davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1903-03-07
How to Enjoy the Carnival
The Harlequin.

Now listen!
You come here to enjoy you
self, don't you?
Well, then, keep your temper
Remem Der that it matters not
how hard a time you are having,
it is nothing in comparison with
the trouble some other people
are having.
Be good natured and you will
reap a harvest Of returns for
your pains.
You know Carnival would not
be Carnival unless the city were
crowded as you see it. Think of
what a Carnival it would be if
you could walk along the streets
without being elbowed: go to
your meals and get served: find
ample room to sleep in and have
all the other com forts incident
to normal life in this most de-
lightful and gracious of all cities.
No, a part Of the aest is your
discomfort. You would not have
the appetite you now have il in
stead Of making you wait one
hour and a half for your ham and
eggs, you waited five and half
minutes.
Be good natured. If you can
not stem the tide on Canal street
or any other street after half
hour of trying, give it up. Don It
swear or call the police. It is
like as not if you do he will run
you in for disturbing the peace,
as he should. No, simply turn
right around and go with the
current
Be good natured. If you are
knocked down by a dray and
you ear stepped on by half a
hundred pedestrians before you
can get up, don't be discon-
certed. Don't say hard things
about the city. Don't try to as
sail the dray and every one who
stepped on your ear. Get up
and thank God you are still liv-
ing.
Be good natured.- If your
pockets are picked of a purse
with two or three hundred dol
lars in it, rejoice in that next
time you will know better than
to go out with money during
Mardi Gras. IfyOur sweetheart
Or wife has Thousand dollar
diamond earring snatched from
her ear, ear and all, or a finger |
deNterouSly cut off for five
thousand dollar solitaire just be
sure she will never need to be
lnStru cted again on the vanity
Of going about in vast cOncourses
with preciousl jewels exposed
In this world we have to pay for all
we get-even experience is dear.
Don't shove. Let others do
the showing. They will attend
to it without any of your assis
lance. When the procession
advance and you have placed
with all the other hood
ums and hayseeds, inside of the
necessary patch for the passing
Of the pageant, be sure you get
alfred mad and raise cain the
first time the horse of mounted
policeman or knight steps on
your foot and sends you to the
Charity Hospital for repairs.
of course, that these
are made of the invisi
ole air and need no room to pass.
Therefore, take up all. the
street.
Be sure to try to drink up all
the whiskey of every bum bar
room in town, as you roam about.
The fusil oil you will thus con-
sumo will benefit your liver, your
nerves, your head, your temper,
and indeed make you in every
respect a better man.
The chumier you become with
the bunco fellow who grows wild
with enthusiasm as the show
passes, the earlier you will go
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1903-03-07
HRC'HB/SHOP IRELAND o.
THE MICRO Question:.

sions of the race question are
enlivened by singular utterances
from the clergy. Not long ago
Archbishop Ireland gave his
views on the subject OF the much
discussed negro. The distin-
guished Catholic prelate is re-
ported as having expressed him
self in favor of giving to the black
man all the rights guaranteed to
him by the Federal constitution.
He is quoted as being an advo-
cate of political equality, who
would not deny to the negro the
right of the suffrage, despite the
fact that he has shown himself
to be absolutely unworthy to ex-
ercise that right. Though the
people of the South will continue
to have a proper respect for the
eminent clergyman and his call
ing, they will certainly question
the propriety Of his interference
in their domestic affairs and the
sanity of his Judgment in politi-
cal matters. Archbishop Ire
land evidently knows more about
theology than he does about con-
ditionS at the South. If his doc
trine Of political equality, ire
spective of race, should prevail
in the Southern States, it is
predetermined if even the church
which he represents would IN
the course of a few decades be
permitted to carry on its great
work for humanity in the terri
line. If every negro man in the
South were permitted to vote
and if that vote carried with it
the force which the constitution
gives it, it is only a question of
time when Archbishop Ireland s
church and other Christian
churches would be supplanted
by African fetichism.
We do not believe that this is
an exaggerated estimate of the
harm that the unhampered rule
of the negro would do in the
South. If the letter and spirit
of the constitution is Obeyed in
the South does any one doubt
that this fair Southland will be-
come the prey of an inferior
race? The political supremacy
of the negro would inevitably
lead to the complete demoraliza-
ton of society. With African
domination in the South does
any one doubt that Caucasian
civilization with it's Christian
churches would have to seek
other climes.
But, of course, the disastrous
results which would follow in
the wake Of negro suffrage are
not even remote possibility,
and the publication of Arch
bishop Ireland's views will cause
no uneasineSS in the South.
The arbitrary order issued by
= Federal Judge in ST. Louis di-
rected against the strikers of
,he Wabash Railroad virtually
them to go on a strike
shows to what degree the judi
:iary is made to encroach on the
lights of the people. The in
makes it contempt of
curt to strike. For several
ears the Federal judiciary has
,een gradually assuming the
of the legislative and
executive departments of the
The writ of in
appealed to by protected
interests against the demands Of
Employees is one of the greatest
from the principles
f republican form of govern
lent. The whole order is re-
ersed. Judges whose sole duty
) the Interpretation Of laws as
ume the prerogatives vested in
he other branches of the gov
.rnment, and the efforts of the
power to make just
aws and of the executive to en-
)rce them, are useless when
The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1903-03-07

