davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
Swift ~.IuS+iea

Cleveland Plain Dealer: There was a
crowd about st. Peter and some confu-
sion. All was going well, however, when
a rasping voice from the rear of the
group suddenly cried out:
step forward. please"
The good saint frowned.
Here, william" he sharply called to his
nimble attendant, step back and drop
that street car conductor down the near
est chute"
Then the procession moved on.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

BAXTER SPRINGS, Kansas received
the free sample Of Doan's Kidney Pills.
For five years I have had much pain in my
back, which physicians said arose from the
kidneys. Four boxes of Doan's Pills have
entirely cured the trouble. think I owe
my life to these pills, and I want others to
know 1t. SADIE DAVIS, Baxter Springs,
Kansas
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
External and Internal Treatment

Battle the affected parts with hot water and Cutoura Soap, to cleanse
the surface of crusts and scales, and soften the thickened cutce. Dry
without hard rubbing, and apply Cutcura Ointment freely, to anay itching
irritation, and Inflammation, and soothe and heal, and, lastly, take Cuti-
cura Resdvent to cool and cleanse the blood. This complete treatment
affords instant relief permits rest and sleep in the severest forms of
eczema and other itching, burning, and scaly hunous of the skin, scalp
and blood, and points to a speedy, permanent and economical cure when
all other remedies and the best physicians fail AS evidence of the
wonderful curative properties of Cuticura Remedies and of their world
wide sale, we quote from
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
Knew the Kind He Wanted.

Chicago Post: do you want my ad-
vice?' asked the friend.
The honest man h~esitated. lie was
tempted to reply in the affirmative and
trust to luck, but he could not conceal
the truth from himself.
THAT depends" he said, frankly, ION
what your advice Is"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
Pietermaritzburg, Natal, Oct. 40, 1901.
Good for Insomnia.

Harvard Lampoon: Giggs-Don't you
think you can hear exceptionally we'll in
the new lecture hall?
Biggs--It ought to have some redeeming
feature; you can't sleep In a single seat
without being seen by the lecturer!
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

MT. PLEASANT, OHIo.-I received the
sample of Doan's Kidney Pills, and never
had any medicine do me SO much good in
SO little time. / had Congestion of the
Kidneys and Bladder 30 severe it caused a
pressure on the lungs like Asthma, but
through the use of Doan's Pills I am free
and easy now. GEO. W. SMITH, Veter-
mary Surgeon, P. o. Box Al, Mt. Pleasant,
Ohio.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

There are a multitude of women, er.
pecially housewives, and all other
women obliged to be on their feet con.
stantly, who are wretched beyond de-
scrIptiop, simply because their strength
and vitality is sapped away by catarrhal
sieeharfes from the pelvic organs.
These women get up In the morning
tired, drag themselves through their
daily duties tired, only to 60 to bed at
night az tired as before.
Mrs. Eva Bsrtho, 1873 East 18th Street, New
Yeft City, ~rites,-'I suffered or three years
With what 10 generally known as leucor-
fhea, In connection with liberation Of the
womb. The doctors advocated an operation
which I dreaded very much, and strongly
4b}sctsd TO 60 under It. Reading of the
xtluA Of Peruna, l thought II best to give
this well-known remedy a trial, so l bought
three bottles of II at oace. Now I am a
changed woman Peruna cured me; 1t took
nine bottles, but I felt so much improved |
kept taking II, as | dreaded an operation
90 much. l am to-day In perfect health,
and have not felt so well for fifteen years"
MRS. Eva Bartho.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

To to his musical friends
the birth of a son, a Welsh musician
has sent a card simply bearing four
bars Of music. They were recognized
as from THE Messiah" Unto us a
child is born, unto US a soul Is given"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
Fiuure IL Out Yourself.

