The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-07-13

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Just a frightened eolored man,
Just piece of rope.
Just a jail demolished,
Not a bit Of hope:
Just q little fire,
just a shot or two,
wouldn't Russian cruelty
Seriously jar you?
Assistant Presidnt Corey OF the steel
trust denies the story that he went TO
work for the Carnegie Steel company
at 81 per day, and is therefore barred
from the captains of Industry class.
Even though a woman tells you she
would rather be spoken OF as intcih-
gent rather than beautiful. do not fail
to assure her frequently that she is
pretty If you want TO keep her solid.
The determination of the light com
pany to increase its gas output may
be in anticipation Of a Campaign Of
education" here this fall.
One way to make a bald-headed man
mad is to tell him you know of some
thing that viii make hair grow.
Speaking of injunctions, why should
not our baseball team get an injunction
restraining the ether team from getting
more han two runs per game? Then
we would be winning some.
A little boy played with a humble bee.
Receiving a sting which hurt dreadfully.
lie was led to conclude,
As the swelling he viewed
He'd better have let the humble bee be.
Our young ladies are advised to be
careful Of their company. The spec
tacle of a white girl promenading with
colored man almost caused a riot the
other day. not in the south. either. but
in chilly Wisconsin.
If that threatened war between Tur-
key and Bulgaria should come off and
result in the absolute wiping out Of
the governments of both countries,
thus paving the way for an enlightened
system in both places, we are for the
war.
The chemists of the University Of
Pennsylvania have discovered that al
cohOlic drinks increase the bacteria
destroying power of the blood in direct
4
know some men one drop of whose
blood would lay thousand bacteria
cold in death in less than a second.
Senator Hanna, in reply to an inquiry
as TO whether he had retired from
business. said: L should say not.
never retire from anything" Which is
not absolutely true, as it is only a
short time since Senator Hanna retired
from view when an attempt was made
to get a statement from him regarding
the postoffice muddle.
A cousin of Aguinal1o will enter Yale
this fall tusot icpmfwy taoinfwyttao
this fall to study forestry. 1t is hoped
he will not return to the Philippines
and teach his countrymen to take to
the woods when they see Americans
coming and fire from behind trees.
There are liars who lie with malice pre-
There are liars who lie to be funny.
There are liars who lie in their own de-
And liars who lie for money;
But of all the liars who ever have lied.
The worst lying cuss in the lot
Is the liar who quietly takes YOU aside
And lies of the fish he has caught.
That female Enoch Arden of Illinois
who recovered her mind after she had
been considered dead for twenty-one
years must have been Jared somewhat
to find her husband living with his
third wife, especially as the man no
doubt assured the first wife prior to
the marriage that he could be happy
with no other woman in the wide, wide
world.
When Colonel Eph Kelly broke out
of jail the other day it was surely a
case of a man leaving home.
OF course those boys who jumped on
the policeman at Liberty park had not
been drinking. It is sober men who
try to kick the life out Of an officer on
duty at a children's picnic.
Postmaster General Payne has again
taken up the postoffice investigation,
but says he has nothing to give out,
which leads us to expect there will be
something more doing shortly.
Admiral Cotton and the other officers
of the American squadron are still go
ing against free lunches in London. The
king and the lord mayor, among others,
have fed our heroes.
Texas. having had a food and race
war. too, is at present the leading
state.
Important Announcement.
The departments devoted to the in
terests of housewives and mothers and
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