Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-07-07
The Mishaps of or Andy Perdue
  By JAMES BALL NAYLoR

 when I suddenly shook myself, yawned, and sat erect in my chair, became aware of the presence of Jim Whiss -seated in his accustomed place, and calmly and contentedly pulling at one of my cigars; and had mot heard him enter. He was leaning forward, his elbows upon his knees, his eyes fixed upon the gas blaze, as though he were striving to stare it out of coun- tenance.
 Hearing me stir he swept me apierc- ing glance from under his jutting brows, and remarked:
 sBeen snoozin', ain't youS' J nodded--and again yawned-
 ~Didn't hear me come in, did your I shook my head--once more yawn- ing.
 Say, look here!'' he growled testi1y. Seems to me I'm goin' to find you mighty poor company, tonight. You're gapin' like a mudcat out O wa ter; must be sleepier'n ol' Andy Per- due was the time he rol4ed off'n his kitchen roof"
 s.How was that, Jim?" I asked clapping my hands over my mouth to stife another yawn.
 'tNever told you, didn't IF"
 stNo."
 'Never told you nothin' bout or Andy ?'-with a shy glance-haf in- eredulous-
 ''Never-not that recall"
 ssWell, I will--if you'll promise not to go to sleep on my hands, like you're in the habit O doin'."
 NI promise"
 4''Au right, then-an' here goeS.~
 He proceeded with his ram mbling reminiscences of old Andy Perdue, punctuating his tiresome drivel with measured pl1ffs at his shortening cigar --and an occasional sigh of regret, as he noted the rapidly accommodating ash on the lighted end. I listened with what interest could summon, study ing his profile upon the wall-as usual --and offering a nod or grunt, at in tervals, to keep him going. For have learned that Jim Whiss is like 8 per- verse and cratic clock that insists on striking out of all order and prece- dent; there is no stopping ham until he has run down.
 ''Ol' Andy Perdue," he began, twas a Quaker by birth, an lived out at Fox town, some 30 or 40 years ago. Was a kin Q carpenter an cabinet maker an the slowest, sleepiest, laziest, dilatoriAst mortal that ever dFawed the breath of life. Wy, he was so damned lazy he didn't want to die feared he might have to kick an strug- gle little, right at the end. His wife aR boy went off on a visit one time, an was gone week. Andy was too lazy to cook his own meals; an' jest turned in am slept the whole seven days an nights. The time he fell offm his own kitchen he was patchin' the shingle roof; an he went to sleep in the hilin' sun, an rolled off. Jest walked up long enough, as he fopped over the cave trough, to holler-I say dead!' an then hit the ground kerslap-an' went to sleep ag'in.
 "An' slow--he was slower n the seven-year itch! Teller took a baby cradle to him, one time, to have new rocker put on it.. We'll, sir, that p'r- tic'tar piece Q furniture was kicked 'round. the shop fer over 20 years. Then one day Andy gits in a splutter an drawls: < "tBy the way, I've neglected to fix Solomon Rafter's baby crib, thee knows; an I must do it right away 7, 'SThe blamed lazy ol' scamp pitched in an put on new rocker, shouldered the cradle, an toted it home. An what do you s'pose?" | smiled.
 "Well, sir," he res tuned with an air of convincing earnestness, maybe you won't believe it, but OF Sol met hem al the door, a'bowin' an a-smilin,' an says:
 "sI'm nightly glad you've got that cradle done an brung it home, Andy 1; we're needin' it-an' was jest start i'm to come over after it. The gal we wanted to rock in it has got baby of Ger own, now, an we was wantin' this cradle pow'rful bad. Thank you ever 70 much fer bein' so prompt an ac- commodatin'.
 "W'y, the ol' poke was so slow peo- l ple used to leave standin' orders for cofins years ahead I worked for 6l Andy one winter; an know aA about it, Feller from Stonebury come into the shop one day, aR says:
 "'Where's Andy?' 1 "sOut,' said I.
 "&Bs back soon?' says he
 "ACan't say. Nobody knows bua him; an chances is that he don't Want to see him on business?'