davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
\ Long Dance.

William Kemp, IN English comic nc.
'or VINO houriSh"d during tho last wear;
Oh queen EiiZ:;bH;h and who brIonre,l
10 TN" same company rs Shakespeare
ana "Cr"atcd' Doybcrry, danced from
London to Norwich. Il distance of ia
inii"S. III" WAS accompanied by Il scry
ant, an umpire and man with a tabor
ana pin" Crowds hind"rCd his start
on irD. II, lGlo, and many met him nj
every place. Several tried TO dnncc
win nm, but noEH could rival his pncc
Ihc most success sful w"rc women A.
though delayed hy n SnowStorn. he did
IL III nlnc days, and on the way accent
Ell Il challenge or two. each time com.
lnS OIL best. except when Il Chelmsford
maiden of fourteen danced till hc wos
ready to lie down." On his return lie
wrote an account OF it. which ends
Win warming to those with whom he
had made wagcrs that if they did not
pay up hc would publish their names.
The Mine Daics' Wonder" ns the titlc
runs, Is merry, readable pamphlet.
Among otl,cr curious information I'm II
Is inc statement that the customary
way to deal with pickDockets Mt the
thchtcr in those days was to tic them
to post.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Save the Children.

Ninety nine of every one hundred
caused by indigestion. Kodol Dyspep-
sia Cure is just as good for children as
it is for adults. Children thrive on it.
1t keeps their little stomachs sweet and
encourages their growth and develop.
ment; Mrs; Henry Carter, 7o5 Central
boy is now three years old and he has
been suffering from indigestion ever
since he was born. l have had the
best doctors in Nashville, but failed to
do him any good After using one
bottle of Kodol he is a we'll baby.
recommend it to all sufferers" Kodol
digcsts what you eat and makes the
stomach sweet. Sold by +. G. Duke.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
The Anatomy of n Lounge.

The modern interest in science
through Conservation" has become
more or less of mania. Even the chill
dren are bitten by it. The Little Chron-
icle says that George, aged five, takes
n great interest I'm physiology and anat-
omy.
One day some members of the family
had been studying dissected porcu-
pine and making drawings of the bones.
Not long after his sisters took an old
lounge apart, and Georgle watched
them. Presently he came running to
another member Of the family, his eyes
on fire, his cheeks flushed and his locks
flying behind him.
"Come, come!' he cried. "If you want
to study physerology now's your
chance. The girls have got the lounge
all to piecesv'-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
GUARDIAN CRANES.
Tesy Take the Place OF shepherd
Dogs In Venezuela

They Take the Place OF sheph.rA
Dogs I'm Venezuela.
Ihe natives of Venezuela and nd.
Joining countries OF the north side OF
the river Amazon often avail them
selves or the services of n native crane
10 care for their poultry and also. in
tne place OF collies or shepherd dogs. to
guard and herd their domestic animals
This remarkable bird, which the In.
dians call yakamik, and the ornithoIo-
sists Psophia crepitans. Is found in a
Wid. state fnAthe great forests which
sou,S Re.Mssq N@sqrcah h Ind ae as88as
particularly I'm Venezuela and British
Guiana. The birds never leave the for
ests unless shot or captured. They may
be trusted with the care Of flock of
sheep or domestic fowls and every
morning will drive the ducks and poul-
try to their feeding, places rnd. care
fully collecting any stragslcrS. bring
them safely home at night. 4 yakamik
soon learns to know and obey the voice
Of It's muster. follows him. when per
mitted, wherever lie goes and appears
delighted Mt receiving his carcsscs.
1t pines Mt his absence and welcomes
his return and is extremely jealous Of
any rival. Should any do: or cat ap.
proach 1t flies ut it with thr utmost
fury and, attacking it with wing md
beak, drives 1t away. 1t presents itself
regularly during meals. from Which it
ehases all domestic animals and even
the negroes who wait on Il; fable II 1t
- not well acquainted with Mem. and
only asks for share Of the catahlcs
after It has driven away all who might
aspire TO favorable notice from the
family.-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
No Language of Their own.

