davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
Lies of Neighboring States.


Anaconda, Mont, has some smelters,
a newspaper and hotel, to say nothing
of a saloon. The saloon mad a bar
tender who tells the story As he re-
lates il, there was at one-time in Ana
cOnda a humOrist-One of those people
who always hang around with the
gang, take lemonade and cigars and
play practical jokes on the crowd after
ali others become stupe6ed.~ One bright
summer day the gang got revenge. The
joker went on a high lonesome that
was an epoch-maker. For four days
he Tapped up mixed drinks ma by that
time his system was wrecked. He was
shaky as a pOpular-p priced automobile
after a thirty-mile run To Anaconda
had come in the meantime additions
to the population in the shape of an
organ grinder and a bob-t TITLED monkey.
The monkey was brought into the Sa-
loon were the joker was and sCTrep-
titiOusly placed on the back bar. It
was trick monkey and moved about
among the gllsseS with much agility
and noiselessly. The joker lookel at
him and said; There's a monkey
The barkeep looked sadly at the joker
and merely remarked: You'd better
take one more drink and go home"
The joker then turned to an acquaint-
ance and said. That's a funny monk
ey. He's got a short tail" L think
YOU ought TO take one more big drink
and get to bed said the acquaintance
with much gravity. You're not in
good shape. Better cut it out" Fur
Their reference to the monkey drew OH,
nothing more than good advice, all
hands pretending not to see the ami
NAL. Just as the joker was about to
swallow his drink the monkey leapeG
on his shoulder The joker never
WINGED. Il knew there was no monkey
there all the time" said the joker.
pleasantly, as the monkey pulled his
hair; Il was just trying to see If YOU
fellows had got EN-" But the joker
went to bed and never got back 'On
earth again.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
ROOSEVELT AND m'cLELLAH.

d RESIDENT ROOSEVELT. on be-
haIS of the nation. yesterday de-
livered q talk i'm which he accepted.
for tn nation. a monument to the
New Jersey troops who fought at the
memorable battle Of Antietam. The
president gave what purported to be
a history Of that battle. He uttered
glowing eulogies Of several men who
commanded minor divisions during the
conflict. incidentally paying a deserved
tribute to the New Jersey troops. But
the president omitted the one name
that is inseparably connected in the
public mind with the battle OF Antfe-
tam-the name OF General George 3.
Mcclellan.
Was General McCIellan's name de-
Hberateiy omitted from President
Roosevelt's speech? Does not the
president know that Mcclellan was in
command OF the Union troops and that
contemporary historians as we'll as the
writer's Of history who have grown up
since the war gave Mcclellan full
credit for the Union victory? Presi-
dent Roosevelt said in his speech, and
the statement cannot be disputed, that
lin its ultimate effects this battle was
or momentous and even decisive i'm
portance.
Is It better to charge President
Roosevelt with ignorance of the his
tory Of his country or with the delib-
crate intent to slight one Of the great
est soldiers the civil war produced
These who incline to the latter theory
viii find food for thought in the rec
objection that Mcclellan was a Demo-
crat; thar ne was the nominee Of the
Democratic party in 1864 for the pres
idency OF the United States. They viii
also find food for thought in the rec
objection that Mcclellan was no carpet
soldier who tamely submitted TO re-
Dukes and taunts from civilian super
iors. Many Of McClellan's friends be-
iieve he would have ended the war
in his peuiusular campaign OF 1862 II
Washington had left him unhampeTed.
In July OF that year, exasperated be-
yond endurance, ne wrote TO the sec
retsry OF war that il ne had been
sustained By the government he could
have captured Richmond, and he fur
Their gave evidences of his feelings in
th,,se words: "If save this army now
I tell you plainly that 1 owe no thanks
to you or to any persons in Washing
ton: you have done your best to sacri-
flee this army" Largely on account Of
this bit OF plain speaking Mcclellan
was relieved Of his command and su'
perseded by General Pope, who brought
about the second Bull Run disaster.
Then Mcclellan was once more ealee
uuon to save the government and h'
. responded by winning the battle OF An
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
The Language He Knew.
(New York Telegram)

