Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1903-02-14
A Letter to the Point!

into spasms, made us turn purple with
rage. and tremble with passion. In fact
so many and so varying were the emo
tons that it produced, and so swiftly
did they follow one another lone scarce
ly being registered before another was
making itself felt, that it was difficult
to keep track of them; and we find an
attempt to describe them even more diff
ficult. To begin with. a slip of yellow
paper was found in our box in the Post
Office, politely calling our attention to
registered letter. and asking us to call
for same
Now it is nothing unusual for a news
paper Office to receive registered pack
age. for many and diverse are the things
that may be sent by this method 1--WE
have even heard of registered cow,
but, thank Heaven, we have never re-
ceived one that way, but a registered
letter why, surely, that could mean
nothing, or contain nothing but money
Oh. yes. a clean crisp banknote. or shin
ing pieces of gold and silver Our
hearts warmed to the unknown sender,
although we felt the money was owing
to us, and probably had been sent now.
only after much dunning, and direct
threat to place the account in the hands
of "A magistrate for collection.
This. however, was all forgotten in
the exhiliration of the moment. and in
our eagerness to see the size of that
banknote, we firmly chafed at the delay
which, the slight formality of receipt
ing for the letter occasioned After
having the letter given into our keeping
we hurried to our office. for nowhere
but i'll the privacy of our sanctum
could so valuablea document be opened.
Five seconds later our sensations be-
gan. and lasted full half hour, fifty
shocks being recorded every second
Not since we had bill repudiated and
returned us by an irate Delaware wo-
man. who claimed to have paid it, have
we received so severe a tongue-lashing.
That our readers may see how harsh
ly and unjustly we have been dealt
with, we quote literally from the letter
"The fact that did not order my paper
stopped, is no evidence that | wished
to receive it without paying for it. l
am unable TO see any justice III law
that requires a person to go to the
trouble and expense of ordering paper
stopped, ETC., etc. Nevertheless, as l
do not wish you to lose anything
(bless him for good kind honest soul
he is really going to pay-we hope he
owes us at least five years subscription.
At the mere thought of 80 much wealth's
being thrust so unexpectedly upon us.
we began to indulge in day dreams, and
in our visions we discovered at least
dozen uses for that suppositlous five
dollars.) "As l do not wish you to lose
anything for sending the paper so far
tut, tut. man. don't mention the dis.
tance-why we send papers all over the
country, aye, even to California, to
Mexico, and TO Canada. while you
why man alive, You live in IA neighbor-
ing state, and we can almost hand you
a paper, and will be pleased to do so for
"A dollar, mind you, always strictly in
ADVANCE II herewith enclose (sensa.
tom thirty five cents" .(what, what =
thunder and lightning have all these
electrical shocks. and all this roaring
been over paltry thirty-five cents p
''for the four months which you sent
the paper beyond the time subscribed
for, ana IA two-cent stamp to pay postage
for receipt in full
Our mercurial feelings quickly drop.
ped from fever heat to zero, but as our
correspondent had complied with all
the rigid requirements of an unjust law,
we sent him receipt in full, and so we
will to any and all of our subscribers
W no owe us an account, whether it is
ten cents or ten dollars. We sealed our
letter and addressed it to Mr..
but just there is where we made n mis-
take. A second persual of the letter
brought to our notice a postscript, which
in our excitement had been overlooked
III hist ANaNihEt ttitu ttic SCltleS
fell from our eyes. and we saw with
clearer vision, and better understanding.
How blind we had been not to have re-
allied how manifestly improbable it
would be for any sane man II write to
an editor as had this person, and how
stupid in Us not TO have recognized the
hand of woman in the bitter TRADE.
Had it not been for the postscript, we
might have remained i'll ignorance all
the DAYS of our life as to the sex of our
correspondent. for her name stood out
freely and boldly on our mailing list,
without Miss, Mr.. or Mrs. to designate
the sex. and in these days of advanced
thought and of masculine imitation and
propensity i'll the new girl" the sur
name might easily belong 10 either
man or woman. However, it was
very nice postscript. and was evidently
intended as a balm to soothe our
wounded feelings. Here it is, punctua.
ton and all Il have liked your paper.
in the past, and, may, perhaps. in the
future, subscribe again, but altogether
on cash basis"
A cash basis, friend, is exactly what
we have been trying to get your sub.
scriptiOn upon, and we will take this oc.
casion TO make some general remarks to
some of our subscribers who are not
upon cash basis. We have on our
SubScriDtion list the names of "a great