davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

porium, in his Shirt Sleeves, holding q
public Levee.
He was quiet Josher and knew
lot of good Jokes that he had once
heard in Minstrel Show at Columbus,
Ohio, and that made him very strong
with the Country Trade.
Furthermore, he was a good Mixer.
He belonged to the K. P'S and the
Odd Fellows and few others, so that
about four Nights out Of the week he
would fill his Pockets witkmld Smok-
ers, usually neglecting to make out
Ticket, and then he would pike for the
Lodge Room and let his Partner and
the Boy with the Pink Shirt attend to
the Store.
If there was an Auction Sale or a
Base Ball Game or Circus anywhere
within a Radius Of 20 miles, then Mr..
Hailfellow would put on his Dark Suit
and stand-up Collar and drive over,
just to get his Mind off his Business.
In one Way and another he managed
to keep his Mind off Of Business about
seven eighths of the Time.
Sometimes, when he was around the
Store, and there was a Saturday Rush.
he would have to wait on a, few Gus
toners, but he was a shine Salesman
because he never could make out what
the Cost Mark meant
Mr.. Crouch, the Partner, possessed a
Good Head for Business but he had
the Social Disposition Of a Coffin
Trimmer. While Hailfellow would be
up and down the Street, kidding the To-
cal Population and making himself
well-liked, Crouch would be in the
back end of the Store Strengthening
out the Books and figuring Discounts
Crouch was at the Store by o'clock
every Morning, keeping Tab, for fear
that some one who was No Good would
get his Name on the Books.
Hailfellow would land in about $3.50
and open the Day by reading the
Morning Paper through from the
Weather Bulletin in front to the Testi.
monials on the last Page. After which,
he was ready to go out and plant him
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

princess rob his actions of the gamor of romance and
stamp him as an advenurer and scoundrel
As for the princess wife and mother there w2S
abundance of folly in her act, along with or less
provocation. Her obviously right programme was to
apply for divorce from coarse brutal and debauched
husband and then marry her young tutor provided her
love lasted until he had secured his legal separation
With her there admxture of high dudgeon and
desire for revenge against the prince along with
inatuation for her young Frenchman and wild ro
mantle spirit She wrought up with conflicting
emotions that for the time she forgot her duties to her
children and the dangerous suggestion of her dashing
and perhaps designing lover did the rest She will re-
of her rashness at leisure while young Gron goes
home patch it up with his wife else get his walking
papers and seek fresh adventures elsewhere.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

self on Salt Barrel and discuss the
Issues of the Day.
Crouch had only one Day off in foul
years and then he had to attend the
Funeral of Relative. So that when
he did get a Vacation there was not
much Enjoyment in 1t.
There was no denying his Industry
but no one liked him. He seemed to
have some kind of an inward Grudge
against every one who came in to buy
a Bill of Goods. If q Customer re-
marked that it was a Nice Day, he
didn't seem to believe it. The Trade
would not have stuck at all, had it not
been for Hailfellow. who had a way of
giving Stick Candy to the Kids and
beautiful Colored Pictures, advertis-
ing Breakfast Foods, to the Women
Folks.
Each Partner naturally believed that
he was getting the Short End of the
Arrangement. They would go home
and tell their Troubles to the Wives.
Mrs. Hailfellow went around to Sew
ing Societies and Missionary Meetings
telling how Mr.. Haiifellow had to put
up with a lot and was realty the one
who brought all the Trade to the Store
Mrs. Crouch loved to lar all hA~
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

