davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-12-16
Kentucky Glass and Queensware Co.

DR.. d. q. Murrell and Captain
James Roger were elected members.
Reports from various committees
were heard. and the report Of Treasur-
or Hawkins showed . balance Of sew
eral hundred dollars on hand.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-12-16

Among those who last night attend
ed the Prince OF Pilsen performance
were: Messrs e. A. Albritten, ].
W. Landrnm, Lewis and Guy Rob
bins, of Mayheld; and G. W. Wal
bright, of Metropolis.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-12-16
DON'T BE A DONKEY

And waste your winter evenings,
when you can be learning to play the
Mandolin or Guitar under my instruo-
tion. Gall and inspect my method ;
you are welcome. Leroy l.. Light
foot, room 8, Y. NJ. o. A. building.
Hours 10 .. m. to 3 p. m.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
MODERN FABLES BY GEORGE AIDE. The Mcjern of Had
 G TrueF to Him


The Friend was always making Business Engagements for him and then letting him know about it later on.
 And sometimes Friend would try to choke him and take his Money away from him and invest it in some shine Enterprise that was going to pay a 40 per cent Diyi- dend every 30 days.
 Friend always meant well, at that. When he selected the Girl that the Victim was to marry. he was prompted by the most | ish Motives. Notwithsta which, the Victim did the .all Duck.
 A Policeman found him hiding under Bridge and asked, Are you a Fugitive from Justice?"
 "No," was the Reply. This Is merely case of Friend"
 MORAL: They never seem to be properly Thankful for all that we do in their Behalf.
 The Modern Fable of the 9o-Pound
 Knight Errant and His Lady
 Fair.
 Once there was an Estimable Lady named Mrs. Killjoy who used to hunt for Trouble with Search Warrant.
 She was not happy unless she was being Insulted. Before any
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15

him up against 1t sooner or later.
 Sure enough, one Day he found her in Tears and learned that the Man delivering the Coal had been Impertinent and had failed. to re- move his Hat while speaking to her. She wanted to know if MT. Killjoy was Man or Mouse and that settled it. He went out to roast the Teamster and she fol- lowed along to Gloat.
 The Teamster was Low Brow with a 48-inch Chest and he did not know a thing about the Henry of Navarro Business. He grabbed MT. Killjoy and dusted the Bin with him.
 While the Sufferer was in the Hospital, waiting for the Bones to join, Mrs. Killjoy sat beside him and said, "As soon as you are well enough to be around, you must hunt him up and shoot him."
 q will" said the brave Knight, If I can get one of those Sandy Hook Guns that will carry six Miles,"
 MORAL: Tn these Days, Chiv- airy must wear a Tag or 1t will not be Recognized.
 The Modern Fable of What Is In a
 Name Under Certain Conditions.
 Once there was Main Squeeze of a Business Concern who had a faithful Man Friday.
 The Understrapper kept the Books and stalled off the Can vassers and when there was noth- ing else to do he would go out Collecting. Every Morning at 8 he was buckled down to Work. When the High Guy arrived, the humble Employee would bring the Morning Mail and answer all Questions in low, respectful Tones.
 Now, the Boss knew that one of the Secrets of Business Success is to throw an awful Bluff, so he changed the Firm to a Company and called himself President. In order to make the Letter-Heads imposing he put on the Book Keepers Name and called him Business Manager. It did not cost anything and it dazzled the Core spondents.
 Also he allowed the Business Manager to have a Desk with a Brass Plate on it, so as to impress Visitors.
 Whereupon the Man Friday be- gan to wear a Tall Hat and show up every Morning at 10 instead of 8. He stopped calling the Stenog- rapher Matte" and used her Full Name. When any one came to see him, he had the Office Boy bring in Card
 In speaking of the Company he said We" If asked to do any regular Office Work, he put up loud Holler, because he did not think that Business Manager should be compelled to monkey with any small anu cheap Duties.
 In short, although his Salary re- mained the same, the high-sound- ing Title was too much for him. He developed severe Case of En- largiensis of the Coco and in a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
His View of the Constitution.
few York World.

