davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18

The psrtrdges smell rather kiFh. ne
only way 70 prevent q thing from EettinE
high IL 20 keep Il on ice"
Hull the way the ice men keep the
price on Zee Il seems TO make 70 hIEhsr."
Philadelphia Press
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18

Though enc imagined love n dons
sull. heaven Is above me.
And bet you I've a little one
Who yet viii bless and love mel
Atlanta Constitution
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18

Bigrs: ''Did you read that article IN the
current number OF Blanks magazine on
The Working of n Bsnk'r'
BiEEs: NO. Was u written by an az
burglar or an sK-eashierT'-ChicaEo Daily
News.
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18
-nnr Drawn ont,

harSs Jim must er been listentn' ter
Eo1ns tsmparancs sermons lately"
How eomsT''
why. he makes = barrel last him rum
July TN Christmas now."LAtlanta Con
Gtitutton
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18

Husband; Ny dear. didn't Il ever occur
70 you that silence IS an effective weap-
onT'
wtfs: TO. Jehn; don't bothe- my
head about military AIairA"-Chicag
Daiiy News
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18

You haven't charged me nearly as
much for half-soliuE these shoes a.
expected"
NO. ma'am We charge according TO
S.zs OF shoo."-ChicaEo Tribune.
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18

Dissatisfied Guest tat skodunk HotsD:
Haven't you any eggplant"
Waiter: sure. It's out IN the barn
vnrd But YOU don't want to order q
whole henhouse. DO youT'-ChicaEo News
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18
An Appreheasion.

De rain Il keeps a rainin'.
Den de sun comes out 30 hot
reckons we Will be blowed up
WIZ steam. as Ike as noti
-Washinrtcn Star
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18
DNERIING HUMOR FROM AMERICAN AND FOREIGN PAPERS
Not Guilty.

''r Euppo-." remarked the ehaTttAh3o
citizen. that you ara ons OF those CHAPS
who think tho world owes them . fvlnG.S
You Do no an injustice. mister" ~
toined the hsrd-luck victim Il never vaa
News
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18
HAD HEARD IT.

Composer: YES. my opera win Be sung
when the works OF Handel. Mozart, Beet
hoven ana Wagner are forgotten"
she: yes. but not until then-"-PioaseT
Press.
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18

DiEgs= "GriEEsby is man who imasinos
he knows Il Bll."
BigCs: why. he Is always lameutins
the fact that he knows so little
Digs: We'll. isn't that ample proofT'-
Chicago Daily News
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18

Pcckem: 'T understand Meekerton was
married last week
Enpeck: I'm glad OF IT nsveT aid
Ike that feIIow'-ChicagO Daily News
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30

provide for much pleasure outside OF
barracks. Consequently the Italian
soldier looks to himself and his COM
rades for amusement.
Though usually understood, Italian
fighting men are tough and strong out
of proportion to their size. Generally
they are good gymnasts and especially
adept at sprngboard work. In the
open court in the center of the bar
racks or in neighboring field one will
find series of springboards, horizon
tai bars and flying rings. More popu-
lar than the high jump which the
American athletes know is the high
SOmersault. turning over Il string
placed at various heights and alight-
ing on ones feet. The soldiers are clev-
err. too, at jumping head first through
hoop held out by cOmrade. They
shoot through the air from n spring
board, and after passing through the
hoop turn over and alight neatly upon
their feet. Strange as 1t may seem,
they perform these feats in full uni
form, including the wide brimmed,
high crowned, large plumed hat Of the
service.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
The Social Ladder,

People take strange ways of getting
into society. Sir Thomas Upton took
his first step toward the heights of
trade by driving two pigs-harnessed
and richly caparisOned-about the
streets and making them haul cart.
An ambitious young person resolved to
profit by the Upton idea. He owned
no pigs to drive; but since amaZement
and resultant gossip We're the objects
sought. he would as easily approach
them by another trail. After deepest
thought the young person threw HIM
self into the basin of park fountain
OH a wager of gloves with girl. In Il
moment the inner circle knew his
merit; 1t spread wide its arms and his
status was fixed. And he showed his
appreciation. He appeared late in the
thoroughfares of Newport carrying IL
gigantic rag doll; and later still he
gave dinner to a group Of lapdogs
and thereby emphasized his fame
Then there was that other male per-
son who, as seemed natural enough, had
for his intimate friend monkey from
BOrneOs wilds. And then, too, there
was that dinner given by one Of soci-
ety's queens with the BorneO monkey
as the guest of honor. Besides. do not
folk flourish with horseback dinners at
$500 a horse? Have we not cotillons
whereof the favors are cats and rats?
Are there not receptions at which the
unwilling animals of the barnyard are
made to mingle sOrrowfully with their
brethren of the drawing rooms? These
should burn like heacOns to guide all
on hunt for social eminence.-Alfred
Henry Lewis in EverybC dy's Magazine.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30

