davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Memphis Commercial-Appea
says; Mrs. Robert Fitzsimmons, who
died the other day. will be best known
to fame as the lady who is credited
with the historic phrase, Paste him, In
the Stats, Bob She ought to make a
dead-game angel"
The Chattanooga Times Dem.) says:
IF we may judge by the tone of Gov.
Stones denunciation there will be a
plank in the next Democratic platform
condemring the 'hireling press and
putting it upon a plane with the 'vo-
racious trusts a press that does not
agree with 'Gumshoe' Stone must be
corrupt, of course -
The Philadelphia Ledger Qnd) says:
The policy of retaliation, whether it
be adopted by nations or individuals,
is not good in principle and is of
doubtful good in practice 1t begets
bad blood or strained relations, and as
one act of retaliation coinpels another,
the policy if carried out to logical
conclusion must eventually ruin one or
the other party to it,
The New York World (Dem.) says:
Ordinarily it is the aim of party lead
crs and managers to make it easy for
recruits to join them. This is the only
way that d minority party was ever
known to get power. At the last pres
idential election the Democratic party
lacked $4,000 of a plurality. Since
that time the breaking up of the Popu-
list and Free Silver. Republicans, who
contributed at least 100000 to Mr..
Bryan's vote, has, sent 1,000,000 more
back to their original love, the Repub-
licans. So that unless a very large
number of Republican, Independent
and hitherto alienated Democratic vot-
ers support the Democratic candidate
next year, the party will meet with an
other crushing defeat. But Mr.. Bryan
says: Keep them Quit Let no man
who did not vote for ME- in 1896 and
1900, and who failed to accept the Chi
cago and Kansas City platforms as
the inspired and interchangeable Demo-
cratic doctrine, be permitted to get into
cur party unless he comes crawling on
his belly and clad in the sackcIoth Of
repentance
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
Why l Went 10 the Foot.

From Frank Leslie's Popular Monthly.
Was ever a maiden so worried?
I'll admit am partial to Jim,
For Jimmie has promised to wed me
When I'm old enough to wed him;
But then 1 love teacher, too, dearly,
She's always so lovely to me,
And she's pretty and kind and sweet
tempered,
And gentle as gentle can be.
I wouldn't for worlds hurt Jim's feel
ings,
For he never. would like me again
But there was my dearest, sweet
teacher.
And I'd die If my words gave her
pain.
1.-TWO plus two equals what?" was the
problem, ....t
And l knew teacher thought it made
-four" ,.......
But Jimmie said "six," and maintain
ed it
AS long as he stood on the floor.
And l saw 1 must soon choose between
them. se
For was the next in the line.
Should 1 side with my teacher or Jim
what s a sad situation was mine!
And just as my heart with that prob
lem
OF friendship was so sorely vexed
was called on to answer the other,
For teacher had said, sharply
Next"
1t was then that the brilliant thought
struck me,
That by compromise could oontrive
To hurt neither teacher nor Jimmie.
And that's how l came to say 1--WE"
Ella Parker Butler.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
The Vanity of Old Men.

My old friend Col. John Tyler Dick
son is as vain as he is handsome
according to his own admission, says
Victor Smith in the New York Press.
While crossing from the Hoffman
House to Madison square yesterday
he was stopped by a semi-tramp, who
asked for a light from his ten-for-ten-
cents cigar. MY cigar is nearly gone,
but will give you box of Matches"
said the old Mosby guerrilla suavely.
The fellow calmly took the butt out
of the Colonel's mouth, and while
thanking him for the offer of matches,
said between puffs as he proceeded
to light bis own stump: did (puff)
any one (puf) ever. say puff to you
(puff) that you-er-(puff) have a gen
erous puff and open countenance 2"
The Colonel blushed to the roots of his
-his-hair and murmured, mo"
ALLOW me to conduct you safely
across the avenue" said the tramp,
touching the warriors elbow. Ten
feet from the opposite curb he whis-
pered confidentially: You know, sir,
how humiliating it is for one like my
self to ask a favor, but would you
kindly let me have ten cents?" Of
couse he got it after the Coloners COM
plant that his vanity had been reck-
oned at so low a figure. With a polite
bow he FASTENED back to Broadway to
pick up another vain old fox, another
light and another dime.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
"Brenk the Grnss.,,