The best pill meath the stars and stripes:
1t cleanses the system and never grpes.
Little Early Risers of worldly reDute-
Ask for DeWitt'S and take no substitute.
A small pill, easy to buy, easy to
take, easy to act, but never fail
ing in results. DeWitt'S Little
Early Risers arouse the secre-
tiOnS and act as tonic to the
liver, curing permanently. Sold
by Lafayette Drug Co.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
THE MYSTERIES OF SCIENCE.
Statesmen Had Little Knowledge Of
Astrophysieai Objects.

Secretary Langley of the Smithso-
nian institution. grave and learned.
ventured the other day before an ir-
reyerent subcommittee on appropria-
tions of the house to tell why he want
ed $4,000 for his astrophysical OBJ
servatory. on which the government
has thus far expended sl65.000.
Mr.. Benton of Missouri, unlettered
as to the sciences. followed not the
highly-complicated English which the
secretary employed. The latter pro-
ceeded with his account of what the
observatory was going to do and said
some time he hoped science would be
able to tell, through the influence of
the stars or some other signs. the ap-
proach of famine.
you didn't know the coal famine
was coming. did you, professor?"
queried one of the statesmen around
the mahogany table.
Well" said Mr.. Benton, after a
pause. Il suppose you look into such
things as whether there be fire in a
lightning-bug's tail?"
The subcommittee was In convul-
sions of laughter for some moments.
but the members felt kindly disposed
to Mr.. Langley and allowed him $ia.-
900 to continue his scientific expert.
ments.-Washingto Post.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
cuttIna Down Expenses.

There being a famine in the land
and taxes very high. the king sent for
his treasurer and said;
Ben All. you old robber, are the
people doing much kicking over the
hard times?"
''They do nothing but kick, your
highness." was the reply.
They seem dissatisfied. do they?"
II never saw the beat"
"And 1t will be very hard to collect
the taxes?"
Very hard. Most Of the people
have eaten up their corn and are now
living on roots
Il sympathize with them, Ben All.
you fraud from way back, and want
them to know that economy is my
watchword. You can issue a proc
lamation that I was going to erect a
million-dollar palace this year. but in
order not to add to the distress of my
people. | shall content myself with a
SIS horse pond. That's all old man.
and now you hustle along another car
go of champagne from Paris
Moral: A king who can't work a
racket now and then is not fit to gov
ern.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
wit of Great Preacher.

OF all the brilliant preachers of
modern times no one shone more re-
splendently in conversation than the
eloquent Baptist minister. Robert
Hall. For all whining pietists. for all
oracular utterers of commonplace, all
anglers for praise. in the pulpit or
elsewhere. the great preacher had an
ineffable contempt. One day a sickly.
querulous old man belonging TO his
congregation met him in the street
nnd said: "Ah. Mr.. Hall. you have
never-been to see me. sir Ive-Tye
I've been very Ill: I've been-at
deaths door, Mr.. Hall" "Why didn't
you step in?" was the quick response.
When asked for advice by young
man who desired to enter the minis
try. and who gave as reason that he
wished not to bury his talents in a
napkin. Hall replied: Then put them
in pocket handkerchief. sir; that
will be large enough!"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
THE RETIRED BURGLAR.
He Doesn't Set Up as Teacher. but
Draws Lesson From Experience.

