davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

I'VE have to do deal more tinker.
ing with typewriting machines that
are used in private residences than
with those in regular business of.
fees" said an employee of a repair
company. 1.-THE reason is that most
people who rent or own machines for
their own individual use do not take
good care of them. They really ought
to require far less mending, consid.
ering the comparatively small
amount of work done on them, but
they are so shamefully neglected in
the matter of cleaning and oiling that
they are constantly getting out OF
killer. When that happens the own.
er storms around and declares that
he has been given a poor machine,
whereas the trouble is wholly due
to lack of attention. New York
Times.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
A Woman,s Version of the vampir.

- VI lTC
with Apologies to Kipling.)
A fool there was, and she lowered her
pride
Gwen as you and y
To a bunch of conceit in a masculine
hide
eve saw the faults that could not be
denied)
But the fool saw only his manly side
Gwen as you and y.
Oh, the love we laid on our own hearts
grave
With the care Of our head and hand,
Belongs to the man who did not know
(And now we know that he never could
know
And did not understand.
A fool there was, and her best she gave
Gwen you and y
OF noble thoughts, of gay and grave
(And all were accepted as due to the
knave)
But fool would never her folly save
Gwen as you and y.
Oh. the stabs he hid. which the Lord
forbid
Had ever been really planned.
We took from the man who didn't know
why
(And now we know he never knew why)
And did not understand.
The fool was loved while the game was
new
Given as you and y
And when it was played she took her cue
(Plodding along as most of us dol
Trying to keep his faults from view
Gwen as you and -.
And it isn't the ache of the heart, or its
break
That stings like a white-hot brand
1t is the learning to know that she raised
god
And bent her head to kiss the rod
For one who could not understand
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
Rabbi kohl.r MAZDA President.

The late Rabbi Wise of Cincinnati,
has been succeeded in the presidency
of the Hebrew Union College of that
city by Rev. DR.. Kaufman Kohler of
New York. The college prepares stu
dents for the ministry in American
Reform Hebrew congregations and
supplies the west and south with
rabbis. DR.. Kohler is about sixty years
old and graduated from the UNIVERSE
ties of Munich, Berlin and LEIPZIG. In
the same year he came to this country
to supply the leading Detroit Hebrew
congregation. In 1871 he was estab-
lisfed in Chicago and since 1879 has
been rabbi of BETHEL congregation of
New York city. whose temple on Fifth
avenue overlooks the park.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
QUIT AND EAT.
Some Coffee Tales.

Show a woman an easy, comforta-
BILE and healthful way to improve her
complexion and she is naturally In
terested.
Coffee is the one greatest enemy of
fair women. for in the most of cases
it directly affects the stomach pro-
ducing slight, and sometimes great
congestion of the liver and therefore
causing the bile to be absorbed into
the system instead of going its nat
ural way. The result is q sallow,
muddy skin and train of diseases Of
the different organs Of the body
which, in all too many cases, develop
into chronic diseases.
A lady speaking of how coffee af-
fected her says: 81 was very fond of
coffee but while drinking it was I'M
der the care of the doctor most of the
time for liver trouble, and was COM
PEELED to take blue mass great deal
of the time. My complexion was bad
and had pain in my side steadily,
probably in the liver.
When / concluded to quit coffee
and take Postum Food Coffee I had
1t made carefully and from the very
first cup we liked the taste of it bet
ter than any of the old coffee.
"In short time the pain left my
side and my friends began to COM
ment on the change in my complexion
and general looks. l have never seen
anything equal to the good 1 got from
making this change.
"a young lawyer in Philadelphia
named -, whose life was almost a
burden from indigestion and its train
Of evils, quit coffee some months ago
and began on Postum Food Coffee.
He quickly recovered and is now well,
strong and cheerful and naturally
loud in his praises Of Postum.
Another friend, an old gentleman
OF seventy. named -, who for years
suffered-all one could suffer and live,
from dyspepsia. and who sometimes
for weeks could eat no bread or solid
food, only little weak Cruel or milk,
quit coffee upon my recommendation
and took up Postum. He began to get
better at once. Now he can eat rich
pastry OF whatever be ]ikes and 6
perfectly we'll
Names given by Postum Co., Bat
tie Greek, Mich.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
Uncle McQuitty's Return

