The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-08-09

Y UUU ing you. but me and Duchess calls her Miss Fannie, just de same as always, cept in company, when we calls her Ma'am, dat being Yankee for Missus in French. Little Miss Fannie I calls Riddle, but Duchess has form name whats she calls her-La Petite-what is French for Petite.
 In dis way and dat Pm getting strangle holt on French, and ex- pect to get fall and decision on de langwudge by de time I has to go to Paris to live, what is de pro gramme Duchess has laid out for me old age. Oats why I hate to grow old; and I'll beat de Paris game, if I has to make a halfway trip over de Brooklyn Bridge to do 1t.
 We is living up at our place on de Sound, now, and I has learned Riddle to swim, and learned me [ self how to pull de plug out of a pint, and solve de fizz witout miss ing drop, when MT. Paul's yacht is doing stunts wit her keel out of water, and her rail under. Oats de way he likes to sail. If ever he has to go and try to bring de cup back from Sir Tumis, he'll bring 1t back-or stop dere wit it. Since he won Miss Fannie he has won most everything else in sight, and has took to sail yachts again; us- ing de steam yacht only for gailly- gailly trips when Miss Fannie has parties to entertain. What wit so salt, and Duchess so peppery, sailing and cruising, I'm getting and Whiskers so oily dat if dere was little vinegar aboard we could be mixed up for a salad dressing.
 "Chimmie," says MT. Paul tonne de odder day, i've will go out for a little spin in de toity-footer to- day. Is de hamper packed?"
 "Yes, sir" I says. 'Dere is half dozen bottles and six sand WlcneS Tn IL.
 Don't take up too much room wit de sandwiches" he says, winking at Whiskers. "Will you go wit us, me dear?" he asks Miss Fannie.
 'No tank you, dear" she says. q prefers me daily bat in de bat tub. But when you've had your spin, I'd like you to take us out in de steam yacht. I've invited some young people from de hill for a trip she says.
 So dat was de way we come to take de trip. I was going to tell you about. But foist let me ask you: Remember Wiley Widdy? She's de gailly-gailly goil what is entered for de Whiskers' Stake. Since Mics Fannie married MT. Paul she isn't as leary of Wiley Widdy, as she was when Widdy made a bluff at being in de run ming for MT. Paul himself. I used to think Miss Fannie was shy of Widdy because she didn't fancy her for step-modder, but now I know she was only riding her own race when she used to take de rail away from Widdy. Tings is different now. Duchess says dat Miss Fannie wouldn't mind if Widdy landed Whiskers.
 Oats one of de funniest tings about women-and all tings about em is funny. When Miss Fanny didn't know wedder or not she wanted to marry MT. Paul, dere was no mistake dat she didn't want Widdy to marry him.
 "How's dat?" 1 says to Duchess. whats de system of favorites wit women?" I says. "If Miss Fannie taut she didn't want MT. Paul why wouldn't she let Widdy have him? And if 1t was Whiskers she was protecting den, why is she willing to let Middle raid him now?"
 "It Is of de simple" Duchess says, wit dat cock-sure way wo- men has when dey is putting you wise on who is whose steady, and why, When woman has not de acuuaintance of her heart in a particular case, dere is noting dat so quick decides her mind as anodder woman's."
 "Anodder woman's what?" says l.
 "Anodder woman's mind" says Duchess, wit scorn for me tick bead. "It was not dat Wildly really wanted Mr. Paul. jat she didn't want Miss Fannis married again, and happy enough not to be too careful about her papa"