davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1903-06-25

Four large business houses are burn
ed at Aurora, III.
Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1903-06-25

MAKE your arrangements to decor
on the Fourth OF July.
Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1903-06-25

The Best Prescription For Malaria
Chills and fever is a bottle Of GROVES
TAsTELEss CHILL Tonic. 1t is simply
iron and quinine in a tasteless form.
No cure, no pay. Price SOC.
Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1903-06-25

w. D. Woodward was here from st.
Louis this week.
Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1903-06-25

uLY FOURTH win be gala day for
kxicO.
Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1903-06-25

Mrs. W. G. Burks is visiting in
Clinton.
Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1903-06-25

Reed McGregor, Of Fulton, was mar
ried to Miss Addie McFaddin, OF Lex
ington, Mo-, Wednesday.
Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1903-06-25

Mexico PhYsician Honored.

Drs. n. r. Rodes and L. S. Cave are
home from Columbia, where they at.
tended the North Missouri Medical
Association meeting. DR.. E. S. Cave,
Of Mexico, was elected first vice-pres-
ident, and the next meeting will be
held at Kirksviile Mo.
Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1903-06-25
Stops the Cough and Works OF tn

Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets cure
cold in one day. No cure, no pay.
Price 25 cents.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

"Whut de President a y bout de
rich folks is true; true as de Gospels
O. Ararat, but de po' man gets whut
little he gets out o. de worl' FUN hav-
in a whole pack O. childun tub poster
wild, an he pats dem an ticks dem
when dey need it, an dey grow up TO
he knows it an ticks keer o. him when
he kets ole an not able tub do fob
his-sef. Dey do fob him when he's old
'cuz he did fob dem when dey wuz
young, IN even if dey is all as po' as
de childun O. Isrul, %wanderin' in de
desert, dey does de bes' dey kin.
de childun O. mos rich folks is
raise in idleness an pompered scan
'lus. Dey don nevuh get a chanst tub
have de night draws put on dem by
their mother, but dey is wropped up
in n O. desc fancy gowns by some
onery servant an toll tub shut up else
de buggoo man'll get dem. Is dat de
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01
The newest auto will travel fifty miles on one gallon of gasoline, cost
ing twenty-five cents. A horse requires two days to 90 fifty
miles and will eat thIty-two quarts Of oats, costing a dollar

So much for the privately owned
car and its future influence. This,
however, will be but a minor factor in
the coming development Of motor
traffic. The motor vehicle for bust
ness purposes will soon be universal.
Already the more e~nterprising trades
men are using, with greater efficiency
and economy, light motor vans for the
collection and delivery of their goods.
In New York heavy commercial trans
port is being rapidly absorbed by the
motor. A few years hence we shall
look back with a smile to the practice
of the railways and large firms using
horse-drawn vans. Commercial trav-
elers will take their samples through
the country in suitable motor cars.
Agriculture will be one of the chief
industries to benefit by the coming
revolution. Already a company has
been formed for manufacturing an ag-
riculture gasoline motor which has
proved its practicability. Most of the
important large farming tasks in the
United States are accomplished by
some kind of engine or motor. A mo-
tor lawnmower already makes it less
costly to keep up those stretches of
glorious sward which England alone
can show. Groups of farmers will
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01
Old Man Hogan on the Decline Of the Stage

Before you git home for supper tn
ads been dramatized into a society
comedy, with one av the women tn
medicine cured playin' tn star part.
Jenkins comes home boilin' drunk
one night an tried to beat up his wife,
who is wash lady be special appoint
mint to our most exclusive social cir
cles. Be way of reformin' him, Mrs.
jenkins puts her drunken husband
through tn wash wringer, out av
which he comes without a drop av
liquor in him an in no condition ever
to break the pledge again.
BE tn time tn story is out in tn
newspapers an Mrs. Jenkins is out on
bail, n av our leadin' theatrical
managers has hired her to do tn
same thing to a matinee idol av a
leadin' man at two matinees an swim
night performances a ~week-salary
$500.
Real clothes wringer on tn stage!'
says tn program. A new leadin'
mar at ivry performances! Come an
see the triumph av realism!'
1T used to be that we was kept
daycint be fear av tn church; thin
whin tn higher criticism proved that
tn tin commandments weren't trans
lated right an didn't apply to us, any
how, tn only thing that kipt us from
breakin' loose was tn fear av tn yell
low newspapers; now, since it's got
to be fashionable to have your name
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

