davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

There are in London more Scotch
men than in Aberdeen, more Irish than
in Dublin, more Jews than in Pales-
tine. more Roman Catholics than in
Rome, and more Americans than in
Oskaloosa, Iowa.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06
Patti Reaches America.

New York, Nov. 1.-Adelina Patti.
the Baroness Cederstrom. accompanied
by her husband, landed late last night
from the Etruria. She had very
rough voyage. during which she was
thrown from her berth and sustained a.
slight injury of the knee.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

Miss, frightened a mule to death.
From the meager reports we are at a
loss to determine whether this reflects
on the mule or the band.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

We spend in this country $40 a year
for liquor and tobacco and 40 cents for
churches per capita. Need we won
der why there are more saloons than
places of worship?
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

August Belmont is to sell all his
race horses. Farewell to the scarlet,
maroon and black which have been
worn to victory so many times in the
years gone by!
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

Those young women of the Brooklyn
Heights school who paraded in the
streets with reversed clothes must
have reversed ideas of ladylike con
duct.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

Following the example of the chill
dren of Israel, who, by the rivers OF
Babylon, hung their harps on the will
lows and refused to sing, the choir
boys of a church in Waterville, Me-,
have gone on strike.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

/; The signing swain of San Francisco
who encountered some parental objec-
ton in the shape of large red brick
bat is doubtless convinced that the
,rumor that the course of true love
never runs smooth was not exagger-
ated
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

Sir Archibald Hunter says he is
sorry that he sneered at the navy, but
cannot alter his opinion. And Ad-
miral Lambton accepts this as an
apology!
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

The Germans in the fatherland are
fretted by the girl who eternally plays
the scales in the next house. They
would be glad to swap the piano pest
for the gypsy moth.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

The crown prince of Germany is re-
ported to have wrecked a pianola
while having high time in Munich
the other day, but he doesn't seem to
have become infatuated with any
American heiress lately.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

AS cure for insomnia a physician
advises person to pedal the feet in
time with the respiration, the pedal
ing being accomplished from the
ankles entirely. But, for heaven s
sake. how is the other fellow going to
get any sleep?
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

The dressmakers' convention at Chi
cago pleased the women. but only add
ed n distressing financial outlook to
the man OF the house.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

This settles the Filipinos: News has
just been received that the insurgents
are organizing football and baseball
leagues. May as well call back the
army.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

Riches still manifest tendency to
take unto themselves wings, particu-
larly the kind of riches that exist on
paper.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

Miss Lillian Russell says her worst
trouble in assuming mel's parts on
the stage is in making her neckties
look neat and dressy. But all other
men have the same trouble, Lillian.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

They have finally produced play In
New York that is naughty enough to
shock the natives. Look out for broken
records.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

II Sir Thomas Upton wants to make
himself solid with the colored people
of Georgia. where he has just bought
large plantations for the raising OF
fruits, he has but to put a brand of
Upton watermelons on the market
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

The woman who is going out in an
eel gown lad better begin to get into
IL now.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

Some one has said that the game of
football bears the same relation to
physical culture that n bull fight does
to agriculture.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

Talking of rich mems panic, there
was one in Kansas City when a milk
wagon ran away and collided with a
coal dealers rig.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

After several days reflection the
puzzled British subject is unable to de-
eide whether he should regard the Bal
four outfit as cabinet or golf club.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

II the man who laughed himself to
death at New York show had been
attending comic opera the catastro-
phe never wo-'li have occurred.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

1t is only natural that trolley sleep
ers should be provided for our restless
population.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

A woman's logic is cut so on the
bias that when she is all tired out
from shopping she goes to dance to
rest herself.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

Theresa Vaughn, before the clouds
gathered about her. scattered much
sunshine in the world.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

servia ha. rev cabinet. hu& old
Stojan Protics is still on deck. They
can't run the thing without Stoj.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

Charley Ross has just been found
in Texas, but he is likely to turn up
in Maine or Montana by tomorrow.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

The concert of the powers will prob
ably not be moved to do anything un-
til "Hiawatha" is played.
The Springfield herald., 1903-11-06

II some explorer were really to dis
cover the pole, he would put an end to
a very thriving literary industry.
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
A Case of kidnapping.

