davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1903-10-08
7trE FOOL WHO WON.
Horocc GrccIcy's First Experience
In New work city

In New YORK city.
When Horace greeley first went TO
New Yor, citv. green awkward
country boy. no mot with discourage
mcut For two days hc trampcd the
streets. visiting two-tHrds of the print
ing offices i'm the town ana always re
,clyfu- 81 cold refusal of his services.
His DIcgraphrr. Mr. ". a. Linn, says
that hy Saturday night Greeley was
satisfied THAT the city offered hlm no
hope of a Hgug. He decided to leave
for the country ON Monday. before his
last dollar WAS gone.
II happened that some acquaiutances
Of his landlord. who called on Sunday.
told him Of an office where a compos-
Itor was wanted Greeley went there
Monday morning before the place was
omen Ills 9ppraraucp was so upcoutb
that he would have been rejected there
also if the foreman had not had dim-
Guilty i'm getting a compositor for a
piece of work he wanted done.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1903-10-08
THE CLICK
IN THE HALL
IOrigiuaLl

halterlus 'Irr to go 10 IiaIy TO IN
Ftruct a -otp~ oil operators ioi y new
line tAeu building From Italy was
called to Sicily on similar business
where l remained several months.
one day Il ship came IN from Ameri-
ca with passengers who were mostly
pleasure or health seekers, among
them am American gentleman Mr. Is
ten and his daughter Alice. Alice Es-
ten was In delicate health, and this
was the reason for their making the
trip Mir. LSlru was wealthy and spent
his money IuNLshly. lie took the best
rooms in the hotel and had all the
servants at his beck, each striving 70
win the coins hc Kept i'm his pocket to
secure thnr attention. I made his ac-
guaIuHuce One evening. and when he
learned rhat ! was q tolographcr he
told mc that he had been an operator
himself, had secured an interest i'm a
telegraph lime which had aftcrWard
been sold ont To a combination for 50
much money that his share had made
him rich
lie Was very unWisr in not conceal
Ing wealth, for the $ictlan Iri2and5
a"e noted for kidnapping rch people
and Hnal.n- them for ransom They
soon spotted Mr.. Eson and one day
when ha wue climbing am ascent back
Of '." ."'.' "."u" took hlm IN charge.
M..n .". ..a "ll return for dinner
search W." made ahd ne was not to
q Fs4 n f %
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1903-10-08
Constipation

Does your head ache? Pain
back Of your eyes? Bad
taste in your mouth ? It's
your liver! Ayers Pills are
liver pills. They cure consi-
patton, headache, dyspepsia.
1Er- III --nrui-a.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1903-10-08

Desmond had broodcd so deeply over
his loss that at the time of the murder
he was I'm state bordering on mad
ness. AZ intervals he could not recall
the recent past and was In terror lest
he should Kill the man who had sup
planted him When the deed WAS done
# seemed to be revealed 10 him that
he had done It, lie was so far con
WINGED Of this that his attorney had
no other recourse hut 20 cntor plea
OF insanity
AUSTIN ALLEN KINGSLEY.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

Fleece winter gales will strike us
about the sixth and kill the peaches.
1t will be much colder about Hud-
sons Bay than it is here. The moon
will be full on the thirteenth, in
apogee on the twenty-second and in
an 1nebriate asylum on the twenty
fifth. The sign this month will be in
Aries the Ram which is the daddy
OF the whole zodioc. Along about
the thirtieth the housewife will
carry the old geranium stumps out
OF the cellar and put fresh brine on
the meat. This will be a sure sign
spring has come.
0 robin, robin redbreast we soon
will hear you sing, the blue birds
and the swallows will both be on the
wing, the lilac buds will quicken
and soon begin to swell, the daisies
and the violets will bloom down in
the dell, the horney-handed farmer
will scour up his pillow and the great,
big, lazy buzzards will be hunting
for dead cow.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12
Bagley.

