The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-08-06
HARD TIMES FUN.


HARD TIMES FUN.
The other day New York broker was
called to the telephone by one of his Gus
toners, who inquired, How is Stel!
"steel is holding It's own fairly we'll
replied the broker.
"Holding its own said the inquirer
well should say 30. 1t is holding lis
own. and It is holding mine also"
That reminds us of good story told on
an old negro barber in North Carolina
town who was given to saying pleasant
things. Whenever customer came IN
he Invariably had some f1attering remark
to make about his general appearance.
but finally he had call from a notorious
ly ugly man about whom even this old
flattcrer could say nothing good. But the
customer came regularly to the shop, the
old negro learned to like him. and finally
he determined to make pleasant re-
mark whether or not, and this Is the
way ne put 1t, "Said he: BOSS, when
Won ftlst come into dis shop thought
you was one O. de homeliest gentman
ever seed. But sense l has been shawn
YOU must say you holds your own
pow full WE'LL
=-====-====
Exper iments are being made Win
new paper to be used In the printing
Of national bank notes. 1t is said to
possess all the valuable characteristics
OF that which is now in use by the gov
eminent, and In addition Is soft to the
touch-not crisp and hard.
One advantage Of the change will be
that instead of taking months to print
a bank note, hereafter, It may be print
cd in a few days. 1t is said. too. that the
new paper will not shrink when wetted-
a valuable quality, when press work Is
considered. But what is most needed now
is stock" that will not shrink" That
is of more consequence than to find
printing paper that will not shrink.
--====-=--@-
Some effort has been made recently to
induce General Nelson A. Miles to become
a candidate for the position of Com
mander- in Chief of the Grand Army Of
the Republic at Its meeting soon to be
held in San Francisco. But the General
is too wary to be caught entering into a
hopeless contest with the administration
forces. He is quoted as saying: II am not
a candidate for Commander-in-Chief, and
1t is not likely that the place will be Of
fered to me-"
General Black is prominently mentioned
in connection with the Office and will be
the successful candidate, no doubt.
z====--==--=
"My first pleasure when 1 can spare
moment will be TO explore tie gardens
which now confine my little world" said
the Pope yesterday in talking about his
plans for the future.
That shows that he will adhere to the
policy adopted by Plus TX. and Leo XIII.
and not go beyond the boundaries OF the
Vatican so long as the relations Of the
government and the church continues
as at present with reference to the lat
ter,s temporal power.
====-=--===-=
The story from Oklahoma of two
year.old child being killed by plymouth
Rock rooster reminds the Charlotte OBJ
server of tragedy In North Carolina,
which II relates as follows:
Many years ago a North Carolina judge
or ex-judge--Judge Spencer, of Anson--
was killed by a turkey. He was a very
old man. and WAS sitting In the yard
with red skull-cap on his head. The
red attracted the attention Of the turkey
and angered 1t, and 1t flow upon the
wearer of the cap and pecked. spurred
and beat him to death.
-=-----==
IT Is beginning to dawn upon some peo-
pie that the venerable Senator Morgan
either knew what he was talking about
or was mighty good prophet when he
said Uncle Sam would never get that
canal business through the Colombian
| Congress.
-==---=------=
| 1t Is said that rainy weather this sum-
mer has had tendency to make plants
| 80 to seed earlier than usual. Several
presidential boomlets seem to have been
caught in the same kind of weather.
==-=---=-=-=
| Every time Admiral Cotton clanks
! glasses with a scion of royalty, Admiral
Crownins HELD Just goes right ont In the
back yard and kicks and swears.
-===-=-=--.====
| Pope Leo lived on sl.28 q day. The
pictures of the new Pope, Plus *. nd!'
cate that he has been getting away witt
l moro hash than that amount will pay for
Observation-Disclosures
Tho Introduction Of the American hgf
ball Is declared to be In some way respon