davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1903-03-05
ADVICE FOR A WAITER.
'o" blRNr Made Sure That the
Man would Remember Him
Next Time

-, O'i1 Nl''"S" man Iaoor'ng under
'i'1 u''"''' ''ldFe oI extreme provo
'r'.'r'' 'e'eh'iN I"'n" a novel way
y. ''''"' nuns an arrogant walter that
III. Ha'''i'" "I serving was wholly un-
N"''' "eu"rS' says the chicago Irlb-
uir,
ne rIea' hao peen an eXasperating
'i1, N"el'tEer the waiter was want
t" ne '"uii not ne found When he
WIS NOT wanted ne was lowering
'p'u' '"e ''Pie attempting to hear
""d' was oeIhg S"Ia. ihe host and
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1903-03-05
Western Kansas is buried under the

Western Kansas is buried under the
heaviest fall OF snow ever experienced
in that part of the state.
There are % United states inspectors
between Halifax aud the Pacific Coast
20 see that diseased immigrants do not
enter the United Safes.
The storm in Wyoming iast We; k was
the most disastrous OF the winter.
stockmen Of the Eastern part OF the
sta'e claim that they will lose 25 per
cent Of their uoIdiugs.
A strong commercial club has been
crlauizei at Cottage Grove.
J. F. Delaney, postmaster at Lo!o,
Mout, had his son arrested for robbing
the mails and then went on his bond
for 500.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1903-03-05
a Remarkable Case.

O1e OF the most remarkable cases OF y
pneumonia, is that OF Mrs. Gertrude f.
Fenner, Marion, Ind, who was entireIy
cured by the use of On Minnie Cough
Cure. She says: "rhe coughiny and
str8inng so weakened me that | run
down in wei ht from l4S to 81 ponnde
| tried q number OF remedies t. O avail
until | used One Minute Cough Cure
-Four bottles Of this wonderful remedy
cured me entirely Of the congh
strengthened my lungs and restored me
to my normal weight, health and
strength" Slocum Drug c.. IJpe
D ug Co, lone.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1903-03-05
KaD GIVEN Gp HOPE.

III will express my thanks to YOU for the
kindly advice you have given me in regard to
my case" writes Mis- Carrie J. Wharton, of
Dunavant, Spottsyivania Co. Virginia uWhcn
l wrote to YOU last spring / was i'll a terrible
state OF health. Had given up all hope of ever
helng better ! spit up my food ali the time
ana II seemed soar as vinegar. I would have
bad SICK headache every other week; in fact
my head never felt clear, and | was perfectly
broken down under the strain of losing my food
constantly. ] had read a great deal in YOUR
books of what Your medicine had done for
others. 50 wrote you and got Your advice
Bought two bottles of Golden Medical Di~coy-
cry and the first dose l fook l felt better
When had finished taking the two bottles the
splitting up had entirely stopped and my head
was much better ] believe YOUR medicines are.
lust what YOU have said of them.
II carefully read the books YOU sent me and
shall always speak good word for the Golden
Medical Discovery whenever ! have a chance
You can publish this if YOU think II WORT,
while. 1t might induce some one else TO try
your medicine who was suffering as I did II
was by the testimonials of others that I was
induced TO try 1t. shall ALWAYS RELY r1ror your
advice and feel safe to do as you tell Ine.p
DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cure con-
stipation, its causes and consequences
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1903-03-05

WELL continued the exasperated
guest, 81 want you to remember me.
you will make no mistake. And if
you ever see me in this place in the
future you will keen INST as far away
from me as ;he walls viii allow. IF
you should attempt to wait on me
again, give you fair warning that
I'll bounce one of these oak chairs
off the top of your head"
With this parting shot the out
ragged guest wheeled on his heel and
walked briskly from the place. The
waiter did not recover for half an
hour.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1903-03-05
The Stomach is fhe Man.

Z, week stomach weakeus the man be
sause it cannot transform the food he
eats into nourishment. Health and
strength cgrnot be restored to any sick
n8n uf weak woman without first restor-
ing health aud strength to the stomach.
\ wesk stomach cannot digest enough
ioOd to feed the tissues and revive the
si7ed aud run down limbs and organs of
ine body. Kodol Dyspepsia Cure
D'esnses, puriies, sweetens and
Strengthens the glands and membranes
Of The stomach, aud cures indigestion,
dyspepsia and oil stomach troubles.
S2oaum Drug Co. lone Drug Co, lone.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1903-03-05
Clergy Half Fare Permits For 1903.

