davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31

this time he'd got the, irons unlocked
and was at liberty 10 go on deck My
aunt?' l kept repeating to myself, as l
walked aft toward the quarter deck.
How in goodness name did she find our
where ! was?' But sure enough there
the dear old lady was waiting tor me
in the waist of the ship. When She
caught sight of me she came running
up and, throwing her arms round me.
she burst into tears. oh. Edward she
cried, my poor, dear Nellie's child, how
could you run away and leave US alp
l didn't say anything. though; /
couldn't; there was such a big lump in
my throat But now you're comm right
home with me- she said, and stay with
ne and not run away any more to sea.
I've got your discharge in my pocket
And so she had. the dear old soul. Shed
beeH down to Washington and seen the
Secretary herself, and got him to order
nay discharge. You ought TO have seen
the executives face when he saw that
paFe-. He wanted to hold me for court
martial, but the Old Man-that's the
caP'n-ordered my discharge made out
and half an hour later, after bidding
gccd-by 10 the boys and dividing $50
among EN- for Aunt Jenny, ] was ridin'
W town in a cab as proud as lord
and Aunt Jenny was sitting there hold
ing my hand and half crying for Joy
anc telling me how glad she was she'd
found me at last. That's the kind OF an
aunt she is And this is the way l re
pay her. Don't it make you sick? II
does me-
Il See" said Haswell. after pause
And Aunt Jenny sent you here TO
school, I suppose?"
you've guessed II"
'I wish I could brace up" began
shorty" after long pause I'D give
my head TO please Aunt Jenny. but every
time try to"
Suddenly the door was thrown open
and a cadet aide appeared on the TIRES
hold.
$50 you're loafng again. are you, In
study hour, Carson?" cried the official
spy. II guess you'll amuse yourself
walking guard next Saturday afternoon,
young man You seem 10 like it,"
There, didn't tell you 1t wasn't any
use?' said shorty" when the intruder
had withdrawn. Nobody believes in my
good intentions, SO I nights well oe
killed for a sheep as a lamb
w. w WHITELOCK.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31

fun TO be locked up, is it?'' said Has
we'll. with an involuntary thrill of re-
spect for hts friends superior expo
rience in life.
mo. it amt admitted the former
sailor Still, you get used TO it, like
eel when she skinned him. shouidn t
mind for myself, but I'd hate to get
fired on Aunt Jenny's account.
Aunt Jenny-yhy, who's she?"
she's my mothers sister. She's all
right, done everything in the world TO
give me a chance. And if I wasn't such
a thankless dog I'd appreciate it and
make her happy by shown it,.
Yes continued Shorty, bitterly
Aunt Jenny's just about as fine as you
make 'em, and I'm no good. I know II.
I guess you never felt so ashamed Of
yourself you didn't know where TO hide
your head. did you?''
We'll, | don't know" replied Henry
1--WE felt pretty small sometimes"
oh don't mean small mean so
COMPOUNDED little that you can't find
yourself with a magnifying glass. That
the way I felt when Aunt Jenny come
aboard ship with the order for my dis
charge from the navy You ask me
Il was ever locked up. Well. ] was
IN irons that day.
what for?" asked Henry, breath
lessly.
well, il was this way You see, I'd
been at sea three years at that time,
ever since my mother died. Couldn
stand II at home with pas second wife.
So ran away and shipped with q sail
ing vessel. I was aboard her ten months
and then I jumped ship in China. That
captain was the old boy himself, and
don't you make any mistake about it,
Ny real reason for skipping, though,
was because he knocked me down for
not understanding an order. I grabbed
a marlin spike and gave him such a
whack over the head as he's not likely
10 forget in a hurry. Then ] sauntered
down the gangplank as dignifed as you
please, exchanged nay trousers and
Jumper at a second hand clothes dealer s
and wen. aboard one OF our warships
lynn in the harbor and enlisted for four
years It's dead easy getting into the
navy; the difficulty is in getting out.
How did you get out. then?' asked
Henri.
How did I get out? Why. Aunt Jenny
got ne out. II was this way. You see
after we'd been cruisir~ round for two
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31

