Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-05-02

Disconnected Artist wish had
fortune. / would never paint again.
Generous Brother Brush-By Jove! old
man, | wish had one! I'd give it to
you!
What do you expect to be when
you become of age, my little man ?"
asked the visitor. ''Tventy-ono sir"
was the bright ones reply.-Yonkers
Statesman
She-The duke has landed estates,
has he not? He-Rather. Landed one
every time he got married-but he
managed to run through 'em all.-Bos-
ton Globe.
Are Mrs, Vests entertainments
very exclusive?" well l should saw
SO; she intends to make application to
have the conversation of her guests
copyrighted!
Deacon Cobbs-William, IL your faith
er should have $40 and some one should
give him S., what would he have?
William-NOthing But ma would have
new hat.-Chicago News
what do you put on your face after
shaving?" asked the man who smelled
of bay rum. Court plaster usually"
replied the nervous chap, gloomily.-
Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.
Parson-Tm sorry to find our en-
ployer has been playing golf Oh Sun
day. Caddie-He wasn't playing golf.
Parson-Ah, then have been mistak-
en-. Caddie-Yes! He was just trying.
Mrs. Upson-"Your grandfather is an
octogenarian. is he not?" Mrs. Neu-
rich-"Indeed, he isn't anything of the
kind. He Is the most truthful man /
ever bumped up against."-Chicag
Daily News.
She-How long have you been living
in New York? He-Oh, came up here
about the time they began digging up
the streets for the subway. She---Havc
you been here as long as hat?--Yonk-
ers Statesman.
He (bltterly)--Your answer would be
different If were rich enough to show
er you with golden eagles. She-It
might be different, possibly. if you
should cover me so completely that
couldn't see.--New York Weekly.
Ned-Pm dreadfully worried abo-t
my debts. Jack-It must be very an
noying to be continually dunned. Ned
oh, hang the duns! What worries
me is the fact that 1 can't get arv
more credit.-Kansas City Journal.
A particular old gentleman, pulling
something out of his soup that should
not have been included among the otn-
or ingredients, thus addressed his COOK:
Josephine, l am much obliged for
your thoughtfulness, but next time
kindly give 1t to me in locket."
"That man." said the Guilford avenue
conductor, sis as inconsistent as he is
ungrateful." "Why, what is the matter
now?" "Why, t'other day he made
big kick because he had to hang on TO
strap, and now he's growing be-
cause he can't find a strap. "-Balti-
more News.
Miss Youngthyng-And what WOO G
you say. George, if were to tell you
/ didn't believe one word you say re-
gardlng the lasting qualities of your
affection? George would say that
You are far too wise for any ordinary
man to marry. Good-by.-Baltimor
American.
Upgardson-"On the strength of your
recommendation lent Bilcombe So the
other day, and now find he's con-
firmed deadbeat that never pays his
debts. You told me he was man of
established reputation" Atom-"So he
is. That's the reputation he has estab-
lished. Chicago News.
From an authors notebook: Sold one
poem and had five returned. Made al
most enough to pay the butcher. Sold
a short story, and came within an ace
of making enough to pay ten dollars on
the grocery bill Wrote an obituary on
an ancient citizen and had Marias
shoes mended with the proceeds. l
must try and write enough tonight to
buy a gallon Of kerosene OIL / believe
there's money in the literary business,
but it's not so sure as that which comes
from splitting rails.-Atlanta Consti-
tuition.
Fond Mother-Now, look here,
George I want you to break OFF with
that girl. She is very pretty and all
that. but / know her too we'll TO want
Won TO risk your life and happiness by
marrying her. Why, she knows no
more about housekeeping than l do
about Greek-not a bit. George-Per-
haps not: but she can learn. Mother
After marriage is rather late for that
George. George-But you said your
self that you did not know a thing
about housekeeping until after you
were married. Mother--Very true,
George-and your poor father died OF
dyspepsia twenty years ago.
Jubilee of Free Libraries.
Manchester, England, is about TO
,otahro%a the iuhilee of its free libra