davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-06-19

Many skins are being experimental
with to produce light pearl or cream
tinted feathers Of requisite strength
and quality. The sea lions skin is
used for costly articles and gold-bound
curio baskets. All the tanning, rub
bling and polishing ever resorted to
fail to obliterate those curious wavy
lines on the surface of the sea lions
skin, caused by the animals wigging
around over the ice. Hence, it is
stamped forever with an intrinsic dec
grafton. However new the article, it
always presents the aspect of an an
tique because Of these odd markings.
Devices Of lizard skin are fitted up
with real silver mountings and set off
with a topaz OF a sapphire unobtrusive-
~ introduced. The lizard skins are
often used in their natural hues, but
again are dyed black or dark brown for
more practical purposes. In ali Gases
they are beautifully marked and shad-
ed. The coloring of beetles and of
the chameleon are initiated in larger
skins and utilized for very handsome
cases for necklaces and caskets for
hair ornaments.
Other jewel cases and beautiful ap.
purtenances in leather ware are de
rived from snakeskin. alum cured. q
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-06-19

lido not believe Piso's Cure for Consump.
tionhas an equal for coughs and colds ~
+, BOYER, Trinity Springs, Ind, Feb. Il
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-06-19
uae AlIen,s ront-rane.

1t IS the only cure for Swollen, smafving,
Tired, Aching, Hot, Sweating Feet, Corns and
Bunions. Ask for Aliens Foot Ease, powder
to be shaken into the shoes. Cures while you
walk. At all Druggists and Shoe stores, 25c.
Don't accept any substitute. Sample sent
FREE. Address, Allen s. 0lmsted, Hoy, NY.
When fortune knocks at the doA0T some
people don't answer for fear it mi De
q collector. ~
You can do your dyeing in &alf an
hour with PUTNAM FADELEsS DYES.
The fellow who thinks be can hatter all
women fatters himself.
lido not believe Piso's Cure for Consump.
tionhasan equal for coughs and colds ~
+. BOYER, Trinity Springs, Ind, Feb. "a
The man who makes a fool Of hin b
only saves someone else the trouble.
DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION and all stomach
us positively cured by TABER's PEPs1S
COMPOUND. 10c size mailed free to any ad-
dress. Write DR.. Taber Mfg. Co., Peoria, H.
There .isn!5,a, world Of diderencgFbetweeu
borrowinga4nO1e and borrowing trouble.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-06-19

The man who makes a fool Of hltA
only saves someone else the trouble.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-06-19


stronger took
hfs Lydia e. Pinkhams Vegetable
Compound!
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-06-19
Don't wait until your suRerings have
driven you to despair, with your nerves all
shattered and your courage gone.

Help ana happiness surely awaits you you accept Mrs Pmkhans
advice Disease makes irritable and easily annoyed by
children and household duties such need the help
OF who understands the peculiar troubles of her that
Is Mrs Pnkham who with her famous medicine Lydia
Pinams Vegetable Compound have restored sick dis
caged health and happiness than any other person
Her address Lynn Mass and her advice free Write today do
not wait.
VIII not the volumes of letters from who have
made strong by Lydia E. Pnham Vegetable Compound
vince others of the virtues of this great medicine?
When medicine has been successful In than a million
cases. 1T justice to yourself without trying it. al do
believe 1T would help me?"
Surely cannot wish to remain weak and sick and dis
Outraged exhausted with each days work. If have de-
rangement of the feminine Lydia PinhamS
Vegetable Compound. 1t VIII surely help YOU
Mrs. Emile Scoring, ia St. AIMS Ave-, New
York City, writes:
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-06-19

There .isn!b,a. world Of diferencesbetween
borrowiRgs4nO and borrowing trouble
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-06-19

Other jewel cases and beautiful ap
purtenances in leather ware are de
rived from snakeskln. alum cured,
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-06-19
|" DEAR Mns. PrvKHAM.-Ifv

