The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1903-06-10


Uncle Jonah was the only sailor in
our family, and that was one too many,
Undeterred by his Christian name, he
ran away from home in boyhood and
began his notorious marine career MS
q stowaway in an Australian clipper.
I can understand that the family life
must have Jared upon him, for my
grandfather was Methodist preacher
OF the narrowest type, and Uncle
Jonahs boyhood was soured by a sur
felt of chapel going and long family
prayers.
For 20 years or so Uncle Jonah held
no communication with his bereaved
family, who alluded to him as "a lost
vessel" and regarded his probable de-
cease with equanimity. Then he re-
appeared, with rings in his ears and a
a roll of banknotes in his pocket, and
his early follies were condoned. I'm
like most sailors, Uncle Jonah had de-
veloped thrifty habits. For the first
week or two his reputation as a man
of substance enabled him to sponge"
upon the frequenters of tue village inn (:
but after that people began to resent
his stinginess, and the hospitable
stream Of free drinks ceased to flow;
thereupon Uncle Jonah went no more
to the Goat and Compasses, and began
to tire of pastoral life. Soon he went
afloat again, securing the command of
q tramp steamer bound for the Gold
coast with a cargo of square gin and
condemned rifles
bade him farewell in the South
ampton docks one bleak evening in
February. His parting words aston
ished me.
James, my lad" he said boastful-
Iy. 'I'm going to make my fortune this
voyage, and II ever come back I'll
make a gentleman of you"
The doubtful prospect of becoming
a gentleman without Individual exer-
tion did not lure me into idle habits.
There was the chance, too, that Uncle
Jonah might be drowned | pursued
my vocation Gas We pressmen phrase
ft) until l rose to the position of re-
porter on the Daily Scum.
. Years passed. but no tidings Of Un-
Gle Jonah ever reached me, until one
day, in the ordinary course of busi-
ness, | was sent to Bow street police
court to write up a case of piracy on
the high seas that promised to afford
good copy. The intelligent reader will
have guessed that the accused person
proved to be my Uncle Jonah; but
need hardly say that was wholly un-
prepared to find relative in the dock.
My professional zeal enabled me to
stifle any emotion that might have in
terfered with the business In hand.
II a man possesses the true journalistic
instinct he is capable of writing de-
scriptive article on the vivisection of
his own father, and will take pride in
the task.
I recognized Uncle Jonah directly
he stepped into the dock. He had aged
. little, for his black beard was
streaked with gray and his keen, fer
rety face had grown haggard; bat he
did not appear to be greatly cast down
by his misfortunes. To say that he
bore himself with dignity Il took the
liberty of saying this in my reporD
would be inaccurate. Uncle Jonah
never had any dignity, being one of
those familiar, vulgar persons in
whose company even the dignity of
others withers like leaf in autumn.
His shifty eyes explored the dingy
court and rested for a moment on the
reporters table. He recognized me and
Tinked.
The evidence taken that morning
was purely formal, and, pending the
attendance of some important wit
nesses. the prisoner was remanded in
custody. foresaw that the coming
trial would be made to excite excep.
tional interest, cases of piracy being
comparatively rare. was eager to
secure the first interview" with Un-
Gle Jonah, and to this end played the
useful card of our relationship for all
1t was worth. The inspector of po-
lice, after pocketing a sovereign, con.
fessed himself unwilling to'resist the
appeals cf the prisoners beloved
nephew. was permitted to spend halt
IN hour in the cell, on condition that
I made no professional use of the in
ferview. The exigencies of journal
ism Obliged me to pledge my word
TO the inspector, though foresaw the
impossibility of keeping my promise
And this is the story Of bafiied pira
cy as told by my Uncle Jonah. / re-
late 1t as nearly as possible in his
own words, emitting his lurid mari
time explicatives:
elm these days Of keen competition
said Uncle Jonah. ITS no sort OF good
my lad, trying to run pirate craft on
old fashioned lines. A hundred years
ago. or maybe, fifty. one could afford
% ship strong crew and give the mer
. fair percentage of the profits; but
nowadays there's the stokers and en-
gineers to settle with, the coal bill'i
something awful. and you must employ