New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-12-14
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

A farmer in Cumberland County. Ne. was driving
across a railroad track when train killed both
his horses and knocked him about ten rods of his
course In the resulting suit for damages the
plaintiff was on the witness stand. making out a
good case when the defendants lawyer asked him;
Did you take any precaution before driving upon
the track?'
The witness seemed reluctant to answer. but be-
ing pressed to do so. finally stammered out:
Wall squire, 1 took a IittIe-1ust a couple OF
swallows; that's ALL
This started a line of defence, and IL turned
out that the couple of swallows were the last in
a pint flask that had consoled the honest old
farmer along the road. This put a face
the situation
In one Of Glasgow's finely laid out cemeteries
rich citizen who was notorious scepttc. had
erected a massive mausOleum on what he termed
'his ancestral plot" One day he met worthy
elder Of the kirk coming away from the vicinity
of the imposing mass Of masonry, so he said to
gran erection o mine?' Deed hiv I. SIR Gey
strong place that. isn't It? tn tax a man a ms
"Hoot ma mon' said David. ''ye can gle yerself
TAX the bottom cot Of OF tao let ye IA doom
Spare Moments.
A religious ceremony has Just been performed IN
a remarkable church IN the heart OF Milton Abbey
Woods, Dorset. England The little church was
erected there IN the year S3S by King Athelstan
and dedicated to st. Catherine. and until the Ref
Ormation regularly used by the monks OF
Milton. Thereafter 1t fell into dlsuse. and IN proc
Of time into dissertation In turn it utilized
as pigeon house. as laborers cottage. as
penter's shop and a lumber store and was rap
idly falling into decay when Everard Hambro, the
lord OF the manor. resolved to restore it. The
restoration was completed about a week ago. but
has been so reverently done that most OF the old
Saxon. Norman and Perpendicular work II con-
tanned remains intact. and incised Indulgence
inscription its south door has been perfectly
preserved.
Edyth-Yes. you see she told the count that her
fathers partner had robbed him OF nearly all his
wealth just to test his love for her.
Mayme-And then?
Edyth-He asked her for letter OF introduction
e &s% Shs daughter OF her fathers par'n'rch'aso
The resemblance between an alarm clock and
conscience is obvious that it has often been
remarked. would hardly like to look him
self in the face il he were without either. while
the monitions OF both meet with the same amlable
or impatient disregard. One usually maintains
each of them IN considerable privacy. but an old
woman IN Kansas City put the clock the other
day to new and public use. She went to a rail-
road station with alarm clock suspended from
her neck with rope She asked about it
by a polite stranger and said that her had
set it to so of at $3.50. which would be a signal
for her to so out on the platform and get her
train. which left at Gas. She did not want to
take any chances Of losing It.
II thought she was going to marry an English
mo. Her father found a Russian prince tba, ba
could get for half the price."-(Chicago Record
Herald.
One OF the Iowa Indians according to an Okla
homa paper. Is making a good living by selling So
called love powders. Little. peculiar shells found
In the creeks, and the root or a certain kind OF
morning glories. furnish the sole ingredients OF the
love compelling powder. The shells and roots are
dried and ground to powder: then. after making
sort OF paste OF the mixture the lovesck swain or
squaw smears 1t over his her face: then the
powder painted person goes close to the one whose
affection is to be captured. 1t is claimed that the
besmeared person Is always victorious.