davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
SHARPEN UP YOUR WITS.

A child may know more than a
philosopher about some things. A lit
tie girl entered the study of Merezal,
the celebrated historian, and asked him
for coal of fire.
But you haven't brought shovel"
he said.
81 don't need any" was the reply.
And then, very much to his astonish-
ment, she filled her hand with ashes,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
CONUNDRUMS.

When is a -bottomed chair like a
bill? When you re-seat (receipt it.
Why is Athens like the wick of cam
die? Because it's in the middle Of
Greece.
Why is horse more clever than a
fox? Because horse can run when he
is in trap and a fox can't.
Why are good resolutions like faint
ing ladies? Because they want carry
ing out.
Why is an acquitted prisoner like a
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
ONLY PLACE FOR HIM.

Some one said to Brother Dickey:
"Here's story of a man who has
eight living wives"
To which after moments reflection.
Brother Diclel replied:
(which one er de lunatic asylums
Is he in?'-Atlanta Constitution.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26


to
hear? Would wordT
of
when champion should eopardize
1ncorrupibe
of a
advocacy syndicate
a
These had Theirs the highest
silently killing
= ono
splendid inducements
feahr
York;
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
room at the moment that he was trying
to call some one to his aid.
OPTICAL ILLUSION.

This is perfect square, as may be
proved by laying rule along each side
in succession.
The apparent curvature of the sides
Is an optical illusion due to the circles.
A curious effect of this sort, alarming
to timid people, was produced at the
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
AN IMPOSSIBILITY.

"Whose photograph is that?"
"One of the chorus girls in the Frivol-
ity show taken when she was sixteen"
Nonsense; photography wasn't in
vented then"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
A Valuable Spring.

What is stated to be spring giving
forth liquid resembling essence of
violet both in perfume and chemical
composition has been discovered in a
valley near Millau. Aveyron, France.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
SWEET NOTHING.

"Why did you send me a blank sheer
Of note paper instead Of your usual
love letter?"
Because my love has grown beyond
reach of expression"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
WORDS, WORDS, WORDS.

Browne-"Gringle has chosen a title
for his last up to date novel that is
simply perfection for simplicity. truth
and directness."
Towne-"What is it?''
Erowne-"Eighty Thousand Words"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
EVENING MATTERS UP.

Customer-"That is very large coal
you have sent me for the range"
Dealer-"Possibly, but you'll notice
that 1t is very small ton."
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
LIMITATIONS.

Squire Cornfodder-'This free mall
delivery is great, amt it?"
Billy Shoemaker-"Wall, Squar', I
don't like it A feller can't get up no
excuse to come to taown evenins any
more"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
The Value of Human Life.
BY Prof. Rudolf Eucken.

viewed human existence reveals entirely
different condition that shown the spirit Of pessmsm
spirit which potent influence conem
porae The existence OF the facts which pesmsm sets fortf
support of Its views not questioned they remain
consideration In reality however they constitute bu
fe which fraught with meaning
than Of become
The fact that this deeper meaning frequently
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
Government S Business q Model
BY Frank A. VanderIip.

r11TT
million
w
93 without
tails each Secretary But addition that duty
further responsibility problems
intricate The
through
and through his subordinate the
responsibility dollars
representing the cash balance which the Government All the Mnts
printing
to
responsible
ing which statistical
auditing
checked with minute that at the end of the
whole billion dollars
sides
Treasury N
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
ONE THING SURE.

"Do you believe Germany is in ear
nest about respecting the Monroe Doc
trine?
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26

Illness costs the people OF Great
Britain about fS5, 100000 a year.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
6be Fanny
~/ide Of
Life.

TOO MANY BANQUETS.
I'd like to hold hero's place
With talents to command it,
And yet / sadly fear that my
Digestion wouldn't stand it.
Washington Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
Courage, Physical and Moral.
BY the Rev. Thomas b. Gregory.

". b.
HE submest biography history those which
manhood triumphant that brought
to bear it
One day the immortal dscoverer the gravity
sitting his office the Mint when charmingy dressed lady
entered in the delicate nmaed the grand old
that If he would his official to aid her in certain
direction would that should by it.
Madam" said Sir You will obige
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26

II don't know. If she isn't, she's go
ing to be."-Chicago Record-Herald.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1903-06-26
The Principle Of Rest.
By Rose Edson-HeIme.


