New-York tribune., 1903-03-28
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The appointnent of Canon Spooner as warden
of New College. oxford, has given the English
press an to tell numerous stories or thlt
abSentmnded and nears1gnted SchoIar E1eFe are
two ones:
A gentleman. whom may call Smith fer the
sake of convenience, had come UP from his school
to compete entrance scholarship at New
College and was directed TO report himself to
Mr. Spooner certain hour. On his entering
the room in a highly nervous state the dean, look
ing up from his work, addressed him as Mr.
Chomondeley and proceeded TO reprove him with
the utmost severity and solemnity for the irregu-
Iarity Of his attendance at chapel during the last
few weeks concluding with the threat that any
further delinquency in this respect would be treat
ed very seriously indeed. 1t only at this point
that the petrfed youth rallied his faculties and
managed stamner that his name was not
Chomondeley, and that he not member of
the college The dean. petrified in his turn gasped
and said he excessively sorry to hear 1t. The
incident then terminated.
Another and less authentic story Of the tricks
which Canon Spooners sight occasionally plays
him Is told. The wind. it is said blew his hat and
as pursued 1t down the street black hen darted
across the path. The canon. becoming confused.
pursued the hen for distance, cornered it In
a doorway and seized it, Unobservant OF its strug
giles and happy in the belief that he had recovered
his hat, he carried it under his arm fo- greater
safety back to college. where the porter was the
first to point out the nature Of his capture.
A MONUMENTAL SUGGESTION.
If it were mine to build a new
Washington monument,
To make it different
Honors our Country's Dad
But never gives hint of him.
How good he was-or bad.
I'd build q shaft as high as that
Which honors him to-day
And near the top I'd have green boughs
d OF 3 eheIry Try botto9o sTing ana 15Hd STdy cnon
A nick the whole way. round.
And imitation chips and bark
I'd scatter on the ground.
And high up on the top Of tt
This cherry tree of stone
"a place e6 hatehet tBa a PgQad sd and gT695 bright
TOO old T9Ga 10 be 'S repeated a3d afq s grow"
About our Country's Dad,
The world would look at this, and know
-Brcoklyn Life.
woman named Shook passed her 1929 birthday
at Atchison, Kan last week and is still hale and
hearty. Her house stands 4 bit of ground which
she rented when a young and paid so for
the use of it long she lived. Two generations
Of the family have passed since the lease was
made. and the $50 seems good for several years
more work
Ned-In dreadfuIly worried about my debts
Jack-It must he very annoying to be continually
Ned-Oh hang the dunsi What worries me is
City Journal.
always safe try pleasant little jokes
people indiscrimirately. The Italian composer Ie-
oncaVallo tells an amusing story or himSef IN Tit
Bits" One day. when visiting town in italy. he
heard that his opera, ''Paglacci.' to be pro-
duced. and he decided to hear it incognito It was
not generally known that the young composer
IN town. It happened that his seat was beside
bright eyed and enthusiastic young lady. who,
tcing that he did not join in the general applause
but remained quiet, turned 10 him and asked
why do you not applaud? Does IT not suit yOu?'
LeoncavalIO. much amused, answered: No; on the
contrary. 1t displeases me 1t is the work OF
mere beginner. not to call him anything worse"
''Then you ignorant Of music she said. oh
no." replied the composer. Then he proceeded to
enlghten her on the subject proving the music
worthless and entirely without originality. Sec"
said he this motif is --.' and he hummed light
ly short melody; this aria is stolen from Bizet
and that is from Beethoven" In short, he tore
the whole opera into pieces. His neighhor sat In
silence, but with air of pity her Countenance
At the close she turned to him and said: "Ts what
you have said to me your honest opinion?" En-
trey So the reply. Good" said she, and
with malicious gleam In her eyes left the theatre
Next morning, glancirg the paper. his
fell upon heading 'Ieonca on His 'PagIi-
acci.'' and reading further somewhat startled
to hnd the conversation of the eyening before fully
reported and accredited to the proper source. He
had, unfortunately played his little joke a
| porter, who had proved too smart for him.
Little Gertrude-Ma, prayers always an
| Mother-Ycs child
Little Gertrude-Well ma don't YOU think lot
of mistakes are made filling orders?-Judga.
| Germany has q pay wedding. at which the bride
| receives her guests with q basin before her. in
which each person entering deposit$ Jewel, sill
spoon a piece of money. In some parts of
Germany the rule Is that the expenses OF the
marriage feast shall be met by each guest paying
for what he eats drinks The prices paid for
viands and drinks high. and the young couple
often make handsome profit out Of their wedding
realizing a quite sufficient to start them nicely
| IN life
Miss Youngthyng-And what would you say
george II were to tell you ! didn't believe one
your affection?
George-I would say that you are far too wise