The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-05
IT IS WORRY THAT KILLS.

The most difficult and exacting du-
+ies of wife and mother, says a writer
IN the New York Evening Post, are
light to a peaceful, happy heart, up
held by belief that she is doing the
hest possible, and that she has the love
ard approval of those for whom she
Iabors. But when there comes a time
which is full of questioning doubt,
"yhy did you do this? Why in the
world did you do that?" between re-
nroof for doing and reproach for leav-
ing undone, and unsympatehtic misun-
Outstanding of purpose and action, the
most devoted spirit loses power, and
the most loving heart aches.
Strange to say. this sort of friction
is not impossible where love is earnest
and sincere. Fault-finding really be-
comes a habit in some households,
and an immediate contradiction in
stinctive. Members of sincerely at
tached families gradually spoil their
whole social life and cease to have any
Joyous intercourse, simply by the de-
eaructive power of a friction which is
ssnseless and has no cause but an I'M
accountable ueHuency 70 contradict
and criticise.
1T is not work that kills men, it is
worry. 1t is not the revolution that
DESTROYS the machinery, but the fric-
ZION" said Mr.. Beecher. Many a worn
and dispirited head of her household
might tell us: 1T is not what 1 have
done to-day, that makes me so weary;
il is the sense that nothing has been
satisfactory and that no one trusts my
Judgment"
Blessed, indeed. is she to whom her
nearest and dearest turn with conf
dence that the touch of her hand
means success. and that the ordering
of her wise thouhgt insures right re-
suits That wonderful picture which
Solomon drew of her TO whom even
her maidens looked with readiness to
obey the law, is not touched with too
strong hand, nor too deep color to
depict the sincere beauty of that wom-
ans life who labors on, upheld by the
approval of her family and her de-
pendents
Coarse-f1bred natures may struggle
forward, fighting their way to the
maintenance of a vigorous rule in
their domains, and seem no worse for
having to scold and upbraid and argue
over every event in the daily life or
the household, but the work of de-
struction goes on unseen. Graciousness
uplift of mutual sympathetic action Is
gone and the woman who might have
been a magnet grows into an unlovely
personality who has forfeited her
crown.
And we must not forget what a
home, so ruled, does for a man. For
when he is mentally exhausted ana
comes, with a brain tingling with the
irritating events of his days work, to
sit down to his dinner table, and hears
dissenting voices, growing high-pitched
and strident as they argue, he must
inevitably receive an injury more Sc
rious than if his family set a STUN
bling block for his weary feet. Diges-
ton too often waits on cheerfulness to
supply it with energy, and the feast
on which even a cordon-bleu mas eXer-
cised his highest skill, neither charms
the palate nor builds up the wasted
energies while the mother is reproach-
ing her sons, and the daughters are
disputng over trivial facts of no value
to any creature in the world,
Many gray head, many a STOPPING
shoulder. shows the result of a life
which is divided between too strenu-
Gus labor in the routine of commercial
or professional life, and the fret and
friction of a family that may yet feel
truly bereaved when the collapse
comes. The never rested machinery
VI HedTk ana Drain STANDS sui, duu
they who weep, wonder what should
have cut him off in mid-career. Total
ly unconscious of what they were do
ing, undisciplined and unrestrained
natures have destroyed not only the
grace of their own lives, but worn out,
as sharp-toothed saws wear, the fibre
and strength of the heart they fam
cied they loved faithfully.
And moving inward from the ex-
tended circle of the family, whose di
vided and diffused interests hinder our
perception Of the evil accomplished, let
US look at the father and mother, the
husband and wife from whose united
strength and love should emanate the
radiating vitality on which domestic
in half the married pairs? Standing
shoulder to shoulder they are yet ac-
complishing little for each other and
less for the children born of their
plghted love. Each wasting all the
force Of will and wit in striving 70
draw the other into an unwelcome
path; each trying to compel the other
to effect their mutual purpose by
plan of their own.
Many and many a man and woman
absolutely thWart and benumb every
faculty for good. possessed by their
wives and husbands, by contending
over every proposition which is orig
u.
ing, not having that point of view
the natural propensity is to call in
question the wisdom, the good sense,
the propriety, the reasonableness of
things outside of either their experience
or comprehension. The mere fact OF
cleVerness does not entitle woman TO
sit in judgment upon things outside
her knowledge and frequently only to
be understood by minds educated on
the subject by special training. All
the learning of the schools, all the as
tuteness "of a Daniel come to judg-
ment," does not fit a man to diagnose
the source of domestic difficulties or
decide all the methods of governing
and disciplining the children, whom
ne sees for perhaps an hour in the
cay, and if he is not a too ardent lover
or sport" two or three more on Sun
day
What are they married for, this
feminine nature and mind and this
masculine nature and mind, but to
complete the unity of those qualities
which are equally necessary to a per-
tect home? Why not trust that the
woman has her own field of superior
knowledge, and the man his place,
about which there should be no con-
tention of administration and provision
and strong defense?
IN ~