davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
What Education Will DO

A railway company was erecting q
line of new poles along highway.
One of the men engaged to fill in the
dirt and clear up around the poles was
an Irishman, new at the business and
new to America. He had not got be-
yond his first pole, says the Philadel-
phia Times, but stood bordering how
to dispose of the dirt which had filled
the space now occupied by the pole.
His sense of the fitness of things
must have been strong, for he was
averse to piling the loose dirt around
the base of the pole, as Is the'custom.
A negro wayfarer stopped for match,
and the Irishman asked his advice.
IF 7 was a-doin' dat job, I'd JUS dig
hole bout where you ali standin'
and shovel de dirt into it. Much
'blige"
AS the negro sauntered away the
Irishman scratched his head and MUIR
mured
WELL it's not to be denied that edd
cation has been afther-r dom gr-r-ea
deal for-r tn neygur-rv'
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Much In n Name

An Englishman who has just re-
turned from nm extensive tour through
the east tells a good story in which he
was one Of the principals.
He was one of party at a BANQUET
rendered to the maharajah of Patiala,
at which nearly hundred guests. rep
resenting nearly every branch of In
dian life, We're present AS a special
guest he was seated on the left of the
Indian potentate.
During the meal he noticed that the
latter partook of some fine Cumber-
land ham, and. knowing that it was
contrary to the Indian caste rules to
eat any portion of a pig, he without a
thought asked his highness how il was
he was eating ham.
The maharajah looked at his plate,
then, turning round to his body servant
standing at the back of his chair, said
What am l eatingT'
The servant instantly replied:
Mutton, sahib." And without re.
ferring to the incident again the maha.
rajah continued his meal.
After the banquet the Englishman
related the incident to an Indian judge
and the latter said:
eff that servant had said ham,, he
would have been headless before to-
morrow morning. 1t is advisable not
to notice caste rules when you are with
natives of rank ''-PearSon'S
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
LacemakiHE by Hand.

Making lace by hand is a well de-
veloped art in Paraguay. 1t was taught
the natives 200 years ago by the mis-
sionaries and has been transmitted
from generation to generation till it is
now quite general throughout the re-
public. Some towns are devoted to
making a certain kind of lace. In one
town of 5000 or 5000 inhabitants al
most all the women and children and
many of the men make lace collarettes,
handkerchiefs and ladies' ties. An
other town makes lace embroidery and
others drawn thread work, such as
centerpieces, try mates, teacloths and
doilies. The designs used in making
the lace are taken from the curious
webs of the semitropical spiders that
are so numerous there On this ac-
count it is called 'nanduti,' an Indian
name which means spider web.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Red and Infiamed Eyelils.

Red and infamed lids, lids which
look as though the person had been
keeping very late hours, says recent
periodical, and lids which have little
crusts formed during the night at the
root of the eyelashes, are usually an
indication of low degree of astigma-
tism. In some cases no relief is had
for this condition till proper glasses
are procured. A large proportion of
the cases, however, will be cured by
the following ointment: Yellow oxide
of mercury, three grains; yellow vase
line, one-half ounce; mix thoroughly
and apply a very little to the edge of
the eyelids each night.-Jewelers' Cir
cular- Weekly.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
4 B G. D E + G HIJ K L M
MOP @ r TUV w w
The Ancient Hour.

The early Egyptians divided the day
and night each into twelve hours, Gus
tom adopted by the Jews or the Greeks
probably from the Babylonians. The
day is said to have first been divided
into hours from B. c. 293, when a sun
dial was erected in the temple Of Quiri-
nus at Rome. Previous to the invention
Of water clocks, 3. G. 15S, the time vas
called at Rome by public criers. In
early England one expedient of meas
uring time was by wax candles, three
inches burning an hour. The first per-
feet mechanical clock was not made
until about A. D. 1850. Day began at
sunrise among most of the northern ma
lions, at sunset among the Athenians
and Jews, at midnight among the Ro-
mans, as with us.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15

