davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23
THE=========:==:===;=;;=:;===========::=======:==
HUMOROUS
SIDE of LIFE

TIA. rer,ils Of Paddock Jones that enabled
him "a arrive at exact conclusions from
onr, entity irrelevant circumstances was
we'll shown in the celebrated Wakley kid
mapping case.
paddock Jones sat in his Office one morn
inc when there was a knock at the door
and = tall military looking man rushed in,
grasped the great amateur detective by
the hand and exclaimed.
Help me, Mr.. Jones. | know you can
End nv boy if he is still above ground.
am Col Walkley Of the Ninetv-eighth
RaC;ment. Find my child and will give
YOU all have in the world
Don want it answered Paddock Jones,
smptvng his pipe. You may tell me
about the kid however, and will see what
lean do for you"
Col Walkley paced the floor for a few
moments and then in tone Of suppressed
agitation said;
The boy is nay only child. My every
thought and hope is centred N him. When
Icame home last Tuesday and was told that
he had been kidnapped fell senseless in
nv chair His mother. his grandmother
and his six aunts who live with us were also
frustrated So you can understand what
his loss means 10 US,
Vow let's have the facts" said Paddock
Jones
Very WE'LL" replied the Colonel. Last
Tuesday morning about 10 o'clock my
bow and his nurse were on the stoop
and about TO start for the park when the
girl was called back by my wife Georgy
was left on the stoop alone for less than
five minutes, but when the nurse returned
he was not in sight.
The police we're notified and tho detec-
tives found boy who said he had seen a
tall dark man speak to Georgy while the
nurse was absent, give him some candy
and walk of with him. That is all they
have discovered yet and is probably all
they will ever discover"
How old is your boy" asked Paddock
Jones.
Just 4 years old, the Colonel answered
He is the brightest and manifest little
fellow in the world and we all worship
him. No child has ever had more love
and care. When my wife and l were not
petting him his grandmother and his six
aunts were lowering over him. Yet he
was Kidnapped
Paddock Jones filled his pipe again and
fell to thinking.
Been gone four days." he unused aloud
Man knew where he got him and yet
didn't
Paddock Jones paused for a moment
and then. slappng his knee, cried:
1T must be! Nobody else coulo have
zone it,"
What" exclaimed the father, DO 20,
know who?"---
Just wait till go to the telephone,
Paddock interrupted.
Within five minutes he returned. well
Colonel" he said oheerfully. my deduc
ton is right 80 far Within an hour hope
% be able to tell you where your child is
You may sit here or call in after"--
mol" I'll stay right here the Colonel
rejoined. trembling with impotence. Tell
me what have you discovered"
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23

while several sentimental youths were sing
ing that pathetic ballad We Won't Go Homo
Till Morning
Percy and Maud stood up all tho way
Their acquaintance stood next to them
talking all the time.
Here's Coney!' he finally yelled Nov
for Billy de Goat! I'm gettin' hungry as
a bull Come on"
Percy and Maud looked at each other
They did not know what TO say. Finally
the girl remarked, timidly:
:, y III, think sir; ; We will go In bathing r's
aWots de matter wild yez' Amt yer
goin' wild me? Hey7"
We'll meet you at 10 O'clock" said
Percy, shaking like leaf.
"All right, young feller! Dat goes, and
Ill be right here on dis corner, waitin'..
Percy and Maud hurried away. But their
progress was slow. The Island was swarm
ing with people. They went down to the
beach. There was scarce room to sit down.
Let's 60 back to the street" said Maud.
I'm getting hungry. Percy"
Percy fumbled in his pocket and found
the four dollars. He looked around for
an eating house.
Dinner, rs cents" was a sign that made
him go to the place In a bee line II was n
tumbledown affair, with half dozen tables
and rickety chairs. Behind the counter
sat fat woman who was respondent in
wig and imitation iewelry.
DO you wish dinner" she asked with
smile.
Percy nodded with dignity and sat down.
He asked for bill OF fare and the fat woman
seemed surprised.
Maggie" she yelled Maggie! Two din
ners!"
Percy and Maud waited for half an hour.
Then Maggie appeared with two plates OF
chowder The young couple tasted the
dinner and laid their spoons down
~Ain't IL good?" asked the fat woman
raising her eyebrows.
Is there anything morep" said Percy
"Wot der yer want for quarter, any
wayi'
This query came from a low-browed
man who stepped ont from behind a screen
and glowered at Percy
"Let's go." whispered Maud. and her
timid escort laid ore Of his dollars on the
counter Tho fat woman handed hack
the change reluctantly ard the Young couple
fairly fed
"Oh, I'm so hungry, Percy" Mnud ex-
claimed as they passed. 'hc frankfur'er
"Gi"e us two, please" sail Percy, with
assurance
II don't like thos" things, Percy. DEAR
Maud r,ea1e,l "lhcr are too greasy,
and tho man is so dirty Lots get sand-
wi"h somewhere"
.we don't care for them after all, Percy
exclaimed as he hurried the girl away.
They went into the Bowery,. Ing erpwa,
warm end ll.tsuapsssd. was Sighting neo
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23

