davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1901-1906, 1903-11-06

Another armed crank was after
President Roosevelt this week. His
name was Lewis Branstein of Brooklyn,
N. Y, and he wanted the president to
protect him from gang of counter
feiters.
Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1901-1906, 1903-11-06
Their Third Straioht Win.

The pipe organ makers won their
third bowling match from the reed or
gan makers. Tuesday evening. by a
score of 1896 to 1873.
Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1901-1906, 1903-11-06

In a cable car collision, due to fog
and slippery tracks at Kansas City,
Kan, Wednesday, one person was
killed and 10 injured, four perhaps IA
tally.
Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1901-1906, 1903-11-06

1t is reported that large quantities Of
frozen turkeys kept in cold storage
since last Thanksgiving, are to be
shipped east during Thanksgiving
week, as turkeys are scarce and dear.
Poultry dealers are looking out for
them.
Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1901-1906, 1903-11-06

A team composed of Guiheen. Lin
coin. Hawley. Atherton and Sanders
will roll against team captained by
Leon Parsons this evening.
Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1901-1906, 1903-11-06

Basin, Mont, has been practically
destroyed by fire which started from a
bonfire built by some children at play.
Loss $50, 900
Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1901-1906, 1903-11-06

Israel Zangwill. the author, is tc
wed Edith, daughter of Prof. w. E
Ayrton, of London, Eng.
Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1901-1906, 1903-11-06

Notices signed by John Mitchell, ma
tional president of the miners union,
have been posted in several coal mines
in Colorado, New Mexico Utah and
Wyoming. ordering the men to quit
work Nov. 8. A general strike of
miners in the district is feared.
Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1901-1906, 1903-11-06

Congressman Slemp at Bristol, Va,
last night confirmed the rumor that
Edward L. Wentz the young Philadel-
phia millionaire who disappeared, is in
the hands of abductors in the noun
tains of southwest Virginia and that a.
ransom of 100000 is demanded for his
release.
Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1901-1906, 1903-11-06

Six men were killed and 10 injured
Wednesday afternoon by an explosion
at the United States naval arsenal at
Iona Island, N. Y, one of the largest
magazines in the country. The men
were drawing charges from a con-
signment of old shells. when the ex-
plosion occurred. The bodies of the
dead workmen were frightfully man
gied.
Windham County reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1901-1906, 1903-11-06

dead workmen were frightfully man
gled.
The Colombian government troops
have given up the struggle and en-
barked from Colon and Panama for
Cartagena, leaving Panama in the
hands of the provisional government
The stability of the new republic seems
now assured and the people are jubi-
liant. President Roosevelt is expected
to make a statement to-day regarding
the provisional government and to rec
ognize the new republic. The powers
defer action, waiting for the course Of
the United States.
The death of Mrs. Almeda Hoyt. a
town charge in Westfield, was acciden-
tally discovered yesterday. The aged
woman was in the keeping of Mrs.
Rose Ostrut, who lived just outside the
town and alone with her charge. The
body was stretched on a straw tick on
the floor and was so emaciated as to
suggest starvation. There were three
wounds on the head, any one of which
might have caused death. The case
has been reported to the town authori-
ties. The woman died Sunday but her
death had not been reported.
There were some interesting Develop
ments at Washington yesterday as to
the method of congressional proceed
ure on the Cuban reciprocity treaty,
The treaty will be amended by the SEN
ate adding the words this treaty shall
not take effect until the same shall
have been approved by the congress-"
1t has been generally supposed that a
joint resolution, or bill approving the
treaty, would be all that was necessary,
but members of the house and some
senators take an entirely different
view. They say that a bill must be
passed reducing the duty on the pro-
ducts of Cuba and that every provis-
ion affecting duties must be enacted in
the legislation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26

