The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-08-10
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Deacon Coopah-But wondah dem
gals II weah sech bathin' suits! Dere's
been some pow'ful preachin' ag'in it.
His Wife-Yais; but 1 reckon dem
gals am gwinter take dere styles from
de fashion magazines an not from de
pulpit Puck.
De difference between a jedge an a
referee is dat one has de law to back
him up when he's wrong, an de odder
has to climb outer de winder an ay
fur his life wheG he's right.-Detroit
Free Press.
1T looks very much as If you we're
putting the interests of a, certain cor
poration above the interests of your
country" said the man who does not
hesitate to speak plainly.
We'll" answered Senator Sorghum,
I've heard so much about republics be-
ing ungrateful that thought I'd better
take a chance on being appreciated else
Observation-Disclosures Star.
If man could sleep both night and day,
And count it in as toll for pay,
No doubt he would wake at
And stay awake till IL or more.
Washington Star.
L
why. yes. The Rev. DR.. Talkins per-
formed the marriage service"
We'll, 1 hope they'll always consider
it service."-Puck-
Your friends say you are very quick
at repartee."
1T is very kind of Them" answered
Miss Cayenne. That. 1 believe, is
polite way of saying that you mustn't
mind it if person says disagreeable
things Wa shin efOn Star.
Stella-But aren't you afraid of going
out beyond your depth?
Bella-Oh, no; all the men around
here think I'm an heiresS.-Puck.
La Montt-They say Harker has been
full of bitterness ever since he bought
that suburban home.
La MoyneNYes; 1 hear that he takes
quinine three times per day.-Philadel-
phia Record.
There is something can't under
stand,'' said the thoughtful young
scholar in Sunday school.
What's that, Robbie?" asked the
teacher. adjusting her spectacles-
why everybody seems to commend
George Washington for his conduct
tree, and they condemn Adam for his
fruit tree experience. Didn't Adam ow
UP that he done it?"-Yonkers States
man.
Mrs. Kindhart-Where were you
brought up. my poor MANI
Hungry Hogan Cbetween gulps, abb
sently)I think Boston wuz de last
place.-Puck-
He-'T have been trying to find some
trace of my ancestors" She-"1ndeed!
Did your ancestors wear traces ?"-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Little Johnny-''When 1 grow up I'm
going to be a diplomat" Sunday
School Teacher-''Why not be preach
err, like your handsome uncle?' Little
Johnpy-tCause pa SAYS preachers goes
TO hell if they lie, but diplomats gets
promoted. Chicago Record-Herald-
Don't you think it would be great
make a few speeches2" Not bit of
it" answered Senator Sorghum. AS
long as q man is willing to let ms
money do the talking. nobody is going
to make fun of his grammar. wash
ington Star.
Mifkins-"That scoundrel Jobson
called me an idiot" Rifkins He
but Bifkins-"Then I'd advise you
to let the matter Drop or he might =
Chicago Daily News
ldncfty- L OlBHlA Will COOSo1i' " "a
he? An did little Doogan do all that
damage to 'um?" Casey-"Not at ali.
Not at all, Thot wuz done by the
p'leeceman thot separated them.
Brooklyn Life.
Disguised Here. didn't you
advertise that there were no mosquitoes
in the country around Kinkleville?' p
I did, and there amt
either. They're all in town. Chicago |
Daily News.
Stranger (from city, Excuse me. sir,
but what's the lady using the broom |
for?" Mr.. Jaybird (native)-"Say, you're |
from town an don't know that? Why. !
all the city papers seq in their wedding |
news that the bride swept UP the |
aisle ''-Chfcago Daley News.