River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-25

thread.
"Then there was the time Hacka1iah
had the big runaway accident. He
was watering his horses, and stood
right in front of 'em. Some boy or
other sot off a frecracker, and away
the team started.
1.-THE old man = Hackaliah was
comm n then-grabbed the end o.
the wagon tongue and throwed his feet
up around it. There he hung. The
! horses run for two miles, when
they fetched up ag'fn the side OF
stone wall and stopped. But Hacka-
liah Bascom went right on. He sailed
! through the air clear to the middle
of fye-acre lot, and lit on his head.
Now, it wouldn't be natural to eX-
pect that man O his years, after setch
a flight as that, would git up all
tfckled to death, and go to dancin' a
] hornpipe. Mr.. Hackaliah Bascom
didn't git up at all. He laid there TIL
some of his folks went lookin' to see
in what part o. the district he was
found him, and picked him up.
''The top of his head was rammed III
some, and the doctor said the most
likely thing he could do to get Hack
allah on his pins ag'fn was to trePah IT..
So he pricked out piece O. the Skull
and sot an old Mexican silver dollar III
the place. Hackaliah got around III
| about a month as lively as ever.
Zone day he went to town. "hlle
he was there d thunderstorm came up.
HackaIiah Bascom had great way 0.
setting in one o. the big armchalrs on
the tavern stoop, tippin' it back agln
post, an goin' to sleep.
..rbe thunder a n ightnin' didn't pre-
vent him dom this that day he went
to town. and, besides, so Uncle DAVID
Beckendarter says, he had been lucky
in runnin' up ag'in considerable O the
old stuff. He got his chair little too
close to the edge o the stoop, and ID
his sleep his head got 10 rollin over
to one side, and pretty soon the
chair lost its balance and kerplunk!
went Hackaliah to the ground, four
feet below.
THE conclusion knocked the silver
dollar out O. the old chaps topknot,
and it rolled out on the ground. Hack
allah jumped to his feet The first thing
, he saw was the silver dollar. He picked
it up.
sSizzlin' John Snodgrass!' says he.
What a clap that was! Struck the
bank, didn't it?'
"They fixed Hackaliah up all right,
and he gave the dollar to Uncle DaVld
Beckendarter. Uncle David gave it to
me for a birthday present, and I've
had it ever since-but / haven't got 1t
with me-"
The Pochucll chronicler paused, but
no one said word.
"a year ago." he continued, after an
eloouent sigh, "Hackaliah Bascom
made up his mind tibet it would be a
good stroke O. business for him to take
out policy ag'in accidents happenh
IN him. then when the next time come
around for him to have somethin' hap
non TO him he could lay back and draw
S25 a week, and if he got killed, his
folks would get his insurance money.
Gle said there wasn't any sort o
doubt but what when he died 1T q be
OWN to an explosion or COLLISION, or
somethin' o. that sort, and he might
as well make a little somethin' for his
family out of it as not. SO he got a
5000 policy.
"After that he drove the skittishest
horses he could git, but they always
fetched him home safe and sound.
Riusouzer's sawmill was known to
have b'iler that wasn't much safer
than Tohtin' match in powder mill.
HackaIiah Bascom took a great fancy
to settin' in that sawmill day after day
and arguin' politics.
Zone day he didn't so to the mill
for some reason or other, and the bller
busted and killed the sawyer, and LAID
nm for two months two men that
hadn't been nigh the mill before.
"A bridge fell into the creek. so foot
below it. one day jest as Hackaliah Bas-
com drove across it. He got out OF
train at Bullsnip station one day, and
a mile further on the train ran off
the track and smashed the car he was
in all to splinters.
"He went out to shoot chicken one
dav. John Snavley, neighbor,
asked him to let him take the gun and
knock the hen over. Hackaliah hand
ed over the gun. The barrel busted,
and took off four O Snavely's fingers.
"And so it kept goin' all along.
lHackaliah's luck seemed to have
changed entirely. Everything seemed
to go ag'in him, and at last, three weeks
ago. he was took with bilious fever and
died as peaceful as a chlorofOrmed
rabbit.
Eyes. Hackaliah Bascom is dead, my
Uncle David Beckendarter's favorite
brother-in-law, and I'm feelin' mighty
bad about it. Mighty bad, 1 tell you,
Bowed with SORROW
The cash register iingled merrily
over the purchase of a couple of high
balls. The manipulation inspected his
complexion critically in the mirror
among the glassware. Nobody said
word until the man from toward
Pochuck rose, with remark, uttered
with some pepper in it.
I'm feelin' mighty bad about poor.
old Hackaliah Bascom," said he, ''but
Teller might be bowed down with
sorrow till he doubled up like lack
1 knife, by cats. and nobody around
/ here'd pour anything on TO it to drown
! it,"
! Then he strobe out and went Po-
chuckward-N. Y. Sun.