The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-31
THE NONPARElL MAN
Casually Observed.

Casually Observed
Franks skull was fractured and sew
eral ribs STAYED in. A large wad OF meat
was gouged out of him. one eye is gone
and ne may pull thru, but he said before
he lost consciousness that it was one OF
The prettiest tackles it had ever been his
pleasure to be mixed UP in.
Mrs. Dayis-Doll isn't much of d sport.
She wants her money back.
K II mans holiness is in proportion to
the luxuriance of his whiskers, as the
Holy Rollers imply, some of us news paper
dudes will never get within haiiing dis
lance of the gates.
The who's Who in America book
shows that there are only 14,44s Who's.
The rest of us are simply why's.
DR.. Dowie must have frightened Sister
Nation into hatchetless desuetude. She
hasn't been heard of since.
It is pretty hard to tell which we enjoy
most, a football game or an attack OF
muscular rheumatism.
You may remember that when Mary
MacLane got just dead tired and ennuled
with Butte and life she remarked in that
taking feminine way Of hers in her book,
20 damn, damn, damn This is not ex-z
acty what DR.. Dowie says when he Is
stirred, but 1t seems, at distance, to
have something of that flavor with dash
more Of excitement in it.
Alfred Austin, says the cable, has writ
ten tragedy That's what most of them
are that Alfred writes if we're any judge.
poetry entitled Gold Consolation It
runs thus:
There may be some consolation to the easy-going
Who at losing coin last Saturday feels sore,
In knowing that Doc Williams, in the game with
Will give no orders for a little score.
We trust DR.. Williams enough to believe
that he is not trying to hold Minnesota's
score down o-day. -- =
Lowell Otus Reese of the San Francisco
Bulletin has reached kind of promised
land He sings as follows:
No wife to fear, money in the bank,
No steak buy, yelling kids spank
A free lunch counter always ready to my hand
Say amt dwelling in the promised land?
Well, perhaps; but
French lumbermen are now chopping
down trees by means of a platinum wire,
heated white hot by an electric current,
and used like saw. No sawdust is pro-
duced, and tie slight carbonization caused
by the hot wire acts as preservative of
the wood. Moreover. the new method
brings down tree in one-eighth of the
time consumed by the old process. In
addition to that it cuts the tree close to
the ground and saves wood - - o.
The president was 45 years of age Tues
day. He is very bright young fellow
and will make a name in the world yet.
A New York lnspatch says: 3.
sentiment in Wall street was helped
greatly to-day by the announcement Of
the f1otatiOn of two fair-sized bond is
Sues r...-. ~.
~ Seems it, almost anything ought TO
float In Wall street now, SO much water
has been squeezed out. 49, +
Striking press feeders in Chicago are
smuggling women who have taken their
places. Several women have been serious
~ beaten and left unconscious .>-
Uncle Irl Hicks is turning out brand
of real William Norris hand made
weather.
A1gernon Sartoris wants to jump on Ca
NADIA and annex the whole place way up
to the Arctic sea before Canada gets next
to what is going= on: He says grandpa
thought it ought to be done too. Grandpa
as you know, was General Grant. If grand
pa thought anything Of this kind he never
voiced it, Grandpa was very cllary of his
words. He knew to perfection the fine
art Of keeping still. Grandpa never let out
loud asinine bray echoing from sea to
sea-. Grandpa was wise. He did things
while the small. cheap fry talked about
doing things. We like grandpa's meth
DDS.
We were made happy yesterday by, the |
receipt of sample copy of the Rev. 1ri |
Hicks paper ''Word and Works. in which, |
he fixes the weather for November. There |
is nothing like having your weather nicely |
laid out for you so you may know exactly |
what to do on a given date. We used to |
laugh at Fiicksy, but since he hit the ecli-
mate SO accurately for this month Of Oct t
ober we have grown thoughtful. Perhaps
Mr. Hicks knows something we do not /
Such a condition of affairs would astonish I
US greatly. still it is a possibility. Mr.. I
Hicks in his leading editorial shows how |
the path of the zodiacal stars and plan |
cts during our winter nights, is the path /
of the sun during our summer days. while I
the path of zodiacal stars and planets dur /
ing our summer nights, is the path Of the t
sun during our winter days, all of which /
are caused by the inclination Of the earth's I
axis, and by the fact that earth is on OPP /
posite sides of the sun in summer and
winter He then adds:
If You will stick to every OF these facts
as we go along, YOU will come to be
fair astronomer in this world and your chances |
for advancement and promotion will be much |
greater in the world to come. Don't you think i
the knowledge acquire in this life will serve [
us good turn when We get out OF the hamperinE
of flesh and dirt? do. II you /
don't give us credit for some such motive In
our constant labor to help You grasp these things
and learn the higher lessons that ought TO result
from them. You never yet have done us justice, I
yon do not know correctly appreciate. your
man. The price of Word and Works and our I
almanac. or million of them. is a beggarly esti- /
rate of the present and eternal good we are striv-
ing to do every thoughtful and devout readeF.E
This shows that Mr. Hicks heart is In (
the right place. We shall not put our up
per forty under the ploW this fall without
the almanac. A. j. X.
SOME HATS AND A POET