davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
NAPOLEON AMONG ANIMALS.
COmmaRdSr Of 10000 Men who Daily
Pat 90 Death Thousands OF
Food Animals.

Imagine a procession of 10000 cat
tie, marching two by two, in a line
IS miles long; let 10000 sheep follow
them. bleatinG along - miles of
road; after them drive I6 miles of
hogs, 1900 strong; then let $1,000
fowls bring up the rear, cluckinR and
quaelding and gobbling, over a space
OF six miles; and in this whole cara
van, stretching for nearly 50 miles
and requiring two days to pass a
given point, you win see the animals
devoted TO death in the packing
houses of Swift & Co. in a single day.
says the Cosmopolitan. Surely a
Buddhist would think that the head
Of that establishment had much TO
answer for. Never before in the
worlds history was massacre of
the innOeents organized On such a
stupendous scale or with such scien-
tifie system.
The commander of the army Of 20
600 men engaged in this work earned
his first penny picking cranberries
in a swamp on Sape Cod more than
so years ago. It was at Sycamore,
on that historic peninsula, that son
was born to the house of Swift on
June "a, 1899. and named Gustavus
Franklin. A few years later, when
the boy was not picking cranberries.
he drove hogs along the cape. It
was like Napoleon exercising his in
FAINT armies at school.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
THE INCLUDED BRIDEGROOM.
There II Room for InstruetiOHs fos
Hin On How e Looh Prep
eFlysHapPT.

A thoughtful young man Of Wash
ington was heard to decry the fact the
other day thar while there is q deluge
Of don'ts and dos for the bride to fol
low--how to enter the church, how to
behave during the ceremony, what TO
wear. and so on-the bridegroom must
shift for himself, says the Post Of that
city.
There Is absolutely nothing TO
guide man but his own awkward self,
and Il isn't fair" he said. "From the
time a girl Is old enough to hear, she
understands the Importance Of having
things done properly at a wedding
while the prospective groom is some
thing necessary to complete the pic
ture, but a secondary consideration,
and nothing short Of inspiration can
get a man through a marriage eere-
mony gracefully.
ain order to impress the bride and
spectators that he is enthusiastic
about It, he appears with q sort Of
frozen grin on his face that you ex-
pect to melt at any moment and run
down his collar. If he is too frightened
to respond in a loud voice some Of the
brides girl friends will whisper that
he was unwilling from the first
again, IL he replies in a loud, stern
voice, smother bunch in another direc-
tion Of the church viii hubble together
and express how glad they are that
they are not marrying him, while the
attitude of many is that they are sign
ing away their life and all worth living
for. So think Il about time. contin-
ued the thoughtful young man, shat
somebody is writing few hints on how
to behave that we may appear enthus-:
iastic "bOut being married without be-
ing ridiculous and target for the peo-
pie to knock at"
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

The Maryland Medical Journal pro-
duces figures which show that re-
turns from 90 colleges covering ten
years Of time and including 1,s74 sep
arate teams grove the dangerous
character Of football. OF the 22,7@
men in these teams 654 resolved in
Juries serious enough TO prevent col
lsge work, the ratio being one for
every 2.s4s players. The deaths were
too numerous. but the figure is not
given. The aumber pla0ing de-
ereases, but the injuries increase in
an ominOus manner. Beginning with
1893 and ending with 1902, the inju-
RES ran thus: 40, &c, 20, IS, So, 50, 81,
60. 76. IA.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
THE AMATEUR GARDENER.
Does Not Know About
Gardening.

One Of the recently married eou.
pies rented a house in the suburbs
and started to housekeeping on their
own account, relates the Memphis
Scimitar.
They planted a garden.
Recently the husband was looking
over the new vegetables as they were
bursting through the ground, and
with his wife was discussing the
appearance OF the different plants
as they appeared above the ground,
most Of which were new TO them.
They came to the row of beans
which were just shooting their heads
into the air and marveled that the
seed should be thus thrust up. It
appeared TO the husband that the or
der of their appearance was re-
versed.
He Pondered the matter over and.
after giving it due consideration,
decided that It would be a pity to
have the beans ruined through their
ignorance Of the proper manner Of
coming through the ground.
To save them this catastrophe, he
pulled them all up, and reset them
with the seed underneath, where he
thought a good seed should be.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
Al onlnon. Phrn.e.

