Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-04
THE CAMPBELL TRIAL WAS
BURLESQUED.
An Extremely LudicrOus Episode
In Lynchburg.


In Lynchburg.
Richmond Tanss- Dispatch.
Seated around the festive board,
the sixty-five or seventy practicing
attorneys of Lynchburg, members
of the Absque Hoe Fraternity, had
presented to them in most vivid
and picturesque manner the several
events in the Crawford Campbell
pot-pourri, leading up to and in
the present investigation.
AS attorneys, these gentlemen
were naturally drawn to a case
which has aroused the interest of
the entire population of the Old
Dominion. Comparatively few of
them, however, had had oppor-
tunity to visit Richmond and Am
herst and for themselves witness
the affair as it proceeded. There
upon, when the Absque Hoes
gathered Monday evening last at
the Carroll Hotel in the Hill City
for their annual banquet, there
was provided for them a series of
living pictures, by means of which
they were to get an adequate
idea of the situation. For conven-
ience's sake an ardent Absque
Hoe polished the thing up into a
play, which, from what is told of
it, will live in Lynchburg literature
as a classic.
THE FIRST ACT.
Act | opened at Amherst Court
house, where was to be tried the
Rev. c.. H. Crawfish for contempt
Of court. Enter Judge Dromedary,
with satchel in hand. The Judge,
who was most wildly presented by
Mr.. Fred Harper, son-in-lew of
Senator John W. Daniel, took his
seat and proceeded to open court.
Court followers were standing
around admiring his beauty. Turn
ing to his satchel, Judge Drome-
dairy opened it and forthwith drew
five bottles of Amherst whiskey and
three army revolvers. Thus forti-
fed he ordered the sheriff TO open
court. The docket was read by
Clerk Sandwich.
MAY it please the Court" said
4 voice, 81 should like to make
Judge DrOmedary frowned in the
direction of the intruder, and in a
7Oice of thunder demanded:
"What district are you from,
,ir?"
"From Pedlar District, may it
please Your Honor"
proceed, sir. spoke the Judge ;
you are proper person to make
! motion"
MAY it please the Court" said
mother voice, 81 should like to
make a motion also"
"What district?" asked the
Court.
Temperance"
Bangl went one of the judges
Irmy pistols, leveled at the i'm
pertinent man.
Thereupon arose great cOnfus-
on. The Crawfish seized a big |
Whip, crowded to the front, and |
proceeded to horsewhip the Court.
For third time the army revolvers
igured again and the Crawfish
ook to his heels.
SECOND ACT.
Act ii covered the trial of Judge
)romedary. Scene again at Am
erst Courthouse. Enter Judge
'utty, who is to preside.
"Where is the jury list" quoth
e.
1t was told to the learned judge
hat Judge Dromedary usually
ept the jury list.
Judge Dromedary," said Judge
'utty, "is a man skilled in the art
+ selecting Jury. He knows
etter than anybody else who to
hoose in Amherst and who not to
hoose. Therefore, the Court Or
ers that Judge Dromedary be
flowed to select his own jury"
The jurymen are selected and
hey are examined on their venire
omewhat as follows: "Are you
itizen of Amherst9 Have you
ight to vote and hold Officer Are
on a judge of Amherst whiskeyf
Will you return a verdict of not
uiltyP" With great enthusiasm
very man replied in the affirma- {
We, and the jury was thereupon '
THIRD ACT. ,
Act III, che investigation Scene
Capitol building in Richmond.
nt9r seven members of the Com
ittee for Courts of Justice. Five {
urdy members bear in their hands {
lge buckets containing white
ash and a brush. The other two /
ave nothing. {
"Let it be known to ALL" an t
)unced Chairman NOrthall, THAT 6
lis committee will consent to hear |
lily such witnesses as will swear /
lat the conduct of Judge Drome' a
lry has been right and proper r
ny witnesses who think other \
Use will have to go somewhere |
Sc. They can't testify before /
lis committee. C
Witnesses are introduced. Mr.. P
homas Sorebead is called but does b
1t respond. Judge Putty is placed
,on the stand.
Cross-examination ensued until
ere was a sudden Inflammation. n