are two answers. or sets of answers,
reverse. The first is "overwork." Now
adays we are all supposed, or wish to
be supposed, abnormally industrious.
The age is supposed to be breaking its
bones with industry. But Is this ac-
tually the case? And while undoubt-
eddy there are many hard workers
very hard workers-is it these who
suffer from nerves? Probably not, for
work, even when excessive, II 1t be
free from a cer,ain alcoholic element,
which shall be given presently, con-
tributes to steady and strengthen the
nerves.
Nothing Is here said Of those who
are handicapped throughout life with
nerves congenitally weak or diseased.
But even for these good, regular, hard
work will be by far the best tonic. If
we call to mind the men who, judging
from the output Of their labors, not of
their genius, but of their sheer TOLL
must have been hard workers, we shall
not find that many Of them suffered
from nervous breakdown, though not
few Of them were men Of feeble health
in other ways.
Not many men ever did as much
work as Alfred the Great, who was al
ways i'll. Everybody remembers Mac
aulay's description Of William III. as
an "asthmatic skeleton" Besides, 1t
ia moro than doubtful whether cOnsid-
cred as whole, our own age is pre-
eminent in hard work. Our working
classes do not toll as their forefathers
did. Hours of labor are now shorter
than they ever were. while half holi-
days are aoses in the desert Of monot-
onOus dreariness unknown to former
neratons.-Philadelp Press.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30

In order to equip your picture with
that quality that Its presence will be
felt among a large collection Of pic
lures which have also been submitted
with a desire to catch the eye Of the
public, 1t Is absolutely necessary that
simplicity in composition be SO care
fully studied that the effect will be
noticed, while the attempt to make
the composition so simple that 1t will
carry at distance should, Of course,
be hidden. In other words, the pic
ture should be so simple in its lines
that the whole theme Is easily seen
and appreciated, while any amount of
suggestion may at the same time be
contained in this simple arrangement.
AS an aid to the cultivation Of sim
plicity in composition, the careful
study Of some Of the simpler forms Of
composition. as taught in the public
schools. where drawing and art work
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
Recent London StatistiCa.

The latest statistics, just published
by the London county council, show
that the population of that city-Great-
err London-is 6,5S1,372. There are
234,3 female servants and 1925
male servants. The average birth rate
per LOCO Of population in 1901 was 20,
as compared with 1913 in 1S9l-19OO,
1928 in 1851 1900, 35.5 in 1871
1850, 35.4 In 1S61-1S7O and 1875 In 1851
1860. The average death rate for
1901 per 1000 population was 17.6,
as compared with 1873 in 1S91-19OO,
2O.5 in 1881 $780, 22.5 In 1S71-1SSO.
24.4 in 1S61-1S70 and 23.7 in 1S51-1S6O.
The number of females over 10 years
Of age who work is 1881. Of whom
54S, 721 are unmarried OF the total
population 1,2O2,O72 were born In the
British provinces. 566O5 in Scotland.
6O,211 In Ireland and $500 in other
parts Of the British Empire. The alien
population numbers 79,SO4 males and
55,573 females. There are In the city
1.O33 females for every 1000 males.
Out Of every 1000 persons Of marriage
able age, 367 males and 372 females
are unmarried. In 1900, 36,635 bache.
Tors were married, 37,46S spinsters.
3.S75 widowers and 3,O47 widows. OF
the total number Of marriages p per
cent took place In the established
church, 1853 per cent in the registry
offices and 40 per cent in the noncon.
formist churches.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30

