davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1903-03-04

9| R. CHARLES H. PARK.
II JNhs HURST, the justly cele-
H. .M bra e d reformer d
~ preacher, is once m o r e
kSS&S yearning for an ideal news
WI. paper, a calm, sedate, unex-
citable and unexciting
newspaper which will lisp the news of
the day in such gentle tones~that you
Will get sleepy every time you look at
1T, and yawn every time you hear its
name mentioned. To this end he is
now slipping around among the mill
honaires and billionaires of the east,
trying to make dents in their bank
accounts wherever possible, and pry-
ing them loose from their scads just
as extensively as their dispositions will
stand.
The doctor says that if he can scrape
enough money together as an endow-
ment fund he will start anewspaper that
Will not give you spasms or Mysteries
or membraneous Group or ringing in
the ears whenever you read it, and
which will spurn subsidy with
loud, triple-leaded spurn. DR.. Park
bursts idea is that there is nothing
that will yank man loose from all
that is good and drag him down and
cause him to take a soured and moth
eaten view of life quite as quickly as
to wade through six or seven columns
OF sad, sweet love story, and then,
down at the finish, just as he is get
ting ready to give a large, tenor whoop
of woe at the death of the hero, read
instead:
"Tom was lying upon what seemed to
be his death-bed. He had been given
up to die by every doctor IN the
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1903-03-04
THE COLLECTOR
OF THE PORT
[Original.]

fOriginal]
On the coast of South Carolina lived
during the first decade after the civil
war Colonel Jim Blithers. When peac.
came Colonel Jim became collector OF
customs at the little seaport town ir
which he lived.
I'VE shall see," said the old man;
whether these thieves shall continue
to beat the United States as they beat
the Confederacy. l propose, sub, to
see that the government gets its honest
dues, sub, or my names not Jim Blith.
ers."
AS no goods were ever received al
the coloneps custom house, it was not
difficult to make good his words, but
he drew his salary regularly and talk.
ed continually of the Imaginary eff.
forts that were constantly being made
to land goods at the port without tho
payment of duties.
About ten years after the close of the
war, and when Colonel Jim had been
running the custom house the greater
part Of that time. without catching a
single smuggler, up comes yellow jack
from the tropics and passes all Gus.
tom houses on the southern coast with.
out reference to the vigilance Of any
collector.
II tell yo', suh," said the colonel, ut
behooves me to be mo- watchful than
ever. Taking advantage Of the demo-
alization existing along the coast, snug
glers will swain about eve'y po'te."
One day schooner appeared in the
harbor and dipped anchor about two
miles from the custom house. From
her foremost she few yellow flag and
from her peak the stars and bars of the
late Confederacy. Colonel Jim looked
out of his Office window, and when he
saw the beloved ensign he forgot his
fears of the fever denoted by the bit
Of yellow bunting, and his heart bled
for the inmates of the ship. He took
up glass to inspect her, and as he did
SO a boat was lowered from her day.
its. Then some sailors got into the
boat. And what Is that long, narrow
box swinging in the air and slowly de-
SCcuu1uS 1ulO LAc UOdts n COuu! L liz
colonel swept the deck with his glass,
but all who were visible were standing
above the boat and every one uncov-
cred, while man stood with his face
bent over a book. 1t did not require
the acute brain Of the colonel to see
that funeral was taking place ON
board. r 49,
Then dingey was lowered. and, fol-
lowed by the hearseboat, it was pulled
toward the custom house. Some dis
lance from the shore the crew of the
latter rested on their oars while the
dfngey pulled on. Then a man came
ashore and made for the colonel's Of
flee. The colonel went out to meet
them. 1919. ~:
II have come, subj said the man, "to
ask permission to bury the body or
he. broke down and wept copiously-"o of
my beloved sister, who accompanied
my wife and myself on this voyage. l
command the vessel yo' see anchored
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1903-03-04
THE INCIDENT MADE A WONDERFUL
IMPRESSION ON HIM.

