The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-08-03

gOln TO be reelected, all right enough,
SO what's the use O. all this hoorawin'
for him now?
Hi Spry-Well, I've noticed that the
sooner you git into the band wagon the
farther you can ride.-Puck.
Twin boys attending school in Brook
lyn were asked by the teacher what
are twins, when one of the five-year-old
youngsters replied: Couple of fellows
that live in the same house.'-Brooklyn
Life
When a woman goes visiting she al
ways copies n lot OF recipes out of the
cook books where she is a guest-Wash-
ington Democrat.
1.-The most that can be said of sue
cess observed the man with pessi-
mistic tinge, lis that it is not always as
disappointing as failure. Puck.
Newrocks-It's big advantage not to
know French.
Mrs Newrocks-How?
Newrocks4Why. it saves you from
wasting a lot of time trying to make
yourself understog4zby. these people in
their own language-ZBrooklyn LIE.
Uncle Reuben says: Oar hain't any
speshial call. as 1 knows on, fur a man
to make liar of hisself to please a
short of a fule if he don't get around to
obsarve dat she's lool1in' five vars
younger dan she did last week."-De-
troit Free Press
Convicted of stealing sheep? And he
used to be one of your best citizens!
Henry was that so" said the South
ron, sadly. But nobody blames Henry.
Bein one of ouah best citizens, he was
about all the time bein' called on to
pahticipate in some lynchin', sub, till
he nach'ly couldn't tend to his private
business. Henry had to do somethin',
suh!"-Puck-
Briggs-This labor question is a SER
ious one.
Griggs+so it is. The next thing all
the baseball men in the country Will go
out on strike.-Brooklyn Life
He-"It will take about five years be-
fore Dr. Wood can become the head Of
the army Shea doctor at the head
of the army! Isn't that too killing!'-
Cleveland Plain Dealer
John" whispered the wife, in the
middle of the night, I think near
some one running in the cellar 60 70
Sleep dear" said the husband; its only
the gas meter. ''-Yonkers Statesman
Here is a significant item from
Georgia exchange: The lightning rod
Yesterday and was struck by lightning
The same flash also struck mule mat
was grazing near by, but the mule
kicked it all to eces.'-Atlanta Con-
stitution.
But your country is so new" said
the foreigner; you have no traditions"
oh 1 dunno. We've got old enough 10
have men here who can hold their
grandchildren on their knees and tell OF
experiences they had when they were
professional baseball players.-Chicago
Record Herald.
But I thought" observed the simple
minded person on the outskirts of the
crowd. that a king could do as he
pleased" Not at ALL" replied the other
person, craning his neck. DIDN'T you
see how he shuddered when he kissed
the other king? He didn't want TO, put
he lust had to do it.'-Chicago Tribune.
Tommy Tucker had been hurt while
performing the act he called Tipping
freight train will he get we'll. doc
tor?' distractedly asked Mrs. Tucker.
rs he ont of danger?' He will get
well, madam replied the surgeon, but
1 can't say he is out of danger. He VIII
probably do the same thing again the
first chance he has."-Chicago Tribune.
Shirt sleeves diplomacy is hardly the
last phase. If equal suffrage is coming
on as fast as some say, shirt waist
diplomacy can't be far off.-Puck.
Prospective CNtomer.-what have
you got in the way Of fruit, this morn
ing. grocer?
Grocer anding)-Oh,
couple of boxes of soap, sir; but can
easily remove 'em.-columbia Jester.
Elsie-Mamma, are marriages made
in heaven2
Mrs. Dirnpleton-Yes dear.
Have I got to wait that longg'-Life.
I hev watched myself purity clus fur
de last twenty y ars an hev diskiber-
ed dat wheneber wanted to do up any
body l allus did it under kiver of hui
manity or ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Free Press.
Tramp-You has purity easy times
nothin' to do but stand here sellin' lead
pencils.
Pencil Peddler-Think it's easy, do
yeh2 Don't you know peo1le won't