Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-28
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gulse. Chicago Record-Herald.
The Explanation: HE says he moves
in the best society" 80 he does; he
owns furniture van."-Smart Set.
/ Quite Different She-And whae
would you be now If it weren't for my
money? He--A bachelor Bits.
Congratulations, Sarah,
I've been nominated. Sarah with de-
light)-Honestly? Politiclan-What
differences does that make? Detroit
Free Press.
Doctor-Want TO get up, eh? All, I
thought my medicine would fetch You
out of bed Tommy-Yes. an then.
besides, | seen circus poster.-P hila-
delphia Bulletin.
The Reward of Economy .--Kwoter
WHAT'S that old saying? Take care
of the pennies, and" Newitt--And
the dollars will take care of your heirs
Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. Jackson-Huh! Dat new tangled
coffee-mill yo' bought doan grind at all.
Mrs. Yeas its lax some hus-
bands. Expensive, goes aroun' lot,
! en- doan do no wuk.-Puck.
! Wederly-Why don't you get mar
ried? Singleton can't afford i&
Wederly-Can't afford Ill Why, when
was your age l was SO poor that
had to marry. Chicago News.
II won't be good, said Willy.
Then Santa Claus won't bring YOU
any presents" Wasn't / bad last
year, ard didn't get more'n everg"---
/ Cincinnati Commercal-Tribune
Knew what struck him. Daly-Ye
were sunstruck, We say? why man
alive, the sun could never distigure a
mans face like that Rney-Ye don't
know me son, DAILY. Brooklyn Life
Sword swallower YES, John has
quit accepting invitations to dinner at
the Bagsleys',n He has? Why, what's
the mStterY Gle says their knives
are so sharp they cut his mouth. Eek.
He-There is one thing in particular
like about spnsters. She And what
Is that? He-They never bore fei-
low by telling him how they used 60
do and that before he was born
New Yorker.
Disabled, why don't you ent your
pie, Uncle Reuben? Don't you like
pumpkin pier Yes, like il all right,
but that young woman you've got help
in you around here took my knife
away. "-Chieago Record Herald.
/ Bride (disconsoatelyl--H my we'd
ding presents are chcp plated things.
Mother-Neyer mind. my dear; no one
will suspect It, | have hired two de-
tectiyes TO make themselves consplcu-
GUS watching them New York Week
~.
Lady Visitor Ito little glrll-- What
became of the little kitten you had
here once? Little Girl Why, haven't
you heard? Lady Visitor No. Was
lie drowned? Little Glrl-Why. no. IL
growed up to be Illustrated
Bits.
was sitting with girl. telling her
she was the only one In All the world
( ! ever loved, and so forth, and so forth.
/ Cleverton-And she believed you,
didn't she? How could sho help It?
Why, 1 believed II myself Life.
/ Brand New: Mrs. Dove Henry, L
think you are positively cruel Here
I've tried so hard TO cook you nice
dinner, and you haven't had a word 10
say to me about IT, Mr.. Dove-Darling,
l love you too much for that IL I'd
said what thought, you'd never speak
to me again.-Boston Transcript
Setting Himself Right What de
you consider the greatest object OF In
terest in England" asked the inter
viewer, well" answered the great
lecturer from abroad, II arrived here
yesterday, and -- "Of course"
exclaimed the interviewer. Apologize
ally, II meant the greatest object OF
interest next 10 yourself " TIT Bits.
Miss Boosting 1t couldn't have been
very comfortable automoblling along
that back road yesterday Miss Flu1.
ey-Ohi did you see Mr. Huggard and
me? Miss BostIng Yes, and when
saw you, you were oscIlatlug from
one side to the other Miss Flurtey~-
Oh that's a 1b! The osculating was
all on his side Philadelphia Press
The Dominant Jan.tar. Mrs. McCAH
And what did you say yUIr eldest
boys full name was? Mrs Dg C0ursey
Michael Brauuigan De C0ursey.
Mrs Mccall Well eg- that's rather
odd Mrs. De Coursey Yes. but. you
see, wtien he was born we didn't want
10 move out Mr. Michael Brannigan
wa, the JanitorP Philadelphia Press.
lndannted.-Thcy dug the bruised
and battered form Of The Inventor out
lrom under the ruins al his lying ma
chine II want TO say. he whispered.
hoarsely, that nay invention Is going
to be a magnificent success, have
found out just what ails it, Waving
the surgeons away, he continued TO
talk to the reporters. Chicago Trih-
uue.