The Martians gazed in astonishment on the faces of the proud Englanians that were pale with disgust, never dreaming the strangers had ever heard the joke be- fore.
 On their return to earth this incident set the Englanians thinking and they de- cided that they would have an absolutely new joke or expend all their energies in the attempt Accordingly 1t was an- nounced that the savant or other person, be he rich or be he poor, who could get up something new for a laugh would be given honor and wealth without stint if he would only free the world from the stigma of the chestnut" Many wise men cudgelled their brains to no purpose and the Englanians began to give way to dis pair, when a certain recluse from neigh boring city of Englania announced that he had found a new joke. Instantly there was great rejoicing in the land, while ex- tensive preparations were immediately be- gun for the important day when he would make known his discovery.
 The day had now arrived and the re- cluse was already living in state in the otala with the Martians and other dis- tinguished guests When the hour drew near a vast throng of the worlds greatest men surged towards the stately edifee, where a great banquet had been prepared at which the reeluse would tell his new joke in an after dinner speech. Soon the great hall was filled and on all sides there rose noise of many voices About an inn mense elevation the invited guests were seated, comprising all the distinguished men then known to the world At the en- frances and within the walls many thou sands were congregated waiting with vis- ible excitement for the first words of the speaker.
 It was evening. The scene presented in the great banqueting hall of Petrax was impressive in the extreme. Every eranny in the massive architecture of the build ing was ablaze with the blinding light of radium. Wonderful musical instruments discoursed strains of melody that the masters of 100000 years had labored to produce. So subtitle were the chords that the senses were intoxicated The table was covered with viands that only the chefs of a thousand centuries could prepare. As the banquet progressed the excitement be- came intense. Wine had been forgotten in ages past, but each guest was provided with a censer from which curled a thin whisp of vapor. At intervals a philoso- pher bowed his head to inhale deeply of the fumes. Immediately he became de- liriously happy while mentally enjoying
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26
FOUR FAMOUS BANDS.
Sousa, La Garde RepubIicaine, and
 Either Germany's or Engand's.

St. Louis, Mo-, July 26.-Threa of the most famous bands in the world will play prolonged engagements at the worlds fair in St. Louis next year. Four hundred and fifty thousand dollars have been appropriated for music. Sousa's famous band Is already under contract to appear four weeks in May, four weeks in August and another four | weeks in October. Two other famous bands will be secured for terms of eight weeks each. The noted La Garde Repub- licaine band of Paris or some other equal ly famous band of France, will be one of these, while the remaining band will be selected from the best organizations in either England or Germany. In Mexico a spirited rivalry between | leading bands exists as to which shall | have the honor of playing at the world s 1 fair. These bands are engaged in se- | ries Of contests and the one that wins the decision of the judges will play a long engagement at St. Louis in 1904. 1 Concerts will be given by these bands in the mornings, afternoons and evenings in. stands provided at different points throughout the grounds. All open air music will be of popular character, per- formances of a severely classical nature and recitals on musical topics being omitted.
 Band contests will be held during the exposition and prizes aggregating s30, GOO will be given.
 Many famous orchestras will be en- gagged. one of which will be the St. Louis orchestra. a strong body of musicians, most of whose members have played un- der the leading American and European conductors MT. Alfred Ernst Is conductor of this orchestra.
 Organ recitals will be given by the most distinguished American organists and a celebrated French virtuoso and composer will be heard in a series of recitals The organ to be used for these performances will be the largest in the world, being built especially as an exhibit for the exposi- tion. The orchestra and organ concerts will be held In Festival hall, which is in the center of the magnificent picture pre- sented by the Cascades.
 Choral concerts will be given at intervals and choruses from the principle cities of the country will sing on certain days
 The most talented soloists in the coun- try will be heard at the various orches- tra, organ and choral concerts.
 Prizes aggregating $2500U will be given for choral contest which will bring many of the finest singers of the country and abroad together In earnest competi- ton.
 The indoor concerts will be of a more pretentious character, to gain the approy- al of serious musicians. Tn the making up of all programmes bhwever. the very heavy features of music will be eljrni mated. The majority of the visitors to the exposition will be in holiday mood and heavy classical music will not appeal to them. Popular airs, selections from comic and light operas will be the pieces they will probably most enjoy.
 The bureau of music of the exposition is composed of George D. Markham of St. Louis, chief. in supervising charge; George W. Stewart of Boston, manager; and Ernest R. Kroeger of St. Louis, mas ter of programmes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26

