The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-23
PRIVATE JONES'
CHEATING *
BY LEO era NE
Copyright, iaaS, bpT c. Mcclure
Copyright, iaos, by T. {. Mcclure

hoolan until MS mouth got MN inter
serious trouble affairs by rccklessly
slippin' lurid names toward the chief
engineer O. course we men knew e
didn't mean anythink outer the way 10y
the lanGwdge, but the chief engineer
was Il vicious man, an q allowed his
turrible anger to become uncontrolled.
$50 we men laid Jones away in the
free ward o leetle horspital that half
hid itself shylikc behind row O scrng
~ palms. Then we men went of on II
hoot, eight o us. Seven got back to the
ship in time to suil with her. The
eighth man, t WIS left ON the wharf
deserted amid multichude O coolies
Hi WAS that man.
An being as Iii wouldn't shift car
20 fer n livin wage, Iii presented me
self, body an soul, TO recrutin' otli-
Ger Who WIS out after one devil called
Juan Torres This same Juan Torres
was up country some'ps hidin'. an =
didn't have no idcar o bein' ketched;
hence ii needed men, an Ill was man.
Now, on the mornin' afore we
marched away who In all the worl' O
rascals should heave In sight but Jones.
Il had rag about his head an e
wanted to list. Now, Iii had never eX-
pected TO see Jones qgaiv in this WORT
an, bein' pious incliSd Slidn't want to
meet him III the next. Hi always
watched my tcrbacker when e was
about Sam Rawins had tot me o
that, an Sam Kawlins had lost ter
hacker
We'll, they needed men. an Jones
was one, SO e went along 'E tof me
that the doctors ut the leetle horspital
had been very confident that e would
die, but in spite o ii e fooled 'em.
Anyway, up country we goes after
Juan Torres. an the first beastly town
we gets inter down goes Jones' with the
fever. The doctor o the regiment said
e would die certain, but Jones didn't.
IL scrapcd through. s'clp me il e didn't.
Two weeks after 4 began To creep
about the eHmp mule kicks him reg
inr smasher in the side, an away Ia the
'rrtle horspilal they carries him to
mend up.
Eli didn't see Jones no more for near
a half year, neither did Hi see Juan
Torres. one day when we thought we
had EN- spotted ut last inter camp e
walks, smilin' grlmly L goes 10 the
colonel an says, Urn show We Just
where they are, says e An In ten
minutes out we marches, Jones leadin'
the way.
How have ye been?' asks the colo
mel, leegin' 1t 'longsidc O Jones.
livery Well says Jones back 10 him.
pleasantlike. Hi amt been outer the
horspitnl more II ten days
"'Gunsr cries the colonel Did ii
take 'em all that time To patch up
three broken RIBS
NO explains Jones. They fixed
up them ribs in six weeks, but after Iii
got discharged from that spell Iii went
inter town on n leetlc Smootch arounS,
We know, an some William knlfcs me.
In fact, e knitted me two or three times
afore e was satisfied with his contract,
an SO they bustlcs me back to the lee
tie horsptal without any great loss o.
time. That We're IL four month job but
they did II. an nary II grumble oh,
this gettin' well is my long suit, says
Jones, proud like. What troubles me
most says Jones solcmnly, IS that
maybe when the blow comes again
liPll be too far up country an won't
reach the horspltol IN time, but III
hopes not
Why you must like bein' sick says
the colonel, s'prised.
1t amt the bein' sick says Jones:
that's nasty. But the soup my. the
soup! Delicious" says Jones, smackln'
his lips s If e could taste II. live
been in forty-two hospitals In my
time an have been discharged cured
nigh on to sixty seven times, so HI
know
Sixty seven times echoed the colo
mel.
Return visits explained Jones
quickly. But Iii don't despair o bet
term that record, cause Hi knows my
vitality an what HI can stand
ION we men went silently. The re-
ports II tell ye how we cornered them
rats in the center o thick forest, but
the reports won't tell ye how one Jones
carried fire an sword into the habita-
ton o Juan Torres.
1T stood in a clearln'. Jones beat us
to the inclosure by good twenty feet,
an Jones was first to show his leg over
the top. Some native Teller punched
bayonet through the calf o. II, but that
native Teller troubled no other man.
Jones fought like demon, an we lost
him In the smoke o battle.
Late in the day, when the struggle
had ceased an the smell o rank pow
der was beginnln' to sieve away
through the forest, we started to hunt
up our men. Wa found Jones lynn
acrost "A pile o severely used natives
over again a secluded portion o the
stockade. There he had cornered six
desperate men, an the sight o. his
handiwOrk was exceedin' fair to look
upon. We carried Jones tenderly away.
The doc, e looked at him, an, says doc
softly, les dead, poor feller,' an there
were tears In more eyes than one.
But that night man came racin'
inter the coloners hut an bawls out.
T. amt deadr
Who amt deadP yells the colonel
'JOnesn cries the man. ''E's come
to life againv
"Down to the surgeons hut rushes
the colonel, all excited an puzzled. Doc
meets him at the door an cautions him
to be quiet
"'Es kinder wild in his head says
the doctor, AN he's maxim all sorts o
crazy requests
what does e want?' asks the colo
mel.
les mumblin' all the time about
goin' beck to the leetle horspltal,' says
the doc.
les hero cries the colonel. AN
20 shall go
Why, man. says the other, 'e's got
three bola wounds, shot twice through
the body an has been cleuted acrost
the head. Il can't possibly live till
nornin''
But Jones heerd him say 1t, an he
calls out weakly, does Jones, It's a