davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21
Linguistic Railway Employees.

The administration of the Swedish
state railways has ordered that all the
passenger guards be taught English and
German at the expense of the state, this
being one of the several methods adopted
to attract tourists to Scandinavia.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

They equal those
that have been cost
ing yon from $40
to $500. The ilti-
mense sale of w. l..
Douglas shoes proves
their superiority over
all other makes.
Sold by retail shoe
dealers everywhere.
Look for name and
price on bottom.
That Douglas uses Cor
ona Colt proves there is
value In Douglas shoes.
Corona is the highest
grade at.Leather made
Fast Color EUelefs used.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

In the northern provinces of Italy
the illiteracy is not SO great as in the
southern, from which nearly all the immi-
giants come In Piedmont the illiteracy
is less than in Pennsylvania.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21
All Mothers Are Interested.

In another column of this paper will
be found the advertisement of the Phoe-
nix Chair company, Sheboygan, Wis, in
which are set forth the merits Of the
Baby Walking Chair" which will be OF
interest to all mothers.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21
Queer Uses of English.

Nc man living, perhaps, can pronounce
the English language Alright at al times
and in all places. For correctness de-
ponds largely on time and place, and
sometimes to be right you must be
wrong. AS soon as you step on ship
board and sail, the horizon, being clear
and definite, sheds the need for long
81 and at sea it rhymes with 'orison."
In the army route is always called a
"rowte," being the only kind of rout the
English army acknowledges. Moreover
the cavalry, by long-standing tradition
calls horse an "'orse," and the order
is "stand to 'orses." The conscientious
officer must find it little difficult to re-
cover the aspirate when he exchanges
the camp for the drawing room.-Lon-
don Daily Chronicle.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21
An Autumn Tow.

These are the days when the tired man
Will carry round his gun
That weighs about a ton
And call it fun
To wade through knee-deep muck,
Beneath a bToiling sun,
And then just miss his duck.
New York Times
There's one thing that / do admire
about our baseball club said young
Mrs. Torkins, cheerily.
What's that" asked her husband.
You know exactly what it is going
to do. There isn't any danger of your
losing money betting on it."-Washing-
ton Star.
Yes, l still have the first dollar I ever
made said the gray-haired passenger.
''The idea" exclaimed the travelling
acquaintance. "And how did you keep
it so long?''
lit was very imperfect, being my first
and I'd have had trouble in passing it,
Perth On. b. News.
Tess--So you're really engaged to Mr..
Slimm?
Jess-Oh, yes; he schemed and planned
SO that he finally won me.
Tess-Yes? He's pretty sharp, isn't he.
Jess-EXtremely SO; but he puts one Of
the parlor sofa cushions on his knees and
[ don't mind Philadelphia Press
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Kilkenny castle is one Of the oldest
inhabited houses in the world, many Of
the rooms being much as they were 800
years ago.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21
Insanity in California.

The number of insane in California in
1860 was one to 1000 and in 1870 one
to 500 At present the registered insane
number one to 260 Of the general popu-
latiOu
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

All wise families will keep Bruder's
Celebrated Cough Syrup on hand this
winter See ad in this issue.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21
FACTS AND FANCIES.


