davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Fun Between Foes.

After General Ben viljoen had cap
tured the forts at Helvetia and the Al
gun Lady Roberts, his greatest exploit
in the Anglo-Boer war, he had a little
fun with General Smith-Dorrien,
which he describes in his recent vol
ume of "Reminiscences"
II have been obliged to expel Lady
Roberts from Helvetia," he wrote to
the British commander, 'this lady be-
ing an undesira BILE inhabitant of the
place. l am glad to inform you that
she seems quite at home in her new
surroundings, and pleased with the
change Of company"
General Smith-Dorrien replied in the
same spirit and promptly:
.'As the lady you refer to is not ac-
customed to sleeping In the open air,
would recommend you to try flannel
next to the skin"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
A CITY OF EXTREMES.
In Butte, Mi1lionaires Rub Elbows
with Ragged and Dirty Hobos.

In Butte, MilIionaires Rub Elbows
with Ragged and Dirty Hobos.
Surely no city ever knew such ex-
tremes, such contrasts of life, as Butte.
Here are millionaires democratically
rubbing elbows with out-at-heels hobos;
for here opportunity, gambling chance
for wealth, has attracted both success
and failure. Here are college gradu-
ates, foreign noblemen, Cinnamon, Ital-
ians, Welshmen, and dozen other ma
tionalities, with miserable remnant
of the aboriginal Indians, all gathering
and fraterniZing in this little isolated
city. The chief of police has a check
list Of six hundred ex-convicts who are
residents of the city; but that fact
alone is highly misleading 1t does JUS
tice to the active better element, for
here are no fewer than twenty-eight
church orgaagizations, with numerous
fine church edfices, the services well
supported, and well attended. Here are
crewding saloons, 1t is true, but here
are also some of the best equipped Of
schools, housed in unusually fine
buildings, really notable library,
college of mines set on the bleakest of
bleak hills without an inch of lawn or
a tree anywhere near it.
You will hear of the activities of the
Woman's Club and the doings Of the
Theosophical Society, and there are So
cial gatherings which differ not at all
In the proprieties or in resplendence
from those Of the favored East. On the
other hand, you will hear, in the same
breath, related with no more surprise,
as though it were the most common
place OF Incidents such a story as this,
some of the details of which came un-
der my personal observation: Two
prominent young society men having
differed over baseball game, one chal-
lenged the other to personal combat.
They drove out to roadhouse, chose
seconds, stripped to the waist In the
presence of a considerable company,
among which was the father of one Of
the young men, and fought out their
differences with bare fists. Nothing
ever seems unexpected In Butte; what
ever happens is SO much added to the
public entertainment.-Ceht
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
OLD
FAvORlTES
A Dutch Lullaby.

A Dutch Lullaby.
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe
Sailed on river of crystal light
Into a sea of dew;
Where are you going, and what do you
wish?"
The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring
fish
That live in this beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we,"
Said Wynken, Blynken, and Nod.
The old moon laughed and sang a song.
As they rocked in the wooden shoe
And the wind that sped them all night
long
Rufied the waves of dew;
The little stars were the herring-fsh
That lived In that beautiful sea;
"Now cast your nets wherever you
But never afeard are we,"
So cried the stars to the fishermen
three
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod.
All night long their nets they threw
For the fish in the twinkling foam
Then down from the sky came the wood
en- shoe
Bringing the fishermen home.
Twas all SO pretty a sail, it seemed
AS If it could not be,
And some folks thought twas a dream
they'd dreamed
OF sailing that beautiful sea;
But T shall name you the fishermen
three
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod.
Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes.
And Nod Is the little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the
skies
Is wee ones trundle bed;
So shut your eyes while mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
AS you rock on the misty sea,
Where the old shoe rocked the fisher
men three
Wynken, Blynken. and Nod.
Eugene Field.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
s ibrOid IunOrS Cured 1
Note the result of Mrs.
pinkham's advice and medicine.

