davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
.MATRLHoNY

The attractive woman Of forty was
undergoing a rigid examination by
the young woman who had been mar
ried three months.
why have you never married."
she asked. "Of course, I know q
woman with your attractions has had
many chances; but, on the other hand,
you do not act like a person who has
been prevented from marrying be
cause Of some unfortunate love affair.
That's why venture to ask you why
TOu've never married"
"Of course I have had chances to
marry; most woman DO here" was
the reply. ITS simply because I'm so
happy unmarried that 1 have decided
never to give up single bliss. I've
done a lot Of observing Of married
people, and I'm quite ready to deliver
lecture on this subject Now here it
Is:
The peevishness Of young married
men, the ilI-grace with which they
bear the burdens Of married life, is
doing more to make young women
look with disfaYor on matrimony than
higher education OF a desire to be in
dependent When a young woman
sees q man who had a sweet-tempered
wife act aggrieved If she expresses a
desire for his company once in q
while; when she sees him bearish and
incOnsiderate Of his wife's well-meant
attentions; when she hears him COM
plain because his money must be
shared by another; when she hears
him grOan that he 10 longer has only
himself to think of-when a young
woman observes all these things, 1
say, she makes a silent VOW that she
viii remain a spinster all her life,
and decides that it is much better TO
struggle with the world than TO bear
the continual irritable taunts Of a
husband
The great trouble is that a man
wishes his wife TO be very much mar
ried, but he himself wants 70 be as
free as in his bachelor days. He
would consider himself ill-treated II
his wife should act as il she were still
a daughter in her fathers house. and
took 10 responsibilities He would
vehemently protest il he should come
home TO supper and find her absent,
and upon her return later hear her
say, oh, net some Of the old crowd
Of girls. and We decided we'd 20 for a
trolley ride. and then have q little sup
per sfterwsrd. All sorts Of a good
time He wauld declare at 2nce that
he had grounds for a divorce. He
would make things pretty lively II his
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
wztehina 2 go a. 40.

watch a spider sp'n his web, and !
shall be surprised II you ever kill
spider again u takes him about an
hour. somewhat less, for he is a mar
velously quick worker. and there is
something almost terrifying about the
skill with which he works, says Sue
cess. There is his body, 10 larger
than a match's head, yet, inclosed
within that mere dot Of nature there
Il an intelligence which is able first
TO prospect the area for his web. then
10 plan IL out ike a geOmetrician, and
then 70 carry out his plan with work
nanlike precision Meanwhile, too, IL
must be remembered. he is rot only
doing his thinking and his weaving,
but also spinning the material for il,
ali in that mite OF a body But, per
haps, the uncanniest feature Of the
whole thing is that the spider IS not
merely has his plan clear in his head,
but knows when he has made mis-
takes, and you can see him breaking
or misplaced threads here and there,
making taut slack lines and securing
Ehaky connections
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31

There is what may be called a
stone forest on San Nicholas island.
on Southern California This weird
forest is the result Of some awful erup-
tiCn that must have taken place long
ago and is described thus The origi-
nal condition Of the land was that OF
q huge forest. when an eruption Of the
Mont Pelee order swept down upon il,
blasting of the verdure and leaving
only the long stumps Of what were
once beautiful trees: then the out
break, as is often the case. caused the
sea 20 rush in on the land The action
Of the water and chemical remains OF
the eruption combined lime and Laval
transformed, after long years. the
stumps into solid stone. The general
condition Of the country now is a wild
and barren tract OF land. II consists OF
billy and sandy stretches Of dead for
esLalI the timber being stricken % the
ground and the trunks rarely showing
more than eight or nine feet above the
earth. Here and there a large mass
Of timber is seen clustered together as
though FOR protection against the in.
evit1ble disaster
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
PRACTICAL BREWER TELLS OF
DISCOVERY OF LAGER BEER

bottle Of beer he had buried and he
dismounted from his charger on reach
ing the well-remembered tree and dug
up the bottle and carried it to his
former master.
Old man he said, you sent me az
ter a bottle Of beer i've years ago.
Here is the beer now
The master embraced him, con-
graduated him on his success in life
and opened the bottle to share with
him its contents. Such excellent beer
neither had ever tasted before. It was
like old wine The master, as soon as
he learned that it was burial that had
so much benefited it, bought 1000 bot
ties Of beer, buried them, and five
years later sold them at a great profit,
for everybody that tasted the new
drink loved it.
In time the secret leaked out Brew
cries everywhere came to know that
beer. by lying, improved So they all
adopted the lying process, and they
called the new drink lying OF lager
beer, for lager means lying, as you
know.
In the past centuries they let beer
lie longer than we do now. This is a
fast age, you know"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31

