davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
Autlarans department.
Had a Fixed Income.

A lawyer who formerly practiced his
profession in Georgia, tells in the New
York Telegram this amusing case,
which he once tried in that state. He
was then a, student in the office of his
uncle, Colonel Culver, who figured in
local politics. A "trifling" Negro, Ben
Sutton, had been arrested at the In
stance of his wife, who was tired OF
supporting him and insisted that the
court make him work:
I defended Ben at the instance of
my uncle, who was, am sorry to say,
inclined to curry favor with the COL
ored voter. Ben was on the stand, and
I was examining him.
Now, Ben," 1 said, Amanda de-
clares in her complaint that you don't
give her any money, and
Dat ole woman's always complain
in" interrupted my client.
"Yes, know, but what I want to
ask you is: Are you able to support
her? Have you any income-that Is,
any fixed income?"
Ben looked puzzled. I tried to ex-
plain and told him that fixed income
was an income on which a person
could rely absolutely, not one contin-
gent on odd jobs-in other words,
certainty. My uncle was sitting at my
elbow coaching me, and thought l
was doing right well. Now, tell the
court" 1 concluded, have you fixed
income?"
"Yessah," answered the black scamp.
The answer almost took my breath
away, for had not counted on it.
What" I thundered. You mean to
say that you, Ben Sutton, have a
steady, reliable and fixed income on
which you can absolutely depend?"
"Yessah."
What is it?" 1 gasped in despera-
ton.
"Well, sar, you see," returned Ben,
Colonel Culver, thar, aIays guve me
TO bits an a sack ux flour on ever
lection day."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16

JURIEs In THE OLD DAYs.-In olden
times when jury in England remain
ed impervious to the judges gentle
mode of persuasion fine and imprison-
ment were resorted to. The jury that
acquitted Sir Nicholas Throckmorton
was condemned to eight months i'm
prisonment in addition to the payment
of large sum Of money. In the reign
Of Queen Elizabeth a jury, having re-
duced a prisoners alleged crime of
murder to that Of manslaughter, was
at once sent to prison and bound over
in a large sum to be of good behavior.
Penalties were likewise inflicted upon
the innocent wife and children Of the
offending jurymen. Even now it Is
believed by some legal authorities that
a judge has the right to inflict fine
upon a juryman refusing to obey his
directions. Such power is, however,
not exercised except in the case Of q
Juror absenting himself without JUS
tifiable cause. Of this practice there
is the following story. A judge had
fined a juryman for nonattendance.
On hearing that he had been unable to
be present because Of his wife's funer-
al the Judge, whose wife was said to
be not of a particularly gentle nature,
exclaimed: Has he? That was a
good excuse indeed. 1 wish We all had
the same!"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16

GREAT SALT-CoATBD LAKE.-Proba-
bly, the most remarkable lake in the
world is one with a coating Of salt
that completely conceals the water. 1t
may be seen at any time during the
year, fully exposed, being seen at Its
best where the sun Is shining directly
upon it. This wonderful body Of water
is one of the safest of the salt lakes
and is situated near Obdorsk, Siberia
The lake is nine miles wide and seven
teen long, and within the memory OF
man was entirely rooted over by the
salt deposit. Originally evaporation
played the most prominent part in coat
ing the lake over with salt, but now
the salt springs which surround 1t are
adding to the thickness Of the crust.
In the long ago period evaporation
Of the lakes waters left great salt
crystals on the surface. In course of
time these caked together. Thus the
waters were finally entirely covered.
In 1878 the lake found an underground
outlet into the River Obi, which lower
ed it's surface about three feet.
The salt crust was so thick, however,
that it retained it's old level, and now
presents the curious spectacle Of a salt
rooted lake. The salt coat increases
six inches in thickness every year. The
many islands with which the lake Is
studded are said to act as braces and
to keep the arched salt crust in posi-
Public Ledger.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
Ten Thousand Churches

In the United States have used the
Longrnan & Martinez Pure Paints
Every Church will be given a Ii
beral quantity whenever they paint
Don't pay $1.5o a gallon for Lin
seed oil (worth 60 cents) which
you do when you buy thin paint in
a can with a paint label on it.
$40 make II, therefore when
you want fourteen gallons of paint,
buy only eight gallons of L. &. NJ.
and mix six gallons of pure linseed
oil with it.
You need only four gallons of L:
& M. Paint, and three gallons OF
Oil mixed Herewith to paint good
size house.
Houses painted with these paints
never grow shabby, even after 10
years.
These celebrated paints are sold
by
YORK DRUG STORE, Yor<viIIe, s. c.
w. B. STROUP G. BRO, CIover.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
VISITING the Sick.

