davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
TOO FUNNY FOR J. BULL.
London Paper Comments on Proposed
Anttk issing Law.

Nothing Is stranger than tho ahso-
lutte lack of ID sense of humor so often
displayed by our transatlantic friends
in their conCuct Of social affairs. Gen
orally speaking, one would describe
Americans as droll folk, yet how could
a nation wnich has produced Artemus
Ward and the thousands of stories
which we so literally draw upon for
our comic journals seriously accept
the suggestion that kissing shall be
made Illegal except between people
who possess certificates that they are
free from disease of any kindf Imag-
Inc the passionate lover, who has Just
..rned that SHE loves him. being re-
pulsed because he cannot produce the
necessary passport to osculations
How, one wonders, is 1t to be made
patent to all and sundry that any one
is a kissable subject. Are the certi'
ned ones to wear a badge, or must
they shave of an eyebrow or other
wise distinguish themselves from
their hapless uncertified brothers and
sisters?-London Lady's Pictorial.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
WHY IT SUCCEEDS.
BECAUSE IT'S FOR ONE THING
ONLY, AND PADUCAH IS
LEARNING THIS.

Nothing can be good foreverythins!
Doing one thing we'll brings success
Doan's Kidney Pills do one thing
suly.
They're foi sick kidneyh
They cure backache, every kidney
Ill.
Here is Pa iuoah evidence to prove
IL.
J. A. Houasr Of t42l South Ninth
street, carpenter, says: II have tsen
subject to kidney complaint all my
life; not constantly or seriously. but
every now and then--sometimes with
out warnin2-I had attacks, some Of
which laid me mp. noticed that the
contraction of cold always affected
my kidneys, and when in this ,ondi-
ton, in addition to backachos there
was trouble with the kidney secre-
tions. Like / had tried mere than
one preparation, I got Doan Kidney
Pills at Dubois & Co.'S drug store and
took . course Of the treatment. The
last attack disappeared. so pleased
was with ths results that l gave
Doan's Kidney Pills to child Of rhine
annoyed with weak kidneys. The re-
suits obtained stamp DOan's Kidney
Pills ~ being up to representations. "
For sale by all dealers. Price 80
cents. Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo,
N. Y, sole agents for the United
States.
| Remember the name Doan Sand
take no substitute.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
STILL ON The BENCH.
DAN O'CONNOR, 1T Is REPORT
ED, WILL NOT PLAY UN-
DER GAGE.

There is . rumor in baseball circles
to the effect that Dan O'Connor. Padu
cabs fast third basemsn, will play nc
more under the present management.
A member OF the ASSOCIATION was seen
relative to the report but nothing def
mite was given out. "Mr. O'Connor
is on the bench at present." was the
explanation, and when the team re-
turns home wiz go back to work, l
suppose.
O'Connor, it is said, was playing for
a man Off thirG base when Manager
Gage went out and told him how to
play his position and O'Coanor re
piled that he knew his business and
then Gage is alleged to have placed
him on the bench, and in preference
to this OConnor came home.
Gage has made a good manager; but
it is said has been little too strict
with some OF the boys
1t is reported that Pitcher Best will
be made manager to succeed Gage
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
TURTLE AND sULLFRoo MEET.



nemberlne That II Could Jump.
In the pool of the bullfrogs. smaller
turtles and alligatoe. at the Aqua,
rum, thers is a log six or eight feet
long that the turtles like TO climb on.
A bullfrog hoped on one end OF this
log the other day Just as a turtle
climbed up on the other end: and,
end at which II had mounted II, the
two soon met, face to face. at the cen
ter. and then they halted and settled
down and looked az each other.
There wasn't room for them to pass
on the log, and neither OF them show
ed any disposition to turn around and
go back and let the other go on, nor
did either OF them show any DISPOSE
ton 10 fight and put the other of.
They just sat there. facing each other
on the log.
They might have been sitting there
until now II II had not finally come
back to the bullfrog that he could
jump. when this occurred 10 II the
bullfrog leapod into the air ard sailed
clear over the turtle and landed on the
log beyond; and so the problem was
solved. and the turtle and the bullfrog
could each proceed on its way without
scrapping and with all due dignity.
And the turtle, its path now unob-
structed. started up at once. and pro-
ceeded placidly on its way along the
log. but the bullfrog. when 1t had land.
ed. moved by curiosity or some other
feeling or instinct, turned around on
the log. and sat there. watching the
turtle, TO see how the Jump had struck
II. and what tho turtle was going 70
do.--New York Sun.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
Kentucky Distillers Find it
Cheap to Export Whiskey.
About 10000 Barrels to Be Sent
Away This Fail From
Kentucky.
ABOUT $3.50 A BARREL SAVED

