davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Time to Kun.

Sandy-Why are yer running so fast,
pa-d?
Cinders-Dere's a lynchin' mob be-
hind me.
Sandy-Dey don't want to lynch yer,
do dey?
CindersrNo, but dey want dis
clothes-line I'm weaSl as s~uspenders
fer de rope.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
All ScraDS.

Pete-Dey tell me dat bully was al
ways coming around here looking fol
scraps. Did yo' accommodate him?
Sam-Should say so. All hit hin
wild a bowl OBJ hash.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
He Was q Rude Man,

John" said the young wife who
prides herself ON being sensible right
up to the limit, Just notice how easy.
fitting my new shoes are"
Yes, l see,' answered John.
"And JOHN" she continued, do you
know why l always get my shoes sc
large?"
oh" replied the ungallant Other
half Of the sketch, Il suppose it's be
cause you have such big feet"
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
TiDsy

Line a glass bowl with thin slices Of
sponge cake. Moisten each slice with
sherry. Put Owe this a layer Of pre-
served fruit, another layer Of fruit and
another Of cake, and proceed in this
way until the dish is filed. Pour over
all a quart Of good boiled custard.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Scheme That Failed.

Say" exclaimed the man in a
hoarse whisper, as he met his wife at
the depot, didn't 1 telegraph you not
to bring your mother?"
yes" answered she, "but she open
ed the message and insisted on coming
along to investigate."-Chicago Daily
News.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
A Severe Test.

Her Father (protestingly)-You wish
to marry my daughter, Ell? Why, sha
has only just graduated!
Suitor (magnanimously)-I know it'll
And yet | love her!-Puck.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22

these women had endorsed it. it's prog
ress was checked. Then, to draw other
women into it, various changes were eff
fected in it. Reduction of the ~fullness
TO the point that it did not increase the
size Of the hips appreciably, and aban-
Comment of the row on row of horizon
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Expensive Luxuries.

Vera Hitone-Will you keep YOU
promise and resign from your club just
as soon as become your wife?
Cal q. Mette-I'H have to. Couldn't
afford both, you know.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Important to Young Men.

A girl would rather have a half
pound of accent candy in a fancy box
pound of S0-cent candy in a paper bag.
-~Someryille Journal.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
A Little Ruse

Mrs. Wltherly-I bought this rug for
the baby to play on.
Witherly-Well, don't let her know it.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
LET US ALL UGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA
RIOUS HUMORISTS

Pleasant Incidents Occurring b
World Over-Sayin&s that Are Cheer
full to Old or Young-Funny Selec-
lions that You Will Enjoy.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
End in Sight.

Count Vacum-Ah, eet seems Eat re
rich American girls are getting scarcer
and scarcer for us.
Count Dodo-Yes, monsieur, all re
.g~et-ricb-auick' concerns are receiving
hard blows in America:
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22

He-When did you begin to suspect
] was in love with you?
She-The day you told me 1 could
have anything | wanted on the bill of
fare.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
A Common Affection.

"HoW's he fiXedE"
"Oh, he has the usual strawberry ap-
petite and prune income."-Puck.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
The Next Best Thing,

"Polehunter talks about making an
Arctic trip in an automobile"
"Why, he couldn't reach the pole
that way"
mo, but he could come back and
tell how he didn't"
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Terrible to Contemplate.

LaMontt-I see some one has invent-
ed a p~rojectile in the shape Of a cigal
that will annihilate an army.
LaMoyne-You don't say! 1 bet If
they made it In the shape of a racing
automobile it would kill twice as
many.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Hot Draft.

Mahoole-Ain't yez tn wan that
towld me niver to dhrink wather wild
out boilin'?
Physician-Yes, sir.
Mahoole-Thin Oh how a moind b
murther We. Oh dhrank boiled wathe
avn almost burned me mouth OF.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Behind the Scenes,

Sweet Singer-The tragedian says in
coming through the Rockies on a train
last winter he couldn't see out Of the
windows.
Soubrette-Terrible snowstorm, l
guess.
Sweet Singer-Box car, 0 likely.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Feminine Charity.

