davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
THAT BIG GUN.

We have been very much interested in the accounts of the wonderful big gun recently placed by our Government at Sandy Hook, not so much for what we think 1t will do as for what is claimed for it. The gun, to start with, carries a solid shot weighing 2.40O pounds, and 1t is claimed that it will throw this immense ball distance of twenty-one miles. One enthusiastic editor declares that with a few of these coast protectors at the en- trance to our harbors a fleet of hostile war ships could do no harm" And he adds that one shot would sink ship, or if it should fall on a ship it would crush it into kindlings.
 That is all very nice, but it reminds us of some of the big things that were pre- dicted of the Great Eastern steamship when 1t was first launched. 1t was the biggest vessel ever built, but it was not half as big as the claims that were made for 1t, most of which were never realized. A shot from this great gun will do won ders, beyond doubt, should it hit any B, put we SuSpCNL hIisiI AtS IiAalll pSA formance will be knocking holes in the ocean. If the gun is planted near the level of the ocean the gunners cannot see a vessel twenty-one miles off. and if they see it We doubt if they hit moving ob- ject more than once a week at that dis tance It would be like shooting at a bat on the wing with rifle at a mile distance.
 Another enthusiast contends that 1t will be easy to fire one of those huge balls upward and have it fall on vessel and smash it all out of shape. That Is more absurd than the other proposition, and we will believo 1t Is possible when we see man throw baseball up into the air and have it fall on a jumping jack rabbit As 1t will cost the Government $1,O0O each time this big gun is fired, it will be seen that 1t will be a rather expensive plaything, and unless the gum ners can hit something besides old ocean there'n be more noise than profit.
 There Is another point of view which the advocates of this gun seem not to have considered. Other nations can make large pieces as well as ours can, and We see no reason why a hostile ship with one of them on board might not stop twenty-one miles out and knock our fort, gun and all, into a condition of innocuous desue- tude. The ship would have the advantage of firing at stationary target and could doubtless score more hits than our own could Besides, if it missed the fort it would stand a chance to drill hole in something else of importance. On tho whole, We are not betting on the success Of this gun.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08

Washington, Feb. 7.-(Special. .)-That the charming and accomplished Miss Ra- chel Martesne celebrated the one hun dred and second anniversary of her birth day at her home in Flatbush yesterday, is something more than a mere society announcement in today's New York news papers.
 We are informed in much detail that this belle of three generations was as happy and jolly as the rosiest-cheeked lassie of 16 who called to wish her many happy returns of the day. much as the fairest young debutante of fair Mont gomery might deport herself at her com ing out party in this blessed year of Grace.
 Of course all of us have known for a year or for twenty years, who Is or was the loyeliest debutante Montgomery ever had, though we have not always agreed as to her identity. No matter. She was the most beautiful creature that ever smiled when she was told she was the bright particular angel of the world and never had a doubt of the sincerity of the tribute. Every man in Montgomery knows her. you know.
 SWEET 1O2.
 But this fair flower of Flatbush fame, full of freedom at 102. calls for our spe- cial reverence, since if she had done as most debutantes have done in our brief sojourn as lovers upon the earth she might have long ago joined the endless caravan that Is marching to the silent realms of shade. But she preferred to re- ject the fierce fierceness of fierce fellows all these years, and so comes to have a birthday party at 1O2. Miss Rachel was positively giddy, it is averred All day long she received an uninterrupted throng of friends, and every one was welcomed with a glad handshake. each being asked the thoroughly womanly question: Do you think I look as old as I did on my last birthday?'
 To that pathetic question there was but n
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
AMAZING EARLY RISING.

