New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-08-02
THE CHAMELEON.
Continued from first page.

given him. Il have idea what is in this he
said but your husband asked me. when had
said all that I could. to give II yOu. and ask
you to read it
She took It and read the address It an
old letter. frayed by handling; and it was not
addressed to her. She had seen II once before.
ITO my Mother in Heaven" She opened IT,
while Charges went TO the window and stood
looking out.
Il have read your letter to me-" il began, ab-
ruptIy. What was there in my father which
has come down to me? You saw tonight that
could not tell the least little story exactly II
happened. Why did lie about the conductor
7 did not mean to. 1t came out before was
aware / only wanted to make the story sound
well Do you call that lying. up where you areF
Perhaps should not have called IL so before
had your letter. but things seem different now
Am I going TO wear out my emotions and
grow tired Of everything? Why do I suspect
that shedsv is fonder OF Kate. and even OF
Slim. than he is OF me? Why do I care. so long
as he is fond OF me. to have him fonder OF me
than anybody else? And you know that it isn't
onlv Shedsy; it's every one; want them all
alto like me best. Yet they don't Why
should they? 1 wonder II am honest in ask
ing that question. do really think am
cleverer and pIeasanter than the rest, even while
I'M DENYING it? God knows. and you know. too.
i
sets me? Do care, really, what. people think
of me: really want them TO like me? If 1 did,
wouldn't take more pains to make them Ike
me? You know 1 take pains It Is rather a
curious thing 10 boast about. but 1 don't take
pains / will set It down squarely, as the truth
I don't care whether people like me or not.
What then? Is it only that I want them 70
notice me-have I fallen that low now2
You want me to be genuine Aren't we all
L any ME a=rY~a
out of capering and grinning to amuse people?
Do YOU think 1 am pleased with myself when I
catch myself wondering what Tom, Dick and
Harry in the streetcar are thinking about me;
when I raise my voice they can hear me say
something witty? Do you think I like 20 know
that give the best of me- The cheap best OF
me. to anybody happen to meet for five min
utes? Do you think 1 like TO keep pumping and
pumping and pumping, when I'm with my
friends for fear they should find out that the
reservoir is all empty-that I gave it all TO a
man who went by half an hour ago and VIII
never think of me again? Forgive me for these
questions: know you know that it is all tort
ure to me; only. your letter made me think
of these things, and thinking of them hurts
Why do I do them all? Isn't it because can't
help it? And isn't that being genuine?
Mother. 1t doesn't help me to tell me TO b
genuine Don't you see, that only makes ma
think about myself, and thinking apOuJ nlySTi+
is all the trouble. If I could only forget myself
for little while. forget myself completely.
would go in rags / might treat people like a
brute but Godl I should be happy, If only.
for a little while might stop thinking of my
self of what I ought to do. and just do,
Mother, you have the ear of God, ] am sure.
for you were honest when you were on earth.
and YOU suffered. So won't you take this
prayer of mine and lay it at His feet-a petition
to the King? God. let me feelI Hate. OF love.
or al ony. or happiness, just let feel. This is
my answer. mother, TO your letter You know
it ALL already, I am sure. Don't desert me,
don't hate me for it. Don't forget that 7 am
your son. Francis Howell Bradford" And
there was a postscript in pencil God forgive
me: know you never can. 1t is quite true;
while wrote. I was conscious that vas writ
ing well Well this is goodby.
Were you to see him, Father ClargesT'
Yes"
Tell hin-teu him believe him. please" Her
voice was empty OF expression Charges looked
at her; then he hurried his errand.
Looking at his watch. he saw that he could
not even reach the car line before three-the
hour when he was to meet Bradford There
was a recollection in Clarges's mind OF which
he had said nothing to Amy. He did not admit
that he was worried. but remembrance of Brad
ford's face and actions OF his final remark
Il will wait for you until three'-spurred him
on Nevertheless, the rector's heart was higher.
as he rode down toward Cations. than IL had
been for long time Like Bradford. he had
tasted honesty; and though it left him con-
scious OF himself he felt that at least his effort
had not been thrown away. AS he was think
ing Of this the car stopped, and seemed to re-
main still for long time Charges looked out
and saw line of cars ahead
How long is this going to last?' he demanded
OF the conductor. Maybe FIVE minutes. sai&
that functionary; and Charges waited impa-
tientIy five seven minutes; then they moved
on slowly They stopped again half block on:
five minutes more. and they had not yet started
Charges he did not know why, began to grow
had telephoned Bradford TO wait. He decided.
II nothing happened in three minutes. TO take q
cab The interminable three minutes came TO
an end and he walked quickly down the street.
looking for a cab He had one at length, and
was rafting away downtown. With every step
his anxiety increased. and he told himself he
was fool What had Bradford meant by that
sentence Of his-"I shall be we'll. this time to-
morrow? Probably nothing Yet IL seemed 10
Charges that he must get out and run; anything
to lessen the time before ne reached Bradford's
office He got there at last 1t was five minutes
past four. The elevator crawled UP TO the top
floor. not fast enough for his hurry He asked
the red uniformed attendant for Bradford.
Mr.. Bradford has Just gone, sir.
Gomez
Yes, sir
Impossible. He had an appointment with