The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-01-12
Copyright, 1903.

Hennessy.
1T depinds on who We ar-re,'' said
Mr.. Dooley. In ye'er case it's amy
thing to ate that ye're not goin' to have
f'r dinner or supper. But in tn case iv
tn rest iv this impeeryal raypublic, it's
| tn on'y. amusement they have. IT'S
most iv tn advertisin' in TIL pa-apers.
| 'Tis what We see on tn bill boards. IT'S
tn inspiration iv pothry an art. In a
wurrud, it's oats.
! II whit over to have breakfast New
Years mornin' at Joyces. TIL air was
! sharp an though I'm not much given to
reflectin' on vittles, regardin thin more
as a medium FIR what dhrink 1 take
with thin thin anything else, be TIL
| time got to tn dure was runnin' over
/ in me mind bill iv fare an kind iv
wondhrin' whether 1 wud have ham am
| eggs err liver an bacon, an hopin' I
cud have both. Well we set down at
tn table an I tucked me napkin into
me collar so that I wudden't have to
| chase it down in me shoe if I got
! laughin' at anything funny durin' an
egg, an squared away Are We hum
gry?' says Joyce. Not now,' says l.
| I've on'y been UP two hours an [ don't
think [ cud ate more thin a couple iv
karosene lamps an a bur-rd cage says
l. But I'm liable to be hungry in
few minyts, an says I, "praps 'twud
be JUS as well to look up tn small child
her. 1 says, where they'll be safe 1
says, thinkin' to start tn breakfast with
flow iv spirits, though tn rosy Cawd
iv Day sildom finds me much betther
natured thin mustard plasther
What's ye'er fav'rite breakfast
dish? says Joyce. My what?' says 1.
'Ye'er fav'rite breakfast dish% says he
WHATEVER we've got says I, not to be
thrapped into givin' me suffrage to
anything he didn't have in tn house.
Amy kind iv food so long as it's hot
an hurrid. Thank Hiven have mind
above vittles an don't know half tn
time what I'm ATM says I. But
name prepared food says he. Z like it
fried says l. but l don't mind it
broiled, roasted, stewed, or fricasseed.
In a minyit or two I'll waive tn coolin'
an ate it off tn hoof,' 1 says Well
says he, me fav'rite is Cuff he says.
'P'raps we've seen tn advertisement:
"Out iv tn house wint Luck Joe Cuff
was tn food that made him 60" Moth
er prefers AlmOstfood a scientific prep
aration iv burlaps. 1 used to take Sawd
| had a peerod iv Hungareen, a chin
ically pure dish made iv tn exteeryor
iv bath towels. We all have our little
tastes an enthusyasms in tn matther
iv breakfast foods, depindin' on what
pa apers we read an what bill boards
we've seen iv late. 1 believe Sunny
Jim cud jump higher on Cuff thin on
AlmostfOod, but Mother says she see
sign down On Halsted sthreet that
con-Vinces her she has tn mos stimy-
latin tuck-in. Anyhow she says, T
take great pains to see that nawthin'
is sarved FIR breakfast that amt we'll
advertised an guaranteed pure firm tn
facthry an put up in blue or green pa
per boxes he says. Well says I, give
me tub iv Cuff 1 says. TIL close me
eyes an think iv an egg'
What dye suppose they given me,
Hinnissy! Mush; Mush, be Hivens!
What kind iV mush is this? p says l.
talIin' mouthful. Tt amt mush,' says
Joyce. It's a kind iv scientific oat-
meal says he Science says I, has
exthracted tn meal. Pass tn ink,
says l. What dye want ink f'r?' says
he, Who liver heard iv atm blottin'
paper without ink?' says ]. Ate it,
says he. Give me me hat I says.
Where ARE We goin'? he says. I
Prgot me nose bag l says. can't
ate this off pl2te. Give it to me an
I'll harness mesilf up in Gavin's buggy.
| have mesilf hitched to a post in front
iv tn city hall, an injye me breakfast
I says. 'Ye have a delightful home
here says I. Some day I'm goin' to
| ask We to take me up in tn kitchen
an lave me fork down some hay FIR
TIL chtldher. But now I mus lave we
| SOW yeer prepared OATS I says An
7 tn M1Il1 ne no. n MT
| wrapped mesilf around buckwheat
cakes an sausages till tn cook got
| buckwheat cake makers paralysis.
Il don't know how people come to
have this mad passion FIR oats. Whin
l was boy they was on'y ct be horses
| an good horses rayfused thin. Put
! someWan discovered that tn more We
did to oats, TIL less they tasted an
| that tn less anything tastes, tn
| beither food it is FIR tn race. So all
| over TIL country countless machines
is at wurruk remOvin' tn favor firm
| oats an thurin' thin into breakfast
| food. Breakfast food is all We see in
tn cars an on tn bill boards. In tn
small cities it's tn principal spoort iv
| tn people. Where chldher WansI
| looked on TIL boards to see whin tn
MINSTREL show was comm to town,
| they now watch FIR tn announcement
iv tn new breakfast food. Hogan tol.
NE he was Oul III DeCdtur III Olner
day an they was etghty-siven kinds iv
oats on tn bill iv fare. Is they amy
thing goin' on in this town. he asst 4
drummer. 'Nawthin' ontil tn eighth
whin Oatoono opens, says tn man.
People talk about breakfast food as
they used to talk about bicycles. They
compare an they thraGe. A man with
tn 1903 model iv high gear oats is tn:
| hwy ~ tn neighborhood. All tn saw
| mills has been turned into breakfast
! food facthries an tn rip saw has took
| tn place iv tn miller
Does it do amy harm, say We?
| Meier 2 bit. A country that's goin'
| to be kilt be food is on it's last legs,
anyhow. -Ivry race has it's pecooIy-
arity. With tn Rooshyans it's Pass
tn tallow candles;' with tn Chinese