The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-19
ORIGIN OF WEIRD
"NEWS" FROM WEST.
How the Fakfrs Make Their Own
Market and a Good Living Ont of
From the Philadelphia Ledger.

From the HnlidQelpnld IeuSCAs
have noticed that the newspa pers
of Chicago and the Eastern cities are
not getting so many wonderful stories
from the West as they used to-" said
the venera bile Exchange editor, lean
ing back in his chair and peering over
his spectacles. 1.-The profitable industry
of ia king seems to be in its decline in
that section, and the correspondents in
Kansas and the Dakotas appear to
have given up the fight they conducted
so long. and so Valiantly to secure for
their respective states the reputation
as the home of the newspaper fake"
1T certainly is a lucrative industry
when properly conducted" said the
telegraph editor, who was raised on
grasshoppers eat up a prosperous town
in a single night. Sending out hair
raising stories of thrilling events that
existed only in my mind has brought
me many hundreds of dollars" he con-
fessed, with no blush of shame.
We'll, when 1 was in Pierre 1 gar
nered a few ducats that way myself"
said the exchange editor, smiling at
the recollection. What newspaper man
hasnt-in Dakota!"
Il amt a-sayin' nothing" said the
old reporter, with apparent serious
ness, and the others, who had heard of
some of the things he had done in his
time, lauged loudly.
The Rosa Whiteface Ransom.
THE Rose Whiteface yarn was one
OF the best paying fakes l ever manu-
featured" started the Telegraph Edi-
ltor, lighting his pipe. L was in Wichita
then. Rosa was supposed to be an
Usage Indian girl, of rare beauty for
an Indian, whose father, a hard heart
ed savage, had decided to auction her
off to the highest bidder. The girl was
rich-you know the Usage Indians
really are wealthy, and this gave the
story little foundation"
well" continued the Telegraph Edi-
tor, Rose Whiteface had a lover"
Get on to the romance!" interjected
the Exchange Editor
Rosa had a lover" wen on the Tel
egraph Editor, "a lover poor but noble,
who begged the stern father to post
pone the auction until he could de-
Velop mine in Arizona. The savage
pater refused. The lover committed
| suicide. All these things took time.
you know, and 1 got the country work.
ed up to a respectfully high pitch of
indignation. One newspaper editor
wired an offer of $1,000 for the rescue
of the Indian maiden.
'Whiteface has shut her up in an
underground prison, 1 telegraphed in
reply Then ever sympathetic soul in
the land was convulsed with inexpress-
ible Indignation and sympathy for the
| poro, beautiful Indian girl.
The day of the auction approached.
| Rosa fell into decline. Nothing
| seemd to arouse her, and even govern
ment rations remained untasted. FL
nally old Whiteface was bought off for
a large sum, furnished by the neWspa-
per whose editor had offered a reward
for the rescue of Rosa. The newspaper
got a great advertisement out of it,
and the editor prides himself to this
day on his chivalrous conduct"
who got the money!" asked the
Old Reporter.
That's a Kansas mystery"
The Vacuum Pump.
The Exchange Editor, who had been
cleaning and refilling his pipe during
this narration, lit it and began, it be-
ing his turn:
There was an old woman who once
fell in a well-and thereby hangs a tale.
Jane Smith was her name, and she was
the frugal and handsome, if somewhat
corpulent, wife of a farmer, same name,
living five or six miles out of Wichita
She was walking along through the
farmyard with a pail of milk on her
head, if 1 remember rightly, when
k hugi she went feet first into a bored
well. The well was only eighteen inches
across. and if the farmers handsome
wife had gone in head first she would
have been killed instanter. 1 wot not,
but as it was, she stuck in the we'll
about six feet from the top. When her
husband found her she was slipping
down, inch by inch, and as you may
suppose, it was a pathetic sight. The
well was 200 feet 9 inches deep.
Keep your courage up, janet
shouted the farmer as he ran for a
rope.
''He lowered the rope and the woman
grasped it. By that time she was
tnirty-five feet down the well. Try
as he would, the farmer could not raise
the woman by the rope. He ran for
the neighbors, and by the time all the
farmers in the country roundabout had
abandoned their plows in the fields and
the farmers wives their pans in the
kitchens and assembled to a depth of
fifty feet. They could hear her voice
She was, according to the calculations
of a mathematical son of Jones, a
neighbor, twenty-five feet from the
water.
But one hopeful thing about it was
that she had starter slipping down in
the solid rock, the bore was a little
narrower and she didn't 60 quite so
fast
MY gracious, man. how did you ever
get that woman out?" shouted the Ex-
change Editor.
Simplest thing in the world" said
the Telegraph Editor. IT put in a sue
ton pump and exhausted the air from
the bore down to where the farmers
handsome wife was stuck"
"Yes?"
That created vacuum in the top of
the WELL and she rose to the surface
with the ease that a fishing cork bobs
around on the top of the water. It
took them two days to carry out the
scheme, and in the meantime 1 gave the
wichita telegraph operators nervous
prostration getting my stories off. -
The Tornado story.
But, after ALL" said the Telegraph
Editor, "of all that is great Kansas
affords the greatest-so they saw out
there. I can't really believe that this
one is better than all it's predeces-
sors.
zone day / was riding through the
northern part of Kansas on a bicycle
accompanied by a friend, also awheel
1t was beautiful day. The sun
shone radiantly from cloudless sHv
the broad fields of grain waved easily
Suddenly, from the clear sky, came
tornado-a Kansas tornado. Maybe
you don't know what they are. 1 do
Ugly clouds blotted the horizon. and
rose slowly to the zenith, and then
descended with dizzing rapidity to the
earth, then swept across ii with light
ming like rapidity.