mo matter what business a man
may be in," said the retired burglar,
lit is only by actual hard work, and
by everlastin'ly keepin at 1t that he
will get on in 1t. No amount OF dream
in will put man anywhere; but
there amt anywhere that a man can't
get by steady. hard work.
I've seen this Illustrated in my
own business; as matter of fact. in
my own experience.
I've wasted many and many a
night dreamin' of robbin' banks, max
in. in my mind. million dollars at a
clip. but never actually maxim cent,
while some chap that | knew that
didn't have half as lofty ideas about
things as | did would be doin' very
well. indeed. robbin' just small houses
and places like that. Just by gettin'
down to business and stickin' to IL:
not wastin' his time dreamin'. My
SON
well, | dunno. coIsiderln' my busi-
ness. or what was my business. as I
ought to set up as teacher, but you
can draw your own conclusions"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
Presidents Advice to corteIyou

Stories of the doings of children are
always welcome at the white house
and President Roosevelt Is ready at
any time to stop the flow of public
business to hear good story about
some other fellows boy as well as one
of his own. When he was ready to
appoint Secretary Cortelyou to the of.
fee of secretary Of commerce and la
Dor he asked: "Cortelyou, how is the
measles up at the house?"
We'll. We still have the measles,
but | think the children are getting
along all right
III you want to knock off a few
days between the two Jobs and help
take care of the children guess we
can arrange it," said the president.
1T might be a good thing to get ac
quainted with your family"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
THE BEST WAY TO TEACH HIS.
TOIX


The idea of object teaching, the
foundation of the Froebel system OF
Instruction. has in recent years met
win general acceptance and adoption
IN almost every branch of education.
hign and low. with resultant benefits
which are beyond question. Even such
subjects as grammar and arithmetic
are now taught in this way so far as
practicable. and with marked advant-
age over the old dry and abstract
methods. The practice OF teaching
history by making pllgrimages to the
very scenes where great historical
events have occurred Is an application
OF the same principle and much more
valuable In the way of impressing the
reality Of history upon the minds OF
the young than any amount OF mere
textbook instruction could be. A re-
cent issue OF the 'Four-Track Series"
published by the New York Central
management. gives description of
the historical sites in the immediate
vicinity OF New York, which will be
OF exceeding value for the guidance
of teachers and others who desire to
adopt this method OF historical study.
One of the best ways to develop civic
pride and promote good citizenship
crease of knowledge of local history
being accompanied with an increase
of interest In matters of local govern
ment and higher concern for what
Affects the welfare and good name of
the eommunity.-From Leslie's Week
ly.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
THEY ascaApr EoR pgNNIss.
Clever Venture Of Two Street Gamins
Which Pays Good Returns


Bit, Bang, That's it. Hit i'm
again' Bet on the young one,"
Such were the cries heard by those
who happened TO pass Board of Trade
court" about $3.50 one afternoon a few
weeks ago. In the midst of a crowd
OF about forty people composed of
members. clerks. messenger boys and
visitors. were two ragged urchins
fighting for all they were worth
The larger OF the two was about 13
years old and about four feet four
inches tall. while the other. though
probably as old, was considerably
smaller.
For the first five or six minutes they
fought quite evenly. until the smaller.
apparently finding the opening he was
looking for. landed hard right swing
on his opponents jaw. This was fol-
lowed by a few more. and while the
larger boy made his way out of the
crowd the smaller was greeted with a
shower of pennies. nickels and dimes.
which he quickly gathered up and was
seen no more.
In an alley two blocks east two boys
met. one rubbing his chin.
How much?" he eagerly Inquired
of a smaller boy.
Two dollars an twelve cents: lem
me see-dat's one dollar and six cents
each"
Oats all right; city hall next; lots
OF sports dere-only don't come in so
strong at the finish. Chicago Rec.
ord-Herald.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

