davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29
WANTED PARROT RESCUED.

The telephone bell at the fire de-
partment headquarters went into vio-
lent eruption this morning, and in re-
ply to the hurry-up reply a frantic
female voice from Edgar ven de-
manded the services of the entire
force, without any delay or foolish
ness.
"Where's the fire? from the city
hall end.
There isn't any fire, its my par
rot" from the Edgar avenue ex.
tremity. .
What ails your p%arrot?"
ut got away three days ago, and
/ have just found it. It's in the top Of
a tree over on Wabash avenue, and l
want you to throw water at 1t and
make it come down."
Now, the fire department is made
up of chivalrous and gallant young
gentlemen, but when it comes to run
ming out the apparatus to squirt wa
ter at truant parrots a line must be
drawn, and the Edgar avenue lady
was referred to Chief of Police Ly-
ons, who is ever ready to assist beau
ty in distress.-Mattoon, Ill, Journal,
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29
FLIRTED WITH HIMSELF.

A firtatious young man with an eye
for pretty women had an experience
recently which he is telling, although
the joke is decidedly on himself. He
vas riding out on a crowded car one
evening, when he felt a gentle pres
sure on his foot. He hardly noticed
it, but when a moment later he felt
it again he gently raised his foot with
a response. He looked up with a
smile to the woman beside him, who,
although pretty, did not seem to be
the least inclined to lirt. He was
puzzled. Again he felt the touch on
his foot, but not a smile. Just then
the car gave a sudden lurch and his
umbrella, which had been hanging on
his arm, almost poked a hole in his
shoe. He would have kicked himself
if the car hadn't been so crowded.
Kansas City Journal.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29
CHAPTER III

One hot afternoon the major sat in
his library. The doors were open
and a cool breeze, making the circuit
u route of the passage ways, swept
through the room, bullying a newspa-
per which he held opened out in front
of him. He was scanning the head
lines to catch the impulsive moods of
the world. The parlor was not far
away, down the hall, and voices
reached him. And then there came
the distressing hack, hack, of a hol.
low cough. He put down the news
paper, got up, and clowly strobe about
the room, not shaking with joviality
as he walked. In the parlor the voic-
es were hushed. there was a long
silence, and then came the hollow
cough. He sat down and again took
up the newspaper, but the cough,
hack, hack, smote him like the recur-
renee of a distressing thought, and he
crumpled the paper and threw it upon
the floor. Out in the yard a negro
woman was singing; far down the
stream a steamboat whistled. And
again came the hollow cough. There
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

The mar who works the soil, who is
brought into daily touch with ma
ture, is always having revealed to
him new mysteries and new beau
ties and wonders the while he works.
Just as the student of the Bible or
Shakespeare is constantly rewarded
with hidden treasures of literary beau.
ty. We sincerely pity the man who,
working the soil as a business. can
never see anything but the dollars in
he harvest. When one want to.
know and learn, Nature is a most
kindly teacher. She speaks a varied
language, and nom does she try to
teach so patiently and well as him
who lives the neares to her heart.
Her textbooks are object lessons, error
failures her punishments, abundant
harvests her certificates of gradua-
ton.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

The men who held over the onion
crop or bought stocks last fall for the
expected better spring prices have
been most ~grievously disappointed
this year, There was during April a
perfect glut of this esculent on the
market, and the prices were such as to
bring tears to the eyes of the e
IN fact, hundreds of thousands of
bushels were dumped to get rid of
them. A man takes chances in hold
ing this crop over.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

was another long silence, and then he
heard light footsteps in the hall. A
young woman halted at the door and
stood looking at him. Her face was
pale and appeared thin, so eager was
her expression. She was slight and
nervous.
WELL" he said. She smiled at him
and said, We'll" Then she slowly
entered the room, and with a sigh
took a seat neal him. The cough
from the parlor was more distressful,
and she looked at him. and in her
eyes was a ~beseeching sadness.
Louise"
Eyes, sir"
What did l tell you?"
81 don't know, sir"
Don't say that, for you do know"
you've told me many things"
Eyes, l know. But what did l tell
you about Carl Pennington"
Il don't know, SIR
les YOU 10. L IOlu you Inat i
didn't want him to come here. Didn't
II"
yes, sir"
"Then why is he here?"
81 met him and invited him to
come"
All, ha. But l don't want him
here; don't want you to see him.
She sat looking at him as if she
would study every line of his face.
He showed his hands deep into his
pockets and looked down. The cough
came again, and he looked at the girl.
you know the reason l don't want
you to see him. Don't you?"
Yes, sir, and I know the reason
why l do want to see him."
Ito Be Continued.)
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29
TURNING BACK PAUPERS.