The issuance of the customary form of
O K. Il y. individual half fare permits
will be discontinu= d with the close of
the year 1902, and for 1893, Joint Clergy
Certificates issued by the Trans Cont-
mental Passenger Association will be
honored on our line. These permits
will be good in the combined territories
Of the Western, Southwestern, and
Trans-COntinental Associations, embrac.
ing practically the territory west of Chi
cago and st. Louis. A charge of 81 90
is made by the Trans-Continenta AS
sociation to cover tie expense Of issuing
these permits.
4. L. CRAIG,
General Passenger Agent.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1903-03-05
No OTHEys k2ocrOR EGR ME-,

Last spring carly I wrote you nv feelings
and an condition, ~ soys Mr. A. J. Vanderwater s-}
west DIVISION Street, Chicago H., wand YOU
Discovery "a few bottles), and then write Won
how felt l am happy to say am getting to
lccl hne. In all have taken six bottles of the
Discovery and four or FIVE vials of thu, littIs
,fellets.' They have done me worlds of good
All my friends say: Vanderwater. how well
you are looking. What in the world have Won
been doing; tell them have been doctoriug
with DR.. X. Y. Picree of Buffalo y. Y. sWhvf
they say 'y0u haven't been there No
say, but took his Golden Medical Discovery
and Ills little i'cilets.' These medicines have
wrought the great change i'm me From SLOW
NOPE OF man that could hardly crawl tired
and sick all the time, and could 90 no work
to man whp can work sleep eat and feel
fine, and that tired feeling Is eli going away.
! am very thankful that wrote TO Dr. Pierce
HIS Golden Medical Discovery and his Inn.
llyer Pellets nave almost made a new man
0I me. feel young As l did at thirty ye.l,
No other doctor tor ne only DE pi.rc.. . -
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1903-03-05
PLAGUE OF LUXURY.
How It Has Fallen Upon the People
with Prosperous Times.
With the Introduction of Modern
COnveniences and the Country.
Growth in Riches, Even the
Flat DweJIer Lives High.

The growth of luxurious living in
America was very slow during the tirst
so years of the republic. Indeed, up to
the breaking out of our civil war the
inequalities of fortune were not so
marked as to make those who lived
sumptuously according to the stand
ards Of those days seem SO farremoyed
from the merely Weil-to-do as to be al
most in another world. In the earlier
days, any sober and industrious man
could prosper, even though lie did not
perform merely manual Ia Dor. There
was work for every one TO do, and no
one was more in demand than Mr.. Jack
Of-all-trades, who now walks supertlu-
Gus in the dusty highway, with no one
to applaud his adaptability, none to
need his ingenious services. Food was
plenty, land was cheap rents were low
BE honest and you will be happy, was
not mere cant; it was the solemn and
the grateful truth. Pretty nearly
every one lived well, but pretty nearly
all lived plainly. With better houses.
with better water supplies. with i'm
then with the introduction Of illum-
mating gas, and most of all with the
greater wealth which came at the end
of the civil war, the growth of luNuri-
Gus living began taking tremendous
strides. Luxury with poor light after
sunset, luxury with few Of the means
Of personal cleanliness, does not mean
>
Harlem fat at 5000 year can com
mand more of the kind of luxury Just
mentioned than say the diSsolute
Charles II. ever dreamed o. But the
wealth that comes with new fortunes
to new people was really what BEGAN
the race which may be called the Mil
ionaire Stakes for all AGES. says
writer in Ainslee's Magazine.
Before these stakes were opened
there were a few fortunes in this coun-
try, Some We're made in toe trade with !
the east, some Wera made in strictly |
domestic commerce. sore were found |
ed in piracy, and other adventures 5v !
sea. but the greatest number and the |
most stable were those which came
from the @hreWd Investments in land |
which was enhanced in value by the
growth Of cities. Even M to the time
that the newly rich Ee@an 70 sulu"ge.
the owners Of the fortunes iuet 7-on-
toned We're pretty generally tclerahly
plain people. who lived rerv Quietly
and looked unOn those who made IN
us1lal display as too vulgar to come in
-ffIa 1,,,
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1903-03-05
ON THE E% RWu

