Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1903-11-26
County Directory.
BOARD OF COUNTY COMMISSIONERS.
II Editors Tell No Lies.

Bailey in Britt. Iowa, Tribune: It hat
been said that editors SEQ tho white
wash brush in obituaries and dare no,
tell the truth about the dead or the
living. This 10 not a fact, the editor
simply wants to make the living feel al
good as he can and assuaRe grief by taffy.
Occasionally we are willing to tell
things, just as they are in detail. How
will the folio wing do for starter:
Died, Thomas P. Rowe. aged 20 years
6 months and IS days. Deceased was a
red-headed son of:a-eun who stole
chickens and hsd'a whisky nose on him.
He owed Lewis for the clothes he was
buried in and Treganza had to get the
cost! Of the casket of tho county. De-
ceased was mild hammered pirate with
a mouth for whiskey and an eye for
Doodle. He came here in the night
with another mans wife, and joined the
church atthe first chance. He owed Us
several dollars for the paper. a large
meat bill, and you could hear him pray
six blocks. He died singing "Jesus
paid it ALL" and We think he is right, as
he never paid anything himself. He
was buried in an ashes tos lined casket
and his many friends threw palm leaf
fans in the grave, as he may need them.
His tombstone will be a favorite roost-
ing place for hell divers and boot owls
Let him R. I. P. (rest in peace.)
Born to Mr.. and Mrs. Joe Bloomberg,
q son weighing ten pounds. This one
has two legs and fortunately hasn't
hare lip or bat eyes. This ia the tenth
one now living, if none of them have
starved to death since our last issue.
Joe hasn't done days work for three
years unless forced to by the neighbors,
who are now taking care Of his VIE.
He owes every man in town and is
universally detested. Mother ard child
doing well as expected.
Married, ut the home Of TIE brides
parents, John Hogan to Miss Matilda
Bottleson. The bride was beautifully
alfred in a green basque with yellow
skirt to match, caught up over blue
denim petticoat with passsmenterie
trimming, a red jacket to correspond
with her eyes and hair. blue hat with
red feather, white shoes and black
stockings. The groom wore the con.
ventional ducking overalIs with wamus
- atr hnk nd L. Il ILL.,
They we're married in the kitchen of
the palatial home, which is AXIS. one
story. twelve foot posts with lean to on
stone foundation, no exposures within
twenty feet. The firemen played an
overture CD the hose cart bell rs they
passed under bridal arch of sunfowers
and llyhocks. John had not money
enough to hire minister, 80 he had q
country justice come in and marry them.
and worked out bis road tax for pay.
The groom is, = knock kneed pigeon
toed fellow, who drifted in here. at the
hobo convention. He has never been
in states prison-we don't know why.
One leg is longer than tho other and his
eyes don't match. He chews smoking
and fddles for dances. He is we'll liked
in society. The happy bride was born
Of honest but we'll meaning parents and
could walk alone at months, at 10 she
could run real fast, and has never slack
ened her gait. She has many frlsnds-
most of them dead ones. The happy
couple took bridal trip to Wesley and
will then be at home with the old man
until they are kicked out. The Tribune
vlshes them long life and happiness.