davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28
TOLD AT TABLE.

The humorous boarder looked
around the table, relates the Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
"I have a conundrum," he said,
''to which desire to call your won
dering attention"
"What's the answer ?" chuckled
the minded boarder.
Zone at time," remarked the hu-
morous boarder. 81 want to deal
fairly with you. If I gave you the
answer you'd never guess the ques-
ton. You won't guess it any quick
er if I turn it the other way, but it
looks better. What's the difference
between a dog that bites its kind
master and girl whose father has re-
fused to give her pony cart?"
"What kind of dog?" inquired
the serious boarder.
"Just any kind of a dog. Give
it up?"
"Wait," cried the feeble-minded
boarder. II think I've heard this
before. Yes, l remember it now.
The difference is that the dog is mad
and so is the girl"
Nothing of the Sort" cried the
humorous boarder. "Come, come,
does everybody give it up?"
"Break it to us" cried the land
lady.
"The difference is" cried the hu-
morous boarder, "that one is a heart
less cur and the other is a cartless
her"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

great noise of people clapping their
hands and stamping their feet, fairly
bewildered poor country-bred Daisy.
A great hush, and softly, familiar
as mothers voice, there fell upon
Daisy's ear the notes of violin, bear
ing out upon the air the melody of
Reuben's Carnival of the Birds.
She looked up then and met the
soft dark eyes of her lover watching
her face as he drew his bow across
the strings. Not sound but the
! music of the wondrous violin broke
the stiffness of the vast room, where
one mans genius kept the crowd
spellbound.
1t was over, and the great violinist
bowed and was gone. Again the
deafening, tumultuous applause, and
Reuben was back again, playing an
air unfamiliar to Daisy, but seeming
to answer all the deep joy of his
soul.
Twice Reuben played, recalled each
time, and then the concert was over,
and their escort led Uncle Josiah back
to the carriage, Daisy clinging fast to
his arm. At the door of their private
parlor the new friend bade them good
night, and opening the door they
stood face to face with Reuben. Not
the pale, sad boy of year ago, but a
man, self-re1iant, glad and noble, one
who had found his life-work and was
doing it we'll.
Uncle Josiah found the strap of his
glove almost unmanageble while Ret
ben clasped Daisy in his arms, and
low, tender words fell from the lips
of both.
But when Reuben, clasping Daisy
still, held out his hand, the farmer
grasped it hard.
"No doubt I was an old fool, Reu-
ben," he said; but Pm not too old
to learn"
And Reuben, over the dainty sup
per that was presently served, told
them how his violin had won him
fame and gold-more than Uncle Jo-
siah had imagined a man could earn
in ten years.
"I have an offer to go abroad,
uncle" Reuben said, "and if 1 accept
it I must sail next month. May 1
take Daisy"
eyes, lad. You've kept your prom
ise-I'1l keep mine"
"You are my guests this week, and
then am free till we sail, so we may
go home for the wedding" Reuben
said.
And Uncle Josiah, with inward
misgivings about the boy, yielded to
Daisy's pleading face and consented
to the argument.
A week of sightseeing, shopping,
intense happiness, with three of the
concerts, where Daisy's heart was
divided between love and pride. and
then away to the farm.
There was a quiet wedding, and
Aunt Polly went over the long sep
aration to come, but the little bride
had no misgivings when she turned
her face from her old home to cross
the wide ocean with her husband.
And Reuben in his greatest triumphs,
when crowned heads were bent to
listen to the voice of his genius, would
ever turn his eyes to where in some
quiet corner he knew Daisy, too, lis
tened 10 his violin.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28
GUEssEs AT TRUTH.

Many a woman is so shallow and
artificial that her husband tires of
her as soon as he has grown familiar
with her tricks.
Apprehension of the future depicts
everything but the thing that hap
pens.
Pleasure, habitually pursued, turns
to weariness and disgust. 1t is en-
joyable only when followed with dis
cretion.
Emotionalism is commonly inter-
preted as feeling. But the eye may
moisten, the lip culver, the voice
tremble, while the heart remains un-
moved. Disordered nerves are no
sign of active benevolence.
Doing good to others often causes
unhappiness through the ingratitude
of those to whom the good is done.
Women devoted to society are apt
to become clever actresses, and their
husbands Indifferent spectators.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28
SMILES WILL COST YOU NOTHING.

