Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1903-11-26
Humorous

now run excursions and observation
trains TO the scenes Of all their i'm.
portant wrecks,"-Ex.
Let us have peace" said the Eng.
lish Invader; ''can you not see that tho
white strangers love the redmenT
"Ah. yes" replied the intelligent In.
dian, they love the very ground we
walk upon."-rhlladelphia Press.
Silence Fell as a Pan.--Young Wife
(at dinnerl--l didn't tell you, Adolphus.
cooked the dinner today myself.
Husband Indeed! Then In my
thoughts l have been doing poor Mary
Ann great injustice.
Weekly.
Fond Of Fancy work.--"Does your
wife do much fancy work." Fancy
work. She won't even let porous
plaster come into the house without
ctucheting n red border round II aud
running yellow ribbon through the
holes, Tit Bits.
A Rare Chance.--Nell.--I was de-
lighted to meet her at bargain sale
today. Belle-I thought you detested
her. Nell-So l do; and during the
crush found chance to give her q
few good pokes on my own account.
Philadelphia Ledger.
Passerby-Well, we'll! Have you
been getting u licking. little man9 Lit.
tie Man--You called de turn. stranger.
Foist de Jones kid he licked me, den
ma licked me fer tEhtin, den wen pa
came home he licked me fer losln' to
de Jones &id!--Boston Post.
Such weather. exclaimed Mr.. Hen.
ry Peek. I'm free TO say this"
WHATS that Henry?" interrupted his
wife. Beg pardon. my dear" he be-
gan meekly. Il mean 'with-your per.
mission I'm free to say this Is the
worst climate under the sun. Phil
adelphla Press
Yes" said the dentist. Ito insure
painless extraction you'll have to take
gas, and that's fifty cents extra"
"oh" said the farmer. Il guess the
old way'll be best; never mind no gas"
You're a brave man" "Oh! IL amt
me that's got the tooth: It's my wife"
Philadelphia Ledger
No Advantage tn uer.-"Are you
eraining your daughters in the house.
hold arts!" mo. What's the use?
Jest as soon as got one OF them
trained SOS she could help me. some
man would come along an marry her.
An men are havln' 1t too easy these
days, anyhow. w."--Chicago Post.
A hopeless case: "a great big, able.
bodied man like you ought to be
ashamed TO ask stranger for money"
said the well-to.do citizen. II know
| ought" answered Meanderlng Mike;
but, mister, I'm Jes' naturally too
kind hearted TO tap IN on de head aud
take It way from him. m."-washngton
Star.
II see you have chicken for dinner"
'YesSuh," said Erastus Pinkley.: "I
hope you bought the chicken" well.
no: but the transaction we're strictly
regular. Dat chicken has been rooSt.
in on my fence foh months wlfout
payin' muffin. an reckoued 1t were
bout time to fohClose e"-Washlngton
Star.
He-"So the engagement Is broken
OFF, She Yes. He told her he
thought she should stop reading nov
els and read something more substan-
tial; something that would improve
her" He-"Well?" She-"well, the
idea Of man intlmating to his nancee
that she. could be improved In any
way!'-Philadelphia Press.
Sad part of 1t: What did you do
with that fellow who stole the horsep'
asked the tenderfoot. "NothIn' much"
answered Broncho Bill-"jist took the
hoss away from him" 'Is that allT"
Yep. He war settIn' in the saddle
with a rope around his neck tied to
tree when we took the boss away,
though. h."-Tndlanapolis Sun.
Stranger-Are the walters here at
tentlve to your Pretty Cashier
Sir-r-r-r! Stranger-Oh, no offense
assure you. was only carrying out
the instructions printed on the bill of
fare, which say: please report any
inattention Of walters to cashier" And
| thought II they were inattentive to
you would report them-that's ALL
Baltimore American.
Well trained: I'm anxious to get
the names Of all present" said the re-
porter; will you oblige me-" "Oh!
said the meek little man, you may
put down Mrs. Henry Peck and hus-
band" you mean Mr.. and Mrs.
Henry Peck, don't your Il would
prefer that" he replied, with a fur.
tive glance over his shoulder, "but,
for goodness sake, don't say gave
1t to you that way."-PhiIadelphla
Press.
Overheard in Court.-Counsel Ito
witness)-How can you prove that the
prisoner stole six Of your handker-
chiefs? "Why, because they were my
handkerchiefs that were found on him.
Look at them for yourself. They are
exactly the same as mine" THAT
proves nothing. l have some handker.
chiefs like those" That's quite pos
sible," replied the witness; Several
more Of mine are missing"-Ex.
In the near future: Domestic
Don't you want to go out this after.
noon, Mrs. Manning" Mistress-"Yes,
Mary, l should like to go out, but LIN
afraid 1t Will incommode YOU" Do
mestic-"Oh, never mind me, marin;
It's so long since you've had an after.
noon off | must insist that Won take