United States and Canada. Suddenly
some one thought of DR.. Squealer's
Cough, Collie, Cholera and Corn Cure. The
physicians were driven out of the
house with a club, and Tom began hit
ting the great relief. In 20 minutes
he had gained 43 pounds and was out
feeding the COW. BY fall he had
gained 213 pounds more, and had
busted six vests trying to squirm into
them. In the spring, while the birds
were singing, he and Maggie were mar
ried, and now they live in a neat little
cottage with morning glories and other
vegetables growing all over it. zyz24d-
abc9eod13eow and repeat till dead.''
A subsidized press, DR.. Parkhurst
feels, is bane to the nation, whether
it is subsidized in the interests of a.
corn salve or a congressman. The ideal
newspaper, he says, will be free from
all subsidized influences, and, while it
will aim to print all the; news, it. will
handle the events in such a placid and
unsensational way that you can read
about a man in Paterson. N. j., killing
IA men with a crow-bar and wonder
If the authorities will be rude enough
to arrest him for it. .. - =
Years ago Benjamin franklin the
original journalist and lightning-rod
man of this country, stood at the side
of an old hand-press and hurled a
fusillade of sky-blue remarks at q
long-waisted boy on the opposite side
of the press who was rapidly driving
large roller across the surface of
an milestone at the rate of two revo-
buttons per hour. After finishing his
remarks the great journalist grabbed
the handle of the press, dug his toes
into the floor about two inches, swung
himself backward, and squashed the
very latest news of the day onto the
virgin page. TO the very best Of his
ability he was trying to print an ideal
newspaper, and the journalists Of the
country have been striving. toward the
same end ever since. And everyone.
probably, has had a different ideal.
knew a journalist whose idea
was to say some thing mean and cut
ting about some body in every issue Of
the paper. The ideal newspaper, in his
estimation, had to have a temperature
Of at least15 degrees in the shade. In
every issue he would invites prone
inent and influential citizen into his
columns, and then cal him a horse
thief andsa scoundrel and q hypocrite,
and anything else that would be apt
to increase the circnlat ion OF thepa
per. As result, both he and his pa
per were much sough tel.
But life was not sweet to him. He
never knew the day nor the hourw
some man would step up Il. him and
Whittle him to- pieces with jack
knit and then Whistle for he cor
oner &c never knew when some man
whom he had Wrestled up one itorial
column and down another would drop
i'm and begin deny his eli.
toriaI ZION ibsi
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1903-03-04
DEN MARK.

The Danish minister of the interior
shas stated that the government of
Denmark. will not be represented at
the St. Louis exposition. This means
that only few Danes will send exhib-
Its to St. Louis.
The city council of Copenhagen has
smade special appropriation of $13,-
500 for the aid of families out of work
~aor a certain length of time. Great
care will be taken to have the money
st'stributed only among those who
really deserve it.
Tie Liberal party has suffered a
great defeat in the city council of
ta>oPenhagen. Mr.. Rump, a member of
fahe city council, had left the Liberal
party, which had elected him, and had
s-;oined the Social Democrats. The
Liberal members claimed that he
.sught to lose his seat because he no
aonger represented his constituents;
hut as he did not resign of his own
accord vote was taken. The result
was that only II votes were cast in
savor of ousting him, while those who
were in favor of keeping him muster
led 10 votes. This victory for the So
-csal Democrats forebodes the election
aof Jensen, a Socialist, as mayor Of
Copenhagen.
Holger Drachmann, the celebrated
t1oet, and Mrs. Sole Elizabeth. Drew
ssen will soon be united in marriage.
The ceremonies will be performed by
the civil authorities.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1903-03-04

Hon. N. ]. Bachelor, lecturer Of the
national grange, is now governor of the
state Of New Hampshire May he
make as good a governor as he has lee
turer. ~ T. T.. Z : r. =. =. 2-,,- q
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1903-03-04
NORWAY.


representatives of the press at the
Kristiania circus during the Holmen-
-a<ollen week we're so wretched that
sail the Kristiania papers and some
sSwedish papers agreed not to publish
one word about the circus.
The English-American syndicate
which is making expensive prepara-
Stions for working the Cumberland iron
mines has protested against the ex-
port duty on iron ore which the gov
~ernment has proposed. The syndicate
Iefers to it's contract providing for a
royalty of 81 cents per ton to the
Norwegian government, and the syn
dictate claims that this is the only in
i come which the government is en-
ahtled to from the Cumberland mines.
Half a dozen men who were work
ang in a tunnel on the Bergen rail-
way suddenly discovered that box
OF dynamite was burning close by.
They all took to their heels, but an
explosion overlook them, throwing
-them pell-mell to the ground. Three
of them sustained serious injuries.
The negotiations over the consular
sService question have been resumed
@safter two weeks interruption.
The crown prince of Norway and
Sweden won the first prize in a ten
mis- game in Kristiania.
Prof. Fridtjof hansen made an adj
dress when the prizes were awarded
fnt the close of the Holmenkollen
games, and the crown prince closed
the program with few compliment
stary remarks in pure Norwegian.
The feeling between the Norwe-
zgians and the Swedes at the Holmen-
kollen games was the most cordial
ever witnessed.
. The storthing has made appropria-
-tions amounting to $S,27O,O 900, which is
$4,000 less than what the budget of
the government called for.
. The farmers alliance held a nation
t1l convention at Kristiania and adopt
z.ed a platform for the next campaign.
The platform favors a moderate pro-
stective tariff for the products of farm
sand factory.
1@5 Norway has imported potatoes from
Algiers this winter.
49, sodlH JOuuSOu, d hTlSIldnltt attorney,
xecently stated in public lecture
that Norway has enough tillable soil
ITO support fifty million people, and
She blamed mainly the government and
sthe farmers themselves for the poor
4condition of the agricultural pursuits
ssof the country, In a discussion which
S5ollowed the lecture, Mr.. johnson de-
Tended his position with ability.
The Finmarken fishermen, instead
1of fishing where there is no fish, have
snommenced to kill the seals. which
are blamed for the absence of the fish.
The average value of seal is over
zone dollar. III.
Money is being raised for monu-.
snent to Soren Jaabak at Fritun, near
1landal, Jaabak- was the spokesman
sol the farmers in the storthing for q
long series of wears, :. + =
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1903-03-04
e00O0ooooo0oooo0oooosOOeoo
eGOSSIP FROM:
: SKANl0LlNAVI4A:

