davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1903-01-30

Liver Tablets" says Melard f. Craig,
of Middlegrove, n. Y. "They work like
a charm and do not grippe or have any
unpleasant effect.u For sale by Cohen
Bros, Wildwood; G. w. Dougherty,
Anglesea.
If you don't get a suit, Overeoat or
trousers at Glickman's IFS your own
fault. Read his special offer. \
An adjourned regular meeting of
Council was held in the new borough
hall last night with Mayor Hilton,
Councilmen Eut, Hoffman, Hewitt,
Long and Young present. Clerk Shiv-
ers was also present. The minutes of
the last meeting were approved as read.
Collector Young certified the cost OF
the improvement on Surf avenue, from
First to Sixth avenues, to be as follows:
Grading $5S4.2l, graveling S2l59.23,
curbing Sl96.4l, a total of S2939. So.
The cost of Pennsylvania avenue, from
9th to 10Th street, was certified to be as
follows: Grading $3222. rs, graveling
$4,000. 20, curling 1885, SO, a total of
$%l0,919.64. These figures include the
cost of surveying and the allowance to
the commissioners for making the as
sessment. The commissioners will
hPN PlOSNC0 hlJD AhC1l WIN. a lIoA
of the members of the fire com pany
was submitted to Council and approx
cd by Council. 1t was ordered that
bids be asked for the grading of the bor-
ough ball lot to be handed to the com
mittee and opened at Councilman
HeWitt's store next Monday night.
Adjourned to meet at the call of the
chair.
ATrc Tohopno GOdorl.alno Of Earnnc
Falls, Mimi, fell and disloeated her
shoulder. She had a surgeon get it back
in place as Don as possible, but it was
quite sore and panied her very much.
Her son mentioned that he had seen
ChamberlaIn's Pain Balm advertised
for sprains and soreness, and she asked
him to buy her a bottle of it, which he
did. 1t quickly relieved her and enabled
her to sleep which she had not done for
several days. The son was SO much
pleased with the relief it gave his mother
hat he has since recommended it to
many others. For sale by Cohen Bros,
Wildwood; G.. w. D%ougherty, Anglesea.
To close them out we have a nice
%evaporated Peach at &c a pound; also a
good grade of Baked Beans at sc for a
one pound can at Wildwood Bazaar. \
AItISl hlcndEuS, WHO OWueu u COZ
tage and several lots at Anglesea, is
dead. The Public Ledger says; Fred
erick de Bourg Richards, the artist,
died Monday morning at his residence,
1927 north Twelfth street, Philadelphia,
at the age of 81 years. Mr.. Richards
was born at Wilmington, Del, in 1922.
AT an early age he came to Philadel-
phia and entered the photograph bust
ness in Chestnut street, opposite the
State House. In 1857 he was commits
stoned by several prominent men Of
that day, among whom were Gilling-
ham Fell, Sharpless Townsend (of
Hopes u Townsend) and John Baird,
to go abroad ana paint for them extern
sive vas Among his most prom
inent paintings are the Roman Cam
payne" and pixies Peak" Mr.. Rich
ards was a birthrlght member of the
Society of Friends. A widow and two
daughters survive him.
, 1903-01-30

7.l5. Male and female voices desired.
The object is to practice for a cantata
to be given next summer.
Charles l.. Hoffman,, the Ocean City
architect, was ia Wildwood on Satur-
day last.
Salem county Sausage, Ice a pound;
Salem county Lard, lac a pound; Sa-
lem county S~crapple, Sc a pound at
Wildwood Bazaar. \
Former Councilman Richard S. ellis
was down yesterday greeting his many
friends here. He came down to pay
bis x and look after his property
here.
For Sale.-A completely furnished
cottage on Oak avenue, Wildwood.
Apply to or address the JOURNAL,
WildwoCa, N. j. II
A committee of the ladies' auxiliary,
the wives of members OF Beach Coun-
Gil, No. l57, Jr. o. U. A. NJ, composed
of Mrs. IL. w. Cobb, Mrs. Andrew J.
Malin, Mrs. Samuel :. Brown, Mrs.
Matt Schellinger and Mrs. Fred ID.
Schell, are engaged in raising money
Tor the purpose of purchasing a hand
some banner for the Council. The la
dies furnish a book to the members of
the Council authorizing the member to
secure votes for himself, at ten cents
each, as the most popular member.
The contest will end Saturday evening,
February q, 1908, at 10 o'clock at Ho-
tel Seaside, when the successful men,
Der will be presented by the ladies'
auxiliary with a handsome silk crazy
patch quilt. The quilt will be lined
with the American flag and the ladies
are taking great pains with it. The
banner will be presented to Beach
Council on behalf of the ladies by the
state officers on their official visit to
the Council at its second anniversary
on Friday evening, March 9th, 1908.
, 1903-01-30
CUT THIS OUT.
Special Offer.

