davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
CALLER AT THE WAITE HOUSE.
1e Wanted to Have the Names Of All
the People Changed.


The first crank to maze his appear
ance at the White House since the 70.
turn of the President, says the Wash
ington Star, went to the executive Of
nee on Monday. One of the door
Keepers quickly came to the conclu-
sion that the man was muddy" in se-
cret service parlance, and turned him
over In an adroit manner to a secret
service officer. The officer soon found
the mans story. Il want to see the
president to have the names of peo-
pie changed" the man conf1dentially
Informed the secret service officer,
"and the president must issue an or
| der to do this at once. | came here
all the way from Chicago to see that
this thing is done properly. Just
look at the way people are named.
Here are men in the undertaking bust
ness bearing all kinds of names. Ev-
cry man in that business should be
named Coffin. Every man in the
wood business should be named Wood
All the grocers ought to be named
Butter or Lard or called by the name
of the goods sold in their stores. Here
are dry goods dealers bearing all
kinds Of good names, when they ought
to bear the names of Thread Buttons,
Cambria, Calico and other things. 1t
is a shame the way this thing is done
now. The wrong naming of people
leads to trouble and business con-
fusion and there is only one safe
thing-tnat is, to change the name.
You see that steam roller standing
there In the White House grounds.
Well, that roller ought to furnish the
name of the man that runs 1t. He
ought to be named Roller. The man
who is putting down these asphalt
pavements in the grounds ought to be
named Asphalt"
BY this time the crank had been
slowly escorted across the grounds by
the secret service man and had re-
ceived an intimation that the presi.
dent would prefer that he submit his
plans somewhere else at this time.
The man was not arrested
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
Jeffries As a Deer Hunter.

Jfffries and Fitzsimmons have
ended their deer hunting vacation
and the champion IS now hack at hard
wor at his training quarters at Har.
bin Springs. They were away three
days and Jeffries killed three deer,
while Fitzsimmons secured several
ground squirrels.
II t. teld an interesting story of one
ineihent of the trip. The mule carry
ing Jeff's baggage stepped into a hor-
nets nest, and was in fair way to
stampede to escape the insects when
Jim went to the rescue, For a few
minutes he had a lively time ducking
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
General SPORTING News.

Mike Ward of sarnia won the deci-
sion over Buddy Ryan of Chicago in a
ten-round bout at Port Huron, Mich.
A rumor is afioat in Paris that the
car used by Louis Renault in the
Paris Madrid race has been purchased
by an American for $4,000.
Danny Maher. the jockey, who was
injured in an automobile collision last
week and has been in the Caterham
hospital, is reported as being out of
danger
The wise ones say that Kid Mccoy
wants another resurrection day, and
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
What was it7

you forget he promised to preak your
little Tommy's neck If he came oop
those stairs again.
1--WE done the same meself manny's
the time said Mrs. Flaherty. TON
my's torment and trile even to
me. NE hearts broke wild him. AMI
the poor ould sinner is kaplng the
babe from goin to a home. I'd hate
to have one of me own so to a homn.
can tell you that, Mrs sehlitz."
Strange to say. the child lived and
fattened under the care of the old
man. Day times he rolled on the
dirty floor of Mrs. Flaherty's kitchen
with little Dan and NANCY dog that
belonged to the children. At night
he returned to The orc s9otess fucm,
where he cuddled aud cooed in tho
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
The Walking Delegate.

You wanted kid real sassy and mean
A pug-nosed rooster. not fat nor lean
But pudgy and short. with good, strong
lungs
And big wide mouth that could stretch
three rungs.
Now walk. consarn you. walk!
You wanted a kid bold little tot,
You wanted a kid that would get real hot
If you laid him down. You'd trot him
some
And pedal the floor till kingdom come.
Now walk, eonsarn you, walk!
A kid with the collie you thought was
bright.
He'd be like his dad. staying up all night,
Drinking from bottles and making things
hum,
Yelling like Sioux until morning come.
Now walk, eonsarn you, walk
You once sported round like an easy guy,
When you met the gang. you'd always
buy.
You'd take cab for a block or So
Now to the office you trod through snow.
Now walk, consarn you, walk
The kid needs all of your surplus dough,
You have straight beaten path to go,
When you meet the boys. Just pass them
by,
You're a daddy now, and can't fly high.
Now walk. consarn you. walk
Ohio State Journal.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
American Tennis Team.

