Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-02-14

ihs hiaideh.-New York Evening Sun.
When the millennium comes and there
are no more wars, it will be no easy task
70 peat that Dig gun at Sandy Hook into
pow Shares and pruning hooks-New
York Tribune.
Tifington-I'm getting old.
Widdleton-Oh, no,
ilinngton-1es, | am. I've begun TO
think that | look young for my years
Brooklyn Life.
Inc Innkeeper-I warrant there is
more travelling now than ever before.
Inc Irayeler-In truth there is WHY
look you, they are putting another eoaco
on the line to Boston.-Puck.
Smith says he has the key to the sit
shut the door. He'll be here in less
than ten minutes to borrow a dollar to
get the ock!'-Atlanta Constitution.
Hiller-He? Why. he'd commit murder
for the sake of getting a topic to write
Delly-And murder the Kings English
IN writing it up.-Boston Evening Tran
script.
Teacher-Willie, you may spell e'felt."
Willie-F-e-l-t
Teacher-That's right. Now, johnny,
what is felt?
:. Johnny-Mamma' shipper Indianapo-
lis Journal
Sir Charles?
He-Well, fact is, I've seen very little
of it; You see, I've only had it three
months, and when it isn't in the hospital
am-Punch.
"Smithers never lights one Of his ci-
CARS. just keeps il in his mouth and
ehews. the end. I've often wondered
"Yon wouldn't if you had ever smoked
one of them. Cincinnati Tribune.
The other night an Irishman accosted
gentleman on the street with reouest
for the time. The gentleman. suspecting
that Fat wished to snatch his watch,
gave him stinging rap on the nose, with
BE ia bers retorted Pat. "Oi'm glad Oi
didn't ak yees an hour ago.
Miss Gushy-Oh. Mr. Jones, won't
you take a chance? We're getting IN a
rattle for an old lady who is as poor
Mr.. Slim Gnterrupting)-Ex Excuse me,
ladies. but | would prefer-er-som
rich young widow.-Columbia Jester
Rev, Goo1man-Y3I are a very noole
little fellow, Tommy. Now tell me what
deep underlying principle prompted yon
to forgive those wicked boys who called
you ugly names? Tommy-They was
all bigger than me.-TOwn and Country.
The agent for patent hair restorer
received this testimonial: Dear Sir:
few days ago | accidentally spilled some
of your hair hatcher on the straw mat
tress at my lodgings. and when | re-
Tit-Bits.
Maud-Dick proposed to me last night.
Ella-What did you tell him? Maud
said he had better ask mamma. and what
do YOU think the wretch said? Ella
Goodness knows. Maud He said he had
asked her already, and she wouldn't have
him.. -Tit-Bits.
Rastus-Ah dreamed OBJ heaben las
night.
zeke-Am dat so? An whit did it look
like?
"a monst'us big chicken roost in de
middle ob a Tatermillion patch"-San
Francisco H"Ietin.
1.-THE witness told all that happened on
the second floor" said the judge: NOW,
why do you object to his telling what
happened on the third floor?'
Because, if it please your lordship,"
replied the X. c., that is another
story."-London Express.
Sympathetic Listener-In those dreary,
desolate wastes, Mr.. Dashpole | sup
pose you grew very fond even of your
dogs.
Returned Arctic Explorer-Heavens
no. miss! We had plenty of pemmican
and walrus meat.-Chicago Tribune.
Towne-Karbon was boasting about
the size of his new baby today. He says
it weighs a ton.
Browne-How ridiculously extravagant
to say "a baby weighs tom
Towne-But his idea of a ton is pc
culiar. He is a coal dealer, you know
Philadelphia Press.