davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
nImcuItIe. in LanruaEe.

A Frenchman came TO England to
learn English and the following SEN
tence was given him:
''The rough cough and hiccough
plough me through" The teacher
told him the first word was pronounced
ruff. He thereupon said this: The
ruff cum and hiccuf pluff me thruff."
mo, no; the second word is pro-
nouneed koff.'
''Then," said the Frenchman, sit
must be the RON coff and hiccof ploff
me throff."
The third, fourth and fifth words
were explained with the same result,
which the reader may repeat to him
sef.-London Express.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
New Kind Of Cheese.

Making Italian cheese is q new In
dustry which Is attracting attention
In New Jersey. Many cheese factories
have sprung up, and tomato Gamers
have turned to cheese making to util-
ize the oversupPly Of tomatoes The
latter are collected and mashed and
then mixed with salt and spices in 8
large box like a mortar bed. They are
then stirred and mixed by hoes to a
proper consistency, but thereafter the
process is known only to q select few.
Science and Industry.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
rurkI.h Monk settIement.

On the east point of the sacred
Mount AthOs, on the Turkish PENN
sula, Chall1idike, is a settlement of
5000 monks, scattered among 22Omon-
asteries, the whole forming a monastic
republic in the dominions Of the sui
tan, to whom they are tributary. The
yearly tribute they pay is by no means
a small one, but the sum is easily met
by the republic, which is very rich and
counts many milliOnaires among its
members.-N. Y. Sun.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
ALinruIrtie auanaar1.

The Boston girl took OF her glasses
and wiped them tenderly, rehectivelyr
on a piece of chamOis skin
Then she tapped her foot decOrous-
ly on the hardwood floor.
Anon she moved uneasily, almost
petulantly, in her chair.
Hist She was thinking.
At length she mUrmured mOOdily
TO herself:
Il cannot determine whether the
plural of hoodlum should be hoOdlums
or hoOdla. "-BaItimOr American.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
TIE TELEPHONE Girl Secure.

women have to fight for an even
chance with men in other lines" said
one Of the officials of the New York
Telephone company the other day,
"but in our business they are in no
danger from male competition. It
would be simply impossible to run a
telephone exchange with male Oper-
ators. Who ever heard Of a hello
boy? There is trouble enough with
boys answering the phone in Offices,
and there is no danger of their be-
ing used in place of girls in the tele-
phone exchanges. IL is not chiefly
because girls are steadier, more at
tentive and more polite, but it is be-
cause a girls voice carries better
over the wire than a boys, being
higher, clearer and more penetrating.
But there is a still more important
reason. A girl can tell what the fell
low on the other end Of the wire is
trying to say, when a boy would be
shouting hOpelessly: What did you
sayP"-N. Y. Times.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
Ordnance surreI Nap.

The idea of the ordnance survey
map is to be improved upon by a
piece of geographic sculpture" The
whole surface of the states is to be
reproduced in a model to a scale of
two and a half inches to the linear
mile. Railway lines, swamps, forests,
everything will be shown in this
model, which will be in sections, to
admit Of easy alteration when re-
quired. Duplicates of these sec
tons will be sold at a cheap rate,
so that professional and business
men can have maps.-Scientifc Amer
lean.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
The Wrong Place

Mrs. Casey-Ol but losht a foine
little chiny vase that Mike brung me
whin he come home late from the
dimmecratic rally. Twas jist his
own carelissniss, too.
Mrs. Cassidy-Did he drop it an
break it2
He carried it home in his hat.
Shure, he might a knOwed that'd be
the furst place I'd soak him-"-Phil-
adelphia Press
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
Overheard In Gun Stare.

