The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-04
a Negro Funeral Sermon Preached in
Fernandina, Fla.

Fernandina, Fla.
Boston Transcript
Brother jenkins had died: there he
The church was crowded with SORROW
ing mourners; the men sat on the right
side. and the women on the left; ban
danna handkerchiefs were in evidence.
There was much shifting and wailing
and bowling. Brother ]. was the
preacher. and sat directly behind the
coffin, facing the congregat alton He had
asked Brother Gardner. the presiding
elder, TO say a few words about the
dear departed. Brother Gardner arose,
clearing his throat vigorously and WHIP
ing his eyes again and again. He
glanced towards the Amen corner,
where sat the bereaved widoNy Matilda
and long row of fatherless children.
Clearing his threat again, ne began in
the most solemn and holy tone:
Bredderin' an belubbed friends of
the p'or departed Brudder Jinkins: We
is gaddered here agin today to mourn
the obsequies OBJ dis here pillar OBJ
de church; him was a lily OBJ de val
ley, a flower OBJ de fiock,' an de shep-
herd oh Israel; him was de best hus-
band an fadder dat any CONAN ebber
had: him was a chile OBJ de Lord; him
was de best man dat ebber trod de
streets OBJ Fernandina, an we assem-
bles TO offer our sympathies today to
p'or Sister Matilda, an dem thirteen
head of fatherless chillen''
Howl after howl went UP; some of
the visitors felt impressed with the i'm
portance of the late brother, and SYM
pathized deeply with the poor sorrow
ing widow, and wondered how the
church would ever get along without
him.
Suddenly Brother Johnson, the
preacher, interrupted him as he was
about to continue his flowery praise,
and, standing on tiptoes and scream
ing out with all his might, called in
laundering tones:
''Brudder Gardner, am yo' throo'
Am yo' throo' teilin' all dem beautiful
lies? I want yo' to know dat niger am
dade: him's long way past whar dem
beautiful lies of yourn am gwine to do
MIN any good whatSOmebber, and him S
a long ways past whar my trufe am a
gwine to hurt him., an Ise gwine to tell
de truf about dat Niger. Him was the
dead beateneSt niger Fernandina ebber
seed. Him was drunk hand runnin'
ebber night TO forty years. Yo' an
/, Brudder Gardner, amt done nothin'
but pull him out OBJ de callaboose
thousands of times pointing to the
dead; hump. yo' know, OATS de trufe,
ole man. no 'sputin' wild me now; lie
down dar quiet, ! say; de Lord knows
yo' would be drunk dis minute if de
debbil did mt nab 70, or had anv
whisky dar yo' could buy. want de
congregation to stop all dat snif1in'
round here ober dat lazy, trifiin',
drunken Niger; an as TO wastin' your
sorrow ober po'r sister Matilda an dem
thirteen hade OBJ fadderless chiilen, I.
me, myself fink she done made mighty
good radiance of bad rubbish" with a
loving glance toward the Amen corner),
IAN / hope the fust young buck she'll
spark will be me. An what's more, dis
here niger cost me money TO dis box
to bury him in; Ise out of pocket IS, an
Ise gWine to be disembursed befo' I
Leah de meetin'l
.'Yo'se all sayin' yo'se sorry round
here: now Ise gwine To glib yo' de
chance 10 show how sorry 20 am sho'
'nough; come along head ebbery last
one of yo' an put 20 money down in
tangible sorrow an show how sorry yo'
is; walk long up Hbely now an put yo'
money down
Sister Polly Ann. yo's workin' TO
SIS month; yo' handkerchief done say
yo's sorry a lot; what 20 poeketbool
tink about it, How sorry is yo' Sister
Polly2"
sister Polly tucked away her hand
kerchief and sailing up the aisle. plain
lively said. Use sorry TO bits" and
laid down so cents upon the coffin.
The preacher kept on with the col
lection. How sorry is yo' Brudder
Gardner? come long up here an lay
down yo' money! How sorry is de mud
der OBJ de church,"
The mother of the church walked up
and was sorry six bits and laid
down her money.
How sorry is you, Sister Amp"
sister Ann gTieved to the extent of
two bits and so on through the con-
gregation, the women hurried up the
aisle, proud of a chance to show off
their new frocks, and put down their
money in tangible SORROW, until an
old auntie hobbled up on her cane I'M
til she reached the coffin, then wheel
ing about and facing the congregation,
she exclaimed
Il nebber hear de trufe told befo' at
any niger funeral, an Ise gwine to
tell de trufe. Brother Jinkins was the
meanest niger de Lord ebber made,
an I amt sorry one picayune," and
here she gave the edge of the coffin a
laundering rap with her cane. 40 yo'
shore stole ebbery hog 1 ebber had in
Fernandina."
And thus Brother Johnson called out
an honest expression of tangible so--
row. to the amount of $10-75; IS he put
instantly into his pocket, the rest he
turned over to the widow; and in less
than two weeks he was the proud pos
SCISSOR of the remainder Of The funeral
money, for he bravely married the
widow and thirteen head" OF father
less children.