davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22

Jos. L. Meyer and Chas. L. Nelson
have formed real estate partnership.
with Office in the signor building.
Mr.. Meyer was for many years county
treasurer, ana knows the county
thoroughly. M. Nelson has done con-
siderable In the real estate line. It 10
q strong combination and should be
suoce1aful. ~>-.-
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22
Died

John Wait, for many years . promin-
It citizen of Todd county, died ct hie
me at Long Prairie Thursday last
eek. aged SO years. He leaves a
life and six children.
Charles Newsham, father Of Mrs.
linton Foster, died at Junista, Mob. I,
st sth, aged 81 years. He leaves q
life, one son and four daughter.
wing to sickness Mr.. Foster could
It attend the funeral.
E. A. Zuver died in Aitkin Mon
" morning. he leaves a wife and
70 children. Mr.. Zuver became de-
,nged few weeks ago and had been
ling since. He was very genial
an, and all who knew him will be
Try to learn of his untimely end.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22

Land Contract for Sale $780, bear.
ing Z per cent. Payment Of principe,
and interest guaranteed 49,.
Stephen g. Vasaly.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22

John Blair. who moved to Wash
ington recently with his family, after
selling his place in Swan River, has
bought quarter section In Adams
county. next too the farm Of his
brother Jerry, who has been out west
since $685. Mr.. Blair paid $3.50 for
his new farm.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22
CHEMICAL co. ELECTS OFFICERS

CdEMICAI co. ELECTS OFFICERS
Chemical Co. No. / cleo ted the fol-
lowing officers at the last meeting:
Foreman-E. s. Tanner.
First Asst. Geo. Schroeder.
Second Asst.-9eo. StilWell.
Sec. -Treas. M. Coleman.
Delegates to state convent ion-Geo.
Schroeder, Geo. Stilwell.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22

The Freshmen-Sophomore literary
oiety of the high school will hold
cir last meeting tonight.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22

Get paints, varnishes, stains, floor
lish, house paints, paint brushes
all kinds, kalsomining brushes, all
w stock, at
A. FLE1Gs.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22
FOR MEMORIAL DAY.

Workman Post, G. A. r. 1T q meet
ing Saturday evening, appointed .
citizens committee consisting of G. e.
Vasaly, G. Sheldon and ". n. Work.
man, to form with Commander G. A.
Ramsdel1 and Comrade J. q. Bur-
rail-, the committee Of arrangements
for Memorial day, Nay 80th.
The committee will meet at the city
hall tomorrow night.
J. G. Burial will be marshal of the
pay. Rev. G. A. Wallar will deliver
the memorial sermon on Sunday, May
81, at the Congregational church.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22

w. B. Jones has put In . new lawn
rvioe for the court house, There
Ill be two-inch main used, instead
= using the iron fence, which was
bjoot to freezing. !:
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22

It costs no moro. 70 own . home,
I'd pay for It In small monthly pay
ents. and soon have Il free and
All Of incumb1ance, than It does to
ut. For further particulars go
Stephen G. Vasaly
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22

Final school examination begins
xt Monday.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22

Geo. Epdsr who was operated On
for appendicitis ut st. Barnabas hospi-
sal, Miaasepolia on Nay 10th, IL ~
po1tod doing veil. p.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22

Engineer Cappellen commenced the
work Of estsblishing grades for streets
on Saturday. - 4. a.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22

Dependable clothing and shoes .
ices lowest In town At Viktor's'
Laundry. for sale.
Stephen G. Vasaly.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22
Mrs FL. 4. Conner visited her hus
band ct Park Rapids.

Mra Oscar Crosland and cl ildren
are visiting ct Dalton, MINI.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-05-22

Nelson's Photos are worth what the
OF,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-12-27

The weeks festivities were to end with grand
poetical contest All the bards Of the island
scribbing; at any rate, those who could write. But
this HOmeric competition endangered by dis
quieting brought the island by the fishermen.
rounding the northern coast Of Scotland, and
making toward the south. This unexpected ntelli-
gence seemed to change instantaneously the atti-
tude Of the islanders toward their two guests.
The Kings alertness of mind saved the situation.
He had brought with him from Stirling, in case Of
emergencies several sheets Of blank parchment each
bearing the Great Seal of Scotland. Once the
useful Macdonald was his amanuensis- A proclama-
ton in Gaelic written and the signature Of James
closed with communication containing directions to
the admiral of the fleet, and Macdonald entrusted
the packet to of mis- gies with orders that sail
should be set for Loeb TOrridOn, and the message
given to the officer command.
Three days later the ferment the island
UNNECESSARILY increased when the guard the head
land reported that ship of making direct
for the harbOr A hOrseman dispatched full gal
Top to DUnvegan Castle to inform the head of the
so soon by the approach Of beligerent vessel But
before the messenger ten miles on his way the
ceremony was over and done with The big ship
sailed maJestlcaly through the AarroyFs cast aSnor
and fired a salute A we-manned boat was lowered
and rowed to the shore There stepped from the boat
officer in splendid uniform, followed by Heuten-
ant and half dozen men of whom carried the
flag Scotland. This company marched the cross,
which stood i'm the center of the village and the
crowd sueny followed, with Malcolm Macleod at
their head not knowing what the action Of the naval
officer might portend, and, in absence of definite
their chief hesitating to oppose this in
land march Many of those on the fleet were High
landers. and the second in command of them
This mounted the three steps at the foot Of the
cross and stood with ms back against the upright
stone His chief handed him roll of parchment,
and the subordinate officer, in a load voice, and in
a proclamation from His Most Excellent Ma
jesty. James the Fifth of Scotland God save the
KING"
At this the chief officer raised his sword in salute
and his up a cheer. but the aggregation
not seconded by any Of the large concourse there
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-12-27

