davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05
nEAUs TO ORDER.

Hereafter no Chicago girl need be
without a beau or an escort, unless by
choice. She can now go to the tele-
phone and order a beau for the morn
ing. afternoon or evening, just the
same as she would order block of
ribbon or bottle of pickles. And she
can order just the style of beau she
new frock, or her CONNECTION" of a new
hat. There are to be had long beaus
and short, dark beaus and light; lean
beaus and fat, and whiskered beaus
and those that are clean-shaven. 1t
is merely a case of you pays your
money and you takes your choice"
For some cause or other there seems
to be a shortage of beaus and escorts
in Chicago. Lots of nice girls miss the
fun of going to theaters, parties, etc,
because they have no male escorts to
go with them. Why the boys" do not
step up and perform this function or
duty of their sex is an interesting prob
lem for sociologists to study; we won't
discuss it here. 1t is sufficient to say
that there is a shortage of voluntary
escorts, and as a commercial venture
a corporation has been formed to sup
ply the deficiency. 1t will employ a
number of young men of good address
supply them with the proper clothes to
be worn upon varying occasions, and
hire them out at so much per hour to
women who desire the services of a
reliable escort. There will be nothing
about these professional escorts to de-
note their professionalism, and they will
be selected with a view to pleasing the
patrons of the company.
The possibilities of this venture. as
can be seen, are great. 1t will enable
even homely young women, with in
comes, to pose as popular bellies. At
so much per hour the homely girl can
have one handsome young fellow driv-
ing with her through the parks in the
afternoon and another attending her
to the theater in the evening. etc BY
skillful selection of her escorts she
can create the impression that she is
the most sought-after person in town
and once such an impression gets
abroad the girls popularity is assured.
By this same process lukewarm lovers
can be quickly brought to book by
arousing their jealousy.
And the scheme ought to be a good
thing for the confidential 70 escorts. "
too, 1t would give them a chance to
vie with foreign noblemen and coach
men in making love to American heir
esses.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05
A Comedy in Hats.

Senators Spooner and Newlands I'M
Intentionally exchanged hats in the
anteroom in the White House one day
last week, says the Heralds Washing
ton correspondence, and when they
met, a few minutes afterward, Mr..
Spooner exclaimed Indignantly:
Some good-for- nothing scoundrel
got my hat in there!"
Me, too" replied the new Senator
form Nevada, as he removed a silk hat
which appeared much too large for
him, and looked at it contemptuously.
Mine" he added, was an imported
hat and it cost me $12 This old plug
looks as though it might be a S. tile
marked down to $49S."
why that's my hail" exclaimed Mr..
Spooner, laughing.
And you have mime replied Mr.
Newlands, with profuse apologies for
the reflections he had cast upon the
quality of the Wisconsin Senator's
headpiece. 81 recognize it by the mar
row rim and the black band, while
yours has a wide brim and a silk
band"
Mr.. Spooner has a large head. which
is accumulated by the breezy style in
which he wears his long bushy hair,
which looks as If a Western cyclone
was passing through it without I'M
roofing it. A comedian in search of a
comical stage makeup should have
5een the Wisconsin Senator with the
natty little narrow brimmed hat of
Senator Newlands.
The humor of the situation was not
confined to Mr.. Spooner. Senator New
lands has a thin, closely cut crop of
golden pink" hair. The broad
brimmed beaver of Mr.. Spooner was
prevented from obscuring his face by
the ears Of the Nevada Senator.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05
Sorry to Disnppoint Anybody.

The insurance on Mr.. Hiram Hollis
ter's house expired April 2, says the
Chicago Tribune.
The amount called for in the policy
was $4,000, the period was three years,
and the premium was $45.
On the last day of March Mr.. Hol-
lister called at the office of the COM
pany to renew his insurance.
He received a new policy, paid his
$45, and handed over his old policy.
Il guess won't need that any more"
he said.
you'd better keep it day longer, .
remarked the agent. Your house
might burn down tonight, and if it
does, you'll need it. Your new one is
dated April 3"
Mr. HOLSTER replaced the old policy
in his pocket and walked away.
''If my house should happen to burn
down tonight" he soliloquized, 81
wonder if they would give me back
the $45 l just paid them. There's a
chance for a complication here"
He remarked, too, that he had seen
the new moon over his left shoulder
the evening before.
When Mr.. HOLSTER went to bed that
night the matter had passed from his
mind
About a. m, however
He awoke, heard the loud coughing
of the milkman, turned over, and went
to sleep again.
AS originally blocked out, this story
was to have ended in a fire that de-
stroyed his house and its entire con-
tents, but it has been thought best,
after some reflection, to adhere to the
probabilities. Things don't happen
that way in real life.l
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05

