The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-03-04
MRS. DOLBY,S TALKs.
The Deacon Looks Over the Family
Almanac and Says Nothing.

Deacon Dolby had pulled off his
boots. with a grunt of satisfaction as
each boot came off, and taken seat
in the big rocking chair and begun
to feel that there was no place like
home, when Mrs. Dolby suspended
her sewing for a moment to look up
and ask
Deacon Dolby what do you think
of q man fifty years old, and supposed
to be good man, who Will swear
The Deacon felt a chill go up his
back, and he picked up a family al
manac lying on the table and pre-
tended to be much interested in its
contents while wondering if he could
be the guilty man.
1T was last fall" continued Mrs
Dolby. and 1 only heard of it the
other day, but it's just the same as
if it happened this forenoon. You was
sitting on the fence by the barn when
tin peddler came along the road and
stopped to talk with you. don't
know what sort of a story he told you,
but all at once you started to laugh,
you threw up your arms and your teet
to haWi haWi and you went over back
wards into the barnyard- AS soon as
YOU found that your neck wasn't brok-
en- you got and used language 1t
was awful language. It was such
language that the widow Skinner sh1V-
cred as she heard it. and the tin ped
dler whipped up his horse and drove
on I want to know what you've got
to say about it2 Some wives would
/ have left the house without asking
question. but I'm willing to hear your
( excuses"
The Deacon didn't have any. He
remembered that October morning per
fectly well. The tin peddler had stop
med to tell him the latest joke, and 1t
was so funny that a ran oac4WdI u
/ had been the result. Just what ne
said after getting up was not so clear,
/ but he believed that he had done JUS
tice to the occasion. Mrs. Dolby wait
/ ed two minutes for his answer, out shs
waited in vain. There was an increase
of severity in her tones as she contln-
zone night four weeks ago you came
in from the barn all doubled up and
/ said YOU had collie. I thought it very
queer that anybody should have collie
in winter. but I gave you pepper sass
and other things and put you 10 pea
and you got over It. let It go at cone
and YOU never told me different, but J.
1 have the truth at last I just got it to-
day from Mr. Simpkins hired man.
4 Deacon Dolby. you deceived your wife!
! You went behind the COW and twisted
her tail to make her move up, and she
/ kicked you in the stomach with both
f feet to once. Why didn't you say so
/ when YOU came into the houseI l know
T why because. as you lay on the stable
floor, you yelled for the hired man 70
get the pitchfork and knock the COW 8
head off, and your language drove the
man out of the barn on the run"
{ Mrs. Dolby had slightly exaggerated
but the Deacon set his jaw as he re-
+ mem bered the occasion He also IN
4 dulged in grim smile as he recalled
little performance in. the stable next
day but he didn't think it best to enter
+ into any WOrdy explanations He SIM
/ ply increased his interest in the almanac
and tried to forget that he was not
alone
1T wasn't over two weeks ago" re-
sumed Mrs. Dolby, that you went over
to the sawmili to see about some luTn-
Der When you came home 1 spoke
about the way you was wearing your
hat but you didn't say nothing That
night I found a bump on your head as
big as a hens egg. No wonder you had
4 to cock your hat over on one ear. I've
waited and waited for you to explain
how you got that bump, but you haven't
/ done so. I know how 1t Was-heard all
about it yesterday, and I can tell you
+ that some wives wouldn't stand It q
minute When you went to the mill
YOU found a lot of folks skating on the
pond Old as you are, with your knees
! as stiff as gate-hinges, you borrowed a
pair of skates and went on the ice to
+ show off. You hadn't skated a rod be-
fore your feet went up and you struck
on your head. I amt saying that was
any crime. but there are over thirty
/ people who win make oath that after
YOU went down you swore like pirate
I and offered to lick any one there with a
hand tied behind you Deacon, are you
going to beg my pardon and promise
never to do so again2'
The deacon's hand instinctively went