;
cessation suspension of OF
II n implies
all physical;
to extent act Of daily life they
d be entirely
L what will happen
k reclining position,
hen the
hold
This
tem and the entire
people this
be resting when the body inactive 1t that the body be
held
controlling power
the possible
the body satisfactorily If body would
other Tink
compleely.-The
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-02-07

and are going to have cozy little time
with the children"
Have cigar?" said Mr.. Belmore as
the two men seated themselves comfort
ably in a couple of wooden armchairs in
the sunny little apartment. e
THANK you, I'm not smoking now, y
said Mr.. Wilson with a hungry look at the
open box on the table beside him.
Oh! said his hest genially, $50 you're
sympathy. But this won't last, you
know"
Does your wife like smoking?''
Loves it," said Mr.. Belmore, sinking
the Tact of his official limit to four cigars
day. THAT Is, of course, she thinks its
a dirty habit and unhealthy, but it doesn't
make any difference to her--not a pins
worth. Cheer up, you'll get to this place
too"
Looks like it," said the other bitterly.
Here I haven't seen her for a week.
came 200 miles on purpose yesterday, and
now she won't even look at me. I don't
know what's the matter-haven't the least
sdea-and can get her to tell me. have
to be off tomorrow at Z o'clock, tool
call it pretty hard Ines
Let me see," said Mr.. Belmore judici-
ally, knitting his brows as if burrowing
can help you out. What have you been
writing to her? Telling her all about what
you've been doing, and just sending your
love at the end? They don't like that, you
know
Mr.. Wilson shook his head. mo, upon
my soul I've done nothing but tell her how
I-how I was looking forward to-oh hang
it, Belmore, the letters have been all right,
I know that
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-02-07

go her grip for an instant They won't
speak to each other, you see, only to me.
I've had the deuce Of a time I don't
know what you are going to do about II"
Never mind, it will be all right now"
said Mrs. Belmore reassuringly. She
pushed past him into the parlor where
sat a tall, straight girl with straight, light
brows, a long straight nose, and a straight
mouth with droop at the corners. In the
room beyond a thick set, dark young man
with glasses and q nervous expression
was looking at pictures. It did not require
Solomon to discover at glance how the
land lay.
If Mrs. Belmore had counted easily on
her powers of Cancellation she was dsap
pointed this time. After the dinner.
whereat the conversation was dragged
laboriously around four sides Of a square,
and the several futile, attempts when the
meal was over to leave the lovers alone
together, Mrs. Belmore resigned herself,
perforce, to the loss Of her cherished aft
ernoon. ....-
cts no use, We'll have to give up the
reading she said to her husband rapidly,
in one Of her comings and goings. per
haps later, dear. But it's really dread
full. Here we've been talking Of religion
any con can see that her heart is break
ing
II think he is getting the worst OF it, .
said Mr.. Belmore impartially.
| "Oh, 1t won't hurt him. She added In
a louder tone, "You take Mr.. Wilson up
to your den for a while, Herbert, Ethel
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-02-07
The listeners breathed . sigh Of re-

The listeners breathed q sigh OF re-
lief.
..He's gone to the station for time
table, whispered the husband, with a.
delighted grin; Though I can stand him
all right. We had a nice walk with the
little girls. 7 wished you were with us.
You must be about used up. How are
you getting along with her?''
ooh, pretty we'll. She let herself be
drawn down on the hall window seat at
the top of the landing. you see, Edith
really feels dreadfully. poor girl
What about?'' ~
Herbert, she isn't really sure that she
loves him.
isn't sure! After they've been en-
gagged for a year?"
THAT'S just it. She says that If they
had been married out Of hand, she
wouldn't have had time, perhaps. to have
any doubts. But it's the seeing him all
the time that's made her think
Made her% think what?"
whether she loves him or not; wheth-
er they are really suited. remember
that T used to feel that way about you,
dear. Oh, you know, Herbert, it's a very
serious thing for a girl. She says she
knows her whole life is at stake"
''How about his?
well. that's what said,' admitted
Mrs. Belmores 'She says that she feels
that she makes little difference in his life
either way She says his looking at
everything in a matter-of fact way just
chills her; she longs for a whole-souled
enthusiasm that can sweep everything
before 1t. She says that when she wakes
up In the morning that she feels as if
she'd die if she didn't see him before
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-02-07
The HAPPIEST TIME
w.. TILE Habblest Tine 500
Copyright, 1903, by Mary Stewart Cutting.)

