The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-10-30
WHISPERS AND VANITY.
The Wearer of Whiskers is Cen
orally Stuck on Himself"

burning popular belief, in various parts
of this country that the wearing Of
whiskers-that is. genuine "whiskers"
Of the long, flowing SORTS always an
affection and in ninety-nine cases out
of a hundred positive testimony that
the wearer is stuck on himself" says
The New York Commercial.
A coterie Of choice spirits out in
Frisco used to delight to put the thing
TO the test, and their final decision was
that. without exception the Wearer Of
long whiskers is vain in the possession
Of them and may be made to put up
with a good many personal indignities
if only his insulter understands how to
appeal successfully to his WhiskerS' -
vanity. These merry charters used to
lay wagers Of wine and dinners and
money, with outsiders always, on the
chances of offending any whiskered
individual encountered on the street,
in a car, or a ferry-boat or in any public
place by pulling or stroking his beard.
They never lost. The ~insinuating COM
pliment on that soft, silky. beautiful
beard of yours always carried that
day.
One of that coterie has latterly come
to New York to live. He is Arthur c..
Donnell, an official of a leading gold
mining company, whose suite Of Of
fees is in the Broad-Exchange. He has
been here only about a. year. has tried
the Whiskers-pulling trick here on all
sorts and conditions of men, and new
er once has he failed to do the trick,
always escaping unframed and deep in
the good graceS of the party thus
pulled.
Down near Fulton Ferry the other
day Donnell and a friend noticed an
aged Sicilian tending a corner fruit
stand. He vas neatly dressed in blue
serge, and his snow-white beard.
bushy and bristling about the cheeks
and ears. tapered off symmetrically like
an inverted pyramid, the apex being
we'll below the bottom of his waiscoat.
as he stood erect. About the lips the
beard was badly yelloWed through ex.
cessive and careless smoking. The man
spoke fairly good English, and his tout
ensemble" seemed at the outset to for
bid any familiarity with him. APP
preaching him brusquely Donnell laid
a soft hand on the old mans shoulder
and asked:
How much for his basket OF
grapes?"
Eighty cents"
why, out in California, my coun-
try. 1 can get the same thing for a
Quarter!"
In ma country" repoined the ole
man, "only ten centesimo! But not in
NnU Vnr1y'' nn1 l1 rInD1y I;~ Ion
sorrowfully.
"Ah," sighed the i%nsinuating Don
nell, sympathetically, how 1 would love
to live in dear old Sicily!" And will
his right arm still on the old mans
shoulder and his left hand toying with
the apex of the whiskers. he added
turning to his friend: mo such, fine
boards as this in America, Jacki I have
seen them there in Sicily fully Q u fee
long, but none so silky and beautiful
as the old gentleman's here" Their
Donnell began to stroke the whiSker!
vigorously.
No protest from his whiskers!
when l was 80 years Old" he said
reminiscently and proudly. this beart
of mine was fully a foot longer thai
now"-and here he pulled an old-ttm'
tin-type from his breast pocket to prov,
it.
What glorious whiskers." exclainle,
the two visitors in chorus, as they ex
amined the likeness. The old man in
sisted on their keeping the picture as
souvenir, gave them ach a big red ap
pie, and fairly glowed with pride wheI
both gave his beard a goodbye pull.
Ten minute later in Wall street tn
pair encountered a tall, well-groome
man of about 60 coming out of the Of
custom house. He wore a high ha
with a deep weed on it. gold-bowe
s~pectacles, and a bushy gray bear
parted in the middle and combed we.
out onto his shoulders; a victoria va
awaiting him at the curb: he was dig
niied and even naughty in appearance
and this moved the New Yorker I
whisper to the Californian. "a col
quart you can't work him."
Done. Here goes"
The Californian rushed UP TO tn
stranger with extended hand, salute
him as Uncle Edward" and then at
fected deep modification at his blunde
as the elderly man stood him Off"
PERHAPS" explained Donnell, insin
uatingly, Il may be pardoned for m
mistake. You nave the same figure an,
general style as my uncle. the sam
goOd-ftting clothes, the rudy cheek:
and that magnificent beard of yours i
a perfect image Of his"-and here tn
chatter touched the hirsute forest, part
ing it lightly with his gloved RICH
hand.
Il trust" responded his whiskers.
beamingly, that your uncle's bear
isn't falling out so fast as mine is.
much fear that l shall have to shaw
it off,"
Don't do it. l implore you" pledde
Donneli. its something quite too gran
m he Sarrjfcedt"