davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-08-07
n PTecauIlon.

N i'sWhat did you do with that letter
that was on my tablet" asked a man
Of the colored boy who dusts his Of
fee. 81 tuck it to de postofice, sab
and put it in de hole" "Wh hat did
you do that for? Didn't you see there
was no address on the env elope?" 81
saw there was no writin' On de vel
me. but I lowed yed did dat On pur
moss, SOS couldn't tell who yer wa:
Writin' to-"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-08-07
Told in the Side Show.

The beautiful fat lady peeped over
her fan at the celebrated glass eater.
"And were you really on the verge of
starvation in the wilds of Alaskan
she asked timidly. WAS II" echoed
the. glass eat4r. why, for six days
I didn't have anything to eat but an
old pair Of spectacles and . thermom.
eter."
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-08-07
Melody, by the Hundredweight.

And the night shall be filled with
music" Playing the piano, in the
evenings, seems to be fad with ath-
letic girls. To the al fresco involun.
tary audiences up and down the street
a rare blend of the soulful and phys
ical forces it's way out through the
ENTHUSIASTICALLY these are raised to
save the glass. Muscle finds but an
imperfect outlet in music, but one
form of exercise suits the athletic
girl about as well as another.-St
Louis Republic.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-08-07
PITY Poor Pa.

"Aunty," he said to his mothers rich
unmarried sister, "stand on one Leg
"Why, you queer child" she replied,
what makes you ask me to do that?
l don't think I could do it if I tried"
"Well, pelican can stand on one leg,
can't it," Eyes," "Pa said you was
an old pelican this morning, so go on,
let's see you."
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1903-08-07
souirreI Disaples Engine

A half dozen men worked all ono
dav in a Greenwood me-, mil! recent
" trying to get it started, and two OF
them continued the next day. In de-
spair they took the engine to pieces
inside the cylinder were several quarts
Of nuts, bits of bark and other fine
stuff. A squirrel had gone in through
the exhaust pipe and had discovered
m excellent place for winter store
house.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24

thing which will most commend IL 10 the
public is the smoothness of the exterior or
the whole mechanism and the absence or
projections to be encountered by the hand
or to wear away clothing, IL il is carried In
ones pocket. On this account IL viii be
preferred to a revolver by watchmen and
all who have occasion TO carry such arms
in their pockets.
The new pistol is seven inches in length
rel is four inches in length. The calibre is
32-100 of an inch and the cartridge is rim
less and smokeless.
The action OF this pistol Is automatic, ex-
cept that the trigger must be pulled 10 fire
each shot, the cartridges being supplied
from a detachable magazine inserted in the
handle of the pistol. After the pistol is
charged with a full magazine. one opening
movement is made by the hand. bringing
the first cartridge into the chamber. on
pulling the trigger the cartridge is fired.
the empty shell extracted and new cart
ridge loaded into the chamber, all these op-
erations taking place automatically. with
out any manipulation OF the arm. The au-
tomato operation OF the pistol IL effected
by the record of the moving parts. and, as
a consequence, the recoil is 80 absorbed IN
being utilized that il has no disturbing eff
feet The first shot can be discharged more
quickly than from any arm made, as this
pistol can be carried with perfect safety
while the hammer is at full cock.
No less than thirty-five separate parts go
to the making up of this remarkable
weapon, and IL has been demonstrated that
the pistol can be taken completely apart
in five seconds without the aid OF any tool
1t has a number of safety features which
makes il a weapon which can be handled
with but little risk.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24

From MY Friend Annabel Lee"
Yes" said my friend Annabe1 Lee, IF
you ever feel to express proper gratitude
for the good things of this life, be sure
that you express your gratitude for the
right thing. Very likely you will not have
a great deal of gratitude and you must not
waste any of it-but what you do have will
be of the most excellent quality. For it will
accumulate, and the accumulation will all
go to quality. And the things for which
you are to be grateful are the bitternesses
you have known. If you have had 1T in
mind ever to give way to bursts of graft
tude for this air that comes from off the
salt sea, for that line of pearls and violets
that you see just above the horizon, for the
health of your body, for the sleep that
comes to you at the close of the day, for
any of those things, then get rid of the
idea at once. Those things are quite well.
but they are not really given to you. They
are merely placed where any one can reach
them with little effort. The kind fates
don't care whether you get them not.
Their responsibility ends when they leave
them there. But the bitternesses they give
to each person separately. They give you
yours Mary MacLane for your very own
Don't say they never think Of YOU.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24
GERMANS HAVE BIG DAY
kRIEGERBUND ENCAMPMENT IN
PROGRESS AT TERRE HAUTE.
Thousands Participate i'm the Parade
Sham Battle and Prize Drills
Are Held.

