The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1903-08-14
TAYLOR AT TIE FAIR.


following characteristic letter has
been received by the officials of the
Rutherford County Fair Association;
Knoxville, Tenn July 81, 1903
Hon. N. G. Collier, president Ruther-
ford County Fair Association, Muir
freesboro, Tenn.-Dear Collier: 1t
gives me pleasure to say to you in re-
ply to your favor of the Oath inst
inviting me to be present at the fair
on Friday, Sept. 4, next, that | will
gladly accept, provided | may be per-
mitted to walk with Brom Ridley
through the golden streets of pump
kins, promenade with Crichlow
through the purple avenues of turnips,
shed tears of joy with Brother Weak
ley through fragrant houievaTdS vi
onions, gaze with the committee on
fat and glossy cattle fresh from the
fields and sweet with the breath OF
clover blossoms, listed for the prize,
and watch the frolicsome calves as
they bound forward to flowing udder
and wiggle their tails in speechless
bliss, not caring durn for the blue
ribbon.
"And, provided | am to be one OF
the judges on cantaloupes and water
melons, preserves and sweet pickles,
but specially exempted from passing
Judgment on the prettiest baby at the
fair.
"And, provided further, that no
candidate for the United States Senate
shall be permitted to enter the fair
grounds on that occasion, for / think
it would be beautiful tribute to for
mer greatness for me and Jim Richard
son to be the only big ants in the
sugar bowl.
provided further, that there shall
be no public speaking. because the
occasion ought to be distinguished for
the departure from the old custom of
shaking the jaw, except in song,
therefore let William Houston and
Horace Palmer sing: Sweet prospects,
sweet birds and sweet flowers, and let
all the other candidates for the old
shoes of the Tall Sycamore give US a
verse of Them Golden Slippers, and
let us have thirtv.three verses of the
sweet old ballad, Susanna, don't you
cry for me- by Senior Richardson's.
Let us have solo in G minor, L am
nobody's darling, nobody cares for me,
by Monsignor Collier-anus, and the
Anvil Chorus, led by Jesse Sparksio.
"Let the programme bristle with
fantasies, nocturnes, symphonies and
oratorios, to be conducted by the
famous master, Jiminez r. Jettong.
"Let me make the final proviso, that
shall not jar the nerves of Murfrees-
boro with THE Fizzle and the Blow. ;
clipping that the fair will be the
fairest fair ever seen in this fair land
of ours, and that it will be a living
picture, glowing with fair faces Of
fairy-like beauty, and many colored
draperies twisted around fair and vo-
luptuous forms, and with bold Ben
Hurs behind blooded steeds darting
around the arena, swifter than the
swiftest wing, in the presence of the
applauding multitude, with bands
playing and jack-asses braying, and
trusting that your people will sustain
the Fair Association in their noble
effort to promote the best interests of
grand old Rutherford, the rarest ruby
in the coronet of the Volunteer State,
and that there will not be one within
your county lines who will put himself
on record as selfish old farmer once
did when the committee asked him to
subscribe $50 to the fund to insure the
success of the fair, the stingy old man
shook his whiskers and said, Il can't
subscribe and money, friends, but you
can put me down for the biggest hog
in the county, am yours very truly,
"RoBERT L. TAYLOR"