The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-12-25
Strike Among the Toys:

by John Kcndrick Bangs

Lie uSual TeSpU1lSe.
What did they demand?' I asked.
smiling at the situation, in spite of
Santa Claus wrath.
They wanted to be slapped on the
back instead of prodded in the stom-
ach: insisted upon a four-hour day
and real hair instead of tow" Santa
Claus answered indignantly. Il can't
say l blamed them for preferring to
be slapped on the back to the other
operation, but the shorter hours and
real hair stumped me. We can't con-
troll the hours of labor the toys have
to go through after they are delivered,
and where on earth they expected us
to get the real hair from | can't i'm
aglne. But the worst crowd of the
lot was the Federation of Iron Wagon
Drivers and the United Order of Tin
Soldiers. They are pretty hard GUS
toners under any circumstances and
they objected to pretty much every
thing they had to do
The former, relying upon their in
destructibility, took to smashing
things, II when we called out a dozen
regiments of tin soldiers to maintain
order all of 'em mutinied, bent their
bayonets, refused to sit on their horses,
reversed their colors and affiliated with
the Iron Wagon Drivers. In all my
experience" Santa Claus added, i've
i't odAi q lldld lllllc "llD tIlG
toys before. The music boxes wouldn't
play anything but the 'Marseillaise,'
the rag dolls demanded Partisan trous-
seauX, the wax dolls refused to live in
houses that We're not provided with
n water, hot and cold; the mar
bles and agates wouldn't shoot straight
and in our plaster schools the children
all insisted upon being school masters,
instead of pupils
"RV JOVa' b,,t VOL, ,,,et b,,,o hal
time of it, l cried. But were there
no n%on-union toys among them"
Yes" said Santa Claus, there were
at first
And did they go over to the union?" I
asked
No" replied Santa Claus. 'They had
the sawdust shaken out of EN-, mostly,
by the Iron Wagon Drivers. Within a
week of our investigation, in which the
toys had to declare themselves as being
on one side or the other, we gathered up
eighteen basketfuls of non-union toys, not
one of which was fit for use.
The thing lasted until July, and every
time we'd yield a little they'd demand
more, and, by Jove! they finally got to the
point where they demanded that each one
Of them should be permitted to say to
what child he should be given and that
each should be delivered by special mes
senger instead of in the usual way. The
china dolls issued a statement saving that
they wouldn't go out at all unless each
was provided with three suits Of clothes
and 4 porcelain lined bathtub, and the last
word from the jumping jacks was that
they would consent to being left only in
Isle thread stockings and would refuse
to work except in response to a pull on, a
silken string, instead of the ordinary
twine we have used since the jumping
jack was invented. And. worst of all,
the motto candies required us to inscribe
them with lines from Browning, Shake
speare and Tennyson instead Of with the
usual jingles."
We'll, 1 declare" said I. But what
did you do? Is the strike on yet"'
Yes, it's on yet with that particular
lot" said Santa Clause. I'VE are through
with 'em. though. They can strike and
strike and strike for all we care. We just
turned in and made an entirely new sup
ply-leaving the walking delegates out,
The strikers have been left to their own
devices, and the new lot are all Of them
non-union. l hated to do it, but it was the
only way
so that now all is plain sailing again p
I asked.
moi exactly" said Santa Claus.
We've practically he'd to do a years
work in five months, and / regret to say
that, working day and night, we are still,
woefully short in our supply. We have
demands for about 4,C0O, coo more toys than
we can provide, and So. of course. there
viii be much Disappointment all over. I'm
awfully sorry, but we've lone our best
which is all anybody can do"
Il suppose 1 put it at this point, that
you ave the usual run of smoking jack,
cts and slippers, and golf suits and furs
and SO or, for the grow4lups this year"
NC, | haven't" said Santa Claus. I'VE
got u novelty this year for the grownups
When | realize our condition in the toy
side of our proposition l took all our
hands off the presents for grown people
and turned our energies entirely into re,
placing our toy stock. Everybody in the
place has been making toys, giving up the
smoking jacket and slipper end of it alto
gether Christmas is first of all the chill.
dren's season, you know"
And so we are to be without presents
this Year," 1 asked. w who have
ceased to be children"
mo, indeed!' cried Santa Claus jovially
I've got a present for the adults tina!
will warm the cookies of every heart II
terday, and I've fixed it already, SO tina,
it will be delivered all right"
and may 1 ask What 1t is?" said 1.
Certainly" replied Santa Claus, III
you'll promise not to tell
l promised, and Santa Claus Whispered
in my ear a single monosyllable which
filled my soul with delight. OF course, If
view of my promise, l cannot tell you
what it is the good old saint is to. gladden.
our hearts with on Christmas morning
but | can say this:
If. any adult reader Of this interview
finds a ton of anthracite in his stocking
on Christmas morning he need not be
very much surprised.
Overheard in a Gun Store.
Baltimore American: Desperate-look.
ing Party-I want to buy a revolver.
~Dealer-Yes, sir; here are the three lat.
est styles, this plain, substantial arm is
much used for self defense; this silver
mounted one with pearl handle is USED
for shooting sweethearts, and the cheap
i common affair is usually used to Shoot