Two practical brewers as they con
Yersed the other day had an arsu-
ment over the invention Of lager beer.
A third brewer joined them and said:
Lager beer WIS not invented. II was
discovered - accidentally discovered.
Here is the story as my grandfather
handed it down TO my father:
a saddIer Of the German town Of
Bamberg sent his apprentice one
morning in the Middle Ages for a bot
tie Of the beer they used in those days
"a vile beer that was drunk as soon
as it was brewed. The apprentice
bought the bottle, and on the way
home with it met a practical joker.
The joker said TO him.
Your boss is looking for you He
says you have spoiled three days work
and he is going to haste you with a
cart whip
AT this news the apprentice was so
scared that he buried the beer under
a tree and ran on and enlisted in the
army He prospered in the army. In
time he became an officer and got the
cross Of honor Then he thought he
would return to his native town.
When, with a long furlough, he
drew near the town, he recalled the
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
WHAT MAKES a GENTLEMAN
Qualities That Neither Wealth Nor
Education Can lmPart 20 a Man.

Qualities That Neither Wealth Nor
Education Can lmPart 70 q Man.
Archbishop Temple, the recently
deceased primate Of the established
church Of England and a man Of the
highest character. gave q short time
before his death the following outline
OF what he considered really gentle
manly conduct
The man who is thoroughly unset
fish in all small things, he is the man
in regard Of whom il is quite impOs-
sible for you not 20 feel, that man is
a gentleman Let his rank in society
be what il may, let him be ignorant OF
the ordinary c0nventiOuaiities OF
social intercourse. still, If the man
be trHIy selfsacrihcilg. If N his ordf-
nary relations with his fellows there
is true and genuine unselfshness, il
is impossible for any man who has
much 20 do with him not 10 feel That
nan is a gentleman don't care
whether he is educated or not, wheth-
CT he is learned or not; / don't care
how ignorant he may be or how low
he may stand; I don't care II he be
ever so poor; the man wlO constantly
shows that he is constantly giving
himself up for other people. that man
IS at heart and in reality one Of
natures gentlemen and this is the
way in which he shows it
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
81
10 THE SOCIAL GA
MIC Q N o "A $ 7 NJ

man, so devoted to his work, and
such a perfect gentleman She en-
phatically declared that he vas a
roaring blur, looked serious and
shirked his work on 70 others. and
treated his family atrOciOusfy' Then
I spoke IN enthusiastic terms OF Mrs.
Stunning's figure, and she assured me
that it was all artificial learned
that the manly looking little Blue
blood boy was capable OF mean tricks.
that most handsome men we're Wei
Gus, that pretty girls were invariably
made up, and that my bosom friend
did not do me q favor because she
liked me, but because she had some
axe 70 grind.
I suppose these same people 90
around telling children there are nc
fairies, and old people that the Bible
on which their faith is pinned is moth
ing but an ordinary book suppose
they tell trusting wives that their nus
bands are not always upright, and
fond mothers that their children are
far from angels. I suppose they stick
their noses into every ones business
and make every one uncomfortable
Why, yOu know one Of these cranks
that I called upon this afternoon went
so far as 70 tell me that 1 was not
what I seemed. She said she knew
1 was not naturally cheerful, but
adopted that manner because I knew
the world did not care for a melan-
choly person. and that she had also
a suspicion that I had a nasty temper
under my sweet smile. The old cat.H
And what did you say 70 al these
dissgreeabIe peOple?" asked the girls
mother.
well, I told them that when fgnor-
ance was bliss twas folly TO be wise
and that I hoped I should always re
main in ignorance Of the shortcomings
Of my friends and relatives. and that
was not in sympathy with people
who were always trying TO undermine
anOther's air castle"
The girls mother smiled And then
you wondered because some sharp
tOngued person told you that you had
a nasty temper under your sweet
smile"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
IS I z#EI zzzz

