davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-07-31

may be clearly understood it will be
necessary for me to confess that the
sea story has grown from recital to re-
cital. To be candid, it has progressed
from the collision of an Ohio river tow
boat with bridge pier to the highly
dramatic account of an i'll omened YES
sci which set sail on Feb. ID without a
rat in the hold and the water in the
we'll only kept down to hilge depth by
the constant action of the steam siphon.
Every one will understand that this
deft perversion Of facts had as its only
object the entertainment of others. My
wife was always sure of 4 treat for her
guests, no matter how Unexpectedly
they might arrive. The piano might be
out of tune, the monograph records
ruined or the pingpong balls lost. but
my wife had only to launch the CONVEX
sa ton into the well worn ways of ocean
travel, and then she was free to devote
her mind to the serious problem Of pre-
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-07-31
AS THE TALE
WAS TOLD
Bv HOWARD MARCUS STRONG
h,i Enlndifl lEnrn7iS Cfr0nn
Copyright, 1909, By HOucdrd Marcus Stroni

NAUTICAL nomenclature has al
ways possessed for me an I'M
Il accountable attraction. AS it
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-07-31

ways DOSSeSScu 1OT lie all ull-
Il accountable attraction. AS it
is harmless and inexpensive
whim l have humored it to the extent
of ornamenting my rather extensive
vocabulary with such terms as splice
the main brace" and half seas over"
AS matter of fact, l never saw a
bark, brig, sloop, ship, schooner or
smack in my life, and l could not, no
matter how great the necessity, iden-
tfy a pinnacle, capstan or spanker
boom. Notwithstanding, l can tell a
sea story that introduces in their prop
er places a hull, bowsprit and main
crOsstree.
My intimate friends know this story
by heart, but never tire of hearing me
recount it. They aver that l saturate
it with all the realism of transatlan-
tic voyage, and if but keep the vessel
in the trough of the sea many are af-
fected with all the symptoms of NAL
de-mer.
When strangers are present during a
recital of the story frequently try to
abrdge it, disliking to cast a gloom
over the company. But the moment
my friends perceive that l am minded
to scuttle the ship and send all to the
bottom in forty fathoms of water they
cry out:
"And how many of the crew escaped
on the metallic life raft with the Ger
man passengerT
Then l know that the fourteen hide
Gus days beneath a tropical sun with
only a gill of water in the cask and a
ships biscuit in the passengers pocket
the thirteen delirious nights, with mad
dening dreams of bubbling fountains
and bountiful banquets, all must be
gone through with. Though my own
throat grows sympathetically dry and
my lips are ready to crack open at the
thought of the driving salt spray, still
must the daily lots be drawn and the
sail.
THOSE VINO nave never tOld sea $40
~ cannot appreciate the accompanying
strain upon the raconteurs nerves.
Having all the natural endowments of
q great actor, I unconsciously put my
whole soul into the scene and suffer
pang for pang with each member of the
Ill fated crew. BY the time the GlOuces
ter whaler removes from the metallic
life raft the remains of the crew (the
6rst mates thigh bone) and the de
mented German passenger l am in al
most the same condition as the single
survivor. Upon several occasions
have gone so far as to represent my
self as being this same unfortunate in
dividual, my Teutonic cast of counte
nance materially aiding the deception.
In order that my position in the af
fair of honor with the French admira
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-07-31
CITY Property

