davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30

II those who are doubtful M TO the
correct course TO pursue in any given
situation VIII remember that even the
wrong thing Is overlooked il one Ia but
absolutely polite IN the doing Of 1t. their
relief might be great
A gentleness of demeanor and a cour.
teous response or question can never be
out OF place, 4 man may wear bust
ness suit OF clothes 10 an evening wed
ding less noticeaby than truculent
air of insolence. II he he perfectly well
bred as far as behavior goes. II matters
moi So much what his outward garb
although by an unwritten law OF social
observance certain clothes are the cor.
rect thing for certain occasions.
politeness is never wrong. lis prac-
tlce goes nearly all the way toward the
goal of the right thing in the right
place. We hear of polite insolence, but
insolence is never polite, and II is never
under any circumstances polite TO be
insolent
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
Never Better.

Our city and surrounding
country were never i'll a more
prosperous condition. Our
factories are overrun with or
ders and our farmers report
the outlook for large crops
never better, This means
plenty of wealth coming into
our community, and the ques-
ton where and how to spend
it to those i'll doubt we extend
an invitation to visit our om-
bination Store and inspect our
large assortment and prices.
We have i'll all our depart
ments a full line OF Dry Goods,
Notions, Croekeryware, Staple
and Fancy Groceries, Wood
ware, Wash Machines, Oil
loths, Oil Stoves and Fresh
and Salt Meats (Fresh Fish
on Fridays). We exchange
for all kinds of farm produce.
Give us a trial.
G. ]. FISHER CO,
Cor. Union and Ferry SITS.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
4 nnrncnn Mrnnnn.

The Bornean mandan. or head taxi
err" is modification of the Burmese
dab. 1t is a heavy, thick bladed cut
lass. from twenty TO thirty inches long,
and the edge is ground from the right
side only, the left side being forged
slightly curved to the right. so that the
cutting action Of the weapon is like
that Of an enormous gouge. only two
strokes can be dealt with the mandau-
from right to left downward and left to
right upward Chambers journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30

The clock plant is IA native of Borneo,
and In that country even 1t is said to
be rare The plant derives its name
from its peculiar habits. which are
known 10 but few who have not studied
IL from scientific standpoint. The
plant has leaves Of Two sizes, one
of which acts in the capacity of II
minute hand. which keeps moving I'M
iii 4 o'clock in the afternoon. and the
other keeps going until morning The
larger leaves act as the hour hands.
Starting in II position when all the
leaves lie close TO the stem. with the
points hanging down, they rise gradu-
ally until they turn toward the top,
and then they drop TO their former pc
sition. 1t takes the smaller leaves
about one minute 10 go through this
performance and the longer leaves Just
about IN hour Melbourne Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
EfspaIiffn 4. Old

Flsealitis is disease that hourished
in England as far back as the four
teenth century, only the tax that was
then imposed upon foreign goods was a
broken head TO the maker of them
When Wat Tyler's people entered
Southwark In 1871 their anger was SO
great against the Flemish weavers aud
other workers that they made the pro-
nunciation OF bread and cheese" u test
of the honest home worker, and who
ever failed to pass ii WAS deemed a
Fleming and put TO death A century
later Cade's kentishmen had for one OF
their cries. The foreigners forestall
the market, and so Englishmen want
and staryef'
About 1885 England WAS called the
Asylum Christi, SO many were the for
eign weavers, brewers. silk workers
and Jewellers who settled there. and II
popular saying in Henry Wills reign.
The French teach us how 10 make
hats and how 10 take them or. shows
the Importance OF foreign made goods
ut that time London STANDARD
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
A TIRELESS WORKER.
The Marvellous Energy That Was .
Part of MncauIay.

