davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Altxhred Too Soon.

It had taken considerable persuasion
to induce the old lady to trust herself
in an automobile; but finally she con.
sented because. says the Automobile
Magazine, she was anxious to reach
the bedside of her sick grandchild in
a village some twenty miles away.
The owner Of the big automobile.
who was touring through Long Island,
had been very kind about 1t. He
CHANGED to be near the station when
the old lady found she had missed her
train, and when he overheard heE
lamentations he insisted that she
should accompany him. His route lay
through that particular one Of the half
dozen Long Island villages named
Hampton where the sick grandchild
lay.
They started at last, and everything
went well until, in attempting to pass
a wagon which occupied most Of the
road, the flying automobile went unex-
pectedly into the ditch. and rather vio-
lently deposited it's occupants in an
adjoining field.
Recovering from the shock, although
somewhat confused from the rather
unusual method Of alighting. the old
lady asked Of the chagrined chauffeur:
sis this a-a-a Hampton"
mo. ma'am." he managed to gasp;
"this is an accident"
30 dear" said the old lady. 'Then
I hadn't oughter have got out here,
had II"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
FARMING IN ALASKA.

~N<$Sseo-SrSr<SeS~
Although much has been written In
ridicule and condemnation Of the gov
ernment seed distribution. one portion
of the country believes In 1t emphatic
ally. During the past year the govern
ment has given seeds of hardy vegeta-
bles. early grains, clover. grass and
flower seeds to seven hundred and fifty
settlers in different parts Of Alaska.
So difficult Is it to obtain seeds in the
far north that without such provision
few would attempt gardening. Miners
and prospectors on the rivers and
creeks far in the interior report that
their home produce not only greatly
reduces the cost Of living. but in a
land of canned goods is an important
factor in good health.
An Indian farmer reports that he is
raising a world of cabbage" another
that he lived all last summer on vege-
tables from government seed; a third
that his strawberries from government
runners were i've and half inches In
circumference. A white miner at
Skagway declares his hardy flowers
''the finest grown anywhere" another.
that pumpkin vine grew twenty-four
inches in twenty-four hours. In VAL
dez, where in twelve weeks they had
only six fine days, gardens were still
a source Of pleasure and profit, and a
delight to summer tourists. AT Cold
foot. one hundred miles north of the
Arctic circle, the United States COM
missioner had good success with tur-
nips, lettuce and radishes, at a time
when potatoes were 45 cents pound
at the grocery. At Point Barrow, in
the extreme north, twenty ty-seven days
after seeding, the harvesting of let
tuce and radishes began. Their condi-
ton was perfect. the large amount of
atmospheric electricity and the stimu-
lating force of the summer sun caus-
ing marvellous rapidity of growth.
The Finlanders who, under Russian
persecution, are leaving their native
land in large numbers. desire to settle
In Alaska, where the climate is SINH
lar to their own. A site for their set
tlement has been selected on the Kenai
peninsula, lands have been surveyed,
some houses put up and crops started
from government seed. If Alaska sue
ceeds in securing large immigration
Of the sturdy and industrious Firms,
her development will be vastly aug
mented.
Meanwhile emigrants from the
States are alive to opportunities in our
northern territory. Five thousand pas
sengers have already been carried to
Nome alone this summer, the influx
seeming to justify President Roose-
velt's prediction that Alaska will one
day be as populous as the Scandina-
Wan peninsula. 1854
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
President Diaz.

Outside of Mexico there is a gener-
al impression that because President
Diaz is now seventy-three years old
he must be failing and that at best he
can last, but a little time longer. "On
the contrary" says man who has just
returned from a business trip to the
sister republic, "half a minutes talk
with the general will dispel any such
notion. He is of Oaxaca Indian
blood, tribe noted for longevity and
physical prowess."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
.rhe Nebuiar ffypothesis.

The nebular hypothesis survives in
name, but with cannotations indefinite
ly diversified. Regarding the modus
operandi of cosmic change there is no
concensus Of opinion. That there was
in the beginning solar nebular all
are agreed, but whether it was gas
eous or pulvert, whether it shone with
interrupted or continuous light, how it
became ordered and organized, how 1t
collected into spheres, leaving wide
interspaces clear, the wisest are per-
picked to decide.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Protecting Books In China.

1--WE have to varnish all our books in
my country" said Chinese; "other
wise they would soon be eaten into a
gray powder by a little black insect
like a beetle, that takes to books as
a cat takes to ashes. Everybody in
China, when he receives consign
ment of books from Europe or Amer
lea, mixes little pot of varnish al
once and proceeds to coat his books
with it. This fluid is a perfect pro
lection: 1t is made of creosote Canada
balsam. resin, spirit Of wine and mas
ic.'-Philadelphia Record.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Dom Carlos.

