Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-02-28
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RAINY from her as from little birdie.
He tgrufiiy)-A parrot, perhaps!
"oh, dear, l hate to spend SO much
money for clothes. ana have them turn
oSt all wrong! 1t just gives me
tit.
Bridget. what did you say to Miss
Smith when she called:" Il told her
you We're ont this tonne for sure
ma'am.'
There's one good thing about mo-
tor car" whats that:" 1T doesn't
try to run up to every water trough it
comes to-"
She-I understand that Mrs. Emerson
is a strict vegetarian. He-Yes, very!
Why, she goes SO far as to exclude
Bacon from her literary diet.
Whats the matter:' asked the
rooster; more Observation-Disclosures: :"
Yes" replied the hen; Il can never
find things where 1 lay them"
Il see the new magazine is out:"
Yes; and thank Heaven, they've got
my poem right next to advertising
matter" Atlanta Constitution.
George proposed to that girl and
would have married her if il hadn't
been for something she said. Fred
What did she say? George-No.
did You see any sharks when YOU
crossed the ocean, Mr.. Spifkins?'
asked Miss Purlng. Yes" replied
Spifkns. sadly; Il played cards with Il
couple"
Now, Willy, you may give me sen
tence that Will be easy to parse"
"Yes'm. How's this one: Said the
sparse, parsimonlous parson: Parse the
parsnips"
who is the hero of this piece"
asked the man who was coming out
Of the theatcr And the manager
thoughtfully replied: The man who
is financing it,"
80 you are going to get an auto
mobile?" Yes" answered the man
who is always thinking of his health.
1.-THE doctor says | must walk more. -
Washington Star
rs Miss Thinker a good pianist?"
"She is simply fine You ought to
hear some of her classical pieces. You
would never know they were music"
Indianapolis News
Her Mamma You certainly were
flirting outrageously with that young
man on the bench Don't you know
you're married woman, and Mrs,
Gay-Yes. but he didn't.
wife-You don't seem to enjoy the
dinner. dear What's the matter? Hus-
band--I was wondering If there
weren't some typographical errors in
that cook book of yours,
HE thinks of having his poems pub
lished In book form" We'll. that's
the best way of putting them where
they won't bother anybody. "-Phila-
dclphia Evening Bulletin.
martha. where is the letter that was
on my writing desk?" Il posted IT.,
ma'am." but ii had no address on it.
NO, ma'am, but thought it might he
one of them agnonimus letters"
Mrs. Jones-And have you any refer
ences? Applicant-No mum; OF torod
EN- up. Mrs. Jones lin surprisel-Tore
them up? How foolish. Applicant
Yez wudn't think so, mum, If ycz had
seen 'em.
Going away on vacation, old man.
You need it, for you look all tagged
ont" Great Scott. isn't that proof
enough that I've already been OH my
vacation and just got back Balti-
more Herald
Enyious Young man speaking of IA
vored rivaU-Yes, George is clever and
handsome. but he is so abominally con
ceited Sharp Young Lady But. MIR
Dumley. if you were handsome and
clever, would not you be concelted?
An Irishman was standing at the cor
nef Of street. his head all bandagcs
aud using crutches, when a friend on
seeing him, shouted: "Halloa, Mike,
what's the natter" Il bet Rooney a
half-crown he couldn't carry me up
fhree-story ladder won"
Physician tat hospltaD How did you
happen 10 iall from the top of the
ladder? Patient--A pretty woman was
passing. and while trying to get
good look at her | slipped and fell
Physician All the same old story-a
woman at the bottom OF it,-Chicago
News.
Il wonder why donkeys eat thistles?"
said the man who is always finding
something peculiar in life. oh" an
swered the person who likes plain food.
There is no accounting for taste If
donkey were to give the matter
thought / suppose he would wonder
why human beings eat olives"
Yes, said Cholly Lonson, proudly, as
the group Of listeners clustered around
him, yes, / saved the ladys life. She
had fallen from the pier and the watah
was dashing awound her. Powerless to
help herself, she was sinking for the
third time when ] ran 10 the spot"
Yes, yes said the GREATNESS listen