davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

an infallible milk tester, and that's
Thompkins. l test milk, and can tell
right off the reel whether it's got 80
per cent of butter fat In it or 10, and
whether it's loaded with protein clear
up to the top of the bottle. or whether
it has not got any more
protein In it than there is
in necktie. Now. am going
to watch you after this. and if
catch YOU bringing milk aroun1 here
that isn't 140 proof you'll go 20 jail
Where's the milk you brought for
this norning?"
Its down in the wagon" said the
millSman. sulkily.
Isn't that the bottle you've got
In your hand?" demanded Mr.. Thonp.
kins.
NO" said the milkman. "Tits is
for the party next door. l forgot to
bring up the bottle for you folks. I'll
go and get it."
The milltman went back to his
to the grocery store across the street,
and dropped into the drug store on
the corner before he appeared again
at the Thompkins home, this time
carrying milk bottle that he sci
down in front of Mr.. Thompkins.
You know so much" said the milk
man, see what you think of that
there"
Mr.. Thompkins took the bottle and
poured out a tumblerful of milk. He
held it up to the light and eyed it
critically.
Little bit light on butter fat. Not
many proteins in it, either" he said.
Looks fairly good. however" He
raised the glass and drank some of
the milk. That is not the best kind
of milk" said Thompkins, smacking
his lips. but it is as good as you
usually bring around, think" He
drank the rest of the milk and set
the glass down hard, while his face
suddenly knotted up.
rs that the best sort of milk you
bring around to your customers?"
NO" said the millSman, as he
walked slowly down the stairs THAT
hain't the best sort of milk l bring
around to my customers, old But
tinslSi.
That hain't the kind of milk | take
around to my customers, at all. In
fact. it haint milk and never said
it was. You said it was and you
drank it without my inviting you to-
It's tooth powder, that's what 1t is.
Tooth powder fifteen cents worth
put in water and shaken up. And you
said it was milk You said it was
milk. Little bit shy on butter fat, was
it. and didn't have no proteins float
ing around. Well. | guess most tooth
powders are shy on butter fats and
proteins. You can buy your milk of
somebody else after this. / don't
want to have an old fool like you on
my list. and you'd better see doctor
before that tooth powder kills you
The milkman disappeared. and
when Mrs. Thompkins went into the
kitchen she found Mr.. Thompkins
white and trembling, on a chair. beg
sing her to send for doctor and ask
ing what was the best antidote for
tooth powder.
Mr.. Thompkins drinks the milk set
forth at ,he family table now without
protest.-Chicago Tribune.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01
Don't Rent a Earn.-suyl

Colorado farmers can get good irri-
gated land best of water rights. splen-
did crops. and pay about the usual
rental for the use of the land. In three
years they'll own 1t clear. The best
chance to get a good farm ever offered
in the state. Write to-day to The
Colorado Bureau Of immigration. els
Majestic building. Denver. Colorado.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01
Deafness Cannot be Cured.

by local applications they cannot reach the dis.
eased portion of the There Is only one way To
deafness. and that by constitutional remedies
Deafness Is caused by nn iniamed condition of this
mucous lining of the Eustaehian Tube. srhsn this
tube is innamed you have rumbllng sound or I'm
perfect hearing and when It Is entirely ciosed Dear
IL the result and unless the Inflammation can bs
taken and this tube restored to Its normal con
dlton. hearing will be destroyed forever Nine casei
out caused by Catarrh which Is nothing bn
an in1amed condition OF the mucous surfaces.
We viii give one Hundred Dollars for any ease oi
De4fness fcaused by eAtarrhi that cannot he curet
by Hairs Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars. free.
=. J. CHENEY CO., Toledo, o
Sold ny Druggists, 75c-
uafs Family PMS are the best.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

quaintance suffering from backachs
or kidney trouble would unhesitat-
ingly advise them to take Doan's Kid
ney Pills. was subject to severe at
tacks OF oaekache, always aggravated
II sat long at desk. 1t struck me
that II Doans Kidney Pills performed
half what they promised they might
at least help. This induced me to
try the remedy 1t absolutely stopped
the backaohe. | have never had a
pain or twinge since"
A FREE TRIAL of this great kid
ney medicine which cured Mr.. Lario
Will be mailed to any part of the
United States on application. Address
Foster-Milburn Co. Buffalo. N. Y. For
sale by all druggists. Price so cents
per box.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01
Language of Animals.

