davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-08

swapping Fish Stories. Hailfellow employed couple of Clerks who knew more about a Cash Register than the Man that invented it.
 He issued Pass-Books to all those who cared for his Jokes. The Drummers would jump sew eral Towns in order to get to him in a Hurry because, if Hailfellow liked Drummer, heiwould order a thousand gross of Lamp Chim- neys rather than appear cold and unsociable. In a short time he had a Magnificent Stock, but he z could not remember exactly how much it cost him. So he sold Goods at whatever seemed to be Reasonable and the Farmers drove long distances so as to give him their Trade.
 In the meantime Crouch was reaping, the sure Reward of one who is not kind to his Fellow-Man. People did not care to patronize one whose Conversation consisted very largely of Grunts and why should they do so, when they could go right across the Street and buy Stuff below Cost, and Joke given away with every Purchase?
 Crouch began to lose Money and the Rent ate up his Invested Cap ital. At last the Jobbers closed in on him and asked the Sheriff to step in and the Sheriff said he would do so, as soon as he got through closing up the Hailfellow Matter.
 MT. Hailfellow had done a rushing Business. He owed nearly every Wholesale House west of New York and in addition to laying up the most remarkable mess of Junk ever seen under one Roof, he had collected the Autograph Sig natures of all the Paupers in the County. Four Experts worked for a Month trying to find out where he stood and at last they figured out IA Cents on the Dollar. 7
 It is always pleasant to record a Reconciliation. After all their Differences and Misunderstand- ings, Hailfellow and Crouch came together and resumed Friendly Re lations.
 Both are employed by a New Concern which bought up the Bankrupt Stocks.
 Crouch is keeping the Books at not very much per Month and Hailfellow receives exactly the same Salary for standing around the front Doorway and glad-hand- ing the Yaps.
 Which proves that it is impossi- ble for a Business Man to side step his Destiny.
 MORAL: Pick out the Other Kind for a Partner
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-08

gamble. Does J. Pierpont Morgan buy his own bonds? It's the same thing. I wisht I did. In ivry other business in life tn ilimint iv lawyer, tn money lender takes risks. His days are enlivened be excitement. But there ar-re no risks in this business. It's wan dull, monotonous grind, tn same ol' percintage, tn same dhreary gatherin' in iv tn mazuma, till me heart sickens within me an I'm almost timpted to thry some risky pursoot like pawnbrokin' Wanst in a while tn dead waste iv monotony is enllyened be an accident. Wan iy me op'ratives sprained his wrist las week takin' tn morey firm an expert account ant who had a system that no one cud bate. Sometimes man comes in here without system at all. They was wan such las week. We cnd on'y take half what he got an had to go out an wait fir him in a muddy alley to get tn r-rest. But these cases ar-re rare. l on'y mintion thim to show ye how excited we become with tn smallest pleasures. It's dhreary, dhreary life. lawn. go over to tn hotel ar see what ails tn jock iv Rosen. He's late
 "I took tn poor man be tn hand, Hinnissy, an says l.: But, mo poor frind, is there no way to enliven ye'er pursoot?' l says. Is there no way iv increasin' tn chances again yer l says. 'None,' says he, while there ar-re so man. ny people with pear-shaped heads he says. An tear was in his eye as he felt f. me watch. 1 looked acrost at Hogan. Tn Goddess iv Chance was settin' back in his chair twirlin' her moustache. Ho- gan was standin' up an his face wore a bright green flush firm tn passion iv play. He felt in his vest pocket an projooced collar button an a pinch iv smokin' to- bacco. How is tn system? says
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-08
* MIR. COOLEY ON GAMBLING.


