Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1903-08-22

thiVhfh' hlii NHA hlN"u anu bNhtNi'-
Sunday School Teacher-And 80 lot
wife was turned to salt Can anyone Tel
why2
Wicked WHY ttrom the rear She wai
loo fresh. Harvard iampoon.
Fond Mother 90 teacher Don't yoi
think my hoy is bound 10 make hls marx
1eacner-l am AFRAID s9 III seems im'
bits.
And what became Of the splendid. Z ar'
less man who nut down mat political boss
you hud here a year OF two dg1
ION, ne Qua political DOES NOV. Ohl-
tago Record Herald.
you bear II Ike a little man said the
dentist after he had pulled the tooth.
Huh" exclaimed Tommy I'm Il heap
grltticT than that bear % like Il htue
woman. Chicago Tribune
my ringers seem to be an thumbs to-
day apuOgetlcaly remarked tnc clum-
~ butcher AN SAID the customer,
significantly that accounts Tor them
getting m the weigh Philadelphia Het-
ord,
"These Amerlcanos, cries the alright.
I'd Tagab "are canuihals "N hat ever
gave you such an idea2' asks the Moro
II Just heard one OF those soldiers ask
that pretty school teacher 10 come anu
cat a Filipino with himN'-What 70 Eat
But father replied the orrng son.
you Know every young fellow has 70 SOW
his wild oats" l Yes answered the faith
or, hut you ought 20 know when you
have a big enough crop IN '-Ono State
journal,
The boy was sittlag on the pavement
crying bitterly How did Il ngppenY'
asked a sympathetic gentleman who
CHANGED 10 be passing. It didn't said
the boy, Father done Il on purpose, ~
Tit-Bits,
Miss Gddlgosh-Oh, uncle, have you
seen the Nllllamses' baby? DO describe
IL 10 me.
Uncle Shark Description um!-ahl
Very small features. clean shayen, red
faced and looks like a hard duRker,
''Ah got no use 10 de man." said Char
coal Lph, In one OF his philosophical
turns, dat donate en- th0usan dOllahs 4
de heather fund oh de fashiounble church
wild one han an raise de rents on his
he bettah hegn practlsln crawlin' flo
De eye oh er needle Mistah Jackson Pee
Baltimore News
Senator Grab-A man called on me this
morning and offered me 1900 Tor my vote
on a certain measure, but 1 refused It.
Political Purist-Bravol You ought TO
have the approval Of your conscience
Senator Grab-l have we finally agreed
on s2,O00. Boston Post
Some men" said Uncle Eph'm. us like
Ssh Dty don't never come to the top on
tell dey die Washington star
silllcus-lm afraid the world has very
little sympathy for its unfOrtunates.
Cynlcus- N0nsenseI Haven't yOu ever
notccd how people cry at weddings
Philadelphia Record,
Isn't II silly for a woman to refer 10
her now hat as q duck OF bonnet @
That appropriate enough. a duck has
q pretty big bill attached TO H. you
know '-Cathohc Standard and Times.
iii, therew called the policeman.
don't you see that sign No dogs All.
lowed IN this park" "Ah!" replied the
dog owner "hut this poor dog can't read.
Fine day, isn't Philadelphia Press.
What Is your rule Of buslness-yout
maxim we ask Of the Wall street baron.
Very simple he answers. IL pay for
something that can't get, with money
that ! haven't got. and then sell what /
never had for more than It ever cost. -
Life.
Professor, I want to ask you aues-
uon, you please Certainly. Let me
hGn - L. IL
perience leads 20 the belief that person
who cats a Welsh rabbit should sleep on
u hare mattress Cleveland Plain Deal.
err
"Nowork bought a clock with union
label last week, and the next dav he took
II back and demanded his money" What
was the matteri' 1T wouldn't strike
Deacon Johnson Does vo' believe In IN.
FAINT damnation. Brudder Jackson?
Brother Jackson -Deedy MOI Deyll pick
W cuss words enough wldout being
s"ored at by deyr parents--Puck
what was the first thing the children
Of Israel did after they came through tho
Red Sea- asked Sunday school teach
or u spcct they dried themselves" an
swered a small Philadelphia Record.
I've come 10 tell YOU sir, that the pho
tographs YOU took Of US the other day are
not , at az satisfactory Why my husband
ehould have thought Of that before YOU
had his taken, Rams Horn.
Maude--I noticed a decided coolness be-
tween you and your hance last night
Clara~Oh, then you saw us eating Ice
cream together, aid your
mo. said the new arrival at the tom.
perance botel IL can't understand why all
those sensible men take that foolish
tramp every Sunday morning TO see the |
You'd understand II you went along"
said the wiso guest with a wink THE |
hermit is bartender
You are my picture" cried the roman. |
Tic young man I'm the big black windsor
Then | am your art?' whispered the |
beautiful girl,
"Nes-ycs"
"well, don't You think II would be nice
to be welded to your art?"
Bell-That is a great hotel They viii |
supply YOU with a hammock built for two
every evening
Edtn-Will ey-er-supply you with |
nice young man TO go with The ham
mockY'
He-This Is the ladies' gallery. over |
there Is the mems gallery. Just above |
the speakers desk Is the press gallery, |
She-Oh. yes. And where is the |
rogues' gallery
He--Why--er-the congressman sit |
down there on the main floor. --Balu. |
more Herald.
THAT man, sir. Is one Of the greatest |
figures In the financial world
81 want 20 knOwl'
Yes, sir He's the patentee OF pre- |
digested securities. Detroit Free |
Press
Have you any adjustable under |
wear"
Adjustable
Yes adjustable to this climate
Chicago Tribune.
did you have a good time when you
were away2'
mo. 1t was a terrible bore A wo-
man that my husband used to be en-. |
gagged 20 sat al the same table with |
us.'-Chicago Record Herald.
Sharp Featured Woman No,
haven't anything 10 give TO tramps