The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-09-01
THE. NONPAREII1 MAN

readers is positively painful to those who listen.
-Bixby's Drift
The doctor, as usual, is right Nothing
is as painful as an elocutionist or singer
who puts on dog and hands out a large
bunch of agony to an audience that is
unable to escape end which is restrained
by polteness from throwing things. AS
between the yellow entertainer" and
having a nerve treated, give US the
dentist.
| Chicago professor says that talking
| machines will supercede books. How
would you like to hear strident In
diana historical novel hurting thru the
air?
| Uncle Jim in the Appleton Press warns
| his young friends against a certain brand
| of matrimony. Uncle says:
| He who gets married casts the irrevocehls
! die burns his bridges and eats his declarat on
Of independence. He bucks very coarse SHE'LL
game, but he can't the crooked deal @ntii |
/ it is too late to hedge man may lose money.
reputation, eternal salvation and health, but he
hasn't really lost anything unless he lose~ in
the great connubial handicap derby.
man may win fortune, facial prettiness and
honor, but he hasn't got any more than fab
bit If he buys social blank with cross-e.ea
mother -in-law.
=. There is cure for swell head there is relief
for the lovelorn; there Is succor for the dy' \
peptic; there is balm In Gilead, but for the mat
|
!, Mary MacLane's new book is out and
the critics as usual say it is bad. The
Chicago Journal is perhaps the harshest
and coolest of all. 1t says:
No matter how young child may be, YET
when she has belIyache she has also clear
understanding Of the fact and is able to convey
, full knowledge of her sufferings to the other
members of the household. But when she Is
! free from pain and is delivering to dolly her
t views of the universe its origin management
and destiny, we are pretty sure to think her
nuisance and pack her off to bed.
The Journal goes on to the conclusion
that we can stand the "shocker" better
4 than we can the bore.
If there is any trouble with Mary it is
likely to be that some thirty thousand
G or 50 Of her first book were actually sold.
Very few people can rise superior to a
literary success like this. -
4 Eddie Brooks. whom member of the
Ants and Crahfts Society once referred
to as lone of our local biblio-feels." re-
turned from Yurrup last evening with a
large stock Of worldly wisdom. a travelled
! air and grip decorated with hotel bills
from the effete luncheries Of the old
J. world AS Eddie stepped from the train,
t. the excited populace broke into frantic
ye cheers and surged forward to grasp his
hand The police held them we'll in check
however, and no one was hurt in the
Ia crowd After quiet was secured an adj
ID dress of welcome was read by George
Norton Northrop, after which Arthur
Epson broke out into a poem.
Mr.. Brooks was deeply touched by these
manifestations Of joy and promised tt
raise prices at once.
AS the crowd melted away, the chie
conspirators escaped in the confusion.
The Writers League, formerly well ant
favorably known locally as the Author
! club, was close to the real thing the othe
| night when Ralph w. Wheelock got to
! gether and read before it a work emit
| tied Some Literary Lights Of the North
! west" Progress brings to hand tn
| lawful details and admits that MI
i Wheelock gave glimpses of various III
il erary lights" Heart failure was nearl
Il superinduced in this column by the dis
! covery that it was a literary light,
| (number Of candle power not mentioned
| We are undecided whether to have OF
picture taken with hat on back of hea
and holding a cigar Ia the tough your1
author of to-day or whether to grow
. head Of long hair falling gracefully
our shoulders and then to pose before tn
camera as the Real Thing with boo
in our hand and a far away expression II
dicating "Behold. Me! I Am! Wrapped, ]
~ Thought" e- .. $500 * -
Other '1ights' are Doane Robinson
ha HAYDEN Carruth, Sam T. Clover, Jane
o w Foley Willard Dillman, Mortim
Crane Brown, Victor Smalley, Jt
Rlethen Dr. Denton. Miss McFadden al
NV Ham Garland.
Wy. Whoop!! We are eight! Wouldr
ng. that move you?
me A. J. R.