davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
"Mheelu and Woe.

The mayor of the town, riding on
his new bicycle, found himself a long
way off, and, wanting water for his
acetylene lamp. He rode on in mo-
mentary dread of the village constable,
till at last he saw a laborer standing
at the door of his cottage.
II say, would you be kind enough
to give me some water for my lanp?"
he asked dismounting.
Water" repeated the man; Il
s'pose you mean oil?"
mo, don't; | want water"
The laborer looked searchingly at
the prosperous cyclist for a moment.
Take my advice and get alone
'ome," he said impressiyely. You
ought to be ashamed of yourself, at
your age-and you the mayor, too."-
London Tit-Bits.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
GIVE NEED OF PRAISE
TO OLD INDIAN CHIEFS
Many Of Them Possessed Of Rare Qualities Of Virtue
and Patriotism Invariably Unjusdy Treated by the
White Rulers-Two Noted Examples.

1t Is without fear of successful con-
tradiction that the claim is made for
conspicuous virtues ard patriotism
for the race Of Indian chiefs who
ruled the east coast OF Florida from
Fernandina to Miami until the arms
and the arts of the white man proved
too strong for their people. In the
beginning OF our knowledge of them
Satouriona was most kind and courte-
GUS, liberal and dignifed, SO that
Spanish don and French courtier
agreed In singing his praises, If moth
Ing else. To Menendez and to RI
bault he was alike generous and help
full and both repaid him with ingrati-
tude-Menendez in person and RI
bault through his lieutenant Laudon-
Mere. When the Spaniards slaugh-
tered the Frenchmen the Indian
showed good policy as well as con-
spicuous bravery in setting the two
at each others throats-without Olo-
toraca De Gourgues would have fail
ed in his attempt at revenge.
Through all the years tina. followed
sASAS vas OIL Open VIII OT dTIueu
truce between the Indians of the east
coast and the Spaniards-several
times the city of st. Augustine was
threatened with ruin from their des-
perate assaults.
So when the wrongs of another
race of white men again called for
vengeance and the Floridian was
summoned to meet his ancient enemy,
the Seminole, with a view to common
action, the responsibility of his race
devolved on E-mat-la, called King
Philip, because of the unfitness In
mind and body Of Micanopy. But
King Philip also was old and he and
his knew what it was to 60 out
against superior weapons and un-
equal resources. Therefore, when
the summons to the great council
came Ematla sent for his counsellors
to gather about his sick bed. To
them and to his son, Caocoochee, he
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
HELEN GOULD THE BEST
LOVED WOMAN ON EARTH
Name Of the Great American Philanthropiss He'd In
Reverence the World Over-Forced by Ill Health 10
Lessen Her Labors Ia the Cause of Charity.

Americas best loved woman! The
best loved woman In the world! The
titles are synonymous and belong to
woman who has consecrated her life to
charity, and whose efforts in behalf of
her less fortunate fellow beings have
Slapped her limited strength to the
verge of q. physical breakdown. Now
her physician has ordered her to take
absolute rest" not for week,
month or two months, but until her
health is fully restored.
When one considers the amount of
work which has occupied Miss Gould's
attention, the wonder win not be that
she was forced to lessen her labors,
but that she was not compelled to do
SO long ago, The scope of her charity
has been worldwide. 1t has been so
varied as to embrace practically every
branch Of philanthropic work. No
hobby has confined her liberality to
one or two lines of giving. No local
pride has limited her generosity to
particular section. Her charity has
been as unbounded in Q. geographical
sense as 1t has been unstinted in the
sums expended.
Two contradictory qualities have
united In making Helen Gould one of
the most widely known and best loved
women in the world. One is an ex-
quisite femininity, quick to respond to
the sufferings OF others, yet shrinking
to the point of timidity. The other is
sense of right and wrong which is
Puritanical in its infiexibility, making
no compromise for expediency's sake.
and alert and militant when occasion
demands. This first quality is exem-
plifed in her love for children, in her
numerous gifts to the poor. The other
was manifested in her determination
to clear her fathers memory and the
unyielding refusal which met the COM
promise rendered by the woman who
claimed to have been his wife. A
weaker spirit would have been glad to
hush up a possible scandal, but she
was strong enough to maintain her
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
AMERICANS GOING TO CANADA.
Thousands of Farmers Eager to Take
Up Land There.


