davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07
Fooled Again.

"So!" Kissed the villain.
The heroine faced him grandly. The
calcium light .sputtered delightedly
over the scene, causing her jewels to
glitter like the eye of a press agent.
"SO!" growled the villain.
Here the heroine kicked her train
around in front of her, and the hand
painted flowers on the back breadth
came into full view Bravely she
clutched the will in her lily-white fin
gers.
"So!" hoarsely muttered the villain.
With the air of queen, the heroine
turned upon him.
why do you say $50 so often?" she
asked. do you think you can COW
me?"
Realizing that he was baffled for the
last time in that act, the villain rolled
another cigarette, and left the stage
with tragic stride.-Judge.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07
The Lack,

Huh! Call this dramatic compa-
N.Y." snarled the unpaid "Uncle Toms
Cabin" actor, addressing the manager
OF the aggregation. |'Why, confound
you, you haven't got even"-he had
been fed on petrifled promises and
baked atmosphere till he ratified like a
sack of dried leaves as he shook with
anger-"a ghost of a show!"-Judge.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07
=. - y ~ = - & 5.El3 l1I7II. zriIT
It Came Home Ia ~ n, !;

- ET.1S VdIHS ETtUIne Io.t1Iln.E7 !ITE7IfI \
The jokesmith called upon the faith
er OF. the young lady and asked for the
damsel's hand Ia marriage. b t53 <ss3.. s..1
With: g wrathful shout the old gen
tleman kicked the jokesmith from the.
parlOr into the hall, out Of. the door.
and down the steps and across the
street, and as the young man led
thence, he called after him:
Now 81, you may realize that
many & truth Isl written sin & Jest. - 90.
Judge. :s .#$S
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07
War According to HoyIe.

First Colombian Revolutionist-At
any rate, so far we haven't been &C.
cused OF violating any of the rules Of
civilized warfare. $685.. TX
Second Colombian Revolutionist-
NO; we've stopped firing when rail-
way trains were passing, and haven't
fought at any time over eight hours a
working day.-Judge. 49, : ..-.. ):
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07
At the Zoo.

The Cokatoo-Hey, down there!
What the dickens are you laughing
about?
The Hyena- oughter seen the
stork when he heard that seventeen
pairs of twins had been born into the
crocodile family. BY gosh! he went
straight up in the air!-Judge.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

How Rival Lines View New Records.
When the Crosse Kaiser broke the
record some time ago, director of the
Hamburg-American line was asked
what he was going to do about it.
Build new ship" was the quiet re-
ply.
Apparently, the 100000 involved
was only detail. A new ship was
built.-the Deutschland.-Exch
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07
In His Defense.

Farmer Bentover-Aw, by gosh!
don't tell me. William Jennin's Bryan
amt no better than his party.
Farmer Stackrider-Wa-al, anyhow
he s more united.-Judge
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07
When 1t Was Over.

The Rev. DR.. Gustav Gotthell, in one
of his sermons, facetiously related the
story of minister, well known for his
lengthy discourses, who, in calling on
one of his parishioners, Scot with a
satirical tongue, asked him what pas
sage in the Sunday sermon he liked
best.
:"The passage from the pulpit to the
vestry room," was the answer.-New
York Times.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07
Establishing His Value.

"Was he a valuable man to the com.
munity?"
well, dunno. His wife's suit for
$4,000 damages because he was
lynched has not been decided
Judge.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07
Modesty and Success.

Modesty is one of the sweetest and
most desirable qualities one can pos
sess, and yet too much modesty' hind
ers advancement. When this quality
Is over-developed, it antagonizes az
gressiveness, without which no great
success can be Observation-Disclosures.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07
An Improvement,

II hear that Cactus Tim had his legs
cut off" said Alkali Ike.
YES" said Tarantulao Tom; rail-
road did it-nipped his feet off clean
and sure. He's stumpin' round on
wooden pins now"
How does he like it?"
illustrate. He says he can't get
snakes in his boots now."-Judge.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07
DiScourauinu the Idea.

