The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-08-09

disregard of grammar and something of the philosophy of Montesquieu, when he said that he attached himself to such as he thought loved him and detached himself as soon as he thought they didn't:-"
 Heres to yon two and we two.
 If you two like we two
 As We two Ike you two
 Then here's to us four;
 But if you two doA't like we two
 As we two like you two
 Then here's to we two and no more. What might be called fair minded toast Is embodied In the words of an old song:-
 Here's to ye absent lords.
 May they long In far countree stay;
 Drinking al other ladies' boards,
 The health of other absent lords. The wisdom of enjoying our golden hour Is expressed by Durant, who says:-
 Long live to-day--our own at least
 Shall we tomorrow seer
 Take what you can of joy and feast
 And et tomorrow be. writer offers a homely ttoast to con tentment' h language that suggests covert threat:-
 No one bulldog yet could eat
 Every other bulldogs meat;
 IT you have a good sized bone,
 Let the other dog alone. The toasts to ''lovely woman" are innumer- able, and range from the fusome to the coldly critical, not to say savage gentle man, somewhat catholic ln hls tastes and of testy humor, Is responsible for the follow ing:
 Here's to women who are tender, Here's to women who are slender. Here's to women who are large and fat g and,red;
 Here's to women who are married, Here's to women who have tnrned: Here's to women who are speechiess-but
 they're dead.
 That time honored bumper dear to the masculine heart,
 To the light that lies in woman's eyes,
 And lies and Hos and llesl Is always more or less annoying to the par tleuar rag and bone and hank of hair at which 1t is directed, but she need only bide her time to raise her glass and send home her little verbal arrow, which, being tipped with truth. always makes It's mark To woman 5 loye--to mans not nkln, For her heart is a home, while his heart Is an inn.
 Some cynlc who looks upon life with jaun- diced eyes has wrltteni-
 Here's to Love
 That disease which begins with fever
 end ends with yawn.
 10 hose who cry "Oat upon such doc trinesl" and who still cherish their Illusions the heart to heart toast will appeal. One that rings true and escapes stiffness runs.--
 To me and you when skies are blue
 To you and me when tempcsts be.
 To both together ln every weather. The ''roast of the Gay Deceiver'' possesses subtle significance: have met many. liked q few; Loved but one-here's to you. Accompanied by properly soulful glance. l of which the habitual slver of little dinners l Is usually past master, this Is generally sue cessful. It takes keen maiden to discover l thnt the loved one may not be herself and that her host has yet kept well within the 1 limits of the truth. A doubtIng Thomas, and selfish wlthal, l drinks to the followlng;- Here's to those who love us,
 Not to those whom we love- For those whom we love May not loyo us. The purely impersonal and somewhat friv- olons toast Is sometimes useful As a sam ple:-- To that curious thing called love, i Wkich comes ike dove From heaven above To some. While to others if fits And scatters their wits, 1 And gives 'em all fits, By gum.
 Perhaps the most gracious md certainly l tbe most concise toast, and therefore re- served for the last, ls.-- May you live as long as you like And have what you like as long AS you liVe'