The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-06-28
HOW TO AVOID
THE DIVORCE COURT

V.
It's pretty hard, of course, to continue
to worship man as a hero of romance
after you find out that he eats onions
and SHORES. BY the same token II
must be a strain on the masculine i'm
agination to see an angel in the woman
who comes down 10 breakfast in
slouchy wrappers and curl papers. II
is when these homely details of exist
ence clash that loves young dream
gets it's first jar, and Cupid so often
shuts up shop and quits the business.
Perhaps the best remedy for this. and
the one thing that would do more to
promote conjugal felicity than ANYTHING
else. would be the Introduction of
little more of Formally and .conven-
tionality into domestic life, and the
putting of less faith in the fallacy that
marriages gives you carte blanche to
treat the party of the other part as
you please. Personally, 1 am convinced
that politeness will do more than the
strongest moral principles to make a
happy home. You can't be courteous
and quarrelsome or considerate and
nasty at the same time, and if we put
more stress on the efficacy of good
manners and less on the potency of
undying affection fewer people would
land in the divorce court.
We don't do this. We give out best
our best manners, our best conversa-
ton, our best clothes, our best food-to
strangers-while to our own-to tine
people we would suffer for, and die
-1,rr L.. IL
that is not even common decency. There
isn't a person living so dull that he
cannot pick out husband and wife in
any crowd. We know them by the way
in which they straggle along on the
street, the heavy, dull silence that
reigns between them, by their Hstless
and bored expression, by the way in
which they blame each other for ever
contretemps, by the very fact that they
are treating each other as they would
not dare to treat any other human be-
ing.
This is not what they married for. If,
when they were lovers, they could have
looked into the future and seen them
selves disillusioned, bored, two people
who had gotten on each others nerves,
and got nothing but friction out of
life, they would have fled matrimony
as they would the leprosy. 1t is COM
mon tragedy, but one that 1 never see
without wondering if it could be avoid
ed, if the wife would only treat her
husband like she would some other
man whom she desired 10 please. Ev-
cry woman knows what that meaus,
because every woman has her little
repertoire of stunts-airs and graces
end fascinat ions-that she goes
through for the benefit of the person
on whom she desires to make a good
impression.
Suppose, for instance, the man who
is coming to dinner tonight were not
your patient, tired John, who spends
his life toiling for you, but some Othcr
man whom you liked and respected,
what you'd you do? You wouiu see
that your table was well spread and
the little dishes he affected most were
specially prepared, and then you would
put on pretty frock, and when he
came give him gracious welcome
that would make him feel that his
coming brought happiness and bright
ened the hour. No matter what little
veXations had tormented the day, you
would put them away. You would not
dream of worrying him with all the
details of the cooks failures and the
childrens badness, and still less would
you vent on him the temper and cross
ness and spleen that you had been ac-
cumulating on account of your dress
ing your best vase. On the contrary,
observing that he looked tired and
worn you would exert yourself to en-
terrain him. You would tell him all
the funny stories you had heard, you
would give a sketch of your latest club
meeting that would make him laugh,
and you would retail to him all the
CHEEKY personal gossip you know OF
your intimate friends.
he talking
himself. You would ask him dett
question or two to get him started on
his hobby, and you would listen with
apparently rapt attention While he eX-
planned the situation in Manchuria, or
prophesied about what the Democratic
party was going to do, and If he tod
some STORIES no matter if you had
heard them from your infancy up, you
would laugh al the right spot if you
had to take laughing gas to do 1t.
But how are you going to treat your
own husband? If you feel like dress
ing, you will do it, but not for him.
Oh dear, no. Any old rag is good
enough for your husband. Also any
sort of a dinner. and if he don't like
what is set before him, he can lump
it, that's all. Men-at least husbands
think too much about eating, any
way. When he comes in you won
raise your head to more than grunt
out, THAT you, John? Be sure to latch
the door, you'll let the cat out. Then
you commence the jeremiad, of the day
about how the coal is out, and the
cook says she's got to have more
wages, and the baby bumped its head
and the meat didn't come, and the
plumbing is out of order, and SaIlle.
got to have new shoes, and BOBBY Is
threatened with the measles, and Tom
is so bad he needs a whipping, and
goodness knows what makes wom-
IN get married, anyway!
And if poor John survives this DEL
uge of woes, and heroically tries to tell
story. you break right into the oes'
part of it with some perfectly irreie-
want remark that shows you haven
listened to a word of it. And poor John
thinking of the charming way you
treat perfect strangers. must wish
with all his heart and soul that he was
casual guest instead of fixture m
your house.
Worse than all, and the rock on
which the Matrimonial ship is oftenes'
wrecked, is the fatal mistake women
make in supposing that marriage gives
people a right 10 speak the truth 70