davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
PROOF POSITIVE.

Are you skeptical. my neighbor?
Do you really doubt
That a certain brand of tonic
Which the doctors tout
Is the best in all creation?
Hank we that deride;
Jeffries used it in his training
Are you satisfied?
Do you scott at Grano Critic,
Famous breakfast food?
Do you really heap upon it
Criticism rude?
You'd be less pinionated
If you understood;
Jeffries used it in his trainingi
Now will You be good?
Think you Grafterino's breathing
System is a fake.
Just because 1t somehow seems to
Make your weak lungs ache?
1t has gained, despite your knocking
Wonderful renown;
Jeffries used it in his trainingl
Now will you lie down?
Have you battered with your hammer
Bunk's Electric Belt.
For the reason that it didn't
Ease the pain you felt?
You will tumble soon. / reckon,
From the knockers roost;
Jeffries used in while in training!
Now then, will you boost?
Are you busy. bIear-eyed boozer.
Roasting H2O?
Do you shudder when you chance to
Hear the water flow?
1t is cordially indorsed by
FiStiana's sen;
Jeffries drank it while in training
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
Contemporary Comment
Diffusion of Brain Power.


1t must be an unpleasant surprise to
Englishmen to be told by a distin-
guished scientist that Americans are
distancing them in the production of
brain power. The English have been
accustomed to take for granted the SUI
peliority of their university system.
and they will hardly relish this out
spoken assertion of their inferiority. 1t
cannot be questioned that Sir Norman
Lockyer is right so far as quantita-
tive provision for university training
in the two countries is concerned. But
a qualitative analysis of the conditions
governing the production of brain pow
er, if that were possible, would doubt.
less yield result less unfavaroble to
Great Britain. Most Americans would
cheerfully admit that very many of
our so-called universities can be
classed as such only by grace of cour-
tesy or stretch of imagination.-Bost
Transcript.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
The Unspeakahle Turk.

May apologists for the unspeakable
Turk are fond of quoting the lines of
Lord Byron in the third canto of Don
JUAN in his portrait of Lambro. the
father of Haidee:
He was the mildest hammered man
That ever scuttled ship or cut a throat:
With such true breeding of a gentleman,
You could never divine his real thought.
No courtier could, and scarcely woman
can
Grid more deceit within petticoat.
Pity he loved adventurous life's variety,
He was so great a loss to good society.
And yet the Ottoman is out of place
in the Europe of today.-New York
Tribune.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
Increasing Business With the
Globe Increases Business
for Business Men.
SUNDAY, SEPT. 20, 1908.
AN AMERICAN Joke.

1t is probable that a new and flip
pant word will be added Immediately
to the ponderous lexicon of the Lon
don Times. In the past that diction-
airy has known no such word as pipe"
Had it contained such a word, one Of
the most sacred of England's institu-
tions would not now be Offering ex-
plantations to it's readers, for its ed
itor, like the alert editors of American
journals, who have been properly in
itiated, would have smelt pipe" the
instant his eye alighted upon the COM
munication which caused the trouble.
Two weeks ago a man, an American
presumably, sent a communication to
the Times informing it that he. the
writer, had liberated fourteen good
sized rattlesnakes at Barney Castle;
near Cork, just to see if st. Patrick's
edict was a myth or not.
The letter occasioned CONSERVATION
in the Times sanctum. Precedent was
sought for, but no precedent was
found. Never before, so far as the
Times could ascertain, had any travel
er been so audacious as to carry
snakes to Ireland. Or, rather, never
before had snakes been liberated there.
An editorial conference was held and
then the Times Numbered forth. It's
comment concluded with the hope that
the local authorities would give their
attention to the matter.
Three days after the publication of
the letter and the comment on "the
dastardly act" the Times readers be-
gan to suspect joke. The suspicion
grew into something stronger than a
suspicion when correspondents looked
up the address given by the writer Of
the communication and found that no
man of that name resided there.
by giving credence to the joke the
Times has naturally been placed in an
uncomfortable position. A newspaner
that has represented the final word to
its readers since its first issue cannot
enjoy being taken in by snake
story which offers an affront to every
irish reader. For no Irishman he
Heves that. even were a thorsana
snakes taken to Ireland, they would
remain there over night To believe
otherwise would be to doubt tha word
OF st Patrick himself. By intimatine
that there might be truth in the renort
and that the consequence would he
serious the London Times questioned
the faith that is Unborn in every Irish
man. 1t would not be surprising If ire
subscription list materially decreased
But, after all, it is the CONSERVE tive
policy of the Times that saved if frr-
ther humiliation. An American iour-
nal, In spite of the fact that it would
Immediately recognize the commpni-
cation as a pipe" would have nuh-
hshed not the letter alone, but a sketch
OF the snakes, a picture of the man
who liberated them, a picture of RIar-
ney castle and bird's-eye GLIMPSE of
County Cork. BY maintaining a digni-
he'd attitude and simply publishing the
letter with the scathing comment. the
Slip was the less noticeable. And to-
nay, although it may be the sadder. it
Is also the wiser for having learned
the meaning of the word, pipe"
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
AS THE CLUB WOMAN UNDER
STANDS 1T,


