davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12
Jacks Remarks.

A bride who has just gone to house.
keeping out in Overlook was rather
taken aback the other day by her
young nephew, Jack, aged 8, says the
Philadelphia Record. Jack was the
first guest of the bride and groom
after their return from the wedding
trip, and he was invited to stay to
dinner. The bride had a guest book
that had never been written in, and
Jack, as the first visitor, was asked
to take the initiative. Very labor
iously he wrote his name and address,
and then heaved a sigh of relief as a
man does in the realization of having
accomplished painful duty. But on
the opposite page was a space head
ed Remarks" and Jacks aunt call
ed his attention to this. "Oh, 1 don't
know what to say" said Jack. Say
some thing about the things you've
had to eat" suggested the bride, who
is a cooking school girl. "All right"
said Jack, and under the head of Re
marks" he wrote. Have eaten bet
ter"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12
WHY He wished to Return.

A theatrical company was playing in
Texas when one of the auditors, who
had been making considerable disturb
ance by reason of having imbibed too
frequently and freely, arose from his
seat and left the theater. refusing the
proffered return check. says the Des
Moines Register.
After taking few more drinks he
returned and demanded admission, but
had no ticket.
You can't come in," asserted the
doorkeeper.
I'D like to know why?" replied the
drunken man. II paid my money and
I'm as good as you are"
You can't come ill.," replied the
doorkeeper. because you're drunk"
"Of course I'm drunk, you On fool, !"
retorted the man. You don't suppose
I'd want back in if wasn't drunk, do
you?'
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12
SENATOR SHOOTS CASE.

! Contrary TO the expectation that ex-
! listed a few weeks ago the case of
| Senator Reed Smoot promises to be a
very important and even a sensational
one. 1t was thought when he was
| elected that there was little, If any.
! ground on which objection could be
made to him. He is a Republican, and
it is thought the Republican party out
side of Utah exerted some influence
in his behalf at the time of his cleo
ton. There didn't seem 10 be any
reason for doubt. therefore. that he
would have no difficulty in obtaining
his seat in the Senate.
But If Republican senators had in
tended to brush aside objections to him
and admit him to the seat to which
he has been elected they have been
forced by their constituents to the
conclusion that a thorough investiga-
ton of the charges against him is abb
solutely necessary. If the Republican
Senate should ignore public sentiment
in this matter it would find it had
aroused a feeling against the Republi-
can party that would make itself felt
at the ballot box.
The investigation will not be so much
of charges against Mr.. Smoot as OF
the relation which the Mormon Church
bears to the United States government.
1t is practically admitted that Mr..
SmOot isn't polygamist. He says he
isn't, and, as far as known, there is
no testimony to refute his statement
But he is an apostle of the Mormon
Church, and it is asserted that that
church is bitterly hostile to the gov
eminent. The charge is made, and
there seems to be proof to sustain it,
that every member of that church is
required to take an oath that puts
him in the attitude of an enemy of the
United States. 1t is charged that Mr..
Smoot cannot take the oath required
of a United States senator without vi
olating the oath which he took as a
member of the Mormon Church.
There is, therefore, going to be a
much more thorough investiga ton of
the Mormon Church than there was
when a seat in the House was denied to
Brigham Roberts a couple of years ago
The people who are behind the move
ment to investigate the charges against
Mr.. Smoot want the innermost work.
ings of the Mormon Church shown.
They are confident that that church
is sort of Trojan horse, and that
when the truth about it is revealed it
will appear that it is nursery of
enemies of the republic. Therefore,
the investigation cannot be made too
thorough. If the Mormon Church
nurses the hope of some time being
strong enough to destroy the govern
ment then it ought to be destroyed
While it is yet in it's infancy.
Mr.. Smoot knows all there is to be
known about the Mormon Church. He
is one of it's pillars. None of it's Sc
crets is hidden from him. There is
no desire to do him or the Norman
people injustice. 1t is for that rea-
son mainly that a searching investiga-
ton is advisable. If those who are
making the charges against the Nor
mon Church are mistaken the fact
ought to be made known. They are do
ing all they can to prejudice the public
against it. Therefore if Mr.. Smoot and
the Mormon Church are honest they
ought to court the fullest investi-
cation.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12
Saving Time.

