davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-07-04
DIDN'T OBSERVE The SIGN.
Parachute Performer Lands in n
Farmers Pond and Is Called
Down for Et.

Last fall l was billed to appear at a
small country fair" said the para
chute jumper, with an amused smile.
when l cut loose from the big bag
l saw l was directly over a small pond.
paid no attention to it at that time,
for 1t is possible to steer a parachute
more OF less by slightly tipping it.
But this time for some reason or other
the parachute refused to answer, with
the result that L came down in the
middle Of the pond. Just before [
struck | noticed an old man by the
SIDE Of the pond jumping around in
an excited way, and yelling something
to me that | did not catch, for [ was
buslly engaged in wondering how deep
that pond was.
We'll, soon found out, for I went
into the water lerplunk. 1t was over my
head, and while | am a good swimmer,
the parachute fell down upon me, with
the result that l had the struggle of
my life to escape from the situation.
But finally | managed to reach the
edge of the pond, where | fell down
completely exhausted from my effort.
lille | lay there covered with mud
and wondering if l hadn't better give
up the business before [ was killed, /"
continued the balloonist according to
the Detroit Free Press, ''the old man,
who had been yelling at me all the time
l had been struggling in the water,
came up to where 1 lay gasping.
Shaking his fist in my face, he shout
ed:
Col dern yer ugly picture! Didn't
ye see that sign: mo Bathing Allowed
in This Pond?'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-07-04
SOME THOUGHTFUL SUICIDES.
Remarkable Forethought of n Num-
Der of UnfOrtunates on the Eve
of Killing Themselves.

A grocer's assistant who committed
suicide the other day left note in
side the house to say, Il am hanging
outside" The Liverpool Daily Post
gives some other notable instances of
bulls made by intending suicides. An
Irishman who drowned himself left
the message, This is an accident" on
a piece of paper in his hat to spare his
friends feelings, and only this sum-
mer a young gentleman in Shropshire,
before attempting suicide, wrote an
anonymous letter to his mother break
ing the news of the accidental death
of her sOn-which, as a matter of fact.
did not come off.
With similar forethought a provin-
cial bank manager on his deathbed
was said lately to have dictated a tele-
gram to headquarters saying: Great
ly regret to inform you that [ died this
morning of pneumonia.-(Sig pp.
Thomas Brown" An Irishman once
confessed that he had contemplated
suicide by hanging himself on will
low tree overhanging a river near his
potato patch, but had given up the
idea from fear lest the cord should
break and he should be drowned.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-07-04
To Corresp ondents.

Don't write on both sides of your paper
Don't fail to sign your letter. Letters
unsigned will not be published.
Don't write on scraps of paper. Use
a full sheet of paper and begin your lete
tiers two inches from the top. Place the
name of the town at the head of the page.
Spell it out carefully.
Don't fail to have your letter mailed
SO it will reach the Republican office
Thursday. To do this you must know
the time of your mail collection where
you live.
Don't forget that accidents, fires, mar
riages and crop reports are the best kind
Of news and if,Of sufficient Importance
may be enlarged upon.
Don't state personal opinions. The
editor does that.
Don't write on soft paper with hard
pencil SO that the writing is hard to
read by lamplight.
Don't forget if something startling
happens in your neighborhoOd, murder,
railway accident, big burglary or large
fires, to notify the Republican at once
We use that kind of news in our local
columns. If mailed these letters should
be marked Special in the corner of the
envelope
The Republican will furnish all sup
plies on application.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-07-04
NERVOUS DEBILITY,

Vital Weakness and Prostra-
ton from overwork and other
causes. Humphreys Homeo-
pathic Specific No. %, in use
over 40 years, the only success
full remedy. 81 per vial, or spec
ial package for serious cases, So.
Sold by Druggists sent prepaid on receiptof price
Humphreys Med. Co.. William John Stsy NY.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-07-04
Horses Like Perfume

However little credit a horse NAV
commonly receive for possessing deli
cacy of scent, there are some per
fumes grateful to him. Horse train
ers are aware of the fact, and make
use of their knowledge in training
stubborn and apparently intractable
animals. Many trainers have favor
tie perfumes, the composition of
which they keep a secret, and it is
the possession of this means of APP
pealing to the horses aestheticism
that enable so many of them to ac-
complish such wonderful results.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-07-04
DON BE
FOOLED

