Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-07-28
CHAPTER XVIII

CHAPTER XVIII.
doubt whether, if | tried. | could
describe at length the weeks and months
that followed. Like one who was dead.
but possessing still the power of motion.
| pursued my lonely way. All through
the first night of my departure | walked
till the first faint streak of light herald
ed the coming day. Unjust have walked
fast and mechanically in direction in
which l should not be recognized. 1t
suited me that had reached place /
did not know. An humble wayside inn
was near; l entered it and asked for a
room. There | remained during the day,
and when night fell | went out again. and
walked on and on, through fields and vii
lagos, taking any track that promised to
lead me farther and farther away from
familiar scenes. | must have adopted
some method of cunning concealment that
no one aceosted me and inquired whittier
l was going. When day dawned | was
in a wood, and there l lay unobserved
At night again l continued my fight, and
so, day after day, night after night pass
ed, until l felt that | was iost-and safe
l kept no count of the days, and only
knew when it was Sunday by the ringing
of the church bells. | entered no church;
l did not pray; stroye not to think; all
that l wished was that time would pass
swiftly. / spoke to no man unless
was spoken to; l never laid my hand
with tenderness upon the form of child
or animal. My heart was turning into
stone, and set myself steadfastly to the
task of banishing from my mind ever
gentle sentiment that strove to find lodg-
ment there. OF my wife and daughter
would not think. There was between
them and me a barrier which | believed
to ne eternal. l never looked at news
paper or printed page; the worlds do
ings interested me no longer.
One Sabbath l was sitting in church.
yard; l was tired and faint, and my feet
were blistered with walking over rough
roads. 1t belonged to my mood to choose
ever the stony paths.
They were singing in the church-a
quaint old church covered with ivy. Worn
with fatigue. my eyelids closed, and
light slumber overlook me. 1t could
have lasted but short time for when
| opened my eyes l heard the singing
still within the church What specially
aroused me was the voive of one of the
singers. My wife had just such voice;
its note of familiar sweetness startled
me. l listened in wonder. The singing
ceased, and soon afterward the congrega-
ton issued from the church. | scanned
them eagerly as they came forth; for
brief space my sterner spirit did not as
sert itself.
l had no fear that / should be recog-
nized. supposing that the voice which had
impressed me was that of my wife. |
had seen my face and form occasionally
in clear water when | stopped TO drink,
and l knew that l had grown out of all
likeness to myself. From the night /
left my home | had not shaved; my mat
ted hair, my wild eyes. my ragged gar
ments placed me beyond the pale Of rec
ignition. So, without fear. l gazed at
the faces of the worshipers. My wife
was not among them. The church was
emptied of the throng, and | was, |
thought, alone again Ii tSe churchyard.
But / was mistaken. A naalI Sts,v,d by
my side. lie was of middle age; his face
was benignant. his voice was gentle. AS
he moved and spoke ne seemed 70 be at
tended by the spirit of charity.
You seem in trouble" he said. Can
help you in any wayG"
rose. cast wrathful glance at him,
and walked away from him. ] did not
turn to see, but l knew that he was
looking after me.
Near the churchyard was lightly tim
bered wood. Thither l wandered. encom-
passed by silence. and threw myself upon
the groSna at the foot of tree. Taking
some bread from my pocket. l ate it to
keep life within me,
Ordinarily I xx-NS a,setaSfaT nv
stranger. my chief anxiety was to ay
from the neighborhood; but something
chained me 10 tkis spot. II may have
been the voice singing in the church; il
may have been the manifest Kindness Of
the stranger who had accosted me- When
evening came | was still there.
| was not ar so great 4 distance from
the church that l could not hear the
singing az the evening service; true. 1t
came family TO my ears. but my senses
were abnormally sharpened. Amid all
the VOICES detected that which had stir
red me in the morning. and was glad
when heard il and sorry when il ceas-
ed They were the first humanixing sen
Sations | had experienced for many
months The service GUIDED. and all was
again silent. 1t was a fine evening. and
resolved 10 pass the night in the wood.
and recommence my wsnderings in the
early morning. l reckoned upon COM
plete solitude. but it was not TO be mine
Three persons strolled in the direction
Of the spot upon which l was lying. and
stopped within a short distance OF me-
A clump Of trees and the gathering dark
mesa concealed me from their observation