The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-08-28
THE PikERs' LAMENT.
THE NOTE THAT KILLED MOS
oI-ITOES

oUITOES.
To that fair and heart-spent maiden,
1, as one with grief in common.
l, as one acquaint with anguish,
Due TO that low humming insect,
Known to all men as mosquito,
Thought to come from dens inferno.
Planned by Satan when his dinner
Wouldn't do a thing il orter.
When he longed to send to mankind
Something sure TO lure him hither.
Then it was that the mosquito
Was sent forth upon his mission;
But fair maiden, let me tell you,
Tell it TO your ear in secret:
1 have found the note to kill him,
Found the bosom of Elysian;
It's the note of prima donna,
When she thinks she is, but is not,
When she strains and whoops and hollers,
Till the air is filed with wailing,
Such as Dante could describe not,
When she a-a-a's and a-a-as and a-a-a's
sol
Till you want to wiring her neck, so.
Though you know she is a beauty,
Though you know she's rich and winsome,
Yet, with that sound on your ear-drurn,
You will heed not the mosquito,
With his gentle humming, hum-hum,
But you'll find him in the morning
Lying stiff, and still, and stark-like,
Sad, out-sung, he gave the ghost up:
NJ. III. L.
$3.50.
THE Sick Man of Sumner county's'
head was close shaved last week. This
was not the first time.
: 4
The most lively discussion today in
Wichita is what would be the telephone
number of Kermit Roosevelt if he
should die from eating green apples.
+l,;-
''S-1-Green.''
1t has been found that court can be
held on a holiday. but no one has yet
discovered how the judge can play golf
and hold court on the same holiday.
S. IS
On being approached by the committee
on arrangements. who or which was to
arrange for debate on the baby nursing
question between Farmer Georgevitch
Doolittle and Captain Burgess. the former
settled the question with one powerful
period: You can say for me-" said
Farmer Doolittle, that .buttermilk calves
are never as good as those that run with
their nanny.
LATER-The debate has been called off.
Captain Burgess refuses to debate the
question of nursing babies with Farmer
Georgevitch Doolittle He says the
Farmer doesn't know enough about the
subject.
In Kansas. the old saying has been mod
flied to read thus: THERE'S NOTHING
SURE BUT DEATH AND AN IN
CREASE IN TAXES"
-()-()-
On every hand can be heard: THAT fell
lows a brick" and still the cry: "A
shortage in building material.
-l-i-l-
The question with the Democrats just
now seems to be, is Grover Cleveland
Barkis? Which leads the Topeka Herald
to give it as its opinion that he is
Sphinx To which might be added that
Grover is also a good deal Of a Mink.
DIR. Burton on the Family Tree
BE not ashamed of thy birth, then;
thou are q gentleman all the world over,
and shalt be honored, when as he ODE
generes NeoptolemD, strip him of his
fine clothes, dispossess him of his
wealth, is funge (Which POlynices in his
Punishment found true by experience,
gentry was not esteemed) like a piece of
coin in another country, that no man will
take, and shall be condemned. Once
more, though thou be barbarian, born
at Tontonteac, a villain, slave. a Sal
Dasamonquepec, he a French monsieur,
a Spanish don, a seignior of Italy, 1 care
not how descended, of what family, of
what order, baron, count, prince. if thou
be we'll qualified, and he not but a de-
generate Neoptolemus, L tell thee in
word, thou art a man. and he is beast.
-(:)-(0-
IF the GOVERNMENT wants its OF
FICIALS to be SATISFIED with SALA-
RIES and no PICKINGS. it must reduce
the payroll. 1t is only POOR men and
men of SMALL means who ever have
enough.
a Piker with a XANTIPPE for wife
calls her thing of beauty. Asked TO ex-
plain, he declared her a jaw forever.
With PROBABLY. several hundred ex-
ceptions, the following is the most un-
kindest cut of all:
a wichita business man recently COM
mittec suicide and the papers of that
town are at a loss to know why he did it,
Evidently they have not considered the
fact that he lived in Wichita as a possible
cause Topeka Herald.
xxx
Prof. Kruu, of Munich, predicted the
eruption of Vesuvius and the natives
want him expelled for his impertinence.
II is bad enough to endure the terrors of
eruptions without having to suffer the
horrors of anticipation. The trouble
seems to be with the professors tongue,
and not in his evil eye.
..?..?..
NIlo >>>1>1.