The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1903-02-17
COUNTY, KENTUCKY TUESDAY, FEBRUARY ~ 1903
High Sauciety.
[From The CO zette !

There is great agitation in the
upper atmosphere of sOcialdOn, and
those that inhabit the higher regions
are having lace~ruffied troubles and
delicately perfumed disturbances.
1t is all about certain rules and regu-
lations that were laid down for the
! guidance and direction of the BOur-
bon Cotillion Club recently organ
lied. The first cotillion is to be
given next Friday night, and it
makes ordinary mortals sad to con-
template that before the first sigh is
breathed in the first voIuptuous
waltz, or the first aesthetic strain of
music ripples along the lavender
tinted ballroom floor, the barometer
goes up, the thermometer goes down
and bitter, biting, blistering biz
card comes to blast the blooms that
were to beautify the ball. Those
who have been friends for years now
meet as strangers, and whereas they
formerly greeted each other with ex-
clamations of joy and eager interro-
gationsSas to each others health and
happiness, they now pass with a
stony stare, or mayhap a grunt of
disgust. Cousins do not speak to
their cousins, even though they are
not once removed, and the Mas of
one do not speak to the Pas of the
other. With desire that the great
common people should become ac-
quainted with the causes that con-
spire to perturb those who walk
abroad only when the sky is clear
andIthe fields verdant, THE GAZETTE
sent its society reporter out upon a
tour of investigation. Finally, one
of the younger members was cor
rallied and caught, and in response
to the pumping process, said:
I'VE have had a WEAKLY all-wound
wumpus in our Club, doncher
know?" explained he of the high col
lar and mathematically parted hair.
'sThe hOrwid barber put too much
bay wum on my face, this mownen,
and made me light-headed, but can
tell you just how the WOW came
about A long time ago the nice So
ciety fellahs here in town got up
dancing club called the ''Jolly Bach
elors." It was veal nice club and
when we gave dance the hall was
decowated with delicate colOred wib-
bons and the band played nothing
but soft pieces. / wemember one
time we told Mr.. Henry Saxton he
was getting so fat he made the hall
Oppressive and he had to weduce
himself. Just when everything was
wunning as smooth as a new shirt
| front, certain ladies came to us and
asked us to disband our club and
join one they were getting up called
| the Bourbon Cotillion.' Well, they
were weally nice ladies and leaders
in society, SO we agweCd to do as they
wished us TO. Each of us fellahs had
to pay twenty-five dollars to get in.
| They got up some pwinted wules
they called bylaws, but which /
think were weally amendments to
the Ten Commandments. One Of
these bylaws said that No young
fellah living in Bourbon county could
attend our hops, if he did not belong
to the club. Another said if a mem
Der wanted fweind from a distance
to attend, he would have to hand the
fwiend's name and two dollars and d
half to a secret committee for APP
pwoval.
"Those wules were awfully
gwievOus but we stood em for long
time. After while gwate cwouds
of young ladies got to coming here to
attend our dances. Some of the
owiginatOrs of the club bwought
them in and then told us fellahs we
must WEAKLY provide escorts for
them. That view WASH veWy
wOsy. The home girls had been Civ
ing us fellahs pink teas, lunches and
cards to remind us that they liked to
dance, and here we were tied to the
visitors. 1t was perfectly wedicu-
lOus, but also eXaspewating. Some
of us had the veWy dear west of
fwiends among the home girls, and
some of them had the vewv deawest
of fweiends among us fellahs. They
cWied, and we said some WEAKLY
wough words. I'm sure they would
not have approved of our expwes-
sions of displeasure.
FINALLY, one of the fellahs pwo-
posed to have meeting and change
the wules. Fifteen agweed and we
called meeting. Some of the
Owiginators heard of it and came
down on us like fuzzy. They said it
was their club! How wediculous
One of the felIahs told them he
didn't know that it was theirs any
more than ours, and they told him
he was absurd. Weally [ couldn t
pick up all the words pwitched out
they were so vewy warm. One fell
lab stood up like a soldier that wears
bwass- buttons and yellow leggings.
1t was fwightful for awhile, eSpeci-
ally when one of the ladies told the
fellah he could take his 'measly lit
tie twenty-five dollars and co. He
weplied, you can't give it to me any
too quick The secWetary threaten
ed to wesign and then the wumpus
spwead like fuzzy. We fellahs got
together and decided to we-organize
the Jolly Bachelors. Then some of
the members twied to get up We
Cancellation, but the fellahs won't
be weconciliated. It's a gwievous
WOW, but how else could we fix the
wules so we could wepay the home
girls for their pink teas?"
Then he began to sneeze, for dur
ing the conversation he had been
standing in front of big imported
Swiss cheese, and the draft through