St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-11-14
He LIKES HoUsEcLEAHIN0.


-IPh1yODOU0AC MAIZE n0M0A ~
/ Comfort I'm = sCatsclysnas Cos
dition Of Thinsss
i People often ask me why smile
and look so happy when ! tell them
that we are cleaning house. Men.
usually take refuge in the club or 10
the cigar store on the corner during
housekeeping time, but always rush
home and enjoy the operation I'M
mensely. / cannot understand why
men dislike housekeeping. To me =
il the happiest period Of the whole
year, writes q funny genius In the
| Chicago Tribune.
In the first place, housekeeping time
gives me an opportunity OF becoming
acquainted with my family. Az other
seasons of the year my daughters are
always In the parlor after dinner with
/ two or three callow youths who sit out
on the stairs and smoke cigarettes
after have gone to bed. and who
make night truly hideous by roaring
In unison song about the good old
summer time" or about Sunshine Will
come again, sweetheart, dear. or
words to that effect. But at house,
cleaning time the callow youths are
| banished. The piano is securely locked
| by the 300 odd books that repose on
its top. The chairs are all at the up-
holsterer's, being Resulted for the next
seasons campaign, and my daughters.
instead of being logged out In decollete
dresses and sitting around engaged In
frivolous conversation, are out In the
one room we have left-the Kitchen
talking to me. They have on old calico
wrappers and towels around their
heads, but they look real good to me,
and we have delightful times eating
dinner of the top of an old dry goods
box, beautifully draped In the morning
newspapers.
During housekeeping time, too.
get rid of so many things Of which It
would otherwise be impossible for me
to divest myself Only this morning
succeeded In dropping a patent coffee
pot into bucket OF scrub water, and
the man who gets paid for whlstlfng.
Wont You Come Home. Bill Bailey :"
around my home during housekeeping
time, while he keeps time to the muSic
with mop, carried 1t away and emp
tied it in the alley. Yesterday / put
a patent stew pan In which they used
to cook "Healthina," and "Chewa-
sponga," into bucket Of .whitewassh
and it was never seen again. II honse-
cleaning this year only lasts long
enough I am certain that can get rid
Of that yowling kitten that my wife
has taken such fancy to. l am now
celebrating as to whether the kitten
shall disappear via the scrub bucket
or the whitewash pail
Housecleaning is also invaluable for
bringing out the latent originality that I
there Is in man. Only this year I 4
have invented fine settles out Of . &
trunk and two Turkish rugs. / made &
. really creditable candelehra, too, out
of three empty beer bottles tied to-
gether with twine OF grocery Packages 4
When the candles are inserted IN my
candelebra and lighted the effect Ii I
truly beautiful.
Another great thing about house.
cleaning is that 1t develops q mans &
muscles, and II 1t only lasted long
enough l am sure that before our L
housekeeping was ended each year !,
would become physical marvel a
have tried great m2nv~of the cor.
respondence schools for muscular de-
ve1opment and gone to all the profes-
sors who stand with one arm raised
glaring sternly at their biceps muscle.
which looks as though it had the 4
humps. None of them did me much
good, and never could go to any of
them more than two or three times.
But housekeeping Is great for the true q
development. II we were to d
clean house every week I know that In y
two months time l would stop Jim
Jeffries or Tom Sharkey or any other
prize fighter in less than six rounds.
Beating the carpet is Job mosE
men dislike. but it's flne fer tn w. =! 81
back and forth on the sfkirs
gives great debility to the kneea
Tumbling downstairs with the parlor
lamp is good for getting ones self used
to hard punishment for I know that
Champion Jim Jeffrfes in his happiest
could never give me such =
knockout wallop on the jaw &C that
lamp does when try to counter with
my right ard keep 1t from kicking me
below the belt. Walking along the han
with large picture OF my wife,s be.
loved mother when young Girl ana
tripping over dish pan full Of euda
also trains ME how to fall easily ana
and am practicipR nov
low to tumble SO that my left foot
will accidentally go through the can-
vas.
like housekeeping, too, becausa
hen am allowed full measure 81 E
liberty. can trapse around the hons.
liter dinner In my old plaid TROUSERS
hat wore in bachelor days. ana
which at other times cause 1 riot Il 81
he family whenever they are broneht "a
orth. can leave my collar on ma 81
brow my coat under the sofa. -
mock my pipe ashes into the Dresden
nina vase and put my slippers &,
he soup tureen. can pile eli tina -.
'illoWs In ono corner Of the dinirs
DOM and loll like q Turkish sultan I
'lotting massacre. can dress =.
arelessly as Zulu, for know lh.4
anybody approaches the nnn.e .. 5 81
make call the signs OF housecleantn-
which surrounds the place will canss s. g
hem to turn and flee. / can caIe. y
essly leave cake Of soap on the fro,,t ID
toop when that tirescme Ra.a.-.