Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-08-31
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Eyes, but when l see 1t comm, OATS
de day don't feel sociable."-Atlanta
Constitution.
A small boy In the juvenile grammar
class, being told to compare the adj
jective little" answered.: Little,
small, nothing at ALL"
He-Look, look! think that man
out in the breakers is drowning! She
oh, heavens! and l have left my
camera at home!-Judge.
WOman-How much for children's
pictures? Photographer-Ten shillings
dozen, madam. Woman-Why-er-
yes; but I've got only nine.
Mrs. Chic-Your sister Is not going
with you to Monterey? Miss Au Fait
No. Papa said he couldn't afford to
marry off both of us this year. Eek.
Estelle-Ah! His proposal was just
like dream. Agnes-Well, you ought
to know, dear, you've been dreaming
Of that proposal for years.-Town and
Country.
Jealous: "Why did Gayboy's hand
some stenographer leave him so sud-
denly:' He says she found a num-
Der Of letters from his wife in his
desk. Town Topics.
Willie on literature: "That," said
Willie, as he launched heavy volume
at his little brothers head, ''is the
coming book. It's bound to make a
hit. columbia Jester.
Reporter dn the Mastadonastoria)-
Is it true, Mr. Goldwaller, that you
have bought this hotel? lnnumerabil-
lionaire-No. sir 1t is not necessary;
| can afford to he Il guest.-Puck.
Frank-I've got even with Jim at
last. Ned-IIow did you do it? Frank
i gave his girl Il pair of pretty vases
and he will go broke keeping them
filled with flowers. Gazette.
Got life customer: You haven't
charged me nearly as much for half
sOlng these shoes as | expected" NO,
ma'am. We charge according to tina
size Of the shoe"-ChicagO Tribune.
Hes great practical joker" Il
suspected as much" HAS he been
playing joke on your mo; |
played one on him yesterday, and it
made him mad clear through. "-Phil-
adelphia Press.
Miss NeXdor-This is pretty time
of night for that Dasher girl to be
playing the piano. Miss Also-Oh.
she's no respecter Of time. You can
tell that from the way she's playing
Baltimore American.
IF you find it impossible to keep
open your line of retreat" said the
instructor in the military school,
what ought you to do?" open up a
line of advance" was the prompt re-
y."-ChicagoePost.
"He's citizen of Illinois, isn't hep
NO, he can't be-" "Why, he gave me
that IMPRESSION" "You must have
misunderstood him." "He told me he
lived Just outside the limits of Chi
cago."-Public Ledger.
docs it cost much to live in the
city:" asked the rural youth. about
the same as 1t costs to live in the
country" replied the village sage. but
it costs like fury to keep up appear
ces."-Chicago News.
80 they named a cigar after you?'
Yes" answered the sporting man In
dubious tone. "Quite compliment
Il thought so till | smoked one of
the cigars. then l concluded that II
was libel Star.
You could call him a captain Of in
dustry, couldn't you?" You could
but you wouldn't do 1t If you Were
wise-at least not to his face. He
thinks he's at least a colonel of in
dustry. "-Chicago Evening Post.
Heidi you notice that woman who
Just passed? She-What, the one witt
the dyed hair and false teeth, anG
nasty ready-made clothes on, all tied
up with ribbons and things? No,
didn't notice her PARTICULARLY
Have you any request to make"
asked the sheriff of the erstwhile socie
ty man who was to be hanged on thu
morrow YES, one" replied Handsome
Harry; 'let me tie the moose myself
| never yet wore a ready-made tie. y
EX.
A roll of bills stopped a bullet which
struck Chicago man in the breast
thus saving his life. Yet there arr
reckless people who will go right aheaC
day after day without roll of bills
on their persons.-Kansas City Jour
nal
! What l want" said the coy mait
of more or less uncertain years, III
hat that will suit my complexion.
oh" exclaimed the mlliner. Will
sudden inspirations; 81 have a hand
painted hat in the window that In
sure will be just what you want. -
Chattanooga News.
4 certain gentleman was DOMINIC hi
outfit one day, preparatory to takn!
a horseback ride into the country
After while it occurred to him tina
his riding boots had been left in an
other part of the house, and he accord
ingly sent his servant young Irish
man, to get them, remarking at tn
time that there We're two pairs to
gether in the closet and he should b
| s,,ra 70 oat motaS In Il few m inn q