Among the peoples Of the world the
Swiss are alone in having no language
they can call their own. According to
a recent visitor to the little country,
about three -fourths of the people Of
Switzerland speak German, while the
remainder divide four other languages
among them, mainly French and Ital-
ian, the languages varying as a rule
according to the proximity Of the peo-
pie to each country whose tongue they
speak Public documents and notices
are printed in both French and Ger
man.
In the Swiss congress, or national
parliament, the members make Their
speeches either in French or German
for nearly all the members understand
both languages. The orders Of the pres
ident are translated by an official In
terprcter and furnished to the newspa
pers in both languages.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
cures Blood Poison, Cancer. Ulcers

If you have offensive pimnles or
Seruptions,. ulcers on any part of tho
Dody, aching bones or Joints, failin"
halr' mucous patches, swollen glands
saiin, sa,m ,.cncs and burns, sore lips or gums,
ea.'hg, fostering sores, sharp, rna WING
pains, then YOU suffer from Sc ,;5ns bionS
poison or the beginnings of /. ,.SdIy can.
GER You may be permanently cnrnh
by taking fo;anic Blood Balm (B. B.
-, ~ made esp:claliy to cure the worst
blood and skin diseases. Heals everw
sore or ulcer, even deadly cancer. stons
all aches and pains and reduces iii
swcllings. Botanic Blood Balm .,ro.
all maligant blood troubles, such 80
,;,s. ri;mema, scabs and scales, pimples, run.
glsts. 81. To Irovc it cures. somrIo e.
Blood faim sent free and prepaid bw
whiting Blood Balm Co., Atlanta O..
Describe troub c and free medical ad.
wee sent III scaled letter. +. c.. Duke.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
HOME NEWS.
Of Interest To O-Every-
one In Union.

In every newspaper in the country
you will read statements made by
,,eople living in out-of-the-way places
who are supposed to have been cured
or derived great benefit from some won
derful remedy or "cure ALL" But here
In Union we only publish statements
made by Union people-the testimony
Of your friends, neighbors and fellow
townsmen,
J. NJ. Mardis, retired farmer, a veter-
an Of the Civil War, residing at % Lii
brand Street, says: "I have used Doan's
Ointment with very satisfactory results.
For long time / suffered from itching
piles. lost my leg in the war, but l
have suffered more from the intolerable
itching than I ever did with the leg,
and there seeHied - be no relief hight
or day. It was "a q pstaft torture and
the more l scrsS ~AeYGbe more it itdSed.
/ have done eTsrything TO try and re-
lieve 1t, but to no purpose until l read
about Doan's Kidney Pills and Doan's
Ointment and procured box of the
latter at Holmes Pharmacy. The salve
stopped the itching on the first applica.
tion and can now say entirely cured
Il. You are welcome to use my name
as m endorser of the claims made 70,
this remedy" For sale by all dealers
Price SOC per box. Foster-Milburn Co.
Buffalo, N. Y, sole agents for thu
United States, Remember the name
DOAN'S-and take no other.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Had u Choice.

The dude was descanting to the maid.
on OH its likes and dislikes.
Aw, doncher know, Miss De Blue
son, L wouldn't he pwimc minister un-
dah any circumstances" it announced
superciliously. 81 should refuse it even
II 1t were offered me. 1t is such a twy-
Ing post. with so much to do, donchcr
know"
Indeed" she said, lifting her eye
brows meaningly.
Yes, Miss De Blueson," it went on.
"bnt should deahly love to be secwe-
tawy to the. admiralty, donchcr know.
raw L could have such splendid oppaw-
tunities faw yachting, donchcr know"
ihen 1t was the girl rose and. .Ma.t
pink lined basket. t.-London Judy.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Cures Ch0IeFa .lnfauium
REmlnIsdscEs.


DO YOU remember where the little bova
!ndulgcd In innocent and harmless ioys7
~ Is yon dcsolate and parchIng spot
There on the rank wspd ridden yasn nt II,
Whers once their lauNbser cchoedsto the
AS they threw snowNala at the passer by
10 you remember where the snow man
stood, ~
WIN WITH eyes OF coal and skeseton Of wood?
ihat Is the placc-that patch of blistered
lawn @N
neglected. even by the dew of dawn.
Ihere where Industrious ants with pru-
dent haste
Are burrowing to shun the arid waste.
AND do you sec that man. that swelter-
Ing wretch
whose suffering Dante might delight to
sketch :"
Whose collar willis. who gazcs hollow
eyed "
Adown the street where once he walked
with pride? e'
lis he who wrote In wintry DAYS much
rhyme
ABOUT the gentle joys of summer time.
washington Star.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Curiosfties OF Color.

After any severe shock you will be
very likely to find that you have be-
come temporarily color blind.
Your perception of green light has
probably gone, at least partially. White
objects will then appear to you of a
reddish purple and green objects to be
very much duller in hue than Ordi-
narily.
Any one can make himself or herself
temporarily color blind by wearing q
pair of ruby red glasses. The prolonged
action Of red light on the eyes ends by
tiring out the nerves which receive red
light. Consequently when the glasses
are at last removed rainbow appears
to have only two col0rs-yellow and
blue.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
The Parsons Idea.