One fact which is perhaps more amaz- ing than the age of this oldest ''old maid" in America is that she followed her daily custom of rising at a. m., saying she did not wish to miss seeting one of her visitors. for it was shortly after that hour that the school children began calling.
 Young women of society these days and girls not old enough to come out stay in bed as long as possible. They scorn early rising and take their breakfast in bed if breakfast they take at all.
 Amongst all the present radiant band of society young women in Alabama, con- fessedly the most beautiful in the whole world. there are perhaps not above seven who rise early. Even when crazy lovers call In the early afternoon they are most likely to be informed that the angels are not seeable. and your wise lovers know the beloved are washing their hair. Fancy angels washing their hair. And yet how many manly hearts have been broken by the hair-washing process. Alas. alas.
 Please don't come right now-I have just washed my hair,' Miss Dulcinea tel ephones to her brave Don QuiXote; and romance flies out the window.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
RIGHTS OF THEATRE PATRONS.

A gentleman always wants to becourte- ous to women, and will be, if possible. but sometimes it puts severe strain on him. and if a man forgets himself occasionally it is not to be wondered at. For exam pie, the other night at the theatre In New York man became so annoyed at the noisy talking and laughing of bevy of society women that he rose up in his seat and told them in pretty plain words to shut up."
 Of course we will be told that this was not a courteous thing for him to do, and we may admit it. We may go so far as to say that If their noise and move ments prevented him from seeing and hearing what was going on he should have changed his seat or retired from the building. That Is what many would have done. or they would have endured in si- lense, but by what right?
 Presumably the man had paid his money to see and hear the play or the music and he had a right to both sec and hear. Any person, man or woman, who deprived him of that right robbed him of some thing for which he had paid and to that extent did him an injury. just as if they had taken the money from his pocket. Courtesy to women comes natural to a gentleman, and they are expected to ex- ercise it. but is there not an obligation resting on the woman also? Has wo- man any more right to disturb or annoy others in public assembly than man has? If a man should become noisy and boisterous in a theatre the management would have him elected, but if women talk during the performance so that those around them cannot hear what is going on are they not as culpaoie as the boisterous man would be?
 There Is a matter of both personal and property rights involved In occupying a seat at the theatre. A mans personal rights are interfered with if others pre- vent his enjoyment of what is going on, and his property rights are invaded if he cannot enjoy the seat for which he has paid, and which is practically useless to him because of the misconduct of his neighbors In short, persons who annoy others during a performance by loud talking and laughing ,or by coming and going when 1t can be avoided. are guilty of discourtesy which they would doubt less resent in others.
 And so, while this New York man may have shown a want of deference to the women, there were palliating circum- stances. and it is encouraging to learn that the lesson was needed.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 8, 1908.
DOUBLE GOLDEN SYMBOL.

The American Newspaper Directory uses cer- tain signs to denote the relative standing and merit of the whole field of newspaperdom which comes under Its notice. and one of these signs is the mystic symbol LVl denoting ..golden." which stands for high quality. and as thus explained:
 "Advertisers value this paper more for the glass and quality of its circulation than for the mere number of copies printed"
 Such papers are credited with a single sym Dol; but there is a higher grade. according to this standard authority. which have BOTH QUALITY AND QUANTITY. and require the DOUBLE GOLDEN SYMBOL [ SS to describe adequately their standing.
 The Advertiser has been accorded this double golden symbol Svl and Is the oalS paper so distinguished in this section of the South.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08

Indians sometimes find way of reach- ing an end which is very annovinp to their white brethren. and a recent exam pie is reported by The Muskogee G Tl Times in connection with the allotment of lards by the Dawes Indian Commission We are told that q few days ago "soma fullbloods came in and went to Chief Por- ter's office to see about their deeds The deeds were there all right. signed and ready for delivery, but the Indians TO fused to take them. They said no lc. them stay. We do not want them. VI. might loose them; and they refused fin accept the deeds. Now, according to tho rules of the department, the land cannor be sold or leases be approved until the deed is delivered. And the Indians won't take the deeds"
 That blocks the game. for the tune be- ing, at all events. There is apparently no law or regulation under which the In- dians can be forced to take the deeds and until they are delivered and accepted nothing can be done. Doubtless the off, cials will find a way out of the tangle but at present the Indian seems to have the best of it.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
BLASPHEMY.

