Casco Bay breeze. [volume] (South Harpswell, Me.) 1901-1917, 1903-08-06
.ASermoh
FrOniIife.
Being the Tale Of a Piazza Yachts-
man.
HON. FRANK d. coMERFoRD.

Once upon a time there lived in
Classic Beantown, certain unpre-
tentiors Individual wearing the eu-
phonious label. Jonathan II. Moore,
to be more accurate Jonathan Hamil-
ton Moore.
Glorious ambition, the same brand
that caused Brutus to slay Caesar.
burned in this young Beanville Giant.
He was subject to day dreams, in
which he saw the world bow before
wakeful periods, he gloomily planned
his future.
John was of rural origin. To be more
specific he was a product OF Podunc-
willie. After receiving an education
in the Twenty Century University. one
OF those. Get an Education Quick and
Cheap Correspondence Schools, he had
said farewell to his Country Rustic
friends and armed with his Parchment
Eulogy he entered Boston. He found
the Arena too small for his Talents
here, so he listened to the decree Of
Ambition and turned his steps New
Yorkward.
Like many another Genius our
friend Jonathan found It dificult to
make his ability felt. Oddly enough,
the willy Morgan, did not go wild with
eagerness to retain his services. No
band met him at the depot and the
Town failed to suspend business to
welcome his Arrival. He carried with
him his Educational Pedigree, an ar
tistically gotten up certificate of Cul-
ture from the School of Letters. from
which he had graduated with Signal
honors. In true Hero style he gritted
his teeth and resolved to Conquer or
n
Before leaving Poduncville, fair
Jonathan had drank in the parting
words of Eulogfstic Prophecy utter
ed by the Village Sage, who predict
ed for Jonathan a Career" The am
b.tion for that fatal something known
as a Career" has caused more mis-
cry and disappointment to the Youth
OF America, than the King of Evil.
His Satanic Majesty-''WHISKE
His first week in New York was
given up to Taking In the Town and
the 7th day, the young man seeking
Career" had been taken in good and
plenty. The street vagabond with
true Sherlock Holmes ability had pen
etrated his ancestry and made known
their discovery by such guyins COM
ments as: "Rube." Rsyseed," and
Pumpkin Head"
Everyone seemed to look at him,
locke again and then Grin, Now JON
athan was Human, and most stren-
uously objected to playing the Roll OF
the Living Joke. So he took himself
to task before his mirror and made a
still hunt for the Humor Creating Ele-
ment in his makeup. To himself he
seemed quite q handsome Piece of
Clay Sculpture. True. he wore Rub
ber Collar and his Pants were OF the
Open Umbrella variety. After hours
OF meditation he brought in a verdict
decreeing the abandonment Of the
cherished Gutta-percha collar and the
Balloon Ascension trousers. He took
his Adonisian form to Tailor shop
and entered Is Of the hard earned"
for a new dress Architecture.
About this time he was getting paiu.
fully Shy on Coin Of the Realm, and
tress told him with maternal tender
ness that IL some of the Root OF All
Evil" wasl not soon forthcoming she
wofd be forced to tie painful duty Of
parting with his Congeni,l society.
One day while doing h.fdreiyard
Daih, In the race for a job. he stumbl-
ed across the Good Samaritan In the
person OF Percy Walker. a former res
idtnt Of Poduncville on the Pike.
Percy was the Real Thing. He was
a walking Gents Furnishing Poster.
He smoked his cigarette at the proper
London Swell Angle. and between
puns recited hair raising reminis-
cehces OF his life OF Social Conquest,
sisce his migration to- New York.
Percy was q Cyclonic Success as q
FIFTH Avenue Johnny. at least his own
modest reports. would prove up the
Charge. He had cards with his name
lettered IL old English type. wore Pa
tent Leathers. Passionate hose and
carried a Cane. =
He waxed long and eloquent about
bis pet Hobby. Golf, and the social
warfare going on among the Bellies Of
the Upper Crust" over his society.
Poor Jonathan was spell bound az
ali audiences should be, as well as
some few Orators. particularly the
flazz7 variety. He hungered for q
more intimate association with Percy,
the Lady Killer, but strange to re-
late Percy held himself aloof with a
dignity that was at least Ten Degrees
Pole.
Mr. Percy Walker kept "the wolf
rom the door oy jumping counters
Al ss per, although he was not ad-
vertising this little social drawback.
he did the noon day Free Lunch
March TO have money to keep up with
me fastidious. He patronizingly in
formed his awe stricken Fellow
Iownsraan to cheer MP and he would
see what, could be done in the way Of
setting him married to q piece OF the
weekly payroll
Enough said, Jonathan Hamilton