The San Francisco call., 1903-12-21


homes wrecked and hearts broken by
the thousand upon thousand every
year raises the most startling ques-
tions about the relations of the sexes.
But this is not a genenSl discussion
Of abstract principles nor a criticism
of existing conditions. 1t is an ap-
peal TO individual men and women
who have made the terrible discovery
that the happiness Of which they
dreamed through marriage has been
blasted by the incop Of their
temperaments. In all human life
there is no greater tragedy. The
slow capitalization Of this suspicion
into certainty is like losing ones life
blood drop by drop. In all such eX-
periences the burning question is.
What shall we do-endure the bitter
disappointment and the ceaseless sor-
row with meek resignation or disrupt
the hateful bond?
Undoubtedly the former answer is
the law Of life. But with what wild
protest il is answered by these tor
tured human hearts We have been
defrauded OF 81 life's greatest happi-
ness" they cry. We have a right TO
be happy and are not BY what prin-
ciple Of justice can we be required to
pass our lives without it when it is
just within our reach2' This is an
exceeding bitter cry. It is wrung
from bleeding hearts. It raises a
question that must be answered in ac-
cOrdance with the eternal rightness
in the nature Of things.
In the first place. such sufferers are
bound TO remember that 10 some great
degree (whose limits may not be ac-
curately deflned) their individual hap
piness must be subOrdinated to the
good OF the state. This is a principle
against which the soul struggles in
vain The same mysterious obliga-
ton that incites men 10 suffer wounds
and death for the good Of their coun-
try on the battle field ought to in
cite them to suffer marital unhap-
piness II need be. 1t is easy TO re-
sent and repudiate this duty, but it is
impossible TO deny il. The frightful
increase Of divorce is a national peril.
The very existence Of righteousness
in the state is threatened by 1t. Not
a citizen is exempt from the respon-
sibility this involves. The tories of
the revolution and the copperheads
Of the rebellion were not a whit more
false to their country than are the
people who for trivial and contempti-
bic reasons threaten the stability of
our government by breaking its most
solemn contract and spreading the ia
tai pestilence Of easy divorces.
In the second place. the people who
are contemplating divorce ought to
realize what pusillsnimity and selfish
ness prompt the vast majority Of these
unhOly disruptions Of marriage. 1t was
only a few days ago that a man peti-
toned for a divorce because his wife
was getting old and he wanted a
younger lOne. And this is scarcely
more contemplate than the motives
that secretly prompt the majority of
the people who break this sacred tie.
In some form or other It is almost al
ways self-lOve. People whine and say:
We are not happy" Well, in the
name Of God, be happy You have as
good a chance as the vast majority.
Nine out Of ten Of the couples that
have at last achieved contentment
have won il against exactly the same
sort OF odds which you are encounter
ing a right TO be happy" One gets
tired Of this childish plant What most
people want Of life is happiness without
effort. What most people seek in mar
riage is the alteration and slavery OF
the person whom they marry.
Men marry women to have them
purr and caress and coddle them
Women marry men 10 have them dress
and pet and fiatter them. Unframed
70 high moral obligations. insensible to
sublime ideals, incapable Of self-con-
trol, they enter into the holy" estate
Of matrimony absolutely and solely for
their own pleasure. No wonder they
make shipwreck of it. This is not true
Of all people who find married life IN
endurable, but il most unquestionably
is true Of the vast masses. and il is
not irreverent to say that even the Di-
vine Power is incapable OF making such
people happy. The trouble with nine
out Of ten Of all the couples who find
their marriages uncomfortable is that
they are mad because the other party
10 the contract is not willing to be a
slave or that they themselves are not
willing 10 pull their share Of the load
II is self-loVe that is making marriage
the despair Of the age.
II you are unhappy and desperate
take another tack. Abandon your old
scheme Of happiness. Do not any long.
er try TO achieve it by attempting Il
extort ii from your husband CT your
wife. Try 10 get it by f-sacrifice
Try to get IL by giving il. Divorce will
not insure it. Por you viii take that
same selfish heart into another aIli-
snce
But even il this is not true. even Il
people have exhausted every power in
trying to make their married life q
blessing-do not disrupt il except for
that last. final and sufficient reason
You know your present Ills, but you
do not know u-baf Won ara fkvfrcy ~ 7,