.sndent. you are not the bird we are
after. All this Sandman nffair does
not interest us. any more than to show
you our power. The man we want is
the man who first employed you to
kill Alice Graviscourt. and then to
kill Maiigni and Nita Barlott. Ralph
Grayiscourt is your master, and 1t is
for you to choose whether you or he
suffers the penalty for the crimes"
The Italians face flushed with hope
as he heard this. and looked from one
of us to another In a vain search for
look of pity.
What do you want of me?" he
asked.
I'VE want full and succinct state.
ment from you of Graviscourt's crimes
and yours. telling how the infant.
Alice Graviscourt. disappeared. and
how the smallpox fraud was perpe-
trated, hiding nothing. but revealing
everything. That is what we want
of you"
And then what will you do with
me?" asked Sigmotta.
Hold you until the truth of your
statement Is proven. and then release
you"
There was pause. The major
walked back and forth uneasily. Thor
lane sat as calm as Byrnes himself.
was feverishly eager
Very WELL" said sigmotta. finally.
Il am ready. Shall | write1"
No. The stenographer will take
down your words. and then put It In
proper form for your signature"
And then began the unraveling OF
the last knot in the exciting mystery
OF the Graviscourt millions.
Graviscourt met us, as he had al
ways met us. with the placid smile
and the suave dignity of the man Of
wealth. leisure and culture. There
was. perhaps. a degree of pallor in his
face that was unusual, but this might
easily be attributed to the return OF
rival whom he had believed dead and
out of his way.
He greeted me cordially. however.
and congratulated me upon the fact
that the rumor of my demise was un-
founded
He led us into his cozy library-the
very room in which Dilkins had dis
covered the photograph of Alice Ora
viscourt-and placed chairs for us and
urged us to sit down.
There were four OF us: the major,
Thorlane. myself and special officer
in citizens dress, detailed by Byrnes
to accompany us and to take Gravis-
court into custody. had insisted
upon my plan of action being followed.
which was to proceed to Graviscourt's
rooms, unmask his vlllanies there, and
read to him the statements of Dambo
and of the two Sigmottas. When this
had been done, it was to be the Off
GERS duty to arrest Graviscourt. and
my connection with the case ceased.
1t must have been clear to Gravis-
court that something serious was com
ing, for the major was as glum and
grim as an old Warrior could be, and
the stern face of Thorlane must have
seemed to Graviscourt an i'll omen.
But no sign of trepidation showed
in his manner. and he politely offered
us cigars and wine, which we all de-
clined. while he waited for us to an
nounce the object of our visit
The moment was O painful one, and
although | had worked for this mans
downfall. now that had the weapons
wherewith to destroy him in my hand.
| sincerely pitied him. But there was
no receding now. and | plunged at
once into the subject.
ITO be continued.)
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
The Hon. Mr. Justice FinnemOrGS Letter.

%" desire voluntary testimony the beneficial effects of
your Cutura Remed have suffered for time from
acid bloo the middle last
attack of Eczema chiefly the scalp face and neck and
limb several months under professional but
gradually becoming
face dreaduy disfged and lost nearly ali hair At last.
Remedies
ahoough trial with the satisfactory results The disease began
disappear and hair commenced again. fresh growth
covering ahough quite
gradually improving My wife thinks highly your
them in make
suffering similar complaints President the Bible Womens
Society," told Bible report should
afflicted remedies
be ROBERT ISAAC FINNEMORE
fy<m<c <ceH,f)
esrnd duhurE rpot
gJapans Depot
U A.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
Overoficioujs.

What's tho matter Jimsby, YOU
lcok bothered"
Il am. l had a happy home until my
wife Joined one of those philanthropic
clubs and promised to do some little
thing every day to add to my happi-
ness. and now she's got so mary ideas
can't res
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
Keep Your Eye

On the sunny San Luis valley. for II
is going to be winner this year. You
VIII have full Information from time
to time in these columns.
The Colorado Bureau of Immigra-
tion. GIG Majestic Building. Denver.
Colorado.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

Housrox, TEX Il took tho simple of
Doan's Kidney Pills with such great benefit
bought box at our druggists Used over
half and stopped. because my urine which
before mad only cSne dnbbling. now became
so free. had medicine enough. l had ium-
bsgo and the pills rid me Of II should have
written sooner, but you know how soon a well
person fofgets about being sick.-Mr. G. II.
HorsoxI, No. 23lo Mckenny Ave. Houston.
Tex
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
Memory.

"a granite tablet" remarked the
moralizer. "is a splendid thing to per-
petuate ones memory"
Yes" replied the demoralizer, but
personally prefer a string around my
firgcr.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
Horses Bring Fancy Prices.

