davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16

"The lecturer spoke slowly, almost
painfully, as one not accustomed to
talking"
well, don't wonder at that. You
see, he has been married thirty three
years."
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16

''That young lady must have ; very
vivid Imagination" said While Wish
ington.
what makes you think sor'
Every time tell her & story me
says she imagines she has heard h BE-
fore. ."-Washington Star.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
Rallroad Tranaformatsou,

eyes, stranger" drawled the up
state farmer, that train Is loaded with
butter"
"But l thought 1t was milk trainT
interposed the city man.
80 1t was, but coming down the
mountain 1t left the track, and when
1t got back again all the milk had
been churned into butter"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
Pntting Tt Delicatelx.

''There are Just as good ash in the
sea as ever were caught"
"But you never cared much for fish,
lid your"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16

Harold-That is BessIer, the famous
Inventor of the triple expansion engine,
the automatic double back action, re-
versible, rapid fire gun, the compound
electro hydro heated dynamo, the
Rupert-But he looks distracted.
Harold-Yes; he can't invent plua-
sible excuse to give his wife for being
late. and he daren't go home.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16

II hear your father is ILL.," said
neighbor to 8-year-old Nettie. "What
has he gotT"
"Him's dot doctor" replied the lit
tie miss.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
Thn fluFaseanine.

"How proyokingl / wanted to take
our bulldog out riding and now have
to wat until the maid cleans his tech"
WHAT is the trouble, Mabelf"
why, he bit tramp. Chicago
News.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
The Grabbera.

Il drick--I think our minister was tco
severe. The rich trust magnates may
get to heaven after all.
Van Albert-You are right. Ii they
g1t there they will be after all, just like
on earth.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
Rnfer than the Tnrf

How Is 1t we don't see much Of
young Pursethin these daysT
"Oh, he is interested in q 'get-rich-
quick scheme"
II thought he was In loveT
'"That's right. He's trying to marry
the trust magnate's daughter"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
Careful Of Her Candy.

"Now, dear" said mamma to little
Edna, who had just been presented
with box Of candy, you must ask
one Of your little playmates to share
1t with you"
WELL" rejoined Edna, after a mo-
ment's serious thought, ''I'll ask Ma
bel, cause candy makes her tooths
hurt an she can't eat much"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
Strength Needed.

~ don't see why officers in the army
should be required to be strong They
don't have to do any lifting"
"No, but they have to carry so
many medals"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
On Hia Knee He swors.

did you say Mr.. Spooner swore all
sorts OF things on his bended knees
last night?"
Yes There was an upturned tack
Oh the carpet Just where he kneeled."
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
The Old Armchair.


| love 1t, love 1t! and who shall dare
To chide me for loving that old arm
chairl
I've treasured II long as a sainted prize,
I've bedewed 1t with my tears, I've en-
balmed 1t with my sighs;
'Tis bound by a thousand bands to nay
heart;
Not tie will break, not link will start;
Would know the spellT A mother sat
therel
And sacred thing is that old arm chair.
In childhood's hour fingered near
The hallowed seat with listening ear:
And gentle words that mother would give
To fit me to die, and teach me to live;
She told me that shame would never
betide
With truth for my creed, and God for
my guide;
She taught me to lisp my earliest prayer
As knelt beside that old arm chair.
sat and watched her many a day,
When her eye grew dim, and her locks
were BEHyI
And almost worshiped her when she
smiled,
And turned from her Bible to bless her
child.
Years rolled on, but the last one sped,
My idol was shattered, my earth star
fed!
learnt how much the heart can bear,
When saw her die In her old arm chair.
'Tis past, tits past! but gaze on 1t now
With Qulvering breath and throhbins
brow;
Twas there she Aursed me, twas there
she died,
And memory flows with lava tide.
Say It Is folly, and deem me weak.
Whilst scalding drops start down my
cheeks;
But levs 1t, love II, and cannot tear
My soul from a mothers old arm chair.
Eliza Cook.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
FoitowIH~ the Rout..

