The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-03-30
BRO. GARDENERS LECTURES
He Argues That Riches Are Not
Necessary to Happiness.

dis aavenin' am. Kin we Be Happy
Widout Bein' Rich@ At de fust send
Off. every pusscn in dis large an Gull
tivated audience viii answer in de neg
ative. but let US consider de matter a
little.
None of US cher think of rich man
widout vision risin up befo' US. Dat
vision locates dat rich man in red
velvet cha r- He has fo'teen servants
standin behind him in de dOah to jump
i he sneezes Oar am champagne in
front OF him. bananas on his right
cocoanuts on his left. In a silver plat
ter on his knees am ice cream. sweet
cake, ten-cent cigars an cocktail.
In his breast socket am SO 900 if,
gicenbacks. and each of his feet rests
on bag Of gold. All around him am
i2ht-da-r clocks. and rugs dat cost as
much Is sl2 apiece. He's got three tons
of coal in de cellar an a bar'I O. flour
in de pantry. He hain't got no rent to
pay an he's got bosses and keeridges
in the barn.
IF he wants to walk cut. de street
kyars VIII be keerful how dey bounce
MIN ober fence. an if he STAYS home
dozen newspaper men viii call to
tel him dat he owns de airth.
Dat S de vision dat allus dances befo'
our eyes when we read of a millyon-
alre, an we hold our breath till we get
req IN de FACE Madness an envy an
Jealousy comes along wild de vision an
&c rust thing we know we am iawin'
dc ole woman an kickin' de family
daWg We kin almost taste dat charn-
pagne an hear de chink Of dat gold. Ia
de midst of de vision de ole woman
glneralty breaks in to tell us dat de
coal am out or de flour bar'l am empty.
am We get uo an cuss de rich an de-
car DAT de world am all wrong.
My rens. let US make no mistake.
hDed longside of a rich man fur
years an years, an I had 0DDortl1u1rv
10 see de odder side NO man cher eits
70 be wuth millyon dollars dat his
e ,l.,i, doan begin next day No man
WIN come to you or me to try to sell
us Windmills, lghtin' rods an patent
churns but de way dey do track up de
front steps Of de MILLIONAIRE am awful
to see.
Hes GOT TO git his ha'r cut de fust
thing an shave once q dav an If his
boots amt BACKED or his necktie gifts
around under his left ear dars thou
sand people to notice IT,
Aou an me know dat two-shillin'
suspenders hold UP our trousers as well
as a par'r 'cOstin IS De millionaire
knows Il too. but he's got to pay out
500 extra cause he's In de swim
In our vision we seen him seated in
a req velvet chair. It don't fit his back
nor give him de comfort of an ole
fashioned splint-bOttOm, but he's got to
grin an bear it cause he's rich
In al de vars dat 7 knowed a rich
man sunthin was allus happenin' 10
him While 7 was gwine on foot his
bosses run away an broke his leg
,
his steam pipes busted and killed his
cook While my cabin was TOO small
game fur thunderstOrms, Hghtin' struck
his palatial mansion an knocked all de
chimneys off While me an de ole wo-
man was grubbin' along by ourselves.
he had to have sixteen of his relations
ina his house. My dawg wasn't with Is
cents but he lived on His dawg was
wuth $3.50, an somebody pizened him
within two weeks
"Bein' I was only Brudder Gardner
no one 'spected anything of me but dat
rich man had to rent a Dostoffice box,
church pew, buy a steam yacht an
carry around a S. umbrella an worry
ober it.
lie nebber had no show 20 eat on
ions, make molasses candy nor popcorn
He nebber slid down hill, went rabbit
huntin nor drank cider out of jug
II he cher sot down OF an Gavin wild
his butes OF an a feelin' dat he want
ed to take comfort his wife dragged
him off to de theater or man called
to sell him a gold mine
Ny frens what dye 'sposs was de end
Of dat man. He used to come ober TO my
cabin an eat billed dinner wild me an
weep cause he was rich. He wanted 70
be pore an wear Old clothes an eat eorned
beef but alas. he couldn't be He had TO
he rich an eat fried oysters an drink
champagne an pretend to be happy.
What was his end2 Why he went
down an down till he reached a. limit at
last Dat limit was reached when he mad
roses to decorate de house De next mawn-
in dey found him dead in his bed an lie
lock on his face proved dat he was glad
to nit ont of it an.
Don't you make no mistake. my frans-
We was put into dis world to take COM
fort Natrr achber intended man to sot
up like crOwbar She uebber meant dat
he must be on his good behavior all de
time. She invented sweet cake an charu-
payne but she also invented barley coffee
am baked taters.
sin imaeinashun kin see a pictur Its
cf pore man gwine home Of Saturday
Right wild his wages in his noCkef He
stops at de grocery an orders goldfish am
sugar. He stops at de cObhler an takes
home his chiI ems shoes an mended mp. He
orders kerosene lie and soap for cber sun
day. ar be knows dars butter an fl7ur
in de house
'He gits home to be greeted at le gate
by fo' ehilIen an a dawg. He opens de
door TO receive de smiles Of his wife. lie