Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-09-22

Tenn, will make his "alfer davy" to
the fast that young mans fancy Is
likely to take such turn at any sea
son Of the year, especially when Mis-
souri, girl Is the magnet which turns
his fancy. Press dispatches from Car
thage, Mo-, announce his engagement
to Miss eibyl Hodges Of that delectable
little city. Brother Patterson is evil
IDENTITY man Of exquisite taste. The
bride elect came very near being one
Of my constituents, her maternal grand
parents having resided within my baili-
wick for years, and her aunt, Mrs.
Robert NJ. White, wife of the celebrat-
cd editor, Colonel Bob White, being
among my most valued constituents.
Colonel Patterson has set good ex-
ample to all bachelor and wtdower
congressman. To all Of them I say,
"Go and do likewise" 1t is a scientific
fact that marriage leads to longevity,
especially marriage with Missouri
woman. There are several eligibles on
the congressional roster-General Har-
~ Bingham and Hon. Robert Adams,
Jr., of Philadelphia, for instance. Mar
rage with Missouri women might
make Democrats Of them and land
them in the senate. A Missouri wife
might land Hon. William Sulzer of
New York in the White House. There
are others who are missing an opportu-
nifty to be happy for life.
Good!
The st. Louis Globe-Democrat talk
arrant nonsense when 1t talks politics.
On most other subjects 1t is sane. 1t is
a pleasure to find in Its editorial col
umns anything commendable. When
thing of that character is discovered 1t
ought to be exploited to the fullest ex-
tent and given wider circulation than
that of the CD. in order to encourage
1t in we'll doing. Discussing the Re-
publican policy Of abandoning the Mis-
souri, river, the CD. says:
It is mistake on the part Of the gov
eminent to abandon the Missouri river
commission. 1t should rather be strength
ened for engineering work. The Missouri
has an important future In irrigation, and
its navtgahle uses are by no means to be
regarded as ended. In building the great
government has aided the craft that resu-
larly navigate the river. Missouri's dele
CATION in congress ought to work together
to induce the government to study the
possibilities OF the broad stream that
winds through SO many states and is
destined to be Of untold advantage to all.
Continuous investigations ought to be car
ried on by engineers under the direction
Of the national authorities until the best
comprehensive plan for Its improvement
II fixed upon. A river OF continental mag
nitude cannot be abandoned as unman-
ageable. What the Missouri river needs
is to be fully and scientifically inter-
prsted.
Important If True.
General Frederick Dent Grant, COM
mander Of the department Of Texas,
has made two discoveries which are
important If true-N that we should
hasten to fortify our Mexican border
because, as he alleges, the Mexicans
are fortifying; ~ that the canteen
ought to be restored to the army as a
temperance measure. This latter sug-
gestion is respectfully referred to the
professional temperance folks with the
statement that General Grant is him
self teetotaler.
| AS to the necessity for fortfying our
Mexican border, that is all moonshine.
We can't have war with Mexico un.
less we are the aggressors, and unless
| we lose our senses we never will have
q war with her II she is fortifyine
against us it is because our newfangled
lingo policy has caused her to fear that
we have sinister designs on her north.
ern states.
A Center Shot.
One Of my constituents, Frank N
Frost, editor of the yandalia Leader
remarks:
Postmaster General Payne is said &c
have informed his friends that he will
1 resign his position as soon as he com.
pletes the investigation into the postal
frauds. Lord. what job he's got!
Losing Great Opportunity.
! The bullheaded course Of Colombo:
promises to lose for her the benefits Of
the greatest opportunity that has eve
knocked impatiently at her doors. Thu
result will probably be that Nicaragu,
will get the canal and leave Colombo.
forever just little to one side of wha
will become the greatest Of martini!
highways. Property, life, traffic ant
trade will mark the terminal points O
this canal. Civilization and progress
both infectious, will 90 with it. Colon
bia, just outside the zone Of its WITTY
ing influence, will continue to sleep II
comparative seclusion from the bus,
world SO near to it. It is stupid foil.
J ~, how ovt