them No one is allowed to buy more
than one envelope
All the envelopes are kept sealed un ii
the last one has been sold, and then are
opened. when the reading of the for
feits will be sure TO make a good deal
OF amusement
At the end OF the sale the forfeits are
to be paid in the order of the numbers
on the envelopes.
Here are a few suggestions for for
feits;
Yawn until you make some one else
yawn.
Kiss your image in the looking glass.
Recite one stanZa Of Mary I'D q
Little Lamb backward.
Put a lighted candle on the mantle
piece. stand with your back to it, then
close your eyes, walk FIVE steps away
from the mantelpiece, turn around, Walk
back to the candle and blow tt out.
Guess blindfolded who gives you &
spoonful OF water.
Crow like a rooster.
Sing a song playing the guitar IN
dumb show as an Accompaniment.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31
Selling Forfeits.

This is a game with lots of fun in It.
The leader should be good talker, and
not one easily embarrassed, for he has to
act as auctioneer, and can add much to
the interest of the game by his manner
of conducting the sale.
The forfeits consist of orders to do
certain absurd or ludicrous things, and
these orders should be prepared in ad-
vance, as many as there are players
They are written on slips of paper, and
the slips are put into envelopes, which
are then sealed and numbered, from one
up. No one must see the forfeits or
orders but the person who writes them
this work would naturally fall to the
leader.
The players take seats in circle, or
a semicircle, and the leader stands in the
center, with the envelopes in his hand.
He then offers them for sale. saying that
they contain something Of great valuei
Each PLAYER is supposed to have 500
at his command for buying, and as the
leader offers the envelopes, one at a
time. they bid against each other FOR
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31

years-Japan, Australia, India. Egypt
Greece, Italy, and all over the blooming
show. we came back to America to go
out of commission. That is, the ship
was going out of commission, but the
rest of US was going 70 the receiving
ship, the old Wabash. up in Boston har-
Dor. 1t was while we were getting the
ship ready to go out of commission that
the little trouble 1 spoke of occurred.
Our regular executive officer had been
transferred to shore duty, and the acting
executive was down on me, SO he hustled
me into the brig and clapped the irons
on me. There wasn't any use of maxim
row about it. so there I sat chewin'
my cud and wishing I'd chose another
day to get locked up when there wasn't
duff for dinner. Suddenly. though. In
rushed Jimmy Legs. crying out
Jimmy Legs'-who's he?" interrupt
ed Henry.
''Oh. the master at arms. Who'd you
think he was? The President of the
United States? Well, in he comes, cry
in, Get up out of this! Your aunts
aboard. askin' for you! Lay aft!' By
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31
CADET STORlES---ROOMMATES.

Shorty" said Hasweil to his room
mate one night during the study hour,
why in the name of goodness don't you
turn over new leaf and behave your
self?'
We'll, I'll tell you, 1 can't. I've got
the dickens in me and it's got to come
out. Otherwise I'd have Indigestion"
Henry laughed.
We'll, l guess there's some truth in
what you say, Shorty. Still. some day
you're going to get into serious trouble.
The Jugs empty at present, 1 under
stand"
Indeed When are you going to
move ing''
II M not thinking about myself" said
Henry, laughing. II was wondering
about you. Have you ever been in a
dungeon, Shortly"
Rather You know We call it the
brig aboard ship. The first voyage I
made they wanted to make me cook,
and when l refused they put me in irons
for week. I didn't cook, just the
samee, though
u shouldn't think it would be much
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31
q

