The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-05-05


We have become so used TO includ-
ing the telephone among the comforts
OF home that It is doubtful now II we
really appreciate all of its advantages.
The telephone is more than an instru-
ment over which to talk TO the butcher
and baker. 1t is a medium sometimes
for furthering treason and strategem
and acquiring spells.
Does a young woman receive a call
from a masculine friend who bores
her 10 extinction and she be ingeni.
GUS, she gives her brother or sister. or,
as legal documents say, her next
friend. look OF entreaty, and directly
he disappears, and almost Immediate
ly the telephone rings and the young
woman is summoned. and comes back
10 say that her grandmother is III In
the next block and she must 20 to her
at once.
When the visitor has departed the
rescued one thanks he: rescuer warm
ly and adds a blessing for the tele-
phone itself. such Is the Intensity OF
her gratitude.
Sometimes the telephone saves the
self-respect OF young men who have
quarreled with their sweethearts. To
go back to pay visit, after he has
flung himself out Of house declaring
he will never darken Its doors again.
would not be consistent with any mas
culine's dignity, but It cannot be con-
sidered as a confession that he was in
error In his premises II he call up tho
young woman who has insulted him
by telephone the next day but one. and
asks her In a voice made carefully
frigid any one Of the following ques-
tons:
Have any books OF yours which
you wish me TO returni
How shall send your letters back,
by mail or by messenger
VIII II incommode you at all II
send to your house tonight for my
copy OF omarf
Did I injure the glass In your front
door when shut II night before lasti
am afraid | used almost too much
emphasis.
Do you still wish me to take you to
the theater, or shall l send you the
tickets and allow you TO select your
own escort?
II the young woman replies with
proper tact. diplomatic relations will
be resumed in a shorter time than II
takes to write all this. for II Is ten to
one the young man is in the drug
store on the nearest corner, although
his voice sounds as far away - tho
polar icebergs.
II is a mighty good thing. by-theby.
that that invention has never been
perfected that was once talked OF and
that was designed TO permit the users
of telephones 10 see each other while
conversing. for not only would this be
inconvenient TO the men who declare
they are in their Offices, when in real
ity they are at the club engaging IN
the great American game. but also
would II be exceedingly disagrecable
TO the youag woman WHO holds con.
versations over the wire with the man
who admires her most with her golden
hair hanging down her back and wear
ing her bathrobe. for such things are.
Imagine the feelings OF the youth
who expects to take a girl into dinner
az 1880 o'clock. when she Is clad like
the lilies Of the field. calling her up an
hour before this time. only 10 behold
her with an aureOle OF curl papers
around her head and a dab Of powder
on her sweet nosei
This Is purely fancy picture, for
curl papers are os much out OF date as
crinoline. and powder went out with
the fashion of wearing the hair In
queues; but, Just for arguments sake.
try to imagine such a contretemps.
Would II not break up many a pron-
,sing affair Of the heart?
To return 10 our mutton. the telc-
phone is a most valuable invention. II
reunites loving hearts and II furnishes
reasons for Jealousy to lovers who
need prodding. and excuses 10 those
who wish TO get away from bores-but
II Is great enough as II is. and we do
not want any improvements with II In
the line of machines to see around
corners. We have troubles enough
already, and too much knowledge
doesn't add 10 any ones happiness
Baltimore News.