davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
An Excited Consul General.
He Sees Visions of German Colombian
Alliance

AGi~duCe.
A person of the picturesque name
&c Arturo de Brigard, who acts as
consul general for Colombia in New
York, announces that he has heard his
government contemplates appealing TO
Germany for protection against the
rude proceedings of the United States
with regard to Panama, and is ready,
in return for such protection, to giant
certain territorial concessions to the
Kaiser.
Offhand, we should say that Don
Arturo is having a pipe dream. IN
deed, we don't mind betting dollars to
doughnuts that he never heard any
thing of the kind. Not Il put too fine
a point upon it, we think Don Arturo
Is an ass.
Germany is not hunting for trou-
tie; not on this continent, at any rate.
She values the friendship of the
United States far too much TO strike
an alliance with Colombian grafters.
What she wishes to see accomplished.
nc doubt-and in this she is one with
The civilized worlds the building OF
the canal. How is she TO hasten that
consummation by playing, directly OF
Indirectly, into the hands of irrespon-
sible bushwhackersf
Don Arturo de Brigard-what a
name, we repeat, for comic opera!-
should collect his thoughts, if he can.
and not permit them to escape through
his hat.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
Some Slight Slips.

Speaker Henderson relied greatly upon
him. as did Speaker Reed, and Mr.. Can
non found him Of Invaluable service
yesterday. his first day in the Speakers
chair. Sometimes Uncle Joe" was in
clined TO present a resolution for pass
age when the call Wa : for the previous
question. but Mr. Hines would correct
him In time. and the proposition was
properly stated. Once the new Speaker
called for the ayes when he should
have asked for the noes" but he
quickly corrected himself, and the slip
was only an evidence OF the fact that
he was perhaps just q BIT nervous. Once
he recognized a member as the gentle
man from Georgia when he knew that
the member was from Tennessee. but
such a mistake the Speaker frequently
makes. Altogether il must be conceded
that Uncle JOe's first day IN the chair
proved him TO be an able and efficient
presiding officer. He conducted himself
with absolute fairness and impartialIty
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Melba will not sing at the White
House. because she does not know the
Presidents wife Hoity-tOity. how big
we public entertainers have grown. TO be
sure! In the frank old days we used
to know our Ils,ce better; and, indeed
If Melba or any on,s else. who sings and
acts for a living. had offered such an
iIl-mannerly slight to the first lady OF
any land on earth. except this easy go
ing one, the offense would have meant
deserved kissing of the stage at the
next public appearance and perpetual
Punishment
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
Questions qndAmsqOerS
Kate Drexel

What is Kate Drexel. who is interested in
mission work among the Indians? viii you
give olief account OF her life and her work.
J. II. S.
Kathryn Drexel is a daughter of a
wealthy Philadelphia banker of that
name. She Joined a SisterhOod about
four years ago and has been devoJing
her time in working among the Indians
since. She has charge of the Sisters
Mission at st. Michaels, near Fort De-
fiance. Ariz.. and has recently given
100000 for the erection of a hospital
and a school at that place.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Not Ready Yet.

A Philadelphia photographer tells this as
having actually happened woman entered
his studio.
''Are you the photographer
Yes. madam"
do you take children's pictures2"
''Yes. certainly"
'How much do you charged
''Three dollars a dozen"
''well," snid the woman, sorrowfully, in
have TO see you again. eve only got eleven "
Philadelphia Ledger
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
Looks Like Henderson.