One and one-half story house, six rooms, bath
room, closets, pantry, water and sewer, stable
hen house, wood house, fruit trees. Price 1,75O
dollars.
House and lot, s.room house, barn. wood shed,
Price $50 dollars.
= One Let, two houses and stable good renters,
Price 200 dollars. Call and get full descrip-
tion of this desirable property:
Lot Is, block 107. Price 2SO dollars.
Lot 7, block 1885, corner lot Price 200 dollars
House and lot, also furniture. Price $3.50.
One frame lodging house. water and sewer
corner lot. Price s., 500.
Lot and house on east side, five rooms, WE'LL
fruit trees, s.dewalk, stable, lot fenced, furn.
House and lot in high school addition, FIVE
room house. Price $780,
Good lot, also two room house and woodshed.
Main St. lot and building Price $500.
A nice 7-room house. east front, water and
fruit 1T, trees bearing, Fifth avenue east. Price
5o,foot corner lot and shack. Western add.
Lots II and IS, block 1o7; 100 feet frontage
nice location cheap. Price $780, cash,
Lot II, block 80, 500.
Lot 10, block 81, 275.
Lot g. block 1854, 100.
Six room house and lot; water; sewer in al
ley; chicken house; stable; wood house. Price
5o.foot, Main street, east front, between srd
and Attn streets Fine business location. Less
| and sewer in alley. Price $525.
Seven.room house and lot; bath; furnace
sewer; lights; Fourth ave. east Best location
| in town. Cheap. Price $3.50.
| House and 5o-foot lot: three rooms and kitch
en-; good barn; NTH ave. west. Price $500
| A bargain.
In addition to the above property we hav,
City Property, Acreage, Timber Lands and Re
linquishments, Oil Stocks in the kintla LAX
Oil Co., Mining Stocks, and are Agents for tn,
Dominion Lands in the Northwest Territory
Fire and Life Insurance
SO Main st., Kalispell. Montana
CALL AND SEE US.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-07-31
Crazy Over Bees.

A man was arrested in Paris the
other day for digging grave for him.
self in the street. He said he was try
ing to escape from the bees. He proved
to be the siNty-seven-year-old Professor
Frederic Mottin, who once wrote a
book on bees and who seemed to have
lost what was left of his mind on read
ing Maeterlinck's book on the same
subject.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-07-31
Taken Up.

Came to my place near Somers,
about May Is, last. One black horse
pony, branded with a bride bit on
the right shoulder Weight of ami
NAL about 500 pounds. Owner please
communicate with Frank Porter
Post Office, Somers, Mont.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-07-31

Complete census of every county
and town Of Montana is given on the
Fees premium map. Pay six months
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-07
LITERARY NOTES

D.. Appleton & Co., New York, have
published very attractive story for boys
entitled 'Weatherby's Inning" It relates
to college life and baseball and is well
Illustrated The author, Ralph H. Bar
bour, shows that he has been a bow. too.
and the boy who will not be interested in
Jack Wetherby's career is certainly hard
to please. =, =, :
The Giant of Three Wars is the title
of a stirring life of that great American
soldier, General Winfield Scott, by James
Barnes. The book is well and attractively
Illustrated. The account of SCOTS school
days In Virginia shows something of the
hghtlng stuff within him and it is not
surprising that, when barely 20, Scott en-
listed under the call Of Jefferson for vol
unteers to prevent the British from
violating the act Of embargo of 1907.
y. Appletin & Co., New York. Price 81.
D. Appleton & Co. have issued two very
attractive books for children. mickey of
the Alley and Other Youngsters by Mrs.
Kate Dickson SWeetser, is a book of sto-
ries about children which will at once at
tract young readers who will read the
title story more than once and delight
In such tales as "A Millinery OPENING
and "Sal-Her Story (Price s1) The
other stsory is AT Aunt Annals by Ma
r1on A. Taggart,very attractively illustrat-
ed It tells of the doings of two CITY chill
dren during summer in the country. full
OF most interesting Incidents. Price ST..
Brother Jonathan" is the title of a very
attractive book by Hezekiah Butterworth
published by D. Appleton & Co., and illus
trated. 1t portrays the life and pat
riotic work of Jonathan Trumbull Of Con
necticut. This man was the inspiration of
many patriotic deed in the critical days
OF the rebellion period and, In this book
the author gives q most realistic view Of
the movements of the period. He calls it
a folklore narrative, with a thread Of
fiction" but it reads like real history
turnout and we may take lit as such.
There are thrilling chapters in the story.
Price $1.a5. ST
When I Was Gear" is the title of a
new romance by Arthur Marchmont, au-
thor of In the Name of a Woman
Houghton, Mifflin & Co. announce
American Tariff Controversies In the
Nineteenth Century by Edward STAN
wood.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-07
No Sectional Preference.