Chicago Tribune: well, John and
Harry, you didn't either of you come to
Sunday school last Sunday"
mo, ma'am, but we've brought two 9TH
or boys along today to square ourselves.
Seer"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

For sweeping the streets of Bendigo,
Australia, where much expense is
caused by people who scrape the roads
for the sake of the gold dust obtainable,
a man has been fined 20 shillings.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

Psoriasis, Scaled Head, Milk Crust,
letter, RingWOrm, etc.
Speedily, Permanently and Economically Cured,
when All Else Fails, by
(QtiCura

The agonizing, itching, and burning of the skin, as in
eczema; the frightful scaling, as in psoriasis; the loss of
hair, and crusting of the scalp, as in SCALED head; the
facial dis~fgurements, as in pimples and ringwom; the
awful suffering of infants, and anxiety Of worn-out parents,
as in milk crust, letter and salt rheum, all demand a
remedy Of almost superhuman virtues to successfully cope
with them. That Cuticura Soap, Ointment, and Resolvent
are such stands proven beyond all doubt. No statement is
made regarding them that is not justified by the strongest
evidence. The purity and sweetness, the power to afford
immediate Dnrn HAT .b Relief the ssfs eeFta amt s of speedy sedyo nnd b permanent nsdt
them the standard skin cures, blood purifiers and humour
remedies of the civilized world.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
PRIVILEGES of Povertv.

Washington Star: Remember said
the serious citizen. that wealth has its
responsibilities"
Yes" answered Mr.. Cumrox. so long
as you are humble and obscure you can
say i seen 1t and L done it. and eat with
your knife all you want to-"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

Puck The Crook-So you've written a
poem and are goin' ter submit 1t ter de
prison paper?
The Second Story Man-Yep; I'm hopin'
de editor'll t'row me out.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

You Can Get Aliens Foot-Ease FREE.
Write to-day to Allen 8. olmsted, lie Roy,
N. Y, for a FREE sample Of Aliens Foot
Ease, a powder to shake into your shoes.
1t cures tired, sweating, damp, swollen.
aching feet. 1t makes new or tight shoes
easy. A certain cure for Corns n Bunlons.
All druggists and shoe stores sell 1t. 25c
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

Aching backs are eased. Hip, back, and
loin pains overcome. Swelling of the
limbs and dropsy signs vanish.
They correct urine with brick dust sedi-
ment, high colored, excessive, pain In pass
ing, dribbling, frequency, bed wetting.
Doan's Kidney Pills dissolve and remove
calculi and gravel. Relieve heart palpita-
ton, sleeplessness, headache, nervousness.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
DOAN'S DEAL GENTLY.

Its the gentle and effective action of Doan's Kidney Pills i'm Kidney,
Bladder, and Urinary troubles that make them famous with
Men, Women, and Children.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
Consistent.

Life: Briggs-"I hear you are living
like a prince"
Griggs-"That's right, old man. I'm
broke most OF the time"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
Doubtful Compliment.

Philadelphia Press: Miss Passay-
That wealthy Mr.. Hunter was pleased
to say that l interested him.
Miss Sharpe-The idea! How rude
of him!
Mass Passay-Rude?
Miss Sharpe-Yes; he's a collector Of
antiques.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

medicine / have ever taken. l used it
faithfully for two weeks and It com
pletely cured me. I have not had any
pains since, anywhere, but feel like a
new woman. am truly thankful for
what Peruna has done for me."-Bar-
bara Alberty.
Mrs. Kate Mann, 500 Bathurst Street, To-
ronto. Ont, Cam, Vice-President of the Ladies'
AID Society. writesi-"I am pleased to give
found through Its use. 1 suffered for years
with backache and dragging down pains
aud often had TO 20 to bed and stay there
when was so busy that l could lily he
spared. 1t was therefore a simple godsend
to me when Peruna was brought to my no
tee. Every drop seemed to give me new
life, and every dose made ne feel much
better, and | promised myself that II /
found that 1t cured me | would advocate Ii
SO that other suffering women should know
or 1t. | have been In perfect health for
one year, l enjoy work and pleasure be-
cause In such fine health, and no trouble
seems too heavy to bear when you are In
good health, Perufa has simply been n
household blessing, and | never will be
without 1t again.'-Mrs. Kate Mann.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

The Mexican of average size wears a
No. 6 boot
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

Chicago Tribune: mo. Gerald" said
the fair soubrettc, chldingly. You may
hold my hand but you mustn't kiss me. /
haven't got my divorce yet"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
He Needs the Money,

Atlanta Constitutions: Our leading novel;
list was run over by a railroad train Thurs
day morning. He hopes to get enough
out Of the road In damages to enable him
to publish his new book.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
Where She Drew the Line.

