The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1903-11-14

Topics.
Say, mamma" queried little Mary |
Ellen, whats a dead letter." ANY |
letter that is given to ysdr father to
mail, my dear" replied the wise moth
er.-Chicago News.
Now" said the teacher, "can yeu
tell me anything about Hiawatha y
Yes" replied Henry; Its the tune
that made Longfellow famous. "-Chi-
cago Record Herald.
An old Scotchwoman, when advised
by her minister to take snuff to keep
herself awake during the sermon, re-
piled: why dinna ye put the snufr
in the sermon, monT
Frank-I've got even with James at
last. Edward-How did you do it?
Frank gave bis girl a pair of pretty
vases, and he will be ruined In keeping
them filed with newers.
Mistress-Bridget, don't you think
you can get along without so much
company? am sure nc one else would
stand 1t. Bridget-Sure, ma'am, thot's
why Ofm staying wild ys.
]
"Mr. Nozzleton," she said, III you
try to hug and kiss me again l shall
call papa" Where is your father7"
he asked Hes In the Yellowstone
Park Chicago Record Herald.
Does your wife De much fancy
work. Fancy work? She won't
even let a porous plaster come into
the house without crocheting red bor-
der round II and running yellow rib
bon through the holes
Smith-May 1 make confidant of
your Jones-Why, certainly. Smith
well, I'm hard up and want ten
pounds. Jones-You can trust me;
am as silent as the grave. have
heard nothing.-Pick-Me-Up
Newly ndo Bride = Mamma says
she does not think we will ever quar-
rel as she and papa do. Groom--Nev-
er, dearest Newly-made Bride-No;
she says you will be much easier to
manage than papa was.-Ttibits-
Algy-Gwace has a hahwid father.
Wien 1 awsked him fer her hand l
sid, Love Tor yow daughter has
dwiven no hswf cwag. Cholly-And
then deah boE2 Then the old swute
said, Has eh* Well. who completed
the jobYS 49,
Hes an iEysative genius, and the
most successful and prolific enc ever
hoard Of" Always iavesting some
thing new, chr 'TNo ;the's lways IN
venting sonasthanx old apt nskies the
pubic beBets it's Rcn.".Phflaael
p&ia Press.
The presence Of mind OF an iapecu-
NOUS lover was illustrated recently at
bazaar, where there was stall for
the sale of watch charms. "Oh
George" said the lady, buy me o
charmw Sarah" answered he, you
have too many already"
Miss Romanz-Of course, you've
read that new love story OF his? Mr.
Crabbe (reviewer)-Yes; had to. Yer,
realistic, wasn't lit Miss Romanz-
oh, the ideal Why, the dialogue be
tween the lovers was perfectly silly
o Mr.. Crabbe = Well?-Philadelph
F., Press
= Fritz, German lad. and little Ton
were very fond Of each other, although
j., neither could understand what tn
other said "Why, Tommy" said hi
father, "your playmate does not speal
English, does her" NO" said Tommy
n but when bumblebee stung him yes
tesisy he cEied in English. and ur
dastood htar'
"Yer hub.HS, maaaa.' nh th
d chief Of police, Shas b-eee arrested o
tbs charge of arson" whats ths
meanY demanded the woman. Il
means that he is accused of startin
the fire at his place Of bushes
II that" Nonsensel I've been mai
It ried to that man twenty years, and b
v never would start the fire."
:. Mrs. Scrooge-I am writing to as
is the Browns to meet the Jeneses her
n. at dinner, and 10 the Iono5es to NEE
!. the Browns We owe them both a
Q. invitation, you know. Mr.. Scrsgge-
Bat I've heard they've just qusrrcse
ana doaf speak, MrR Scroose-
know. They'll refuse, and we needn
give dinner party at aIii-Ift-Bits-
One day when little Elsie cam
er home from school her mother aske
re her what she had learned that da,
y. Elsie replied, II learned to spell man.
lie Tell me how you spell It, dear" sal
mamma. MAN, man." replied Elsi'
ut and how do you spell boy?" "Yo
spell II the same way, only with small
or letters" replied Elsie, after a mi
ment's thought
&C Scene-Platform of suburban st,
- ton. Small crowd looking out for th
us King Edwards Special, due to pas
y through on its way to Port Victoril
W City Nan-whats IT all about7 Pc
y ter (Msth knowing wink)-Dook
III La ncaster going through directly. 81
city Men-Never heard OF anybod
. with that namel Porter-Weli, e cal
q 'iInself the Dock O. Lancaster, but it
REILLY the King travelling In congo
Punch.
In crossing the ocean a father al
son both became very seasick. II
father recovered quickly, but the s.
was 80 exhausted with the attack tn
II he sank into a state Of apathy, fro
which II seemed impossible TO arou
him. The steamer physician, thin
u ing he would try sudden shock. sal
Il have bad news for yeu; your faith
Is deadr' The son, raising his EXPIRE
sionless eyes to the doctor, reptile
~ III.