River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-10-08
DeadwoOd
Copyright, 1903, BY Daily Story Pub. co..

BRYANT thought it quite funny
when he put at the top of
hIs letterheads stipulation in regard
to the size of performers dressing
room and hotel trunks and the condi-
tions: Trunks at hotels twice
week. No dogs or guns carried. No
deadwood permitted" In spite of
Bryant's rule and resolution he did
have to carry some deadwood, and it
came about through the necessity OF
engaging an equestrienne.
Bryant had no standing in the circus
business and was despised by artists
and managers alike Stolid and mer-
cenary, he had a cuticle like rhinoc-
eros and when the comments of others
reached his ears he laughed at the I'M
complimentary criticisms, when man
of finer feelings would have blushed
for very shame.
One spring Bryant found himself at
a very late day minus that all impor-
tant feature, lady rider, as already
stated. Several had applied, been
turned down and put off, or, better
said, bluffed in the standard Bryant
pinch he did not advertise or conide
his imperative necessity to his agents,
but doggedly declared obtusely:
'"The show will go out, rider or no
rider"
One afternoon he had caller. 1t
was Flora IRVINE, a rider of repute and
physical charms, and to the managers
establishment her mission was to Sc
cure an engagement.
II thought you was engaged?" said
Bryant, as soon as the visitor made
known her errand.
Il cancelled" was the reply.
"Because?"
Because / am married"
"Oh, ho!" exclaimed Bryant, mis-
trusting the reason of the cancella-
ton. us your husband in the bust
ness?"
The euuestrienne bit her lip before
she answered, hesitated while Bryant
looked upon her with something be-
tween a glare and grin:
MY husband is not in the bust
ness
Il thought as much,' blurted Bryant,
coarsely, and then he quickly recov-
cred himself and remarked apologet-
ically: Excuse me-"
An awkward pause followed. the Wis
itor quietly breaking the ice anew:
II learned that you were without
rider and thought / would call"
The manager cut her off with the
blunt statement:
II don't carry any deadwood with
my trick, / don't"
"Deadwood!" repeated the eques-
trienne.
Yes" drawled the manager.
''Dead-wood, deadwood!" With that
he pushed letterhead into his callers
hands. with his finger indicating the
conditions.
''Then | might as well be going"
observed the eQuestrienne. BY the
time that she had gained her feet he
had interposed request. for her to
remain:
Wait a leetle."
Bryant was not fool enough to throw
away last chance, and he fastened to
say, with an effort to conciliate:
"P'raps we might make dicker an
include the-the-~er your husband:
that is, if you make the figure right
(Foxy Bryant never lost sight of the
dollar) 'Twould lie nard to spoil your
honeymoon, wouldn't it? Ha. hat"
(the visitor smiled noD Bryant
leered and chuckled. I'm a widower,
you know, but / never dreamt that
YOU had an idea of matTimony"
The visitor looked grave and Offend
ed. whereat the manager ceased his
distasteful banter and proceeded to
business, a deal was made and it is
scarcely necessary to state that Bryant
took considerable advantage of the
situation AS the equestrienne was de-
parting with her contract the manager
remarked:
IT hope that while your husband is
with the show he will pick up some
thing of the trade and not be excess
baggage all the season.
When Milton Folsom came on with
his wife for rehearsals be got the cold
shoulder both from the manager and
the performers. Even the animal
keepers, grooms. canvasmen and
razorbacks pointed him out as Flora
Ervine's deadwood. The performers
were especially severe in their COM
ments Said the first singing clown
the oracle of the dressing-room:
why, the chappie don't know
enough to even keep up her horses
Cor groom them" added a grotesque
who always confirmed the oracle's
opinions.