ed, "and while We are waiting l will
tell you all about this legacy which a
kind benefactor has left me-"
why, this is the first l have heard
of such thing" said the other, with
an establishment that was clearly un-
feigned.
You don't mean it? Well, it's true
enough. I've come into seven thou
sand pounds"
McQuitty had no sooner announced
this welcome intelligence than a sec
ond knock rang through the house.
THAT must be Horace" cried st.
Clair's wife. and she turned pale,
while her eyes dwelt with a singular
expression upon her visitor.
Through the quick-working brain OF
Joshua there flashed this question,
Am l welcome here?" He started to
his feet. 81 have good idea," he
cried. 81 will spring a surprise upon
st. Clair, give him little joyful turn,
as it were. l shall hire behind these
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

lifel
researches, has left him a few thou
sands, that's all. And your wife is his
only relative"
st. Clair turned quite white. Poor
human naturet How he repented his
words anent his wife's most estimable
relative. Why, it was even possible
that Joshua might call during his alb
sence, and if his wife gave him chill
ing reception, why, hest. Clair
would never forgive himself for so
terrible blunder.
1t was at four o'clock that afternoon
that a smart "rat-a-tat-tat" sounded
through a certain house in Hornsey.
Uncle McQuitty," gasped st
Glars wife, as the servant opened the
door.
Yes, 1t was here, sure enough. He
came up the stairway laden with a
portmanteau, two handbags, a travel
ing rug, and an umbrella. He had two
little red twinkling eyes. red hair, red
beard, and a red face
"well. my DEAR" he began. heartily.
I'm here for q week"
St Glars wife endeavored to smile
her appreciation, and the smile fruze
on her bps. Joshua was watching his
niece inteutly.
"order tea. my dear" he cfmmand-
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
Afahans Have Hard Task.

The young ameer of Afghanistan,
reformed, has decreed that hereafter
his subjects shall have but four
wives, and that all who have an ex-
cess of this number must divorce
them. All good Afghanistanders are
now busy picking out the best four
and declare that being Judge at q
baby show is as nothing to 1t.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
Directed All Riqht.

Mrs. Hayseed Visiting New York;
Hi, sonny. can you tell me where
Wall street is?"
CHIMNEY de Chump- Youse
goes right down dis way till youse
comes t. where some mems putting
up a buildin'."
Mrs. Hayseed-"And is that the
street?"
Chimmy-'No'm; OATS de wall"
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
salaries Of German professors.

German professors are not likely to
grow rich. Seven years ago 1s1 drew
salaries of $3.50 or less, 81 went as
high as $500, IA up to $1,000. So to
$500 and 81 to $4,000. There are
fourteen that obtained between that
sum and $4,000. Is as high as $4,000.
z up to $1,000 and above $1,000.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
Can Manufacture saItpetre.

Prof. huffman, German chemist,
has a plan Of saving his country the
SIS 100000 a year it spends on i'm
ported saltpetre. He declared in re-
cent lecture in Munich that saltpetre
can be manufactured from ordinary
air with the aid Of cheap electrical
current, for about one-ffth Of what it
now costs.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
Friendly Repartee.

Ibid you have any luck hunting
yesterday. doctor?" asked the under
taker.
st certainly did," replied the NJ. d.
81 brought down seventeen squirrels"
That's good" said the other. "It's
simply impossible to dodge your pre-
scriptions."
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
FIanneIs in Summer.