Hamuactorre-Yes l always take 4
short walk after the show.
Mfr. Knowsitt-To the next town.
Baltimore American
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
seerst Of sueessA

Green-What are you doing ncvf
Brown-Running = grocery.
Green-Making a success Of 1T
Brown-Well, yes-in small weigh.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16

Women. 1t Is reported. about to
be admitted to graduate at LublIn Uni
Herslty.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

Odd, Curious and LaughabIe Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Por-
trayed by Eminent Word Artists Of
Our Own Day-A Budget Of Fun.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
Somewhat DifFerezA
aRa TNAA -. - .--...Aa q

Ciara-Ddd papa give ASSENT
Tom-No. He said be had no objec-
ton to our getting married. but not :
cent would be give us.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
Genius Indeed

Genius Indeed
Ida-Mabel is genius.
May-In what wayf
Ida-Why, she never throws any
thing away. When her black gloves
got too old she cut them up and made
beauty spots.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16

In an argument the lOng-wtnded man
succeeds either in convincing hls Cd
ponent or in making him tired
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
Exnlained.

Eyes, the stork brought Us a baby
brother"
but he Is so small"
"Well, you see, the fues are so small
in our house / don't guess the stork
could get a larger one down the CHM
new"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
Letters Arc Reversed.

In north Wales the Welsh word for
NOW" is ''rwan." In south Wales It Is
'rwan" spelt backwards-viz.. "nawr."
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16

After a man passes fifty. nothing IN
the show line Il very good
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16

"oi say, Mulligan, pwhat koind av
foreigner is that allow peddling rugsf"
He's Turk, me bye"
"Wel, / talked to him for tin min
utes avn niver a word hos he spoken"
"Bedad, maybe he's phwat they call
an 'unspeakable Turk"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
OLD
FAvORlTES
Wearing Of the Green.

The Wearing Of the Green.
o, Paddy dear, and did you hear the
news that's going round?
The shamrock Is forbid by law to grow
on Irish ground.
Saint Patrick's day no more wen keep,
his colors can't be seen,
For there's cruel law against the wear
ing Of the green.
| met with Napier Tandy, and he teok
me by the hand.
And he said. "How's poor old ireland,
and how does she standT
She's the most distressful country that
ever yet was seen,
They are hanging men and women for
the wearing Of the green.
Then since the color we must wear Is
England's cruel red,
Sure Ireland's sons viii ne'er forget the
blood that they have shed,
You may take the shamrock from your
hat, and cast 1t ON the sod,
But twill take root and flourish there,
tho underfoot 'tis trod.
When law can stop the blades of grass
from growing as they grow,
And when the leaves In summer time
their verdure dare not show,
Then l will change the color that wear
IN my caubeen,
But till that day, please God, Ill stick to
wearing Of the green.
But If at last our color should be torn
from Ireland's heart,
Her sons with shame and sorrow from
their dear old isle will part;
I've heard a whisper of a country that
lies beyond the sea,
Where rich and poor stand equal In the
light of freedoms day.
O. Erin! must we leave you driven by a
tyrant's hand?
Must we ask mothers blessing from q
strange and distant land?
Where the cruel cross Of England shall
nevermore be seen.
And where, please God, we'll live and die
still wearing Of the green.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16

Mr. Callow-What funny little hole
In the sofa! 1t looks like some one had
been boring.
Tommy-Maybe you did II, Mr.. Cal
low.
Mr.. Callow-I9
Tommy-Yes. heard sister say you
were q bore.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
Mr.. Callow--If
In chicago.

$50 they fined the little man 500 for
endaHgering human lifeT
"Yes, and the other one was fined S25
for almost causing the death Of three
people"
How was 1t he got off so easilyP
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16

"Why was that hoteIkeeper so angry
with the advance agent Of Uncle Toms
CabinT Queried the tourist In Eagle
Eye.
why, the galoot only wanted to let
two members of the company put up
thar" responded Amber Pete.
but two members were better than
none"
mo; these two members were the
dogs"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16

"She's all the world like a bali of
twine."
Indeed"
"Yes-so wrapped up in herself"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16
Didn,t Uae Amy.
Innocent Tommy.

They've formed the soap trust
well. 1t won't hurt u.s."
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-04-16

but two members were better than
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-07-03
Hoisington
From The Dispatch.

