The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-08-16
ANECONOMICAL PIRATE
by CHARLES GREIG

have dozen warships after him inside
OF month. When We captured the
Oeenica she was supposed to have struck
an iceberg.you'll remember-the navy
man and that far-headed mate OF mine
wanted to take their pick of the VIM
men, but that was clean against TIA
contract. and wouldn't allow II.
The skipper cheered Up considerable
when I told him we hoped to get through
the job without cutting throat. and he
handed over the keys OF the safe like
IaTcb. Those Two shots from ~ had
done our business, and 10 look at the
Falcon you'd never have doubted she
carried a strong crew of out and-out
murderers. See there. captain says /.
pointing to my vessel. you might man
! age TO Mobile me and search my party.
but If we don't get safe back 20 the
Falcon in half an hour my mate has
orders to blow this hooker out of the
water
| T" Very WELL says be; I'm helpless
and you're free 10 gut my ship. Since
you mean to avoid bloodshed I'll give
you every facility
Right says /; this is matter Of
! business. and the sooner we get through
with 1t the better Tell the crew and
passengers to fork out every sixpence
they've got on them and the wimmen to
dub up their jewelry. Let your mate go
round with a breadbag and make the
collection. He's got rather the cut of =
church warden
You might do without the jewelry.'
said the captain.
Well the married wimmen may keep
their weddin' rings, says I. It's quite
| irregular. but I'm widower myself
With that followed the captain down
10 the strong room, taking four hands
with me 10 carry up the gold. My idea
was TO hang on the diamonds myself till
| could get EN- under lock and key in
my own cabin. So you see, James. I
couldn't avoid going below 10 the strong
room. and il that lurid ass OF mate
had obeyed orders / might have been
in South America by now, living Ike a
lord MAJOR"
! At this point in his narrative my
Uncle Jonah fell into a gloomy reverie.
/ !
/ he resumed it.
There was 100000 guilds worth Of
gold in that strong room or I'm liar"
he continued. land enough diamonds 10
have filled bread bag. Il took some
time to get the gold on deck and lower
/ il into the boat, but never tackled any
| job that seemed 70 tire me so little.
When l got on deck the third time
saw IN a shake that something was
wrong. The crew and passengers Of the
mail was all craning their necks over
the side and staring at the Falcon
Il took a peep at her myself and d-d
if the mate hadn't closed in that near
that you could have heayed biscuit
aboard her The fool must have been
drunk. l suppose. or he'd have had the
sense to know that he was risking all
our neeks and his own. too The Fall
con was so near US I could easily see
myself that the pirates on deck were
] dummies. They were working well
enough to take in a stranger. but some
Of the passengers we're looking through
their binoculars. and that fairly turned
me faint with funk.
I'VE might have pulled through after
all, but just as l was shouting 70 the
mate to get further of the splitting
dummy got out of gear AS I told you
lust now, the In ards of the dummies
was full OF long steel springs and they
had TO be oiled twice week oiled
they were, too. so it was no fault Of
mine that about three fathoms OF spring
came Jerking out of the splitting dunn
my's ugly mug in full sight OF every
body. Now, il stands TO reason that
no human man can spit up twenty feet
of steel springs and the people on the
mail knew that as we'll as ! did The
loose end of the spring whipped arouna
the neck Of the next dummy and the
bloomin' image kept on workin as IL
n rather liked that sort OF collar The
messengers began TO laugh. then the
crew laughed and when they d done
laughing they just tumbled aft IN
bean and made prisoners Of US before
ws couId shoot dozen OF them That s
| what comes of trusting your life on
goods made in Germany concluded
Uncle Jonah. If you want TO DO me
a kindness. James. find out who made
mat shifting dummy and drop him
| down in sewer