davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1903-04-22
HAS DONE SOME GOOD.

Whether the senate has passed
the house bill taking the university
and normal school out from under
the control of the board of control
will be known before this issue of
THE GAZETTE goes to press.
The house bill is safely guarded,
thanks to the eternal vigilance OF
Representative j. H. Burns of Fill
more county, who has been the
leading friend of the board of con
troll on the floor of the house. He
has added an amendment to the orig
inal bill, providing that all build
ings or bettermentS, erected at the
university or at the normal schools,
must be done under the direction of
the board of control, leaving the ed
vocational management of these in
situations to the local boards, or to
the board of regents.
1t will be we'll if the bill has
passed for one reason, II for no
other. 1t will mean that all other
institutions of the State will forever
hereafter remain under the board Of
control and that the fight to re-
move them will not be made at each
succeeding session of the legisla-
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1903-04-22
BY AIKEN & SCHMAHL
ADVERTISING RATES

Commencing July 1, 1898, the followin
rates will be strictly enforced on all new
contracts made for advertising in THE RED
WOOD GAZETTE:
Less than 20 inches q COLI per inch... zoe
Twenty incnes or more, per inch ... LOG
Discounts will be allowed on contracts Tor
advertising running continuously:
$500 to $500. discount .....,.. 20 per cent
15.O0to 1000 =" ........2o
1000 to 1900, o." ........3O "
1900 or over, ......... 80 q =
Average weekly circulation. 1.6Oocop1es
For convenience, a full year of 81 weeks
will be allowed at so insertions. thus:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1903-04-22

Larger contracts at minimum rate of 10
cents per inch each insertion. Rates for
preferred position. metal base electros or
alternate insertions furnished at office.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
Two Queer Diseases.

Astasia is Il nervous affection the
peculiar feature of which is the fact
that a person suffering from it cannot
stand upright. If he tries, he will be
obliged to hop and jump whenever his
feet touch the ground. In a word, his
actions are precisely those of person
who might be required to stand up
right on n floor composed of redhot
Goals Fortunately there are not many
cases of this malady on record. Aka
thisia is the exact opposite of astasia,
since person suffering from it cannot
remain seated. The moment he seats
himself in chair he is obliged to
start up again. A person afflicted
with akathisia can walk easily, but
cannot sit. whereas person suffering
from aStasia cannot stand upright and
cannot walk in the ordinary manner
owing to the contraction of his lower
limbs.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
The King6sher.

Koskomenos, the kingfisher, still bur-
rows in the earth like his reptile an
cestors. Therefore the other birds call
him Outcast and will have nothing to
do with him. But he cares little for
that, being gathering. rattle headed,
self satisfied fellow, who seems to do
nothing all day long but fish and eat.
AS you follow him. however, you note
with amaZement that he does some
things, marvelously well-better, in
deed, than any other of the wood folk.
To locate a fish accurately in still wa
ter is difficult enough when one thinks
of light refraction. but when the fish
is moving and the sun glares down into
the pool and the wind wrinkles it's face
into Il thousand flashing, changing fur
rows and ridges, then the bird that can
point I; bill straight to his fish and hit
him fair just behind the gills must
have more in his head than the usual
chattering gossip that one hears from
him on the trout atreams.-Country
Life In America.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
Hermann and Kellar.

The late Professor Hermann, the
magician, was possessed not only Of
great strength in his hands, but of
such skill as would enable him to per-
form apparent feats Of strength which
would be impossible to far stronger
man.
His greatest feat along this line WIS
to place two packs of cards together
and tear them across.
A friend of his, going into a cafe
with HERMANN. met another friend
who was accompanied by a quiet loon
ing man with big mustache.
The four sat down together, and
Hermann was at length induced to
tear two packs of cards in half.
''That," said his admiring friend, sis
something 10 other man alive can do"
The quiet man with the mustache
coolly picked up the torn packs and
tore the halved sections into quarter
sections.
Then, as the rest glared amazedly at
him, he remarked:
II forgot to mention my name is
Kellar"
1t was Herrmann's foremost rival in
the sleight of hand business.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
TRIVIAL, YET POTENT.
The tyranny of the Small and the
HelPlessness of Mankind.