1--WE are not exactly lnguists," re-
marked the Ellis island inspector
thoughtfully. but we have a few stock
phrases in nearly every language Of the
globe-things that we need in our busi-
ness. YOU know. We also all have
theory that we can tell the nationality
of a person at a glance.
We'll the other day the regular inter-
prefer was called away and / took his
place for a few moments. The first To
come before me was a man that I sized
uD as being an Italian. So I asked him
IN Italian where he was going. / might
as we'll have been spec king Sanscrit: my
Italian never touched him. Then I tried
him in Servian and in three Polish dia-
lects. then in Russian. and finally in
German and French. but all to no pur-
pose. Just then the regular interpreter
came. and I said to him. with some
warmth;
Il wonder what -- - language this
- - understands. anyhow
u understand that. scr." he SAID.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
uTAH,s sHARP LEssoM.

THERE IS A SHARP LESSON for
L Utah fruit growers in the loss OF
the William A. Clark loving cup at
Ogden yesterday. Until the judges who
had been selected to award this great
~ desired prize began a critical in
spcction of the fruit displays it was
considered foregoue conclusion that
Utah would win. The collections Of
fruit from the various sections OF the
state were never before eQualed.
Delegates to the irrigation congress,
visitors from abroad. as well as people
who have lived long in Utah or were
born here. had not believed it possible
for the state 20 produce anything so
good to look at in the fruit line. So
far as outward appearances went the
fruit from Utah was well nigh perfect
No other fruit looked anything like as
good. SO satisfied was the public at
large that there could be but one de-
cision that a large share Of the inter
est was lost so far as the competition
was concerned
But the fatal moment came. The
Judges were not satisfied with outward
appearances. They cut into the Utah
fruit and they found defects that were
fatal. Chief among them was tine cod
ling moth. a fruit enemy that attacks
from the inside, seriously impairing
the flavor and often absolutely de-
stroying the product. though still leav-
ing it fair to look upon. y large per-
centage of the Utah fruit was so inn
20 10 ~
The Herald cOngratulates the Gem
state on it's fruit pre-eminence. We
have no disposition to question the de-
cision Of the judges. They acted wisely
and fairly and properly. The cup was
won honestly and it was thoroughly
deserved. ~ And while. OF course. The
Herald regrets that the prize did not
fan 10 Utah. at the same time Il gives
our fruit growers an object lesson they
could have obtained i'm no other man
ncr.
BY this they will be taught that they
must pay greater attention To their
orchards. Experience has shown that
it is possible to absolutely exterminate
the cooling moth. This cannot be &C
complished without an infinite amount
or pains and labor. Eternal vigilance
IS the price Of perfect fruit. It is not
enough to spray an orchard once or
twice during a season. Every tree
must be sprayed repeatedly. for other
wise the cooling moth and other in
Eects viii gain a foothoId from which it
is impossible to dislodge them.
The loss OF the cup is a present dis
appointment. but may we not hope the
experience viii prove a blessing in
disguise? Hereafter the fruit growers
or Utah viii understand that they must
labor constantly and intelligentIy If
they would receive a fun measure OF
success.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
QUEENS WHO SMOKE
Fair Members Of Royalty Who Are
Fond of the Weed.


The Empress Elizabeth Of Austria,
who was assassinated near Geneva,
used TO smoke thirty or forty cigar
cites daily. either Turkish or Russian,
and used also to indulge occasionally
I'm small Italian cigars.
The czarina smokes cigarettes now
and then, and on her desk there are
always q couple of golden and engraved
cigarette cases, a silver ash tray and a
malachite match holder.
The queen of Italy seldom smokes,
but the mother OF the king OF Spain
consumes a large number of Egyptian
cigarettes every day.
Former Queen Natalie of Servia owns
a magnificent jeWeled smoking outnt
and is very partial 20 the habit
The queen of ROumania, Carmen Syl-
via, also owns a large number of gol1
and silver cigarette cases, but she does
not much like the aroma of tobacco
The queen of Portugal, on the other
hand. is an ardent lover Of the weed
she prefers a special brand Of German
tobacco. which is sent TO her specially
from Dresden. Her mother, the Count
ess of Paris. occasionally INDUCES in
Havana cigarette or two.
At the English court the ladies are
strictly prohibited from smoking by
Queen Alexandra, who viii not allow
smoking in her presence. Many fair
members of the English aristOcraCy are
far from pleased thereat, because
among them are many confirmed
smokers.
Hoist With His Own Petard.
Postmaster General Payne was de-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
SPARKS.