Desperate-LOOking Party-I want
to buy a revolver.
Dealer-Yes, sir; here's the three
latest styles; this plain, substantial
arm is much used for self-defense;
this silver-mounted one with pearl
handle is used for shooting sweet
hearts, and this cheap, common af-
fair Is usually used to shoot wives.
It's very popular just now.-Balti-
more American.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

want the trousers creased7" asked
the tailor.
That's the style, int it?"
"Well, not so much, perhaps, IS it
used to be. Some Of my customers
won't have Il done now ct al"
20, well, I'm not particular" re-
Piled the customer. Suppose yo1
crease one Of the legs and leave the
other baRgy. Chicago Tribune.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

No public document bearing King
Edwards signature is ever carried
by postmen, though the kings pri-
Vate letters are usually entrusted to
the ordinary post. Wherever the
king may be two kings messengers
or more leave London every day
bearing ohcisI papers that his ma
jesty must deal with Immediately.
Thus the King is kept busy, and some
times overworked, even on his hoil-
day trips.-N. Y. Sun
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
Entirely PeaeeabIe.

Lady mot liking the look of her
new servant)-Did you have any
words with your late mistress as you
were leaving your lastplace?
The domestic (encouragingly)-Not
in the least, mum. locked her in
the bathroom, and took all my things
and slipped out as quiet as you
pleasel-Stray Stories.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

Medical men say that books and
paper money carry the microbes of
disease, and yet the employees Of pub
lie libraries, who handle hundreds of
books daily, and bank officials, who
handle thousands of notes, do not
catch" the diseases. The reason
Is that library people do not wet
their fingers with their lips to turn
over the leaves of books, and bank
officials do not wet their fingers in
the same way to count money.-Med-
ical Journal.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

At the Paris pawn house about $780,
900 watches and $4,000 wedding rings
are deposited every year. The Oldest
object there in 1900 was a suit Of
clothes on which five francs had been
advanced in 1869. 1t belonged to a
soldier who fell in the war of 1870,
and whose widow paid her annual
due on it for over 30 years in the
hope of being able some day to re-
deem tn. Y. Sun.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
MereIy Hint.

Thunder and guns!" exclaimed the
old gentleman, as he was given the
bill for his only daughters last gown,
'but you cost a pile of money"
''Wen, papa" she replied, demurely,
'if you wouldn't sit in the back par
Ior with the door open when am
entertaining Mr.. Binkley in the front
parlor, you'd stand better chance
of getting rid Of the expense."-Chi-
caRo Evening Post.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

The first artificial butter was mar
Earine," made in POissy, France, in
1859. It was made from the fat Of the
Ioins and kidneys Of cattle, which,
when melted, is sometimes called "oleo
oil" This oil, tallow, lard, olive and
cottonseed oil are used, combined with
dairy butter, in making the various
butterines. COcoanut butter Is largely
used in northern EuroPe-IndianaP-
oils News.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
D.nxerou. Aequieseenes.

'TWhat was the cause of VsWdVill
going to the hospital?' asked Flu
6litieS.
IAN Irish friend was telling him
that the Hibernians Of the country
we're going to put a stop to actors
impersonating them on the stage.
Vswdviu agreed with him"
But that didn't cause the fight,
did it?"
eyes. The Irishman said that the
actors didn't do the Hibernians JUS
tice-and Vawdvill said no comedian
could. When he came to he was in
the ambulance. "-Cincinnati CONNER
cial Tribune.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
TIE Ill Of Vice YER.

HaPpy-Go-Lucky-The fellow hit it
right when he said Pessimist is one
who is always looking for worms in
chestnuts.
Down-in-the-Mouth-And suppose
an optimist is one who likes to eat
the worms without going to the trou-
bic of looking for them.-Rum Punch
Bowl.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

One hears a great deal about the
glaciers of Alaska, and it is satisfae-
tory to know that Uncle Sam possesses
q few more important ice rivers Of his
own. But few people are aware that
there are in Montana some Of the finest
glaciers in the world, even rivaing
those Of the AlPs.-N. 7. Sun
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

II wouldn't hurt Henrietta's feel.
ings for the world" said Mr.. MeektOn,
but 1 must say that wives are little
difficult to please"
Have you just found that out?"
81 am not announcing it as a dis.
cOyery; only as a suspicion. But, frOm
observation. it seems to me that they
either say: oh, he's like all the rest,
OF else they wonder Why he can't be
like other men Washington Star
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
ThIEtIsdovvn in China.