combine to send their milk and other
necessities to the city by the auto
route. I am convinced that munich
palities would consult their own in
terests by carefully considering the in
PRODUCTION of motor omnibuses before
em%barking upon the heavy initial cost
of an electric railway system which
may quite likely be obsolete before
their depreciation found has been
charged a dozen times.
One great organization alone-the
greatest of all, the railways-will suff-
er from the coming of the motor. The
motor will rob them of passenger
traffic, Of the transport Of mails, ex-
cept for long distances, of the carry
ing of light goods and light agricul-
tural produce, and will prevent them
from opening up new districts, which
will be served by light lines and motor
vehicles as today in America by the
electric trolley.
There are several other aspects of
the development Of motoring-such,
for example, as the motor on water,
where also it will affect great changes;
and the stationary gasoline motor for
light manufacturing and domestic pur-
poses.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01
ARMY OF THE DIVORCED.

There are now 51,53S divorced peo-
pie in the United States, of whom
32,205 are women and Is, 1884 are men.
The reason for such an excess of wom-
en- is explained on the theory that d.
vorced men are more apt to remarry
h a divorced women. There are
very few cities In which the number
of divorced men is greater than, or
even equal to, the number of women.
Omaha is the most conspicuous, for
among its inhabitants are 249 men
and 236 women who have been separ
ated from their conjugal mates by the
courts.
Chicago is the champion divorce
city. 1t has had that reputation for
a long time, and, although the 4,341
divorced people who reside there may
not AVE been separted by the local
courts, they have nevertheless chosen
it as a place of residence, and they
number more than twice as many as
are found in New York. Certain 9TH
er cities have a similar distinction. al
though they are not as conspicuous
as Chicago.
The following table gives a list Of
the principal cities and a number of
Western cities and the number Of d.
vorced people among their inhabi-
tants:
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01
Uncle Lisha on Race Suicide

"Whut de President says bout de
lack O. childun in de lam Is sho' true"
said Uncle 'Lisha. But looks tub me
dat he meks de statement too sweep!
in. He tells de truf bout the rich
people, but l amt gwine so fur as tub
say de same bout de po' folks. Dey
use tub say, down bout Selmuh, dat
de fool had de luck an de po' man had
de childun, an, fun whut rs seem o.
de worl,' looks to me dat dey's a heap
O. meat in the ole sayin'.
when de rich people does have
childun, bout half de time dey dom
get no comfort fun dem, an dey amt
got nobody tub blame fob it but dey-
sells. When de childun is little an
needs de mos lookin' aftuh, ten chans-
ties tub one dey is lef' with some DO
white trash of a nurse dat only tends
tub dem III she needs de money.
'Tain't like it use tub be durin' times
bout de war, when de ole black NAM
my had de raisin' O. de childun. She
wuz'n' de kin dat'd teach dem any
meanness, fob de reason dat she was
fetched up wild de bes' people herself,
an nachully tuck good mannuhs fun
dem. When she come tub learnin'
mannuhs tub de childun, she give dem
de kind she had, an she give dem mo-
besides-de love dat de chile needs.
She could'n' no mo- hep lovin' de
childun o. de ole marse an de ole
missis dan de mock'n bird kin hep
flynn up tub de top limb o. de gum
tree an singin' out loud in de moon
light.
de trouble wild de rich folks now
is dat dey amt got no time tub have
childun an tub TEX keer O. dem lax a
chile ought tun be tuck'n keer of. Dey
is busy all de time ~gallivantin' round
tryin' tub Guido de neighbors in fool
ishness, an tub mex mo- show wild
whut dey has dan de people dey trav-
els wild. De mo- money dey has de
harder dey hunt round fob some new
way O. doin' dat is foolisher dan any
body else does, an when dey finds it
dey seem tub be happy as 'possums in
a 'simmon tree. Nachully a woman
dat laks tub go tub desc lowneck par
ties an sit in a box watchin' some
frizzly, red-headed actress playin' a
nasty play, an tryin' tub mex out dat
de piece has a morul wropped up in
1t; she amt got no use fob childun.
She'd have tub stop goin' out nights
and eatin' lobstuh an drinkin' all desc
yelluh an green drinks, an stay home
fob awhile, anyway. If she had tub
stay home de rest o. de folks would
get a chanst tub learn a whole lot o.
foolishness dat she wuz cut off fun,
an dey amt none o. dem dat is goin'
tub stan dat.
When dey does have childrun de
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

