The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-06-14
NO SLANG.
This Fellow Was Above Such Thing
 His Closing Grafton.

This Fellow Was Above Such Thing
 His Closing Grafton.
 Baltimore News.
 She is the limit" said the young wo- nan.
 What a beastiy expression" remarked the man, where in the world do you hear such thinss7 You have no barroom acquaintan.ces that know off'
 "What would you suggest oinsteadT' asked the penitent woman. T suppose gut that from my brother. He uses a miserable lot of slang. and 1t is so-o fore lble. If you can suggest anything that will do instead, I'll accept your amend ment thankfully.' .
 You might say she Is impossible suggested the man, gravely.
 "t believe i'm possible Is slangy, if it isn't slang. It was never used in grand mothers day, and that Is a pretty sure indication that 1t is not good English, for I have i. from grandmother herself that slang was not known in her gener- atton."
 '"rhey talked all right then" said the man, regretfully. You can see that when you go to a play the scene of which is laid a century or so ago. The women of today have no vocabulary at all. hear them saying to beat the band and not on your life and he Is the limit and dozen like expressions. and 1t shocks me to standstill. The other day my dignified married sister told me quite seriously that she had shipped her cook. and little later I heard her tell her husband that they would have to sing for their breakfast I hope she would not talk so before any but her nearest and dearest. but one can never tell what a woman is going to dosfn this emaiIci@ pated age"
 Sing for their breakfast was not s1st.- l.. ,t oh, Is almost as respectable as being pure Stakespear>an. Besides, when woman has shipped her cook she Is not respon- Ible for what she says, and might be forgiven for using those naughty masou- line words that begin with d. Some times, however; my limitations in regard to language do worry me This Is gen. orally when one of my proper friends has been to call on me and has talked book English. One came the other day who had such words as 'supinely' and 'cursorily' falling trippingly from her tongue. She talked of bassos who had the tenor temperament. and of sociaolog- teal problems. and I looked pleasant and said just as little as was consistent with my character as a woman. 1 only used one dreadful word In her presence, and that was when said that certain small boy was a terror He is, indeed. very annoying. she replie. gravely. After she had gone went into the library and had A seauce with the unabridged dictionary excuse 'seance for that is really what 1t was. learned some beautiful words In an hour. and quite patched up my damaged vocabulary. I am waiting to try my new requirements on some ons worth while, and that Is why you note uo improvement in me-
 70. fudge! I did not intend to roast you into this state of humility said the man. "It Is not natural, and 1t is not ,pleasaut. You are good child, as usual thing and any one who would make you feel had is a touch 'un. beg your pardon. my dear Alphonse; not once nut many times. What I want to know Is where you learn these expressions. Certainly not in the drawing room. where any man who used them would be made to go away back and sit down. suppose