The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-02-16

ohm Kendrick Bangs.
his use of the word JUS ''Will you please
EXPLAIN"
with pleasure he replied, removing
his helmet and placing it on the table that
stood between us.
"A very pretty hat said I, taking it
up. and with my pen-knife, surreptitiously
marking it for Identification later, a move
ment which, in his fancied security, he
failed to notice.
Isn't it," he replied, rather becoming,
too, eh?" he added.
Very said I, very becoming-and
good for this climate, presume" I want
ed to add that, in my own experience
only sardines fitted comfortably into tins,
but I refrained. Il can quite conceive,
however, Mein Herr, that you did not
come here to talk of hats, but rather to
discuss more important matters. Pray re-
sumo your explanation"
well, Mr.. Homes" he said, ''to make
a long story short
"And thus prove that you are not .
literary man." put in.
Il beg your PARDON said he.
t'No literary man would make a long
story short, You know I said, lat least
not at present rates Of payment of five
cents a word
"Ah-yes,I didn't quite catch the point
Lohengrin observed. VERY good indeed.
You are certainly regaining your pene-
tration Mr.. Shylock Homes. But to make
la long story short, I am in grievous
trouble. You may remember that I-ah-
deserted my wife within an hour Of our
wedding
Yes" said l. land if you will excuse
me for saying so. with very little reason.
The lady had a right to know whom She
had married..
"Well, whatever the rights Of the case,
she has sued me for divorce on the ground
of desertion, and won her cause and her
claim for alirnony has been allowed by the
courts. Under ordinary circumstances
could pay the alimony, but I am required
by the decree to give her back pay for
something like ten centuries, with inter-
est"
(Which would ruin you even if you We're
| to go back to earth and receive the re-
wards of a New York opera season.
| interjected.
"You have hit the nail on the head"
said Lohengrin. ITO obey the courts I
! must give up all have and a billion more.
Elsa is relentless, and I am ruined unless
some one like yourself helps me out To
| save a pittance for myself. l must resort
to methods which are described as under
handed, yet are not really So
II see your position" said1.
! 1T is horrid one said he. Il have
tried. and tried, and tried to find some
means of escape. What are the ordinary
means of escape? The first is to leave
| the country. We can't do that, here.
The second is to decline to pay. We can't
do that here, where supplementary pro-
ceedings are superseded by summary
punishment, in which vitrol and various
other pleasing penitential coercings are in
vogue The third Is to be robbed of the
means of payment, and plead the inability
| of actual misfortune. This Is the only
possible refuge of the afflicted. I am
willing to give up much for the indis-
erection of my youth, but not everything.
1 must be robbed by some thief who Will
| pay me an income from his profits.
That's an easy proposition. said l.
| "Get hold of some chap like Turpin or
/ Jack Sheppard to rob YOU, with the I'M
derstanding that out of his swag he must
pay YOU back a certain percentage, upon
which you may maintain your position
in society and keep up your racing
aviary.'
"My racing what?'' he demanded
"Aviary,'' said L; most horsemen keep
a stable, Herr LOhengrin. You drive
Ibirds-therefore-"
| 'Oh yes,'' said he. Clever term. But
the scheme isn't as easy as you seem
to think. Mr.. shylock Homes. We have
detectives here who are cleverer than
you think. Messrs. Sleuth. Hawkshaw
& LIE Coz are geniuses of a rare order
indeed he added, with more enthusiasm
than the situation warranted. they are
the cleverest men in their profession that
ever drew the breath. Of life. Singly
omniscent, as a combination they are
invincible Any device 1 in my own poor
way might invent for the sequestration Of
my property would be at their mercy
from the moment Of its inception. No
matter by whom it was stolen, or where
concealed, the eagle eyes of that mar
vellous trio would soon be upon it, and
; should be lost
True" said I, resolved to humor him,
Every true, Herr Lohengrin, why do you
not then retain their services in your
hour of need ?"
THAT had occurred to me- he replied
uneas silly, but the objection Immediately
arose in my mind that the greater the
number Of my advisers the greater the
risk to my secret. Some day Sleuth
: Hawkshaw and LIE Cog might quarrel