davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
Dickens as Justice StareIeiEh

One memory of Dickens is indelibly
impressed on my mind. l can recall
the whole scene as if it had happened
yesterday. | cannot have been more
than six or seven years old when my
father and mother took me to one of
his readings at | think, st. James
hall. First he read the death Of Paul
Dombey, which left me in floods of
tears, and next came the trial scene
from ''PickWick." [ shall never for
get my amazement when he assumed
the character of Mr.. Justice Stare
leigh. The face and figure that I knew,
that I had seen on the stage moment
before, seemed to vanish as il by
magic, and there appeared instead a
fat, pOmpous, pursy little man, with a
plump, imbecile face, from which every
vestige Of good temper and cheerful
ness-everything, in fact, except an eX-
preston of self sufficient stupidity
had been removed. The upper lip had
become long and the corners Of the
mouth dropped, the nose was short and
podgy, all the angles of the chin had
gone, the chin itself had receded into
the throat, and the eyes, lately SO hui
morous and human, had become as ma
licious and obstinate as those Of pig.
R. c. Lehman in Chambers Journal.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
Raising a False Issue.

4 story we'll known to lawyers OF the
lAst generation is about the umbrella
case" A man was charged with steal
ing an umbrella, and number of wit
nesses went into the box to testify to
the offense. The counsel for the de-
PENDANT noted that each witness car
ried an umbrella (the time of year was
midsummer, which explains the neces-
sity for these impedimenta). AS a
matter Of fact the prisoner had no de-
Tense to make. The barrister, thrown
on his wits, exclaimed: Gentlemen Of
the jury, did you not notice that each
of the witnesses carried an umbrella
into the box? Why is this, gentlemen?
It is done in order to infect your minds
with the idea of an umbrella, to preiu-
dice the prisoner in your eyes, to raise
"a false ISSUE and l appeal to you
to signify your detestation of this con
certed action by bringing in verdict
Of not guilty" The judge, who i'm
agined that little attention would be
paid to such a plea, took little time and
less pains to sum up the case. The
jury nevertheless brought in verdict
in accordance with the resOurceful bar
rister's wishes.-LOndon News.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
Ibsen'S Gruffness.

In 1891 GeOrg Brandes happened to
be with some friends at Sandwich,
near Christiania, when they heard that
Ibsen was staying at the local hotel.
They decided to invite him to dinner,
but he declined when he was told that
there would be nine persons at the ban
Quet. Il never dine with so large q
party" he said Finally he was per-
suaded to say Yes" but in the mean
time the number Of persons whose re-
quest to be present Brandes could not
possibly refuse had grown to twenty
two. Ibsen was furious when he dis
covered this, but Brandes managed to
get him to the dining room, where, how
ever, the poet looked so forbidding that
champagne had to be served immedi-
ately after the soup to give courage to
the guests. Ibsen acted like bear all
the evening. When one Of the guests.
an actress, remarked that she liked his
roles better than any others he an
swered gruffly: Il do not write any
roles. represent characters, and
never work for any actor or actress"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
Unexpected HumOr.

In my early days | once tried to en-
gage as model big negro who made q
living out Of chewing glass in sundry
barrooms for the entertainment of
those gathered there
Il want to paint you,' l said when
he had taken round the hat after his
performance.
what cullah, boss?" he asked suspi-
ciously.
why, natural color, of course" l re-
piled. Il want to paint your face, you
know"
Yah; Use not taking any, boss" he
said firmly. THE cullah Use got is
good enough for this chile"
l once nearly got hammered for max
ing a colored sketch from life of a very
respectable golf caddie in an attitude of
ease, subsequently adding a street cor
ner as a background and sending it to
an exhibition under the title "a Loaf
err" The man came round to see me in
q violent rage, said he was "a bloomin'
respectable, ign class golf caddie and
10 loafer." and if didn't alter the title
Of that dashed picture he'd either put
his sole tor on to me or jolly we'll bash
me.
Oh, yes; there's a lot of humor about
if you only look for it in places where
you don't expect to find it. = Tom
Browne in Booklovers' Magazine.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
A Bird That's Hard to XIII.