Helplessness of Mankind.
The tyranny Of littleness" is the
cruel despotism not of one master, but
Of multitude of small ones. Witness
the ironclad sway which any sovereign
ruler OF the ktchen may WELD over a
helpless household. What happiness or
misery is bestowed lightly by one who
turns toaster or brews pot of cof-
fee.
We are all slaves to milliners and
tallors. The milkman holds us helpless
in his clutches. The chore man orders
us about. The maid of all work beck
ons, and we follow. We bow and
scrape before the naughty plumber.
We who would strike down mon
archs and measure swords with min
listers of finance, what sorry figures
we cut in the community if sighted by
the laundrymen! We scarce can hold
our own against a surly railway por-
ter. and it is but by the courtesy of
Master Boots that we emerge from
our hotel apartment. And who shall
stand before the overwhelming power
vested in an offended waiter? We
cannot even mount trolley car if the
conductor and mOtOrman choose to ic-
more us.
The man who rules the Stock Ex-
change cannot rest at night because an
infants voice banishes Dreams He is
a victim to the insect world Who
will abolish the tyranny of flies and of
mosquitoes?
Behold the tyranny of horses, dogs
and cats. to which the great majority
Of mortals submit without a murmur.
What master is as exacting as a tight
shoe or a torturing collar? A parrot
or pet canary can sadly try mems
souls! Yes. things are in the saddle
and ride mankind
Who will do justice to the tyranny
Of the depraved inanimate taskmasters?
A diamond necklace changes the his
tory Of empires. A courtiers cloak
may pave the way to royal favor. A
glove, handkerchief. glass slipper,
what things to conjure with. Slaves
Of the lamp! Slaves of the ring!
All. the supremacy Of trivial things,
that one real tyranny to which we all
bow down! Is there no hope that we
may some day throw off the heavy
yoke? Well is it for us to mediate
upon this vital problem which touches
each so closely. And as we mediate
we may grow wise enough to break
some of the multitudinous shackels
that hold us spiritless and helpless in
the power of the arch tyrant, Little
Things. '-Caroline Ticknor in Brandur
Magazine.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13

Just after the battle of Perryville, In
October, 1862, says Georgia ex-
change, DIR. Savage, a strong Union
man, was at one of his appointments
10 Daptlze some children. There was q
large crowd, and sturdy southern
matron brought her four children to
the altar. Name this child" said the
Union preacher, laying his hand Oh
the boys head. Simon Bolivar Buck
ner,' was the reply, which caused a
smile to come over the congregation,
but the brave preacher went on with
his duty.
''Name this child" taking the next
in order. pierre Gustave Toutart
Beauregard.' And the smile grew into
a smoker, while DR.. Savage became
red in the face. He baptized the
young namesake of the soldier and
went on with the ceremony. Name
this one" he gasped, reaching for the
third. ALBERT Sidney Johnson" came
the answer The smile became audi
BILE and the preacher apoplectic. Heav-
ing sigh of relief. he took the fourth
child, a little girl, whose gender he
fondly supposed would preclude a con-
tinuation of heroic reproduction and
said, Name this child" MARY Stone
wall Jackson Lee" came the response
that set the congregation in n roar,
while the Union parson thought he had
held in his arms the whole Southern
COnfederacy.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
Both Come In Bottles.

