davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune., 1903-03-28

uodIoSG lGGlo LulHS lDdC oVoI was
Don't you think?
Hubby Cooking at bilD-Yes,
damn dear.
One reason why so many Shylocks
are successful is because they take
great interest in their business.
An ex-pugilist has heen discharged
from the position of street car con-
ductor in St. Paul. No reason for
the discharge was made public, but
it is probable that from mere force of
habit he commenced to knock down
A Pittsburg man died and left the
bulk of his estate to the younger of
two Louisville sisters. A young man
who had been counting the older
sister, instantly concluded that it was
the younger sister he loved. And
y ct they say love is blind.
An a rule the man whose hobby
horse is a pony of whiskey travels at
a fast pace, but he seldom if ever
comes under the wire winner.
A woman is quick to discover and
mend hole in the pocket of her
husbands trousers and she would be
just as quick to locate a hole in his
socks if he carried his money in
them.
An Irishman who recently landed
in Arizona from the old sod and who
intends toem bark in the cattle rails
ing business wrote to the editor of an
Irish paper in New York and asked
him if he would find out and let him
know the price of Wall Street bull.
Why, asked the anarchist who was
ad lressing labor meeting, do l
walk to my daily toll WI lie the
capitalist is conveyed to his office
in a horseless carriage? Because,
answered voice, you blow your car
fare in for mug of beer.
Morris tribune., 1903-03-28

Maple $3.50. Birch, $3.50. Oak,
$500. Tamarac, $500 cord sawed
at the yard Price delivered in
the village, 25c a cord additional
Morris tribune., 1903-03-28

are best finished and made of the
best material of any wagon on the
market. A full line of Buggies
and Carriages of all styles at
Bottom Prices.
Morris tribune., 1903-03-28
DISTRICT NO, 80.

Guy Judkins was absent Monday
on account of work.
B and G class bad examinations in
U. S. history Tuesday and arithmetic
on Wednesday. All did we'll in the
examination.
Irwin Sax has been absent most of
the week.
The weather has been 80 nice of
late that we are wishing school would
continue for some time.
When school opens again all of the
larger boys will be at work. Thus it
/ will be less pleasant
Our teacher spent Monday evening
with the Misses Perkins and Wednes.
day evening with the Misses Swan
SOL.
Friday evening there will be an
entertainment at Mr.. Perkins.
School Will close Friday.
The following essays will be read
on the closing day of school:
Clients that lead to the Revolu-
tionary War;. Florence Perkins
Essay on corn........Charley Swanson
Essay on wheat. Henry Willie
Amer: can Flag.......Bertha Swanson
Swallows. Mable Sax
Life Ct John Smith. .Adolph Fosburg
Life Of Abraham Lircoln
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Swanson
After the reading of the essays
there will be songs and farewells oy
the teacher and children.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09

support. 81 don't know" she said, "but
one of the boys is TO be the plaintiff,
and, goodness me, the sailors have been
fixing him up a big blond wig all the
afternoon. 0, it will be such fun. Mr..
La Verne is the one, too, for defend
ant. It's so absurd thinking of him
as a wife deserter and all that. o, [ do
hope they will begin right away"
Butld in the smoking bin there
was trouble. Harrison had been alb
ruptly told by DR.. Martin that he
could not and would not play the part
of the plaintiff in the case. Harrison
fairly shieked. "Why, Martini he
said, ''you were the one that suggested
the whole thing, and now you're go
ing to quit after I've fixed every thing
up Pretty hole you've got me into"
Martin waited awhile, and then said,
as if a sudden idea had seized him:
81 say, Harrison, you know my cousin
who came on board at Honolulu and
has been sick in her cabin ever since
would go ahead and take the part.
That is, if you will promise to say
nothing about it. She is fully as tall
as | am and she has real golden hair,
so she won't need the rope wig, and
she can wear her own clothes much
better than / can wear those of that
BIG. fat stewardess. Then she'll daub
on the red paint pretty strong, SO that
it will look as though she is made up
and as no one knows her, who can say
that it isn't me made up for the part %
Harrison made jump for Martin
and shook both his hands convulsive-
ly. "Quick. of course, all right, go
ahead and have her get ready at once"
The august court. who was a south
ern politician going out to Singapore
as consul, had appeared in the salon
and seated himself on his throne.
Then the lawyers had appeared and
INDUCED in q few preliminary wran-
giles, and the jury had taken it's place
and was Immediately accepted without
any quibbling. The bailiff appeared
in charge of the defendant, who was
faultlessly arrayed and who had waxed
his mustache SO that it stood straight
out. and he smoked a dainty little
cigarette of the regulation stage vii
lain kind. Every woman in the salon
said "O,' in breathless fashion and
applauded gently
Harrison, the counsel for the plain
tiff, walked in brisldy and took his
seat. Ready for trial, your honor.
Call the plaintiff in the case, Mrs. John
A. La Verne
A woman dressed in black and heav-
lily yelled stepped majestically down
the aisle and took her seat in the wit
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09

