The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-14

First Pnll&QelpuAaA AA""
book? Exciting? Second Phliaoei-
phian-Why, l sat up all day readins
it!-Town Topics.
She-Mamma says mustn't encour-
age YOU at all. He--Thats all 1ght.
I don't need any encouragement
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Casual-Was your daughter
wedding a success? Mrs. CANDID
Yes, indeed; there wasn't cheap pres
ent in the whole lot.
Mother-Dicky, why do you keep
four peaches and give little sister only
two? Dicky-Well, mother, can eat
twice as fast as she can.
"De man who stahts in to kill time"
said Uncle Eben, sis in great danger
bein' one O. desc here didn -know-lt-
vas-loaded Observation-Disclosures Star.
Willie-If you've saved up enough
for an automobile, why don't you get
it? Bobbie Not yet. I'm saving up
enough to pay for the people l run
over.-Life.
+ Mr.. Robinson-How did the children
act about going in the water? Mrs
Robinson-Oh, had to pay them to
60 in; and then l had to pay them to
come out.
Uncle John-What are you going to
do when you are man? Irving (the
clergyman's youngster)-Well, l shall
be a charcoal man or a minister. I've
got to holler
Sharpe-Why, yes, l was at church
last Sunday. Kloseman-Were you,
really? Strange l didn't see you.
Sharpe-Oh, not at all. l took up the
ollection.-Philadelph Press.
"Why don't you go to Kansas? It's
easy to get work out there" Il know
dat boss, an l axed de railroad COM
panes fer a pass, but dey wouldn't
give it to me."-St. Louis Star.
"Of course" said the beginner, ito
be successful in politics one must
know how to speak" Better still, y
replied the old hand, she must know
how not to speak."-Phiadelphia
! Press.
Aunt Maria-Why, Johnny! l am
surprised! Johnny-What's de matter:
Aunt Maria-What are you playing
baseball for on the Sabbath? Johnny
Fur ten cents a side, an our side
Winnin'.
George-You do not call on Miss
Rosebud now? Jack-No, l got dis
! gusted. She has such a coarse laugh
: George never noticed that. Jack
You would If you had been within
8 hearing when proposed to her.
e Briggs-Its too bad about Wrinkle
: and the girl he is engaged to. Neithe)
Of them is good enough for the other
!. Griggs-What makes you think that
i. Briggs-Well, I've been talking the
matter over with both families.-Life
A young lady visiting for the frs
time in the country was alarmed a
> the approach of COW. She was to-
! frightened to run, and, shaking he
{ parasol at the animal, she said, in
very stern tone: Lie down, sir! Ii
down"
9 Willie-Say, pa, didn't you tell NJ
!. the other day that it was wrong t.
q strike anyone smaller than yourself
o. Pa-Yes, Willie, that's what l said
: Willie-Well, l wish you'd write IN
p teacher note to that effect. don
= think she knows about it.
g Il see your neighbors, the High
S mores, have shut their house up. Mrs
:. Highmore told me the other day the
d were going somewhere into the int
S rior for the summer" "Theyve gon
n farther back than that. They are Ii,
a ing in the itchen."-Chicago Tribune
d What will it cost to educate Wi
;e lie? asked the fond father of a nc
4 too brilliant boy Of eighteen. Il don
E. believe it could be done at any price,
said Willie's uncompromising uncl,
'r but should say you might be abb
d to get him through college for abor
W four thousand dollars"
never waste words on q fool
u said the pompous person. 'Tbs
doesn't correspond with your wife
~ statement" replied a member of til
t skeptical faction. What did nv viii
t. sayT queried the P. P. THAT 70
y were in the habit of talking to YOU
~ SELF" answered the other.
- Mrs. Ferguson-George, what pa
% ticular falling of yours did the prea,
er touch on in his sermon this NOR
h ing? Mr.. Ferguson-What do YOU as
"a me that question for? Mrs. Fergr
son-Because you have been as GRO,
as bear ever since you came hon
from church.-Chicago Tribune.
Ie 'You must not imagine" she sal
e, that would be willing to sit out he
a alone with you if you were not so b
st and strong, and able to pick me I'D
4 your arms as If l were a child
d case anything happened" Then b
cause nothing happened she told h.
t friends that he was dull-witted AZ
Dr0hQ hlU had q