A II pound girl was born to Geo.
McCauley and wife Saturday even
ing.
The machine shop is under cover
and the dirt is all in. 1t is now ready
for the machinery.
Mr.. and Mrs. Oscar Jessup left
this morning for Haviland, Kansas
for visit with Mrs. Jessup's parents.
Engineer ]. R. Holland and family
of Sedalia, Mo. are visiting Engineer
N. A. Anderson and family.
George Brown, son of Ed Brown,
the druggist, is here from Kansas
City to spend the summer with his
father.
Memo Best and son. John, return
ed from Scot: county Saturday. They
will work for Jake Gustin near
Galatia during harvest.
Mrs. J. S. Wingert received very
painful if not serious injuries last
Friday in Morrison's store. She was
looking at some tinware which was
on shelf near the. cellar door and
failing to see the open door stepped in
backward and fell to the bottom re-
ceiving injuries in her back and
shoulder.
1t would be a most enjoyable
affair if we could have a portable
band stand on Main street and have
open air concerts by the band on
these fine summer EVENINGS The
band has never received the proper
encouragement from the town and it
is strange that they stay together and
play SO well. There are some who
are inclined to look at the band
proposition in the light of "What is
there in it for me?" That is not the
idea exactly. What benefits the
town is certainly benefit to every
individual living in it.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-07-03
In Kind Memory.

The Angel of death has revisited
our neighborhood and has taken two
of our loved ones, Mrs. Sarah Terril
and granddaughter, Miss May Nc
Donald. They were killed by lone
engine on the crossing east of Boyd
at about 5 O'Clock Monday evening
June 22d. The funeral services were
held at the Olivet church Thursday
afternoon at 2 o'clock. The services
were conducted by Rev. Flowers.
Their remains were laid to rest in
the Olivet cemetery.
The following is written by a
friend in memory of the deceased.
Gone from among us
To rest in Heaven,
Those two of our friends
That our SAVIOR has given.
The pay car engine
In its return from the west,
Laid two of our friends
In their graves to rest.
Taken from the homes
OF their loved ones dear,
Taken from their friends
So far and near.
Leaving their homes
So happy and bright,
To dwell with the angels
The coming night.
Long it viii live,
And be remembered by all
That all good will be gathered
At our Savior's call.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-07-03
Clahin.
From The Clarion.

Mr.. Benson, who owns a valuable
farm adjoining town, IS here to
inspect the crop prospects.
Mrs. Meyer left this morning for
Chicago, where she will visit few
weeks with relatives and friends.
Mrs Chatter and children, who
have been visiting with relatives the
past three weeks, came home Mon
day.
Will Dougan and wife came up
from their new home near Larned
the first of the week for few days
visit with relatives and old friends.
Barton county has wheat acreage
of 27O,503 according to the returns
of the township assessors, and
reasonable estimate will put the
8 WELD at four and half million
bushels.
Oneof the most enjoyable affairs
that has taken place in long time,
was a Social ball given Saturday
evening of last week at the home OF
. Mr.. and Mrs D. E. Hogan north OF
town.
Miss Lulu Grossardt won the prize
of a years scholarship at either the
Baker or Campbell colleges, which
was offered by those institutions to
the pupil making the highest average
at the county examination. This is
distinction that the young lady, as
swell as the people of this neighbor-
hood, should feel justly proud OF.
Talk about productive countries all
you please, but when one gets down
to the real facts of the matter, there
is none that can beat old Barton
county. Mfr. and Mrs. Alex Veach
who have lived i'll Oklahoma the past
. few years, landed here about week
since, and yesterday bright and
|, handsome baby girl (Which Alex says
looks just like its pa) came to bless
their home. There's no other country
that can raise 'em quicker than this.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-07-03
OUT OF TOWN
Newsy Notes from
Surrounding Towns
and Neighborhoods
Ellinwood.
From The Leader.

