davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

Rudyard Kipling has lost lawsuit.
which will doubtless occasion some
chortling over among the Goths and
shameless Huns.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

A New Jersey court has decided
that palmistry is - crafty science in
tended to deceive the simple-minded."
Perhaps that court thinks it has made
\ discovery.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

A Topeka minister recently prayed
that the mayor of that town might
either be converted or killed, as the
Lord might see At. 1t is always well
to give the Lord a choice in these
matters.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

The. governments snake expert gets
salary of only $50 . month. But
that's ~ much as anyone who deliber-
ately becomes a snake expert ought to
get.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

The committee reviewing the
United States statutes has decided
that the United States ":s." Yes, 10
and ever shall be.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

OIL has recently been discovered In
Dublin, ireland. II they md 1t In pay
Ing quantities Ireland may yet be
taken away from the Enslish.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

An Eastern contemporary remarks
that all this LESS" business began
with the "chainless bicycle" We may
be in error. but 1t seems to us the
bottomless pit was mentioned earlier.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

II the pituitary gland il responsible
for the physical growth of such giants
rs Abraham Lincoln, Winfield Scott
and Phillips Brooks, let 1t alone.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

Sir Charles Beresford says that bat
tleships are cheaper than war. DR..
Hale would add that the costs Of The
Hague court are cheaper than battle
ships.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

1till. when you come to use the
word "fewwhere" 1t do sn't look well
b print
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

The Baltimore burglar who tried
skirts as a disguise came near being
caught by the "pesky things" This
teaches that each sex should accept
philosophically the handicap of Its
own clothes.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

Keep in mind that most of the we'll
to-do people of to-day acquired their
property on the slow.but-sure
principle.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

Now that the danger is past, Il
should be noted that no one has called
him the Bowen Of contention.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

When all the novelists are in the
legislature and all the pugilists are on
the stage we may look for some siren
uous uplifting.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

A Mississippi Judge has instructed
the grand jury to indict people for
playing progressive euchre for prizes.
Perhaps he has nice. dattering pic
ture of himself that he would like to
have published.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21
New Considerations.

New Considerations.
80 you are not concerning your.
self about the ratio between gold and
silver?"
"No," answered the rural voter;
what I want to see now 10 some def
mite and satisfactory relationship be-
tween a i've dollar bill and q ton Of
coal. or two bits and pound Of
beef"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

A man Is known by the company h
keeps: . woman by tho company She
keeps out.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

Wireless telegraphy seems assured,
but wireless politics Is As much Of a
dream Is ever.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

Later on Miss Thaw may wish she
had minded mamma, but girls will be
girls. and there Is no use talking to
them.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

The cost of the coal strike hearing
10 estimated At 375O.000. And the
public will pay that. too.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

Now that use has been found fol
the pituitary body there is renewed
hope for the vermiform appendix.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

Secretary Cortelyou asks only .
triae of s7.o00,000 for his new depart
ment building. Let him have It.
What's ! dot like this for such rich
nation?
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

A poet named vrchlichy has been
elected q member Of the Austrian
house Of peers. II his poetry is any
thing like his name he must belong to
the Browning school.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

For the best way to manage chill
dren. consult bachelors and womer
without any.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21
NothIn' oeIn'.

The Lady-Don't you ever get tired
doing nothing!
Willy William-Lidy. believe me. !
git 10 tired dom nothin' that can't
do nothin' else!
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21
A ProposaIs

A ProposaI7
yes; papa's been specializing rath.
err wildly lately" said Miss Nuritch.
but I don't care what he does with
his money. I've got resources of my
own, you know"
"Yesi" replied Mr.. Wood Marrier.
Don't you think, Maggie-er. that il
Miss Muritch, that you had better
husband your resources?"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

cough cure.-J. W. OBRInN. 322 Thlsl AvA
Il, Minneapolis Niau-. Jan. 4 loo2
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21
Prses Not Paeifylno.