There is a vast difference between
the positions Of some of these cities
in the divorce column and in the or
der of population. Washington and
Philadelphia only occupy the same
places in the order of population and
divorce statistics. Philadelphia is No.
8 and Washington is No. Is in both.
Next to Chicago Indianapolis seems to
be the most popular rendezvous for
divorced people, occupying the sixth
place in the divorce list and standing
81 in the order of population. Kansas
City comes next being eighth in the
divorce list and % in the population
list. San Francisco is fourth in the
divorce list and ninth in the popula-
ton list. Louisville tenth in the d.
vorce list and IS in the population
list; Denver is IS in the divorce list
mi rs in the population list. st.
Joseph, Mo-, stands 20 in the divorce
list and "a in the population list;
Peoria "a in the divorce list and 67
in the population list and Columbus,
O., 81 in the divorce list and % In the
population. Detroit and Baltimore
have honorable records. The former
is No. six in the population list and
IL in the divorce list, while the latter
is 10 in the population list and 10 in
the divorce list.-Chicago Record
Herald.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01
<fT Hogan, blowing out his dark
whin l was a lad" said Old Man
H theayter amt what It was

S~f Ooe rs -
whin 1 was a lad" said Old Mar
H theayter amt what it was
lantern and loading his corn cob.
For tn last thirty years l been
readin' in tn newspapers about high
art an how it was goin' to illivate tn
stage.
But the only thing that's been
much illivated, so fairs I've noticed,
is tn price of seats at tn box office.
An most av tn shows nowadays, at
81 tn ticket, are a lot higher art than
I'm willin' to pay for. Neither me
conscience or me creditors IL stand
for it.
"Shure, in me day we'd have moth
in but clane. innocint, harmless fun
O'Brien and Bamberger, tn variety
team, betther known as TIL Maste-
donic Monarks av Mirth an Melody
come out on tn stage walkin'
on their hands.
"O'Brien was an Irishman with
bright green whiskers. Bamberger
was a Dutchman, with both pillows
an all tn bed clothes stuffed inside
his vest.
"Afther maxim his bow, O'Brien'd
hit his pardner in tn head with an
ak, whin tn Dutchman wasn't lookin.'
leavin' tn AK stickin' in tn top av
his skull.
Zach, himmel!' says Bamberger,
dot vas elm miskeeter me on top of
der cocoa bites, NIGHT wahr?'
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01
lumber Nine on Wall Street.

Seven has long been considered a
talismanic number, but, so far as
Wall street is concerned, 1t would
seem as if the number 9 is of more
importance.
1t vas on May 8, 1901, that Wall
street saw a great corner and panic,
Northern Pacific stock on that day
rushing up to $1,000 a share, and
prices of other stocks smashing down
80 or 40 points, bringing wreck and
ruin to thousands.
That was a great bear day. Sept.
9, 1902, was a great bull day, for on
that date, which marked the apogee
Of the so-called Gates boom in stocks,
the highest level of prices for rail
road securities that Wall street has
ever seen was touched. So far this
year the heaviest day Of trading in
stocks was on Jan. 8, which was also
a big bull day, marking the culmina'
ton of the upturn in the market fol
lowing the smash in prices brought
about by stingent money conditions
late last year. And on April 9 the
decision adverse to the merger Of the
railroads in the Northern Securities
company was announced.-New York
Sun.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

