Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-02-04


it's not that. It's worry.-Pick- me.up.
Wigg-As n painter do you think he
will be able to make name for him
self? Wagg-He ought to. You see.
he's sign Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Landlord-I will give you just three
days to pay your rent. Artlst-All
right; suppose you make 1t Thanksgiv-
ing. Christmas, and the Fourth Of July.
Life.
"What is Synonym" asked
teacher. Please SIR" said lad, "lt's
Il word you can use In place Of anoth-
er If you don't know how to spell the
other one"
Interviewer-How do you account
for your love of music? Drum Major
Well, when me father was young he
was n furniture mover. and wan day
PLAINLY fell on him.
''Shure, Dim no partisan, Jerry. OF
vote fer the best man." AN how en-
yez tell which wus tn best man till
afther tn votes ARE counted, Din
ny?-Colorado Springs Gazette.
$50 you had successful hunting
tripY' "Eminently successful. We
didn't bring back any game. but no.
body was shot by any of the other
members of the Observation-Disclosures
Star.
Next scholar, spell recipient said
the teacher. Little Elsie did SO. Now
then, what is recipient" That's
what every bride is, cause the news.
papers always says o."-Phiiadelphia
Press.
Biggs-I understand that you lost
money on that chicken-raising expert
ment Of yours. Boggs-Yes, did; but
expect to get 1t all back again. I'm
writing book ON how to raise chico
ens.-Judge
Mae-I got even with Bessie for
snubbing me. Ethel-What did you
do? Mae-I told that young man who
calls on her that she used to be the
best debater in her class Mt school,
New York Sun.
Newitt-The man who can't take
little good advice has nobody to blame
| for his trouble but himself. Sharpe
oh! don't know, he's usually bur-
dcned with lot of friends who can't
give it.-Philadelphia Press.
Blotman-So you have read the
whole of my new story? I'm sure, It's
awfully good of you. Tyner-Not at
all; l did It on the advice Of my doc
| tor. He said l needed violent exer-
else, you know.--Boston Transcript
By the Yonkers Route.-"Yes. he
takes n great interest in prison work.
He has been familiar with the inside
of so many of them" Indeed! As
criminal?" mot exactly. AS an auto
st."-Clevelan Plain Dealer.
A rural exchange has the following
on perpetual office seeker:
He's left this world CT storm and strife;
In spite Of all advice
He ran for office all his life.
And only got there twice!
Atlanta Constitution.
1 He (bittcrly)-You have no heart.
She--What nonsense. He-Its the
truth. You flirt outrageously with
every man you meet. she-Then
must have very large heart to give
a little of it xts..s6 any.-Brooklyn
Eagle.
Greene-Aflss Wilter has brought
suit against Bifllln for breach of prom
Use, naming her damages at $4,000.
Gray-Funny about women! If he had
married her. she would by this time.
perhaps, be telling him that he s-ahec-'
lutely wortlless.-Boston Transcript
| "How does it happen you ran SO far
behind your ticket?" they asked him.
II didn't" said the candidate who had
escaped defeat by the skin of his teeth.
THAT is an unfair inference. l got
the straight vote. The rest of the tick
ct simply ran ahead Of me--that's ALL"
Chicago Tribune.
Did you say Hiram lost that hun
dred dollars of his in Il railway deal2"
YES" answered Mrs. Corntossel, II
didn't know lie was tinuncier." Gle
amt any. This deal was In smokln'
car. They started playin' euchre and
then switched of on another game
Washington Star.
| VIC Sol IL SlCul iuCu. l"
going to Invent an open street car in
which all the seats are end seats.
Griggs-Don't you do 1t. 1t would be
a dead failure. 1t is the squeezed and
swcltering people In the middle who
make the end seats SO delightful
Boston Transcript.
But If you love me, Madeline, why
set the happy day two years away?"
The maiden bowed her head in blush
ing confession. Because, Horace. It
will take me fully that long to use up
my monogram stationery" For you
can't get letter paper embossed unless
you buy n lot of it.-Newark News.
yah, there!" angrlly exclaimed Say
mold Storey, who had curled himself
up and gone to sleep on the sunny side
of IN ash barrel in the alley. "Wot We
pokin' me thataway fur?" "Oxcuse
me, blease," said the ragpicker. drop
ping his iron hook in establishment.
~ It'd not know dere vos man inside
of dem!"-Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. Housekeep-For goodness sake!
What are you crying about? Mrs.
Housekeep-Bridget got mad and left
this afternoon (soD without mo-
ment's (sob) notice. Mr.. Housekeep-
Well, YOU We're going to discharge her
anyway. Mrs. Housekeep-I know
Sob. That's the trouble. She Sob
got ahead Of mc.-Philadelphia Press.
| Coy5dn't Make Him Live.
Senatoi pritchard, of North Carolina.