Up Land There.
The eyes of many American farmers
in the western states are turned to the
Canadian northwest The figures of
the dominion government show that
10000 American farmers emigrated
from the United States to the Cana
dian northwest territories and prov
fnces last year. With their families
this means an exodus of 10000 to
100000 Americans within twelve
month, who must perforce abandon
their citizenship In the United States
and take the oath of allegiance to
Edward VII. The wheat raising area
available in the Canadian northwest
is said to be 100000 square miles,
which Is four times the total area in
the United States devoted to this cropj
AS yet only l per cent of the Canadian
area is cultivated, but the yield is
one-tenth that of the whole United
States. Aside from the loss of so
many valuable citizens to this country
this movement means that Great
Britain, within a decade or two, will
be independent of the United States
for her breadstuffs, will obtain her
food from her own dependency, instead
of from us.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
STRANGE RACE OF MEN.
Characteristics Of the Swamp Dwell
ers of New Guinea.

Characteristics of the Swamp Dwell
ers Of New Guinea.
Recently the British government
published an interesting report on the
ape-like swamp dweSers of New
Guinea. This strange race Of hui
man beings has dwelt in the swamps
from times which antedate the oldest
native traditions, and 1t is evidently
on the high road to becoming dis
tinct variety of animal. The swamp
jewellers have lost three inches in
stature and, while retaining muscular
arms and robust trunk, have short
and slender legs. Walking always in
water or on moist ground, they have
feet with long, fragile-looking toes,
which they place on the ground like
wooden feet" Walking on hard
ground makes their feet bleed, and,
unlike the ordinary natives, whose
skin is everywhere tight and smooth,
the outline of their loins is obscured
by folds Of skin. More apelike than
any human being that have seen," is
the concluding criticism of the Brit
ish administrator. 1t is probable, of
course, that this effort of nature to
create new species of amphibious
human being with fiat swimming and
wading feet and degenerate physique
will be defeated by civilizing agencies.
Fifty years hence the last recogniz-
able specimens of this queer race will
perhaps have incased their paddle-feet
in boots-perhaps their women will
be wearing high-heeled shoes. But the
record of their existence is interest
ing.
In Morocco the strange season OF
the Mohammedan new year. beginning
March 9. is generally called "Ait-el-
Hanwela," the ram feast The people
of Morocco pay more elaborate atten-
ton to the item of sacrifice than any
other Moslems. In every town a su-
preme offering of ram or he-goat
takes place at the door of the prin-
cipal mosque. Immediately after it is
struck by the official imam in pres
ence of the multitude it is flung on
the shoulders of stalwart Moor, who,
exerting his utmost strength. runs
like a deer through the narrow
streets, pursued by rabble. The
poor animal is pelted with stones by
boys and is jeered at with execrations
from every house, as it is reputed to
be carrying the sins of the people. The
man rushes along with his burden till
he reaches the door of the kadi's
palace. If the animal is still breath
ing the augury is excellent, for good
luck is to be expected all through the
year. But If the ram is dead, all
sorts of evil representations are NUT
tered
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
DANCER In Delay.

DIR. James NJ. Buckley, editor Of
the Christian Advocate, is a great
favorite with the young men in the
Methodist denomination. Often he
admonishes them along interesting
lines. To youth who has just be-
gun his work In the ministry he said
the other day: How are things mat
rimonial with you. my boy?" I'm
still single" was the reply. Don't
delay too long" said the doctor with
merry twinkle in his eye "You
don't want to put marriage off until
you are SO old that you won't be able
to manage your children"
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
Two Are Ready to Marry.

A gentleman met a young woman
who had formerly been a servant in
his house, and in a peculiar way said
to her:
why, haven't YOU got married
YETI"
mo, sor."
well, ! thought you would have
been married before now"
"Oh, no, sor," she said, ''but thor's
two waitin'.'
Two" he exclaimed, why, you
don't mean to marry two, do your"
mo, sor."
"Then, who are they?" he In
quired.
why" she replied, naively, "the
two that's waitin' is the parson and
ms!"-Spare Moments.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
United States a Good Customer.

