The Minneapolis journal., 1903-12-25

4
Medical Fraternity, With the Required
obilvlon--Aunty Dismal Dole VIII, How
ever, Continue to BE Cured Of Tic
DoIoreux Of the Lower Limb and Uncle
| Sawyer johnson Will Still Tell Of His
Relief from caryatldes Of Eighteen Years
Standing by the Use Of Punkroot.
Down at Red Wing the doctors and the
newspapers have at last come to an un-
derstanding. It has been the habit Of all
Goodhue county newspapers to mention
that DR.. Squills was treating such and
such a case or that Dr. Sawbones per-
formed given operation. 1t was in
| tended as a favor to the doctors, and some
OF them seemed to like it. One scoundrel
however, not only submitted willingly, but
! mad IN some cases even paid for value
thus received. Him, the Medical associa-
tion denounced and refused fellowship
! at the first opportunity for the Press as
soclat1on to correct it's error, the following
| resolution, calculated to give, the fullest
reparation possible, was unanimously
adopted and spread upon the records
whereas The members OF this association
nave unw1tt1ngly offended the sense Of propriety
OF the Goodhue County Medical association by
| thrusting publicity upon them, contrary to the
ethics fthe medical profession;
Resolved, That it is the sense of this meet
1cal association in spirit of comfy that should
prevail between organizations having similar
purposes, the members of this association should
avoid mentioning the name of any member of
the Goodhue County Medical association in; con-
nection with any case where it can be avoided;
Provided That no member is obligated by this
resolution to refrain from such mention where
| 1t is requested by the physician concerned.
This of course will keep the names of
reputable. physicians in the dark while the
cheap fak1r and medical highway robber
will continue to appear In large type in the
advertising column as having cured Aunty
Dismal Dole of tic doloreux in the lower
left limb and as having relieved Uncle
Sawyer Johnson of a severe attack of cary
at1des of eighteen years standing by the
| use of Punkroot.
| If the Colombians step on an explosive
match there are a lot of us living some
distance inland who are not likely to get
frightened to death.
| The Historical and Genealogical society
says that many expensive American fam
lily trees are impostures. We have noticed
that a man with an elaborate family tree
usually smokes a cigarette.
The idiot asylums are just yaWning for
| the man who puts up an alcoholic Christ
| mas celebration. regrets it afterwards and
then does it again on Jan. l.
Which would you prefer to .take on,
Christmas or a Big Mitt man?
A good elephant can now be secured for
$4,000. He would find life rather difficult
| in our fat
Terrible excitement is on in New York
over "Parsifal." So far we have managed
| to keep composed.
| Call in tomorrow and get a little good
advice about that "head'' due to eating
too much cheap plaster candy
husband near North Dakota's western
border has posted this notice on a tree:
MY wife Sarah has left mi rancho when I
didn't Do thing Too her an l want it
| Distinctly understood that eny man as
| takes hur in on Keers fur hur on mi ac-
count Will git hisself pumped so full ov
| Led thot some tenderfoot will locate him
for mineral 'clanle. A word to the Wise is
| sufshent an orter work on fooIs.-p
Smith,
The Hamilton IN. d. Independent tells
of paper in that vicinity that calls down
"a bow-legged, squint-eyed consumptive
| liar, with a breath like buzzard, voice
| ike snare drum and a record like a
convict" and which tells him plainly that
| If he does not do better, 1.-The people Of
Huckleberry Hedge will rise up and churn
him till there isn't anything left of him
but pair of suspenders and a wart.'
These be harsh words.
The Adrian Democrat is quite pleased
| With the ladies', but thinks that men may
still be improved on a trif1e. He says:
| The twentieth century man is a handsome man,
and in the drift of the centuries to come he will
become still handsomer In this respect there
Will be no Improvement in woman for woman
| can't be improved uDon
This is a much better sentiment than
that expressed by the young but enthusi-
ast1c pastor who after panegyric upon
the women of the church made this elo-
| quent but unfortunate peroration:
Such is the church. Such the women of
the church. With one foot placed on the rock
| of ages, the other pointing to the skies.
| We are all prone to err in the moments
| of enthusiasm. "A T. R.