Old Gentleman-Wa alter, this meat is
like leather! Yes, sir. Saddle Of NUT
ton, sir!'-Punch
She-I can't see why l ever eloped
with you. He-I can. I was the first
fool that ever asked you to elope.
"That sounds like the charity bawl,'
said the nurse, as the babies in the or
phan asylum began to yell.-Princeton
Tiger.
Doctor should say you have about
three months to live.
Patient-Make it longer, doctor; [ can
never pay your bill in that time.-Life.
"Miss Elderly came from a very old
family, didn't she?"
'Weli, She looks it.''-Town Topics.
Manager-There is a whole lot of liter
airy merit to this play of yours.
Playwright (eagerlyl-HOW much?
Manager-Oh, enough to kill it.-Town
Topics.
Grace--Do you admit that a woman is
the best judge of another womans char
acter?
better executioner-Smart Set
Patience-I see the latest creation Of
the milliners' fancy is the Lobster hat.
Patrice-And I suppose it is dream
Yes, and you know what a lobster
dream is!'-Yonkers Statesman.
$50 you have married the only girl in
the world?''
YES" replied Mr.. N. Wed. 81 want
ed to keep all the rest of the fellows out
Of trouble. Nashville American.
Sunday School Teacher-Now, Johnny,
why did the children of Israel sigh for
the flesh pots of Egypt?
Johnny = Maybe Moses gave them
breakfast food.-New York Tribune.
Tom-You called on Miss Milyun last
night, didn't you? Dick-Yes "Spent
the evening indulging in small talk er?
well, her talk was entirely too small.
She said No '-Philadelphia Press.
Husbapd-I wish I knew where could
find buried treasure.
Whichever mind, dear, I'm your
treasure.
Husband-Yes, but you are not buried
A Neat Evasion
A Turk by the name Of Haroun
- Ate whisky by. means of a spoon.
To one who asked why,
This Turk made reply:
ITO drink is forbidden, you loonr'
New Orleans Times Democrat
Red Gulch Joe-Did you say that thar
fight between Scarfaced Sam and Lasso
Bill WIZ q draw?
Birthstone Ike-Yes; an, unforchinitly
fer Sam, Lasso Bill drawed u'st-Balti-
more American.
Willie Borem--L see that the govern
men that planted $4,000, 900 Holsters on
the shores Of Massachusetts. Miss Jab-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

MRS. WINSLOW'S SOOTHING SYRUP for
Children teething; softens the gums, reduces in
Illumination, alays pain, cures wind collie. 25
cents bottle.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

A church recently dedicated in ST.
Paul was erected at cost of $1,000
raised by 10000 contributions of 70 cents
aooh
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

You can do your dyelng in half an
hour with PUTNAM FADELESS
DYES.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Only nine men have been hanged in
in the last five years, although
there have been 1913 murders.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

The apple crop in the United States
and Canada will be good
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

National hank notes are one-sixth O
the money in circulation.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

She-I can't see why l ever eloped
with you. He-I can. [ was the first
fool that ever asked you to elope.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

the shores Of Massachusetts, Miss Jab-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Old Gentleman-Waiter, this meat is
like leather! Eyes, sir. Saddle of NUT
ton, sir!'-Punch.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

We use Piso's Cure for Consumption in
preference to any other cough medicine
Mrs. S. e: Borden, 442 street. Wash
in gton, D. c., May 25, 1901
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

''That sounds like the charity bawl,
said the nurse, as the babies in the or
phan asylum began to yell.-Princetol
Tiger
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

benz (wearily)-Oh, dear and 1 find
just one almost enough to drive me in
sane!-San Francisco Bulletin.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Two million of Londons inhabitants
never go to church.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Red Gulch Joe-Did you say that thar
fight between Scarfaced Sam and Lasso
Bill WIZ q draw?
Birthstone Ike-Yes; an, unforchinitly
fer Sam, Lasso Bill drawed u'st-Balti-
more American.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

He-Where are you going, dear?
She-rm going shopping.
'But you haven't got i cent in your
pockets?"
''Then I'll have more room to hold the
samples "-Yonkers Statesman.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Mrs. Greene-One does not like to be
ignored. l wore a brand new gown at
the reception last night, and 1 don't be-
lieve a soul noticed me.
Mrs Gray-There's where you made
mistake. Now, l wore my old black silk
that has been turned twice, and every
body saw me fast enough.-Boston Tran
script.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21
A Neat EyaSi

A Turk by the name Of Haroun
Ate whisky by means of a spoon.
To one who asked why,
This Turk made reply:
ITO drink is forbidden, you Ioonr'
New Orleans Times Democrat,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Doctor should say you have about
three months to live.
Patient-Make it longer, doctor; can
never pay your bill in that time.-Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Wolfe-I suppose you keep a watch on
the stock Quotations, to see which are
going up and which coming down?
Lambe-No; I don't have to. The
ones I have always go down and the ones
Transcript.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Critic-Marvelous drama of yours, sir.
There's a scene in that play that Shakes
peare himself could not have written.
Authenticated, you are too fattering.
Critic--I was referring to that railway
smash in the third act.-Tit-BitS.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

'Miss Elderly came from very ole
family, didn't she?''
'Oh, yes
''Weli, she looks it"-Town Topics.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21
One Advantage of the Fall Style.

