New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-09-13

eug Reeres of Bachelor Marveous from Manuscript

the new tenant of the suit, rummaging over
some abandoned effects of the last occupant UNI
earthed an evidently much travelled manuscript
that had always periodically returned to 'he
spot OF its birth. He used to sit up all night
and sleep all day; that made it hard for the
chamber girls but he always paid MS rent VII
time-I'n say that fer him.
What did he do fer q living" asked the ne"
tenant already deep In the manuscript
Wrote. / guess said the janitor Don't
know how he got Twin by doin that. but ne
seemed to. / asked him once what he wrote. ana
he said: Litrachoor when I'm flush; rot "hen
/ need the money He queer like that. al
ways"
why did ne leave this apartment" asked
the other.
Got married last week." said the jantor
The new tenant smiled and put the manuscript
into his pocket. 1t had suffered its last TeJec-
ton
THE MANUSCRIPT
Lest, in the flattering event OF some readers
pushing his way middistance into this discourse.
the cry should be given, as If in triumph OF dis
covery, That is. after ALL the trouble with
him. 1 will state at the outset that 1 am
bachelor and by preference-whose preference
need not be expected to disclose. Let a man
affirm that he is lonely, Disconnected at odds OF
the spirit with his environment and the first
remark his friends address to him in cOnsola-
tion-especally If they be themselves singles
You ought to get married" Flying in the face
of daily example and historical record, they af-
firm, as it were, that marriage is a sure dis
peller of discomfort a panacea for loneliness
and the thousand miserable moods of sadness
the isolated human spirit knows. Now, nothing
is palmer, OF course, than that discomfort, even
IL it vanish like the morning mists at the day
break of matrimOny, too often settles down
again in a good. steady drizzle before noon;
that no loneliness in this lonely world can equal
the void which separates some husbands from
some wives and that spiritual mOodiness ex-
listing before the nuptial day is not to be driven
out of a mans system by the shock of wedding
bells Schopenhauer married would have been
the same philosopher as Schopenhauer single.
Not willing to concede. then. that my moods
suit inevitably, probably. from the fact
that live in state of single cussedness'-as
the good deacon said our President would choose
TO phrase It'll once affirm boldly and deny
that the affirmation should count against me,
that a bachelor
am perfectly ready to admit you that matri-
mony might elevate me, or any other man, into
a sphere Of such serene harmony and peace
that the vexatiOns of mortal and material
vironment would be naught, that New-York
itself in fact would sink so far below the win
dow Of our fiat to tell TO our enraptured
eyes Should we care to raise the shade) but
as q black speck the shoulder of the world
Though l have had little experience in matri-
mOny, il may be admitted without dispute that l
have had quite my share Of experience in these
delectable skirmishes which precede it, and if
have never been mOrtally-I mean matrimoni-
ally-wounded. l have more than once been
sorely hit. have stood on the mount of
an engagement (using the word in its social, not
Its military, sense and looked into the Prom
ised Land. So it well may be. gentle reader
though i buried my hopes bitter midnight
In the Vale Of Moab where weeping cupids
turned the sod and no saw. that too know
the green felicity and the -to-be- forgotten
sweet promise of fruitfuness that land affords
But l only admit this felicity might be. And
do most earnestly protest against the illogical
assumption that because it sometimes is, the
converse proposition is true. namely. that un-
happiness and discomfort the result Of being
single. Because a man drinks whiskey and be
comes joviaL it does not follow that your sober
and melancholy fellow is melancholy because he
Is sober
therefore, once and for all, let US have done
with this worldly. Ill considered rather tire
some advice (menta,ly accompanied with a dis
gusting slap the shoulder this hollowIy
hearty, Get married. old chap and confess
ing fairly that the question Of natrimony is
at best but side issue face the great problem
How to be happy though in New-York
TR,1s la OH