Oh, let's put away the worry and the heartaches
for awhile
And look upon the sunny side of life,
And meet each rugged obstacle with just q
pleasant smile,
And forget about the troubles and the strife.
Let's be glad, and we'll be happy, and the cares
will fly away,
And we'll only see unclouded skies of blue,
For remember that smile is worth heartache
any day,
And glad smiles cost you nothng-heart-
aches do.
Don't be grieving over errors that have been
made in the past.
But resolutely face the glad today;
We will meet with some discomforts but these
trials seldom last,
If we smile the doubts and borrowed fears
away.
Let's go singing on life's journey with heart
that's glad and light.
Filling other lives with joy and sunshine, too.
And remember that smile is worth heart
ache any day,
And glad smiles cost you nothing-heart-
aches do.
E. a. B., in Los Angeles Record.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28
THE STOLEN ENG.
BY FLORA STEWART EMORY.

Their love was so sweet and trust
ing perhaps because they were so
very young. He called on her quite
regularly andeven took her to church.
He sometimes carried cane and al
ways wore kid gloves. She wore
mittens.
The grown-up folks smiled to them
selves. They, the children-lovers
were so very young.
The long summer evenings found
them in the hammock down under
the big apple tree. Uncle Dick found
them there, too, but he stole back to
the house very quietly. He had in
tended to have hearty laugh at their
expense, but he did not after all.
He forgot to tell her papa and mann
ma; instead he looked long and
searchingly into the other sisters
eyes. She, too, was in love Yes,
the love was the same in wee Beat
rice's eyes, only sweeter and more
trusting.
The time for parting had come.
The boy-lover was going back to
military school and Beatrice was cry
ing softly. "You will forget me, "
she sobbed.
Hugh drew himself up proudly;
he was four foot eight when he did
that. 'No, I will not forget you,
darling,'' he said placing a shining
ring on her chubby finger. "Wear
this until I am a man and then we
will marry" She clutched wildly at
his blue coat but he tore himself
away. She looked down on the
beautiful, glittering stone and found,
too, a bright brass button in her
hand. She kissed them both then
went into the house. Every one was
sitting on the porch as she hastened
to her little bedroom.
A week later her father told them
all that Hugh had stolen ring from
Morch's store. GA clerk saw him
take it and reported it at once to Mr..
Morch," he said, not noticing the
frightened look that sprang into
Beatrice's eyes. She was glad she
had hid the ring, but how was she to
save her lover from prison?
After lunch she hurried down to the
big jewelry store, first concealing the
ring in her pocket. She went
straight to Mr.. Morch. ooh, sir,
indeed he did not mean to steal"
she said, he only wanted us to be
engaged, you know. have brought
it back, SO please don't put him in
prison."
Mr.. Morck looked wonderingly at
the brass ring Beatrice held out to
him. Her choking speech and the
piece of glass puzzled him. Then
suddenly he understood.
"My dear little girl, l suppose you
mean Hugh Hill" he said, wiping a
suspicious moisture from his eyes,
e'but he did not take ring from me /;
the clerk who reported him is the
guilty one. have explained and
apologized to Hugh's father"
Out from the pretty case of genu-
inc stones Mr.. Morch selected tiny
diamond. "Wear this, little one"
he said, until Hugh comes home to
stay, and if he does not appreciate
the wealth Of love you have saved for
him then he will be less of man
than he was when a boy"
X X X X X X
Ten years later Hugh placed
broad band of plain gold over the
tiny diamond ring. Around the
brides neck hangs, close to her
heart, ten-cent brass circle, its crude
setting lost, but not its beautiful
meaning.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28
WHY ARE WE AL1vEs