On presentation of this COUPON in
our store we will let you select any
$3.50 Suit or Overccat IN the House for
81. or any pair of $3.50 Trousers for
S2.47. This offer holds good until Feb
ruary IA. If you miss this opportunity
it is your own fault.
n. B.-Only one Suit, Overcoat oil
Trousers will be sold to each individual
purchaser on this special offer.
NJ. w. GLICKMAN.
, 1903-01-30
STOP III

a neglected cough or cold may lead
to serious bronchial or lung troubles.
Don't take chances when Foley's Hon.
ey and Tar affords perfect security from
serious effects of a cold. Sold by Cohen
Bros.
, 1903-01-30
Angiesea.

Mrs. S. J. Dampman and Miss Kath-
arine Severn, of Wildwood, were i'll
Anglesea last night.
During the heavy and foggy weather
about two o'clock this friday morn
ing the steamer "Gulf Stream" Capt.
Swing, bound from New York to Phil
adelphia with general merchandise,
stranded on Hereford bar at Anglesea.
She lies well in toward the beach and
the Anglesea life saving crew took
ashore her crew of 20 men.
w. e. Young received a ear of coal
this week and has sold it all at $500
a ton. 1t was chestnut coal.
A nine pound little girl arrived at the
home of Assessor and Mrs. Thomas
Corson last Monday and Tom has been
passing around the cigars in honor OF
the event.
Mr.. and Mrs. Henry H. Ottens, who
are well known to JOURNAL readers,
left Philadelphia yesterday for New
Mexico by way of Florida. Mr.. Ottens
has bought a lot of land out there
among the greasers. They will remain
until about April l.
1.-THE incest and ~pleasantest medicine
[ have used for indigestion and consti-
nation iS mbA ,Stamach and
, 1903-01-30

w H. Allen, shoe repairing, Maple
aver ue, west of the railroad, Wildwood,
N. j. All work done at reasonable
prices and ON short notice. Satisfaction
guafanteed. X
, 1903-01-30

Get the celebrated John McBrunty
standard navy shoes, adopted by the
u. S. government, for $2.25 at Morris
Glickman's clothing store,
, 1903-01-30
Pneumonia and La Grippe.

Coughs cured quickly by Foley's
Honey and Tar. Refuse substitutes.
Sold by Cohen Bros,
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-09-06
SAVANNAH. GA.

could work without losing any of its
energy.
Our perpetuum mobile consists of a
small oblong paper box about 2
inches long, q inch high and inch
wide This paper box is round on its
two ends.
Cut figure "a" twice out of strong
cardboard Zone for the top and the
other for the bottom of the box).
Figure 3D. is the strip of cardboard
forming the sides of the box (5% inches
long and y inch wide).
Two strips of paper (ffgure "c') are
used to glue the box together.
To make the top and bottom of the
box take the piece of cardboard. which
must be XXI inches in size, and divide
the two shorter sides into halves. as
shown in the picture.
Take compass and measure the
distance from any point of this divid-
ing line to the lower edge of the paper.
Then place your compass point at the
end of the dividing line and mark off
the distance which you have just
found
This point is the center of the circle
Which you will have to draw to make
the ends of the paper round. Do the
same on the other end of the dividing
line.
Before you glue the top on, place a
lead ball into it. This will cause the
peculiar motion of the paper box, as
sisted by the peculiar round shape of
the ends.
Place the little box on one end of a
fiat board, lift the end trifle and the
box will roll and roll until it finally
stops on the fiat table, trembling and
shaking in some peculiar position.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-09-06

