Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-09-16

bl1Dy6 W1te can converse IN uv0
languages" Yes; and can't keep still
in any one Of them. Judge.
she-what are you thinking Of.
dearf He The dearest person on
earth. she-You conceited old thing.
The Household Ledger.
Held like to meet Miss Bond. She
Why? II hear she has thirty thou
sand a year and no incumbrance" rs;
she looking for ?'-Life.
Il told papa your poems were the
children of your brain" What did he
say z Said they were bad enough to
be put In the reform school,"
That" said Willie, as he launched
heavy volume at his little brothers.
head, "is the coming book. It's bound
to make hit. Columbia Jester.
The Anxious Mother-Are you sure
my son has appendicitis? The Emil
nent Specialist-We can tell you bet
ter, madam. after the operation
Life.
Pat-How does yez loike goldfish
balls? Mlke-Faith! an niver tend
ed one; but it's big tonnes I've had
down at the fireman's hop.-Lippin-.
colts. II
Lord Littlecash lovingly)-You arc.
my soul. Edith Yes; told papa that,
"Oh, what did he say7'' "Said you.
didn't earn enough to keep your soul
and body together.'-Judge
Patience Before he married her he
couldn't do too much for her, but now
he wouldn't lift his hand to help her.
Patrice-Well, you know she says sho
has made another man Of hint
Running IN auto must be exciting
said the friend. ut Isl said the own
er. Every time you stop you wonder
II the machine will start again when
you are ready. Brooklyn Life.
AmeliaYou don't seem interested
in summer schools. Emily-summer
schools! Oh, gracious. In hot weather
1t is all can do to hold on to the ut
tie already know. Detroit Free.
Press.
Father, when 1 graduate I am go
ing to follow my literary bent and
write for money 'Humph! Ny son.,
you ought to be successful. That's ali
you did the four years you spent at
college
Ethel saw sister sitting on your.
Imp last night and told mother. Young
Man-What in the world did you do
that for? Ethel-she told me to let
her know when there was any. good
3news.-Life.
"Ah," she signed. the great men are
all dead!" But the beautiful women
are not" he answered. Then she look
ed up into his eyes and told Him she
had said 1t just to be contrary and nos
because she thought 1t for moment.
When some cayalrylnen were going
through riding drill, one of the mems
horses bolted with him and was max.
Ing his way towards the stables when
an officer met him. where are you
going!" inquired the officer. Il don't
know, sir" shouted tho cayalryman,
as he few past. Ask the horse!" r.
Young man !" said the stern parent
to the applicant for a job as son-in-
law, Il want you to know that spent
five thousand dollars on my daugh-
ter's education" Thanks. rejoined
the youth who was trying to break
into the family circle; .then won't
have to send her to school again."--
Chicago Daily News.
While Arthur was spending week
at his auht.s he CHANGED one day. to
place his elbows OH the table during
dinner. My dear boy" said his cunt,
don't you know TINT children OF the
first families must never put their eli.
bows on the table?' "Oh, WE'LL. said
Arthur, that doesn't hit me for my
fathers been married twice. and l be-
long to the second family"
Officer, to new servant Murphy, 1
have left my mess boots out this morn.
Ing. want them solcd. Private Muir.
phy-Very good sir. Officer later In
the dny--Did you take those boots,
Murphy Private Murphy. feeling in.
his pocket and putting on the table
efghteenpencc+Y Yes. sir; and that's all
I could get for thin. The corporal
who bought thin said lie would have
given two shillins IL 1t had been pay
day!
Vanity: Mr.. Potts Ito his wife) Ny
dear, the nir is chilly. Fermez Ia
fenetre. The visitor (sotto yoce) Why
do you ask your wife In French to shut
the window? Mr.. Potts ditto Be
cause you are here. II asked her In,
English she wouldn't do 1t, as she
won't tnke instructions from me be-
fore visitors. But II l say 1t In French
she gets up md does it ut once, SO az
to let you see that She understands the
language. -Pick-Me-Up.
In Earnest Tben.-"I hive noticed"
said the ofr-hand philosopher. "that .
woman will get n golf-dress when she.
has no intention to play golf. That's
so, agreed the man with the incan-.
descent whiskcrs. and" continued
the off-hand philosopher. "she will get
ball-gown when she cares nothing
about dancing and tennis-dress.
when she wouldn't play tennis for fear
she will freckle, and bathing.suit
when she has no thought Of going Into
the water, and n riding habit when the
very thought of climbing on horse
gives her the clills, and = "Yes,Y
interrupted the man with the incan.
descent whiskers; "but when she gets
a wedding-drcss she means business.
Ever notice thatT'-Judge.
Roman Bricks.
The rebuilding of the campanile in
Venice has begun. 1t is expected that
the structure will be finished by 1908.
Although the fill OF the tower was
q denlora bile. loss some good a attended,