Advertisements having appeared in
various publications wherein Sears,
Roebuck & Co. offer Wheeler & Wilson
sewing machines, we wish to warn the
public that they are not our author
ICED agents and that we do not sell our
machines to them nor any other cata-
logue house or department store.
Their advertiser ents are not for the
purpose of promoting the sale of our
machines. They are using our reputa-
ton as makers of the highest grade ma
chimes only, In order to get the names of
possible buyers and persuade them to
purchase one of their cheap STENCILED
MACHINES, the manufacturers of
which they are, evidently, ashamed to
make public.
If you want genuine Wheeler &
Wilson machine, do not waste your time
writing to anyone who is unable to fur
nish it. The genuine Wheeler & Will
son machine, made by us and backed by
our warranty, is for sale by our author
lied dealers only. When you buy
Wheeler & Wilson, you get machine
that is machine, backed by areputation
of so years unparalleled success.
Wheeler Z Nilsson Mfg. &c., Chicago. III:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-07-04
= "a s. 70 - -.
Bears the q The Kind YOU Hare A..ssays Raa!
signature s' &xXAAzz1z
HuStiSfOrd.

L. Zurn, the pop man Of Mayyille was
in town Thursday.
Otto Plantz of Juneau visited relatives
here Thursday.
Frank Haywood of Waupun, called on
his customers here Thursday.
Geo. Kellenbenz and wife left for St.
Niazanz Friday, returning Wednesday.
I'll. Pflantz and wife visited relatives
at Milwaukee several days last week.
R. Roll transacted business at Juneau
Friday.
Paul Dornfeid received his lumber for
bowling alley on Friday &xsa
Il Jacob Miller of Mayville, was in town
Saturday.
A. A. Washburn of Horizon, was in
town Saturday.
Annie and Henry Horn and Ed Spren-
ger OF Woodland, visited friends here
Sunday.
Our baseball team crossed bats with
the Lowell team, defeating them by a
score of to s.
Amanda and Lulu Roth visited at
TheO. Roessler's Sunday.
The baseball team had road grader
used on the diamond Sunday morning
Which greatly improved it.
Amos Roll who is working in a May
vile bank spent Saturday and Sunday
at home.
VIM. Neider, Jr., is visiting relatives
at Clintonville.
L. G. Curtis, our popular school teach
er, left for his home in Waupun on
Monday to spend his summer vacation.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-07-04
For Piles.
Sample mailed free.
One application gives relief.

The continued use Of Hum
phreys' Witch Hazel Oil per-
nanently cures Piles or Hem
hOidS-External or Internal,
Blind or Bleeding, Itching or
Burning, FiSsures and FiStulaS.
Relief nnediate-cure certain.
Three Sizes. 25c., soc. aud 800. Sold by
Druggists, sent prepaid on receipt of price.
Humphreys Medicine Co., Cor. William and
john sts., New York.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-07-04
Talk and Print.

English is particularly prolific in
slang, perhaps because it has lost the
capacity to make compounds, says
the London Acadamy. Cast ssur net
in any sea of talk and you will bring
up words that have not yet been
clothed in calf, and, indeed, are
scarcely respectable; but they may
yet found families. It was, we be.
lieve, bus driver who with a side
shout christened the central London
railway as the 'two-penny tube
And now ''the tube" is literary.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-07-04
Economy of RaiIwaxS

The United States has 2Oo,o miles
of railways upon which there are
54o employees for each 100 miles. The
cost of operating these roads with
steam power is $500, SOC, 900 a wear.
but to carry on the same amount of
work with men and horses would
cost the country 81, 30S, 100000.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-07-04

1t takes a woman to cast sleeps
eyes at man across the aisle in a cal
when she seems to be looking out OF
the widow behind her.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

There is no avenue in Washington
which measures adequately up to the
full demands of civic beauty. Wood
ward avenue IN Detroit. Euclid avenue
lanta, Independence avenue in Kansa,
City and Summit avenue in ST. Pau
are all examples Of handsome thor
oughfares, where magnificent private
residences are set In miniature parks
On a larger scale Brookline, near Bos
ton, presents a charming picture d
suburban development along pictur
esque and artistic lines. There Is moth
ing of the kind in Washington.-W Wash
ingtJn Post.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13
POINTED QUESTIONS.
I'ut Yourself I'm the other One's
Place mud Answer.