Perhaps it was audacity, merely, that
suggested to the programme commit
tee of the Minnesota Federation of
Women's Clubs the insertion in the
that symposium on '@rhe Simple Life"
Perhaps it was merely desire for a
change Of tactics, for heretofore the
club woman has not paused to explain
or to assert or to insist; she has been
a firm believer in the theory that ac-
tions drown the sound of words Per-
haps it was just because-for even the
club woman has not outgrown the most
conclusive and comprehensive reason
that fenininity has yet invented.
Whatever the inspiration, a number of
club women will, next month, give their
opinion of that which the onlooker has
ever maintained the average club wom-
an knows nothing about, namely, the
simple life.
For to the onlooker the club woman
represents the complex-and the analy-
sis has ever baff1ed him. He UNDER
stands the woman of society who de-
votes her days and evenings to dress
pleasure. He knows all about the
woman who works; she's really very
simple, being merely a woman who
must work because no man has offered
to marry her. But the club woman
who frequently represents a trinity of
occupations, society, bread and butter
work and clubs, he cannot understand.
Of one thing only is he convinced Such
a creature can know nothing of the
simple life as Charles Wagner under
stood it.
But the onlooker, because of his very
occupation or lack,is of necessity a critic.
And what the critic does not under
stand, he seldom praises. He has sharp
ened his wit on this extraordinary
| creature and then has sulked because
| she has not paused long enough to ap-
preeiate it. And now he will be dis
posed to believe that she is adding in
suit to injury by discussing a book,
| not because it is to her an incompre-
| hensible thing, but because, presum-
ably, she is able to understand and ap-
preciate it. For though the onlooker
may not understand the club woman
he prides himself on understanding
womankfnd in general and he knows
that the discussion of 1.-THE Simple
| Life" does not mean pat expressions
of a writer's work, but rather a per-
sonaI view of personal matter. He
will not believe that even the club
| woman has gotten beyond that.
Yet were the onlooker less of a critic
and were he unmindful of the fact that
his sole business is to look sharply for
the faults, it would doubtless occur to
| him that only those who can conform
| to the simple dare be complex. The
! simple is the foundation of the COM
pick and unless it is simple, the COM
pick is very apt to fall apart. Every
| club woman who counts as a factor
! represents today the complex because
| she has made her life simple. Her triple
occupations correlate and into her life
| has been infused the charm of variety.
| So it would seem that the represent
| alive club woman is after all the best
! exponent of the simple life-that the
symposium the federation has arrang-
| ed can teach little to the club woman
herself though it may open the eyes
of the onlooker. Indeed, the onlooker
! may be persuaded, if by chance he at
tends that symposium, to put his life
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
The Church and the Law.