'sSome time ago wrote to you de-
scribing my symptoms and asked your
advice. You replied, and I followed
all your directions carefully, and to
day I am a well woman.
"The use of Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound entirely ex-
polIe6 the tumor and strengthened
my whole system. can walk miles
now.
"Lydia e. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound is worth five dol
lars drop. l advise all women who
are afflicted with tumors or female
trouble of any kind to give it a faithful
trial" (SigneO MRS. E. F. HAYES,
252 Dudley St., (Roxbury) Boston.
Mass. 5000 for 1eit If original of above Iettsy
prouing gen2ineness cannot be produced.
Mountains of gold could not
purchase sucl, testimony OF
take the place of the health
and happiness which Lydia e.
Piakham's Vegetable Compound
brought TO Mrs. Hayes.
Such testimony should be accepted
by all women as convincing evidence
that Lydia e. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound stands without a
peer as remedy for all the distress
ing ills of women all ovarian troubles
tumors; infammations liberation,
falling and displacement Of the womb /;
backache; irregular, suppressed or
pain;rl menstruation. Surely the
volume and character of the testimo-
Mai letters we are daily printing in
tile newspapers can leave no room for
doubt in the minds of fair people.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
a MINISTER'S SNAKE STORY.
Few Laymen Could Produce a Bette
Article in That Line.


Few Laymen Could Produce Better
Article in That Line.
DR.. Watkins, the veteran missionary.
who has just returned from four
months evangelical trip through the
outlying States, tells strange story
of a wonderful snake which he killed
in an old, abandoned shaft of a mine
down in the State of Guerrero:
"My attention was attracted one
day" says Mr.. Watkins, "by the hor-
rified cries Of an Indian miner who
came running toward me, his face
CHA silly with fright and the perspira-
ton dripping like raindrops from his
brow. The man rushed up and cast
himself at my feet, where he lay
trembling and gasping. AS soon as he
was able to get his breath he told ME
that he had been seized by horrible
monster which had suddenly sprung
upon him from one of the hidden re-
cesses of the mine, and that he had
narl owly escaped being drawn down
in its embrace.
my curiosity was aroused and pro-
ceeded to the mouth of the shaft with
the man as soon as could induce him
to return. We looked down. bat in the
dense obscurity could see nothing.
Drawing my revolver. l made the man
20 down into the shaft a way, assur-
ing him that no harm would befall
him. as l would follow close with my
cooked revolver ready for use.
1.-The miner did as I commanded and
had gone down for a number of feet,
when suddenly from the dense black
ness 1 saw a huge and indiscribabIy
hideous head with wide open mouth
shoot up. The jaws of the creature
were wide open, showing its sharp
fanged teeth. it's mouth looking large
enough easily to take a man down
at one gulp.
"1The miner screamed with terror
and l feared he would lose his hold
and fall, but he clung desperately to
the ladder while l thrust the barrel
of the revolver full into the creatures
mouth and fired. With a tremendous
hiss it dropped it's head, and then we
saw it was a huge serpent, like unto
nothing l had ever heard Of before.
''As its struggling body came into
my view | fired again. and the snake,
slipping from the ledge on which 1t
had stretched itself. fell with
squashy thud to the bottom of the
shaft, where we could hear it thrash
ing about in struggles which momen-
tarily grew weaker and finally ceased
altogether Then we went below.
fastened rope about the bedy of the
reptile and hoisted 1t to the surface.
There was then unfolded before our
eyes the most hideous creature man
could ever dream of. It's head was
like the huge stone head of frightful
ly carved Chinese dragon. Its body
about the middle was as large as
mans thigh and its length was so
great that l dare not say how many
feet it measured. l very much regret.
ted being unable to preserve the skin
and bring It back for the study of
scientists. but was compelled to leave
it behind. Mexican Herald
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Her Own Idea.

