The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-08-30
SOCIETY, or THE UNBIASED.

This club is intended be speech affair said
Col. Hockngton. and for that Major Venth-up
president No vice-presiaent named and
a whose perception is that MAJOR
ought comprehend sftua
What does chair understand genter an TO
sinuate? asked the Major who had relinquisaed
the gavel
only thar free speech confined to matter but
includes quantity member even as en-
tertaining as the Major a merger with himself
and monopoizes the conversation speech longer
because it has been monopclzed In that
speech may every member society
have the right 20 be heard in turn explained the CooEei
THAT reasonable. said Major Venthrup but
nounced that my remarks particularly privileged.
and abdcate momentarly present a strictly
personal Captain Greenwich will you please
cupy throne brief periOd?''
Captain Greenwich took the chair and began TO make
speech of thanks for the honor conferred
coughet down. y merely delivering the speech
l prepared when had expected selected presi-
the society," SAID the Captain but mop
perfume VIII permission print" he hlnded
secretary manuscript which by actual measurement
contained 5000 words.
What l would say" began Major venthrup. that
gentleman presuming to regulate the city of Wcata
touched upon subject crab grass Sundays
Now while believe in the freedom the press.
l think this society should pass upon
the City Regulator.
BY actual count have seen s7S men, women and
children. residents and hundreds of hired
lawns Graduating presumed pest. l. myself have
spent hours day for month wedding the
ror when all at once confronted with the suggestion
that had cultivated instead of fought this supposed
perncious clement 1 might be reclining velvet
sleeping messy banks and resting howery beds
ease"
Excuse me for interupting." said Parson Billings
but the brother doesn't holy Sabbath
in his reckoning"
think l a dozen dandelions and a
plantain Sunday, they were about
seed l deemed it ox-in- the pit
wish the rectitudinous wouldn't
interrupt"
Rectitudnous isn't good" injected the Professor IF
he
all applicable the benevolous divine this
ety with his presence"
'Wen well! well! for free speech society
hardest place to work in serious word said
Major. point. City Regulator is right
his only evidence appearing in the
Eagle, then the labor of the city been
vain. How humiliating my intelligence
to read that all his work has not only been thrown
away. but that has runpled and destroyed flow
bed of Now, If it true people
false advice will seeking eradicate Wich
ita will become regular back, speak. In
either the City Regulator coming
liberal. unbiased institution, will deep in
his hide though be pachydermoid" Here the doctor
cast beseeching glance toward the Professor not for
endorsement his general plea which needed boz
steering. approval of big word he had dared
"Pachydermoid,' said the Professor, is good 1t
from two Greek words paxus thick and derma.
skin The elephant is pachyderm and the word only
applies to in derived sense. When man
is thin-sknned he is sensitive, and when say
he is thick-s skinned
Yes, l understand" said the Major: that
he is elephant some such beast but did
10 offensive word toward the City Regula-
because this unbiased unprejudiced
club but if the City Regulator would mind his own
business and let my particular lawn alone would
regard him a better citizen"
Does the gentleman make a motion in accordance
with his suggestion" asked Captain Greenwich.
mo. don't" said the Major. "The minute motion
is before the house that minute the question
argument and while tolerant and open convic-
ton, should regard it insult if member (here
trary opinions AS have concluded remarks. Captain
Greenwich. will trouble you for the gavei.'
No had the Major got the gavel put
question and declared carried and the resolution
part of this society's records.
Mr. President" said DR.. File II IL in q
cety broad this it either liberal appropriate
for Parson Billings spring the Sabbath question Ny
views free thinker well and it like
personal thrust for this dogmatc member
for granted that his dogma infallible Now
thinkers cannot but condemn denounce and even derde
that spirit which would insist upon OF
its opinions while intolerant abusive toward the
real truth which free thinkers alone cherish. think
society of the unbiased is place for whose opn-
ions those of Parson Billings. 1 believe
tolerance but if the inquson could be justifable
would be in tortung the stupid notions
out of such intolerant the Parson. This world
will be fit for enlightened until all
learn the exact truth such is held alone by the free
thinkers"
20. Doctor DOCTOR said the Parson: Il heard you
and brother free thinker quarreing scandalousy
politics yesterday"
Yes the blamed ignoramus tried make believe
should be a trader" said the
Doctor. Il tolerate Parson when don't hear him
talk, but unbiased cannot be expected 10
listen with patience free trade especially with
prosperous Kansas crops (which the
direct result of protection provdence staring him in
the
Whenever this meeting politics It time
TO adjourn. said General Proddle Il know the
most liberal. tolerant unbiased in Wichita aud
will not hesitate myself and (here the entire
membership looked up each expecting hear his
nane) Major Nenhrup Ga general look of disgust as
the and they hot words when they talk
politics though in justice this speaker must add
that Major Venthrup is remarkably and opinion
ated on politics. / adjourn
Narrow and opinonated," muttered the Major he
left the chair and reached for hat 1t IS notorious
that Proddle is partisan when talks politics
he makes egregioUs Of himself He blinded
by political bias that there is pleasure taking with
him. unless could be deaf his fool answers
An American Humorist.
H. ID -T-a r-r--