The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-02-20
Toby.

1 never DO business with a woman
that I don't th:nk Of a little incident
which happened when / was fist MIR
ried to your Ma. We set UP house
keeping in one of those cottages that
you read about in the story books. but
that you want to shy away from. when
it's put up to you to live in cne of them.
1t was just the place to go for a pic
mic, but it's been my experience that a
fellow does most of his picnicking be-
fore he's married.
/. Your Ma did the cooking and I hust-
led for things to cook, though / would
take a shy at it myself once in a while
and get up my muscle tossing fapjdckS
1t was pretty rough sailing, you tet~
but one way and another We managed
to get a good deal of satisfaction out
Of it. because we had made uu uur
minds to take our fun 2s we vent
along. With most people happiness is
something that is always lust A Gay
off. But / have made it a rule neve. to
put off being happy till tomorrow.
l was clerkinS in a general store at
that time. but | had a little weakness
for livestock. even then: and whine L
couldn't afford to plunge in it exactly.
| managed to buy q little Shoat that /
reckoned on carrying through the sum-
mer on credit and presenting with a
bill for board in the all. He was just
a plain pig when he came to us. and
we kept him in a little sly, bur we
weren't long in finding cut that he
wasn't any ordinary roOt-and-grunt
pig. The first / knew your Ma was
calling him Toby. and had turned him
loose. Answered to his name like a
dog. Never saw such a sociable T!g.
Wanted to sit on the porch with us
Tried to come into the house evenings.
Used to run down the road suuedling
for joy when he saw me coming ho1ne
from work.
Well it got on towards November
and Toby had been making the most
Of his opportunities. never saw d zig
that turned corn into fat so fast. ana
the stOuter he got the better his els
position grew. ! reckon l was attached
to him myself. in a sort of . sneakirg
way. but 1 was mighty f I'D of hog
meat, too, and we needed Toby in the
kitchen. So 1 went rou and had
him butchered.
When / got home to dinner next Cay.
I noticed that your Ma looked mighty
solemn as she set the roast Of pork
down in front of me, but / srraye1 off,
thinking Of something else. as 1 carved.
and my wits were off wool gather :nR
sure enough when / said:
will you have a piece Of Toby. my
dear?"
Well sir, she just looked II me for q
moment. and then she burst out cry
ing and ran away from the table. But
when 7 went after her and asked her
what was the matter, she stopped cry
ing and was mad in a minute all the
way through. Called me a heartIcss
cruel cannibal. That seemed to relieve
her SO that she got over her MAD md
began to cry again. Begged me to take
Toby out Of pickle and bury him I'm
the garden. / reasoned with her. end
in the end I made her see that rny
obsequies for Toby. with pork at eight
cents a pound. would be n pretty ex-
pensive funeral for us. But first and
last she managed to take my appetite
away so that I didn't want any roast
pork for dinner or cold pork for SUI per.
n night I took what was left Of
Toby to a store keeper at the Crossing.
who / knew would be able to gaza on
his hams without bursting into tears,
and got a pretty fair price for him..
I simpy mention Toby in PASSING, az
an example of why I believe women
weren't cut out for businnss-at east
~ III POI boofliESS.
had dealings with a good many Of
them first and last. and it's been my
experience that when they've got a
weak case they add their sex to Il md
win, and that when they've got q
strong case they subtract their sex
from it and deal with you harder tnan
q man. They're simply hound to win
either way. M / don't like to p'1y a
game where I haven't any show. When
q clerk makes a took break. I don't
want to beg his pardon for calling his
attention TO it. and I don't want him
to blush and tremble and leak a little
brine into a fancy POCKET handkerchiof.
A little change is a mighty soothing
thing, and I like q woman's ways too
much at home TO care very much for
them at the office. Instead of hiring
women. I try to hire their husbands,
and then l usually have them both
working for me. There's nothing ike
a woman at home to spur on a man at
the office.
(From Letters from 4 Self-NTade
Merchant to His Son." by George
Horace Lorimer. By permission Of
Small. Maynard & Co., Publishers, Bos-
ton. Mass.