The Farmville herald. [volume] (Farmville, Va.) 1890-1934, 1903-08-28
INVASION OF BOSTON.
BY GEORGE II. LORIMER.

Hank and ] we're boys together in Ms
sour, and he STAYED along in the old town
after / left. ! heard Of him on and Of as
tending store a little, and farming little,
and loahng a good deal Then ! forgot all
about him until one day few years ago
when he turned mp in the papers as Capt.
Henry Smith, the klondike Gold King, just
back from Circle City, with million in dust
and anything YOU please in claims
was a little puzzled when, week later,
my office boy brought me a card reading
Col. Henry Augu.tu, Botte, Smyihe. but
I supposed 10 was some distinguished for
eigner, who had come to size me mp 30 that
he could round out his roast ON Chicago m
his new book, and told the boy 90 show
the general in.
I've got a pretty good memory for faces.
and I'D bought too much store plug of Hank
in my time not 90 know him. even with
clean shave and a plug bat. Some men
dry up with success. but 1t was just spout
ing ont Of Hank Told me he'd made his
pile and that he was tired Of living on the
Stag heap; that he'd spent his whole life
where money hardly whispered. let alone
talked, and he was going now where % would
shout Wanted to know what was the use
IF being mob II fellow wasn't the nobbest
sort Of mob. Said he'd bought a house on
Beacon Hill, in Boston. and that i'll I'd prick
up my ears occasionally I'd hear something
drop into the Back bay Handed me his
new card four times and explained that
il was the rawest sort Of dog 20 carry a
brace Of names in your card holster; that
it gave you the drop ON the swells every
time, and that they just had 70 throw mp
both hands and pass you the pot when you
showed down Said that Bottles was old
English for Bolts and that Smythe was
new American for Smith; the Augustus was
just a fancy touch, a sort OF high.card
kicker.
didn't explain 10 Hank. because IL was
cougra tuaiions and not explanations that
he wanted. and I make 1t a point 10 show
a customer the line of goods that he's look
ing for And ] never heard The full par.
ticuIars of his experiences in the cast,
though from what ! learned afierward,
Hank struck Boston with a bang an right.
He located h. claim on Beacon Hi. be-.
tween a Nat1ower descendant and
declaration ,igner'> great grandson. breeds
which believe that when the Lord made
them lie was through. and that the rest n
MS just happened And he hadn't been in
town two hours before he staried In to
make improvements There was a high
wroueht-iron railing in front of his house.
and he had that gi'ded first thing because.
az he said. he wasn't running a receiving
vault and he didn't want any mistakes.
D. Ia La N.a.N
ihe wheels painted red. hired a Niger
coachman and started out IN slyle 10 he
sociahle and get acquainted Left his card
an the way down one side of Beacon street,
and then drove back, leaving il on the
other. Everywhere he stopped he found
that the whole family was out. Kept it mp
week. on and Of. but didn't seem to
have any luck. Thought that the men must
be hot sports and The women great gadders
10 keen on the Jump 50 much. Allowed that
they were tho liveiest little lot Of hsss that
he had ever cha sed. Decided IN quit trying
TO nail 'em one At 4 time and planned ont
something that he reckoned would round
mp the whole bunch.
Hank sent ont a thousand invitations 70
his grand opening, as he called It; left one
at every house within mile. Had brass
band on the front steps and fireworks on
the roof. Ordered 20 kegs from the brew.
ery and hired 4 fancy mixer 70 sling TO-
ge,her mild snorts, as he called them, for
the ladies'. They tell me that. when the
band got to going good on the steps and
/ the fireworks on the roof. even Beacon
/ street looked out the windows 20 see what
was doing. There must have been 10000
| people in the street and not soul but
| Hank and his wife and the mixer in the
house. Some one yelled speech. and then
the whole crowd took it up, till Hank came
out on the steps lie shut Of the band with
one hand and stopped the fireworks With
| the other Said that speochmaking wasn't
| his stranele-hold that he'd been living on
/ snowballs in the Klondike for 70 long that
| his raspipe was frozen but that this vel
come started the ice and he thought about
| three fingers NJ the plumbers fsvoriie pre-
scription would cut ont the frost. Would
the crowd join him. lie had invited few
/ friends in for the evening but there seemed
TO be some misunderstanding about tho
date. and he hated 20 have the good stuff
curdle on his hands
descendant was telephoning for the po
lice from one side and the Signor's great
grandson from the other, and just as the
crowd yelled and broke for Inc house two
patrol wagons ful NJ policemen got there
But they had 10 turn in a riot cali and hrng
out the reserves before they could broal
M Hanks little Boston tea party
After an. Hank did what he started oui
10 do with his pariv-rouuded up at hi'
neighbors in a bunch. though not eractll
according 10 schedule. For next mornin.
there were 50 many descendants and great
erandsons in the police court 20 prefe
charges that Il looked like a reunion NJ the
Pilgrim Fathers Tho Judge fined Hank m
Is counts and bound him over N keep thl
peace for hundred years That afternoon
hs left for the west on special. hecaus'
the limited didn't get there quick enough
But before going he tackled on the from
door NJ hi' house q sign which read.
"Neichbors paving fheir party calls vii
please not heavc rocks through windows i'
attract attention. Not in and not goinl
70 be Gone back 10 Circle City for lIt
tie quiet. Your. truly
"HtNK SMITH.
''N B-Too swift fo, your uncle"
Hank dropped by my office for minute
on his way 10 Frisco Said he liked thing
lively. but there was altogether TOO mucl
rough house on Beacon Hin for him
Judged that ss ihc crowd which WASH
invited was 80 blamed sociable, the on
, which was invited would have stayed
week II ~ hadn't slipped up on the date
That might he the Boston idea, but h
wanted a little more refinement IN bis
Said no was pretty free spender, an
would hold HE end mp hui he hated
hog Of course J told Hank That Bosiol
wasn't an that 10 was cracked up 10 b
/ in the school histories. and that Circle CIT
e wasn't 60 tough II read in the newspa
, pers. for there was no way of making hin
! understand that he might have lived in Bo'
ton for a hundred years without being in
vited n a strawberry .ociable Because
fellow cuts 10 on the arctic circle. b docsn'
follow that he's going io bs worth beans o
= The Back BAY From Letters from a Sell
- Made Merchant 10 Hi Son by permission
|. ~ Small MAYNARD & Co publfslers, Bei