Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-02-21
THELAz|NESS M|CROBE
Might Be Used to Get Lazy
Boys Out Of Bed.
WOULD HELP MOTHERS
WHO HAVE NOT A CHANCE TO
REST THEMSELVES.
What Days Routine Means to the
Women in Many
Families.
WOULD HELP MOTHERS

Written for The Evening Star by Grace DuGie
Boylan.
At last there has been found a way to
get boy up in the morning. He is not
likely to linger beyond a reasonable time
In slumber when he knows that camped
upon his pillow is something far more ter
rible than ghost or goblin ready to pounce
upon him and tweak him by the ear 1t
will not be necessary to go to the door OF
the stairs and call more than once these
dark winter mornings If one happens to
think to add cheerily:
Come, Johnny! The Uncinariacus VIII
get you If you don't get up!''
1t is safe to say that it will not be more
than second before the bare feet will be
out on the floor and moving more swiftly
than they have been won't to move into COW
ering. For no small boy wants to be nipped
in the flower Of his day by a staggering,
snorting Uncin-a-ri-acus.
This terrible beast has been in the world
all the time. but he has only lately been
corraled by a number Of scientific medical
men who have been wondering for years
what made most folks so lazy. There
must be a laziness microbe," they agreed,
and so they began to stalk their game, and
after long time cornered him in a mus
Gle.
1t was an exciting chase, because, when
they had fairly corraled him, they found
that their weapons were of no use at ALL
They couldn't shoot him, because he
wouldn't stand still. If they threw knives
and cut his head off, he at once sprouted a
new head and acquired a Latin plural. And
there was no use trying to lasso a brute
that could tangle them all up in his name.
1t was not until some one thought to I'M
loose the StaphylococcuS Antuncinariae and
sic, him on that the creature was cap
tured.
Since the capture 1t has been discoyered
that there are million billion other
cfnariasi prowling around. Whenever you
see person perpetually tired, the chances
are that he or she has been bitten. But the
bite Is not necessarily fatal. The Staphy
lococcus referred to used to be a germ of
insomnia, but he has reformed and now
stands ready to do man q good turn to
make up for keeping him awake so many
nights But In urgent cases, where he is
too busy to answer a call, there is another
remedy. This may be given to any one who
lacks ambition, or who thinks the world
owes him a living, with excellent results,
and it may be safely administered, accord
Ing to eminent meteorological authorities
who prepared the formula:
Two grams 81 grains) thynlol at am.
Repeat dose at 10 am.
Dose of castor oil or magnesfa at noon.
Diet of milk and soup.
This is warranted to put new ambition
into even the veins Of Georgia noun
taineer, who is called by all men the LATEST
mortal in the world. After few days of
this simple remedy he will begin to split
ties in the great forests about him and take
notice of the glories Of the eternal hills.
And there will be much rejoicing over the
capture and conquest Of the ancinar ria
Americana, as the laziness microbe is
called, because he is really the cause of
most Of the unhappiness and suffering in
the land Of homes.
Since laziness Is a disease It calls for
sympathy. 1t will now be in order for COM