Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1903-07-24
DRIFTWOOD.
Pieces Of Individual Opinion Washed Up by the
Tide. Doomed. Sawed. Split and Piled

DRIFTWooD.
Pieces Of Individual Opinion Washed Up by tn,
Tide. Doomed. Sawed. Split and Piled
BY LUE VERNON.
, The railway boys have no Sunday
rest. Every day is alike to them.
A man may say the world is mine
OYSTER" but be unable to swallow it.
What has become OF the old-fash
Toned copper-toed boots for little boys.
Give me the boy whose maxim is
al believe it, for my mother told me
So"
No, gentle reader, the star-fish are
not used on Puget Sound as lights fol
a city.
1 have noticed that the girl who
runs away to get married generally
walks home.
The eyes of beautiful woman are
more destructive than the rifle, to the
average man.
Half the world that eats, do not
know how the other half starve.
will also add, they do not care.
Giving advice to some people is like
catching baseball. A great number
only receive it on the tip end of their
fingers.
A difficult task awaits the mission.
airy who attempts to convince the
Russian Jews that Christianity is
The religion of love-"
Six per cent. of the people killed on
railroads are trespassers, people who
are walking on the track when they
have no business there.
This is a peculiar planet on which
we subsist. While the honey.bees
worship the rose, don't forget that
the chickens adore the sunfiower.
A man who can sit through an
amateur dramatic entertainment and
actually make people think he en-
ljoyed it, is = tirst-class actor himself.
A fashionable woman at Newport,
r. l., has discarded shoes and hose
and goes in her bare feet and legs.
OF course, to be in fashion, the other
women followed suit.
Praise is heard on all sides for the
gentleman who invented the flexible
backs for bibles, but not q murmur is
heard in praise for the fellow who in
vented the cOrk-screw.
We read in several exchanges that it
is wicked to fish on Sunday. l do not
think it is any more a sin to catch a
fish on Sunday then it is to catch a
chicken for preachers Sunday din
ner.
| Mosquitoes are to be exterminated
with music. The announcement, how
ever, fails to state the character of the
music, but the only kind we know OF
that will kill a mosquito is ground
out on a piano.
The biggest lie of 1903 was told
Monday when q man who has been
married nine years declared he had
never spoken a cross word to his wife,
and the neighbors say that they
frequently fight like cats and dogs.
The proprietor OF the Shelton Tri.
bune is tho owner OF An electric-light
plant at Shelton and is putting in
anotherl light-plant at Palouse City
and owns the Shelton Tribune. How
dare you speak of the poor editor
Don't do it.
President Roosevelt and Postmaster
General Payne have, between them,
managed to close most of the avenues
by which news has previously been
obtained regarding the postoffice in
yestigation, and comparatively little
news of Importance is now getting
into print.
But little, it appears, has been seen
OF Mrs. Governor Bailey, of Kansas,
since her marriage. The supposition
is that she is busy reading the 1900
proposals Of marriage sent to the Gov.
ernor. and cackling with exultation
over how she downed the whole bunch
without scratch of the pen.
Inside the worlds fair grounds at
st. Louis Buffalo man proposes to
build the largest hotel in the world.
1t is suggested that its success de.
ponds upon the number OF people who
fear they will get lost if they leave the
fair grounds seeking accommodations
in the wild and woolly parts OF ST.
Louis.
The man, or the thing that is in
form of man, who lives in Ballard,
that beat his poor horse numerically
then staked the animal between bee
hives, where the bees stung it almost
to death, should be given the same
treatment he gave his horse, because
the animal could not pull load.
While passing along a street Sun
day, we heard strange melody float.
ing on the air. 1t sounded like q
head.end collision between a steam
calliope and an asthmatic mouth
organ. We finally located the source
of this new brand OF music and found
that it emansted from what is called a
"Zitertype." 1t i. about ninety nine
degrees worse than the strident jangle
of an abused piano.
The Kansas girls are equal to any
emergency. Their fathers being I'm.
! able to obtain help to harvest the
wheat crop, the girls just home from
school, are going into the fields. Most
OF them appear in short skirts, but
some have donned overalls in order to
obtain the utmost freedom. When
the crops have been harvested those
girls will be able to get almost any.
thing they want for the mere asking,
and they deserve it, too.