New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-05-15
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Alonzo Weed, tramp, has been elected Mayor
Of Amesville Ohio. a joke, and now the people
of Amesville can't see the joke AInesvilIes elec-
ton promised to be a tame affair. as there was
only one candidate IN the field. The day belore
the polls opened the hobo waited into town. and
some one nominated him as joke. Others TOOK
it I'D and voted for him, so when the ballots were
counted 1t was found that the hobo and real can
didate had each received Il votes. They tossed up
for the lob, and the tramp won NOW AmesVllle
has taken the matter to the Governor.
THE BUSY MANS LUNCHEON.
How does the busy man lunch7
He PUSHES into quick-iunch room,
That turks in the hasty bill Of fare
Dispensed to the reckless eaters there:
He works his way to the crowded par
the Of f pae s aIapq KNIFE fes
Proceeds to shorten his busy He
He grabs sandwich Of ancient date
And shoves It between his thumb and plate.
OF eggs he seizes on one or two
That are boiled SO hard The the whites are due
Then a bowl OF coffee ecalding hot.
And he backs away with what he's got
And hurrfes the combination down
With gulp and gasp and impatient frown-
Again he goes to the fatal pile.
fTetting and woT5ying all sns the Eh by
He captures piece Of stuff fa, called s1 pie
It is all right you want to die
Swallows the whole as quick as he
on to of ice Water 9' and he's done.
And back to his Office on the run
How does the busy man feel'
He is very, very much depressed.
He feels as though 10 is all l., oo nps
He has something he can't explain,
He knows it's there for he feels the pain;
A9 eq t fa thing he has w" weighs ike fright
He drags around from morning to night
ball and chain on his appetite
He sees q doctor and states his cass
The doctor, noting his pal1id face,
Gives him the limit. The man goes back
baltimore American.
1.-THE Sydney Telegraph" says that by the New
South Wales old age pension system new class
OF State dependence has been created. involving
an annual expenditure Of alarming proportions.
without relieving existing charitable institutions
tn sny apurecahIe extent The act, 1t is said, has
tended to encourage imposition and actual fraud.
besides loosening ties of kinshp and weakening
moral obligation"
.see here young man. said the minister. you
never paid me that fee for marrying you"
you're mighty lucky haven't sued you for dam
ages"-CTit-Bits.
The dome of the Capitol at Washington is being
natnted Every FIVE years its coat is renewed and
Is 900 gallons Of white lead are used IN the process
The work is being done by eighteen men, under
the direction of Billy Lewis and ZAP Ports. The
latter
capttol for thirty-nine years. Ports Is the only
man who ever climbed to the top Of the statue Of
Liberty surmounting the dome. He did this on
Labor pay 1894 and fastened garland of electric
light bulbs around the neck of her majesty.
THE HOUSEWIVES OMAR
Come clean the House, although this Rite of
Spring
From Cook and Housemaid sudden Warning bring:
They're certain to give Notice. anyway,
For Wages rise-and they on the Wingi
Whether in Boston or in Binghamton.
Whether the House be lax or Strictly run.
The Cook has Tempers every day or two,
The Housemad breaks the Teacups one by one
Each Ship a hundred Brtdgets brings, you say,
Yes-but where lives the Cook OF Yesterday
And this new age that brings the sullen Swede
Sweeps the old Family Treasure quite away.
The Girl gains Schooling. WITHSTAND having writ
Moves up-not all your wages or your wit
She will not do Plain Housework-not a Bill
The Eaght-Hour Plan some set their Hearts upon
Turns Ashes, even with Millionaires. anon.
Maids by the Day refuse the Evening Task,
And when the Caller rings the Bell are gone
An old-time Cookbook. simpler far than now
A Loaf of Homemade Bread. no Fuss, no Row,
But Bridget singing she cleans the Sink
Oil such a Home were Paradise enowi
7 sonetirnes think how Wonderfully Good
Wafffes would taste instead OF Breakfast Food.
And how the Clothes would last II washed at
But what's the use of such a yearning Mood7
Yet make the most OF Maids to-day-the End
May be that ServantIess, shall descend
TO dwell In huge Cooperative Plants,
Sans Privacy. sans Hope, sans Homes to tend
All, Bridget, fill the Coffee Cup that clears
To-day, at least, OF Domestic Fearsi
To-morrowl-NIaid and Mistress both may be
Swept from the Path of tho Progressive Yearsi
Life.