Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-08-15
FACTS AND FANCIES.

get the same potato wen. YOU never
eat it, sir. illustrated Bits.
Gladys She loved him for all she was
worth. Elsie-And he loved her for all
she WAS worth.-Towu Topics
She Mother is ON our side. anyway.
He-What did She say? she told papa
that he mustn't judge too much by looks.
Life.
Miss Fairy Titmarsh has a pair OF
calves that cannot lac beat in this sec
ton Of our glorious repubic.-roledo
Blade.
II did not know that had SO many
close friends" said the Sporter, turned
down in his tenth attempt to borrow 50.
Yale Record.
Teacher feel for you, Tommy. feel
for you every time / have to punish You.
Tommy-Wen. you found me all rigEt
that time. Exchange.
She (scornfully)-I believe he only mar.
ried her for her money.
lie tdecidedly)-Wc he has certainly
earned it.-Stray Stories.
1ueSt-h altef, l see you have turtle
soup on the menu. Is it mock turtle?
NaiterTNo, sab; jist plain cbery-day
mud turtle, sah.-Exchange.
Christian Science Mother Eleanor.
what is the mattcrI
oh. mamma. | got terrible error of
the mind in my stomach. Life.
Another tragedy" saia the cynic as
= 81 p1, Il.
ciStern. Il suppose there is woman
at the bottom of it. '-Yae Record.
What did you see about that whole.
sale butchers sign that caused you to
giggle so?"
Headquarters for hndquartcrsr-
Houston Post.
The man who is always talking about
how much work he does should reIncm-
her that some people work SO hard that
they don't have time to tell about it,
Atchison Globe.
Bll-It seems strange. but heat comes
in waves. does it not? Jill--lt certainly
does. And vet man wants 10 get into
the waves TO get out Of the beat
YonkerS Statesman.
Fair Painter hope you don't mind
my skctching in Your field:
Farmcr-Lor no. missile. You keen the
birds off the peas bettcrn a ordinary
scarecrow.-Stray Stories.
Somehow. when we picture a woman
going through heavens gate we see her
turning back with dissatisfied look be-
cause she can't Smuggle her men folks
in with her.-AtchiSon Globe.
Husband-Are you aware, my dear.
that il takes three fourths Of my salary
10 meet y0ur dresSmakers' bills? Wife
Goodness gracious What do you do
with the rest of your money San Fran
cisco Wasp.
Harry Dix says You are pretty
as a picture. Clara Nonsense lie didn't
mean it. Kitty-Ob. yes. he did. Bur.
Of course. You know Harry'S taste in pic
lures isn't anything 10 brag about.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Iusband-WeH. now, you see you've
been riding backward for two hours.
Wife-How korrid Of you not to have
told me before. You know that / can't
stand riding backward for a minute
Fliegende Blaetter.
Mrs Ncwliwed-I don't see why ron
ask 20 cents quarter peck for your
string beans. The other man only asked
j.. Huckster-Wel ma'am. yer see.
these beans Of mine are all hand-pickcd.
Philadelphia Press.
lawyer must know the whole truth
before ] can successfully defend y6u
Have you told me everything Prisoner
Yes, everything: cent where ! hid the
money. and l want that for myself
Glasgow Evening Times.
He-Geraldinc, ! don't know how 10
tell you. Here il is week from our
wedding day, and I've lost every cent.
She-Oh. how unfortunate. But isn't
it better that il should happen now, be-
fore its too latef-Brooklyn Life
He-If you loved me you would marry
ne while / am poor.
She--You DO M injustice. love you