The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-10

REPORT THEM DRUNK SIR"
One morning he called for the chief
surgeon and handed him the daily re-
port, saying: Take that back, and
make out an honest report The sur
Reou protested that all Of his reports
were honest, but the commodore in
sisted that they were not. Finally the
surgeon told the commodore that he
exceeded his authority, as well as his
knowledge, in telling a surgeon how
to make out a sick report. ThereuPon
the old commodore almost took him
OF his feet, by roaring out:
Take this sick report and make
it out honestly, or / will get sur
geon who will make an honest report.
Take out all of these lines telling Of
officers who have dyspepsia, indiges-
ton, gastric irritation, gastric fever
and all that kind of rot. Make out the
report that these officers are unfit for
duty to-day, because they have been
drunk over night" This sick list has
got to be cut down."
"Down east of the navy yard reser-
vstion," continued Mr.. Birth, were
Widow Wheeler's possessions. Al
though her mansion was only Is by Al
feet, it was located on a small run
emptying into the Anacostia river,
and the widow was sought by many
who believed in marrying land and q
woman at the same time, She had
several small sail boats and a number
of row boats, and was fond of picnic
ing and excursions; but not one of her
numerous suitors ever made any prog
ress. The naval officers flashed their
brass buttons on her, but she would
have none of them. Brass buttons
were not as potential in the matri-
monial market then as they are to-
day.
Just beyond this reservation IA,
along the river front, is the congress
sional cemetery, and the remains of
Christ church still stand near by.
This plot of ground was given to the
congress by the widow of William
Young, and 1t was the intention of
having all congressman buried there
who might die il this city. It was in
tended to be q great honor, although
1 never heard Of any congressman
dying just for the sake of being buried
here. Mrs. Ruth Young, owned more
land than did Widow Wheeler, and
she also was sought by the brass but
tons from the navy yard, but she re-
manned true to the memory Of her
first husband and loyal 20 the land
that he left to her. She owned all Of
the land set aside for the congression-
al cemetery, and also about so acres of
what now seems to be the most desir-
able part of east Washington, but it
was all farm land then.
when was q young man there was
not q session of congress that did not
bring some persons here applying for
the privilege of putting up big ship
building plant. There must have been
wise men in the congresses Of those
days. All Of these people who came
begging for the franchise Of govern
ment ship building were turned down;
and the main argument Of the OBJ
structors was that the time win come
when there viii not be enough water
here for q navy yard and shipbuilding
plant And they were right"
This Is interesting news from the
past century. Those statesmen Of
hundred years ago, and up to so years
ago, must have been farseeing and sci
entifc men. Moreover, they must
have been patriotic, because Mr.. Birth
says that he very frequently heard it
stated that Substantial inducements
were offered to influence legiElation."
But, in those days, even the st. Louis
aldermen were honest.
'sThe sailing vessels Of the navy used
to come to the navy yard, continued
Mr.. Birth; sand they received com
plete supplies here. Before the begin
ming Of the civil war have often seen
our battleshfps here at anchor, and
wewereVery proud Of them, for we be-
Iieyed them TO be the terror Of the seas
until the confederate Merrimac
rammed and sunk them down q Nor
folk. You win never understand how
frightened We all were IN this city,
when the awful news broke upon rs
that our great battleships carrying
apparently inxincible batteries, had
been hammered into splinters By that
new monster Of the seas"