The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-04-04
From the New York Mail and Express

W Captain Blank of the United States navy told the following story about a certain shallow-pated naval chaplain, who was looked upon with scant respect by his brother officers. From trav- cling salesman the man had turned preacher, and, backed by influence. came to Washington in MT. Cleveland's time to get naval chaplaincy. When he was introduced at the White House, Mr. Cleve- land looked him over in his grave pene- trating way, and said:
 MT Blank, this Is no case for favor itism we want a man of merit and ability for this post"
 The applicant rejoined:
 MT. President, if 1t is Gods will that I go into the navy, neither you nor any one else can keep me out"
 The President eyed him for moment and then said dryly:
 "Well, MT. Blank, I'll do my part, any way. Good morning.
 "The cream of the joke is,' said the narrator, that the fellow-who really did get into the navy 1ater-told the
  ing. And as I left that room 1 had a strong conviction that it was not the will of Providence that I should enter the navy at that time
 
 It was at a dinner at the Tilden club. Several men had responded to toasts, when finally a clubman well known in society, something of first-nighter, and who practices law when the mood is on him, was called on for speech. He is known as a raconteur, but his ability to entertain a crowd is rather that Of a story teller when demi-tasse and cigars are served than as an orator with sonor- ous delivery He Is quite wealthy.
 "Gentlemen," he began, T do not know why I was called on for a speech. The honor should have been awarded to oth- CTS However, have one qualification that entities me to consideration. It is that know how to be brief. Gentlemen, this all have to say It is a speech of five words, and here it is: Let me pay the bill
 The applause which followed the short
  tionably the greatest after dinner speech that had ever been delivered In the Tilden club. It has become historic.
 The teaching of the gospel among the poor and lowly is sometimes attended by unexpected results. One zealous young missionary to the tenements makes the following confession: She had labored long and earnestly to install little Bible history into the understanding of one par ticularly obdurate old pagan woman, who pormptly forgot the few lessons she learned The difficulty of exciting her interest seemed to be the principal one. Literal readings and paraphrases alike failed to reach her sympathies. Finally one day the missionary put her whole heart and gift of paraphrase into saw that her listener was aroused at last and showed uuine emotion. The re- cital came to an end, and there was an impressive pause. The teacher waited for her pupil to speak firrt, and presently the silence was broken by the old wom- an. who remarked consolingly; "Ah, well, let us hope 1t ain't true
 One of the singular developments Of lower Manhattan is that of the voiceless newsboy. He is the production of Park Row and its vicinity, and Park Row Is nroud of him. True, he is the twin product of the system which evolved the circus-poster headline, but today his re- lation to 1t Is remote. During the Cuban war he discovered that when the head lines were eight inches high he could sx- pose them and save his voice. Then, lit- tie by little, he learned that even the normal newspaper would sell itself with out vociferous announcement If 1t were properly displayed instead of being car ried in a bundle. So, with considerable ingenuity, he improvised a rack along the length of his arm, and held his peace. The plan has proved successful and he has adhered to it.
 Today a score of newsboys save untold foot-pounds of energy by this simple oe- vice, but the fashion does not seem to have spread beyond the particular whirl- pool of humanity for and on account of which it was especially devised
 
 s.Vhat,s the differanoA between A bishou