The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-05-31
FUN OF THE WORLD.

little boy his nghtdress his knees. saying
his and his little sister could resist the
long as he could and then said ;ease. God excuse
while knock the stuffn' out OF Nellie
]. T. Trowbrdge. the course "reminiscences
in the Atlantic monthly story Oliver Wendell
Holmes and Longfellow One afternoon in the Of
which writing 1 CHANGED TO can Mr.. LonsfeI-
low just after he had received visit from Dr.. Holmes.
What delightful he is.' said but he has left
he generally does with headache" When In
quTed the cause. he replied The OF his mind
is much rapid than mine that often find Diff
cult follow him. and if keep strain for length
OF time headache is penalty"
&
The rival candidates Office Chicago
holding a joint discussion.
The they called the judge had a smatterng OF
learning.
The they called the colonel had learning
could talk the bark of tree.
My opponent. the colonel says I'm against the
Chinese Exclusion law Now, for my own part l don't
snap Of my finger whether the Chinese
lowed this country They've done
any harm. and I'd just lief they'd here a
the Turks the japanese. the Persians, of
them Asiatics."
gustbus disputandum." interrupted the other
candidate.
You're another the colonel He the ap-
plause.
&c &c
The stage presented pretty scene. In the first
graduates. young girls dressed in white.
each carry large bunch of carnations and young
man, relates the Huntington Va. Herald.
q <
Pitchpenny stepped abroad the Fourth
paid fare conductor who very busy.
forgot that he had received the nickel and at Seventh
street held out his hand
Fare" he said
L paid you half mile back" protested Mr. Pitch
penny.
Il think not" rejoined the conductor
Il say 1 did"
II say you didn't"
Mr.. Ptchpenny hestated a moment. then said.
with the air of injured citizen:
Don't you a got on about five min
utes and held onto his nickel if he didn't
to give it and almost had 10 pry it of his
hand?'
Yes"
We'll that was me-"
Il you now" said the conductor passing on
with grin.
q
a Missouri there a good deacon
who. despite harsh voice. always joins
erously in the singing at church. In the
boy proud possessor of a gor-
geous string profanity. very of dis
playing His mother. finding her had appre-
cable effect in expurgang from the youthful vocabulary
the Objectionable words him the
she has all confluence to If the latter put
stop to the swearing habit That dsntary pictured
the boy the beauties and then told him that those
take the Lords in vain enter there The
boy pondered
What do folks do in heaven. deacon?' he asked.
'Oh, play harps and sing"
Are you going there play harps and sing when
you die deacon?"
Il hope TO, SON" replied the deacon modesty.
'The what's hell lke?" asked the boy earnestly, after
thought
x x
a tough, wiry-looking called a banker and
asked for job The banker asked the what he
could
We'll. used to be foot racer" the replied. Il
the fastest in the country
The banker replied that he couldn't a foot racer
however fast he might be- but finally told the he
would give him work sheep ranch he owned in the
short-grass country The there and in a
week the banker followed.
How you getting aong?' the banker asked the
"Oh, WELL he replied. the sheep all right.
easy, but l having good deal OF trouble with the
lambs"
Lambs the banker replied. in surprise; 4
lambs"
"Oh. yes. you have the man replied; come out
here and / will show them to you. ! had a hard chase
after them. but L finally caught them"
WhereupOn he led the banker out to the corral. and
showed him ten jackrabbs carefully tied to the fence
with strings
x x x