0IScouragIng the idea.
What do you think" asked the rec
tor. "of the suggestion that we have
women to take up the collection?"
mot at this time of the year." an
'swers the wise old vestryman. "Now
that the fall millinery is coming in,
you couldn't induce woman to pass
the hat on any pretext. Judge.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07
Hats and Relation,

Penn had been long enough at court
to manage retort himself when he
cared to indulge in word-play To his
sovereign's question wherein their re-
ligions really differed, the Quaker re-
piled:
"The difference is the same as be-
tween my hat and thine; mine has no
ornaments."- New York Sun.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

It's a mistake to imagine that itching
piles can't be cured; a mistake to suffer q
day longer than you can help 4 Doan' 3 Oint-
cure. At any drug store, SO cents Il Il ' .... + n
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

Dyspepsia-bane of human existence.
Burdock Blood Bitters cures it, promptly,
permanently. Regulates and tones tho
stomach. y- .%5%i5@!i! I /,
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

a phrenologist would have a hard
time to determine the character Of the
ex-prize fighter by the bumps on his
head. y: Z. ~
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

THE TORTURE OF PILES
relieved promptly, and permanently cured
10y Coles Carbolisalve. Guarantee goes
with each box. Get the genuine. At drug
sgists, Csc and SOC.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

Wanted-Laborers, at SITS per day:
at Griffin Wheel Works, Phalen and
Saltwater Avenue st. Paul, MIMI;
steady work.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

" STOP THAT RACKING COUGH
and avoid danger Of consumption or pneu-
m m by promptly taking Coles Cough
tie guaranteed. Csc and soc at druggists.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

No matter how rheumatic an old man
may be, he always tries to brace up to
the matrimonial altar like two-year-
old.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

Ido not believe P1sos Cure for Consumption
has an equalizer coughs aid colds.-JoHN p
BOYER, Trinity Springs, Ind, Feb. IS. 1900
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

Ev1G permanently fits or nervousness ofteh
hrst days Of DR.. Kline's Great Nerve Restor.
er Send for FREE e2. 90 trial bottle and treatise.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup
For children teeth1ng, softens the gums reduces In.
dammatton, allays pain. wind coc Csc bottle
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

The masons of Valcenia, Spain, are
the first organization in that country
to successfully strike for an eight-hour
day.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

Woman's function is a guiding, not
. determining one. Ohm Ruskin. 3
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

Few people would be. satisfied il
they got oil that's coming to them. .5I 4
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

Stops the Cough and
Works Or the Cold
Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets Price CSC.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

PUTNAM FADELESS DYES color
more goods, per package, than others.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-02-07

s$s Life is too short to retort IN kind ia
every exasperating thrust.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-07-18
Honest London Policemen.

Josiah Flypt, whose studies of the
"under world" are so well known, has
been dGvoting attention to the police
system of London, England. The most
striking facts, from the American
point of view, that his observations re-
veal are: () That the force is COM
posed mainly of honest and con-
scirntious men; (2) that politics is not
allowed to play any part in the man
agement and direction of the organiza-
ton; (3) that London is one of the
sefsst cities in the world. AS to police
corruption in London, there is very
little to report. Mr.. Flynt found no
corruption whss,h could be compared
with the matchmaking system for
which the New York police have been
so long notorious. Gambling is pun
ished speedily,
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-07-18
THE WEDDING INVITATION.
How a Man Feels when He Geta one
and His Efforts MT Present
buying.

