davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
Anderson County Mutual Ben

The Anderson County Mutual Benefit
Association Of America w-ites the cheap
eat insurance Of the day. The plan is to
take one thousand people, mon and wo.
men, bind them together in business
way to help each other in time of need
and trouble. You only paw when one
dies. II you Join now yoH- s:s: payment
pays you up until January, 1904, unless
we lose one OF our mem bers, If the hand
Of Providence should sever tho silver
thread that holds the life Of ono of our
loved onee. friend or neighbor, who
would hesitate moment on paying the
little sum of One Dollar and ten cents to
replace the amount and pay expenses
paid out on death claim. Consider the
matter, examine and study our plan.
You are. receiving Insurance protect
your family at actual cost. Don't stand
back, let our agencies write you up at
once. -- .S,Ea -, .-...-' -. '...;xs
Ifthere is anything you wish to know
In regard to the policy call on any of the
agents and they will take pleasure In
explaining the pulley to you. Remem-
Der this is the only opportunity ever
presented 20 you at actual cost. You
owe 1t to your family, you owe 1t to your
self to secure their protection in case you
are taken away from them. IF You are
over thirty years Of age this Ia the only
chance you will have of getting In.
After 900 memb bers have been secured
no one over thirty gets in, and he only
to replace q deceased member.
N. II. GREEN, Pres.
j. M. PAYNE, Sec. and Treas.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
Formidable Preparations.

"Yas, sir" said Uncle Asbury,
81 Sc. got a daughter. in de high
school,,
II suppose you are very proud Of
her.
"tDsed is. An whut's mo-, she s
gwineto be great help to her father.
She's studyin' geometry at de present
time, nm she 8 saying dem lessons over
an over again SOS / kin hear 'em.''
What's that for?''
Well, sub, / alius was kiEd O. anx-
ioussto preach, but l never didn't had
de words to stand de competition.
NowMI reckons when / stan's up in
front o dat congregation an gifts to
telling EN- bout hypothenuses an
pahalellograms dey's gwine to rise UP
anF admit dat dey's listenin' to Ian
.guage sho' nuG.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
no Bsl Exact.

How nice this cake is Would
you be willing to give me your recipe
for it ~ asked q visitor at the tea
table Of old Phoebe Taft.
ssWhy, certainly. It's as easy as
nothing to make it., I just take as
much flour 3as Ilthink I'll need and
quite q little dab Of butter and a
pinch or two of creamy tartar and
Ssev'ral eggs n they're plenty and
less if theyfaint and mebbe a mite
2of salt and ST. em until git tired
and bake 1t in an averridge czen un-
til I think it's done. That's; all
there lis to it. - 80
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
The Chinese Funeral.

The Chinese would be greater as
people it they could throw off some OF
their absurd superstitions. To drive
away the devil they do thousand and
one stupid things. The other day I
witnessed Chinese funeral prooes.
sion, sixty carriages in line and scyo.
raj hundred Cinnamon on foot. In
the first open carriage following the
hearse stood live pig. which bore a
lighted candle on its back, held in
place by kind of saddle. In the
same vehicle were several trays of
eggs. Next came Chinese band
making noise enough to put a Wagner
overture to sleep. All along the road
to the cemetery two Cinnamon were
throwing broadcast thousands of small
hand bills. This was done to prevent
tho devil from scizing the dead body
and making off with it. His Satanic
Majesty is obliged to pick up every
one OF these handbills before he can
overtake the victim, which means that
he never does overtake him. New
York Press.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15

( * The clever woman always inter
estssa man be talking to him about
himself, and the clever man a woman
by talking to her about the man he
euspects ahe is love with.
- Next to the United States, which
issues over ~ 600 patents year, the
British Patent Office, with about 1000
per year, shows the largest list. The
Gesman Patent Office stands third,
recording about 700 inventions each
,yys.r.
- More tailors should be elected to
congress-; they know lot about meas-
pres and men.
Few women have the humor to
understand a funny story; none to tell
it.
Trust no man whom you have
done favor; trust no. yourself if any
man has done you one.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
soon Counted.

