davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
An Awful Shrinkage.

Commissioner West, of the District Of Column
bia, tells of an amusing mistake made by a
German who keeps notion store at the national
capital.
One day a man from the assessors Office went
into the Germans store official business.
AS the two had speaking acquaintance the
caller took it for granted that the Teuton knew
for what purpose the call was made. He was
somewhat surprised when the storekeeper pro-
ceeded to dilate the value of the stock he
carried.
Der finest in der city," said the German.
Worth not less as $4,000"
'.Wel. Wen put it down at that" said the
assessors
.'sure!' exclaimed the storekeeper. do it;
you make no misdakep
There was wailing and crashing Of teeth and
loud lamentation when the proprietor OF the
store learned later that he taxed on $4,000.
He posted with all possible speed to the assess
or's office.
''vat is diss?" he asked. wildly. DE stock
as $780,
He was politely informed that the records of
the Office showed that he himself had given the
figures to the assessors man. To this the Teuton
entered q most vehement denial, and the witness
was called
Colt in himmeIl' he gasped. when he saw
the assessors man. 'Iss he your PEBBLES? Ach,
und 1 drinks me all de time he vas by Brad
street's!''-New York Press
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
MARK TWAIN'S CONTRACT.
He Has Made Permanent Arrange
ment with His Publishers.
Literary Bulletin.


Mark Twain and Harper e. Bros. re-
Gently signed a contract whereby the Har-
pers have acquired exclusive rights of pub
Iication in all present and future books of
the great humorist, including his projected
autobiography. After an experience of
thirty-seven years." said Mark Twain. in
speaking of the new contract, Il have come
10 the conclusion that the only way an
author can make money is to keep all his
books in one publishing house" Americans
generally, who have a patriotic pride in
Mark Twain and the cheerful manner in
which he has met many financial changes.
will be glad TO hear him say that the ar
rangement assures TO him and his family
a competency for life
In a farewell talk, prior to his departure
for Italy, where he went for the benefit
of his wife's health, Mark Twain said.
apropos OF this new arrangement:
For three or four weeks now, l have
been bothering over this contract, full Of
strange things about the party of the first
part and the party of the second part, and
/ have never yet been able TO make out
whether l was the party OF the first part.
the party of the second part, or any party
at all Throughout all these four weeks
work my respect for the Divine Creator
has grown week by week, because. while
IL took US a month TO create a contract,
He created the world in only six days
II have found this dealing with lawyers
an expensive undertaking. 1t has cost
me four umbrellas already, to say nothing
of the onslaught upon my morals. L have
done nothing but buy umbrellas and leave
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

A Hopkins man. in early cay, hauled lots
of cordwood and used rawhide harness his
team. Rawhide, all know. expands when
wet and contracts drying out. Well, this
man was hauling exceptionally big load one
day when a thunderstorm overlook him just
he reached long hill leading to his home. He
was walking beside his team that he might pay
close attention to them, and did not notice
what the rain doing for his rawhide har-
ness until the top Of the long hill was reached
when, to his utter amazement, the wagon stood
at the bottom of the HILL the rawhide tugs be-
ing fairly stretched into fiddle strings. He was
puzzled for a moment, but just then the sun
came out and happy idea found Judgment in
his fertile brain. He unhitched the team, fas-
tened the tugs securely around big tree and
went in to dinner. When he returned the sun
had caused the rawhide to contract sufficiently
to bring the wagon up that steep hill with a
momentum that smashed both front wheels when
it came in contact with the tree around which
the tugs had been fastened.-Hopkins CIo)
Journal.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
Mr.. Hoar's Change of Front.

