The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-08-07
THE NONPAREIL MAN
And then what fix this world would

have been in.
Farmer Ben, in his Austin Transcript,
is "agin Wall street. and the specula ting
element. He says:
The big steel trust has shrunk hundred mil
lions and the total shrinkage foots up into the
billions. OF course, this shows how much too
high these fictitious values and stocks were
down on this speculatin' business: 1t amt ac-
cordin to natural laws It's just skyrockety
and visionary and cheatin'. wonder If all the
gumps that have been buyin' mimi and OIL
well stocks in the past three years at cents on
the dollar and were goin' to get such enormous
dividends to make 'em rich ever got cent re-
ments
But Farmer Ben has a little speculation
of his own. That pays pretty well and is
pretty safe. 1t is deal in cow futures.
This is Farmer Ben's description of the
game:
never put cent into such truck. Instead,
buy calf and raise it, and when it grows
sell it for $50 or $40. A S. calf increasin' to
$40 steer in two three years amt bad
for speculation, and the best of it is the steer
Is right under your eye, and it's yours and
there amt any monkey business
Yes, and think Of the joy Of feeding the
little critter.
If the doctors of law the LIDS,
become too thick in the neighborhood it
might be well to look up their records
and find whence came these learned and
ponderous capital letters. Attention has
been called to the matter anew by fake
law foundry at Nashville, Tenn. A law
yer at Ottawa, Kan, has been investi-
eating the matter. He received a letter
from an institution which signed itself
1.-THE American Nashville College Of
Law" In this letter it was proposed
by the college to confer upon the gentle
man the degree of doctor of laws, and 1t
was stipulated that he send in SO at
once.
1--WE are DESTROYS of honoring a few
distinguished gentlemen. in your state"
said the letter, 'and you have been Sc
lected as the foremost. Please inclose $40
as requested"
With this letter was a list of questions
to be answered by the foremost citizen
about to be honored. Some Of them were
as follows:
care you married or singleT' Profession or
avocation:'' IF not a graduate, state time
spent in study do you believe in co-educa-
ton of the sexes in college Of law?" DO
you smoke chew drink intoxicating hquor!
''Do you take exercise datly?'' WAS Pope
| right in saying: Drink deep or taste not OF
the Pierian Spring?''' Are you subscriber
| to Legal Lore? -
| Having answered these questions (and
sent along the 500 the applicant received
| his degree at once, for it was declared by
the dean of this Tennessee college that
| delays were dangerous. "It is our motto"
said that worthy gentleman in his letter
to candidates, that we shall pass thru
| this world but once, and therefore any
good thing that we can do, or any kind
ness that we can bestow upon truly
worthy one, let us do it now; let US not
defer it, nor neglect it, for we shall not
| pass this way again..
This sounds like the work of a joker,
60 1,1y{ ha
paper, the Journal, that helped make
the investigation. That papers agent
found that there was an actual organiza-
ton at Nashville which was and is ped
ding out college degrees in the manner
. described. There is reason to believe
that it is being extensively patronized by
weak minded people. If you find very
cheap skate painfully dragging around an
5 LID. after his name, you may form an
, astute guess whence 1t came.
Another instance similar to the above
is that Of the Hartman university" II
) deals in D. DIS. The fraud has been re-
i vealed thru libel suit in England. This
! suit was brought by, Congregationalist
i. clergyman of London against the Chris
E tan World after that paper had declared
: that the degrees issued by Hartman
Tenn university were those Of a fake
E institution, and were Contemplate ant
e worthless At the request OF the Chris
: tan World professor Of Yale went t.
Hartman and made an investigation. He
found there, in a delapidated building, 2
,, class in elementary arithn1e tic, some
. . young women learning bookkeeping ant
= typewriting, the director of the schoo
: Of domestic science keeping house for al
h oil agent and the professor Of astronomy
practicing dentist. During this inves
! tigation letter written by the presiden
: of the college to the British clergyman
was procured. It reads as follows:
My Dear Sir: Your letter Of March q duly
received I will fix your degree as per you
WISH Divinitatis Doctoris I have arranged
your name as to my books to show tina
your degree earned, and 1t will come pre-
' merito, and not pro honoris. This is comforting
2 the favor of recognizing your scholarship and
/ literary work thru the years. l am quite SURF
this will be gratifying, and. besides. 1t make.
sure the degree at commencement. Will
great respect, always your friend.
j. F. Spence
5 The English jury rendered verdict
2 against the clergyman without leaving
r the box, and he departed from the courr
an object of derision. This trial was
reported in the Outlook.
, Brethren, If we have any letters after
our names let us try to live up to them
If we have not let us not struggle to at
/ tain them In any way except, as oul
r learned friend of the Hartman univer-
sity so cleverly puts it, "pro merito."