West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-11-19
mrs. DONSER'S FIND.
She Discovers Her Husbands Notebook
With Remarkable Entries.

On varions occasions since last New
Years Day Mrs. Bowscr noticed Mr..
Bowser making sly entries In a note book.
but though having considerable curiosity
In the matter she asked no questions. He
| might be making notes for the plot OF a
play. or he might be Jotiing down statistics
| 10 work into his next speech. The other
day. however. as she was hanging up coat
which he had cArelessiy left lying around.
the note book fell out and the long -stsnding
mystery was solved. I, was not a diary
but Mr.. Bowser had jotted down facts and
figures as follows. to be used when occasion
| demanded.
Ian. ist.--Complaln that she Is using too
much coal. and hint that she Is selling
part OF Il TO add TO her pin money. She
will probably deny the impuiatlon. but you
must firmly insist on retrenchment In this
direction. Say that your coal Is costing
twice as much as Green's and II she denies
II get Green to lie about the matter
Jan. roth.--It Is always Ia order TO com
plain OF the gas bills, no matter whether
they are larger or smaller than the month
before. Mention your suspicious that she
keeps three or fcur burners going all day
to spite you.
Jan. aoth.--It will be q good idea to
descend upon Mrs. Bowser suddenly with
demand TO see the grocery book Speak
OF her increasing extravagance. whether
there Is any Increase or not. Express
your opinion that she would be only too
glad to send you to the poorhouse. The
way to make woman economical Is to
complain OF hcs extravaganza.
"Feb. rst.--Mrs B. had the audacity this
evening to laugh at poem had composed.
passed her action over for the time being.
but II will keep There will come an
occasion when can charge her with burst.
Ing water pipe to make me all the expense
possible State that your plumbers bill Is
over $500 per year. and all on her account.
and don't take of dollar. No water pipe
ever bursts unless some one around the
house hits II with the ak.
February Is.-To.day Mrs. Bowser lost
her purse containing 40 cents Bear that
In mind for future occasion. Stick 10 Il
that the amount was %. &C aud declare that
she Is not a woman to be trusted to go
downtown with anything beyond her car
fare. II she rcrorts that you have lost your
pocketbook on three different occasions
dodge the issue by denouncing the ex
travagance of the weekly milk bill Deny
everythiug-admit nothing. That is the
only way to get ahead of Mrs. Bowser.
March 3d.-Came home tonight to find
the door bell out OF order. The battery
has probably run out. but whenever we
have another scrap Mrs. Bovscr must be
charged with having deliberately yanked
out 10 feet OF wire. Declare that IL costs
$foo per year to keep that bel in order.
and don't take off cent. She may lay IL
to tramps and peddiers. but don't let her
dodge II.
march rsth.--came home to find a tramp
| At the basement door. Mrs. Bowser had just
handed him out sandwich. Booted him
out OF the yard but didn't say anything TO
| her. Kept IL for future ammunition, and
expect II to prove big thing At proper
time shall declare that she has fed at least
5000 Migrants during the last year at my ex-
pense. and that the cost has been at least
sI.ooo. Don't let her squirm out Of It by
any talk about charity
april ADA letter from Mrs. Bowser's
mother says that the old lady has had sro
counterfeit bill passed off on her by tin
peddler When you are threatened with
your mother-in law again use this incident
for all IL is worth Declare that none Of
your family ever lost penny in that way.
and wonder II the old lady Won't be buying
a gold brick next. She herself will probab.
ly show up during the summer and the
minute she begins to glare at you just
mention the case with a proper sheer.
tobacco coupon on her. and she would then
be subdued for the rest OF her life. Keep
| the idea Ia mind.
April 7oth.--Had heated discussion
with Mrs. Bowser last night over the
question whether cucumbers are fruit or.
a. vegetable. Had l remembered the
broken pane OF glass IN a side window and
charged her with smashing IL out with
club should certainly have got the best Of
the argument. Keep II in mind TO look out
for broken windows hereafter. and insis,
that Mrs. Bowsers careiessness costs you
$500 per year in glass alone.
MAY roth Discovered thar Mrs. Bow
ser gave one Of my old vests TO a tramp
yesterday. Didn't say much. but 1t will be
a good thing 20 bring up later on. When il
Is brought up you want TO claim that there
was Gao bill In one of the pockets. and
that the amount will. OF course. be stopped
from her pin money. Make a whole suit
Out OF the vest. and declare that she gives
away half dozen year. IL she seems to
be getting the best Of the argument. which
doesn't seem possible lug In the fact that
the Ice has been left outdoors TO melt on
more than so different occasions this
sumner. She may try to lay IL on the cook.
but hold her with a firm hand
June Ist-Brougbt painting by an old
master and Mrs. Bowser laughed at il and
| declared that ! had been taken in think
was. bot showed her the pieces Of
broken platter In the back yard and proved
that her shiftlessness was making a poor
man Of me. Broken dishes. stray ciothes
pins. battered tinware and the like are
good things tor argument. Don't let, Mrs
Bowser lag Il of on the last girl that left.
but bold her right TO the mark.
June 7oth--Another chance 10 get back
At my motherin-law. Word came yester.
day that she had nearly died from having
taken paris green for bakln powder.
didn't sag much when ! heard oft. but
. VIII prove the bigges, kind Of a club later
on. On her next visit here 20 make the
fur ny. shall start fass just 10 have the
pleasure Of taking the old lady down peg
or two. Good thing 70 ask Mrs Bowser
occasionally II her family we're born green.
July Ist--came home this evening 10
md that duriDg the day the cats had Dug
~ aad eaten the six hills Of Early Rose
potatoes ! had planted IN the back yard.
Held Mrs. Bowser personally responsible.
Of course. and had much the best OF the