The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-16
UNCLE MINGO ON FOOLS.
By w. 7. Williams,

Its VERY strange ting to me-"
said Uncle Mingo, apparently ignoring
the question, how some people all dc
time likes to be talkin' bout deirself."
Oats VERY funny" said the wait
er. For de matter o. dat, lows dat
mos ebblebody is a fool sometimes mo-
| or less. knows dat l is dog gone
| fool to be workin' cen a niger eat
in house, slingin' hash an brushin
out flies, Std O. bein' de boss OBJ pol
| itics club, pullin wires an organizin a
click so l kin be delegate to de mex
| convention, nominate Teddy an Book
er, an den mex time git to be pos mas
ter or else collector OBJ de pote."
Now OATS jis it," said Uncle Min
go; dat show 'zac'ly were de fool part
come cen. Wot's de sense OBJ worry
IN bout gettin' a job wot you nebber
| can't git, an wot If you was to git,
you wouldn't hab no competence to
ten to it? Std o. fich, wot you is
call to do is to larn how to carry two
or tree mo- dishes cen your han at one
time widout lettin' none fail. Also
| practice how to fol- up de napkins so
as to lef' de cleanes' side outside. Git
de business down to SIGH a fine pint
| dat You know how to git all dere is
outen it,"
IF 1 was to do dat" objected the
waiter, ebblebody would say wot a big
fool dat Teller is to work hisself so
| hard for anudder man wot don't pre-
ciate de same"
Very true" said Uncle Mingo
"dat's 'zac'ly wot dey would do, but
dat is jis' de kin o. fools wot it pay
a Teller to be one. Cose you mus go
long an stop BLOWN cen all your
spare change on policy, an craps an
beer an chicken fightin. No, sab;
you sabe it all up, an put it cen de
bank, an after awhile not only will you
know mo- bout how to run de bust
ness dan wot de boss does, but you
will furdermo' hab mo- money dan wot
he got.
Den one O. desc days your day will
come. You know a fool is like dog
edible one has got to hab his day. De
time will come wen de boss will git
to bodderin bout how to pay his rent
an his tax an his bill for de meat,
an he bread an de axIe-grease but
ter.
" It's mo- bodder dan it's WORTH he
say, Wen de wuss come to de wuss; I
wish could sell out de dam business
an quit ~.
Den cose you ak him inherent like:
Bout how much is you willin' to
sell out for?'
fin some dam fool to pay me sixty-two
dollars cash, I'd say take il an well
GOMEZ lock, stock an barrel, an tin
pans
"'Werry good you say; I is SIGH
fool; de place is mine. I'll jis step
roun' to de des' an write you out a
check for de triflin' amount. An now'
you say cen a patternizin' way, If
you's lookin' for job as waiter, I'll
take pledger cen considerin' your appli-
cation for de position, perwidin' you
kin bring me good recommen'.'"
Dat would sho' be rich," said the
waiter, laughing. II tink I'll perceed
to 'dop' de suggestin. 1t all go to
show dat sometimes people amt quite
as big fool as wot dey looks
Sometimes dey amt" said Uncle
Mingo, an den again sometimes dey
is blame sight bigger; looks is wer-
ry ondeceibin'."
You go to de circus, an out come
de ole clown; he's de fool O. de show,
an wot ridickerlous lookin' fool he
Is! De ringmaster crack his WHIP at
de clown. call him a fool, an he Amt
got de leas' appearance OBJ habin' no
sense. An yet if anybody say any,
ting at all wild any sense cen it, it's
de clown wot say it edible time, an not
de ringmaster.''
Yes said de waiter, IAN 1 spec
de clown gifts mo- money dan wot de
ringmaster does"
"Cose he do" said Uncle Mingo;
people don't want to be a fool Tor
nothin'. no mo- dan .dey wants
to be good fer nothin?
OATS de reason wy dere is so
much fools. De main trouble is dis: Is
1 maxim a fool out O. de udder Teller,
or is he maxim a fool out O. me? If de
Lord make you a fool OATS all right;
IL \ Iot L. lSl~
BILL
We'll" said the waiter, how kin
you 'stinguish tween de various diff
ferent kim o. fools?''
DE good book" said Uncle Mingo,
SAY you shill know a fool by de kin O.
folly he keep"
DE good book also say" remarked
the waiter, dat a fool an his money
is soon parted"
$50 it do" said Uncle Mingo; IAN
usin' da 'spression O. scripture as a
tex, 1 will perceed to preach you a lit
tie sermon,
MY bredren, you is fo'ce to see dat
my tex consis' oh two principal idees-
fool an money. You will see dat it
take for granted de fac dat fool al
ways got money Do it say anything
bout de wise man an his money? No,
cose it don't. wy don't it say sumpin'
bout de wise man an his money? For
de simple reason, my bredren, dat de
wise man amt got no money. Derefore,
1t say a fool an his money. But,
tink / hear some doubtful Thomas
objec de tex say a fool an his money
is soon parted; how about dat? Wy,
my bredren. OATS de simples' ting cen
de worl! It's mighty easy to change
a fool to a wise man an wicy wersy.
Soon as de fool gifts parted from his
money he gifts 'sperience. an dereby
he becometh a wise man. Likewise
If you glib a lot o. money to a wise
man de chances is ten to one but wot
he gifts to be fool right away. Sich
a ting has been known to occur quite
frequent"
"Accordin' to dat" said the waiter,
lit is heap mo pleasant to be change
to a fool dan 10 a wise man"
ITO be sho' 1t u.s." said Uncle Mingo,
IF so be you kin only keep from be-
In quite as big "A fool as people tink
you Is. II people think you is a wise
man, dey is goin' to be on a mighty
sharp lookout all de time for fear you
might be goin' to do dem, one way or
anudder. on de udder han. IL de
general depression git suckelatin' dat
you is a fool. nobody amt goin' 10
watch you 40 close, an you has
regular picnic.
wen de Kunnel was a boy an go
in 10 school ] hear him readin' once
cen de lesson book story bout a