davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
He Knew.

Three men were sitting in the smok-
ing compartment of a Pullman car,
when one, in referring to 1.-THE Pit"
commended it's realistic phases. A
neighbOr criticised the book on the
poirt where Jadwin is described as fig
uring out commissions, and said that
any big operator would have carried
the data in his head. The third gen
tle-nan was appealed to, and agreeing
with the second, thought that 1.-THE
PITT was wrong on that point.
But" interposed the first, Ibid you
ever carry wheat on margin?
''Oh, yes" said number three.
Large quantitiesw
Very large"
"How many bushels?"
lone hundred and ffty-sev n mill
ions!"
The number one and, number two
looked at number three and asked him
his name.
Joseph Letter." he rerli.d.-New
York.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
A Literary Record.

Sir Edward Russell's record in the
way of literary work was his article Oh
Matthew Arnold on the day that great
man died. Sir Edward had exclusive
information of the event, which hap
pened on a Sunday. He did not get
to work until half past in the even
ing, and it was necessary for him to
catch train at 8 o'clock. By dint Of
debating to his secretary and writing
himself, he got through biographical
article of column and a half and
two column leader within one hour
and twenty minutes. Such a feat has
never been eXcelled.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
A silver Riddle.

English tram car companies use in
counting the money taken in what is
called "silver riddle" Four or five
frames are placed on the top of each
other, and a given quantity of mixed
silver is emptied in on to the topmost
Shake the latter anC IL the pieces ex-
cept the half crowns will disappear
through the wire net arrangement on
to the frame below. Shake frame No.
2 and everything goes through except
the forms, and thus the coins are even
tually exhausted down to the three
penny pieces.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
PERSONALS.

Mrs. Theodore Roosevelt is men,
Der of the Oyster Bay Book club.
Paris has one acre of park for every
fifteen persons; Liverpool one for every
1000.
The Italian ambassador to the Unit
ed States will sail for his native coun-
try on July 1.
Nine. Loubet, wife Of the president
of the French republic, is strong adj
vocate of co-education.
Mary Elizabeth Lewis has been ap-
pointed head of Reed hall, the new
dormitory for girls at Missouri univer-
sity.
James A. Beattie has resigned the
presidency of Hiram CO., college.
James A. Garfield was once president
Of this institution.
By the will of Spencer G. Doty of
Yonkers, the descendants of the May
flower pioneers OF New York come into
possession of a small wooden trunk
which came over in the famous ship.
Miss Annie Peck, a graduate Of the
University Of Michigan, has gone to
South america to climb Mount SOrata,
the Andean peak, supposed to be the
highest elevation on the earth.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22

ST CAN DO THE WORK IN TWO HOURS"
charged at least Sc. can do the work
in two hours, and he would have daw-
died around for three days."
"But you set out to varnish the front
door two years ago and''-
"And 1 vanished it. A jealous mind
ed painter told me to mix in castor oil,
and the door didn't dry for a month,
but that was not my fault"
land last year you painted the front
fence and''-
"And 1 made a good job of it too.
Everybody brushed against it and (
had three or -four fights, but it's the
best looking fence on the street to-
day. It's no use your trying to dis
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22

courage me. l can save So and have a
little play spell at the same time, and
I'm going to do it. I'll show you a set
of steps up which a king would be
proud to walk"
That settled it. Half an hour later
he had got into an old suit of clothes
and was ready for business, His first
move was to paint a sign Of Paint
and stick it up on the gate, and he
had hardly begun on the steps when
man came along and halted to say:
II do not exactly understand. 1 see
no paint on this gate. Is it that you
intend to paint it later on?'
Don't you see paint on these steps?"
asked Mr.. Bowser as he rose up.
81 do, but the steps are not the gate.
l am naturally of contiding, trusting
disposition, sir, but this is going too far
too far. If you really intend to paint
the gate l have nothing to say, but if
your object is to deceive people, then,
sir-then let me say that you are an
old scoundrel and pass on"
Mr.. Bowser got down to the gate as
fast as he could, but the kicker had
too much the start of him. He took
down the sign, however, and nailed it
up on the steps, and after brushing
away for fifteen minutes he entered the
basement for Il drink of water. He
came out to find knife grinder about
to wiring the front door bell, and after
one look he yelled:
Get out of this, you Internal idiot!
Didn't you see the sign and the paint?"
''You gotta no shears to sharpen, eh?'
queried the man as he made new tracks
in the fresh paint.
Mr.. Bowser grabbed for him. but he
twisted and lodged and made bclt
for the gate.
The work then went on for half an
hour without interruption, and it was
man and a dog who broke in upon
the harmony. The Bowser cat had
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22

lection. AS he appeared one of them
arose and said:
"Please, kind sir, could you assist
four worthy but unfortunate men who
are on their way west to grow up with
the country?"
Mr.. Bowser couldn't. He leaned up
against the house, and his cigar went
out and the night came down, and
when Mrs. Bowser and the cook finally
coaxed him inside he glared around
him and his lips moved without utter
ing words, and it was plain that some
awful shock had upset his mental sys-
tenn. NJ QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

