davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Educated Russian,

Every educated Russian knows threa
languages besides his own. and many
OF them four. knowledge Of the Eng.
llsh, French and German languages is
considered necessary to culture, A
family having small children employ
two to four governesses. from whom
the children learn foreign tongues be-
fore they are taught the more difficult
Russian. This command Of languages
makes possible the fact that Russians
have q better knowledge of the worlds
affairs than any other reaple.-Educa,
tional Journal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Mammoth Berlin n.h~

The Berlin newspapers tell Of won
oerful baby giant which was recently
brought BY his parents before the
medical faculty Of that city for exami-
nation. He Is the son Of q baker at
DrleVers, and, although only is months
OLD. stands three and q half feet high.
he measures SO inches round the chest
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
That's Not Contaxion.

That's Not ContaEious.
Mrs. Proudman-Our Willie got
"meritorious commentator" at school
last week.
Mrs. O'Bull-Well. well! Amt 1t aw-
ful the number Of strange diseases
that's ketched by school children
Stray Stories.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Most satisfactory Re.pIt..

Kingley-You've been to these liter
airy clubs and metaphysical things for
two or three years now. and what does
your culture amount to?
Mrs. Kfngley-Don't I know every
body?-Town and Country.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
No Distraction.

NO Distractions.
Sadie Jones seems to be always
ahead of you in your GLASS;" remarked
the mother.
"Oh. yes" replied the daughter care
lessly. "She's SO homely there isn't
anything for her to do except study
Chicago Post.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
HandicaD.

eyes," said the man. II find a def.
cient education to be a great handicap
in my business. Half my time, at least.
is taking up with serving on murder
iuries. Puck.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
According to Doyle.

Il was disappointed in the last story
OF yours" observed Naggus. "You
killed of the strongest and most inter-
esting character in it."
DO you really think he was the best
character In the story?" asked E. Will
Borus. the struggling author.
Beyond all comparison"
well, then didn't kill him. only
caused the william to throw aim over
a high precipice. In my next story III
explain how he escaped, and use him
again. "-Chicago Tribune.
Quite Sufficient.
Mrs. Weder1y-Oh, John, I've mislaid
our marriage certificate and can't find
it!
Wederly-Oh. don't let that worry
you. I've got document down at the
Office that furnishes ample proof of our
union.
Mrs. Wederly-What is it, dear?
Wederly-A receipted bill from your
qressmaker.-Chicago Daily News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Precious Girls.

PRECIOUS GIFTS.
Beryl-Yes, know the count Is very
sincere in his attentions to me. How can
you say he is a trider?
Sibyl-I know that he loves you. dear
and that is why he pays undue atten-
ton to trifes.-Baltimore Herald.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
The Reaa0n.

Mrs. Flint (severely)-Why do Won
wander from place to place?
Spoiled Spooner (calmly)-B'cuz dc
places won't wander to me. .aum.-.
Puck.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Information.

Information.
Bobby-Papa, what are the natural
elements?
Papa-Fire, water and air, my son.
And what's the political elements?"
Firewater and gas, my son.'-Chi-
cago American.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
What She Left.

Jack-1 have just received telegram
saying that rich aunt, my only rela-
tive. has died, and left me
His Fiancee (eagerly)-Yes, and left
you
Jack-All alone in the world.-Kan-
sas City journal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Az . Substitute.

Customer lin bookstore) Have you
book called The Fifteen Decisive Bat
tles?"
Proprietor-No; but have some
thing similar. entitled, '"The Autobiog-
raphy of Married ."-Cincfnnat
ENQUIRER
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
The Sequel.

Blinks-That friend you introduced
me to yesterday seems to be q melan-
choly sort of chap. What's the matter
with him?
Jenks-Disappointment in love, be-
lieve.
Blinks-Another case Of loved and
lost" eh?
Jenks-Oh, no. He loved and won.
Cincinnati ENQUIRER.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Mflitarx Exerci.e..

MlI1t0Ty EXSFC16e6s
N. Y. Guard suppose when you
were in the army you often saw picket
fence?
G. A. R. Mann-Yes, but 1t was more
common sight to see sentry box.-N.
Y, Times.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22

Teacher-Now, Fred, II / gave Willie
three cakes and to you one-third as
many, how many would you have!
Fred-I'd have the hull bizness, cos
kin lick Willie wild one ham,. Y.
Times.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Unusually Clean.

