davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-02-15

Nj. L. +.
First boarder--Don't you think our
landlady keeps good table?
Second Boarder- II she does. she
keeps it to herself,
ssssss
The Doctor-Are you sure you never
buried anyone alive?
The Unlertaker--Well, none OF your
patients. at least.
DO you take this internally" asked
the customer of the prescription clerk
behind the drug store counter. "Me?"
exclaimed the clerk, Coed Lord no! l
sell it,"
when Mr.. Casey died he left all he
had to the orphan asylum"
Indeed! That was nice of him. What
did he leave?"
His u children"
atasss
DR.. Smarty-Had a very delicate op-
Grafton at my place yesterday. Remov-
ed an arm from a lady's waist.
Dr.. Synnex-If it was your arm, 1t
could not have been very painful
operation for the lady.
ssssss
You don't mean to say she rejected
your proposal?"
NO, hardly that she was sort of non
commital, so to speak. She said when
she felt like making fool of herself
she'd let me know"
ssssss
Some people remind me of hoo
doo."
who do?"
Yes, hoodoo."
I said, who do?"
Well, that's what said-hoodoo!"
And now they never speak.
sAstss
Alexander was clustering around de-
manding more worlds to conquer when
his wife called him aside.
ALEC" she whispered tenderly. mo
ther dear is coming to visit us for
month"
With a shrek OF despair he fed into
the night and organized another cam
paign into Asia.
An attorney was recently cross-ques-
tioning a German witness. The point
involved was to ascertain what con-
dition the defendant was in from drink
ing liquor. The witness testified that
the man was not drunk.
Well, exclaimed the attorney, were
you ever drunk?'
No, sir. never vas"
How many can you drink without
getting drunk?" asked the attorney,
going up close to the witness.
"yat you mean-kegs"
The witness was excused,
ssssss
PA, will you give me pair OF
skates If prove to you that dog has
10 tails?"
Eyes, my son."
"Well, to gebin. one dog has one
more tail than no dog, hasn't he?"
Yes"
"Well, to begin. one dog has one
one dog has one more tall than no dog
then one dog must have 10 tails"
He got the skates.
Ssssss
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-24

Continued on Ninth Page.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-24
APPETITES
Created and Maintained
by Vinul.
THAT THE FOOD is DIGEST.
Ed is ASL0 EQUALLY
NECESSARY.
We Recommend VinOl as an
Appetite Creator.
WE GUARANTEE THAT Vlh0L
WILL AID DIGESTION.

Vinol is the greatest aid to digestion
that we have ever known.
It's because Ninol acts so benefcially
upon the stomach that it accomplishes
so much good.
Vinol contains the active curative
principles that are found in cod-liver
oil, without any oil or grease.
These medicinal elements act SO
favorably upon the stomach, that this
organ obtains for itself the elements
necessary for creating new flesh, muscle
tissue and for making rich red blood.
When the stomach acts easily and
naturally, desire is created for good
simple food and a good appetite is the
sure result.
With cod-liver oil as formerly taken
the medicinal elements which it con-
tanned were too often unable to
counteract the harm that was done by
the obnoxious grease that enveloped
them.
Now that in Vinol we have those
same elements separated from the vile
tasting fat, we have tonic and re-
builder that is simply marvellous in it's
action.
The following is a letter that will ex-
plain itself:
90 This is to certify that | have used
six bottles of Vinol, and have found il
of great value as an appetizer and
tonic in general debility. l have re-
ceived SO much benefit from its use
that gladly furnish this testimonial
in order that others may be induced to
give it trial and prove to themselves
dts recuperative powers. Mrs ELIz-
ABETH FEENEY, Waterbury, Conn.
We want every one In this place to
know more about our VinoI. how IL
cures and what IL cures. Certainly
the greatest tonic and rebuiIder we
have ever sold.
We, therefore, cordially invite any
enc interested TO call upon Us; and
we want all to bear In mind that we
will gladly refund TO any one who Is
not satisfied with the action OF VlnoA
every cent they pay for 1t.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-24

