davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07

"Cobbler. What does dot poetry refer
to-" asks dot mar after a little while.
ut vhas to you"
"Do you know dot l hat signs und
sorrows und heartaches?"
81 do, but dey vhas all gone AWAY
in two or three months more, und-
und'-
"Und What"
"Vhell. you shall marry again und be
HANDY. Of course. Sooch a man like you
can't stay single und mourn around"
.How mooch vhas dot patch?' he
asks.
"Feefteen cent"
II shall pay you thirty und bring
YOU in some shoes to be fixed oop. Yes,
perhaps it vhas my duty to get oafer
my grief und sorrow. und look around
a little, but l shall see about it. Mean
while you needn't say nottings to no.
pody dot you make me some poetry"
Dot day more ash ten peoples come
in to be customers und get some Sher-
man poetry, und dot night when Mr..
Voglestein comes back una l tells him
how she vhas he stands o0p und says:
"Dere once vhas a cobbler named Blank,
Who cobbled AWAY at a plank;
No customers came.
Nit expenses der same.
Und he had no money in bank.
Zone day when dis cobbler vhas sad
Pecause Of his peesness 80 bad.
He turned into a poet,
Und der vhay he did so 1t
Makes all Of his friends mighty glad
NJ. QUAD.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07
DER GERMAN
COBBLER
He Hangs Out q Sign and Becomes
D Real Poet.

Copyright. 1eo'. by c. B. Lewis.l
aWWANS." says Mr., Voglestein ash
- be colsiu TO see me der
odder day uind Cont find me
~ nit no werk on hand. you
vhas some schackass."
what for" l asks.
because you don't make yourself
some peesness. Do you pellet I would
sit here like some bumps on a log if I
vhas a cobbler? Not mooch! I hat ten
customers pefore noon tomorrow"
would you drag 'em in NIT a roper
"Of course not. You come out in der
back yard NIT me while we drink der
GROWER und I make it plain to you"
Dot night put a sign in my window.
She reads:
Some poetry made oop for all Gus
toners while he waits, by der Sherman
poet"
At 8 O'Clock in der morning a woman
comes in nit two shoes to be patched.
und pooty soon she says to me:
eff I know you vhas q Sherman poet
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07
For Over Sixty Years.

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup
has been in use for over sixty years
by millions of mothers for their chill
dren while teething, with perfect
success. It soothes the child, softens
the gums, allsys all pain, cures wind
collie, and is the best remedy for
Diarrhoea. It will relieve the poor
little sufferer Immediately. Sold by
Druggist in every part Of the world.
twenty-five cents a bottle. Be sure
to ask for Mrs. "Winslow's Soothing
Syrup" and take no other kind. tt
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07
His bargain at the Altar.

It was his wedding day. Radiant in
the newest Of outfits, he started for the
church with his best man. But his
tight shoes hurt his pet corn. and It
looked as though he would have to hob
BILE up the aisle. The best man came to
the rescue By escorting him to a nearby
shoe store, where a larger pair was
bought.
When the happy bride and groom
knelt at the altar rails a general litter
passed through the assemblage. for on
each Of the soles Of the new boots,
turned up to view, was inscribed:
Reduced to $3.9s."-New York Press.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07
Eucoulaging Him.

Borus-The scene Of my latest story,
you observe, IS laid in an old mill. A
good place-ha, ha!-for grinding out.
Naggus-Yes, but you might have
made a more effective use Of the -four
than you did.
Borus-Of the -four? How?
Naggus-In thickening your plot a
l~ittle.-Chicago Tribune.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07
Captain Kidd-s Mistake.

Captain Kidd looked angry.
"And to think" he muttered, that
I've spent all these years pacing a
quarter deck when ! could have won
the money with a poker deck more
easily"
Perceiving that he was a back num-
Der old pirate. he sorrowfully consign-
ed his treasure to it's grave.-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07

The reason some women's hair
changes to white so suddenly is that
it has been that way a long time,
only nobody else vas allowed to
know it.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07
Making 1t Easy.

"All here?" asked the host.
II believe So" replied his wife.
every WE'LL" he said. Then, turning
to the entertainer he had engaged for
the evening: Hurry up and be funny,
now. We're waiting to laugh."-Chi-
cago Post.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07
You Know What You Are
Takinp

When you take Groves Tasteless
Chill Tonic because the formula is
plainly printed on every bottle show
ing that it is simply Iron and Quinine
in a tasteless form, No Cure, No Pay.
SOC.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07
Just Like Real Lovers.

