Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-16

Even the milkman and the watered
milk joke has it's ancient prototype In
an epigram by Martial who wrote In
the first century Of iae Christian era
In fact, he hints at many ideas that
have done service in modern times as
subjects Of jokes.
He is particularly hard on women
who use cosmetics to heighten their
fading charms and who lie about their
age.
Women Lied About Age.
Cicero, the famous orator, on GER
tain occasion, when he heard Fabia,
prominent woman Of fashion, say she
was 80 years old, slyly remarked, THAT
is true, for I've heard her say 1t for
the last twenty years"
A Greek epigram tells Of an un-
ground scandal in this fashion: Some
say, Nicylla, that you dye your hair.
What nonsense! Why, it's as black as
can be bought in the market"
One Of the most surprising modern
writer is the account given in Alciph-
ron, a Greek writer Of the second CEN
tury, A. D., Of "Rube," who was TAX
en- in by a sheelgame played just as
the modern thimble rigger plays.
A poem pretty we'll known In this
day tells of an absent minded Dutch
man filled NIT grief and shame" be-
cause he couldn't get through his head
which he was Of two twins Hans
that was living or Yacob that was
dead"
This Is just a little change rung on
the story of the fool in the Greek Jest
Book of Hierocles, "who, meeting one
Of two twins, the death Of one OF
whom he had heard of, asked, "was 1t
you that died, or your brother"
Irish Bulls Before Ireland.
There was story current some lit
tie time ago about an Irishman who
made q bet with a fellow workman
that the latter could not carry him IN
his hod up ladder to the fourth story
Of building. The workman put Pat
in the hod and laboriously ascended
At the third story he stumbled and al
most fell, but gained his equilibrium
and finally completed the ascent In
safety.
"Well," said Pat, when he was SET
down, you have won the foive, but Oi
must say that when ye tripped that
time I had hopes"
Now, this joke has its basic princi-
pie in an old Greek joke about man
| who agreed to pay the doctor a fee II
the latter cured him. When his wife
| demonstrated with him for drinking
heavily when in high fever he ex-
claimed, What, do you want me to gel
we'll and have to pay the doctor his
fee?"
An instance Of an Irish bull is found
in the same Greek Jest book in the
story of the fool WHO was almost
drowned the first time he tried tc
swim. Whereupon he swore he would
never go near the water again until
he had learned to swim.
The modern joke about the loaned
umbrella Is certainly recalled by the
following: "Antiochus once set eyes or
Lysimachus' cushion, and Lysimachus
never set eyes on his cushion again"
Husbands Henpecked In Greece.
Numberless instances might be Civ.
en- Of ancient jokes upon henpecked
husbands, upon the .undesirability Of
the marriage state after one is in it
of the caustic remarks Of woman ha.
ters; Of men making fun Of theil
wives (behind their backs), Of clair.
voyants, misers, legacy hunters, etc
In fact 1t is the man who Is typical
of a class that in all ages has had tc
bear the brunt Of the sarcasm directed
against the class. 1t is the concrete
Instance Of the abstract idea.
Much might be written about the
humorous and bitter remarks In an
cient literature upon women. MISC
gynism was rife in ancient times;
more so than at present, for one Of the
greatest instances Of the worlds prog.
ress is the improved position Of wo.
men. In Greece, especially, woman was
looked down upon, and her position
In the best days of Athenian history
was an inferior one.
| This accounts for much Of the bit
terness against the sex to be found ir
Greek literature.
| Gibes at Married Life.
| One man, Simonides of Amargos
wrote a poem, in which he describes
the nature Of different kinds Of wo-
men by comparing them successfully
to hog, fox, dog, mud, sea water
an ass q weasel, a mare, an ape and
bee. OF these ten kinds the last Is
the only one approaching respecta-
bility. The poem winds up with this
sentiment: God made this supreme
evil-woman; even though she seems
to be some good, when a man has got
] her she becomes plague"
Socrates, who doubtless had reason
for thinking as he did, on account OF
his shrewish wife, Xantippe, used to
say when he was asked whether 1t was
better to marry or not: whichever
you do you will regret it," and once
on being asked what act of their lives
people most commonly repented of, he
replied: Marriage. Tribune