The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-12-26

have a little Social in my room that
evening, and invited three fellow
! lodgers-an insurance man and two
grocers' assistants-to be my guests.
Then I went down to the quay side,
where I knew I could lay hands on a
man wanted.
Assuming the role of an admirer of
heroiSn, gave him to understand that
few appreciators had dubbed to-
gether to make him a little present,
and if he would come up to my place
in the evening we should be glad to do
honor to whom honor was due.
He took the bait splendidly and said
he would come.
On my way back bethought me of
revolver. I had no definite idea as to
what I should do with it, but thought
it best to be prepared for emergencies.
selected a natty little affair. The
man I bought it of said it would shoot.
At somewhere about s o'clock that
evening 1 was playing host to an in
surance man, two grocers' assistants,
and one fish packer
On a small table in a corner of the
room there was a bulky article covered
with a cloth. While the packer was ex-
changing a few words with Mrs. Cum
MINIS leaned toward the others and,
pointing to the table, said: gentlemen,
prepare yourselves; you are about to
participate in an event which will be
recorded the annals of history"
Then the packer joined US and the
Grasping his hand, 1 led him to the
table and delivered a trim little speech,
in which eulogy was blended with moral
reflections. At the close | threw aside
the wrapping, disclosing the stone.
The effect was almost exactly what l
had expected He stood stock still, star
ing at the stone. His veins stood out,
his limbs. trembled. his eyes flashed
Now for it, I thought. Its COM
ing; he's going to make a clean breast
of itl''
Then it came-nOt the confession-11is
fist It was 50 sudden, SO unexpected,
so painful, that I hardly knew whether
to get up or remain on the floor.
In unequivocal terms | pointed out
that it was no joking matter, and in
sisted that all Neptune's ocean couldn't
wash his hands white again.
l snatched out my revolver.
stand backi" said
He stood back.
I fetched up all my reserve of rhetoric
and was drenching him with 1t when
somebody knocked up my arm. The re-
volver went off and plugged a hole
through a counterfeit presentment Of
Pharaoh's daughter, done in woods by
Mrs. CumminS' own hand. Fortunately
nobody was hurt.
The next thing I remembered was that
lay on the floor, the revolver taken from
me, and the combined weight of one in
surance man, two grocers' assistants and
fish packer resting on my fraI body
Some neifhbors came in to see what
the packer explained that a blooming
lunatic, under pretense of presenting him
with a testimonial, had tried to palm upon
him an old lobster-Dot sinker, and, not
content with that had popped at him
with a shooter.
My position was embarrassing. But
that superhuity of brain energy which had
evolved an intricate crime from a bloom
ing old sinker'' was equal to the occasion
Gentlemen said, IF you will be so
good as to take your carca sses off my
epigastrium and unloose these bonds I
will without more foolery. proceed with
the real presentation.
After brief consultation in an under
tone I was untruSsed and allowed to get
up,
Thereupon producing my purse, I took
therefroTn some gold pieces and, smiling
benignly-handed them to the packer.
He thanked me- apologized for failing to
appreciate my little joke, and discreetiy
refrained from any allusion to the revol-
YER Thus harmony was restored.
But when I reflect on the worry and
out-of-pocket expenses Of that miserable
business, I-wel1, decide to let Sherlock
Holmes wear his laurels.-Tit Bits.
When you feel blue and that everything
goes wrong, take a dose of Chamber1ainss
Stomach and Liver Tablets. They will
cleanse and invigorate your stomach. reg
ulate your bowels. give you relish for
your food and make you feel that in this
old world is a good place to live For
sale by all druggists
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