davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
In Old Kaintuck.

Learnicus-Every man is seven
Nrts water.
The colonel with intense indigna-
aon)-Suh!
More Than His Due.
rSee here" Indignantly cried the
transient guest, here's bone collar
button in this stew"
"Oh, that's a mistake, sir" replied
the waiter.
"A mistake!"
Eyes, sir; we never give extras ex-
cept to our regular customers, SIR
Philadelphia Press.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
An Honest Answer.

Nathan, when a small boy, once
drifted into a Sunday school, or was
dragged there-accounts differ-and
when asked concerning the chief end
of man merely shook his head. The
question was not clear. Trying again,
the teacher sought to get from him
some idea Of moral responsibility.
There was no reply. A third effort
was made by gradually approaching
the subject, the teacher asking him
what he best liked to do.
"Shirk work." was the prompt reply.
DIR. c. c. Abbott, in Lippincott's.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
Herolsm of Two Hens.

Following hard upon the story of
the setting hen that stuck to her nest
in a New Jersey barn while flames
were deyouring the building, comes
one from Mount Vernon OF a heroic
fowl that Matched out brood of six
chicks on the coolest day in March,
her nest being fanked on one side by
a snow bank and on the other by an
lce-coated rock.
Who will dare to say Chicken
hearted" now?-New York Evening
Sun,
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
Woman's Way.

Ted-Ours was secret engagement.
Ned suppose that was why the
girl didn't keep it.--CasselPs Journal.
Very Good.
Kind Father-My dear, IL you want
a good husband, marry Mr.. Goodheart.
He really and truly loves you.
Daughter-Are you sure of that. par
Kind Father-.Yes, indeed. I've been
borrowing money of him for six
months and he still keeps coming
Stray Stories.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
The Style Responsible.

What a number Of new hats you
have! You have twice as many as
you used to have two or three years
ago. Your husband must be making
money"
ooh, no, we have no more money; II
is the difference in the styles of the
hats. These low crowns only take
boxes half as high as the others, and
I have room for twice as many in my
1at."-New York Times.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
Too Personal.

Miss Clifton--Yes. she was furlor.
about the way in which that paper -
ported her marriage.
Miss Avondale-Did 1t allude to bs,
age?
Miss Extraordinarily. It sta,oa
that Miss olde and Mr.. Yale were mar.
ried, the latter being a well.known col.
lector of antiquities.-Saxby's Masa.
zine.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
Unavailable.

Close Merchant-Yes, sir, I want a
new bookkkeper, but you won't do.
Applicant-May l ask why?
Close Merchant-You are as bald as
a billiard ball, sir. A man with no
hair to wipe his pen on will rust out
a whole box every week.-New York
Weekly.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
A Literary Opinion.

willie" said the minister, laying
his hand on the little fellows head,
what Is the pest book?"
"The dictionary. sir"
what? Isn't the Bible better2"
"No, sir. It's pretty good, though.
I can stand on my tiptoes on it and
reach the jam shelf. But the die
tionary IS better. "-Brooklyn Eagle.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
Domestic Statistics.

One Of little Pauls sisters had been
married only a few weeks when he
was asked by workman to whom he
had been talking for a long time:
How many sisters have your"
zone married and two alive" was
the amusing answer.--Little Chron-
icle.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
BOY WAS NOT GUILTY.
II Was His Milk That Made the On
pleasant Noise.

II Was His Milk That Made the On.
pleasant Noise.
Four-year-old Messic always had a
cup of milk for supper. One evening
he was so thirsty that the moment
grace was said he seized his cup and
drank his milk so hurriedly that it
produced a gurgling sound in his
throat.
"Messic, Messic!" said his father,
sharply, you must not make that
kind of noise at the table. II isn't
nice"
The little fellow set down his cup and
looking up at his father, said in an in
jGred tone: why, papa, 'twant me
that madesthe noise, it was the milk"
Little Chronicle.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
mother Gray,s sweet Powder, for

Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for ChIIa,s,
Successfully used by Mother GRAY, pur..
In the Children's Home in New York. chr.
Constipation, Feverishness, Bad Stomach
Teething Disorders, move and regulate ths
Bowels and Destroy Worms. Over 90, 600 ta,.
timonials. At all druggists, 25c. sannI.
FREE. Address A. s. Olmsted, Leroy. nv
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
One Reason Why.

"She is very bright for one who has
tust lost her husband"
"That's so; but you must remember
that she is in the honeymoon of her
widowhood."-LaC aricature.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
Simple.

