New-York tribune., 1903-05-02

Western farms may be got from the fact tnat an
Iowa ranch employs college professor as its chief
herdsnan Professor F. r. Marshall assistant
to the chair of animal husbandry at the Iowa
Agricultural College. and his new place is in the
livestock division of the famous Brookmount Farms
soNNETs OF CoMMUTER.
How rarely men are able to toresee r. o,.s
The woes or JOYS an hour may bring! IL cnanced
/ pulled my chn-not having a goatee-
Then n ss say ysoP obe that sy1 ya%e
Up out of deep and soulful eyes at me-
The train we waited for came with whir;
The people. like stampeded cattle, rushed
Pane the bech @ for
Her Her DAINTY oa s99yf @ asfI[ ank e S sweey bahed
I followed after her. halted where
Two empty seats remained tr across ST the ais aisle
The train rushed to the haunts Of toll and care.
Her poise splendid and her face was fair.
1 fancied once saw her family smile.
When suddenly she caught me gazing there
The ride that oft had sesmfd stood 80 ssae before
And then@ah, Fate, thou WreckeT Of mans pride
I trod upon her trailing skirt and tore
rip that looked about fathom wide
-tChicago Record-Herald.
The following is society item from 1.-THE Hunter
(OkIa.) Enterprise: "One of our smart young men
recently tried 10 KISS a girl ne was sweet on TOT
the first time. In order not to seem too willing.
the young lady smashed him with fatiron. And
for that only he Tilted her on the spot. and has
not been back since. Fickle young mani"
But we've shall 6f not begin 81, our married life with
mo dearest" he rrurmured; there's plenty of
ime.''-Pittsburg Gazette.
The Editor of "The Villas County CW1s) Demo
crat'' has evidently gone f1shin'," If one is to
Judge from this rather remarkable editorial which
irfO tIa 1i1I1t TN rH tn he
space we had last week which we going to
say a little to our taxpayers. sorry to say
that the person which was and did want to write
It, has not shown up around here this week. and
I. myself. would like to say. do not think am to
blame for I not, some may think 1 done 1t just
to fill up space as I had tell already
and I pleased to know that he knows more
about my business than I do and If this party
doubts it the least I wish he would come to my
office and I will prove to him that he is In the
wrong. I don't want all Of my readers TO
think I relating TO any of them, for the per-
son mean is not reader Of the paper"
Willie's Safe Hit.-Mamma-Willi what do you
think of the boy who will make an ugly face when
Wilie-I should say that he shows evidence of
very bad taste.-(Baltimore American.
The town Of White Pigeon. Mich. claims to be
run as cheaply as any town in this country Last
wear il cost the 500 inhabitants 81 3 for expenses
The Health Department spent 81 25 in addition to
the health officers salary OF s20 the Police Depart
ment appropriation was 30 cents; the Fire Depart
ment $50 Two OF the big items Of expense
s145 for ground mole bounties and s125 for wood
chuck sca1ps. The town should have economical
in these as such outlay very reckless
The deacon said: Now Wen sing hymns;
You should rise when you sing, Mrs. Symns."
And said: rise will mott
-(Houston Post
Chicago has some benighted aliens among its
hayp aLnu c1x-
the stock humor about the lightness OF the mar
riage bond in the great Western town. This was
revealed when Anton Kovansky and Mary Colukous
were taken into court and charged with bigamy.
Kovanskv admitted that he has wife and child
in the Old Country The woman also admitted that
she was married, but both insisted that this fact
had been made known Justice Murphy before
he performed the ceremony.
I'VE told him married" declared Rowan
sky. I'VE were told by friends that the law
in America was different from that In the Old Coun-
try and after six months of married life We were
at liberty part and remarry-
II is said that many Lithuanians have in their
simplicity taken this jest as the law of the
land and have accepted the institution of
the blessings Of American liberty.
Swap Pappoose for Dog.--An Indian sauaw in the
Caddo country took fancy to 81 Charles
fbe owner Of and offered trade her pappoose for
the dog The Snowman refused to trade - and nd the the
bringee no land"-(C q. T9 Courier
The Iowa Indians in Oklahoma have bedduilt
that is novel in the extreme. and not the sort or
thing a man would wish to sleep under 1t Is five
feet square and made entirely OF human scaips
It is one of the most sacred relics or the trioe ana
is supposed to cure any disease
rD,, o.ar and set w.. Drink milk and get
tuherculoss. Drink whiskey and get the Jifn1an1s
Eat soup and get Brghts disease Eat meat ano
taxemia Eat vegetables and weaken the system.
Eat dessert and take TO pareSis. smoke cigarettes
and AL aarjv Smoke cigars and get catarrh.
Drink coffee and obtain .yous prostraton. Drink
vine and get the gout In order TO be entirely
hesItbv one must eat nothing. drink nothing smoke
nothing and even before breathing one shoulo see
W.Tld.