davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
Twisted Proverbs.
FROM MARY MAcLANE's NEW BOOK.

'"where does charity begin?'' said /.
"Betvixt the cup and the lip" said my friend
Annabel Lee.
''What does many a mickIe maker said l.
"A multitude of sins,' said my friend Anna
bel Lee
..what do too many cooks spoiig' said l.
''Us ALL" said my friend Annabel Lee.
''Whom does conscience make towards of?''
said l.
'.Dead men and FOOLS" said my friend Anna
bel Lee
'rwhat is it that has no turniry?'' said I.
"a full stomach" said my friend Annabel
Lee.
.'what does money make?'' said l.
''An i'll wind said my friend Annabel Lee.
'.Where is there many a sIipg" said l.
''where angels fear TO tread" said my friend
Annabel Lee.
What's sharper than a serpent's toOth?''
..The pen," said my friend Annabel Lee
''What makes the mare goT' said I.
"A fool and his money" said my friend An
Mabel Lee.
What should they do who live in glass
houses2' said I.
Draw down the blinds" said nay friend An
mabel Lee.
whats bird in the hand wor,h?' said I.
Les.
"whae does a stitch in time save2'' said l.
1.-TWO in the bush,'' said my friend Annabel
Lee.
''vhat can you make out of pigs ears''
said /.
"A gift horse" said my friend Annabel I.ze.
whats the wind tempered to-" said l.
1.-The camel's back" said my friend Annahel
lee.
whats better to do than to break?'' said I.
''Rob Peter" said my friend Annabel Lee.
'.what will the pounds do if you take care
OF the pence?'' said !.
Come home TO roost,'' said my friend Anna
bel Lee.
whats mans castle?' said I.
''The devils workshop" said my friend An.
mabel Lee.
''What may a cat look at?'' said l.
The broth" said my friend AnnabeI Lee
whats mightier than the sword2' said l.
"A rich man." said my friend Annabel Lee
''What should you never look in the mouth %
said /.
"A silk purse said my friend Annabel Lee.
whats half leaf better thanG'' said |.
Chickens before they are hatched," said ny
friend Annabel Lee.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
The Drift of Public Opinion.

St. Louis star: Jerry simpson now owns cat
tie and consequently he did not attend the re-
cent Populist oonclave az Denver
Buffalo Express: Kerens. Of Missouri, wanting
N show the people. tells that Mr. Cleveland
couldn't be escctcd, even il nominated. because
Of the anti -third-tern sentiment and because he
has antaconized the labor element. And there
is that little flag hauling in Hawaii that isn't
10 be overlooked
New York sun: 4 Turkish courier with 10000
francs has been captured by the insurgents.
The outbreak is evidently becoming serious.
Chicago Journal: As Mr.. GATES wins back his
health the other fellows stand to lose back tieir
cash.
Philadelphia Inquirer; Were not Secr9zry
Corteiyou and Senator Depew somewhat on ot
place at that New York fashion show last
night? What do they know about the Atest
Paris creations?
Hartford Courant The promotion OF luke
Wright 10 the goveTnorship of the Philippines
pleases the Southern newspapers. The leling
Democratic journal of his own city says hat
Memphis is proud Of him
The Washington times., 1903-09-01

''when I was fishing in the Arkansas Bayou. -
said the Rev Dr. j. r. Howerton, 81 saw a
fish which was so game and bold that he
jumped up in the air and bit off two feet Of
my fishing line
''When Dr. Woods, an eminent divine, was
fishing somewhere OF other said the Rev. Dr.
John ". Stagg ''he tried to pass his wife 5
spectacles 10 her across 4 small stream by fast
ening the glasses 10 the end of his fishing line.
An immense fish jumped out Of the water and
was caught by the rims Of the spectacles.
When he was drawn out of the water the
spectacles were pulled across his face and he
was gazing reproachfully through Mrs. Woods
spectacles."
''When l was down in Mississippi" said
Gen. r. \. Lee, Il struck lot Of fish that
were so sporty that all you had 10 do vas TO
rock boat and they would jump into it and
catch themselves"
'Tn the Pigeon River, in this State said DR..
Howerton, with grim determination writ on his
face, "a fishing, and he used as a
sinker a big bullet that came from RevoIu-
tionary battlefield. large fish caught hold of
his hook and pulled so hard that when the
hook came out Of his gills the bullet few
back and fractured the mans SKULL
Yes; that's so,'' said w L. Long. And the
men who live close TO that same river catch
fish in the most modern way. They no longer
use a hook and line, but they lie down by
the side Of the stream with rifles in their
hands, and when the fish-big. fierce, fine fish
they are-jumP into the air they shoot 'em with
a rife l call that fishing some"
Il pass" said Col Jeens Hovie, with a
sigh-Charlotte N. c. Observer.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01

Mary Anderson Navarro, "our Mary,
Is reported to have accepted an en-
gagement 10 come to this country AM
give one hundred readings. With what
open arms we will receive this good
woman. who Illuminated our stage while
she was on it not merely with the white
light of great genius. but of pure per-
sonality. 1t is 10 be hoped the news is
not too good to be true.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
Arrested in Surrey.

