Free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1888-1908, 1903-07-04

According to Whitelaw Reid, the
girl graduate of to-day would better
learn how to hit divorce in the solar
plexus than find Italy lying beyond the
Alps. Oracle Reid admits with entire
abandon that the rapids are below us
and below the rapids is barbed wire
fence loaded with javelins.
Real refinement, says Mr.. Reid, is
what the young women of this land
should SOW in the hot-beds of their
characters, rather than seeds to the
whirlwind of empty vanity and de-
sire to get their busts portrayed in a
society newspaper of a Sunday morn
ing Whitelaw comes down on the
vain, pomp and glory of this world"
like a hired man Shaping a holstein
heifer on the back with a wet board.
Much work must be done, he avows.
to rescue us from the eddying whirl-
pools of false gods and fuctuating
femininity. The girl graduate, with
woman's white hand, must awake and
| pluck US from the maelstrom of ma
tional error and boarding house hash
We need higher ideals, and incident
ally, a few more buttons on the back
band of our pantaloon seats; fewer
! divorces, fewer shingle nails and
! f1rmer allegiance to the old truism
''the foot that rocks the cradle rules
! the world" With $4,000 persons
divorced in this country in the last
I twenty years, and more bills for alb
solution of the marriage ties pending,
| the domestic statistics are getting so
muddled that no child, however, wise,
can tell it's own father. Mr. Reid is
! entirely right. The sweet girl gradu-
ate in her curl paper frizzes and
taffeta gown should desist in hitching
her automobile to the stars. The
boulevards to the ethereal skies are
already too crowded. What we need
| in this country is a woman who will
guarantee chastity. forhearance and
clean laundry Sundays, Wednesdays
and Fridays. homemade biscuits four
times a week and cooling disposition
that will take the kinks out of dys-
pepsia and make this world happy
| though married. Until then we are
sadly and irretrievably lost! Let US
hear from the ladies. Are they for
US or against us?
IS
A Wisconsin paper tells about the
birth of young son. They most al
ways come young that ar way"
Do not be inpatient One cannot
expect a sea serpent story this early
in the summer resort game.
Almost time to cut a watermelon
= = =
lis this hot enough for you?"
SSS
What has become of the old-fash-
ion DANES who having drunk their tea,
sat about the table telling fortunes
with the dregs? 1t seems an age
since last we met one of those lovable
old ladies whose glimpses into future
! life were ever through the playground
| horoscope. Round and round, in their
browning hands, they turned the cup,
| scanning with seeress eye the hero
glyphics there conglomerated Then
with what a wise face was the fortune
told, the life to come laid open like a
book! All, me. the woman of to-day
| pins not her faith 10 tea grounds.
| She is a mere scoffer at prognostica-
ton and. for the most part, she drinks
little tea If she tells your fortune at
all it is with the cards, and she laughs
as she chatters believing it mott How
we long for hobnob with an old
fashioned, tea-drinking. future-reading
grandmother! We have not bought
our next winters coal yet.
> > .
In Missouri an editor tells of the
marriage of James E Lake and Miss
Gertrude WelIs-''and the next day s.
rained."