Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1903-09-02

latter meaHS, we Wuy us well try TIE
former for q change
'"4The second day after Joe got set
tied in his little shop he went to q
downtown market and bought f-e
bushels of speckled apples and oranges
and seventeen pounds of stale candy
He intended to sell all that truck AT
regular prices, but in the afternoon
when he was out his wife noticed its
unsound condition and gave it away
to the children of the ncighborhood
With the exception of few cases OF
cholera morbus, which the parents at
tributed to causes other than the gen
erosity of Joe's wife. the youngsters
pulled through without any serious
aches and pains, and from that day
Joe was solid with the old folks.
ga week later several of the men
whose pocketbooks had been spared
many recent raids for stray pennies on
account of the free gorging of thcil
offspring met in the shop under Joe's
store and discussed plans for showing
Joe how much they thought of him
They finally agreed upon way. The
next morning committee Of three
called and told Joe what they proposed
doing.
"'As an evidence of our apprecia'
tion of you,' said the spokesman. we
have decided that all the boys born In
this vicinity during the next two years
shall be called Joseph Webster
"Joe fell over in heap against tho
Swiss cheese. Good Lord! he said.
"Joe's way of taking their announce.
ment did not exactly appeal to tho
committee. You do not seem pleased,
they said.
"'Oh, yes, am,' replied Joe. I am
overcome with emotion. appreciate
your appreciation very much.'
Sand then, even though Joe knew
he was making fool Of himself, bis
natural gratitude and generosity goi
the best of his common sense and he
made another rash promise. 1T Is very
sweet of you to honor me So he said
of course 1 will reciprocate. 81 will
give to the little Joseph Websters a
christening present of,$2 head
"The committee blesse lJoe and went
away. The next day they began to
import kids. Never had Joe seen boys
come to town in such overwhelming
numbers. They arrived in shoals. Just
as soon as people got wind that the
stork was coming round they moved
into that neighborhood just to devil
Joe. But he stood all the imposition
and good-naturedlr gave up n two,
dollar bill at each christening till some
people down on Amsterdam avenue be.
gan to ring in girls on him by calling
them Josepha. Then he thought II
time to kick.
"'No more of this namesake non.
sense for me- he said. I am going to
put stop to it,
"'How?' asked his wife.
"'Nevcr you mind said Joe. I will
fix that all right
"In the afternoon Joe called on q
lawyer named Parks. L want to
change my name,' said Joe.
Parks disapproved, on principle, OF
his clients changing their names
Usually he tried to argue them out OF
the notion. He tried to argue Joe
Webster out Of it.
T why aren't you satisfied with your
name?' he said. Webster is q great
name in history-a name to be proud
of. Best of all. 1t is easily remem.
bered, and nobody need ever lose an
opportunity to do you q favor Oh nc.
count Of being unable to recall your
name
"Webster doubled up his fist as If
lie had half mind to knock Parks
down. 1t was q formidable fist and
the lawyer tlinched. Joe forced q
pacificatory smile. Never mind he
said. You are in no danger. When
you learn the facts you will no longer
insist that the euplfony and the un'
forgetability Of the name Of Webster
are good things
"Then Joe gave Parks the facts
Even though a lawyer. Parks sympa'
thIzed. What do you want to call
yourself?' he asked.
'Melancthon GabriIowithzsl1i.' said
Joe. 4 don't think they will get on to
that without n good deal Of trouble
"'No,' said Parks, they won't, but
I am afraid there are legal difficulties
in the way Of your adopting new
name at present. When did your con
tract to pay the two-dollar christening
bills go into effect?'
"'Eighteen months ago. said Joe.
"It has still half year to run,
said Parks. You are under obligation
to pay the bills for that length OF
time. If you change your name and
try to shirk your responsibility on the
ground that your name is not Webster
but Gabrilowitzski they can bring suit
against you on the ground of taking
a new name while wound up in finan
cial entanglements and can put you
in jail
"'Very WELL said Joe, 1 will 60 to
Jail. Not another cent of christening
money will pay. 1 have already beer!
mulcted for baptismal offerings to d.
small boys, and would rather lie in
jail than set the rest of them up for
life
"Joe got his name changed and paint,
ed a new sign on his windows and
awning. When he began to stand on
his rights the parents of the would-be
Joseph Websters went to law, They
proved. as Parks had prophesied. that
Joe had gained the name OF Gabrilo-
witzski under false representations,
and he was sent to Jail. Fortunately,
his time Is up and he is free again.