The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1903-04-24
col. CLINE ACCEPTS NOMINATION.
But Is Prevented by a Puny ''y"
from Leading the Democratic
Hosts to the Polls.
Larned Tiller and Toiler, April IL.

|
| The democratic convention met in
Dodge City on the 9th and nominated
one Chas. F. Clyne. The Hon. 5. L.
Hale, without having the fear of God
before his eyes and being fully pos
sessed of his Satanic Majesty, at once
autographed Col. G.. Polk Cline of this
place that he was the victim and de-
manded u schedule of principles and
specificatio on of errors. Also an i'm
mediate acceptance. The colonel at
once responded as herein set out.
The letter of acceptance had just been
completed when the true state of af-
| fairs was made known, then he ''swOre
like our army in Flanders.
At my Star Chamber, April 9. 1903.
To the wise men, statesmen and phi
losOphers in convention assembled in
Dodge City for matters purely pa
triOtic. greetings:
While sitting in my star chamber
reading the INSPIRED Volume and
eng aged in pious and holy thoughts,
II rulnor has come to me which has
caused me to think that truth is
stranger than fiction" l am informed
by telegram that you have nominated
one of Pawnee county's best ciLizens
for member of the lower house in the
Seventh congressional district.
Now, therefore, this is to notify you
that | accept the nomination at once
and appreciate the high order of
craftsmanship, Judgment and patriot
ism of the learned body who have
made this selection.
AS l never had very many politics
and never obtained very many things
under false pretenses, | deem it neces-
sary to put forth a schedule of my
views on some of the dead and live
issues, as we'll as some of the other
matters.
First, | am in favor of pensioning
the Confederate soldiers and suppress
ing the ''niggers' or putting them
back in slavery. Now if any one
doubts my democracy ''let him speak,
| for linn have l offended"
Second, am opposed to the "ritf
raff' of Europe as we'll rs the native
buns, criminals and paupers of this
country taking any part in elections,
unless they vote for me.
Third, [ am opposed to taxation in
any form, direct or Indirect, except
for political purposes and to pay my
salary and election expenses and to
defray the expenses of my friends who
combined. conspired and confederated
together to secure my election.
Fourth, l believe it is one of the in
herent and inalienable rights of any
American citizen who owns any per-
sOnal property to commit perjury
every time the assessor comes around
prying into his business, and if elect
ed L will secure the passage of a law
legalizing the crimes that have al
ready been committed and making it
a point of honor to lie in self-defense
Fifth, as all religions are equally
true to the people, equally false to the
phi lOsOpher, and equally necessary TO
the ruler, | shall modest no man in
his ignorance, and will even contrib.
ute toward the building of a Joss
house if it will secure me the political
influence OF the sky pilot who runs
the Gospel Mill"
Sixth. | will follow the platform
you have just adopted, although l
have never read it and would no more
think of reading it than | would IL
delinquent tax list Or II creditors bill
in IL court of chancery in Il suit where
| have no interest.
Seventh, at the end Of my first and
only term L will have ''accumulated
vast sums of wealth in the hands of
one individual. I can then wear
fine linen, fare sumptuously every
day. and vote the republican ticket
Knowing the ignorant rabble will
never be such damn fools again,
will Z" make hay whil.. the sun
shines" | can then believe that por-
tiOn of the inspired volume which
reads AS follows, tO-wit: TO him
who hath it shall be given and to him
who hath not it shall be taken away
even what he hath, when in truth and
in fact he never had anything
Eighth, believing that II mans
honesty does him no good till he
parts with it l will enter the'race free
and clear of all membranes. | will
make no false preIense in this regard
as it might iujnre me politically aud
in the estimation of my friends.
Ninth, ] believe in free speech, aud
especially when the eloquent speaker
occupies his time in making fiattering
remarks about the colonel. AS most
men run for congress on the demo
cratic ticket for cheap hOtoriety let
the CALLED jade vince not, nor show
any signs of torture it the press of
the district organize q Islander, mill
and expose him to public contempt,
hatred and ridicule. About all there
is in running for congress on that
ticket is the satisfaction one has of
seeing his name in public gazette and
hearing himself talked about That
is the way it has been heretofore when
the candidate made a cowardly,
hypocritical campaign, who was weak
physically. morally and mentally,
but with this statesman at the mast
head We will go forth "conqueriug
and to conquer
Again thanking you for the nomin-
alton and again accepting for fear
you will recede, 1 am, yours truly,
@. p. CLINE.
z. S.-Just before firing off this
telegram l have received word that
the ignorant rabble assembled at
Dodge in the form of a mob got my
initials wrong, spelled INV name with