gathered together. Undaunted by this frigid receD
ton, the officer unrOed the manuscript and read it,
in voice that reached to the furthest out
skirts of the crowd:
e. James Of Scotland lawful king Of this realm
DO proclaim to all loyal subjects that the safety and
liberty OF my land depends on an incompetence Meet
that merit of the consists in stout. We
built ships; therefore theman whom the King, de-
light TO honor is he whose skill produces the best sea-
going craft, j hereOn inscribe the name of Mall
colin Macleod master shipbuilder man who has
designed and constructed a boat Of which all Scot
tventy-six oars planned by Malcolm Macleod and
built FOR him by the people of SKYE. viii be used as
The reader looked up from his parchment and
gazed the assembage.
"Is Malcolm Macleod here?" he asked. let him
step forward"
The giant somewhat dazed. walking like man in
dream. approached the foot of the cross The Of
dcr rolled the proclamation and presented it to the
shipbuilder, saying:
From the hand Of the King to the hand Of Nal
colin Macleod
Malcolm accepted it. muttering. half with smile.
"E-god the King knows good boat when he
Then the officer uplifted his sword and cried:
God save the King!" and now the hills around
re-echoed with the cheering.
The little company without another word retraced
their steps to the small boat and made for the ship
which facing outward, anchor hOisted and
sails spread once more, the watching Hghlanders
the west wind which brought her into the harbor took
her safely out again
fckleness of the popuace- Heretofore, MacDon-
aid had truly said. no one had good word to say
for the King; now it was evident that James Of
Scotland was the greatest and wisest monarch that
sat a throne.
Malcolm Macleod had been always SO proud OF
his skill that this proclamation could hardly augment
self-esteem. but it suddenly changed his views
garding his august overload In conversation ever
after it became, Il and the King" and he was al
most willing to admit that James was very nearly as
great a Alexander Macleod of Dunvegan.
Copyright, by Robert Barr
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-12-27
THE GENIAL IDIOT.

is made by a newspaper Of the Cazoo's standing edi-
torally il is ten shot the thing is going
happen If you saw it in the news columns you might
doubt it, but the editorial page it's inevitable For
a betting man it's almost a thing. when paper
like the Gazoo does not hesitate to affirm it fact
The editor of that journal is safe and conservative
man, and when he that next Friday Will be the
first day Of the New Year you make up your mind
that ne hascOnsuted the authorities and is his
ground. I remember last year he announced whole
week in advance that Washington's birthday would
watched the situation myself, and days later,
exactly as he had foretold. the thing came about.
From Maine to California, from Texas to Minnesota
from Portland Ore 20 the Waldorf Astoria. that day
WashingtOn's birthday There going back
IL. Washington himself could not have changed it
without lying. tell you. gentlemen, accuracy of state
ular line the sunday GazOo Outsrips its every
temporary. The the Gazoo is ever correct
say frankly that If the 18th of June 1904
IL should announce that a week and half hence
versary of nations independence I'd almost be
lieve it,"
'Of course you would. So would T. without the al
most. said the Bibhomaniac, sarcasticaly. Because
with calendar in my hand, I'd know that within
seven and three and half days OF June 10 1904 the
one hundred and sXtysecOnd anniversary of July the
Fourth. 1776could fail to be there That isn't news
Its arithmetic
But you see reconstructed the Idiot -it isn't
really because the fourth July comes always
dred and siXty-second anniversary our nations in
dependence cannot possibly arrive In these
scorching days, until 1888 don't believe President
Roosevelt himself could change that If he
inclined to do You can't monkey with an arith-
metical proposition"
You take up on a technicality." growled the
Bibhomaniac. you know well enough what mean. ?"
Really don't" said the idiot. When a man says
that l16 suhtracted from 1904 leaves 49, can onIv
conclude that when ne to school he devoted his
time to botany and dancing. Do you dancer"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-12-27
BY John
KendriCk Bangs

