Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-24

CLASS II.
PROPER enough, no doubt 'twould be
II you spelled 'cleanllncss' with G;
Just S-A-P-O-lt-I-O
For that famed soap doth work spell
And lends to Cleanliness so we'll
mat all pronounce the two the same
READING.
THE short word READING, If twisted, It's
said,
WIN prove We GAIN by all we've RED;
But READING Is such u valued thing
Its merits In no EAR I'll DING.
For he on learning's road must lag
Who fails to RIDE that gentle NAG.
IN jms. point out one handy rule
Wherever there's SAPOLlO
And so for water need not so.
the word READING. rs A POOL has
the same letters as SAPOLlO.
CLASS Nv.
PUNCTUATION
WHEN you have put coal on t:) the fre,
Perhaps you, too. flame up with ire
And with an exclamation mark %
Your hands are now shade too dark.
But then mag come (,) happy thought
or wonders which that soap has wrought
Whose widespread use through a period C.,
BEYOND all question marks (??!?) 1T strong.
so you ditto c) the course you always go
And make dash @ for SAPOLLO.
ARITHMETIC.
TO MULTIPLY your pleasure each day
SUBTRACT all dirt that comes yonr way;
But to do this, you ought to know,
Iou first must ADD Sapoo
Which will DIVIDE by 3 your moil
And require but Il FRACTION of formcl
For r. ,, .,ths Rule Of THREE n as may be seen
GEOGRAPHY.
in life. whatever is your SPHERE,
lis safe To STATE dirt will appear;
And this must quite annoyn, be,
For dirt is no delight To SEA.
But though 1t be piled MOUNTAIN nigh
lis PLAIN that ii will quickly fly,
II you've n notion IAN OCEAN, to OBEY
And follow what the wisest say:
And all Of them SaypOIEo.
For that makes eyrything clean as snow.
HISTORY
WHEN crusty old DlOGENES went on a
daytime chase,
With lighted lantern held before his phil
osophic face
lie did not seek an honest man ns hlsto.
rics declare,
But searched for dishonest man, and
sought him everywhere
For dishonest grocer had palmed off on
him some soap
That failed to clean his lantern and Mt
night had made him grope.
So now he sought that rascal man round
Athens, high and low
To make the man refund The coin or give
SAPOL1O!
CLASS VIII.
PHYSIOLOGY.
DO not give iAl, to counsel bad.
For cv ryone NOSE that makes one sad
The .., worst advice that TONGUE cun tell
Just put your FOOT down firm and
Aud toll the clerk his BRAIN is wrong,
And you've experience qnte In point
10 put his statement OFT OF Joint
dust NAIL his lies and let him know
Your HEART is set OH SAPOLlO!
CLASS IN.
1T is matter Of general NOTE
That into house or FLAT will float
Dust and dirt to take their place
- ias.'on MIMI 1ha how mRote and BAss
Their sly Invasion you cannot BAR
Unless the proper KEY you know,
Which is, of course, SAPOLIO--
The soap that brings you REST right
And keeps your house or FLAT IN
CLASS Y.
ALGEBRA
LET Housewife equal X plus E Me
Let Il the sign for Sapolio be: T.
For Dirt let minus X be had: X
Then all these symbols we will add.
The and minus y drop out
CAS- anyone can see, doubt
And leave What must the housewife
please
The happy symbol we call ease. ZEE
CLASS NJ.
SHORTHAND.
THE cleverest hands. both short and long.
Are far too clever to purchase wrong;
So they buy the soap with the little short
hand
A soap that dirt cannot withstand.
For the soap with stenographic speed
Is the sort of cleaner that people need
To handily handle In handsome hands
HIND SaDOliO only meets he domop1.