All kinds of questions come to
the answers to correspondents man
of daily paper, and che impatience
he occasionally manifests is not sur
prising. - Z
Editor of !" wrote an In
qniring citizen one day, twill you
please tell me how many kinds Of
typewriters there are?"
This was handed to. the answers
to correspondents man, and in the
next issue OF the paper ne replied to
it as follows: s.
wo male and female"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15

- An optimist is u man who can be
fooled into thinking a 5-oent cigar
cost the man who gave it to him
quarter.
- Once woman went shopping and
did not spend all the money she start
ed with, but it was because she lost
her pocketbook.
- A woman always has suspicious
OF another who calls on her after her
husband has got home soon from his
Office.
= The only clothes that are more
ridiculous than those that women wear
underneath are those that men wear
outside.
- A woman regards a secret as
something that is not worth keeping.
= Among cthe- things that won t
bear tho light are shadows.
- The thing that men like about
working for the government is that
they don't have to do it.
q A wcman's idea Of a good story is
one that makes her laugh when she
doesn't see the point Of it.
- Somebody suggests that any msa
who would cut his wife out of his will
deserves to be murdered.
- The philanthropy of some men
consists Of giving a dollar to charity
and spending ten to advertise the
| fact.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
Society Episode.

sI want somebody to show me
where to unload this COAL" said the
grim looking man at the kitchen
door. IS
on needn't ask me about that"
retorted the young woman. t'I don't
have anything to do with unloading
coal. I'm the kitchen LADY, 3
81 can't help that" he rejoined.
I'm the coal gentleman and theta
siler of three kitchen ladies, one
laundry lady and one cash lady, and
if you don't show me where to put:
this coal I'll call the woman of the
house."
l-I'1 show you, sir," she hum
bly, replied, leading the way to the
coal cellar. NJ, \.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
An Irish SquIre's Advice.

# An upstart Irish squire went to an old
squire for advice as TO sending chal-
lfenge. * & r. - s.
s'Healysof Longhlinstown,3 said he,
"haa threatened to pull me by the
nose whenever he meets me. What
would yon advise me to gdo2a
s'Has he really used that throat2"
asked the;squire.
.sHe has, es
"Weli." said the aquire, ''I'll tell
you what to do-soap your nose we'll
and it willslip through his fingers
Perhaps the most oentemptuous
3declination of a challenge was that of
IAN Irish gentleman Of. the old school.
Eight with himi" he exclaimed. Il
would rather go to my grave without
q fghtr"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
MEN AND WOMEN.
Hor'cmaking q Human Drama That
Should 90 ENCOURAGED.

y
Should 90 Encouraged.
Men see in the changing attitude
OF women toward life a danger to
the things that keep society togeth-
en-. We ell, young and old, belieye
that the home is the basis Of soci-
ETY.. Every girl looks forward to
having q home Of her own, and SO,
though perhaps less definitely, does
every young man. Normal young
people fall in love, marry and set
up their homes as naturally as the
birds do, and their pleased pride
when they have established them
selves is just ss natural as that OF
the birds. Nearly every one has
seen a pair of newly mated birds
bustling about to prepare their nest
and begin their housekeeping. There
IS nothing more human in the whole
drama of nature than their actions
at such a time. Older people some
times complain that newly married
young folk usually conduct them
selves as though they had actually
achieved something in tie setting
up of home. They have right so
to conduct themselves, for they have
really done something toward fur
thering the best interests of the
whole world. The home idea is the
foundation idea of human society.
Now, one person cannot make true
home. Two persons cannot do it
unless each assumes certain obliga-
tions toward it. It seems almost
too patent fact to 1hed attention
being called to it that sslere must be
here, as in every other department
OF life, q unity Of interest with divi-
sion of labor.
To the average man home stand
for that for which he struggles, and
he ought to 60 forth from it rested
and strengthened for the days task
It is his ideal Of the place to which
he may return for rest and comfort
when the world presses him hard
To most men, possibly to every man
at some period Of his life, wife and
children represent the divinest side
Of life. If at no other time a man
feels religious, even the poorest Of
them does when he really loves 8
woman, and in spite Of the things
SO often made public which seem te
contradict the idea the home is the
highest thing that the average man
knows. In those moments when be
is honest With, himself he knows that
!; without it heiwould be worse than
he is. Household.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
The Danger Of Too Much Holiness.

