The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1903-11-11
HUMOROUS.

NO, he says the climate here doesn't
agree with him." Il wonder IL that's 8
why he keeps changing it so much"
That's the local weather forecaster
who just passed us" Indeed? He isn't
q very healthy looking man, is he?"
you mustn't kiss me-papa might
hear you" Isis he near enough TO
hear us?" Yes, but he's very, very
deaf"
do you know anything about flirt-
ing?" mo" he replied sadly. 81
thought l did, but when tried it,
hanged IL the girl didn't marry me-"
Mrs. Goodum-Always be kind to
animals. little boy. Now, have pet
toad and feed flies to him every day.
Boy-Well, dat's not so awful kind to
de flies.
"Our new cook seems very well con-
tented out here in the country" "She
has lived in the country before" How
do you know" by the burrs on her
tongue"
Husband losing all patience)-O.
why are you forever bothering me for
money in this way? Wife (coolly)-
l suppose it's because | can't think OF
a better way.
II never could understand" said the
old fogy, what is the great attraction
in automobiling. Perhaps" replied
the beginner with the bandaged head
'it's the attraction of gravitation."
Maud Cat the party)-There's Irene
over in the corner, talking to Cholly
Slympate. She has to do something
to kill time. Mabel-Is that why she
looks daggers at the clock every few
minutes?
Tommy! stop that noise, and come
here to me-" said Mrs. Phamley. "Do
you know whose day this is?" Yes
Ma'am," replied Tommy. promptly
Whose is it?" "Bridget's. Mary Ann
was out last Sunday"
The Girls Father-And you say you
are sure your love could stand any
test? The Smitten Swain-Sure of it.
have even seen her picture in that
family group taken in the days when
the girls wore jerseys.
Il am afraid" said the very wealthy
young woman TO the titled wooer
that our ideals differ" "ln what
way?" Il should like to be loved fol
my own sake, while you expect to be
loved for the sake of your family"
81 am taking such an interest in the
transmigration of souls. Miss Pert,
said Cholly. 81 wonder what I'll be
my next time on earth?" Perhaps,
replied Miss Pert thoughtfully and
with a smile of encouragement, you'll
be a man."
why are you so happy?" asked the
friend who had just dropped in. The
cashier has skipped" replied the bank
president. Il don't see why that
should cause any joy" Yes, he has
skipped $4,000 that was in secret
drawer"
Miss Chellus-Have you really prom.
ised to marry old Mr.. Goldrox? Miss
Skeem-Yes, and hope to goodnes:
he'll keep his promise to me. Miss
Chellus-Why, are you afraid he won't
marry you, after all? Miss Skeem-
Oh, no, it isn't that; but he said ht
would die for me.
Miss Pert-He met you at the beach
this summer. Miss Ann Teek-Yes,
| just heard his telling you about 1t
Didn't hear him say also that l was
frivolous like the other girls he me-
| there? Miss Pert-Not exactly. Ht
said you were mot frivolous like thu
| girls he met there"
Friend-Working at something new
Inventories, sir; greatest thing yet
It's a new patent safety life preservel
for ferryboats, steamers. etc. FrienC
What's its advantage over the ole
kind? Inventor-The advantage? Why
sir, you may not believe, but it's Sc
| light that If thrown to person in thu
water 1t can hit him without killing
him.