Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-07-04

never completed the ceremony and 80
has never received his fee.
1t is seldom that the wedding Of a
colored couple will go off without some
hitch. Here Is the report Of one, al
though I do not vouch for the details.
Uncle Banks, an oysterman in one Of
the counties bordering on Chesapeake
bay, was courting Aunt Polly, who had
grown sons whom Uncle Banks very
shrewdly conjectured might prove use
full in his business. After a short
courtship he found Aunt Polly willing,
and one day shambled into the clerks
office and asked for a license. The
clerk, knowing the vocation Of the old
man, made out an oyster license, de-
livered over the paper, received the
dollar and Uncle Banks departed in
great glee over his prospective we'd
ding bliss.
The eventful day arrived and before
the minister stood Uncle Banks in his
new suit and billed shirt" and Aunt
Polly, whose attire Of white served to
bring out in stronger contrast the dus-
ky hues Of her face. When the license
was opened the colored parson adjust
ed his glasses, looked and looked again,
and then exclaimed, Hi, my Brudder
Banks, whatcher got hyar? This amt
no marriage license; this is an oyster
license"
Aunt Polly's wrath was something
terrible. you go way from here, you
niger, you. I amt no eyester. amt
sumpin' you can kotch. Use specta-
BILE colored lady, whyar eff she marries
got ter be married like white folks. Go
way from hyar, you niger, you.'
1t seemed that the wedding would be
indefinitely postponed when one of the
guests broke in, Aunt Polly, ef you
don't marry Uncle Banks what yer
gwine to do wild der clothes?" This
was a poser. It certainly would not
do to spoil the wedding outfit. Il
speed I got ter have dat fool niger
anyhow" Uncle Banks hurried off,
procured the proper document, the GER
emony was duly consummated and for
the rest Of his life Uncle Banks endur-
ed the wrath Of Aunt Polly for the
sake Of the hire of her children.
Presiding Elder Amiss, of the Vir-
ginia conference, tells Of an old maid
who was so much pleased that she was
at last to be married, and so anxious
that all the proprieties Of the occasion
should be observed that she came her
self to arrange for the ceremony.
And, oh, Brother Amiss, I want you
to have a song at my wedding"
What song would you suggest"
II want you to sing:
This Is the way long have sought,
And mourned because found 1t not"
This story is matched by that Of the
town Christian Endeavorers who re-
quested the organist to play something
appropriate at their wedding. Great
ly to their modification, but to the
amusement Of the audience, they found
themselves walking down the asile to
the strains Of Onward Christian Sol
diers, Marching as to War"
Not every minister has Jared so poor
ly as DR.. A. ]. Gordon, of Boston, to
whom the bridegroom, when the cere-
mony was ended, handed a 50-cent
piece and said: Doctor, take out what
ever you think Is right"
But some have not Jared so well
even. A minister in the mountains Of
Virginia agreed to marry couple
and accept certain number Of coon
skins. The ceremony was duly per-
formed, but when the bridegroom was
questioned about the fee he replied:
But haven't kotched the koons, yit."
In my early ministry I tied a we'd
point moral as we'll as adorn a tale.
I took my stand among the assem-
bled guests with some trepidation, for
my experience at weddings was limit
ed. The door opened and the country
couple walked in swinging hands. The
bridegroom exclaimed:
Here we come, two by two, gittin'
thyar, young feller"
The guests Uttered while I proceed
ed as best I could with the ceremony.
will you have this woman to be
your lawful welded wife, to live with
her after Gods ordinance, in the holy
estate Of matrimony?"
He looked up and said, "Of course" !"
asked her, "Will you have this man
to be your lawful welded husband"
etc. When she nodded assent the
groom said:
None Of nodding; say yes, sir"
AS soon as the benediction was pro-
nounced the newly made husband ex-
claimed, "She's mine now. Will any,
body give me a hundred dollars for
her?"
Then I learned that before the we'd
ding he had tarried not wisely, but too
long at the village saloon. It was not
difficult to predict the future Of such
a couple.-Washington Post.