100000 OoO0OO,

<$S5t e. - :. sFlNlAND. "a -.
SD The Runeberg day was celebrated in
Helsingfors by a general illumination.
The city authorities had placed gas
globes around the Runeberg statue,
sbut Governor Kaigorodoff ordered the
police to remove them. He also pro-
hibited the illumination of the public
buildings and the streets in front of
iprivata houses. The illumination of
Sprivate buildings was continued.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1903-03-04
HARRY DANIEL s
MINOR =:::===
OBSERVATIONS
Copyright. 1903. By Harry Daniel.

DIR. PARKHURSTS IDEAL NEWS
49, * 20 PAPER. = .t-'@-@zs.=.>
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18

a Chrismus tree from some place. Larry
must go dig UP the ticker Rgin first thing
and pass Il all round. Some Of EN-.
Larry 'monE the lot. wanted to go over
10 NbOr City. the part where the cigar
makers hung out, and give EN- some fits
right away. but l got EN- 10 walt uli
they seen the kids git their presents ani
had somethin' TO eat.
I've often thought OF that supper
since. Most Crismusss I've been in win
ter quarters at Bridgeport, but I Rllus
think OF this long ago one. as sure as the
day comes The supper was q Jim
Dandy. and Larry and tbs boys what
could sing set at one end OF the middle
table tunin' up between the passin's OF
things. I can't begin 10 tell ye all they
had. but ! been in many a S-a-day hotel
that didn't have no better.
We'll. sir. by-sn-by they got ready 20
take things down often the Cr1smus
tree. and the wlmmin picked on Larry 10
do the presenun' l reckon I'll never for
git how he looked. stlndin' Up there.
stin I'm his spots sack. making his open
In speech. which was one of the elO-
ouintest things / ever heard Tell ys
what, he was well larned.
when all the little things was passed
round most ey'ry body got somethin' eI-
cept crsneycrow Rawlins. and Larry
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18

switched one OF his own presents OF on
TO him to make him feel good
some one says 10 sing song
Larry was Vfllin' and ready on. he
had a fns voioe. did the boy. and with
that slip OF a SRI. Jenny, standin' beside
him. the light OF the smoky lamps shin
IN down on him and her. while he had
his arm around her. he lifted Up his glass
OF rum, smiled while he sung. and give
Us.
'' While shepherdE Watched Their
F1ocks by Night
That was the night he's lost Tns
gang went over 20 the city about mid
night. mebbs later. and Jest simply
cleaned out the main club. where them
fellows was bunched-Tun the whole Con
zalcs crowd TO the bushes, but when the
fun was over Larry Lannigan was Miss
In. Three or four OF the boys had seen
him cit an awful rap on the head with
an ivory billiard cue. and he had stag
Eered out OF doors. and no ono followed
him. He wasn't found that night. nor the
next day. and no sign Of him the next.
Then We moved on. while Jenny stayed
behind 20 hunt. She stayed month and
then jined in New Orleans After that
we found by letter from the Mayor 70
the old man. that a nisser woman In
Ybor City had got him into her house
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18