GENTLEMEN, THIS IS A SOLEMN THING
but I'm goin' to wait and see. I'm
willin' to give Providence a rest, but
want TO see how substitute will
work"
There may be sunthin in it." said
and scratched his head, but | amt
sayin' which side I'm on. If Provi-
dence has been oyerworked, we ought
to let up on her and buy Iightnin
rods, but if she's got day or two in
the week to spare, she might as well
put it in by protectin' the barns around
Jericho as to loaf around. I'd like to
UP my mind"
Elijah Bidweu was supposed to
know all about Providence and other
things, but when appealed to he re
piled:
Don't ask me. Providence works in
strange ways, and l dunno as she's
allus to be depended on. She pulled me
through lung fever when you all
thought I'd die, and l hadn't skarsely
got outdoors ag'in when she bowed
down a shed and killed my yoke of
oxen. She saved my hogs from the
cholera and then turned right around
and fixed things for my old woman to
break her leg
For two weeks nothing else was talk
ed of, and public opinion was about
equally divided. Then. one afternoon.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
His Baby Brother.

Yes, I've got little brother;
Never asked to have him, nuther,
But he's here.
They just went away and bought him,
And last week the doctor brought him.
Weren't that queer?
When l heard the news from Molly,
Why. thought at first twas jolly,
Cause, you see,
/ posed I could go and get him,
And then mamma, course, would let him
Play with me.
But when l had once looked at him,
why" I says, great snakes, is that
him?
Just that mite.''
They said. YES" and, Amt it cum
min? %
He's a sight!
He's so small it's just amazin',
And you'd think he was blazin',
He's so red;
And his nose is like berry,
And he's bald as Uncle Jerry
On his head
Why, he isn't worth brick;
All he does is cry and kick;
He can't stop.
Won't sit up; you can't arrange him:
1 don't see why pa don't change him
At the shop.
Now. we've got to dress and feed him,
And we really didn't need him
More'n frog.
Why d they buy baby brother
When they know To good deal ruther
Have dog?
kansas Farmer
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Che Jericho
Postoffice
Pap Perkins, Postmaster, Tells
Abou: Lightning Rods
Copyright, 1902, by Hiram Haines.l


first lightning rod ever put up in
= Jericho. He had just finished
building new barn when along
came lightning rod wagon all painted
up in bright colors and with pictures
on It,
asks Salathiel as the wagon stopped at
his gate.
There's something heap BETTER"
replied the boss of the outfit. How
many thunderstorms do you have
around here in the course of year.?
"'Bout twenty old busters, l guess,
sayin' nothin' Of a few small ones
thrown in"
"And what prevents your barns and
houses from being struck and burned?'
providence, I'm thinkin'."
"Jest SO. And you folks around here
have been playing it low down on Prov
idence. You've sat In your woodshed
doors or slept in your beds and depend
ed on Providence looking out for your
interests without charging red cent.
You've played the hog till Providence
has got tired and put her back up
She's invented this here lightning rod
to ward off thunderbolts, and if you
won't put up one Providence won't be
responsible for what happens"
The mans line Of argument seemed
to be sound. Salathiel Green didn't be-
lieye in working his hired man or his
horses or oxen into the grave. He felt
that he had made Providence carry a
pretty big burden for good many
years and that she had q right to kick
When he had thought it over for awhile,
he told the lightning rod man to go
ahead, and he planked down the cash
when the rcd was up. The rod itself
attracted a great deal of notice, but
when Salathiel announced that lie had
let up on Providence and was going to
carry his own risk there was turmoil
In Jericho.
Eyes l know we have all put a heap
of burdens on Providence" argued
Deacon Spooner, but what's Provi-
dence for? It was intended that she
should take care of good folks. Her
back is broad, and you needn't fear
about overlooking her She can take
care of all the barns and houses in
Jericho and not lose q wink of sleep"
II sort of hold with Salathiel," added
Moses Grafton. I've been calm on
Providence fur the last forty years. l
called on her fur my first wife and my
second; to save me when | had typhoid
fever; to git my oxen out of the mire;
to save my hay one rainy season; to
do hundred other things fur me- She
may be willin' to keep right along
doin but would it be a fair thing to
ask her? Seems to me I'd better git a
Eghtnin' rod fur my barn and let
Providence take care of the house and
the haystacks"
Gentlemen, this is a solemn thing
a solemn thing" remarked Deacon
Joab Johnson, as the discussion was
renewed at the postofice in the even
ing, land it should be argued in a sol
emn manner. When anybody claims
to have invented anything to take the
place of Providence, we'd better hest
tate little. I've bin over to see Sala-
thiels lightnin' rod. 1t runs from the
ground to the roof and sticks up six
feet above. 1t has q pint to it to
catch the lightnin'. 1t looks all right,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Witty RetOrts.

