Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-02-21
M0RGAN'S JOLLY ROAST
Gridiron Club Gave the Finan-
cier Best Time of His Life.
vI0TIH OF LAUGHABLE EXITS,

shop Represeating. His OIcc Open
cd. with Guests as Customers.
"say. Hanna. had the time Of my
life last night"
beginning to Ike newspaper men
at lastg remarked the Ohio senator.
Mr. Morgan hesitated a moment and
then replied, Il can say that i like
newspaper men quite ms much as they
Ike me. but Of all the dinners / ever
sat down to the Gridiron club dinner
last night takes the palm"
You remind me Of a parrot that
once learned 70 talk the morning after
a Gremcn's dinner at Akron. o. All
he lcarsd was ooh, mamma, mamma,
what a time we Lad! Say. ~pop-ha,ha,
ha.'"
This is part of a conversation that
took place about 10 o'clock the other
morning In Washington when j. Pier
pont Morgan and Senator Hanna Of
Ohio. two Of the subjects Of much of
the mockery and jest that prevailed at
the Gridiron club dinner the night be,
fore. met at the breakfast table In the
Arlington hotel, says the New York
Herald.
Mr.. Morgan had been the feature of
the dinner. lie accepted the invitation
several weeks ago when the Gridiron
club decided 20 make its annual din
ner a feast to "the captains of iudus-
try"
The Gridiron club, which is com
posed Of Washington newspaper CORE
s~pondents and has entertained every
president who has been In the White
House during nearly twenty years. al
ways makes a great feature of its an
nual dinner. The members are no re-
specters Of dignity. Every man who
attends is dinners. ever the president,
knows perfectly well that the humor-
Gus side of his character will be por-
trryed In one way or another.
1t is all very good sport. 1t is given
in fun and received in fun. one of the
rules OF the club is, Ladies' are al.
ways present: reporters never" This
means that coarse jest or insinuation is
never permitted and that any speaker
can use the utmost freedom of express
sion without fear of his words being
printed or repeated beyond the walls
of the banquet han.
when the guests were seated, Mr..
Morgan found himself at the left hand
Of William L. Curtis. the new president
81 tho club. Tie tables had been ar
ranged IN the form Of an enormous
gridiron. Each guest found before hirl
u small golden easel, to which was AZ
tached n g-ldiron calendar. Each Of a
dozen prominent guests had his picture
published under some month with al
appropriate verse.
February had been reserved for Mr..
Morgan, who was depicted with for
eign potentates kneeling around him,
each offering his crown to the great
American inancier. This verse ac-
companied Mr.. Morgan's picture;
Though kings and nabobs slam,
Our king is as close as a clam;
They may offer their crowns,
Their smiles or their frowns.
But Morgan he doesn't care.
Senator German was accorded March.
lie was mounted ON a Democratic don
key, with a finger and "A smile both
pointed in the direction OF the capitol,
and this is what the calendar said
about Senator German:
Arthur Pue. Arthur Pue.
What In the worlds the matter with your
We heard Of you downed.
Unseated, uncrowned,
And now you are back with the gridiron
crew.
A. J. Cassatt, president OF the Penn
gylvania railroad, figured under April.
lie was depicted as placing an elabo-
rate union station at the center Of con
verging railroad lines. The verse read.
There was a good man called cassatt.
Who never knew where he was at
TIL he promised a station
That beat all creation,
And then he remarked. Island Pat
Clement A. Griscom. president of the
International Steamship combination,
appeared as May and was dressed In a
sailor suit. Mr.. Griscom was trimmed
up 10 thS style:
little 80 Pips has lost his ships
And doesn't know where to find thcrn.
let them alone, and they Will como home
with a subsidy behind them.
Soua.o. Lanua, as June, was dressed
rs q circus clown leaouul the G. O. T..
elephant. astride Of which sat Presi
dent Roosevelt. Senator Hanna march.
ed to this music:
The slickest man in all the show
Marcus \. Hanna stands.
He says no word. he has, you know,
An elephant on his hands,
Shafts began to fly at the heads OF
the captains of industry" when the
president Of the club was i%nauguratcd
Ferdinand and Isabella appeared on
the throne Of Spain, and Columbus
was brought In to give an account OF
his w~anderings and discoveries. Hs
was asked by the queen what he had
lone with the money raised by hook
ing her diamonds. He replied In fear
aud trembling that he had dropped Il
on IN United states steal" He an
nounced that he had discovered n tpus.
during his W. lerinc. which was {
bunch of moray entirely SURROUNDED
nv watar" and nm arbitration. Whicl