The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-04-17
ARIZONA KICKLETS.

II mas Deen aSCerId1neQ that the CllfT
dwellers of this territory didn't know
what a cocktail was. and the mayor OF
Lone Jack thinks Of calling a public
meeting to express sympathy for them.
Captain Calhoun. who hung about
this town as long as he could borrow
money to live on and then went over TO
Utah. is no more on earth. They didn't
Ike his looks and they hanged MIN.
Forty different attempts have been
made in the last four years to get US
bounced out of the oostnastershiD Of
the Gulch, but still we cling. This
proves that the postmaster general
knows a good thing when he sees it.
A grizzly bear was seen within six
miles O. the town last Wednesday by
Major Roberts AS the major hadn't
mad but three drinks that afternoon he
can't believe that he mistook a stree
car for bear.
There is no doubt that 10000 single
women could find husbands in Arizona
within a week, but if we were a woman
and one OF the 10000, we think we
should han= on to our job in the east.
People have called us a bad man. and
vet In the last seven years we have
never even limited that our esteemed
contemporary had a wooden leg ana
was cross-eyed and bald-headed. We
think that shows Draiseworthy consid~
GRAFTON.
A successful performance of the
Two Orphans was given at the Hellso
oDera house last Thursday evening
That is, one Of the orphans turned out
70 De the others mother. and the boys
shot out ten of the kerosenee lights. As
to the financial part the company gos
out OF town on freight train.
This town has taken stand on
trusts George Williams. the only bar
Der IN the place, raised his prices 80 per
cent last Monday morning. and within
two hours his shop was a wreck and
ne was walking in the direction of
Montana.
The Lone Jack Recorder says that our
lecture on the discovery of America is
fiat failure. We beg to differ We
nave delivered it in fourteen towns and
got out of each one alive. That is the
true test of a lecture in this country.
Two Quack doctors and three SINISTER
lawyers pulled up stakes and left the
Gulch last week in search of pastures
new. When the people of a town Will
neither quarrel nor fail sick somebody
has got to go.
The only thing happening last week
TO shock high society was the elope-
ment of Mrs. Dawson with a railroad
man from Tuscon. and the shock of
that didn't last over half an hour. Our
people never let anything worry them
very long before discovering that it was
for the best.
Four members of the vigilance COM
mittee went looking for Joe Moss last
Friday night, but Joseph borrowed a
morse and got out of town in time to
spoil a good thing. Mr.. Moss has little
ways that the town does not appreciate,
and he will do well to hunt another res
idence.
The mayor of Pine Hill was present.
ed with a $25 gold watch the other day
as a token of the esteem in which he
is held by his fellOw-citizens. He was
forced to turn around the same evening
and pay out $40 for drinks to show that
! he appreciated the sentiment The boys
try to work this little game on US now
and then, but it doesn't go.
Mr.. James Green Poplar. who arrived
home last Wednesday after visit OF
four weeks to st. Louis, brought the
information that cold corned beef is
no longer permissible at high teas
I Sardines are the thing now, and they
must be eaten between two crackers
Our local four hundred will please take
notice.
Mayor Jim White caught us on
Apache avenue the other day without
our guns and started in to make US