davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
The difference.

Willie Boerum-Pa, what's the diff
ference between news and gossip?
Mr.. Boerum-Well, my son, when
ever your mother tells anything to
anyone, it's news; but when any
one tells her anything it's gossip
N. Y. Tines
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27

81 want to introduce my friend,
Baron Effeff"
81 had the pleasure last season,
madam, of dancing with you several
times-perhaps you remember me Pr
Tliegende Blaetter.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
HIGHER Game.

''The earl's first idea in coming here
was to become engaged to girl with a
million
Eyes, and now he's engaged to Ave"
give girls with million?"
so! gracious, no! One girl with five
millions. Philadelphia Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
The Dinereace.

''Now," said the teacher, ''can you
tell me what way our country is diff
ferent from the countries where they
have emperors and kings?"
Eyes," replied little George. I'm this
country we call them leaders Of the
organization Chicago Record
Herald.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
Not i'm : Political sense.

"You say his wife had him arrested
for repeating? I didn't know she
took any interest in political cleo
tions."
SIN political elections?"
eyes, didn't you say she accused him
of repeating?"
Eyes. Bigamy."-Catholic Standard
and Times.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27

Two Questions.

Old McGrumpps-Do you suppose
that am going to allow my daughter
to marry man as poor as you are?
Young McGall-Do you suppose that
any rich man would marry girl as
homely as she is?-N. Y. Weekly.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
NE 1horn ana the Rose

First Married Man.-Women are
frightful gossipers, aren't they.
Second Married Man-Yes; but just
think what lot of entertaining In
formation one would miss concerning
the neighbors were they Otherwise
Chicago Daily News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
No Need to WORRY.

professor" said the bad young
man of the class, ''the scientists tell
US the anthracite supply of the world
will be completely exhausted in lit
tie over 60 years. What are we to
do for fuel then?"
"My friend,'' replied the venerable
man, "by that time, in all probability,
you will have gone where the fuel
supply is inexhaustible." Chicago
Tribune.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
penaltiea 81 Greatnes,

Crawford suppose his fame has
made him happy.
Crabshaw-Not quite. Ever since he
became famous he has been worrying
himself trying to originate deathbed
epigram to deliver as his last words
Puck.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
CORRECTLY Timed.

Lawyer-You say you are sure it was
about IL o'clock in the forenoon. How
do you fix the time?
Witness-The night editions of the
Afternoon papers had just been placed
on sale.-Town Topics.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
ADtly Put.

"What," asks the individual who al
ways is studying conundrums; what
is the difference between photograph
and woman?"
That's easy" asserts a gentleman
who has just been compelled to give up
all his money for the new-dress de-
mand. Because you start phono-
graph talking by giving it money, but
you stop woman's talk that way
Judge,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
where he Fell Down.

He could write comic article that would
make you fairly roar.
And his after-dinner speeches were with
humor trimming DER;
But when left to mind the baby his re.
sources were dtspelled,
And the funnier he tried to be the more the
baby yelled.
.-Tit-BitS
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
No Need OF Bdrds.

81 understand she has joined the
Audubon society and no longer has
birds on her hats. How did it happen?"
"Why, she found that she could get
Just as expensive hat or q bonnet
without birds.-Chicago Post.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
Too Expensive.

Wife-Oh, what Iream of bon
net!
Husband-Yes, but there's no dan
ger of the dream coming true until
the price is reduced.-Chicago Amer
lean.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
How foolish.

ssWasn't that Jack? He passed right
by without recognizing u.s."
Eyes. / rejected him yesterday, and
the silly boy thinks meant it. IN. Y
Journal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
Dlsapp0inted.

.They say Bascom was disappointed
in love-"
EYES,
.sWonder why the girl wouldn't mar
~ him?"
.she did.'-Indianapolis Sun.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27

els this the cracked. wheat, Jane?"
81 dun know, mum. amt looked 1t
itor teched it; an if it's cracked it wuz
cracked afore come here. IN. Y. OBJ
server.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
settled Him.

