The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-05

One there was a long headed Father
who had taken the Junior into the
Down Town Office and was trying to
eradicate the Greek and Latin from
his System.
The Junior was a Lovely Chap
whose clothes came to about twice his
Salary. He resembled the smooth
faced Hero of Richard Harding Da-
Wis S1.50 Book. By keeping his Hair
neatly gummed down and wearing the
right shape of Collar. likewise vamp-
ing few tender Chords on the Piano
and holding up his end in light
weight conversation, he had managed
to elbow his Way into the Front Row
of that Select Division of the Human
Race known as the Landed Gentry. be-
cause they get Landed so often.
Bertrand Flappingdale was the Name
of this particular CONNECTION. In Our
Set he was known as BERTHE and among
the Employees at the Shop he was
known as Bluff. Bert's. Pathway in
Life was so nicely Lgbtic ated and
everyone was so awfully:: Nice to- him
that after while he felt gessonably
Certain that the Earth and the Full
ness thereof had been -dished san es-
pecfally for his Benefit. and hacould
cancel the Order any time that he saw
fit. So 3
Flappingdale Senior had never
smoked Egyptian Cigarettes and at
tended Junior Proms during his Incu-
bator Period, He had been too busy
trying to make the email Tickets last
from one Saturday Night to another
The only Time he got real Hunny was
when he told how he used to work for
Six Week and plant 500 a year in
the Building and Loan Association. 1t
had been many Years since they took
his Boiled Dinners away from him and
made his eat Artichokes but he was
still Farmer at Heart. And when
they threw him into the long-tailed Re-
gala with the misfit Tie he had Yap
stenciled all over himself.
You make take one of these self
made Luminaries and wean him away
from his Pie and rub him with Silk
underwear for years. but you cannot
iron the Lines of Rugged Character
from his Front Piece nor separate him
from the Homely Doctrines that were
called to his Attention by means of a.
hickory Cad some forty years earlier
in the game.
Consequently, the elder Flapping-
dale did not hit 1t off to any large Ex-
tent with Bertie's Friends. most of
whom had their Names already set up
IN the Society Column 365 Days in the
Year. but not one of them could have
inquired per cent Discount unless he
had taken a Day off. They did not care
for Business. but Business never seem
ed to Languish much on that Account.
One of the Hard Jobs that Fate had
mapped out for Flappingdale Senior
was to prevent his blue-eyed Offspring
from being abducted and snaked away
to the Altar. The Trouble was that
-Bert1e wanted to be Abducted About
every Change of the Moon he would
begin to act more or less Dippy and
cut out the Office altogether. and go
Glrl-Hunttng in his cream-colored
Chariot. with one Horse hitched in
front of the other one. Then the
head Of the Works would have to call
him in and put some Cracked Ice on
him and get him cooled down.
The first one to lay him out and
have him Fluttering was ninety
FOUNDER. about six weeks from the
Nursery. The cold blooded Guynors
begged him not to rob the Cradle. and
wanted to know something about her
knowledge of Housekeeping. which is
lnvar1able a Stiff Jolt for Loves
Young Dream. While Bertrand was
waiting for Chance to Elope with