The Colfax gazette. [volume] (Colfax, Wash.) 1893-1932, 1903-12-25

'Humph. He's going to the noun
tains to cool OFF, Much pleasanter
place to pursue the paths of magazine
editing than the dingy dinky quarters
Of the Palladium. But I'll
k(NkST fix him OF course he
SeSsSSES- wants d story from my
!" !. J: !. ! : !. ] !. !. : : ! ; ! ! !. !:
f~-kk==@T5 pen, only he's too stingy OF
eA courtesy to say so.
AFa ITO the mountains to
II ErEB keep cool and wants to read
u about Christmas sleigh
f@ W rides and snowdrifts, ice
lk boats and chill wintry
EW blasts blowing through old
~ "a Santa's whiskers. This is
IL - fighting dog days with the
R2 mind cure. But his nobs III
" -@ not get a mental ice bath
X from me this trip. I'll put
II him into Il mental oven in
| [I stead and roast the noun
\ ~ tain coolness out of him"
XZ%NI SO Dalliance wrote in a
M MW spirit of viudictiveness and
\ pushed his pen as he never
NJ pushed it for the prospec-
nm going tive publishers check. He
to keep laid the scene of his story
cool" i'm n farmers Kitchen i'm
the middle west. All the family, three
generations wide, rallied in the little
farmhouse to gorge on grandma's
Christmas goodies. The weather clerk
lost his reckoning. and it was a green,
sticky Christmas. Moreover, the au-
thor piled on the agony with a roaring
hickory fire, baking. roasting stewing
half a dozen women and girls packed
in the fiery kitchen, lost to all discom-
fort so the feast was done on time
and eaten piping hot. Grandpa said.
"'Twunt be no Crismus 'thout the
ole fireplace a-humpin'w And so there
was q roaring furnace in the dining
room, where the Overgrown crowd was
packed in to dispose of hot bean soup,
hot turkey, hot baked potatoes, hot tur-
nips, hot apple sauce, hot plum pud-
ding, hot mince pie and hot coffee.
1t was 100 in the shade in Dalliances
city den while he wrote, as well as in
the picture he drew, and he was ex-
hausted from the effect of his own
medicine when the sketch was finished.
But this was a trifle so long as he
could parboil the editor of the Pal
ladium. For a week he lived over the
details of his joke, sweltering as one
can in dog days with flames, heat
waves and sissing things before the
minds eye.
Certain of the success of his scheme
and the usual gilt edged check, for the
Palladium was a liberal
paymaster, he decided to MfWM
blow himself in advance <NSSA
by way Of cooling his over -
heated blood. He haunted C7l Ill
the beach and the roof gar ECmHlU71 /
dens, and having gorged -TAMMSAll |
his stomach with ice water HzrRT9I
while cOncocting the red W
hot story, he found it nee - Me4
essary to introduce more n "
palatable liquids. and these .4jn1
cost good money. Every IA
night, or, rather, early fAM
morning he b appen Esy >-11j
around to see If the mail "a
{. ! !. : ! I : {. . . !: !. ! ! !. ! /. ! ! !. J ! ]. J !. !.
had landed his check and, - IAE1
not finding it, lived the sZ3NSA
story over again, as he /s1Lf4
thought the editor would E$l~1
find it in his mountain RAN
haven. 1t even delighted NN
him to believe that his vic 0VV
tim was having a good II US 1oo
long roast. These frequent n t e
rehearsals produced the in shade
evitable result of more thirst. more ice
water, more staleness of the palate and
a desire for liquid that would take hold.
Then at length he got his manuscript
back with curt note saying:
My Dear Sir-In the same mail with
your manuscript came note from my as
sistant to the effect that a Christmas
story bought last year and somehow mis-
laid in the Palladium office has turned
up. OF course we must use that, 80 / am
compelled to deny myself the personal
pleasure it would afford me to read your
manuscript in order to return IL in time
for you to seek a purchaser elsewhere.
Thank you just the same for submitting
it. THE EDITOR
Poor Dalliance hadn't even the usual
satisfaction of cursing the numskun
autocrat for not knowing good thing