davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-05
HOMES: His Posthurnous Memoirs
Homes H

as knows as much as you does within reach. me and
Miss Betsy says her Mrs Harris, says we, what
you Heeua most Us n SUN aI -, ~ - ,,~
dear little Fido viii be back a-Darkln. ln the sun
light o. your smile, and a-eatn' whites with an mis-
at present missin grace.
Miss TrotwOod nodded her acquescence IN tnis
statement
so nervousy habbergasted by Fidos continued abb
sence from home Considerin the temptations Of lie
i'm great city. that she amt got the strength 10
come herself she says me, says she, Sary, yoI
see the sloOth for me and tell him there amt aoih.n
] don't do him and hsn if he'll restore my darun
Fido TO my arms And So Mr.. Homes. that is why
I have come properly chaperoned You win kindly
observe, by my friend Miss Betsy TrotWood a lady
of irreproachable characteristics and recutudeF
Mr. Homes laughed
The finding of lost dogs madame" said he is
somewhat out of my line
How about the Hound of the Basket wheels? de-
manded Mrs. Camp. If that don't show YOU TO be
the very prime minister of dog catchers Mr. Homes,
then very much mistOOk, and thems the very
words used to Mrs. Harris when she says, as Shs
did say. says she He won't waste time
ing. that Mr.. Shylock Homes Is. says and there
amt no case of downtroddeu humanity that be won't
take up, even if it's only dog
"Them's the precise words" said Miss TrOtwood,
as reported by joe the fat boy of Mr. Homes Office.
The great detective obviously fatered He
had refused dozens of such cases in the past as the
records of his office show beyond an question, but
the sublime confidence i'm his powers of these two
old ladies. representing third. apparently appealed
IT judge. Mrs Camp" said he 'from your Silent
emphasis of the g i'm your participates that you are
zlewit has told much?"
"Ain't he a wonder!' cried Mrs. Camp Hes de
tected me right ohl'
''I win take the case of FidO" said Mr. Homes
compacently and If he has been ground up into
sausages by this time / will restore him 20 Mrsi
Harris
And if he has been ground up into sausagesg"
sObbed Miss Betsy Trotwood.
Homes smiled.
Well Miss Trotwood" said he while all sau-
sages look alike to me, promise that viii send
those into which Fido has evOluted TO you 10 be
handed over TO the lady awtully berelt IN time 10
at her next Sundays breakfast Did Fido nave
any distinguishing features TO dinerentiate him from
other dOgs2'
Miss Trotwood darted an anxious glance at Mrs
Camp who trembed slightly. but Immediately re-
piled:
Yes. Mr.. Homes-threc heads and appetite for
each of emi"
"Ah.-please repeat the description" said Mr.
Homes, DerpleXed
Three hcads-one bull one skye. one dachshund-
and the appetite of man-eatn lion for each pair of
jaws
He should be easy find" said Mr. Homes jot-
ting down a memorandum of the description his
cuff habit Of his of long standing. and Cheerfuuy
accept the COMMISSION"
Here he reached Cor his hat.
wen start out at once. ladies'" he added. And
with that the three passed out of the office.
Since that time Mr. Homes has not been seen by
mortal eyes
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-05

