The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-07-02

The Oyster Bay Season

To Oyster Bay.
And the wires are kept hot
Sending out the usual rot
FROM that famous seaside spot,
Oyster Bay
II Teddy takes a nap
At Oyster Bay,
Twill be wired Ger all the map
From Oyster Bay.
Should the baby chance to fall
Bump its nose and start to bawl,
The facts come to us all
From Oyster Bay.
Should Ted. jr.. take a ride
At oyster Bay,
Or should papa warm his hide
At oyster Bay.
should the house cat chance 70 sit
on the stove and throw a fit
We would shortly hear Of IL
From Oyster Bay.
If q shower should come up
At Oyster Bay.
We should know II ere we sup
From Oyster Bay;
Should a bird light on the grass,
Or fly creep Ger the glass,
1t won't be allowed to pass
At Oyster Bay.
There will nothing get away
At oyster Bay;
Wen know all they do and say
At oyster Bay;
But If II hadn't been for Ted
We fear little would be said
nd things might be rather dead
At Oyster Bay.
A sign in a Main street window
reads: Boys wanted with wheels"
About this time of year people who love
quiet will contend that any boy will fill
the bill.
A recently published table on ex-
penses at Yale shows that one man got
through the year on 500, while another
spent $1,000. The man who only spent
800 will probably some time be worth
enough to sport a son who can spend
S11 900.
We would not advise mothers of fat
babies to restrict the diet of their in
fants just because learned doctors have
agreed that lean babies are the strong
est We know of several fat babies
that have reached maturity.
The announcement that local stone
cutters are striking should not be taken
to mean that they are striking stones.
It appears there are manifold phases
to the trouble in the postofice trouble
also.
! While the state department will take
no official notice" of the cracks made
/ by the Colombian consul general at
! project, nevertheless the state depart
ment wants every one to understands
/ that the gentleman is too mOuthy.
That Alabama sheriff who was shot
/ while resisting a mob is no doubt en-
titled to great credit for his devotion
to duty, but at the same time he should
! know better than to attempt to inter-
fere with so popular a diversion as
/ lynching.
A recent occurrence indicates that
! the name Liberty park does not mean
that everything goes at the resort.
However. there is no reason in the
world why the members of the national
guard should not go out individually
and enjoy a week Of camp life If they
are so anxious to have an outing.
The small boys are exerting every
effort to secure money to burn this
week.
William Cory of Pittsburg has been
made assistant to President Schwab OF
the steel trust. 1t is understood his
chief duty will be to meet reporters
and give them repeated assurance that
Mr.. Schwab's health is good.
| to become the target of camera fiends
is depIiving the world of many views
of rugged scenery.
If the members of the new Salt Lake
automobile club wish TO do the right
thing they will arrange for an aux
Hilary ambulance corps. thereby saving
local hospitals much trouble.
/ Salt Lake now has a new and vital
interest in affairs in the northwest.
The great question is: Can our base
ball team skin the teams up there?
BY saying total abstainers should re-
frain from using soda water because il
is by-p;'lduct of breweries, Professor
Alexander Smith of the University of
Chicago has not made any friends
among either producers or consumers
of soda water.
That new combination door knob
which does away with a key will not
become very popular. 1t is harder to
a keyhOle.
If any one should try to persuade you
to buy fur cloak next fall revert back
to the costume she is wearing this sum-
mer as proof that she is not likely to
take cold.
1t is really interesting to note how
many distinguished statesmen there
are who do not desire the Republican
nomination for vice president, but it is
safe to say that # nice, big conven-
ton offered it they would be too polite
to disappOint so many friends.
Fortunately we shall not be deprived
of the companionship of our old friend,
the school question: much longer.
= If any of the state judges have ruled
against accepting increased salary the
decision has been reserved.
You may not have observed it. but
the fact remains that the anti-smoke
ordinance is still in effect.
Any attorney who may be cOntem-
plating sending a witness away to pre-
vent the witness testifying is respect
fully advised that it would be well to
take precautions to keep the witness
out Of the state
After a busy and eventful life the old
sport had died and four of his former
associates gathered at the house to sit
up during the night. As the time
dragged slowly along it was proposed
that a-small poker game be started and
the suggestion was acted upon. the
friends feeling that the life of the de-
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