The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-02-25

smokes uuu SulOhcS uuu Stays oll. uilu
by ind by be says:
"Hans, maybe I do some awful
things last night, und / vhas feeling
bad about it."
do you rob Somepody" I says.
mo, not dot. | used to hat Il brud
der-in-law named Carl He vhas fine
man. und he reads und thinks great
deal. He don't pellet he shall go to
heaven when he dies. but dot he vhill
turn into some animal und stay on
earth. | laugh at him many times. but
he was VERY serious. Maybe you re-
member dot he dies last spring? He
shumps off street car und falls on his
head und breaks his neck. You could
take his face und turn it clear around
und make him look backwards
eyes; hear about it,
"Vhell, can't say if he turns into
some animal. but all der time l vhas
looking out for him. Maybe he yhas
horse or dog or u cat. Last night |
comes home late und finds dog in my
westibule. Maybe haf too much beer
und yhaS mad. Ash soon ash | see dot
dog l shump On him und kick him
down der steps. und no sooner tell my
wife about it dan she tarows oop her
arms und cried out:
''Oh. cruel man. What haf you done:
Dot dog vhas my poor bruddcr Carl
come to us for food und lodgings.
81 run out und whistle und Call md
look all around but der dog can't be
found. He vhas afraid kick him some
more. Hans, do you pellet dot vhas my
brudder-in-la
81 can't say. but if vhas him bite
you when you Aick.'
Il wish he had. l wish vhas too
drunk to kick him. Poor Carl. He
comes home for supper und bed, und
he meets NIT kicks und cuss words. |
don't pelief | can efrer forgive mvSelf.'
Mr.. Eoglestein turns his head ,ay
und sheds tears, but can't say not
tirgs &c comfort him. In der first place
l vhas too busy nit dot half sole. und
in der next maype dot dog yhaS some
Codv else's hrudder-n-laW und goes by
der wrong house. Nopody speaks for
ten minutes, und den Mr. Voglestein
wipes AWAY his tears und says:
Hans, | don't know if l vhas
joker, but tell you how she vhas. I
vhas going along der street der oddcr
day, und I meets man nit two watch
chains on his west. l stop him and
says:
"'Vhill you please be so kind asl. to
tell me What time it vbas by Your right
band watch:
81 SHALL he says, und he pulls out
watch, und it vhas ten minutes to 10.
Den says:
"'Und now please tell me What tine
it vhas by your left hand watch
"'Certainly,' he says. und he pulls out
dot watch und says it vhas ten minutes
after TO-
"'How vhas dot you vhas twenty
minutes different between your two
watches| says.
"'Oh. dot vhas der time tooken up in
answering fool questions he laughs as
he goes on. Now, Hans, vhas derc
Gcme joke in dot?
II pellet So" says.
'Und how vhas it?'
II can't tell
1T vhas so NIT me. say dot I haf a
good joke on der two chain man. und
my wife says he knocks INC out. like
to find somepody to tell me. Did you
hear about me und der street car con-
ductor"
Il don't pellet So"
"Vhell, | make complaint against him
at headquarters. l take 4 street car
der odder day to go to Greenfield. |
don't know where it is, und tell der
conductor to let me off. Dot car goes
on und on. und it vhas one hour pefore
I says:
Don't we come to Greenfield yet:
"'Ehy. man. we yhas six miles Dt
yond it, he says
but l wanted to get off at Green
field.
You must be miStook. Greenfield
vhaS al right III der summer. but now
dot it vhas winter you want to get OF
at Snow Hill
''Und dot vhas not all. Hans FhcH
goes to get Off der car. be calls out.
Step livelyr Dot makes me fall down.
und he calls out. Get GGp lively. | @i!s
oop u?d starts avhay. rud ne shouts
after me. Linn lively" und culrry-
poGy laughs ind makes mo feel bad. |
make complaint und haf MIN bounced
out. Il vhas Ill right to he lively. but
you must not be too lively. What did
YOU say. HanS:''
don't say nottin:-s. una While l
vhaS saying if md keeping still Mr..
T0g,cStpin falls asleep md don't wake
oon till al der beer yhas vanished und
some ice water yhas in der pail.
NJ. QUAD.