davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
Small Boy Entertain. Hi. Uncle.

"Did Johnny entertain you nicely.
Uncle Abner. while was out?" asked
the niece the old man was visiting.
HE did very well.' was the rather
constrained answer. "He spent most
of the time making me promise to let
him come to by funeral
Dear little fellow! He's so thought
ul."-Chicag0 Record-Herald.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
Just wanted n Chance.

Mister Jedgc.' called out the col
Ored witness, after he had been on
the stand a full hour. kin | say one
word, suh?'
"Yes," replied the Judge. What is
it,"
Hits des dis. sur. Ef you'll des
make de lawyer set down ell keep still
two minutes, en- gimme livin' chance,
I'll whirl in en- tell dc truth. Allan
ia Constitution.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12

Your husband" said the doctor,
"has worried himself sick. He needs
q change"
where ought we to go:' asked
the anxious wife
ITO the city" replied the doctor.
promptly" where he will not live con-
stantly in Il narrowing atmosphere Of
suburban trains and time tables
Chicago Evening lost.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
No; MANY There These Days.

Willic-"Pa. when You say mans
wool gatherin' It means he's lazy.
don't it,
Pa-"Not necessarily. He may he
gathering the wool of the lambs in
Wall eet."-Philadelp Ledger.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
Rows Will he Isoys.

81 guess you can't tell me anything
about croquet!"
well. that's what was afraid OF.
I suppose there does come time when
a maa gets too old to learn"
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
Ailments.

DR.. Smith-"I've no patience with
purely imaginary ailments
DR.. Jones-"Iou're lucky. Eve half
a dozen all the time
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
Classified.

Jack-"Hc asked Dolly to marry him
while IL bathing; Isn't he Il bird:'
JcSsic--"Ycs: 4 Seagull."
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
Gets the Best Always.

Merchant-"Yes'm one pound or
nails. Six. eight. or ten penny
Mrs. Youngthing-"Give ME the ten
cent ones. please. always get the
best. Chicago News.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
The Finishing Touch.

The Nurse-"The doctor has come to
take your temperature
The Convalescent-"I suppose it's all
I have left"
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
The Reason.

"What makes you think that noble.
mans Intentions are dlshonOrable"
why, he wants to marry her. -
Life.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
Hair.

"And her hair" cried Claude. sis
something to dream over.
1T would make Il good mattress.
for Il fact" assentcd Meltravers. ever
anxious to display fine scnSibilities.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
Mutual.

I'm satisfied" said the angry tailor.
"that you intend to beat me out OF
this money
"All right" chuckled the happy
debtor: "it you're satisfied; l am
Baltimore News.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
Rose 70 the Occasion.

Archibaid-"Ma give lie pen-
ny:'
Motler-"You're too big to be ask
ing for pennies
Archibald-"Well. then, give ne
quarter. r."-Chicago News.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
In Doubt From Appearances.

utomobilist-"Say. where can ! get
some repairs made: I've met with an
accident"
Farmer-"What dye want-a ma
chine shop or a hospital?'-Motor.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12
It's Identity.

Little Ozro-"Paw. what is a cham
Der of horrOrsT'
Farmer Bentover-"Wa'al. good land,
Ozzie! Don't you know what your
maw.s spare bedroom looks like:'
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1903-11-12