few years ago Mr.. Hoar demanded that we
recognize the republic set up in the Philippines
by Aguinaldo The republic not recognized
for very good reasons that schoolbOys are now
familiar with. To-day Mr.. Hoar is making
strong objections to the recognition of republic
in Central America. Why this change of atti-
tude in the matter of recognition? The Panama
Republic is in every way entitled to the same
recognition that was accorded to Peru and other
new republics 10 the south of US. There is no
war in the isthmus Everything is peaceful.
The populace is united in its desire for the in
dependence it now holds its right. Conditions
are directly opposite from those prevailing in
the Philippines at the time Mr.. Hoar proclaimed
a new George washington as being located some
where in the jungles of Luzon. IL it happens
that the recognition Of the Republic Of Panama
results in benefit to this Republic well as
the people of Panama, well and good It is a
business proposition. No amount OF high-sound-
ing talk will change the situation or make the
business end OF the affair less potent in the
American ind-Marion Qnd.) News Tribune
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

George J. Langsdale, who died yesterday
after a lingering illness, was honorably
identified with the public affairs of Indiana
in many ways, but his greatest work was
originating and carrying through the move
ment for the soldiers and sailors monu-
ment. He may not have been the first to
suggest the idea of such monument, but
he first gave a practical expression, carried
it to a point where the Legislature adopted
it, and then followed it with untring zeal
to completion. Others contributed to the
work. but he might we'll be called the
Father of the Monument.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
CHURCH AFFAIRS.


One of the neatest advertising monopolies in
tories. You can't go into a hotel anywhere
without seeing on the wall in a conspicuous
place, for the convenience of guests, such
directory framed in walnut oak. 1t is
changed annually and kept up to date. No one
has ever interfered with this monopoly. 1
doubt if any one ever thought of It, Each
church pays SO a There 100000
churches in the United States, and If all were
to pay $40 the gross income would be s., 600 OOO
As an actual fact, 1 told that the two
Quakers who control this directory business
make $4,000 year. A great many churches in
small towns don't advertise.-Collier's Weekly
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

TENS and by the Standard oil Company and
some other large corporations.
The railroad companies which have
adopted the pension system do not pre-
tend that it is purely philanthropic. They
believe that money spent in benehting their
employees. or holding out the prospect Of
benefit and in gaining their good will. is a
good financial investment. Undoubtedly
the effect will be to raise the average eff
cheney and faithfulness of employees, TO
give permanence TO labor contracts and
establish better relations between en-
ployers and employees. Incidentally this will
tend TO lessen strikes. What effect it will
have on labor unions remains to be seen.
As it seems TO make the interest of wage
earners lie in a different direction from
antagonizing employers the unions may OPP
pose it,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

them in my lawyers Office The other day
| stopped az one of the umbrella counters
in a big downtown office building where
there were three piles OF umbrellas one
pile was marked 81, the second pile g. and
the third pile marked So / did not
look beyond the third pile because this
contract was not yet signed and | was
not certain how much money / could az
ford to spend 1 said to the man in charge
OF the umbrellas, i am a stranger from
west of the Mississippi, all unused 10 the
effete ways OF the East. I came from ghe
wild and hoping West and / appeal to you,
as man TO man, whether I'm your Judgment.
you being Eastern man, and / "A stran-
ger on his first visit 10 your great city.
you would advise me TO buy this 81 umbrel-
Ia for 81. the 81 umbrella for 81 or the
s. umbrella for So? l ask you this as a
pilgrim and "A stranger And the man
looking me. straight In the eye. said AS
man TO man, and speaking heart TO heart
to you, stranger, l would advise YOU to
buy the s. umbrella-Mr. Mark Twain
(which shows that a man with "A IA So
can't get away from it-eYen III he has
become honest enough 20 buy his own um-
brellas That is the trouble with me.
can't fool anybody 1 am too pure too
innocent Everybody takes advantage of
my innocence. IL Is a mighty good thing
was not born girl.
Il am going abroad and may never see
my fellow Americans again I'm this life and
1 hope for their sakes, not in the next!''
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
How He Saves Money.

lone of the most successful business men of
my acquaintance" said the drummer lis a liv-
ing example Of the old adage: Take care of
the pennies and the dollars will take of
YOU L don't pretend TO know how much he
saves in postage every year. but IL must be
considerable. A great deal of his business is
done by mail, and it doesn't make any differ
what the weight is, he never puts more
than 2 cents in postage on it, 1t all goes as
first-cass matter, and whatever is due must
be collected at the other end. He tells me that
not one person in ten neglects to pay the excess
postage, and he figures 1t out that he Is away
ahead on the item of postage at the years end"
PHILADELPHIA Record
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
Prizes for Bible Students.