The pretty baby had fallen asleep in
her perambuatOr in front of her ia
theirs house on a fashionable street
The nurse was nowhere to be seen. A
shlbbily dressed man, clad i'll black,
looked at all the windows and saw that
the blinds were drawn. 1t was the
afternoon hour, when wealthy New
York likes to drive in the park.
"Ah!" he exclaimed as he crept
stealthily toward the sleeping child.
IF l can only catch her Before she
wakes-so pretty. so peaceful! l know
her father will be only too glad to pay
my price"
In two seconds he stood before the
baby carriage. drew black box from
beneath his coat and snapped rubber
bulb directly in the baby's face. Then
he put the black box beneath his coat
and walked away with a smile of su
preme satisfaction.
Gee" he exclaimed, Such luck,
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12

state. 1t is supposed mat each OF them
is the possessor of at least $10000,000.
Mark Hanna's S10,00o,0O0 is chiefly in
vested i'll the iron business and in
steamship traffic on the great lakes.
Kearns of Utah and Wetmore of Rhode
Island also count their wealth in this
class.
Then there are dozens of senators
who reckon their possessions between
1,0OG. coo and $5,000,O0O. among the
latter being Proctor of Vermont and
Alger of Michigan. In fact, the num-
Der of men in the senate who are mil
lionaires comprises at least one-Quarter
OF that august body.
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12

occupying in Kflmainham. 1t was in
thirteen clauses. Parnell was Mortified.
He insisted that somehow or other n
fourteenth clause should be added.
Once ParneI saw a colleague with
three lights in his bedroom. He was
quite uneasy until he saw one of the
lights put ont. 1 Travelled with him
once when lac had a scarf that lad
been presented to him by lady ad
mirer. There was some green in the
scarf One of his superstitions was
that green was an unluckY color. He
used 20 say, half joke, whole earnest.
that all the misfortunes of Ireland
came from the fact that her color was
green. He was very much put out by
this scarf. 1t was in the days when
the habeas corpus was suspended in
Ireland and we were sleeping on the
mail boat ut I\ingstOwn and were not
to start for Holyhead till next morn
ing. He was quite sure the green scarf
would have US arrested before we left
in the morning.-M. a. Z.
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
Renuties of Fed Tnpe.

A typical instance of the war office
methods is furnished by Il correspond
ent on one of our stations. An officer
having occasion for the use of Il screw
driver made application for the supply
of that humble but handy implement
from the government stores. His appli-
cation was banded about in the usual
manner from officer to officer and final
ly reached the upper authority, from
whom Il reply filtered back by the same
devious ways TO the effect that screw
drivers were only supplied i'll tool
boxes and not singly. Nothing daunt-
ed, the officer at once applied for a
box of tools and after the usual cir
cumlocutOry tactics was Informed that
boxes of tools We're only supplied
to carpenters shops. By this time the
officer, who had quite forgotten what
he had wanted the screwdriver for,
had thoroughly entered into the spirit
of the campaign, and his next appIica-
ton was for a carpenters shop. He
got it.-London Tit-Bits.
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
Rich Toga Wearers
Senate is Richest Body of Men in the World
One-quarter MiIIionaires.

rne west. lie commands more ready
cash than any other capitalist of his
section and is chief stakeholder in
twenty banks scattered throughout
Washington, Idaho and Oregon. 1t is
said that il fOrty-eight hours he could
mass $3,000,000 in any of these banks
to his own credit.
Mr.. Newlands. whose wife, a daugh-
ter of the late William Sharon, former
ly United States senator from Nevada,
brought him a large fortune. is proba-
bly, worth $15,000,000. much of which
he made by speculation in real estate
in the District of Columbia
Another new senator who has been
member of that body only since last
January is John +. Dryden of New
Jersey. who is credited with S10,000,-
900, nearly all of which was made in
life insurance. He began operations
with an Office staff numbering but
three all told and an outfit costing not
more than 5000. Today he has under
his supervision over 10000 persons in
all parts of the country John Kean.
the other New Jersey senator. is rated
at $5.000,000, mainly Inherited.
The richest man in the senate is w.
\. Clark of Montana. Probably he him
self does not know how much he is
WORTH but his income. is said to be, ST.
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
o1iver Cron,SNell.

