Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-11-18
LIGHTER SIDE
 OF CONGRESS.
Our Statesmen as Viewed by
 a Capitol Guide.
SURPRISING INFORMATION FOR 25o.

Tragedies of Nations Treated as Jokes by Legis1ators-Hanna, De- pew, PIatt CT. C.) and Tim Sullivan UnconscfousIy Gridironed - Where "Uncle Joe" Cannon Escheyvs To- baccO.
 "Yes, congress has its lighter side," said the capitol guide, breaking away for the time being from his stereotyped lecture, says the Washington core spondent of the New York Herald. "Only a few senators, Charles Little field, Billy Sulzer and the country edi7 tors, take the thing seriously all the time.
 ''Now, there is Senator Hoar down there; appears to be scolding. Listen. He is scolding-something about the prerogatives of the senate and the dig nifty of Massachusetts. Look at the Ohio election smile on Senator Hanna's face, and you will see how deep an impression the statesman from the grand old state of Massachusetts is making. But, then, Uncle Mark would laugh at a funeral. He had fun with Colombia's funeral at the theater the other night. He and the president sat in adjoining boxes, and when the mob chorus became particularly violent and swayed over toward the presidents box Senator Hanna called across: Look out, MT. President! Here come the CoIombiansp That's how these chaps sometimes treat great in- ternational questions-the death of one nation and the birth of another"
 "Reallyg' said the demure young schoolteacher from Iowa, glancing at l Senator Hanna with a severe expres- sion.
 And, speaking of the birth of a new nation" continued the guide, "do you see that nan on the front seat in the diplomatic gallery? That's a Frenchman from Paris. He is the min ister from Panama. He thinks he and MT. Cromwell made a republic one night at dinner down at the Willard. As a matter of fact, they did. Last year this NJ. Philippe Bunau-Varilla was a regular attendant at all the sen- ate lobby meetings. Inconspicuous, mo- body inquired who he was. Now he flashes across the international frma- ment the minister plenipotentiary of the last born, with a ticket for the front row in the diplomatic gallery.
 s'Yes, that is Senator Morgan down there in the front row on the floor, with his desk piled high with books. What he is saying about the new min ister from the new republic of Panama | B., T., FY1d a words in those books in front of him. If those two ever meet face to face in the corridors and Senator Spooner does not step in between them with com promise proposition few ultimatums will be let loose"
 "What are all those books in front of Senator MorganT" asked bank presi- dent from Burlington, Vt.
 Speeches, sir, speeches.; Senator Nor gan's speeches. Congressional Records and they contain at least two of the senator's brief remarks delivered at the last session. The public printer is try ing to catch up on the others. Too old to talk? Certainly not. Why, he's the youngest man in the senate, barring the quartet of brfdegrooms
 "Ah, there comes Senator German in from the cloakroom, and Blackburn, Pettus, Cockrel1, Daniel and Carmack. Yes, that's Tillman, and there comes Teller, with blood in bis eye.
 t''Yes, that's Clark-Clark of Montana with his f1fty-seven varieties of min ing stock. He is upbraiding Allison for making positive statements in an interview.
 "Yes, that's him-that smile coming through the door That's Chauncey, all right. And that man just behind is Platt-T. c. of New York-youngest man in the senate just now. Stewart and Hepburn? Right over there in the corner, talking together-two men with the big chrysanthemums in their but tonholes. But your Uncle Thomas O.. of New York beats them all-all the bridegrooms, I mean. He came back this fall fresh as daisy and as spright- ly as Beveridge.
 What is it? Oh, that man right on the front seat, way down in his chair? Quay, sir; Matthew Stanley Quay of Pennsylvania, New Mexico, Arizona and Okla homa, also Florida. No, he doesn't say much, but he thinks all right. I expect he'll be tacking state  hood amendments on to the Panama canal treaty. That man next to him is Cullom, busy offering a resolution asking the president for the core spondence on Panama. He's trying to I get it in before the Democrats get to work, if not incompatible with the public interest. By the way, that in compatibility in resolutions of this sort Is one of the great jokes of congress. That man is Alger, former secretary of war. He's got it up his sleeve to get square with few men before he gets out of congress, and I'm inclined to think he'll do it. An, there goes Allison, moving an executive session. It's secret, you know, and you don't know anything about it till the morn ing papers come out, so we had better move along to the house."