"l'arson," said the colorcd brother.
don't YOU think dat by dis time de
place what Satan live Mt ortcr bc chock
full?"
"Well,' replied the parson, "'cordin'
tcr all human celebrations hit ortcr
be, but you kin depcn' OH one thing"
EN- what's dat?"
Satan amt gwinc let 'cm fool him
In tie real estate business en- gobblc ND
dc outlyin' coal lan's whilst dcys one
sinner lcf' In de worl'w-Atlanta Con.
stitution.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
To Save Being Su-,citcd.

THIS young$tcr. like most boys, is
very fond of His ratcrnal grandmother.
She took charge OF the lolsc while the
mother went away for Il week not long
ago.
One day lie was rather obstrcpcrous,
and the grandmother remarked: "lf l
had the care Of YOU all the time, Guy, l
shouldn't allow you TO do many things
that overlook this week ] am afraid
you wouldn't love mo so much then"
well" replied Guy, II suppose it
would be like ice cr2am-if we had it
all the time 1 s'pose we wonllnt care
much about 1t anyway" ."-Chattanooga
Times.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Money Talks.

II suppose Dumley likes to argue as
much as ever and is continually worst
ed as usual"
"No; he's more successful now since
he got wealthy"
what has his wealth to do with it7"
"Well, when he sees he's losing he
Just offers to bet hundred and that
settles t."-Philadelphia Press.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Lite and Accident Insurance.

The Aetna Life Insurance writes
case Of accident or sickness. The
only Old Line Company in the United
States to do this. Rates are very
reasonable. This company is well
known and comment is unnecessary.
am representing the above Com
pany and will be pleased to call on
any one wishing insurance. Write
me at Carlisle, S. G.
46-tf w. F. BATES, Agent.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Incndurnl,Ic

M'!-Dld you ever meet a man YOU
JUST couldn't possibly endure?
Fay-Ycs; one.
May-Who was he?
fay--A man 1 tried for a week to
make propose and baltimore
American.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Eat All YOU Want,

Persons tronbled with Indigestion
or Dyspepsia can eat all they want if
they take Kodol Dyspepsia Cure. This
remedy prepares the stomach for the
reception, retention, digestion, and as.
sanitation of all the wholesome food
that may be eaten and enables the di-
gestlve organs to transform the same
INTO the kind of blood that gives health
and strength. Sold by f, G.. Duke.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
A Good Reason-

Mrs. Grccnc-What do you have an
alarm clock in your chamber for n Won
"on nave the alarm wound up?
Mrs. Eray-lf you could have heard
inc awful things my husband said
"heh the alarm went Off YOU wouldn.t
ask me.-Boston 1ranscript
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
UnNpprecinted.

"Do you believe" said the lady with
the scar and yellow. "that the good die
youngT
HOW could II" exclaimed the fat
terer. How could I, and you so good
-er-that is"-
"Sir!'-Baltimore News.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
HeR PERFORMANCE.

heR Performances.
Bellows-Docs your daughter play on
the piano?
Old Farmer Qn tones of deep disgusb
NO, sir. She works on ii, pounds on
It, rakes 1t, scrapes It. jumps on it and
Tolls over on 1t. but there's no play
about It, sir.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
SCannfnU His Native

You can't be dead sure tx n yo,ro
nun Is saving to get married just be.
ca"Sc lie stops smoking cigars and be-
gins 10 smoke pipe.-I,oston Globe.
no; he may be smoking the pipe to
get even with the observation-disclosures
land Plain Dealer.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Self Eon.,,.A4

Say. pa" querlod snls Bobby,
what is soss!plng. nnywayrN
"Gosslping, my stn," replied the old
man, III we get Eght down to the
plain, unvarnished facts, is lying. But
why did you askY'
Because" answered the young in
vestigator, INA says yo& do lot of
gosslping every time your business
Keeps you late at the office."-Ex.
change.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Progress.

The Husband-Do you think, my
dear, that all this so called culture,
these fads, these lectures and ethical
and philosophical movements Of yours
really do you any good?
The Wife-Incalculable good! why,
every day / live I appreciate more and
more fully what an insignificant crea.
ture man is!-Iife.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Potent Pill Pleasure.

