davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-05-01
MOTT AYREs' LITTLE JOKE.

Quite contrast in the political ed
itorials in the Sunday News Democrat
and those of yesterday. Get up in the
red band wagon, Urey, there is one
back seat left, ard You and Meaoham
can both occupy it, judging from the
smallness of your size since your
friend Hendrick has sacrificed" his
ambition. Fulton Leader. u
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
SpOttinE Light Fingered Gentry.

A policeman on the lookout for pick
pockets In n crowd docs not watch
hands, but faces. III n person in the
crowd Is paying no attention to the
common center Of attraction, but is en-
gagged In viewing his neighbors' cloth
Ing, that person, he knows, is apt to be
n pickpocket. The suspicion may be
strengthened by the nervous or cau-
tious way in which the thief occasion
ally turns his head. presumably to as
certain IL lie is watched. Pickpockets
never wear gloves and seldom work in
the street in cold weather. for the cold
numbs their fingers.-New York Press.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
Tremendous Rninfa

The annual rainfall on the Khasia
hills. to the northeast of Calcutta.
amounts to some GOO inches. 500 inches
OF which fall In seven months during
the southwest monsoon. 1t is undoubt-
edly the wettest spot on the globe. AS
many as $50 inches have been register
ed In Ave consecutive days, or an aver
age Of thirty inches n day. This as
tonishing amount Is due to the abrupt
ness OF the mountains which face the
bay Of Bengal. from which they are
separated by 200 miles Of low swamps
and marshes.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
Rain Brought No Ora.

ihilip ID. Armour one day received a
very long letter from an agent I'm re.
gard to conditions of trade I'm the coun.
try through which he was travelling.
rage after page was devoted to telling
MS employer that the weather and ~,
certain crop conditions were RESPONSE
Die for the meager orders and not a
lack or energy or perseverance on his
own part. Rain was needed in. TINT
section. With the first downpour hone
would enter into the Respondent COM
munity, and an order commensurate
with the benefits granted to a parched
earth could be expected. Rain saturat-
Cd tn" earth, lengthy letters continued
TO arrive. but no orders.
"llow about ordcrs?" wrote the mer.
chant, who was weary Of footing non.
productive expensive accounts and
reading long letters. Write and let
me know In the fewest possible words
what merchants shy now that they
have rain"
By return mail the famous merchant
received letter which told him I'm a
fcw words the reception accorded the
agent in the newly drcnched territory,
DRY up, old man. dry up"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
A Quecr Tnr of Wnr.

In Burma the inhabitants have n
novel form Of the sport that elsewhere
Is commonly called tug Of war. In the
Burmese game there is rain party
and drought party, which pull one
against the other, the victory Of either
party being considered to have imme-
diate results rs regards the weather.
The drought party. however. obtains
few victories, for the kind of weather
1t represents is commonly not so much
desired rs rain. In the face. therefore,
Of strong public opinion the rain
party is nearly always allowed to win,
the pnlpable ''roping" in the popular
notion being generally followed by n
fcrtiliZing downpour.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
The Change or 1. ,.,,.r


At the period wien Bri;i;., 'o;;,m.;:r,
was threatening To withdraw from III,
Dominion uf Caniti;, bcc;.tiSt. the Cn?
narvOn settlement Eutl brrn iyiiJ;rl H.;
the MackcnZi" administration t,.c lat,
LOrd DuIrcr::I tuOk irrt In u ruh.i
function In Quebec. Willie the uro,rS
sion was moving through tie principal
streets gentleman. brrathHSS witt.
excitement. hurried up to Ids excel
lency's carriage to say "r".mI" arcI.
Ind been placed across the road so us
to identify the viccroy with the up
proval of the disloyal Inscription there.
on. "Can you tell me what words
there arc OH the archi" quietly asked
Dufrerin. "Oh, yes" replied his in.
formant; "they are 'Carnarvon Terms
or Separation. ''Scnd the committee
to me-" commanded his exccllcncy.
Now, gentlemen" said he. with n
smile to the committee. "I'Il 80 under
your beautiful arch OH one condition.
won't ask you to do much, and beg
but trifiing favor. I merely ask that
you alter one letter In your motto
Turn the into an R-make 1t Car.
narvon Terms or Reparation'-and I
will gladly pass under It," The COM
mittee yielded, and eventually Dufferin
contrived to smooth over the difficulties
and to reconcile the malcontents.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06