The new boarder was not aware of
the ironclad traditions of the boarding
house and was therefore inclined to be
facetious.
Aren't these cakes out OF season In
summer he queried-
u WIS not awars Of ne fac" snap
ped the Iandlady.
aThese are flannel cakes, you
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
Animal Exports Fall OF.

The total value Of the exports Of
animal products in 1902 was about
100000 greater than the like ex-
ports of the previous year, but there
was a decrease of nearly $S.000.000
in the value of cattle exported. This
was due to the sharp demand for
beef cattle in this country,
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
The Boston Bow.

Little Tommy-Can l eat anvGher
piece of pie?
Mamma (witheringly)-I suppose
you can.
Tommy-Well, may /?
Mamma-No, dear, you may not.
Tommy-Darn grammar, anyway
Lippincott's Magazine for March.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

They had been married one month.
The honeymoon could not have been
improved upon. They had success
fully done a charming watering place
and its environs; had climbed its emil
nences, had strolled along its harbor,
which by night is thing of beauty;
had made each other a thousand prom
ises.
They were at breakfast, and st.
Clair's wife, glancing at the shipping
intelligence in the mornings paper,
suddenly uttered tiny cry of delight
ed surprise.
"Well?" said st. Clair. finishing his
coffee.
THE Racer has been sighted of
Beachy Head. AS you know, dear old
Uncle McQuitty is on board"
Now when st. Clair heard that thing
he dropped his cup-purposely. 1t
broke-naturally.
"Confound Uncle McQuitty!" said
he.
1t was the first word of any strength
which he had used in his wife's pres
ence. She flushed, looked at him
steadily, and asked:
What do you mean?"
81 beg your pardon. You know my
antipathy to your queer relative"
HE is dear old man."
"And a formidable FOSSIL"
How dare you insult my uncle?"
she demanded, with flashing eyes.
Now, my dear, l did nothing of the
Sort" was the apologize answer. But
do not like Uncle McQuitty. Remem-
Der, he owes me forty pounds, which
l am sure he will never be able to
return. He bores me. His converse
ton is full of organic remains. He
reeks of ancient sepulchres. A most
unpleasant man.
The other was on the point of tears
as she retorted:
'If you broke your poor wife's heart
you would not care. 1 shall invite I'm
Gle McQuitty to stay with us for
week. He will expect it."
Yes, exactly. He comes for a week,
and stays for a month. / know him.
He shall not come. Understand that,
Agnes, will not have him here" And
st. Clair rose hastily and left the
room to prepare for his return to his
duties in the city, from which he had
been exempted for one month.
He came back to say good-by to
his wife. She had thrown herself into
an easy chair, rested her forehead
upon an arm, and was crying.
"Good-by, Agnes" he said, in low
voice.
The others shoulders heaved with
her sobs.
"You are cruel man." she insisted.
"Good-by, Agnes"
No reply.
st. Clair left the room abruptly,
went down stairs, making a most I'M
necessary noise, banged-to the hall
door, and was gone.
II.
"Well, you are a lucky fellow, upon
my world" &.
st. Clair stared at the friend who
thus addressed him, whom he had met
at lunch four hours later. Thinking
that he at length saw the meaning
conveyed in the words he replied:
That l am married? Yes, am
lucky one, as you say"
Nonsense! That's not luck; that's"
(St. Clair looked unpleasant) that's
blessed predestination of a merciful
providence" The glare died from St.
Glars eyes. What 1 had in mind
was the humping big fortune which
your wife's uncle, Joshua McQuitty,
has so Unexpectedly dropped into"
"Eh, what?" exclaimed the other, ex-
cited.
do you mean to tell me that you
haven't heard about it? Well, it's
true enough. A deceased millionaire,
grateful to McQuitty for his scientific
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Drink DIR. Pepper. tits good for the crav-
ing that comes with spring. tits delight
fully refreshing, healthful and invig-
Grating. At soda fountains SC per glass
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Don't you know that Defiance Starch
besides being absolutely superior to
any other, is put up 16 ounces in pack
age and sells at same price as Bounce
packages of other kinds.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Take care of your friends and your
enemies will take care of themselves.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Storelzeepers report that the extra
quantity, together with the superior
quality, of Defiance Starch makes il
next to impossible to sell any other
brand
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
sENsIBLE HoUsEKEEPERs

Hope and hustle enable man to
gain his ends
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
TWO SIGNALS.

