The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-01-17
THE POLITICAL MOTHER GOOSE.

he shicd IN his caster, got the 1oD ne was
And said: "A fine speaker am T."
Frank Grimes has quit his statesman's job,
He's counting bonds no more;
/ He's making shirts of latest style,
All buttoned down before.
Kinsley has a senator.
] They call him Dumont Smith;
He came to Copeland county
And Immediately forthwith
A sneak thief took his wallet.
And now, for brevity and pith
/ His names been pruned and shortened
To just "Du" Smith
Job hunters and schemes, the setting of
When mans governor his trouble begins.
There was a colonel named Veal.
/ Who displayed unmistal<abl zeal
In making janitors labor,
The senate thought it a favor,
| And passed resolution fifteen.
In his philippe to the police DR.. ]. T.
/ Mcfarland made the startling an
nouncement that he had never been in
sympathy with Mrs. Nations mode OF
procedure against the evil rum. AS this
same minister was at one time known
as Colonel Mcfarland, because he
was the head end and commander OF an
organization of LOCO members, which
was recruited and mustered in for the
sole purpose of moving on the joints,
this statement was startling, but the
secrets of that smashing brigade have
at last been uncovered.
/ It has been stated by one who knows
4 that Col. Mcfarland accepted the mill
/ tary title in order that he might put
down the rebellion The first shot on
/ Fort Sumter was never fred in that
\ conflict 1t came about in this wise:
I DR.. Mcfarland allowed himself to be
elected colonel so his friends say, so
/ that he would be able to avert blood
shed and riot This happened in Feb
ruary, 1901. and in that month the Their
mOmeter got down. to p de=rees below
zero a few times and hung Whereabouts
for quite awhile. The elements were in
/ league with Col. Mcfarland who had
/ the regiment of q thousand men, with
( its captains, majors, neutenants. ser
geants and eorpOralS meet in the Chris
tan church at the dead of night. The
furnace in the church was not started
for soldiers are supposed to rest on
their arms. When Mcfarland was elect
ed colonel of the thousand the ardor OF
those who wished to cut. slash, pillage
and show no quarter to the jOintsts,
was at white heat. It lessened when
they met in the cold church and it
cooled considerably night after night as
the soldiers stood waiting for orders in
the church. But night after night the
colonel assembled his thousand and all
the time he was allowing the cold
weather to get in its work. BY and by
there were icicles on that ardor that was
once at white heat Colonel Mcfarland
had aVerted riot and rapine. He saved
the city by freezing out the soldiers
who could not, like WashingtOn's men,
keep in first-clasS fighting trim through
a Valley Forge experience.
Larned is thoroughly up-to-date An
automobile passed through that town
last week and Immediately the city
council passed an ordinance regulating
! the speed of autos.
Free speech may be one of the foun-
some Methodist utterances are not on
the free list
~Whose funeral is that?" asked Billy
! Woods when he saw the inaugural pro-
eession Monday. "Craddock's," said
Nate Dawson.
The real contest in Connection with this
session of the legislature has been over
looked. but it sizes up well with the
fight for the senatOrship and the race
for the Partnership. This contest was
carried on by the son Of Senator +. Du-
mont Smith and the son of Senator John
4 CLANCY. The two boys formed a polit-
zeal alliance and worked unbeknown
to their parents for the positions of
rages in the senate. They brought pres
sure to bear on other senators, on the
grounds that their fathers were Wearers
of the toga and that they should be
recognized. The two boys secured
pledges enough to elect them and then
and attempted to stop it. For a time the
boys were obdurate and refused to yield,
Just like older politicians, and regular
political methods would not cause them
TO withdraw from the race The parents
We're afraid of the charge of nepOtism
and they could not get their young
= hopefuls to stop until the threats Of the
p rod and bread and water had been used
, This same threat, by the way, might
work with older politicians when other
methods fail
In the arguments before the district
court in regard to the Sunday theater
case the attorneys for the theaters re-
sorted to the Old Connecticut blue laws
and cited that passage which reads:
Laws are not necessary to keep people
from gathering sticks and kissing their
, wives on Sunday" Judge Hazen inter
= posed the remark, NO, those laws are
, not necessary in Kansas. but what we
? need is a law to keep men fran kissing
other mems wives.
; Topeka is being operated by the old
Chinese custom. according to the de-
r cision OF Judge Hazen in the Sunday
: theater case. The day IS from midnight
till midnight. the came as the day OF
z the Celestials. and not from sun up to
= sun down as was the custom of the
I ChaIdeans This is important as il
proves that the working hours of Chi
! nese laundry regulates the hours OF the
! day for everyone
one conspicuous figure who attended
! the session of the legislature two years
: ago IS not hare at this session. He is
! known as The Burnisher- This is tbs
= story The regular correspondent Of tbs
= Kansas CITY Star in Topeka is FREQ
= Vandegrift. he has been IN the bust
r ness for a good many years and he /:
! way over two score years old. He need
Z, ed an assistant so the Star sent up {
young fellow just out Of high school Mht
I had reported a couple of switch shants
fires and a coroner's inquest as Vans