Il hope you win excuse what nav
seem to you to be a liberty" said the
young man.
Certainly" replied the merchant
Il am sure that you viii not presume
ON your position as a trusted en-
ploye-"
ct Is gust that that I desire to men
ton I heard you speaking Of me to one
ofyour friends the other day as "a trust
edemPloye, and WANTED to ask you as a
special favor to call me something else
After all that has been happening I
can't help feeling that IL causes me to
be regarded with suspicion which I do
not deserve. IN. Y. Times.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

The Eskimos possessed the most re-
markable place of worship In the
world. II was q sealskln church. Forty
sealskins were stretched over q light
framework and in this tent, Is feet by
~ feet, services were held every Sun
day. But the church came to an I'M
timely end. One hard winter the Es-
kimos' dogs being half furnished,
dined on the sealEkins. and only the
frame was left. The Eskimos have
now erected dog proof tabernacle.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
- HuhTER REMoVEp

T. ]. Hunter, s2Ss State St., deal
er in ladies and gents clothing Of all
kinds which he sells for cash or easy
terms, has removed his stock Of goods
to bis residence s14s State street
second floor and from heneeforth he
will make personal calls on his Gus
toners at their homes and all all
orders with promptness.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

A kissing certificate may be one OF
the Injuries Of life II q certain Amer
lean physician has his way. The sen.
ate Of the state Of Minnesota Is con-
sidering a ban for the prohibition Of
kissing unless the people wishing 10
salute eaehother thus possess health
certificates stating that they. are 1t
subjects. The bill has q clause for
Bidding snch hath certificates
beng. given 70 people with weak
hearts. as this - declared an obsta-
Gle 70 the emotion aroused BIZ Kiss
ing.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Ethnologists Of the Smithsonian IN.
stitution have Investigated the Fil-
iplnos, with results that are Of rare
Interest 20 science, says the Scientific
American. They have called attention
70 the fact that On the Feins OF the
tribes 81 the archipelago flows the
blood q al the races and varieties 81
mankind,
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Penelope" said her brother, "don't
look angry, now. But, really, didn't
VIII kiss you when he left last night?"
"How can you use such plebeian
phraseology, George?" she answered,
haughtily. There was a slight labial
juxtaposition, but it was only moment
ary."-Tit Bits.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

won't you have another piece of
cake, JohnP o. where is he?" ex-
claimed the bride, suddenly discover
ing that he was no longer at her side.
1He's just gone up on deck, ma'am,
TO prove an old saying" said the pass
enger opposite.
ITO prove an old saying?"
"Yes. You can't eat your cake and
have IL too."-Philadelphia Press.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
Ea,,rss a .hs Pua ofass Il chlar.
s1sssoossIis Al.iash


II hear" said HI Tragerdy, @that
while you were playing in one Of the
western towns . Ere broke out in the
theater."
"Yes." replied Low Comedy, Sand
there might have been q horrible
panic but for one thing.s
"Whaf was that2"
there weren't enough people in
the audience 70 create one."-Phila-
delphis Press.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Mother Quitting the boy out Of the
pantry)-HoW many more times win I
have TO ten you to keep away from that
preserve jar?
Small Boy (sobbingl-No more,
mamma, the jams all gone.-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Young De Style-Aw-congwatulats
me, my deah fellah. I'm the happiest
man outside Of Lunnon.
Friend-Eh? Is it about the love-
" Miss De Fashion?
Young De Style-That's Il. I
awsked her to share my 10000 a yeah,
and she said she would. n. Y.
Weekly.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

"PaPa," queried little Floramay, "are
afterthoughts always the best?"
Il believe so, my dear" replied her
father.
"Then," continued the little inquis-
itor, why don't people have them
frst2"-Cincinnat Enquirer.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
~ FrnIninpa.

