Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1903-04-10
A CARD.

poet, modern Ananias aud inevitable
Willie Purciful, who surmIsed and
depicts manifold troubles, hardsbips
and vexations for Harry, and takes
such great pride and pleasure in
presenting them to the public at
large for its kind and worthy con-
sideration-eyen pains which / have
never been lncky(?) enough to have
experienced-such as love affairs.
the agonies of having to be kissed by
all species, sexes and ages, the fam
ing missives that Willie says he is PIN
ing away for. Willie could and would
have been kissed hundreds of times.
but owing to the fact that he is and
always was passionately fond of 25c.
Porto Rico(?) moIasses, and being
necessarily confined to his poetical
duties, never had spare time to comb
or wash his voluptuous moustache.
Naturally he was never troubled
with the beautiful and comely
Cleopatras of the present day. His
many friends are shocked to know
that he has recently become afflicted
with peculiar hallucination, caused,
it is supposed, by overwork of the
brain. He imagines himself second
Nebuchadnezzsr and persists in sub
sisting entirely on grass. 1t will be
vouched for any time by a score of
young people that several Wednesday
nights ago while en- route to the pas-
ture field ne broke away from his Pa
and ran to house where a pound
party was In progress and deliberately
ran around the room on his hands and
feet much to the amusement of the
ladies. His Pa soon led him out
and said he wasn't the least bit
vicious, that he was simply Look
ing for grass. With his 225 pounds
avoirdupois, myl what team he
and Nebuchadnezzar would have
made, and what sight worth seeing
to have looked at Ephriam driving
them to a three-quarter, end-spring
buggy, canyassing for orders for the
"Songs of Solomon" and 1.-THE Lam
entations Of jeremiah"
Willie makes the absurd statement
that Harry lived forty. eight hours
on love and four bananas. If such
could have been the case, l leave it
to the judgment of the CITIZENS
readers, which would have been the
most wholesome and pleasant diet
love and bananas or grass? All de-
ponds on which you are used to, does
1t Willie? His nom de plume con-
trasts vastly with his ayocation.
doesn't it? Instead of "Sailor Lad''
why not use "Tom Pepper" and have
1t copyrighted, for Willie's veracity
has been know to extract the soda
out of pan of biscuits without
cracking the crust. While, this is
polite version of an old gag, never.
theless there is as much truth in it
as there is in his poetry.
He concludes by saying, "It's
thought that Harry would come over
on the Lords side before pea-picking
time" l trust that am already on
His side; and, Willie, if you are not.
come over before it is too late, and let
us tread the straight and narrow way
happily together. Now, Willie, il
fate wills that we shall never meet in
this unfrlendly world again, l hone
we may meet in the spirit land of
eternal rest.
Remember this, omnia verifas
(Most any telephone pole will un-
ravel this for you). Au revoir.
IDLEwILD.
Broun's Store, Va.
THE friendly repartee between
these parties is continued at the per.
sonal request of both. So long as it
10 within moderate bounds and of
reasonable duration we will accede
to the request. At such time as our
Judgment dictates, as with other.
communications. we will assert our
prerogatiye and end Hebron