The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-06-24
UNCLE MING0 ON
THE COTTON CROP.
BY VIM. T. Williams.

The waiter looked over the morning
paper while Uncle Mingo was conscien-
tiously occupied in surrounding a con-
siderable quantity of breakfast.
Il notices." remarked the waiter dey
has been habin all sorts OBJ a time cen
! de cotton market lately. Dem wot's
been buyin it mus be gittin' rich fas'."
"An' dem wot's sellin' it, gittin still
mo- po'er dan dey was befo'," said I'm
Gle Mingo.
Nobody amt got no business to sell
nothin' wots goin' up said the waiter
philosophically. II tell you, Uncle, you
say de udder day you would rudder be
editor. Wot l wants to be is a cot
ton spectator, bull an bear.
"Yestidday l was riden' roun' de belt
on de street car an wen we pass be-
TO de Cotton Exchange, 1 looks an l
says to myself, says I, OATS Were de
moneyed mems hangs out. Dere was a
bunch o dem standin' talkin outside
de do, an l says to myself, says 1,
denis de chaps 1 would like to be-
Dat show how little bit you don't
know" said Uncle Mingo. 'I bet you,
If de troot was known dat bunch o.
fellersi wot you see talkin' outside de
do was 'spectin' 'mongs' deirself witch
one had de price to go cross de street
an set up de beer. AS dey say cen
Latin, parens es decetus, witch means
appearances is deceitful -
Anyhow" said the waiter, IT wants
to be speckelator. 1 tink cotton is
boun' to go still mo- higher, an 1 is
goln' to sabe up all de money 1 kin, an
soon as 1 gifts sufficient enough, 1 is go
IN to git one O. dem fel1ers wot know
r0naS hJIx me- II
bull, won't T."
NO" said Uncle Mingo, you'll be
a Jackass. You. won't stan no mo-
chance dan a cracklin' would STAN cen
de bad place outside de fryin' pan.
You wouldn't no mo sooner glib de
teller your little roll an tell him to
buy, an get on de car an ride back
to de hashery tinkin' how rich you is
goin' to be day after to-morrer, an
git eenside de do an heng up your hat
an put on your apron, befo' you would
| De ring up ober de telephone, an YOU
would be toll dat de market done gone
again you; dat you was done close
out, an dat you owe eleben hundred
an sixteen dollars mo-, an wot mus
dey do?"
"Gee!" exclaimed the waiter. "as
quick as dat? Den l lows l better
stay out ontell tings gifts mo- set
tied"
Yes, you BETTER said Uncle Mingo.
"or udderwise tings won't take VERY
long to settle you"
''Howsomebber." said the waiter, ode
crop news is so bad dat I don't see
how de market kin keep from goin' UP
seben or eight cents mo- How is de
crop out to Postum Hollow"
Mighty po', said Uncle Mingo; scot
ton don't seem to be dom much De
crop is way short"
Bout how much short OBJ las year,
you reckon?"
Well" said Uncle Mingo, medita-
lively. ito be exac', 1 should say not
less dan two hundred an forty per
cent. short OBJ las year; maybe mo-.
1t don't seem to be a good year for
cotton, nohow Out cen Texas 1 sees
dey is habin' a whole lot O. trouble
wild de boil weebils already, wen de
cotton is jis' start to grow So l lows
to myself dat if de boil weebils is gibin'
so much trouble so soon befo' dere is
any bolls for dem to weebil cen, wot
mus dey do after de bolls come"
It's like de caterpillars cen dis
country. A town Teller was ridin'
roun' lookin' at de crops de udder day.
Well, he say, 4 see de cotton is com
in up. but l nebber see SIGH fences
like you all got roun' here; dey is all
full O. moss
'Moss!' say de farmer; dem amt
moss, denis caterpillars.'
'Caterpillars!' say de Teller: wy
wots dey dom down here so soon?'
'Jis' a settin' on de fence say de
farmer, 'waitin' for de cotton to
grow -