Waterbury Democrat., 1903-01-30
Their Hired
 Burglar
6G ITS preposterous!"
By D. F. MAGUIRE.


 Sa ITS preposterous!"
 \ 'Idiotic!"
 ''Asinine!'
 ''But it's fact, nevertheless" add ed the first speaker.
 So it was. There had been an epl- de1nic of petty burglaries in the town of Benton during the late fall. The ar ticless sstolen were of trihing value, never money, usually food taken from barns and hensheds; but the constant fear of possible midnight awaken1ngs put the good people of the town into state bordering upon panic.
 The unknown thief might grow more ambitious and more daring. He might invade their very houses. Whose house would he first select as the object of his unwelcome attentions?
 The burglar, or burglars-whoever they were-evident were not profes- sionals; at least up to the present they had not ventured after bigger game. Nevertheless the uncertainty of the thing made the nervous more nervous and intr oducedsth hitherto uninitiated into the knowledge that they possessed nerves after all.
 The board of selectmen, three worthy citizens, feeling the popular pulse, and realizing that election day would come in few months, determined to take active steps to ferret out the despoil- CT of the towns barns and hen roosts.
 The step, which, after mature delib- eration, the selectmen decided to take, was not as result of a unanimous vote of the triumvirate. Selectman Dorcas had raised "a dissenting voice, accom- panying it by sarcastic allusion as to the sanity of his colleagues.
 MT. Dorcas kept general store. Among host of other things he sold revolvers and ammunition, the sale of which during the past two months had wonderfully increased; so that it is barely possible that he was giving thought or two to his own interests. as well as to those of the town of Ben- ton.
 The motion of Selectman North was:
 MT. Chairman, as the burglar we are all so interested in catching seems, from evidence that has laid before our eyes-m1ne, at any rate-to be we'll acquainted with the barns and hen roosts of the town, and appears, there fore, to be a resident, move that we order all residents of the town-men, women and children-to prove where they were between the hours of ten and 12 o'clock last Tuesday night, at which time, as we all know, occurred the last, or rather the latest, of these pestiferous burglaries."
 Almost out of breath, MT. North had sat down, to give place to MT. Dor- ras, who had jumped to his feet and east a glance of whitening scorn up- on ais colleague. But MT. Swain, the chairman, cast the deciding vote, and tho resolution was carried.
 As might be expected, the result of the special meeting of the board of selectmen was not received with unanimous favor by the people of Benton.
 The town was not very large, but it was large enough (what town lsn't?) to contain more than one esti- mable citizen who, for good and sufi- cient reasons, did not care to have his fellow townsnen-to say nothing of his wife-know where he had spent certain hour of certain night, and what he had been engaged in.
 Of course, those fortunate citizens who chanced to have nothing to con- zeal did not see anything very pre- posterous, idiotic or asinine in the latest exhibition of acumen on the, part of their chosen lawmakers.
 Deacon Thomas Snow, however, N&s not one of these; neither was his brother-in-law, Zenas White, nor Amos Bristow. When Snow declared that the selectmen had acted in q prepostercus manner his opinion was echoed, through the medium of vary, ing epithets, by White and Bristow.
 "Can we," demanded Snow, en- plasizing the pronoun, "afford-''
 "Dare," interpolated White. F'--dare to admit where we were and what we did last Tuesday night?''
 The others groaned, and White said:
 "What would folks say?"
 s'What indeed!"
 'eLet me thin. the thing out" said Snow.
 Nobody objected, so Snow thought:
 "I don't believe such monstrous order can be carried out; the people will rebel"
 eve shall, at any rate," said White.
 'sIf we do," put in Bristow, "our wives and others, for that very reason. will be more eager to find out what l the aathoritiesco confound lem! want to know than those idiots themselves" "
 Right" agreed his companions, Eoberly and laconically. "I have n plan by which we may be able to get out of this scrape," said l Snow
 ! What is it ?''
 A4s .Age must find. thes burglar. Once