Morris tribune., 1903-08-15
ANECDOTES OF MILES.
How the General INDUCED In
a Practical Joke.
FELLOW OFFICER THE VICTIM

Although it Is generally understood
that the sense Of humor Of General
Miles, who has just been retired from
the United States army, is not sufti-
GENTLY developed even to enable him
to hold a position on Punch, story is
told of him which would indicate that
under provocation he can indulge In a
sportive practical joke, says the Wash
ington correspondent Of the New York
Tribune. 1.-The incident" said an army
man, lis accepted by some Of us as an
explanation of some of the friction be-
tween General Miles and his colleagues
which years of association have devel-
Oped.
"a number of years ago Miles, who
is a big man physically, and another
we'll known general, clean shaver and
of small stature, were detailed to re-
port to western garrison. AS the in
cident which l am about to relate has
never been forgiven by the small gen
eral, who still brides at suggestion Of
the indignity he suffered, l shall omit
his name.
IL l1lS VI NA4ACS " 90 as
signed the duty Of arranging for berths
on the Pullman car. The two generals
then were friends, but each took pleas
ure in getting the better of the other,
all with apparent good nature. Wheth-
er there was conscious or unconscious
jealousy at the bottom of their amiable
conflicts l do not know.
"On this western trip the small gen
eral selected of the only two available
berths the lower for himself. When
Miles found that he had to climb to the
top bunk he protested, saying that mas
much as he was by far the bigger Of
the two he should have had the lower
berth. But the other general was in
flexible, and Miles had to climb labori-
ously into the unwelcome port.
"Down below the triumphant general
chuclzled while the notes from the up
per berth, where Miles was trying to
adjust himself for the nights sleep,
could by no means have been mistaken
for vesper service.
by midnight the Pullman's diapason
Of shores indicated peace. Suddenly
an uproar disturbed the sleepers. The
trouble was between a very insistent
woman who had boarded the train at
town in western Pennsylvania and
the porter.
General Miles pushed aside the cur
tains. Madam he roared, what in
heavens name is the matterY
4" 'Mattery she repeated I arranged
by telegraph for a berth in this car,
and the porter tells me that two army
men have got accommodations and
that l must sit up
""That's all right, madam replied |
Miles. I can arrange matters for you.
My little boy is occupying the berth
under me, and you can turn in with
him.
'The excited woman Gained down, |
her thanks and proceeded to
make ready for the night. At this
Juncture the little general was awak-
aned.
There now, little boy said the
detecting signs of uneasiness
N the darkened berth; don't make any
noise. Your father told me to sleep
here
"'What does this mean?' exclaimed
The now thoroughly aroused and
wrathful little general.
"The woman repeated her instruc-
ions.
Madam came the voice from the
over berth, 4 am General x. Of the
rTnifo1 Sfafoc nd |
you instantly
"He never finished his stern order.
With a shrek the woman snatched
Ter belongings and fed to some remote
BART Of the train. But, while the rest
# the awakened and convulsed occu-
PANTS enjoyed the p rformance, there
'nsued colloquy between the general
md Miles that was suggestive of a
ield of carnage The little man could
not be Modified. He swore vendetta
Lgainst Miles, and the enmity has In
reased with years"
General Miles has proved himself a
lie never more clearly showed the true
older spirit than by clever coup he
xecuted on train between Washing
on and New York the other day. On
aking his seat in the chair car he
ound himself in close proximity to a
Dung woman whose family had long
zen on terms of intimacy with his
wn and young man to whom had
zen conf1ded the pleasant duty of act
ng as her escort The gallant general
entered into conversation
With the twain. The day was hot and !
be escort had lost much sleep the T
light before, so that soon after the {
rain pulled out of the Baltimore sta
lon the young man was nodding. =
waiter announced dinner Sin the \
lining car ahead but the young man .
lept on, apparently lulled by the con-
tant flow Of the generals converse +
on and the rhythm Of the train. That Z
7as the generals opportunity. He in
tied the young woman to dinner and
be accepted. When the general and .
is fair partner returned, the escort still .
Iept, nor did he awaken until after r