At the Irrigation congress in Ogden
is a man SO years old who can jump
nine feet. 1t is not possible to esti-
mate how far he may jump by the time
ne is 100, but it should be twelve feet
ar least.
For once private soldiers will con-
cede that an officer is right when they
learn that General Baldwin has de-
clared in favor Of re-esJa blishment Of
the army canteen.
Indians have now learned what sur
veyors' work is. which explains why
the redskins disapprOve the presence OF
the surveyors on the reservation,
knowing the men are not there in tn
interest Of the Indians.
The sultan of Morocco has just had
his S7Sth narrow escape from falling
into the hands Of the insurgents"
No wonder prize fights are still per-
mitted in ogden. None Of the fighters
up there ever get hurt.
If that federal official who is in the
city checking up naturalization meth
DDS had timed his visit to occur some
time not so near an election his visit
would have been more appreciated by
several well known local politicians.
So many men have survived broken
backs of late years that it is with
something Of a shock one learns that
a man died of a broken back.
Mrs. Hodge is all right once more.
1t is so homelike TO hear her say she
killed Ryan but had nothing 10 do
with the murder Of him.
The latest case Of official interference
with the work Of enlightening the
masses is the arrest of "A soldier fog
reciting Shakespeare loudly on Com
mercial street.
Another native son OF Utah has been
called east to occupy a conspicuous pO-
sitiOn at the national capital, that is
to say a Utah pelican IS eErOute 10
the Washington zoo.
Why not call off the threatened war
between Venezuela and Colombia and
have the soldiers dig the canal?
| The man who will lead the Saliva
/ tiOn Army workers to Breathitt county
/ has been given a farewell dinner by
I his fellow workers in Cleveland, which
was very nice and appropriate idea.
That eastern Pennsylvania peniten-
1 tiary must contain a great bunch OF
patriots. First it develops that they
are breating the government by putting
/ no revenue stamps on their cigars. and
! then we learn they are making bogus
! money there as well. It was time tC
put the chaplain in charge Of the
/ place.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
Got the Contribution.


ikansaS CITY Journal
The Rev. Sanford Olmsted. the Episeo-
palian bishop of Colorado, is noted for
the skin with which he can collect money
for charity s.. Asaph's church al Bala-
Pa. was Bishop Olmstead's last charge
and this church. under his pastorate,
actually had more money than 1t coulo
spend.
Here is an instance of Bishop UNI
sted's address as "a collectors
He called on a man one. day who We
we'll TO do. but somewhat close. He asAeu
for money for a worthy charity, ana 1l1
man said. -, r.
Cpd give something gladly, but the tact
is I've only $500 with me 10 caSh-s''vv lii''-
I've nut aside for my funeral
You trust God with your soul set1
y2ishoD Olusted. "but you're afraid 10
trust him with your funeral en-
This comment gained the bisnop gen
erous contribution
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
Career of Bill the Tank.


Bill was in the rambling stage of his
first spring jag and was first discovered
by a passerby in front of a small gro
Gerry in the northwestern part of the
city. 1T was Bills occupation that at
tracted the strangers attention. In
front of the little store was a case of
nice fresh eggs, and these Bill was
picking out one at a time and break
ing on the sidewalk. He applied him
self to the task with great delibera-
ton. carefully aiming each egg at
crack in the pavement and cOmport
ing himself with the utmost gravity.
The stranger notified the proprietor Of
the store, who came rushing out in
great haste, to be met with the chill
ing information. impaired by Bill, that
he proposed to assume the general
management Of that case of eggs for
a while I'm an anarchist" he said
scoWling darkly at the proprietor, and
if you interfere with this secret rite
am engaged in I viii dynamite your
placei' This held the grOceryman for
a minute, but after another look at
Bill he began 70 protest Get out"
said Bill, scornfully; watch me and
you'u learn something about the egg
business. Don't you know an egg is
no good until it's brOken2 I am now
making these eggs mt for something.
Run away and play house with that
little girl there until I get through. -
"Iu fly you," shouted the man, ind
ing his strength suddenly. IF I only
could get someone to watch the store
I'd bring a policeman Distress your
self no longer, pray" said Bill, still
carefully throwing egg after egg on
the pavement. Il. myself. win stay
here while you go for the officer" This
did not help the grOCeryman much, and
at length Bill made a proposition to
him. Bill cOvenanted to depart with
out breaking more eggs If the gro
/ ceryman would give him receipted
bill for the broken eggs and agree not
to report the matter to the police
bills natural enemies The deal was
I concluded on this basis and Bill again
sought his rest
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18

