The Indianapolis journal., 1903-08-30

OF THE
I Q w N

The head waiter was guilty of a heinous
crime. There was no denying it, no extern
uation possible. He wore that ridiculous,
out-of-place livery of evening dress with
far more distinction than many of his
guests, and. miracle of miracles, the coat
fitted perfectly his wide shoulders and
abundant sides. Suave, smiling, alert, dig
niied, he was very pearl of head walters,
but the glory of his costume was marred
its singularly good set ruined by the glar-
ing, plated watch chain and charm dangling
from waistcoat pocket over his stupendous
stomach. 1t was little thing, but it was
the difference between the Congo and the
Thames, the white and the black Con-
stant contact with chainIeSS waiStcoatS
should have counted for something i'm his
years of head waitership. but it had not.
He was an agreeable, amiabe chap for all
of that, relaxing his Jove-like dignity TO
cheer the lonely guest. little conversa-
tional tap and the dam of his silence was
broken.
Yes, 1 have my troubles. sir" he said.
Walters are not the easiest lot to man
age. Usually we have wel-trained. care
full men who make few mistakes, learn each
regular guests peculiar likes and dislikes
and generally are worth their salt Occa-
sionally, though, one of them makes a
bad break, and makes a guest angry and
himself ridiculous. The other day a man
his finger over the dinner card rapidly,
glanced up at the waiter and said Some
Roquefort cheese A few minutes later the
waiter returned balancing tray which
were halves of cantelOupe sliced and iced.
| had caught the order. but / could not
get TO the table quick enough to undo the
blunder. What in thunder did you think
l ordered? said the guest. losing his tenn
per at once. as many do when things do not
go right with their dinners. Why, cante-
loupe. sah., canteloupe. Didn't you say
Rocky Ford, sah?' -
Yes, lots Of funny things happen every
now and then. but guests don't like to
have walters grinning when they make
breaks themselves. They Ike to have a
mild joke on the waiter, but they come
GOvJI hard if the waiter so much as wrinkles
his face when they get caught up The
other day three people came in and took
that table in the corner. A beautiful
young girl. severe looking. thil old wom-
an. religious in every line of her face, and Il
rather sporty looking handsome young fell
low made up the party. Dinner was or
dcle6 and they talked until the soup came
the girl and the man brightly enough but
apparently very much in awe OF the old
lady. The waiter who took their order
vas tall. awkward lad, always stepping
on his own feet or tripping himself, or
breaking a dish, or doing some other thing
room He came i'm carrying I large soup
tureen. Anxious 10 please ana with an
eye to a liberal tip. he gor in too big a
hurry.
'sThe luckless fellow lost his grip on the
| tureen just as he passing il over the
young mans shoulder TO the table IT fel
| with a clatter TO the tiled floor, a stream
| of hot, greasy soup poured over the young
mans shoulder and shirtbosoni. Coco
Cod he cried then stopped short as he
| caught the uplift of the old womans eye.
brows and her shocked expression. His
| face became composed in twinkle III,
| folded his hands and went on in a low, sweet
| tone,-'make US truly thankful for these
| our many blessings
IT retired hastily. III i had stayed
would have forgot my place and laughed
The waiter was too scared TO take IL al
| in. The girl did and she nearly hurt her
/ self laughing behind her hands / thinl
| the old dragon had a suspicion something
/ was wrong. because she looked at tn,
young fellow pretty fiercely at first. Hs
| stood pat, though. never cracked a smile
/ and got away with his little game. H'
| must have wanted the girl pretty bad
| guess He was winner though. 1 never
/ saw such q cool head, such self-possession
| no not in twenty years OF this business"
but of all the funny folks that come IN
| here continued the head waiter. fiickins
! a ny with the grace and accuracy of lont
practice of the shining sugar bowl. ''of al