A portly gentleman with q shock OF
gray hair hanging over his ears and a
heavy gray mustache dropping over his
mouth. sat well toward the center OF the
Republican side of the House yesterday
and strangers who saW him inquired OF
veteran visitors IN the galleries how II
was that ex-Speaker Henderson. now
not q member OF the House, occupied 4
seat upon the floor
..Tn give it up; ! didn't know Colonel
Henderson was here" said one old-timer
who has attended the opening OF every
session for twenty years, when asked
the question AS the day wore on the
wonderment increased Finally the time
came 10 wind NJ the days business
Then the portly gentleman whom the
galleries had taken 70 be Colonel Hen
derson arose slowly and with great dig
nifty, even approaching solennity, said,
Mr.. Speaker. move that the House do
now adjourn"
LAS / live" exclaimed the old-timer.
why that is Serene Payne; but look
he has shaved his whiskers"
Sure enough the statesman from Au-
burn has had a close shave which re-
moved his hirsute appendange, SO that
for all the world when seated at dis
lance he looks like ex-Speaker Hendsr-
son. Even his old friends in the House
commented upon the fact yesterday Mr.
Payne takes kindly to the SUGGESTION
that he looks Ike Henderson, al
though he avows that in shaving Ma
beard he had no intention OF creating .
makeup 10 resemble the ex-Speaker.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
An Original Design.

When the piece was brought into the
chamber 1t covered not only Mr.. Baker >
desk but one on either side Of him. and
was by far the most original design
OF the hundreds presented TO other
members BY admiring friends.
The card attached bore the inscrip-
ton: ITO the anti-pass Congressman.
from HIS admirers throughout the United
States Among the contributors were
Judge E O. Brown and Louis F. Post.
Chica go; William Lloyd Garrison, Bos-
ton: Gov. L. c. +. Garvin, Rhode
Island; Judge Samuel Seabury. William
Everett Hicks. ana august Lewis. New
York; S. c. Rogers. Buffalo: Rev H ,
Bigelow and Daniel Kieser. Cincinnati:
DIR. W. P. Hnl. st. Louis. and c q.
Buell.. Minneapolis The Washington
committee having charge OF the presen-
tation were T. S Siddons, n II Ra-
mage, and @. Z. Bedeu-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
The German Octopus.
Neither Feared Nor Hunted by the
Benighted Teutons.

0(ASAtS4 a.G0lOuo-
They DO not fear the octopus In
Germany; at least they don't fear it
IL Hamburg. The chamber of com
merce of that great trade center
deprecates, IN It's annual report, amy
restrictive measures against the ex-
tension or the activity of commercial
combines" so-ealled trusts anG
syndicates. The chamber holds suel,
repressive action on the part of the
government to be injurious to the
general economic interests of the coun-
try. 1t believes, in fact, that any
abuses attending the activity of trusts
will correct themselves.
All Of which tends to show what a
benighted country Germany Is, and
how backward its politicians are. Our
politicians know better. They fatten
the octopus only to hunt him TO ms
lair afterward, and to make him
disgorge. The hunt of the octopus
has with US been recognized sport
these many years. He grOwls-we
mean the octopus does-but it is not
OF record thai the hunter IS ever hurt.
Neither is the octopus. But the
lcoker-on sometimes is. That's where
the fun comes In.
The politicians of the Fatherland
are a terribly backward lot.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
The Hudson,s Bay Company.

When was the UudsOns Bay Company organ
lied. and for what purpCsei How long did It's
monopoly lass? HI. s.
In 1870 for trace with the Indians. It
was abolished IN 1883. and ten years
later the company gave up al its priyi-
leges TO the Dominion OF Canada. re-
ceiving a land grant Of 100000 acres
and $500 900. and retained ats trading
stations.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
Autumn.

like TO hear the dry leaves crack
Beneath my heavy shoes
l like the crash OF brittle twigs
While winding through the slOughs,
Or up, or down the bayOu's banks,
Or near the old lakes edge
l like the dead brown trappings
Of the wood. and field. and hedge.
y.
z like the soft ard silken swish
OF leaves wrung from the boughs,
The rhythmic rustic. light and low,
And sweet as lovers VOWS
I like old antumn's trappings when
The summer seasons fed.
And Nature starts her thrifty loom
To remake all that's dead
New Orleans Times Democrat
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
peclines Pass; Co. 3 Railroad.