Say, pa" queried little Johnny
BumPerniekle. whats the difference
between q green grocer and the other
IdndP"
The other kind sen exclusively for
cash, my son" replied the old man
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Winks-Did you ever notice that
during hard times, religious revivalsal-
ways start up and the long-empty
churches are sure TO be filed?
Jinls-Yes.
How DO you account for it2"
-SalvltiOn's free"-N. 7. Weekly.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Bertha-How shall we seat the IA
nous antiquarian collector?
Ethel-Oh, put him next TO grand
mamma; she'll tell him some scandals
90 years old.-BrOoklyn Life.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

"I understand she has joined the
Audubon society and no longer has
birds on her hats. How did it happen?'
why, she found that she could get
just as expensive a hat or a bonnet
without birds.-Chicago Post.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Sarah, there is something wrong
with this child" said the minister, stop
ping in his midnight walk with his
child in his arms.
@What makes you think so, Isaiah p
asked the wife, FROM her warm bed.
well, Ihaye got to my sixteenthly in
my last sermon, and he shows no sign
Of sleep."-Yonkers Statesman.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
- - - the -.

First Married Man.-Women are
frightful gossipers, aren't the.
Second Married Man-Yes; but lust
think what a lot Of entertaining in
formation one would miss concerning
the neighbors were they Otherwise
Chicago Daily News.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

First once BOy-Why do yer t,ink de
-old mans" wife is IN Europe9
Second 0fiee Boy-Why, I jes' seen
him put q check IN letter, swear IKE
sixty, an den put fve-eent stamp on
it.-JudRe.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Willie Boerum-Pa, what's the diff
ference between news and gossip?
Mr.. Boerum-Well, my son, when
ever your mother tells anything to
anyone, it's news; but when any
one tells her anything it's gossip
n. Y. Times.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Parson SOllum-Don't you think, Mr..
HennPeeke, that in this, your last hour,
you should think of the future? Are
you not afraid of the King of Terrors?
Willie Hennepecke-Can't say am,
ParsOn. I've lived 80 years with the
Queen Of Terrors. The old man can't
scare me-N. Y. Times.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

LaWyeF-Ycu say you are sure Il was
about II O'Clock in the forenoon. How
% ron Ak the timer
Wltness-The night editions Of the
afteznon papers had Just been PLACED
On s.ls.-IoNn Topic.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

isn't JimpsOn young looking man
for his age? He's 81, and he doesn't
look a day over 90"
"And sometimes, when you hear him
talk, you'd better think he wasn't day
over hve."-Chicago Tribune.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

what do you put on your face after
6haFing2s asked the msnuho smeIled
81 bay run.
Court plaster. usually, replied the
nervous chap. gloomfy. = Cincinnafi
Commercial Tribune.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
Disappointed.

"They say BascOm was disappointed
in love"
eyes"
wonder why the girl wouldn't mar
~ him?"
''She did."-Indianapolis Sun.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

"HOw are you getting on with your
invention2"
beautifully" answered the enthu-
Eiast. ''The Advertisements are all
completed and IN fine working or
der.'--Washington Star.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

II suppose there win never be an end
70 grabs until everything is grabbed. /"
OH Not even then; because the peo-
PIE who haven't grabbed anything win
be trying TO grab what has already
been grabbed. Puck.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

The people who 60 to South Da-
kota for divorces spend q million dol
lars q year IN that state"
eWens did you ever hear that they
wanted their money bacl2H- Chicago
Reeord- Herald.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
valuabIe TInenI.c.-

