New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-10-27
An Involuntary OlfOe Branch.
The Story of a Mutual AHfpatly-
IN THREE PARTS-PART III.

Tommy was immensely taken with his new
weapon that he absolutely declined 10 take any
other club out with him. thereby dispensing with
the assistance OF caddie. whom he pleased 20
define as "a dirty little scouudrei who paid lot
for putting you of your game by grinuing at you
The new departure in the way OF employing IN
orthodox methods vas so far crowned with
cess that Tommy distinctly improved his earlier
performances and BY the end OF the third day
was becoming very deadly the putting green.
Remembering our own course at the park
yet in very primitive stage Of development and
that owing to good deal OF rough ground and
long grass, highly scientific PLAY was rather at a
discount I began 70 think that there was some
method in MS madness. and that uibiick might.
IN his hands. prove more useful implement than
il is generally supposed to be
Not Goliath Of Gath when David advanced 70
the attack with sling. was more couternptuOusIy
Indignant than our good Major at the appearance
Of the niblick. the introduction % which he re-
sented as violation OF the laws OF the etiquatte
of the game.
Haven't you got caddie. LowndesT' he IN
quired.
Don't want one thanks"
Are you going TO carry your own clubs. them
We'll yes I am going TO carry my own club
replied Tommy. accentuating the singular number.
But you are not going to play through the game
with that thing7'
That's just where you're wrong Major. be-
cause am. There Is no rule against it in my
book
The Major frowned. breathed hard and for
moment seemed inclined to argue the point. How
ever. he thought better OF the matter, and walked
of to meet bis groom who had appeared in the
distance. carrying a Formidable array OF clubs
First blood for me George" quietly remarked
Tommy I've got book OF the rules in my Pock-
e. and know most Of it by heart wasn't going
10 have the old man nventing az he went on
They halved the first two holes the Major won
the third. and at the fourth came the first appeal
TO the referee, in which capacity was called upon
to act.
Here. say. Major. that went dor Tommy
exclaimed. a his adversary having driven his
ball into some water, claimed the right Of lifting
without a penalty.
Casual water" calculated the Majer; most
ordinary bylaw
Casual water be hanged retorted Tommy.
That pond has been there for the last twenty
years, 10 my certain knowledge I used 10 come
and catch tiddlers in it VIZ 81. l was a Kid"
In a pond, possibly. or even in the pond but not
in the overflow OF the pond. There is a very great
distinction between the two The Nile for IN
stance. my dear Lowndes," continued the Major
aggravatiugly didactic, being fed by two great
lakes, IS subject yearly foundations: but even
those would come under the heading OF casual
WAFER, as being only existent at certain times OF
the year II, th2t Is, we're to drive my ball INTO
You'd have made a deuced fine driver inter-
PoiiaIed tommy; oy way OF SUPPLYING an aI2dosis.
lesson! Let's refer it to George''
As the pond had evidently been considerably en-
l gave the Major the benefit OF the doubt. and al
lowed him 10 lift. But, attempting to use his
his ball badly. and there was no doubt on tnis
occasion about its having found its way into the
Ours was a nine-hoIe course. and when they we're
cIired ~ fa1c o ION NJ siS bl5c He-esbfs
however, in the, game he began to have al the
IN the matter of two stymies, one laid by the
the very next hole his opponent was by the mereSt
fraction OF an inch entitled to have the bah lifted
WHAT rotten rule exclaimed Tommy. 7 sup
pose that is where the delicate and scientific side
being allowed to make the difference OF two holes
i an afraid my dear Lowndes tnat We can
individual player, Speaking from personal point
nv ball for YOU on the last green But. after al.
golf is goli. and We must play the game mat
At the next hole, the. longest on our course.
there was another incident, and AGAIN , ioLnl,y
70 be his best drive Of TIE day. the bail going on
that astonishing uiblick hard and straight al the
sort OF angle one associates with a good stroke
from wooden club UnfortlInately at the very mo
nent of his addressing the ball. an errant donkey
which varied its time between drdwlng me now now
ing machine over the greens and grazing me more
Iuxurant grass. took It into his perverse head TO
walk straight across the line Of FIRE
II would he a hard matter to decide whether
Tommy the donkey was the more annoyed oy
full flight with his 6ony hind quarters squealed
loudly. kicked up his heels and ned monuments
bali rebound off the donkey's stern into patch OF
long grass. threw down his club. and anathematzed
the innocent cause Of the uishap-
D YOUR donkey. Maori" he exclaimed He
has spollt my drive. am not likely to make such
4 am afraid You won't get chance till the next
that's what we call d rub Of the green
Rub of the donkey, more likely was the angry
retort You don't caH DONKEY 'ne green 20
well. its technical phrase for any unforeseen
So explained the Major, and when Tommy ap-
With face OF disgust, Tommy picked up MS CLUB
and walked after ais Pa To- ma n yls s some
of 4 small circular patch OF tough stalks OF halI
What the dickens do do now" inquired the
aggrieved player. 4 don't lose stroke Ter hitting
There's no question Of lifting unfortunat eiy:
the bail is in sight, and quite play came rom
the Major. and again felt bound to uphoid MS de-
iWell. Of all the rotten rules that were ever in
..sumuUn Jus surlrna injuria.- quoted the Major;
and Fast set OF avs nv dear Lowndes Personally
Of course, should have no 6oJscLon % SoIr Is
u! ne EibInk I've heard that rsuark before. Many
tbs1ts Hfainr ali the same. All can say IS that
rI,m mn FOOT rules and nettle grubbng, should call
skittles better game Playable YOU can lt-nsle
goes them" and Tommy commenced i vigorous ds-
sitlt On me go S5o1iSv have been told 10 stand
by and make remarks TO heated dntaSqlSt Nao
win a nfblick or any form Of heavy iron Now
however the Major areaLS took his stand
-LoTt tbree Yards off the offending patch ana
counted Toumy's strokes
THE odd
Two more,
Three mora,
-Four more ... - o.. ,-,--
that he would never out goinng again "4'i4oo1
> shade "a pickaxe - o., ..-..z
you can give up the hole. OF course s1Sses'eu
.ba Nafor 6v wsv OF en-CUra cement
-. AID he mat H. too. J suppose Many tnanKs,
Major Not quite Vet. though. There Ionglsn
~ 10 travel 10 the green, and YOU may Eet Gown
INTO rortornless nit for know 20 tne con
trarv or that precious mOke OF yours. X ne nas