Don Carlos, the pretender to the
Spanish throne, who, it is reported, is
prepared to relinquish his claims in
that direction, is SO years old, and the
father of one son and three daughters.
According to the st. James Gazette, he
has friends in England, and is delight
ed to show them over his wonderful
private armory at the Plazzo Loredan.
Venice. 1t is an unequaled collection.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
oArARRH CANNOT BE CURED

With local applications, as they cannot reach
the seat of the disease. Catarrh is blood or
constitutional disease, and in order TO cure it
tarrh Cure is taken internally, and acts directly
on the blood and mucous surfaces. Halls Ca
tarrh Cure is not Quack medicine, 1t was
prescribed by one of the best physicians in this
country for years, and is regular prescription.
Il is composed of the best tonics known. COM
0ined with the best blood purifiers, acting di-
rectly on the mucous surfaces. The perfect
com bination of the two Ingredients is what pro-
duces such wonderful results in curing catarrh.
Send for testimonials, free.
FL. CHENEY & CO., Proprs., Toledo, o.
Sold by druggists, price 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
WOMEN NEED NOT APPLY.

Russian Omcial Was Proof Against
All B1andishments.
"The hand that rocks the cradle
rules the world" Is true Of some coun-
tries and Of many periods of history.
Even in Russia cherchez la femme
contains the clew to many a sudden
promotion I'm the hierarchy Of the
state, says a Russian correspondent Of
the London Telegraph. But in East
ern Muscovy there are still some in
flexible civil servants left who fanat-
siderations, even the dictates Of gal
lantry itself.
Gospodyn Tarass OF is one Of the
most energetic of the brotherhood, and
the latest display of his single-mind-
edness is the theme of warm discus
sion in the Russian press. A lady had
come to see him with a view to his
engineering Office Of which he is the
chief, appointed by the government.
Miss Kondakoff was the bearer of a
powerful letter Of recommendation.
But the austere misogynist, refusing
to see her, read the recommendatory
epistle and wrote back to say that he
did not heed the lady's services. She
is said to be person Of good looks.
prepossessing manners and considera-
BILE persuasive powers, and doubtless,
for these reasons, she made a series Of
strenuous efforts to see the head Of the
department personally and plead her
cause under the most favorable con-
ditions. But he declined to see her
and she refused to desist from call
Ing.
At last he issued the following cir
cular: II hereby warn the female
clerk Kondakoff to desist from her Wis
its to the cabinet Of the head of the
department. For communications
there exist printed forms: it is fruit
less for her personally to bow and
scrape before me, and, what Ia more,
it betrays a lack of feminine mod
esty so to obtrude herself Moreover,
I am not one of those heads of de-
partment who at sight Of q petticoat
drop their cherished principles 1t is
matter Of common knowledge that I
am opposed to the employment of the
female element and that alone ought,
hold, to have sufficed to keep the
female clerk out Of my Office I am
simply lost I'm amazement at her
shamelessness in seeking to curry ia
vor with a man who makes his action
a matter of principle. In any case,
however, it Is in vain to hope that the
request which has already been de-
clined in writing will be granted as a
result Of oral discussion. Indeed, the
mere fact that she has not already
seen this has thoroughly convinced
me that no such female clerk can
have place in my department. Per-
sons like her are but a source of de-
moralization to the officials and are
obstacles to the progress Of work. Let
them go back to their former patrons
They had better select some other
place than the Office Of the head Of
the department for loafing about in
In my Office and all along the line 1
need men who can work, and not the
rustling Of petticoats. Furies and POM
pous women like her I decline to toll
crate in my department, and I refuse
even to see them.
''(SigneO G. TARASSOFF."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
True Faith.

An aged Negro who leaned heavily
upon a stick and a woman companion
of somewhat lighter shade and young
er stopped before flower bed in Pros
pect park the other day. Directly in
front of them was bed of flowers in
the shape of star. For a few min
utes the old man and the woman
gazed intently at the floral star. Fin
ally the man grabbed his companion
by the arm and pointed at the bed
and said: Jennie, the works of God
am great, deed dey is" 'Dey GER
tainly be, Thomas. York Sun.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
What Radium Has Done,

Sir Oliver Lodge protests against
the current idea that the discovery of
radium in any way shakes the long ac-
cepted laws of science. On the con-
trary, it affirms them, as the instabil-
ity of matter which radium proves was
theoretically acquired in the electric
theory of it's constitution, were true,
and radium completes this theory in
stead of destroying it. Radium gives
us, in embryo, a. transmutation of the
elements.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
The Summer ..cottaxe. !"

The summer cottage" on the sea-
shore is the selected place of az
others for those who have nothing to
do, who have no desire to do it, and
an abundance Of time in which to do
it. There are tens of thousands of
them, in a circle of score or two of
miles about New York Many of them
are occupied year after year by their
owners, and many others are built for
lease, and see new tenant each sea-
son.-New York Letter.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Chicago boomers.