]. r. Dillon. T. NJ. Cunningham, Jr.,
7. T. Charlton, NJ. D.
Honorary Managers: William Rog-
ers, r. L. Lester, j. H. NJ. Clinch,
Thomas Ballantyne, r. B. Repperd.
Stewards: A. S. Nichols, A. Kessel,
Hugh Logan, John Fl. Fox, j. w.
jackson, ]. Cooper Harris, Joseph
Phillips. W. W. Pringle. A. H. Chip
man, w. B. Stubs, c. A. Vetter, Will
bur Coney, r. ]. Davant, John
O'Keefe, George A. Mercer, Jr.,
Thomas Ballantyne, Jr.
The absence from the meeting OF
Mr.. Thomas Ballantyne, on account of
illness was noted with regret and up
on motion a resolution was passed re-
questing the secretary to write and
convey this sentiment and wish him
speedy recovery.
The list of new members as read was
as follows: T. j. Charlton, w. C..
Smallwood, c. f. Inglesby, c. E. Ro-
tureau, F. NJ. Oliver. L. G. Schwartz
baum, e. r. Seckinger, j. L. Foster,
L. Putzell, P. H. Broome.
The meeting adjourned at O'Clock.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-24
THE ANNUAL ADDRESS
Delivered by F. VI. oliver, Esq, I'm
der the Spreading Oaks.

Delivered by +. NJ OltVers ESQ., Oh-
der the Spreading Oaks.
AS the members of the society came
out of the building at the adjournment
of the business meeting, they were met
by the boys, standing in double line
to receive them. The band struck up d
lively tune and the march was made
to the stand under the spreading oaks
in the center of the great playground.
Seats had been ranged about the
stand, under the trees, and these were
all filled except a number reserved FOR
the boys. The president had escorted
from the meeting Mr.. F. M. oliver,
the orator of the day, whom he intro
duced with few we'll chosen remarks.
Mr.. Oliver made a happy address, as
piring always to lofty thought and high
purpose, yet couched in language that
the boys within hearing could under
stand. 1t was received with close at
tention and with frequent applause.
At its conclusion, on motion of MIR.
Reppard, the thanks of the society
were rendered Mr.. Oliver for his eio-
quent and interesting address,, and
that copy be requested for publica-
ton in the proceedings"
Mr.. divers address in full, was as
follows:
Mr.. President Ladies and Gentle
men: Candor compels me to state that
when | was honored with an invitation
to deliver the address upon the cele-
bration of the 153rd anniversary of the
Union Society, / was overwhelmed by
the compliment. The fear crept into
my heart that such words as 1 might
utter would be meaningless and pur-
poseleSS when weighed in comparison
with those uttered by the illustrious
men who have served on similar Occa-
sions in the past. To name those men
is to name those ministers, orators,
statesmen and philanthropists whom
Savannah honors with the proud love
of a mother, and whom the state of
Georgia illustrates in her own empiric
grandeur. The glorious past of Be-
thesda, as we'll as her illustrious pres
ent, calls for an anniversary orator
whose daily walk has brought him in
touch with the needs of the widows
and orphans, or whose insight into hu-
man nature enables him to reveal to
orphan boys those rules of conduct
and those principles of life which make
for their happiness and success. But,
conscious as l am that the fullness
of these essentials are lacking in me,
1 can at least comfort myself with
the hope that my own years may en-
able me to approach nearer to the
hearts of those boys with such words
of admonition as / may have for them,
than would be the case were my hairs
whitened with the SHOWS of winter, or
my hands trembling with the palsy of
age. hope that l may come to them
as would an elder brother, clasp their
hands in mine, look into their hope
full faces and give to them some few
words of advice, or some few words
of encouragement. that may be of serv-
ice to them in solving the problems OF
life. ~
A Monument to WhiteieId.
1t is not my purpose on this occa-
sion to attempt to trace the history of
Continued on Ninth Page.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-24
BUSINESS LOCALS.