, year or tN . go the North American Review publis. an outrageous skit of this chief of mJuntebanks refecting on the story of the creation of man, and now this same publication, which in it's old age has come to be almost as silly as the chief of the tribe of ribald testers, gives to the world an attack made by the head fool against that arch-humbug, Mary Baker Eddy. ''spiritualist."
 In this outpouring of sewage, Mark Twain places himself forward a thous- and years and deals with the doings of Pope Mary G. Eddy, LXIX," the present old woman humbug in Massachusetts be- ing, of course, Pope Mary Baker Eddy l." And along this line he deals with the wonderful deeds of the Baker woman in her capacity of ''Viceroy of God" d phrase clearly meant to cast blasphemous reflection upon the Catholic Church, which he attacks as the oldest, most numer- ous and most powerful branch of Chris tianity.
 The purpose of the wretched old man is to assail the entire Christian world. And yet the new old North American Review ''under the new management the editorship of a person known as 'Col- onel" Harvey, who has made dear old Harpers Weekly yellow, "-lends itself to Mark Twains potboiling new-old scheme of ridiculing the Christian re- Hgion.
 If ever the boycott was justifable. Christians of all denominations should unite in boycotting the North American Review, and in doing so take a little sfde-swipe at other Harper" publica- tons.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
MOBILE IN STORY.

A serial story, or rather a love story printed serialIy, called The Southern CTS" is appearing in The Washington Star, and perhaps other newspapers, in which Mobile and Mobilians take a lead ing part-'Mobile, our own Gulf City and pride of Alabama" as the late Dr. Sum- ner ok Mari.:., Ala, the famous Baptist preacher, used to refer to that historic town In the last instalment of the story we have ths:u
 High noon and high tide on the Shell Road. The gray roan following the curves of the shore was untenantc1 at the mo- ment save by three persons on horse Lack.
 Although he was sailor Boyd Peyton rode with the ease of a Southern cava- Ter long accustom ad to the saddle. His companion was good match for him. She wore a close-fittlag riding habit of navy blue, little stiff hat to match It, with a gray veil dropping behind it, and gray gauntlets. She had exchanged her ankle ties for dainty little boots, and as he had mounted her upon her horse he had not failed to notice her small high arched instep, the hall mark of the high bred Southern woman, which she had to perfection. The force of the breeze, accentuated by their quick motion, had added a deeper color to the richness of her brown cheeks The wind blew her hair hither and thither as they galloped along. She laughed aloud sometimes in very needless joy in life. She was so young ana uappy. Jerry, the negro groom in the Amman livery. who rode some dist ance behind them, if he thought of them at all, would have called them hand some pair.
 "Peyton had spent he entire morning at the Annans', renewing his acquaint ance with the judge. After luncheon he had begged Mary to ride with him on the Shell Road, then, as now, the driv- ing and riding resort of fashionable Mo- bile. It was yet so early in the after noon. however. that they had the road to themselves.'
 or course 1t is a civil war story.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
ANOTHER NEW FUEL.

In speaking q day or two ago on the subject of fuel We inadvertently failed to mention one of the latest substitutes to which our attention mas been called, and that is water. Of course We know, with out being told, that water puts out fire, and that nothing else can be expected of it, but that is because some folks fail to understand the possibilities of modern re- search and invention. A few years ago we didn't know anything about microbes, hardly. Perhaps We don't know an about them yet, but they are real facts, all the same.
 But about fuel from water, which is the nian, whose name We do not now recall. He reasons that as certain gases are found in water, then all that is necessary is to squeeze or strain those gases out of the water and you have fuel. Simple is 1t not? His process is d secret vet but he is apparently as sure of manufac- turing fuel from water as Bell is of mak- ing successful flying machine.
 It Is hardly necessary to say that this will be great blessing-when 1t comes. There are times when We have more wa ter than we have any use for and if We could turn part of it into fuel and store it away for future emergencies it would relieve the strain very. much. When the time arrives that we can get fuel from the seas and oceans, as we now get salt, A..sI., AN.f,
 will be independent of miners as weIl as goal barons. The inventor will please hur- ry up his scheme.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
Where Birds Fly.

