The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-12-27


The Chronicle
Washington, ID. g.
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No one can cherish more laudable
desire than to qualify for the high office
Of welcome guest With this admirable
object in view, you advance your in
terests just in proportion as you show
a never-faihng thOughtfulness for your
hostess.
Set out on your social career with a
determination 30 win. not only Dy Sc
curing a sound knowledge OF the laws
Of etiquette, as set down by the best
authorities. but by showing a consCien-
tiOus regard for the rights Of your
hostesses and perfectly evident dis
position to please and be pleasing.
II you find yourself left out IN the
general distribution Of agreeable fnVi-
tatiOns. don't blame society for over
looking you. The mistake IS yours, in
not rightly and pleasantly impressing
people, and your business should be TO
take yourself in hand. Find out where
the screws are loose and what is lack
ing in your manner.
There are q good many mentally
near-slghted persons i kOnW who are
hatiehed TO follow, when guests, the
bold and and clear-cut code of the So
Bial rule. Their behavior is so Excess
Bively correct and 50 unpleasant.
AS a guest you must be more than
1nerely correct. You must be kind;
you must be willing to sacrifice your
comfort and private preferences oc-
RasiOnally. It SIS your openly jealous
Rndeavor to serve them and TO help
entertain their guests that lends your
reputation among hostesses a real lus-
tire and couples your name everywhere
with the word charm.
Don't entertain the false notion that
sou can accept Inequalities with a view
to seeking only your own pleasure
therein There Is the guest who will
not exert himself unless he feels that
the occasion merits a display Of his
prowess or who waits for others, and
the hostess, especially to labor for his
amusement. He Is too often more dead
wood in the drawing room, and even
tualy he is dropped from invitation
lists.
To prove yourself a competent mem
Der Of society. keep it constantly in
mind that it makes not particle Of
difference whether you are asked in
for a. cup Of tea or a fOur-course dim
ncr at a neighbours house, you owe 1t
20 yourself and you owe it 70 your
hostess to make as much effort for one
sort of function as for another.
Realize if you can that your presence
Is only acceptable when it adds to the
pleasure of others.
The Politeness of Kings.
In all your dealings with hostesses.
be punctuaL Hardness is q common
prime, and one for which you are
bound eventually TO be punished. You
hlust be very, very great, or witty,
u beautiful to venture to hustle in
ate 20 a formal entertainment with
apologies that win you real forgive
ness.
The principle OF punctuaIty is the
1Oliteness Of kings Queen Victoria,
when she not infrequently, in her
younger days, went 80 drink tea with
the c0ttagers on her Scotch estate ap-
peared as exactly on the stroke or the
hour appointed for the humble enter
fainment as though the time had been
set for court banquet or n presenta-
zion Of peeresses at buckingham pal
ace.
Upon one occasion the royal equipage
broke down. and her Mejesty, arriving
Bt the cottage tea table after the quite
unavoidable delay Of ten minutes, Of
fered as full and formal explanation
end apology to her lowly and battered
entertainer as if she had been a duch-
ess. or even the czariua Of Russia.
queen Victoria knew the duties Of
a guest. and she did nos Siiow the face
Of her own exalted position to altar
their fulfliment one jot.
There is no more common and
more rcprehensible oversight than TAX
ing for granted that the hostess does
not appreciate all these small thoughts
OF and Tor her. She does. Neglect
these little and uuwritteit cOurtesies.
and you may easily blight your social
career. The hostess heart warns to
the man or woman who is so studiOusly
civil as 10 treat her slightest offer of
hospitality with distinguished courtesy.
Who answers her invitations definitely
ana promptly and who never disap-
q nuH MP 10 "a.
An Objection.
Bring n pleasant countenance and
your best toilet into your friends re-
ception room A hostess is never over
pleased TO have YOU treat her little
function, simply though il NAV be. as
q matter Of no Importance. Your honor
her entertainment by a suitably formal
costume, and IL is invariably safer 10
wear, when in doubt as to the Uroper
toilet Tor an evenings amuse ment.
your dress coat. or decoIIeffe GOWN
than business suit or cloth costume.
This is an almost a paramount obIiea-
ton, for remember that by the ornate
care or decorative beauty of vOur an
parel you add to the dignity and charm
or her drawing room and the festive
air OF her dinner or card party.
I have no patience with the INSURER
able selhshness Of the bored. sullxv. or
silent guest. If you have any reaIiz-
ing sense OF your obligations as a diner
or caller, maintain as high a level as
possible Of good spirits. Look cheerful
even III you are not a humorist. nor
perhaps, a ready talker.
I am not advocating a buovance Of
manner If that is wholly unnatural to
YOU nut, as You love your reputation
and hope TO achieve high ends do not
so into society when your temper is
ruined, or when in q melancholy mood.
We are all seeking the light. and MOI
the gloom, and you attract in proDor-
zion as You bear the candle of good
spirits and the elements of generous
laughter about you. ] can only. recon-
society. and you VIII see that hOsteesee
OF the houses to which YOU crave a VOL
come are always striving to gather CAV
and kindly folk at their tables.
DO not feel that Ct is an obligation
10 be brilliantly witty nor even a
clever story teller. In fact. YOU should
not strive TO be anything bur vour ma
tural self IF you are uniformly polite
20 fellow guests, unfaiIngIy cheerful
willing 20 talk your best to the dull ms
vel as the charming companion. and
gratefully appreciative OF your hostess
Efforts for your comfort. you have nut
in practice some of the cardinal rules
by which the welcome guest abldes.
The civiIity' Of Caesar.
7 can prophecy unerringly the social
fate Of that not uncommon indfviduqI
whom the hostess can never please.
the person who is acutely wretched il