The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-02-20
ANECDOTES FROM ANYWHERE.

John w. Yerkes, commissioner of in
tern-l revenue, tells OF campaigning in
Kentucky with another stump speak
er. The latter thought to make a good
impression in the famous distillery
town Of O~wensboro, so in his speech
at that place he sounded the praises of
whisky.
why, gentlemen said he, ST have
noticed in my reading of history and
liquor. I tell you, whisky makes men
smart"
Whats that?" said AN old farmer
who was a noted teetotaler.
whisky makes men smart" reiter-
ated the orator, and l challenge de-
NAL"
Then said the farmer, you'd bet
on it at once"
Four smart young men entered a
cafe a few days ago and took seats at a
table. A moment later a young woman
appeared for the purpose of waiting on
them. They were quite laxative, n
each in turn tried to ascertain the girls
first name, but without success. Finally
she informed them IT, her name was
Pearl.
"Oh, 1 see!' said one, you are the
pearl of great price"
NO she replied, IT am one Of those
pearls that are sometimes cast before
swine
"As Senator Carmack says about
Roosevelt's negro reception, it is diff
ficult to do the subject juStice-in
print" says the Atlanta Journal. I'VE
feel very much like the nan who was
trying to drive the calf through a gate.
After patiently working for an hour at
his thankless task, he at last succeeded
in getting the animal up to the gate,
run down the road. Go it,. he yelled;
you blankety! blankety! blank! blank!'
Then pausing a moment to catch his
breath and find a new epithet to hurl
at the calf, he exclaimed in despair,
and you're a liar, too
:::::
Theodore Hallam, one of the most
celebrated of legal practitioners, once
defended a burglar; n the case gave
him q story that he never tired Of tell
ing. The prosecuting attorney was
fighting vigorously, and had the de-
PENDANTS wife On the stand.
you are the wife of the prisoner?'
he asked her.
YES" she replied.
did you know his mode of life when
you married him?"
Il did, sir"
Twill o tell US why, then," went on
the prosecutor, surprised by this adj
mission, how came you to contract an
alliance with one of his kind?"
WELL" she answered ingeniously, II
was getting on, the other girls had all
been married, and I at last had no
choice but between him and a lawyer
who was counting me"
Bushop Watterson tells a story Of how
The was once taken for a drummer by
a travelling salesman who was riding
fon the same train. Indeed, the stran-
ger was SO confident hat he vas adj
dressing another of the guild that be-
gan the conversation by inquiring:
DO you represent a big house?"
Biggest on EARTH" replied the bishop
who was ION" in a twinkling.
Whats the name?" was the next
i question.
Lord & Church." replied the bishop
"H'm!" unused the drummer; never
heard of it. Any branch houses?"
Branch houses all over the world
said the nan of God, easily.
That's queer" went or the drum
mer, who began to hin he had rur
across a boastful representative OF
some small concern. "Er-boots and
shoes?'
NO" said the bishop.
Hats and caps"
mo"
Dry goods" asked the drummer, be-
ginning to display irritation.
WELL" said the bishop, som folks
rail- 'am n~OtiOnS."