The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-05-17
Fun OF The woRLD.


the Thrift self-contro. the spider in all
that make valued member Of society dare
say if all the facts known. is more of
absolute success than the mule
While going the rounds OF Chevy Chase links at
Washington. Lieutenant General Nelson A Miles had
a critical young for caddie The general topped
his drive Of the fourth The BAH joggied along
yards and then rolled into a depression 1t was
cupped.' and there nothing Tor 1t but 70 try with
the lofter General Miles his hands. measured
distance carefully. tried his the ball.
swung nightly He hit the District Of Columbia
resounding thwack- The ball did He tried
again again with the results The fourth
prodigious effort moved the bail few feet See here
chap" said the eaddie, who much bored by the
exhibition you have TO play better than that or quit
x x
The British Medical Journal tells story about Saba
author the Eighteenth Century Urea
tise Operative Surgery" Saoater fond Of
bling about Paris and took special delight in listening
TO the quacks who not having In those days the puoe
y afforded them by the newspapers. proclaimed 10
they could listen the nfabe virtues of
their nostrums. big being used a due dame"
which, may be remembered is defined by the melan-
choly Jaques Invocation 20 call fools in Gree
day Sabatier listening to quac. dressed from
top red who standing in a splendid car
rage, charmed the ears or the bystancers Win MS as
Suddenly who had just declared that
he gnoFant charlatan Ike others. but man
by best scientific authorities caught
sight the soIemn-loong person who. with his hands
top of cane, seemed hanging his words.
and stopped a Then suddenly he exclaimed:
Look venerable who is listening TO me; it
is easy that he is OF study and knowledge
/ will speak the language the learned that
say. Latin. you that he WIFI with
say" Then addressing sabater. he said: Sir
this is the statement which I wish TO submit 70 YOU
'vulgus vult decipL" sabater taken abaek by the fell
lows impuderce stammered quite true" That
being So said the quack draw the inference yourself
Ergo decipiatur
&c &c
Chevalier, the coster comedian recently work
ing London, at the Metropolitan and
Hammersrnith. There time to be
the and in order not to De late CheN
alier was habit leaving the Metropolitan in his
war-psint cutaway coat bell-bottomed pearl
les raLsh and red handkerchief included One night
the depot put down MS money. and ASKED
for a "frst-cass 10 Hammersnh." Standing close by
Il real genuine coster whose attire was almost as
picturesque that Of the actor With amazed eyes
he followed the movements OF ChevaleT, admired the
"getup and was on the point striking acquaint
ance with seeming pal he heard Cheyaier ask
for his ticket .what?' cried the real cOster that
cove want frst-cass Ammersm1? Ere matey. give
me a Pullman to Vfchape-'
At a large dinner in Washington. d. c.. when Major
General S. 3. N. Young called upon for speech
the guests expected would simply content him
self stereoyped expression appreciation of the
compliment and after a somewhat incoherent excuse
But the general rose to the occasion
Gentlemen, he began, sweeping his eyes over the les
and breadth banquet board. i hope viii par
don my expression surprise have been caught IN
cuI de sac had expected speak this magnih
anything. I should have spoken somewhat as follows
and jncture of the old veteran plunged
into labyrinths his and produced carefully
prepared speech which he proceeded read The apology
for his uuprepareness evidence OF tho painsta
ing way his remarks in advance were
banqueters. and he forced to sus-
pend his remarks until the uproar was over
Miss Louise Ward McAiister Of New York Is inter
ested education OF girls clergyman conversinS
with her day said:
GIRL educ fafif
that a fact which can't be denied. fear said
But there consoation-the aver
age American boy viii find it out
<
It is hobby Of clyde Fitch the playwright to collect
in Paris specimens French nsshthat strange lam
uaee in which Frenchmen sometimes write their
and their signs that English and American
tourists understand them. Mr.. Fitch has scrap
book wherein the section devoted to contains these
viands:
.Izpigram Of veal" "a small dab rarity at InIian"
"a red Of river opinion at nuancere"
A advertisement the book reads:
"A Belgian Manufacturer having practice OF large
quincalIery DESTROYS the deposit OF
fitted articles 10 that place"
Once when a Mississippi pilot" said Mark
Twain Il got Of work and had to hustle for
job talked number or captains. bur Of them
wanted pilot Finally net man who said there was
a vacancy his boat might III II ! could qualify
He asked about my habits. religion. my BIRTH
my schooling. and Then be said:
Now. the main thing. Do you know where the
snaes the are2
No. captain 1 said. don't
He swore. Wants be n pilot. he muttered. and
don't where the snaEs are
7 know where they're not said L But my smart
ness cost the Job"
Senator Turner OF the Alaskan boundary commission
said the other day
when ! 20 70 church. silent a mouse from
the moment enter til I leave But rot always
little Missouri of Edna. whore
brought up. q pretty dorderly church ssper ore
SUNDAY. when about had a strange minister
preach with other lads and made
deal q noise. The stranger put Up With for
a long time Then Re looked
4 haze he said TO reprore any disor1eriy perron
from the pulpit fact make Il a rule she.
Let tell you Vfy Once young behaved very
badly while 7 Ureaching. SPOKE 20 him and his
conduct became Again I spoke him again
his conduct became Fauv Eve iirnes pa1rod
reauFe this young ara carh t-1c - carried
II heatherish uanur thaa before ~ ne eu5
q the service thy tod n he mistake had made.
The yourg q luaacc
The great vs9li-isi Euaefk tas sreat rsafirers =
hsd played afternoaa wa-nar-z fs-
cepsn wal8qrf- ard sf-ervsrG r. rioos
IN oorner silent young rs11 spproscaing hirn sass,