St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-10-31
OBJECTED 10 ONIONS.
N Made No Dinerence who He VISA
the Odor was Strongly 4
Against Him.

l met u EeldL1Ve OIL m10S- CIO0S
one-that I'd never seen before, when !
got back to Washington the other day"
Sad an army officer who returned from
q tour of duty IN the Philippines recently.
states the Washington Star. 'The rela-
tive happened to be q son Of mine. He
was born . couple ofmonths after l made
the start for the islands three years ago.
I'll leave it to youto figure out how eager
ly l have been peering forward to have
a look at that fellow during the long daya
and the longer nights of those intermina-
BILE three years. The eagerness was the
more acute because he's my first one.
And I guess maybe it. didn't feel pretty
good when I at last found myself on the
train this side of the Alleghanies and
only a few hours away from that little
shaver stranger and his mother.
II was due in Washington about II
o'clock at night, and they tackled the
dining car on somewhere around Harris
burg. l was hungry for United States
food, as I had been for three years, and
I didn't seem to be able to get enough Of
It. One Of the things that made an in
slant hit with me was q nice long dish
full of f1ne-looking spring onions, litter
ed up with tiny particles of ice. Those
onions were mighty attractive and ap-
petizing-looking. I can tell you, to q natu-
a spring onion for more than three
years. And yet I looked those onions
over for quite awhile before tackling
them. It was SO long since I'd seen my
wife that I was figuring that I'd probably
have to begin counting her all over again,
and I thought to myself as I gazed wolf
ishly at those onions on the nice long
dish. that it would be q pretty poor be-
ginning for me to hike into my wife's
arms with the powerful and prosaic ef-
iuvia Of spring onions on my breath.
Il grieve to state, however, that the
onions won out. I simply couldn't resist
'em. I gobbled up. the whole plateful,
resolving that when I met my wife and
she noticed the aroma, I'd simply have
to throw myself on the mercy of the
court. g IL -
well, my wife was at the station. Of
course, to meet me. 1t was pretty nigh
midnight. She was too busy looking
me vel and commenting upon my coat
of bronze to mention the onions. even
IL she had noticed them, and she had too
much to tell me about the kid, anyway,
as we sped uptown on the street cars.
"The kid was asleep, Of course, and
when we slipped into the and
turned up the gas I suppose, maybe, ]
didn't take a good long look at the little
tIke-and maybe, also, there wasn't q
lump about the size of an old-fashioned
gourd just at the point where my front
collar button presses against my neck.
Then l grabbed the still sleeping kid
out of the bed. He opened his eyes and
surveyed me with a calm scrutiny, while
I gave him a hug. Then he turned his
head away from me, with a very de-
cided expression of disapproval. This
hurt his mother and she instantly said to
him:
"'Why, Jackie, that's your papa!
"The kid turned his head away from
me in the other direction and struggled
to be turned loose.
I don't care who he is he replied In
the calmest accents imaginable, I amt
a-goin' to let nobody blow onions all
over metz"