Kentucky distillers are making pre-.
parations for the expectation Of large
amount of whiskey during this fall.
From present indications about 30, 00C
barrels will be sent to Hamburg and
Bremen for storage purposes during
September and October.
This is not whiskey which is being
forced out of bond, but is principally
of the crop Of 1908.
This amount Of whiskey will be the
largest expectation since 1897, when
an immense amount of whiskey was
about to be forced out of bond. AT
that time the distillers, rather than
pay the tax when prices were de-
pressed, sent shipload after shiplosd
TO the big warehouses in Hamburg
auo Bremen. At this time there Il
no deprcssion in the market, and the
expectation is to be made largely on
account of the lower storage charges
in Europe.
Distillers have found that it coat,
less to send whiskey to Bremen and
Hamburg, and ship IL from there to
San Francisco, by way OF Cape Horn,
than it costs TO ship 1t from Louisville
to San Francisco by rail. The differ
ence in favor of this roundabout way
amounts to about 90. so per barrel
. This is the first time in the history
of Kentu ky that any large amount of
young whiskey WAS exported and ma
tured in Europe. Heretofore whiskey
has only been exported when about to
be forced out OF bond The time for
which it is stored in Europe Is not in
cluded in the bonded period, and a
barrel of whiskey may be stored in a
bonded warehouse in this city, then
shipped TO a bonded warehouse in
Europe and remain there for any
length Of time, and then be brought
back hero and finish out the eight year
bonded period.
Distillers as rule do not like. to
store their whiskey in Hamburg or
Bremen, as the facilities there are not
equal to most Of tine warehouses in
this country. Since 1897. when the
expectation OF whisey in large quaint
ties began. the warehouse in Europe
have been greatly improved, and it is
now claimed that whiskey can Pc ma
tured as rapidly and as we'll in Ger
many as in Kentucky. The matter
will be- given practical test in the
expectations 10 be made this fall
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
FIGURES CALL roa LIQUOR.
OF Positive Necessity to statesmsn
DEALING With Finance,

In the British parliament the annual
speech of the chancellor Of the sx-
chequer explaining how the revenues
are TO be raised during the ensuing
year is very great event. Mr.. Rit-
chies' budget speech was made this
year on April 49, Figures are as dry
speaking as reading, and a cup OF
soothing liquid for the chancellor OF
the exchequer Is almost an Inevitable
accessory TO his budget statement. IL
was In his famous budget speeches dur
Ing 1896 that Gladstone introduced
a pomatum poN of egg and sherry
which is now historic. Disraeli usual
" primed himself for big speech with
pint of port, but called brandy and
water 10 his aid for budget nights
This also was lord Randolph
Churchilrs oratorical pick-me-up.
Goschen sustained the best traditions
Of the old school of statesmen and his
own voice with tumbler OF port In
shifting papers In his budget Of 1890
no upset the vine over the table. inc
shortest budget speech on record was
that OF Ward Hunt. whose limpid pow
ers we're reflected in the soda itef
which no slipped. "Ah," said Bismarck
English statesmen are not what they
were since they no longer have the
heads for wine. They are too eau
tious: no ionxer make bold strokes.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
WATCH FOR A CHILL.

However slight at this time of the
year and in this climate, it is the fore
runner of malaria. A disposition to
yawn and an all.tired-out feeling even
comes before the chill. Herbine, by
its prompt stimulative action on the
liver, drives the malsrial germs out
of the system, purified the blood,
tones up the system and restores
health. 500 ct Dubois, Kolb & 20.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
REPUBLICAN STATE TICKET.

