News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1903-01-07

ger lie opened the sack anu out Oh IL
emptied into the lions cage huge
snappins turtle. The lion walked up to
it, stuck ais nose down and deliberate
ly proceeded to smell the 'warmbur-
ger alias the turtle. The latter grab
bed the king of beasts by the nose and
held on like grim death. The lion tried
to tear it off with his claws, but could
not and finally began whining piteous-
ly. Take it OFF, yelled the lions keep
er. The money is yours. You take
him OFF, nonchalantly replied the tri-
umphant Kentuckian. You smell a
'WarmburgeI' to test his genuineness.
Try the same method on any young
man you suspect of drinking"
A Darky In Court.
Sitting under the shade of the trees
between two sessions of the Chautau-
qua, some one read from paper how
Mrs. Kennedy, on trial for murder at
Kansas City, threw herself upon the
mercy of the court. Colonel Balm said:
"That reminds me of an old cOlOred
brother down in Kentucky who was
harnessed up before a justice of the
peace for some misdemeanOr. The JUS
tice, who knew him well, said, Pom
pey, have you any lawyer? No, sab,
replied Pompey. III jist throw my
self on de ignance oh dis heah cote"
Pat and the Judge.
In his lecture he said: can Irishman
rushed into the office of a justice of the
,I.,i IN, aVoitn-
ment: Yer honor, there's a man out
there says he's going to kill me! lie
showed me the pistol with which he
intends to do it! Please have him ar
restedr No use to do that, Pat. If
he kills you, We will have him hanged.
oh, judge responded Pat, and if it
phases yer honor, couldn't you have
him hanged before he kills me, so l
can attend the hanging|
How an Orator Was Made.
"Poeta nascitur, non fit" C'The poet
is born, not made''), is the old saying.
The same remark is largely true Of or
ators, but a man may possess the or
atorical gift and not know it. For
many years that was the case with
Colonel Balm. The chances are that, II
the meeting had never been held in
Boston to denOunce the Slayers of Love
joy, Wendell Phillips might never have
discovered his great power as an or
ator. Likewise if a great temperance
wave had not swept over the blue
grass region of Kentucky about a quar-
ter of a century ago Colonel BAN
might and probably would have gone
on to his dying day unconscious of the
fact that he belongs to the tribe OF
silver tongued orators.
Colonel William G. P. Breckenridge,
himself a renowned practitioner of the
art of Demosthenes and Cicero, once
told me in the house Of representatives
at Washington how Balm got to lee
turing. George w. Balm was brave
young Confederate soldier" said the
colonel. when the war closed, he set
tied at Lexington and was engaged in
the mercantile business. a temper
ance agitation was started. One night
Balm was called on for some remarks
and did so we'll that he surprised him
| self and all who heard him. The pa
| pers complmented him. He began to
| receive invitations to speak at school
| houses in Fayette county. His speeches
| constantly and rapidly grew better At
! first he received no compensation-not
| even expenses. Then he received eX-
| pense mOney: then So and expenses.
| The temperance agitation spread
| Bain's fame grew, and his compensa-
ton increased until he is one of the
best paid and most famous platform
| orators in America"
| An Honest Man.
Is moral character a factor in elO-
| quence? Is honesty a valuable asset
| for an orator? Let Colonel Bains his
| tory answer. He was a merchant, a
| partner in a mercantile house. 1t fail
| ed for thousands of dollars, through no
| fault of his. He did not sit down and
| repine He did not dodge. He took
the platform and for IS long, weari-
some years he went up and down the
land delighting multitudes with his wit.
humor, pathos, eloquence and homely
| philosophy, earning the whereWithal to
pay those old partnership debts. When
| that was done, he called the eX-credit-
ors together and gave them banquet.
| Only think of that unequaled perform
ance! AIS we'll that ends well"
A Terse Epigram.
In lecture at the Springdale Chau-
tauqua DR.. Lowe of Chicago university
delivered himself of this epigram,
which the audience received with up
roarious delight: "A billion dollar steel
trust or any other trust that may be
trusted to steal"
The finest epigram uttered in Ameri-
ca recently was by Walter Williams,
editor Of the Columbia (Io.) Herald
In addressing his Sunday school class,
the largest in the state, he said, Fame
has taken men from the forge, the pillow
and the carpenters bench, but she was
never known to reach over a picket
fence and snatch dude out of ham,
mockr' That's worthy of Pope, Roche
foucauld or Thomas Bracket Reed.
1t takes me back to Colonel Balm
again. In his lecture on boys and girls
he tackled the dude and spoke of him
| UIiftinu bic hat IN show his Henry