davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
GentIemen Farmers

Farmer Greene-Oh, yes; there are sew
eral gentlemen farmers" around here
gentleman farmer?"
Farmer Greene-Oh. Teller that knows
enough ter run farm as it Should he
run, and rich enough ter stand tn loss!
Puck
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
Not Even for Ten Minutes.

King Edward. has caused it to be an
nouneed THAR his majesty never ex-
presses an opinion on political matters
except by the advice of his ministers.
1t is safe to say that President Roose-
welt would not swap jobs with the king.
New; York World.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30

Wisdom governs the policy which
says that the Republicans will hold
back all ship subsidy bills until after
the next election. If scarcely the tariff
may be saved. then where would the
ship subsidy appear?
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
The Course in History.

Farragut was fighting the battle Of
Mobile bay.
IT'S no use," cried the Confederates
he must have aboard at least 900 orig
inal men who lashed him to the rnasti''
Seeing the odds We're so overwhelming
they had no alternative but to surren-
der.-New York Sun
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
THEN HE GOT BUSY.

He stole kiss. but strange to say,
She did not bid him stop;
She merely said in a gracious way:
"Sir, this is no retail shop"
Cincinnati ENQUIRER.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
PERSONAL MENTION.

Merchants-7PP. Eeely, Aberdeen; Fred
Shoffer and wife, Calmars, S. D.; W. R.
Terry. Wells; o. d. Gray Helena; w. E.
Humphrey and wife, Seattle; NJ J.
Thompson, La Crosse; Mrs w. d. Mason,
Great Falls; John G. Carlson, Rush City;
E. K. Barr. La Crosse; L: H. Head, Shell
Lake; G. F. Elford, Fargo; John Hitzger,
Winona; T, Mcdonald, La Crosse; c. A.
McCauley, Aberdeen.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30

The attempt to kill President Diaz
looks a little bit as though the Latin
race was becoming FESTIVE in the
Southern Republic.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
Never Settle Now.

''Their ancestors" said the gossip.
"were among the early settlers here"
Strange" remarked the butcher who
served them, chow family characteristics
change. philadelphia Press.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
The crownino Test Of Success cess.

Mrs. Dowie says her husband is 60
ing to try ito perform miracles in New
York. IF he separates Russell Sage
from any Of his money he may consider
the attempt uccessful.-Kansas City
Journal. So
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
New Cabinet for HUNGARY

BUDAPEST, Hungary. Oct 29.--The
new Hungarian cabinet is announced.
Count Stephen Tisza is premier and
minister of the interior.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
Would Seem So.

mo matter what you go to see doctor
about he is bound to end on your lungs"
How is that?'
'fWell, he always makes you cough up."
Chicago News.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
The People Will .Need. IL More.

The wind shield idea is one thing
that should appeal to Mr.. Roosevelt in
his next race.-Atlanta Journal
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30

Let us hope that John Alexander
Dowie is not one of the eminent Chi
cago men implicated in the bribery
scandal.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
Ameer Will Go VISITING.

LONDON, Oct 29.-OficiaI intima-
ton has been received here that the
ameer of Afghanistan intends to go to
India to visit Lord Curzon, the vfceroy.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30

Ryan-HJ pIBullard and wife. Duluth;
]. w. Rowell and wife, Mankato: &C. d.
Ellis and wife, Charles City Iowa; Mrs
Marcus Daily and maid. Miss H. H. Daily,
Anaconda; James Spencer and wife, Man
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
But Truth viii Not Be suppressed.

1t appears that, Postmaster, General
Payne was the one who first decided to
have the rascals put out. Mr.. Payne
has been a, much-wronged man.7a9Chi-
cago Record Herald
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
saddest When lie slnns.

