The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1903-09-20


well. it's a burning shame the way
this house is disordered! Your collars
and ties are scattered all over the room.
Are they, my dear? That dogs been
M there again, then. Yes" continued
Smith. as he drew his friend into the par
lor, Il would not take big pot OF money
for that dog Why, the noble fellow saves
me about twenty seedlings week
so | see," chuckled Jones; and you
bet I'll have one before noon tomorrow
-Tit-Bits.
81 have son." said Senator Spooner, of
Wisconsin. at the Waldorf recently, ac-
cordng to the New York Times who is
by way of being a lawyer in Milwaukee,
and | never opposed his choice OF pro
fession after an experience his mother
and | had with him when he was boy
OF eight.
The three of us were walking on one
OF Washington's avenues one evening, as
was our custom during my earlier days
in Congress, when the lad announced that
he was tired and would return to the
hotel as soon as l gave him some money.
You don't need any money to get
back to the hotel l said. It's only few
blocks
Ives, but you see, papa he replied
quickly, suppose l should be held UP by
highwayman and he should say: Your
money or your life like they always do,
and l didn't have any money You
wouldn't want your little boy killed for
being broke, would you?' "
1t is scarcely necessary to add that the
lad got the money, although whether the
sum was large enough to do more than
buy plate of ice cream Senator Spooner
did not state
A good story is being told about
manufacturer who is credited with be-
ing extremely disagreeable to his EN-
ployes.
A man called on him one day to ask
for work
Have you a recommendation of char
acter?''r he asked the stranger.
NO" replied he, but ] have friends
in the village who will give me one"
Putting his bundle on the floor, he left.
In the course of half an hour ne return-
ed, took up his bundle, and was leaving
the office without a word. Did you get
your character" asked the manufacture
er
The man, without hating a moment or
raising his eyes, said:
No mister but l got yours"'-Cas-
sells Journal.
60 West, my son. said the Eastern
broker, and dispose of that worthless
stock to the guileless Westerners.'
Three weeks later the father received
the following telegram from his son:
Il followed your instructions, but you
made a great mistake. They don't do
business that way out here. Telegraph
NE $4,000 to make good their losses or
ship me coffin by express"
After mature reflection the father sent
the money with this comment:
advice was all right, but you went too
far West. louisville Herald.
The car blew out a fuse the other night.
The motorman turned In despair to the
conductor and said:
There goes fuse, and l haven't an
other to replace it.
Passengers more or less versed in
electrical science offered suggestions, but
none struck the crank man as practical.
A bright idea, however, did strike him.
Got a hatpin miss?" he said, bowling
to a pretty young girl.
The girl obligingly produced the desired
article, and it was soon put to use and
the car started. Half block on it gave
cut, and the motorman again appealed
for wire.
How would this do?" asked a man,
taking hold of curtain cord
1t did, and the car went through to
the termlnum.-Louisville Herald.
A farmer and his wife had agreed to
separate. They had only one child.
Everything friendly?" inquired
neighbor
"oh, yes,'' replied the old man care
lessly
mo trouble about making a fair divi-
sion Of the property"
oh, no. She gifts the kid an the
canned fruit, an 1 git the pig an the
apples. That's even enough, amt it?"-
Louisville Herald.
Andrew Carnegie tells the story of a
canny Scot whom he knew and who lived
In small settlement some miles from
the nelgnDorlng town. The distance, how
ever, could be considerably lessened by
cutting through large estate. This prac-
llce was accordingly so much resorted to
that the owner gave peremptory orders
Tor all trespassers to be turned around
and sent back the way they came
One time, however, the Scot in ques-
ton, having occasion to take some arti-
Giles to town IN wheelbarrow, decided to
run the risk and was about half way
through when he saw the owner in the
distance. Not relishing the idea of retrac-
ing his steps, he bethought himself of
scheme, and promptly turning the wheel
barrow to face the direction from which
he came, he sat down upon it as if rest
ing.
Soon the owner came up, and seeing
him there roughly ordered him to turn