davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-05
MODERN FABLES BY GEORGE AIDE.
The Modern Fable of the Unsympahec Parent Who Turned
 t sS st Down Three Different Varieties. s% sS SE
BY GEORGE ADE-copyrlgh 1903. oy

he-end of the Outfit beaten to a Pulp. Nearly every Woman knows more than her Husband, but it helps some if he has enough Gray Matter to enable him to chip in now and then, if only to give her tho right Cues. But 30 years would be a long Time to sit at one end of the Dining-Room Table, feeling about the size of Roach l have known several specimens of the Victim who marries the Woman who is going to lead him on and on. She leads him on and on, until he begins to Blow and then she usually goes on and on with something wearing a White Necktie and an Alpaca Coat. If I were you, should marry some one of about my own Mental Cali bre. Of course, you may have to hunt long time, but when you locate her you can tell that she Is the Right Kind. Any one who will agree to Marry you is in your Class and you can gamle on that"
 'I have tried the Innocent Young Thing, the Sophisticated Soubrette and the Cultured Club Girl, and you kick on all of them," said Bertrand.
 "They are all Nice Girls" said Mir. Flappingdale. Let's wait un- til We spot one who has something coming to her and then we will put up a Good Joke on her"
 MORAL: It is Wise Father That Tumbles to his own Son.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-05

Tn the early stages of their history all the older colleges, now risen to the com prehensive educational stature and de- yelopment of universities, were intended to be and were establishments whose primary object was to train young men for the church. The studies they pre- scribed, their life and tone, were all di- rected toward that end. To them, of course, went young men in pursuit of the highest knowledge that could be inn parted who had other careers in view, such as the law and medicine. Some few also there were, the sons of wealthy par ents, who sought the honors of these in- stitutions purely for mental culture and it may be with some vague idea that they might be called to a public career, in which event they should find themselves equipped to deal with the highest and most intricate problems of legislation and government. But the number of this class of students was very small in compar- ison with those who were resolved to be- come the religious guides and teachers of their generation.
 Foremost among colleges of this char acter were Yale and Princeton. Each of them was really a great divinity school, the aim of which was to educate the young men who went to them that the different theological beliefs ideas and principles they were instituted to propa- gate and perpetuate should have advo- cates and champions who could do stall wart battle for the faith that was in them Scores of other colleges were founded from time to time in different parts of the country, and, as in the case of the two great institutions specially Inamed for the sake of illustration, re- igion was the corner stone on which they were reared All of them did their work well. From their halls went forth a great army of divines, learned, elo-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-05

every Change of the Moon he would begin to act more or less Dippy and cut out the Office alto- gether and go Girl-Hunting in his cream-eolored Chariot with one Horse hitched in front of the other one. Then the head of the Works would have to call him in and put some Cracked Ice on him and get him cooled down.
 The first one to lay him out and have him Fluttering was 90- pounder about six weeks from the Nursery. The cold-blooded Guvnor begged him not to rob the Cradle and wanted to know something about her Knowledge of House. keeping, which is invariably Stiff Jolt for Loves Young Dream. While Bertrand was waiting for a Chance to elope with the Bud, a New Show came to Town and there dipped across the Horizon of his French Young Life a Hurrah Soubrette who wore Holes in the Stage every Evening doing very refined Coon Number.
 From the moment when he looked up at her and saw that she had taken notice of his Presence on Earth, he passed into a Sweet Trance from which he did not fully Awake until the Troupe left Town, when he found himself watching the Red Light disappear around the Curve and realized that he had played his Violets on the Wrong Number.
 The Busy Lover always goes from one Extreme to another, so the next Crack out of the Box what does Brash Bertie do but get himself all worked up to Tenn perature of 104 over the kind that is known as Terribly Bright. The one he was determined to Marry, unless somebody got out an ln- junction, sat around in an off color kind of a sad, Mother Hub bard makeup and handed out Bril- liant Conversation that was good enough to be taken down in Short Hand and put right into Book. She threw her Search-Light on the helpless Bertrand and dazzled him to a Fare-ye-well. She got him into a Turkish Corner and told him of the Yearnings of her Soul and all about her Empty Life and how she had groped for an Affinity, and al- though he muffed a good many of her Points and was clear of the Ground most of the Time, he real ized that he was in the Presence of one who could take him by the Hand and show him lot of Things that he had never been wise to, as yet. So he wanted to marry her and sit around all Day with his Head on her Shoulder and have her talk Copy, worth about cents 8 N ord.
 Father noticed that he was off his Feed and looking wild out of the Eyes, so he called him in and wanted to know the name of the New One.
 "Cut it out" said he, when he had learned the Horrible Truth. Home is not a Lecture Bureau I don't blame any Man for marry ing Woman who has got the In- tellectual Bulge on him. In these Days of Thursday Afternoon Clubs and Reading Circles. it's Cheap Grade of Wife who hasn't got the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-05

