davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

NJ len at nave boon more careful In let
INK Door, unprotected women rush
headong TO dcstruction.ast
On tho other hand.8If woman secs 4
man harvesting the fruits OF good In
gycstment with which she has no con
nection, she secretly hates him for hay
ing kept her out OF 1t. Even though he is
nit d casun acquaintance OF hers, she
cannot suppress the belief that 1t was
Gas little as he could do to drop her..n
line and let her know about IT. espe cially
MS It wouldn't have cost him anything
The fact that 1.-The fortunate investment
wns overwhelmingly hazardous cuts no fig-
Eure with the woman. She has always
6thought--and always will thlnk-that the
stock markets should DO 80 arranged that
come what fluctuations may, the Invest
ments OF women should stand rock-like
on an immutablc eight or ten per cent.
basis. 81. ..l. f,if II s2
And maybe It would be Just az we'll II
some such arrangement could be entered
into, Let alone the mental anguish 1t
would save their confidential advisers It
would Indirectly help many a man. For
be II known, no matter how prudent a
woman may be. I'VE uns' generally get
her money sooner or later While her Ia w
yer or adviser Is sweltering In fiery
furnace. the self-same critter that roasts
him n is giving her all to some worthless
shiiy-shally husband. son or brother. But
this shilly-shally class. alas, never come
In for criticism or ccnsure. f
II the good die young It Is because me
women show them no mercy. TO be loved
by n woman one must be Incapable .nf
making n living for himself or family
That ignominious manikin who knows
how to turn an ice cream freezer or to drive
carpet tacks. but who finds himself IN
capable OF earning more than sl2 week.
il sure to command the respect and adora-
ton OF all5the mouse-fearers in his house
hold.
On the other hand, the superb. bald
headed type who has people begging
4 him to accept 5000 jobs. and who sup-
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

A ports ali the poor relations In the family,
is in luck II he gets so much as an emf
broidered homemade cravnt when Christ
fns comes. It Is he whom all the pesky
women folks consult about the stock mar
ket--ho whom they excoriate when their
cash goes down rat-hole. They rush to
him with a sudden idea that It would DO
the part OF wisdom to sell their Ameri-
can Tobacco stock at 145 and Invest IN
lettering United States Steel at 20, thereby
leapinp into wealth and ease by the mere
stroke OF a pom And when he sarcasti-
caliy hints that II there were anything
In the scheme, some OF tho little inno-
cents on Wall Street would have discov-
cred It. they resent his warning with
feeling OF bitterness. And woe betide the
cautious soul II the Investment suggest
al nv the women actually does turn out
TO DO a good one! Then-in her mind
she charges UP against him what they
might have made.
AS a matter OF fact. too women are
~ no means SO stupid In the matter OF
business as some might SUPPOSE. When
they have ultimately outbossed all the
menfolks in the family. they smut tieir
eyes Dust as they do when they shooe
r,,n) and make financial plunges Whlch
are horrfying to the stronger SEX Yet
nine times out OF ten these investments
are pre- -e1ninently successful. IA
And It must not be understood from
what have said that I do not ,kneel IN
tadoration at the small feet OF Che; sex
whose i'd iosycrasies have described. Any An
rich widow or well-heeled spinster can
tell you that there is always on hand a
horde OF men who are more than anxious
to help them take care OF their cash. IN
deed. I wish some whimsical olo tn ni'ns'
with bags Of gold. would adopt me- me-
As my typewriting machine Is both
soy and 'caprlcious in the matter OF spell
Ing. and shows the utmost contempt for
everything connected with the dictionary
Iihave recently sought to find some me con 4
solatory presidents for my erratlc ortho-
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

shine that way, no calm; nothing but
unrest, nothing but hell,
We'll, after Jonah got ashore again and
found out thai, do what he might, no cou' q
not get away from the Lord, he went
down To Nineyah and preached the SER
mon that he had boon commanded to
preach,
At last he had done his duty. II he had
done II at first he would have been
spared great deal Of trouble.
It does not pay to ATTEMPT to shlrk ones
duty. Even from the viewpoint Of per-
sonal comfort, 1t Is a great deal better
~ 90 about the work that Is laid upon
Won cheerfully and speedily, for sooner Or
far vo,, will have to do It, anyway, and
4 he sooner YOU do It. and the more
gracefully you do It, the easier and han
pier time you will have
Dutv vii, be obeyed. That is the great
no,nt of the story of Jonah, The soyer-
e,Rntv Of God-the supremacy Of the
mor,I ,aw-that is what the author Of
the story wishes to bring out
Wbenlthe sailors found out that Jonah
,a : no cause of the storm that was
t,reatan,nr their lives and cargo they
nnceremo nlously tossed him overheard.
Thav werc through With him, and whether
10 sank Or swan made no difference to
them,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