He-Miss Elderleigh certainly has 8
very expressive face.
She-Yes, indeed. It's the very best
money can buy.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22

Young man," interrupted the stern
parent, Il fully agree with you on thai
point, and there is nothing further to
be said on the subject. ~Good-evening
sir"
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
One of MANY,

Rubberton-Did Jones die without a
will?
DR.. Quackem-No, indeed. He died
very much against his will.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
4 Change of O~niniou,

$50 they named a cigar after your
yes" answered the sporting man,
in a dubious tone.
Quite a compliment"
81 thought so till L smoked n Of
the cigars. Then l concluded it was a
libel
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Pressed.

why, how rumpled your shirt waist
is, Edithr'
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Servants.

First Housewife-Some days l undo
about everything the servant does.
Second ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS How
do you dare?
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Ouite Another Matter.

Before l give you my answer" said
the f%uffy-haired summer girl, 81 would
like to know if you are in a position
10 keep me in the style to which 1 have
been accustomed"
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22

Miss Matilda-Your company is dis
tasteful to me.
Corporal Pinhead-Then I'll resign
from it. 1 don't like being a soldier,
anyway.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Out at First.

Sir" began the young man, Il CANT
to ask your daughters hand in mai.
rage. 1 feel that I am not worthy Of
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22

IF the styles don't change too often
1 am" replied the wise youth. "Other'
wise the odds are in favor of my going
broke"
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
No Titles.

Caperton-Well. sir, some one has
got to.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22

Henry" whispered the bride of two
hours, you don't regret marrying me,
even YETI"
"No, darling" replied Henry. Not
even YETI
The train sped on, and she was hap
py for another five minutes.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
Doing His Share.

Angry Father-Young man, you are
sitting up too late with my daugh-
ter. Last night l heard you kissing
her
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22
She Knew Him.

Edith was quite as self-possessed as
ever. But st. John colored deeply.
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22

DOUI HIO. ULU IL Huo OHIy JuSV OOC
pressed, too"
Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1903-10-22

radical forms Of full skirt
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10
JIM JEFFRIEs MEAsURED.

Cambridge Mass. Dec l0-Jim Jeff fries paid a visit to Dr D. A Sargent at the Hemenway gymnasium at Har- ward yesterday afternoon for an exam nation. It was pr Sargent's opinion after yesterdays examination that Jef- fries has a career of ten more years in the ring and that the big pugilist is a remarkable man.
 The champions $ mea surements were compared with those taken three years ago by Dr Sargent. and he noted two peculiarities. In the first place Jef- fries right arm has decreased in meas, urement from 16.5 inches to 159 inch es, while his left arm has grown into crooked position. and it is impossi-. ble to straighten it, out In spite of the decrease in Jeffries' right arm. it's punching ability has increased instead of diminished.
 Ihe cause for the second change Is given as the result of the knitting to- gether of the tissues about the elbow, due to the fact that Jeffries always leads with that arm. The curve en- ables him to get q better drive.
 Dr Sargent was Impressed with the general preservation of JefTries' body in spite of all the hard work he has done, The chief trouble with the champion is that he is increasing steadily in weight Three years ago lie weighed 22S pounds and since he has gone up to PAT. Herein. Dr Sar- gent asserts. lies his greatest danger.
 His height remains the same, 6 feet F inch and his chest measurement. 44.9 inches, is also the same as three years ago. His chest expanded. how ever, shows a good gain. measuring now ASA inches as against 46.9 inches three years ago. His left arm meas ures 16,5 inches, which is practically the same as before
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10

