The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-05-31
Beats DooIey's Letters.

miliarly known as Panhandle Bill
week or two ago some Of the clerks
that dropped into Clyde Reeds Office,
wrote a letter to Panhandle Bill, telling
him that they would visit him during the
Worlds Fair Every man that came into
the office who formerly knew Panhandle
Bill, signed his name to the epistle which
was duly forwarded. 1t is as follows:
Wichita, Kansas. May 5, 1903.
Mr.. VIM. F. Allmon, St. Louis, Mo.
Dear Panhandle Bin:-After noting
treatment accorded to the various gov
errors and the Presidential party, we
hasten to assure you that the shabby
conduct of the St Louis people viii cut
no ice with US, in our intention to pay you
a three weeks visit apiece next year dur
ing the fair We have fun confidence in
you and believe that your hospitality viii
be above criticism. Please reserve for
us suitable quarters. Sincerely yours,
(Signed by the Railway Mail Service peo-
pie at Wichita)
In due time the answer came back and
II is quite interesting. as it touches on
the hobbies of most of the men who
signed the first letter. The answer fol-
lows:
st. Louis, Mo, May II, 1SO3.
FIends, Ruffians and Country Jakes:
Pardon me: this is what l thought. but
what I meant to say was: Friends,
Romans and Countrymen.
1 am in receipt of your valued favor
of recent date informing me that you
would each and all do yourselves the
honor of accepting the hospitality of your
old comrade for a visit of three weeks
duration while attending the grand round
up to be held in Boodlersviile next year
Mere words cannot express the feeling
Of raptuous joy that permeated my entire
anatomy al this touching evidence of your
affection and esteem. I was simply over
come with emotion. Cohorts of giadness
chased each other in rapid succession over
my classic phisiogomy when i reflected
on the noble spirit of self-secrifice that
prompted you fellows 20 honor your old
friend by comforting upon him the pleas
ure of your society for three whole weeks.
Fully realizing that gentlemen Of your
high attachments and cultured refinement
should not be expected to put up with
the accommodations usually furnished the
President. Governor and other ordinary
mortals, have arranged to have you all
in my private dining coach which is
1itteu with hot and cold water and long
distance telephone. knowing the habits
and tastes of each Of you from long asso-
citation. I have through the aid of in
fuential friends here Cwho do not know
my past succeeded in securing quarters
for each of you where the surroundings
will be most congenial pleasant and
home-lille, as all the hote and most
all the natives viii be full"
For the Hon c. NJ. Reed I have Sc
cured a large airy room over Republican
headquarters at 2627 Olive street, where
competent instructors in political lore viii
be in attendance at all hours
Col. L. F. Cochran who, from his hr-
suite appendage and military bearing, re-
sembles to a marked degree one of our
most talented generals of civil war fame,
will be domicied at the old Grant home
stead on the Skinker road near jefferson
Barracks.
a quiet spot in the National Cemetery
has been reserved for Transfer Clerk
Graves" where trains do not stop.
The Bishop" will. of course. have
room in the Cathedral with plenty of
robes.
Charley Mcdonald and Cutter having
been stockholders in one of the largest
financial institutions, will occupy the
waiting room" in the palatial front Of
fee Of Z. ]. Arnold & Co.
H s. Dickie. Walter Barley. V. L. Al
exander and A J. Paul will be cared for
by my friend. Mr.. A. Busch, purveyor
of liquid refreshments to the American
people.
l have arranged for r. NJ. c. Hosford
TO stop with the postmaster at Catawissa.
Mo, few miles out of the city. where
the shooting is good and he can get to
the city in short notice
A state room has been reserved for Doc
Smith on board Fred Trickeys private
yacht. which will be anchored to one of
the piers of the Eads bridge.
l. a. Brown Will have commodious
quarters at @. A. r. Hail. A duplicate
whist set Will be furnished The fire de-
partment viii not be called If Browny
has a 'rigor' and proceeds to move i'm
meeiately on the enemy's works.
d. f. Barnes. the interchangeable knight /
of the 18th century. viii have a wen ven
tilated apartment in Castle Hall" fitted |
with turret. moat. draw bridge battle 1
ments and all the inconvenience Of medi- |
eval times. The Keeper Of Records and
Seals will act as outer guard and inner
sentinel but if he keeps d. +. from at
tending lodge meeting or a postal clerks /
convention he win he decapitated al once |
H S. Hilbert viii have a room in the /
board of education building on Locust !!
street The sidebaard will be stocked I
with coffee, doughnuts and pure Havanas |
made from genuine Kansas alfalfa
For II. c. Rose ! have secured a room /
I'm the Board of Trade with a private
wire to the Real Estate Exchange. where /
quotations Of the Wichita market viii be /
received hourly. A double barrelled shot /
sun viii be provided and when feeling 4
a little out Of sorts. he can take a shot +
az the r. NJ. s. the administration or
any politician or preacher Pa Torrey. 4
who Is noted in the R NJ s for his VIC
lent ''cuss words" which he hurls through /
his Pefferian whislIers. will be doniciled 4
at the Newsboys' Home. where he VIII. 1
no doubt, acquire new stock Of choice /
EXPIRE siors Of still more forceable char 4
acter.
Ed Wells. having once served on the /
police force Of the city. will be at home /
TO his friends in Cell No Is. at the Four /
Courts. Chief Kelly will see that ne has i
good time
Now that have provided for all you /
Fellows. trust that YOU will all come /
early and avoid the rush. Your dearly 1
beloved? PANHANDLE BILL"