This country is not the only one
where unconEidered trihes are snapped
up by the manufacturers and put to
practical use. In China the down Of
the thistle is gathered and mixed with
raw silk so ingeniously that even ex-
perts are deceived when the fabric is
woven. II is also used to stun cush-
ions as q substitute for eiderdOwn, and
a very good substitute It makes.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

Mrs. ShaPeleigh-I am looking for
something that win enable me to keep
my skirts out of the mud.
Floorwalker-Yes ma'am- You win
find the fancy hosiery in the base
ment.-Chicago Daily News.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
sInM Boz.

Ascum-And what profession 3
your son to follow?
Pater-I don't know yet, but that's
about all he'll do, guess.
What? How do you mean2"
Hell follow some profession; he
never seems able to catch up to any
thing."-Philadelphia Press.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

Freddie-Ma, the bat is the biggest
bird that flies, amt it?
Ma-By no means, Freddie.
well, anyway, some of 'em must
be mighty big, cause heard father
say he was out on one last night
Richmond Telegraph.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

At the present day, on the best su-
thOrfties, there are 25O, OOO, 900 Nussul-
mans IN TIE world. The Christian
population Il put st AZ, OOO, 900, but the
increase Of Islam Is more rapid than
that Of its sister religion.-KshgiOus
Journal
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
Bu.inea. Regulations in Germany.

Bus eh9 heBuAAAAoAe IN @EEWAhys
Business methods are largely reg.
ulated by law in Germany, and there
is not the individual liberty in such
matters as there is in this country.
For example, if a manufacturer makes
false statements of any kind about
his products, any business man may
bring suit against him, the penalty
being fine or imprisonment. Nor can
a dealer advertise a removal sale, ("
and then restOck his store and con-
tinue business at the "old stand"
Such phrases as ''the best in the
world" and superior to all others,
are not allowed in advertisements, as
they are considered detractions Of
northumberland Leader.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
A the stork Sec Il.

First Stork-I just left a baby at
that milEonaire's house.
Second StOrk-Funny things these
human beings. I've just delivered
three to one woman in G tenement,
and her husbands out of work and
they haven't a cent.-BrOol<lyn Life.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
KneM II Al

Binks-You're putting your boy
early to work.
Jinks-Yes; he's a clever lad, for
he's learned everything the teacher
knows.
He has?"
'He has that. The teacher said:
I can't hammer anything more into
that head of his."-Stray Stories.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

Green-Brown told an acquaintance
Of mine that he could have beatmy time
and married you himself If he had
wanted 20.
Mrs.. Green-The ideal I wonder
why he didn't do Il. then?
@0h, I can readily understand why
he didn't. He had q grudge against
me."-Chicago Daily News.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
A DOubteF.

"And do you never wish to expert
ence loves young dream?" asked the
romantic young married woman Of her
bachelor brother.
mo, sir" replied he, ''for, you know,
dreams go by contraries."-Detroit
Free Press.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
IA. Wife.r Rh.reahon1..

Bridget" said the doctor, as he re-
turned to the house in haste, "can you
tell me anything Of my wife's where
sbouts?"
FShure, an OF don't know, sOr'r, but
OF think they're in the wash," replied
Bridget with deep Eincerity.-N. Y.
Press.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

Miss ThirtyOdd-Softleigh had the
audacity TO propose to me last even
ing.
Miss TwentyeTen - Indeedl And
when Is the wedding TO take placer
-ChicaFo Daily News.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

CHent-HoW about that account I
left with you to collect on shares?
Collection Agent-Oh, collected
my half an night, but fits simply inn
possible 20 collect yours.-ChicagO
Daily EeWs-
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

''WeII, Hr. Hart" said the doctor,
81 congratulate you. You are the
father Of" "'AhI" exclaimed the
proud man. "A Hart turns up, eh2 ]
hope it's the Jaek-thst IS, . boy"
Two boys. Twins, IN fact" The
asuce."-PhiladelPhiS Record.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

Small Boy-GiVe me q large bottle
Of the worst medicine you've got in
VOur shop.
Druggist-WhAt's the mstter2
~WeI, I've been left all alone with
grandma, and she's suddenly been
taken III, and I'm going to get even
With heri"-Stray Stories.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
sarcophaEus Of Cassiul.