sudden sight sof either one to the other
always shed reflected light, like the
glow Of the SUM- 1t was with feeling of
wonder that she marked it's disappear
ance, after brief CLEAN, as he not only
opened the door. but came out on the
piazza to greet her. and closed it behind
him.
They're in there-Edith and Alan" He
pointed over his shoulder with his thumb.
II thought they weren't coming until after
dinner
why, they weren't"
''Well, they're in the parlor, just the
same. Came out over an hour ago. Great
Scott, I wished I'd gone with you. I'm
worn out"
You don't mean to say you've stayed
with them all the time' Mrs. Belmore
looked scandalized.
IT should say had; 7 couldn't lose
'em. Whichever room I went he came
after. 1 went from pillar to post, but
Edith had me by the neck; she never let
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-02-07

night and when she does see him It's all
a dreadful disappointment to her; she
can't talk to him at all, she feels per-
fectly hard and stony; then, the moment
he's gone, she's crazy to have him back
again. She cries herself thin over It,"
"She's pretty bony, anyway" said Mr..
| Belmore impartially.
| Even his appearance changes to her.
She says sometimes he looks like q Greek
god. SO that she could go down on her
knees to him, and at other times Once
she happened to catch a glimpse Of him
in horrid red sweater, polishing his
shoes, and she said she didn't get over
! it for weeks
20, good gracious!" protested Mr.. Bel
more feebly. 20. good gracious. petty!
This is too much
'Hush-don't laugh SO loud-be quiet, .
said his wife, anxiously.
IF Wilson ever looks like q Greek god
to her, she's all right. She loves him
YOU can tell her SO for me. Wilson!
Hello!n
| The hall door opened and shut, the piano
| lid closed simultaneously with a bang, and
there was a swirl of skirts again toward
the staircase that scattered the guilty pair
on the landing. The hostess heaved q
patient sigh.
"They shall speak, said Mrs. Belmore
when another hour had gone with the sit
luation still unchanged. Her gentle voice
Illdu u uOto u UclcI GILL uIl-
j derstand why he doesn't make her. She
lis literally crying her eyes out because
1.-THE whole day had been lost. Why didn't
Iyou send him into the parlor for book
as told you to, when came up to take
care of Dorothy?"
"Ie wouldn't go. Hang It, I don't blame
1 him. "A man objects to being made q
fool Of before people, and he's tired OF It
4 Here he goes off again tomorrow for two
weeks. and"
Where is he now?" asked Mrs. Bel
4 more. 8
upstairs, In my room. smoking" i
Smoking! I thought he'd promised hel
solemnly not t."
Yes he did; but he says he doesn't
care a-red apple; he's going to have some
! comfort out of the day. I've left him with
a box of cigars. He's having the time Of
his life
: "o-o-h!" said Mrs. Belmore. When she
spoke it was with impressive slowness
when you hear me come down stairs
with Edith and go in the parlor, you wai
la moment and then bring him down
with his cigar-into the library. Do yor
understand 2"
/ NO. said Mr.. Belmore.
"Oh, Herbert! If she sees him smok-
I ing! There's no time to lose, for have
4 to get tea tonight. When I call you
leave him and come at once, do you hear
Don't stop a minute-just come, before
: they get a chance to follow"
''You bet I'll come, - said Mr.. Belmore
He nearly knocked her down by hi,
wildly tragic rush when she called from
(. the back hall. Herbert, please come al
. once! I can't turn off the water" They
Eclung to each other in silent laughter
behind the enshrouding portieres, not dar.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-02-07