| ways to make Roadway. The young couple
entered a concert hall and took seats near
| the door. A waiter with his hair CREASED
and his mustache waxed came up. wiping
| of the table with an old towel.
"Wot'll yer have, fren So he said. waving
the towel back and forth
1.-TWO sandwiches and two glasses OF
! ginger ale!" Percy replied.
Holy smoke Where'd yer come frem?"
From New York;" =.
An yer want two sandwiches wild two
softs?"
.Yes, il you pleased"
well, dat beats de deck. Ill get emf"
In a few minutes the waiter returned
with two glasses of ginger ale and two plates
on which reposed two pieces of brown bread
with slice OF cheese OF the vintage OF i774.
Here's what yer wanted, young fellerl"
the waiter calculated with a grin The
sandwiches is right of the griddle!"
Percy and Maud nibbled at the bread
and the cheese and looked Mt one another
In dismay.
-Settle!" said the waiter still waving the
towel. IT'S half a dollar!'
"A half dollar?" asked Percy, feeling
for his money.
why cert Twenty cents apiece fer der
soft stuff and a nickel apiece fer der dead
ones!"
Percy gave him a dollar The waiter
turned his back and fumhled with his
change. Then he held out handful of
nickels and counted of ten of them from
his right hand to his left.
OATS fifty" he said as he dropped the
lot into Percy's hand. The latter counted
them and found only six nickels.
There's only 30 cents here. sir" he ven
tured But the waiter apparently did not
hear
II say, waiter, there's only 30 cents here!'
"Say!" roared the waiter, der best place
for YOU is der daily house. Dere's ten
nicksIs in yer hand, but yer can only see
six. Wait a minute and I'll call der cops.
Dey'll look into yer head and find muffin
but salad dressinI"
Lots go!" whispered Maud and Percy
took the hint without hesitation.
Hello, mo boy" said short man with a
red face Come in here and get yer
pictures took, fer dime in a minute!"
Let's 20 in" Mand exclaimed. "We'll
be taken together on bench with green
leaves and flowers around us.
So they went into hot. stuify tent, where
dozen unfortunates were waiting in line.
Tho heat was intense and Percy's collar
soon Nilted Mand's curls were also
straight and there was tendency 10 leave
on the part Of many when the barker rushed
in and shouted
Keep yer seats, gents and ladies'!
There's big storm coming up"
Black clouds, that had been gathering in
the west, now came sweeping over the
blue sky and 10 jiify there was miniature
cloudhurst. The water soaked thIevah
The helas 10 tAs canvas Rad The Ssis knosa
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23
OFF on 4 LONG OURNEY.
Dog I'm = Crate Travelling From the AtIan-
Tic 10 the Pacific,

