West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-02-19

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some ARIZONA kIckLETS.
The paragraph going the rounds
to the effect that our mother-In law
died under suspicious circumstances
gets wobbly In the knees when we
state that we are still an old bachelor
and never had a mother n-law to
kill off.
We have not shot and wounded
three members of the Giveadam
Gulch common council within the
last year, as stated in a Denver
paper. We simply on one occasion
split Alderman Finnegan's ear with
bullet tn make him understand
that he was out of order.
The town of Lone Jack is 10
miles distant. That's the reason
that the editor of the Lone Jack
Recorder" can call us liar over
the telephone and get into the hills
before We can gallop over there.
The citizens of Grass Valley did
not attempt to lynch us one day
last summer, as stated in Santa
Fe paper with great show of COM
placency. On the contrary, on the
occasion referred to we were invited
by 80 different citizens to take
drink with them, and each and
every one of them subscribed to the
"Kicker."
We have not threatened the lives
of over 500 citizens in this territory
in the last FIVE years, as published
in San Francisco sheet. On the
contrary, our own life has been
threatened $50 times, and we have
had to do some lightning lodging
to save it.
We have not made threats to
shoot any man who had the nerve
to run against us as candidate for
the mayoralty of this burg, as an
nounced by several papers in Ia
diana. At each election for the
last six years there has been a rival
candidate, and il he was showed
under, il was because the electors
loved and trusted us.
We do not secure advertising for
the Kicker by calling upon business
men and displaying our guns, as
stated in Cincinnati paper OF
late date. II we carry our guns
with US when out on an advertising
tour, it is merely to protect our
selves in case the argument should
run into politics or religion.
The charge made against us in
an Omaha paper that we encouraged
dog fights on Sunday has not grain
OF truth to il. AS matter of fact,
we lead the church choir on Sunday
forenoon and assist in the Sunday
school afterwards, and we have no
time to be bad even il we wanted to.
1t is remarked in St. LOUIS pap.
er that the game of poker would
never have been known in this town
but for our efforts. We reply that
It was here and in full swing when
we arrived, and the only part we
have played in the matter has
been losing one. We have never
had an ace full that some one else
hadn't fours to beat US.
The statement Of Cleveland pa
per that we have shot down three
different horse editors connected
with the Kicker" would be malici-
cious il not so absurd. Each one
of the trio received his death miles
away from the Office and by the
hands of others, and in each case
we paid the funeral expenses and
expressed our grief to surviving re-
latives.
A newspaper in Columbus, o.