S. s. Teacher-Why. Jimmie. how pale
you are.
Jimmie amt pale. Some blame
agent left sample cake of soap at our
house dis morning.-Chicago Ameri-
can.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
More Statistics.

Said slender maid. with sigh:
I'm as thin as a capital I:
OF course it's too bad,
But then can pad,
And thus prove that figures will Me."
Chicago Daily News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
improvements.

Have you made any improvements
in your invention?"
Il have" answered the enterprising
scientist. Zone of my assistants has
Just discovered new way to put stock
on the market Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Kept His word

She-You promised to stop smoking
when we were married.
He-Well, they won't allow you to
smoke in church.-Brooklyn Life.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Money Converter.

Money COnveR0e0.
Now. witness" said the opposing at
torney, ARE you willing to swear that
the defendant was under the influence
of liquor at the timer"
mo. sir; I never swear" replied the
witness. But I'm willing to bet you
so to IS that he was."-Cincinnat En-
Quirer.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Mind Not Made un.

Mind Not Made Up.
Visitor-Have you any plans made az
to what you will do after you leave here?
Prisoner haven't decided whether
I shall reform and join the church or
keep on in my evil ways and go to con-
gress.-Town Topics.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
RetOFt COurteous.

Biggs-My, but you have large ears!
Diggs-Yes. All I lack is your brains
to be perfect Chicago Daily
News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
The Union Foreve

THO Ou1UA FUfevGte
Lady-But you promised to cut some
wood.
Weary-Ma'am. told you wus
union man, an jest noticed dat dat az
wus made by factory wot employs
nonunion labor-Chicago American.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Lines ON q Tree.

Tn glad I'm not that poor old tree:
It's standing all the time-just see.
And when it rests, 1t has to bunk
Upon a hard old wooden trunk.
Yale Record
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
Woman,

All summer she is cultivating tan
At tennis games and golf:
All winter long she buys all sorts Of
things
To try to get It OF.
Judge
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
CAUGHT Mt 1t.

He hoped to win with "aces up,"
But he could not deceive
The dealer who had seen him put
Those aces up-his sleeve.
philadelphia Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22

Ethel-Why do you treat Mr.. Butte as
you do? He is a rough diamond, and, in
a little time, will come around all right.
Maud-That's just the reason am
continually cutting him.-Milwaukee
Sentinel.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22

Neglected Faculties.
Oh, Natures mighty wasteful.
Along de road you fms
A lot O. trees an grass, instead
O. watermelon vines.
Washington Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
The Last Not Enoueh

The Last Not EnOuGh.
TO say 1.-THE last words bring content
To woman Is misleading,
Sha must have IS per cent
OF all the words preceding.
-Phiadelphia Press
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22
4 (s55]3&gI5s,m = i ESS;#@
OsteAtatio1.

You say that mans relations won't
speak to him?" said the surveyor, who
had stopped at the log cabin.
Yes. An it serves him right. Jes
as soon as he come into little property
he bought hisself glass eye an a SET
O. false teeth, an his kin reckoned it was
mighty ill-mannered to come around
putin on style an wearin' all that Jew.
elry."-Washington Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-08-22

1.-TWO A. M
Backward. turn backward,
o. Time in thy flight,
So WHEY will think
It's eleven last night.
IN. Y. Herald.
Arizona republican., 1903-10-02
The Servian Stencil.

King Peter and Servia have only made themselves more contemptible in the eyes of the world by the farcical punishment meted out to the assassins of King Alexander. The leaders in the conspiracy and butchery have been sentenced to two years Imprisonment and a few of the less notable have been fined two months pay. This ridicu- olus performance is to be followed shortly by pardons from Peter to all of the officers convicted, and then Servi;t will consider that her "honor" has been redeemed.
 Peter is a very sorry character, but in some quarters there might have been an inclination. to credit him with boldness, at least, if he had from the first frankly avowed his real purpose to protect the assassins from punish ment. He has merely succeeded in again attracting the attention of civili- zation to the disgrace which will at tach 10 him and his people for all time.
Arizona republican., 1903-10-02
7f radium in carload lots, worth $5OO,-

