Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1903-04-17


baltimore American.
Mrs. Henpecque-Marrled men live
longer than single men. Henpecoua
Yes; and it serves them right.-Datrol,
Free Press.
Mary said the mother, sharply
you mustn't say Well l never Thar
is slang" well l never slang mother
If | know It,"
81 used to consider him one of the
most interesting takers | ever heardp
Yes; but that was before he began
telling the cute things his baby says"
Not one, but many: Mrs. Stubs
They have captured the cleverest hotel
robber In the country, dear Mr. Stubbs
Indeed Which hotel did he keep
Tit-Bits.
i Literal: Mstress-What in the world
are you putting ashes on the door for,
Bridget? Bridget-Shure, ma am, an
didn't yez say to doost the parlor?--
Town and Country.
The modern novel is bounded on the
east by blood, on the west by thunder,
on the north by gossip, on the south
by inanities, and is surrounded by ad-
yertsements.-B Baltimore News.
Doctor said the wife. do you
think dyspepsia makes my husband IT.
ritable? y 81 know It," replied the man
of medicine III try to get him we'll
SO l can get my bill without kick"
~
Old Lady, don't you know it is very
,, wrong for children like you to smoke
cigarettes "Aw, gwan,' replied the
Incorrlgible, do youse expect me t eat
'em?'-Cincmnati Commercial Trib.
une
Il understand" said the German
town girl. that you and Charlie are
engaged" Not yet" replied the truth.
full maid. although he held my hand
for over an hour the other evening, and
that's a good ways toward being Ell
gagged
John, dear said the poets wife, Il
wish you'd write poem that'H buy
three pounds of beef; and we'll need
sonnet for ham. an ode for sack OF
, -four, a lyric for lard, and a quatrain
for box Of matches. There. l believe
/ that's all this morning Atlanta Con-
stitution.
In your yermiform appendix" the
, surgeon told him after the operation
was over, I'VE found, strange to say
4 small brass tack That proves
was right" feebly answered the sick
man, when | said it was something |
had eaten in mince pie."-ChIcago
, Tribune.
, Yes" said the meeklookng woman,
: I'm glad Mr.. Barker isn't on jury
duty any more" Did he find 1t lrk-
, express an opinion without appearing
to agree with some of the other men,
and 1t irritated him terribly Wash
lngton Star.
Jeweler-Diamond shirt studs? Yes,
sir; here's a set. neat little stones for
S125. Customer-Iiuh, Out home In
California | can GET Jeweler-Ah,
yes, pardon me, here you are. just look
at these big flashes. Three carats each!
Sell you that set for $3.5o.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Personals Mrs. Clifton Yes, she
was furious about the way in which
that paper reported her marriage. Miss
Avondale-Did 1t allude To her age!
Miss Extraordinarily 1t stated that
Miss Olde and Mr. Yale were married,
the latter being a well-known collector
of antiques. "-Saxby's Magazine.
why don't you try to live down
your pastg' asked the visitor at the
Jail. Its no use" answered the prls-
oner. Not If you're sincerely sorry"
"Bein' sorry don't do no good. When
dey've got your picture in de rogues'
gallery you've got to git out o de bust
ness. It's worse dan bein' up agin a
trust.r-Puck.
Washington officials say young wom-
en- handle money more rapidly than
older ones, and there can be no doubt
about it. The amount OF money that
can pass through the hands of young
woman has frequently paralyzed
young husband who thought he was
something of spendthrift himself
st. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Fiendlsh revenge: The burglar soft.
ly opened the door of the suburbanlte,s
sleeping apartment, slipped inside. bur
found nothing worth stealing. Darn
him" he soliloquized; I'm get some
satisfaction out OF him, anywayp
Thereupon he set the alarm clock on
the bureau for the hour of three, and
softly departed.--Chlcago Tribune.
Could recommend them Il would adj
wise YOU, he said TO the friend he was
taking home to dinner, ito try some of
my wife's branded peaches. or course
know you don't care for them ordln-
arily, but these are worth trying" lex.
ira good, are they?' Well bought
the brandy myself and dumped an ex-