Interesting facts as to flight of birds have resulted from long series of ob- serNations, whose general results have recently been published. An eagle was observed by Hcrgessell, of Strasburg. to fly at a height of 9,0JO feet. A lark was detected at an altitude of 900 feet Aero nauts have encountered crows as high as 100 feet from the earth. These, how ever, are exceptional attitudes for birds to attain. As rule, 1900 feet seems to he the limit, The German OrnitholoricaI Society has been conducting experiments with pigeons. and finds that when liner ated at a height of 9,00s feet down 10 as little as 2.7O0 feet they drop rapidly to a much lower region Of the atlnos9Ssre.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
Enforce All Laws.

Edltor The AdVeruser:
 From some of the articles that have recently appeared in your columns 1t would seem that the quality most in re- Quisition for an acceptable Mayor is that he should be a sort of special Sunday officer to enforce Sunday laws. Now I'm heartily in favor of enforcing laws, but can see no logical reason why they should be enforced on Sunday more stringently than on any other day. l would not have it appear that 1 sanction the desecration of the day that man has set apart for rest I simply wish to ite- rate that l regard the position of Mayor of Montgomery. not as a Sunday spe- cial.' but as an executive officer whose solemn duty 1t Is at all times to see that the laws are enforced, to guard inviolate the rights of all citizens and to advance the city's progress by rational, right and reciprocal regulations.
 Tax Payer
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
THE LADY AND THE coURr

There was a pleasing scene in the su- preme Court of the United States the other day, when the First Lady of the Land looked for the first time upon that august tribunal, before which even her husband Is as a mere ditcher or a swine butcher, or other man of lowly station.
 Mrs. Roosevelt, most amiable and most smilingly gracious of good women, ac- companied by a party of friends, mostly women, and attended hy White House functionaries entered the chamber of the court, formerly the chamber of the Sen ate, shortly before the court sat, and she and her party were shown to seats outside the bar which none but attor- neys before the Court may pass.
 In a moment the master of ceremonies. an Assistant Attorney General of the United States, arose. and rapping on "The Bench'' at which the creat men sit he announced in quaint old English form and with a singsonG information of voice 'The Homo able Chief Justice and Asso- cate Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States"
 Instantly Mrs. Roosevelt and everyone else arose, and remained standing until the master of ceremonies had concluded his ancient phrases ending with God Bless the United States and this Hon. orable Court"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
WISH FOR LONGEVITY.

It is a curious development of human impulses. the desire for longevity, and the pride in it when it is attained.
 Now this oldest of Americas spinsters, she of F'latbush, is as proud of her hun dred and two years as the sweetest little creature in all Montgomery is of her own sweet sixteen" Most of men and women feel before reaching the top of the hill and turning the sunset way that they would not care to be spared for the aches and Inevitable loneliness of ad- vanced old age. Yet as the shadows lengthen on the declivity, the sun going down and down, seemingly ever faster and faster, these same men and women long more and more that the last hour be postponed further and further in a perpetual gloaming.
 Yet for the pure of heart and pious, death is the one gateway to true joy. Still there are many amongst us who are relatively happy as the worlds hap piness goes, many whose main concern and prayer Is that the end come not sud denly. lest some man of God be not there to give holy passport to the other side. And these are happiest of all the chill dren of men,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
OLD MAID AND KIDS,

Miss Rachel Martense enjoyed most of all on her 102nd birthday the throngs of school children who crowded her joy lighted home. They seemed in imagina- tion to renew her youth, since there was none in fact to do that, she having pre- ferred to remain single.
 What tragedy of love may be behind rude to enquire. but that there was 4 time in the blushing of young maiden hood when her heart pointed the rosy way to the altar there need not be any reasonable doslbt
 Nor is there any doubt amongst good men and women that many of those whom the world calls ''old maids" and who are of the real angelhood of human life, are amongst the bravest, tenderest. sweet est, most long-suffering and most nobly righteous of mankind. They choose their way and steadfastly maintain it, refusing desirable offers of marriage. and in count less instances lead the life of earthly saints.
 He is not man. she Is not woman, who does not uncover to the old maids in honest reverence.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
New.r an0 Gossip Qf Washington.
BY LUCIEN JULIEN WALKER.