"H'm," said Mr.. Belmore, there's got
to be something back of 1t. Seen any girls
since you've been gone?"
Mr.. Wilson fastened to shake his head
more emphatically than before. mot
one" he asseverated with the relief Of
complete innocence. Didn't even meet a
soul knew, except Dick Brewer. went
into jewelers. to get my glasses mended
and found him buying souvenir spoon
for his flancee."
"o-o-h!" said Mr.. Belmore, intelli-
gently, land did you buy present for
Edith?'
mo, didn't. She made mo promise
not to buy anything more for her; she
thinks I'm spending too much money"
"And did, you tell her about Brower?"
why, of course I did-as we were COM
ing out this morning
Mr.. Wilson stared blank1y at his friend.
Mr.. Belmore bit off the end of a new
cigar and threw it away. Wilson, my
poor fellow. you're so besotted in ignor-
ance that don't know how to let the
light in on you"
II don't know what you mean said
the bewildered Wilson. stiffly. II don't
know what am to do
mo, of course you don't-but Edith
does-you can just trust her for that A
girl always knows what a mansought to
do"
Then why doesn't she tell me what she
wants? I asked her to, particularly,
'Oh, no! She'll tell you everything the
opposite, that is, half the time eshe,il
| put every obstacle possible In your way,
to see If you're man enough to walk over
EN-; that's what she wants to find out:
if you're man enough to have your own
way In spite Of her; and, Of course If
| you aren't, you're an awful disappoint-
ment.''
care you sure" said Mr.. Wilson, deep
| ly, after an awestruck pause. Half the
time you say. But how am I to find out
! when she means-I give you my word,
Belmore, that I thought suppose ]
could have brought her small present,
anyway, in spite Of what she said-but
she hates souvenir Spoons IS
You'll have to cipher it out for your
SELF said Mr.. Belmore. 'I only give
you cold, bare facts. But if / were YOU .
he added, importially, I'D go down after
a while and try and get her alone. you
know, and say something. You can, ii
/ you try" A swish of skirts outside OF
the open door made Mr.. Wilson jumr
forward as Mrs. Belmore came in sight
with her friend. The latter had her arm
/ around the Older woman, and her form
/ dropped toward her as they passed the
i two men. The eyes of the girl were red
and her lips had a patient CULVER.
It was some hours later that the hus-
band and wife met unexpectedly upon the
stairs with a glad surprise.
GU don't mean to say It's you
alone!' he whispered.
Waits she coming up?'' They
clutched each other spasmodically as the,
listened to the sound Of a DETECTING foot
STEP There was a GREATNESS moment
and then the chords of funeral marcI
doomed forth upon the air.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-02-07
HoW's This?

We offer Ono Hundred Dollars Reward for any
case Of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls
Catarrh Cure.
F. ]. CHENEY CO., Toledo, O,
We, the undersigned. have known F. J. Cheney
for the last IL years, and believe him perfectly
honorable In all business transactions and fnan-
cially able to carry out any obligations made by
their firm.
Walding Kinnan 4 Marvin, Wholesale Drug
gists, Toledo, o.
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of
the system. Testimonials sent free. Price Toe
per bottle. Sold by all druggists.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-02-07
A SIMPLE REQUEST,

Philadelphia North American,
'say!":. called the victim from beneath the
bed coverings. '>"-'"Ael 'e
Mell? asked one of the burglars gruf1y,
"Wonld You fellows mind Carrying OF that
ornamental watch dog of mine in the front ward
along with the rest OF your swag q -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-02-07
AMERICAN NABoBs.

New York Weekly.
Upton-Who Is that mani He acts as If he
Downton-oh, he'll get over that In , few
days. He's good fellow at heart, but he has
just been on q vacation and he rode both WAYS
in palace car. 'o
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28

lie adoptions made elsewhere, max
ing the child adopted inherit the
estate OF its adopted parent here,
whether such adoption was by the
consent Of both husband and wife
or not, thereby giving such child
an equal advantage with those born
to the parents here. And Represen-
tatiye Paele held that none could
dispense with the course of Nature
relating to the birth OF child and
the right to inherit from the lawful
parents.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28
Torpedo Boats Hero.

The British cruiser Amphion aud
the Torpedo Boat Destroyers Vira-
go and Sparrowhawk arrived this
morning from Esquimalt. Their
commanders are Barker, Walters
and Easement, respectively. The
Amphion is in naval row, in ,he
stream, and the two destroyers oc-
supy half OF the slip at Naval
Wharf No l. The latter were the
objects OF much attention all the
morning, most of the people here
having never seen vessel of their
kind bsfore. The little fighters are
very long and narrow, set low in
the water and are equipped with
four boilers and smoke stacks each
They are fast flyers.
The Amphion will coal and will
then return east, going eventually
to England. The destroyers, ac-
companied by the Amphitrite, will
sail in about ten days for China.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28
Sonoma Arrives.

