The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-06-14
BECOMING AIN IMMORTAL
HOW ADMISSION TO THE FRENCH
ACADEMY Is SECURED.
Candidates Sing Their Own Praises
and Solicit VOtes-M. ROstands
Record of His Life.

ed to the Academy in 1901, entered the
charmed circles of the 'immortals" for the
first time to-day, succeeding CASTOR Paris,
tal-that-was-"a dead one" the jar
gon of the boulevard press.
Not because l like the author of Cyrano
de Bergerac and his inhnitesimal art less.
but because / love New York with her
glib talk of an American academy more.
hied myself to the famous Edmond's apart
ments, % Rue de Neuville. and asked him
how he came by that honor. and what spe-
cial stunts he had to perform ere he donned
the two-cornered hat, plum-colored coat
and little toy sword of the kind our Berlin
and st. Petersburg ambassadors love so
well.
In the first place." he said, tugging at
his much-pictured collar and tie, some
body had to bite the dust. CASTOR, politest
of men. performed that service for me,
even before 1 had time to thank him."
1.-THE immortal is dead, long live the i'm
mortal" 1 cried, enthusiastically.
After the manner of Alphonse. Edmond
bowed three times and continued: Then
had to write my application"
Application for what?'
For the vacant seat in the Academy, Of
course. 1 covered forty-eight pages of fools
cap in my own hand from beginning to
end. for. you know. there were twenty
other candidates
"Forty-eight pages? The magazines
would have paid you a pot of money for
that, but what was it all about?'
"All about Edmond Rostand. of course.
You see, when a man wishes to become an
academician, his first duty Is to assume
that his oolleagues-to-be are q parcel of
COMPOUNDED donkeys. While every Paris
schoolgirl knows whom 1 am, and knows
my principal works by NAME at least, the
most sublime literary institute of France
has official information regarding the
author of Cyrano de Bergerac or his career
in the realms of letters. the stage and art
A RECORD OF HIS LIFE.
"A candidates application must contain
a record OF his life and that of his ances-
tors for three generations back; 1t must
give resume of all his worthy deeds. lit
erary, scientific and private. I actually
had to search my memory for charitable
deeds and the like, that may, or may not
have been guilty Of in the several years of
my conscious existence. Then 1 had to
pirate about my successes and seek excuses
for my fixtures, likewise analyze each of
the characters and situations 1 ever intro
duced to the public gaze and endow them
with lofty, moral and noble purposes. All,
had TO sing my praises like cheap actor
petitioning for a transforming engagement
1t was awful, but had to be done"
Have the French no equivalent for the
saying, 'Self-praise gives out a bad odor?' -
Rostand looked surprised and hurt Not
that l know Of he replied; lat any rate,
our greatest men had to indulge in the sort
of autobiography described ere they
reached the top-gallant of fame-a seat in
the academy
WAS there anything else you had to DOR
81 had to don evening dress. white tie
and gloves at high noon and call success
lively upon all living immortals, soliciting
their patronage and vote. 1t was almost
as hard as blowing ones own horn on
forty-eight pages Of foolscap. Allow me
to draw a veil over those visits" said the
author.
Feeling pity for Edmond l did not press
him, but imagine what it means to a real
poet or a successful one at least, humbly
TO crave the good graces of such nobodies
or mediocrities as Sorel, Harve. Thureau,
Meziere and the rest. Yes, these are "im-
mortals," even though Paris itself does
not know their names!
AT least twenty-five of the thirty-eight
academicians ole the present day are abso-
lutte nonentities, with regulations as slen-
der threads, thin as laths. Yet such
men hold the balance of power in the realms
of letters, science and art here, and can.
and do, compel genius to forge its way into
their followed circle by systematic lick
splitting and favor-seeking. For that rea-
son the much-talked-of American Acad-
envy. after the pattern of the French,
would be an impossibility on its face. The
picture Of Mr.. Howells, or Mark Twain,
soliciting the patronage OF some Jim
Dumps in reporters alley will never be
caught by the camera.
VAINGLORIOUS FRENCHMEN.
In France. however, such and similar
spectacles are not rare by any means. AS
already stated the number of candidates
for the two vacant seats exceeds twenty,
all of whom are busily engaged petition
ing Ministers of State. learned institutions.
politicians-and pretty women-to intercede
in their behalf. Indeed, of all the great
men Of France, Daudet was the only one
during the past hundred years to balk at
and refuse the kind of immortality offered
He refused not once, but half dozen
times; as often oftener as the late Emile
lola sought that dignity.
Brave and serious man that he was. lola
suffered humiliation and disappointments
without number in trying to add the word
IL Immortel" to his signature. just as
most Of his countrymen are prepared to
spend oceans of time and a considerable
part of their fortunes for permission TO
place the red ribbon in their buttonhole.
To make fun of the academy is the
fashion among the younger literati only.
and II cleverly performed and kept I'D. the
result is sometimes most gratifying There
was Anstole France, for instance For
tens Of years he hammered away at the i'm
mortals until. one fine day. his name was
gazetted as one OF them.
The new member showed me his uniform
a swallow-tailed coat with beautiful green
embroidery, gold laced and plumed, two
cornered hat. satin knickerbockers, white
silk stockings. pumps. and a sword with
real steel blade.
Pretty expensive toys" / queried.
These are not cheap" confessed Ed
mond, ''but as you know. we receive a
salary of 1900 francs per annum; that paws
for our clothes as well as for gloves and
neckties Besides. one of us is entitled to
live in that most beautiful of lordIy castles.
Chantilly, as conservator Of the Due d'Au-