Cassius, after the battle Of PhiliPpi,
killed himself and was buried in the
island Of ThasOs. A sareOphagus, which
is believed to hold his remains has
been recently discovered there. N
y. Sun.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

Jack-Her father positively refuses
to give me her hand in marriage.
Tom-That's tough. What are you
going to do about it?
ooh, suppose there is nothing left
now but 70 ask the girL"-Chicago
Daily News.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

He-You win never want for any
thing II you marry me.
she-Whati win you supply some
one that 1 can love, alsO2 = Stray
Stories.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

JagvsI take q little Whflly now
and fhen e. Q medicine.
EaRgs-XeE, Of course. Your wife
ted ne yoa hadn't seen 3 ven day
for yeaus-chicagO DAfly NeWA
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
what Uncle Reuben sayu.

When 20 see a new moon shinin'
in yO'r face ober blue gum tree, it
am a sign dat de old woman am gwine
to strike a pose an ak 20 why dar
amt any 'taters in de house. Mebbe
20 am gwine to strike 4 pose, too, but
It won't be de ekal o. hers.-Detroit
Free Press.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

JsrrOld-I took Dolly out IN my
auto yesterday.
Hsroid-of course you proposed 70
hsr2
moi Every time I started to
brots dOWn.-Pusk.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

@John," said the retired lawyer to his
soaehman, -aren't the horses trying to
run away2"
They be, siri"
Then drive into something cheap"
-Eleotricsl Review.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
RInr 90 40 nInnona.

One Of the most skilful lapidaries
of Antwerp, has succeeded, after sew
eral unsuccessful attempts and three
years Of patient work, in cutting a
perfect finger ring out Of q single
Observation-Disclosures Journal
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

Witless-Who is that handsome girl
standing near the pianO2
Mrs. Homer-That is my daughter.
Witless-Indeedl She doesn't re-
semble You in the least.-ChieagO
Daily News.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
kicked At the Poet.

Redd-Did the editor kick at your
verses?
Penman-WeIl, he kicked all right,
but not at the verses exactly.-Yonk-
ers Statesman
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
A SahEtffutN

CuBtomer-HsVe you any problem
novelist
Boo11eIler-No, but here "a . treat
ise on integral calculus which il
said TO contain some novel problems.
Rocky Mountain News.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

The new president Of Hsyi Is IS
years old. Il is evident, says the Chi
caro- Record-Herald, that the young
men have not e. jet assumed charge
n HayA
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
ABout the siss of Il.

Little Wfie-Whst's = PhilosO-
pher, pa2
PA philosopher, my son, is a
man who can point out q dozen rea-
sons why other people should be con-
tent with their lOt.-Chicago Daily
EeWB.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

Mrs. Rittenhouse Squeers-Are they
fashionable people?
Mrs. De Laneey Plaee-Oh, no. They
have ehildrsn.-Philadelphia Record.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17
Proof Against such Arrument.

She-He didn't succeed in conTine-
ing her, after all his argument.
He-NO; he merely made her mad.
But his explanation was clear"
ayes, and that's where he made his
mistake. He told her It was as plain
as the nose on her face STRAY StO-
ries.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

Eortuuately for q mans peaee Of
mind Ne seldom hsaEs other peoples
rel opinion q hfmsslf.- Chieago DAILY
NsaA
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-01-17

It Is becoming quite usual Tor
girls to take part in the bun fights
81 Spanish cities.-N. Z. Sun
The daily morning journal and courier., 1903-01-28
AGED ROCKVILLE REMAINS,
Death of Charles Metcalf, Father of
 Druggist Metcalf