Miss Helen Gould, Of Iryington, N. Y, offered
three prizes 81. OO0 $500 and $3.50 for the first
second and third best essays the origin and
history of the version of the Bible approved by
the Roman Catholic Church and on the revised
version of the English Bible. The essays should
be sent before March !. 1904. to DR.. w w
White president of the Bible Teachers Training
School. So East Fifty-ffth street New York
city. DR.. White and three of the faculty of
that school are TO be on the committee Of
judges. which is to be enlarged by the addition
of I'VE other members Further information
may be obtained by addressing the president of
the Bible Teachers Training School as above
New York Press
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
Correcting a BIunder.

He given two very important letters to
mall one addressed to Cleveland, o., and the
other to Liverpool. England. AS he about
to place them in the receptacles in the postof-
flee the clerks eagle eye detected that his en-
ployer had made slight mistake He had placed
the scent stamp required for foreign postage
on the Cleveland letter and the 2-cent one on
the Liverpool missive. The alert clerk was. of
course equal TO the emergency and soon had
the matter adjusted all right. Then he fairly
flew down Market street to report the mistake
that had been made to his employer
''You're brick, my boy" said the busy man.
land you don't know how much 1 appreciate
you How did you fix it?''
"Oh. easily he replied. 81 just changed the
addresses philadelphia Telegraph.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
An Appetite story.

'Tve heard about people eating a lot after
they passed through attack of typhoid fever
said the Man with the Cane but bless me, IL
1 thought they could turn themselves into a
storage house. The other day, about lunch time.
1 met friend of mine who just getting
about after attack of the fever 1 asked him
to come with me to lunch. He said he'd had a
late breakfast and didn't feel very hungry, but
1 wanted company, 1 pictured to him neat.
quiet place where could get course dinner
for 81. Well. my friend said he'd go with me,
so we were soon seated at table.
1.-THE dinner was good, and at the end Of the
seventh course L remarked to my convalescent
friend that it was good meal and plenty Of it.
Yes he agreed. Great meal fine, bully
let's have another "-Washington Post.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
Lutherans Make Protest.

The New York and New England ministerial
conference Of the Evangelical Lutheran Zynod
at their regular meeting at Utica, n. Y, this
year, adopted this resolution: THAT we, salts
fed that voicing the sentiment OF all
loyal Americans. do most earnestly and emphat-
ically protest against any action taken by the
President and other public officials with refer
ence 10 the demise of the late Pope whereby
they accorded official recognition of the papacy.
And. further, protest against any act or
move on the part of government officials. high
low irrespective of party affiliations, whereby
the traditional lines separating church and
state might be obliterated and the very pillars
on which rest the glorious liberties of this
country be shaken. ,,-Atlanta Constitution.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

Jan. Z, the Russian Christmas, may
prove to be an important date. 1t is the
date set by Japan as the expiration of the
limit beyond which no answer to her last
diplomatic note viii be received, and dis
patches from Kishineff say it is the date
fixed for another massacre of Jews. Promi-
nent British Jews have been trying to Sc
lean governments to avert the expected
massacre. but the subject is delicate one
TO handle
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

Hon. ]. NJ. Dickinson, of Tennessee,
former assistant attorney general under
President Cleveland. is out in interview
in which he heartily approves of treating
with Panama the only means of insuring
an isthmian canal. He formerly favored the
Nicaragua route, but considers that now
out of the question and the course of the
could have been pursued. 1t is the part of
statesmen TO deal with facts and conditions
as they are.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

a Hungarian stage dancer was sued by
her manager in Budapest for failing to
dance according to contract. AS evidence
of her good faith she danced a few sam
pie dances in the Judges private office.
He decided against her, on the ground that
she did not dance her best in public; but
was so pleased that he proposed marriage
to her. This shows that he was an honor
able and upright judge, for he did not
allows his admiration to color his sense of
Justice
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
A. He Heard IL.