Representative Baker. the anti-pass
Representative from Brooklyn. promises
to make himself conspicuous in the
House IN the coming sesS-0n. He has
already attracted much attention be-
cause Of the firm anti-corporation posi-
ton he has assumed Mr.. Baker de-
ciined to accept a railroad pass last
March, and the refusal Of such a graf
uity was so unique IN an ofacehoider
that the Brooklyn Congressman at once
achieved a reputation from one end OF
the country TO the other
He renewed his fight against passes
as soon as he reached Washington by
introducing a resolution IN the Demo
cratic caucus to commit the Democrats
members OF the House 10 the policy OF
refusing to accept favOrs from rail-
roads As a sequel to his anti-pass agi-
tatfon, Mr. Bakers friends yesterday
presented him with a handsome floral
piece in the design Of a railroad engine
and tender. 1t was constructed Of blue.
yellow. and white immorteiies. and
placed upon a track OF ferns and cut
flowers OF roses and carnations.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

The pie trust in New York. which
u not protected by the tariff. is creating
rebellion among the pie distributors. II
Is said that every baker belonging to the
trust is heavily bonded against taking
the customer Of any other baker. A
meeting is to be held to protest against
the trust and supply distributors with
pies. This American conspiracy against
pie undoubtedly can be upset by pub
licity and abstinence.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

taken some Jumps of sugar out of the
bowl with her fingers. on which he re-
quested her in future either TO wash her
hands or to use the sugar tongs. Lord
OrfOrd's story OF the quarrel was that
he objected to her taking too many
Jumps OF sugar in her tea Whatever
the rights and wrongs OF this matri-
monial squabble were. 1t was followed
about year later by Lord Oxford :
sensational elopement with the wife Of
the fifth Duke Of Newcastle. herself the
only daughter of the tenth Duke of
Hamilton
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
Death of MOntezuma.

What was the real cause of the death OF
Aontezuma, at the time Of the invasion by
Cortes? MEXICAN.
1t Is not known. The Spaniards said
at the time that he was killed by
stone thrown at him by one of his own
followers. but It seems more than likely
that he was murdered by his Spanish
captors
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
Another Ring.

Calvert, jr.-Beats all how those three clergy
men are getting nearly all the marriages to
perform, while the others are getting none.
Balty MOore-Looks as II they had formed
sort Of wedding ring. doesn't itg-Baltinore
American.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
Cailu Calendar of american History


1I7S-Massacre by Tories and Indians OF
Americana at Cherry Valley.
lS65-Captain Wirz executed for cruelty
10 Fedora prisoners at Anderson
Vile.
1S76-Centennial exhibition at Philadel-
phia closed.
1SS7-Sentence Of Chicago anarchists
Fielden and SchBab committed TO
imprisonmen mt for life; Lingg kills
himself by exploding a bomb In his
mouth
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
The Standard Yard.

From what was the standard yard taken or
reckoneds FRANK TROXLER.
From the TrOughton scale. which was
procured from London in 1914. 1t was
eighty-two inches long. and the yard
was taken as the distance between its
twenty-seventh and sixty-third divi-
sion
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Panama scandal" sounds well. but
sip know that many a so-called scandal
turns out to be as innocent as a dish
Of corn-meal mush.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

They are organizing a campaign
against the Mormons in Utah. The
average man might see some good in
a Mormon If the system led TO a more
thorough study OF the ways OF women,
but II was never proved that Il aid.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

York Journal over the fact that our
State Department was Informed Of the
events on the isthmus nearly as soon as
they took place. Would the Journal
have Secretary Hay send warships
down there and blow uD the means of
communication
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

It is observed by some people with
great surprise that there are no Popu-
lists in Congress this session. To be
sure There are no birds in last years
nests
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

1t is true that there has been graft
in the Postoffice Department, but the
founder OF that graft. the gentleman
who organized it and developed it into
a fine art, was put in place by an honest
man-Grover Cleveland. We think that
Democratic critics should note that the
cleansing OF the Postoffice Department
has been effected by Roosevelt If there
is ''honeyeomb of fraud" the bees which
made that comb are no longer eating
the honey from other hives.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
In a Lighter Vein.
A Grandstand PLAY.