XN NCE there was long kOJ headed Father who had
 taken the Junior into the Downtown Office and was trying to eradicate the Greek and Latin from his System.
 The Junior was a lovely Chap whose Clothes came to about twice his Salary. He resembled the smooth-faced Hero of a Richard Harding Davis $150 Book. By keeping his Hair neatly gummed down and wearing the right shape of Collar, likewise yamping a few tender Chords on the Piano and holding up his end in a light weight Conversation, he managed to elbow his Way into the Front Row of that Select Division of the Human Race known as the Landed Gentry, because they get Landed so often.
 Bertrand Flappindale was the Name of this particular Confection. Tn Our Set he was known as Bertie and among the Employees at the Shop he was known as Bluff. Bert's Pathway in Life was so nicely fabricated and every one was so awfully Nice to him that after a while he felt reasonably Certain that the Earth and the Fullness thereof had been dished up espe- cially for his Benefit and he could cancel the Order any time that he saw fit.
 Flappingdale, Senior, had never smoked Egyptian Cigarettes and attended Junior Proms during his Incubator Period He had been too busy trying to make the Meal Tickets last from one Saturday Night to another. The only Time he got real Lungy was when he told how he used to work for Six a Week and plant $100 a Year in the Building and Loan Association. It had been many Years since they took his Boiled Dinners away from him and made him eat Artichokes, but he was still Farmer at Heart. And when they threw him into the long-tailed Regalia with the misfit Tie, he had Yap stencilled all over himself.
 You may take one of these self made Luminaries and wean him away from his Pie and rub him with Silk Underwear for years, but you cannot iron the Lines of Rug ged Character from his Front Piece nor separate him from the Homely Doctrines that were called to his Attention by means of a Hickory Cad some forty years earlier in the Game.
 Consequently, the elder Flap pingdale did not hit it off to any large Extent with Bertie's Friends, most of whom had their Names al- ready set up in the Society Col umn 365 Days in the Year, but not one of them could have figured per cent Discount, unless he had taken Day off. They did not care for Business, but Business never seemed to Languish much on that Account.
 One of the Hard Jobs that Fate had mapped out for Flappingdale, Senior, was to prevent his blue eyed Offspring from being abduct- ed and snaked away to the Altar. The Trouble was that Bertie wAntsd to be Abducted. About
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-05
The King Snakes Prowess.

From McClure's.
 The most relentless exterminator of rep tiles is member of the family itself-the beautiful, 1.-the, yellow and black king snake, the friend of man and the avowed enemy of anything that creeps or crawls, regardless of size or poison fang. A na- tive of our own south, the king snake Is between five and eight feet long and no thicker around than a mans thumb. Built in every muscle and bone for speed and tremendous constructing power, there is not another snake on earth that can withstand his assault He is immune to the poison of the cobra and of the rat tier alike. and the strength of a thirty foot python has no terrors for him. With in five minutes from the opening of the fight the king snake could kill the big gest python that ever lived. Ferocious as the little constructor Is toward his own kind. toward man he Is friendly. and tries to escape when met afield.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-05
Pianos the Flood Ruined.
be Kansas CIty Journal.