ly perform I think If performed anputatiOn
the point where your cerebelum is Joined to your
shoulders, make successful start I'm inclined
thing your heart is all right. 7 never suspected
your lungs of weakness The difficulty lies wholly IN
your head. Cut that of and you'd be a very decent
sort"
THAT sounds attractive" said the Idiot. But
don't quite agree to your proposition that with
a head would be a decent sort Fact is, he'd be
mighty unpleasant sort particularly at the table How
would you like it, Mr.. WhitechOker. sitting opposite
to a chap who'd left his head UPSTAIRS How could
do justice to Mrs. Pedagog's uneouaed buckwheats?
How could 7 appreciate the delectabe aroma Of her
surprising cOffee2 And above all. with head and
therefore my gone, how could drink i'm those
riods Of wisdom you gentlemen so generously lavish
this board from time to time? Nay. nay. Doctor
Your treatment is too heroic. But this VIII do-In
cut down verbOsity for the new year. Instead Of
talking an the time at breakfast. I won't talk more
than half the time promise you that for twelve
months shah eat five bUckwheat cakes at the close
Of every nth sentence, and save YOU all portion,
least Of this and tear upon your nervous sys
tens"
You couldn't stop talking if you tried" said Mr.
Brief. you have the gift Of continuously. Words
bubble up from the well-spring Of your iarynN like
froth from a bottle of champagne
There Mrs. Pedagog." said tho Idiot Ut Is up 70
YOU to help these gentlemen out Of their difficulty
Hereafter at breakfast, my dear madame instead Of
giving them coffee"
'eYes2' said Mrs. Pedagog.
Administer ether. 1t viii ease their sunerings,"
said the idiot.
Copyright, 1909, by John Russell Davidson.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-12-27

Suppose one of the small seeds of verbosity from
hastily eaten vocabulary TO lodge in mans YER
inform appendiX-wOuld it Kill him.
Il think anything unripe this would be IN your
case, would prove fatal said the Doctor But 1
shouldn't worry. There's evidence anywhere that
you take words On the contrary you are eternaly
pouring them forth. don't think could keep one
in you mouth long enough to swallow it."
Thank you" said the IDIOT. You relieve mind
of an awful apprehension. had almost made my
mind to words off forever after that dreadful
picture the Bibiomaniac had painted
Far be from deprive the world of the beue
fits your activities in word culture, my dear idiot
said the Bbliomaniac with "a smile. 1T is only when
you make little missiles of your words and pet me
say that If had WOrd-mOngers like yourself
it would be better for the language, for in cOntem
plation of the Technology we should be forced
into greater appreciate zion of the classic beauties or
isfy my what is fine. SO il is that really
md value in you When you talk / understand
the s0res of silence. When take in your philosophy
realize the deep wisdom of the thinkers of other
days"
Thanks awfully, old fellow" said the Idiot. IT
feel easier that YOU have spoken, and am only
happy learn that helpful to YOU in the daily
round your existence. had begun fear from the
New Year you might be inclined TO me or
1T would be useless 10 try said the Bibliomaniac,
for, in the language of Hamlet:
'Tis best bear the Ills we have
Than fly those know OF.
I'm used to you. Some other Idiot might get more
on my nerves"
Hear hear" cried the Doctor. That's senti-
ment that does you credit, Mr. Bib feel the same
way about it myself Swear. off the Idiot? Never.
There's worse thing than he I'm this life. The thing
for to resolve for the coming year is not to eschew
him, but to reform him.
by Jove that's bully idea" cried the Idiot.
Where shall begin ] wOnder2
We'll for part" said the Doctor .I think il
will require pretty serious operation. but win glad
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-12-27

II do not" retorted the Biblomaniac, plunging into
his coffee cup.
"Or bOt?" asked the Idiot
"What?' demanded the BibIiomaniac
Bot said the Idiot. do you go in for botany?"
Tut gasped the Bibliomaniac, growing apoplec-
tic. You surpass the limit
Thanks said the Idiot, calmly I'm not myself
a student Of botany. and if have said anything often
sive the subject of that science, sorry. But
to return to our muttOns another year is about
dawn upon although it but yesterday that
outions have lasted Did yours prove be cOlOrs
Mr. Bib. or did they begin to crock and fade ere Feb
ruary passed into the sere and Yellow
81 have stuck to them closer than postage stamp
I'd preserve my equannity in the Of all your
surd eX-cathedra statements. and the that
under no circumstances should lose my temper
Good" the Idiot ''As to the latter can tes-
tify haven't lost the bit your temper
MI Bib; fact is think you've added it: bat
to preserving your equanimity, I don't know; I
never knew you had any equanmity-you haven't
brought it with you to the breakfast table have
your
Rot" retorted the Bibomaniac. Il don't believe
you know what the word equanimity means.
Maybe not-iets see, unused the Idiot ''Its a
compound word derived from horse. and initO
initiate isn't IL? Equne-imitate-in imitation of
q horse eh2 That's it2 It's idiomatic significance is
that YOU take the vexatiOns Of life calmly just
horse does"
Dear mel" cried Mr.. Pedagog. rs there anything
YOU can't do with language? That's the most round
about way Of getting at the precise significance of
term that heard Of"
His is the little learning that constitutes the dam
gerous thing" sneered the Bibiomaniac. some day
he has to few of those marvellous words
Of his he'll wish he'd left em alone II there's any
thing dreadful in this world than acute attack
one Of those words should happen to stick his
inform appendix, believe he'd be beyond hope of re-
cevery."
How about the Doctor?" asked the Idiot pIaeidly
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-12-27