It rs officially announced that the
committee representing the United
States National Lawn Tennis associa-
ton, Messrs. Dwight, Stevens, Presby,
and Little, had selected Messrs, w. A.
Larned, r. D. Wrenn, and G. l.
Wrenn, jr, as the team to represent
the United States in the national COM
petition for the Dwight F. Davis chal-
lenge trophy which is to occur on the
grounds of the Longwood Cricket club,
Boston.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
Yanner,s Hand Injured.

Benny Yanger has returned East
from San Francisco with something to
rem hmber of his rcert fight with Eddie
Han Ion. The report that Yanger IN
jured his hand In the fight is shown to
be correct. Yaneer has bad locking
right. An examination shows that a
bone is broken and that the wrist is
spra ined Yanger has also been trou-
bied for some time with lame back.
1t was fret noticed in his light with
kid" Broad at Louisville and was
wors Be when he met Hanlor, SO he
claims.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
Terrlhle Rlaku-

George Dewey, secretary of the Nj.
agara Fire Insurance company, tells
of an old woman who called on an
agent of the company down South to
arrange for insurance on their house
and furniture, We haven't had no
insurance for five years. she ex.
planned. I'VE hey ies' been dependin,
on the lord; but | says to my old
man, says. thet its terrible risky
| New York Times.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
A. G, Vanderbilt to Be a THURMAN.

Alfred G. Vanderbilt is to make an
other addition to his country place
known as Oakland Farm just out
of Newport, the announcement being
that the young millionaire is to have
a racing stable. Wilson, who for years
was in the employ of e. d. Jordan, Of
Boston, one of the best-known horse
men in the country, will have the man
agement Of the stable.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
The interstate Proaramne.

The Interstate Association will hold
a trap shooting for the Rainmakers'
Gun Club, at Ottawa. ILL.,. Aug. ~, 10.
The programme consists of ten events
each day, five at Is targets, 150 en-
trance. a total of It's shots, at cost
of $3.50. Purses will be divided per.
centage plan: Amateurs only share
in the purses.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Jacob Jung and Marie Mosser, aged
81 and 63 respectively. kissed each
other in Lincoln park, Chicago, re-
Gently, and were promptly arrested.
Poor young things! How can Chica.
go tolerate policemen with no tender
sentiments in their souls?
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

England complains that we have
seized some of her islands. But we
have not Il is merely an exchange
We gave her William Waldorf Aston,
and surely he is worth more than any
little bunch OF islands.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

DR.. stiles claims that in some cases
the 'laziness disease" has been fatal.
The only case just now recalled is
that of the man who was too tired
to get off the track when the train
came along
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Mrs. Payne. wife of the postmaster
general. expects to remain in Wash.
ington with her husband through the
greater part Of the summer. She
has been an invalid for many years
and still suffers great deal from
rheumatism.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Peace once more reigns In the edu-
cational world since the president of
the State university of yermilion, s.
D., has been exonerated from the
charge of drinking beer and smoking
cigars.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Prince Botijar of Paris calls the
Servian affair an "operetta. Well,
1t depends, Prince. II you had been
playing the star part doubtless II
would have seemed little nearer the
legitimate.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

The latest bulletin from Jim Cor.
belts camp proves conclusively that
when his new blow" has been tried
out. Jeffries win again be boiler
maker.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Mrs. Corbett has dreamed that her
husband will knock out Jeffries in the
thirteenth round. But If she wanted
to be convincing, why couldn't she
make 1t some other round?
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

President Butler of Columbia spent
the Sabbath with President Roosevelt.
and both remained away from church.
But let us put way the suspicion that
two presidents were out back of the
barn playing quoits.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

When the theosophist lady and gen.
tleman who stood up before their
friends the other day and said they
were married want to call it off they
will find 1t necessary to go through
a few additional formalties. The law
Is queer about some Of these things.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

1t IL hoped that the Fourth-of-July
victims have nearly all been accounted
for. The automobile accidents con.
tinue, however. to be reported In grad
ually increasing numbers.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

When an old-fashioned mother
wants to say in back-handed way
that her boy is good at school, she
says that he likes all his teachers
Atchison Globe.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
:, ,ouno coshett 10 Meet Sullivan.