Brussels has church clock wound
by atmospheric expansion induced by
the heat of the sun.
The proportion of Chinese to In
dams in the United States is as two
to three.
Of the American males over forty
years of age 500 per cent. are mar
ried.
The population Of Canada east of
Lake Superior is 100000 and west Of
it 100000.
California produces more dollars
worth of oranges than of gold-oranges
over $1S,OOO.OOO and gold $1lOOO,OOO.
A count Of the unoccupied houses in
London show 10000. That is one
house in fifteen of the whole city.
England and the continent of Eu-
rope have suffered from frost and cold
this spring more than for twenty years.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
A Desperate Character.

First Henpecked Husband-Well, sir,
I've been gone and done it. My wife
wouldn't give me the latchkey again
this morning, so l took it by force-by
force, do you hear me?
Second Ditto (admiringly)-Say, old
man, don't let my wife hear that.
She'll never let me go out with you
again.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
influence of Laughter ON Digestion.

influence of Laughter ON Digestion.
The efficacy Of laughter as an aid to
assimilation and Authorization has
passed into such q common physlolog-
ical truism that no one of ordinary in
telligence needs to have the principle
upon which it works elucidated for his
understanding in these days OF wide
ly disseminated dietetic knowledge,
The average person who is not contin-
uously Gin the dumps knows from ex-
perience that laughter is good for di-
gestion. says What to Eat. 1t should
be borne in mind that 'mirth and good
cheer need not express themselves in
convulsive laughter in order to in1u-
ence digestion. An amiable, content
ed, calm and equable temperament has
marked influence upon the digestive
processes without laughter.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
Dental Notice.

DR.. E. E. Cook, dentist, will visit
Glen Haven from Monday noon
until Wednesday noon of each week
and will be at Beetown remainder
of the week. 35tf
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
The Reminder.

Mamma" said Bonnie as there came
brief pause in the conversation on
the part of the callers, ''isn't it time
for you to ask me what l learned at
the kindergarten today? If you don't
10 it pretty soon I'll forget what you
told me to Chicago Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
Pleasant.

"Why does that sentimental Miss
Moody waste her time so with that
worthless young drug clerk?'
"She considers him an ideal lover.
She says it's so comforting to think II
any one should interfere with their love
how easy it would be for him to get the
best poison with which to end their suf-
ferings." -Philadelp Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
A Cheerful Outlook.

been made out yet?
Waiter-No, not yet. The proprietor
says that his ideas seem to come very
slowly today.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
Scotland Insulted.

A highland waiter once refused to
serve Max O'Rell at dinner, and when
reproved explained: Its mo- to be ex-
pected that self respecting Scotsman
could serve him with ceeveelity.
Didn't he say we took to the kilt be-
cause our feet were too large to get
through trousers?' St James Ga
Zette
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
One lie Couldn't Lose.

Peddler-Want to buy an umbrella
cheap, boss?
Merchant-No; what's the use!
Whenever l buy an umbrella some
body steals it.
Peddler-Well this one amt worth
stealing.-E
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
IntrospectiOn.

81 am afraid that young man who is
constantly trying to say bright things
Is cynic."
EYES," answered Miss Cayenne, "and
he's afraid he isn't" -Washington Star.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22

Germany has now secured large
portion of the important jute traffic to
Boulogne, which for many years has
been carried in British ships.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
Plainly Evident.

Bridget" queried Mrs. Scribble, "do
sou know why I am called a literary
woman?"
".Yissum, Oh t'ink Oh do" responded
the mental, with a despairing look at
the rOOm.-HouSton Post.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
VVOuldn't Show.

Mistress Greatly shocked)-Is it pos
sible. Mary, you are making bread
without having washed your hands?
New Girl-Lor', what's the difference.
mum? It's brown bread.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22

Chicago had an attendance of 90
10000 people at her worlds fair, but
st. Louis counts confidently on an at
tendance of 100000.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
A Matter of Time,

"My poem has been accepted" said
the poet, "but I'm in some doubt about
it, as the magazine only pays on publ
tation.'
"Well, when is it published?"
every ntennialv'-Atlanta Consti-
tuition
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
Rreaking Him In.

Anxious Mamma-Why do you keep
George waiting so long when he calls?
Pretty Daughter-I want to get him
used to it by the time we are married.
, Baltimore American.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22

Alpine flowers and plants are so
quickly becoming extinct that strong
measures are to be taken in future
for their preservation.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
None Higher.