Verify it looks like the spring com
ing.
Mr.. John Wilson and wife and Emos
Clifton and wife were welcome visitors
at the J. T. Clifton home last week.
The hotel Burlington is hard worked
to attend all the travelling public and
regular boarders.
The 4th Of March was memorable
day for Mr.. Rozell Willard and wife,
Gyrzilda Day who on that day, took
the train for Dubuque where they were
united in marriage. The bride and
groom are among the best of our socie-
ty and are we'll known, they having
lived in Wyalusing all their lives. The
groom has nice home recently pur-
chased in Bagley, and like the sensible
people they are will settle down to
house keeping at once. Willard IS a
paper hanger and painter by trade,
and their coming among us will be
hailed with real pleasure and satisfac-
ton.
Yes we will have lime kiln and the
promise of brick yard this season,
and if all the building now contemp-
lated goes on we surely will need lots
of such material.
We have no very sick people just
now, colds and it's attendant evils being
about all our people are brushing up
against just now.
Four cars we're loaded with house
hold goods for different parts of the
great west Marshall Scott and Wilson
for Canada, VIM. Ball, Mimi; and
Louie Ready, North Dakota.
Chas. Harvill's horse saw is in town.
DR.. Mecum, Geo. Hodge and Miss
Carrie Gasner were in Prairie du Chen
one day last week.
: Strong talk of another passenger
train being put on the Burlington to
accommodate the fast increasing trav-
cling public.
Julius Ploudke, owing to declining
health is anxious to sell certain lots
and other property in Bagley. We are
just now sadly in need of more tenant
houses. Who will build them?
Frank Ready went to Elkader laSC
week on business.
Jack Smith was here from the bridge.
Tom Harvill jumped around so live
ly after that sweet little girl was born
at his house that he jumped twenty
dollars out of his pocket and lost it on
the streets of Bagley. Too bad, but |
think the person finding it ought to
have the moral decency to return it to
the looser.
The Luthern church bazaar and
entertainment on the evening of March
the 26, splendid time promised. The
chance of life time to get a good
lunch for ten cents and the play
thrown in, don't miss it for the world.
JJ&T
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

Mrs. Polly Jewell died at her
home in this city Wednesday of last
week, aged n years. Deceased was
born in Mentz, N, Y. July 10, 1926.
Her husband died many years ago.
She was ill but a few days with
pneumonia and the fatal termination
of the disease was unexpected.
The last sad rites we're conducted by
Rev. J. T. Morgans Thursday.
Surviving children are Mrs. Martha
J.King of Burr Oak, Ia, M. j. Jewell,
Alma. Wash, and Mrs, j. S. Smalley
and Martin Jewell of Lancaster.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12
OFFICE OF
SUPERINTENDENT OF SCHOOLS
Lancaster Grant County, Wis.
TEACHERS EXAMINATIONS,
Grant County. M
Grant County.

The Special Series of Public Examinations of Teachers
of County for the Spring of 1903 will be held at the
following times and places:
At Fennimore, Friday and Saturday March ID
and H. lar.
At Pattevile Friday and Saturday, March 20 and 81
At Lancaster, Monday and Tuesday, March 30 and 81
These Examinations held especially for those
whose certificates expire this spring. and for those who
have certificates but desire to teach during the spring
term expected that all who desire certificates will
take advantage these opportunities and appear at one
of the points above mentioned
These examinations will be for Third Grade Certi-
Gates only as the Annual Examination for Second and
First Grade Certificates will be held at the close of the
Annual Series of Fall Examinations in August Private
Examinations will be held only in strict accordance with
law-See School Code, PIP. 1880.
Examinations will open at o'clock m, of the first
day. and o'clock a NJ. of the second day. The follow
ing program will be strictly followed:
First day:-Orthoepy, Spelling Writing Geography.
P NJ Physiology, Agriculture, Constitutions Grammar.
Second day:-Arithmetic, History Manual. p M.
Theory and Art Reading.
CHAS. H. NYE,
County superintendent
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12
Local JOttin9S.

