New-York tribune., 1903-07-11
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

young
rensburg (Kan) Normal School delivered
ton entitled THE Apollo Belvedere Of American
Letters" The reader could guess thousand times
without hitting who the apollo Belvedere of Amer
lean Letters" In the opinion of the ingenious
youthful graduate it Edgar Allan Poe.
THE NEWEST SUMMER GIRL
Moth,ball my raglan. mother, and put away my
With feathers all around It'll have no need for
My mun, and furs dear mother, pray put them
For 1 ready mother. to innovate myself!
The gentle spring is coming
The Anq merry en- biPds bdiRtEPng are ThhfI SaIIing
The newest Summer Girl!
Pray hustle out my straw hat, my belt and shirt
For summers coming, mother and I must be
Dig up my last years "trilbies" and polish them
And don't forget my fam dear. for it has work
The seashore time is coming
I must be designated
seasonable peach!
Where moan the wild waves, saying the things
I must be out for conquest. dear mother. the
Tt naught to you. dear mother. for you have got
But i must make my lucky this season. if can!
While yet the shadows stalk;
must be up to practise
captivating walk!
must get up rules dear. to start the seasons
For time is fleet, dear mother, and old apace;
So wake me carly, mother, and don't neglect to set
Your clock for, say four-thirty lest you perchance
That gentle spring is on us.
The banner that announces
Baltimore News
The latest amusement in Kansas is the progress
sive peanut party which sounds harmless. Only
play the game. for it is too great ner-
vous strain for a A dishful of peanuts is
placed a table. and four women. armed with
hatpins take seats around it, and at a signal be-
gin to jab into the peanuts with the hatpns. 1t is
a foul to touch peanut with the hands, and the
two sticking the most peanuts the hatpin win.
and progress to the next table. Social life in the
West must be very pleasant
The Way It S.s GOss cb heard hear n KFGnnS ron Temag
was good luck or bad -
good luck he wouldn't speak of 1t luck at ALL
-(Philadelphia Press.
One of the questions in the Kansas teachers
examination is: why is Longfellow's poetry popu-
lar?" In answer to this a teacher in Ellsworth
County replied: "Longfelows poetry isn't popular
except among those who couldn't tell poetry If
they saw it through magnifying glass" The
country school teachers of Kansas evidently are
brought up higher criticism"
IF IT'S GOOD. IT'S BAD"
Now comes the braiuy scientist
To win extreme renown.
He adds unto our mustn't list
And tears s, our plea pleasures; 17e;,- down; c,9E
I'm. In all 1t that makes Gg US glad glad; , ..
For if it's good. it's bad"
He calls attention to the fact
That iced tea will beset
our hnd turned to m eatheree sn ste compact
That holding hands has had:
Makes this the slogan OF his cult;
IF 1t is good, it's bad
He warns US of the soda fount
Where toll the busy clerks,
And each @ malicious ,lisi S germ ,r hell. hen count
Ice cream and berries, water. too,
Likewise the auto fad;
IF it is good, it's bad "
Oh speed the day when you'll have placed
All pleasures on the shelves!
Then scientists. do you make haste
For it stands each pleasure pals
Because on each enjoyment falls
Your IF It's good, it's bad.
quack who profiting from the ills of hu-
manity fined in London recently for falsely
using the title Doctor Why he should have had
occasion TO use so humble designation while he
gravely wore the decoration of The Uncrowned
King of the Appendicitis Pnr' is not apparent
In Many Places.-,Mrs. MCCALL see you've got
Mrs Hiram Onen-Apparently not much. but
many and / propose TO give her notice 10 hunt up
another experience when her weeks up.-(Phila-
delphia Press.
The Troy Times celebrated recently the fifty
second anniversary Of its career of usefulness It
has seen many changes in the half century since
# was founded by John NJ Francis. but none az
fecting its appearance more than that of last
year when It laid aside the blanket sheet form
1t is clean. bright, enterprising newspaper.
THE WAR ON TRUSTS.
wish that they'd abolish trusts.
Monopoies. and all the lest
The thought of them my soul disgusts.
And makes me feel that I'm oppressed.
And vet it's only fair TO state
I'd never give my vote again
For those who dare to degislate