West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-05-21
BOMSER'S BIOGRAPHY.
Only $40 20 go Down 10 Fame Alcug
with Washington and other Great
Men or the Country.

Yes Il was out Of order, replied Mrs Bow
ser, but had Il fixed. A man came along
yesterday morning and gave il to him and
he had II back before O'Clock.
DO you mean that stranger came along
Yes, he said he was from iewelry store.
And you handed him your watch wi,hou,
knowing who he WASP
Yes.
Well, II you don't deserve to he robbed
of your shoesi By thunder, but wouldn',
believe IL.
Why, what's wrongp innocen,ly asked
Mrs. Bowser.
Wrong1 wrongI You have a watch
worth sioo. You hand IL out 10 a stranger
TO carry off without one chance In a hundr ed
tha, you will ever see him again. II any
one had told me ,ha, you were as big an
idiot as that couldn't have believed Il.
But the man brought il back.
Are YOU sure II Is the same watchl
Yes
And he didu't steal half the wheelsp
No
Well you have had a narrow escape aud I
hope il will be great moral lesson TO YOU.
You are what is called an easy mark.
don't see that did anything very silly
protested Mrs. Bowser. have known of
your being swindled fifty different times and
you can't point to one instance where /
Whai--Whatl he shouted as he sprang up.
Woman he careful how you talk When
have | ever been Swinded2
On hair tonics and dyes aud fire escapes
and pa,en, fuels and such things
Never in this world and you know Il. No
human man has ever played me for Fat
and none ever will, while you would give up
the dress off your back II asked for It.
Don't you remember that you once bought
a new mich COW for $50 and lha, II turned
out that she hadn't had a calf for four years
aud was swindle1
J Neser--never.
Didn't you buy "a leghoru hens warranted
to lay every day in the year aud did we get
one single egg in over four months2
never bought hen In my liie--never.
Woman, what's got into your head1
But you bought fre escape warranted to
ease you down TO the ground as gently
Stop right there. II IL is your purpose to
drive me from the house this evening, why
don't you say so aud be done with ~ The
idea Of your talking such stuff.
Well the man was honest and brought
my watch back and let's say no more abou,
IT, see there is to be an exhibition of
pictures this evening and if you are agree.
able
Exhibition be hanged You have charged
me with being fool--a sucker--a victim Of
swindlers. want you to make that charge
good or render an apology.
But you called me an easy mark.
Aud so you are. have no doubt that
you have been swindled hundred times and
said nothing TO me about II. Go ahead,
however, and prove your charges against
me.
But Mrs. Bowser didn't have TO. The
door bell rang just then and a stranger who
had called to see Mr.. Bowser was admitted.
lie was sleek. Slick man and there was
mulassas in his mouth as he began.
Mr.. Bowser, ! am from the firm OF Ink &
Roller. the Chicago publishers We are
getting out hook Of biographical sketches
of 2So great men Of America, beginning
with Washington. have been instructed
10 call on you. We feel that the book
would not be complete without a sketch Of
your life.
HIM. don't think care for 1t replied
Mr.. Bowser. though at the same time secretly
pleased with the idea.
Bu, you must sacrifice your modesty for
the sake Of future generations. You are
like all great men--over modest-bu, ! trust
you will not carry II too far in this case.
Let me show you what have written up
from such facts as could gather and
want You to correct any mistakes and elsb.
orate on the whole.
The caller Ihereupon produced type.
written paper and read
benjamin Bowser, descendant of William
Bowser, who commanded the ratrio, troops
a, Lexington. Was a wheelhorse In politics
for 30 years. Wrote many poems and
essays aad delivered many speeches that
attracted widespread attention. Might have
been vioe-president, but declined The honor.
Had the respect, love and esteem Of all who
came so contact with him. In his unainch.
inc integrity Of character, he was often com.
pared TO Nero. The world will know fewer
men deserving a niche in the temple Of
fame
That was eli but II was enough 10 melt
Mr.. Bowser and send = warm glow al
through him.
Understand, said the agent, We make no
charge for this-none whatever n YOU
feel that you would like several Of the book,
however, iheT will COS, you ssa volume
No one is obliged to buy. The notices will
60 in iust The same. Have got the facts
righl2
Yes, was the hesi,ating reply.
Aud do you wish 70 elaborate on ihcm9
No.
Very we'll ! will bid you good evening
and thank you for your courtesy.
Hold on minute, said Mr.. Bowser, as
the agent rose 20 depart. ihink--I think
] will want about FIVE Of those books.
Nes1 J will put you down for FIVE. Our
rules are cash IN advance. will write you
q reecip, for the money and hope you will
get a special photograph for US. n you
desire to make any changes please commun.
ica,e with Chicago
Mr. Bowser returned TO the sitting room
with pleased smile on his face and ihe
receipt IN his hand and sfier slra,line up