wise theGn to go back to Comiskey with request for new jobs.
 Edward Hanlon has not been attend- ing the sessions of the magnates. but it has been for the reason that he was occupying his time with Eastern league circuit business. He has no friction witch the Brooklyn people. in spite of the fact that he dlas been men, tioned as q possible owner and man. ager of the Washington American league team HanIon said last night that he did not know of any proposed changes ill the playing rules. but that personally he was in favor of putting the pitcher exactly in the middle of the diamond. or laIbont one foot further back from his present position, q change that, in his opinion, would pro duce more ibatting lHanlon may make a couple of deals in a day or two
 The nlagnates will hold another ses- sion to-day. at which will be discussed the question of pooling holiday receipts Tor an equal division. Those who ad- vocate this measure say that in case Of rain it is a hardship for two clubs on Memorial day, in Boston, for in stance, to go without this annual nest egg, while iII New York and other big cities the other clubs have all kinds of money ito put into the strong boxes at sundown. In other words n general cllt-up of the money taken in ca Mem orfal day. Fourth of July and Labor day is desired, but 1t is almost certain that it wiM find the waTInest kind of opposition. especially from the New York club which Is the chief obiector nowadays in the leagues councils.
 Barney Dreyfuss has so far refused to be tempted by the $40.OO0 offer of the New York club, and Ned Hanlon will be found at the old stand next sea- son.
 First Baseman Beckley will play With the Philadelphia Nationals next sea- son. President Potter practically clinched the deal last night in a talk with Hermann of Cincinnati. Joe Kelley. the manager of the Cincinnatis has decided to play first base for the Reds next year
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10

went to the rescue and met police- man on the same errand. 1t was i'll the big ring within the track on the main. floor. The cop and Young Griffo had stand up fight, the pu- gilist landing hard and often for part of q round. He was eventually sub dued and taken to the. Thirtieth street station
 Willie Mack of Brooklyn and Kid Williams of Philadelphia put up rat ting six-round bout before the South ern A. c, Philadelphia, last Tuesday night. The mill went the limit, al- though Mack was in bad way in the first round. Williams caught Mack on the jaw with heavy right swing, and the boy took the count He was very active ill the other rounds and capitalized matters by putting Williams to the boards with a short right hand uppercut on the point of the chin in the sixth Williams got up quickly. but hugged to the finish There was no decision. but in the opinion of the onlookers the mill was a draw.
 Jim Jeffries. who is in Boston, has consented to meet Jim Corbett in St Louis next year at the worlds fair. JeHFleS, however. makes SIlpulaTlOnS, and it is likely that they will be agreed to. Jeffries yesterday wired the fol- lowing dispatch to friend in New York: If g suitable purse can be secured In St Louis at the exposition and Corbett and can agree on terms, shall be glad to accept the propos. tion." But it is understood that Jef- fries also will demand that H. w. Lanigan who is promoting the affair, post big forfeit to insure the holding of the combat. Tn the last few years fights have been held at St Louis. but they were of only local importance and did not attract much attention. Dave Sullivan and Young Corhett were to have met for the featherweight ii. tie, but at the last moment this mill was stopped Whether Jeffries and Corbett will be permitted to have it out, if they agree to come together, is a question. Lanigan says there will be no interference and to show his good faith he says he is willing to post substantial forfeit
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10
AFRIcANDER BIGGEST WINNER.
S71.oo0 for the Crack Three Year Old
 -Other Big Rreadwinners.

A record of the performances Of the horses on every track in the east except Buffalo, this year. shows that In the two-year-old list Hamburg Belle. win her of the Futurity and the best two year-old lilly of the year, stands at the head, for in her six starts she was a winner five times and ran second in her other start. winning $46,3S5. Highball, the acknowledged champion of his age, is second on the list. He was first in five races and second in three, his winnings being $39,4SO. In the three year-old division Africander is in a class by himself. This crack colt, who went wrong and had to be retired, won the Suburban. Lawrence Realiza- ton and other big events, his record being eight firsts. three seconds and one third, and his winnings being $71,-. O10. Shorthose is second with six firsts and two seconds. by which he. earned $o9.6OO. The Westbury sta ble's good colt Irish Lad. winner of the Brooklyn handicap. is third having won three firsts and the same number of seconds, and his winnings were $26,4OO.
 Waterboy. the winner of the Subur- DdIl IAGACWdls DLEG HUH AdAEAASpP dlld other big races, and the acknowledged champion of the handicap division, stands at the head Of the list of 4 yeaf-olds. He won five races, was sec ondS in another. and also third in one, so that his winnings were S51, $50. Her1nis, although the race he won at Saratoga. when he was disqualified and the purse given to Major Dainger- field, is not included i'll the number of wins to his credit or to his winnings. won eight times, was second four times and third once, and his winnings were $24, ,S20. The western crack, McChes- hey. having won three races and been second in another. won S13,70O. while Gunfire. the winner of the Metropoli- tan handicap. won S13.6T5. Among the 5-year-olds. Land of Glover, the crack steeplec chaser, won the most money, a s his five ffrsts. three seconds and one third were good for S.21, ITO. 4 steeple- chaser also heads the list of Swear olds and upward. as Layator, by win ming six races and finishing third i'll two. won $13.745. Caribuncle. the win ner of the Washington cup and the Maximum. at Bennings, won twelve races, was second eight and third six times. winning S134S5a
 Africamder heads the entire list, his winnings being ST1,010.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10
ON THE MAT.
This "Terrible Turk Will Not Come
 to This Country.

