The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-01-31
UNCLE MING0 ON
SOUTH AMERICAN AFFAIRS.

Il declare observed the waiter, IF
dem fellers cen Sout' America amt
always elder gittin' cen or else gittin'
out peck O. trouble"
Dat amt no lie" said Uncle Min
go; "dey seems to be very onres less.
Edible time l go roun' to one o desc
power house an look at the big fly
weel it put me cen min O. dem peo-
pie down dere."
How so?" asked the waiter.
Cause it make SIGH frequent reb-
burlutions," said Uncle Mingo, Zen
dis country wen we talk bout de Reb
Evolutionary War we look pom it as
sump'n VERY remote an way back
yonder-roin' bout de time O de
flood an SIGH like. But down dere, if
de cook happen to stay tree weeks,
de missis say, She is very good
gall she's been wild me ebber sence
de Rebberlutionary War befo' de las.
A Teller will say to his frien', ole
man, dat hat o. your'n look like It's
gittin a little shabby. %, no. he'll
say, cant be. It's mos neW-only
been troo six Rebberlutionary wars
yet De doctor will say to de frolickin'
patient, My dear sir he say, you
gifts on a spree quite too frequent an
often. A little spreein' now an den, is
'lowable TO de bes' oh men, but not too
much-not too much. Really, sah,' he
say, you mus cut dem down a few
Well doc, de Teller say, 4 guess you's
right; spose we say a spree to ebble
q 'giCl
'casiors is mo- or less exc!tin'.' era
cious me- say de doctor dat won't
nebber do cen de worI! l nebber hear
oh sch a ting, wy he say, you'd be
always drunk an nebber sober.
"Dey is sho all mix up cen Wene-
zoola," remarked the waiter.
Amt dey, dough- said Uncle Min
go. "Dey is sholy a funny people down
dere Zen de ole times If you git a
crowd o Fort boys fightin an punch
in one anudder, an den one o dem
sing out, Look out fellers, here's a
Yamacraw crowd comm immejitly
dey stop lighting mongs' deirself, an
all pitch cen to lick de debbil out de
strange fellers. Zen dis country de
Demmercrats an de Republicans kin
fight an quoil an spute ontell you
tink dey hates one anudder like pison.
But let dere come along a war wild a
oulSlVe Country az YOU NOull uCbDcl
know dere was SIGH ting as Dem
mercrats an Republicans. But down
dere cen 'Veuezoola, If de Demmer-
Gratis is President, de Republicans gifts
to i!ghtin'; an wen a real outside war
starte Std oh all gittin' togedder, dey
say to one aaudder, Now, boys, dis Is
our chance! Vile dem rascals cen of
fee is,.ha bin all dat extry trouble let's
pitch cen, an alb EN- de debbil!'"
- -. l. at
like dem two big countries ought to
be shame o. deirself for comm down
so severe on dat pc little chap wot
was habin' so much trouble at home
already. An den to go an sink de
ships an shoot down de Totes"
Dat may be-" said Uncle Mingo
but neider you nor me don't know
bout de rights oh de case"
Maybe not" said the waiter; but
is 'sprised DAT Uncle Sam amt done
nothn' 'cep' stan by an look on
"Wel, You Sc" said Uncle Mingo,
Sam he look. on an say. so fur, an
no furder,' Now" said Uncle Mi go,
how fur dat fur may be befo' de ur
commence to fly, / dunno, an neider
does you. It's dis-a-way:
"A little fCl er keep a shop, an him
an his folks is always a quoilin' an
flghtn' eenside on:ill dey can't MAKE
no money, an de business go to de
dogs. Wei oose after vile dem
wot he buy from an owe money to
come roun' to .collec'.
Very sorry he say, comm to de
do, but would you please come again
day after to-morrer.'
"Dey grumble mo- or less, an goes
off. Day after -to-mo. rer dey come
back.
lawfully Distress he say but I'se
really strap up to-day. Would you
min lettin' it stan ontell dis time weak
after mex p
AT dat 'cose dey grumbles still mo-,
and say dey is tired o. bein' put off.
Howsomeebber, 'dey goes, an week
chune; nil esperandunn-nothin doin.
Cant wait no longer dey say;
mus hab de money, or else know de
reason wy
s"Ain't got de money; OATS de rea-
son, de Teller say. Den he got to hurry
back to see de meanin OBJ all dat
confugion an smashin' goin' on Gen.
side. De fellers outside git madden
un' madden, an say dey got to git
stan'in' cen front de shop, so dey I'M
hitch de horse an glib him a cut wild
de w'ip, an way he goes, gallopin'
down de street. Den dey smash up de
Vaughn, an after dat dey commence
to chunk rocks troo de glass winders.
Out come de Teller, wringin' his hands.
'Gentlemens.' he say, 'wot kin do?'
Pay up dey say, or else We'll
clean you all out an den take way
your shop
"All dis time a big rich neighbor mex
do wot ebblebody respec' an who
word pass for law all roun dem parts,
ives settin' on his stoop smokin' his
pipe, an WE tchin' wot was goin on.
When he hear dem say take way your
shop, up he jump.
Z" 'Gentlemens,' he say, we has a rule
roun' here dat no shops is to be took
away by nobody wot don't reside cen
dis bailiwick. You kin go ahead he
say, an smash wagons, broke win
ders, an shoot. an kill all you want
but wen 1t come to takin' de shop, he
say, OATS were we draws de line"
Mrs. Prissims-Oh, but / got taken
in when married you, you wretch. Mr.
Prissims-Yes; out of the cold.-New-
ark NeWa