The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-06

older members took occasion to have some l fun with the novitiates. A school of jour nalism was the medium through which the fun was made. The stage, so to sneak was set for newspaper office, and the talk In the editorial council" was calcu- | lated to amuse the Gridiron guests. Who wrote this circumstantial ac- count of the proceedings of the senate in executive session?" was asked, for in stance, because it looks like a fake" | "oh3 no,'' was the prompt reply, that's straight. Senator Bacon brought it in himself"
 Senator Baeon who was one of the guests, joined heartily in the laughter which followed the reply. The three candidates were subjected to an examination. What would you do," one of them was asked, If you were di- rected to get definite statement from Senator Allison?'
 T would resign my job," was the prompt reply.
 "If you wanted to get tip as to when a revolution would break out in Colombia, what would you do?" continued the ques- tioner.
 
 T would camp out on the White House steps," said the wise newspaper man. Then the candidates were given their assignments-one to interview the Presi- dent regarding the man in Oshkosh who has thirty-seven children, another to get General Grosvenor to figure on the age of Ann, and another to procure a copy of Senator Scott's speech nominating President Roosevelt for second term. The greatest excitement in the newspa- per office occurred when one of the staff rushed in with the announcement that Senator Hanna had declared that he would not be candidate for the presi- dency. A telephone was instantly rung and the news apparently sent to the White House.
 ."The President, remarked the club member at the telephone wants to know if an affidavit goes with the an- nouncement."
 The burlesque on Panama, already mentioned, was color scheme, all of the participants being in costume While the orchestra played the Rogue's March, a dry goods box, mounted on a two- wheeled truck, was brought in by hotel porter. The box had big interrogation point on each one of it's sides. To the rear end of the box was attached a gong. When the box had been deposited in the space in front of President Coolidge, the gong was rung and Panama" emerged. hls appearance in such fashion creating much laughter and applause.
 'I am the republic of Panama" the man in the box announced.
 Great graft" exclaimed a member of the club, who appeared as the demo- cratic party in the guise of donkey;
 but this is sudden!'
 'I'm the suddenest thing that ever hap pened," asserted Panama, whereat there was again much laughter. There was a lively dialogue between the army and the navy with representa- tions of the treasury and postoffice de- partments occasionally chipping into the game, and Panama in great distress lest | the canal money should get into the cus- tody of the postoffice department Final ly under the persuasive influence of a stuffed club, Panama was induced to produce a large roll labeled Treaty"
 Get back in your box. Panama" was the next command. That is all we want of you"
 And then to the trumpeting of the G. 0. { P. elephant the praying of the democra- tic donkey, the hurrah of the Columbian army. and the chorus of Yankee Doodle, the participants in the picturesque pre- sentation of a recent event withdrew from the banquet hall.
 With the memory of Prof. Langley's airship still fresh in the public mind there was an appreciated touch of humor in the attempt of a gridiron committee on aero nautics to lauch a flying machine that would carry presidential candidates from the banouet hall to the white house. The machine was a box with real wings and sail, the latter being hoisted each time new passenger was taken aboard, ana consisting of large sheet of paper, upon which an appropriate picture was sketch ed. .'Uncle Joe' Cannon was one of the candidates first invited to take seat In the flying machine.
 ..How long have you been in congress?" MT. Cannon was asked.
 'Ih1rty years, was lne rePiy' "And how long have you been speak, er?' -Four weeks"
 well" remarked his inquisitor, eff 1t has taken you thirty years to become speaker, you will not live long enough for this car to carry you to the White House."+' ~
 And so Speaker Cannon was sent back to his seat.
 For more or less substantial reasons. the other passengers, after being seated in the car, were excused from trying to fly with the machine. At this, however, ex-Representative Charles A. Towne, of | Minnesota, and Representative J. Adam Bede of the same state were invited into the car. There was some question as to the ability of the machine to carry them, but it was the unanimous opinion of the | experts that two lightweights would not be in danger. The result however. was | that they wrecked the machine and they were left sitting among the debris to l condole with each other on the collapse of their brilliant expectations. | Still another feature of the dinner was the adaptation of series of moving pie lures of current events. For instance | an automobile that blew up was sup posed to typify Tom Johnson's experience in Ohio; a wrestling match in which one man was used as a mat to wipe up the t-&~