The father was testing his little boys
knowledge of the story of Noah. which
he had carefully rehearsed. The boy
had been thinking hard, and his an
swer to the first question showed that
he had at least the virtue of original
ity.
'Now," said papa, "can you tell me
how Noah knew that the waters had
gone DOWN.
The boy hesitated a minute. as if
seeking for proper words to express
himself; then he said:
"Noah knew the waters had gone
down because the dove came back
bringing him pickle"
Olives and pickles We're synonymous
terms in the small boys mind for
things which come in bottles and
which he did not like.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
FLAG LANGUAGE,

The black flag is a sign of piracy
To ''strike the flag is to lower the
colOrs in submission
Dipping the flag is lowering it slight
ly and hosting it again to salute YES
sci or fort.
The yellow flag shows vessel to be
in quarantine or is a sign of a conta-
gious disease.
A flag of truce" is white flag dis
played to an enemy to Indicate desire
for parley OF consultation.
The red flag in our service is mark
of danger and shows a vessel to be re-
ceiving or discharging her powder.
A flag at half mast means mourning.
Fishing and other vessels return with
the flag at half mast to announce the
loss or death of some of their crew.
Flags are used as the symbol of rank
and command, the officers using them
being called flag officers" Such flags
are square to distinguish them from
other banners.
The white flag is a sign of peace.
After battle parties from both sides
often go out to the field to rescue the
wounded or bury the dead under the
protection of the white flag.
If the president of the United States
goes aboard, the American flag is car
ljed in the bow of his barge or hoisted
at the mast of the vessel on board of
which he is.--New Education.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13

Dan Leno. the English comedian,
told of appearing before swell Lon
don audience at the house of a lord.
The languor of his listeners made him
feel not too happy, and he was glad to
retire to the dressing room allotted
him. While he was removing the
grease paint very young peer who
had strolled after him. stood watching
the process. He told Leno in the most
approved drawl that some of his say
ings had really been rather funny, "es-
pecially that one, you know. where
your wife made pancake on grid
iron and the pancake slipped through
and put the fire out. That made me
laugh awfully. because l know what
a gridiron is. have seen one"
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
The Earth's other Motion.


The earth, in addition to its diurnal
and annual revolutions. has a slow
wabbling of its axis motion seldom
mentioned even in the textbooks of as
tronomy. This curious motion may be
properly likened to that impaired to a
top by a touch of the finger on it's rim
when it is in rapid movement, the
touch causing the upper end Of the
tops stem to describe a small circle
So. too, the mighty sun lays hold of
the rim of the great terrestrial top,
and it begins to oscillate in the long
period of 21OOO years-that is to say,
on Dec. 81, 1913. the earth made it's
nearest approach to the sun, and it
will approach equally near in 10000
years from that time, or on the 21st
day of June in the year 11,74S. This
has all to do with climate both north
and south of the equatorial line.
In the period comprising the first
our northern winters are short and
mild and our summers are long and
sunny. But during the period Of
which the year las will be the mid
die our winters will be awful in their
severity and our summers short and
cool. Even now the northern hemi-
sphere is slowly but surely losing lis
long, sunny summers. and if you should
live until the winter of the year II, 7IS-
40 you could tell story of cold and
SHOWS that would pale to insignificance
the stories of the cold winter of 1888
"a, for the whole northern hemisphere
will then be in the midst of it's great
and terrible winter.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
Butchers Scale.

At meeting of the Butchers en-
ployes of Kahspell. members of Fed
eral Labor union, No. It's. the follow
ing scale of wages was adopted, to
take effect February Is, 1908:
Slaughter house and shop men
sholl receive $3.50 per day or $91 per
month OF 26 days. Sausage men shall
receive So per day; drivers shall re-
ceive SOS per month of &c days. and
they shall be required to take care
of the stock on Sundays that they
drive through the week.
FRANK MILLER,
HERMAN SEIDEL,
A. f. M'LEAN,
FRITZ NIEMANN.
ED. A. TIESING.
Approved: Ed. A. Tiesing. Presi-
F. l.. u, 175. Frank Nichols.
Secretary.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
Valentine Dance.

