davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
2acrIiHc TESHN.

4 Harlem mother who has twins and
IS peTforce obliged TO study the Pc
culiaritics CT the species atlirms that
never has she punished one Of them
they are both boys-lol I nisdaed bur
that the other committed the Identical
offense at the very first opportunity.
Moreover. If one asks Il question. es'
pecially in regard 10 an UNUSUAL nap
peninS, in the absence Of tic other his
brother almost invariably repeats tie
query and very frequently in the same
pLraSeolo@T.
Her twins are not bad boys, but
the mother says that she IS salts
fed os the fact that twins require rs
much attention and make IS much
noise as four ordinary chilt;ren.-NeH'
York Times.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
Riley,s Awful Blunders.

James Whitcomb Riley, the popular
author and poet, confesses to fond
ness for social life, but says he feels
at disadvantage at social gatherings,
that people are disappointed in him.
'I don't see we'll or remember names.
Therefore I'm an uneainly member or
society. I have been catching the next
train for so many years that l have
had but little time to devote to the So
cial side Of life and am in consequence
a confirmed novice in all the gentler
graces. Only few evenings since,
somewhere, pronounced don't You
with the 'ch' sound to it, and-well,
you must imagine, for I can't describe,
the overwhelming, suffocating sense OF
my humiliation when my attention
was drawn to it. And, horror on hor-
ror's head, the same evening was
detected in the act OF pronourcing pro-
gramme just as the word is spelled!'
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
Rise of a workhouse Naif.

Sir H NJ Stanley possesses the dis
tinction of. having commenced his ca
reer in workhouse, a fact which has
not prevented him from rising to dizzy
heights of fame. Of Welsh origin, the
great explorer cannot have ali pleasant
memories Of his native land, although
he can still speak the language. He
left the workhouse for butchers shop,
which he found little to his taste, and
ran away to America. In New Or
leans lie saw an announcement in the
shop of a Henry A1ortlake Stanley that
a boy was wanted. The lad obtained
the situation and remained With his
employer, who adopted him, until his
death. In this way he came by his
present name, having formerly borne
that of John RowlandS. He is a man
Of iron, easily discouraged, indeed, but
quick to regain courage, full Of dogged
will, which is his strength, and q spien-
did leader. Extremely aDstemious IN
all his habits, he has ever had q pas
sion for tea, and as for tobacco he him
self says. Il have always found it 8
solace and an aid to concentration"
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
nIa S&snt,S IH;.ttrIsc.

4, well known LoHdoncr was plan
Eng 81 entertainment on IN elaborate
s:ale 20 Dc given 10 various friends ID
tie D4ig:lGornoGd Of his country seat
Unfortunately his nearest neighbor,
c!o:c relative, IS highly uncongenial
to himself and his iHtimatcs. and lie
rIv!lc;l his brains TO devise q scheme
il; which ne might avoid the necessity
g Inviting The undesirable cousin to
be ;iGaoag lis guests.
=! have - Z: lie announced 10 his wife
at breakfast OF TIC morning Of the
cyen;. III send lin some tickets for
lie i:l;iy tonight il toT-n. OF course
he'll be delighted as he seldom has an
opportunity oG going TO the t!eater.
Ii!a tickets were accordingly sent,
and tie host wiz. &:l easy conscience
proceeded 10 enjoy the company OF his
friends. But lis satisfaction was OF
silGrr duration. Ut the height Of the
festivities in walked the Objectionable
ucig:!bor
"S;:ch. a stupid mistake you nladc;!"
lie announced as he approached his
cousin. rs soon as I heard about your
party knew: that you must have sent
ne lie tickets for the wrong niGht;;-so
/ got them changed Tor tomorrow even
ii; and came right over here as soor as
: coulI. ."-Iarper's Weekly.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
pni;cca,cn OF fEN ScIS.