To do up lace curtains satisfactorily
when taken down, pin them on the line
a few minutes, so that the wind will
blow out the dust. After the loose dust
has been shaken out, put them to soak
Gf very smoky, in luke warm suds for
an hour. squeeze them out by hand and
place them in hot suds made from
ivory soap. Rinse up and down by
hand until all soil is removed. Run
them through a slack clothes wringer
and place them in a tub of clear warm
water. If they are to be pure white
they are now ready for the blung. but
those who wish them cream color
may add clear filtered coffee. Instead
of using starch to stiffen they they will
look more like new ones If gum arabic
is used. Upon teaspoonful of the gum
broken into little bits pour a cupful of
warm water and stir until dissolved.
TO every quart Of water add two tea
spoOnfuls Of the mixture Wiring out
carefully through loose clothes wiring
err In sunny spot in the yard have
the quilting frames extended. and a
clean sheet pinned taut over them.
In order to work to advantage 1t is
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30

are taught. will prove an invaluable
help to the person who is eager to
learn. BY this study you will find that
there are many agreeable landscapes
which are easily divided into three OF
four spaces: the arrangement is 50
simple that one Is led to feel that
some of the simpler things in art, MS
In literature, are the strongest and the
best
1t really requires very little material
If properly handled. to make a picture
The greatest cause Of error in picture.
making by photography Is the intro
duction Of so much material, all OF
which is equally interesting, that nc
one thought predominates above the
other and the mind. If interested, Is
only interested in trying to determine
what motive could have existed fol
the arrangement shown in the picture
Camera and Dark Room.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30


which is conservatively estimated at
S3OO,OCO,CO0. AS merchant prince Mr.
Field does a business Of $6O,OO0,OOO a
year. But he Is not merchant mere
ly he is the greatest manufacturer OF
dry goods in the world.
In every country on the face Of the
globe, where cotton, wOllen and silken
goods are manufactured in quantities,
he has factories. He owns scores Of
enormous plants in England, Ireland.
Scotland, France, Spain, Italy. Ger
many, Austria and Russia. Even the
Orient is not neglected. Flooding Chi
nese and skilled japanese are num-
bered by the thousand on the pay roll
Of the Chicago merchant prince and
manufacturer, and OH the other side of
the equator are vast wooden mills In
Australia, the chain extending to South
America. where looms in Brazil and ad-
joining republics turn out the finished
product.
Nor is dry goods his only vocation.
No enterprise is better known III the
United States, England and Europe
than the Pullman Sleeping Car Com
pany. In the popular mind, George
NJ. Pullman has ever been deemed the
dominant factor in that vast and profit
able enterprise. When Mr.. Pullman was
alive nine persons out of ten would
have named him as man of greater
wealth and influence than Marshall
Field. But they would have been in
error. Marshall Field was and is the
greatest single owner of Pullman stock.
Pullman was sort of head clerk.
Mr.. Field Is large owner OF real
estate in Chicago and New York, ard
in the Calumet iron region In Michigan
he owns hundreds of acres. lie mas
heavy Investments In railroad securl'
ties. and in one road alone OWNS $lo,-
100000 worth of stocks.
Mr.. Field has been conspicuous as a
business man for more than a genera
tion He was born in Conway, Mass,
| August 10. 1888, and when II years old,
firing of the farm, went West. Locat-
ing in Chicago. he obtained clerkship
in fine wholesale house of Cooley. Far
well & CO., his equipment being hoalth,
brains sound principles and ambition.
In four years he was made Il partner
in the firm-1S6O. The war came. ana
the advance in prices meant small
fortune for the young men who con-
stituted this dry goods firm. During the
four years Of the war they coined
money. In 1865 there was reorgani-
cation, the new firm consisting of Mar
shall Field, Levi 2. Letter and Potter
Palmer. Since 1881 Mr. Field has con-
Quoted the business alone.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
Brown and Green.