RzzRIzE
Our BUDGET
( OF EluMoR.
Oh, Joy!
know no single case Of bliss
So bllSsiul "a 10 ask 4 miss
II she viii we'd.
And then 10 watch her chew her thumb,
.As though ii were some toOthsomc gum,
And nod her head.
Baltimore News.
Classified.
Jack-"Hc asked Dolly to marry him
while il bathing. Isn't he Il bird:"
JeSsie-"Ics: 4 seagull.
The Reason.
"What makes you think that noble.
mans intentions are dlshonorable"
why. he wants to marry her. -
Life.
The Finishing Touch.
The Nurse-"The doctor has come TO
take your temperature"
The ConvalGscent-"I suppose it's all
I have left"
Ailments.
DR.. Smith-"I've no patience with
purely imaginary ailments"
DR.. Jones-"Iou're lucky. Eve half
a dozen all the time
Gets the Best Always.
Merchant-"Yes'm: one pound OF
nails. Six. eight. or ten penny
Mrs. Youngthing-"G ME the ten
cent ones. please. always get the
best. ."-Chicago News.
Boys VIII BE Boys.
81 guess you can't tell me anything
about croquet!
well. that's what was afraid Of.
suppose there does come time when
a maa gets too old to learnt"
It's Identity.
Little Ozro-"Paw. what Is cham
Der of horrors:'
Farmer Bcntover--"Wa'al. good land,
Ozzie! Don't you know. what your
maw,.s spare bedrooms looks like:"
In Doubt From Appearances.
-"Say. where can ] get
some repairs made: I've met with an
accident"
Farmer-"What dye want-a ma
chine shop or a hospital!'-Motor.
Hair.
"And her hair" cried Claude. "is
something to dream over.
1T would make Il good mattress.
for fact" assentcd Meltravers. ever
anxious to display fine sensibilities.
Mutual.
I'm satisfied" said the angry tailor.
"that you intend to beat me out OF
this money
"An right" chuckled the happy
debtor: at you're satisfied: l am."-
Baltimore News.
Rose 10 the Occasion.
Mamma. give me pen-
N.Y.
Motlier-"You're too big to be ask
ing for pennies"
Archibald-"Well. then, give ME 4
quarter. Chicago News.
No; Many There These Days.
Willic-"Pa. when You say mans
wool gatherin' it means he's lazy.
don't it,
Pa-"Not necessarily. He may he
gathering the wool of the lambs in
Wall Street" ."-Philadelphi Ledger.
His Idea OF Generosity.
"Did You turn that needy friend or
yours empty-handed from your door:'
We'll" answered the mild-mannered
man. 81 don't value money for its own
sake. but I'D kind o like to be In a po'
sition where the subordinate employees
Of large enterprises will say good
morning. SIR instead OF step lively"
Washington Star
Small Boy Entertsins His Uncle.
"Did Johnny entertain you nicely.
Uncle Abner. while was out?' asked
the niece the old man was visiting.
HE did very WELL" was the rather
constrained answer. "He spent most
of the time making me promise to let
him come to by funeral
Dear little fellow! He's so thought
ful."-Chicag0 Record-Herald.
Too Much For the Nerves.
Your husband" said the doctor,
"has worried himself sick. He needs
Z, .h,puov
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12

There are about 10000 automo-
biles in use in the United States.
Drunkenness in the army has
doubled since the canteen was
abolished.
The average coffee tree in
Honduras produces half a pound
of beans.
Peat has about half of the heat
ing power of coal and double that
of wood.
Polo is probably the Oldest of
athletic sports. 1t has been traced
to 600 B. G.
The first complete sewing ma
chine was patented by Elias Howe,
Jr., in 1916.
Three pairs of Siamese twin
fishes have been hatched at the
New York Aquarium.
The first Union flag was unfurled
on January l, 1776, over the camp
at Cambridge.
1t is unlawful for a doctor il
France to inherit property left tc
him by deceased patient.
Twelve thousand people were
arrested in Glasgow last year fol
using obscene language.
The gold yield of Victoria fol
the first two months of this year
am mounted to 1876, 139 ounces.
The population of Damascus
reputed the Oldest city in the
world, is calculated at 225, ,0O(
souls.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12
Curious Facts.

A Massachusetts farmer drives a
team of cows.
There are nearly 10000 known
medicinal remedies.
sixth of the land owners in
Great Britain are women.
India exported $46, 900, 900
worth of cotton last year.
Petroleum is the fuel of the To-
comotives in Asia.
Ohio collects over 81, 900, 900 in
licenses from 10, ,739 saloons.
On many railroads cement ties
are used displacing wooden ties.
Holton, Mo-, with a population
of 4,5O0, has seventeen churches.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12
Jefferson City Notes.

Among those attending the COM
mencement exercises from Kansas
City are Prof. j. w. Baldwin and
wife. Prof. j. S. Harris and wife,
Mrs. Nero and Mrs. Frances Jack
son.
Buy your Millinery of
Miss Chandler, 1O6 E. High
St., Jefferson City, Mo.
Prof. o. M. Shackleford, of
Warrensburg, is in this city.
Call on John A. Shot, The
Tailor, for suits made to or
der. All kinds of cleaning
and repairing. 5-22-4t
Prof. s. 7. Pettigrew was in
the city last week.
See S. Rost, the Tailor, 215
Madison st. Jefferson City,
MO, for all kinds of Tailor
ing, cleaning and pressing.
May 22-4t
Owing to the flood fewer visitors
than usual attending the com
mencement exercises.
60 to Mrs. Bauman liz
E. High ST., Jefferson City,
Mo-, for all kinds of sewing
and dressmaking. 1924
- Mr.. j. G. McMahan of Fulton is
in the city.
$500 worth of purchase
tickets from Miss Chand.
ler's millinery store, lO6 K.
High st., Jefferson City,
will entitle you to a life size
portrait for 80 cts. A tick
ct given with every Sl.OO
purchase. May 22-4t-
Patronize the merchants who ad
vertise in this paper.
Great reduction in all mil
linery at Miss Chandler's
LOG E. High st., Jefferson
! City, Mo. May 22-4t-
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12
A Tale Told in Titles.