A wedding invitation Is practicable
an admission ticket, costing $40. TO the
church service; reception at the house
afterward, extra; cards to the at
home, more extra, says the Insurance
Press.
When man gets an invitation now
adays he feels as he does when he has
been served with subpoena. He sput-
ters about the idiocy Of marriage in
general, and wonders why in thunder,
or somewhere else where thunder is
unknown, those little fools didn't Just
stand up and get married and get il
over with. Then when he Gains down
he is inveigled into making an appoint
ment with his wife at some jewelers.,
There he Is met with bewildering ar.
ray Of silver trowels, meat saws. and
miniature pitchforks, which his
learned wife explains to him are fish
knives, lettuce servers, and berry
forks, respectively.
Then, as his eyes wander about the
store, he spies golden ball, perforated
with fancy holes, and he ventures the
facetious remark TO his wife that they
might take time by the forelock and
send that baby's rattle. Which is met
by the chilling rejoinder that "that' is
tea ball, and it is just the very thing.
And so the man hands over the neces
sary and his wife directs where the
golden tea ball shall be sent.
The feelings of strong, healthy
man being required to attach his card
to dinlxy tea ball and send it to a
young couple as mark Of his good
wishes fail either of expression or de-
scription.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-07-18

marked than that of railway construc.
ton.
During the last session Of the Chilean
congress. which closed in February. a
bill was passed providing for the con-
struction of a railway over the Andes
mountains, to connect Buenos Ayres
with Santiago and Valparaiso. This
will be the first line to cross the cont.
nent of South America.
This railway was projected 20 years
ago, and since that time some sort of
measure dealing with the question has
been before each session of congress;
but each in its turn failed to pass one
or the other branch of the law-making
body until on February 2s last, when
the aforementioned bill became law.
A railway extending from Buenos
Ayres TO The Cum bre Of the Cordillera
at Uspallata Pass, 10 connect with the
line from Valparaiso, is being con
sstructed by the Argentine government.
Work on the new road is being pushed
forward on both sides of the noun
tafns. and prospects are bright for di
rect railway connections within few
years, between the Atlantic and Pacific
coasts. over the Andes, by line exend-
ing through the heart of Chile and Ar
gentina. This road will shorten the
time between Europe and Chile by 81,
or eight DAYS. as traffic is now via TIL,
Straits of Magellan.
The railway from Bueuos Ayres is
completed as far MS Puente del Inca.
short distance from the Cumbre. and
the line in course of construction in
Chile is completed as far as Salto DEF
Saldado, also near the pass over the
Andes, and during the summer months
November to April--traffic is carried
on over the mountains, along the route
of the proposed railway. by mule cara
vans. 1t requires only one day to make
the trip between the railway terminals.
The pass is crossed at an ele'ati Of
$4,000 feet above sea level: butthc route
ms surveyed for the railway provides
Tor tunnel through the mountains,
which will reduce the altitude of the
highest point reached by the railroad
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-07-18

Eor First Time I'm Oar History They
Form More Than Half of Inn
ports of This Country.

Manufacturers materials formed
more than half Of the imports into the
United States in the month Of Febru-
airy. This is the first time in the his
tory Of our importations that manu-
facturers' materials have constituted
more than half of the total imports.
in 1882 manufacturers materials
formed 80 per cent. Of the total inn
ports; in 1892, 34.2 per cent; in 1902,
46.l per cent; in the eight months end
ing with February, 1903, 46.98 per cent,
and in February, 1903, 51.3 per cent,
Of the total imports into the United
States. Meantime importations as q
whole have greatly increased and seem
likely in the fiscal year which ends
three months hence, to reach, for the
first time, the billion-dollar line. Yet
the growth in manufacturers materi-
ais has been even more rapid than the
genera growth Of imports, as is indi-
Gated BY the above figures, which show
that the percentage which manufac-
trrers' materials form Of this increased
total has grown from 1919 per cent. in
1882 to 51.3 per cent. in February, 1903.
These facts are disclosed by the adj
vance sheets from the Monthly Sum-
mary Of Commerce and Finance. lust
Issued by the treasury bureau Of sta
tistics. 1t further shows, regarding
this increase of manufacturers materi-
ais, that the total value of manufac-
turers' materials imported in the eight
months ending with February, 1903,
exceeded by $50 900 900 that of the cor
responding period Of the preceding
year. In the month of February alone.
the Importation of manufacturers ma
terials was S42, 100000, against $32. oo0,-
DOC in February of last year, an increase
OF nearly one-third. For the last fiscal
year, ending with June 30, 1902, the
importations Of manufacturers ma
terials for the first time passed the
$4oo,OOO,000 line, having grown from
S243,0O0,000 in 1882 to $27s.O0 900 in
1892, and $415,ooo,0o0 in 1902. The fig
ures for the eight months of the fiscal
year Justify the assertion that for the
IL months ending June 80, 1908, the to.
tai value of manufacturers materials
imported will exceed $3.50, 600, 900 and
VIII far surpass that of any preceding
year in the history of our import
trade.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-07-18
CROSSING THE ANDES
A New Trans-Continental Railway
in South America.
1t Marks a New step in the Industrial
Progress of Chill and Argen-
tine HepubIic--A Part of
Ii is Completed.
venezueIa and chiIe and Argantine

