davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23
CUTTIN' a SPLUDGE.

Did you ever ia your boyhood try what
folks call shown OFF,
IF you quit it with your childhood.
you was doin' we'll enough.)
But in thinkin' back minute can you
recollecI a case
When your caper didn't end by putin
shame into your face?
Didn't old Humiliation come an give
your ribs nudge?
For We always make a fizzle when we
try to cut spluGge
[ have seen folks all my lifetime git
along in bully shape
Till they seen some other people that
they thought they ought to ape;
Then they started for tn breakers
under ev'ry inch of sail,
An they always got their bumpin'-
never knowed tn rule to fail.
Then as like as not they'd sour,
claimin' some one had a grudge.
People always make a f1zzle when they
try to cut a spludge.
heih do SlIS thtI ain IN critters at
goes trainin' round at things:
SWallers makes a heap less fiutterin'
than chickens with their wings.
Amt no better than stickin' to YOUR
knittin' right along;
Ii you can't beat t'others talkin', try
to drown EN- with a song.
An if plain, hard works your speciaI-
ty just buckle down and drudge,
But unless you're fond of fizzlin' never
try to cut a spludge.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23
When, Then, Do We Die?


/ has pursued the same train of investi-
cation by another method. Reasoning
from Brown Sequard and Robins ex-
periments, and upon the well known
fact that after apparent death the
muscles become rigid by degrees only,
first those Of the jawbone, then of the
abdomen, then Of the neck, and then
of the breast, and convinced that or
ganic death is a matter of more pro-
lOnged graduation than is generally be-
! lieved, he cut off the tails of two old
rats and grated them, one upon the
head and one upon the back of two
others. The tails speedily united
with the new organism and became
as full Of life as when attached to the
body Of tt 1ir first possessor. NJ. Bert
intends again to cut off these tails
when the rats grow old again TO en-
graft them and ascertain whether life
thereby can not be Indefinitely pro-
lOnged. We are not physicians, but
it certainly would seem feasible if
such experiments are successful in
the case Of the higher animals, upon
whom they will certainly be tried, to
remove an arm or a leg from a man
recently dead and graft them upon a
one armed or one legged veteran from
the wars as better substitute for the
limb he has lost than any which the
skill or art of man can make.
Almost everyone has heard Of the
attempts to restore animation by the
/ electric battery made from time to
time since Aldini first tried it at
| BOulOgne, in 1902, and every physiolO-
! gist will recollect the famous case in
! Glasgow, when, an hour after eXecu-
ton by hanging, rage, horror, despair,
agony, and terror were distinctly seen
IportTayed upon the cOuntenance Of the
dead when submitted to the battery.
j But by this means no man has hither-
| to been restored permanently to life.
! The Friend Academy Of Sciences, in
/ 1913, thought it, however, of such i'm
portance that they refused to recOg-
nize the cessation Of the action of the
heart as conclusive proof Of or
ganic death, and considered it esta5-
lished only by the setting in Of putre-
faction or muscular immobility under
the battery. The fact remains, and it
may now be considered as incontest-
ably demonstrated, that man does not
die all at once; that one or more mem
bers live, and one or more functions
retain their vitality after all apparent
| life is gone. We are no longer com
PEELED to believe that the story Of the
head Of Madame Elizabeth blushing
at an insult offered by the execution
! er, in the dreadful days Of the reign
of terror, is altogether a myth, alto
! gether a tale told from the heart with
out any participation from the intel
! feet.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23
REAL HEROISM.

New York Sun: A deed done on
Monday by Edward Muncy and Ed
ward Nelson, high school students at
Bay Shore, was of almost ideal hero
ism. Florence Baker had broken
though the ice on Robbins Lake and
disappeared. To plunge into the water
to save a drowning person is danger
Gus for any man. In winter it is al
most fooIhardy. When the rescuer
mas to go down and grope beneath the
ice, it seems like suicide Yet the
two Bay Shore Edwards are reported
to have done that thing, found the
drowning girl, then found the hole
where they had gone down and all
three were saved.
One of the gold medals given by
the government for life saving seems
to be due to each of these boys.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23
A Phonoqraphic Watch.

