Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1903-12-05

treatment accordingly?
A little awkward sometimes, though
there are pleasant features about it,
as an experience Of mine last fall leads
me to believe. Having nothing better
to do, suppose give it to you.
Smith, my boy" said old Harland
to me, one day-Harland was my EN-
plOyer, and / was head clerk in his
great importing house-"how would
you like to go West, to Chicago, St.
Paul and Omaha, as our agent? I'm
pOrtant business relations in these
localities will Oblige some employee Of
the house to CO. and Hendricks is
down with the rheumatism, and had
as lief be shot as sleep in any bed but
my own. What do you say?"
was delighted, and told the old fell
low so at once. 1 had been in New
York five years, without taking any
other holiday than the law prescribes,
Fourth of July, Christmas, ETC., and
the prospect Of journey made me as
happy as the prospective first pair of
trousers makes four-year-old boy.
In few days it was all settled. I
packed my satchel, received my in
structions, and said goodby to my land
lady, who, as I always paid my bills
promptly, shed tear or two on the
corner of her apron in honor of my
exodus.
Everything went on swimmingly.
The day was lovely, the car new one,
nobody in it was scented with musk,
the conductor was a model, and there
was such pretty young lady seat or
two ahead Of ME, with ravishing hat
and feather, neatly arranged hair, and
eyes as bright as diamonds.
And she had such a coquettish way
Of cutting the pages Of her book, and
presenting her railroad ticket to the
conductor, and asking him in a sweetly
imploring voice IF we were almost
there" that she quite took my fancy,
and resolved that if one of those
inevitable smashes took place such as
we are RECALLED with in first class nov
els, would throw all personal consid-
erations aside and "go for her."
We had nearly reached Rochester,
when two strangers ontored tho car.
They acted like men who were hunting
for something. They took seats just
before me and turned around back to
back, and read their newspapers and
looked at me over the tops Of them.
Now, men generally do not look over
the tops of their newspapers at any.
body but handsome women, and their
persistency made me nervous.
changed my seat, but did not get out OF
range.
went to the smoking car, and my
shadows suddenly developed a taste
for smoking. I returned to the car
had left, and they followed me, and as
I was about to take my seat, one OF
them laid his hand on my shoulder.
"Mr. Smith," said he, "you are my
prisoner"
exhibited a specimen Of the "clear
grit" which President Roosevelt speaks
of, and knocked him down.
Then the other one, and half dozen
of the passengers, pounced upon me
and I was handcuffed, and done for
generally.
Then everybody flocked around me
to remark on what desperate-lookine
criminal / was.
Might have known by his face that
he was O rascal!' said short gentle
man, with bald head. Got regular
hangdOg expression. Was it murder
sir?" to the constable.
mo, it was embezzlement," said that
gentleman.
"Got his employers money, eh?"
Exactly! One Of the most daring
cases we've had on our hands for
long time. But we've worked it ny
successfully, and now we've got him.
"Shockingv' said an elderly woman
in a pink bonnet. "Thank Heaven
never was tied to a man. They're al
ways turning out bad"
"A sad thing" said a sleek-lookini
Individual.
"Will it be State prison" asked
solemn-faced old lady, with bundle
of papers under her arm. Because, j
~ 10, yOuuk man, Will SAVO sASS
tract to read, and profit by"
And she handed me leaf of pape
with the somewhat startling title, 9TH,
Road to Hellv'
l remarked that I had no wish t
learn anything in regard to that route
and that brought up a clerical gentle
man in white choker, who inquired:
young friend, hast thou mother!
II hast!" said 1; ''likewise a grand
mother, two aunts, sixteen cousins, AM
q father-in-law"
Beware" said he. "of sitting in til
seat Of the scOrnful"
He was just going to read me his las
sermon on total depravity, when we al
rived at Rochester, and was take
to the lookup.
I did not like my quarters. 1t wa
impossible for any decent white ma
to like them. Dirty and ill-smellinf
and 1 would have been glad to chang
the bed for any clean pine plank.
1t seemed that I was charged wit
appropriating the funds of one MI
Junius B. Streeter. Of Syracuse, VIII
was represented as my confding en-
ployer, but I had never heard of hir
before, and certainly had not the plea'
ure of being possessed Of any Of hi
funds.
I tried to impress this fact upon b
captors, but they only laughed, and al
sured me that Mr.. Pelham and Nj
Ball. the detectives who had seized mi
had very accurate description Of til
rascally clerk, from Mr.. Streeter hin
self, and my appearance Tailed with
perfectly.
was to have my examination ne1
morning, and then. II I could prov
that l was anybody but John Smitl
l was at liberty to do so.