The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-05-16

times come; won't stand 1T. young onea
or no young ones. I'll have divorce,
and II the neighbors wan. to blab them
selves hoarse about 1t. they can. for
won't stand II another day"
but what's the matter2 Don't yout
husband provide for you? Don't he treat
you kindly?" pursued the Mayor.
We get ylctuals enough. and I don't
know but he's ms true and kind as men
In general, and he's never Knocked any OF
us down. wish he had: then Id get
him into jail and know where he was OF
nights" retorted the woman.
Then what Is your complaint against
him7''
Well. II you must know, he's one OF
them plaguey jners."
"A swhat7"
"A jiner-one OF Thorn pesky fools that's
always lining something There can't
nothing come along that's dark and sly
and hidden but he lines It. If anybody
down, he'd jine 1t Just as soon as he could
get IN; and II he had to pay for 1t he'd
so all the suddener. we hadn't been
married more'n two months before he jim
Cd the Know Nothn's. We lived on
farm then, and every Saturday night he'd
come tearing IN before supper, grab a
fistful OF nut cakes and go or Enawing
them. and that's tho last I'd see OF him
till morning. And every other night he'd
roll and tumble In his bed. and boiler In
his sleep. Put mono but Americans on
guard-George Washington and rainy
days he would go out In the corn-barn
and jab Mt a picture of King George with
an old bngnet that was there. / ought
to put my foot down then, but he fooled
me so with his lies that let him go on
and encouraged him in It.,
Then he lined the Masons. P'raps
you know what them be- but don't, cept
they think they are the same kind Of
critters that built Solomon's temple; and
OF all the nonsense and CAB about wor-
shipful master and square and conpassoa
and sich like that we had In the house
for the next six months, you never SEQ
the beat. And he's never putgrowed II,
nuther. What do you think OF man,
squire, thatll dress himself in a white
apron. bout big enough for monkeys
bib. and go marching up and down and
making motions and talking foolish lin.
go at n picture OF George Washington In
n green jacket and an apron covered over
with eyes and columns and other queer
pictures Amt he loonytick? Well
that's my Sam. and I've stood 1t as long
as I'm goin to.
THE next loung the old fool made was
into the Odd-Fellows. I made It warm
for him when he came home and told mo
me by telling me they are n sort OF branch
show that took In women, and he'd get
me In as soon as ne found out how to do
It. Well, one night he come home and
said I'd been proposed. and somebody had
black balled mo Did IL himself, OF
course. Didn't want mo around knowing
about his golngs en-. OF course he didn't
and I told him so.
"Thon he lined the Sons OF Matter.
Didn't gay nothing to me about 1t. but
sneakcd OF one night. pretendin he'd so
to sit up with n sick Odd Fellow. and
never found 1t out. only he come homo
lookin' like a man who had been through
thrashing machine. and I wouldn't do
n thing for him until he owned up. And
SO It's gone from bad to wis. jinin this
and that and tothcr, TIL he's worship
minister Of the Masons. and goodness OF
hope OF tho Odd Fellows. and sword swnl-
lower OF the Finnegans. and virgin cerus
OF the Grange. and grand Mogul OF tho
Sons OF Incidence. and two-edged toma-
hawk OF the United Order Of Red Men.
and tale-tearer OF the Mercifnl Manikins.
and Skipper Of the Guile -Caratrine Col
unibus, and big wizard OF the Arabian
Nights. and pledge pnsser OF the Reform
club. and chief bulgcr OF the Irish Me-
chanics, and purse keeper OF the Order
OF Canadian Conscience, and double-bar-
relied dictator Of the Knights OF the
Brass Circles and standard bearer OF tho
Royal Archangels. and sublime porte OF IA
the Onion League. and chief butler OF tho
Celestial Cherubs and puissant potentnto
of the Fortified fPollywoGs, and goodness
only knows what else I've borne 1t. and
borne 1t hopiu he'd get 'em all jincd after
awhile, but 'tant no use. and when he'd
got into new ono, and been made grand
guide OF the Nights Of Horror. told him
I'd quit and VIII.
Hero the Mayor Interrupted. saying:
'.Well your husband Is pretty well
Initiated. that's fact; but the court will
hardly call that a good cause for divorce.
The most OF the society you mention are
composed OF honorable men with excel
lent regulations Many OF them though
called lodges, are relief associations and
mutual Insurance companies, wh'ch, u
your husband should die. would take care
OF YOU and would not see you suffer II
You were sick. (
..see me suffer when I'm sick! Take
care OF me when he's dead! We'll,
guess not; can take care Of myself when
he's dead, II can't get another! iheres
plenty Of EN-! And they needn't nother
themselves when l am sick, either !.
want to be sick and suffer It's none ol
their business. especially after an mo
suffering I've had when l any s,oh' w, uu
cause OF their carryin's on. ana YOU
needn't try to make me believe II az
right either. / know what 1t is to llya
with n man that lines 80 many iodsea
that he don't never lodge at nome.
"Oh, that's harmless amusement
quietly remarked the Mayor.
She looked him square IN the eyes az"
said. ~ believe you are jiner yourself"
He admitted that he was to certain
extent, and she arose and said: u woula
not have thought It. A man IKE y ,.
chairman of Sabbath schoo, l,san,
enough to make woman take ,, pse"
Ant don't want anything of you.
want a lawyer that don't belong 70 NJ
body or nothin'" And she po.,su mat
Of the office to hunt up man
wasn't jner,
E. H. HARTMAN HAS a