The new poke bonnet that she wears
May not, in fact, adorn 'er,
But quite awhile ere she appears
1t gives us warning of the dear'S
Approach around the corner.
New York Herald.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

enxa, Whooping Cough, Bronchitis and Asthma.
A certain cure for Consumption In first stages.
and . sure relief In advanced stages. Use at once
You will see the excellent effect after taking tho
first dose. Sold by dealers everywhere Lazee
bottles 2B cents and 80 centA
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Husband-I wish I knew where I could
find a buried treasure.
Whichever mind, dear, I'm your
treasure.
Husband-Yes, but you are not buried.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21
w. /. DOUGLAS
So. SO & s. SHOES T SsISN

You can save from $50 to SIS yearly by q.
wearing W. L. Douglas $3.50 or So shoes.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Manager-There is a whole lot of liter.
airy merit to this play of yours.
Playwright (eagerlyl-How much?
Manage-Oh, enough to kill it.-Town
Topics.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Tom-You called on Miss Milyun last
night, didn't you? Dick-Yes. "Spent
the evening indulging in small talk er?''
"Well, her talk was entirely too small.
She said No philadelphia Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Sunday School Teacher-Now, Johnny,
why did the children of Israel sigh for
the flesh pots Of Egypt?
Johnny = Maybe Moses gave them
breakfast food.-New York Tribune.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-21

Grace--Do you admit that woman is
the best judge of another woman's char
acter?
Gwendolyn-Yes, a good judge, but a
better eXecutiOner-Smart Set
The National tribune., 1903-07-09
A SPLENDID SHOWING.

Commissioner Ware closes his first year
Of administration Of the Pension Bureau
with the most creditable showing of 132, :
500 claims allowed, or 1905 more than
last year and a far greater number of
allowances than In any year in the past
10 years. This has involved incompara-
bly, greater work than has been done in
the Bureau since Gen. Raum's admins
tration, because it has required much
harder labor in examination. 1t was COM
paratively plain sailing under Gen. Raum's
administration. but number of compE-
Gated cases were left over, and these in
volved patient and continued examination.
The number of reflections was 113, ,720,
or about 5000 less than under the last
mainly confined to those of applications
for increases. In spite of the great ad-
vance in the number of allowances. the
total of the pension roll is still under the
one million mark, owing to the great in
crease in mortality. The loss to the pen
sion roll during the year will probably
come close to 10000. Commissioner Ware
has succeeded in getting more good work
out of the clerical force of the Pension
Bureau than any his predecessors, and
this without over-work, but by proper
management and the exercise of unusual
executive ability.
The National tribune., 1903-07-09
THE IOWA DEMOCRATS.

The reorganizers of the Democratic
party feel very much encouraged at the
result of the Democratic State Conven-
ton Of Iowa. While there is no hope of
success for their ticket, yet the action Of
the Convention is a keynote for other con-
yentions which will follow. The nominee
for Governor, while nominally a Bryan
man, is entirely satisfactory to the gold
wing of the party, and plank was put
in denouncing imperialism to satisfy the
'Bryanites." There was a return to the
old demand for tariff for revenue only"
The resolutions reaflirming the financial
planks of Chicago and Kansas City were
rejected by two-thirds vote, and the
money question was dismissed by insist
ing that 1.-The integrity of the money of
the Nation be guarded with jealous care,
and demanding that it shall be sufficient in
volume to meet the business needs of the
country, and that it shall be safeguarded
by careful legislation, so as to prevent the
gamblers of Wall Street from cornering
the money market, thus inflicting untold
injury upon the smaller business men, the
farmers and laborers of the land" The
rest of the platform was the usual bum
connie about curbing the trusts and the
regulation of railway charges which are
customary in the platforms of all parties.
The National tribune., 1903-07-09
THE GERMAN SOCIALIST PROGRAM.

