davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
REEDS SENSE CT nUMoR.
wit, Sarcasm and Humor Natural 70
Maine Statesman.

Wit. Sarcasm and Humor Natural 70
Maine Statesman.
The writer began his service a.
reading clerk Of the National House
OF Representatives at the beginning
OF the Fifty-fourth Congress and has
served continuously until the present
time. Speaker Reeds real greatness
was always felt in the atmosphere
about the Clerks desk. He vas .
strict disciplinarisn. but quick to rec
oenize emcient and faithful service
and great enough to correct himself
when In error. He was always cour-
ageous and sociable at times. yet
there was q sort OF dignihed reserve
which every now and then gave way.
when something on the floor of tho
House occurred which afforded an op.
portunity for the play OF wit. sarcasm.
or humor which wellsd out Of Mr..
Reeds great brains as naturally as
laughing water from q pure spring In
. mountain side.
His ability to see at . glance and
describe in Q sentence the humorous
side OF things or the weak point in
. members position was unsurpassed.
At times. he made comments seeming.
ly to make the clerks laugh. really
because he could scarcely help ex-
pressing his clear perception OF Q
humorous situation or . weak argu-
ment. His Yankee draW always en-
phasized tho humo1 of his express
s!ons. Mr.. Reed was a critic on pro-
nunciation. On one occasion . mem
Der used double adjectives In q case
where the duplicate added nothing
TO the strength Of his statement. Mr..
Reed quietly said to the clerks:
That sounds like gilded gold
Washington Post
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
The Farmers Money.

After all, the money made by farm
ing is the cleanest and most to be de-
sired In the world. 1t is the best. 1t
is in accordance with Gods first law
under honesty and honorable influen'
ces, away from the taint Of trade, and
the fierce and vicious heat OF specula'
tion. 1t fills the purse OF the farmer
at the expense OF no other. His gain
is no mans loss; on the contrary, the
more he makes the better for the com.
nunity and the world at large. What
ever benefits our agricultural interests,
to whatever extent it may. benefits our
commonwealth.-Ia Jsfs Chronicle.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
The X.RaYN

Recent experimental, by practical
tests and examinations with the aid Of
the X-Rays, establish it as fact that
catarrh Of the stomach Is not disease
of itself, but that it results from re.
peated attacks Of indigestion. How
can I cure my indigestion" Kodol
Dyspepsia Cure Is curing thousands.
1t will cure you Of indigestion and dy.
spepsia and prevent or cure catarrh OF
the stomach. K0dol digests what you
eat-makes the stomach sweet. Sold
BY Mason & Lavelle.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
Ssdgwick Items.

4 ~~6 sss~- -~~~eeS'
Mr.. Hartman's children have
the measles.
J. M. Wise Of Sterling visited
in Sedgwick Sunday.
Joe Green quit working on the
section for a better job.
Mr.. Waddingten received Car
load of lumber Sunday evening.
Don't forget the ice cream So
cial Friday evening at W. F.
Millsr's.
Luther Owens and George Ros-
wick arrived in Sedgwick We'd
nesday morning.
Presiding Elder Phifer will
hold third quarterly conference
Sunday evening at Sedgwick.
Mrs. Stockham entertained the
Ladies Aid last Thursday. Ev.
cry one enjoyed the day and hope
to be invited there again soon.
Mrs. Shackley left here for a
visit with her daughter near Ster.
ling. She will be greatly missed
at church and social gatherings.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
STARTLING the Archbishop

The following amusing story IL.
states a Dover correspondent. vouched
for by a rural clergyman In East Kent.
The primate paid visit to the village
school, and after telling the scholars
that everyone possessed q besetting
ain, astonished his youthful hearers by
continuing, And even archbishops!
"I wonder who can guess what tho
archbishop's besetting sin is?" asked
his grace. One little lad t,midly held
up his hand. and on being invited to
give an answer said. "Drunkenness!
What the archbishop thought or said
a, this amazing reply Is not recorded.
but, as everyone knows. DR.. Temple Ia
4 most ardent temperance advocate.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
Farmer Strengthened Out