There had always been the keenest
rivalry between the Brook King and tie
Pond King, and when the former heard
that the latter was about to give
dinner on the very same night as that
for which he had already sent out IN
vitations he was so excited ana angry
that the very brook in which he had
made his home swelled with rage. SO
that the people living along It's banks
marveled and said. one to another, that
there must have been terrible storm
in the mountains the night before, the
brook was so swollen.
The Brook King, having sent out his
invitations first, felt justly that his din
ner party should have the precedence;
but alas! the home of the Pond King
was SO much more spacious, and the
subjects whose duty it was to fulfill his
orders so much more numerous that all
the appointments of his banquets could
not fail to be as they should be. while
as for the quarters Of the Brook King,
cramped as they were between two
banks. decorate and beautify hem as n:
might, il could not be denid nat they
were small And then, most important
of all, he was giving the dinner prin-
cipally in the hope of pleasing par
ticuIarIy lovely little naiad who had
long since won his heart by her beauty
and grace, and now he could not doubt
that she would go to the dinner which
promised TO be the finer of the Two.
The poor little Brook King thought
it all over until even the cooling waters
of the brook could not keep his head
from aching, and he finally wrote let
ter to the Pond King telling him how
matters stood and begging him to de-
fer his dinner This missive he sent
by a minnow. who was to wait for an
answer He was not kept waiting long.
for the Pond King at once wrote a
note in which he declared that he was
truly sorry things had happened rs they
had, but as by the greatest exerticns
he had made the pond lilies, which weT e
to be his sole decoration. promise u
be IN bloom during the dinner. he could
not possibly change the date
The Brook King was in despair. He
was positive that II the two dinners
were given on the same night his would
be a complete failure. And suddenly
as he was brooding over his troubles, q
wicked thought came into his head-if
His dinner was not to be a success, why
cCuid he not do something to prevent
the one given by the Pond King from
Icing success? This idea was NJ
sooner thought of than he took the first
steDs to put it into execution. He re-
aembered that lilies were to be the only
decorations for the other dinner, and
he made up his mind that these lilies
should be spoiled. II would be an easy
thing to do, and there was little danger
that he would be suspected. Calling IN
two turtles who We're swimming past,
HI ordered them to go to certain Sc
cret creyice aI.ong the stones which
lined the bottom Of the brock, pick out
from among his collection OF drugs a
certain phial which contained pecu-
lia5Iy disagreeable odor. and then ON
the day of the dinners proceed TO the
kcme of the Pond King and sprinkle
some of its contents on each of the
lilies, thus making them smell so badly
that no one could bear to remain near
them.
The turtles did as the Brook King
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31

which. as he advanced into the pond.
came to the Brook Kings nostrils2 He
recognized II as one OF the rarest and
most costly scents which he had had
among his collection of drugs. and at
once he realized the mistake which had
been made, and he set his teeth firmly
together and inwardly vowed vengeance
upon the two turtles who had so care
lessly fulfilled his orders when he should
again come across them.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31

naiad at last gave her promise to marry
the Brook King, for he had long since
declared his passion to her; and at their
wedding, which took place year or SO
later, the happy Brook Kings whole
palace was fragrant with pond lilies. for
ever after the famous dinner given by
the Pond King those flowers retained
the delicious fragrance which we still
find in them today.
FLORENCE A. EVANS.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31

distances from one another, and see that
the teeth of the forks are in contact
with the rim, to prevent them from
swaying.
With a little care this plate can now
be balanced on the point of q needle
whose eye has been buried in the cork
of an upright bottle. BY giving IL a
gentle rotary motion the plate may be
made to spin around, which it will do
for quite long time.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31

was dog who learned to dance
And wear a hat like the King of
France.
He wore q cape and collar. find,
But yet his tail stuck out behind.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31

O's the old dog 1 met today,
Who had to wear glasses to see his
way.
He looked as sad and he walked as slow
AS very old man I used to know.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31

Gs the good dog that Mistress Meggs
Sent to the grocer to buy her some eggs.
When he found they were bad he threw
them away,
And went back for others. the grocery
men say.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-31
Trick With a Plate.

Here is q way to balance china plate
on the point of a needle, and even &c
cause it to spin steadily upon this deli
cate support: Cut two corks down the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-08-25
pEArn OF LORD SALISBURY.

r ORD SALISBURY'S death removes
i the last OF the great statesmen OF
the Victorian period. the last of the
men whose memory viii be linked with
the names of Disraeli, of Gladstone. OF
Bismarck and their contemporaries.
As the head of the house Of Cecil, he
represented all that is best in the aris-
tocracy of England. With him the
wealth and station to which he fell
heir brought obligations TO his country
commensurate with his station A tory
OF the tories, he was trained in the
Beaconsfeld school, partook Of the
glory his chief won at the Berlin con-
ference and followed in his footsteps
throughout his career.
For decades Lord Salisbury was
GIadstone's opponent, now as govern
ment leader and then in the opposition.
Where Gladstone fought for the rights
Of the common people. for extension Of
the franchise, for the palliation of Ire
lands trouble. Salisbury led the landed
interests and the Jingoes in the battle
for conservation Of the old regime, for
the retention Of Ireland as a discon-
tented province and for the preserva-
ton OF aristocratic rights.
In foreign affairs ne was for the Dis
raeli policy of vigorous extension of
British dominion, although he was
averse at times TO the conflicts which
were an inevitable corollary of the pol
lev he followed. In his declining years
the Boer war was result of his ad-
ministration, though it may be doubted
whether ne approved without reserve
Of Mr. Chamberlain administration or
South African affairs.
Indeed, the last few years of Sails
bury's public life were marked by an
indifference. an apathy in crises, nota-
bly i'm the China affair. which was in
strong contrast to the vigor of his
youthful days. When the Boer war
had reached its conclusion he was
ready to retire, loved by his friends,
respected by his opponents. fun OF
years honorably spent in the service
of his sovereign and having achieved
the summit of human ambition as the
virtual ruler Of a great realm.
A new school Of politicians has come
20 the fore, a school of the practical
sort. unknown I'm Salisbury's day. A
Cecil is stin premier. but he is of the
new type. and his right-hand man is
Cham berlain, who stands for all that
is modern, unsentimental and worldly
wise in craftsmanship. The era OF mag
nidcent oratory. of courtly diplomacy
of q patriotism that amounted 10 re-
ligion. has passed away with Salisbury
This is the day of Chamberlain, or
commercialism. OF battles by tariff, o.
international intrigue in pounds, shill-
ings and pence 1T will be many a Ions
year before another Salisbury shall
arise, IL ever.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-08-25
WIEN DOCS LEE END7

A WRITER i'm the New York Medical
y Record OF recent cate discusses the
question. "The Rupture of the ADJUST
uent Of Internal to External Rela-
tons" Put more plainly. what is a
correct definition of death and when
may It be said that death has
occurred? The writer says that
ne once had patient who sud
denly became unconscious and ceased
even the slightest attempts at
respiration. For five hours, un-
der artificial respiration, the heart
continued to beat. At the end Of that
period the artificial respiration was
discontinued and the patient was pro-
nounced dead.
Was she dead throughout the five
hours OF artificial respiration? 1t is
difficult to say whether she was or not,
although she was, to all practical in
tents. dead the moment she ceased her
attempts at respiration, regardless OF
the fact that her heart continued beat
ing. The only possible advantage to
be derived from solution of the prob
lem would arise through the necessity
for determining whether this patient
outlived another from whom property
would be inherited. or something OF
that sort.
The Medical Record man proceeds to
giye a definition Of death. He says:
"Phe possibility Of the continuance
Of "Iife" then depends upon the abil-
ity Of the chemical compounds which
collectively and at any given momenO
we term "the body" to give rise to
another similar collection which shall
be able inter Sc to maintain similar
adjustment or internal relations TO ex-
tcrnal relations. Conversely. when the
formation of such derivative collec-
ton is no longer possible. death en-
sues. Less abstractly put. death" is
the name we give 70 the inability az
the organs to act together with the
harmony which characterizes life" "
The rupture OF the vital harmony does
not, however preclude a certain
amount Of activity Of individual or
sans.
Thus. perfused with blood. or other
suitable fluids, the heart may con
tnue 10 beat, the liver to secrete, etc,
although the individual is dead" This
mode Of viewing the question seems to
be the only philosophical one. For just
as there is no possibility Of assigning
a moment at which, I'm development,
the physicochemical forces pass over
into the vital" so here there is no
possibility OF saying when the "vitaP'
forces pass over into the physicochemi-
cal. All We can do is TO set an arbi-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-08-25
TYPHolD EEvER PREVENTION.

