davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
He COmOletcd His TestimOnv

Too tenacious memory sometimes
leads to embarrassing situations. In
Tit Bits Is related the story of right
ofway case which concerned an ancient
footpath over an English estate. The
place had passed from an old and re-
spected family into the hands Of a rich
nobody.
The lawyer who appeared on behalf
of the landowner cross-eXamined ven
cradle countryman, who had testified
to his own personal knowledge that
there had been right of way over the
land ever since he was boy Of five.
And how old are your" asked the
lawyer.
'Elghty-five, sir"
But surely you can't remember
things which occurred when you were
a boy of five, eighty years ago."
"'Deed an l can, sir" asserted the
octogenarian witness. 81 can mind a
year afore that, when your feyther, sir,
old Skinfint Cargo us called him."
THAT will do; you may step down."
said the lawyer, hastily, as litter ran
round the courtroom.
-"got walloping from Mother Bum
combe-"
STAND down, sir!" said the lawyer,
wrathfully.
for chatin' her 2-year-old lass-''
"Do you hear? Stand down."
o. thruppny bit!" concluded the
venerable witness, triumphantly, as he
slowly left the box.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
TRAGIC CHRISTMAS JOKE.
Butcher Trified with a Man with lis
Last Ten. Dollar Bill

Butcher Trifled with a Man with His
Last Ten dollar Bill.
In West Washington market on
Christmas eve man without an over
coat and with every appearance of hard
luck moved with the crowd around the
stalls of holiday-making joking butch
ers. Tagging at his heels was little
girl with a shawl covering her head
and shoulders. The man bought two
oranges from a basket marked "5 cents
each" and gave them to the girl
There" he said, lone Is for you and
the other for mother-papa's Christ
mas present"
Then he went to butcher stall and
ordered small shoulder of mutton for
the cheapest kind Of holiday treat. He
handed the butcher bank bill closely
and carefully folded and waited for his
change. The butcher went to a neigh
boring stall to change the bill, took it
without looking at it, and came back
to the man.
But" exclaimed the purchaser 1T
was a tendollar bill l gave you"
Nothing of the sort" retorted the
butcher I'VE run no fim-fam game
here"
The man protested In such piteous
tones that the attention of other GUS
toners was attracted. Il am out of
work." he said, with no prospect of
getting any for a month. That was my
last ten-dollar bill after paying the
rent, and it means our food until more
money comes in. l showed 1t to my
wife before | came away, and she
urged me not to buy too large a piece of
mutton. l had no five-dollar bill. and
nothing else but the ten-dollar bill |
gave you"
Say joe" shouted the butcher to
his neighbor, what was that bill you
changed for me just now?"
"Ten dollars" was the reply "but
since you was such a ninny as to run
away with half your change thought
I'd let you go. Come and get the mans
S. and give 1t to him."
There was roar of laughter. The
man who had been made the butt of
this joke seemed to have aged five years
in as many minutes. He took the five
dollar bill without word, kissed his
crying child, and walked away.
And yet it is written that humor Ia
the most captivating thing In the
world.-New York Times.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11

- duCldl dDlllIL anu
In London. where he presldes over the
Morgan banking house, he Is account
ed one of the city's most brilliant fin
anciers. Mr. Morgan is now thirty
four years old and Is graduate Of
Harvard. After leaving college he had
the benefit Of association with his
father In the latter's business affairs
and was then selected to go to Lon
don to become the chief Of the great
branch bank Of Mr.. Morgan.
Mr.. Morgan. Jr., is married and has
four children. His wife was a Miss
Grew, of Boston. and the couple live
on one of the most fashionable streets
In London.
Though welcome to enter society
they do not devote much time to the
fads and follles Of the smart set. pre-
ferring small circle Of friends and
hearty and wholesome sport and re-
creation.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
PAINTING BIG ADVERTISEMENTS.
It Requires Little Skill, but Implicit
Confidence.