By united, concerted effort the
church can re-establish respect for the
law, even should all other agencies fail
No higher duty devolves upon the min
lister of God than to teach respect for
the law, for that is the cornerstone of
Christian civilization. The humber
workers whose fields lie in the sparsely
settled sections of the country may
seem to have the greater duty to per-
form, but city ministers will find in
their fiocks apologists for lynching,
and wherever there are such, mission
airy work must be done.-Atlanta Con-
stitution.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
The Kaiser and Turkey.

In some respects. the kaiser holds
the key to the Balkan problem. He is
interested in the final disposition not
only of the sultan's Asiatic domains,
but of the latter's European provinces
also. If he is opposed to intervention
his influence may prevent the concert
of Europe" or any other group of pow
ers from taking action. The pope's
suggestion to the emperor Of Austria
was made in the interest of humani-
ty.-Baltimore Sun.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
INCONSISTENT Kansas.

1.-The teachers lot is hard enough at best,
we must admit;
She works with fine, Italian hand, and
draws a drayman's pay.
If she can land a sweetheart with her
beauty and her wit,
What right have trustees to butt in and
brighten him aWay2
Oh, Kansas. bleeding Kansas You're an
inconsistent state;
The likes of you exists not here, nor yet
in foreign lands.
Against the matrimonial game you let
your school boards pirate,
And then you make a howl about the
lack OF harvest hands"
-MilwauI0e0 Sentinel
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
ERILLs.

Although the abolition of class day
by the school board seem to the high
school seniorsaof 1903 as an act of cru
city, it is probable that many of the
parents of these same seniors will
breathe a sigh of relief at the thought
that the expenses of graduation will
be materially Iessened next June. The
high school girls Of st. Paul are prob
ably not a whit more extravagant than
the girls of other high schools. When
the newspapers voiced a protest made
against the needless expense of class
day last year representatives. from the
graduating class retorted that the ex-
ira expense was very slight, that when
a graduate had a graduation gown and
class day gown the latter was fire.
quently made by the graduate herself.
And these. representatives stated fur
Their that aside from the gown, the ex-
penses entailed by the extra day were
very slight.
But the question of expense is not
half so important as the question of
extra work. The girl who successfully
completes the four years course in
high school that demands as much as
the Central high school of st. Paul
cannot afford to wear herself out by
adding unnecessary social affairs to
her regular work. And class day which
comes at the end of the course when
the strain has been unusually severe
represents an additional burden. 1t is
a burden that doubtless every gradu-
ate would Willingly bear for the sake
of the fun that there is in it but par
ents are wiser. Judge than the young
people and the placing of class day
under the ban may be ascribed direct
ly to their protests. Everything that
can be done to simplify school life is a
direct gain. physically. for the growing
boy and girls sEvery year in the city
school there are a number of nervous
breakdowns and because of these, many
bright girls and boys have been unble
to finish the course. Too much has
been crowded into their school life and
they have been unable to bear the
strain.
BY doing away not only with class
day, but with the annual athletic ball
and banquet. spreads after operettas
and other entertainments that have
heretofore been in vogue at the Cen
trail high school the school board has
done very wise thing. 1t is true that
college boys and girls enjoy a number
of social diversions, but the college
boy or the college girl is a more ma
ture creature thar, the high school stu
dent. The college student is old
enough to realize how far she NAV go
In the matter of diversions and if she
INDUCES to excess, she does not do 1t
ignorantly. But the high school stu
dent does not possess this knowledge.
She prides herself on being .in' every
thing and before she realizes it is on
the verge of nervous breakdown. But
the action of the school board does
not mean that it will be all work and
no play at the Central high school this
winter. 1t only means that there will
be little less play, little more work.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20

With the fields of the Northwest I'M
der water and frost destroying what
grain rises above the flood there is a
fair prospect of the farmer getting
something like dollar bushel for the
few hundred million bushels of wheat
that he is going to float to market.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
Labor Grafters.