financed. Me system, he says, needs nourishment.' he says.
 Its a surprise to me, Hinnissy, that tn men r-runnin gamblin' houses ain't broke. Maybe they ar-re broke. Maybe they're broke an jus keep up tn game because it's a thradition in tn family an they're proud an they don't want tn ol folks at home to hear they've quit an they need occypa- ton to amuse thim, like Rocky feller. But it's a shame to take their luck with that kind iv money. warn him now. A curse will hang over tn ill-gotten gains wrenched firm tn poor, ign'rant gambler be means iv lead pen cil an a prim'ry arith-metic. He may die rich but his conscience will afflict him to tn end an his name will be spoken with scorn be future gin'rations to come. Tn law ought to shtep in an in- therfere. Nanny a gambler who has spint tn bes,, years iy his life dalin' two at time an haul in in sleepers, is in fear iy his life that tn jock iy Rosen will day scind on him, slug him with his system an take tn bread an butther out iy tn mouths iv his childher an tn di'monds out iv tn ears iy his wife. Wan iv our naytional industries is threat ened. If this sign iy arrystocracy can come over here an room our gamblers. what's to prevint him firm robbin' Russell Sage or de- privin' Hetty Green iy tn dis comforts iv life?
 q niver was in gamblin' house but wanst. Hogan took me there. Besides bein' pote he's a great fi-nancier. He believes in Marco ni's tillygraft. Come up,' he says, 'an' help me woo tn Goddess iv Chance he says. I have a sys- tenn he says. I haven't seen tn lady fir years I says, but I'll go along an see ye, home whin she turns loose tn dog on ye,' I says. Where does she live nowq' I says. Over Dorsey's saloon,' he says. An I wint with him. Tn God dess iv Chance certainly lives well, Hinnissy. They was a nay gur at tn dure an tn room was full iv light firm chandyleers an they was onyz cuspidors upon tn flure. Business seemed to be good but I cudden't see tn Goddess an- nywhere. Where Is tn Goddess iv Chance?' I ast Hogan. Here" says he, settin' down in front iv tn wheel an pushin' over his pay envelope. She's a burly lady says I, fr tn Goddess had a black
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-08

moustache an wore a sthraw hat with a hole knocked in it. Woo her very gently says l. Not look in fir amy chances I wint over to tn side-boord an dealt mesilf two dollars worth iv turkey I was imp tyin' tn pickle dish whin tn own CT iv tn parlor took me be tn arm an led me away to a quite corner. He was 8 nice man, an him an me soon had our feet in each others laps.
 'Ye have a fine business here,' says I. It's betther thin it was a few minyits ago, says he. But it's a. dull life I don't see what r-right ye have to complain says. 'Ye have a gran palatchial place, l says. 'Ye ought to be hap py with these Brussels carpets, glass chandyleers an joole6 spit toons,' l says. What dye want?' I says. That's what ivrybody thilss, says he. People invy LIS who know nawthin' about tn hardships iv tn life. In tn first place, l detest cards. I niyer gamble he says. 'Befure I left me home in Injianny, me father who was Methodist minister in Terry Hut placed his hand on me head an said: "Tkey, ye ar.re goin' out into tn wurruld. Promise me niver to touch a card" I prom ised an I've kep' me VOW. I wisht he hadn't ast It's thrue I have made some money but tn life is dogs life afther all. have es- tablished a fine business although tn hours is long an they'se a great dale iv wear an tear firm tn polls an we're obliged to have tn windows shut to keep in tn noise iv tn chips an tn suckers an tn smell, he says. I have a reli'ble staff. That salesman be- hind tn faro box is an excellent clerk. I pay him eight dollars night an he arms it. Tn wheel wright who is jus now handin' ye'er frind with tn specs a stack iv bone in exchange fir a patcher iv Salmon P. Chase Is cap'ble an trustworthy. Tn bright-lookin' fel- low at tn chuck-a-luck table took out iv brokers office an made man iv him. He was a con-nrmed gambler but today he is thurly reli'ble. All this, iy coorse, is satisfactory to a busi- ness man. But what complain iv is tn occupation Is so teejous. It's tn same thing night afther night. They'se no excitement. Tn same dull routine in th' same overheat- ed air, tn same chin to chin chat with tli' young. dhrunk an' affic- donate childher iv tn rich. don't
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-08

