davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-03-07
LIMERICK INTELLIGENCE

\ man wrote his cook in y. y.
Whom ne wished to show how TO st. n
AS I'm in Cal.
| can't Tel.
And so | have started t. w.
columbia Jester
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-03-07

HOW He WON HER.
lee cream ne bought his darling
And she ate and ate and ate;
TIL at last her heart she gave him.
To make room for one more plate.
Harvard LampOon.
If the devil should run FOR Office
Some people would think it a crime;
And. just like the rest q them
All o the best O them
He'd still have devil of "a time
Atlanta Constitution.
Nervous party-Nou are sure, driver,
that those horses are perfectly safeI
DriyeI-The horses are safe enough
hut they'r re pesky. anu we can never tell
how safe we are when we're behind EN-.
Harvard Lampo0n.
Will-The life saver has a thankless
task
.Iob-Why, saw man offer him a
dollar yesterday for saving his life.
Will-PerhapS that was ali he thought
it was worth.-Town and Country.
LIMERICK INTELLIGENCE.
man wrote his cook in ~ Y
Whom ne wished to show how to st. n
AS I'm in Cal
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14
RELIABLE MESSENGERS
ED. E. WILLIAMS. Manaq3r
QUAY FOR CHAIRMAN.
Pennsylvanian Wants the Job and
 Roosevelt Wants Him.

From the New Orleans Picayune.
 Philadelphia, June 7.-Matthew Stan ley Quay will be the next chairman of the republican national committee. unless the present plans of Roosevelt. Quay, Platt. Foraker and company miscarry. Quay wants the place, Roosevelt wants Quay to have the place, and the others are will Ing. Quay wants to name the next leg isiature in Pennsylvania to insure his own reelection. He proposes to pass the omnibus statehood bill at any cost. and for these things he Is willing to contrib ute his best efforts toward the election of Theodore Roosevelt to the presidency of the United States
 The suggestion that Quay should suc- ceed Mark Hanna as national chairman came first from Quay himself. who com municated his plans and wishes to Sen ator Penrose, with instructions to have the first public utterance on the subject coming from himself. Roosevelt baked at the proposition. but made no secret of his preference for Quay over Hanna. Senator Lodge is credited with having made the first public mention of Quay's name in connection with the chairman ship, and it Is generally believed here that Lodge was inspired by President Roosevelt to do so.
 Despite outward appearance the rela- tions between President Roosevelt and Senator Hanna, and between Senator Foraker and Senator Hanna, are strained almost to the breaking point. Roosevelt and Foraker are both active in their support of Quay in his ambition to suc- ceed Chairman Hanna, and, if Quay shall fail in his effort, 1t will be the most crushing defeat of his long and strenuous political life.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14
From the New York Journal.

From the New York Journal.
 ''Ninety-nine out of a hundred people don't know a mad dog when they see one. The very symptoms which they be- lleve indicates rabies are the surest tests that dog is not mad
 pr. James McDonough of the Watch ung Kennels, who invited the school children of Montclair, N. J., to visit his dog sanitarium last Saturday and observe from a safe place the actions of a dog in the second and final stage of rabies, made this statement yesterday;
 "In all my experience" said the doc tor. land I have been treating dogs for fifteen years, I have never seen a mad dog froth at the mouth. On the con- trary the mouth of dog that is really rabid Is dry and parched. Neither have I ever seen a dog with rabies rush about like the dogs we read about, with head lowered and eyes bloodshot, snapping and biting at everything with which he comes in contact.
 "The real mad dog seldom attacks un- less he is interfered with have fol- lowed a mad dog over a country road and seen him trot by within two inches of people who were quietly conversing, not knowing that the animal was mad
 The sudden hot weather having revived the fear of mad dogs, an American re- porter visited MT. McDonough at his dog sanitarium in Montcair, and asked him about the prevalence of rabies and the manner in which the danger may be averted.
 Dr. McDonough smiled as he replied:
 "I can speak only for Montclair, and am most positive that there is no epidem- lc of rabies here I don't believe there is a rabid dog In this town. have one dog here in my sanitarium that I am keeping under observation. He is very active and might bite you if you got too close to him; but I don't believe he is mad
 "There is a great popular misconception on the question of rabid dogs. l firmly believe that if the public were properly educated in the observance of dogs the cases of rabies would be fewer than they are at present. And rabies is a rare dis ease at that.
 'I thing it desirable that the sum of in- formation among the people be increased regarding dogs, both for the purpose of insuring greater safety to the people and for the prevention of the slaughter of great number of pets wno do not merit death
 Let me tell you the symptoms of rabies There are two stages or the dis ease. Tn the first the dog is restless and uneasy. He can't keep still He shifts about from one place to another, has a hacking cough and toward rne end of the first stage begins to bite fitfully at the l seat of inoculation, wherever it may ba.
 This stage lasts for from twensy-four to thirty-six hours, during which time l the dog is absolutely harmless Any one who has been educated to observe these symptoms can detect rabies at once in the dog. I have often thought that na- ture has made this provision in order that sufficient warning of the approach of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14

