The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-01-05
SPEAKING OF
LINGUISTIC QUIRKS.

LINGUISTIC QUIRKS.
A boy who thought that he could draw
A host Of pictures drew.
His dad was wont his wife to jaw,
And savagely he jew.
A girl who went some lace to buy
was sold on what She bought.
twas natural for her to cruy,
And bitter tears She crought-
1t seemed as though her heart would
But it was noe cutie broken.
Though fearfuIly her nerves did oueak:
Were your nerves ever quicken?
Friends cherished wesshould not forget:
One hates to be forgotten.
You must not in the future fret
AS in the past youiYe frotten.
Be temperate in What you eat;
Last week too much you ate.
straightforward be and do not cheat
AS CagliOstro chate.
A novelist so loved to wright
That forty books he wrote.
A man who had street lamps to light
A hundred of them lote
A boy, who sought some fish to catch
A goedly number caught.
HIS back itched and he had to scratch,
AND thoroughly he scraught.
When you take cold and have cough
1t Jars you through and through
You should on New Years day swear
ough
And neither smoke nor enough.
A thief and murderer to in6iCt
The states attorney wrote
When by them he was seen to wrict.
The jurymen indote.
A soldier went to war to STAY,
And many foes he slew.
Today are children seen to play
AS their forefathersr plew.
Whenever illness makes you weak,
Take tonics for your weakness.
II too habitua4fy you speak
Learn to restrain your speakness.
But have a care if you must speak,
That harmless is your speech.
Caution becomes the strong and weak,
Nhate'er their strength or weech
The bird that's seen today to fluy
Yesterday alsoEiew
A boy bethoughtKhim cake to buy;
He ate the cakAhe bew.
A servant all heI duties did;
They ever WerA Swell done.
A darkey in a Wfodpile hid
And grinned wlsen he was hone
To Minneapolis al Ee,"
Said Sally, ands she, vert.
She noted that fsew boosters Gro
Loud as they eyer Hent
The self same joys today we feel
That Our ANCESTORS felt
What fun for bies5c1ists to wheel
Where yesterday they wlaolt!
When. speadthriftb fortunes have to spend
They rapidly are spent
You feel relief, Whea troubles end.
To know that they have ent.
The gormandizer loves to feed
And long years has he fed.
Though goodIy fare he may less need
Than in his youth he ned.
With thankfulness his heart may swell
Until his stomach's swollen,
And words may not suffice to tell
All there is to be tollen.
And the wine bibber may take drinks
FIJI through and through he's drunken
The while comradery's jovial wfnks
Have to the last been wunken.
Along the forests Ieafy aisles
Advanced an army feorps
Inc generals face was wreathed il
srnaisles ss E.s
AS he rode on beforps.
His men thought as they@saw him ride
ava
Ihey knew they~eou4d- him cor1fida
So every one confode.
An old dyspeptic babe adieu
TO coffee. pie and sauce
the act the rest ofS his life thrieu
FroVed both his gain and. Iauce.
Once, when twas cold enough to freeza
Miss Gimp her fingers froze.
She begged: George, thaw me, If Won
pleeze;''
And instantly he pIoze.
She pricked his thumb. which made him
swear,
Just as his father swore.
'Alas!' he cried, you do not Gear
Fer ne as mother coret''
II m sorry that I pricked your thumb,
The contrite maiden said.
For | confess I love you sunb.
On, would that L were daid!'
Mrs. Justwed a fruit cake Trained
According to receipt.
Her husband, gratified, exclaimed.
lou, like the cake, are sweipt!"
A lover who worked on a dyke
Kept by him nar( and myrrh.
These perfumes, = he declared. 81 lyke:
They're typical Of hyrrh.
Once detective, pressed with debt.
TO duty was assigned
lie warned a crook; You'll learn vo,,
bebt r
That I've kept you in migned."
A gentleman a stone house built;
The stone he used was gneiss.
Quoth he: I'm confident thou wuiIt
keep out the rats and gmeiss.'
For his chief did soldier stand
CAS- all his comrades stood):
mo ADLER ever did command
Since Washington commood."
A young athlete who loved to swvrnn
The English channel swan.
Large crowds were there his praise +o
hymn,
And Justify they ham.
Miss Muffitt had a dreadful faul:
Twas in the street she fell.
Jake Sniggins drove out wood to hauI.
And twenty cords he hell.
John Talnan.
~n@ xxa~