When man walking along the side
walk sees another ~,an suspended fifty
feet above him painting a nostril six
feet long or an eyelash five feet long.
the chances are ten to one that LIE
pedestrian will stop q moment to won
der how the painter. with his face SO
close to the picture, can get the exact
proportions of the human face. Ii any
one should tell the spectator tnat never
In his life until to-.ay had the man up
there tried to paint human face, the
information would be received with
laugh of scorn. Yet it Is no uncommon
thing for an ordinary sign painter to
be employed to paint picture Jim
Dumps" or William Penn, or any other
face used for advertising purposes.
Why is this? Simply because 1t is
merely a matter Of measurements and
accuracy and requires no artists Skill
The pedestrian on the pavement
doesn't see 1t, but the whole wall on
which the picture is being painted Is
laid off into number of squares,
made by, intersecting chalk lines. The
exact spot in each of these lines where
the tip of the nose or the toe OF the
foot shall be is as fixed as Is the day
for the next eclipse of the sun.
A visitor asked the head designer in
an outdoor advertising firm if it wasn't
hard to get men skillful enough to
paint these exaggerated pictures.
1.-The other gay" replied the design
or. II got man who had never paint
ed anything but letters in his life to
put face twenty feet high on wall.
and he did it as well as it could be
done"
Then he showed how the only part
that took any skill was done in his
own office. First he, or some other de
signer. drew small picture, about
quarter life size. on a piece Of square
cardboard When this was done the
piece of cardboard was divided by
pencil lines into siXtyfour squares, so
that its form was just like that of
checker board. This was given to a
painter and it was told him that each
square on the paper meant one fifteen
feet square on the wall.
Then 1t was easy for the painter to
Law off with colored chalk squares Of
the required size on the wall. When
he began to paint he took the design
ers drawing with him. There We're
explicit directions as to colOrs and the
kinds of brushes to be used. Then 1t
was only matter of proportions; If the
nose occupied half square on the
paper 1t occupied half the correspond
ing square on the wall, and If the but
ton on the coat was at the intersection
of two pencil lines it must be at the
same intersection of the chalk lines
The designer said that 1t was very
common occurrence for him to send
one man to finish picture that anoth
err man had begun. Once he had three
men painting the same figure, taking
turn about until the job was complete.
Its purely mechanical" he said. "If
we catch man using his own Ideas or
trying to display any originality we
get rid of him Immediately. Suppose
man took a notion into his head to
try few fancy strokes and we had
to put another man at 1t the next day,
wouldn't that picture. be a pretty
mess"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11

A st. Louis judge has recently taken
a stand that snould win for him the
appreciation Of right feeling people all
over the country. He has ruled that
no children shall be permitted to re-
main in the courtroom during the
progress Of the divorce proceedings of
their parents. The laxity in some
courts on this question has been most
reprehensible up to date. Children
lose their Ideals soon enough without
having them ruthlessly brushed aside
by contact with the frailties Of their
own parents. The minds of many
people have been turned in TINS direc-
ton recently by the examination of
Marion Burdick as to the relations
existing between her father and
mother
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
Cost Of Colonies to France.

France spends annually for her colo
MES q little more than S25.OO0000.
while the aggregate Of its business
with them. export and import. is but
$50, 100000. and but 1000 year emf
has not been the least successful coun-
try in building colonial empire. for
Germany's geographically large pos
sessions cost more than the aggregate
of the exports and imports from them
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
One OF Natures Jokes.

A species Of Australian fern which
grows in the shape of the horn and
antlers Of deer and stag has been aptly
described as lone of natures jokes"
The cause Of this extra ordinary repro
duction Of a feature Of animal life has
not been accounted for. 1t Is altogeth-
er battling to behold the thin green
horns curving out Of the tree trunk as
realistically as IL they We're growing
from the head of a stag. or to see the
branching and magnificent antlers Of
moose initiated even to the finest de.
tail. This striking eccentricity Is not
by any means the only remarkable fea-
ture of fern growth. The wonderful
manner in which these plants are prop
aeated has challenged the admiration
and awe Of students. Under a mag.
nifying glass hundreds Of the minute
spores which perform the function of
seeds look like only the smallest atom,
and SO imperceptibly are they scat.
tered from fern to fern that Shakes.
peare could think Of no better synonym
for love than 1.-The secret of the fern
Seed" which walks invisible"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11

the United States.
Nor Is this to be
wondered at, for J.
Pierpont Morgan
Jr., Is much better
known In London.
where he has lived
for several years.
than in New York.
The junior Mr..
Morgan Is said to
have inherited his
fathers great fin
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
IuapprCpriate.