Place mud Answer.
The great task of sound ethics is II
stimulate the social imagination. We
must be continually prodding our sense
of social consequence 10 keep it wide
awake We must be asking ourselves
Mt each point of contact with the lives
of others such pointed questions as
these:
How would you like to be the tailor
or washerwoman whose bill you have
neglected 10 pay?
How would you like to be the Gus.
toner to whom you are selling these
adulterated or inferior goods
How would you like TO be the in.
vestor in this stock company which you
are promoting with water
How would you like to be the employ.
.er whose time and tools and material
you are wasting at every chance you
get TO loaf and shirk and neglect the
duties you are paid to PERFORM
How would you like to be the clerk
or saleswoman in the store where you
are reaping extra dividends by impos.
'i6 hdiuti 'ohuluohS lildi int eldle u
trade aud the market compel you to
adopt?
How would YOU like to be the stoker
or weaver or mechanic on the wages
you pay and the conditions of labor
you impOse2
How would you like to be the bust
ness rival whom you deprive of his Lit.
tile all by using your greater wealth In
temporary cutthroat competition? -
William De Witt Hyde in Atlantic.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13
More Riots.

Disturbances of strikers are not near
ly as grave as an individual disorder
of the system. Overwork, loss Of
sleep, nervous tension will be followed
by utter collapse, unless reliable
remedy is Immediately employed.
There's nothing so efficient to cure
disorders of the Liver or Kidneys as
Electric Bitters. It's a wonderful
tonic, and effective nervine and the
greatest all-around medicine for run
down systems. 1t dispels Nervous
ness, Rheumatism and Neuralgia and
expels Malaria germs. Only SOC, and
satisfaction guaranteed by NJ. j. Ger
des, Druggist.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13
Tragedy Averted.

Just in the nick OF time our little
boy was saved" writes Mrs. w. Wat
kins Of Pleasant City, Ohio. "Pneu-
monia had played sad havoc with him
and a terrible cough set in besides.
Doctors treated him, but he grew
worse every day. At length we tried
DR.. Kings New Discovery for Con
sumption, and our darling was saved.
He's now sound and we'll" Everybody
ought to know it's the only cure for
Coughs, Colds and all Lung diseases.
Guaranteed by M. J. Gerdes, Druggist.
Price soc and S1.G0. Trial bottles free.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13
An Artists Trials.

Brownly-Dauber certainly has his
own troubles.
Plpder-Why, ] thought he was do.
ing splendidly.
Brownly-iie was until he painted
that last landscape. He painted the
sun in too natural.
Pinder-How could that be-
Brownly-Well, 1t dries up the wa.
ter in the pond SO fast that he has to
paint In new water every two or three
days.-New York Times.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13
Wakeful Children.

For q long time the two-year-old
child OF Mr. p. H. Mcpherson, 80 n.
Tenth St, Harrisburg, Pa, would sleep
but two or three hours in the early
part Of the night, which made it very
hard for the parents. Her mother
concluded that the child had stomach
trouble and gave her half of one of
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver
Tablets, which quieted her stomach
and she slept the whole night through.
Two boxes of these Tablets have effect
ed a permanent cure and she is now
well and strong. For sale by p. G..
Wilder & Go.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13
A MANS NECKTiE.
Bhnt the Manner of lis Arransf~a
ment Tells to One Woman.

