Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1903-05-30
Peculiarities OF People

A strong current has set in agains
; the suicide of the race and no damnin
can stay it. Chicago introduced an or
dinance providing that landlords VIII
discriminate against children shall b
fined. Then the city OF Cleveland fol
lowed suit with a similar ordinance
When such provisions against race
suicide are generally adopted the nam
mas of numerous children will net b
forced TO put their progeny in the Gem
etery while they go house hunting.
1 But still stronger inducement ha
been offered to reluctant mothers On
ambitious legislator, Mr.. Blumle. dur
ing the recent session of the Pennsyl
sania legislature, introduced in tn,
house AN act to subsidze large fami
lies, and provide gold medals for moth
ers of large families" Mr. Blumle':
prizes would range from $40 to $50 ac'
Icording TO the size of the family. Every
mother of nine kids" would receive {
$50 gold medal, and every seventh sol
or daughter scholarship of $500. One
little Wonan--mother OF two-confides
| TO us her preference; instead of a golt
medal in case she attaius to nine, she
lsays she would rather have state in.
surance against her own suicide.
/ Gold medals are we'll enough in theil
way. They make nice badges for pa
pas coat. But Blume has overlooked
the fact that mammals who have kids
| to wait on and look after don't have
much use for gold medals nor any time
10 admire them. We fancy there are
numerous, things worse needed and
more desirble to the mother of eleven
children than gold medals: e. g., q
fresh COW would come handy in the in
fantile stage of the kids" and when
they get away from frs, principles the
state might substitute for the COW an
;;utomtic machine for making dough-
nuts and pancakes. Just fancy any
housewife trying to fry enough pam
cakes and doughnuts to satisfy eleven
children. Wonder if Blumle ever
tried it?
Then there is the regular periodical
attack of the rnicrobe cpidemics-such
as humps. measles, whooping cough,
scarlet fever. diphtheria and smallpox
Ito consider. Blum'e, evidently
knows little about these things. His
spouse could probably ten a tale of how
she pulled ner eleven children from the
clutches of these viilainous microbes
While her lord was in th5 state legisla-
ture grooming under the burden OF nu
merous weghty bills such as the one he
fathered.
To attempt to enumerate the necessi-
ties for eleven children which outrun
the average mothers rISe would be
ist
Blumle's bill is in the light direction.
Still, there are other importantmeasures
which, if they We're passed by legisla-
lures. might prevent some of the race
from suicide.
l have fully determined that if I am
ever sent to the legislature the first
bill shall introduce viii be n measure
making 1t felony for any one to send
OF receive wedding gifts. / am conf
dent that should the measure pass. gen.
erations yet unborn will rise up to call
me blessed.
Years ago the announcement was
made that wedding gifts had gone out
of vogue and would no longer be toler-
ated. But note pros pective brides still
issue cards. nor do these cards contain
the slightest trace or hint of any no.
tee that no gifts are solicited. On the
it is well understood that the
sole purpose of the cards is the re-
luest not of your presence, but of your
gifts; we meekly submit, and the tyr
annous tax goes on.
Not long ago the writer received a
invitation from young mai
len In an eastern city. Too busy to
give the matter a passing thought, /
put it aside, and it did not occur to my
mind until just three days before the
which made It necessary 20
get my gift in the next mail in order to
each its destination in season. With
,ut even stopping to tie my shoes l
fastened down town on g shopping ex-
petition with about as clear an idea of
, desirable wedding gift as the doctors
have of appendicitis.
After much looking, and being unable |
o reconcile my artistic sense with my
purse, I finally in despair stated my
price limit, and asked the polite lady |
Jerk to assist me in making choice
you know, lot likely to be |
She graciously informed me that by |
ar the incest thing for the money was
cream ladle, and smilingly assured me
hat l needn't worry about its being I
duplicated; there wasn't one chance in |
thousand for such catastrophe.
Now any fool would .snow-if he but |
stopped to think-that since cows have
zone out of use and people depend up
N the manufactured product of the
Jump, nobody can have any earthly
Use for cream ladies. But l now sur
Mise that was precisely the argument
hat induced that merchant to lay in a
took of cream ladies. He reasoned that
because people had no use for one, no
ne would think of sending such a
hing; hence it was a foregone conclu-
ion that yours would be positively the
My one received. / now haven't the
ightest doubt that that constituencies !