Sir John was arrested at his place in
Surrey. Driven 10 the station, he ar
rived there just as the London train
was leaving. The detectives thrust him
into a frst-class carriage and were
about TO follow when the railroad por-
ters, thinking that two rough fellows
were intruding upon their local mag
nate, pulled them back and held them
until the train had gone Sir John was
recaptured some ten days later and sen
fenced by Baron Anderson TO fourteen
years transportation with hard labor
He survived his punishment and died in
1868 in Italy. His only son died in India
without issue. and the baronetcy there
upon passed with the estates to his dis
tant cousin, Edward Paul. the father OF
the present baronet.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

1t is funny how so many grass widows have
hair the color OF hay,
Women are so queer they will marry a man
il would make them shudder 10 have their
sister like.
The pride that woman gets out Of her son
being a coward is that ne is not so likely to
go into danger.
A woman's idea of riches is being able TO put
s. bill the collection plate when the
woman she hates is looking.
When woman Gets through worrying over
whether the cellar is damp she begins on
whether the children might not catch malaria
from the cellar next door.-New York Press
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
When Lucy Goes to Church.

She sees what all the women wear.
When Lucy goes 10 church.
She learns how each has fixed her hair,
When Lucy goes 20 church.
she notes the fact II Toms with Sue,
She sees exactly what they DO,
And yet she hears the service through.
When Lucy goes 10 church.
She sees each one who steals a doze,
When Lucy goes 10 church,
Each laugh she hear5-each blow Of nose,
When Lucy goes 10 church,
There's method in her manner, meek,
She gains foundation, 50 10 speak
To keep her talking all the week,
When Lucy goes 10 church.
Kansas City Star.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
Before House of Lords.


The younger brother of the third Mar
quis OF Townshend, Lord Charles Towns
bend. realizing the condition of affairs
arising from the peculiar legal status
of the children Of Lady Townshend and
Mr.. Margetts, and fearing that he
might be deprived thereby from the sue
cession to his elder brothers marquisate
and estates. brought the matter before
the house of lords. asking that an act
OF parliament be passed declaring the
children of Lady Townshend and Mr..
Margetts illegitimate.
This was done. and the statute known
in English parliamentary history as the
.'Townshend act" was passed by a large
majority. The member of the house OF
commons for Bodmin. until then known
as the Earl of Leicester" bowed TO
the decision, dropped his courtesy title
and took his mothers maiden name of
Dunn Gardner. dying as high sheriff OF
Cambridgeshire. The third marquis did
not die until December, 1855. surviving
his younger brother. Lord Charles
Townshend. and his peerage and estates
thereupon descended 10 his nephew.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
Ghazele.

Shade not the light within thine eyes,
The wondrous light within thine eyes;
The sun Is all too fierce 10, hold
Light such As that within thine eyes
Yet is the passion Of his warmth
Less deep than that within thine eyes;
The Moon is all too cold TO wear
Light such as that within thine eveS-
Yet is her fame less silver clear
Than that which glows within thine eyes
Thou art my Heaven; my Sun and Moon
Are the mere light within thine eyes;
Nature that gave the world those orbs,
Gave me the light within thine eyes;
|, and | only. can repose
Within the light within thine eyes;
o Leila, what would be my gloom
without the light within thine eyesi
-R IL MilneS
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
Turkey and the United States.
Some Elements of Humor in the Present
Situation.