Until organized labor treats its
"grafters" as the criminals they really
are and refuses absolutely to coun-
tenance or be led by them it cannot
hope to command the confidence and
respect of the community, and without
these it viii always be helpless to Sc
cure even. just ognition.-Philadel-
phia North American.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
Trusts and the LAWYERS.

trust crusade has started where
1T was least eXpected-at an American
Bar association. If the lawyers get
after the trusts in earnest they will
make things lively-until the trusts
provide places for them.--New York
World.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
PEARY AND THE POLE

While in the matter of lifting things
generally we seem to be very decidedly
In it, in this country, we still have the
north pole to lift. and one Peary is
again to try his luck in a landable eff
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20

Good beer is sold in Elbestock. Ger
many, for cents a quart, according to
a consular report Has 1t at last come
to this that the men we send to lie
abroad for US become immi grafton
agents for the enemy?
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
Tip for LANGLEY.

Sir Thomas Upton, Mr.. C. oliver
Iselin and other projectors of yacht
races do not go in the yachts them
selves when they are contending for
the cup. Perhaps these examples
would justify Prof. Langley in not
going UP in his own flying machine
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
A compIacent comnarison

My ancestors, you know, came over in
The Mayhower,'" said the woman who
is continually dropping reminders Of her
superiority.
I've heard of The Mayfower.,,' an
swered Mrs. Cumrox 81 have under
stood that the trip was comparatively in
expensive, but the accommodations de-
cidediy Inferior Washington Star.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20

Some base calumniator has charged
Senator Hanna with asking the leader
of band to play "Hiawatha" This is
taking advantage of political rival by
means that should and viii be denounc-
ed by all fair minded men.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
PERSONAL MENTION.

Clinton Ruff. 6OS Lincoln avenue, left
last week for Boston to enter the Massa :
chusetts Institute of Technology His
cago.
DR.. and Mrs. A. R. CoIvin. of ST. Paul,
arrived in New York from Europe yester-
day.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
Among the Merrymakers
HeIpful Hint.

I've got promising colt" said the
morse trainer, that 1 expect to put on the
What do you call him?" asked the
Haven't named him yet Don't know
what to call him.
ri. .Tll tell you. Call him Billiard cue.''
Because he'll always be tipped to win"
Judge
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
! Strenuous Vacations.

Senator Hanna has been taken sick
at the end of several weeks vacation.
Vacations are becoming so strenuous
nowadays that very few can undergo
them without eveil effects.-Indianapo
lis News
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
-Arnor.

..Hoi Caitiffii. cried the sultan. Just
awakened from his sleep, what have YOU
done with my sf1irt?"
@Oh. Higlfhess, replied the Grand VII
zier, ''it will be here Immediately. The
imperial blacksmith has been mending it."
Philadelphia ledger.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20

On simpler scale that more may be in
eorported in It. For the simple life is.
IN the final analysis, the life that is the
ieast burdensome, the most gladstone,
to each individual.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
THAT NAME.

There once VAST Duke of Roxburgh,
Whose farming gas said to be thurgh:
But he hatnessed COW
And horse tofhis ploW.
furgh.
Chicago Tribune.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20

The intihfacy, of things remote in
these mixing and leveling times is
shown by the closing down of mines
because there is, a strike of sailors.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20

The fate that is pursuing the steel
interests does not particularly accent
the presumption that Charles M.
Sehwab, fugitive. was a chump when
he got from under.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20

With some of the feudists leaving for
the Northwest and still others on their
way to the 'penRtentiary, Kentucky will
be as tame place of residence as the
Indian territory with Tams Bixby left
out presently. sis
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20

1t will be worth while watching the
action Of the Jawsmiths' union in the
case of Col. Roosevelt.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
More Appropriate.

