The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-08-22
THE PIkERs' LAMENT.
.aTHE WICHITA MAY"

THE WICHITA Way
w. E. Bolton, known commonly as
Billie, but more widely as Bull Tick.
writes the following in his paper, the
Woodward News:
Last week, in answer 10 an advertise
ment young man from Boston came out
and married a Wichita girl The Daily
Eagle, in writing up the affair, states
that either of them reserved the liberty
TO withdraw from the contract if it was
found that mistake had been made"
Now that's something like. All that
either has to do is to serve notice on the
other that a mistake was made and the
affair is ended.
Hereafter no more tiresome divorce
suits, with big attorney fees, court costs,
etc, not TO mention weary delays of all
kinds
The Wichita way will prove to be i'm
measely popular. 1t is SO simple and
easy 10 understand.
And besides, it is very much up-to-
date. Money back if not satisfied is a
trade winner-so why not use il in bind
ing on Cupid's harness.?
The Wichita Way" is sufficiently
strenuous to secure the Endorsement of
President Roosevelt. and Kansas is the
proud mother of the most startling limo
walton of the age.
Gus Anderson is a conductor on the
Missouri Pacific. and this fact is prirna-
rily the cause of .'one on Gus. Being
on the road and eating at boarding
houses, he has gotten out of the way of
waiting on the table. For this reason,
he has been excused by his wife. How
ever the other day the Andersons had
company for dinner, and Mrs. Anderson
announced to Alf. Anderson that he would
have TO wait on the table. He entered
no protest, but picking up the carver
and fork he helped himself, then look
ing around at the company. he asked:
Now, what will you have?"
Winfield women stick pretty close to
home since the Twigg tragedy. Its
sick wind, etc.
A Wichita girl declares that when she
gets married she is going TO substitute
the wedding march with cake-walk.
Oklahoma is making a collection of
tame grasses for exhibit at St. Louis. 1t
should get some crab; it's so tame that
you can't scare IL or even drive it away
with a hoe.
If it takes a column 10 describe race
that never took place such as Thursdays
an actual victory is won?
q
Ed Howe, of the At hison Globe, doubts
the reality of this wireless system of tele-
graphy. That system certainly failed TO
report race Thursday after much blow
ing about what it would do.
Sir Thomas Upton has plenty of CASH,
This into all minds has been dinneD,
Yet Thursday this tea dealer RASH
Went broke and could not raise the
wind.
:-(@-:
Joe Pulitzer NIGHT establish school
to teach the game laws. His SON HAS
A FATHER rich enough to send him to
such school for a term or two.
o o
Some mems absent mindedness is pa
thetic. a woman who takes the North
Topeka avenue car handed a quarter TO
a well-known professional man in this
city, who offered to take her fare up to
the box He got the change STUCK
FIVE CENTS IN THE BOX AND
STUCK the other twenty in his pocket,
sitting down in a seat in the front of
the car. And the woman declares that
she don't owe him any fees, EITHER.
II
TO FIND THE EXACT TIME A FIRE
OCCURS IN WICHITA, subtract I5E
minutes from the time you hear the
Union whistle blow. These calculations
were made from the fire yesterday morn
ing.
:-(-)-.
If it had been a beer faucet and not
water one. that fellow at Salt Lake would
never have died. But there's that IF.
-l-i- +
THE BEST OF US ARE NOT
SPARED, as is shown by the following
from the Enid Events:
THE Pikers' Column in the Wichita
Eagle is new and interesting feature.
The Piker is certainly a Piker all right
and may be piked out of Wichita astride
a fence rail-
THEY say that the gas is so weak in
the North Emporia avenue main that the
women. who have THROWN away their gas
the stoves
That periodic comet which can be seen
with a ''36-inch equatorial, about five
minutes of arc from it's predicted place.
has been secured as an additional fea-
ture for the fall carnival EACH guest
will be expected to bring along his So
inch equatorial. Wichita pays the arc
bill.
Most men in nervously scribbling, write
their own name. WHY?
a2e@s eeeee;.