Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-11-28

shares will be put at S5 each, so that all can invest. Divorces procured for grass widows at reasonable figures and without unnecessary delay. How do you like it, my friendT"
 'Don't-don't I get my 90 centT' asked the tailor in helpless way as he pointed to the bill lying on the desk.
 You do, my dear creditor. You get 1t a hundred thousand times over. That's what Pm working for. You have had confidence in my financial integrity, and I wish to prove my grat- itude. If you don't fancy what have mentioned why not join me in my lit tie Florida scheme and be able to buy a national bank within two years?
 "Ten thousand acres of swamp lands can be bought in Florida for $1 an acre. Each acre will furnish pasture ground for 12,000 frogs. At one year old each frog will sell right there on the ground for a dime. That Is, his hind legs will, while the rest of his body can be fed to 10000 ducks and geese being raised for market at the same time. No machinery to get out of order about this scheme. Requires no ice in summer and no cold storage in winter. Capital stock only $25, ,O0O and monthly dividends of 50 per cent guaranteed. Bound to go with jump bound to. Cannot be consolidated with any gas company nor sold to an English syndicate. Title not yet se- lected, but will probably be the Great Poic cSn pany. Trustees holding funds for or phans are asked to look into this scheme for richness. Can you bring me $75 by o'clock this afternoon as your share of the preliminary ex- penses?'
 By tunder! By tundery' gasped the tailor as he walked about with the perspira ton standing out on his face.
 "You are a hard man to suit, but still have something to offer you," pla cidly continued the major as he looked for and lighted the stub end of cigar.
 "Do you want to make money enough in a week to buy the earth? All right. Bring me in $2OO by tomor- row noon, and I will admit you as an equal partner in my latest and per
 
 seize Canada some dark night and sell her to the United States. The capital required is only $oO0,OOO, and Uncle Sam would jump at an offer to pay $50,OO0,00O cash on the nail. Clear profit in a week or SO, $49, SOC, ,O00. Wanted-A first class seizer who is not afraid of work and has had some ex- perience in seizing countries. Apply at the office of the Great American Seizer company. Canada is right over there, waiting to be seized, and Uncle Sam is right over here, waiting to buy. You might run some little risk in frogs, but this thing is spiked down and can't get away.
 My dear MT. Schwartzenhammer, come in with me-come in out of the dampness. There is chance to shove millions down your hind pocket and no chance to fail. Shakespeare says''-
 ''I like to know if get my 90 cent?" interrupted the tailor with many ges- lures.
 T have still one more scheme"- began the major as he walked around the room, but his creditor cried out:
 'I vhas cop here init bill, but you don't pay him!' ~
 "As was saying''-
 ''Und you cheat mel"
 GAS was saying, my friend@~
 "Und you vhas some dead beats, und ! go und haf three lawsuits on youv'
 The tailor flourished his arms and looked his indignation and disgust and stalked out of the room, and the grand promoter looked after him and sighed and shook his head and said to him. self:
 T would have made a Rothschild of him within year, but, alas, he is we'd ded to his goose" M. QUAD.