davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16
Remain. WIde Omen.

Philadelphia North American.
1t may be that the national senate will
change the rules to limit debate. The
shutting Of the mouth there has been an
open question for years.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16

Up to date the work Of the Omaha
delegation 10 the legislature may be
summarized principally as an effort to
get even"
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16

Nebraska Organizes will have to be
less noisy in protesting their fealty to
Bryan or the reorgsnizers down east
will think they really have them scared.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16

The people OF Nebraska have asKed
for bread, and the legislature responds
BIZ a shower Of stones.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16

The Nebraska house Of representa-
tiyes Is MADE up OF 100 members and
81 members constitute n working ma
Joriy. This explains why Just 81 votes
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16

were piunked down for the railroad
company amendment to the revenue
bill John ". Baldwin nay be reckless
In his distribution OF passes; he may
be profuse with rainbow promises Of
brilliant political futures; he may be
eXtravagsnt in his expenditure for leg
islatve refreshments, but John y. Bald
win does not waste any substance on
men he does n need. Just 81 u what
he wanted and he had them.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16
Cane nnH Eject

st. Louis GIobe-Democrat.
The American ice trust lost money last
year. Probably IT had too much watered
stock.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16
Round ABOUT VIEW YORK.
Ripple. On the Current Of Life In the
Metropolis.

Marriages performed in the city ball Of
New York In the future are 20 have an
architectural imitation % church-liks sur
roundings. Heretofore the ceremOuy lacked
the dignity and solemnlty which usually
goes with the union. The marriage room
was commonplace In appearance and equip
ment-bare beaches running around the
walls and a roll top desk as its sole orna-
ment. Amid such unconventional sur
roundinzs the second epoch In human life
was performed, oftentlmes witnessed By
the mocklng habitues Of the city hall. A
change for the better has been ordered. In
the plans for remodellng the building the
architect has provided a marriage bureau,
which will resemble In some degree a ca
thedraI crypt. II f. 20 have numerous
massive pillars. supporting an arched roof.
and a raised marble dals. Behind this the
wall has been curved so as 10 resemble
the embrasure Of a church chancel. And 70
carry out hts idea Of supplying a marriage
bureau which will have TO some degree the
appearance Of a chapel. It will even have
a table resembling an altar table placed
within the curved wall at the rear Of the
platform.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16
FOrbearanee Appreciated.

Chicago Tribune.
With a forbearance worthy Of all praise
the Missouri river has refrained thu. far
from butting in.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16
arArFnfENT OF cIRCrLATION.

STATEMENT Of CIRCULATION,
State Of Nebraska, Douglas County So
George p T~zschuck, secretary Of The Zee
PubUshfnz'. Company, being duly sworn
says that the actual number OF tull ana
Complete copies Of The DAILY morning
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during the
month Of February, 1903, was as follows:
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16

The courts OF New York have bravely
taken up a question too long left unset
tied. and in their conclusions, the gentle
men OF the mortuary trade do not have
the better OF It. The question is: How
much has an undertaken. who has been
told in a general way 10 go ahead and do
the proper thing a right to charge for
his services?
The Judge who has gone over a bill, cut
out S2j the undertaken had charged for his
own attendance. TIL reason was that the
party to whom the services we're rendered
should not be made to pay a business man
for running his own business. The next
item was a charge Of S25 for flowers or
dered by a friend OF the deceased. The
court held that II this friend wished to
send flowers. she should pay for them. Nor
did the Judge consent TO $40 for the use Of
a casket which the undertaken had brought
along and laid down by the grave. II was
not needed In the first place, and in the
second the charge was excessive.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16

