davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
FOUND HIM CUT.
Thought He Had the Grocer TIL row n
OF the Track, But Was
Mistaken.

Mind, l was in a strange town dealing
with strange man, and | tried not to act
strange, and still the fellow found me out, y
said the newly married man, according to
the New York Times. My intended wife
and | had a sentiment about spending our
wedding night in our own home. The honey
moon trip was not to begin till the following
morning. That required laying in a stock
of provisions for breakfast.
"On the morning of the wedding day
called at the nearest grocery store and or
dered supply. There was butter and salt
and eggs and sugar and-well, everybody
knows the string Understand, did every
thing bridegroom is not expected to do TO
throw the fellow off the track. | ordered
things Inland, not from a fool slip of
paper, but from memory. | talked to the
pretty cashier and ate an apple out of a
barrel as If had been born in the place,
like the store cat. Everything conceivable
did, and thought l had the grocer COM
pletely fooled when, on handing me the
packages, he said:
well, sir, hope you'll give US -FOUR trade
when you get settled"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
A GenuIne CInch.

"You cannot possibly escape me-" he
she looked at him with disdainful defiance
in her glance II know you are beautiful
and l am poor; that you are wealthy
and l am homely; that you are good and
l am as bad as any one could imagine Yet
as there is really decent, deserving fell
low after you, and as we are characters in
a decadent novel, he shall be thrown over
and his heart shattered, and ] shall win
you at the last. There is no help for it
there is no help for it. l am the real
Zero, though it is all huge farce to me-"
Seeing the force of his logic, and wishing
TO save the author a lot of agony and
the readers lot of suspense and hard
work, she surrendered, hateful as the task
appeared to her-Baltimore American.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

In 1899 The Sangerlust celebrated its
fiftieth anniversary with a large cele
bration in New York City. The follow
ing is his testimony:
About two years ago / caught
severe cold while travelling and which
settled into catarrh of the bronchial
tubes, and so affected my voice that |
was obliged to cancel my engagements.
In distress | was advised to try Peruna,
and although had never used a patent
medicine before. | sent for bottle.
words but lily describe my surprise
to find that within a few days l was
greatly relieved, and within three
weeks | was entirely recovered. | am
never without it now. and take an oc-
casional dose when feel run down.
Julian Weisslitz.
If you do not derive prompt and sat
isfactory results from the use of Pc
runa write at once to DIR. Hartman, Civ
ing a full statement of your case and
he will be pleased to give you his valu-
able advice gratis
Address DR.. Hartman, President of
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus,
Ohio.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
JUST BECAUSE.

1t isn't that your yellow curls
Are of such golden sheen:
1t isn't, oh, my queen of girls,
That YOU are seventeen:
1t isn't that-you winning elf
Your laughing eyes are blue,
It's just because YOU are yourself
That 1 love YOU!
1t isn't for your rosebud lips
That oft have chung TO mine:
1t isn't for those vagrant sips
OF loves and life's red Wine:
It's for no stacks of golden pelf,
All. no; my love is true,
It's just because YOU are yourself
That / love YOU,
Give al your charms to other girls,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
Little, But Terrible.

1t will astonish the victims of the grip
to learn that the bacillus of that dread
disease is only one-sixteen-thousandt OF
an inch in length and about one.ejghty-
thousandth of an inch in width. The gem
demic has been that the bacillus must bo
OF at least the size of sea serpent,-St.
Louis Republic.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
Little, but Terrible.

It will astonish the victims of the grip
to learn that the bacillus of that dread
disease is only one-sixteen-thousandth of
an inch in length and about one,eighty-
thousandth of an inch in width. The gen
demic has been that the bacillus must be
OF at least the size of sea serpent.-St.
Louis Republic
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
Thought She Knew.

