Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-10-03
THOMPKINS' LATEST.

Like l likka you.
Ha ha hal"
Bling! Betty the serving maid had
dropped the plate Of hot cakes she was
bringing in to the breakfast table.
Smash! Mrs Thompkins had let the
coffee pot fall from her nerveless
hands
Mr. Thompkins stopped laughing and
looked around.
Shall | telephone for the doctor,
tear?" asked Mrs. Thompkins, feebly,
Or do you feel better now?"
Mrs. Thompkins," said her liege, Il
would have you understand you need not
telephone for the doctor now or at any
know that | am not a candidate for
Dunning, Elgin or Kankakee. | would
have you and the startled serving maid
know that have merely begun this
morning to exploit the Always Be
Cheerful and Wear Ever a Smile club"
"Oh," said Mrs. Thompkins.
you can oh madam, as much as you
please. But the next time come In with
a bright smile, merry laugh, and a
glad song ringing from my lips you will
know that | am merely spreading sun
shine In a grouchy world"
What is your plan?" asked Mrs.
Thompkins, meekly
MY plan" said Mr.. Thompkins, sit
ting down to the breakfast table and be-
ginning an attack on the cantaloupe, is
simply to radiate cheerfudness. That's
all. Just radiate. Don't you know
what an effect a dreary day has on peo-
pie? How 1t makes them sad? Haven't
you ever noticed how cherries sur
roundings produce the most depressing
Thompkins. because you are not phi
losopher. But | have. | will radiate
cheerfulness. | will be little old walk
ing sunbeam. | will be mirth clad in
neat fall suit. People who are sad shall
feel my gladness and cheer up. | will
send out ha, ha rays In every direction.
People cannot be within two blocks of
me and not catch my gladness. Fever is
catching, measles are catching, whoop-
ing cough is catching, so are sunshine,
gayety and gladness. Everybody will
catch these things from me. Ha, hal"
Mrs. Thompkins looked doubtful but
Mr.. Thompkins grabbed his hat and
started down town.
''Ha, ha, hal" laughed Mr.. Thompkins
in the car "Ha, ha, hal" Then he be-
gan a merry whistle.
Wonder if he sells 1t by the yard or
by the mile?" said boy across from Mr..
Thompkins.
What a fine little whistler" re-
marked fat man. Ought to go on the
stage"
Mr. Thompl1ins scorned these remarks
and whistled merrily on.
He kept on whistling all the way down
town. although the passengers looked
unutterable things at him and made
many unkind remarks
At the store he met Mr. Lendem, the
head of the credit department, who
looked unusually glum
La, la. Ia" sang Mr.. Thompkins.
Cheer up. Lendem. The world is bright
and merry. How beautiful everything
is. Ha, ha, hal"
You're a fool" muttered Lendem.
sourly.
"oh don't say that" laughed Mr..
Thompkins. Laugh and the world
laughs with you. weep and you weep
alone Come, why don't you cheer up
and be gay? It's just as easy, La, la
la"
IF you had this liberated tooth OF
mine in your jaw" shouted the exas-
perated Lendem, you wouldn't la, la, la
quite so darned much. Get out of here
before knock your head off"
Mr. Thompkins retreated in some dis
may, but, remembering his principles.
soon resumed his whistling and smil-
Ing.
He was sent for to go into the Office
and responded in a hurry.
"Ha, ha, hal" he shouted as he bOlted
in the door why, you're all as quiet
as a funeral" he said, as he looked
around at the members of the firm and
two or three strangers sitting solemniy
about the room. "Ha ha. ha! What a
gay old world it is, to be sure. Let's all
laugh"
"Mr. Thompkins." said the senior
partner, Kindly omit the levity and be
seated"
"Ha, ha, hal" chortled Mr. Thomp-
kins. "a good laugh is better than medo-
cine Ha. ha! When is a door not a
door? When It is ajar Ha, ha hal"
The junior partner grew red in the
face and looked as if he were about to
explode. Mr.. Thomplins saw it and
ratified merrily on.
Nothing like sunshine, life is worth
the living Why. then, be sad, when it's
! Just as easy to be gay. All laugh. Ha,
ha hal"
The junior partner could hold himself
no longer, but broke out into hysteri-
cal laugh.
One of the women visitors arose
haughtily and coldly and said; Since
you have no respect for my uncle we had
! best withdraw"
She stalked out of the office, followed
/ bv Tho pthar yict+Nrs