The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-07-15

business for some time. now."-Puck.
Inkerly-'I can't read this writing"
Bossby-"Pooh, The writing is good
enough! Any ass could read it. Hand it
to me. Chicago Daily News.
A Great Ambition-Idttle Girl (watching
her mother fixing batpins through her hat)
when viii be old enough, Mummy, TO
have holes made in my head to keep my
DqetorvDq iht II 81 6 sah cure your ca
Patient-So, you're very familiar with
DoetorI'I should say so, I've had it
myself all my life.'-Judge.
Indignant Citizen-''say, youngster,if you
don't put away that toy pistol I'll report
you to the policeman in the next block"
The Youngster-"Huh! You'll git a punch
in de snoot if ye do. He's my dad
Your paw ever whip your" asked
Sure replied swipsey. but I don't
mind it,
He amt never said: Ny son. this hurt.
CONGRATULATIONS
A little girl was asked to write an essay
about man The following was her compo-
eyes to see with hands to feel with: and is
split UP the middle and walks on the split
ends Glasgow Evening Times.
You say you favor, divorce?.
''Wen.'' answered the theatrical mana
ger. Il don't exactly say, l favor It, but
If there We're no such thing as divorce,
what would we do for heroines in society
dramas or for actresses to play the parts?"
Washington Star.
81 should like to know" asked the par
ent who had son in need of some fur
Their education, what is the course at your
college2"
and all that sort of thing, you know, ao-
sent mindedly replied the president of the
Observation-Disclosures Press.
Reads the Same Both waysT"G. o g: P;
Grand Old Party" ''P. O. q. Post Onice
Graft. Life
Madge!"Nenie SAYS she is twen twenty suI,. -
Marjorie-''Yes , twenty-four marked down
from thirty-nine:i
rs Teddy popular among the postal ser
mot bit They say he has given them
an awful Payne. Harvard Lampoon
"a street car killed IS sheep Sunday"
yes, but all the end seat hogs are still
alive."-Cincinnati Commercial-Tribune.
do you believe in reincarnation?' said
the man with dark glasses
Il don't know" answered Mr.. Cumrox
mother and the girls always look after the
floral decorations. Washington Star.
Miss Bragg-"And when he gave me the
ring he said: There is only one woman in
the world worthy to wear this diamond,
and that's you thought that very nat
Miss speitz-..Yes. they do say that frni-
tation is the sincerest fattery. '-Phiadel-
p1hia Press.
Mr.. Haysede-"I see by your. advertise
ments that you're going to issue some
more stock What's that for?'
| oil President-'What for? Why. my
coed Fellow we've earned so much money
I IN the mast six months that we're obliged
/ to have more stock to pay dividends on in
order to get rid of it-"-Puck-
mo. Mr. wooster" said the frigid maid
with the imported complexion. lit can
never be. I'm satisfied I would not make
a good wife for poor man: 81,
reioifled the young man, but you will un-
| dorftedlv make a poor wife for some good
| rnan.''-Chicago Daily News.
when Mildred returned from Europe
she had to pay out all the money she had
saved on her trip in order to get her new
| dresses through the custom house.
THAT must have made her mad.
"0h no ii didn't The. custom house
officer said they were the handsomest
dresses he had seen that month-"-Cincin-
natl Commercial Tribune
you say that French editor was wound
YES Just as he was turning to fire his
foot slipped and he sprained his ankle =
Washington Star.
Mrs. Ganey-I really must have some
new stockings.
not long ago what's the matter with
'ii Mrs. cauev-oh! they're really not fit to
be Philadelphia Press