davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
EolIv Needed Punishment.

Russell King o. Senator Fairbanks
Office staff has q very sweet little
daughter, who, like many another lit
tie girl, possesses great liking for
Jelly. TIE other day Mrs. King made
glassful of jelly and placed 1t in the
pantry to cool. 1t proved loadstone
of attraction to the little one, who
could not resist the temptation, when
ner mammals back was turned, OF put
ting her finger in it. She quickly
withdrew it. as it was still very hot.
Dancing with pain she exclaimed:
Mamma, if I do that again, I'll spank
my Gsspsslf, you. bet I will"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
ENGLISH Architecture.

MI It is q curious fect that the most
artistic modern houses in England are
those Of the very wealthy and the
rery poor. The rich are building their
own; the poor, in few favored places,
10 having theirs built for them, and
In their different ways they are the
nearest approach we have to model
homes. Between these extremes comes
faho great wilful and tnartistic middle
sssaelass. for whom there is being pro.
vfded on all hands architecture which
J would be laughable were it not SO sad.
- Ondon letter. g.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
Directing the Rainfall.

The Mandans, a tribe Of American
Indians, have a curious custom as re.
garJs producing and stopping rain.
This business is mainly il the hands
Of the young men, who volunteer to
stand in turn upon the roof Of. a hut
from sunrise to shutdown vociferously
commanding the rain to fail or cease.
They are assisted by the medicine
men, who meanwhile perform their
mysteries inside the hut. The young
men who fail retire in disgrace, but
the winner ranks as a medicine man.
an honor always won, for the cere.
mony is kept going daily until sue
cezs is. attained. Nh ~. q .sM 4.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
100000 SaIvationists.

what is described as a mammoth
international congress of Salvation
ITS will be held next summer at the
Royal Agricultural Hall, London. Ar.
Engagements are already being made
~ the attendance OF 100000 Saliva
ssfionists from all parts Of the world.
IA tlantic liner is to be chartered to
I4ake 500 Salvationists from America.
The congress will take the place of the
|s,rdinary t1iennial congress and exhi-,
sSh8ffon Of the Salvation Army.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
The Rose Bush.

A child sleeps under the rose bush fair;
The buds swell out in the soft May air;
Sweetly 1t rests and on dream wings flies
TO play with the angels in paradise.
y And the years glide by.
A maiden stands by the rose bush fair;
The der, blossoms perfume the air;
She presses her. hand to her throbbins
breast, !.,~
With loves first wonderful rapture Daest'
And the years glide by. 2 + - Z
A mother kneels by the rose bush fair:
Soft sigh the leaves in the autumn air:
Sorrowiul thoughts Of the past arise,
And tears Of anguish bedim her eyes.
And the years glide by. ...-
fair; ~
whirled are its leaves on the w1ntry air :
Withered and dead they fall to the
ground,
And Silently cover a new-uade mound. :
And the years glide by. ~
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
WORTHY TO RECEIVE PENSION.


: A certain charitable organization In
the city had request the other day
from young Italian threatened with
consumption who wanted help TO get
back to Italy in the hope of saving his
life. An agent was sent to investt'
gate, and, as usual, asked the young
mans mother for list of the mem
bers Of the family. The blanks fur
nished for this formality have nine
spaces left for children. The agent
filed up one blank and still the list
went on. She filed two blanks with
out word. the list of children stop
ping at eighteen. When she turned In
her report it embraced the following
Official recommendation: THAT the
boy be sent to Italy, and that the
mother be recommended to President
Roosevelt for a pension. New York
Times.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
Some Pointers on Trousers,

A mans trousers, when tailor
presses them in the summer, are
nearly always pressed with the ends
turned UP, but in tho winter they are
pressed turned down. A tailor says:
Trousers are pressed turned up in
the summer because it is presumed
shat every man wears them turned up
in this season. He wears them so be.
cause. In the summer he wears low
shoes, and trousers that are not
turned up catch at the back in such
shoes. But turned up, they don't
touch the, shoes; they. don't catch in
chem; they. set right That is the
main reason why we turn up trousers
in the cum mer." 81 - -.-.-- ..
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
MADE HIS BRAIN REEL.
Wife's Simple Instructions Frustrated
Es2ts .sa 4 the Strong Man. 80 - ''s@'.A