Hewitt-You don't seem to be in the
swim.
Jewett-My boy, have owned more
dress suits than you have ever hired
n y. Times.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27

Permit us to put in word:
About the yachts we've reckoned,
And We believe that Shamrock third
Will still be Shamrock second.
-Iud1p ."..
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
where They Go,

The men who deal in flower seeds.
Would suffer like the dickens
In business, II 1t were not
For neighbors who keep chickens.
& Chicago Tribune.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27

'.Look at Sissy jones'" said the first
boy. ''She thinks she's right in style,
don't she?''
EYES," sneered the second boy. ''She
don't know the ladies all let their skirts
drag through the dust nowadays. p
Chicago Tribune.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
BRONcHo BUSTING.
MAJ VINO Knows Whereof He Speaks
Tells What He Thinks
About 1t.

Breaking horses and posing as a
broncho hero is not the business it is
cracked up to be- said the man who
had one arm in sling, and leg not as
straight as it used to be, and who,
according to the New Orleans Times
Democrat, was otherwise MANNED and
| disfgured, land any man who wants to
pose in that role is perfectly welcome
to the honor SO far as am concerned.
I have had my day. For Is years was
| as game as any man. The widest
buster of the western plains had no
advantage over me, and never thought
once that there was anything in the
shape of horse that l couldn't con-
quer. And it was matter of great
pride with me, too. Now look back
upon my experiences, my posing, and
ell that as vain and foolish sort of
heroism. Really, it was kind of self
| worship. Look at me now. You
| wouldn't think that l had ever been
able to sit in the saddle astride a
busting, bucking broncho. In the
west, during my wilder experiences, I
got through all right. But after I
left the west, and after wild, rowing
career of is years, l was thrown by a
scrub, cheapjohn horse, and since
then l have lived under an unlucky
star. One horse after another has
thrown me. Nearly every horse I
would straddle for awhile would MAIN
me in some way. What has been the
result? l am perfect coward. Ihave
lost all the nerve ever had. Ny spirit
was broken by the first throw-and, IN
cidentally, the same thing happened
to my left leg, and my left arm was
wrenched out of place. Why, now I
can't hardly stand to look at horse.
II the horse is at all frisky, I simply
can't keep my knees from popping.
And when it comes to mounting horse
well, he has to be awfully tame, else
there must be many soft places to fall.
It's curious change. Back in the old
days I would have ridden the widest
broncho along the sharp edges of the
Rocky mountains. Now want feather
beds to fall on, and it is all due to the
first throw. The broncho rider never
RECEIVERS from the first fling. It
wounds his pride too deeply, breaks
his spirit end leaves him without cour-
age" and the old rider sighed as he
hobbled away to the next listener.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27

She-Gracious! The last time saw
him he was the most opinionated fel-
low in town. How he has changed.
He-Oh! didn't you know he was re-
Gently married ?-Detroit Free Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27

Janitor's Wife-Phwat are yez read
in?
Janitor-Oi'm reading tn history ~
Napoleon Bonaparte. Moy! Moy!
Phwat janitor he wud ov made!-N.
Y. Weekly.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
How It Works.

"When he first began to call, she ex-
planned: II wondered if could love
him."
"Well?''
'Well, when he began calling on that
Jones girl 1 wondered if could make
him love Chicago Post.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
Their sad PIixht.

sNow there is talk of another strike
in sympathy with the sympathetic
strikers"
Indeed! Are they entitled to sym
pathy?"
.Well, it's considered hard luck
that they have no grievances of their
own."-Puck
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27

The Fly In the Ointment.
At last we're to be married!
With joy my bosom thrills,
To think that all is settled
That is, except the bills.
-Philadelphia Ledger.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
Catarrh Causes Female Discs

/ America is the land Of nervousw0
The great majority OF nervous ~
are SO because they are suffering
some form of female disease.
the greatest number OF female trc
are caused directly by catarrh.
women despair of recovery. e.
trouble is 80 common, SO Prev
that they accept itas almost inevi
The greatest obstacle in the way
covery is that they do not unden
that it Is catarrh which il the -
Of their illness.
In female complaint, ninety
cases out OF one hundred are noe
but catarrh.
Peruna cures catarrh whereye
Gated. b
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27

Broke Into Song.
Upon a key of dynamite
Little Georgia sought repose.
And slyly lit a cigarette.
my Little Georgia Rose"
Cornell Widow.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
'; soGIEIY WRECKED her HEAL
4 Pretty New York we.nsa's I
tiss Talk of Her Numeesss IT.