From the Kansas City Journal
 A reporter at Topeka dnds that 312 pianos were destroyed in the North To- peka food If these instruments had an average value of $500 the total would amount to s93. .G0O One thing is certain, not a single piano which passed through the flood will ever be used again. Pianos are commonly regarded as of strong and substantial construction. To look at those which passed through the Topeka flood one would conclude that they were as fragile as a house of cards. Their wood work is swelled, bulged and split. Their veneering has peeled off like paper from wet wall. Their internals are warped out of all semblance to an ordinary machine They have been thrown out in the streets without an exception, to be hauled away with other rubbish.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-05
Colleges and Churches.
BY THE REV. HENRY BURTON, D. D.

quent, zealous. who, amid prfvation ana suffering, at the risk of life itself, sowed the seed of the religious fruitage which Is blossomng all over the republic today. Had 1t not been for this high intellectual preparation in the early days and the spirit of self-sacrifce that accompanied it. the chances are that from a religious point of view the great majority of us might be living in a spiritual darkness as dense as it is in the foreign regions into which the missionary societies are sending the torchlghts of Christianity.
 But in the growth of what is named or misnamed civilization, the old relations that subsisted between the churches and the great colleges have been swept away. There has been a divorce. so to speak, and the colleges have long been boasting that they are at length emancipated from the bonds by which they were bound and can work out in their own way the great problems that confront them. It may be that they are right; that the principles which once animated them will tend to the betterment of hu- manity. but the experiment Is still on trial, and the result thus far cannot be said to be wholly favorable to the college side of the contention. 1 have said that divorce had taken place. Not only that, there has been a marriage. Religion was ever poor and portionless and she had been discarded, in favor of commercialism, riding in the golden chariot and scatter ing bounties that dwarf the most splen- did gifts which kings, paraments or congresses ever bestowed. Driven in ig- nominy out of the great institutions, she Is now compelled to find shelter in the number halls of learning whose names pale before the plutocratic radiance of their more aristocratic sisters
 
 Tn the one volume which Christianity holds in supreme reverence we may read the words: By their fruits ye shall know them" Putting to this test the great uni versity of Yale. once the citadel of New England evangelicism. we find that among the list of graduates this year the num-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-05
JULY EXCURSION TO BALTIMORE.

The Seaboard Air Line railway has been selected as the official route for Blr- mlngham Elks to the grand session to be held in Baltimore, Md. July 2l-23 and an- nounces remarkably low rate of s23.2J for the round trip. The Birmingham lodge Baltimore cldb) will leave Birmingham July IS at G:10 a. m. and go by way of Atlanta. Norfolk, Old Point Comfort. Vr- ginia Beach. thence by palatial steamer of the Bay Line up the Chesapeake Bay
 Tickets good returning until August D.
 Parties contemplating the. trip will please call on or address John T. Glover. presi- dent Baltimore club. Jefferson County Savings Bank building. or William E. Clements. T. P. A.. or R. c. Hicks. Com mercia Agent. seaboard Air Line rail- way, Woodward building. city. 7-1-1St
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-05
ED. E. WILLIAMS .Man1qsr
Result of German Elections.

From the Tablet.
 There is still salvation for the govern ment. and 1t al stands for in German life. but the road to safety Is the historic road which passes Canossa. The Social ists, in spite of their millions of votes. are not likely to command more than s5 out of 397 votes. The government may yet find salvation If they learn of the sweet uses of advresity. The chances that the Jesuits will shortly be allowed to return to Prussia seem considerable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-05
A Hard Summer Before Bryan.

From the Atlanta Journal.
 With the octopus doing business at the same old stand, John D. Rockefeller still experimenting Sunday-schoois and Gro yer Cleveland giving out interviews. we really don't see how we can let William Jennings off for a vacation this summer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-05

The people of Birmingham are enjoying the excellent service furnished by the new baggage department of the Harris Transfer Go. Call phones 1851
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-01-17
LEGAL AFFAIRS.

