West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-10-22

will be played here for two weeks in
November.
We have los, the gospel hymn-took we
usually carry in our coat.,ail pocket TO try
our voice on when We ride ou, In the county
and the finder will be credited with years
subscription to "rhe Kicker" on restoring
Il to US.
Two whole days of last week passed,
without any shooting or whooping on our
streets and we learn from several persons
in the business that real estate shows a
downward tendency. Is It possible ,ha, we
are becoming too civilized
We have gathered from our editorial
garden in the rear Of .'The Kicker" Office
thus far this year half bushel of string
beans, peck of radishes, a bu,hel of
cucumbers and seven squashes, and we
begin to have regular Uncle Reub hump
on our back.
man unknown To us, but who had
some cause for complaint. caught us on the
street the other day and put gun to our
ear and made us eat dirt in the most liberal
manner. Things will happen once in
while and we are philosopher enough to
expect IL and take our medicine as we have
obliged Others TO.
According TO the meteorological records
Of Arizona the hottest day in this Territory
The past summer bumped the thermometer
up to iaS degrees in the shade. There
was no need to tell anyone to go TO. We
were already there. All that was needed TO
complete the entertainment was the smell Of
birthstone.
Colonel Taylor's cowboys sent us word
the other day, as mayor of this town, that IL
we crossed Dog creek again within year
they would hang US TO the frs, handy limb.
We hereby acknowledge the receip, OF the
message and we likewise add that we shall
cross Dog creek day after tomorrow with
our soul keyed up for two handed shooting.
We haven't said anything about the presi.
dency of 1908 for the last three weeks bul
we are keeping up heap of thinking just
the same ana shall be ready for the nomi.
nation as II we had Congress by the nose
for the las, ten years. We have got il and
got il bad and nothing bu, success will cure
US.
Most Of the newspaper Offices in this
Territory throw away the glue and moIasses
cut from the cores of their old printing press
rollers, but we have regularly distributed II
among the Indians for the last six months
and they mix il with roast dog and grow fat
on it, We also incline TO the belief that |,
makes them more peaceful.
We do not know who IL was that hurled
stone through our bedroom window at
midnight the other night, but we were out
of bed in time 10 get pop a, him aud hear
him yell out as he limped away Dom,
play with us after midnight or If you do
don't break Uncle Sans windows. Our
duties as postmaster obIige us to look out
for his glassware as well as his msilbags.
When Tom Jackson used to ride his cay
use through The front door Of saloon and
out Of the back in this town he was applaud.
ed and handed out free drink. When he
got over into Montana and tried the same
little business they shot four bullets into his
body aud planted him under the greenwood
tree. Thomas should have realized the
difference between liberal community AID
one tha, was sot in lis ways
There IS an opening in Giveadam GuIch
for photographer, but we want 10 warn
the profession in advance that old Jim
Hews,on and half dozen others must be
photographed to iook as heroic as Napolesn
at the Pyramids, or there will be some
shooting to follow. Three different photog.
raphers have come and gone within the last
year.
The poslofiice a, this place has gained 50
per cent financially since we took hold Of 1,
two years ago but We sre no, expecting
Uncle Sam TO pst Us on the back over the
fact. We shall content oufseif With olserv.
ing that we are by long odds the best post.
master west Of the M,ssissipp river
The report current last week that Major
Callahan intended TO run for mayor IN the
next campaign and beat us out Of sight
proves to be without foundation lie had
said that he would like 70 be mayor, and
that he would possibly run against as. but
when We gave him specimen Of our target
practice he changed his mind and decided
to continue IN the law business
II anyone in this country has invented a
bullet proof kerosene lamp we should like
to be put 10 communication wnh him At
oace. We want dozen for the Henso
Opera House. They must be able to stand
an hours fasilIade
-aa-a----<s---a-
Doafnsss Caasaot 1so Carsa
by local applications as they cannot reach
the diseased portion Of the car. There Is
only one way 20 cure deafness and that Is
by constitutional remedies Deafness Is
caused by an infamed condition OF the
mucous lining OF the Fusfachian Tubc