Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-10-31
MOVED BY DEGREES

''Did you.Hver rye in one of those disap-
pearing, NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. boarding
houses?' inquired the man who did not look
well nourished. I'VE did-my wife and l.
for few months early this year. 1t was a
great plan while 1t lasted; but never saw
boarding house, in Washington or any
where else, evaporate like that one did
Vanished in sections, pecemeaL. Reminded
me good deal Of a-stage change Of scenery
right In the presence of the audience, only
OF course, it was bit more gradual than
that.
1.-THE relay-plan part of 1t consisted in
the landlady's scheme Of collecting the
board money. She took 1t in dimes. quar-
tiers, halves. dollars, and so on. My wife
had to devise a system of bookkeeping to
keep track of it: l never knew how 1
stood on the board question on pay days
until after my wife had cast up her books
and showed me. For instance peddler
would ring the basement bell with an arm
full of feather busters. The landlady would
need a feather buster, but she never had the
price, 1t seemed So she'd trip upstairs and
SWING one of the bOarderS for a quarter, on
account. with which to buy the buster. Or
the milkman would drop around with his
bill for S1.34 The landlady would tap on
the door of one of the boarders and ask
him to help her out with the $1.A-she had
II cents herself and only needed sl.22 to
make up the miikman'S amount-'on ac-
up to our room and say to us. breathlessly:
" I think I'll have to pay the landlord 81
on account this morning-hes been looking
grump1ly at me for some mornings now, as
l passed his place on my way to market
and would you mind letting me have the
81 and charge it to the account?
of course we wouldn't mind. when we
had the g. and then the landlady would go
and stake the owner of the house to a
two-spot or rent account and sing happily
over the achievement for several days at
terward. 1t was beautiful arrangement
she had with the owner Of the house, what
ever 1t was. but somehow we boarders
never felt quite certain that we wouldn't
De turned into the street some night when
the owner of the property got to feeling
particularly grumpy.
On some pay days, when I'd be due to
get my board account Strengthened out. my
wife would have to toe up about eighty
seven little loan items, small digs made
during the two weeks by the landlady. the
amounts ranging from cents to buy
copy OF The Star-pape to see If her adj for
boarders was in or nickel for bunch of
parsley to enough dollars to square the gas
bill-and she never squared the gas bill I'M
| TIL the determined-looking man with the
wrench from the gas office turned up at the
place to shut off the supply of gas.
But the disappearing part of that lay
out was what faded US the most Real puz-
| cling thing, that, until we at length-at
about the last minute-found out what it
all meant.
I'VE took lodgings at the house on Feb
ruary 1. The parlor and dining room had
sort of slapped-together only-rigged-up-
| for-a-lfttle-while look, but our room was
| comfortable and the eating was good
| enough, so we stayed along, even when
| the fitout began to be pulled from under
| us.
''The parlor began to be skeletonized
| first, along about the 18th of March. Piano
| went first We didn't feel. any of us board
| ers, like asking the landady SO direct a
question what the deDa rflIra of the mia
meant, although some of the rag-time
| Dangers missed it quite lot. Then the
| heavier parlor chairs executed a queer get
away. They were In the parlor when 1 left
| for the office in the morning. but they
| were gone when got home in the evening;
| and my wife, who doesn't let many occur
| rences of this sort get by her, hadn't seen
| them go. But gone they were. all right,
| and inside of week the only furniture
| left In the parlor was one old-fashioned
! cretonne-covered.c chair, one rickety lounge
| that had apparently been dragged up from
| the cellar to. sort O. fill out. and the four
| large oval pictures of four of the landlady $
| previous husbands.
1.-THE dining room began to thin out soon
| after the parlor was Quilted.
But when our furniture began to dis
appear all of us began to become more or
| less sore One day, while l was at the
| Office and my wife was out, our brass bed
was replaced by an. ancient three-quartef-
size walnut bed. My wife spoke about that
| to the landlady, of course, but the land
| lady-who, you seeplwas one of those dear
| little souls that you couldn't get openly
and so we stood for the dnky walnut bee
although the footboard was about seven
| inches shy of being far enough away from
my head to make sleeping in the contrap-
| ton exactly comfortable.
ION the ODD of April the landlady had
! the rug taken up in our room during my
wife's ABSENCE was at the once, OF
course-and soiled ingram rug, that my
In tha ut MT
place.
boarders in fact got together and made
| a stand The rooms of the other boarders
were being Quilted in the same way as ours
| But we only got together and made the
kisk on that ray when all Of the good
rugs were taken out of the rooms and
mean-looking, WORKOUT ingram rugs from
| the garnet put down in their place.
Mrs O'Fewry,' / said to the landlady.
as the elected spokesman of the outfit of
| kicking boarders. I am compelled to in
auire what's coming off here anyhow. I
speak for the whole bunch We all feel like
we're camping out already. How long is
| this thing going to continue? How do we
know that we won't come home some day
| and find nothing at all left in our rooms?
Please put us next.
1.-THE landlady looked quite veXed, so she
did, to find that We had noticed anything
| as she put 1t.
Perhaps. though she said I should
have told you that L am going to give up
| this house on the LIST of May
Il agreed with her. considering the fact
| that perhaps the boarders were entitled to
| something more than twenty minutes no
| tice to look for other quarters.
Wees the landlady went on, I think
that perhaps l really should have said
something about It, You know I run a
| boarding house at Atlantic City during the
season. always opeen 1t up on the LIST of
May. And I've been shipping my furni-
ture down there, you know-a little bit at a
time, not to make 1t noticeable Deed,
1 didn't think anybody had noticed 1t, you
know! You must all come down to my
place in Atlantic City during your leaves
That's the way the mystery was cleared
up. l don't suppose she'd have told us
confident in her belief that we wouldn't
notice anything until the night before the
LIST of May. No more disappearing board
ing houses In mine. though. Too exciting"
Small Chameleons.
From the Westminster Gazette
Four dwarf chamoleons'' have lust been
to