New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-02-21
TIE TALK OF THE DAY.

Perhaps the most novel musical event on record
was the telephone band concert attended by all
Hawaii a few weeks ago. The Territorial Band,
formerly the famous Royal Hawaiian Band, leader
Captain Berger, went to Hilo on Its annual WISH
The band ordinarily is stationed at Honolulu ana
was to return there in a week. The HaWahahs
were wild over the music, and requests for the
band poured In from all over the island joking
remark of an acquaintance about playing into
phonograph' gave Captain Berger the IDEA OF the
telephone concert The telephone company gave
enthusiastic cooperation, getting their instruments
in shape notifying subscribers, etc, and from 70
O'Clock of Sunday afternoon business communlca-
ton was suspended through all its exchanges Fully
eight hundred phones were included In the sys-
tenn The band played In the city OF Hilo' slganuc
trumpet receiver connecting with speclal s"ltch-
board being placed close to the performers. The
arrangement worked perfectly. and not COM
plant was received. The concert was literally
heard all over the island
THE MERRY WAR MANGUVREs
Out Ger the oceans mighty breast
Loud rang the lannon's roar;
Upon the cruisers bridge there stood
Iieutenants 1 to ".
The admiral so stanch and true
w Then tS S4cmaf S his hat imaginary
Bullets their way.
Imsginsry P biood w SCI re esa''
Imaginary sea wolves fed
Throughout the sunlt day.
Imaginary shot and shell
The admiral then raved and tore
For Well he knew that down below
Lay on the messroom floor
Imaginary sailors in imaginary gore.
Imaginary wounds they hao'
imaginary parents sad.
And wounds and blood galore
The admiral then turned unto
Requesting him referee
To figure UP the score;
And getting out his little book.
He sadly sighed and said:
According to the latest rules.
Imaginary shot and shell,
imaginary minds now tell
That the sharks have ted.
--(Porter Emerson Brown, IN Ihe united Sef'lce
The March number of THE Home Missionary
the monthly ma gazine of the Congregational Home
Missionary Society, will be omitted, and in April
will begin new series with a form and prob
ably q new name. There will be entire change
in the form of the magazine and a great enlarge
ment in its scope. Until the new title Is copy
righted the society is not prepared TO announce
the new name. subtitle will be "A Journal of
Christian Civilization" The Rev. Dr. Joseph B.
Clark will be its editor
Too stngy.-Casey-Av all the close fshted ould
msers that liver Oh see Dolans the worst.
Cassidy-O, it's the family trait wid HIM nL va
niver trait man, let alone family.-(Phila-
delphia Press.
The Smith family and the Lewis family to
have reunions at the st. Louis Exposition, and all
persons of those names expected to be present
Smith Day has not yet been assigned, but E. c.
Cuip secretary of the committee on ceremonies.
has announced September 23. 1904. Lewis Day,
which is appropriate, because it is the anniversary
of the return Of Lewis and Clark the explorers OF
the Northwest Territory, to St. Louis. The Smiths
are arranging for anniversary also. Lynn
Smith of Pennsylvania, who is in charge of the
interests his family, is collecting money to erect
a building on the exposition grounds. to serve as a
Headquarters and loa1ng place for everybody bear
ing the name of Smith. All men named Smith
will be welcome occupy the chairs the porch,
and all women who have acquired that noble name
either by birth marriage have the use Of
the dressing room to straghten their hats and put
a dab of fresh powder on their faces The building
will cost about $4,000
1.-The Old Order Changeth." "snaggs has an idea
patented that he expects to bring him millions"
What is it,"
"a device to change a bicycle into automo-
bile."-(Baltimore Herald
When the snow lies deep upon the ground the
automobile fails to equal the sleigh for recreation
and amusement But upon the long. broad stretches
of Florida beaches with their miles of hard packed
sand the seIf-motors have rivals.
Retort:-Husband drritablyl-It isn't year since
you said you believed our marriage was made in
Heaven. and yet you order me around If
wasn't anybody.
Wife (calmy)-Order Is Heavens first law.-(New-
York Weekly.
classification 'Matrimony." is taken from recent
issue OF The Melbourne Argus:
Advantages celebrated any denomination. by
clergymen. with due soemnity. in strictest
privacy, at Hollis Matrimonial Chambers. 4ls
9geen-st, Melbourne opposite old Cemetery. or
days included mo notice required). Marriage fee
los. Cd; marriage, with guaranteed gold we'd
ding ring and necessary witnesses provided. 81 Is.
More costly wedding rings Iii stock II required.
Marriage certificates supplied with above
riages are same as these supplied by leading
ministers OF Victoria