The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1903-07-07
"TANGIBLE SORROW. y
As Expressed by the Mourpers ait thu
Obsequien of Departed
COIOred Brother.

The church was crowded with sorrow
ing mourners; The men sat on the RICH
size, and the women on the left; ban
dana handkerchiefs were in evidence
There was much shifting and wailins
and bowling. Brother j. was the
preacher, and sat directly behind the
coffin, facing the congregation. He
had asked Brother Gardner. the pre-,
siding elder, to say few words about
the dear departed. Brother Gardner
arose, clearing his throat Vigorously
and wiping his eyes again and again
lie glanced toward the Amen corner.
! where sat the bereayed widow Matil-
da and long, row of fatherless chill
dren. Clearing his throat again, he
began in the most solemn and holy
tone relates the Boston Transcript.
'Bredderin' an belubbed friends of
the po'r departed Brudder Jinkins:
We is gaddered here agin to-day to
mourn de obsequies oh dis here pillar
oh de church, him was a lily OBJ de
valley a flower oh de flock an de
shepherd OBJ Israel; him was de best
husband an fadder dat any oman eb-
Der had; him was a chile OBJ de Lord;
him was de best man dat ebber trod
de streets OBJ Fernandna. an we as
sembles to offer our sympathies to-
day to po'r Sister Matilda. an dem 10
head of fatherless chillen."
Howl after howl went up; some of
the visitors felt impressed with the
Importance of the late brother, and
sympathized deeply with the poor sor-
rowing widow, and wondered how the
church would ever get along without
him.
Suddenly Brother johnson, the
preacher, interrupted him as he was
about to continue his fowery praise,
and, standing on tiptoes and scream
ing out with all his might, called in
laundering tones:
"Brudder Gardner. am yo' throo'?
Am yo' throo' tellin' all dem beauti-
full lies? ! want yo' to know dat mig
ger am dade; him's a long way past
whar dem beautiful lies of yourn am
gwine to do him any good whatsomeb-
Der, and him's long ways past whar
my trufe am gwine to hurt him, an
Ise gwine to tell de truf about dat
niger! Him was the dead beatenest
niger Fernandina ebber seed! Him
was drunk hand runnin' ebber night
TO 40 years. Yo' an l. Brudder Gard
ner, amt done nothin' but pull him
out oh de callaboose thousands of
times" (pointing to the dead); hump,
20 know, OATS de trufe, ole man. no
'sputin' wild me now; lie down dar
quiet, ! say; de Lord knows yo' would
be drunk dis minute if de debbil didn't
hab yo. or had any whisky dar YOU
could buy ! want de congregation to
stop all dat sniffin' round here ober
dat lazy, trifin', drunken niger; an
as fo' wastin your sorrow ober po'r
Sister Matilda an dem 13 hade OBJ fad
derless chillen. I, me, myself fink she
done made mighty good riddance of
bad rubbish with loving glance to-
ward the Amen corner), IAN ! hope
the fust young buck she'll spark will
be me! An what's more. dis here mig
ger cost me money fo' dis box to bury
him in; Ise out of pocket five dollars,
an lse gwine to be disembursed befo'
Leah de meetin'!
"Ho'se all sayin' yo'se sorry round
here; now Use gwine to glib vo' de
chance to show how sorry yo' am, sho'
'nough; come along heah ebbery last
one of yo an put yo' money down in
tangible sorrow an show how sorry
yo' is; walk long up libely now an
put yo' money down.
SISTER Polly Ann yo's workin' fo'
SIS month; yo' handkerchief done say
yo's sorry lot; what yo' pocketbool
t'ink about it? How sorry is yo', Sister
Polly?"
Sister Polly tucked away her hand
kercnief and sailing up the aisle, plain
lively said; Else sorry fo' bits" and
laid down so cents upon the coffin.
The preacher kept on with the col
lection. How sorry is yo', Brudder
Gardner? come long up here an lay
down yo' money! How sorry is de
mudder OBJ de church? ?"
The mother of the church walked up
and was sorry "six bits" and laid down
her money.
How sorry is yo', Sister Amp"
Sister Ann grieved to the extent of
TWO DTS, and so on through the con-
gregation, the women hurried up the
aisle, proud of a chance to show off
their new frocks, and put down their
money in tangible sorrow" until an
old auntie hobbled up on her cane un-
ill she reached the coffin, then wheel
ing about and facing the congregation,
she exclaimed:
II nebber hear de trufe told befo' at
any niger funeral, an lse gwine to
tell de trufe. Brother Jinkins was the
meanest niger de Lord ebber made,
an | amt sorry one picayunel" and
here she gave the edge of the coffin a
laundering rap with her cane, 40
yo' shore stole ebbery hog l ebber had
in Fernandina."
And thus Brother johnson called out
an honest expression of tangible sor-
row" to the amount of SLOTS; SIS he
put instantly into his pocket, the rest
he turned over to the widow; and in
less than two weeks he was the proud
possessor of the remainder of the
funeral money, for he bravely married
the widow and 10 head" of father