in a glass case, an dey ain got no mo-
blood in dem, cordin' tub de way dey
look, dan a measly ole fros'bit punkin.
Yuh dom nevuh see dem childun set
tin down in de road maxim mud pies.
De fus' thing dey learns is tub keep
away from dirt, an de minut dey
learns dat dey is sho' spilled.
tits des as nachul fob a chile tub
go out an walluh in de dus' as it is
fob a ole hen tub go out an get a
crop full O. gravel, an de chile needs
de dirt bad as de hen needs de gravel.
TEX n O. desc little dirty face child
un dat b'longs tub po' folks n scrub
him up. When yuh is thrugh yuh has
a clean little face with cheeks dat
look lax great big, roun' red apples,
an de redness comes fun walluhin in
de dirt. De chile dat dom know how
much fun dey is in settin' down an
pattin' mud pies has missed mo dan
he can evuh git fun prancin' roun' all
dress up, with a whole lot O. other
childun.
"De POI chile learns tub mex de mos
o. whut he has an de chanst is dat he
has some brodders an sisters tub play
wild when he feels lax playin' an tub
fight wild when he feels lax fightin' an
he gets mo- fun whut little he has
dan de rich chile will aver know de
worl' has in it.
ut amt nachul fob a woman not
tub want childun. De fus ting a little
girl does when she gets so she kin
paddle 'roun' bow-legged by her sef is
tub wrop up a rag, If she can't get no
other doll an tub start lovin' it an
huggin' it up an talkin' tub it LAX it
was a sho' huff live baby. She amt
SATISFY with n doll either, she's got
so much mother in her little heart dat
she has tub have mo dan m an you
amt gwine tub say that she gets ovuh
1t when she grows up. She wants
childun des as bad as evuh but she's
too weak tub set up 'genst de way de
res o. de people do an stead O. havin'
a baby tub hol' in her arms an hug up
genst her breas' an love, she picks up
some o. desc onery poodles or spitzes
dat nachully swarm with fieas an tries
tub fool her sef intuh thinkin' dat
dey ticks de baby's place. Maybe dey
does, but dis nigguh is gwine tub say
dat his ole black wife wouldn' do dat.
De lam knows, she had enough child
I'm an when dey wuz babies she tend
ed dem an cuddled dem up unduh
her neck an padded dem when ey
wuz bad an kissed dem when dey wuZ
good an got mo- happiness fun it dan
des fiippity-jib-bet society women,
with all de money dey has, gets FUN
goin tub de parties an nursin' de
nasty lap dogs dey carts aroun' becuz
de style tell den tub do 1t.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

mos O. de tim dey is ailin'; nachully
dey ought tub be ailin', fob de woman
dat spen's her time cuttin' round tell
de rostuhs in de country has crowed
de time O. midnight amt goin' tub
have strong childun. Lemme tell yuh
dat all desc striped drinks amt de
bes' things in de worl' foh a woman's
nerves. If de mother is fidgetty an
full o. de prickles all de time,
how is de chile goin' tub be? Dey
amt no need tub ansuh dat queschun;
all yuh is got tub do is tub go out tub
where yuh see people rushin round in
desc redd-evil machines an see fob
yo'se'f. Yuh see little paleface', waxy-
lookin' boys an girls, all dress up tell
dey look lax dey ought tub be KEEP
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

way tub raise a Grille? Asst yohself, is
it? And yuh don need tub have any
childun tub spell out whut de ansuh
is. Des think back tub de time when
you wuz a chile an dey amt no mo-
tub be said. De woman dat amt ne
vuh had a baby don't know how much
happiness de worl' hobs, an if it's her
fault dat she amt had one she's gwine
tub go up tub de judgment seat an
fin dat de sin1l set heavy an look
monstus black"
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

"But now It's called polite vaude-
vile an they're usin' tack hammers
an other INDECENT an suggestive
weapons-instid av axes-to make
their hits with.
"Whin l was a lad tn only problim
OF tn play was where to git tn
quarther to pay for your seat in tn
front row.
Nowadays tn problim is how can
tn lady with tn false teeth an tn
drug sthore hair conceal her past un-
til she's married tn son of her d.
vorced husband, whose first wife she
murthered by putin typhoid fever
germs in his breakfast food.
Thirty years ago problims av this
kind were settled in tn police court.
Now they-an' tn morals av tn
auJence-are unsittled on tn stage.
plays used to be written be dra-
matte authors. Now they are built
be stage carpenters-an' tbs astonish-
in how much they can do with a little
material
Give one av those lads a couple
av soap boxes, a custard pie an a
paper av tacks an he'll make you a
farce comedy over night; lave him a
toy pistil an a couple of sheets av tin
to pound on an he'll turn it into a
most thrillin' an affectin' tragedy.
Books used to be read. Now they
are dramatized an readin' is a lost
art.
'The only thing that hasn't been
dramatized so far is tn catalogue av
tn soap f~actory-an' that likely to ap-
pear in tn spring announcements.
You ride downtown in tn mornin'
an see tn advertisement av a new
patent medicine in tn sthreet car.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

CREEDS.-Many of our creeds to-
day are like a lot Of jack O. lantern
lights fitting here and there, with a
pack of idiots chasing after them and
getting mired in the bog. But king
doms, d~ynasties, p~rincipalities and
powers have their day and go their
way; this globe with its temples and
palaces will fade away, but the church
Is going to last.-Rev. p. 8. Henson,
Baptist, Brooklyn, N. Y.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

PROGRESS.-Be progressive in all
secular affairs. Be progressive in the
secular phases of religious affairs.
But remember that Gods complete
and final revelation is not to be reck-
oned with the automobile and wire
less t%elegraphy and the skyscraper
with all the modern c~onveniences.
Rev. Daniel Russell, Presbyterian,
New York City.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

"The people of your country. !
infer" said the passenger with the
foreign accent, "are confronted with
a race problem"
I'VE don't call It a problem" the
man with the loud waistcoat respond
ed. "Racin' nowadays is q game
Chicago Tribune.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01
Issue.