When the Sunday-school superintendent read
the closing words of the Book of Job: and Job
died. being old and full of days" he said to the
children:
death?''
And a timid little boy on back seat piped
out:
He was fully dazed sir!'-New York Times.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
A BATCH OF LITTLE STORIES.
His New Profession.

ragged old hummer struck a West Central
avenue house for a "bit Of food to save life
this morning When the good housewife asked
him If he were a laboring he said no; he
professional man.
"A professional man! What is your profess
sion ?'i
Making ice" he calmly replied. "But got
knocked outen business by the cold weather
trust
He got his 'bit of food and the lady is Won
dering yet whether ice making is or is not a
profession.-Kansas City Journal.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

The exact date of the birth of Jesus is not
known. The method Of dating from his birth
was introduced by Roman abbot named Dyo-
nysius. who calculated that Jesus was born in
the 753d year from the foundation of Rome.
But as Herod the Great, who slaughtered the
babes of Bethlehem in the hope of killing Jesus.
died about four years before that. it is evident
that Dyonysius made mistake Of at least four
years
The day OF our Lords birth is even more un-
certain than the year. The fact that December
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
Goes Co.

hustling promoter named Coe
Was heard at a big cocoa Co.
A native named Koko
Said. Pay what you owe, Coe,
Or give me the Coe Cocoa Co."
He had other projects, had Coe-
Coke ovens were one line, and so
The two coalesced.
Imagine the rest:
"Coe- Koko Coke and Cocoa CO.."
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

Reluctantly King John scrawled his name at
the foot of the document presented to him for
his signature by the barOns.
II realize, gentlemen" he said, with exceed
ing bitterness. that L am only King and
that you have got the bulge me, but if u
the president of a teamsters union I'd
have you fellows your knees before me so
quick It would make your heads swimp'-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
THS INDIANAPOLIS JOURNAL NEWSPAPER co.
IndianapOIis, Ind.

Persons sending the Journal through the mails
In the United States should put an eight-paSe
or q twelve-page paper 1-cent stamp, on six
teen. twenty or twenty four page paper, 2-cent
stamp. Foreign postage Is usually double these
rates
All communications intended for publication In
this paper must, in order 20 receive attention, be
accompanied by the and address of the
writer.
Rejected manuscripts will not be refined I'M
less postage is inclosed for that purpose.
Entered secOnd-class matter at Indianapolis,
Ind, pOstoffice.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
The Thing that Might BE.

II not now, then in the future japan may be
the leaven OF leaven the vast mass Of Chinese
inertia which might hold the fate of eastern
Asia in its power. il il were thoroughly alive
to the movements and conditions of the age.
II that can be done neither Russia nor any
other power of the occident can conquer and
hold the most populous country of the greatest
continent.-Cleveland Leader.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

An outburst of Iawlessness in Alabama on
Saturday night resulted in more damage
than usually follows the efforts even of a
lynching party. n negro charged with
shooting a white man was burned to death
by mob. and the flames of his pyre not
only destroyed the body, but the Jail, eight
stores, two warehouses and the postoffice.
This is the mob's idea of meeting out JUS
fice"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

The British government is not inclined
10 facilitate the ingress OF Christian mis-
sionaries into Thibet The introduction of
a new religion would be more insulting
10 the inhabitants of Lhassa than any
other invasion. commercial or even mill
tary. The Forbidden City is the center
and stronghold OF a great religion. and the
preservation of this faith is the purpose
of the nations exelussveness. The Brit
ish government is wise in its determination,
as nothing but i'll could result from an eff
fort TO introduce Christianity into a coun-
try dedicated TO another ard older faith
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
Honesty.

