New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-11-22
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

tiny Lancashire hamlet elects a mock Mayor
each year, The residents Of the village find great
entertainment in masqueradng as the ancient
borough Of WorstOn." With splendid seriousness
the candidates Issue addresses. and Ill the ISL
dents Of the neghbOrhood are supplied with voting
papers, the women voting as well as the men
The duly elected Mayor always assumes the style
Of a Privy Councillor and the rank of q knight
The holder Of the Office for several years has been
the Right Hon. Sir William Bullock" a Iaborer
He has his robes Of Office a gorgeous cooked hat
and huge brass chain and badge. The corporation
meets at the village inn, and there pondero1isly
discusses such moving questions as the repaintiug
of finger posts. At the coronation OF Edward this
mock borough had it's civic rejoicings. and for
warded an address to the King who acknowledged
it as courteously as he did the congratulations of
London Edinburgh.
A MODERN LULLABY.
Hnshaby. lullaby. go to sleep now!
You've had your milk from sterilized cow;
From microbes and germs you have nothing to
fear
Hushaby lullaby
Shut your blue eyes:
babe of to-day
Never whlmpeIS CrieSl
Hushaby lullaby, tn food that you had
Came straight from the chemist-prepared lust
Fed by machinery. are you not glad
That science has taught all these methods so
new? 81
Hushaby. lullaby.
Crying is out Of date.
1 must repeatD
Hushaby, lullaby! If you are good.
Mother will call on you once every dav
So you may recognize her. as you should
An. she is rearing you III the right wayl
Hushaby. lullaby.
Dear little man:
L hope you appreciate
This splendid plan!
-(ClncInnau Commercial Tribuns
Berlin will soon have electric distance print
fDy granara
Through the contract with the Postofice Depart
ment, Of which the telegraph and telephone svs-
tenn is a part, the Ferndrucker Company is able
to establish special service for subscribers in
Berlin and its suburbs. who can exchange COM
munications in printed type by wa of the main
telegraph Office. The apparatus is similar to a
typewriting machine. After connection is made
communication can be had by simply manipulating
the machine like a typewriter; even If the ad
dressee be absent. the printing is as if some
one were at the instrument.
AS IT MAY BE.
Hello. Laura. is that your
This is George. Say, I can't get anything 10 eat
oo"nt mo here to-day The hotels and restaurants
so0d Glhner ready for me this evening when / get
.,rooe can do It, George. The girl says all the
s stOceTy stores and meat markets out here are
ki,S en- cooA up pudding or something of that
il G2nt do do that either No milk to-day The
,tM,eH great Scott! Can't you send one Of the
f IIiiloISn IN with luncheon OF bread and mo-
m y o, Johnny says there no trains or street
ears running. All the men have lust gone on
sLlINe But say, maybe ! cam ~
wen, so on Maybe you can WHAT"
5ut there was response
f;seryoody at the telephone office had gona on
strlke-tChicago Tribune. e0"0 oH
Archdeacon Sinclair told the ..sent-raato+at
FIedge Association" of the diary OF a Scotch sbe,
nerd which read: "Sunday-Up in the n,ornyr,, :, :
"a dram twhiskey) Went out to see the sbeao
dram. Came home to breakfast-a dram, 49,,
round the house-a dram Washed and drassa7 g.
church-a dram. Took brandy before ,,oi =.
kirk. lest l should smell of whlskev in IT, -
OF the Lord!' The name of the association, -
sponsble for the Archdeacon's own ovats
He was once lunching alone in the borsa 20
friend confined TO his room by an accident IT,
housekeeper brought up tray of good tbtnvs -
asked the Archdeacon what he would hava "a 1r,i
for she said I've 'erd you're not a tsmnarat-
gentleman"
Quite Suficient-'Madam." began the agent m
NJ s. short opened the door, have you a u1ano, 90
Yes. she answered $1,000
We'll" he continued. Il am introducing a No.
AUTOMATIC ATTACHING mt for pianos and IL you'-
Don't want it, Interrupted Mrs 8 1.O1l- nia,o
nas a sherius attachment, and I guesa that Mi
hold IL for whIA"-lChicaxo News 4