The greatest distress is being suf-
fered by thousands Of wretched per.
sons in the Central and Northern
states of Europe by reason of the &C.
tivity of the steamship lines turning
back paupers and the diseased among
those who have been fired with a de-
sire to make homes for themselves in
the United States. The condition is
the outcome of the strict application
of the federal immigration laws of this
country.
Since it was first made clear to the
steamship people that they would be
held responsible for the return Of I'M
desirable persons brought to this
country, they have been more careful
regarding the character of the PEG.
pies to whom they sold tickets. 1t has
cost them thousands of dollars to re-
turn %paupers. and in sel f.protection
they have established elaborate sys-
TENS of inspection. They compel all
persons to whom they sell tickets to
submit to medical inspection and to
show that they have sufficient means
to raise them above the pauper CLASH
fication.
These precautions have been effec-
tive, but they have imposed untold
sufferings on the wretches who have
struggled for years to get the bare
mean to procure passage to America
only to find on arriving at the port
Of e~mbarkation that they cannot be
received on ~shipboard. We are told
that the roads leading to the interior
of Europe from Hamburg are lined
with unhappy wretches, the lame and
the halt and the poverty stricken, who
were rejected at the wharf after hav.
ing spent their all on the specious
promises of the emigration agents at
remote points, who promised them
transportation.
While we can but sympathize with
these unhappy people, yet this coup-
try is to be congratulated on the
changed conditions that prevail in the
European ports with regard to the
qualifications of the steerage passen-
ger. While there are thousands of
prosperous people in this country at
the present time who might have
been excluded had they been
subjected to the strict immigra-
ton laws OF today, still that fact
would not Justify the taking down Of
the bars now The earlier settlers
were not of the same class or the anne
national characteristics as those who
are now being turned back. They
were resourceful, and pauperism was
not their natural condition. More
over, they were sound in. body and
mind. Their poverty was merely in
cidental, and was overcome in the
cases of most of them under the new
conditions in which they found them
selves.
We want and will welcome millions
of the peoples of Europe in this coun-
try. We do not var and cannot
afford to receive the pauper and the
diseased of Central Europe.-St. Pau!
Globe.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

President Roosevelt's tour of the
West recalls a story of the time when
President Hayes was in Kansas 25
years ago. His train stopped at
Hutchinson for a few inmates and a
crowd pressed forward to shake him
by the hand. Among the number was
an intoxicated man, who did not know
what all the excitement was about.
When this mans turn came the presi-
dent grasped his hand and said: Glad
to see you, my friendN Same to you"
was the genial reply, but you have
the best of me. Say, somebody intro
duce me to this gent man. New saw
him before in my life"
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

During the snowy and wintry week
the last of April we passed on our way
to work every morning the nests of
two robins and wondered why these
birds did not have sense enough to
put off their counting and family cares
until later in the season when there
would have been nor pleasure and
fun in the business. These birds re-
minded us very much of these young
fools of our own race who get married
on what they think is love and $2.75.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

Recognizing the fact that locality
and soil have much to do with the ex-
cellence of any given variety of straw
berry, we say that with us the Candy
gives us the best favored berries, the
latest berries and the largest ones, but
not the largest yield. From our point
Of view it seems like a sin to sell
Candy berries so long as a man can
stand it to sit up nights and eat them.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

There are some circumstances un-
der which the best men cannot APP
pear to advantage; as, for instance,
when it comes to getting out of bed
and going to the window to ask
What's wanted?"
When the weather is bad the birds
keep still about it, and their example
might be well followed.
1t Is well to be a hero, but there
must be some other support for the
family.-Sioux City Journal.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

India has a very plentiful wheat har-
vest this year, one of the greatest
crops which the country has ever
raised, but a bad feature is that the
snperstitions of the people prevent
Them from so boarding this surplus
as to prevent their periodical famines.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

No one country schoolhouse in ten
Is kept up as it should be. While it
may be all right inside, the exterior
surroundings are enough to make a
child hate to go to school, when if the
director and the patrons would get up
a little enthusiasm and patriotism it
might be made a pretty and inviting
place.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

We took up some white cedar posts
recently which had been set only six
years and found them decayed to the
point of worthlessness. A willow post
will last four years and be grown for
3 cents, while the cedar post costs IA
cents.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29
- Sioux City Philosophy -

The sweetest things are the things
we know are ours.
A man is more than human who
does not feel good over knowing
something first.
The temptation to answer a fool ac-
cording to his folly serves to double
the number.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

stick Of three feet and scales weigh
ing ~ or 16 ounces to the pound ex-
cept of coal, but they are far from it
at the present writing.
Queer money is one of the .concoml-
tants of imperialism.-St. Paul Globe.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

The Dorset sheep will bring the
most lambs, the Cotswold are the best
mutton sheep, the Merino produces
the finest wool and the Shropshires
are the best all round sheep for a
farm where from fifty to a hundred
sheep are kept.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29
What?

