davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17
PATS GENERALsHIP.

Patrick Kelly was the only man
who owned a jaunting car in the
whole village of l., in Kerry,
and as he had the monopoly of the
business he made very good thing
by letting it out on hire to the neigh
bors.
One day Kelly, according to report,
INDUCED too freely at the village inn,
and as he became a danger to the
community by violently assaulting
anybody he chanced to meet in the
street, he was taken in charge and
locked up.
The next day he was brought be-
fore the magistrate and fined forty
shillings, with the option of seven
days.
When sentence was passed Kelly
scratched his head for second, and
then informed his Honor "that if it
was all the same to him he'd be taking
the seven days"
Accordingly he was taken into Gus
tody, preparatory to being conducted
to the Jail.
Now the prison was ten miles
away, and the only possible means of
getting a prisoner there was by driv-
ing. AS Kelly himself had the only
car in the place, there was nothing to
do but to hire it.
For some time the constable and
his prisoner haggled over the terms.
Kelly stuck out firmly for fifty
shillings, to be paid in advance, and
at last the constable had to consent to
the extortion. Accordingly they
drove off, and, without any misad-
ventures, arrived at the prison.
When they had alighted, Kelly
suddenly informed his companion that
he'd changed his mind, as the prison
wasn't a decent looking place, and
would pay the fine.
He thereupon drew out the fifty
shillings he had received, counted out
the forty, and paid them over to the
inspector. Then, jumping on his
car, he drove away, leaving the con-
stable to walk back.-Iit-BitS.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17
THE CARPET MUST GO.

A Detroit physician, in an article
recently published in medical book,
declares that the carpet must go. In
the handsomest Wilton he sees only
fruitful source of contagion, and a
home for the gladstone microbe.
The dirt that carpets gather, he
goes on to say, comes from the street,
and is, consequently, as full of i'm
purities and bacteria as it we'll can
be. The latter cling to the soft pile
until they are dislodged by the broom,
when they fill the air and presently
get into the lungs of whoever is near,
and begin their nefarious work OF
running the constitution.
1t is certainly not a nice thought,
and the worst of it is that it sounds
plausible as do all the things
unpleasant seeker after micrq
to say on that subject.
The Detroit physician points out
that the only way that awful results
are to be avoided is to give up not
only the carpet itself, but also all
large and heavy rugs. Bare floors
must be the rule, according to this
authority, unless one consents to use
light mats that may be taken out Of
doors to be shaken. Even then what
happens to the shaker is matter for
sad conjecture.
There is one alternative after all
if Our men folks can be induced to re-
move their shoes in Oriental fashion
before entering the house, all may
yet be we'll. Of course, the women
will have to follow suit, and when
those halcyon days arrive we will be
privileged to see tiny, h-heeled
shoes and big number mines reposing
side by side outside our portals, and
a moments inspection will inform us
whether or not to enter, or whether
it will be the part of prudence to go
in the back way so that the visitors
won't see us, and thus escape the hor
rors of lengthy conversation with
out pet aversion, Mrs Jones.
There are people who, even in this
enlightened age, do not believe in
the merry bacillus, and they are the
ones who, at the risk of life and limb,
will cling to the deadly carpet, no
matter what the result.
They point to the fact that their
ancestors used carpets and lived to be
90 years old or more. They say that
of great grandmother Smiths eleven
children all but one lived to be over
80, and that one was killed by bull.
But those who argue thus are foolish
people and vain. The reason the
busy bacillus did not finish in very
short order those ignorant ones of
olden times was because he had not
been discovered then, and there is no
glory in killing persons if no one
knows who did it. Now that the
modern individual stands in shudder-
i..fs fAa=af ,e.,i.,sy lest- -l.s-r.s-, i4sto-c.
microbe, there is fun to the latter in
running him down. A cloudy sky
and an easterly wind bespeaks hunt
ing morning.
But what to do with the carpets
that we already have is the problem
that will now afaict housekeepers.
If they have any particularly beauti
full ones that they want to give away,
no doubt some worthy immune can
be found who will take them, even
with their minute and disagreeable
inhabitants.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17
SIN CRAVEN UPON MARBLE.