Every little while we read In the pa
pers TINT some one has stuck rusty
nail In his foot or hand or other portion
OF the body and lockjaw resulted there
from and that the patient died. IL ev-
cry person were aware OF perfect
remedy for all such wounds and would
apply It then such reports would cease.
The remedy is simple, always on hand
and can be applied by any one, and,
what is better, It is infalllble. 1t Is
simply to smoke the wound or any'
bruise or wound that is infamed with
burning wooien cloth. Twenty minutes
In the smoke Will take the pain out of
the worst case Of Inflammation arising
from such wound. People may sneer
at this remedy as much as they please,
but when they are. afflicted by such
wounds just let them try 1t.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
A Danger Signal.

A pair of frightened horses were
dashing madly down the street. The
coachman was saving at the reins
and the carriage was swaying from
side TO side In dangerous fashion.
The occupants Of the vehicle. an elder
~ woman. noted for her extreme par
simonlousness. and her pretty niece,
gave no outward signs Of fear, but
just rs the horses came to a stand.
still the younger woman unexpectedly
tainted.
II wasn't frightened Bit" she cN-
plained after, until. just as we round
ed that last corner with three wheels
in the air, Aunt Caroline exclaimed,
I'D give a dollar to be out Of this!
knew the case must be serious II Aunt
Caroline was beginning to risk dollars
in that fashion"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06

In England, up to 1870, no pictorial
effort had appeared that would not
have made an artist wrlthc in agony
of spirit. When, In 1871, Frederick
Walker designed Il poster in black and
white, advertising Wilkic Collins new
book, "The Woman In White" so much
attention was attracted by 1t that pco-
pie began for the first time to grasp
the Importance Of artistic beauty and
originality as applied to commercial
purposes. Walter Crane followed, ad-
vertising the promenade concert in
Covcnt Garden, the French Hippodrome
and certain champagnes by a series of
colorcd posters which amazed and de-
lighted the public.
But the real home Of the art poster
is France and Its real creator Cheret.
When the rarely effective designs of
this artist first appeared the people Of
Paris snatched them from the bill
boards or wherever else they startled
the eye with their fascInations until
the authorities were compelled to call
the making off with n Cheret poster a
crime.-Mahln's Magazine.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
~ -g ---.
0uiniuc.

Quinine was first introduced into Eu
rope by the wife OF Spaniard who
was viceroy of Peru. Then Jesuits
carried 1t to Rome and throughout
Spain and Italy, proclaiming it an i'm.
fallible remedy for all ills and selling
1t to the rich at unheard Of prices. An
Englishman at last got hold Of some Of
the Quininc powder, cured Charles H.
OF tcrtian fever and on tho strength
Of 1t was appointed court physician
and granted knighthood. Later he
similarly cured the dauphin Of France
and induced Louis NV. to purchase
his Secret" Still the medical faculty
fought against Quininc. Not even the
patent efficacy of the thing could over.
come the fact that 1t was introduced
by one not of themselves. For many
years the contest wagcd. Men faithful
to the faculty died for want OF Quininc.
Others. not caring q snap for the asso.
ciatcd pcdants, took their Quinine and
lived to sec their chidrcn's children
congratulate the medical schools of
their day on climbing down and ad
mitting that quninc was good thing
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06

A story Indicating the great affection
and intense admiration which Lady
BcaconsfieId entertained for her hus-
band Is told as follows: On a certain
day when Lord Beaconsficld. then Mr..
Disracli. had to make an important
speech he and his wife drove to the
house together. Arrived at their destI-
nation, he alighted from the carriage
and shut the door with bang He
stayed some minutes talking to his
wife through the carriage window be-
fore hc bade her farewell and entered
the house. 1t was late at night when
he arrived home. but lie found his wife
waiting for him. He noticed. however,
that her left hand was swathed in
bantlages. On inquiring the cause of
this he learned that when he left her
lie had shut her hand in the carriage
door. and. though she suffered terrible
pain. she had allowed no trace of 1t to
appear OIL her face. knowing that IL
she did her husband would lose that
self comDOsurc which Is necessary to
the delivery Of good speech.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
Getting Even.

Some retaliations are too clever to be
resented. They seem to be almost
logical pnrt of the circumstances that
evoked them.
DIR. Wines, says the Christian Regis
ter. was formerly the principal of n
boys school. One day he had occasion
to trounce lad, who naturally resent
ed the punishment.
On the doctors front door was n
plate bearing the one word "Wines."
That night bold and clever hand add.
ed three words to the inscription, so
that in the morning the doorplatc read
this way: "Wines and Other Lickers."
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
Age Averages.

