Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-07-06

Actress they dared Inc to come
back"
Wall Street: The most noted If not
the most popular watering place in the
countrywide.
Dyer-"Who holds the record in your
automobile club!' Jack-"Shaifer. lie
ran over himself "-Brooklyn Life.
Tom-"Did she ask you if she were
the only girl you ever loved?" Jack
NO. She took it for granted."-
Someryille Journal
Lady ito blind man}-"My poor man,
what made you blind?" Tramp
"Looking for work. ma'am."-Cook
County Jail Journal.
Patron-"What did you say this is,
waiter?" wberry short
cake, SIR" Patron-"M ike cake
strawberries, isn't it?
The Englshman"I understand you
Americans elect all your rulers by bal
lot" The American-"Y cs-ail but our
wives. "-Chicago News.
"Wiljams have you named the baby
yetY almost. We've got the two
grandmothers to agree to arbtrate the
se."-Chicago Tribune.
A public benefactor: Bromley seems
to be getting rich?' Yes. He invent
ed collar button chaser that is q
great success. "-Chicago Record Her
aid.
Where's your boy going after he
leaves the model school," ITO some
school that amt model, l guess, to
learn reading, writing, and figures. y
Judge
Baco1="D!d you understand the Ian
guage when you We're in Paris, last
summer" Egbert-"Well - when |
talked to myself d.d"-ionkers
Statesman.
Quite difference: "What is the DIFF
ference between gown and crea-
tion?" II can't give you the exact
figure, but it's a small fortune.
Chicago Post.
The Doctur-"You have bad cold,
Mr.. Jiggs. III give you some pills
for it." Jiggs-"Oh, never mind. doc
tor. You can have it for nothing.'-
Hazard Lampoon.
Host-My wife Is worrying about
there being thirteen Mt the table to-
night. Guest-Superstitio eh? Host
No; she has only dozen silver
knives and forks.-Chicago News.
! Percy-"Mlss Sweetly, do you think
you could be happy with man like
me?" Miss Sweetly-"Well. perhaps
If he wasn't too much Ike your
Comic Cuts.
Victlm-"Ooo! Phew! You charge
double price for this kind of sham
DOC, don't you?" Barbcr-"Yes." Vic
tim-"So thought. l notice that you
are making me suffer twice as much"
N. Y. Weekly.
First Citizen-"What do you think
of this idea of an army of the unem-
ployed marching to Washington?'
Second Citizen-"That's nothing new.
1t happens every four years. New
York Weekly.
Remarkable woman: my wife Is a
famous cook" Mullins announced,
proudly. "So?" responded Barlow, in
differently. Eyes, sir. She concocts
sauces that make even health foods
palatable. Life.
Housewlfe-"Mlna, is dinner not yet
ready? We are all starving" Nina
(who Is reading novel,-"No, dinner
is not ready and it won't be until |
| find out whether the black knight wins
that fair lady or not"
Shea well-known writer says that
in order to succeed man must be
% per cent. back bone" IIe-"Oh, l
don't know. A good many who have
managed to arrive are % per cent.
cheek. Chicago Daily News.
lis my daughter familiar with the
great composers?" asked Mrs. Cumrox.
MADAME" said the music teacher,
with look of desperation. ''she is not
merely familiar with Them she is i'm
pertinent" Washington Star.
Seemed to cover it: Architect doubt
fully-'It seems as If there should be
something on the top of your house
when it is finished, Mr.. Millionaire"
Mr.. Millionaire Might |
suggest a roof"-Chicago Record-Her-
aid
brother, don't you know if you
swear at these mules you won't 90 to
paradise?" Yes, parson; but if
don't swear at them | won't get to the
end of the row, and that's the impor.
tant thing at present. '-Philadclp
Record.
Mrs Stubb-''Let us stop Mt this
hotel, John" Mr.. Stubb-"The one
down the beach is just as large" Mrs.
| Stubb-"Yes, but this one has pc.
ture of the hotel on the station ry that
covers half the envelope. "-ChicagC
Daily News.
"What's the matter? What are you
shivering about demanded the first
rabbit. "1here's dude out tn r. W til
a gun" replied the other. Wei, he
doesn't see us at all" "That's just it
He's aiming at something else. PHI. !.
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