Our southern brethren are right
eously pleased because the three best
selling books just now are by south
erners. AS given by the Bookman
these books are The Mettle of the
Pasture . by James Lane Allen; Cor
don Keith" by Thomas Nelson Page
and THE One Woman" by Thomas
Dixon, Jr. After citing this list, the
Memphis Commercial Appeal says:
We note this summary because it shows
that just now the three best-selling books
in the country are from the pens Of south
ern writer's. This does not necessarily
mean that these are the best books, but it
shows the reading public prefers the work
Of southern writer's. And it is natural
that this should be so. The south is the
home Of the purest Americanism, the
finest genius, the greatest intellect The
north's ideals are almost entirely com
mercial The people up there are our SUI
periors In making money, in effecting in
dustrial combinations, in making other
people make money for them. Here re-
Gently not less than dozen books by
southern writer's have each had sale
ranging from 100000 to 100000 copies. OF
course northern publishers would prefer
to push the work of northern writer's b1,fs
they are not ayerse to making money out,
of the southern works. RES /. -
We have only one fault to find with
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-07
PLUMBING P1sAss TOWER

inquired aobut the price Of stone in the
rough, what it would cost me to get a few
skilled Workmen and a lot of common
laborers, and found I could do it cheap
er. Ihen L went to see him again. Mr.
Mayor said. I've made another set OF
calculations. I'll straighten up that tower
OF yours for s315,0OO. 1 don't mind tell
ing you I would have made a fairly good
thing out of it, even at that TN do It
lot $4,000, said. Call your city coun-
ell together, said, and lay my propo-
s1tion before Them" r..
Wen, did that fetch him ?'' .....
Fetch him? Why, he got mad. and told
the interpreter to tell me 1 was a crazy
TOOL He said he wouldn't have it straight
ened up If I would do it for nothing.
People wouldn't care to see it them he
SAID That made me mad WHY. durn
your st1ngy hide! I said, is that the way
you try to crawl out of spending q. little
money for the good of your town? Some
day that thing will fall down and kill
hundred people. and you know it, I said.
l don't need the money 1 said. I've GOT
money to burn. And wouldn't fix vour
OLD tower now If you were to pay me a
million dollars to do it, you chean skata
dago! And turned on my heel and
walked out There's one Eyetalian oavor
gentleman. that knows what think Of
him, by jocks!" Z
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-07
Chicago Tribune.


The rich American contractor had re.
turned from his first trip abroad and was
telling the fellows at the club about it.
Taking it altogether he said, Il had
about as interesting, a time in Italy as
anywhere else s+r.f1 :. 's
That's a great country" said one of
the club members 3'Tve been all thru
it. Did you visit Pisa, where the leaning
tower is?"
You noticed that tower too, did you 90
returned the contractor. sWhy, durn it,
it's twelve or fifteen feet out of plumb!
| could tell that the minute I saw it. One
OF our stiff winds would blow the whole
blamed business over. T wouldn't have
gone to the top of the thing for million
dollars. The first things.I did was to sit
down and do a little figuring. Then 1
hired an interpreter and went to see the
mayor Of the town. They don't call him
the mayor, but that's what he is Mr..
Mayor I said thru the Interpreter,
you'll have capsized building on your
hands one Of these days If you don't get
that jiggamaree tower of yours straight
ened up. I'll do the job for you, all right
and shfpshape, for $396,0Oo.''
What did he say to that?"
He only laughed. I guess he thought
it was too much money Then I went to
my hotel and did lot more figuring. I
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-07
Books and Authors
a NEW LINE OF FICTION

The automobile or motor car stories
1i,.a IKE mushrooms. People must
ike to read them, but it is likely that they
VII get tired Of the increasingly dun re-
iteratlon, for few Of the writers Of these
stories show much originality. one Of the
pest pc OF these tales was about a man who
lieu lieu 70 get to dinner-party and was
compelled to swing round the locality of
me diner by then perversity Of the ma
cnine, whose chauffeur could not stop 1t
ana IT had to run down. The incidents
connected with this affair were well
wrought There is some room left for ex-
Of this kind.
II does not appear that the woman who
to play chauffeur and knows
not even the rudimentary principles Of
h Ng one Of these capricious mechan-
lsnls, has been adequately depicted. This
Venturesome female will coolly jump into
red devil and start out with the as
surance Of a veteran. She is usually
watched over by a benign providence, else
she and the red devil'' would be ami
h p by a decorating collision. A thrill
ing tale of the narrow escapes of one Of
tnese daring women might be written
George AIDE ought to try his hand at it.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-07
SPIES IN TIME OF PEACE

arsenal, fortress, asked battery or mill
tary undertaking of any kind. The real
tourist may excite suspicion and no doubt
many Of the people arrested are innocent,
put occasionally a spy is captured, and
usually, Of course, is liberated after in
quiries
Foreign consuls are apt to be much more
energetic, emphatic and positive when
government agent is taken than they are
when the innocence of the parties held is
80 apparent that it needs no proof. In
ORDINARY circumstances, when the spy is
known he thereby becomes innocuous and
he knows it. II discovered, the impolite
Russian way is to forbid him to enter the
country or to declare he comes from
plague infested port or that he is a Roman
Catholic or a Jew.
The polite way is to offer him guard
or helpmate or companion The spy is
then shown what he must see and as soon
as he has seen and reported the various
military dispositions are changed SO that
the information he obtains is worse than
useless, being actually misleading.
The polite British way is to take the
recognized spy around the golf links and
give him pegs Of whisky and tell him soft
stories as he sits on stool enjoying 60
interminable regimental cricket, then to
send or take him home happy. talkat tive
man, with nothing to tell That is what
happens when a, Russian vessel calls at
Perrin "for water" or Russian officers
show themselves curious to the forts At
Alden.
Many are the lodges resorted to bv
British agents in order to avoid being
'spoofed" by their Russian hosts. Their
common way is to hunt in couples, each
independent of the other, SO that if one ia
taken the other may still succeed in GEL
ting through with the work. This nlan
has other advantages.
The eastern races make ADEPT snies
Russia's agents, when out of uniform be-.
tray their calling by being so we'll in
formed, which is unusual in Russia. as IL
takes a clever educated man to detect
them and they are few such among the
class of people the agents frequent in the
east, for they pretend to be merchants.
veterinary surgeons, peddlers and even
Migrants .
In the far east in the matter of espion-
age Japan has the game almost entirely
to itself. A Japanese can readily become
SO good an imitation of the Chinaman.
Manchu or Mongol, that the Russian can
not Identify him and the Chinaman who
does will certainly not denounce him.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-07
THE FOUR-DEAVED CLOVER

Within a florists shop it grew;
No tyrant heel had pressed it
But some one-can it be twas your
Bought, and to me addressed it,
With yards of ribbon green twas bound
turned the writing over
To see what friend for me had found
This pot Of four leafed clover.
No hint of distressful land
Lurked in its tender greening,
But rather like friendly hand
Clasped in my own-its meaning;
And then, 1t seemed to whisper me
The message Of a lover
Aroon-Acusfla and Machree',
n Soft crooned my four-leafed clover.
One leaf for luck, and one for life, s.
And one for love and laughter;
Yet in the symbols gladness rife
Comes memory thronging after.
A cottage thatch- a latticed pane
The gray dawn sadly breaking
"A hunters hornaga in-aagain
To haste the colleen's waking.
And did She wake--and did they part?
n was it--nlay be--fOreyer? 35#
Or did Mavourneen's answering heart h
Forbid that they should sever?
Who knows? Upon my window sill
The cd songs love notes hover;
My bird sings on with joyous trill
Above the four-leafed clover!
Kate Masterton IN Life.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-07
London Exnress

