The Vinita weekly chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1902-1905, 1903-11-19
HE LIKES HoUsEcLEANIEG.
rhiiosoDhie Male Human who FInds
Comfort In a Cataciysmic Com
dition of Things.

that we are cleaning house Men
usually take refuge In the club or In
the cigar store on the corner during
housecleanlng time. but ! always rush
home and enjoy the operation Inn
mensoly. | cannot understand why
men dislike housecleanlng. To me Il
is the happiest period of the whole
year, writes q funny genius in the
Chicago Tribune
In the first place. housecleaning time
gives me an opportunity OF becoming
acquainted with my family. At other
seasons OF the year my daughters are
always In the parlor after dinner with
Two or three callow youths who sit out
on the stairs and smoke cirgarettes
after have gone TO bed and who
make night truly hideous by roaring
In unison a song about the good old
summer time" or about Sunshine will
come again, sweetheart, dear" or
words 10 that effect. But az house
cleaning time the callow youths are
banished. The piano is securely locked
by the 300 odd books that repose on
Its top. The chairs are all at the up
holsterer's, being resulted for the next
seasons campaign. and my daughters.
instead Of being logged out in deeollete
dresses and sitting around engaged In
frivolous conversation, are out In the
ene room we have left--the kitchen
talking 10 me. They have on old calico
wrappers and towels around their
heads. but they look real good to me.
and we have delightful times eating
dinner OF the top Of an old dry goods
box. beautifully draped in the morninR
newspapers.
During housecleaning time. too. I
get rid Of so many things Of which II
would otherwise be impossible for me
TO divest myself Only this morning
] succeeded in dropping a patent coffee
pot into bucket OF scrub water. and
the man who gets paid for whIstllng.
Won't You Come Home. Bill Baiiey?"
around my home during housecleanlne
time, while he keeps time to the music
with mop carried IL away and emp
tied II In the alley. Yesterday put
patent stew pan in which they used
10 cook "Healthlna." and "Chewa-
sponga." into bucket Of whltewash
and II was never seen again. n house.
cleaning this year only lasts long
enough am certain that can get rid
OF that yowling kitten that my wife
has taken such fancy TO. am now
celebrating as 10 whether the kitten
shall disappear via the scrub bucket
or the whitewash pail
Housecleanlng is also Invaluable for
bringing out the latent originality that
there Is In a man. Only this year |
have invented a fine settee out OF a
trunk and two Turkish rugs. made
really creditable candelebra. too. out
OF three empty beer bottles tied to-
gether with twine of grocery packages.
When the candles are inserted In my
candelehra and lighted the effect Is
truly beautiful.
Another great thing about house
cleaning Is that Il develops a mans
muscles. and II It only lasted long
enough I am sure that before our
houseclesning was ended each year
would become a physical marvel. 1
have tried a great many OF the cor
respondence schools for muscular de-
velopment and gone to all the profess
sors who stand with one arm raised
glaring sternly ut their blceps muscle.
which looks as though It had the
mumps. None Of them did me much
good. and never could go TO any OF
them more than two or three times.
But houseeleanlng is great for the true
physical development. II we were to
clean house every week know that IN
two months time I would stop Jim
Jeffries or Tom sharkey or any other
prize fighter In less than six rounds
Beating the carpet IS a Job most
men dislike, but IT'S fine for the blceps.
Travelling back and forth on the stairs |
gives great nexibliity TO the knees
downstairs with the parlor |
lamn Is good for getting ones self used |
20 hard punishment for | know that
Champion Jim Jeffries In his happiest |
moment could never give me such q
knockout wallop on the Jaw nc that
ihtHp Nu'h Wutu tFeFtb counter WIN |
my right ard keen II from kicking me
below the belt Walking along the hali |
with a large picture OF my wife's be-
loved mother when Young girl and /
tripping over a dish pan full Of suds
also trains me how TO fall easily and
gracefully. and am praetiolng now
how to tumble so that my left foot
VIII accidentally 20 through the can
vas.
like housecleaning. too. because
then | am allowed a full measure OF
liberty | can irapse around the house
after dinner In my old plaid trousers
hat I wore IN bachelor dnys. and
which at other times cause riot In
he family whenever lhoy are brought
Iorth. can leave my collar on and
throw my coat under the sofa can
knock my pipe ashes into the Dresden
shina vase and put my slippers IN
he soup tureen. can pile ell the sofa
pillows In one corner Of the dining
.n.rn and falf lila a Ttt@lsfah e.sf,....