The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1903-04-02
Uncle Bill DiScOurSeS on Agriculture,
Politics. Etc

MISTER EDIT0R:-I was SO much
pleased at discovering my name in print
some weeks ago that am conStabulated
to pen YOU these few lines which leave
me well and trust they will find you the
same. have been cogitating why the
newspaper writers don't tell us farmers
how to properly conduct of our farms
The advice would cost them nothing and
being so much more intelligenter, it ought
to be did. III wuz advising all at (Which
aint) | would articulate in this here
wise: Plant much of provision craps
and little of the tleecy staple, ct setera
and so forth and SO on, and be sure to add
inflnitum. Reader, might jest as we'll
tell YOU that that last remark IS latin
kase would do no good for me to score
under it, as this paper seems to have
thrown away all its Italians.
Now one of my feller agricultrists is er
planting witch, or wetch, or vetch or
some sich outlandish misnomer. Any
rate, howsomever, he arguties that it Is 4
good crap for this dissection of the
North Atlantic hemisflue. Says ee, ut
is superior to rye as grazing crap, being
a leguminOus plant and one that will en-
pregnate the soil with vast amount OF
fur tility, and, too, besides all that, and
still furthermore, it will reseed itself if
stock be taken offer it at the end of the
season" Jest mentally put that last
statement in Italians rs the Editor don't
use 'em any longer. 1t makes a moughty
good hay and stock is fond of it dry or
green. | obligate that vetch will be to
the low country what clover is to the up
country, great restorator OF the soil
Bermuder and vetch planted together
combined will present good all-the-year-
round pastur.
Well, your Aunt Betsy Ann had to
have a tooth distracted tother day by that
Dental Doctor Hare, and sich a time as
she had. They distract teeth now, you
know, without pain Ito the dentist)-a
moughty smart set they is. After she had
that grinder distracted she was near ex-
tracted, l tell you. But there amt no
flies on Hare (he amt sweet enough.
You bet, he's up-to-date-March 1903. At
the sight of all them many and varied in
strumentalities you feel chill 90 degrees
below zero speeding down your spinal
post at the rate of forty miles half hour.
But I amt sayin word agin Hare
Taint no use, cause his papalarity am
already established. Well, sir, you should
have ought to heered my other half,
what's not the worst part of me, relate
her aversion of the distraction of that old
tooth. The up-to-date retrogressive Den
tai Doctors don't use pullikins now; but,
saws Betsy Ann, he jest took hold of the
thing with some sort of hooked instru-
mentality and lifted it out bodasiously.
Speaking of pyrotecnics, | hope the
money from the sale of them shoats will
keep the wolf from the door of poor
George Vanderbilt for some months to
come at least. If other things at Ashe-
Vile are as high as pork don't marvel
that they call it the Land of the Sky.
Taint none of my business particular,
but I don't suppose anybody will fight
me if rise to denominate the following
ticket:
T. Black, Mayor.
Wardens-Dr. B. D. Bronson, j. l..
Eddleman, DR.. Geo. F. Hair, A. W.
Knight, J. Ii. Armstrong, J. W. Stokes.
These arc all sensible business men,
honest and honorable. Such a council
would be Of power being like a Black
Knight with a Strongarm of ancient
epocks. About poly ticks, Pm the curl
ousest feller you ever seed. I maintain
that for just a pinch of glory you get
little money and much abuse. met my
friend Jones tother day and after l had
gin him the time of day, we fell in to
Eliminating concerning this reproaching
election. He lowed as how variety was
the spice of life and he did hope that there
would be two sets of candy dates in the
field, so that voters could have some
choice. The retiring council have did
we'll, but the new and stupendous con-
glomeration of officers are expected to
give US better lights and possibly water
works, continue the improvement of the
streets and keep sharp eye on the soli-
tary condition of the town. The health
of the inhabitants demand it.
ITO the Printer-If you should find eny
mistakes in this epistol you will please
kindly correck the same.)
Your UNCLE BILL.