tArranged by a Kansas City. Kas., Reader Of the
Star)
"When Knighthood Was in
Flower" "Janice Meredith" and
"Peter Sterling possessed "Ths
Right of Way to "The Puppet
Crown" while "Alice of Old Vim
cennes," with ga Portion OF La
bor' brought about "The Crisis
f the External City" ''1n The
p. lace of the king" Orchard"
met "Audrey," also "David ha'
nm I" who followed sin His
s+ons, >. "To Have and to Hold"
! her for his own. But "Eleanor'
.ood lik, =" The Red Rock" between
=. SO consequently "Questions
hon science" were not thought
. % ~ ~ "No. S St. John st."
. oun' Narket Place" one Of
w "nvm l'm, married "Miss Pet
1ese gallants .ho;r hr;da
coats" and visl.
[oney Island" OIL
our.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12
Beware of OintmentS For
Catarrh That Contains
Mercury

as mercury will surely destroy the
sense of smell and completely
derange the whole system when
entering it through the mucous
surfaces. Such articles should
never be used except on prescrip-
tions from reputable physicians,
as the damage they will do is ten
fold to the good you can possibly
derive from them. Halls Cattarrh
Cure, manufactured by F. j.
Cheney & Co., Toledo, O., con-
tains no mercury, and is taken
internally, acting directly upon
the blood and mucous surfaces Of
the system. In buying Halls
Catarrh Cure be sure you get the
genuine. 1t is taken internally
and made in Toledo, Ohio, by
F. ]. Cheney & Co. Testimonials
free.
Sold by Druggists, Price 75c per
bottle.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12
LINCOLN INSTITUTE
COMMENCEMENT.
Another Successful Year OF the
State School for COlOred
Youths passes into
History.

Jefferson City, Mo-, June IL, 'O3.-
The thirty-third commencement of
Lincoln Institute was held this
week and closed at noon to-day
when diplomas were presented to
young men and young women by
Prof. B. F. Allen, President Of the
institution. The flood situation
throughout the state prevented
many patrons and friends of the
institution from being present at
the exercises of the week, which
began Sunday, June 7th. The SER
mon to the graduating class was
preached by Rev. Father Harper
of Kansas City. The sermon to
the religious societies was deliver
ed by Rev. Gibson of Kansas City.
The annual address to the literary
societies was delivered by Prof.
Gordon of st. Louis. The gradu-
ating exercises of the &C" Normal
class were held Tuesday evening
and were largely attended, and the
program rendered was most ex-
cellent one and those who took
part acquitted themselves most
creditably. The pr o d u C t i o n
"Beauty a duty" by Ida Schweish
of Columbia, was one of the best,
deserves special mention from the
point of delivery and thought.
The class day exercises of the
graduating class were held Wednes.
day evening and were probably
the best exercises of the week.
Hon. 1. F. Bradley of Kansas City
delivered the annual address to
the Alumni Association Thursday
evening at which time the follow.
ing program was rendered:
| Piano Soo-"Murmuring Zephyrs" Jensen
Miss Estela Zimmerman
Invocation
Piano Solo-"walse Lente" Sureking
| Miss Bessie Clark
Address-Presidont ]. NJ. Rutledge, '8I
Vocal Duett-"Love Shall Guide Thee White
Misses Carney and Anderson
Talk-Relation of Lincoln Institute Alumni tc
Lincoln Institute, Prin. w. II. Harrison, IS.
Duett-"Hungarian Rhapsody" Lisz
Misses Zimmerman and Williams
Talk-Relation other institutions of the STATE
sustain to Lincoln Institute, Editor R. l.
Logan, '9S
Piano Solo-"Second Mazurka" Godarc
Miss Mary Lou williams
Address-"Now" Judge I. F. Bradley, IS, Kan
City Kan
Music
The teachers for the ensuing
year will be announced next week
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12
COlumb ia Notes.

