The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1903-02-01
THE LEOPARD PLAYS POLITICS.
And is Turned Down by the Chameleon Who
Wins in Walk
Copyright, 1903, by w. r. Hearst
(BY DOROTHY DIX.)

who prided himself upon being a Living
Porous Plaster that stuck to a Thlng
until the Skin came off. In the same
Neighborhood it CHANGED there also
dwelt Chameleon, who was Headllner
as a Lightning Change Artist, and one
| day the Two met and began stringing
each other.
81 do not wish to give you the Roast,
said the Leopard, cor to hurl Bouquets at
myself but it makes me Sore to see a
Crea ture who is a Turncoat and for
whom YOU have to get Search Warrant
every time you wish to ascertain his Po-
siton in Politics, or to find out what
new piece of Calico he is chasing. Why
do you not emulate my noble and Con-
sistent example and stick to your own
Spots?"
oh / don't know. you are not the
only adhesive Thing in the Pantry" re-
piled the Chameleon, "and I have OBJ
served that while Sticky Things have
staying Powers, they are seldom Good
Runners. Moreover, as far as | can
frame it up, Consistency is merely hold
ing on to a Proposition because you
have not Sense enough to know when to
Let Co"
Il,
swelling out his Chest, and assuming q
mournful aspect, been one of those whose
Hearts are built on the European Hotel
Plan, with Rooms to Let. On the con-
trary, in my Early Youth l loved a Fair
but Tickle Bearess, who gave me the
Icy Mitt, but l have been faithful to
her Memory, and have never turned by
Optics on a Female since"
Alas" replied the Chameleon, T.,
also. had a similar experience in my
youth, but the Female who can change
her Mind and transfer her Heart to an
other with more neatness and dispatch
than / can has to be a sooner, and so,
instead of wearing the Willow, | got out
and hOt-footed it after another charmer.
| do not see the good in sitting under a
Tree and doing out the Brine for the
Knotty Apple you can't get, when the
Woods are full Of Peaches
an the same way" went on the Loop
ard patting himself on the Back, al
though have met many Agreeable Crea
lures who offered me the Glad Hand and
would have Passed me into their Lodge,
| have turned them down for those /
knew in my Youth"
Back to the Home for Incurable I'm
beciles," cried the Chameleon, "for my
experience teaches me that the Old
Friend graft is the greatest Con Game
going, and that those who know you in
your Youth always Knock you for your
Luck and Hammer you for your failures
You can sometimes Bamboozle Il New
Friend into thinking you are Great, but
an Old Friend knows better. Besides.
Friendship is like a suit of clothes, and
if you fatten up, you outgrow it,"
I'm my Business" continued the
Leopard as he blew off steam, Il have al
ways pursued the same Admirable Tao
ties. When l started out to chase the
nimble Samoleon 1 struck the Gait set
by my Respected Grandfather, and I
have kept at the same lick ever since.
have not wasted my Dough on Advertis-
ing, or Labor Saving Devices, or Cater
ing to Meretrici0us Public Taste, but
have been perfectly consistent in all my
dealings. and every one knows where to
find me-"
You can always find Old Stick in the
Mud" responded the Chameleon, land
apprehend that the reason that you are
on the Bum is because you got left by
the Procession. Now 1 have rolled up
hard as you. but when there was any
change in the methods of doing Things 1
was there to deliver the Goods. More
over, l have sat upon the top of the
Weather Vane, and when l felt a New
Thing coming I blew in ahead Of he
Crowd and staked out all the Corner
lots"
Now it happened that about this time
it was up to the Voter OF tie 'StcCnth
Ward to save the country by clecting
Councilman, and the Leopard and the
Chameleon We're put up as Rival Candi-
dates for the office.
"Oh, this is too easy" said the Loop
ard to his Friends. "beatir; The Chalne-
leon is like shaking dice to please the
Baby. I have only to toll the Inteli-
gent Voters that he has always been
on both sides of the Fence in Politics,
when he wasn't Stradde of IT, and point
tC my own unblemished Record of Con-
sistency to have him showed under at
the Polls"
With this the Leopard went forth and
begun haranguing the Public about Dead
Issues, but they would hot stand for it.
Come off" they cried, "and get a
Move on you, for while it is TRUE we
once believed that Theory, we have got
different Line on it now, and we DO
not care to Resurrect any old Corpscs
But cried the Leopard, have you no
Respect for Old Ideals"
"NOt on your life" they replied.
when we can get Better New One.
and with that they weu1 over to where
the Chameleon was Icing Juggling Act