There is quaint old parish church
in Plurien, Brittany, built in the ear
ly part of the fifteenth century and
having, with many other primitive
arrangements, the bell rope from the
belfry hanging down from the roof of
the pulpit, SO that the process of bell
ringing is performed in full view of
the congregation. But what was
more peculiar was the projection at
right angles from one of the walls
(also near the pulpit) of a sculptured
hand and arm of full size as though
held out from the shoulder by some
body built into the solid fabric of the
wall itself, and the hand opened and,
palm upward and fingers extended,
had a suggestion of appeal and solic-
itation which naturally provoked Gu
riosity.
AS there was no inscription or any
thing to hint at the nature of the
story that evidently lay behind the
sculptured limb, l made inquiry of
charming old lady who was decorating
the altar with flowers in view of the
next days high mass, and she told
me that many years ago, in the farof
past, there was wicked villager who
went indeed to mass, but was far
from devout, and on one occason he
so far forgot himself in the service
on hot summers day as to hold out
his hand through the open door or
window to an equally undevout friend
outside for pinch of snuff.
The pinch was duly given, but St.
Peter, the patron saint of the church,
was SO scandalized by so terrible
want of reverence that he straight
way paralyzed the arm of the offend
ing snuff-taker, who thereupon took
to his bed and died, but not before he
had admitted the justice of his pun
ishment and had left directions in his
will for setting up in the church of
his sin in order that all future vii
layers in Plurien might be warned
against the terrible enormity of al
lowing any distraction to interrupt
the devout hearing of the mass. 1t
is a curious story and reminds one
that there has been an infancy in re-
ligion as we'll as in most other of the
great motive powers of existence
GLASGOW Herald.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17
he running herd we started home

the running herd we started home
ward.
"Near dark, when we were about
to camp, brisk breeze was blowing
from the west, and we spied dozen
mustangs browsing on some dry mes
quite not half a mile away up wind.
We left our horses and crept up on
foot, with our Winchesters cooked,
ready for shot at the first alarm.
'Bless my soul, this lot of horses
wasn't going to run. l wished for
my mount in few minutes. One of
the party stumbled on a rock and,
we'll, his gun was discharged and up
went the horses heads; a big stallion
snorted defiance and ran toward us.
The bunch followed. We were pref
ty shaky.
:All fire at once 7 cred Hayden,
1eveling his rifle. We did likewise,
and as Hayden gave the word we all
pulled.
lone little mare threw up her tail
and ran off at right angles, but the
bunch kept right on coming at us
madly, with heads down and thun-
dering over the rocky soil. We could
see three of them were wounded.
"Click- -clack went our rifles, and
we fired again. Two of the leaders
fell, and the stallion sprang onto one
of Hayden's herders-a fellow named
Ballou. He was knocked down, but
fortunately the horse didn't tread on
him. The whole bunch was on us,
and how we kept from being trampled
to death I can't say. We all escaped
except Harry Jarvis, an Englishman,
who belonged with the irrigationists.
He was kicked over cactus and
scratched and pricked pretty badly,
but is all right now.
eve could hear the great yellow
ish teeth of the horses swapping as
they literally ran over us. The bunch
wheeled off and started back up wind,
but the ferocious black stallion tried
hard to come down on some of us
with his fore paws.
"Ballou brought him to his knees
with rifle bali. He fired while he
lay fiat on his back. The rest of us
were up and at Our guns, In an in
slant the stallion was struggling to
rise, kicking and swapping fire gleam-
ing in his whitish eyes.
cit seemed that everybody fired at
once-at close range-and Mr.. Stall
lion lay dead.
"That's his tail there. Chicago
Ch,onicle.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17
SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR.

Used to get SO tired of living that thought I'd
like to quit;
Troubles never come singly-struck me every
little bit.
Black Despair frequent guest was in the house
call my heart,
With the fends called Hate and Envy-each with
deadly, poisoned dart.
But I've changed my tune completely and I'm
singing all the while
For there's worlds of good in people, and abun-
dant cause to smile
Every black cloud hanging DER me has the sun
on t'other side.
And the cloud-sea's heavenward surface is a
glittering silver tide;
Every dew-drop is tear-drop-but the rain
bows hidden there
Every sigh bespeaks heartache-but it's after
maths prayer.
Every sobbing nighttime zephyr prints loves
kiss on trees and grass;
All the sorrows that befall us make us better ere
they pass.
"All that is is best"-I know it So I'm singing
all the while
For there's worlds of good in people, and abun-
dant cause to smile
o I'm mighty glad I'm living, and hope I'll
never quit;
Troubles sure TO keep on coming to me every
Black Despair may send his billet to the house
call my heart,
But I'm not at home to any one who bears a
poisoned dart.
have changed my tune completely-hear me
singing all the while
For there's worlds of good in people-lots of
things to make you smile.
IS. w. GtHiLdn, In Los angeles Herald.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17
DE APPLE TREE.

