davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13
Tickling Sensntions,

Bacon-When a fly gets on a mane bald head it seems to tickle the man.
 Egbert-Yes; and when a fly gets on the sticky fly paper it seems to tickle the man with the bald head also.-Yop- Aers Statesman.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13
SfriLinr Coincidence.

'I don't suppose he meant arything un- kind, said the young woman, but 1t was 6 very startling coincidence.
 What do you meanF
 Just before Harold and I got married, his friends persuaded him to join a don't worry club. 'o-London Tit Bits.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13
Shake Into Your shoes

Al,er's Fo5t-Ease. It cures painful. swollen, smarting. sweating feet. Makes new shoes easy Sold by all Druggists and Shoe Stores Don't accept any substitute. Sample FREE. Address A. $. Olmsted. Le Roy. N. Y.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

What shade do you wish nowE' said the medium, reaching behind the black cabinet. Gan really nave any l cali for: asked the woman WHo Lad never been 10 a seance be fore. Most assuredly." Then. ii it : all the same to you, lll take par ot window shades -PglIadelphla Record.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

Ifyou do not derive prompt and satis- factory results from the use of Peruna, write at once to Dr. Hartman, giving a full statement of your case and he will be pleased to give you his valuable ad- wise gratis.
 Address Dr. Hartman, President of The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, Ohio
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

Do you believe" said the lady with the sere and yellow, that the good die young?' How could l?' exclaimed tEe flatterer, "aow could I. and you so good-er that is,-' Baltimore News,
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

The reason some men seem to have such ready answers is because they are wToLs= Washington tia. Democrat
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

there is d future for you if you will only live up to your own judgment MT. arooves- 'l hope 10 do better than that. 1 am going 10 try to live up to my press notices. -Bos- ton Transcript
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

She-"Mrs Boreton called to-day, and thought she never go. He" But you are so amiable, l suppose you never gave her the slightest hint that you wanted her to go. She" Indeed, l did not. Ii had. she'd be nere TOW Town and Country.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

An. he said to her over their ice cream, it is very sweet but not so sweet as you. ' It Is soft; she returned, promptly, but not so soft as you And 1t Is cold. he com cluded. but not so cold as yC-l. '-Pniadel- nIla Rre.s
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

Do not believe Piso's Cure for Consump- tion has an equal for coughs and colds-J. F. Boyer, Trinity Springs, Ind, Feb. b, 1900.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

Gushing Young Woman (to famous aetor) -"Oh. do you know. Mr. Starleigh I'm sim ply mad to go on the stage! Famous Act or-'A es, 1 eaould think you would be, my dear young lady! Punch.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

When a man admits that he l. a crank he really thinks he Is entitled to some credit for It-N Washington (la.l Democrat.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

Carpets can be coored on the floor with Putnam Fadeess Dyes
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

page digested k better than a volume hurriedly read Maeaulay.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

Life's li.;le frets call for its largest faith. Rams Horn.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13
stops the Cough

and works off the cold. Laxative Bromc Quinine Tablets. Price 9 cents
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

Misfortune Is oftentimes the stepping stone to fortune-t t'nited Presbyterian.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

Keep out of the ruts of ejudice.-Farm and Home.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

People who get married fer joke deserve thejr hnish.-Cnicago paily News.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

The sweetest pie contains patience, indus trdy, energy Farm and Home
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

A dull man occasionally makes a cutting remark nieago Daily News.
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13
The tsunI Thing.

q would like to know. asked the parent, who had son in need of some further educa- ton what is the course at your college
 The usual half mile course of ciudefs and all that sort of thing. you know. absent mlndediy replied the president of me great nstitutlon.-Pn Philadelphia Press.
 The quiet thoughts of great men make the oudest report.-N. Y. Herald
 The sweetest pie contains patience, indus
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13

Opium and Liquor Habits Cured. Book free. B. N Woolley, Nj. b, Atlanta, Ga
The Monticellonian., 1903-08-13
DOCTORS SPECIAL NOTICE.