de- explosion gauge from backing up to
dc tank. for den de only danger OF
back draught will be minimized.
'Is dat 'all7".I says.
"Dat is all, while running on a level:
but for hill climbing. and Goa sting ana
stopping and starting, and going SLOW, Or or,
fast dere Is a few stunts dat IS per-
formed By dis battery OF levers anu
cocks and screws and out-offs and raw
Gets, which you reach by, raising IN !, ds 3
saddle. and controlling De ha a 4 %
VI Us Ut il Wort st while bordering wit?' !
e2Ey Part is fes ae 5as who @
on de ground and gives simple ord "a 81 ~
one syllable woids. he has hard tasH'
indeed, !" says MI. Paul: ~, ~, .,ve
sailly3wit Duchess, and was Willis
for him t. have nice easy }o1 K T,s aa a. a
can to ride it Don't you want to t r;
q course n.2 yoq u Is ri af5aIa III
ne IN dat way wsy T. had 10 draw cards
and look cheerful-as cheerful as J. couid.
rubbering around. to see what woI! la
happen, and Maggie, de house maid 81 sh Q
whispers to me- Did Want her 70 tot ,a ad
any message " lJuS!ASoo tOSAoAo 49,
De oachmans kid asks me, Would dey
wake me on de premises or on de DOW,
cry; cause he'd never seen wake, ana
wanted to know. Housekeeper told me
dat her uncle was bone -setter ana
would do a Job for any friend OF hers
at half price, and butler says to 2me.i on
| do sly. dat cousin OF hsLshad lSllved
| tree days wit broken neck, and had
his pictures In al! de papers; but was
| never we'll enough before he died to
see, de .papes. what was a great sorrow
n v. d. T. u &.
' When shuffter found out dat he wasn't
to be asked to ride It, he got friendly,
and helped Mr.. Paul to hold dc ting up
straight. while got on. and Mr. Paul did
tinRs to Its inside. 3ss
Just den Duchess comes out TO see
what was de circus; and she says dat 1t
| was foolish for to start me on de grounds:
dat de way to do was to take de machine
out on de old Post Road In front OF de
| place, and head 1t for Boston, for I'd al
| ways been crolsy to soc Boston. r q
/ ";"On you way, woman!" says, do
.you fspose dat / could see Boston Il got
| dere OF, dis dinky ting?"
~ hut Mr.. Paul says dat It was a good
/ idea, and we trundles de ting out to de
! road. and was put up In de, saddle
| again. Den Mr.. Paul asks mo did re-
member all dat he'd told me about 1t. !,
say "sure," says. Let her Co."
saws 1, for ! was sore on Duchess for
| tippinE OFT de road. wanted to start
| on on de lawn, where I'd had a chance to
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

=. ,nrcars. from nv ,nvcstirn.
s'Ap"s r. Il 49,
uons Hthat tl' t 80 -.
always been pounteous one ana tha'
ITO avorore public school scholar OF the
80 aa,,d Mt somo ~ ,he old
present uay ~ So, a..
time ar 1.t'' . ~ "'us' "ete ~
latter now here on e arth' Nearly al Oh U.s.
whon we find oupelyes going wrong
~, .oothe our sons,t,veness
on ortnosrapi''. u,
with the thought that SHAKESPEARE h'm-.
self. made several stabs at the spelling Of
IL or.,, "a r,e We are also informed that
no w. "lo Vic, 49,, :, ~ (.
Queen Elizabeth,sSro mistress OF elsht
E1angua ges." stood sadly In need OF All
INA hrdued dictionary, since she wrote
-. u''4 % ....,,,,,., so,or a,raron.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23
=. Bly,.
Rev. Thomas Is. Gregory.

