davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 Men with brains make big money by marrying it.
 There's many a slip 'twiXt the vote and the ballot box
 It Is mighty hard for woman to keep from cheering the winning side, no mat ter whose 1t is.
 When a man meets woman ten years after she refused to marry him he feels like going out and buying champagne for the town.
 A girl isn't half afarid to be alone with a man in the dark as she is that some body might turn the light on from the outside with one of those new-iansled modern Improvements.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08
Looks Like an Error.

From the Chicago News.
 Nature occasionally makes mistakes, '' unused the lake-front philosopher.
 'How's that2" queried the man with the rubber habit
 Well. take the fishworms, for exam ple," answered the philosophy dispenser. As he has no winter fiannels to put on his squirming ability is largely wasted"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08
comfort, as follows;

The club determined that if the fam lily contains another person, it could get along in comfort by reducing the last item in the table and adding the reduction to other items. Each item was carefully discussed in the club, and there was some difference of opinion, but at last the table given above was adopted The allowance for rent was declared two small, but it was shown that it was the best pos
 sible solution of difficult problem. Miss Jane Addams showed that the rent item in France is never more than 25 per cent and never less than 20 per cent of the family income, and in France expenses are remarkably systematized, and savings for extra pleasures are carefully made. The en- tire discussion was interesting and helpful, and the application of the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08
On Twelve Dollars a Week.

The Hull House Woman's club has been Investigating the income prob lem. It first ascertainedNthat the in come of the average Chicago family is twelve dollars a week, and the club went to work to see how the best re- suits from such an income could be obtained. For family of four or five persons the club decided that such an income should be distributed in Chi cago. with satisfaction and resulting
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08
Beautiful Church Music.

At St. Paufs church at half past ten o'clock this morning the choir will sing Farmers mass, with Mrs. Putnam as soprano, and for the offertory, Mrs. Put nam will sing 70, Divine Redeemer," by Gounod. Farmers work is tuneful and brilliant. while the Gounod song is one of the most beautiful of the great com poser's sacred pieces
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Either the New York Journal is very influential, or else the other New York papers are ver5 uninhuential. The Journal alone supported George Brin- ton Mcclellan.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

The press and the pulpit are not match for Tammany when the wigwam is on it's good behavior and gets down to business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

The Vermont lawyers have decided that Shakespeare w-5 not a lawyer, and the Vassar seniors have said that his heroines are unlovely. But the bard will not mind these things.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

We have lost all right to complain of Russias action in Manchuria. Our own action in Panama has the Rus sian action skinned to the tail.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Practically speaking we have done annexed Panama, and now we must settle with our own consciences, and with pubic sentiment in the rest of the world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

The mathematicians of the elections should now turn their attention to Ann, whose correct age has been much neglected.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Mrs. Blanche Molineux is lucky sportswoman. She bagged a husband when she was gunning for divorce.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Mark Hanna's gout did not lessen his political activity or the number Of his votes, or the size of his campaign fund or the pro 5perity yarns he told.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Only one socialist legislator was elected in Massachusetts, which is be- low that states customary average.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

The presidential campaign is on in the fastest and most furious manner States are made and broken daily.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

It is astonishing how long 1t takes the Cleveland organs to hear the cleo ton news from Maryland.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08
It Depends.

From the Yonkers Statesman.
 "Is a cord of wood much, pop?"
 "Well. my son. it all depends on whether you are burning it or chopping
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

A man so crazy as to think Prof. Langleys airship is pursuing him has been unearthed. It pursues water only.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

table adopted to this town would not be without interest, for rents in this town are now on basls of five dollars room, and the rent item of Hull House would hire but two rooms, whereas three rooms for family of four or five would be essential.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Canada proposes to declare herself independent, and let the Monroe ooc- urine do the rest.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Panama is but another instance of vaulting ambition which o'erleaps itself and falls on t'other side. Col ombia will fight to the last ditch or maintain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

The people are still awaiting the publication of the Bristow report
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

President Roosevelt is trying his message on the cabinet on the in stallment plan.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Invecuve and emotion both come handy to Dowie of Zion City, formerly of New York.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Birmingham's iron man will be headliner at St. Louis worlds fair.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

The business man in politics-well, he rests inside the Tiger
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Dowie il in condition to be Jere- miah rather than Elijah.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Lest we forget it is best to state that the democrats carried Mlssls- sippi.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Tom Johnson had no wind shield when he came down the homestretch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

After all Schwab is but scapegoat There were bigger fellows in the game.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Canada has too much ice to the acre to he acceotable as an annexed district.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

No woman grafter has yet been dis covered
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

A. D. Glass. W. D. Bankston ana K, U. D'Neal are the only authorized traVehns representatives of The Age-heraid lh us circulation department
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