"Young" Corbett is still making
mat ehes, his latest being with Tommy
Sullivan of Brooklyn. Articles OF
agre have been signed for ten
round bout to be decided before the
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

A New York corpora ion, of which
the stock is said to have been AL
water" has been declared bankrupt.
The company's floating debt did not
keep the directors in the swim.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

A Missouri editor was fined $500 for
contempt the other day because he
criticised decision OF the court.
When the citizens heard OF II they at
once subscribed the money that was
needed to pay his fine. Some courts
don't know when to let wei enough
alone.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Anthracite coal fields have been dis.
covered in Colorado equal in extent
to those of Pennsylvania. The Mis-
sissippi valley will now be between
two fires.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Prosperity-among the politicians
lis beyond question. The diamond
importation has increased SO per cent
during the last year.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

It is said that Indians have &C.
CURED the divorce habit. Perhaps the
real truth is that some of the squaws
have decided to strike.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

The peek-a-boo shirtwaist may
shock us. but it has one great advan-
tage, the dear girl who wears 1t at
tracts all the mosquitoes.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

People who can't get along without
borrowing trouble might save wear
and tear on their nerves by moving to
Paterson, N. j.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Any reasonable man will admit
that there are two sides to every
questionable side and the wrong
side.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

blocking and side-stepping TO escape
the attacks of the argry insects, but
he finally subdued the mule and saved
his outfit.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Mr.. Whistler is no more and the
gentle art of making enemies is rele
gated exclusively to our reformers in
politics.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

This is the open season for minis
ters In Bulgaria.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

What worries the sultan is not that
his treasury is empty. but that he has
reached the end of his ability to go
into debt.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

The remodeled White House con-
tains thirty-two miles of wire-and
several people to pull 1t.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Bulgaria should join hands with ia.
pan and divide the expenses of the
enthusiastic search for trouble
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

American warships in European wa.
tiers have been winning peace vic.
tories that are no less valuable than
those of war.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Minneapolis hospital offers to
treat man free. Huh; most any can
didate WIN do that.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

much these torrid days If the fool
killer would get the ice man, and if
the man that reads the gas meter up
at our house would get a hot box
and burn out-so to speak. Even If
the perspiration does "merrily along
we roll down the back of ones under
pajamas, he could dream of polar
bears and nice places out in the coun-
try where to keep cool is easy
But.
When he is far away, fast asleep in
bunch of red clover, his bare toes
wiggling at the sun in wanton ex-
uberance, and his hair dripping wet
from imaginary plunges in the heav-
emily lake, in comes the gas man with
register as long as a fishing rod.
and five minutes later your wife tele-
phones that the ice-coupons are all
gone and shall she buy another book
at $3.50 SILVER? One gets so hot
after such an ordeal that he feels like
doing this:
Out in the woods where the brook runs
cool
Where the minnows dart in a playful
Out in the fields where the clover red
Far, far out from the city's heat,
Even beyond the county seat"
Away back there where flowers grow.
And the squirting waters fuss and flow
That's where my dreaming carries
mel
Deep in the pools where the cattle stand
Along the shelving. sandy strand
In Dreamy Land
Dreamy Land Dreamy Land
Where the high bank looks 10 the sleepy
town,
To the nectared edge of ripping brown
That's where my dreaming carries
Moist is the earth in this niche of rest
Where the brownthrush joys in her low
out in the field there the gophers sknlk.
Ear; far out from the eity's heat
Away back there where Breezes blow
And the Cabling brooks in rhythms
That's where my dreaming carries
zephyrs earess from the Iceland sstrans,
In Dreamy Land!
Dreamy Land Dreamy Land!
There the loves of old to the memsry
with the gas man gone and the ice man.
There the bill collector cant pursue
That's where my dreaming carries
me!
. . y
Our horse is getting so touchy
these days, he won't pass a grocery
wagon with a can of gasoline in it.
| He auto be more reasonable.-Uncle
By.
! tugboat is called she" because
/ it always has something on the
string. insists on leading the process
sion, and generally blows about 1t,
/ ga
One faces a breeze to light pipe.
IT'S the same way in life, If man
desires success he must face the mu.
sic from the cradle to the grave.
A man may not look particularly
well on Jag" of hay. but even this
gives him a better entire than when a
lag" of corn is on him.
&&
Thermometer-99 degrees in the
shade. Coal-s9.b0 per ton! 1t is
wonderful what nice, cool weather we
are having. isn't it2
/
bald-headed man will stand for
hours watching flies get stuck on fly.
paper, and feel only partially revenged
at that.
RA
The eloquenee of some dumb men
| Is wonderful when compared to the
same characteristic in some orators.
-
Little icy cinkers
Little gobs of care.
Make the sweating business man
Crosser than beari
A na(u)tty silk bathing suit has
cost many a young man a diamond
rims.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

