The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-01-23

- FROM ----
ANYW HERE

Rev. DR.. Swallow, late prohibition
candidate for several Offices, and not
long since tried for s%landering the late
President Mckinley. is a bit Of a joker
In his way. He tells a story about the
nom-de-plume Cath" used by George
Alfred Townsend.
VIVA does that name mean?' a
young lady parishioner asked Of DR..
Swallow.
"The letters are the authors initials,
G. A. Townsend" answered the clergy
man.
But what does the h stand for?''
persisted the lady.
That's where he's going to when he
dies" said DR.. Swallow.
The lady was Mortified, and asked
timidly, Is he really such a bad man
as all that?"
Certainly not. You misapprehend
me-" answered DR.. Swallow. THE HI
stands for heaven"
Representative Kyle never neglects
an opportunity to give a sly slap 10
! Ohio. He relates this incident, which
he AYERS occurred in Pickaway county.
There is in the country a certain
crossroads, where a patient teacher
struggles daily with the development of
the young idea. One morning she was
giving the school a lesson in geography.
What is a cataract?' she asked.
There was an absolute silence in re-
Spouse and she explained the meaning
of the word.
What is a cape?'
This was better. One Of the children
knew it was a point Of and jutting out
into the water
What is q strait?'
over IN a corner a hand went up.
I know, teacher said a small boy.
"'Well, what is it?'
lit beats three of a kind was the
triumphant answer"
Senator Mason Is the possessor of a
fine voice. He exercises it frequently
when at his home by singing melodies
that strike his fancy. The other day
cal abilities. At least, he thought 1t
was a compliment until it was ex-
planned to him.
II was out at my summer home" he
said, "and as usual I went around sing
ing. One day my daughter came tc
me.
Father she said, Mrs. x. thinks
you have a splendid voice.
II was quite tiattered.
What makes you think SOP I asked
Oh, n told me tile other day that
i you sang heavenly
well, for a mlnlte l wanted'to send
for Mrs. x. and ask her if she wanted
any passes. Then my fin
ished the compliment.
"'She didn't say it was h%eavenly, but
she said the same thing. She said ii
was u~nearthly.'"
Manager John r. Stetson, although
an excellent business man, was moi
well versed in dramatic literature. o.
one occasion he financed a revival OF
Macbeth" in one of his theaters and
paid, as usual, very little attention tc
the mere matter of the play, SO Iona as
the manne was all right. He went in
through the stage door in a bad humo1
one evening and took a look at the per-
Torrance from the wings during the
third scene of the first act. Then, turn
ing angrily to one Of the stage hands
he asked:
why are those women sweepias
there when the curtain is up? The
stage manager must be crazy!" Then
yelling at the female figures on the
stage: Hey! Get off, there! Get off,
why, Mr.. Seetson," said the stage
manager, running up, they are the
witches!-part of the play, you know!'
Don't that kind Of play. VIII
wrote it?"
Shakespeare, MI. Stetson," wer
the aWed stage manager.
well, when he comes round here
again tell him we're through with him
pay him his royalties and let him go!'
L ra-.I-.-HEr