Dolly sweetthynge-And will you
tell me solemnly. Harold. looking me
steadily in the eyes. that ever since
our engagement you have not kissed
another girl!
Harold ENTHUSIASTICALLY and
truly, Dolly. Why, haven't even
asked but four. and every one of them
happened to know of our engagement.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

Teacher-Why in your prayer, do you
only ask for your daily bread and not
enough for week? Peter-So we get 1t
fresh every day.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

The man who marries a widow car
never be the captain OF his own house
hold. Al the best he will only be sec
ond mate.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

Robbie. did you know was going to
marry your sister," 'Oh. yes. When did
you find 1t out?'
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

DTY1 PsrmaasntlyCurod. Nohts u nervousness astss
~ GAYS SIS Of Dr.. kliuss Great Nerve Restores.
nsa1 fsg FREE o8.00 trial bottle and trsst.ss.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

what is a Illuminating animal?" asked
the examination paper. Tommy knew.
In a fine. bold. convincing hand wrote
he: AN animal what chews Its cubs.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

Piker-What Is the difference between
4 great author and one who isn't? 6trik-
nature and the other for the merit in his
article.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

THOSE WHO HAVE TRIED n
will use no other. Defiance Cold Water
Starch has no equal in Quantity or DUAL.
ity-1e OF. for 10 cents. Other brands
contain only y o..
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

Smoke Baxter's "Bullhead" scent cigal
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-03-21

NEEkER COLORADO.
n, "hen you eo"e " us W"
ie"~neFe I" W ." 'ooA "e'i
print
~An " u" 'A'
ou''
A.. =. ..u
Fo1 tne pest way j" nAnsse enn-
"enout any
,-, ,
"neiess te'es..phy seems sssa.'
ous wireless po't'es - 10 Hoe" u
Hhe cost OF the coad striAe nearing
s.i".,ea az taoo'ooo' Ana 'ne
pu"ic VIII pay taat' 'oo'
Now 'hs' Tue aahser past,
mould ne noted tnat no one mas cai'ea
NJ" me Bowen OF contention.
the pituitary body there Is renewed
nope Tor the vermiform appendix.
Later on Miss Thaw may wish she
girls. and there II no use talking TO
them.
--------
GOOD news Tor the little herring
Gamers down In Maine! The sardine
failed.
-
Keep In mind that most Of the we'll.
TODD people of to-day acquired their
property ON the Observation-Disclosures
When all the novelists are in the
legislature and all the pugilists are on
the stage we may look for some siren
uous uplifting.
Rudyard Kipling has lost . lawsuit.
which will doubtless occasion some
chortling over among the Goths and
DsAAAAVAoso AAuAAD.
United States statutes has decided
that the United States ":s." Yes, 10
and ever shall be.
----------
The governments snake expert gets
that's ~ much as anyone who deliber-
ately becomes a snake expert ought to
get.
Sir Charles Beresford says that bat
Hague court are cheaper than battle
ships.
Secretary Cortelyou asks only
ment building. Let him have It.
what's Z dot like this for such . rich
nation?
Tf -----------
A man from Kentucky was driven
crazy by a quart Of whisky which he
been a son of Kentucky merely by
adoption.
A New Jersey court has decided
that palmistry is - crafty science in
tended to deceive the simple-minded."
4 discovery.
Again DR.. Koch is proved mistaken.
DR. Koch's brain seems to have been
. breeding ground for the germs of
error. That is, conceding that his
-------
A poet named Vrchlichy has been
elected q member OF the Austrian
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1903-06-09
CLOTHING LINED WITH FOOD
Very Amusing PredIcament of a Che
ofa Eew Jersey Restaurant VINO
Was Caught PuferInE.


