Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-06-18
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Would-be Artist-Did you get any.
thing for your last poem? Ditto Poet
Yes. l got many happy returns.
Jill-Why do so many little men
marry big women? Jack-They don't
The big women marry the little men.
Her Father-But can you support
Estelle? Enamored Youth-Can /?
Why l have held her on my lap two
hours at a time.
Young Tutter to hostess)-I have
had very pleasant evening. But then
l always manage to enjoy myself no
matter where l am.
He claims to have invented cam
era that makes people prettier than
they are" "How's that?" by simply
making the lens fatter."
man never knows what little in
fluence he has with his women folks
until his daughter falls in love with a
man he can't approve of.
Customer want ton Of coal.
Dealer-Yes, sir. What size? Custom
er-Well, II 1t isn't asking too much,
I'd like to have 1000 pound ton.
Teacher-Now. Freddie. what Is a
volcano? Freddie with great conf
dence)-Oh. know that! It's a noun
tain that interrupts all the time!
Clara-Does Harry help you with the
house cleaning? Harriet-Well he
hangs the pictures crooked and does
the grumbling.-Detroit Free Press.
you say there's a man at the door
wishes to see me. Does he look like a
gentleman" "Well. not exactly like
gentleman, sir; Just something like
yourself"
"Who can tell me the meaning of
leisure?" asked the teacher. Its q
place where married people repent"
replied the boy at the foot of the class.
philadelphia Record.
II can't say that l like Paynter's pic.
lures. Perhaps It's because I don't ap.
preciate them" II don't know. It's
either because you don't appreciate
them or because you dov'
Hell hope you are better to-day. l
thought you were not looking well
when l was at your house yesterday
She-I had rather a bad headache, but
It passed Off soon after you left!
II understand Dashleigh's uncle has
died, leaving him fortune" Yes.
he has received great many congrat-
ulations; why even his tailor sent him
a bunch Of forget-menots yesterday"
"Ah," he sighed, Il was happier
when I was poor" "Well." they an
swered, coldly. ut is always possible
for a man to become poor again" But
somehow the idea did not seem to i'm
press him favorably.
Mr.. Gaswell-"No, didn't take a
lease Of that ground for the new build
ing. The agents asked too much money
for it," Mrs. Gaswell-"But didn't you
tell me they offered to mark it down
to ninety-nine rs?"-Chicago Tri
bune.
A mean fellow: A Georgia exchange
has discovered the meanest man in the
United States. 1t is said that he pump
ed water on his head, let his hair freeze
and then broke it off, rather than pay g
barber for cutting it.-Atlanta Consti
tuition.
you can never run the mill witt
the water that is past" we remarked
trying meanwhile to look extremely
wise. mo: but you can put up anoth
err mill further down stream retortet
the get rich quick man, with consider
able Impotence.
Grandma was showing two-year-old
Helen the picture of young lady in
evening dress. Isn't she pretty la
dy" said grandma. YES" replied the
tot pretty hair. dot bracelet or
ter arm" then she paused, looked al
tue picture seriously. and added. sol
EMMY. an she's all ready for bed
dranma.'-Home Science Magazine.