Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1903-05-09

Inc DocK-Deer sign, tnal 1no1SpenS4r
BILE authority, admonishes us that
spring is here. Synonymous with the
picture of the goat rampant upon q
pony-keg, the rural editor notes face
tiously that Spring has sprung. gem
tie Annie!" Now that she has indeed
sprung, let us consider her!
First, let us bewarei She is a
tickle jade. To-day she may shed her
effulgent balm upon us, regale us
with her sunny showers, her odorous
wore our red flannels and perspiredi
Once upon a time Aristotle permitted
his confidence to find Judgment in
Springs voluptuous bosomi One rosy
morning when all nature was in tune
and the earth seemed STEPPED in hon.
esty of purpose, he saw a sparrow flyi
High aloft in the ethereal azure his
eye followed her Highland the sun
shonei Straightway Aristotle went
to his wife and demanded his gauze
underwear-"the ones with the ribs
in EN-" After hunting through elev-
en- bureau drawers, seven trunks and
an acre of band-boxes, she found the
anatomy covers in the escritoire
drawer in the guests chamber.
Careless woman" cried Aristotle,
sit is a wonder they were not stolen
long agoi"
Then he took them ungratefuIly
and undressed, to find, upon trial.
that the summer things needed the
same sort of repairs so common to
cane furniture While he stood
around on one leg grumbling, the
good woman revamped them, as
it were. Then Aristotle dressed and,
throwing on some new spring rags"
went out on the parked boulevard,
into the carolling world, as happy as
a box-elder bug on chintz curtain
in the front parlor. But that night
he came back as bumped as a porcu-
pine in action. His nose was red,
sappy and pinched; there were goose
pimples on him as big as the proven
bal hen s-egg hailstOnes. His voice
sounded like a horse-fiddle at cha
rivari party and his teeth ratified like
a pair of bones in negro minstrelsy.
The women folks put him to bed and
the next day he wrote:
Zone swallow does not make spring,
nor yet one fine day!"
To this day the above is quoted
frequently. Thus we see the inf1u-
ence of gauze underwear on succeed
ing generations!
Ever and anon some one exclaims,
.'See the young man! This is his
day and age!" So were the day and
age of yesterday his. He was full of
ginger then as he is percolated with
hop tonic now. Roosevelt is young,
to be sure, but over a century ago
Charles James Fox was still calling
his progenitor papa" when he be
came Lord of the English Admiralty.
He was then but twenty years old.
William Pitt was scarcely old enough
to go out nights alone when he be-
came Premier of England. Prince
Edward was at the feminine sweet
sixteen when he fought the battle OF
Crecy, and at twenty-four he led the
English army to victory. This is the
age to-day when a young man is leav-
ing school to take a position as bill
ing clerk in a large sixteen-story
building. And Mozart-at the age of
sixteen was director of the Arch
bishop of Salzburg's orchestra.
Where is there a president to-day at
eighteen? And yet, David, the shep-
herd boy, was king at that Adde'S
cent period in his life. Raphael, Cor
CSZ, dliiCh I1Shiy, 4~dpOiSOu, <AlSAoh-
der, Keats, Burns and Byron were
mere beginners at manhood when
they reached the pinnacles of their
fame. The young man of to-day
must not be allowed to think he is
any smarter or brighter or better
than the young man of yesterday.
Self-assumption and self-esteem are
often bad for him. 1t is well to call
his attention to the truth now and
then. 1t keeps his ego down.
When little Prince George OF
Wales was baptized recently, he
scratched and howled like a somnam-
bulistic Thomas cat in a midnight af-
fray. This leads a paragrapher to
remark that royalty, like whiskers.
has to grow on some people. To our
mind the whooping of little George
is not much of an augury. When at
his age we were all more or less like
the house feline-opposed to water.
Even to this day some enjoy miners
ing in water about as much as others
enjoy poor Thealth.''e-~ 49,
Mercy. Don't think we deprecate
bathing. Far from it We take q
bath oursef occasionally, but we cam
not say that we rip-roaringly enjoy
that plunge except during the heated
weather. When we arise in the
morning we are not titillated over
the thoughts of our ablutions. We
do not laugh, "Ha! Ha" when we see
the bath tub for the first time that