davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28
REPUBLICAN SATIRE.
.ha a, I,o1is Glo, 4bemocra

From the St. Louis Glo' tDemoerat
 Everything else has' >en tried on Judge Parker. and now the New York democrats propose to subject him to love feast test. Cleveland will sit at the head of the table and Hill will preside at the coffee urn. Cochran. Murphy and all of the Tammany favorites will appear in characteristic stunts. The experiment may serve to break the ice, in measure, but 1t can hardly be expected to result In anything like general thaw Judge Parker was not built on the porous plan.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28
Dangerous Material.

From the Chicago News.
 silas-Say Cy was that a gunmetal watch you bought up in town?
 Cyrus-Yes and it was too much like a gun.
 Silas-How so?
 Cyrus-It went off the other day and I haven't heard of it since.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28
Explained.

From the Philadelphia Press
 How do you like your new minister?"
 He's very young, and not a very good speaker. His delivery is very peculiar. l do not understand it at al''
 Nobody could solve his delivery at college. either He was the crack pitcher of the nine, you know
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28
The Three Hundred.
,om Inc New York Sun.

From the New York Sun
 Leonidas was holding the pass.
 ''If we were only the Four Hundred in- stead of the Three Hundred" he walled, they could never break through"
 fingered at his lack of foresight, the hero of Thermopylae fought to the bitter end.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New York Press.
 The shortest road the world travels is the road to the poor house.
 man can have his legs cut off and walk on crutches. but when he gets mar ried he cannot be repaired.
 The only thing that is prouder than { youth whc takes his first shave is thu school girl who first discovers it.
 If is easier for d camel to go througl the eve of d needle than for one to g, through the pockets of a rich man.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28
Obvious Use.

From the Chicago Tribune.
 Teacher-The reindeer. you know, Is a domestic animal that inhabits the polar regions, where there is so much snow. Can any one in the class tell me what the reindeer Is used forP
 Tommy Tucker (raisng his hand)- Yes'm For pullin snow blows.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28
He Knew.

] From Judge. " And his last end is worse than his first " quoted the Sunday school teacher. What does this refer to, chidren?"
 "A hornet" promptly answered the freckled boy who had just joined the class
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28
A BIT OF A LAUGH
DrY.

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
 Our friend Lushman has reformed since his marriage.
 Why he told me he still had his beer steins at the house, and his wife kept them full for him.
 50 she does-full of temperance fracts 'l
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

It now seems that bold, bad men roped Schwab into the shipbuiding trust He was serving as a lamb at the time, if we let him tell the story
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

The hot air~ of the Tulloeh charges has struck in. and even MT. Payne is satisfied that something irregular has occurred in his department
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Experiments in the navy show that dogs can be safely blown from torpedo tubes but none of our jolly tars are anX- ious to make the trip even if it is the only hope for safety
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Pineapple's Christmas festival will be told round the world. Towns that do not want similar notoriety should beware of similar frolcs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Yale professors are getting to be as eccentric as those of Chicago. One of the former is now serving the Waldorf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Governor Jeff Davis of Arkansas is keeping the peace this being the Christi mas season-peace on earth. good will to men.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28
IRREvokARLE.

From the Chicago Tribune
 Nothing can ever undo the fact that the plug hat has been pressed down on the brow of Mir Bryan
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Golden Rule Jones has started up Golden Rule trust which promises to be an example for all combines.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

New Yorlis church census shows that religion to the women of the family.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

The man behind the gun is not always a hero, especially if the gun is a six shooter and the man has designs upon a bank
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

There Is no danger of crinolin becom- ing popular again unless some foolish papers gives Dame Fashion a lip.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

The republicans want Wall street con tributions. but they do not want to be seen in the company of the givers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

All New York is breathing easier now since "Parsifar' scored such a success. Even clothes have been forgotten.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Birmingham was puzzled by four prob lem plays last week and is now ready for a change On with the musical com
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Poor King Peter continues in distress.'' That unhappy monarch should throw up his job and go on the stage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Secretary Hitchcock is taking a little holiday after playing the pipe for num- Der of his Indian agents to dance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Captain Dreyfus rejects all compro- mises, He wants full justice or none at all and he proposes to have the one or the other
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Bradstreets says nothing about the necltie trade but all know. nevertheless, that it will rule dull for a month at least
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Japan is endeavorng to buttress China and Psi An. Someone is always trying to save China and Psi An.
 
