The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-08-23
IT'S NOT ALL JOY
TO LOOK down ON
REST OF MANKIND
The Extremely Tai Man Has a
Life of Misery Some Day
He May Write a Book of
Which This Is a Sample
Story.

There is in New York an extremely
lalI man. an extremely tall and an
extremely thin man, who asserts MS
life has been of unmitigated misery on
account of his height.
Some day, like most men VINO nave
complaints, he is going to write DOCK
about it.
Even in making this declaration he
has been leased by friends who nave
inquired with mock solicitude wnether
the book will be as long and dry as
the author" He is strictly temper
ance"-or has that reputation.
To these remarks the prospective
author has replied that he will make
the book fountain spring of wit ana
humor-if he can find publisher: AS
a prospectus he relates the following:
when l was a boy" said the man
6 feet 6 inches in height. * had one
wish. That was to brow up blythe
bigger the better. It's funny how ones
ideas change. Now 1 am big, but it's
mostly in one direction. There isn't
much breadth.
Troubles Begin at School.
my troubles began at school. By
the time / was fourteen years old was
six feet tall / must have made a COM
zeal figure in short trousers. 1 pleaded
with my mother for long ones, but she
was firm in declaring 1 had to stay in
short trousers until 1 was fifteen.
Some of the fellows named me
Line which according to Euclid is
length without BREADTH Others call
ed me Tongs,' with reference to the
length of my legs.
1.-The smaller fellows, the fellows of
three feet nothing, were the bane OF
my life. One who about came UP to
the middle button of my coat used to
make a pair of field glasses out of his
hands and peer UP at me from safe
distance. Then he would exclaim:
why hullo, Jones, 1 thought it
was Cleopatra's needle
Another, also from respectful dis
lance, would advise me to wear an
overcoat so l could cast shadow In
quiries as to the state of weather up
there" were everyday occurrences.
by the time l left school 1 was six
feet six inches, and quickly found out
that schoolboys are not the only ones
who tease a man built that way.
Won't you take your seat, sir?"
man asked me one evening in the thea
ter If you will L think the people be-
hind you will be able to see something of
the stage.
4 am sitting I replied, Indignantly.
20, beg pardon, replied the lunatic;
I didn't know there was so much of you
''At that every one within hearing
laughed loudly
lone young beggar accosted me on the
street and offered me the stump of his
Light that at the lampost, will yer?'
he asked.
go, you can stretch yourself he re-
Joined.
ION another occasion was sitting In
the park when a couple of boys came
along 1 arose to walk away and one said
to the other:
Say, but I'm glad he's all up at last
] thought he was going right on up
through the clouds.
But think the worst time had was in
my counting days. The young woman of
my choice was a shade under five feet and
barely came as high as my heart, physi-
cally speaking. You may imagine what a
ludicrous contrast We presented when we
took our walks together.
Many Trouble During courtshIp
1.-THE first time 1 walked with her a
young urchin with an earnest look of in
quiry asked my fair companion: Please,
Miss, did you take him in installments? p
l hadn't even the solace of boxing his
ears.
Another of the genus boy who ought to
have known better, for he was on his
way to Sunday school, serenaded me with:
Love me little love me long, while q
bibulous gentleman offered my fiance an
elevator If she would like to kiss me.
Even In the shelter of her home 1 was
not safe. One day her youngest brother,
little fellow of years, came rushing up
to me and yelled: o, Mr.. Jones, please
do make knot.
MAKE a what? I asked.
Make a knot Charlie'-that's an ell
der brother-C Charlie says that when YOU
go to bed you tie yourself in knots, and I
want to see one. Please do. 1t will be
fun
No, Edgar replied. The only knot
/ am going to tie is the marriage knot,
and Edith is going to help me, aren't YOU.
dear? ~
a. Some day. she answered.
"And she did,