Toward the close of the year 1o,000,0OO 4. D., there was much preparation going on in the Englanian city of Petrax. sa- wants and philosophers were assembling from all parts of the equatorial regions to attend one of the most important events that had taken place since the patriarchs started the first assortment of witticisms back in the dim and distant ages when the world was young and there were no rumors of the doom that would overtake the earth when the sun died and the universe was deprived of both light and heat.
 Multitudes continued to pour into Pe- trax for weeks before the great disclosure was to be made. When the appointed day arrived the city resounded with the ex- ultant shouts of the people, and the swish of flying airships was heard continuously in the air above the city where visitors were arriving from distant points on the earth and upon the moon. The delega- ton from Mars had arrived In ample time and was already comfortably ensconseed in the splendid otala of Petrax.
 The first man to discover an absolutely original joke in something less than 10,0oO,- GOO years was going to tell 1t to all the world on this day and curiosity through out Englania was exceeding great. AL though the Englanians had solved every problem that science could offer and read the secrets of the universe with ease they had never made any progress in the joke business. Amidst the splendid achieve ments of this wonderful race 1t seems strange that they had to depend for laugh on such a time-honored "chestnut' as that of the mother-in-law.
 But other worlds were no better off in this respect. When close connection with Mars was first obtained the Martains gave a great feast in honor of the visiting Englanians The wit and wisdom of two worlds was gathered about the board. The Martans had assembled all their most renowned entertainers to do honor to their guests, and among them was Lettex upon whose every word there hung laugh The great Lettex rose with state y mien his hand raised for silence. The Martians, knowing what was coming, waited in smiling expectancy for the Englanians to be eonvulsed with laughter. Lettex told one of his best Martian jests and 1t was concerning-his mother-in-law.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26
The Man Wh0 DiscobeYeda Joke
By ss.s ....PAUL COOK.

the delights of Paradise. As all animals ceased to exist when the sun first began to cool there were no meats All the tood was artificial. but prepared with Sucn re- markable skill that the palate was pleased. There was no Force" and Ralston Five Minutes" was absent. In ages past the Englanians had discarded these relics of a crude age.
 Toward the close of the feast the hurry ing walters began to bring in enormous chemical pies. In that advanced age pies were the proper thing at all state ban quets. but they were not Ike pies we knew 9.99s,00o years ago.
 A great silence fell upon the hall. The eventful moment had arrived when the recluse was to give to the world a new joke. As the old man rose slowly from his seat thousands of eyes were fixed in- tently upon his face. Slowly he raised his hand with a finger pointing toward the main entrance Even the walters now stood on tiptoe, with their pies poised in air. Near the speaker stood a menial, who held above his head one of the enor- nous pastries The recluse began with a deep, sonorous voice: Fellow Englan- ians, don't care"
 A thunderous crash demolished the low CT portion of the banquet table, re-echoing far and wide over Petrax. In his eager
 
 chemical pie and 1t exploded. Pande- monium filled the great hall The building stood Intact, but the crowds made frenzied rush to escape through the doors and every opening that afforded an exit. Soon every Englanian who was not dead or injured had escaped from the building. When the excitement subsided they re- turned to see the ruin that had been wrought within. Where the recluse had stood was a bare spot. Not trace of him remained and the fate of the unfor- tunate waiter could only be conjectured However, soon, an admirer of the recluse discovered a tiny whisp of the philoso- pher's left beard. It was all that was left. This reliet of a man who would have been the worlds greatest benefactor. but who was cut off on the outskirts of eternal fame, was consigned to a magnificent cas- ket. In course of time great mausoleum was erected over the remains in Petrax, and when the Ice belts met about the earth the edifice stood unmarked by the touch of time.
 Never again did any of the Eng1anians find a new laugh and when their doom overlook them in the year 30.000. GOO, A. D., the last joke heard was something about the coolness of the weather.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26
ALABAMA POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE.