This weeks special at John Sulli-
vans, is Congress street, west: Picked
salmon, 121ac pound; Potomac roe her
rings and Cromarty bloaters, 25c doz-
en-; three-pound cans Boston baked
beans, with or without tomato sauce,
Sc cans. We are closing out Ander-
sons soup at cents can.
for the Seaboard Air Line Railway
Leaders of low prices on watches,
clocks and jewelry; reliable opticians.
120 Whitaker street.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-24

| POPULAR GOODS
REGULARLY SUPPLIED TO THE
TRADE BY
| HENRY SOLOMON & son,
SAVANNAH, GA.
CampbeIPs Soups
Gratifying, economical always
in demand.
Quinine- Whfskey
Great Tonic. Should be in every
household; can be had Of all reli-
able dealers.
Ben Hur Flour
Has gained more fame than any
flour of modern manufacture.
Green River Whiskey
Whiskey without a headache. A
favorite with all who have made
its acquaintance.
Harvard Beer
Creamy, mild, sparkling, steadily
winning its way to the forefront.
Buchu Gin
CDR. c. Bouvier's) The widest
known and most sought, for kid.
ney and kindred troubles.
Patapsco SuperIafiVe Flour
The pride Of every Maryland
household.
Ginger Ale and SaKsapariIIa
ROYAL SCEPTER," domestic,
but challenges any imported.
Corn Whiskey
"OLD HARVEST" In bulk and
glass, quarts, pinte and half pints.
Tom Moore
The most popular Cigarros. ten
for Is cents.
Cream Indigo Blue
Highly recommended by every
storekeeper, and all who use blue.
ing.
Snow Drift Toilet Soap
A Savannah product, 50 beautiful
that we can use and speak Of It
with Jealous pride. Try it.
HuyIerS Cocoa and Chocolate
So well established that comment
Is not necessary.
| Souders Extracts
Noted for flavor, strength and
moderate price for quantity
| Club Cocktails
c. F. Heublein & Bros concoct-
ion. Famed in both hemispheres.
Club Blend Whiskey
Distilled in Scotland, the most
delightful product of Old Scotia.
Henry Nth Cigars
Clear Havanas. Noted for their
rare fine flavor.
| SchIifz' Bottled Beer
Made Milwaukee famous Men
had something to do with it. They
stin have.
| Sweet Maiden
A highly perfurned toilet soap.
Retails at five cents.
Hills Ice Cream Storage
| ChuFns
Cream will keep as long as de-
sired. Vendors should secure one,
two or more.
Myers Royal Cattle, Horse
| and Poultry Spices
Improves their condition.
Fruit Jars and Jelly TumbIers
Made by Ball Brothers.
| ObeIisk Flour
In barrels, half barrels and sacks
All admit that it keeps UP to the
high standard we claim for IL.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
A LOSING GAME.
0pie Reads Story of an Agreement
with a Thief.

opie Reads Story of an Agreement
with a Thief.
In a collection Of "stageland stor-
les" Adolph Klauber, in the Phila-
delphia Ledger, has many interesting
yarns" by or about persons connect
ed with the drama. He remarks that
Opie Read is a clearing house for
about all the stories ever told con-
corning the eastern Tennessee people
he has put in his character drama. 1t
will be recalled that the scene Of
''The Starbucks" is placed in a
mountainous district, far from rail-
roads, where the natives are as print
tive and ingenious as a dramatist
might wish. cone man down there
who may be said to be another Jasper
Starbuck.' recounts Mr.. Read, "had
suffered for years through the activ-
lty OF a hog stealer named jim Jack
son. Jim was known to be a thief,
but he was never caught, and, be-
sides, wa so much Of a comedian that
nobody cared to prosecute him. Jas
p@er-if I can call him that-was
standing by the side Of his pen one
day surveying a particularly fine
looking lot of hogs. Jim Jackson
came along and his eyes glistened as
he saw the drove. Them air fine
hogs said Jasper. Never seed
better allowed Jim. 1ll tell you
what I'll do said Jasper. If you'll
pick any two you can have 'em per-
vidin' you let the lest alone All
right, Jasper says jim. You've
been a mighty good neighbor, and
I'll agree to it, but Fll shore lose
meat"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
Food Experiments.