George Coleman, who runs New
York Central train between Buffalo
and Niagara Falls. is perhaps as well
known as any conductor running out
of Buffalo. He says that he has seen
many funny sights and carried many
queer people, but the most amusing
incident of his. career occurred the
other day coming from Buffalo.
"A typical countryman," said Cole
man to a Buffalo Express reporter,
got on at La Sale with a ticket for
Buffalo. He took a seat directly under
the box of tools which is provided in
all passenger coaches for use in case
of wrecks, and which has a sign ovel
it: In case of accident break the
glass. After riding some little dis
tance he decided. to open the window,
but very carelessly failed to latch it,
leaving if free to come down on his
fingers at the first jolt of the train,
which it promptly did. After releasing
his hand he took the small sapling
which he carried for a walking stick
and, getting up on the seat, proceed
ed to break the glass in the tool box
l ran up, seized him by the coat tails,
pulled him down. and shouted in his
ear: Those tools are for use in case
of accident only To which he ex-
claimed, with an expression of disgust
and pity for my ignorance: Wall,
didn't I jist mash my finger in that
window thar? If that amt an acct
dent, I'd like TO knowl'
u can see. our finish if bottles of
chloroform are placed in each coach,
as suggested by Mrs. Booth-Tucker, 3"
concluded Coleman.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
Personal.

Miss Alice Thaw's dowry will come
in handy in rehabilitating the Mar
quisate of Hartford, to which Lord
Yarmouth, her future husband, is heir
The estate was much impoverished BY
the alienation of good portion of its
resources to the natural son of the for
mer Marquis.
Everybody knows that Admiral
Dewey is as fine a sailor as ever paced
the weather plank, but not many are
aware that the hero of Manila is also
a clever whip. The Admiral owns a
pair of the most spirited horses in
Washington and he handles them with
the skill of veteran stage driver.
Mrs. Benjamin Harrison, widow of
the late President, proposes to sell to
Mr.. Ingersoll, the millionaire bachelor.
her beautiful home in the Adirondacks,
Berkeley Lodge. The place has ten
der associations for Mrs. Harrison, as
she and the late General planned it
together soon after their marriage and
spent every summer there, but she has,
it is said, received a tempting offer and
is considering it.
BY way of stamping with absurdi-
ty the report that Joseph Chamberlain
has accepted a peerage, it is pointed
out that King, Edward would not think
OF offering a peerage to a minister who
is within measurable distance of OBJ
tanning the premiership, nor would a
minister who is in such a position think
of transferring himself to the other
House unless he had decided to round
off his political career
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
------------7--3-
ORGANIZING FOR PENSIONS.

Is it possible to find a man for Pen
sion Commissioner who would be sat-
isfactory to the Union veterans? 1t
does not seem so. Throughout the
time that Commissioner Evans was at
the head of the Pension Bureau there
were complaints of his unfairness,
though the President was satisfied that
he was about the best commissioner
that ever held the Office. Finally the
President yielded and let Mr.. Evans
Goat least he found another place for
him, and appointed a Kansas man,
Capt. Eugene F. Ware, to the office.
Commissioner Ware does not give
satisfaction The old soldiers do not
seem to like him as we'll as they did
Commissioner Evans. They claim that
in the pension office he discriminates
in favor of young men, and has even
given preference to Southern men,
Also they say that the percentage of
the claims allowed is no greater than
it was under the Evans administration
and that the delay in allowing claims
is just as great.
have a change, and they are preparing
to speak their minds freely to the Ma
tional Republican Convention. But in
order to be in a position to speak with
authority they are effecting an organ
ization to take a hand in politics. The
regulations of the Grand Army of the
Republic do not permit that organiza-
- IL, k,,R t.
understood that the Grand Army sym
pathizes with and encourages this out
side political organization.
There isn't any use trying to salts
fy these old soldiers in the matter of
pensions. 1t is impossible to do so.
Every one of them that puts in claim
thinks it ought to be allowed without
an hours delay. They don't want
claims investigated. They want them
allowed. And if they could have their
way there would be other classes of
pensioners. In fact, everybody on the
Union side that took part in the. war.
in any capacity whatever, would be
given a pension.
1t is close on to forty years since
the Civil War and the pension charge
is as large now as at any previous
time, with no signs of becoming small
er. If the Pension Commissioners
should be guided by the wishes of pen
sion claimants the appropriation for
pensions would have to be much larger
than it is Still. it is probable that the
National Republican Convention will
promise whatever this soldiers politi-
| cal organization demands.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
BRIGHT BITS.

