Alaska sentinel., 1903-03-26

ACLihi hCd W ie-SAtS to AtASN TGtters. Yes" replied Tatters: Il braced six men fer a dime dis mornin' an on'y got one refusal. Commercial Tribune.
 A man with an unusually large mouth has the habit of opening it on some occasions very wide. His dentist the other day administered a mild re- buke: Not so wide, please; l prefer to stand outside and work
 Summed Up: The Widow-I want man to do odd jobs about the house, run on errands, one that never answers back. and Is always ready to do my bidding Applicant-You're looking for husband ma'am.-New York Life.
 A Natural Question:: Have you any two-cent stamps?' inquired the victim, after paying his bill at the Bong Tong Hotel. II think so." replied the clerk; "how many do you wantT How much are they apiece? Press.
 These Americanos," cries the af- frighted Tagal, 'are cannibals." Whatever gave you such an ideaT asks the Moro. T just heard one of those soldiers ask that pretty school teacher to come and eat Filipino with him. ."-What-to-E Eat.
 Are they fond of their New York home" 'Oh. awfully fond. They spend their winters in Florida, their springs in Lakewood. their summers at Newport, and their autumns at Lenox, but they are simply devoted to their New York hOme"'-Exchange.
 Convinced: Do you read Dickens:" "No," said Mrs. Cumrox, rather loft fly. Perhaps you are one of those who do not regard him as representing the best literature?" Il am. l have seen his books offered for sale as cheap as 25 cents Washington Star.
 Very Unromantic: "They had one of the strangest marriages recorded for a long time" "In what respect:" Tn every respect. Why. both parents on both sides were present. there was nothing sudden or secret about it, and their own clergyman performed the mony."-Judge.
 The Lesser Evil: Charley, dear" said young Mrs. Torkins. Il hope you will never conceal it from me when you bet on a horse race" Wont you be angry if I lose?" Not as angry as I would be if you were to win and not let me know about it.'-Wash- ington Evening Star.
 Mrs. Bizzy-I am so sorry to hear 1 that your wife has been throwing the crockery at you again, Casey. Where did she hit you? Casey-Faith. ma'am! That's what Oi do be afther complain in ay. Twas a whole set av dishes broke to pieces, an she nivir hit me wanst.-Brooklyn Life.
 You have just as much right and, theoretically, just as good chance as anybody else to be President" says the patriotic citizen to his neighbor. "I cannot agree with you" sghs the neighbor; we have no children, and that fact alone would lose me the pho tographer's vote."-Judge.
 Miss Mainchantz-I suppose you've heard of my engagement to MT. Jenks. Miss Ascott-Yes, and l confess I was surprised You told me once that you wouldn't marry him for q million dol. lars. Miss Mainchantz-I know, dear, but I discovered later that he had two millions.-Philadelphi Press.
 Wished to be Prepared: I'm hungry, sir" said the began: wont you give me enough to get meal?' Here, my good man." said MT. Pompus. here's penny for you" ''Oh, thank you, sir. By the way, have you got pep sin tablet about you? I always get dyspepsia when l overeat myself.'- Tit-Bits.
 Showed What She Could Do: Phoxy T got a good square meal last night, the first in several weeks. and I have you to thank for it. Friend--Me to thank? Well. that's news to me- PhoIy-Yes, I know. l telephoned to my wife yesterday that you were com ing out to dinner with me.-Philadel- phia Press.
 Selected Names: First Matinee Girl That woman looks like an actress. Do you know what her name is! Sec ond Matinee Girl-She was a Miss Ethel Johnson before she married George Billings, whose stage name is Alfred de We're. but she is known pro- fessionally as Euphemia Frothingham l-Brooklyn Life.
 Feminine Progression: First she wondered if any man was really wor- thy of her" Yes" Then she won dered which man was the most worthy of her." Yes" Then she wondered which of several worthy men she had refused would come back to her" "Yes." And then she began to won- der what man she could get."-!Tit- Bits.
 He was wandering in Ireland. and came upon couple of men lin holts"