"Well," said the gambler as he raised
the pot on a royal flush, Il am certainly
carrying on things with high hand"
Cornell Widow.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
Where the work Came In.

D'Auber-I only got $50 for that
painting.
Friend-Well, you didn't put much
work on it.
D'Auber-What! l guess you never
saw me trying to sell philadelphia
Ledger.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22

V1gor and cheerful
ness soon disappear
when the kidneys are
out of order or dis
eased.
Kidney trouble has
become so prevalent
that it is not uncom-
mon for a child to be
born afflicted with
weak kidneys. IF the
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22

The standing timber of Canada
equals that of the continent of Eu-
rope, and is nearly double that of the
United States.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22

II had diabetes in it's worst FORM" writes
Marion Lee of Dunreatn, Ind II tried eight
physicians without relief Only three bot
ties of Foleys Kidney Cure made me we'll
man.-At Benefits.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
Quick Relief for Asthma Sufferers.

Foleys Honey and Tar affords immediate
relief to asthma sufferers in its worst stages
and if taken in time will effect cure. At
Benefits.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22

A man is at his best when he is at
tending to his own business.-Dallas
News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22

Foley's Kidney Cure will cure all diseases
arising from disordered kidneys or bladder.
At Benefits.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
copyright, 1903, by c. &. Lewis.l

" AYR. BOWSER left for the of
NEs fee the other morning at the
l usual time without hint
that he would be home be-
fore the dinner hour, but shortly be-
fore noon he reappeared carrying a
pot of ready mixed paint and a new
brush. In reply to Mrs. Bowser's look
of inquiry he explained:
when l went out this morning
noticed that the front steps needed
painting, and being it was pleasant
day / thought I'd come home and do
the job"
81 was going to speak about it in
q day or two and ask you to get a
painter" she replied.
"There is no call for a painter. /
got this much paint and this brush for
a dollar and half, and that will be
all the cost. A painter would have
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22
Women as Well as Men Are Made
Miserable by Kidney and
Bladder Trouble.

Kidney trouble preys upon the mind,
7iscouragesa and lessons am ition; beauty,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-08-22

child urinates too often, if the urine scalds
the flesh, or if, when the child reaches an
age when it should be able to control the
passage, it is yet afflicted with bed-wet-
ting, depend upon it, the cause of the diff
Guilty is kidney trouble, aid the first
step should be towards the treatment OF
these important organs. This unpleasant
trouble is due to diseased condition OF
the kidneys and bladder and not to a
habit as most people suppose.
Women as we'll as men are made n1ser-
able with kidney and bladder trouble,
and both need the same great remedy.
The mild and the immediate effect OF
Swamp-ROOt is soon realized. 1t IS sold
by druggists, in fifty fSH~
cent and one-dollar AANE kS Eid z
size bottles. You may
have sample bottle ss l@EG
by mail free, also a Home of swamp-ROOs
pamphlet telling all about Swamp-Root,
including many of the thousands OF test1-
1nonia1 letters received from sufferers
cured. In writing DR.. Kilmer & Co.,
Binghamton, N. Y, be sure and mention
this paper. Don't make any mistake,
but remember the name, Swa1np-Roott,
DIR. Kilmers Swamp-Root, and the adj
dress, Binghamton, N. Y, on every
bottle.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1903-04-23
Commissioners Sale

Under and by virtue Of Q G+..re-
of the Superior Court OF Wayne
County, rendered at the April term.
1908, in an action entitled. ''Addae
Hollowe!l executrix or J asse E Hol-
lowell and Junius Slocumb. t. ustee,
against Caswell A. Smith the under.
signed will sell, for cash. to the high
est bidder, AT the court house door
in Goldsboro. on Monday. tue lst
day of June, 1903, a. - O'Clock N ;,
the following described tracts Of
land in said county, adjoining the
lands of Matthew Brogden, Tb mas
Beard and others, and bounded ~
follows: Beginning at the mouth Cf
Horse branch and runs up Aaid
branch a. It meanders to a hickory.
then n 233 " 149 poles to a licht-
wood stump and post oak down;
then 5 55h w 179 poles to q sake on
the edge Ut the run Of Failing creek,
then up said Greet as il meanders to
he beginning. cont@ining one hun
dred and seventy i've (l75) acres.
more or less Second trscf begin
ming at a black gum, ne~rtbe rus of
Jonas branch AT the ford elai rims
with Boards line = IS E. 48 po e. tn
q stake. Boards corner, then : SIS
E 529 poles to a stake, corner o.
Garrls' fence. thea with his line 80
: 50 poles to a lightwood stuwr:
then s 231 101 poles to q hics !
tree ,7lt4ln two poles of the run
Horse branch, then n 22S poles a., y
stake on the run of Jonas b'a*.~f:
then down said run to tn hes41-
ming. con+aaring sixty-thr+e and
're-thlrd cay hcres Thir9 Tract
~esinning IL Da5h nea~ john
'3-ad'e and runs ) 1?3 SIS poles,
"~u a f3a r 20 poles, .hen = e "
So lo.~e ~ the beginning. rNrtain-
.uR three and one fourth C34) acree:
.lso B tract OF thirteen Ga} acres
conveyed In a d Ell executed by e.
arris and wife TO G A Smith and
corded IN Book No %, pr ga 1876.
All of the above described r cts ad-
! ming each Der and constitute the
act of iant npou which Caswell A
>~ltn resl4ee I'D contains two hun
.Ied and fifty four (254I acres and
j. c.1be6 IL q MORTGAGE deed exc
.lt+so b. - a Sm3ih to Junius
Siocnmo, trnttee. and recorded in
be fife Of he R-g,st r Of Deeds
# ANA ,unty. In 30 K So, page
SO. o VT IN record reference is
.iereDs D, DDS
This 20" ID day of Anril 1898
U'R. ROBINSON,
Commissioner.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1903-04-23