No life was ever lived at higher pres
sure than that of Maeaulay. He was
not only like book In breeches," as
Sydney Smith said of him; he was also
like an intellectual steam engine. His
thirst for knowledge was only equaled
by his amazing capacity for retaining
knowledge and by his passionate inter
est in all the aspects Of life. Il wish
| knew as much of anything as Ma
caulay knows OF everything" said Mel
bourne, and, though the epigram may
have been intended MS a gibe, II APP
proXimated TO the truth. To the aver
age dullard of the world IL must have
seemed that this tempestuous man was
literally omnlscient He plunged into
Italian like boy rejoicing in new
toy; lie took up Spanish with an appe-
tite growing by what II fed on, and
then he returned to Greek with a joy
which he found indescribable. He
amused himself in going TO India by
learning German and mitigated the dis
tress of voyage across to Ireland by
committing Paradise Lost to mem
DRY, claiming, doubtless with truth,
that il by any Uncomfortable mischanee
the great epic were TO be utterly de
stroyed he could from the tablets of his
memory give it back to the world
London News.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
Why fosr Conee Ia bad.

Bridget is an excellent cook: but.
like most women OF her profession she
Is opinionated and insists upon making
all her dishes strictly according 10 her
own recipes. Her mistress gives her
full swing not only us 10 cooking, but as
to the purchase Of supplies. The other
day her mistress said 10 her:
Bridget. the coffee you are giving Us
is very good. What kind is it,
1T is no kind Mt all. mum" said
Bridget, Its mixter"
How do you mix itT'
81 shake il one-quarter Mocha aud
one-quarter lava and one-quarter Rio. "
But that's only quarters. What
do you put in for the other quarter
II put in no other quarter at all,
mum. That's where SO mnny spoil the
coffee num-by putin In another
quarter. New York Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
The Old Time Pepper MIL.

A pepper mill is Il piece Of silver not
often seen on tables nowadays Epg
lish housekeepers. however, still use
the pepper mill. and American silver
smiths sometimes keep 1t TO meet the
demands of old fashioned families who
prefer 10 grind their own pepper rather
than risk the chance OF adulteration.
The pepper mill dates back 10 the time
when pepper WAS Il scarce commodity
and was always ground NJ the table
from the peppercorns. Pepper was so
valuable in those days that rents were
often paid in peppercorns, and the high
prices they brought were among the
incentives that induced explorers 10
brave the dangers OF the unknown
deep. II short passage could be dis
covered 10 the Indies, IL was agreed 10y
all that Il wealth OF pepper could be
easily brought 10 Europe.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
The yi.ihlr md in,t.ible.

The wisest Indian philosophy has
never boggled. like ours, over that silly
word supernatural. The tpanlshad
says, What is in the visible exists also
In the invisible, and what is in Brahms
world is also here" The ultimate, al
belt unreachable. is ms real 10 the Ash
attic mind as rice. and in the Bhagayad-
Gita Arjuna Is actually permitted TO
behold the embodied infinite. Indeed
ii il rather this present existence when
India regards as the Illusion, the uiaNa.
To see the stars Va must wail t"r
night, and to live we must die Nor ~
II uninterestlng 10 note IN Hindoo clbs-
sizes how these large and happy serenl-
ties OF oriental view have softened per
qualifications Of death Sir Edwin Ar
mold
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30

Burma is unique among the coun-
tries OF the east in the position accord.
ed 10 women. There is no purdah
there. and. gentle as she looks. the
married woman is the head OF her
house. The girls before their ears are
pierced. which is equivalent 10 com.
ing out reception. are allowed To roam
about the streets playing boyish games
with their brothers and their friends.
and afterward there are many oppor
tunities for young men and women 10
meet at festivals. boat races and other
gayeties. Marriages ia Burma there.
fore are usually love matches, and the
unmarried woman is in no hurry 10
change her state. Burmese womel arc
charming. generally slender, dainty
and demurely coquetlish They wear
gayly colored garments. which make
them look like flower beds. and their
hair. which Is shining and smooth, il
always uncovered and decked with
flowers
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
A Highland Dinner,

"The highland dinner Is very smart
affair, and one that Is never seen south
of the Tweed. says the London Queen.
THE laird wears his full dress kilt ev-
cry night. and every one with any
claim TO clan does the same. SO that
often there are more Killed men around
the table than black coats.
The full kilt dress is splendid. and
Il man TO the manner born looks far
better In II than in any other clothes.
1t gives width, height and dignity 10
the wearer with It's shayd. sporran and
brooches. Not only does The laird wear
his highland dress, but toward the end
of dinner his piper, who has played in
the hall outside during the meal, comes
into the room and marches around the
table, The pipes are little deafening,
but the player looks SO fine that one IL
glad te see him. Most OF the plpers in
the more noble families have Inherited
the position from their ancestors and
are rightly proud OF the post. After
dinner, IL there is Il big house party,
there Is often dance. Then the piper
is at his best, as he plays his pipes for
the lightsome reels 10 be danced beat
ing time with his foot the while.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30