Penguins have an extraordinary
amount Of vitality and are harder to
kill than any ordinary cat. The writer
once had occasion to kill large bird
aboard his ship, the Southern Cross,
and, making use Of the weapon next
his hand. he drove large spike square
~ through the creatures head and fin
ished the operation by mailing it fast to
the deck. That seemed to make the job
very complete, and he went below
decks for dinner. Coming up an hour
later, his establishment was prodigious
on beholding the penguin, head erect.
f1ippers out, Waddling about, apparent
ly without thought of the spike, which
still remained transfiXed in his Uranium.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
The Bee and His Useful Sting.

1t will be surprise to many to learn
that the most important function Of
the bees sting is not stinging, says a
bee raiser. have long been convinced
that the bees put the finishing touches
on their artistic cell work by the dex-
ferrous use Of their stings, and during
this final finishing stage Of the process
of honey making the bees inject mi
mute portion of formic acid into the
honey.
This is in reality the poison Of their
sting. This formic acid gives to honey
it's peculiar flavor and also imparts to
it it's keeping qualities. The sting is
really an exquisitely contrived little
trowel with which the bee finishes off
and caps the cells when they are filed
brimful with honey. While doing this
the fo"mic acid passes from the point
of the sting, and the beautiful work is
finished
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
A Picturesque stntesman

The Ell Dorado Republican gives pic
ture of an early statesman and his pic
turesque attire: When the Hon. David
L. McCabe was elected to the legisla-
ture from Butler county in 1865 and
went to Topeka to be sworn in he as
tonished not only the natives, but ev-
erybOdy else, as he was the most gor-
geously dressed statesman that Kansas
had ever produced. He was very dark,
with long black hair. On his head was
a coonskin cap, the tail Of the coonskin
hanging gracefully down his back. His
coat was made of wolfskins nicely tan
ned and lined with red flannel Six
handsome tails hung from his coat tails
and tapped in the breeze as he mean
dered up to the speakers desk to take
the oath. He wore a spotted doeskin
vest, buckskin knee breeches, hand
sOmely fringed; top boots, gloves made
of beaver skin, watch chain done in
beadWOrk, a flannel shirt with a fam
ing red bandanna pocket handkerchief
around his neck, and it is needless to
say he created a sensation.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
A Curiosity In Nomenclature.

The negroes in the British West In
dian island of Grenada find it very diff
ficult to keep track Of their descent
and their relatives because of a curl
Gus custom they follow in naming
children. The fathers Christian name
is given to the son for his surname
Thus, if a man is named John Jones,
his son may be called James John and
that sons son Robert James and so
Oh to the end Of the chapter. Natural
ly in q few generations families get
into a hopeless muddle, and nobody
knows exactly to whom he is related.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
want your mOustache or beard|
beautiful brown or rich blackp Use
|BUCKINGHAM'S Dye
Pudding. at Beginning OF Dinner.
YTY CTS OF DRUG0ISTs OR R. p HALL CO.. NASHUA.

The custom of serving pudding as the
first course at dinner seems to have in
terested a good many people of our
day. A gentleman from Maine in
forms the writer that it is still the GUS
tom in certain sections Of his state. In
the autobiography of the Adams fami-
1y it is mentioned that at a dinner CIV
en- by the venerable eX-president Of the
United States, at which his grand
children were present, the first course
was Indian pudding, and the little
folks were told that the more pudding
they ate the more beef they could
have. So of course they gorged them
selves on the pudding, and as a con-
sequence they had no appetite for beef
when it was served. Thus were main
tanned the simple and economical meth.
DDS of the fOrefathers. The boys who
came to the city from the country and
later became the successful and
wealthy merchants Of Boston were rails
ed in q most frugal manner. Their
breakfast the year round was of brown
bread and milk and the same for their
supper. The dinner was of baked
beans and pie, rarely any meat.-Bos-
ton Transcript
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
Had to Keen on Building.