The boy stood on the burning deck,
According 10 an ancient law
lie couldn't figure out, by heck
a way BY which 10 leave the wreck,
And 50 he made q grandstzaad playi
milwaukee, Sentinel
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

!. may be that the college boy draws
inspiration for his weird and blood
curdling yells from the ancient classics.
but the probability is rather that they
are suggested by the domestic cat in the
middle of the night
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Is there any indication In the Ohio
campaign that that egomaniac. Tom
johnson, has been driven from the
Bryanite craze and is railying to the
Cleveland contingent for 1904?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

American aristocracy has been crown
ed with real success. There have been
sham dukes, and counts. and princes.
but now somebody has thought it prac-
ticable to mike himself up as sham
Goelet nobly condescending TO do the
King Cophetua act
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
Misunderstood.

do you drinkl' inquired the young wJman's
mother. The young man hesitated
do you drinky'' the lady repeated
III you insist, replied the modest young
man--Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Secretary Hay has recognized the
talent for prompt and secret organiza-
ton" latent In the I.atin-American
makeup. and it now bshooves him to
keep his diplomatic x-rays ready for it's
continued recognition.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

The senior class Of the Columbian Law
School has decided that a Mormon can
not be It's president The next thing
VIII be to decide whether the class
favors officers belonging to churches
Episcopalian. Methodist, Presbyterian.
or Hard Shell Baptist.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

H. B. Marriott Watson seems to be
worried over the future OF American
women. Is he contemplating marriage
with one Of them?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

The prosperity of the American coast
wise shipping is an invincibie argument
for the protection of our ocean-carryins
trade. Were the ocean-carrying trade
protected as the coastwise trade is, and
as the carrying trade of Great Britain
is protected. capital invested in Ameri-
can shipping would have an income OF
sec. 0OO. 0Oo a year, the amount which
Americans are now paying foreign ships
for carrying our commerce across the
seas. AS a business proposition, this
seems workable And when business
ideas control politics. We shall see the
American flag flying over our cross
ocean commerce.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
The Drift of Public Opinion.

New York World: The Congressmen who are
afraid to sten On the handsome rugs in the
Speakers lobby need have no fears so long
IS they keep their feet OF the Constitution and
their hands OF the surplus.
Columbus Citizen: Speaker Cannon viii
greatly enlarge his list Of enemies when b
comes 10 making up his committees.
Houston Post: Ambition grows by what it
feeds upon Already Colonel Mcclellan has
heyinced desife to be governor Of New York.
Perhaps he considers gubernstorial honors
necessary precedent to Presidential ditto.
Philadelphia Inquirer: When Congress meets
next week. R. O. Moon viii be one member
who can say he has come fresh from tbs
Deopie, and tie wonder viii grow that Con-
gressSnen n general cannot take their seao
the same year that they are elected.
birmingham Age-Herald: John sharp VII
liasns in .he House and Arthur Pue German in
the Senate win lead the Democracy to = greas
victory il 1904
Char lotte O.. c. News. 1t NAV heroine pop
ular in the United States Senate 80 marry in
haste and ight breach-oi promise suits at leisure
An Inartistic Ending.
An artist disposed OF a plaque
For quite a respectable staque:
lie drank something red
That went 20 his head
And they carried ham home in haquei
Milwaukee SenflneL
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
Record Rasehal, rhrow-

What is the worlds record for the longest
baseball .lros9 BARRY EISTEEN
r. c. Campbell holds THIS record. The
distance was 81 feet 25k inches
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
The Dog.

The dog is eloquently built,
For would he speak his JOY OF guilt
With either end Of him he may
The secret Of his heart display.
Some very decent dogs are yellow,
But those who early bark and below
Against the bright innocuous moon
Should do it less or not - soon.
The dog, he is, 70 say the least,
A very interesting beast.
There's only one bad kind Of him,
All other dogs are cherubim.
LENVOi
The kind OF dog | mean is he
That's owned by some one else than me.
-Harper's Magazine
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

A Chicago man has been sued for
s25, 600 on account OF a kiss. but he would
look more dignifed in the situation If
he had succeeded in getting the kiss.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Mr.. Labouchere has produced the first
piece OF unconscious humor ever at
tributed &c him. He says that he really
has no desire to be king. Who would,
when it Il possible to be Labouchere?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
urzs u $ Illustration.

nigglh,
vcsP
, kink look
uTl.
nigguh,
sense
mp dat
nceg
niggul,
fac.
oou TO
% nd black.
Hat fence am
III stand
fa dar be
land
Orleans Times Democrat.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
Safetv in NUMBER.