Bob is an old negro janitor in one
of the New England colleges. and
through long service has become part
of the institution. Indeed. says n
writer in Lippincott's Magazine, Bob
secretly believes that he outranks the
president of the college in Importance.
He is shrewd and quick-witted a
ready match for the students who Joke
with him. One day he had burned of
some of the dead grass in the college
campus, when a freshman came along
and said:
well, Bob, that grass is just the
color Of your face"
Yes, sah," said Bob, suavely, "but
dat don't matter. In about three weeks
it'll be jes' de color O. yo' face"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30

Farming in Pennsylvania seems to
be in the way to drift largely into the
hands of women. There are a great
many German farmers in the eastern
section and for the last two years the
women have been doing much of the
farm labor. even to the blowing. The
daughters are to be found In the field,
while the sons are at college, at the
loom. in the rolling mill or cigar fac
tory or "clerking' in the city. This
year not only the German women but
the farmers wives and daughters ev-
erywhere went into the fields. 1t was
the only way to save the crops after
the long and damaging drought. Mod
ern agricultural machinery made the
task a comparatively easy one, since
much of it can be operated just as we'll
by the farmers daughters as by tin
sons. who have forsaken the farm.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30

What is commonly termed an ice
monument Is an annual formation Of
Ice weighing many tons. the result Of
severe low temperature upon an arti-
fetal fountain constructed at Parkers
Glen, Pa, on the Delaware river. Dur
ing the warm season. for the past
twelve years, this fountain. which Is
capable Of throwing stream to
height Of more than 100 feet, has been
famous object Of interest to thou.
sands Of travellers The interest mani
tested in winter, however. is even more
marked. because Of the beauty of this
immense column Of ice, which stands
from base to apex a stately height Of
so feet, closely resembling white
marble
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
Killing Art of Conversation,

The ending of the holiday season re-
minds one that indoor will shortly be
taking the place of outdoor amuse-
ments. May l suggest the lately In
vented "anecdote party" as piquant
variation on the book tea" Each
member of the party tells story In
succession, and the best is rewarded
with a prize 1t is n change from the
hackneyed bridge" and progressive
which "drivcs," at any rate.
Card playing is an ineffably dreary
form of amusement, since 1t cuts at the
very root of all social intercourse by
barring conversation. Why does not
some society leader start "conversa-
ton" as Il fashionable amusement! 1t
would soon be rehabilitated as fine
art. She need not go as far as that
rather priggish host in the delightful'
but now forgotten New Republic.
who prints on his menu the topic to
be discussed with each course at din
ner. But, seriously, are we not deilD-
erately killing out the art of conversa-
ton in many ways, as, for example, by
the absurd fashion Of having profess
sional entertainers and singers at our
big functiOns-a fashion which effectu-
ally stiles all small talk? People were
better off fifty years ago, when the
performances of inefficient musical
amateurs stimulated rather than de-
stroyed the flow of conversation. 1t Is
such very poor compliment to your
guests to take it for granted that they
are not brilliant enough to amuse
themselves. And is not the introduce
ton of all forms of entertainments
direct infringement of woman's
royal prerogative-the right to talk?-
London Daily News.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
Cool.

would give a man money for his influ-
ence?"
mot If l could help It," answered
Senator Sorghum. of course it would
be cheaper to give him position. But
the trouble is there aren't enough of
fees to go round. Washington Post.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
THE ITALIAN SOLDIER.
lie Is Tough and Strong and a Well
Trained Gynuast.

The standing army of Italy is curl
Gus body. and many are the strange
customs of the 330,o0O conscriptcd men
who wear the royal uniform for two
cents n day. The soldiers come from
all parts of the kingdom, and that
there may grow n more united Italy
an effort is made to mix the recruits
from north. south and central Italy.
This means that the regimcntal sports
are widely diversified and include the
sports of the nation.
Every regimental post has its gym
nasium. its fencing hall and its open
air athletic field. Even the company
posts are not without means of indulg-
ing in athletics. Indeed, without these
interests there would be great difficulty
keeping the men cOntented. In the
first place. they are not in the army
from choice. but because of conScrip-
ton. Then, two cents II day does not
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
To the Bachelor Girl.

Here's to the Bachelor Girl
Who fain her charms would cloister
She is precious pearl
That will not leave the oyster.
She is a proud sweet pea
That scOrns to be vine,
And lean upon IL tree
Or round stick entwine.
"What, lean upon a stick.
Oh. no. I'm not that sort
l will grow branches thick
And be my own support"
Beware. 0 pearl of price,
Lest you be east to swine;
0 proud sweet pea, think twice
Ere you refuse to Irvine.
O Bachelor Girl we drink
Confusion to your plan:
Beware. lest Fate shall link
You to IA Spinster Man.
Q change. ere tbs too late
The choker tall and silly,
The twecds--the hat we hate,
For something soft and frillyi
Take off the stockings blue
I'VE will avert our gaze),
Then will we drink to you
Long life-and happy days
Good housekeeping.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
BOILED SNOW FOR THE NERVES
The Newest Fad of Nervous Century
Said to Possess Merit.

