The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-09-27
CHIMMIE FADDEN ON CENER> SC SC OSITY OF WOMEN SC cC
By Edward VI rownend c0pyaht eOa by Rbert

I'd Russell.
 left de elevator at it's last stop and makes for de roof.
 Was you ever on de roof of one of dose mile-hlghers? Say, dey is great; dere was a little cottage and not so very little at dat!- right on de roof, where de janitor and his wife and kiddies lived; and de janitors wife was gossip ping wit a neighbor on anodder roof, and de kiddies was playing around like dey was on de ground in deir own back yards, instead of up among de clouds. In de corner was a painter mug, paint ing a picture of what is seen, and if he gets half of it in, it'll be a wonder; only folks won't believe it; for you is looking down on de Brooklyn bridge, instead of rub bering to look up at it.
 Duchess goes up and peeps at de picture, toins her head wit one ear down and one up, squints her peppers, makes a meglephone of her hands and puts It to her eyes, and den, side steps, and gives a look like if she didn't take care she'd fall off de roof wit excite ment, and winks to me to catch on. So 1 says 'P'chee!" and My, my!" and "Wowl" and wondered wedder 1 was to knock de picture or press agent it. De artis toins around and sees Duchess blink ing, like de picture was so fine it nearly blinded her; and me, catching on. says, Gan you beat it? De finest everl"
 Den de artis says someting in French-Duchess was on dat he was a forner-and we was soon gasing gaily-gaily; Duchess ex- plained to me what he said; and de foist ting I knowed de ting happened dat Duchess was play ing for-de mug asks us would we lunch wit him.
 He digs out of a satchel bot tie of claret, some goo-goo stuff dat Duchess calls patty, and some cheese, and sandwiches, and in a minute we was lunching and talk ing art to beat de band-up dere in de sky! Duchess said tings to de artis dat she told me I'd said, till he asked was I artis, too; so she must done me fair; and when she says I was not an artis, only a lover of art-like his-he passes her over a little picture of de big one he was doing, and says would we accept it wit his com pliments-from what Duchess ex- plains to me, for he could only talk her kind of Dago.
 We'll, when we'd rode up and down in de elevator a dozen times for Duchess to get her fill of free snap-dough it made her sick we went on our way, and in de street she tell me dat de artis was a top-liner, for fair; dat she'd read in de papes about him, and dat de picture was wort good poodle.
 On de level, dat was no pipe. soon found out, for l says dat if it was what she said, and de artis was a top-notcher, l could sell 1t to a paper, like a mice. We chases to Park Row, and goes to de boss in charge of de picture end of de newspaper shop, and flashes it out to him, and asks him did he want it. He looks at de name signed, and den he says, in a hurry, dat he could use it, and would give five for it.
 "On your way!" l says. Five for a picture wit dat name signed ?"-for I was on dat it was de name dat was wort de gate money.
 How muchY" he says.
 "A tenner," I says, "or I'll take 1t to de next shop"
 De way he made me out an order on de paymaster for ten ner made me kick dat l hadn't asked twenty. Anyway, we cashed in, and Duchess reaches for de long green, and she says; "Ill keep dis Cheems, until we make up our mlnuS WHdI to uo wit it."
 You'll sink it, woman!" l says, "as per usual
 Maybe she says, and she didn't say noting more for so long I got a fright dat she had gone dumb. Say, dat goil walked up and down de Row, she stopped and looked up, looked down, whis- pered to herself, opened her hand and rubbered at de tenner, and closed her hand, and shivered; and I links dat she was gone dot ty, and how could l get her home.
 Honest, she near walked de feet off me before she says, "Cheems, let us go to your mod der's again"
 I didn't ask no questions, cause