The Savannah morning news., 1903-10-15
Whiskers and Vanity.


There is a tradition, as well as a
burning popular belief, in various parts
of this country that the wearing of
whiskers-that is, genuine 'whiskers"
of the long, flowing SORTS always an
affectation and in ninety-nine cases
out of a hundred positive testimony
that the wearer is stuck on himself,
says the New York Commercial.
coterie of choice spirits out in
Frisco used to delight to put the thing
to the test, and their final decision
was that, without exception, the
wearer of long WHISPERS is vain in
the possession of them and may be
made to put up with good many
personal indiginities if only his insult
er understands how to appeal success
fully to his whiskerS' vanity. These
merry Charters used to lay wagers of
wine and dinners and money, with
outsiders always, on the chances of
offending any whiskered individual en-
countered on the street in car, or a
ferry-boat or in any public place by
pulling or stroking his beard. They
never lost. The insinuating compli
ment on that soft, silky, beautiful
beard of yours" always carried the
day.
One of that coterie has latterly come
to New York to live. He is Arthur c..
Donnell an official of a leading gold
mining company, whose suite of Of
fees is in the Broad Exchange. He has
been here only about a year, has tried
the whiskers-p pulling trick here on all
sorts and conditions of men, and new
er once has he failed to do the trick,
always escaping unframed and deep in
the good graces of the party thus
pulled. .+--taf.. t......
Down near Fulton Ferry the other
day Donnell and a friend noticed an
aged Sicilian tending a corner fruit
stand. He was neatly dressed in blue
serge, and his snoW-white beard,
bushy and bristling about the cheeks
and ears, tapered off symmetrlcaly
like an inverted pyramid, the apex be-
ing well below the bottom of his
waistcoat, as he stood erect. About
the lips the beard was badly yelloWed
through excessive and careless smok-
ing. The man spoke fairly good Eng
fish. and his tout ensemble seemed
at the outset to forbid any familiar
ity with him.. Approaching him
brusquely Donnell laid soft hand on
the old mans shoulder and asked:
How much for this basket of
grapes?"
Eighty cents"
why, out in California. my coun-
try, / can get the same thing for a
quarter"
I'm ma country" reioined the old
man, only ten centesimo! But not in
New York"-and he shook his head
sorrowfully,
All sighed the insinuating DON
NELL sympathetically, how l would
love to live in dear old Sicily" And
with his right arm still on the old
mans shoulder and his left hand toy
ing with the apex of the whiskers. he
added, turning to his friend: mo such
fine boards as this in America, Jackl
| have seen them there in Sicily fully
four feet long, but none so silky and
beautiful as the old gentleman's here"
Then Donnell began to stroke the whis-
kers vigorously.
No protest from his whiSkers!
when I was 80 years old" he said.
reminiscently and proudly, this beard
Of mine was fully a foot longer than
now''-and here he, pulled an old-time
tin-type from his breast pocket to prove
What glorious whiskers!" exclaim-
ed the two visitors in chorus, as they
examined the likeness. The old man
insisted on their keeping the picture
as a souvenir, gave them each big
red apple. and fairly glowed with pride
when both gave his beard goodbye
pull.
Ten minutes later in Wall street the
pair encountered a tall, well-groomed
man of about 60 coming out of the old
custom house. He wore a high hat
with deep weed on it, gold-bowed
spectacles, and bushy gray beard
parted in the middle and combed well
out onto his shoulders: a victoria was
awaiting him at the curb; he was dig
L
and this moved the New Yorker to
whisper to the Californian: "A cold
quart you can't work him."
Done! Here goes!"
The Californian rushed up to the
stranger with extended hand, saluted
him as "Uncle Edward" and then af-
fected deep modification at his blunder
as the elderly man stood him off.
Perhaps" explained Donnell, insin-
uatingly II may be pardoned for my
mistake. You have the same figure
and general style as my uncle, the same
good-fitting clothes, the rudy cheeks,
and that magnificent beard of yours is
a perfect image of his"-and here the
chatter touched the hirsute forest, part
ing it lightly with his gloved right
band.
ct trust" responded his whiskers,"
beamingly, that your uncle's beard
isn't failing out so fast as mine is. I
much fear that ] shall have to shave
it off"
Don't do it. l implore YOU" pleaded
DonnelI, ITS something quite too
grand to be sacrificedv'
win you gentlemen join me in a
drink at the buffet over yonder ?"-this
from the bearded stranger.
They both Joined"
Worth. the famous Paris arhit e,.