The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-04-17

| At coort rayciptions he locke like a
plain clothes man at a fancy ball. He
was unable to perform any of tn
great jooties iv an ambaSsadure.
1vry shtep was blocked be his miserable
attire. He was double crossed be tn
lowliest iv tn diplomats who were en-
titled to put on glad, bright things whin
they wint to see tn car. Wan day he
come rollin' up to tn palace carryin' in
tn tail iv his simple black coat a mos
important threaty. He had made
nanny attimpts to have this threaty
signed be tn Car but tn Gar had al
ways spurned him OWN to tn machi-
nations iv Lord Ronald, tn English am
~bassadure an Veecont Boulbaze. tn
Fr-rinch a~mbassadure. Both these
naughty ambassadures a a window
dhresser firm a gint's furnishin' store
fr a valley an whin tn American am
bassadure stood alongside iv thin, 1
tell We he loOked cheap.
But this day Charleymayne Tower
was prepared to brave tn Car in his
rege an tn sintry cried: Who goes
there?' TIL ambassadure iv tn United
States iv America, hurooI' says tn
hd 10 oyS IL Sll-
try. TO tn kitchen dure with ye,
waiter he says. Well, tn ambassadure
stified his rage an Attempted to explain
about himsilf an tn sintry run him in.
Yes, sir, he run in tn ambassadure iv
these United States an they was JUS
about to AXE his phottygraft an sind
him off in tn Black, Maria to Sibeeerya
whin a gran jock come along an iden-
titled him an they let him go. He
hurried to tn throne room where Mich.
Olas, Car iv RoOshya, was settin' on
his rile throne. an took his place in
line. TIL ambassadure iv England
wore tn gorjous UNIFORM iv his station;
tn ambassadure iv France jingled with
medals; tn ambassadure iv Chiny wore
a pink an green tea gown. Wan be
a they was PRESENTED an tn Gar,
cOmplimented thin on their clothes.
Very tasty, Lord Roland Handsome
pants ye're wearin' this day, Veecont.'
Ling Ching, me wife, tn Czaretta,
wants NEE to ask We tn name iv ye'er
dhressmaker.' But Whin tn ambassa-
dure iv the United States bent his
proud knee befure tn Car, tn naughty
monarch said with an evil smile:
Carson. bring tn check. Oh he wint
on pretindin' to JUS recognize Charley
mayne Tower, L didn't know ye at first,
I thought We was tn waiter" he says.
Loud an long was tn laughter provok-
ed be this kindly sally. TIL jest flew
like Wildfire through tn crowd. Fair
ladies smiled behind their fans. Bring
me a cup iv tay an some spare ribs
says tn Princess Olgoinskia with a
maddenin' smile. What is tn title iv
tn king iV ye'er country, Misther
Tower drawled Lord Ronald in his
mos supercilyous tones. Is it head
waiter?' he says. Mong doo.' said
v~eecont; America, il is a large res
thrant, amt it?' he says. TIL air was
filled with cries iv Waiter Here you
'S-s-st.' Boy, tn bill Amt 1 niver
goin' to get that pie?' An 50 on.
Charleymayne Tower hurrid firm tn
room. While he was standin' at tn
IRE iv tn palace an lookin' down with
horror on his broadcloth pantaloons, a
gran jock came behind him, tapped
him on tn shoulder an said: Call
Grand Jook Oscaroffski's hack an be
quick about it." Charleymayne Tower
cud hear no more. He leaped firm tn
scene iv his disaster an calm a drof-
Shss DduS III uLllINSI IdSlS DIT NdlSl 10
a tailor mans. There he ordhored tn
suit l tell ye about. Wan week later
a tall, magnificently attired man sthrode
into tn rile chamber. 1t was tn Amer
lean ambasSadure. AS he marched
along a buzz iv excitement ran acrost
that splindid room. TIL English ambas-
sadue turned with an path an left tn
rile prisince. "Malydiction,' says tn
VeecOnt BoulbaZe. LIE stuff is off.
TIL gran duchess Olgarina give a pas
sionate cry an tainted. TIL American
amOasSadure strobe on unmindful iv tn
excitement. TIL Car, who is a pru-
lent husband, sint his wife firm tn
room. Thin steppin' firm tn throne,
he advanced to meet tn representative
" a great people. TIL ambassadure
was preparin' to kneel whin tn mon
arch said: Nay, Charleymayne, kneel
not to me in thin pants on this fiure.
Rather shud l kneel to thee, FIR niver
since king an tailor jined together to
rule tn wurruh, has human legs been
encaseS ia so happy a pair iv boomers.
AT last America takes its thrue station
among tn nations iv tn earth That
night tn threaty was signed be which
tn Car agreed to sind three millyon
Rooshyan jews TO this country before
tn first iv May an Lord Ronald hurl-
ed himsilf firm tn great Popolapotcheff
bridge into tn New afther shootin' his
tailor. Now they have promoted Char
leymayne Tower but his UNIFORM re-
mains upon tn banks iv tn frozen Neva
an against ii nayther arrystocratic in
thrigue nor dispotic whim will prevail.
Il think it's a good thing, Hinnissy.
| It's goin' to save US a lot ~ throuble
in pickin' out diplomats. 1t will no
longer be nicissry to find some wan who
wudden't wurruk at home IN whose
rilitfves wud like to sind him out iv tn
| country TO uphold tn dignity an hon-
! or iv our fair and abroad. All we have
to do is TO get tn UNIFORM an thrust
! amy kind " a man into it. TIL pris-