NINETEEN new cases of typhoid fe-
~ yer were reported to the healtr
department last week and rigid in
vesugation is in order for the purpose
of determining the origin Of the disease
in this city. 1t is certain that the gem
eral water supply is pure, since analy-
sis shows an entire absence of typhoid
germs. The trouble. therefore, must be
in the milk or food supply, nice fur
nished or in the use of water for do
nestle purposes from some Independent
source.
Whatever the cause the need of an
investigation is apparent. Typhoid
should not be allowed to become cpl
demic here, nor need it, unless the
authorities and the people neglect. the
scientific precautions usual in such
cases. 1t should not be difficult 20
trace the infection to its source and
remove the cause, and this should be
done. no matter what the cost. Nor
should this work be delayed since 9th e
ers may be exposed 10 the disease I'M
Willingly unless they are advised where
the danger lies.
Meanwhile it would be well for people
who have been drinking water from
private or public wells to boil their
drinking water. on general principles
it would be welk also for the people
generally to begin a campaign OF clean
illness in those districts where accumu-
lations Of dirt and garbage have been
permitted.
Salt Lake ought to be the heslthiest
city in the United States if natural
conditions are reinforced by striSt en-
forcement of the ordinances regarding
sanitation and food supply. The city
water here is perfect. the topography
insures good drainage and climatic
conditions are splendid. The death rate
is already low, but it could be reduced
still further if the citizens would CO.
operate more diligently with the health
department
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-08-25

trary limit. by way Of definition. and
say that the individual is dead"
when the harmony OF interaction in the
vital tripod" ceases.
The thing is hardly worth max
ing any fuss about. We at least
know when we are alive: that
is, some of US do, for there are
men who. living. don't seem 10 be
any too we'll acquainted with the fact.
When we are dead we won't know it,
so there isn't any use in worrying in
advance. And hereafter let us say,
when speaking Of the departed, that
"the harmony Of interaction in his vital
tripod has ceased. That sounds better
that just plain dead
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-08-25
FOR PROFESSIONAL JURORS.

IN THE AUGUST Munsey's Maya
zine Tudor jerks makes the some
what startling suggestion that we
ought TO have professional jurors
for the trial of all cases coming prop
erly before jury. He would abolish
the present method of picking twelve
good men and true" or eight as the
case may be. and turn the work of
bringing in verdicts over to a set Of
men, preferably lawyers. whose duty
it would be to settle lawsuits after
hearing the evidence and the instruc-
tons Of the court Says Mr.. Jenks~
What is there revolutionary in such
a proposal? Is it not in line with all
modern progress? We have long
passed the days when every man was
a jack of all trades The decision of
controversies upon weight of evidence,
and the nice estimation of theories. is
expert work and should be done by
those educated, trained and expert
enced in such matters. After all, law
yers, in short. are trained jurymen,
and need only the laws sanction to
perform the functions now laundering
" bOtched by the haphazard laymen.
"In brief. my proposal is this: Let
there be a professional jury bench,
made up Of men learned in those
branches OF legal lore and civil and
criminal codes that teach the correct
determination of issues of fact. Let
the lay jury be abolished and all is
sues Of fact be made triable before
and these alone. Such a change would
be no more than the specialization and
division Of labor that insures skillful
and just sitting Of facts. and it re-
quires only the utilization OF the sur
plus legal talent available in all civ
ilized lands"
Mr.. jerks proposes to pay his pro-
! fessiOnal jurors well for the time they
are actually in service. He is sure
that, in the long run, the results OBJ
tanned would be eminently satisfac-
tory. On the point as to possible cor
ruption. he does not believe any more
corruption than at present obtains
would be possible. while the chances
are decidedly that there would be very
much less. Apparently Mr.. jerks has
made a good suggestion.
Certainly jury trials as at present
conducted are often unsatisfactory,
( often they result in grotesque miscar-
/ riages Of justice. But, after all, there
/ is always the right of appeal in both
| civil and criminal cases Of any i'm
portance. so that. in the end, a pro
/ fessionaI jury does pass on the ques-
tons at issue. That is practically what
a supreme court or a court OF appeals
is. and its verdict is final, nearly al
ways.
The greatest trouble about our jury
I system lies in the difficulty in getting
the right kind of men to serve on juries
The pay is so small and the time LOST
| from business is so extended, often
that substantial men OF affairs. vhc
are competent to pass on the questions
| suggested by Mr.. jerks, will go to any
/ length to evade jury service. An edu-
cation in the duties the good citizen
/ owes 20 his community might accom-
plish the reform Mr.. jerks considers
| so desirable.