The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11

! food. but mother says she see a sign down
on Halsted sthreet that con-vinces her
she has tn mos stimyIatin' tuck-in.
Anyhow he says, I take great pains
10 see that nawthin' is sarved fr break
fast that amt well advertised an guar
anteed pure firm tn facthry an put up
in blue or green paper boxes he SAYS.
Wen, says I, give me a tub iv Cuff
says III close me eyes an think " an
egg
What dye suppose they give me Hin
nissy2 Mushi NIush. be hivensl What
kind iv mush is this?' says 7. takin' =
mouthful- 1t amt mush.' says Joyce
It's a kind " scientific oatmeal says
he Science says I, has EXTRACTED tn
meal Pass tn ink says I. What dye
want ink FRI says he. Who fver heard
" atm blottin' paper without nike says
l. Ate it, says he Give me me hat
says Where ARE ye gOin'?' he says.
1 frgOt me nose bag says I can't
ate this off a plate Give it to me an
IN harness mesilf up in Cavin's buggy,
have mesilf hitched to a post in front Nv
tn city hall. an injye me breakfast
says 'Ye have a delightful home here
says L Some day I'm goin' TO ask ye TO
take me up in tn kitchen an lave me
fork down some hay fr tn childher- But
oats says. An I whit out 10 Multi
gan's RESTRAINT en- wrapped mesiIf around
buckwheat cakes an sausages tin tn
cook got buckwheat cake makers paraly-
sis
I don't know how people come TO have
this mad passion f'r oats. Whin I was
boy they was on'y ct be horses, an good
horses rayfused thin But soInewan dis
covered that tn more We did TO oats. tn
less they tasted, an that tn less amy
thing tastes, tn betther food It is fr tn
race. So all over TIL country countless
machines is at wUrruk removin' tn flavor
fr' m oats an turnin' thin into breakfast
food Breakfast food Is all We see in tn
cars an on tn billboards. In tn small
cities it's tn principal sport iv tn peO-
pie Where childher wanst looked on tn
boards to see whin tn MINSTREL show.
was comm to town, they now watch fr
IN announcement " tn new breakfast
food. Hogan tot me he was out in De-
catur tn other day an they was eighty
slven kinds iv oats on tn bill ~ fare.
Is they anything goin' on IN this town.
he asst drummer. .Nawthin' ontil tn
eighth, whin OatOOno opens says tn
man People talk about breakfast food
as they used 10 talk about bicycles They
compare an they thrade. A man with tn
1893 model iv high gear oats is tn hwy
" tn neighbOrhOod- All tn sawmills has
been turned into breakfast food facthries.
an tn rip saw has took tn place " tn
miller
'Des it do amy harm, says ye2 Ne'er a
bit country that's goin' to be kit
be food is on its last legs anyhow. Ivry
race has its pecooIyarity. With tn
Rooshyans it's Pass tn tallow candles;
with III Chinese a plate " rice an a
Ci0
breakfast iv VEGETABLE soup. Hungarian
soolash an beer. TIL Frinchman is salts
fled with a rose in his buttOnhole an tin
minyits at tn PLAINLY An Irishman gets
sthroRg on potatoes am an Englishman
dilicate on a sound brea kfast iv roast
beef ham, mutton pie eggs. bacon ail'
'alf-an'-aIf TIL doctors bothers- US too
much about what we put into that mighty
tough OF man-iv-all-wurruk, tn human
stomach Hiven sint mos IL US good di-
gistions. but tn doctors won't let thin
wurruk- TIL strongest race " rough
an'-tumble Americans that liver robbed a
neighbor was raised on pie. I'm f'r pie
mesilf at amy time an at all meals II
food makes amy difference to people how
do I know that all our boosted prosperity
amt based on pie? Says I, lave well
enough alone 1t may be that if we
sarched fr tn cornerstone " American
liberty an progress, we'd find IL was
apple pie with piece " toasted cheese.
People don't have amy thrOuble with
their digestiOns firm atm IT'S thinkin'
makes dysDeDsy; WOrryin about tn rent
Is twinty times worse f'r a mans stomach
thin plum puddin. What's worse stiu is
wOrryin about digestion. Win a man
gets to dOin that all tn oats between
here an Council Bluffs won't save him
Joyce tells me his breakfast food has
made him as strong as a horse" said Mr..
Hennessy.
1t ought to- said Mr.. DOoley. Him
an a horse have tn same food"
Copyright, 1903, by Robert Howard Rus
Sell-)