A new line Of industry has been profit
ably worked By Jacob Hoffman. He could
have made a large sum. doubtless, II the
laws OF New York had not been in his way.
He has been interrupted By a three years
term In the states prison.
His specially was widows who we're feel
ing wealthy By the collection Of Insurance
upon the lives OF their recent husbands.
Jacob had an insinuating way and began
the woofug Of the woman before he limited
at the money. There were twenty-seven
Of these in the court room on the day he
was tried, each ready to tell what she
knew. Each Of the company glared at the
other twenty-siX, and then they all gared
at Hoffman.
He made acquaintance through a marriage
broker, who does a thriving business on the
east side. This gentleman keeps books
after the manner Of a real estate agent
He has hearts. affections. c~oniugal happi-
ness for sale instead Of land that Is the
only difference. He Is called upon by a man
who wants a wife. A bill Of particulars
Is asked for and entered upon his books.
A woman desires TO be mated. What and
who shall he be? She describes her ideal.
He is entered. In most OF these eases one
essential qualification goes down. The
party OF the OLneI part musI nave HoArJt
or there can be no trade. A commission
Is charged in every case.
Hoffman came back 30 often that the
agent must have suspected something or
decided that his client was a hard man TO
suit. In every case he wanted widows.
No matter what might be the claims Of a
spinster specified in the books she made
no appeal to his fancy.
In each Of the tWenty-siK cases he had
borrowed money. in greater or lesser sums,
from the woman. He finally woOed Mrs.
Kummisky. and with such success that he
got into trouble. One day he said to her:
well, goodbye. It's to the river I'm
going"
She urged him and he explained. He
was in debt, and unless he paid UP he would
go to Jail.
How much must you have?" she asked.
Two hundred dollars" But be compro-
missed on SIS, and the poor woman pawned
some OF her furniture to get II for him
The Judge said he was glad to sentence
him. you are the meanest man ever
brought into this court" ne said.
And each Of the swindled widows looked
as II It would do her heart good to say
"Amen!"
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16

Two pretty girls from Illinois have taken
Wall street into camp with the newest
get-rich-q quick scheme. They hail from
Champaign, but their name is Forest
Marie. aged IS, and Belle, 20. Bright and
early on a recent morning they began to
canvass the brokers' Offices with tickets
emitting the bearer to zone shine" at the
Eagle Tonsorial Parlor. The street, after
II reco Jered from the shock, fell to this
proposition with promptness and assiduity.
BY closing time Marie and Belle said they
had sold 1000 tickets, and exhibited the
coin in evidence. BY this token the girls
have undertaken to polish 1000 pairs OF
boots, beginning next Monday morning,
with their own hands. Wall street went
home in some doubt as TO whether the
shines would really be forthcoming or IL
had played the come-along to a couple Of
fair female farmers. The doubt stilI stands,
but. in either event, Wall street will never
squesl, especially as Il claims to have had
value received for its 800 in the form OF a
new game impaired by two really pretty
girls. only a few weeks ago. you may
remember, a yelled woman appeared on
the Wall street curb with a shine box aid
timidly asked for business. But after a
few obviously painful minutes she yielded
to the entreaties OF a man and disappeared
with him in a cab. II appeared she was
only winning a bet. Whether Belle ahd
Marie got their idea from this incident
may never be known. They say they came
here for work, looked In vain for three
weeks and then conceived the shine scheme.
Also they say it is the very best they
know, so far.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-16

Net average safes sssssrs .ssssss'''s
GEORGE p. TZSCHUCK.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn 70
before me this 18th day Of Feoruary =. -.
faoa n. IS. HUNQA1Et
GscaA Notary Public.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18

sDear, dear, that Is too bad sighed MT. Good Fairy. No one could blame you Tommy but Mrs. Good Fairy will be in q state of mind when she hears of this. Dear me dear me. l quite dread going home and telling her of 1t. Too bad, too bad"
 And MT. Good Fairy looked a great deal more afraid of h.s wife and her displeasure than one would have expected from brave, old good fairy.
 Still, there vas no help for 1t, but before MT. Good Fairy disappeared he made lot of passes with his hands and repeated some long. queer words which Tommy couldn't understand. But as he said them the pain from the pinches and blows given by the mischevous elves disappeared.
 I've enchantifed the pain away" ex- plained Mir. Good Fairy in kindly tones, for he was a really kind hearted fairy, despite his short temper. That was the least I could do, since you got your hurts trying to nelp my wife, and some day we will both do something to make up for the trouble you have had. But don't believe 1t is a good idea to ask the help of small, fat boys when one is trying to discipline lot of mischiey- ous elves.
 Tommy Tucker agreed with him in that.
 Its all right for good fairies to whip the elves if they want to-" said Tommy to him self They understand about such things; but a boy, even one as good and strong and smart as myself. is likely to get into all sorts of trouble if he has anything to do with the punishment of mischievous elves or re- bell!ous gnomes.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18

