The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-01
FOR ALL FOOLS DAY
RULES TO BE FOLLOWED ON
APRIL IST
TO AVOID BEING TAKEN IN
SAFETY CAN ONLY BE SECURED ny
CAUTIOUSNESS.

To an Over-Sensitive Man April 1
Must BE n Day of Great Trinl,
but He Can BE Constantly on
Guard and Avoid PitfaIIs-Author-
7 titles Differ ms to the Origin of
April Fool FOIIies, but the Custom
Has Evidently Come to Stny.
Vaccination Not n Preventative.
For more than a week those who
read the newspapers and magazines
have been treated to dishes of his
tory and fiction in regard to the rea-
sons why All Fools Day Is the title
appropriate to April 1. why the PEG
pie love to trick and deceive each
other and what may, with propriety
and without offense, be done to friend
and foe on this important date. But
after all of the speculation and more
or less believable history which
goes back in some cases to the Ark,
the deduction is simply that a day OF
license was nee0ed-a time when the
people could play pranks and fool
their neighbors and friends without
any SeIlOuS Consequences eAiANA
l happened to become the date.
The special space writer's having
therefore stepped in and taken the lead
of the story, it is only left for the
chronicler of the day to suggest what
may or may not happen to the average
man, and let him take such warning
as he may deem fit. The following adj
vice is furnished entirely free and strict
observance of the regulations will posi-
lively insure the users of immunity
from April Pooling.
For Head of the Family.
The first thing for a man of family
to remember this morning is to care
fully shake out his shoes-fOr- marbles,
are sometimes put in and are not COM
forta BILE wearing. 1t would be just as
well. also to put on ones coat back
wards. thus, enabling the Wearer to
notice, if any small boys pin signs,
such as please Kick Me" etc. on
the coat tails. In order to get down.
stairs with perfect safety the bannis-
ters is the best route and at the break
fast table be very careful not to eat
anything. Spend the entire time read
ing the Morning News and when the
children say Papa, look out the win
dow quick and see the green elephant"
simply show your intelligent front
teeth and continue reading. Break
fast over leave the house by the back
gate-for more than likely the front
gate will be tied with string. 1t might
be wise for some men to get out by
the fire escape for even the back gate
is sometimes carried away by rude
boys. For the route to the office care
fully select streets that are least used.
Walk in the middle and dodge auto
mobiles, cars, wagons and bikes; they
are not half so dangerous as the pack
ages of gold coin, bundles of dry goods,
beautiful hats and their furnishings
that will lie in wait upon the side
walks, each securely chained to the
foundation of the street. With due
care and attention the place of bust
ness may be safely reached.
At the Office.
q Once inside the office door remember
that this is not Christmas Day, neither
New Years, nor Fourth of July. 1t
is up to you to look over the mail and
give attention to the female-stenogra-
pher. The latter will no doubt have
no idea of doing anything but making
a Fool of you. all day long. so te
ware. The very best thing would be
to send her out to buy some new white
carbon sheets, and that will keep her
busy all day-to-morrow you are safe
again.
Presenting that the young lady with
the auburn hair has departed, take up
your letters-and don't forget the date.
All that contain orders had best be
laid aside. Tomorrow you can tele-
graph for confirmation, but If you fill
them to-day it will most likely be a
case of freight charges. If there is a
missive signed "Mayme" and your joe
ular vein suggests that you take it
home to fool your wife, "cut it OUT
At about noon lock the door. Some
of your friends will be heading your
way and asking you out to lunch. Pre-
tend not to hear the taps on the outer
portal and fish out d copy of Hasbeen' S
Food for Thought 1t is very filling
and much better than soapsuds beer,
plain soap cheese, hard boiled plaster
of paris eggs, sawdust cake and patent
leather steak. When all other efforts
have failed and most of the men have
come from lunch some one will poke a
box in the cashiers window and say,
"Diggs, old boy, have some candy; my
girl sent it to me for my birthday"
Don't you believe it, Under the soft
and creamy coating of chocolate turks
bicarbonate of soda, tincture of hyo-