"a man living on farm near here
came In a short time ago completely
doubled up with rheumatism. I hand
ed him bottle of Chamberlain's Pain
Balm and told him to use it freely and
If not satisfied after using it he need
not pay cent for it," says c. P. Ryder
of Pattens Mills. N. Y. "a few days
later he walked into the store as
straight as a string and handed me q
dollar saying, give me another bottle
Of Chamberlain's Pain Balm. I wan,
It in the house all the time for It cured
me-" For sale by Mason l. Lavelle.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
A Little Early Riser

now and then, at bedtime, will cure
constipation, biliousness and liver
troubles. DeWitts Little Early Risers
are the famous little pills that cure by
arousing the secretions, moving the
bowels gently, yet etrectually, and CIV
ing such tone and strength to the
glands OF the stomach and liver that
the cause OF the trouble Is removed en-.
tirely, and II their use Is continued for
q few days there will be no return OF
the complaint. Sold by Mason & La.
velle.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
Entire County Benefited.

Entire County Benefited.
''Holyoke will gain all the benefit OF
the High School" has been proven a
false reckoning. During the past year,
10 spite Of the fact that the school 10
only Two years old. more than SO per
cent of the enrolment has been from
the outside districts. Next year will
prove that Holyoke cuts very small
figure In the county high school, for at
least.75 or 80 per cent Of the members
will be from the outlying districts and
the proportion will increase every year
thereafter, so it is demonstrated that
this is Phillips county high school.
Every home in the county should fig
ure on getting some direct benefit out
OF it. Look forward and plan to send
your children to the high school. The
man who growls about paying school
tax is too mean to be father and is
only it to be an old "bach." Tax him
and make him pay to educate the boys
and girls as he Is good for little else.
One year at high school will not quail
fy your sous and daughters to compete
with Yale graduates, neither will two
years, but two years are better than
one, and four years are better than
two. Ifa pupil steals his way through
the eighth grade he is bound to stick
In the trst year OF high school. Slight
the grades and fail In high school is q
law as inevitable as gravitation.-Holy-
oke Herald.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
Water . Real Fertilizer.

One OF the secrets OF the great pro
ductive capacity of irrigated soils i:
the fact that all running water used
for irrigation carries with it more or
less sediment. 1t may be thought,
possibly, that deposit Of a one-si1
teenth or one-eighth of an inch OF
sediment upon land would not afford
any considerable fertilization; but
when it is remembered that a good
many farmers apply only two, four oil
six hundred pounds of commercial
fertilizer to the acre, Of which but ten
or twenty per cent is pure plant food
II can be seen that little is really
required to stimulate plant growth
The sediment carried by mountain
streams and rivers is usually an excel
lent fertilizer, since it is the very ma
terial which forms the rich and almos,
inexhaustible alluvial plains and bot
tom lands.-Ex.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
High School com1.st.ee Elected.

High School Comznattee Elected.
Pursuant TO the call Of County sap
erintendent Parker the members Of
the various district school boards In
the county assembled In the county
superintendent's once In Julesburg
last Saturday afternoon. The object
OF the meeting was stated by Mr..
Parker 70 be the election Of . high
school committee composed Of four
members selected fron tie directors Of
the school boards Of the county.
The meeting was organized by the
election Of J. p. Duncan chairman and
H c. AcNew secretary. Immediately
after organization had been effected .
motion WAS made by J. A. Dawson that
committee Of five be appointed by
the chairman, to act with
thc county superintendent In sc.
lecting nominees for the high school
committee. This motion prevailed
and the following gentlemen were
named by the chairman: J. A. Daw-
son, August Polzin, W. F. Miller, E. B.
Davis, c. L. Morgan. A recess was
then taken 70 await the sction Of the
nominating committee.
After short recess the house was
again called to order by the chairman
aud the report Of the nominating COM
mittee was receivsd. This report plac-
e1 In nomination for directors Of the
high school the following gentlemen:
H. C. McNew, J. A. Dawson, E. B.
Davis, David Smythe. A motion ahen
prevailed that the report OF the COM
mittee be accepted, the nominees elect
ed, and the committee discharged" !"
The passage Of this motion ended the
election, and the meeting then ad-
journed.
The high school committee selected
is composed Of good men and there Is
no doubt but that the high school or.
ganized and managed by it will be first
class In every respect. County Super
intendent Parker is ex-of1icio 9 mem.
Der Of the com mittee.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
CIeveland's Chances are Poor.