John she complained, You never
tell me any mere that | am your guild
ing star"
Il didn't think it was necessary
since you've got to dragging me
around by the ear to keep YOU in
formed concerning our relative posi-
tions. Chicago Record-Herald.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

colored and showing "brick-dust-like"
deposit. Urination is infrequent, too
frequent or excessive. You should
heed these danger signals before
chronic complications set in-Dia-
betes, Dropsy, Bright's disease. Take
Doan's Kidney Pills in time and the
cure is simple.
J. T. Wainwright, of the firm of
Bones & Wainwright, painters and
contractors, Pulaski Va, says: -Four
or five times year for the
past few years I have suffered
with severe attacks of pain in my
back, caused from kidney trouble.
During these spells / was in such
misery from the constant pain and
aching that it was almost impossible
for me to stoop or straighten, and it
really seemed as if the whole small
Of my back had given away. At
times I also had difficulty with the
kidney secretions which were dis
colored, irregular and scalding, and I
was also greatly distressed with
headaches and dizziness. / used
q number of recommended rene
dies but / never found anything so
successful as Doan's Kidney Pills.
When heard of item had an at
tack and procured box of them. In
few days the pain and lameness dis
appeared, the trouble with the kid
Ley secretions was corrected and my
system was improved generally. [
have every confidence in Doan's Kid
ney Pills
A FREE TRIAL of this great kid
ney medicine which cured Mr.. Vain
wright will be mailed to any part of
the United States on application.
Address Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo,
n. Y. For sale by all druggists, price
SO cents per box.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
No Good Will.

did Johnson 5 purchase include also
the good will of the business?'
There wasn't any good will to it.
1t was a coal dealer that johnson
bought out Syracuse Herald.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

Cant | serve you some nice curried
eggs this morning, SIR asked the OBJ.
sequious waiter.
''Curried eggs?" repeated the guest.
"What have [ strucka mares nest?'--
Judge.
Hope and hustle enable man to gain
his ends.-Chicago Daily News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
What Uncle Reuben Saws:

1t was Deacon White, of our church,
who was gwine to sell his mewl an send
de price to de benighted heather of Africa,
but he was saved de trubble by some be,
nghted heather of America stealth de ami
NAL an wheelbarrer to boot.-Detrdit
Free Press
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
Mother Gray's sweet Powders

For Children, used by Mother Gray, a nurse
in Children's Home, New York, break up
Colds, cure Feverishness, Constipation,
Stomach and Teething Disorders, and de-
stroy Worms. All Druggists 25c. Sample
FREE. Address A S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, n. Y T..
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
TWO SIGNALS.

There a T e
( w o serious
sign a l S of
kidney ills.
The first sig
n al c o m e s
from the back
with nuner-
Gus aches and
pail s. The
second signal
comes in the
kidney secre-
ii on & I h q
urine is thin
and pale or
Ann Il rr u 1 Y.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

What do you put on your face after
shaving?" asked the man VINO smelled of
bay rum. Court plaster, usually" re-
natl Commercial Gazette.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
And let them revel in

And let them revel in
The golden glory of your curls.
Your blue eyes. rose leaf skin,
And still, you wild, enchanting elf
You know what 1 would do!
It's just because you are yourself
That l love you,
j. NJ. Lewis. in Houston Post.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
Preferred to Be Alive.

Cholly-Charming widow, isn't she?
They say she is to marry again.
Algy-I wouldn't want to be a widows
second husband.
We'll, Id rather be widows second
husband than her first, doncherknow.' =
Loadon Tit-Bits.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

Always look for this Trade Mark: ''The
Klean, Kool Kitchen Kind" The Stoves
without smoke, ashes or heat. Make COM
Portable cooking
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

To Cure n Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money ifitfa ais to cure. 25c
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

Funny thing about self-made men"
whats that?" They never have
daughters who care for eelf-made dresses.
Philadelphia Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

The fellow who sits down and waits for
his rich relations to die must consider
that they are worth their wait in gold
Philadelphia Record
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

Gerald-"Will nothing move you?
Geraldine You talk to me as if / were
an automobile. Town Topics.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

Pe-r"-na Preventive and Cure for Colds.
Mr.. c. F.. Given, Sussex, n. b., Vice
President of The Pastime Boating
Club" writes:
whenever the cold weather sets in
have for years past been very sure 10
catch Il severe cold which was hard to
throw off, and which would leave after
effects ON my constitution the most of
the winter.
Last winter I was advised to try
Peruna, and within five days the cold
was broken up and in five days more /
was well man. | recommended it to
several of my friends and all speak the
highest praise for it. There is nothing
Ike Peruna for catarrhal affiliations.
Ii is WeH nigh i'm faIIibIe as q cure, and
/ gladly endorse it, "---C. r. Given.
Prominent Singer Saved From Loss of
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

