The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-09-20
GIMME FADDEN ON THE
 EDUCATION OF THE YOUNG
BY EDWARD W. TOWNSEND. Copyright, 1908, by Robert Howard Russell.

We'll, We had de time of his life get ting Little Duke-dats my and Duchess $ kiddie-o6 for school. When 1t comes times for Duchess to give de kid 8 few parting woids' said nottting, but just held me peace and listened.
 Mon mignon," she says, q give you tree dozen pocket handkerchiefs, and only asks dat wedder you has your les- sons or not" she says, "wedder you makes friends or enemies; wedder you Is good or bad in odder ways: wedder looses or keeps your spending money; wedder you makes frens wit de matron, as l told you to; wedder you sometimes forgets, or always remember your th's; wedder it is clear or cloudy; Sunday or week day: if you is we'll or i'll: l asks but dis one thing" Duchess says. de weeps coming into her voice. "only dis one solemn duty before all odders, and ~Above all odder tings," she says, 'and dat Is. dat you never Is witout a clean. fresh hanky in your pockets. If you for gets yourself and tells lie, or Is i'm pudent to odder boys. or don't have your French perfect, you can be forgiven by heaven; but mon enfant, heaven would not. and your modder could not, forgive you if you was found dead or wounded witout a clean. fresh hanky in your pocket"
 Sure, mamma" says de kid, who some- times talks straight English like his daddy; sure, I'll sink a clean wipe in me jeans every day"
 Dat is right, cheri," says Duchess. "Dere is many signs of being a gentle man. and dats what we're going to make you; but all signs fail on a man who has not a fresh, clean hanky on him. Otherwise a man may be in rags, and stained wit travel and covered wit-wit covered wit"
 Wit hay seed" says I, willing to oblige. but Duchess gives me de troubled eye, and goes on: He may be covered wit de soil of innocent games and play. But when it comes to his hanky-well, remember de woids of your modder!'
 Duchess always packs two kinds of wipes herself; one for show, and one for blow. Now she takes out de one for show. and dabs her eyes, like she was overcome wit commotion, and I know from dat she had passed de deal to mo So l says, "Kiddie,'' says I. what your ma says to you is on de dead level, and If l ever hears of you wit wipe dat isn't up to de standard, I'll show you q new use for .hitching strap besides to hitch"
 Yes, daddy" says kiddie, who was sitting up and paying all kinds of atten- tion now. ...
 T has only few woids of advice for to saw off on you, meself, and dey is woids about de end of de game dat l didn't go to no pay academy to Ioin about. In de foist place, me little man, don't go looking for trouble. It's fun ny ting about trouble, dat dough de woild seems to be filled wit it. still dere isn't so much, dat it is found witout look ing for it. mostly. You'll hear wise bazoonuses pass it along dat dere is so much trouble in de wold de reason you is not to look for it Is, dat you'll get all you can take care of witout looking for it. Oats de talk of Quitter. To be sure a mug gets some trouble in dis woild witout looking for it; but what I'm telling you is, dat dere s a lot of trouble dat is like a sleeping dog-it won't bodder you unless you poke 1t wit a stick. to see what 1t is like. Just don't look for it, and dere is heap of it dat you won't see.
 Cop me right, me son: I'm not telling you dat dere is no trouble for dose dat don't look for it: neider am I trying to con you with a song dat you must dodge de trouble dat comes your way, even when you are not looking for it.
 If you find yourself up against it, witout looking for it, just tell yourself dat a little of 1t is a good ting to keep you in mind dat you are not made all for show, but part for blow. Any old kind of trouble in dis woild dat your daddy ever had a knock-down to, is like a toot dat has to be pulled; de way to stop trouble dat you can't duck, is to get just as busy wit it as you know how under de rules of de game.