Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1903-11-14

nv none zoo We'll on. had loNnu no
other friend who could supply her
place i'm faithfulness and devotion. She
is not prcpOssessing 20 look ar. but she
loves me; too well fear. for she would
rot even let mo lie though she knew
my secret desperation
But this is hurrylng on TOO fast.
studied then. long and faithfully. and
practiced every hour. when was not
obliged TO work for my Subsistence
Hope sustained me. aud the days few
hy or WINGS. Ny eighteenth birthday
passed. and the day was set for mc TO
try my voice i'm concert. Had I carried
out this Intention l might have been
saved two more years OF useless labor
and vain hope. But unfortunately.
nc the las; minute n spirit or oppoSi-
ton sliced me and refused 80 test
my powers til l could do SO with all
the eclat OF sccncr- and costume. l
would appear rs Marghcrila or not ut
oil. and my fooliShness was listened
10. AMI my debut postponed.
a new teacher now took me n
charge. was able TO pay him Some
thing. but not much. Never mind;
I thcre was a future in store FOR me;
was nut running mp debt which
/ / could easily liquidlte by one night
! OF triumphant song. N ne were will
T inc To- wait-and he seemed 10 be-
| certainly could DO this. for my voice
/ and manner and style were improving
! daily. and ere long the doors o. the
theatres must open before me. and
/ wealth and honor take the place OF in
, dircncc and obscuriy.
Looking at me now and remembers
.n- my failure. can YOU ima-inc such
/ folly. You must he young ana poor
ana have a voice 90 do il. Why. this
room has been peopled with visions.
1 have seen myself in the possession OF
4 every power. every happiness. When
my fingers have achcd with writing. I
have thought OF the day ia store for
mo. when just my signature would be
7 worth gold. TIL then 1 wanted no
[ companionship. and fclt myself I'M
tempted by pleasure or wealth. TIL /
7 could enjoy all. l wanted nothing.
I preferred 90 take my happiness at
bound. and from these rooms of faded
grandeur and sordid suggestions. step
at once into the palatial apartments
suited 90 The successful prima donna.
you can imagine then. the excite
mcnt OF those days, when 1 was in
formed lv my enthusiastic teacher
that the ;imc had come FOR my appear
ancc. and that after two short months
90 rehearsal. the stage OF the --- -.
should pc ready fos uy debut. II time
few before. IL halted now. Never.
never. would those two months pass.
SO slowly, FOR ] was very busy. The
rchearsals themselves Wee enough 90
absorb nc. and they did. but they
; never lcft me satisfied. and I longed
90 end them. Somehow / needed an
audience. cor so I thought. / could no,
warm ZIP 20 empty benches; but my
manager seemed satisfied. and fed me
with batteries. and expended great
sums Of money on my toilets and the
stage accessories. He was sure OF sue
cess. but not SO sure as l was. I can
say this now. since have SO oSrcgiOus-
Is failed. / neither doubted my voice
nor my training nor my spirit I left
this room on that fatal night. calm.
l took what l thought 10 be my last
. look OF these miserable apartments.
with the Quie; farewell Of ono who
feels her fortune assured ! left be-
hind ia il many memories. hut l went
: forward - great hopes. When ! heard
: The door close. had the feeling OF
Z something shutting upon my past, and
went downstairs and out TO my car
riagc with a different step than that
which had been accustomed to mark
my departure.
This feeling followed me 10 the the
atre and increased. rather than dlmin-
lshcd. with the putting on or the dainty
robes which anOther's enthusiasm had
, provided for me. Nor did the sounds
OF the orchestra make me quail. nor
the voice OF the call-boy; nothing
( moved me till. having crossed the
stage. ! caught a glmpse-or did feel
the presencc-Of the vast crowd that
awaited in eager expectancy for my
urst notes. Then. indeed. a dagger en-.
tered my heart. and terror. such as the
= victim OF the amphithcatre alone can
know. caught me in its clutches, par
alyzing throat and limbs tin / could
: have Welcomed any death that would
have annihilated my consciousness /
: was before the fo0uights; l was in the
spot where l had pictured myself for
!, years. and ] could not sing a note; ]
could not even fly; / must stop anC
- face ;he wonder. the pity. the disgust
:. that must be on every countenance
iii Fate should come 60 my aid and
break the spell that bound me-
7. ut came in the shape OF 4 few stray
. efforts 81 applause. doubtless meant fOl
!. my encouragement The sOund-it wa.
- the ftrsf | had hcard-SponpI to fooScf