Fl have prescribed the Complete Treat ment called by my name and sold by all druggists in hundreds of thousands of verk serious cases, with unexampled success, and most satisfactory results. n-DR. SLO- CGM.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
The Lost Queen
Is Perturbed
Senator Fulton Comes To Rescue
Of Fair Lady From Grants
Pass

Miss centenna Rothermel. the visit
ing queen from Grants Pass. was
rnourned for lost on Tuesday by mem
bers Of the regatta committee. Queen
centenna was expected 10 reach the
city with the other visiting queens on
the Potter. but the young lady did not
put In an appearance. She arrived,
however, on Tuesday night. Senator
Fulton having delegated himself her
maJesty's especial escort.
The senator had been down In the val
ley and fortunately started north on
Queen Centenna's train. iii luck be-
fel the passengers and the train was
Ave hours late In reaching Portland.
The queen missed the boat and for a
time was surely perturbed. Spying Sen
ator Fulton, who greatly resembles his
newspaper pictures, Queen centenna
appealed 10 him In her predicament
and the gallant senator responded like
true Astorian. He placed the fair
young woman aboard the right train
and at Astoria saw that she was accord
ed fitting reception.
Queen centenna feared for time
that she would miss the coronation ex-
ercises, but arrived In ample time 10
Participate in the pretty ceremony.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
Trophy Goes to
MuItnomah Club
Local Team Fell Down Badly
Last Night And Lost to
Visitors

The Multaomah Athletic Clubs bowl
Ing team had no dlfficulty In winning
The cup hung up by the regatta COM
mittae. The Astoria Commercial team
defeated the visitors during the after
noon. but at night fell down badly. The
night games were characterized by un-
usually bad luck. centers being numer-
GUS. On the other hand the visitors
bowIed fairly, and. while their scores
were not Of a record character, they
averaged we'll The locars last game
~ 2G3 was the best Of the tournament,
while Crafts 81 vas the highest single
game. The scores by games during the
afternoon were as follows:
Astoria----221. 247, "a, 2il-s57.
Multnomah-222. 2s2, 223. 2S3--s40,
At night the totals by games were:
Muiinomah-239, 252, ZIG. 244-951.
Astoria----le0, 224, 1874, 2s3--S71.
The averages Of the players:
II. A, weis. 1915; Morrie Dunno,
;s.75; c. Zeller, 1870: E. Jennings
Rail, 49,
B. ]. Pye. Al; J. w. Mathena, s9.s2;
p. !. Petersen, 1890; NJ. r. Hardesty,
81. 90; +. H. Goodell, $3.50; p. e.
soyey. $3.50.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
REBELLED AGAINST LIGHTS
SALMON IN STORE WINDOW BREAK GLASS
WHEN ELECTRIC BULB SHOWS UP

An attempt was made last evening to
place an electric bulb in the salmon
tank In the window of Foard & Stokes
store and as result confusion reigned
for time The fish rebelled against
the innovation of Illuminating features
and dashed against the glass in their
excitement The sides of the tank are
made of glass placed in sections and
these were broken, one salmon injur-
ing itself so badly that II is thought it
will die. The fish were placed in their
prison, which was hurriedly patched
up, and fresh water was turned in.
However no further attempt was made
to introduce electric lights and the rep
resentatives of the chief product of the
northwest resumed their former pass
iveness.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
Personal MENTION.

Hon. Alex. LaFollette. Marion
county former, IL taking in the regatta.
He is accompanied by his daughters.
j. c. Cooper OF Independence. is In
the city. Independence. Mr.. Cooper
says. win roll in wealth Of hops next
fall.
Mrs. A. l.. Fulton and son returned
yesterday from a two months vacation
In Baker county.
Homer C. Campbell, city editor Of the
Walla Walla Union, is spending his va
cation at Astoria and Seaside.
John Holman Is in the city. Mr.. Hoi-
man is an enthusiastic devotee Of re-
gatta sports. and nobody wears broad
er smile than his this week.
Hon. J. N. Williamson, representative
OF the First congressional district, ar
rived In the city last night and ac-
knowledged himself subject OF Queen
Frances.
@. A. Hartman, Jr.. F. w. Lamp
kin and C. b. Sampson arrived in the
city yesterday from Long beach. Mes
srs Lampkin and Hartman will return
10 their homes In Pendleton after re-
gatta and Mr.. Sampson will go to New
port.
Walter Williams is in the city from
Ilwaco.
Gust Jenson and Aate Ivy, both Of
Finland, took out first citizenship pa
pers yesterday. n. G, /. Olsen, native
Of Norway, became full-fledged citi-
zen OF the United States.
f. E. Brodie OF Oregon City Is visiting
in Astoria during the week.
Hon. Sig. Sichel. member of the Port
land police board, is down for the re-
gatta.
Mrs, David NJ. Dunno, Of Portland,
was in the city yesterday, returning on
the night train.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
Sudden Death
OF Joe Black
Logger Of Gray's River Is Killed
While At Work--Body
Brought to City