"Prof. Wiley is not the only per-
son who is conducting food expert
ments on human beings" remarked
a clerk Of one of the uptown hotels to
a Washington Star reporter. "That
sort Of thing, he continued, "is done
at this hotel every day. Among our
guests is an attorney, an intelligent
and influential man, who halls from
a western city, and who is conducting
such experiments on himself. Since
the warm weather set in this particu-
lar gentleman has bent his efforts
toward the discovery Of a food which
will tend to reduce p~erspiration.
Strange to say, he has found the
much-sought-after nonperspiring ed
ible. His discovery is that by eating
alted almonds after each meal that
lazy feeling which usually then takes
possession Of a person can be easily
overcome and one can walk with per-
feet ease and as far as he chooses
without being covered with torrents
II preparation"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
MR.. JENNINGS, ROAD MAP.
Incident Showing Value Of a Careful
and Orderly Wife.


Mrs. Jennings was in the habit Of
keeping everything in order for her
husband, and he, like many another
equally fortunate man, says London
Tit-Bits, took it as a matter of course.
His letters and papers were always
arranged on his desk, his clean
clothes on a chair, his shirt studs in
the proper place on his dressingtable.
But Mr.. Jennings, instead OF taking
these little services in grateful and
appreciative fashion, was rather in
clined to minimize their value. He
never liked to have them mentioned
by his wife.
81 don't know what you mean by
speaking as if l couldn't find things
for myself, or as if you always had to
look after them," he said one day in
an injured tone. "Fm perfectly ca
pable of looking after my belong
ings if you would only let them
alone"
Mrs. Jennings smiled a tranquil
but exasperating smile and said moth
ing.
"And you don't always put things
where they should go by any means,
my DEAR" said Mr.. Jennings, within
creased emphasis. "You knew I
wished to start off early this after
noon for a 25-mile spin on my bicy-
Gle, and yet here is my road map on
your work table-without its cover,
too; you must have let the children
tear it. Well, | shall be back in time
for supper"-and, with an air Of
triumph at this timely illustration of
his point, Mr.. Jennings pocketed the
sheet of thin paper, creased in many
folds, and stalked out.
Mrs. Jennings lips moved as if she
wre about to call after him, but she
merely smiled again. An hour later
Mr.. Jennings seated himself on a
shady bank ten miles from his home
and took out his road map, for he had
lost his way.
"What!l'' he exclaimed to the soli-
tude and an inquisitiye squirrel.
"What!'' For spread out upon his
knee was a paper, covered with trac-
ings, to be sure, but not the kind he
was accustomed to, and having along
the lower edge the words, Seven
gored skirt. Size "a. Forty-two
inches!"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
ORDER OF PUBLICATION,

