, 1903-12-30

riageable girls. Make the average fee
$50, and you SEQ what there is in 1t.
A dividond of at least % per cent can
be declared every year. Keep your eye
on this scheme until you can unload
mining and railroad stocks and come
in out of the wet. Certificates of
shares will be put at So each, so that
all can invest. Divorces procured for
grass widows at reasonable figures and
without unnecessary delay. How do
you like it, my friendg
"Don't-don't | get my 80 cent?
asked the tailor in a helpless way as
he pointed to the bill lying on the
desk.
"You do, my dear creditor. You get
1t a hundred thousand times over.
That's what I'm working for. You
| have had confidence in my financial
! integrity, and | wish to prove my graf
itude. If you don't fancy what | have
mentioned why not join me in my lit
tie Florida scheme and be able to buy
n national bank within two years?
"Ten thousand acres of swamp lands
can be bought in Florida for 81 an
acre. Each acre will furnish pasture
ground for $4,000 frogs. At one year
old each frog will sell right there on
the ground for Il dime. That is. his
hind legs will, while the rest of his
body can be fed to 10000 ducks and
geese being raised for market at the
same time. No machinery to get out
of order about this scheme. Requires
no ice in summer and nc cold storage
in winter. Capital stock only $4,000
and monthly dividends of 80 per cent
guaranteed. Bound to go with a jump
bound to. Cannot be consolidated
with any gas company nor sold to an
English syndicate. Title not yet Sc
lected. but will probably be the Great
Southern Frog and Fowl Raising COM
pany. Trustees holding funds for or
phans are asked to look into this
scheme for. richness. Can you bring
me $75 by 4 o'clock this afternoon as
your share of the preliminary ex-
penses?"
''By tunder! By tunder!' gasped
the tailor as he walked about with the
perspiration standing out on his face.
You are Il hard man to suit, but |
still have something to offer you" pla-
cidly continued the major as he looked
for and lighted the stub end of a cigar.
do you want to make money
enough in a week to buy the earth?
All right. Bring me in 5000 by tomor-
row noon, and | will admit you as an
equal partner in my latest and per-
haps most profitable scheme. 1t is to
seize Canada some dark night and sell
her to the United States. The capital
required is only 100000, and Uncle
Sam would jump at an offer to pay
$50, 000,O @ cash on the nail. Clear
profit in Il week or so, $4,000. 900.
Wanted-A first class seller who is not
afraid of work and has had some eX-
perience in Selling countries. Apply
at the Office of the Great American
Seller company. Canada is right over
there, waiting to be seized, and Uncle
Sam is right we here, waiting to
buy. You might run some little risk
in frogs, but this thing is spiked down
and can't get away.
"My dear Mr.. SchwartZenhammer.
come in with income in out of the
dampness. There is a chance to shove
millions down your hind pocket and
no chance to fail. Shakespeare says
81 like to know if l get my 90 cent?
interrupted the tailor with many ges-
lures.
81 have still one more scheme"-
began the major as he walked around
the room, but his creditor cried out:
81 vhas oop here NIT a bill, but you
don't pay him!"
"As | was SAYING
"Und you cheat me-"
Gas | was saying, my friend"-
"Und you vhas some dead beats, und
| go und hat three lawsuits on your
The tailor flourished his arms and
looked his Indignation and disgust and
stalked out of the room, and the grand
promoter looked after him and sighed
and shook his head and said to him
self:
81 would have made a Rothschild of
him within a year, but. alas, he is we'd
ded to his goose" NJ. QUAD.