The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-11-25
Where Ignorance Was Bliss

slope between yelOW1nS nedSeS anu
rows of trees, whose falling leaves cir
oled and huttered like wounded birds: it
stretched through the struggling,
dreamy village and made q. wandering
streak up the hill opposite.
And down the slope, and through the
village, and up the slope tramped the
tourist from London, discord IN
tweeds spelling the harmony OF the
sober autumn landscape all the way ne
went.
His doctor had recommended complete
change, and he was supposed to be
walking away from all the excltements
of city life; but matter OF tact ne
was carrying them with him he M4s
one of those aggressively up-to-oate
men who know everything anu teA
other people,
When he paused wondering where he
was, curve of the road hid the village,
and no sign of human existence was
anywhere visible.
Moving on up the hill, he was seized
with fantastic illusion that ne nau dc
tually left the world right out OF touch
behind him; it was some trick OF the
loneliness and silence and strangeness
of his surroundings, and its erect was
so weirdly disquieting that ne was re-
leved a little further on, to eaten a
glimpse of a man at work on the other
side of a gate.
He was at work in the nearest of
series of market gardens-a gnarled,
gray bearded patriarch, pottering
about with a spade and a wheelbar-
row.
The tourist leaned over the gate.
impatient for his labors to bring him
within speaking distance, and then
called to tell him it was fine weather
for the time OF year. The patriarch
nodded curtly, as if he knew that.
But the tourist was yearning for So
Getty and was not easily rebuffed. He
discoursed at large on the Macedonian
atrocities, the disappearance of Miss
Hickman airshiDs motor cars, the
41rH "a h
met, but beyond an occasional nod the
patriarch remained unresponsive.
What's your own opinion?' the
tourist demanded. in the hope of rous-
ing him. How'll preferential tariffs
suit you, eh?''
The patriarch Strengthened his back
and scratched his head. Il never wear
EN-" he SAID, obviously.
The tourist gasped. Food tax. I
mean-tax on corn, and
'Oh, ay!" the patriarch broke in plac-
idly: What. amt they done chatterin'
o that yet? Bless m life. they was
rampagin' over that when I wor a lad!
l recklet. though. my father said as
desperately, this is nothing to do with
Golden. Haven't you heard of Joe
Chamberlains SURPRISE"
All, an he wor never entitled to itl''
cried the patriarch instantly and fierce
ly alert. But you're a stranger, amt
ye? Who's been tellin' you about it?''
are full of it,"
oh, he's got it in the papers, has he?
We'll, let him mex the most on it. It's
the fust prize he ever won, an you
mark me, it'll be the last"
THE first prize?"
"Ah! He's never had one afore. an if
the committee had any sense
to
THE committee as grants the awards,
o course. I've won prizes in that show
for my marrers, my tomatoers, my beans:
an I've TUX the onion prize three years
runnin; vet this year man like Joe
Chamberlain, who knows no more about
CROWN onions than
wait a bit. Let's understand each
other" pleaded the tourist. You are
talking of the late colonial secretary?
The patriarch ruminated, clawing at
his beard.
When did he dep he inquired
He's not dead yet. Everybody who
knows him knows that. There are evil
IDENTIFY two Joe Chamberlains-'
I never heard O. more than one" de-
clared the patriarch, bitterly, AN he's
one too many for most of u.s.
That's remarkably like the other one,
tool" exclaimed the tourist. You're
sure it's onions he grows, and not
orchids?"
He calls EN- onions" growled the
patriarch slightingly. Z wouldn't an
swer for 'em myself
I fancy we've got things tangled a
Bit remarked the tourist. Your Joe
Chamberlain is a native Of these parts ?
Exactly. Mines from Birmingham. He's
an M. P, and all the nations discuss
ing his fiscal proposals. You know
that?"
Not me! Ticks me all my time to
mind me own usiness."
But this is your business. For ex-
ample, how would you like a tax put
on imported meat?"
Il dessay- Why, they was jabberin
an jaYin' o. that when I Wor a lad an
accordin to you they're still at it, said
the patriarch sornfully. Let 'em talk
1t don't mex no difference"
Won't it? You don't know Joe
Chamberlain! I don't mean yours ]
mean the politician
The politician?" The patriarch was
cheered by sudden inspiration. q
thought you'd got the name wrong
You're thinkin' o. Mr.. Gladstone"
z,1 1ne tourist subdued a momentary dir
u say" he faltered, do you mind tell.
What about?'
Anything. Passive resistance, say
You're a Noncomform1st2 Well then are
Why" the patriarch ruminated. weigh.
ing his words out slowly Il do all sorts
Of odd jobs, but RELY, I'm a market gar
mo. no. Never mind your trade.
say. are you a passive resister?-a Vol
going in for passive resistance?'
The patriarch thought it over quietly
IF it's one O. them patent things
don't hold with it, he protested There
was a peddler chap wanted me to go il
for q box of it for my rheumatic I for
get the name-summat like you said
kind of ointment it was"
''Herei The tourist checked him ali
ruptly. Haven't you read anything 9
alp
How can To-
''Why can't you?'
Never learnt how-nor to write
neither"
s'Oh; but you can hear people talkr'
"Mebbe But I don't listen. 1 got m,
greens an things here to think of. The,
comes chatterin' to me. an I jest was
giles me head every time they stops an
they're satisfied, an sol l."
And you actually don't care what you
country's doing? You know nothing 0
politics, or-or anything?'