The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-06-22
CLASSES IN COMMON SENSE.
Education I'm Which Many People Are
Painfully Lacking.
Brooklyn Eagle.

Brooklyn Eagle.
IF / had my way" sputtered the crank,
81 would teach few things in the schools
that haven't anything to do with ARITHMETIC
and Latin, but are sight more needed
would have a course in the primary depart
ment on common customs and common
sense. And every year would have the up
per classes examined in these branches TO
see that they hadn't forgot them. Now,
for instnace, have you noticed how many
people don't know enough TO turn TO the
right when they meet you? Next time you
try to walk along Fulton street. especially
when the women are-oh, love EN-, but
however, the next time you try TO struggle
up Fulton street in the shopping hour. you
turn to the right, and you'll find that there
are nearly as many as there are of the SEN
sible and considerable. One rule you may as
well observe yourself. before you go to
thinking up others for other folk. and that
is, always give woman the window-any
window with cloth and frills in it. She
won't give way for the huskiest man on
earth if there's a window full of dry goods
to get up against.
well, that's one branch in the course of
study: Always keep to the right. The next
mana peels over the premises. Did you ever
skate on an orange peel? Then you're not
likely to forget it. Then, oughtn't somebody
to spank it into a kid that she mustn't
strew peels and slippery things on the
walks. when by flip Of the hand these
things can be thrown into the gutter? OF
course.
Next lesson: Don't apply for a license to
carry a cane or umbrella till you have
proved that you have brains and heart
enough not to use 1t as a weapon. Go
around town on the driest and clearest days
and you'll find a lot of those chicken livered
chumps that are afraid to be without an
umbrella 364 days a year because 1t may
rain on the 365th, and they will carry those
things under their arms at such an angle
that the point comes just where your eye
does. When these two points meet. you're
out an eye. How simple 1t would be for q
teacher to tell kid not to do 1t, and then.
not to.
There's another thing I'd teach, and
that is, to talk with an easy tone of voice
and no go perfectly wild with excitement
il you saw somebody across the walk that
you knew. 1t makes me vince when get
into street car with some folks and then
have them begin to roar all their private
affairs into the ears of a mixed congrega-
ton, and call me by name and ask how Mrs
D. is and if my brother is out of Jail yet
and If they have sued me yet on that note
and if 1t is true that am going to be laid
off next week when the factory shuts down
though L don't know why should be. See
ing I'm in the office and not the shop-and
all that. 1t makes one feel as If his skin
was getting stripped off in public, or al
least as If you were losing all your clothes
and showing off to the strangers, moles and
ALL When you bawl your private affairs
and my private affairs into the ears OF
strangers it not only makes you unpleas'
antly conspicuous. but it interrupts the
fairs, which is selfish, l take it.
Then, wouldn't have whisky fiend
in theater, under any circumstances. un-
less he got an end seat. These people that
come tearing out between the acts, bowl.
ing over a lot of people who slaked their
thirst before they came in. smashing hats
and bonnets, and then trampling in agar
and filing the air with breath-I wouldn't
have 'em. 1t ought to be understood that
all animals Of that kind are to be placed
on the end seats in the galleries.
Yes. there are some other reforms.
want to send the woman through some sort
of preparatory school who climbs into ar
open car, refuses to take the seat where
there are only two other people, and either
Jams herself into the crowded bench where
am sitting, or stands up with her back in
my face. And want to educate the peo-
pie who smoke In the presence of women
without asking permission. And I want to
send the tobacco chewers to the cutters
when they have to suit, instead Of smearins
the sidewalks
"Thesc things are merely bad manners
They distress and injure other people, so
account 'em as bad morals. What?''