Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-01-10
A MAN WITH GALL.

"The galliest man in the western hemis-
phere," said a Washingtonian, who hes
settled down, lived in this town until
about ten years ago. His first name was
Joe. The rest OF his name doesn't matter,
because hes in the advertising business
somewhere out west low, and / understand
that his spirit has become chastened. At
the time he was around the District Of Col
umbia ne was a jewelry auctioneer. He
was a huge man and a swell locker, and
be always kept himself primped UP to the
times whether he was in funds or up against
it. He was a great believer in 4Ae 'front.'
and ne was the originator Of that classic
phrase, You can Keep a squirrel on the
ground. He not only originated the phrase,
I but he proved it. lie wasn't afraid Of any
body or anything, and &c q take a chance
on any old taing. scme Of the propositions
that he got away VITA we're almost beyond
belief.
"One afternoon ABOUT a dozen winters
age, walle standing At TIE corner Of the
avenue and tourtesgsa street with a bunch
Of pals, ne bet them that he could knock
the hat of the head Of any big man passing
by that they'd point cut u him ana not get
into a fight over il. The gang took nm.
and they waited unta a giant calne swing
ING IN their drectIcn. lie was a we'll
dressed MAI with tae proportions OF q
longshoreman. Inis man 81 gall that I'm
telling you about deliberately tell is sep
behind the giant and Knocked AIS LAT oil
trora the rear. Ihe astonisned pedestrian,
before STOPPING TO pick up as derby, wAeeied
about fnriously, ana Wneu ne saw TINS Joe
man, swaddlea up III q fur coat tnat reached
TO his Aeels and wearing q plug nat, con-
fronting aIm and laagAing amuseGiy be
was speeelless. de a4anht know W4at to
make OF It, but he vas mad, all tie same,
and lie pulled ais rlg4t back for a waliop.
'Tusn, there, eAJm, oily remarked the
man OF gal, holding MS hand up depsecat-
lngly. NIX the red-headedness. Those
swaybacss over there peIking MS thumb in
the direction u MS bunch, laid me ) TO /
that coU.an get away with it without a
r~ough-house. nere's your deer, picking
the hat Up IRON where it rested on the
cur. Come On anu nave one
me BIZ IaaA accepted his hat, grinned
n 4 euoi0as sort Vi way, replaced the mat
IN AIs mead and walked into a cafe with
the man rugged out with the cast-steel nerve
VINO only a moment before had tippea his
headgear onto the pavement. l wouldn't
take a chance on a job like that for $1,000
in double eagles.
He put over so many gally stunts OF
strangers that l can remember the hall Of
them. One evening ne stood outside OF the
theatsr before the snow, with two or three
OF his chums. They all had their evening
clothes on. The man named Joe suddenly
united his black string tie, pulled it OFT, and
stuck it into his pocket. Then he wagered
his chums that he could borrow the cravat
OF the first man that came along wearing a
black string necktie. They took this one, too,
and they waited for a man to heave in sight
with a black string neektie. He proved to
be d d~ignihed looking man of 90 or so, with
the appearance OF a lawyer or some sort OF
a professional man. The Joseph individual
stepped up to the d~igniied appearing man
and addressed him impressiyely.
Sir he said with an amiable grin, you
perceive that in the hurry OF dressing for the
theater l neglected to don one OF the es-
s~entials, pointing to his shirt front. The
haberdasheries in this neighborhood are all
closed, and the ladies Of my party await me
in their box. l observe that your cravat Is
suitable for evening wear. VIII you lend it
to me for this EVENING"
,Assuredly, sir, was the instant reply
OF the dignihed looking man. You have
my sympathy in your difficulty, due, nc
doubt, to absent-mIudedness, d trait in
which l myself am not deficient, and with
one tug he Embossed ais tie, pulled it oil, and
extended it to the man with the gall. Then
he pulled his overcoat collar up around ais
ears so as to cover up his lack Of a tie, and
went his way. 1t was absolutely easy.
"On another occasion ne made a bet with
his outfit, while they wele s~trolling on 4
street, that he could borrow a dollar from
the first stranger VINO came along and VINO
looked as ii he had d dollar. He got away
with this one, too. He had winning ways
about him, there's no use in talking.
"But the galliest thing that he ever did
was when he took dinner at the home OF an
l. street man whom he had never seen be-
fore. He was walking along l. street with
a companion one raw afternoon wnen his
nostrils were titivated with the pleasant
aroma OF frying onions.
by George be exclaimed to his friend,
'they'r lie going to have steak and onions for
dinner in there, pointing to the residence
from which the fragrance proceeded. Let's
go in and have some.
"'Do you know the people, Joe? de-
INJURED his companions.
Nix was the reply, but that doesn't
make any difference. Come on in.
The friend wanted to bolt for it, but the
Joseph person had a powerful clutch on his
arm and he had to permit himself to be
dragged up the steps OF the fine house.
When the becapped maid answered the bell
ring the man OF gall asked to see the mas
ter of the house. The latter made his ap-
pearance directly in the paIlor, The gally
man handed the head OF the house his card.
Inen he made hislittle speech. The aroma
OF those frying onions had conquered his
sense Of propriety and quite swept away
his delicacy, he said. The homelike sug.
gestion Of those onions frying had so
wrought upon him as he passed-well, how
.ould the effect be otherwise upon a man