Miss Romanz-Of course you've read
that new love story Of his?
Mr.. Crabbe (revie" er)-Yes; I had to.
Very realistic, wasn't it?
Miss Romanz-Oh, the idea! Why, the
dialogue between the lovers was per-
fectly silly.
Mr.. Crabbe - Well?- Philadelphia
Press.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07

TO resist or throw off other diseases.
Men and ONE who are sick are In
vited to consult DR.. Pierce, by letter, free,
aud so obtain without charge the opinion
Of a specialist on their ailments. All cor
respondence strictly confidential. Ad-
dress DR.. R. v. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
~For the past two years 1 have been a very
sick woman" writes Mrs. Chesley. Of IoS Wood
land Ave-, Cleveland. Ohio. Al tried medicines
from doctors and to no avail. At last I decided
to try Dr.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery.
When I started I was all rundown and had a
very unpleasant taste In my mouth. Was
choked up, and at times K was very hard for me
70 breathe. I had severe headaches and cutting
pains in my knee joint. Was 50 weak I eoald
not attend 70 my work nor walk up OF down
stairs without the assistance Of my brother or
some friend. I am now taking the fourth bottle,
and I'M happy to say I feel lihe myself again
I can go up and down stairs and perform my
duties as well as any one. Everything seems to
be brighter, snd I can assure you that lie -
worth living"
Accept no substitute for Golden Med
ical Discovery" There is nothing just
as good for dyspepsia or debility.
Biliousness is cured by the use OF Dr..
Ferce's Pleasant Pellets.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07
TO Cure q Cold in One Day

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine
Tablets. ALI druggists refund the
money if it fails to cure. E. W.
Groves signature is on each box Csc.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07

Elsie Millyuns-But, count, do you
really love me?
Count-Ah, mees. I could not lofe you
more if you were twenty times richer!
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-10-07
THE CAMEL'S HEAD.

vWhere the cancels head goes his
body follows" says an Oriental proverb:
It's the same way with disease. A small
opening will give it an entrance and
when disease once has a place IN the
body a large number Of ills MAY follow it.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
PROTESTANT MISSIONS.
Statistics Show Them to Be in a Pros
perous Condition.


The American Board of Commission
ers for Foreign Missions has made pub
lie summary of Protestant foreign
missions In most of the items there Is
shown to be an advance over the re-
ports of the preceding year The in
come of societies in the United States
and Great Britain alone show an in
crease of over 81 100000 The statistics
are as follows
Stations. 5,771; out-stations. 22.364;
total missionaries, 1G.61S native work
ers. 75.2Sl; communicates in churches.
] 1,397,O ,O42; pupils under instruction. L.
1877. S5S. The total native constituency
is 3613.39l
The United States is represented by
G,S9l; stations and out-stations. 1917;
men. 2,63S women: 2O.9O1 native labor
ers 5O6,600 communicates, 43.723 add
I'd last year. 259537 under instruction.
The income of the societies reported is
s7.176 Sg5.
The missionary work in the Hawai-
ian islands having been assumed by
the churches at the islands. that mis-
sion disappears this year from the rolls
But that TO the Philippines has been
nddeh, so that the number of missions
Is still twenty.
In the Chinese missions of the Amer
lean board there are more church mem
bers by SS5 than before the Boxer out
break. while the native laborers have
increased nearly threc-fuld.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

In every country of the civilized world
Sisters of Charity are known. Not only
do they minister to the spiritual and intel
lectual needs of the charges committed to
their care. but they also minister to their
bodily needs.
With so many children to take care OF
and to protect from climate and disease.
these wise and prudent Sisters have found
Peruns a never failing safeguard.
DIR. Hartman receives many letters from
Catholic Sisters from all over the United
States. A recommend recently received
from a Catholic institution in Detroit.
Mich. reads as follows:
Dr. S. B Hartman. Columbus, Ohio:
Dear SiE-"The young girl who used
the Peruna was sufferinX from Laryngi-
It's, and loss of voice. Tho result of
the treatment was most satisfactory.
She found great relief and after
further use Of the medicine we hope to
be able to say she is entirely cured -
Sisters of Charity.
The young girl was under the care of the
Sisters of Charity and used Peruna for
catarrh of the throat with good results as
the above letter testifes.
Send to the Peruna Medicine Co. CO.
lumbus, Ohio. for free book written by
DR.. Hartman.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
MIR. Growers Case.

