Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-02-21
the sign, p. !. Morgan, Busters and

N&thAeAAAR1 AAaEN AtAAAR 60 "a EDAlE
or and bought without orders.
Suddenly the customers noticed stocks
were rapidly going down. The type
writer girl looked into the inner Office
and announced sat the old man was
asleep He was awakened and gave
orders for stocks TO be put up. A rou-
lette wheel which had been rugged
against a side Of the room was whirled
BY u Of the clerks, and stocks jumped
twenty points. After stocks had gone
up to q p%rodigious height one of the
customers advanced to the front and
entertained the audience with the fol.
lowing song to the air of "Mr. Dooley -
There Is a man who's known TO all, a man
OF great renown,
n man whose lame is on the lips of every
one IN town.
You read about him every day, his name
you've heard. no doubt,
And If ne even sneezes they will get an
extra out.
For Mr.. Morgan, Mr.. Morgan,
The greatest man tho country ever
knew.
Quite diplomatic an democratic,
Is Mr.. Morgan-organ-organ-o-o-o.
lie MADE q million uDlldfS III every KIM
Of trust.
He took his friends along with him; the
others had to bust.
But when he tackled Teddy he ran up
against a job;
He bought his railroads In a bunch. he
lid, so help me Bob!
Now Mr.. Morgan turned a trick. twas
hardly on the square;
He cornered Roosevelt's favorite game,
including "coons'' and bear.
THE president may bust my truss; I'll
have to bow to fate"
But when 1t comes to hunting he will
have to arbitrate.
When congress makes Its little law, no
trusts will be alive,
For coal IL be twenty cents a ton. steel
rails be twenty-five;
With the water squeezed from all the
stocks. with forests full Of bear,
The millennium VIII be at hand. and all the
people swear
BY Mr., Morgan, etc.
The conversation of the crowd in Mr..
Morgan's Office was interesting.
SAY" said one, Il got a bully tip
last night"
'Who gave it to your"
"Chauncey Depew."
Don't play it." warned another mem
Der. "for If it was worth anything
Chauncey wouldn't have given it
away"
Then this dialogue occurred:
"The thing that worries the old man
Is what we had better do about a pres
ident of the board of aldermen"
No; president of the United States"
ooh. l thought it was something i'm
portant."
well it is important, If the old man
is anxious about it."
The scene ended with the appearance
Of the club member im~personating Het-
~ Green. who was in a state Of mind
over a cent which she had lost the day
before.
There were many other features, In
GLIDING the appearance of one of the
club members disguised as q lump of
coal. He was surrounded by a chorus.
who sang appropriate music as, for
Instance:
President Morgan played the organ,
John Mitchell played the drum,
The railroad played the same old game.
And the price was twelve per ton, per ton,
And the price was twelve per ton.
The union of the Lilly Whites and
BLACK and Tans'' was effected by the
initiation into the club of J. X. Oil of
Atlanta and J. p. Miller of Baltimore.
the two baby members" of the club.
While quietly eating their dinner these
men were set upon by a mob Of angry
northern and southern editors, carry
ing ropes and uttering the widest
threats of torture and banging. The
offending members were dragged to
the enter of the room and charged
with being carpetbaggers who We're
trying TO direct southern affairs. They
were known as ~. Clarkson Obi, lead
err of the Lily Whites" and -.
Prltchard Miller. leader of the Black
and Tans.'" \ sheriff rescued the
men from the mob after Colonel Hen
~ Watterson and Mr.. Clark Howell,
mpersonated by leading members OF
the club, had advocated heir death by
incendiury speeches. By giving the
Gridlron club as surety they were re
leased on the promise to go linked
through life with "a colored brother.
Much TO the surprise of Secretary
Cortelyou. who was O. OF the guests,
his weH known colorcd messenger. Ar.
thur simmons. appeared, and 10 him
the baby members Of the club were
bound by broad SIR ribbons Of black
rud white. the club colors. The presi
dent Of the club then announced that
,laces lad been prepared 20 the table
Tor the club mem0egs. hut that their
companions would have 10 be cared for
/ on the other side OF Lafayette square,
go the White House.
When the dinner was concluded. Mr.
Morgsn expressed himself as very
much plea sed with the Entertainment
and Cor 4 long time listened to stories
~ good things that had been done AT
previous dinners he wiz possibly be
a frequent guest ga the future.
odd Plated A. For OmeeseekerH.
President Roosevelt is 50 pleased