The large number Of newspaper cor
respondents who visited St. Louis dur.
ing the dedicatory ceremonies are con.
vinced that Ex-President Cleveland
was In "a very receptive mood" and
that he was unwilling to discourage
the sentiment, most evident 10 certain
quarters, which would make him the
next democratic candidate. The dem
onstrations with which Mr.. Cleveland
was greeted In the Fair city were most
pronounced and perhads significant.
In fact, Senator Hanna has since con.
hrmed the judgment Of the newspaper
men In this regard. While asserting
that President Roosevelt will be nomi
mated and elected beyond all noubt,
Mr.. Hanna says that he regards the
popular demonstration In favor OF
Mr.. Cleveland and the lstter's evident
qualification thereat as most signih.
cant. Mr.. Hanna believes Mr.. Cleve-
land would be the strongest candidate
the democrats could select but declares
in the same breath that even he would
not stand the slightest chance of sue
cess.
Prominent democrats say that Mr.
Cleveland stands no possible chance OF
securing the nomination. Mr.. Bryan
must be dealt with, Mr.. German must
be conciliatcd and the Parkerites must
be consulted, all Of which is vastly
amusing and demonstrates beyond
cavil that harmony is as remote from
democratic ranks as it has been ut any
time In the history Of the party.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
Land for Sale,

The undersigned will sell at q reas.
enable price the following described
land: Northwest quarter Of section
4-ll-4c, Sedgwick county, Colorado
This place is known as the Anna
X. Dynes place and is located neal
Sedgwick. Eighty acres is under the
ditch.
Andrew Acsch, Agent,
Julesburg, Colo.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
Quick Arrest

la. Gulledge Of verbena, Alabama
was twice In the hospital from severe
case Of piles causing "a tumors. After
doctors and all remedies failed, Buck.
lens Arnica Salve quickly arrested
further infamstion and cured him. l,
conauers aches and kills pain. 25c at
Mason g. Lavelle's druggists.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
From aCat scratch

on the arm, to the worst sort OF q burn
sore or boil, DeWitt's Witch Hazel
Salve is a quick cure. In buying
Witch Hazel Salve, be particular to
get De Witt's-this is the salve that
heals without leaving q scar. A spe'
cific for blind, bleeding, itching and
protruding piles. Sold by Mason +
Lavelle.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
Saturdays Ball Game

The Julesburg Junior Base Ball
Club defeated a similar organization
from Ogalalla upon the Julesburg
grounds last Saturday afternoon by a
score OF % 70 s. The score by innings
follows:
Julesburg 3-5-1-4-l-'-3-2---26
Ogalalla O-0-O-l-4-2-O-l- Z
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
Greatly Alarmed

~ S' osesSoo NoN6h, oos = ~ ~"
nently Cured by Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy.
Mr.. Fl. p. Burbage, student at law,
in Greenville, 8. c., had been troubled
for four or five years with continuous
cough which he says "greatly alarmed
me, causing me to fear that I was In
the first stage Of consumption" Mr..
Burbage having seen Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy advertised, concluded
to try it. Now read what he says Of it
II soon felt o remarkable change and
after using two bottles of the 25-cent
size. was permanently cured" Sold
by Mason & Lavelle.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15
Raled Hav for sale.

We have just received car load of a
dne quality OF baled hay which we will
sell for so cents per bale.
Fischer s. Piercy.
The Grit-advocate., 1903-05-15

Saddles at cost at O. J. Meline's.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-10-18


