The Van Buren press., 1903-05-23

Hanks riding out with him, but she
didn't seem to Of, and so she must
keep dancing with him right along,
bout every other time. But | didn't
find any fault-not a mite. As usual
was a-hearing and a-seeing, but l
wasn't saying a word.
1t was Just about the darkest night
you ever seen. No moon for six
weeks. and the stars behind 40 miles
of solid cloud. And it happened
along about midnight, or some after,
or thcrcabouts, that some blamed
rapscallion, or rapscallions, went out
of that barn and into the shed where
the hosScs was hitched. And this
here fcller, or fellcrs, they walked
around while-prob'bly did-and
probly they talked some, and they
seem TO have entered into an unholy
and lowdown conspiracy to make
trouble for this here Hanks. And
what did these here scalawags do but
swap them phaeton wheels of
Hanks s's-put the behind ones on
for'ard, and the fcr'ard ones on be-
hind-postive fact, that's just what
these here unknown, lowminded fell
lers done. Must a-made powerful
funny looking ve-hiclt-el of it if any
body could u-seen it, which they
couldn't on account of the dark;
must a-looked a good deal like buff
ferlo, high in front, low behind.
Well, the dance went on till mebby
three o'clock or someyhere there and
then il began to break up, we all be-
lieving in early hours out our way.
Hank felt around and found his hoss
and united il and backed il out, and
then felt around and found Matilda
and helped her into the ye-hick-el. She
sot dowa and jolted herself up and
down once or twice and says she:
"Mr, Hanks, pears to me that there's
something out o. whacll with this here
buggy
"Oh, no." says Hanks, who by this
time was in himself and had started
the hoss, its all right-little uphill
here, that's all"
Matilda still thought things wasn't
all O. X, and said she reckoned she'd
have to tie weight to her feet 90
keep from falling out back'ards.
Just you stay calm" says Hanks.
"We're going up old Spinners hill
must be most to the top" and he let
the hoss jog along slow to rest occa-
sionally, cause he seen it was hard
pull. SO they poked along, and Hanks
said he reckoncd he'd have to get out
and walk if the hill got much sleeper.
When they did happen to strike lit
tie hill they both had TO lean foTards
and hang onto the dashboard TO keep
from rolling out behind. And every
few minutes stopping to let the hoss
rest.
By-and-by Matilda begun to get
spunky, and says she:
I've been over this here road be-
fore and don't remember no such aw-
full hang-on-aNd-last-foreyer hill.'
"Oh, that's all right" says Hanks,
"now were goin up the Gristmili
hill"
But where was the holler bctwiXt
Spinner's hill and the Gristmill hiil|
inquiries Matilda,
"Only way | can figure it out is that
the road commissioners must a-tilled it
up and made one long Hill Of it, says
Hanks. Cant tell what a road COM
missioner will do, you know
So they poked along for another half
hour, saying nothing, Then says
Hanks;
Matilda, this does seem to be
some considerable right smart bit Of an
emineuce. don't altogether fathom
the mystery of IT," Then after some
more hard climbing, with hoss resting
frequently says Hanks; Bet a dollar
N half we're on the wrong road. Reck-
on we might bear OIL to the left
So they beared ofI-stili uphill, Then
they bearcd oiY to the right-more hill.
Then they jagged in all directions
stil up'ards, Ike the Excelsior feller.
Then after going for a mile n half
straight up a big hiil they turned
square around and started back just
as steep,
"Well, hang me- says Hanks, "this
beats the Rocky mountains and the
Him Layers rolled into oueI Wen get
out Of 1t If it Kills the hoss." and he
hit the animal crack with the whip
and went tearing along ike a passen-
ger train, them both freezing 20 the
dashboard for dear life, And bout the
time they'd Travelled five miles in mis-
ccllancuus directions, the hoss on
dead run, ii begun to get some light,
and they seen them there unnatural
hind wheels looming up each side II
'em, and Hanks just sort o. sunk back
into stopper, But Matilda didn't take
TO the stopper notion at all, and rile up
and says She;
"S,op that hoss, you oud0cjous VII
lian! Haul me around all night in such
q high'shouldercd RIG ~ this, viii you,
and talk TO me bout going up the side
Of Mung Bmug mountain Lcmme
out 'and She hoped oycrthe wheel and
struck out for home, which She reached
about sun.up. And little later Hanks
drove into town, with the wheels still
the same, him not knowing how TO fix
'em; and by strange coin'ctdc'cuce
me and passel of 'ome 20 or 80 others
which had been at the dance happened
20 be ON the corner when he went past.
felt we ought 60 be cheerful and
neighborly to him. he having come into
our midst stranger for his health, 50
| ,iup. out!