The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-03-27

Copyright, 1903, by Robert Howard
Russell.)
Once there was a Nice Girl who
graduated from the High School IN
a White Organdie and read an Essay
on Heliotrope Paper entitled, Life and
it's Opportunities"
The Girls Name was Hazel and
about, the time she drew the Diploma,
she was eating Sour Pickles and just
crazy t. be an Authoress. A few
Months later she Debutted with a
Fanfare of Trumpets, after which she
was so busy Strengthening out her
Dates and sorting over her Dance Pro-
grammes that she forgot all about her
Literary Ambitions.
Hazel was built on the Gibson Plan
and it looked as if a good fresh Breeze
might blow her away. Just the same,
when she went to a Hop she was good
for everything from the Grand March
to Home. Sweet Home" All she need
ed to keep her on the Jump thrOugh-
out the entire Night was a dab of
Chicken Salad and a MacarOon about
l A. NJ.
Hazel stood in with the real Rowdy-
Dows and was present at most of the
tall Doings but she was a trifle shy
on Wardrobe. Papa had a large Fam
lily hitched behind his IOwly Apple
Cart and he could not provide Hazel
with very many Snake Rings and Dia-
mond Belt-Buckles.
So foxy Hazel had the Weather Eye
at work. She was looking for some
thing Kind and Easy.
OF course, she like the Boys she
met at the Dances. They were lovely
Chaps n kept their Hair cOmbed
nicely. Each one of them owned an
other Suit of Clothes and a Banjo, but
Hazel was not looking for a Banjo.
She was hoping for a Perfect Gentle
man who would hand her a Check
Book and tell her to go as far as she
liked.
Therefore,, when an Elderly Bache-
lor with an Income of several Dollars
per Minute began to hang around, she
h~earkened to the Voice of Reason.
Hazel found herself in a swell Shack
right on the Boulevard with IA Vas
sails to do her Bidding and a Change Of
Jewelry for every Hour in the Day.
Husband would arise at 1880 and pike
to the Office but Hazel would take her
Coffee in Bed about 1920 and then
read the Sassiety Notes, for fear that
her Name had got into the Papers.
Then she would have her Hair done
up and permit two or three strong Ser
wants to lift her nto her Clothes Then
she would go out for a little Ride in a
Royal Equipage, padded IA inches deep.
All this time, the Money-Getter would
be answering the Telephone with one
Hand and debating Contracts with the
Other.
AT $50, when the Producer showed up
for Dinner, he was a Faded Flower
and had about as much Gimp as a Wet
Towel. But Hazel, when she began to
sniff the Night Air. was just as kitten
ish as a BrOnchO and keen for a FrOlic.
She was for taking in a chaste and in
structive Musical Comedy and then
having a tasty little Supper of about II
Courses.
If the Producer tried to lie down n
claimed h it had been a Hard Day
at the Office, Hazel accused him of be-
ing a Slobsterine and intimated that he
ceased to Love. After sitting round
all Day, Hazel was not laundering for
any Quiet Evening in the Library. She
wanted to get out and hit up the High
Spots and dazzle the Public with her
a. 1 Exhibit of Precious Stones.
Papa knew that if he did not go. she
would call up some of the Liv Ones
and leave him behind. He wanted TO
be game. SO he would trail along and
hover like a Dark Cloud at the Out
skirts of the Happy Group. The only
time any one paid any Attention to him
was when the Check came.
Hazel a him going South most of
the Time.
If he ever started to rise up and de-
clare himself, she would give him a
sweet little Kiss, right on the Forehead
and tell him to lie down and Behave.
There is only one Finish for the de-
luded Mortal who tries to work on a
Day Schedule and at the same time COW
er the Bright Light District with the
Night Shift. He winds up as the Prin-
cipaI Attraction of a Daylight Function
at which six of his old-time Friends
wear White Gloves. Every n sends
Flowers but he does not have to &C
knowledge them.
Hazel looked very we'll in Black but
it was Hard Lines for her to stay in
doors. She knew it would cause Talk
II she cut loose UGlOTe the CTdSS was
Green in the Family Lot. so she was
pulling for an Early Spring and plenty
of Rain.
When she bought her Second Ticket
for the Merry-go-ROund. she was de-
termined on one Thing.
1.-The ext one 1 pick out will not be
tied down to any Office" she told her
self. Il want a Man who can keep
awake all Evening. I refuse to travel
with CUTTERS. What We need in this
Country to put Ginger into our Social
Affairs are Gentlemen of Leisure who
begin TO get Good along about Mid
night"
So she picked out a handsome Wretch
of Good Family who never had worked
a Moment in all of his Life and who
hated the sight of a Bed.
- H-c