Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-03-06

mis- coat-tails fall in an upward di-S
| rection- Ibis latter, however, is
merely an optical illusion. We have
seen a great many scholarly men
skin the cat with Prince Albert coats
on, and, while in each instance the
| coat-tails apparently arose in the air
like the tail of an arrogant peacock,
| such was in truth not the real fact
in the case.
But in this instance there was q
| wild attempt to execute the great
feat under circumsta that were
too adverse and discouraging. He
| started well, but when his feet had
| travelled their orbit about 90 degrees,
one of his hands suddenly lost conn
mand of the situation and slipped
| from the rope This threw his
| weight upon the other hand, which
| was more of responsibility than it
cared to cope with. and it also slipped
from the rope just at the instant
when he was studiously endeavoring
to hurl his body up over the top of
| his head.
For one brief moment he sat out
there upside down on the thin and
ing to find the back of his neck, and
with the back of his neck feverishly
| and. eagerly trying to find his feet.
For one brief instant, as he whirled
about up there in space, we caught
swift glance of his face and, fleet
ing though it was, we could see that
he seemed to be more or less worried
about something.
Suddenly he decided 70 oo,71o 5oxx-r,
and, without waiting for delay, he
rapidly began to close in the space
/ which yawned below him.
He headed his course straight for
an open-faced rocking-chair that hap
pened to be without a tenant at the
time, and in another instant he had
hurled himself into its jaws.
For a moment or two there was
grand struggle between the man and
the chair for the mastery of the
situation. They wrestled around
| over one entire end of the room in
what seemed to be life and death
struggle.
But suddenly the chair obtained the
advantage and in another instant it
had hurled him to the floor and
stepped on him. And thus his phys
lcal culture lesson ended for that day,
and he was picked up, feeling great
ly strengthened both in body and in
mind.
Physical culture in the home can
not be spoken of too highly or rec
commended too enthusiastically.
Whether it consists of standing up
and sticking your chest out into the
air like a statue of Prince Bismarck
| and making gestures like campaign
orator or a nervous elocutionist, or
whether it consists of bristling up to
a quarrelsome punching bag and eN-
| changing blows with it until you
finally get mad and GO after it with
a chair, physical culture is a great
| boon.
No home is complete this winter
without it. Do you feel peeyish and
nervous? Do you talk to yourself
and do you feel that you are going
| around in circle? Are you both
cred with dandruff or ringing in the
ears? Are you beginning to feel
] that your intellect is not on straight?
If so, you need a home course of
| physical culture. Get pair of
| three-ounce boxing gloves and ham
mer off the left ear Of your young
est daughter, and knock your moth
er-in-law's front teeth down her
| throat, and give your greatgrandfa-
! Their black eye and give your wife
a blow along the side of the neck that
will jar her hair loose. 1t will do you
| good. It will make you strong,
healthy and triumphantly happy
Happy is the man who can pound the
daylights out OF the members of his
| family every morning before break
| fast.
Homegrown physical culture is GO
ing to do wonders for this country.
1t is going to develop race of
strong and robust men with earless
| children and toothless mothers-in-
law, and mutilated grandparents who
will hobble down the corridors OF
| time looking like they had just grad
uated from an Indian uprising
Everybody should take up physical
culture. either the course where you
vault the piano and knock down the
hired man at a stipulated time each
| day, or the one where you take in
| structions in dancing the Sioux scalp
| dance and the fishers hornpipe and
other graceful and pleasing calls
| themes from a cut-rate mail order
| university. HARRY DANIEL
The New Rich.
The Snobsonly Woman's club pre-
| pared to vote on new members