The Caldwell tribune., 1903-05-02

Most of the men who own 81,
are holding them foy J wv y
Baltimore American. ~
Mrs. Henpecque Married ~, :,
longer than single men. Hennaa. y
Yes; and it serves them right NV, aus1
Free Press.
MARY" said the mother sh..,
"you mustn't say Well / neyers * Sy
is slang" swell I never slang no.s' ~
If ! know it." ss'ss
II used to consider him ono T.
most interesting takers / ever ho..ss
Eyes; but that was before Il Nv nv
telling the cute things his baby sssss ,sss
Not one, but many: Mrs, stnhb.
They have captured the cleyerest has' j
robber in the country, dear. MI stnss
Indeed! Which hotel did he keen,
Tit-Bits. ra' ~
Literal: Mistress-What in the val,
are you putting ashes on the floor 4
Bridget? Bridget-Shure, ma'an n
didn't yez say to doost the parla,,
Town and Country.
The modern novel Is bounded On 4,
east by blood, on the west by thundr
on the north by gossip, on the sorl
by inanities, and Is surrounded by h
vertisements.- baltimore News.
Doctor" said the wife, do I,
think dyspepsia makes my husband
ritable2" Il know it." replied The M
Of medicine. "I'll try to get him NJ
SO l can get my bill without d klcA
Little Boy" demonstrated the XII
Old Lady, don't you know Il Is Nj
wrong for children like you to snoI
cigarettes?" Jaw, gwan," replied n
Incorrigible, "do youse expect me I h
'em?"-Cincinnati Commercial mil
une.
Il understand" said the Germs
town girl, that you and Charlie Il
engaged" mot yet" replied the t7s
full maid. although he held my haI
for over an hour the other evening ii
that's good ways toward being
gagged"
John, dear" said the poets wife
wish you'd write poem thatn bR
three pounds Of beef; and wen need
sonnet for ham, an ode for sack
-four, a lyric for lard, and a Quadl
for a box Of matches. There! BELLE
that's all this morning."-Atlanta Cd
stitution.
in your vermiform appendix
surgeon told him after the opert
was over, 1--WE found, strange to III
a small brass tack" THAT prOEa
was right" feebly answered the Y
man, when said 1t was somethl4
had eaten in mince pie, ,"-Ghld
Tribune.
Yes" said the meek looking wOna
I'm glad Mr.. Barker isn't on II
duty any more" Did he find t
some? VERY. Mr.. Barker could
express an opinion without appear
to agree with some of the other na
and it irritated him terribly."-El
ington Star.
Jeweler-Diamond shirt studs! y
sir; here's q set, neat little stones
$125. Customer-Huh! Out hone
California 1 can get Jeweler--A
yes, pardon me, here you are. Just
at these big flashes. Three caratS ~
Sell you that set for $3.50.-PhHaa
phia Press.
Personal: Mrs. CliftOn-Yes
was furious about the way In VI
that paper reported her marriage
Avondale-Did it allude to her
Miss Clifton-Indirectly. 1t stated
Miss Olde and Mr.. Yale were nai
the latter being a wen-knoWn cOAs'
of antiques. ."-Saxby's Magazine
why don't you try to live q
your past?" asked the visitor ~
jail. Its no use." answered tne
oner. Not If you're sincerely SOn
'Bein' sorry don't do no good y
dey've got your picture In de IVY
gallery you've got to git out o De
ness. It's worse dan bein up w
trust. t."-Puck.
Washington officials say young
en- handle money more rapldV
older ones, and there can be no us
about it. The amount Of money
can pass through the hands OF ss'
woman has frequently paraiySe
young husband who thought ns
something Of a spendthrift hlu's
st. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Fiendish revenge: The burglar
ly opened the door Of the suburOal
, sleeping apartment, slipped inSus
found nothing worth stealing
him! he soliloquized: "pl ge
satisfaction out of him, anyss
; Thereupon he set the alarm ciOs'
the bureau for the hour of three
softly departed.-ChicagO TRIBUNE
Could recommend them: Il wop~
+ wise you," he said to the friena =
+ taking home to dinner, ito try ~
my wife's branded peaches. VI y
a l know you don't care for them !
, arily, but these are worth trylns
ira good, are they?" "Well' ! I
the brandy myself and dumpeu
ira bottle of it in when she