s:sts @.sa& = the Strong Man. - .,'5.'.4
A man was picked up recently by
the police who seemed to be suffer.
ing from mental alteration, but who,
on recovery. gave this account Of him
SELF: ....:.s ss$ 4 B e. 3 =, y
when he left his happy home, early
In the morning, his wife kissed him
goodby,, as was her custom when she
wanted an errand performed, and then
asked him to go to the, -dressmaker
and tell her that she CHS wife) had
changed her mind, and would have
the water silk made up instead of the
poplin: and be sure to tell her, DEAR
said the wife, that If she thinks it
would look better with ten bias
flounces without putting, and box-plat-.
ed below the equator, which should
be gathered in hem-stitched gudgeons
up and down the seams, with a gus
set stitch between, she can make Il
up in that way, instead Of futing the
bobbinet insertion, and piercing out
with point applique. as suggested
yesterday. ;5 .s .. .5' III s$s5 43
Conservative Clubs Ii Danger. u.
The Club problem is now coming
to the front. There are some twenty.
old-established clubs In London whose
existence is in serious danger. The
number OF candidates on the books has
diminished talarmirgly. On the other
hand, there is an enormous supply Of
well,to-do ard well educated men OF
the commercial class who are anxious
to become members Of the old clubs,
brt. the committees OF those institu.
tic-s resoiutely refuse to admit them.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
'6IB4s1oes xlSuB eqa al .

'6IBl9Ioes HI5uB eVl Al 10
.4dn1IsluI qua o. peIeAN7p eHnqe1 eql
ml1sqI9A pelBedeI GU pue a. ---e1sM
spIoAs ASA 1no6 ::esBsId no o.. Su!
-6gs pIpeq seM 6lnqsItss p1oI sp1v1At
,1slJs Alslv!pemmI .sploM peSuEA
q11A m1q pesse1ppB puv lepnI1Ll eqa
uo psuInq OH 'euoqdetea eql lsAo mlq
u1IAE 5uIsIsAuoo ueQA 'uoIs1ooo quo
10 .po1dn1IeluI sBA ssIIBlo1oes STU
10 quo .1omnq qalA pexImun 4ou '6aI
-uSIueq xI1eq4BJ q4lM mIQ lnoqe esoQ4
Of psAsqeq 6anqsl1Bs p1o'1 elsI eqL =
.suoud. qua lsAo eWso IlV
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
I Mixed the Sexes. :

In Samoa there is q curious legend
that the goddesses ct tatooing swan
there from Fiji where women only
are tattcoed, for the purpose Of in.
Producing the custom, and had been
ordered to sing all the way, "Tattoo
the women but not the men" HAY.
ing to repeat these words so often.
they became confused, and when they
arrived at Samoa they were singing
just the reverse, and hence arose the
practice there Of tattooing the men in.
stead Of the women. 81
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
NJ ayers Jubilee.

uIins-sur Orne, France, has the
ist inction Of having had one mayor
HUE half a century, in the person
On NJ No. Ger1nain-Lacour. Moulins-sur-
4 me ID IN the ACCOMPLISHMENT Of Ar
RI 6fltan, and the people have just
aebrated this unique event by hold
fete In honor Of their mayor.
Yentan has been represented in
ilament BY the same deputy for
nv years. -, NJ. b 4. p
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
BETTHR:THAN PILLS.

Tho question has been esksd q 8.
what Wy are Chamherlain's ston-
.ach and Liver Tablet. u superior e
the .ordinAry oatharhc and LIVER
piliaa our answer isi,,,,. I They -
easi@ and more pleasant . take
and their shest IL Is gentle and %
agreeable that one hardly realizes
that it il produced BY i medicine.
Then they not only move the bowels
hut improves the. appettts and aid
the digestion. For ssls at ~ CENTS
per bottle BY +. N. Hiskanan. ''.;' !. !
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
CONFESSIONS or a PRIEST.

Rev. Jno. 8. Cox, Of Wake, Ark.
for ID pears mn cred from Yellow
JaundiGe. I consulted : number Of
PHYSICIANS and tried all sorts OF
medicines, but got no relief. Then
began the use Of Electric Bitters
and feel that I am now cured Of q
disease that had me in it's grip for
twelve years. If you want a reli-
able medicine for Liver and Kidney
trouble stomach disorder or general
debility, get Electric Bitters. It's
guaranteed by All Druggists, Only
EOc 49, -n'zrs -. a. ~ ~
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
THE SALvETHAT BEALS.

