Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-12-09

| ,.o~e-e>~~S~-s
she-They say she is fairly throwing
herself at his head. Hell suppose
she's heard he's good catch!-Smart
Set.
Alike-They say Tim Cassidy died
without TIL aid av docthor. Pat
Well, Tim was always handy lad at
anything. Judge.
Not Her Weapon: as your wife
club woman, Mixer" marry the likes
o that, sor; she uses flatiron, sor."
| Detroit Free Press.
what possessed her to marry him,
wonderY' "Well, you know how
hard it is to get good caddies nova
days."-Brooklyn Life.
I'm afraid she isn't cut out for a
society woman" "Why not?" well.
she seems to have no idea Of the pleas
ures of extravaganza. Detroit Free
| Press.
Just as Good: Sporting Editor-Our
best football reporter is sick and can't
so to the game. Managing Editor
Never mind; we'll send the war CORE.
pondent.-Judge.
But" protested the man, 81 have
admitted that was wrong. Isn't that
enough?" NO." replied the woman:
'you must also admit that I was
right. Chicago Daily News.
| A Slight Difference: Nora-Oi towld
thot installment mon thot he naden't
call so often. Mistress-Did he take
the hint? Nora-No, mum; he took tn
Observation-Disclosures Record.
Departing Traveler-How much for
lunch? Landlady-Well, am in the
habit of charging eighteen pence. Tray
eller-Wcll, it's bad habit; here's
shilling. Good-day.-Tit-B Bits.
DR.. Jinks-I suppose you must have
lost some of your patients by being in
Europe for SO many months. DIR. Kent
Yes, confound it! Ten or dozen Of
them got well.-Boston Transcript.
Miss Rose-It is wonder you don't
take wife, Mr.. sapp. Mr.. sapp-
Well. you see, only make enough to
support one. Miss Roswell. 1t isn't
necessary for you to take two wives.
she-They haven't found name for
/, that baby in the fiat upstairs yet. He
The one that cries so? Eyes"
don't know why. The neighbors have
called 1t everything they could think
OFF,
IBID you tell Clarence you would
cut him off without cent IL he mar.
ried that girl?" NO" answered the
wise father, "the idiot would marry
her in spite of that. told the girl"
Indianapolis Sun.
| In Society,": "They say Miss R is
brilliant conversatlonalist." Indeed
she is. She told me the whole story Of
her life in five seconds" Talk In
shorthand" mo. Showed me her
bank book"-Baltimore World.
"They tell me 81 AIedder's son Bill
hez bin sent ter TIL Legislature"
Nope; Bills in the penitentiary for
boss stealin'." "Great snakes! Why
is it folks alters want ter make things
out wuss than they really is?"-Judge.
Mrs. Newliwed-Bridget, we'll have
fried eggs for breakfast, and
Bridget-We can't, mum, there's not
mn egg in the house. Mrs. Newliwed--
Well, then, just make an, omelet. I
like that better Observation-Disclosures
Press
Smith-How old is your son. Jones !?
Jones-He'll be q tomorrow. Smith
Hes certainly credit to you. Jones
We'll. he ought to be. spent If
teen years in bringing him up and six
more in calling him Chicago
News.
Mamma-Oh, see, Willie, your little
brother can stand all alone. Aren't you
glad? Willie aged 6)-Surc! Now
1 ran get him to hold an apple on his
heau while / shoot it of with my bow
land arrow, can't I?-Philadelphia
Ledger.
Tickled the Kids: Lady Ito applicant
for position of nursemaid) Why were
you discharged from your last placed
Applicant-Because sometimes fone
got to wash the children, mum. Chorus
Of Children-oh, mamma, please en-
gage her!-Tit-Bits.
'NIr. Henpecque. let me introduce
you. to the Count de Dope" "Ah,
eet eez re honor to meet a musician.
l hear, sar. Eat you an your family
play re music" why, don't know
the first thing about music" But
hear Get all around Eat you play second
fiddle to your wifev'
Unabashed: Irate Parent want
you to get outsof here and never dark
Ell my door again. II had sick cat.
wouldn't send for you! Imperturba-
BILE Physician-Of course not. You'd
send for my brother, the veterinary,
who lives over ON the street next to
the one live on. Here's one Of his
cards.--Baltimore American.
Miss Askew-So your marriage is
put Off Miss Crummy-Yes, papa is
not at all satisfied with his position;
mamma doesn't like his family connec-
tons; auntie thinks he is too careless
in his dress, and think Miss
Askew-Yes, what do you think? Miss
Crummy-I think ought to wait till
he asks me.-Town and Country.
A careless gossip: Miss Ilidder-
They've only been married six months,
but whenever her husband goes away
on business trip she's delighted, and
prepares to have good time. Miss
Meanley-Ah! Do you know sus.
pected something like that? l always
said Miss Kidder-Yes. You see.
he takes her with him.-Philadelphia
Ledger.
Between Heat and Cold.
What difference and yet what SIM,
llarity between the balmy days of