Mrs. Laura NVilhite, who mas
been the guest of Mr.. and Nh .
Harvey Pazar, has returned to he
home in Rocheport, Mo.
The editor of thet Professional
World left Sunday for Jefferson
City where he will attend the
commencement exercl 'ses or LIN
coin Institute.
Mrs. Jane Matson is cry ill.
Subscribe for the Pr Ofess iona
World, only one dollar per y, ear
and join the voting contes t.
Miss Luella Graves, who ha.
been visiting her mother at Guthrie,
Okla, has returned home.
Mr.. Jas. l.. Matson of Boston,
Mass, and Mr.. John Matson of st.
Louis was suddenly called to the
bed side of their mother.
Mrs. Bette Waldon and little
granddaughter returned from Car
rolton, Mo-, Wednesday.
The A. M. E. Sunday school
convention will convene here next
week.
DR.. j. e. Perry has sold his
home on eighth street.
Miss Maud Williams has been
elected delegate of the A. M. E.
Sunday school.
The Boone County Teachers
Institute, was called to order by
the conductor, Prof. j. B. Cole
man, June 8, 1908, at the Fred
Douglass school, having an en-
rollment of seventeen teachers.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12
Health and Beauty.

Alcohol is one of the best of
cosmetic remedies.
Deep breathing in pure air is a
health preservative.
Sunshine, exercise and fresh air
are the best cure for insomnia.
Warts and moles can be removed
by touching with muriate of am
monia.
A glass of hot water before
breakfast is a laxative and tones
up the system.
Scars can be lessened by nightly
rubbing with cocoa butter or al.
mond meal.
Grapes are healthful and fatten
ing, as they contain large amount
of sugar.
Hair that splits at the ends
should be trimmed with pair of
sharp scissors or singed.
Orris root imparts delicate fra
GRANGE to the breath and can be
bought in small sticks.
Bitter aloes rubbed on the finger
tips will generally break the habit
of biting the nails.
Nervous people should take light
exercises, increasing them daily as
strength is gained.
Flour spread thickly on burn
will prevent blistering and the
scars that ere likely to follow.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12

If you have perspiring feet bathe
them in warm water to which a
little ammonia has been added.
Almond meal softens and WHIT
ems the skin, and for tender SKINS
n ,ay be used as substitute for
soa'p.
Pm Mons and corns may be cured
bv nic htly applications Of IODINE
and the wearing of easy-httlne
shoes.
Baked bah anas are more nnUri
+r;o,-s than the raw fruit, and a II
often nc, ID by phi SYsicians in case'
of fever.
Red lips cannot be ae, CURED Ia.t1 artl,
fit tally; they usually ~. Of iror
hea lth and a large quantl.
III tH\5 UlOOu.
To thicken the eyebrows an
lashes apply vaseline or lanoline
in which small quantity of quin.
inc has been mixed.
Apples are wholesome and easilv
digested, eaten on an empty stom. !
ach beforesbreakfast they make a |
good laxative. I
A few drops of tincture of myrrh
in glass of water applied daily to
the gums will keep them hard and
in good condition.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12
A Communication.

The Professioal World is in re
ceipt of the following communica-
tion from the Columbia band:
Columbia, Mo-, June, 1898.
Permit US to say that DR..
Perry's band has neither in the
past nor the present attempted to
deceive the public. The affair
given by US recently at Fifth street
hall was advertised as an entertain
ment, carried out as such, and en-.
joyed by fully SO per cent of those
present. Our aim was to give a
musical entertainment as many
Columbians were anxious to hear
us play but had never had an op-
portunity.
"We are neither confidence men
nor men whose highest ambition is
to engage in ''mix-up" or any
other variety of dances; but nearly
half of us are church workers and
eleven twelfths of us do not dance.
We trust the good citizens will not
be rnisled by any reports to the
contrary.
Every Respectfully,
DIR. PERRY's CONCERT BAND" I"
The above statement was brought
ont by an editorial which appeared
in this paper short time ago with
reference to an entertainment
given by them at Fifth street hall
at which a part of the crowd en-
gagged in dancing while many who
attended expected to hear a pro-
gram rendered by the band. We
willingly publish the above and
hope the young men will profit by
the mistake and that it will not
occur again.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12
III in ,SalO DeO Salus 333.

The Grand session of the
Knights and Daughters of Tabor
will convene in Columbia July
28th, 1908, in Orears hall cor.
Broadway and 10th streets at 8
o'clock a. m.
j. E. HEREFORD, G. G. M.
j. G. HAYES, G. G. S.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12
Agents Wanted.