MT. OLIVE

Miss Bell Smith, of Goldsboro, is
visiting relatives here this week.
Miss Lou Blan, of Teacheys, was
visiting the Misses Aaron last week.
Mr.. Fred Pickett, of Magnolia,
was visiting here one day last week.
Mr.. R. Kornegay was combining
business with pleasure in Goldsboro
Monday.
Miss Carrie MCGEE, of G~oldsboro,
is here the guest Of her sister, Mrs.
NJ. T. Breazeale.
Mrs. w. P. Kornegay, after visit
ing relatives for several days at La
Grange, returned home Friday.
The strawberries are beginning to
come in very rapid now, but the crop
is reported short from last year.
DIR. G. F. Herring and Mr.. L. w.
Kornegay, attended a chicken fight
between North and South Carolina
at Wilmington, Friday.
The Jones Brothers have been
busy for the last two weeks putting
in local telephones. Our business
men have decided that they are the
thing they need.
Rev. n. M. Jurney will preach an
Odd Fellows sermon in the Metho-
dist church Sunday April 28th at II
o'clock. The public is cordially in
vited to attend.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1903-04-23
PATETOWN sITEMS.

The Buffalo gnatszhave made their
appearance for the frststime in many
years. They are very numerous IN
these parts.
Cotton plantingIis the order of the
dav. while some are setting out to-
bacco, but others think the "eatner
is most too cool for the latter.
Tax listers Messrs. Lewis 3.
pate and j. M. Stone, were IN Colds
horo On Tuesday in conference with
Corporation Commissioner MCNEIL
of Raleigh,
Mossrs. Chas. McCandlass, d. F.
sasser, G. J. CHM and others are
the committee on the new o nom
this place to the Bennett Combs old
place. This road is a long 1eit Want'
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1903-04-23
GOSSIP.
Paris Looks For a Marriage to Take
Place Soon.

Paris, April 21.-The attentions
which Mr.. Vanderbilt has been pay
ing to Mrs. Rutherford have occa-
stoned gossip here for some time,
and there have been hints that as
0 0 as the order OF the New York
supreme court removing the obstacles
to Mr.. Vanderbilt's remarriage we're
received here they would be married.
These rumors have been heard fire.
quently of late, and they received
strong support during Mr.. Wander
bits visit to London a fortnight ago
and by his constant attentions to
Mrs. Rutherford when she visited
Paris at Easter, accompanied by her
sister-in-law, Mrs. White, and the
iatter's daughter. Mr.. Vanderbilt
was a member of the party at that
time. 1t is not probable that the
wedding will take place in Paris.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1903-04-23
CRUMBS.

Mrs. Polly Davis improves very
slowly, but we hope surely.
Our truckers are busy shipping
peas, but the crop is rather short in
this section.
Mrs. Mary G. Woody and sister
Miss Alice Channer, of Guilford Col
lege, r visiting relatives in this
section.
Prof. John w. Woody, of Guilford
College, arrived at home last week
from a two years tour to the East.
He visited Egypt, Palestine and sew
eral other countries. He reported an
enjoyable voyage.
Genoa, April 81.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1903-04-23
Notice Of Sale For Taxesl

By virtue of the power vested in me as Tax
Collector of Buck Swamp and Pikeville town
ships. notice is hereby given that have this
day levied on the real and personal property
of the persons named below. and will sell
same at public auction. at the court house door
in Goldsboro. N. c., on Saturday. May 9. 1903,
at II O'Clock m. to satisfy unpaid taxes and
costs and expenses thereon, unless the
amounts SO due are paid before sale.
E. L. PEELE,
Tax Collector Buck Swamp and Pikeville
townships,
This A nril O 1QO2