The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1903-04-16
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Rehearsing: HE combs his hair diff
Ierently every time" Eyes. he hasn't
learned his art."-Yale Record.
$50 you think you need a wife?"
Yes" well, nothing but marriage
will dispel that illusionv'-Puck.
The bar to riches: More men would
De rich If money were as hard tQspend
as 1t is to earn.-Chicago News.
Wife-'I found out something to-day
that l promised never to tell" Hus-
band-"Well, go ahead; I'm listening"
Chicago Daily News.
He-"And now suppose I'll have to
ask your fathers consent?" She-"Not
at all, Just ask mamma. She'll take
care of papa" Judge.
Take example: Customer Cat a res
taurant-"Can l see the proprietor?"
Waiter-"Very sorry, sir. he's just
stepped out to nch."-Judge.
uncle William, are you troubled
about the hereafter?' mo suh it's
de wharfo' er ed herein what keeps
me guessin!-Atlanta Constitution.
81 think it is silly to pick up a pin."
"Oh, don't know! l know fellow
that makes S. week picking up pins"
Get out" Eyes; he works in bowl
ing alley"
Arthur-"T would marry that girl but
for one thing" Chester-"Afraid to
pop the question: Arthur-"No.
Afraid to question the pop.'-Town
and Country.
"How did your daughter do at the
graduation exercises?" Splendid"
declared Mrs. Torque; "why, she was
the best dressed girl therev'-Balti-
more Herald.
Blibson-'T understand that South
American general has resolved to sell
his life dearly" Glbson-"Yes; he
wants ten dollars for the library edi-
on."-Judge.
Ping-"Some women novelists have
great power of diction." POng-"In
their home life I'll bet they show still
greater power Of .contradictionv'-Bal-
timore Herald.
First Darkey-"Dat's de mos con-
venlenest arranged farm l eber seem"
Second Darkey-"Dat's so. De chicken
house am located in the watahmilyun
patch. Judge.
Blonde Bridesmaid-"The ushers
haven't seated your Aunt Maria with
the family" Other Bridesmaid SISTER
to the bride)-"No, she sent only
pickle fork. Life.
The INADVERTENTLY! Well have
real horses real brook, real hens and
geese, and real hay" The Author
"And would you mind having real
actors, tooY-Life.
Mother-"Yes, Bobby; any man in
this country can be President" Bobby
-"Gosh! what lot Of Holsters there
are who seem to prefer working for
two dollars day."-Judge.
$50 you want my daughter?" growled
the old man. Can you support fam
IlyY whats the matter?" demanded
the sutton, suspiciously; ARE you out
of work Y-Seattle Sunday Times.
February ID: Mistress-"So you want
me to read this love-letter to your"
Maid-"If We PLACE, mann. And I've
brought We some cottonwood We can
stuff in, yer ears while We read it!'-
Punch.
Mrs. Muggins-"Do you attempt to
keep ND with the latest fiction" Mrs.
Buggins-"Well, my husband manages
to spring new excuse on me every
time he stays out late."-Philadelphia
Record.
81 tell you that poet is genius" "a
genius? Why his stuff is the worst |
ever read" 81 know But why do
Won call him a genius?" Because he
succeeds in selling it."-Philadelphia
Record.
Mrs. Witherby Cat breakfast)-"Are
YOU well?' Witherby-"Yes. Why"
Mrs Witherby-"You look changed. l
suppose I notice it more than those
who are with you cOnstantly.'-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Jocular Passenger Ito train robber)-
~When you say Hi, there! | suppose
you mean you're after a raise?" The
Robber-"Yep, an 1t also means you'd
better watch out, an be burned quick
about it."-Chicago Daily News.
Cassidy-"Shtop kickin' about yer
hard luck, man! Some mornin' yen
wake up an find yerseP famous"
Casey-"Faith, on bet We whin thot
mornin' comes twill be me luck to
oyerslape Philadelphia Press.
Father Ito the seven-year-old son be-
side him In thu dogfart, cutting the