REPUBLICAN, STATE TICKET.
For governor--Col. Morris B. Bel
KNAPP OF Louisville,
For lieutenant gove.rnor-J. B. Will
holt of Boyd county.
For tressurer-John A. Black OF
Barbourville.
For auditor-George W. Welsh of
Danville.
For attorney general-Judge ". NJ.
Beckner of Winchester.
For secretary OF state--J. @. Speigi't
Of Graves county.
For superintendent of schools-Liv-
ingston Mccartney of Henderson.
For commissioners of agriculture
George Baker OF Muhlenberg county.
For clerk of court of appeals-J.
A. Newman of Monroe county.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
Claims Part Of Scotch Estate.

Claiming descent from the duke Of
Sutherland OF three generations ago,
Mrs. Edmund d. Hennessey. wife OF q
lawyer living in Brooklyn. is planning
a fight for part OF the estates OF the
dukedom OF Sutherland in Scotland.
MY great grandmother was Mary
Sutherland. granddaughter OF Lord
Rotsay Duffus. and niece OF the then
duke OF Sutherland" says Mrs. Hen
Messy. she married Michael
Goeghan. an Irish physician. with
whom she came 20 Now York to live.
Later the family went West"
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
THE WEATHER.
Showers tonight. Friday rain.
HOW THEY GET JURIES.

The Republican and Independent
press Of Kentucky is not alone in de-
nouncing the methods employed by
the Democratic political courts in Sc
curing the juries in the Goebel con-
spiraoy cases.
The Salt Lake City Tribune is equal
" disg listed and says:
"The way that juries are made CT
in Kentucky in the trial OF Republic
cans accused of completely in the as
sassinat,on of Goebel was clearly
shown in the court at Georgetown OF
Thursday. The case was against Ca
LIB Powers. and his counsel ohalleng
cd the jury panel for political bias, al
affidavit showing that Of the panel o
ninety five ninety three were Demo
crats; the two Republicans could b.
challenged of arbitrarily: and the pu
pose evidently was to pack the jur,
with Democrats. and work on thei
party prejuoioes, as has been 80 uni
versally done in these trials. Tit
Judge, however. was true to his part.
", and overruled the challenge OF
=, -ound that political utilization
r- s6otory disqualification; 81
n .e jury to be packed agains
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13

the defendant, and indeed makes him
self . party to the packing.
And still K Kentucky Democrats pro-
fess to wonder at and resent the obi
um cast upon Kentucky courts in all
this business, for their steady parts
anship and subservienoe to the Demo
cratic machine, which runs and rules
the state in all its departments of gov
ernmeut."
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
WORKMAN KILLED
BY LIGHTNING.

Hopk neville, KY, Aug. 13.--Hamp-
ton Wright, colored, an employe of
Robert Russell & Co., who are grad
ing for the Tennessee Central road,
was struck by lightning and instantly
killed. Wright was working on the
dump, and another negro driving a
wagon, wac within ten feet Of him
when the bolt struck, but escaped in
jury.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
Secretary Hughes Doing a Good
Work Here.
Many Subscriptions Being Given In
Paducah For the Exhibit
Association.
NAME A FINANCE COMMITTEE

Mr.. II. L. Hughes, Of Louisville,
secretary of the Kentucky Exhibit
Association, is much encouraged over
the success he has had thus far in so.
Letting subscriptions for the associs.
tons laudable work.
He yesterday was taken around by
Messrs. George @. Thompson. Joseph
l.. Friedman, Gus G.. Singleton and
W. p. Hummel and today by Score.
tary Dams, of the Commercial club
and Mr. Robert l.. Reeves.
Mr.. Hughes may be unable to see in
person all the people in Paducah like.
ly to contribute 20 the fund and will
no doubt before he leaves for Mayfeld
tomorrow appoint finance sommitte,
whose duty it will be to take up the
work and raise additional subscrip.
tions. 1t is thought that at least
81, 900 should be secured here. This
is the quota of taxes that would have
come from Paducah on the proposed
500, 900 appropriation had the legis-
lature made it.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
DAILY THOUGHT.

The college graduate assumes the
airs of one to whom is committed the
wisdom of the ages, while the great
man of science, the Columbus Of some
great continent Of investigation is
simple and humble. William George
Jordan.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
THURSDAY. AUGUST 10, 1908.
CIRCULATION STATEMENT.
DAILY AVERAGE, 7II4.

