davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02

did those ducks taste last night? Were
they good?"
They didn't taste at all, for was
fool enough to leave them on the rack
in the train"
Some months later a mutual friend
remarked: by the way, doctor, did
you really leave the ducks in the
train that night?''
The doctor f1ared up at once.
What do you know about them?
It l had known who played that trick
on me l would have killed him next
day, for never felt so upset in all my
life. got home a little after o'clock
and found my friends and their wives
waiting for me. l at once handed the
package to my wife and told her to
hurry the cook along, and in about
two minutes heard a blood-curdling
scream in the kitchen. I dashed out
to learn the cause and there was my
wife standing dumbfounded before
some medicine bottles and heaps OF
paper and rags. To make matters
worse there was not single thing
in the ice box, and we had to chase
round and make up a meal of canned
goods.
*'The only consolation I had in the
whole matter was that think I fooled
the crowd next morning and put them
against good guessing proposition. "
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
THIS MARVEL OF SCIENCE.

Sans Surprise When the Chickens
Went to Roost in Daytime.
During visit to the South with an
eclipse expedition some years ago an
eminent American professor met an
old negro servant whose duty it was
to look after the chickens Of the estab-
lishment where. he was staying. The
day before the eclipse took place the
professor in an idle moment called the
old man to him and said:
"Sam, tomorrow morning at IL
o'clock If you watch your chickens you
will find that they will 60 to roost."
Sam was skeptical, Of course, but
when at the appointed time next day
the sun in the heavens was darkened
and the chickens repaired to roost, the
negroes establishment knew no bounds.
He approached the professor in awed
wonder.
"Massa," he asked, chow long ago
did you know dat dem chickens would
go to roost?"
ooh, long time," said the profess
sor, airily.
did you know a year ago, NASSAU"
EYES,"
"Then dat beats de debil!" ex-
claimed the astonished old man. Dem
chickens weren't Matched year ago!"
Omaha Mercury.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
One Answer for All.


Lancaster, N. Y, March 30th.-Post-
master Remers is still in receipt of
many letters asking II his cure has
held good.
It will be remembered that some
time ago the particulars Of Mr.. Re-
mers' case were published in these
columns. He had been very low with
Diabetes. Physicians could do moth
ing to save him and he grew worse
and worse till someone recommended
Dodd's Kidney Pills. A treatment OF
this remedy was begun and when eight
boxes had been taken, Mr.. Remers
began to see an improvement, which
continued as the treatment proceeded
till he was completely restored.
He has since enjoyed perfect health
and is as robust and able man as any
In Lancaster. Interviewed the other
day he said:
MANY people wrote to me when the
story of my case was first printed and
some write to me yet asking if the
cure was only temporary and if the
diabetes has returned. have only ons
answer to everybody. Three years ago
I was very low with diabetes. The
best physicians failed to help me and
Dodd's Kidney Pills cured me! am
we'll and strong and have not had the
slightest return of the old trouble"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
GOT FEE IN STOLEN STAMPS

Lawyer Was True to the Ethics Of
His Profession.
Young 10 Folks prosecution oil
the boodlers in st. Louis reminds me
of the time we had in breaking up
crime in that city during the regime
Of the Whisky Ring" said an old New
York attorney the other day. II was
a youngster then, an assistant in the
district attorneys Office, and while
didn't have anything to do with the
cases against the Whisky Ring, I had
all could do. attending to the other
criminals.
1T became my duty to prosecute
two negroes who were charged with
robbing small postof1ce in the
county. We had little doubt of their
guilt, but the evidence against them
was purely circumstantial, and they
were cleared. I met their attorney
the next day, and in talking over the
case asked him what fee he had re-
ceived.
'They were such disreputable look
ing fellows, I supposed you wouldn't
get anything out Of them,' I said by
way of explanation.
"'Oh, I didn't do so bad he re
piled. I got ten dollars in money
and twenty in postage, stamps" y
New York Press.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
,G:ooD JOKE ON. .kU1ELlK.t

