The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1903-12-24
VIII.
OLD AGE HUMBUGs AND THE
GRANGE.
tGentinued.)

,, tGentnued)
"You can count upon It, there ain't
agoin' to be a mother in all America that
will nourish the child that is in her arms
that God has given her, and there ART
goin' TO be a red-haired urchin, nor a
dirty faced bootblack but that will have
all the tarts he can eat, and a Jar or
lam all his own, so that he can run his
fingers In and lick them off as often Is
he chooses, and nobody to tell him that
that jam was saved for company and
then given round spanking.
"No, sir. We've got a man that under
stands his business. and he ain't agoln to
back down and desert his administration
family. nor any OF their relations, not
tf every gol darn foreigner and dis
, gruntled native I'm the country honers
back and pokes fun at him.
Every iaborering man, and every man
that Is out OF a job but who honestly
wants 10 work. Theodore Is agoin 10 see
that they're fed on the fat OF the land
lest the same as company always should
be. There amt anybody goin 10 DE nun
cry as long as he's the boss cook.
Now, YOU farmers haven't got You
eyes half open II you can't see that you u
, have 10 plant an extra acre or two 10
meet the demand that such thrifty old
fashioned cook h bound TO create. corn
bound 10 be wuth more. wheat VIII De
wuth more, vegetables WIKI fetch bigger
price and labor will be so much better
: paid the masses can stand the advance In
prices. If your sheep could raise second
crop OF wool I'm a year the chances VIII
be good for selling every ounce OF IL az
a good figure because the people VIII
have the money 90 buy good wooieh
clothes with. and your hog crop VIII be In
equally good demand. Iheres no use
In denying these facts.
.You can shout about your Bryans all
YOU want 10, and III shout with ye. for
i believe he's one of the cieanest, pest
men / know OF, but / don't beneVe We
want 10 put him In boss COOK, TOT ne
don't know enough about the chemicai
properties that brings out real good pas
try, such as the epicurean tastes OF the
American people are calling Tor; ana;
heinr n novice at the business II would
no natural for him TO turn the culinary
denartment over TO some OF his puplis'
and. OF course, they'd be true 10 MS IN
structions and insist on putting In every
thing In the proportion OF 10 10 j, anu
every woman In America knows that that
ratio would spile everything from loar
az cake TO a pan OF biscuit, and tnat
would never do.
Now. gentlemen. in closing my re-
marks / want TO say: Vote your con-
yictions every time, but In my opinion
II you are on the right track. and Know
when YOU are well of, and that whicn
AZ best for yourself and your country
everyone OF you farmers viii go TO
the polls and vote for the man that un-
derstands the chemical properties and
/. knows how TO run the fires so that things
z won't spile."
After this there didn't seem to any
, body want to talk on the subject.
Then the members discussed Jasper
Cornings proposition that "the grange
look into the advisability of heading off
the hundred and one patent cereals that
are being sold at the grocery store. by
getting up a new kind that I've got under
> way that Will be an embodiment OF all
the principal grains by starting up
Morse's grist mill and grinding up and
mixing together corn. oats, wheat and
barley. and calling II the Great Wheat
Fared Barley Corn Compound. Tne
most scientific discovery of the age,
combining all of the food elements of
the choicest grains I'm one package. Self
rising appetzng. surprising and mini
mizing the cost so that everybody can
afford 20 buy 1t who is hungry and got
time enough to eat Greatest health food
tha+-was ever put together, because IL
has got all OF the blood making stuff In
it that grows. and Is put up by a lot OF
farmers who are honest and disposed to
give you all you pay for. Cures indges-
tion, destroys nausea. and Is death to
germs germ can't live In II after it's
cooked any more'n n hen can live under
water A brain food. nerve food and
helps the liver and kidneys 10 be active
and up and dewing. and helps rheuma
tism, gout and other things too numerous
TO mention. In short. it's the great pan
f. man is glad 10 he heir to- and never In
herit. and ! want you all TO know that
81 amt one OF them gosh -darned pre-
dgested git-ups that's spilled before It's
cooked
IT want the members OF the grange
10 know" says Jasper. that I've been
more'n six months agittin' this Barley
Corn Compound together so 'twould have
the right flavor and at the same time
retain all OF the chemical properties so
that the folks that eat IL will git all OF
The underlations OF oxergin and hydergin
thereby fllin' their veins full OF good
red blood. and maxim them healthy IA
rabbits. I've got everything all fixed
now to my satisfaction, and when it's
put on the market I'm them red packages
that I've got made up, 1 call<erlate they'll
sell like hot cakes at ten cents n pack
age. Now. all want OF the grange IS
90 endorse the thing and I'll go ahead
and do the business. and win n name
for Canterbury that she won't be ashamed
Of"
Then Caleb Carlton he got up and
says: "Mr Chairman. / can say for one
that Mr.. Corning has got up food pro-
duct that Is bound 10 cut n swarth I'm the
market when he gets it TO going
4 took home a sample OF the stun and
had Mrs. Carlton cook some OF II up for
my supper about n week ago. and must
saw that I never tasted anything like Il
before I'm all my life. and hope I never
shall againl I've no doubt that it's got all
OF the chemical properties. and that
there's oxygen and hydrogen enough In Il,
and that all OF the grains on the list are
represented In good proportions. but not
withstnn6ing that / recommend that this
body vote. " ~ votes at all. that Mr..
Cornings 'Barley-Corn' would make the
best chicken food that there is goingl"
Upon that Jasper he UP. red In the face.