George, your watch should be
worth mint Of money to you"
"Why SOP
Gains time steadilyP"
Eyes"
Well, time Is money."-Yonkers
Statesman.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Ne could write q comic article that would
make you fairy roar.
And his after-dinner speeches were with
humoF trimming Ger;
But when LETT 70 mind the baby his re-
sources were dispelled,
And the funnier be tried TO Be the more the
baby yelled
-Tit-Blfa
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Georgia., is boycott a tang for
q boy to sleep onP
Pa-No, George; it's q thing that
puts a mans business 10 sleep h he
doesn't knuokle down.-YonkcrS
Statesman.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Old Mc1rumpps-Do you suppose
that 7 am going toallolV ny daughter
90 marry q man IS poor e. youare7
Young NcGall--Elo zen suppose thnt
any rieh nan would marrr 5 rirl as
homeiy e. she SIX. y Weekly.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

She-GEaeiousi The last time saw
him he was the most opinionated fell
low in town. How he has changed.
He-0hl didn't you know he was re-
Gently married ?-Detroit Free Press.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
Society Mnnnrrn.

Fair Debutante-And was my de-
pertinent correct?
Skilled DOwager-Yes, my dear.
But we viii soon train that out OF
you.-Brooklyn Life.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
Not Adonfrd.

First Fashion Leader-Why not
adopt this style7 1t is very becoming
to both of us?
Second Fashion Leader-Yes,i tits be-
coming to US, but it does not make
other people look ugly enough.-N. Y.
Weekly.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

The men who deal In fiOWerseeds,
Would suner like the dickens
In business. n Il were not
For neighbOrs who keep chickens.
-Chicago Tribune
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Nell-A girl seldom marriss her
idesl. does she2
Belie-No; some other fellow gensr.
ally comes along With q let Of money.
--Philadeiphia Record.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Weary Wilhe-You'd hardly t,ink Il.
nam, but was oncet grand vizier 20
de sultan Of Tofkey.
Mrs. Farmer-And what reduced you
70 thisf
Weary WilHe-Buyin' bonnets fer me
harem, nam. - Louisville Courier.
Journal.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Permit us 70 put IN q word:
About the yachts we've reckoned.
And We believe that Shamrock third
VIII sim be shamrock second.
-Tudea
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Georgie-Pa, what are the latest
letters in the alphabet?
'Give It up, Georgia; what are
they?@
20. B, C, T."-Yonkers Statesman.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

De only good thing about 3 mortgage
am d fact dat 20 don't need any clock
in Dc house 70 hurry along de time
Detroit Free Press.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Wasn't that Jack? He passed right
By without recognizing US
"Yes. 1 rejected him yesterday. and
the silly boy thinks meant TN. Y.
Journal
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Bill-What would you call this at
tack on the Poolrooms2
Jil-Race prejudice. I guess.-Yon-
ksrs Statesman.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Say, pa" queEied little Johnny
BumPernicl<le, what is fiattery?'
Flattery, my son," replied the old
man, sis the art of making others
believe you are interested in their re-
marks when, in reality, they give you
that tired feeling. "-Cincinnati En-
quirer.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

The Fly In the Ointment.
At last we're to be married.
With Joy my bosom thrills,
To think that all IS settled
That IS. except the bills.
PHILADELPHIA Ledger.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

The fight-htflug British Uniform al
alleged 70 be the cause 81 50 muct
hsart-fisease amoug soldiera
The broad ax., 1903-05-23
The Banquet.

The moth he Il an eplcurs
Who eats fun Oft with dainty Esai.
He eatahis Ill,
You foot the bill
For bis nice hfty-dollar meal.
Warrington Star.
nunu~E,
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Il want to introduce my friend,
Baron Eheff."
i had the pleasure last season,
madam, Of dancing with you several
hmes-PerhaPs you remember me?H-
Fliegende Blaetter.
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

Prof Booker T. Washington,s
daughter, Miss POrtia. Who has 90 Tar
received an her education In the
white schools IN the East and never
attended any Of the col6red schools
IN the South. It Is claimed Is now
drawing seEenty-fve dollars per month
IS one Of the under teachers a Tus-
kesee. that next year Miss Portia WIN
attend the University At HeideIberx
Germany. where she win complete her
education- Ibis seems 20 Indicate
that Booker Washington wants his
children 70 receive the beet and the
The broad ax., 1903-05-23

