Cañon City record., 1903-01-01

He Requests Any Journals or PERI
odicaIs That Have Obituaries of
Him to Publish Them Vow and
Send Him a Marked Copy So That
He May Correct ''the verdicts.- but
not "the Facts"
Mark Twain. the well known humor-
hst. recently wrote 10 the editor of
Harper's Weekly asking him to insert
the following amusing advertisement
Qt-eow, agate. ins.dej and TO send
the bill to him. He said:
am approaching seventy. 1t is in
sight 1t IS only three years away.
Necessar rily | must go soon. Ii is but
matter OF course wisdom. then. that !
should begin to set my worldly house
in order now, SO that II may be done
calmly and with thoroughness in place
of waiting until the last day. when. as
We have often seen. the attempt to set
both houses in order at the same time
has been marred by the necessity FOR
haste and by the confusion and waste
of time arising from the inability of
the notary and the ecclesiastic - work
together harmoniously, taking turn
assistance-not perhaps in fielding.
which could hardly be expected, but
at least in the minor offices of keeping
game and umpiring-by consequence
OF which conflict of interests and alb
sence of harmonious action a draw has
frequently resulted where this i'll for
tune could not have happened IL the
houses had been set in order one at a
time and hurry avoided by beginning
in season and giving to each the
amount of time fairly and Justly prop
er to it
In setting my earthly house In ordes
l find It Of moment that l should at
tend in person to one or two matters
which men in my position have long
had the habit of lenving wholly to 9th
ers. with consequences often most re
grettable. l wish to speak Of only one
Of these matters at this time. obitua-
ries- OF necessity an obituary is q
thing which cannot be so judiciously
edited by any hand as by that Of the
subject Of it In such a work 1t is not
the facts that are of chief Importance.
but the light which the obituarist shah
throw upon them. the meanings which
he shall dress them in. the conclusions
which he shall draw from them and
the judgments which he shall deliver
upon them The verdicts. you under
stand: that Is the danger line.
In considering this matter. in view Of
my approaching change. II has seemed
to me wise to take such measures as
may be feasible to acquire by courtesy
of the press access to my standing
obituaries. with the privilege. II this Is
not asking too much. of editing not
their facts. but their veriicts: this not
for present profit further than as con-
cerls my family. but as favorable
influence usable on the other side.
where there are some who are not
friendly to me.
With this explanation of my motives
l viii now ask you of your courtesy to
make an appeal for me TO the public
press. II Is my desire that such jour
mails and PERIODICALS as have obituaries
Of me lying in their pigeonholes with
view to sudden use some day will not
wait longer. but will publish them now
and kindly send me a marked copy.
My address Is simply New York city.
l have no other that is permanent and
not transient
l will correct them-not the facts.
but the ,rdicts-striking out such
clauses as could have a deleterlous In
fiuence on the other side and replacing
them with clauses OF a more judicious
character. | should of course expect
TO pay double rates for both the onis-
sions and the substitutious, and I
should also expect to pay quadruple
rates for all obituaries which proved TO
be rightly and wisely wortled in the
originals. thus requiring no emenda-
tons at all
1t is my desire to leave these amend
ed obituaries neatly bound behind me
US perennial consolation and enter
tainment TO my family and as an heir
loom which shall have 4 mournfui but
definite commercial value for my re
mote posterity.