The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-08-30
A PREPOSTEROUS AMERICAN
WRITES ABOUT BRITISHERS

one o'clock. at which time after a thor
ough brushing of hat and clothing by
his clark and leisurely wash ND his
cab is called and the serious business
/ of luncheon is undertaken.
If for one reason or another he only
feels up 10 a light repast, his order
| will probably be somewhat as follows;
/ A thick cut of beef, mutton or lamb,
vegetables, a salad washed down with
| bitter, stout or ale followed by toasted
1 biscuit, cheese and a demitasse or two
/ after which comes the inevitable game
/ of dominoes or chess with a possible
return to his business by p. m. and
| in a physical condition that would
! cause an American to swear at mental
! labor.
Between 1920 and l O'Clock is the
time to transact serious business in
London. An Englishman plays at
work and works at play. See him at
! cricket, football, golf, punting. boat
| ing, fishing or shooting and you see
him working mentally and physically.
On the continent and in America
afternoon tea is relegated to the fair
sex with hardly an exception. To the
| Britisher tea is as much an essential
as breakfast, luncheon or dinner. No
| office is complete without its tea SER
vice and woe betide the Office boy who
| allows the water to boil. 1t has been
explained to the writer at great length
that the water should only just come
| to the boiling point. Why? Ask an
Englishman.
| Practically the same terms of con-
| tempt are used by the Britisher of the
pie-eating American as this same
American makes use of in speaking of
| the tea drinking Englishman. The
! Travelled man. be he English or Ameri-
| can. learns to value both in modera-
/ ton. Mr. Bayard, the American Min
lister to England. in responding to the
toast Thanksgiving Day" at a BAN
quet given by the American Society in
| London at the celebrated Holborn
Restaurant on that great American
| day. opened his remarks by thanking
| and congratulating the cafe manage
| ment upon the variety of distinctly
American dishes on the menu. With
short pause he continued: 1.-The less
| said about the American dishes placed
before us on the table the better-they
were only on the bill-of-fare-"
1t seems that a cook from one os the
| American battleships had been offered
and Indignantly refused. Could an
| American do more than an English
man. even in cooking his own dishes?
| Taking into consideration the cose of
| the British Aristocrat toward labor,
one can imagine the sentiments with
which our Montague Vernon Ponsonby.
Esq. viewed the Labor Day parade
in New York. though from his descrip-
ton one might safely say that all the
| liars are not confined 10 the States.
He must have worn rose colored
glasses indeed to have seen the various
costumes as given by h-7-and Where
pray in all America did he unearth
1 his 500 chimney sweeps to say nothing
of New York alone. To recognize labor
at all should be considered bad form
suppose. but to allow ii to parade
under it's own banners upon its own
particular day instead of being simply
the necessary evil to swell the shouts
| and huZzas for royalty or one of
royalty's pampered minions whose one
claim to recognition lies in being his
fathers son, is one of the Characters
tics which causes this Britisher ESQ.
| to entitle us ''preposterous."
The parade which in the States on
September first of each year symboliZes
another mile stone in the pathway of
hard working. horny handed labor. en-
couraging to new and better endeavor
for the coming twelve month is viewed
as an impertinence. Has this ESD. ever
viewed the Lord Mayors show in Lon
don? Did it ever occur to him that
an American might look upon it as
huge joke. a puppet show, with the
main puppet in his impossible toggery
and ludicrouslv gilded coach well up
I in the van.
Parades are a relic of paganism and
are the expression of either he-o-wor-
ship or ACKNOWLEDGEMENT from be-
fore the times of the Egyptian religious
pageants and Roman triumphs down to
st. Patricl,'s Day, Lord Mayors Show
or Labor Day.
But to expect tolerance from our En-
glish cousins in any matters not in
some way linked to themselves or their
much Wanted forefathers is certain to
merit the term ''preuosterous.'
Asst is only 127 years since we pre-
posterous Americans relieved our En-
glish relatives from the responsibility
of showing us the modus oDerandi and
as a consequence have made such a
dismal failure both politically and
commercially compared to the bril-
liantly scintillating success of the
Mother Country during the same
period, it is most kind and friendly OF
our cousins" to put us right when
they can; or could ii be -- could IT,
possibly be a case of "sour grapes?'
\ ''PREPOSTEROUS AMERICAN
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