IN. REDUCED CIRCUMSTANCES.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-24
2! ' '|||'''''

older womans quick response. Once my mother told me, or somebody In my presence, that an uncle, because I cried a great deal as a little baby, said he wouldn't give a pair of old shoes for me. I. suffered years from an ignominious serse of nothing worthness. Another time. when I had grown into a tall, awk- ward girl a superior sort of young man cousin said brusquely to me, You will have neither beauty nor money; you will have to marry for love- That seemed a dreadful fate to me then, and tempor- arily at least, his comment made me shyer and more awkward than ever, Most children take Impressions as readily as the sensitive plate of a camera. Just a few days ago I overheard a mother say in her little girls presence, Maudie is dreadfully afraid of spiders. l expect she would have a spasm If she found one on her. And I felt sure that Maudie would-slnce 1t was suggested to her.
 I've don't realize" the older woman continued, unless we have kept childhood in our hearts. how deeply comment and suggestion and criticism impress our cnil- dren, except the abnormally unsensitive ones. If we remind ourselves of this mpressionability-ln case we do not re- member it-and If we will take time for the talking over of things with children much of the harm of morbid sensitiveness would be avoided and the germs of good judgment implanted"
 "One needs the wisdom of Solomon to bring up children these days" commented the younger woman. But it's worth while" she added, with convincing fer vor
 'The more sensitive a nature is, the more 1t feels of pleasure and of pain ' said the other.
 "sensitiveness, rightly directed, develops fineness of insight and of living"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-24
To Miss Fletcher.

XNNE of the most brilliant events or ((o) the mld-winter season was the O reception at which pr. and Mrs. John Eadens Frazier entertained last evening in compliment to their charming guest, Miss Fletcher of Huntsville.
 The decorations were elaborate includ- ing quantities of cut flowers, ferns and palms. Red carnations were used in ar- tistic profusion in the reception hall and in the blue drawing room where the re- ceiving party stood, the mantels and cabinets were decorated with white roses.
 The library was in rose and in the dn- ing room where a buffet supper was served, the table was exquisite in it's decorations of white hyacinths and ferns. which framed miniature lake mirroring innumerable water lilier.
 Miniature swans fioated on the sparkling water in which were reflected the soft glow of waxen tapers and the brilliant lights from the chandelier above
 Mrs. Frazier was notably pretty in a reception gown of black lace over white silk.
 Miss Fletcher was unusually attractive in a lovely toilette of white silk.
 Among the prettiest toiiettes of the evening was that worn by Mrs. H. c. I.e- Sourd of New York, who was the beauti- full Lucy Morrow. It was of pink chif- ion, exquistely fashioned over pink silk.
 Mrs J. M. Carmichael was one of the prettiest women of the evening in a gown of xyhita cillx and lace.
 Mrs. Charles M. Brown was very hand some in Q toilette of violet crepe de chine.
 Mrs George M. Morrow was greatly admired in beautiful gown of grey silk hand embroidered.
 The receiving party included Mrs. J. C. Henley, Mrs. George Morrow. Mrs. B. M Starks Mrs. Hubert Drennen, Mrs. M Clifford, Mrs Henry Milner. Mrs. FeliS Drennen, Mrs Mansfield Lastum, Mrs Solon Jacobs, Mrs. Henry B. Gray, Mrs Alex London, Mrs J. D. Moore. Mrs. J c. Carmichael, Mrs. w. P G. Harding Miss Fannie DeBardeleben, Mrs. Priestley Toulman Mrs. Hugh Morrow. Mrs. Rob- ert Jemison, Jr.. Mrs. Charles G. Brown l Mrs. c. J. Cole, Mrs. George Blinn, Jr Mrs. Warner Shook, Mrs. Brooks. Mrs Everett Wilcox Miss Shepperd. Miss George Weatherly, Miss Fannie M. Ma son, Miss Lillian Roden. Miss Ethel Cliff ford Miss Millie Nabb, Mrs Lathrop Miss Annie Fletcher, Miss Marjorie Catchings
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-24
ACHIEVEMENTS OF HEWITT.

