The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1903-09-04
HOW HE GOT EVEN.

NV name is Peter, but that doesn',
count. His Nibs calls me james and
the missus calls me "Jeems." don
count. anyway, except that l tell the
yss,. They live down in Prairie
avenoo, but l can't tell you where, De-
cause His Nibs don't want the man
around telling family yarns.
His Nibs bought benzine buggy
and that's the way it all started.
He has called the buggy the Roihng
Peanut. 1t goes that way mostly.
Before he got 1.-THE thing one OF ms
nails came over and he said the physical
exam was something fierce.
"Think you can pass it?'' he asked
His Nibs. They're something herce
down at the CITY hall. You amt much
around the chest. You had better go
in for few stunts with the DUMP pells
and the pulley weights"
"Do YOU think SOP" said His Nlbs,
looking kind of dubious like. per
haps l had
E So he rugged up gym in the barn
and took to doing stunts two hours
day. / had to put on the gloves win
him. and we had goes. His Nibs was
easy with the gloves, but of course
co,iidn't hit hard. He worked for
three months during the winter ana
his pal used to come over and feel MS
arms.
'You kind of shy yet" he would
saw. and shake his head. You know
Willie Thompson? Well. they turned
Wullie down fiat. Wouldn't give him
his license at all He couldn't DO
double handsprings."
Then His Nibs would add another
half hour on the stunt, until he got to
spendirg most his time IN the barn,
and his pal brought fellows over to see
him work. Once in awhile, when His
Nibs wasn't looking, they used to
smile like.
Well, His Nibs got to looking like
lightweight ready for weighing IN.
He was as rosy and hard as nail, and
we went down to the city hall. HIS
Nibs tells the man in the electric de-
partment that he wants license ana
he sends him into the health depart.
ment. His pal went along. The TEL
low in the health department looks al
him and then trots out some yarn, vel
low, blue, pink, greer and other
colors, and asks His Nibs to pick the
colors, and His Nibs does.
Then the fellow has His Nibs work
his arms about little, and says:
"You're all right, You amt muscle
bound and YOU amt color blind. Take
this back to the city electrician.
Then His Nibs looks at him and
saws: "Is that all?" and the fellow
saws yes Then His Nibs looks at his
pal, but his pal had gone. His Nibs
swears and goes back to the electric
man and gets his license. AS he went
out he says:
"I'n get even with Percival Archi-
bald yet" He went home and tore
down the pulleys and gave me the
gloves and dumb bells. The fellows
came around after awhile to ask did
he pass the exam. and they had to go
down town. His Nbs said he didn't
think there was enough in the wine
closet.
Well, His Nibs gets the benzinc
buggy, and he asks his pal to have
spin with him, and they sets out, ana
takes me with them. His pal asked il
His Nibs wasn't goin' to have the chat
fur go long, and His Nibs said no, he
could run the buggy fine. We get out
along the pike about five miles from
The nearest horse, and the buggy
balks.
His Nibs gets down and looks under
Il, and so does his pal. Then they both
get In again and give the wheels and
brakes a spin, but it won't go. His
Nibs says:
"well, it's ell off, we'll have TO push
Il in"
"who's going to do the pushing?"
asks his pal.