The Committee on Legal Affairs will
give a public hearing in it's room at tht
State House in Augusta.
WEDNESDAY. JAN. q, 1903, at p. M
No. 81. On an act regulating the sale oil
exchange of mortgaged personal property
WEDNESDAY, JAN. %, 1903, at 2 P. M
No. IS. On an act tic amend section TWEEN
ty-four of Chapter one hundred and two
Public Laws of 1891, as amended by Chap
ter 267, Public Laws of 1893, relating &c
providing for the printing and distribut-
dng ballots at the public expense and reg
ulating voting for State and City cleo.
tions
THURSDAY, JAN. 20. 1898, at P. M
No. s.. On an act to enable women pay
ing taxes to vote in municipal elections.
No 81. On an act to repeal section fifty
of Chapter eighty of the Revised Stat
utes. relating to service of civil precepts
No 81. On an act additional to Chapter
So of the Revised Statutes relating to tel
THURSDAY, FEB. 5, 1908, at 2 P. NJ
No IS. On an act to amend section lSt
of Chapter of the Revised Statutes re-
lating to the sale of real estate for the
non-payment of taxes.
No. So. On an act to abolish the Bureau
of Industrial and Labor Statistics.
No co. On an act to amend section IN
Of Chapter of the Revised Statutes a.
now amended relating to redemption OF
real estate sold for non-payment OF taxes
No 81. On an act to establish the wal
do Municipal Court.
THURSDAY, JAN. q. 1903. at 2 2. M
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-01-17
The New Missouri Senator.

During his prominence in national
politics, Mr. Bryan has never had a
close friend or ardent champion in the
upper branch of Congress. Several
times it has been asserted that he had
senatorial ambitions of his own, which
has seemed not unlikely, but if this
were so the people of Nebraska have
interposed by the election of a Republic
can Legislature. The Democratic SEN
ators have generally supported him on
the stump and at the polls, but never
with great enthusiasm. In many cases
it has been with marked reluctance.
He was a leader who thrust himself
upon them, rather than one of their
own choosing.
But now, when Bryan's political
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-01-17
Last Years Financial Record.

The year 1902 was a record breaker
in the financial history of the United
States. Both the aggregate money
supply in the country and the per
capita of the cash in active circulation
was greater than ever before. In no
previous year did the government ever
own SO much gold, have such a large
gold reserve in the treasury, or have SO
much gold in circulation among the
people. There was large increase in
the number of national banks and in
the amount of their cash reserves. The
loans by the banks of New York, which
is becoming the worlds, as we'll as our
country's, financial center, were great
er than in any previous year. and the
same is true of their deposits.
the report of the director of the mint
that all records were surpassed in the
actual production of the yellow metal
,, in the United States. The output for
1902 figures up close to $82,000000, while
the silver output, commercial value
was $31,000,0O0. This is the highest
point ever touched for gold in this
country. The silver production has
often been surpassed, though in recent
years there has not been much of a
variation from the figures of 1902. II
| is as to the gold output that the coun-
try will have special reason to felicitate
itself. The highest point reached
when the California production was at
it's maximum was in 1866, when the
country's output was s53,5OO,0OO, but
that was nearly all from California
Then there was decline, which
brought the production down to $780,
| 100000 in 1883, after which came the in
crease largely from Alaskan develop
ment. which has sent the total for 1907
up to So, 100000
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-01-17
AFTER TWENTY YEARS.
The Story Of Mrs. Maxwell Of Waits.
field.
Kept a Prisoner in Her House for
Years. How She Secured Her Free.
dom.

For over twenty years / was af-
ficted with rheumatism and, in addi-
ton to that, a trouble which only wom-
en- can have" says Mrs. Thomas Max
well of Waitsfield, VT. Il was hardly
able to do my work about the house
and could walk but few steps out of
doors. My fingers were growing out
of shape from the rheumatism, my
heart palpitated awfully, my stomach
was so affected that could eat hardly
anything and it panied me horribly.
The female trouble made me almost
crazy. Oftentimes it was so bad that
had to go to bed and very often was
Obliged to neglect my homework en-
tirely.
"A friend in Waterbury was cured OF
a trouble like mine by DIR. Williams
Pink Pills and, upon her recommends
ton, began to take them. Before the
first box was used UP could see that
the pills were helping me and, after
using them faithfully for a while long
er, they entirely cured me. Now can
eat anything want, can sweep and
do my own work and walk mile with
out trouble. There is no rheumatism
whatever in my system and it is all due
to Dr. Williams Pink Pills.
These wonderful vegetable pills have
proved themselves an unfailing specific
not only for affections like those OF
which Mrs. Maxwell was cured but for
all diseases arising from impoverished
blood or shattered nerves. They cure
locomotor ataxia, partial paralysis, st.
Vitus' dance, sciatica, neuralgia, ner-
vous headache, after-effects of the
grip, palpitation of the heart, pale and
sallow compilations and all forms of
weakness. At all druggists, or direct
from DR.. Williams Medicine Co., Sche-
nectady, N. Y, fifty cents per box; six
boxes for two dollars and a half
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-01-17