Revenue cutters arc the policemen OF
the high seas. TlcE have regular Beats
to catrol along tho coast. looking 1of
vessels in distress. suppre>sInS snug
Cling, Illicit seal hunting aid muunlcs-
They also enforct: quarantine rcGula-
tons. examine slips papers. supply
lighthouses and act is life savers, an
balance corps. fire department and mes
senser boys generally for the govern
ment at sea.
The first revenue cutters were built
at the order Of Alexander Hamilton
when he was secretary Of the treasury,
and except in war time. when they are
subject to the authority Of the navy,
they are still under treasury depart
ment orders. Strange to say, however,
it is in times of peace that revenue cut
ters fight their hardest battles. They
save many lives and property that is cs-
timated at many millions yearly. Their
name gives little idea of the great ana
varied service they render the country.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
Pc Met His Match.

The Russian marshal Suvarof was
famous as i jester and was fond OF
confusing the men under his command
BY asking them unexpected and &p-
surd questions. But occasionally ne
met his match. Thus, one bitter Janu-
airy night, such as Russia only can pro-
duce. he rode up to a sentry ana de'
manded:
How many stars arc there in the
sky
The soldier. not q whit disturbed, an
sTercd coolly:
wait Il little. and III tell you And
he deliberately commenced counting,
"One, two, three" etc.
When he had reached 100, Suvarof,
who was half frozen. thought it high
time to ride of'. rot, however. without
inQuirinS the name OF the ready reck-
oncr. Next Gay tic latter found him
self promoted.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
Ee Xue, SIR waiter scott.

In a booklet called Sir Walter Scott
and His Country published in Edin-
burgl, the author quotes this reminls-
crncc from a.: old man he met who had
known the romancer:
"Are." lie minded Sir Waiter fine. x
seen him driving out in his carriage
and pair. WI Tom PurGie on the box
scat. Eie had Gil Il shepherds tartan
si2iG and !; g.en@a!1y cap wi tWa
black ribbons hanging doom the BACK.
mind his doWg tae-Maida, he cad it
--arGl an ;twIr' work he made over the
beast. But lie Ti;,s as pleasant Z man
as You could sneak &c, though be wasna
thought ,nucll!c o. as 1 Dleader when
they made him shirra G seikirk. Is it
his bril:s you're speiring on? Gu, aye,
yell find q liz: htli!.s ben the hoose.'
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
so,v East 9 Horses Feet aove.

Did you ever think. says 4 horseman,
how fast q horse in 4 2::20 gait moves
his feet? When q horse is trctting
2o::22O gait his feet move . little faster
than q mile in ITO. rs his body IS
moving at 2:20 and as each of his feet
wllcr in contact with tie ground is
stationary and then is picked Up and
moved forward to take the next step
the foot must move as much faster
than the body as to make the step,
which is over twice as fast. Now. the
action is: The foot is at rest upon the
ground and is raised some one OF two
feet high. then forced forward nearly
the full length Of the leg, then lowered
to the ground and is at rest for nearly
two-thirds Of tic time that the next
step is being taken. The time, nearly
two-thirGS. think, is too long, but it is
from one-half to two-thirds of the next
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
HAPPY" HITS.

Don't open a set Of account books
when you do kindness for anybody.
Advantages always look larger than
disadvantages, even when the scales
are balanced.
Don't marry money. You can spend
the money, but you can't spend the
trouble you may get with it.
Somehow when a brother and sister
quarrel it comes nearer 10 what man
and wife say than any other thing.
Occasionally ycu know a man you
can't help admiring. but who is-such a
fool that sou want to beat him to
death.
Somehow a scrambled egg reminds
US Of failure. The cook didn't get the
egg out whole, so she scrambled 1t.
Some people make scrambled eggs Of
half they do.
When mans folks are away and
he goes to a restaurant to cat it seems
pretty tough to pay So cents for meal.
At home he doesn't realize that he IS
paying anything.-Atchiscn Globe.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11

