Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1903-06-05
THE DEACON'S FLYER

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Speaking Of sure things naturally
calls to mind the case fmy old friend
Deacon WiggIclord whom | used to
know back in Missouri years ago. The
deacon was a powerful plous man,
and he was good according to his
lights, but he didn'tusea very superb
or article of kerosene TO keep them
burning
Used to take half the time in
praycr-mccting talking about how
we were all weak vessels and stewards
But he was so blamed busy cxhorting
others to give ont Of the hIllness with
which the Lord had blessed them
that he forgot that the Lord had
blessed him about $50, 200 worth, and
put it in mighty safe property, too,
you bet.
The deacon had brother in Chi
cago whom he used to call sore
trial. Brother Bill was a broker on
the board of trade, and, according to
the deacon. he was not only engaged
in a mighty sinful occupation, but he
was a mighty poor steward of his sin
full gains. Smoked two bit cigars and
wore a plug hat Drank little and
cussed a little and went to the Epis-
copai church. though he had been
raised a Methodist. Altogether it
loked as if Bill was pretty hard nut.
Well. one fall the deacon decided
to 90 to Chicago himself to buy his
winter goods. and naturally he hiked
out to Brother Bills to stay, which
Wa, considerably cheaper for him
than the Palmer house, though. as he
told us when he got back, it made him
sick to see the waste.
The deacon had his mouth all fixed
TO tell Brother Bill that, in his opin-
ion. he wasn't much better than a
faro dealer. for he used to brag that
he never let anything turn him from
his duty, which meant his meddling
other peoples business. ] want to say
right here that with most men duty
means something unpleasant which
the other fellow ought to do. As a
matter of fact. a mans first duty is to
mind his own business. 1t has been
my experience that it takes all the
thought which one man can give to
run one man right, and If fellows
putting in five or six hours a day on
his neighbours character, he's mighty
apt to scamp the building Of his own.
Well, when Brother Bill got home
from business that first night. the
deacon explained that every time he
lit a two-bit cigar he was depriving
Zulu Of 25 helpful little tracts which
might have made a better man Of
him: that fast horse, were a snare and
plug hats a vile of the enemy; that
the board Of trade was the temple Of
Belial, and the brokers on it his sons
and servants.
Brother Bill listened mighty pa
tiently to him, and when the deacon
had pumped out all the Scripture
that was in him, and was beginningto
suck air, he sort of skunk intothe con-
yersatlon like setterpup that sheen
caught with the feathers on his chops.
Brother Zeke,' says he, Il shall
certainly let your words soak in. ]
want to be a number two red, hard,
sound and clean sort of a man, and
grade contract on delivery day. Per
hap. a, YOU say. the rust has got into
me and the Inspector won't pass me,
land If can see it that way I'll settle
my trades and get out of the market
/ lOf good.
The deacon knew that Brother Bill
had scraped together considerable
/ property, and, as he was a bachelor.
it would come to him in case the bro
ker was removed by any sudden dis
pensation What he really feared
was that his money might be fooled
away in high livingand speculation.
And so he banged away into the mid
die of the flock, hoping to bring down
those two birds. Now that it began
to look as if he might kill off the
whole bunch he started in to hedge.
els safe, William" says he.
"As Sunday school" saws Bill. III
4gH ga l1re-f