Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-02-02

lHt lOllOWlut u gwen IOT lOe ktO-
eral use OF the travelling public and is
from the pen Of man who has been
aboard islands steamers for many years
and who knows whereof he speaks:
ADVICE TO PASSENGERS
When Conversing With Officers
on the
wilders Steamship Co.'S Steamers
by
T. r. Aveller. Esq
Kindly suit your conversation to the
humble mental capacity of the officer
you may be talking with Many of
them have been reduced TO totterins
wrecks through gigantic efforts to hold
their own in ordinary intercourse with
the average passenger. This is abso-
lutely essential.
The discussion Of political or other
abstruse questions should be avoided
as IL not absolutely fatal to an officers
usefulness II at least renders him in.
capable of coherent thought or action
for several hours.
BY observing the old adage that sim
PIE VutsllOHS DHlNs Suouiu w uu
dressed to men of simple mind" much
needless suffering and irritation may
be avoided.
Captain and Weather.
The Captain Tor any senior officer
will be glad to tell you hat kind oil
weather we will have tomorrow or ever
next week it he feels in condition, ant
his corns are working as they should
He can tell you the depth OF the chan
nels at any spot that you may specify
He can tell you how fast the vessel !,
travelling at either side and just how
much faster she may be travelling a
one side or the other and why: als'
how long Il will take to get to the des
tination should the engines breal
down. He can usually tell the exac
minute that the vessel will arrive II
port. but as this involves great menta
strain, 1t should not be put unless nee
essary. The course steered, he usual,
knows within q few points but h
should be allowed few minutes u
think before an answer is insisted on
He can then strip his answer OF use
less technicalities and say which stree
in your native town he Is running par
allel with.
Ladies' and Astronomy.
Ladies who may be studying astron
omy may have their knowledge assist
ed on the first clear night and any Off
Ger will be only too happy to point on
| the Southern Cross. Pole Star. Moon
Bear. Goose. or any other object the,
may mention: this is easy but as h
has to look upward II is safer II tn
lady holds on to him while he is search
ing the heavens. He will then not fai
overheard. The cause of phosphores
ence Is an open book to him. and
there does not happen to be any he ca
produce II at will. II you would Xix
to know the points about first elias
flying fish, and why they have wings
or why a dolphin changes color whe
dying, or where Bos'n matches II
eggs. why Cinnamon always walk Il
single file. and parsons always brin
bad weather. you can always get tn
information from any officer you ap
proach carefully, SO he will not be shy
Management Of Weather.
The Purser must not be approache
on the subject of the weather as tina
Is altogether out OF his department
and the company does not care to en-
courage any attempts on the part {
young and inexperienced pursers
manage the weather. Tickets and cas-
are his strong points and the geograph
of the islands oozes out of every por,
When you want any reliable informa
ton as to when the volcano is goin
to break out again. and the best route
to get there. or even to Haleakala an
when you can see good sunrise Their
positive knowledge on these matter
and takes great delight In giving paS
sengers all particulars possible G
otherwise. When the ship Is full an
all the berths engaged you should In
press him with a sense of your impor
ance by insisting on having room
yourself, and hint vaguely that hi
future promotion depends on his con
pliance with your request as wor
Ia the president from you will make {
mar him. You may not have enoug
influence to chase Chinaman of
sidewalk but you can work the blu
that you are somebody. which will al
swer the purpose for that trip. II yo
are likely to travel again, II will
better to take some other way to gal
your point. Ordering up two or thre
magnums of izz is an excellent way I
gain his good will, and usually lasts Il
n time too.
Freight Clerk an Encyclopedia.
The Freight Clerk is an enCycloped
OF information on all matters concerl
Ing freight, baggage, packages, etc. i