Mrs. John Fawcett is visiting in
Platteville.
&C. w. Mauer. was over from
Fennimore Monday,
County Clerk Griffis was in Bos-
cobel Saturday on business.
Mrs. Thos. Mcdonald is spend
ing the week with friends at Mont
fort
II. F. Orion is in the Ohio oil
fields looking after business matters
this week.
W. E. tathrop, the real estate
hustler of Fennimore, was In the
city yesterday.
AID. and Mrs. A. G. Knapp
were in Chicago this week Mr..
Knapp returned Tuesday.
The Political Equality club will
meet Monday, Mar. 10th, with Mrs.
J. d. Hatch at the usual time.
Mrs. Bush of Michigan is a
guest of her parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
Lothrop, the latter being very i'll.
John Mankel advanced his sub
scription three years Tuesday and
secured three numbers on the buggy.
Big concert will be given the
first week after lent by the Badger
club. Watch for date and further
particulars.
Attorneys Platt Whitman of
BOscobel and O. B. Thomas of
Prairie du Chen were here on bust
ness Tuesday.
Miss Barbara Schloesser went to
Chicago Tuesday where she will
purchase a complete line of up-to
date millinery.
Mrs. w. M. Shaddick and her
. three little boys of Benton visited at
the home Of J. G. Jordan the latter
part of last week.
The robin and the blue birds
are here and the small boy is carry
ing on the annual marble campaign.
Spring cannot be far away
Here are some of the reasons
why we like Lancaster: Because
we cannot be run over by a street
car; or get injured in a falling elev-
ator; because the street signs are
plain in the night; because cabbage
is cheap; the healthful onion can be
eaten for dessert, and social func-
lions do not require full dress; be-
cause the air is pure, women are
good looking and the children are
the best in the world; because men
are honest, politicians are good
natured and the surrounding scenery
unequalled. s.
The happiest man in the world
is the common. everyday chap,
who makes his own living, pays his
own bills and has the respect of his
neighbOrs. He saves a little money
as he goes along, but he doesn't try
to get a corner on the local output
and he is a slave to neither ambi-
ton nor society. He never expects
to wear out the seat of his pants in
the senate, and when he slides into
his clothes in the morning he never
wastes any time trying to pick out
the right tint of socks, suspenders
and neckties that will blend with
the general effect. He wears a
''biled" shirt when he feels like it,;
and when his pet corn begins to
jump.he whips out his jack knife
and he cuts four inch cash in the
side of his boot and nothing is said
about it in the papers. He has an
appetite like cyclone and he never
has to sit up nights to poultice his
conscience. He believes in the
doctrine to live and let live, and
when he encounters one of the
needy he doesn't stutter with his
pocketbook. The plain plug of a
man is happy because he is satisfied
and doesn't spend the best years Of
his life in yearning for something
about four sizes too large for him.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12
RHEUMATISM.

Paralysis, wasting Of limbs, Epilepsy,
st. Vitus dance, Spinal troubles, Ca
tarrh, Deafness, Asthma, Dyspepsia,
Liver troubles, Etc. Cancer and Piles
no knife, no risk
a... Consultation Free
to all who apply every afternoon.
Ladies are especially invited to attend these
free demonstrations
Come and be Convinced
Of the marvellous power of vital magnetism
Cures will be made tina, will astOnish The
most Skeptical. no matter how long standing
or hopeless the case may appear. Come and
see them
~ Arise and Walk
All those who are on crutcheS or canes, af-
ficted with rheumatism, paralysis, asthma
st. VituS dance, Epilepsy. Deafness. ETC.,
are a IL invited tn take advantage OF our tree
treatment offer.
Special Notice
Private apartments have been secured at
the Grand Central hotel where all who de-
sire treatment may call during the months
Of March and April
Regular Staff Physicians
in attendance Consultation, examinatiO
thorough diagnosis and advice given and IT
found durable and treatment desired,
price within the reach of all will be named
and appointments made for treatment
OFFICE HOURS-8 a. m. to p m.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

CITY PROPERTY FOR SALE
The VIM. P. Stone house. Good
house, barn, fruit, with five lots. This
is good property and will be sold at
a bargain. Inquire of
48tf JNO. M. STONE.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12
ATTENTION HORSEMEN! The

ATTENTION HORSEMEN! The
breeding season is coming on apace and
the early bird will catch the, worms
Advertising will help you as it does
everyone else. The Herald has pug
chased new supply of material for
horse bills and speciality will be made
of this class of work this spring. Send
your orders in by mail or telephone
and they will receive prompt attention!
Prices as low as the lowest and work
is better than the best. aag
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

A Rockford, ILL.,, policeman, weight
500 pounds, joined the Masons re-
Gently. The Masonic goat went in,
sized up the candidate, and fled.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12
March Forecasts.

