The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-05
UNCLE MING0
ON ENVIRONME EMIT.
By w. T. Williams.


At a meeting of the Postum Holler
Club, the president requested Uncle
Mingo to enlighten the members On
the subject of what he called "anG-
ironments.''
at seems" said the president, dat
desc environments is VERY useful an
defective cen de upbuildin' OBJ de
'uman race"
Eyes, so it seem,'' said Uncle Mingo.
DE science people an dem wot make
a special study OBJ de doctrine of So
ciable doxology has recently diskibber
it."
Would you min, sahv" said the
president, ito kin'ly 'lucidate de expla-
nation OBJ de meanin' OBJ de word? 1
understands it myself" he added mod
estly, but 1 tink it likely dat some
few oh de bredren might be a little
confuse on de subject"
Il amt so sho myself" said Uncle
Mingo, but I tink 1 got de idee.
You all know wot 'andirons' is
f1re-dogs, wot hol up de wood cen de
fireplace, an keep it from fallin'
down cen de ashes. Well, cen regard
to de umans, environments is wot
IlOl uGln up llOlIl ldlllll uONH CCAi
de dirt an ashes OBJ sin an evildoin.' "
This luminous explanation was duly
applauded; and Uncle Mingo pro-
ceededt
"Dey now claim dat de andiron-
ments kin do mos anything wild peo-
pie. Dey say it kin make bad people
good, an good people bad, witch is mo-
easier. Lately 1 hear dey has eben
been goin' so fur as to say dat it kin
H.. 49,
wife people out O. niggers."
A general exclamation of incredul-
ity interrupted the speaker.
Goose" said Uncle Mingo, "de in
evidious mus be took cen han endur-
in de age OBJ infancy. After dey gifts
growed up it's too late.
Teddy he catch de notion an he's
been 'sperimentin'. He start wild de
growed up niggers. Fus' he try it on
Booker, an he work on Booker awhile.
Dey say Booker taught he was turn
in wife, but wen he git back to AL
lybama, dey say he was jis de same
niger he was befo.
Den Teddy say maybe Booker was
too black to begin on an prehaps he
better try his han on a kin O. half an
half Teller ontell he git cen practice.
So he git to operatin' on dis Teller
Crum ober home, but I hear de
Charleston people say Crum is jes as
big a niger as ebber.
Den he try de plan on Jud an it
pears he amt met wild no mo- better
success dere neider.
80 now dey has repote out dat
he is lookin' for two little niger ba-
bies, an he has great hopes OBJ turin
'em wife by de process OBJ andiron-
ments."
81 amt much on de science books"
VERY much bout de sociable doxology,
but all de same 1 has my own idees.
II member Wen I was a leetle Teller
llbbin' out to Pollywog Crick, my mar
she set hen on some duck aigs. Wen
dey hatch out dey was all ducky dad
dies, but dey foller de ole hen all right
ontell one day she take a notion to
meander off an scratch a little locg
de bank OBJ de crick. Soon as dey see
de water de little ducks pitch right
cen, an go swimmin' roun'. I was dere
to de crick fishin' an l see it wild nIy
own eyes. My! You nebber did see
nobody mo- worrieder dan dat ole hen
was. She was cen peck o. trouble.
She couldn't a been mo- worried if
she was de cote readin' cen de Sunday
paper dat de Roberen' Mr.. Minister is
de parody OBJ de unjus' judge
Encouraged by the laughter and ep-
plause, the president continued:
"She couldn't been mo- worried if
she was desc policy gamblers Wen
somebody come cen an say Billy an
de gran jury is at dem wild a sharp
stick. (Renewed laughter.) She couldn't
a been mo- worried if she was a sa-
loonkeeper readin' de 'nouncement dat
Sam Jones is comm right back again.
(Uproarious hilarity)
Now, sah,' said the president, TIL
uInphantly to Uncle Mingo, 'if dis an
cironment talk is any good, dem ducks
ought to stayed chickens"
II dunno" said Uncle Mingo, "may-
be de science man would say 1ere
hadn't ought to been no water for dem
to swim cen. Dem environments was
all wrong; dey didn't ought to had no
crick cen dem.
"Howsomebber. I believes dat little
ducks will grow up ducks. an little
niggers will grow up niggers an
moves we put it to a vote"
The question was accordingly put TO
ote, and unanimously decided in the
affirmative.