Here is an estimate of the average
age attained by men in various Euro
pean countries: Norway and Sweden
head the list with fifty years. Then
come England with forty-five and one.
half years; France, forty-four and one.
half; Prussia. thirty-nlne; Wurttem.
berg. thirty7eight; Bavaria and other
parts Of Germany. thirty-six. In Aus
tria and Spain the inhabitants have
the shortest lives, the average age be.
ing only thirty-three.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
GO TO THE RESCUE.
Don't Wait Till It's Too
Late.-FOlIow the Ex-
ample of a Union
Citizen.

Rescue the aching back. If it keeps
on aching trouble comes. Backache is
kidney ache. If you neglect the kid
ney's warning. Look out for urinary
trouble-diabetes. This Union citizen
will show you how to go to the rescue.
]. III. Lindsey. shoemaker, with bust
ness on Main Street, and residing on
Spring Street. says, 81 have been
troubled with very lame back for
quite a while. The kidney secretions
were dark and full of brick-dust sedi-
ment and caused me great inconven-
ience, especially at night, by causing me
to get out of bed 80 often. My back
panied from my hips to my shoulder
blades with a constant pain which at
night would awaken me. did every
thing j knew Of, put on plasters and
linimeIts, used bottle after bottle Of
medicine, but nothing helped me 30
much until got Doan's Kidney Pills at
charm and after using them the first
day went to bed and rested splendidly
all night. Since using Doan's Kidney
Pills / have not had the backache. 1
also tried Doan's Ointment for itching
hemorrhoids FROM which had suffered
for years. IL is impossible to express
the suffering endured, but this won
derful medicine gave me instant relief.
I also used it for a sore which it COM
pletely cured. would not be without
Doan's Ointment if it cost ten times
what it does"
For sale by all dealers. Price SOC per
box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, y. Y,
sole agents for the United states Re-
member the name-DOAN'S-and take
NO other.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
A Shattered Romance.

IL think our teacher Of composition
Is charming, don't you, Emily?"
"Fie, Bertha! That heartless mon
ster? Captivated by his blue eyes the
other day. slipped little affectionate
note in my copy book"
And what did he do?"
HE gave 1t me back with all the
spelling mistakes corrected in red ink"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
The Sincerity OF Advice.

Gabber-Are you going to house
keeping?
Benedict-(Answer drowned by pass
ing carr
Gabber-Thats right. Nothing like
II. Have your own
Benedict said l wasn't.
Gnbber-Oh. well; that's where you're
wise. You'll miss, etc. - Baltimore
American.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
All Will he Discovered,

Barnes Tormcr-I am in a qAandary.
have been offered an engagement by
two managers, and | don't know how
to act
Sue Brette-Well, don't worry. They'll
soon find it out
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
NOT Her Fault.

"Your daughter" said Mrs. Oidcas-
tie. "has such verve. She fairly bub-
bles over with high spirits"
IL know 1t. She gets it from Josiah's
side Of the house. though. My folks
are all strong temperance people,
Chicago Record Herald.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
An AmiRbIe Hint.

An old Scotch woman. when advised
by her minister to take snuff to keep
herself awake during the sermon re-
piled. "Why dinna ye put the SNUFF I'm
the sermon. monT - Seattle Church
man.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
Reversing the Order.

willie-Pa. you don't get chestnuts
until after there's frost, do you?
Pa-Except I'm the case Of q farce
comedy. my son. Then the chcstnuts
come first. and the frost afterward.-
Exchange.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
Nerve.

She with an idea Of choking him Off
There are only two men I'm the world
I could love.
He-Indced! And who is the other
one?
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06

Those who are looking for the easy
berths usually get the hard ones. hut
those who don't mind the hard ones
soon get the easy ones. - Atchison
Globe
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
A Mean Suggestion.

Photographers Assistant-Mrs. Van
Perkins complains that her portraits
don't look like her.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, does she?
She ought to be grateful.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-11-06
Foreth ought.

Husband-You don't mean to say
you paid $3.50 for that gown?
Wife-Oh, no! left that for you
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22
SLEUTHS PLAY TRICK
ON "BAD-EYE jim. :"
Old-Tmer Relates an Experiences
Detectives Frese and Ziegler
Had With q Levee Character.