'Why do 50 many Of you go around playing
togetheri citizen Of the leader OF
the Germ
lit va the thoughtful reply OF
the Teut Statesman.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Hobson has again succ eeded in break
ing into the newspapers, but in order to
do it he had to resort to the expedient
Of losing a diamond brooch.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Retirement of Army Officers.
At what age are army officers retiredS ARMY.
At sixty-four
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Nothing makes a woman so suspicious to
have Ter husband give her an extra allowance
when his business is keeping him late at the
ONCE
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Is it possible tlrat the reason the yell
low critics are so dissatisfied is that
there was no blood shed in that Pana-
ma revolution?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

A woman ALWAYS has an idea that the reason
she doesn't understand business is because she
Knows hoy 20 Sew 50 we'll
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

To the last day she lives woman can never
understand how worry about money
matters wnen the children are doing well al
school.
-Nepg York Pres
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Charlotte O.. c. News. 1t NAV heroine pop
ular in the United States Senate 30 marry in
haste and fight breack-of- pronIiss suits at leisure.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Mormons exist TO prove that men never learn
anything from, experience.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

The spring bride Of autumn is the summer
nurse Of winter.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-11-10

Columbus Citizen: Speaker Cannon vii
greatly enlarge his list Of enemies when b
comes 10 making up his committees.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-12
BEAUTY DON'TS
FOR THE EYES

Don't work longer than two hours
without closing the eyes and resting
them for five minutes
Don't use the eyes when they are
tired or weak from illness.
Don't sleep opposite a window, or
where a strong light will strike the
eyes on awakening.
Don't expose the eyes to a strong
light at any time, such as sunshine or
gas or lamp light
Don't have colored shades on the
lamps. Use white or ground glass.
If you must have colored shade, LEI
it be green.
Don't read in a reclining attitude, or
in bed.
Don't use the eyes before breakfast.
Don't sit facing a strong light. IL
possible, let the light fall on work or
+ book from over the left shoulder.
Don't neglect to battle the eyes oc-
casionally in salt water. A weak solu-
ton is best.
Don't battle eyes that are infamed
with cold water. Use warm water.
Don't open the eyes under water
when bathing, especially in salt water
Don't fail to wash the eyes every
night before retiring, so as to remove
any dust that may have gathered on
the lids during the day.
Don't allow cold, raw wind to
strike the eyes.
Don't look too steadily from car
window at objects that are constantly
| flying past you.
Don't wear a veil with black dots
or one woven with double threads.
Don't try to get a cinder out of the
eye by rubbing Dip a tiny camel $
hair brush in oil and draw gently
| across the eYeball.
Don't rub the eyes by outward mo-
| ton but toward the nose which
| rounds the ball and preserves its nor
NAL shape.
Don't fail to consult an oculist IL
| you find that your eyesight is growing
| dim or hesitate to wear glasses II
you need them.
Don't give up in despair when told
| that cataract is forming. In these
days of advanced surgery it can De
removed with little or no danger 10
fha vision
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-12

With everything in fashion tending
toward an unprecedented elegance, the
bridal trousseaux fashioned for spring
wear reveal splendors never seen be-
fore.
The rough curtain laces so much
employed elsewhere are not in favor
for these dazzling frocks, though the
brides mother, even if she has reach
ed so, may wear a gown of ivory yak,
which is a coarse dentelle made from
the wool of that animal The supe-
riority of this wool lace over the cot
ton sorts is that the threads are
shrunk before weaving. The patterns
are the same as in the cotton laces.
and, with the insertions whipped to-
gether in the same way, the yak
gowns are also built over foundations
of dead white chiffon and silk. The
price of such costume, which can be
had ready made at several Of the good
shops, is $3.50.
The brides lace gown, which is