The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-13
THE NONPAREIL MAN
Discussion of the Abstruse Question as to
Whether Experiments Along the Line OF
Burning Ashes Come Under the Bylaw
Regarding Economies Of Productions"
or Whether They Are to Be Tabooed as
"Pewee Economy Merely.

or Whether They Are to Be Tabooed as
"Pewee Economy" Merely.
An argument has arisen in the Bankers
association as to whether its members
can, with propriety, descend to level
where they can discuss the matter of
burning ashes in the heater it may be
remembered that the point has often been
brought out in this column of the dignity
of the association and of the necessity
OF hedging it about with certain reStric-E
tons. No member of the association is
permitted, nor would he care to do SO.
to sift his ashes or to saw his own wood.
He might, however, under the bylaw all
lowing exercise, walk down town to his
office in the morning. It is hardly the
thing, however, to walk home, tho there
are cases in which this unWritten law is
not strenuously insisted upon.
In the association the matter of1fuel
has caused some discussion. No member
is supposed to burn. anything but anthra-
cite coal, of which he lays in thirty tons IN
the fall without asking the price. Calling
up his coal dealer over the phone, he says:
John, you may send up my coal.
All right, sir, we will send 1t at once.
The members Of the Peewee association,
on the other hand, experiment with pea
coal, soft coal and some of them sift their
ashes and use the screenings. No mem
Der Of the Bankers association would
think Of doing any Of these things.
Now as to the matter of burning ashes.
One member of the association quotes the
bylaw allowing experiments of this char
acter in the interests of economics, or the
economies of production. For Instance,
j. j. Hill, president Of the Great North
ern road, invented little coal chute
that saved six or eight minutes time In
loading engine tenders. This was great.
But Mr. Hill would not think of sitting
his ashes. The delicate line between the
economies of production and economy
may easily be seen by the densest mind.
Now, does not the matter Of burning,
ashes come under the bylaw allowing, nay
demanding. experiments along the line of
the economies of production. We submit
that it does.
: OF course every Peewee will try the ex-
pertinent of burning his ashes. But SO
does every Peewee burn coal. Inat IS no
argument against burning coal.
It will be seen that these destlnctions
are very subtle but very necessary.
Rear Admiral Henry Glass is not likely
to get ratified if the Colombians do throw
stones.
Forty prominent citizens Of Panama. had
been condemned for execution when the
revolution saved them. She couldn't re-
volve any. too quick to suit these forty
prominent citizens. In a few years an
other revolution will doubtless be required
to rescue these same necks from jeopardy.
When the Lockjaw Pistol, the Swim
ming Hole and the Thin Ice met, they had
a little friendly controversy as to which
should get the Small Boy. II the boy
ducked when they appeared later on IN
his life Football took try at him. Still
later in life, if he escapes, he ilnds him.
self putting up a front in the presence OF
the Law Of the Survival of the Ftttest.
This mortal life is certainly vanity and
vexation of spirit. Let us live above 1t.
Brigadier Jenkins of the Salvation Army
says that the saWbuck is an unehrlstia an.
device. We have held that opinion for
forty-odd years. 80.
a Russo American warts predicted.
Perhaps, in 2130 A. D.
Dr.. Albert Shaw, who made vivid
Ep1ess as to what might happen at Pan
ANA, denies that the president put him
next to a good story. He just wrote
what ought to happen~-as it did. he
| doctor is as wise as ever.
! Al New York man sold his ear for $4,000.
There are certain book agents who sell
sets Of the mighty Products of Amer
[ lean Literature Previous to 1920" in sew
enty-two de luxe volumes, half horsehide.
! who couldn't get our ear if they offered
| 81, 600, 900.
! Henry Irving is polite to critics. One
of them wrote him the other day. Insisting
that his mechanical effects in the play
| of ''Dante'' were bad and that the sunset
ripple on the water was tout Of whack
and not true to nature. Sir Henry replied
| sWeetlY:
Really: your criticism is quite apt You see;
/ by some mechanical error, and the rain instead
Of falling down, fell up don't wonder you
How much better to explain to the
gentleman than to become excited and
angry and thus lose your grip on harmony.
Carrie Nations play, "Hatchetation.
opened to monster house at the Lyceun
| theater, Elizabeth, N. J., this week. The
| day before the play Mrs. Nation did a
! little judicious advertising by extracting
nails-that is, she pulled cigarettes from
| the astounded countenances of several
| gentlemen on the streets or In automo-
biles.
A whoop of joy went up when Carrie
| appeared on the stage Monday night.
This greeting SO pleased the actress that
she did short stunt Of speech making
| in each Of the five acts of the play. II
there is anything where Carrie Is strong
| it is talking to a public audience. The
words flow quite easily. Advice from Car.
rie on the question of the downing Of the
| Demon Rum may be expected at any
| moment.
l But the grand climax Of the play-per-
haps it should be called clim-Ax with
| the accent on the last syllable. was
reached In Act w, where Carrie wrecks
| the tavern with her Ratchet
/ Whoop! Bang!! The applause was
I deafening as Carrie strobe up and down
smashing bottles and glasses and upsettins
| chairs and tables. She had to appear
twice before the curtain at the end of
this act. Flourishing her ak, she ex-
| claimed:
II would like to smash ten Elizabeth
harrooms like this every night
| There can be no doubt that Carrie is
a show! But isn't 1t rather pitiful? Think
| of your own dear old grandma, so COM
Portable and necessary in the home. wan
dering around behind the footlights at
1890 o'clock at night when she should be
| reading her DAILY Help for Daily Needs
4 preliminary to retiring for the night
Think of her fighting with windmills.
making display Of herself and eliciting
the mirth of the ungodly. We claim that
/ it is pitiful. We may be wrong.
"A. J. K.
HE PLAYED THE HoRsEFLY
| IL a 5.,so. ~ -