Of radium fn carload lots, worth $500, eco an ounce.
 6. All the investor cares about is the certainty that the mines will com mence paying dividends next week, and that the shares which he buys at 10 cents in October will he worth $1 in January. It is proper that he should not be annoyed with information as 10 the capitaliZat ton of the company, the number of shares already issued. what the company has received for them, the amount of development in the mines, the extent and value of ore bodies. nature of the orc cost of min ing and treating the ore, and little things like that.
 But the advertisement speaks for it. self. and while it cannot he the good fortune of every mine ownar to have such a bonanza. everybody cal see at q glance why it is that the average man fails to enlist the eager interest Jt investors. People are not going into si,eculati jn5 when they can set into investments" on the ground hCOr, such as this.
Arizona republican., 1903-10-02
Horses and Contrivances.

It is worthy of note that experienced
 horsemen refuse to become excited by
 the phenomenal records made by the
 champion paoers and trotters recently They realize that to a great extent
 these records are due to mechanical
 contrivances, and that it is impossible
 to say how much credit belongs to the
 horse and how much to the ingenuity
 of man in creating artificial conditions l for the race.
 MT. NJ. W. Savage, the owner of Dan
 Patch, in discussing this subject the
 other day, said of Prince Alcrt's per formarce in going a mile in 1:57 behind
 wind shield:
 ''I hardly think the time will stand
 as public record. A halt must be called to ali these mechanical aids in
 breaking records; the line must be drawn some place, or there will be no ! end oi ingenious contrivances that will be invented to aid some worthless beats to gain honors to which they are not entitled.
 l. Such performances, while great in their class, are worthless as guides to breeders or as tests of equine speed, and. if they are permitted to stand as records, legitimate breeders and true sportsmen will. I am afraid quit the game in disgust.
 "The performance Of Prince Alert must be cIassed with the bicycle rec ords made behind express trains. and which. as you know. have not been al lowed by the L. A. w., only as freak exhibitions"
 Do you think Dan Patch could equal
 Prince Alert's time with the wind break?" he was asked. 'I certainly do, any time he is turn cd round under the same circumstan- ces. Why. if I was a betting man. as am not I would wager $iCOOO that the hobbled pacer could not pace . mile in two minutes under the same
 conditions that Dan took his record"
 And on the same topic the New York World fairly expresses the popular view when it says:
 What if Prince Alert did chase high white moon of battcncd canvas one mile in 1:57?
 "There are too many of these freak records They prove nothing. When Lou Dillon beat Maud S.'s record" to high sulky she really did nothing of
 the sort, though doubtless she could have done so. because the conditions were not duplicated. Maud g. had no wind shield.
 Why not have records" made by harness horses mounted on treadmills
 geared to automobiles? Why not do one-mile ''clips" down steep hills? If
 time-beaters may have canvas moons to scoop the air pressure from before them. why would not blast engines blowing them along from behind be equally legitimata?"
Arizona republican., 1903-10-02
PRESCOTT BUSINESS FIRMS. Hotel Bu Ike
AMERICAN PLAN.

PRESCOTT, ARIZONA l05 rooms. All modern convenienceE. strictly f1rst-class and modern hotel. Sample rooms for comercial men.
Arizona republican., 1903-10-02

too profound for the common under extraordinary efforts to please the Americans" said Pedagogue Small, and if we want those efforts to con tinue we have not minute to waste till We have navy a little stronger than theirs. At any moment Germany may be pressing us to define our policy on one or the other of the various questions about which we are not sure in our own minds."
 All of which is logical in the eX- treme. To anybody less learned than . Chicago professor il would seem that when the Germans are making extra cans we might sleep peacefully O nights in the pleasant belief that if we do our share and try to please the Germans there will never be any caus.' for quarrel As a matter of fact there is not the remotest ground for a war between Germany and the United States. notwithstanding the constant ly reiterated assertion of the danger by our anticipated statesmen and profes- sors and talkative army and navy off cers. If trouble does come at any time hereafter it will be just because of the silly talk of men like this fellow Small. A college professor is more of an inn portant parsonage in Germany than in this country, and it is to be expected that the Small interview will be tele- graphed to the German newspapers if it has not reached them already. Then the jingo element in Germany will offer the interview as another proof Of American hostility, and there will be fresh demands for q larger German navy Indeed, it only requires that each country shall. in response to it's jingoes, attempt to build "a navy a little stronger" than the other in order to have America and Germany wildly employed in constructing huge navies for which there exists no call but the demands of the unbalanced trouble e-makers.
 We have no better friend in the world today than William of Germany not even excepting that other life long friend, Edward of Great Britain and the German people will be cur friends if We give them d chance. The ties of blood between this country and Germany are scarcely less numerous or less strong than the ties between us and England, Scotland and Ireland.
Arizona republican., 1903-10-02
Talk Of Another Fool Professor

