New-York tribune., 1903-07-22
A little bird sat on a telegraph wire
AND said to his mates, II declare,
II wireless telegraphy comes into vogue,
Wen all have to sit on the air.
-0LOndOn FISHING "a

-(Lonoon FISHING Gazette
When Judge Samuel Davis was practising at the
Marshall bar. Jim Hazel. thrifty farmer came
TO him, according to a Missouri paper to COM
plain of a certain speckled cow that was efviro,
him much trouble. Hazel brought vegetables to
town This COW was always loose. and she seemed
to think dinner time had arrived when he drove in
She followed his wagon from place to place and
every time he left it to make a sale the cow had
her nose in it. what would you do with that
cow, Colonel DavtS?' asked Hazel, after stating
his case. I'D shoot her." the lawyer replied 'cI
know that COW, and I'd shoot her" Hazel was
not entirely satisfied in his own mind so he went
to Samuel Boyd, another lawyer and told him the
advice he had been given by Davis ''You chumpl
If you shot that cow they'd send you to the pen
Boyd told him. Hazel went back to Davis and re-
peated what Boyd had said. Bring In your gun
next Saturday" Davis replied. "-nd kill the cow
and If anybody is sent to the pen. I'll CO." But
colonel" Hazel insisted, ''he read me lot from
books. and said it would be a penitentiary offence
Read fddlesticks" answered the future jurist
hes dead wrong, tell you. I know you wouldn't
get sent up because that old specked cows mine
HERE AND THERE-A NEW TI-'sKEETER.
c meod Of killing osq Is by 0PSdHa1g Ssn
cal note the vibration Of which will instantly
For ages have the sages turned the pages of their
To find way to kill the gay mosquito.
But up to date, we hate to state. our fate is made
lnSeCtOrlal
Of kerosene and gasolene: we've seen 'steen ap-
plicattOnS.
But always with the same dissatisfaction
But now we bow. kow-tow and 'How!-for swift
Are promised through musical attraction.
The way. they say. the bug to-day will be a corpse
Is briefly this: A tone just yibratory
Enough to cum the vital stuff from out this bird of
Is struck MOSQUITOES soul gets migratory
It's very nice, If in trice to Paradise we send
If by one note we make this bug abuse sick.
But here's our fear; we persevere. but how we
If each one wants different brand of music?
One vag wants rag-two lag and flag slow and
Another one prefers the stately Iancers:
Suppose one blows on what he knows about some
Another one wants strains that thrill the dancers,
With vim hymn one cranky limb demands-one
wants cakewalk:
Another wants some old. sweet. dreamy story:
You play day-nay. play for aye-but you will
never make walk
In harmony this buzzing crowd to glory!
And yet you bet, get fret of warm anticipa-
Whenever anything suggests solution.
Or teens or seems to teem. with schemes that may
Fen though It end hopeless contribution;
And so we go, sedate and slow into each glowing
That heralds some new anti-'skeet invention.
ana subtle Myh Rtufe n1 10 nope to ind some kind OF
Of music, why, this thing is worth mention
Max o'ReH used to tell story about his frst ex
perience with Chicago newspaper reporter The
genial Frenchman had Just arrived at the Grand
Pacific Hotel and had retired 10 his room TO rest
after fatguing journey. In order TO get the most
possible out Of the short sesta he took off his
clothes and got into bed. The day was hot one
and for better circulation of air he left the door
slightly ajar placing chair against Il for security
Shortly afterward he awakened from his nan
by a knock at his door. and he drowsily INQUIRED
who was there.
Mr.. Blank. OF The Daily so-and-so.' replied
the reporter.
Il cannot be disturbed now. called O'RelL You
will have to come again. 1 cannot see you now
am in bed
notwithstanding this injunction the humorist saw
the door pushed Open the chair fell over on the
floor. and the reporter entered the room threw his
hat the table. sighed and helped himself 10
chair.
well. we'll well!' exclaimed the now angry
Frenchman This is unprecedented. What win
you have. sir? WhatH you have?'
Thank you" replied the reporter tanning him
self I'm take gin hzz'
Hat salesmsn-so you invaded France with your
line? Row did yoH make out?
bicycie Salesman--Nery poor. Every time l hand
ed any my card he thought wanted 10 fight
dUel-(Chicago News