The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-09-11
"LUNATECS. !"

a saturating sense of her presence
chung about him like a perfume. IAN
gourously. sweet; he sat helplessly con-
tent, engulfed by loves strang obses-
faded and died away. The earth lay
gray and ghostly between the dark and
the dawn. and the fever of love grad
ually gave place to the chill ague of
doubt Like the returning tide, the
! habitual thoughts of years rushed into
his mind and swamDed the volcanic
island upon which loves passionate up
heaVaE had given him brief fOOthOld.
He to marryi To be tied down forever.
His eyes sought the faint outline of his
yacht which was growing clearer in the
creeping dawn. He thought of all the
fair, free places of the earth which it
had been his to roam at will, commits
ted to none. Fear of the future haunt
ed him: he knew himself so well: he
had loved often enough before; he knew
how inevitably, sometimes slowly,
sometimes suddenly the glamor of pas
sion died away. How could he hope
that it would be different in this case?
Yet, if he could persuade himself that
the theory OfsaffinitieS was not beau
tiful myth this woman was surely his
destined mate. his physical and mental
complement. Her very likeness to him
self Increased his doubts: the risk was
as great for her as for him: if their
venture failed. her smooth existence,
with its eDicurean refinements and
| large ease, would be marred by the
/ soul-wearying friction of an unhappy
! marriage. 1t was broad day before he
flung himself upon his bed and fell into
an uneasy sleep.
He was reused to the complications
/ OF life by shaving water and letter
1t was from her.
! L cannot marry YOU" it began abb
ruptly. Forgive me. and leave in the
morning without trying to see me- In
deed, it will be best for both of u.s. l
believe you are as untitled for matri-
1nony as I am. Think of all our con-
Versations on the subject, in which l
was absolutely sincere, as 1 believe you
were. 1 have always feared that the
time might come when inciina ton would
fight against lifelong resolution, and
| hoped that l had steeled myself against
what a wretched fiasco And ali the
while am certain that such a denoue-
| ment was as unprecedented on your
part as on mine-the thought is both
fattoring and humiliating; this is some
times . paradox. but the occasion gives
it pi Oof We are in love now ana might
| be happy for time, but can you blind
/ yourself to the beyond? I cannot. We
should both be wretched, you know it
you know it. 1 have writhed mentally
all night.
Il do not know what is to blame-so-
ciety.. circumstances. or human nature
but l do know that have recalled every
married couple of my acquaintance and
domesticity l knew some of them be-
fore-bird-like spirits, beautiful and
swift Where is their mental alertness
now, their keen interest in the mysteri-
GUS issues of life. their eager welcome
of new lights. their young enthusiasms
or mature philosophies-not one left to
mock the petty annoyance of the butch
er'S bill. They have all grown duh,
stOlid, bourgeois, narrow, - conservative,
odious, and. worst of ALL they do not
know it. Why is it?@ Why? 1 cannot
face it even for you. The idea of you
and I as a respectable married couple is
simply farcical q look beyond the hon
eymoon) we would end in tragedy, or
body else. Now 1 am enamored of my
own personality-and yours. Am 1
talking nonsense? I cannot tell My
point of view may be hopelessly distor-
ted for all l know. What a muddle it
all isl But there is one thing clear in
my mind at present, and that is my
wish to find you gone in the morning.
Judge me by yourself, forgive me, and
please please go.
He read this extraordinary commune
cation with mingled amazement and
chagrin. So while he had been enduring
misery all night she had suffered the
self-came throes, both unnecessarily.
And now according to all the laws of
logic should come a sigh of blessed re-
lief. Where was it? Full of self-dls-
gust he realized that it was not forth
coming. Good Lord" he froaned,
what sort of thing am - / have been
thirsting for freedom all night, and now
feel deeply injured and defrauded be-
cause she has done the same. must
put an end to this l wonder how she
feels noW-I wonder if" a sudden
brilliant thought struck him. he nur-
ried through his dressing and posted
himself in a Widowed recess upon the
landing, keeping watchful guard upon
her bedroom door.
She appeared presently, advancing
with tagging steps, from which the
usual elasticity was noticeably absent.
Catching sight of him she hesitated for
a moment. and then came forward, feel
ing odiously bereft of her cherished self
possession.
The first glances between them were
like the opening passes of two wary
duelists, each intent upon the others
next move.
Il beg your pardon for disregarding
your wishes" he began, calmly court
eous. Il should like to ask you ques-
ton first. then, if you still wish it,
will co.
She made a gesture of assent.
cat what time did you write that let
ter?"
"At o'clock this morning"
Can you truthfully assert that by
o'clock you had not regretted it?''
She flushed guiltily-had he somehow
discovered that she had sent a flying
chambermaid to try and rescue it before
it was delivered?
what does it matter whether I re-
GREETED it or not" she said evasilvely.
1T does not affect the point at all; it
would only mean that the whole ground
had to be gone over again.
you might come to a different conclu-
sion,' he said with a ghost of a smile, I
feel positively certain that you did and
do regret it,"
How can you be certain?'' she demand
ed defiantly.
Because you are my exact counterpart
and l Judge you by myself. will frank,
ly confess that 1 also spent a wretched
night. I went over the same ground as
you did and reached the same conclusion.
OF course l was powerless to act upon it,
but if 1 could 1 would have taken to my
yacht and fed
She turned upon him with crimson
ger and modification.
Then why did you stay to insult me?