Warren sheaf., 1903-08-27
Some Warren Notes.

papers contain plentiful lack OF
"ginger. 1 propose to set the
style and show samples. Every
body should know that reporter is
not worth his salt who cannot draw
upon his imaginationfor his facts.
But first must tell you a story,
by illustration, substantially as fol-.
lows: .,a T.. ,.--
1t is related that the city editor
OF certain metropolitan newspaper
was greatly annoyed with the work
OF certain reporter-Englishman,
of course, who would not tumble to
a joke unless a three-story building
fell on him. This man sent in re-
port of singularly meaty incident,
bare statement of facts and mighty
few of them, so bald, in fact, that
one of the staff was constrained to
suggest that little Of Ayers Hair
Vigor, rubbed on, might help some.
This suggestion d: was promptly
frowned down as. trenching on the
ad department.. Calling him up, the
irate city editor said: "See here, Mr..
Jenkins, your work does not please.
[ will give you last assignment.
Big fire raging on 'Steenth street;
take the Elevated and get there as
soon as you can; here's badge ad-
mitting within fire lines; find the
hottest place you can and jumpin "
So here goes with. the. first sam
pie:
Jay Bolton has the finest brindle
bull pup in all America, and 'still
'e's not 'appy"
Complimentary to Patsy. hoping he may be-
come subscriber to the SHEAF He certainly
knows enough to recognize good thing when
he sees it.l
Severson, the ad architect, has
lately acquired one of Taralseth' S
new suits-how, I do not know, but
probably on the installment plan.
In consequence of the possession
thereof, he has grown so chesty
that he reminds nae, in one respect
of an old woman he is positively,
as was once said of Gladstone,
past all bearing. His clothes don t
fit him now and that white cap he
affects is at least two sizes too small.
[ would take ticket any time to
see him rolled in the mud about
eleven or eight minutes, to take the
conceit out of>him.
[Advertisement-l time paid.] i5l'
An exciting experience sfell to
the lot of land agent lately. He
settled" a man on a section of land
out ROLLS way, claiming that it had
a lake and there we're fine water
privileges This was true, sure
enough, for it was nearly all water
and the parts not covered BY water
we're sand. LastIwinter this was.
The other day the man came to town
with blood in his eye, and bursting
in on the land agent hevociferated in
a loud tone Of voice: sDeryerknow
what I think Of you. You are the
biggest liar on earth p The land
agent rose precipitately, grasped
the mans hand efusively, his face
fairly beaming with complacency,
smiling sweetly, said warmly: my
dear sir, you fatter me r. .>
[original Joke evolved out of my think
tank. All rights reserVed.l .s.-.. -=
Jeremiah Wayback, from the wilds
of the upper end of the county, came
to town last week with the odor of
frangipanni or jockey club perfume
on his boots; also, with a load Of
oats. Having disposed of his oats
and too liberal quantity of liquid
refreshments, he felt his oats and
set out to paint the burg a lovely
crimson and play horse generally
with the peaceable inhabitants
thereof. In this pleasant diversion
he was espied by Officer Dady, who,
clothed in the majesty of the law,
a deep-sea-b blue suit, nickel plated
badge and rattan. promptly
swooped down upon him and hailed
him before Justice Satire, who after
a few minutes reflection assessed
the damages to the peace and Dig
nifty Of the city at five simoleons, or
the alternative Of five days continu-
Gus residence. in Argyle. Very
wisely, it is thought, he did not
choose the alternative, but painfully
counted out the current coin Of the
realm, put it on the desk Of the JUS
4;on ond hn1tod n,If H,rr;od11 ~