Evening journal., 1903-09-01
CAUGHT ATRANDOM


The Landlady-"May / help you to
the vegetables, Mr.. Actor?"
The Actor-"Gee Whizzl Madam, do
you, too, think that am as bad as
that?"
It is safe betting that the artist who
paints those beautiful down on the
farm pictures, never had to whitewash
a barn when he was a kid.
It is estimated that stO.oOO,OoO Of
British treasure lies sunk along the
route from England to India.
The Hobo-"Kind lady. would you
give me a bite TO eat If cut you
some kindling wood?"
The Lady-"we don't need any kim
ding wood. We use a gas stove"
The Hobo.--"Well, den, please let
me sieve de ashes for you
The population Of Ireland. which
fifty years ago was over 100000, is
now less than 100000.
II is said in London that ]. NJ. Bar
rie has reaped larger profits from fic-
tion than any other contemporary
writer. The same has been said Of
Hall Caine. Mrs. Humphrey Ward, and
Rudyard Kipling.
Pope Plus X has sent his white cap
to General Charles +. Tracey. Of AL
bany. While a young man. General
Tracey served in the Papal Zouaves Of
Pope Plus TX from 1S67-7O.
John Q. Thompson. editor and pro-
prietor of the Sunday Chronicle" Of
Washington. ID. c., which paper he
purchased from Colonel John w. For
ney in 1872, died last Sunday
President Roosevelt has accepted an
invitation to make an address at the
unveiling of a monument to New Jer-
sey soldiers at Antietam battlefield.
September II. the forty-first anniver-
sary Of the battle.
The seventy seventh anniversary OF
the birth of Senator Hoar, of Massa-
chusetts. viii be observed on Satur-
day A reception will be rendered him
on Friday night a. Worcester. and an
Illuminated testimonial, addressed on
velum. will be presented to him i'm
recognition of the great services he has
rendered city. commonwealth and the
nation IN his long career.
There is a collection Of women in
Milwaukee which discusses ella Wheel
er Wilcox's poems, and deludes itself
with the notion that it is a literary
club.
A Mormon paper slyly says that the
Republican cry I'm the next campaign
is not 20 be n full dinner pail" but q
"fun baby carriage"
Many oklahoma Indians are getting
ready to shake the dust OF this country
from their feet and move 10 Mexico
Now we understand the meaning OF
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Many staid. respectable fathers oi
families secretly envy the tramp and
/ his irresponsibnity since the era o.
prosperity and high prices has set in
David b.. Hnrs criticisms OF the
I President were 10 be expected after thu
/ President declared that the record of &
man in public life should be as clear
as a hounds TOOTH"
Mrs. De style Ito applicanD-Yes
advertised for a butler. How Ions
were you at your last place.
A,f;icJnt-I would haye leen there
FOR th~.c years. n a an. fut they gav'
me six months OF for good behavior.
"The doctor" said Mr.. Henpeck, ''hai
ordered me away for a good, long rest
! Good" exclaimed Mrs. HenDeck. @
viii go with you"
"In that case the doctor has orderel
me to stay at home and save my none.
for the funeral"
Patient-"Although doctor. hav
sent for you at the earnest solicitation
OF my friends. and to please them, lie
me tell you that I have not the leas
faith in modern medical science"
Physioian-"Oh. that doesn't matte
at all. I assure you. The mule has n
faith in the veterinarian. vet the latte
cures him. Just the same"