Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-01-31
ANECDOTES FROM ANYWHERE.


When anybody mentions the Vene-
zuelan squabble to James w. Alexan-
der, president of the Equitable Life AS
suranc society, he occasionally tells
about two men, Jones and Robinson,
who got into a discussion OF the Mon
roe doctrine.
1T heard you didn't believe in the
Monroe doctrine said Jones.
It's q malicious lie" responded Rob-
inson. Eve always believed In 1t. The
only thing I ever said about II was that
1 didn't know just what 1t cant"
:::::
A capital story is told of M of the
Oldest practitioners at the Erie coun-
ty, Pennsylvania, bar. He was argu-
Ing a motion at a neighboring county
seat and, as 1t sometimes happens, was
depending more upon his own sound
logic than upon authorities for success.
At q critical juncture the Judge inter-
rupted the speaker with this inquiry:
yes, 1 understand; but where are your
authorities upon the subject?" IF
your honor please" retorted our friend,
briskly, Il will explain the absence Of
authorities, with our permission, by
telling q little story. A young man
freshly admitted to practice had pro-
duced in court in support OF a motion
a wealth of authorities. After allow
ing the young man to read page upon
page of dry decisions, the Judge at
length interrupted YEARLY, You are
just beginning to practice said he;
let me give some advice. 1t does very
we'll to cite authorities nee in a while,
but you must always trust somewhat
! to the common sense of the court"
1t was a bold, almost audacious posi-
ton to take, but 1t won the old lawyer
his case.
::::
pVae - gaI1 noH,a Y ~ fba DhI1oIaI-
phia politician, II still contend that in
the old days the Pennsylvania legisla-
ture beat the world, including this con-
gresS of yours.
"Once, when Curtin was governor, he
had a fight with the senate. At the close
of the session the usual committee was
appointed to wait on the governor n
inform him of the impending adjourn
ment and ask If there was anything
further he wanted The chairman of
that committee was n senator who had
a slight impeachment In his speech. The
committee went to the governors office
and came back, and the chairman
marched down In front of the prest-
dents desk and made this verbal re-
port:
"'Mr. President-Your c-c-commit-
tee appointed to wait on the g-g-g-gov-
ernor and inform him of the impending
end OF this s-s-session has performed
that office and the g-g-g-governor said
he didadidn't care a d-d-urn.'"
$50:
Down In Lexington, KY, we are
very proud of our fellow-townsman,
James Lane Allen" said Colonel W. G.
z. Breckenridge. Recently 1 met him
in New York. l had sent him part of
a case of peach brandy presented to
me by n of the old-line Kentucky
distillers.
az am delighted with the gift he
said smilingly. L hope you will accept
in return some cor of my works
which I will sign OF course 1 was
charmed, and he went on. Which
would you like?'
Now, for the life Of me / could not
recall the title of a single book the man
had written, although l have read them
all. 1 stood there n stared at him,
Then, by the grace of providence, In
the midst of my embarrassment, I heard
my own voice. 1t said:
81 want the one you like the best,
Mr.. Allen
1T saved me. I never saw a man SC
pleased. I will send you a Kentucky
CARDINAL he said-and l went on my
way feeling like a man who awakes
from a falling dream"
Assistant District Attorney Osborne
Of New York enjoys the &C.
quaintances of a host Of news
paper men and thoroughly enjoys
a joke at the expense of one Of the
craft. Here is a story he tells, but he
declines to give the name Of the man
who had died suddenly from what, the
report said, was supposed to be uric
acid poisoning.
THE report reached a certain news.
paper office. n the man at the desk
at once called up the papers police re.
porter and said:
Say, a man up on the West Side is
reported dead by the coroner. Pois.
oned with uric acid is the cause stated
Go up to Umpty-ump West Blankety
street and see about 1t. Maybe he got
the poison by mail. 1t looks like another
MolineuX case"