When the celebrated physician Sir
Henry Holland told Sydney Smith that
he had failed to kill either one of a
brace of pheasants that had risen with
in easy range near the latter's home,
the witty divine asked, why did you
not prescribe for them?''
One day Sir Henry was engaged in
a hot argument with ''Bobus" Smith,
a barrister, concerning the merits of
their respective professions. You will
admit" said Sir Henry, that your
profession does not make angels of
men," NO" retorted Smith, there
you have the best of it,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
No Cause For Woe.

Stokes-Speaking Of mourning, if
your rich uncle were to die, should you
put on black?
Enthusiastically not If he left
me something handsome, why should
I be such a hypocrite as to don the
garb Of woe? On the other hand, if
he left me out of his will, how could
consistently put on mourning for such
a curmudgeon?- Boston Transcript.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
MATRIMONIAL BLISS.
The Ups and Downs of Poor MI.
YounEhusbRnd

The Ups and Downs of Poor Mr..
Younghusb band.
What ups and downs there are in
life, even in one short twelyemonth of
existenceT' gloomily observed -dr.
Younghusband as he climbed out of the
connUbial couch at midnight's chilly
hour. fell over rocking chair and then
Hmpingly made his way toward crib
in which a fretful infant with sole
leather lungs was wildly paving the
atmosphere and emitting hair raising
bowls Of agony
Yes he went on bitterly, reaching
for the complaining bundle Of human
ity in the crib and grading it on his
arm; lone brief year ago | prided my
self on being chief partner in the mat
rimonial firm. Now, hang it, l find /
am only foorwalker in the infant swear
Department.
And with a hoarse chuckle at his own
wit he continued to walk.-New York
Times.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Eraye Men.

Persians in general are not supposed
to be the bravest people in the world,
but even in Persia the inha bitants of
Kashan, mercantile city, are notori-
Gus for their lack of d Warlike spirit.
Their pusillanimity has passed into a
proverb and given rise to many stories.
One Of the best of these is that when
Nadir Shah disbanded his army on its
return from India the 10000 men be-
longing to Kashan and it's sister city
of Ispahan applied for an escort of 100
musketeers to see them safely home.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Defending Her Are.

Heidi you say your father was in
the civil war?
She-Did I say SO? What a silly
blunder! Why, you must think me as
old as the hills. No, dear papa wasn't
in the war. He was just a mere boy
then.
He-Pardon me, but | thought you
said your father was at Gettysburg?
You were telling how hard it was for
him to keep step.
She-Oh, now | know! That was my
pfather.-Cleyeland Plain Dealer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
The Limit.

