The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-05-10

notes OF superior 10 tHOSe Ot
America believe there are some hotels in
this country better than any in Europe.
could mention one, but l hate to talk
about myself.
One reason for this is that the hotel
keeper In this country is a better grade of
man than his European brother-a man
who stands higher in the social and bust
ness scale-and he is more honest II
man is cheated in an American hotel, it is
an accident. If he il not cheated in Con-
tnental hotel, it is an accident; and acci-
deu,s seldom happen over there.
Hotel men in this country run their own
hotels. The large hotels Of Europe are
mostly run by soul!ess corporations which
believe in killing the goose that lays the
golden egg, knowing that there will be
fresh American geese coming over to be
killed next year.
When l was in London I stopped at
fashionable refrigerating plant called a
hotel The coal strike would have no ter
rors over there. The only time you get
hot is when you pay your bill. II you
want your wine trapped the waiter puts the
bottle under the table and you place your
fleet on it.
But they have good servants who know
how to say THANK you!" and that covers
multitude of sins. 1t is pleasure to give
Zip when it is appreciated, 1t is burden
To give one when it is received, as it often
i here. supercilously, or scornfully. or
inGTerently.
How sharper than the serpents tooth
It Is to have thankiess walter.
Tipping is a pernicious but apparently
fixed habit, but a tip should only be given
for value received, and If the recipient
fails TO thank the donor, the donor should
take fall out Of the recipient and yank it
back again.
don't think the best hotels there are as
good as our best. but there are none there
so poor as our poor ones. Everywhere
over there you can find small, cheap. clean
hotels, where you can get good bed and
the choice Of few good things to eat.
The landlord cooks, the landlady keeps
house, the daughter tends the bar and the
son waits on the table.
The came class of hotel here as rule.
gives you bill of fare as elaborate as the
Waldorf. The food is brought to you in
microe copic daubs. smeared on lot OF
little plates, which are stacked up around
you 10y naughty female girl who evidently
con- ders that she is doing you an act OF
conCes censiop, and who then retires and
leans against the wall and gaTe' at you
scornfully. as though she would say:
stranger, forbear!" and you are left to
choose between slow starvation and sudden
death,
The landlady is probably out in Dakota
suing for divorce, the daughter is in the
parlor knocking the stuffing out OF the
piano, the son is in the billiard room play
ing bottle pool with the head waiter for
drinks and the father is down In the cellar
concealing himself from his creditors.
And when election comes they all vote
for free silver, because they say thereisnt
enought to go around.
There Is another crying evil which de-
mands reform. In small hotels where no
menus are printed, it il The custom OF the
waitress to recte the list Of eatables with
a velocity which telescopes each item. and
subsequently to bring such refreshments
AS the dazed boarder has been able to rescue
from the wreck OF words.
You have had a conjurer force card
upon you' He apparently hands you the
pack to choose from; but you always take
the card he selects. So it Is with the hotel
waitress. She can force pie on you in
the same way.
Mattresses should be compelled by an
act Of the Legislature to repeat the Dill OF
fare slowly, and it should be INSIDE
meanor for her to retire afterward behind
your chair. fold her arms and gaze scorn-
fully at your back hair.
| presume these remarks will bring about
an instant revolution in the manner OF con-
Quoting small hotels. / belive the public
would welcome greater simplicity in the bill
of fare --less frills and more nourshment.
1 speak feelingly Of the country hotel, be-
cause spent number OF years in one. At
that period, although Of tender years, was
gifted with large adult appetite.
was not only promptly on hand at the
table three times each day but be-
tween meals devastated the orchard and
garden. and from time to time to swooped
downupon the pantry Atthat time Thought
] should never grow to be a good and great
hotel proprietor and get my picture In
tho Sunday papers, and read abstruse
papers to gatherings OF hotel men, dwell
ing with bated breath upon my every word
and hoping it would be my last
At this point will again digress to say a
word about the pictures Of hotel men which
hive recently been printed In the news
papers
| am not vain Of my personal charms;
and fully realize that II were to attempt
to travel on my shape I would never see
much of the world; but once or twice OF
late pictures OF me have appeared in the
apers, which were calculated to deter
boarders from coming to my hotel. and
after seeing which my innocent children
turned from me with loathing
fully realize that the public is clamoring
for nv likeness. and want to say to the
members Of the press that II they VII! print
my picture, wish they would idealize
it little.
The ocean steamer Is an interesting
study for a hotel man. 1t Is a floating
hotel. 1t 10 easier to float hotel on the
ocean than In New York. II the ocean
hotel had Is much water In her az some OF
those on land. she would 60 plumb to the
bottom
II must be a cinch to run an ocean hotel
Every guest Is dashed TO mast, as 1t were'
and can't get away for week or more
There is no jumping the bill there or sliding
down the fire escape,
r-.-,, o,o ooys for three meals day,