The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-06-27
Professor with a Magical Transforms
tiOn Apparatus Made Blondes, Bru-
nettes, Anything Asked For.
WHAT CAUSED ALL THE TROUBLE
A DEMURE SPINSTER WANTED TO BE
CHANGED INTO A MAN.
The Machine Exploded, the Professor
Pleaded and There Were Alarms
and Excursions.

Bif! Bang! Bang And the 'old maids
convention came to a sudden and unex-
pected end with the blowing up of Profess
sor Pinkerton's famous electric transfor-
nation apparatus for changing spinsters of
uncertain age into sprightly young girls.
And it was all because one member wanted
to be made into man. The meeting was
held at the First Friends Church, and a
large audience was present to attend the
ANNUAL gathering of the Old Maids Club.
The entertainment was given by the "bach-
elOr girls" of the church.
The session called to order by the
president, Miss Maribah Lovejoy Deborah
Peele). with representatives from Posey and
other counties in the State. Armarilla Hey
wood (Nannie Lawrence) read the minutes
of the last meeting. and Priscilla Hope
(Alma jones' gave the report Of the treas
urer, prominent in the items of which
was a large expense for flowers for bach
elors and money for beauty powder. The
members of the convention were Misses
Elizabeth Lawrence, Anna Clark, Aurora
Lewis, Moffett Richards, Grace Thompson.
Lois Henley, Katherine Osborn Bedora
Phelps, Lucy Osborn, Eva Hutchinson.
Ethel Clark, Ethel Pendleton, Lydia Willis,
Miss Rogers, Miss Hadeley and Miss Stout.
1t was in truth an odd collection of fem
ininity who have arrived at the three-quar-
ter post and yet have secured running
mates. There were tall maids, short maids
comely maids, and, in fact, spinsters of all
kinds, with the common object of being on
the trail of man. A feature Of the even
ing was the arrival of one member Of the
convention with a poll parrot, who was
the only delegate that could make herself
heard above the din of discussion.
SHE SCORED THE MEN.
At roll call each member was called upon
for an original verse. All the responses
were appeals for men with one single ex-
ception. Miss Mary Ann Barnes (Nannie
Lawrence) when asked for a word, scored
the Opposite sex because they spent too
much money. She caused a stir in the
meeting and the other members hissed
their sister. Miss Barnes, a slight little
woman, made one of the hits of the even-
ing. During the first part of the evening
Mr.. Robert B. S. Lewis rendered a solo
in pleasing manner.
But it was not until the arrival of the
widely-heralded Professor Pinkerton (Wil-
liam p. SocwelD that the convention as
sumed lively air which dominated the
remainder of the session until the sad
ending mentioned above. A knock at the
door, hush and then the appearance of an
affable gentleman modestly attired in a
dress suit after the fashion of an inter-
locutor i'm minstrel show, bowling and
scrapng to the members of the conven-
ton, characterized the advent of the pro-
fessor. After reading a number of testi-
monials the invitation was extended TO
the forlorn members of the convention to
step up and become young by passing
through the wonderful machine.
Before .'going through" one of two elixirs
was given to make the patient TO appear as
a blonde or brunette. 1t required but few
minutes of explanation, mingled with fiat
tering prospects of sprightly young maid
ems, TO induce the first member to try the
experiment She hoped to become a blonde
with a voice to sing like a bird" Hardly
had the buZZing of the machine ceased when
out jumped a girl who rendered a solo Great
was the craning of necks and wagging of
and again second member appeared TO
be changed She also went through all
right but there was hitch in the pro-
ceedings when the next one wished to
be made brunette of the most pronounced
type.
PROFESSOR WAS STUMPED.
The professor doubled the dose of bru-
nette elixir and fancy the horror of the au-
dience upon the exit of a diminutve Afri-
can girl. The owner Of the machine how
ever was equal to the emergency and grab
bed the unoffending youngster and thrust
her back into the machine Giving another
turn to the crank he soon produced a