Immediately upon receiving the information
tanned the above statement from Joe, the Office boy,
Camp al her residence on Ihrty-seVenth street Cim-
meria, and later upon Miss Betsy Tr0tWood at her
little cottage at Inferno by the Sea.
Il never heard of no Mr.. Shylock Homes" said
Mrs. Camp. What's his trade?"
An eminent detective who is missing. and was
last seen in your company said the reporter.
Mrs. Camp rose I'm her might.
In my company" she roared, Indignantly. WHO
said that2 never went with no gentleman Of no
wasn't acquainted with. Ne? In his company?
When?'
Last Thursday afternoon" said the reporter.
Mrs. Camp laughed 81 can prove alimony for
Thursday" she said Come out here into the iaun-
dry. she added leading the way and reckoning me
to souow.
The reporter went out as he was babe and before
or more Immediately Numbered shirts, a score or
more of collars and few other articles of personal
that Mrs. Camp at least an Industrious person.
That's what L a-doin Of Thursday after
noon said She uiumphantly
"Then you know nothing of Mrs Harris dog?"
asked the reporter.
Mrs. Harris never had no dog" said Mrs Camp
Tor the very good reason that there wasn't no Mrs.
Harris TO have dog"
Miss Trotwood was a different proposition. but
what she said points TO the same conclusion
81 never knew any Mrs. Harris any Mrs. Camp
or any three-headed dog, nor any Mr. Shylock
Homes. I've never been to town I just live here.
and raise rhuoarb and pmkins and morning glOreS."
sisted the reporter
the Confessions OF Mary Mac Baskertchief " she
replied.
And you never saw Mr. shylock Homes7' asked
the reporter.
who's he?" demanded Miss Betsy Trotwood
Never heard Of him. What's he d0?"
The sincerity Of both ladies was evident No one
could doubt, after seeing them, that they We're
and could not have been mixed up in this affair Stl
the reporter ventured
You know the OF Mrs Harris dog.
Never heard OF Mrs. Harris, her dog. either
as / have already told you, she retOTted. rs there
a Mrs. Harris, and has she a dOg?"
There was no need TO pursue the question fur
Their, and the reporter left 1t evident that Mr.
Homes callers were spurious
Yet the question remained unanswered-What had
become Of the great detective? More than ever was
his disappearance regretted for here was q problem
which his genius would be taxed to solve. Where
he, and who were the old ladies who had imper-
sonated Mrs Camp and the estimable Miss Trot-
wood?
The mystery still unsoved. but it is Interesting
in this connection 20 note the extras Of Friday night
newspapers
"Cerberus died suddenly this morning said they
An autopsy Will be held this afternoon to ascertain
the causes"
The famous canine guardian Of the entrance TO
Hades. after centuries Of service, had indubtably
passed away, and apparently from acute attack
Of Indigestion. The latter Impression, however
corrected later for the autopsy. which conducted
the following morning by Humber OF the most astute
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-05
Lincoln and the MILESTONE.

Concerning the great height of Abraham Lincoln
the following story is told. which is said be
says the Detroit Tribune. When a candidate for the
Illinois legislature and while making personal can
vass Of his district, he one day took dinner with
farmer who also loaned him milestone with which
sharpen his knife Years afterward, when Mr. Lin
coin had become president a soldier came to call on
him at the White At the first glance the chief
executive said;
Yes, / remember you; you used to live on the
Danvie road. i took dinner with you when was
running for the legislature / TecOect that stood
talking the baruyard gate, while 1 sharpened
my jackknife."
''Y-a-a-s" draWled the soldier; you did. But, say,
wherever die you put thar milestone! looked for it
a dozen times, but could find it after the day
you used ii. We lowed how mebby you took it
long with you
No" said Lincoln. looking serious and pushing
away a lot Of documents of state from the desk ln
front of him. NO. put it on top Of the gate post
that high one
Well" exclaimed the visitor. "mebbe you did.
Couldn't nobody else have put il there and none of
us ever thought to look there for it."
The soldier then on his way home, and when
he got there the first thing he did 20 look for the
milestone. And enough there it was. just where
Lincoln had laid fifteen years before. The honest
fellow wrote letter TO the chief magistrate of the
nation, telling him that the milestone had been found
and would never be lost again.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-05

doctors of the Stygian country revealed embedded in
the huge creatures vermifOrm appendix no less an
object than a pair of solid gold link sleeve buttons.
upon which was engraved monogram containing the
two letters So and III" one stands aghast with
horror at the suggestion which inevitably follows such
a discovery Mr.. Homes disappears in company with
two old ladies subsequently shown To De imposters
In search of the alleged lost dog of mythical person.
description of which animal is precisely the descrp-
ton of the ravenOus beast who within twelve hours,
is found dead with the cuff buttons of the missing
man secreted in his vermifOm appendix. The logic
Of the situation points unsWervingly 20 the theory
that Mr.. Homes fell unwttingly into the hands OF
his enemies-enemies who purp0sely laid a trap by
which he should meet a horrible end-that of being
devoured by a beast of than ordinary ferOcity
The conclusion seems TO be that he followed such
clues the fictitious Mrs. Camp and Miss TrotWOOd
had given him. and with unerrng accuracy developed
them until they brought him into the presence of
Cerberus himself by whom he instantly slain and
devoured That he carried with him the instruments
Of vengeance upon the dog himself retrbution OF
a proper sort and a swift enough revenge to please
Homes friends. in so far as IL visited punishment
upon his immediate slayer but what of the two old
ladies' Who they. and how they be pun
ished for their undoubted completely I'm the crime?
That is the question which is now agitatng all
Hades, and &c gives the Gazette great pleasure TO
announce that the firm Of HaWkshaw & lie Coz have
taken it in hand. These gentlemen have offered 20
serve without pay, which is very generous. consider
ing the rivalry to which they were subjected by Mr.
Homes during his lifetime.
Meanwhile we must await the issue with patience
Postscript Messrs. HawkshaT and lie Coz have
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-05
He Wanted to See the Stage.
(New York TribuueJ