The new side affairs for the
Catholic church arrived last week.
The eight year old daughter of
Mrs. Paul Scheufer, is quite sick
with typhoid fever.
James Garvey, who was quite ser
iously injured in a runaway at
Chatten's lumber yard last week is
again able to be out and around.
Charles Bacon who has been quite
seriously sick for some time was
taken to Hutchinson Sunday, where
an operation was performed.
Word comes to this office that a
baby girl was born to Mr.. and Mrs.
Paul Andreae at Hudson one day
last week. Grandpa Charley Andreae
is wearing a broad smile, and doing
as nicely as could be expected.
Rev. Father Schauf left Monday
for the northern part of the county,
accompanied by his two sisters, from
Leavenworth. They will visit their
old home and relatives and friends
near Odin and Dubuque.
Jake Dick, of Hollywood, who has
been helping ,Chas. Andreae in the
erection of house at Hudson, was
quite severely hurt last Friday morn
ing. He made misstep, falling
some II or Is feet to the ground,
spraining his hip, and otherwise
bruising him up.
On last Sunday, June q, John
Dotter, German editor of the Leader
celebrated his 10Th birthday. For
the last six years Mr.. Dotter has de-
voted most of his time to the Ger
man department of the paper, collect
ing news, setting type, and managing
in general that part of the paper. He
organized the Ellinwood Maennerchor
some five years ago and since that
time has been leader, and most of the
time held the secretaryship of that
organization.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-07-03
Pioneer, Stafford County.

Harvest will soon be here.
John Booth seems to enjoy himself
buggy riding.
Mrs. Flick has recovered and was
out to church Sunday.
Harold Shute who has been very
sick for the last ten weeks is not very
much better.
George Merritt, of Toronto, Kan
sas, arrived at his uncles, M. Stricken.
Lass Thursday evening.
Calvin Miller and Miss Clara
Blakesaee were united in marriage
bstWednesday June 24th, 1903.
John Hickman, of Savannah. Mo.
arrived here last week to visit
relatives and friends and help through
harvest.
Some of Great Bends young folks
were visiting at Mr.. Burlingame's
Sunday, and attended church at
Pioneer.
Willie Junod, infant son of Rilev
Kay died last Tuesday and was
buried Thursday the 18th, in the
Pleasant Ridge cemetery. Age 4
months and 2 days. He has been in
the care of his aunt, Mrs. Maggie
Gates since his mothers death.
Il
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-07-03
Olmitz Notelets.
Harvest is upon us.

Harvest is upon US.
We have been too busy to do any
item chasing the past two weeks.
Frank Brinkman of Great Bend
spent Sunday with friends in the city.
Our second ball team went to
Albert last week and were defeated
by score of Is to 9. The kids were
little too light to go up agin the
team, but what would our big boys co
to those Reubens from Albert? The
echos answer mot ting"
If the Pawnee Rock Base Ball
Club is as old as the poetry which the
writer from that hamlet was guilty of
putting in the DEMOCRAT last week,
they should have been Old Timers
enough to have gotten along without
hiring players from Dodge City and
Larned in the game with our boys
there some two weeks ago. We have
no kick coming however, the boys
are loud in their praise of the treat
ment at the hands of the Pawnee
Rock people and say that they were
fairly out played, yet we cannot but be
of the opinion that our fellows can skin
anything in the base ball line that
live at Pawnee Rock. But those
verses, oh dear, they have gray hair
and have needed shaving for the past
ten years.
The Registers Buffalo Township
writer wonders if Olmitz knows the
first principle of the National Game.
Well Brother if you will remember
some three weeks ago how Olmitz
wolloped the life out of your Great
Home aggregation of ball tossers you
will in all probability recollect that
our fellows had few of the princi-
pies of the art quite pat. Our boys
may not have the game down as fine
as some teams, but Heller cannot be.
gin to show anyone anything along
these lines. We would like to see
your team and ours meet for the third
and last time of the season, but as its
your turn to come up here we know
its useless to expect it, because you
and your rummy ball team don't like
W "dhueI>IIom your own hreSlde, at
least not more than once each season.
and besides its harvest.
MARRIED.-At the residence of the
brides parents in this city on Wednes-
day, June 24th at 5 o'clock D. M.
Mr.. Henry Reineck and Miss Lillian
Akin were united in the holy bonds
OF wedlock, Rev. Smith of Albert
officiating. The bride is the young
est daughter of DIR. and Ms. Ed
Atkin of this city-.A young lady of
accomplishments and social favorite.
The groom is one of Heizer's young
and enterprising business men and is
young man of pleasing manner and
bearing. We join with a large circle
OF friends in wishing these young
people long and prosperous life of
joy and happiness.
The oil wagon will call at your
house and fill your wants-and your
cans.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-07-03
The country is full of buns.