Insane Woman's Naive Comment on
s.>a { 29 His Playing. ~. ..,HI%f}#
1 The approaching marriage of Jan
Kubelik. the violinst, tb.the Countess
Marianne Csaky recaliss an incident
in his career which he told to a well.
known impresario not long ago. H.
Il was asked to play before the in,
mates OF an insane asylum by an
alienist," said Kubelik, R''the doctor
believing that music was fine medi.
cine for unbalanced minds. accord.
ingly. accompanied him to the insti-
tuition, where he introduced me, and
said I would favor my hearers with
something gay and happy.
Il hadn't intended to de- this, but
following his suggestion, l played 8
brilliant Slav composition, which !
hoped would be joyous enough. The
crazy folk were all seated about the
platform in chairs and seemed to be
intensely interested. AS I finished, q
very pretty young woman rose and
beckoned to me. I thought, artist
like, that she wanted an encore, and
so said to the doctor:
ASK her what she DESIRES
HE rose to his feet and was about
to question her, when she exclaimed:
TO think of the likes of me be
ing in here and he being at large il
the wurrld!'
"That was the last time I evel
played in an insane asylum."-Nev
York Times.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
His Friends Ate the Ducks
While the Doctor and His Invited Guests Had to Eat Canned
Goods-But the Physician Had Not Altogether the
s. Worst of the Joke

A doctor who lives in Highland
Park has his Office in the Venetian
building, says the Chicago Record
Herald. One day last fall he informed
the other occupants of the suite that
one of his patients had just presented
him with half dozen mallard ducks,
and he was going to telephone to his
wife to invite couple of his friends
and their wives to come down and
spend the evening and help to eat
them.
When he went out to luncheon the
other doctors determined to play a
joke on him. They undid the package,
took out the ducks, and in place put
some medicine bottles filled with
water to make up weight, and then
stuffed crumpled paper and cloths
round them so as to get the proper
soft feeling to the package, and then
restored the original wrapper. The
ducks were taken to restaurant and
ordered to be ready at o'clock.
The doctor started for home on the
$500 train and at his medical friends
in the city started in on the feast.
Next morning to their surprise he
never said one word, but went about
his business in the ordinary way. BY
o'clock the silence became intoler-
able to the jokers, and at last one Of
them said: by the way, doctor, how
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
REMoDELED PALACE.
Has Rocco Furniture the Precise
H.: Z Pattern Of the OriuinaI, p ,2:fa&&23

Has Rocco Furniture the Precise
< T.s ~. + Pattern Of the Original:
The new palace at Potsdam is being
thoroughly refitted. The Neues Palais
has as yet no elevator, and one is be-
ing constructed for the use of the
members Of the imperial family. Ar
rangements are also being made to in.
trcduce electric light. When these
changes have been accomplished all
the historic rooms and apartments will
be freshly decorated. A start is even
now being made with the dwelling
ing rooms and state department OF
Frederick the Great. These are to
have new silken hangings throughout,
interviewer with silver and gold. Fred"
erick ordered the original hangings
from a mandatory in Lyons, and not
only have the new ones been ordered
in the same place, but the very same
pattern and design of the curtains are
still to be had, 50 that the effect of the
apartments as redecorated will be ex-
actly the same as the old ones. New
rocco furniture, also after the precise
pattern Of the original, has been Or
dered for these rooms Of Frederick the
Great-New York Mail and Express.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
Reform in Language Teaching.

Reform in Language Teaching.
The American conquest of Europe
in purely material matters has become
an acknowledged fact. But even in
matter not purely material, American
expansion now progresses with giant
strides. This is particularly evident
in the teaching of languages. The
old European methods are rapidly be-
ing replaced, or at least reformed, by
the Berlitz methods, called in Europe,
on account Of it's origin, the American
method. The Berlitz schools, which
have. about two dozen branches in this
country, have spread over nearly 200
European cities. President Loubet of
France Entrusted the linguistic educa,
ton Of his children to this institution.
and the German Emperor displayed
his confidence in the Berlitz school by
placing in it's care the French course
at the military school of Potsdam.
while in another Berlitz school the
crown prince perfected himself in
speaking foreign languages.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
Visions. OF the Verdict.