Ethel-A sixteen-page letter from
George? Why. what on earth does he
say?
Mabel--He says he loves me.-Pitts-
burg Dispatch.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
PATENTS.
List Of Patents Issued Last Week to
Northwestern inventors.

Northwestern inventors.
Edward p. Arsneau. Duluth, Mimi,
derrick; Louie Derry. Montpelier, ~
D., bundle carrier and shock former
for harvester binders; Charles Gar
rett. Minneapolis. Mimi, dry pipe
valves; Andrew Lenna, Canton, s. D.,
clothes or mop wringer; francis Rus,
sell. Hoffman. Mont, tug buckle; Bert
Selfridge, Butte, Mont, packing de.
vice for drill rods and the like; Henry
J. wessinger, Duluth, Mimi, expan
sion pipe joint.
I.othrop & Johnson, patent lawyers. 81
and 9l2 Pioneer Press Bldg. St. Paul.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09

RUGS MADE FROM YOUR OLD
CARPETS by the Reliable Rug Works.
$40 w. 18th ST.. Des Moines. Iowa. Mira
w. z. Pennington. Proprietor.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
With True Feminine Aim.

WITT TUG FemInIne Aim.
Shell killed two birds with one
stone yesterday.
He-fndeed? ! suppose you threw
It at a dog?"
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09

The biggest mistake in the world is
the one the fool makes In thinking he
"a giving an imitation of wisdom.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09

Mrs yyinsfoys's SOOTHING syrup
rr children teething. softens the gums, reduces In
ianuaation alays pain, cures wind collie. 2oe bottle
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09

Marriage should be the victory Of
altrulsm, but it is the victory of ego.
tism.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09

Some men are so lucky that they
have to travel in order to recover
from the effects of too much resting.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09

To Cure a Cold I'm One day,
Take Laxative Bromo Quinins Tablets. An
druggists refund money IL fails to cure "a
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09

No man becomes wise until he has
often called himself a fool.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09

God will always set the picture Of
character in worthy chamber.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09

HOUSTON, TEX.
poap's Kidney Pills
thought a box at OF
half and stopped, |
before had only com
80 free. | had medi.
bsgo and the pills n
written sooner, but J
person forgets s6ou
hoESCKE, No. 2Sl9
Tex
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09

FALMoUrH, VA,
months with pain u
S WsSicines and glast.
,sIief Doan's kid y
Rsows, Falmouth, '
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09
CLIO
mans Kidney Pills
10 the makers
and largest sal

CuRTrcE, OIL ma
,.ct that | could not
va ~. Of Doan's Kidney
lPu mi I sent to Toled
SSsv cured me.- SA
ice, o. -
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1903-04-09

WEST HAVEN, Coz
took a severe pa ! Il
box Of Doan's Kid
USN purchased tN
and box. My heart
va 10 and | feel W,
No s77 Elm Street.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21
REACHES THE CENTURY MARX
Admission Into the
Union.


CHILLICoTHE. o.. May 3.-The centen-
NAL OF Ohio's statehood was celebrated
here today and will continue tomorrow.
with all the ceremony made possible by
the inhabitants of this ancient metropolis"
The two-days' program consists of ad-
dresses on historical topics. to be delivered
in a great tent in the city park. a civic
parade m a display of fireworks. Decora-
tons are OF the most tasteful description.
At 9 a. m. today the hrst public act Of
the celebration took place in the common
pleas court. where a plaster medallion OF
Edward Tihin. ohio's FIRST governor, was
presented TO the county.
Following came the set program for the
day. Governor Nash presiding. Mayor
Yaple made the address Of welcome and
General w. J. Keller responded for the
Historical society. Following were ad-
dresses by Hon. Judson Harmon OF Cincin-
natl. President Martin B. Andrews Of Mari
eta, Judge Rush Sloane OF sandusky, Judge
M. NJ. Granger. formerly OF the Ohio su-
preme court; General Thomas G Anderson.
Murat Halstead. former Governor James r.
Campbell OF New York. Senator Foraker
and General Charles H. Grosvenor.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21
STUBBORN FIRE At LINCOLN
Several Firemen Overcome by Smoke
in Basement Of Build
ing.
From a stan Correspondent.)

