The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1903-10-29
Communicated.

EDITOR GOLD LEAF:-The following let
ter was dropped in the street and found
by me, but without any address. Per-
haps if you would publish it Aunt Mary
would be pleased to hear from her
nephew and might send him valuable
advice CONSTANT READER.
DEAR AUNT MARY:-I thot | wood rite
you these few lines to let you no haow
we be, hopin you mought be the same
The family is mostly well as usuil cept
Henderson Vance - he's been havin'
spasms.
Sometime ago he had spasms. but pa
lowed if he were let alone. as he was a.
growing and got good CONSTRUCTION,
he'd get over 'em. An he did for some
time, and heis kept on CROWN and seems
as healthy as most children. Howsomever
he do have naOw and again. spasm.
THE last spasm he had, that was the
one before this, pa lowed he'd call in the
dokter and find aout what mought be
the matter. So the dokters We're called
in an all met together up in Pas best
parlor in Cooper's Opery Haouse.
There was doc Cooper and doe Parker
the Drug Store man-and doc Bridgers
and most all the does in town of emmy
count. an they talked an they talked an
felt of Henderson Vance's pulls an they
finally come ter the conclusion that
Henderson Nances bowels were fowl an
needed cleanin aout, or else he wood go
on an have a fever. An so after havin
tew or three meetins and consultins they
subscribed for him what they called a
SOOer
''Naow Pa is kinder slow in gettin an
action on him, and afOre he had a good
10 ~ lln,l
for, Henderson Vance he had ernuther
spasm and all the dokters were called in
ergin, an this time. comm so soon after
the last spasm, Pa he got reel skeered an
asst all the preachers to come along with
the dokters. So all the preachers an the
dokters cOlloqued together and talked
an talked. Sum of the preachers didn't
agree with the dokters and sum of them
talked pretty sassy. Preacher Williams
just talked like fury to doe Barney Brill,
and doc Sandy Mills, cullud pusson
who had his idees erbOut the meddisine
good fer this speshuil spasm. Finally
they most of EN- agreed that in addishun
tn unclean bowels Henderson Vance had
been drinkin tew much corn juice for a
CROWN boy. Ye no haOw fond of corn
juice Henderson Vance is But these
dokters an preachers couldn't all agree
as tn what should be done Some of EN-
were fer takin the corn JUICE away from
him alltergether an tiein his hands an
feet SO he cOodn't get emmy at all, and
some thOut he'd git erlOng better tn give
him a leetle now an then an have Pa
keep his eye on him leetle closter an
on EN- that sold him the stuff. Well, they
collogued an they talked-sum were fer
this an sum were fer that, but finally
sum of the dokters an all the preachers
sed they might try new meddersin that
grew daOwn in South Callina an which
was just naow bein used good deal in
cases like Henderson Vance's. 1t made a
kind of whitewash and was called Dispen-
sorry. 1t is curious kind of meddersin.
Its effeck is to whitewash the hands of
them that give the meddersin, but it
don't have much effeck on the man that
takes the corn JUICE. (Naow, that's just
sum dOkters an preachers fer all the
wOrld). After while they cOnclOOded
tn vote an see whether Whitewash Dis
pensorry shoOd be the meddersin Or not
an the vote was that it shOod. SO naOw,
just as soon as Pa can get the materils
Henderson Vance will have to take his
dose, an Pa will git whitewashed ever
time he gives it. We are all hOpin it will
du him good, but ole Aunt Cindy says
she don't bleve in emmy such durn foolin ;,
an she's brot up lots er Children an ort tn
no. If Henderson Vance should have
ernuther spasm soon du rite us Aunt
Mary what in the world we shOod du.
"Your lOvin neffew,
'SHUCkS.'