West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-10-15

Ah~h JNu ihiSuu w iuoutt huS
IT ! come home at o'clock and fell
against the door, and you found me
hugging the railing. and had to be
ooaxed into the house, the inference
is plain"
eyes. your condition last night
accounts for your depressed spirits
to-day. 1t is not going to storm.
Mr.. Bowser. The predictions arc
for clear weather for the next three
or four days to come"
'.My condition last nighte BY the
great horn spoon, but you must
have lost your sensesi Do you
mean to say that 1 come home
drunk"
mo, not exactly drunk.
believe you men folks use a term
called swizzled, don't you. You
werep not drunk, but swizzled.
had'to help you upstairs. I started
to undress you, but you cried out,
'G'way Pm me or I'll knocker
blamed head Off And I went
away"
'pfsWo.woman, you are crazyI"
gasped Mr.. Bowser, who was 20
weak in,the knees that he had to sit
down.
''You did manage to get your
coat off, I believe" she placidly
continued, "but that tired you out,
and when You awoke this morning
you were surprised to find that you
had slept In your hat and shoes and
most ofyour clothing"
IL slept in my hat, did II"
murmured Mr.. Bowser.
yes, and several times before
morning you also talked through
your hat. believe you men folks
make use Of such expression, don't
your When you awoke and realized
the situation, you thought had
been trying to be funny"
s.Mrs. Bowser. you--you didn't
get telegram that your mother was
dead1"
"Oh, no. Mother 10 enjoying
splendid health. Nothing has hap
Pened to suddenly dethrone my
reason, Mr.. Bowser."
"But you are great hand to
dream vivid dreams. Your dreams
are some times so realistic that you
scream out and wake me up"
eyes, / know, but I don't get out
OF bed and go downstairs, and find
you on the steps. 1t dosen't take
me 40 minutes to get upstairs, and
you don't kick over chairs and yell
out that you can lick the whole
police force. 1t is no use TO deny
facts, Mr.. Bowser. You say it was
1880 O'clock"
"I'Tl stake my life on i'll"
"And yet i looked at your watch,
and it had stopped at o:4o o'clock"
Mr.. Bowser simply sat and glared
at her with open mouth.
I'm not complaining" she quietly
continued. cit isn't such dreadful
thing for husband 10 go to club
and come home swizsled and 90 to
bed with his clothes on. expect
that nine out of ten do IL. Only
they shouldn't get up next morning
and lay it on their wives, you know. /"
There was silence for the next
two minutes--silence so thick that 1t
could have been sliced off like cold
ham. Then Mr.. Bowser resumed
his dressing and said.
al am charged with having come
home in an inebriated condition last
night. That charge is made by my
wife. ] do not know what her
object Is, but"
Owe might call it rheumatism, I"
interrupted Mrs. Bowser. s'Rheu-
matism does act that way sometimes,
don't it9y
"Woman, you have reached the
limit--the dead Incl For your sake
l have born much. Hoping that
you would in time settle down into
a loving, sensible wife, have put
up and put up and exercised the
patience of a saint. This ends itis
"Your lawyer will see me some
time during the day, 1 suppose1D
queTied Mrs. Bowser, as he started
to go downstairs.
ole will, he will! He will be In
structed to arrange everything as
smicably as possiblep
At the breakfast table, however,
Mr. Bowser made a lightning change
and suddenly become very Jolly,