The Japanese language has no equiv
alent for our word hell" but has the
word "jlgoku" instead. Jigoku consists
OF, first, eight immense hot hells, rang.
Ing ore beneath the other in tiers. Each
OF these bells has sixteen additional
bells outside its gates, like 81 many
antechambers. 40 that there are in all
1856 hot bells. Second. there are eight
large cold bells. each with IFS sixteen
ante-hells. making the same number OF
cold that there are OF hot hells Be
sides these 2I2 hot and cold bells for
offenders OF the common sort the willy
laps have twenty mammoth bells OF
utter darkness into which will he
consigned the spirits OF children who
take the name OF Da i'utsa or Grea I
Buddha in vain.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
CROWDED THE HOUSE.
The Successful scheme OF a rheat-
ricaI Press Agent.

An agent who was in despair owing
TO his failure 10 get any advertising
that had not been paid for found him
SELF in big western city with his at
traction playing 10 strong competition
aud something desperately needed TO
attract public attention TO his show
In one scene Of the play pair OF hand
suffs figured. The agent had an in
spiration. He had the star snap a
handcutf on her wrist, aud then the
agent concealed the key. saying ii had
been lost. The star was compelled to
finish the act wearing the handcuff
dangling from her wrist. The audi.
enee knew 1t should not be there. aud
comment was aroused. Between the
next two acts the agent drove the ac-
tress swiftly 10 police headquarters,
near at hand. The police captain was
nay seriously called out He was in
formed that the actress must have the
handcuff removed at once and secretly,
as She did not wish news of her pre-
dicament 10 get out The chief brought
out big bunch of keys, and finally The
handcur was removed, but not until
dozen alert reporters had snuffed Il
story and were plying the reluctant
press agent with questions. Finally
The whole story was pumped out of the
agent, the star having returned TO I'm
ish the play. Next morning the first
page OF every local paper had fine
story. descriptive of the plight Of the
actress who had accidentally fastened
handcun TO her wrist. The public
was Interested and locked to SEE the
play. and the resourceful agent went
on to the next town wondering what
new thing he could spring on the sen
sation lovers there. William LOTUS In
Reader Magazine
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30

At n ST. Andrews society dinner one
OF the speakers told OF Il Scotch gar
dener recently landed who had great
difficulty iir. acquiring knowledge OF
American geography. The son Of the
household. failing 10 teach the gardener
In any other way, brought ont II huge.
highly colored map. The Scot looked
ut ii critically.
"Ah. yes, lad that may be. but it's no
TO be TRUSTED. It's laid DOT In the plaid
o. the leein' MacFechtons." was his
continent
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
A PLAGIARISM.
The Sort of Thief That Charles
ReRde Pronounced Htmseif


The novelists who aspire toward alb
solute originality of plot might think
once in awhile of the sources from
which certain masters drew their in
SEPARATION and OF the calmuess with
which those great workers picked I'M
whatever would serve them AT their
trade. Charles Reade depended on the
newspapers as the living record OF life
us ii is. One day in the week he de
voted TO his scrapbooks. Passing events
seemed 10 him Of vital Importance and
the result of his collating appeared in
novels whose purpose" told
In Never Too Late to Mend he ex.
posed the cruelties practiced in the
prisons before the reform was success.
full; In Hard Cash lie attacked the
abuses of private lunatic asylulns; in
Put Yourself In His Place" he opened
on trade unions He was modern cru.
sader One day lie found In "A newspa-
per certain structures on this manner
of work. His rage was instant and yio-
lent
"Plngiarist! he roured, crushing the
paper. of course | am Il plagiarlst.
Shakespeare was II plagiarist. Mollere
was plagiarist We all plagiarize-
except those idiots who are TOO asinine
TO profit by the works of their supe-
riors. Surely every blockhead out OF a
lunatic asylum Except those idiots,
must know that since Homers time all
authors have parodied his incidents
and paraphrased his sentiments. Mo
liere took his own where he found It.
The thief of all thieves WAS the War.
wickshlre thief who stole right and
left from everybody. But then. he
found things lead and left them gold
That's the sort of thief | am Youths
Companion.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30

Many young men fail in life because
they don't know chance when they
have it and only know what Is lost
when 1t is too late. These youngsters
who want 10 be masters over the men
who are educating them and to whom
they owe the inspiration OF their lives
all wind up by being slaves. one les
son for all leaders learn TO obey TIL
you are able to command. This Is old
and good Sehoolmaster.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
The Celtic Affirmative.

