Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-10-01
= 5%'..>>1 ASHES


err.
Boys, don't you know It's wicked to
fight? Now, If l were you I'd kiss and
make up" Say. wot do yous tink dis
is-a woman's lub?"-Life.
"What Is the matter with Bills?"
"Worrylng over business affairs" II
didn't know he had any business"
THAT'S it. He hasn't" -Indianapolis
News.
Il don't want to know how to make
money so farther" he insisted. "Why
not?" Just because l personally find
it too far off as it s."-Philadelphia
North American.
Sharpe-Why, yes, 1 was at church
last Sunday. Kloseman-Were you.
really? Strange l didn't see you.
Sharpe-Oh, not at all l took up the
ollection.-Phlladelph Press
"Matrimony." unused the elderly
that case" replied the younger woman
promptly, II would like to have TO-
nance spoiled. "-Chicago Post.
"Lemme once git my han on de
chicken, wild straight road befo' me-"
says a Georgia darby, zen I'll settle dc
race problem so quick it'll make yo'
head swim."-Atlanta Constitution.
Johnny-Grandpa. have you any
teeth? Grandpa-No, my child they
have all gone. Johnny-Then | think
I'll let you hold my nuts while | run
an errand.-Glasgow Evening Times.
How in the world did you happen
to buy three boxes Of blackberries?'
woman asked her husband. who had
been doing the mark citing. "Three for
quarter" the man CAPITALIZATION
Globe.
Nifkins-That scoundrel Jobson
callad me an idiot! Bifkins-He didn't
prove it, did he? Mifkins-No but
Bifklns-1hcn I'd advise you to let the
matter drop, or he mght.-Chicago
Daily News.
$50 you're learning to play chess"
said Maud. Eyes" answered Mamie.
1.-The moves must be very difficult"
moving. It's the keeping STILL
Washington Star.
He xplains.-Summer Boarder-I
thought your advertisement said some
thing about boating? Farmer-Oh, yes.
We have boat and oars-only some
times the darned creek dries UP
Town and Country.
/ Bachelor don't understand why
he wants to marry her. Why. she
hasn't any mind at all. Henpeck-So
much the better. Then she can't be
changing it every hour or so.-Phila-
delpha Public Ledger.
I'm told the climate here has great
health giving properties said the WIS.,
itor. What do you attribute it TOT"
"Well," replied the proprietor Of the
| health resort, 81 guess it's because I've
advertised it so ell."-Philadelphi
Press.
| Didn't Pan Out.-Miss Towney Qn
search of the idyllic. at last meets a
real live shepherd,vPray tell me, gen
tie shepherd, where is thy pipe? The
! Gentle Shepherd left it at Dome,
mum. cause l amt got no 'baccy.-
Tit-Bits.
| Summer Naturalization are you
going to spend the summer? Tom-I'm
going to spend it travelling from one
seaside place to another until find
girl worth a million or two who
wants to be loved and married for her
self alonc.-Tit-Bts
Nov, boys" said the Sunday School
| teacher "can any of you name the
three great feasts of the Jews"
"Yes'm, l cam" replied one little fell
low. Very well, Johnny, what are
they?" "Breakfast dinner and sup
per- was the unconsciously logical re-
ply.
"Ah wish de mudders OBJ dis congre-
CATION would bring deyr babies to
church wifi dem. Nevah mind how
young dey am, jess bring 'em erlong.
If dey am too young to appreciate de
significance OBJ de service, dey can, at
least. yell an keep de deacons awaken
Puck.
Aunte 0inding Jackie sobbing in a
corner)-Why, Jackie, what has hap
pened to make you feel 50 badly this
morning. Jackie-M-ma Missed
some jelly. Auntie-IIo, no. | see.
And her suspicious fell upon you, Ell?
Jacllie-No, auntie; it was her slipper.
The Boston Courier.
How long has this affair been build
! ingf' asked the American tourist. as
! he looked at Cologne Cathedral.
about five hundred years" answered
the guide. give hundred years, Why.
in Chicago we could put up building
like that and have 1t all to pieces, all
within five years. '-London Tit-Bits.
It's funny our minister never gets
married. remarked the young hus-
band, who had just refused his wife a
bonnet. in his endeavor to change the
subject. Il think he'd make a coed
husband" "Well." replied the wife,
warmly, "he didn't seem to make
very good one when he married U.S.
Tit-Bts.
| Head Floor Walker (severely)-I
| =. Id, 4, al 4 ~, I