The man with bearskin overcoat
had just bought a photograph, says
the Chicago Tribune.
This thing will talk anything 1 talk
into it, won't it?" he asked.
Yes, sir replied the dealer.
The photograph was set in motion,
and the purchaser sat down in front
of it and spoke into the mouthpiece
as follows:
POLAND China. S57 pounds. Poland
China, S57 pounds. Poland China, S57
pounds. Poland China, S57 pounds Po-
land China, $50 pounds. Poland China.
S57 pounds. Poland China, S57 pounds. .
He kept this up till he had filled the
cylinder, after which he had the ma
chine packed up, and as he put it
under his arm and turned to go, he
said:
I've got a fat hog at the stock
show. and this will save me a lot of
trouble in answering questions about
him."
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

A correspondent of the London King
relates this striking instance of the
stupidity of native servants in India.
The occasion was a big dinner party in
Calcutta, and among the hosts servants
was a khitmagar Gable servant),
whose duty it was to go round with the
champagne, or. as the natives call it,
''simkin." Unfortunately the man was
a bit "dotty," or else had been stupefy-
ing himself with opium, for when he
began with the principal woman guest
terrible contretemps occurred. The
woman was elderly and deaf. and she
habitually carried about with her an
ear trumpet. When the man came
round with the champagne she was
talking. and did not hear him say
'Simkin, memsahib?" He repeated
the question in a little louder tone, and
she raised her ear trumpet to her ear
in order to catch what was being asked
of her. Perhaps he thought it was a
new sort of drinking vessel, but, any
how he promptly filled the trumpet
with champagne
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12
NEW SCIENTIFIC PROCESS.
A Preparation Discovered That VIII
Destroy the Dandruff Germ.

For some time it has been known
that dandruff is caused by germ
that digs up the scalp into little
white flakes, and by sapping the Vi
tality of the hair at the root, causes
falling hair, and, of course, finally
badness. For years there have been
all kinds of hair stimulants and scalp
tonics on the market, but there mas
been no permanent cure for dandruH
until the discovery of a preparation
called Newbros Herpicide, which de-
stroys the dandruff germ. Destroy
the cause, the effect will cease to eX-
list Kill the dandruff germ and youH
have no dandruff, no itching scalp
no falling hair. Sold by leading drug
gists. Send 10c in stamps for sample
to The Herpicide Co., Detroit. Mlch.
Livingston's Pharmacy Company
Special Agents.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

The field of usefulness of Christian
Science and absent treatment" seems
TO be limitless. Not only can these
agencies set a broken leg and cure a
case of smallpox. according to the true
believers, but they can win at cards
and various games of chance. In a
match at whist between clubs of Ba-
yonne and Newark Bay, N. j., the
former won by a score of % to s, ow-
ing to the fact that it's members were
under absent treatment" by a scien-
fist in New York. The scientist says
that, except for the fact that she had
to discontinue the treatment for a
time to attend on an engagement she
would have made the score 80 to 0.
Here, then, is a pointer to those who
wish to daily with the pasteboards or
pick "the ponies" at the track for
profit. Make terms with a Christian
Science healer and give him Cor herr
a liberal fee for absent treatment"
while you are doing your gambling. II
Ii a simple system.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

Magazine writers are having an in
ming before the public. Ray Stannard
Baker has come into notice in connec-
ton with the charges against Gen.
Leonard Wood. and now George Eu-
gene Bryson is at the front with a
Wood story. According to Mr.. Bryson,
Gen. Wood. while military governor of
Cuba, had information Of a plot to as
sassinate President Mckinley at Buff
falo, but neglected to take action with
reward TO IL. Instead Of thanking the
man who told him of the plot against
Mckinley, according to Mr.. Bryson.
Gen. Wood expelled him from Cuba.
From the way things are going we
may expect before great while 10
see Gen. Wood convicted OF lnstigating
the Haymarket riots In Chicago and
the great strike at Homestead ana OF
cutting the dam at Johnst0wn.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

DR.. Chauvel, medical inspector of
the French army, has been making an
extended study of appendicitis. He
finds that among the Arabs and others
who are vegetarians the disease is
practically non-existent, while among
people who eat meat it prevails. And
where the people eat meat, those who
cook it most are less addicted to APP
pendicitis than those who eat rare
cuts. 1t is his opinion therefore, that
meat eating and appendicitis bear the
relation to each other Of cause and
effect.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12
Registered at Pos:omce in Savannah.
THE MORNING NEWS is published

THE MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year. and served to
subscribers III the city, or sent by mall
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THE MORNING NEWS, by mail, si1
times a week without Sunday issIel'
one month. so cents; three months.
1850; six months, $500: one year, $500
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week MONDAY and Thursday. by mail.
one year. S1.0o.
Remit by money order check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent ty mail
at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
local or reading notice.. amlseme nts
aid classified column. &c cents 3 dine.
Fourteen lines Of agate type-4qual to
one inch in Depths tie standard of
measurement CLASSIFIED column adver-
tisements, 1 cent a word each inser-
ton. Every word and figure counted
No advertisement accepted for less than
Is cents week days, rs cents Sundays.
Contract rates and discounts made
known on application at business office.
Orders for delivery of the Morning
News to either residence or place OF
business can he made by mail or by
telephone No. 30. Amy irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately re-
ported.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, H. C. Faulkner. Man
ager.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12
Educational.