as with many dogs was that he had been overfed and lacked exercise.
 "You ask what l would suggest to pre- vent the spread of rabies. l would do this First, would have passed an or dinance giving the police the right to de- stroy all the CUTS and mongrels that run abroad without homes.
 After that I would educate owners of dogs through the newspapers, to observe the first symptoms of rabies so that they will be able to detect the disease in it's first stages. The dog will do no harm then It will stay right at home and can be destroyed there before any dam age is done"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14
FOR RENT.

From October the second floor of the Fox building, Nineteenth street and Fourth avenue will be for rent. Would prefer renting to one party. The floor consists of seven elegant rooms, 25x25; one draftsman's room, BOX 35; telephone connection from one room to the other; ladies' and gentlemen's toi- let; private bath. Every thing in first-class condition. For further particulars call at Fox Sons & Smith Go.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14
The Man to Beat Roosevelt.

From the Boston Herald.
 MT. Roosevelt cannot be beaten by man of his own stamp of character. If he is to be overcome 1t is by some one as a candidate in opposition who is his anti pode. A sHurrah boysi campaign will not overthrow him. He fills that field suf- fieiently for those who have taste for Presidents of that character, and 1t is. use less to attempt to rival him in it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14
NEW REAL
 ESTATE FIRM
WEY BROS. OF MONTGOMERY OPEN AN OFFICE IN THIS CITY. COME HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Charles A. C. Ivey, of the firm of Ivey Bros of Montgomery has opened a real estate office in this city at room 8. Wilson building The style of the firm will be Ivey Bros. The firm will handle real. estate in the city of Birmingham and Jefferson county They will also handle mineral timber and farm lands, making a speciality of same, Charles A. C. lvey will have charge of this branch of the business. MT. Ivey comes to the city recommended as a gentleman of the high. est character. being connected with the best people of the state. He is a thorough business man and no doubt the firm of 1vey Bros. will at once take front rank among the real estate firms of this city.
 ta t3
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14
Something for Your scrspbook.

Quite a novel advertisement is started in todays issue called Passing Pleas antries. These little gems in jokes are being published at large expense by the well known furniture house of Messrs. Ben NJ Jacobs & Bros, and no doubt will attract attention. especially among the little ones who desire to cut each one out, as. they will appear daily in this paper, and paste them in their scrap books.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14
THE BE-HE-MOTH
Of Holy Writ.

As described in Job xii. 24-25, was proba- ,bly the hippopotamus. which in the time of Job seems to have been found in the Nile below the cataracts, though now 1t Is said to be found only above them. It was an immense animal, the largest known, and very powerful. Dr. Burk- hart's Vegetable Compound is the Be-he- moth of modern times, and it's wonderful power over Rheumatism Catarrh, Con- stipation and diseases of the blood has proven it to be the greatest medical dis covery the world has ever known. 30 days treatment 25c. All druggists.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14

Watch repair a speciality,
 Calhoun, Jewelry Go,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14
EXCURSION RATES TO BOSTON Via the Central of Georgia Railway
 Meeting N. E. Association.

$3655 round trip from Birmingham via Savannah and steamship. including meals and berth aboard ship. Tickets on sale June 2S-30 and July 2, 1903. Through sleeping cars to Savannah. Much less than via any other route. Further in- formation cheerfully furnished by Solon Jacobs. 1921 First avenue. Phone 976.
 6-14-15-17-1 -21- -22-24-25-2S-SO
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14
FOR SALE.