NCE upon a Time there 1" was a Firm doing Busi- N y ness under the Name of Hailfellow and Crouch.
 They had a large Retail Estab- lishment, upon entering which the Customer was greeted by the mingled Odors of Kerosene, Roast ed Coffee, Leather, Herkhimer County Cheese, Navy Plug, Dried Apples and petrified Goldfish. In the good old Summer Time it was not necessary to go into the Store in order to get the complicated Aroma. Farmers driving by could come very near guessing what Hailfellow and Crouch carried in Stock.
 The Firm did Nice Business and used to split quite a Piece of Money every January 1st. But neither one was satisfied. Each felt that he was entitled to at least two-thirds of the Net Profits.
 MT. Hailfellow was the Hand Shaker for the Outfit. His Long Suit was to know everybody and call him by his front Name. On every pleasant Day he stood in front of the fragrant Emporium, in his Shirt Sleeves, holding pub lie Levee.
 He was quiet Josher and knew lot of good Jokes that he had once heard in a Minstrel Show at Columbus, Ohio, and that made him very strong with the Country Trade.
 Furthermore, he was good Mixer. He belonged to the K. P.'s and the Odd Fellows and a few others, so that about four Nights out of the week he would fill his Pockets with mild Smokers, usu- ally neglecting to make out a Ticket, and then he would pike for the Lodge Room and let his Part ner and the Boy with the Pink Shirt attend to the Store.
 If there was an Auction Sale or a Base Ball Game or Circus any where within Radius of 20 Miles, then MT. Hailfellow would put on his Dark Suit and stand-up Collar and drive over, just to get his Mind off of his Business. In one Way and another he managed to keep his Mind off of Business about seven-eighths of the Time.
 Sometimes, when he was around the Store, and there was Satur- day Rush, he would have to wait on a few Customers, but he was shine Salesman because he never could make out what the Cost-Mark meant.
 MT. Crouch, the Partner, pos sessed a Good Head of Business but he had the Social. Disposition
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-08
During Lent

And the dark February days don't you think twould be wise to do some of your spring sewing? Especially when you can buy White Goods at prices like these
 Masalia, satin finish, 40-inch, 4Oc quality, 25c
 400 bolts Long Cloth, 36-inch, 15c quality, 12-yard bolts, 1.50
 English Nainsook, soft finish, 35c quality. 25c
 Pure Linen Cambric, 36-inch, S100 quality, soc
 Persian Lawn, very sheer, 32- inch 35c quality, 25c
 Checked Striped Dimity, 25c quality, 19c
 Embroidery Floucings for cor set covers and flouncings, 15 to IS inches wide; worth COG to 75c yard, 45c
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-08
The Ferd Marx Store A Special Sale Of
 Art Goods.

Our Art Department opens up Monday with this special Sale of Art Materials. This department, opened up prac- tically by the request of our trade, on account of not being able to find exactly what they wanted elsewhere, and having to pay big prices to-day it's business is four times as much as then. We control some of the best lines of art goods in America and show many pret- ty and exclusive styles. All special priced next week.
 Filo, Twist and Roman Floes Silk dozen. 39k Bear Lustre for Mount Milliols9 work, dozen, 2oc Orion Floss, all colors, dozen.
 3so Battenberg Braids. all widths. dozen, ee Battenberg Rings. all sizes. dozen, 4o Battenberg Thread, all numbers. spool, 4c Teneriffe Wheels for Taora Work, all sizes, dozen, 25c Battenberg Patterns, all designs, collars, handkerchiefs. turn-overs, centerpieces, scarfs and panels.
 D. M. c. Cotton for briar stitch ing, balls, 25c Dexter Knitting Cotton, all num- bers, Dc Silk Finish Crochet Cotton, ball,
 40 Barbour's Flax, white, all num- bers, 6c New Pillow Tops. stamped and ready for embroidery, 50c quality,
 39o New Autographed Pillow Tops, Fencing Girl" different poses; Will O the Wisp," and "Suzette." Tapestry Pillow Tops, 6se Silk Pillow Tops, 75c Satin Pillow Tops, 1.19 Japanese Pillow Tops. hand embroidered In gold thread and silk floss, $500 kind 1.3e Mercerized Pillow Cords, all col ors, 1Oe Silk Pillow Cords, all colors, 200 Sofa Pillows, ready made, tap estry pattern tops, $1.25 quality,
 69c Ice Wool, all colors, ball. 12Hc Germantown Wool, skein, 12Rc SaXony Wool, 12Hc Shetland Floss. 18c Spachtel Dresser Scarf, 20x54.
 39c Spachtel Table Cover, 1.19 Tambour Dresser Scarfs, 20x54,
 gao Tambour Table Covers, 75c Damask Table Cover, four quar- ter, 4sc
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-08
6H-H HATS a gamb- O OON\H lin system?" VAW asked MT. Hen-'
 S nQeey