We desire to engage som,
agents to solicit subscriptions
the Professional World. Libe.
commissions will be paid and oni,
one agent will be engaged for the
same town, only persons of good
standing need apply. Address,
Professional World, Columbia, Mo.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-06-12
A Request.

We will consider it a great favor
if our readers will patronizc the
merchants whose advertisements
1hey see in this paper.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1903-10-23

The supreme court has upheld the
law allowing the parent or guardian
a sum not exceeding fifteen cents per
day, for not more than 100 days in
each year, for conveying his children
to school where they reside more than
three miles from school house. In
Atchison county, a farmer named
John Atzenweiler attempted to collect
from school district No. for the con-
veying of his children to school. The
school district board refused to pay
and Atzenweiler brought suit and OBJ
tanned Judgment. The board appealed
to the supreme court and it affirmed
the judgment of the lower court. The
contention was that the law was un-
constitutional because it contained
more than one subject in its title. The
supreme court held this was not the
case.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1903-10-23

No doubt the coal corporations
consider these days as days of pros
perity, heaped up, shaken together
and running over. The raid that
they propose to make upon the
peoples pocket books this season is
more extensive and profitable to the
trust than ever before. They propose
to limit the supply and charge ac-
cording to the urgency of the demand
If this thing were probed to the bot
tom, the railroad companies would be
found as deeply involved in the mud
as the coal combines are in the mire
The beauties OF these private monop-
olies are SO dazzling that distance
lends enchantment to the view
Kansas Commoner.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1903-10-23
He Learned a Great Truth.

1t is said of John Wesley that he
once said to Mistress Wesley: "Why
do you tell that child the same thing
over and over again 90 "John Wes-
ley, because once telling is not
enough 1t is for this same reason
that you are told again and again
that Chamberlain's Cough Remedy
cures colds and grip; that it counter
acts any tendency of these diseases to
result in pneumonia, and that it is
pleasant and safe to take. For sale
by 6. A. Mosher & Co.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1903-10-23
Mrs. Nations Histrionic Debut.

From the New York World.
The dramatic world will be inter-
ested in this synopsis of ''War on
Drink" the play in which Mrs. Carrie
Nation will make her histrionic debut.
The first act shows Mrs. Nation ut
home at Medicine Lodge. She explains
how drink has b ought unhappiness
into her life. She belrothes her niece
Dora to young man in the village
who afterwards goes to the bad thereby
breaking Dora's heart. In the second
act Mrs Nation appeals to the au-
thorities at Kiwah to stop the sale of
liquor there, as it is against the law
of Kansas. A stranded actor helps
her materially, as he is trying TO
marry rich but somewhat giddy
Kansas maid. a sort of Charles
Warner effect of drink is illustrated
in this act, the victim being Dora's
sweetheart. His redemption takes
place through the efforts of Mrs.
Nation. A picture of the evils OF
drink at family dinners is here shown.
In this act Mrs, Nations first smash
iug crusade begins. She destroys a
local saloon with rocks gathered in
her apron.
The scene of the third act is the
senate saloon at Topeka, Kans.,
which will be made the feature of the
play. In the midst of election excite
ment Mrs., Nation brings into play
for the time her celebrated Ratchet,
wrecking mirrors, paintings and
everything of value. Mrs. Nation is
saved from bodily injury by the in
PREVENTION of friends.
The fourth and last act shows Mrs.
Nation under arrest, charged with
malicious destruction of property,
and at her trial, which follows. She
is seen in prison annoyed by drunken
prisoners and the much dreaded CT
garette smoker. The play ends with
her acquittal and the complete tri-
umph of prohibition in Kansas.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1903-10-23
they may be altogether too much in
evidence in the campaign next year.

The doctors do keep the world in a
heap of trouble. Not long ago they
were lamenting the loneliness of farm
life and said it conduced to insanity.
Now comes along another batch of
medics anC say that city life is to be
deplored because it's excitement.
worry and strain leads to nervous
ness and a rundown constitution.
If the doctors continue to live it looks
as if it would be hard thing to find
place for anybody else, at least
that will satisfy them.-Ex.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1903-10-23

American commissioners should be
won over to the belief that they were
we'll founded.
The consent of the United States to
allow the question to be opened at all
was almost without precedent. Its
procedure, however, has removed any
possible ground for the conte ntion by
Canada that it has been i'll treated by
it's powerful neighbor.