The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-05-14
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i HeneafSing: lie COMBS MS nalr Off
ferently every time" Yes. he hasn't
learned his part."-Yale Record.
80 you think you need a wifeT'
yes" well, nothing but marriage
will dispel that illuslonp'-Puck.
The bar to riches: More men would
be rich II money were as hard to spend
as II Is TO earn.-Chicago News.
Wlfe-"I found out something to-day
that promised never TO tell" Hus.
band-"Well, go ahead; I'm listening"
Chicago Daily News.
He-"And now suppose I'll have to
ask your fathers CONSENT" She-'Not
at all, Just ask mamma. She'll take
care Of papa."-Judge.
Take example. Customer (at res.
tauranD-"Can | see the proprietor"
Waiter-"yery sorry. sir. he's just
stepped out TO lunch."-Judge.
Uncle William. az you troubled
about the hereafterT" mo, sub; It's
de wharfo' err ed herein what keeps
me guessin !p--Atlanta Constitution.
" think II Is silly TO pick up PIN"
oh, | don't knowl | know fellow
that makes IS week picking up pins"
Get outm Yes: he works In n bowl
ing alley"
Arthur would marry that girl but
for one thing" Chester-"Arraid to
pop the question:" Arthur-"No.
Afraid TO question the pop."-Town
and Country.
How did your daughter do at the
graduation exerclscsT" "Splendidr'
declared Mrs. Torque; why, she was
the best dressed girl there!" Balti-
more Herald.
BlIhson-'T understand that South
American general has resolved TO sell
his life dearly" Glihson-"Yes; he
wants ten dollars for tile library edi-
tlon."-Judge
Ping-"Some women noyellsts have
great power OF dietlon." PouG-''m
their home life III bet they show stIll
greater power OF contradictionr'-Bal-
timore Herald
yenienest arranged farm cher seen"
Second Darkcy Oats SO. De chicken
house am located In the watahmilynn
patch. Judge
Blonde Bridesmaid-"The ushers
haven't seated your Aunt Marin with
the family" Other Bridesmaid (sister
10 the bride)-"No. she sent only q
pickle fork."-flfe.
The Manager-"R nlly' Well have
real horses. a real brook, real hens and
geese, and real hay The Author
And would you mind having real
actors, too?p-Life
Mother-"Yes, Bobby; any man in
this country can be President" Bobby
-'Goshl what lot OF Holsters there
ARE who seem to prefer working for
two dollars day."-Judge.
SO you want my daughterf' growled
the old man. Can you support n fam
lyf' Whats the matterfn demanded
the sutton. susplclously; are you out
Of work. seattle Sunday Times.
February IA: Mlstress-"so you want
me to read this loye-letter to YOU"
Maid-'If ye PLACE. nam. And I've
brought ye some cottonwood We can
stun in yer ears while We read lt,r--
Punch.
Il tell you that poet Is a genius "A
genlus2 Why his stuff Is the worst |
ever read II know" But why do
you call him a genlusY" Because ho
succeeds in selling it"-Phladelphla
Record. -e' :.
Mrs Witherby lat breakfasp-"Are
you wcllT' Wltherby-"Yes. Why 20
Mrs. Wltherby-"You look changed. I
suppose | notice II more than those
who are with you constantly.
per's Bazaar
She-"After all, what Is the differ
ence between Illusion and delusion 2"
He-"llluslon is the lovely fancles we
have about ourselves: delusion is the
foolish faneies other people have about
themselves. Life.
Jocular Passenger Ito train robber)-
when you say Ill, therer | suppose :
YOU mean you're after raise 2" The
Robber-"Yep, an 1t also means you'd
better watch ont, an be burned quick
about it."--Chicago Daily News.
Cassldy-"Shtop klckln' about yer
hard luck, man! Some mornin' yen
wake up an ind yersel' famous"
Casey-"Falth, on bet ye whin thot
mornm' comes twill be me luck 10
oyerslape meser."-Philadelph Press.
How old is your baby?" asked one
OF the neighbors. We'll" said the
Missouri farmer, rejecting moment,
"he was born the last time we had
them seventeen-yenr locusts. You kin .
figger II up fur ourself"-Chlcago .
Tribune.
Siimson-"l hear you have been
lighting that little boy next door, and
that he whipped you. How did that
happen" Willle-"Well. he's going to
give party next week, and was =
afraid II licked him he wouldn't In.
yite me.'--Harper's Bazaar. 5.,. $50
Father Ito the seven-year-oId son be.
side him In the dog-csrt, cutting the
whip sharply through the alrj-"See.
Tommy, how make the horse 20 faster
without striking him AT ALL" Tommv-
Tin an eager tone Of happy dlscoyeryI.,
Papa why don't you spank Us chill.
dren that wayf'-Tit-Blts.