But It is always something in a tenor's
favor that the look on his face gives the
impression that he, too, is suffering
Puck.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
At ST. Paul Theaters

Although no theme has been more
discussed in musical circles in America
curing the last six months than the
approaching appearance of Wagner's
great piece, "Parsifal" but few know
the story and still fewer the marvellous
music to which Wagner was inspired
by the old legend Of the Holy Grail.
The score of the opera is very ex-
pensive and not even the words are
yet printed in cheap form, hence the
opportunity to hear both the poem and
the music of the masterpiece, which
VIII be presented next Tuesday night
at the Peoples church, is one of great
interest and Importance. Walter Dam
rosch and David Bispham are conceded
the ablest opponents of the Wagner
operas, of which "ParsifaP is the
greatest. The sale of seats at Dyer
Bros. is now open.
''The Eternal City" leaves the Met
ropolitan tomorrow evening. This has
been red letter engagement, marked
by superior acting and effective stage
settings.
"The Tenderfoot," the new musical
comedy of which Richard earle is the
principal creator, and in which he
plays the comic role will begin a
=, 0i6eASSiAlCAt az the metropolitan
Sunday evening.
Tonight Eugene Blair will appear at
the Grand as Magda for the last time.
'ZaZa," with Miss Blair in the title
role, will be the bill tomorrow after
noon and evening.
Next weeks attraction at the Grand,
beginning Sunday night, will be James
A Herne's strong rural drama, Shore
Acres
The regular ladies' matinee will be
given at the Star today by the Thor
oughbred Burlesquers. The bill offered
by the company is strong In vaudeville
features and there is much life and
color in the burlesque
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30

Windsor-Nrs. Lucas Kells. E. s.
Thompson, Sank Center; Mrs. L. F. Lam
mers, Heron Lake: Edward Donaldson,
Owotonna; Helen Eberlin, Blue Earth; w.
R. Mansil, Adrian.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30
Or Patent Medicine. Ether

u UeSITT HtSUIOIIIOl EItIISIs
% Uncle Sam viii produce 2,OOO,ooO.o0o
bushels of corn, and Kentucky will see
that it doesn't all go into patent foods.
Star
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30

Next weeks attraction at the Grand,
beginning Sunday night, will be James
A. Herne's strong rural drama, Shore
Acres
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30

Tonight Eugene Blair will appear at
the Grand as Magda for the last time.
"Zaza,' with Miss Blair in the title
role, will be the bill tomorrow after
noon and evening.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30

The denials Of the candidates for the
governorship sound a great deal like
the music produced by the continuance
known as the pianola.-Graceville En-
tarDriSa
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30

The Heron Lake News thinks that
the Mortified News fought to give Mr..
Eddy moral support at least" Of
course, we will give every candidate
for governor the best moral support
we have, but our political support Is
reserved for one candidate.-North-
field News.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-10-30

"The Eternal City" leaves the Met
ropolitan tomorrow evening. This has
been red letter engagement. marked
by superior acting and effective stage
settings.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
"Few and Far Between.n

Drunks in Morristown are "few and
far between" now, the town having
gone "dry" and the liquor business
thereby being compelled to move out
about a month ago. The business of
the city recorder is now practically
suspended as regards drunkenness,
fighting and disorderly conduct, and
everything seems "lovely and the
goose hangs high" Some few drunks
have been reported as a result from ex-
cursion trains from Knoxville. Our
calaboose is empty, the workingman
keeps sober, and the groceryman enjoys
a good trade on Saturday night. This
is encouraging and as it should be. -
Morristown Republican.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
Back From the West.

Lilburn Dunn, formerly a resident
of Washington county, near johnson
City, is a visitor in Knoxville, he hav-
ing arrived yesterday, accompanied by
his family from Sheldon, ILL.,, where
he has resided for some time past. Mr..
Dunn stopped in this city with view
of locating here. He is investigating
lands suitable for gardening near Knox
vile. Mr.. Dunn stated that his trav-
els over the west have convinced him
that there is no country that rivals
East Tennessee for climatic conditions
and general adaptability to the cultiva-
tion of market garden products.
Regarding the present crop condi-
tions in Illinois he said; 81 was we'll
pleased with Illinois, where the richest
farms Of the middle west may be found
but the past few months have fur
nished variety of unfavorable sur
roundings to farmers.
"rhe lateness of springs arrival
causes everything to be retarded. II
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
Cheap Homes in Texas and Arkansas.