Chel1ib Bey renews the assurances
of his most distinguished considera-
tion and assures us that the Comman-
der of the Faithful is meaning no
harm" For this, much thanks. Our
consuls may be shot at, but it viii be
their fault, of course, if any disagree
able results should follow any foolish
attempts on their part to stop bullets.
The situation is distinctly humorous
In the meantime we may remark
that the unspeakable Turk doesn't by
any means monopolize the elements OF
humor in the situation. We have, We
think, leadpipe cinch on that our
selves. Mr.. Leishman has not vouch-
safed an explanation as to how it all
happened, and as to how Mr.. Magels-
sen refused at the last moment to stay
killed. It's all right, we suppose, to
be quick on the trigger, but it has It's
"a e'"OoNh0f ioO' IL VIC diS 4iOC SlSAI
ly mistaken, our State Department
not many years ago announced Off
cially to the world the death of John
Sherman in Porto Rico, when that
great statesman insisted upon turning
up in Cuba a few days later rather
hale and hearty for corpse. 1t would
add to the gayety of the situation, ne
doubt, were Mr.. Leishman to reply tC
the request by the Secretary for al
fYOlauation hv a TN ouO01e-
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
Roots Greatness.

The Army and Navy Journal" pro-
nounces Mr.. Root one of our few really
great War Secretaries-a man in tha
Knox and stanton class. He has shown
NOT only administrative skill but con-
structive craftsmanship. In him, we
are told, 1.-The army has had steadfast
and broad minded friend whose influence
has been invariably exerted in behalf d
its highest interests, and he will bear
with him into private life the sincere re-
gard of the officers and men Of the ser
vice ."
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
His Auspicious Beginning.

ITO crafty the curiosity Of the public, Mr..
Dollaraline. purred the Young person with the
will you please tell me If the first
contribution you ever sent to a magazine was
aceep;ad?"
The literary celebrity smiled genially.
81 am happy 10 say il was" he answered.
"What was it, may | ask?''
'Four dollars for a years subscription. -
Chicago TTtbune.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
The Land Butchers Again.

To the Editor Of The Washington Times:
Your structures upon the unsavory land sharks
who have destroyed the beauty and usefulness
Of suburban Washington are eminently true and
just.
All avenues in the District are closed against
the poor-nor may they even hope 70 obtain
agreeable homes here. But why should they
not seek new opportunity in nearby Virginia
r. II. KIRK.
Washington Aug 30
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
Daily Calendar of American History.
September I.

1S14-Sloop of war Wasp sunk the
British sloop Avon. British Gen
eral Provost crossed the Canadian
border toward Plattsburg, n. Y,
with 1000 veteran troops.
1S15-Treaty made with eight Of the
Indian tribes.
1S61-General Grant assumed command
OF southeastern Missouri
1s52-Battle Of Chantilly, Va. (Pope's
Virginia campaign.)
1s64-Battle of Jonesboro. Ga. Georgia
campaign.)
1S7s-Repeal OF bankrupt laws of 1861
and 1874.
1SS4-Gen. N P. Banks, born 1916. died
at Waltham, Mass Samuel J.
Kirkwood, ex-senator, ex-Secre-
tary OF Interior, war governor OF
Iowa. died at Des Moines.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
Double Pleasure.

Wife, wish we had a nice large country
place where ! could give lawn party
Husbard-Just for the pleasure Of inviting
some Of your friends, eh2
Wife-Wcl, yes; and the pleasure of not in
viting some.-Phindelphia Ledger.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01

II the ducking stool for common
scoIds were still in use we know some
folks who wouldn't have dry stitch 10
their name Stop finding fault. 1t IS
not sweet or wholesome.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01

Perhaps it is unnecessary to remark
that the Postoffice is not the only De-
partment whose personnel should con-
sist of men of the right stamp.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
Nautical Jane.

what time did that young man leave last
night, Jane?
About II o'clock, papa"
TT seemed later than that"
'It might have been a little later, but it
wasn't his fault. You see / gave him a liberal
time allowance. ~ Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
Evidently Well Fixed.

Farmer Greene-OP Bill jenkins must hev
money enough tew retire an live comfortable.
Farmer Brown-That's right. No man would
work eighteen hours a day an live on butter
milk an pertaters. like Bill does, unless he had
tn dough. Judge.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01

Mr.. Bryan's remarks have become so
cutting of late that a razorSack hog
would be an appropriate addition to his
domestic ZOO
The Washington times., 1903-09-01

When left out of doors. Langley's air
ship is protected by canvas. That is 10
say. the experiments are still tentative.
as II were.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
Absolute Proof.

Madge-Why does she at last own up that
they in lover
MarioTic-She had 70. They sat on the sand
yesterday and never noticed the tide coming in
until they were drenched.- Smart Set
The Washington times., 1903-09-01

Perhaps we will some day know
whether the elements are envious OF the
aerodrome or merely hold it in con-
tempt.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01

Breathitt county can retire TO the
dressing-room and take rest while the
European squadron does its stunt.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
In a Lighter Vein.
From Cupid.