DAILY AVERAGE, 2II4.
The average for last July was 1900.
This is an increase of 400 copies.
Personally appeared before me this
day E. ]. Paxton, general manager of
The Sun, who affirms that the above
statement of the circulation of The
Sun for the month of July, 1908, is true
to the best of his knowledge and belief.
PETER PURYEAR,
Notary Public McCracken County.
Aug. ), 1908.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13

A New York man celebrated the
fact that his wife was dead by big
blowout attended by 500 friends. It's
ten to one that he's not much gladder
than she Is.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13

Six men were poisoned at Frankfort
by drinking milk. No wonder. They
ought not to have surprised their
stomachs in such a manner.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
COUNTY.

For representstive-Earl NJ. Hazen,
paducah.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13

Mr.. Charles johnson. the well
known river engineer, and . brother
of Councilman Mike johnson. is at
home to recover from painful inju-
ry to his right foot, sustained by
dropping a heavy piece of iron on 1t.
He is unable to work and walks only
with crutch. He is engineer on the
Pittsburg towboat Harry Brown, now
laying up at Louisville.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13

Emierants from Ulster.
Ulster has sent out / ,JS5,590 emf
grants during the last fifty years.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-08-13
TWO HURT.
ENGINEER CHARLES JOHNSON
DISABLED BY MASHED FOOT.

Mr.. Sam Miles was painfully Get on
the head yesterday afternoon by one
of the glass insulators used by tele-
phone companies falling from pole
onto his head while he was bach Of
Justice Young's Office looking through
the window at the crowd attending an
inquest. 1t seems some work WAS be-
ing done on building when the heavy
piece Of glass dropped.
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05
What a True schn1n.1.

Inc scholar in the true sense is +bo
man or woman for whom tbe schools
nave done their best. The scboIar
knows some one thing thorouqbIv ond
can carry his knowledge into action
With this lie must have such knowl
edge of related subjects and of human
llfe as will throw this special knowI-
cage INTO proper perspective. ANYTHING
less than this is not scholarship. Tho
man with knowledge and no persnac-
i've is a crank, disturber of the peacn
VINO needs a guardian to make his
knowledge useful. The man who has
common sense, but no special trainino
may be fair citizen, but he can evar+
niue influence that makes for prog-
ress' There may be a wisdom NOT of
DOCKS, but it can be won by no easy
process. To gain wisdom or skill in
school or out. is education. To do any
thlng well requires special KNOWLEDGE
ana this is scholarship, whether at.
tanned in the university or in the school
OF life. 1t is the man who knows that
nas the right to speak.-President Da- |
'ld Starr Jordan in Atlantic.
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05
ZadOc L. BItIer Passes AWAY

Zadoc L. Butlt 4e of the old land.
marks of Dover, died at his home ON
New street early Saturday morning Of
last week. aged 70 years. He has been
an invalid for many months, having
suffered paralysis, which was the cause
OF his death. The deceased has lived
In Dover nearly all his 11fe and was a
harness maker by trade. He was a
staunch Democrat and has held the
Office OF coroner and other minor
offices. He was a member of Armorv
Church and took an active interest in
the church work. A wife, two ,daugh-
ters and two sons survive him. The
funeral was held Monday afternoon
and interment was made at Lakeside
Cemetery.
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05
Epitaph Too Suggestive

A man whose cheerful occupation is
tnat OF making tombstones is telling
MS friends about a woman who Wis.
Iteu his place last week and said she
wanted nice tombstone put over her
husbands grave, with some short sim.
pie inscription on it.
he asked how she would like the
word "Resurgam." She inquired as to
us meaning, and when he translated if
aS Shall rise again." she said. in a
panic NO. no. mister; make it Rest
In Peace? New York Press.
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05
Express Company Increases Rates

Inc Adams Express Company in.
creased It's rates July 1st and the peo.
PIE who patroni~e this company have
leiI very keenly the increase of the
tarih' Formerly packages weighing /
: ana 3 pounds could be sent to PbiIo,
kelphia for 25 cents. The limit now
LOT s % cents IS pound. Two, three or
lour 10 pounds, the charge is 30 cents
lhe Old rate, 4 and pounds 30 cents
Is no" . and : pounds 35 cents; old
rate . to 20 pounds 35 cents. new 7 70
-, 80 cents. The increase of rates TO
other points is proportionate.
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05