lNcW York IribuueJ
He a genuine Rube and had never been 10
the opera He chose Saturday might TO reform.
bought admission as soon as the doors were
OPEN and passed into the lobby He wore a rusty
hat tilted over one eye, stubby chin beard. much
starched collar. long brown Ogerc0at and chew
ing gum Max HirsA, "the silver haired treasurer
Ted Marks calls him, noted the stranger eurlousyr
and then turned 90 other things
The opera had been going on some twenty min
utes and Mr. Hirsh was standing near the door when
He came up the treasured
say he remarked "be YOU the manager
81 Wish 1 Were,' said Mr. Hirsh. thereby making
himself one OF the best of candidates "but 1 can
speak for The manager. What is it2'
wall, ! reckon ] paid good money ter Sit into
this yere place. am, by gosh i want Ter see the
stage Don't Git sight of The stase2'
Certainly you do said Mr.. Hirsh.
Wall 1 bin Wandern' around these col darn
horseshoe halls, aclimbn' mp and down stairs. well
nigh onto an hour, but amt seen no stage yir-
Mr. HiTsh called an usher SHOW this gentleman
how 10 get into the house" said he.
The usher led the visitor through door, wall
amt il simple. though" the latter exclaimed He
looked about the auditorium I'm open. mouIhed
amazement. BY gOlly," he said. -hain.t this place
WhOpper"
happily down 20 his sum chewing
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-05

CDITORs MOTEL is with great regret that the
F. editor of the Posthumous Memoirs of syiock
~ Homes ls compelled Co announce the final eX-
t!nCtiOn OF that genial and talented detective The
first mkng OF The awful fact 90 reach my ears was
from hissOgram over my radiator from Mr. James
Boswell editor of the Gehenna Gazette. asking me ~
j had received the manuscript OF Mr. Homes latest
adventure. His own copy had gone astray, he SAID,
and his inquiries addressed 90 Homes had been ut-
terly ignored. ''If you have received Chapter lO.
kindly radiate 10 back 90 me, since ] am holding the
presses IT, Kissed lIr Boswell. 10 happened that
i. too was becoming anxious ON this score, and even
as AR BosWelrs urgent messages had been ignored.
so Rad mine also gone unanswered. Hence radldted
back Nothing doing al this end. Better look
Homes mp u person Something must have happened
90 him. for be- once told me he'd father write than
eat BOsWel's response 90 this the startling
tale OF woe and vLainy set forth below, which, OF
necessity, makes any further BecOlleCIiOns of the
eminent detective impossible and hence brings 10
close this more or less important contribution 10 Eng
fish letters
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-05
EDITORS PosTscRIPT-

Shocked and Mortified by this awful story or
Homes fate, j have repeatedly tried during the last
tWentyf0ur hours. to radiate stedm-heated message
fashion the connection has been cut off, / have r.
dreadful suspicion that know who the lmpersouat-
ors Of the TWO old ladies were. and have
templatcd suicide i'm order TO reach Cmmera in time
TO institute inquiry To- the whereabouts of Non
sieur lie Cog and Samuel Hawkshaw on that Inflated
Thursday afternoon There is strong evidence iu
Homes stories already published n this series OF his
conflicts with these men 10 establish motive. and
the finding of the Camp and Tr0tWoOdian garments
the banks of the StyX by these WORTHLESS. coupled
with their instant abandonment of the case. strikes
me a highly suspicious circumstance
But how 20 get my suspicious Co Hades2
That is the question which is now asitating my
mind. and SHALL De grateful 90 any reader Of these
papers or friend Of theirs who can help me 90 solve
the problem d. *. B.
Copyright. 1903, by John Kendrick Bangs.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-05
sHTLocK HOMES MISSING!