This "Terrible Turk Will Not Come
 to This Country.
 Antonio Pierri, g wrestling pro- moter, has returned to England from 2 visit to Constantinople. where he went in quest of remarkable young Ter rible Turk, named Madralli, who is a6 years old and weighs 25o pounds. While there PierIi iourneyed to Yepi Passel. and saw Madralli wrestle with the giant Ali Hassan, who was in Eng land some time ago. There were 20.- GOO spectators present. and tile match took place on the grass, the combat ants wearing heavy leather brooches weighing fully twenty pounds, in order to save themselves from cuts. Inside of three minutes Hassan was put down and beaten with ease. Owing to the religious customs of the coun- try, Pierri was unsuccessful in his at tempt to secure Madralli.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10
SIX DAY BIKE RACE.
Eight Pairs Now at Tie Score Tor
 First Money.

Il
 NEW YORK, Dec. 10. - Worn and seemingly caring nothing for the exhor, tations of the big crowd which had filled Madison Square Garden all day, the six day riders have slowly reduced their pace, and they are covering only about sixteen miles an hour
 At very infrequent intervals there are sprints, but the cries of Hit CT up, boys!" which earlier in the week sent them off as though new life had been infused, seemed to be unheard
 At one time all offer of crisp five dollar bill made by spectator to the man who should finish three laps first sent them spinning around at dizzy ing speed, with Leander leading the other eleven riders all the way. He captured the prize by half wheels length from Moran.
 This is the second money Leander has won. having captured $20 earlier in the day after a spirited brush of a mile with Breton, the pIucky little Erenchman, who because of his un- ceasing good nature and staying pow CTS has won the hearts of the thousands who throng the arena.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10
WHITE WHIPS MORAN.

Peoria, IL Dec 1o.-Tony Moran the featherweight. lost. the decision her last night to Tommy White, before the Riverside Athletic club.
 Eddie Spragle, who was scheduled to meet White, was unable to make the weight, and Tony Moran was sub stituted The contest went the full ten rounds, and at the end White was declared the winner
 Moran did not make his best fight owing to the fact that he went on with White off the reel. without any notice.
 The boys are to box again. at the next meeting of the club.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10
We Are the Leaders

- Y 4 : t Y f
 Others must follow, as our rknowledge of the business dates from childhood; i; even our grandfathers were interested in this line, on the other side; and our close and cash buying enables Us to sell better goods for less money than any of our competitors ill the city. These prices will prevail for this week:
 Wilson's, That's AIT ... ....... S5c Wilson's Original 1a-pint Flasks 25c Hunters Baltimore Rye soc Monogram Pure Rye. full quart soc Shiedam Holland Gin. full quart. T5c Imp Italian Marsalle ....t..9.... 75c
 Our California Wines 75c and S1.00 per gallon and up. We also carry the leading brands of liquors, such as old Crow Golden Wedding, James F.. Pep per, Belle of Nelson. all over years old. Come. give us a trial and con vince yourself and you will agree with Us that We are the leaders.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10

