The Indianapolis journal., 1903-08-02

OF THE
T Q w N

'sThe telephone is the cause of my trouble.
and / sometimes think these phones. while
they are great invention. stir UP an awful
lot OF MISUNDERSTANDING and vexatious lit
tie affairs" Mr.. W. Vance Martin looked
pale and hoIlow-eyed and his appearance
did not belle his statement. Mr.. Martin Is
a popular young bachelor who lives In a
fat in the north part of Indianapolis. He Is
young man of cultured taste and likes his
comfort. His rooms are marvels of cozi-
ness and neatness. His couches are piled
with the daintiest Of cushions and his walls
and mantels are covered with pictures and
souvenirs. The faces OF pretty girls, digni-
fed girls, short girls and tall girls look
down from the mantels. and here and there
is an easel which contains a stunning-look-
ing photograph. A few months ago Mr..
Martin had New telephone placed in his
apartments There is an old phone in the
fiat which serves the general public. Un-
fortunately. Mr. Martin possessed the only
private phone in the house. Being at
tached to a newspaper. he thought he need
ed phone and he put il there as strict
business proposition He did not place 1t
there as a convenience TO the inhabitants of
the fat. Within a few weeks after the
phone was put up Mr.. Martin discovered
that his apartments were becoming popu-
ls-e place in his absence with the women of
the fat. He always left his rooms open for
the tanitress to do her work, but he soon
d5C o,ered that he was having other fem
hire callers. He also discovered that the
Telephone on his table was the particular
attraction. He soon became the most pop
ular man in the fiat The ladies gave him
sweet smiles all occasions and said 1t
was "such a convenience TO have phone
so handy" Sometimes Martin would drop
In during the middle of the afternoon to
take nap. and when he did so he usually
had TO clear the room of femininity. The
women got TO meeting there mornings and
afternoons to use his telephone, and, be-
sides. they found his apartments an ideal
place in which to spend an hour in HARM
less gossip. They made themselves COM
Portable while waiting for telephone calls
and occasionally found it pleasant to criti-
else the photographs of his women ac-
auaintances. Finally they got to telling
their friends to call them up at such and
such a number, which was Martins tele-
phone AT length this extremely polite and
affable young bachelor grew weary. One
afternoon he came home half sick and
rest before dinner. AS he approached his
door a young woman. stepping from dark
recess in the corridor where she had been
doing sentinel duty, headed him off. please
don't go in there" she whispered, pointing
10 his door Mrs. Blank is using your tel
ephone. and-and besides. she's in negli-
gee" Being polite and gallant man. Mr..
Martin waited outside his door for twenty
minutes until his caller completed her talk
over the phone. Then the sentry in the
hall asked him if he would not please ''step
back somewhere" so that Mrs Blank could
get TO her own room. for she really
not presentable." This episode was the
eliminating one of long list of what Mr..
Martin called "outrages," and he decided it
was time to act. He concluded that one OF
two things must be done-either take out
the phone put up a sign. He decided TO
do the latter. The other morning woman
Of the fat wearing a pink dressing sack
tripped down the hall and lodged into Mar
tins apartments to use the phone. She
Drought UP quite suddenly before a piece
of white paper pinned to the phone and
bearing several lines of a mans bold
scrawl Mr. Martin" the lines read,
would not take the liberty OF entering the
bedroom OF any of his fellow-boarders in
their absence. He asks that the SAME
CONSIDERATION be shown to him." The
woman in the dressing sack hesitated, read
the words again and stalked out of the
apartment. II is needless TO relate that w.
Vance Martin is no longer a social favorite
IN the fat. and. in fact, is not on speaking
terms with any of the ladies. 80 you see."
he remarked. I've been worried into this
paler and this hollow-eyed appearance. It's
all the telephones fault
.Speakin' of wah,'' interrupted Mr.. John
sing colored barber on East Washington
street. as he sat on the step of his own
shop, listening 10 the stories of the even
ing loungers that held down the riekety
chairs along the sidewalk. I've tasted
heap O. that devilish game in my speri-
ences- You gentlemen rec'llect-"
Hold on, Johnsing." interposed a tall
negro in the chair farthest from him. cram
ing his neck between his knees. which
were tilted higher than his head. who's
been speakin' bout wah. I'd like to know?
Amt none OF these niggers said nothin'
bout no devilish game of wah. Stick to fax,
Johnsing We amt tellin nothin' here but
actual fax an amt that right?'
Yes. tits. tits indeed" chorused a num-
told a straight story yit''
Johnsing remained silent, his shiny face
twitching and the white in his eyes almost
fully disclosed while his black. beady eyes
were set upon the cramped figure in the end
chair. He was about 10 speak when the
tall negro who had interrupted him, con-
tinued
Now sense the mattah of wah has been
mentioned, l want TO tell little incident of
my personal experiences in the devilish
game. as Johnsing calls hit, in which /
was severely-severely injured an
thought the good Lord had called me home
: TO shore. You'll all remember that pah-
ticipated in the great battle and was among
fine fohmost in the charge up San Vain
mill. 1t was in the evening that we got the
command from the gen'ral TO charge them
Spinards and so when night come we went
siippin' I'D the hill jist as easy as pos
sums Ole Sam Wells was next to me and
ef We was agon' after the parsons chick
ems no two coons could have gone quieter
then US. We was right up near the front.
too. and We knowed that ef they was any
shootin' done from the forts we'd get il
Gndd Can rfo