THE SALVE.IHAT HEALS.
without leaving a. scar. is DeWitts
The name Witch Hazel.is applied
to many salves but DeWitt's Witch
Hazel salve is the only.Witch Hazel
salve there it, made that oonains the
pure unadulterated witch hazel.
If any other witch hazel salveis of
cred you tits counterfeit. =. G. De
Witt invented Witch::.Hazel salve
and DeWitt's Witch. Hazel salve is
the best salves for cuts, burns;
bruises, teter, or blind. bleeding,
1ching and protuding piles. Sold BY
F. N. Hickman = . Il. ! ~ ;,.sss y.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
The other Girl.

How fair you looked that night in May,
Where you and music held full sway!
With eager haste I clasped your waist,
To claim you for a. twirl;
And when, the dancing done, I told
To willing ears the story old,
Your soft reply was YES" and
Forgot the other girl.
In lustrous silk and f1my veil
You stood before the altar rail,
A bride as sweet as one could meet,
OF wornanhood the pearl;
But as we turned to face the aisle.
A shadow crossed your winning smile.
And, in a pew in plainest view,
I saw the other girl.
Dear Rose, you are a charming wife!
For ten glad years you've made my life
4 happy lot, and would not
Change places with an earl;
Yet sometimes, when you pout and frown
Or wear an unbecoming gown,
Ny thoughts fly back along Times track
To greet the other girl.
Brooklyn Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23

BROKE INTO HIS: HOUSE.

IS. LeQuin of Cavendish, VT, was
robbed of his customary health by,
invasion 81 Chronic CONSTIPATION
When Or. Kings New Life Pills
broke into his Aouse his trouble was
arrested and now he's entirely
cured. They 're guaranteed to cure
CSC at'All Druggists. d.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23
NEW JERSEY EDITORS
TESTIMONIAL.

N. 7. Lynch, Editor Of the:
Philipsburg, n. J. Daily Post,
writes:s'I have used many kinds Of
medicines for coughs and colds in
my family but never anything 60.
good O Fsleyb Honey and Tar,
I cannot nv no much IN praise Of
ik.sss !. ;G. 3< 73ss ssStssll% u i.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23

yyour Vine of Casdui and ooly needsd 70
take three bottles WHEN ] was fully ..
covesed.~ s.,. ~ Y.
f..,lHEN Miss Rose Owens, who
has . responsible position in
yv the Governm ent service ct
Washington, D. c., decided 70
ty Vino Of Cardui, she made . wise
choice. Over . million women have
been relieved of female weakness by this
same Wine Of Cardui. Il 10 not .
strong medicine but may be taken every
day IN the year BY any woman with
/, bene6k. Il does not force results, but
oorrscts l1a1gements Of tho menstrual
Organs. i Strengthens the nervous
system, gives toaS to To bodily funG
tions, acs di1octy ON Tho genital
organs, and h H. Anest tonic TOR wo-
men known to the science Of medicine.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23

ing tho advice which vas treaty givon
her 81 the Ladies' Advisory Depart
ment. Miss Owens was cured wifholt
advice by Just buying : 800 bottle U
Wine Of Cardui from her druggist and
taking this great medicine ID III IN
vacy 81 her home. No i1ocaorse9 -
animation, treatment o. adyice isnee.s
es..Z Yoa h.ys 1s:a xhat IT, So. txe e
enough 70 lesd yoa 70. deteEmins . ~,
August IS, 1900. Mn. W. II. Jelsa.
oe Cameron, Mo-, writes: \.
Il ssf8esed 1oEsl(ly q 1nodal - y.
foe if1ee 1ssss. I would somsl3inne 49,
ssppa alsalfs Nth % 1ow q q. New
I - ~ hsaflA baek asaia and -
q paeel1l9 6 g eonflned a. Janaaaeys al
ensot rfai,e - meddieins eno = y;
IVY A million suffering wumeus
have found relief -
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-10-23

* He and She. :s3 1896
He walked along as II he might a.l
Have known a thing or two; 4
He slipped and hit the icy walk, 1as1
4. As II he might go through. sssSE # 4
He gathered up his scattered words,
And said them over twice,
Because his equilibrium $a: \
Had failed him. on the ice.
lie looked around him just IN time ~ I
To see salcy maid
Laugh loud, and then go slipping down !
Like mercury in tho shade. S=
She gathered up her packages
:, And smiled an empty smile: \ II
She didn't say a word out loud, Ss1
But talked inside the while. rs VII .s%SSSTt
She cracked the smile to fool the man
She laughed az. wouldn't your
The man gave several chuckIes,
And the "horrid ice'' cracked. too.
The fall. the laugh. the ice. the JOKE,
Were All forgotten when
They started on together, lest
They both go down again.
q A8ToRE.A,.,
Bear. u. The Kind Yeu As.s s!xs V B'la'f &
s's, :; l@zzzzzzx
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-07-28
COURSE SELECTED.

