The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12
HOW BIZ WAS CURED.


snarled about the way his wife at
tended to his clothing and always
complained that the baby cried inces-
sanity.
Mrs. Grumble's brother Tom de-
cided that it was time to stop this state
of affairs, and one night Mr.. Grumble
came home and encountered an old
man whom his wife introduced as
Uncle Tompkins. Now, this hither-
to unheard of uncle proved himself
extremely peevish and irascible from
the start.
"Grumble, (" said he, ST wish you'd
stop that creaking of your chair. My
nerves are so weak, and if you could
keep your children upstairs their
racket wouldn't disturb me so much.
I really don't know how I am going
to stand that baby's noise"
Mrs Grumble, who was poking the
fire, in accordance with her uncle's
petulant request, said nothing, but
smiled quietly.
Well" remarked Uncle Tomp-
kins, "all babies are noisy. And, by
the way, Grumble, wish you would
oil the hinges Of that squeaking door.
And I don't like the smell of that
geranium in the window. Helloa |!
You haven't any top button on your
shirt front ! I hope my niece isn't a
careless wife r.
mot at all, sir" said Mr.. Grum-
bic nervously, "but the care of her
child and housekeeping duties absorb
a great deal of her time. The in
slant she finds leisure she will look
to my clothes"
II don't see how woman can
spend her whole time keeping house
and looking after a pack of chill
dren," observed Uncle Tompkins in
credulously.
About Ioo'clock the old gentleman
was ushered to the spare room, ac-
companied by a procession of medi-
cine vials, tub of hot water, woolen
dressing robes and heated blankets
for his feet, and his absence occasion
ed very general relief.
"What an insuferable old duffer
that is p exclaimed Mr.. Grumble,
throwing himself, with sigh of sat-
isfaction, into his favorite seat once
more. "My dear Bessie, how could
you endure his fault fnding?'
II am accustomed to that, Henry.
1t is lesson that most married wo-
men are obliged to learn" replied
Mrs. Grumble, with slight sigh.
Her husband pricked up his ears a
little uneasily. Accustomed to it ?"
What did she mean?
1t was not possible-it could not be
possible that he was like that odious
old Uncle Tompkins. And yet he
wished Bessie had not spoken in that
way. Somehow it made him feel
very uncomfortable. Three days
passed away, Uncle Tompkins grow
ing more intolerable the whole time,
while Mr.. Grumble improved the oc-
casion by making sort of looking
glass of that worthy old gentleman.
"Upon-my-word," he said to
himself, "I must have made perfect
nuisance of myself all these years.
Why didn't somebody tell me of it 2"
At length Uncle Tompkins went
away, flannel, robe, medicine bottle
and all, and on the evening of the
same day Tom Carlton arrived from
a temporary absence, nobody knew
where.
$50 uncle has been visiting you %
he said gayly to Mr.. Grumble.
"Yes," said the latter with a slight
grimace.
"What sort of a looking man is he!"
Mr.. Grumble was silent for mo.
ment.
"Do you know" he exclaimed,
bursting into perplexed laugh, II
couldn't describe a single feature Of
his face. He was always enveloped,
like an Egyptian mummy, in a silk
handkerchief, something like that one
you have in your hand.
"The most intolerant fault finder ]
ever met with, absolutely the most
disagreeable man who ever numbered
the earth ! I don't see how it is pos.
sible to growl at everything as he
did,"
That's not an uncommon thing,
believe" observed Tom, demurely
smiling.
every likely" said his brother-in-
law emphatically, "but his visit has
been productive of at least one effect.
It has completely cured me Of any
tendency I might have had that
way. I for one mean to leave of
grumbling."
II am happy to hear it, Nephew
Grumble, exclaimed a cracked voice,
The victimized man started up in
dismay. hardly believing the testi.
mony of his senses as Tom twisted
the silk handkerchief skillfully round
his head and bent himself nearly dou.
BILE, with an asthmatic sound between
a groan and a grunt.
"Why, you don't mean to say that
you are Uncle Tompkins?" exclaim'
ed Mr.. Grumble.
Pardon me, Henry" said Tom,
smiling, "but saw that you had'un.
consciously become habitual grum'
bier, and 1 judged that the best anti
dote was faithful representation O
your own failings. Was I right 7"
His brother-i -in-law was half in.
clined to be angry, but thought bet
ter of it.
"Shake hands, Tom," said he
You're an irreverent young scamp
but forgive you. At all events th'
cure is complete"
And so Bessie found it.
A WESTERN teacher, instructing :
class in composition, said do no
attempt anv flights of fancy be your