The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-22

THE NONP ARIEL MAN
Casually Observed.
There has been SO much rain in Ne
braska this fall, that we have applied
for membership in the Lincoln, Neb..
yacht club.
Poultney Bigelow and Professor Small
nave declared for a war with Germany.
We do not know just why, but-well, there
is that imported cheese as a casus belli,
now you mention it.
John the Baptist, who formerly held
forth III Minneapolis, has showed up in
New York and has denounced" Elijah
Seems if'' these prophets ought to get
along without denouncing one another or
somebody. Nothing makes us shy at
prophet like his getting UP in meeting
and dealing dannation around the land.
The ice man and his family are now
studying the routes of winter travel in
Egypt and the Holy Land.
1t is said that there are bat few Mace
?onians in arms now Judging by the
vast number Of Turkish massacres in
which the inhabitants were :conpletely
wiped OUT there aren't Macedonians
enough left to sholler for help III,
A layer of thick cream and a dash of
sugar on a baked apple doesn't go so bad
for little boys with curvature of the
spine.''
The people of Dawson cannot bathe in
| our ocean without a permit. /
Maine reports another prohibition in
vention hailing from Biddeford. It is
called the uno cocktail and is made up
of a finger of alcohol in a glass of beer.
No wonder the death rate fluctuates wide
ly in the pointed fir country. 49,
Grover Cleveland can never draw the
Chicago vote. He neglected to go out
to the stock yards during his recent visit.
a: Mrs. Gertrude M. Barlow of Kansas has
Secured a divorce from her husband, Jo-
seph w. Barlow, on the ground of Tex
IRENE cruelty For the cause of the
action of divorce and as an instance Of
this extreme cruelty, Mrs. Barlow set up
the plea that when. she was advised by
her physician that nothing but trip
! abroad would ''free her from the worry,
| excitement and distress which home
| vironments produced, the defendant re-
| fused to pay the expenses, and she would
| have been compelled to remain at home
| but for the benefcence of her father
| The brute!a Can Mr. Barlow ever hold up
| his head in that community again?
The Woman's Home Companion, in it's
1 "Beauty Hints" or something of that
| kind, says that the scalp needs constant
airing. If that is the truth, we bald
headed dudes are pretty close to nature
after all.
The sixteen-inch gun installed at Sandy
Hook hurls a ton of metal twenty-one
miles. The man who attempted to field
in that kind of a hot liner would have
| to be whale.
A writer in the Woman,s Home Com
panion says that by applying electricity
to the roots of plants and by other means
strawberries Will soon be grown as large
?. as fine apples. and raspberries and black
berries will be produced Of such dimcn-
sions that one will suffice for the fruit
| course of each person. Cranberries goose
berries and currants will be as large rs
| oranges. One cantaloupe will supply a
I large family. Melons, cherries, grapes
| plums, apples, pears and peaches will be
seedless. All varieties of summer fruits
will be of such a hardy nature that they
will be capable of storage all thru the
/ winter, as potatoes are now. CHEAP native
| rubber will be grown. and will be har-
vested by machinery<a all over this country.
| Roses will be as big las cabbages. II
strawberries get as big as this. there will
not have to be! anything in the box but
the top layer. 1t is also to be hoped
that the same proportionate increase will
apply to the ton of coal.
| When the Custer County Clarion started
cut it's Vol. 1, No 1, the editor after
stating, Of course, that his object was
to, make money. added: I'VE shall aim
| to tell the truth as near as is consistent
With good health, except in wedding and
! funeral notices. When a couple get mar
rled, no matter how homely or frowsy the
pride may be, she will appear in these COZ
| Gmns as model of beauty, style and
| female loneliness and general social
fayorite; and the groom, who really cuts
I mighty little figure at a wedding anv wav
j Will be mentioned as a apable and prom
lslng young man, etc. altho he may not
nave money or credit enough to buy the
necessary fannels for the first baby.
| When man dies he~will always have been
a good father and kind husba nd-unless he
| happens to be a bachelor-a pillar of the
community and one whose loss will be ir-
I reparabe.'' " -
A paper conducted on those broad and
generous lines is bound to succeed
We do not know when we have enjoyed
.'1is eiitiS iiiOiS -DOClOI' FdrkHuTStS
4 letter to Doctor Dowie In substance
4 Doctor Parkhurst says: -
I Il do not want to be presuming. dear
DR.. Dowie, but.I must say that YOU are
/ a loW-browed, cheap skate and that your
| language is very bad I attended YOUR
service last night and found you about
/ the worst ever 1t was abominabie. You
are, dear brother, a mountebank and a
i religious stiff. !. hope you will take this
I In the kindly spirit in which it is offered
and that it. will be blessed to YOU
Claire has detected a terrible crisis in
her life. 1t came about in this way. One
1 evening when we were sitting by the
I library: table and somebody had been
angel white enough to bring out the cfoc-
olate creams, Claire said that for the last
] three months she had noticed that that
| Wild and glorious tlutter of excitement at
! the heart, that catching in the throat
had been absent when the candy or thu
ice cream was mentioned. From these sad
| symptoms she had come to infer that her
g1rlhood was changing into womanhood:
Ethat the embers were slowly dropping
lsaWay into gray ashes; that the mast
strange as it may seem, was indeed ir-
| revocably past and that all was changing,
neeting, uncertain. -
| Its the sure sign," said Claire .pathet-
/ lcaliy, this growing distaste for the. pleas
l ures OF the palate and for the gay social
t'11fe OF. the world that I am passing into
The lean and slippered overskirt: that life
| haSllltt1e more in it for me-