on .his particular Saturday morning Tommy Tucker. having done all the chores as his father had told him, thought he was clearly entitled to little rest and amuse ment, for 1t Is no fun, even for the best Of small fat boys, to do chores on Saturday morning. So he walked out Into the field back Of his ia ather's barn and knocked three times on the big lat stone There was nothing particular that lie wanted to ask help from MT. Good Fairy about, but he thought 1t would be interesting to have talk with him. for a good fairy who lives in Gnomelaud with the elves, fairies enones and such always has lot of in teresting tales to tell Just the same, 1t Is better not to summon good fairy up to the world where real boys and girls live unless you want h!s help in some particular thing. Tommy Tucker learned this to bis sorrow on this very Saturday.
 Tommy turned his back after he had knocked three times on the big fiat stone, for he knew good fairies simply hate to have any one spying on them and trying to see where they come from. Of course, he expected that when he turned around he would sec only Mir. Good Fairy, so he was the most astonished small fat boy In all Tugsville when on turning around he saw not only MT. Good Fairy, but that worthy little woman, his wife, Mrs. Good Fairy.
 The sight of Mrs. Good Fairy would have astonished any one, even q person pretty well acquainted with fairies, elves, gnomes and the other inhabitants of Good Fairy Land. Naturally, one would expect the wife of good fairy to be dressed in gold and jewels and carry wand with big diamond In the end. But Mrs. Good Fairy wasn't dressed that way at all. She had on a green
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18

silk dress, little green slippers and an old fashioned bonnet, such as you will see in the pictures of what people used to wear In your great-grandmother' time And the green silk dress didn't look bit new, but rather as if 1t had been worn a long, long time. But, goodness knows, what with steam and electricity and all sorts of new inventions to spoil their business the good fairies can't afford to buy their wives many new dresses.
 Tommy was ordinarily very polite little boy, but he was so surprised at the sight of Mrs. Good Fairy that he forgot to take off his hat. and just stood staring at her in what was really a rude fashion. And you may be sure that Mrs Good Fairy wasn't the one to let any rudeness to her pass un- noticed
 Take off your hat. smile, bow and say Good morning politely she snapped at Tommy Tucker. and If Mir. Good Fairy s voice was a little sharp and shrill, his wife's was a great deal more so Where are your manners. fat little boy to stare at lady that way"
 Tommy Tucker hated to be called a fat little boy, but of course It would never do to correct the wife of a good fairy. So be took off his hat. bowed and said Good morn- ing" but in rather an embarra ssed man. ner, It must be confessed. Stil. no one could blame him fo: that As soon as Mrs Good Fairy saw that he hadn't really meant to be rude, she regalned her patience and smiled at Tommy in very pleasant manner, for although quick tempered little old lady she was good hearted, and always ready to help any boy who was in trouble. But she noticed that Tommy couldn't help seepling rather surprised at the way she was dressed. and the old bonnet she was wear
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18
The Bad Elves and the Seven Little Whips.
BY EDWIN ]. WEBSTER.

ing, for good fairies arc droadfuly sharp at noticing things.
 'I don't wonder that you stared at Ihis old bonnet" she said, speaking to Tom my, but looking at MT. Good Fairy In a manner that seemed to make him might fly uncomfortable. Its A disgrace fer a respectable good fairy to wear such a thing. And to think of Mir. Good Fairy trying to tell me that 1t is still In fashion. Much he knows about the fashions in bon nets. Just because he Is so fond of that old white hat he thinks that no one wantS''-
 But Mr. Good Fairy, who evidently didn't like the turn the conversation was taking, interrupted his wife at this point.
 "Yes, yes, my dear" said he, in sooth' ing tones. ''I certainly must get you a new bonnet, although you have no idea how charming that one looks on you. But don't you remember that you intended to ask Tommy to get you some whips with which to discipline your mischieYous elves?
 "Those elvesv' sighed Mrs. Good Fairy.
 ney are enough to turn even the hair of a good fairy gray. For years I've run a school where I taught them the rules of standardization, and never have they be- hayed as they did last week. And 1t wasi t until I started in to whip them that I understood how they dared act as they did. But they had taken all my rulers and enchantified them so that instead of Its hurt ing them when I whipped them the rulers just .tickled. And then those impertinent elves just laughed in my face and acted worse than ever, the worst, the very worst. elves that have ever gone to school in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18