A clock with a photograph attached
to it, which delivers its message on eX-
actly the same principle as the alarm
Of an alarm-clock, is the latest piece
Of mechanical ingenuity in Geneva.
Into the receiver of the photograph
all that is necessary is to speak the
message of which one desires to be
reminded the next day at certain
time and at that hour the phono-
graph speaks the words. Thus if one
has an appointment at o'clock to-
morrow one merely says, Il have to
keep an appointment at o'clock"
and by setting the message to go off
at the intelligent machine makes the
announcement and enables its pos
SCISSOR to be in time.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23

color. Do not wait an instant once
this change Of color begins, or they
will lose flavor Remove them from
the fire and stir them until the strip
has turned back to sugar and clings
irregularly to the nuts
Pineapple Pie-Three tablespoonful
OF corn starch mixed in cold water.
two cups Of boiling water, one and
one-half cups of sugar, butter size of
an egg; one can grated pineapple;
BAKE with one crust; this makes three
pies. Beat the whites of two eggs to
a SUN roth, add two tablespoonful OF
sugar and spread on he pies when
done and brown in oven. These are
fine
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23
A Backer of Tom Savers.

The recent death Of James CraigIe
on the Isle of Man serves to recall
the greatest prize fight in history,
the memorable battle of Marlborough
on April II, 1860, between Tom
Savers, champion of England, and
Jack Heenan. Mr.. Craigie was one
of Savers hackers, putting up a part
of the stake Of $1,000, for which the
battle was fought. At the ringside
were many of England's most notable
men, including Lord Palmerston.
The battle ended in a draw and a
free fight and the pugilists had to be
smuggled away from the police. The
disgraceful ending of the fight
marked the beginning of the decline
Of the sport as a ''gentleman's game"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23

SO strong is the influence of hereditary
that The Man who Knows no sooner
enters the drawing-roCm than he Is
seized by guilty fears. His ancestors
for having exhibited moiety Of his
intelligence were executed as wizards.
But perhaps the ordinary working of
natural selection may account for the
facts. The law of the survival Of the
fttest admits of no exceptions, and
the fittest to- give Us pleasure in con-
versation is the sympathetic person
who appears to know very little more
than We dos. NJ. Crothers in At
lantic
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23

A clever young woman in New
York is earning living for a mother
and four sisters by a novel method
of entertainment. She will onceal
herself behind screen, and blind
fold her eyes, and tell you what you
write as you move your pen across
the paper. This is no new trick, for
there is nothing new under the sun,
but it is amusing, and, to the un-
initiated, astonishing.-New York
Press.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23
MORALITY VS.. TELLECTUALITY

San Francisco Bulletin: AS a man
grows older he perceives that the
moral qualities are worth good deal
more in friendship than the intellect
ual qualities, and that no brilliancy of
mind, no charm of conversation can
make up for Jack of loyalty, charity
and generosity in social intercourse.
Young men with brains are disposed
to value mainly mental power in other
p ople, and it is a human quality to
forgive much in men and women of
genius. This is a false appreciation
Of the respective values of mentality
and the moral qualities. The time
comes when man learns that I'M
selfshness and affection are better
in wife or friend than intellectual
power accompanied by intense self
love. Fortunate the man who does
not come to this knowledge too late.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23
A Problem.

A woman goes shopping for a.
spring bonnet. She sees two hats
that she likes. One is pretty and is
marked $3.50. The other is ugly,
but the price is $50. Her husband
makes $50 a month. How much will
he have left after he pays for the
hat she buys?
Answer: Nothing. The other 81
will go for extra trimming.-Chicago
Tribune.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23
Cleared 1t.