Venezuela and Chile and Argentine
represent distinct types Of the South
American nations. Venezuela Is the
unprogressive; Chile and Argentine
the progressive. Mr.. James Barnes
calls Venezuela the Land of Stand
STILL and the appelation is a good one.
Such a name, however, would not APP
ply to the other two republics. Though
it may be doubted IL either have shown
of the new world, yet both are now
pushing toward a development Of re-
sources that will give them prominent
places in the gallery Of nations. and
in no line is this development more
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-07-18
FORGOT HIS WEDDING DAY.
Busy New Yorker Overlooks an I'm.
portant Engagement and Makes
a Hurried Trip.

I'VE hear good deal about the busy
men of New York." said one of them,
according TO the Sun, but l have
friend in Wall street who has broken
the record
81 was in his apartment few nights
ago after the theater, and he was chat
ting with me about the deals Of the
day, and as he chatted he was running
over a bundle of memoranda. All at
oncs he stopped as if he had been shot.
"'Great Scott!" he exclaimed, I'm
to be married tomorrow to woman
in Chicago, and / had forgotten the
date completely. Say, old man, come
with me and help me to pack up. OF
course, l can't make it now to save
my life, even if hired a special eng !.
and car, for the wedding is set for co
morrow morning at ten oclock!'
"While he began pitching his things
into his trunk / wrote out a message
to his sweetheart and hurried it to
the telegraph office. My friend left
on the first train out and after his ar
rival in Chicago he wired back:
Its all right. She has the measles"
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-07-18

If eolored shoes are not generally
worn, they are popular in the army, as
evidenced by recent contracts given
out for the manufacturing of shoes for
the members of the United States
army, says the Shoe and Leather Re-
porter. One contract was for $1,000
pairs of shoes, all colored, there being
not a single pair Of blacks in the or
der. In another order was included ss4
pairs of colored shoes. This gives the
impression that for army wear colored
shoes are preferred. They look better
for a longer period Of time with reason
able care than black goods, in the opin-
ion of the army officials. For hot
weather colored shoes are viewed by
sensible people as a most common.
sense proposition.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-07-18
MRS. ANNA auMpREcHr.

her trim, energetic figure, busting
about the platform.
Her position as a station agent is
unique, and interest in her work be-
comes personal when it is known that
she is only 20 years old, and a widow,
who is working to support toddling
baby of two.
In the year that she has been agent
Mrs. Gumprecht has inaugurated a
new regime, and the villagers who for
merly found the station a convenient
loafing place, have been forced to seek
a haven elsewhere. Men inclined to
hang around are peremptorily ordered
Off, and it has come to be pretty gen.
orally understood in the community
that the agent is to be obeyed. She
keeps a watchful eye out, too. for
children, and never allows them to play
about the station or the tracks. Her
own baby is kept safely at her home,
a mile distant.
Unlike many widows, Mrs. Gum
precht did not get her position by be-
coming the successor of her hus band
in the place, but was led to apply for
1t through the belief that she was COM
petent, and the knowledge that the
male agent, disgruntled, was about to
depart. She is paid $50 a month for
her services.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-07-18
A NEW FEMININE MADNESS.
THE Powder Chamo OILS In Much In Evil
dence Nowadays In Public
Places,

