The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-11-29


out cayoodle The words kept irving
to crawl throurh my aesophagus. and
wfer | backed EN- up, they Slid down
and stood around in groups, hanging
onto the straps, gradually filling me
with witful gems OF thought
The Colonel talked to me serious and
quiet, like | had good ears, and saws,
My man, you can understand every
word | say, I'm sure, and what your OBJ
ject IS in maintaining this ridiculous
silence, | don't know You're accused
of crime, and it looks serious for YOU
Then he gazes at me queer and in
tent, and says, If you only knew how
bad you are making your case you'd
make clean breast of It. Come now,
let's get at the truth
Them thought jewels and wads OF
repartee was piling up in me fast, like
tailings from a ground-sluice. till l
could feel myself getting bloated and
pussy with langwidge.
But I thought. No! tomorrow
"Kink' II be safe, and then I'll throw
jolt into this mans camp that1l go
down in history. They'll think some
Chinaman's been thawing out a box
of giant powder when / let out my
roar
81 goes to the guard-h house again, with
a soldier at my back. Everything would
have been all right if we hadn't run
into a mule team.
"They had been freighting from the
railroad, and as we left the barracks we
ran afoul of four outfits, three span TO
the wagon, with the loads piled on till
the teams was all lather and the wheels
complainin' to the gods, trying to pass
the corner of the barracks. where there
was narrow opening between the build
ings.
':Now a good mule-driver is the
littlest, orneriest speck in the human line
that's known to the microscope, but
when you get poor one, he'd spoil one
of them cholera germs you read about
just by contact The leader of this
bunch was worse than the worst; strong
on whip-arm. but surprising weak on
judgment. He tried to make the turn,
run plump into the corner of the build
ing. stopped, backed. swung, and pro-
ceeded to get into grief.
"1'he mules being hot and nervous
he sent them all to the loco patch in
staneer. They began to plunge and turn
and back and snarl. Before yorr could
say Craps! you lose them shave-tails
was giving the grandest exhibition oi
animal idiocy in the Territory. barring
the taenister. He follered thir trail
TO the madhouse, yanking the mouths
out of them, cruel and vicious.
"Now, one mule. can cause heap Of
tribulation, and six mules can break .
mans heart. but there wasn't no excuse
for that driver to stand upon his hind
legs, close his eyes, and throw thirty
foot of lash into that plungin', buck
in, white-eyed mess. When he did it
all the little words inside of me begar
to foam and fzzle like sedlitz;' out they
came, billing, in mouthfuls. and streams
and squirts, backwards, sideways, anc
through my nose.
"'Here! you internal half-spiled, dog
robbing walloper,' l says; you don
know enough to drive puddle ducks to
pond. You quit heaving that qulrt o.
I'll harm you past healing: ~. - y
''He turned his head and grit OH
something through his teeth that slim
ulated my circulation. / skipped ovel
the wheels and put my left onto hi
neck, lingering the keys on his blow.
pipe like a flute. Then / give him {
toss and gathered up the lines. Say
il was like the smell of grease-paint tt
an actor man for me to feel the rib
bons again, and them mules knew the,
had a chairman who sawed 'en too
and had mule talk pat, from soda tc
hook.
II just intirnated things over then
with that whip, and talked TO them like
they was my own flesh aud blood.
starts at the worst words the English
langwidge and the range had produced
to date, and got steadily and rapid,
worse as long as | talked.
"Arizony may be slow in the matter
of standing collars and rag-time, bu
she leads the world in profanity. With
Cut being swelled on myself. I'll SLY
too, that once had more'n local rep
utation in that line, having origii. &c,
some quaint and feeling conceits which
has won modest attention, and this da,
I was certainly trained to the minute.
81 addressed them brutes fast anc
earnest for FIVE minutes steady, ant
never crossed my trail or repeated ;
thought.
"It must have been sacred and beat
tiful. Anyhow, it was strong enough IL
soak into their pores so that they strung
out straight as a chalk-line. Then
lifted them into the collars, and WI
rumbled past the building, swung il
front of the commissary door, crampec
and stopped With the wheelers OF
their haunches, l backed up to the dool
square as die.
IT wiped the sweat out of my eye!
and looked up into the grinning face O.
about fifty swatties, realizing | was Z
mute-and a prisoner.
81 heard a voice say, Bring me thai
man. There stood the Colonel oozine
out wrath at every pore.
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES