Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-10-24
WHATTHE WOMEN READ

ouSy Jury or a New Jersey moSQuAeo-
smudge. don't you just love to have your
| wife get hpld ~ the newspaper first and to
rifle and Wixsit up until there's no more
| head nor rtail, 40 it than there was to that
old Secon9e Reader that you used to fum-
| ble'in 3ch99l back in the los, so that. when
she hands it over to you, it takes you about
eight minYtes TO get back to consecutivitly
and even ,the1-it feels like it had been in
the bottom Of the market basket for
week, or played with by the kittens for
few days-hey,, don't you? And did you
ever notice how woman reads news
paper, anyhow? How she passes up the
first page. as If 1t contained nothing but
eiectlon advertisements. until the last
Well. justto give you an example. At
ter dinner last evening l started to fill my
pipe and was Juggling my Star around the
room With me so that ID be sure TO have
When l wanted it, you know-had 1t
tucked under my arm, SO that, as soon as
! ! GOT the old pipe a-going. l could flop
GOWN and go through it systematically.
but my wife saw it there, and she archly
pulied 1t from underneath my arm while l
was driving straw through the stem Of
my pipe Then knew that was in for
the OLD performance. She pumped herself
INTO a rocker by the window. and, without
casting airy glance at the headlines on
the front page. which is the first thing
.hat man with newspaper invariably
|
NTH page, messing the paper almost into
us original pulp as she did so, and pro-
| ceedeo to find out who's dead and married.
| as she puts it.
! oh, the Fi-lfaces have got a SON. she
exclaimed the first thing, and then l saw
her LOOK UP I'D do lot of queer figuring
on the ends of her fingers. which. of course.
was all Greek to me-had no idea what e
was ABOUT And, goodness gracious, who
10 you thinks married-been married ever
since last Aprn--and the announcements
Jus. puphshed-why Susie Spinachseed!' and
again she fastened : gaze upon the chan
delier ard started in to doing that singu-
lar hguring on the points of her fingers
| ana Gertie Gitalongs married, too-was
married IN Baltimore observation-disclosures
uei why she went to Baltimore to get mar
Tied-Who can her husband be?-name's
Pefkins. but 1 never knew her to go with
ANYBODY named Perkins-maybe it's run,
away match-but g1ojr ess gracious. sakes
allVe, Gertle pie. d-fashioned girl
70 De hsurlng in a ru.- 1ay-why, she's
oluer IMAM am-we went to the Franklin
| School together-and she was always at
| ieast four grades ahead of me! Well
thank heaven. Gerties married off at last
my put what a tug she has had of it,
| On, old Mr.. Hadcoin is dead.' she broke
CUT ABOUT an eighth Of a minute later, and
| no" suppose we'll see those fast Had
| com boys spiurging around more than ever
| -old MI. Hadcoin was as poor as church
| mouse when he first came to Washington
| but he got awfuly rich holding on TO real
had chance to buy just acres and acres
| OF ground out there for cent a foat or
| something years and years ago, when he
| hrst came here, but he didn't think that it
| would ever-dear me- old Mrs Hardroad is
! dead, tool must surely go there tomorrow
1T almost broke her heart when her
! daughter Minnie went on the stage, and it
| never comforted her in the least, either,
! when Minnie began to earn, oh, just hun
d. eds and hundreds of dollars a week as
chorus gdrl,don't they pay lots of money
! to those sahefus girls for just standing
| around and trying to look pretty?
by thls time l had the pipe going in
good shape and was pretty willing to get
a clutch on that Star paper and find out
| It was notuss. My wife interested in
/ that papers, and when she gets Interested in
| paper there's no use in trying to tear it
! away from her,
| 'Cm-u 4 she broke out about second
| after her announcement of the death of the
| old lady,1with. the chorus-girl daughter
| here's an advertisement for one of those
! winter trips to the West Indies-,ny dear,
| can't we t4kesefie of those trips Tins year
| only umpetty-five dollars for thu round
| trip. anfi you've got two Weeks of your
| leave comings TO. XOu-and I'll just Oct you'll
| be too .fa9ishly Conscientious 20 ask for
I that leave-dear me, some men are 50 polk
| lly CONSCIENTIOUS ,,. about Their o. mean old
/ Il got to thinking about he7iot of things
! that / knew were in the paper AMI that
! wanted to find out the sequels Of, but-what
! was the use? 80,
/ "'Oh, Skann's is having sale of Cleo
| patra scarfs-and Pm just aching in every
| bone for Cleopatra scarf-grac.ous s4kes.
| will pay day never GOMEZ was what fol-
| lowed next. ! was just about to ask her
| what the dickens a Cleopatra scarf was
| when she went right ahead: AID tomor-
row is going to be a big day a: the Maison
| Royal fer zhibiene suits. and 1 know that
I shall just perish off the eartn if 1 don't
have a zhibilene suit this year-ail of my
! VT dc how hn,, oil .1tr
| Haunting them in my face wherever l go
| OH if pay day would only come
land there's going to be big special
sale of bedspreads at Fansburgh's tomor-
row, and tomorrow is crOckery day at Syl-
| venberg's, and they've got the ioveliest
jardnieres there you ever saw, and cheap
as dirt and here's the advertisement for
those lovely rain coats-you need a rain
coat terribly-that I saw in Walks window
| today, and-oh, dear me, how crazy I am
for a brass bed, and here are some selling
| for only $25-and there's going to be a dis
| play of linens at the Fall River House to-
| morrow, and such pillow shams as l saw
there today for only $3.4S-oh, 1 wonder
how the show at Cases is this week-when
are we going, my dear. tonight or tomorrow
night"
| "Then she went over the auction sales
| the Personal and Lost and Found col
| umns. the Houses for Rent column, al
though heaven knows why, considering that
| we've been living in the same house for
! seven years and have no idea of moving
| and then she read aloud all about the win
| ter tours to California and Colorado. with
! the stuff about the sapphire country and
| the sunset land and about fifteen minutes
! later, when the paper looked as if it had
| been blown about in an equinoctial storm,
| and the creases where the pages turn had
| all been bent out of shape and page II was
| twisted into the place where page ought
/ to've been and the whole sheet was in
Iopsided and hopeless tangle. she tossed it
| ack to me. saying
"'Dear me- there's nothing much hap
pening in the world. Is there?'
After about five minutes of careful and
| patient work l finally got the paper
| straightened out SO that could take a peek
| at the first page.
Great ScottH I said as soon as 1 saw
the headlines, the Long bridge has fallen
| in!
| 'JJm-that 500 she said, musngly-she
was out in the bed room by this time fixing
UP her hair. and her mouth was full Of
| hairpins Are we going to the theater to-
night or not my dear"
| "'And, by Jove! 1 went on, we win that
| Alaskan boundary case!
| 1.-The what" she asked me. in an indif-
ferent sort OF tone
"'Why, that tremendous wrangIe with
Canada about, the Alaskan boundary, you