Word reached the city yesterday that
Joe Black. logging operator on Gray's
river. had been killed at his camp some
time Tuesday evening. Later In the
day the body was brought to Astoria
and IL now lying at Pohrs undertak
ing rooms.
Information regarding the circunlstan
ees surrounding the sudden death Of Mr.
Black are meagre, but the facts, no far
as can be gathered, are that he WAS
personally engaged IN hauling from
some thick timber log of medium
nize. u guy wire being attached TO It.
The small cable either broke or slipped
from i,s fastening. and flying through
the air. the end struck the unfortunate
man on the neck. killing him Instantly.
II ID thought that the force OF the blow
broke his neck, though an examination
has not been made to prove whether
this IL 80.
Mr., Black was well known In this
city. lie and his wife and two children
had resided on Gray's river for the past
three years. During his
stay there MIR Black had been engaged
In the logging business. Part OF the
time he was employed at the saldren
camp and during the balance he operat-
cd Independently. Before moving 20
Gray's river Mr., Black lived at vancou
yer, His home originally was Kelso
and there his late father and other
members OF his family were buried.
He was about 20 years Of age. The
body viii be taken TO the last named
place In day or no aud there the fun
eral will be held, The full arrange
ments have not been made. but Il is
supposed that the services will be held
under the auspices OF the Odd Fellows,
us the deceased was member In good
standing OF lodge Of that order.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
HEATHER LEAVES TODAY

The light house tender Heather, Capt
tain Gregory. will depart this morning
for northern waters to replace aids to
navigation and visit the lighthouses
along the North Pacific coast. Captain
Gregory wore a sorrowful expression
yesterday when discussing his coming
departure, but said he supposed he
should be thankful that he was able
to enjoy one day of the regatta. The
absence OF the Heather win W Iloted by
the big crowd today, for the vessel is
an attractive one. ...
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
DECK HAND IS DROWNED
FRANK TIN EMPLOYED ON THE STEAMER
hAsSALo LOSES HIS LIFE IN RIVER NEAR
ST hELENS

While removing freight from the o.
Il. & n steamer. Hassalo, yesterday
morning, Frank Tim. deck hand. fell
from the gang plank on which he was
wheeling truck and was drowned In
the Columbia The accident occurred
at st. Helens where the steamer had
made landing While pushing a
truck on which was loaded truck,
the man lost his footing and began to
slip backwards. The weight Of the
truck, heavily freighted as 1t was, push
ed him on and he fen into the river.
the incumbrance falling upon him
He sank instantly and failed TO rise
10 the surface again, At the time a
boat was lowered from the steamer and
a party made up Of the crew searched
for the body. but without favorable re-
suits. Upon the arrival OF the Hassa-
10 In the city Agent Lounsberry tele-
phoned to Coroner Gin at st. Helens
the circumstances OF the death, and the
coroner replied and said that every ef-
fort possible would be made to find the
body, but 1t Is rot known whether II
was recovered or not.
Little is known of Frank Tim, except
Ing that he was young man and was
resident OF East Portland. He had
been engaged as a deck hand on the
steamer for only three days.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
House Full Of
Good Customers
Busy Times At The Corner Of 9th
And Com'l Sts.-.Come and
Investigate

Music makes the world go round.
Why not have some music in your
house? Your neighbors are buying pi-
amos. why shouldn't you? If You can't
play the piano. buy pianola. We will
make you a combination offer on any
piano and pianola that you may select
that will surprise you. This brings the
best music within the reach Of every
one. Anybody can play the pianola.
Both Mr.. Weir and Mr.. Smith, the
genial statesmen with the Eilers Exhi-
bition Sale. were kept busy waiting on
the interested visitors at the store yes
terday, ana the results are recorded
below.
WHERE THEY GO.
Mr. Charles E. Pearson of Hammond
selects a fine quarter-sawed- case
Kimball piano. This is Chicago's fam
Gus and most popular piano that took
the only prize for superlative merit at
the Columbian Exposition and Worlds
fair at Chicago in 1898.
Mr.. Sam Hanson, also of Hammond,
selects a fine Mathusheck piano for his
home. There was never a time when
pianos and organs could be bought SC
cheaply and on such easy terms as now
at the Exhibition Sale of the Eilers
Piano House in progress at the Mason
ic building.
| Mr.. Gus Gronnel Of Elsie in the Ne
halem valley buys a surprise for his
family for cash. 1t Is surprising what
you can secure for small sum o.
money at this up-to-date store. Lcrgt
sales, small profits. our motto. Money
back If not entirely satisfied, our prac.
tice.
THE TIME TO BUY.
The time to buy is when the Other
fellow is anxious to sell. We are in the
Nanxious position, and, hence, now yor
can get the best possible price and
terms from us. Our sale closes with the
regatta and the unsold stock must bt
shipped back to Portland. Therefore
we are cutting prices to surely and
quickly unload the present stock.
FACTS AND FIGURES.
You can now secure fine, new, ma
hogany cased $S25 piano for $176, at S1I
down and Sc per month, a superb 1885,
piano, golden oak case, attachments
| for $500 at $25 down and $40 per month
handsome mahogany cased $3.50 piano
for SS25 at $S5 down and $l5 per month
and s42s, $500, $3.50. and 5000 new pianos
for 1907, s41S, s442, and s4S5 and terms
10 suit.
HOW CAN WE DO IT?
The answer to that question is simple
Large, quick sales that's all. And yor
get the benefit of a rush sale. For thai
is surely what is transpiring at tht
Eilers Piano House Exhibition Sale
Come in and see for yourself, Now il
your opportunity while the stock il
complete and you have the time, ant
the prices are right.
EfLERS PIANO HOUSE
Ninth and Commercial streets
F. N. SMITH. Manager
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20