Newburg priory claims the distinc-
ton of sheItcring the remains of Oliver
Cromwell. After the protectors death
on his lucky day. Sept. 3. his body was
elnbalmed and, after lying in state for
some time. was inferred with regal
pomp in Westminster abbey. After
the restoration his body, along with
those of Ireton and Bradshaw, was ex-
humed and hanged on the gibbet at
Tyburn. The heads. so the story goes,
were struck off and placed on the top
of Westminster hall. while the bodies
were buried beneath the gallows. On
the other hand. it is said that another
body was substituted for that of Crom-
we'll and that the protector was buried
secretly on the Hambledon hills. At
all events. at the top of Newburg pri-
DRY there is Il narrow room. one end of
which is occupied by ii mass of stone
work built into the wall. Here, it is
said. the remains of Oliver Cromwell
rest
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
Xmas Day of Terror
Hard Lines of the Players Who Entertain
Theatre Crowds.

In the vaudeville houses where con-
tinuous performances are given Christ
mas day strikes terror 20 the most
time hardened dramatic soul
The doors. open anywhere between
$50 and 1880 a IN. and close 1T abopt
midnight The headliners play their
customary two turns. but those lower
in the dramatic scale play "on de-
manG," generally about four times. II
an act is particularly weak, it is used
10 chase" out the audience-in plain
English, TO tire it into leaving the
house and making room for the line
waiting in the lobby.
The low salaried vaudeville actor.
therefore, eschews any Christmas din
ner aad HES himself To the nearest
quick lunch counter, there 10 feast on
turkey sandwiches, eXecrable coffee
and pie as heavy as his spirits. BY
the time he has done his last turn on
the stage he is more ready for bed than
for the festive board.
To the unsuccessful actor Christmas
is likely to bring that blessing of the
Rialto, a turkey date"
Scattered within easy access of New
York are numerous small cities, or,
more properly speaking, towns, where
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12

good shows never come. OF these TEe
catchpenny manager keeps Il list. and
on quick notice he scours Broadway
for cheap. unengaged talent. from
which he organizes his company. re
hearses it hastily in some playhouse
conveniently idle at the time, rushes
some cheap printing upon the poor. un-
suspecting town and lands there
bright and early Christmas morning.
The population, show hungry, vel
comes the holiday diversion and packs
the town hall, matinee and night.
The actors are thus assured of Il
good Christmas dinner and supper and
a percentage of the box Office receipts.
Usually these are divided according TO
the Importance of the roles played by
the actors This will tide them over
until New Years day, which brings an
other turkey date"
Many an actor now featured on
Broadway has played his share OF
turkey dates" one in particular tells
how, with five associates. he put on
The Clemenceau Case" not abashed
that the cast called for no less than
twelve capable actors. and was quite
radiant over the returns OF "One Christ
mas dinner with trimmings" and Sl2j
to be divided among the actors.-Wash-
ington Post.
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12

SENATOR FRANCIS G. NEWLANDS.
greSS We're several whose great Ior-
tunes will aid in maintaining the repu-
taton which the American house of
lords has gained as being the richest
legislative assemblage in the world
The senate has long been called a
.'miliionaires' club" but it has never
had so many rich members as at pres
en-. their combined wealth being es-
tiIaated at S290.0OO,O0O. Three new
members of large wealth who have
just entered the exclusive circle are
Weldon b. Hepburn OF Idaho. Levi
Ankeny of Washington and Francis G.
NewlanGs OF Nevada.
Senator Hepburn. who was married
only the other day, is the fattest man
in the upper house, being of such gen
erOuS proportions that Il special chair
of extra size had to be built for him
before he could be seated among his
cOmfrpres. He is five feet ten inches
tall and weighs 329 pounds. Senator
Hepburn is said to possess one of the
most robust appetiteS known on the
Pacific coast, but whether or not this
reputation is deserved his girth is six
ty inches, and his wealth is $200O.000.
Senator Ankeny is tall and slender
and is known as the Russell Sage of
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
The Postmnn,s Knock.