They are busy in New York Just
now counting the geese that Get
Rich-Quick" Goslin plucked.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

II would seem that PATHS other
visits were merely au.revour tours.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

AT this season of the year no boy
needs to be told that swimming is
healthful exercise.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

The above was written just few
days prior to the announcement OF
Drs Stiles wonderful discovery. DR..
Stiles has found a fine hair-like
worm" that is poison to mosquitoes"
This bit of larva fatally attacks the
"skeeter" where he lives. 1t will be
seen, then, that all the lovers by the
lake need do is take a nice pocketful
of Docs worms along of an evening
Whenever mosquito gets busy biting
the fair neck of his little princess, the
bold lover merely unlooses a fine,
hair-like worm" says "sic EN-" and
continues ITO Have and to Hold
the book we mean
Thus 1t will be seen that counting
may continue along the chortling lake
despite the long nosed Peter" We
make this explanation rather than re-
wise the doggerel
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Living is high in New York. Even
dog ate 800 for luncheon the other
day.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

When Little Willie was a babe
His mother kissed his feet
She likewise crooned her baby-by<S
To Sleeping little sweetr
But now that Willie is a youth.
And shores past breakfast time.
His father sings a different song
That maketh William climb!
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
nv CHARLES pAscoE.

MOUNTAIN HOME. IDAHO.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17
LOU DILLON e .o5N 70

LOU Dillon reduced the world trot-
ting record for mares from 2:03A.
made by Alix, to 2:03t6 at Cleveland.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

And pedal the floor till kingdom come.
Now walk, eonsarn you, walk
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-09-17

Our horse is getting SO touchy
these days, he won't pass grocery
wagon with a can of gasoline in it.
He auto be more senable.-Uncle
BY.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-20
Culture and POliteness In Caracas.

Caracas has public library which
contains not less than 10000 volumes.
The better class Of citizens are not only
educated as we understand the word.
but accomplished to degree not com
mon in North America. Both sexes are
able to speak three or four languages
besides their own and are well up in
art and music. AS for politeness, there
are no such people under the sun.
Whenever a Venezuelan, male or fe-
male, writes letter. whether to dear
friend or stranger. he or she invariably
concludes it with the words, Beso sus-
manos 81 kiss your hands," and when
ever a Venezuelan gentleman meets a
lady, whether it be his sweetheart or
his grandmother he hastens to assure
her that he is lying at her feet"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-20
Graz aphic's Daily Story

