Hattiesburg daily progress. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 18??-1909, 1903-11-18
THE MAN WITH THE SCISSORS.

Stray Flashes of Wisdom Sorted
from the 3ulky PencilingS Of
Contemporaries.
John H. Clarke, democratic candl-
date for United States senator in Ohio,
makes affidavit that his campaign has
cost him s., 1876. Some people are in
clinsd to think he paid more than 1t
was worth. indianapolis News.
The latest crank TO attempt the
white house thinks be is pursued by
flying machines, and would be safe
from tl EN- under President Roose-
yelt's wing. If he had studied the
character Of the president he would
know that If any practicable flying
machine were lowering around the
neiahborhod, Mr.. Roosevelt would be
in it.-New York News.
In the closing days Of the Massa-
chusetts campaign Senator Hoar made
a speech declaring the democrats re-
sponsible for the civil war. The SEN
ator is bound to keep abreast with
new issues. Washington Post
1t is a significant fact that with
the phenomenal increase in the price
of coffins has come a marked increase
of mortality among local Chinese.
The natives just simply cannot afford
to die at the present undertaking
rates, and that's all there is to it
Shanghai Times.
We desire to serve notice on Presi-
dent Roosevelt that no old college
"chump" Of his who halls from Bos-
ton and parts his hair in the middle
can deliver the goods out west at the
head of the national committee or
even as its secretary. Minneapolis
Tribune.
When the gay Macedonian shall
read of the Wentz abduction case IN
West Virginia will give a further
spur to the movement of immigrants
toward the land Of the free and the
home of the brave. They will find
occupation ready for them in one of
their native industries. - Phitadel-
phia. Record.
Paying ele, tion bets by rolling
wheelbarrows is nothing to the suffer.
ing felt by the losing candidate who
mortgaged the salary of the office he
expected to get.-Baltimore Herald
The congressman who are afraid to
step on the handsome rugs in the
speak s lobby need have no fears so
long as they keep their feet off the
constitution and their hands off the
surplus. New York World.
Grover Cleveland's remark, after
surveying the November election re-
suits, that they cannot fail to afford |
old fashioned democrats the sincerest |
gratificatoin as indicating long step |
taken in the direction of sane dem
ocracy, Looks pregnant with meaning. |
Tom johnson will please note and di
gest. Boston Herald.
Bishop Potter objects TO elevators |
and other modern coDveniences. be- |
cause he thinks they tend to make
young men lazy. 1T might be bet
ter" he says, "if we. like those of
other generations, had to climb up |
and down stairs But really there
is no law forbidding Bishop Potter to
take the staircase instead of the ele-
vator, if he likes. Boston Globe.
John Sharp Williams of Mississippi |
has not the peculiarities of G. Fred
OF Massachusetts, tor which we are
thankful. - Richmond Times Dis
patch.
Edward VII. returned King Peters
congratulations on his birthday,
with regret that we have found
them unavailable. Atlanta Journ-
al.
Chicago undertook to put her
grafters" in Jail, and now finds her
Jail overcrowded. She would either
build bigger Jail or diminish her
crop of graftsrs. New York World.
We fail to see why the persons who
bought counterfeit lottery tickets
aren't just as we'll off as those who
got the genuine. Detroit News.
Now that Schwab and Morgan have
done up so many of the trusts, the
trust busters can resume
operations in their chosen field with a
clear conscience. - Florida Times.
Union.