Along the Cotton Belt Route-land
that can be bought for $2 to $5 an acre
and up-cut-oyer timber ground that
makes good grazing land, furnishing
range ten or eleven months of the year
farming land for corn, wheat, oats,
cotton-some of it peculiarly adapted
to quick growth and early maturity of
fruits and vegetable, such as peaches,
pears, plums, strawberries, tomatoes,
potatoes, onions, cabbage, melons
finding good markets in the north at
fancy prices, on account of excellence
of quality and earlier maturity than in
other sections. An ideal place for
the man Of small means cheap fuel,
cheap building material, long growing
seasons, short, mild winters-a land of
sunshine and plenty. Let US send you
literature descriptive of this country.
"Homes in the Southwest, " "Glimp-
ses of Southeast Missouri, Arkansas
and N. W. Louisiana" Through
Texas with a Camera" Fortunes in
Growing Fruits and Vegetables"
"The Diversier," q fruit and truck
growers journal.
On first and third Tuesdays of each
month the Cotton Belt Route will sell
one-way tickets from st. Louis, Thebes
Cairo and Memphis, to points in Ar
kansas, Louisiana and Texas, at half
the one-way rate plus $500, or round
trip tickets at one fare for the round
trip plus SO. 90, allowing stop-oYer 60
ing, and 81 days return limit.
For full information, address,
L, w. LABEAUME,
G.. P. & T. A.,
st. Louis, Mo.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
Cures Blood Poison. Cancer. Ulcers.

If you have offensive pimples or erup-
tions, ulcers on any part of the body,
aching bones or joints, falling hair,
mucous patches, swollen glands, skin
itches, burns, sore lips or gums, eating
fostering sores, sharp gnawing pains,
then you suffer from serious blood poi
son or the beginnings of deadly cancer.
You may be permanently cured by tax
ing Botanic Blood Balm (B B b made
especially to cure the worst blood and
skin diseases. Heals every sore or ul-
Ger, even deadly cancer, stops all aches
and pains and reduces all swellings.
Botanic Blood Balm cures all malignant
blood troubles, such as eczema, scabs
and scales, pimples, running sores, car
buncles, scrofula. Druggists, 81. To
prove it cures, sample of Blood Balm
sent free and prepaid by writing Blood
Balm Co, Atlanta, Ga. Describetrouble
and free advice sent in sealed letter.
For sale by Fl. G. Miller.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
Knew The Pulse.

Old Doc Burns had been valued
citizen of little Western town, but
had lost his prestige through an cx-
treme weakness for whiskey.
He was first class doctor when
he was sober; but he was so seldom
in that condition that he couldn't be
trusted with the chills. One day a
man was taken suddenly ill, and as
the only other doctor in town had
gone to the country to see patient,
a hurry call was sent for Doc Burns.
He arrived, drunk, as usual, but as
suming professional air he began an
examination. In trying to find the
patients pulse he got hold of his own
hand, which was lying on the edge of
the bed. The moment his finger
touched the pulse he exclaimed:
"Why, the mans drunk? ?"--Detroit
Free Press.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

Some milk is sterilized and some is
water-cured.
Fortune seldom knocks at the door
of the chronic kicker.
It's strange but true that floating
debts will sink corporation.
Frugality consists in knowing how
to get others to supply our wants.
No one ever heard of love giving a
locksmith the laugh after marriage.
No, Uordelia, an adept in typography
isn't necessarily a successful piemaker.
Some men are high livers because OF
their inability to pay ground-foui
rents. Chicago News.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
DO You Know What You Eatg

If you don't your food does not do you
much good. Kodol Dyspepsia Cure is
the remedy that everyone should take
when there is anything wrong with the
stomach. There is no way to maintain
the health and strength of mind and
body except by nourishment. There
is no way to nourish except through
the stomach. The stomach must be
kept healthy, pure and sweet. or the
strength will let down and disease will
set up. No appetite, loss of strength,
nervousness, headache, constipation,
bad breath, sour risings, rifting, indi-
gestion, dyspepsia, and all stomach
troubles are quickly cured by the use
of Kodol Dyspepsia Cure. Sold by H.
@. Miller, druggist.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
Reflections of a Bachelor.

Degrees of love are like degrees of
women-too many to count.
No girl ever looks as we'll in her por-
trait as she does in her mind.
It's not the shirt waist, but the shape
of it that makes a fool of a man.
All the Investments of married men
are notmade up of home securities.
There is great difference in the way
a woman tells you how she likes you
and the way she proves it.-New York
Press "
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
Chamberlains Collie, Cholera and DiarrhOea
Remedy.

