The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-07-14

An Atch1son girl who refuses to nave
a Stepmother has had her way five
years.-Atchison Globe.
Il see that choice Bengal tigers have
been marked down to 81 900 each"
For goodness sake, don't let my wife
read that paragraph Here's my knife.
Cut it out. If those tigers are on the
bargain counter she'd want at least
two."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
'.Nell-..You're not really engaged to
Mr. BIank?" o1
Belief am, indeed. why?"
Neli-'Why, 1 took him to be mar
ried man"
Belle-lwell, that's what I've taken
him to be. ''-Philadelphia Ledger.
A Kansas court has just fined a man
$500 for calling his neighbor a Jack
ass" In Missouri it would have been
the jackass who would have received
damages News.
Teacher-Where was the Declaration of
Independence signed?
Tommy-At the bottom.-Chicago Daily
News.
Ethel-Do you really think the lieuten-
ant will propose to Beth?
Edith-Oh, yes; he has several medals
for bravery-Puck.
81 told papa your poems were the chill
dren of your brain"
what did he say?'
said they were bad enough to put in the
reform school. Judge.
weren't some of those transactions by
~ni Nnt S3 for pIneteu answered Senator sor
ghum. ''They were quite the usual thing.
Washington Star.
Value of His Opinfon-"Do you think it's
going to rain?' She asked.
"Oh. I'm sure it's not, she replied
nounced with decision.-Ch Evening
Post.
I'm afraid, dear said the fair girl.
that it is my half million that draws your
you wrong me, Afyrtilia,' said the i'm
passioned youth. You might scale it down
femme see-say 10 per cent, and it would
not shake any eonstancy in the least. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
ROYAL Adviser-"The world expects, your
majesty, that you viii infiict some upn-
ishment upon the assasslns that killed
your malesty's royal pTedecesfso Shan nm
ish them by letting them live to suffer the
remorse that follows the commission Of a
crime. Chicago Tribune
..Blinls has sued US for libel" announced
the assistant editor of the sensational pa
The managing editors face frightened
''Tell him." he said, that # he will put
damages and charge them up to the adver-
Using ount"-Ghicago Post.
II did not know that had so many close
friends said the Sporter turned down in
his tenth attempt to borrow $o-Yale Rec
ord
q tell you."". said the patriotic citizen;
dav of the nation than that sublime
uhrase: One country and one flag.
eft is fine agreed the tinid citizen.
zine? Why, man, it can't be improved
n think" ventrred the timid man. II
think. perhaps, it would appear to me more
if II were One country, one flag and one
firecracker.' Judge.
Mrs Jones-Your nephew, Mr.. Bounder,
is a bad man. I'm afraid.
Mrs Brown-Not at all; heS little
eccentric I'll admit. but that's nothing
He is always doing the queerest things.
He told my husband that ne IS riding on
the water cart just now Did you ever2
Mrs Jones-Oh. well. he won't drink any
of tfe wafer SO il will be all right, l sup
pose-Beston Transcript
sIm glad to see that you respect your
pareufss Elmer" said the minister
i've Just got to do it., replied the little
fellow Why either one of them could
lick me with one hand Chicago News.
ANYHOW. the men that killed servia's
king ard established Peter Karageorgc-
WITCH
..Le ui finish! was just going to say