The Canadian Magazine has a story
apropos of a building reputed to be
the highest west of Chicago. The pro-
jector found some need Of outside help
in financing his expenses and every
Saturday used to exchange checks with
a friend to pay his building expenses.
At last his friend got tired of these
transactions and said: major, I've had
enough Of your checks. You've got
that building high enough already
Why don't you roof it in?" Il can't af-
ford to put the roof on" said the ma
jor. ''You see, l have contracted to
pay for the material when | get it
rooted in"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
CuriOsities of Plants.

Times at which different plants open
and shut their petals have been investi-
gated, and it is commonly found that
the hour varies according to theamount
of moisture in the air. The main
thing is to protect the pollen from in
vading moisture, and since some plants,
such as the pimpernel, promptly close
their petals on the near approach of
rain they serve as weather glasses.
Some plants seem to believe in short
days work, the pimpernel, for instance,
opening at s in the morning and clos
ing at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, the
goats beard, on the other hand, doing
business from 3 a. N. to 10 d. m.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
The Best Way to Preserve q Body.

There is no other way in which a
body can be preserved SO long. leaving
freezing and mummification out of the
question, as by burial in a lead coffin.
If the receptacle is alright, lack Of
oxygen brings putrefaction almost if
not quite to q pause, and the face of
defunct person may be recognizable
after long period of time. The at
tempts frequently made to destroy
bodies by covering them with lime
usually have the opposite effect pre-
serving them by keeping out the air
London Answers.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
HOw,S This.

We offer One Hundred Dollars Re
ward for any case of Catarrh that cannot
be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. J. Cheney & Co., Profs. Toledo, O
We the undersigned, have known F. J
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe
him perfectly honorable in all business
transactions and financially able to carry
out any obligation made by their firm.
West & Trnax, Wholesale Druggists. To
leno. Ohio.
Walding. Kindan Il Marvin. Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, O.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally
acting directly upon the blood and mn.
cous surfaces of the system. Price 75c
per bottle. Sold by all druggists Tes
tmouials free. Halls Family Pills are
the best.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
suicides on ..Blue Monday

A scientist who has made a study of
suicides has discovered that more wom-
en- commit suicide on Monday than on
any other day of the week.
Monday, "blue Monday" as it has
long been called, is one Of the most
trying days of the week for women
who are housewives, principally be-
cause it is wash day" Breakfast is
usually served earlier than on other
days and more hastily prepared. The
children are early hurried off to school
and dinner is often picked up Blue
Monday" is the one day in the week
when a housewives troubles, hard
work and annoyances seem to come all
at once; hence the significant name
for the first working day of the week.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
Suicide prevented

The startling announcement that a
preventative of suicide had been discov-
cred will interest many. A run down
system, or Dependency. invariably pre-
cede suicide and something has been
found that will prevent that condition
which makes suicide likely. At the first
thought of self destruction take Electric
Btters. 1t being a great tonic and ner.
vine will strengthen the nerves and
build up the system. Its also great
Stomach. Liver and Kidney regulator.
Only so" Satisfaction guaranteed by
Perry & Doty
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
inappropriate Quotations.

The following is q good example or
inappropriate quotations.: A clergyman
appointed to an East End living found
his parish church sadly in need of re-
pair and gave orders for it's renovation.
While this was in hand the idea oc-
Cured to him to visit the mission halls
in connection with it to see what might
be needed there. In one Of them which
was used as a mission chapel he found
a state of indeSCribable filth from end
to end and an accompanying effluvia.
In disgust he raised his eyes toward
the roof and could hardly repress a fit
Of laughter on reading the text stem
ciled on the wall behind the pulpit,
"How dreadful is this placer Another
story is of an old Presbyterian clergy
man who, away on preaching engage
ment, found above the bed on which he
was to sleep the singular advice, "Oc-
cupy till | COme."-LOndOn Chronicle.
PrOpinquity of Now and Then.
'BigglesWorth isn't addicted to drink,
is hep
Addicted? Oh, no. OF course he
takes Il glass now and then"
Il see l must modify my question.
Doesn't Bigglesworth let his now
blend with his then a little too fire.
quently ?"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
Gaining IL Little,