"Your daughter" said Mrs. Oldcas-
tie after being conducted through the
newly finished wiz g of the magnificent
palace occupied by the Bulliretons,
"has such a splendid vocabulary!"
'Do you think sop her hostess re-
Piled "Josjah wanted to get her one
of them escritoires, but l made up my
mind right at the start that a votahu-
larry would lock better in room fur
MS he ! like hers is even if it didn't cost
quite as muuh,."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
DEAFNESS CANsor BE CURED

By local applications, as they cannot reach the
diseased portion OF the ear. There is only one
way to cure deafness, and that is by constitu-
tional remedies. Deafness is caused by an in
hamedcondition of the mucous lining of the
Eustaehian Tube. When this tube gets in
famed you have rumbling sound or 1mpeE,
deafness is the result and unless the infiamma-
ton can be taken out and this tube restored to
its normal condition, hearing viii be destroyed
forever; nine cases out OF ten are caused by
catarrh, which is nothing but an inhamed
condition of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness (caused by Gatarrh) that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for
circulars, free.
Sold by Druggists, 75c
HALLS Family Pills are the best.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Let Erin Remem Der.

Let Erin Remember.
Let Erin remember the days of old,
Ere her faithless sons betrayal her;
When Malachi wore the collar of gold
Which he won from her proud invader;
When her kings with standard of green
unfurrd
Led the Red Branch Knights to dan
ger;
Ere the emerald gem of the western
world
Was set in the crown of stranger.
On Lough Neagh's bank as the fisherman
strays,
When the clear cold ewes declining.
He sees the round towers of other days
In the wave beneath him shining!
Thus shall memory often, in dreams
sublime,
Catch a glimpse of the days that are
over,
Thus, signing, look through the waves
of time
For the long-faded glories they cover!
Thomas Moore.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Slow.

Wabash-How long did it take you
to do that pictureP
French Artist (proudly)-I am on
gage upon eet for seek months!
Wabash-Just as thought. You're
dead slow over here. Why, I've saw
fellers in Chicago turnin' them things
out while We wait.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
The Barred Road.

"There is only one road to success in
life," said the man who had made his
lucky and retired.
'And how thall / know the road?"
inquired the budding young man.
"Well," +" replied the man with the
lucky, 'you go right along this path
OF adversely until you reach the first
turn to the right"
"Yes, yes"
"And you'll find road barred off
with gate and sign that says, 'No
Tresspassing. Well, that's it."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
The American Plan.

American Youth have come, sir,
to beg your permission to my marriage
with your daughter.
American Father-Has she accepted
you?
"Yes."
"Has she promised to elope with you
if refuse my consent?''
eyes"
s'Bless you, my children. IN. Y.
Weekly.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
THE THREE GIANTS.

The largest financial institutions intte world
are the three great Lire Insurance Colrranies
OF New York. often called '"rhe I'll rec Giants"
During 19t 2 TIE com uined increase in amount
of insurance in force in Oregon i'll these three
COM mpanies was 1851, ,1G9 co.
During the same time the Penn Mutual, OF
Philadelphia, made increase of 81 ,J2S, 125 OF:
There are good reasons for the popularity OF
the Penn Mutual; send for free copyrighted
booklet, "How and Why" Sherman & Harmon
general agents, Marquam building, Portland,
Oregon
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
A MIRACULOUS ESCAPE.
Three Big Grizzlies Frightened OFF
by q Trivial Thing.