No one who is not the bride of ;. champion fighter can. imagine the strain on one who is anxiously await ing the outcome of big fight, which means so much to the husband says Mrs Fitzsimmons
 T was confident from the time the match between my husband and Mr Gardner was made that Bob would win. No doubt ever entered my mind and could never figure him out q loser.'
 Another Mrs F'itzsimmons. Rose Julian that was. helped Bob win his, fight with Jim Corbett by encouraging him at the ringside.
 Some friends of Young Gritfo, the boxer. got into q hrawI at about o'elock this morning at the cycle race ff1 Madison Square Garden (TriffO
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10
SHEPARD HEARING.
Perkins Defends Morgan From Bondholders' Accusations.
NOTHING TO DO WITH BETHLEHEM
Witness Said His Birm Had No, Con- nection With Trusts Organfxa- tion-Lawyers Try to Prevent
 the Full Story Coming Out.

sion-Lawyers Try to Prevent
 the Full Story Coming Out.
 NEW YORK, Dec. 10.-Further re- markable disclosures were made at the hearing in the bondhoIders' suit against The United States Shipbuilding compa ny in the testimony of George ". Perkins, partner of J. P. Morgan.
 The most startling revelation was that the Bethlehem steel plant was not really owned by MT. Schwab, but that MT. SchWab was used by J. F. Morgan X Co. as a dummy in selling the plant 10 the shipbuilding company. This was brought out when it was shown that the contract of sale of the Bethlshem plant was signed not by Mir. Schwab, but-by J. F. Morgan & Co
 According to MT. Untermyer. conn sel for the litigant bondholdars, the stock of the Bethlehem Steel company was held in the offices of J P Morgan x Co. in the names of Mr. Schwab, his clerks and secretaries as dummies.
 Another amazing fact drawn from Mr. Perkins was That. though he had never been introduced to D. Leroy Dresser, he was willing to place $3.- 100,O with trust companies to be loaned 10 him. And just as remarka- ble was the statement of Mir. Perkins that his firm was willing to accept $6,- 100000 in securities of the United States ShipbHilding company as a re- ward for their services without having investigated the financial standing of the company In other words, J. P. Morgan & Go. accepted what repre- sented a years earnings of the trust and interest on $7,000, GOO without hav- ing the slightest knowledge of the value of tue properties of the shipyard combination or their earning capac city.
 When the hearing opened Lawyer William D. Guthrie, counsel for the Schwab interest, made strenuous ef- fort to prevent the making public of the full story of the connection of J. F. Morgan & Co with the sale of the Bethlehem steel plant to the United States Shipbnilding company, which brought OH bitter argument between himself and MT. Samuel Untermyer, in which MT. Guthrie accused MT Unter- myer of uttering deliberate falsehood.
 Mir. Unterlnyer showed to the witness a letter that had accompanied the reply of Morgan, HarJes & Co to tha cable gram from !. F. Morgan $ Go, asking that cordial view be taken of the defunct trust.
 MT. Guthrie made strenuous opposi- tion to the making public of this cor respondence.
 If this letter Is given by you to the press" said MT Guthrie to MT. Inter myer, II will take steps with the court to have 1t suppressed. r
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10
Moccasan sticks Fast.

WASHTNGTON Dec. 1O.--The navy department has received telegram from Admiral Harrington, command. ant of the Portsmouth (vs) navy yard: Attempt fo float the Moccasin failed Have 10 doubt af SUCCESS when wind comes from tl,e eastward. E
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10
Aiixups,
Hasbeens.
c .A- 9 T o ga e A.

 Total .......,.....,.. .22217
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10
ROWLING.

The. Mixups defeated the Hasbeens at the Y NJ C. A. bowling alleys last night by the score of 2.352 to 2,217. Each team has now won one game. The final game will be played on De- cember p The scores
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10
Lampoon ana Dam Mckenna Won.

NEW ORLEANS, Dec. 10. Lampoon and Dan McKenna both well support ed. were the winning favorites here. George Thompson. who has just re turned 10 this country with long and good record on foreign tracks, had his first mount on Dan MeKenna. Round ing the first turn in the last race Bar kelmofe fell, and Will Shelley and Shotgun fell over him. Wolf, who had the mount on Barkelmore, was se- verely bruised but the others escaped m h11rf