Why is It that when q Chicago pro- lessor turns his mouth loose it is ai- most invariably to utter something silly? Professor Albion w. Small of turned from Germany, and he could hardly wait to have the dust brushed off him before launching into q pre- diction of war between Germany and the United States. And as a. matter of course. the reasons for his belief are
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-03-14
MAINE FRATERNlTlES.

A camp of Sons of Veterans has re-
cnntlv heen organized at Kittery
An effort is being made to secure a
charter for a chapter of Royal Arch
Masons at kittery.
A lodge of the Eastern Star was or
ganized recently in Dantorth with 1t
charter members.
A district meeting of the odd rel-
low encampments of Skowhegan' Nd-
terville, Pittsfeld and Newport VIII DC
held at the latter place, March 80.
Old Hickory lodge, |. .. Q. f., new
port, has accepted the invitation 10 ~
TO Pittsfield, March Is, ana WORK 'iie
third degree as guests of Phlentoma
lodge of that place.
Houlton lodge, &. +. y. Oh Ems Nv
S35. was organized, Tuesday DiS'iic'
Dcp,rty f. S. Brooks of Auburn. as
sisted by Past District Deputy MARI
d. Stewart of Bangor, instituted NV
lodge. The following were eiec'rp
officers of the local lodge: Don A. II
Powers. exalted ruler; j. A. Browne
esteemed leading knight; X. w. ona"
esteemed loyal knight; X. l.. lufies
esteemed lecturing knight; George l
Holyoke. secretary; F. Il. Gray treas,
urer: S. H. Hanson. tiler: Dr. +.
Innis, chaplain: C. II. Wheeler IS
ouire: John A. Mclean, inside guara
Harry Kenney, organist; H. J. Hathe'
way. Chas. Carroll, Martin Law.ess
trustees. There were thirty-one char'
ter members. The installation ""'
followed by banquet.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-03-14
CHURCH AND PASTOR.
Late Items of Interest in Maine Re.
igious Circles.

The Methodist society of Brewer
will build a new church, this spring.
Five new members were received
into the Congregational church Cam
den, Sunday.
Rev. L. H. Slower has resigned as
pastor of the Congregational church at
Milo, owing to ill health.
Seven young persons were admitted
to membership in the Ft. Fairfield
congregational church, Sunday.
The Wilton Congregational church
has extended unanimous call to Rev
y. c. Furnish of Freeport
The 5Oth anniversary of the dedica-
ton OF the Methodist church at Frank
lin was observed, March 6.
The East Maine conference of Meth
odist churches will meet at Newport
April %. Bishop Andrews of New
York will preside
Rev. Robert w. Van Kirk resiened
The pastorate of the First BAPTIST
hurch, Rockland Sunday. He will
go to Jackson, Mich.
The Cumberland Theological Circle
will meet i'll the vestry of the Free
street church, Portland, Wednesday.
March is, at 10 A. M. The essay will
be by Rev. II. L. Caulkins of Var
mouth, topic, The Biblical Enrich
ment of Public Worship" Rev. Her
bert Tilden of Sanford will present the
practical topic, and Rev. DR.. j. X. Will
son of Portland will conduct the devo-
tional half hour.
The pastor of the Belfast Universa-
list church, Rev. Ashley A. Smith, is to
give a course of eight informal talks.
or eXtempOraneouS addresses, consist
ing of Interpretation and appreciations
OF the work of the following English
poets: William Cowper, March IS;
Sir Walter Scott, March %; John
Keats, March 90; Lord George
Gordon Byron, April 5; Percy Bysshe
fridge, April 10; William Wards
minute talks, there will be a reading
or ten or fifteen minutes of represen-
-atiVe passages and poems from the
work. of the considered.
The Methodist society of FIT Fairfield
about three years ago purchased Of l.. |
n Richards a fine piece of property in |
Pressure Isle street to be used as a |
parsonage. The property comprises
besides large lot, a large and up-to-
date dwelling house, stable and wood |
shed. The society bought the prop |
erty on credit, but Monday, March 3D. |
the last note was taken up, and the |
commodious dwelling is to-
day entirely free from debt. The |
money has been raised by free-will Of
ferings solely-no entertainments, |
fairs, suppers or similar enterprises
having been used as a medium for en-
'iching their treasury.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-03-14
-. ~..,.. and Comfort to mother and