The German Socialists have been max
ing some very astonishing and gratifying
moderations in their propaganda within
the last few years, and the program which
they have put out this year is so near
American ideas that it can be accepted
with few reservations. 1t is:
81. One vote for every adult man and
woman, a holiday to be election day, pay
ment of members.
so. The Government to be responsible
to Parliament, local self government, refer
endum.
SO. Introduction of the militia system.
II. Freedom of speech and freedom of
the press.
''5. Equality of man aud woman before
the law.
sc. Disestablishment of the churches.
81. UndenominatiOnal schools with COM
pulsory attendance and Gratuitous tuition.
"S. Gratuitousness of legal proceeding
so. GratuitouS medical attendance and
burial.
40. Progressive income tax and success
sion duty"
The most of this is already in actual
practice in this country. Outside of the
South We have vote under proper re-
is not making the progress that was for
many years hoped for, and it will do no
harm TO increase agitation in that direc-
ton. There would be strong objections
among the working men themselves toward
making election day holiday. AS to the
payment of members of the Legislature
and Congress we have always had that.
AS to the second number on the pro-
gram, our Government is responsible to
Congress, and we have local self govern
ment. The referendum is being agitated
in this country, but there hardly seems any
necessity where Congress and the Legis-
latures are so quickly responsive to the
wishes of the community as in our country
AS to the third clause, we have militia
system here and it should be greatly ex-
tended. 1t is rather astonishing to have
the German Socialists advocating this, as
the attitude of the Labor Unions in this
country has been rather antagonistic 70
the militia system.
AS to the 4th, 5th, and 9th clauses, we
have them in their entirety in this country.
compulsory attendance upon the schools.
This is something that should come in the
near future.
As to the Sth and 9th clauses, there
would be great deal of opposition to hav-
ing legal proceedings gratuitCus. since that
would encourage litigation, a thing not to
be desired. Gratuitous medical attend
ance and burial would strike an American
as very strange request, though we al
ready have free medical attendance and
burial for paupcrs.
As to the 10th clause, progressive in
come tax is something for very earnest dis
cussiOn. Succession duties are now being
tried by New York and possibly some
other States, and found to work well.
The National tribune., 1903-07-09

Seeadyi Front. Prepare TO open
r-a-n-k-si To the r-e-a-r in Open Or
d-e-ri MARCHw
The tsoa struck up "Ain't Glad to
Get Out Of the Wilderness?" while the
Adjutant, the very personification of
severe soldierly dignity, stalked down the
front line, and back up through. the open
ranks, sternly scrutinizing every mans
well-blacked brogans, polished buttons,
clean shirt and spotless uniform.
You've all done very WELL" he an
nounced when he came back to his posi-
tion in the front and center. "But not
quite as we'll as some Of you might have
done. Co. Q is the cleanest company in
the regiment. I shall select the Orderly
from Co. O."
Co. Q wanted to shout in appreciation
of this high compliment, but no one dared
such an infraction Of military discipline
in the presence Of tho Adjutant, rigged
out as he was.
The inspection was dismissed, and the
other companies marched down to Co. Q
to witness the process of selecting the Or
derly. Co. Q, standing stiff IN line, was in
a futter of excitement as to whom should
receive the coveted distinction. The Adiu-
tant marched up and down in front of the
company. and between its ranks, with fer
retlike glances, to detect the least signs
of slovenliness. Each man had taken such
unusual pains with himself that it was
hard to make q choice.
The Adjutant finally picked out Monty
Scruggs, Harry Joslyn, Alf Russell, Gid
Mackall, and six others, and ordered them
one pace in front of the company.
He carefully scrutinized them, while the
excitement in company grew. One man
The National tribune., 1903-07-09