Daily and Sunday Age-Herald-....'. ss.Oo Daily and Sunday. per month......' W Sunday Age-Herald. per annum...'' s'oo oO Weekly Age-Herald, per annnm..... A'0V
 Subscriptions payable in advance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-08

The Vermont lawyers have decided that Shakespeare w.5 not a lawyer, and the Vassar seniors have said that his heroines are unlovely. But the bard will not mind these things.
 -s--- Either the New York Journal is very influential, or else the other New York papers are ver5 uninhuential. The Journal alone supported George Brin- ton Mcclellan.
 Practically speaking we have done annexed Panama, and now we must settle with our own consciences, and with pubic sentiment in the rest of the world.
  Panama is but another instance of vaulting ambition which o'erleaps itself and falls on t'other side. Col ombia will fight to the last ditch or maintain.
 Mark Hannas gout did not lessen his political activity or the number ot his votes. or the size of his campaign fund, or the pro 5perity yarns he told.
 ---s.--- We have lost all right to complain of Russias action in Manchuria. Our own action in Panama has the Rus sian action skinned to the tail.
 
 The press and the pulpit are not match for Tammany when the wigwam is on it's good behavior and gets down to business.
 The mathematicians of the elections should now turn their attention to Ann, whose correct age has been much neglected.
 A man so crazy as to think Prof. Langleys airship is pursuing him has been unearthed It pursues water only.
 
 Mrs. Blanche Molineux is lucky sportswoman. She bagged a husband when she was gunning for divorce
 
 Only one socialist legislator was elected in Massachusetts, which is be- low that states customary average.
 
 The presidential campaign is on in the fastest and most furious manner. States are made and broken daily.
 
 It is astonishing how long it takes the Cleveland organs to hear the cleo tion news from Maryland. Canada proposes to declare herself independent, and let the Monroe doc Urine do the rest.
 President Roosevelt is trying his message on the cabinet on the in- stallment plan. Inyecllve and emotion both come handy to Dowie of Zion City, formerly of New York.
 After all Schwab is but scapegoat. There were bigger fellows in the game.
 Lest we forget it is best to state that the democrats carried Missis- sippi.
 Canada has too much ice to the acre to be acceptable as an annexed district.
 
 Tom Johnson had no wind shield when he came down the homestretch. | Birmingham iron man Will De headliner at St. Louis worlds fair.
  The people are still awaiting the publication of the Bristow report. The business man in politics--well, he rests inside the Tiger.
 
 Dowie il in a condition to be Jere- miah rather than Elijah.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-29
PIANOS. PIANOS. PIANOS.

We are representatives for the toi- lowing we'll known makes:
 Knabe, Steck, Ivers < Pond, Poole
 Newby &s Evans, Monroe, HOW
 ard and Riddle.
 High and medium grade goods. low prices, easy terms. Good secoho-hanu and slightly used Pianos always on oii hand. Musical Instruments or all kinds. Classic and Popular Sheet Music Also Instruction Books TOT ali instruments.
 TIE DR1GGS 4 SW1TH GU. 4a Center St. Telephone 6oo~o'
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-29
SENTATIVE YEARS OF KNITTING

Sixty-five years of sock knitting and quilt piecing is the unique record of. the lifework of Miss Lucy Read of Danby, Vt, who has been blind since her tenth year. Previous to that she lost both hearing and speech also. When about 14 Miss Read was sent to Boston to be educated, where for time she was the friend and companion of Laura Bridgman. Failing health and homesickness, however, resulted in her homecoming after a short stay, and since then her time has been given to the making of mittens, socks, quilts and fancy articles. Miss Read designs her own patterns for all her work, do- ing all the cutting for patchwork with out assistance. Different colors she as- sorts by the sense of taste or smell. and rarely, if ever, makes a mistake, even in the threads used and she also threads her own needles. Her favorite color is green. but any bright color pleases her, and she delights in jewelry and trinkets. The companionship of children, too, is one of the chief pleas ures of her narrowed life, and the now fnfirm old woman can often be seen waiting about school for the hour of dismissal. Her generous distribution of her daily labors, little red mittens and gay colored slippers, has won her many fast friends among the little peo- pie whom she dearly loves.-New York Tribune.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-29
VALUE OF THE PARCEL POST

Every civilized nation will sooner or later possess parcel post A community which is content to leave the conveyance of it's parcels i'll the hands of private contractors must either be miserably poor or immensely rich, and,it may be added, long-suffer- ing. The two systems are not to be compared. The private carrier offers civility, zeal and other trading virtues, but only within a limited area; the post, with a limited amount of civility, offers speed, certainty, cheapness and ubiquity in the services of a vast or ganization, trained with military strictness, and having an agency (wo hundred and twenty-five thousand in the United Kingdom) in every village and ill every street of q great town.
 The parcel post is specially useful to the trader with q little capital, who sells a good article at low price. Such 3 man had formerly no chance against wealthy rivals, employing travellers and delivering his wares from his own vans. Now he merely has to adyer- t1se, and orders come pouring in from north, south, east and west, which he is able to execute with the maximum of speed. Persons bring local produc- tions to the notice of friends at a dis tance. And it is found that increase of parcel-post business means increase in other branches-letter writing, tele- graphing, remitting by money orders. -J. Henniker Heaton, May Cosmopoli. tan.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-29
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29, 1903.

