The sun., 1903-03-22
wBAT,LOBsrERWIT CLAWS
smadams Of New York Discover . Peco'
lisrfty Of the Pacinc.

| 0mM02ml8 0I NOW htoCSNSs~ 49,
iiarity Of the Pacinc.
Smadams has always prided himself on
his Judgment OF Holsters. Boiled. broiled
baked, roasted or picked. Smadams has
! hattered himself that he knew more about
! the lobster than any person OF his acquaint-
ance. One Of the familiar sights OF a we'll
| known Broadway lobster house Is Smadams,
| a lobster in front OF him In the process oil
consumption and another one on the grill
in course OF preparation. Smadams's 9
knowledge Of the lobster is the result OF
years OF study OF its fine points.
Smadams went to San Francisco a short
time ago and naturally found himself after
the theatre one night in situation where
lobster before going to bed was the one
thing essential TO complete comfort. 30
he went to the best looking restaurant he
could find and ordered broiled lobster
1t was finally brought to him, big and red
and hot by a waiter who laid IL down and
remarked that there wasn't finer lobster
than that to be had on the Pacific Coast.
Smadams agreed that it had the look OF
very able lobster. but remarked sarcastically
that il would be just as we'll to take 1t back
and bring another one with claws.
The waiter looked at Smadams doubt
fully, then turned the lobster over with a
fork pointed at it's legs and said:
'Is them what you mean?'
do you call those claws?' demanded
Smadams.
"They's all he has, said the waiter.
The head waiter was summoned by the
indignant Smadams, who said:
@This waiter has brought me a lobster
without any claws. He might Just az well
bring me the shell alone, as to leave the
claws behind either want the claws Of
this lobster at once, or l want a fresh lobster
which hasn't had a surgical operation per-
formed on him.
The head waiter solemnly turned the
lobster over with fork and pointed at the
legs, saying:
is that what you mean by claws, sir?'
Smadams swallowed his rage and said:
sThat is a leg. l don care for lobster s
legs. I want a claw, a lobster's claw, a
claw with meat in it, the best meat that the
lobster grows
I'm sorry. sir, said the puzzled waiter.
sbut don't know what you mean
Smadams exploded to the intense amuse-
ment of a number OF other people In the
restaurant. A man behind him laughed
80 loud that Smadams turned to him in his
rage and asked what he saw 30 funny in
the situation.
Pardon me- said the man, .but I've
been eating Holsters here for years and I'm
sure don't know what you want myself
to say you throw away lobster's claws.
the best part Of the lobster?'
-Clawsl clawsl' mused the man; Unless
you mean the legs
But I don't mean the legs roared
legs? Say. II you don't know what claws
are, let me show you,' and Smadams forth
with proceeded to work his finger and
thumb up and down, at the same time
repeating: -Pinchl Nip! Hurt!'
The headwaiter, the table waiter and
the man at the table behind looked blankly
at one another, and Smadams would have
been removed as a harmless lunatic In
another moment, but for the intercession
OF little Irish waiter, who had just come
in from the kitchen and heard the tail end
OF the discussion.
Il beg pardon, sor,' to Smadams, .but
be yer askin' fer the claws Of that there
bird?'
heard Of lobster without claws?r
You come fom New York, eh?' asked
the little Irishman.
Il do said Smadams. swelling up
well. sor,' said the waiter. .out here
the lobster's bent Holsters at all. They
he simple overgrown crawfish, and they
amt got no claws
A little quest ioning revealed the fact that
the Pacific Coast lobster doesn't grow claws,
and that the Pacific Coast isn't acquainted
with this delicacy. bit Of knowledge which
turned Smadamss indignation into com
miseration. Smadams ate his clawlees
lobster as fast az he could and got out OF
the restaurant. He tried not to hear the
litter that followed him, but II was too
distinct not TO be heard. However.
Smadams was compensated for his loss
Of dignity by the knowledge he had &C.
auired which was extremely valuable to .
man who was posing at home as an expert
in Holsters