The Laclede blade., 1903-07-04
NEWS AND COMMENTS.
punsent Paragraphs Touching the Important
Events Of the Day.

corset trust has monopoly.
One David B. Hill seemf to hav
pulled the hole in after him.
Kansas farmers are unable to &c
enough people to harvest the crops.
That Indiana postmaster who stol
plow must have run short Of stamps
An exchange hilariously remark
that East St. Louis had large float
ing during the flood.
The walking delegates have taken tt
riding in automobiles. Hetty Greer
should arise and protest.
Peter of old walked upon the water
while his namesake of Servia swims ii
the blood of his predecessors.
The king of Spain is to inspect his
navy. The kid should have done that
before his dons blew up the Maine.
Emperor William has been praising
our navy. That's a little compliment
Spain neglected to pay us few years
ago.
Our brother monarchs across the
water are breathing easier. j. Pier
pont Morgan has returned to his ma.
tive hearthstone.
William R. Hearst's presidential
boom has collapsed. 1t was the big
gest fake this man of fakes ever per-
petrated upon the public.
It is rumored that Russia wants to
gobble up the whole Of China. Rat
soup is good dish, and the Russians
can stomach most anything.
The man who can successfully solve
the negro problem will win undying
fame. But we are afraid that it will
not be in our day and time.
Ifthe scum of Europe continues to
float into this country at the present
amazing rate the respectable element
will soon have to take boat and float
out.
A New York judge gives divorces
for given period. Now, if he will
just preform marriages for a given
period the marrying parson won't be
in it.
Rev. N. D. Hills declares that "our
white race is only sprinkled with civil
lization." Being smart man him
self we'd like to know where he class
es himself.
The good souls in Maryland are
panic stricken over the possibility OF
a race war. Even the sedate and dig
nifed Judges keep an eye on the back
of their heads.
If ever a governor was muzzled by a
law of his own making it is Penney
packer of Pennsylvania. The poor
devil don't dare to open his mouth for
fear of putting his foot in it.
Don't try to kick up a row with
Russia. We'el have a scrap right
here in our own country soon enough,
it will be between labor and capital.
The earmarks are very plain.
President Francis has the assurance
that a whole bunch of Kings and En-
perors will be at the st. Louis fair.
Not wishing to obscure their shining
lights we will probably remain at
home.
A French professor Of theology is
endeavoring to convince us that it is
impossible to tell lies under certain
circumstances. Which leads us to re-
mark that the theologin is somethingl
of a liar himself.
They say the czar is amazed at the
horrors of the massacre in Bessarabia.
The old boy is beginning to read the
American newspapers, and our spunky
editors usually say about what they
please-even of kings and emperors.
The latest fish story comes from
Main, to the effect that trout has
been caught with paddock in its
stomach aud Growers name on the
paddock. The story comes from Lake
Mooselookmeguntic, where short stor-
les and varacity flourish.
The Massachusetts supreme court is
called upon to decide as to whether
married man can be- sued for breach
of promise, he having been married
during the term of his gay period.
Dudes and fools will all breath easier
when they learn the decision.
Someone has suggested that the ne
groes all be colonized in the Philip
pine Islands, and it wouldn't be a
very bad idea. There has been so
much trouble of late over this vexa-
tious question that any reasonable So
luton would be a godsend both to