T:-;,cn Vaughan Washed Windows.
Sir FRANCIS Burnand was ct one time
with the OblateS Of st. Charles at
3ayswater when Manning was supc-
Tior ard Vaughan was novice master.
I'oi. q Jest which had made his fellow
noviccs laugh at a solemn n.oment Fa-
tier Vaughan. as ne then was, con-
deuned Sir Francis to clean case
ment window and volunteered TO show
him how to do it. TlereIpon he step
rcd out to the liberal window sill, his
eassock GuttcrinS il the friendly wind.
which. moreover. shut the window. The
nasp Was then turned. and, the dinner
bell ringing. the refractory novice went
down 10 the refecto-y. II mid Eeal the
superior became aware of little
crowd in the roadway gazing upward.
what was the vision: y brief inyesti.
CATION resulted in the release Of Father
Vaughan and also of the novice: You
a prieSt!.' exclaimed the superior. Go
and make boots. You still commit to
me lie care Of solcs,' was the parting
sally Of the future editor Of Punch
Iordcn Chronicle.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
4 SETc Thing.

x said SHAT nothing is sure except
da,th and .axer. but that is rot alto
reihcr true. Dr.. Kings New Discovery
fo,. consumption is . sure cure for all
1I,,o and throat troubles. Thousands
can testify to that. Mrs. c. B. EanMe-
ire of Shenherdtown. ". Va, says II
had q severe case of bronchitis and for
= year tried everything | heard OF. but
90, >0 relief. One bottle OF DR.. King, 5
New Discovery then cured me absolute.
w: It's infallible for Group: Nhoop-
inr Cough. Grip. Pneumonia and Con-
sumption. Try it. It's guaranteed by
The r. B. Loryea Drug Store. Trial
bottles free Regular sizes SOC and
slice
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
DOCTORS BLUNDERS.

yy-:iat l.c:S"l Methods applied TO Mcc-
i.:l Practice vEsuld Uncover.
Now that ! am through with medi-
cina can sDcai; CT tie profession in
fashion tl.at woald rot if l was still
in The practice" said 4 gentleman who
has been known as Il successful phys!-
clan il New York for years as he sat
at luncheon in the Lawyers club.
"Of course | don't care to have my
name mentioned, for have lots Of good
friends il the profession, but the fact
is that the profession Of medicine would
be nearly ruined il it had to be con-
Quoted as you gentlemen Of the bar
practice your calling.
I'VE have great advantage over
ynu. for you in your cases are subject
ed to the EXTREMIST publicity, while we
in our cases have the utmost conceal
ment Just suppose that in our cases
we had 4 judge who knew as much as
or mere than we did presiding over our
actions and. worse than that, had an
other physician. whose interests We're
not ours, watching and criticiSinS us
at every step and blaZoning every er-
ror that We made. Dear me, such q
prospect as that would frighten the
best physician who ever lived the mo-
ment he entered sick room, and yet
that condition is just what you men
Of the law have to face in every case
that you Try.
what sort of a figure would law
ger cut foundering around in court
without any knowledge Of his case?
But q physician can founder mentally
in !: sick room without a second person
Being the wiser, though the patient
may suffer; but, then, dead men tell
no tales
Under such circumstances Of doubt.
which IS usually ignorance, the physi-
clan can look wise, put something into
the patients stomach, go to his Office,
decide what line Of experiment he vii!
follow. return the next day, hoping to
find that nature is working the cure
that he doesn't know how to effect, and
being ready and willing to take all of
the credit that comes his way.
'W-hy, the very first thing that nurses
are taught is to observe the utmost Sc
crecy about doctors blunders. If they
told what they know there wouldn't be
much confidence in physicians where
they are heard. Ask nurse Of expe-
rience about this when you have the
opportunity.
Yes, sir, repeat that the publicity
and chance for criticism in your pro-
fession, if applied to medicine, would
result in the discovery Of small
amount of science as compared with
the large amount Of empiricism."-New
York Herald
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
A Famous Eei3.

One Of The biggest bells III the world
is in Cologne cathedral and is known
as The "CIoricSa." II was cast from
twenty-five French cannon captured IL
the Franco prussian war and was pre-
sented to tie cathedral BY the kaiser
It bears the German arms and TWO IN
scriptions. One, in Latin, expresses the
emperor's gratitude for the divine mer-
cy in granting him victory. The other'
in German, declares: Il am the emper-
or's bell, and I proclaim his glory l
fill q sacred post, and I pray heaven tc
grant peace and prosperity TO the Ger
man empire
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
rac Revolution IN q Nutshell.