Last Seen i'm Company OF Two Mysterious Old Ladies
Undertakes 10 Find Lost Dog-An Interview
With His Office B0y-NO Trace of the Eminent
Detective Since Last Thursday Night-F0ul Play
Arouses an Awful Suspicon-Who Are the Guilty
Onese
copyrighted for All Hades by James Boswel)
Gehenna, Apr. LIST. lsO3.-Mr ShylOCk Homes the
eminent detective. is strangely missing and his
friends who have booked i'm vain for him In his aC-
Cusomed hauns since last Thursday night fear that
me has met with foul play To is known that through
ms successful work In uurayeling number of em-
barrassng mysteries of the ages he has aroused the
Jealousy and anmosity of certain distinguished per-
sons Do Hades but yet suspicion attaches SUI
nclently 90 any single individual warrant arrests.
mr. Homes has lately received "a number OF threaten
ing letters all of them anonymous and has repeated
l} been warned by individuals apparently fearful of
oon his profession and go into other line bust
ness. These threats. however. he has treated with
contempt and mas iearlessy gone about his work UNI
ueleifeo by the EXAMINATIONS OF his enemies or the
ioTebodngs of his friends Az the time Of his dis
appearance he was about 90 announce TO the world
not only the authorship of The Junius Letters, and
chain Of evidence I'm his mind leading 10 the eX-
posure OF the man who struck Billie Patterson. and
lne whereabouts or Moses when the Light went out.
III ls NOT believed by Well Informed persons however
anything 20 do with his untimeIy Disappearance In
IaCI very definite suspicion attaches two old la
dies. In whose company he left his office Thursday
AFTERNOON apparently ON the kindly mission of en-
abung them 90 hnd lost dog. These persons ac-
tordlng 20 the statement OF joe Mr. Homes office
boy, somewhat dull-Witted but reliable TAT boy
once or the detective ON Thursday, shortly after
luncheon The names they gave Mrs Sarah
Camp and Miss Betsy TrOtWoOd. Mr. Homes received
them cautiously and inquired their business
My friend Mrs Harris has lost her dog, Mr.,
Homes" began Mrs Camp teHfuly, and KNOWN
as ho" there can't be nothin' lost with gentleman
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-05

discovered upon the left bank Of the River styx the
discarded DISCUSSES OF Mrs Camp and Miss TrotWOOd.
but have decided TO withdraw from any further Dur-
suit of the problem. since there are no marks upon
the DISCUSSES by which their may be Identified
Hence. il is probable that the mystery al TO the
Identity of sherlock Homes murderers wIu never bee
disclosed and that the joint monument Go himself
and Cerberus, 10 be erected over the grave OF the
latter, viii be an that I'm the ages TO will exist
to keep alive the memory of The greatest detective
an fr1a
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-05

cOpyright. 1908. by John EandriaE Bangs.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-02-28

the crop was an entire failure and the
crops elsewhere were variable. OF late
years Michigan has become one of the
largest producers of seed peas, but the
crop there last season was very short.
so that the cost of seed will be greater,
If anything, than in 1902. Some beans,
too, are scarce, the wax varieties par
ticularly. There was only a moderate
crop of reliable seed of some sorts Of
squash, that of the Hubbard being less
than moderate. The price of onion
seed will be about the same, and cab
bage seed will be lower. No grower
should plant corn this year, at least
without first carefully testing it, In
many Of the seedgrowing sections the
crop had not time to mature promptly,
and there will probably be consider
able unfit corn for sale.-Country Gen,
tleman.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-02-28
Faithful Dad.

