The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1903-08-22
10 {. FRANCIS GRAY.

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vious reputation, but make no
question of your zeal and ability as
an exponent of Socialism. Your
reply to my playful article OIL The
creed you have embraced places
you in the front rank of Socialistic
disciples. Won possess, III great
perfection, the happy and charac-
teristic faculty of confounding the
opposition by complacently affirm
ing q superior knowledge and vir.
tue in yourself and utter ignorance
aud depravfty in the opposer. The
Hon. Thomas Tewillows used to
say that whenever he met a man
who was so unreasonable as to diff
fer with him on any point, he at
once made up his mind that that
man was fool, a liar and black
guard and told him so straightway;
and with much. reasonableness, he
held that this method extricated
him from many situations which
threatened embarrassment. He was
a Socialist, if not near relative of
yours. Il
YOU have devoted some 1900
words to what you have pleased to
consider q ''reply" to my article on
Socialism. Upon careful examine
ton, I have been pleased to dis
cover that that splendid vocabulary
was entirely exhausted, not in re-
futing anything / said, but in elab.
Grating the Thomas Tewillows
method. You have called me fool,
liar and backyard in sixty odd
ways, and that, to my mind, should
establish the merits of the Social
istic creed beyond bubble.
Now, sir, if my offense has not
been too great, may become pu-
pill of yours2 While you have
shrewdly discovered in me a liar, a
fool and q BLACKBOARD, / may also
confess that am considerable of a
knave, and. | surmise, you will not
dispute the point. ..
Experience and observation have
led me tosuspect that the people who
are mainly responsible for the awful
condition of the world, which So
cialists depict and seek to remedy,
are all liars, fools, blackguards and
knaves. Each individual of the
unholy crowd is not endowed in
equal measure with all of these SIM
lister virtues, but all are more or
less tainted and each has some spe-
cialty. I find, phrenologically
speaking, that on the average, the
lying and knavish bumps are very
highly developed, and there are
few heads without a feelable bump of
folly and blackguardism. Am I
right in the deduction, I am dispos-
ed to make, that the majority of
men are largely controlled by these
wicked bumps? fl am, how shall
we treat the humps? Do you think
they can be reduced by act of the
legislature? And if such an enact
ment will do the business, how are,
we to get legislature which will
be free from those bad bumps? con-
sidering that a great majority of
the voters possess them and are in.
cliued to love them?
You are very severe in exposing
my ignorance of Socialism, and
you have right to be. Now, will
you please tell me what you know
about it? Tell me what you, as
Socialist, propose to do for man
kind and how you are going to do
1t. Don't sail off on the wings of
glittering speculation, but tell me
your process for reducing those evil
bumps which make the heads of
men in general look like topo-
graphical map of Owyhee county.
It has occurred to me that these
devilish bumps have got to be re-
duced before much progress can be
made towards the ideal: am told
by very learned and pious people
that the bumps are thicker and
somewhat larger today than they
were to hundred years ago, and
goodness knows they were bad
enough then. l will be glad to as
sist you in leveling down those
wicked bumps, but you cannot, at
heart, blame me If I doubt your
ability to accomplish very much
through the instrumentality of the
Idaho Legislature or the National
Congress; for I have it on excellent
authority that heads of uncommon
knottyness control those bodies, /
desire you to tell me truly the diff
ference between Bellamyism and
Socialism, between State So
cialism AMI Social Democracy,
Also tell me whether or not Social
ism leads TO Capitalization
and Paternalism. Is there any diff
ference between Socialism and Com
munism, except that Socialism is
more ail-embracing? / have