Don't you think" said the soulful
young thing, chat ruined old church
with the ivy clinging to its crumbling
walls comes nearer than anything else
to realizing ones ideal of patient res
ignation?"
That's what it does" replied the
young man with the camera. Il don't
know anything that will stand for be-
ing photographed half as often. ''-Ex-
change
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
A BfIIviI1e Estimate.
q look.

you see that TALL distinguished look
in man yonder?"
Eyes, l see him.
well, don't you recognize him?"
Never glimpsed him before
"Why, man, that's Bill Spinks; got
to be a great writer; maxim a big SEN
sation all over the country"
THAT amt possible" said the citizen
emphatically, for used to climb apple
trees with him, an him an me used to
go swimmin' Observation-Disclosures Con-
stitution.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
No EiGhf.

Did you know that your political
antagonist had cast reflections on your
truth and veracity?"
yes
What are you going to do about it"
Nothing. My pride forbids me to
fight any one except gentleman, and
a man who calls another a liar is no
gentleman. washing Star.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Great Word Building Contest.

See how many words you can make
out of the letters given below. Do not
use any other letters save those given
You can use proper names, improper
names, verbs nouns, adjectives, prepo-
sitions, conjunctions and articles. Do
not use any one letter more than eight
times in one word Use only nice words
Here are the letters:
ABB D E + G HIJ In
n 0 P Q r S T u Y W x w
Here is your chance! See who can
get up the largest lists of words by
using these letters according to the
rules of the contest. For the first largest
number of words sent in a porterhouse
steak inlaid with turquoises will be
awarded; to the second largest num-
Der, an elastic glass bottle; to the third
pound Of indicated pastry
Every guess must be accompanied by
a coupon from a 4 per cent government
bond.-New York Telegraph.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Took Her Literally,

Elizabeth Cady Stanton was once
giving a piece Of advice to roomful
of young men in little village on the
subject of matrimony. when you
marry" she said, choose a woman
with a spine and sound set of teeth"
Good gracious, Mrs. Stanton" re-
marked one of her listeners in alarm,
do they ever come without spines?"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Rad SneE1sn~

One of the causes to which the prev
alence Of bad spelling among the rising
generation is attributed is the fact that
the modern Roman method of pro-
nouncing Latin gives no direct indica-
ton of the pronunciation of the Eng
lish derivatives and SO no cue to their
spelling, as the English sound of Latin
words did when it was used
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Related.

Professor, want to ask you ques-
ton, if you please
Certainly. Let me hear it,
II want to ask you if your expert
ence leads to the belief that person
who eats a Welsh rabbit should sleep
on a hare mattress ?''-CIeveland Plain
Dealer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
BrSflfanry Versus PIoddinS,

'Some men," said the original philos-
opher, ''see more than others see at
first sight and then devote so much
time and energy to the task of being
pleased with their own brilliancy that
they miss all the benefit of the sober
and maturer second thought that comes
To those less gifted. "-Baltimor Amer
lean.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Imagination Needed.

Scribbler - It doesn't require much
imagination or inventive ability to
write a historical novel.
Scrawler = There's where you are
wrong. It requires a lot of magma
ton to invent the historical part.-Phil-
adelphia Record.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
IMitatOrS.

Little Ethel-Mamma, Mrs. Next
doors children are playin' house in
their garden. Mayn't we play house
in ours?
Mamma-Certainly.
Little Ethel-That'll be lovely. Then
we can quarrel over the back fence
just like real neighbors.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
1t Got Tragic. However.

THAT report of my death is the most
amusing thing On record.' exclaimed
Mr.. Jinks. I've just read my own
obituary in this newspaper"
"Indeed"' said his wife. "And where
does it say you went to-"
And then Mr. Jinks coughed and
kicked the cat and told the coo' put
some more coal on the f. atlanta
Constitution.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15

Gayboy-A fellow can't be too care
full about his letters to women.
Henpeck-That's right A woman got
three letters from me once that have
kept me in hot water ever since.
Gayboy-You don't mean it?
Henpeck-Fact. They were Yes"
Philadelphia Press
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Living VERSES Rooming.

Stranger-How many people live in
this city?
Citizen-About 100000.
"So?' l had thought you had a pop
ulation of at least 100000"
"Ch, so we have. But only about
two-thirds of them live The rest
room and board-Baltimore American.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
His Course Clear.

