New-York tribune., 1903-04-07
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

In the early days OF Minnesota, according to
"Harper's Magazine" a man named johnson was
elected justice of the peace in little town. He
pretended to no judicial attachments. and was
elevated the place solely because he was the
Oldest In the community.
The first case which came before him was that
of a man charged with stealing a calf Justice
Johnson was conscious of his legal inexperience.
so as much as possible to avoid the scrutiny of
the public he put down the hearing for the next
morning at O'Clock. This early that when
the time arrived the Prosecuting Attorney was not
on hand and his honor faced only the Sheriff
and the prisoner and his lawyer.
Gentlemen you will please come to order said
the Court, humping on the table with his fist
The lawyer arose and said:
Your honor l represent the prisoner In the
case This is the hour at which the court
announced to open, and the Prosecuting Attor
ney is not present, he ought TO be, desire to
ma Ike motion that the prisoner be discharged"
The judge fdgeted about moment and then
said:
"Gentlemen it is moved that the prisoner be dis
charged"
The LAWYER nudged his client vigorously with his
elbow.
II second the motion" blurted out the prisoner.
Gentlemen YOU have heard the notion said
the Court LAS many of you as are in favor OF 1t
signify by saying aye"
Aye" called out the lawyer and the prisoner.
Contrary minded no.
NO" shouted the Sheriff.
1.-THE ayes have 1t. The prisoner Is discharged.
A motion to adjourn is in order"
The lawyer responded with the motion, the pris-
with the second, and Justice Johnson's first
term of court was a thing of the past
The sermon pastor Rt Rev.
Began may have had Rt. C1ev.
But his talk, though Inc ign consistent. consistent.
-(Philadelphia Press.
In view of the establishment of the Department OF
md Jaho may he int tn
that the internal commerce Of the United States
last year has estimated by the government
statistcian at 500 0O0,00o Fifty years it
only 81 OO0 600 The manufactures of the United
States nearly double those of Great Britain and
Ireland and about equal to those of France, Ger
many and Russia combined
Managng Editor-Well. what's the trouble?
woman writes to know what to do with wrinkle
Managing Edtor-Ten her to putty it up and
forget it.-(The Inland Printer.
THE EVOLUTION OF FATNEss
IDr Robinson in 1.-The North American Review
asks ''Why should babies be fat when the children
of their pithecoid ancestors must have been lean?
The suicidal swallowing capacity of the mod
ern baby is inheritance from the habits of the
crawling dweller."l
Baby boy whose visage chubby
Dotng mother marvels at
Full of health albeit grubby-
Why are you so fat?
Prehistoric, pthecoid!
Who with nuts he chanced to gather
Filled his aching void:
''Who whenever hunger goaded,
Ate to please the passing mood
Nor his stomach overloaded
With some patent food.
mo, but later generations
Come, in which the infant slaves
Hunger off by dint of rations
Picked up In the caves.
Holding future meals in question.
Grasping all with eager fist
To the mill Of his digestion
Everything is grist.
consequently you who follow
Him In lack of self-control,
With atavic impulse swallow
Dirt and pins and COAL
Thus, with sage pedantic chucklings.
Watching each unwholesome bite.
Science from the mouths OF sucklings
Still receives new light.
-(Punch.
The question how many very old persons there
are In Paris has started in connection with the
death of NJ. Legouve. the veteran Academician.
and the answer is now supplied by some municipal
statistics which have Just been issued According
20 these figures. Paris contains 10.617 octogena-
rians while of nonagenarians OF NJ. Legouve's
age ninety-seven there are upward of 531. IL being
added that of these fewer than eighty-five Will
be centenarians in the of few months.
So et least statistics affirm OF downright