The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-14
JOKES THAT AMUSE THE SAILOR BOYS

water sailors, and this makes itself OBJ
Nlous IN the stories of the militiaman's
clumsiness aboard ship.
one small gunbOat had seventeen Of
them assigned to it. much to the disgust
Of the regular crew. one night this boat
having been out cruising, ran into a fleet
OF torpedo boats one Of the militamen
appeared he reported them:
. Light on the port bow, sir he bawled
"Al right" answered the executive OF
flcer from the bridge.
Another light appeared.
Some more lights on the port bow"
cried the greenhOrn, becoming somewhat
bewildereC and uneasy
All right came the officers cool an
The lookout stamped nervOUsly Up and
Gown until suddenly he caught sight OF
the red and green sidelights of a steamer.
Ihls, was TOO much. Deserving his post
he FLED aft.
"Capn," he shouted breathIessly, dash
ing up the steps to the bridge. turn
around as quick as you can. There's a
whole blamed town ahead, and if YOU
don't look out you'll run right into a
drug store"
The bIunders Of greenhorns supply rich
material for humorous anecdotes. An
other story is told OF the naval militia
man who came to the wheel while one Of
the quarteTmasters was regulating q big
azlmuth compass.
Mister said the greenhorn. your
clocks three hours slow. Yours is 1880
O'Clock. while the right times $3.50
o'clock
There is q story much circulated among
sailors OF the Latin nations which usually
falls flat on Anglo-SaXOns. whose iguoT-
ance OF french. Spanish or Italian stands
IN strong contrast to the knowledge of
English so general among the Latins
The captain Of a Spanish ship had lost
MS reckoning on account of several days
OF misty weather and storm. To correct
ms position the captain determined to
speak the first vessel he met
rms opportunity he had a few days
ldIer Wnen q strange bark bore down on
I'm As IS she Grew near, the stranger
Vow. the bOatswain Of the Spanish ship
had often boosted a knowledge Of Eng
uSh, so the captain summoned him at
once to interpret The boatswain sta
toned himself beside the caDtafn On the
poop, with speaking trumpet ready for
use, me Brlush vessel came within
IN, Nov" said the Spanish skipper. TASK
what latitude We're in"
Ihe truth was, the boatswain's real
rev swear words, but he determined to
Ol8 III ms way out Of his dilemma.
EIgcIhg lhe megaphone TO his lips he
baWled out hoarsely:
HOl bOW-WOW-Wahi ~
OF course the British skipper failed to
catch his meaning and he roared back:
What does he answer. bos'n?" asked
the Spanish skipper anXiously, standing
ANoAt viii Lctl-.lA dilG DtN-
'Cuatro four), captain" said the boat
swain. HE says 'cUatrO.' q"
Good said the Spanish skipper. de-
ighteoly Now ask him his Iongitude %
again the boatswain bawled forth:
Hey woyy-wow-vv ov-wahl'
What We say2' replied the R~itisber
Irelnta-Seis (thirty-siN). captain" in
tCrprcted the bOdtsWain. beannine with
ment '--
"Woaderfulr' exclaimed the SPANISH
capital E. How much English is Ike
Spanish
Another story Of similar nature bt,t
peculiarly American, is told of q Yankee.
lar aboard z man-of-war in Japan. The
snip mad anchored in Nagasaki, and a
hdtNe Sanpan man came aboard
AS IS wen known the JaDanese are. the
most courteous people I'm the world. So
according to custom. the sampan man
Wnen met Ct the gangplan6 by a Ions
loose-Jointed boy. bowed low and greeted
him with the universal salutatiOn:
Ohio Good mOrDingl
Nav replied the sailor "Ah'm
from Georgia Ahm no damn Buckeye
st Louis Globe-Demccrat