Friends know that her HUGband shaved
like Dog while the Partner soldiered
but just the same, always came in on
the cut-up of the Profits.
When the Wives begin to take part
in a Business Row, the Dissolution No
tice is about Due
HaflfelloW and Crouch agreed ia
, disagree. HailfeIlow took his Share
and opened a, New Place across thu
Street with a Gilt Sign and nickel
plated Show Cases.
Almost Immediately it was the most
popular Joint in Town. At Times there
were as many as 10 men sitting around
the Stove swapping Fish Stories. Hall
fellow employed a couple Of Clerks
who knew more about a Cash Register
than the Man that invented it.
He issued Pass Books to all those
who cared for his Jokes. The Drum
mers would jump several Towns in or
der to get to him in a Hurry because,
II Hailfellow liked a drummer, he
would order a, thousand gross Of Lamp
Chimneys rather than appear cold and
unsociable. In a short time he had a
Magnificent Stock, but he could not re-
member exactly how much it cost him.
So he sold Goods at whatever seemed
to be Reasonable and the Farmers
drove long distances so as to give him
their Trade.
In the meantime Crouch was reaplng
the sure Reward of one who is not kind
to his Fellow-Man. People did not
care to patrOnize one whose Conversa-
ton consisted very largely Of Grunts,
and why should they do so, when they
could go right across the Street and
buy Stuff below Cost, and a Joke given
away with every Purchase?
Crouch began to lose Money and the
Rent ate up his Invested Capital. At
last the Jobbers closed in on him and
asked the Sheriff to step in and the
Sheriff said he would do so, as soon
as he got through closing up the Hail
fellow Matter.
Mr.. Hailfellow had done q Rushing
Business. He owed nearly every
Wholesale House west Of New York,
and, in addition to laying up the most
remarkable mess of Junk ever seen
under one Roof, he had collected the
Autograph Signatures of all the Pau
pers in the County. Four Experts
worked for Month trying to find out
where he stood. and at last they fig
ured out IA Cents on the Dollar.
1t is always pleasant to record a
Reconciliation. After all their Differ
ences and misunderstanding HailfeI-
low and Crouch came together and re-
stunned Friendly Relations.
Both are employed by a New Firm
which bought UP the Bankrupt Stocks.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08
THE NEW LANGUAGE.

Esperanto is the new universal language.
Daily ChrOnicle.)
For VOlapuk grief rent my soul,
That language having. predeceased me.
But now most ingenious Pole
From anguish has released me.
In his praise shall my Tyre be struck
And sung to many a canto,
l cannot weep for Volapuk
While l have Esperanto.
1t Is a tongue you learn to speak
Within a summers short night,
Write leaders in it in a week
And sapphics in a fortnight.
Its grammar seems task no doubt
But tbs a task for sGornmg;
You write its dictionary out
In less than half a morning.
Its meagre scant array Of words
Could puzzle no beginner;
Untutored cannibals by herds
Would learn them after dinner
And hence the fear We're but a fear
Which ''groundless' you would label
II We deemed such disaster near
AS one time fell on Babel.
One truth remains, untold before
And doubtless you've discerned It;
Or Esperanto there'u be no more
To tell you-when I've learned it.
London Chronicle.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

Copyright. 1903 by Robert Howard Russell.

Once upon Time there was Firm
doing Business under the Name Of
Hailfellow and Crouch.
They had a large Retail Establish
ment upon entering which the Custom
er was greeted by the mingled Odors
of Kerosene, Roasted Coffee, Leather
Herkimer County Cheese, Navy Plug,
Dried Apples and petrified Goldfish. In
the good old Summer Time it was not
necessary to go into the Store in order.
to get the complicated Aroma. Farmers
driving by could come very near guess
ing what HailfelloW and Crouch car
ried in Stock.
The Firm did a Nice Business and
used to split quite Piece of Money
every Jan. LIST. But neither one was
satisfied. Each felt that he was en-
titled to at least two thirds of the Net
Profits.
Mr.. Hailfellow was the Hand Shaker
for the Outfit. His long Suit was to
know everybody and call him by his
front Name. On every pleasant Day
he stood In front Of the fragrant En-
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08
TODAY'S WEATHER.

Minnesota and Iowa-Fair in west:
snow in east portion Sunday; Monday fair
Upper 1i M Michigan and wisconsfn-snov
Sunday and probably Monday brisk east
winds. p ~
North Dakota and South Dakota,-Fair
and warmer Sunday snow Monday.
Montana-Fair; warmer in { a It: rain or.
snow in west portion, Sunday; snow and
colder Monday.
St. Paul Yesterdays temperatures,
taken by the United States weather bu-
reau,e ST. Paul, w. E. Oliver, observer. for
the twenty-four hours ended at o'clock
last night-Baronete corrected for tenn
ture, 26; lowest temperature, Z; average
temperature, Is; daily range, Is; barom-
eter, $685.. humiditsp. So; precipitation,
.01; p. M, temperature, %; D. m
wind, southeast; weather, clear -.
Yesterdays Temperatures-
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08
A STATE AFFAIR,