"A Pretty New York Wenaa's
tho Talk Of Her Numeeem ~
Mrs. J. E. Finn, 50 East Hirh]
Buffalo, N. T., writes:
Peruna Medicine Co., Columbu
Gentlemen: fen yea
Ihad to gfpe up social lfe e.
as my health quas completely
dozvn. Tie doctor advised .
plete rest for 4 year. As Md
oct of tie question for = Tim.
Gan to look for some other mel
restoring my health.
.Ihad often heard Of Peni
an excellent tonic, 50 I bought
tie to see 4vhaf tt qvonld DO "a
and It certainly took hold d
system, and REFRIGERATED me, I
less than tzyo months / uas 1,
feet health, and non eyhen
4vorn oct or tired = dose or 4
Peuna IS ali that / need. :,
l. E. Finn.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27

Cure You.
II you are troubled with Kidney or
Bladder troubles, such rs Dropsy,
Bright's Disease, Catarrh. Gravel Of the
Bladder, Albumen in Urine and I'M
healthy deposits, or too frequent dis
charge of the urine, pain in the back
and bladder, dropsical swelling Of the
feet and, legs, etc, etc, we guarantee
that by using Smiths Sure Kidney
Cure, q complete cure will be effected.
Manufactured by Smith Medical Co.,
st. Louis, Mo.
Price 50 cents and 500. For sale BY
all druggists.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-06-27
Sac Was q SurprIae

"Name this child" said the southern
bishop who was baptizing small scrap
of "poor white" humanity.
The Oskaloosa herald., 1903-12-10
Why

IL. Why
Would not something for the Kitchen
or Dining Table make an appreciative gift
for Wife, Mother or Sister? We could
mention 999 items. Here are few: Fine
Blue and White Granite Iron ware inlKet-
ties, Dust Pans, Tea and Coffee Pots, Tea
Kettles, etc. Nickel Plated Tea and Coffee
Pots, Tea Kettles, Crumb Trays, ETC.,
Nickel Plated Irons in sets, Cups and
Saucers, Plates, Water Glasses, Pitchers,
Glass Fruit Dishes, Glass Tea Sets, Knives
and Forks, and so on. We could fill page
with suggestions If we had the space
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1903-03-20
Saved FROM THE knife
Cal cura Solvent, DR.. Kennedy's New Medi-
cine will Dissolve and ExpeI Stone and
Gravel from the System.

A surgical operation is no longer neces-
sary for the removal of Stone and Gravel
from the Kidneys and Bladder, since the
neto medicine, Cal-cura Solvent, discovered
by the well-llnown physician and surgeon,
DIR. David Kennedy, of Kennedy Row,
Kingston, N. Y, quickly dissolves and
swiftly expels Stone, Red and White GRAY
ell, thus freeing the patient of the infamma-
ton and pain, caused by the presence of
these lime formations. Better than all,
Cal-cura Solvent prevents the formation of
Stone and Gravel and all uric acid condi-
tons of the blood. The medical profess
sion has accepted and heartily endorsed
the principal upon which DIR. Kennedy
has based his claims for Calcura Sol
vent.
Write to the Cal-cura Company, Kenne-
dy Row, Rondout, n. Y, for free sample
bottle.
Remember: Only one DIR. David Ken
nedy ever lived in Rondout, City of Kings
ton, N. Y, and be sure you get his neD
and latest medicine, which is sold only in
90 bottles.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1903-03-20
Estate of Samuel T.. Thomas.
Commissioners Notice.

The undersigned, having been appointed
by the Hon. Probate Court for the District of
Addison Commissioners, to receive, examine
and adjust all claims against the estate OF
Samuel f.. Thomas, late of Salisbury, in
said District, deceased, and all claims exhio-
tied in offset thereto, hereby give notice that
will meet for the purposes aforesaid at
his late residence on the 4th day OF April and
29th day OF August next, from l o'clock p. m.
until O'Clock p. m, each of said days,
and that six months from the I'd day of March,
A. D. 1908, is the time limited by said Court
for said creditors to present their claims to
us for examination and allowance.
Dated at Salisbury this 18th day of March,
A. ID. 1908.
LORING A. ELLIS, ICo,,,,,.,
HENRY j. HYDE, issioho'e'
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1903-03-20
ADVICE TO BOYS
Get the Primary Business Virtues Into
Your Character

