Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1903-02-07
wEArHERWIsE.

WEATHERWISE
1t was nice bright Sunday morn
ing. Mr.. Ground-chuch Wood-hog
stepped out upon his piazza to give
himself an airing and, incidentally,
to make few remarks to himself
about the weather then prevailing
and the probability of a change. AS
he waddled out into the dazzling sun
light his little optics blinked and bat
ted in the sudden brightness but as
soon as he had become accustomed to
it he sat down upon his doorstep and
fell to musing about the tickle freak
iShHesS of the Kansas winter climate.
'-Well' said he ''here it is the Sec
ond day of February and it is really
warmer out of doors than it is inside.
A very pleasant morning indeed!
Fine winter we are having. What a
glorious Italian climate it is! There's
a green fly buZZing in my window as
sure as I'm a rodent l can almost
imagine there is an OdOr of wild roses
in the air but these things don't fool
me any. There'll be another day.
Every hog has his day you KNOW" and
then he chuckeled to himself over his
little joke. He simply ''chuckled''
because that is his way and it was to
himself because there was no one
around to hear him, the rest of his
family being content to lie abed in
the basement.
"WhaJ fools these mOrtals be-" he
continued. ..There goes young fell
low with spick and span livery rig.
That fellow doesn't earn two dollars
over and above his board in two weeks
and vet he pays at least cent min
ute for that TURNOUT, just to give his
girl a little spin around town and
show her the beautiful barns and other
buildings she has seen every day of
her life of sixteen long years. It's
the oldest assorted couple Eve ever
seen. He's a long, slim gangle-shank-
ed critter, two feet taller than the
| little dumpy girl beside him."
Mr.. Woodhog's build, as everybody
knows, is quite symmetrical while
his wife is tall, portly and well pro-
pOrtiOned.
''There goes two couples in surrey.
They are out giving their huckle-bid
dies nice little drive this pleasant
| afternoon; all honey and molasses taffy
but you just wait: There's going to
be a spell of weather or something, If
I'm not freed. 1 haven't been watch
ing these things for these three or four
hours for nothing. Within three days
those young folks will all be going
kersneeze, kerchoose and the girls
will be saying: i never lad sudge a
code in my lyve.' They will be TAX
ing onion syrup and you couldn't get
one of Them near her 'onliest only
then. Heyho. that's the way it was
when / was young and hadn't learned
to take advantage of signs"
Just then he caught sight of Uncle
Sans fair weather flag dropping from
the pole or Tapping gently on the
balmy breeze. The limpid, lanquid
zephyr only seemed to stir him up and
then he said: ''That thing gives me
a pain. Those government guessers
don't know any more about the wealth
er than old Hicks. They never hit it
except when they have two or three
| two-thirds OF the time. Why don't
they get pointer from me and go by
the contraries? It's the only safe rule
out here in Kanaas. Well, its getting
late. I think Eli retire and see how
things look in the morning"
That was the morning and the eve
ming Of the first day of the week. The
next day was Monday. Tt generally
isl The sun came up bright and
sparkling. as usual. So did Mr.. Wood
hog. That is he came out upon his
lawn as he usually does on the secono
day OF the second calendar month and
he was as bright as common although
he didn't just exact sparkle. He staid
out all dav in the sunshine. Along in
the afternoon the wind veered around
to the east and became quite chilly.
Mr.. WOod-hog noticed it. He winked
his weather eye and said II told you
So" About sun down he began to
make preparations for an extended
period of hibernation. You see the
evening shadows had begun to gather.
That Was his cue he had been watt
ing for it SO he hiked for his hole with
sort of root grounding oE die" de-
termination By ii p m. the storm
was on in dead earnest and when
morning dawned the portal of his
domicile was deeply hidden beneath
the drifts of the beautiful. beauti-
| fui snow"