Why it is so fey<people understand
how to properly Visit the sick? Not
severe illness, where one has a nurse
and housekeeper provided, but just
those distressing little ailments that
come to all Of us busy wives and moth
ers, compelling us to keep our bed
whether we will or no, leaving no one
but the husband and children In
charge of affairs Who has not been
visited at such a time by neighbor
we'll meaning perhaps, but lacking tact
and sympathy, who comes In, surveys
the untidy room, scrutinizes the bed
and it's occupant, then sinks into
chair and begins a garrulous account
of her mornings work; Of how she
swept and cleaned up stairs and down.
scrubbed the kitchen floor, baked
cake and some pies, whitewashed the
chickencoop, and made a dress for the
baby, not forgetting to add that she
did all of this after having washed and
combed and put clean dresses on the
children? And as you look at your
own little flock standing around for
lorn and desolate because Mamma
is sick, it requires all your Christian
patience and fortitude to keep your
thoughts to yourself. Then, after
having talked you into fever Of un-
rest, she goes without having lifted a
finger to tighten your load. Sisters,
let us be more careful in this matter;
let us follow more closely the example
Of Him who was ever ready and will
ing to render aid unto the sick and suf-
fering, and who never entered home
without leaving sweet peace resting
there. Let us, when we are visiting a
home where there is sorrow of suffer-
ing, show our sympathy and good will
by our works. Let us do with our
might what our hands find to do; so
shall it be said Of us as the one in old
en- time, "She hath done what she
could."-F. E. Buckner.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16

run with such q long neck as that to
carry? And. besides. have heard that
to win a race one must hump himself,
and my camel is just the one for that.
Don't you see his hump?" said he as he
nearly slid off when the camel moved.
Jumbo smiled. He knew a thing or
two. The starting word was given.
Down the race course they came at
full speed. Mr.. Camel was humping
himself bravely. Mr.. Giraffe putting
loudly. All the animals cheered. When
they reached the last lap Mr.. Camel
was ahead. Mumbo grinned with Joy.
II shall win. sure" he cried. 81 knew
It," But just as they reached the tape
Mr.. Giraffe stretched out his long neck
stuck out his long tongue, touched the
tape first and won the race.
Jumbo winsr' cried the judge.
"'Tain't fair" whined Mumbo. II
never thought Of his neck"
1T Is best to keep your eyes open"
cried the crowd.
think they told the truth. Don't
you?- Pittsburg Dispatch.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
RICH OR POOR.

T AM very sorry indeed not to be
l. smart enough to tell some folks
how long they will live, or whether
they will die rich or poor, as they seem
to expect. One thing I feel safe in as
serting, If you trade with good judg-
ment and use me for your trumpet, you
will grow rich, and If your conscience
Is clear you should live long and die
happy. I have plenty Of money maxi
ing property for sale, and solicit your
business, buying or selling. 1t Is
not a question Of how much a broker
costs, but should be how much do you
clear by using him. I often do business
quick for clients that they are unable
to do themselves. Propositions are
the essential factors to success In bus
mess. Let the world know what you
want or have to offer, and you will
find others ready to relieve you of
your pleasures or troubles. In order to
convince you that I mean business and
do business, read a few specimens of
my testimonials, and come to my
Home Office at IL o'clock noon, on
Wednesday the 21st instant, and tell
the auctioneer how much the follow
ing property is worth to you.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16

To Bishop Potter is telling story for
after dinner purposes on an Irish cook
who once served in his family.
"One day heard this cook swearing
at a great rate at an Italian gardener
We had and rebuked her for it.
but, yer riverince,' she said, he is
nothin' but an ole Dago, anyway
"'You should not speak that way of
an Italian I protested. You know
that your pope is a Dago, as you call
them, and you consider him, infallible
Yes, 1 know that she answered
And as a Dago he is infallible, but if
he were an Irishman he would be twice
as infallible"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16