 are above us." looked and detected ari opening in the ceiling above us. And bidding the fakir to steady himself I mounted his shoulders and clamored through the aperture. drawing the lan- tern after me, and found myself on my knees before a giant of ferocious aspect with a raised hatchet in one of it's big hands. The first thing thought of was to let out yell of warning, but in throwing my arms upward had cast the yellow reflection of the lantern full on the terrible figure before me and I realized that it was only thing of stone. bug bear, nothing more. And calling to the Arab to throw up his coil of rope 1 held fast to one end of 1t while the fell low-with smothered groans scrambled up like a great over-grown monkey.
 So intensely dark was it that our lights made but a faint impression in the thick, heavy blackness about us. And we found 1t necessary to feel our way by dragging along on all fours. And in this way ] happened to an accident by suddenly plunging downward, hands dFst, into q pit which proved to be about four feet deep. called for help. then I noticed that I was on my knees before another figure. And holding the light on a level with my face realized that was staring in the shriveled one of a mummy. had bruised my shins good and lay staring speechlessly at the apparition near me with it's empty eye-sockets and It's yellow grinning teeth and the glittering object that rested on its forehead.
 'Tshmet!" I cried. what Is this?" Then I knew. It was the Great Black Diamond. And tore 1t from the shrungen forehead and held 1t under my light to examine 1t. It was a beautifully cut stone and much larger, saw at a glance, then the Great Mogul, possibly more than 300 car ats in weight. Engraved on the fiat side of it was the head of Cleopatra, a beau- tiful piece of workmanship. The fakir was again jubilant, and pluoking me by the sleeve. he began to hurry me out of the vault.
 Tt is not good" he gasped with chat tering teeth. "to tarry with the dead. Let us begone. By Allah! that staring thing will haunt my dreams" And drag ging me along with him we soon found ourselves breathing fresh air again.
 On reaching Cairo safely I gave Ishmet 300 pounds in English gold and parted with him. to see him no moro. And on the same day made preparations to cross over to Europe with my precious burden. It was then after I had board ed the steamer, that I realized that had been the victim of a fraud. But had not been the only one who had euf fered in the game. and. finding little consolation in that, kept my secret to myself.
 Ishmet. the falxir. learned was a jew eler by trade. and was famous for his wonderful achievements in the art of making fake diamonds swindiing and crime. And I. as were others, had fallen victim to his wiles. During the past year he had guided more than a dozen adventurers to the lonely mountain in the Baarah plateau, and each one, as I, had had the honor of staring at the shriv- eled countenance of Cleopatra and the exclusive right to rob that notable lady of the Great Black Diamond.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-10-18

let us swear you are worth your breed ing"
 It Is but seldom that our secular editors become poetic, but the following from The Macon Telegraph Is an exception to the general rule, if we make an exception fin an exception and call attention to the localism which spells the poetry.
 If there is a day that Is rarer than one in June it is a clear crisp golden day in October, such as we have been having recently In Macon. If one can feel com Portable and grow at any time 1t would be easy to catch the inspiration from the golden rod, and the ripening pumpkin pie. All nature is kin-having life from common source. The birds have gone through their moulting season and put on their winter p1umage. Man sheds his summer duds and draws closer about him the draperies of winter time. The air is bracing and he takes on a bit more of life.
 Of all the resurrected love letters it seems to us that those of Margaret Full Ter, to as lover of her youth is the most uncalled for. She was married to the Marquis Cssoli and with their infant child they were lost in a ship wreck. hawthorne is said to have had Margaret ruler rule! in mind when he introduced into
 bhthedale Romance" the character of Zenoola. She was a remarkable clas- slcai scholar-having begun the study of Latin at six.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-10-18
LITTLE LITERARY SIDE ISSUES

James Lane Allen furnishes this sug- gestive paragraph in his Mettle of the Pasture:
 q wish to God that some virtue, say the virtue of truthfulness, could be known throughout the world as an unfailing mark of the American-the mettle of the pasture Not to lie in business, not to lie in love, not to lie in religion-to be honest with ones fellowmen. with wo- men. with God-suppose the rest of man. kind would agree that this constituted the characteristic of the American! That would be fame for the ages"
 The following Is a description of the in- Auence of Aliens Mother. She 1t was who instilled into his young mind that close observance and love of nature which characterizes equally his life and writ inSs. Together they rambled through woods and meadows, together watched the birds, the opening flowers, the burst ing buds. While teaching him to love nature, she also cultivated love of re- fined literature. and inculcated the deep veneration for spiritual things so ap- parent in his books. This gentle mother was for a number of years his only teacher.
 The mysterious title '"The Mettle of the Pasture" is a thought from Shakespeare's 8 Henry the Fifth. And you good yeo- man whose limbs were made in England show us here the mettle of your pasture
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-10-18
Along Paths Literary
By Arcu Nosirrah

