The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1903-03-07
THAT REMINDS ME.

THE other day." said Jones, an old
woman bounced into our office dis
| playing a notice that we had written
to her to the effect that tax on some
property of hers was due. She swore
she had paid it. l had the books to
prove that the tax was still unpaid
and suggested that she had made a
mistake. She declared that she had
| not, and said:
I" Don't you ever make mistakes?'
II assured her that 1 did not, and
jol1ingly added: The only mistake
ever made was when 1 was married.
She looked at me second, and
then said:
" No; your wife made that mis-
take
A little, dignified-looking man was
knocked down by horse in the street
the other evening, and, while brushing
his clothing let forth stream of abuse.
"You ought to have the driver ar
rested" said passer-by.
That's not what makes me mad -
said the man, Strengthening up. ITS
the idea of being run over by a horse
when there are so many automobiles
in town."
An over-indulgent father had a son
whom he fondly imagined had the
money-making instinct of a Morgan
and Gould, so he started him off to
New Orleans to speculate in cotton
giving him a substantial sum of cash
for that purpose.
In the course of a few days he tele-
graphed to the young man to ask how
he was getting. The reply came that
he was about even on cotton but near
ly $40 ahead on poker.
The father then wired back: Drop
cotton and stick to poker"
~
1t was down south that a woman go
ing one morning to call upon a friend
was met at the door by the small boy
of the family, who opened it for her
politely.
Good morning. honey" she said; 'is
your mamma engaged?"
That was a poser, and the child
thought for moment, forgetting to
invite the guest to enter.
I fink" he said, finally, having seri-
ously considered the matter, Il fink
she's married. "-Exchange
When Major Pond. the well-known
lecture manager. was negotiating re-
Gently with Mr. John Kendrick Bangs,
author of "OIympian Sights for the
latter's talk" on The Evolution of the
Humorist," he made the usual inquiries
as to the scope of the lecture.
Well said Mr.. Bangs, "it begins
with Adam and Eve and comes down
to the present day"
Adam and Eve?" said the major
Dear me, Bangs, can't you give 'em
any humour that antedates the Garden
of Eden?"
We'll" said Mr.. Bangs, refectively,
Il might work in some of your jokes,
major"
Il am wretched hand at remem-
bering people," said the impecunious
young man, and while this falling of
mine has often been embarrassing to
me, it actually did me a good turn this
morning. I was sitting at my desk in
the office when a man came in, walked
over to my corner and addressed me
afably, calling me by name. His face
seemed familiar to me, but to save
my life L couldn't place him; but I
gave him the glad hand and started
10 chin with him, hoping that some
hing would turn up in our converse
ION that would set me next to his
IDENTIFY. We talked casually and pleas
tntly for a few moments. switched to
ne political situation and them to the
ifama, but | was still in the dark.
Finally he buttoned up his coat. nut
IN his hat and said he must be getting
tlong. l shook hands with him cor
Tally, told him 1 was glad he had
lropped in, and was still in a. ouan-
larry when he turned at the door and
'sme back to my desk, feeling in his
pocket for slip of paper. oh. nv
he way, he said, I'll just leave this |
Win you, and / hope you NAV soc |
our way clear to settle the account |
It your earliest convenience 7 took
he piece of paper and looked at If
t was a laundry bill. NV affable Wis
tor was a collector
%
1 have just started to send NV how
ged s, to kindergarten, said a |
nan yesterday. His first dav ar |
chool did not impress him very ia
orably, judging from the converse
ION | had with him that evening. This
the conversation that passed he
Ween US: Well, my boy, how did you
Ike school? Not much Did Won
earn anything Nothin' didn't
now before Tell me what happened
well, the teacher wanted to know !
ow to spell dog, and 1 told her
what is the use of sending a kid ike
hat to kindergarten"
70
A good story is told in Connection with
ne of "Goof Bahawder's" battles with
ikhs, writes Captain Wheeler in
Navy and Army Cough was a man
extraordinary personal bravery. but