The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-02-22

way nome, nut ne Qleu peIoTe ne IedCH-
I'd port Yellow JACK. poor fellow. SO
young, too-so promising
Then there IS stampede for the
steamboat office. The perpetual con-
sui smilingly pays the fare. The fit
ting consul weeps tears Of gratitude on
his shoulder: and for the next four
wears this benevolent representative Of
Uncle Sam gives the cemetery and the
steamboat office a rest.
Il intended trying this yellow jack
method on my successor, but it
wouldn't work. He was a Cuban. He
weighed 325 ponds. Yellow jack was
rs familiar to him as a revolution. He
had been brought up with it-had it
for a playmate when he went to school.
He positively glOried in IT, I was dis
guested when [ found this out, and 7
have advocated the reform of the con-
sular service ever since.
The Consul Reads Two Books.
'T had not been long in the service
before l began to find out that a con-
sui must be a lawyer, a merchant,
doctor, clergyman, an undertaken, a
statistician, an expert bookkeeper, a
lightning letter writer, a linguist and
philanthropist with a bottomless
purse.
ITO keep up with this varied calling
y
on a consuIs duties. and | am proud
to say that l succeeded in mastering
one of the strangest compilations ever
| issued from the government press.
1T was called Consular Regula-
tons This book was neither a novel
nor an epic poem, but / read it-and
by next mail | was notified by the
! State Department that the book was
back number. A new book arrived at
the I h.,
size of the ante-dated volume-and 1
had to digest it, too.
The Consul Meets His Match.
zone morning, as 1 was finishing my
breakfast, a sailor stalked into the con-
sulate and detiantly announced that he
had deserted from an American schoon-
er then in port. / mildly demonstrated
with the man and told him that it
would be my painful duty to arrest him.
This pleased him greatly and he invited
me to fulfil my duty. AS he measured
over six feet in hight and was massive
in proportion, | recalled that | had not
read any regulation relative to con-
suls powers in such an emergency; so
| told the sailor that there was no ne
Cessity for undue haste and that he
would hear from me later. He depart
ed in high glee and l spent the day in
solitary confinement studying 'regula-
tons Although three-fourthS of the
book is devoted to the American sea-
man. there was nothing in it, of course,
to shed light on the case in hand
Meanwhile, my sportive deserter was
sprawling all over town and making
disrespectful remarks that did not re-
fleet creditably on his country or It's
| representative.
Il wrote desparingly to the State De-
| partment
! ".'What am I to do with deserter left
| in port by his ship?'
"A month later l received a volumi-
nous packet from Washington, contain
ing reams of transcripts from law
books on the history and nature Of de-
serters. Then, as a climax, | was re-
ferred for further particulars to Con
sular Regulations, and sOlemnly ad-
monished to form my own Judgment
from what I found therein, together
with the legal discoveries that had been
dug out for my edification.
Il concluded to fall back on a car
dinal principle of diplomacy and do
nothing. This was an excellent solu-
ton of the question, 1 thought, as the
deserter was dead of yellow jack, and,
therefore, unfit for long imprisonment,
even in a foreign Jail.
IF the State Department thus shows
d btCOIilIS iuOueSJy III tne lnt6rpreCa-
ton of its own regulations not so the
average American citizen abroad. AS
a rule. the latter is "a walking compen-
dunn of international law, especially if
he is in hard luck, when he makes up
for his financial deficiencies by his re-
markable legal acumen. I never met
an American of this stamp who has not
given me to understand that it was my
duty as an American official to support
him while abroad and pay his passage
| back to the United States after he had
sufficiently enjoyed himself at my post.
The indignation which would meet my
denial of this claim became more en-
phatiC sometimes than the fragile fur
niture of my Office or my bilious con-
stitution could comfortably endure.
The Consul Entertains IA Guest.
81 shall never forget the case of an
elderly spinster from one of our New
England cities.
II found her occupying my apart
ments one afternoon after the close of
office hours. She was an entomolo-
gist and had transformed my quarters
ipto a veritable jungle.
I'm despair l sat down to view the
ruin that had entered my abode. 1 got
up with jump. a look of pain, and
woeful lack of dignity.
m nm N