In the speech OF 50 highly developed
a people as the Celts there is no equiya-
lent to yes" Thus it happens that
you shall never hear an Irish walter
pronounce the shlbboleth "yessir'' of
his English confrere. for he invariably
expresses an affirmative by some such
phrase as Il shall, sir" 1t Is, sir. =
Blackwood's Magazine.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
pheasant"

Nohead (as he prepares to rake MS
leave)-I can assure you, Miss Nicer,
the time has passed very pleasantly
this evening.
Miss Nicer (absently)-Yes; 1t Is
pleasure to know ii has passed
Scraps
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
wretch.

George. did you ever love any other
woman as well a. you love me-
"Oh. yes. my dear: several OF them"
Indeed, Why didn't yon marry one
Of them instead OF mel.
We'll. suppose I'll be asking myself
that question. too some day" Chicago
Tribnne
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30

Teacher is interested In you. pa"
"How SOP
why, today, after she told me seven
times to sit down and behave myself,
she said she wondered what sort OF
father | had Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30

Sportsman Amy good hunting in this
part OF the country;
Natiye-Lots or 1t.
Sportsman-What kind OF game
Natiye-No. game al all Just hunt
ing-fllustrated Bits.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30

friend whom you have been gain
ing during your whole HE you ought
not to be dispeased with in a moment.
A stone IL many years becoming
ruby. Take care that you do not de
Stroy 1t In an instant against another
stone.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30

"Sbe seems 10 be a natural firt." he
said
NATURAL tue woman impatiently
replied There's. nothing natural
about her but the framework Chi
cago Record Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30

Everybody knows the phrase All
the world loves a lover" but very
few people know that Emerson said II
and that he said 1t In slightly diner-
ent way-"All mankind love lover.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30
Happily Married .

when may woman be said TO be
happily married."
Not until she has had the pleasure
ef refusing several men. Detroit Free
Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-30

In every family there Is "a genius who
can't prove his genius Their kind
doesn't couDt-Atchison Globe
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1903-08-06
BriSbf'S Disease.


The largest sum everpaid for pre-
criplion. changed hands in San Fran
cisco, Aug. 30, lp0l The transfer in
volved in coin aud stock SIZE .5O0. 90 and
Was paid by party Of business men 70
a specific for 1. ighrs Disease aud Dia-
beies, hitherto 'urable diseases.
They commence tho serious inyes,i-
CATION I the spccinc Nov. IS, 1900
They interviewed scores OF the cured
and tried It out on ITS merits by putting
over three dozen eases ON the treatment
ana watching thvm. they also got pl,y-
sicians to name chronic, incurable cases.
ami administered It with the physicians
Tor iadges. Up to Aug. %, eighty.seyen
per cent oil he test cases we've eitbe
well or progressing favorably.
There being but thirteen per cent of
failures, the pa,ties were satisfied and
closed the transaction. The proceedings
Of the hyesiiga ing committee and their
clinical reports Of the test eases were
published and will be mailed free ON
application. Address john J. FuLrox
CoMrASY, 400 Montgomery 81. San
francisco, Cal.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1903-08-06
From Prairie Schooner to OVER
land Limited.

