The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-11-13
HARD LUCK STORIES,
Pension Office the Recipient Of tas
Greater Nnrahar-

Greater Number.
Washington Star: The average tale that
is told in the official papers that drift into
the government archives by the thou.
sands daily is what has come to he known
as a human interest story" There are
dreary wastes OF p.artrlde and heavia,sr,
"eariSone monotOnE, and hard luck
stories galore. But amidst all these and
relieving the ediu Of the rest are bright
bits OF UNCONSCIOUS hunl0r, sharp sallias Of
wit and expressions stri&iaGiy original and
FUNNY. Strange as Il may seem the great
bulk Of the queer papers araor- the
official documents reaches the gcas:5l
bureau, that great natural mecca q the
! Stories OF pathCs and suffering. The vet
Grams have q way OF writing cptgrIrumaric
letters on occasion. and CT drifting Into
the late President LincoIurs habit d il
Illustrating. points by anecdotes cu,,cd from
( personal experiences. The following from
q man, who is something OF 4 lItalist in
his way, will show a peculiar vein Of
thought and expression:
Il Alwase Been a PugIecan Party.
'i Alwase saciated with it.
q Beer, turned Down by it.
j Reed my B!bel.
q find from II hel is doomed.
Il am also doomed.
Il spoas i must go to the BoanarG.
Il must cloas.'
Down in old Missouri lives q vetcras.
who evidently regards the receipt Of an
official letter from Washington as = mark
OF distinction and Importance. PreSum-
ably he wanted TO Show the answer 10
his neighbors as an earnest Of his close
; relation to the powers that be in Wash
ington. and this is what he wrote TO the
commissioner Of Pensions, ad L.crat.m
and in toto:
Dear Ser-l haven't got rothin cspcshel
to write about but just thote I would con-
CrE TT.lO p WON ~, N[- - ,.rr
work in gen-al and your standing IS /
high and enerbel gent in. p2rtic.@H. l
would like to have the oncr OF your repli
in ten days written on q typewriter, e,o.'
1t is not to be supposed. OF course, that
q Pensioner CT his witnesses are masters
OF medical phraseology. Sometimes. how
ever, the veteran wanders from the path
Of ~generaliries followed by most lay
minds, and gets the ve~rnacu!ar OF tn med
Zeal fraternity mixed to z rather TIG!cE-
lous degree. Thus the following was dis
covered in the papers fled by 2 claimant
who was seeking q pension under the Erl-
eral law: Paralysis Of right side mas
generally extended TO adjacent parts OF
the brain matter, causing paralysis Of
application and intention" What he real
II meant and what he was pe2=ione1 Ior
was paralysis Of right forearm resulting
from q shell wound.
Many a man has been taught the value
VI GlleiI4OL S-4G OStdl-S, Dull Il - 49,
everybody who needs the receipt. Yet mol
long ago a man who gives evidence OF
close observation, ana who does not be-
liere in giittering gerera4ilies. had this TO
say IL an affidavit filed II i pension claim,
TO show the widowed claimants inanc!a!
standing:
- says. upon oath, that claimant has
onES two horses and two COWS and very
young colt, 4 two horse wagon worth
about SIS. Had some other property when
soldier died. namely, TWO mules, one team
OF horses. one heller. and one steer. one
mule died, one heller was killed by light
ming. The remaining HALE was sold 10 de-
fray funeral expenses and other debts
one horse WAS taken sick and which vas
not worthy OF attention, since that time
and the horse was given away. The steer
was sold 70 pay doctors bills and other