The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1903-01-18

amt bad blokes to pal with, but t 'ud
hurt to have TO drop down into their
push | don't know how to beg as much
as niece O. bread. After I've sung a
song or done a bit of double shuttle
don't mind passin' my hat around in the
nub but I get ashamed when l ask for
somethin' outright If l should go to
hack door tomorrow mornin' an ask for
A roke-out I'd blush an stutter like
bashfu kid.
81 tried polishin' shoes for while
but the shines guyed me so t quit. l
wasn't no good at it anyhow. All l can
do is to float around sing a song when
noon1o1I listen to me, an hold down
this old barrel This places been my
bang-out for nearly a year now.
sometimes think I'd like to go back
home. but course II never get there.
When I'm sober l try to makeiou t IN
English but l guess the blokes is next.
The other day 1 got pretty Jagged, an
forgot all about bein' English. Some
laws over in pub t go to was runn1n'
down the States, an l called EN- down;
I told em t we could stick their bloody
little island in one corner of our country
and t I'D take Stanley twenty years to
find it. Course they basted mel al
ways get it in the neck when I'm jagged
but 1 didn't mind. After you're dead
n big quiet like comes on you an you
don't care what happens.
at 'ud be nice to see some O. the boys
again. an I'd rather like to croak on the
other side. but l don't think about such
things much. They got to bury me
wherever l croak. Some O. the girls up
in Lime street took up collection for a
pal t l had that croaked, an buried him
in style, but l told 'em they'd better a
given a big feed to his friends l used
to be q great bloke for style, but style
don't cut no ice with me any more.
Course t amt nice to wind up IN a
barrel the way I have, but you can
keep on top forever, an I'm glad enough
sometimes t I don't have to worry bout
my reputation any moro. You get just
as tired out tryin' to hold your posish
in the crook world as you do with the
milIionaires ! don't have them worries
an it's a bigger relief n you'd think
| There amt no place for me to drop to-
| I've reached de limit
| IF the blokes over here knew me an
| pointed me out to strangers, course Ia
! feel my tumble worse'n l do, but nobody
! bothers me- You're the first blokes I've
| talked to this way since / struck Liver
| pool l don't mind f you tell the blokes
| at home about me. It I'D "a hurt lit
| tie couple of years ago cause / nae
some hope then. but ii don't matter now
nothing matters. See?
''No one can do anythin for me. A city
missionary got me round to his shop {
| few months ago an tried to brace mo up
but | was square. You're all right
boss I said to him. but you can't hell
me cause I'm dead one He didn
understand what dead one meant, an
tried to explain, but he couldn't catch on
an KEEP talkin away bout religion.
give it to him straight. Religion, boss,
told him, is for them that cares.
don't care. I'm dreened out. You cal
| lock me up or do what you please
| 'twon't change me a bit. My clocks rul
| down Course there's them that laughs
bout a bloke losin' his grip an don
believe in it, but they're foolish. Thu
time was when l wasn't leary of holdin
up an express train singlc-handed; it''
all I can do now to scrape up nerve
enough to kill the fleas in this barrel
Some people calls the disease the shiv
crs, an others calls it the blind eye.
calls it the staggers. You stagger il
| trent of everythin' that it needs grit t
DO. Some day I'll stagger into hole
an the barkeeps won't have any NOR
| Barnie to haste, an the girls won
have to chip in an help pay for my song
But I've had my fling in my day, man
an don't you forgit it." and for an in
slant his eyes snapped and he held hi
| head high.