The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-31

L
Go out and see If there isn't a
story in these matrimonial agencies"
said the Sunday Editor. "Join three or
four of them: brush up against the
game; meet the FLIES they have in
stock-get some good experiences.
Never mind the fake part of 1t. don't
care to expose the frauds so much as
to print some odd adventures and work
up some interesting character sketch
es. Take you time and get page, il
Illustrated"
was dead broke and unattached
and the idea pleased me.
How far shall I go in my explora-
tons p | asked. rolling cigarette.
THE limit" he replied, laconically.
Clear to the altar. Get married. Do is
up right
Then we both laughed and he con-
tinued:
"Of course you haven't got a SOU
Here's an order for SIS. Come in and
show progress and you can have more
if you need it. But mind, no blowing
money. This is not a news story. Do
1t right, and don't buy any wires"
l took the assignment gratefully and
went out on my quest. / will not
weary you with the details of my ex-
periences with the cheap, stout women
and cheap, thin men who preside over
the matrimonial agencies, and the still
cheaper females who are listed at these
places. I posed as Hiram Adams,
architect, with a limited income and
great prospects. in search of a wife
H.. i
help me get my start. I met attenu-
ated school teachers, .freckled steno-
graphers and auburn haired spinsters
residing at parental homes. I met
stout widows and thin divorces and
signing orphans of uncertain age.
School teachers seemed to predominant.
1 made appointments to call, appoint
ments to dine-all sorts of appoint
ments the expenses of which the Clar-
ion cheerfully paid as I related my
story of progress. Really accumulated
quite decent story, but in the mean
time became most heartily sick of the
assignment. The women were all so
commonplace and their conversation
so inane that it required something of
draft on my reportorial imagination,
based on the experiences of a half doz-
en- years, to make anything out of the
material.
! was about through. and had about
enough material whipped into shape,
and was entirely tired of the game,
when I met Elsie Norman, registered at
Baldy's agency as an orphan and an
heiress worth 100000 in her own name
and looking for husband through the
agency because of eccentricity.
When 1 stumbled into the little box
labeled Parlor G was totally unpre
pared for the vision which confronted
me. Listen, and 1 will try to describe
it.
A petite little person, with wealth
of light hair, not golden nor brown, nor
yet tow color, but of that peculiar
shade-Well, you know what it is as
well as /; broad forehead mis-
chievous blue-gray eyes, dainty hands
and feet; features not regular nor
beautiful. but interesting and attrac-
tive because of the intelligence mani
tested. She was gowned simply, but
with exquisite taste, and in those pc
culiar surroundings and in the light
of my recent experiences, the effect
was paralyzing. ~
1 confess that I stumbled over the
frayed rug and comported myself al
together more in keeping with my as
sumed character than had yet done.
She smiled reassuringly and apollo
gized for the rug. The conversation
do not remember very distinctly, but
before / left a date had been made
for a little supper the next evening
at coy Italian restaurant in an OBJ
Scure street, known only to the elect
| The queer thing about it was that ]
seemed to remember afterward that
she made the suggestion as to place
Also she told me that 1 had been recon-
1al 70 Io,. ~ Dol xy -
| thing (for herr he had in sight.
AS / went out Badly called me aside
and conffded to me that this girl surely
was the real thing for me.
She's rich, rich, he said, pounding
,, his old walnut desk. "and beautiful
and clever. beautiful and clever,
say, as well. Go to it,
But there's Won ting" he continued
| looking me in the eye with so piercing
an expression that quailed, old stager
that 1 was; dds tid-bit is not for d
mere fee. I hat secured it for you
If you get 1t, We must hat an under
standing. I must hat von-kewauter of
the fortune. All you needs, man, is
enough to put you in business. You
are in luck to get such a girl, anyway
Promise me kewauter, and she is
yours!"
1 shook him and fled That night ]
Slept not, because OF my burning men,
cries of the fair young heiress. II
might have been my horrible expert
ences of the past week, but she Ger :
tainly seemed to me to be the fairest
lady of my dreams that is a
whole lot: for a scalloused reporter to
say.
The following days threatened to be
the longest had ever spent. Finally,
In despair, I resolved to go to the Met
repoHtan agency and see what was
doing" although all interest in my as
signment had lapsed.
eMy deah boy, I've just what We
want" exclaimed Hobson, the man
ager. as 1 entered. "Parlor B. and get
theah quick. I ave been a-holdin' it
for we all the mornin.."
Half pushed, half walking, wholly