Gnomeland.
 Now, what I would like to have you do, Tommy" continued Mrs Good Fairy. lis to go down to the village store and buy me seven little whips. I will fix the whips so that the elves can't enchantify them. Then I will fix the elves so that they will be very, very sorry they be- haved as badly as they did instead of be- ing good elves and learning the rules of standardization by heart Seven is a magic number, so it Is necessary to have just that many whips. And cant get them myself, for what would the storekeeper think if he saw me standing in front of his counter trying to buy seven small whips?"
 Tommy thought the storekeeper would be nightly surprised man at the sight of little Mrs. Good Fairy. In her green silk dress and old fashioned bonnet buying seven small whips for elves. But he was too polite boy to say what he thought. and then, too. he was quite a little afraid of Mrs. Good Fairy and her sharp tongue and quick temper. good hearted old lady as she was at bottom. Mir. Good Fairy had done Tommy many good turns that he couldn't very well refuse to buy the seven small whips. although, to tell the truth. he didn't like the errand. For he thought 1t might be rather risky thing for him to get mixed up Ill dealings w!.h elves, gnomes md such people.
 Tommy was right h thinking there was some danger In his .errand Maybe there was a mschievous elf lurking near when Mrs. Good Fairy asked Tommy to buy the whips. Perhaps the elves heard of if in some other manrer, for elves are very bright and have sharp ears. However that may be, il Is certain the elves knew Tommy was buying the whips, IS well as the pur-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18

among other things, that they were the true cause of their enemy, the pike being exter- minated. And as their relatives, the straw perry bass, agreed with them, the matter was settled. They had, by dint of great agility and ceverness, fairly starved the pike out
 So matters stood at the bottom of the lake, when one fine day a strange round hole appeared in the ice overhead "An air hole, decided the goggle-eyes, in spite of the fact that the Ice was foot thick and perfectly solid
 Down at the further end of the lake, in the shallower part, among the roots of the water lilies, there were gathered together great many fishes of different families In sort of congress of all nations. There were no less than seventeen different na lions there represented among them the European tench, the German carp, the Jap anese roach and solitary English chub Among the more humble native fishes there were perch, catfish, suckers, red horses bass, bream, plekerel, mlnnows and many smaller fry.
 Still further beyond, In q deep "hole," where the brook entered the lake, and al. rectly beneath the bridge at the ice houses, there were punched a large number of strange looking fishes, which at first glance one would call perch. Another look would decide us in favor of their being pckerel, but they were neither the one nor the other. Very cold and miserable they looked, their fins barely moving to keep them upright, and their eyes-g great staring eyes--gazlng at nothing. In fact most of them were so numbed with cold as not to feel at all. They were wa.l-eyed pike, who had found their way Into the lake that fall just in time 10 winter there.
 To return to the nristocratic goggleeyes. When the air hole over their heads appeared they took little notice, save 10 swim up and hnya n look af m trIQu a small ahfpQt wriggling down through the water was seen there was q general rush of young goggle-eyes. Vainly the older and wiser fishes tried to head them of and warn them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18
AN ODD PROVERB PUZZLE.

swarmed with them That fact pleased their savage foes, the country lads who lived on shore and used their wits in devising many new and curious forms of catching the gog
 geeyes Heretofore however, the Ice had always proven barrier to their operations. ns it was generally so thick as to prevent the formation of air holes. Now, the boys were the cause of the sunfshes spending n pleasant summer the year before, as they had fished out of the lake all the pike in 1t, thus removing an enemy even more danger ous and bloodthirsty than themselves. Bur alas, the goggle eyes did not realize this, being very narrow and nasty in their ways
 The fact was that, being used to jump a. every object their great eyes saw, or their fins tonched, 1t came natural 10 them to jump at conclusions. They concluded.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18

