Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-03-21
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Sarcastic: Guest-Waiter. bring me
beefsteak. \ real large one, as my
eyesight is very poor.-Ex.
Economical Robbie: do you say
your prayers every night, Robbie?--
NO; some nights l don't want any
thing" FIX
Yeast-''It's hard to keep good man
down" Crinsonbeak-"T why
they put such heavy monuments over
some of them, l suppose, "-Yonkcrs
Statesman.
Softleigh-Are you quite sure Miss
Banks is not in? The Maid-Of course
am. She gave me one of your photo
graphs in order To make me doubly
sure.-Chicago Daily News.
Bryan still seems to think he's very
much like Thomas Jefferson" And
so he is" NONSENSE" Fact The
only difference is that Jefferson is
buried. Philadelphia Press.
Mrs Upjohn What beautiful floors!
How do you keep them so nicely pol
ished?" Mrs. Gaswell giving her the
icy glarel-"I don't. l leave that to
the housemaid. -Chicago Tribune.
Lawyer-"Have you ever seen the
prisoner at the barr" Witness-"No.
sir; but l have seen him many times
when strongly suspected he had been
at it.'-Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
Mrs. Watts Trumps- yes, we
had a delightful time. We played
cards the whole evening. Mr.. Watts
played between the anecdotes.-Tit-
Bits.
Lady Caller to old family servant
Wei, Bridget. did Master Arthur shoot
any tigers in India? Bridget--O
coorse he did Shure we have the
horns Of the craychurs hung in the
| hall,-punch
Progressing She-"How's the motor
car getting on, Sir Charles?" He
/ "Well. fact is. I've seen very little Of
| it. You see, I've only had it three
months. and when it isn't in the hospi-
| tai. am. Punch.
IF you kiss me again. sir. l shall call
my mother Whats the use of thatT'
said Chollie FreShe; you know I'd
prefer to kiss you, and, besides, your
father might object 10 my kissing the
old lady. Baltimore Herald
\ Vision of Bliss Rastus All
dreamed oh hcaben las night Zeke
Am dat so? An what did it look
like" Rastus-"A monstus big chick
en- roose in de middle oh a watermil-
lion patch"-San Francisco Bulletin.
Subbubs-We've got q new girl q;
our house. BacklotZ-Hah, It's easy
enough TO get a new girl, but can you
keep her? Subbubs The doctor thinks
SO. He declares she weighs nine
pounds at Philadelphia Press
blessed sleep: "Supposing you
woke up some day and found yourself
a millionaire -what'd you do?" Go
right to sleep again. 50 that the knock
Ing of the tax assessors on the door
wouldn't annoy me-" Baltimore Her
aid.
Satisfied Quite.-Neryous old Lady
Il hope your horse is quiet. cahman.
What's She laying back her ears like
that for-look," Cnbby tcompIaccntlyl
oh that's only her feminine curiosi.
| ~, mum. She likes to hear where she's
a-goin' to- TitBits.
Willy John Was Absent The follow
( ing brief but explicit telegram was
sent from a nearby State to Georgia
recently: Reason John didn't git
home fer Christmas wuZ-he stopped
in a hotel fer the first time in his life,
an blowed out the gas. Atlanta Con
/ stitution.
Talent What's this? Lost. a
house dog; liberal reward will be
paid for his return" Why, man.
there's your dog out in the yard this
moment Gilfore-Y Yes; somcbody'll
come along ana steal him as soon as
that advertisement gets about. Dos
ton Transcript
Scribbicr - "Confound it. Maria.
didn't toll you not to let the baby
touch anything on my desk" His
/ Wlfe-"Well. you know / can't watch
/ her all the time Has she done any
/ mischief ScribbIer-"I should say
she mas. She's written a historical
/ novel Judge.
Public spirit rewarded: II see Sbon-
/ son is assessed twice as much on his
perso al property as he was last year"
YES: the assessor found out he was
the only man living in the block that
paid anything for having the street
! sprinkled last summer. and we s0cked
/ II 10 him. Chicago Tribune.
II see it's become so windy on the
| corner where the Flatiron Building
/ has been erected In New York that
sometimes people are blown off their
! feet" How humiliating IT must be
( for a New Yorker 10 be carried off his
/ feet by anything that doesn't come
from Europe, Chicago Record Her