All my household effects, furniture, bedding, rugs, bric-a-b -brac, etc. Call for in spection at the premises, 2219 Highland avenue, Tues day, Wednesday, 18th and l7th. 10 to l2 a. m. and 3 to 6 p. m. Fl. H. Sinnige.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14

Main Office With Western Union Tele- graph Company.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14

For the best light lunch
 with best service at least cost, visit the Dairy Depot, BIO N. 18th St.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-14
Adroit.

From the Yale Record.
 She-Are you fond of tea?
 He-Yes, but I like the next letter bet ter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-25

this natural state the instinct of obedience Is strong in the elephant for the herd ai- ways obeys the leader implicitly. As rule the most powerful tusker Is the ruler. but sometimes strong minded and cunning fe- male dominates the herd .a
 The co0lie elephant Is seen It his best in the immense lumber yards of Rnngoon. where he Is employed in hauling, billing, cutting and stacking teak logs. The docIle beasts are trained to the work when young fin the forests where the trees are felled, or else they are chained to an old elephant which knows he work nhd teaches them.
 In the yards their aptitude in comprehend ing what Is wanted of them Is wonderful. pair of powerful creatures will kneel down one at each end of teak log weighing per haps two tons. At a given signal from their driver they thrust their long tusks under meath the log and, grasplng 1t with their muscular trunks, lift lt and place 1t on top of the stack. One elephant then moves to the end of the stack and carefully adjusts the log with his trunk and head till 1t Is level with tie pile They grow to be as pains taking In doing this accurately as If they had human intelligence.
 An English officer, in an official ,report describing their sngaelty, declared th the elephant actually squlnted along the logs to see If they were, ln military parlance. properly dressed" Heavy logs attached to chains are dragged about the yard by elephants who grip the end of the chain between their teeth Others feed logs to the circular saws, pushing them to the tables with their trunks and feet and lift ing them into place with their trunks: upon which, also, they carry them from one end of the yard to the other
 These faithful and industrious workers have daily rations of immense bundles of twigs and rice, and every Sunday. when they are of duty, are given dose of medi- cine to keep them good tempered. During the heat of midday they rest, and in the torrid season they are protected against sunstroke by huge solah topas made of straw.
 The elephants senses of smell and hear | ing are much more acute than is his sight. | and he possesses n limited language very | expressive to those who understand it.
 When satisfied be makes n shrill whistle with his trunk; sound like .'pr-rut. pr- | rut," made with the mouth signifies alarm or surprise; when tired or hungry or dis
 tressed from any cause-separated from | the herd or overburdencd ntters q
 gruuting sound like 'urmph, armph." 1 The ;rumpetlng noise, which most little folk have heard. Is either an expression of
 ;nger or intense, distressing alarm.
 That the eoolle elephants live to be 15t years old proves that good care and hard l work agree with them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-25

The chromatic top was so named because it can be. used to demonstrate how changes of hue and tone are dependent upon the pro portions of the primary colors contained Ill the ''solar spectrum
 Any boy blessed with a clever pair of hands and m ingenious turn of mind can be- come the possessor of one of these little won ders by carefully following the directions here given.
 The first thing that you will require will be a piece of wood about five and half inches square by one inch thick. Any hard wood Will do but try to obtain a piece of beech or hne-grained mahogany. The wood must be placed on q lathe and turned down 10 circular disk of five inches diameter. Any carpenter will do this, as well as the other work that will have to be done on q lathe, for a triaing compensation.
 Then turn a recess three eighths or an men deep, commencing one-quarter of an inch from the outside edge and leaving central portion protecting of half an inch diameter, as at A Zig. D, which is cross section or the body of the top, the dotted ines repre- senting cross section of the disk before tue turning Is done. A
 The rim of the top DE and ED QFig. D can now be turned down one-eighth Of an inch, which will leave 1t only one-quarter or m inch high, and 1t should then be curved off nicely, as shown at B Zig. D.
 This side of the body of the top can 10" be finished of with sandpaper, as nothing remains to be done to it. The underneath portion, however, must now be put on the lathe and be turned to a graceful curve, as at BIC Zig. 1), leaving Uig. 1) one-quartef l of an inch in diameter. You can now nnisn l off this side, too, with sandpaper. A small 1 hole about one-sixteenth of an inch ln dlaph- ] eter, should be drilled through the center, A to c, as shown by the dotted line In Fig. | 1.
 Now get a small piece of sheet lead, one. i eighth of an inch thick, and. have 1t turned 1 into disk of four and half inches dame ter with a central hole of half an inch dia- meter. The purpose of this circular disk Is to give weight to the top and thus make II shin steadily, which is Il thing very much to he desired This disk is to be placed or l the upper side of the body of the top, and Il if has been turned neatly you will ind that Il will exactly fit the recess which you had -turned in the top Before placing 1t in posi- tiony however, you should glue both the nnner nart of the top and the 'leaden disk l itself so that it will hold fast when once It has been put in place.
 rho body of the top is now complete, and all won require Is a small wooden spindle ! and two carpenters screws. One of the screws should be about four inches long and the other two and half inches.
 The smooth portion of the longer screw should be about two inches long, as In Fig 3 Measure half an inch of the screw iron | where the plain part left of, and then GU off the remainder of the screw, so that you
 whole screw will now be about two and half inches long. Now lay the screw aside while you turn small wooden spindle Gas
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-25
Some puzzles then we did essay, And finally we went away.