wife took upon herself only those
duties which she had before marriage
and insisted on having servants 10 DO
the rest Of the work. He would rise
up in his wrath if his wife said, Here.
take care Of the baby this evening. I've
been working hard all day and now
mean to so out and enjoy myself He
would say his wife was extremely sell
fish If she took no interest in him
aside from his earning money to feed
and clOthe her. And still there. are
few husbands who manifest much in
terest in their wives except 70 de-
mand that the house be kept in decent
order and that the cooking be OF the
best
If it is hard for a man to adjust
himself to the new order Of things;
il it is hard for him to remember
that there is some one 10 think Of be
sides himself: If it is dificult for him
to consider that anOther's pleasure is
to be considered before hist is also
difficult for a woman 70 remember that
she has responsibilities before IN
dreamed Of It is exasperating for
her TO know that she must sit down
and mend when she would like TO
make a call on a jolly unmarried
friend. II is a cross TO her 10 with
draw from some gay party, because
she must be home TO get dinner or TO
greet her lord and master when he
returns from business II is irritating
when she is absorbed in a book to
have to drop It to attend 70 the ice
man or to give orders about taking
out the ashes If there are times
when a man wishes sincerely that he
were not married. there are times
when a woman wishes the same thing
Just as heartily.
"A woman would gladly take upon
herself the responsibilities OF married
life and perform her duties 10 the
best of her ability, il she knew she
we're going to receive appreciation
and comradeship from her husband.
But the average husband acts as IL
his wife had done him an injury in
marrying at al. constantly chafes for
his freedom-as he chooses to call It
and Is wholly unsympathetic and
uncOngenfaL"
You don't know a thing OF what
you're talking" said the young mar
ried woman holly. Ny husband is
just the incest, kindest, most sympa-
thetic-"
Wait until you've been married
three years instead Of three months"
said the unmarried woman cynicaIIy.
as she left her friend suffering With
Indignation
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31

The food which sent the Ohio river
SPRAYING all through the woods in
1873 was about as nigh the one that
Noah encountered as / ever saw" said
an old boatman who quit the river ten
years ago and who spends his leisure
time about the ship store concern OF
his sons in South street in this city.
i was captain Of a steamer that piled
between the upper landings Of the
Ohio and Cairo.
Cairo was the big port where We
always took on stores. II depended on
business as 20 how far up ne went In
the food Of rs We run about as We
pleased
The government had no charts Of
the Ohio then, and IL there had been
any We would have paid no attention
70 them pilOted the Tuscumbia right
over rail fences and country roads in
that food. We hadn't many landings
10 make, for there was no place 10
make fast the head lines.
4 distinctly remember tying I'D the
Tuscumbia one night 10 a big tree that
stood in waste OF water extending as
far as the eye could see. The night
coming on / found we could not make
the port I wanted 70 make and navi-
cation by night was altogether too
risky at that high stage Of the water.
So 1 sent out the mate and deckhands
in the yawl with tow lines which they
made fast 20 a huge tree. which was a
landmark on shore. near Rockport
That was not far from the place
where Lincoln is said 10 have run his
hatbOat All night lOrg the Tuscumbia
tugged at her ropes and chains and I
expected every minute that she
would either break EN- OF pull up the
tree.
Among my passengers were sew
eTal Cumberland Presbyterian preach
ers who were bound down 10 Smithton
10 take a boat 10 Nashville. where
they were going TO attend the General
Assembly Of their denomination. II
looked pretty sQually. and invited the
preachers 20 have a meeting in the
ladies' cabin.
Every body aboard took more or
less interest in the service except the
fellow who ran the bar. had quite
a time OF fl in keeping him quiet He
Se-lQ the preachers aLL were nLeTAeT-
ing with his business for'ard, and that
II didn't stop the prayer meeting he'd
cut the ropes that held up TO the big
tree I soon convinced him that such
an act would be worse than the meet
ing, as in case he carried out his dia-
bolicaI plan everybody would 90 10
praying, and he would probably be in
the lead.
The meeting lasted nearly all night
The next morning we cast Of. and by
cutting across fields and through the
woods we made our first landing the
next day. pretty well up on the side OF
z blum. We let down the smoke stacks
Of the Tuscumbia in order TO keep
them from getting tangled in the
branches OF the trees.
Il don't think there was as great a
loss of life in that flood as there has
been in the floods this year, partly ow-
ing 20 the fact that there were not so
many. people But IL was the greatest
food I ever saw while I was in the
business. New York Sun
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
JUST AN INCIDENT IN
LIFE OF A PROMOTER