Boys are constantly writing me for
advice about how to succeed, and when
I send them my receipt they say that
am dealing out commonplace general
ties. OF course l am, but that's what
the receipt calls for, and if a boy will
take these commonplace generalities
and knead them into his job the mix
ture II be cake.
Once fellows got the primary bust
ness virtues cemented into his charac-
ter he's safe to build on. But when a
clerk crawls into the Office in the morn
ing like a sick setter pup and leaps
from his stool at night with the spring
Of a tiger I'm a little afraid that if
sent him to take charge of q branch
house he wouldn't always be around
when customers were. He's the sort of
a chap who would hold back the gu.
an hour every morning and have {
gain two every afternoon if the Lord
would give him the same discretionary
powers that he gave Joshua. And
have noticed that he's the fellow who
invariably takes timekeeper as an in
suit. He's pretty numerous in business
offices; in fact if the glance of the hui
man eye could affect a clock face In
the same way that mans country
cousins affect their city welcome I
should have to buy a new timepiece for
the office every morning.-From Let
ters From a Self Made Merchant to
His Son." by George Horace Lorimer.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1903-03-20
Estate of Lucinda Lane.
COmmissioners' Notice.

The undersigned, having been appointed
by the Hon. Probate Court for the district OF
and adjust all claims against the estate OF
Lucinda Lane, late of Cornwall, in said
district, deceased, and all claims exhibited
will meet for the purposes aforesaid, at
the residence of c. +. Sampson, on the 26th
day of March and the 18th day of August
next, from 10 o'clock a.. m. until O'clock
p. m each of said days, and that six months
from the 20th day of February, A ID. 1903, is
the time limited by said Court for said cred
itors to present their claims to us for exam
nation and allowance.
Dated at Cornwall, this oath day of Feb
ruary, A. ID. 1903.
MILO b. WILLIAMSON
IRA HAMBLIN, Com.
10 CARLTON G. FROST,
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1903-03-20
Estates of James Nj. Doughty,
Kittredge Doughty and ROsilla
nnnOhfV

Notice to Sell Real Estate.
I p1sIRI UF OF AppfsoS S. Probate Court.
Be II remember ed that at session OF the
Probate Court, holden at Middlebury, within
and for SAID District, on the 4th day of March,
A. ID. 1903.
Present: Hon. W. II. Bliss, Judge.
Whereas. Albert j. Dickinson, administrator
OF James NJ Doughty and kittredge Doughty
and Rollin +. Brown and A. II. McAllister,
administrators of Rosilla Doughty, all late of
Orwell, in said District, deceased, has this
writing, setting forth that II will be necessary
to sell part of the real estate Of said de-
ceased, for the payment of the debts and
charges of administration; and also that II
will be beneficial for all parties interested
therein to sell the whole of the real estate OF
said deceased, described as follows, to wit:
a mountain wood lot in Benson in the county
of Rutland, containing about so acres; pas
ture in said Benson containing about 30 acres,
known as the Durfee pasture; part OF the
Doughty Home Farm in Orwell in said dis
trict, containing about IA acres; and the
ated in said Benson, containing about A
acres; in each of which parcels or land the
said James NJ , Rosllla, and kittredge Doughty
were at the time OF their respective decease
each entitled to Il certain interest, and there
in making application to said Court Tor
license to made such sale.
1t is ordered, That all persons Interested in
the estate of said deceased or any OF them be
notified to appear before said Court ut the
| Probate ONCE in Middlebury, in said District,
| on the Both day of March, a. ID. 1908, by publ
cation of this order, three weeks successfully
previous thereto. in the Middlebury Register,
n newspaper printed at Middlebury, afore-
SAID, to show cause, II any they may nave,
| why said license should not be granted.
II W. ii. BLISS, Judge.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1903-03-20
Application for License.

Whereas Edward w. Train of Middlebury,
in the county OF Addison and state of Yer
mont, having this day filed with the liquor
commissioners OF the town of Middleburv, in
accordance with the requirements of act No.
80 of the Laws of 1902, an application and
bond for a first class license for the sale of
intoxicating liquors at the Pierce House, in
the southwest corner thereof, facing Court
street in said town OF Middl'bury, we, the
said board of liquor commissioners for the
town OF Middlebury hereby give due notice
that we will meet for pnblic hearing on said
application at the said Pierce House, in said
town of Middlebury, on the Both day OF
March, A. ID. 1908, at O'Clock p. m, for the
purpose of considering such application, at
which time and place all interested persons
may appear.
Dated at Middleburv, in the County OF
Addison and State of Vermont, this 18th day
March, A. D. 1908.
f. j. MATHEWS,
JOHN "A. O'CONNOR,
HENRY W. HAMMOND.
Liquor Commissioners for the
3w town of MiddleburV
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1903-03-20
TREASURY DEPARTMENT.

