The Minneapolis journal., 1903-12-31
THE NONPAREJL MAN

How the sIckIy Of the United States lap
Up -Four Billion Pills a Year from the
Output of q Single city-Awfui Fig
ures on the Phi Industry Of Detroiti
Mich.-Judse Farmer Of Spring VAL
ley Tells How He Has Lived to Be 30
Without Turning Hair.
Judge J. @. Farmer of Spring Valley,
Mimi, has an interesting article on The
Road to Good Health" printed In the
magazine, Medical Talk. His road is
toll road. He says:
| will be 80 years old ifsI live to the 9TH of
next month. l have lived an active life, en-
gagged in the law business, farming, except thir-
teen years when l was judge OF the tenth ju-
dicial district of Minnesota
Being of d strong constitution and unusually
healthy | readily fell into the habits of most
young men in those days in the of tobacco,
tea and coffee. ] soon contracted dyspepsia,
as most people do who indulge in these habits
of them had cigar in their mouths or big
Quid OF tobacco. and drenched their stomachs
with tea and coffee two or three times day.
Most OF them partook plentifully Of stimulants
of every kind.
l had to learn from experience that medi-
cine cine did me no nc, good and the only salvation
quit the use Of tobacco about twenty-five years
ago; later quit tea and coffee. I have not
entirely recovered from those habits. 1 never
expect to. The penalty will follow me during
| the remainder; of my life, as I believe it viii
every who follows these vicious habits.
| Judge Farmer then goes on to state that
his remedy for disease Is proper food
proper exercise and rest, deep breathing
| and bathing, and honest and cheerful
disposition.
/ Whatever we may think Of these things.
| 1t is quite certain that they never hurt
anybody very much. And the Farmer
Course in Thera peutics is not expensive
as the course which you pay $500 for and
| take by mail. One fault that We find with
| it is that it cuts out a little more work
| for one than the simple taking Of a big
or little pill does.
| But then, you don't know what is in the
| dill, but you do know what is in the
Farmer treatment.
| Speaking of the pills, do you know that
we as a nation lap up pills like lit
tie George working his way thru >. hunk
/ of gingerbread? It is solemn and most,
most serious fact
! Detroit, Mich alone makes 100 varie
ties of pills. She is the worlds most pro-
life, tireless and versatile producer of
pills. She sends forth these pellets Of
| health. or of disease, as you happen to
feel about it, at the rate of 166 tons of pills
a month-nearly 1000 tons of pills year.
/ For the things that go into these 100000
| 900 pills every year the whole world is
secured. The costliest Of expeditions are
formed that American pill-eaters may not
starve.
Four billion pills a year, And this the
| output Of but one city, Is 1t surprising
that some Of -us drop dead now and then
\ instead Of living to be so, as Judge Farmer
I has done?
Four billion pills year!! Whittier are
we drifting?
| Div a,1t0- IN
4 would cure badness. The most success
full cure we ever saw was an auto-Wig.
The price of eggs recalls the grocery
store signs at which Bill Nye SHE'D yio-
lently so long ago:
Good eggs 4Oc; eggs, 25c."
| Glass bricks for the construction of glass
| houses are being turned out in Si!esia
4 How would you like to have people stand
I ing around and looking right thru the
4 house when you step on little Georges
81 Christmas locomotive and fall over thes
rocking chair thus rasping off two to four
4 inches of hide? There are moments when
lone wants to be alone.
\ Nineteen hundred and four is leap year,
but that is no excuse for jumping On your
small boy because he looks on the world
thru other eyes than yours.
4 Albert Oette a laborer. who had been
| out Of work for fourteen days on account
of a factory in Berlin being closed, died
from excitement and joy on learning that
he. had won $40 900 in the Prussian lot
terry How would you like to test your
heart action that way?
A Montreal church choir is on strike
Must we listen to a nonunion anthem
without walking out?
Senator Reed Smoot in answer to an
interviewer's questions, has gone on rec
ord as follows:
Certainly. believe there will be polyg-
amy in paradise
| The United States constitution, how
I ever, does not take cogniZance of mans
! opinions of what constitutes paradise.
| A suggestion comes from the courthouse
that on New Years Day-or If that is
too sudden, on Christmas 19O4-the street
railway company should refuse to allow
the conductor to turn in anything at the
end of his trip, but should insist on his
| keeping all the fares himself for good
luck In this way the day might be called
'The Conductors and Motorman's Benefit
Day.. for which a general pean of JOY
| would go up We trust this idea will not
be a shock to the kindly corporation that
trundles us back and forth on its Well
lappointed lines.
One of the ablest business men in New
York, a gentleman who has amassed a
handsome fortune by honest methods,
brags that he takes a drink OF liquor
/ whenever he feels like it and smokes eX-
pensive cigars. For many years it has
been his practice to touch neither liquor
nor tobacco in two months of the year.
March and November, On the first DAY.
i of each he positively, firmly and uncom-
:: promisingly banishes the weed and the
/ blue ruin One who can do that is cas-
lily his own master. But What ABOUT
!. George his hopeful son, the heir OF his
4 ablv earned wealth? We would freely bet
that George smokes cigarettes and that 1t
would seriously sprain him somewhere to
! draw a salary of ten per week outside OF
fathers factory or office. Are we right!
We were much interested in story
from New York of monkey who had
:, learned how to pick out simple melody
ing on the simian intelligence so wonder
fully displayed, G. B. Moses, who had
dropped in to get a look at his home
, paper. the Lilac tMich.3 EEGeewhiz- re-
. | marked that he knew a monkey IN the
Barbados once that played a duo on q
piano. 1t was a piece arranged Tor 1ours
hands, and the monkey, sitting on the
small of his back on high stool. knocked lSs,u
out the upper parts with his hands. Whlie
. he was playing a very neat accompanl-
ment on the bass end of the keyboard with
his feet. -.
Mr.. Moses stopped here to relight MS
cigar and the office force looking at nifls
seriously but intently over their shoulders.
slowly faded out of the excft nge roorr''
the religious editor remarklns piousiS uii-
der his breath as he disappeared: M
| 1>1y "A j,