The uniform success of this remedy
has made it the most popular prepara-
tion in use for bowel complaints. 1t is
everywhere recognized as the one rem
edy that can always be depended upon
and that is pleasant to take. 1t is es-
pecially valuable for summer diarrhoea
in children and is undoubtedly the
means of saving the lives of great
many children each year. For sale by
all druggists.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
The Hygiene of Old Age.

We look upon the aged with good
reason as having a slender hold upon
life, one that may be loosened by q
slight shock of injury or disease which,
in the young or middle-aged, would
serve only as O stimulus to the repa ra-
tive vital powers. This is conserva-
tive belief, but 1t warns us to shield
our loved ones who have fought the
fight from all influences which might
shorten their stay with us. But we
must not go too far in our solicitude,
for injury may be inflicted and life
shortened by coddling the old, almost
as surely as by coddling the young.
The vital processes in the aged are slow
but they are still existen, and they may
be kept active by gentle opposition and
stimulation, just as they may be in
creased in childhood and youth by
rough methods. DIR. Caldwell's Syrup
of Pepsin and Herb Laxative Compound
is boon to the aged and infrm, and
probably no medicine has accomplished
so much or received as high or as many
Endorsements from men and women
whose extreme age gives them q seem
ingly slender hold upon life. DIR. Cald-
wells Syrup Pepsin makes perfect di-
gestion and acts gently upon the bowels
in an easy and pleasant manner. Tones
up the entire system and prolongs life.
SOC and 81 bottles. At all druggists.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18

has been the most Improbable year on
record so far in the section between
Sheldon and fairbury, a wonderfully
prosperous division of the state in for
mer years. Illinois is a great resource
ful state, but East Tennessee is good
enough for me-"
Mr.. Dunn's FIRMLY left yesterday af-
ternoon for Johnson City, but he will
remain in this vicinity for a day or so.
Journal and Tribune June 4.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
His Last Hone Realized.
(From the Sentinel, Gebo, Mont,

(From the Sentinel, Gebo, Mont
In the first opening of Oklahoma to
settlers in 1889, the editor of this paper
was among the many seekers after for
tune who made the big race one fine
day in April. During his travelling
about and afterwards his camping up
on his claim, he encountered much bad
water, which, together with the severe
heat, gave him very severe diarrhoea
which it seemed almost impossible to
check, and along in June the case be-
came so bad he expected to die. One
day one of his neighbors brought him
one small bottle of Chamberlain Col
ic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy as
last hope. A big dose was given him
while he was rolling about in great ag-
ony, and in few minutes the dose was
repeated. The good effect of the med
icine was soon noticed and within an
hour the patient was taking his first
sound sleep for fortnight. That one
little bottle worked a complete cure,
and he cannot help but feel grateful.
The season for bowel disorders being
at hand suggests this item. For sale
by oil druggists.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
Superstition and Marriage.

Marry when the year is new.
Always loving, kind and true;
When February birds do mate
You may wed, nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow
Joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can,
JOY for maiden and for man.
Marry in the month of May,
You will surely rule the day.
Marry when June roses blow,
Over land and sea you'll go.
They who in July do wed
Must labor always for their bread.
Whoever you wed in August be,
Many change are sure to see.
Marry in September's shine,
Your living will be rich and fine.
If in october you do marry,
Love will come, but riches tarry,
If you wed in bleak November,
Only Joy will come, remember.
When December's SHOWS fall fast
Marry, and true love will last.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
A SeriOns Mistake.

E. G. Dewitt & Co. is the name of the
firm that makes the genuine Witch
Hazel Salve. DeWitt's is the Witch
Hazel Salve that heals without leaving
q scar. 1t is serious mistake to use
any other. DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve
cures blind, bleeding, itching and pro-
truding piles, burns, bruises, eczema,
and all skin diseases. Sold by H. G.
Miller, druggist.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
Ladies' and Children Invited.

All ladies and children who can not
stand the shocking strain of laxative
syrups, cathartics, etc, are invited to
try the famous Little Early Risers.
They are different from all other pills.
They do not purge the system. Even
double dose will not gripe, weaken
or sicken; many people call them the
easy pill. W. H. Howell, Houston,
Tex, says nothing better can be used
for constipation, sick headache, etc.
Bob Moore, Lafayette, Ind, says all
others grippe and sicken, while DeWitts
Little Early Risers do their work we'll
and easy. Sold by H. @, Miller, drug
gist.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
The GAME OF LIFE.
Supt, John Deacon, of the
Brick Yard, Tells Some
thing About the
Struggle.