OATS mighty quare tale bout de Apple tree,
In de Pa'dise gyarden whar Adam run free,
Whar de butterflies drunk honey wild OIL Nanny
Talk bout good times bet you he had em-
Adam
OF man Adam UNI de Apple tree.
He woke one mornin' wild a-pullin' at his sleeve !;
He open one eye. an dar wuz Eve;
He shuck her ham, wild Honey, don't you
Talk bout good times 1 bet you dee had 'em-
Adam
Adam an Eve un' de Apple tree.
Den Eve tuck bite er de Apple fruit,
An Adam he bit, an den dee scoot
Oars war de niggers larned de quick callyhoot,)
An run an hid behime de fig tree,
Talk about troublesl bet you dee had 'em-
Adam an Eve behime de fig tree.
Dee had der frolics an dee had der filings,
An den after dat der fun tuck wings.
Honey mighty sweet. but bees got stings,
Talk about hard times! bet you dee had EN-
Adam an Eve behime de fig tree
'Kaze out er dat gyarden dee had fer ter skin,
Dee as wE Stops
Eve she knowed, but she fuse fer ter tell.
OF Satan's trail wuz all rubbed out,
Talkabout troublesl Well, bet you dee had 'em,
Adam
Adam an Eve an all der kin.
An when dee got back de gate wuz shot,
An dat wuz de pay what Adam got.
In dat gyarden he went no mo-;
De overseer gi' i'm shovel an hoe,
A mule an plow, an a swiDgletree.
Talk about hard timesl l bet you dee had 'em-
Adam
Anal er his chillun, bofe slave an free,
Dee had 'em-
Bekaze er de fruit er de Apple tree.
An de chillun er Adam, an de chillun's kin,
Dee all got smeared wild de pitch or Sin;
Dee shot der eyes ter de big hereafter,
An flung Sin aroun wild turble splatter,
An collogued wild Satan, an dat what de matter.
An troubles-well, bet you dee had 'em-
Adam
De chillun er Adam dat fergit ter pray
Dee had 'em-
An dee keep on a-had'n' 'em down ter
dis day
But dat want de last er de Apple tree,
'Kaze she scatter her seeds bofe fur an free,
An dat's what de matter wild you an me.
knows de feelin's what fotch on de Fall,
De red Apple an oil Satan's call
Lor' bless yo' soul, knows um all
I'm kinder lopsided an pigin-toed,
But watch me keep in de middle er de road,
'Kaze de troubles got is mighty load.
Talk about troubles! 1 got um an had um,
An know mighty well dat cotch um fun
Adam
An de Apple seeds what he scatter SO free
Adam
Adam an Eve an de Apple tree.
joel Chandler Harris, IN the Century.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17
DEER IN THE WOODS.

Next to the difficulty of compre-
hending the wonderful senses of the
deer is that of understanding how one
looks in the woods. Your ideas are
necessarily taken from pictures or
from stuffed deer or tame ones in a
park. You are almost certain to be
looking for a deer, whereas you
might better be looking for anything
else. In the woods you seldom see
half of deer and generally much
less, often only part of the Shout
der, or only an ear over log or leg
under it, bit of rump projecting
from a bush or a head and bit of
the neck reaching up for leaves.
The arcade of maple lit up by the
scarlet Of the ginseng and bush cram
berry, the little arbor where the wild
hop is yellowing over the thorn ap-
pies on which half a dozen ruffed
grouse are taking their breakfast, the
edge of the pool where the trout
flashes through the water over which
the chelone is still nodding, or the
darksome glade where the golden
petals of the witch hazel are closing
the floral march of the year would all
make lovely frames for that charm
ing artists deer with individual hairs
all glistening, the dark dew-claws
shining, and even the split in the
hoof flashing artistic light from its
edges. But the glittering times, the
proud neck of the sculptured war
horse, the shaggy chest and bulging
rump with tail full of shining hairs
are not there except at long intervals
when you may rout an old fool out of
bed and get him twisted as to the
points of the compass.-T S. Van
DYKE,
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17
H1rcH1NG HORSES TO HOLES.