hlsself an between EN- found out hshd
wandered home within n year after he got
hit. but d!dn't remember nothin'. and
they'd Jest done 10 him two or three
weeks before what lazy John Cousins
had told me was the best thing to do.
Now he's sound a. dollar. got the old
mans bizHess and had come to hunt Jen-
ME
Limpy.' says be. tears comm IN his
ewes. IL seems only few months 20 me
Instead OF years enough to have turned
ma gray When I spoke OF Jennie Just
now n strange look came over your face
oh. Limpy. for Gods sake. don't say
don't say-she isn't here,
I could hear the band playin' 'Evelina'
thRt very minnit and I knowsd she was
with the Lorriners on the center stage.
and I says kinda slow, thinkin' how he
didn't know anythin' bout Johnny Rooney
and all the children. She's on now
SAYS /.
Come. Doctor: for goodness sake
come. You've kept me vaitin' weeks I
want you 70 come. too. Limpy' And he
would have q that way.
by tinsy hlckies, J see ia got 10 tell
him before ne seen her. and my head was
Eoin' round thiDkln' 50 fast how 10 DO it.
] hadn't time 70 study ~ out nice. so :
i"st rrahs his arm as We gets to the door
OF the tent and says. iookin' him IN ths
eye. 'd' hrny H0oneEs dead.
well. well; iv that so7 Poor Johnnv.
r""r Johnny" But he's 80 anxious hs
pulled away from me and I followed
him iu.
I'VE went right down bv tho performers
entrance. At first he didn't see her. hue
then hH picked her out. and he was trem-
bin all over.
she was up standiu' ~ Bud Lori
mcr.s shoulders She didn't look much
different IN her makeup. still mighty pur-
Is. and Jest pert and graceful as she used
% be-
Who are the new people with her.
SAYS h", by n by. sort-a gsttin' steadied
down a little.
'Them'S Johnny Rooney's children
says 7. watchin' him clost. He turns
round. quick as fash. and says putry
near in a whisper:
Who I'D he marryr
Jenny
Never a move he made. but to look back
at her. He got Jest as white as marble
and stood jest Ike a stone figger. tremblin'
al gone. Questions all asst. wstchin' John
ny RoCney's wilder finish her turn.
And he stood Jest thst-a way when the
gong rung and they come OF towards us.
She seen me first. and I recksn my
looks mUst-s told her sorethin'. She
stopped. looked from me to him. then
staggered back. putin her hand 10 her
face. Larry couldn't seem 20 move ner
say nothin'.
Straight towards him. ho,dIn' out her
arms. she come. tears a-runnin' and a-soo-
bin. My I-arryi Ny Larry and he met
her half way.
''yes-sirce." said the old trainer. snap
ping shut the case % the watch That
was a happy day. He sent me this after
he'd taken her home with him Childrun
didn't want 20 leave the show. 80 they
never was told the story. Sposed their
mother took a notion 70 marry again
Never nobody knowet much about the
yarn OF the lost joey. cause I didn't tell,
50 1 guess that's what that in the watch
means
He rose from the grass under the wal
nut tree. and in few minutes We were
at the table In the chuck tent eating
what could he got together for Us. for the
telling Of the story and the bearing d II
had absorbed Us both too much 70 nooee
that dinner was in progress. and nov u
had been over soma tfrna
The St. Louis Republic., 1903-10-18