..Tbat's not truei' shouted the president the instant the secretary had finished; %Tl not allow those minutes. , Why, Mir. Presidentf' asked Frank de- .smurely.
 It,"
 "Do you mean where he says that you . tried the fruit and cakesr' asked Jennie. 7 ..Yes." ,l+sss as T
 "But didn't youtry them?' ~a That an't the question:" retorted Har- old. Hes no right to say so In the min q ntes." t.ki.
 But didn't say that you ate three times your share" replied Frank, although that would have been true m
 II won't be president any longer! ex- claimed Harold, climbing down oif the om cial barrel on which he had been seateu. "I wonder when Uncle Ralph is going to send that basket of peaches?' remarked VIII with wink. ''Seems to me they ought to be here todayY 4.
 In an instant Harold had forgotten his pro nosed refinement Sure enough!' said he' II expect they'll be along any minute .,,, ..They're here already" said Jennie. un- c,a Raipb told me that we are to look Tor them in our yard"
 aIt's funny he didn't tell me-" Harold ex- claimed. "I'm the president ..IIncle Ralph told me to read this note, continued Jennie ignoring the interruption
 UNCLE RALPHs NOTE. Tn the Centreville Circle:
 Dear Fellow -Members-You VIII all pc ex- nactina that basket of peaches that prom fsed We'll I've sent them down, ana 1T you carefully follow out these directions you VIII fina out where they are.
 Hunt around till you find the smallest uoor in the Burton yard, then walk 10 steps m straIrht line toward the sorrowful tree. Stop here and knock five times on the mead or tne nearest pig you can see. Then youl ne tqiu where they are. uNSLh MALI H'
 .What joke!" exclaimed Harold. .The idea of us having pigs in our yard! said Jennie giggling.
 .Now. never mind. Uncle Ralph ought to know what he's doing and say let s start. It was Frank who spoke, and May, or course, had to add:
 "Yes, let's start"
 So off went the Circle through the Burton gnte Harold we'll in the lead.
 They began, as matter of course, by in- specting all the doors opening on to the yard. There were quite a few to measure, but they soon decided upon the kitchen door as the smallest.
 Well, the 'sorrowful tree will be that weeping willow" Harold asserted, but 1C steps over there brings you to the middle of the grass plot" 8A
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-25
THE BURTON YARD. .43s4l-i