When lights burn dim and the words come low
In a whisper sweet and strange.
'Tis plain 70 see tlat the twain have bought
seat on the Heart Exchange.
New York Sun.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
Strictly Nautical.

''What will the cup seekers be that follow
Shamrock HIP
They'll be IVand-afters, Of course
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washington times., 1903-09-01
when | Went Fishing.

Washington, Aug. 30.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-10-13
Iaterenting New. Items.

Cholera is reported to be raging fierce
ly at Birejik, Syria.
According to returns Kansas has $780,
800 dogs and 190,533 sheep.
The frozen body of man named Ker-
XIV was found near his home close to
Misrot. n D..
The Elgin Board of Trade has voted
$4,000 for the illinois dairy exhibit at
the St. g1ouis worlds fair.
Gen. Ian Hamilton of the British. army
is soon to visit this country as the guest
of army officers.
St. Louis grain men have been having
freight blockade troubles and have taken
steps to remedy The evil.
The California State Board of Agricul-
ture has increased the assessment of San
Francisco $11s,213,6TG, making it now
$545. S55.324-
The annual report Of the commissioner
of patents shows total Of %. 22J3 patents
and >. 1874 trademarks issued during the
year
The Comptroller Of the Currency has
authorized the Farmers National Bank
Of Burlington. Kan. to begin business
with capital Of $4,000.
Rear Admiral Francis A Cook, who
commanded the Brooklyn at Santiago,
has been retired after forty ysars' SER
vice. on his own application
Mrs. Eliza Gil, aged Sc gears, died
IN Golden City. Mo. Mrs. GIL and fam
iIy located near The present site Of Gold
en- City in the Writer Of 1872.
A special from Ardmore, I. T., says:
An engine and fourteen gravel cars went
e,rourh a bridge near Hago, on the Ar
kansas and Choctaw road, killing four Of
fh< crew-'
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-10-13
Internationally Report.

Special kilograms TO the international
Mercantile Agency regarding more ina
portant trade features are summarized as
follows:
Some concern has been felt lest the
wage reduction movement begun by pig
iron makers and in the building trades at
st. Louis and elsewhere may extend 20
other lines. Merchants in staple lines
have begun to cut down orders some
what. At st. Paul and tributary terri
tory jobbing demand is less than expect
ed. and it is thought collections may DE
delayed thirty days, although spring
wheat thrashing prospects are rather
more favorable than last week. Country
merchants throughout the Northwest are
beginning to hold off little.
1t is now clear that there will h. Il
2,00O, 900, 000Ibushel crop of corn, ana
that wheat will be above an average
This is already reflected in a better move
ment, export purchases, better supply
of commercial bills and a drop In foreign
exchange. Cotton receipts are far be-
hind last year. The southern California
bean crop is placed at 100000 sacks
$4,000 more than last year.
Demands for funds for legitimate bust
ness are very heavy. Banks are having
ali they can do TO meet requirements.
Municipal security market is feeling the
tension. and less is doing there The
apple crop is very large, but the potato
crop is a failure.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-10-13
Notes of Current Events.

A 100000 independent theater is to
be erected in indianapolis.
A contract for a $50, 900 high school in
Junction City, Kan, has been let.
The Missouri University Boarding
Club will furnish board to the students
this year at $3.50 a week.
Peter Lenousky of Wilkesbarre was
hanged in the county Jail for the murder
of Anthony Sennick, companion mine
worker, who was known to have saved
money.
Ii Congress appropriates al the money
Secretary Moody estimates the navy will
need the national naval expense account
for the fiscal year of 1904-05 will be
more than $1O0,O00,000.
Secretary Wilson has refused to allow
a monster steer from Pawnee County,
o. T., to cross the quarantine line for
exhibition purposes. He says it would
be dangerous precedent.
The ordinance under which the Prohi-
bition city officials of Concordia, Kan,
have tried to close the joints there have
been declared unconstitutional by Judge
Alexander of the District Court
L ms ulituC
a statement to the effect that fourth
class postmasters have no legal tenure
of ONCE and may be removed at any
tine for fracture of the rules of the de-
partment-
Annie R. Sharpley, who caused the
postofice authorities much trouble
through raising figures on postal money
orders in mary cities, has been sentenc-
ed 70 the eastern Pennsylvania peniten-
uary for two years.
DIR. L. NJ. Willard Of LOOMS. Wash,
was found dead in bed. A bottle Of
chloroform in his left hand indicated
suicide. believed 20 have been induced by
fears of going olind.
Fifty-six fremen were overcome by
smoke and noxious fumes in a FIRE which
twice attacked the drng store OF c. d.
BADGER & Co. of Boston. The total loss
approximates $4,000. partly insured
John Bruce Mcpherson Of Gettysburg,
Pa. was elected secretary Of the Ma
tional Association of Wool Manufactur-
ers. in session at Boston, to succeed s.
n. ID. NJrth, who resigned 10 accept the
appointment as labor commissioner By
President Roosevelt
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-10-13
Rrief Neua Itema.