That's the Bessie b. She's tramp
steamer
"The idea! Isn't 1t ridiculous to call
a steamer a tramp"
"Why?"
Because a steamer takes naturally
to Observation-Disclosures Press.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11

The average painter Of large pictures
earns about $50 week; larger sal
airy Is very rare. 1t is never hard to
get the man you want, the designer
says. because anybody that is used to
paint brush and can make measure
ments Is able to do the work.-New
York Times.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
HIIuaIIthOriZei.r


1t was in the state department Of a
great monarchy.
A messenger had just arrived with
dispatches.
The frowning monarch glanced an
grily over them and threw them aside.
Nothing doing" he remarked.
Then he hurriedly wrote Il few words
on a paper and handed it to the mes
senger.
"Get that off at once, and be blan-
kety-blanked quick about it," he re-
marked.
The messenger glanced at the writ
ten words as soon us he was out of
the room.
Which is a way with messengers.
The message was as follows:
'If you don't do some UNAUTHORIZED
bombarding right away I'll fire the last
limb of you. Get busy. "-Baltimore
American.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
Depended on the Amount,

Judge Ito witness)-You say you
have known the prisoner all your life?
Witness-Yes, your honor.
Judge-Now. in your opinion, do you
think he could be guilty Of stealing
this money?
Witness-How much was it?-Tit-
Bits.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
NO DOGS FOR LIBERIA.
Emigrants Failed to Secure Govern.
ment Permits in Time.

Emigrants Failed to Secure Govern.
ment Permits in Time.
Great was the sorrow of q p Of
negroes from Irwin county, Georgia.
when they had to part from their dogs
the other day. The White Star pier
resounded with their wailngs. The
bowls Of the dogs added to the out
burst.
How can we get along without dogs
In Liberia?" was the plaintive query
Of one of the men. There were fifty
four persons In the party-thirty-twO
men. twelve women and ten children
bound for the African Ian of.prom-
ise. They had two bloodhOunds and
two powerful fine coon dogs" But
when they trooped aboard the leu
tonic the man at the head Of the gang
plank said Get out" to the dogs.
"They're ours" said the leader Of
the emigrants. He was panied to
learn that his ticket didn't include
dogs. says the New York Press. He
We told he must get government
permit before the dogs could be re-
ceived at an English port. He com
municated that fact to his compan-
ions and then the sounds Of sorrow
arose.
"Them bloOdhOunds has followed a
scent fifty miles," mOaned George
Scott. But. under orders. he tied the
dogs in the waiting-room. When the
Tuetonic left her pier the animals
strained at their ropes. but couldn't
break them, and their masters and
mistresses soon were far away
"Pity they couldn't take the coon
dogs with them" said pier hand.
"There'll be great sport in Liberia. |
hear it's full Of coonS."
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
Not Worth such Outlay.

"There goes my pearl necklace into
the wash basin aud down into the
trap! Send for the plumher at once.
my dear"
Il guess not! Mt for one pearl neck
lacew-Life.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
Irony OF Fate,

what are you looking so wretched
about this morning?' asked a friend
of the author.
"Six invitations to dinner!" he
groaned.
"Why-that's regular windfallw
"Yes-but they're all for the same
y"-Atlanta Constitution.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11

II rde.t Kind of Nor<

"Oh. come. Carl. You know we must
make these calls.
Cant do it. Clara; have TO work"
"Heavens. Don't you call that
work !"-Life.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11

America is the place for an Ameri-
can boy, says Minister Bowen. There
is room also for any number Of good
boys from other lands. But they, in
turn. must become Americans If they
would succeed.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11

The smoker who has a good cigar
and nothing to light it with knows
what matchless misery really is.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
You can get interest

You can get interest
on your surplus mou.
ey from us and still
have ii rs safe as Ii you
had secreted it in the
ground. You can draw
your money with in
terest any day. 1t will
pay you to investigate
this proposal. Write
for particulars. No
matter how little. or
how much, idle money
you have, it should
earn you something,
and safely. Invest.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11

Consistency in yourself is synony-
nous with obstinacy in your neighbor.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
LONDON's j. PIERPONT MORGAN

Young Man of "a at the Head Of the
Great Morgan Banking House.
Many persons In this country over
look the fact that there Is ]. Pier
pOnt Morgan In England as we'll IS In
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
MANNERS OF CHILDREN.
Boston States the Case in the Bay State
Maryland Replies.