The discouraged arts Sstood off from
his latest work and viewed it with
gloomy face.
There's no use talking about it." he
said morosely. 81 can't paint as we'll as
did ten years ago"
ooh. yes. you cam" said the tried and
honest friend to whom he made the
confession. Its only that your taste
is improving"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
English as She Is PuuCtuated

Medical Journal the troublesome COM
ma is responsible for the following
wonderful animal story:
''The driver having finished milking,
his cow offered to take me into an adj
joining room where the milk was
cooled, saying that while he fetched
the manager I could have look
around"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
His Point of View.

81 wonder why there are no mar
riages in heaven" said the sweet young
thing.
well, heavens heaven. isn't itY
asked the crusty bachelor.-Detroit
Free Press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
A Center of Attraction.

81 shouldn't be surprised if our child
should be great statesman, with eX-
traordinary talents for filibustering,"
said the father.
why, he can't even talk yet" said
the mother.
THAT'S true. He hasn't anything to
say, and yet look at the time and at
tention he can monopolize. Wash
iDgton Star.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
The Death Penalty

A little thing sometimes results in
death. Thus mere scratch, insigniti-
can't cuts or puny boils have paid the
death penalty. 1t is wise to have Buck
lens Arnica Salye ever handy. It's the
best salve on earth and will prevent
fatality, when Burns, Sores, Ulcers and
Piles threaten. Only 25c at Perry Il
Doty.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
Fathers Sh0rtcOming.

''The trouble with father" said the
gilded youth. sis that he has no idea
of the value of money"
'You don't mean to imply that he is
spendthrift?"
mot at all. But he puts his money
away and doesn't appear to have any
appreciation of all the things he might
buy with it. "-EXchange.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
The Difference.

what is the difference between a
woman's whist club and a mans poker
club?"
''Why, i'll one you get home TO din
ner and in the other to breakfast
Detroit Free Press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
Poor Boy.

Your new brother is the eleventh
child in the family, is he not?" asked
the caller.
"Yes, ma'am," said the little girl.
"Haye you named him yet?'
ST think we're going to name him
Jerusalem. That's what papa called
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
Presumptive Evidence.

"But-how do you know he went to
heaven"
"KaZe the mule kicked him that way.
an he hahn never come down yit.'-
Atlanta Constitution.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
The Hundred and Eifty-first Ps


Your Bible. if it is of the regulation
sort, closes the book of Psalms with
the One HNndred and Fiftieth. In the
Greek Bible, however, there is another,
entitled "a psalm of David after he
had slain Goliath" Athanasius praises
it very highly in his Synopsis Of the
Holy Scriptures" 1t was versified by
Apollinarius Alexandrius, A. D. 800,
and Latin translation of it may be
found in the works of Fabricus The
English translation is by Barring Gould,
the we'll known antiquarian:
PSALM CHI.
l. was small among my brethren, and.
growing up in my fathers house. I kept
his sheep.
2. My hands made the organ and my
fingers shaped the psaltery.
8. And who declared unto my Lord. He,
the Lord. he heard all things.
4. He sent his angels and they took me
from my fathers sheep. He anointed
me in mercy from his JUNCTION.
5. Great and goodly are my brethren,
but with sthernGod was not well pleased. 'e
6. went to meet the (gianD stranger.
and he cursed me by all his idols.
Z. But smote off his head with his own
drawn sworn. and I blotted out the re-
prOaCh of Israel.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
The Pity of 1t.

These people who know all about the
stock market and how it is going never
tell you until it is gone.-Chicago Trib-
uQe.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21

Money Is a bottomless sea in which
honor, conscience and truth may be
drowned.-Kozlay.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21

Spend not all you have, believe not
all you hear and tell not all you know.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
,JaneSYillA.