IT SEEMS that the action of the Jewish
Rabbis at Detroit was not accurately re-
ported. The question before them was
whether the Gentle Sunday could be eel
ebrated as the Jewish Sabbath without
producing schism. The convention de-
clined to pass on the question, as it was
too radical and fundamental for what it
conceived its powers. What was of more
Importance was that a movement was
started to bring about 4 unification of all
the Jews in the country, with National
organization which would place those of
that faith in a similar position to the Pres
byterians, Methodsts, Episcopaliaas and
Roman Catholics. Many advantages would
follow from having National organization
OF all the Jews in the United States, with
a SanhedTim, or similar body, with power
to settle questions rising out of the adjust
nent of their religion to progressive civil
ization. There is at present no body in
Che world which is authorized to speak for
the Jews as a whole, and pronounce de-
cisions on questions which must neces-
sarily come up from time to time.
The National tribune., 1903-07-09

the pressure that he gave Maria's hand,
which he held in his, told her quite plainly
that he thought that the prettiest thing on
earth just at that time was the girl at
his side.
In an upper chamber Of the quaint old
house. Annabel, Mrs. Klegg, Elephant and
Lily Jane were unitedly engaged in array
ing Maria for the wedding. Will had been
able to eat his breakfast, and was con-
sidered by the Surgeon to be equal to the
occasion, so the final arrangements for
the wedding were put in motion at once,
the men falling to with a will to finish the
decoration of the "Cathedml," the ele-
ments proving so kind that an outdoor
marriage, which might be witnessed by a
whole division Of troops, was feasible.
What transformations a thousand or
more such willing workers as the soldiers
of 1865 could accomplish in few hours,
and in this instance nature had been most
kind in furnishing from her treasure house
the most beautiful of her stores.
The great columnar trunks of the live
oaks were wreathed with ropes of fra
grant magnolias, jasmin and wild aZaleas,
garlands hung from the limbs and fes-
The National tribune., 1903-07-09
PENSIONS FOR THE WIDOWS.

One of the best features of the service
pension bill is the provision that it makes
for the widows of veterans who have died
and who shall die hereafter. This is a
matter of the most intense solcitude to
every veteran as he approaches the end of
his service on earth. He is tortured by
| thoughts of what is to become of the faith
full woman who has been his companion
| so long. shared his joys and sorrows, borne
his children. and in declining years has
been his faithful, patient companion and
| nurse.
Little able as he has been to battle with
the world and gain livelihood, she is in
finitely less so. and the thought of her
being left to the cold charities of relatives
or tile refuge of the poorhouse is unbear-
able to him. Under the pension laws as
administered, the poor widow has been
larassed in a way that has aroused the in
dignation of the veterans
Under Evans and Lochren especially,
the widow was treated as if she were an
INSCRIPTIONS adventures, whom it was
necessary to foil at any cost. A large
portion of Evans's fulminations We're
against the widows in unmeasured terms
for almost everything of which bad wo-
man could be guilty, and his spies were
necessarily around gathering up neighbor-
hood gossip, seeking eagerly for whatever
was prejudicial to her character.
Pensions were denied widows on the
slightest pretext. 1t required strenuous
efforts for years by the whole Grand Army
of the Republic to get pension for wild
ows whom the Pension Bureau thought
had an income from any source of $96 a
year or over.
We propose in the service pension bill
that every widow of a soldier who has
died or who shall die shall receive pen
sion of SO per month, dated from the
time of her application. This must be
without any ifs or "ands," and without
any pettifogging over contingent interests
which she may have in property, or any
of the pretexts which have been used
for denying pensions to widows. All that
will be necessary will be for the widow
to prove that she was lawfully married
to the soldier, that she lived with him
as his wife, and that he is now dead. We
shall have no Special Agents harrying
these poor old women with the insulting
questions which were asked under the
Evans and Lochren administrations, and
the widows right to an allowance will be
as certain and indefeasible as her late
husbands.
A provision of this kind will comfort the
dying hours of many thousands of we'll
deserving veterans, who are now harassed
on their deathbeds by anxiety as to the
leave behind.