The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-10-19
BY Marx Twain.
A RENT you charging rather high
rates for this interview"

BY Mark Twain.
- RENT you charging rather high
rates for this interview
Not any higher than I always
charge when I am present in person dur
ing the interview.
Sometimes you are not PRESENT.
YES: in those cases I do not know L
have been interviewed until I see it in
the papers
do YOU enjoy it?''
well. no; I think ii is not quite fair.
IT is nv trade to talk and write; it IS
my bread and butter A man cannot
honorably take IL from my family with
out consent. What is 1t we are to talk
''The Yacht races. The Republic would
like YOU to explain the reasons OF the re
suits"
"Whv-that is all right. but doubt if
can earn the money"
''Whv2''
<'WeH. because I can only state the
facts. I can't intelligently philosophize
them. analyze them, deduce results from
them-and all that wise kind OF thing, you
know. DO YOU care for facts-just mere
cold Unconditional factsG'
Dear sir. we prefer them to anything
else"
ALLOW me Give me your hand we
meet upNl holy ground. have no longer
any tremblings at the heart, no longer
any disturbing anxieties- Facts are my
You have been called the slave of
Have YOU heard ito. You make me
proud. happy; vow sing all my solicitudes
you have seen all of the raees?'
Yes. all Of them
ION board the Kanawha?'
she is the fastest steam yacht. aflOat.
Yes, She has beaten all the flyers.
When I am feeling good can make
thirtv-seven knots an hour with her.
Why do you look at me like thatE'
II beg pardon. assure you did not
mean to. How
"Well. YOU mustn't look at me like that,
7 am very sensitive
'It was an oversight. 7 give you my
world ] would not wound you for any
ting NY hearing is not good. and did
not quite catch the number Of knots.
think How many did you say 1t was?
"FOrtv-five. She's bird-Just a plrc-
She
'Do YOU take her gait yourself?''
''NO it IS done by one Of the men-Pat-
rick Clancy. He is in the forecastle- She
has made as high as forty-nine. He told
me so himself"
as he-is he trustworthy"
"Whv-CIancy? I should think so. I
wouldn't trust statement OF my own
Neither would T.
let me take you by the hand. Is
clancy trustworthye Why. it would make
everybody in the ship smile to hear you
saw that. Patrick Clancy
"Is he experienced? Is he calm. unex-
citahle? Does he know the boat WelIE
Knows her like a book. Knows every
inch of her 127 feet; knows every ton OF
her 400. can tell by the tlutter OF ner
screw when she's making her Saooatn
dav go revolutions. and when shes on the
war path and turning out 1900 a mtnlNe
Does Patrick Clancy know the kanaWha
Why man. he's been in her ever since
she was a little thing not thirty feet long
and couldn't make ten miles an nour. he
told me so himself"
do YOU own the KanawhaT'
well. no. I don't exactly own her 1
only help to run her. Mr., Rogers owns
mo YOU command herr"
''TTell. not exactly that. only super
intend"
'eWeli. would not put it quite as strong
as that: but I do good deal OF work.
YOU know: in fact, the important part or
IT. SuDerintending - more important
than commanding, and more worrying
and fatiguing you know, because you
have 20 be everywhere and attend 20
everything SuDerintending IS much the
more eXacting function on board SNIP
and requires more varied talent and alert
ness and more patience and calmness
I under explosions of resentment and IN
subordinauon than any other IN 6nS
service. There are but few really good
sunerintendents.
'srThe salary must be very larger"
mo there isn't any salary: all q Der-
son gets is neglect and ingratitude. If
suuerfntendent is conscientious and does
his whole duty there's never anything
going on but mutiny and jnsurrecuon, II
/ have ever had an order obeyed without
being requested to mind my own bust
ness. 7 have no recollection Of it. 1t is
just a dogs life and that is the best you
can say about it
"Whv don't YOU resign2'
''Resignl How can l resign when
haven't been appointed. II ] could get
appointed I would resign in minute
ITS there no way to-
f'To what? No, there isn't. If you are
| "A SUPERINTENDENT. there you are, and can I
/ help Yourself. Sometimes L wish / was
dead"
'It does seem to be sorrowful voca-
| ton"
Funerals is hfarity compared to IT,.
/ Daily and hourly your feelings are hurt.
! Hurt by disobedence; yes. and almost al
ways accompanied by remarks which
/ why. let me give you an instance. You
/ remember that first day when we We're
racing with those seam ricketts,. the COrs-
/ air and the Revolution and the Hauoi
and Mr.. Leeds clipper and hanging their
scalps uD there on the mizzen forefop-
gallant halyards to dry, one by one2 7
/ foun dthe second mate off his base and
/ ordered him into irons as 2 lesson. and
/ he told me to gO-ueveT mind where he
/ told me 10 go to-but how would YOU like
i 70 he treated lise that and You doing the
best you could p?
"Ah, that gives me an idea It would
be iEst like such man As that TO keep