The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1903-09-03

,IEMBER 5, l9O3.
and in other places where sixty inches
of ii. o. q year is needed, the fall of
rain, or snow. or hail, or dew, or water
in any form, does not amount to so
much as would cool the proboscis of a
flea, or quench the thirst of bedbug.
Is this right? Is this just? Is this
wise? Not according to Hoyle, or any
other standard authority.
Then look at it in another way. Here
is ridge Of land, dried, fried, parched,
scorched, and shriveled under the mer-
ciless rays Of the sun. Your feet burn
as you walk over it, tho the soles of
your boots were as thick as the COM
bined bulls hides of Ajax's shield, OF
as impervious as the hide Of a pachy-
derm, or as tough as the cuticle of q
"blasted" plutocrat. A mile to the right
of you there is lake, and q mile to the
left of you there is swamp. The lake
has water to burn, and the swamp has
mud enough to supply all the great
political parties, including the Goo
Coos, through dozen political cam
palgns. Say now there's shower CON-
ing. You would naturally expect the
rain will fall on the dry ground, and
skip those places where there Ia too
much moisture already. But what
happens9 The parched ridge of land
gets no more rain than does the soggy
swamp, or the already too watery lake.
In fact, the water runs off the dry land
into the swamp and the lake, thus
going where it is not needed; adding
ito that which had too much"
And why does water always run
down hillP You say it does SO In ac-
cordance with the law of gravitation.
Well, what Of it? II you had had the
making Of the natural laws, wouldn't
you have made the water run down
hill along the right hand bank, and
up hill along the left hand bank Of q
river, SO that boats could float with
the stream both ways? And wouldn't
you have devised some scheme to allow
only the overplus Of water to escape
into the ocean, thus retaining a per-
manent depth Of water in our. riversp ?
Sorehead. old boy, you just bet you
would! You've got head on your
shoulders; you would have used q little
common sense in formulating laws to
govern your world!
Our natural laws are altogether too
general, too sweeping. They are no re-
pecters of persons. For instance: A
multimillionaire in q playful mood
drops a bag of gold containing 1890
double eagles from the window of the
9th story of his Office building. Ac-
cording to the law of grsyitation this
bag of gold, if not obstructed, will fall
in a direct line, and with sccelerating
speed, to the ground, and the unhappy
wight who happens to be in its way
as it falls, will never know what struck
him. Now, why should this be2 Would
it not be wiser and better to amend the
law of gravitation so as to read, "Bod-
les shall fall through space In a di-
rect line only when they will, by SO
falling, not collide with any living
creature, or thing of value; at all other
times bodies, when falling through
space, shall deviate from the direct line
to the right, or the left, or the front,
or the back of living creature, or
thing Of value, thus making collision
impossible" The poor man especially
needs some such measure of protection.
He may be poor, and even worthless;
but that's no argument for letting bags
of gold drop on his head unexpectedly.
And the number of our millionaires is
growing every year; and some of them
are SO reckless that it is not at all un-
fair to assume they would drop a bag
of gold on some poor fellows head
just to see him squirm.
Not only the law of gravitation. but
likewise the laws governing the veloci-
ty of sound and light need doctoring.
Pay attention to this blunder: Light
travels faster than sound, and If some
murderous villain should take whim
to take shot at! you from q distance
of, say, half mile-using q modern
firearm and smokeless powder-and
supposing his aim be true land he
aimed at your heart or solar plexus)
you would be dead about n OF q second
before you would hear the report of
the gun. 10 show that this statement
is approximately correct it is only nec-