5S A Philadelphia schoolmistress was
giving her pupils instruction in the
elements of physiology, and among
other things, told them that whenever
they moved an arm or leg it was in
response to message from the brain.
The brain always sends a message
to your arm or your leg whenever
you wish to move the particular mem
ber," she explained.
At last a mischievous boy aroused
her anger by his apparent inattention
to the lesson.
Hold out your hand!" she exclaim-
ed.
The boy did not move.
why don't you hold out your hand?"
said the teacher.
I'm waiting for the message from
my BRAIN" said the lad.-Philadelphia
Ledger.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16

BEAUTY SKIN DEEP.-Two friends,
Pat and Mike, happened to pass on op-
posite sides of the street one day.
Mike had lady with him. On cross
ing over to greet Pat the following
conversation took place:
How are you, Mike?"
Fair Pat. How's yourself?"
Fair to middling. That's a homely
old woman we've got with ye, Mike"
''Arrah, Pat, that's my wife, and ye've
heard the saying that beauty is only
skin Deep"
"Begorrah, Mike, take her home and
skin her at once"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
TO WoULD.BE SETTLERS.
A Strip of Land Strewn With Skele'
tons of Prosecutors.

tons Of Prospectors.
On June Is. 1903, one million acres
Of land in California were thrown open
to entry. This may be taken up eth
er under the Desert Land act or as
homesteads in 10-acre tracts. The
strip stretches from Mojave to the
Colorado river.
We wish to warn all intending set
tiers to let this land alone. There Is
a good deal of talk about making the
desert blossom as the rose" Some
deserts blossom, but not this one. Mo-
body will ever do more for this des-
ert than mother nature has done. Phe
only blooming nature has brought
about there is that its freckled bosom
blossoms with large alkali pustules, or
pimples, punctuated with sage brush
and cactus. This sums up the flora of
the new promised land. The fauna
includes jack rabbits, horned toads,
lizards, Gila monsters and venomous
snakes. The soil is coarA and gravel,
and on top Of the coarse gravel there
is fine akali powder which, when
the wind blows-s the wind blows
often-sweeps ou4 fthe scorching and
barren land .hIe the dreaded sand
storms of the Sahara, which, by the
way, they much resemble. Even far
to the southwest, across the lofty
mountain ranges, these desert sand
storms sometimes sweep, reaching the
favored dwellers in Southern Califor-
mia in the midst of their orange groves.
Even this distant touch Of the desert
winds causes trees to whittier, grass
to scorch and men and animals to suf-
fer keenly. Over this dreadful desert
the sun moves like ball Of fire across
a sky Of brass. Rarely does cloud
break the intensity of its pitiless rays.
Those credulous persons who may
believe that this is the kind Of desert
which, by irrigation, may be turned
into a garden are doomed to disap-
pointment. There is no water on this
desert strip. The waters Of the Colo
RADIO may be led on the lands OF the
Yuma desert, but that Is far lower
in level than are these. Much Of this
Mojave strip is at an elevation of two
or three thousand feet. AS for arte-
sian water the writer personally
knows of one we'll which was bored
for nearly two thousand feet, ending
in igneous rock and producing nothing
but profanity.
The last hope for the settler on this
barren land would be the discovery OF
the precious metals. There may exist
there. We do not say they cannot be
found. But we know that the land
has been prospected by experienced
miners for half a century. If ten
derfoot can find a gold mine where an
old California miner fails he Is a
smart tenderfoot. But we doubt his
success.
We warn all eastern people not to
be deluded by false, even If we'll mean
ing representations concerning this
strip of land between Mojave and the
Colorado river. 1t is strewn with the
skeletons of prospectors, the bones Of
animals. 1t Is place Of skulls.-San
Francisco Argonaut.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
TAX coLLECTIoNs-l9O3.