From the New York World.
 Put up first steam-engine plant in the United States. E
 Helped construct the first steam engine in this country.
 Helped carry out Peter Coopers phi- lanthropic plans.
 Pioneer in the successful manufacture of iron.
 Organized Cooper institute and directed it's management.
 Was chairman of the democratic na- tional convention in 1876. and counseled moderation in the bitter Tilden-Hayes contest.
 Fought in Congress from 1874 to 1886 for low tariff and sound money.
 Received unsought the Tammany nomi- nation for mayor in 1886 against Henry George and Theodore Roosevelt, and was elected.
 Said 'I shall be mayor" and was.
 Was made chairman of the Carnegie $10,000000 gift for education.
 Was chosen trustee of the Burke s4,OOO,- 900 fund.
 Received a gold medal from the New York Chamber of Commerce in recogni- ton of his services to the community.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-24
Notes and Personals.

Mrs J. M. Davidson of Montgomery Is the guest of Mrs. B. L. Wyman at her residence on Highland avenue. Mrs. Da- vidson Is one of the most charming so- cial favorites In the state and her visits to Birmingham. where she formerly lived, are always the occasion of many entertainments in her honor.
 Mrs. J. r. Graham will entertain at cards this afternoon in compliment to Mrs. Davidson.
 Mrs Evans P Dunn will entertain Mon day afternoon in compliment to Mrs. Da- vidson
 MT. Willis Gaylor Clark of Mobile is the guest of Gen. Louis V. Clark.
 Mrs. R. D. Johnston has returned from Montgomery.
 Mrs. J. Norman Brooks will not be at home this afternoon.
 Mrs Brooks will entertain informally Thursday morning in compliment to Mrs. Davidson.
 Miss Cecelia Nolan, who has been very i'll at her home on Seventh avenue, is very much better.
 The Right Rev. Abbott Benedict of the Cullman monastery, who has been the guest of Father Meurer, priest of the Southside Catholic church, left yesterday for Brookside where he will spend today with Father Roberts. returning to Bir- mingham tonight.
 Mrs. William Nathaniel Malone issued invitations yesterday for a spinsters' party "Wednesday afternoon. January 2S, at 4:30 o'clock, in compliment to her guest, Miss Grace Hunter.
 Mrs. Michael Clifford and Mrs. BenJa- min McClelland Starks have issued invi- tations for a reception Friday afternoon. January 30. from 8 to 6 o'clock, at the Morris in compliment to Miss Clifford.
 Mrs. c. P. Orr has returned from Montgomery.
 Miss Helen Van Hoose of Birmingham, who has been the guest of Mir. and Mrs. James s. Pinckard for the past week. has returned home. Miss Van Hcosc received much attention during her visit and was the guest of horor at many delightful nf- feirs. gays the Montgomery Advertiser.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-24
THE BARBAaic HEARsE.

From the Buenos Ayres Herald
 Of all the vehicles that ever were in- vented, the hearse is surely the most hideous and utterly barbaric. It repre- sents and suggests nothing so much as the primitive intellectual condition of the semi-savage. It is delightfully."- absurd for person who has all his life been content with modest and plain surround ings to take his last ride in state. under holding plumes drawn by long-tailed ebony steeds and attended by fiunkies with knee-breeches and cooked hats When we make more progress in civilza- tion and have more regard for the fitness of things, we shall modify this port mortem, band wagon nonsense.
 Acheing in the small of the back is an indication of Bright's Disease. The proper course in such cases is to take few doses of Prickly Ash Bitters It is an ef- fective kidney remedy and bowel regu- lator.