Don't tell Chicago man that his
city has less than three million popu-
lation unless you are prepared to
fight. Boomers of the Lake City have
reorganized their Two Million Club,
re-ehristened it the Three Million Club,
donned their aggressive club buttons
and promised allegiance to the club
constitution, which provides that each
member must claim at all times that
Chicago has at least three million peo-
pie.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
No Cause for Sorrow.

Once at quarter sessions, as Recor-
der of Shrewsbury, Sir Arthur Jeef,
was sentencing a hypocritical prison
er, who, hopeful of softening the
judges heart, shed copious tears, and
in reply to his lordship's inquiry:
'fHave you ever been in prison be-
fore?" sobbed tearfully: 'tNever, my
lord, never!" ssWell, don't cry" was
the recorders reply, ''Pm going to
send you there now."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Then He DOT Foolish.

NO" said the new arrival at the
temperance hotel, 81 cant understand
why all those sensible men take that
foolish tramp every Sunday morning
to see the hermit"
You'd understand it if you went
along" said the wise guest, with a
wink. THE hermit is bartender
Chicago News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Pardonahle Pride.

1t was commencement day and Miss
Eunice Whatnot had taken one of the
principal prizes. At the close of ,the
exercises her friends crowded around
her to offer their congratulations. "But
weren't you awfully afraid you
wouldn't get it?'' asked one of them.
'tOh, no." said Miss Eunice, with a
bright smile. 81 just knew that when
it came to English composition had
'em all skinned alive!'-Youth's Com
DaniOn
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
An Advance.

JINGLE knew that fellow, Storms,
the comedian, would come to the front.
Weller-Well, he has, has he?
Eyes. You remember he used to
play the part Of the hind legs Of the
elephant in the pantomime?"
"Yes.'
s'Well, now he's playing the front
legs."-N. Y. Daily News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Just Before the Scrap.

Wife-I wonder how they make
those parlor matches?
Husband-The process is very SIM
pie. once made one.
Wife-Indeed! How did you man.
age it?
Husband-By first making fool of
myself in your mothers parlor during
our courtship.-Chicago News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
A Misguided Thunderbolt

A Billville exchange says: Light.
ming struck Georgia mule in this
neighborhood last year. The mule
survived the shock, but we haven't
seen any lightning around here since
Atlanta Constitution
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24

ORDER QUIcK-Special bargain list, new
goods South Bend Steel Plows, wood beams,
- In. $lO: south Bend Chilled Plows wood
beams, IA in, $40; South Bend Chilled Plovy
wood beams. 8 in, $3.50: all sizes and styles In
plows Young America Cream Separator, No.
Wind Mill, l2-foot, sS5, Write us for prices ON
anything in the machinery line Reierson nsa-
chinery Co., foot Of Morrison St.. Portland, Or.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Regulating the Rules.

why didn't you stop at the hotel?"
''Too many rules and regulations" !"
Restricted your liberty, eh?"
"Oh, no. But every time broke
one of the confounded rules or regu-
lations one of the servants bobbed up
with grin and had to be tipped
New York Sun.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
His Position. .

Say, Chimmie. see dat man gettin'
on de car? OATS the postmaster gen.
eral"
"Aw, gwan! He amt no general
amt got no brass buttons nor stars
nor not'in"
"Aw, he amt no soldier general.
He's de man who hands out letters at
de general delivery windy"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Destructive Dampness.

So bad is the dampness in Ceylon
that a book will hardly last year.
The most expensive Genera, made of
the most perfectly seasoned wood ap-
parently will warp in Ceylon, and all
It's parts will become unglued.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Child Education.

st. Petersburg is to have a worlds
fair devoted to child education, its
growth, Its achievements and its most
advanced methods" Seventeen mil
lion children In Russia have no school
opportunities at all.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Called Him Brother.

Harlow noticed you called Fred
brother" Does he belong to some Sc
cret society that you do?
Shallop1 don't belong to any Sc
cret society. call him brother be-
sister to him.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24

Noozey-Ive heard rumor that she
is to be married.
Oldbache-Yes.
Noozey-Who's the lucky one?
Oldbache-Neither of them, il they
only knew it.-Philadelphi Press.
For coughs and colds there is no better
medicine than Piso's Cure for Consump-
ton. Price 25 cents.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
A New Way OF Putting 1t.

The old farmer was telling story
that was very hard to believe. The
neighbor who had just been in several
horse trades with him listened in ST.
lence for awhile. Then he spoke.
"Look-a-here!" he said, Are you
talkin' horse or truth ?''-Chicago Post.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
RHEUMATISM
NOT a SKZN DISEASE.