There's many a successful business
man who sits i'll his city office and lets
his mind slip back to lis bovhood davs
on the farm. How good it felt to live
What an appetite he had How good
everything tasted How sound his Sleep
was How eagerly he rose with the sun
and raced with him through the long
dag. And now he's a successful man,
But he can't sleep. He doesn't eriov
his food. His stomach is weak, his
nerves are shaken, and he no more rises
with the sun to race eagerly against him.
Ills vitality IS low and now and again
his heart seems to plunge in his breast
as II 1t would break loose. That's the
price he has paid for success.
he mischief of the whole business is
that he buys tablets" of one sort or
another to "aid his digestion, and in
dul9cs i'll bronides and other nerve
stlnulants, Just to hold himself together.
ana wonders why he seems to be getting
worse.
The whole trouble with such man
generally lies i'll what is called a "weak"
stomach. The food he eats does not
noaTish him because it is only partially
dlgested and assimilated. No man can
be stronger than his stomach, because it
IS III the stomach and allied organs of
digestion and nutrition that strength is
made from the food which is eaten.
DT. PlerCe's Golden Medical Discov-
cry cures diseases of the stomach and
other organs of digestion and nutrition.
1t restores the strength of the body in
the only way strength can be restored
by food which is perfectly digested and
asslnilated, Wien the diseased stomach
with its allied organs is cured of dis
ease. II IS blood-making, body-build-
ing medlclne, lnasnuch as blood is made
from food and the body is built up by
blood 1t IS not a stinulant, containing
neither alcohol or any other narcotic
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1903-03-05

suah couldn't fin it nowheah,' and
then he burst into a happy darky
laugh and slapped his thigh joyously.
| told him how welcome he was to
the SO piece that he had pinched out
for himself, and I'm not certain that
| didn't give him another couple of
dollars to show my appreciation Of
his honesty. IT might not sound like
honesty to speak Of his swiping $40
from my Gladstone bag. but under
chance he had to grab it all, and con
sidering, too, the nature of Pullman
porters as they're supposed to be, |
think he was paragon of honesty
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1903-03-05

One-half of a cupful Of light brown
sugar, as much granulated sugar
creamed with one-half cupful of but
ter, one we'll beaten egg, one-half
cupful of grated chocolate, one and
one-half cupfuls of flour, one-quar-
ter of teaspoonful of salt, one tea
spoonful of vanilla. Mix all together
to a soft dough, roll out a little at
time very thin and cut into circles
Bake in moderate oven.-Detroit
Free Press.
An Italian having written book
upon the art of making gold, dedi-
Gated it to Pope Leo x, expecting a
good reward. His holiness, firding
that the man constantly followed
him, at length gave him large, emp
ty purse, saying: "Sir, since you
know how to make gold, you
have no need of anything but a
to put it in"
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21
Salaries OF Legislators.

Congressman Of the United States
are better paid than any other legis.
lators. receiving $1,000 n year. mile.
age and stationery funds. Australia
allots its senator's and members OF
the house OF representatives 81 900 a
year without distinction. New Zea.
land differentiates. The duties OF the
lower house being OF more exacting
description than those OF the upper.
its members receive 1900 annually,
as against $3.50 paid 10 those OF tho
other assembly. Senators OF the Can.
adian parliament are rewarded with
81 900 a year salary and expenses at
the rate OF $40 a day during the ses.
sion. with maximum OF 81 500 Cape
Colony is not SO open.handed. It's lef.
islGtiye council aud house OF assembly
drawing s. n day per man.
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21
How the Pelican Feeds.

Charles +. Holder. the naturalist. dc.
scribing pet pelican which he form.
erly owned in Florida says: Il can
not recall that the pelican ever re-
fused food. After the most impossible
feeding II had the same detected.
half.starycd attitude and the same
asthmatic cry for more. II was only
after many months that | discovered
that the pelican can never be salts.
fed" lie thus describes the fishing
exploits OF these birds: In feeding
they generally flew twenty 10 thirty
feet above the water with rapid mo.
ton OF the powerful wings. holding
the head slightly upon one side that
they might observe the schools OF sar-
dimes. When the latter were sighted
they would plunge blindly downward.
opening the mouth widely just before
they reach the water. endeayorinE in
this clumsy manner 20 catch the fish,
which. not being able 10 see upward.
were entirely ignorant Of the ncarness
OF danger. Rising after the plunge the
pelican invariably ways his diminu-
tive tail-a self-congratulatory act
which confirms the birds stupidity. for
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21


the chances are one 10 Eve that n has
caught nothing. The bills are held
upward. the water allowed TO run out
of the enormous pouch. and then II
any game has been caught the pelican
losses It's beak upward. which throws
the fish forward or toward the point
of the beak. where Il Is often
held few seconds. from here
being dropped as Il were. into
the throat, which is very small
orifCe In veritable waste OF
pouch At this moment perhaps. n
laughing gull robs the pelican. Some
times IL alights on It's back. again on
its head, and the stupid bird makes
no resistance. the gull often uttering
its victorious 'ha.ha,' In advance. Just
as the fish IS thrown TO the tip OF the
bcak and protrudes from the side the
laughing gull leans forward, snatches
Il and rises alOft-to, in turn. be fol
lowed by the swift man-of.war bird.
In this simple way a pelican will be
robbed by successive birds and will
swallow but a small percentage OF
what II catches. which possibly ex.
plains why IL is always hungry"
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21
How Convert Was Made,