and bruises about the head and Shout
ders, and his knee cap was dislocated.
Feeney did not fare so well. When he
was examined at the Emergency Hos
pital, as was Dinsmore also, 1t was
found that he was paralyzed through
out the body. 1t was decided that the
vertebrae of the Spinal column had
been fractured and were pressing on
the spinal cord, and DIR. Vaughan de-
cided to undertake an operation pa "a.
The operation was known to be more
difficult because it was the uDber cer-
vical vertebrae which had been M
jured. The man was. put under the
influence of anesthetics, and the spec
cific operation performed was lam
inectomy of the fourth, fifth and sixth
cervical vertebrae. A section of YER
tebrae was removed and the cord left
protected by the tissues and wrappings
alone. The operation is said to have
been successful in all particulars.
The patient is still paralyzed below
the point of injury, and it is said that
this condition may continue for two or
three weeks The surgeons hope that
in time the bruise on the cord viii be
eradicated Medical men In the city
say that the chances for recovery in
cases of injury similar to those of
Feeney, even If the operation is skill
full which the surgeons performed, are
one in a thousand.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-09-06

have taken that Australian member Of
Parliament a long time to prepare the
following: "Ye have shaved all the
wool off the goose that lays the golden
eggs until We have pumped 1t dry" and
in the preparation OF 1t he was only
adopting a recognized form of irish
humor for the expression of his ideas.
Nevertheless, it is true that kind
OF superficial stupidity, even in the edu-
Gated Irish. goes far to account for
much of their quaint humor. An apt
ness of speech aid a versatility of idea,
combined with this superficial stupidity,
may lead their possessor into all kinds
of laughable forms of speech. For In
stance, the Irishnan who swore that
there was "as honest a heart beating
beneath an Irish tunic as under any
Scottish kilt" had ready gift of COM
parisoIi, but was too stupid to notice
whittier II was leading him. Instances
of this grotesque and laughable stu
pidity are numerous enough, and so
well known that it is necessary to Gull
them from the byways of Hiberniana
In order to interest. It was a strong
strain of Irish blood in an American
Council that made itself responsible for
the following absurd resolutions:
% Resolved by this Council that
we build a new Jail.
10 Resolved that the new jail be
built out of the materials of the old
Jail.
go Resolved that the old jail be used
until the new Jail is finished.
Equally absurd are the remarks of
learned Irishmen. A certain DR.. Bar
rett of Trinity College, Dublin, was
q great offender In this way At q
discussion of the college board as to
what should be done with a huge heap
OF rubbish In the College Park, some
one suggested a hole should be dug
and the rubbish buried. Barrett took
up this idea and stuck to 1t. But"
the others demonstrated, what shall
we do with the stuff that comes out
Of the hole?" We'll" said Barrett,
dig another hole and bury IT," There
is something more than mere absurd
stupidity In the following story OF
this same Barrett. One cold, snowy
night, a man. who lived about Ave
mics from the college, sent his son.
a young boy 10 the doctors for a hook
that he had promised 10 lend him. !
When the boy arrived he knocked AT
the door. and the doctor came out 20 |
him. There WAS 20 light IN his H. /
brary, and when he learned what the
boy wanted he went Ia the dark, and
presently returned with a book IN bis
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-09-06
There he stood, a Tiger

lie unconscious on the ground. With
three bounds the tiger was away and
behind a long line of cars. The dray
horses snorted and dashed off.
Are you the keeper" demanded a
policeman, all excitement.
The sudden thought struck me that
/ was in more danger from the officer
than l had been from the tiger.
mo, I'm not" l answered.
The policeman took one look at me
and wisely concluded that the public
was in greater danger from the tiger
than from me. and started off in the
direction the animal had taken. fol-
lowed by the men. / jumped out,
lodged under the cars and so got into
the street. In an hour 1 was home.
From the newspapers, l learned that
a circus had distanded in the town
from which l started, and this tiger,
not having been paid for, had been
sent hack to his owners by some of
the county sheriffs men, which ac-
counted for the slovenly way in which
he had been shipped.
1t seemed that he had had a good
meal Just before he started, which was
probably the reason for his not re-
garding me rather as dinner than
fellow-traVeler. He was finally cap
tured in park. What became of
him then don't know.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-09-06
WIT AND HUMOR OF THE IRISH
InconSeqUence of Thought Superficial Stupidity
Accounts for Pats Quaint Sayings.