Under this title the July Review Of
Reviews contains well illustrated art
i,le that deals with ths history and de-
We cpment Ct the Chicago & NORTH
Western Ry., one OF the largest and best
managed railway properties in the
country. The article isespecially timely
by reason of the recent opeuing OF the
North Westerns new double track
across the plains from Chica o to the
Missouri River at Council Bluffs.
II should be read by all who are inter
ested in the recent rapid growth of tn
Northwest. Copies Of the article bound
in Re,iew u Reviews covers, can be Sc
cured on application to @ A. WALKER
he North Westerns representative ia
Salt Lake City.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1903-08-06

Mrs. Mollie Allen, OF South Fork, KY,
says she has prevented attacks OF
cholera morbui by taking Chomter.
lain's Stomach and Liver Tablets when
she felt an attack coming on. Such
attacks are usually caused by indIgcs-
ton and these Tablets are Just what is
needed to cleanse the stomach and ward
off the approaching attack. Attacks Of
bilious collie may be prevented in the
same way. For sale by II. b. Meii-
hew.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1903-08-06

Secretary Wilson has discovered tn Mt
peanuts are remedy for insomnia.
They are. | have tried them. | read
10 some paper that TO eat a pint OF pea
nuts and drink glass Of milk before
retiring, would send n person off to
sleep In Iifiy. They did. l went
right TO sleep. met woman with
her feet under her arm who asked me
what time ii was by the city hall clock
and whether | would buy her cab
bage. | got oil the blue horse with
elk horns | was riding, and us stepped
on the molten pavement In front OF a
nineteen story building, made Of
clothes pins, bear with sore leg fell
on me from the top floor aud drove me
down into the earth thousand miles
where | met "A man with green
beard and yellow eyes who wanted Il
know II knew how TO kindle n fir,
with icicles. just then the balloon
was in lurched and ] fell out and a.
was about TO strike on the point OF Q
church spire was seized by the talons
Of bird about the size Of buffalo
that had no feathers In lis wings. This
bird carried me TO It's nest and let m,
look while It battled with hug,
snake. Tho fight was a pretty one,
too. The snake saw he was getting
the worst Of II and, taking his tail In
his mouth, swallowed himself.
looked for the bird, but he had van
ished and then twelve men with nc
heads, each carrying his face in his
left hand, packed me into three barrel,
and rolled me down hill fifteen mile,
long over all kinds Of rocks and bould
era and then ! woke up 10 find had
been asleep for at least ten minutes
maybe twelve. Next time | want t
sleep shall eat mince pie,-Tsuth.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1903-08-06

Charged with the murder oil
one Paul M. Crooke in 1885. M
L Halenbeck has served II years
in the Iowa state prison. Now
Crooke turns up alive. Tina, hi
should not have heard of Helen,
beck's trial seems almost incredi
bic. No reparation can possibly
atone for the seventeen years o
infamy SO unJustly iunic'@ upoI
an innocent man.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1903-08-06

Friends OF Prince Ferdinand
say he didn't run away from
Bulgaria. He only went home
to see his mother. Usually when
small boys get nervous they
suddenly remember that they
swami to see mama awful bad
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1903-08-06
aUttering false notes. was the

Offering false notes" was the
charge on which number of
Italians were arrested as counter
feiters, in New York, last week.
Yet if uttering false notes is a
lawful cause for arrest most OF
the church choirs in this country
had better take to the tall tim
ber
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1903-08-06
The Death Penalty.

A little thing sometimes results in
death. Thus mere scratch, insignia
cant cuts or pany boils have paid the
death penalty 1t is wise to have
Bucklen's Arnica salve ever handy.
It's the best salve on earth and will
prevent fatality, when burns, sores,
ulcers and piles threaten. Only Csc, at
all druggists.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1903-08-06

There must be great profits in
the Zion Princess when Chief
Prophet Dowie can build tenn
pie costing 100000 from the
mere sweat Of bis resounding
jaw.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1903-08-06

BY it's crusade of cold blooded
ejaculation against expensive fun
erals the N. Y. Journal reminds
one of the Evansville orator who
bemoaned the recklessness 0!
Indiana administration squander-
ing SIS. 900 year for plain blue
spelling books when thousands OF
honest men in the state were
actually suffering for whiskey.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1903-08-06

another Jones' calls the pro-
cession Of sturdy and veteran
spinsters who form her con-
tingent textile workers" Pre-
sumable that implies that they
"carry the banner" and "work''
the public.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1903-08-06

BLEEDING Kansas is well
stocked with tribulations. Late
ly she was short Of harvest hands
and now she is suffering for SER
want girls 10 cook the garnered
crops.