PUTNAM FADELESS DYES are
fast to light and washing.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
Mrs. VIM. Hetrick, Kennard, Wash

Mrs. VIM. Hetrick, Kennard, Wash
ington County, Neb., writes:
Il am ffty-six years old and have not
felt we'll since the Change of Life be-
gan ten years ago. l was in misery
somewhere most of the time. My back
was very weak, and my flesh so tender
it hurt me to lean against the back of a
chair. | had pain under my shoulder
blades, in the small of my back and
hips. l sometimes wished myself out
of this world. Had hot and cold spells,
dizziness and trembling of the limbs,
and was losing flesh all the time. After
following your directions and taking
Peruna | now feel like a different per-
on."-Mrs. VIM. Hetrick.
If you do not derive prompt and salts
factory results from the use of Peruna,
write at once to DR.. Hartman, giving a
full statement of your case, and he will
be pleased to give you his valuable ad-
vice gratis.
Peruna can be purchased for 81 per
bottle at all frst-class drug stores.
Address DR.. Hartman, President of
The Herman Sanitarium, Columbus, O.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
His Brilliant Ideas

Mrs. Winslow's SOOTHING SYRUP for Children
~teething; softens the gums, reduces Inflammation, al
lays pain. cures wind collie. % cent? . bottle.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

Aged people find Doan's Kidney Pills q
great comfort for declining years.
They curs incontinence and urinary
weakness peculiar to children.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
MRS. KATE MANN.

Mrs. Anna Martin, ~ Hoyt ST., Brooklyn,
N. Y, writes:-"Perun did So much for me 81 at
/ feel 1t my duty to recommend it to others
who may be similarly afflicted. About n
year ago my health was completely broker
down, had backache, dizziness and irTegu-
~larities. and life seemed dark indeed. We
had used Peruna In oar home as q tonic,
and for colds and catarrh, and ! decided to
try 1t for my trouble. In less than three
months | became regular, my pains had en-.
tirely disappeared, and | am now perfectly
well."-Mrs. Anna Martin.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
SIOUX CITY P'T'e CO., s74, 10, 1908

When writing to advertisers it will be
to your interest 20 say you saw their
lad" in this paper.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28

Peruna Is such a perfect specific for
zach case that when patients have once
used II they can never be induced to quit
II until they are permanently cured. 1t
begins to relieve the disagreeable
symptoms at once. The backache
ceases, the trembling knees are strength
ened, the appetite restored, the digestion
made perfect, the dull headache is stop
PED and the weakening drains are grad
ptly cured. These results certainly
follow a course Of treatment with
Psruna.
Barbara Alberty, corner Seventh and
Walnut streets, Appleton, Wis, writes
a. follows II regard to Peruna:
For years I have suffered with back
ache and svers pains in the side. l
doctored so much that l became dis
Outraged. A school friend told me how
very much Peruna had benefited her
ana ! sent out for a bottle, which did
more to relieve me than oil the other
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
MISS III MAHON.

Miss Louise Mahon, ) Glen BaiIle Street,
Toronto, Ont., Can, Secretary Of the Kings
Daughters and Secretary Of Lady Maccabees,
writes;-"If all women knew OF the benefits 10
be derived from taking Peruna we would
have many happier and more healthful
bust, and l am easily fatlgued and cannot
stand much. About a year ago | was so
run down that ! had to take to my bed,
and became weaker and weaker. A friend
advised me TO try Peruna, and I have great
reason to be grateful, for In two weeks I
was out Of bed and In a month | was per-
fectly we'll, and l now find that my health
10 much more robust than formerly, so that
take Peruna once or twice a month and
keep well Louise Mahon.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1903-08-16
SLEPT ON THEIR ARMS
Company B. N. G. A. Spent Last Night
on the Battlefield.

Company B. n. G. A, will this morn
ing finish up its training for the annual
encampment that has been billed TO be
held most every place between Wyo-
ming and the Pacific ocean, but which
it is now expected will be held at Fort
Whipple about the Goth of next month.
The company last night marched out
to the battlefield on which the residents
of the Osborn district, not knowing
what the ground was ultimately de-
signed to be used for, some years ago
built schoolhouse. Camp was made
and pickets thrown out, while the
brave boys spent the night on their
government blankets, not knowing
what moment they would be attacked
by Jersey mosquitoes or some other
foreign foe. This morning they will eat
coffee and bareback, a la bivouac, and
then march back to town again.
For the last two months the members
of the company have been doing extra
work in the way of drills and marches
and have made notable Improvement
They have tried their best to show the
government that they were doing their
part in the perfection of the national
guard, and it is hoped they will be
given the opportunity to camp with the
regulars. as they SO much desire. This
mornings march is the last of the eX-
ira preliminary work for the season.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1903-08-16
THREE POPULAR SONG WRITER'S

