Milford chronicle., 1903-02-13
UMBRELLA DEDUCTIONS.
Human characteristics Shown In the
Ways of Carrying Them.

auman characteristics Shown In the
Ways OF Carrying Them.
The man who sat nearest the window
said he didn't miad the wet weather. 'Tt
gives me a chance to see how people
carry their umbrellas" he said. 'I have
such firm faith in my deductions that ]
wouldn't be afraid to choose a wife with
them for a guide"
The woman on his left smiled.
I'm glad I'm not out there in the
street" she said. you'd be picking out
all the kinks in my disposition along with
the rest of them"
oh" said the man, 81 sized you up a
long time ago. You carry an umbrella,
when it's furled, like that woman across
the street. You grab it in the middle
and so forging ahead with the ends Of
the handle digging into the unfortunate
pedestrians who go before and follow
after"
"And what does that signify?" asked
the woman on the left.
"Alertness, activity, selfshness and in
considerateness."
"Um-m," said the woman.
But just look at the third woman in
the procession" said the man. 81 pity
NAS AANAA 4OlhS dBuuL uEE uOuSe. IL II war
rant they have to get their own break
fast about six mornings out of the seven. |
l never saw yet a woman who dragged
her umbrella along so that you could /
track her by the trail of the tip who
wasn't dilatory and shiftless. She never
sews on a button or darns or mends, and
her breakfast dishes are seldom washed
before O'clock
THAT other woman who is bustling
along holding to the top of the umbrella
handle like grim death and pointing the
top down and forward in a kind of south
by southwesterly direction is altogether
different. She would set the world on
fire if it wasn't waterlogged. 1 am not
sure that I'd want to be married to her
either She'd be too energetic She'd
push everything before her. and when
she took a notion to clean things up a
mere man would have nowhere to lay his
head. What she is good for is serving
on committees.
THAT woman in the gray skirt is a yea
and nay sort of person. She wants to
lgree with everybody and follows wher-
ever led. Women who carry their UNI
brellas with point backward and down.
ward are always unassertive. .
But just look at that girl who spins
llong. swinging her umbrella around in
circle as if it were a magic wand. 1
ike her. She's jolly and good natured
md gets more enjoyment out of life than
en- ordinary people. There's a woman
ARRIVING her umbrella swung over her
hOulder like a shotgun. She's a true
older of fortune and was never known A
o say die. l can't think of anything
hat would feaze her" Il
The man paused.
And what would you say" asked the
roman, about that girl who carries
er umbrella horizontally across the fe
mail of her back and catches either end
Ito the crook of her elbOw?' =
well" admitted the man, "she is a
ew one on me. never met her before. ID
ut | wouldn't be afraid to wager that =,
le is conscientious to a degree and has
heart as big as all outdoors But here" Il
? added comes the most even temper
woman of the lot. She cuddles her
nbrella Drotectingly under her arm as
she doesn't want even it to get hurt
the crowd That woman is gentle and TN
oughtful and kind. kansas City 81"
'urnal.