Becomes of all he hatpins?
Was the need of making the hip,
popotamus so ugly?
Is the reason Illinois elects SO few
great men to public office?
Makes a man so much more indul.
gent to his grandchildren than to his
children?
Would have happened If Adam had
refused to join Eve in eating the for.
hidden fruit?
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

ing places set to entrap cool breezes.
The plantation comprised about one
thousand acres. The land for the
most part was level, but here and
there a hill arose, like a sudden Jolt.
From right to left the tract was divid-
ed by a bayou, slow and dark. The
land was sc valuable that most of it
had been cleared years ago, but in
the Wooded stretches the timber was
thick, anu in places the tops of the
trees were laced tcGcther with wild
grape vines. Far away was a range
of pine-covered hills, blue cones in
the distance. And here lived the poor
er class of people, farmers who could
not look to the production of cotton,
but who for a mare existence raised
thin hogs and nubbins of corn. In
the lowlands the plantations were so
large and the residents so far apart
that the country would have appeared
thinly settled but for the negro quar-
tiers here and there, log villages along
the bayous.
In this neighborhood Major John
Cranceford was the most prominent
figure. The country was named in
honor of his family. He was called a
progressive man. He accepted the
yoke of reconstruction and wore it
with a laugh, until it pinched, and
then he said nothing, except to tell
his %neighbors that a better time was
coming. And it came. The years
passed, and a man who had been
prominent in the Confederate council
became Attorney-General of the Am
erican nation. and men who had led
desperate charges against the Federal
forces made speeches in the old CAPT
tol at Washington. And thus the
world was taught a lesson of forgive
ness-of the true greatness of man.
In New Orleans the major was
known as a character, and his nerve
was not merely a matter of c%onjec-
ture. Courage is supposed to hold a
solemn aspect, but the major was the
embodiment of heartiness. His laugh
was catching; even the negroes had
it, slow, loud and long. Sometimes
at morning when a change of season
had influenced him, he would slowly
stride up and down the porch, SEEM
ing to shake with joviality as he
walked. Years ago he had served as
captain Of a large steamboat, and this
at times gave him an air of bluff au-
thority. He was a successful river
man, and was therefore noted for the
vigor and newness of his profanity.
His wife was deeply religious, and
year after year she besought him to
join the church, pleaded with him at
evening when the two children were
Kissed good highland at last he
stood the rector's cross-examination
and had his name placed upon the
register. 1t was a hard struggle, but
he weeded out his oaths until but one
was left-a bold "by the blood" He
said that he would part even with
this safety valve but that it would re-
quire time; and it did. The major
believed in the gradual moral i'm
provement of mankind, but he swore
that the world intellectually vas go
ing to the devil. And for this convic-
ton he had a graded proof. Listen
to me a minute" he was wont to say.
"1ll make it clear to you. My grand
father was graduated with great hon
ors from Harvard, my father was
graduated with honor. I got through
all right, but my son Tom failed"
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

1t is said that Strawberries refine
the complexion when eaten literally.
Be that as it may, we know they will
put a feather edge on a fellows di-
gestive machinery. and he will have
n mighty good time doing it.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

Where a farmer of standing and in
fluence is wheedled by some swindler
or fakir for a consideration to furnish
the prestige of his name to rope his
reighbors into a scheme the sooner he
from that community the bet
ter, for his neighbors will v for
give and never forget.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

The old orchard which has grown
gnarly and unproductive may be reno
waited by removing all dead and decay
ing growth from the trees, deeply
blowing and continual cultivation of
the ground for two years and an appli-
cation of forty loads of good barnyard
fertilizer to each acre.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

Where the disposition is evil it is
easy to find speech to fit it.
The man who cannot govern him
self has no need of a public Office.
A squeaky door is an insult to a
mar with a latchkey.
The u new looks the worst for
a storm.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

II you are born lazy and just want
to make a living in the easiest way
possible, keep 200 laying hens. You
a buy the feed for the fowls, hire
a kid to gather the eggs and still have
enough left to keep your lazy body
and soul together.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

A snarled face is a bad match for
a musical voice.
The time when a man fears most
for his wife's health is when the prop
osition is to leave him alone with the
baby.
Every man on a strike boasts that
he is strong.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

The farm separator is not only an
economic blessing, but if the old mot
TO, Cleanliness is next to goodness"
is true it performs a theological mis-
sion as well. The dirt which will be
taken from the milk is dirt which you
do not know is there.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

1t will cost about 81 to give the
home farm a name of its own and
have a batch of note heads and en-
velopes printed with the name of the
farm and it's owner on them. 1t is a
question if 81 can be spent to better
advantage.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

Some women are so set in their way
that they will not allow modern con-
Veniences which would ease their
household labors to be brought into
the house, preferring to do their work
in the hard old way.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