The names of the composers of I'm
Song" and The Maiden with the
Dreamy Eyes (not to mention any
more of the song hits of this gifted
trio), are generally printed in the press
as Cole and johnson. The correct
name, however, is Cole and johnson
Brothers, and they are Bob Cole. Rosa
mond Johnson and James w. Johnson.
Naturally. it would be thought that
they are more proud of their success as
song writer's than of anything else, but
that is not so. AS matter of fact the
only thing that seems to stir any
evidence of egotism is to mention
their prowess as boxers. 1 hey live in
handsome apartments, and every room,
except their reception room. is filled
with rowing machines, punching bags,
and almost every appliance known to a
well-regulated gymnasium. Rosamond
Johnson exercises as much as the
others, only he does not indulge in box
ing on account of mis- piano playing.
His brother and Bob Cole, however,
put on the gloves every morning, and
while they are sparring Rosamond gen.
orally plays little ragtime.
The other day one of these amateur
pugilists received terrific, punch in
the eye, and Rosamond began playing
He May Get Over 1t, But He'll Never
Look the Same and Call Cab and
Send Me Home AS these selections
aroused the ire of his co-laborer, Rosa
mond thought that discretion was the
better part of valor, so he hastily left
the apartment, whstling NO Room for
| Me."-Theater Topics.
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1903-08-16
AGE AND REPORTERS.
A Warm Endorsement of the Protest
Against Calling Men of 60 Aged"

Our neighbor, the Times makes a just
protest against an unfortunate habit of
reporters and makers of newspapers
headlines" These gentlemen persist in
calling folks of 90 and thereabout
aged" The habit is spread all over
the United States. We have rebuked
1t hundred and a hundred times. For
the instruction and reproof of the err
ing, we have culled from the long roll
of living centenarians many a candi-
date for the bicentenarian class. Thus
have We sought to instil d sense of pro-
portion and a knowledge of the proper
divisions of human life.
If the enithet aged is still msap-
piled scandalously. the fault is not
wholly due to the youth and ineXperi-
ence of reporters and 'deskmen.' -
Strange as it seems to the newspaper
kindergartener with the dimpled chin,
reporters are eXtant who have grand
children. and we have known copy
readers" of patriarchal beard. Yet
these persons, VINO should be the first
to resent an improper use of this abus-
ed and foolish adjective "aged," will
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1903-08-16

themselves misuse it shanefully. The
confounded impenera bility of matter is
their excuse. A "headline' can hold
only so many letters. A man of 60 may
be 'middle-aged" or young in the
estimation of the copy reader but the
first epithet is much too long and the
second is often too long by letter The
real or supposed necessities of type
have imposed themselves. The report
er. however, ingenious in his budding
days naturally complies with the style
of the fortunate man who has the hap
piness of reading his compositions.
Thus millions OF tender Juveniles are
classified as aged to their amusement
or annoyance.
This is Inc kindest defense that can
be made of thing essentially indefen
sible. There is a darker side to the
matter. The study of these reporters,
like that of too many other characters
of this age of novels, is but little on the
Bible. If they would learn the fifth
chapter of Genesis by heart, they would
get "a correct notion of age. Here are
a few men who, in their last years
might without offense have been called
aged" Adam, $50: Seth. 912; Enos. 9O5.
Cainan. 80: Jared, 962; Metnuselah 969
We exclude middle-aged persons like
Mahalaleel, who was cut off in his
S96th year. and adolescents like La
mech, who lasted only ~ gears. In
deed, Methuselah is the only man in
the list to whom we should grant
patent to be called aged but the
standard must not be put too high at
first.
Niability increases every day. In 4
few hundred years no life insurance
company will dare to sell an annuity
1t Is the more unbecoming to speak OF
Str1pllngs of so and 20 as aged" For
the convenience of reporters and others
we give d provisional scheme of CLASH
1lcat1on:' Infants, as at present, birth
TO Il; boy, youth, adolescent, y to IL:
middleaged, Al until further notice.
New York Sun
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1903-08-16
JOE BR1srow. OF KANSAS.