YoRKv1LLE, s. c., Sept. is, 1903.
IN accordance with the law, my books
l. will be opened on the 18TH DAY OF
OCTOBER, 1903, for the collection OF
STATE, COUNTY AND SPECIAL
TAXES for the fiscal year commencing
January 1st, 1903, and will be kept
open UNTIL DECEMBER 31ST, 1903,
without penalty, after which day ONE
PER CENT penalty will be added for
all payments made in the month Of
JANUARY, TWO PER CENT penalty
on all payments made during the month
of FEBRUARY, and SEVEN PER
CENT penalty for payments from the
1ST DAY OF MARCH TO THE 18TH
DAY OF MARCH, after which date all
taxes not paid will go into execution
and be placed In the hands Of the sher-
iff for collection.
For the convenience of tax payers I
will meet them at the following places
on the dates named:
At Yorkville, Thursday, Friday and
Saturday, the 18th, 18th and 18th days
Of October.
At Bethany, Monday, the 18th day Of
October.
At Smyrna, Tuesday, the Goth day
Of October.
At Sharon. Wednesday, the 21st day
Of October.
At Bullocks Creek, Thursday, the
22nd day Of October.
At McConnellsville, Friday, the 23rd
day Of October.
At Ogden, Saturday, the Gath day of
October.
At Bethel. Monday. the 26th day Of
October.
At Yorkville, Tuesday, the 9th day
of October.
At Forest Hill, Wednesday. the 2sth
| 5ay of October
At Newport, Thursday, the 2sth day
Of October.
At Tirzah, Friday, the 30th day Of
October.
At Yorkville, Saturday, the S1st day
Of October. and Monday and Tuesday,
the End and 3rd days Of November.
At Hickory Grove. Wednesday and
| vember.
At Glover, Friday and Saturday, the
9Th and 7th days of November.
At Coates's Tavern, Monday, the 9th
day Of November, from IL o'clock M,
until o'clock A. M, Tuesday. the 10th
lay of November.
| At Fort Mill, Wednesday and Thurs
lay. the 18th and 18th days of Novem-
| Der.
At Yorkville, Friday, the 18th day Of
November, until Saturday, the 28th
| day Of November.
At Rock Hill, Monday. the 30th day
Of November, until Tuesday, the 9Th
| day of December.
At Yorkville, Wednesday, the 9th day
of December until Thursday, the 31st
| Jay Of December, 1903, and after this
day my office will be kept open for the
collection of taxes with PENALTIES
ATTACHED until the 18th day Of
March, 1904.
Also during the collection Of regular
taxes up to the 1st day Of March, I
will receive VOLUNTARY PAY
MENTS OF COMMUTATION ROAD
TAXES for the year 1904.
H. A. D. NEELY, County Treasurer.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16

ROUGH ON THE WIDow.-Telephone
mistakes may have their serious sides,
says the New Yorker. A man who
wanted to communicate with another
named Jones looked in the directory
and then called up a number. Pres
emily came through the receiver a
short feminine "Hello!" and he asked.
Who is that?"
This is Mrs. Jones'"
Have you any idea where your hus-
band is?"
He couldn't understand why she
rang Off so sharply until he looked
in the book again and discovered that
he had called up. the residence Of a
widow.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
How much?" she asked, pointing to

How much?" she asked, pointing to
the asters.
How much?" repeated the old wo-
man in charge. Three cents!"
All the radiance vanished from her
face as quickly as it had come, and her
disappointment was so keen that even
the old flower woman perceived it. AS
she turned to go, the flower woman
said:
"Oi have wan here in the back for
wan cent, If yez want it,"
She held out blossom which to the
observer seemed every bit as large and
bright as any Of the others. The smile
came back to the tired face Of the wo-
man as she paid her penny. took the
purple aster, and hastened away.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16

STARTLING THEoRY.-"Did I under
stand you to say" inquired the tourist
with the eyeglasses, that this volcano
was in a continuous state Of eruption
until about forty years ago. when it
stopped SUDDENLY" according to the
Chicago Tribune.
Yes, sir" said the guide. That's
right"
And it has never had an eruption
since?"
Mary 'ruption."
rs there-aw-any theory to account
for it's sudden suspension Of activity"'
Yes, SIR rejoined the guide, the
clear light Of truth shining in his hon
est eyes. "A man out here got out an
injunction against it one day, an the
case is still in the courts"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA,
County Of York.