Wn1, What's the use of CROWN up9
iou can't ride the COW.
An "A the rabbits an the pig
To-, Ion like you cause you're bio,
l m comfortubIest now.
traps l am goose;
l oont want to be no older
What's the use?
WI WHAT'S the use O. CROWN upq
VoD Wnen yer growed, why, every dav
I,- rou JUST have to be one thing
IL m pirate, er king,
4, Er a cowboy-I can play
mat I'm anything choose
l uont want to be no older
What's the use?
burgess johnson in st. Nicholas
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05
A Hard Road

Inc way of the transgressor is
nard'" quoted the earnest citizen.
1t is unquestionably," answered
Senator Sorghum. The wav neonle
nave to employ lawyers and stand in
Vestlgations is calculated to cut down
profits Observation-Disclosures Star.
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05
WHAT'S THE USE .

WHAT'S the use O. CROWN upq
lou can't paddle with your too.
IN, IN a puddle; you can't veil
r, w hen you're feelin' extra well.
why every fello knows
a grown-up can't let loose
L don't want to be no older
What's the use?
what's WI the use O. CROWN upq
When I'm big 1 don't suppose
E1plorin' would be right
L a nelghbOr's field at night
l " won't like to get my clos
All watermelon juice.
l don't want to be no older
What's the use?
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05

Fourth Assistant Postmaster Gener
al brlstow has been to Oyster Bav to
see tne President. It is safe to assume
tnat Mr.. Bristow told Mr.. RooseveIt
'nat the stories of graft" in the Post.
once Department were not all ...bot
air. W al Ho'
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05
TIES HERSELF TO A RUNAWAY HORSE.
MILFORD MilkwOman Dragged For Nearly a
half Mile By the Halter Rope.

Mrs. James W. Darby, of near Mil.
lord, Is recovering from the effects OF
an accident which imperiled her life a
Ie" days ago. She had gone into the
pasture to milk some COWS, and upon
returning with her two pailsful, she
stopped to catch horse that she might
lead the animal at the some time. She
'ieu one end of the horses rope about
her waist. The horse walked quietly
along until the woman spilled pail
oi milk. This caused the animal to
iunge and dash away. dragging the
" woman nearly half a mile, to Slaughter
beach, bruising and cutting her in
fearful way.
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05

of the danger of
consumption, but
warning is con-
stantly needed not
to neglect the first
symptoms of dis
eased lungs.
DIR. Pierce's Cold
en- Medical Discov-
cry cures obstinate
coughs, bronchitis,
bleeding lungs,
and other condi-
tions which, if
neglected or un-
skilfully treated,
find a fatal termi-
nation ! in consump-
ton. It is entire.
ly free from OPT
ates and narcotics.
"About three years
ago I was taken with
a bad cough, vomiting
and splitting blood,5
writes Mr.. d. ]. Rob
nson, Of Spring Car.
len, W. Va. / tried |
many remedies: moth
-
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05
THE BUGLER'S CHEST

tSair rs wei f,5ip expanded. He uses his lungs to
ort, orelL 7 fullest capacity. People in oTdin.
noyvar rly eo not use much over half their lung
power. The unused lung surface he's
Zones foI .Is inert, and offers prepared ground
t;n,, tGl tue "a, attack OF the germs of consunn-
tiOn' there is no need to warn -.
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05
Tint Wna Al

Maria" demanded Mr.. Billus in n
loud voice, what have Won been doinS
to my razor?"
Nothing" said Mrs. Billus. ''except
Inarpening it again after shaving FL
Hos tail with it. It's all right, isn't it?''
- lhh.iaa Go T-sI..-,-
Smyrna times., 1903-08-05

PRESIDENT Roosevelt may know more
L"t.i "ou' prairie-schooner than a6CSS.t,@ s66SS.,@.
pattle-ship, but he doubtless knowa 90 "
lians auon about the latter as Kaiser vii.
hot4, lam and he will cheerfully inspect onv
sorI 0as'ieShlps the illustrious Kaiser NAV
send to this country. may