The Y. M G. A. entertainment COM
mittee has selected from the offerings
of lyeeum bureaus six entertainments
for next winters course. AS yet dates
have only been fixed for two and when
all have been arranged they will be
given out. 1t is announced, however,
that the course will begin in November
and il will perhaps be so arranged that
there will be one entertainment
month. Five of the attractions this
year are with the same bureau that fur
nished the course of last year-the Cen
trail Lyceum Bureau whose list OF
entertainers is always first class. The
list selected by the committee for this
year is as follows
Royal Hungarian Court orchestra
music.
Westminster Abbey Glee and Concert
Party-vocal music.
Hon. Chas. B. Lands, of Indiana
lecture.
Siegel. Meyer Caveny = wit, music,
recitations.
Grand Central Concert Co music.
Geo. A. Gearhart-lecture.
The last named gentleman is brother
of C. H. Gearhart, of this city, and Wis
tied here last fall, with the latter and
with his nephew, Vinton. Last year he
lectured in several towns in Wisconsin
and his subjects at that time were ;
"The Dawn of the Twentieth Century, I"
''Fhe Coming Man" Dangers That
Threaten our Civilization" and "Ele-
ments of a Nations Greatness" The
bureau says of him:
Hon. G.. A. Gearhart has been with us
fer four years, doing an increasing bus
mess each year. His success has been
unprecedented. On small and large
courses he is equally successful. The
reports from all sections is fairly echoed
by the testimonies in this circular. Mr.
Gearkart is man with mission in his
lectures. He gives the people what Is
uplifting and ennobling. We do not
know of any one who can be said to be
a more universal favorite. We have
vet TO learn of the first disappointed
/ committed
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-07-28
TRACK IMPROvEMEN TS.
Wausau now has one of the Fastest
Courses in Wisconsin.

A Pilot reporter visited the Fair
Grounds last week to see what work
has been done there. The improve
ments made this year will amount to
about $4,000. Including claying the
track, adding 80 feet to grand stand,
new stallion barn, Is new racing
barns painting the buildings, and new
house for The care taker on the grounds.
About $500 of above amount has been
put on the track, which is fast getting
into good shape. The track has not
been clayed before for twelve years,
and was in poor shape.
The Agricultural board decided to
clay it and found good clay right east
of the Agricultural school. To secure
this about three feet of mixed soil on
top had to be taken off, and after get
ting into clay only few feet could be
taken before spring water would force
new pit to be opened. This made
the work very expensive, and after
claying the first turn and part of the
stretch, the conservative members OF the
board decided that work should stop.
This would have left the track in bad
shape and visiting horsemen would
have given Wausau a wide berth
another year
Sec'y Wright favored finishing the
home stretch and both turns, and
guaranteed to raise s20e by subscription
for this purpose. Those who have al
ready contributed to make up the
a mount are.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-07-28
JUNGLE JOSH SPRUCEBY".

The realistic saw mill scene in "Uncle
Josh Spruceby," the down east play,
comes nearer to the genuine article
than any of the many stage effects now
before the public. In fact, so real is
the SO inch buzz saw, that one of the
actors of the play had his right hand
cut off at the wrist during a perfor-
nance last season in Illinois No play
nowadays is complete without some
thing in the way of mechanical effects.
'Uncle Josh Spruceby' lays claim to
one of the most novel scenes of any
piece on the road this season. A full
and entirely practical saw mill is placed
upon the stage and appropriate scenery
is used to make superior stage pic
ture. When the heroine isrescued from
her perilous position at the climax of
the act the hearty applause gives evil
dence of the appreciation of this acme
of stage realism. Prices for this engage
ment only 10, 20 and SOC. Secure seats
now.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-07-28
PATRICK SWEENEY.