Thirty-eight Russian Orloff carriage
horses, just imported, have been auc-
toned off in New York. One four-in-
hand team sold for 1880. Many salcs
we're made around $500.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

CukrIcr OIL had such severe pain In my
back that could not walk. used the sam
pie of Doan's Kidney Pills with such good re-
sults sent to Toledo for another box. and
they cured me- SARAH T. CorrRriL. Cur
tice o.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

what" asked the ingulsltive person
do you find to be the hardest problem
Of your existence7' Getting my own
consent to crawl out OF warm bed on a
cold morning." replied the sage from
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

Guest-That room you gave me Is
awfully cold, and there's no way to
heat 1t, Clerk-I know. sir. but you'll
find a box of quinine pills in the top
bureau drawer.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

Aching backs are cascd. Hip. back. and
loin pains overcome. Swelling Of the
limbs and dfopsy signs vanish.
They correct urine with brick dust sedi.
ment, high colorcd. pain in passing. drib-
bling. frequency. bed wetting.. Doauis
Kidney pills remove calculi and gravel
Relieve heart palpitation. slceplcssness.
headache. nervousness. dizziness.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

FALMOUTH. vA-I suffered over twelve
months with pain In the small OF my back.
Medicines and piasters gave only temporary
relief Doan's Kidney Pills cured me.-f. s.
BHowx. Falmouth. Va.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

WEST HAVEN. CONN Eight months ago
took severe pain in my back The sample
Dor OF Doan's Kidney Pills helped me SO
much purchased two boxes am on my Sec
ond box. Ny heart does not bother me as Il
used to and | feel well-SARkH +. BRApLEY,
No. s7z Elm Street. West Haven. Conn.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

When Maude discovered on her head
The first gray hair, she cried
But soon she wiped her tears away
And then went on and dyed.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

Yes. I am going to be a baseball UNI
plre the coming season." But you know
people say some very harsh things Ia
umpires. "Oh. I won't mind that I'm
coal dealer at present"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
A othern See Him.

"Ah. he'll never be able to fill his
fathers shoes.
No; but he thinks his hat would
come down over the old mans ears
ell right"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

The rought riders OF Bisbee, Arizona.
are arranging to present an immense
black bear TO President Roosevelt. But
more than likely it will prove to be a
white elephant.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

II don't understand how Miss Milyuns
can see anything In that foreign nbblc-
man. He's nothing but gilded fool. .
That's so. and yet the chsnces are ten
10 one this Will be case Of a fool and
her money soon married
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

Denver paragrnphcr says that eating
quail for lunch every day for thirty
days Is easy compared with trying TO
write new Jokes every day for n year.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

The Best Results in starchlna
can be obtained only by using Deianos
Starch, besides getting 4 or more for same
money-no cooking required.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

1T beats air how good cigar you cnn
buy Tor cents 4 you buy the right brand.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
COmplGtH External and Internal Treatment

Bahe parts and Cuicua Soap
the surface of soften the ckened cuice Dry
without hard rubbing apply Cutcura Ointment freely aly itching
irritation lastly
Reoven cool and cleanse the blood This complete
relief permits sleep in the
and other itching burning and a humou of the k scalp
and blood and points speedy economical when
all other remedies and the physicians fail AS evidence
wonderful properties Cuca Remedies their
wide sale, quote
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
Defiance Starch

should be In every household, none no good.
besides OF. more for 10 cents than any
other brand of cold water starch.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

A smile OF satisfaction goes with one Of
Baxier's "Builhead' 5-cent cigars.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09

Do Your Clothes Look Yeilow7
Then use Defiance Starch. 1t will keep
them white-i6 or for 10 cents
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
CLOSE TO THE PEOPLE.

Public people write direct
and sale Kidney medicine in the world
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-04-09
ECZEMA
Psoriasis, Scaled Head, Milk Crust,
Tetter, RingWorm. etc.
Speedily, Permanently and Economically Cured,
when All Else Fails, by
(QtiCura

The agonizing, itching and burning Of the skin, in
the frghu scaling in psoriasis the loss Of
hair and crlstng of the scalp in SCALED head; the
facial disgurements as in Pmples and ringwom; the
in milk crust letter and salt rheum, all demand
remedy of almost uperhuman virtues to successfully cope
with them That Cutcura Soap, Ointment, and Resovent
such stands proven beyond all doubt No
made regarding them that is not justified by the strongest
evidence The purity and the power to afford
immediate relief the certainty of speedy and permanent
cure the absolute safety and great economy have made
them the standard skin blood purifiers and humour
remedies of the civilized world.