The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-11-23
BROTHER GARDNER.
He Gives Some More Good Advice to
CoIored Men.

My friend, I has knowed pussons in
my time who wasn't satisfied wild a big
crop of beans an taters, but had to turn
back to things a thousand years old an
dispute an argefy. 1 want to say a few
words to yo. an want 'em to sink
seben feet deep into yo'r soM.
Mebbe yo' has bin postin' up on Noah
an his Ark, fur instance. fur de last
foty years an yet yo' don't know any
mo- dan when yo'm sot out. Yo' has
simply found out dat a puSSon named
Noah built a big fiatboat an dun called
it an Ark: dat he got it finished jess
befo' it started to rain fur fo'ty days an
foty nights; dat he took in birds an
beasts an f1oated aroun'. an dat de
Ark finally rested on top of a mountain.
Yo' has got dat much outer de Bible.
An yit my friend. yo' has bin set
tim yorself up as authority on de biz
ness, an bekase Brudder So-and-So
wouldn't low dat 'DoSsuTns was Token
into de Ark along wild odder birds an
beasts yo' have hauled off an hit him
on de chin fur a fule.
Some pussons let all de rest of de BIZ
BILE slide an bank on Noah alone. Yo'
may be one of SIGH. If so You run along
fur ten or fifteen years, bluffin' some
body most cherry day, but about de time
yO' git to feelin' dat yo' own most of de
Garden of Eden yo'n run UP agin a
darkey from Kentucky an he'll likely
bust yo'r twenty-six ribs in befo' he
stops Dustin.
My advice to xo' am to let right up
on Noah. an to let dat Ark go fioatin'
right outer yo'r mind. It don't make
de least bit o difference to yo whed-
der Noah took along de Possum or dun
forgot him in favor of de woodchuck-
He may have left de watermillyon out
an taken along de squash, but l don t
see how yo' am goin' to prove or dis
prove it. De fact stares us in de face
today dat we's got boat de 'possum an
de watermillyon, an what's de use of
argefyin'?
I dun believe dar' was a pusson named
Noah, an a flood an an Ark. but /
don't go whoopin round about it in de
daytime, nor rousin' my nayburs up a
midnight to gin em pinters. 1t was all
right fur Noah to build dat Ark. an
what's de use of gittin' excited about it?
He dun got de animals in de best way
he could an if he made any mistakes
we hain't no right to kick about it at
dis late day. De man who has got to
git up an argy ment bout sunthin' 5000
years ole to show off his smartness must
be purity hard pushed fur material.
My friend, yo' jess keep dat ole black
wife O yo'rs in kaliker gowns, an dem
sepeh leSIie meyers III meat al! eotcl .
an YOU be doin' tolerably we'll fur one
man. lie got nayburs who cum ober
to my cabin an declar' dat Adam was
cross-eyed an Eve red-headed. lie got
'em who stick up fur Cain an say dat
Abel whacked him fust an whacked
him hard. lie got 'em who want to bet
a mewl again my dawg dat Dan'l wasn't
histed into de lions den, an dat Sam
son couldn't lift $50 pounds o. sand to
save his neck. Does all SIGH talk affect
de undersign? Not on yo'r life.
When folks cum to me an want to
talk bout Biblical matters I let 'em
talk away an keep right on Goblin de
ole woman's shoes jess de same. I
ginerally keep some sassparilly tonic
steepin' on de stove, an while dey am
doubtin' dat de whale swallered joiner
I'm tastin' dat decockshun to see if it's