"Will you allow me a moment to
clear my throat?" huskily begged
the condemned horsethief, with tears
in his eyes.
Yes said the leader Of the
vigilance committee.
With a quick movement OF his
hands, which they had neglected to
tie, he slipped the rope from his neck,
leaped from the barrel on which lie
was standing, mounted the fieetest
horse in the lot, and was off like a
shot.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23

The United States government crop
report for April 1 places the winter
wheat condition at 97.3; 579,00O,O0O
bushels yield is probable.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23

Not as a freak but for his prOfcien-
Icy at the great game Of skill, George
II. Sutton is we'll known in billiard
circles, where he is considered one Of
the best players in the country. His
ability is all the more remarkable,
however, when it is considered that
his arms are cut off just below the ell
bows and he holds the cue between
the two stumps In this manner he
can also shave himself and sew on
buttons.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-04-23
Mock Mince Pie.

Two eggs, one-half cup of butter,
one-half cup of vinegar, one-half cup
Of cold water, one cup of sugar, one
cup of molasses; allspice and raisins,
and three we'll rolled crackers.
Lemon Plea grated rind and juice
| of two lemons, yolks of two eggs, and
one whole egg, one cup of sugar;
moisten a heaping tablespoonful of
! corn starch with a little milk, then
add two-thirds of a cup of boiling milk.
Cook two minutes; when cooked put
| all together and beat; add little salt
and pour into your crust. For frost
| ing, beat the whites of two eggs, then
add one teaspOonful of sugar; spread
over the top and place in the oven to
brown.
| Mince Pie-One cup of beef chopped
| fine, two cups of chopped apples, one
even teaspoonfu1 of Glove, cinnamon
and nutmeg, two teaspoonfuls of salt
molasses to taste, one cup of currants
one cup of raisins, one cup of sweet
pickle vinegar. Cook in a porcelain
kettle. This amount will make five
pies.
Plain Apple Pie-Cover deep pie
plates with a rich crust Pare, core
and slice thin, tart apples; place the
/! pieces in "apple-pie order" until the
! dish is full. Add two-thirds cup sugar
a pinch of salt. cinnamon, and bits of
butter.
| A delicious way of cooking country
| sausage meat is to brown a finely
| chopped onion in tablespoonful of
| butter in saucepan: add half a glass
| of ordinary wine; prick six sausages
in skins, and add them, or six cakes
of sausage meat. Let them cook five
minutes. Put in a cupful of rich brown
sauce. Serve the sausages at the end
of this time with a little minced pars.
ley sprinkled over them.
! Sausages may be cooked in the oven
! Put twelve sausages in skins on a
| baking dish. Separate them by twelve
slices of bread cut the same height as
the sausages. Add a tablespoonful OF
| Madeira wine to a rich brown sauce.
Add if desired six minced mush-
rooms to this sauce. When the saus-
ages have baked twelve minutes serve
them with the sauce in separate
| boat
| Another wav of serving baked saus-
age is On a layer of red or white
beans cooked to a PURGE. Spread the
| PURGE of beans on the center Of plat
ter and arrange the baked sausages on
! top of it.
| Country sausage meat makes the
most delicious forcemeat for stufing
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1903-07-23
TRIED THE CALF CURE.
German Student Adopts Novel Method
to q uiet Girl Pianist and Gets
Into Trouble.

Adolf Bunge, a student, of Leipsic,
Germany, wants quiet, but young
woman in the fiat below him plays the
piano all day long and far into the
night. Bunge has protested and
begged to no purpose. Then he
bought calf. AS soon as the young
woman ceased her piano scales Bunge
stirred up his calf with stick, and it
began hideous bleating. Every time
it showed signs of WEAKNESS he
punched it again. The neighbors were
furious, but Bunge refused to give up
his calf unless they conceded point.
Finally Bunge was arrested as a
nuisance, and the magistrate fined him
heavily for raising cattle" on premises
not set apart for that purpose. Bunge
made passionate speech in behalf of
calf music and offered to produce the
calf, but the stern justice would not
listen to his plea.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1903-07-23
Advice Of a LAWYER.

Most lawyers know the trouble
some man who, having an eternal
grievance insists on taking his solic-
itor's advice on every possible occa-
sion.
Such one entered the Office OF "a
busy provincial man Of law a short
time since.
johnson OF Jerrytown has insulted
me-" he announced loudly. "He has
threatened to pull my nose whenever
he meets me. What would you advise
me to do?"
The busy lawyer did not look up
from his writing.
"Ii really threatened to do that,
he said iudicially, my advice ia that
you soap your nose well; and then il
will slip through his fingers. Good
day; my bill will come on in due
time,"-New York News.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1903-07-23
A SENSATIONAL DISCOVERY.
San Frsnci~co Found TO Have Bcen
Tempered Win at Paris.