The following contribution to historic
literature on tire American Revolution
was made By a little lady to short Sto-
ry competition in a Philadelphia news
paper. The writer. 4 schoolgirl OF ten
years, epitomiZes the whole Valley
Forge experience IN tie following terse
sentences:
There was Revolutionary war. Ihe
British rcvoiutioned Philadelphia. So
Nj. Washington took q lot Of soldiers
10 Valley Forge. MI. Washington
hadcnt eny thing for the soldiers to
eat, so they had to 60 barefoot. Mr..
Washington felt very bad, so be asked
Benjamin Franklin. Benjamin FRANK
lin felt bad to, so hc asked the king OF
France. The king Of France sent lot
Of soldiers, so we licked the British
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11

TaGiioni RS Nra. Carlyle S:>s: E!er.
In tie New Letters and Memorials
Of -,ne Welsh CARLYLE" is the following
quaint and carsric comment on Ia
glioEi:
L saw 4 very curious sight the other
night. the only one I have been TO foi.
a long timc-viZ. some thousands cf
the granGcst ana most cultivated peo-
pie in England all gazing in ecstasy
and applauting 10 death over I woman,
rot even pretty, balancing herself Oh
the extreme point Of one great Toe anG
stretching the other foot high into the
air, much higher than dec2nry ever
dreamt OF. 1t was Tagliomi. cur chief
dancer 1T the opera. and this IS ncr
chief feat repeated over ard over tc
veariness--at least 10 my WcarIEeSs.
But duchesses were iiinging bouquets
at her feet. and not man, except Car
lyle. who did not seem disposed to
fling himself. ccunicd twenty-five
bouquets. But what Of That: The
empress CT ali the Russias cnce III 4
fit Of enthusiasm flung her diamond
bracelet at the feet OF This same Tag
Eoni.-"virtuc its own reward On this
world: Dancing is and singing anc
some other things still more frivolous
But for virtue: It may lie strongly
doubted. as Edinburgh people say T."
everything one tells them.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
A Good Nane.

From personal experience ] testify
that DeWitt's Little early isisers are
urequaled as q liver pill. They arc
rightly named because they give
strength and energy and do their work
with ease.--W. I. Iaston. Boone. Tex.
Thousands of people use these tiny lit
tie pills in preference to all others. be-
cause they are so pIeasantand elfectuaI.
They cure biliouSness. torpid liver.
jaundice, sick headache, constipation.
etc. They 90 not purge and weaken.
but cleanse and strengthen. Sold by
The r. B. Loryea Drug Store.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
FRUITS AND FLOWERS.
II never INJURIES an orchard to ma

Il never Injuries an orchard to ma
nIre it.
JudicioUs annual pruning is essentla!
With the peach.
Low headed trees resist the wind
better. and The fruit is more easily
picked.
Ii grating large tree it is best rot
10 Try 70 graft the whole tree in o2e
season
Budding cn certain slow growing anc
somewhat homogeneous stock is the
BEST way OF dwarfEg.
II most cases the cause CT moss aD-
peariGs on the stems OF apple and oTi:-
cr fruit trees is wet, ccid. undraine0
land
The soil for roses should lie ricl! and
Of suci tcnacity that it will hold to-
gcSher when pressed. Sand and clay
mixed is good.
III wood that is more than two years
Cd shoiild be cut out from the c:iTrants
and gooseberries IIcy will produce
more fruit, even it the vines are not so
LARGE
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
WocrGs cS the Heart

II WOUNDS OF the heart itself the es-
cape Of blood IS never in large quan-
tity. and the lethal consequences are
due 20 the fact that the escape Of blood
from within lis cavity or cavities into
the slrrounGin. sac of The pericar(ium
mechanically Interrupts the alternate
contraction an,; expansion by which
it's pumping action is maintained. Ac-
cordinSly the results OF the wound OF
the heart are usually identical with
these Of gradual SGifocation.-
can Medicine
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
4 Scientific UiSccHaty.

kcdol Dyspepsia. Cure does for the
stomach that which il IS unable 70 &c
for itself, even when but Sli@ht!y diS0T-
dercd or even overloaded. t>o(ioi Dys-
persia Cure supplies the natural juices
Of digestion ami does tie work OF the
stomach. relaxing the nervous tension.
while the intiamed muscles OF that or
ran are allowe: 10 rest and heal. Nolol
Dyspepsia Cure digests what yo.> eav
and enables the stomach and digestive
organs to transform all food into rciii
red blood. Sold by The r. B. Loryea
Drug Store.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
S&n!1 EefcSc Eanc.

