The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-04-07
HERE AND THERE.

She-Do You recall the day we wera
married? He-L wish to gracious ]
could!-Yonkers Statesman.
The governor (about to engage a new,
groom)-"My man, do you drink" En-
thusiastic Applicant-'I never ave.
sir, but 1 think I can learn, sir.'-Har-
ward Lampoon.
Nisitor-"YOu don't mean to say that
these luxuriously fitted up apartments
are ceus?" Warden-"Yes; they are re-
served exclusively for our wealthy au-
tomobiIe MISUNDERSTANDING.
Mrs. Chancel-''Our pastor has calls
from two churches, and he's praying
for direction which to accept" Her
Husband-"Indeed? / uppos both are
at the saHse salary?'-Puck.
Jim-'Jlmpson declares that he is
going to quit using tobacco. Jam-"I
never new that he used tobacco at all.
You see, I've attempted to smoke some
Of the cigars that he smokes Balti-
more Herald.
oh, let me like a soldier die" ex-
claimed the leading man of the barn
stormers. ooh, if 1 only had a gum"
exclaimed some one in the gallery, in
a tone that Savored of genuine sympa-
thy.-Chicago Daily News.
Admiral" now0 Coghlan have one
more bond of friendship: they have
each sung the "Hoch der KaiSer!' song
or words to that effect, and nave each
bcen called to task tor indiscretion Of
utterance.-Lorfolk Landmark.
Those Philadelphia Irishmen who
mobbed "McFadden's Row or Flats"
ought to be able to understand the
strain which southern people have to
endure when Uncle Toms Cabin comes
comes this way.-Norfolk Landmark.
Mrs. Hiram Offen-"That will do!
You'll leave on Saturday. and you
needn't bother me about a recommen-
dation." Bridget-"Shure, Oh have no in
tlntlon of givin' We a recommendation.
Oil tell the truth about we to livery
girl that axes Notwithstanding Press.
Old Sam Johnson AID Harry Her
vey was a vicious man, but he was very
kind to me. If o call a dog Harvey.
/ shall love him." That's Just as you
and 1 would do, brother. We love those
who love us, and it is right hard. to
love those who hate us, and are unkind
to us. We pat the dog on the head who
wags his tail at our coming, but not
that one hat snarls and shows his
teeth.-Durham Sun.
I amt afford to advertise on a Lara
scale" said a merchant lately. u
with NV va rip1 etncl T u-n1111n,+ l--au-
where to begin on a small scale = is
a common fallacy that the advertising
must cover. the whole stock. In point
of fact it never does, even with the most
lavish advertisers, and, if it did, the
result would, be a tumble of prolixity.
The true policy is to select one article
at d time-something moderately priced
and meeting the want of the day-and
push that at the people.-Philadelphia
Record.
The British expedition. which has been
exploring in the Antarctic regions found
more dry land down at the south end
of the globe than appears to be at
the northern extremity. Yet it did not
seem to facilitate discovery in his di-
r%ection, because of its being SO noun
%ainous. The leader of one of the ex-
petitions fell through a hole in a noun
tain Of ice and would have been lost if
he had not been tied to the rest of the
party. There appears to be less land
and more water at the north pole and
explorers car skate on these frozen seas
toward the pole; and yet it is about as
far out of reach as the less s~ought-for
south pole. The chief difficulty at
either end of the earth, after all, seems
to be the Observation-Disclosures Oh
server.