MINI. and Geo. and Cal and Me.
Ariz. at Tenn. one night
TO Wash. quantity of Ore.
We dug by Kan. Del. light
N: 7. we quarreled we'll New Yer tell:
When Miss. Mich. toolzeIll., you know
We tried to Conn. the man on the Mont.
Where Neb. had grass to Mo.
N. J. the tailor soon R. Lived;
Said Dakota could not send,
Because N. III. and n. Ms bills were due.
And he didn't like Ark. Ind.
o. Ala. keep us from these men:
La. Fla. us If it's in yer,
N. 8. carefully to the s. c. boy
From Va.-no. West Virginia.
1t Texas, wis. to send to Pa,
For he's owing an Md.
Iowa bill, and if Idaho
Mass, of work I'd do you see.
But ere this I've made Wye. KY,
And Alaska to D. G.
If you are musician.
You will doubtless follow me-
T. Roger Lyon, in Brooklyn Eagle.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

The British German Italian Venezuelan company
will not be able to acquire territory But the Brit
ish-American Tobacco company has only acquired
the London business but yesterday secured possession
of the greatest tobacco plant in the world at Louisville
This shows that the Monroe doctrine has stronger
grip the world than any "trustbuster" law up to
date The world-power trust take second place
today the industrial combination.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

Crouch is keeping the Books at not
very much per Month, and Hailfellow
receives exactly the same Salary for
standing around the front Doorway
and glad handing the Yaps.
Which proves that it is impossible
for Business Man to side-step his
Destiny.
MORAL: Pick out the Other Kind
for a Partner
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

The sultan of Turkey is elated over his defeat Of
the pretender by buying the latters army that he is
now gong to intimdae Russia France and Austria nv
display OF 100000 troops the Turkish frontier A
,''ie more OF his sultanc egosm. and there will be
less sultan and Turkey-except a vvshbona for a.
powers to wrangle over.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

The latest merger is the phianthropic trust with
100 millionaire directors and paid up cash capital of
SIooooooo as starter for philanthropc 1t is
noticeable however, that yet has attempted
trust on honesty good morals That seems to be the
one thing the trust underwriters to leave
free to all producers and consumers.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

Minister Bowen's remark that this country did not
propose to perpetrate word-power alliances may not
have been diplomatic courtesy, but it straight stuff
and it did the business just the same.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08
Budweiser und
der Coal Trust

LOUIE" I set.
"Dit you notice
dot dare ISIS some
ding di dbl n g
aboudt der coal
trust in Washing
ton, yes %
"Shure I hat,
Budweiser, (" set
Louie, bud who
ISIS going to did id
to der coal trust
ers, aindt id 2"
fsXTJI -
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

Speaker Henderson has followed the precedent Of
the allied powers and will establish little blockade by
way of>fortfying his claims to political preference
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

The Clapp Elkins bill has passed the senate, and
Quay-Foraker combine to block the one and Speaker
Henderson to hold up the other, is doubtful even if
Mark Hanna knows what will be the result of
session Of rustbusting"
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08

After playing the hog for a season. the bockadns
allies will attempt to work The Hague.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08
THE FLOOD OF BOOKS

Books,
Books, books, books;
Gadzooks,
What end is there to them?
And what shall stem
The flood that pours
In multi editioned scores
From overlooking pens that scratch
And scratch and scratch
mistakenly to catch
The laurel and the bay?
Nay, nay,
The '..plunks,' the "scads." the 'wad:"
That is the inspiration of the god
Of pen endeavor of these times
" prollX prose and rubber rhymes.
That is what
Keeps the presses hot,
And that is why
Genius is on the fly
TO whoop things up
With hip, hooray
For any old stuff
That brings the pay.
And there'll be no finish
To the flood
Until the name
Of Mammon
Is Mud.
w. J. Hampton, III New York Herald.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-08
sUsLIMATEo THoucHTs.