Animals have language made up
of signs or inartlculate sounds ex-
pressing Impressions, sensations, pas
sions, but never Ideas. So this Ian
guage excludes conversation and IL
limited to interjectlons or signs OF
movements expressing joy, grief, an
ger, fear. all the passions of the senses.
but never more.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01
Insist on GETTING Il.

Eoms grocers say they don't keep De
hance Starch. This Is because they have
stock on hand OF other brands containing
only IL or. in a package, which they wont
he able to sell frst, because Defiance con.
tains l6 OF. for the same money.
Do you want i6 or. instead of ~ or. for
came money Then buy Defiance Starch.
Requires no cooking.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01
Persian Exports

Persia buys over s15.oOo,OOO worth
Oh goods each year from other coun-
tries. OF this the United Kingdom
gets 43 per cent. and the United States
one two-thousandth of one per cent,
while France gets per cent.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01
Louise.

Louise.
louise is pretty,
Louise is fair;
Louise Is witty.
And has sun kissed hair.
Louise is saucy.
A gay coquette.
Louise is fiossy
But f'li win her yet.
Louise is wary.
Her hearts duress:
Louise. the fairy.
She will not confess,
Louise. I'm gazing.
Deep in your eyes
See hope amazing
And paradise.
Louise, you're blushingi
Louise. your cheek
with love is flushing
What your heart would
speak,
roraeafrD
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

u a. B.. declare my engagement TO
C. D.. spinster. OF this town. TO be at an
end by reason of her pawnlng the en-
gaEement ring Is from the personal coll
umn OF a German newspaper
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01
TRIED BY TIME.

Eugene f. Lario. of ISL
Twentieth Avenue. tick
ct seller in the Union
Station. Denver. Col;
says: "You are at lib
erty to repeat what I
first stated through our
Denver papers about
Doan's Kidney Pills in
the summer of 1899. for
/ have had no reason in
the interim to change
my opinion of the rem.
edy. ! said when first
interviewed that II I
had a friend and ac.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

Caller-Your sister is a long time
making her appearance. Johnny. John
ny-Yes; she's got to make 1t. OF
course, fore she comes down.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

WHAT DID KATY Do2"
"Kntydidl Kstydid, Katydid,'
Please. what did Katy do?
Katydid. Katydid.
What did Katy do?
Further back than / can scan.
Ever since the birth of man,
You've Insisted Katy did.
Come, what did Katy do?
Katydid. Katydld.
What did Katy do?
Must have been an awful sin,
For three thousand years you've fsop
kstydiding. Katydiding.
What was this awful scandal.
To be worthy Of the candle7
Oh. what did Katy Do?
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

81 can't imagine anything worse than
a man who never has an opinion OF his
own Unless MS a man who has lots
OF opinions that he thinks are his own
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

Any old time Coloradan would hateto
be found dead with a copper cent in his
pocket. He regards the use Of cents as
rank nonsense.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

''whv Is It Willie Is always so quiet
when riding in the street cars2 why
his pa told him those big straps could be
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01
What Did Katy po7

Katydid. Katydid.
What did Katy do?
Every night now for n week
have listened to your tweak:
"Katydid! Katydidi Katydidl"
Pray. what did Katy dor
Katydld. Katydid.
Are you sure she did?
May be Katy did not do
What you are alluding to.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

What are you Christian Scientists lay
ing out d cemetery forY "Oh. for ths
members that have belief that they are
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

II suppose. Mr.. Henpeck. that you suf-
fer In silence when your wife assaiis
your No. ] suffer from lack OF silence
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

"Fine feathers make fine BIRDS "Yes.
and afterwards they make ducks of bon
nets.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

The secret OF the popularity Of Baxt.rs
"Bullhesdn b.cent cigar is revealed In one
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

1t is said that the flirting at the
yacht races Is likely to result in
great number of marry time engage
ments
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

