The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-03-01

hers. Misther Bliggs expicts to spind some time in tn north when he will consult a prominent sur geon an have tn feathers ex- thracted.
 But tn throuble with this plan is that tn higher ye boost tn nay gur be askin' him up to tn White House, tn farther he has to fall whin he gets about two blocks south iv tn White House. Wan iv our dusky fellow citizens comes out firm a meal with tn Prisident an cake walks to a car. He is not puffed up with tn rayciption. Not at all Tn av'rage chest measuremint iv a colored gintle- man who has had three or four fish balls with tn Prisident is rarely over wan hundherd an eighty inches So he modestly puts his feet In tn lap iv tn lady acrost firm him an says in difer- inchal yell to a confidrate cononel nex' to him White pusson give this here frind iv tn Prisident a light firm ye'er see-gar." An whin he comes to his leg is on fire.
 Me frinds down south don't be- lieve in this way iv ilivatin' tn coon. They have ways iv their own. They think naygur ought to be improved slowly. Tn slow CT tn betther. l was a-readin a speech be wan iv thim tn other IIr question. Like all southern men he admitted that something was to be said on both sides. He did not boast iv his siction iv tn counthry A thrue southernei niver does. It wud i'll become him to suggist that tn south is amy thing more thin tn fairest spot on Gawd's footstool, inhabited be tn bravest men, tn loveliest an mos varchous women, tn most toothsome an encouragin' booze an tn fastest ponies in tn wurruld. Let others tell iv tn beauties iv tn south. Ye will not dhraw tn tale firm tn lips iv southern man. Aven in his cups he scorns ti give more thin three cheers a minyit fir tn gloryous state iy Mississippi. A Masa- choosetts man will hit ye over tn head with a codfsh if ye don't say that Massachusetts, is tn mos nos ble jool in tn bright girdle on tn brow iv Columbia. Ye cant go into a bar-room without seein' man sthandin on table an yell in fir New Hampshire. Eight or nine bartinders was shot las year fir rayfusin to sing: q was bor-rn in ol' Ohio where tn dhrinkin' wather's blue" But a southern man is rayluctant to speak iv his home. He laves 1t speak f'r itself, an if ye don't lis ten he merely nudges ye in tn ribs familyarly with knife.
 "So this here reprisintive iv tn culture an civvylization iv tn south begun his speech with cautious allusion to tn we'll known fact that tn south is tn bravest tn freest, tn sunniest, tn mos intellecnool region iv tn counthry, peopled be tn mos chivalrous men an tn sweetest women that tn green light iv hivin iyer fnown down upon, where tn latch stirring is always out to welcome sthrangers to a hospital cheer an no wan is touchy about his r-rights He wint on firm this here bald state mint iv fact to say: 'Th' thruth iv tn matther is there is no race question. Tn toast iv tn evenin' is tn Day we Cillybrate or Tn, Ladies, Gawd Bless Thin, or tn Pin is Mightier than tn Soord, but I feel bound at this moment to address a few wurruds to tn race question, iy which there is none, but it is tn wan question that confronts tn nation today. We have in tn White House a man who if he iver comes south iv tn Mason and Dixon line will be subjicted to indignity worthy iv his office. l yield to no man in admiration iv tn office iv Prisi- dint iv this nited counthry-unlted