LINCOLN. Neb.. May ~o-(special Tele-
gram. Fire which started In the basement
of the four-story brick building at Eleventh
and N streets at IL o'clock this morning
and which was not extinglished until 4
O'Clock this afternoon did $4,000 damage
to the crockery stock of Carl Funke and
probably 1900 to the building. The base
ment was used as a Wholesale department
and was full of excelsior and packed china
BY good work Of the department the
flames were confined to the basement.
The smoke was dense during the entire
time and these iremen were overcome
and had to be taken to the hospital: Cap
tain Delmar slower. William ]. Thompson,
Thomas M. Draper, Robert NJ. Whitelock,
Edgar NJ. Lindsey, Charles r. Lee, James
d. Hill. Charles E. Patterson, John Nell
son, James Nellis. None Of the men were
seriously injured.
The upper stories Of the building were
used as offices and the occupants were
driven out and some damage resulted from
the smoke. The fire was started by the
overturning of a lamp in the hands of an
ONCE boy. The latter was going down the
steps in the basement. and fell. The
building is owned by Edgar e. Smith and
o.. s. Jackson of Omaha. The loss is
covered by insurance. ..a 4
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21
COTTON MARKET STILL WILD
Opens Amid Great Excitement with
New Orleans Bull I'm
Control.

NEW YORK, May 20.--The cotton mar
ket opened amidst a rush of excitement
with the New Orleans bull again possibly
directing operations. The situation now,
according TO current gossip. has resolved
itself into a struggle for supremacy be-
tween the New Orleans leader on the one
hand and a combination of large interests
on the other, led by the leader of the New
England bull clique, and prominent ex-
porting people of Philadelphia.
The former stands for still further ad-
vances, while the latter are fighting to
check the advance with the smaller opera
tors either failing behind their chosen lead
ers or attempting to scalp fractional ad-
vantages. az first one side, then the other,
shall be in a temporary a~scendancy.
This morning the bulls were favored by
the Liverpool cables, which reached further
sensational gains, while the bears were en-
couraged by the favorable weather. good
private crop accounts and an Increased
volume of movement But at the opening
the bulls carried all before them, and the
first prices were at an advance of "a. with
the late months showing the greatest
strength. Trading was tremendously ac-
tive and warehouses were overloaded with
buying orders mostly for covering new
crop shorts,
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21
CONCLUDE CHURCH MEETING
Omaha Association OF Congregation
sIists Have an I~nterestinE '
Session.

FREMONT, Neb., May 2-(SpeciaL)-
The Omaha Association OF Congregational
Churches completed their session this even
ing. The meetings have been we'll attended
and of much interest to both clergymen and
laymen Ct the denomination. Last evening
the music was furnished by the vested
boy choir Of the Fremont church. Prin-
cipal A. H.. Warehouse spoke on the
Church and the Public Schools" and Mr..
w. G. Smith of Omaha on the Business
Man and the Church." The devotional
exercises this morning were lead by Rev.
e. Z. Henry of Omaha. The subject for
discussion was missionary methods and the
principal speakers were Rev. ]. b. Stock
ing of Wahoo and Rev. II. G. Croker Of
Omaha. This afternoon Rev. P. A. Sharpe
of Omaha read a paper on The Social
Element in Church Work and the Gen
eral Relation of Church and Society and
the Influence Of Society Upon the Church"
were discussed by a number of the clergy
men. Mr.. 8. c. Brewster of Irvington
read an interesting and practical paper on
Responsibility of the People for the Pas
tors Success" in which he urged a moro
active participation of laymen in church
work. Rev. j.. w. Leavitt of West Point
spoke on self Culture and Self Denial"
This evening G. V. Manney's Easter can
tata, 9Th Resurrection, was~rendered by
the chorus choir Of the Fremont church and
the closing address was given by Rev.
Robert Yost of Omaha. The general work
OF the denomination In the district of the
Omaha association was reported very sue
cossful and the financial condition of the
churches much Better than formerly. All
of the clergymen and delegates present
were entertained by the members of the
Fremont church.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21
HeId for Horse steaIing.

PLATTsMoUTH. Neb.. May 2o-(spe-
>cial.)-The man who was arrested in Ne
braska City yesterday and brought to this
city last night by Sheriff ]. D. Mcbride.
charged with stealing a team, harness and
buggy from NJ. s. Peterson of this county,
when arraigned before Justice Archer this
afternoon said his name was William
Jones. He waived examination and was
bound over to the district court. his bond
being liked at $500. which he vas unable to
give and went back to Jail. He is about
20 years of age and is rather a bright ap-
pearing young man The officers are OF
the opinion that he has not given his right
name. and that his people reside in Mis-
souri,. He refused to even give his at
torney his former residence.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21
court OverruIes council.