Russia, hitherto a pig-iron import.
ing country, exported to America this
year over $4,000 tons of pig iron; Ger
many sent her immense quantities of
pig iron and manufactured steel; even
France contributed supplies and Cleve-
land, west coast hematite and Scottish
pigs owe all their advances and their
present stability entirely to America:
To Germany this unexpected demand
must have proved an unmixed bless.
ing, rescuing her from what was fast
approaching a commercial crisis, says
the Edinburgh Scotsman.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
With Their Hind Leas.

To devoted lovers, George and Liz
zie, were crossing the fields approach.
ing the pretty town of Bethlehem, Pa.
The sounds OF the grasshoppers and
katydids filled the air as they came in
sight of church. 1t was Sunday morn.
ing and the congregation was singing
a melodious hymn. Lizzie heard It,
but George did not, and she said:
"Oh, George, isn't that beautiful"
He, thinking she referred to katy.
dds, replied:
Eyes, and they are doing all that
with their hind legs"
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
DEAFNESS CANNOT BE CURED

BY local applications as they cannot reach the dis
eased portion Of the ear. There Is only one way
to cure deafness and that 10 by constitutional
remedies. Deafness is caused by an infamed con-
diton of the mucous lining of the Eustschan Tube.
When this tube Is infsmed you have a rumbng
sound or imperfect hearing. and when II Is entirely
closed deafness is the result, and unless the in
1ammation can be taken out and this tube restored
TO its normal condition, hearing will be destroyed
forever: nine out OF ten are caused by ca
tarrh. which Is nothing but an inhamed condition
OF the mucous surfaces,
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case
OF Deafness caused by catarrhl that cannot DO
cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars.
free. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
Accident Spoiled His Chances.

Secretary Cortelyou, the new cabL
net member, was sitting in his tenn.
porary quarters day or two after he
had been installed In ONCE. whom
man weighing something over 200
pounds came in and applied for place
a. mail messenger or clerk. At that
time the secretary's offiee furniture
consisted Of small desk and two
more or less shaky chairs. The visitor
sat down and was urging his fitness
when the chair gave way and he fell
to the floor. There" exclaimed Sec.
rotary Cortelyou, you have destroyed
one-third of my department. You may
be all right as a mail runner. but
do not think you will be success In
a sedentary position"
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
churchmen Are Excited.

The coming election of a new dean
of the general theological seminary,
New York city, is stirring up more In
terest and excitement among Protes-
tant Episcopalians than any event of
the sort since Phillips Brooks was
elected bishop of Massachusetts, not
withstanding his antisacerdotal views
and Unitarian friendship. Thus far
the deans--Forbes, Seymour, Hoffman
have been high churchmen."
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
THE TEXT FROM GLOVER"
ceiored Parsons Error PardonabIe

Cciored Parsons Error Pardonable
Under the Circumstances.
In portions Of the South the minis
tiers OF the colored congregations are
often more noted for their fervor than
their erudition. In a certain revival
meeting In a church in North Carolina
the minister announced from the pub
pit. my tex is Let de woman larn N
silence wild all subsection You will
done I'm 1t in de secon' chapter, lev
enth varse, OBJ Clover"
At this mention of an unknown
epistle a good brother plucked tho
coattails of the minister. The latter
turned round. then again faced the
audience. I'm spite OBJ de Interrupt
tion." he said, 81 repeat de tex am
from de secon' chapter, leventh varse,
OBJ Clover"
Again the coattails were plucked,
and the minister glared at the plucker,
only to turn once more to the congre-
cation.
"Brudder Johnson" he said, Job
1ects to de tex, Let woman larn in
silence We all know dat Sister John
son am not silent woman. But I
done repeats dat de tex will be foun'
In de secon' chapter, 1eventh varse,
OBJ Clover"
Here Brother johnson rose to tho
minister's ear and whispered earn
estly.
oh" said the dominic. Then to
the gaping people. Il asks Sister
Johnsons pardon. Her husband says
made mistake, he is dat trifin'. My
tex will not be found in de secon'
chapter, leventh varse, OBJ Glover;
but In de secon' chapter, 'leventh
varse OBJ Timothy. l knowed 1t was
some kind OBJ grass"
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

