St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-16

| Charley at once"
| Il knew you would"
| Il suppose l am naturally perversc
1t is always the same-if anybody is
anxious that should do anything, ]
feel a natural impulse not to do ii;
and if anybody does not want me to
| do it, then somehow don't want to
| do anything else. 1t was this feeling
that made me run off with Charley
! almost before the nurse had finished
speaking"
did she punish you again??''
'She couldn't catch me-"
II guessed as much. Who can?"
He gazed at her meaningly, with a
| wry shake of the head, and she
hlushed and laughed, as understand
ing him.
Il ought to know" he sighed.
''Now you are going to be silly
again.
''No: I've given it up. I've been
silly twice, but l am trying to be
sensible now.''
You find it ditficult?'
cts not so easy as being silly.
suppose it never is, for anyone. But
I've got to persevere-I've got to
make the best of my miserable lot
somehow, you know"
$50 very unhappy, is it?'' ..
"-At present-yes. But daresay I
shall get used to it. When one has
been living in the tropics, and is
banished to the North Pole, he feels
at first like perishing in the cold;
acclimatized that if ever he were al
lowed to return he would certainly
die of sunstroke.'
And are you thinking of going to
the North Pole?"
He gazed at her reproachfully.
Il am there already" he said. Il
have been there for some weeks, and
am beginning to get reconciled 10
the climate. / am making up my
mind to marry and settle down there,
and try to forget how happy [ used
to be before L was an exile. You have
heard, no doubt?''
Heard what?'
''These things generally get about
fast enough. [ made sure you would
have heard"
perhaps l have. When you tell
me what you are referring to-"
Il thought L had. TO my marriage,
Of course
She gave him a quick, startled look,
but said nothing.
- You had heard?'
'.No.''
Her speech and manner had under
gone sudden curious constraint;
when she spoke, her voice had such
q far-off, alien sound, she could
scarcely believe it was her own.
''Well, now you have, you don't con-
graduate me.''
Il do. OF course / do
''Thanks-I had hoped
THAT 1 wouldn't? Why shouldn't
[ congratulate you, as much as any
one else. on your happiness?'
Because / am not happy"
Not? Then why are YOU ...
"For that very reason-because l
am not happy. How can | be happy
while I am always in suspense, and
hoping after the impossible? If I
definitely cut myself off from that
happiness, and my last hope Of it,
may he able to settle down into
some sort of resigned peacefulness,
you see. 1 can't hope for more than
that now. There was time when /
you know what?''
She remained silent, clasping and |
unclasping her hands on her lap in
dreamy bewilderment.
'When I first told you that 7 loved
you, Meta, all trace of gayety and |
seemed to have fallen |
from him, and left him pathetically
ennobled by an intense earnestness-
land you laughed at me and sent me
away"
II did not laugh at you
She fired resentfully, though the
tears she was keeping back were
her eyelids.
''When you sent me away he con-
tinued, sorrowfully, II thought my
heart was broken. I didn't want 10
live; l felt that the whole world was
empty without you. For days and
days 1 was unspeakably wretched,
and then"
She bit her lip and kept her eyes
turned from him, angry with herself
for being taken unawares and over
come by his unexpected news, and
touched by the pathos Of his confess
sion.
''Then I began to hope again" he
vent on, land by and by I fooled my
self into fancying you had changed.
md one day I came to you as / had
,ome before. :. And you sent me
away as you had sent me before. IT
came to you again in the same way
feel that, in the same way, you
would only send me away again; so
What am to do?"
She did not answer him.
Il thought to myself, I must lie out
# my old life and begin a new one.
When you're past hope. the wisest
hing is to give up hoping; then
SQUIRE past despair. Once I might
rave been happy; now 1 shall have to
,e satisfied if l am not miserable.
an never leave off loving you, Meta,
nut / shall not make myself a nui-
ance to you-'
"You Ilave-you have never made
ourself a.
Her voice futtercd in her. throat,
nd she discreetly let it die there,
ooner than it should falter and die
II her lips, and SO betray her heart
o him.