The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-08-02

"Cheems," says Duchess to me de
odder day, as we were strolling up de
AVenoo to give de lads de boxes OF. de
carriages, and de maids on de front
seats, chance to pipe de sure 1t in
style, "Cheems," says she tonne, ras L
tipped wink to fren On box and
smiled at foidy's maid, out of de cor
ner of me mout dat was on de off side
from Duchess, 'sCheems," she says, as
she passed a glad eye to French
shutter, what was On de Snuff of a
bubble dat was putting by, "Cheems,"
says she, fetching a dead swell bow to
me fren de bar-keep, what was out
for an airing wit his steady, "Cheems,"
says Duchess, eff dere was little
more smell of napta here dis would be
near as good as Paris,
"On your way woman" 1 says.
''F'ift Avenoo can lose de Chansey
Lazy in walk. and never know it was
in race. Look at de goils!" 1 says,
DE COILS alone can win out for dis
country over any form neck of woods
dat lies out of DOORS"
Duchess only gives me de esf1oulder
| raise, like she was, saying dat form
coils was good enough for me, seeing
as how 1 married one. So L says, you
was pretty good American when 1
married you, and no gaiety goes wit
dat gas"
Duchess says, "Of soitainty;I was
pretty and 1 was good" and den she
looked tousand miles over me head,
de way she does when she thinks she
has sawed off a horse on me.
De trouble wit French COILS is, dat
dey has de long-distance glad eye.
Honest, when French goil in Paris
gives you de jolly pepper she has a
| look dat is furder off dan Sandy Hook
and any ting furder off is too far
! from de BoWery. When l waste Paris
some of de COILS Duchess gives me a
knock down to passed me out glad
eye-sO Duchess says when she made
a rough house about it-but a taut dey
was tagging mug in de next county,
and I never got wise in time to retoin
de compliment.
But dat isn't what I was going to
| tell you about; as me and Duchess
waltzed up de Avenoo 1 says to her dat
| dere is no use trying to beat dis little
old Island as long as 1t was on top of
| de cart. Duchess said dat de trouble
| was dat New York wouldn't long be
on top of de cart, wit all de tunnels
getting ready to bury de people under
ground.
"Hot air for farmers!" L says.
| mo fear" I says. Deere never won't
| be no tunnels ready, except de loops,
and when dey is ready nobody won't
| ride in en-"
Listen, I'll put you wise on tunnels:
l rode in one in London. Dey is to de
bad! De air in de tunnels is like
when you light a cigarette, and what
de sulphur is boining on de match.
OATS right. It'll do for Londoners,
| what never has no good air down DER
threats. but New Workers won't stand
| for it. Dey'd RAIDER stand up. Any
way, what's de- use getting under
ground till you has long call? Tun-
nels is all right to get to Lonelyville in
time to NOW de grass before de sun
goes down.. but for folks what isn't
farmerS-niti Exon
If you listen to some folks dere isn't
| many New Workers. left and dey is
chasing deirselves under de mo chill
dren" rule.
I wonder dat President Teddy didn't
| knock New York flats when he was
swinging his hammer about dere not
| being enough gold-spoon Riddles
growing up to make Republican voters
| IN de sweet summer Tune DAT 5 10
come? 1t isn't because a mug has
been to school to Harvard dat he
doesn't raise kiddies: it's because de
| flats has put de dead line on kids.
Light airy dog kennels on de roof
with all de comforts Of home for
| poodles. Children. not allowed is de
| way de swell fiat passes out de law
| desc days. OATS, what's putin de
cradle makers out of business. I taut
| it was because de Riddles distoibed de
| janitors' afternoon maps. but Duchess
| tips me straight OATS it's because kid
dies pulls de ears of poodles. dat de
| kiddies is kept in heaven, instead Of in
Harlem.
1 hears Whiskers and Mr.. Paul talk
| ing about it de odder day. and. say,
honest, 1 says to meself dere's so few
| of us left we ought to come high.
ITO be sure" Whiskers was saying,
"dere is few New Workers left. but
| what bodders me to make out is what
New Workers do"
Mostly, dey does de rest of de coun-
| try" says Mr.. Paul.
mot even dat" Whiskers says. eff