Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1903-01-01

I move that these two young people
are SO badly infatuated with each
other that it is almost disgusting, and
that they be introduced and married
without further delay
It. Is difficult, we say, for us to UNI
derstard how love can be made in
this way It is difficult for us, here
in Anne RIGA, to comprehend how it
/ would he possible to win the timid,
! trusting heart of a maiden by means
of constitutional amendment or
under the provisions of a special
enactment, paragraph 4, page lis, re-
vlsed statutes of 1862.
Here in this country young man
makes love to his girl quietly and
secretly, AID without any assistance
from the upper or lower house. When
he gets ready to ask her if she will be
his wife he does not call out the fire
department. or the United States sem
ate or the police force. He just
turns a little pale around the gilIs,
shutters out something that sounds
like man talki1 g to himself in his
sleep, ana falls over the coal scutt1e,
while she socks her chewing gum
against the bottom of the chair and
says: ''Oh, Henry, this is so suddent-
We have only went together three
years." She does not say: Henry,
according to the congressional rec
ord, l was wooed and won by Gov
Bailey, of Kansas, yesterday after
noon by vote Of III to s, the minor
ity afterward moving to make it
unanimous"
Herein the United States it is a grand
free-for-all. No entries are barred.
Postmaster generals are not ruled off
the track because of a flaw in the
pedigree. All cabinet officers are
looked upon as our equals, and are
eligible to enter for the best we've
got. It's a grand struggle. The tot
tering, but wealthy bank president,
with one foot in the grave and the
other in the hands of his administra-
tor, stands just as good a show as the
bright young man who mea sures off
unbleached muslin and waltzes so
handsomely.
Everybody has the same chance.
You can marry the girl you love, if
she'll have you, without injury to the
nation or disgrace to the flag.
The congressman can marry the
chiropodist he loves; the cabinet
member can wed the elderly maiden
in No. 80 spectacles that presides at
the ribbon counter, second floor, third
aisle to right, please; and the simple
country girl can win the affections Of
the timid, modest United States SEN
ator and lead him in triumph to the
altar without national interference or
popular uprising.
There is no law here greater than
the law of love. Love brushes aside
all distinctions of social caste and
! levels all ranks. You see it every
day. .-..:
''Sweet and beautiful millionaire
is married to an actress who sings Sec
and alto and yels for help three times
in a play entitled The Hired Mans Se-
cret, or What Became of the Self
Binder. His father jumps six feet
and three inches in the air, as near
as can be estimated Upon alighting
he utters language that may be
learned upon personal application at
this Office E
'Cupid triumphs- Grocery boy fees
with middle-aged lady weighing 2s7
pounds on her last birthday-He whis-
pers burning words of love first in
one ear and then in the other, and
her coy heart is won. His triumph
ant elopement with her-Society
agog, out love laughs in exultation."
Happily wedded-Wealthy heiress.
after long siege, finally wins the gem
tie heart of printer who held slug
and threw in the medicine readers
Leaning sweetly and coyly upon her
arm, he is led to the altar-Denoue-
ment of a pretty romance in which
she won him in spite of her great
wealth-Faint heart ne'er won fair
printer"
''Delightful wedding-Postmast er
general, after long and bitter strug-
gle, wins girl of his choice, notwith-
standing the position he holds
| Stock market seems unaffected
Bradstreet has heard of no bank fail
ure as result-Price of December
oats advances quarter in spite of
the ceremony remains firm
throughout the ay-Buckwheat ris-
ing-The secretary OF the treasury
calm and hopefui-The head Of the
administration is present at the we'd
ding and throws an old shoe at the
bride, thus greatly strengthening the
feeling on Wall street"
And SO it goes here. Love runs
things about as it pleases without any
interference from the chairman of
the committee on foreign relations
Love sits in, the parlor on Sunday
evenings and admires' the pictures i'm
the photograph album. Love walks
in the sweet cleaning down enchant-.
ed country lanes and sees the roman
tic hay growing in the hay field and
the romantic COWS growing in: the
COW field, and recltes Ella Wheeler
i Wilcox by the acre. Love wooes on
/ the street car, holds hands during the
| i