The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1903-12-09

sent. Tom Purdy, for you to sit down
in front of that cows legs! You are a
husband and the father of family.
and your life insurance has run out,
and l won't. So there!'
"Where shall I sit?' asked Purdy,
in discouraged tone.
Why. behind her, Of course!' said
Mrs Purdy.
IF I sit behind her, she may step
backward!' said Purdy.
"And if you sit before her. she may
step forwardr' said Mrs. Purdy.
And swing her tail in your eyes,
said Mrs. Potts.
True" said I, believing it was al
ways the best policy to agree with
Arminta MauGe.
Her milking arrangement is put in
Just the most inconvenient locality in
the worldT said Purdy, impatiently.
Now if ever build COW I'll have il
where it is easier of access, and III
patent it! by jingo, will!'
After a little more discussion on the
subject, which would not interest the
reader. we placed the pail under the
place where the milk was supposed to
be. and Purdy squatted on one side OF
the animal. and I squatted on the
other.
We seized each a couple Of teats and
gave squeeze. A stream of milS
about the size of knitting needle hi
me square in the left eye, and another
one hit Mrs. Potts on the ornamented
skirt of her new cashmere dress, bu,
Purdy was more fortunate and hit the
edge of the milk pail.
Amt it jolly?" said he, pausing to
wipe the perspiration from his fore
head. and just then, whisk came that
cows tail right across his eyes, and he
went over backward and the COW
stepped forward and planted one foot
in the pail and the other on my left
great toe where there is corn about
twice the size of the toe itself.
''Thunderationw cried Purdy; "who
was that struck me?
rs the milk spilled?" asked Mrs.
Purdy.
Itwas spilled, and the pail was dirty.
Mrs. Purdy took it into the house, and
washed it, and we began anew.
You hold her tail, Marier," said
Purdy. Il don't run no risks of that
kind again, now tell ye."
: I'm afraid" said Mrs. Purdy.
"Tll help you," said Mrs. Potts,
bravely, and as we squatted again the
two women laid hold of that tail.
You should have seen the result!
That COW dropped the hay she was
masticating, and did her level best to
stand on her head. Her heels went up
fully six feet in the air. and Mrs. Purdy
was flung down the trap door into the
barn cellar, while Mrs. Potts, after
turning two swift somersaults, brought
ND under the feet Of Purdy's aston
ished horse, in the next stall.
I found myself in the crib, huggine
the milk pail 10 my breast; and Purdy,
at the first charge, retreated to the hay
NOW. where an hour afterward we dug
him out. very much scared, but no
bones broken.
The COW went down street, and de-
voured the stock iA trade of an apple
woman. and was finally brought back
by a policeman. who asked FIVE dollars
! for. the Job.
Purdy begged him to take the COW
for his pay, but the policeman inf1g'
nantly refused he wasn't in the milk
| line himself.
Next day the cow was advertised for
sale. and Mrs Purdy and Mrs. Potts
kept their beds, with strong smell OF
camphor pervading the house.
used arnica.
The COW was sold for forty dollars,
and the Purdy cherub is being brought
up on city milk. but if you want to
hear profanity just you say cow TO
Purdy.-New York Weekly.