,HAM:-H women who always blue and depressed
and nervous would take Lydia Il. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound they would find it the medi-
cine they need to bring them to more cheerful
frame Of mind l terribly worried and downcast,
and was thin and bloodess My back ached all the
time, no matter how hard I tried to forget lit
change my position to ease 1t, and the pain at the
base of my brain bad that l sometimes
thought that would grow crazy; had the blues so
much and was always so depressed could not seem
to shake them off half of the time did not to
have the courage to do my work everything
seemed to go wrong with me, and was always
sS = worrying and fearing the worst 1 began to
81 A take Lydia L. Pinlkham's Vegetable Com
- pound. After the first few doses load seemed
lifted from my shoulders, felt better in every
M The blues left me and my head stopped aching;
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31

4e
spread Of profanity in Chicago He
was glad that G. Gentle had arrived in
Jericho and glad that he had brought
lottery tickets along with him.
The third victim was Deacon Spoon
er. He had read of the Patagonians in
history, and he did not believe that
money got through a lottery scheme
would elevate their moral standard.
That same money, however, if judi
ciously expended in buying wooden
legs and killing off potato bugs would
bring blessings to mankind. The dea-
cor grew enthusiastic as he talked, and
he decided to take two tickets.
Then Good Fellow Davis, Trueman
Chaplain and Moses Taylor were strug-
gled with and became the possessors
of a ticket apiece, and at the end of a
fortnight the twenty tickets had been
sold and G. Gentle had taken his dys-
pepsia to some other locality.
Then ensued a period of awful sus-
pense in Jericho. The drawing was to
take place on the LIST of the month, ten
days after G. Gentle had folded his
tent Each one who had purchased a
ticket was supposed to be the only one,
although every man doubted his neigh
Dor and felt rancorous toward him.
The post Office seances were almost
broken up by the bitter spirit that pre-
vailed and there was less trading Of
horses and borrowing and lending than
ever known before
The night when the lists arrived in
Jericho will long be remembered by
every citizen Of the town. Not a ticket
holder had drawn a prize or come with
in a mile of it. There was no G. Gentle
to lay hands on, but there were others
who needed walking on, and they were
slammed and banged and left where
they fell The constable could do moth
ing except to wait until the last man
had tired himself out and gone home,
and then he left the wounded in the
fence corners and sought his own bed
G. Gentle had come and pocketed
5000 in cash, and G. Gentle had van
ished and left twenty eminent citizens
to kick shins, pull hair and black one
another's eyes.
On the next Sunday the heather CON
tribution in the two churches fell to 2
cents and button, and to this day the
ministers are not sure what caused the
sudden and awful scaling down.
M. QUAD.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31

guaranteed that each and every one
would be good for ait least $1,000, and
what should be done with the money :?
1t could not be used for churches,
asylums, Sunday school libraries or
even common charities without sacri-
flee, and of course G. Gentle would not
think Of devoting it to any base cause.
Deacon Goodheart sighed and hitch
ed around uneasily and after pursuing
up his lips and scratching his head
threw out a hint that if he had 1000
to spare he would know how to use
it for the benefit of his fellow men.
He would fill up the mudholes in the
highways around Jericho. cut down the
thistle patches along the asylum lanes
and build bridge or two, and If there
was any money left it should be used
to paint the schoolhouse.
Exactly, deacon--exactly. replied
G. Gentle. IF you had one of these
tickets you would draw $1,000, and Of
course the money would be well ex-
pended. Now, if you were to pay me
SO for ticket could use the money
on the Patagonians and, not feel at ali
troubled ever it. 1t would be money
from q Christian man instead Of re
formed gambler. who may not have
thoroughly reformed after ALL"
The deacon didn't let any grass grow
under his feet in closing the deal. IF
he could aid the moral and physical
welfare Of the Patagonians and Il
Jerichoans at the same time it wash.
duty to do SO, and he was glad Of the
chance
That same afternoon Silas Downey.
who was always concerned about the
heatheno of China. had a visitor as hewas
working in his garden. and that visitor
was G. Gentle. He had come with his
conscience 10 ask advice of Silas. and
he followed the same course as he did
with the deacon. Silas also followed
the same course as the deacon did. He
would pay $40 for one of the tickets
and use the 5000 to try to check the
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
THE GRAND
PROMOTER
MCjor Crofoof Has NO Ready
Cash. bar Millions In
the Future.
Copyright, 1903, by G. B. Lewis.l

