Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-06-17
The SatChel that Proved to be
a Fateful Boomerang.

a Fateful Boomerang.
Walkers Music Hall was in full
swing. A sad faced musician was in
dustriously humping an asthmatic
piano. On the stage stout and viva
cious songstress was holding forth in
musical numbers. Nimble walters
scurried about the place. 1t was evil
IDENTIFY part of their duty strongly to
recommend the purchase of beer. If
an auditor steadfastly withstood the
walters forceful opportunities, the
bouncer appeared and gently intro
duced himself. At times like these
the reluctant customers Immediately
acquired an eager thirst, and placed
large and substantial orders.
In a far corner sat Tim Kelly, whisp-
ering to friend. Tim was one of
those interesting characters who exist
successfully and even joyously without
imperilling their constitutions with
the injurious effects of hard work. He
was a philosopher; but even so, he
had his dark moments. Take the
present time, for instance. The po-
lice had never been so perniciously
active. Easy money had never been
so difficult. Things had reached such
a pass that the Demon Work began
| to look Tim in the face. Tim snud-
dered as he gaZed at it's horrid fea-
lures, and even now, in the music hall,
his hand shook nervously as he hid
| his fevered face from the memory OF
the phantom in rapidly successive
pints of beer.
"You say that Hartzell & Co. keep
! $4,000 in their safe over night?''
| queried Tim.
"Sure thing replied the other. sold
| fashioned safe, too. Why, man, it'll
be as easy as money from home-a
regular pudding"
1t might be set forth here that cpl
cures now generally agree that the
proof of the pudding is in the digest
ing of it, and when a man of Tim
Kelly's accomplishments starts out in
pursuit of such a pudding as he seem
ed to have in mind. he often finds that
! he has developed a severe and chronic
case of Indigestion
|
It was night. Fourth avenue was
deserted. The electric lights splut-
tered Intellectually against the desolat-
ing darkness. The rattle of belated
Third avenue train sounded family
through the oppressive silence. The
stage setting was all complete for a
thrilling melodrama. Tim Kelly,
standing in Hartzell & Co.'s doorway,
made an ideal leading character His
every attitude and gesture foretold a
breathless dramatic situation.
Tim Kelly cast an apprehensive eye
up and down the avenue. The soil
tary policeman on the corner might
have been carved out of stone Tim
smiled pleasantly at the immutability
of this guardian of the peace, for Tim
twas of an unassumfng nature and he
did not care to have his nightly bust
ness visits heralded by any particular
blare of official trumpets.
A few minutes later the scene had
changed. Tim was now in the cash
ier's room of Hartzell e Co. He lit a
convenient little lantern and examin-
Gd the safe with professional eye. A
Greek scholar might have likened Tim
to Diogenes of old in his search for an
honest man. The scholar would have
been somewhat puzzled, however, by
the subsequent behavior of this mod
ern Diogenes unless he might have
enthusiastically reasoned that there was
an honest man in the safe.
While Tim was engaged in liberat
ing this supposititious honest man
from the safe, a second character
quietly entered upon the scene. Tim
looked up with a regulation stage
start. His respectful gaze fell upon
a gun which had all the essential ap
>pearances of being capable of terrific
this ominous weapon was the solitary
policeman. This irritating officer
might still have been carved out OF
stone. With a quick movement of his
foot Tim overturned his convenient
little lantern. A second later he wa:
sprinting up Fourth avenue with al
the fire and action of Cortland
street commuter on lodge night
In order to clear the air Sigh thy, il
may be stated here that when a police
man of professional embonpoint starts
out after a man of Tim Kelly's capa
bilities and desires, the pursuer ha:
but little more chance than the hypo
thetical snowfall in that place never
mentioned in really polite society.
The street car was crowded The
standing ladies vindictiyely tramplet
upon the feet of the sitting gentlemen
Occasionally a muGled imprecatioI