Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1903-05-07


which happened when l was first mar
ried to your ma. We set up housekeep-
ing in one of those cottages that you
read about in the story books, but that
you want to shy away from when it's
put up to you to live in one of them.
1t was just the place to go for picnic,
but it's been my experience that a fell
low does most of his picnicking before
he's married.
Your ma did the cooking and | hus-
tied for things to cook, though | would
take shy at it myself once in awhile
and get up my muscle tossing tlapjacks.
1t was pretty rough sailing, you bet
but one way and another we managed
to get good deal of satisfaction out of
it, because we had made up our minds
to take our fun as we went along.
With most people happiness is some
thing that is always just a day off. But
| have made it a rule never to put off
being happy till tomorrow.
l was clerking in a general store at
that time, but | had little weakness
for live stock even then, and while l
couldn't afford to plunge in it exactly
| managed to buy likely little shote
that | reckoned on carrying through
the summer on credit and presenting
with a bill for board in the fall. He
was just a plain pig when he came to
us, and we kept him in little sty, but
we weren't long in finding out that he
wasn't any ordinary root and grunt
pig. The first 1 knew your ma was
calling him Toby and had turned him
loose. Answered to his name like a
dog. Never saw such a sociable pig.
| Wanted to sit on the porch with US
| Tried to come into the house evenings
Used to run down the road squealing
for joy when he saw me coming home
from work.
Well, it got on toward November anC
Toby had been making the most of his
opportunities. | never saw a pig tina
turned corn into fat so fast, and the
stouter he got the better his disposition
grew. 1 reckon l was attached to hin
myself in a sort of a sneaking way, bu
| was mighty fond of hog meat toe
and we needed Toby in the kitchen s.
sent around and had him butchered.
When I got home to dinner next day
l noticed that your ma looked might
solemn as she set the roast of por
down in front of me, but | strayed of
{ thinking of something else as 1 carved
and my wits were off woolgatherin
: sure enough when l said:
"Will you have a piece of Toby, m
dearY'
Well, sir, she just looked at me for
moment, and then she burst out cryin
and ran away from the table. Blu
when l went after her and asked he
what was the matter she stopped cry
: ing and was mad in a minute all tn
: way through. Called me a heartlesS
cruel cannibaI. That seemed to reliev
her so that she got over her mad an
= began to cry again. Begged me to tax
: Toby out of pickle and to bury him il
l the garden. | reasoned with her, AM
l in the end | made her see that an,
obsequies for Toby, with pork at
, cents pound, would be pretty ez
/ pensfve funeral for us. But first ant
last she had managed to take my appe
tite ,Rvay so that l didn't want an.
} roast pork for dinner or cold pork TO
e supper.
That night | took what was left o
: Toby to a storekeeper at the Crossing
$ who I knew would be able to gaze OIL
! his hams without bursting into tears
and got a pretty fair price for him.
| simply mention Toby in passing al
an example of why l believe womel
, weren't cut out for business-at leas
for the pork packing business. I've has
dealings with a good many of them
> first and last, and it's been my expert
: ence that when they've got veal
case they add their sex to it and win
and that when they've got a strons
case they subtract their sex from i
, and deal with you harder than man
: THEY'RE simply bound to win eithel
way, and l don't like to play a game
: where l haven't any show. When {
clerk makes a fool break, l don't wan
to beg his pardon for calling his atten
ton to it, and | don't want him t.
blush and tremble and leak a little
brine into fancy pocket handkerchief
A little change is a mighty soothing
thing, and | like a woman's ways too
much at home to care very much fol
them at the office. Instead of hiring
women | try to hire their husbands
and then l usually have them boil
working for me. There's nothing like {
woman at home to spur on a man a
the office.