BY PHILIP MANILA

I ARRISON was hunting all over the
the ship to get some pieces of old
rope to tear into strands and out of
which to manufacture a beautiful
blond wig Of long, wavy tresses.
The ship was three days out of Homo
lulu and still eight days from Japan,
and, according to all time honored GUS
toms and traditions the psychological
moment had arrived for the mock trial
n the salon after dinner that night.
Harrison had worked all day fixing up
a case. He had picked La Verne as the
proper victim for the defendant. La
Verne was tall and dark, with black
eyes and mustache, and Harrisor
thought he would make fine defend
ant for either a breach Of promise case
or wife desertion. He was popular
with the women on board, considered
the prince of good fellows in the smok-
ing room, and altogether what Har-
rison termed a bright and shining
mark" DR.. Martin, young dentist
going out to Shanghai, was to be the
lady in the case whose deepest, truest
and sincerest affections had been torn
into tatters by the designing La Verne.
Dr. Martin was slight in figure, with a
smooth, girlish face, and Harrison de-
cided that if he were dressed in one
of the stewardess' dresses and adorned
with the blond wig he would make an
extremely dashing and lovely plaintiff,
calculated to arouse the tears of the
sternest juries.
That night after dinner the Japan
csc sailors and the Chinese walters
ceased glazing at each other long
enough to move the tables around and
arrange the salon to look like court.
Then the passengers who were not to
take part in the trial except as audi
ence came trailing in and took their
seats, whispering excitedly as to what
a good joke this was on dear Mr.. La
Verne and how much fun it would all
be, and who in the world was to be the
plaintiff.
Old Mrs. Muttsford, who was the
newsiest and busiest little woman on
the ship, whispered to everybody with
in reach that the case against Mr.. La
Verne was to be for desertion and nom
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
A Sadly Sinful World.

Housekeeper-Was it the hard times
that threw you out Of work?
Moldy Mike-No, mum; it was the
wickedness of the people, mum.
used to earn ten dollars a week an
travelin' expenses, but the sinful world
has lost all interest in tn cause [ was
a-helpin', mum.
''What cause?"
''The glorious cause of temperance,
num-"
Goodness! Were you temperance
lecturer"
mo, mum; [ was the horrible ex-
ample!' IN. Y. Weekly.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
Pete Persimmons-Wot am it?
Nothing Doing.

Mrs. Newriche (who would like the
count for a son-in-law)-It's true that
Count D'Ed-Brouck is inclined 10 be a
-er-wild, but he'll settle down,
you, know; time works wonders.
Gotrox-So it does; but I never yet
heard of it being in the miracle bust
ness.-Brooklyn Life.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09

Witherby-You look sick, old man
you'd better leave your office at once
Won Blumer-I ought to, but
haven't place to lay my head.
Witherby don't you go home
Won Blumer-My wife is holding a
eption.-Town Topics.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
Lost A ertising.

"Why does she weep?"
''She notified the papers that she
wished no mention made of her di-
vorce suit
''And they ignored her request?"
'No; they ignored the suit, and now
the manager says it would be a waste
of time to try to put her forward as a
r.''-Chicago Post.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
FatherIy Comment,

Daughter man [ marry must
be noted for his bravery.
Father-He certainly will be if he in
sists on breaking into the family after
meeting youl mother.-Chicago Daily
News
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
Quite Appropriate.

Popioy-My wife keeps scrap-book
in which she writes down all the cute
things our little boy says.
Asllington--H'm! Why do you call
it a scrap-book?
ooh, we quarrel every time over
which side of the house he takes his
smartness from. "-Woman's Home
Companion.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
Then She shed Tears.