The teaching of the Gospel among
the poor and lowly is sometimes at
tended by unexpected results, says the
New York Mail and Express. One
Jealous young missionary to the tene-
ments makes the following confession:
She had labored long and earnestly
to instill a little Bible history into the
understanding of one particularly OBJ
durate old pagan woman, who prompt
ly forgot the few lessons she learned.
The difficulty of exciting her interest
seemed to be the principal one. Literal
readings and paraphrases alike failed
to reach her sympathies. Finally one
day the missionary put her whole heart
and gift of paraphrase into a recital
of the Passion. To her delight she saw
that her listener was aroused at last
and showed genuine emotion. The re-
cital came to an end, and there was
an impressive pause. The teacher
waited for her pupil to speak first,
and presently the silence was broken
by the old woman, who remarked con-
solingly: "Ah, well, let us hope it
amt fTue -
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05

Colgate Hoyt, president of the Ohio
Society of this city and trustee of
Brown University told the alumni of
that institution at a recent dinner how
an Ohio man is occasionally duped on
visiting Gotham, says the New York
Tribune.
The fellow countryman of Mr.. Hoyt
was walking along Broadway when a
German accosted him by saying:
"Hey, mine frient. viii you gift me
a shew of tobacco ?"
The Ohioan stopped short. and
wondering how the stranger guessed
that he carried a plug of tobacco, re-
piled:
Here's my tobacco. never refuse
any one that wants a. chew"
The German took a good look at the
plug. turned it around several times,
and asked:
Say mine frient, will it make any
difference we're l bite tit?'
Not in the least" answered the
Ohioan.
Den I will bite it on de Brooklyn
britch," responded the German as he
pocketed the tobacco and disappeared
in the crowd.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Springfield (Mass) Republican
Qnd) says: Southern cotton mill
owners are hoping that their interests
will be benefited by the textile strikes
in New England. Perhaps Southern
competition must hereafter be consid-
cred by New England cotton mill com
panies and their help when consider
ing the question of a strike"
The Richmond Times Dispatch
Oem.) says: THE negro problem is
no longer a sectional affair. 1t is the
North's problem; it is the Republican
party's problem as well as the Demo-
cratic party's problem. 1t is more the
problem of the Republicans than it is
the problem of the Democrats. We
Democrats of the South have solved
the negro question politically, and it is
giving very little trouble. But it is up
to the Republicans of the North and
President Roosevelt knows it. And we
are mean enough to be real glad"
The New York World Oem) says:
I'VE have suggested that after having
enriched our vocabulary with the price
less term ''undigested securities" Mr..
Morgan might place us under still fur
Their obligations by giving us its def
milton. Nor need his kindness stop
there. he would do the public a greater
favor still by going on to explain the
process by which securities are di-
gested. For instance. the value of
stocks listed on the New York Stock
Exchange has shrunk to the extent of
about a billion dollars since the recent
boom at whose hight Mr.. Morgan's ia
bic was garnished with so many at
tractiVe securities, or insecurities
What has become of that billion? Has
1t been digested? If so. who has di-
gested it? The United States Steel
stocks have a market value of nearly
5000 600, 900 less to-day than they had
when Mr.. Morgan issued them. Has
anybody digested the difference?"
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05
BRIGHT BITS.

Mere Opinion.-"Any fool can be a
hero to his mother. '-Chicago Record
Herald.
Boys, don't you know it's wicked
to fight? Now, if I were you, I'd kiss
and make up
Say, wot do yous tink dis is-a wom-
ans club?'-Life.
You write your first name very
well, indeed, Miss Pinkie," criticised
the writing teacher, but you make "a
sad botch of the Johnson part of it,
What is the difference, Mr.. Spen-
cer?" asked the pretty girl. Il expect
to change the Johnson part of it some
day."-Chiciga Tribune.
Try this whisky, Colonel" said
the Ohio man. I've had it in the
house for more than fifteen years"
Excuse me-" rejoined the gentleman
from Kentucky, but I'll have to pass
it up. 1t must be something fierce
if you couldn't get rid of it in that
length of time. "-Chicago Daily News.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05
Clerical Puns.