From the New York World
 Representative Fitzgerald told the story of the Irishman who went to get natural
 ized, and in answer to the question, Have you read the Constitution of the
 United States?" replied. No, yer homer. I have not but me friend, Mike Lana han read it to me, and mighty well | pleased I wuz with it." That reminds me-" said Representative Ryan of Buffalo, "of the time Jim Ma pes, prosperous Italian in Buffalo, an-
 nounced himself as candidate for the As-
 sembly. A reporter went down to inter- view him.
 !" What do you think of the Constitu- ton of the United States, MT. Naples? the reporter asked. Jim thought hard for a minute or two and then said, with
 great dignity:
 "I think it are very nice.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
STRONG ARGUMENT
In Favor of the Civil Service Sys
 tenn.

From the Washington Times.
 Although no official announcement has
 been made touching the matter, the con- census of opinion in administration cir
 cles is that the Hon. George B. CorteI-
 you, secretary to the President, will be
 selected by his chief secretary of the new department of commerce and labor.
 So strong is this belief that, strange to say there has not been a horde Of appli- cants for this new cabinet position, al- though already there are aspirants for the assistant secretaryship ana some or the subordinate offices provided for in the bill.
 Before any appointments are made
 however. it will be necessary Tor con gress to appropriate money with which
 to pay the expenses of the administra-
 ton of the department. as the measure
 creating it makes no provision for It's maintenance.
 Before the death of the late President Mckinley there were from time to time rumors that Mir Corteyou would ultl- mately be elevated to a cabinet portfolio,
 the place generally selected for him be ing, by report, at the head of the post office department.
 The evolution of the Hon. George B. Cortelyou in official life and his steady rise to the commanding position which ne now occupies, and furthermore to the office he is expected to fill as secretary
 cf the department of commerce, may be cited as strong argument in favor of the civil service system. It has not been | many years since MT. Corteiyou was $O0 stenographer In the postoffice depart
 ment. and his promotion was through the
 civil service system, coupled, of course, with his own inherent ability and his spe- cial fitness for the positions to which he
 has been steadily advanced No man, not even his closest political associates and warmest personal friends, ever held the confidence of the late President as did the Hon. George B. Cortelyou, and it is a
 tribute to the good judgment of President
 Roosevelt that he retained MT. Cortelyou in his present position when he succeeded to the high office of the Presidency Officially and socially the secretary to ! the President holds rank next to a cabi- | net officer. and his appointment as secre- | tary of the new department of commerce | and labor will admit him 10 full member | ship In the Presidents official family. | There is doubt, should the President
 see fit to appoint MT. Cortelyou to this
 office, that the selection will be popular | one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
An Exhibit of
 New Silks

Just received. and offered for the first time now. See the New Louis enc at esc; New Glace Effects in checks and stripes at 75c; Lambert Taffetas in all colors, only here at 7ooi Yuka Maya Silks at 4sc; new lot new Wash Silks at ssc, 4sc and esc, as wide as 27 inches; some hobby new Foulards, white and black, also blues, at 9se; 24-inch Peau de Cygne at SIPS; new waisting silks that must be seen to be appreciated. Don't get this offering confused with some sales of "old silks" now being offered by some houses. cold stuff is dear at any price). It is question-will old silks pay, for the making up?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15

one chirped she knew that she was going to have Bricks thrown at her Character.
 Mrs. Killjoy held to the obsolete Theory that Man was put into this Mundane Trouble Factory to pro- tect weak and defenseless Woman from all Slurs, Slights and Insults. That is why she picked out for her True Knight an undeveloped Spec imen about the size of Philadel- phia Squab, with four-inch Biceps.
 His steady Assignment was to fight her Battles. Mrs. Killjoy was one of those Sensitive Plants who could not get into Trolley with out having some one rudely Stare at her. She always suspected that the He-Salesmen in the Stores were trying to make Love to her and if any Man happened to be walking behind her on the same side of the Street, she knew that she was being Pursued.
 Are you going to sit here and allow your Wife to be lnsulted?"
 That was the Speech she would hand him when lney were out to- gether. Then 1t was up to him to call some 200-pounder or else be prepared to lie awake half the Night and listen to the Story of her Wrongs.
 Sometimes he suspected that she wanted to realize on his Life Insurance.
 His usual Play was to promise to be an Avenger. Then he would hunt up the Person who had gross ly insulted Mrs. Killjoy and apol- ogize in her behalf and say that she was trif1e Dippy.
 What Mrs. Killjoy needed was a Husband in full Suit of Armor mounted on White Horse and thirsting for Blood. She had read the wrong kind of Books. Hus- band knew that she would stack
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15