ment Tells to One Woman.
81 wouldn't attempt to judge man
by his coat" she said grayely, but
would not hesitate two minutes 10
Judge him by his necktie. 1t is an al
most infallible guide. Of course there
are exceptions, but the character anu
intellect of most men can be told by
the way In which they tie their ties.
Now, take the oyerclever man, for ex-
ample.
1.-THE tie of the genius has afforded
much copy for the pen of the satirist
and the pencil of the earicaturist, but
in reality any little popularity or Lido
syncrasy In dressing is generally the
outward and visible sign of vanity
rather than Of personal untidiness. The
average man, with an ordinary share
of intellect, seldom knows how TO tie
a tie as 1t can be tied and Is tied by
men with no intellect at all. He may
possess a charming selection of the
best ties which Broadway can supply
and does not In the least look eccentric
nay, rather, he often wants To be as
smart in appearance as possible, but
somehow he rarely achieves his object
Directly you see Il really beautifully
tied tie except in the cases of military
men and actors, with whom II Is a
part of the training) which never
moves out of place. following faithfully
the little idiosyncrasies of contempora-
~ dandyism. you may be fairly certain
that you are not face TO face with an
undiscovered Shakespeare or an en-
bryonic Goethe. OF course, in the case
of rich and important parsonage, tie
lesser details of the toilet are usually
left to the valet, but even then | defy
a man of real brains to Keep his tie st
the exact angle for any considerable
time. At dinner you will generally find
that by the time the soup has arrived
the evening tie has shifted its position
or become obliquely set. This could
probably be easily avoided. only it han
pens that the way in which man
wears his tie indicates pretty accurate
ly the wcarer's intellectual apprecia.
ton Of trifles.-Toledo Blade.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

Mineral paint is a good thing, par
tiouiarly for fences, wagons, barns and
machinery. II is made in many colors,
furnished mixed ready for use, and
costs SO per cent less than other paint
Drop into the factory opposite the
Mint and see it made, or call at the
butehershop in the Ormsby block and
talk with w. II. Chedic.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13
READ IT THROUGH.
'Twould Spoil This Story to Tell 1t
in the Headlines.

To use an eighteenth century phrase,
this is an "o'er true tale.n Having
happened in small Virginia town in
the winter Of 1902, it is a story very
mach of the present. Up to a short
time ago Mrs. John E. Harmon, of
Melfa Station, Va, had no personal
knowledge of the rare curative proper
ties of , hamberlain's Cough Remedy.
Last January" she says, "my baby
took dreadful cold and at one time |
feared she would have pneumonia, but
one of my neighbors told me how this
remedy had cured her little boy and |
began giving it to my baby at once
and it soon cured her. heartily thank
the manufacturers Of Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy for placing so great a
cure within my reach. | cannot rec
ommend it too highly or say too much
n its favor hope all who read this
will try it and be canvinced as was"
For sale by P. G. Wilder & Co.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

go the Rev Mr.. Cooley was a fail
ure at that church, eh?'
Eyes, he tried to bring the congre-
cation into harmony with his ideas
instead Of bringing his ideas into har-
mony with the congregation" ~ Elk
q aanop
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

"Getting married" the women say,
"means so much to a girl" intimatil
N a side-swiping sort of way that
doesn't mean more to a man than gel
ting shaved.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13
s'!'ve Lost Ten Pounds %

A man says eLool; at this And b.
ovar-laps his coat to show how loose f
is There are some people who can lose
tat to advantage, but the loss of flesh IS
one of the accepted evidences OF failing
health. As fesh-making processes Lern
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

The many rgu-s on John Bloun.
VII be pleased 10 learn chat he has
entirely recovered from his attack G
rheumatism. Chamberlain's Pain Balm
cured him after the best doctors in th,
town Aonon, Ind. had failed to civ,
relief. The prrmpt relief from pain
which this liniment affords is alon,
worth many times its cost. For sal,
by T. c. Wilder & 20.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

How often you hear it remarked.
cts only cold and a few days late
learn that the man is on his back witt
pneumonia This is of such common
occurrence that a cold, however slight.
should net be disregarded. Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy counteracts an!
tendency toward pneumonia. 1t al
ways cures and ia pleasant to take
Sold by p. c. Wilder & Co.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13
The Wary Purchaser.