George" she whispered, softly
''mark yonder breadth of cloud
stretching to the utmost part of the
nothingness."
'Nothingness? he echoed. "Why
goodness gracious, Maria, there's a
quart of rain in every square inch OF
that !''-Tit-Bits
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
inst TO OhIige.

eff you will only give my client time,
your honor" pleaded the young law
yer, ''I'm sure he will reform"
''Pll go YOU replied the judge. 'I'll
give him six months as a starter."-
Chicago Daily News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
Summing Tn.

Patience-Yes, Bob Brief, the able
counselor, proposed to me last night
in true legal style.
PatriceAAnd that smacking noise
we heard later?
ooh, he was just summing up
Yonkers Statesman
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
Most HeaIthfuI State.

The most healthfuI state in the
union is Iowa, with mortality rate
of go per 1000; and the least health
full state Isl Louisiana, with a mortal
ity rate of 20.65 per 1.00O.-Washing-
ton Star.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
Made Up for 1t Later.

Mamma was surprised and shocked
by the GOODNESS with which you greet
ed Miss Boresome when she called.
Ethel-Yes, mamma; but made up
for it later.
Mamma-Did you?
Ethel-Yes, indeed. You should
have seen how cordially I babe her
good-by.-Tit-Bits.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
Opportunities
I'm the South.

No portion Of the United States
has made greater progress in the
last year or two than the South.
Northern and foreign capital is
rapidly invading that section, find
ing profitable investment in the
various industries and factories
that are being rapidly developed
and built. The great influx of set
tiers is creating an increased de-
mand for lands of all kinds and
prices are gradually advancing, as
they will for years to come. Work
is plentiful and poverty practically
unknown. Alabama is supplying
coal and iron to all the world.
More money can be made and with
less labor in the raising of small
fruits and berries and in truck
patching on the Gulf Coast than in
any other state in the Union. Straw
berries from Alabama reach north
ern markets before those from
the states in the southeast. Cattle
can be raised with great profit
there being millions of acres of
cheap range lands. If you are in
terested in the south and it's re-
sources and desire information on
any subject, address G.. A. PARK,
General Industrial and Immigra-
ton Agent, Louisville & Nashville
r. r., Louisville, Ky.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
A Willing Worker

About the wrongs of workingmen
He has always been a bowler:
Yet he does not work himself
Except to work the GROWER,
Chicago Daily News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
Believed in Preserving Thorn

do you believe in large families?"
"You bet l do! Whenever I catch.
one of my boys smoking coffin nail
1 give him sound thrashing. Chi
cago Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
Sure to Attract

"She will make hit in society"
"What makes you think sop
"She has such a great past before
her."-Smart Set.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09

Mamma-If you don't have your face
washed your grandma will be shocked.
She has washed her face three times a
day ever since she wasa Titles girl.
Bobby-Say, NAV, guess that's the
reason it's all shrunk up.-Milwaukee
Sentinel
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
A Sure System.

Nose Medders-Jim Jackson has got
de safest system oh playing de races
dat / knows oh.
Pete Persimmons-Wo am it?
Nose Medders-Why, cherry day
befo' he goes to de track he hustles
aroun' an gifts his wife good big
washing to do!-Puck.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
Money saved.

MADE money on the races, did you?"
Eyes, | had tip and didn't play it,"
IN. Y Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
For Others Only.

''No man is indispensable"
We often say, but then
We can't see why this should apply
To us like other men.
philadelphia Press
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09

The men sat in the smoking room
that night for long time discussing
the mock trial.
''La Verne isn't such a bad actor.
either" one of them was saying. "He
plays joke out to. the end, too. 1 just
met one Of the Chinese boys moment
ago carrying lot of legal looking pa
pers that La Verne had given him down
to Martins room, keeping up the joke,
you know, about the $4,000 fortune"
Chicago Tribune
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-05-09
You will Have To Hurry!

If you some Of those fine RASPBERRY and STRAW
BERRY plants. Remember, grow my plants They
extra size and of most excellent quality Don't class them with
inferior plants shipped in They going fast and you'll have
to order to obtain them Send your with
mail carrier other way when you have your ground pre-
pared.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-06-18

The decision OF oahu members OF
the Legislature to reduce the appropri-
alton for the Nuuanu reservoirs and
purchase the fully equipped Pahoa
system shows good business judgment
In providing first class water supply
for the city. The Nuuanu water supply
Is under any circumstances question
able quantity. To secure pure water
will require an expenditure for reser-
voirs and filtration plant that is not
justified when less expensive and bet
ter artesian water supply is available.
The water department has been and
will probably continue to be one OF the
most profitable sources OF income, and
the Territorial or county government
Is bound to furnish householders with
the purest water that can be obtained
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-06-18
BERNpT's NEW FISH.