TERRE HAUTE, Ind, Aug. 23.-The fea-
ture of to-day's session of the North Amer
lean Kriegerbund encampment was the pa
rade in which marched the 1900 delegates
and numerous military and civic bodies.
The German war veterans were escorted
by three bands, Company b, Indiana Ma
tional Guard, Canton McKeen, Patriarchs
Militant and Companies 5 and 50, Uni
formed Rank, X. of p The local posts of
the G. A. r. and Union Veterans Legion
also joined the parade. A feature of the
parade was the flag presented to the Chi
cago societies four years ago by Emperor
William.
The Kreigerbund was formally welcomed
this afternoon by an address by Mayor
Henry G. Steeg, speaking for the local
German societies. Martin Gaas, of Chi
cage, treasurer of the Kriegerbund, re-
sponded. In behalf of the city of Terre
Haute, Judge Frank s. Rawley spoke in
English and Deputy County Clerk John
Haas spoke in German. a sham battle
representing the battle of Santiago was
given by Company at the driving park.
The rest of the afternoon was devoted to
prize drills by Canton McKeen band con-
certs and German and American songs by
the delegates.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24
DEVASTATED BY CYCLONE
CAYMAN ISLANDS STRUCK BY THE
STORM OF AUG. II.
Trees and Crops Destroyed and n
canine hmm m ent-SchoOners Miss
ing and Lives Probably Lost.

KINGSTON. Jamaica, Aug. pa schoon-
er which arrived here this morning reports
that the Cayman islands were devastated
by hurricane on the evening of Aug. IL.
Many houses at Georgetown, village
near the west end of Grand Cayman island.
were demolished. The vessels in the har
Dor were driven out to sea; two subsequent
Iy returned, but the others had not been
heard of up to Aug. II. 1t is feared that
serious loss of life has occurred. All the
trees and crops were destroyed and fam
inc is imminent The people expect the
government of Jamaica to send supplies.
Seven schooners were wrecked on the east
side of the principal island.
No news had been received from Cayman
Brae and Little Cayman up to the time
the mail schooner left, but it was thought
certain that these islands were devastated
by the cyclone.
The Cayman islands, which belong to
Great Britain and are attached to Jamaica,
consist of Grand Cayman, Little Cayman
and Cayman Brae. The total population of
the islands is 4,322
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24
HARBOR is BEING MINED
PREPARATIONS FOR HOSTILITIES
UNDER WAY AT PORTLAND.
Gen. Chanee Takes Command of the
Land FOrces-Admiral Barker
Is still at ROckland.

PORTLAND, Me, Aug. 23.-Although no
actual hostilities can be begun until Tues
day night in the war gam between the ar
my and navy, yet Rear Admiral Barkers
fleet has the official right to start for Port
land, the city to be besieged, at 6 o'clock
tonight. This will give the navy ffty-four
hours in which 10 get to its destination.
reconnoiter or deploy, as the admiral may
wish.
At 12 o'clock tonight the officer In COM
mand of the land forces assembled for the
defense of Portland was notified officially
that the fleet had started six hours be-
fore.
At midnight the work of towing the
mines to their position in the harbor was
begun. This will probably take over twen-
ty-four hours.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24

still Talking About Governor Durbin,
of Indiana.
New York Commercial Advertiser.

