New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-08-11
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


writing headlines for a newspaper is something
OF fine art" said Senator Dolliver to a reporter
of THE Portland Oregonian" recently. "a good
headline writer unquestonaby is a mighty valu-
able paper. A headline came near being
my undoing once Back along the New-England
coast somewhere is a rather dangerous reach of
land marked the charts Delivers Neck. A
big storm was raging along the coast once just at
the time 1 having a hot campaign in Iowa.
The temperance people pretty strong in that
State. Well the morning of Election Day
picked up paper and then jumped about four feet
straight up. A line clear the top of the
front page in bold black letters. read Five Schoon-
ers Gone Down at Delivers Neck "
The hrefies are so large and of such unusual
candle power TINS summer that II Is dangerous to
squeeze hands out OF doors.-(Atchison Globe.
Wine testing by telephone is the latest contri-
vance of a Paris inventor. INSCRIPTIONS vendors
will not bless NJ. Maneuvrier. assistant director
the laboratory of researches Of the Paris Faculty
of Sciences. He has just discovered an infallible
method of ascertaning by the of the telephone
how much a given quantity of wine has been
tered The principle which the invention rests
is variable conductivity of different liquids.
tably of wine and water. The apparatus works
follows: Two vessels. one containing wine known
TO be pure, the other the same quantity of the
wine to be tested. are placed instrument out
wardly resembling a pair of scales. The telephone
is in contact with both liquids. If the sample of
wine under observation Is as pure as the standard
used for comparison no SOunO IS neaTQi H. on Ih9
contrary 1t contains water. the tetaIe telephone
.'speaks" and the greater the proportion of water
the louder the instrument complains. A dial
which a number of figures marked is connected
with the telephone. To ascertain tho proportion of
water in the wine tested. the operator moves a
hand on the dial until the telephone which has
been speaking all this time lapses into silence.
The hand has thus been brought to a certain figure
on the dial. This number is then looked up in a
chart which the ingenious and painstaking inventor
has drawn up, and corresponding TO it is found
indicated the exact proportion of water contained
In the quantity of wine.
SHATTERED DREAMS.
1.-The British Medical ,Ps5 that men of
I thought, dear Doris should be
Extremely happy If married;
But. oh. Pm I'm thankful now 1tD we ct tafried.
Had we been welded last July
Il caught the measles, waited)
Wed now be wretched, you and I;
A genius always is i'll fated
We might have lived without a hitch
TIL one or both of US were taken"
OF appetizing breakfast bacon;
We might have passed our married life
Free from the slightest faint of strife
Had rot written Songs of Passion
All me. that book The truth will out;
cons"s # you're P: inclined ei'u to 1 douSt
6e PgSnTv p Pa tPe press ea upon tsI
WiS Hng we Iee hs justified fe, in praisins
The Sloshly Clarion" says. Amazing
So. Doris. it can never be:
1 trust the tidings won't upset YOU:
Reluctantly / set you free,
Though ne'er, l vow, will I forget vOu
Some other man your hand may win
I'll strive to bear II with cOuiposure:
Your letters you will find within.
Your truly,
EDWIN JONES. Gnclosure)
punch
A man who puts joke into his will Is certainly
in a position TO laugh last. The Police Commits
sary of a small town in the Department of Saline
et-Oise. France has just been the victim of +bts
sort OF posthumous humor. A few DAYS ago he
summoned TO make the necessary legal in
vestigatiOn in the of the suicide OF retirad
railway servant who had TIE reputation OF being
very original character. On a table he found
large envelope bearing the words: This is my
last will and testament" which he transmitted m
the proper quarter. Two days later the commits
saTy was informed that he was sole legatee. When
inventory of the estate was made however ~
found that the liabilities Just about balanced
the assets. and that. consequently after having
the funeral expenses, the eommissary's legacy
would consist of debts. He may refuse the lerac,
but fee has to be paid in such cases and ne viii
be out Of pocket whether he accepts or refuses
the Golden Rule 49, AOAS
That's going too far. Why isn't he satisfied like
other people with dsregarding 1t in PRACTICE ?''~
brooklyn Life.