The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1903-04-11
Some Good Stories.

Some Good Stories.
In Colorado is small town, which has
the distinction of being away up above
Cripple Creek, as well as 3, POO feet above
sea level
In the month of May, not many years
since, they carried the mail to this town
on snow shoes. a distance of $50 miles.
So YOU see, it is Of some Importance.
It would be important if for no other
reason than that it boasts Justice of the
Peace. and be is as important as any other
functionary of his class. However, he has
a lot of solid horse sense.
A suit was to be tried before him, and |
one of the parties stirred the community |
,sfrom centre to circumpass by sending |
off and importing lawyer.
That case dragged itself out to an I'M
precedented length-and the populace had /
never dreamed that law was SO full OF OBJ \
iections and exceptions, motions, protests,
expostulations and the like, as that lawyer
proved it to be. lie was to them another
wonder of the world.
But there was one thing he couldn /
prolong, and that was the prompt, crisp,
decisive, Judgment for the plaintiff,
that his Honor snapped out as soon as the
trial was fairly over, and almost before.
ssWell, sir, said the lawyer, in tones
of superiority, We viii have to take this
case to higher court.
''You can do that, mister, replied the
magistrate
"And why not, pray ?
"There ain t no higher court, sir. This |
court is thirteen thousand two hundred
feet above the level Of the sea, strand
Tn have you to distinctly understand, sir, |
that it is the highest court in all this broad |
land, sir.
In an Irish farming community lived
certain son of the Green Isle who was par
ticularly fond Of sausage. He was not 1
always careful to observe Friday by re
framing from his fayorite form Of pork.
One Friday the good Father called un-
expectedly while Michael was at dinner
and found his parishioner enjoying hls /
sausage.
Michael, said the priest, 'yua must
not indulge in meat on this day.
Sure, Father, ii 5 not meat I'm eat
ing, it's sausage, replied Michael
''But, Michael, sausage Is meat.
sob, no, yonr reverence sausage L
not meat
'sWell, Michael, Il say no more, but |
| am in need Of arewood, and you may 4
bring me load as penitenee for this.
The next day Michael appeared at the
parochial residence and unlosded a big 4
wagon load Of sawdnst The priest. on
meeting his parishioner, said
Michael, | didn't want any sawdust-
1t was wood wanted.
s'Spre, Father it was wool brought,
replied Michael.
''No il was not; it was sawdust an
swered the Father. getting angry,
But, Father, if sausage Is meat IN
sawdust wood (?
Mrs. C. Jones vas Mortified to discover
that her little 7-year old daughter was
acquiring the habit Of abiding very freely
to the devil and at last she told her de-
terninedly that a repetition Of the Oh
noxious word would bring severe punish
ment. The child knew that her mother
was in earnest, SO she set a seal on her
lips
At last she seemed to have forgotten it
but enc Sunday Mrs. Jones, who had been
too i'll to go to church, asked her if she
could tell what the minister had preached
about in his sermon.
"0b, yes N, she answered. He
preached about our Lord going up into the
mountain and being tempted by-by--by
the gentleman who keeps hell E!
Little Janet has, besides good ape
tite, deyout turn Of mind, and IN her IN
noeent zeal in this direction Is often an
example to the rest Of the family Her
observance of the silent Quaker grace at
the beginning of each meal Is a pretty
thing to look upon, with its spirit Of naive
and trustful thanksgiving
At supper the other evening Janet had
gone through her usual grace; then the
yiands were brought in, and she immedi
ately bowed her little head again in 81
lence
'Why, Janet is saying two gracesr
said her older sister
''Yes, answered. Janet; but when | |
said the first one didn't know We were !
going to have fried chicken
A Christian Scientist, while walking in
the country, came across small boy sit
ting under an apple tree doubled up with
pain.
"My little man, he said, what is the
matter?'
81 ate some green apples, moaned the
boy, s'and oh, how | achel
'sYou don ache, answered the fol
lower Of Mrs Eddy; you only think so.
The boy looked up in establishment at
such statement and then replied in
most positive manner
.sThat's all right; you may think so,
but I've got inside information
81 am sorry to say it, Henry, said
the teacher, kindly, ''but your compost
ton is not worthy of you The rhetoric
is faulty, the logic is weak, the statements
are based upon transformation and the
style is lamentably crude. "
nMy r exclaimed Henry. won't
my dad be angry when | tell him that
"But you can tell him, continued the
teacher, encouragingly, that you did
your very best. -
"Did my bestr replied Henry. "Why,
dad wrote the whole Of it himself
From stevens (oregon) Journal
F. w. Shepard recently told the North |