Tying ones horse to hole in the
ground is a strange proceeding and
to the uninitiated seems impossible,
but in the great California deserts,
with their vast sand wastes and aka
line beds, where neither trees nor
shrubs have courage to grow, and
where sticks and even stones refuse
to exist, the demand for some efica-
cious method of hitching animals has
been imperative.
The white man, with all his ingenu-
ity, has always found the question of
anchoring his horse on the desert to
be an enigma, and unless he has
wagon to which he may tie his steed
he finds himself in a dilemma, but
the desert Indians, who have never
been accredited with superabundant
wits, have for many years employed
a method that is cleyer, unique and
effective-that of fastening their ami
mails to holes in the ground. During
recent trip to the desert a photog-
rapher caught an Indian in the very
act, and for the first time a photo
was taken that illustrates the scheme,
says the Chicago ReeO,d-Heyald.
Kneeling on the hot sand the In
dian began to dig with his hands,
which were as hard and tough and
impervious to pain as a dogs paw:
He worked energetically until he had
made hole about two feet deep. He
then tied an immense knot in the end
of the halter rope, lowered it into
the bottom of the hole filled up the
hole with sand and then jumped upon
it until the earth over the knot was
about as solid as the rock of Gibral-
| tar.
1t was a curious performance, but
the skill of the idea merits applause,
for unless horse is in a particularly
frivolous state of mind these subter-
ranean hitching posts will perform
their duty as we'll as the conventional
city arrangement.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17
EASY WHEN IT PAYS.

It's easy to be righteous when the profit comes
that way,
It's easy to have virtues if the virtues only pay
It's easy to be truthful, to be patient, to be kind,
behind.
Oh, it's hard to still be truthful when little lie
would pay;
Oh, it's hard to cling to goodness, seeing profit
slip away,
And the saints are few in number who go on
through thick and thin,
Being righteous when, unnoticed. they might
make it pay to sin. IS. 3. RiseT.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17
A WITTY REPLY.

Whenever the United States Su-
preme Court, on hearing the argu
ment of counsel for plaintiff in error,
is entirely satisfied that he has no
case, the chief justice is apt to say to
counsel for defendant in error that
the court does not care to hear further
argument. At one time Hon. Mat
thew Carpenter from Wisconsin was
counsel for plaintiff in error and open
ed the case. Before he was through
the court was satisfied that there was
nothing in it, and so when he had
concluded and counsel for defendant
in error arose Chief Justice Waite
said, "The court does not care to hear
any further argument.
Counsel was a little deaf and, al
though noticing that the chief JUS
tice spoke, did not hear what he had
said and turning to Mr.. Carpenter,
who sat beside him, asked what had
been said.
ooh, hang it p replied Carpenter
in tones audible to the bench. "The
chief Justice said he would rather give
you the case than hear you talk"
Nor ali parlor matches are unsafe.
Some of the marriages prove entirely
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17

TEACHER Where did you leave
your dictionary, Jimmy?" Jimmy
q left her home" Teacher
LEFT her home why do you call it
"her?'" Jimmy-'Cause that's
what dad calls it, cause, he says, it's
always got the last word"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17

Mrs. De JARR-"Is there an idiot
asylum near here?" Mr.. De Jarr-
"I believe So" Mrs. De Jarr-"Do
they take people on their own recon-
mendation?" Mr.. De Jarr-"My
stars How should I know? Why"
Mrs. De Jarr-"Oh. nothing Only
today got hold of package of my
old love letters.''
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17

THIS ODD notice of the departure
of an Arkansas citizen: Elected
to the Legislature six times, but died
in hope of a glorious hereafter"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17

HE-"I love the true, the good,
the beautiful" Miss Sereleaf-"Oh,
Mr.. Blank, this is so sudden"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17