On one occasion at Athy, where Can
on Stavely. the English divine, was
then stationed, he was visited by the
archbishop, whom he induced to visit
a new coffee house which had just been
opened in the interests of temperance,
says London Answers. Naturally the
distinguished guest was served with a
sample cup of coffee. He tasted it,
while Canon Bagot and the mana ger
waited in complacent expectancy of
commentator.
They were disappointed. The cup
was hastily set aside by the bishop,
who calculated, with prolonged and
unmistakable emphasis, "A-bom-i-na-
ble!''
Then the manager suddenly remem-
bered. "Oh your grace" he explained,
"a box of matches fell into the coffee
tank this morning, and I did not think
it right to waste all the contents of
it,"
IF your grace will come again.
promised Canon Bagot, interposing
quickly, II faithfully promise you a
cup of matchless coffee"
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05

The following bits of wisdom are
taken verbation from the Star of
Hope" a newspaper publish n Stag
Sing Prison, New FORK state. all the
matter for it being furnished by the
prisoners:
Live in anticipation.
A good graft beats four aces.
People cannot be fed on texts
Remember you are making your e-wn
history.
Don't lose your temper; this is not
a woman's prison.
People are 81 busy these days that
they haven't time to reform.
Fresh Strawberries and new toTpa-
toes in the New York market-gosh.
Without our all the ra i ads of she
country earned 317.111, 900, 300 during
1902. Think of that and weep.
Don't appear to know it all; let
others have the credit of knowing some
thing, if not quite as much as you
know yours IF.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05
THE MORNING NEWS is published

ThE MoHNiNG NEWS Is published
every day in the year. and served tc
subscribers in tie city. or sent by mail.
one week, is cents. one month. 20 cents
three months. $500, six months, $500
one year. $500.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail, six
times a week without Sunday issue,
one month, so cents, three months, $3.50;
six months. $500; one year. $500.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week (Monday and Thursday. by mail.
one year. S1OO.
Subscriptions payable in advance.
Remit by money order, check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
local or reading notices, amusements
and classified column. 10 cents a line.
Fourteen lines of agate type-equal to
one inch III Depths the standard of
measurement. Classified column adver-
tisements l cent a word each inser-
aion. Every word and figure counted
No advertisement accepted for less than
Is cents week days, % cents Sundays.
Contract rates and discounts made
known on application at business Office
orders for delivery Of the Morning
News to either residence or place of
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 30 Any irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately report
ed
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed "MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, H. c. Faulkner. Man
ager.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05

We regret the statement made in
our columns yesterday in reference to
the Tillman and Latimer families be-
ing pistol toters. We were writing
about the sentiment in South Caro-
lima in favor of carrying pistols, and
referred only to the two young men
of those families who had used pistols
in acts of violence. We do not desire
to do injustice to any one. Hence this
voluntary statement
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05

1t is to be regretted, for Mrs. Roose-
velt's sake, that that lady has decided
against making her proposed trip to
Port Royal harbor on her present va
cation. Had she made the trip, she
would have seen one of the finest har-
bors in the world, would have come
into delightful and health-g giving
spring weather, and would have met
some of the most charming people in
the country
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05

Count BOniface de CasteIane, who
sailed from New York for France a
few days ago, declared himself de
lighted" with his visit to the United
States. and especially with the eager
hospitality" with which he was receiv-
ed at Washington, meaning by the
President. 1t is rather hard to imag-
inc the strenuous, thoroughly Ameri-
can President of the United States
welcoming with eager hospitality
the little dandy that married Miss
Gould.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05

The prosperity of the grain belt of
the West is now assured beyond the
peradventure of a doubt. 1t is said the
farmers are buying lightning rods
again.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05
The weather.

The indications for Georgia and East
ern Florida for to-day are for fair and
warmer weather, with light to fresh
north to northeast winds.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05

Notwithstanding the attacks that
have been made upon the Christian
Scientists, the sect continues to -four
ish and wax great and rich. In Bos-
ton the mother church is soon to be
replaced by a magnificent structure
which will seat 5000 people and which
is to cost 81, 100000.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05

In June bids will be opened at Ha-
vana for the raising of the battleship
Maine, and by September it is hoped
to have the old hulk out of the way
of navigation. The use of explosives
in raising or removing the wreck is
prohibited. If it is possible to float
the vessel. or expose her hull by any
means, it is desired that there shall be
no physical changes in it made by ex-
plosives, so that an intelligent idea
may be had of the explosion that
wrecked her on the night of Feb. Is,
1898.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-04-05

There has been a revival, and also
denial, of the story that the great
exposition at ST. Louis would be post
poned a year and that the gates
would not be thrown open until 1905.
The management has had considerable
trouble in securing labor for the con-
struction of the vast grounds and
buildings, but the work is so we'll ad-
vanced that there seems to be no rea-
son to look for a postponement. In
all probability there will remain much
to be done after the gates are opened
to the public; there always is in sim
liar undertakings. But that there
will be a postponement is denied by
the leading officials of the enterprise.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-06-02
BUSINESS LOLAlS.

