Waterbury Democrat., 1903-01-22
THE MERMAID AND
 THE SCHOONER

The following clever yarn" was written by Sidney Greenfield, Harvard student. The story was written per order as part Of MT. Greenfield's initiation to the staff of the Harvard Advocate. It had to be fin- ishe6 in a specified time, written about specified atmosphere, and be funny. How we'll MT Greenfield surmounted the 6if- faculties is left to the reader.-Editor. NDAN'L, Dan'l, I'm afraid you're
 Jliar," said the first old salt to the second old salt, respectfully. Tt don't taste right to call you that when I'm a-drinkin' your good beer, but jest the same, no mermaid never talked-not even a she-mermaid."
 "Weu, all mermaids is she-ones," grumbled old salt No. 3, ''an' wot do you know about mermaids, anyhow?'
 ''Oh, not much, not much, Danl, but I knowed one onct, an she never talked all the time I knowed her she never said word-jest smiled sorter sweet, like I would if you was to order 8 pot of arf-an'-arf.'
 Dan1 ignored the hint.
 ssWell, as I was a-tellin' you," went on the old man, "I knowed her when l was on the little Scud. It was like this We was in the Doldrums-not even driftin', 1t was that hot-but the cap'n alters kept lookout at the mast head. He said it was safer, an, be- sides, it shaded the deck some. Why, he useter foller the shadder all over a-tryin' to keep cool. The lookout he said t wasn't fair to put him any nearer the sun, and he alters squirmed
 -nI~ ', Ior~ xx-scr cr~r1xv an hard to foller round.
 'tOne day it was jest noontime, am the cap'n was gettin' mad, cause the shadder ran right down the mast, an the deck was so hot he couldn't sit on it, when George Che was the lookout) yelled down, a-wavin' his hand:
 Mermaid ahoy, on the port bowl
 "'Wot's that?' says the cap'n, sar- castle Nike, 'where'd you get your ticker, George?'
 But George he yells the same thing agin.
 'f' 'Ow do you know it's a mermaid P inquired the cap'n.
 By her clo'es,' says George.
 "'Wot's she got on?' says the cap'n agin.
 George he simpers little-'Mostly blue serge, cap'n,' he says.
 s'The cap'n gets his glass, an soon we all sees her. She sure was peach. Long, easy strokes she was takin'. an all the time a-smilin' an a-combin' of her wavy yaller hair. We seen George was right about her clo'es. Arter awhile she gets up reel close, an George he calls out: .,
 "tCap'n, I wanter come down offen the masthead
 < I order you to stay, says the cap'n, there's enough cn deck already An he giares round aD us fierce like. Go below, all,' says he. this is deficit matter, an I must talk with the lady in private
 "So over the rail he leans an gives her wot he thought was fascinatin' smile.
 "'Don't be afeard, my dear he says, T got purity little gal at home wot looks like you
 '''You ain't,' says the cook, she wouldn't lave yer!'
 Go below, sir, an mind your own bisness,' thundered the cap'n. An you go too, Sam'l,' he yells at me.
 II can't, cap'n,' I says, as she was a-smilin' bewichin'ly at me, T reely got ter swob the deck
 "But it warn't no use, an down I he'd ter go. We was all down in the fo'c'sle a-cursin' him, when down comes George, all in heap, an we seen the cap'n's boot siPouetted agenst the sky.
 Boys says George, when he, was himself agen. its simply outragis- that's wot it is. I was a-settin' on the masthead an she a-smilin' up at me, jest like stain d-glass winder, so wot could I do but smile back? The cap'rs he seen me. "George,'' says he, reel soft, "come down here, George, an' help me talk to the lady" Wen I got down he grabbed me by the neck an kicked me down the hatch, like you seen. "Take that,' he says, ''fer firt- ing."'
 .'While we was all sympathizin' with George cook he sneaked up to the hatch an peeled out at the cap'n. '''Wot's the old man doin ? we asks. as he come back sudden. ~~
 "He's a winkin' at Fer, an holdin' out 8 couple of pertaters to Ter. Come ere, my dear," he says, 'an' have some. thing nourishin' with me-" When he sees me he throwed one of the perta' ters at my head, an that's why came down.
 "Well, we all stayedin the fo'c's'le till mess, while the cap'n was a-tryin' to i fascinate the mermaid. When he let us come on deck agin he was hoppin' mad l an the skin was all burnt off his bald 1 head, where he'd had his hat off. 1 "'Wot did she say to you, cap'n" asked him.
 "'Nothin,' he says, 'an' you can dc the same.'
 ''There she was foatin' peaceful, still smiiin' and a-combin' of her hair thai was spread all round her like fish net. l never seen & purifier sight George he fell right in love with her.
 '''I knowed it, he says, I knowec the mint seed her she was my af