West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-06-04
THE RURAL POSTWAR.
The Mall Carrier Tells OF Cola Brick
and an Empty Box.


lightning-rod agents have had to
pass him by.
AS | drove up to his mail box the
other day his young son, Danny,
was waiting TO say to me that his
pop was sick in the house and
wanted to see me. / found the
farmer in bed with horseradish
draughts at his feet and bottles of
hot water around him. He had a
chill, and his complexion was pea
green.
"Hellol jerry" says /. "has the
grip got you at last2"
"Sit down, Abe" he replied in
whisper, as he motioned for his
wife to leave tie room. al think I
am struck with death, and | want to
talk with you little. You are a
big man, amt you, Abep"
"Pretty tolerably. As one of
Uncle Sans mail carriers re.
present the Constitution, the Ameri-
can eagle and the flag of the free.
That's almost as much as being the
United States herself, though my
potatoes cost me just as much per
bushel as if were only governor of
New York. What's on your mind2"
"rhere was a Teller came along
here last week with a horse and
buggy. He was mysterious like.
He talked of one thing and another,
and he finally winked for me to
come out to the barn. When we
got out there he owned up to me
that he was a'robber from California
He had robbed seven houses of
Jewelry to get money to 60 to
England to see his dying motherp"
"And of course you had him
arrestedp" / said.
"Wall, no / should have had l
know, but he shed tears and seem
ed so worried about his mother that
felt sorry for him. He had got
this far toward New York. where
he wanted to take the steamer. and
was out of money. He had melted
the jewelry up into gold brick,
and he-he-"
"He wanted to raise money on
the brick2"
eyes; he wanted to raise s7so.
The brick was worth 500, but
owing to circumstances he would
sacrifice. Abe, what dye think l
did2"
"You beat him down to saoo and
took the brick"
Changed if | didn't. What else?p
"You took it to town Yesterday.
found 1t was only lump of brass,
and came home to have chill.
Jerry Simpson, you've been taken
in by game as old as the hills"
al have, Abel have, he walled
as tears ran down his cheeks, "and
now want you to do something for
me. You are as big as the United
States. You can have that critter
run down and get my money back.
He has two hundred cash dollars.
Abe-two hundred cash dollars.
and I'll never forget how purity they
looked when I handed them over.
Don't say it can't be done unless
you want to see me draw my last
breath"
had 10 tell him so, however.
and when l left the house he had
the camphor bottle under his nose
and his forehead was being rubbed
with hot vinegar to save him for
this world of sin. He won't die,
and | pity the next California
robber who comes along and winks
at him.
unearthed another interesting
case as / got along to Uncle Bob
Johnsoh's. Uncle Bob has long
been known as a farmer who never
makes a trade without getting the
best of 1t, and he has a son, Toe.
with an edge on him like razor.
The pair can make a big rock and
1000 pounds Of hay pan out a ton
any day in tie week, Uncle Bob
called me from the front door to
come in for fned cake and a glass
of cider, and as soon as entered
the door, be said:
abe, I'm in awful trouble"
"Shoo. What is it77
"IFs Joe. I've got him tied up
down cellar TO prevent him from
committing suicide. He's tried il
four times since he got home last
Monday"
"Where had he been?"
"Io New York wouldn't tell
another human soul about il, but
III put confidence in you. There
are no flies on Joe, you know"
1--WE heard that flies didn't roost
on him