Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1903-06-20


one Of the important things In the |
education Of boy is that he should
learn to keep his lips together
General Castro continues to do very
well for a man who has a revolution
and large indemnity on his hands.
II does man no good to give him
dose Of his own medicine. After he
swallows II he is worse than before.
\6A
America may be the "land Of the
dollar" but the cry OF distress any
where In the world always loosens Its
grasp OH the dollar.
Man Is the only animal that can talk
and that is why he SO often makes
a bear. n monkey. a sheep. lobster
or an ass Of himself.
~IA
Once upon time there was man
who was too lazy to lie. so he In.
vented a machine to do II for him ana
called 1t a gas meter.
\oeA
One Of the astronomers has discoV-
cred a large projection on Mars. FER
haps the Martians have just put up
their first skyscraper.
Abdul Hamid Is In an embarrassing
position. lie can fight Bulgaria all
he wants TO. but the powers Will not
permit him TO whip her
Scientists claim now that cancer
microbes exist in "vile-smelling foreign
checses." Limburger is exempt. be.
cause they couldn't live in it.
~eA
Rev. Newell Dwight Hills declares
that 1--WE all go to the devil on $4,000
Il year" Glad to assure DIR. Hills
that we are still In the Immune class.
Since circus mems unions have be-
gun to go on strikes, tying up the
shows. how can the American boy
hope to enjoy himself rs his father
did?
>6A
Russia asks China TO trust her I'm.
piicitly. That Is exactly what the lion
said to the lamb. From the interior
Of the lion the wall came: I'm sorry
I trusted"
~6A
Riches don't bring happiness. nc.
cording to Chicago banker. But
they are mighty handy to have In the
house along about the first OF the
month.
A Cambridge professor has discov.
cred large lump on Mars. 1t may
have been induced by the amount OF
attention we have been giving the
planet In recent years.
~eA
A Chicago woman cried the other
day because somebody else paid her 3,
taxes. This ought to be told to Hetty
Green. She hasn't been able for u
long time to enjoy Joke.
~
England has Just seized three islands
In the Pacific Ocean. It Is remarkable
that England doesn't now and then
lose track Of them and seize few
islands which were already hers.
The Nevada man who wants dl.
,vorce because his wife goes through
his pockets ut night will he disappoint.
ed. No court IL going to establish
precedent that would endanger the do.
nestle life Of the nation.
Ambassador Ch0ate Ii going to mar.
ry one of his daughters to titled Eng.
lishman. 1t costs good deal to bc
ambassador to England, but the lady
members Of the family will now be
likely to regard the Investment rs n
good one.
~6A
The Russian joker VINO caused pnu'
ic In the geological gardens Mt St. Pc
tersburg by shouting that the tigers
had escaped should exchange cards
with the American humorist who yells
Fire" In places of amusement. They
should then report TO the fool killer
together.
%dA
Interesting has been the reminls-
cense Of EmersOn's love for pie. 1t
has been remarked that he liked his
pie baked In deep, square tins, 80 that
like the real estate speculatOr he
could get good corner. Rallied upon
his fOndness for this piece de resist.
ance Of New England cookery, It Is
fondly recalled how the sage replied:
"What Is pie made for II not to be
eaten"-a delightful bit Of Emcrsonian
philosophy.
~6A
| One definite advantage in substitute
ing khaki for blue cloth uniforms for
the army In the tropics and In sum.
mer was not considered when the
change was discussed IN the war de-
partment, the anopheles mosquito not
having at that time been eXhaustively
studied. The Notwithstanding mosqul-
toes, It Is said, win not light upon sub.
stances having a yellow color, but