1t was Johnnie's first day in school,
says the New York Sun. He did not
know the letter A from a sawhorse,
but this deficiency was more than ball
anced by his assurance. The teacher
called him up alone. The old method of
teaching reading was then in vogue.
Can you read?" said the teacher.
Yes, ma'am," replied Johnnie.
well, now we shall see," said the
teacher. You read over after me. Be
sure to read just what 1 do"
So she began slowly. running her fin
ger along under the words.
er-see-a-donkey?"
And johnnie, in the same deliberate.
sing-song voice, running his finger
along the page. replied:
Mona am--I-neVer-did."
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

Rev. Newell Dwight Hills. in the
course Of a lecture at Providence the
other day, asserted that God never
meant that one man should control all
of the oil and all of the steel OF this
country that the man Of ten talents
should crush out the one-talent man.
He never intended one man
should control oil ana possess $780,
100000 while other had none" How
Mr.. Hills knows this he did not ex-
plain. nor did he intimate by what
manner Of means Mr. Rockefeller had
been able 70 defeat the will Of Di-
vine Providence
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12
BRIGHT BITS.

-Softleigh-"Do you-aw-weally be-
live that a woman can make a fool
of any MANI" Miss Cutting-Yes, if
nature doesn't get the start of her.
Chicago Daily News.
Yes, I'm a Western man. myself"
THAT so? I've never been West, but
1 expect to go next year to the st.
Lous Fair" "Oh! that may be worth
seeing, but it won't be in it with the
-" "Ah! how are things in Chi
cago?"-Philadelph Press.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

The New York Bar Association has
refused to elect woman to member
ship in its club. A member of the
club said in connection with the mat
ter that a mans club was no place
for women; that at the club the men
liked to take off their coats and
smoke, drink and tell stories, and that
if women were present they would
prove a restraint upon the freedom
of the larger membership.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

The price of crude petroleum has
been advanced three cents a barrel in
the Pennsylvania oil regions; which
probably means that consumers of re-
fined oil will be called upon to pay one
cent more per gallon. Mr.. Rockefeller
always arranges it so that the public
will have to pay the increase in the
price of crude oil and at the same time
add something more to the Rockefeller
millions.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12
Hoods Jdrsdparillo
and Pills

Eradicate it, positively and absolute
~, This statement is based on the
thousands of permanent cures these
medicines have wrought.
"My daughter had scrofula, with elevsn
sores on her neck and about her ears. hoods
Sarsaparilla was highly recommended and
she took It and was cured. She 10 now In
good health" MRS. ]. II. JONES, Parker
City, Ind. .
Hoods SarsaparIlIa promises g
cure and keeps the promise.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

Mr.. Rockefeller does not give libraries
to municipalities and schools, as Mr.
Carnegie does. Mr.. Rockefeller has
never written a book; Mr.. Carnegie has.
And, Furthermore. where there are
libraries there are likely to be found
the very interesting articles Miss Tar
bell has written on 1.-THE History of
the Standard Oil Company"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

The New York aldermen have Just
adopted a new ordinance for the better
regulation of street traffic. Two of
the rules are worthy of the attention
Of our own City Council. One reads:
mo vehicle will be allowed to stop
with its left side to the curb" and
the other, Slowly moving vehicles
must keep close to the curb line so as
to allow the faster free passage on the
left" The wisdom of these rules will
be at once seen by those who are IA
miliar with street traffic. The vehicle
with its left side to the curb is headed
against the stream of traffic, and as
soon as it starts to move it is con-
fronted by oncoming vehicles and the
result is a tangle or much annoyance.
And everybody who drives or rides is
familiar with the slow-moving coal
cart or heavy wagon that takes its
way leisurely up the middle of the
roadway, to the annoyance of all driv-
ers of vehicles of lighter build or more
rapid speed. There are a few of our
streets that are badly congested at
certain hours of the day, and in them
rules of the road that will be en-
forced are needed.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

Solomon's judgment between wom-
en- claiming a child was duplicated in
Pittsburg the other day, and. as in
the original instance. the real mother
begged that the child's life be spared
when a sword was brought to divide
it
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12
The Weather.

The indications for Georgia for to-
fresh south winds. Eastern Florida,
fair weather. with fresh variable
winds.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12
The Senate Cnrnmittne On I

The Senate Committee on Inter-
state Commerce. over which Senator
Elkins presides, + almost made up of
ex-governors. Mr. Cullom of this state.
Mr.. Kean Of New Jersey, Mr.. Fora
ker OF Ohio, Mr.. Tillman OF South
Carolina, Mr.. McLaurin OF Misslssip-
pi and Mr. Foster OF Louisiana
have all served one or more terms as
Governor OF the states which they
now represent In the Senate,
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

The most remarkable athletic feat
OF the period is that OF Russia and
Japan. who have for momhs been
hanging by sn eye-lash over the vor-
tex Of war, without slipping
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12
JcrofuLd
It is commonly inherited.

