The sun., 1903-04-04
The Colonel and the Cons sta BILE.

The art Of historical criticism or para
dox has been carried to such point that
nothing is but what is not. All the good
men were bad and all the bad men good.
CESAR BoRGIA was a light Of the Y.
Nj. C. A. ALEXANDER was the founder
Of the American Peace Society. CASA
NOVA was an ascetic. EzZELINo DA
ROMANO was an altruist. Old PARR
died in infancy. Capt. KIDD estab-
lished the doctrine that neutral ships
make neutral goods. BLUEBEARD was
an advocate Of woman suffrage. One
by one the vapors Of illusion vanish. All
history Is a historical novel. Nothing
is real but time tables; and they are hero
glyphics which no man understands, least
Of all railroad man.
Such is the vanity Of knowledge. Yet
in the fading world Of romance once
called history, there is one bright figure
which We are loath to lose. We have
loved the Kentucky Colonel, the splen-
didly militant Colonel, in whom the
Crusader and the Chevalier were reen-
forced at need by the Bad Man from Bit
ter Creek Gentle TO his friends as
spring lamb chop, terrible when aroused
as an army with banners, the Kentucky
Colonel was as picturesque as a pirate
and as fiery as BARDoLPH's nose. Sud-
den and quick in quarrel, punctilious to
the minutest point Of honor, ready TO
take the law into his own hands, fierce,
fulminant, instant, he was a cross be-
tween dynamite and chain lightning.
half horse and half alligator He cut
of his plug OF terbaccer with a glitter
ing bowie knife. His pistols were always
loaded and he was frequently loaded
himself. He gloried in personal diff
culties with other members OF "promi-
nent families" He was a series OF
explosions. The base hands Of bum
bailifis and other myrmidons of the
law never dared to touch his sacred
person.
There was our old friend Col. JACK
CHINN, the beautiful and the brave. the
gallant and the gay, as fine a man and
Colonel, sir, as ever stepped In shoe
leather. A little child could lead him,
IL he wanted to be led, but armies couldn't
intimidate him. He was known to be
dauntless. Like LAUNchLoT's, his great
name conquered. He had the reputa-
ton Of making cutting remarks. He
was an armory and proving ground
on legs. Irrepressible. and invincible,
the Colonel was wherever the fight snd
speech were the thickest, a god Of the
keen steel and battle smoke. We have
long venerated him. We have loved
to hang garlands on his steaming altars.
He was one Of our leading military in
stitutions. He was known as a chief
source Of heat and motion. q
The Colonels warlike virtues do not
thrive by transplantation. A few days
ago he left the old Kentucky shore and
encamped in Cincinnati hotel. There
must be something in the stolid. beerful
atmosphere Of the Queen City that il
poison to Kentucky constitution. The
Colonel had bought on credit certain
goods OF a Cincinnati firm. The sordid
tradesmen, not knowing that they were
insulting the tender sensibilities Of one
of great Natures noblemen, sent a
Senegambian messenger to the Colonel
TO ask for the money. The Colonel
roared like an old Greek hero and the
Moor fed in fright. Then legal proceed
ings were begun and two constables,
two mere and common constables,
CRITcHEIL and TIMBERLAKR, were sent
to the Colonels enoampment to serve
an attachment. They found the hero
only partly dressed in his shirt
sleeves, We presume. and eating his
supper quietly The quiet Of that
patriarchal scene was soon torn by war.
The constables told their business. The
Colonel started to throw them out. Con-
stable CRIToHELL repelled the Colonel's
attack with well-directed right, which
sent him sprawling over the supper
table Then Col. JACK visited his park