This same Joe Bristow one day used
to be
Ye editor; a plain unvarnished I'VE. .
Who sat upon a trousers-p polished
chair
Within a dingy editorial lair
And clawed his hair until tangled into
To coax his weary brain to give down
thoughts.
On active feet he'd amble up and down
The loose board sidewalks of a Kansas
town,
Shake hands with farmers, talk about
the crops.
In playful mood pull whiskers of the
pops,
Chuck fat farm babies underneath the
chfnS
And pit his grins against their moth
er's grins.
Bestow admiring smiles on rural girls
And tell them thee were matchless
rustic pearls,
Make notes of Farmer Stebbins' mon
ster spuds
And with them fill the pockets of his
buds.
Praise good Dame Jenkins peereless
butter till
Her eyes would grow so moist they'd
almost spill.
And as reward when he would home
ward go
Would bear golden roll to Mrs. Joe.
Such cabbages he'd vow he'd never
seen
AS those brought in by Ebenezer Green
And when he'd leave Green's wagon of
the farm
He'd bear a monster head beneath his
arm.
He'd swear the eggs Dame Brown so
kindly laid
Upon his table We're of matchless
grade,
Well knowing that the tickled Mrs.
Brown
Would lay some more when next she
came TO town.
He'd tell Jim Simpson that his pump
kins We're
AS fine as ever graced a county fair,
And appreciation get Il prize.
And for u fortnight feast on pumpkin
pies.
He'd treat Sam Snodgrass to a glass
of pop
And compliment him on his onion
crop.
And Sam, to show he was a durn good
Teller,
Would dump a sack into the Bristow
cellar.
And when with keen delight the farm
erS read
The printed things this same Joe Bris-
tow said
They'd swell with pride. and when they
next came in
Would meet We editor with happy grin
And put their names down for the
Jayville Lance
For one whole year-"terms strictly in
advance"
This the Joe Bristow Of the once. but
how
The cuss has clumb to fame, Look a
him now! Denver Post
Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1903-08-16
A SNiPE HUNT
And Other Events At Iron Springs
Lsst Wesn.

Iron Springs. Aug. IA Especial CORE
real true star" event of the past week
at Iron. Springs was an extensive
"snipe hunt with Master Alvin Bur-
tbs in the title role. Master Burtis and
some half dozen retiring others whose
names are shrouded in abysmal dark
ness. INDUCED in a very pleasant hunt
| occupying the bitter part of a long ev-
ening. The sack" was held by Alvin
and strange to relate not a single bird
took advantage of the opportunity so
| invitingly offered.
Another native" has been added to
the list of Iron Springs visitors in the
person of bouncing baby girl, the
daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. Price Brown
| of Tempe. Nine pounds is the reported
size, and mother and child are doing
nicely. Or. Connor was in attendance.
special took a party composed of
Mr.. and Mrs. Emil CAM. Mr.. Sylvan
CAM, Mrs. f. J. Bennitt, Mr.. and Mrs.
Aaron Goldberg and Mr.. and Mrs. J.
| w. Doris over to private dance at
Prescott on Friday evening.
Mr.. w. 7. Mcpherson, VINO has been
ill and in the hospital at Prescott for
the past few weeks. has entirely re-
covered and returned TO Phoenix.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ii. p. DeMund passed
through Iron Springs Thursday on their
way to California.
Miss Mary Gilchrist. of Detroit.
Mich. is on Il visit to Mrs. A. c. Nc
Queen.
Mr.. Sidney Osborn is paying the Mar
shall boys visit.
Mr.. Will Lowe. who has been quite
i'll, has gone to Prescott for treatment.
Mrs. T. w. Pemberton has gone to
Congress, where she will visit her
daughter.
Miss Alice Brown is the guest of Mrs.
w. H. Robinson.
Robert Lowe is spending the week ct
the Marshall cote ge.
Mr.. Henry Hulett spent several days
at the camp this week, returning to
Phoenix. Thursday evening.
Mrs. W. D. Tanner was at Iron
Springs a few days this week.
Mr.. A. c. Mcqueen has been spending
the week at Flagstaff
Mrs. H. A. Diehl, nee Richmond, who
has been quite ill. is rapidly recovering
at her fathers cottage.
Among the more recent arrivals are
Mr.. Lin Orme Mrs. H. A. Diehl, Dr..
Connor, Prof. j. D. Lopez, principal of
the Mesa school: Mr.. A. Goldberg, Mr..
and. c. T. Hirst and two children, NJ.
A. G. Hulett, Mr.. Paul Greenhaw, Mrs.
w. F. Baseman, and Mrs. II. F. Ward