The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-08-24
THE NONPAREIl MAN

dude without spark arrester. The Sun
story is this:
One of Bernidji's. unsuspecting "Cholly' boys
attempted to light his cig-a-wet against strong
wind the other day without the aid OF spark !
arrester, and small portion of the burning weed
ignited his only available asset-a celiuloid col.
lar. 1t is needless to say that the TRANSPORTATION
that followed was something remarkable and the
transgressor is now in the hospital with symp-
toms of collar-infantum.
Anybody else want to take hand at lit
A story was brought into the Office by
an exchange the other day Of the most
hideous cruelty practiced by a vivisection-
ist on a dog. The details are SO awful
that they cannot be repeated here. The
excuse, Of course, is that the knowledge
gained by this prolonged and unspeakable.
torture on defenseless creature may save;-
human life sometime. I should prefer to
die rather than to have my life saved al
this expense OF agony, wouldn't you?
Charlie Nelson Of Mallard, Mimi, told
the Mallard Call reporter a story that
made his eyes stand out like soldier's'
buttons. It seems that Charlie, while out
hunting last fall, was awakened early ones
morning by the quacking Of a big flock Of
mallard ducks. Selling his gun he rushed
out the door (Which, by the way, opened
QUIT and as it few open the latch Of the
door came in violent contact with the
Uranium of a big black bear, killing him
instantly. On his way to the lake, Charlie
stepped on and killed six rabbits, who
could not run fast enough to keep out OF
his way. Arriving at the lake he let go
both barrels into the flock of ducks, kill
ing thirty-seven of them. The discharged
keeled Charlie over and he landed square
on the back Of a big bull moose, which
| Immediately began running, and after
carrying it's unwelcome burden three days
| and nights and covering something like
thousand miles, returned and expired
| right at the front door Of Charles shack.
| If you don't believe this is SO, you may
ask Andy Nolan, AL Kidder, Jack ellis
| and Paddy MCGEE, who heard Mr.. Nelson
tell this story with their own ears, b'gosh.
| I had another one of those pipe dreams
the other night 1t was between dawn
and waking and the house was so quiet
| that you could hear the pendulum OF
l'grandfather's clock squeak for lack Of
oiling. Every time the canary bird drew
| his breath, 1t sounded like the southwest
wind rising.
We were walking up Nicollet avenue
on Aug. Is, 1870. knew the date because
I had newspaper and was looking at the
headlines. The street wore a very un-
limestone had given place to great granite
and iron blocks whose bases were washed
by a tremendous tide Of traffic.
Arrived at Eighth street was aston
ished to see what appeared like a little
Venice. The entire street from Nicollet
! to Hennepin was water, clean, pure water.
continually renewed. At Nicollet, at Mary
place and at Hennepin, leading into the
street, were fine, hard sand beaches. In
fact the whole street had been given up
to a magnificent swimming pool. All
summer long. the policeman told me, II
was full Of bathers and swimmers. In
the winter, it was, of course, frozen solid
and was used as a street again. Hun
dreds Of boys and men were jumping
from the sidewalks into the water, swim
, ming races from Nicollet to Hennepin OF
sporting on the beaches. 1t was won
derfully refreshing spot in the center OF
great city and furnished no end OF
amusement plea sure and health. The
water came from Mile Laos lake and was
being renewed all the time. The places
along the street were cafes, gaily decor.
ated smoking rooms and refreshment par.
lors with chairs out on the sidewalk al.
ways thronged with people A policeman
stated that the price Of real estate along
this poolside was higher than on any o.
= the nearby streets, SO great was its de.
STABILITY. I forgot was one or two hun.
+ dred years old and we rented bathing
: suits and had gorgeous swim.
The idea isn't so foolish, is it?
A r r