The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-11-01

work. Then when you are quite re-
highway, step on a small boys slide
and bump, over you go, and back to
the hospital with a couple of busted
ribs. Six more weeks at fifty per-
Why in the language of Brook Farm,
it's a regular cinch."
Even Mr.. Brief smiled.
You wouldn't find it very easy" he
observed.
I'D like to know why not" said the
Idiot. ITO get into smash-up these
days is easier than not. What with
automobiles dashing by at the rate of
five a minute, subway bitches yawn-
ing before your faltering feet, electric
cars booming along the highways like
a Dowie's Army of Juggernauts let
loose, signs being blown off of houses
by heavy winds, the man who claims
that it isn't easy to mulct an Accident
Insurance Company with all these OPP
portunities for breaking his bones on
every side doesn't know what he is
talking about. If / only had the nerve
I'd go into it tomorrow. Then there's
the tariff schedule of the trolley COM
panies-why they're a regular mint
Do you know what the law says a
mans toe is worth If a Trolley car cuts
it Off"
Mr.. Brief confessed that he had not
looked into the matter.
Twelve hundred and fifty dollars!"
cried the Idiot. That's what the law
says. If l were to have my littliest
pinky removed tomorrow by an cleo
trio car, the Court of last resort says
to the treasurer of the company: Sir,
that will cost you $1,250. Pay up and
1 get a cheque for that amount by re-
turn mail. Of course $3.50 of ii goes to
the lawyers, but it leaves me $1,000 net
that / can use, instead of one small
digit that really doesn't cut much of
a figure in my business. AT that rate,
every man living carries about with
him at all times of the day and night
a snug little fortune of $4,000 hidden
away in his socks. That's just for him
self alone. If he happens to be mar
ried man with ten children he has UNI
der his control assets amounting to
S120, 900 all there, and negotiable every
time the bell rings. Some day when
our Banks and Trust Companies realize
the cash value of a mans anatomy,
thew won't be so coy about lending
money to a chap who can't put up
three times as much as he needs as
collateral security
"Verv interesting indeed" said the
LAWYER. but even If you negotiate all
your toes $4,000 won't go very far IN
times like these. After your toes have
You are on your uppers, OF course,
said the Idiot, land then your fortune
begins to come in more rapidly. A leg
is worth $4,000, an arm is worth ten,
your ribs can be negotiated singly or by
the dozen at FIVE hundred dollars
apiece, and as for your ears, good
ear brings anywhere from $1,000 to ST.
500. tell you, gentlemen, every man
in these days is n regular Klondike, and
is so denominated by the repeated YER
diets of the law"
"And your neck-I suppose that Is
the most valuable of all?" asked the
BibIionnaniac. What would they pay
you for that?"
mot a cent" said the idiot. "Some
necks have brought $4,000 but the
money goes to the owners heirs and
assigns. That is one of the inequali-
ties of the law
Silence ensued. broken only by the
rustling of Mary's skirts, as she pass
ed the steaming buckwheat cakes.
Here, I sayl" cried the Lawyer, as
the idiot transferred the whole dozen
to his own plate Don't take 'em ALL"
"Sir" replied the idiot, reaching for
the syrup. you have just been COM
planning that we neglect the legitimate
opportunities that confront us. Do be
consistent 1 am only availing myself
of one of mine"