SUsLIMATEO THOUGHTS.
!.
Does the gravy gravitate2
Is the curate accurate?
Is the mist a mystery?
Is elate?
Or is it she?
Who will tell these things to meP
He who'd plant human bean
Would enter an intervene,
II she squared the roundelay,
Was clagrin?
Stand away!
Let the dance go on. i say!
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-01-28

Senator Fairbankss speech yesterday was
distinct departure from the generality of
political speeches In fact, 1t was not a
political speech at all, and was perhaps all
the more appropriate and admirable for
that reason Although elected by a party,
a senator of the United States represents
the whole State, and his duty to the State
is higher than that to his party. Senator
Fairbanks's speech was from this point OF
view. His characterization of the strong
points of the State and it's people and of the
qualities that have placed it among the
foremost States of the Union was happy
and eloquent. This part of the speech will
rank among the finest tributes to Indiana
that have been paid at any time. The re-
mainder of the speech dealt with what goes
to make a great nation and to constitute
good citizenship and good government. 1t
is not Senator Fairbanks's habit to ''abuse
the other side,' and his speech of yesterday
could be listened to with equal pleasure by
Republicans and Democrats.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-01-28
OUR UNDERPAID JUDGES.
Only Rich Men Can Afford to Take
Our Highest Offices.

Only Rich Men Can Afford to Take
Our Highest Offices.
Harper's Weekly.
1t ill accords with the spirit Of our insti-
buttons that the United States should be
represented at the chief European capitals
mainly or exclusively by rich men; yet as
things are now, only rich man can afford
to accept an embassy. Even more egregi-
ously underpaid are the justices of the
United States Supreme Court. who receive
but $4,000 apiece, except in the case OF the
chief justice, whom an additional $500 is
given. Unquestionably the honor attached
TO this judicial office is superlative one:
but he who faithfully discharges an exalted
and momentous function Is worthy, not only
of honor, but of adequate remuneration
the American bar who earn four or five
times as much as the sum annually allotted
to justice Of the United States Supreme
Court. In England, the lord high chancellor
receives $4,000 a year during his tenure of
office, and $4,000 a year when he retires
from Office. The lord chief justice receives
$40 600 year. Yet the duties of our federal
justices are incomparably more important,
since they can declare an act of Congress
unconstitutional, whereas no English Judge
can pronounce an act Of Parliament invalid.
1t might be well to begin by increasing
justices and circuit and district judges, be-
cause the Constitution permits this to be
done during their term of ONCE. Such
a step should be promptly followed, how
ever, by an Increase Of the Presidents COM
pensatton, and proportionate increase of
the salaries received by the vice Presi-
dent, the members of the Cabinet and am
bassadors We do not believe that a move
in this direction would encounter any
strenuous opposition, and we hope to see
the change made. by either the Fifty
seventh Congress during the short remnant
nf re nr hxyt ha ctr
SO that the enlarged salaries would be paw
able after March 4, 1905.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-01-28
WANT MORE PAY.
Impression Gained that mcehOlders
Are MOney-Grabbers.

Impression Gained that Omceholders
Are MOney-Grabbers.
North Vernon Qnd) Republican.
The Indiana officeholders seem to have
conceived the idea that the legislature ex-
lists for their special benefit and that he is
the best man" who can succeed in secur-
ing the biggest graft Up to date, Govern
or Durbin has asked that the State build
a mansion, for the occupancy of his fam
lily, the Supreme and Appellate court judges
want handsome increase in salary, the
county recorders want the fee and salary
law amended so that they can get more out
Of the office, the sheriffs want the law
changed so they won't have to work for
what they get. The clerks and circuit
judges want an Increase in salary. w. H.
Freeman, secretary of the State Board of
Forestry, wants his salary increased and
$2.000 for travelling expenses and 5000 for
office help. School teachers have asked
that their salaries be increased. Township
assessors want 50 per day instead of
81. The circuit judges of Marion county
want special act to give them an extra
$1,000 per annum on their salary and at
the present rate before the close of the
session every petty officeholder in Indiana
clear down to constables will have at
tempted to hold UP the taxpayers by Sc
curing special act of the Legislature in
his interest and our legislators cannot
every scheme of this kind that is pre-
sented. Let them give notice that the bi-
ennial sessions Of the General Assembly
have a higher purpose than to afford office
holders an opportunity to secure a graft
and let the greedy scramble for an appro-
priation from the pockets of the taxpayers
be frowned on. without exceptions. There
is never better time than the present TO
begin this reform by refusing every official
who applies. When there is dearth of
competent aspirants for Office at the pres
ent salary is time to consider the Ques-
ton of an increase. but in that event the
General Assembly and not the greedy off,
cial must be the Judge
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-01-28