AS nessv
 "A gamblin' system" said MT. Dooley," like alyenation iv afflic- tions is wan way iv maxim live lihood among tn British arrystoc- racy. A young jook in New York has tn best wan iyer heerd iy. He's been tellin' about it. On Jan ooary twinty-eighth,' he says, I held a meetin' iv me syndicate. Unforchnitely siyral iv tn mos enthusyastic an incurable was ab- sent. 1t bein' busy day in tn in- sane coort. but at nightfall I was able to speed with tin thousan dollars ill tn sweat-band iv me coronet to tn altar where tn God dess iv Fortune, riprisintin syn dicate iv binivolent jews, presides, he says, over tn exercises iv her votaries,' he says. Tn other wur- ruds, I wint to play tn foolish wheel he says. I will read firm me di'ry: Thursdah: Played on'y tn twinty-sivin an tn three, fir I'm thirty years ol today, an three firm thirty laves twinty- siven. Tn system wurrulSs splin- didly. I dropped on'y two thou san. whereas tn man on wan side iv me, that was playin a dhream his wife had. los twinty- five hundherd, an tn man on tn other side iv me who was asleep los three thousand an a Masonic imblim. A good day. Fridah: To day I play tn four, tn siven an tn thirteen. twice four bein' siven an thirteen tn reg'lar Fridah number. Almost won twinty thousand. Lost six thousan'. Sat urdah: Play tn color system. am determined to win. Tn bank ividintly is afraid iv me, f'r tn crooper has jus tol' me in voice croopy with emotion that he will accipt on'y money f'r chips. It is too aisy. l play tn fred Tn crooper is white with fear. can hear him move his feet narvously undher tn table like a man wur- rukin' sowin' machine. Tn wheel stops suddenly. It is black. How sthrangel Sundah: It is my day. Tn betther tn day tn betther I'll do thim. But they ar're frightened. They rayfuse to turn fir a pair iv cuff buttons an a solid, gun-metalS cigareet case. I lave tn room an as I go out, tn crooper to concale his fear whistles: "Ar-re they amy more at home like you?" will take me system to America an have 1t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-08
The Ferd Marx Store The Ferd Marx Store

l. Tn system is all right says he. An how ar-re ye? says I. It's a fine, starlight night" says he. Lave us walk home he says"
 Don't ye suppose they'se amy system iy gettin their money?" asked Mir. Hennessy.
 "They'se on'y wan" said MT. Dooley.
 Whats that?" asked MT. Hen messy.
 Its called tn polls system," said MT. Dooley.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-08
Near 500 Dozen
 Towels
On Special Sale MOndaD

A fortunate purchase of this lot of towels at about one third cheaper than prevailing prices, coming at a time when they are a stimulus to our erade and a big bargain to you. They are priced like this:
 Hemmed Huck Towels, all linen, 1Sx36, extra heavy weight, made for hard service, 20c quality, dozen,
 1.75 Irisi Huck Towels, 1Sx36, em- bossed, fancy damask borders, hemstitched ends, 25c quality, dozen, 2.25 Irish Huck Towels, 20x40, good weight, hemstitched ends, colored or plain borders, 39e quality, dozen,
 500 Silver bleached Huck Towels, 20x40, damask borders, beautiful designs, 50c quality, dozen, 400
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15
CHARMING Party.