o5w HATS THE NEWS this morning. asked
NWA the Poet as the Idiot put the newspaper
EHH aside and began his onslaught upon his
~ breakfast.
Nothing sensational" replied the Idiot "The
Dutch have decided to retain Holland there is hope
for the recovery Of Louis XIV and the signal people on
Nantucket island report trace of the Santa Maria
or any the other of the gray hounds of Columbus
feet. To is feared they wiz never turn up
How very interesting" observed Mr. Brief But
all foreign Isn't there item two of domes
tic information you could give us?'
YES" said the Idiot. Mark Hanna says that An
drew Jackson can't be elected president again. il
the western states and New England Jennie Lind has
lost her voice. Fernando Wood expresses surprise
at Lows defeat and General Washington. through
friends has warned President Roosevelt avoid
alton"
Good" cried the BibHomaniac. And how is the
French revolution progressing
THE last heard of the French revolution. said the
Idiot twas that It had been lassoed by a Corsican
named Bonaparate who took IL his lodging at Nu-
BIS Rue de VooleyvoO and put it 70 sleep. 1t
IS expected to break again for several weeks
Its nice TO be so full OF current Information said
the Bibiomaniac. II suppose Mr. Idiot you tell
Gus something fresh about China?"
don't know how fresh t is Mr.. Bib" returned
the Idiot that u.s. 70 YOU but Confucus is dead; pig
tails no longer worn la pompadour yellow jack
cts this viii not be made of pink pongee and
lady named Bridget broke three day before yes
terday. thanks to broken dumb-waiter rope, place
snd precise time unknown"
Three sets of what?' asked the Bibliomaniac
China" said the Idiot we were talking about
China, nOt2"
There isn't anything in the paper about New
Years is there2" asked the Doctor.
YES" said the Idiot it's all right They've decided
20 it. The sunday GazOO says editoTiaIly. Next
Friday viii be the first day Of the New Year So you
count on it, II positive statement Of that kind
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-12-27
COULDN'T SAY.
CJudge)

(Judge)
Citizen-You say you don't know what time the next
traiu viii leave for Podunk? Amt you the station
me ster?"
Ticket Agent Flanney--Nes. If I was the walking
delegate OF the trainmen's union might tell YOU
There's strike this rOad."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-12-27

the self-esteem Of his COM
rade, but they consider
him merely a boy. of small
weight in their affairs
one way or another. They
neither fear him nor respect
him. The real monarch Of
these regions is the humpback
of DunVegan Castle: and even
if they knew you were king,
your sternest command would
have no effect against his
slightest wish. unless you had
irresistible force at the back
of you"
"Ah, Jamie, you are simply
trying to justify the bringing
of the feet round Scotland.
Indeed and 7 am not. The
only use to which YOU can put
your feet viii be to get you
away from here in case Of
trouble. AS far as its force is
concerned, these islanders
would simply take to the hills
and defy it."
''Ah. we'll" said the King,
81 viii make them think bet
ter of me before 1 am done
with them -
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-12-27
ON NEWS AND
NEW YEARS.

6SvHATs THE NEWS this morning. asked
NWA the Poet, as the Idiot put the newspaper
HhH aside and began his onslaught upon his
Al breakfast.
The independent. [volume] (Lincoln, Neb.) 1902-1907, 1903-10-01

Phrase-making has a great deal to do
with controlling votes. If a phrase
sounds well thousands accept it and
act upon it, whether it be true or
false. Governor Odell of New York
in recent speech said: "A man
with grievance is always to be
avoided" and Immediately every null
let head in the land answered back:
Yep, that's So" Franklin, Washing
ton and few other men like them had
grievance some 127 years ago. Were
they to be avoided? Abe Lincoln, Sew
ard, Chase and some others had
grievance some 40 yeas ago. Should
they have been avoided? Some hum
dreds of thousands at the present
time have grievance because the
trusts watered stocks and stole their
money. Are all of these to be avoided?
pafrOnizn o,ir advarficnre