The Minneapolis journal., 1903-04-18
GAVE Big HANDICAP
But the Canoe Won the Race From
the Row Boat and
Bicycle.
Paretic No. IL Relates an Incident
=. !. !. Of His Days at
:>.-. -. College. -. ~.

+ 1.-THE greatest race ever saw" said
Paretic No. H.. at the weekly session Of
the Paresis club, was one in which a
roWboat gave half a mile handicap to a.
bicycle, and a canoe gave about 200 yards
to the rowboat. It was during the four
4 or five years spent in; college. It may
surprise some Of you to hear that ever
saw the inside Of a university building,
but such Is the fact and you may have
noticed that although I have contracted a
vocabulary of slang from constant asso-
citation with you other gazabes, I still
kretain the habit of using correct gram
Fmar.''a1n - a.: = 49, 49, r. Il =
+ Fl rise to point of privilege" said
FPareticF to fine No. IL three rounds for
violating the bylaw which forbids one
member boasting about his birth or bring
ing up i>I5z -
f During my second year on the cam
pus,' resumed Paretic No: H. after the
fine had been duly inflicted and paid, for
1 spent more time on the campus than I
did in the Class rooms, a girl by the name
of Kittfe Clark was attaching to her
girdle the, scalps of about all the eligible
males in the place. She was little dark
haired lady, with a pair: Of black eyes
that were warranted to deal death and
destruction at any range UP to two miles.
From the first, however, three boys were
picked to divide the money in the race.
There was a little fellow by the name Of
Patterson, whom we generally called
Foxy Pat; a yellow-haired giant by the
name of Jack Rivers, and Barry Lincoln,
a sort Of Ward McAllister in the college
society. 'oThe girl distributed her favors
| among these three SO impartially that a
bookmaker would have placed the odds
at exactly 2 to 1 on each. @s*r.t
n
:"Riyers played guard on the football
team, and Patterson was captain. and
quarterback. Lincoln accordingly had a
clear field every Saturday afternoon, and
used to- escort the girl to all the games,
which worried the aiother two so much
| that the eleven that year made the poor
| est record in ten seasons: Barry didn' t
really enjoy it any more than the others,
however, for Miss Clark used to call at
| tentfon to any good plays that Pat or
| Rivers made, just for the pleasure of see
| ing him ssquirm. &teerz- '.a :. 49, ~. -
During the following summer quite
| a bunch of the college people were at a
little lake in the state. When I say that
| Miss Clark was there it is unnecessary
to mention that Rivers, Patterson and
| Lincoln were on deck also. None of them
seemed to be getting a. lead, and some of
the boys were betting that dark horse
Y,
| when 1t was too windy for any kind of
| boating, a bunch Of the fellows got to-
gether in the clubhouse and laid our plans
for a, German.
| RI was sitting facing the door, and I
saw Barry Lincoln get up softly and tip
toe out. A bicycle was standing against
the porch, and a minute later Barry
swung out into the road humping himself
n nj
| the track He hadn't any more than made
| his getaway before Rivers looked around
and missed him, and in three seconds he
was out on the porch and making record
time down the steps to the dock. Pat
saw Jack leave, dropped the list of fa-
vors he had been making out and was
right ON his heels.
'sThe rest of US tumbled at once that
Lincoln had figured on getting over to
Kitty Clarlfs cottage and asking her to
dance the German with him. He took the
only wheel in sight. so Rivers hit for the
boats, and when the rest of the bunch
| reached the porch. Jack was just showing
off. The girl lived in a cottage across
the bay, a good mile from the clubhouse by
! water and about three miles by road;
sandy road at that. 1t looked as If Pat
had been left at the post. but the other
two had. a pretty even start, for consid-
-ering the wind, 1t was toss up whether
Jack could get across the bay before Barry
got around by land. There were no more
wheels, and Pat couldn't give Rivers two
ndred yards and beat, him out in a mile
rowing race, especially in rough water.
where muscle counted more than any
thing else.
Pat took the steps down to the dock
four at q jump, and went past the row
boats without looking at them A little
sailing canoe was drawn up in a cove right
near the boa athouse, and Pat had the craft
out not more than fifteen seconds after
Rivers started It looked like suicide to
take such crank craft out in that
| weather, but Pat had nerve to burn The
wind was nearly square on. his beam, and
| he could sail faster than Jack could row,
but the breeze was so. stir that he had to
| lun half a dozen times on the mile over,
and every time he luffed Rivers got back
what he had lost.
The last quarter mile the wind slack
ened, and Pat gained fast but he was still
a good forty yards behind when Rivers
was nearly at the dock. The shore made
| "a sharp bend here, and there was a spit
OF sand reaching out into the lake couple
of hundred yards from the dock, with a
little cove behind It. The cottage was