It IS commonly inherited.
Few are entirely free from e.
Pale, weak, puny children are
afflicted with it in nine cases out OF
ten, and many adults suffer from it.
Common indications are punches in
the neck, assesses, cutaneous erup-
tons, infamed eyelids, sore ears.
ricketts,, catarrh, wasting, and general
debility
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

Every thrifty, progressive farmer is
looking for supplementary money crops
that will not add greatly to his run
ming expenses. The publication, silk, +"
of Tallulah Falls, Ga, gives this ad-
vice: Raise silk. The crop can be
ready for market in six weeks. The
work can be nearly all done by menu
bers of the family not now regarded
as producers-women, children and
infirm men. The returns are cash, and
in liberal amount" The United States
now send abroad for silks every year
about $1O0, O0O, 900.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

The General Assembly of South Car
DINA some time ago made an appro-
priation of 500, 900 for monument to
Wade Hampton, conditioned on the
raising of fund of $4,000 by popular
subscription. Less than half of the
popular fund has been raised, and the
time is at hand when report must
be made to the Legislature. 1t seems
that only five or six counties have
taken any interest in the matter, and
$3.50 is the largest amount raised in
any one county. This is decidedly not
good showing. 1t reflects no credit
upon the state or her sense of graft
tude. Wade Hampton was one of the
greatest of her post-bellum statesmen.
During the reconstruction period he
stood the personifcation Of what was
best in the commonwealth and repre-
sented the hope of the people for re-
demption from a rule of bayonets and
corruption. Can his services and his
character have been so soon forgot
ten? We cannot believe it, and we
look to see the Carolinians speedily
make good the deficiency in their sub
scriptions and build splendid monu-
ment to Wade Hampton.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

OLD NEWSPAPERS. 200 FOR %
cents, at business ONCE, Morning
News.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

a negro man was sold at auction
in Indianapolis, Ind, the other day,
under the auspices of the Marion Coun-
ty Woman's Christian Temperance
Union. The bidding was slow. and the
negro was finally knocked down for
$3.50 to a commission merchant. The
chattel thus disposed of is to work
for the purchaser for board and
clothes, with the option on the part
of the purchaser to pay wages if he
thinks his purchase is worth anything.
Had this incident occurred in Missis-
sippi, there would have arisen a cry
of slavery by the Northern press;
but since it occurred in Indiana we
suppose 1t will be called an act of
charity on the part of the commission
merchant in providing a home for the
negro.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

Mr.. Ernest II. Crosby, the social re-
former of Rhinebeck. n. Y, has now
reached the conclusion that the war
between the states was a terrible mis-
take on the part of the North. Pres-
dent Lincoln, he says, should have per-
mitted the seeding states to depart in
peace, as Greeley advised. Had that
plan been followed. he asserts, slavery
would have been abolished, there would
have been no race problem in this coun-
try, there would have been gradual
reunion of the states through voluntary
returns of the seceders, and everybody
would have been as happy as clans
at high water. Isn't it remarkable,
by the way. how many apologists for
secession are making their appearance
these days in unexpected quarters?
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-12

as ne secured MS enOS OF MS cats
ends.
In $500 years hence, writes John
M. Clarke in Harpe1's Weekly, the dis
charge of the Niagara will have be-
come intermittent, ceasing at low
stages of the lake, and finally the Nj
agara river, on the rising edge of the
basin, will have it's waters turned back
and southwark and no water will flow
over the Niagara escarpment of that
day. Through this agency alone Nj
agara Falls will cease to exist long
before the escarpment has been worn
away to the river level at Grand Island,
but as it is even now lessening the
volume of water poured over the falls
the erosive power of the stream is di-
minishing, and we must therefore in
crease the period necessary for the re-
treat of the Canadian Falls to the
south end of Goat Island, and the
stealing of the waters of the American
falls. Assuming the continuity of the
forces named we might outline the
probable future life and the death of
the falls thus: with progressive loss in
water volume the Canadian Falls will
reach the south end of Goat Island in
from 1000 to 1900 years; the death
of the American falls. The flow of the
waters will now have become intermit-
tent, and at nrSt only at periods of
mean and high water in Lake Erie,
eventually at high water alone, will
there be any discharge over the es-
carpment. This will continue for a
period of from 1900 TO 1900 years. The
entire flow to the north will cease, and
the river will run back into Lake Erie,
leaving the escarpment dry at a point
not very far south OF Goat Island, and
with a hight of about 100 feet. This
Will bee $500 years henee--the death
OF Niagara Falls.