Henry WoIlman has a story OF how
he once came near to being a million
aire.
About a yetar ago" said ne, my
office boy brought me a card reading,
Mr.. Joseph Montague" one hundred
and something Broadway When this
Mr.. Montague entered, recognized
a man I had seen in the west He told
me he was about to get up a corpora
ton to utilize the water power Of the
Missouri and Kansas rivers at Kansas
City. He had clTeady agreed upon
contracts with all the pork packers
and other utilizers of power in Kansas
City, according to his story A large
quantity Of blue prints and other for
midabIe looking things he carried
under his arm. There was going TO
be three million dollars clear profit in
the transaction, he asserted, when he
told me he had decided to make me
counsel Of the company, and would
give me a million dollars for my ser
5ices. I could not quite see Why he
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
Lovs,s Vows

would not hear the t-uth-ah. nol Re-
peat
That thou Wit love me tan TIE stsTs
grow cold1
I bad Tar rather that be not told
Inc measured length o. Loves forever
Cheat
NY heart with vows. stm glowing ana
unWorn.
That lovers through an centuries have
While they knelt prayerfuI 1T their ladies'
feet.
I would not hear the truth, Though Tine
be 6eet.
Ten me our days shan IiHger in Loves
thraul
know that flowers fade and planets
Pour me the lotus wire q Loves deoeII
Take oath forever With the golden
lie
Ven Truth. the GOrgOni Time enough
20 die
Ehen We shan ind such falsehood 10
more sweet
Smart Set
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
q .

cellar. 70 grow Ike a potato sprout
It's good thing 70 reverse the proc
ess for q while.
Statistics show that ten men desert
their families TO one woman; and yet
women are blamed for race suicide
The new woman has got so she
carries a latchkey, but she hasn't yet
reached the point where II is neces-
sary TO take the keyhOle along With
her in order 70 ind i when she gets
home
Women make an the trouble men
have in life-and make il worth the
trouble
Il is only after a woman has learned
to meet men without considering them
in the light OF matrimonial possibfli-
ties that she really knows how tc
enjoy their society.-lIinnie J. Reg
n0lds IL New Eork Tines.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31

should have two million and 1 only
one, but he finally persuaded me that
I ought to be satisfied with the devils
ion, and I agreed to take the million
dollars
His face lighted up with satisfac-
ton. Suddenly it changed, and he
said: Something awful happened TO
me last night; a burglar broke into
my room and stole my trousers with
all my ready cash, and although it is
nearly noon, I haven't had breakfast
yet
Naturally I said. Mr.. Montague, #
is necessary for the success Of our
great enterprise that you should keep
in good physical condition; here's a
half dollar; get your breakfast
Montague departed, and that is the
last 1 ever saw Of my half. dollar or
my miIliOn-doIlar fee. This is no joke.
1t actually happened, and something
like 1t is happening every hour in New
York. New York Times.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31

Ihe girl who was generally cheer
.ul came in from an afternoon Of calls
With a long face Nov what's the
natter with you?" asked her mother.
Wen, this has been an afternoon
Il ideal smashers- Didn't know there
we're 50 many busybOdies TO spoil
5ne's faith until to-day. I haven't an
deal left All my little balloons have
zone plOpping, plOpping, down to
Earth I have learned th@t there are
40 heights, and that what IMAGINED
we're heights are simply clouds There
s nothing lovely under the sun;
sTery thing and every one is smirch-
I'd.
Where have you been asked her
mother.
Wei, first I went to Mrs. Liter
lry's. / said didn't know when / en-
IOyed a lecture as I did Mr.. Readers
The other night, and Mrs. Literary
fairly fell over herself to tell me that
most OF the lecture was stolen and
hat she had read the greater part
Il IL in EmersOn's essays. You know
[ don't know a thing about EmersOn's
essays, so / thought she might be
right, therefore skipped at once to
light opera, with which I fattered
myself i was well acquainted. I
said there was some fascinating.
catchy music in the latest comic
opera favOrite, and Mrs. Theatergoer.
who also was calling on Mrs. Liter
AIRY, shifted and remarked that the
music in that opera was as ancient
as the hills, Just old stun made over
Then I switched back TO literature
again and ventured that the novel OF
he day was a mighty interesting
0OOk, and Mrs. Literary squelched ne
with The plot OF that book has been
used hundreds Of times It's the
same old thing. dressed a little differ
entity. that's all And that's the way
L went all the afternoon
I dropped in to see Mabel next.
You know she makes no pretense Of
knowing anything about books, music
0r art / thought l should find solace
there, but she displayed a disagree
able knowledge Of people. I mention
ed that Mr.. Blank was an admirable
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
J Sorne Reflections
Bochefer Girl.

