The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-07-26


The odd statements made in sundry ex-
animation papers continue 10 furnish amuse-
ment for the reading public. and one is in
clined TO believe the samples given are gen.
uine: nobody could possibly make them up
on purpose. They are generally the result
of pure ignorance feebly struggling to re-
member unfamiliar and uncomprehended
words and getting something that sounds
little like them. However. there are other
types known to teachers; one is that of the
glib student with a good verbal memory,
who fiuently recites what he thinks he saw
In the book without troubling himself to
consider whether II makes sense. For in
stance. the history book said, referring to
the discovery Of the Pacific: Balboa waded
out into the ocean with his naked sword in
one hand and the banner OF CASTLE in the
other, and took possession of all lands
washed by It's waters for the crown of
SPAIN" And the glib boy recited: Balboa
waded out into the ocean, naked, with his
sword I'm one hand and cake Of CASTLE
soap In the other" etc.-which was at least,
modernized version. Then there is the
oratorical boy, whose attention is so fixed
on making his reading sound loud and eff
fective that he has time for nothing else.
Such was he who, bent on making fine
display because company was present, read.
And Saul went down to Damascus" with
great emphasis. thus: "And Saul went
down to Dam-a-cus."
AS for the little ones-bess their hearts
who bring home a first second reader
TO show mamma how nicely they can read.
what funny work they make of It; espe-
cially II they ambitiously undertake les
son they have not yet been taught. One
dear. little girl. with air which said
palmer than words. 'Oh. this is so easy"
read from a favorite piece
Two girls know. Janet and 10.
And one is always mopping;
} The other lasse. come what may,
Is always bravely hopping.
When her puzzled mother stole a chance
to look at this singular statement she
found that the rhyming words OF the origi-
nal were "mopins" and hoping"
But sometimes the wheel OF fortune turns
and lowers the proud and it is the ex-
aminer and not the examined who is COW
cred with confusion. Witness the case of
the benevolent prominent citizen, who
strolled into a Third b room, with some
vague idea of lending the light of his coun-
teuance to the great cause of public educa-
ton. The teacher handed him speller
and invited him to examine the children In
their grade. The prominent citizen donned
his spectacles and began to put OUT
words. For time all went well, until he
came TO a word that bothered him little,
but II was no time for hesitation-a di-
minutive black-eyed girl stood quivering
with eagerness. her mouth open to catch
the word, like a young birds for worm.
pike" said the amateur examiner, bold
ly. pike. pike" said the imp; then
rushing on breathlessly to get the words
out before the teacher could stop her-"that
word isn't in our grade; spose you must
mean pique-p-i-q-u-e. piquel''
XXX
small boy, aged two years or less was
entertaining a youthful aunt and two ador-
ing grandfathers while they waited for the
concert at Fairview to begin. How do you
come to be here?' inquired grandpa No. i.
jocularly. "Banconsri," replied the infant
succinctly. He proved a good witness. No
amount OF questioning could shake
mis- testimony. He stuck to banconsri
through everything. els it something to
eat?' asked grandpa No. 2. "Yes-eat 1t all
up" said the infant.
The young aunt was appealed to. probably
on the ground that she had not had so long
time to forget the language. but she
powerless to interpret. Suddenly a linguis-
tic inspiration came to grandpa No. 1.
do you mean band concert?"'
Eyes, yesi Banconsri!' cried baby, de-
lighted that at last those stupid grown-ups
understood. Then he added. by way of
making the matter quite clear:
want carry EN-"
Again the bewildered questioning All
sorts of interpretations were suggested;
one grandpa even thought he meant want
to clean my hands," which, considering his
age and sex. was about as improbable
suggestion as could well have been made.
At last grandma strolled by and was hailed
a certain source OF knowledge. Tell us
what he means-we don't know the Ian
guage." they appealed.
'.Banconsri. Want carry En-" said baby.
relieved at having at last person of sense
to deal with.
waiting for the band TO play. and then he
wants to clap his hands,
XXX
You have heard of the proverbial
Philadelphia lawyer? His reputation
seems to have been established be-
fore Philadelphian slowness became
standing joke: at least one hears
elderly people say, in reference to some
complicated question, like that of whom
the Democrats will nominate in 1904, ut
would puzzle a Philadelphia lawyer"
Well, the Philadelphia lawyer has been
here. and he has been puzzled. too And
the thing that puzzled him simplicity
ftself-noshing more than r. 16. TIP. 5, s. q,
sw.-The familiar abbreviation for the
southwest quarter OF the twenty-frst Sec
ton in Township 5, Range 16. He was
man OF education and Of eminence in his
own city, and he had never heard OF the
system OF land designation in the West.
When the matter was explained to him, he
was filled with delighted admiration. He
actually had never known that there is
any way TO describe a piece OF land, but
to begin by designating a starting point
in many laborious words, and then TO go
on something like this: Proceeding thence
n. n. W, for is poles and links, along a
line OF blazed trees. to a marked stump.
proceeding thence three points south of
west, for g poles and links, along the
course OF brook to a marked tree and
so on and so on, covering a whole sheet
OF foolscap. and designating. with some
degree certAinty Dfeca of lana x-i.A