The Cook County herald., 1903-05-09
FUN in SMA |. &. ADSn
uNtNTENTtoNAL FtUMoR FOUND
IN NEWSPAPERS.
Some Strange and Curious; Ways
: Adopted to Make Wants Public
Choice Villain Offered for Sale
Inexperienced Bug" Called for. >"

It may be- that the funny man is
not always original. Anyhow, he
apparently devotes the best days of
MS life trying to make other people
1eel ]olly-when they read his para
graphs In the newspapers. Be that
as 1t may, no man needs to be pro-
1essional humorist in order to get an
awful lot Of fun sometimes out of tho
newspaper advertisements:
10 while away the time. recently
the writer busted himself the greater
part OF an entire day delving through
pile of dailies and weeklies. The
work was done through mere curios-
lty, pretty much as work" is done
Dy the backwoodsman who with his
gun on his shoulder tramps out early
IN the morning in the brush to see
what he can get a shot at. There
was no thought of fun search in the
reading of the papers at the start.
Inc fun cropped up as the reading
progressed. The work" became not
a labor, but a. decided amusement,
Now, then, for some Of the best
specimens discOvered:'
Sinners wanted to. work on metal"
one advertisement began.
The same one was found in another
newspaper of the same date: But
there was slight difference. between
the two "ads." The word sinners"
read "spinners:''
Another "ad" in another paper was
just as good in its way 1t was:
Patent leather mems shoes at re-
duced rates."
The following one was all right. At
least it told the truth:
For Sale-A Scotch collie, thor
oughly trained; can tell black from
white at niglrt.''
Now what did the advertiser, in the
following think of when he. left out
the small ladies?
Large ladies' neckwear house de-
slres to secure city salesman: state
age" etc.
Ihe following is good one:
Lost-Dog answering to the name
OF Gypt; can waltz on both legs.''
Listen to this:
'$25 Reward-A lady's gold watch.
lost between Union Square and
Twenty-third street,
Here is one that may have been
written by a husband who suddenly
remembered after he had been to his
lodge" that his wife had given him
verbal instruction to have an "ad"
inserted in daily paper of this city:
Board without lunch table. must
be too good; one bed"
What the advertiser meant tn saw
as the corrected "ad" the next day
showed, was that breakfast and din
ner, but no lunch, were wanted; that
the table must be good, and that the
two persons wanted only one bed.
Here is e weird one:
For Sale-A choice villain, White
stone, l.. l.; fishing, boating.
The fact is, the advertisement pub
l1shed the next day, properly, made it
plain that the advertiser had a. villa
IN Whitestone which he regarded as
choice, and he so described it.
An advertisement appeared in a.
newspaper last summer which came
out second time, but in quite a new
form. Whether the original shane
was the result of the hasty work of
the advertiser or the typo is a oues-
ton. This is the way it came out
first:
10 Let-Cottage at New Rochelle
faces the Sound, good mosquitoes.
The "ad' appeared more invitingly
when republished in a reformed con-
dltlon with two words that had been
forgotten by the advertiser in his
hurry not to miss his train for New
Rochelle, or by the man behind the
types. 1t read thus:
ITO Let-Cottage at New Rochelle
faces the Sound, good bathing. no
mosquitoes"
The following is a decidedly good
one:
Wanted by commission house an
experienced bug to assert SAMPLES of
woolen goods" The same ADVERTISE
ment in another paper asked not for
bug, but boy