Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1903-05-08
Butting Into
Society
Hank Cut Ice In Circle City.
but Wasn't Worth Beans
In Boston
From Letters From a SIT Made MGR
chant 10 His S0n," ~ George Horace
Lrimcr. By permission ~ Small Nay
Rdrd & Co., Publishers, BStOn


Smith, and his wife Kate-Kate Bolts
she was before he married her-and
how they tried TO butt their way
through the upper crust.
Hank and l were boys together in
Missouri, and he stayed along in the
old town after | left. | heard of him
on and off as tending store little and
farming a little and loafing a good
deal. Then | forgot all about him until
one day few years ago when he
turned up in the papers as Captain
Henry Smith, the Klondike gold king,
Just back from Circle City with mil
lion in dust and anything you please
In claims. There's never any limit TO
what miner may be worth In those,
except his imagination.
was little puzzled when a week
later my office boy brought me card
reading Colonel Henry Augustus
Bottles Smythe, but | supposed it was
some distinguished foreigner who had
come to size me up so that he could
round out his roast on Chicago in his
new book, and | told the boy to show
the colonel in.
I've got pretty good memory for
faces, and I'd bought too much store
plug of Hank in my time not to know
him, even with clean shave and
plug hat. Some men dry up with sue
cess, but it was just spouting out of
Hank. Told me he'd made his pile and
that he was tired of living on the Stag
heap: that he'd spent his whole life
where money hardly whispered, let
alone talked. and he was going now
where 1t would shout. Wanted to know
what was the use of being mob If
fellow wasn't the nobbiest sort of
mob. Said he'd bought house on Bea-
con Hill, in Boston, and that If I'd
prick up my ears occasionally Ia hear
something drop into the Back Bay.
Handed me his new card four times
and explained that it was the rawest
sort of dog to carry brace of names
in your card holster; that it gave you
the drop on the swells every time and
that they just had to throw up both
hands and pass you the pot when you
showed down. Said that Bottles was
old English for Bolts and that Smythe
was new American for Smith; the Au-
gustus was just fancy touch. sort
of high card kicker.
| didn't explain to Hank, because it
tons that he wanted, and make it
point TO show a customer the line of
goods that he's looking for. And
never heard the full particulars of his
experiences In the east, though from
what | learned afterward Hank struck
Boston with bang all right.
He located his claim on Beacon Hill
between a Mayfiower descendant and
Declaration signer's great grandson,
breeds which believe that when the
Lord made them he was through and
that the rest of us Just happened. And
he hadn't been in town two hours be-
fore he started in to make improve
ments. There was high wrought
iron railing in front of his house, and
he had that gilded first thing, because,
as he said, he wasn't running a re-
ceiving vault and he didn't want any
mistakes Then he bought nice open
barouche, had the wheels painted red,
hired niger coachman and started
out In style to be socIable and get
acquainted. Left his card all the way
down one side of Beacon street and
then drove back, leaving 1t on the
other Everywhere he stopped he
found that the whole family was out.
Kept it up a week, on and off, but
didn't seem to have any luck. Thought
that the men must be hot sports and
, the women great gadders to keep ON the
jump SO much. Allowed that they were
the liveliest little lot of fieas that he
had ever chased. Decided to quit try
ing to nail 'em one at a time and
planned out something that he reck-
oned would round up the whole bunch.
Hank sent out a thousand invita-
tons to his grand opening, as he called
it; left one at every house within a
mile. Had brass band ON the front
steps and fireworks on the roof Or
dered forty kegs from the brewery and
hired fancy mixer to sling together
mild snorts, as he called them, for the
ladies. They tell me that when the
band got to going good on the steps
and the fireworks ON the roof even
Beacon street looked out the windows
to see what was doing. There must
have been 10000 people in the street
and not soul but Hank and his wife
and the mixer in the house. Some one
yelled "Speechp' and then the whole
crowd took it up, till Hank came out
on the steps. He shut Off the band
with one hand and stopped the fire.
works with the other. Said that
speechmaking wasn't his strangle hold;
the Klondike for so long that his gas
pipe was frozen, but that this well
come started the Ice, and he thought
about three fingers Of the plumbers
favorite prescription would cut out the
frost. Would the crowd join him? He
had invited few friends in for the
evening, but there seemed to be some
misunderstanding about the date, and
he hated to have the good stuff curdle
on his hands.
While this was going on the May
flower descendant was telephoning for
the police from one side and the sign.
er's great-grandson from the other,
and just as the crowd yelled and broke
for the house two patrol wagons full
of policemen got there. But they had
to turn in riot call and bring out the
reserves before they could hreak LID