The Danger Of Too Much Holiness.
Sir Richard Burton was explor-
ing an unknown corner Of Afghanis-
tan and had adopted the disguise Of
a Mohammedan fakir. He PLAYED
his part so we'll in one village that
the inhabitants formed a very
high idea Of his sanctity." Natural
" he was pluming himself on his
success when the elders came pri-
vately to him one night and begged
him to go away at once. sDo not
the people like me?" asked Burton
in great surprise. Indeed they dc, z,
was the reply. They were simply
enchanted with his holiness. In
deed, they wers consideriAg whether
it would mot be q good thing to pos
sess his stombl Sir Richard made
the best of his speed away. Indeed,
if his admirers had made their ar
rangements for his funeral he felt
sure, as Artemus Ward observed,
that "the corpse would be ready"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
Notice of Final Settlement.

THE undersigned, Executors of the
Estate of J. P. Reed, deceased, hereby
give notice that they will on Tuesday,
18th day Of May, 1908, apply to the Judge
of Probate for Anderson County, 8. c.,
for Final Settlement of eaid Estate, and q
discharge from their office az Executors.
Is. F.. MAULDIN
G. A REED,
Executors.
Anril 6 IQ02 ~
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
Stockholders Meeting.

THE ANNUAL MEETING of the
Stockholders OF the Riverside Manufac-
turing Company will be held at the office
of the Company, in Anderson 8. c., on
Thursday. April 16, 1903. at IL O'Clock m.
D. P. McBRAYER.
2t President.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
The working girls 81 London 3, ara

~
The working girls Of London are
said TO possess priv:lege which has
not as yetbeen accorded 70 the Amer
Jean woman, with all her boas:ed in.
depend depoe. The Londoner may hire
aniescdrt when she swants one. She
bears the whole expense for both her
SELF and the enan md cheerfnlly ex-
psnds on alsinssiisss siss ssut uuttiug i the aavings
ST q whole month. re the man proves
70 be q Jolly companion he is asked
again anasn6t infrsqu the affair
ends ID rnstriage
a man ncan protect himself from.
his eEemies, bnt is not SO easy To-
guard against one s friends % i
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
To Cure a Gold 10 One Day

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets.
All druggists refurd the money if it
fails TO cure. Il. w. Groves cigna-
.ture is on each box Price 25c.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
CUR J.
- OF
DRINK
CURED BY
WHITE RIBBON REME EDY.

No taste. No odor. Can be given in glass of
water. tea or coffee without patients know ledge.
White Ribboo Remedy will cure or destroy the
diseased appetite for alcoholic stimulants wheth-
the patient Is q conf rmed ipebrate, "pler, j"
social drinker or drunkard. Impossible .or any
one to have I'm sppetite for alcoholic liquors after
using White Ribbon Remedy.
Indorsed by Members OF ". C. T. U.
Mrs. Moore, press superintendent Of Woman's
Christian Temperance Union, Ventura, Callfor-
MIA, writes: II have tested White Ribbon Remedy
on very obstinate drunkards, and the .curea have
been many. In many cases the Remedy was CIV
White Ribbon Remedy. Members Of our Union
are delighted to ind an economical treatment to
aid us In cur temperance work."
Druggists or by mail, 81. Trial package free by
writing Mrs. A. AZ. Townsend. (for years Secreta-
ry OF Woman's Christian Temperance Union.)
2ls fremont 4t Boston, Mass. Sold In Anderson
by ORB, GRAY & co.
Sept IL, 1902 IL 1y
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-04-15
Notice to Creditors.

