The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-09-12
THE PIKERs' LAMENT.
THE BACHELOR MAN

LIE bAIHELON MAN
Oh. the genus homo. to lead the van
In woman's world. is the bachelor man,
Inc pink Of fashion-spick and span,
Gay bachelor man.
A widow dislikes 10 be wife number three
Or cen number two. as the case may be,
So she crosses swords straightway we see
With bachelor man.
Young school girls chase him up and dowr
While mafnmas scold and papas frown,
They know he's the greatest fiirt in town
That bachelor man
And some girls think it is great to win
The bachelor man who has got the tin,
Though the scalps he carries it is sin,
Bad bachelor man.
A man viii wait till the gray hairs come.
Then scott at the mention Of happy home
Wise bachelor man.
But when he gets old. so old. ali. me,
With never a grandchild about his knee.
1t isn't such awful great fun TO be free
Poor old bachelor man.
He finds he has missed of life the best,
So he writes his will, and last bequest,
To an orphans home or a grandma rest
Sad bachelor man.
MONNIE MOORE LATHAM.
EDITORS NOTE: The author prom
ises the other ten verses at some future
date
..(&)-(&)..
a Wichita doctor wrote a prescription
for d woman that cured her of a serious
ailment. He has forgotten what was in
the prescription. and she is worrying her
self to death for fear the house will
0:..9
There are two things that even the
richest cannot hire done for them: The
roundup of their storks or the steering
of their yacht past the bar.
600:
Our friends may talk all they're a-mind
TO about the Pikers. We know they are
beyond most 1t is only the able who can
reach Pixies speak.
:-(]-.
I'll tell You how I have found it, said
a Wichita woman yesterday to a friend.
MY husband more willingly paid six
dollars for pair of number three shoes
for me five years ago than he pays three
dollars for q pair of number skies now,
even though he does get more for his
money
The Enid Wave says: 1T is reported
that Bob Nef, Tom Hensley and Frank
Greer were converted at different times
and different places during their lives
Guess st. Peter will make a job-lot of
them when they reach the gates. -
To which the Blackwell Sun replies
We can figure it out that Greer would
fiin-fam good old st. Peter out of his
robe, crown and keys TO the gates of
heaven before he had talked five min
utes with him, and that Tom Hensley
would be lighting the local administration
and organizing a bolt before we had even
had time to get osr harp OF gold in tune
and our wings and robe properly adj
justed.'
-l:l..l:I-
Any time the weather bird does not
come out at the big end of the horn the
good people will hear about it. Yester-
day the weather bird, with the help OF
the weather man, his grandmother and
a screech owl, said that frost nearly ap-
peared and that there would be warmer
weather. II told you So" Most people
have heard that expression some time or
other and it fits the weather birds case
exactly. He said that ii would be warm
yesterday and warmer today, and at the
last peep at the sign of the times good
many people wasted a whole lot of
strength sweating yesterday and Will
waste a whole lot more today unless it
rains.
There were plenty of clouds in the sky
yesterday, but to the experienced and
eye of the weather man
and his co-laborer. the weather bird, there
was nothing doin' in rainy weather be-
cause those clouds seemed to be afraid to
get into a push and jam, and it re-
quires pretty thick clouds to rain very
hard in this neck o. the woods OF course
those clouds could get funny at any old
time and give this town a rain. so there is
a possibility of a sprinkle at any minute
Therefore the weather bird advises that
all good people who would melt if rained
IN, should wear their gossimers, mackin-
-Oshes. golosheS, rainy-day skirts. leggins
and an umbrella or two. If they don't
need the umbrella it is well to take II
along and leave ii some place where
some other absent minded man or woman
could carry ii off for future use.
By the Eagles Weather Director.
NOTE: These weather stories in the
Eagle have been written by Mr. Cecil
HOwes, one of the staff. Two-thirds Of
he readers OF the Eagle have enjoyed
hem immensely. and have so expressed
themselves. Those who comprise the
,ther third are of that class who have
chronic dyspepsia, and never see anything
unny in the colored supplements OF the
Chicago and New York papers. Mr.
9owes leaves next week for Chicago, and
I is understood that the weather man
las paid him a half-million TO get him
tut of his district
10. =