Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-07-29
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is tnlS the cracked wheat, Jane
II dun know. mum. I amt looked at
1t or fetched it; an If it's cracked It
wuz cracked afore come ere."--New
York Observer.
Children" said the teacher, what
lesson do we learn from the life of
Washington" THAT it is better to be
the Father of Ills Country than the
father of snub-nosed boy"
Doctor" said the young student, "is
scarlet fever very contagious?" "Not
very, my boy. But you can increase
your fee by giving medicine to every
one in the family where 1t occurs"
Borem stopping acquaintance)-I
say, old man, let NE give you point.
er. Il Knowem Q,reaking away
Don't want tho place to keep dog
don't like dogs. anyway.-Chicago
News.
Larry-Phwas thor liver inything my
more wonderful thon tn camel going
tro TIL eye nv TIL nadle? Denny-Yis.
Owe sane ME 200-pound ould woman
go tro me visit pocket, bedad!-Chicago
| News.
Count Switzer-Waiter, can't eat
that chicken. Where did you get tat
rummage sale? Waiter-No, sab. We
had dat chicken in stock long befo'
rummage sales war ever invented
Judge.
Jimmy-Does your mother tell your
father when you do something bad7
Johnny-Yes; but it isn't to please him;
it's only because there's no one else
around to tell 1t to.-Boston Tran
script.
Pat Gust landed, and seeing street
surveyors at work)-I say, Moike.
| phwat be thin men doin'? Mike-Oi
dunno, Pat; but Oh guess they do DO
layin' wires fer tn wireless telegraph.
Judge.
"Now, Johnny" said the teacher, who
had been describing n warship to the
class, how is the deck divided?" "A
deck is divided" replied the bright boy,
into spades hearts, diamonds, and
clubs" philadelphia Press.
Belated kindness: MIR. Smith lin
street car)-AIadam, take my seat
Mrs. Jones (who Inns been standing If
teen minutesJ-No, thanks. get on at
the next corner. Mr.. Smith-That's all
right. So do I.-Chlcago Journal,
"Our honeymoon has been perfect.
hasn't 1t. dear?" Yes. Clarence"
"And you have nothing to regret7"
mot exactly. dear. Only was just
thinking that it wouldn't be novelty
next time"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Hint for the housewife: To make
an automobile salad-Take pneuma-
tic tire. squeeze out the wind, wipe
dry, run 1t through the meat-chopper,
mix with crushed stone, cover with q
dressing oil of gasoline, sand, and
train-oil, and garnish with accident
4 policies.-Judge.
Proved: Mother-"The whipping you
had yesterday does not seem to have
improved you. Your behavior has
been even worse to-day" While
That's what wanted to prove. You
said i was: MS bad Us \ possibly could
Sbe yesterday: knew sou were
wrong Tit Bits.
4 n. ysician--rrhe truth can no longer
be hidden madam. am obliged to
tell you that your little son is-er-
weak minded; that is-well, 1t must
be said-he is an IDIOT Mrs. Highup
u How fortunate 1t is that we are
rich! No one will ever notice it,
New York Weekly.
Asks pardon: Warden--"He was tho
coolest and most thoughtful convict
4 that ever broke jail" Jenkins-"That
sol" Warden-"fes. Healeft behind
him note to the governor OF the
state beginning: ! hope you VIII par:
don me TOT tne ilpefty I'm taking.
-Philadeiphia PUBIC Ledger.
. Thrilling moments: Johnnie" called
the mother. II want you to go to the
store for me-" "Wait a second maw."
replied the youth. who was absorbed
in five-cent volume; "Pepperhole Pete
has thirty-seven Injuns to Kill, an It'll
only take him about two minutes. -
Columbus (ohlo) State Journal
The dentist was kind: did the dem
fist hurt you much, Elsie?" asked her
mother. solicitiously. Yes, mamma"
replied the small girl; .but he was
very nice every time he did" Very
nice? How do you mean?' why. he
always said 'Ouchv before could
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
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