When Detectives Harry Frese and LOUIS
Ziegier Joined the force. many years ago.
there was one man who considered II
Joke on the department, though he was
good friend Of both men. How ne Wa
taught to regard them as wonderful sieutns
II was in the middle eighces ana eFt ~
and Ziegler we're assigned to duty on tne
river front. James Steiner, known other
wise as "Bad-Eye Jim." conducted saloon
on the Levee, near Pine street;
They called him "Bad-Eye Jim because
he was blind on the left side. HIS otner
eye. however. was as keen Of sight as his pc
boasted that he was better thief-catfher
One day Jim was standing in the sun in
front OF his saloon watching dock hands on
the IIevee rolling potato barrels. when
Ziesler and Frese came by. He vas In
those days. was more alive with traMc than
now. Ziegler walked on his 'on' SIDE.
while Frese engaged him IN an interesting
talk about some possible catastrophe In
poiitics. The subject was well selected.
The willy detectives steered the prospect"
into q sidewalk jam and .neeced" him OF
was interrupted for a moment, but con-
tinued again. and was closed At tho next
On the following day the oficers. were
sent for. They were apparently much sur
prised when Steiner told them his watch
had been stolen. He was considerably
YES" he said mot more than two hours
after you Fellows left I missed my watch.
I think II was my porter. but won't say
so. II you guys are any good you can ind
1t. I'll give you q chance to show what
kind Of metal you are. Find the chronome-
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22
Local Report.

SOS a m. SIS D
Temperature. degrees. 50
1Gmiuity bS
1ireciion OF W.no-..
weather at 659 a. m. clear; at SIS D. M,
clear, Maximum Temperature. Is: minimum tenn
r. J. HYATT
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22
MAN BOUND TO SKATING.
Engineer Cut Belt, but Unfortu-
nate Was Fatally Hurt.

REPUBLIC SPECIAL.
Marceline. No.. March 0--Andrsw CT.
ton died this morning from injuries rsessvsd
In an accident at Buffers elevator. Cottoo
was in the dark basement attempt1n8 10
put belt on . wheel when. IN some Wv,
was bound to the shaftin6 under many
folds of the belt.
30 great was the pressure on the body
engineer. When the bait was cut ana the
man released II was found that his pkpli
places and he was otherVisS sst4iSiy
crushed. He lived twelve hours afts1 IL
accident
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22

the steel trust. And it should not Be for
gotten that the entire cash capital Of the
Globe Company. amounting to 80. 900 00o. was
invested In one undertaking alone, the IN
derground railway In London.
After all Is said I am quite willing to
take the responsibility on my shoulders for
the Spanish War, the war In South Africa,
the trouble In China. the Venezuelan !m-
broglio and the German Industrial depres-
sion. but Ndraw the line At being held re-
sponsible for the failure Of the London and
Globe Company"
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22

ter and I'll give you 80 each. OF coursA I
can find It, but will wait until you have
failed. You've been telling ne about doing
such fine work in this line, now show your
hand"
The watch was returned to him. and ever
afterwards Steiner declared that Efeoe and
Ziegler were the best men In the depart
ment.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22
THE WEATHER.
Official Forecast Announced for
To-Day and To- Morrow.

Washington. March 41.-Forecast for Sun
day and Monday:
Indiana and Illinois-Fair and warmer Sun
day. Monday fair in north; rain In south; fresh
south winds. becoming northwest.
Oklahoma. Indian Territory and Arhansas-
Western Texaa.Fasr Sunday; colder In north
portion Monday fair.
Eastern Teaas-Showers warmer Sunday. Mon
day fair: colder In north portion: fresh south
east winds.
in west and central portions.
Missouri-Fair sunday: colder in northwest
portion Monday fair, except rain In south
Kansas-Fair and colder Sunday. Monday fair.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22

KINLoCH RACE-rRACK PRIVILEGES
Sealed bids will be received up to Thurs
day. March 26. for all privileges for KIM
loch Race Meeting. April Is to May !. These
include bar. restaurant. fruit, frankfurter
for each privilege separately or ~ q Wholo.
Address JOS A. MURPHY, Manager,
II North r ghth sc.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22
FOR INDIaEsrIoN.

