davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
A LITTLE NONSENSE.

"Pop, what is a famine,?'' "a fam
inc, my son, is "a strenuous cure for in.
digestion. "-Yonkers Statesman.
There Are Others.-Mrs. Wise tread
ing)-'I see by this that the emperor
OF Japan has ten. men to carry his
umbrella" Mr.. WISE That's moth
ing. Iguess 20 men have carried mine. y
Detroit Free Press.
Enough Said. stShe amt at home,
sor," said the new maid, returning
from the floor above. Are you sure
of that?" demanded Mr.. De Trop, sus-
piciously. Faith, Oh am not, but she
seems to be. s-Philadelphia Press. =
Husband ..Are you aware, my dear,
that it takes three-fourths of my sal
airy to meet your dressmaker's bills -
e-'Goodness, gracious! what do
you do with all the rest of your nom
Sey r.? 2 s London Tit Bits.
Indirect Way.-.I hear Meterman
sat out in a rainstorm writing q spring
ode.' Eyes, and made $1O.' Then
he sold the poem?'' mo, he caught
severe cold, used patent remedy
and then sold "a testimonial to the man
ufacturers. Chicago Daily News.
A Terrible Test.-ssI should like to be.
sure that he is truly deyoted to me-"
said the. sentimental girl. You want
to put his affection to some crucial.
test p 81 do" f..II. cts have him come
around some morning and see you in
wrapper and curl papers. Washing
ton Star.
Paying the Pena lty.7rMr. Workhardd
My dear. / have lost my situation,
and it just happens that I haven't TIA
dollar ahead. We must go to the poor
house for dinner Mrs. w Surely
some of the grocers with whom we
have dealt for SO many years will trust
u.s." Mr.. W (sadly) mo, / have
no credit anywhere. always paid
cash. IN. Y. Weekly. ts..s3,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18

newspaper the next morning, together
with an interview with Inspector Nc
Clusky, said: well, that is good
thing" But. the .avera gesaitizen thinks
| no further of the incident. AS matter
of fact the thieves than leave New York
under such orders are comparatively
few. It is likely that out Of the 400 told
to get out rs or 80 will actually do SO,
but it will be only to move to some other
large city. The professional thief,
whether he be a pickpocket, q "strong-
arm man." porch climber. . forger,
or one OF the many other varieties, can
only exist in the cities. He finds there
is nothing for him to do in the country
or the villages. As for the thieves who
apparently obeyed the orders Of the
chief of detectives, they were undoubt-
edly intending to leave town anyway,
as their business-if we may call it
that-necessitates rambling life. Az
Tor tfesre one who knows this class
of gentry" may take stroll any
pleasant afternoon down the Thieves
highway known in the city directory as
the Bowery, and there he will see near,
~ all the old-time faces that have dec
GRATED the "rogue's gallery, deSig-
mated in the yernacu1ar as the Hall Of
Fame"-for many years. y ii
II I, wante 10 find any particulsr-
New York thief, for ms stance, I know
certain person whom could locate in
a Pen street saloon and he would reach,
my man for me in short order. Thieves
are classed according to the work they
do, like trad esmen:3 A man who makes
his living nteripg houses by means Of
porches would Be as unable to get
dollar by picking pockets as he would
by silk weaving. On the other hand
pickpocket could not keep from star
wing to death it he had to go to sand
bagging. Not only do they do their
work in classes, but they live in classes.
So if the thief wanted to find were q
'.strong-arm gun" or highwayman, my
man in Pen street would look for him
at once in the Cherry Hill district. If
he were d burglar he would live in
Chrystie street, and so it would be with |
all the different grades. 49,
But Inspector McClusky's order,
while it has not had the effect Of driv-
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
LIFE OF AN ANT QUEEN.
Within Artificial surroundings the
Insect Lives to the Age OF
Fourteen Years.