We happened in home the other
night and over the parlor door saw
the legend worked in letters OF red,
"What is home without a mother"
Across the room was another brief,
God bless our home"
Now, what's the matter with
"God bless our dad?" He gets up
early, lights the fire, 5oils an egg.
grabs his dinner-pail and wipes off
the dew of the dawn with his boots
while many a mother is sleeping. He
makes the weekly hand-out for the
butcher the grocer, the milkman and
baker. and his little pile is badly worn
before he has been home an hour. He
stands off the baiiiff and keeps the
rent paid up.
r. there is a noise during the night
dad Is kicked in the back and MADE
to 20 downstairs to find the burglar
and kill him. Mother darns the socks,
but dad bought the socks in the hrst
Mace and the needles and the yarn
afterward. Mother does up the fruit;
we'll. dad bought it all, and jars and
sugar cost like the mischief.
Dad buys chickens for the SUNDAY
dinner carves them himself and draws
the neck from the ruins after every
one else is served. What is home
| without a mother?' Yes, that is all
right: but what is home without a
father? Ten chances to one it is a
| boarding house, father is under a
sIab and the landlady is the widow.
| Dad. here's to you; you've got your
faults-you may have lots OF EN-
| Int you're all right, and we will miss
YOU when you're gone Stevens
| County Reveille.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-02-28
Value of Ground Grainss

In feeding grain to stock OF any kind,
there is no doubt but what the best re-
suits will come from feeding whole
grain part of the time and ground grain
on alternate days. 1t Is known that
feeders in some sections object to the
feeding Of ground products, but usual
ly because of the supposed expense of
grinding. True, this Is considerable II
one has to pay for grinding, but in a
neighborhood where considerable stock
is kept it will pay farmers to own 8
machine in common, buying one with
a belt attachment SO that an engine
may be used. Usually any man owning
an engine will do the work for twenty
Eve cents an hour. and a hundred bush
els may be ground at small expense. In
the feeding of this ground product, one
must be guided by experience, but mix
lures of corn an oats are generally de
sirable, while to still further vary the
ration, these grains may be fed separ-
ately. This sort of feeding always gives
the best results and at cost compare
lively small-St Paul Dispatch.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-02-28

tiently from her eyes, and, walking
OUT, re-entered her cab.
Il have many consultations aftar
ALL" she said as she ratified home
ward. He does not know how nearly
ne succeeded in winning me. and |
nave escaped family scandal in
marrying out OF my station. senti-
ment is mistake Sir Richard Hum
pnrey is no Adonis, but he is genuine,
and considering how much there is of
MIN, It's saying good deal. Perhaps
1t is all for the best"
And Lady Patricia encouraged a
smile, which although weak at first
gradually broadened out into merri-
ment.
The picture still remains in Lady
Patrlc1a's possession, and since the
artist who painted it has never come
into prominence, it is hidden away
with its secret in my lady's boudoir.
Some day when the world is airing it's
praises of the wonderful artist, Paul
keston, the picture may perchance
see the light. But not until then
New York News.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-02-28
N~@oSSSSSSn
For Sagging Doors.

VI 0d = AAS DOOES
obl In wheel Zone from an old ma
chine will answer) and, after cutting
notch in the bottom Of the door for
the wheel, attach the latter to the door
Dy means Of an iron bar. This bar
should be round and of diameter that
VIII work easily in the hole of the
wheel Have a blacksmith fatten the
roo at either end, twist it to fit the door
frame and make two or three holes in
eacn end, so that 1t may be screwed to
the door as shown. A large fat stone
should be placed close to the door sill
ON which the wheel will rest when the
door Is closed. If the ground over
which the door will swing Is kept level
ana built up to the proper height the
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-02-28
Cruelty to Cows.

Men may regard cattle as mere ma
chimes, but the fact remains that they
are of a sensitive organization, capa-
BILE Of suffering and enjoyment, and
that to a degree too often lost sight
of. The idea that it is just as we'll
for COW, either in point Of comfort
or health, to be tied up six months
with no exercise, is contrary to all
physiological teaching; and that nutri-
tious food, light and exercise are nee
essary to the maintenance of health
and full development. Give cows
chance to go out in the sunlight of the
warm days in the winter and see how
quickly they go and see the real en-
joyment depleted on their expressive
faces Even though the milk flow may
be somewhat lessened, will not what
Is lost in quantity be made up in quail
ity? At any rate, I am sure would
much rather eat dairy products Of
strong, healthy COWS than that of
those weakened and enervated by
close confinement and unnatural food,
such as would be an exclusive diet of
corn meal 1t is not necessary, in or
der to give them a little exercise and
sunlight to range over an extensive
area. Let them out in an ordinary
sized yard and they will not do trav-
cling sufficient to waste any great
amount of energy.-Farm, Stock and
Hona