She was 40 if she was day. He
was 22., They were che only two &C.
cupants of one Of the carriages Of the
Scotch express. T. ~ ~. T.,
=. Are. you a commercial traveller"
she asked suddenly. Il. ::
Yes, madam, 7 am" r.. -.
In what line, STRIP r. H. - :
Groceries, madam ~> sss. s. .,
1T is you, then, you horrid, horrid
man! Aren't you ashamed Of yourself
70. so annoy q lone woman passenger
} :..s madam? What do you mean?"
4 ii, you base wretch. i You know
It'll you that has been scattering
samples, Of rice all over the floor to
make people think we are young
married couple. v. s 2..} u 81
y N The train was Just stopping and he
took one look at that face, picked up
saEbrown# paper bag that had accident.
ally got torn, dashed down the plat
form, and though his luggage has been
deposited two weeks ct the station he
has not appeared to claim II london
Answers. 4. u
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
Veteran Fireman Gives Good Advice
Chief Sw1g1ey of St Louis Points Out How Many Lives
Might Be Saved People Would Keep Their Presence
of Mind in Time of Danger

some time before the fire reaches
them. Persons should wait until
their clothes catch on fire before
jumping. 1t is almost sure death to
jump, and always far better to
wait.
Burning buildings do not fall i'm.
mediately. They are generally burn.
ing at least half an hour before they
begin to fall. Even if the building
does begin to fall, the portion where
one is may not fall. Of course, where
persons are placed in great. danger,
minutes seem like hours. The en-.
gines get to fires in the majority OF
cases within a few minutes after the
alarm has been given. Another thing
that I am reminded of is the fact of
how few persons know the location of
fire alarm boxes nearest to their resi-.
dences, and how to give an alarm.
Everyone should familiarize himself
with the location of the box and how
to turn in an alarm"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02

Were you ever caught in fire?
Pray that you never may be, but if
you ever are one of the unfortunates,
heed this advice given by the veteran,
Chief Swingley of the st. Louis fire
department., who says that in forty
nine out of every fifty cases where
persons jump from burning buildings
and are killed or injured they would
be rescued if they waited until the ar
rival of the firemen.
What persons should do if cut off
from escape is to shut the door of the
room in which they are and make for
the nearest window. The best way is
to crawl. There is always a space
next the floor where the air is good.
Smoke always rises. l don't care if
building is filled with dense smoke,
a window can be reached by crawling
and keeping the head close to the
floor. Persons should get on the out
side of the window. The room may
be filed with fire, but it will take
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
Blessings Of Childhood.

John Ruskin, in counting up the
blessings Of his childhood, reckoned
these three for, first good: Peace. He
had been taught the meaning Of peace
in thought, act and word; had never
heard fathers or mothers voice once
raised in any dispute, nor seen an
angry glance in the eyes OF either,
nor had ever seen moments trouble
or disorder in any household matter.
Next to this he estimated ODE ience !;
he obeyed q word or lifted finger of
father or mother as . ship her helm.
without an idea Of resistance. And,
lastly, faith; nothing was ever prom
Used him that was not given; nothing
ever threatened him that was not
Indicted, and nothing ever Told him
that vas not true.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02

entered. l Immediately recognized
him as party had arrested several
years before, and I trembled In my
boots for fear the recognition might
be mutual.
when his glance fell upon me he
paused. Then he advanced a step or
two and, with an oath, said: Boys, that
feller's fly cop. I knows i'm. He
sent me to de pen onct.'
For brief moment there was an
ominous silence-the awful silence
that precedes a storm. I realized my
danger. I knew my life wasn't worth
a penny if the mans statement was
believed. Something had to be done,
and done quickly. So 1 followed the
first impulse that popped into my
mind and trusted to luck.
with the force and ferocity of an
enraged lion I sprang upon the new
conner. Call me fly cop, will you?'
/ cried, striking him a powerful blow
with my fist and knocking him down.
<Try to queer me when want chance
to earn some money, will your yelled
falling on top of him and pommeling
him about the head.
Still rolling with him upon the floor
l placed my mouth to his ear as
though trying to bite him and whis.
pered: The games up, partner, and
you don't want to get caught. In five
minutes dozen officers will be here.
You'd better skip!' Then adding in
a loud voice, ringing with indignation,
be careful who you call fly cop next
time let him up.
was mistaken, boys he said,
quite humbly. never saw this man
before And he opened the door hur-
riedly; they had greatly enjoyed the
incident.
Il began taking the money out of
my pockets and laying it on the
table,.
What are you doing?' asked the
leader, surprised.
Why said I, innocently, you fel-
lows amt got no confidence in me now,
and u
Oh, fddlesticks!' exclaimed the
other, impatisntly, Jim was drunk.
Go ahead. Don't go back on us now
$50 kept the bogus. I had them
beaten, and few hours later they
were all behind the bars, including
the man had thrashed. But it. was q
pretty tight squeeze."-Ne York
Times, 1" . ~: ~: -
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
Made Failure 81 His Lite
Sad Story of The Rev. EDWARD Dunbar Famous Evaneel,
(# and author Of there's Light IL the Window for
| Thee"-Died in Poverty and Disgrace. - X

