Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-11-14
WANT 70 ride FREE

-
"If all of the ingenuity. adroitness and
sheer nerve that are utilized every year by
persons scheming to extIact passes from
railroad companies could be assembled and
directed toward the achievement of some
one great object-the devising, let US say,
of a practicable flying machine-I can't see
how such purpose could possibly fall of
accomplishment" said weil-known rail-
road official. RAILROAD men are often
tempted to suppose that there must be
thousands OF persons in this country VINO
lie awake O. nights for the purpose OF
studying out new plans for obtaining free
railroad transportation for which they have
little, II any, use. Their one Idea Is to get
hold OF 1t. They are willing to take a
chance on finding use for 1t afterward.
The mad desire to get something Tor notn.
Ing. which Is pretty prevalent In the world
today. is nowhere capable of more striking
exemplff1cation than in the letter files or
a railroad passenger agent. Let me Illus
trate:
Several months ago a Baltimore citizen.
perfectly we'll able to pay railroad fare to
whatever point he cared to visit, and pos
sessing no possible claim upon any rail-
read for free transportation, applied by
letter to Baltimore passenger agent for
a pass to New York and return. The rea-
son he advanced why he should be fur
nished with transportation to and from
New York was so palpably himsy that his
request was firmly, but politely, turned
down by return mail
"A week or SO later he sent another writ
ten request for the transportation to and
from New York. presenting this time lit
tie better reason for the granting of the
request by the passenger agent. But the
reason wasn't quite good enough, and the
request was again refused. Three days
later the mans application for the pass to
New York and back was granted. He had
applied for the third time and gave some
facts, figures and references, all Of which
were verified. that made 1t out of the ques-
ton to refuse him again. The complime1-
tary pass to New York and return was ac-
cordingly sent to him.
TT came back to the passenger agent by
return mail. Accompanying it was this
gloating note:
F" Well. got 1t, didn't I? just wanted
to see If could. that's all, and 1 win. I
don't want to go to New York, and so re-
turn the pass
II don't profess to understand that sort
OF persistence, employed. apparently. for
no other purpose except that of achieving
bloodless victory over hard-pressed pas
senger agent; but that there are slews of
people who poster the living souls out of
railroad men for transportation without en-
PERTAINING anything but the most remote
idea Of really utilizing the transportation
after they succeed in wringing 1t out OF the
railroad folk no man wi has ever been
connected with the pass niger department
of railroad will deny.
mot long ago a man in southern city
tackled passenger agent for transporta-
ton to Philadelphia and return. The pas
senger agent had never seen or heard tell OF
the man before. and so it was no mere mo-
tive of curiosity that prompted him to In
quire Of the fellow upon what ground he
was applying for free transportation.
WELL replied the man who wanted to
ride free, I've got a dog that's walking
ad. for your line O. cars
Have heyT said the messenger agent.
willing to examine the works of new
scheme for the manipulation of the free
pass dodge. Let's have a look at your dog.
How does he advertise the road?'
1.-THE man went to the door and whistled.
and presently there came Sinking into the
passenger agents office common, under
fed-looking mutt.
''The dog proved however. to be quite In
telligent for a hopeless-looking cur.
The man who desired the railroad to
ride him for nothing had hastily devised
blackboard, about two feet long, under his
arm. On the writing side Of the black
board he scrawIed, to the right, In big
printed characters, with a piece OF chalk,
the initials of the name Of the railroad over
which he was trying to get the free trans
portation To the left of the blackboard
he scrubbed the initials of the name of
the competing railroad out of the town.
Now, Towfe, saM the man who wanted
to ride gratis WHAT'S the. best railroad to
ride e!1s on to Phlaasaelrelag o.,, r,a,+ -. %,
~
and pointed d the fighp side of the black
board ind barked feeblE "a J..
s"'See?'l said the Man.f tfiumphantly.
Great scheme for your,road, isn't it? You
I'll stand over in front of the depot Of your
rival road and work this blackboard trick
for a whole day. Look how 1t I'D build UP
your local business?
''Then the passenger agent gently but
determinedly nudged the man with the
unique advertising dog toward the door.
and the man went down the street with the
most abused expression imaginable.
mot so long ago New York man who
wanted transportation to st. Louis and re-
turn submitted, in letter, scheme to a
passenger agent.
wrote, and If you give me the transporta-
ton 1 request I'll send 1t mile in the air,
some day when get back from St. Loo, and
then run upon the cord a lot of streamers
with the name Of your road painted on them
in large letters. 1t will be a big advertise
ment for your line. and won't cost me
anything except for the paint to make the
streamers-I can paint 'em myself. Isn't
this idea worth a ride to st. Loo and hackT
He was told. in return mail letter,
that 1t wasn't, and as he wasn't heard from
again 1t Is presumable that he is still sulk
ing and swearing eternal vengeance against
the road that couldn't see his plan.
"Once In great while, however, the free
ride applicant has joke on the passenger
agent. At a meeting Of passenger agents
not long ago one of them told one on him
self. He had been elevated from the posi-
ton Of superintendent Of a passenger divis-
ion for an eastern railroad to that of as
sistant general passenger agent Of q line in
the middle west He had never met any of
the officials of the road that gave him the
lift in position On the second day after he
took hold of his new job countrifed-look-
ing old man with bulgy store clothes and
a considerable suit of tangled white Gal
ways clomped into his Office and said:
"'Young man. will you be good enough to
fix me out with ridin' from here to Omaha
an back?'
1.-THE new assistant general passenger
agent looked the Queer-looking old man over
amusedly.
Perhaps, first, gran'pa,' he said, you'd
better tell me what makes you think you're
entitled to ''ridin' from here to Omaha and
back on this line of cars?
"Oh, nothing, 'ceptin' that I'm the presi-
dent of the road replied the countrified-
looking elderly man, with a broad smile.
And that's what he was
Wonders Of the World.
From the New York Press.
The seven world wonders of antiquity
were:
The Pyramids. Babylon's Gardens. Maui