When Charles Blazee was leaving
the Keystone restaurant in the Penn
sylvania railroad station, Jersey City,
the other day he cast an appreciative
glance at himself in a big mirror, set
tied his silk hat a little more firmly
on his head, and smoothed a sugges-
ton of a wrinkle at the waist line of
his rock coat. The scullery maids,
peeping from the kitchen window, adj
mitted that the restaurant had never
employed a cook of more distinguished
appearance than that same Charles
Blazee.
The cook had hardly reached the
street, however, when he al touched
On the shoulder by a policeman, who
took Blazee to the court of Police Jus.
tice Hooes to answer a charge of pill.
tering various tidbits from the larder
of the restaurant. The justice took
his seat and the attendant shouted:
Hats off"
Every n except Blazee complied.
Hats off" again yelled the court
officer, making a peremptory gesture
at the cook. He shifted u~neasily, but
made no move to bare his head. A
policeman stepped up TO do it for him.
but Blazee uttered a plaintive wait"
and gingerly began to take off the Of
tending hat. 1t as a delicate job, and
the reason therefor as disclosed when
a tomato can full of chicken salad and
a bag containing a dozen eggs were
brought to view.
As he stopped to deposit those arti-
lies on the floor Blazee's waistline
wrinkled. The policeman noticed that
and without ceremony slapped him ON
the solar plexus.
Blest If he amt wrapped up in
grub he declared, and. unbuttoning
Blazee's garments, disclosed a towel
fastened about him like a money belt,
but containing a dozen lamb chops in
stead of cash.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1903-06-09
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

his face when there are women stand
ing in a street c~ar."-Washington
Star.
A conceited man admires his own
mistakes because he makes them
Chicago Daily News.
Madge-"I hear that photographer
takes a very %fiattering picture" Dolly
II really couldn'tsay. Itisn't neces-
sary for me to go to hat kind of a pho
tographer IN. Y. Times.
A Journalistic Requisite.-"Don't
you think that a newspaper in smaller,
more compact form would be appre.
ciated?" said the publisher. mo"
answered his wife. 1T must be large
enough for a mar to hold in front of
Barnes-"Charley appeared to be
willing to acknowledge that he was in
the wrong. He said he was quite
aware Of his shortcomings" Shedd-
Isn't that just like Charley? Always
Dragging about what he knowsl"-
Boston Transcript.
Tess-"You and Miss Sere don't seem
to be good friends. What's the mat
ter?" JeSs-"Why, she remarked
that she was "A years old, and" Tess
And you doubted it?' Jess-"Not
at all. / merely said: OF course, but
when?"-Philadelphia Press.
Purposely Misunderstood.-"I'm 90.
ing on the stage" announced the ambi.
uous amateur proudly. "oh, well
everyone to his taste" replied his sar
castle friend If you Like it, of course
it's all right, but when I'm going any.
where | prefer t go on a railroad
train-"-Chicago Post.
The Literary outlook.-"What will
be the theme of the great novel of the
future?" asked of the famous writer
OF popular fiction, who was resting
after a wearisome effort to pend hjr
royalties. Really, l have not decided
he replied, with that charming naivet,
for which he is so justly celebrated
indianapolis News.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1903-06-09
CONSENT WAS UNEXPECTED.
why "A Little Girl Was willing to
Nave an Operations Performed
on Her Eyes.

There is one little girl in Washington
who recently gave her parents an exhi-
bition of her nature for which they
were totally unprepared. The child
was cross-eyed, and her affection was
a source of extreme annoyance to her
self and family. An oculist was con
suited, who advised an operation to
remedy the defect, and so it was de-
cided TO take the little one to a hos
pital in Baltimore. The utmost Sc
crecy was observed in the matter.
Miss Annie had nee made a great fuss
about having a tooth pulled, and, of
course, it was to be expected that she
would enter serious objections to an
operation on her eyes, says the Wash
ington Post.
She was taken to Baltimore under
the impression that she was going on
a pleasure trip with her father and
mother. When they arrived at the
hospital the mother took her daughter
in her lap and n%ervously preached the
real object of the trip. She set forth
in all its triple horror the embarrass-
ment which is the lot of the cross
eyed person, stating that the trouble
would increase as she grew older.
Now, Annie" she said, finally, 1--WE
have brought you over here to have
your eyes Strengthened. 1t won't hurt
you at all. Wouldn't you like TO have
your eyes like other people's?"
you just bet l would" exclaimed
Annie, to the astonishment of the 9th
ers. You can go ahead and do any
thing you want. and don't care how
much it hurts. I'm Just sick and tired
of having a pack of colored boys spit
into their hats and cross their fingers
every time they meet me-"
The operation was performed forth
with, and the young lady has as good
a pair of eyes as anybody in Washing
ton,
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1903-06-09
Pats Diplomacy.