A grand Valentine dance will be
held at the west side hall Friday
night, instead of the customary Sat
urday night affair. 1t is intended
that it shall be one of the most pleas
ant affairs of the winter, and many
new features will be intoduced. in
Guiding mail box. in which to mail
valentines. At II o'clock this box
will be opened AZ the valentines
given out. Parents & Chester's or
chestra will furnish music and a
general good time is guaranteed. Re.
member the date, Friday night. Feb
ruary IA.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13

Hell never saw anything like this
tide. Here I've been pulling steadily
for ten minutes, and we don't seem to
have moved a foot.
She latter a pause)-Oh, Mr.. Stroker,
I've just thought of something! The
anchor fell overheard short time ago.
and forgot to tell you. Do you sup
pose it could have caught on some
thing?
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
JacksOn's Self Control.

On the morning of the first battle
Of Winchester DR.. Hunter Mcclure,
Stonewall Jackson's medical director,
said to him: General. have some
very fine brandy. Will you take Il
drink?''
Jackson replied. "No; thank YOU"
Mcclure answered, Don't you like
it?"
Eyes" replied Jackson; Il like it too
well. That is the reason l do not
drink it,"
An impressive exhibition of his self
control that was Puritan in it's self
abnegatiOn.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
$oeiety'$ note Book e q q

Mrs. Monteath entertained about a
dozen of her friends at Dutch
luncheon after the club dance last
Friday night, which was very enjoy
able. The refreshments were excep-
dainty.
Those who We're entertained were:
Mr.. Whitestone and Miss Selmen
of Columbia Falls. Mr.. Kelsey of
Great Falls, Mr.. and Mrs. Lewis. Mr..
and Mrs. Welch, Mr. and Mrs. Met
tier; Messrs. Monteath. McAllister
and Richie.
Mrs. Helena Nye invited her
friends to her home in the country
on Tuesday evening. All kinds of
games. dancing and card playing
We're INDUCED in. At midnight a col
lation was served which was dainty
and appetizing.
The prize masquerade given by the
Daughters of Herman at the opera
house promises to eclipse anything
ever given in Kalispell. Ten hand
some prizes will be given and spe
cial music has been prepared for the
occasion.
Mrs. j. w. Walker. who has beer
attending the biennial session of the
Royal Neighbors, at Great Falls, wa.
selected as supreme delegate of tn;
order. which is the second time sht
has been thus honored
Mrs. c. e. Goodrich, who live.
near Boorman's mill, invited the
members of the Eastern Star to he
home on Wednesday evening. Abou
so were present. Very nice refresh
ments were served.
| o
The Valentine Dance" to be givel
at the opera house tomorrow nigh
promises to be great success an,
every indication that large crow
will be present.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
March of Refinement.

''Now that / think of it," remarked
the passenger with the skullcap, there
used to be little place on this line
they called Kiss Station, but it must
be something else now. haven't
heard the conductor call it OUT
"We're pretty close to it. think"
replied the passenger with the goatee.
"But it isn't Kiss Station any more.
They've changed the name but re-
tanned the idea. It's now
"Happy Junction. bawled out the
conductor as the train slackened its
speed for the next stop.-Chicago Trib-
une.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13

Finds PROFIT In His Good Deed.
Greene-After all, Slimset is good at
heart. He prevailed upon the boys to
give up smoking for week and to
give the money they would have spent
for cigars and tobacco to old Derby to
get him q suit of clothes.
Gray Yes; when Derby has any
clothes, he always buys them at Slim
sets store.-Boston Transcript.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
DIDN'T Want Too Much.

A Lone Star State man tells the fol-
lowing story of negro baptizing in
Texas:
An old negro preacher did the hon
ors, and the candidate for baptism was
a coal black negro woman. The preach
er led his victim far out into the stream,
where she could be thoroughly i'm
mersed, and at the suspicious moment
he cried in loud voice:
BE stiddy, sister. be stiddy, and
you'll cum up whitah den snow!"
"Oh. parson." she exclaimed, "dat's
askin' too much; cream colouh'll
do!"-New York Times
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
Beliefs About the Earth.