WRITTEN FOR THE SUNDAY REPUBLIC.
''YSsEir-ss. the day OF the joey Is pass
IN" observed LAmpy Hawes as he picked
Up Wisp Of straw and wiped a clay daub
from the right fore foot OF the King Of
bGRnaEerio Cay" who fondled the old
trainer all The while with his trunk.
Time was when shows Travelled 6y
wagon cross country, that no matter how
many rings stars. oTitter wzllopers, wire
artists = had It 'us the clown who's On
the hight hand Of the throne AL the tina.
and 6oI't = forEit I'll
Now, sTry shows Est q 6ossa 70
twenty 5osiss. NOR r less, whsrS thsy
used to have only one r two. Now thsy'B
purity cheap, whs-s Il Used TO be worth
while being . joey o. sarry nights. Ts1,
and by heck. they's real COMEDIANS IN
them days. teo."
With q GnIff ef contempt Gt ne circus
conditions Of this day the veteran show
mar. bent TO his work Of cleaning the feet
OF his charges. the herd Of elephants Just
back from the parade II must b done
before dinner.
When he had finished we walked slowly
from under the menageris tent TO the big
walnut tree that stood IN the lot
''Yes-sir, the old-tine circus Joey VIII
soon be Eonsr," continued the old man,
ss he sat down on the grass and threw
away his uuid Of hnecut. the unfaiIlnE
sign OF a yarn.
There won't b none At al purity SON.
and I reckon there amt really one now.
fest Ike there used 70 be- oid Dan
Prices about the last.
''Reckon never told y about Larry
LanniEan, the lost fosy. aid y The great
Joey that was lost forever TO the bizness7
Nobody never knowed nothin' about It but
the old man and ne. and he's dead now,
and anybody could call me 9 liar that
wanted to-thsy amt no proof q what Tn
going TO tell We. except this"
As he spoke he drew from his pocket
the heavy gold watch had so often seen,
the case beautifully done. with two dia-
monds Of more than medium size, set in
the familiar design OF a clowns peaked
cap. He had never spoken Of the time
piece before, and knew him too well TO
venture to ask him questions about It.
He opened the outer case and then the
inner one at the back. and revealed the
following inscription:
To LISIPY FROM LARRY.
LF4 T 1AA ANA AlA AllA EE L1GlAAN-
The case is in YOUR hands" I trans
lated slowly and wonderinEly.
Yes that's il. 'cordin' to what picked
Up among the Frenchers when ives over
there last. Our turn agin next year. they
ssy.
Reckon you don't understand that in
you- hands blzucss. Well. you can do
your Euessiu' same rs I've been suessin'.
6r,e- / give my spiel. It's a queer one.
6ad Gor't reed no lyiu' 10 pint II W.
"La1y Iaanigan Was a Ersat Joey in
bis day yesslT, take m oath. he's the
l. g. Baruum had tho year fore he come
vita US Hes a h.Z fsiler. purity well
lurTed IN some college where his rich pap
EeaL him. but he's Wild as pirate. and
run oT with rs and jIned. HIS folks was
Ilsh'- well heclca hUt when he did that
taey p-: ua lhc ba-s. and I've heard tel
.. -i-u'- lsavc 10 lin m-re 70 do with
J. -. iiL-u ,.tila Bic cared
q 10 a-jh Br=ruai. too. when he come
L. ~ S@"&. :lu.. ih~ OH man pu: i'm to
c.il'"- vailI-l'- aitj 20 Z GOT 20 know
h-r- 'ia- .t a.--Ger. lies a .Orn joey OF
The Columbus weekly dispatch. (Columbus, Miss.) 1902-1905, 1903-06-18
Resolutions of Respect to the Memory
of A. G. EasIey

For many months past we have
been missing the genial pres
ence, the pleasant intercourse
and the strong leadership of our
much Low ed Superintendent,
Brother A. q. Easley who has so
faithfully, during an uninter-
rupted period of twenty years,
watched over and directed our
Sunday School with all the con-
stancy and ability that he pos
sessed, but not until the 31st
day of May, 1903, did we fully
realize the full force of this sepa-
ration, for on that Sunday our
faithful and self-sacrifcing lead
er took his place which was re
served for HMM that great
school, there to continue to add
to his already we'll stored mind
through the endless ages all the
unsearchable riches of a happy
Immortality which is in store for
all those who are ready for His
appearing. Therefore, be it
Resolved 1st. That in b e
death of Brother Easley our Sun
day School has lost its founder,
father and leader; our church
a devoted officer and faithful
mem Der; the community
public spirited and honorable
citizen; his neighbors a con-
scientiOus peace maker, and the
Christian world one of the most
positive and convincing evidences
of the divinity of our religion
simple, consistent, symmetrical,
Christian life.
End. That we extend to his
grief stricken family, whose loss
is irreparable, our sincerest sym
pathy, and while we weep with
them now that we also indulge
with them the hope that one day
we shall join him in singing
those songs of the other shore.
Bird Resolved further, That
a copy of these resolutions be
furnished his bereaved family
and a copy to the county papers
for publication.
w. F. COOPER,
w. D. PHILLIPS,
J. w. COOPER,
Ommittee
The Columbus weekly dispatch. (Columbus, Miss.) 1902-1905, 1903-06-18
Rayo & Meaver.
~ ~ MM ~ ~ ~ ~


An alarm of fire was sounded
last Sunday morning at 1045
caused by the cottage owned by
Mr.. A. E. Love just south of his
residence on South Seventh
street being on fire. When dis
covered the flames had eaten
through the roof and had the en-
tire second story of the building
was enyelOped.
The firemen reached the scene
soon after the alarm and had two
streams at work in an incredibly
short time stopping the fire after
it had destroyed the roof and
preventing it from consuming
the entire building.
The cottage was occupied at
the time and while nearly all of
the furniture and household eff
fects were saved there was some
loss of things stored in the build
ing Mr.. Love was protected by
insurance enough to repair the
building.
The firemen did good work
and gave another endorsement
of the wisdom of maintaining a
paid department.