ALL persons having demands against
the Estate of @. w. Maret, deceased,
are hereby notified to present them,
properly proven, to the undersigned.
within the time prescribed by law, and
those indebted TO make payment.
G. s. MARET,
Ss1 C.E. MARET,
Executors.
April 1, 1908 ->.ns al 3
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1903-06-30
ENGINEER BADLY
HURT ON SIBERIA

Chief Engineer Ferguson of the Pa
citic Mail steamship Siberia was
seriously injured while that vessel was
off Kobe on June 18th. Private advices
received on the Picking yesterday, say
that while the engineer was on his
way to the engine room from his room
on the upper deck, he failed to notice
that the companion way steps had been
moved to permit the discharge of cargo.
and he stepped into the space, falling
nearly twenty feet. His head and
shoulders struck the deck below with
a dreadful thud and he was uncon-
scious when picked up. He was bleed
ing at the nose and mouth, and also
from a deep cash in the forehead. His
right wrist was broken into spinters
and several ribs are also supposed to
have been broken. Captain Smith i'm
mediately called upon the captain of
the Russian warship laying near for
aid, and the surgeon from that YES
sci cared for the engineer He was
later removed to the hospital on shore.
though his recovery is matter of some
doubt. as Ferguson is a man weighing
from 220 to $50 pounds and is also quite
elderly. The last reports from the hos
pital were to the effect that internal
bleeding had stopped and the symp-
toms We're better.
What makes the accident particular
ly sad is the fact that Mr.. Ferguson
lad been ashore at Yokohama buying
Wedding presents for his daughter who
is to be married at Newport News in
the autumn and which ceremony he ex-
pected to attend. The ship was thrown
in deep gloom over the sad affair.
Mr. Ferguson is well known to TO-
nolulu people, having been for many
Years chief engineer of the China.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1903-06-30
CITATION WAIVED
BY HUMPHREYS

Mr.. Humphreys, after the presenta-
and complaint. addressed the Court
thus:
Any suggestion from me as to the
course which this Court should pur-
sue in the conservation of it's dignity
would be impertinent; but if permit
ted to speak entirely from selfish
point of view, l join in the request of
the Attorney General for an immedi-
ate investigation of the subject mat
ter of his report and the charges there
to annexed.
Speaking for myself, / am the repre-
sentative in a purely professional way
and as an officer of this court of large
interests; l have the trust and conf
dence of men of affairs and while not
assuming that the result of the hear
ing will be n disadvantage to me, but
treating the matter in a spirit of ar
gument, 1 suggest that if this affair
should be concluded to my detriment,
the gentlemen who have matters in my
hands should be given speedy oppor-
tunity of seeking other counsel.
The case is not one in which the
api'ii ism thdl justice traNelS with
leaden heel, but strikes with an iron
hand can have any application. 1t Is
rather n case in which II the charges
be true, Justice should strike not only
with an iron hand but be fleet of foot.
pray that the Court may allow me
to waive the issuance of a citation and
to appear herein voluntarily and sub
NIT to the jurisdiction and Judgment
of Your Honors and that the hearing
may proceed without delay.
The court set the case for Monday
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1903-06-30
TEN BOLD ASSERTIONS
REGARDING CHAMBERLAIN'S CO.
Lie, CHOLERA AND DIAR-

REGARDING CHAMBERLAIN'S CO.
Lie, CHOLERA AND DIAR-
RHOEA REMEDY.
/. 1t affords quick relief in cases OF
collie. cholera morbus and pains n the
stomach.
2. 1t never fails to effect cure In
the most severe cases Of dysentery and
diarrhoea.
8. 1t is a sure cure for chronic diar-
rhoea.
4. 1t can always be depended upon
in cases of cholera infantum.
8. 1t cures epidemical dysentery.
Q. 1t prevents bilious collie.
7. 1t Is prompt and effective In cur
ing all bowel complaints.
8. 1t never produces bad results.
o. 1t is pleasant and safe to take.
10. 1t has saved the lives of more
people than any other medicine in the
world.
These are bold assertions to make re-
arding any medicine, but there is alum
dant proof in every one OF the above
statements regarding this remedy. Ev-
cry household should have a bottle at
hand. Get II today. 1t may save life.
Benson. Smith & Co.. Ltd. wholesale
agents. sell 1t.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1903-06-30
WILL START
HIS COUNTY
Judge KaIua Sends All
Prisoners 10
Wai|uku.

