The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-07-20
HUM0R OF THE DAY.

Mrs Cudahy-They tell me Mike has
lost his job, Mrs. Cassidy.
Mrs. Cassidy-Not exactly lost it Mrs
Cudahy. They'll take him back, 1 think.
He's Just sort Of mislaid it for the time
bein', as Y might say.-Exchange
Sure said Patrick. rubbing his head
with delight at the prospect OF a present,
i always name to do me duty"
i believe you, replied his EMPLOYER:
and therefore l shan make you a present
year"
80, Thank an your honor" replied Pat; land
trate you as literally Bits
Missionary-our situation was so remote
white face but my own.
Sympathetic Young Woman-Oh, poor
thing !-fxchange-
sheaHas your roommate an ear for
He-Worse: he has two hands and
mouth.-Harvard Lampoon.
cigars are named after famous men.
La Moyne (smokng)-Yes; it's lucky for
the manufacturers that the famous men
are all Observation-Disclosures Record.
wife-Tm tired to death-been having
the baby's photograph taken by the in
Simultaneous process.
Husband-How long did it take?
Wife-About four hours.-Exchange
Miss Ethel is a long time coming down.
said the youth to the servant, after wait
ance Perhaps" he added, with a laugh
perhaps she is making up her mind
whether to see me or not"
NO" said the Rservant with an icy
smile, 'it is not her mind she is making
up."-Tit-Bits.
Said the Fourth of July, with a terrible
since we have so greatly increased.
1t is all can do with my rounds to get
Before it's the Fifth in the East"
"A woman can never keep anything to
had been repeating something he didn't
ooh, yes, she cam" said Mrs Danboy.
I'D like to know what it is" he
cts her real and private opinion of her
husband. Exchange.
Bellows-Does your daughter play on the
piano?'
Old Farmer lin tones of deep disgust-
No: sir She works = ont, on it. pounds on it.
over on it; but there's no play about it,
sir.''-Tit-Bits.
Wife, ought to go to bed. for I'm
aWfuliy sleepy, but p m hungry. too;
brought home titbit today, and left it
in the back kitchen.
wife--It's dark out there; you'll find
Husband-Oh, I can find it in the dark
It's Limberger cheese.-Philadelphia Press.
ct is costing Sir Thomas Upton a
great deal of money to race for the Amer
icas cup" said Topsail
True. but in any event he won't be
compelled to walk home added Spanker
Town Topics.
Cicero said the lawyers wife, fidget-
ing about in a fruiuess effort to WOO
sleep. which is the best side to lie on?'
The side that puts up the biggest re-
me with siliy questions '-Houston Post
'sThe climate up here in Canada is de-
lightfully healthy, isn't it?'' said the new
''As. to that" guardedly replied the
and green goggles. 1T depends on how
where You came from. Chicago Tri-
bune. ~
When girl is in doubt as to which man
squeezed her hand in the dark it is be-
cause she hopes it was the one who didn't
do it--New York Press
$50 you took the fun college course, did
you? Do they teach the modern Ian
.Betcher iifel German. m French. m
Spanish, n Eyetalian, n exry other old
Tribune.
FIRST Graduate-WeiL O1u man, II all
over now, and it's up to US. What do you
propose to do for a living2
Second Cfradua te-Oh. the same thing.
First Observation-Disclosures that?
Second Graduate-The old man.-Balti-
more American.
Parson johnson latter the collection
I am glad ter see dat de congregation am
contributin' mo- literally dan TO some
weeks past. In de collection terday am
five white vest buttons dat looks like real
pearl Dis gratifyi11, increase. 6 Soer the
lar buttons ugurs well 70 de future OBJ dis
sCciety.-Judge.