Why don't you try to write your
name on the scroll Of fame:"
MY friend said Senator Sorghum
very earnestly. = have never yet seen
anybody tearing leaflets out Of the
s.:rcl: OF fame and getting them cashed
~ the Eank."-philadclph Inquirer.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
Made YolIg Again.

':One Of DR.. Kings New Life Pills
each night for two weeks has put me in
nv teens again." writes D. II. Turner
of Dempseytown, Pa. They're the best
in the world for Liver, Stomach and
Bowels. Purely vegetable. Never
grippe Only 25c at The r. B. Loryea
Drug Store.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
IN Economical Notncr,

Snail Katherine, who had been for
hidden to touch the ink bottle. had &C.
cidcntally splice; its contents not only
al! over her mothers desk, but on the
rug. several chairs and her own apron.
Her mother, on discovering the state of
affairs. had expressed more surprise
than pleasure When tle father OF the
family returned at ..::.";!t his little
daughter met him al tic door and
asked:
Papa, how much does g bottle Of ink
cost
ooh, about 5 cents
give cents." exclaimed the agGrieyea
youngstcr in tone Of deep disgust.
':-ind to think that mamma would
make ell that fuss about one little bot
tie Of inll."
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
IA ttHlGtcCr.

.soung 8ritic--I'm 50 nervous. I'm
actually shaking.
..Eatrinorial Eetecal-Iouu get over
il. dear Why, When / first began get
ting married I thought should never
stop having altar fright.--Baltimore
American.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
E;S &.LnoC.S,

He-.ina so your answer is final. lor
will not he mine:
slc-Ncvcr: But pray dont 20 a'la
tlo". Your brains ont.
Hc--ir wor,ld be an idle attempt. Heo-
pie say il I had any brains l never
should have proposed to YOU.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11

When ran meets his wife in 4 rail-
road staiici he never knows whether
[c kiss hcr hafofe all The people o. to
pretend thac he IS just a friend OF she
lllilE.-Ne7g Ecrk Press.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11
Broken Language.

Little Bobby-Say, pep:
i'athcr-N-elI, we'll, what IS It no"
Little Bc,,by-If Il Chin&maH SPEAKS
broken EugIis!. would White nan; nan;
speak broken china: (E1it BoopyssoII
bed Times. :.
The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1903-11-11

\ person who cannot argue is Ike a
nerson who cannot chew. He swallows
the facts Of lie unprepared for elSes'
tion.-PhiladelpEia Press.
Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1903-07-07

arrested some forty-two farmers, whom
he charged with being the agents OF
the burning and killing along the boun-
dairy of the two states. When Lane
took command the military headquar-
tiers of the district were at Leaven-
worth, but he had them removed to
his home in Lawrence, to which point
the farmers were taken They were
tried before a drumhead court martial,
convicted, sentenced to death, taken
to their graves and shot into them.
OF course, some of the men thus shot
were guilty and others were not, but
it all went in time Of war.
AS matter of course, the Missouri
ians took the matter very hard and re-
solved to get even on the first oppor-
tunity. Waiting until the summer of
1863, when congress was not in ses--
sion and they knew that Lane was at
home, Quantrell and his famous band
of Missouri guerrillas, many of them
relatives of the men who Lane had
caused to be shot, swooped down on
Lawrence, killed 105 of is inhabitants
Everybody, in fact, who had taken a
hand in the execution of the forty-twc
Missourians), plundered the stores and
houses of everything they needed, anu
burned the town to the ground. That
is what brought about the sack of Law
renee.
Lane was killed in the massacre,
but Fisher, a Methodist preacher, and
Lanes closest friend and admirer, es-
capped in manner little short of
miraculous"