Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-07-18

Is juiS the cracked wheat. Janes
Il dun know. mum. l amt looked at
if or fetched it; an if it's cracked it
WIZ cracked afore l come here New
York Observer.
Children" said the teacher what
lesson do we learn from the life OF
Washington" THAT 1t Is better to he
the Father of His Country than the
father of snuh-nosed boy
Doctor" said the young student. lis
scarlet fever very contagious?s Not
very, my boy. But you can increase
your fee by giving medicine to every
one in the family where it occurs,
Borem stopping acquaintancelI
say, old man, let me give you point
er. l. Knowem breaking away
Don't want it-no place to keep dog
don't like dogs, anyway. Chicago
News.
Larry-Phwas thor liver inything my
more wonderful thon tn camel going
tro tn eye av tn nadle2 Denny Yis.
Ofve sane me 200-pound ould woman
go tro me visit pocket, bedad - Chicago
News
Count Swtzer-Waiter. I can't eat
that chicken. Where did you get it-at
had dat chicken in stock long befo'
rummage sales war ever invented
Judge
Jimmy-Does your mother tell your
father when you do something badl
Johnny Yes; but ii isn't TO please him;
it's only because there's no one else
around to tell it to- Boston Tran
! script
Pat dust landed. ana seeing street
surveyors at work)-I say, Moike,
phwat be thin men dom? Mike-Oi
| dunno, Pat; but OF guess they do be
| layin' wires fer tn wireless telegraph
Judge.
! Now, @ehnny,' said the teacher, who
had been describing a warship 20 the
| class, how is the deck diyldcdY "A
deck is divided" replied the bright boy.
into spades, hearts, diamonds, and
clubs "-Philadelphia Press.
Belated kindness: Mr. Smith Qn
street car)-Madam, take my seat
! Mrs. Jones twho has been standing tif-
teen minutes)--No. thanks I get Off at
the next corner. Mr.. Smith-fhats all
right. So do Chicago Journal.
Our honeymoon has been perfect,
hasn't 1t, dear?" YES. Clarence"
And you have nothing to regretT
Not exactly, dear Only | was just
thinking that it wouldn't he a novelty
next time Cleveland Plain Dealer,
Hint for the housewife To make
an automobile salad Take n pneuma-
tic tire, squeeze out the wind wipe
dry. run II through the mcat-chopper.
dressing oil of gasoline, sand, and
tran-oil and garnish with accident
policies Judge
Proved: Mother-"The whipping you
had yesterday does not seem to have
smproved YOU, Your behavior has
been even worse to-day" Willie
That's what / wanted to prove You
| said | was as had as | possibly could
bc yesterday | knew you were
wrong "-Tit-Bits
Physician The truth con no longcT
be hidden, madam. / am obliged 10
tell you that your little son ls-er---
weak minded that ls--well, It must
be said he is m IDIOT" Mrs Highup
How fortunate it Is that we are
rich! No one will ever notice IT,
New York Weekly.
Asks pardon: Warden-"IIe was the
coolest and most thoughtful convict
that ever broke Jail" Jeukins-"That
soY Wnrden-"Yes. He left behind
! him note TO the governor OF the
State beginning: I hope you win par
don me for the liberty I'm taking"
Philadelphia Public Ledger
Thrilling moments: Johnnie called
/ the mother. Il want you TO 20 20 the
store for me "Wait n second nav"
replied the youth who was absorbed
! in a five-cent volume; "Pepperhole Pete
has thirty seven InJuns to XIII, an i'm
| only take him about two minutes -
! Columbus (Ohiol State Journal.
| The dentist was kind did the den
list hurt you much, Elsie?" asked her
mother, solicitiously. yes. mamma"
replied the small girl; but he was
| very nice every time he did" Very
nice? How do you mean?" "Why, Ire
always said Ouch" before could ~.
| Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Anxious Wife What do you think
of my husbands case? Is it serious?
! Physician On, he'll pull through all
| right. What be needs is rest, so 4
have prescribed an opiate. Anxious
| Wife-How often shall l give it 10
him1 Physician Don't give 1t to him
at all; take II yourself Chicago News
Angry voice from top Of stairway
-"Nerena, what did you let him in
| for? You know we don't allow can
vassers here" Strange voice Gin the
hallway belowJ--"I am getting names
for the bluebook, ma'am." Changed