Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1903-02-20
= SIZES
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| ed a magistrate. "Shure, | don't know,
yer amer. What time does yer amer
get up?"
Pat-An' so yez shtruck fer shorter
hours? Mike-Yis. We want each
wan to consist av forty minutes, be.
gorry!-Puck.
Didn't you hear the doorbell, Bird
get?' Yes, num-" well. why didn't
you answer III" Il did answer it; |
said oh, fudger num-"
Mistress-Can you draw this fowl,
Bridget? Bridget (who has been
brought up on praties and huttermilk)
No, NUM- OF can't WROTE. let alone
draw
Stella-I came near missing a pro-
posal last night. Bella-You did?
Stella-Yes. He got down on his
knees, and l thought he was merely
looking for a ping-pong ball.-Harpers
Bazaar
Mag Observation-Disclosures, | see you are
here again. l believe you have been
tried and convicted seven times for
stealing. Rastus-Yes, jedge, 1t seems
to be nuttin' but trials and temptations
wild me in dis life.
Mamma" cried little Willie from
the bathroom, "please get me another
sponge" "Why, what's the matter
with the one you haye?' asked the
mother. ITS full of holes, and leaks
awfully," was the reply.
Borem-"Im something of a mind
reader" Miss Hittem-"Indeed!'
Borem-"Yes: can usually tell at a
glance what a person thinks Of me-
Miss Hittem-"W But don't
you find it awfuly EMBARRASSING
Bookkeeper-I would like a little
more salary, sir. You see, I'm married
now, and Employer-And need
the increase for your family? Book
keeper-No, sir; for myself. You see,
my wife knows just what I'm getting
now
Schoolmaster-"Wh is the meaning
of one-twenty-ffthY Boy-"1-1 don't
remember" Schoolmaster-"If you
had twenty-five friends visiting you,
and only one apple for them, what
would you do?' Boy-'I'd wait. till
they'd gone and then eat it myself"
Tommy has been making study of
etiquette When his little sister was
opening the door to leave the nursery
he pulled her back by the hair and
elbowed her out of the way. Don't
you know, you ignorant little thing"
he sald Indignantly, that its gentle
mans place to opel the door for
lady"
Miss Mug-I don't understand how
your sister failed to find me at the
station. You said you would describe
me to her. Infatuated Lover (who
sees a good deal more in Miss Mug
than other folks can)-Yes, | told her
to look for a beautiful girl, with the
face of Madonna and the form of
sylph. It's queer she missed you.
"Ahr' he said as they were explor-
ing among the rocks back Of the hotel,
here is Lovers Lane Let's go
through" THAT deep place there,
where it is so dark. with The steep,
, rocky sid ~" Yes. Come on"
, I'm afra d you would kiss me If we
were dowa there alone together" mo,
, honestm well then We may as well
remain up here
Mrs. Winks--A peddler was here to-
: day, and | got the greatest bargain-a
whole pound of insect powder for only
ten cents. It looks just like dirt, but
its awfully effective, tried 1t. Mr..
Wiuks-Worked, Ell? Mrs Winks-
Yes, indeed The peddler said 1 should
put Il little in water and apply it boil
ing hot, and did, and 1t killed every
Insect il tauched.-New York Weekly.
Johnny (Who is jealous of mamma
Mamma likes me better than she does
you Evelyn (who enjoys teasing)-
why, no. Johnny, of course she loves
Betty and me best! Just think, she was
our mother long before she was yours!'
Johnny (scornfully)-"Huh, what of
that? You are nothing but a sample
copy. anyhow! And Betty's only trial
subscription But I'm the real thingr'
Life.
Have you seen Mrs. Connyshaw's
wonderful collection of old china p
; Yes" replied Mrs. Fussiloye, Il have;
and l can't say that it gives me a good
opinion of the Connyshaws' social posi-
ton" Dear me-" said the other lady.
How is that?" well, you see," ex-
planned Mrs. Fussiloye, they can't
ever have kept many servants, or they
would never have had all that china
unbroken,"
You, boy" exclaimed the colored
woman, what is you gwineter do VIII
dat watermillion?" The urchn looked
surprised for a moment. then grieved
and then scornful. Placing his burden
of sweetness on the curbstone, he re-
piled: rs gwinoter git n can O. VAIN.
ish an yahnish It; den Is gwlneter git
yahd o red ribbon an tie aroun' II