The body Of Rev, Edward Dunbar,
author Of the Sunday school song,
There's a Light in the Window for
Thee," will be taken from the pau
pers' graveyard at Coffeyville, Kan,
and buried by the side Of the mother
Oh the deceased in New Bedford, Mass.
Relatives of the dead preacher-poet
lately have communicated with the
Coffeyville authorities on the subject.
After serving a term in the Mime
sofa penitentiary for bigamy in the
early '70s, Dunbar became wanderer
and nothing was heard of him till
three years ago in the Coffeyville city
jail, where he applied for food and
lodging. 1t was stormy night, and
none knew from whence he came. He
was given succor, but death came to
hlmx before morning: Letters in his
pockets told who he was, but as no
kin could be located by wire, the au-
thorities buried him.
Dunbar was rising young preacher
in New Bedford, with wife and four
children. Apparently, without cause
ne left his family and came to Kansas,
engaging in evangelistic work. He
conducted revivals in many towns
with marvellous success. He went
from Kansas to Minneapolis, Mimi,
to conduct series of revival meet.
lngs. While there he fell in love with
young woman who attended his. re-
ViVal and married hor aooipet &bo
wishes of her folks, who were suspi-
cious that all was not right with the
evangelist.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
MORE THAN HALF
Suffer From Coffee Drinking.

Suffer From Coffee Drinking.
Coffee does not set up disease with
all persons using it; on the other hand
it absolutely does create disease in
thousands and thousands of cases per-
fectly we'll authenticated and trace
able directly to coffee and nothing
else.
This statement may hurt the feel
ings of some coffee drinkers, but the
facts are exactly what they are.
Make inquiry of some Of your coffee
drinking friends, and you may be GER
tain Of ono thing, one-half of them,
yes, more than half, suffer from some
sort of fncipient or chronic disease.
If you want to prove it's the coffee, or
would prefer to prove it's not the
coffee in these cases, take coffee away
from these persons for from ten days
to a month; don't change the food in
any other way, but give them Postum
Food Coffee, and the proof of whether
coffee has been the trouble or not will
be placed before you in unmistakable
terms.
A young lady in the St. Mary's acad-
envy, Winnipeg, Can, says Zone, of
our teachers suffered long while
from indigestion. She was a coffee
drinker.; She became worse steadily
and finally was reduced to point
where the stomach did not retain any
food, then electricity was. tried, but
without avail. She, of course, grew
weak very fast and the doctor said
the case was practically incurable.
about that time was attracted to
statement in one of the papers re-
garding. the poisonous effect Of coffee
and the value Of Postum Food Coffee.
The statement was not extravagant,
but couched in terms that won my
confidence and aroused me to the be-
lief that 1t was true. persuaded our.
teacher to leave OF the morning cup
Of coffee altogether and use Postum
Food Coffee. s.. q. !.
"a change took place. She began.
TO get better. She has now regained
1 her strength and is able 10 eat al.
y most every kind Of food. and has taxi
4 en- her position as teacher again.
1 Name given By Postum Co, Battle
j Creek. Mich.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02