What do men do when they get
in the Legislature. pop?" why, they
do corporations, my son. "-Yonkers
Statesman.
-"Funniman has a dry sort of hui
NOR
Yes, his jokes are enough to. drive
me to drink, if that's what you mean. -
Town and Country.
Bah! Why do artists always rep
resent Fortune as a woman?"
Because of the way she smiles on
the rich fellows, regardless of their
other qualities. Puck.
Miss Dora Ito Major Putter. who
is playing an important match, and
has just lost his ball9-"Oh, Major, do
come and take your horrid ball away
from my little dog. He won't let me
touch it, and know he must be ruin
ing his teeth!"-Punch.
Father Crying to read): What's
that terrible racket in the hall?
Mother: One of the children Just fell
down the stairs.
Father: Well, you tell the children
If they can't fall down stairs quietly
they'll have to stop it.-Chicago Daily
News.
THE people of your country, I in
fer" said the passenger. with the for
eign accent, ARE confronted with a
race problem"
I'VE don't call it a problem the
man with the loud waistcoat respond
ed. "Raoin' nowadays is a game
Chicago Tribune
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
THE Political BEE AND MIR.
HANNA.

HANNA.
Mr.. D. NJ. Parry, president of the
American Association of Manufactur-
ers, does not think Senator Hanna is
in a position to condemn the address
which he delivered at the convention of
the association in New Orleans a few
days ago. and therefore he published
an interview yesterday in which he
spoke his opinion of Mr.. Hanna pref
ty freely.
1t will be recalled that Mr.. Parry, in
his New Orleans address, attacked
organized labor severely. In an ad-
dress at a banquet of the Amalga-
mated Steel Workers at Columbus, O.,
on Tuesday night, Mr.. Hanna criti-
cised Mr.. Parrys New Orleans ad-
dress, and said that the manufacturers
ward, to discuss the question
of union labor a man who did
not know anything about the
subject. Naturally Mr.. Parry felt
like saying something in reply to Mr..
Hanna that would make him uncom-
Portable.
The idea that Mr. Parry tried to
convey in his interview was that Mr..
Hanna, since the political bee began to
buzz in his bonnet, had changed his
views in respect to union labor, and
that he now seemed to be trying to get
the good will of labor with the. pur-
pose, apparently, of securing other po-
liticaI honors. Mr.. Parry did not say
that Mr.. Hanna was aiming at the
presidency, but that thought seemed to
be in his mind.
Mr.. Parry seemed to feel aggrieved
because Mr.. Hanna, having rounded
up the manufacturers in 1896 and taken
them into McKinley's camp on the
plea that if Mr.. Bryan and free silver
were successful the country would be
ruined, was now trying to take them
into the camp of Mr.. Gompers, the
head of the Civic Federation. In 9th
er words Mr.. Parry seemed to think
that Mr.. Hanna was trying to use
both the manufacturers and the labor
unions in the interest of his political
ambition.
We are not, of course, informed as
to Mr.. Hannas plans, but it is inter-
esting to know that he isn't in as high
favor with the manufacturers as he
was when he was advising Mr., Nc
Kinley. Then he was able to get from
them all the campaign funds he called
for. Unless Mr.. Parry doesn't speak
for the manufacturers Mr.. Hanna
wouldn't be as successful in getting
campaign contributions from them if
he were the Republican candidate for
President as he was when Mr.. McKin-
ley was the Republican candidate.
As matter of fact nobody seems to
be satisfied as to whether or not Mr..
Hanna intends to be a candidate for
the presidential nomination of his par
ty. Mr.. Hanna says that he will not
be a candidate, and yet there are sew
eral things that tend to contradict
him. One is his bill to give pensions
to ex-slaves, and another is his efforts
in behalf of organized labor. 1t may
be that he is simply aiming to bring
about a better understanding between
capital and labor. That is a commend
able undertaking, and if that is his
purpose he ought to have full credit
for it. It will be hard to make Mr..
Parry and the politicians, however,
believe that he isn't aiming at the
presidency.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
josh BiIlines, VIZ.