In one of the large manufacturing
establishments in this city an Irish
man was employed to watch one of
the entrances.
One day the superintendent saw
the Irishman was neglecting his
duty, and told him to go to the office
and get his money, as his services
were no longer needed.
The superintendent went away on
business that day, and was gone
about a week or ten days.
On his return he happened to he
passing this same place, and was sur
prised to find the Irishman he had
discharged still acting as watchman.
He said: II thought l discharged
you a couple of weeks ago"
Sure" says the Irishman.
We'll, why didn't you get out when
you were told?"
"oh, l know when 1 got a good
boss, if you don't know when you
have a good man."
Needless to say, he is still there
Philadelphia Ledger.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1903-06-09
BROUGHT LUCK TO NURSE.
Birth on the Princess in Italy's Royal
Palace Means Fortune to a
Peasant.

Although the birth of a second prin-
cess was by no means welcome to the
king of Italy, there is another person
whose fortune and to some extent
fame has been assured by that event.
This is Vincenzina Stripe, a buxom
peasant woman from the mountains of
Verola, chosen to wet-nurse the
young princess. Her duty accom-
plished, Vincenzina returns to her hus-
band and her own babe with a pension
of $500, a sum which represents luxury
to the simple people from among
whom she springs.
King Victor Emmanuel II. is not
without his superstitions. and it is
commonly reported that he is con-
WINGED that his visit TO the czar of Rus
STA brought him the "evil eye" and
that he cannot have an heir to his
throne.
Princess Mafalda is a sturdy little
mite and is doing very well indeed.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1903-06-09
GIRLS RUN A BAIT FARM.
Two Sisters in Maine Put Into Pront-
able Execution an Idea That LIS
Suggested to Them.

Every day when the mail stage
starts from Beddington for Bangor
and Ellsworth it carries on the racl
behind a large fiat tank filed with
live bait caught and put on its way
TO market by Miss Evelyn Carr and
Miss Ann Carr, two sisters, who are
trying to get a living by an employ
ment new to women, reports the New
York Sun. All attempts to grow min
nows. red fins and mummy clubs arti-
fcially having failed, the fishermen
of Massachusetts, rely upon Maine for
the bait they use, and the increased
call for small fish suitable for catch
ing pickerel through the ice has
raised the price until there is profit
in making shipments of clubs and
s~ticklebacks to distant points.
Late in the fall. before the ponds
freeze over for winter, these small
fish seek the shoal coves along the
shores and deposit their eggs in the
sand to be Matched during the win
ter in spots so nea the ice that larger
fish cannot reach them. At such times
the small fishes are wholly careless
of the approach of man, and may be
dipped by thousands in fine hand nets.
Believing there was money to be made
in selling bait the Carr girls began
their work a year ago. and last win
ter cleared more than $500 above ex-
penses. This year they have built
a large tank near a running stream
and stocked it with more than a mill
lion fish, all of which they expect to
sell before spring.
They are sending put from 500 to
1000 a day now to supply customers
in Massachusetts, and will not in
crease their business to any extent un-
til February /, when open time on
Maine trout begins. The rates will
consequently hold low for more than
two months, and those who wish for
live bait now can buy all they want
at the rate of 20 cents a hundred. But
in February, when the fish which fur
nish live bait have sought the warm
depths of the ponds and the fisher
men are trying their luck on the ice,
every club in the lot will bring a
bright new cent. The total invest
ment made by the Carr girls up to
date does not exceed $3.50 for water
pipes, tank and nets. and they expect
to realize fully $1,000 from the sales
of their fish.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1903-06-09
HE had A NARROW ESCAPE.
W@@ a D%ostor, But Not the KLnd to
Which His Loved One
Objected.

