Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-08-29
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~NOooNNoNo

fght3 Now, if l were you I'd kiss and
make up" "Say. wot do yous tink dis
isa woman's clubf"-Life.
what is the matter with Bills"
Worrying over business affairs II
didn't know he had any business"
That's it. He hasn't. indianapolis
News.
II don't want to know how TO make
money go farther" he insisted. "Why
not| Just because I personally find
it too far off as it Philadelphia
North American.
Sharpe-Why, yes, l was at church
last Sunday. kloSeman-Were YOU,
really? Strange l didn't see you.
Sharpe-Oh, not at all. | took up the
collection,-Ph Philadelphia Press
"Matrimony." mused the elderly
woman, "spoils many Il romance" In
that ease" replied the younger woman
promptly, II would like to have ro-
nance spoiled. Chicago Post.
"Lemme once git my han on de
chicken, wild straight road hefo' ne,
says n Georgia darby, ZEN III settle de
race problem so quick it'll make yo'
head swim Atlanta Cons tuition
Johnny Grandpa, have YOU any
teeth? Grandpa-No, my child, they
haxe all gone. Iohnny~-Then ! think
I'll let you hold my nuts while | run
an errand,--Glasgow Evening Times.
"IIow in the world did you happen
to buy three boxes of blackberricsf"
woman asked her husband, who had
been doing the marketing "Threc for
n quarter" the man replied.
Clone
MifkIns-That scoundrel Jobson
called me an idiot! Bifkins--llc didn'c
prove II, did he? Mifkins-~No; but
Bifkins-Then I'd advise you To let the
matter drop, or he might.--Chlcago
Daily News.
80 you're learning to play chcssP
said Maud. YES" answered Mamie.
'"rhe moves must be very difficult"
"Yes. But the Worst part isn't the
moving. It's the keeping still
Washington Star.
!Ge Explains --Summer Boarder--I
thought your advertisement said some
thing about boating Farmer-Oh, yes.
We have boat and oars-only some
times the darned creek dries up
Town and Country.
Bachelor don't understand why
he wants to marry her. Why, she
hasn't any mind mt all Henpeck-So
much the better. Then she can't be
changing 1t every hour or so.--PhIla-
delphia Public Ledger.
Pm told the climate here has great
health-glving properties said tho Wis
flor what do you attribute 1t tor
We'll" replied the proprietor of the
health resort, 81 guess It's because I've
advertised it so well Philadelphia
Press.
Didn't Pan Out.~-Mlss Towney lin
search of the idyllic, at last meets
real live shepherdl--Pra tell me, gem
tie shepherd where is thy pipe? The
Gentle Shepherd left IL at come,
mum, cause | amt got no 'baccy.--
Tt-Bits.
Summer Naturalization are you
going to spend the summer? Tom-I'm
going to spend II travelling from one
seaside place To another, until | find
girl worth million or two who
wants TO be- loved and married for her
self alone -Tit-Bits
Now, boys" said the Sunday School
teacher, "can any of you name the
three great feasts Of the Jcwsf"
"Yes'm, | can, replied one little fell
low. VERY well, Johnny, what are
theyT" breakfast. dinner and sup
per-" was ihc unconsciousiy logical re-
ply.
"Ah wish de mudders OBJ dis congre.
CATION would bring deyr babies to
church wifi dem. Nevah mind how
young dey am, jess bring EN- erIong.
If dcy am too young to appreciate de
significance oh de service, dey can, at
least. yell an keep de deacOns awaken
Puck
Auntle Cfindfng Jackie sobbing in IA
corner)-Why. Jackie, what has hap
pened to make you feel so badly this
morning Jackie--M Nina Missed
some jelly. Auntie-HO. hol see.
And her suspicious fell upon you, chi
Jackie-No, auntie; it was her slipper.
The Boston Courier.
How long has this affair been build
mgr asked the American tourist, "a
he looked at Cologne Cathedral.
About five hundred years" answered
the guide. Five hundred years! Why,
IN Chicago we could put up building
Ike that and have 1t all to pieces, all
within Eve ars,"-London Tit-Bits.
IFS funny our minister never gets
married" remarked the young hus-
band, who had just refused his wife a
bonnet, In his endeavor to change the
subject II think he'd make n good
husband" well" replied the wife
warmly, "he didn't seem to make a
very good one when he married U.S.
Tit Ritz