The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1903-09-27
In Lighter Vein.

sumers.
In Lighter Vein.
| the awning.
But, my dear" whispered the young
man, you should not object to my hay-
| ing my arm about you when even the
scenery is setting the example,
rs it?' asked the shy maiden.
Yes, indeed See, there is an arm of
| the bay hugging the shore
"Yes?" she disputed; but the shore
has cape and l have not
1t was the work Of but a moment for
him to rush to the stateroom and get it
for her.-Louisvile Herald.
THE lines busy" replied the wash
lady who was asked to hang out another
hamperful of clothes
They're talking now replied the man
who was asked about his wife and moth
er-in-law
I'm trouble, was the answer when a
man wanted to see an acquaintance who
had lately been married.
mot on this line" replied the Penn.
sylvania conductor when a passenger said
he was bound for heaven.
In minute," replied the smart Aleck
who was asked where were the last sixty
seconds.
Number, please?" said the Utah court
clerk when the prisoner admitted that
he had more than one wife.-Baltimore
American.
Two bright boys outwitted Snowman
who was exhibiting freak here last
week. The boys had no money and when
they returned home and commented or
the exhibition the mother of one asked
them how they gained admission.
"Well," he said 1--WE just walked in
backwards and the man thought we were
going out."-Salisbury Sun.
Prudence Baxter, in Lippincott's, Fe
lates that one morning. as Judge c.. OF
| N County, Virginia, was starting for the
town, he was approached by one of his
negroes, who with more or less confusion
asked
''Massa when yo goes to de Cot house
will yo git me license? rs gwine to be
mar'ed.'
Married, are you, Sam? All right,
called the Judge as he hastily drove off
Arrived at the Court House, he spent a
very busy day and it was not until he was
preparing to leave that he remembered
Sans license and realized that he haC
not been told the name of the brlde-elect
| 1.-The old idiot he never told me who
he wants to marry but, of course it's Lu
cinda; he's always making eyes at her
| So saying he returned to the Court House
| and had the license made out in the name:
If Sam and Lucinda. Sam was the frs!
! to greet him upon his return with the
| inquiry
Cit my license, Nassau
Eyes, Sam, you old fool. You didn't tel
me who you want to marry, but / remem
bered how you're, always hanging around
counting Lucinda and got the license Ill
her name
"Lawd, Nasal exclaimed Sam, "taint
Lucindy. it's Kyarline. what's 1 gwine
ter do, Massa?"
"Well," said the judge. "the only thing
morrow
| ting fur dem hcense?"
Eyes, Sam, a dollar and seventy-five
cents"
Twill anuther license cos anything?'
asked Sam.
| Eyes Sam, dollar and seventy-fivt
cents more replied the Judge.
| After scratching his woody plate for a
few minutes Sam replied
| well, Massa, done axed Kyarline an
she sed Vase but TO de Lawd, dere
amt no dollar an seventy-fve cents
diffunce in dem two niggers, SO I'll jus
take Lucindy.'
The following incident is told of a
popular and wellto-do Thirty
ward bachelor, who is patron of the
| Wagner Institute branch Of the free IL
| brary:
81 am going to the country, Miss
Blank" he said to the young lady at the
desk, "andwant to take a couple of in
| teresting novels, but l can't make up my
mind which two to select. Couldn't you
| help me out?"
81 am afraid my selections might not
| prove interesting to you," replied Miss
Blank
''Just pick out two books for me. and
| I'll guarantee to like them" he rejoined
calamity.
Have you read Barrie's or Reade' S
rovels?" she asked.
''She selected two and handed them to
her spouseless acquaintance, who. after
warmly thanking her for the favor she
had done him, turned UP the backs of the
books and read these titles:
when a Mans Single
cit is Never too Late to Mend."-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
(New York Press.)
man can fool a woman whenever she
wants him to.
What a woman likes about going to Eu
rope is the pain she gives those who cant
go.
Whether a girl has red hair or auburn
hair depends on whether she is yours OF
| somebody else's.
| It's queer what different ideas widower
and widows have about what is good and
what bad luck.