~..t. rraalth and Comfort to Mother anu
Child. -~x,,,r, g..
MRS. wTNsLow's SOOTHING 3,,I sired rednc ces
DIFFERENTIATION. allays all pain, and cures VIII
coisc Perfectly safe in all cases. W. "h;id
sSv TO every mother who has suneT ,,reHndices
% not let your prejudice, nor tne y[nr suffer-
~ chSid snd the relief that will be sur 81 yh;s
r. Sid{siy 0urc-to follow the rso |. hotfia
SSi1sG fff1meIy used. Price 1Oos SSS
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-03-14
STUDENT SENT HOME.
Ural Robinson Left College Wrecked
In Health.
Friends of the Young Man Believe that
He Had Narrow Escape from
Death. An Interview with Mr..
Robinson.

Mr.. Ural Robinson was a student at
a business college in Canton, until re-
Gently When he was compelled to give
up his studies and return to his home
at Osnaburg, Ohio. This was the be-
ginning of an illness that brought him
near to death, as will be seen by the
following interview:
II broke down all of a sudden" saws
Mr.. Robinson, Il had headaches all the
time and was a nervous wreck. For
three months | was under physician 5
care and, although l spent considerable
money for medicines, nothing helped
me. At this time a severe attack of
rheumatism came on and made me
helpless. My limbs and hands were
swollen and caused me intense pain. [
could not move without suffering
agonies and any solid food distressed
me. The medicine my doctor gave me
would not stay ON my stomach. conse-
quently l became greatly reduced in
flesh and was so weak could not leave
my bed.
My mother had great faith in DR..
Williams Pink Pills for Pale People
and suggested that [ try them. I was
agreeably surprised to find that my
stomach would retain these pills and
soon saw that l was being benefited. BY
the time that l had finished taking the
fifth box l was thoroughly cured. My
cure is permanent, too, and L have
never enjoyed better health than have
since being cured by DR.. Williams
Pink Pills"
Mr.. Robinson's address is Rural Free
Deliv cry No. /, Osnaburg, Ohio, and
mis- remarkable cure of complication
of nervous trouble and acute rheuma-
tism can easily be verified
Mr., Robinson suffered from two
causes--a nervous disorder and a dis
ease of the blood. No other remedy
would have been so well adapted for his
case as DR.. Williams Pink Pills be-
cause they act both on the blood and
on the nerves. 1t is this that con-
stitutes the secret of DR.. Williams
discovery and that makes these pills
different from any other medicine. 1t
has been proven that DR.. Williams
Pink Pills have cured such diseases as
locomotor ataxia. partila paralysis, ST. |
Nitus' dance, sciatica, neuralgia, rheu- ,
nervous headache, the after !
heart, rale and sallow complexions |
and all forms of weakness either in |
male or female. They are sold by all |
druggists, or direct from DR.. Williams |
Medicine Co, Schenectady, N. Y Price, !
fifty cents per box; six boxes, two dol !
lars and a half.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-03-14

large business. His shipments Of
CLAIMS include Massachusetts and New
York and he is about closing a large
ordnr for San Francisco. The resi-
dents of Addison have shown consider
able appreciation at having so impor-
tant an industry established in their
town and are talking of exempting him
from taxation for five years.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-03-14
NEWS OF THE RAILROADS.

Good authority states that the new
Grand Trunk station at Portialiu e''i
not POSSIBLY be done on the MS
April as the contract cans io'' ~. ' ila
II will be fully the first Oh July pe
fore the depot is completed. II Is salo
for every days delay incurred IN .ne
construction, a sum has to De paio INC
Crand Trunk by the contractors.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-03-14

Years of suffering relieved in night
Itching piles yield at once to the curative
properties of Doans Ointment Never
fails. AT any drug store. so cents