Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1903-04-02
lust : Few Stories.


Just Few Stories.
A very eminent physician had cured
a little child of dangerous illness. This
grateful mother turned her steps to-
ward the house of her sons savior.
"Doctor," she said. there are some
services which cannot be repaid. real
ly don't know how to express my
gratitude. l thought you would, per-
haps, be so kind as to accept this purse
embroidered by my own hands"
Madam" replied the doctor, colby
medicine is no trivial affair, and oul
visits are only to be rewarded In money
Small presents serve to sustain friend
ships but they do not sustain our fam
lilies"
But, DOCTOR" said the lady, alarmed
and wounded, speak-tell me the fee
1.-TWO hundred dollars, madam,
The lady opened the embroidered
purse, took out five bank notes of 500
each, gave two to the doctor, put the
remaining three back in the purse, DOW
ed coldly and departed.
Seated in a crowded traction car
some days since was very stout wom-
an. who weighed about 900 pounds
and beside her, squeezed into a space
about three inches broad, was mes
senger boy-one of those very smail
abused looking boys.
The stout woman, after looking ABOUT
the car for some time, noticed two
young ladies standing near, and turn
ing to the small boy beside her, said:
Little boy, why don't you get up and
let one of those young ladies sit DOWN.
why don't you get up ana lei EN-
both sit DOWN." replied the boy, mucn
to the amusement Of the rest OF the
passengers.
The movement for a memorial &c
Henry Ward Beecher has caused many
anecdotes OF that famous pulpit orator
and philosopher to be told. One re-
lated by Bishop Potter runs as follows:
when the pastor of Plymouth chur-
CHI was at the heighth OF his popularity
and full reports OF his sermons were
published all over the United States
each Monday, another Brooklyn minis
ter, noted for the marrow and gloomy
views he held. took offense at what
he considered Mr.. Beecher's levity ano
undertook to rebuke him. With
newspaper report of the latest sermon
In his hand, he accosted Mr.. Beecher
and pointing out the frequence OF the
bracket remarks Qaughter) and Tap
plause), he said severely:
1t seems to me. Brother Beecher
that YOU should resist this temptation
to make light Of serious things, and
not take every opportunity that may
present itself for laughter
Mr. Beecher's eyes twinkled, but
with straight face he looked hard al
the funeral countenance of the man
who was attempting reproof and ans
wered:
.Ah. my brother, but you do moi
know how many opportunities fol
laughter resist
While Lord Charles Beresford was in
New York he told this story OF
one of his tenants who conducted q
small undertaker's establishment In
Waterford, says the New York Times
One day he met her and asked how
the business was getting along. Grand
me lord!" she exclaimed. L now have
the luckiest little hears you ever saw
Glory be to goodness-it was never a
day idle since l got it,"
"Well, Maggie" asked teacher OF
little Scotch GIRL chow is it you are sc
late in coming to school today?"
please, sir" was the reply, "there
was a wee BARN cam. to DOR hoose
this mornin'."
"Ah," said the teacher, with a smile
land wasn't your father very pleased
with the new baby?"
mo, sir; my father is wa in Edin-
burgh the moo. an disna ken about IL
yet; but 1t was guild thing ma NTH
er was at home. for gin she had been
ava l wadna hae kent wat tae dae
Wit
A German who recently landed In
this city was attacked upon the street
and bitten by a vicious dog, says the
New York Times.
A few bystanders rushed to the mans
assistance, who was apparently more
frightened than injured, and asked If
the dog was mad. The German ex-
claimed:
"vot, de dog mad? Mine Got, w he
be mad? IT'S me vot Is mad"
well, my boy" said Senator Stewart
of Nevada, to white-a proned waiter
in a well known German restaurant
the other evening, as he stroked his
flowing white beard, and sank into
seat beside round table, What can
you give me tonight that is appetizing
and dainty? My stomach is little
out of order and am not going to eat
any dinner. just want something
light to keep me going
The waiter began to enumerate the
delicatessen for which the restauran,
is famous-'l wiener schnit-
eel, wienerwurst, Bismarck herring,
when the senator had an inspiration
and stopped him.
"Ah, how about limburger-have 70,
any imported limburger = and rye
bread?"
Certainly they had limburger- ANY
man with nose could tell that with.