The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-07-09
ADVERTISING HUMORs.
UntntentiOnal, but None the Less
Funny, as See Below.

Funny, as See Below.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Not all the humor of the daily press is
to be found in its alleged funny columns
not by a long shot The average reader
certainly would not seek it in the small
can recognize fun even without a label as
serts that the want" columns of the local
papers are simply trimming over with it
and none the less irresistible much of II
for its bland unconsciousness In support
of his statement he drew the other day
from one of the pigeon holes of his desk a
loose handful of clippings from the classified
ads. of the local papers. Some of them are
really too good to be true. They remind
one of the stock jokes about a piano for
sale by young lady with carved legs"
the invention of some frivolous-minded
man moved by desire to make merry at
the expense of some superior woman But
theSe-well, there was no mistaking these
they really happened, every one of them
and in local papers. There was no doubt a s
to the genuineness of the clippings. The
first one read:
TALL, EDUCATED PROFESSIONAL, WIDOW
tpast middle age) incumbrance with
ample income and fine suburban home de-
silres to marry before Christmas. Address
D., So.
We gods and little fishes. What did the
man expect? In vain does the fowler
spread his net in sight of the bird. Would
any girl with her eyes open marry pro
sion for a man. What shall it profit girl
if she gain tall. educated widower with
out incumbrances). an ample income and a
fine suburban home? When she is fairly
married she finds that the path of matri-
mony in this instance leads but to the
grave.
Then again:
wANTED-AN ORGANISE AND A BOY To
blow the same. Apply s.. 6S-.
Fun for the boy. possibly. but rather hard
on the organist.
FOR SALE = THOROUGHBRED BULLDOG;
viii eat anything; particularly fond of chill
dren.
One cannot but doubt whether a bulldog
with such pronounced epicurean tastes for
the young and tender would prove a well
come addition to most families or neigh
bright young lady of some Sort, here is
one who is rather particular as to what
sort of situation he takes:
wANTED-A SITUATION AS A soN-IN-LAw.
by a respectable gentleman. in some respecta-
bic family: good blood and breeding not nee
essary; being already well supplied: capital
sential; no objections to going short distance
into the country. Address w. 1l5-.
wANTED-A BOY TO BE PARTLY OUTSIDE
and partly behind the counter.
That boy would have to be a dime mu-
scum freak-though perhaps that was not
wholly an unreasonable demand on the
part of the advertiser, for IL one can take
their word for IT there are always enough
freaks advertising TO stock a dozen mu-
seums. For instance:
wANTED-EURNIsHED APARTMENTS SUIT
able for a gentleman with folding doors.
There Is a tantalizipg indefinitenes as TO
just where the folding doors are attached
and how they unfold the gentleman. but II
would certainly pay a live manager to in
vestigate. Also this:
wANrEp-A ROOM FOR rwo GENTLEMEN
thirty feet long and twenty feet broad
IL there are two such gentlemen In this
vicinity the dime museums have certainly
not done their duty to the city in ALLOWING