Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-11-11
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Clerk-That back piazza is pretty
shaky. 1t may break down some
night. Proprietor-AIust it be rebuilt7
Clerk-Oh, no; light 1t Uptown
Topics.
Say. mamma" queried little Mary
Ellen, whats dead letter." "Any
letter that is given to your father to
mail, my DEAR" replied the wise moth
er.-Chicago News.
Now" said the teacher, "can you
tell me anything about HiawathaT'
Yes" replied Henry; "it's the tune
that made Longfcllow famous. Chi.
cago Record Herald.
An old Scotchwoman, when advised
by her minister to take snuff to keep
herself awake during the sermon, re-
piled: why dinna ye put the snuft
In the sermon, mon?"
Frank-I've got even with James at
last. Edward-How did you do 1T
Frank-I gave his girl pair of pretty
vases, and lie will be ruined in keeping
them filled with flowers.
Mistress Bridget, don't you think
you can get along without so much
company? am sure no one else would
stand it. Bridget Sure, ma'am, thot's
why Dim staying wild ye.
"Mr. Nozzleton." she said, "if you
try to hug and kiss me again shall
call papa" "where is your father7"
De- $50 a0cb,ca ~ naeor ~. uar .~s.'ne
Does your "'te 10 mucn fancy
WORK =! fancy works sne wont
even let q porous plaster come INTO
the mouse without crocheting req Dor
Nv thna.r,, .ha ,,a,as s o" ~
Don .n.ousn 'ne no..s' :.
smltn-May ! make a conndant OF
you! Jones-Mhy' certainty. smitn
We'll I'M hara up ana want zen
POUNDS Johes-iou can trust me-
am as silent MS the grave. nave
nearu notnlt's'-ficR-Me-op.
Newiv-tnhae hride = Mamm' says
sne does not tmnk we win eyer GUAR
rel as she ana papa 90. Groom-Nev-
en- dearest. Newly-made bride-No;
sne says you VIII De mucn, easier %
manage than papa was.-Ilt-bits.
Algy-Gwace has hahwid father.
When ! awsked him Tor her hand
said, Love for your daughterss.has
dwiven me hawf cwasy. 81 .5wute
then deah boy? "Ther S6t completed
said. Has, Ell?
the job ,,,,,,. and the
most sae se ,ns and proiiissone ever
heard Of, always inyenting some.
thing new, eh7'' No; he's always in
venting something old and making the
public believe It's new-eniidoel'
phia Press.
The presence of mind Of an impecu-
n;ous lover was illustrated recently at
q bazoar. where there was q stall for
tho snle of watch charms. oh.
ceorpcn said the lady, buy me q
chormr "sarah," answered he. you
have foo many already"
j Misc Romanz-Of course, you've
ro.d that new love story Of his? Mr..
crohla (reyiewer)-Yes; 1 had to. Very
raal,stic wasn't ii? Miss Romanz--
], Oh the idea! why. the dialogue b.
tween the lovers was perfectly silly.
M crabbe = wen2-Phnadelphia
/. press
n Er,tz German lad and l!ttle-T Ton
a ,rero yerv fond OF ca CHI other, although
j naitber could understand what thu
d otbe,r3 aeid.S "Why, Tommy" said hil
49, tbarz i.your playmate does not speal
~. ss ?. no. said Tommy
nngiisn, aces .yes
Dut wneh a Dunpsepee Sung NM 3 -
.eruay ne criea IN GiisA'sh' ..i ana a5un-
oers'oou mn:
Your huband, matam, sara the
chief OF police, mas oeen arrested on
me charge OF arson, nat's tnot
mean! demanded Inc woman.
means that he is accused OF startins
the IRE at his place OF business
tnat- Nonsense! I've peehs mar
ried 10 that man twenty years, ana ne
never wouid start the nre.
Mrs. ScroogNI am writing to ask
the Browns to meet the Joneses here
at dinner, and to the Joneses to meet
the Browns. We owe them both an
invitation, you know. MI. Scrosge-
But I've heard they've just quarreleo
ana don't speak! Mrs. scrooge-l
know. They'll refuse. and we needn't
give dinner party at all!-T1t-Bits.
One day when little Elsie came
home from school her mother asked
her what she had learned that day.
Elsie replied, 81 learned to spell man."
Tell me how you spell 1t, dear" said
mamma. MAN, man, replied Elsie.
"And how do you spell boy2" You
or lotters - ren,,ed Elsie. ofter 4 mo.
ment,s Thought.
scone-pla+form Of suhurhor s+o.
.;on smo,i crowd ,oo.,n. ont 80, for tho