The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-08-13
AFTER DEER HORNS
He Wanted Two Sets of Antlers in
Velvet and Wanted
Them Bad.
He Might Have Got Too, if It Had
Not Been for the
. Colonel. "

I will tell the tale as he told it; he did 40
harm, no matter what he meant to do, and
going too far into particulars might possibly
lead to unpleasant inquiries from the unduly
inquisitive.
So from this on he speaketh:
II know 1t was dead wrong. But we all 40
wrong more or less, in this world, ana II l
never do anything worse, than that, ~ 60
to heaven in hand basket, as we used to
say where was raised. But wanted most
awfully to get set of antlers in the velvet
Or rather l should say two sets, TOR
low back home who has a fine set OF caribou
horns in velvet, and he puts on SO much
dog over it, that / couldn't stand it, and
well, took counsel of one skilled in devi.
GUS ways, and came up this way accredited
reach this malefactor had to go to little
way station up the railroad, and, meeting my
felon there, be conveyed whittier what shsa:ld
come to pass might take me- I reached the
station all right, but my guide was not there,
and l had to stay over night waiting for him
It was a tough little place with more sa1
ever saw and full of lumberDien doing the
General Cobos act, SO I strolled off up the
track to get away from the din they were
making, and there I met Colonel Carvel.
'Of course that wasn't his name, but the
colonel he was to the very life, just as If he
had stepped out of the pages of the Crisis
goatee-pulling, long frock coat, and all. And
in a little bog outside Of the town, and not
succeeding. of course, went to his aid, and
soon got all he wanted. After which he ex-
| planned that he had been up the road fish
ing, and was returning home when some d.
with stories of lake nearby where nothing
he, stopped off to try it. But he could find
do anything else for love or money, SO he was
just mad enough to insist on getting. sight
of that lake, If he had to capture his own
bait and walk both ways.
Having the frogs he needed, we walked
back to the excuse for hotel the town af-
forded and then the colonel returned to me
the bread of politeness had thrown upon the
waters of his need.
"'My young friend he said, I cannot
allow man, and especially such gentleman
God-forsaken wilderness unprovided.'. This
after had dlvulged that had no whiskey
along. and intended to spend couple of
on my part. Pure intuition sub, led me to
| know that there was no whiskey in this
country At for gentleman to drink, or to
| ten gallon key, deeming that ample provision
| for a weeks stay. Twenty -fve-yea old
Bunbon Is sub the true philosophssd
| 1t changes everything in this world to gold
| Not the sordid gold of commerce, sub, but
! the gold of the poet, sub, the same gold that
CLEANS thru the poetry OF Burns, and spoke
| West, sub. The gold that makes man the
equal OF the multi millionaire, tho he be in
makes him equal to any fate; tho fortune
frown, and cruel thumb Of the world turn
down. sub. Always. as | said, sub used
becoming Frankenstein. and devouring it's
| abuser, sub. ....
GAS Christian gentleman, sub, cannot
| patronize bar rooms, nor Is there whisky In
this country fit for gentleman to drink, sub
| as said before Now, sub, cannot bear to
| think of you going into that desert, as 1 said
ahnt son 81 and must insist
must insist, sub, and will hear of no re-
fusal."
He didn't hear Of any from me, and we
parted the next morning, when my mar
good will # the colonel could only hav,
"Buhb on"-but that's getting ahead. I'll,
malefactor and I sampled the jug severa
times going. out-and 1.-THE past rises before
me like dream" at least so much of thu
the land of the lotus eaters, and stayed Their,
till was on the cars again. and headed fo
town. In fact, became as the gentleman toll
of in Tennyson's Princess who had
queer habit Of seeing things that were no
there, without the aid OF liquor.
| seemed , to dream aa OF many ian things, ever
visions of an old lumber camp dimly re
member being afioat on the styx, padded b.
| Charon carrying most beautiful 'beaut.
I see myself, as thru glass darkly, firing a
some gigantic beast of most Plutonian aspec
and being dragged out of a whirling chaos o
hoofs. horns, mud, water and weeds, all o
which struck me as things in which I hat
no personal interest, Immediately after.
t'I also have a vague impression Of start
ing to cross lake in birch bark canoe
and giving way to an impulse to stand on m.
head in it. And I know that when I reached
the little station from which had starte'
that had no gun, and that my felontou
friend refused to accept cent from me
saying that any man who brung sech licke
up with i'm, an was gentleman nough t
share it the way / did, might lose his gun fe
i'm, burn down his shack, kill his dog, e
| shoot an arm or leg fer i'm, an never pa
cent, nor would he have any kick COMMIT
"But Of what else transpired, If anythin
did, I have not the faintest idea. But
'Scanderberg's sword needs Scanderberg'
ARM surely 25-year-old Kentucky Bourbo
needs Kentucky head, and an educated on
1T that, and the owner of less had better z
TO bed before he drinks it, and stay Their
while it's effects last. : &C. c. Kelly.