Muskogee. l. T., is to have a new
$4,000 hotel and theater combined.
The collection of the collateral inner
itance tax in Missouri since the first of
the year has been S75,0T409.
Motorman Jacob Kreidler Of Cincin-
natl was fatally injured by collision Of
his electric car with lumber wagon.
Henry Steers, formerly president of
the Eleventh Ward Bank of New York,
was drowned at Westport HarbOr, Mass,
while fishing.
Frank Hammond of Topeka, Kan,
and general foreman Of the iron bridge
works of the Santa Fe road, was killed
by fall at Elk Falls, Kan.
Harmon d. Wilson, for several years
past the Kansas Notes" man Of the
Topeka Capital, and one Of the best
known newspaper men in Kansas, died
at his home in Topeka of typhoid fever.
o. P. Dexter Of Norwalk, Conn. a
man Of wealth. vas shot and killed
while riding along the road near Santa
Clara, y. Y. No clue as 70 his slayer
has been obtained. but II Is believed he
was killed by poachers.
Gov. Beckham Of Kentucky has issued
a call for a special election Nov. 10 70
elect a successor 10 Vincent Boredng,
Congressman from the Eleventh District.
who died a few weeks ago. This Is the
date of the State election
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-10-13

sometimes merely because of their unpop-
ularity or the prejudice of their neigh
bors against thenA but rarely, if ever,
has this happened in legal executions.
The crime which these three brothers
committed was deliberately planned and
coolly and cruelty carried out. They had
always been wayward and dissipated,
and had many times been connected with
petty crimes. They had grudge against
this uncle, who had done much to help
them when in trouble, because of some
money matters, so they got together and
planned his murder, attacked him in his
home, all of them emptying their revolv-
ers into him, and afterwards even boast
ing of the murder and their accurate
craftsmanship. The crime was proved
beyond any doubt, and it was shown to
have been peculiarly atrocious. Not an
extenuating circumstance was found eth
er in the trial or on the appeal.
The Court of Appeals affirmed the
judgment of the court below. The de-
tense appealed to Gov Odell for Glenn
ency, but it was denied, although he
granted two respites.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-10-13
PRESIDENT ESCAPES ASSASSIN.

Crazy Anarchist Attempts to Force
Way Past White House Guards.
President Roosevelt Monday narrowly
had narrow escape from death at the
hands of a crazy anarchist who is now
locked up in the government insane asy-
lum. Only after a desperate struggle
was the man, who gave his name as Pc
ter Elliott and his home as Minneapolis,
overpowered by the police and removed
from the White House.
He had come from Minneapolis to
''take control of the government, and it
is believed he had planned to assassinate
the President Sunday morning on his
way home from church. Elliott occupied
a seat in the gallery overlooking the pew
in which the President sat and left the
building just before the conclusion of the
service and took up a position on the
sidewalk a few rods away
When the President came out and
stepped suddenly forward, held out his
hand and said: Roosevelt, shake hands
with Elliott"
Without slackening his pace the Presi-
dent raised his hat and held out his hand,
saying, Il am glad to see you," and pass
ed on. 1t is believed the man was dis
concerted by the Presidents manner and
had not the nerve to put his plan of muir
der into execution.
A little before noon Monday Elliott
entered the vestibule of the White House
and demanded to be admitted to see the
President. 1t was evident that he was
crazy and the attendants denied him adj
mission. He attempted to force his way
in and it was only after a hard struggle
that he was overpowered and carried 10
a police van that had been summoned.
He was placed in the van in the custody
of two officers.
Seeming to realize then for the first
time that he was under arrest, Elliott
began the furious struggle with his cap
tors for liberty He drew a revolver
from the right side pocket Of his trous-
ers and attempted to shoot Officer James
Cissell. The officer grabbed his hand
and wrenched the weapon from him.
In the struggle in the van Elliott had
broken a glass panel with his head, Sc
verely cutting his head and face. Officer
Cissell sustained a serious cut on his
right arm The van was b.rried to the
emergency hospital, where the injuries
of both Cissell and Elliott were dressed.
Elliott is undoubtedly violently insane.