The autobiography of a shop girl. as printed in Leslie's Weekly, among other things says that very few shop girls are married, for they generally marry to improve their condition, and natural ly do not intend then to work; they ex- pect their husbands to do the "hust- ling" Some of them, of course. are deceived, and are forced to return to the store in order to help out their hus- bands. But that this is not the rule is proved by the envy shown by the sales ladies to any one among them who an- nounces her engagement. People in general think, believe, that girls who like to rubber" as they call it, at night, are wicked lot. That has not been my experience with them. I have found many of them, indeed, careless to the verge of disreputability, but as a whole I have been impressed with their wisdom and character.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-29
TATTOED WEDDING FINGERS.

A professional tattooist is of the opinion tlat people nowadays want something more striking or more per- sonal than fearsome skin pictures of Japanese dragons, arrow-pierced hearts, and winged cupids.
 Recently he has ben visited by many ladies of all degrees anxious to have the date of their wedding permanently traced upon the skin. The favorite position for such date is on the third finger of the left hand, the inscription to be printed so finely that the we'd ding ring covers the marks. This. of course, is very delicate work and ne- cessitates the removal of the ring for a few days. Being somewhat of a novel, ty, fancy price is also expected.
 Ancient danes who have just cele- brated their golding weddings think the occasion worthy of some more per- manent record than that affored by the newspapers. Within month one fashionable tatooist piled his needles on the aged fingers of eight distin- guished ladies whose golden wedding gatherings had received notice in the daily journals.
 Nor do the veteran husbands object to be branded. A hale old squire of 79 offered an index finger to the artist, covering the fingers by donning a mas sive gold ring, in which diamond sparkled Another loyal husband had the dates done in many hues, conceal ing the name by a plain wedding ring purchased by his wife. A more precarious idea, albeit pret- ty one, is to wear the date of betrothal on the ring finger. Where love runs smoothly the fancy Is quiet poetical but should enstrangement ensue and indifference follow, the little figures under the jewelled girdle prove a yer itable eyesore-obliteratio being most painful; as. indeed is the tattooing 1t self, the skin of the fingers betrayine 1 sensitiveness of a very high order. One young lady, anxious to forget her en ! gagement to ficSle lover, had hel 1 dated finger operated upon four times 1 before the annoying figures were sat 1 !sfactorily effaced. 1 A tattooed finger caused a disturb ance between man and wife on ont l occasion. The husband had never told 1 his partner of a former attachment 1 but womanlike, she sought to know
 why he never removed the ring from his left third finger. His evasive ex ] cuses excited jealousy. She decided 1 that he should take off that ring some l day; but as he refused, she managed l by soaping his finger while he slep'
 soundly. to rid him of the golden band
 The finely tattooed inscription of his
 first engagement revealed what she
 considered to be his insincerity. an(
 weeks went by before peace was re
 established between them. Not, hom ever, until the marks were plotted ou
 did the agrieved lady treat him 1T
 wifely fashion The golden wedding 1 fancy is the safest, after all. thougl lacking the romance of the betrotha
 Bits.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-29

to vote the funds needed to carry it out. The bill provides that $14,0O0 shall be appropriated for salaries for the new department, and with other ex- penses it is estimated that its yearly cost will be about $30,O00. It will be the duty of this new department, of which MT Thrasher is expected to be the executive head, to supervise the doings of the local police, the prosecut- ing attorneys of the counties, the sher- ifs, deputy sheriffs and the minor courts and to meddle with their work whenever the state police think it cx- pedient to do so. The bill assumes that the peace and order of the state cannot be sufficiently maintained by the local authorities and that sub-government over them is required. One of the in- evitable results must be to discredit local government and consequently to weaken it, Quarrels, jealousy, ill- feeling, mutual suspicion between the local authorities and the officials of the sub-government must be among the re- suits of a system based and alleged to be justified on the assumption that the people of the several cities and towns are not competent to manage their own affairs
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-29