NCE there was a we'll N meaning Soul who was "A U handicapped by a true " and lasting Friendship. I Sometimes he suspected that if ne could be left to himself, he would struggle along from one Saturday Night to another and keep out of the Way of the Cars, and possibly extract some Joy from this Life in his own simple Rube Fashion.
 But every time he turned around, Friend was right there to tell him what to do.
 Friend was somewhat of She'll Fish in the regulation of his own Private Affairs, but he knew just how to manage for some one else.
 So he used to tell the Victim where to have his Clothes made. and he would pick out his Shirt Patterns for him, and tell him how often he needed Drink and in other ways relieve him of all Responsibilities
 4 If the poor Mark wanted to re- main in his Room and Read some thing by William Dean Howells, the Friend would compell him to put on his Low-Front and go out to War-Dance and meet a Bunch of Kioodles who wore No. 6 Hats and talked nothing but Piffle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
FREE CURE FOR MEN.
The Following Letter From Churn Manufacturer Speaks For Itself.

Dear Edtor:-If any of your readers are suffering from Lost Manhood. Nerv- ous Debility. Shrunken Organs, Sexual Weakness. etc. and want a sure quick cure. tell them to write to me and 1 will gladly send them a free prescription with full directions for a home treatment in plain. sealed envelope-one that l know will do the work. There Is no charge whatever, just tell them to write me in confidence and I will show them how to avoid scheming medical quacks and re- gain their health without personal en- barrassment. Yours respectfully.
 THOs. BRADFORD. 3l4 Bradford Build ing. Cincinnati o.
 1-iS-sun- tu--thur-1-mo
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15

will not only save you distressing pai. and valuable time. but will cost you les rcney. There is alss c satisfaction | knowing that the very best possibl treatment is being gfver to you by | competent physician who has experienc In such matters and II capable of curing you in the quickest and most perfec manner possible 1 have treated privat diseases as . speciality for the past hf teen years in the city sf Birmingham. ana. ] epa therefore known to e great man, But if you are not acquainted with me. ! refer you. with permission. tc First Ma ucnal Bank. Alabama National Bank Jefferson County Savings Bank an. ote1ner Bros.. bankers ss to my respon sibflity for my eontrac,s- cure many pa uents by mail treatment Write for prices ard terrR
 l do not use large advertisements and false statements to attract patients which merit has fafisl to secure. If yss fail to be cd by Duch methods. gfvs me a call and get vel
 Address Dr. '. E Holloway. 1101n See end avenue. Birmingham, Ala,
 office. Second avenue and Eighteenth. opposite poston1co.
 Office Hours: :s:9o A 8. e eso c = aAs.A.- 1A a- .<A> Il -
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
Quid Pro Quo.

From Judge.
 Why, yes" said the generous manu- facturer to the soliciting church com mittee; T shall be glad. indeed. to pro- vide for the new set of hymn books that you request
 "Oh. thank you-thank you, sirr cry the members of the committee.
 But" goes on the manufacturer. why cant we have a little reciprocity about this? If l do something for you why can't you do something for me?" y>/ 1 We will always mention you in our prayers" promises the chairman of the l committee.
 That's very good" says the manu- facturer; but you might do more than that Suppose, now, that on the opposite page from the one that will contain the hymn, Bringing in the Sheayes,' you work in some sort of a favorable notic- for my new models of harvesting ma- chinery"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
ONE FARE RATE
To Pensacola, Mobile and New Orleans and Return, Account Mardi Gras.

The Louisville and Nashville Railroad Company will sell round-trip tickets to Pensacola, Mobile and New Orleans one fare for the round trip Tickets on sale February F to 23. inclusive; final limit February 2S, with an eXtfnsion of final limit to March IA. 1903, by depositlng ticket with joint ticket agent and paying fifty (50) cents. Stop overs allowed at gulf coast points.
 For sleeping car reservation. etc., apply to
 r. Sid Jones, or Jack W. Johnson,
 D. r. A. Union Ticket Agent.
 2-10-l2t Birmingham, Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
The Business End.