Don't forget that our store closes at
12 a. m. Order early.
JOHNSON BROS.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
CnlNERY EN- ROUTE

The City Water Works have finished
laying the main to point 500 feet from
the Hume mill and the company haH
begun to meet 1t with n six inch pipe.
There is a car load of machinery COM
ing from the East and as soon as 1t ar
rlycs will be installed and the work of
manufacturing lumber will then begin.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
ToNlGHr'S PLAY

"A Black Flag" is four act comedy
drama and Is one of the very best to DC
put on by the Allen Stock Company
during Its engagement In the city. Thls
play will be performed tonight and
great interest Is felt In the forthcom-
ing performance.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
SoBERED HIM UP

A regatta visitor who spent the early
part of last evening in a wild delerium
of Joy, fell into the river in the vicin-
ity of the Star saloon at a late hour
last night, He was fished out by Pat
Kennedy. He was wet and sober
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
CHEAP FUEL.

Fir slabwood, stove legths, $3.50 per
cord. Boxwood $3.50 per large load.
Phone 22ll Black. Kelly, the trans
fer man.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-20
PIANO TUNER.

For good, reliable piano work see
your local tuner. Th. Frederickson.
2O7l Bond stree. Phone 2074 Red.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-03-12
:: :. i. + ! j. j. . = j. ..' i j. j. = t. !.
+ y
+ PERSONAL POINTS. i
+ y
s j. !: = + !. j. J. j. j. J. :. + :. = :. !. ~

Chas Daunte, OF Dumas, is in the
city.
Mayor Ryan, of Rob Roy, is in the
city.
{. II. Newell, of Crossett, is in the
city.
c. Prettyman, of Texarkana, is here
today.
w. b. Powell is in the city from
England.
Mrs. Fannie Nordman went to Little
Roca to12sv.
NJ. w. Ware, of Linwood was here
yesterday.
w. F. Block was here yesterday from
Little Rock.
Ike NJ Meyers of Helena, was here
at the shoot.
w. F. Autrey, of Hamburg. was in
tie city yesterday.
A. K Newly, of Milville. was in
the city yesterday.
Mr.. Bolivar E. Pitkins, of Wabba-
seka. is in the city.
Miss Maggie Mauris, of Dallas, Tex.
is in the city. the guest of friends.
MIS-. A. Freshman, of Crossett, was
in the city yesterday.
G. A. Kimberley, of Little Rock, was
in the city yesterday.
Mr. W. E. Guise, OF Hamburg, was
in the city yesterday on business.
Paul r. I.itzke of Little Rock, was
in the city yesterday, to attend the
shoot.
Rev Frank Thompson is near
Chicago, helping his brother in a re-
vival meeting.
j. T. Lloyd left for southern trip
over the Valley road today and will re-
turn Sunday.
Miss Jessie Monroe and Miss Allie
Couch are the guests of Mrs. Martin
on Sixth avenue.
Mrs. l.. O. Knox has returned from
Charleston, H.. where she has been
visiting her parents.
VIM. Brown, of Carlyle, ILL.,, is in
the city. He came here to look after
some land which he wants to buy.
Mr. John King, of st. Louis, who
has been visiting here has gone to
Hot Springs for few days.
Mrs. R. S. Trulock, of Ell Reno left
that place Monday for Albuquerque, N.
NJ, to visit Mr.. J. w. Adams and fami-
ly.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-03-12
The Ears of Japanese.