 Senator Hale calls the administration work in Panama "previous Some call it plain stealing.
 The worst charge brought against flats is that they are childless, especially at Christmas time.
 Don't blame the local weather man. This weather was tumbed in on him from Medicine Hat
 --s------- Il was great pity that the 1selin baby could not "blow in some of his Christi mas presents.
 Columbia needs some one to hold her from rushing into a suicidal fracas with Uncle Sam.
 The best people of Pineapple were out numbered by its hotheads, who were on froic bent
 The children of Dowes Zion must be vaccinated or stay out of chicago's pub lie schools.
 NIr. schwab declines to stand for the shipbuilding deal except as an. innocent bystander
 The turkey has had it's day but Madam Hen is still doing business at a fancy figure.
 Wage cuts are no guarantee of corre- spending cuts in the prices of finished goods.
 President Harper feels now that Christ mas should come oftener than once a year.
 "Parsifar' at any rate is free from sex tets of any sort Give Wagner credit for that
 Great Britain has recognized Panama. and the young republic begins to feel its oats.
 Illinois should send Speaker Cannon and Senator Culom to the next beauty show.
 -..- The VogneFs and Herr COnreid are con ducting rival places of amusement. The Pineapple anarchists kindled fire that ravaged friend and foe alike. Russia and Japan will probably put off their ultimatums to 1904
 -s~t---- Pineapple has moved up or down into the Beilevile Ills, class.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

The latest way for housemaids to cap ture burglars is low tackle The ex- pertinent has been successfully tried in New York.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

The worst charge brought against flats is that they are childless, especially at Christmas time
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

omers who go in and out the
 store and it's q great study. nee of the different trends of mind I took occasion to ob-
 the different persons pur-
 to come in was a young so- who fiuttered up to the soda CT and bought a glass of coco
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Japan is endeavoring to buttress China and Psi An. Someone is always trying to save China and Psi An.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Don't blame the local weather man. This weather was tumbed in on him from Medicine Hat
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Senator Hale calls the administration work in Panama previous. Some call it plain stealing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

II was d great pity that the Iselin baby could not "blow in some of his Christi mas presents.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28
Human Nature at the Drug Store.

"A drug store Is the best place to study human nature" said prominent com mercial man as he left the Woodward :. t1,l,i ia.r
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Columbia needs some one to hold her from rushing into a suicidal fraeas with Unce Sam
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

The Vogners and Herr Conreid are con dueting rival places of amusement.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

The Pineapple anarchists kindled a fire that ravaged friend and foe alike.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

The best people of Pineapple were out numbered by its hotheads, who were on froic bent
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

The children of Dowie's Zion must be vaecinated or stay out of Chcagos pub Lie schools
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Illinois should send Speaker Cannon and Senator Cnllom to the next beauty show
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Nlr. Schwab declines to stand for the shipbuilding deal except as an. innocent bystander
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Great Britain has recognized Panama, and the young republic begins to feel it's oats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

The turkey has had its day, but Madam Hen is still doing business at a fancy figure
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Pineapple has moved up or down into the Beileville. Ills, class.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Russia and Japan will probably put off their utimatums to 1904
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

Wage cuts are no guarantee of corre- spending cuts in the prices of finished goods.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

"Parsifar' at any rate is free from sex tets of any sort. Give Wagner credit for that
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

President Harper feels now that Christ mas should come oftener than once
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

c. N. Mitcham. professor of geology and mine engineering of the Alabama Poly technic Institute is stopping at the Flor
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-28

w. S Gilbert, W. D. Bankston ana k. L. O'Nea1, Jr.. are the only authorlzeo traveling representative of The Age Herald in it's circulation department
St. Tammany farmer., 1903-05-02
Skeletons in Hulk

