The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-05-24
THE HOUSE ON HAWAII WHERE MARK TWAIN LIVED IN 1868

home Then he wandered all over the
east, holding jobs in various capaci-
ties in newspaper Offices. He even
learned the mysteries of steamboat
plotting on the Mississippi. The Civil
war found him fighting as Confeder-
ate soldier. After the war he was in
the then new Territory of Nevada.
He began doing editorial work for
newspapers. His pen is said to have
been sarcastic and even vicious. This
led to a proposition for a duel with an
enemy and the law took Twain in
hand and sent him over the border. He
found a berth in San Francisco as city
editor of the Morning CALI. In two
years he joined a mining venture. He
/ lost his money and three months later
was in San Francisco penniless. He
began to write letters for Sacra-
mento paper and even came to Ha-
waii in its interest.
While here during 1868 he was
guest at Charles Spencer'S old time
cottage at WaiohiEu, Kau, Hawaii. He
learned a few kanaka words and his
droll use of them caused any amount
of fun for the natives. When he left
the islands he held them up to the
ridicule of the world. He described
the king as a royal majesty having
a New York detectives income of thir-
ty or thirty-five thousand dollars
year from the royal civil list and
the royal domain land as living in
a two-story frame place"
Continuing he said:
"And there is the royal family
the customary hive of royal brothers,
sisters, cousins and other noble drones
and Migrants usual to monarchy-all
with a spoon in the national pap dish
and all bearing such titles as his or
her Royal Highness the Prince or
Princess So-and-So. Few of them can
carry their royal splendors far enough
to ride in carriages, however, they
sport the economical Kanaka horse or
'hoOf it with the plebeians.
'Then there is his Excellency the
Royal Chamberlain (Kalakaua)-a
sinecure for His Majesty dresses him
he is ruralizing at Waikiki and then
he requires no dressing.
Next We have his Excellency the
Commander-in-Chief of the Household
Troops, whose forces consist of about
the number of soldiers usually placed
under a corporal in other lands.
Next comes the royal Steward and
the Grand Equerry in Waiting-high
dignitaries with modest salaries and
little to do.
Then we have his Excellency the
First Gentleman of the Bed-Chamber
-an office as easy as it is magnifi-
cent.
Next we come to his Excellency
the Prime Minister, a renegade Amer
lean from New Hampshire, all jaw,
vanity. bombast and ignorance, a law
yer of shyster caliber, a fraud by ma
ture. humble worshipper of the scep-
! ter above him, a reptile never tired Of
Steering at the land of his birth or
clarifying the ten-acre kingdom that
has adopted him-salary $4,000 year,
vast consequence and no perQuisites.
Then we have his Excellency the
Minister of Finance, who handles a
million dollars of public money year,
sends in his annual budget with great
ceremony, talks prodigiously of
finance suggests imposing schemes
for paying off the national debt tof
s150,000) and does it all for $4,000 a
year and unimaginable glory.
"And next comes his Grace the Lord
Bishop of Honolulu. the chief dignitary
of the Established Church'-for when
the American Presbyterian missionar-
les had completed the reduction of
the nation to a compact condition of
Christianity native ROYALTY stepped in