To those who know him we'll, and
to whose interest in his unique per-
sonality is added their interest in the
old estate and the old manor-house,
with its century-o1d treasures and
relics, Charles Jones, Gentleman, is
as courteous in his manner and as
lavish in his entertainments as if the
broad and fertile acres and well-stock
ed cellars, barns and granaries of his
ancestors were at his disposal, instead
of the few unproductive fields and
weather-worn Colonial home that
have been handed down to him from
generation to generation.
Mr.. Jones, besides being the last
living member of his family, is the
last of the noble line of the Courts of
England, through whom he can trace
his descent back to the Norman Con-
quest and to William the Conqueror.
The facts with regard to this matter
do not depend upon tradition for YER
ifcation, but are contained in docu-
ments, patents and grants, the origi-
nails of which are in freproof vault
in Washington.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17

A curious story, backed by an en-
try in an old diary, is told of the way
in which the estate obtained its name
of Clean Drinking Manor. After the
defeat of Braddock by the French and
Indians near Pittsburg, a party of
British officers, among them Col.
George Washington. stopped at the
manor-house. They were royalty
entertained by the owner, Sir Thomas
Courts, a son to the man to whom
the original grant was made-so roy
ally, in fact, that the stock of wine
in the cellar, considerably depleted
by the lavish hospitality of two gen
erations of Courts, gave out complete
ly. The chagrin of the host was in
tense, but Colonel Washington, by a
very gracious act, placed him at his
ease and relieved the situation. The
diary of Sir Thomas Courts best tells
this story
''When the blacks returned and
told me, in the presence of some 20 of
my guests, that there was no more
wine of all the cellar plenty. Twas
embarrassed to the point that my
countenance took on the red of shame.
One or two of the scarlet-coated roys-
terers were disposed to sneer at the
curtailed hospitality of the provin-
cials, Notwithstanding my blood is
better by centuries than theirs, when
a Colonial Washington, in the uni
form of the Colonial troops and with
whose military prowess report has
been fattering, who had joined but
lightly in our drinking and merri-
ment, arose brightly from the board,
and taking down from its position on
the wall the great drinking horn, IL
lumined with the quartered arms and
crests of the Courts and bowling to the
company, said smilingly: Gentle
men, with me to the spring The
sun was rising as we left the house,
somewhat disordered with Our night
of revelry. When Colonel Washing
ton reached the spring he filled the
great horn cup to the brim and lifting
it on high, drank to the health of
Clean Drinking Manor The kind
ly action overwhelmed me, and the
name so graciously bestowed 1 have
retained"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17

The original estate was given by
grant in 1910 to Sir John Courts, an
English nobleman high in favor at
court, who came to America with his
wife and settled on the fertile Mary
land acres. The present manor-house
was erected in 1920, the bricks for its
construction having been brought
from Holland. The estate then con-
sisted of 10000 acres Of the finest
in Maryland indeed in the entire
colonies, and with his immense wealth
and his army of negro slaves the work
progressed until his death. The war
of the elements and the centuries of
neglect have failed to obliterate all
traces of the Italian terrace which led
up to the house, the extensive box
wood maze, with its innumerable
paths and deceptive windings, and
the immense lawns and gardens which
surrounded the mansion hundreds Of
yards on either side.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17

SOME WOMEN would like to recall
the past and others even want their
presents back.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17

HAwKs-"I have seen a Hindu
fakir raise a palm tree in ten min
utes."
Fal1on-"Well, I have seen just
got-rich American raise a family tree
quicker than that"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17

TIME WILL tell, but the woman
with secret doesn't give it chance.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-01-17

An effort will be made at this ses-
sion of Congress to have passed bill
providing for the purchase by the
Government of the remaining acres
of Clean Drinking Manor and its pres
ervation' to future generations as
show place, illustrative of the old
type of Colonial, feudal manors and
as spot whose history, next to that
of Mount Vernon, is probably more
than any other linked with American
independence and the life of George
Washington.
But few Of the residents of Wash
ington know of the historic estate,
although it lies only 10 miles from the
city limits, and fewer still have ever
heard of the annual New Years re-
ception that is of such an interesting
character. This may be partly due
to the fact that the old manor-house,
now falling into decay, is situated on
a side road which leads nowhere"
and on which there is consequently
little travel, and that the present
owner, while hospitable enough to his
circle of friends, is inclined to resent
the intrusion Of casual visitors and
those whose curiosity leads them to
swing the big brass dog's-head knock
er on his door.