Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-07-11

Wife tcalmly)-My dear. you forget
,Eat l married you Chicago Daily
News
Making progress: Williams. have
you named the baby YETI" Almost.
We've got the two grandmothers to
gree to arbitrate the case. Chicago
Tribune.
patience-Did you say she came
from fighting stock? Parice-Yes; her
mother and father were both members
IF church choirs in their early days.
Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Creamery DO you think 1t was
an Intentional slight on the part of
Mrs Newrich? Mrs. Park Why. no,
my dear She hasn't been lady long
enough TO know how to be rude
Puck
In Boston; The Policeman-Sa Say, son,
are you lost? Chlld-No, sir. l know
my whereabouts perfectly, but | pre-.
sumo my father and mothe, would like
to be directed 10 where | am,--Kansas
City Independent,
handle that trunk more carefully! The
Porter I'll look out for it, sir. know
a man who let one fall on his toes last
| month, an he amt out of the hospital
et."-Town aud Country.
TO its detriment: Zone thing can be
said about our opcra-houses," remark
ed the Observer OF Events and Things;
too much attention seems to have
! been given TO the acoustic properties Of
! the boxes. " onkers Statesman.
Salesman Recommending blue neck
| tie with large pink spots But
wouldn't you like one like that? I'm
selling lot of them this year. Sar-
castle Customer Indeed Very clever
| All day: Her novel Is not one of
the ephemeral successes" "IndeedW
| "Oh, yes. 1t was published before
O'Clock in the morning, and was not
completely forgotten until quite bit
after O'Clock In the evening Life.
How is your youngest daughter get
! ting on with her musicf" Splendid
| ly," answered Mr. CumroX; her In
structor says that she plays Mozart In
/ way that Mozart himself would
never have dreamed of. Washington
| Star.
How is your daughter getting on
with her music2' "Splendidly," an
swered Mrs Cumrox: she can go to
classical concert and tell exactly
where to applaud without watching
the rest of the audience. Washing
| ton Star.
The Count told enough to be grand
father and after Miss MoneytonJ-I
haf asked your mamma and she gift
her CONGRATULATIONS I-er~-- Miss
Moneyton-I am so glad! But won't it
be funny to call you papa ?-~Lippln-
colts Magazine,
A London clockmaker has placed the
following notice in his window; The
misguided creature who removed the
! thermometer from this door had better
return It. as il will be of no use where
he is going. rs 1t only registers 1875 de-
| grccs. "---AnsWers
! Safety in numbers: Brannigan--
Come home, an teck supper wild me,
! Flanagan. Flanagan Shure. It's past
yer supper time, now; yer wife'll be
mad as halter Brannigau That's
| jlst it; she can't lick the two OF us. -
Philadelphia Public Ledger
| 81 recall a remark that General
/ Grant made to me once at dinner"
said boastful Woodhy Graft. which
was most characteristic Of the man"
IL think / can guess what It was"
said Pepprcy. WHAT Keep the
change for yourself, my man. Phlla-
delphia Press.
How wasteful Of that gardener"
murmurcd the star boarder as he bit
savagely but hopclessly at his aspara-
gus How is thatE" asked the land
lady why. If he had let these stalks
grow one week longer he could have
sold them for telegraph poles Bal
timore American.
Parson Johnson--Ah wish dc mud
ters oh dis congregation would bring
deyr babies to church VIII dem. Nevah
mind how young dcy am, Jess bring
| EN- erlong. If dey am too young To
appreciate dc significance Oh de SER
vice, dey can, at least, yell an keep
de deacons awake!-Puck
The American Father: Ascum An
other baby, and girl this time, Ell?
How does IT. make you feel to have a
daughter? Poplcy--Great, one Of the
first things you think about It is how a
foreign nobleman win come counting
her some day and how you'll turn him
down good and proper Philadelphia
Press.
a heavier loss: Hark In the dark
watches Of the night they could plain
ly hear footsteps In the kitchen. Bur
glars" be exclaimed, hastily covering
up his head "Oh, Henry" sighed his
wife; 81 wish | had your faculty for
looking at the bright side Of things
I'm sure it's that Brown woman try
ing to entice my cook away. "-Kansas