The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-05-04
On Their Uppers Over Sea

60 But said the burgomaster, finally, |
striking the bench with his fist. after |
all you have broken the law ana you I
{" How much is it?' I asked. trembling
for fear he should take all my roll away
from me
I was mad enough to hit him Here ne
had kept me waiting for an nour over
a matter which involved only 81: threw
down a 1O-mark note ana hurried 4Mdy
without waiting for the change. When
reached the dock the sight was enough
to drive away the blues
ION board the steamer the forty chorus
girls were drawn up in company 'front.',
with Dick earle and Hyams, each armed
with an empty wine II.e, bottle tie IN lieu Oh
las I reached the gangplank earle gave
the word, the chorus saluted me. and
then all burst into singing here comes
the Man That's Got the Dough- an orig
inaI composition which earle had dashed
off while they were waiting for my re-
''The Germans on board were certainly
justified in thinking we were a party OF
iunatics- The girls pressed around me TO
ask what Offense I had committed ana
how / had been punished BY this time
the guard whom I had insulted had come
back to his post and the boat was moving
out into the stream.
g I was arrested for saying ''Du Dist
Elm Lump to that guard there on the
/ dock I said. They made me repeat 1t
/ over and again to them Then when we
had got well under way and were a nun
I dTeQ YARDS or more from the JOCK Lu6
! whole forty girls advanced to the side Of
the boat leaned far over and shook their
/ fair fists at the astOnished guard.
g 'Du Dist Elm Lump they shouted at
/ him in a grand sweeping chorus.
| land so began our voyage on the stor-
/ led Rhine, certainly the queerest voyage
/ on record. AS I had to serve both as in
/ terpreter and treasurer for the whole
/ party they met in solemn conclave and
elected me their king My throne was
! made of four soap boxes piled together-
! took my seat on It, after appointing earle
] my court jester and Hyams the captain
/ OF the janissaries-
Sumed my regal powers
- Make me Iaughr I ordered the court
! jester. March forth my troops or
dered the captain of the janissaries, and
! Hyams marshaled his squad of forty
| chorus girls.
| manded, and the girls salaamed to the
| wonder Of the captain and his crew. By
! this time everybody was getting hungry.
I and we found to our horror that on the
/ little freight steamer there were no pro-
( visions for feeding more than half q doZ-
en- passengers. The boat stopped to take
on freight every six hours, and at the
first stop earle and jumped into a cab
to find something 70 eat for US all w
came back with one huge paper bag 1llle0
with sliced ham and another bag, equally
big. full of fresh eggs. By brlbing the
cook and tipping everybody else on boaro
we finally got ham and eggs cooked toI
everybody in the party Never did q
meal taste as good.
I ham ana eggs Scilu IuDEG IMAM OiAs
of the girls. It's the best ever.
wouldn't care if L never got anything
else to eat
THAT gave earle and me a diabolica
idea which We Immediately proceeded Il
! put into execution We decided that fol
| the remainder of the trip-it lasted thirty
six hOurs-we would cOnfine our bill O
fare to ham and eggs and nothing else
And we did At the second meal of han
and eggs there were many complaints
/ which we summarily suppressed
- You said it was the best ever wa
! ( our answer, and the best is none to-
good for you
AFTER the fourth meal of ham an
eggs the girls sent a committee to pre-
sent a humble petition to the king
% % king they said, bowling low be
= fore the soap boxes, give US, we pray
liver ard bacon Put US on bread an
water.
/ s'But the king was adamant, and han
Z and eggs continued the only dish unit
|, we reached Holland BY the time we go
: back to London there wasn't a soul i
! the party that could look a hog in tn
: / face and the mere sight of a hen wa
: enough to produce hysterta-'