Bisbee daily review., 1903-10-15
PIKE COUNTY
 DOINGS
Abe Shorter TeliS Colonel Harper
 About "Cussophone
tcopyr1sht. lsoa by c. B. Lewis.l


 his mule to post in front of V the Pike county courthouse s-., and was about to enter the building when Abe Shorter turned the corner and hastened up to him with:
 "Waal. do deciar' if this ain't Kur- nci Harper! Howdy. kurnel? Jest reck- oned yo' wasn't coming to town again this var"
 ''Howdy, Abe" repeated the colonel as they shook hands. Eve had right smart to do out on the plantation, yc' know. and am in powerful hurry this mawning."
 "Yes. yo' are busy man, Kurnel Harper. and I'm not the one to take up yo'r time. Jest minute. however. These yere Pike county scandaiizers have thrOwed me down again. and l reckoned yo' might want to hear about it.
 ''Shco! Shoo. How was if, Abe:"
 ''I got up last Monday mawning. kur- nel. thinking to put on clean shirt Hunted high and low and then remem- bered that my only other shirt was away in the wash. Sent a black boy down to Mary Greens for it. and what Sort of an answer do yo' reckon she sent back?"
 'YO' owed her a bill. mebbe.''
 ''Yes. kurneI; I owed her 1T cents. and the answer came back that shed hold on to my clean shirt till the bill was paid. Think of that. Kurnel liar per, Did yo' ever hear of the likes since the day yo' was born? Only 17 cents. and me a rising young lawyer in Pike county. and yet she wouldn't send the shirtl''
 ''Purty tough. Abe" replied the colo nei. but of course yo' sent it?''
 ''No. sah; TO. sah. Couldn't do it after that insult to my honah and prin- ciples. saw right away that it wasn't the woman who was throwing me down. but it was these yere scandal izerS who have determined to drive me out of Pike county. I thought I'd beat 'em by getting Il writ of repleyin. but when I went to Squar Jackson for if what do yo' reckon he said? Kurnei Harper. look me in the eye and tell me what yo' reckon lie flung at me?'
 q cant skassly say. Abe. Did he hurt yo'r feelings by saying that yo'd better pay them 11 cents?''
 ''Wofse than that. kurnel. fur worse. He not only refused me the writ, but said that if l had drunk less whisky. done less whittling on pine shingles and had the ambition of toad might now have been standing in the shoes of Cesar Baronius. Kurnel liar per. do yo' know who Cacsar Baronius was?"
 Cant skassly say that 1 ever met up with him, Abe. though I'm pore hand at remembering names. Used to live around we're. did hep
 "Yo' never met up with him, kurncl and there's a good reason for it. Cesar Baronius was born in Naples on the 30th day of October. 153S. and died the 30th of May. 1907. Yo' couldn't very well have met up with man who had been dead POO years when yo' were bon. could yo'?'
 ''Skassly. Abe, skaSsly. When yo' first spoke the name I didn't know but that he had lived around yere. So he's dead. eh?"
 Dead as a doahnail. kurneI-dead befo' single tree had been cut down fin this yere county of Pike. That was the man Squar Jackson thrOwed up t9 me-a man who was bon, buried and turned to dust befo' my grandfather could walk alone. Where was my chance. kurnel; where was my chance? Did live in Naples in the year 1538?' "Don't reckon yo' did. Abe" ''This Caesar Baronius was a histo- rian and a strong writer. and he made a big name fo- himself. He had the show to do it. If I'd been living there and then it might have been neck and