Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-02-14

y
IN al the bird seed" You don't say?
/ thought it was a new breakfast
Sood."-Chicago Daily News.
Henry. why do you smoke continu-
ally, from morning until night?" It's
he only time 1 get. / sleep from
night till morning. Tit-Bits.
Rodrick-"You say he has faced
bursting shells. What battle was he
tn?" Van Albert-"None. He is a
,hestnut roaster." Chicago Daily
News
Brown--"That sermon did me a lot
of good" Rev. Longwind-"Tm glad
10 hear it, young man" Brown-"Yes;
I'd been up every night for week.
Judge.
A unique political announcement is
as follows: III my creditors will elect
me TO the office and keep me in it.
III pay the last blamed one OF 'em"-
Atlanta Consultation.
Modern She--'And so they
were married in Junew He-"Yes;
and six months later they were d.
vorced, and lived happily ever after"
Chicago Daily News.
He-'I don't see how you can say
such terrible things about another
woman She--"You don't understand,
YOU silly. Why. Carrie is my dearest
Friend. Boston Transcript
Led Astray. St Peter-"Whlch wife
DO you want TO live with" shade.
Are they all here?" St Peter-'Yes."
Shadc-"I thought you said this was
Heaven ?"-Detroit Free Press.
Tactless-Blind Bill (who had Just
received "Thankee, sir;
thankee. noe=as you wouldn't fcrgit
the poor blind man directly | see yer
come round the corner. "-Tit-Bits.
Generosity. Father Visiting sor at
college)-"Pretty good cigars you
smoke. my boy; l can't afford cigars
like these" son-"I'n your ease. dad;
ill your case" Harvard Lampoon.
Bertie-"Are we any kin to chick.
ens| Gertie- or course not; we're
people" Bertie--"Wel Uncle Harry
says papa was n mighty bad egg when
he was young. Town and Country.
What, sir, | ask you, is as deeply
profound, as majestically impressive,
as the silence of eternity?" Hint
What about the silence just preceding
The curtain lecture Baltimore News.
Yes, father, when | graduate | am
going to follow my literary bent and
write for money" "IIumnh Johnt
you ought to be successful That's all
you did the four years you spent in
college. The Punch Bowl.
Uncle George Come, Harry, YOU
ought to get along better than YOU
are. The world owes you living, you
Know Harry-YeS, that's the reason
why there's no need of my working
FOR one, you know. Boston Transcript.
He-But you didn't object to my
holding your hand when we went on
bay rides and other foolish excursions
this summer, And now that we are
alone She--Thats just 1t! There's
not another girl in sight to be ,ealons
Of me.-Cincinnati Tribune.
Herbert calls on me every evening"
said the confiding girl Don't You
think that is a sign he really cares for
me| II can't be sure" answered
Miss Cayenne. whether it indicates
that he is In love, or that coal In scarce
at his house Washington Star.
Entirely Satisfactory The agent for
a patent hair restorer received this tes-
ti1nonial: Dear Sir: A few days ago
/ accidentally spilled some of your
hair hatcher on the straw mattress Mt
my lodg.ags. and when returned
home | found "A hair mattress. Tit.
Bits.
Cheerful Chap: Maud-Dick pro.
posed to me last night Ella-What
did you tell him? Maud said he
had better ask mamma, and what do
you think the wretch said? Elm
Goodness knows Maud-He said he
had asked her already, and she
wouldn't have him.-Tit- Bits.
And you're really lord?" said the
maiden. "Of course. DO you thlnk
I'm an impostorY mo; oh, no; but
papa says one can't be too cautions
me one Of those abstracts of title
hear so much about before give you
my answerT'-Chicago Post
Just Kittenish: Men Is sho' tickle"
said Miss hiiami Brown "dey goes
back on you on de slightest provoca.
ton What's been happening" ask
ed Miss Alice Jefferson Tompklns.
Mr.. Rastus Pinkley come aroun' try
in to kiss me, an so as not to seem too
willin' an audacious smashed i'm
wifi fatron, an jes' fob dat he lifted
meH'--Washington Star.
Mrs. Turtledove-I suppose you
wouldn't object to mother coming to
live with rs for week or two? Mr..
rurtledoye-No, dear, wouldn't OBJ.
icct. Eve been waiting for chance
o go in town for a few days. didn't
%ant to leave you alone, you know.
Mrs II Il 'Omp ia thiuL 30 - 1,I,..t...