The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-08-18
DER GERMAN COBBLER.
He Begs to Differ With His Friend
Voglestein.

Voglestein.
~Vhell, how vhas he now?' asks Mr.
Voglestein, ash he comes in to see me
de odder day.
I don't be in der poor house yet" I
says.
mo? All, if you only hat some brains
how could make a reech man of you.
Don't I tell you more ash feefty times
DOT it vhas brains dot count? All der
pegging in der world don't make you
reech if you don't hat brains"
But 1 can't buy some, can ~"
of course not You must go right
along shust ash you vhas and cobble
COP shoes, but ash for me-
"Vhell?"
Hans, like to introduce you to Mr.
Peter Vogelstein, der man NIT some
brains in his head 1 don't like to make
you feel bad, but maybe you like to hear
of my good luck? NOBODY need worry
about me. I tell you in some condolences
dot vhas going to make more ash ten
thousand dollar in one year
Tell me how"
"Vhell, like to wait und surprise you,
but mebbe she vhas all right to tell
you now. Did you hear O. dot funny
paper in Cheecago?"
I don't pellet I did. How vhas she?'
She vhas so funny dot when you
read her you must fall down on der
hoor-hal ha! hal"
Have you some copy NIT you?'
NO, or course not. A fellow comes
in my place und tells me all aboudt her.
/ vhas all alone when he comes in uni
says vhas I Peter Voglestein? I vhas.
Dot vhas all right. He reads of me IN
der papers, und he comes one tousand
miles to see me. He vhas der editor of
dot paper"
"Vhell. go on"
What you pellet, Ell? He WANTS me
to write for his paper, und he gifts me
one hoonered dollar a week. Dot brings
him here. He says I vhas so funny dot
he must hat my SMOKES in his paper.
Shildren cry for EN-"
When vhas you something's funny?"
asked
II dunno; but dot it What he says to
me. He likes some SMOKES right AWAY,
und so I gif him some I Will speak
dose SMOKES to you und you Will see
how funny dey vhas.
Why vhas a man who leaves his
pocketbook under his pillow at home like
a ship in a storm? Because his wife
takes out ten dollar before he gets
back"
'Und vhas dot funny?" says.
of course When L reads dot shoke
he laughs till I hat to hit him on der
back Dot makes me laugh, too-ha,
ha! hal Here vhas anodder:
Why should man who has eat some
oysters all winter go AWAY from home
in der spring? Because he WANTS a
change of climate "
Mr.. Voglestein, Will you please go
out?" I says.
What for?"
ITO keep me from fainting AWAY"
IF you don't say dot shoke vhas fun
ny, I Will neffer come in your shop
again. he shouts IF you hat brains
you see how it vhas so queek as light
ming. Dot editor he falls off his shair
when he reads dot shoke, und he says
his readers Will be conwulsed for two
weeks. Here vhas one more:
'Vot vhas dot deeference between a
man oop a tree und a man Own a hole
in der ground? One must come COP und
one must go down'-ha! ha! hal"
'Und how much you pay dot editor
to laugh?'' I says.
Pay? Pay? Why should I pay? Do
you pellet I vhas a fool?"
But don't he want you to cash
check before he goes avhay?"
"Of course not. If he says dot he
likes me to cash a check take him for
fraud Oh, no! Peter Voglestein
vhas no sunflower-not dis time
But you lent him money!"
"I-I-vhell. she vhas one hoondred
dollar a week on dot paper. und he pays
her back nit dot first salary. He don't
say right oudt dot 1 shall lend him
twenty dollar, but"
But he got it ~