A lay delegate 10 tho Episcopal con
Tention OF the Newark diocese which
recently elected the Rev. Or. Lines OF
New Haven as bishop was very zeal
ous In advocating the selection OF an
other candidate. one OF those he APP
preached objected to his candidate on
he ground that he was not sufficient
~ strenuous In his methods.
why. you must be thinking Of some
one else said the layman In surprise.
Let me give you an instance OF his
methods.
When he first took charge Of his
present parish he was the same nne
specimen OF physical manhood that
you see to-day, but withal displayed n
lovely character OF gentleness. except
when you tried TO corner him. There
was a worldly minded young man In
the town who held several medals won
In athletic contests, especially in box
ing matches.
THE physique Of our rector excited
the admiration Of the champion, and
one day in ft OF athletic frenzy he
said, meaning no disrcspect but being
governed by his ruling passion
MY dear doctor II you were not o
minister ! should like 10 have you put
on the gloves with me. believe
could knock you out
Tho rector. like most modern
preachers in the Episcopal church a.
fond OF athletics and had stood pretty
well up in football AT his college Be
sides, he IS tolerably broad ecclesias-
tically. So he said TO the young cham
pion:
81 will make you proposition /
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21
Modern DANCING.

Rev. Reginald Campbell, Of the Lon.
don City Temple, during his voyage
TO America on the Campania, said a
number OF amusing things. One OF
them concerned dancing a young
girl asked DR.. Campbell II he did not
consider dancing graceful. "Profes-
sional dancing" he replied. lis. ad.
nit. graceful enough Ia some cases.
But what Is there OF grace In the
dancing OF amateurs? a man and n
woman, close together, spin solemnly
about room: the mans long black
coattails Zap. Such persons always
look TO me as II they had been hired
TO dance. and wero doubtful II they
would get paid"
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21
Made Fits Head Swim.

The worst two minutes ever had
In the ring" said "Lanky Bob Fitz.
simmons 10 an admirIag acquaintance
the other day. was with Peter
Maher in New Orleans In 1892.
guess ! got n little careless and let
him punch me ON the head" Fits
head Ats Cas hat III seemed Ike
trip hammer had struck me. My head
buzzed and swan and got light. Ny
brains didn't work didn't seem 10
know what 20 do. was ON my feet
all right. but had lost all sense OF
geEcralship. The Caly thing | d'i
was to jab at NIaher with my lc.t
while ! struggled To pull my added
brains to their senses. The round was
nearly over when came 90. The FIRST
thing | realized was that jabbing was
Just what Mahor needed. SO / kept IL
up through tie fight and won in the
twelfth round without striking an
ether blow"
The second meeting between Fi;a
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21
When Ones Nerve Fails,

u Is curious thing aad one that
icmains standing puzzle even TO
thoge connected with the business all
their lives. that iigAtropc. trapcze and
other daring performers who chiefly
work In the open air are Tar more H.
able to sudden nerve failure and TO
stage fright" 90 II Ray be called. than
arc the fellows who only show their
pTowcss under a roof.
Another fact equally we'll known Is
that once "A woman performer has
heard the ringing shouts OF az ap-
plaudlng public. once she has learned
some dangerous feat she will rUa
risks and quite fcarlcssly perform
tricks that no male In the same line
would dream Of The woman athlete
has not 10 be urged on; she has 10 be
rcstaiacd. more often than not II
may be- said al once that few among
the public know how near death auca
people occasionally are.
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21

will put on the gloves with You for q
quiet bout II you knock me out ]
viii agree with your friends that you
are the champion. II | knock you out
you shall attend church every Sunday
unless hlndered, for one year
The young athlete extended his
hand on the proposition. lie was In
GLOW about Il. not so much because
he was sure he would win as he was
an admirer OF the rector's physique.
II don't know where tho contest
took place. could not swear that Il
ever did take place. But very soon
after the incident / have mentioned
that young athlete became a regular
attendant In our church. Then nc was
confirmed. and, OF course. Is now a
full-fcdgcd churchman. All inside Of
year
And while he Is fond OF hunting.
fishing and cross-country running. etc.
he never speaks OF boxing any more.
hut he is the best churchman In the
parish. think the rector knocked
Il out OF him. Don't you think that
preacher who could do that IS
strenuous enough 10 be a bishop
Tho delegate whose support was be.
ing solicited replied that ne was In
favor of type OF man for bishop. and
~ pledged his vote then and there.
The vote was not delivered, however,
for the rector refused TO be a candi-
date before the convention. The lay
man who tells the story added
That's the sort Of preachers the
church needs to-day-preachers who
can knock a man into the church IL
Il can't be done In any other way"
New York Sun.
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21