It is fortunate for men that women
have no sense OF humOr.
Men are the spice Of life, but q
steady diet Of spice is undesirable.
One unfortunate difference between
men and women has been brought TO
light By the cultivation Of Eomen's
brains. A man Of brains can fali IN
love with his mental inferior and stay
50; a woman can't
Money you earn yourself may come
hard, but it's awfully nice not 70 have
20 ask anybody for It at the end Of
the week
II women would swear a little more
they wouldn't CRY SO much
Since the beginning Of tine wo-
mans affections have been kept IN a
.hothouse TO make them Just as
large and tender as possible; her
judgment has been c0nfned 70 TIE
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
- 81 - -. %.

Auctions have a history All their
own. and one Of the old-time methods
of getting a crowd was 10 ring a big
brass bell IN front OF the mart Lewis
Manar. o. 500 Allen Avenue. St Louis.
has fn- his possession the first auction
bell ever used IN the Mound City. and
e VII be exhibited AZ the. E1Dosition
next year. The old ben IS zoo years
ed, and was originally the property
81 g. Pierre. one q the first French
settlers 90 the West
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
GOOD OLD CUSTOMS OF
The WEST In DISFAVOR

A brief note in a Russell paper
states that Judge Jim" Reeder, OF the
District court. has informed the mem
bers Of the local bar that they VIII no
longer be allowed to appear in court
in their shirt sleeves, according to the
Kansas City Journal Probably Judge
Reeder is not TO blame for this He
seems to be-simply the helpless nstru-
ment Of that effete civilization Of the
East which is Overwhelming the print
tive democracy Of the bOundless prsi-
ries. But nevertheless this order VIII
sOrely try the souls Of a few remain
Ing members Of the ancient Western
bar who did not consider themselves
equipped for business until coat was
Oh, suspenders down and shirt thrown
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31
80 = MIIitary 80.

A Bengal gentleman Of means very
much wanted his daughters wedding
20 be something OF a military pageant
Being a man Of business. he wrote
this letter 20 the general commanding
the station Sir Deg most respect
fully 10 draw your kind attention, that
Il you would let We know at your
earliest convenience the rate Of charge
for the following, for wedding pur-
poses Three dozen English cavalry,
one military band, three dozen native
(Sikh) cavalry, one military band
(Sfkh). three dozen English infantry"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1903-07-31

over
There are a number Of Minneapolis
women who have made q success as
travelling salesWOmen, but they were
endowed with the ability to make a
success Of anything they undertook
They have shreEd, capable, business
brains, they are not afraid Of work,
and they deserve the large checks
they receive in payment for the equal
y large orders they send IN to their
houses Miss PettibOne, who formerly
made Minneapolis ner home, and who
now represents a corset house, with
headquarters in Chicago, receives q
salary OF about $1,000 a year. Miss
McCue formerly Travelled for Wash
burn. Crosby & Co and was one Of the
few women selling -four. She has re
Gently abandoned breadstuffs for soap.
Among the travelling saleswomen
who are well known 70 buyers are Mrs
Campbell and Mrs. Allen, who sell
baking powder; Miss Louise Ames,
who has a dry goods line; Miss Al
gusta Asher, infants wear; Miss
Heintzman and Miss Annis Burr Por-
ter, mOUsetraps.
Most Of the travelling saleswomen
represent some branch Of wOmen's
wear. The women who sell soap and
-four and salt are not bothered with
large trunks or samples, and they can
make their sales at once if the buyer
is in the humOr. A man can some
times coax him into a purchasing dis
position with a cigar OF a drink. but a
woman has to depend on her wit,
which does not always answer the
same purpose.