The single comb Black Minorca
fowls hold the worlds record under
the government test both for number
and weight of eggs, one hen laying POP
eggs in twelve months, weighing six
to the pound.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

The wise cook will bake the crust
of her lemon and custard pies before
she makes the pie; then the bottom
crust won't look and taste like half
cooked marcaroni.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

Some scientist has made the discov-
cry that there are 5000, coo microbes
in a box of Strawberries. If this be
true we have no hesitancy in dispos.
ing of 100000 microbes at our sup
per table.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

Eugene H. Lehman, the young Colo
RADIO college student, the first Ameri-
can to be awarded a Rhodes scholar
ship at Oxford, worked his way
through Yale, where he got, employ
ment as a tutor at 81 a day and
wheeled All invalid in her chair for
rs cents an hour. His credentials
showed a higher percentage that those
submitted by 20 other students.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

Soft water cisterns in the south are
nearly all made of galvanized steel
and placed above ground at the rear
Of the house. thus making warm soft
water always on tap.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

The robin builds a good, large sub
stantial nest and could seemingly care
for six or eight young birds, but we
have found a robins nest with
over four eggs in it and usually only
three.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

California shipped 1850 cars Of cell
cry to the east the last season. This
business has grown from a shipment
of only fifty cars ten years ago..
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29
Farm, Orchard and Garden Notes
Copyright 1902. by J. S. Trgg. Rockford, Iowa. Correspondence Solicited

1t takes nature a hundred years to
produce a tree which a man with a
sharp ak can destroy in fifteen min
utes.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

The lumberman, the sheep and the
forest fire will utterly ruin the re-
naming forest growth of the country
unless prevented.
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

An Indianapolis doctor is authority
for a story of a family named Tinsley,
whose members as well as their an
cestors have never been able to laugh
since a clergyman cursed a Tinsley for
i'll timed merriment at the hanging of
a thief in oliver Cromwell's day
The professional world. (Columbia, Mo.) 1901-192?, 1903-05-29

At what season cid Eve eat the ap-
pie? EARLY in tbs sa,l.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-08-21
New Idea Womans Magazine
tor September.

The women who clamor. for advice
how to turn their time and talents to ac-
eount-will receive many valuable hints
from the series OF articles entitled "Prof-
table Industries for Women" which is
begun in the September number of the
New Idea Woman's Magazine under the
heading of "Poultry-raising," from the
ben of Sarah E. Slater. The new depart
ment of Correct Dress for Men," also
begun in the September issue and con-
tributed by Hawthorne, welLknown
authority in haberdashery. bids fair to
be of paramount Importance in this peri
odical, because many women do much
of the shopping for the men OF their
families and are glad to have suggestions,
Every item in the September number
either technical or fictionable, is OF more
than passing interest.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-08-21
Santa Fe Excursions.

minneapolis, Minn.-July 10 to FL,
final limit July 20. One fare plus two
dollars for round trip.
St. Louis. NO.. Summer School.-June
70 and July l. limit Sept. 16 One fare
plus $500 for round trip.
Boston, Mass.-June "a, 25 and 26,
limit July 5. By depositing ticket and
paying so cents. limit will be extended
to Aug 1. One fare for round trip.
To points in Mich Ohio and New
York.-Dates of sale daily until Sept. 80.
Return limit Oct. 81. One fare plus So
for round trip.
Chicago-June 80 and July 1, final
limit Sept. 16. One fare plus $500 for
round trip
California-July to 10. Return limit
Aug. /. $50 for round trip.
Detroit, Mich July IA and IS. return
limit Aug. 16. One fare plus $500 for
round trip.
Colorado, Common Points-Jvly to
II. Final return limit Aug. 81. $15.-
80 for round trip.
San Francisco-Aug. to Ia. Final
return Oct. Is. $45.0O round trip.
Colorado Points-June to Sept l,
limited to Oct. 81. One fare plus 81
cents for round trip
c. s. Coleman, Agent.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-08-21
Remarkable Cure Of DiarrhOea.

.. "About six years ago for the first time
in my life had sudden and severe at.
tack of diarrhoea," says Mrs. Alice Mil.
Ter, of Morgan, Texas. II got temper
airy relief, but it came back again and
again, and for six long years l suffered
more misery and agony than can tell.
II was worse than death. Ny husband
spent hundreds of dollars for physicians
prescriptions and treatpenr without
avail. Finally we moved to Bosque
county, our present home, and one day !!
happened to see an advertisement OF
Chamberlain Collie, Cholera and Diarr-
hoea Remedy with a testimonial OF man
who had been cured by it. The case vas
30 sinilar to my own that l concluded
to try the remedy. The result was Won
derful. lcould hasdly realize that was
well again. or believe it could be so after
having suffered so long. but that one
bottle OF medicine, costing but few
cents, cured me-" For sale by r. p.
BriGgs.