The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-08-30
FUN OF THE WORLD.

a New England deacon sold pair of oxen to a broth
erfarne who inquired before purchasing they
"oreachy- They've bothered me, answered the
deacon The purchase concluded but a days
the purchaser had suffered considerable damage
fences from these Indignant.
the deacon Il asked you if they 'breachy. he
exclaimed. sand you said they'd bothered you
Well answered the deacon, Il allow that kind
OF thing bother me-"
< z
At Newport. last summer. George ;. Gould went
aboard battleship whic by multitude
OF little boats. filled spectators
ing all that seen There was young officer on
board who must have down accidentally a fresh
painted bench something kind says Mr. Could.
for his white duck very dirty though
not being of it He moved among the ladies gal
iantly and his trousers eyesore Finally some
of the little boats below Irish
voice shouted och msther. wouldn't yer
shwin7'
<
In his monoogus at the Orpheum recently James ].
Corbett told occurred at the Coney
Island club when he fought Jim" Jefries first
time The fighters had TO through the crowd OF
spectators on the the dressing rooms. One
there though ne had either OF the lighters.
had backed Jeries heavily. Corbett followed by his
trainers passed into the place yelled: Hello
here's Jim The who backing Jenriss thought
it was his fayorite who had arrived and he rushed
and caught Corbett BY the hand Good luck Jim! he
shouted: 1 hope you knock Corbctts block on
<
Lord Charles Beresford was orce breakfasting in
small country hotel accidentally upset of cof
white tsblecoth which the good lady
of the had dug up from the sacred linen
cupboard the benefit of the British admiral Unfor-
tunaely the upsetting of the seamng coffee also upset
the good ladys temper. and she soundly rated Lord
Charles his good thing for YOU
she said that coffee has left much stain
CLOTH 1T weak madam replied the admiral;
you'll have stain your coffee before can expect
stain table linen. Use more beans ma am; use
beansr'
q < z
regiments the manoeuvrng ground the present
'Moltke" of the German Count Haeseler. went
into rigimental and asked for five cents
worth of bread such is supplied TO the
ordinary soldier The in charge thought he would
himself a good by handing the general extra
large piece luxury. in the morning when
called the general ordered the soldiers 10
produce the raons supplied by the canteen for ve cents
Naturally. those shown not of such satisfactory
dimensions had been sold to the chief He said quiet
ly: Take your rations tell Herr
hat Haeseer commands him to give each
you large portion he had himself for the
money My five cents is not worth more than
yours
e Z z
very beginning of his editorial friend
Henry Labouchere quantity Of books
around which in for review offered to bet
of London Truth that there book he
the ofice Labourchere inquired the name
of The book and his friendly promptly answered: "A
Bible. With laugh Labouchere offered TO bet him ten
pounds had that book Turning the CONVEX
into clerks Office telling the boy downstairs and
booksellers underneath for the loan of Bible
Presently he the subject Of the bet and.
calling his assistant in asked him whether he had Bible
in office. The clerk produced the book. which La
friend. giving himself away.
however he did by saying soto voice to the clerk
Il goodness didn't forget TO cut the leaves
x u x n
W. j. Hampton the humorous versifer wrote TO a
who had asked him for his photograph: My dear boy
you the photograph for which ask 1t is such
a good likeness that it hurts
q 81 I'd
When the late Tom OchiItree first started out
practice of the with his father.
Well Tom senior partner is said to have remarked
what shall style the hrm?" Whereupon Tom imme-
diately suggested. why not Thomas p ochitree &
Father"
q q <
To explain why his trip had proved poor.
mercal traveller wrote long account Of how the
weather had business territory which
travelled. he received this reply from
his weather reports from Washington.
Don't send us any more what want is orders
x x x
is said that Mark Twain standing a crowded
hanging a strap. the other day AS the
around the strap broke. dumping him
into the lap of weli-dressed woman. The humorist
and bowed Madam" said he. this is the first
time the street company conferred favor
me-"
rs x g
Crom Evening Post OF August o. 2cs): president
the Greater university yesterday declined
the of $4,000 offered by wealthy stock gambler
for the purpose OF founding school OF
ity is said that the presidents the tainted
from which the money II is authorativeIy
that this The American history
a college president has declined money anybody
x
may be school stories but then the
is unreasonable" Philadelphia Press tells Of
Washington pupil
prior the closing 81 the public schools recently
examination In progress OF the eighth
grade rooms The teacher inquired OF Of the
girl pupils:
What government have In the District Of
Columbia
The pupil hestated instant Recalling dis
commissioners had been busy making Addresses
the several counnencernens then progress she
planned IN true school girl style.
In the District OF Columbia have oratorcal
form OF government"
x
IT'S right talk and 70 you would DO this
that said the had been telling cowboy stories
according TO the North Horficulfsrts;. but
did you ever look into the muzzis of revolver"
Il have sir" replied the frui: tree agent
WAS It pointed a your head2"
1T was"
And a good behind 5, -
He wss nan who eleven noiohss n ;hs butt q
that pistol 10 tally Up his dead