IODQyT1SHI, lJU0, Dy y. b. Lewis.
- HE German tailor had made 4
timid call on Major Crofoot
Isl grand promoter and general
schemer, with a little bill fol-
repairs to a suit, and as the major
received and glanced at the bill he
said:
"My dear Mr.. Schwartzenhammer
this bill is made out in a business way
and footed up correctly. 1t specifies
that | owe you so cents for services
rendered. do not dispute it. On the
contrary, admit the Indebtedness and
will now proceed to discharge it and
show my gratitude at the same time.
| propose to take you into one of the
most gigantic schemes Of the age with
me and divide the profits"
Il like my 80 cent replied the tailor
as he looked puzzled and perplexed.
You shall have them, my dear man,
and millions more on top Of them. Lis
ten to me. | am about to contract for
the entire huckleberry crop Of next
year at cents a quart and raise the
price to 20. The estimated crop is 98,-
672,235 quarts; net profits, S89OOOO. A
clean, tidy business, with no tar or
grease to soil your hands and quick
returns on capital invested. No politics
or religion in it, and the public must
have huckleberries no matter what the
price. Capital stock limited to $4,000
and all shares worcestershire Apply at
once. All shareholders entitled to hue
kleberries at contract prices. You shall
come in with me, and we will make an
even whack Of expenses and profits. l
shall want 500 from you to help incor-
porate the concern. Can you pay it to-
day.?
"You-you mean I vhas to gif you
one hOOnered dollar?" stamInered the
creditor as his hair fairly stood up.
Eyes; that will do at present. provid-
ed you want to make about $25O,OOO
during the next year Perhaps, how
ever, you don't want to waste your
time on such small potatoes. If not let
Inc call your attention to another sure
thing strictly original with me. It is to
buy 10000 acres Of New Jersey marsh
lands and cultivate celery. The title of
the organization is to be the Great I'm
limited New Jersey Celery Growers
association. Our capital will be limited,
but our celery will not
"You can see for yourself what there
iS in if Twenty thnl1cap1, ooroc o. GO
per acre is $4,000. Each acre will
raise $50 worth Of celery, making the
seasons crop turn in $1,25O,OOO. Say it
takes the 100000 to pay for seed and
labor and sundries, and yet there is a
cool million to divide between us. Don't
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
The Fakir.

He stood on corner with his wares
and talked to quite fair sized crowd.
He had way of raising his right hand
and shaking his forefnger to command
silence when about to begin fresh
diatribe. Florid, his face was atmos-
pheric, rotund and healthy. He por-
trayed great sense Of humor, but he
was evidently unconscious Of perpetrat-
Ing joke when he thickly counseled:
Don't go elsewhere to be fooled,
don't let other people cheat you with
their trash. Come to me. have the
goods!' Philadelphia Ledger
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
THE JERICHO
POST OFFICE
Pap Perkins, Postmaster, Tells
About Lottery.
Copyright, 1903. BY G. B. Lewis

lNOPyA Ae3AiA, A0oos ny ~. -. LCWlo.l
UP T was during the palmy days of lot
terry schemes that a sleek slick
~ stranger arrived in the village Of
Jericho one evening and told the
landlord Of the tavern that he had come
out into the country for a couple of
weeks to get rid Of dyspepsia.
He walked around the town next day
and met the people. and everybody
liked him. He was suaye and soft
spoken, and he let it be known that as
soon as he could cure his dyspepsia he
was going to Patagonia as a mission
airy. He had studied up on the Patago-
mans and knew just how to tackle
them and turn them from their sinful
ways, and he had decided to make that
his life work
Gentle were his ways, and it seemed
eminently proper that Ills name should
be the same. &C. Gentle he wrote it
and added the letters an T. P.,' which
stood for missionary to Patagonia
Mr.. G.. Gentle had been in Jericho
three days when he asked Deacon
!. Goodheart to take a stroll with him
down by the milldam. They stroled,
and when they had reached the pond
and taken seats on a saw log the stran-
ger announced that he had d secret to
confde to the deacon.
He wanted to confide secret and
ask advice at the same time He had
selected the deacon in preference to any
one else, and with considerable anxiety
in his face and emotion in his voice he
went on to say that reformed gam
bier, whose reform might or might not
be permanent, but who seemed to be
much interested in missionary work,
had given him as a donation twenty
lottery tickets, each one of which was
certain of drawing prize. The sum
total would be about $4,000, and with
that amount he felt he could convert at
least $4,000 Patagonians, but of late his
conscience had been pricking him. Was
1t right to use lottery money for such a
purpose? He had decided in his own
mind that it was not, but he wanted to
hear from others.
Deacon Goodheart had heard of
case where horse jockey had do
mated church bell and of another
where a gambler had paid off a church
debt. but he didn't approve Of such
things. If this lottery money was
used to convert Patagonians he
wouldn't guarantee that they would
Stay converted over fCur weeks Ha
wanted them boosted up. but not at
the sacrifice Of principle
Mr.. g. Gentle agreed with the dea-
con and was glad to have the matter
settled, but the look of anxiety did
not leave his face. What should be
done with the lottery tickets? The
reformed gambler had positively
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
Not Hiring Generals.