The steamship Sonolna arrived
early this morning ffol p the Colo
nies and Samoa on her way to San
Francisco. She brought the fol-
lowing passengers for Honolulu:
Nine AnatonIa Dolores. Nine Van
dour, G Newell, F Vest, l NJ, TAFT
l f Wichman, Hugo Frombol.z and
e Zikidemondt. The Sonoma will
resume her voyage at o'clock this
afternoon.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28
Mrs McOlennan Here.

Mrs DR. McClennan 10 a passenger
by the Sonoma from Tonga to Cal
ifornia, and was welcome caller at
the Office of The INDEPENDENT in the
forenoon. The lady has spent most
OF the day seeing old friends. Mrs
McClennan reports her family in e1.
cellent health, and that Bishop Willis
and wife are comfortably installed
in their new home. The Honolulu
colony in Tonga asked to be remem-
bered to all old friends.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28

er Beckley's work in the lower body
during the session just closed. Mr.
Beckley, although still in the morn
ing of life, controlled the delibera-
tions OF the House in manner that
would do credit to far older and
more experienced heads. He has
won a lofty aud important place
in the public heart and confidence.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28

The incident showed that men,
bsrs OF the House, irrespective. of
party or political predictions,
know aud feel. together with the
whole Territory, the value OF Speak
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28

Mr. Beckley, although taken by
surprise, was equal to the occasion.
He replied, thanking the House for
the compliment bestowed and in
turn congratulatipg the members
upon their work during the session.
He believed that the House could
90 bsfore its constituents with
clear conscience and showing
good record, and he hoped that all
OF the members would continue
campaign for the welfare of the
people, who had reposed their trust
in them.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28

Flags il the harbor, particularly
those on naval vessels, are at half
mast today out of respect to the
msmory OF the late Admiral Belk-
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28
H A w A III a ~
S Q A p
For Everybody

For Everybody
The HONOLULU SOAP WORKS
are now putting up their BEST
Number SOAP in 80 pound Cases
family size-at So 25 per box, deliver
ed free to every part OF the city.
Full cases 100 pounds-will be de-
livered at S.25,
For all empty boxes returned in
good, clean condition, 10 and 20
cents will be paid.
Every Family in the Islands
should have q case OF Soap at this
price. The best Soap made for the
Kitchen and Laundry. Try case.
1t is cheaper than buying by the
bar. -
Order from the Agents,
N W McCh@ney & Sons,
Limited.
Queen Street.
2436 II.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28

- Parties wishing to dispose 90 Ut
ain np,intv0assserr
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28
Sumner in Port.

The U s transport Sumner, Cap.
tain Lotnrop, arrived early this
morning from San Francisco with
stores and a few casuals for the
army in the Philippines. She is
coaling at the Pacific Mail wharf.
Although some slight repairs are to
be made, the Sumner expects to get
away in about fve days. From
Manila she will go through the
Suez canal to New York.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28
TOPICS OF THR DAY.

Our type made us appear to say
yesterday that the militia reorgani-
zation bill was up to the Governor,
it having passed the Legislature.
The hill failed to pass yesterday but
was taken up again this morning
and put through.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28
TUESDAY, APRIL %, 1903.
COMPLIMENT TO BECKLEY.

The compliment of the House OF
Representative late yesterday to
Speaker Fred. w. Beckley was
most happy incident of the session.
A fine gold watch, with fob and a
charm carrying the Hawaiian coat
OF arms accompanied the address OF
presentation and the expressions of
aloha on the part of the members.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1903-04-28

In presenting the token from the
House, Representative Gandall ex-
pressed the feeling of hearty eppre-
citation by all of the uniform courtesy
OF the Speaker during the session.
and OF his wisdom and ability in as
sisting the formulation OF public
measures and the enactment of them
into law. He said that the members
recognized the impartiallity and
Justice that had characterized the
Speakers conduct in his rulings,
showing that political differences
were not permitted to influence any
OF his acts. The Speakers attitude
b I'D ever bssn in the interest OF the
psople and of the advance ment OF
public measures, The committee,
consisting Of Mr.. Gaudall, Hatris,
Keliinoi and Lswis, together with
other members, then advanced to the
chair aud made the presentation
above referred to.