The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-08-26
CHANCE OF
 PROGRAMME

When Deacon Abner, Perkins Of the yillagc of Grafton had beena wldower for two years, he married Sarah Ann Bridges, a splnstcrof thrty-slx. Sarah Ann had been a frlend!of the deceased wife for several years, and when Mrs. Perkins was told that her days were numbered she called the deacon 10 her bedsldcnnt said:
 "Abner, y1u will mourn for me, but you will ge married again in a couple of years. You'll need somebody to wash and mend and bake and keep things going. Sarah Ann Bridges iB good tempered, a good housokceper and hard worker, and I'd rather you would marry her than any one know.
 The deacon jotted down the inltlalr of Miss Bridges name on his memory. and in due time called upon her and made her his wife. He was glad. Sarah was glad, and no one had any criticisms to make. A hundred differ. cnt people said they knew Sa,ah like a book. and that the deacon couldn't have done better. He Thought so. too, for three or four weeks, and then he began to doubt. One morning the new wife suggested new window curtains for Che parlor, but the deacon turned to his store book and proved to her thnt Che old curtains hadn't been up but seven years, and that they ought to do for seven years more. li was the first time hc had crossed her. and Sa. rah flushed up rolled her eyes and then fell down iu lit A doctor and three or four women worked over her for two hours and finally brought her back from thc grave. and thc purlor win doNs had new curtains Che next day. That was where Deacon Perkins made his mistake. but hc did not realize ], until later on. Sarah's sudden illness was supposed to be due to a weak heart, but it is no great trick to fool a doctor once or twice.
 Ten days had passed, and the new wife was cleaning house. when sew. Ing machlne man came along He hadn't fold half bis story when Sarah decided that she must have machine The dcacon's frs, wife always had done her sewing by hand, and the bus band himself he'd regarded sewing machine as an invention oi SHt0n. He promptly put his foot down on thc con. tcmpla.cd purchase, and sarah as promptly reU iu a heap again. lt was long th.cc hours before she was about Che house again, and upon tht advice of thc doctor the deacon bought thc sewing machine
 A month later, when Sarah wanted new shoes and was put off, she fell oye' for the third time On this occasion however. thc doctors suspicious were aroused. and SO were those of some of the women who had helped Co dra" her back from thc grave. lt was de clded Co loo case of sulks and nothing more dangerous The doctor stated his belief Co the deacon. and thc deacon agreed with him. but that didn't mean that Sarah Ann would go out of busi. ness.
 The next nt she had lasted twenty four hours before the doctor was called and the next thirty-siX, and then Dca con Perkins realized that he had q prol lem Co deal with. It was evident that Sarah would lie right where shc fell for a week unless something was done. He went to thc minister. Minis tcrs are not supposed to bc posted o' stocks and bonds and brickyards, bu most of them have had experience with wives. He made suggestion.
 Two weeks later that suggestion wa put into practice. Sarah Ann wanted ; bell on the front door, but the dcacoi promptly replied that an callers coulc make themselves heard by pounding on the door with a club Sarah fell down ir one of her usual fits. and the deacon cried out that she was dead ai Inst and rushed for certain ncighbors They came. together with the doctor Tho latter pronounced the woman dead and the women began preparing ti' body for its last resting place.
 There were three of them. and the, had a good deal to say. They congrat ulated the deacon with all their heart on regaining his freedom, and the! married him again to the Widow Lee The doctor advised that the chcapes kind of a coffin should be purchased As the deacon bent over her be said shouldn't have much Of funeral pro cessiou and wouldn't shed any mor' tears than be could possibly help.
 Sarah Ann slipped off the bed ant made for the broom sitting on end in corner of the room The dc1coi Jumppd for the door, but received 8 couple of whacks before he could gc' out. In the yard he was run twlc' around the henhouse and Into th. Kitchen before being brought to bay.
 sarah Ann, you are a dead won anr' he exclaimed as he grabbed fG the broomstick.
 "No; I ain't cltherw she replied a she fought him or.
 "Go back and behave yourself an don'l disappoint me again. Thcrr hasn't been a funeral in town for oye' q year. and if you come to life thi' way no woman will lend you cup o' sugar or natiron.'
 But Sarah Insisted that she wa alive.
 "Hut l want you to understand. said the deacon, anxious to test th' remedy. "that I shan't sit no new can seat chairs for the parlor, as you want .I ..a. H..