i have always insisted" she said.
after a long, sweet silence, that 1
would never marry a doctor DR. a
preacher"
He turned pale and a look Of despair
crept into his eyes, relates the Chicago
Record-Herald.
Arthur she exclaimed, what is the
matter?"
With a heaving sigh he answered:
Can Induce you to overcome your
prejudice? All, tell me, tell me that
your decision against doctors and
preachers is not i~rrevocable."
Six weeks before she had written a
message on an egg and sent it out into
the world. The frail messenger had
fallen into Arthur Higgleson's hands.
and there they were sitting on the
baggage truck at the railway station.
waiting for the hack, which they had
missed, to return from town and con-
vey them to the hotel, where they had
planned to be married.
She looked up into his eyes with a
wild yearning and cried:
ART you a p~reacher?"
NO" he groaned, mot that-not
that"
"oh, tell me, tell me-" she walled,
that you are not a doctor"
He hung his head. There was a
guilty look in his eyes and she knew
that the worst had come.
AT last, pulling himself together with
a mighty effort, he turned to her and
said:
Yes, Emeline. You have guessed
the truth. I am a doctor. But why
should that matter? Why do you dis
criminate against preachers and doc
torso"
Because they have to be among
women so much" she sadly replied. "I
should a my husband all to my
self"
Love" he cried. then we may still
be happy. l am a horse doctor"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1903-06-09
GUN FIRED BY ELECTRICITY.
terms Are Deeply Interested In
BIrkIand's Electromagnetic
Cannon.

Birkland's electromagnetic n
the one described in dispatches from
Norway a year ago, is now engaging
the attention of German artillerists
in an improved shape. Although it is
only available in forts and is too COM
pick t. be trusted to an ordinary gun
ner, the German experts regard it as
the fo%rerunner of a new type of ordi-
nance. The principle of the gun is
the passing of a powerful current
through wire spirals in the bore with
out heating. 1t throws a 5O-pounds
projectile more than three miles with
accuracy. But Kirkland says he can
increase the distance fourfold. This
is the first electric gun German artil-
~lerists have found practicable.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1903-06-09

Mirrors Of platinum, palladium,
iron, nickel, cobalt, copper and bis
muth have been prepared by project
ing the metallic particles by kathode
rays.
The rarest shell in existence is one
called the Gone of the Holy Mary"
There is a specimen in the British
museum, which a few years ago was
valued at $1,000.
More than nine-tenths of the hemp
produced in the United States is
grown In Kentucky, and at present
prices it is regarded as second only
to tobacco in profit as a farm crop.
A pair of women's shoes made in
Lynn, Mass, to establish a record
for rapid shoemaking required 81
different operations and the use of
AZ machines and 100 pieces. All these
parts were assembled and made into
a graceful pair Of shoes, ready to
wear, in 10 minutes.
The limit of span wooden truss
bridges was, practically, 200 feet.
The wonderful development of the
OAAhE0g having n VI OA
the beam principle, has resulted in
its being ~oftenest used in spans up
to 1000 feet. When the distance be-
tween piers must be 1000 or 5000
feet the suspension bridge is used.
To prevent pitting from smallpox
it is only necessary to protect the
patient from the blue and violet rays
of light, which can be lone by al
lowing no light to enter the room
save through red glass. In the alb
sence of these irritating rays of
light-to which sunshine is due-the
deep disiguring pustules do not
form.
A very striking instance of the
deterioration of leather, produced
under conditions demanding quicker
tanning by the use of various chem
icals, thus decreasing the durability
of the material, is afforded by the
fact hat the British museum ex-
ponds $4,000 a year in reminding
books in leather. Modern leather is
widely different from the material
produced by what is now regarded
as an effete process, it's life being
limited to IS years. In the search
for cheaper and quicker processes of
making leather, large quantities of
sulphuric acid are used, and this
chemical. in combination with others,
causes the material to decompose
rapidly in the course of a few years.