It is natural the that hurts and when rheumatic
pains shooting through joints and muscles and they
named the sufferer to nmen and plasers
relief while such temporarily
of rubbing bseng because
blood all through
time caused
the first attack going to have another and
will last poison the blood matter what
you apply externally Too much acid in the blood of
troubles digestion, kidneys and
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24

She-Now that 1 have openly con.
fessed my one indiscretion to you
what do you say?
He-That you have committed a
second.-Brooklyn Life.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24

YfT0 Permanently Eured. NO fits or nervousness
Ftt0 after first day of DIR. .Klines Great Nerv4
Rsstorer Send for Free Sc trial bottle and treatise
Dr. H. 81. Kline, Ltd. 931 Arch St.. PHILADELPHIA Pa
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Get More power From Coal.

Such has been the improvement in
engine boilers and fire boxes that the
power derived from a pound of coal
today is nearly three times as great as
it was fifty years ago.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24

Mothers will find Mrs. winslow'a Soothing
syrup the best remedy to use for their children
the teerhinR season.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24

II you want fame. don't write q
book; invent a washing machine.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24

torpid liver are other causes
which bring on this painful dis
ease, because the blood becomes
tainted with the poisonous mat
ter which these organs fail to
carry out of the system. Ger
tain secret diseases will produce
rheumatism, and of all forms
this is the most stubborn and
severe, for it seems to affect
every bone and muscle in the
body. The blood is the medium
by which the poisons and acids
are carried through the system
Rheumatism you have, it must |
can never get permanently rid o
bles S. S. S. has never been equa
and ruin the digestion like Pota
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
An Affecting Scene.

Mr.. misunderstanding, you
have been weeping. What is it, my
sweetest love?
Mrs. unghusband-Horse radish!
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24

Sometimes it's the man who doesn'l
hesitate thar gets lost
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Hoods JdrsdpdriLld
and Pills

Which thoroughlycleanse the blood,
expelling all humors and building
up the whole system. They cure
Hoods Sarsaparilla permanently cured j.
G. Hines. Franks. ILL.,. of eczema. from which
he had suffered for some time: and Miss
Alyina Wolter. Box 212. Algona. Wis, of pim-
pies on her face and back and chafed skin on
her body. by which she had been greatly
troubled There are more testimonials in
favor of Hoods than can be published.
Hoods Sarsaparilia promises to
cure and keeps the promise.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
His Explanation

Exports OF England and America.
In eleven years British manufacture
ed exports have decreased by 3.5 per
cent, American manufactured exports
have increased by 174 per cent and
German manufactured exports have
increased by 35.5 per cent.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
UNABLE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT.
Sidney. Ohio, August 20, 1908.

A few months ago was feeling weak
and run down and unable to get sleep at
night. felt extremely bad, and also had
rheumatic pains in my joints and mus
cles. The medicine used gave mo only
temporary relief at best; 50 seeing 9. 8.
bles, began it's use, and after taking it
for some time was well plea ed with tn Q
result. It did away with the rheumatic
pains, gave me refreshing sleep and
built up my general system, giving me
strength and energy. It in q good medi-
cine, without y doubt, and T take pleas
ure in endorsing it.
RID. No.1. s. 8. BOUaHToN.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24
Erupti0ns

Dry, HIOIsG, SCdIy UeICeT, al IOrm5
of eczema or salt rheum, pimples
and other cutaneous eruptions pro-
ceed from humors, either inherited,
OF acquired through defective di-
gestion and assimilation.
To treat these eruptions with
drying medicines is dangerous.
The thing to do is to take
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-11-24

and it doesn't matter what kind of
e treated through the blood, or you
it. As cure for rheumatic trou-
lied. It doesn't inf1ame the stomach
sh, A1kalies and other Strong drugs,
t tones up the general health, gently
mulates the sluggish organs, and at
. same time antidotes and filters out
the blood all poisonous acids and
etc matter of every kind and when
S. S. has restored the blood to its
tural condition, the painful, feverish
1scles are Immediately relieved.
atism will be mailed free to those
cheerful1y answer all letters asking
, for which no charge is made.
Mexico Missouri message., 1903-09-24
Breaks Hurricane Records.

New York: The storm that ravaged
New York and the Jersey Coast We'd
nesday did more damage in a short
time than any hurricane in the rec
ords of the Weather Bureau.
The property loss in vessels alone
runs up well toward a million dollars.
This tremendous wreckage was ac-
companied by considerable loss Of life,
but as the storm completely paralyzed
all ordinary means of communication
along the coast, only the most meager
reports are yet Obtainable.
According to a statement of the
Weather Bureau. the storm was not
the same West Indian hurricane that
struck Florida and the south Atlantic
coast a few days ago. but a second
disturbance that had it's origin farther
north. There is still a possibility that
the great Florida storm may visit this
within the next 4S hours.