West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-09
some ARIZONA MCKlEIS.

some ARIZONA kCklETS.
Busy Week Put In bv the Versatile
Editor OF Giveadam Gulch.
We learn tha, George Baker
formerly of this town, was hung in
New Mexico two or three weeks ago.
He deserved il.
There are $50 miles of snowdrifts
between us and the editor of the
Utah "Banner." Therefore he
calls us liar and a scoundrel.
Major Dubois went looking for
us the other day with gun in either
hand, and when he found us he
dropped his shooters and wanted to
shake hands.
We must say that we don't think
much of our city marshal. OF the
seven cowboys who opened fire on
him the other night he let FIVE get
away unwounded. He must do bet.
ter than that to hold his Job.
There has been only one MARI.
age celebrated in Giveadam Gulch
since last September. and even in
that the bride was so homely that no
one kissed her. We predict a mat.
rimonial boom in the spring, how
ever.
IL was SO cold over al Rocky
Gulch last week that citizen who
sat with hia feet in the oven of
red'hot coal stove had the back of
his neck frost bitten. Arizona has
her own peculiarities for four or
five months in the year.
Beef trust prices haven't bother
ed our people much, When they
want beef they ride out and kill IL,
and If the trust gets in the way II
turns out to be bad for the trust.
Our esteemed fellow townsman,
John Dorkin, called our esteemed
fellow townsman, Henry Travers,
liar the other day, and between
the two of them they managed 10
kill dog and scare Chinaman
into fits. These little affairs would
be humorous if they did not dis
grace the community in which they
take place.
The Blue Hill "Record." in
speaking OF the cosmopolitan
aspects OF that town OF 500 inhabit-
ants, says that man Is found dead
almost every morning in the week.
We have nothing to say, except that
we don't blame the man.
The move to start public libr-
airy in this town was a failure.
This was not because we are lack
ing in literary interest as comma-
nifty, but rather because the patent
medicine men pour about a ton of
family almanacs into the place every
three months. There isn't much
left to read in this world after you
get through with family almanac.
We had to threaten TO shoot
Simpson the gunsmiih, to induce
him to advertise in "The Kicker"
last week, and he now admits that
he sold Saso worth of goods on a
So ad. We seldom make a mistake
about such things.
As postmaster we desire to
engage a man to carry the mails be-
tween this town and Big Bend un-
til the work is given out by regular
contract. In spirit OF fairness,
we would state that the route is in
tested with bears and wolves and
road agents, and that the man who
makes two trips will come out bet
ter than we think for.
AT meeting of the Hellso Rang
ers held last Tuesday evening, we
we're unanimously reelected cap
tain, and II was resolved that in
case Of war every member of the or
ganizstion should pour out his blood
as freely as II it didn't cost any more
than kerosene oil. Hasten a war.
Hasten the pour.
The story that we had imported |
a tooth brush from Chicago and |
we're putting it to daily use called a
big crowd in front Of "The Kicker" |
office the other ufohs hot IT, A..