Fergus County argus. [volume] (Lewistown, Mont.) 1886-1946, 1903-06-10

III LIZ tubs w ht puilCu Tie SllNtT
lever. q panel in the mahogany wall
slid back. and, sure enough, in came
the tub.
And what was more" said the mod.
est man, blushing at the remem.
brance, sin came my friends wife,
who happened to be in the tub"
Once upon a time a Missourian came
to Lewistown (even as you and |
camel and made his headquarters at
the Lewistown hotel. During the din.
ner meal one day the question as to
the distance a frog can jump cane
up for discussion. The Missourian
ventured the opinion that 20 feet was
a very good jump for an ordinary
frog. The silence which greeted this
remark was almost sepulchral. Fl
nally one of the boys got his breath
and remarked. Twenty feet? Why
man a tadpole can Jump twenty feet.
I think that a frog that can't negotiate
35 feet is a frost In the frog line.'
Another enterprising diner raised him
5 feet and made 1t 40. More exper-
fenced observers of the jumping pro.
clivities Of the frog family sent one
of them over q distance Of so feet.
This was too much for the you'l-have-
to-show-me man, and he expressed
doubts of the possibility Of such a
thing. Then one of the boys said:
We'll leave it to Mr.. Wright, pro-
prietor of the house." This was a sat
~isfactory arrangement to the gentle
mar from Missouri. They all went
into the office. Charley" said one
of the boys, how far can a frog
jump" The bland host studied for
a moment, as If gathering together
the scattered threads Of memory.
WELL" he answered, "the longest
jump | ever saw a frog jump was 65
feet" This was too much for the
Missourian. He bolted and at the
same time dropped a remark about
poor old Ananias."
The bright little daughter in a well
known Lewistown family. when told
that the motto of the graduating class
of the high school was Excelsior" re-
marked, 81 thought that was what
they pack dishes and furniture in"
One of the high school boys was
teaching one of the girls the fascinat'
ing game of tennis last week. When
the pleasure which the instruction
gave him caused him to lose track OF
the score. Let me see," he said,
that was-I ~believe-'love' WHAT"
why not me?" replied the ~unsophis'
ticated lass demurely.
1t is said that Hardee, the murderer
who escaped from the Glasgow Jail,
has a 5000 and will probably die be
fore he will be captured. If Mr.. Har'
dee has the consideration of Mr.. Har'
ry Tracy what pickins there will be
for the newspapers in this neck O. the
woods for a few weeks.
See Dennissy to Hooley, SEE he
"Phat Is a walkin' dilegit?" Rally
SEE Mr.. Hooley, Don't yez know phat
a walkin' dilegit is? Bother asst me
phat a walkin' dilegit amt. A walkin
dilegit Is a dilegit who niver walks
An a walkin' dilegit is a lot Nv other
other things, too. A walkin' dilegit
Dennissy, is a agitather, a phromul
gather, a dictather. or any other kin
Nv an auld sphud inny val wishes &c
call i'm. He Is the high and hooly
II in the councils Nv his fri'nds, the
chat highcockolorum in tn midst 1,
thin as made i'm phat he was. Al
night he sits up in a high chair-r and
sthentoriously yells 'orther' to his
~grovelin' subord'nates. Be day nc
walks round the sthrates sain II the
dhirty celistals be cleanin' the cloths
Nv them thit belong to the unyun
He also walks round be the marts "
labor to sa II the min who ar knock
in the knots of iv the sthones possess
the indispensable paphers which en-
title him to life, liberthy an tn purs
uits iv happiness-th' pasboard Nv tn
orther. An IL THERE be wan who Is
so t~houghtless as not to have the
nicis'ary dockymints concealed around
his persin, the walkin' dilegit stheps
upon a sthone, so as to make him
silf higher in the istimashun iv his
fri'nds an inimies and wild tn sta'rn
look iv a Ca'sar rafusin' a % On
his face. says to tn thremblin' cul
phrit lying posthrate On tn grouu
bafore him, SEE he, away wild yez
Yer tn thafe iv tn jobs Nv homes,
min. If yez have childrhens they
should have known better than to be
BORN the sons an daughters " ar
indecent father-r like yez. Yer work
in contrary to tn consthushion /,
thase gl-lori-us united sthates an III
imancipashion ploclamashion issued
be tn war; govinor Nv tn magnlf
ficent sthate Nv Illynoise. Aither dc
PLAT | tell yez or give me twho dol
lars an forthy cints fr tn inherint
| privilege Nv balm a fire man. Thir
he stheps DOWN OF iv tn sthone an
gets on tn sidewalks made Nv bar-rds
sawed in a saw mill where only un
yon min be employed, out Nv tn thrae'
| chopped DOWN be good an faithful
Numbers Nv tn woodchoppers unyon
into a buildin' plan'd by a mimber ~
tn architects unyon an put up by
unswar-rvin Numbers Nv tn carpenth
| ers upyon, out Nv bricks dhried In !
unyon brick kiln by unyon brick
makers, up to a barr made by min iv
er thru to tn bar-rmakers unyon, an
vigorously calls fr a drink In .
| glass made by a genuine affilthiatol
Nv the glass blowers unyon. iv whiskel
whisked by a thru an thried mimbeI
iy whi-skey makers in that good ault
unyon country Nv Breathitt county
Kentucky" is II an honorable EN-
phloy.mint?" asked Mr.. Dennissy. IL
\ was offpr.red tn sphlindid iOb nos