At it's first session in Washington
recently the American Public Health
Association was informed that "the
air in sleeping cars becomes vitiated"
and that these conveyances care fruit
full sources of diseases" The bac-
teriologists are constantly making it
harder and harder for the ordinary
man to understand why he is alive.
In fact if the disease germs which
science assures us now are lurking
everywhere-in our drinking water,
in Our milk, in our fruit, in Our veg
etables, in our clothing, in Our letters,
in cur theatre tickets, in our sleeping
car berths-have existed always, it is
difficult for the ordinary man to un-
derstand why his ancestors were not
annihilated some thousands of years
before he was born. If the disease
germs are as active today as the bac-
teriologists say they are, they must
have been fully as active away back
in the stone age, when the best fami-
lies drank surface water, ate weeds,
and enjoyed the best of health and
spirits. They must have swarmed
by the billion in the homes of the
mound builders and cave dwellers.
The castles of the feudal baronS must
have swarmed with disease germs.
And in later days, VIXEN the families
from which Our very best and fire.
quently very healthiest citizens have
sprung, cooked, ate and slept in one
room on the ground floor Of log
cabin when children slept four or
five in a trundle bed when santa
ton, except in its very crudest form,
was unknown, the disease germs must
have revelled in perpetual feast.
And yet, as we know, population
increased; children were vigorous,
men were robust, women were bux-
ON in fact, Notwithstanding their
ignorance of the sanitary laws which
have since been enacted for the pres
ervation Of the race, our ancestors
were fairly healthy. There is little
question that we all should have been
dead long ago, or that the great ma
jority of us would rather have been
born, if something had not interven-
ed to prevent the disease germs from
annihilating those who came before
us. They must have been saved by
widespread lack of knowledge con-
corning things which they were bet
ter off for not knowing or even sus-
pecting.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

IT WAS in the office Of the Boomer
Brothers, dealers in lots in the new
Bulrush Addition to Gasville.
They were prospering nightly.
Owing principally to the beautiful
maps and plats prepared by their Of
fee man, who was an artist in his
way.
"Ah," said the elder of the Boom
er Brothers, "when we show a pros
pective victim one of Drawem's plats,
we've Just the same as got the money
in our pockets. T"
eyes" said the other Boomer
Brother, he's worth his weight IN gold
to u.s."
And yet how ignorant were they
of metalurgy
For the man who was working dill
igently with his rulers and colored
pencils in the adjoining Office was
merely plating 'em.
"Is IT NOT fact" said the lee
turer, warming with his subject,
"that, owing to the efeminacy of our
modern ways of living, our men are
becoming physically smaller and
smaller every year 7"
Eyes p responded halter in the
audience.
mo |" shouted number of shoe
makers.
SHE-It must be awful to be buried
alive-squeezed in coffin and un-
able to move.
He-Yes, indeed. I tell you, Jane,
there are worse places than this fat,
if you only stop to think about it.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28
PITrsBURG, Pa.

A GOOD looking, well-to-do Spring
field bachelor, who was being teased
by the young women of the club for
not marrying, offered to make the
girl whom the club should elect, his
wife, just to show them that he was
not averse to matrimony. Each girl
went to corner and wrote her choice
an a piece of paper, Disgusting her
handwriting. There were nine mem-
bers of the club, and the result show
ed one vote for each member. The
young man is still bachelor, but the
club is broken up and its members
are all mad at one another.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

"WHAr IS a synonym ?" asked
teacher.
"Please, SIR" said lad, ''it's
word you can use in place of another
if yot1 don't know how to spell the
other one."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

HE-''I had no idea that this was
the most expensive restaurant in
town." She-''What makes you
think it ISL" He-"Didn't you
choose it?"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

'SoME PEOPLE," said Uncle Eben,
"is kind O. unlucky in gittin' de kind
O. friends dat is always wantin' favors
instid O. de kin dat is always tryin'
to do favors.''
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

