Evening star., 1903-07-25
MIDDLE AGE STATION

1T has only recently been dawning upon
me what's the matter with me-Im hiking
along toward middle age" remarked ro-
tund man of forty-fve or so who accom-
plished great deal of roaming up and
down the world before he dropped anchor
and settled in Washington about decade
and a half ago. L hate to believe it, but
it's fact.
The other afternoon l went into a store
to buy hat.
Show me some straws,' l said to the
salesman.
The salesman brought out lot of those
narrow brimmed. soft. high-crowned straw
hats that the sedate old codgers wear, for
comfort more than for looks.
Not that kind said rather inpatient
ly to the salesman-I didn't enjoy the i'm
Dutation he suggested by fetching out hats
of that kind. 'Wide-brimmed sailor straws,
you know-something stylish-not necessari-
ly jaunty. -er-stylish and effective.
The salesman looked at me rather doubt
fully.
Very WELL he replied. but the kind I've
shown you are the sort that are mostly
worn by settled men,
Settled men,. Me settled man. That
came as sort of shock to me. I'm bound
to admit.
Say. how old dye think I ana hun
dred and fourteen? 1 asked the salesman.
oh. no. he replied. smiling. but. you
know. those wide-brimmed sailor straws are
generally worn by-they're more suitable
for the young fellows, y'know.
Il hadn't entirely got into the habit of
chasing myself as anything else but one of
the young fellows but of course l had to
accept the polite salesman's verdict that l
was in the fOgy ClaSS-I can't that i
enjoyed it.
But that salesman's opinion wasn't the
first to nudge me along to the somewhat
unpleasant realiZa ton that I'm really not
one of the young fellows any more. Last
winter l went into shoe store and said.
sort OF off-hand. to the salesman, Show me
some shoes size eight and blamed If he
didn't look me over and then fetch out four
five pairs of square-toed, very soft leath-
er congress gaiters-those shoes with the
elastic tabs at the sides, you know. that old
codgerS wear so that they can clip EN- on
and Off easily. l was foolish enough to de-
part from that shoe store In sort of huff,
but when l thought 1t over and cooled out
l perceived that the shoe salesman wasn't
really to blame-it was myself that was to
blame for getting into the mddle-aged
class and taking on that congress gaitery
look, So l went back to the shoe store and
bought my shoes there. Congress CATERS?
Not much. l bought pair of buttoned
Iatent leathers-dye think I'm going to per-
nit them to just naturally force me to be
middle-aged by their implications that
have reached that stage?
II began to notice, too, a while back,
that a great many of the young fellows
with whom 1 came into business or social
contact-chaps Of from twenty-five to thir-
ty-were falling into the habit Of calling
me Sir | hate to own up how much that
distressed when I noticed it. l knew
that l held no exalted station that would
entitle to the sir business from any
body and then l was reluctantly-great
Scott! how reluctantly-forced to the con-
cluSlon-beyOnd all doubt the correct con-
cluSion-that the only reason why these
fellows of twenty-five and thirty were ad
dressing me as sir was that they wanted
to evince proper respect toward me as a
middle-aged man. After Stirring me these
same fellows would right in my presence.
rollickingly address fellows of their own
age by their first names. 1t made me feel
like one out of the picture-like one dished.
| had passed that Quearly indetna BILE line
of demarcation between the young fellow
and the settled man. without knowing
it or appreciating the significance of the
unfelt change-and then. when l was forced
to think it over. the knowledge of 1t came
swooping upon me like an avalanche-I had
reached middle age and joined the settled
crowd all unawareS. I'll get used to it in
time no doubtful have tO-but it's an un-
canny, meaSley sort OF feeling at first. |
fell to wondering whether, in my utter un-
appreciation Of the fact that had attained
or was verging upon middle age, l had gone
on acting too much the part Of the young
fellow, thus giving people the chance to
criticise me for trying to keep up the bluff
that | still possessed the youth that had
Slipped away from me without my know
ing it. The thought of that chagrined me-
l hate to see middle-aged man making
the foolish effort to trot along in the young
fellow claSs-there's something humiliating
to me in such Il spectacle. And so. next
summer. I suppose that. after all, l shall
have to go one Of those straw hats that are
devised for the settled men. and after
that mayhap. even the congress CATERS,
If only to keep people from poking furtVe
fun al me- under their impression that am
making frantic efforts to act and look like a
young fellow after my genuine young fell
lowhood had glided hopelessly far behind
me.
But this forced realization OF the fact
that your youth has gone and that you We
been thrust into the middle aged class
willy nilly. takes a good many wistful lit
tie ambitions out of your life. / a
great wanderer over the face of the earth
in my young manhOOd-did lot of sailing
before the mast to cut-of- -the-way corners
Of the world when there was no other
cessity for it except that 1 longed to have
a good square look at the world and all
parts Of it. Well. since I've settled down
here in Washington the thing that the
Germans call the 'wander-lust has often
seized me. and I have hankered to be on
the move up an down the world again. The
fact that had taken a wife and had Il
family of children. Of course. rendered any
such thing my yielding to these i'm
pulses out of the question. But l always
had a sort of hold-out in this connection.
when I'd take my clothes off I'd get to
looking 1T the tattooed figures on my arms,
and fall to dreaming of the strange little
corners of the orient that | was running
into when l had those tattoo marks made
with the youths pride in such foolish
things-and then the old longing to
up-anchOr and get under steam again
would seize HE. Whereupon. of course.
I'd be brought up with round turn with
the thought of my settled-do condition
and my wife and children. But. even then.
I'd say to myself. oh. well. III see all OF
those old places again one of these days
I'll have more good old rattling cruise
in the South Seas. anyhow. before L m
piped out-plenty of time plenty of time
I'm young yet.
"And l still giving entertainment to
these vague dreams when the realization
was forced upon me that l was Il middle
aged man. that midde-aged men are not
for the wandering game: that the old reck-
less years had long gone and were worse
than hull down on the horiZOn-and then
it was borne In upon me that that little
wistful hOld-out of mine as to again seeing
the strange out t-Of-the- corners of the
earth was the merest fantasy-that. as a
fhnro sr,1a nf