pose they were wanted for. Nothing hap pened In the. store where Tommy bought the whips, nor on the way back from the store to the field in which was the big fiat stone. But Tommy had no more than stepped into the field than he felt sharp pinch on his left arm. At the same moment he felt some one tugging at the seven small whips, which he was carrying under his right arm. He couldn't see anybody, for elves are invisible But Tommy knew in a second just what had happened-the elves had espied him and the whips and were trying to take them away from him.
 Tommy Tucker ran as he never had run before. For he thought that If be could
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18

that Tommy was to blame for getting the whips. They plnched him. and struck him with their little fists, and hit at him with the whips. Of course, elves are not big enough to do any real harm to boy AS large and as fat as Tommy Tucker. But by the time they left him he felt sore from head to foot. And the seven small whips had disappeared as completely as If the earth had swallowed them.
 Tommy limped to the big fiat stone, knocked on 1t and minute later MT. Good Fairy appeared. Mir. Good Fairy was mighty disappointed when he heard the tale of Tommys troubles and the disappearance nf the seven smnll whips.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18

reach the big flat stone and rap on it MT. Good Fairy or his wife would hear him, come to his help and drive away the mis- chievous elves. But what chance did one small, fat boy have against goodness knows how many elves, especially when the elves were invisible. 90 that Tommy could not figh. back against them. Tommy hadn't run ten yards before be was tripped up and rolling OF the grass of the field. In another instant the seven small whips had been jerked from his grasp. Then the elves evidently thought
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18
PERFUMED PIGS OF PERU.

They are fed on corn all stewed in milk And their pretty belts are as fine as silk; And they seldom grunt, and they never
 sn0re, And so do l. and so do you, As well as the perfumed pigs of Perul Their sides are fat, and their faces lean, And their little hoofs are clean as clean. When the hens lay eggs, they begin to cry. As they crouch in the corners of their styi For ham and eggs may be nice to you. But they're death to the perfumed pigs ot
 Peru!
 JOHN ERNEST M'cANN
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18
Winter Quarters for the Lake DWelIerS.

Down under the newly formed ice of the lake the goggle-eyes wandered. They kepT close to the muddy bottom and. in spite Of the zero weather overhead. were quite com fortable. But only quite, for hunger was making them very savage, and their tenn rers needed pruning. as well as their fins. For these goggle eeyes were select family of sunfshes, who had become so numerous Curing the warm weather preceding as to overstocked the lake. The bottom fairy
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-10-18
THE HUMBLE BEE.

Quoth a big humble bee in the heart of . flower, "I really must hustle, it's In for shower.
 I'll pack up my wax,
 And then I'll make tracks; The rains sure to make my temper turn sour"
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-10-20
HAVE ELECTED DELEGATES.
Women's Clubs VIII Be Represented
at Ardmore Convention.

Guthrie. o T.. Oct. I9.-WOmens' clubs
of this city have elected delegates TO the
convention Of the Federation Of Womens'
clubs of Oklahoma and Indian territory.
at Ardmore. November and 4. The
delegates are as follows:
Acorn cluls-Mrs. J. T. Homin. Mrs.
Chas Filson.
The c. L. S. C dengates-Mrs. H. S.
Dodd. Mrs. 4. 4. Byers: aiternates. Mrs.
Frank Wilbur. Mrs Chas, Hill
Cambridge Club-de1egates. Mrs. Horace
Speed. Miss Ida Niblack: alte%ates. Mrs.
Robert SohIberg. Mrs. Joe Severns.
Excelsior Club-6eiegates. Mrs c.
Bezonson. Mrs NJ C. Hart: alternates;
Mrs. John James. Mrs. w B, Herod.
.E5ude CIub-dels gates. Is L. c Guss
Miss Jessie Mcpherson; alternates. IS
J o. Alien, Mrs. Horace Reed.
Shakespeare ClDb-deIegates. Miss Mar
garet Reese. Mrs. J. {. Lyon; altarnztes
Mrs J. II. Havighorst. Mrs Florence
Adler.
The City Federation win be represented
at the convention by IS president. MS
c M. Barnes.
Some Of the ladies who wiI take part
or the program are:
Mrs J. W. Dake. chairman OF the con-
nfit,ee on music.
Ms. Chas-. Bezanson. paper on Civics
Mrs. y. NJ. Carter. CHAIRMAN of the
Question Box.
Miss Jessie Mcpherson. Instrumental