tietam- Even after that the politicians
continued to pursue him on the ground
that he did not follow Lee as he should
have done and from then on his place
was made so uncomfortable for him
that on election day in 1864, he resigned
his commission and was never again
in the service. This is the man Presi-
dent Roosevelt did not think worthy
Of mention; this is the man who, in the
fullness OF the great Lincoln's popu-
larity. was only defeated by that mar
tyred president by 100000 votes in
total Of 100000.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18

scribing an old time Milwaukee judge,
who had been noted for his kind heart.
Il attended one day said Mr. Payne
"a session of the court at which this
Judge presided. The court crier was a
very old man; he had served with ndel-
ity for many years, but age was oeglll-
ming now to tell on him. He fell asleep
while I was in the courtroom and in ar
little while he was snoring
His SHORES. of course, disturbed me
proceedings Of the court. The judge
displayed great tact I'm interruptlnS
them without embarrassing the crier.
'Crier Jones, he said in a loud
voice, 'Crier Jones, some one is snor-
ing-
-The crier awakened. He started TO
his feet.
silence he exclaimed. There must
be no snoring in the courtroom, ana
he glared ferociously about him.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
a oabIegram Of condolenee.
Saturday Evening Post.)

When the news Of the assassination Of
King Alexander and QUEEN Draga
reached the state department at Wash
ington there was some discussion about
the prOpriety Of sending a cablegram Of
coincidence,
NO. no, said Third Assistant Secrc-
tary Adee nothing is 10 be done in a
case of this kind Besides there's no.
body to send It to. The king and queen
are dead and the government has no
head"
why not send addressed To Whom IL
MAY Concern p" asked a demure young
stenCgraDheF.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
&c Wav to shadowtown.
7By Eugene Field)


SWAY to and fro in the twilight gray,
This is the ferry for Sh8dOWtOWn,
1t always sails al the end of day
Just as the darkness closes down.
Rest, little head. on my shoulder-so;
A sleepy kiss is the only fare
Drifting away from the world we 20.
Baby and !. in the rocking chair
See. where the firelogs glow and spark.
Glitter the lights of the Shadowland
The raining drops on the window-hark!
Are ripples tapping upon its strand.
There. where the mirror is glazing dim,
A lake lies shimmering. cool and still
Blossoms are WaVering Ger It's brim-
Those over there on the window sill.
Rock slow. more slow in in the dusk light
Silently lover the anchor down.
Dear little passenger, say Good night
We've reached the haTbor of Shadow
town.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
Shop Talks on Advertising.

: a merchant. says: II have a fixed I
. appropriation for advertising and I
, naturally I desire to make it go as
> far as possible What would YOU I
= advise me to do2" Ny dear sir. I
. there is only one thing for you to do. I
= Use business Judgment in selecting
> your medium and advertise in q pa
. Der having a circulation which :
! reaches into every home: q paper
= knowing it's circulation and having
> 10 fear to quote IT to advertisers. :
> such q medium is The Herald. It's
. growing popularity among our mer-
; chants IS q guarantee that It brings
, results Call up phone So and let
y us prove &c % YOU.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
His Rapid Improvement.

IlNNINI1Il
How are you coming along at golf?'
''Oh. fine
Break any records yet2''
well I've broken twenty-siX golf
sticks. the front gate. the honeysucile
vine. the cats back and my right leg
since I began playing, so 1 guess I'm
coming strong"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
knew the SEX. Perhaps.
CPhiladeiphia Press.)