Manila, April l3 The warship
Reina Christina. flagship Of Admiral
Monteio, which was sunk by Admir-
al Dewey in Manila Bay, Aoated ard
beached yesterday. The skeletons
OF eighty If her crew were found
in the hulk.
One skeletone vidently was tina.
if all officer, for it had a sword BY
its side. There are fifteen shell
holes in the hull of the Reina Chris
tina, one made by an eigh,-ipcL
gun and the other small. The
main injection valve is missing,
showing the ship was scu:,led when
Admirali Montejo abandoned her.
The hull is in fair condition
Capt. Albert r. Couden, com
manding the naval station at Cavtie,
took charge of the remains Of the
Spanish sailors, expressing pur-
pose to give them an American
navai funeral. The Spanish resi-
dents are eager to ship the remains
to Spain and it is suggested that
the United States transport Sum
mer convey them to Spain by way
Of the Suez Canal in June
A wrecking company is endeavor-
ing to raise all the sunken Spanish
warsbips.
St. Tammany farmer., 1903-05-02
In the Fav West.

Tommy" SAID Tommy's father,
as he caught the boy counting . roll
Of bills, "where'd you git that
money?''
''Playin' poker.' answered the
boy.
Tommy" said the old man,
sternly, ''you follow me out back
o. the house"
'But dad
''Ain't l told you never to tackle
no game Of chance til! YOU"
''But this want no game Of
chance" protested ,L. boy. "Why.
dad, l run acrosa a couple O. ten
derfeet from the East that didn't
know no more about poker than to
buck az in a pat hand in a jack pot
with only pair o. tens
The old man had picked up \
strap, but now lie dropped 1t.
Whats that? he asked"
"Fact. dad" replied the boy.
"An' on the very next deal one of
'em had three queens an le, me bluff
him out on ace high"
Didn't know NO more about
playin' poker :han that?" asked the
old man,
"They shore didn't dad''
The old man began to show signs
of excitement
Haven't they left town yet,
Tommy p he asked.
mo, dad"
"Well. this here poker is 4 bad
thing fer boys, an | don't stand
fer it no how" announced the old
man. "but if you'll jest steer your
poor old dad up ag'in' them suck
ers. Tommy, We won't bother with
the strap this time. Somebody
ought to get that money that can
take care Of it, fer It, would be a
cryin' shame to leave it with two
sech careless fellers as that -
Brooklyn Eagle.
St. Tammany farmer., 1903-05-02
A FARMER STRAIcHTENEp OUT.

A man living on afa:m near here came
in short time ago completely doubled
up with rheumatism. handed him a
bottle of Cham berlain's Pain Balm and
told him to use it freely and If not satis-
fed after using it he n iced not pay cent
Tor it. says c. P. Rayder, Of Pa:tens
Mills. N. Y. "a few days later lie walk
ed into the store as straight as string
ard handed me dollar saying, give M
another bottle of Chal, berlnin's Pain
Balm. wasn't it in the house all the
time. for it cured me-" For sale by v.
u. Frederick, Druggist.
St. Tammany farmer., 1903-05-02

The awful question Of the full
church has been solved in the En-
gli<h village Of Hunton, where the
church is crowded every Sunday.
A former rector left q certain sum
in his will which was to be invested
and the income divided among the
six families who attended church
the most regula- during the year.
St. Tammany farmer., 1903-05-02

Mr.. Jose ph Pominville, OF Saltwater,
Mimi, after having spent over $4,000
with the best doctors for stomach t:ouble
without relief, was advised by his drug
gist MI. .iiex. Richard, to try a box Of
Ghamberlain,, Stomach and Liver Tab.
let's. He di,l SO, and is wei ma, to-
day. II Ht,oubled with Indigestion, bad
taste in the III onti', lack CT appetite or
c ,nstipation, give these tablets a trial.
aud yon are certain 10 be mcre than
pleased with the result. For sale at 25
cents per box, by Y. H. Frederick, drug
gist.
St. Tammany farmer., 1903-05-02