STATE OF MISSOURI, h..
COUNTY OF LAFAYETTE, %
10 the Circuit court of said County, April
Term, nth Day, April %, 1908,
The State of Missouri at the relation and to
the use of ia Fulkerson. Collector OF the
Revenue of Lafaye te County, in the State
of Missouri, Plaintiff,
VS..
William Ross. Defendant.
To the said William Ross: You are hereby
notified that said plaintiff has commenced a
suit against you ia said court by petition, the
object and general nature Of which is to
obtain a judgment for the taxes, interest and
costs due o. the following described real
estate, situate in the county Of Lafayette and
state of Missouri I wit. Lots three 1911, four
l4l and ten ll0l, block tWenty-siX l26l, st.
Thomas addition to Waverly, Missouri, said
real estate being delinquent for the years
1897. 1898, 1899, 300 and that said taxes for
said years, exclusive Of penalty, interest and
costs, amount IN the aggregate to the sum Of
Five and 5O-lOO Dollars IS5 5Ol, and that the
same may be declared a lien on SAID real
estate, and that the same may be sold or so
much thereof as may be necessary to satisfy
the judgment rendered herein, with interest,
ices, penalties, commissions and costs.
And you are further notified that unless
you appear at the next term of said court, to
be begun and held at the co rt house. in the
CITY OF Lexington, in said county, on the Bird
DAY OF August next, and on or before the first
day of said term, if the term shall so long
continue, and if not, then before the end Of
the term. and answer said petition, the same
will be taken as confessed.
And 1t is further ordered that a copy hereof
be published in The Weekly Intelligencer, a
newspaper published in said county Of Latay-
cite, Tor four weeks successfully, the last
insertion to be at least 30 days before the com
mencement Of the next term of this court
A true copy. Attest
IsEALl j II. CAMPBELL, Clerk.
BY W. j. SYDNoR. ID. Z.
Cnas. Lyons, Attorney for Plaintiff. 5-SOt5
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
ORDER OF PUBLICATION
STATE OF MISSOURI,

STATE OF MISSOURI,
COUNTY OF LAFAYETTE. fss'
In the Circuit Court of said County. April
Term, 18th Day, April %, 1908.
The State of Missouri at the relation and to
the use OF j. j. Fulkerson, Collector of the
kevenue OF Lafayette County, In the State
of Missouri, Plaintiff,
John Monroe, Defendant.
To the said John Monroe. You are
hereby notified hat said plaintiff has
commenced a suit against You In said
court by petition, the object and general
nature OF which is to obtain a Judgment for
the taxes, interest and costs due on
the following described real estate, situate
In the county Of Lafayette and state of Mis-
souri,, to-wit: Lot eight (Sl, block six Co.,
Pattersons and smiths addition to Odessa,
said real estate being delinquent for the
years 1891, 1898, 1899 1900, and that said taxes
Tor SAID years, exclusive of penalty, Interest
ana costs, amount In the aggregate to the
sum OF seven and Sl-100 Dollars S5.8D and
THAT he same may be declared a lien on
said real estate, and that the same
may be sold or so much thereof as NAV
be necessary to satisfy the Judgment
rendered herein, with interest, fees. pen,
alties. commissions and costs.
And you are further notified that unless
you appear at the next term of said court, To
be begun and held at the courthouse, in the
Slty or Lexington, in said county, on The
ora a or August next, and on or be,
fore the first day of said term. II the tern
shall so long continue, and II not. then be,
lore the end OF the term, and answer said pc.
luton, the same will be taken as confessed
And - is further ordered that COPY hereo.
be published In The Weekly Intelligencer
9 newspaper published In said county O
Lafayette, for four weeks successfully, thu
last insertion to be at least 80 days beforl
the commencement of the next term OF thi,
court.
A true copy. Attest
[sEAL1 ]. ii. CAMPBELL. Clerk
By w. SYDNOR, 90.
Chas Lyons, Attorney for Plaintiff 5-23t
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
OF PUBLICATION