Nerves can be cured by drinking tea
made of boiled snow.
This Is the newest fad Of this nerv-
GUS century. Snow can raise pan
cakes as we'll as eggs, and it must have
chemical properties. There is and can
be no remedy for bad nerves other
than changing the kind Of life which
has made them bad. AS very subordi-
nate to this, doctors drugs may be of
some use, but even then their use Is
small, and when these drugs are taken
without ever stopping the cause Of the
mischief the evil Is only masked for
time.
1t is like Sheridan putting the sher-
IFS officers into his own livery at a
party, making them masquerade as his
f,unkies until the door slammed on the
last departing guest-and then!
Now, what Is the cause. or what are
causes Of present-day nerves7 There
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
The Risht Sort of Affinity.

"An ideal match" they say. indicat-
ing the newly married couple.
"Eminently suited to each other"
they continue.
Here they pause and watch the hap
Ply pair.
seems like a made -to-Order meet.
ing of affinities," they conclude.
He is vegetarian and she is q
grass ow."-Judge.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
-----------.-----
Queer Trade in False Teeth.

London deserves the palm for grew
some traffic. A thriving trade Is driv-
en- in artificial teeth taken from the
the transaction creates no more COM
ment than the sale of the wardrobe
and other effects of the dead. Adver-
tisements are inserted in reputable
newspapers addressed to the executors
Of estates and Offering to buy clothing,
artificial teeth, furniture or any other
property left by the deceased. One of
these advertisements in a London pa
per reads as follows:
TO EXECUTORS - WARDROBES,
artificial teeth, cast-off clothing, uni
forms. furniture, jewelry, guns and every
description of household goods purchased
for cash by LEWIS DAVIS X son,
Crawford street, Baker street. w. La
dies and gentlemen attended by address
ing as above, or boxes and parcels sent
Z. o. order returned. Est. 1900. Terms
cash.
Although artificial teeth are sup
posed to be made specially for each
Individual, there is a lively trade in
secondhand sets even in America. In
many cases the teeth are saved and
cast on new plates, but sometimes per
sons who are not particular about the
fit are willing to take the second hand
set as 1t stands. However, no Ameri
can dealer in junk would have the
hardihood to advertise openly for arti
fetal teeth found among the effects of
| the dead.-NeW York Press.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
Pretty Aprons for Playtime.

Little maidens who have gone to the
country just to have good time are
made very happy by big Bingham play
aprons. which may yet show a white
sailor collar and tied smartly with
white strings Ordinary long cloth may
be the white portion, and with such a
covering to her nainsOok or lawn frock,
or without the latter. unlimited mud
pies are assured without danger tp
tineries beneath. Smocks of brown
linen come from France and England
to protect the neither splendorS of
small boys at playtime.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
Men Love the Neat Woman.

There is an attraction in neatness
and order all their own. The lack is
felt even when there is great beauty to
dazzle the eye. l know that there are
men who tolerate slack. untidy women,
but | have always regarded them as
martyrs to duty, mistaken in the size
Of the obligation laid upon them. l
have never blamed the man who
stunned untidiness at home. be he
father, husband son or brother, and
that. my friends is the real whip tina t
drives some men from their own fire
sides. The really neat woman is neat
at all times, and the slack one Is very
unwise when she INDUCES her pro-
pensitics at home. Cleanliness may
be next to golliness. and certainly
neatness is next to beauty.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
Easy for Johnny.

Johnny had been told to write a
short composition in which he should
say something about all the days of
the week. The little fellow thought
few minutes. and then triumphant
ly produced this: Monday father and
l killed bear, and there was meat
enough to last over Tuesday, We'd
nesday, Thursday, Friday. Saturday
and Sunday"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-11-30
Sounded That Way.

We know that Richard Wagner was
poet, philosopher and musician. A
man of such varied genius must also
have had humor Jugend records one
witticism of the great composer.
Your son conducts with his baton
in his left hand" said friend to
Wagner.
YES" he answered, sadly, Il can
hear it,"