Mr.. TwIcEwED-"It's funny to
me that people can ever look upon
marriage as lottery"
Miss Youngthing-"How delight
full to hear man speak like that !
Now, tell us why you think as you
do of it."
M. Twicewed-"Why, in lotteries
there are prizes. "
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

AN FRESHMAN was walking with a
friend past jewelry shop The win
dow was filled with precious stones.
Wouldn't you like to have your
pick ?" asked Larry. "Not me pick, !"
said Mike. "but me shovel"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

THE EDITORS son was seemingly
struggling with perplexing problem.
He moved uneasily on his hobby
horse and finally twisted all the name
off his steed. Then he crawled up
on his fathers knee and, looking in
quiringly in his face, said:
''Pa, what is a Journalistic"
"My son." said the editor as he
meditatively stroked the golden head
of his offspring ''my son, a journal
ist is a man who wears plug hat
and no shoes and borrows money
from newspaper men,"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

A GENTLEMAN with a Bourbon
blush stood near the scene of the fire.
He was speaking in tones and words
of undisguised admiration Of the work
of Captain Bartell and his men.
"I nevah," he declared, "saw any
thing noah thoroughly put out in so
shoht a time-I nevah, by ged, sab !"
"Humph," remarked smart kid
who stood near, II guess, from yer
looks youse'd be purity thoroughly
put out yerself, if somebody were ter
turn stream O. real worter inter ye. "
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

A WOMAN went into butcher shop
and ordered three cents worth OF
liver. The market man misunder-
stood her, and asked, "Did you say
two cents worth?" She replied, and
said it in tones that meant, eff you
don't want my trade, I shall transfer
it to somebody who appreciates good
thing when he has it"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

REMEMBER, woman is most perfect
when most womanly.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

CHAT MAN boasts of having left
politics a poorer man than he was
when he entered it."
"H'm," answered Senator Sor-
ghum. "He evidently regards poll
tics as being something like the game
called hearts, in which the person
taking the lowest number of tricks
wins
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

CHARLEY, DEAR" said young
Mrs. Torkins, didn't I overhear you
tell that man that you were going to
plunge again? %
eyes"
"Well, I'm glad to hear it. I'd so
much rather you'd go swimming than
60 to the races"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-11-28

Oh, here's fact that's sad to write
Or mention, more's the pity,
The pretty girls are never bright,
And bright ones-never pretty.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30
ATHENA, OCTOBER 80, 1903

Now that ocean freights have declined
to the lowest point on record, and every
port in the civilized world is crowded
with idle tonnage seeking employment
at rates 10 many cases below the cost of
operation, the main argument OF the
subsidy y-seekers has been demolished.
The subsidy scheme reached high tide
in its prospects few years ago, when
unparalleled commercial development
all over the world caused temporary
scarcity Of shipping and rates advanced
accordingly. Even at that time, there
was nothing in the situation which pre-
sented anything but the fimsiest argu-
ment in favor of the subsidy. France
had subsidized marine which was ex-
tracing toll from the taxpayers by
means OF law almost exactly similar to
the one Griscom, Morgan ct al. were en-
deavoring to foist on the Americans,
but her merchant marine was so busy
making long voyages to foreign coun-
tries for the purpose Of earning mileage
bounties that the Frenchmen were COM
PEELED to ship the greater part Of their
freight under sslliien alien flags.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30

When 1t was recently announced that
Lieutenant Governor Tillman of South
Carolina had been acquitted Of the
charge OF numbering Editor Gonzales,
the general impression was that there
had been a miscarriage OF justice. The
prevailing opinion was that one man had
shot down another man in cold blood
and ought to be punished for it. II was
perhaps difficult for people at distance
to Judge fairly of the merits of the case,
but the conclusions reached by those
people coincide with those formed by
South Carolinians who are on the scene
and in position to pass intellgentiy
upon the action OF the jury that acquit-
ted the accused. The Charleston News
and Courier, the most important and
conservative paper in the state, is great
ly dissatisfied with the verdict and de-
clares that the belief ofnearly the entire
state is that the murder of Gonzales was
premeditated.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30
reight under ssilieen iiags.