A light head seldom, if ever sheds any
light-Chicago Journal
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken of
as a cough cure, W; ,O'Brien, 322 Third
Ave, n, MinneapoIis, Mimi, Jan. 6, 1900.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

Responsibility is not conferred by wealth
alone.-Chicago Journal
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16

Mr.. Julian Weisslitz. 175 Seneca
street, Buffalo. n. Y. is corresponding
secretary Of The Sangerlust. of New
York; is the leading second bass of the
Sangerlust, the largest German singing
society of New York and also the oldest
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-04-16
n w edIfh of
Golden Hair
BY MARY s. PADEN.

Copyright, 1908, by Daily Story Pub Coz
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1903-02-04
Fancy Dress MASQUERADE Ball.

The st. Margaret's Guild of the Epis-
copal church will give fancy dress
masquerade ball on the evening of Feb
ruary II. The last dance given by these
popular young ladies' vas pleasing sue
cess both socially and financially, and
the ball on the 18th will surely prove a
winner. A cotillion will begin at 10 80
O'Clock when everyone will be requested
to unmask. The affair is to be invita-
tional.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1903-02-04

Absolutely painless extraction of
teeth no cocaine used no after effects.
Don't forget the place. DR.. Stephenson,
Janeck building. PAT
For Sale-A good Harrington piano ;
cost $425; will take 1865 cash; piano
can be seen at Claude Briggs music
store. 1t
Wanted ALI kinds of secondhand
goods; will pay highest possible prices.
d. B Fox, % South Second street.
Wanted.-A girl for general house.
work; no children; three in family.
105 North Third street.
j. S. Williams of Parker, was in the
city on business last Saturday.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1903-02-04

If your grocery order is left with John
Otter at Mulhollan's old stand, it will
receive prompt attention.
Prof C. F. Heimbaugh, magnet
healer has never lost fever patient
Also treats chronic ailments. Phone
1l43. Aft
Absolutely painless extraction of
teeth; no cocaine used no after effects.
Don't forget the place. DR.. Stephenson,
Janeck building. 2-4t
Send in trial order for groceries to
John Differs new store at Mulhollan's
old stand. A fine fresh stock just re-
ceived.
Potato and onion sacks for sale. Yak
ina Produce Co., opposite depot. 49-tf
DR.. Brock, the dentist. has moved his
office to the new Sloan building, corner
First street and Yakima avenue. 1-tf
kruger's celebrated orchard remedy
for sale at Cases drug store. 49tf
First-class boarding house board and
rooms. 30S South Second street. Mrs.
f. M. Lambert. blow
Grain and sold at Mill company's feed
ware house west of depot. phone 32l
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1903-02-04
MARRIAGES..
MorehOuSe-Cllmore

In The Dalles, Oregon, Wednesday,
Jan. IA, 1903, occurred the wedding of
Miss Alice Gilmore and Mr.. w. c..
Morehouse. The bride is well known
young lady in this city and daughter of
w. D. Gilmore now residing here. She
has been visiting with her aunt, Mrs.
Judge Fulton of Sherman county for
some time. Mr.. Morehouse is a pros
porous young farmer with a respected
reputation.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1903-02-04
A Change-About Proposition.

The Yakima National bank and: the
Yakima Hardware Company will prob
ably be until the first of next Septem-
Der in getting their buildings erected
and moved into ready for business.
The prime movement to be made is the
erection of the hardware company's
brick and stone two-story with base
ment structure where the old car
riage and paint shop now sits
at the rear of their present location.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1903-02-04

Justice Taggard united in wedlock on
Saturday, January 81, Mr.. William
Harrington and Mrs. Ella d. Collet. The
combined ages of the couple was 80
years, the groom being SIS and the bride
A. A son of the former and daughter
of the latter were the only witnesses.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1903-02-04
Much Better Service.

