Bisbee daily review., 1903-12-02


 in front of the wheel where the com pass is kept, and at night it is lighted by a lamp. You are going out to sail on yacht. Can you tell me what the main sheet is!'
 "Of course l can. Do you take me for knockkneed idiot? The main sheet is the main sheet is the rope that hauls down the main jib in a gale.'' The Bowser cat was born and reared almost within sound of the surf, and she knows a thing or two about salt water. At MT Bowser's reply she fell over as if dead, and Mrs. Bowser made such an effort to preserve her serenity of cOuntenance that her hair curled.
 ''rhe main sheet, MT. Bowser," she said when she could control her voice, lis the rope used to haul in or let out the main boom on board of any vessel, 1 no matter what her rig" What! What, Whatr' he howled as he jumped up and waved the tele- scope in the air. Woman, this is something uncomfortable. You seem to take me for first class fool!'
 Not at all. You have simply got the nautical fad. while you don't know anything about nautical matters. For instance, what head sails does the or dinary ship carry?" And you ask me that at-you who know more about dishpans and flat irons than ships"' he gasped.
 "Yes, ask, and I should like an an- swer"
 ''They carry digger Jib. of course. Perhaps you will deny it and say they carry a tablecloth instead" ''The head sails of the average sail i ing ship, Mir. Bowser, are staysail, jib and flying jib, but on a full rigged craft they carry an outer jib as well. Let us turn to the dictionary again and see if I am right Turn to nothing, Woman, what do you mean by such conduct? Do you wish to drive me from the house to- night to get drunk at saloon:" Of course not"
 Mir. Bowser started to glare again. but the look became a soft, oily smile as he thought of something, and a min ute later he asked:
 Just answer me a question, please. How many masts has a schooner got?' "The ordinary schooner has only two, the same as brig, but they have talk en to building them with three, four, | five and even six masts. The rig Of an ordinary schooner. if you wish to know, consists of foresail, mainsail. fore gaff, main gaff, staysail and two jibs.''
 "Is that aI:"
 That's all.'
 Then that shows all you know about it. Where does the foreroyal skysail come in, the principal sail on l the ship?'
 1 There is no such sail known on any ship of any rig, Mir. Bowser. There are foreroyals and skysails, but they are separate sails. Shall we turn to the dictionary"
 The commodore wanted to spring to 1, his feet and shout through his trumpet for all hands to pull up the foremast by the roots and cast the cooks gal ley overheard, but he cast two anchors to windward and held himself fast for q moment while he asked:
 Mrs. Know It All, perhaps you can tell me what a scuttle butt is
 ~ can,' readily replied Mrs. Bow ser. Tt is a barrel lashed on deck and containing fresh water for the use of the crew. I may tell you at the same time that harness cask is bar rel or cask containing meat to be cook sd as wanted"
 "And-and q bulkhead?
 Any partition on shipboard is call ed a bulkhead, whether in the cabin or hold. Now let me ask you what the ratlines are?'
 Mir. Bowser was about to answer that anything that rattled around or board ship was a ratline, but he had come 10 realize that he was a beaten man, and his dignity could be saved only in one way. Lord Nelson never took more heroic resolve. He clew' ed up his main topsail, close reefed his fore, and after hauling his jibs tc windward and shivering his foresai he rose up and said:
 Woman. you have seen fit to try to make fool of your husband, anc this little performance will now come to an end"
 "Bu. do you know how to box tho eompass?' she asked
 "No, ma'am, I don't. 1 don't know yacht from starch box nor full rigged ship from a henhouse- All know is-is"-
 And the man Of the salty sea ana the flashing spray and the ocean roal banged his telescope down on the foo and banged his jaunty yachting cal down after it, and then he jumped uI and down on them and cried out ''Ha hal Aye, ayer' in such deep sea tone that the cat was swept to leeward ant Mrs. Bowser was drowned in her state room.
 "Now, then" he said as the ship go through rolling and came back to al even keel, you have driven me iron my home, and you have driven me t ,, get drunk, and you take the conse quences and make the best of them"
 Then he rolled down the hall, clap ped on his sou'wester and made al sail for the street, and the last Mrs