send with them the negroes the chief
had before refused to desert.
Let the rest be told in the words
of Congressman Giddings:
"On the 21st day of May (Which is
the same moon with June, according
10 the Indian calendar) Wildcat and
his brother, together with an uncle,
the brother of his father. King Philip,
and twelve other Indians and three
exiles RUNAWAY negroes) came into
Fort Pierce where Col. Childs was in
command. Wildcat and his friends had
reposed perfect confidence in the hon.
or and good faith of Gen. Worth. He
had been betrayed by Gen. Hernandez,
acting under Gen. Jessup's orders (;
had been imprisoned and suffered
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

much, but from the manner and bear
ing of Gen. Worth he had been led to
repose the most implicit confidence in
his sincerity. Col. Childs, however,
punctilious In his obedience to or
ders, at once seized and sent him and
his companions in irons to Tampa Bay,
where they were Immediately placed
on board transport and sent to New
Orleans, en- route to Fort Gibson.
1T is due Worth to say that the or
der to seize the Indians was issued
by Arminstead without Worth's knowl-
edge. But Worth had them returned
from New Orleans to Tampa and
threatened to hang the prisoners un-
less the free warriors surrendered
also"
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
The Movement OF Etheroran.

A plausible explanation of the fact
noted by Marconi that ethergrams
travel farther by night than by day is
that of M. Jolly quoted by La Nature
The waves constituting the message
were sent from west to east, and
would, therefore, be travelling during
the day, against the earth current from
England, while by night they would
be travelling with that current In CON
ditions similar to sounds carried by q
strong gale.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
The leas Of the Tsnor.

Alfred Ord writes Cleveland paper
inquiring Why tenor singers are fat.
knock-kneed and have legs like a nj.
amor" The man in our town who used
to sing high mosquito tenor way up
in H used to have legs that would
have made broomstick appear corpu.
lent. He was also thinner than faith.
er's excuse on lodge Milwau.
kee Journal.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

fight with his people. he was ready
now to die with them, rather than
break his word. He went back to the
woods and fought on.
At last he was captured again and
sent to Tampa. Col. Worth demand
ed that he order his men to surrender
If they would not come in he was
to be hanged.
Caocoochee sent the message--his
warriors came In and all were sent
West-Col Worth risking censure to
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
Commitment. hut Mo Cash.

Mrs. Julia o'Toole of Boston has the
satisfaction Of knowing that her beat
ty Is matter of court record. She
had been awarded verdict Of $4,000
against the Old Colony Street Railroad
company on account Of injuries sus-
tained.1 This verdict was set aside on
appeal.A the Supreme Court holding
that tho jury in the court trial had
been Carried off their feet" through
their adqhiration for the plaintiff. Mrs
o'Toole Twill carry the case still
higher.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
Senators EXCHANGE Hats

Senators Spooner and Newlands
Internationally exchanged hats in the
white house ante-room a few DAYS
ago. When they met few minutes
later Sponer said Some scoundrel
stole my hat in there" Here. too"
said Newlands; left me an old plug
that" why, that's my hat" said
the Wisconsin man, laughing. And
you have mine" Newlands answered.
Then there was an exchange, with
mutual apologies
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

Thousands of aching backs have
been relieved and cured.
peonle are learning that backache
Mains come from disordered Kidneys,
that Doan's Kidney Pills cure every
Kidney Ill. cure Bladder troubles, uri.
nary arrangements, Dropsy, Diabetes,
Bright's Disease.
Read this testimony to the merit OF
the greatest of Kidney Specifies.
]. w. Walls, superintendent OF
streets Of Lebanon. KY, living on
East Main street in that city, says:
with my nightly rest broken, ow-
ing to Irregularities Of the kidneys,
suffering intensely from severe pains
in the small of my back and through
the kidneys, and annoyed by painfui
passages Of abnormal secretions, life
was anything but pleasant Tor me.
No amount Of doctoring relieved this
condition and for the reason that moth
ing seemed to give me even temporary
relief. became about discouraged.
One day I noticed in the newspapers
the case of man who was safiiicted
as was and was cured by the use OF
Doan's Kidney Pills. His words OF
praise for this remedy were 80 Ems
cere that on the strength Of his state
ment / went to the Hugh Murray
Drug Co.'s store and got a box.
found that the medicine was exactly
as powerful kidney remedy as rep
resented. / experienced quick and
lasting relief. Doan's Kidney Pills
will prove a blessing to all sufferers
from kidney disorders who will give
them fair trial"
A FREE TRIAL Of this great kidney
medicine which cured Mr.. Walls will
be mailed to any part Of the United
States on application. Address Fos-
ter-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. For
sale by all druggists. Price so cents
per box
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