sun beat upon the head OF Jonah. that
he tainted, and wished in himself to dle,5
and said: 1t is better for me to die than
to live.
And God said to Jonah; Doest thou
we'll to DO angry for the gourd? And he
said, I do well to be angry, even unto
death.
Then said the Lord, thou hast had pity
on the gourd, for the which thou hast not
labored, neither madest 1t grow; which
came UP In night. and perlshed in
night, And should not spare Nineyeh,,
that great city, wherein are more than
six score thousand persons that cannot
discern between their right hand and
their left hand; and also much cattlef
In all the world there Is nothing more
beautiful than this rebuke from the In
finite kindness OF the Lord to the nar-
row, cruel selhsbness OF the prophet!
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

guage. It frequently occurs in old plays
Shakespeare Uses 1t as follows: II hou art
not 80 long by the head as honorlf !e-f !
Observation-Disclosures Labor 4 Lost.
There Is a Welsh village lin Anglesea,
whose name Is as follows LLanfairp VIII. &
gwynllgogerychwyryn lllandyssil 'og..
ogogoch. Children commence saying this
word in infancy and grow old, before
they finish with the last syllable. It cor u
tains flfty-nine letters, blu In the postal
directory tho first twenty letters only
are given as sufficient address for pra cti.
cal purposes. The word means: no Nc
Church OF st. Mary In a hollow Of white
hazel. near to the rapid whirlpool. and to-
St. Tisllio Church, near to a red cave..3gsFs,
II the words quoted above do not suffice
I have some still longer though It 5Sis
hardly probable that the compositor and
proofreader will care to meet them. a bout
the shortest thing In the way&of a word N
barring the article a. Is the Imperative 1
Of the Latin verb lire" to go. The one
little letter IL, pronounced e" means e', r1a{
60 thou. .i. gl5 st$
In conclusion. let mo confess that there3
Is but ono piece OF sound advice can
offer bad spoilers. have always ollowedE
the rule myself. If your orthogra phyllis
rickety, write illegibly Then you dodss5
mistakes, and in addition get credit for.i
being intellectual. Ell # 5i Z, is f
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

gasps and jolts, and was wondering
~ Great Wok, Chances yells Mr.. Paul,
who was running along side. Remember
de sinter-locking friction cutoff, when de
interjector counter-balance engages wit
I didn't ear no more. Something must
Inter-locked for fair: for all Of sud-
dent / LETT Mr.; Paul Ike he was going
ra ana for az @aoe da puts and VINE
ton into de post hole. It wasn't, SO woIse.
Ali / had to do was to keep her In de
middle of dc road. and pray dat nobody
else would want do same place. A trun
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

something to sniff dat made me sneeze;;
he says, Here, young man, snir dat.
shifts about three fingers Of It. and
It put me to de good, for fair; Zen =
Of dose stone walls dey raises IN our
county: and de biggest piece we 1ouho
was de rubber bulbs OF dc horn.
"I.eave 1t dere..' says Whiskers; and
get UP on de box wit driver, ana CONS
home" he says,
Did YOU ever hear n French goll Jaw?
A cabby underpaid and a star IN a poor
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

OF de carriage top, for I was down and out
Itill7I hears someone say, Why here he
is and dey chucks de hay of me. and
dere was helf de folks In de county rub
boring. s5. y,
God bless my soul, it's Chames!" I
hears Whiskers say, and i says, ~ es, sir,
was you wanting anythlngt slip! i,
Well. dey treats me like was KID
dic;rlifts me down and monkles over nj
to see was broke. and all dat dey, could
find was lump on mo coco as DIE as
your. INST. willy WILDLY was ins de car
riage with Whiskers and she geves me
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

into de shed, and gets TO ,yoik on his rs
vas too busy to know what we wanted.
But Mr.. Paul digs him out. and asks
him had he examined dc bike. and what a
did he tink OF It. Shutter shumps ms
Z licenses to run MODES In French and
English, but dot when 1t come, to run
two-wheeled freak he'd pass de Job up
to Mr.. Paul. So we start worrying de
said dat he remembered all dat de man
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

run down to de beach and drown de ma m
air. Paul he touched match to some
ting. Shutter pumps something else,
twisted all de screws and levers y could
get me hands on. puts me feet on de
on. For a While u 1t was only like riding
"a plain bike. except dat you sits on
beer key, or feel like you do; but pretty e .y
soon tings began to get gay, s,, ana d .nG
smells and choo-choos and gurgles ana
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

Now the word of the Lord came unEEo
Jonah, the son Of Amittal' saytlA} lHIT rv
20 to Ninevehrst that great elty. wy 49, ~ :
against It, for their wickeahess Y 1o'"o
IN before me.-Jonnh !: ~ NJ
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

said who'd sold him de. ting; and we'd
give It trial 1t wasn't built for two.
and i was thinking what ne meant by
I'VE" Ed
"It's like dis" he says. "Dls feed pipe
off is coiied on do 'ciprocati .osc!lator,
when de fuse is detached for pedal power,
and den all you has to do is to turn d De
de- : right controls de sleeve OF dc water
Jacket; den Wit one hand force. dis lever
two notches on de ratchet. and wit do
odder hand, steady de injector to keep
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