Frcderika, Ia, Dec. 2S.-Mr. A. s.
Grover is now a years of age. For the
last 80 years he has suffered a great
deal of sickness and although he is a
temperate man and never used spir-
ITS Of any kind, his kidneys had trou-
bled him very much. He said:
''I was told had Diabetes and my
symptoms corresponded exactly to
those Of a young man who died of Dia-
bctes in this neighborhood. My feet
and limbs were bloated quite little.
Il heard of Dodd's Kidney Pills and
at last determined TO try them. | took
In all ten boxes before ! was well and
now can truthfnlly say that | am all
right. The bloating is gone from my
feet and legs. have gained eight
pounds in weight and can sleep well at
night and every symptom of my trou-
ble Is gone.
1T is some time now since was
cured ana | have not the slightest
return Of any symptom of the old
trouble
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
Hard to Get Work.

Booker T. Washington. in a speech
in New York City before the colored
branch of the Y. NJ. c. A.. declared
the real problem for the colored par
ent in the North is not that of getting
his son and daughted educated. but of
finding a Job for them after they re.
ceived their diploma.
IF white boy gets a place in an
Office and does his duty, he is assured
of advancement" said the speaker,
but the black boy has got to work
twice as hard to get there. Any man,
black or white, who has learned to do
better than his fellows, has
solved his problem.
in some parts of the country | fear
We are getting the reputation of being
willing to part with our votes for a
price. We should let the world under
stand that the individual who offers
to buy our votes insults the manhood
of the race"
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
|HlJRaGDH2
|OF THE nAN|
What Would Be Left.

A school inspector was examining Il
class in country school As an
arithmetic test he put the following
question to one of the classes:
''If | had a miDce pie and should give
two-fifths to John, twoffths to
Isaac, two-twelfths to Harry, and
should take one-half of the pie for my
self. what would there he Left"
There was a profound study among
the boys. but finally one lad held up
his hand.
well. my boy. speak mp lomd. so
that all may hear" said the inspector,
The plate" shouted the hopeful
young fellow-Pearson' Weekly.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

To the housewife who has not yet
become acquainted with the new
things of everyday use in the market
and who is reasonably satisfied with
the old we would suggest that trial
of Defiance Cold Water Starch be
made at once. Not alone because II
is guaranteed by the manufacturers
to be superior to any other brand.
but because each 10c package con
tains 16 ozs.. while all the other kinds
contain but IL ozs. 1t is safe to say
that the lady who once uses Defiance
Starch will use no other. Quality
and quantity must win.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
His Eaux Pas

They were uttering the tender non
sense that succeeds the great qucs-
ton.
'AnL." said the girl bravely. "if
poverty comes, we will face it to-
cether"
"Ah, dearest" he replied, the mere
sight of Jour face would scare the wolf
away"
And tvar since he has wondered why
she returned the ring.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Their f. more Citarrh IN this section of thc couiry
than nI other disease. put together, ana until tbs
last tcN year, supposed to ne Incur tile For u
great ny years doctors pronounced IL local dis
and presc lbed IOc u remedies, aud y constantly
failing 10 with local ire nrnt, pronounced t
incuTahle. Science hls proven catarrh TO be n N
.'ttutioual aul therefore requires constltu-
tipnnl atment Hare Tlrrrh ne, manufactured
by T. y. cheney CO. T1ledI, ohio, II the uuly CON
stutlonAl the market Its tn cu internally
In doses f,Om ~ drups 10 tctspIOufu IL n"ts d.
r-rtly on the hood and Icuu1 surforcs Of the
systefu, They offer huuiTc dollars tor any
It fails cur. send for circuas and t'-tn"uit-,
Address !. j. CHENEY a co. Toledo. o.
sold hy Dfu sG,ists s5'.
IIail's Family PMS are the best.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
4 rielu for Investigation.

Yes. oar oldest son is of very in
curing disposition. He delights in
investigating things and is always
digging and pryins in places where
there's chance of upturning some
thing surprising"
II haven't noticed it"
Haven't you? Well, You just watch
him at the table and you'll see that he
always calls for mince pie"
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
Don't Rent a Earm-euy!

Colorado farmers can get good irri-
gated land. best Of water rights. splen-
did crops, and pay about the usual
rental for the use of the land. In three
years thcy'll own it clear The best
chance to get good farm ever offered
in the state. Write to-day to The
Colorado Bureau of immigration. Ieph
Chas. Felt. president. Majestic build
ing. Denver. Colorado
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
Her Friendly Service.

