The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1903-02-22
Diplomats Outwitted

uuceu our government to accompany him
on an expedition against Venezuela which
the whole British empire disapproves of!
Diplomats Outwitted.
The United States has outwitted the
diplomatists We found ourselves in
foolish position We dared not land our
forces and we would not sanction the
kaiser doing so. With England behind
him with its ships the war god would
like to have tested the powers behind the
Monroe Doctrine When it resolved itself
down to dollars and cents, To putting
down in cold figures the Assessment RI
damages, the Washington authorities had
the kaiser on the hip. AS commercial
reighbor they believe in nations paying
debts. When Venezuela agreed as to the
amount due she suddenly became possess
Cd of funds. Where did she set The
money? it is simple enough IL was
cheaper to pay Venezuelas debts ,haR t.
Heat battleship With great good SENSE
American citizens gave her the mnneVIt
was a sort of Come come, Venezuela.
ray the rascals off and let them go about
lnelf business. And so We, England.
Germany and Italy sail home With a few
thousand dollars. We have PLAYED with
! exposed cards; we have gained tho hos
| tillty of South America: we nave NOT
| dared test the Monroe Doctrine, nay We
4 nave proven that we dare not And the
| United States? The government will
take good care that no European nation
VIII gain foothold anywhere near the
| entrance TO the Atlantic-Pacf canal
Whatever its name may be.
England has lost prestige. We All he
lieYe the government hoped to rain
point with Germany behind her that she
LOST when Mr.. Cleveland was President
only the unpopularity of the German al
lance frightened Ii. We now realize thai
the United States will have a navy which
Will resent impertinence in the future
South American republics viii look to the
United States for protection. 1t will be
accorded With full authority on the Mon
roe Doctrine. They will look to her for
funds and loans and should she go collect
ing with a shotgun she viii take possess
sion by virtue Of the Monroe Doctrine
1t Is the most extraordinary blanket
mortgage that one nation ever pulled over
hemisphere. But in view of our I'M
disturbed possession of Canada we will
continue to applaud it. In the little game
of cards played at Washington 1t seems
to me Venezuela bluffed three kings and
soooped the pot"
Have Visitors Spotted
| have just made discovery lnowI-
edge of which may be of considerable val
ue to travellers and tourists 1t is that
there exists among hotel porters on the
continent system of wireless telegrapbv
by which the characteristics of a visitor
In the matter of tips are communicated
from one hotel to another. The medium
OF communication is the hotel label pass
ed on visitors luggage, and the code is
formed by varying the angle at which the
laDel is placed. In one position, The ia
bel means that the guest is worth cultl-
waiting, and may be relied on for liberal
acknowledgements of services received; in
another that special attention bestowed
upon him will be entirely wasted How
Tar this system prevails / cannot say, but
am satisfied that 1t exists Travellers
therefore, who find themselves treated
with studied indifference by the servants
IN the hotels they visit should lose no
time in cleaning the labels off Their
trunks | am making further inquiries
into this subject and hope, in course of
time, to be able to give Information which
will enable my readers to ensure the max
imum of attention at the minimum of
expense by adjusting the labels on their
trunks for themselves.
All the medieval machinery of trial for
high treason was resuscitated to try
Colonel Lynch. He was found guilty.
Then the three judges each put on "A
black cap, and he was solemnly sentenced
TO be hanged; and there is not the slight
est probability of his being hanged How
it reminds one of the queen in "Aice in
Wonderland
of with his head' cried the queen.
What funr' said the Gryphon,
half to itself half to Alice.
What is fun?' said Alice
why, she, said the Gryphon. ITS
all her fancy that; they never executes
nobody, YOU know"
The government, however. have effect
ed the object which they had in view:
they have reintroduced another old-world
custom, just as they did some months
ago, when Lord Russell was tried by his
peers at the house of lords for bigamy.
1t is all part of the revolution backwards
Unfortunately, for the mind of England
to be put back whilst the mind of the
Notwithstanding the British colonies-is
being pushed forward by circumstances
is to seriously handicap this country in
the struggle which is rapidly approaching
immigrants Wanted.
The government of Canada and the
Canadian Pacific railway are making
strenuous and successful efforts to attract
immigrants. They employ the magic lam
tern and the kaleidoscope to attract great
audiences both in the large cities and in
the rural districts. Many who have no
idea of leaving home are attracted by the
pictures The work done has been so
satisfactory so pleasing, so fun of in
formation that the South African attrac-
tons have fallen into the shade. An
seems promising In Canada, while ali
seems very blank in the land of the
Beers. This quiet, steady practical