FAIRBURY. Neb., May 2O-(special)-
In district court yesterday Judge Letton
overruled the action of the council in grant
ing saloon license to L. G. Lubbin. Sus-
tanning to demonstration ON the ground
that the evidence showed Lubbin had.
while barkeeper. sold liquor TO minors.
In the application Of William Higgins and
P. ]. Walsh the action of the counc was
was reversed at to Higgins on the same
ground as In the Lubbin case, but Walsh,
Higgins partner, was not implicated in
the matter and his case was continued
until Friday to give the remonstrator
time to file a brief in the matter.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21
CANCELS POSTOFFICE RISES
Payne Withdravs Three Thousand Author
ICED Promotions Throughout Country.
LEGAL MAXIMUM or cLtRKs IS REACHED
Postal Probe Continues, Heath BeinE
Notified of TuIIOch Charges on
which Reports Were Ex-
pected Today.

WASHINGTON, May 0.-The promo
tons of over 1900 postofhce clerks through
out the country, recently authorized. were
cancelled today by Mr.. Payne.
First Assistant ostmaster General
Wynne late this afternoon Aported to MIR.
Payne that the tabulation Of clerks in each
grade in postofices of the first class had
been completed. This work was under
taken in accordance with the order to re-
arrange the salaries of clerks already clas-
sihed. so that the number in the several
grades should not exceed the number spe-
officially prescribed By congress. The
former classification was made by George
w. Beavers. just prior to his sudden resig-
nation as chief Of the division of salaries
and allowances.
Clerks Too NumerOus.
The new schedule approved by the post
master general, after transferring 5 per
cent from grades where there are vacan-
cies, as authorized by a recent decision of
the comptroller of the currency, makes II
necessary to cancel S,O46 promotions in the
several grades in which there is an ex-
cess above the legal number and in which
7,40 promotions have been authorized. The
report says:
1t will not be necessary in any case to
reduce any clerk, but simply to cancel 3,O4s
out of 1902 promotions heretofore author
lied to take effect on July 1, 1903. We will
proceed at once to ascertain exactly the
number of promotions In each grade that 1t
will be necessary to cancel at each post
office and will then inform the postmasters
and allow them to secure the Increases
which must be cancelled.
Most OF the excuses in the number in
the respective grades Of clerks scattered
throughout the United States at FIRST class
--.-ga--Na.I a. - - a. eann - - ~
per annum classes. The excuses in grades
are divided among those grades as follows:
Two hundred and hfty-eight excess in the
500 grade, $50 in the 5000 grade. 93s in the
1000 grade, 451 in he q, 100 grade. 243 in
the $500 grade, go in the $500 grade, 50 In
the 81, 400 grade and Is In the $3.50 grade.
Heath Notified of Charges.
The postmaster general today sent to Mr..
Heath a copy of the charges filed by Mr..
Tulloch, together with a letter requesting
any suggestion he may submit or the sub
ject. 1t is the first Official communication
with Mr.. Heath during the Investigation.
None OF the supplemental answers to the
postmaster general giving Mr.. Tulloch's
definite charges have been received.
Auditor Castle Of the Postofice depart
ment was busy today revising the records
of his office in connection with the Tulloch
charges, n will submit his reply to the
postmaster general probably tomorrow aft
ernoon with a request that they be given
publicity.
Captain Castle will confer tomorrow with
Comptroller of the Treasury Tracewell, who
also is preparing a reply to the Tulloch al
legations.
1t is probable that Mr.. Bristow's report
will not be submitted before the close Of
June or the early part of July.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21
DANISH CASHIER ARRESTED
Tracked Across the Water and the
Continent I Oakland,
California.

OAKLAND, Cal, May a.-After being
tracked across the continent, Julius A Jor-
gensen, absconding cashier OF the Copen-
hagen Savings bank of ana his
companion. Miss Johanne Mueller who was
a b~ookkeeper in the same institution. have
been arrested here on a warrant charging
them with embezzlement of 5000 from the
Copenhagen bank some time last month.
The man is also accused of having de-
serted his wife and clipping with the woman
IN whose ompany he was when taken into
custody.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21
STUDENTS IN FREE FIGHT
Many Secure Broken Heads as Outcome Of
SEirttail Parade.
ATTEMPT TO ENTER CARNIVAL GROUNDS
As cke Had Not Been Purchased
Management objected 60 Their
Entering and the Police
Were Called In.
Crrom a stan correspondentl