Judge Kalua is going the county law
one better. He has started a county
government of his own by ordering all
prisoners in his circuit confined in
Waikiki Jail. Though it has been the
custom in the past for all prisoners
sentenced for felony to be confined
In Oahu prison, Judge Kalua has re-
versed the order Of things in view Of
the near approach Of county govern
ment, and will himself look after the
convicts on Maui.
The court term ended at Lahaina on
Friday, and acting Deputy Attorney
General Rawlins returned on the XII
nau yesterday. There were twenty in
dlctments by the grand jury, and but
four acquittals. Altogether Ihere were
eighteen convictions.
Probably the most important was
the conviction of Okano for bribing a
police officer. The defendant in this
case promised the police fifty dollars a
month to allow his gambling game to
be run, and paid forty dollars on ac-
count the first month. Then he was
arrested. Judge Kalua imposed fine
of 5000.
William Puniai was sent up for three
years for perjury. The crime was
curious one. The defendant it seems
had stolen horse from Won Tempsky
and when taxed with the crime claim
ed that Jap had done it. He went to
plantation and sold the horse to a
simple minded Japanese for one dol
lar but the Jap afterwards returned it
when told that the horse had been
stolen. In the meantime Puniai arriv-
ed with the officer and when the Jap
gave him the horse, told the officer that
he was being given the animal to
train. The native was convicted of
the theft of the horse, and in Kalua's
court was sentenced to three years for
perjury.
Iona Kaai also pleaded guilty to per-
jury and was sent up for six months.
He admitted lying in testimony given
in a vagrancy case.
Alamo convicted of attempted rape
was sent up for three years.
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1903-06-30
ATTORNEYS
PROSECUTED
CONTINUED from page ~

of John X. Sumner in the said suit.
STAND AND DELIVER.
That during said trial Frank e.
Thompson, on behalf of A. S. Hum
phreys, as senior counsel for the FL
Uses aforesaid, made further demands
upon John X. Sumner and j. A. Ma
COON his attorney, whereby said
Thompson. in behalf OF said Hum
phreys, offered to settle all Of said FL
Uses demands and claims in said suit
in consideration Of said John X. Sum-
ner turning over to the said Ellises a
certain sum of money, including ex-
tortionate counsel fees for the said
firm of Humphreys Thompson & Wat
son. That all OF these demands and
extortions were refused by said John
X. Sumner and his attorney ]. A. Ma
COON.
EXTORTION THE AIM.
Complainant therefore charges that
said Humphreys and said Thompson
were not contesting this suit for and
in behalf of any legal rights to which
they believed the Ellses entitled, as
shown by their answer in the suit of
Ropert as trustee versus John X. Sum-
ner ct al, but merely and solely for
the purpose of extorting from said
John K. Sumner further sums of
money.
PLAYS NEW TUNE.
The complaint goes on to recite that
Humphreys took an appeal from Judge
De Bolts decision in favor of Sumner
and argued it before the Supreme
Court, land in his brief for the ap-I
pellant further sought to harass said
John X. Sumner. stating that the said
trust was irrevocable, well knowing
that in his answer for John X. Sumner.
in the suit of Maria S. Davis. he had
set up that the said John K. Sumner
might dispose of his property as he
saw fit"
On which the Attorney General COM
ments, and concludes the complaint,
in the following terms:
This, your petitioner alleges, was
gross infidelity to his former client and
a gross professional improperly, and,
under the circumstances that preced-
ed, was intended to induce John X.
Sumner who had delivered large sums
Of money in full settlement of the de-
mands of the Ellises, however, illegal .
to pay further sums of money in set |
Element of the same demands.
DISBARMENT INVOKED.
Wherefore, by reason of the forego-
ing, complainant charges said a. S.
with professional impro-
prieties, malpractice, deceit, infdelity
to his client and gross misconduct,
and charges said Frank e. Thompson
with professional improprieties, NAL
practice, infidelity to his client and
gross misconduct, and asks that the
said A. S. Humphreys and Frank E.
Thompson may be cited to appear and
answer this information at the June
903 session of the October 1902 term of
his honorable court. or as soon there
after as counsel may be heard, and
hat If the charges herein may be sus-
aimed your honors will dismiss from
he roll of practitioners, suspend from
practice or otherwise deal with the
'aid A. S. Humphreys and Frank r.
Thompson as under the pleadings and
proofs, may be proper.