Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1903-07-23

agree TO arbttrate the case. ."-Chlcago
Tribune.
Patience-Did you say she came
from lighting stockl Patrice-Yes; her
mother and father were both members
Of church cholrs in their early days.
Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Gramercy-Do you think 1t was
an intentional slight on the part OF
Mrs. Newrichs Mrs Park-Why, no,
my dear. She hasn't been lady long
enough to know how to be rude
Puck.
In Boston: The Polieeman-Say. son.
are you lostG Child--No. sir. l know
my Whereabouts perfectly, but | pre-
sumo my father and mother would like
to be directed to where l am.-Kansas
City Independent
The owner--See herel You want to
handle that trunk more carefully! The
Porter-rll look out for II, sir. l know
a man who let one fall on his toes last
month, an he amt out of the hospital
yet"-Town and Country.
To Its detriment: "one thing can be
said about our opera houses" remark.
ed the Observer OF Events and Things;
''too much attention seems to have
been given to the acoustic properties of
the boxes. Yonkers Statesman.
Salesman Recommending blue neck
tie with large pink spotsl But
wouldn't you ike one like thatf I'm
selling a lot Of them this year. Sar-
castle Customer-Indeed! Very clever
Of you. I'm sure.-Harvard LampoOn.
All day: Her novel is not one of
the ephemeral successes" "Indeed?"
''Oh, yes. 1t was published before 8
o'clock in the morning, and was not
completely forgotten until quite bit
after o'clock In the evening. Life.
"How is your youngest daughter get
ting on with her muslcp Splendid
ly," answered Mr.. Cumrox; "her in
structor says that she plays Mozart In
a way that Mozart himself would
never have dreamed of."-Washington
Star.
How is your daughter getting on
with her music?' 'Splendidly," an
swered Mrs. Cumrox; ''she can go to
a classical concert and tell exactly
where to applaud without watching
the rest Of the audience. e."-Washing
ton Star.
The Count (old enough to be grand
father and after Miss Moneyton)-I
haf asked your mamma and she gif
her consent-and-now I-er- Miss
Moneytcn-I am so glad! But won't 1t
be funny to call you papa?-Lippin-
colts Magazine.
A London clockmaker has placed the
notice in his window: The
creature who removed the
from this door had better
return IT, as it win be of no use where
he is going, as it only registers 125 de-
grees. ."-Answers.
Safety in numbers: Brannigan-
Come home, an teck supper wild me,
Flannigan-Shure, it's past
yer supper time, now; yer wife'n be
mad as a halter. Brannigan-That's
jist it; she can't lick the two Of u.s.
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
IL recall a remark that General
Grant made to me once at dinner"
said boastful Woodby Graft, which |
was most characteristic Of the man."
II think 1 can guess what it was"
said Pepprey. "WhatY' Keep the
change for yourself, my man."-Phila-
delphia Press.
How wasteful Of that gardener
the star boarder as he bit
savagely but hopelessly at his aspara.
gus. How is that" asked the land
lady. "Why, If he had let these stalks
grow one week longer he could have
sold them for telegraph poles."-BaI-
timore American.
Parson Johnson-Ah wish de mud.
ders OBJ dis congregation would bring
deyr babies to church wifi dem. Nevah
mind how young dey am, Jess bring
'em erlong. If dey am too young to
appreciate de significance OBJ de ser.
vice, dey can, at least, yell an keep
de deacons awake!-Puck.
The American Father: Ascum-An-
other baby, and girl this time, eh?
How does 1t make you feel to have a
daughter? Popley-Great! One Of the
drst things you think about 1t Is how a
foreign nobleman will come courting
ler some day, and how you'll turn him
Aown good and proper. hiIdelphia
Press.
A heavier loss: Hark! In the dark
watches Of the night they could plain
y hear footsteps in the kitchen. Bur
ylars| he exclaimed, hastily covering
lp his head. "Oh, Henryp sighed his
wife; II wish l had your faculty for
ooking at the bright side of things.
I'm sure it's that Brown woman try
ng to entice my cook away."-Kansas
Jity Independent.
Ingenuity's reward: "You say Bur-
on is leading a double life? I'm as
He's the last man In the
world I'd suspect Of anything of that
lind. Eyes, his wife's In Europe, and
lie has to stay down at the office near.
y every evening to copy with his own
land the nice, gossipy letter his type Z
writer has written for him during the
lay. He says It's a great scheme.