Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-05-09
THE TREATING HABIT

''This treating habit" unused Mnchswuz-
zle on his way home the other evening.
after having been compelled, or virtually
compelled, by an insistent griends to drink
more drinks than he wanted. and to blow
in money that he didn't want to spend
''this treating habit is not only demoraliz-
ing and expensive, as 1t is practiced in this
country, but 1t is absurd. 1t is worse than
absurd. 1t is outrageous. Surprising fell
low / know were to meet me on the street
and say: Muchswuzzle, / am going into
this restaurant and have some shad roe and
bacon. Come and Join me- And supposing.
If didn't want roe shad and bacon or any
thing else to eat, should decline his in
vitation and he should become naughty and
insulted. wouldn't that be idiotic? Or.
again: supposing the same fellow bound
into hat store to buy a hat. and suppos-
ing him to say to me. Come on. old man.
and join me in a hat and I should reply
that didn't want a hat. and he should be-
come chesty and sore about it, wouldn't
he be fit subject for lunatic asylum?
l think he would. And what's the differ
ence between these cases I've cited to my
self and drinking? Why should a man who
meets me as he is about to enter a drinking
place feel it any more incumbent upon him
a man about to enter a shoe store feel 1t
necessary to invite me to let him pay for
a pair of shoes for me? It's all rot that's
what 1t Is. In Germany. now. the treating
habit doesn't exist, I understand. Every
man over in that sensible country buys his
own drink, and German would think 1t
peculiar If any other fellow would volun-
teer to cough up for the price of his drink
Which Is Just as 1t should be. I'm going
to practice the German non-treating sys-
tenn myself hereafter. beginning tomorrow
that's what am. From tomorrow on, no
man is going to treat me at a bar, nor am
/ going to treat any man, and that goes.
When Muchswuzzle left his office on the
following afternoon-he never drank any
thing until after the business of the day
was finished-he was still strong In his
purpose to put the German non-treating
scheme into effect so far as he personally
was concerned. So, when an old and trust
ed friend met him at one of the first cor
ners he turned, and said. Hello, Swuz-
join me?" Muchswuzzle shook his head
good-naturedly and said no, he guessed not.
Then he walked Into the cafe right on the
heels Of the friend who had asked him to
have a drink.
Muchswuzzles friend looked at him in a
puzzled sort of way, and then concluded
that he hadn't heard Muchswuzzle Alright
when the latter had passed up the invita-
ton to drink.
"Well, what's 1t going to be-" he in
quired amiably, walking over to the part
paired.
Muchswuzzle looked annoyed
'I was about to order some Scotch and
soda for myself" he said to his friend
1t was Muchswuzzle's friend turn to look
annoyed. But there was mystifcation mix
ed with the annoyance on his features.
"Whats that?" he inquired little
hoarsely.
about to order some Scotch and soda FOR
myself"
The friend stepped back and surveyed
Muchswuzzle gloweringly.
Say, look a-here, Muchswuzzle.' he said
in tone that had plenty of bite in 1t,
what the dickens has got into you. any
how? Have you gone crazy?'
No" replied Muchswuzzle. us it sign
of insanity If man enters a bar room and
orders a drink for himself?"
Muchswuzzle's friend began to grow
gradually purple.
"'Orders drink for himself. heyT' he
said, his choler increasing every second.
Then I wasn't mistaken. and you do in
tend to deliberately insult me. do your
Not in the least-I don't know why you
should suppose So replied MuchswuZzle.
How can there be any insult in the sim
pie fact that / am taking drink at the
same bar with you, and paying for 1t my
Self?'
The friend was pretty nigh speeches.
by this time.
"And you heard my invitation to drink
Will YOU, you! llc SdSpeu
Certainly" answered MuchswuZzle, pre-
pairing to explain the situation. but it is
because
''Then," exclaimed the friend. his wrath
breaking out Il want to tell you, Much
swuZZle, that, as long as we've known each
other, you can't insult me with impunity-
you can't give me a slap in the face of that
character without comeback, I'll be
hanged If you can! / don't know what your
crouch against me is, but want to tell you
that I've never done anything to you and
I'm just as square man as you are and
If you've got anything against me-if any
knockers have been telling you anything
about newly. it's up to you to come out
like man and let me know about 1t, in
stead of trying to give me a stab in
public place that / won't stand for, and I
want to tell you right now, Muchswuzzle,
that only cheap man would conduct him
self toward another man in such a manner
without first stating some reason or other
for doing" ETC., etc.
The friend was shaking his fist close to
Muchswuzzles nose by the time he wound
up his wrathful speech, and then Muchs-
wuzzle contrived to butt in with an expla-
nation. 1t took him fully twenty minutes
to tell his friend just what had induced
him to decline the invitation to drink and to
attempt to buy drink for himself, and
even then the friend looked suspicious and
unconvinced.
That was the end of Muchswuzzle's at
tempt to introduce the German non-treating
system, so far as 1t concerned himself per-
sonally.
A large body of water and several other
things divide the United States and the
German empire.
QUEER INVENTIONS.