Columbia courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1902-1905, 1903-11-27
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OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES NuAteNcTi IL kon8
to marry you.-Town Topics
Clerk-That back piazza is pretty
shaky. 1t may break down some
night. Proprietor-Musti 1t be rebuilti
Clerk-Oh, no; light 1t Uptown
Topics.
Say, mamma" queried little Mary
Ellen, whats n dead letter" ANY
letter that is given to your father to
mail, my dear" replied the wise moth
er.-Chicago News.
"Now," said the teacher. "can you
tell me anything about Hiawatha ?"
Yes" replied Henry; "it's the tune
that made Longfellow famoW."-Chi-
cago Record Herald.
An old Scotchwoman, when advised
by her minister to take snuff to keep
herself awake during the sermon, re-
piled: "Why dinna We put the snuff
in the sermon, mon"
Frank-I've got even with James at
last. Edward-How did you do lit
Frank gave his girl pair Of pretty
vases, and he will be ruined in keeping
them filed with flowers.
Mistress-Bridget don't you think
you can get along without 80 much
company I am sure no one else would
stand 1t. Bridget-Sure, ma'am. thot's
why Dim staying wild We.
"Mr. Nozzleton," she said, III you
try to hug and kiss me again 1 shall
call papa" "Where is your father"
he asked. Hes in the Yellowstone
Park."-Chicago Record-Herald.
smith-May 1 make 4 contidant of
you? Jones-Why, certainly. Smith
Well, I'm hard up and want ten
pounds. Jones-You can trust me; I
am as silent as the grave. have
heard nothing.-Pick-Me-Up.
Ncwly-made Bride - Mamma says
she does not think we will ever quar-
rel as she and papa do. Groom-Nev-
er, dearest. Newly-made Bride-No;
she says you will be much easier to
manage than papa was.-Tt-Bits.
Algy-Gwace has 4 hahwid father.
When awsked him for her hand I
said, Love for your daughter has
dwiven me hawf cwasy. Cholly-And
then deah boy7 Then the old bwute
said, Has, eh7 Well. who completed
the jobT"
The presence Of mind Of an impecu-
NOUS lover was illustrated recently at
bazaar, where there was a stall for
the sale of watch charms. "Oh,
George" said the lady, "buy me
charm" Sarah" answered he, you
have too many already"
Miss Romanz-Of course, you've
read that new love story Of his7 Mr..
Crabbe reviewer)-Yes; had to. Very
realistic, wasn't It? Miss Romanz-
oh, the idea! Why, the dialogue be-
tween the lovers was perfectly silly.
Mr.. Crabbe - Well?-Philadelph
PresA
Uncle-How do you like your Sum-
day school teacher? Tommy-Oh.
she's got good sense. She's smarter
than nom Is. Uncle-1ndeed? So you
believe in her, eh? Tommy-Surel
Her an me thinks alike. She says
Sunday school don't do me no good
Philadelphia Press.
Fritz, a German lad, and little Tom
were very fond of each other, although
neither could understand what the
other said. "Why, Tommy" said his
father, 'your playmate does not speak
English, does he?" NO." said Tommy,
but when bumblebee stung him yes
terday he cried In English, and l un-
derstood himW
"Your huband, madam" said the
chief of police, has been arrested on
the charge of arson" whats that
mean" demanded the woman. at
means that he is accused of starting
the fire at his place of business
that" Nonsense! I've been mar
ried to that man twenty years, and he
never would start the fire."
Mrs. Scrooge-I am writing to ask
the Browns to meet the JOneses here
at dinner, and to the Joneses to meet
the Browns. We owe them both an
invitation, you know. Mr.. Scrogge-
But I've heard they've just quarreled
and don't speak! Mrs. Scrooge-I
know. They'll refuse, and we needn't
give dinner party at all!-Tit-B
One day when little Elsie came
home from school her mother asked
her what she had learned that day.
Elsie replied, 81 learned to spell man."
"Tell me how you spell 1t, dear" said
mamma. "M-a-n, man." replied Elsie.
"And how do you spell boy?" you
spell 1t the same way, only with small
er letters" replied Elsie, after a mo-
ment's thought.
Scene-Platform of suburban sta