New-York tribune., 1903-01-23
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

In 1.-THE Conservator.'' a paper which is by no
means as conservative as its name suggests, we
find word which will become very useful II
crochets about food continue to fourish-antisar-
cophagisn. This means one who eats hsh, eggs
and milk as distinguished from the flesh eater
and from the vegetarian. The suggestion OF sar-
cophagus is accidental but infeHcitous.
Things seem to be sadly out of proportion in
Kansas. At the idiot asylum one employe takes takes
go fe,y W eIiar1e SIXTEEN naIefactors But with the
Kansas State Senate it takes four guards or at
tendants for each inmate-(Kansas City Journal
John w Yerkes Commissioner of Internal Reve
nue. tells OF campaigning in Kentucky with an
other stump speaker The latter thought to make
a good impression in the famous distIllery town Of
Owensboro, and in his speech there sounded the
praises of whtskey. why, gentlemen said he,
II have noticed in my reading of history and bios
raphy that all great drank liquor. tell you,
whskey makes men smart" whats that?" said
an old farmer who was noted teetotaller. "Whis-
key makes men smart" reiterated the orator, "and
challenge denial Then" said the farmer,
you'd better get couple of barrels and begin on
it at once"
Forever at im.-Ne;witt-Funny! I always as
own life. There's just one thing she always re-
HenpeckS1 wish / could say that There's lots
of things she always reminds me of.-(Philadelphia
Press.
An Italian bacterioogist announces that he has
made this discovery. his work is not of inestimabe
value Pasteur long ago proved that the victims
of the bites of mad beasts could be treated bene-
hcally The world is waiting impatiently and with
ardent longing. however. for cure for cancer.
That hideous disease still battles the doctors in
every country.
THE LAZY GERMS OPPOSITE.
They've found the germs Of this and that
The germs of that and thls-x
The germs that make us thin or fat
The germs that make US kiss;
The germs that make us fall in love
Their magic microscopes above
The germs that make US work.
The germ of laziness is found
~ Torn rn Topt fTo his oF PaPRH ETstems nss round
"a And d makes ma r us 10 long gafG f0r ceg4ent eesf
That peacefully will lurk
Unless there comes on on mi mischief Itsf bent
The germ Of lazness attacks
Our heads and hands and feet,
And makes a hammock to our backs
With pleasing smile and smirk:
His sole eXertion is to choke
The germ that makes us work
The germ of laziness is found
Now wen be tantalized
Unless were pasteurized.
They'll hold in grasp unkind
And warn not to shirk.
And cry. "Oh. hurry up and find
A germ to make him work.!
John Mitchell told a story recently in the Glover
Club of Philadelphia which of certain
grim hunor Mr. Mitchell in his first suit Of
evening dress He talking about the serious
ness of life, and his story bore out his view. He
said there two sisters, seamstresses. who
lived in little room and earned their bread by
sewing They were young and pretty. but they
seldom laughed; they never wore comely cothes
they did nothing but sit in stopped attitude sew
ing all day and good part of the evening. One
night when she quite worn out with labor,
the Younger said to the older sister, "Oh. dear!
xyisb we were both dead!' The older sisters
mouth took on a grim smile as she returned: BE
stir and work hard. Business before pleasure
The Popular Thing to say.-The sermon was
exceptionally long, and the minister had just
"And now GEAR. brethren" he exclaimed. what
.tnen.F suggested the thoughtless man who
had just walked up.-(Chicago Post
The Paris Health Department has been devoting
its leisure to calculating the number of rats
and mice in the city Not that the statistican has
been counting them. He. in common with all
his kind, has found much easier, though
nossblv not SO trustworthy means OF arriving at a
set of figures; he has simply calculated the
ber of rodents which annually destroyed In the
capitaI These in round numbers. are as follows
SO 600 in the Central Markets: $1,000 in the other
markets 10000 in the abattoirs; $4,000 by the
butchers: 300 900 by the grocers 900 by private
individuals 100000 by the tanners 10000 by rat
catchers, in the sewers, cellars and streets. and
100000 by various posons. Now. If one adds to
these figures the number that shuttle off this NOR
tai coil through old age. crimes. felo de Sc and
other violent deaths say about 10000. one arrives
the somewhat formidable total of 1,720O0O not a
rat less The statistican concludes that
the total number of the petty pests of Paris must
be at least 100000, about per inhabitant
In OIden Days.-Rome burning
Where is Nero?' demanded the ancient Senator
He is playing on the fiddle " answered the guard
Fudge and furyl He should have a hose playing
on the fire. e'-lChicago News