Office Of the Comptroller of the Currency.
WASHINGTON, d. C., Fen. "a, 1903.
Whereas, by satisfactory evidence pre-
sented to the undersigned, 1t has been made
to appear that The First National Bank of
Orwell. located in the Town of Orwell, in the
County of Addison and state of Vermont, has
compiled with all the provisions OF the Act of
Congress "to enable National Banking AssO.
Citations to extend their corporate existence,
and for other purposes" approved July 18th.
1882, as amended by the Act, approved April
18th, 1902.
Now therefore, /, william B. Ridgely,
Comptroller of the Currency, do hereby certify
that The First National Bank Of Orwell,
located in the Town of Orwell, in the County
of Addison and State of Vermont is author
lied to have succession for the period speci-
fed in its amended articles of association,
namely, until close of business on February
oath, 1923.
In testimony whereof, witness my hand and
Seal of office this twenty fourth day OF Feb
ruary, 1903. VIM b. RIDGELY,
Comptroller OF the Currency.
SEA
Charter No 22s. Extention No. 200.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1903-03-20
Notice of Application tor License

Whereas John Higgins OF Middlebnry hav-
ing filed with the undersigned License Com
missioners for the town of Middlebury. an
application and bondtfor first class license
for the sale OF intoxicating liquors at the
Addison House, in the room on the right of
the main entrance facing Washington street.
in said town OF Middlebury, we hereby give
notice that we viii meet for public hearing
on such application at the Addison House, in
said Middlebury, on the Both day Of March,
A. ID. 1919, at O'Clock in the afternoon.
Dated at Middlebury this 18th day of March,
A. ID. 1903.
F.. MATHEWS,
JOHN ii. O'CONNOR,
II. W. HAMMOND,
Commissioners for the town of
3w Middlebury.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1903-03-20
II YOU HAVE PAIN IN YOUR BACK
Do Not Be Deceived. You have
Kidney Trouble, and You Do
Not Need a Physician to
Tell You So.

Pain in the back is an almost infallible
dgn of kidney disease; a surer sign 10
the condition of your urine. If you have
pain in the back, then look to the con-
dition of your urine. 1t is easily done.
Take glass or tu1nbler and fill it with
urine; after 1t has stood "a hours, if It
has sediment, if 1t is milky or cloudy,
If tits pale or discolored, stringy or ropy,
your kidneys and bladder are in a dam
eerous condition and need immediate at
tention, or the consequences may prove
fatal. DR.. David Kennedy's Favorite
Remedy is the one medicine that really
cures all diseases of the kidneys, liver,
bladder and blood, rheumatism, dyspep-
sia and chronic constipation, and it will
take you but a short trial to convince
yourself of its wonderful curative power.
G. F. Sammer of No. 400 Tioga street.
Syracuse, N. Y, in a recent letter says
az was afflicted for years with
severe pains in my back and kid
news. l tried many doctors and
many medicines, but got no relief.
l bought bottle of DR.. David Ken
nedy's Favorite Remedy and it has
entirely cured me-"
It Is for sale by all druggists in the
New SO Cent Size and the regular
81. 90 size bottles-less than a cent dose.
Sample 6ottie-enoHgh for trial, free BY mail.
Or. David Kennedy Corporation. Rondout N. Y.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1903-03-20
TRAGEDY AvERTED.

"Just in the nick of time our little boy
was saved" writes Mrs. w. Watkins of
Pleasant city, Ohio. Pneumonia had
played sad havoc with him and a terri
BILE cough set in besides. Doctors
treated him. but he grew worse every
day At length we tried Dr. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption, and
our darling was saved. He's now
sound, and we'll" Everybody ought to
know, it the only sure cure for Coughs,
Colds and all Lung diseases. Guarantee
by w. H. Sheldon, Middlebury and DR.
d. A. Bisbee, Bristol. Druggists. Price
SOC and 81. Trial bottles free.