The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1903-12-10

riages. on the installment plan, would
ment had he expected to live. or the
funeral director" into fits had that
sadly elaborate functionary dreamed
that he was selling goods to would-be
corpse slightly ahead of the usual date.
At last, the time having arrived when
/ he felt that he could shake off this
| mortal coil" with an after effect that
would simply drive Agnes wild, and the
| hypnotic beard possibly into being
shaved out of sight as well as mind.
Smldt got out his morphine capsules
one fine, warm night, intending when
morning dawned that though his body
might be caught inside the bed, his soul,
as far as he might have any say so about
| 1t, should be lowering invisibly about
to see what would happen lowering in
Vlslbly! The phrase so tickled his
| fancy tSat he lay down to chuckle pen
slVeiy over various but vivid imagin-
lngs, and presently reached for the NOR
/ phlne, or thought he did. Then-then-
! When he woke up the gas was out
and through an open window the moon
/ light was streaming, Evidently he was
/ not dead, and yet the capsules on the
| table were gone Could he have taken
them in fit of somnabulism? A vague,
/ terrible thrill caused him to jump up,
breathe deeply, then dejectedly light
| the gas to hunt for more morphine. He
/ felt perpleXed mystifed, then
a-a-a-h- h-h!u
The coffin-nO, burial casket, it was
/ also GONE! Likewise the shroud. Like
wise the gloves, Grape, orders for flow
ers, and everything else he had for
weeks patiently starved and stinted
himself to secure and half pay for in
order to afford the one grand, CHASTITY
! luxury. He tottered to the open win
| dow and found stepladder and paint
scarified windOw-sill, with nothing be-
yond but silence, vacancy and the moon.
Burglars! The truth sickened him.
And to steal, of all things his burial out
! fit. Well. it was valuable enough. And
now, all was gOne-even to the NOR
! phine. Dare he call out, make himself
as ridiculous in life as he had hoped to
be glorious in death? Hardly. Dare
he die and be huddled anyhow into
cheap coffin and a common dirt grave,
followed by debts and cursings instead
of the remorseful tears of-he staggered
back and fell on the bed. He dared
neither call out nor die. He must con-
| tinue to live. And so he did.
Tremblingly he sought out the
funeral director" with infinite prom
ises of gradual payment on his lips, but
was met smilingly by that imposing
| parsonage, who held forth bill re-
ceipted in full of all demands against
| Hamlet Smidt, OR HIS HEIRS, and
! signed by
90 X. Seymour, NJ. D."
The successful rival! Smidt felt
worse than ever Was the hypnotic
beard to pursue him in com,niseration
as well as triumph through life in the
place of Agnes remorse in death?
! The maddening mystery was less I'M
endurable than the fancied humiliation.
But even unexpected solvency has GER
tain venal consultations. Hamlet took
| his summer vacation, sought to hide his
misery in Neptunes arms, and found,
just a little too far out-Agnes She
was trying vainly, it would seem, to es-
cape from that salty old Lothario's
| clutch and regain the life lines. Smidt
saw mis- revenge i'll sight at last; mortal
sight at that. After a strenuous strug-
gle with fierce undertow he succeeded
in bringing her into water where one
receding wave left them, momentarily,
just enough breath for utterance
Pardon the liberty M-m-Mrs. SIS
Seymour" he painted. Had any one
else been near, l would not have in
truded-"
Young man." interrupted Agnes, Sc
verely, you certainly do need a guar
dian. Cousin Dolly Seymour says you
do-ah!-there they come now"
Isn't that Dolly Barrison and y-your
husband" stammered poor Smidt, his
mental self-heroics oozing away.
"Mine!" screamed Agnes, as the cou-
pie in question waved from the sand
dunes on their way back from the links.
You poor, dear, silly thing! Dolly and
the doctor were married yesterday; |
was bridesmaid. 1t was very private.
almost an elopement, owing to Uncle
Barrison's opposition. If you had not
stayed so persistently away; with such
horribly morbid notions, too, you would
have understood and you might have
been the doctors best man. I-we-he
wanted you, and a"
She was blushing. Here a last feeble
reach from Neptune splashed over them.
Smidt seized his opportunity to save
Agnes again. If in the excitement he
kissed and held her closely for a mo-
ment, surely much may be forgiven
when Love, having at last kicked Folly
out Of the way, comes to his own.
even in a heart so simple as that of
Hamlet Smidt.
Later on they sought the doctor for
masculine enlightenment.
81 say, Seymour; those burglars, you
know How the deuce came you to"
THAT was your fiancee's idea en-
tirely. In helping Dolly and myself.
she had to do so secretly, owing to old
Mr.. Barrisons opposition. The mys-
| terry proved too much for you but Miss
Agnes, with the prescience of love, said