Say" whispered the conductor to
the motorman, that fat slob with the
jag says if l want his nickel I'll have
to whip him to get it. What'll 1 do?'
'None but the brave deserve the
fare,' replied that worthy as he put
on full speed in an effort to run over
a dog-Houston Post.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
PrnfessionaI sGyice,

Patient-What would you advise me
to do for dyspepsia, doctor?
/ DR.. De Quick-Weli, if you want it
real bad hire a cheap cook and eat ir-
regularly. Two dollars, please!-Chi-
cagO News
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Strenuous Hint.

Borem Ill p. m.)-It is mans en-
durance-his staying qualities, as it
were-that makes him strong.
Miss Cutting (suppressing a yawn)-
Indeed! Then you must be a modern
Samson. Plain Dealer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Another Keyboard to Be Learned

"Oh," despairingly exclaimed the
typewriter girl who was taking her
first lesson on the piano. II don't be
lieve | can ever learn to operate it.
The keyboard's so differentr'- Chicago
Tribune
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
His Classification,

1ngomar Buskin-There's dispute
about my acting. Some critics put it
in the first rank. others in the second.
Now, how would you designate it?
Horatio Jones-I? Oh, I'd simply
designate it as ank!-New York Times.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Handles All the Microbes.

The doctor made a careful examina
ton of the patients symptoms.
"You have what | call the cashiers
disease" he said.
what is that?" asked the patient.
"Well, that is mixture of all the dis
eases."-Chicago Tribune.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
The Wife,

Suppose l We're an absolutely per-
feet woman" she remarked sharply.
'Do you know what you'd do then?"
NO." answered her husband
"What?"
You'd growl because you had moth
ing to growl about
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Judicious Advertising.

Every man must blow his own horn
nowadays, and jud-cious advertising
is the mt horn that enables many to
make themselves heard in the din of
competition.-Jewele Circular Week
In
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
As She Viewed 1t.

Mrs. Dimpleton-Why don't you get
your life insured?
Dimpleton - What's the use? I'm
well enough, and I'll probably outliYe
you.
Mrs Dimpleton : Well, you always
did look on the dark Washington
Times
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15

Damascus is undoubtedly TIC didest
existing city in the world. Benares and
Constantinople, exclusive of Chinese
towns, come next 10 point Of age.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Proved.

"Your son is a philosophical student,
I hear"
Yes, | believe he is. l can't under
stand what he's talking about DE
troit Free Press
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
One Quality FreouentIy Lacking.

do you believe that egotism and
genius go together"
Not always. There would be lot
more genius if they did" = Chicago
Record Herald.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Overheard In the Garden of Eden

You are a nasty, mean, horrid old
thing, SO therer' exclaimed Eve.
81 suppose next you will threaten to
go home to mamma tainted Adam
Then, realizing the bitterness of ma
lures handicap, Eve burst into tears
Philadelphia Record
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15

Tellit-What's that? Why, confound
you, what makes you think | wouldn't
make a good match for your daughter?
Tuem-Well, you fare up too quick;
that's why! See?- Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15

From nettle fiber thread has been
produced so fine that a length of sixty
miles of it weighs but two and a half
pounds. J
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Is One as Rad as the Other!

Poverty is no disgrace" said the
young woman with ideas of her own
NO" said Mrs Cumrocks, sit's no
disgrace. but it certainly is extremely
unfashiona bic. Washington Star
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Tested.
Both Ends of 1t.

Jinks-She's at the head of every
thing that goes on in that family.
RiEks-Then suppose her husband
end Of it Is to foot the bills.-Baltimore
American
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15
Very Willing.

"You asked her father for her hand 81
eyes"
"And he refused you?"
NO. he didn't He said l could have
both of them. ''-Cleyeland Plain Deal
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-15

IIOps
Husband-Er-probably for the same
reason that / married a made up wom-
an.-Chicago News.