Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1903-08-27
pIxON,s COVE.

on 3 cove Tor some tlme 1 take ~ LOT
granted that the people may think that
Bill Dooley is dead or has retired to
private life. | don't want anyone TO
think for single moment that | am Ell
Their dead or have retired to private life.
/ have had a wrist strained for one thing
that has kept me from writing, and an
other thing was that / saw in the News
some time ago a piece from Happy Hol-
low signed sleepy Sam" and from his
writing be don't seem to give me any
credit for my statement about the snake |
question, and even went so far as TO say |
he did not believe anything that | said.
don't know. Sleepy Sam and | have |
concluded to keep close home until my |
temper cools down for fear when We I,
meet may give away to the excitement |
Of passion and give him few jolts, in |
the short ribs, aud you all know how
hard it is on old clothes to fight
1t appears that there has been some
discussion going on in the 3rd district
about the no fence law, and it seems
! like the parties were not likely to agree
on the matter, and as had always been
tolerably successful in meddling with
other folks business ! concluded to see
all the parties and try to get them to
compromise their differences by offer
ing to give them rattlesnakes enough
to fence their farms, so concluded to
start on my mission,
After had got we'll into the. 3rd dis
trict found a good many things that
looked green but l did not find any
thing | thought was Beargrass. So /
then commenced to hunt for Old Maid,
and was about to give up in despair
when | saw a boy and asked him if he
could tell me where Old Maid lived.
The boy pointed to house near by and
said that is her standing in the door.
hitched my horse to fence and went
to the house Instead of asking me to
come in she asked what | would have.
told her that | supposed that | had
the honor of addressing Old Maid.
had struck the wrong old maid. She
was not even distant relative of the
Old Maid that l was looking for but
she was an own cousin to the DEVILS
grandmother, as | afterwards learned,
and what she said to me was gods
plenty This is about the way she
spoke: "Who are you calling old
Maid, you old, mutton headed, lantern
jawed, knock-kneed, hump-baohed, bow
legged skallewag You are nothing
more or less than scab on the shin
bone of society, carbuncle on the ca
boose of the commonwealth and the
fragments of a red-eyed nothing And
if you are not gone from here before my
big brother comes, who is - feet high
and weighs 800 pounds, will have him
throw you outside so hard that you will
bust to pieces like rotten pumpkin"
stood my ground all right until she
hollered at the top of her voice, Child
rem, turn the dog loose" l then start
ed on a dead run for dear life, taking a
short cut to the nearest place to get out
side by scaling plank fence.
Just as | was goiog over the fence the
dog made a lunge and grabbed me about
the top of the hip, He got good hold
on my coat, pants and hide, so much SC
that thought | would never break him
loose. There was me on one side and
the dog on the otheI, tolerably well
balanced AT last felt his hold break
lose and heard something tear and was
free again. About the time l began tc
. realize that the dog had stopped and
thought l was all right came in contact
with the cook as she was coming out
with bucket of slop for the pigs. She
threw the slop over me and ruined a
fine shirt that had borrowed from one
of my neighbors to wear to make my
trip in. On looking to see what damage
was done to the shirt found that the
dog had completely torn one leg off my
pants and half of the body off, ant
there l was with just one half of my
! pduVo Ou anu III y COdG Idll uOIu Oh dDON'
the pockets and whitewashed with sloI
to boot dropped into the thicket t,
wait until after dark so that l would
not be seen In the condition that wa
in. While in the thicket thought o
my horse that | had left tied to tht
fence and hoped that they would turf
him lose and let him come on after me
WAITED until after dark and then came
out in the road and slipped back to &c
my horse. To my great surprise the,
had moved him and tied him inside
While l was slipping inside to get m.
horse l saw the dog lying in six feet o
( me. Holy Moses! but l was in fix
Luckily started outwith two pack age
Of Dofetchits Love Powders. So
slipped up to the dog and sprinkled hin
with it while he was asleep. Soon tn
dog woke up and followed me home an
we are good friends.
II he ever shows his vicious propensi
ties will have him arrested for high
way robbery, as tho side of my pant
that he tore off was the one that ha