The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-03-15

SoPPSts AhO"S 10 . pl0ny weight now
MANY guns each ambassadure carries
an its well It's so FIR cudden't tell We
how horrible il wud be if tn ambassa-
dure firm Rooshya got TO TIL vittles
befure tn ambassadure firm Eng
land. Las year be mistake the wife
iv tn Turkish ambassadure enthered
tn room out iy her turn They were
rUt out be tn waither but not in time
to prevint tn allied powers firm bonn
hardin ConstantinoplA.
DINNER AT THE WHITE HOUSE.
80 it is at dinner In tn OF days
befure we was a wurru1d power fvry-
body come up in bunch an set down
in hurry. 1t was: Pass tn butther,'
Let me give ye a chunk iv tn dark
meat 'Lo Hing Fang. can't 1 help We
to tn part that wint over tn fence
| las !? III thank We, ma'am. FIR another
cup iv tay,' Won't We thry bit iv this
leg?' No. thanks. I've quite a suffi-
| cheney an so on. But now no wan
| talks EXCEPT in his ordher. First, tn
| prisidint, thin tn ambassadure firm
Rooshya, thin all tn wives iv all tn
! ambassadors at wanst, an so ON down
/ tn right. an up tn left. It's no use
| hurlin' plain American food at these
| ambassadures an hopin' it will take.
| Tn las time tn prisidint give a dish
| iv buckwheat cakes to tn British am
| bassadure he rose firm tn table an
| prfpH in rir rim ;sY
inform ye that this is war TIL raysuit
was tn Vinzwalan throuble. No, sir,
no johnny cake FIR these proud souls
In front iv each ambassadure mus be
placed tn typical naytional DISH box
iv candles an glass iv sulphuric acid
FIR tn Rooshyan, a veal an ham pie
an a small underground loaf iv En-
glish bread FIR tn Englishman, two
live chickens an a sharks fin FIR tn
Chinnyman, a mud pie FIR tn Patty
gonyan. an so on. /
"All this takes money Hinnissy, an
where does it come firm? Out iv my
pocket an ye'er's, me boy. It's you an i
me that's payin' FIR this here ORIENTAL
splindhor. I'm with tn a-ad that got ,
up in Congress tn other day an give it
to him good. Fellow Numbers he
says. TIL time has come whin we mus
decide whether this nation founded be
Wash nton, Lincoln an U. S. Grant
shall go on as it was or some other /
way which 1 blush TO repeat. Gintle-
men, he says, in tn White House
+bara &c n man urbo ~ 1x-a DoYnirata him
victhry will perch-excuse me, name
there is a man in tn White House who
is rapidly turnin' this country into an
ORIENTAL dispotism, he says. TIL
dhreams iv Zum Zallam, tn Persian
prince, could not akel tn splindhor iv
rear toward tn monymint to tn match
less Wash'nton. Here he lives in a
state Nv luxury that battles description
although I must say tn architecture is
rocky Where ar-re our Traditions?
Where tn Jeffersonyan simplicity iv tn
arly days iv tn raypubIic? / hold in
me hand a docymint that must appal
ivry lover iv his country. 1t is an ex-
pinse account firm tn White House.
I will not r-read tn sickenin' details,
but I will recite a few iv tn monsthrous
items. Gas fixtures, eight dollars!
Clanin' an repairin' house afther the
rayciption to Congress, thirty dollars!
Soap, eighteen doIlarsi Soap eighteen
dollars. Need say more? Need go
On? Gentlemen, / see tn las bulwark
a; / L
cratic governmint an tumblin' on its
devoted head. I see all this vast edifce
DR. fabric iv our nations pride disap-
pear as at tn touch iv wizards hand.
AS in a dhream, 1 behold wan be wan
III monymints to tn heroes iv tn past
,rumblin' into dust an in their place
Use tn pomp iv kings an tn hoarse
,ries iv clangin' retinooes. Gintlemen.
n dice is cast. TIL doom iv dimmoc-
'acy is writ in thin three wurruds:
Soap, eighteen dollars! Soap, eighteen
iollars Eighteen dollars f'r soap, Ere
mother ides-what dye say, boy?
illyphone firm tn White House? What
ime dye say. Eight o'clock? Tell
.Iisther Corteloo I'll be there at quar-
her past five AS 1 was sayin', gintle-
men, tn doom iv tn oil ordher is seal
d. regret it but praps tbs FIR tn best s.
We have become a gr-rea wurruld b
.ower an nawthin' is too good FIR US. =
f tn chief executive impulsively wants =
o mop himsilf ivry day let US charge
as fault iv tn heart rather thin
h head It i'll becomes US as nation
o intercept our chief magistrate at
h. threshold ~ tn bath room an with =
feigned sincerity bid him go thus fur
n no further. L move we give Linn
hat he wants. 1 will now ask tn at
Intion Nv tn house TO tn bill appro-
riatin' ninety-three millyon dollars to-
ard widenin', deepenin', enlargin', ir-