AT last the two-mlnute trotting horse
has arrived. When Cresceus came with
in two and quarter seconds OF this
much-dreamed- of mark two years ago,
even experts said that horse-hesh could
not be trained to do any better. But
twice has Lou Dillon easily captured
the laurels from Cresceus, making the
mile in 1883 and the last quarter in
the still more remarkable time of %
seconds. Yet this wonderful feat ere
ates none of the popular interest and
excitement that marked Dexter's Attn
in 1867, the 2:084 Of Maud s. in 1885,
or even the 2:04 of Nancy Hanks in
1892. This doubtlees is due to less
ened popular interest in trotting, main
ly through diversion to ether and newer
sports. But the horseman will tell us
that the achievement of Lou Dillon
marks distinct advance in breeding
and training, as we'll as in the conditions
under which such records are made.
And the more we think it over the more
wonderful it seems that a horse can trot
mile in two minutes.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30

II is announced that a young woman
of Spokane, having thrown a baseball
2l4 feet and one inch, she now stands in
class all by herself with no competitor
nearer than 26 feet, This is about as
near as a competitor or anybody else
would care to approach toward her
strong right arm.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30
Drying preparations simply devel.

Drying preparations simply devel-
OPP dry catarrh; they dry up the secretions,
which adhere to the membrane and decom-
pose, causing far more serious trouble than
the ordinary form Of catarrh. Avoid oil dry
ing inhalants, fumes, smokes and snuiTs
and use that which oleanses, soothes and
heals. Ely's Cream Balm is such remedy
and will cure catarrh or cold in the head
easily and pleasantly, A trial size will be
mailed for 10 cents. All druggists sell the
900. size. Ely Brothers, Sc Warren St., NY.
The Balm cures without pain, does not
irritate or cause sneezing. II tspreads itself
over an irritated and angry surface, reliev-
ing Immediately the painful Inflammation.
With Ely's Cream Balm you are armed
against Nasal Catarrh and Hay Fever.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30

Despite the unusually active building
operations Of last year, there has been a
vast amount of construction this season
throughout the Inland Empire. The
Improvements Of 1902 were manifestly
not sufficient TO meet rapidly growing
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30

All communications should be addressed to
1 ie PRESS Athena, Oregon
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30

The investigating committee Of the
Missouri legislature has been found
guilty of Offering to accept bribes. II
il now in order to investigate the COM
mittee investigating the investigating
committee. Those Missourians have to
be shown.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30
Better Than Pills.

The question has been asked In what
way are Chamberlain's Stomach and
Liver Tablets superior to the ordinary
cathartic and liver pills? Our answer
is-They are easier and more pleasant
to take and their effect is SO gentle and
SO agreeable that one hardly realizes
that it is produced by medicine. Then
they not only move the bowels but i'm
prove the appetite and aid the digestion.
For sale at 25 cents per bottle by all
druggists.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30

The Baker Herald is going after a
class OF republicans who recognize the
value Of newspaper only when they
need political aid, and turn it down at
other times. The Herald seems to have
a good case.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30

With the friendly help Of Mr.. Rookie
feller and other well known citizens,
young Cornelius Vanderbilt has just
"made" S1O,OOO,0OO in the stock mar
ket. Who lost it?
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30

demand, and during the entire summer
new building blocks and residences have
been going up in all the enterprisiDg
cities and towns from northeastern Ore
gon to the boundary line.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30

II you desire q good complexion use
Moki Tea, pure herb drink. 1t acts
on the liver and makes the skin smooth
and clear. Cures sick headache. 25c
and Soc. Money refunded if it does not
satisfy you. Write to w. HI. Hooker &
Co., Buffalo, N. Y, for free sample. For
sale by Mcbride & Co.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30

An Idaho Judge sentenced a man to
the penitentiary for fourteen years for
lying, and regretted that he could not
give him longer sentence.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1903-10-30

In would be a great joke if Boston
should be obliged to send to the Phil
ippines for Goldfish.