The Minneapolis journal., 1903-12-18


"Home, Sweet. Home So That You
Do Not Recognize 1t Without Looking
on the Program-An Unfortunate In-5
cldent Connected With the Choir in
the Old Church at Stony Lonesome
Peewee Jackson's Vicious Deed.
The Chicago News tells of a vocalist
who can sing Home Sweet Home so
marvelously that you cannot tell what
it is without looking on the program.
This story vividly recalled the soprano
in our choir back in Stony Lonesome.
She used to be a pretty swell singer until
she went to Boston and took three years
of vocal lessons. After that nobody with
out a hymnbook could understand her solo
English unless he was taken aside and it
was explained to him.
She was indeed marvellous singer, and
you ought to have heard her render Dago-
lini's "Stabat Materosa in H. in the orig
inal Italian. Twice the fire department
came out on the run and played on the
church.
Once our music committee had an i'm
ported organist, and when Herr Organ
bach and the soprano got together on the
solo, Peewee Jackson, who was getting
10 cents Sunday for pumping the organ,
was awful mad because they let the air
out of the instrument SO fast that the
pumping made him perspire profusely.
He said he was almost mad enough to
let the air out Of the bellows altogether,
and that he would have done so If they
hadn't threatened to stop, his pay when
ever this catastrophe occurred.
The soprano and the organist had to go
to the church during week days to prac-
tice. The next Sunday during the first
hymn PeeWee reached out from behind
the organ and deposited two empty, beer
hot I,lf II, -of r.,
a chair in the face of the congregation.
When labored with later on; the i'm pro-
priety Of this act, Peewee claimed that
they We're in his way and that he couldn'
pump the organ with "them things" under
foot.
Deacon Belden said he guessed nothing
could be done about it, because the arts-
tic temperament seemed to i1nbibe these
Germanic ideals during its musical edu-
cation abroad. But we noticed that the
organist left before the next Sunday. The
whole affair occasioned something Of a
furore, but it was hushed up.
Octopus Hicks has raised the price of
his almanac to 80 cents. That settles
1t. We shall take our weather out of the
Farmers Almanac for 1879. The weather
that was good enough for, our fathers
ought to be good enough for u.s.
The oriental war cloud has been pushed
away often that even old man Mars
himself has lost faith in the nimbus.
Large sections of Colombia are said to
have but one people to the square mile.
We consider that as far inland as this
we are quite safe; but poor Florida!
Good old Robert Collyer, the robust
octogenarian pastor in New York city,
when asked to give the secret of his
longevity and of his boyish spirits, wrote
out these rules:
First-Lead a natural life.
Second--Eat what you want
Third-Always walk the sunny side Of the
street.
Not such bad set of rules, tho the last
one might be modified a little to read
walk any old side of the street you
want to and take the sunshine with you. "
Senator Allison of Iowa is said to have
expressed an opinion on the presidential
question.
King Edward recently had his naval sec
retary write to a naval officer as follows
| ''His majesty will be glad if you will
have it circulated privately that he con
siders his health as much honored by those
who drink it, in water as by those who
drink it in Wine." - If
| The king, as we'll as the railroad mag
| nate, is wise enough to know that a mar
full Of aniline dye is no more effective
than a man whose loyalty is diluted with
| water. ~
| There will be some ten minute cars or
the KenwOOd line, between $50 and 6:3(
p. m. This is an outrage!
Professor shaler of Harvard says, tha-
| "a 10 f1,z.S,1 41@ -
'loafers' have been~coming into college
| He has refused to continue his lectures il
| the geology course. All this excitement is
| because some Of the young gentlemen
threw eggs, chalk and old shoes at a lady
who was helping on a review of the sub.
ject. If the professor thinks he is gons
to abolish football manners in the class
room he ought to get himself to the retired
list
The Rev. Minot J. Savage says tha
Adam never fell. Then they cleared of
their sidewalks better in Eden than they
do here, or else the races father was very
sure footed @s- .
! "Farmer Benz Of the Austin Transcrip
is not dead, as rumored Instead of that
he IS full Of sausage meat and hard eide
and is wearing a stout hickory chip on hi
lame shoulder. He says this week in hi
organ: .S
The set Of hogs up to st. Paul and Minneapoi
are commencin' to Civ their periodical Kick oye
the apDortionment in the republican state conven
tion and are tryin' to hav the delegates at larg
from each county cut down so that the tw
big cities can mononolize everything.
Isn't that breezy? Then Ben goes OF
thus:
The present rule is none too big brake to pu
on the schemin, graspin', unrighteous machina
tions of the bloodthirsty gang Of political pirate
and cutthroats up at the capital who own tn
legislature and get most all the Offices and an
pointments and yet are all the time growlin' 70
more bones.
Dear old Farmer Ben! You can Just hea
his Whlskers bristle! And yet he is one O
the incest old fellows ever, with his pocke
full Of nuts and candy for the children an
he always has a smile for the postmistres
when he goes after his mail But when i
comes to politics, b-r-r-r-r then Farme
Ben is mad in a minute. But, bless YOU
he doesn't mean anything. "A. j. r.
MINNESOTA POLITICS