The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1903-02-04
HUMOROUS.

She-ThiS fur rug iS very Deautiiui,
to what beast does 1t belong? He (can-
didly)-To me.
Sharpe-ls all of Cartons money In
his wife's name? Wheaton-Worse
than that-it's In her pocket.
Wigwag-It makes me hustle to pay
my rent. Harduppe-The question OF
rent keeps me moving, too.
Muggins-Skinnyn says he is prac-
ticlng economy. Buggins-I guess Skin
nynt doesn't require much practice in
that line.
New Boarder-Who Is that making
such n noise because he can't find his
necktle? Landlady-Oh, that Is the
gentleman who dresses so quietly.
Sillcus-So he said was level-head-
ed, eh? Cynicus-I didn't think he put
Il exactly that way. My recollection
is that the expression he used was fiat
headed.
Nell know n girl who accepted an
opal as an engagement ring. Belle
How unluchy. Nell-Yes; wasn't IL!
She found out afterward that It was
only an imitation.
This seems to be pretty live
town." remarked the stranger. "Yes;
worse luck" replied the funereal ma
tive. "Why do you say worse luck?"
"Im an undertaken
Blobbs-Why was the engagement
broken off between Harduppe and Miss
Bjones? Slobbs-I believe they came to
the conclusion that her income wasn't
large enough to support them.
Have you followed the course you
marked out for yourself when n boy?"
mo; I intended to be great financier,
but have never yet been able to get
enough money to practise with"
Dearest" passionately exclaimed
the visiting youth. You have led me to
adore" Good" interrupted a voice
from the stairs, in relieved tones.
Now, | hope you'll open 1t and go
out"
Scribbler-It doesn't require much
imagination or inventive ability to
write a historical novel. Scrawler-
That's where you are wrong. 1t re-
quires a lot of imagination to invent
the historical part.
The Patron-It seems to me that
every great genius should get you to
make his clothes The Tailor (flatter-
ed)-Ah-you think so? The Patron
Yes; they say that a great genius
clothes never fit him.
"Your face seems very familiar to
me-" remarked the man with the red
necktie, as he slapped the stranger on
the back. Indeed" replied the strang-
er. Nov, it's your manner that
seems familiar to me-"
Ida-I don't see how you managed to
hold that Miss Stout up when she was
learning to skate. She Is so corpulent,
you know. Tom-Oh, she seemed quite
small on the ice. Ida-Indeed! Tom
Yes-a mere slip of girl.
The jury brought in verdict Of
mot guilty" The judge said. admon-
ishingly to the prisoner: after this
you ought to keep away from bad COM
pany." Eyes, your honor. You will not
see me here again in a hurry"
young man." said the stern parent,
"do you think you can dress my daugh-
ter?" "Well." replied the suitor, 81 can
keep her in rings" Rings? Do you
think she is going to wear nothing but
rings?' "Well, | only asked for her
hand"
Mr.. Spriggins-I fear you will make
a mistake Hettie, in engaging that
girl. According to her own story, she
has lived in no fewer than ten families
in town within year. Mrs. Spriggins-
That's Just 1t. Think of the inside In
| formation she will be able to impart
about those ten families!
A well-known authoress was once
talking with a dilapidated bachelor,
who retained little but his conceit 1T
is time now" he said, pompously, "for
me to settle down as a married man,
/ but / want so much. I want youth,
health, wealth, of course, beauty,
grace" "Yes," said his fair listener,
sympathetically, you poor man. you
do want them ALL"
4