Since the war some of the privates
have told with great relish of the old
farmer near AppomattoX who decided
to give employment after the surren-
der to any Of Lees veterans who might
wish to work a few days for food and
small wages. He divided the Confed-
crate employees into squads according
to the respective ranks held by them
in the army. He was uneducated but
entirely loyal to the southern cause. A
neighbor inquired of him as to the diff
ferent squads:
"Who are those men working thereY'
Them is privates sir, of Lees ar
N.Y."
"Well, how do they work?'
Every fine, sir; first rate workers."
'Who are those in the second group?"
Them is licutenants and captains,
and they works fairly well, but not as
good workers as the privates"
II see you have a third squad. Who
are they?"
'"Them is colonels."
"Well, what about the colonies? How
do they workY'
"Now, neighbor you'll never hear me
say one word ag'in any man who fit in
the southern army, but ] amt a-gwine
to hire no generals. General John b.
Gordon's "Reminiscences Of the Civil
War; in Scribner's
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31


let this scheme get away from you. my
friend. Huckleberries may get sun
burned and the price come down, but
celery takes no risks.
Certificates of shares will be out
next week. and you never saw finer
printing in colors If you can bring
me in $3.50 this afternoon as your half
of the expenses of incorporation and
buying postage stamps l will be ready
to select the land and close deal next
week. What do you say?"
III don't understand her." replied
the tailor. you owe me 90 cent, but
you don't pay"
That Is a concise statement of the
case, my dear Mr. Observation-Disclosures
that is, do not pay ready cash. but
in place of it | offer you a fortune III
the immediate future Perhaps you
do not care to go into huckleberries
or celery We all have our little
idioms. YOU know Very we'll.
Il now call your attention to the
Great American Matrimonial and Trust
company. A person, either male or
female, desiring to enter into the bonds
Of wedlock calls at the office and
leaves name and particulars and pays
q fee of from S25 to $3.50 to be guar
anteed. No sparkling. no jealousy. no
loss of time Marriages brought about
within an hour if so desired. Parties
afterWard supplied with money for
the bridal tour and set up in house.
keeping on the installment plan Dis
positions most positively guaranteed.
No fear of marrying drunkard on the
one hand or a bleached blond on the
other Mothers-in-law kept at safe
distance or put out of the way entire
". Every marriage warranted for ten
years if rules and regulations are lived
Up to- Are you catching on, my
friend?'
Il bring in a bill for 90 cent" re-
piled the tailor, land you put him
down. on der desk
"Just SO, but let us continue a little
farther and see where our millions are
coming from. There are in the United
States at this moment 47S.245 mar
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
N Soul HarrosOin8
Experience of q Peer