Yes, we vent down, to see the launch
ing of the great tramp steamer
What did they christen her with?''
.'Champa gne."
HIM! IF it was tramp steamer they
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
He Is Ubiouito,Is7

Wonder if the devil" will be in Pu-
Htzer's new school of journalism.-Buf-
falO ENQUIRER
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20

Let US quit wasting time with the
sultan and send an ultimatum to the
Bulgarians
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
washington time q p. m. st. Paup
sRise. Fall.

The Mississippi will rise slowly in the
vicinity. of st. Paul during the next thir-
ty-six hours.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20

The Filipino exhibit at st. Louis will
be worth $4,000 at least. Twelve hun
ared natives are coming over.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
MONASTIR.

BulgarlanS Observation-Disclosures. POS 1886
Other nationaIities ............... $40
This comparison holds good also i'm
Adrianople, and the rest of European Tur-
Key. Not only do the Greeks predominant
over the BulgarianS but they are too
intellectually and morally their superiors'
as the greater number Of Greek schools
prove.
An interesting interview appears in
recent issue of Athens a leading news
paper of the Greek capital with Mr.
Burcher. Who has for twenty years been
the correspondent of THE London Times"
sidered an authority on oriental politics.
and has intimate knowledge of affairs in
the East. He says in part:
The latest crimes committed by Bull
gariaus had double object In the first
place, it was to terrOr:ze the local Chris
tian element. and, secondly. to provoke
attacks on the part o. the Turks. Even
If Russia appears to disapprove of any
disorder in the Balkans it must not be
believed that the Pan-Slavfc spirit has
been entirely eradicated from Russia's
ideas remained a dead theory The usual
false policy Of Russia is always apparent
In the Macedonian question. 1.-The legi-
innate interest of Greece is not limited
to Macedonla, but extends to the whole
Of the Turkish empire. in Europe as well
as in Asia Minor
Another interesting and instructive in
tervieW is that which the Rome CORE
spondent of 1.-The Vienna Neue Erie
Presse' recently had with NJ. MetsOpulo
the Greek charge d affafres in Rome. He
argues very logically that the Hellenic
influence is and has always been factor
for education. morality and civilization
NJ MetsopuIo said: I'VE the Greeks.
are the peaceful element in history and we
desire to avoid war inasmuch as in the
present condition of affairs any European
disturbance might mean the end of Tur-
key. We honestly sincerely and for a
deep reason do not want this to oc-
cur
I'm tse event that Turkey should fall.
Hellenism. too. would be severely shaken
because we and Turkey are one The
Ottoman empire is the ancient Byzantine
empire. under another ruler and under
another name. But the substance re-
mains. with the only difference that two
races instead of one now constitute the
majority of the population of the empire
The Turks rule politically. while we rule
socially. We constitute the social body
of the empire. which has endured up TO
this day in Europe as well as in Asia
Minor through the power Of the Greek
element
1.-THE amalgamation of Helenism and Is
larnism was the power which took Turkey
out of the primitive state which We OBJ
serve in Tripoli and Morocco
The New York Tribune. in London
dispatch published yesterday. says: 1T Is
even suggested in responsible quarter
that the Slavs are working with the Bull
garians to convince the world that a
frigntful state of affairs prevails In Mace
donia. and that humanity demands the In
tervAr+inn of the MOVERS
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20
I'd Pays TO Ndvenise
i'm Che Dajgp Globe

The Increase In the Total Cash
Advertising Carried by The Globe
for the Last Six Months Over
the Same Months in 1902:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20

American women in the last twenty
five years have exchanged 5000, 200, 900
in good dollars for about 30 cents
worth of musty European titles and
bankrupt estates. We need a higher
export duty on our millionariesses.-
Bismarck Tribune
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-20

Senator Fairbanks, of Indiana, has
just turned loose an admirable bunch
og bouquets for the newspapermen of
the country. 1t must be borne in mind
that the senator has a political fight
on his hands.-Grand Forks Plain
dealer