The Japanese have no ear lobes.
This discovery has apparently been
made for the first time by DR.. Won
Der Heyden, director of the public
hospital in Yokohama. Even if he was
not the first to discover it, he is GER
tainly the first to draw public attention
to it. The absence of the ear lob as
he claims, is in some respects the most
marked distinction between the Jap
anese and Europeans, anG he main
tains that the probable reason :, ny tbs
latter have lobes is because their an
| cestors for many generations wore
| heavy earrings.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-03-12
Bic Sand Contract.

Mr. T. n Clegg has taken a contract
to furnish the sand for two large
railroad bridges which are to be built,
one across the Arkansas and the other
across the White river, and has bought
a sand pump with which he is going
10 load and dig the sand. 1t is said
to be placed on boat and raise the
sand from the bottom of the river and
i'll this way get better quality of sand
The machine raises about eighty per
cent. water and about twenty per cent
sand, and it is said that rock or coal
can be pumped through this machine.
1t has arrived and will be put into
operation as soCn as the pump can be
assembled.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-03-12
A STEH.H-E tT r.! = ELkS
Was HisfroWiy A.vcftca at LAST Nights
Peri ornalnce.

\ stanpe - 49, .lt4rfo~i. avc:tea
at the ElHs theatai last night, By
a small acciten, With the lighting ma
chino Wi.ca vas paced in the balcony
by the Hoyt C0Eeiy company pee
pie. The man operating tie machine
caused tie fH:e D1 the machine to
burn out and this. together with the
burning OF the lnsnlation on the wires,
caused a great deal OF smoke. The
house had been darkeHed in order to
show the pictures and when the flashes
from the wires came il showed a great
people greatly. Women and some men
left the building. and had some one
screamed. Fire" there would have
been no way to have checked stamp
pede If this had occurred there would
probably have been many killed and
wounded
One man is reported to have Jumped
from the balcony to the box below.
The house was crowded and the largest
audience CT TIE season was present.
All seats ~ere scia and many got
standing room only. The boxes were
al filled and She people present seem
Il to be We'll pleased. The Hoyt
company seem TO have had the bes1
show and pleased the people, but
Peck's Bad Boy" fell short of expec-
tations.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-03-12

w. II. Wainwright, of Millville, was
here yesterday on business.
Mr.. w. 3. Sorrells was called tt
Helena by telegraph yesterday to en-
gage as counsel in a murder case.
II. E. Campbell charged with forg
cry. made a bond of $500 and was
released by Sheriff Gould.
Marriage license was issued to
Gland Clegg, age twenty-six. and MISS
Pearl Reeves, age twenty-five.
W. Il. Tankersley is able to be at
his place of business after several
days absence on account of sickness.
Call on Hicks fee and Coal COM
pany for all kinds of coal. Prompt ser
vice. Old phone 92; new phone 1913.
Now is the time to get that suit
cheap. Any $25 suit in the house at
SIS. Now that is a bargain, don't you
think?
Why pay $l25 for madras shirt
when you can get it at the J. B. Simon
company's bankrupt store for 10
cents?
Mrs. Louis Erb, on Tuesday got
a splinter of a bone, from a piece of
steak, lodge in her throat and has
been suffering from it intensely since
In the bankrupt sale of the J. B.
Simon companys stock the celebrated
Hawes hat is being sold for 81. This
is So guaranteed hat and is one of
the best made
Want to rent-A suburban res
idence, convenient to street car line.
Muct be in good neighborhood. Ad
dress Il, care of Graphic, stating To-
cation and price. It will be treated
confidential.
DR.. V. J. McComb and family have
arrived in Pine Bluff from Lebanon,
Mo, and will make their future home
here Dr. McComb is a dentist, and
comes to the city with reputation fer
skill in his profession. He has opened
offices at the corner of Fourth ave
nue. and Main.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-03-12
WOULD HAVE TO STAND IT.
Washington Official Had Not Much
REGARD for 30 Peonle

" washington O''S'rf ''dA wv NtOSIi
Regard for '.:e People.
"Uncle Joe" Canon was opposing
the plaza feature of the new union
station bill. Uncle Joe is against the
contemplated scheme for beautifying
Washington on general principles, and
he never misses an opportunity to
protest. 81 wore my old SLOUGH hat
one day." he said, "and went over to
the congressional library, where they
have the models of this great scheme
for beautifying Washington. The man
in charge sized me up right the first
time as a countryman from Illinois.
What's it all about?' l asked.
He told me in detail. How much
will it cost?' I asked again.
The cost is estimated at a thou
sand million dollars.
Great Scott | saio. Will the
people stand it?'
Sure, he replied. They've got to
stand it. "-Washington Correspond.
ence New York World.