The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-05
SOME ADVERTISING HuMoRs.
Unntentional, but None the Less Funny,
as See Below

Unintentonal, but None the Less Funny,
-,-.f- as See Below.
Not all the. humor of the daily press
is to be found in its alleged funny columns
not by long shot The average reader
certainly would not seek il in the small
ads" but one man who. believes that he
can recognize fun even without a label
I asserts that the want columns of the
local papers are simply trimming over
with it and none the less irresistible. much
of 1t. for its bland Inconsistencies. In
support of his statement he drew the
other day from one of the pigeon holes
of his desk a loose handful of clippings
from the classified ads of the local pa
pers. Some of them are really too good
to be true. They remind one of the stock
jokes about a piano for sale by a young
lady with carved legs The writer had
always supposed this to be the invention
of some frivolous minded man, moved by
a desire to make merry at the expense OF
some superior woman. But these-well.
there was no mistalIing these-they really
happened. every one of them, and in local
papers. There was no doubt as to the
genuineness OF the clippings. The first
one read:
TALL. educated, professional wldower
(past middle age) no incumbrance. with
ample income and a fine suburban home,
desires to marry before Christmas. Adj
dress ID So.
Ye gods and little. fishes, What did the
man expect? In vain dies the fowler
spread his net i'm sight of the bird. Would
any girl with her eyes open marry a
professional widowcr?' There's a nice
profession for man. What shall IL profit
a girl II she gain a tall. educated wldoWer
without incumbIances), an ample income
and a fine suburban home? When she is
fairly married she finds that the path OF
matrimony in this instance leads but to
the grave.
Then again:
WANTED-An organist and a boy to
blow the same. Apply S Ga.
Fun for the boy, possibly. but hard on
the organiSt.
FOR E-Thoroughbred bulldog; will
eat anything; particularly fond OF chill
dren.
One cannot but doubt whether a bull
dog with such pronounced epicurean tastes
for the young and tender would prove a
welcome addition TO most families or
neighborhoods. Unlike the youth and
the bright young lady of some sort, here
Is one who is particular as TO what sort
of a situation he takes:
WANTED-A situation as Son-in law by
a respectable gentleman, in some re-
spectacle family; good blood and breed
ing not necessary, being already well sup
plied capital essential; no objections to
going a short distance into the country.
Address w 115-
WANTED-A boy to be partly outside and
partly behind the counter.
That boy would have to be n dime mu
scum freak-though perhaps that was not
wholly an unreasonable demand on the
part of the advertiser. for II one can take
their WOrQ lOr IL tntTe are dlNdlS thouEil
freaks advertising to stock a dozen mu-
seums For instance:
WANTED-Furnished apartments suitable
for a gentleman with folding doors.
There is a tantalizing Indebtedness as
to lust where the folding doors are at
tached and how they unfold the gentle
man, but II would certainly pay a live
manager to investigate. Also this:
WANTED-A room for two gentlemen
80 feet long and 20 feet broad.
II there are two such gentlemen in this
vicinity the dime museums have certainly
not done their duty to the city in allowing
them TO languish i'm obscurity while they
palmed off on a long suffering public crea-
lures like Florence.-Brooklyn Eagle.