Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1903-01-02
OUTSIDE POINT OF VIEW

| { UUloiUE FUlNl VT VIEW
| The American habit of swearing Off
on New Years day gives the para
/ been the subject of many editorials and
at least one lecturer has used it as a
| drawing card What follows here is in
no sense attempted originality, but 1t
seems as tho there were few almost
forgotten subjects that, if again
| brought to notice, may be used to adj
vantage by some as new swear offs
on the first day of 1908. And IL this
screed results "in one change of
heart" if some chance reader adopts
one suggestion herein, like the modern
revival meeting, it will be worth all it
costs.
For instance, my kind friend, you
know you are snorer. Perfectly
reckless of the feelings of your wife,
and family, as well as an occasional
visitor over night, you have allowed the
hapit to become chronic. You are well
aware that in the stiffness of the night
your wife has to go to the bedside of
your son and heir to find out whether
he has the Group, or the fearful noise
is the regular snore of the head of the
family. You remember that the last
time you We're at the hotel in Chicago
you heard a man remark in an adjoin-
ing bedroom in the short hours after
midnight, thank God, he's dead" and
the explanation came to you the next
morning, you had stopped snoring,
stopped with jerk just before he made
that unfeeling statement. All this, and
more that would be extremely indeli-
cate to mention here, you know. VIII
you swear off snoring for one year?
Again, that habit of button -holing
people. This extremely unpleasant
habit of yours Is one you are not en-
urely conscious of, that is to the ex-
tent you indulge in it. Behind your
back your friends call You a bore.
When YOU max a business eali. make
it and git" Have you ever read the
sign prominently hung in Smith. Brown
& Jones office? 1t reads:
Call upon man of business
During the hours of business.
Transact your business.
And allow him to attend to his BUSH
ness"
Don't stop the doctor on his way to
call on a patient. That travelling man
you held up on Fourth street yesterday
was on his way to take train, and al
most missed it because of your long
winded stories. Even your lady friends
wish when you get thru that last story
you would go, and not stop at the hall
door and commence another. Maybe
you think it's favor for you to drop
in every day to the Weekly Gazette Of
flee and give the editor few pointers.
He's button-hol because there is
work there for him to do. and he must
stay and listen to your opinion of how a
weekly paper should handle town scan
dial. Swear off, my friend, from the
real and the fguratiye button-hole
habit.
Once more, brethren, if there be one
among you who has the terrible habit
of relating to friends upon each and
every possible occasion of what "I'
did, what "I' said, and 'T' would have
done, swear off for year, and you'll
never take up the habit again. 1t |
never has occurred to you
that neither your friends nor the pub
lie in hotel, depot or car care to hear
Of what you said when the emancipa-
ton proclamation was issued. You
think that the preacher was very much |
interested in what Il told Smith as we
Were coming out of church last Sun
day." Your friends smile when you
are not looking, but telling that II told |
Governor Cummins these men ought to |
be hung without any more legal de. |
lays" And the common council heard
one member say to another, after the
meeting was over, that old wind bag
was up here before you came in and
said, i don't approve of your licensing
the saloons by this ordinance or any
other" Mr.. 81" these words will |
strike you as a mighty good thing for
Jones. You're going to send him a |
marked copy. Read 1T over again and |
swear off, yourself.
Finally, my hearers, swear off from
reading aloud this to include all print |
ed and written matter. Not to read the
Bible aloud? My friend, 1T is the dead
lest sin of all. You don't know 1t, but |
those family prayers at the boarding
house al the lakes last summer could
nave been continued Indefinitely but
FOR your reading aloud the scriptures.
You didn't see Mrs. Smith go out I'M
der the trees to read her Bible alone
while you were stumbling over the BIZ
bic names and making fun for that |
Young college student. With all respect |
or the good book, Swear off" reading
I aloud. This for the sake of religion
and sacred things. And do you know
Why the publishers Of the up too date
iaily do not stick the pages together?
It's to prevent you keeping the whole
PAPER in your possession and reading 1t
loud. Your wife now says, Never
mind. John, I'm reading the local page;
cad to yourself" The men in the ho-
ell office feel like killing you when you
freak out, "Say, here's a good thing"
That man over at the writing desk Is
wing to make out his daily report. He
avs to himself, II wish that old fool
ould shut up; read that this morn
g.' During the Spanish war those
lanes Of towns and Warships and