The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-07-25
LARGEST JAG AT 6 P. MI
Eighth of beer, given by John e
kunze

| LARGEST JAG AT P. MI
Eighth of beer, given by john
| kunze.
| There is every indication on the pro-
gram that several kegs of nails will be
tapped. AS we have not touched any
thing as radical as beer since 1903 we do
not intend to get within speaking distance
| OF Mr. Maetzods riotous grove on Sun
day, July rs. For we are inclined to hold
| with Carrie Nation that
Beer is monster hideous mien
mat to be tasted needs but to be seen;
But seen too oft we're very neatly led.
10 paint the blooming town gorgeous red.
| q. b. Moses writes this column to COM
plain OF fate He says that he has never
done nothin'," and yet. Well it was
something like this Mr.. Moses wife had
a rich, rare and racy aunt who had never
visited them but who had written to saw
| that she was coming. Naturally they were
anxious to make the best impression pos
slble on auntie. AS G.. B. said, to- put
| the best foot foremost. When G. B! went
nome from the office that night he heard
strange voice in the house and knew
that Aunt Sarah had arrived, = !
AS he stepped into the front room Mrs.
Moses and auntie advanced from the
dining-room. G. B. started to put that
| best foot forward to meet them with a
smile of gladstone welcome on his face
when he stepped down the register OPEN
ing with. that left hind limb It seems,
that the careless servant had TAX en- out
the register to dust it and had neglected
to replace it.
Aunt Sarah is a lady of the old school
and is polite to the point Of punctilious-
ness, but if you have never stepped down
into hole with one limb when you conf
| IDENTITY expected to find solid ground under
your feet, you can not know under what
extreme disadvantage G. B. Moses showed
l.; r,-;f
| relative. G. B. said he thought the whole
foor had caved in and the way he roared
around and CRASHED his teeth and tried
to get his balance before he shifted his
ballast entirely and parked his shin, Mrs.
Moses said was a sight that would have
made the Roman senate at the time of the
Cicero-Cataline debate down on the
senate floor and roll over in their togas
with smothered laughter.
Explanations were easily made Of
course. Aunt Sarah soon recovered her
polse and MIR. Moses went out to speak
gently to the girl about her carelessness
In going thru the buffers closet which.
| was not we'll lighted he stepped on the
edge of the. missing register which. the
girl mad laid there to take in at her leisure
and the thing turned on him like cross
dodekahedron and threw him. He was try
ing to recover himself when the swinging
door got in its work. That was the end
the complete and final limit. Mr. Moses
remarks penetrated the remotest recesses
of the home and led Aunt Sarah to re-
mark in an agitated way, 80, do you sup
pose he has been drinl1ing?'
| 1t did seem like kind of fatality Mr..
Moses feels gloomily certain that the Re-
formed Missionary association is bound to
get the bulk of Aunt Sarah's money and
perhaps rightly.
Saturday night was the time that grand
ma always came out strong with US chill
dren. She did not exactly keep the even
ing as sacredly as she did the Sabbath, but
she held it in reverence as q sort of vesti-
bule to that holy day. After the sun went
down grandma became somewhat subduet
and usually did a little "improvin' - read.
ing to put herself in training for the NOR
row. She often quoted to US the stanza.
| How pleasant is Saturday night
| When I've tried all the week to be good.
| Not spoken word that was bad
| And obliged every one that 1 could.
> Tomorrow the holy day comes
2 Which our bountiful Father has given,
2 That we may all rest from our work
And prepare for the glories of heaven.
1 rebelled strongly against these lines.
There was not enough doing in the New
England Sabbath to suit a boy OF unquiet
tastes, and Saturday night was a reminder
that it was almost there. 1 used to get
out the old shot gun and look it all over
carefully, take it apart and put it together
again. l used to tumble the baseball for
! an hour at time, trying to invent pat
+ emit ways of pitching and of catching. But
= we're getting away from grandma
, Another stanza which grandma repeated
. with great JUNCTION and which was much
more popular with the children because OF
the element: of sadness in it was:
AS on some lonely mountain top
The sparrow makes her moan.
Far from the tents of joy and hope
l sit and pine alone. -,
Just what the trouble was. 7 never
E knew, for grandma's memory did not car
~ the rest of the poem. recall that The
d tents of joy and hope always presented
} a very agreeable picture. There was also
: a cheerful old ditty that grandma used To
, Of which can recall every doleful notes
/. A few more days, few more years,
: ., 1t won't be long, not very long;
A little gathering of the loved E,
;. Shall hush my song, my earthly song,
When my soul passes thru
The dark valley. 70,
Y Dear old grandma. In spite of her DOLE
e full songs and verses, she was as cfiDDer
y and joyous and loveable an old lady as
e ever knit a stocking. I never could see
e that she went thru any dark valley She
f lived to be 81 years old and instead of
n valley it was hilltop and the sunlight was
e very clear on it. They said she died I
e know we all cried, but don't just know
:, why. If what they tell us is true it ought
e to have been one of the most glorious oc-
e casions of that long, happy, patient, self
n sacrificing sunny unselftsh life.
: Zeb's daughters marriage and of the bal by
g she presented to her Jack, and of whom
y Fred Bruhn said: ''Py Shiminy! dot vas
n fine shildren, Mrs Jack The stories
e told by Uncle Zeb crowd the pages and
: they are all good. Zebs philosophy seems
d to be summed up in the twenty fourth
: chapter, wherein he reveals his views on