time. Mir. Santayana's relation of what Browning was not, Is what is driven into MT. Hapgoods mind to stay. Per haps Mir. Trent's contrast of, the work of Mir. Chesterton and Mir. Brooke will in- dicate the contrast which Mir. Hapgood sees in MT. Chesterton and Santayana-- the one more entertaining and suggestive and the other more solid and valuable. Mir. Santayana being a philosopher in all senses of the word, would as naturally as Mir Brooke make a study of Browning (and not become an essayist as MT. Chesterton does) subordinating the func- tons of the essayist to the critic and treats his subject sincerely and thorough ly. Professor Trent tells us that Brooke would mot yield unreserved homage to Browning in his capacity as ia weaver of grotesque, highly intellectual subtleties in verse;" Sometimes the telling of what an author is not as in this instance Mir. Santayana's province throws a white light upon his genius. which is a revela- tion. This critic shows Browning intel lectual processes to have been so ob- scure that he is not to be comprehended by any but the most divining students and not always is his meaning clearly
 Sir Alfred Lyall. It is interesting to note Prof. Trent's observation as regards another critic in the English men of let ters series. This he has to say of the critic who had the task of writing of Tennyson: Tt Is true that the critic of Tennyson has a somewhat less complex task than the critic of Browning, and that he certainly does not have so many extravagantly rabid praisers or denounc- CTS to placate: but the task of criticising Tennyson thus early in a sane and bal anced fashion Is a sufficient one to make us admire heartily Sir Alfred Lyalls very satisfactory performance. Yet his book is certainly not packed with epi- grams or with novel points of view. One can easily fancy a cursory reader put ting 1t down after Mir. Chesterton's with a distinct feeling of disappointment. The less piquantly interesting book Is the bet ter, because it's author perceived clearly the demands laid upon him and forget ting himself in his subject, sought to treat the latter as sincerely and thor oughly as his space allowed. If Mir. Paul in his book on Arnold, and. Chesterton in his on Browning. had practiced Sir AL fred Lyalrs self-restraint we should have had three notable contributions to the criticism of Victorian poetry. As 1t is, we have but one.
 Professor Trent's own view of Brown ing is very interesting: But others low ing Browning's poetry intensely and sec ing in the man truly noble character and range of powers. will regret that. while his frame is apparently secure, his work in the mass seems likely to inspire the few rather than the many: that it will continue to repel or attract with undue violence: that It's most admirable portions will only with some difficulty win their way into the treasure cham bers in which the English speaking peo- pie preserve the most priceless of the possessions that time has left them"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-10-18

Tn our last. we reviewed some of the works of E. P. Roe. and as the names are so near alike. we will now take up the works of E. A. Poe, whose poetry we have been reading lately.
 The first we read was a little piece of verse called "Annabel Lee," and If our subscribers want to read something that will make them think they are swinging in hammock on a summer day (but with black cloud coming up) they ought to read 1t. It swings like a pendu- lum and tinkles like an eight-day clock: but we confess we can't see much sense in 1t. It's mostly lamentation. It seems that MT. Poe liked Annabel Cor Hanna az we suppose she was called for shorO very much. and that somebody pester.-c her to death. Although Poe says it was the angels. we presume that is merely poetic figure of speech; 1t must have been a case of mother-in-law.
 Another poem of MT. Poes is called
 The Raven." an1 our parson told us 1t was full of mysticism. We found it so. So far as metre is concerned, it runs like white hickory wagon that has just been greased, but there's not much If what we call sense to 1t. A fellow. on a rainy. night. is sitting by the fire read ing Cor ''pondering over many curious volume of forgotten lore" as Mir. P. puts it) when in Hops a bi:d called a aven, and sits himself on a plaster fiyg r, preening and going on as birds will do. Then the fellow gets excited about noth- ing-calls the raven a beast. a devil. a fiend. and so on. It reminds us of the way old man Hank Bivens does when he gets on a drunk. Our readers know t,at he always stops in front of the local tonso-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-10-18
OBSCURE MARTYRS.

By Sir Edwin Arnold. They have no place in the storied page; No rest in marble shrine; They are past and gone with perished age: They died and made no sign. But work shall find their wages yet. And deeds that their God did not forget, Done for their love divine Those are their mourners. and these shall
 be
 The crown of their immortality. Oh. seek them not where sleep the dead, Ye shall not find their trace: No 1raven stone Is at their head, No green grass hides their face. But sad, unseen is their silent grave It may be the sand or deep sea WaVe' Or lonely desert place;
 For they need no prayers and no mourn They are tombed in true hearts that knew
 them well. They healed sick hearts till theirs were And dried sad eyes till theirs lost sight, We shall know at least by certain How they fought and fell in the fight. Salt tears O. sorrow unbeheid Passionate cries unchronicled, And silent strifes for the right Angels shall count them, and the earth
 shall sigh ...,. That she left her best children to battle
 and die.