An experienced dressmaker is wanted
at 76s Beretania street.
See Morgan's auction column on page
today for sales this week.
Don't miss the sale of ladies' muslin
underwear now on at Sachs Dry Goods
Co.
New line of Panama hats at ]. Ian
dos. also some narrow brim hats for
ladies.
A nicely furnished cottage with board
can be had at Mrs. Angus. at 1881 En-
ma street.
The $500 fans at Ehlers & Co. have
been reduced to $3.50. stock will not last
long at that price.
Don't miss the big bargain sale in
books. 20 per cent reduction in every
thing. William c. Lyon.
Cooks Music School. in the Love
building. will remain open during the
months of July and August.
. Everything in the hat and gents
Z clothing line to be found at Lando's
two stores. ss1 Fort and 152 Hotel
street.
1t will not pay you to repair your
lawn mower when the Pacific Hard
ware Co. are selling them at half price
this week
Fred Philip & Brother, the Bethel
street harness maker, are turning out
some fine work for the races. All work
turned out by this firm Is the best.
Room and board can be had in pri-
vate family for man and wife. Good
location and everything homelike. See
our classified advertisements today.
A public luau and picnic will be held
at Diamond Head Rest on WailuDe
beach, next Sunday. Tickets now for
sale. See our classified advertisements.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-06-02
New Drug Store.

Albert Chambers, who has been with
the HoIlister Drug Co. the past three
years. was a passenger on the Siberia
having been on the mainland sometime
where he purchased a complete stock OF
drugs and chemicals for the new store
to be opened up in a few days in the
present quarters of the Randy Kafe,
corner King and Fort streets. Clerks
are now busy getting things in shape
for the opening day which Will be an
nounced later. The new firm will be
known as The Chambers Drug co.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-06-02
MRS. TOM WRIGHT DEAD.
Former Re sident of Honolulu Passes
Away In England.

Word was received in the Siberia S
mail of the death of Mrs. Thomas
Wright, wife OF the proprietor of
Wright's Villa now known as Waikiki
Inn. She died at Tyne
on May 10 and was buried at Stainerop
on the 18th. The Wrights were many
years resident in Honolulu, Mr.. Wright
being a brother of w. W. Wright, the
carriage maker still here. Tom" be-
bore taking the bathing resort men
toned, worked long at his trade of
blacksmith. He was enthusiastic in
sport, being invariably an official of
holiday field tournaments. The couple
had their share of trouble here, having
lost an only son by an accident in a
mountain outing. Mrs. Wright was in
poor health for some time before they
returned to their old home in England.
She was highly esteemed by all who
had her acquaintance
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-06-02
LOCAL BREVITlES.

Princess Kawananakoa will not re-
ceive this afternoon.
w. L. Moody. Of Honolulu, has the
contract to build the Haiku school
house.
Captain Harry Flint brought two
japanese stowaways ashore from the
Arthur SewalL
Commodore Macfarlane o. La Paloma
protests against the yacht race deci-
sion. claiming a dead heat.
Eugene Duvauchelle received news
that his sister, Mrs. Louise Groves. had
died at Wailuku on Friday.
Speaker Beckley. of the House of
Representatives, is i'll with the dengue
fever at his home in Kalihi.
Warehouse & Co.'S cable report of
Hawaiian stocks is as follows: Hawai-
ian Commercial. $40; Honokaa. s13.
Judge Kalua took home to Wailuku
from the capital plans for the county
building for Maui TO be erected at Wal
luku.
Kamehameha Boys School will take
place in Bishop Memorial Chapel this
evening at eight.
Captain 7. B. Murrays grave was not
forgotten by his loved and loving COM
mand in life. Co. H, in the decorative |
ceremonies OF Memorial Day.
Rev. 1. c. Merserve, D. D.. of the
Plymouth Congregational church of
San Francisco. arrived in the Siberia
to occupy the pulpit of Central Union
church during June and July.
The Executive Council yesterday con-
sidered the question Of turning the
lighthouses over to the Federal Gov
eminent. with an eye to relieving the
Territory from the cost Of their main
tenance.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-06-02
White Skirts

Five lines to be closed out
at the following figures:
Lot l. Regular 75c. quality, sale price
Coo.
Lot .. Regular s125 quality, sale price
soc.
Lot 8. Regular $3.50 quality, sale price
S1.10.
Lots 1 and s. Two styles, regular
1925 quality, sale price S1.S5.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-06-02

Several lines to be closed out regard
less OF value. Note these prices. They
break all previous prices for bargains
in muslin underwear. ~ - - -
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-06-02
Roman Catholic cathe draI

Rev. Father Coleman. Dominican
priest on his way to the Philippines
will give n series Of four sermons at
the Catholic Cathedral on Wednesday
Thursday. Friday and Saturday at
7:so p. m. for the English speaking
people. All are welcome.