.9r ro+nrned Harold. "Give up the neacbes2p Then, rehectlng that the Ie"ss there were to find them the more he woulu get, he added, "Al right; you two can eom'e back later and see how were get.ins on.
 .syou don't suppose Uncle Ralph Is playing trick. do YOU, Jennie?" he asked, presently.
 well. I saw the peaches with my own eyes," Jennie returned.
 "Wheww
 "But I'm certainly tired looking. guess I'll leave you to find 'em. Harold. By tne war. Uncle Ralph couldn't have meant my battedoor, could he?'
 ..No, guess not,' responded Harold, ms eyes suddenly brlghtening. "Call me if you find them," said Jennie as she turned away. All right the president replied. Now. the battledoor evidently meant more to Harold than he had admitted, for the moment Jennie disappeared he rushed to the place where he had seen Jennie playing with 1t. in the hope of getting a clew. There 1t lay, right on the pathway, and, standing directly over it, Harold gazed eagerly apout him for another ''sorrowful tree.' sSure enoughr he said, presently, me means that pine tree-I guess pine Is just as 'sorrowfuI' as a weeping willow. Then' pacing 10 steps, he gazed about him again.
 There certainly don't seem to De any pigs about here" he muttered, gloomiiy .and how is fellow to rap on pig neau' I'd like to know, without pig in sight! "Wby. of course," he shouted, gieefully, "Tm almost touching it. What stupid l wasp Knock, Knock! Knock Knock! Knock! | Harold stopped to listen. Presently ne | heard a moaning sound; then came ioW' deep voice:
 WHAT DO YOU wANTf" "Whos there?" he asked, breathlessiy. q WON'T TELL YOU!' "Can-can-you-tell-m - where = tne- | peaches-are?"
 HAVE YOU LOOKED IN THE CIR | CLEy
 Moo"
 .THAT'S WHERE THEY ARE" "But-but-aren't they hd-hidden-some- | where?'
 | ASK THE OTHERS" | "Oh-do-do-they knowf" "YES;THEY'RE EATING THEM NOW.'
 "Ohi' gasped Harold as a great light
 dawned upon him, then won't get my
 DON'T YOU OFTEN GET MORE THAN | YOUR SHARET
 The voice was so low and gruff that Harold
 was quite afraid. Ashamed. also, and thor
 oughly humiliated, be turned to run home,
 when he heard Polly's shrill voice from the
 hedge, quite in contrast to the deep tones
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-25
Why The CoOlie Elephant
 Loses His Temper.

Many boys and girls in New York were recently thrilled with horror when they heard that the big elephant in Central Park had been Killed because he had become so i'll tempered that his keepers life was in danger every time he approached the ele- phant 10 give him the necessary care. While this tragedy was still fresh In thelr minds the impression was deepened by the killing of Mandarin. the Bailey elephant, who be- came so ugly during the long tempestuons voyage that 1t was not thought safe to at tempt 10 land him.
 Now, both these great creatures were Tn perfect physical condition, and might have lived for years had not their unnatural ire. idleness more than the confinement, caused
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-25

from the hogshead:
 'Mr. presidentl Mir. President"
 "Come here, Harold" said Frank, you're to give the concluding conundrum, don't you know.''
 "Yes come onl" shouted the rest.
 'It was just little joke that Uncle Ralph has been planning explained Jennie, who now felt quite sorry for the crestfallen Pres ident.
 Here's your share of peaches" added Will, pointing to liberal pile.
 "I-I don't think fought to have any, protested Harold, with suspicious cough. ''I-I didnt-didnt find 'em, you know"
 Nonsense; we've had all we want. Now, give us that conundrum-" Hurry up! Polly wants cracker!'
 'sShut up, Polly" said Jennie. "Go on, Harold"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-25

Whereupon poor Harold propounded the following, which he had carefully prepared the day before;
 THE CONCLUDING CoNUNDRUM. Name the most expensive pig, for Its size, in the country.
 This was a most unfortunate subject so soon after the incident in the garden, but, to the great credit of the Circle, nobody laughed. All, in fact, seemed quite sorry to see their chief in such distress. Presently Will broke the ice by remarkng;
 s'I think farmers generally get seven or eight cents .pougd. for pork, don't they?" s'But this kind of pig Is much more expef-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-25

and be prevented from turning freely.
 The other,scrcT now comes into use. rms is needed for the peg or spindle on which the top spins Cut off the head ana file the re- mainder of the screw to blnntish point, and smooth it on an oil stone until it Is quite polished. Three -eighths of the screw portion Is all that is needed, and you may therefore cut off the remaining portion. Screw It into it's proper place (the hole at C, Fig. D, first, however, placing little hot glue on It
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-01-25

spindle. and pull the string suddenly. The top will reyolye rapidly and with steady motion.
 You now proceed 10 make the color cards which form such an important part of the little contrivance
 Buy few sheets of cardboard (that known as Bristol board Is as good as any, ana, win A compass, strike out as many discs four and a half inches in diameter as yon can get on one sheet. Cut out each disc with sharp penknife, and cut circular hole in the center of each. a very small! fraction, over one-half Inch tn diameter. so that 1t may drop over the central portion A. Fig. 1.
 Now procure some sheets of colored paper,