The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1903-03-07
TIE Batting
Of Williams
WILLIAMS was one of those real
wv funny jokers. The word "was'

wv funny jokers. The word "was'
in this connection is used advisedly.
because he is not now. Quiet little
Stoner worked the cure. The way of it
was this:
Williams, like all professional jok-
ers, did not have a great variety OF
tricks. Those he had were not all
original. They were probably old when
he first heard them, but that never
bothered him in the least. He would
take hold of them as though they were
his own creation, and then he would
work them on every friend he had. OF
course Williams jokes were poor
things. The tricks of professional
joker usually are, and as result Will
liams' coterie of friends rapidly dimin-
ished until he finally had but few left.
These still chung to Williams because
apart from his alleged funny tricks
they decided that he was not such a
bad fellow; in fact, that when he was
not thinking up some practical joke,
he was as good sort as anybody would
want TO know.
The lonesome few who still claimed
Williams as friend decided at an in
formal meeting one night that some
thing had to be done to reform Will
liams or else they would have to say
farewell to him as friend.
81 like Williams" said Stocky Wood
bridge. "That is, / would like him ii
he would only cut out his monkey
tricks. But if he doesn't, then l am
going to cut him out as friend.
won't stand for his jokes any more. He
carries things about 200 miles too far.
can nenjoy joke as much as anyone
even if il is on myself. You know that
is true, or / would not still be friend
of Williams after he has played some
SO pretty rough jokes on me. But lass
night, you know, / was to call on Miss
Keller over on the avenue. just be-
fore | reached there somebody, which
of course / know was Williams, called
up on the telephone and said: This is
the emergency hospital Ayoung man
has Just been brought in here who
tried to bump a street car on the
track. He seems unable to give his
name OF talk coherently, but has con-
tinually given this telephone number,
which we are calling up in the hopes OF
discovering the unfortunate mans
identify Well, just as arrived at Miss
Refers house l met her and the whole
family hurrying down the steps IN
great excitement on their way to the
hospital. Now, that's drawing the long
bow too far. I'm done"
civilians is especially fond" said
little briggs, "of that trick OF invent
ing conversation in street car. !
don't know how many people he has
worked it on. / know you have all
been sufferers. used to think 1t was
funny, but, great shakes, he mas
worked it to death. You know how ne
does. He is riding in street cal
that is crowded full Of people, some
maybe, that you know. You are talk
ing along on general subjects, and per
haps you will say to him in low tone
Il don't believe that / will go to TIM
theater tonight, after ALL
"Tbat is Williams chance. he viii
Immediately raise his great brass
bazoo of a voice, and looking at yo'
intently say in tone of frozen hor
ror: And you say you struck thatpoo
riri in the face and drove her out t.
perish in the terrible storm Thei
of course everybody in the car turns
around and glares at you, and all TIT
old ladies murmur monster and thu
men say brute Then of course yo'
get red and wriggle and whisper t.
Williams: o, say, that's bit rough
try and be decent And then William
in terrible voice will say: That's n
excuse. Suppose your wife didn't hav'
dinner ready just as you came home
Is that reason for beating her will
a chair? Well, the passengers on tn
car are just about ready to mob you
and you beg Williams again to hush
and he goes on and says: What, yo1
saw you threw the hat rack at you
wife as she went down the stairs. Yol
8 may think you did a brave thing, bu
| say You were a coward Then til
other passengers commence to sho,
symptoms of hanging you to lam
post, and you have to get up and escap
from the car, followed by Kisses an
groans, while all the passengers reac