The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-10-19
WHISPERS AND VANITY.
A Wicked Man Has Tested the Weak
ness of His Bearded Brethren.


New York Commercial.
There is a tradition. as well as a burn.
ing popular belief, in various parts Of this
country that the wearing OF whiskers-that
is, genuine "whiskers'' of the long, flowing
SORTS always an affectation and IN nine
ty-nine cases out of hundred positive tes-
timony that the wearer is stuck on him.
self"
A coterie of choice spirits out i'm Frisco
used to delight to put the thing TO the test,
and their final decision was that. without
exception, the wearer of long whiskers is
vain in the possession OF them and may be
made to put up with a good many personal
indignities If only his insulter understands
how to appeal successfully to ''his whis-
kers' " vanity. These merry Charters used
to lay wagers OF wine and dinners and
money, with outsiders always. on the
chances Of offending any whiskered indi-
vidual encountered on the street, in a car.
on a ferry-boat or I'm any public place by
pulling or stroking his beard. They never
lost The insinuating compliment on that
soft, silky, beautiful beard OF yours ale
ways carried the day.
One of that coterie has lately come TO
New York to live. He Is Arthur G. Dom
nell, an official of leading gold-mining
company. whose suite of Offices is In the
Broad Exchange. He has been here only
about year, has tried the whiskers-pulling
trick here on all sorts and conditions OF
men, and never once has he failed to do the
trick, always escaping unframed and deep
in the good graces of the party thus pulled.
Down near Fulton ferry the other day
Donnell and friend noticed an aged Sicil
ian tending corner fruit stand. He was
neatly dressed In blue serge, and his snow
white beard, bushy and bristling about the
cheeks and ears, tapered of symmetrically
like an inverted pyramid, the apex being
well below the bottom of his waistcoat. as
he stood erect About the lips the beard
was badly yellowed through excessive and
careless smoking. The man spoke fairly
good English, and his tout ensemble"
seemed at the outset to forbid any familiar
ity with him. Approaching him brusquely
Donnell laid a soft hand on the old mans
shoulder and asked:
How much for this basket of grapes?'
Eighty cents"
'Why, out in California, my country, I
can get the same thing for quarter
"oniy ten centesimo, But not in New
York''-and he shook his head sorrowfuily.
"Ah." sighed the insinuating Donnell
in dear old Sicily,'' And with his right
arm still on the old mans shoulder and his
left hand toying with the apex of the
mo such fine boards as this in America,
Jack, L have seen them there ia Sicily
fully four feet long, but none so silky and
beautiful as the old gentleman's here"
10 protest from his whiskers." when
/ was thirty years DID," he said, reminis-
Gently and proudly. this beard of mine was
fully foot longer than now"-aDd here he
pulled an old-time tin-type from his breast
pocket to prove IT.
two visitors In chorus as they examined
the likeness. The old man insisted on their
keeping the picture as a souvenir, gave
o. Wit NH
beard goodbye pull.
Ten minutes later in Wall street the pair
encountered tall, well-groomed man OF
about thirty coming out of the old CUSTOM
house. He wore a high hat with a deep
weed on 1t, goldbowed spectacles, and a
bushy gray beard parted in the middle and
combed we'll out onto his shoulders; VIC
toria was awaiting him at the curb; he was
dgnified and even naughty In appearance.
and this moved the New Yorker to whisper
TO the Californian: "A cold quart you
! can't work him.
Done. Here goesr'
The Californian rushed up 10 the stranger
with extended hand, saluted him as Uncle
tion at his blunder as the elderly man
'stood him off,"
Perhaps" explained Donnell. insInuat-
| ingly 81 may be pardoned for my mistake.
| You have the same figure and general style
as my uncle, the same good-htting Clothes,
| the rudy cheeks, and that magnificent
beard of yours is a perfect image OF his -
| and here the chatter touched the hirsute
forest, parting 1t lightly with his gloved
| right hand.
Il trust" responded his whiskers -
| beamingly. that your uncle's beard isn't
| falling out so fast as mine Is. / much fear
| that i shall have to shave IL on"
Don't do 1t. i implore YOU" pleaded
Donnell. its something quite too grand to
/ be SACRIFICED
| 'sWill you gentlemen join me I'm a drink
at the buffet over yonder?'-this from the
| bearded stranger
They both Joined.