Covers were laid for twenty-five al
Mrs. Cccilio Rosenwald's gorgeous
Japanese luncheon yesterday tMon-
day. afternoon. So short a trip tc
the nowery kingdom seemed d tremen'
dpus surprise to the bewildered scenic
artist, who grouped the pretty ladies
In full kimona finery, AZ they partook
Of the dainties and later as they soft.
ly chatted In the garden.
There was much merriment as the
oriental maidens sought for n glimpse
OF the future In the mysterious cake
laden with symbols Of their destinles.
The fortunate cuts revealed a silver
piece for riches N d heart for you
know" while the li.tle elephant be-
spoke the beauties Of single blessed.
ness.
Mrs. Ruscnwald provided unique
games OF national skill, Miss Rosen-
thai winning the coveted gong. Miss
Eta Strauss carrying OF the eThe
Wooing Of Wisteria.' while Mrs. Men
net was consolcd with a handsome
cup and saucer, and Mrs. VIM. N,
Rosenthal viii slumber on the tinselei
cushion.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15
v. IA. G. a. Notes.

The do Things" club we're the
guests OF Mr.. and Mrs. W. @. Koogler
last night and enjoyed a fine social
evening.
No program being ready several
boys were called upon to render solos
and recltations. Those responding
were Willie Fleck. Roy Morris, Leo
Tibergheim and John Hates.
Refreshments were served by Mrs.
Koogler and a vote Of thanks was
rendered her BY the boys Of the club.
In conclusion Mr. Katcs gave q
short talk on In Bondage But Not
Bound, the little lsraelitish maiden in
scrian captivity.
The club will be the guests Of the
boys Sunshine club next Monday
evening at the home Of Karl Lehman
A good program will be prepared,
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15
TEACHERS WANTED.
supply II Mora County Greatly Below
the Demand-Three Schools
Started.

Don Rafael Romero. the hard-work-
ing superintendent OF schools fol
Mora county, Is spending the day In
the city. He informs The Optic that,
while there are something like fifty
school districts In his county, the mum
Der Of teachers who succeeded In So
curing licenses at the recent examina-
ton Is moi more than fifteen Or six
teen This means that other counties
must be drawn on II the Mora schools
are all supplied this year.
Only three schools In the county
have begun work. At Watrous Miss
Nettie T.. Coffee has a good school and
the attendance Is very satisfactory.
Prof. j. i. Gumm. formerly Of Albu.
querqne, has returned 10 Wagon
Mound. where he formerly taught
with much success. In the town Of
Mora only two OF the Ave teachers
wanted have been secured, but the
schools have opened.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15

What might have been a very serl'
Gus affair was narrowly averted at
the Montezuma hotel at Hot Springs
at 6:io p. m. during the supper hours.
Charley Hoffman. the big Ger.
mai baker. called the pantryman., d
young fellow rs years of age. 10 The
inside Ice box. supposedly TO tell
him something, just what Is not
known. and Immediately floorcl the
boy and was beating him with a beer
bottle most numerically when Il
young man by the name Of Buck came
70 his rescue Just In the nick Of time
TO avert further punishment Of the
lad.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15
A pisaraceful Scene.

