The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-01-04
FUN OF The WORLD.

FUN OF THE WORLD.
AT time jury was being before Judge
Pound OF Lincoln Nebraska and OF the lawyers
quite bit drunk and very lippy during the fore
neon. At the hour tanked up with
much larger jag active When called
order for trial in the afternoon befud
died to frazze and noisy. Judge says: Now
sit down and let try the csseT What's
trouble judge Well trouble is you prac-
tice at two bars at once. "
II q xx
The keeper in attelGsnce a guest Norfolk
shooting recently looked with disgust the
away here there and everywhere but birds fell.
Aim igher.' advised keeper.
Still the birds untouched
1T ain t the sun sir and it amt the cartridges.
remarked the Norfolk Try shuttn' your right
instead of the left.
But not a pheasant fell
The birds is very strong the wing this year" lie
remarked. but there's chance. II you.
sir. should ave with both eyes shut"
An Irish jarvey driving with English visitor.
who was on his way 70 spend Christmas with
relatives IN Ireland bitterly cold day in December
through the wilds Connemara. They became quite
sCciab,e way. native. burst OF conf
dence pointed shebeen where the best potheen
in Connacht might be Engiishulan, only
too glad opportunity of warming himself
offered refreshmen which offer readily accepted.
" 'Tis cold day in these .Pat?' observed
the tourist.
It's Yer honour" replied Pat. he raised his glass
and the speedily there's troth
in the ouid sayin. he suggestivey added. smacSins
his lips, "One swallow never made a summer.
z < Z
Four were walking single file through one OF
her majesty's dockyards when they met by the
admiral superintendent. who asked the foremost
where they going
Going o the dock. eur" said he.
WHIT for?' asked the admiral
.Carryin q plank there, zur.' replied he
PLANK, pianh.' exclaimed the officer; where's the
plank
man. look of embarrassment turned to his
fellow workmen, and cried:
I'm jiggered. mates. haven't away with
i'm
They had both been newsboys. but one OF them had
risen to the dignity OF the propretorshp of small shop
where in addition liberal display of contents. bills
OF magazines and newspapers he found for
casional theatrical In for showing these.
lie day presented with a ticket for the
gallery theatre, erstwhile
the with him
The play Hamlet" and the watched 1t close
~ silent surprise
In the last after Hamlet has killed Laertes
and the king, and the has died of poison and
Hamlet of poisoned wound of the round could
himself longer. Turning his friend rap
he said: "Golly. Jim. wha: a time that
must have been for extra specials
A London day playing at Dunfermline
when an old weaver and asked the bandmaster
what air they playing
Nelson,
master solemnly.
'Ay. replied the weaver .ye has gien him an
awfu' death"
<
Il clerk in the traders at Pawnee
agency years" said a Detroit grocer
the other day. of course had a good chance TO
study the Indian. There a chief named Leaning
Tree who never smiled laughed. He had curiosity
He had interest in anything belonging white
whisky he thing 0
stone could find. and ais imperturbability vexed
i made my mind day him perish
The chief used every morning
and sit al empty barrel the porch. put half a
pound of powder under that barrel and summers
morning Leaning Tree took up his waited
about fifteen minutes then fired the Ten
minutes later there explosion that sent the chief
twenty high and away and of there
a rush every side learn what had happened.
The old chap have felt his hair being
greatly mystifed, he got UP slightest
loss of dignity and when asked explain he struck
breast and replied:
Heap lghtnng--heap srike-heap go up but
heap hurt me: Let thunder come
His dignity thing me-" said
former trader There investigation. and they
would have made it hot for but when the officers
questioned Leaning Tree he proudly answered:
No powJer-no blow up. Lightning -thunder-esrth-
quake-bfg wind But I child be afrad7
rel-humph, Powder-humph.'
x
Among the most noted guides in the Adirondack
Chick Bruce whose skill In fully equaled
by his absolute veneraton for prominent persons
is related that Grover Cleveland once made hunting
trip under guidance Of Chick Bruce. While waiting
for o bring fat deer within grnshot
tho chief executive calmly log baskng in the
with nuzzle of his shotgun resting against
his heart. Chick, noticed the situation and roared
You Is that gun loaded which
Grover in a very humble replied that II
an found full cock. We'll. suppose you
killed yourself What do you think they would do
me? Dont you I'm a Republican,
The Woman Of Forty.