New-York tribune., 1903-07-06

been for others But when they gave him this
letter he knew at least that her last thoughts
had been Of him That was FIVE. nearly six
years ago now. 1t was strange. this word of his
mothers coming TO him. unheard by any one
else. across the spaces OF six years. This. which
he was about to read, she had left him for a
little piece Of herself. What had she chosen to
say to hirn-counsel. denunciation, revelation or
perhaps-praise?
You are going TO begin your life tomorrow:
1 am leaving mine behind me to-day. Francis.
Will it help you 10 know that you were good
to me?' II his mother should say that,
His heart was warm within him at the thought.
That message would nerve man for life would
it not? Had he been good to her? At
least he felt that he had not been evil He did
not pray for forgetfulness Of what he had dane;
but then there was the other half OF the petit
ton: had he left anything undone? The answer
not so ready this time. Yet he
that he had been. the whole good son. and
his heart Ieaped VI when he remembered how
he loved his mother. She had married so early
in life that there were only twenty years be-
tween her and her son: yet her hair was snow
white when she died, and even earlier he could
recall it in the freight, when she used to sit in
her chair with him at her knees, his head in her
lap while she stroked his head and told him
stories Of his father, who had died when Francis
z
the gentleness OF her face she talked How
he loved his mother! Surely she could not be
about to scold him nowl Slowly he took out the
letter and began 70 read.
MY dearest as I write you are far away from
me- but when you read this you will below
much further! I am going to die Just how
soon do not know. but think very soon We
shall not often see each other again, I am
afraid"-had they ever seen each other, Brad
ford wondered, after she wrote that2-"and even
II we should. have something TO tell you which
do not wish to tell you while am alive. Just
now IT viii do you no good possibly even harm.
and 1t would cause you suffering. Yet you
ought some time to know. So I am writing this.
which you will not see until am gone. and you
are ready to begin your work IN life.
You are going to be lawyer and hope you
will be, not necessarily a great one. but good
one. know that the life is hard at first. but
you will have it made easier for you than many
have. easier. indeed. than your life is now
while am alive, for the 5000 a year which I
have remaining will Of course, go to you. I am
glad. dearest, that you not going to endure
hardships, and yet I not altogether sure
sometimes that 10 escape hardships is wisest
for any OF US. II this money, which will come
in so steadily without your troubling yourself
about 1t, should make you less energetic. less
ambitious. less eager in your pursuit Of the
very best that is TO be got out OF life. should
feel-no I viii say shall feel. for know that
shall be permitted to watch you'll do not care
how happy heaven may BE- I shall feel un-
happy; I shall feel sorry that you did not have
actual necessity TO force you forward. am
not afraid that you will do anything TO make
me unhappy. any more than you have ever
done; but sometimes, dear little afraid
that you will not care enough about doing some
thing to make me glad
And now must tell you what no one else
knows and not even you should know II IL were
not that I hope il may help you little as
well as pain you. I have begun TO write you
this many times but have always stopped
when I came 70 this point for it seems to me
as If I could not go on. and yet as II must
, It is about your father
You did not know that your father was not 4
happy man You were too young when he died
to remember him we'll. and he was so careful
before you and all the world not 70 show exact
~ what he thought that you would. perhaps
not have guessed at his unhappiness. even If
you had been older But knew it. OF course
| And I knew too. what no one else earth
suspects-no one till you read this. Your father
Il must tell you bluntly, or I cannot tell you
at all-he was not drowned by accident, as they
have always thought. He killed himself and
he did IL because he feared that he was going
| insane.
7 have told you very often how he and three
Of his friends went out in little yacht on Lake
| Onondaga- The wind was strong. but nothing
I dangerous. As the boat turned the boom swung
round knocking your father overheard as they
all thought They thought he must been
stunned. They did not see him come 70 the
surface. and in any case none Of them could
swim. So they lost him Later his body was
found and. though it was thought surprising
that there were no bruises on his forehead. they
concluded that he must have been hurt in some
fashion. No one ever hinted at suicide He was
popular. and he was not poor. and he was
thought 70 be very happy. Yes. none Of them
dreamed Of intention except me I was as Ger
tain, when they brought me the news Of his
death, that he had killed himself-as certain as
I was the next morning when had the letter
he himself had posted before he left the shore.
His planning Of IL was deliberate and very
ike him He had been very careful for us-yoU
and me-and for all his relations: he had taken
every precaution which would make death Ger
tain and yet apparently quite accidental When
he organized the party he asked only men whom
he knew could not swim He gave one Of them
the tiIler. took the position he had planned TO
take. and waited, and when the minute came
he went 70 his death as quietly as II he had been
going TO sleep But, for all his care he wanted
me TO know-nobody else but me Till now no
one else has ever known When the mail
brought me the letter in the morning I was so
sure, even before opened II. what he had writ
ten that I might have burned 1t without read
ing it, and still I should have known all know
now. I knew your father. dear. you see.
DO you wonder. Francis. why I telling
this 10 you now? So much as have already
written you had right to know This much,