Those back of the charges against Officer Mansfield act as though they had a weak case. They showed this week ago when Judge Peasley in an interview talked about "whitewash," and again last evening when they inti
 mated that the members Of the board of safety were not giving them a fair show. Surely the men who have been "spotting'' on Officer Mansfield were not sharp or they would jot down a date now and then. Ben" Sedgwick used to be considered pretty good accountants and to think that he has been slowing up charges against this officer and never thought of putting down a date. One would hardly think it of our erstwhile selectman who re- tired from the office in such a blaze of glory. From Attorney Hunts re-
 marks last evening, we are led to be- lieve that the Citizens alliance is sort of pocket edition Of the Connecticut law and order league, which has made itself so obnoxious to local authorities in several places. If the law Is being broken in Waterbury these alliance fellows should report the same to the proper authorities, and if they do the matter will no doubt be attended to. own hands is bad thing whether by a mob or by body of citizens. Such business is promoter of discord and strife. and when a man has no business better than lodging complaints against his fellow man he is to be pitied. We have a police department, which is do- ing it's work, stories to the contrary notwithstanding, and we have police court and judges to take care of wrong I doers. Why then should it be neces-
 sary for a few people who want to
 remedy things to suit themselves, to step in and try to upset the running of i the government? Speaking of the 1 law and order league and the new DO
 lice bill the Bridgeport Farmer says
 The thrifty philanthropists of the
 law and order league generously offe1
 through Mir Thrasher to suspend theil
 benevolent and disinterested work fo1
 two years on the condition that the state establish and pay a special DO lice force. The Judiciary committed
 has consented to the bargain. The legislature is expected to ratify. it anc
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-29

The object of the American-Protec- tive Tariff league, whose members pay ill years when important elections are on a minimum annual assessment of this country favorable to the main- tenance of the protective tariff and to prevent the abatement of existing tariff rates. It is the personification of the stand pat idea. It opposes the crossing of t. the dotting of an r. or the changing of punctuation mark in the existing tariff law" says one writer. "The league effects its pur- poses and accomplishes It's object of holding public sentiment by working upon the readers of the country through masterful system of newspaper syn dicates. It boasts that the combined circulation per week of the newspapers using the editorials and other matter sent out by the league was 6,OOO,0OO. Approximately that represents 24,0O0,- 900 readers per week. All this matter lis sent out in stereotyped form and free to the papers desiring to use it. Besides this the league publishes ] weekly paper called the American Economist, which is sent out to all the leading papers of the country and has 8 circulation of more than 14,00O Der week. It voices the most intelligent thought on the tariff question from the standpoint of protection and it's sophis- tries are reproduced as editorials in many of the leading papers of the na- tion. From the above can be gathered an idea of the immense engine used by the protective tariff interests of the country to keep the people fooled and believing that they are getting some benefit from the system of protection. If the people were getting the benefit and not the special interests, does any sane man suppose those interests would contribute s1o0,0oO year to keep up the protection wallT'
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-04-29
USE AS sCAPEGOATs.
How the Blame Was Put On the News
 paper Correspondents.

How the Blame Was Put On the News
 paper Correspondents.
 Representative Sherman of New York. always carrying with him good story, few days ago met some of his newspaper friends in the treasury de- partment, and immediately began to guy them. T see," he said, 'that the war department officers in Yellowstone park have given notice that all news paper men found in the park while the president is+ there will be placed in the army jug and kept there until the president departs. Wouldn't that be great. now to see whole jugful of newspaper correspondents instead of newspaper correspondents full of the contents of a jug and of ideas and facts about the presidents sojourn in the park I declare I don't see what the president is going to do in the park during his visit. I have been there twice-once late in June and once early in September. In June the roads were piled upon each side with snow and the, valleys and canyons were full of it. In September there was a snow storm. So you see Yellowstone is not an inviting place at this time of the year.
 "But. about the newspaper men, they certainly have to bear the troubles and faults of many people. I went to Cali | fornia years ago with the remains of the late lamented Senator Hearst. There was a large congressional dele gation, and the late Senator Vance of North Carolina, was member of the party. The trip had been a long one and to pass away the time some poker games had been indulged in. An inter- l esting game was in progress when the train suddenly came to halt and a delegation of solemn looking Califor- i nians entered the car to pay their re- spects to the lamented dead. They bounced right into the car and right on to the distinguished poker party be- fore any one knew they were entering
 Senator Vance was quick to find the proper thing to say. You gentlemen are looking for the car containing the remains of your great senator? he in- quired in sorrowful tones. The answer was affirmative. Well, walk right back to the second car,' was his ans wer. This is the car of the newspaper correspondence Thus were saved the regulations of the venerable statesmen but the reputa tions of the newspaper fraternity, at least in that neighbor- hood. were ruined forever, or at any 1 rate with those men,