Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1903-07-31
THOMPKINS FOILED.

! ly required in moving his household goods
snd chattels. As van companies charge by
the hour, this was point worth consider
ing. Thompkins held that too much time
was usually consumed in getting the furni-
ture and the rest of it out OF the house and
loading into the van. Thompkins decided
that pillows, mattresses, cushions and the
like should be piled near the windows in
the front room of the fiat and hurled out
as soon as the van arrived.
Thompkins insisted with a great deal of
truth to his second in command, otherwise
known as Mrs. Thompkins, that movers
generally wasted time on the small things.
He declared that while four or five van men
would get piano downstairs and into the
van inside of half an hour, they would
waste an hour or more in solemnly potter
ing back and forth carrying bird cage and
two bed Stats at one time, or three soft
cushions and coffee pot as another load:
After all the big articles were loaded
Thompkins said that full hour would be
consumed in rounding up the trlf11ng Things.
Thompkins Said ne had studied out how
Che precious minutes are wasted by the
thoughtless van men. 1t was, according
10 Thompkins, because the van men lacked
system. He did not blame the van men
entirely. 1t was not alone their fault. 1t
was, to large extent, the fault OF the
family that was moving. 1hey would nave
email articles so scattered about the prem
ises that the van men, who are porn with
the idea OF carrying down one article at
time whether it be piano or beer bot,
tie, consume hours in idle wandering around
with pokers and dictionaries. Ihompklns
said that an ordinary moving van would
PICK up things Just as he found them al
hand and carry them one by one, patiently
and sadly, downstairs and 10 the van.
Ihompkns SAID that II SIX soft pillows We're
scattered about room the van man would
carry them down one by one Oh the con
vrarY; II tnese SIX pilo"s were al ppeu
,ogeVhSr' WIN the aua.Non OIL slfiaIl 'aoie,
10 DOCKS: ana 1rVlngpan, the van man
womd PICK the Whole outnt up together
ano narcn away Win H.
therefore Thompklns SAID that ne had
solved the problem, and accordingly he
his three-year-old son, and the hired girl
and proceeded to arrange things according
to The system. Allsoft cushions, mattresses,
and the like We're ACCORDINGLY piled near
the windows The rest OF the household
small articles We're arranged IN piles all
| around the fiat and down the nall.
| When the van men came down the street
that morning the hired girl, who was do
ing outpost duty in front of the building,
gave the alarm 1mmed lately Thomnkius
and his wife sprang to the front windows.
and, opening them, began to hurl pillows,
soft cushions. and mattresses to the ground.
where the hired girl had spread two sheets
70 keep the articles on the ground. 1homp-
hns had coached the girl to cash nadly'
out as soon as she mad gwen the alarm OF
the coming OF the van and TO spread the
sheets without delay, and then to retire
without confusion to the main line Of in
trenchments In the fiat above.
But the hired girl was not quite as lively
as Thompkins had hoped she would be, and
failed to retire after spreading out the
sheets with the CELEBRITY that Thompkins
had counted on: Consequently she was tho
first to fall in the great battle that Thomp..
klns was iightlng in behalf OF the army OF
movers. A pillow dropped from the third
hoor struck the hired girl on the head
as she began retiring and Immediately after
ward she was struck by HAIR mattress,
which felled her TO the ground. Before she
could throw oil the hair mattress all the
pillows. hedclothes and rugs belonging to
the Thompkins household had descended
and buried the hired girl from sight The
smothered walls from beneath the avalanche
Of rugs and cushions attracted her atten-
ton OF all the neighhors, who rushed mad
ly in and threw pillows and rugs right
and lett until the hired girl had been ex-
humed
Thomnkins and his wife descended. and,
assisted by the van men, who had now ar
rived. began the work Of rounding up the
pillows and rugs and putting them in the
van. The work was interrupted by show
er Of hair brushes. combs. vases and books
from above. Thompkins madly dashed IN
the stairs and found that his three-year-old
son had been fired with the inspiration Of
the moment and was throwing things out
/ Of the window. as he had seen his pa and
ma doing few minutes before
The van men carried down the piano
and the heavier pieces Of furniture and
/ then began marching down the stairs,
carrying bed Stats and individual books,
/ just the thing that Thomplins had en-
deavored to prevent. Thompl,ns vigor-
/ ously assailed them and said that each