Fish Inspector Berndt yesterday add.
ed a new and valuable specimen to
the already large collection OF mon
sters of the deep, which he has been
sending to Professor Jordan from time
tc time. This specimen is a very pc.
culiar eel. II is five feet long and very
thick. Its color is the most striking
feature, 1t being a dark shade of brick
red. The head of this eel is also very
peculiar. The eyes are right close to
the nostrlls instead of being set well
back in the head. The mouth is also
extraordinary. being much longer than
that Of the ordinary eel and furnished
with double rows of very long and
pointed teeth. Mr., Berndt has never
before. obtained similar animal. He
will send 1t to the Coast In the Ala
MEGA. str-a -t ..
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-06-18
he Wants TAFT

Washington, June Son authority
OF a prominent administration Official
close to President Roosevelt 1t is said
that In the event Of his nomination, OF
which there seems no doubt. the Presi-
dent will personally urge Senator Han
ma to retain the Craftsmanship Of the
Republican national committee and
manage next years Presidential cam.
paign.
On the same authority comes a state
ment that William ii. Taft, Governor
OF the Philippines. would be more ac-
ceptable TO Mr.. Roosevelt than any
other of the men now mentioned as
Republican candidate for Vice Presi-
dent.
President Roosevelt will go to Cleve-
land tomorrow to attend the wedding
of Senator Hanna's daughter and It Is
probable that no will take this occasion
to talk over the situation with Hanna
and appeal to him to remain chairman
OF the national committee.
President Roosevelt's friends are
urging Governor Taft for second place
on the ticket because. they say. he
would give II great strength and be
able to bear the brunt Of speaking
campaign, being magnetic" man and
an orator of great ability. ...
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-06-18
Bridesmaid NJ med
As the Correspondent

New York, June 9.-The Sun says:
Mrs. Belle II. Barber has begun an
acton for divorce from Naval Surgeon
George Holcomb Barber, whom she
married at Washington In December.
1895. Mrs. Barber names as core
spondent Miss Louise Walker, who was
her bridesmaid at her wedding and
who. according to Robert l.. Turk. Mrs.
BARRIERS lawyer. is a relative OF the
naval officer.
The World says: Mrs. Barber was
one OF the leading bellies Of Washing
tons Official" society when, as Miss
Belle Willis, she met the young naval
surgeon. Their wedding Ia Washing
ton was a great society even. In her
complaint the young wife alleges that
In two years the doctor became too at
tentive TO the niece OF Rear-Ad-
miral OF the Navy at Annapolis, and
that since them he has been frequent
ly forgetful OF his VOWS, in Washing.
ton, New York and other cities with
various women.
In 1899 Barber sued for divorce, al
leging that his wife was habitually in
temperate. The suit resulted in a VIC
tory for Mrs. Barber. Since then the
BARRIERS have not lived together. the
husband allowing his wife $50 month
for her maintenance.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-06-18
Will Attempt To
EJECT THE
KapiOlani Estate

Since the completion OF tn efine Office
building Of the Kapiolani Estate on
the northeast corner of King and Ala
kea streets, the contention OF the
authorities, that the structure instrud-
ed some few inches beyond the official
line determined by the Government
survey as the street limit, has well
nigh been forgotten.
The Department OF Public Works
has not let the matter drop. however,
and ejectment proceedings are about
to be brought against the Kapiolani
Estate,
Correspondence on the matter has
been passing between the Government
and the Kapiolani Estate. The repre-.
sentatiyes Of the latter feel secure in
their position and the case is likely
to be hotly contested affair.
In the event Of the Government win
ming the contest the imposing new
building would practically have to be
reconstructed at great expense; ex-
pense equal in all probability to the
original cost OF construction. The Ka-
piolani Estate would doubtless carry
the matter to the highest court in the
event OF losing in the lower court.
Superintendent of Public Works
Cooper is at present at his Peninsula
residence and telephone communica-
ton could not be had with him this at.
ternoon, so he could not be asked for
details in the NATTER
John Colburn of the Kapiolani Es-
tate said this morning that they were
established in the new building and ex-
pected to stay there.
Attorney General Andrews would
not give out any information on the
subject. He will presumably en- luc'
the case for the Government.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-06-18
JAPANESE IN TEXAS.