New York Commercial Advertiser
Governor Durbin. of Indiana. continues TO
show the people of his State and OF the
country that he is an uDholder OF law and
order without regard TO political coDse-
quences. He has removed the police CON-
missioner who failed 10 do his duty and
protect the business interests of Marion
during the recent labor disturbances there.
Whatever else he may be afraid OF IL II
clear that he has no fear OF that section OF
the labor vote which believes IN the use OF
violence
Ii is said of this Governor that ne is a
plain business man. of ordinary abilities.
whose honesty has never been questioned,
who was soldier in the civil war and CON-
manded a regiment i'm the spanish war and
who had done nothing 10 distinguish him.
self during the two years he had been Gov
ernor till he defended the Evansville jail
against the mob. There is distinct
had not done anything especially great till
the opportunity arrived and when Il ar
rived he was equal TO IL.
IL Is said By somewhat capfious critics
that he has merely done what other Coy
errors have done, that IL cost him nothing
TO do il and that he must be greatly sur
prised at his sudden fame. The fact re-
mains. however. that he was the first man
TO improve this opportunity. which Was
precisely the one thar came To the Gov
crnor OF Delaware and found him, unequal
10 H. The whole country needed the ex-
hibition of stern assertion OF the stlprcm-
acy of law and ORDER at the very moment
Governor Durbin supplied IL. and his abu-
itx 20 suppl Il on demand showed that he
was made OF true American stuc.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24
BEER DRINKING AND CANCER.


milwaukee, StntlDel.
1t is high time to call a halt on these
scientific alarmists, from whose assaults
nothing that Is dear to the palate of man
appears to be safe. So long as they con-
fined their iconoclastic labors to ordinary
articles or diet II did not matter much
since, roughly speaking, one food will
tain life as We'll another, but when in
their pathological research, they begin to
interfere with mans enjoyment of the
liquid refreshment that enables him to bear
the Sings and arrows of outrageous for
tune, there is occasion for protest. There
was nothing serious in dulling the appetite
for sufiar by declaring that an undue con,
sumption of the saccharine product induced
cancerous growths, as most men like il in
limited quantities, anyway; but to turn the
keen edge of enjoyment of the amber fluid
by asserting that beer causes the deadly
cancer is a grievous thing, not TO be borne
without an expression of righteous indig-
nation-otherwise and vulgarly styled a
kick.
Such announcement in the dead of
winter, when the highball and the cock
tail Will do as substitutes for the foamng
glass would not have been so bac. though
bad enough; but to spring IL now, with
the dog days upon US, when for long,
cool drink there Is nothing to take the
place of the fluid that made Milwaukee
famous, is a species of cruelty which de-
serves the deepest censure. And to pretend
that carefully gathered statistics show a
cancer mortality is not only rubbing il I'm,
but striking blow at or the greatest
ana most popular INDUSTRIES
This alarming assertion is made by DIR.
Alfred Wolff, whose article on the subject
in the Nineteenth Century Is quoted by the
Review OF Reviews for August. He has
been investigating the general subject of
cancer mortality i'm European countries.
and his conclusion concerning the effect OF
beer drinking is based upon statistics which
he gathered in those countries. He pro-
fesses TO have found that all districts of
high cancer mortality were districts in
which beer largely consumed and he
asserts that ''in no country could any in
stance be discovered in which large con-
sumption of beer was accompanied by
low cancer mortality
With what looks like malice prepense
he adds: 1.-The evidence appears to be ex-
tremely convincing.
mortality in the country he visited bears
a direct relation to the increased copsump-
ton OF beer that he urges that every eff
fort be made TO discover what constituent
of the beverage it is that communicates
the deadly influence" There is some COM
fort in his explanatory remark that alcohol
is not the cause, since IL search is made
for the deadly ingredient and IL is removed,
the cheering influence Of the fluid will re-
main. however it's taste may be changed.
There is still more comfort in the thought
that American and European beers are
widely different. and. happily. no American
scientist has yet promulgated any such joy
destroying theory
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24

