The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-11-07
T. ARTHUR MONTGOMERY'S
 RUSE.
BY HowARD DEVINE.

And the worst of 1t Is that am but fires married and the honeymoon Is scarcely over Nevertheless my bride rules me with an fro hand and I, who have bragged always an ever at. the club over the wine cup that would be master in my own house. have no half the independenc self-respect of tn veriest servant.
 And the most rueful thing about it all | that I, myself. T. Arthur Montgomery, brough 1t all upon myself. In extenuation I will say that I was yer, much In love with the girl and she had trife, with me most seriously. She knew of my de votion and repaid 1t partly by laughing at m and partly by telling me of her admiration fo men cast in the heroic nouid-men of physica powers who could and would do and dare. al Tor their lady loves. Now. while will not ad init that I am deficient in the essential at titudes of heroism. am not very long phys ical prowess. How can a man who puts hi. days fin at hot, stmfy office badgering hi. head about rates and discounts and ali that sort of thing and his nights at dinners and theatres and card games at the club. be ex' pected to have a Sahdow development.
 Finally. goaded by her praise of men she saw or read of who were models of physical powers and courage, I took up the matter seriously with myself and finally figured out a campaign
 It was habit of ours to go frequently to a popular Summer garden of a hot Summer evening and enjoy the music while slipping cooling drinks. One hot afternoon while sitting in the office curslng the fate that kept me there instead of being out in the country. a picture of this Summer garden flashed before my mental vision.
 By jove," thought, T will get Mamie and enjoy the evening there"
 Then thought ruefully of the tortures she had inflicted the evening previous when had taken her for a ride on the avenue and she had spent the time laudng com- mon fellow who had stopped a runaway team and saved some ladies from possible harm. So persistent and harassing had she been that l had lost my temper and the ride had ended in quarrel. Clearly could not ask her to go to the Summer garden so soon. She would laugh at me and use the advantage to goad me still further This felt would not be able to endure. No. I must maintain my dignity. Indeed. must go still further and manage to show her that was a hero or all would be lost. Despite her cruelty and injustice. I was desperately in love with her-and yet. Such Is fate. Clearly I must do something heroic and that quite suddenly.
 The Intensity of my thoughts deepened the precipitation on my brow and involuntarily my thoughts wandered to the Summer garden with it's breezes and cooling drinks and stirring music.
 Then 1t was that old Beelzebub entered into the game and destroyed me. convinced that it was an inspiration direct from hottest Hades that sent the next thought through my mind. But did not think at the time. No. indeed, l leaped to my feet in insane joy. l laugher idiotically. danced about my pri- vate office. I hailed the evil thought as an inspiration of genius.
 It other than this: I would hie myself to the Summer garden and pick out the huskiest waiter. whom I would bribe to be my accomplice. Then would escort my lady love to the place and the husky waiter would insult her. Then would rise and smite him hip and thigh He would make pretended resistance of desperate character. but would refrain from iDjuring me and would finally fall to the floor vanquished, and I, ruffled but triumphant and dignified. would escort Mamie from the place. duly ensconsed in her heart and mind as a most gallant knight.
 With fatuous haste and glee I threw on my hat and speeding toward the Sum- mer garden. Alas. there ali went well. found a big waiter who looked like a prize fighter. and agreed to pay him literally if he would enter the conspiracy. He gladly agreed for a consideration of $Io down and $26 more after the job was done. together with my promise to that he got a new place in 8 downtown restaurant or club if he lost his po- sition there.
 On the following evening the affair came oG that is part of 1t. I sent note of invita- tion to Mamie, which was accepted, and early in the evening I went for her. attired with great care in a rakish sort of outfit much af. fected by athletes
 All went well-or, as viewed in the per spective, i'll. My fellow conspirator was iu readiness and showed to a table in a quiet corner. Drinks were ordered-light non-intoxi' cants, could not be accused afterwards oi being unduly excited from artificial causes.
 Presently the waiter came and stood facing Mamie at a short distance When she glanced his way he winked broadly. She flushed to the temples, then turned deathly pale as he threw kiss at her.
 What is the matter?'' exclaimed.
 "Oh look at that awful waiter.' she replied fin frightened voice.
 glanced at the waiter just in time to no tice him ogling violently. I chucked at the success of my plans.
 Here. fellow. what do you mean?" de- handed loudly rising.
 He came forward with such a prize-fghtel swagger and so wicked an expression on hi' face that was bit frightened myself. while Mamie screamed:
 "Oh, Arthur. be careful; he will hurt your
 This inspired my very best efforts. Apologize to this lady instantly" I com manded, imperiously.
 Not me-" he responded. with a leer tha really did make me angry. 'T know that sort too we'll to apologize"
 Then struck him, and in an instant we hat closed in a grapple was badly frightened for a moment. He weighed some 40 pound more than l. and had arm like mill-post But the moment we grappled saw that ne wal on the square. His blows were feints ant served only to disarrange my clothing. but no to scratch my precious hide. In the meantime Mamie was screaming and shouting murder and walters ushers. policemen and people wer' rushing toward us.
 Now" I whispered; ''are you ready?" Let Ter go." he grunted back. swung off with a fine right-hander ant caught him full in the face and he fell with howl of pain.
 "Insult a lady, will you?' shouted. loudly | as they closed about me, while two policemen fell on my assailant. There a buzz of excitement ana muci wonder at my feat.
 Why. alive. Ted Murphy IS the wors bruiser in the Sixth Ward" exclaimed an ex | cited usher. 'He nearly killed man in thu prize ring. Are you hurt?
 No" I replied indifferently 'only scratci l or two" and I turned to Mamie. who was re
 garding me with proud and happy eyes;
 "No. won't prosecute him. l said' hshtly as we left. 'I guess he has been punished | enough" ,,,-
 That night was the proudest in my life | Mamie's adulation was balm indeed to ml | pride. She clung to mo in adoradon ana | ventured to put the question had so lon' | hesitated over and the reply sent me ihto tn' l seventh heaven of bliss. .
 The next day when Murphy called for hi ! little balance he had a black eye ana was ois | tinctly surly.
 | T didn't give ye no license to poke me 1T | the eye the way ye dld." he growled' 'Bet ter make that S25 even hundred | Upon my refusal he ieered at me slgn'n | cantIy. Better" he said. or II teh the iad1 | all about the deal oh. know where she lives
 just thought Ia foller ye last night so
 know An I'll take poke at ye ue next um | we're out wid her. the side. | counted out the hundred with slnKini
 heart didn't care about the money-the en'
 was worth it, But had foreoodihgs aoou
 being in the fellows power | My forebodings were not In Vain' me wa l Murphy worked me during the interval prio i ,o my roarrIara was something fierce Whe