The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1903-07-17

where. Little pictures of men in short
pants and nothin' else to speak of
goin' through all sorts of contortionin's
with ropes and sticks and things,
a-turnin' of themselves into perfect
men. And Jonathan, with the corn
goin' to ruin, ready to stack and no.
body to stack it, standin' ON one foot,
his hand high on the wall, raisin' his
weight on the tiptoe of the other
eight times in succession, accordin' to
instructions printed large and stuck
on the wall, a-disfgurin' of the wall
paper; then changin' back to the other
foot ag'in; graspin' bar with hands
about sixteen inches apart, accordip'
to instructions, slowly bringin' the
bars near's possible to the floor, bend
in the body to the hips and tensin' all
the muscles when he riz ag'in to a
standin' position and flung that there
old bar into the air.
''All to slow music, he said it oughter
be done, grievin' sort of over not hav-
in the music, till l got to kind of feel
in that I'd oughter quit my dish
washin' and hire piano and learn to
play somethin' or other for him to
handle them bars by, old as l am"
There was silence for a space.
"When he want doin' nothin' else"
she resumed then, ''he was breathin'.
Breathin'! So was 1, but / was hard
at work scrubbin' or sweepin' or wash
in clo'es or dustin at the same time.
whats the world comm to, I'd like
to know" she shifted, "when people
take to stoppin' work to breathe?
"Things got from bad to worse.
First l knew here come big packages
from New York what Jonathan opened
with a hatchet and grins and didn't
lack much of meetin' at the back of his
head. In one of 'em was a rowin' ma
chine. He set the thing on the floor
and commenced pretendin' to row
same's if he'd bin on the river, me
standin' by, 'mazed, watchin' of him.
"'Splendid exercisep pants he.
Splendid exercise for developin' of the
muscles and maxim of the perfect
man!
Jonathan I ventures one day
when he was rowin' fit to kill and the
sun outside burnin' the wheat fields to
crisp, don't you think 'twould be
jest every bit and grain as good exer-
else to git on the thrashin' machine
and thrash away at that there wheat
awhile? It's goin' to the dogs l adds,
actually goin' to the dogs for a little
tendinv And l could "a cried, thinkin
of 'em.
eyes, ma answers he, lookin' up
bright and smilin'-there amt no more
amiable lad livin' than my Jonathan
4 will by and by
"But that was all there was to It,
He kept right on with the rowin' till
the wheat crop was past savin' and
gone.
"There was another thing that wor-
ried me. l amt, to say, overparticular
bout the way people dress, but the
way Jonathan took to goin' bout in his
bathin' suit from dawn to sundown,
SOS he could be good and ready to
climb Il creased pole at minits no.
tice or tie himself in n double bowknot
and wrench himself apart ag'in, jest
'scaped bein' scandalous. That's what
it did! 1t was all right in his room
with the door shet, but he got so
'bsorbed in his physical cultcher he
didn't seem to care no more bout how
he looked anywhere.
"There was Ann Livingston. She
come over to make me little visit one
day. settin' awhile in the dinin' room,
where the breeze blows cool through
the winder, and what should Jonathan
do but pass along the hall in that suit
Of hiS'n, lookin' for his dumbbells. Ann