! purpose, which purpose WAS - ~
forth certain great ethical truths ana 10
'ucceeded, -.t.,,gf, f,ts1isf, 9
The Book OF Jonah has afforded tIe
world no little amusement. but.Teallly
there is nothing in it to laugh about.
It is not funny, except to the man VINO
loes not understand it.sg3} 5
On the other hand, when road intell'-
yently, 1t is a very serious and very
Jublime. piece of writing-serlous as llfe!-
,uhlime as duty!
The book opens with a command from
1od to the prophet: Go to Nineyeh, that
treat city, and preach against 1t. for
heir wckendess Is come. up before me. :"
There was a duty for Jonah to per-
orm. a duty as clear as the way home;
'Go4to Nineveh and preach against IT,"
But Jonah tried to shrk the duty, He
lid not want to go to Nineveh, and, like
ne foolish man that he was, he ran off
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-23

W educated JeWlsH FTD, VT
tell you that the BOOK o. o.
Jonah was written not 20
teach history, but to eHphus'Nc
q moral, ,., for
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-02-09
Kodol


This famous remedy puts the stomach an1
digestive organs in a healthy CONDITION Sc
that rich, red blood is sent coursing through
the veins and arteries of every muscle. t:c5Ie
and fiber throughout every organ of the Ell
tire body, and by Natures law of health. full
strength and vigor is soon restored to eaca.
Kodol cures indigestion, dyspepsia sn& a.
stomach disorders.
have taken Kodol for nearly two nc .ihs
after each meal and it is the only rcG:~ly
that gave relief from the terrible pains
endured. After time | would take it but
once day. and now while keep bottle
handy, seldom need it, as it has cured me.
MRS. J. w. CooLBAUGH, Milo Center, N. Y.
Kodol Digests What You Eat.
Bottles only. Sl.oo Size holding 2h times the trla
size. which sells for so cents.
Prepared by E. G. Dewitt & CO., CHICAGO
For sale at Opera House Drugstore.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-02-09
Letters fro
Women

Cured by the use of Kodol are received dali,
Their troubles nearly all begin with incige%
ton or other stomach disorder.
If the food you eat fails to give strengt
to your body, it is because the juices Sc
creted by the stomach and digestive organ
are inadequate to TRANSFORMING nutrient prep
critics Of the food into blood. That i
indigestion. The system is deprived OF ~
amount Of nourshnent required to kee? Z
the strength. and the result is that one c
more of the delicate organs gradually grow
weak, and then weaker, until finally it ]:
diseased. Here a great mistake is ma2e
That of treating the diseased organ. Tx
best doctors in the land make this very
mistake. Why should they? 1t is so easy
to see that the trouble is not there.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-02-09

possible MANY a bright faced bride
would shrink from the revelation OF her.
self, stripped of all her loneliness: II
there is one thing which would make
woman shrink from marriage it is to see
the rapid physical deterioration which
comes to SO many wives. The cause Is
generally due to womanly diseases.
Lost health and lost comeliness are
restored by the use of DR.. Pierce's Fa-
yorite Prescription. It cures irregular
ity and dries weakening drains. It
heals Inflammation and liberation, and
cures female weakness.
at Is with the greatest pleasure that tell
vou what Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription and
fGolden Medical Discovery have done for me, "
writes Mrs. Emma L. Bankes, of 1852 North 9TH
Street, Harrisburg, Pa. 'They have done me a
world of good. I had female weakness foT SIX
wears: sometimes would feel so badly did not
know what to do. but found relief at last,
thanks TO Dr. Pierce for his kind advice: have
this medicine still in my house and will always
II You are led to the purchase Of
wFavorite Prescription" because of its
remarkable cures of other women, do
not accept substitute which has none
of these cures to its credit.
Free. DR.. Pierce's Common Sense
Medical Adviser, paper covers, is sent
free on receipt of Fl one-cent stamps
to pay expense of mailing only. Or
for cloth-bound volume send 81 stamps.
Address DR.. R. v. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-02-09
Prepare that Valentine.
Fair tonight and Tuesday.

