Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-12-30

1)onN4aB e
Stranger-Do you think you can get
me ON the pension list7 Lawyer cheer
fully guess SO. But we may
have to get you naturalized first
Bazaar.
Its distinction: City man-How shall
l know which house it is? Suburbanite
You'll be able to tell easily enough.
It's the only one in the neighborhood
that hasn't For Sale sign on tt
Puck.
Actor-Hurry. or wen miss the
train. Actress-I can't find my dia-
monds or my purse. Oh, well.
never mind. Actress-Yes, but the
purse had ten dollars In it.-New York
Weekly.
The schedule: Newcastle-W there
any romance connected with your en-
gagement7 Ingerfeld-Romance1 4
proposed to her at 8:45 and she ac-
cepted me precisely at 9:15. Detroit
Free Press.
But why did you not send for the
doctor next door when you became
suddenly Ill? asked his friend. .'Yon
forget" answered the sufferer. 'that
have been learning to play the cornet
recently. Puck.
A good point: He-There is ono
thing In particular like about spin.
sters. she-What is that? He-They
never bore fellow by telling him how
they used to do this and that before he
was born. Tit Bits.
George. did you know that / was
going to marry your sister," s.Well, Il
heard her say SO, but she's had that
Idea about so many other fellows that
/ didn't feel sure about it till you told
me. "-Brooklyn Life.
Say ra,' queried little Bully Bloc.
bumper, whats an echo?" IAN echo,
my son." replied the old man, with 4
sigh long drawn out, SIS the only thing
that can f1im-ham woman out of the
last word-The Tyre.
A beautiful romance headed on:
You don't mean to tell me you rescu.
ed q young lady from drowning and
dldn's even stop to learn her namev'
"rhat's what did. My wife was
there when got the girN ashore.''
Elk.
Fuddy-Aren't you going to tnke any
notice of the libelous charges that
have been circulated about your"
Duddy-Not on your life. If did
they might come to the knowledge Of
somebody who had not heard them
Boston Transcript.
An incidental revenge: IBID your
son really elope?" yes, and It's such
blow. But there's one thing about
it that brings me little consolation
What's that7" HE eloped with that
odious Mrs. SINNERS hired GIRL
Cleveland Plain-Deal
Courtroom effects: The lawyer-Of
course, my dear madam! The great
thing in case of this sort is to In
troduce something into the evidence
that will appeal to the jury. The lady
oh! | shall change my costume
reve.ss g. Dsoaklyn Life
"That womanss DOss Of the ward all
right" said the first repeater, in the
days Of female suffrage. land she's
regular terror, amt she2" THAT'S
what" replied the other; II wanted 81
nore'a s aats . fn Alb M8alaa'. gim4
at was careless of me to say that
I admired Bacon" remarked the young
woman with glasses did you offend
some Shakespearean student?n mo
1t was Chicago pork packer. He
frigidly remarked TINT he didn't care
to talk hop."-Washington Star.
Life preserver: Pat-Oi say, Moike,
phat do yez call that big round thing
on Their back Of that auto billy7 Mike
Shure, an that's an ixtry toire, IL
wan should burst, yez haythen. Pat
Begorra, an OF fought 1t war loife
Observation-Disclosures Telegraph.
A journalist sat for many weary
minutes in the waiting room Of one Of
our medical celebrities. His patience
at an end, he called the servant and
said: my man, just 60 In and tell your
master that II I am not admitted In
five minutes shall be well again.
Ex.
"Wait second" she said, as she
stepped into the store. Certainly" he
replied, and when he had been uptown,
looked through his mail, spent two
hours on Change. and taken luncheon
at the club, he returned and found her
Just emerging from the door.-Cincin-
natl Commercial Tribune.
Time up to date: 81 have been
thinking" said Father Time. .of aban-
doning the scythe as an emblem"
abandoning the scythe?" said the
| goddess Aurora, who is always on
hand early to greet the old gentleman.
Eyes. Don't you think an alarm clock
would be more appropriate ?'-Judge.
"Did you hear about the game work
ed on Harker in the skyscraper this
morning? Some sleek chap walked in
and told Harker II he'd give him an
umbrella he'd 60 up to the roof and
)me down holding on to the handle"
Did he" yes; he came down in tn,
elevator, and guess he's holding OF
to the handle yet. philadelphia Rec
ord.
4 Mrs. Hayfork lin country postoflce)
Anything for me? Postmaster-I
don't see nothin'. Mrs. Hayfork-I
was expectin' a letter or postcard from
Aunt Spriggs, tellin' what day she was
comm. Rural postmaster calling his
wife, you see postcard from
Mrs. Hayfork's Aunt Sally7 His wife
Yes; she's comm, on Thursday
Petoskey Tyre.
Ancient Proofreading.
The editions Of books printed two
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