How are your folks doing since return
thank YOU
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing syrup.
For children teething. softens gums reduces In
Aays pain. cures wind coic. 25c bottle
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

II you have smoked a Buiihesd seen,
dgar you know how good they are: II
you have not. better try one.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

The Best Results In starehlng
can he obtained only by using Defiance
Starch, besides getting OF. more for same
money-no cooking required.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

smile of ratisfaction eoes with ono of
BsItsr's "BuiIhead" b-cent cigars
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

JUNE TINT BUTTER COLOR
makes top of the market butter.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01
All Up to Date Housekeepers

use Defiance Cold Water Starch. because II
is letter, and OF. more Of It for same
inonsy.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01

Honestly. | don't care much for the
theatre. If | could go three or four
nights week, twice on Sunday and
take in a few of the matinees, I'd
be satisfied. This spending all ones
time at the theatre isn't what it's
cracked up to be.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01
w. L. DOUGLAS
s3.se & 50 SHOES SsiSs SsSs.
You can save from SO to S5 yearly by
wearing W. L. Douglas So. so or s. ahoes,

They equal those
that have been cost
ing you from 500
to $500. Tho i'm
mense sale OF w. l..
Douglas shoes proves
their superiority over
all other makes.
Sold by retail shoe
dealers everywhere.
Look for name and
price on bottom.
That Douglas uses Cor
ona Colt proves there is
value In Douglas shoes.
Corona IL the highest
grade Pat.Leather IN ade.
Fasf n0fOr fpsisis used.
O1, 50 9iit EDGE line cann
kl0ex bV mali Oh .,
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-10-01
Fidelity Savings ASS n ~; sssssas: ss:s -
SEND ron PEa cESr. DEPOSIT PASS BOOB

EV0VE REPAIRS svsry Known make cs
- \ " ~ stove. furnaos or range 49, GEO. A.
fULLkH. lfsi Lawrence d.. Dsuvsr Phone Ih
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
Sermon by Mr.. Boyles.

AS he had previously announced, the
Rev. I. S. Boy!es preached al night AT
tho Randolph-Street Baptist Church on
the strike situation His subject was
1.-THE Gospel Way to Avoid and settle
Strikes A great many of the striking
car men were present, and 1t wac Tor
their particular benefit that the sermon
pag preached. Mr.. Boyles said IN part:
lone OF the many reasons that pro-
foundly sympathize with you Is because
you seem to be willing 70 DC goVeInea
by the principles OF justice and right.
The great multitude Of respectable peo-
pic who marched out to the Reservoir
this afternoon and heard the Gospel so
quietly and respectfully do not seem to
be lonesome. The best way TO generate
public opinion and worthy sentiment and
to command the respect of the best cltl-
zens is to continue as you are doing IN
your careful, cool and thoughtful man.
ner of trying to get this matter settled
by the principles OF the Gospel.
..Jye must all realize, In the second
place, that both capital and labor are
essential to each other. We need men OF
ca pital, large capital. to build our rail-
roads, to build our steamships, to oper-
ate. our large factories and shops we
need men of big money to endow our IN
stitutions Of learning and to push for
ward our great MISREPRESENTATION
and religious
ION the other hand. men OF small capt.
tai are not to be despised. The capital
of laborng men is their muscle, their
physical strength. their ability to make
all the property Of men with big capital
operative. The one cannot exist and
prosper and succeed without the other.
..The workingman has a right, and 1t Is
his duty and privilege TO not merely ask
fo1 decent living, but he has perfect
~ legitimate, Gospel right to ask for
wages sufficient to educate his children.
I do not hesitate to say that the chill
dren are just as much entitled to the adj
yantages of the highest possible educa-
ton and training as the children Of the
wealthiest men in this or any other COM
munity."
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
Fertilizer Bulletins.

Thirty thousand fertilizer bulletins
have just been mailed by Commissioner
Koiner to the farmers of Virginia The
farmers depend upon these bulletins In
the purchase of their fertilizer as by re-
ferring to them they can ascertain whetll,
the percentage of ingredients guaranteed
by the manufacturers. A rigid inspection
Of fertilizer offered for. sale in Virginia
Is conducted during each. season that the
goods are found on the market. Samples
are drawn by the Inspector and sent TO
the department laboratory, for analysis
bulletins. which circulate in every coun-
" In the State.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
sTATUARY AT THE CIRCUS.
The Living Pictures to Be Posed by
Prof. Frank Cosby.