Francisco bearing books to the SOL
diers in the Philippines. to be placed
in neat bookcases upon their arrival
in the Orient
Is 1t any wonder, then, that the
soldiers and sailors should regard her
with feeling akin to veneration? II
there were no other benenciaries of
her bounty they would be sufficient to
make her the best loved woman In the
world. To them she is the ideal Of
patriotic American womanhood, and
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
Wasn't Taking ANY Chances.

A simple country girl was a Witness
In theft case In suburban town.
and intimated that her sweetheart
knew Something of the affair. On
being asked where he was, she de-.
clared he was outside.~ Au,.
Then we had better czfsAtsoatzAu
court" suggested the prosecuting at
torney.
"Oh, goodness, mol" exclaimed the
girl. Il can hardly get him to court
me when we're alone, and I'm sure
he won't court me here before you
ALI -
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

1t would be interesting to know the
exact mental condition of the New
York correspondent when he accept
ed as true the statement that an am
bassador from a first class world
power was bribed with twenty cases
OF wine. ID
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

A woman in New York offers $50 for
the tip of nose to be grated on her
own. She should exercise great care
in selecting anything that Is offered,
or following her nose in future may
load her q merry chase.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

One of the ST. Louis turf invest
ment companies proposes to pay rs
cents on the dollar. This is much
more than the victims had any reason
to expect when they made the invest
ment.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

The Boston Herald states editori.
ally that "A woman will stint her
dinner table to save money enough to
buy a hat" Well, a man who is
mean enough to drive his wife to this
extreme has no right to grumble.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28
I6tops the Cough and
Works on the Cold
Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Price 25c.
Ms(ny csntenarians In America.

IN7fIETICGs
Joseph II. Perkins of Syracuse, ".
T., WI soon publish a work contain
ing thf biographies of nearly $4,000
centena rians. II he can show any
means living SO as to reach the 100
year maAk, his book ought to have q
wide circ alation. There are 1000 peo
pie now living in the United State
who are % years old or more.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

Spurred on by the success of his
dinner on horseback, G. K. G. Bill.
iings gave a luncheon in his new
stable. All the animals appear to
have had a good time.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

/ DIR. Parkhurst states that all men, IN
ciuding himself, are liars. For part of
his assertion, at least. the doctors
evidence must be taken as perfectly
conclusive.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

A Boston minister has Rcly an
nounced the adoption Ills third
creed. As he is not ye old man,
he may get through the Sn6re list be-
fore he has an opportunity to take
an untrammeled spiritual view Of all
.creeds and dogmas.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

Kentucky papers are making some
stir over the disappearance of a car.
load of whisky in that state. But
the chances are that 1t went down by
the usual route.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

Russia is going to build a canal con-
meeting the Baltic with the Black sea.
Nicholas II may be said to have both
eyes open on the question Of water
works.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

The Missouri man whose wife is
suing him for divorce ON the ground
that he gave her only $12 for clothes
In three years is evidently an admirer
of beauty unadorned.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

Cuba is rapidly becoming American
lied. Her leading statesmen are al
ready getting their photographs and
testimonials in our patent-medicine
advertisements.
Elmore bulletin. [volume] (Rocky Bar, Idaho) 1889-1906, 1903-05-28

coneressman's Short Autobiography.
The shortest autobiography in the
new congressional directory is that
of Congressman Byrd of the fifth Mis-
sissippi district. 1t is as follows:
adam Byrd, democrat, was elected
70 the fifty-eighth Congress. receiv.
ing 3.081 votes"