Hon. William n Hart. who retired from
the Office OF auditor Of state on Monday.
has been one of the most faithful and eff
cient OF the men who have hello ONCE since
the Republicans came into power in 1895
AS deputy auditor under Mr.. Daily he broke
Up lax system Of auditing accounts which
cost the State much money. With Mr..
Daily he put an end to the pernicious prac-
tice Of paying portion OF one years obli-
cations out OF the next years appropria-
ton. Through his and Mr.. Daily's influence
the Legislature provided for the accurate
system OF accounting which prevails in this
State More tssn to any other mar indiana
Is indebted to Mr.. Hart for the Punishment
of bogus insurance companies. and the VIC
tory was won by his persistent fighting
OF all kinds OF fraud under the name of in
surance. To the Tax Commission and on
the Finance Board Mr.. Hart was a most
useful official
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-01-28
In his inaugural address delivered Jan. Il
I9O1. Governor Durbin said:

1901, Governor Durbin said:
The more I have learned of the nom
partisan management OF our institutions
the more L have become convinced of the
practical utility Of the methods now en-
ployed. While / am myself a partisan OF
somewhat infiexible temperament In that
particular, L cannot but realize that my
first duty is to the State. Whatever l may
think personally will not be permitted to
serve as a rule and guide to my actions
officially. / believe in the wisdom and JUS
tice of the merit system knowing
full we'll these conditions, 1 can never con-
sent to the Endorsement of any proposition
purposing a backward step.
One committee after another has COM
mended the management of the institutions
during the last two years and in his mes
sage of three weeks ago the Governor said:
The public institutions of Indiana, for the
support of which the State makes such lib
eral provision, are to be commended for
their conditions of general excellence. The
boards of management are carrying into eff
feet the admirable provisions of law where
by the merit system, humane methods and
business detail are enforced, thus securing
charge of all the multiplied duties and
cares, and guarding expenditures without
narrow restriction, but within lines of pru-
dence and economy.
The trainers Of the Goodwine bill ought
to have consulted the Governor before in
Producing a measure so at variance with his
views as expressed above.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-01-28
GERMAN FOLLY.


Pfttsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
1t is not to be doubted that the German
Kaiser is the directing spirit in the vene-
zuelan campaign, which has now proceed
ed to such an extreme that the wise course
for England and Italy Is to disentangle
themselves while they may Their repudia-
ton of the causeless bombardment of Fort
San Carlos would do much to relieve the
strain of the present situation. and the iso-
lation of Germany might help to bring the
Kaiser and his advisers to their senses
The attack on the fort begun by one Ger
man warship and renewed by three is with
out reasonable justification or excuse in
face of the negotiations in progress and
the assurances given by Castro. The nom
participation by England stamps Ii a Ger
man measure, as the leading part taken
by the English I'm the destruction of the
Notifications at Laguayra, for which there
was better cause, stamped that as the
work OF England. The English people took
alarm at that act and England's course be-
came less aggressive. 1t is time for an
other check. Now when peace and salts
faction of demands were In sight the Ger
man war vessels bear down the scales OF
war. The foolish act recalls a verse OF
one wiser than even Kaiser Wilhelm es-
teens himself TO be that he ought TO pom
der now:
Rejoice. young man in thy youth I;
and let thy heart cheer thee in the days
of thy youth, and walk In the ways OF
thine heart and in the sight of thine eyes /;
but know thou that for all these things
God will bring thee into Judgment
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-01-28
THE NEW ALASKAN BOUNDARY
TREATY.

Senator Fairbanks statement regarding
the new Alaskan treaty indicates its scope
more clearly than the press dispatches
have done. AS the senator was a member
Of the Anglo-American joint high commits
sion appointed in 1898 to adjust as far as
possible all subjects of controversy be-
tween the Dominion Of Canada and the
United States. he is qualified to speak on
the subject. That commission consisted of
six members on the part OF Great Britain
and Canada and the same number on the
part OF the United States. The chairman
OF the commission was Baron Herschell.
lord high chancellor of England. and the
other British members were Canadian
statesmen. The American commissioners
were Senators Fairbanks and Faulkner.
Representative Dingiey. Hon. John A. Kas-