The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-26

THE NONPARElL MAN
Casually Observed.
The Woman's Home Companion has a
study Of the Hygiene Of the Face. one
of the best rules we can offer regarding
the face is: Keep it closed about other
peoples business.
The Koreans in this fuss seem to be
in about as enviable a position as the
man editing a republican paper in South
Carolina.
\ DR.. Dowie is an interesting parsonage
and we indorse many of the principles
he stands for, but we should have to hesA
itate long and prayerfully before sending
him 10 per cent of our dough-
The Kansas City Journal declares that
| Carrie Nation is reincarnation of Ruth
| the cleaner. We do not believe that Car 4
RE is a carnation at ALL but a simple
modest violet.
| It is said to have been excitement that
killed the football player at Annapolis. It
/ is rather exciting to have eight giants
| jump on you with spikes
The Iowa w. c. T. U. state convention
at Sioux City denounced the soda foun-
tain The trouble with the Iowa soda
4 fountain is that a wink with it is as
| good as a nod, r ...-.'.
| New York seems to think that DR..
Dowie and the Cherry sisters are run
ming neck and neck. "
The Boston Globe says that the Angora
goat is more valuable than the Angora
cat. And besides that, you know where to
find the goat after D. m.
i The Long Prairie Leader humorist
claims that a Baptist must be Immersed.
| but he adds that a nan VINO has been
soaked" is not necessarily of this de-
nomination. g. . ~.
The Adrian Democrat answers that old
problem OF no is the happier the man
who OWLS 100000 or he Who has seven
daughters?' He who has $4,000 wishes
for more; the man who has seven daugh-
| tiers does not. .+E~.sE
Alderman William Johnson of the Thir-
ty-tllird ward, Chicago, struck his mother
il the face with his fist, blackening her
face and knocking out her false teeth and
breaking them. The voters say that they
will not reflect Johnson.
The Brainerd Arena discovers the 'tau-
tomobile tongue 1t is the kind that be-
longs to people who are always running
down other people
At Sullivan, Ind, Mrs Susan Parig,
past rs years of age, has never used spec
tacles and is able to read the finest print
:. without Inconvenience. The strangest
! phenomena, however, in the life Of Mrs.
: Farig are. that she is now cutting her
third set Of teeth and her hair. formerly
silvery gray. is turning black as jet She
, is we'll preserved, and enjoys the best of
: health. Unconsciously, perhaps, Mrs.
Parig has hit upon the secret that age
; is not the result of years but of the mind.
} We know grandpas at Y who are as
: kittenish colts. and we have met old
men of % who had rheumatism wore rub
bers and walked with canes before they
were out of college. Let's keep gay and
free, no matter if we're million.
Korea is on the mainland and seems
naturally to belong to Russia, On the
other hand, it is a peninsula that is thrust
right out to divide the Japanese empire.
and Japan sees in its control national
necessity. When a natural right meets
a national necessity the sparks are
bound to fly if neither of the combatants
has the golden rule in mind. Meanwhile
the Korean who lives there and owns the
place is in the position of a ripe tomato.
He's going to get eaten.
The Butchers and Grocery Clerks Jour-
- nal is out with a pleasant little story Of
II the mfshaps Of set of clerks who didn't
look to see what they were doing. Dur
ing the past few years several manufac-
turing firms moved their plants outside Of
;; the city limits. One firm has moved this
year, and as the majority of the clerks
live in the city a certain amount of grace
. | has been allowed as to the promptness Of
= their arrival each morning. But they
- were supposed to explain on the time reg
.: lister the cause of any unpunctuality. The
: first to arrive late generally leads off with
| the words: Train late" "Punctured q
l. | tire" etc, as the case may be, and to
) this the other clerks invariably add 'Dit-
. to-" So accustomed have they become to
}. the formal procedure that they hardly
ever take the trouble to see what excuse
;. heads the list. The other morning the
d first arrival! who was late. conscientious
Il ly pencied in the words: ''Wife had twins
T. this morning." and, to the anna cement Of
!; the manager this extraordinary explana-
= ton was promptly 'dittoed'' all the way
= down. Nor his establishment dimin-
;; ished when he saw the office boys name
l. | included. There will be a heavy Roose-
VeiL vote IN CnaI nanufaCtOry next year.
$ Just after the boys in the old Stony
Lonesome schoolhouse yard had worked
= off that old hunt-the-knife gag on poor
:. little Frankie Foster, the good boy, VINO
should appear on the scene, but Pussy
I Clement, with a new pair of shoes, nicely
Il BACKED. He looked sheepish and grinned
II guiltily, but made bold bluff.
Say fellers, Whatever been dom? ?"
J. The boys refused to be distracted from
IN their purpose.
:. 90, look at Pussy Clements new
y shoes!''
'e "Christen EN-; christen emf"
e. There was a general rush for the Glen
ent child Some of the boys tried to hold
him. while the others eNpectorated on his
shoes and stamped on his feet till the
f. Objectionable shine was extinguished an6
the footwear looked as if it had been thr,
20 campaign IN the Wilderness The Glenn.
er ent boy bit scratched and fought des
I'd perately, but the pirates accomplishef
Of their purpose. No boy could ever wea,
RS new shoes to school without going thr,
the christening ordeal. Weren't we swee;
n children? A. J. r
Il.