The British postal service may be
slower than the American. but it has
its humOrs. The story is told that in
one of the remotest districts of Oxford
shire-which contains some innccessi-
bic and primitive yillages-there has
long been Il subpostmaster with a
wooden leg. In performing his delivery
of letters he drove a donkey cart But
he found it difficult to get up and down.
So it has been his custom to take with
him n tin bucket full of large stones.
These he hurled one by one with steady
aim at the doors of his neighbors as
occasion demanded. That was the
postmAn's knock.
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
The Leoc Pencil

The name lead pencil is a mlsnomer
made correct by custom. The so called
leads of pencil are in reality a mix
ture of graphite and clay Graphite is
word derived from the Greek. mean
ing Ito write" 1t is~a native mineral
carbon OF black color and brilliant me-
tallic luster. To the touch it feels
smooth, somewhat like soapstone. and
it breaks in Il very fiaky manner under
very light blow. 1t is so soft it will
leave Il trace on paper. 1t is sometimes
called plumbago and has still another
name - black lead - from which. of
course, we get the name lead pencil
Graphite is found in the oldest rock
formations, and deposits are to be
found in various parts of the world
the most famous being those at Altai.
in Siberia, and at Ticonderoga, \. Y,
in this country.
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
A DANCE IN THE KLONDlKE
Joaquin MiIIer's story and the Way
He CIinched II.

At one of his lectures just after his
return from the klondike Joaquin Mil
Ter told the following story: ''One night
l was invited 10 Il dance in i miners
cabin. and while Bill Dalton scraped
away on his fiddle we just hOed it
down. But the miners tramped in and
out so much between dances that be
fore midnight the ladies declared the
floor was so slippery they couldn't
dance another step unless something
was done. Then something was done
that never was possible in mining
days in California. Each miner gal
lantly opened his buckskin powder
pouch and sprinkled gold dust on the
floor. And this was repeated through
out the night. And in the morning.
ladies and gentlemen, those miners
never troubled themselves about sweep
ing up that gold dust. They just hitch
ed up their dog sledS ana rode away"
At this point of AIiller's narrative
there was a slight agitation in the au-
dience, an Ominous sign of incredulity,
but Miller was equal to it. With
wave. of his. hand toward one of the
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
a EnIr Onestion-

A hypochondriac who visited Sir
Conan Doyle in the days when he was
practicing physician complained of
"a very bad side" He told his story in
great detail, says the London Chronicle
He put his hand above his waist line
and said:
Il get a sharp pain here, doctor.
whenever l touch my head"
why on earth, then. do you touch
your head:" DR.. Doyle asked mildly.
but dryly
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
A MARVEL OF THE MAILS.
Great Distances That Letters Travel
at Small Expense.

Great Distances That Letters Travel
at Small Expense.
If Il man should start from New
York and travel northward to Alaska.
then down the coast to California and
take ship to Manila and follow the lines
Of travel to Hongkong. to Singapore,
TO Canton. to Tokyo, to Vladivostok,
to st. Petersburg, TO Vienna, to Lon
don, to South Africa and finally to
South America, touching on the way
mt several Pacific and south Atlantic
islands and thence back to his starting
point. he could travel a distance sever
al times greater than the circumference
OF the globe. If he ordered his mail
forwarded to him and left correct ad
dresses behind ut each place the letters
would dutifuily follow him and finally
be delivered 10 him in New York a few
days after his own arrival there.
All that lie would have to pay extra
for this remarkable journey of his mail
would be dollar or two in tolls, which
would represent the charges for for
warding eXacted by some of the cOun-
tries through which it passed. There
are in the post office department at
Washington the envelope of a letter
which travelled in this way 10000
miles and another which came safely
through Il trip of 125,00O miles.-St.
Nicholas.
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12

boxes. he sara, And my oid friend up
there i'll The box, Captain John Hcaly.
will substaE.iat what I say"
1t was a Raster stroke of the poet.
for the house burst into applause and
greatly embarrassed the modest mil
iionaire mining and railroad promoter
of Alaska. who unsuspectngly had ac-
cepted EIiller's invitation to attend the
lecture in the afternoon.
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
KeeDinC Her Auav.

Photogranher-Don't assume such u
fierce expression. Look pleasant
Murphy-Not on your life, My wife
is going to send one of those pictures
to her mother and if l look pleasan,
she'll come down on a visit.-Kansas
City Independent
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
azfved 1Iatnnhnr.