Boston Literary World.
I'm $780, having risen TO a weekly income
of s15. lit out for Chicago, where 1 got
job on the Morning News, later the Record,
as a reporter. The following year I had
pretty good assignments. and i'm 1898 / did
special worlds fair stories. When the fair
closed up 1 became the father of depart
ment in the paper called Stories of the
Street i had to fill two columns every day.
which. with cut or two, meant from LOO
to 2.000 words. My stuff was next to Eu-
gene Fields 'Sharps and Flats When
Field died / got his desk. / used to get
desperate for ideas sometimes. One lucky
day / wrote a story on a church entertain
ment, in which Artie was the spokesman.
That in 1895. / heard from that story
so much that Artie was given show once
a week. In 1898 / ran up against the fable
of the old seriocomic form. L had learned
from writing my department that all peo-
pie. and especially women, are more or less
fond of parlor slang. In cold blood | began
writing the fables to make my department.
go. but ] had no idea that those fantastic
things would catch on as they have. My
first one was entitled The Blonde Girl Who
Married Bucket-Shop Man." Soon other
papers asked permission to copy the fables,
and then to share them with the Record.
and by-and-by a publisher collected them
and made up a copyrighted book. There
you have the whole thing in nutshell.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24

PORTLAND, Me-, Aug. 23.-Maj Gen. A.
r. Chaffee, who is to be the commander for
the army in the war maneuvers at this port
this week, arrived here to-day. With him
were General Barry, Captain Harper and
Captain Hamilton. Major Harrison arrived
tonight, while Colonel Livermore and Col.
Dunwoody, the other officers who are to
be associated with General Chaffee, have
been in the city for several days.
How busy we in the army will be for the
next few days will, of course. depend on
the navy" said General Chaffee. THE
troops will be over this vicinity-that will
be their part i'm the affair. Neither the
army nor the navy is playing for victories
in this game. On the contrary, we are try
ing to eliminate any idea that there may
be a contest. 1t Is test and practice or
material more than anything else.
IT will go about to various places here
tomorrow and Tuesday, visiting the camps
and forts. Probably / will also do this
every DAY. But during the most of the time
presume i will be on Cuskings Island, my
Headquarters. or on my nttie boat; the
i'm here tonight. She is on her way from
New York"
General Chaffee stated that Colonel w. f.
Stewart of Fort Hancock, N. T., will sue
coed Colonel Mills as the commander of
the military posts in and about Portland,
and that this change will take place within
a month, or rs SOOn DIS TIE NEW IOfh
troops now here return to their home posts.
The United States training ship Alliance
which has been in the harbor for the
past week sailed tonight under orders
from Rear Admiral Barker 1t is rumored
that her presence was distasteful to the
defending forces, which, 1T is said, thought
her spy.
Major Welsh, N. G. S. NJ, late this aft
ernoon captured the wireless telegraph sta
ton near the Two Lights and put guard
into the builuIng to prevent Electrician
Burbank, who was in charge, giving any
information TO the enemy, with whom he is
supposed to be in league
Colonel Dunwoody, the chief signal Of
ficer has built up series of searchlights
and stations. The lights are run on a
regular schedule and each one has its zone
of action no two crossing in any way.
They are arranged to be run collectively IL
necessary, but unless orders are given for
this the work is done on the zone system.
Two companies of New York signal men,
ninety i'm all, arrived on special cars to-
night and were quartered for the night with
the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Company of
Coast Artillery.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24

officers and men of which had no knowl-
edge of the business or character of their
voyaging sightseer except that they were
to take him wherever his pleasure inclined
him to go.
The Spanish agents at ST. Thomas be-
came suspicious of the young English
men," Ward and Buck being regarded as
of this nationality. and upon Wards de-
parture for San Juan they cabled the fact
of his going to the Spanish authorities.
Four officials of the port boarded the
steamer when she reached San Juan. and
cross-questioned the suspected passenger
So convincing was the American officer
that he was finally advised that he would
not be molested. but was not TO be per-
mitted ashore. Not contented with his
narrow escape, and desiring information IN
addition to that which he could get in the
harbor. Ward protested TO the British con-
sui at being confined TO the ship, and
through the intercession of that officer.
who little knew whose cause he was advo-
eating, the prohibition To land was re-
moved. In company with the consul and
Spanish naval officer. he landed and called
upon the naval commandment. of whom he
requested relief from the espionage of the
Spaniards. This request was granted, and
Ward strolle1 along the water front and
through portion of the Spanish barracks.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24

Miss Ruth Bryan tn Take Up SOciolog-
zeal Work i'm Chicago.