have been a sightseer from Toadvine, Ala, a bride from Burnt Corn, or mere tourist from Ft. Deposit. for all the court knew or gave sign of interest. For this reason perhaps Mrs. Roosevelt en- joyed 1t all the more. She was exquis- itely clad in a dark gray velvet dress of great richness and beauty-she always dresses most exquidtely-and she really looked as happy as schoolgirl on a holiday. One was about to say, she look cd as happy as one of the countless thousands of brides one sees in Wash iugton in the course of the Congressional season, but the comparison would not be fair for of these immense multitudes of bridal couples every couple gives one the impression that they are most miserably uncomfortable. One recalls but one not able exception to this rule of apparent misery suffered by the bridegrooms and the brides. In this instance the bride was the most superlatively-bu that is an- other story,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08

It is said that Senator Quay is really behind the bill which his Governor, Pen nypacker. wants the Pennsylvania Legis- lature to enact to prohibit newspapers from printing offensive cartoons of pub lie men. No doubt this practice is car ried too far by some papers, but what of the proposed law? If a newspaper can be prohibited from printing an of fensive picture may 1t not also be pro- hibited from printing criticisms which a public man may consider offensive? If that is admitted the freedom of the press will be only a memory in Pennsylvania. Legislatures in that State have been gen. orally very subservient to Quay, but this would pass the limit. one would think.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
Eczema and all diseases. off the skin cured.

Eczema, Erysipelas, Itching Piles, Tetter, Barber's Itch, Salt Rheum, Ring Worm and all diseases of the skin have positively been cured by the astonishingly effective. new Q. D. D. prescription.
 If you have any affection of the skin you want to be rid of it. Don't think because you have failed to be cured by the countless blood remedies and skin prepara- tions you have taken that you can- not be cured. The makers of these remedies have simply failed to understand the nature of skin di- seases. They have worked on the theory that skin diseases are due to poisoned blood, when in reality all skin diseases are but the mani. issiatlon of the activity of a living foreign parasite, which can bs quickly and easily cleared away.
 Results count. We have made thousands of wretched people happy by clearing up their skins, once and for all, of disgusting irritating diseases.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08
See what a citizen of your
 own section saws;

For over six years l suffered terribly with a burning, itching Eczema, covering my hands wrists and entire face. I wosd rather die than pass through the suffering and torture that underwent. I in such a condition that I could not read. write sleepy my hands and eyes swollen and pa nful I was totally incapacitated for any busihess I spent hundreds of dollars with doctors and skin specialists. anointments and blood medi- cines. I tried every Eczema salve and remedy ever heard of with no marked improvement Was discoura ged and lacked faith in doctors and all remedies. A friend. Captain l. T. Cowen adv sed me to try D.D.D. Eczema Rem edy. did so, and a Specific for the cure of Chronic Tczema, it certainly proved 8 won der. The first application stopped the itching and burning; the second improved me so that I could sleep and rest comfortably. which I had not done for long time. After using it for thirty forty days. the Eczema entirely disappeared. the swelling and redness went away, and my skin assumed it's normal white condition. It Is now three years since I was cured and there are signs of its returning
 L. M. SWAFFORD, Vlcksburg, Miss.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-02-08

There are few things that an editor is not supposed to know. Any subject, from raising ducks to predicting the weather is supposed tn be nuts to him. Here's an old farmer in Nebraska. for example, asks country editor if "a man can earn q million dollars honestly?" and doubt less expects d reply which will set all doubts at rest. Now, it is doubtful if that editor ever earned million dollars in his life, and if he hasn't of course he