Passing along city street the other day"
said town traveller, Il saw, tied on at the
end of a loaded express wagon that was
standing in front Of an express office, a
crate containing dog. a dog that was be-
ing shipped somewhere by express Curl
osity prompted me TO look at the shipping
tag on the crate. The dog was going to
a CITY on the Pacific Const; long journey.
but didn't doubt it would get there safely.
"The crate was big enough for it's com.
fort, and il seemed TO me that the dog
was one likely to stand the journey we'll.
to make friends with all the expressmen
and messengers II met on the way and ia
get the best possible treatment.
I'm no Judge of dogs, and I may be
away of on this one, but this didn't seem
to me to be valuable dog 1t was short
haired. brindle in color, OF medium size
and rather lanky build and with rnthes
stubby head But 1t had an intelligent
and friendly face, which was just now
rather wistful
AS put my hand across the top OF tho
crate TO turn the tag 20 that could read
the address. the dog reached it's head over
toward me inside, glad TO meet with sorne-
body, even II the somebody wasa stranger.
1T was, In fact, a gentle, kindly dog, and
whether a valuable dog or nor, III bet
II is one beloved by whomever ii ia going
to meet over on the Other coast, and IN
bet that II makes friends with and geta the
hxef af treatment from A~nyy man vino IA
Tho hsadliag q b a. khA waY AaRaa -
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23
Maud followed, her face pale and her hat

Maud followed her face pale and her hat
over her nose. The elevated platform was
packed. train came in and the mob
swayed back and forth. Men jumped
through the windows dragging children
after them. Women were compelled to
wait until the cars were crowded. Then
they squeezed onto the platform.
Let's stand on the edge Of the platform,
Maud. then we can get in the next train,
said Percy as the crowded cars rolled of.
The heat was terrific Another Coney
Island train did not arrive for twenty min
utes When it came to stop, Percy was
swept away from the Platforms edge.
while Maud was hurled through the gates
by half a dozen men, one of whom said
with gr,Iff politeness: 49,.
Give the little lady a chance"
Percy, where are your shrieked the
girl
Here am" cried her escort, who was
struggling with the crowd.
who's yer pushin'?" snarled big fellow
who thrust his face into percy's and glared
at him. who's yer pushin'? Hey?"
I'm not pushing anybody. I'm trying
to get into the car where Maud is That's
all, " was Percy's reply, as he turned white.
well, all right, Gully" was the ruffian's
retort "Let it 60 at dat, But II I tort
youse wuz pushin me a purpose Id bust
yer lamps and send yez to der hospital wild
more broken bones dan yerd have II yez
fell out n a car on der tracks. See! Where
is der gal, anyway"
I'm that car there" Percy walled. an
therel'
well, in yez goes! Now, all togedder!"
The words were scarcely out Of his
mouth before tho man took Percy by the
shoulders, jammed him through the fight
ing throng, knocked down two women
and man and landed him In the middle
of the car before he could catch his breath.
"I'm ever so much Obliged to you, sir!N
Percy gasped, as Maud clutched his hands.
IAN right, me boy, Where is yez goin'?
To der island?'
ayes sir
well, I'll see yez down dere, guess,
and III take ycz around TO mo fren's Billy
d. Goat, He's got sweller Of hotel,
Best on lie isle
I'VE should like to 60 murmured Percy,
looking frightened
Hes terrible" whispered Maud as she
tried to move away
The train was under way and there wasn't
standing room. Mon wsro srnoking cigars
and pipes. Wonasn were nussin6 ln1su1'
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23
fore had an unknown prma donna achieved