and Maher occurred at Lantry. Tex,
In 1896. The Cornishman declared
openly that he intended to settle the
fight with one blow. Il have never
forgotten that time Maher hit me 10
the head. he said. and I'm going 10
make him sorry he ever did IL. I'm
going 90 hit him once. He'll lie down
when do a. Listen TO what I'm
saying. I'm going To hit him once"
After the battle Fritz said 10 his
friends Il never saw anything like
Il In the ring in my life. When Maher
stood up before me | could see q
look Of awful fear In his eyes as they
saw ne Pint out my left as II meant
to do some jabhinE His hair almost
rose on end. lie hadn't got over that
awful punishment In four years. My
left must have stuck In his craw. lie
made a swing AZ my head. stepped
aside. and as his own head went down
my right met him on the point OF the
chin. The floor vas his. and he stayed
there I said I'd hit once. and / did"
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21

The bishop OF Manchester. whose
lighting speeches in the house Of lords
on tho education bill were so much
commented on, was In his youth a
skillful boxer. Ho tells a tale OF how.
when he was young, he had a cousin
at Harrow, a sixth form boy. who
prlded himself much on his boxing
The bishop was persuaded by tho lad
to put on gloves and test his skill
The result OF the contest was that the
Harroyian was soon yanqulshed, when
he remarked admiringly: 1T is
pity you are a parson; you would have
done for the ring
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21
Puzzled by His Ambiguity.

~ baby was born to a certain min.
tstcr last Saturday morning. says an
Oklahoma paper. THAT evening the
officers waited on him with $50 in
cash. The next morning when the
congregation assembled two wags
.tood before the church door and one
net tho minister would thank the Lord
or the money first and the other bet
oe would thank him for the baby.
when the reverend gentleman arose
To pray he said: Lord, We desire,
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21

The Seryians have curious Gus
tom OF giving a parting kiss to their
deceased friends before final burial
and the observance OF II has caused
a serious epidemic OF dlphtheria. The
police project of Belgrade has accord
ingly issued stringent orders agains;
the custom. prohibiting II for the pres
ent, however, only in case OF those
persons who have died from that
mnlndN
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21

largely Supplied Are you man
Of family. SIR Yes sir; my third
son.in-law moves In to-day. Detroit
Free Press.
Love may be blind but the average
mothcr.in-law isn't
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21
Cost OF HAULING FreIoh,.

The cost OF freight haslIng per ton
per mile on the London Northern rail.
way. England's most important line.
expressed In cents. is sl.49; on the
Pennsylvania railway the cost is .lO4
OF cent and on the New York Cen.
trail .i16 Of a cent
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21
TO PUT DOWN FLIRTING.
Youths Of ST. Petersburg Form Peep
liar Club.

There Is an Anti.Flirtatlon club IA
81. Petersburg, which. as its name I'm
plies. Is to prevent wanton trining
With the affections OF susceptible
Toung people In tho Russian capital
and elsewhere. At a meeting recent
~ there were present thirty-soycn
Toung men belonging TO the higher
ranks OF society. who exchanged a
solemn promise 20 refrain from tho
pernicious habit and % prevent 9th.
ers from flirting. Those breaking
their promise must contribute for
charitable purposes $500 the first time
and S. 500 the second time. After the
third oncusc the guilty one will be ex-
PEELED frCm the club. and may only
be rcadmittcd after the expiration OF
one year.
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21
Wonderful Eater.

Or. II. L. Bonner OF Marion. Indiana.
claims 10 have the biggest appetite
OF any man in the world. lie began
one OF his recent meals with n Glib
steak and twcnty.lour hardboiled
eggs as an appetizer Then he went
on 10 a lob steak, fourteen cans Of
cold oysters. and half a pound Of
cheese. He Is still alive
The Yale expositor., 1903-08-21
on Mernnr Ia plannnd.

Lima. ohio. special; Plans for the
merger OF score OF stock oil compa-
oies are on fost here. among them be.
ing many OF the companies hoated by
Adams & Sarber.