The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1903-04-24

poker)-Wer. what how yez got? Pat
-Four trowels and a black shamrocRl
Puck.
She-Doctor, is Squeedunk a good
place to go for rheumatism? Doctor
Sure That's where l got mine.-De-
roit Free Press.
Frightful: pat has got an awful
cash in his face" Does it seem to
hurt him much?" mo. He uses it to
eat with New York Sun.
when Mr.. Casey died he left all
he had to the orphan asylum" IN
deed! That was nice of him. What
did he leave?" His twelve children"
Chicago Evening Post.
A Sunny South Item: where in
thunder are you going with that stove
and all those overcoats?' Il am going,
my friend, to spend the winter in
Florida. Atlanta Constitution.
Phrapper after his tenth miss)-Oh,
hang the birds. Keeper-Sorry. sir,
but we amt got no string; but if you
likes to let me have the gun I'll shoot
EN- for you.-Glasgow Evening Times.
Quickest Way: Mr.. Kidder--People
say that it is impossible to find nee
die in haystack-but they're wrong.
Mrs Kidder-How would you go about
it? Mr.. Kidder-Walk across the stack
in my stocking feet.-Denver Repub-
lican.
DR.. Smarty-Had a very delicate
surgical operation at my place yester-
day. Removed an arm from lady's
waist. DR.. Synnex-lf it was your
arm the operation could not have been
very painful to the lady.-Boston
Transcript.
And now" said the teacher, at the
end Of a long description of the brain,
where is the seat of memory? Can
any Of you tell meY "Yessum,' re-
piled Johnny Brighteyes; lin the lit
lie finger, where you tie string around
it to make you recolect"
, Commercial Tribune.
Restful RawIins-Dat new hobo hez
Jess completed his first century" ride
on de trucks in a freight train! Mar
row Gauge Nevins-Did it please him
much? Restful Rawlins-NOt bit!
He said de dust an jolts reminded him
NV de days when he wuz rich an own
ed an "autov'-Puck.
Shopkeeper (whose patience is com
l pletely hausted)-Snippers. call the
r porter to kick this fellow out. Impor-
: tunate Commercial Traveller (undaunt-
ed)-Now. while we're waiting for the
porter. I'll show you an entirely new
! line-best thing you ever laid eyes on
e Glasgow Evening Times.
= Are you sure the course is clear
she whispered. sliding down to the
arms of her lover. Yes" he respond
ed; II succeeded in boring a hole il
s the waterpipe. Your father has dis
+ covered it, and will keep his finger oVei
e the hole until the plumber arrives
S Gomez Philadelphia Bulletin.
Somewhat Broken: WAS Mrs Muir
ply pleased when she heard her hus
q bands voice on the photograph
J. Every much So" But the record was
scratched and his speech sounded in
coherently." Eyes. she said it sound
8 ed Just like him talking when he came
e home from the club."-Chicago News
i The -Effacing Act: Myer-In old
n en- time it is said that it was possibl,
? for a man to render himself invisible
Gyer-Pshaw! that's not at all remark
able. Men In this country are dOin'
!. it every day. Myer-You don't tell me
{ How do they manage it? Gyer-B,
marrying famous women.-Chicag
l. News.
= Mr.. Mulhooly-Phwat fur are We
maxim such a noise on that PLAINLY
Y'r drivin' me distracted wild yr rack
is ct, an me head achin' loik it wud spill
In two paces Daughter-Them new
neighbors mkt door has been complain
in of my playin. Mr.. Mulhooly-BC
CORA. hammer harder.-New Yor
Weekly
Not SO Bad: Mrs. Henpeck-I rea
this morning about man who wa
arrested twenty minutes after his wee
ding and sent to prison for tiftee
years. Isn't that awful? Mr.. Her
4 peck-Oh, l don't know. The LAY
doesn't compel him to take his wifi
to prison with him, does it?-Balt
\ more World.
Taken at Her Word: "Now." sal
Mrs. Biggleson's cousin at breakfa'
on the morning after her arriva
] don't make company of me. wal
6 to be treated just as if l were one {
A the family" "All right" replied NJ
& Biggleson, helping himself to the tel
der part of the steak. "we'H try