55fs No. LONDON ExpreSS.
There are many things about each other
which nations would like to know In or
der to discover what they must know, but
are not allowed to. civilized states en-
ploy military spies They may be mill
tary or naval attaches, tkduly accredited to
an embassy, or they may be agents, no
are sent to reside or travel In those dis
tricts from which information is required
by the intelligence department The work
OF the first class is not untmportant but
1t is not risky. The officer may not over
step the bounds OF common honesty, and
rarely, II ever, attempts to achieEa any
thing secretly.
He is closely watched and knows it. If
ne becomes a strong center of attraction
he may divert the attention of watchers
from some secret agent who is possessing
himself OF the particulars the attache is
Ostenslbly so anxious to acquire, but is
successfully prevented from securing. The
attache is useful as a clearing agent Spies
become possessed of facts which are OF
no real value to those who employ them.
but are assumed to be worth much. to
the agents of other countries, and an ex-
change of pieces is effected. Some
times apparently useless information is
sought simply for its exchange value.
Each country has it's own peculiar
sphere of interest to which it devotes its
greatest attention. Great Britain has so
many that properly speaking it has none.
But India is always alarmed as to Rus
STA, and agents-British and native-of
the Indian department are ever busy
seeking particulars likely to be of service
when they have to defend an empire
which already, In the military sense, ex-
tends from Alden to Hong Kong. Most of
the Indian agents in Russia are officers
OF the Indian army, but, needless to state,
they do not trSYel as such. Some effect
to be tourists of an innocent but inquir-
Ing turn of mind: some go as commercial
travellers; some lean to religious propa-
ganda, while others collect curiosities.
These agents have been SO energetic and
SO prolific in their disguise that in the
south Of Russia the bona fde commercial
traveller excites suspicion.
AS buying agent the spy has also
worked well. No Briton con now go across
the Caspian to purchase skins any more
than to sell hardware or even Just to
amuse himself, without his letters being
opened and the company he keeps being
carefully noted.
Elsewhere than in central Asia the in
squisitive foreigner is likely to he detained
as a suspect if found near a dock yard
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-07

this. We can pardon the Commercial-
Appeal for trying to make out that
the south is the home Of the purest
the finest genius, the
greatest intellect, and that the north's
ideas are almost entirely commercial;
but we can't pardon the imputation of
sectionalism to our publishers. The
publisher does not care a fig where
an author comes from, il his work is
acceptable. He does not prefer to
push the work of northern writer's.
Neither does the reading public,
largely located in the north, care. It
cares more and more for good Amer
lean fiction. but 1t does not prefer
northern writer's or southern writer's.
1t merely prefers those that please.
It the south happens to have them the
north is not jealous, but glad.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-07
PREMIER ALLrAROUND EATER
New York Post


1t has been the privilege of this column
from time to time to chronicle the feats
OF mighty eaters. In speaking Of one of
these. man in the south, who had made
record eating bananas, the suggestion
was offered that there should be uniform
rules for eating contests. There was no
way Of telling, for instance, whether the
banana eater was less or more remarkable
than Tammany's champion consumer of
beefsteak. 1t may be presumptuous to
hope that that paragraph has influenced
the men Of mighty appetite, but the course
OF one of the tribe is along the line sug-
gested. He is a doctor Of Marion, O., and
his name is Bonner. Realizing that it is
impossible for one man to prescribe that
all records henceforth shall be measured
in peanut brittle, or veal outlets, or
canned corn. he seems to have decided to
make a record himself with every separ-
ate Wand. The stories which came out of
Marion regarding DR.. Bonner's appetite
were so remarkable that newspaper of a
nefghboring city investigated them, and
found that the truth was not overstated
The doctor has been known to eat twenty
hVe pounds OF grapes in an afternoon, or
whole bunch of bananas At dinner it
Is his habit to eat a five-pound steak
smothered in onions, a quart can of toma-
toes, boiled potatoes to match, and some
pies. "A friend'-a very undesirable
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-07

plies, and the annoyance and friction
occasioned by efforts to get them.
The time of instructors and students
is wasted. Moreover the quality has
in some instances been abominable.
These shortcomings may be the
fault of the extension of the board of
control authority to the university,
they may be the fault of this particu-
lar board, rather than the system, or
they may be a blending Of both. For
our part, we think the principal
trouble is in giving to the board Of
control. with all it's other work, con-
troll of SO great an institution, calling
for so much consideration Of detail
in management and involving SO many
peculiar problems and methods-af-
fairs which, it is difficult. if not
impossible, satisfactorily to attend
to according to general d rules
and established routine. The uni
versity is SO great, so complex and
so unique among state institutions
that it requires independent manage
ment.