The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1903-11-12
CONFESSIONS OFA FATHER

" l0hi1 NAIO anu L. anu All VI ~
sudden there is but one Of us-the
Baby.
am a ALPHABETICALLY a father. OF
| course, that is % condition that ar
rives to most men, and ] have always
considered that IL vas q matter of
routine, merely simply an incident
OF married life. just as paying rent or
settling with the dressmaker. But,
heavens 1t is no incident; it is an
event like, in Importance, to being
married. When it comes, you 20
around feeling every moment that
something has happened to you.
Nobody who has not been a young
fatheI-a new father, that is - can
realize how big it makes him outside
the house, and how insignificant it
makes him, inside. 1t strikes me that
the father of an eleven-pounder-the
~first-ougbt to be- treated as Somebody,
in his own house especially. Were it
not for the father there would have
been no Baby. The claim is incon.
trOvertible!
However, although in our fiat there
is, at this very instant, the Baby, the
mother, the mothers mother, the
nurse, the doctor, the cook and my
self, of them all | am the least conse-
quence A stranger would suppose
that 1 was even an interloper, with
no title to consideration!
l remember when | used to look
upon my father as the greatest man
in the world. Now | know that [
oveTestimated the situation.
It--he-that is, Baby, came not at
all as | had expected he would. He
caught me at the store-the rascal
If that wasn't smart in him, I'd like
to hear what could be smarter. Oh,
but he's knowing!
The changes he wrung in on me
were Kaleidoscope. At 8 O'Clock il
the morning l was at the store, just
Jones, grocer; at II / was Mr.. john
Jones, father, and was filling q street
car at II 20 | was only John, showed
in a corner of the flats dining room,
and even then in everyone's way.
When l saw the Baby, 1.-THE, 1
meau-somehow did not appear pre-
cisely as had anticipated that a Jones
would. He reminded me of a nest of
nice that | once uncovered in the
barn, back home. He was so pink
and wrinkly and sque3ly. Maybe 1
seemed a little disappointed, for | had
been counting on i different result,
he being mine and hers. But Ill a sec
ond, and just for a second, too, the
sly rougue squinted up at me-he did
and, by Jove, he knew me And he
wasn't more than twenty or thirty
minutes old How's that for a Baby
After they had hustled me out Gas
if were a dummy, or a sack of meal) !!
| could hear him crying for me, which
struck me as not very good for him,
and made me mao at the cruelty of it.
pnnn l1tfIn fnlIAyr "hn ratkAI hsa
papa!
When 1 went back to the store (hav-
ing been given to understand that |
was 0 of any use to anybody in any
way it took me only two strides to
cover the three blocks to the car line.
In the car l tried to keep from grin
ming, but the whole carful of people
were grinning, and to this day | won
der how they knew The news got
through the city mighty quick. L
bought a noon extra, and looked TO see
what vas said about it-him-us, that
is; but we must have got crowded out
for some advertisement, at the last
moment. These papers are run, not
for news, but for money, and 1 am CO.
ing to quit taking them.
At night l saw the Baby again. 1t
had grown like mischief. Its-his
eyes are blue and watery. l do hope
that they are not weak. They look
weak. | think that he ought to be fit
ted with glasses, or at least be exam
ined, but | shall not say SO. Sugges-
tlons that / make are received with
ridicule and contempt. Yet L am his
father!
The instant that Baby saw me, he
laughed. l read i'll the encyclopedia
that normal babies do not laugh or
take notice until about a month old.
But Paul, my son, took Dotice when
he was six and one-half hours
During the the night l got to think
ing of this, and it worried me. |
feared that he was too precocious, and
would be stunted in some way, to even
matters. So on my road to the store,
in the morning 1 dropped off to see
the doctor, and told him my observa-
lions. And what satisfaction did |
get? Why, he scarcely listened.
What are babies to him, | suppose, so
long as he has his fee for helping them
in.
He even had the nerve to deny what
told him was possible. That shows
that he is no kind Of a doctor, or he
would have seen at nee that this Baby
is not the ordinary, regulation article.
1t is our Baby it is a jones'
They-the mother, the mothers
mother, the nurse, the cook, and the
neighDor women who have been in
have permitted me to hold it, once.
l never had dreamed that a father
must have permission from seven or
ten women. and some OF them outsid-
ers, before he can handle his own off
spring. | did not hold him long. The
spectators pestored me SO, and APP
peared SO sure that I'd break him land
| was a bit shaky, myself, and acted
so like a lot of hens with only one
chick between them, that | confess |
was awkward, and was willing to lay
him down.
He felt very soft and mushy. 1
wonder if it is natural for a baby to
be SC jelly-hsh-iike. He can't be a
freak, with no backbone or-or some-
thing. This troubles me, and If he
does not harden after eXposu re | shall
have the doctor again!
Paul-we have named him Paul, as
a compromise on Robert, which /
wanted, ana Launcelot, which his
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