The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-11-19
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
write your name on the scroll of
fame?'
I'm not worrying about that" an
swered Senator Sorghum. THE scroll
of fame isn't the book that the bank
cashier turns to when you want
check certified. "-Washington Star.
Husband-How much will it cost to
give that dinner party?
Wife-Eow much have YOU got ?--De-
troit Free Press. As'jas7u TOYS
"And now. madam" said the pro-
fessor. having seen you safely aboard
your train, can only wish you a pleas
ant journey-but don't let anybody
step on IL
"On what, professor she asked.
Your train, madam" rejoined the
professor, CALAMITY lifting his hat as
the cars began to snove.SChicago Tri-
buns. aedJc
In Boston It's the trolley.
In London it's the tram.
In Arabia the camel,
The elephant in Siam.
Japan has men for donkeys.
! And dogs compose the "liri1ftedn7 p.
In dashes for the Pole.
But when the railIess flyer
Is scud express through space.
Oh. then a state a minute
| 2 VIII be the record race.
Boston Transcript.
He--"Could anything be smaller than
her foot?" Shelves; her shoe. st
Paul Pioneer Press.
II thought she was going to marry
found a Russian prince that he could
get for half the price. '-Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
B thinks that he has. a very
said the acidu1ous person, Ito perceive
any wit in some of the stories he tells -
Washington Star.
He-"Do you remember when we were
children, and I used To come over to
your house to play? Weren't those jolly
times?" She-.sWeren't they! And your
mama never let you stay more than an
hour. '-Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Now, DEAR said the hero of the
elopement as they boarded the train,
I'VE are safe from pursuit. "And also, y
said the radiant young girl, safe from
4 starvation. Here's a check papa made
/
l. An Incidental Revenge-.'Did your son
really elope?'' Yes, and. it's such a
blow. But there's one thing about ii
What is that?" HE eloped with that
odious Mrs. SINNERS hired girl'-
Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
Count that day lost up to whose setting
You haven't had at least an hour of fun
IT'S said love makes the world go round
But. just as likely. tits fun that doe.
Life is short; mix it with JOY and
There'll be no fun in either world here
after.
Detroit Free Press
1T certainly isn't" unused the mar
who occasionally let's out an audible
thought. What it's that isn't?' querieC
the chronic butter-in. 1T isn't fair
explained the noisy thinker, ito judgl
the character of newborn babe b,
the quality of the cigars its proud faith
er hands out. ''-Chicago Daily News.
forcement of the law is the lawyer
Puck.
Kind lady (pityingly)-How long, m.
good man, have you been a tramp?
| Tramp-MadaE, ever since L Dough
United States Steel.-Life.
Mr.. Jones-I think I'm going to have ap
, pendicitis.
Mrs Jones-Oh, you do? Well, thin
I'm going to have a new hat. and you
: appendicitis can wait
u Heidi you enjoy yourself at the hors
: show?
She-Not a bit There was such a crow
that 1 couldn't see how a single dress wa
made.-Cincinnati Times-Star.
, DO you drink?'' inquired the young VIC
mans neither. The young man hesitate6
DO you drinkYs the lady repeated.
IF you insist" replied the modest .youn
Tnan.-ClevelaAd Plain Dealer.
= Don't you sometimes feel as if you Ia
BETRAYED your trust %
Certainly not" answered Senator Sol
!, ghuna There's no one who can say
didn't stand by any trust that did bus
s ness with e.',-Washington Star.
q know his f1ancee is plain. because h
SAYS she's sensible
, but you can't be sure of it"
! ION. yes. No girl is pretty who is spoke
: But how can she be sensible2 Isn't 81