Charles c. Thac., M. A., President. Healthfui location; 826 feet above tide-water.
 Enrolled last session, 436 students. Faculty of 16 professors, assistant professors, and IA instructors. Seven degree courses are offered: Chemistry and Agriculture, Civil En- gineering, Electrical and Mechanical Engineering, General Course. Phar- macy, Chemistry and Metallurgy, Min ing Engineering.
 There arc IA different laboratories, in which students work regularly. Military exercises arc required of all cadets physically able.
 Tuition free to residents of Alabama, s20 per year to non-residents. Students board with families in Au- burn, at s950 to $15 per month. Session begins Wednesday, Septem- Der 9th.
 For catalogue address
 VIM. o. ScRoGGS, Secretary,
 Auburn, Ala 6-f8-th su tu-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26
OUR PUZZLE SERIES NO. 1.

BELOW WE PRINT TEN PlcT UREs. EACH REPRESENTS THE NAME OF VEGETABLE THE IS SPINACH SEE IF YOU GAN GUESS THE REST. -...-.. ,.,,, +, ,-
 SATURDAY. AFTERNOON I'll ANSWERS RECEIVED WILL ss POURED INTO BASKET, THOROUGHLY sHuFFLED AND MIXED AND OPENED IF THIS CONTAINS TIE CORRECT SOLUTION THE sERlEs TIE SENDER NIL 55 AWARDED DOLLARS IF TT PROVES NCOhhESls ANolHGn WILL DRAWN, AND so ON.
 THE CONTEST 12 O'CLOCK NooN SAIOhDA4 AND NO ANSWERS AFTER THAT DATE WE. sE NEITHER ANSWER BE CONSIDERED THAT HAS NO eE CLOSED WITH IF THIS PUZZLE CLIPPED FRo.l THE IN A PLAIN SEALED ENVELOPE Ap pREssEp 10 TIE GUESS EDITOR CARE AeE-HERALD.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26

The finest stock company in the south at Aquatic thea tre, East Lake. Performance every night.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26
WOMAN WINS THE
 PUZZLE CONTEST
ADELE F. HocHsTADTER GUESSED ALL OF THE PUBLICATIONS AND IS AWARDED THE WEEKLY PRIZE OF FIVE DOLLARS.

Adele F. Hochstadter, No. 1616 Sixth avenue, is the winner of the puzzle series of last week, sending to the Guess Editor the following correct answers to the series:
 No. 1-Sportng Life. No. 2-Iudge.
 No. 3-Cosmopolitan. No. 4-Arena.
 No. 5-saturday Evening Post. No. 6-Lippincott's
 No. 7-Harper's.
 No. Scouting.
 No. 9-Ladies Home Journal No 10-St. Nicholas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26
BoscobeI College FS0SS FSSaSyItPPf yHyEP flApIESs. Y.sS

Situation ideal. Magnificent campus of stately forest trees Handsome brick buildings, commodous and well-equlpped. Faculty of eighteen officers and teachers from some of the best institutions in America and Europe. Four literary de- grees. Unexcelled advantages in Music, Expression and Art Next session opens Thursday September IT.
 Write for catalogue to c. A. FOLK, President. 7-18-su-tu-thu-12t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26
10000 ACRES COAL LAND
 FOR SALE!

We have 10000 acres of very desirable coal lands for sale. These lands lie along two different systems of rail ways; several openings and some mines in operation on the property; veins 36-inch, Az and 6 feet Can be bought at a bargain. For full par ticulars, address
 THOMPSON REALTY CO, Rooms 2lO-ll Title Guaranr
 tee Building.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26

The Tennessee Coal, Iron and Rail way company last year produced 17O 340 tons of steel ingots at the Ems ley plant. The production for the first six months of this year has been 94. 522 tons. The small steel plant at the rolling mill produces about 7500 tons of steel ingots annually.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26
University of Alabama

Established 1S31 Enrolment to Date 1000.
 JOHN w. ABERcRoMBIE. Pres. Forty officers of government and in- struction.
 Enrolment for last session, 375 Excellent laboratory facilities. Good gymnasium.
 Graduate and undergraduate courses in thirteen academic schools. Professional courses in Engineering, Law. Medicine and Pharmacy.
 Considering advantages offered. cheap est school in south.
 Tuition in academic department free to Alabamians.
 Next session opens Wednesday, septem- Der 9.
 For catalogue, address R. T. MAJORS, Sec'y. University, Ala.
 7-920t- th-su-tu
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-26

Keep cool. Buy an electric fan We have the best and cheapest. United Electric Go.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-04-20
A PROMISING ATTRACTION.