The pills that are potent in ther.action
and pleasant in their effect are DeWitt's
Little Early Risers. w. s. Philpot, of
Albany, Ga, "During bilious attack
took one. Small as it was. it did me
more good than Calomel, blue mass or
any other Pills I ever took and at the
same time it affected me pleasantly
Little Early Risers are certainly an
ideal pill. Sold by f. c. Duke.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07

"Why, children, what in the world
are you perched up on that sharp rail
fence for?"
because we're playin' millionaire
and Tommie's John Pccrpunt Morgan,
and he made all the rest of us get off
the earth. Tribune.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Out of the ErYinn pan

Husband-Shc is by all odds. tina
worst cook we ever had.
Nife-l know it. But she is going
10 stay until we get some one else.
That's good. didn't know but you
would have to cook the meals."-De-
troit Free Press.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Getting Acquainted.

Mr.. Stayout-Say, old boy, they tell
me you have given up oil your clubs
and that you never go out Mt night any
more.
Mr.. Stayin-Yes; getting so well ac-
quointed Mt home that my wife is be-
ginning to call me by my first name.-
New York Times.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
A Cold Refusal.

willie-This Is an excellent picture
or you, Miss Marie. I wish l owned
the original.
Marie-You may have the negative
ftttsburg Dispatch.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
He Took the Hint.

The bashful lover drew his breath
And made an effort grand.
'T wish I were the glove" he cried,
THAT rests upon your hand!'
She blushed n trine and replied,
II must admire your taste,
But would rather that you were
The belt around my waist"
SMeLandburgh Wilson in New York
Times.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Getting Wise.

Ma Hardscrabble-Pa, don't you
think we might take in a few O. them
summer boarders? ID
Pa Hardscrabble-Waal, ma, don't
know. Them thar city folks amt so
green ez they pear to be.-Baltimore
American.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
His Finish,

"What was that awful shrek / just
hcard?" asked the author ncrvously.
''rhat." explained Tho stage manager
as he hurried toward tie door. was
the star in the death scene. The audi
cnce has got E!m."--Ncw Yorker.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
His Real Worth.

"Do you suppose old Pscadds has any
idea how much he Is really worthT'
"No. IL he had he wouldn't give HIM
self so many airs on account Of the
money he happens to possess."---Chica.
60 Tribune.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
How II Affected Him.

Mrs Brownovich-I understand your
husband is seriously I'll.
Mrs. Smithinssy-Yes. He's too Ill TO
do anything except make good resolu-
tions.--Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Witt Is the Name,

When you go to buy Dewitt Witch
Hazel Salve look for the name DeWITT
an every box. The pure, unadultcratod
Witch Hazel is used in making Dc
Wits Witch Hazel Salve, which is the
best Salve in the world for cuts, burns.
bruises, boils, eczema and piles. The
popularity of DeWitt's Witch Hazel
Salve, due to its many cures, has caused
numerous worthless counterfeiters to
be placed on the market. The genuine
bears the name Of T.. C. Dewitt 4 Co.
Sold by +. G.. Duke.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
10 Cure q Cold In One Dau

iakr Laxative Brcmo Qninne Tablets.
All druggists refund The money if il fails
cure. e W. Groves signature on
"'h 'H'%. 2". 61y
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
Activity

1ou say you take automobile rides
Tor the sake of excrcisc?"
"Ccrtainly"
but where docs the physical cxcr-
else come in:"
Gctting out to soc what the mutter
1s."-Washington Star.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-08-07
In Training.

The Brothcr-.Yep; I'm goin' to match
MIN against Willie Jinks' kid brother
In long distance cryin' match.-New
York American.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1903-06-16
sOCIABLE A. C. WRESTLING.
MathIasen Won the Gold Chain-BOat Race
on Saturday.

In the wrestling match at the So
oiable A. O. club rooms, Park avenue,
last night, Walder Mathiasen was de-
clared the winner of the-gold chain.
-Four wrestlers were present. Henry
Axen and Christian Larsen wrestled
for fifteen minutes in the first go and
it was called draw. Henry Axen,
the winner of the chain the first two
times it was pat up, and Larsen won
it at the last three matches. Walde1
Mathiasen and Peter Anderson were
on for thirty five seconds and Mathia-
sen was declared the winner.
Before the bouts were started the
boat race was up for discussion. II
was decided to hold it this Saturday
afternoon. The boat committee, Hans
Larsen, chairman, II. P. Hansen and
T. H. Christensen, have purchased all
the prizes. The first prize will be on
exhibition but the next two prizes
will not be shown until after the race
has been run off.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1903-06-16
PERTH AMgOY EVENING NEWS TUESDAY JUNE I6. lgOs
OnIv one Gas Yet 70 ne soIidined.

