Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-07-01

Actfess-No; they dared me 70 COINS COINS
back
Wall Street: The most noted II not
the most popular watering place In the
country.-Puck.
Dyer-"Who holds the record In your
automobile clubl" Jack-"shaher. Ne ID.
ran over himself?v- Brooklyn Life.
rom-"Dld she ask you II she were
the only girl you ever lovedg JACK
-"No. She took it for granted
somerville Journal. IL
Lady ito blind MANY poor mdn. 4.
WIT made you blind?" Tramp
Looking for work, ma'am."-Cook
County Jail Journal.
Patron-"what did you say this y,
waiter?" Waiter-'st Strawberry sta..--=
cake, SIR" Patron-.fAiore like.
shortberrles, Isn't itg'
Tie Englishman-"I understand you
Americans elect all your rulers By bal
lot" The American-.'Y es- all but ouS ;,
wives.'''-C Chicago News.
williams. have you named the baby
YETI" almost. We've got the two
grandmothers to agree to arbitrate the
case."-C Chicago Tribune.
A public benefactor: Bromley seems
to be getting rich?" Eyes. He invent
ed collar button chaser that y -
great success Chicago Record Her
aid.
where's your boy going after he
leaves the model school?" To some
school that amt model, l guess, to
learn reading, writing, and figures. ~ II
Judge l%s
Bacon-"Did you understand the Ian
guage when you were in Paris. last
summer?' Egbert-"Well - when -
talked to myself did."-Yonkers
Statesman.
Quite a difference: .what is the DIFF
ference between gown and crea-
tion?" II can't give you the exact
figure. but it's small fortune.
4 Chicago Post. lN
4 The Doctor-"You have bad cold. !,
Mr.. Jiggs. I'll give you some pms
for it," Jiggs Oh, never mind. docssi
tor. You can have it for nothing ii
4 Hazard Lamp0On.
Host-Iy wife is worrying about
there being thirteen at the table to-
night. -Superstitious, Ell? Host
4 No; she has only dozen silver
knives and forks Chicago News.
Percy--'Miss sweetly. do you think
you could be happy with man like
me?" Miss Sweetly-"We perhapa-
II lie wasn't too much like your
Comic Cuts.
victim-.ooo! Phew! You charge
double price for this kind OF SHANE
poo, don't your Barber Yes, Vic.
I tim SO thought. notice that you
are making me suffer twice as much
IN. y. Weekly.
First Citizen-..What do you think
of this idea of an army OF the unem-
ployed marching to Washington
Second CitizenA"That nothing new.
1t happens every four years"-New
York Weekly.
/ Remarkable woman: my wife Is
!, famous cook" Mullins anIibuneed.
proudly. sop responded Barlow, fnss
!, differently. Eyes, SIR She concocts
t sauces that make even health foods
: palatable. Life.
+ Housewife Nina. is dinner not yet
!, ready? We are all starving" Minis
9 (who is reading n novel-''No, dinnee
e Is not ready and 1t won't be until
t find out whether the Llack. knight wins
8 that fair lady or not" ae
Shea well-known writer says that
in order to succeed man must be
/ 85 per cent. backbone" He-"Oh.
{ don't know. A good many who have
: managed to arrive are 95 per cent.
t cheek. Chicago Daily News.
e rs my daughter familiar with the
: great composers? asked Mrs. Cumrox.
e Madame" said the muslc-teacher.
h with a look of desperation. "she is nos
: merely familiar with them; she Is i'm
+ pertinent. Washington Star.
I Seemed to cover it: Architect doubt
fully-..It seems rs If there should b
d something on the top of your house
e when 1t is finished, Mr.. Millionaire"
$ Mr.. Millionaire (meekly)- Might I
e suggest oof!'-Chicago Record Hes.
>, aid.
y Brother, don't you know IL you
: swear at these mules you won't go 70
paradise?'' Eyes, parson; but II
9 don't swear Mt them l won't get to the
{ end of the row, and that's the impor.
tant thing ut Philadelphia
II Record.
= Mrs. stubb-"Let us stop at this
:. hotel, John" Mr.. Stubb-.gThe one
+ down the beach is just as large" Mrs.
- Stubb-"Yes. but this one has pic
ture of the hotel on the stationery that
covers half the envelope. Chicago
Daily News.
Whats the matter? What ure you
shivering about?" demanded the first
Il rabbit. There's n dude out there with
e a gum" replied the other. well, he
e d1esn't see us at all" That's just Il.
'e He's aiming at something else."-Phil.
n adelphia Press.
Re Change: She-You used to sneer al
Is men who parted their hair in the mid
,r die But they don't seem to arouse
D. your contempt any more. He (sndly
r, passing hand over his shining knob
r. No, hive no contempt for any man
IS who has hair enough to part anywhere.
lie Chicago Record Herald.
e Her Last Request.
1t Johns wife was dying, and she had
e. one request to make of him.
# What is 1t, dear" he asked.
20 well, John. 1t is the last thing
n shall ever ask of you. want you to
,e promise that you will ride to the grave
" In the same carriage with mother =
:. Now, John and mother were not
- on very congenial terms, but after
10 hesltating for an instant he made this
- reply:
lr ~ ,,un ~ L..