Postmaster Lemon has made public
the fact that in the future the post off ce
will not close its doors until O'Clock in
the evening. The general delivery win
dow will be open from s a. m. until 7
p. m, but those holding boxes may Sc
cure mail as late as o'clock.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1903-02-04

When this has been completed most of
the hardware stock will be removed to
the new building to permit the easier
moving of the old structure out into
South First street, so that the bank Of
ficials may commence their stone front
on the corner.
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1903-02-04

Buringame OF North Third street, died
Sunday without any previous signs of
sickness. This makes two horses that
have died within week in that neigh
borhood under suspicious circumstances.
In view of the fact that some human
fend last week cut horse to pieces
with an ak on the other side of the
track, it would seem that it was time to
hold post mOrlem on the deceased
animals above mentioned to ascertain
the cause of death.
John H. Wiley, the veteran Second
street blacksmith, has received news
from his attorney in Minneapolis to the
effect that he has been granted pen
sion. Mr.. Wiley will receive back pen
sion at the rate of IS per month from
May s, 1901.
Heinze's demonstration will be at
Pearson's store next Friday and Satur-
day. Ladies should take advantage of
his presence in this city, and call and
see some of the dainty table delicacies
prepared by this chef
The society of Minnesotans will hold
a meeting this evening at the Office of
DR. Wells. Steps will be taken at this
session lookin, toward social and ban
ouet for all x-Minnesotans.
Rev. J. Gihring, who conducted SER
vices at Kennewick last Sunday after
noon, will hold regular services here
next Sunday at the usual time and place.
Sunday school, $3.50 to 10 80; both Ger
man and English.
William white, ex-polce officer,
swore out a complaint against colored
man Tuesday morning charging him
with assault and battery. The negro is
held pending investigation.
Mr.. Augustus Pratt and wife of Los
Angeles, Cal, are here at the Yakima
for few weeks to enjoy the exhilarating
climatic conditions of the famous Yak
ina valley.
r. NJ. Badger, who came here to at
tend the funeral of his brother, A. NJ.
Badger, two weeks ago, returned on
Tuesday to his home in Pendleton, Ore,
after visit among relatives here.
f. L. Sessions, undertaken, can be had
night or day. His line of undertaking
goods is strictly the latest yet shown III
the city. Ring up either residence or
office.
The Ladies Aid Society of the Presby-
terrain church cleared over 500 as re-
suit of the elegant chicken pie dinner
served to the public Saturday.
Messrs. T. r. Fisher and A. L. Aiken
spent few days the latter part of the
week hunting along the river in the
lower Yakima country.
William B. Kohlman and family of
Chicago, kinspeople of G. Blumenthal
and family, returned east yesterday
afternoon after a two weeks visit.
w. F. Brown was county seat visitor
hailing from Zillah. He appeared on
the register of the Hotel Bartholet.
Tuesday.
"Stray Beauties" earliest of potatoes.
Get what you want for seed at the Yak
ina Produce Co. s, opposite depot. 5-tf
Wanted.-All kinds OF secondhand
goods; will pay highest possible prices.
d. B. Fox. % South Second street.
Not the Rev. Tickner. No, no; but
his son will take your photograph. F. j.
Tickner, Weed block.
Herbert Gilbaugh, Sessions under
taker, made business trip to Ellens-
burg on Mondays
Born, to Mr.. and Mrs. Wynne Bull
lock, on Friday, January 80, a son.
In fever cases ring up phone No. ll43 !
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1903-02-04

Young man who wants to learn the
business before buying, would like place
on fruit or poultry farm. Will stay the
year through Address R. B., care of
A. T. Richardson, Rural Route No. =.
rot
The Yakima herald. [volume] (North Yakima, W.T. [Wash.]) 1889-1914, 1903-02-04
PETER BEAUTROW,
Contractor and Builder,
and House Mover.

