Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-24

lIauS, visited him at his headquar-
Aers in the Toy fields to talk over the
general holiday situation. Tired as
was, however, I was soon braced up
by the invigorating air that l breathed
into my lungs in the twenty-mile
sleigh ride from Dolltown, the railway
station, out to Clausville, where the
venerable saint of the Yuletide has his
offices The reindeer We're in excellent
form and made short work of the score
of miles that lay between the railway
and my objective point.
Upon my arrival at the Clausville
hotel found a steaming hot breakfast
prepared for me, consisting of broiled
boiled peppermint sticks and some
Icandied apples, just from the ovens.
These l ate with relish, and then
walked up the broad main street OF
C'laUsVille to the headquarters OF Mr.
Claus. He received me With his usual
cordially and made me feel perfectly
at home the moment 1 entered his pri :
vate office.
If you don't mind waiting Il mo-
'ment," he said, after he had made me
Welcome; Il am just finishing up my
and there are just a
few letters of Importance that remain
~ W
about five minutes
gladly acouiesced and Santa turned
to a row of twenty stencgraphers Mt
one end of his room and soon he had
the fingers of every one of them busy
taking down his marvelously rapid
sdictation.
We'll" he said, genially, as he hand
ed me Il candy cigar, I'm very glad
to see you. Just try that Flora Choeo-
latora and tell me how you like it
Thank you" said 1. putting the cigar
in my mouth. DO we-ah-light
these"
No, indeed he replied with a
laugh; you just pull at it as you would
on a real cigar. It's a dry smoke, but
very toothsome and nourishing. And
now fo. your questions. l gathered
from your letter that YOU wanted me
to give you ar interview for Christ
mas"
Yes said i, but / had an IDEA
you'd be willing to just talk, and after
you had said all you had to say / could
write in the questions.
I'm That's the way you do 1T. EN-? p
he said, scratching his chin. .'Well-I
don't know iustwliat to talk about-l've
never been interviewed before"
How do you feel in regard 10 the
automobile, for instance, as n substi-
itute for Prancer and Dancer and youl
reindeer outfits" l suggested.
Was glad asked the question. fol
1T was evident the minute | spoke that
i had touched him upon one Of his raw
spots
It'll never do in this world. he cried
pounding the table With his fist. II
tried it last year against my wishes
but yielding to the solicitations of I;
number of our boards of directors, anG
the way the thing was botched was dis
graceful. We sent out 250 automobiles
all loaded With toys, and only five OF
EN- accomplished their work satisfac-
torily. Sixteen of them blew up be-
fore they'd gone hundred miles, forty
two got stuck i'm the snow half way be
tween Clausvil!c and Kansas City, thir
ty of our chauffeurs We're jagged flo,
scorching before they'd delivered .
single toy: -four of them puncturcd Their
tires on church steeples and lightning
rods. and between YOU and me, it was
because one of the biggest of 'em-i
100000 Mercedes collidcd with the toI
of it, in the dusk, that tl1e Campanil,
at Venice later came Gathering dowl
about the ears of the populace.
iNors, of all. the toys that were de
!iNered successfully smelled so of gas
wine that they made half the children
sick before morning came, and tn.
yhug- ehugging of the machines up o,
.he roof tops walked up nearly every
iody in their neighborhood. No. sir
tNere going to stick 10 first principle
up here, aud that while therc's II rein
l,eer left in the world we have no us,
Tor automobiles in our business .
Possibly in ten or fifteen years you'll
t.nd the airship' / suggested
Possibly" he said, and then They'll
rail- lf,,. SANITY IDiltu1f,t ipcfn.1 ff e,.nt,
ilaus he added with Il chuckle
dom you pin your faith to the airship
foung man. We've been experimenting
in that, too. and it never works surely
though for US, j sei,. one out last seal
along With the automobiles, and ii sol
,apsed somewhere over the Sahara
Where there isn't kid of amy kind Il
be provided for. What was IN. result
Iiomewhere in that vast stretch of sane
there are enough toys to stock a de
partment store. and two tons of marsh
snallows wasting their sweetness Oh
The desert air No, sir No ajrships IL
lliIie.
THE reindeer and the sleigh are a.
much IL part of Christmas as am, :.nt
hereafter we stand or fall together L
they abolish the reindeer for the auto
noble they'll make 10 abolish me along
With en- and substitute toy emporium
+IoI !t)uIS Truly.
Good circulated. There's NJ
yielding to the iconoclastic spirit of thu
age in you. is there -
That S new word to me-" said San
Ia Claus. But
"Iconoclastic Glgnifies destructive"
explained
ooh. i see, said Santa Claus. Wen
IFS good name for an automobile, tn,
Red ieonoclast, en-
Very good" j laughed II suppose,
u continued, your business is increas
ing iapidly?"
Most active year we've ever had.
said he, but it has brought us trouble.
with it. We made a bad mistake a
the beginning of the year by manufac
turing a lot of toy walking delegate.
up at the house We thought they't
create a good deal OF amusement anon.
the youngsters in the United States
and we turned out a pretty big batcf
Of them and, by lingo. the first thing
we knew they'd organize n dozen labor
unions among tine other toys, and In
TWO weeks NC mad a general toy strike
or our hands. There wasn't toy il
the store room. from the monkeys-on
a-stick to the French dolls, that wout
work
Not really" ! cried.
ITS a fact" Gaid Santa Claus "Ant
q more preposterous lot of demands you
never heard The United Brotherhood
Of Plush Dogs refused utterly TO BARI
unless we gave each one two extra
sleigh bells to hang around his neck
The monkeys on-a-stick, VINO have beer
red from time iinnemorial, passed reso.
lutions declining to jump unless they
We're painted blue and had two coats
at that. They also demanded shorter
sticks and flexible tails
II never heard If such thing"
said. amazed at the news.
Nor anybody else" said Santa
Claus And you should have heard
The talking dolls. After years OF hare
labor we had succeeded in producing
Il doll that would say Papa and Nam
i.a:.,