From Spare Moments.
 Emma was talkative little girlShe was very fond of asking questions, al- ones
 One day her father took her for a walk along the road, and, seeing a mule pass ing her, she said to her father:
 Father, look at that funny horse" Her father told her that it was not horse but a mule.
 Then she asked what a mule was. He said to her:
 "A mule is half a horse and half a donkey"
 (Which half is the donkey?" she asked.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
New Dress Novelties

A SPLENDID display of NEW DRESS WooLENS." It is out of the ordinary, but is a fact. Some num- bers have already been sold out. Bir- mingham people appreciate our efforts to give them "The New Thingsp as soon as they're out-Come look the new materiala over, such as Twine Examine, Mistrals, Volles, Batistes, Snowflake Twine, Drap de Paris, Fl. loine, Wool Crepe de Chine, Albatross and many others.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
Senator NeIson's Long Speech

From the New York World. Senator Nelson has the belt for the | long-distance talking record for this ses- sion. He spoke for fifteen and one-half hours on the omnibus statehood bill, spreading his time over six sessions. His speech fills thlrty-eight pages in the Con- gressional Record. It contains approxi-
 mately 6l.0OO words. If these words were
 placed end on end they would make a
 spike of language three times as high
 as the Washington monument, and all
 most six times as high as the dome of the Capitol.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
S7.8o-ONE FARE RATE-S7.s0
Birmingham to Mobile and Return VI;
 Southern Railway.

Account of Mardi Gras Carnival the Southern Railway will sell round-trip tickets to Mobile at rate of one fare. Tickets on sale February 17th to 23. in- elusive, final limit February 18th, except that by deposit of ticket with joint agent and upon payment Of a fee of 50 cents extension of final limit may be obtained to March 14th 1903.
 For sleeping car reservation and de- tailed information, apply to Passenger Office, Morris Building, telephone 617.
 2-4-20t J. c. LUSk-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
Mrs. WInslow's soothing syrup.

the best remedy for DIARRHOEA- Sold by druggists in every part of the world Be sure and ask for Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup" and take no other kind. Has been used for over FIFTY YEARS by MILLIONS of MOTHERS for their CHILDREN WHILE TEETHING. with PERFECT SUCCESS It SOOTHS the CHILD, SOFTENS the GUMS. ALLAYS all PAIN. CURES WIND COLO. and is twenty-five cents a bottle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
A Great Sale of Hens Shirts.

There are st.oo and SIPS values, from the very best makers, perfect fitting, choice colorings, all sizes, with cuffs detached. One price, 75c. See show window for assortment.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15

short time he was breathing the Fresh Air.
 MORAL: Many a good Subordi- nate has been ruined to make a gilded Figure-Head.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15

an thin If he didn't put a cutaway coat on Achills, it wud be time to hammer him. But tn harm is done. Homer's cooked. It's a great joke on Hogan"
 T wondher what he'll say" said MT. Hennessy.
 Maybe" said MT. Dooley, hell say that Homer don't care"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
Underwear.

Soiled from handling. Corset Covers trimmed in embroidery at 15c. Ladies Drawers at f7c. $1.00 Gowns at 45c. And other bargains.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
New Goods For Spring 1903

Now on display. SEE THEM. A showing of WASH FABRICS" not to be equaled by any other Birmingham store. We planned for these months ago. Here you'll find an assortment not a mere handful, as you find at some stores-fine Madras, Tole Du Nord, A. F. c. Ginahams, pretty Per caIes and Penangs, Bates Seersuckers, oxfords, Chevlots, chambrays, etc.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
No mOurnfuI C0rnS EwosS
 m sf1OE co Queen Bess' Shoes. NSxEX
DIR. Y. E. HOLLOWAY.
Physician and suroeon.

Three-fourths O the persons wh. come to me to gs cured of eyphili' Gonorrhoea. Gle. Structure. Los Manhood and oth private diseas have tried to E well by using oti CT means. Why n, come as soon c you Ind that yc
 AWnn. .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
NOTICE.