Newton, the great Sir Isaac. surmised.
although he could give no reason for
the conclusions he had reached. that
in the course of time the earth would
become perfectly dry. Others. mostly
De Verne. Professor A. L. Hamilton
and the younger Lysander, all believed
that eventually the earth would be-
come as dry as the proverbial chip.
Even In this day and age the theory
has many adherents.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13

One Minute Cough Cure gives re-
lief in one minute. because it kills
the microbe which tickles the mu-
ccus membrane, causing the cough,
and at the same time clears the
phlegm, draws out the Inflammation
and heals and soothes the affected
parts. One Minute Cough Cure
strengthens the lungs, wards of
pneumonia and is a harmless and
never failing cure in all durable
cases Of coughs. colds and Group.
One Minute Cough Cure is pleasant
to take, harmless, and good alike for
young and old. Bronson & Lighthall,
Frederick & Walker
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
X CHE Social Wbirl X

~>~~~~~~~~>~~~~~>~
She is very musical and whenever
she favors her friends it is indeed a
treat. 1t requires gifts of nature
and powers of invention so peculiarly
your own to give forth strains of
melody that take such a strange hold
on our feelings, which fingers for
days in our memory that we marvel
when we realize that it is a human
voice. She is witty, quick at repair
tee, frank and plain spoken, has
many good true friends. She is in
deed favored. What more could the
heart desire?
BY far, the most elegant affair of
by the Kalispell club to it's members
and lady friends last night. The fair
sex. richly and daintily attired, with
a background of brilliant lights and
redolent beauty. made the scene a
yeritable fairy land
The club rooms are spacious and
elegantly furnished and each men,
Der was a host in himself. nothing
was left undone to make the evening
perfect.
1t recalled to the writer these
lines:
Day is for toll and the hours long,
Day is for worry and drudgery;
But night is for women, dance and
song,
Day is for struggle and bitter strife,
Days are what shorten your pre-
cious years:
But night is elixir and hope and life,
Soother of heartaches and balm for
tears.
Day is for woe and troubles at best,
So drink. drink deep to the shadow
sprite;
Drink to long life and content and
rest
Here is my toast, and l drink to
night.
The gymnasium was used for dane
ing and throughout the evening re-
freshments were served. Sweet music
kept the dancers gliding to and fro
until the wee sma' hours this
morning.
The Best People on Earth" gave
social session on Monday evening
and invited their lady friends to par
ticipate in their festivities.
Mr.. George Phillips delighted the
guests with a solo, and Mr.. Dunsire
sang in his usual splendid voice an
old time favorite. my Wild Irish
Rose" Mr.. Rydlander sang "The Sen
tinel Am L. and Mrs. Broderick, who
is general favorite. sang. She
cheerfully responded to an encore,
singing The Good Old Summer
Time and the last verse was one
Of her own composition. referring to
the Elks and their gallantry; it was
indeed novel and made a decided
hit, Mrs. Garter very graciously
consented to recite and it was thor
ouehly enjoyed by all.
Dancing was INDUCED in until a
late hour, and buffet supper was
served. twenty being cared for at
once. 1t was a great success in
every way.
Another genius, but young one,
is a little fairy-curly haired sprite-
the pride of her father ana mother.
Only six years old, and counts her
friends by the hundred, kind and
gentle, bright and quick, she is
adored by all who know her.
At this early age she is able to
spell any word mentioned, as easily
backward, as to spell it the way it
is written. Just what this indicates
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
vacci.ated Before Welded,

In Brazil parents and guardians be-
fore consenting to the marriage of
their charges require medical GER
tificate from the bride or bridegroom
certifying that he or she has been vac.
cinated.
In Norway and Sweden before any
couple can be legally married certifi-
Gates must be produced showing that
both bride and bridegroom have been
duly vaccinated.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-13
On the Surface.

1t is true that a sneering face often
hides smiling heart, but it is equally
true that smiling face often covers
sneering heart. Which of these men
is the most fit to live, judged by the
happiness he diffuses? 1t is the sur
face of things with which we come in