New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-09-18
THE talk OF THE DAY.

THE Talk OF THE DAY.
A story is going the rounds OF the Missouri pres.
regarding farmer who is greatly troubled with
absent mindedness On the way home from town,
so the story runs the thought came to him that he
had forgotten something. He took out his note
book, went over every item, checked It of and
saw that he had made all the purchases he had in
tended As he drove on he could not put aside the
feeling that there something missing He took
out his notebook and checked off every item again.
hut still found mistake. He did this several
times but could not dismiss the idea that he must
have forgotten something. When ho arrived at
home and drove up to the house his daughter came
out 10 meet him. and with a look of surprise
asked. why. where is maw?'
THE MAID WHO GoLFED.
Last year she deity made the tee
splendid maid and 1.-the was she,
With pretty sunburned arms and face.
This year she still is making tea
With eatniP, though instead Of sand;
she sTi iSst to drive drive the he b Ssw but see
-CChicago Record-Herald.
II. II. Bagley. OF Raleigh. y. c. brother OF
Ensign Worth Bagley. who was killed in the Span
ish-American War, tells Of a Tarheel farmer who
was inclined to look on the bright side Of things
The man at work on land so poor that you
couldn't raise your hat IT, when a stranger
passed" said Mr. BagIey and asked him about
the crop prospects. The farmer seemed to bs de-
pressed. and finally the stranger expressed SYM
pathy with him and his condition.
This nettled the farmer. and he said: See here
stranger. I amt so blamed bad of ss you think.
don't this here farm '
ChoIly-That was clevah thing You raid to
Miss Peppsry--Wf9 told you:
Why, f-er--heard you say it"
Yes. but who told you it was clever''-CPhila-
dephia Press.
The English towns have more distinctive and
interesting names for their streets than American
towns. in most Of which many streets are simply
numbered Londons Cheapside and Aldwych are
more than matched by oddities many times
stranger Bootham is a street in York. and Botch-
ergate in Carlisle. Norwich is assertive OF class
distinctions in its Gentemans Walk. and Shrews-
bury may stand almost at the head Of list OF
pecusrities with its street labelled Dogpole which
may may not be related to NewcastIe's Dog
leap Stairs; but then Newcastle has Pudding Chsre,
and what may that signify?
HOME AGAIN.
Mrs. Fussan-Fidgetty.
Vowed that further life at home
Soon would overcome her;
Packed her trunks and went away
Wrote that Newport and Cape May
Simply were stasnauon:
Took the train to Florida
Hurried 30 Los Angeles
Found that altogether
Full Of idle tattle;
Took a steamer up the coast:
Landed al Seattle;
Murmured. What a pity
Climbed aboard the boat again
Frosty breezes further north
swooped around and nipped her
Worried till they met boat
Then the crew transshipRed her.
Back to San Francisco then
Met a Mrs. Johnson:
1o?I WsY up Party S W T2 tae moods
Didn't Ike the camping out
Said she didn't want to
Seem rude, but really must
Hasten TO Toronto.
Something at Toronto raised
Her intense adherence:
Left there in the afternoon
Di 8H?fe think nix the The Thousand Isle.
Were the least bit pretty
LET s6u tRs f s6r S 29S 29f c train
Still she wasn't rested up
Found herself more Worried
Thought OF home. repacked her trunks
once again she hurried.
woman's club where she presides
Anxiously suggested
Paper on her trip: she said:
wait till | am rested
-tchlcago Tribune.
Arthur williams. of Houston Tex tells a story
Of Senator Bailey when he was a struggling young
lawyer. There Democratic Congress con-
vention I'm Bailey's neighborhood and he started
10 walk to II. On the way he met farmer, who
gave him Mt
Going 10 the convention" asked Bailey after
a while. Yep" said the farmer. Ever hear of a
young lawyer named Bailey round hereT' asked
Bailey Nope" said the farmer. Good speaker
and bright fellow. understand" suggested Bailey.
"S'pose So" said the farmer. Yes" continued
Bailey. "and he Will be over there to-day. and I
tell you what we'll do. Well call on him to make
a speech. You all your friends tell them about
Bailey. and well call on him
The farmer said 'Ar right No more said
about the matter until there lapse in the
convention during the preliminary movements Of
the body Suddenly the old farmer up and suggested
that the convention hear from Mr. Bailey, "a risin'
young lawyer Of these dgGin's." he said. AN a
Teller who talks Ike putin out fire" Bailey!
Bailey. Bailey" more than dozen yells went up.
and Bailey came forth. Joe Bailey made OF
the hottest speeches Of ais life. and the upshot Of
the whole thing that the 'risin' young lawyer
OF these al-gns- got the nomination for Congress.
From The LADIES' Field: Ladies trained as
childrens nurses: practical training babies in resi-
dence" Mr.. Punch is glad TO see that the system
of Instruction BY residential (as opposed 70 merely
ylsitanu professors is gaining ground--tPunch