Fair tonight and Tuesday.
Business was very brisk at the
local wharf today.
Valentines In great quantities,
all new designs at McCoy's Book
Store. 93t
Send In your guesses on the vote
for our next Mayor. Anybody who
has coupon Is entitled to vote
Vote early and often.
Handsome line of Valentines of
all kinds at McCoy's Book Store.
93t.
Miss Lydia Prettyman, of the
composing department of the Oil
Review, returned to the city Satur
day evening from a visit of week
with her parents at St. Marys.
March numbers ofthe Delineator
and Designer on sale at McCoy's
Book Store. 93t
Now is the time to announce
your name If you want to run foT
an Office next month. 1t will soon
be time for the conventions TO be
held.
Mrs. John l.. McKowen, of Cath
crime street, returned to the city this
morning on the II:tS train from a
visit of week with her husband
who Is located at Pittsburg.
Seats on sale at McCoy's Book
Store for the Honolulu Bells, to be
given at the Auditorium Wednes
day and Thursday nights of this
week by the scholars of the City
High School.
The Delineator and Designer,
March numbers, are In and for sale
at McCoy's Book Store. e3t
The Lorena passed this point
Sunday afternoon about q O'Clock
on her way from Plttsburg to
GAINESVILLE, Ohio. The steamer had
on board a large cargo of freight
and a fair list of passengers.
The daughters little Misses Aline
and Margie, of Mr.. and Mrs. R. W.
Mcconnell, of the South Side, came
up from Parkersburg where they are
attending school Saturday and
spent Sunday with their parents.
Saturday, DR.. il. Thistle sold to
Fred Heintzman the small tract of
land lying north of the city known
as the Daniels lot. Mr.. Heintzman
will build q large barn on 1t and
keep his dairy cows there during
the winter so he will be close to
the city where he sells all of his
milk. The consideration Is private.
Charles Algeo has resigned his
position as lineman and inspector
for the Bell telephone company
The vacancy has been supplied by
R. D. Williamson, of Marietta.
He has the reputation of being a
practical man In his line of work
and will move his family to our
city In short time and take up
permanent residence.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-02-09
To Whom it May Concern.

I desire all those who have pur-
chased houses on all property under
my control, to call at my Office at
once and have the necessary
changes In leases made.
2o3t c. THISTLE, ACT.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-02-09
Pay your gas bills.
Tomorrow Is pay day.

Tomorrow Is pay day.
Merchants are beginning to dis
play spring goods.
There was rather a sudden change
last light In the atmosphere.
The Queen City will pass down
tomorrow afternoon for Cincinnati.
Lost-Pocket book and watch,
M. P. J. Reward if left at Dr., V.
II. Dyes residence. $50 tt
Saturday Is St. Valentines day,
and not "Wednesday as the Register
had it this morning.
S. S. F. Ely, Paul Wagner and
A. A McKelvey, o! this city, were
In Wheeling yesterday.
We had all kinds of weather
yesterday, rain, snow, sunshine
and high wind storm.
J. r. McCamey, we'll known
tooldresser Of Peabody, spent Sun
day in the city with friends.
S;eary Adams, superintendent of
the Eureka Pipe Line company,
went to Bloomfield, O., this morn.
Ing.
S. T. Kerr, the popular New
Martinsville photographer, was
calling On relatives and friends In
the city Sunday.
The ladies of the Baptist church
will serve an elegant supper at the
Boyers building on Wells street
Thursday evening.
S S. Fertig, we'll known oil
operator, returned to the city Sat.
urday evening from the Union
town. OHIO, oil field.
George McCamey, who holds
position In the Proctor oil field,
spent Sunday in the city with his
family who resides on north Water
street.
Miss Nellie Wells, of Elizabeth,
w. Va. who has been the charm
Ing guest Of her brother Charles
Wells, of Williamson Place left for
her home this morning.
o.. Hiudman, superintendent
of the Greenlee Oil company, with
headquarters at Warrington, spent
Sunday In the city with his family
who reside on Hill street.
W E Smith. popular salesman
In the general store of VIM, Stealey,
of Wick, returned this morning
from a visit with his parents Mr..
and Mrs. Thos. Smith, of Cheshire,
Ohio.
WANTRD-Experienced canvass.
er 70 represent locally large cor
psration manufacturing reliable
and quick selling specialties. Ad.
dress G W, & F. Co., In care OF
this office. 73t
Messrs. John and Howard Ken
ney, Tom O'Donal and John Sim
liar, four popular and husky drillers
and "toolies", returned to the city
Saturday evening from the Rays
Run. Ohio, oil field, where they
completed a IS barrel we'll for
Guffy & Galley on the farm o
William Wadish. 1t Is Big In
jar producer and IS No5 on the tract.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-02-09
LOCAL NEWS

Annual Clearance sale at E. A.
Nesoitt & Co.'S commencing Feb
ruary 9th and will last until March
1st. All WINTER goods at and
below cost. Packard & Field,
Stetsou and some of ]. 7. Woods
heavy goods. These goods will be
sold regardless OF cost.