The Minneapolis journal., 1903-11-05

melted away like a small beer in the
presence of the sporting editor.
Neither9pig nor mule is allowed in DR..
Dowie's Zion. The pig is kindly and
inoff fensive animal, but no one, can have
to- do with the mule and retain or culti-5
lsvate a high degree of spirituality. The
mule is error. ~ ze. ss8flIa
More than ever since the election of
Tuesday do we stand by our tariff plank
printed in these columns year ago:
| THE tariff should be revised, but durn
the man who lays, a, hand on the sacred
document" -
/ J. p Morgan is in Chicago but it is not
necessary to take your railroad in over
might.
Sir Enry Irving is going to take one
more slap at the American pocketbook,
! hum, haw, Matthias.
1 A number of newspaper men have gone
4 into poultry raising, but ST. Paul man
has retired and gone into bee raising.
If the bee alights on the raiser and
l:''blows FIRST the busy little insect is
likely to do about all the raising
! New York seems to have slain both De-
livery and Dowie.
! The American Health association favors
Ithe canteen. When our old friend George
F. Wells editor of Backbone comes out
for the canteen, we may be led to believe
that there is some good in it.
There is less nutrinent in ten pints Of
beer than in one slice .of bread and but
ter. Yet there are people who do not act
that way.
A syndicate article is being printed i'll
: the newspapers of this country regarding
the neglected grave Of Bill Nye. The neg
lect of his burial place is due to the fact
: that his 1neager estate having been con-,
verted into money was placed in North
Carolina bank which promptly failed and
swallowed up the whole sum. If every
one who ever laughed with Bill Nye
would contribute quarter, the humorlst
would have one of the nobIest tombs on
! ! this continent.
Dr. Wiley of the agricultural depart
y ment is going to try the effects Of alum
on the nervous system. We have known
, nervous systems that just puckered right
: up under the effects of a round of hot
q baking powder biscuit and three or four
g rounds of whisky before lunch. We don't
: believe it was the alum, but it may have
9 been.
t One of the aldermen Of Marshall, Mimi.
}. if Mr.. Whitney's News Messenger can be
s believed-and it can--is in trouble over
: a demand for lighter streets at night.
He. was taken to task severely for the
e city's darkness by a. travelling man last
J Sunday morning, and bad blood was en-
l. gendered. In the evening the alderman
: was coaxed out Of his sullenness and to
g church, where he went to sleep during
II the reading lesson. He was half aroused
a by the words, 'let there be light, and
y there was light" and, remembering only
n his morning controversy, he exclaimed:
he mot by a -- sight; the city can't af-
ford'-and then a vigorous shake from
d. his wife brought him to his senses, to
le realize he was making a spectacle OF
x himself. Marshall is still dark at night.
Of We spoke of the glee club in terms Of
ep sorrow the other day. With 1t are the
four geniuses who cuff the guitar or
al mandolin and sing alleged comic songs
e. We always laugh, but just why we after
te wards wonder. After picking away al
ed the instruments awhile and listening III
Il, tently to see if they are running neck and
I neck. the mandolin four finally sit back
,, contentedly and all cuff together. The
ne little instruments go off with a rattle an6
Isl a bang After d preliminary tackle. ths
Isl feur musicians suddenly, burst into; song
st, perhaps something like this:
BE Fathers beard has whiskers in it.
he Angel Mabel splits the wood; -
o. Why should 5. anntie ta1, punish u sno Willie ~
o. Those may not be the exact words
is, but they convey the sense of the song
or Then there is great laughter and applause
ne and the boys do it again. It's kind o
er, fun, tho, isn't it, come to think of it
nd Oh, yes, the glee club gets our quartz
n when it strikes the enterprising suburb
er' of Stony Lonely.
he
lal Mont Pelee is sending up a cone o
on rock or probably of pumice stone, t
lth an almost incredible height. Several eN
as petitions Of physical scientists are fool
ing around in the vicinity Of the volcano
nd but no ambitious scientist with Van Dyk
air whiskers has yet ventured to wet hi
ay finger and touch this great cone Of rocl
ch to see if it will siZzIe. One reason i
is that the whole top of the mountain is q
eh hot as the south side of the lot in lawn
ere moving time. and unless a man had al
7as asbestos suit on and could demonstrat
1e- over a fiery furnace, as Shadrack did. h
ing wouldn't last much longer than lemol
lst ice in the presence of young and beau
ger teous school teacher. The volcano is ais
sending out poisonous gases and ther
ne. is a probability that the cone will fal
lon over some day.
OF Why any scientist persists in foolin
her around a volcano when he be sittin
comfortably on the front steps listenin;
md to his best girl tee-heeing is what get
yell us. A. J. r.