hand Now" he said, "go home to
your father and tell him that I be-
lieve this is the book he wants, for
1 think | can put my hand on almost
every book in my library; but If 1t
isn't, come back, and I'll light cam
die and look for it," An Irish jury,
when possessed of the subtle Irish
stupidity, is the most refreshing thing
in the court. Not long ago libel case
was heard in Roscommon in which the
libel was that the plaintiff had been
accused of stealing goose. When the
jury had considered their verdict the
foreman solemnly announced: we find
for the plaintiff, with damages, the
price of a GOOSE; which is verdict
almost as subtle as that of jury in
Australia, where Irishmen are common
enough, to the effect that the prisoner
was more or less guilty.
A large percentage nf Irish jokes,
when they are Analysed, depend upon
a speakers ignorance or disregard or
the proper meaning of a word, or upon
the foolhardiness of using Il word not
correctly understood. AS an instance
of this trait of the Irish character there
is the following story of witness. He
was asked by counsel: Now, my good
man, is not all this you have been say
ing merely an hypothesis?" We'll,
said the witness, IF your honor says
so, / suppose it was" Come, now"
persisted counsel, ION your oath, do you
know what an hypothesis is?" well.
1 think do; it's some part of the
inside of a pig, but I'm not exactly
sure what part it is He was prob
ably thinking of the asophagus, but
none but an Irishman would have been
so blind to its incompatibility with the
matter in hand. The haunting thought
comes in again here as in the consider
alton of all Irish humor. Was the man
really as homogeneous a fool as he
seemed? To assist in solving, or still
further complicating this question two
interesting anecdotes might be set down
here on the plea that If they do not
help the reader to the solution of this
subtle question they will at least arouse
his suspicion.
Judge Burton a very old and infirm
stipendiary, was engaged in trying a
case, when an equally old and infirm
witness came into court to give wit
ness. by mistake he took the passage
leading to the bench, whereupon coun-
sci cried: Come back, sir. Where are
you going? Do you think you're a
judge?" Indeed, sir" said the aged
one, CHANGING toward Judge Burton, II
fear L am fit for little else" The other
runs in the following way, and seems
to hint that when you puzzle an Irish
iran ne can DC DIS puHAllllB as you are.
Sheridan lie Fanu once asked an Irish
man what was the English of Car
rlgtuohil." II never heard any Eng
lish or Irish name upon 1t, only Car
rigtuohir alone" was the reply. IT
know" said lie Fanu, lit has no other
name" well, now, your honor" he
replied; II never heard any meaning
for it, only 'Carrigtuohil' alone" II
know 'carrig means a dock" persisted
lie Fanu; but what does 'tuohil'
| mean?" ''Wel, now, your honor it's
what ] can't tell you why it's called
'Carrigtuohil,' unless it's because Mr..
Coppinger lives below there in Barry's
| Court"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-09-06

pause: next two soft FOOTBALLS and
something hairy brushed slowly across
my race. threw up my hands invol-
unfairly and seized 1.-THE tail, l was
, sure OF some great beast.
! III slipped away from me instantly.
j there was soft bound on the floor
ana something like a bag of meal
STRUCK me sharp blow on the side of
the mead. My travelling companion
was giving me to understand that 1
| was not to lay hold of his tail again.
I winch l was not likely to do soon,
since must have tainted away at that
minute, no longer able to stand up
under the terror.
When 1 came to myself again the
tram was laundering and lurching on
once more. l saw points of light here
| and there in the car, and so knew it
was morning. But it was too dark in
the car to make out any object. l
mad. worked around crosswise, close up
to the end, and as l looked toward the
other end l saw two yellow lights,
round and big, it seemed, almost as
switch lights.
All that had happened had come
pack in my mind, and / knew they
We're the eyes of my friend who had
NIT me the dab on the head. He was
still tramping up and down the car,
coming close to me each time and
brushing his tail in my face as he
turned. 1 could make out his bulk,
vastly greater than that of any dog.
but nothing of the color and little of
the form.
Should we never reach our destina-
ton? 1t seemed hours that I FAY
there. l drank some of the water, but
had no appetite for the bread Some
times the train shook and wrenched
itself to a stop and then. there were
the faint footballs of my car mate. He
never stopped-the same soft, steady,
stealthy tread whether the train
moved or stood still. Should we never
reach our destination?
AT last we did. The train stopped,
and after a long while I felt the car
uncoupled and moved back Then
more delay. Would it never end? Was
the car forgotten, and must I stay
there all day, and another night? What
would happen when the beast became
/ hungry? What sort of a morse would
make him? / dared not rise up and
call for help. So L waited. Would they
never come?
! At last they did come. There was
! There seemed to be no end to the talk.
the sound of a dozen voices outside.
Then wagon arrived and backed up
| to the car. There was the sharp blow
with a couping-pin which always
! opens a car door lock. The door was
pushed back an inch.
The beast had stepped close to me.
The crack gave enough light to show
what he was. There he was. a tiger;
l saw his stripes, and his long tail,
waving slowly. The broken crate.
clearly too weak for what it had been
intended, stood at the other end OF
the car.
Through the crack the men could
not see him where he stood.
Push it OPEN" said one voice,
whats the matter with you!"
The door shot back. The tiger,
with roar, sprang forward. Some
one struck at him with an iron bar,
! but he leaped out. 1 was on my feet
in time to see the man who had
struck the blow roll from the dray and
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-09-06

