Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-07-17
sS6lZzJ|2(g!E@I 6lZzJ|(gEI
AA(zzE1]b1i|Slzz (z)||'l

air? He-Oh, that is so they can keep
up the conversation, I suppose.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Tramp-"Is dis all yer kin gimme
er cupful Nv cold water?" Kind
Lady-"Of course not. You can have
as many cupfuls as you want" Chi
cago Daily News.
Edyth--"Yes, Jack is inclined to flirt
little, but his heart is in the right |
place" Mayme-"Indeed! How long
has 1t been in your possession"-Chi-
cago Daily News.
A rainy day race: $50 you lost
again? "Of course" Couldn't the
horse you bet on run?" "Yes; he could
run very WELL But he couldn't swim"
Washington Star.
"a number of her old flames have
combined to present her father with
a fire badge" "Why" Because Of
the speed and completeness in which
he put them all out."-Judge.
Frililla-"Was your dinner social
success?" Clorinda-"Yes, indeed.
You see, 1 was careful to invite only
people who have the same kind of ner-
vous prostration." n."-Brooklyn Life.
Where did your daughter and her
husband spend their honeymoon, Mr..
Goldbug?" "Blest If I know. I can't
even find out where they spent all the
money they did."-Washington Times.
HE had three days Of grace left in
which to pay the note, and he moved
at once to the Arctic regions. l won
der why?" "Well, you know the days
there are six months ong."-Town
Topics.
Advantage of position: Hold onv'
exclaimed the boy who was under;
'let's arbitrate this thing!' "There
amt nothin' to arbitrate! painted the
boy on top, pummeling him vigorous
ly.-Chicago Tribune.
Ready for Easter: Deacon Cobbs-
"William, if your father should have
$40 and some one should give him So
what would he have?" William
Nothing. But ma would have new
hat."-Chicago News.
She-"The milliner told me that she
had been down to the dentists to hav,
nerve killed" He-"Well, from thu
prices she asks for hats, l should sa.
the dentist must have killed the wrong
One."-Yonkers Statesman.
"Oh, let me like soldier diew eX
claimed the leading man of the barn
stormers. ooh, if only had gum!
exclaimed some one in the gallery II
a tone that savored of genuine sym
pathy.-Chicago Daily News.
"To what do you attribute the prop
critics of your springs?" asked visito
: at health resort. We'll" answere,
, the proprietor, thoughtfully, Il CUES
D the advertising I've done has ha
= something to do with it"-Puck.
Automobile perils: Eyes, our 'Blac
Spook, was demolished by runnin
into barn" "Then 1 suppose 70
had to walk?" mo, we had to ru1
, The farmer came after us with pitcl
fork ard bulldog. g."-Philadelphi
. Record.
Overwhelming evidence: Judge
= "You deny persistently that you con
- mitted the act and yet the descriptio
fits you eXactly-a beautiful fac
youthful appearance, pretty little foot
Woman defendant-"Judge, l confes
all"-Tit-Bits
g New phase Of 1t: "Yander go'
another specimen er de race problem
q exclaimed Brother Dockey. where
Right vanderbilt man behind d.
nigger is de sheriff, en- de niger
leadin' him by one hundred yards
n Atlanta Constitution.
l. $50 you are not going to Eurol
Y again?" "Not for long time" a
o swered Mrs. Somrox. 1T is our
II tention to live in America, therel
p calling attention to the fact that Y
es can afford to pay the highest pric
for everything."-Washington Star.
Mrs. Hiram Offen-"That will
You'll leave on Saturday, and y
> needn't bother me about a recommt
IL dation." Bridget-"Shure, Oi hov
intintion of givin' ye a recommint
10 ton. Ofll tell the truth about ye
III livery gurl that axes me."-Philad
phia Press.
"That first wife Of mine never col
ly take joke" But she took you ono
Don't get personal. When she
. her divorce from Beimooilt last we
I sent her a message wishing her ma
happy returns Of the day, and nj
|, she refuses to even nod when
H. et."-Chicago Record-Herald.