0lStIlCG 4.
The country is full of buns.
Miss Villa Drake has been on the
sick list.
J. C. Lowry's father from Missouri
is visiting him.
Tom Pearson purchased a team
one day last week.
Miss Violet Names visited with
Mr.. Ford's Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Quinn spent
last Sunday in the Valley.
Virgil and Cecil Keltner visited
with Leroy Humphry last Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. E. P. Gage and
daughter Mabel. visited with F. NJ.
Halls the 29th.
Chas. Cue, Ed Courtes and Dana
Oman came down from Trego last
week to prepare for the harvest feld.-
Several of the neighbors are talk
ing of going into the harvest field the
last of the week. There will be
considerable binding done this year.
Several of the young people met
last Friday and cleared up and
papered the school house at -,
improving the looks of it very much.
Nearly fifteen dollars was cleared
at the ice cream and strawberry
social at Elmdale the Oath. The
crowd was small on account of the
inclemency of the weather, but all
present seemed to have good time
Cheyenne Valley Notes.
DIR. Claude Cole went down to ST.
John last Sunday.
Henry Held opened the harvest
season by harvesting three acres of
rye last week.
Charles O'Blennis' little daughter
Bessie, fell from the wagon wheel
and broke her arm, last Thursday.
Little Florence O'Blennis got
poisoned in some manner last week,
and was quite sick for day or two.
The grain is ripening fast now,
and good many of the farmers will
be in the harvest field by the last of
this week.
A few Cheyenne Valley folks
joined with a few Walnut Creek
people and had quiet little picnic
last Sunday.
E. C. Davis and family and Supt.
Aldrich of Great Bend and Mr..
Aldrich's cousin, Miss Eva Marble,
from Ohio, were out riding in this
neighborhood last Sunday afternoon.
About Albert.
Wheat has been ripening almost
too fast, the past few days.
Henry Haberman is thinking
about leaving this country after
harvest.
Miss Bertha Robertson has been
up from the Bend, visiting in this
locality.
John Stoss had a dance in his new
barn June 28th, and a good time is
reported
Ask John 10th about the mash he
made at the dance at Mr..
Rabenseifner's.
The wages for harvest hands being
employed about here are an average
of $500 per day.
The Olmitz ball team played
Albert, last Sunday, and the Albert
boys outplayed them.
Mr.. Campbell, who went to
Missouri last year, is back again. He
says he wasn't right in the flood, but
he suffered, just the same.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-07-03

The oil wagon will call at your
house and fill your wants-and your
cans.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-07-03

Newcombe carries q special line of
fhreshing coal.
The Caldwell tribune., 1903-07-04
THREE MEN WHO HAVE MADE THEMSELVES
WEALTHY AT FARMING IN THE SOUTtiWtES

of the most successful millionaire farmers in the West
Rankin of TakiO No. who has made $1OO0000 in farming and
actually the largest farm in the world Rankin has 0N
under his personal supervision which under cultivation
began farming with colt which his father him when h
traded the colt them titled eighty
been living In Illinois, but thought better of Missouri farming
SO for So he bought tracts Of ground adding to
the income Of the other fields would permit until he had
himself in thirty with $4,000 which G
He employs 200 the 700 teams ana
good seasons he makes 100000 He 5000 G
steers and feeds them He these CATTLE not
put IN clean stables and lots where they fed from the products
fields until he is ready to ship to the markets
Take the Forsha another
carried entirely Mr. raising alfalfa
markets. but he never raises cereals He mill his ranch
Duys the wheat from other farmers makes into -four but he raises
wheat himself He makes from $40 from
aaa and the fields in the fall for bis beg
torsha began ranchng and farming
day ne Is worth several hundred thousand dollars E
John stewart began farming
ing IN real estate office as salesman He bought Homestead
lgns TO deserted quarter sections for
IN three years he was worth $8000 @
Kansas and began anchng and raising To-day
produces ooO Dushes OF wheat annually holds the worlds
IN quantity for its ze Stewart bought
drouth thereby getting reduction He has made large
in less than thirty years.