To us, waiting in that motionless car,
he seemed to be gone an age; the ten
sion was frightful. Then he walked
back with Knight and, pointing be-
tween the last of the box-cars and
the baggage-car, said: "Uncouple
here" We could see them from the
windows walking about, talking leis-
urely. Then he stepped to the door
of our car and said in his ma tter-of-
fact way We'll, boys, 1 guess it's
time to CO."
We filed out on the camp side. There
was knight on the engine, and Wilson
and Brown climbing into it. Andrews
walked forward to the caboose,
stopped a moment, turned, and, mo-
tioning to us with his hand said light
ly: Get on, get on" knight pulled
the throttle as Andrews nodded to him
and swung aboard.
Would that engine never start? 1t
snorted, ground ahead, and then
stopped in it's tracks with a great hiss
of steam, and the wheels kept on buzz
ing around. That would alarm the
trainmen. We wondered if they'd seen
us. Not a sound came from the sta
ton. 1t was bad moment for us,
penned UP blind in the box cars.
At last we shot off at high speed.
Even were Lney IOlloNlHS now, we
were safe, for there was no telegraph
at Big Shanty.
The thing had been done. This big
detail of men had crossed the enemy's
ranks without the least alarm, had
stolen n train on a line that his very
being depended upon, stolen it from
one of his own camps, in the middle
of his country. There, in the half-dark-
ness of the car, we soldiers simply
stared at each other.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-09-06

ana lurched, and swayed and pounded
and cracked, and the roar and rumble
We're deafening, the couplings creaked
and wrenched and the doors ratified
This was to be expected, and for u
long time l tried to sleep. At last /
dld drop asleep, and 1 must have slept
Tor some time. and then l awoke and
realized that something had sounded
IN the car itSelf-somehting that
frightened me.
The sound came again. 1t was
louder than all the rest of the uproar.
IN the dark l had strange notions and
thought it was as if the car was
yelling out in pain. 1t came into my
mind that horse shot through Min
cannon-ball in battle might make
Such last cry. But the sound did
NOT come again.
Inc car swayed so much that l was
Chucked about this way and that on
tne smooth floor. l put the bread and
lutte back in my pocket. / tried to
Trace myself against the side, and.
U u.a long time, again slept, for 1
was Worn out.
when I next awoke the motion was
NIUE steadier. We must, l thought.
We on a straight, smooth stretch of
+oaU The next thing l knew there
.aIne terrible yelling cry; harsh,
aISsplhg, Earring. like a scream, a
~ rex and roar together 1t m lde
Is.y heart stand still there in the dark
i,e9s' There was a crashing and break
.Is ana something fell to the floor of
train.
49,. dared not move muscle, being
~ b uCk with terror too frightful to tell.
tldu oeen jolted from the side of the
~, ana knew not if I was in the end
~, the middle. But now I did know
car something was walking in the
ABOUT me, around me.
men came the tread of some kind
VI footsteps soft, like a man walking
IN in ms feet bare, along by me; down.
TN up; down again, up once more.
s iieH II paused, and there was a
tblN'chlng' ripping sound high up in
,iie car, as of wood being torn and
'speo; next soft pat; as man
Isn't st make jumping from a low stool
~ m, .ue moor, his feet still bare.
iiead! treadl came the footballs
sam along by me, down past my
NJ, BACK again close TO my face
ti Zen another pause; something like a
bri. Just touched my cheek, and stiff
~ YES We're thrust IN my eye and
akalnst my chin and cheek. / turned
a,y mead desperately. II came on my
'lsr cheek dab dab like a man
lHs with his finger II paint is dry
81 mere was a sniff sniff' and I
t. me not breath on ny cheek and
,fhead and in my neck.
L., "Notnef pause then right over me,
ng upiurned ear, there was the
nlFeilng shrieknR roar again. max
"'@ the car tremblo. Then o longer