Deanley-1f you insist upon buying the cigars
here's a good place.
Meanley-No; that fellows not honest; he
tries to do you all the time. There's better
place just around the corner.
Deanley-Does the other fellow keep good
cigars?
Meanley-Better; besides he's a little near
sighted and I work off him half dollar
I've got that's a little off coor.-Cathoc Stand
ard.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
The Dollar and the strinp.

Speaking The Moral Side OF our CORPORA
ton Policy" Judge Grosscua OF Chicago. says
that three I'VE men enter a room. lay
one silver dollar on q table. call IL assets
create capital Of l.0o00el set state seal
on the charter and 90 with the enterprise
We don't like 10 charge United States judge
with inaccuracy, but doesn't Judge GrOSscup
greatly oVerestimate the amount Of cold cash.
even with a string to IL. that il needed for
the creation OF a giant" corporation Every
bOdy's Magazine.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

1t was bad enough for Emperor William
10 decline to grant an audience to Mr..
Bryan, but TO assign so frivolous a reason
as an engagement with his family in Christ
mas festivities was adding insult to injury.
He has probably sacrificed his last chance
or seeing the Peerless one.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

The Hearst papers print a long cable
gram from William Jennings Bryan about
municipal ownership in Glasgow and Bir-
minghan- 1t is a threadbare subject, and
has been better handled by other corre-
spondents than 1t is by William j.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

The Kaiser is said TO have picked out
Princess Margaret of Connaught as a wife
for the Crown Prince Of Germany. The
prince himself is not enthusiastic about
this choice, he is already in love with
another" but the prince has not been
consulted in the matter. Royal matches
are not directed by such trivial things as
love affairs
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

One of the greatest mutual admiration
schemes ever devised is 1.-THE American
Cartoonist.' the holiday number of which
is just published. The poets and jokers
write the praises of the artists, and the
artists draw pictures of the poets and
iokers. This plan was christened Log
rolling by a great Englshman, and it is a
wonderful thing if done artisticaIly-as in
this case il is.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

DIR. Joseph Mcmahon. of the Cathedral
Literary Society. New York, declares that
the dress OF the times indicates the stand
ard OF public morality. and that. accepting
this standard. ne believes present-day NOR
atty 10 be at a low ebb. In the most de-
gowns Of women were not nearly so low,
50 given 10 falling away. as is considered
good form IN society to-day" To what
set does the doctor refer as society,"
Certainly his statement is not true as APP
nlled TO any respectable circleA tn this part
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

In order to be independent of the great
packing houses John Alexander Dowie
proposes to fatten his own steers for the
use of Zion. The modern Elijah does not
believe in depending on the ravens for sus-
tenance.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

DR.. Lindsey. a st. Louis minister, al
ludes TO St. Louis ''Satan's Seat" and
denounces it as the wickedest in the United
States. The promoters of the worlds fair
however, merely regard his outburst as
an advertisement which will attract thou
sands of visitors next year.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28

An Illinois parallel to the Rising Sun
tragedy was enacted last week, and later
events serve to make the coincidence more
remarkable A Mount Carmel woman
WIS Strictly the head, the assassin firing
through a window into the house. The
bullet from the murdered woman's head
was found to fit a rifle belonging to her
son, and the latter was arrested.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-28
Not for Young Girls.

Innocent A. Broad-NIother. the Scarlet
Varet' must be a fine show. 1t broke the rec
ords for attendance in New York, so we ought
go il.
Mrs. Broad-Daughter such successful shows
cannot be such that a young girl ought to see.
Pennsylvania Punch Bowl.