ITS a mistake to say the course
of true love never diu run smooth"
reflected MI. Meekun. I'm thousands
of cases it does run smooth-until it
reaches the ocean of matrimony,
which, I'll admit, is sometimes rough
enough."-Chicago Tribune.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

THE WORK OF SATAN.-Let Sat
an get possession Of a human life
and rule that life through pride, lust,
envy, malice, revenge, and you have
a person who Is as unit for human
society as were those men Of Gadara.
Rev. f. H. Hays, Presbyterian,
Grand Forks, N. d.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

Uncle 'Lisha's Proverbs.
De man wild de swell head pays
a high price foh de hat.
De niggah dat plays policy wuhks
fob de man dat runs de game.
It's a heap bettah tub lem a ham
at de time dan to holler, ~ tole
yuh So" after it's all over.
De man dat can do an don't is
wuss dan de po' soul dat can't, but
tries.
Dey is two tings no man evan
unduhstans-de heart of a woman
an de min of a little chile.
De ark must a been a big ship
tub hold de flee an de tom cat in
peace an puiet.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01
XTRAVAGANCE

EXTRAVAGANCE. The majority
of young men with whom I have been
acquainted in the last twenty years
were living so extravagantly that they
dared not contemplate marriage
Rev. L. A. Banks, Methodist, New
York city.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

WORKS OF VALUE.-The mechan-
ic who works with respect to wages
only, for meat and drink, has only an
existence; he begins to live when he
gets a purpose to do the best work
possible to him, determination to pro-
duce something of permanent value
to the world.-Rev. T. w. Campbell,
Long Island City, New York.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

Mrs. Julia Ward Howe has just be-
come a great-grandmother, through
the birth of a child to Mrs. Henry
Marion Hall of East Orange, N. j. Mr..
Hall is a son of Mrs. Forense Howe
Hall of Plainfield. This Is Mrs.
Howe's first great-grandchild.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

thin do it all over again. Twas al
ways some bit av innocint an 'amusin'
wit an humor like that that brought
down tn house.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

This is Inventor Charles SANKEY'S all aluminium aishp, now, being
built ats San Francisco fol n coming airship competition at the St Louis
Pleted; The inventor declares his air ship vii. be able to travel from San
Francisco to ST. Louis over the Rocky mountains, and that a speed of seven
tyfye miles an hour will be possible. Adjustable wings will keep the vessel
level while its course slants, enabling it to soar over high obstacles with
ease The ship will have a carrying capacity of twenty-five n thirty pas
sengers, With baggage and provisions. 1t will cost 100000.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

It is possible that Maxim Gorke
would reply in the Affirmative should
anyone ask him, Does literary work
pay?" He was poor as a church
mouse before he began writing, but
one of his recent transactions was the
purchase for $150,000 of a fine old es-
tate on the banks Of the River Volga.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

an photograph in tn papers, we'd all
be a lot worse than we are if we
wern't afraid av bein' dramatized.
so you see, in that way, anyhow,
tn stage is a great moral agint."
H. M. H.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

THE BODY.-We are not bothering
about what kind of a body we are to
have after the resurrection, but about
the kind of a body we have now
Rev. 1. M. Haldeman, Baptist, New
York city.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01
Gems Of Truth Cleaned From Many Sermons

ARISTOCRACY.-I have but little
sympathy with a~ristocracy Of wealth,
but | believe in the nobility Of the
>man with a clean heart.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

TIVE KAISER.-The Kaiser holds
onto lis Bible, and well he may, for 1t
has mAde German art and literature
and German virtue and home life
Rev. G. CNyorimer, Baptist, New York
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-01

eco an, We thick-headed Dootch-
man. answers O'Brien, don't be
afther akin me such foolish ques-
tions.'
Thin ivrybody in tn house stood
up an stamped n whistled an made