Only One Gas Yet to BE sOIidihed.
Profs. Moissan and Dewar have
lately succeeded, with the aid of
liquid hydrogen, in sohdifying huorin,
and they remark that helium is now
the only gas which has not been OBJ
tanned in the solid state. An interest
ing result of the experiments was the
demonstration that, although chem
hal activity tends to cease at ex-
sremely low temperatures, yet
huorin, which is known to possess
more powerful affinities than any
other element, is capable, even when
reduced to the solid state, of com
bining with liquid hydrogen. Such a
combination, accompanied with a
violent explosion, was produced when
the solid fiuorin and liquid hydrogen
were kept at a temperature of -252.5
degrees Centigrade, equivalent to
1925 degrees Fahrenheit below zero.
Science
Perth Amboy evening news., 1903-06-16

WRESTLING GOSSIP.

Ernest Roeber is figuring on making
trip through several of the big
European cities, similar to the.on he
took about four years ago. At the
time, Roeber was on top, and he had
no trouble securing engagements. A
German wrestling promoter has as
sured Roeber a good round sum if he
undertakes the trip, which will com
prise six months tour through Ger
many, Sweden, Belgium and Den
mark. Roeber has not decided what
to do as yet. He is in business in
New York and finds it a difficult thing
to get some one to attend to it proper
ly4 while he is away.
Otto Kiefer, manager of Carl Pons,
the big Frenohman, has issued the
following challenge on behalf of his
man: "Pons is ready to meet any
Graeco- Roman wrestler in the country
for side bet and the best purse OBJ
tainable. He is not afraid of any one.
no matter how much the weight. So
called champions, especially John
Piening are preferred. We have been
after Piening for nearly a year, but
the best thing we could induce his
manager to do was to engage in an
exhibition bout at Baltimore, in which
he no more than held his own.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1903-06-16
READY FOR HANSEN
AND PASCAL BOUT
MrestIers are in Great Trim for
the Match in Wilder
Hall Tonight.

Men are working today putting up
the platform in Wilder Hall for the
Hansen Pascal go tonight. Both
wrestlers are In fine form and it will
be match worth seeing by the sports.
When Hansen was seen by a News
reporter this morning after his return
from New York, where ne has been in
training for the last week, he said
that he was in pretty good condition
and that tonight he would be able to
give the Prussian a hustle for his
dough. He admitted that he was up
against it when he accepted Pascal 8
challenge for a go in the catch-as-
catch-can style as the Prussian is a
great wrestler in that line.ss The sports
who saw the last match claim that it
was one of the cleanest bouts ever run
off in Perth Amboy.
In the preliminaries Aage Christen-
sen, a pupil of Beck Oleson, who has
just arrived in America, and who has
with him two first class medals for
Graeco- Roman wrestling in his native
land.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1903-06-16
His Inside InformntIon.

A Christian Scientist, while walk
ing IN the country, came across q
small boy sitting under an apple
tree, doubled up with pain.
my little man." he said, ''what is
the matter2"
II ate some green apples," moaned
the boy, ''and, oh, how l ache!"
"You don't ache" answered the
follower of Mrs. Eddy; you only
think so."
The boy looked up in astonishment
at such statement, and then re
piled, in most positive manner:
That's all right; you may think
SO, but I've got inside information.
Philadelphia Ledger.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1903-06-16

The president of the United States
will have private entrance for him.
self and family in the fine new rail-
road station now being constructed
in Washington. Mr.. Cleveland used to
escape the crowds by having his driver
take him to the forward ends of the
trains, instead of entering at the front
Of the station, but even this refuge is
no longer practicable, so the private
entrance has been arranged.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1903-06-16
Junior Mines.

The Willow A. o. would like to
hear from all teams, averaging four
teen years, for games to be played in
or out of town. Following is the
lineup: John Dietz, 1st b; Daniel
Belafsky, 2nd b; Howard Richard, rf
Lawrence Mullen, IS; George Smith,
If; Hans Hansen, Of; John Tongeson,
Sd b; Bert Nebel, @; Walter Moore, p.
Address, Daniel Belafsky,. 227 Smith
street.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1903-06-16

"Women evidently have no sense OF
humor," remarked the bald-headed
philosopher.
"Why do you think thusly?" asked
the youth with the ingrowing mus
tache.
eff they had,' replied the philosophy
dispenser, "they would never get past
the love, honor and obey part of the
marriage ceremony without an audi
BILE giggle. Chicago Daily News.