The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-28
THE NONPAREn MAN

THE NONPAREIL MAN
for a Dollar a Bushel-Ti1e Foreor-
daIned and Predetermined Price for
Wheat as Much as is to Is the Pre-
destined Ratio OF Value of Gold and
sIIyer-uncIe Has Stored His Wheat
and Is Very Stubborn In His Views.
There is one man who is pleased at the
advance In the price of wheat. He is the
farmer who has his stuff stored away
waiting, waiting. oh so patiently and tend
erlye for 81 wheat He is now wearing the
rapt look of one who hears distant music.
There is no lodging the fact that n
large number of veteran agriculturists are
feeling as independent as the owners OF
a New dorsey octopus with the bonds COW
ering all the property laid away in safety
deposit and with water selling to the. pub
lie at a. Wall street quotation of SO per.
There are people who believe that 81 is the
and fereordained quotation
on wheat just as others have believed that +
Is to was a foreordained and divine ratio
of difference in value between two metals.
A man who has sweat right thru seed
time and harvest" says Uncle El1ery
lodged drought, flood, lghtin', and
grasshopper, naturally believes that his
stuff is with a lid a bushel and, by hen,
he's going to git 1t or feed it to the cattle.
Il put my upper 40 into wheat last
spring. said Uncle Ellery, and TUX off
IN bushels to the acre In spite of the
flood. I've got her thrashed and stored
In the barn, and 1 don't intend to sell a
pint of it, by ginger, until 1 see how
he VIII i'm he to,1.
the winter. Kansas used to have crop
but they've had four or five fat
years, down there and they're due to get
a slap on the neck now A short crop of
winter wheat next spring would make our
stuff look bargain counter cheap at a dol
lar a busheT
mo, sir: SOC is pretty good as wheat
used to go. but your. old uncle isn't pushed
for cash this year and he's going to hang
to his crop like a colored pastor to a vel.
low-legged chicken
rs the sun gradually losing it's heat?"
we are asked. The sun strikes US as all
right, but if you had said the furnace,
A recent Rhode Island decision holds
that if you climb on a mans cart and his
dog bites you. you can collect damages of
the owner. A. man at the time usually
wants to collect them Of the dog and with
, an ak.
A writer in Harper's Weekly asks
know, but wherever it goes, we intend to
follow.
| For several days after Thanksgiving we
continue to suffer from what Beatrice
calls heart hunger at least it is in that
general vicinity.
! President Taylor Of Stephens College in
Missouri says that ANY president Or pro-
lessor who encourages such a. brutal and
degraded sport as football is ENCOURAGING
brutality and a spirit of crime. - DIR.
TAYLOR says. furthermore, that tive
thirds Of the work done in the gymnasiums
here and in other parts of the country is
positively injurious. and tell you, there
is not an athlete or gymnast in the United
States to-day who will live to the age Of
So" Even were this true, we fear that.
had Dr. Taylor seen the second half at
Madison THURSDAY. his tall hat and UNI
brella would have climbed for the zenith in
| rIe2excitem emit =
! : With Carrie Nation as an actress in
| "Ten Nights in a Barroon, the barroom
is likely to suffer from nervous break
| down.
| Ellie Metchnikoff, the Russian Pasteur,
has written book which he calls "op
timistic.' 1t tries to prove that man does
Inot exist beyond the grave He not only,
4 attacks this deep-seated hope. but he
also devotes much space to. pointing out
| mans present amiseries. Mans whole ma
ture is made up of dsharmonies which de-
l stroy his comfort, abolish contentrnent
and poison all his joys. Indeed, Profess
sor Metchnikof. industriously calls our at
! tention to a multitude, of miseries which
otherwise we might have biissfully for
gotten The cause of these human ills,
4 he points out, is disharmony imbedded in
mans nature. and the cause of disharmony
i is, the tremendous leap which man has
made above the lower animals in the chain
of evolution Carrying with him the in
stincts and characteristics of brute crea :
ton. he has entered a much higher scale
of being. and the disharmony between the
/ position he has attained and the brute
| qualities he has brought up with him.
physical and moral, is the cause of all
his woes. And now for the authors "op-
timism'' He asserts that in the course OF
ages the disharmonies in the makeup of
: 1nan-that is of other rner1-will diSap-
; pear in a perfect adjustment to the new
and higher environment.
We fail to see how it is going to profit
7 dead man much if the man he is the
great -great-great-g OF is
going to be more perfectly adjusted. while
he himself is -deader than a Thanksgiving
turkey For the present we propose to
pasture on some religion other than Flies.
It isn't "a brand OF, philosophy. you can
sing hymns to.
Finding that looping the loop not
+ quite devilish enough. J. Fl. Barber. an
American trick cyclist, has invented q
variation that much more closely skirts
the edges Of manslaughter and assisted
homicide than the plain loop. The Paris
: ians have been viewing his new feat with
: GREATNESS interest and dismay. 1t seems
that Barber rides d loop from the top
: of the circumference of which a gap six
: yards wide eighteen feet) has been cut.
Apparently the cyclist in his whirlwind
| ride of the inside circle flies across the
: gap, the momentum carrying him safely
, over the gulf. This abbreviated loop is not
exactly as satisfactory as the guillotine,
: because SO far the rider has escaped death,
whereas the guillotine gets him every time
2 without a single miss. Any one who en-
] joys flirting with sudden death will be
e sure to enjoy the new loop trick. Pos
J, sjbly the width Of the gap might be in
4 point where it is not quite as safe as ii
G seems to be now. As for our part, when
we long for enjoyment of this kind we
: propose to go out and try to trip up the
fast freight with our front foot.
"A. J. r.