The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1903-08-26

Mistaken for Everybody,
ConfeSses 10 COntemplat-
ing Burglary, and Goes
TO the Races
New York SunO

NNCh 1Olh SUM-
Mark Twain began to get ready for
the yncnt races yeJterd0v by having
his Panama straw Of '9S brushed up
in a boot polishing, he. cleaning booth
in the arccdc of tao Empire building
at III Broadway. It took long time
to clean the hat, and while waiting
for TIE job to be finished the author
wns the victim of n dozen or more
casos of mistrken identity. He was
everything from n banker to q florist
In about twenty minutes.
The cloud Of dust that flow from the
Panama as II made about 1000 revolu.
tions q minute on tho cleaners elec.
trio wheel made his cigar burn side
ways like a three-for-flve, which It
wasn't, He said so,
To get out Of the draft Mark Twain
moved along the corridor 20 wait In
front OF the net STALL which happened
to be occupied by n florist. Standing
there barahended. gazing up at the
ceiling freoco and with his hands on
his hips. he looked 40 II he might be
the proprietor of the booth.
One woman. at any rate. thought
that he was and tried to do business
with him.
was and tried to do business with
him.
"If you arc very sure that these DAT.
fodlls were cut fresh this morning"
said the woman, 81 would like a ioz'
en-"
Madame. I am no. sure" replied
Mark "Your question has taken all
the tuck out Of me. | am not allowed
4 10 sell the blossoms myself. | am
1 V,araIty tha door attendant
| Whereupon Mark opened the door
to the florists place and bowed the
woman In.
Then he moved along to the next
place, where they sell elevated road
tickets. He had a green check In his
hand to identify his hat by. II looked
something like the transfer tickets Is.
sued by the elevated for rides on the
cars Of the old Third avenue system.
A woman hurrying through the arcade
with a child stopped I'm from OF Mark
Twain and asked breathlessly:
DO you transfer 10 Huckleberry?"
The author who was again studying
the ceiling. didn't catch mere than a
word or so OF the woman's question,
bue he replied politely:
81 thank you madame. have sort
OF a sneaking liking for Huck Finn
myself"
The woman screamed, grabbed her
child and fed.
Waving his hands In front OF his
face TO ward on the dust Mr., Clemens
stood In front of the cleaners place
and asked how much longer II would
/ tnlSe 10 fix that hat up.
Then he slde-steppedf over and stood
4 In front of cigar stand. He held his
new ground till n shirt waist sort OF
young man. wearing open work
socks came along and exclaimed:
Say. II you've got any cigars DIFF
ferent from what you're smoking your
self I'll buy some"
The author said that he couldn't
sell TO miners and the shirt waist man
disappeared in the crowd.
Mark Twain crossed the arcade and
stood In front of the barber shop, but
only for a minute. A bald-headed man
stepned In front of him and remarked:
"Tll take a dozen bottles II you will
give me a head of hair like yours.
Hold on though, Is yours real?"
Mark Twain didn't open his mouth
or move as much a. an eyewinker.
"Well, I'm damned" said the bald
headed man TITS the most perfect
piece of wax figure | ever saw. II
beats the crowned heads OF Europe
| in Twenty-third street"
Before halting again Mark Twain
looked carefully at the signs In the ar
cade. He quickened his pace to get
by the manicure parlors. ran by the
book stall, lodged away from the soda
fountain and finally stopped In front
of the arcade entrance 10 a bank.
81 won't be disturbed here" he NUT
tered. But he WIS. II was Just about
closing time for financial business
and bank doors were being locked A
belated and excited man, his hands
full Of checks and drafts rushed up
and demanded that he be let in.
"Listcn," the author whispered
hoarsely I'm the other mans ear. I'm
waiting to get in myself. I've just
sent the boy up for tho Jimmy and the
dynamite and hen be here most any
minute"
The other man lodged out Of the
Broadway entrance 10 get to the front
door OF the bank and warn the presi-
dent.
Mark Twain got his hat then. stop
ned long enough al the Western
Union both 10 telegraph his pastor
the Rev. Joe Twitchell. that that res
OlutiOn against GUESSING wes all on,
ga fhav hoarIrd an unfouru train