The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1903-01-22
FIRE AT JUGGERS.
BY TOM p. MORGAN,

| Every now and then, Tor months, the
chimney had habit of burning out, and al
the roof often caught fire these events were
the occasion of much excitement.
Jugger had grown tired of reducing him
self to the verge OF emotional insanity in
searching for salt to pour down the chimney
trying to quiet his wife, who insisted upon
INDUCING IN Mysteries, and in seeking the
ladder that seemed to have concealed itself
| just when it was most needed.
Usually, by the time he had charged all
| over the house and lot, coliding with all the
| furniture in the former and all the trees
| shrubs, posts and clotheslines in the latter
| the fire had burned out or been extinguished
| by the neighbors, and his wife had cried her.
| self into the first cousin of a fit. Then the
| ladder would be found, serene and untrou.
bled, in the place where it always reposed,
and the salt would grin at him from the bar.
rel in the pantry.
But now Jugger could retire to his couch,
happy in the thought that, with the salt at
| hand and the ladder leaning against the
caves, he was ready for any emergency.
For nearly week peace brooded over the
Jugger household. Then the chimney went
on the rampage again.
1t was near midnight when Mrs. Jugger
awoke her spouse by her energetic jab in
the ribs and the thrilling announcement that
she smelt smoke.
The fire could be heard roaring in the chin
ney, and Jugger was sure that a confagra-
ton would speedily ensue if he did not
hasten to the scene of the danger accom-
panied by the salt, so he sprung out of bed,
took one quick step and fell forward on his
Zoo oil, lol 10 hn
with his nose.
Till of late, Jugger had never worn robe
de-nuit, but had passed down the years, SO
to speak, night-shirtless and neglected Mrs.
Jugger remedied this awful state of affairs
by presenting her husband, upon his last
birthday, not long ago, with brand new
night shirt, five feet and three inches long,
forgetting that by all laws of precedent,
Juggers head ought to stick out of the top
of the garment.
Upon rising in the abrupt fashion before
mentioned, Jugger, forgetting the supertlu-
Gus length of the robe, stepped on the front
of it and came down on his face, as stated,
with a force that nearly drove his nasal
protruberance back out of sight in his coun-
tenance.
Springing to his feet and pulling his nose
out to where it Belonged, he grabbed the
pail of salt and started toward the door.
This time, when the long robe tripped jug
ger it sent him headong against the wall
with force that almost shortened up his
neck When he finally escaped from the
house it was by holding up the extraneous
length of the garment
Out of doors and around the house he
rushed, cracking his shins with the sharp
corners of the salt pail at every other jump.
As he came in sight of the flames, streaming
like f1ume of fire out of the chimney top,
his excitement caused him to drop the robe
for an instant. He recognized his mistake
when he found himself crawling out of the
embraces of Mrs. Jugger's rare and exceed
ingly thorny Mexican cacti, which were
| highly successful as ornaments, but made
a very poor couch.
Jugger really ought to have possessed a
third hand to assist him while he held onto
the ladder and his life and the salt and his
nightshirt. He was not like the diatory
gentleman of chestnut lore, who, in addition
to his right and left hands, was provided
with little behind hand. He would have
surmounted the steep roof with much more
ease and less loss of cuticle if each of his
hands and all of the feet he possessed, and
the half-dozen more that he needed, had
been armed with long, sharp claws, capable
of being socked deep into the shingles
After Mr., Jugger had succeeded in climb
ing up the steep roof at about the same rate
of speed as that of the arithmetlcal frog
that, in climbing out of the well, assembled
two feet every day and fell back three feet
every night, the neighbors were astounded
at the vision that appeared on the ridge
pole. They saw, by the light of the chin
ney's torch, a figure that looked like large
cat in long gown crawling along the apex
of the roof
just as Jugger raised the pail in order
to pour the salt down the chimney, his toe
holds slipped at one side. Instead OF going
down the chimney the salt was poured down
the roof, white and gritty cascade. A mo-
ment later Jugger followed it. There was
frantic clutching and cawing, and wild
yell that nearly put out the fire, and the
human toboggan went sliding down over
the salty and splintery surface of the shin
giles.
The frantic manner in which drowning
man is supposed to clutch at straws would
not have been a circumstance to the en-
tnuSlaStlc ana uHTeSeTVeu manner III " HlcH
Jugger endeavored to plant his claws upon
or into something that would stay his prog
ress.
His efforts we're useless Down he went
at rate that made the salt sandpaper oil
the splnters that would otherwise have pro-
truded from his person and given him
the appearance of human pincushion. Had
it not been for the presence and kind Of
fees of the salt, Juggers condition would
have been much more deplorable one, for,
while man with splinters sticking out all
over him like pn-feathers may be very use
full as human scratcher, he certainly can
not be considered as ornamental. An Adon-
is stuck full of splinters must pull down his
sign, and no man likes to think that his
chances of winning in beauty competition
have gone where prohibition prohibits, and
henceforth he can aspire to nothing better
than being an animated toothpick holder.
just as Jugger went over the edge OF the
roof the tail of his robe caught on a sturdy
er-clamp. For moment he hung like
large, white bat. There was the sound
like that which ensues when the friendship
of years is rent in twain from top to bot
tom. The sturdy clamp, having got its full
share of the garment, Jugger dropped, with
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