How long may an ant queen live?
In their natural habitat some queens
doubtless have short lives but bf rea-
son Of the protectionsaff orded them,
and the seclusion enforced by the work
ers, they probably live much longer
than other members of the commune
ty. Within artificial SURF undings they
attain comparatively long life. The
oldest emmett queen known to science
was one preserved under the. care Of
Sir John Lubbock, late Lord Avebury
writes H. c., McCook, in Harper's Mag
azine. A number OF years ago during a
visit to this distinguished naturalist 1t
his country seat, High Ems, Kent, the
writer for the first time saw this VEN
cradle sovereign, diving in the ingen-
ious artificial formicarys which had
been prepared for her. She was then
in the prime of life, as it afterward ap-
peared, being seven years old.
In the summer of 1887. Sir John was
again visited, this .time at his town
house in London. After greeting, he
was asked about his royal pet.
II have sad news to tell you," he an
swered.
''What? Is the queen dead ?"
"She died only yesterday. have not
had the heart to tell the news as yet
even to my wife"
Having offered my hearty condo
lence, | asked to see the dead queen.
Sir John Led the way to the room where
his artificial nests were kept. The
glass case which contained the special
formicary in which the old ant had
lived was opened up. Lying in one Of
the larger open spaces or rooms was
the dead queen. She was Surrounded
BY crowd Of workers, who were ten
derby licking her, touching her with
their antennae and making other
demonstrations as if soliciting her at
tention, OF desiring to wake her out of
sleep. Poor dumb, loving, faithful
creatures! There was no response.
Their queen mother lay motionless be-
meath their demonstrations.
"They do not apepar to have discov-
cred that she is really dead, " remarked
Sir John. Afterward he wrote me OF
another queen which died at the age
IF IA. The ants dragged her body
about with them when they moved un-
III it fell to pieces
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
Alive, Hut Legally Ds.d.

A queer question of law arises in an
Alabam ma county. Two weeks aro,
runs the stery, negro was hanged for
murder In due process. The body wa.
cut down and pronounced dead by the
physicians attending, and was then
turned over to the relatives, who took
1t away. They observed signs Of life in
it, whereupon q physician was called
in, who applied restoratives, and the
man came back to his former exist
ence, in which he now abides in health
and strength. The question is wheth.
er the law can again lay hands upon
him for that crime, since officially he
has paid the legal penalty. and stands
as dead in the legal records of tho
case. At any rate, nothing has been
done looking to his rearrest.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
KING AND BARBED WIRE.
emit That Has . Highly In.
structive Moral.

Being out on his bike one day for q
spin, the, king came across peasant
who was stretching wires from post to
post by the roadside, relates the Bos.
ton Globe. Never having seen tele.
phone line of that make before his
majesty paused and asked:
'Prithee, son of toll but what sort
OF machine do you call this?"
'tSure, but it's barbed wire fence,
your highness," was the answer. .sThat
is to say, the wires have chin whiskers
on them at intervals OF foot"
'And what's the object?'
ITO keep stray cows out Of the
field. When they run up again the
whiskers they stop in surprise"
Il dunno about that" unused the
king in doubtful tones. "I'm no cow.
but think I could go through that
fencing a-kiting. I've run oversa about
everything in Persia up to this date,
and I guess I'll try your whiskered
fence. just stand aside while I play a
tune Oh those wires.
ITS my duty to warn your blessed
majesty that bit Of establishment is
waitin' for somebody" protested the
peasant.
Its for you, probably. Look out for
splinters when / strike"
The ruler of all Persia and boss Of
the sun and moon mounted his bike
and took little turn up the road to
get start, and then he came down
like runaway car with broken brakes
and uttered whoop as he struck the
fence.
An hour later, when he opened his
eyes, he was clawing grass in the next
county, and the peasant was patiently
waiting to see il his neck was broken.
II remember al, !" said his majesty.
as he sat up, land there's no need Of
your going into explanations. In tell
ing you that I was no COW to be stopped
by q whiskered fence, didn't think of
asses. now correct the oversight and
will limp home, and it will be just as
well for you thatfhe brotherly feeling
between us continues and you keep
your. mouth shut"
Moral-Things mayno be what they
seem, but it is better to take it for
granted that they are and pass on.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
PERSONAL AND 1MpERsoNAL.