A good nights rest. That's the Sc
cret of longevity, work well during the
day, and rest well at night, and sue
cess is yours in life.. But without the
good nights sleep life is full of worry
and discomfort wand pain. Busy men
know this and so do busy women
There's but one thing to do. If you
can't rest well at night learn the rea-
son. Some part of the human machine
is out of order and out of order. Here's
the experience of well-known citizen
who got at the root of his troubles.
John Deacon, superintendent of the
Adams Bros. 4 Payne Brick yards,
and who lives on Walnut street, says:
81 was a sufferer from backache and
pains through my loins and over the
kidneys for period of two years. The
pain was SO bad at times that | could
not stoop and mornings had to roll
out of bed. did not rest comfortably
at night and arose more tired than
when | went to bed. The kidney Sc
cretions were irregular and at times
very scant. l tried several remedies
but they gave me little relief. Finally
| procured Doan's Kidney Pills at the
Patton Drug Co.'s store and found
that they were just what 1 required.
They drove away the backache and
put my kidneys in their normal condi-
ton. To speak of the merits of Doan' s
Kidney Pills in such terms of praise as
they deserve might seem extrsvagant
to others who have not used them"
For sale by all dealers, price5O cents.
Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y,
sole agents for the United States.
Remember the name-Doan's, and
take no substitute.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18

81 can't say I am satisfied with any
of your pavement" said the member of
the aldermanic committee from the
distant city, on q visit of inspection.
"For first-class pavement what do
you consider the best material?" Gan
honest contractor" replied the promi
nent citizen, with a dreamy, far away
look in his eyes. Chicago Tribune.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
A Thonghtfnl Man.

M. M. Austin, of Winchester, Ind, =,
knew what to do in the hour of need.
His wife had such an unusual case of
stomach and liver trouble, physicians
could not help her. He thought of and
tried DIR. Kings New Life Pills and
she got relief at once and was finally
cured. Only 20 cents at II. G. Miller's
drug store.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18

l have practiced medicine for thirty
six years and have consulted leading
physicians in this country in regard to
a remedy for dyspepsia, but have never
been able to find anything that would
effect.a cure until | used Kodol Dys-
pepsia Cure. / had suffered with stom-
ach trouble for years. Gould not eat
anything but milk toast for months,
but since l used Kodol l can eat any
thing, and feel that my health is better
than it ever was in my life. L can not
say enough for Kodol for it has saved
my life, and l know that it will cure
any case of dyspepsia if taken as di-
rected. M. d. Settle, M. D., Big Hill,
Ky. Sold by H. G. Miller, druggist.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18

"I have been troubled for some time
with indigestion aud sour stomache, y
says Mrs. Sarah w. Curtis, of Lee,
Mass, "and have been taking Cham
berlains Stomache and Liver Tablets
which have helped me very much so
that now I can eat many things that be-
fore | could not" If You have any
trouble with your stomache why not
take these Tablets and get we'll? For
sale bY all druggists.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18

Chamberlain Stomache and Liver
Tablets are just what you need when
you have no appetite, feel dull after
eating and wake up with bad taste in
your mouth. They will improve your
appetite, cleanse and invigorAte your
stomache and give you relish for your
food. For sale by all druggists.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18

Mother-Willie, you must stop ask
ing your papa questions. Don't you
see they annoy him.
Willie-No, Ma'am, it amt my
questions that annoy him.
Mother-Willie!
Willie-No, ma'am, it's the answers
he can't give that makes him mad.
Philadelphia Record.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1903-06-18
KOdOl Gives Strength

by enabling the digestive organs to di-
gest, assimilate and transform all of
the wholesome food that may be eaten
into the kind of blood that nourishes
the nerves, feeds the tissues, hardens
the muscles and recuperates the organs
of the entire body. Kodol Dyspepsia
Cure cures indigestion, dyspepsia, ca
tarrh of the stomach, and all stomach
disorders. Sold by II, G. Miller, drug.
gist.