Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-01-15
The Wet Durbar.

The Wet Durbar to be held by the
Ancient and Honorable Artillery Com
pany in Boston next fall in honor of
the Honourable Artillery Company OF
London, Is already the subject of re-
spectful comments among students OF
the art of war, actuaries of the life in
surance companies, political econo-
mists and societies and individuals in
terested in the drink problem. We
believe that Mr.. Edward Atkinson was
the first to demonstrate the connection
between the banquets of the Ancients,
the price of corn and the ravages OF
the phylloxera. Prof. James Sully
has shown in one of his most interest
ing chapters that the origin of the ex-
| pressions "to SMILE" 'to take smile
cannot be traced farther back than
1859, exactly one year after the foun-
dation of the Ancient and Honorable
Artillery Company. At the present
time no coal is used in the Armory ol
the Company, as the system OF heat
ling by spontaneous combustion works
admirably. The company's automo'
bile commissary tank train of thirty
cars is nearly completed. Hogshead
court -martials meet daily. The disci
pline Of the company was never more
severe. The Highball proving grounds
at Fort Young and Fortress Parker are
crowded daily. In short, the CON
pany expects every member to do hl'
duty and increase his holdings. The
Honourable Artillery Company of Lon
don will have to look down the barrels
of the most dangerous men of war tina
ever gloried in sack or pitilessly pu
an enemy in their mouths.
We expect to hear that awful wa
song,
"Take out the dead onesl'
Bring in the live onesI"
In the general chorus of complimen
to these Boston braves, one voice, kin
enough in intention, seems a littl
harsh and cracked. Our valued cor
temporary, the New Orleans Time
Democrat, cherishes the illusion the
nthe Ancient and Honorable Artiller
company supposedly represents th
aristocracy of Boston" II by th
aristocracy of Boston is meant the d.
scendents of the old gentle families {
the Massachusetts Bay Colony, th
Winthrops, Saltonstalls and Quincy
the names which for eight or mir
generations have had a representatiy
on the Harvard catalogue, that "ari
tocracy' has not the honor of sharin
in the exploits of the Ancients. NJ
have the newer men, sometimes class
fed as the .scodfish aristocracy,"
part in that worshipful company. !
be sure, there is direct psychologist
J relation between Goldfish and the cor
pany. Goldfish is shoe.horn, make
Of thirst. The company has inc
tinguishable thirst and Is forever tr,
ing to quench it.
Still, in sense, our trusty Ancien
are an aristocracy. They are IL
: fttest survivors. They are combi
Y alton and form of elect and miraculol
constitutions, much enduring liver
hearts OF oak, elastic and unconque
= able insides. All rum is their provinc
All thirst Is their business. All Mig
is their speciality. All grape is the
volley. All sheol cannot frightt
them when their paint is on and i
They are the greatest all-Scotch, a.
Canadian, all-rye, all-hot-Irish, ma
mum cam laude, never-say-die, no-hee
taps, care-killed-a-cat, we-won't-g
home-till- morning, set-'em-up-in-th
other-alley, all-punch-and-no- waite
whoop-we-are-t -the-people, where'th
ir Observation-Disclosures, never-need-to-leav
off team in the world. What says Il
old rhymeP
= III drink in the morning, drink at noe
The thirst in my stomach is such;
never can drink drop too soon,
Nor ever drop too much"
Not for mere pleasure, be it unde
stood; but to keep the stuff away fro
J weaker brethren. Yes, the Ancier
are the Boston Aristocracy of Thirl
-NeW York Sun.
nyt xxfr