The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1903-09-26

"Haye You succeeded in locatIno Il.
blame for this Dreyfus AFFAIR.", sas
the friend. Locating the h,a,n asu
echoed the worried French oe,a,s.
why, that isn't the cbjectl We,ss
been trying to dislocate itP'--Wash,, =
ton Star. ''s
Chapleigh (breaking the no,v.,
"Your daughter and have been nv
ried." The father-..Well, don't bIams
that on me. If you have any pslas
ance at all It's against the n,i MAJ N
who tied the knott hiladelnhis
North American, -
Don't You think you're making /
rather broad statement when yon rs
every pessimist is necessarily mn mar
ried manP "But didn't say thafa
"oh, didn't you? | thought you dias
"No; said every married man il naa
essarily pesslmist, "--PhiladelpbIa
Press.
II would like to know" said the grus
old father to the young man who baa
been ealing with considerable freuuan.
cy, whether you are going to marrv
my daughter? $50 would l." answer.
ed the difident young man. @Woula
you mind asking her?"-C Chicago FNyan.
ing Post.
: Miss Antique-No. I'm not going Il
Mrs. Whitehair's reception. Miss Budd
Why not2 ooh. she always talks
about old times, and that makes ma
tired; I don't see how you can stand
her." "But, my dear, her subject ID
new to most Of us, you know."-New
J York Weekly.
A man who had been one Of the pas-
sengers ON a shipwrecked vessel was
rescued almost by q miracle. On AZ.
irving at place from which he could
! send a telegraphic message he forward.
: ed the following dispatch to his broth.
3 er: II am saved. Try to break 1t to nv
: fe."-Youth's Companion.
Something must be done with those
boys of mine at college," exclaimed
staid old citizen; they're wilder than
p March hares and in hot water all the
p time" "Oh, well, they're young yet,
: and you must make allowances"
make allowances, man? That's what's
keeping me poor."-Detroit Free Press.
Admiral-"Have the warrant-ofEicers
put on dress-suits, clean shirts, white
:, neckties, patent leather boots and kid
gloves, and are their opera hats on
= straight" Sailor-"Aye, aye, yer
honor! Admiral-"Then let them open
fire upon the enemy; am going ashore
to a society reception. Town Topics.
Fuddy-"Remarkable cure. that Of
Mrs. Blank" Duddy-"Haven't heard
r about it. What was it2" Fuddy-
"She has recovered her voice. You
4 know she hasn't been able to speak for
three years. They induced her to join
In a game Of whist, and she was talk.
ing before she knew it"-Boston
Transcript
-Professor-"Tel me to
what class of maladies insomnia be-
! longs" Student-"Why-er, It's a con-
tagious disease" Professor-I never
heard it SO described. Where did you
4 learn thisY" Student-"From expert
/ ence, sir. Whenever my neighbours dog
i can't sleep I'm just as wakeful as no
4 is."-Tit-Bits.
4 A Proud Record: l see that one OF
4 the newly appointed patrolmen made
N an arrest within twenty minutes after
y he assumed his duties" said the oD-
servant citizen to the experienced po.
= liceman. That's nothing" snailea
& the latter; 81 went to sleep while my
commission was being handed to me-
er Baltimore American.
~ Mrs. Waldo (of Boston)-I have
~ letter from your Uncle James, Penel'
~ ope, who wants US to spend the sum
III mer on his farm. Penelope (dublousy'
III is there any society in the nelghDor'
~ hoodP Mrs. Waldo-I've heard nlnl
IN speak Of the Holsteins and GuernseSS
presume they are pleasant people
Boston Christian Register.
81 suppose there is a great dea u
be jealousy among your generals z
e. great DEAL" answered the Filipino
he chief, gloomily; tive have an army
- scandal at hand. The man who claims
b to hold the record for lOng-distance y y.
~ treats Ia accused of violating the ra,S.
- of such contests and using paCV'
NC maker -Washingto Star.
~ Eminent Statesman-"Put these msl,
- oranda into THE form Of an inteFs.s !.
~ and send 1t to all the papers. II III =
III well received, / will interview m's ~
u again, and. say that am giao n ~ -
Ia the public agrees with me-" r.'r 'raI
en- secretary-"But suppose 1t ID nV ..T Nan
es receivedP Eminent statesman ~,
en- l win say that haven't seen rep T..
- for six months. "-Boston TranSclip. -,
rs "What," said the ordinary ps,s aIn
&C. $500 for that little bit OF pOf nj
u Why, 1t isn't as big as man -, a deaI
pm ut commands that price," saio Tue s ss
OF er, con account Of its history - I ~
Dr. - - oaro,.s Four sheets OF pa ~