Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-02-14
S~T0RIES0FJ0HN D.LONC|
Incidents In the Life Of the For
mer Naval Secretary.
A SAMPLE OF HIS READY WIT.

A SAMPLE OF HIS READY WIT.
how He Turned the Tables In HIS
Favor at "a Cridiron Club Dinner
In washfnrson~Tia Fondness For
Pets-How He Got "a ThrashIng-A
story of His
Here are some anecdotes Of John d.
Long, former secretary OF the navy,
which are Of timely interest:
Some time ago John p. Long was a
guest for the first time at a dinner of
the Grldiron club in Washington, which
is made up Of newspaper men. Tho
speakers at these dinners are subject
to all kinds Of Interruptions and guy
ing. Mr.. Long began by saying that
although he knew 1t to be against the
rules OF the club he had to confess to
preparing his speech beforehand, says
the Waterbury American. This brought
out a storm OF protests, which the x
secretary did not heed, but proceeded
with his speech. keeping cool and col
lected amid a be%wildering cross fire of
interruptions.
Finally he went on to pay a high
compliment to newspaper men, whom,
he said, he had found to be far above
the average in intelligence, integrity.
industry, kind heartedness, courtesy
and consideration for others. At this
there was a storm of derisive cheering
u.l a..,vhJou reVrta nrnn uaIIfnn oLnra
the din, "And that, you want us TO I'M
derstand, was also prepared before
hand, do your As quick as a fash
Mr.. Long replied, well, you can de-
pend on it, it was, for | have seen moth
ing in our conduct here tonight to
lead me to any such conclusion"
This brilliant sally completely turned
the tables in Mr.. Longs favor, and
after the storm of laughter and APP
plause had subsidized he was allowed to
Y finish his speech with but little further
interruption.
Mr.. Longs strong love of animals
was exhibited n day when he was
walking up Eleventh street in Wash
ington. A litter of young rabbits in a
window attracted his attention, and he
stopped to watch them, say the Wash
ington Star. On the sidewalk was a
box with a top of grating, and within it
were more rabbits. The ex-secretary
poked his walking stick through the
grating and stirred the rabbits up. The
animals in the window amused him for
some time.
"See that man playing with the rab-
bits?'' said a passerby to another pedes-
TRAN.
The other pedestrian looked over to-
ward the window containing the rab-
bits.
"Well, that's the secretary of the
navy" he added. There is no animal
in the world that doesn't interest John
d. Long. From a horse to a rabbit, it
is only a difference in the degree of in
terest he takes"
"Grandpa's going to lick me. Don't
let him, will you, Uncle |Johnny?" cried
a lad down in a little Maine village
years ago, as he WINGED at a twist of
his ear given by an irate old gentleman
who held him with II hand, flourish
ing a riding whip in the other, says
Leslie's Weekly.
Uncle Johnny's ~sympathies, it was
evident. were at once enlisted in behalf
of his favorite nephew as he asked,
"Nhat are you going to whip him for,
father?"
"Im~pudence,' answered the stern old
man-'impudence, and he must be
punished" do%urishing the whip.
Now, let us see said Uncle Johnny,
and he entered with spirit into the case
tone of his tirst). making a strong argu-
ment in favor of acquittal. But the
judge was obdurate, quoting, Spare
the rod" etc, and it was only by his
-earnestness and eloquence that Uncle
Johnny succeeded in arranging q COM
promise by which he was to take the
clicking instead of his nephew, think
ing, of course, that that part of 1t
would be a farce. But he reckoned
without his host and was amazed when
he was told to take off your coat, and
come into the she'd"
And when next morning the boy was
asked what he was laughing at so
heartily lie said: "Hee, hee. To see
grandpa lick Uncle Johnny, and to see
Uncle Johnny hop
1t is entirely safe to say that Uncle
Johnny. who was none other than the
ex-secretary of the navy, John d. Long,
never volunteered to take another
thrashing for his nephew,
Ona day ON one of his vacations.
spent in Massachusetts, Mr., Long took
his linen under his arm and carried
it around to the local laundry. says the
New York Times. \ day or two later,
feeling the need of a clean collar and
: shirt, he trotted around to the laundry
t to find out if it was ready, Entering
the little shop, he made his inquiry Of