Won Sternburg, seems to be the true
cosmopolite, or, at least, to have the
making of one in him. He was born
In England his mother being an Eng
lsh woman and his father a German,
and his education was largely in
France though he has Travelled widely
His wife. it almost goes without say
ing, is an American. He has had
diplomatic experience at Washington,
and was a personal friend of President
Roosevelt before the Spanish war.
Upon such a foundation ought to be
built q successful diplomat.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-01-17

The cold blooded shooting of South
Carolina editor by Lieutenant Gov
ernor Tillman of that state is the
legitimate and logical result of Till
manism. The coward who shot down
the unarmed man on the street is the
nephew of Senator Tillman and is the
Individual who so disgraced himself
and Inundated his state in connection
with the presentation of sword to
Lieutenant Jenkins by President
Roosevelt when the latter visited the
state. last year. The exhibitions given
by the elder Tillman in the United
States Senate have been bad enough,
but even mis- performance in trying to
choke a fellow member is outdone by
this attempted murder on the part OF
the nephew. If South Carolina is really
proud of the Tillmans and regards their
actions as a credit to her. she is justi-
fed in keeping them in public life rath-
Ter than in jail. .lAi, A-!lkAls41fl j
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-01-17

| fame and fortunes areat low water mark,
a man has been elected to the Senate
who not only stands very close to
Bryan personally, but who also still en-
dorses the very much discredited
poHces of Organism. This is William
| J. Stone of Missouri who has just been
elected to succeed Senator Vest, the
veteran who will retire at the age of
70 after "a years services in the Senate.
Mr.. Stone is not unknown in public life,
Though his warmest friends would
hardly claim that he has the capacity
or character to make him statesman.
Like Senator Vest, Mr.. Stone is ma
Tive of Kentucky, and he is SIS years of
age. He was member of the House
for six years and has been governor of
Missouri for two terms during which
time the political scandals in that state
have not left him in the position in
which the great Caesar desired his
wife to be. Mr.. Stone is good speaker
and an aggressive enc, and as the close
champion and reputed political heir of
Bryan much interest will attend his
entrance into the Senate. The next
Congress, being the last before a Presi-
Idential campaign, will develop a lot
OF campaign oratory and Mr.. Stone is
not likely to stay in the background.
AS a leading member of the Democratic
national committee and the thick-and-
thin friend of Bryan his utterances and
attitude will be much more closely
watched than are those of most new
members. 1t has often been suggested
that Bryan would be glad to- have the
lMisSourian step into his shoes when he
could no longer wear them, and it may
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-01-17

No. a. On an act relating to the Bar
Harbor Electric Light Company having
the power to extend its lines through the
towns of Mount Desert and fremont.
THURSDAY, JAN. %, 1903, at p. M.
No. Sc. On an act to extend the charter
of tire Wilton Electric Light and Power
Company.
THURSDAY, FEB. S, 1903. at P. NJ.
No 81. On an act to amend Portland
City Charter.
THURSDAY, FEB. S, 1903. at P. NJ:
No So. On an act to amend section 1876 of
Chapter of the Revised Statutes as
amended by section 6 of Chapter ~ OF
Public Laws of 1895, relating to the re-
demption of lands sold for non-payment
of taxes.
BY order of the Legal Affairs Commit
80 JOHN w. MANSON. Secretary.