Come gentle spring and with you
bring the crocuses and daises, bring
balmy air and weather fair I long for
you like blazes. The snow and ice
are very nice little while, but surely
we've had enough of weather tough
and skies that show obscurely,
Then hike this way Q flowers Of May
and bring, us gentle breezes ere full
of grip our noses drip and we are
rent with sneezes. I long to see on
bush and tree the buds begin their
swelling. Iyearn to hear SO sweet
and clear the blue birds carols we'll
ING.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12
Business Locals.

STALLION FOR SALE:-A we'll
bred English Shire Stallion. Weight
about 1900. Color dark bay. Can be
seen at the Philips house barn. APP
ply to undersigned for further partic-
ulars. JOHN DECHow, Lancaster, Wis. If
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

A. J. HOWELL is still in the. mar
ket with the very choicest of straw
berry and raspberry plants. .@ 2tf
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

FOR SALE a first-class large house
in the best part of the city. Will rent
or exchange and pay the difference for
a farm. JOE WRIGHT, Lancaster. 47-tf
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

CHAS. w. BURR will send bas-
ket to Afford Bros Steam Laundry
every Wednesday morning. Basket
will return Friday evening. First-class
work. Your patronage is solicited. tt
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

A NEW lot of Klondike rings at
Burns. 5ltf
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

GIRL WANTED:-A the Philips
house. Call or write dolly
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

FOR SALE; Corner lot IN city of
Lancaster, with 8-room house, B blocks
south of post office. Apply to Mrs. j..
D. GRIswOLD. soft
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

IF YOU WANT some good business
or living rooms call on Ed H. HYDE. tt
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

WANTED: Laundry girl at Wright
house. Good wages. Aft
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12
HAND SHAVED hickory ak handles
at Burns for 10 cts. stiff

FOR SALE: AZ acres of land, good
house and new barn, located in second
ward. Formerly known as VandeWall
place also COWS and 200 chickens. For
particulars inquire of John J. Pendle-
ton at Philips house. Stiff
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

FOUR good apprentices wanted at
Miss Wilhelm's millinery store. 48tf
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

WANTED: Competent girl for gen
eral homework in small family. In
quire at store of j. Schreiner & Sons.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12
UNDERWEAR at cost at Burns.

WE'LL! WE'LL! WE'LL! 1t beats
all. What beats all? Why, the Red
Trunk cigar. A. If
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

bush and tree the buds begin Un0ll
swelling. yearn to hear SO sweet
and clear the blue birds carols we'll
ing.
dream of lambs which with their
rams are in the meadow skipping,
wake to find the winter winds is at
me still a nipping! The old ground
hog has slipped cog but that is no
good reason why spring should wait
and get here late and come all out OF
season. The barnyard hen gives
now and then premature cackle,
the BOOSTERS proud crow long and
loud and then their rivals tackle.
The old bull frog down in the bog
is clearing out his swallow and
wonders why the spring is shyI know
he wants to boiler. Then gentle
springdo come and bring us breezes
warm and vernal, I'm tired to death
of winters breath and roads that are
Internal!
March calls itself a spring month
but it usually comes IN a lying for 1t
doesn't resemble a spring month IN
this latitude any more than rabbit
resembles riding pillow. In March
the rabbits get busy and the crows
begin to nest again. The geese take
out marriage licenses and all of Gods
creatures obeythe scriptural mandate
to multiply aud replenish the earth,
The mares, the COWS, the ewes, the
snow. are striving for the belt as If
thew knew just what to do from
Teddy Roosevelt.
The report sent out by the Asso-
ciated Press that President ROOse-
welt has adopted coat of arms or a
pauldamentum upon which is en-
blazoned storck volant bearing a
baby in it's beak thanked on either
side with a rabbit couchant and a
cat rampant has been contradicted.
He is too much interested in Secre-
tary Wilson's efforts to produce a
breed of featherless chickens to
adopt heraldic design. The secre-
tary of agriculture the dispatches
state-is devoting his entire time to
this interesting experiment. He
wants breed of chickens in the al
together and seeks to strip the faith
full old Bibby of her clothes and turn
her out in the cold, cold world
featherless and forlorn. He would
be doing more for the chicken eating
sons of men if he would seek to
eliminate the neck and erase the
meatless back. If successful with
this experiment he will endeavor to
create a hairless dog that will not
need scraping and an udderless cow
that, can be MIXED with. a faucet!
The secretary of agriculture is a
crank on labor-saying animals.
Secretary Wilson: pray
Don't be foolish, don't get gay.
If on the hens no feathers grew.
What would the chicken pickers do?
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