r. R, Beatty of Washingtonville. N.
Y, told me this story the other day,
says writer in the New York Press:
Il was well acquainted with Josh Bill
ings and his family when he was an
auctiOneer. He once sold lot of cows
for Mr.. Haight, who lived near Hack
ensack, generally known as Deacon
Haight because of his strong religious
principles-in which not great deal
of confidence was reposed. One of the
cows made bolt and ran square over
Joshua, knocking him down. He arose
in his wrath and ~began swearing,
whereupon Deacon Haight stepped up
and said: "Tut-tut, Mr.. Shaw; you
should not swear Josh scratched his
head and remarked: Well, deacon, you
pray little sometimes and l swear a
little. sometimes, but l think neither
of us means much by it."
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
NEGROES BETTER OFF IN THE
SOITTH

DR.. Lyman Abbott, who Is with the
General Education Board at Richmond,
stated in an interview in that city on
Wednesday, that in his opinion the re-
lations between the negroes and the
whites are much better in the South
than in the North, and that negro, if
he is honest, Industrious and reasona-
bly, intelligent, has, on the whole. a
better. chance in the South than he
has in the North. If he were a negro
he would, he said, rather live in the
South than in the North. This is I'M
doubtedly a fair statement of the race
question so far as it relates to the
treatment which the negroes receive
in the North and the South.
We have always contended, and still
contend, that while the Northern peo-
pie want to settle the race question in
accordance with their views of it, they
don't want the negro in their section
of the country. In other words, they
have no use for the negro. They have
shut him out of about all of the trades
and pretty nearly all of the occupa-
- - SAAAJ RuCSblOll Va IlIIlG
when only the most mental occupa-
tons will be open to him there. And
still there are Northern people, very
many of them, who seem to think that
the negro is not treated as we'll in the
South as he ought to be. They would
be justified in having an opinion on
the subject if they treated him better
in their own section.
DIR. Abbott has evidently given the
subject considerable thought. He sees
that there is no future for the negro
in the North, and that there is in the
South not only a more kindly feeling
for him, but also more opportunities
for him to better his material condi
ton. DR.. Abbott did not say in his
interview that it is much the
wiser plan to let the white
people of the South deal with
the negro question as seems best
to them. but that is the inference from
what he said. There is no doubt they
are willing that the negroes shall inn
prove their material condition and are
ready to help them to do it. There are
some things they will not consent they
shall have, but these things are not
necessary to their prosperity and hap
piness
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
NDEx TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meetings-Alee Temple, A. A. o. N.
NJ. S.; Mistletoe Camp No. A. Wood
men of the World: Palestine Comman-
derry No. Z, K. T.. University Cub
Special Understanding Nice
Groots New Market; Bids Wanted Tor
Ice. John E. Mcguire, Superintendent.
Uncle Mingo said-Falk Clothing
Company.
For Men Of Brains-Cortez Cigars.
Ladies, To-day Is Your Day-A. L.
Desbouillons.
Savannah Theater-Joseph Jefferson
Tomorrow Matinee and Night.
Silver Polish-The Gorham Company.
Foods-Postum Food Coffee.
Medical-Paracamph; Cuticura; VI
mol: Swamp Root.
Cheap Column Advertisement
Help Wanted; Employment Wanted;
For Rent; For Sale: Lost; Personal;
Miscellaneous.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
lust Girls.

They entered the car a flying wedge,
five of them, ages ranging from 10 to
q, says the New York Press. Each
had her suit case and her animation.
Mere men did not think to move. there
fore. the bevy had to split up. But a
little matter like that was no damper
on conversation. The one in the corner
cried to one in the middle of the car:
Frank, did you hear us talking in
bed last night?" 81 should say 1 did"
replied Frances. You kept the whole
house awake" did you hear us
Belle ?" "Oh, no; have no ears" said
Belle, from the other end of the car,
with sarcastic smirk. Il thought Sa-
die never would get through. But we
really did have a great deal to say to
each other" An old Irishman, taking
it all in, removed his hat obeisantly,
and asked; Now, girls, wont yez be
SO kind as to tell us what yez wur
tarkin' ABBOTT" Which remark was the
needed ollietuS.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
THE MORNING news is publi

THE MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year, and served to
subscribers in tie city. or sent by mail:
one week. Is cents. one month, 20 cents,
three months, $2.Oc, six months, $500.
one year. $500.
CHE MORNING NEWS, by mail, six
times a week (without Sunday issue),
one month, so cents, three months, Sl.bo;
six months, $500; one year. $500.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week (Monday and Thursday, by mall
one year. S10O.
Subscriptions payable In advance
Remit by money order, check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements. other than
local or reading notices, amusements
and classified column. 10 cents nne'
Fourteen lines of agate type-equal to
one inch i'll depths the standard OF
measurement. Classified column adver-
tisements cent a word each inser-
aion Every word and figure counted
No advertisement accepted for less than
Is cents week days, % cents Sundays.
Contract rates and discounts mace
known on application at business once
orders for delivery of the Morning
News to either residence or place OF
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 30. Any irregularity In
delivery should be Immediately report
ed. .s.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed .sSfoRNING NEWS" Savannah.
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, H. C. Faulkner. Man
ager.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24