STATE OF MISSOURI.
COUNTY or LAFAYETTE.
m the Circuit court of LAFAYETTE county.
Missouri, at Lexington, August term, 1903
Andrew Crews. Plaintiff,
Perry Fuqua. lawson Flu In Vacation.
qua and Mary Kelly and June 5. 1908.
BENJAMIN +. Kelly, her
husband, Defendants.
Now az this day comes the plaintiff herein,
by his attorney, aud files his petition and
afidavit, alleging, among other things, that
al the defendants are not residents of the
state of Missouri: WhereupOn il is ordered by
the clerk In vacation that said defendants be
notified by publication that plaintiff has COM
menced a suit against them I'm this court, the
object and general nature of which is 10
q teimine. define, adjudge and decree the
title of the parties plaintiff and defendant
in and to the following lands in Lafayette
county, Missouri; The Z y OF y OF S w a
of section 30, and a part of the NE \ of $ w i
of said section "a bounded as follows: Begin.
ming at the southeast corner of said quarter.
quarter, thence north 90 yards, thence west los
yards, thence south 80 yards. thence east
los yards to the beginning, all being in town
ship 40, Of range 20, and TO define, determine
and adiudge FOUR title thereto derived
through James Fuqua, deceased, as his heirs
and to adjudge that you have no title
therein and for all proper relief, and that
unless the said defendants be and appear
at this court, at the next term thereof,
to be begun and holden at the court
house, in the city Of Lexington, in said
county, on the 3rd day of August, next,
and on or before the tday OF saidterm, If the
ERIN shall so long continue, and ii not, then
IN or before the last day Of said term,
answer or plead TO the petition in said cause
the same will be taken as confessed, and,
Judgment will be rendered accordingly.
And 1t is further ordered that a copy hereof
be published according to law in the Weekly
Intelligencer, a newspaper published in
cessively, published at least once a week, the
last Insertion to be at least fifteen days before
the first day of said next August term OF
this court.
A true copy Attest
[sEALl j. H. CAMPBELL, Circuit Clerk.
By J. w. SYDNoR, Deputy.
VIM II. Chiles, Attorney for Plaintiff. 6-6t4
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
BREvITIEs OF FUN.

Aacse Biz gone hshin agm'
"Yes, | hear him say ter-day dat git
tin full al home wuz gittin monOtn-
ous!-Atlanta Constitution.
Does the razor hurt you?7 asked
the barber. No, the razor is all
right, replied the man in the chair,
but the conversation gives me a
pain. -Yonkers Statesman.
Ho.den-"Burget says he always
says what he thinks" Belden-
THAI accounts for it. Saw him at
the club last night, and he didn't
utter a word the whole evening"
Boston Transcript.
Miss Quizzer-"And why, pray, do
you call that horse 'Nail?'" Mr..
Kidder-"Because no woman can
drive him without great danger of
personal injury to herself. "-Balti-
more American.
"N onder why Van Major is always
referring to his velvet lawn"
"He's got a right to. He told me that
with the grass seed he had sown and
the new sod he's bought it has cost
him S4.75 a yard." Cincinnati Com
mercial Tribune.
Miss Ann Teek-"Yes Henry has
my wedding ring all ready, and it has
Kismet' engraved inside it." Miss
Speltz - "Kismet?" Miss Ann
Teek-"Yes, don't you know what
that means?" Miss Speltz-"Why-
er-is it Latin for Better late than
never?' Philadelphia Press.
Would Not Sound Well.-Clara-
''The paper says hal in Italy they
have begun to number the clocks
from l to "A, beginningat one o'clock
the morning. Dora InaI nor
rid. Just imagine how pa would look
if we had to tell him that Arthur and
Gus stayed out till 20 o'clock
N. Y. Weekly.
Usual Manifestation Of Wealth.
Don't you wish you had a billion
dollars?" 81 really don't know what
I'd do with it," replied the man who
pretends to be a philosopher. 81 don't
care enough about architecture to
found any libraries, and Pm not suf-
~ficiently interested in horses to wan!
a racing stable" Star
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
ADMINISTRATORS N0rlCE.

Letters Of administration on the estate of
George w. Marqnis, deceased, were granted
1905, by the probate court Of Lafayette
county, Missouri. All persons having claims
against said estate are required to exhibit
them for allowance to the administrator
within one year after the date Of said letters
or they may be precluded from any benefit OF
such estate; and if such claims be not ex-
hibited within two years from the date of
said letters they will be forever barred.
This 10th day of May, 1903.
Nj ID. WILSON,
5-3)t5 Public Administrator