-MdTyIHHu NepIIebs
A Boston woman, described in the
dispatches as wealthy and promi-
nent," has created sensation by as
sorting that "the children Of the pres
ent generation are shoe. Ugly Ill bred
and disagreeable." 1t seems that she
has been the guest Of many Of "the
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
LET MONEY |
EARN |
MONEY. |

ments made Money loaned on improved city
or farm property; interest bearing securities
and timber lands for sale. Write us today.
OREGON & philadelphia SECURITIES co.
Mckay Building. Portland, Oregon.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
skYSs Permanently SO nts nervousness
tbuO after first lay of DR. klius's Great NoIvQ
aestorer. Send for FIR ZEE 81. 90 trial bottle and treat
Dr. r. H. KLINE Ltd v3l Arch st.. Philadelphia p

The truth of the matter Is that the
anarchists, the 'ihilists and people of
the same views, no matter under what
names they may figure, have not tried
to do away with the despotic rulers
of the world, but of the most liberal
and the most enlightened from the
unfortunate empress that was killed
IN Switzerland to the murder of tue
late President of the United States.
"The Klean Kool Kitchen Kind" is the trade
mark on stoves which enable you to cook in
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11
Peculiar
To Itself

In what it is and what it does-con.
tanning the best blood-purifying,
alternative and tonic substances and
effecting the most radical and per.
manent cures of all humors and all
eruptions, relieving weak, tired,
languid feelings, and building up
the whole SYSTEMS true only Of
Hoods JdrsdpdriH0
No other medicine acts like it;
no other medicine has done SO
much real, substantial good, no
other medicine has restored health
and strength at so little cost.
II was troubled with scrofula and came
near losing my eyesight. For four months
could not see to do anything. After taking
two bottles Of Hoods Sarsaparilla could see
to walk. and when had taken eight bottles
could see as we'll as ever" SUSIE A. HAIRS
TON. Withers, N. G.
Hoods SarsaparllIa promises to
cure and keeps tho promise.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-05-11

Aolners will fino Mrs. NlnsioWs 6OOth.
ING, Syrup the best remedy to use tor the''
shildren during the teething period.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1903-01-03
Distilled Wonan Dead

Rome, N. Y, Dee. 31-Miss Stella
Ewing, one OF the ossified women who
for 10 years have been living wonders
to physicians and scientists. died yes
terday, aged 80 years. At an early
age she VS. afflicted with inaamma-
tory rheumatism, which physicians
failed to relieve. At the age OF %
she lost the use OF her limbs. and emf
nent specialists said she was gradually
turning to bone. During the last 10
years of her life Miss Ewing was to-
tally blind and unable to move a mus
Gle. A sister. Mrs. Emma Ewing Pal
mer, is afflicted in the same manner.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1903-01-03
CONSUL coooNow ACCUSED
Our representative at Shanghai said
to CHARGE Excessive Fees.


Washington. Dec. 81. - John Good
now. United States consuigeneral at
Shanghai. has been made the object
of formal attack by the American As
ISOLATION at shanghai and the charges
viii be duly investigated by the state
department.. The principal charge IS
connected with the transfer from the
Chinese 20 the American Tag OF a yes
sci II is alleged that the consulgen-
eral charged excessive fees for his
part in the transfer Again It is
charged that nc refused TO perform his
duty in ordering a court OF inquiry TO
examine into tho facts connected with
with the wreck OF this ship.
MIR. Gooduow has put in n vigorous
defense. asserting that the first charge.
based principally on the affidavit OF a
Chinaman. is untrue. To the second
charge he replies that he was not ap-
preached by any authorized person to
order the court. Ii is expected that
when the state department comes 70
take up the case. the questions AT is
sue being mainly OF fact. IL VIII refer
the matter 90 the United States lega-
tion at pckin for examination and
report
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1903-01-03

SArIRnAl. IANIANY ;. 100.