THERE was merry poet once who
on an autumn day sat down and
chewed his pen awhile and spun
an. airy lay about the russell leaves that
fit where'er the zephyr whines and
said, 1T will be finished when I've
written eighty lines.
For am paid for all the work do
with airy grace according to it's merit
ne'er, but all the time on space, and
when at % per line this thing set
afioat I'll have the shining shekels
cinched to buy an oyercoat."
And SO he apotheosized the quail and
pumpkin pie and touched the south
bound goose that goes a-honking down
the sky. likewise the squirrel that ex-
plores the tree from bough to root and
sent it to the editor instanter on the
scOot
Oh while he sat and waited for the
precious little thing to see the light Of
day he'd drum upon the desk and sing,
II soon shall have an overcoat that
like the blanket feels Arranging from
my .ringlets to my patent leather
heels"
When finally the pome appeared he
wore a look of pain and looked quite
like the shanghai that's been standing
in the rain, because the wicked editor
had fractured his repose by setting up
his jingling as ordinary prose.
''Ah, me" the poet murmured in a
frenzy of despair, the while he wrung
his hands and mauled his long, artistic
hair Instead of 500 now, as far us
can see, my little lay in prose will
bring me only dollars three"
Twas then he groaned and CRASHED
his teeth and few, a frantic thing,
a-frothing down the stairs and to the
walk upon the wing and woocd the
creamy Wurzburger which e'er the
poet wooes and quite forgot the over
coat and bought pair of shoes. New
York Times.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
A Blind Mans Question.

William James, who holds the chair
of psychology at Harvard, is brother
Of Henry James, the novelist Profess
or James is noted for the many cpl
grams that he utters extempore in his
course of Harvard lectures. One day
Professor James was talking to class
upon the subject of beauty, and stu
dent interrupted to ask a stupid ques
ton
Why said the student sis every.
body fond of beauty?"
Professor James sneered a little.
Yours he said, 'is a blind mans
question ''-N New York Tribune.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
Information.

'Hello!' said the neighborly bore.
"What are you building the new chick
en- house for?"
why" replied Nettles, ''for a flock
Of pink camels, of course. You didn't
suppose I'd put chickens in it. did
you ?"-Philadelphia Public Ledger
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
How He Worked.

I'm afraid that boy of mine will
kill himself by overwork.''
"OverWork! | didn't know he ever
worked"
ooh, | refer to mental and not phys
ical work. He overworks his brain
trying to find excuses for not doing any
thing worth while" Chicago Post.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
A victim of Providence.

SHERIFF sold you ont of house and
home?"
ooh, yes, but Providence fixed him."
"Providence?"
eyes. Hurricane blowed the house
down two minutes after he had levied
on it."-Atlanta Constitution.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
A Reason For II.

What's the matter with old Spon-
dulix, anyway
"No one knows. The doctor refuses
to give his trouble name"
"Why is that?'
"Oh, | suppose he can charge more
for a mysterious ailment than he can
for any other kind" Brooklyn Eagle,
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
What Is Needed.

The Poet-The editor said my poem
was fairly good. but it la cked warmth.
Can you suggest anytnfngf
Critic-Yes. Here's a match.-Phiia-
delphia Ledger.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
Literally Speaking.

Wife Before we were married you
said nothing was too good for me-,
Husband i don't deny it, my dear
Wife-And you have done nothing
for me ever since.
Husband You forget. | kept my
word. Chelsea (Mass) Gazette
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
Achievement.

Briggs Well, old man, can at least
look the world in the face. All my
debts are paid.
Griggs-H How did you do it?
\ Briggs-Oh, | succeeded in borrow
ing the money. Detroit Free Press.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
His Trim.

Owenlotts Coughing forcedly|-I've
been advised that trip abroad would
be greatly to my benefit.
Sharpun Who advised you, your law
yer or doctor ?-TOwn and Country.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
Made Her Pre- sence Felt

Tom-Aiiss Lowd WAS III your box
party at the theater last night, | heard.
Dick Yes, and everybody else with
In fifty feet of the box heard too
PHILADELPHIA Press
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
A Way They Have.

He-I had no idea that this wSs the
most expensive restaurant in town.
She-What makes you think it is?
He-Didn't you choose it?-Detroit
Free Press.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31

The Dancer-That's right, kids Watch
me now while you've got the chance 1t
won't be long before you'll have to pay
to see me do this.-New York American
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
Free Press.

Mystery of the Game.
Just howl when others do, and you'll be
right;
Stand up and wave your flag ard stamp
and shout;
What care you if you never do find out
Who won that long continued. bloody
fight?
The game is simple; where the mystery
lies
Is in the college yell that rends the
skies!
Cincinnati Times-star.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-12-31
Such Ignorance!

Quarter Back Seven, nine. fourteen,
eighty seven, six
The Novice Aw, wotcher givin' US?
] come out here to play football, not to
study 'rithmetic. New York Evening
Journal.