Ncll-You and Jack Sterling seem tc
be quite chummy these days.
Believes; Jacks a good fellow
He's going to marry May Simpson in {
month o- so.
Nell | knew they were engaged
but thought she was growing cold.
Bellc-Oh, she's warming up now
I've been giving her the impression
lately that wanted him.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Gentlemen: Il
have used several
bottles of Peruna
and feel greatly
benefited there
by from my ca
tarrh of the head.
and feel encour-
aged to believe
it's con-
tinued use will
fully eradicate a
disease of thirty
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

years standing. David Meekison.
DR.. Hartman, one of the best known
physicians and surgeons in the United
States, was the first man to formulate
Peruna 1t was through his genius and
perseverance that it was introduced to tho
medical profession of this country.
If you do not derive prompt and salts
factory results from the use of Peruna.
write at once to DR.. Hartman. giving q
full statement of your case and he will be
pleased to give you his valuable advice
gratis.
Address DR.. Hartman. President OF The
Hartman Sanitarium. Columbus. o.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
a Mean Character.

Crowell-Hes about the meanest
white man | ever met.
Ilowell-At any rate. he's success
full He has taken advantage of his
OPP ortunites.
Growell-His opportunities were
small. no doubt; another proof of his
meanness.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
Hot Air Fan.

An electric fan that heats the air
current LEat it delivers has been de.
vised by NJ. de Mare, a Belgian elec-
trician. The apparatus consists of an
electric motor and a rotating fan. the
blades of which are of mica. Upon
these mica blades are fastened resis.
tance-coils, which are hea.ed by the
passage through them of a current OF
electricity.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
The Doctors Orders.

Dedolia-Phat are yez doin' takin
rhe lock off the cupboard dure. Pat?
Are yez chrazy?
Pat-No. darlint; tn dochtor tould
me to-day thot | must quit boltin' me
sood-and I'm going to obey insthruc'
tions,
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Philanthrupic Callcr-U Uncle. have
you lived in this little cabin all your
life? Uncle Erh Deed. no. boss
Isc honin' T. li9e hya. coed many mo
ycahs yit.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
Mother Gray. swee. Powders for children.

Successfully used by Mother Gray, nurse
In the Children's Home in New York. cure
Constipation, Fcverishness. Bad stomach,
Teething Disorders, move and regulate the
Bowels and Destroy Worms. Over 80 .OOOtes-
timonials At all Druggists. BIC. sample
EREE. Address A. 5. OlmsteT, LeRoy N. Y.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
AanniIY Married.

when may woman be said to be
cappily married."
Not until she has lad the pleasure
II refusing several men.'-Detroit
Free Press.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
A Rare Good Ihina.

"Am using ALIENS FOOTEASE, and
can truly say would not have been without
it so long, had known the relief 1t would
give my aching feet. think it rare good
thing for anyone having sore or tired feet
Mrs Matilda IIoltwert, Providence, X. l.
Sold by all Druggists, 25c. Ask oGay.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
Somewhat Different.

Wildtr-Poor outlook. Brokeum. The
doctor says you'll never live to see
30.
Brok aum-Oh, knew that long ago
WilGer-Why, don't you expect tc
reach two score and ten?
Brokeum-Oh, | thought he meant
Id never live to see $50.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
Reversed.

THE average man out of work al.
ocys declares he would have been all
right if he had only had a good show in
the last place
Unless he's an actor; then his cry
is If he had only had a good place
in the last show Philadelphia
Press.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
Love Is Blind.

Whats thet? cant get no
ran? Why, HI Morton Jest begged me
t marry him when he wus over last
week.
Slump, | allus did hear as how
bcggars was POOR choosers.-New York
Sun.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
How, Indeed 2

It's n wonder that stock hasn't talk.
en- a tumble" said the first speculat,
or, IT'S going up steadily, although
believe it's ,tull of water
Bar remarked the other. how
can 1t % full of water if there isn't
a drop in it?"-Philadelphi Press.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

81 am surprised to hear that your
horse is to he sold; thought you were
uuch attached to him" Yes: but the
sheriff also has an attachment for
him"
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Jack Scryy-Tm going to kiss YOU when
leave this house Tonight MAY kut"IS
i. ..aye thu, house this instant. sir!
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

