The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-12-05
THE PARSONS
 FOOTBALL GAME
BY HAYDEN cARRUTH.

(Copyrlght, 1903, by Daily Story Pub. Col
 Our rules were few. though they started out boldly enough under the head of .,Constitution and Bylaws of the Corn cob Club" and began and ended as fol- lows:
 Ssction First. Article First-It shall be the duty of each member throughout every session to smoke cob pipe with due diligence.
 "section. First. Article second-Mem- bers who do not smoke shall not be re- quired to smoke '
 The parson was the only member who profited by Article Second. and the doctor used to charge him with quietly elec- tioneering to have it repealed. so that he might return to his former bad practices, but this was a islander on the good man.
 Not being burdened with cob pipe in constant state of confiagration the par son was left with more time for con- versational efforts. We suspected he sometimes took advantage of our nico- tinized condition to foist tales upon us containing smaller percentage of truth than the State Board of Story Inspectors would have countenanced; but of this there was no direct proof. The person certainly always had a most truthful and benign aspect. and never more so than one evening. when, the talk turning on football, he leaned forward and said:
 Do you fellows happen to know that used to take part in football games?"
 ''In your clerical capacity. to carry con- solation to the mortally wounded. sup pose" returned the judge.
 No, mo-" answered the parson, ''as a player. was on our college team for three seasons"
 "You should have gone into the army instead of tihe ministry commented the major. stt tss
 You are jealous of football" resumed the parson. After all, 1t is a rather mild pastiIne as commonly played. This recent suggestion that the players be armed with bayonets may make 1t more strenuous, if it is carried out, which seems improbable. What was going to tell you about was game that I once took part in when was on our varsity eleven. which I firmly believe to> be the most remarkable game ever played It was fast and exciting game from the first, and on the whole there was some pretty rough play, but that is not what refer to when I say it was the most extraordinary game of football ever wit. messed"
 Well, out with it-what made your game such rare bird?' asked the doctor.
 Tn good time" returned the parson "fAeA sOoOA OA COAupidCcHCys OI course I really can't say that 1t was a unique game-I strongly suspect that the same thing hapens rather frequently in the game, but it isn't detected. When thing isn't discovered it's just the same as if 1t didn't happen In one sense, you know. We'll. this game that I'm talking about was between Tamerlane college. where l was student. and the Attila university players. There has always been, and is yet, as you know, strong feeling of rivalry between these two seats of learn ing, It happened not so many months before that Attila had carried off the honors in rowing. while Tamerlane had won at baseball;. so we football players felt, as may say, that 1t was up to us. That's the right expression, is it not?"
 Don't try to appear innocent-I heard you use it in sermon the other day,'' said the judge.
 That is a base slander." returned the parson. Besides. you haven't been to church for three months, so that if l