Editor wonder If that new COM
positor Is merely a typographical blum
der OF a philosopher
Assistant-What is il. nOw2
Editer-He set up this: Time and tide
wait for woman,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18

Mrs. W. s. Ellerbeck and Miss Edythe
EHerbeck entertained yesterday after
noon at a delightfully."- informal Ken
sington in honor of Miss Winnie Wei
by, whose marriage takes place next
Wednesday. The afternoon was spent
most delightfully."-, one Of the surprises
being a shower Of china for the bride.
The table where the supper was served
was decorated with an old fashioned
wedding cake in which were hidden the
ring. the thimble and the pennies for
the lucky girls. The guests numbered
about twenty.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18

We may be pardoned for indplging
the hope that the Idaho delegation
didn't take that Chart loving cup home
without properly christening it.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
The SALT LAKE HERALD
Published Every Day in the Year
BY THE HERALD COnPANY
Terms Of subsorIptIon:

DAILY AND SUNDAY-One month, s.
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Eastern offices, w. J.. Morton in
charge-l50 Nassau ST.. New York. 81
washington 81. Chicago.
Subscribers wishing address Of paper
changed must give former as well as
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All papers are continued until explicit
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The Herald can be obtained at these
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House
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ley News Depot.
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ST. LOuis-rhe Planters me SoulieIll'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18
ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN.

THE WESTERN ELECTRIC COM
L pany of Chicago is said to be the
largest employer of young men in that
big city. Fifteen hundred Of them are
OF the payrOlls Of the company iW va
rious capacities. Recently an investi-
cation conducted by the executive OH
GERS resulted in the discovery that
many Of their young men were gam
bling on horse races and in other ways.
that they were drinking to excess and
consuming large numbers Of cigarettes.
Then the following notice was posted:
Playing the races and all other
forms Of gambling, immoral cOnduc-
and the excessive use Of liquor or
cigarettes greatly impair ones useful
ness. The best business houses in this
city do not desire the services Of those
who practice any Of these things. No
tice is hereby given that any employee
so abusing himself is subject to dis
missaI"
Speaking for the company, Superin-
tendent Mitchell is quoted as saying
that there is no disposition to be hard
on the young men. They viii be al
lowed to smoke cigarettes in mOdera-
ton and to indulge in intoxieants to
moderation But they must not prac-
tice either habit to excess. and they
must not gamble, He says he is con-
WINGED that cigarettes and liquor cloud
the intellect and that gambling takes
the minds OF the young men OF their
work
In this connection IL is a significant
fact that the Western Electric com
panyy is not the first big corporation to
take action along the lines suggested in
the notice The Illinois Central rail-
way, the Chicago. Burlington & Quincy.
Marshall Field & Co. and the Farwell
company have within ten days posted
notices Of a similar character. In eff
feet, the young men have been told that
they must lead clean lives or they must
give up their positions.
One thing is certain and that is. the
men who smoke and drink and gamble
excessively will sooner or later be out
run by the men who don't, and the
sooner they come to a realizing sense
of the fact the better off they will be
Their employers viii likewise be better
Off. for the man of steady habits in
variably does better work, In the LONG
run, than the fellow who is unsteady
The ultimatums that have gone out are
intended as much for the good of tn,
men as for the good Of the employers
The net result should be an improve
mem all along the line.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18

Mrs. lie Grande Young and the Misses
Young entertained at a very delight
full luncheon yesterday in compliment
to Mrs. Harold Russell The guests
We're seated at three tables and COW
ers were laid for twenty-one. The Ia
BILE decorations were nasturtiums and
centerpieces of brilliant yellow were
used. The guests We're mainly the old
friends of Mrs. Russell.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18

The Herald certainly appreciates the
kind expressions from the washington
correspondents, published in yesterdays
issue. Somehow we had an idea that
that bunch of bright men would know
a good newspaper when they saw one.
Now we are sure they are as good
judges Of a newspaper as can be found
IN the country.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18

Walker Salisbury left yesterday for
the east where he viii re-enter col
lege.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-18

Miss Helen Bamberger left yesterday
for the east where she will enter Nor
ristown seminary in New Jersey.