The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1903-12-03
~.
oossIPING HUMBUGS AND THE
QUILTIN' BEE. ~
-(Conttnued

Then after some more OF the Baptists
agreed that Mrs. starkweathers ideas
were quite to their liking, old Mrs. Haw-
kins, Eliza James mother, and / think
now that she put her mother up to say
II. spoke up and says in the dolefulest
kind OF a way:
Yes, it's just as Sister Starkweather
says, and j do hope that the members
OF other denominations will finally be
saved I'm one way or another. but / can't
see how they can unless they're immers-
ed In the water. I am afraid they'll be
eternally lost II they feel satisfied with
simply being sprinkled, for It's agin the
Scriptures"
was a knittin' n pair of stockin's. for
some poor heathen I'm Ingy suppose. and
when they'd got as far as immersion"
seems so L couldn't knit fast enough.
I'm naturally kind OF sensitive. and being
so thoroughly Congregational orthodox
through and through, couldn't stand
II any longer, and so j broke right in
and says
You've been real good to neighbors
OF mine for such a good many years. but
I never heard you make such unreason-
able remarks before in all my life. and
] don't believe anybody In Canterbury
has nuther Why. what on earth are
You thinkin' about? DO you suppose the
Almighty put us on this earth like lot
OF sheep TO be marked according to our
belief with red and blue chalk? Red for
immersion and blue for sprinklip and
that nobody can git into Heaven unless
they've got a red stripe? The Scriptures
say that we shall be baptized by the spir-
st, so the water is only, a symbol 10 show
ones faith you see. II a person amt got
the spiritual desire, all the water in
lMorses Pond won't do him any good
II don't say so OF all Baptists, but there's
isome folks that I konw of, belonging to
that church that's got the most nonsen-
eical understandin about religious mat
ters that was ever heard on since the
creation. or all things, If Il amt enough
TO stir ones feelin's up to fever heatl'
got so riled up seems so Ia got 10 git
Sup and walk the house I'm order to con-
ftain myself. But l kept right on and
says:
"Just because other Christian Societies
consider baptism as referrin' to spir-
itual baptism and that the water is only
secondary, or a symbol OF faith to help
carry out the form you are going to be
charitable enough. TO pitchfork us into
perditiop without givin' us chance TO
gasp why, suppose we're wrong, which
y
II you live up 20 the light you've got
that you amt TO blame for the darkness
you blunder into?
You know he does! Seems so Baptsts
are bound 10 make IL out that the Lord IL
on their side, and they will have II that
other folks chances are slim.
for redemption IL you'd all left your
envy and selfshness under the water
when you was immersed as you ought to.
you'd see God havin' n smile for every
body that loves him. whether he's a Bap-
tist Methodist. or anything else. But as
Jasper Corning says, a good many
would have 10 stay under for good In or
der to do thatr There's some Baptists
that's got better sense than to think no.
body else has got a chance OF heaven, but
I'm talkin' now about the close commu-
MON. hardshell kind, that you can't dent
with an axe. Why, II you'd only stop to
think you'd see IT'S sin to talk so. for
don't the Lord say unless a. man be born
OF the spirit he cannot enter heaven? But
He doesn't say simple immersion is the
kind OF birth he means-its n change of
heart. an inward desire to live a better
life. and abide by the ten commandments.
IL Il amt what Is it?'
Then l say. THE Bible says Let anoth-
or praise thee and not thine own mouth;
a stranger. and not thine own lips But
most OF the church denominations now
there is done about themselves, and don't
give a stranger any chancev
All OF our society folks was smilin' and
acted as tickled as could be while / was
rakll' them over. Finally. I finished up by
saying .the .Christian shows his symp-
toms by an Improvement I'm his daily life,
Just as natural as a sick child will show
returning health when the medicine has
killed the old disease and he won't talk
about his neighbors any more IL he was
in the habit OF doin' So and he won't
think he or she has got the only real re-
lgion there Is nuther."
Then Eliza Hawkins spoke up and
says: Yes, or Just as natural as butter
is the result OF churning cream
"I suppose butter" says ]. has got a
good deal to do with baptism and re-
ligion7"
"oh." says she. '1t serves as an illus
.tration pretty we'll"
well" says T. about the only thing
that can see that IL illustrates is that
IL some OF the women OF Canterbury
would mmerse their butter I'm good clean
water little more there would be less
buttermilk I'm Il and more good butter in
the market. but suppose that's what
you wanted 10 talk about when you start
ed I'm on religion. But my opinion is that
aduterated subjects don't suit any better
than adultcrated butter. and to adulter-
Hie y SlCffn SUBJECT ~ SUCH n way Il lillbk
IL sacriligious but II you want 10 talk on
butter. I'm ready and been ready for an
hourr'
And then she spoke very sweet and
said. you mustn't be sensitive or envlous
because a Baptist and nelghbor has
won the premium at the fair. for the pre-
rnIums were awarded by the judges"
or all things alive. the idea OF telling
me that was envious OF the Cobses !
told her that never envied anybody
nuthin and that I'd just as soon Cobb
would have the prize az anybody else.
but after ] said IL. ~ ia been In the habit
Of lying I should said ia told one. But
what else could I say7 guess the Bibles
right when n says "the truth is not 10 be
spoken at all times" but that doesn't
mean we shall lie. not by any means.
However don't believe ! shall have any
thing TO answer for