The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-08-30
SLIPS OF THE TONGUE.
Amusing Twists That Did Not Express
 What Was Meant.

From Tit-Bits.
 The worthy university preacher who announced Hymn No 35S. From Ice lands Greasy Mountains" and after re- ferring in his sermon to Bon the Jap tist" corrected himself by saying, 'No, no! mean the Japtist Bon," has had many imitators at oxford and elsewhere, although 1t is only fair to say that the universities are specially favored by them.
 It was, for instance, varsity Don who one Sunday startled his congregation by giving out Hymn 175. The 175th Hymn Kinquering Congs Their Titles Take;" and another of the learned fraternity who, preaching a sermon in honor of , Queen Victoria's diamond jubilee, re- ferred to her majesty in these impressive words Now, my brethren, you have queer Dean, very queer Dean, and very queer Dean indeed;" and to this day there are some who decline to be- lieve that the preacher was not having a sly hit at the dean of his college, with whom he was not on the best of terms and who was noted for his oddities.
 Many amusing verbal lapses are cred ited to the genial and popular head of one of the Oxford colleges. It was he, so they say, who once preached from the text, For now we see through dark BlaSSly, ana the boNlnB Shepherd into the Showing Leopard' in one of his sermons. On another occa- sion, whehn he was pressed by friend to stay the night in London, he answered with decision, "No l thank you! I must return to Oxford by the $50 down drain"
 This gentleman, who enjoys his slips as much as any one, was featuring one day from 9 to 10 on Greek history for men in their final school; and at Il he gave fo ha fourth gospel. At the conclusion of the Biblical exposition it dawned on him that perhaps he had got little mixed. and, by way of precaution, he said: Gentle men, before you go. would you kindly look through your notes, and wherever I said Pericles' scratch it out and write St. John. "
 friend of his learned dean of an OK ford college, who once gave a severe lec- ture to a lazy undergraduate, finishing with these crushing words: 'I am sor- " to have to speak so severely to you, but I am creditably informed that you have broken many rules of the college; you have been incorrigibly lazy, and to crown 1t all you have wilfully tasted two worms of course, the poor gentleman meant "wasted two t erms," and the de- linquent was under no delis,on as to hls meaning.
 Was it not the same dean-or was it some one else-who once kept a frieud waiting an unconscionable time for him outside his house. and then, emerging in a resplendent silk hat. apologized thus: ''So sorry to have kept you. The fact is, I have been brushing my black brat"
 There is no doubt however. that 1t was MT. S., who was the hero of the fol- lowing story: Once when he was stay ing in town he was asked by a friend to meet him at certain hostelry in a Lon don suburb. On the day appointed Mir. S. took train to Greenwich and spent some hours in vain attempts to discover an inn of the name of "The Dull Man" finally returning to town without catch ing a glimpse of his friend or the rem dezvous. All the time the friend had been awaiting him as arranged. at "The Green Man. Dulwich."
 But perhaps the best story of all which MT. S. himself tells. is this: q was returning the other evening along the Witney road, when, as I neared the sta ton. owing to my indifferent sight, I ran into a man who was crouching at the edge of the footpath; we rolled over to- gether and were both somewhat bruised. It was my fault said the stranger to me on recovering his breath but I was only stopping to boil my icicle.' '