exposed TO great temptation, and
that no one was ever received the second
time. The Home is greatly in need OF
money, as IT always has been, Some
times the managers have hardly known
where the next meal was coming from
but help has always arrived in time tC
prevent their closing their doors.
Mrs c. T., Miner, president of tn,
Home for Destitute Children spoke fol
the work Of that institution. touching