The next prisoner was a hard looking
man with a bloated face and a six-days'
growth of beard on it, says the Chicago
Tribune.
THE charge against you" said the
police justice, sis that you were caught
with considerable quantity of jewelry
in your possession while prowling
through a house on Calumet avenue,
which you entered by climbing through
a second-story window. What have
you to say to this charged
IT'S all true enough, your honor, "
responded the prisoner, 81 am stu
dent of sociology, and I wanted to
know something of the way in which
rich people live, from the point of view
OF the porch climber"
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
FREIGHT AND PARCEL, CAR

Leaves east side Of City Market for Thunder
bolt, Cattle Park. Sandhy, Isle Of Hope ana all
intermediate points-9:I5 a. M, l;l5 p. M, 5:l5
p m. asses s:-s 80.
Leaves Isle of Hope for SandhY, Cattle Park
Thunderbolt and all intermediate points-6:00
q. m, 100 a. m, 8 100 D. m.
Freight car leaves Montgomery at $50 q. M.
and 2s5 p. M, connecting at Sandy with reg
ular parcel car for city.
Parcel car from the city carries freighv 70
Montgomery on each trip. -7--a4 d.. et4
81 Regular parcel car carries trailer on each
trip for accommodation Of passengers.
Any further information regarding passen
ger schedule or freight service can be had by
applying TO c. B. KIDDER, Manager
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24

The literary market must be looking
up; at least the market for Chicago
literary genius. Finley P. Dunno and
George AIDE within three or four years
have made fortunes with their pens,
and now George Barr McCutcheon bids
fair to duplicate their success. Nc
Cutcheon is the author of three novels.
Two of them have been published and
have made a "hit." The third is at
present in manuscript. A few days ago
it was offered to publisher. After an
hours interview it is alleged McCutch-
con came out of the publishers office
with check for $4,000 and a royalty
contract in his pocket.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24

In Cleveland, O., company has
been formed for the purpose of settling
ard developing Southern lands. It's
first settlement will be planted in the
counties of Onslow and Jones, North
Carolina, where it has purchased ESQ.,
600 acres of land. 1t is proposed to es-
tablish model farms and a model farm
village on the land. It is risking moth
ing to predict that the experiment will
prove a success The Western farmer
who comes South and brings his West
ern methods of agriculture with him.
is practically certain to succeed. We
hope the Ohioans will turn their eyes
to Georgia when they are looking for
more good lands TO be developed. They
are here in abundance.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24

Baron Speck Won Sternberg, Ger
many's diplomatic representative at
Washington, is mere minister pIeni-
potentiary. That being true, he is
ranked by every ambassador at the
capital and must stand Cor sit) away
down the line when there is a gather
ing of diplomats. 1t is the expecta-
ton TO have the foreign diplomatic
corps attend in force upon the dedica-
ton OF the exposition at st. Louis.
Should Baron Won sternberg's creden-
tails as ambassador fail to reach him
before that time he would have to sit
between the representatives of Turkey
and Venezuela at the banquet: and ev-
ffybody who Is informed with respect
TO social precedence knows that would
be terrible humiliation
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24

Instead of there being a reduction of
the sail area of Shamrock III as a con-
sequence of the buckling of her mast
Sir Thomas is going to clap on more
canvas. The new mast, which will
be braced inside. Will be five feet long
er than the old one. and on account of
this greater length the sale. area will
be increased to nearly 10000 square
feet
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-24
visions of that famous buckboard.

Visions of that famous blackboard,
the several fans, the cooling
draughts of lemonade and the
perspiring major general are once
more conjured up by the discovery and
publication of Gen. Skaters orders of
thanks to his troops after the battle
OF Santiago. The general takes credit
to the army for the whole thing. even
the naval battle. He says the army
forced the ships of the enemy to leave
the harbor, whereupon they were de-
stroyed: therefore TO the army is due
abe credit Of the victory. The general