The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1903-04-04
THAT REMINDS ME.

THAT REMINDS ME.
An old Scottish farmer being elected
member of the local school board
visited the school and tested the in
telligence of the class by his questions
His first inquiry was:
Moo, boys, can Ony O. you tell me
what naething iS?"
After a moments silence a small
boy in a back seat arose and re-
piled:
'Tt's what We gle me t'other day for
haudin' yer horse
%
Two women and bright little girl
occupied seats in a tram car one even
ing. The little girl attracted attention
by her questions and answers. While
it was at a standstill a pretty woman
evidently a friend of the two in the
! car, passed along.
20 dear! There's Mrs. Sergeant. My!
She is such a handsome woman" said
the girl to her friend.
Yes, she is beautiful, assented the
friend
The little girl was looking out Of
the window after the figure strolling
up the hill, Presently she turned in
her seat.
Say, mamma. you look just like that
LADY,
do I, dear?" asked the mother
yes. Just 'zactly-all 'cept the
| head"
The little girl is still wondering why
| the car full of people laughed.
! Of a well known and somewhat &c
centric French writer the following
story is told in CasselPs Saturday
Journal. Meeting one day in the street
a publisher with whom he was on
friendly terms, the author proposed
that they should take bath together.
Accustomed to the eccentricities of his
friend, the publisher smilingly consent
ed, and the pair made their way to a
bathing establishment, where two hot
baths were prepared for them. The
publisher had only just begun to set
tie himself down to the enjoyment of
his bath when the author appeared at
the door with a bulky manuscript.
Now, my dear friend said he, "since
you cannot run away, 1 will read you
my five-act tragedy" The reply of
the publisher is not recorded but it
was probably more forcible than ele-
CANT.
Five-year-old Mary has a cat, of
which she is very fond. 1t is exceed
ingly black and rejoices in the name
its voice is squeaky, and it annoyed
Mary's brother so much the other day
that he called to Mary and asked her if
there wasn't something she could do
to quiet it. Mary went away and
shortly afterwards, her brother hear
ing vociferous feline complaints, ran
out to see what was the matter. and
found Mary with a machine oil can
in her hand from which she was pour
incr oil int ba Iii
said Mary to the kitten, II guess you
won't squeak any more"
Charles said a sharp-voiced wo-
man to her husband in a railway car,
do you know that you and 1 once
had romance in railway carr"
Never heard of it," replied Charles
in subdued tone
I thought you hadn't: but don't you |
remember it was that pair of slippers |
l presented to you the Christmas be-
fore we were married that led to our
union? You remember how nicely they |
ftted-don't you? Well, Charles, one !
day, when we were going to a picnic, |
you had your feet up on a seat, and !
when you weren't looking I took your
measure. But for that pair of slippers
l don't believe we'd ever been mar
ried.''
A young unmarried man. sitting by,
took down his feet from
a seat.
One of the first acts of a certain
bumptious young squire was to address
a meeting of the villagers, who were
told that to get along with him they
must invariably be polite, punctual
and precise!' The latter part of the
injunction seems to be have been TAX
IN to heart, for within a week the
young squire, having been left by his
field while hunting, came upon a small
BOY in by-lane.
''Ah, my boy" began the squire.
have you seen anything of the hounds
ately?"
''Yis. squirrel"
''When?"
.Larst Toosdey week. squire"
''Where?"
Half moile oop T. road. squire"
And it was the squire who forgot to
)e polite.
An Irishman, as was plain from his
rogue, went into a shop the other day
o buy eggs.
What are eggs today?" !
Eggs are eggs today, Paddle re- :
lied the shopman, looking quite :
LEASED with himself at two or three G
ustomers who happened to be in the a
hop. +
Faith, I'm glad to hear so,'' said q
hickenS"