1t has been left for Opie Reed, the
novelist. and Ed. Redmond, the actor,
TO give to the public afresh the story
of the Alamo with all its heroism and
valOr. !,
Mr.. Reed, in his story, THE Alamo,
has woven around the historic Texas
shrine of battle a romance equal to
that which might be centered around
the greatest seige in history: MI.
Redmond. in his portrayal of the char
acter of Davy Crockett in the play by
that name, clings to the historical
traits and deeds of the hero OF the
ls.lamo. Mr.. Redmond and his excel
lent company will be at the Duncan
opera house on April both; also May
LIST and End. in For Loves Sake.
and "A Mountain Girl
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-04-20

mediately and organized as q BODY
by elec;ing d. T. Hoskins president
and c.. G. Gise secretary.
J.. ID. w. Veeder was appointed d
committee of n to procure a capy
Of the Law authorizing the building
of the road. in order that the commit
tee might work within its limits ana
to write the mayor of Santa Fe to In
quire what had been done over there.
He was also authorized to notify
Santa Fe that this committee a
asked the Santa Fe railroad TO 1urh,
ish the engineer to anu
make the survey.
III. w. Kelly was appointed a com
mittee of one to take up the matter
with the railroad company looking 70
an immediate survey. after which the
meeting adjourned subject TO the
call of the president.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-04-20
EAST SIDE CATHOLIC CHURCH.
Opening of the Mission Given by Rev.
Father Barry, S. j., OF
Denver, Colo.

High mass was celebrated by Rev.
r. J.. Mccormick, j. F., of Mobile, Ala,
attended by a large congregation. The
music and singing were worthy of the
occasion. nj. Stoecklin's in B.
fiat was most beautifully sung by
the choir. Father Pouget, the rever-
end pastor, was leader. AT the offer
atory Hope Beyond" by White, was
beautifully n The singers OF this
somewhat new Catholic music were
Mr.. CLYDE Graham, who is noted for
his sweet b%aratone voice, and Father
Pouget, who assisted with a pleasing
tenor.
The choir was composed of the fol-
lowing members: Misses Katie Bach
galupo, Mollie Kennedy, Bessie Floyd,
Katie Birtchell, Mary Birtchell, Lou
| isa Watrous, and Mrs. s. A. MOTIFS
as Mrs. S. A. Clements,
| Mrs. II. Kastler and Miss Maggie Ken
| nedv as altos. Mr.. T. ChacOn sang the
| tenor part and Messrs. Clyde raham
| and f. Spietz were the bassos. MISS
Loyola Dillon presided at the organ.
At the end of mass Rev. Edward
| Barry. S. j., the noted and eloquent
| missionary of the west and outhwes
| preached a forcible sermon on me
| Needs of a Mission and the benenl
| 10 Be Gained by Attendance Taereat.
| He held his auditors closest attention
for thirty-fve minutes, and all who
| heard him determined not to miss any
| of the lectures of the following week
| and decided to invite all their FRIENDS,
both Catholics and non-Catholics. to
do likewise. -
The subject of the lecture for TINS
evening is Who and What isChrlst!
The following order of exercises
will be observed during the mission:
$50 a. m.-Mass and short instruc,
t;on. Esss
400 a. m.-Mass and sermon.
AIS D. m.-Stations of the cross
ard c%hildren's mission.
1880 D. m.-Beads, lecture, benedic
ton of the most blessed
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-04-20

Yesterday Chas. ilfeld, the plaza
merchant, with the aid Of a pleasant
party OF friends and relatives. cele-
brated his fifty-sixth birthday most de-
iightfuily. In the morning a drive was
taken To Trout Springs. MIR. Ilfeld's
beautiful summer home. There the
greater part of the day was spent.
In the evening a party in honor of the
anniversary was given at the home of
Mr.. ard Mrs. Ludwig Ilfeld. The little
affair was charmingly appointed A
host of friends in the city will add
their congratulations and good wishes
To those expressed last night for the
future well being of the popular gen
tleman. May he live long and pros
per-"