A sensational discovery was made,
SAYS the San Francisco Call, when the
personal effects of the late Mr.. and
Mrs. Charles Z. Fair arrived from
Paris few days ago. The magnifi-
cent Russian sable coat. valued at
$4,000, which Mrs. Fair bequeathed
in her will to Mrs. Joe Harvey, was
gone. and cheap imitation affair, not
worth $50. had been substituted in
it's place. Mrs. Fairs famous pearl
necklace of five strings, valued at $15.-
600, had been tempered with. and in
stead 6f real pearls in the necklace,
cheap imitation gems had been set in
their places. Numbers of articles of
jewelry which the Fairs were known
to have taken to Europe were missing,
and their only effects which were re-
turned through the American consul
ate in Paris intact were Mrs. Fairs
chinchila and mink coats. and Charles
Fairs scarf pins. The changes were
made. it is believed. before the val
uables were turned over to the Amer
lean consulate. Steps have been taken
to attempt to locate the stolen ar
ticles.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1903-07-23
FORFEITS HIS LIFE.
Experimenter in Occult Mysteries
Discovered Dead After a Test.
PARA scholar Tries to Temporarily
Release HIS S0uk from HE Body
and He Fails 40 Revive
After an Experiment.

In an effort to prove thatthe soul cal
leave the body or return 10 ii, Albert
Guelle, of Paris, a man of superior
intellect, lost his life-victim to one
of the strangest experiences OF his
tory.
Mr.. Guelle was widely known as a
translator from the Greek. Latin and
Hebrew. For time he filled an APP
pointment at the bureau of public as
sistance, but resigned his position to
study occult sciences in Meudon.
The independence of the mind in
dreams caused him to conclude that
personality is dual, and he resolved
on an experiment that should free his
soul from his body for time.
His experiment was based on that
of the fakirs in India. who have them
selves buried alive, maintaining their
body in a lethargic state while their
minds are supposed to journey in the
astral world.
He constructed an apparatus con-
SlStlnR OF u TtStTNOiT hNSu w tht wan
which would let mixture of chloro-
form, sulphuric ether and water fall
drop by drop on his face. Then. choos-
ing his birthday for the experiment.
he wrote his will and letter 10 a
friend, placed himself out on bed be-
meath it, having anointed his body
with antiseptics that modification
should not set in while his soul was abb
sent.
The letter to his friend asked him
to awaken Guelle at the end of ten
days. Immediately on receiving II the
friend rushed to the young mans
apartments with Guele'S mother. They
were too late. They found the stu
dent stretched on the bed, calm ex-
preston on his face, as If he were
sleeping. He had been dead several
hours.
In his will he enioined his mother
not to regret him il his experiment
should prove fatal. He promised that
his soul should continue to commune
cate with her.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1903-07-23
Every Lyncher Guilty Of Murder,
Says Brewer.

Milwaukee, Wis, July 13.-Every
man who participates in the lynching
or burning Of negro is murderer,
pure and simple
This opinion was given by Asso-
ciate Justice David q. Brewer OF the
United States Supreme Court, who is
in the city on private business.
"0i course, explained Judge Brew
er, "there may be extenuating cases
which would vary the degree OF the
crime, but the principal participants
in the crime can be held by any court
in the land for murder in the same
degree as II the crime had been COM
mitted by an individual.
"There is going to be a reaction
against the atrocious crimes with
which the papers have been filled
The fact that the people are now in
teresting themselves in this problem
makes manifest the fact that there is
a tendency toward a change. | ex
pect that it will come soon.'
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1903-07-23
STORY OF A GOWN.
How One of Miss Alice HonseNelt's
PrettIeSt Dresses Came to lie
Duplicated.