CHICAGO, Aug. 23.-Mrs. w. j. Bryan
and daughter. Miss Ruth Bryan. left to-
night for their home at Lincoln, Neb., after
having spent several days in this city. One
of the objects of the trip was a visit to the
Hull House settlement at Halsted and Polk
streets. an institution supported by char
tiles for the benefit of the poorer classes
and conducted by Miss Jane Adams, the
noted sociologist. 1t is the intention of
Miss Bryan to take up the settlement work.
becoming a member of the Hull House
staff, early in the fall.
Miss Bryan, who is nineteen years DID,
is the eldest daughter of William Jennings
Bryan. She has been student at the Uni
versty of Nebraska during the past two
years. She is of unlimited energy, and
possesses an ambition to accomplish some
thing in the way of assisting the class of
children fostered by Miss Adams and
others interested in such work.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24
A SHAMEFUL JOKE
To Represent X. b. Hayes as a Tipsy
Orator.
Brooklyn Eagle.


1.-The Doc" as everybody called him. was
one of the most successful oculsts i'm the
West, and one OF the most irrepressible
jOkers. He made some almost fabulous fees
by restoring the vision of very wealthy
men, but he never became wealthy himself
because his first thought, after obtaining
any considerable sum OF money, was how
TO spend 1T in the preparation OF some stu
pendous joke.
When President Hayes and his party were
swinging round the circle" Tin 1879, think
4. was) the Doc received very large fee
for a successful operation on blind mill
lionaire, and forthwith gathered a number
Of good fellows" 10 enjoy a lark with him.
The services of clever makeup artist
were engaged, and the members of the
party were transformed into pretty good
limitations OF President Hayes and his
party: Then the Doe hired a special train
to take him and his jokers over "A little
railroad which ran through an agricultural
country with no large cities. but plenty OF
small towns and villages along the line,
kilograms were sent TO the mayors and
postmasters of these places announcing
that the President had suddenly changed
his plans and was coming over that route
that day.
IL is needless to say that this glad news
spread rapidly. and that great crowds were
awaiting the train at each station At
cry such point the train was stopped and
the impersonators of President Hayes. Sec
rotary Sherman and other national figures
made speeches from the rear platform.
And such speeches. At first they were So
everything that the administration really
favored, but as the day sped and more and
more of the Docs drinkables vanished the
party of fake notables became more aud
more hilarious. President Hayes, during
whose administration il was said that water
flowed like wine at the White House din
ners-fancy him two-thirds fipsy and
swinging champagne bottle above his
head while delivering such speech as this:
"Feler-citizens: They tell YOU I'm a tee
totaler. Don't you believe il. I'm one a.
the boys from way back. and don't yon fur
git IL, Here's To you May you all live
long and go to bed drunk every night.
Whoopee, Let 'er GO Gallagher
Or words 10 that effect
Nearly all day they kept this sort of
thing up, and there are people out there
now who sit around the groceries and groe-
geries telling of the time they 'seen Presi-
dent Hayes an the hull dunn Cover ment-
an a mighty tough lot they was. too"
And the Doc he paid the freight.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-08-24
ZIMMERMAN is CONFIDENT.
He Thinks Ohio Democrats Will Name
Him for Governor.


SPRINGFIELD, o., Aug. 81 am con-
Bdent of being nominated for Governor by
the Democratic state convention" said John
l.. Zimmerman tonight after he had re-
ceived returns from the twenty-one coun-
ties which selected delegates Saturday.
lit looks if the people were going to
force me to be their candidate / figured
on having 400 delegates, including the five
/ will get from Guernsey county on Mon
day"
Ii only takes 346 to nominate and thinner
mans friends feeling in high spirits
over fhe result OF the 200 selected, thinner
man says he has sixty-five and johnson
sixty-two, with contested delegation of
seventy-three from Cuyahoga county
where Johnson lives Zimmerman's friends
say that he will control the majority of the
districts. the committee credentials and
the organization.
At the close of long conference i'm Co.
lumbus to-day between Tom L. Johnson and
Charles Salem. of Cleveland. and Johu W.
Bookwalter. of this city, the latter issued
a signed statement withdrawing from the
race for Endorsement for United States
Senator before the Democratic State con-
vsntion on Wednesday. Since his return
from New York Mr.. Bookwalter has been
i'm frequent conference with Mr.. thinner
man, and this latest move is the result of
the understanding they arrived at yester-
ddy.