Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1903-11-04
Venus AND .A PROFESSOR

LIZ aSV aaakN IL AAHN
You will find the cottage in perfect
order" wrote the Professor; lit has
been newly furnished throughout, and
think I can say that it is furnished
artistically."
Delightful" cried my wife when l
had read so far from the letter IN
which the owner of a seaside cottage
on Long island Sound described the
place we had rented for the season.
Mrs. Rogers told me thai Prof.:
Smith was the best of landlords; and
I'm sure, Herbert, 1t will please you
to 80 into cottage for the summer
that is furnished artisticaily. Most
summer cottages. as we know, are
simply dreadful"
Simply dreadful" though vague.
was understood by me, and l quite
agreed with Mrs. Burton in her esti-
mate of the attractiveness, internally,
of the average summer cottage, and
shared in her delight at the prospect
of something better which was held
,ut' of our new landlords letter. A
Professor" Of course, would have
the proper ideals about art as applied
to household decoration. We were al
ready the subject of envy among our
friends because we were going to the
seaside so early this year, and after
we had gone, about Dragging for a
while about the artistic attractions OF
our cottage this envy amounted to
positive dislike.
What airs those Burtons give
themselves said our neighbors, lit
tie knowing what was ahead of us,
and forgetting the adage that pride
goeth before fall"
The Professor met us at the station
when we arrived at our village. We
gasped when we saw him. "He must
be a Professor of ploughing or hay
ing" whispered my wife. Under his
chin wagged a billy-goat beard, and
he was for all the world the figure. OF
the typical farmer. We later found
out that early in his youth-he was
now about seventy-he had taught in
the village school; and that the title
of professor" had chung to him ever
since. However, nobody could have
been more courteous or kind than the
Professor. He did all he possibly
could to make things pleasant for US,
and his cottage was, as he had prom
lsed, well and newly and comfortably
furnished. But the artistic end OF the
decorations!
"Horrorsw whispered my wife un'
der her breath when her eyes saw
The pictures that hung everywhere on
the walls. There were oil paintings
If a quality that-we!l, they were
what my wife-exclaimed horrors. OH
paintings of dogs heads done in glar.
ing colors, and supposed portraits oil
dead and gone men and women which
make us think that If the originals In
any way resembled them it was well
that they were dead and gone. And
they hung on every available foot OF
the wall. The Professor pointed them
out with pride. and told us the history
of each one. To him, it was plain to
see. they represented the floweriag OF
q perfect art. They were mostly fam
lily portraits. =.
What in the world are we to dc
about them?" asked my wife, when
the Professor departed. "We will be
the laughing stock of all our friends
who visit us, with those objects on
our walls, after all we have saic
about the artistic merits Of our cot
tage."
"Why, we'll take them down." sale
I. But Mrs. Burton demurred to this
She is kind-hearted woman. III
would break the Professors heart te
do that" she said, and 1 think she
was right. So we let them hang.
My wife had, however. one of hel
own pictures with her in her trunk
splendid little photograph OF the
Venus Of Milo, and this she got out
and hung up over her desk in the front
room.
Thank Heavens I brought this,
she said; 'I'll try not to look az the
Others" But, alas, for our good inten
tions, for our desire not to hurt the
Professors feelings!
Venus has caused lot of trouble
in the world, and she brought it intt
our cottage on the Sound. The Pro
fessor was a deacon Of the severe ole
school. He came to the cottage next
day to see if we wanted anything
and his Mortified eyes fell upon oul
Venus. It caused him more alarm
than his ancestral oil paintings hae
caused us. He stood for moment at
though stupefed, while we stared a
him in wonder, and then he made
mad rush for the wall and began tt
take down the portraits Of his grand
parents and other relatives and bur
ried them out Of doors, away IRON
the contagion of the calm Venus!
"My folks can't stay in the same
house with that hussy" he cried
And they did not. He took all hi!
pictures away, and now Venus ha:
the cottage to herself so far as pic
tures are concerned.
'sWell, at any rate" said my wife
"the cottage certainly is artistic now
But the Professor has put US down a.
objects for earnest prayer.