Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-03-05

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Charles Dana Knotington, the itin-
Grant type sticker," was weary, hun
CRY and footsore-but not discourag-
ed. He was a man Of many towns, a
peregrinating bum printer, known
from Kalamazoo, Micn., to Butte,
Mont He was not only known Of
men but his acquaintance was wide,
varied and reminiscent. He knew a
man who worked with Horace Greeley
and once he had held cases 'longside
o. Lazarus" on the Butte Miner. With
the ''perfesh" he was a man of many
ties, typographical and railroad. In
fact his knowledge Of great editors
and association with ''swifts," was as
endless as the railroad ties over
had passed on the bumpers.
Thus it was, in the course Of events,
he had landed in Podunk and sought
the usual employment. But, alas! the
deadly machine had shown its head in
the beautiful little city on the Squirt
let" and Charles Dana Knotington
had been turned down. The alley
wherein once was heard "the silent
messengers" of the gang as they
clicked. clicked" in the sticks, was
no more-the invention of man, with
ruthless clank and clang, had usurped
the bread and butter OF hundreds like
Charles Dana K.
Having been refused work he asked
for a panhandle" but the cruel
heart of the editor was petrifying fast
and Knotington turned from the Office
of the "Podunk Pumpkin" with sor-
row in his very soul.
But he was not discouraged. Had
he not successfully combated the
stern realities of life innumerable
times, and exultant, rose joyously
above the sordid obstacles that barred
his printorial way? Aye! aye! in
deedi
1T is to think" said Charlie, who
was a faithful subscriber to the col
ored supplement.
1T is ten. miles to Bumperville and
no freight train before midnight" Ere
the starry stars burst through the
canopy of night he would starve like
a common hobo who chalked gate
posts and begged for Cookies" of the
kitchen mechanics. Nay! Nay!
Pauline" he would not let the gnaw
Of hunger eat at the vitals Of his
inner self like rat chewing an old
shoe in the garnet.
Philosophically Charles Dana Knot
ington tapped his forehead with the
index finger of his right hand and,
sinking down beside a pile of ashes
in the back lot of the Pumpkin Office,
pulled from his pocket the Morning
Cow Bell" and began to read.
"HorribleI What's this! Mt
Pelee swallowed up thousand lives!'
Life is but as candles snuffed out in
the twinkling of an eye!' The entire
island buried in storm of ashes!'
"ASHES!"
The recumbent form of Charles
Dana arose vigorously to a rectangu-
lar figure!
ASHES" he gasped, "Ashes!"
In a moment he was gone, but in
the dusky shadows of eventide dark
form might have been seen diligently
engaged at the ash pile in the alley
back Of where the "Podunk Pumpkin"
had its abstract being!
And in the next issue of the Pump
kin" appeared this notice:
"a DASTARD'S WORK"
ga miserable tramp printer Of the
name of Charlie Knotington filed
several hundred envelopes with ashes
and clinkers from some Podunk ash
heap last Tuesday evening and sold
them to our inhabitants for ten cents
each as souvenirs of Mt. Pelee. Hang
ing is too good for such hoboes."
But many miles away, like Sheri-
dan, Charles Dana Knotington was
calmly smoking a clear sauer-kraut
leaf cigar in the rear of the Office Of
the strawberry Point Sweet Corn
and beside him rose, full high, an
other pile of ash and clinkers. or Mt.
Pelee after the eruption!
SSS
st. Valentines day, 1908, has pass
ed another Rubicon. The two little
doves CONTRACTING to each other on a
stub-tailed twig have been put away
in Mamie's escritoire with the arrow
pierced hearts and the passionate
verse of yesteryear, and once more
we are webbing along with only our
courage to help us get married. Dan
Cupid is recovering from his dissipa-
ton of love-making and recuperating
for the time when the redder iris
comes upon the breast of robin, when
the young mans fancy lightly turns
to thoughts of love, and when pa is
better natured because he doesn't
have to buy more coal and more gasl
Apollo and Hymen and Venus and
Cupid have all done their worst with
the paper love-tokens, and once again
we are up against the cold, cruel
problem of getting our spring over
coat out OF pawn. 1t is like leaving
Utopia to go to the woodshed to split
kindling Life is so practical at
times it makes US grow pessimistical
and long for false and unfriendly
stimulant. 1t is only those who re-
ceive comic valentines who are not
plunged from heaven to a stranded
cable car in the twinkling of an eye.
80
A very large, hideous hoodoo, with
deer colored eyes and a grapevine tail,
has been chasing the Wayne (Neb.)
Democrat man in a mad effort to in
duce him to take to drink. The hoo
doc put an imaginary brick in the
wheels of the job press and broke the
press, the hoodoo wagged his tangly
tail in the way of form and it "pied,"
the hnndnn hlaw his breath i1tn the