Texas farmers are to learn how to
plant rice, manufacture mating and
promote new industry in this line
from the Japanese. This at least is
the statement of Col. s. +. b. Morse,
general traffic manager of the Southern
Pacific railway. So mucn has been
said against japanese labor In Hawaii
and the Pacific Coast States that this
declaration of Texans intent to learn
how from the japanese is highly in
teresting.
Col. Morse has given out an inter-
view in which he says:
THE japanese of Port Lavaca (Tex-
as) will soon begin the manufacture OF
japanese mating and the finest OF hats
from rice straw, and II is only a ques-
ton of time till our own rice planters
in Texas and Louisiana will take up
this industry, thus making the South
the center OF supply for mating and
straw hats OF the finest texture and
manufacture. The best mattings in
the world are made in Japan, while
, Wv en .,, -. w. 80 g..
~, -, W -. - 49,,
! Gulf, so the japanese tell me, that can
oe u''.,N.u ~, a AMI =. ~ ,,s.,i.ai
$50 ., au'. nc, W., ne ~ ,.n, 49,
VII no , . ISL ~ 'apan -. ,s,.
Ipo,,, anu III, NC" $50. 70 II" 49, ,ny,s,n,,
-.
- - 49,. au - - -.
80 en-, 80 -, -, M,,,har.s,
.no 'uii Deiole ,' ,.,..,,.,
80 ~" P. a. n,,,i,a.,,,
~, 80 =" aao,s,,.,, Co.. an,
,s 70 a'l - 80, - - -, a.
- =, ..,.a, -
=. .u, =, 80, ,,,,. ,,ou.. ,,,uooo,,
~ " - - a., 81
ne 'a ,e,,. son $500 Inans,rr
So .A' es w. TaUa. ,ar,nors Iaarn
- =. 4, a.. -, ,ho nraa,,o,, In.
w" ~ ~ a., 80 I.a,on, ~
"nse, ,.rL nsn -, -, ,,a, CO..
-. So ~, ,,.
1 - -, =. D., a,oao
60 a Ie" no -. a',,., -. 80
ny pIopOoe W ''0' '"
", ,IAe 80, l. , u,,.,
- ,',' IT., ~ :, a.,h,O
- ~ W" 49,, ~ ~ 80 - - a. :
tna. tne ,eNas 49," - -" ~ 49,. 90
" opul I,,t la,
-, go" 9 o,-auas b., o,.,oa,ais
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-06-18
MAY End KOREAN CASE.
PLEAS IN BAR To
BE DECIDED MONDAY
LIBEL AGAINST THE JAS. TuFT
SET FOR JUNE 26TH-DlS-
CHARGED FROM BANK
RUPTCY.

r. II provn md VIM NJ Rush were
i. ,,,.S,.o, ,.orn ,,nL.
vile NJ -, - 80 =. ,ho rodora,
I'M, r. " ' ~
No NJ, r,. iii .,,.. so,,.,o, I,
'uu -. us p,.hon
w. w p ,,. vn ,.,ies,, sau,ano
sn az Massn ss.,.,a. no. 80
80, ~ -. - -.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-06-18

King Peter Karageorgevitch has
Jovan Avakumovics premier. Ljubonur
Kalievics foreign minister, Stojan
Protics minister of interior, George
Hensics minister of commerce, General
Jorvan Alanzokyics minister of war.
Vogislav Velikovics minister Of finance,
and Ljubimomir Schiokovecs minister
OF justice. to assist him in straighten-
ing out the affairs OF Servia. A list OF
names like this ought to be capable Of
making or breaking most anything.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-06-18
PRENpEReAsT VS.. MARTIN.

Ejectment proceedings in Eleanor
X. Prendergast vs. Peter Martin came
ON before Judge Robinson at 10:45 this
morning and continued until noon
when recess was taken util 1880 p. m
J. A. Magoon for plaintiff; W. A.
Kinney for defendant. Jury was waiv.
ed by stipulation. Testimony taken
at the trial of this case on May Is and
10. 1902, was used as evidence by slip
ulation.
stephen Mahaulu and Mrs. Ellen X
Goo Kim were called as witnesses for
defendant.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-06-18

Small tourist leaflets sent out in bus
mess correspondence furnish one Of
the most effective adjuncts to the ad-
vcrtisirg campaign Honolulu is trying
to inaugurate. 1t demonstrates live
to inaugurate. 1t demonstrates the
lively interest OF individual business
houses in the progress OF the town.
People who think well of their own
town or Territory are bound to at
tract the favorable interest of outsid-
ers.