fore had an unknown prima donna achieved
such triumph.
In the lobby the. critics were talking
about the new disoov cry. Columns Of
lavish praise were being composed during
the intermission. Every one was asking
her name and her record. Nothing like
It had ever been known in New York since
the regime Of Mapleson.
Flowers in profusion had been handed
over the footlights. Alone, except for her
maid. Cynthia Starlight breAthed deeply
In the floral bower Of her dressing room.
almost intoxicated by the fragrant odor.
the glittering lights, the roar Of the multi
tude.
sand a month ago I was on the iarml"
she reflected.
A uniformed usher with note interrupted
her meditations.
please take supper with me after the
performances" it read, and 1t was signed
Samuel Soldout."
Who is Mr.; soldout, Francine," she
asked her maid.
-hordy, ma am. don't you know he's
the manager Of this here bloornfn' show"
cried the maid in surprise.
The managerl" repeated Cynthia Star
But the question was not finished The
last act had begun, and Cynthia was sum-
moned to the stage.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23
BILL CONOvERS GLASS EYE.


BINdHAMToE, Aug. PA curious aooi-
dent last week in the chair factory OF the
! Stickley Brandt Company of this city
has had an even more curious sequel A
| situation which even the diplomacy Of ex-
! Aldermen Brandt, the president OF the COM
pany. has not been able TO grasp success
fully has arisen and threatens 80 upset
| the ordinary course of events in the factory.
! The company has never had q strike on it's
hands yet, but it is likely to, if old Bill Como
! YER doesn't get new glass eye or return
the SEQ which his sympathizing associates
raised q buy one.
The facts In the case are as follows. Last
week old Bill Conover had put the finishing
touches on a mahogany chair and was back
ing toward the elevator shaft on the fourth
floor with the chair in his arms, when he
carelessly stepped into the shaft.
He fell three floors, to the bot om Of the
shaft, which ia fioored with concrete, and
the entire working force Of the factory
gathered on the first floor 10 get the pieces
together for the benefit Of Mrs, Bill Conover
and the Conover kids.
Much TO their surprise. they found old
Bill intact. AS a marter Of fact when they
got him out and felt him all over he hadn't
broken bone, or suffered the slightest
injury beyond bud shaking up, from the
private 1a-k Of ex-AldeIman Brandt speed
ily restored him.
just az the men were congratulating old
Bill on his marvellous escape, il was noticed
that his lef, eye. which is beautiful crea-
ton Of white and blue glass, was cracked
right across the pupil, When the news
OF the calamity was broken to old Bill his
grief was pitiful o behold
"Man and boy l have had that there eve
for forty years" he said IAN ter think
Of losing /; now. I kin never look no one
in the face again with that her crack on
INV mind Dog dang IL. j wish the fall had
killed me, fer III never get another eye
like that
In the interests Of truth it must bestated
that when. few days later the other en-
ployees OF the factory handed old Bill $50
and told him to go and get new glass
eye, they were moved less by pity for Bill
than by a desire to remove that cracked
eve from their sight forever No man in
the place could work with that cracked
eve staring coldly AT him.
II made the men creepy and uncom-
Portable every time Bill turned the severed
pupil on them and by winking steadily
caused the two halves 10 work up and down
in opposite directions. When they couldn't
stand il any longer they took up collection,
and when they handed old Bill tho money
they inquired anxiously how long II would
take 70 go nav so, They hsasaA. 100,
49, kaSS asisSS u Is enough aasa1 saGs
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23
CHAPTER II.
THE HONOR OF rHx HUMBLE.
THE CROSSROADS.

THE HONOR or THE HUMBLE.
You are too stupid to work even in the
chorus. You are discharged. Miss Star
light
The brutal stage manager smirked mali
ciously as he uttered the cruel edict.
Cynthia's eyes filed with tears, but she
determined to make ono last appeal.
IF you will only give me another chance
-" she began.
But the stage manager raised his hand
for silence.
-You still refuse 70 take supper with me
tonight" he said. nieanfngly.
Cynthia's eyes flashed FIRE Indignantly as
she drew herself up to her full height
Il do" she retortsd. proudly.
THAT settles IL. then. You're discharged, 4"
was the brutal answer.
At this moment Cynthia turned and be-
held her new-found friend, the short. thick
set man who had guided her inexperienced
footsteps to the stage door
what's all this runpus about, simkins''
he said sharply to the stage manager.
Don't you know this is our new leading
lady? She sings the prima donna role In
the new opera. Be sure that you treat her
with respect hereafter"
Simkins abjectly scraped the floor to beg
Cynthia's pardon. When she turned TO
thank her new-found beneYactor ne had
disappeared.
What can IL all mean2" she murmured,
as they led her to the star dressing-room.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23

