Bisbee daily review., 1903-05-06
TEDTY ADMIRERS
 GET TO BENSON
"cHIckEN DICK" IS WATCHING BEAR WITH JEALOUS EYES.
Gets Into Argument with Review Cor respondent Over Origin of Grand canyon-"uneIe 6uIy" Authority.
(By Joe Chisholm.)

(By Joe Chisholm.)
 Benson, May 5.-To borrow the speech of Uncle William Plaster, s'we are thar" The first lap of our pill grimage has been reeled off with pleas ant celerity. We are a small party, but we are gay with the elation of this holiday journey and are contemplat- ing with pleasureable excitement the eventful trip ahead Some of the pas sengers have endeayored to enliyen the tedium of the two hours journey by haz zarding good-naturedly sarcastic com ments concerning the probable man ner in which the President will re- ceive his namesake. the bear; but we contemptuously ignore all slight fngly references concerning our mo mentous trip.
 The gaunt veteran known as Chick en Dick" has uniformly adhered to a new and disconcerting policy of sep ulchral silence, seldom flashing out with his wonted sardonic repartee.
 As to Teddy, that plantigrade beast Of prey, has accepted his railroad flight with philosophical indifference. iuterspersing his repose with his daily physical culture evolutions, consisting of varied clumsy stumbling stunts and occasional solemn attempts to se- cure a half-nelson oE his impotently short tail
 Much speculation as to the chief ex- ecutive's probable disposion of his
 Hn border has resolved into the opinion that he will realize the appropriate ness of presenting the bear to the new battleship Arizona, to roam its fo'- castle and birth deck and serve that thunder junk" as a mascot.
 The Honorable Max Cavito, Mexico $ Tell-known consul, came down from Bisbee with us as far as Naco Junction and cautioned us to be good and not fall into the Grand Canyon
 The terminus of this trip, the Grand Canyon, has called forth much histor- ical and geological history concern ing the big ditch. Some of it is a long way from being academic in its verbal style and accuracy. One indi- vidual who palpably has been monky- ing with an encyclopedia. says it was discovered in 1640 by Fernando All icon; but Chicken Dick is willing to bet his seat in Paradise against the hole in doughnut that said individual and ehe encyclopedia are strongly i'm pregnated with prunes,
 He says that although he has for gotten who discovered the river. upon oE7 return to Bisbee he will prove that Alicon had nothing to do with it, by the testimony of Uncle Billy Plaster, who claims to be intimately acquaint- ed with the duck who is the bona ide discoverer.
 In reply to the assertion that the for nation of the canyon consists of pal oozoic and mesozoic strata. raised to its present position during the eocene epoch, Chicken Dick" opposes no specific facts. Uncle Billy Plaster possibly can not remember that far back; nevertheless, Dick says we will have to show him.
 Chicken Dick" and your correspond ent are in a state of mental perturba- ton concerning some of the more ab- struse details of department and per sonal appearance required in the mo mentous presence of the nations cor. ral boss Dick says 1t is custom ary and au fait to thump him on the back and inquire how he's Stacking up," but we incline to the belief that some milder method of greeting. such as 'fs your father working?" would be preferable.
 Will the society editor of the Re view please wire the required informa ton to the Grand Canyon? We de sire to make no unseemly breaks and thereby disgrace Arizona and prevent 1t from getting statehood.
 After much heated argument w have arrived at the conclusion that il is not essential that we wear neckties Some one said it was Indispensable and that Lem Shattuck wore one near r. half an hour the day he was mar reid but as the assertion is not cor roborated by any responsible persoI we have concluded to make our debu 1- ohcx-o ~4ofad Mora anon