Arizona republican., 1903-08-24
GIMME FADDEN STORIES
SPECTACULAR END OF A CRUISE TO BOSTON Musings Mans Desire Move, and Womans Capacity
 to Touch.
Edward w. TownsendM


 ing what he meant by We"
 Its like dis he says. Dis feed pipe is introduced to de injector. and de cutoff is coiled on de 'ciprocating oscilator, when de fuse is detached for pedal power, and den all you has to do is to trun de friction clutch in action wit de left foct, while de right controls ue sleeve of de water jacket: den wit 'one hand force dis lever two notches on de ratchet, and wit de odder hand steady ue injector to keep de explo- sion gauge from backing up to de tank, for den de only danger of a back draught will be minimized.'
 ''Is dat all?" I says.
 Dat is all. while running on a level; but for hill climbing, and coasting, and stopping, and starting. and going slow, or fast, dere is a few stunts dat is per- formed by dis battery of levers and cocks and screws and cut-offs and faw- cets, which you reach by raising in de saddle, and controlling de handle bar wit your knees"
 "1s it wort while boddering wit" I says. Isn't it too easy, sir" I says.
 "De easy part is for de rider-de man told me dat-but de instructor, who stands on de ground and gives simple orders in one syllable wo;ds, he has a hard task, indeed" says Mir Paul.
 Let's get shuffer to ride, and I'll give | orders, I says. for shuffer tries gailly- gailly wit Duchess, and I was willing for him to have nice easy job like dat.
 No" MT. Paul says, tautful, Dis IS American machine, and it takes a American to ride it. Don't you want to try, Chames? Of course if you is afraid, I'll ask one of de gardeners to ride it.
 or course when de game was put to me in dat way I had to draw cards, and look cheerful-as cheerful as I could. Nearly all de hands on de place was rubbering around, to see what would happen. and Maggie de house maid. she whispers to me did l want her to take any message to Duchess before ] mounted. De coachman's kid asks me would dey wake me on de premises or on de bowery; cause he'd never seen wake, and wanted to know. House. keeper told me dat her uncle was a bone setter, and would do a job for any friend of hers at half price, and butler says to me, on de sly, dat cousin of his had lived tree days wit a broken
 
 papers; but was never well enough be- fore he died to see de papes, what was a great sorrow to his family When shuffer found out dat he wasn't to be asked to ride it. he got friendly | and helped MT. Paul to held de ting up straight, while I got on, and Mir aul did tings to it's inside. Just den Duchess comes out to see what was de circus; and she says dat it was foolish for to start me on de grounds; dat de way to do was to take de machine cut on de cid Post Road in front of de place. and head it for Bos- ton, for I'd always been croisy to see Boston.
 Or your way, woman." I says. Do you spose dat I could see Boston if I got dere on dis dinky ting?" But Mir. Paul says dat it was a good idea, and we trundles de ting cut to de road. and 1 was put up in de saddle again: Den MT. Paul asks me did I remember all dat he'd told me about it. l say Sure I says. Let her go,'' says I, for I was sore on Duchess for tipping off de road. I wanted to start on de lawn. where I'd had a. chance to run down to de beach and drown de machine.
 MT. Paul he touched match 10 someting. Shuffer pumps someting else, 1 twisted all de screws and levers could get me hands on, puts me feet on de peddle, dey gives it a shove, and I was off For a while it was only like riding plain bike, except dat you sits on a beer keg, or feel like ycG do but pretty soon tillss began to set gay, and | dere was sputtArs and sparks and smoke and smells and c!.oI -choos and gurgles and sasps and jol;s, and I Was wondering when I'd go up in de air.
 Great woik, Chames," yells Mir. Paul who was running along side. "Remem- | Der de locking friction cutoff, wen de interjector counter balance en- gaGeS wit de"
 I didn't ear no more. Somet!ng must interlocked for fair; for all of a sud- dent I left MT. Paul like he was going backwards, and de machine and me strikes a gait for Boston dat puts Win ton into de post hole. It wasn't so Woise. All I had to do was to keep her in de middle of de road, and pray dat nobody else would want de same place. I trun me feet up on de coaster holts. | but one of me feet struck Someting dat did tings to de engine, and we starts l one seem like strolling in a meadow. I seen something ahead, and woiked de fog horn signal for all de noise dere was in it. and what I seen turned into ! de ditch, and when l passed it I saw dat it was a bicycle club out on a run. As I passed dey sets up a holler dat was deir pace maker, and for me to slow down till dey could get under way Slow down! If I'd known what to pull to slow down, I'd pulled it a. mile from it's socket, so I just waves me hands for em to follow-I wanted somebody along to pick up de pieces-and away l goes!
 | l kept de road clear for a time wit de fog horn, and nearly everything I pass 1 ed turned and chases after me. until was followed by most of de bikes | mCbeS and fast horses of Westchester county. and I began to feel some chesty.
 Dose dat wasn't travelling in anyting dat could keep me in sight gives me good advice on de fly. "MufIie your eX- | hauSt" "Uncouple your cOmpOunder '