| you d701i ;,l-p t11;itr time. YOU nugneu
and kissed back"
"It was ages ago.
She bent over the rail again away
from him. His eyes were so full OF
something something - it unnerved
her. and the others were watching. She
could almost feel Harvey's gaze.
But, dear. I've been loving you all
! the time I'm not a kid. Gwen. Listen
to me. Turn your head again. You're
afraid" :"
"Of what
'Your eyes. They tell
After pause:
Dare you to, Gwen?'
She turned her head slowly and
looked at him.
"You silly boy"
"Sweetheartw
"Tm not Bertie, don't! Mammals
watching.'
"And Harvey? Is he so very rich,
Gwen? Say. Gwen don't he look like
a frog in his evening suit? Gwen, look
at that old fossil and then at me- Love
me- Gwen"'
"The curtain will go up in a minute.
Hush.'
Gwen"
"Husll-dear"
you darling. Say it again.
'Dear. dear dear! Now will you be-
have?'
"lf could tell him for sure Gwen
dad, | Mean-that had you for sure
you know. dear, he'd stand by us; l
know he would. He isn't like the wom-
en-. All they think of is landing Il fel-
low like Harvey and his cash. Dad
knows love you. He'd give me start,
dear heart. 1t would be fun starting
together, wouldn't it, Gwen? You're
young, and I'm young. | would dc any
thing in life with you to say Go ahead
Gwen
"The curtain is rising"
Never mind. The rest will look at
the stage. Just give me your hand if
you're afraid. sweetheart - just your
hand for answer. When | bend for
ward put your hand down, and they
won't see. Please, Gwen. Then I'll be
good, dear. Just to be sure. Your eyes
told anyway. Oh, you darling"'
Curtain rises. Her fan falls.
IYOLA L. MERRIFIELD.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-20
|ENTR' ACTE

tCopyright, 1903. by T. G. McClurel
"Of course you knew all along"
lie was tearing the edges Of the pro-
d5ramme into scallops and did not look
ct her
"i did not, you silly boy. How could
II You never said word"
"But l looked"
E<Lots look" ~
"Harvey?"
"1e looks lovely
GLOW do look ~
SfHertie. Yot big, silly, silly kid child!"
F<Don't laugh at me, then. 1t isn't
<nke"
She leaned over the plush rail of the
box and let rose leaf nuttter. light as
E baby butterfly, down to the tier be-
lGw,
sYou girls must have loads of propo-
qsaa]s''
~Why?'
ooh, you all take it so easy You just
laugh at a fellow and look pleasant
ls1ad all that
~nave you asked so many, Bertie?"
@@Ten. Scored, didn't you? Honest.
~Sshough, l haven't, Gwen; just you,
dear
tGThere WAS that Ferris Girl
t<Who? Nadge-little Madge Ferris?
! wasn't i'll love with her. We just
caiummed. You know, Gwen She was
q s3eat chum.'
ttDid YOU ever kiss her, Berte?"
Not since she was old enough to
45ght That isn't anything. I've kissed
you, Gwen
Dead silence; orchestra plays LA Pa
noma."
Gwen, tie tip of your ears awfuily
pink. l'UTn round, won't you? I don't
care. did. 1t was down at PARKWAY
Beach. that summer. Member, Gwen?
You were an awfully funny little gaw-
NY kid those days. Fuzzy hair and big
eyes
You used to call me walIeyed friz-
zietop," she said over her shoulder. and
der eyes were full of dream light and
her voice was low. at was ages ago"
tsAnd 1 chased you that day You
could run as fast as us boys. Way up
Ghe beach, past the cottag ges and the
nil road, UP to where the rocks be-
gan"
"There was cave with shells in the
sand. and seaweed tangled in the
rocks She bent nearer with parted
lips of expectancy.
1.-The Green Dragons cave. you called
1t, member And l caught you there
and kissed you hard, didn't l, Gwen?
And you said it wasn't fair, cause you
turned into mermaid as soon as you
reached the cave"
HeAnd you said you were wave,
chen, and could follow Wasn't it fuh?"
"Great fun. Gwen. Gwen, darling,
wish l hati gu there this minute"
81 slapped you"
ssAnd then l held your hands and
kissed you again. was good those
DAYS Hetpgned a kiss for a blow And