Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-09-21
*zM%


biADy WlIe Gun converse IN uVo
languages" yes; and can't keep still
in any one of em")Judge.
She-What are you thinking Of.
dear? He-The dearest person Oh
earth She-You conceited old thing.
The Household Ledger
He'd like to meet Miss Bond. She
why? 81 hear she has thirty thou
sand year and no incumbrance." SIS
she looking for one?"-I.ife.
Il told papa your poems were the
children Of your BRAIN" What did he
say?' Said they were bad enough to
be put In the reform school"
That" said WILLIE as he launched
heavy volume at his little brothers
head, lis the coming book. It's bound
to make a columbia Jester.
The Anxious Mother-Are you sure
my son has appendicitis? The Emf
nent Specialist-We can tell you bet
ter, madam, after the operation.
Life.
Pat-How does yez loike Goldfish
balls? Mike-Faith. an l niver tend
ed one; but it's big tonnes I've had
down at the fireman's hop.-Lippin-
colts.
Lord Littlecash Qovingly)-You are
my soul. Edith-Yes; told papa that.
"Oh, what did he sayY" said you
didn't earn enough to keep your soul
and body together.
Patience-Before he married her he
couldn't do too much for her, but now
he wouldn't lift his hand to help her.
Patrice-Well. you know she says she
has made another man of him.
Running an auto must be exciting"
said the friend. 1T u.s." said the own
er. Every time you stop you wonder
If the machine will start again when
you are ready."-Brooklyn Life.
Amelia-You don't seem interested
In summer schools. Emily-Summer
schools! Oh, gracious, in hot weather
it Is all | can do to hold on to the lit
tie already know.-Detroit Free
Press.
Father, when l graduate l am 60
ing to follow my literary bent and
write for money" "Humph! My son,
you ought to be successful. That's all
you did the four years you spent at
college"
Ethel saw sister sitting on your
lap last night and told mother. Young
Mun-What in the world did you do
that for? Ethel-She told me to let
her know when there was any good
news.-Life.
"Ah," She signed, 1.-The great men are
all dead But the beautiful women
are not he answered. Then she look
ed up into his eyes and told him she
had said 1t just to be contrary and not
because she thought it for moment.
When some cavalrymen were going
through riding drill one of the men $
horses bolted with him and was max
lug his way towards the stables when
an officer met him. where are you
going!" inquired the officer. II don't
know, sir" shouted the cavalryman,
us he flew past. ASK the horsew
Young man." said the stern parent
to the applicant for job as son-in-
law, Il want you to know that l spent
five thousand dollars on my daugh-
ter's education" "Thanks," rejoined
the youth who was trying to break
into the family circle; then | won't
have to send her to school again.
Chicago Daily News.
While Arthur was spending week
ut his aunt's he CHANGED one day to
place his elbows Oh the table during
dinner. MY dear boy said his aunt,
don't you know that children of the
| first families must never put their ell
bows Oh the table?" "Oh, WE'LL" said
Arthur, that doesn't hit me for my
fathers been married twice, and be-
long to the second family"
Officer To new Servant