Mrs. Youngwed-And what are these
Dealer-Salt mackerel. mum.
Mrs. Y.-Are they quite fresh ?--Cl
'cago News.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

The proper time to marry is whei
you feel ike it and can End girl fool
ish enough to have You.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

it's a bilious attack, take Chan
berlain's Stomach and Liver Tablet
AMI a quick recovery is certain. 70
sale by p. c. Wilder 81 Co.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

This is the best day the world has
ever seen. Tomorrow will be better =
r. A. Campbell.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

Are you a man of family, sir?"
Eyes, sir. My third son-in-law move
in today."-Detroit Free Press.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

When man meets pretty girl e
really wonders if she has been hunting
for him.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

There Is no case on record of a man
having committed a crime with a pipe
on cigar In his mouth.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

Forget things that are not pleasant
to remember There is an art of for
getting as well as Of remembering.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13
Working Overtime,

Eight hour las are ignored by thos.
tireless little " )rkers-Dr. Kings New
Life pills. Millions are always at worl
right and day, curing indigestion
siliousne5s, Constipation, Sick iiea,
lehe and all toma n, Liver and Bow,
troubles. Easy, pleasant, safe, SUI,
Only pc at NJ. J. Gertes' drug store.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

Brick lzilns are now fired with pc
troleum, 100 pounds Of Oil being stuff
Gent TO burn a ton Of brick
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

People never regret missing the op-
portonity for doing good, but how they
hafe to lose the chance OF a little fur
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

After society discards a man he won
der5 how he ever managed to tolerate
il so long.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

81 suppose in the collecting business"
said the inquisitivo man, nearly ev-
cry man you go to see asks you to call
again"
ASK meY replied the collector.
"Some of them dare me. "-Philadelphia
Press.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13
1t Saved His Leg.

p. A. Danforth, OF La Grange, Ca
suffered for six months with frightiuI
running sore on his legi but write
that Bucklen'8 Arnica Salve wholly
cured it in five days. For Ulcers
Wounds, Piles. it's the best salge il
the world. Cure guaranteed. Only
25e. Sold by ~. }. Gerdes, Druggist
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

A first marriage is an experiment
the second an experience-the third a
special dispensatiou of Providence.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13

Subscribe for tn, o uric r.
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-13
80 Savin g's Bank Free

SEND YOUR ADDRESS TO II
) Puffc Newspdp f0"D, M NJ
81. San = di3rjsro, and secUre free
/ beautiful Nickel Savings Park, also
oil particulars regarding the neN
fhree Ii0inHle 1907 I0itt"' urn --
4e'0poo9j. Djfo r., whifh is nov
being furnished to readers of this paper
for only Fine Gents nm
Arizona republican., 1903-05-25
The "Snitch" In Ka,sas City |.

The street railway company of Kan sas City will hereafter do business un- der a charter from the state of New Jersey. This is to enable the company as a non- resident of Missouri, to take advantage of the privilege of appealing to the United States courts when case is brought against it. The president or the company announces that it is prac- tically impossible to get justice In the state courts. because of the ease with which juries are manipulated against corporations. Last year, for illustra- tion, the company was compelled to pay out more than $2eO,0 ,0OO to settle suits for personal damages; and yet. it is assert ed that in but a small proportion of the damage suits had personal injuries been actually sustained.
 The remarkable situation is ascribed to the activity of the "snitch." Kan sas City product. A 'snitch'' is a blackmailing lawyer or a runner and pulier in for lawyers of that class. and the business of the "snitch" is to see every person that falls of street car or gets jolted in any way, and insist upon a suit for damages The "snitch' urges the alleged victim to sue. and offers to take the case on a contingent fee The company IS compelled to pay out money by the tens of thousands to settle these cases. even when it knows that blackmail is the sole motive. But sad experience has shown that it is about a stand-off between settling with the "snitch'' out of court and accepting the verdict of jury in court. If the damage suit is tried. the "snitch" is on hand with band of trained witnesses who swear 70 everything desired against the street car company.
 It is explained that while the juries in the federal courts may be made up of the same grade of citizenship as the juries in the state courts, the verdicts are much more likely to follow the lines of justice, ard 1t is alleged that this is because the federal judges. hold ing their positions for life and being free from all temptation to play the demagogue, are more careful in see ing to it that corporations as we'll as individuals get justice in their courts.