blew the tent over But all through it
the tintype man went on with his work.
Look pleasant "he exclaimed repeatedly
as the waterlogged people sat down in front
persons in the world Finally he took
Percy and Maud The result was hiCleous.
Maud fairly cried. and Percy. as he iished
up his dime, lost his temper completely
I'VE look like two fools" Maud said,
with unmistakable warmth, Throw them
away. Oh. I'm 40 hungry
Let g go and shoot the chutes, suggested
Percy,
"Ali right. dear And of they went.
They went TO the top Of the chutes. got
into boat and were soon rushing down
to the water Maud gave one long cry
OF terror as the boat struck the water and
threw her arms around Percy's neck. She
as she was helped out upon the float
II want TO get out Of here at once" she
finally said. The idea OF YOU asking
me TO do such thingl"
well. Maudie,. didn't know, Let's
go over here and loop the loop"
"All right, Percy. Is it nice7"
IL We heard so, WAS the reply.
And they hurried across Surf avenue
They got into the car after some hesitation
and soon we're rushing down to the
loop. Both hung on for dear life az the
car turned them upside down and went on
it's way. Maud was fainting when the car
stopped and Percy was ratified.
"A man who will take a girl into that
thing said an old gentleman with gold
trimmed spectacles, Ought to be horse
whipped.
Peroy's knees knocked together AS he
led Maud out Of the place and entered the
human whirlpool in tho street again
II want TO go home 10 mother just as
quick as you can get me there" she. OK
like to ride on the merry go-round Just
az quick as you can got me there. I'll
never come 10 this dreadful place again"
Percy soon had her in train, and they
went back to the metropolis with fair celer-
ity. That night after Percy had left Maud
at her home, he looked at lone paper
dollar with rusful oountenance and said
to himself
"Coney Island DO hanged. Never sgainl"
And Maud tossed in her sleep MI night
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23

From tho Adventures OF LockJaw Bones.
The footprints clearly showed that the
criminal was one-legged man with a
wooden stump. Beyond that the local
chief Of police could deduce nothing
A tall. thin man, clad in a velvet smoking
jacket. stepped forward and glanced at the
impression left by the wooden stump.
Twas Lockjaw Bones.
The grain shows tia oak. he said calmly.
He whipped out a microscope and ex-
amined the print more closely.
Not only oak" he added, its Charter
Oak. Go. get your, man."
But supposin' his leg is Charter Oak, y
protested the local chief. densely, what's
all that got TO do with it?"
What's Charter Oak got to do with it?"
Lockjaw Bones made a gesture of despair.
did you never hear Of Charter Oak Lunch
Rooms? Charter Oak Laurdries? Charter
Oak Diaries? Charter Oak -? Fools!
Don't you see your. man must be from
Hartford; Come along, Swatson. We're
wasting time here"
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23
A ROMANCE OF THg STAGE.
The strange Adventures or Cynthia 9tar4
light. Prima Donna.
CHAPTER /.

