New-York tribune., 1903-04-26
SQUIRTING NURSERY TALES.

Weekly" Mrs w; p McChntock' OF me Depart part
declared that such nursery tales as Jack and the
squint'' about them. and unfit for childish
reading. She has mapped out really moral 5,ir 1T
here faithfully reproduced.1
I'm panied when reflect upon the stuff that people
And fi5sI call without blush children's story;
Your Jack the Giant Killer has a nasty moral
And SBiuebeard" is wicked as It's CORY;
Which childhood in its innocence still swallows
I beg that you will substitute for all such sorry
The moral and instructive course which follows:
Until your child is seven let her feed her infant
On simple pretty tales about the fairies.
That such a fairy story anywhere is2.
TIL nine her soul may mediate as deeply as it can
CTwin benefit it very much to do so(. ,
The pious lucubratons of that most relg1ous man.
The bameless and improving MI Crusoe-
Her early teens with classic tales she may perhaps
OF Perseus. Jason. Hector and Ulysses
(Of course you'll kip all episodes in fair Calypsos
And Helen Cvhen. of course. you'll skip the
The educative stimulus contained in such tale
of course you'n take the greatest care and never.
To sec that it is duly expurgated.
Romantic tales might next afford some wholesome.
Knights errant in the cause of virtue nghting-
Their deeds. however brave. rot too exciting.
Then let her read Miss Charlotte Yonge, whose
Instinct with virtue, never met its fellow.
And possibly a novel by Miss Carey, now and
But never. never one that's bound in yellow.
Punch.
A stanza is going the rounds among the public
men of Washington, the authorship of which.
from the fact that it first heard among Sem
ators and Cabinet officers, is credited to various
statesmen. Secretary Shaw recited it at a Cabinet
meeting and was said to be it's author, but he has
dscaimed the honor. 1t is:
Go ask papa" the maiden said,
The young man knewsHapa was dead;
He knew the life papa had led
He understood when the maiden said,
Go ask papa"
r1,a raet Of Succees s-',rhe man 70 he admired In
this life" remarked the idealist ''is who does
not wait in the hone of becoming a fortunate
creature of circumstances but who goes forth and
moulds events to his own purposes.
Sorghum There's, no trying to guess the
market. Get enough money to make il go your
Star. ''''' .''
William E. Curtis reports a couple of Southern
epitaphs recent additions to his collection. One OF
them on the tombstone of a Tennessee farmer
who died very suddenly reads as follows:
All his virtues now allowing
Sudden did his life work cease.
He has passed from pain and ploughing
To harvest that is peace.
Another one in Ringold Ala. reads:
He left this world at slxty-eight.
This world and dim.
He boldly entered heavens gate,
And shut 1T after him.
The Obstinate Many.-'T very sorry that we
can't have harmony in our party. said the states
man ''Harnony is indispensa BILE
''Yes. but you won't agree with the other people"
"Of / went. And 1t Is exceedingly stupid
of them not to see that the only way to have har-
nlony is to come around ana agree with me-
IWashington Star.
The minister called at certain West Philadel-
phia home just after he had come to his new pas
torate The small boy present loag before his
mother came downstairs to greet the dominic
Trying to be cordial the minister said. How old
are YOU my little MANI I'm five at home. six in
school and three the cars the delightful
reply.
There is =. young in Atchison who is such a
good dancer that of his recent partners stopped
In the midst OF q waltz and said. Excuse me, but
dancing or wrestling SE'-tAtchlSon Globe
The southern counties of England have lately
been having ''colored rains II popularity sup
posed that this colorfng OF rain was caused by
volcanic dust from Martinique and St Vincent
Scientists assert that the same cause is behind
those recorded q year on the Continent
1t dust from that has been carried to the