In order to make the most of their
time it has come about that many Of
the women one meets in the restaur-
ants and hotels, at the theaters. and
in the shops, do lot of primping in
public, says the Chicago Inter Ocean.
Powder rags, eyebrow pencils, rouge
brushes, are Haunted openly, and wo-
man does not hesitate to put some fin
ishing touches to her toilet, wherever
she happens to be. These finishing
touches, by the way, seem 30 be needed
every hour or so.
81 have travelled a good DEAL" re-
marked a middle-aged woman the
other day, ''and / am sure that in no
other part of the world do women keep
face powder in such constant commits.
sion. And yet the American weman
doesn't begin to make up so much as
many women of other countries.
1.-THE latter, however, when they do
make up their faces for the day, sci.
dom add another touch until evening
anyway, whereas the American gets
out her powder and daubs it on per.
haps a dozen times day. Her powder
rag and she are inseparable.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-07-18
TRY SECOND MARRIAtiE.
Widowers More Likely Than widows
to Get Enough of Single
Blessedness.

Statistics gathered by the New
York board of health show that
widowers of all races, colors, and
creeds take less kindly to a second
dose of single blessedness than do
widows. OF the total number of per-
sons seeking the marital state in the
standard year the bereaved ones Of
both sexes made up one-tenth of the
list and the widowers outdid the
widows to the number of $50. Since
the reports of the board deal solely
with indisputable facts and leave de-
batable theories to the speculative
mind the inquirer has to look else
where for an explanation of the dis
parity in figures. He finds it in vari-
Gus sources, but the authorities con-
suited disagree. However, the pre-
ponderance of testimony indicates
that woman, by the sweetness of her
disposition, contributes more ma
terially to a mans happiness than he
does to hers, and that, having lost
one spouse, he Is never satisfied until
he finds somebody else like her.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-07-18

fashioned anchor, over which they
have been pronounced by the United
States government to be a great i'm
provement. Heretofore there was a
great deal of gearing attached to the
use Of the ordinary ships anchor, and
a great deal of time was consumed by
the ships crew in weighing and max
ing anchor. The tremendous stock
of the anchor was always in the way,
being a clumsy thing to handle.
One great advantage of the newer
anchor is that il is without a stock
making it less formidable to the sailor.
and taking up less room on deck. But
that is not its chief virtue, by any
means.
The old-fashioned anchor will not al
ways stay put after being dropped
overheard. The stockless anchor, aft
or reaching landing place, plows it.
self into the floor of the ocean with q
grip that will never let GO while there
is a bottom to clutch.
The stockless anchor is an Amer
loan production. Heretofore, almost
all anchors of large size have beer
made abroad.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-07-18

"There are in the state of Oregon
Two lakes that are frozen stiff from
one years end 10 another" said +. G.
Harper, of Portland. "They were dis
covered in Baker county not very long
ago by party on a hunting and fish
ing trip in the mountains of the Pan
handle district. After passing through
particularly wild stretch of country
the party discovered the lakes on the
North summit of one of the mountains
in the neighborhood. The lakes are
both small, one of them barely $50 feet
across, while the other is less than
1000 feet in diameter. Both are COW
cred with a heavy coating of ice, as
clear as crystal and as smooth as glass,
and of such strength that it held sew
eral members of the party who rode
across on horseback. 1t is believed the
ice never melts, because the lakes are
SO situated behind two peaks that the
rays of the sun never strike them for
sufficient length of time to make any
impression.