IN THE COURT OF COMMON PLEAS.
Jonas Schiff and Louis N. Schiff.
Plaintiffs against Samuel Quinn,
Walker Quinn and J. H. Emery, De-
PENDANTS. for Relief
Complaint not Served.
To the Defendants Samuel Quinn,
Walker Quinn and j. H. Emery:
VOU are hereby summoned and re-
l. quired to answer the complaint in
this action, which is this day filed in
the Office of the Clerk Of the Court Of
Common Pleas, for the said County,
and to serve copy of your answer to
the said complaint on the subscribers
at their Office in Yorkville, 8. c., with
in twenty days after the service here
Of; exclusive Of the day Of such SER
vice; and If you fail to answer the
complaint within the time aforesaid,
the plaintiffs in this action will apply
to the Court for the relief demanded
in the complaint.
Yorkville, s. c.. October 5th, A. D.,
1903.
McDOW & LEWIS,
Plaintiffs Attorney.
Oct. 8-Nov. 13 + Ct
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16

HE LOST OUT-They had been trot-
ting in double harness for only three
short months when the young wife be-
gan to work the Interrogation point.
George, dear she said, when you
proposed to me did you think 1 would
accept?"
No" replied the truthful George,
Ito be honest about it, l really didn't
think you would the first time"
1.-The second?" inquired her ladyship.
"Once was my limit" answered the
victim of a mistaken theory.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
j. j. KELLER & CO..
CONTRACTORS AND BUILDERS.
HEADQUARTERS
FOR PAINTS.
We Garry Everything and Do
Jobs Complete.

d ULL line of JOHN MASURY &
IL SONS Prepared and Paste Paint;
also Oils, Varnish, Floor Paints, Tur-
pentine and Dryers.
Where the customer prefers it, we
furnish LEWIS'S PURE WHITE
LEAD, the very best manufactured In
the United States or elsewhere.
We make prices on large or small
bills Of raw material, and we furnish
estimates at which we will give COM
plete jobs Of Painting.
All the materials We sell are fully
guaranteed by the manufacturers.
Now Is the time to see about Paint
ing. J. J. KELLER & CO.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
TO DEBTORS AND CREDITORS.

A LII persons indebted to the estate
"A Of JOHN HAMEL, deceased, are
hereby notified to make settlement at
once. All persons having claims
against said estate are requested to
present them to the undersigned, duly
authenticated, within the time pre-
scribed by law.
NJ. L. THOMASSON,
MARY IDA HAMEL,
Executors.
Oct. 9 st
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
PAY UP.

n WING to the recent death Of Mr..
OE. B. Beard, Of our firm, 1t has be-
come necessary that our business be
settled without delay. This applies
to all manner Of accounts now due and
owing, or which may mature hereaf-
ter BEARD & CARROLL.
Oct. 2 rs II
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16

AZ Auntie Ito little Tommy, who has
Just returned from his first day at
schooD-What did you learn?
Tommy-Didn't learn anything.
Auntie-What did you do?
Tommy-Didn't do anything. There
was a woman there who wanted to
know how to spell cat" and l told
her.-Philadelphia Telegram.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
ANECDOTES OF REVOLUTION.
American Patriots Wore Both Brave
and Courteous.

On the occasion Of a military sxpedl .
ton in the neighborhood of New York
ir 177S, undertaken by the American
Colonel Webb, this officer and several
of his party were captured. Arlons
the prisoners was a Connecticut fifer-
boy, fifteen years old. Colonel webb
having been carried before General
Howe the boy followed him to the
presence Of the general.
who are you?" asked Howe, as his
eye fell on the boy.
81 am one Of King Hancock's men,
replied the lad, unabashed.
Can you fight?" next inquired the
general.
Yes, sir, can."
Howe sent for one Of his fifers, who
was of about the same age as the boy
and when he made his appearance ask
ed the staunch young patriot whether
he would dare to fight the newcomer
Yes, sir" was the prompt answer
With that the Connecticut lad strip
ped for the fray, came to close quar-
ters with the English fifer-boy, and
proceeded to pummel him with SO
much vim and good will that the BY
ISLANDERS were compelled to interfere to
save the victim from being hurt. Howe
was so satisfied with his manly con-
duct that he ordered him to be re-
leased.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16

On my large office bulletin, 63 It.
long by 6 IT. high, you will find list
of a part of my offerings. All of which
are for sale at your price, If it Is such
as the owners can stand at all. I can't
expect to sell property without offers.
Customers often get property by MAX
ing offers when they don't expect 1t.
1 am a seller first, last and all the time.
If you don't believe it open your mouth
personally, or by wire or letter and see
what falls to you.
]. EDGAR PoAG, Broker.
Rock Hill, S. c.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-10-16
WANTED

~ REEN and Dry Hides. You get
" more for them Green than you
can get after drying. Cut and SCARED
cuts prices down.
w. H. HERNDON.
Sept. II. f2m.