How il came about that five Of the
members of the younger set have worn
this season duplicates of one of the
prettiest of Miss Alice Roosevelt's
frocks was explained by Mrs. William
JAY, who said: There has been no I'M
pleasantness about il at all, although
no girl likes to have one of her pref.
test frocks duplicated, you know.
"Some time in the late fall Miss
Roosevelt came to New York city and
ordered from a modiste a gown made
up of white cloth and trimmed with
Russian lace. 1t was supposed to be
an exclusive model. Before she had
appeared in il the gowns for the bride
maids of Miss Helen l.. kountze were
made. Miss Kount2e went to the same
modiste. Before the wedding my
daughter. one of Miss kounlHe's bride.
maids. discovered that the bridesmaids
gowns were replica, of Miss Roose'
velt's."
The actual denouement came at q
tea in Washington, when the daughter
of the president and Miss Alice Ward
appeared in their similar frocks.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1903-07-23
A Most Liberal Offer.

All our farmer readers should take
advantage OF the unprecedented club
bling offer We this year make, which
includes with this paper the Live
Stock Indicator, tsSpecial Farmers
Institute editions and The Poultry
Farmer. These three publications
are the bestof their class and should
be in every farm home. To them We
add, for local, county and general
news, our own paper, and make the
price OF the four one year only S1,25.
Never before was so much superior
reading matter offered for so small
an amount of money. The three
papers named, which we club with
our own, are well known throughout
the west, and commend themselves
to the readers favorable attention
upon mere mention. The Live Stock
Indicator ia the great agricultural
and live stock paper ofthe west. The
Poultry Farmer is the most practical
poultry paper for the farmer, while
the Special Farmers Institute Edi-
tions are the most practical publica-
tions for the promotion oi good
farming ever published. Take ad-
vantage of this great offer, as it will
hold good for n short time only.
Samples OF these papers may be ex-
amined by calling at this office. 7-6m
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1903-07-23
ACQUIRING PRIVATE PARKS.
W ealthy Men of New York city buy
ing Up Extensive Tracts of
Lan lis Along Hudson.

j. Pierpont Morgan. f.. II. Hartman
and James Stillman are said to be at
the head of Il movement Ia acquire wild
lands for the founding of u private
park and "a summer colony in the high
lands of the Hudson, between Fort
Montgomery and Newburg. For sew
eral years many tracts have been
quietly purchased by Mr.. Morgan,
whose country residence is south of
West Point. To the southwest of West
Point Mr.. Hartman has been buying
land. His tract lies to the north of
Tuxedo, in the valley up to Arden, a
splendid park of itself already.
Now it has been discovered that Mr..
Stillman has brought through other
people thousands of acres upon the
mountains along the edge of Cornwall.
The three properties do not join, but,
month by month, are coming closer to-
gether.
There only remain about 1000 acres
of woodland upon the mountain sides,
which are of little value under the
present conditions save to these men.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1903-07-23
Has New Telephone system.

Thomas Paul, of yorktown, says he
has invented telephone that saves
half the cost of the present system.
and which he will patent in the United
States and Canada. Outwardly his
system is the same as the Bell, but the
connection is direct to the hello girl.
By merely lingering the mechanism
she connects the subscribers. Mr.. Paul
says the machinery in the central of.
fees is much simpler than that now in
use in Canada and the United States,
and takes up only about half the space.
There are other features of the inven-
tion which would enable an operator
to handle twice as many phones as at
present.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1903-07-23
A War % chineh Bugs.

Columbia, Mo-, July 13-Theagri-
culture college OF the University OF
Missouri has published bulletin on
ehineh bugs. 1t advises farmers to
burn up old brush heaps in the spring
i'm which bugs are sure to spend the
winter; to spray the edges Of corn
fields with a solution of kerosene
when the bugs and migrating; topre-
pare dusty belts around the field with
deep bitches running the length Of
them with an occasion post-hole, in
to which the bugs will fall when pass
ing. In regard to the chinch bug dis
ease, Prof. J. NJ. Stedman, author OF
the bulletin, says:
"From seven years experience and
observation with this disease In the
wheat fields throughout the state
OF Missouri. | am firmly convinced
that the artificial use OF this disease
by the farmers OF Missouri does very
little il any good"