John Sargent, the famous portrai1
painter, has morbid dread of pub
Lefty. For 20 years he resisted al
efforts of photographers to get hin
in front of a camera and only con
sented recently because a fake pic
ture printed in an eastern newspaper
has been extensively copied. Even
then the picture made him look &c
years older than his age. It is not
believed that he ever consented to
be interviewed.
A lot of young fellows in an Ohio
town had good time with q tramp
recently. They took him into shed,
gave him good bath, shaved him and
cut his hair. They then bought new
suit of clothes, white shirt and stand
up collar and dressed him out COM
plete. But when they attempted to
burn his hobo clothes he objected and
fought for them with such despera-
ton their suspicious were aroused
and upon searching they found $1,40O
sewed up in the coat.
The Paris Correspondent prints q
selection of Emperor William utter
ances with a view to portraying him
as he sees himself. Il am your en-
peror,"' he once said to the Germans,
by an immutable decree of God. !"
Again: what require of my peo-
pie is a fidelity that never wavers."
''The assertion of an emperor must
not be disputed" "Frightful was the
time, bitter were the years before
Germany had an emperor To a
gathering of German bishops he said:
Regard me as the intermediary be-
tween you and Germany's ancient
God"
It has almost passed into proverb
that physicians and lawyers are con-
stantly being asked for advice by ac-
quaintances in the course of ordinary
conversation. A medical man having
a downtown Office says that at So
cial gathering recently a wealthy
woman of his acquaintance asked
him with every appearance Of inno-
cence how long babies should be al
lowed to sleep. Refusing to rise to the,
familiar bait, the doctor answered,
quietly: I'm just the same way as
short babies should be allowed to
sleep" Then he bowed and moved
away, leaving the lady with an un-
usual flush on her face.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
FULFiLLMENT.



Hating II yon apple tree,
Pouring forth his passion song
In flood of ecstasy.
Heart! Dear heart of love-" cried.
"You shall yet be satisfied"
Later-with his gentle mate
Nesting In contentment there
Misunderstanding how to wait
Busy. glad. expectant pair!
s'Hearts. Dear hearts Of love-" said !.
twill be better by and by"
Later came hungry brood.
Clamoring for constant food.
Hard-worked parents-braye. distressed
With no time for needed rest!
Patient hearts, with love sublime.
Twill be easier sometime"
Blessed future! ever feaught
With the hope Of better things.
When the Joy our hearts have sought.
Shall approach on shining wings!
Sweet fulfillmeny-far or nigh
We shall grasp It by and by!
Frank A. Brock. in Youth 8 Companion.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
The Femintne view.

Man wants but little here below"
sighed the aimless man with the baggy
trousers.
what man wants. said the square
jawed mother-in-law of the party
aforesaid, lis woman to set him an
example in the art Of getting mq1e
On himself. Chicago Daily News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
The bright Light Of 1905.

Bobbie Observation-Disclosures,
antiquity Of electricity.
Prof. Seedy-This is indeed inter-
esting, Mr.. Sophomore; in fact, high
ly important to scientists. May I
ask the source OF your information?
Bobbie Sophomore read last
night that Noah made an arc light on
Mount Ararat.-N. Y. Times.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
THIEVES AND, THUGS.
They Form a Community Of Their
Own in New York.
Head OF Detective Bureau Says That
''Get-Rich-Quick" Men Are the
Most Dangerous OF Con-
Adence Men.
Especial New York Letter.l

NyHEN Inspector McClusky, head
w of the detective bureau of
New York, issued his warning
to 400 thieves the other day to
leave the city the question natural
~ arose: where will they go?"
The police dragnets were spread and
the men were arrested and arraigned
in the police courts They were told
that tho only condition of their free
dom was that they were to leave the.
town. Every man arrested promised
to do SO and all were released.
The average citizen of New York
who read this announcement in his
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18

The Doctor You have bad cold,
Mr.. Jggs. Ill give you some pills
for it.
Jiggs-Oh, never mind, doctor. You
can have ii for nothing Harvard
Lampoon.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
prixht Outlook for Rexxie.

Old Gentleman (near-sighted)-
Who is that stranger coming up tho
walk, daughter?
Daughter Why, that is Reggie,
papa! You know I told you he was
coming to speak to you to-day.
''Ah, yes; see now. Don't you
know. at first I thought it was Q
man. Cleveland Leader.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18

Inc hood at 1hnstown Pa which occurred May 3d. 1885, prob
ably kind
caused the breaking
by the South
rode headong
flood
of Johnown killed people,
contributing to
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
DEMONSTRATIONS oue.tio...

What is the use Of trying to settle all
these industrial problems, asks the
Chicago Record-Herald, before the
sweet girl graduate reads her cGm-
mencement essay3
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18

Most of US like to be deceived now
an den. If we found all men honest
we'd hev SO little to kick about dat
life would be monotonous.-Detroi&
Free Press
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
Perfect Eliss.

