Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-08-22
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Niola-Why did they separate? Myr-
tle-Nobody knows, ViOla-How dread,
fui.--Judge.
What's the trouble. WilleT' said
Mrs. Brown to her small son. who was
crying. My kite won't fly" sobbed
Willie, land made it out of fly-paper.
too"
What are the last teeth that conner
asked school-teachcr of her class In
physiology. False teeth. num-"
quickly replied one of the smaller pu-
pills.
Teacher-Now Tommy, You know it
is impossible to be in two places at
once. Tommy-Two places? Why.
pop is at Thousand Islands now.-Chi.
cago News.
Rlink-"What Kind of n cigar is that
old man| Blank called The
Soldier Boy" BlinE-"H'm! no.
tice it belongs to the ranks" s. Chicago
Daily News.
He-"Spendthrift's got himself in
pot of hot water" Shc-"Playing with
fire AGAIN. He-"Nes; two of his
flames met last night. Woman's
Home Companion.
Miss Gabble seems to be a pleasant
| person to talk to-" Huh, she doesn'e
seem to think SO" why -er-how do
| you meanY she seems to think she's
n pleasant person to listen to-"
II wish to marry your daughter"
said the young man. The old man
was a sensible old man. Can | sup
port you in the style to which you have
been accustomed?" he asked-Puck.
! Old Maid (who wants a portrait of
her dog)-"Do you take instantaneous
photographs here?" Photographers
Boy-"Yes, ma'am; run right In, ana
he'll take 1t afore you're minute
older"
Hundtswill-"It seems that In all
railroad accidents the first and LIST
cars are always the ones that are In
Jured." 0'Rourke "Shure, an won
der why they don't lave thin two cars
Off the train entoirely"
Young Bride pouting) Here we
have only beer married two days,
Clarence, and you're scoldlng me al
ready" Husband-"I know, my dear;
but just think how long | have been
waiting for the chance Tit Bits.
"Wel, well," said the old lady living
inland, when she heard that her favor
lite grandson was going to Europe, Pm
glad that it's now he's going to cross,
for it's been n dry summer, and the
sea won't be so deep rs common"
This offer of your heart and hand Is
very sudden" said the summer girl,
but l will take IT. Abr gasped the
swell dry goods clerk, badly ratified
will you take il with YOU or shall
send II home Philadelphia Public
Ledger.
Towne-Hc's very wealthy. Mrs.
Towne-Yes. and very stingy and eco
nomical. Towne-You don't know that.
You mustn't judge man by his
clothes. Mrs. Towne-Certainly not;
I'm judging him by his wife's clothes.
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs, Newed--My husband l regret
to say. Is man of very poor taste.
Miss Singleton Well, you ought to be
thankful that such is the ease Mrs.
Newed-Why so2 Miss Singleton
Otherwise he would still be in the
bachelor class.--Chicago News.
Chollie--"I went down to rather In
formal affair last evening, my denh
boy, and gwaclous! / was compelled
to witness n sickening sight" 'IIor-
rors! What was itY' "A fellow with
out evening dress eating breakfast
food for supper Baltimore Herald
Mamma "Oh, you bad boy! Where
have you been all this timer Don't
you think you should be ashamed 10
worry your mother soY' The Boy
well. mamma, I'm willing to be
ashamed that / worried you II youll
promise not TO tell pa anything thafli
worry me"
She had been giving her class OF lit
tie girls a history of the Mississippi
River, and incidentally stated TO them
that the word mississippi" meant
Father Of Waters" one Of the small
est tots in the class, after hearing this
statement, raised her hand and said:
Miss Johnson, If that name means
Father Of Waters why didn't they
call the river Mister Sippi"
Mr.. Potts Ito his wIfe)-My dear,
the air Is chilly. Fermez In fenetre
The Visitor (sotto yoce)--Why do you
ask your wife in French to shut the
window? Mr.. Potts (ditto)-Because
you are here. If | asked her In Eng
ish she wouldn't do 1t, as she won't
take instructions from me before yis-
itors. But II / say 1t in French she
gets up and does it at once, so az TO
let you see that she understands the
language. Pick Me-Up.
All" says the kind nelghbor on the
9th of July, 81 am glad to see you
without a scratch to-day, While.
Where are all your folks?" Papa Is