inc strange Adventures OF GymthuA M&N'
light. Prima Donna.
CHAPTER 1.
THE CROSSROADS.
Alone in the great city! So this is New
York at last!'
Cynthia Starlight, clad in simple white
frock, paused for q peaceful reverie at the
quiet corner Of Broadway and Forty second
street. The green carpetbag which con-
tanned her modest wardrobe slipped from
her hands as she gased ecstatically at the
vivid panorama OF life on upper Broad
way.
And so this is the Rialto Of my dreams.
she murmured. Here tread the theatrical
stars who have tempted me by their bril-
liant careers to leave the dear old farm.
Will / ever achieve the success upon the
stage which is my dearest dream?"
Unconsciously she spoke the words aloud
A short. thick-set man with a dark mus
tache, who had eyed the girl curiously,
addressed her.
so you want to be an actress, chr" he
asked, furtively glancing around to see that
he was not observed "Come with me and
will put you on the stage"
Cynthia Starlight turned In amazement,
her large innocent eyes beaming with
gratitude.
ooh. thank you so much, she began.
The stranger interrupted her rudely.
Don't thank me, he said with strange
tremor in his voice. Come
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23
PERCY VISITS CONEY ISLAND.
A DAY OF EXPERIENCES FOR a
DEVOTED l-OVNG COUPLE.
Difficulties Of the Trip, OF Getting some
thing 10 Eat. of Having Their Pictures
Taken In Tent During a Storm
Final CatastrOphrs for Maud.

Percy had been requested so often by
Maud TO take her 10 the wonderful realms
OF Coney Island that he finally concluded
that in order to keep on good terms with
his best girl he would make the trip on
Sunday After paying his room rent and
laundry bill, in addition to buying a meal
ticket he had bankroll which consisted
OF four paper dollars. It was a small for
tnn" in his estimation, and when he called
Tor Maud bright and early in the morning
he had mapped out a glorious time.
They made their way hastily to The
Bridge entrance. dense crowd stood
near The trolley loops, where every moment
There was free fight in which he women
ana children got the worst OF it. Percy
looked the situation over and then said to
Maud
As soon as a Smith street car comes
a'ohg, III push you aboard OF II and get
seat Here comes ono now"
Win the appearance of tho car there
was volcanic eruption, it seemed. Men
grabbed other men and wrestled all over
VI" pavement. Women lost their hats,
chi.dren screamed and trolley employees
yelled
f'rcy took Maud around the waist
ond 'rled to drag her to the car. A gigantic
oerman hurled Percy and Maud aside with
one one sweep Of the hand, and then threw four
H'te "ermans armed with sand sioveis
a''l I'm pals into the car with swoop that
look their breath away.
- How dare YOU push me-" exclaimed
Percy, in a rage
Look rot iss talkin'." roared the Ger
"an. TO der woods! To der voocls!"
""II hav" to wait for the next car,
WARE said Percy to Maud. who was
'ylnR I" keep her hat on straight.
say Young Teller, youth with fat
n,pped derby growled, why doncher take
Hey" '''''' ee'
d. guess | will" replied Percy. who lsd
'ns way upstairs.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23
Progress and 1nsa nifty

With the progress Of civilization. NOT only Is
Insanity on tho increase. but the occurring va
dwelling section Of tic population has drerioratcd
both In height and weight. and the statistics Of
recovery are less favorable 70 day than they were
twenty i've years ago. Serious os this may ap.
pear. while such a STATE exists one can neither
hope for nor expect relief from the great financial
and economic burden Of providing accom- mediation
for the insane OF the future. II relief Is To come,
II will be In some great change Affecting the physi;
al ~ wfI 10 aas nsasAi sssasA ss sAs Ss<~ss ~
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23
CHAPTER w.


In the gilded lobster refectory Cynthia
nervously awaited the coming Of Samuel
Soldout, the manager who had engaged
her so mysteriously and whom she had
never seen.
And to think that I must sup with him.
while the other one
And then she tried to Danish all such
thoughts from her head.
4 must never think Of him again she
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-23
CHAPTER III.
THE CHAPLET OF FLOWERS.

ooh, am so frightened. Will the ordeal
never end2"
II was the first night Of tho new opera
Cynthia Starlight, the unknown prima
donna. had carried all before her in popu-
lar tidal wave Of enthusiasm. Never be-