Brethren said an earnest cXhOrtpr
10 Il body of religious workers. ''breth-
ren. remember that there is nothing
which will kindle the fires of religion
in the human heart like water from the
fountains of Iffe'
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
Self Control.

"There's one thing | will say" re-
marked Mrs. Cumrox. land that is
that my daughter Arabella has fine
disposition"
'Indeed:"
Yes. sir. The way she can sit for
hours listening to herself play on the
piano shows remarkable self control
Exchange.
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12
Parncm,s snnerstitions.

Charles Stewart ParnCll was one of
the strongest men that ever lived. but
he had numberiesS superstitiOns. Once
colleague of his brought him the
draft of Il bill TO the cell he was the%
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12

Among The United States senators
who for the first time appeared as
members of that august body at the
opening of the special SESSION of CON
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12

The talent of success is nothing more
than doing what you can do We'll and
doing we'll whatever you do without Il
thought of fame.
Rock Island Argus., 1903-12-12

Daddy VIII pay SIS for dozen or those
photographs; sure thingr'-New York
Times
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1903-03-17
PER SONAL POINTS.

{. Z. jewell, of Geneseo, is visiting
with friends in the city.
NJ. II. Sexton is expected back from
the west tomorrow noon.
Mrs. William Barnhart, formerly of
Rock Island and now of Evanston, is
visiting relatives in the city.
Miss Rose Stewart left this after
noon via the Santa Fe to visit her
brother at Oklahoma City.
William Bowman has returned from
GeneseO, where he attended the flu
neral of his aunt, Mrs. William Small.
Miss Sheppard, of Warsaw. spent
last night in the city en- route to visit
her sister, Mrs. j. w. Foster, at Rcy-
nolds.
Mrs. J. \. stiles, of Rockford, is
visiting with her brother, F. l.. Hall,
and attending the school of instruc-
ton of the o. Z. S.
Mrs. William NJ. Boyer and daugh-
ter Lois and Mrs. Augusta Gehrt. of
MuScatine, are visiting Mrs. Augusta
Littig, 1910 Eighth avenue.
Miss NJ. Dietz today resigned her
position as information operator in
the offices of the Central Union Tcle-
phone company. Mrs. Arthur Coe has
also resigned as toll operator.
Mr.. and Mrs. +. II. Haddicl>, for
merly of Sherrard, who lave been
visiting with relatives in the city for
the past week, left last night via the
Rock Island for Anaconda, Mont, to
reside.
Mrs. Mary Goddard. grand matron,
and Mrs. Mate J.. Chester. grand sec
rotary. of the Order of the Eastern
Star for Illinois, who are here con
Quoting the school of instruction at
Odd Fellows hall, are the guests of
Mrs f. Il. Harrington
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1903-03-17
SOCIAL DOINGS.

The Young Peoples league of the
Central Presbyterian church held a
lawn social in the Sunday school
rooms of the church last evening.
The decorations gave very realistic
appearance and the affair was highly
successful. The league held a bust
ness session and elected the follow
ing officers:
President-W. o. Talbot
Vice President-Mrs. John Hazard.
Secretary-Mis Blanche Bromley.
Treasurer-NIrs. L. NJ. Titterington.
Chairman of the Social Committee
Miss Katharine Gest.
This evening the EpwOrth League
of the First Methodist church will
give reception in the Sunday school
room. The members will entertain
the leagues of Davenport, Moline, Mi
Ian and Spencer Memorial church.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1903-03-17

mer, Frank Welch, George Evans.
The delegates are also instructed for
DR.. j. f. Myers for assistant super
visor and Edgar Cronll for collector.
Meeting In the Second Ward.
\ meeting of democrats of the Sec
ond ward was held at Naab's meat
market last evening at which much
harmony prevailed. 1t was voted to
unanimously indorse the candidacy of
II. w. Ward for alderman. Mr.. Ward
upon being appraised Of the action
taken stated that his business inter
ests would prevent his making the
race. so a committee representing
those who had assembled last evening
called upon II. c. Wehling and Undue
ed him to become a candidate before
the primary in the ward this even
ing.
Mr.. Wehling is a strong man in ev-
cry way and should he be nominated
he will add to the party's strength in
the Second. Friends of e. c. Berry
are strongly supporting him as n
candidate before the primary and 9th
ers may develop before the day is
past,