Eupepsia Tablets produce the necessary
digestive fluids to restore the process OF
digestion. One tablet before meals Will
digest what you eat: A cure guaranteed or
gists or direct for 50c. 8 nd for tree SAM
pie and treatise on stomach deranGeansnt..
avenue. St. Louis, No.-Adv.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22
Mrs. sanborn's Lecture. ON Cookins

MFn. 6anbOrn's Lectures on COok1nGs
The Twentieth Century luncheons and
lectures. which Mrs. F. Violet Sanborn Is
giving In Bars Food Department each day
at $50 o. m are evidently very entertaining
as we'll as instructive. Judging by the num-
ask questions at the close Of the session.
Mrs. Sanborn knows her theme in practice
an well as theory. and the delicious cakes.
q visit
Such bread is seldom tasted as she makes
every Thursday.
Monday at .. m. Bridal Luncheon win
be served.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22

Drownin6 Dsnoesatls CsnvsnEaoA
REPUBLIC SPECIAL.
Browning. Mo-, March 1.-THE Defnoosa4Q
Of Benton Township met In convention q
the opera-house here this aftsrnoon and
T. Moore; Clerk and Assessor. virHii Eaej
Collector, G. b Gooch; Justices Of IL
Peace. Clark Tharp and I. B. Morris; msn-
q. schrock: Constable. John Gable.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22
SpiF1tuA1tsm.

Cfas. Brockway. demonstrating spirit ne.
turn every Sunday night Henneman Hall.
S72s Olive stree hSsr,f --'n- Is cents, Read.
ings daily at $3.50 Olive street.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22
r. J. HYATT.
Local Forecast Official.


Department of Agriculture Weather Bureau
meteorological observations received at St Louis
p. m. seventy fifth meridian time. Observations
made at the same moment Of time at all stations.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22

O'Nein Elected Commander.
REPUBLIC SPECIAL
Butler. Mo-, March Clamp Marmaduke,
United Confederate Veterans, met here to-
day. Thomas ONein was elected COM
mander and r. c. Smith secretary.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1903-03-22
CITY ITEMS.

THE Mckinley National Memorial Asso-
citation has sent to the CRAWFORD
STORE Q limited number OF copies OF the
Souvenir Certificates (which were gotten up
by the Tiffany Company In AID OF the
Memorial Fund. to be distributed BY D.
CRAWFORD & co. to the admirers OF tho
late President They are to be found at the
Stationery Department. the price being One
Dollar.
Middletown transcript., 1903-06-13
A VALUABLE PUBLICATION

! On June 1st the Passenger Department
of the Pennsylvania Railroad Company
will publish the 1903 edition of the Sum-
mer Excursion Route Book. This work
, is designed to provide the public with de-
scriptiye notes of the principal Summer
resorts of Eastern America, with the best
routes for reaching them, and the rates
of fare. 1t contains all the principal sea.
shore and mountain resorts of the East,
and over seventeen hundred different
routes or combinations Of routes. The
book has been compiled with the greatest
care, and altogether is the most complete
and comprehensive handbook of Summer
travel ever offered to the bublic
The cover is handsome and striking,
printed in colors, and the book contains
several maps, presenting the exact routes
over which tickets are sold. The book
is profusely illustrated with fine half-tone
cuts of scenery at tile various resorts and
along the lines of the Pennsylvania Rail-
road.
On and after June 1st this very inter-
esting book may be procured at any Penn
sylvania Railroad ticket office at the
nominal price of ten cents, or, upon ap-
plication to George w. Boyd, Assistant
General Passenger Agent, Broad Street
Station, Philadelphia, Pa, by mail for
twenty cents.
Middletown transcript., 1903-06-13
REDUCED RATES TO BALTIMORE

For the benefit of those desiring to at
tend the Twentieth Triennial National
Sengerfest of the Northeastern Senger.
bund, at Baltimore, Md, June 15 to 20,
the Pennsylvania Railroad Company
will sell round-trip tickets to Baltimore
from Woodberry, Harrisburg, and inter-
mediate stations, from Columbia, Freder-
ick, and intermediate stations on the
Northern Central Railway, From Lam
caster, Harrisburg, and intermediate
stations, and from all stations on the Phil
adelphia, Baltimore and Washington
Railroad Except stations south of Town
send, Del. }, on June 13, IA, 15, and 16,
good for return passage until June %, in
elusive, at rate of single fare for the
round trip, plus fifty cents.
Side-trip tickets from Baltimore to
Washington and return will be sold and
good going June Is and 10, at rate of
SLIGO for the round trip. These tickets
will be good to return within two days,
date of sale included, and will be valid
on all trains except the Congressional
Limited.