There are
tw o serious
S / G n ais of
Kidney ills.
The first sig
n al CO m Q s
from the back
with numer-
GUS aches and
pains.
T h 9 second
signal comes
in the Kid
ney s e CT e
tions. The
urine is thin
-A -
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

lam sure Pisos Cure for Consumption saved
my life three years ago.-Mrs- THos- ROBBINS
Maple Street. Norwich. n. Y, Feb. II. 1900.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Consistency in yourself is synony-
nous with obstinacy in your neighbor.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

JUNE TINT BUTTER COLOF
makes top of the market butter.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

If we all followed the Golden Rule
the lawyers would >tarve to death.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Too much pie is apt to make a man
more crusty than pious.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Poverty keeps many man from
making a fool of himself.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

will have Defiance Starch. not alone
because they get one-tniyd more for
the same moneys but also 6ecanse Of
superior quality
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Look for this Trade Mark: 'sThe Klean, Kool
Kitchen Kind" The stoves without smoke,
Ashes or heat. Make comfortable cooking.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Happiness is measured out by the
pint misery by the bushel-
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Etc permanently ats or nervousness after
I'll first days use OF Dr. Knes Great Nerve Restor
e. Send for FREE %. 90 trial bottle and treatise.
De R h KLINE Ltd. ISL Arch Street. Philadelphia, Pa
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

A writer without ambition is almost
as bad as a poet with an idea
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

A man who lives beyond his income
is apt to live beneath his opportunities.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
GOOD HOUsEKEEPERs

Our own troubles are always the
worst in the world.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

When man has sore feet it is hard
for him to stand on his dignity.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16
immigration Troubles London.

The question Of alien immigration IS
now far more serious to London than
it ever was in California
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

"How are we. my boy?" cried the
scientist. "GIad to see me, eh?"
curtains-yes, yes, why not? When
he comes in you will talk about me;
say that you are expecting an imme-
date call-ha, hal That will be very
funny. l will creep out, get behind
him, and-here he comes. Mind, Ag-
mes, not world"
Uncle McQuitty concealed himself in
the nick of time. st. Clair entered.
"Hullo, my pet, you are not looking
WELL" said he to his wife, whose men,
tai perturbation may be imagined.
Then, as a pang of remorse touched
him, he added, 81 was rather a brute
this morning, Agnes, wasn't II"
In absolute terror lest he should
again refer to subject which was so
distasteful to him, his wife exclaimed,
quickly:
mo, no, no! II have had a head
ache to-day, that's ALL"
Heard from Uncle Joe?" st. Clair
remarked, with nonchalance admirably
assumed.
I'LL am expecting him-very
soon."
mot bad old fellow" continued
the other, patronizingly. Ct suppose
he leads easily in his particular line of
science? No doubt of it, of course
An indefatigable worker, a man of
infinite research and quite original in
some of his views. Depend upon it,
the world will hear more of him yet
Don't you think so?"
But his wife at that moment ap-
peared to be incapable of thought Her
wide open eyes were fixed upon her
husband with an indescribable expires.
sion.
"Now, l for one should not be sur
prised if he eventually takes a fore
most place among the great scientists
OF the century. And he'll deserve it.
He is a good fellow. If he chooses
see no reason why he should not make
a longstay with us. He"
"Oh, come, come; here am blush.
ing like a schoolgirl" cried a hearty
voice; and Joshua McQuitty, stepping
from his hiding place, advanced with
extended hands to st. Clair, who fell
back with an exclamation of bewilder.
ment and such look of surprise that
Uncle McQuitty burst into a roar of
merriment. How are We, my boy?"
cried the scientist. GLAD to see me,
Ell? I've come to stay a month"
Now, will never believe" said st.
Glars wife to her husband when
their visitor had retired for the night,
81 will never believe but that you
knew he was behind the curtains. You
must have"
And I tell you, my dear, that I
did not dream of such a thing. 1 was
never more dumbfounded in my rfe .
Then l am altogether at loss to
account for so abrupt change in your
attitude toward my uncle. This morn
| ing you called him dreadful names;
this evening you fattered him to the
Skies
"Ah, my DEAR" said st. Clair, 81
was a brute this morning; this even
ing was anxious to atone. Put it that
way"
Human nature, again. Yet there is
an old saying which runs, Put your
self in his place. Journal.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