Patrick Sweeney, one of the old resi-
dents of the city, died Sunday evening
at nine O'Clock at his home 407 N. First
Ave, after an illness of four months.
Mr.. Sweeney was born in Castle Rea,
Roscommon, Co., Ireland, March II,
1927, and was therefore seventy-six
years old. When twenty-three years
of age he came to the United States and
settled in the East, and ten years later
was united in marriage to Mary Mar
shall, who survives him. Eight children
were born to them, all of whom are
living They are Thomas, Robert and
William, of Thief River Falls, Mimi,
Michael and Mrs. John Whalen, of
Wausau; Mrs. Nj. Carroll and Mrs. Geo.
Callen, of Milwaukee, and Mrs. Frank
Oyiatt, of Kelly.
Mr.. and Mrs. Sweeney came TO Wau-
sau sixteen years ago and have resided
here since. Some time ago Mr.. Sweeney
became afflicted with chronic bronchi-
tbs and This malady caused his death.
The funeral will be held tomorrow
morning at nine o'clock from St. Mary s
church, the Rev FIR Casper officiating.
Those in attendance from out of town
win be MIR. and Mrs Geo. Callen and
children, and Mrs. Michael Carroll, of
Milwaukee; Thomas, Robert and Will
lam Sweeney, of Thief River Falls,
Mimi.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-07-28
SCRAPS,

The first realization girl has that she
is getting old comes when she suddenly
discovers that she has been flirting with
a man younger than herself.
The ugly, Or as we say, homely man
should consider himself lucky. He
will never have to endure the oppro-
bruim of being called pretty"
Wicked people may be intensely inter-
estering-so is a tarantula.
The ice trust should have served an
Injunction the other day and prevented
the fall of so many hal! stones. Such a
wicked waste.
The horrible habit, or perhaps we
might better say disease, of making
names for articles by stringing togeth-
er a series of innocent and common
words, is spreading with lighting like
rapidity. At first we looked, wondered,
and smiled, although it was with an air
of apology that we first asked for the
article with the hyphen name; but
familiarity DItus HOL SOAbOAhPS, CNN
good -natured tolerence and we made
no complaint.
But as is the case with any disease
when not checked, it began to spread
and there came breakfast foods,
crackers, stove polish, pins, nothing
too small or too mean to be attacked
by this most viruient disease which
now is working its invidious way even
into wearing apparel and we have the
''Tryit" collar, the Itsonice" shirt, and
the sUwearnm shoe. Is no deliver at
hand : Will no learned professor arise
and smite this monster Or must we
endure 1t and go hel Jlessly on and with
idiotic faces go about buying "Ieatum
waters, wearing Uneasy" cuffs and
washing with 'Imaleanernu" soap'
Let him who has had his vacation
and recovered, be thankful
This is the glad time of the year,
The 4th is over, and Holiday Goods
are not yet being displayed.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-07-28
RITTER & DEUTSCH, '! ;1!',, Third

The sun and rain have no effect upon
any material painted with Patton's
Sunproof paints. For sale by o. C.
Callies.
Services will be held at tho Baptist
church next Sunday, at the usual hours
morning and evening. at which time
Rev. j. F. Crawford, of Beaver Dam
will preach. Rev Crawford is now In
the city.
Rev, S. N. Wilson, pastor Of the
Presbyterian church, contemplates
being absent the first part of August on
a fishing excursion, and then with his
wife, to spend the last half of the month
at the Winona Bible Conference and Ia
visiting their old home at Valparaiso.
Ind, and friends in Chicago.
In the base ball game Sunday between
the Hobos and Professionals, the HOBBS
won by the score of IL to 10. Angus
Mcdonald made home run, and q
good play was made by Otto Tetzlaff
whose position was third base. The
Hobos have lost one game 80 far, and
fast ball was played on both sides.
DR. Turbin, the eminent German
specialist and surgeon. will be at the
Bells House, August 18th.
A case was aired in Justice Jones'
court yesterday entitled State of Wis
consin VS.. Albert and VIM. Gaulke.
The complaining witness was Herman
Jacks, and all parties are residents of
the town of Easton. On Sunday, July
10th, they met at the saloon at Sunset,
where it is said they INDUCED in numer-
Gus drinks of soda water. When che
soda began working the Gaulkes are
alleged to have set upon Jacks and
given him severe beating. William
plead guilty to the charge, but the other
will fight the case.