meNiNISN'S Ni-cS MARRIED
Miss Mary Barber scesrne the wife
o. Maior Ssrtzeu.
Canton, o. Dee Sl-Nies N,rv
Barber. eldest danshtcr OF Mr. ana
Mrs. NJ. G. Barber. last evening be.
came the wife of Major Ralph Hart
cell OF Denver The ceremony was
performed az the commodious old sax
ton homestead. formerly the home OF
the Mckiulevs. now occupied by ths
BARRIERS. aud wees v .-,.d hv Mrs.
Mckinley. Mrs Mckinley and Mrs.
Barber are sisters. Rev o. r. Milf
gan. OF the First Presbyterian church.
cffciatod
Miss Barber was iavorite of the
late President Mckinley and spent
much OF her time at the White House.
and was In several presidential. parties
making extensive tours OF the country
as the particular companion OF Mrs.
Mckinley. She became a great favo-
rite in cabinet circles. and of the many
presents that came 20 her as "A bride
some of the handsomest We're sent bv
members of the cabinet and their fami-
lies.
Mrs. Mckinley was accompanied BY
CHIEF Counsel Brooks. Of the pennsyl-
vania Railroad Company. and Mrs
Brooks. OF shields. Pa. who ar, guest A
AT her home. Mrs. Brooks having been
a friend OF her girihood days. Mrs.
MoKinlcy's giit 20 the bride was a
splendid silver table service
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1903-01-03
Asks Mercy For sOer Sufferers.

Cape Town. Dee. 81. - General
schaIkburger. formef3acting president
OF the Orange Free State. in an open
letter published in Onsland. appeals to
the government to be merciful to those
who suffered as a result OF their devo-
ton to the Boer cause and to remove
the grievances which now make it i'm
possible TO live up to the motto For
give and Forget" In conclusion Gen
eral Schalkburger expresses the hope
that the people will show that the
power of rule in South Africa lies in
the Afrikander. who will remain loyal
while righteousness reigns and while
his rightful portion is allotted him"
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1903-01-03
MEAT TRAIN WREckep

Three Men Killed and Enoine and
Eighteen Cars Thrown Into Ditch.
Quincy. Ind, Dec. 31-In the wreck
OF through Chica go-Louisville freight
train on the Chicago. Indianapolis and
Louisville Railway tMonon) here yes
terday, Engineer Albert s. Barker.
Fireman Joseph C. Eglin and Brake
man Hiram Perry we're killed and the
engine and 1s cars. loaded with hogs
and cattle, were piled up in ditch.
A switch lock had been broken, sup
posedly by tramps. and the switch
turned.
The train was what is known as the
meat train" and was loaded with live
stock. meat and beer.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1903-01-03
Another Assent lyman For Addieks

Dover. Del. Dec al. Edward Ad-
dicks won another assemblyman in a
special election yesterday IN Kent
county's Ninth representative district.
called by Governor HUM to vote OF
tie in the November election be-
tween James Wilbur Powell. Union
Republican. and solomon Sapp. Demo
crat. Where the men were tied before
at 424 yesterdays election resulted in
Sapp receiving only S04 votes. while
Powell jumped to 1876 giving the latter
a plurality of 1872. Addicks will now
have % votes on joint ballot for Unit
ed States senator to start with. Tween
ty-seven votes are necessary TO a
choice
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1903-01-03
Minister Blew Out the GAG

Philadelphia, Dec. 31.-Rev. John r.
K Sellers, Methodist minister OF
Guysboro. Nova Scotia, who was visit.
ing his brothers in this city. was found
dead yesterday in the hea lquarters of
the Reading Railway Young Mems
Christian Association. He had blown
out the gas through ignorance of its
usage and was asphyxiated. Mr.. Sellers
was spending the Christmas HOLIDAYS
here. and stopped at the Y. NJ. C. A.
headquarters
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1903-01-03
For Over Sixty Years.

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has
been used for over sixty years by millions
OF mothers for their children while teeth
ing, with perfect success. 1t soothes the
child, softens the gums, allays all pains.
cures wind colo, and is the best remedy
for Diarrhoea. IL will relieve the poor
little sufferer Immediately. Sold by
Druggists in every part OF the world.
Twenty-Five cents bottle. Be sure and
ask for Mrs. Winslow's Soothing
Syrup" and take no other.