$50 Madge is to be married. ]
hope she will be happy"
"Of course she will She's going
to have wedding gown from Paris. .
Chicago American.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18

A prominent club woman,
Mrs. Danforth, Of St. J0sepl
Mich, tells how she was cure
Of falling Of the womb and n
accompanying pains.
Life looks dark indeed when
woman feels that her strength Is san
ping away and she has no hopes q
ever being restored. Such was M.
feeling few months ago when
was advised that my poor health W.
caused by prolapsus or falling Of thG
womb. The words sounded like r
knen to me, I felt that my sun had sety
but Lydia p. Pinkham,s Vecoa
table Compound came to me as r.
elixir Of life; it restored the loaS
forces and built me mp until nv rood
health returned to me-. For fnnI
months took the medicine daily NJ
each dose added health and strenrth.|
i am 50 thankful for the heln q
obtained through its use.r- NM
ELoRESoE DANFoRrH, 1907 Miles Ave-
ST. 81, Josepn, Mich 5000 to.sh 4 o,,sfnais
The record Of Lydia +. Pink.
ham. sIVegetable Compound can
not be equalled by any off,eps
medicine in the world.
FREE MEDICAL ADVICE 70 WOMENs|
Women would save time ant
much sickness If they wonlIS
write to Mrs. Pinkham. IvnnI
Mass, for advice as SOON "a om1i
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18

lBiohnson-s.Will you lend me W
lawn mower?" Bjackson - Yes, Il yo41
cut my grass to pay for the uss Of IT,
Somerville journal. Nh
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18

Always look for this Trade Marx: ~
Kiean. Kool Kitchen Kind. The STOW
without smoke, ashes or heat. MAKE co
Portable cooking.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18

Bings-' Sparks is quite spr1nter, e
hear. Bangs Yes, ne cant De DeaS
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18

She-.My parrot says some awfua
clever things. He-"And who taught
to talk z" She-'Oh, / did. -Londe!
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18

Do not believe Piso's Cure for Consum
ton has an equal for coughs ana coies -
F. Boyer, Trinity Springs, Ind, rep. ID -
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18

ss4 stops the Cough
and works off the cold. Laxative bfol
Quinine Tablets Price % cents
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18

An apt quotation is as good - an cfj1
nal remark. Chicago journal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
-. ~, 81. 1aentiaes rA;..

- -. rdentfhe4 Thss. =
The W. centric characters
Vns o. liz waa Eliza Ann MfCIesy
She kept museum ~nsi
to the spectators; 70 two smal fgurl
One day' po'A
she sad: 800. ,.ke notice OF these
Now, frlena n..sar the other bruts
4 ures; one y o,h;cb q which. M
I've iorg Ell me e which Of these !
Llzzle te Wuthss Companion.
slowed. ). 1Vo.der.
85 49,. poods Md, june 4otl5
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
Another Break.

Father--Which is it?
Nurse-A boy,
Little Ruth-There! I knew you'd
get the order wrong. You promised
me little ster.-Erooklyn Life.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-07-18
Plensy Of Change.

Doctor-You need change Of eli
mate.
Patient-No, ] don't. I've lived in
Chicago all my life.-chicago Amer.
lean.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-03-20

Amateurs very frequently fall into the error If making a dupucate =,
po'ure i oe plate' tn resutb being that the plate contains two photographs
oe me ooscurng the other, while the next plate is left bare. This results
~ Tie spUmng OF TWO plates, and what might have been two excellent mega
1--WE II they had lot been crowded upon the sam plate lost entirely.
Just OF TIT M Is TIT bane of most mateurs. In order TO secure a clear
negative the ems must be kept perfectly clean. Dust accumulates readily ON
1--WE reveal III presence In damp weather too, care must be taken to keep
u me ems cear o moisture o. a dimness of outline will. be perceived or the
ctufe taken. Either dust or mist on a lens will tend to fog a plate as the
Ign Is uneveny difused from the exposed surface of the dust particle O.
gloDue, N unless the matter is looked after frequently during a seasons
work trouble is apt to ensue.
simple Blocking out-A method Of doing this very conveniently, quickly
Wu-H only a few copies re wanted-efectvelv, ia the following which
mas pen published otter before, and has met with quite In unde@rved
II rdcule A candle is the simplest thing to use or the purpos
ot sui better is a piece Of camphor. This is lit, and as it burns the smoke
ron IL Is allowed to deposit itself all over the glass side Of the negative In
MS way a very n coating of carbon, black and OPAQUE ~ De got with
a nHie skill in holding the negative, and when ono this has been done the
est is easy. Ihose parts which it is desired shall print III are carefully
WIPE owe 10 remove tn SCOT the other portions being left covered with it.
~ N' OF COURSE necessary to be careful lest the black should be touched with
ue myers anywhere wheref it is intended it shall remain. Is the slightest
QUO Will remove it, and when this has been done there is nothing for If
ot TO g over the whole thing again, giving the plate another coating oft the
ooI IL mere Is any fine work to be done in rubbing out, such as round
thHney p%s, rec n similar outlines. a camePsh hair brush. lust slightly
aamped viii be found to be very useful. 1t must be constantly wiped, or.
instead OF removing ne carbon altogether, it will only shift it from me par
to ENTHUSIASTICALLY.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-03-20
Gave Good Advice.