Representations of Grecian statuary,
each figure in the groups being. formed
by models that would admirably {. serve rye
amateur circus by Professor. Frank Cos
by who claims to have originated the
living pictures of this character
Certain it is, that his work IN this
act ever presented here. The mechanical
devices. and the necessary light effects
will be such that each group will be
shown to the best advantage.
The coming exhibition at the Horse
Show building is.attracting good deal or
attention. and cad interest In
the event Is being asted.
The amateur CT romlses TO pc
the biggest thing Gmond on the
Fourth of July. ss
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
HEII,ooKED PLEAsANT.

i Jim sat as still as he could ard locked
as pleasant as he ever did In his lie.
The photographer touched the button
and the picture was made.
The first mail carried one Of the pic
l.she will be pleased with that, I
know declared jim M do LOOK
handsome in that picture!
.'Well. in few days Mr. Chimpanzee
got a letter from his sweetheart, and
this Is the letter: -,
"Mr James Chimpanzee. NO. III Iuiu
Jungle. Zambesla Land:
Dear Sr,-I never knew what per-
feet fright you We're until ! got your our
photogra PHI It Will Be lmpossio, nea ae
keep away from the house. Sincerely:
"CATHERINE ORANG-OUTANG.'
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
Conservation OF Church.

The conservation Of the Episcopal Church
at Summerset, in Orange county, Will oc-
cur on Monday next. The rector Of the
church is the Rev. j. r. Ellis. of Cor
louisville Bishop r. "A. Gibson vii! con-
duct the conservation service, and the
sermon will be. preached by the Rev: Z:
IL. Goodwin, of this city. a number Of
the local Episcopal clergy will be in at
tendance.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
Two Qualifications.

In the Chancery Court yesterday Mrs.
Roberta A. Warrington qualified as ad-
mlnlstratrix of the estate ate Of MargS;a,ret r
Alexander. ]. Fenton Iaylor qualified as
Taylor. Both the estates are of small
value.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23

man who dsregards the interests OF his
employer and seeks TO use him as round
in the ladder on which he may rise to
case and fame and self-enrichment, IS
sowing the seed of lower wages, lack OF
employment and want to himself and
family Just as truly. And this law holds
lust as good In all the relations OF lie.
Obedience to It means peace and prosper
ity; a violation Of 1t means discord, strife,
xYrcck and ruin.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
New Charters,

Charters were granted yesterday to the
Virginia Club, Danville. and the Virginia
Produce Company. ,christansburg,
Corporation Commission, has been made
Virginia statistician of the National AS
ISOLATION Of Railway Commissioners.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23

Hon. Lloyd II. Smith. of Northumber-
land, will sail shortly for Germany,
where he Will go forN treatment at one
of the famous watering places of that
Mr.. Smiths health has not been good
for some months
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
a Giant Radish,

The Department of Agriculture has
farm of Mr., r. r. Weisiger, near Genito,
county. The vegetable is II
inches long and II IL inches In diameter
at the largest part.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
StiII'ln New York.

Governor Montague is still in New
York, and will return here this morn,
returned Sunday night, but was detained
by some further engagements in the
metropolis.
dull about the State building.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
Gas Q Went Over.

The Hastings Court was engaged, yes
terday in the trial Of a; A,lSe White ao,,a
assault unon Moses Dean. The case was
not completed, and went over until to-
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
.I,.dp q Wexford Well.

Judge b r. Wexford, Jr., of the
CITY Circuit Court, who has been slightly
indisposed at his residence here. has so
far recovered al to be able to be out, and
he was on the bench for while yester-
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23

Hon. II. st. George Tucker will not be
o candidate for Congress from the Ienth
Virginia District against Mr. Flood. It
Is well known that Mr.. Tucker had de-
c!ded to enter the race prior to his cleo
ton a few weeks ago to chair in the
law school Of Columbia University in this
city. But he has now announced his de-
Termination to devote himself wholly to
the duties Of the law school. There Is
no gossip of opposition to Mr.. Flood, ana
he may not encounter any.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
Dlstineuishad Visitors.