When a man NEEDLES with. politics
he must either put up or shut.up.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

With some people falling in love is
largely a matter of habit.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Stops the cough anu
Works on the Cold
Laxative Bror-o Quinine Tablets Price sc.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Use the best. That's why they buy Red
Gross Ball Blue. At leading grocers, cents
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

DON'T SPOIL YOUR CLOTHES.
Use Red Cross Ball Blue and keep them
white as snow. All grocers. sc. package.
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

Now, will never believe" said st.
Glars wife to her husband when
their visitor had retired for the night,
81 will never believe but that you
knew he was behind the curtains. You
must have"
Meade County news. [volume] (Meade, Kan.) 1900-1918, 1903-04-16

DO BETTER IN hANSAS.-An Alien
county man who heard the smooth talk
that is put up regarding the ease with
which one can make money on a Cali
foInia orange farm, went out there
with view to locating. He came
back. He says a man can do better
raising apples in Kansas than oranges
in California.
KANsAN IN CHARGE.-W. S. Belden,
Brown county man, has been given
complete charge of all the weather
bureau stations in Mississippi with
headquarters at Viclssburg.
GAS AT EUREKA.-A good flow of gas
was found at a depth of 400 feet This
promises to be the strongest flow ever
found in Greenwood county. 1t is
probable that the derrick will be re-
moved and the gas from the present
we'll used for power to sink more holes
The local gas company expects to sink
several deep wells this summer.
Ex-Goy. ST. JoHN.-Eesidents of
Versailles, Mo-, where John Peter ST.
John is engaged in the real estate bust
ness say he has cleaned up something
like $50, 900 in the last two years.
WANTED IN KANsAs.-Governor Fer
guson, of Oklahoma, has honored re-
QUESTION papers for the return of b. A.
Wilson and Mrs. Newsome, who are
charred with having secured about
s.. 900 illegally from the county treas
urer of Rawlins county, kas They
are both being held at Oklahoma City.
They at once commenced habeas corpus
proceedings
A BUST OF McKrsLEY.-A Garnet
banker has bust of President McSip
ley made out of mutilated currency.
It represents thousands Of dollars
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1903-10-31
A Grade for Macaronj.

The grain commission of the New
York Produce Exchange has decided
to establish three grades Of macaroni
wheat. This will put dealings in this
new agricultural product for this
country on a financial basis. A year
or two ago the United States consular
agents in the south Of France report
ed that there was a market there for
macaroni wheat and recommended to
the agricultural department at Wash
ington that the raising of this wheat
be encouraged in the United States
II had previously been cultivated in
the northwest, but the department OF
agriculture secured seed wheat from
Europe and it Is estimated that this
year 10. SOC. 900 bushels were raised
Some of this has already been mar
keted in France, the trading for ex-
port being on the basis of the Min.
neapOlis wheat gradings. But macar.
oni wheat being specified in the con.
tracts, at the request of the depart.
ment of agriculture, the grain com
mittee decided to establish three
grades OF the wheat. No. l macaroni
Nc. 2 macarOni and rejected macaroni