The sun., 1903-05-31
remember hearing Jim Breslin describe

the ladder and worked hls way up. NOW,
the difference between jim Bresin and
myself is that while he began at the bottom
Of the ladder and slowly worked his way
up began at the top Of the ladder and
have been rapidly working my way down.
ward ever since.
But the ladder began at the top Of was
the stepladder, and the way Of it was this:
When first embarked in the hotel business
! said to dear old Garrison:
y want to learn this business thoroughly.
was in the first flush Of early youth
then, and had childish notion that hotel
man ought to be conversant with the de-
tails Of business. Well, Mr. Garrison looked
mo all over and took in the full details of
NY Gothic style OF architecture. and he
said
Nature Las not been very lavish to you
in the matter of feshly charms, but she has
evidently intended you for some purpose.
and, in my opinion, that purpose is to per
tectly adapt you to going up stepladder.
crawling over a transom and opening the
door in cases Of suicide
Well, naturally l was dazzled at the
brilliant prospect which ! saw opening
l"forc me. and flung myself into the work
with all the abandon Of youth; and think
may say. without being accused OF undue
vanity. that when it comes to crawling
over transoms there is no man in the pro-
iession who is my peer. There are men
famous all over the country as hotelkeepers.
hut none Of them could ever hope to achieve
distinction at crawling over transorns.
And speaking of suicides-1 always wax
rlou,ient when I get on this subject. for 1t
is one with which l am thoroughly con-
veysant-it is strange that. with all the new
ard beautiful hotels which have Of late
been erected. our old place still continues
10 be the favored resort for that class OF
,rade. Indeed, l sometimes think that
rhese beautiful palaces rather boom the
industry, for when a man has spent a day
or two at one OF these palaces. and has
received and paid his bill. he has nothing
left to live for; and what more natural
than that he should wish to blow his brains
OUT
We have never catered TO this class Of
trade We have never written letters to
prospective suicides at our hotels. inviting
them to come with us at reduced rates.
and yet, when man feels that 1t is time
for him to make a cut, and shuff1e OF his
mortal coil, it seems perfectly natural for
him to drift into our hotel, unostentatiolis
though 1t be.
1t is a comparatively easy class Of trade
10 satisfy. They do not stop to inquire
whether the plumbing is modern or antique.
They do not ask whether their rooms are
decorated in the style Of the First Empire
or the Seventh Ward. Give them a good
six-foot gas burner about 800 feet Of
Illuminating gas At 41.25 a thousand. and
a few uninterrupted moments, and they are
content.
Not long since came into my Office ono
morning and found gentleman there
simply boiling with rage. 1t seems that he
had Just been married--indeed. had spent
the first night OF his marital career under
our roof. On arising in the morning he
had been told by some busybody that the
room which he occupied had, on the pre- viois
day, been occupied by two persons who
had committed suicide therein.
He was very indignant. l endeavored
tn pacify him. I said:
My dear sir. you would scarcely expect
us to put a silver plate on the door and
silver handles and consecrate the room
TO the memory of the dear departed. We
are conducting hotel, not cemetery"
But he was very indignant. and made
shrinking, sensitive organization.
| once had peculiar, dazzling suicide at
my place in which two persons quenched
the vital spark and destroyed new Wilton
carpet simultaneously. This accident was
splendidly written up in one of our leading
journals, with lovely portraits Of the prin-
cjpnls fevolved from the imagination of
the artist.
fratk Sror ole ntaI 1,a~
with brief synopsis OF my life. l shall
never forget my wife's exclamation Of
delight when the article was shown her,
and her simple. unaffected joy and pride at
seeing my picture side by side with the
deceased were truly touching.
1t is needless to say that for long time
thereafter our place was thronged with
suicides. and all without costing US a cent.
So | never let an opportunity pass to say
good word for newspaper men.
always have tender spot in my heart
toward newspaper men. What would hotels
do without them? Whenever we have
fire or a robbery or a suicide. who is the
first to fly to us in the hour of our affliction?
The newspaper man. And he proceeds to
give us big sendofr. ! say "send-ofY. 1"
for it generally has the effect of sending
of a lot OF star boarders
It's no trouble at all to beat hotel. The
'aw says we must take any one who comes
without regard to age, color or previous
condition of servitude. The only thing
We can look to is the baggage,
All a beat has to do is to present himself
with fair array Of baggage. We take him
to our BOSOM
After few days. or weeks, or a month,
according to the custom of the particular
hotel concerned he is asked to pay. He
hasn't any money. A remittance he eI-
pected hasn't come.
We hold the baggage, He skips. We
open the trunk and find a soiled handker-
chief and three dirty collars. There we
are! We can go to the law. What good
will 1t do US in nine out Of ten cases!
Some Of the beats are not sharp enough
TO work the thing that way. They remove
their baggage or property piecemeal. II
we can catch them doing that with intent
10 defraud the law can hold them in criminal
proceedings. but it is almost impossible
to nah a depArtinp guest under such condi-