Death of Charles Metcalf, Father of
 Druggist Metcalf
 Rockville lost one of it's old residents January 24th in the death of Charles Metcalf. MT Metcalf's death was due to general breaking down due to old age. He was seventy-one years old andwas born in Mansfield in the Met calf homestead, what Is now known as Mansfield Depot. Mir. Metcalf worked in the woolen business for many years. For long period he as designer at the mills of the Rock Manufacturing ComS pany. He worked there during the time of the civil war. After the war he went to Oregon, where he received ten dollars day in gold for his work. Returning east he came to Rockville. He had lived there a number of years and was highly esteemed and respected. He worked in recent years at the suffered a shock, since which time he had failed rapidly. He leaves wife and two sons, William A., druggist in Hazardville, and Arthur, druggist in New Haven, also a brother. Andrew J., in Holland. F, Elliott Metcalf, the druggist of Rockville, is nephew. Mr. Metcalf for years served the West school district faithfully as clerk and treasurer. He was republican, but never took a prominent part in politics. He was q member of the Methodist church. The funeral was held Tuesday afternoon, January 27th.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1903-01-28
COMMITTEE ON STREETS

The Committee on Streets will mrct in Rooms 10 and II, tity Hall Friday, Janu- ary 30, 1903, at D. m., when the following matters vii! be considered.
 Petition of Bernard McQueeny for per. mission to construct an entrance in side walk into cellarway in front of No 286 Elm Street.
 Petition of George Treiber ct al, for crosswalks at the intersection of Auburn and Fayette Streets.
 Petition of William $. Pardee ct al. for the strengthening and widening of Barnes Street and the establishment of street and grade lines thereon.
 Petition of John Coleman ct al. for walks on both sides of Weton Street, and on both sides of Lyman and Albert Streets between Welton and State Streets.
 Petition of David (. Munson ct al. for sidewalk on the west side of Central Avenue between Fountain Street and Edge wood Avenue.
 Petition of William Konold ct al. for curhs and sidewalks on Peck Street. between At. water Street and Clinton Avenue.
 All persons interested in the foregoing are notified to attend and be heard thereon without further notice.
 Per Ordor,
 WILLIAM FREEMAN, Chairman.
 Attest: JAMES B. MARTIN,
 j2S St Asst. City Clerk.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1903-01-28
IN THE HOUSE.
Numerous Bills Introduced ond Othel
 Business Transacted

Numerous Bills Introduced ond Other
 Business Transacted
 Hartford, Jan. 27.-The house passed a resolution appointing Herbert Case of Barkhamsted a commissioner for Litch- field county for four years from July next MT. Dunn of Norwalk introduced bill for the consolidation of tha city of South NorWalk with the city of Nor walk under the corporate name of the latter The bill makes the city and town limits of Norwalk the same. It was referred to the committee on cities and boroughs Chatfield of New Haven offered proposed constitutional amendment to provide for the use of voting machines in Connecticut. Re- ferred to the house committee on con- stitutional amendments. Cross of Fairbury introduced a bill providing for the construction of a bridge by the Commissioners of New Haven and Litchfield counties over the Naugutuck river near the village of Waterville, The bill provides that Litchfleld Coun- tvs share of the expense shall not ex- ceed $4,000. Referred to committee on roads, rivers and bridges.
 Spittle of Torrington sent a proposed constitutional amendment increasing the compensation of members of the general assembly from $500 to $500 per year, and one milage each way for the regular session at the rate of 25 cents per mile. Resolutions were introduced for the appointment of Howard B. q as deputy judge of the Danbury city court. Several bills were sent to the speakers table providing for changes in the laws governing the care of paul. pers.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1903-01-28
IN THE SENATE
Bill for Commission to Examine All
 Mot0rmen

Bill for Commission to Examine All
 Motormen.
 At the opening of the senate, Senator McNeil introduced bill to create a commission of three members to exam inc applicants and issue licenses to mo- tormen on all electric roads in the state. The commission is to consist of three members, a lawyer, civil engin- eer and practical business man, who shall be appointed by the governor for 8 term of four years, at a salary of $1,500 each per year. All motormen un- der the bill must be licensed and the liz cense shall be revoked for cause after hearing by the board It was refer red to the judiciary committee. Another bill offered by the same senator pro- vides for free text books in public schools to be supplied by the state, re- ferred to committee on education.