West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-30

fust things an shave once day,
an IL his boots amt blacked or his
neckktie gifts around under his left
ear, dar's thousand people to no
,tice it.
''You an me know dat two -shill-
in suspenders hold up our trousers
as well as par'r cos,in' 50. De
millionaire knows il too, bu, he's
got TO pay outss.7s extra cause
he's in lie swim.
"In our vision we seen him seat
cd in a red velvet chair. Ii don't
Mt his back nor give him dc com
fort OF ap olc-fashioned splipt,bot-
tom but he's got to grin an bear it
cause he's nch.
'1n all dc Vars dat | knowed
rich man suthin' was allus hap
PENN TO him. While | was gwine
on foot. his HOSES run away an
broke his leg. While was enjoyin'
my kitchen stove, his steam pipes
busted and killed his cook. While
my cabin was too small game fur
thunder storms, lightnin' struck his
palatial mansion an knocked all de
chimneys off. While me an dc ole
woman was grubbin' along by our.
selves, he had to have sixteen of
his relations inlhis house. My dawg
wasn't wuth IS cents, but he lived
on. His dawg was with sa5o an
somebody 'pizened him within two
weeks.
Bein' l was only Brudder Gar
dener no one 'spected anything of
me, but dat rich man had to rent
postoffice box, a church pew, buy
steam yacht an carry around S.
umbrella an worry ober it.
He nebber had no show to eat
onions, make molasses candy nor
pop corn. He nebber slid down
hill, went rabbit hrntin' nor drank
cider out of jug. II he eber sot
down of an eavinin' wid his butes
off an feehn' dat he wanted to
take comfort, his wife dragged him
off to de theater, or man called
to sell him gold niue.
"My frens, what dye spose was
de end of dat2 He used to come
ODER to my cabin an eat billed
dinner wild me an weep cause he
was rich. He wanted TO be pore
an wear old clothes an eat corned-
beef, but alas, he couldn't be. He
had to be rich an eat fried oysters
an drink champagne an pretend to
be happy.
"What was his end1 Why, he
went down an down till he reached
de limit at last. Dat limit was
reached when he had to give a par
ty an buy sro, 900 with of roses to
decorate de house. De next mawn-
in dey found him dead in his bed,
an de look on his face proved dat
he was glad to git out of it all.
Don't you make no mistake, my
frens. We was put into dis world
to take comfort, Natur' nebber in
tended man to sot up like crow
bar. She nebber meant dat he
must be on his good behavior all de
time. She invented sweet cake an
champagne, but she also invented
barley coffee an baked Eaters.
"In imaginashun | kin see pic
tur'. It's of a pore man gwine
home of Saturday night wild his
wages in his pocket. He stops at de
grocery an orders Goldfish an sugar.
He stops at the cobbler's an takes
home his chill'ens shoes all mended
up. He orders kerosene lie and
soap for over Sunday, an he knows
dar's butter an flour in de house.
"He gifts home to be greeted at
de gate by TO- chill'en an dawg.
He opens de door to receive de
smiles Of his wife. He hasn't got
no coupons to cut off-no checks to
draw-no bonds to hide Under de
bed All he's got to do am to eat
supper, box de chilPen's ears, an
set de hull eavenin' long wild, his
feet in de oven of de cook stove an
his mind at rest.
"DaFs me, an dat's you, am
dat's ebery odder pore man in de
kentry, an when we lie down at
night or rise up in de mawnin' we
orter realize an be grateful fur de
fact dat we am takin' comfort in
hunks an chunks, while de rich
man am hastenIn' TO his doom.