Members of Bartenders' Union, Local 24s of Birmingham. Ala, will assemble in regular meeting place. Bricklayers' hall. over Pattons Pharmacy, on Twen- tieth street Sunday afternoon at 2 o'clock to attend funeral of Brother George Sucker.
 Funeral takes place from family resi- dence. 4i4 South Eighteenth street, at D. m., Sunday, February 15.
 2-14-2t ALBERT BAUMBERGER.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15

Smallpox is covered by our Health Insurance. Jemison Real Estate and In- surance O., ll3 N. 2lst St.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
New Suits And Ladies' Complete
 Costumes.

The new frocks, the proper thing to wear the coming season. We have an excellent stock made up in Foulards, Taffetas, Brilliantines, Tissues, etc., in all white; also dainty colors, styles strictly the latest. No store is show ing such swell things in Examine, Crepe and Canvass Cloth Dress Skirts, in light, medium, dark shades and black so early. We've marked them very low.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
Children'S and
 Infants Capes

All tho new shapes and colorings are now on display. Here you find a line ranging in rice from 25c up to $5.oo4 Values, everyone that you'll appreciate. SEE THEM.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15

All kinds of cuts. Age-Herald En. graving Department
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15
Ladies' Spring
 Shirt Waists

"The New Ideas" are now shown for the first time. We'll be glad to show them to you tomorrow. We have a most extensive assortment from $1.0o to $500, including the new Oxfords in white.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-15

ITS turrble, tn way me OO0( frind, Andrew Car
 naygie, has been S jumpin' on Homer"
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-01-23
TAFT STAYS IN MANILA.

There has seldom been higher compliment paid to
than paid to Governor Taft by the people
Manila and by the Fpinos generally when a days
the representative of American authority in the Philip
pine Islands Judge Taft told them that the Ques-
ton of his stay the United States
matter for him to determine and that whether the Office
Of civil governor filled by himself another It
would make difference to the people of the islands,
that he simply carried the policy of the
at Washington, and that if he recalled his
sor would out the policy. But the Ffpinos
evidently regard Judge Taft with especial and personal
affection, and they besought him remain with them
Their desire has had sufficient influence with him to
duce him to decline the proer of place the bench
of the supreme of the United States an he has
elected his lot with the people of the Philippines
instead of returning the United States In consequence
the vacant place the supreme bench has been
rendered to Judge Day, who intimately associated
with President McKinleys administration, and Judge
Taft will remain at his post in the Philippines ndefn
ely.
The judge has chosen well. There is nobler and
important work for than that in which he
is engaged There thousand lawyers in the United
supreme court would be easy replace
Governor Taft with who knows we'll every
phase of the nsular situation and who enjoys high
degree the confidence of the people The people of the
United States we'll congratulate themselves that the
work of Amercanizng the islands has been entrusted
such worthy hands.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-01-23
ELECTRICITY IN COOKING.

Scarcity of kind of fuel brings all other kinds
into prominence oil future possibility is
being made possible Electricity is being expert
mented with with renewed interest 1t IS valuable no
doubt Already are familiar with the street car,
driven lighted and heated by the subtle current but the
conclusion be that it is yet unable to COM
pete with gas coal well known electrical engineer
is quoted as saying
Generally speaking saving is found in connec-
tent. Under that heading would come the coffee and
teapot and the various dishes required in the prepare
tcn of breakfast other meal for which it would
be necessary maintain FIRE during the day 1t costs
two cents cook breakfast by electricity and ten cents
to cook a dinner
In laundry work electric heating is not only econom
ica but is also imposes much less labor the serv
and very little escapes in the Hot water
in small Quantities conveniently obtained by electric
heater and in the dressing the hair curer heated
by electricity is convenient and cheap might mention
also the portable plate warmer which the chill is
taken off plates quickly by electricity; electric waffle
irons and electric smoothing irons.
Il made estimate that to heat a New York
theaer by electricity would % per than
by coal at S. ton In that instance heat to be
supplied from electric every chair With
coal the present price can be small
cheaply than by electricity than by building
fire; but to heat up whole buildings devices yet
be improved by which electricity compete with COAL
even at present prices of coal"