Bisbee daily review., 1903-04-04
QUEER MIR. FLINDERS
IOriginai.l

"Blinders. what a beautiful beard you wear"
 "Glad you like :t," said BiinderA, lighting up. "I don't value it very, highly myself"
 What n you take for it?"
 ''Take for it2 Why. what could is beneft any one but me?'
 That isn't the question. You say you don't value it. l would like ta buy it.
 When would you want itr'
 Buyer thirty-which, being inter-, preted. means any time within thirty, days"
 "What Fl you giye?"
 "A hundred dollars"
 By love. that's good sum- AnA Flinders began to think what he could do with a hundred dollars.
 "Oh, l see your gamer he said pres. ently. You'll call for it by sections. That would leave me in a beautiful fix. wouldn't itY
 'I'il call for it all at once"
 After rummaging his brain to find . catch somewhere Flinders gave me . bill of sale for his beard-to be caileA. for anywhere within thirty days or forfeit double the price
 Now there was a reason for all this which Binders did not understand. He was the wealthiest bachelor in the town as well as the stingiest One day number of ladies came to me andk asked me if l could suggest a plan by yrr h Ass1d I him for benevolent enterprise. I told them l would think it over.
 Blinders was a pushing fellow not only in business, but socially. He was a self made man. which was to his credit. but he didn't know what the word modesty meant. His assurance In making his way into society" was only equaled by his embarrassment whenever he blundered into breach of etiquette. He was in constant ter TOT lest he should appear in some un- fortunate position.
 The ladies were getting up a ball for the benefit of their charity and had ap- pointed me one of the floor managers, l wrote requesting that my name be dropped and Flinders put on in it's stead. This was done, and BlinderA was so delighted that he at once seat the ladies q check for Si0,
 You are very bright" said the pres ident of the society to me. "It is & wonder that we didn't think of that ourselves"
 Possibly MT. Binders donation may be far more worthy of his social ele- vation." l replied. than a niggardIy S10. Let us wait"
 On the night of the ball Binders waa on hand resplendent in evening dress. wearing the lowest cut white waist coat, straw coiOred gloves and a pale green necktie that some wag had told him was the very latest thing for bails. No Indian chief decorated with stove- pipe hat and soldier coat had ever borne himself more proudly. I watch ed him till his self satisfaction bad reached its height; then, putting on my hat and coat. went out. Ten min- utes later an attendant handed him .. note from me written from a neigh boring barber shop demanding hia beard
 There was look of extreme anxiety on his face as he came in; but, att tempting to master it. he came up to, me with T laugh aud. skipping me fa- millarly on the back, said confidently:
 It's very cute of you old fellow. aw- fully cute. Of course you don't want your property now. You want bottle of champagne. and you shall have 1t, besides good supper after the bali, And now l must hurry back. The president has done me the honor to say she can't get on without me"
 Tt won't take long. Sit down in tue chair"
 You really don't mean that you are in earnest? Think how I would IcoS going back clean shaved"
 You don't need to lose your beard, There is the forfeit, you know"
 Good gracious, man, the forfeit is s2OOw
 Tt only rests with you, Biinders," said resoluteiy. ito give me your beard or pay the forfeit
 He looked into my eye and saw that I was not to be cajoled or browbeatea or in any way deprived of my advsn- ut lIEOuSp his mind. and his love of money for a time prevailed. lie determined to re- main away from the ball for the rest of the evening.
 'Ail right" I said. What excuse will you giYeT"
 Suddenly taken ill.,"
 I smiled
 T suppose you'll knock down that story and"-
 'The whole thing will be all over tha ballroom in ten minutes"
 He turned pale.
 What II you take to settie!" hs asked.
 "Will Binders. I don't want your beard or your money. Write check payable to the president of the society for S20O. and I'll cali it square. You can then finish the evening in & position for which you are so well fitted with out so sudden a transition, and your Iiberality will be sounded by every one. As for me, I'll keep the affair num-"
 "I haven't a check with me-"
 q have" And l pulled a blank check from my pocketbook.