Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-04-25
HUMOROUS ITEMS.


s HUMOROUS ITEMS. s
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Granddaughter Gorilla is uproarious.
Leopard-He's full of animal spirits
Princeton Tiger.
What made her so ansry?" They
criticised her paper on Sincerity too can
didly. Detroit Free Press
Mrs. Bacon-My husband is so tired
when Sunday comes. Mrs. Egbert-Nhy
so! Hes just got through reading the
paper of the Sunday before. "-Yonkers
Statesman.
What is The poet laboring over?''
pabst.''
"Ah; studying lager-rhythms. I see.''-
Cornell Widow
Ella-I suppose my engagement TO
Fred was complete surprise to you
Stella-YOur engagement to anybody
would have been complete surprise 30
me.-BrOoklyn Life.
Cheer up, brother" said the minister.
1o1 II meet your three wives in heaven"
fray COR me- gasPed the dying man.
That's just what's a-b0therin' OF me-"
Atlanta Constitution.
wv here is that mathecatical phenome-
non that was here last year, Wonder
full the way he could jGggle with figures"
oh, he's left the stage and gone with
q gas company. Exchange.
First Microbe-What is Reggie Bacil-
lus doing in the sterilizer?
Second MISUNDERSTANDING Turkish
bath. There's nothing like il after
night with the boys.-Brooblyn Life.
TIE END HOGS"
The open cars are on the street.
The selfish person still. | see,
Continues in the outer seat
And will not give it up to me.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Aunt Hannah-I was quite shocked TO
see the children eating during service to-
day.
Children's Mother-So was l until {
found out that it was angel cake o.
ten Transcript.
You say you have shed real tears in
Not exactly answered Mr. Storm
ington Barnes: but | have been tempted
to when l saw the box office statements"
Washington Star.
She-Why. I thought you were in
Venice. What brings you back so soon?
Hc-When | arrived there | found the
doosid place flooded: people obliged to
get about in boats. and all that sort of
thing, dontcherknow-Bos Globe.
Mrs. HoneymOon-Do yOu love me?
Old Man (cOnfdentially. from other
seat to bridegroom)-She asked YOU
forty-Seven times already. l get out
here, but I'll leave the score with this
gentleman by the window.-The Wan
derer.
''You better hurry up en- collect de rent
frum Br'er Williams"
How Gomez
"Wei, fer de las six meetin' nights
he's been a-singin' Jerusalem my Happy
Home, en- it's my opinion he's fxin ter
move."-Atlanta Constitution.
THAT Miss Cutting is fierce propo- i
why so?'
Well l proposed to her by letter. and
after rejecting my proposal in plain
terms she wound up her reply with very
truly yours. indianapolis Sun
Graphter-I made a resolution about
drinking during Lent.
AScum--You really don't mean to say
you've sworn off!
Crap hter-No, but I've determined to
deny myself the pleasure of buying
drinks for other people.-Philadelp
Press.
Mrs. Bilkins (sweetly)-Do have an
ether piece of cake, Cousin John. Cou-
sin Iohn-Why really, I've already had
two: but it's so good l believe | will
have another. Little Johnnie (eXcitedly)
Mas winner. Mas winner. She said
she'd bet you'd make a pig Of yourself!
Town and Country.
kindergarten Teacher las she hands
him piece of eandyl-What do you say,
Arthur?
Arthur dunno.
Teacher (patiently)-Come. what does
papa say when you give him your pretty
mats
Arthur-He says, Take de damn fings
away !-Princeton Tiger.