LINCOLN. May 20~.-(special Telegram)
A tight tonight between about 200 students
Of the State university. fourteen policemen,
a crowd Of showmen and the management
OF the Eagles carnival resulted in break
ing up a shirt-tail parade, the carnival. a
number Of heads and several policemen's
clubs.
The fight started by an attempt of the
students to march through the carnival
grounds in shirt-tail costume, as they had
lone through many OF the stores and no.
tells.
The students injured we're: ]. w. EarieS,
Columbusi Claude F1ansberg, Lincoln; c..
II. Bryan, Fillmore; c. e. Cotton. SYRIA
cuse; c. @. Hruvesky. Geneva; B, 1. Dill.
Franklin, and o. Harmon.
On the other side these were rounded
up among the injured: Richard Minor.
Jack Waldron, F. A. Shelly. Tom Crawford.
a mighty host was knocked down and
slightly cut and bruised. but not SUM-
GENTLY injured to be taken home in hacks.
These students were arrested and re-
leased on their own -recognizance to appear
in police court in the morning: @. A.
Delacey, L. NJ. Huntington and Clyde
Cooper. Huntington was also slightly in
jured.
NJ one was seriously hurt, the principal
injuries DeluB CRACKS on the heau ana
slight scalp wounds.
The students went to the main entrance
OF the carnival grounds about Q o'clock and
started to enter without the formality of
buying tickets. The police pushed them
back and the boys then charged on both
the north and south sides of the grounds
and attempted TO enter through the can
vas. All OF the employees and show people
were sworn In as deputies and the fight
started. Clubs, rocks and everything avail
able was used by both sides and the hght-
ing became general all over the grounds.
One woman was struck in the face by a
brick and slightly cut. Baby carriages
were overturned and a general scramble
was made to get out of the grounds. After
several strenuous minutes the students
were beaten back and driven down the
streets, where they later me in doctors
ofhces. II was thought a second attempt
would be made to carry the carnival
grounds, but a heavy rain began to fall and
the bout. the carnival and everything was
declared of. None OF the regular police
men we're injured.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21
HAIL CAUSES LOSS or lam EYE
Farmer struck while Trying to save
some of His window
Glass.

DAVENPORT. Neb.. May 9O.-(special.)-
One Of the worst hailstorms that has Wis
tied this section Of the state for years
passed south OF here along the river yes
terday. Hail as large as goose eggs fell,
breaking all the glass on the south side Of
residences and damaging gardens. Henry
Huntsmeyer, a well-to-do German farmer,
lost an eye. He was trying to keep the
hall from breaking all the glass in his win
dows by holding a comfort up. when the
hail struck a Vindowpane. SCATTERING It.
n a piece struck min in the eye, cutting
the siEhk entirely out.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21

There is no need Of nyone suffering from
rheumatic pains. Read what Mrs. Anna
HaEelEans of Tuckahoe. N. j., has to say
regarding It: II have derived great beneht
from the use Of Chamberlain's Pain Balm
for rheumatism and lumbago. My husband
used It for sprained back and was also
quickly relieved. In fact it is the best fam
lily liniment / nave ever used. I would not
think Of being without 1t. I have recon-
mended Il 10 many and they always
speak very highly Of 1t and declare its
merits are wonderful"
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21
Girl Drowned while wadinR.

BEATRICE. Neb.. May ao-(special Tele-
gram.)-Miss Earble Murdoch. h 15-year-
daughter OF Captain Murdoch of Wymore,
rowne IN Finks Lake. three miles
southwest OF that place this afternoon.
A party of girls we're holding a school
picnic near the lake n the drowning oc-
cured while they were wading in the
The body was in the water about
hours before It was recovered.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-21
MINING MEN HOLD MEETING
Executive Committee P~reparins Tor
American Mining Com

LEAD. 8. D.. May ~2o.-(special Tele-
gram.)-The executive committed of the
American Mining congress is in session at
Lead. Those present are: ]. H. Richards,
president. Boise; /. w. Russell, first vice
president. Deadwood; E.. r. Buckley, sec
ond vice president, st. Louis. and Irwin
Mahon, secretary. Carlisle, Pa.
President Richards reported that the ar
ticles of Incorporation OF the ongress had
been filed with the secretary of state of
Colorado. The transportation committee
reported that a rate of one fare plus s.
had been granted by the Western Passen-
ger association for the coming session of
the congress in September at Lead and
Deadwood. Invitations are to be extended
the governors of all the states.
The first day Of the session, September
Z, will be Statehood day. Secretary Mahon
has opened headquarters here and will re-
main until after the session.