Three Big Grizzlies Frightened OF
by a Trivial Thing.
A writer In Outing says that the
grizzly bear, like other ferocious and
resourceful beasts, has its supersti-
tiols side, which inclines him at times
to cowardice, and it was an accidental
play upon this weakness which enabled
hunter, James B. Holmes, Of Pasa-
dena, CAL, to live to tell the following
story:
In August, 1895, Mr.. Holmes was
chatting with guide up among the
Coast Range Mountains, In San Joaquin
Valley, California. AS they talked they
heard cracking Of twigs behind them.
Il believe it's deer" said Mr.. Holmes.
NO." said the guide; but he changed
his mind a moment later, when the
cracking became louder.
They're deer, sure. Look out!' said
Holmes, softly.
Both men were then on their feet
waiting. Mr.. Holmes had a rife In
his hands, and he and the guide stood
watching the thicket above them,
whence the cracking sound came. AS
they looked, the gray nose of a grizzly
was protruded through the foliage,
and the men stepped backward. Mr..
Holmes Is crack shot, but he had
never had experience with grizzlies.
However, the nose Of the bear made a
fine mark, and he raised his rife to
blaze away. He was nearly twenty
yards from the bear. Just as he was
about to fire there was more cracking
of brush, and two other and larger
grizzlies thrust their heads through
the thicket toward the men. The guide
turned pale.
Don't shoot" he called.
Mr.. Holmes lowered his rife.
Run for the hill! Run for your lifev'
yelled the guide.
Mr.. Holmes did not catch the instruc-
tfons to go for the hill, but he ran.
Near the crest of the hill was clump
of trees, and he made for them, hop
The bears, with frightful bellowings,
went bounding over stones and chap
arral after him.
The old male grizzly was nearest.
Just as Mr.. Holmes felt the hot breath
Of this beast, he resolved to do some
thing desperate. He wheeled round
quickly, made last effort to get his
gun into position, and fred. Then he
was knocked down.
The bear buried his teeth in Mr..
Holmes right leg just below the hip,
tearing open the flesh. The pain was
well-nigh killing. The female then
came up and made a vicious snap at
his ribs, but succeeded only In driving
her teeth through pasteboard match
box, which ignited the matches. She
gave an angry roar, shook her head
and snapped at his face, and he gave
his head feeble jerk. It was just in
time. He heard the teeth snap in his
face with a sound like the closing Of a
steel trap. Then he swooned. When
he recovered consciousness and, rising,
reconnoitered the situation, he saw the
larger bears, with the cub at their
heels, disappearing in the brush. Peep
ing over the brow of the hill, he per-
ceived the guide, who rushed toward
him, saying:
"Thank God, sir, you're alive! It's
the narrOwest squeeze I ever saw:
there was one chance in a million for
you to escape alive from three griz-
zlies. The box of burning matches
scared them off"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
A Master Craftsman,

Glorious (fervently)-Do not despair
my young Christian friend. Remem-
ber there is no word like hope.
Poeticus (disdaintuiy)-Is that so?
What's the msttec with soap and dope?
Why, in dialect cou ring in IN 81
ary word you have mind 10 ntmo.-
New York Sun.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
The Evil of Drink.

An Episcopal clergyman of Cincin-
natl was being shaved by barber who
was addicted to occasional sprees. Tie
razor manipulation cut the parsons face
considerably.
"You see, Jackson, that comes from
taking too much drink" said the il an
of God.
eyes, sah,'' replied Jackson, "It
makes de skin very tendah, sab. 1t do
for a fack. ."AChicago Chronicle.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Food and Paper.

Articles of food that are damp or
juicy should never be left in paper.
Paper is simply compound of rags,
glue, lime and similar substances, with
acids and chemicals mixed, and when
damp is unfit to touch things that are
to be eaten.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
For SleepIeSsneSS.

A Canadian doctor, when called TO
prescribe for insomnia, always advises
before drugs are employed a hop pillow
instead of feathers. It is made of a
thin muslin slip stuffed with hops and
hop leaves and sprayed fresh with
alcohol every night before the patient
goes to bed.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
New Danger in Submarines.

The recent explosion on the sub
marine boat Le Francois has revealed
new danger in this type of craft. The
accident established the fact that in
stormy weather oxygen gas escapes
from the electric accumulators.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Garcia Salad.

Cut celery, apples and fresh tomatoes
in thin strips about two inches long,
serve on lettuce leaves with French
dressing. slice Of truffie on the top
adds both to the appearance and flavor.
Good Housekeeping.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
When Snake Poison is Harmless.

Nature seems to have provided that
no poison which acts externally shall
have any effect internally, and vice
versa. Thus the most deadly snake
venom can be swallowed with impuni-
ty, the juice of the stomach presumab-
ly decomposing it and rendering it
harmless.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12

constant sufferers, while others have on
but either kind is wearing upon the
stiffness in the muscles and joints, and
the blood settle upon the valves o. the
heart and ends suddenly and fatally.
It won't do to let Rheumatism
run on. It is dangerous disease, and
you can never tell where it is going to
strike. Home remedies, p1asters, 1ini-
ments and such things as produce
counter-irritation, are soothing and
may relieve the pain temporarily, but
the polluted, acid blood cannot be
reached by external applications.
Rheumatism must be treated
through the blood, and no remedy
brings such prompt and lasting relief
as S. S. S. It attacks the disease in
the blood, neutra1izes the acids, and
removes all irritating poisons and e
S. S. S. strengthens and enriches
lates through the body, the corroding,
are dis1odged and washed out of the !
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Pride.