Thomas JOyce's examination came to
an end Friday morning and resulted in
his being held for trial at the next term
of the circuit court, for the murder of
Herman Zimmerman on the morning of
May "a. He was committed to the Rock
county jail without bail by Judge Fifeld
before whom the examination was held
Ernest Bluhen, the principal witness for
the state, in default of $1,000 recogniz-
ance, was also sent to Jail.
At the end of the first week of their
meeting in this city the state BARRIERS
board finds that approximately twenty
eight hundred BARRIERS in the state have
complied with the law regarding the
licensing of those men whose occupation
in life is the removal of supert1uous hir-
suite growths. This number of BARRIERS
have made application in due form to
the board. and as soon as the license
cards and certificates have been printed
the task Of issuing them will begin.
Mr. and Mrs 7 w Frusher of Porter
say they were duped by medicine man
into signing note when they thought
they were signing contract whereby
the medicine man agreed to effect cure
of MIR Frusher or receive no pay If the
cure was effected the doctor was to re-
ceiye 500. The medicine man claimed
to be a member of the medical staff Of
the University Medical Institute of Chi
cago The note was assigned by the in.
stitute through Q W King, president, to
] A Beckwith, who brings suit to recoy-
er the money.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-21
~Loughton.

day in this place. MIR Brictson states
that the Mexico land deal has not yet
fully materialized.
Louis Erdahl, son of Marshal G L Err
dahl, was appointed turnkey at the
county jail by Sheriff McWatty Monday
and commenced upon his duties at once.
Geo r Angel of Madison, who has
been publishing the Madison city direc-
tory for the past fifteen years, is now en-
gagged in compiling a county directory,
of which Stoughton will form a leading
part.
Evidently laboring under the impress
sion that he had killed his wife with a
club, Matt Ellingbo sought to commit
suicide by hanging himself from rafter
in the woodshed back of. his house Fri.
day afternoon about half past 3 o'clock,
and but for the prompt arrival Of Depu-
ty Sheriff W Ell Parish, who united the
rope, would have succeeded.
Marshal G L. Erdahl dropped in at
David Blaser's saloon west of the bridge
last Sunday forenoon without the form
ality Of rapping, and found sixteen men
seated about the tables upon which were
beer bottles and glasses galore. Blaser
appeared before Justice Currier Monday
morning and pleaded guilty to the
charge of keeping his saloon open on
Sunday, for which carelessness he paid
$3.50.
Saturday at high noon by Rev E r
Earle of the Baptist church, at the home
of the brides parents, Mr. and Mrs d D
I Camp, their only daughter, Miss Myrtle
e Camp, to Tiodolf Lidberg of Chicago.
The wedding was attended by ear rela-
tives and few intimate friends. Mr.
and Mrs Lidberg left in the afternoon on
at 4:lO on an extended trip to Europe
and will probably visit relatives of the
groom in Sweden The bride has lived
in Chicago a number of years. The
groom is a native of Sweden and has re-
sided in this country only a few years
He at present holds the position of vice
president Of the Swedish A merican Tel
ephone Company.
At the annual meeting of the Slough
ton Mill Co, on Monday afternoon, 0 o
Forton was elected president, O n Falk,
treasurer, and 0 NJ Turner, secretary. 4
resolution was adopted to the effect that
an electric line be constructed by the
company to connect Stoughton, Cam
bridge and Oregon, providing franchises
can be obtained through these places.
The officers were instructed to apply to
the common council Of this city without
delay for the right to construct, build
and maintain an electric road through
and over the streets and alleys. The
hackers of the enterprise are men Of
financial responsibility and can no doubt
bring it to a successful conclusion if
given some home encouragement. An
abundance of water power can be OBJ
tanned for the plant, which will thereby
be utilized and made profta BILE; much of
it has heretofore gone to waste. The
proposed line will pass through Rock
dale and Utica and be of great benefit to
the two little burgs. The entire line
from Cambridge to Oregon will cover a
distance of % miles. The plant will cost
about $4,000 per mile, Or approximately
one half million dollars. A number of
home capitalists stand ready to subscribe
literally for stock, and undoubtedly
eastern capital will join the promoters.