The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-12-13

Tale Of the Guy Who
Proved to be a Splinter


sUNAYD ed.n ws svjle cwkl, zee ?cj eta
copyright, 1908, by Steve Floyd.) "
Once upon time there lived IN the
town OF Pelt Center which is a regular
stop OH southern road. party OF the
name of Luther Lvermore.
Luther was tho he-helle of the burg.
He wore Primrose and West shirts, pats
with polka dol cloth uppers, manicured
his nails, smoked monogramed Turkish
student lamps and talked about actresses.
1t came tc pass that Luther's father
had fight to finish with a spell Of
sickness and lost his decision. When
the life Insurance company was put
wise to the fact that the bout was on
the level and the verdict popular one,
they settled " It'll the widow without
going to court, and as Luther was the
only child, and his mammals precious
darling she split the purse with him.
When It became noiSed around Felt
Center that the check had arrived, the
storckeepers invited Luther to step IN
and sign tabs. and the young ladies'
made 1t plain that they would be charmed s'
to have him dlol In Of an evening
Before it wa time to rip the black
band off his sleeve. Luther had writ,
er's cramp and an option on a girl named
Lucille. Tho widow had nothing. tho
tailor had dispossess notice, tho con,
fectioner had doubts. the 5ewoler mad
hopes and Lucille had sparklers.
AS long as Luther kept the kids busy
carrying bon bons and blossoms to Lu-
clio, all was we'll, But when he had
shot his bolt there came change IN the
betting, and the wise ones tumbled to the
fact that he WAS due to lose his Tor
felt.
When Luther got a hunch that Lu-
ellie was going to transfer. assign, con-
yey. set over ana release all OF her right
title and Interest In and to her cnrdiacal
regard to one Rufus Easson he put up
an awful howl,
He cxuded tho opinion that she was
not on the g4uare. and that she was
handing him the double cross for the
reason that his father had neglected to
carry u million dollar policy. Flo set up
the claim that she did not possess
marketable titiL 10 her seat OF affection,
for the reason that she had accepted
sundry and divers goods. chattels ana Ell
feots from him, and that IN consider
alton OF the delivery unto her Of the
said sundry and divers goods, chattes
and effects, She had by insinuatlon, inti-
nation innuepdo. utterance, action,
pledge and prumlse, caused him to feel, be-
lleve, imagine infer and conclude by both
Inductive and deductive reasoning that
he was to acquire and attain exclusive
title, ownership, mastery and proprietor
ship OF her heart, and that no, and he
only was to reserve to himself full power.
control, dominion and command over the
said heart, and that he, and he only,
was to be and to be known as tho sole
md only lord, master, king, floor-Wnlker
Ito said that 1t was up to Lucille to call
ali bets off Will, Rufus IIasson and TO In
form him that II would be good for him t.
open vi, negotiations III some other CLINE,
lie remarked that no gentleman would
trespass on another's preserves, especial-
fanny setting were shining all over the
premises, and that he would take a fall
out OF the afoIeSAld Rufus Hasson if he
did not show = SSJh ratio Of speed IN