Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-09-19
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maid, and l have waist that buttons
In the back.-Judge.
Equivocal: She-Do you remember
before we were married, dear---
it's among my happiest rec
Statesman.
Mike-Are &c much hurled Pat? Do
ye want a docthor? Pat--A docthor,
We fule! afther bein' ruined over be n
car? Plat OF want is a law
Hobson's Choice Guest lin cheap
waiter, what have
you got? Waiter-Beefsteak and fish
but the fish is all out. Which'll you
News.
Stranger / would like to have a
tooth pulled. Dentist-A man who
would like to have a tooth pulled must
be lunatic. Guess you'd better go
TO the nearest asymm,--Boston Tran
script
so they named cigar after yout"
Eyes" answered the sporting man in a
dubious tone. quite compliment"
II thought so till l smoked one OF the
cigars, then concluded that it was
libel. "-Washington Star.
Like a Woman: IF you'Il notice."
said Finnick, "the poets invariably say
she when referring to the earth. why
should the earth be considered femi-
nine?' "Why not. Nobody knows just
how old the earth s."-PhiIadelphia
Public Ledger
Wife, wish we had nice large
country place, where | could give a
lawn party Husband-Just for the
pleasure of inviting some of your
friends, eh? Wlfe-Well, yes; and the
pleasure of not inviting some.--Phila.
delphia Ledger.
Ethel (ecstatcally)-Oh, Charlie.
would you just as leave propose an
over again, and do ii into this phono-
graph? Cholly Why? why, | want
TO have something to remember You
by after you have gone in and spoken
to papa about lt"--Life.
Followed Directions: Mahoole-Aint
yez III wan that towld me niver TO
dhrlnk wather widout boilin'? Physt-
cian-Yes, sir. Mahoole-ThIn Oh how
moind TO murther We. Oh dhrank
boiled wather avn awlmost burned me
mouth off,--Chicago Times. 4
II heard to-day that your son was
an undertaken. thought you told me
he was physician" mot at ALL" Il
don't like to contradict, but I'm posi-
tive you did say So" you mlsunder-
stood me. | said he followed the med
zeal profession. Philadelphia Press.
jack hear you are going to marry
Miss Prettyun. Permit me TO congrat-
ulate you ON your excellent taste. Tom
But the engagement In Off Pm not
going to marry her or any one else.
Jack Indeed! Then allow me to con
graduate you on your good sense
Chicago Evening Post.
Just Like Real Lovers: Miss Ro-
manz-Of course, you've read that
new love-story Of his? Mr.. Crabbe ire
vicwer)-Yes; had to. Very realistic,
wasn't It? Miss Romanz-Oh. the ideal
Why, the dialogue between the lovers
was perfectly silly. Mr.. Crabbe--
Well? Philadelphia Press.
Guest (angrily)-I,Ook here, land.
lord, I'm heartily tired of the way you
do business here Didn't you ever
have gentleman stop with you be-
fore? Landlord gazing at him search
ingly)--Hum! Are you gentleman7
Guest more angriiy)-Of course.
Landlord decidedly -- Then | never
did.
4 Feeling Of Security: I'm so sur
prised to hear your wife likes the
house so much--it's so small" Eyes,
but there nre lots of closets in it,"
True, but they're extremely small,
too That's just IT, My wife Is sat
istied that not one OF them Is big
enough to hold burglar. "--Philadel
phia Ledger.
Happy In the Assurance: Sho was
going away. "Oh, john she sobbed,
'J-John, are y-you quits sure you'll
miss mel" Darling" replied her
big husband, "I'll miss you as much as
| do the morning train" Thus assured
she picked up her grip and, with
sweet smile, started for the seashorc.-.
Chicago News.
Mrs Subbubs-Henry, Bridget broke
three of our very best plates to-day, Mr..
Subbubs-Heayens Could anything
possible be worsel Mrs Subbubs-Shl
It isn't as bad as 1t might be. She I'm
mediately hid the pieces, and if we
ca only look pleasant and pretend we
know nothing about it, ! think she'll
stay .-Philadelphia Press.
Good for the Heart: Mrs. Blokcy,
Jr. fWho is Of romantic turn)-My!
amt the moon lovely glitterin' on the
waves! II does ones heart good to
see 1t Mr.. Il. (Blokey Il som All. and
wouldn't II do ones art good to sec
'Blokey & Sons Pickles printed right
across it, big enough for ~! tho acrld
to read with the naked eye?-Tit-Bits
IN. e.,