PatieEce-Thal bli Nice does
everything properly, doesn't he?
Patrlce-What now? "Why, lie
went to our picnic and he accident
ally sat in cuslard pie; and Go
you know bis trousers jnst matched
the custard "-Younkers States
man,
St. Tammany farmer., 1903-05-02

Mark Twain advocates an old
time, six day steamboat race on the
Mississippi as an attraction for the
st. Louis fair. He would have the
boats start simultaneously from
New Orleans ana finish at st.
Louis.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25

IMMIGRANTS are coming into the southwest as they have never come before, and many thous- ands of them are settling in the fruit and agricultural regions of the Ozarks, and will make pro- ductive acres of lands that have never been made to yield to cul- tivation before. They will com- pei three or four blades of grass to grow where none grew before and will undoubtedly put many thousands of acres to orchards, and make the southwestern coun- try one of the foremost sections of the United States. All the real wealth comes from the soil, and when barren acres are made productive it is all so much clear gain and the country is enriched thereby. There cannot be too many tillers of the soil where there is an abundance of land do- ing nothing, and there are yet millions of acres in the Ozark country that are not producing anything for want of cultivation. If these untitled acres and the thousands of people of the north and east who are wanting homes of their own can be brought to- gether, great good will surely re- suit. Every industrious new conner advances the interest of the land of his adoption. The southwestern country and north west Arkansas especially holds out royal welcome to all home seekers and investors who may come within her gates.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25
DemOnstr ,tiOn of what Chamber lain's Collie, Cholera and Diar.
 rhOea Remedy Can Do.

'One of our customers, a high ly respected citizen of this place, had been for ten years a sufferer from chronic diarrhoea," writes Walden & Martin, druggists, ol Enterprise, Ala. "He had used various patent preparations and been treated by physicians with . out any permanent benefit. A few months ago he commenced taking Chamberlains CoIic, Chol- era and Diarrhoea Remedy and in a short time was entirely cured. Many citizens of En : terprise who know the gentleman will testify to the truthfulness of this statement.' For sale by Green Forest Drug Go.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25

SAYS the Practical Fruit Crow CT: "It is surprising how much fruit can be grown on the back lot of any city home. Yet how few have single fruit tree, or berry vine or plant. On a lot comprising less than fourth of an acre. including the buiId- ings, may be grown all the fruits, winter apples excepted, that q family would need. And then the pleasure of caring for,.he trees and bringing them to fruitage! 1! Every man who owns a home lould literally dwell under his own vines and fruit trees"
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25
ADVERTISING RATES.

Display ads. 50 cents per single col nm inch per month. Ten per cent dis count on large or on long time ads.
 Locals, 5 cents line each insertion. If number of insertions are not specified when given, they will be run until or ,iered out.
 All job printing, cash on delivery. Collections for advertising made month ".
 All obituaries, resolutions of respect, er similar matter, exceeding one hundred and twenty words, will be charged for at ;he rate of cents a line.
 All notices of entertainments, suppers, socials, etc., where pay is demanded, will be charged same rate as other ad- vertising matter, 5 cents a line.
 Original poetry, 10 cents line, strict lY cash in advance.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25
Saved the Loved Ones!

Mrs. Mary A. Vliet, Newcastle, Colo, writes: ''I believe Bal- lard's Horehound Syrup is su- perior to any other cough medi- : cine and will do all that is claim ed for it, and it is so pleasant to take. My little girl wants to take 1t when she has no need for it.. " Ballard's Horehound Syrup is the great cure for all pulmonary ailments. 25c, soc and S1OO at Poynor & Morrow's.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25

Gov. JEFFERSON DAVIS is what might be termed a very busy man nowadays. Not only has he all the duties that rdinarily fall upon the shoulders of the chief executive of great state, but all of the trials and tribula- tions heaped up by the legislature have to be worked, while a cam paign for re- reelection to third term as governor must be insti- tuted, and the ground broken for a triumphal march into the United States senate. Yes, Jeff has plenty to occupy his attention.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25

SOME of the editorials in the Harrison Times and the Marshall Republican possessed a striking similarity, so much so as to be couched in exactly the same words. The same syndicate fel- low sent THE TRIBUNE this iden- tical set of samples, but not be- ing in the market for any of his products, we didn't feel disposed to appropriate them.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25
St. l.. & N. A. R. R.

