The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-05

The Modern Fable Of the Unsympathetic Parent
Who Turned Down Three Different Varieties.
Copyright. 1903. by Robert Howard Russell

the Bud. a New Show came to Town.
and there tipped across the Horizon OF
his Fresh Young Life q Hurrah Sou
brette who wore Holes in the Stage
every Evening doing a very refined
Coon Number.
From the moment when he looked
up at her and saw that she had taken
notice of his Presence on Earth, no
passed into a Sweet Trance from which
he did not fully Awake until the
Troupe left Town, when he found him
self watching the Red Light disap-
pear around the Curve and realized
that he had played his Violets on the
Wrong Number.
The Busy Lover always goes from
one Extreme to another so the next
Crack out Of the Box what does Brash
BERTHE do but get himself all worked
up to Temperature of 104 over the
kind that is known as Terribly Bright.
The one he was determined to Marry,
unless somebody got out an Injunction,
sat around in an Off color kind of q
sad, Mother Hubbard makeup and
handed out Brilliant Conversation that
was good enough to be taken down in
Shorthand and put right into Book.
She threw her Search-Light on the
helpless Bertrand and dazzled him to
a Fare-ye-well. She got him into a
Turkish Corner and told him of the
Warnings of her Soul and ell about
her Empty Life and how she had
CROPPED for an Affinity, and, although
ne muffed good many of her Points
and was clear of the Ground most of
the Time, he realized that he was in
the Presence of one who could take
him by the Hand and show him lot
OF Things that he had never been
wise to, as yet. So he wanted to mar
~ her and sit around all Day with
his Head on her Shoulder and have
her talk Copy. worth about 8 cents a
Word
Father noticed that he was off his
Feed, and, looking wild out of the
Eyes, so he called him In and wanted
to know the name of the New One.
Cut 1T out" said he, when he had
learned the Horrible Truth. Home is
not a Lecture Bureau. 1 don't blame
any Man for marrying a Woman who
has got the Intellectual Bulge on him.
In these Days of Thursday Afternoon
Clubs and Reading Circles it's a Cheap
Grade of Wife who hasn't got the he
end of the Outfit beaten to a Pulp,
Nearly every Woman knows more than
her Husband, but 1t helps some If he
has enough Gray Matter to enable him
to chip in now and then, If only to
give her the right Cues. But thirty
years WOuiu De IL long Lime TO SIT at
one end Of the Dining-Room Table,
feeling about the size of Roach.
have known several specimens of the
Victim who marries the Woman who
Is going to lead him on and on She
leads him on and on, until he begins
to Blow and then she usually goes on
and on with something wearing a
White Necktie and an Alpaca Coat. If
were you,- should marry someone
of about my own Mental CALDER. OF
course, you may have to hunt a long
time, but when you locate her you can
tell that she is the Right Kind. Any
one who will agree to Marry you is in
that"
Il have tried the Innocent Young
Thing. the Sophisticated Soubretts
and the Cultured Club Girl and you
kick on all of them" said Bertrand.
They are all Nice Girls" said Mr..
Flappingdale. Lets wait until we
spot one who has something coming
to her and then we Will put up a Good
Joke on her."
Moral: 1t is Wise Father That
tumbles to his own Son.