No more does idle fancy beg
a goose that Laws an egg of gold,
The hen that laid common egg
Each day would bring us wealth untold.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

No chrornos or cheap premiums,
but a better quality and one-third
more of Defiance Sta ch for the same
price OF other starches.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

II YOU have smoked Eullhcnd scent
cigar you know how good they are. II
you have not. better try one.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Tie secret Of the popularity Of BaN' er's
"BuIhead" scent cigar is revealed In one
word-"Quallty."
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

The miIdcst tobacco that grows Is used
In the makeup Of BaXtrr's Bullhcad j.
cent cigar. Try one and see.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Although tomorrow may never come,
the morning after the night before invn-
riably arrives.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Wise is the man who is able To keep
his mouth shut when he has nothing TO
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

a smile OF satisfaction goes with one OF
1 HnNlnr.s "Rnllhrnd. l-o.nt CiEnrs.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Health has been defined as some
thing than God Cives and the doctors
take ava.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Hes the lucklest man l ever
knew He's won two rafflcs.' ASK
him hC :. mar" he lost"
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

When YOU attcmpt to strike match In
end.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

What tempted v"u to engage in such
"A dangerous business rs count"rf"itinEE
u wanted To make money
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Plsos Cure cannot be too highly spoken OF ns
o courh curc.-J. W. OBREa, %: Third Ave,
NJ, Minneapolis, MINI, Jan. q, 1900
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

omelettes at this season are very eggs
ICusiVc.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Superior quality and extra quantity
must win. This is why Defiance
Starch is taking the place of all
Others.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

It's tough turkey that's able to hold
over FOR another term
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Perfectly simple and simply perfect
&c dyeing with PUTNAM FADELESS
DYES.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

a good two-fo"t rulo-Don't wear tight
shoes
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Hushand-'Huw much will that new
hat Cost2" Wifg-"How much have you
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

IHndIadv- Mr. Old Boarder will YOU re-
turn thanks? Boarder-Nu. thanks.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

You can't discourage the prohibition
movement bv throwing cold water on IT,
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

To Cure n Cold in One day.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tab cts. All
druggists refund moneyif it fails to cure. BIC
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

The race is not always to the man VIII,
has his money down on "a straight tip.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

at heats all how good cigar you can
buy for cents " YOU buy the right
Iiand. Try "a "Bulhead."
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

A man who Is looking for trouble can
usually nnd II without trouble.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Smoke Bnxtcr's '.Eumcad'' 5-cont cigar.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Mrs. wInsIow's Soothing Syrup.
For children tCcthing softens the gums re- einces In
la!umatUn, allays pain wind collie DC abotte
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

The New York Central is advertis-
irg New York as a winter resort, and
calling attention to the fact that New
York has more theatrical and musical
attractions than any other city in the
world, and gives list of a few of the
principal actors now on the stage or
to be seen in its A playhouses this
winter. This list includes:
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

VIM INC GUITAR. Mandoilns, Ete. Export
VtoItNS Repairing and Strings L. Ru-tiT
onberg n Co.. ss lith 81. Denver. catslos tree
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

In addition to the above attrac tons.
grand opera, under the direction Of MIR.
Heinrich Conrird, will be given during
the winter at the Metropolitan Opera
House. and will include some Of the great
Wagner operas and for the first time In
be light opera under the direction Of
Victor Herbert. with hundreds Of con-
nous artists.
Incidentally, attention is called to
TIE fact that the New York Central
Lines offer the finest service between
the West and New York with their
trains a day from Chicago. 3 from
ST. Louis. from Cincinnati and Il
from Buffalo. landing people in the
center of IT, hotel, theatre and resi-
dence portion of the metropolis.
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
Denver Directory

STOVE EtpAiHs Of e'e,y hnovn ass, nHn ~
PULLEN. 1881 AWhEhCE 81. Denver. Phone 7is
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30

Henry Irving
Richard Mansfield
Mrs. Leslie Carter
Rose Coghlan
Maude Adams
Blanche Bat ties
Francis Wilson
T.. II. Sothern
John Drew
Maxine Elliott
Tyrone Power
Charlotte Weihc
Ed ward Iiarrigan
Margaret Dale
Nesta rilley
f;lita Proctor Otis
WIN. Gillette
The Lamar register., 1903-12-30
Oxford Hotel. :,

Denver. on Hiuck from Union Depot. Pre- proof
e. II. MORSE. Mgr.