Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-06-20

than one occasion my graphic deScrlp-
ton of the MIXING pains of slow star
walton has reated such an appetite in
the minds or, rather, in the digestive
apparatus, Of my auditors that they
subsequently devoured manipulated
mutton under the pleasing impression
that they were dining on chicken Gro
quotes.
! It is perhaps needless to state that
the fame of my sea story spread be-
yond the confines of my own home.
The marine word painting was all the
more appreciated because of the geo
graphical location of our inland city.
At the club they were never tired Of
listening to the tapping of the waves
against the corrugated sides of the me-
tallic life raft Give me three minutes
start they said, with spanking
breeze abaft the mizzen, and it was
bowsprits to Delaying pins that Clark
Russell could not overhaul me in an
evenings time.
Whenever a guest of distinction was
present at the club my sea story was
expected as a matter Of course. Upon
such occasions 1 would make the wind
roar through the rigging and the an
Choir chain rattle through the hawse
hole Every time the vessel careened
would bury her rail under breaker
and then, as she righted herself, you
could fairly hear the water gurgling
out through the scuppers.
But to return to the French admiral
and the affair Of honor which has been
town talk for fortnight. Personally
have done everything possible to
quiet the wild rumors regarding the
encounter in the banquet hall, but they
reoccur so persistently and are so
grossly distorted that feel forced to
plain statement of facts.
1t seems that the fellow had been
foisted upon the club by an obscure
member named briggs. For two even
ings this obtrusive Frenchman had mo-
nopolized the general conversation and
wearied the members with verbose ac-
counts Of alleged adventures in five
quarters of the globe. On the third
night Bradlee was delegated by the
long suffering ones to wait upon me
and demand my immediate presence on
penalty.
"you see" he explained, "it is a mat
ter of self preservation. This French
admiral is making life burden for u.s.
Because we happen to be stranded
thousand miles from salt water he i'm
AGNES us capable of swallowing his
three masted lies. You must come down
and make him take water. Just heave
to in the offing until he gets well under
way and then cut him out. Crowd on
all sail ana give him run for his mon
ey. When you have overhauled him
bring every gun to bear and squirt a
broadside of gloom into his most vul-
nerable parts. You are the only man in
the state that is qualified to throw the
grapples into his rigging and board
him on equal terms. Remember, there
is to be no quarter. Make him strike
his colors or send him to the bottom.
tive, but you can doubtless follow the
main drift of my remarks"
Now, l leave it to the most cold
blooded if any one could withstand
such an appeal as that No man Of
honor could hang back and see his fell
low countrymen put to shame by a for
eign invader. Besides, there was every
tional yacht race or naval duel be-
tween two first class men-of-war.
Lead on,'' said; ''this night will I
deliver you from the jaw of the enc
N.Y.
When we eventually arrived at the
club the Frenchman had already hoist
ed his mainsail and was heading for
open water. At my entrance every one
smiled save the admiral He held to
his course and minded not the secret
signals which passed between the mem
bers. If l remember correctly he was
loaded with rum and teakwood and
had half the crew down with scurvy I
waited until he had drif;ed for three
days, without a cloud in the sky and
the sea like huge shield of FURNISHED
brass. Then Bradlee gave me the wink
"And no one," / said, "can better ap-
preciate such a situation than myself
have lived through it day by day,
hour by hour, minute by minute. On
Feb. 49,
Just then the Frenchman made a
noise in his little black beard which
sounded like the explosion of wet
firecracker. He cleared his throat, he
stamped his foot, he said things which
are fortunately untraaslatable. 1t was
all to no purpose. BY that time I was
in latitude SO degrees and some min
utes, and the most terrible storm
which had ever visited the southern
hemisphere had just sheared off our
masts like so many pipestems. Seeing
that he was clearly outclassed, the adj
miral relapsed into an armchair and
never again opened his lips until the
crew of the Gloucester whaler pulled
the German passenger off the metallic
life raft and threw the first mates
thigh bone to the sharks.
Then the little man sprang up.