Cañon City record., 1903-10-22
fI.AlING OFF
UkNELLCME GUESTS
ORG NATL

10 dinner. 1T al over Will us
WHAT'S the matter. sweetheart?
You reiuei iiDer NY telling you about
| Aunt TristiciaT
The angel oneT
.Oh, no; wish she WERE The other
one-the one who makes long vlsits
and keeps everybody in an u9roar.''
Just like my Uncle Cyrus
The one you call the general?''
"Yes. He'd r,ther fight than eat"
$50 would Aunt Tristicia. shes COM
ing to visit us"
What do you say to playing my I'M
Gle az an ani'dote TO your auntT
Splendid. Invite him at once
And so it was arranged that General
Cyrus Busby should meet Miss Jusu-
cia Crow. and the meeting took place
on the day of their arrival at dinner.
Not word had been said to the one
about the other, and when Eve minutes
before going into the dining room they
were introduced they glared first at
each other. then at their hosts
Uncle Cyrus.- said the nephew. Ell
your glass
Certainly" said the general. Il
drink one glass of wine with every
course. Miss Crow, let me fill yourw"
Fiji mine? Do you suppose l put
such stuff into my mouth! It's poison,
poison to the gentleman and the labor
er. l hate 1t and hate every one who
sets an example by drinking it"
Madam" said the general. moving
nervously in his chair. do you mean to
lege of a social glass just because some
I -
seIfy"
Uncle" interposed the host Il neg
lected to explain that Miss Grow ID
lecturer on Temperance"
The irate gentleman spooned his
soup. growing within himself. but -
pressing further expression Of his feel
tnzs in words
Then Billy told the guests about the
wedding. incidentally mentioning that
the bride would have none but the
Rev. Mr.. Stryker to marry them.
"why didn't you 60 TO a justice Of
the peacer erowled the general IF I
were married forty times I'd never
have one of those parsons to do the
job. They're hypocr1tical. lasy~-
SIR exclaimed Mis- Grow. -Afs
you aware that my father was . min
isterT
Then, madam. II be wantsd to IN
prove his vocation he shouA havs -
come pirate"
This - fnsumefAbler'
~Auntie!' from the nieca.
"Uncie." intefpoeed the host again.
II forgot to explain that Mis- Cr0w b
very religious
-H'mr growled the general, choking
hack another sally and TO show his
spleen guiping down three giasses Of
wine one after another.
Haven't you got something stronger.
boy p he rasped- This Is baby drink.
Let me have some good old rye whisky.
! The older grow the more l fnd there
II nothing 50 valuable as whisky and
tobacco
The devii's weaponsr' hissed NiR
Crow.
They say the devil can quote Scrip
ture- retorted the general.
Miss Crow sat bolt upright. giaret
and munched her food in silence-
Uncle Cy-uA- said the nephew h
order to keen the two enemies in action.
tell Miss c Nv about your battles"
81 consids war barbarous and wick
ed" said the aunt "A soldier In only
another name for murderer"
That is me. ha. har" exclaimed the
uncle viciously We'll. Billy. Miss
Crow wouldn't like to hear much about
war. and l wouldn't infiict II on her
I'll Just tell one little incident that
happened to me in the Wilderness.
You see. the woods were very thick and
the firing very heavy on my men
was walking up and down in front OF
the line. crying like a baby"
Crying interrupted the aunt her
curiosity excited in spite OF herself.
What in the world were you crying
about:'
Crying because l couldn't make the
men frht. What do you supposey'
growled the warrior.
'-oh. | thought you were crying for
your sinful work"
sinful work. madam. What more
glorious
"Devilish. you mean"
The host signaIed the wife. and all
rose. The ladies retired to the drawing
room. and the men smoked.
How lorg is that intolersble mon
ster going to stsyT' asked the aunt.
"oh. Aunt Tristicia. couldn't tell
you. Bh;y says that when be once
takes position anywhere It's impossible
to get him away"
That settles Il. 70 tomorrow.
never met a more unTentlemanhke.
brutal irreverent drinking. tobacco
smoking monster in my life. ] didn't
know you'd married into such . fam
lily"
In the dining room the general asked:
where did you pick up that old hen.