The Optic Is informed that as a re.
suit Of the wide open saloons last Sun
day a most d~isgraceful and sickening
scene was To be witnessed In
this community from morning
until late at night. In the rear of
one saloon. according to the testimony
OF a citizen, there were from five TO
fifteen drunk men All different hours
OF the day who exhibited the most
beastly stages OF intoxication In its
most sickenlng aspects. They yelled
and sang, embraced each other. fell
over one another. fought and bias.
phemcd, leaned against the fence
while they soaked whiskey until their
legs could no longer sustain their tot.
tering frames and then fell 10 the
ground and lay with their head down
hill. grouped IN grotesque and disgust.
ing figures lii the dirt and filth. An
idea Of the scene can be gathered
from the fact that the town marshal,
when his attention was called to the
fact, arrested at one time seven Of the
offenders against law and decency and
put them In the jail The law directs
that all saloons and other places Of
business be closed on Sunday and we
may expect its violation TO be attend.
cd with Just such scenes as this.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15
Golnu 10 4 Banquet.

Fourteen district managers and
agents for the Equitable Life Insur-
ance company were passengers
through the city this morning on their
way TO Denver 10 attend an elegant
banquet rendered by Second vice.Pres.
ident George Il. Tarbeli OF New York.
Among the number were tho South.
western general manager, Edward
Grunsfeld, OF Albuquerque; Assistant
Manager L. L. Gatewood and District
Agent X. I. Blair Of Albuquerque. V.
a. Fisher Of Flagstaff, 7. IL. Dalton
OF Phoenix. w. j. Peck Of lei paso.
G. 7. Waiter OF Yuma, and Howard Il.
Baum OF Tuscon. The insurance men
from the southwest constitute a jolly
crowd and they expect to have one
Of the times OF their lives.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15

The remains Of Chas. Parry, a gen
tleman &c years OF age. who died III
the city yesterday. were placed aboard
No. 2 passenger train today, con
signed 10 the old home In Camden
N. j. Edward Parry, a brother. was
In charge. The brother came west q
year ago for tho health OF the do
ceased. They went into camp near
Boulder, Colo. Tho present summer
was spent in camp near Gren's Lake.
The young mans life was prolonged,
but the disease was too firmly fixed be,
fore the wholesome measures were Ia.
ken to permit OF more than temporary
alienation.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15

Harvey News Auditor Mccrear,
went south last night. Mr.. Mccrca.
rvs -four big grips had been brought
TO the station platform by a porter
who went 10 sleep. When the train
started the grips were siill on the plat.
form. The porter aroused and emil.
vened by the stentorian approximations
Of the auditor, did a heavy stunt and
got the luggage stoard,
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15

Word comes from Kansas Of an
afternoon tea given by Miss Lois
Coffee. last year a successful teacher
In the high school The young lady
was assisted In receiving by Miss
Amanda waters and the guest Of hon
or was Miss Lucy Beers of Kansas
City.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15

The body Of Frank Miller. a young
man who died in the city OF tubor-
culosis. has been shipped TO his home
In Usage, Ia, for burial. A brother,
J. ]. Miller. accompanied.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15

Among those in town yesterday
evening and this morning from outly.
Ing districts we're Gregorio Alacon Of
villanueva. Fernando Baca Of Anton
Chico, Rafael Romero OF Mora. and
CrescencIo Manzanares Of vIllanneya.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15

Wen soon have ne kick coming on
the kind Of ca%ntaloupc sent up by the
grocer. as the aso Is about at an
end. But the coal man may as well
prepare his armor. as people are not
going TO be denied the privilege II
kicking.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15

The committees Of the Baptist.
Methodist and Presbyterian young
peoples societies delegated TO fora
. city union. will meet tonight at the
NJ. u. church al tao o'clock.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15

A special meeting Of the ~stockhold-
ers OF the Montezuma club has been
called for next Tuesday, Sept. 22. at 5
.. IN. A matter Of material impor.
lance will be under discussion and NIL
stockholders are urged 70 be present.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-09-15

The DiIts bowling alley Is being
patronized day and night these days.
Great interest Is being taken III the
sport. There are a number Of crack
bowlers in the city and some good
scores will undoubtedly be made. as
the alleys are IN prime condition.