The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-30
THE NONPAREIL MAN

THE NONPAREIL MAN
Casually Observed. q.
The Red Cross society thoughtfuily hes
itates between Macedonia and the foot
ball season at home
A La Crosse cheese concern tried tos
corner the product-and now owns $500, 600
worth Of cheese, a nnitey load to carry
into the winter. -
a trust is working in ,the-lifnb business.
and cork legs arc advancing rapidly in
price. Look out you don't put your foot
in it. u %
well. said the file after the carpen-s
ter had gone home, II must say that this
strenuous life crates on me- go
Then the Spirit Level knocked twice in
the cabinet, tilted the table and groaned
a few times. Il
AT the state convention Of the w. c. IT.
U. at Hannibal, Mo-, there were hot par-i
liamentary chickering's and the exchange
of feminine amenities Then, for "a mo-
ment or two all business stopped and
many of the delegates wept. You may
remember that during the republican con-
vention, Senator4ITeller. of Colorado did
a weep, but he was thrown down just the
same. We grieve with the ladies, but a
majority is majority in spite of tears.
A University of Chicago professors
thinks that the words of Mother Goose
ought to be revised. Here is almighty life
work for some well endowed chair in:
Mr.. Rockefeller's deep fount of. slearn-'
ing. E '1.5
The girls at Elroy, Wis, like to see thes
! trains come in with the Gideons on thema
Fhe. other day, says the Eiroy Tribune q;
man left his family5on the train and went.
into the depot to buy a ticket He suc-i
ceeded in running the blockade Of girls
in the: doorway to get inside: But after
purchasing his tickets the jam of girls
in the; doorway had been augmented to
such, an extent that the gentleman could.
| not get thru in: time to catch his
| train. Where there isn't, much doing:
| it is pretty exciting to see the train come.
| in. You are right, girls. tszsSs 'saEf
sd - z%::ft ~.7 ----s*s-t &555E:- x
| GAINESVILLE, Wis, complains f1"couples'
who sit on the steps of the schoolhouse
and kiss one another so loudly as to be a
nuisance. Il; Persons living near school
| buildings complain that the noisy soscula-
| ton prevents their sleeping at night. An
officer who investigated says that he
found onc or TWO couples on every STEP.
| The school board ought to see to it that
the steps are warmed during the winter
| months. :; - n Z
We were mistaken the other day in say
ing it was doctor. 1t was the Rev Merle
ST. *Croix Wright at the banquet of the
| New. York State medical association, who
! made the plea for the doctrine Of killing
in dealing with ,incurab1es..% The Rev. Mr.
Wright also desired to fhave incurable
idiots, killed. s. His doctrine / is called
no 10 1a1
SO gently: and so easily that he doesn't
know it.Etz!h "a 50.
!. Some one else has suggested that over
i aged: rgymen might be killed. but the
was not at the time taken seri-i
:L:ously.; Possibly, the Rev. Mr. Wright
might broaden his doctrine to- take then,
in. Then there are old people who have
]:retired from business land VINO are liv-
ing comfortably on their money, said
money being thus boarded. = These people
might be killed and the money again find
it's way into the channels of trade.
The suggestion of pensioning old rail-
road men and schools teachers who have
| taught twenty-five years also seems SUI
perfous in the light of the Rev. Mr.,
Wright's discovery. Let us kill our old
! railroad men and school teachers. Doubt
less they would thank us. How beautiful
/ is .dea tn. especially the death of the-to
us---superhuous. Arise brethren let us
Kill. - :
Sure, football is a religious exercise!
At, a mass meeting of the st<Teslts ct
Northwestern university -underlthe: auss
, said: toS~ =" |'$~ e. :
j < Everybody nowadays has ceased to be-
rate football. The rough features of the
game have been. largely eliminated. But
I wish to add that football is a great help
al in religious duty. I have known divinity
tl1Hn re WIN at in he MAJ of
theological thought, when all they needed
, to- clear their minds was a scrimmage on
the football field or a run about the Gin
der track. As a cure for clouded relig-
ious thought football and similar athletic
exercises: have a truly wonderful effect"
+ Is your religious thought -clouded? Go
! out on the raucous gridiron and let some
4 earnest young giant break your collar
, bone. Dean Holgate's praise Of football
brought mad cheers. from the undergradu-
ates and "theologues.'' Then Professor
f George A. Coe added this word CT en-
: enlargement and enlightenment:
! 81 agree with. Professor Hogate that
! football is an aid to religious study. It
. is: I believe; an almost invaluablc aid to
q religion. It clears the mind, assists rapid
e thinking. and iulparts a healthy moral
s tone to those who engage in it.
s We would like. to see DR.. Dewie carry
! ing the pig skin CALAMITY thru the tackle
t with Halfbacks Parkhurst and Dr. Buck
ley supporting the line 1t would as Pro-
fessor Coe so truly says ''be an almost In
s valuable aid to religion
i Benton Harbor Mich. is having troubls
with people who have curious ideas in rs
e ligion.' There is not only Bro Dowie's
: little flock there, but there are the Fly
: ing. Rollers" Both these bodies advocate
: the growth of long hair on the head and
Il face man who shaves his face or
: cuts his hair does not fly very high with
e the Flying Rollers. Naturally the BARRIERS
~ were, the first to take the alarm. If the
!: Flying Roll. principles prevail, the barber
i business is "a good deal In the position
I of "A pumpkin Hence the BARRIERS have
had printed and now display in their win
. dows this text from Paul's letter to the
u Corinthians: .s---
: Doth not nature itself teach you that II
a man have long hair it is a shame unto
= him.
When I went to school the boys used
: to have an idea that cent, if buried in
r some particularly favored locality, would
d grow. When Shorty Hitchcock saw Spot
Maloney at recess he took him over. to q
corner of. the schoolhouse yard and tho
!, following conversation took place: 80.
"Say, Spot, let's go up in the woods
: after school an bury cent in the corner
4 of the pasture lot" - ~ 72s-:@e
: '.Whaffor?" -. @-=,,s -
r, Gosh, didn't you know that cert