Pride does not consist in imagining
yourselves better or cleverer than other
people. 1t is. rather, shown in a sem
sitive, irritable temp er toward others
and an undue anxiety as to their opin-
ion Cf you.--Rev. w. E. Pently.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
A New Life.

There Is a new life granted to you
by coming in contact with Christ
These are things upon which science
is dumb But in Jesus Christ you have
the solution in fact-the only one ever
given since the world began. We are
constantly experiencing things we
cannot explain.-Rev. A. G: Garrett.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
His Opening.

Chumley-How much have you got
in your bank, Johnny?
Johnny-I'll have just dollar when
you give me quarter. New York Sun.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12

An All the Year Round Disease.

Rheumatism does not and go with winter
time always; in fact some suffer more during the
Spring and Summer than at any other season. When
the blood is charged with Uric Acid A1ka and other
irritating poisons, then the system is in the right
condition for Rheumatism to develop, and attack
is liable to come at any time, Winter Summer.
Rheumatism, because it attacks different parts of
the body and is sudden slow in its action, is given
various names such as acute and chronic, muscular,
aricular mercurial and sciatic but it is
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Patience Rewarded.

SMITH hear Short, the coal man,
has come into large fortune.
Jones-Well, he's entitled to it.
Smith-Oh. he is, eh?
Jones-Yes. He's been lying in
weight for good many years.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Singular Statue.

There is only one statue in Great
Britain with an umbrella. This is to
be seen at Reading and represents Mr..
G. Palmer of biscuit fame standing
bareheaded with a silk hat and um-
brella in hand.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Charity of the Fair Sex,

He-Mrs. Powderleigh certainly has
a lovely complexion.
She-Yes, indeed, and she ought tc
be very grateful to her husband.
He-Because why2
She-Because he buys her every.
thing she wants.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Warm Advice.

Author-Oh, well, if you don't choose
to publish my story have other irons
in the fire.
Publisher-Oh, you have? If 1 were
you, I'd put this story in with 'em.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
The Reason.

Little Rollo-Pa, why does popcorn
popf
Mr.. Hennypeck-Because, my son,
popcorn, like men, doesn't know any
better.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12

: There are many hot spots In love let
tiers at first, btu after a time long be
fore the marriage-there are but two
at the beginning, and just before the
signature.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Ar Insinrrafion-

Green-Say, do you know how il
feels to be kicked by mule?
Brown-No, I don't-and what'G
more, don't want you to show me.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
The Largest Serpent

The largest serpent ever measured
was a Mexican anaconda, found to be
81 feet in length. IT was measured by
DIR. Gardner.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Weather Deaths.

There are about 200 deahts yearly
in England due to weather. One hun
dred and forty of these are due to cold
and the rest to sunstroke and lightn-
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12

EsTe Permanently Cured SO fits nervousness
gbbS after first lays of DR. hlines Great Nerve
aestorer. Send for FIR EE trial bottle end treat
se DR. R. H KLINE. Ltd. Q3l Arch St. Philadelphia Pa
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
Twas Ever Thus.

He-There are times WREN every
man likes to refer to himself as an
idiot.
She-Yes, but it always makes him
mad if any one else agrees with him.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12

Always shake in Aliens Foot-Ease, q powder.
1t cures chilblains, damp, sweating, aching.
swollen feet. Cure Corns and Buntons. At
all druggists and shoe stores, 25c. Don't accept
any substitute. Sample mailed FREE. Address
Allen 8. Olmstead, Leroy, N.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-12
want Lawvers to Wear Gowns.

British county court judges have re-
ceived circular from the incorporated
law society approving of solicitors be-
ing desired to wear gowns in court.