A distinguished Paris physician was
attracted by the hollow cough Of an
old rag-picker whom he found plying
his trade on n damp November day in
a subusb of the gay capital. "Ah! my
poor friend" he said, that is a bad
cough, a very bad cough. You should
pass the winter In the south Of France
and, to avoid the dust and fatigue of a
railway journey, I advise you to travel
In your own carriage"
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-03-20

covers a head of uncombed hair, while
the calico slip that takes the place Of
a dress hangs in loose folds about a
shapeless form; and these same
squaws, who refuse to talk English,
could gracefully dance their taper fin
gers over the ivories Of a piano, pro-
duclng strains Of music that would
make many bellies Of eastern social cir
cles envious; and the dusky young
man who once completed a course in
the law school receiving high praise
from the government officials when he
delivered In polished English an adj
dress upon modern training, now folds
the long blanket about his stalwart
body as he treads stealthily around
the wigwam village granting mo
savy." At this stage the wayward
children become subjects under the
protecting wings of the United States
Indian agent, who vainly strives to
make them become honest and natur-
allied.
These Indians entertain queer ideas
about disposing of the dead. The
Ponca graveyard is located in a desc
late out Of the way place heal the
Saltfork River, which plows through
the reservation. Here for years past
the old war horses have beer laid to
rest, receiving from their tribesmen a
farewell blessing of Godspeed upon
their journey to the happy hunting
ground. Lumber was issued at the
agency for the purpose Of building
houses, two by seven feet, which rep
resent the tomb. After the house ia
completed each member Of the tribe
Is on hand to assist in wrapping the
lifeless body Of the dead brave In a
government blanket, poke it gently
Into the door of the little house. The
key Is then turned In the lock and
there is one Indian less. The relatives
place about the houses old pieces of
furniture, pipes, t%omahawks and little
rinkets that belonged to the departed.
Several dishes filled with different
kinds OF food are set near the door.
which Is very pleasing to the taste of
the fowls and prairie wolves, who pay
the sacred place nightly visits. The
food Is replaced for three days. as they
claim that 1t requires that length Of
time for.the brave to reach the happy
hunting ground, and without refresh
ments he would be unable to make the
journey.
Ii 1t Is a oma that dies the sisters
OF the tribe run a foot race to see whit
is to become owner Of the belongings.
When n buck gives up the ghost a
horse race for a distance Of two miles
Is run and the first man out takes DOS
of the dead mans poles.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-03-20
Tact.

The wise lawyer adapts himself ia
the jury more than the evidence. An
illinois man cites his W case as an
illustration. The evidence was con-
elusive, the law was on his side, and
when the attorney arose to address the
jury, he thought he had the case won.
He briefly reviewed the evidence, sta.
ted the law in the case, and was about
to close his argument, when he noticed
that one of the jury, a stolid old farmer.
did not seem to be with him. The
other ieleven men had already decided
the case in their own minds, but the
farmer was both stupid and obstinate.
The lawyer went over the case again,
trying all sorts Of arguments, but the
FARMER preserved his stupid stare.
Then the attorney tried a new tack. He
repeated his argument until he came
to a place where the opposing lawyer
had made an egregious error, and then
he leaned Over to the old farmer and
said:
"And there, my friend, that's where
he dropped his watermelon"
The old farmer laughed outright, and
from that moment the case was won.