FOR SALE: Residence property in
the third ward of Lancaster, known as
the Hannum place. Every conven-
fence, plenty of small fruit, shrubbery,
etc. Jas. WILLIAMS. 3t4f
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

The only important historical date
in March is the seventeenth, ST. Pat
rick's Day. ST. Patrick was jolly
dago who went to Ireland and posed
as true son of Erin and adopted an
Irish name. He chased the snakes
out Ireland into the sea except one
old he serpent. He finally coaxed
this old reptile into a box, damned
down the lid and threw him into the
ocean. The waves of the sea are
made by the writhing Of this SER
pent and the roar of the oceans is
caused by his meanings Those of
our readers who refuse to believe
this story are hereby mathematical
and communicated from the Anci-
ent Order of Ring-tailed Prevari-
Gators.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

BURNS has a good line Of shoes at
low prices.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

March will be a tempestuous
month. It always is. 1t came
in lynn and will go out a lammin.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

o Secretary Wilson: pray
Don't be foolish, don't get gay.
If on the hens no feathers grew.
What would the chicken pickerS do?
Turn your attention from the hen
And breed a race of beardleSS men.
But still. if mon no whiSkerS grew.
What would the bal berS have to do?
You might, perh ps, breed begin
OF men and woman without sin.
But if the world of sin you rob
How could the preachers hold their job?
On the fourth of March the Fifty
seventh congress climbed the
golden stair and Billy Mason
shed his senatorial toga. Billy was
born poor but healthy and carved
his way to the dizzy heights Of fame
by delivering impromptu extern
poraneous speeches which were full
of unctuous elOquence and lard
soaked humor. The trouble with
him however is that he doesn't re-
cOgnize the necessity of the whisper
and the pussy-foot in politics and
his laurels have been ruthlessly torn
from his bullying brow and after the
fourth of March he will attract less
attention than the bobtailed coyote
from Cripple Creek or the NANCY
mountain lion from Arizona. He
will soon become painful remini-
scence, a political capon, an abro-
gated leader, played out symphony
in leaf-lard.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12
GOto Burns for overalls and jackets

SMOKE a Red Trunk Cigar. If
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

FOR SALE-Heifers and steers
coming one year old; some two-year-old
heifers and cows.-JOE WRIGHT, Lam
caster, Wis. 3tf
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12

MONEY TO LOAN on good real
estate security. Apply to j. M. Teas
dale, Lancaster, Wis. 3tf
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-12
The Wonderful PrentisS
system.

for the cure of Chronic diseases here
tofore classea as incura bic by induc-
ton of
The Savannah morning news., 1903-06-07
LIVING EXAMPLES OF ANCIENT CELL COMMUNITIES

fall into this digestive torpor. But
now it was fast in the mass that
moved as a whole. Even if il was in
active itself, the sphere dragged it
along.
So. even during its digestive sleep,
it rolled toward new food supply,
avoided dangers, in brief, enjoyed all
the advantages of motion.
In exchange, the torpid single-cell
paid a certain tribute to the contigu-
Gus cells in return for their work.
Through the close crowding of the
soft cell-bodies it became inevitable
that some of the digested juices from
the fed cell should flow into the neigh
boring cells.
Without its being "willed" by any
of them, there began a compulsory
cooperation. If four cells moved an
other cell around while it was torpid,
they got some of the food absorbed
by it in return.
For a time this, the most simple
of all forms of mutual labor, took
place. now here, now there. wherever
and whenever a cell happened to seize
food. But gradually this cooperation
became practically inevitable. The
bladder or sphere bored its way
through the water IN a straight line
one pole in front, one pole behind
to meet the floating food. Now, what
happened?
The cells in the forward end of the
sphere obtained the most food.
The First Division of Labor.
So, in this part of the sphere. there de-
veloped certain number of cells that
fed, digested and became torpid con-
tinuously, until at last they did moth
ing else. ceasing entirely to furnish
motive power to the ball. But to ball