TRAIN GOING WEST DUE AT GREEN FOREST No. 2. Mail and Express daily, 5:46 D. m No. 22. Mixed, 4:54 a. m TRAIN GOING EAST DUE AT GREEN FOREST No. 1. Mail and Express, daily, 10:16 a. m No. 21. Mixed, 11:21 a. m
 No. 22 runs on Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. No. 21 runs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25

THE Little Rock Democrat is talking up Senator George Sen gal for governor to succeed your uncle Jeff. Sengal is too far re- moved from the Jeff Davis stand ard of politicians to ever succeed in such an effort. Jeff would oppose him and that would settle if
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25

LATE reports say that the Frisco and Rock Island deal is off and that while friendly relations will continue to exist between the two great systems, that a hitch in the deal makes consolidation impos- SibIe.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25

THE first crate of strawberries shipped from Van Buren, Ark, was expressed to Omaha on the 18th to H. G. Streight & Go. It brought the grower, with the premium, S2O.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25

THERE is reported to be over 3,0O0,000 in Arkansas State Treasury. The pile will look like thirty cents by the time the leg islature gets done with it.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25

UNCLE Sam now has on hands more than 15.000 ton of gold and silver money.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25

THERE is just a little bit of con- solation in the fact that Arkan- sas is not the only state that has been troubled with a legislature.
The Green Forest tribune., 1903-04-25

Subscribe for THE TRIBUNE.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-02-18
BY MIR. BRYAN.s YARDsrICK.

MIR. Bryan makes it clear that a
candidate for the presidential nomi-
nation of the Democratic party, in or
der to get his support, must be meas
ured by his yardstick, and come up to
the standard fixed by the Kansas City
platform. In an interview in the New
York Herald on Monday he says:
when people are seeking a candidate
they desire a man who expresses their
views and stands for their convictions.
If the Democrats who opposed the
Kansas City platform desire a candi-
date who also opposed it they ought
to expect that the men who are in
favor of that platform will insist upon
a candidate in sympathy with the prn-
ciples set forth therein"
The plain English of this is that Mr..
Bryan does not intend to concede any,
thing in the interest of harmony, that
he will consent to the nomination of no
man that did not come out squarely in
favor of the Kansas City platform in
1900, and who is not in favor of re-
affirming that platform. If Mr.. Bry-
an has his way the two factions of
the Democratic party will not get to-
gether. If they do not the chance for
a Democratic victory in 1904 will be
very slender.
1t is a matter of importance there
fore to know how great Mr.. Bryan's
influence in his party is. 1t was stated
a day or two ago by some of the mem
bers of the Democratic National Com
mittee, if they were quoted correctly
in the public prints, that Mr.. Bryan's
influence amounted to very ittle-that,
as a matter of fact, the party had
drifted away from him. Statements
which have appeared in the newspa-
pers of New York recently seem to
support this view. 1t is a fact, also,
that in Washington Mr.. Bryan does
not seem to receive the attention that
was accorded him a few months ago.
The idea seems to prevail that he is
disappointed man, that he is sour and
wants to punish those Democrats who
did not give him a hearty support
when he was the party's candidate,
and that therefore he is not a fit man
to be followed in the coming campaign
that is, if the party wants to be vic
torious.
1t will not be denied, however. that
! Mr.. Bryan has many friends in the
! West, particularly the Northwest,
and that if he decides to do so can
give his party a great deal of trouble
in its effort to bring it's members into
line for struggle. for the control of
the government in the next national
! contest.