The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-04-26
FUN OF THE WORLD.

Terence V. Powderly formerly commissioner general
immigration, Penrose of Pennsylvania.
just outside the White House the morning. Hows
your govt getting aong?' bystander asked Mr. Pow
derby. I'm troubled with old injury TO my knee.
but I suppose might well call it govt as any
thing he replied TIP my way. remarked Senator
Penrose. they call it whisky on the hoof
sz
Englshnan used meet the great philosopher
Schopenhauer, every morning walking with his
poodle along the promenade in Frankfort-onthe-
Schopenhauers eccentric appearance. deeply i'm
thought excited the Englishmans criouity te
such extent day could contain himself
longer addressed him abruptly thus: Tell sir who
in the name o. fate are yous" 'Ah" sehopenhauer
piled Il only wish knew that myself
< <
When shot was fired in wings the Tivoli opera
Francisco. during the third act of Car
Zelie de Lussan's opening night. disappointed
spectator considered Tennerys Don Jose about the
remarked, with sight of relief. Thank God.
Those about him who shared his feelings snckered sym
pathetcaly But smiles turned laughter
Don Jose presently bobbed up serenely and the
laxative wag exclaimed tragcally Ye gods her aim
was bad. She missed him
* Z
Nat Goodwin examining at
hibit the other when the painter of the
picture approached him and said: You to like that
picture Goodwin; who
would perpetrate thing like that ought to get six
months This too much for the artist. Why, what
10 you about painting he exclaimed; you're
only you know a bad picture? You
never painted one" NO" drawled Goodwin. that's
enough. But l know bad egg when across
it. and. would you believe it, laid either
The great vessel speeding her to New
York and the dinner Forward two
three of the crew were scanning copy of the menu
of the meal which going on in the saloon
Joe" said the tough Old salt who holding the
card may table mean?"
Il heerd mate" replied
Lets ask old Sam; 'e's been furrn lot
and what's he's a scholard."
Therefore Sam the boaswan consulted. and he
thoughtfully stroked his beard he considered the
knotty point.
WELL he said at last. its like this ere Them
swels the saloon has soup. bit of this
bit of that and a bit of else and calls
dotty- We HAYES table doty, only mixes it ALL and
calls it ash"
William Jennings Bryan tells his friends of weird
experience he a barber shop Keokuk. Iowa.
Hope you'll never come in here again." remarked
sad-eyed barber he lathered the and
dabbed chunk of foam big a charlotte into
his mouth
What's wrong?" Mr. Bryan.
'Oh. the boss of this shop answered the barber
lie began stropping the He's the
lived F1ap flap hap-1ap). Why. do know what
he does? He's Shyiock. (Flap-fap-fap- flap That's
what a reg'lr Shyock. Don't give a FLAP
fap-fap-nap) and kind of fair show. Every time 1
a he fines 10 cents if cash EN- it's a
quarter.
But, say (nap-fap-hap-f ap) I've got him mile
today. Let him ahead and fine all he likes. l
the yestdy Keep STILL please.
Yet Mr.. Bryan had only three cuts and couple of
gashes, after all
< x x
On the day ex-President Clevelands first naugura
in Washington. the late Thomas p Ochitree
cab TO go TO the capitol. The driver was drunk and
the horse away Tom thrown and
severely injured that he clutches for than
a year sued the Pennsylvania railroad compeny.
which owned the cab for $4,000 damages. His friends
oculary insisted that he would cling those cruches
until the decided. Meanwhile he a
Glover dinner Philadelphia and. being called
speak to respond, with crutches in sight
he words. Mr.. President Mr.. Pos
tIethwaite of the Pennsylvania railroad. Of the
fellows in the club. Colonel Ochree
where your erutches?" enough to floor most
but Tom was equal to the emergency. Quick as
a this Under the table. sir. where
you will a minutes" Mr.. Postlethwaite joined
heartily anybody in the laugh following this knock
down blow.
*
That boy will be the death of me some day" de-
cared the head Of the family. I'm 1 don't know
where he gets all his impudence and self assurance.
surely from He returned home from college
the other day spend the holidays, / supposed and
entering my Office he threw his floor
easy chair put his my desk lift cigarette
inhaled few pufs and then, turning ianguidiy
he drawled:
Il say. dad you remember the time you were
home college,"
Il did There of denying it, for day.
in burst Of confidence. had told him Of escapad
boy and lived to regret that had been in
discreet.
Wei said he. history has repeated Itself
What do you mean. you young scalIywage' roared
&c oh said ne. easily, I've been sent home. As
tonishing isn't it, dad. how such things will in
a family?
don't see why they 70 knock the policy
shops" said a barber Clark street. Chicago. ne
hot towel through the air and slapped
the face Of the in tho chalr.
Ever pIay2" lacoaicalIy nmmbied the through
the hot cloth
Sure Who doesn't? Lots Of IN every few
days. I've great system of ms own
Does L produce" asked customer
sure I got 81 Tuesday. though ] spent 8 before 7
Bot the stem IL a vinHer. III bet yoE never
heard like H. Way worked easiest thaE
earth and I'm going q hlt old ". Policy where
he lives day
Il can shut my eyes and see = long r. NUMBER
hundreds n figures that besi1 night o. my
and reach away FOR miles. 7 look numbers for
little while red tassris hanging 70 some -
en- Those tle lucky boys 7 Gl~k AZ n
numbers zih tasseis and write down q
piece q paper forget Wher the policy man
with bis tickets always play Those uunlaers
ard
win sad the customer hurrvlnE 70 finish ne
hers statement.