The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-08-16

I NoLE JONAH was the only sailor
in our family, and that was one
too many. Undeterred by his
Christian name. he ran away from home
in boyhood and began his notorious ma
rine career as stowaway in an Aus
tralian clipper. 1 can understand that
the family life must have Jared upon
him, for my grandfather was a Metho-
dist preacher of the narrowest type and
Uncle Jonahs boyhood was soured by
surfeit of chapel going and long family
prayers.
For twenty years or so Uncle Jonah
held no communication with his be-
reaved family. who alluded to him as
"a lost vessel and regarded his prob
able decease with eQuanimity. Then he
reappeared with rings in his ears and a
roll of bank notes in his pocket, and
his early follies were condoned. Unlike
most sailors. Uncle Jonah had developed
| thrifty habits. For the first week or
/ two his reputation as a man OF sub
stance enabled him to sponge" upon
the frequenters OF the village inn, but
after that people began to resent his
stinginess and the hospitable stream Of
| free drinks ceased TO flow, thereupon
| Uncle Jonah went no more to the Goat
and Compasses and began to tire of
pastoral life Soon he went afioat again
/ securing the command of tramp
steamer bound for the gold coast with
cargo of square gin and condemned
rifles.
I babe him farewell in the Southampton
docks one bleak evening in February.
| His parting words astonished me-
| James, my lad he said boastfully.
I'm going TO make my fortune this voy-
age and IL ever come lack I'll make a
gentleman of you"
+, The doubtful prospect of becoming
gentleman without individual exertion
did not lure me into idle habits. There
was the chance, too, that Uncle Jonah
might be drowned. l pursued my voca-
ton las we pressmen phrase iD until
rose to the position OF reporter on the
Daily Scum"
Years passed but no tidings of Uncle
Jonah ever reached me until one day,
| in he ordinary course of business,
was sent to Bow Street police court TO
write ND a case of piracy on the high
seas that promised TO afford good copy
The intelligent reader will have guessed
that the accused person proved TO be my
Uncle Jonah. but I need hardly say that
I was wholly unprepared TO find a rela-
tive IN the dock.
Nv professional zeal enabled me to
stiee any emotion that might have inter-
fered with the business IN hand IL
man possesses the true journalistic IN
stipct he is capable of writing descrip-
tive article on the vivisection of his own
father and will take pride in the task.
recognized Uncle Jonah directly re
stepped into the dock. He was aged
n little. for his black beard was streak
ed with gray and his keen, ferrety face
had grown haggard. but he did not ap-
near TO be greatly castdown by LIS
misfortunes. To say that ne pore
himself with dignity q took the liberty
| of saving this in my reporp would De
Inaccurate. Uncle Jonah never mao
I anv dignity. being one of those ia
mtl,ar. vulgar persons in whose com
pany even the dignity OF others wltncf
like a leaf in autumn. His eyes explored
the dingy court and rested for MN
lutte on the reporters table lie reeos-
nized me and winked.
The evidence taken that morning WIS
purely formal, and, pending the attehu-
auce os some important witnesses. the
| nrisoner was remanded in CUSTODY.
foresaw that the coming trial couid De
,,ada IN excite exceptional interest
cases Of piracy being comparatively
rare. was eager to secure the Efs'
interview" with Uncle Jonah ana 10
this end l played the useful card OF
our relationship for all ii was WORTH
The inspector of police. after pocket'he
sovarieen. confessed himself IN
willing TO resist the appeals OF me
nrisoner's beloved nephew. was per
nttted TO spend half an hour IN the
ell On condition that l made no pro-
tasstoral use of the interview. The eA-
,nanc,es of journalism obliged me TO
pledge my word to the inspector
,bonqb I foresaw the impossioiltY oil
keeping the promise.
| Ana this is the story of banned piracy
as told by my Uncle Jonah relate =
&c nearly as possible in his own words
emitting his Iurid maritime explieatiVes
I'm these days of keen competition
said Uncle Jonah. its no sort OF good
nv lad. trying 10 run a pirate GRAZ
on old-fashioned lines. hundred years
aeo or maybe fifty, one could anoro t'
shin a strong crew and give the men
fair percentage of the profits, but now
adays there's the stokers and engineer
TO settle with. the coal bills something
awful and you must employ few tram
cd eunners besides. steam's played Ole
Harry with piracy and spoiled the siav'
trade. To start with, there's the cos
Of the plant. Eighty years ago they
couId build a wooden line OF battieshlp'
for 1OO,O 600 quid; now you can't buy
4oo-ton steam yacht at the figure Well
I needn't go into details and there ism
time. but even a landlubber can SCI
that only millionaires can run pirate
on their own"
Then how did you get the money L