Am now ready to take contracts for
the moving of buildings. Office l419
Yakima Ave, with G.. T. Aumiller.
The first party having building
moved can get it done at half price.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1903-11-05

that controls large gold interests in Brit
ish Columbia and has its main office IN
the Prudential building on Broad street
Newark. Mr.. Cheeseworth says
"A few years ago | was almost aFneryous
wreck from oyerwork and study. Nv
folks became alarmed at my condition
fearful that perhaps / might be drifting
into consumption. They called in a doc
tor who told me what the trouble was.
"The physician said il was quite 4
severe prostration case and prescribed d.
Williams Pink Pills for Pale People. 1
started TO take them and soon began %
feel better. The improvement continued
and kept on taking the pills until. within
a short time, ! had regained my health
know that DIR. Williams Pink Pnls
brought me back to complete health: they
are my standard family medicine
DR.. Williams Pink Pills for Pale peopIs
are sold at fifty cents a box, or six boxes
for two dollars and City cents. and may e
had OF all druggists. or direct by mai
from DIR. Williams Medicine Compsny.
Schenectady, y. Y. They are never sd
in bulk or BY the hundred.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1903-11-05
One Last Pretty Pretenee.
Tvs The Northheld News:

Says The Mortified News:
''ln all the recent discussion of the
obey clause in the marriage cere-
mony, there has been no objection to
the newspaper phrase that The bride
was led to the altar
A mere concession 10 appearances,
the last bewitching flutter OF charm
ing pretence before the bride begins
TO run things herself 1t is part OF the
dramatic entities Of spectacular church
weddings that the bride shall play the
startled-iawn role on the way TO the
altar. She is supposed to "look the
part of the captured bride of tradi-
ton and the comic opera stage. over
come by pretty confusion and
radiant with maidenly bushes, as she
spreads her train carefully ont behind
her and minces down the aisle toward
the bashful man in a spike-tail whose
hands are sweating through bis kid
gloves and whose every intellectual
fibre is straining and Juggling away at
hopeless paretic OF a memory that
cannot tell whether the ring is in his
vest pocket or at home on the bureau.
She floats thitherward like an eestatic
vision on French-heels, with all the
intoxicating bewilderment of contra
dictory feminine coyness that makes
mo" mean yes and all the people
who rise while she passes (some of
whom would not even give her seat
in street car on any other oecasion)
whisper 10 each other that she Is
maidenly modest. indeed, and that the
groom Is supposed to have some
money.
But this Ruth-like-whither-thou-
goest-Ewill-go or Minnehaha-like-I
neutrality-suspicious. business
is assembling, utter feminine dis
sembling, pure and simple, and who
can dissemble like a woman F? II is as
meaningless as two women kissing
each other at street corner. The
bride may be lied to the ALTAR bnt
the groom is led away from il ever
after as long as they both shall live
lhe groom says his last 81 willr at the
altar. After that it is II wilt.n-rSt /
Adams Messenger.
No Imagination, even that of the
fertile writer of the above. could be
equal to this. And yet Bro. Greene
appears happy.
Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1903-11-05
The MONA TREATMENT
Flesh Forming Food In Tablet Form
That Increases Flesh--Guaranteee
by r. e. Bryan.


The discovery OF Mi-o-na, the remark.
able transforming food that builds Up
good, healthy, solid flesh and makes thin
ness and scrawniness a thing Of the past
has revolutionized medical practice in Ger
tain lines.
It's power to do all that is claimed for
was so clearly proven to f. r. Bryan that
ne has sold Mi-o-na with the understand
ing that il II fails the purchase price was
to be refunded,
+. r. Bryan certainly exhibited courage
IN taxing up this method OF selling MIRO
ma, but the results have fully proven hs
Judgment that the Mi-o-na treatment ioi
stomach troubles, emaciation. general
weakness and rundown condition IS ths
only efiicacious and reliable cure.
Ml-o-na possesses healing and soothing
qualities that make it especially valuable
IN cases of chronic indigestion and dys-
pepsia. Two or three tablets taken eacn
day la connection with the regular fooo
prove i true flesh former.
All that many woman lacks TO be posi-
tlvely pretty is little more flesh on PEI
lace. To look haggard or not fat is never
becoming. The use Of Mi-o-na will eur
With every Soc. box OF Mi-o-na that T.
=. Bryan sells, he will give a written
promise to refund the money II it does nol
give an increase i'm flesh and restore
strength. What trifiing cost this is i y
makes you well; II ii fails, the expense
absolutely nothing. 5-l9