+ Judge w. D. Webb, now of Atch1son,
Kan, lived in Minneapolis at the time,
and the girls family employed him to
investigate *Dunbar's past. 1t didn't
take long to ascertain the facts. Dun.
bar was arrested at Leavenworth,
where he had been called to conduct
a revival, and Webb prosecuted the
bigamist and convicted him, his New
Bedford wife appearing against him.
Dunbar was sentenced to four years
in prison.
when Dunbar was a boy" says
Judge Webb, che worked in factory
in New: Bedford, living with his aged
mother. The boy worked till late at
night, and his mother always kept a
light in the window for him.
AT the age of II Dunbar decided to
go to sea, and shipped for three
years. cruise. His mother, however,
kept the light burning in the window
for him. She died before his return
home. Her last words were, Tell my
boy that will keep a light burning in
the window of heaven for him.; wait
ing for his coming.
when Dunbar returned home and
received his mothers dying message
he was deeply impressed, and shortly
thereafter repented of his sins, united
with a church, and began to study fol
the ministry. Soon he began to preach
and write religious songs. He wrote
There's Light in the Window fol
Thee in memory of his mothers ten
der love for him. kansas City (Mo.)
World.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
In The Secret Service

Eyes, danger is an ever-constant
business" said the old secret service
man. 1--WE know not at what hour
we may be called upon to face death
In a violent form. But we get used to
experiences of this nature, and learn
to keep a cool head on our shoulders
and to think quickly.
1T is strange" continued the vet
eran of the service, that secrets, how
ever carefully guarded, will sometimes
leak out. I remember on one occa-
sion | was in search of man wanted
Tor robbing the mails. l had been Sc
lected for the job because I was an
absolute stranger to the man and his
friends, and could freely mingle with
the latter without being recognized or
suspected.
within an hour after receiving my
orders l took a train out of Chicago
for Western city, from where l was
to take circuitous route to another
place, where l expected to pick up
some clues upon which to proceed.
But before I had travelled fifty
miles from Chicago I received a tele-
gram from my chief informing me
that the man wanted had just arrived
in certain small city in Iowa. A new
code, which we had but recently
adopted, was made use of by the
writer Of the message, and it seemed
impossible that any one on the outside
could know anything about my bust
ness.
$50 Immediately took another train
for the town mentioned. AS the train
was pulling into the station I took a
position on the platform of the rear
car, and before the train stopped
scanned the faces of all those at the
station, as I thought it possible my
man might be planning to take the
same train out of town and might slip
aboard without my seeing him.
while was thus engaged I heard
some one climb upon the platform be-
hind me and turning, had the pleasure
Of looking down the muzzle of a big
revolver and of recognizing the man
behind the gun as the man I was
seeking.
"'You don't want to get off here
he said. You want to go on
"'All right said I, I'll go on And
did. He stood guard over me until
the train had gained considerable
speed and then he dropped off, waving
his hand at ME as token of farewell.
"'Oh, I'll see you again. I yelled.
And he laughed
"As soon as possible 1 stopped the
train and got off with my gun in my
hand. He was not to be found. But
six months later, after weary chase
Of thousands Of miles, I caught him,
one fine morning, while he was dig
ging for gold on lonely Colorado
mountain"
The old secret service man laughed
heartily over the recollection.
'But the highest place I was ever
in,' he continued presently, was in
Cincinnati, good many years ago.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
Didn't Run Up at All.

O'OH snuI W aI ALT
On the last visit of Lieut.. Rich.
mond Pearson Hobson to Greensboro.
Ala, his native town, one of his old
time friends asked him if he was still
bothered with an excessive mail from
unknown persons. He answered that
he was, and that many people seemed
to regard him as general bureau
OF information, and put to him the
most outlandish questions,
4 One Of these questions came ia
him in a recent letter. It read: +
1 y INF. Hobson:= Can you tell me
how far the Mississippi river runs
up?" .5=s B.. B 5..s}. E II g
VI Lieut.. Hobson replied II y Il
u. Dear Sir: In answer to yours Of
recent date, | have the honor to say
that the Mississippi river doesn't run
up at ell. I 3S5. 81. 4
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-05-02
The Habit of Aco,Iisi+;on

The Habit Of Acquisition.
1T beats me-" said the philosopher,
chat people will keep piling up
money long after they have several
times as much as they'll ever be able
to use.'
Then the went out for a walk.
Passing book store, he saw half
dozen very cheap books, which, how
ever, he knew he hadn't time to read
and doubted very much if he ever
would have time to read. But they
were cheap, and he bought then and
sent them home to be added to his
library, which already contained sew
eral times as many books as he would
ever have time to read. -, = Z
Nevertheless, he continued to won
der at the senseless accumulation OF
money. = = = I: ~ >@%,= zs