Among the prominent visitors in the
city yesterday We're Judge q. Taylor
Garrett. of Mathews. and Senator, S, Il.
Lunton. of Frederick.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23

Hon. William A. Jones. member OF Con-
eress from the First Virginia District, Is
in the city He has been very busy look
ing after matters at the Departments az
fecting his constituents. Ills district. py
reason Of being SO close to Washington,
affords more work than any other IN me ne
State except the Eighth. when keeps MI !:
Rixey 40 busy. Nobody ever hears OF
Democratic opposition to the renomina,
ton OF Mr.. Jones. and there seems good
reason to believe that he will be the unan-
imous choice of the party next year.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23

Senator Martin. who has been here
day or two on business, has returned
home. Senator Martin discusses very
freely his prospects Of reelection to the
Senate next year. and is entirely salts
fled with the outlook in all the counties.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
ANIMAL STORIES
FOR OUR
BOYS AND GIRLS

Mr.. JAMES CH1MPANzEE's PIC
TURE.
Have you heard the news?" asked Joe
Baboon Of Jim Chimpanzee.
'.No: what Is it?" inquired Jim.
:Why. photographer mas come .
"And what is photographers" asked
'i "a man who takes pictures
"Will he take my picture?' inquired
"of course, he will" answered Joe.
"But what on earth do you want your
picture taken for?"
STo send to my sweetheart" said Jim,
blushing to the end of his tall. -,
"Gracious!" exclaimed Joe. You VIII
frighten the poor girl out OF her WIS.
But Jim wanted the picture. and the
very next day he went down to the
4photogra piers place.
h Now. sit real still and look pleas
anti said the photographer.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23

Judge Page Morris, of Minnesota, Is IN
the city. He Is an old cadet, and will
go to Lexington to-day to attend the In
sttute commencement and the cere-
monies attending the unwilling of the
New Market battle monument. Judge
Morris was born in Lynchburg, and has
become one of the most distinguished
LAWYERS of Minnesota. He was mem
Der Of the class of To, in which were
Adjutant- William Male. State
Treasurer Hartman, Colonel George w.
TAYLOR, of Norfolk, and other we'll known
men of Virginia and other States. He
called my attention to the fact to-day
that the Institute had furnished two
colonies to the country In the Spanish
war-Colonel Male. of the Third VIZ
GINA and Colonel Taylor, of the Fourth
Virginia. I am under the impression
that one of two other colonies of volun-
teers In the war with Spain were Insti-
tute men, and 1t is certain that many
Of the graduates held commissions of
lower grade.
The possibility Of the inauguration of
a movement to sell the Institute to the
national government was recently sug-
gested to me by a we'll known Virglniln.
One of the hest known men In the State
Is an advocate of the proposition. 1t Is
pointed out that the Institute stands
next to West Point, without competi-
tor. among the military schools of the
country. West Point is not large enough
and the cost of enlargement to make the
school meet the requirements would be
far greater than the price the State
would ask for the Institute. OF course
Virginia would retain the right to APP
point a certain number of State cadets
every year Judge Morris Is strongly in
favor Of the proposition, though he nor
any one knows whether the Congress
would vote to make the purchase or
whether the War Department would rec
Ommend It,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23

Hon. S. l.. Lupton. member of the Vir-
tginia State Senate from the district COM
posed of Shenandoah and Frederick coun-
ties and the city of Winchester. was In
the city to-day. Mr.. Lupton was for some
years in government service here and has
wide acquaintance in washington. MT;
Iupton Is a candidate for reelection.
did not discuss the outlook with him.
Judge Tavenner. who opposes him. Is
probably the strongest man that could
have made the race against him. talked
with a friend of Judge Tavenner this
week, who was absolutely confident OF the
judges election. He was certain that M
Imnton,s county. Frederick. would give
Judge Tavenner a majority of five hun
dred. and he expected Shenandoah to do
more. The claims Of Mr.. Lupton's friends
arc NOT given. IS
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-06-23
Or. Wright Out,

DR. Julian II. Wright is out after an
illness nj two weeks