The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-13

beats them down, and destroys them ut
terly? So many fail by merely beating
them down. OF course If an untidy litter is
left we make row. We reconstruct the
thenceforth deprived of a combatant S
rights. What a dear you are that | can say
these things TO you. Were girls so frank in
Well, my knight of the golden cross
Coke; laughter aud loud applause, and
cries OF Go on.) has little, much in
deed, of the impetuous in him, but. alas,
not enough. He has a pretty talent for 1t,
but no genius. If L were married to him to-
morrow, as surely as | am woman
should be made to infiict pain upon him the
next day, with an insane stress TO show
him, perhaps, L was not the ideal woman
he had thought me-perhaps out OF Jeal-
ousy of that very ideal 1 had inspired-ra-
tional creatures, aren't we?-beg pardon
not we. then. but L. Now he. being real
likable man OF man. can | do that-for
money? Do | want the money badly
enough? Would | not even rather be pen
niless with the man who coerced every
great passion and littlest impulse, body
and soul-perhaps with very hateful inso-
lence of power over me? Do you know. |
suspect sometimes that I've been trained
down too fine, as to my nerves, | mean.
doubt IL it's safe to pamper and trim and
stimulate and refine woman i'm that hot
house atmospheric least if she's a
healthy woman. She's too apt sometimes
10 break her gait. get the bit of tradition
between her teeth, and then let her i'm
pulses run away with ner.
oh, Mutterchen, | am so sick and sore,
and yet filled with a strange new zest for
this old puzzle of life. Will / ever be the
same again? This man is going to ask me
TO marry him the moment | am ready for
him TO. Shall | be kind enough TO tell him
no. or shall j steel myself to go in and hurt
him-make him writhe?
And yet do you know what he gave me
while L was with him? L wonder If women
feel 1t commonly? Ii was desire for moth
erhood-a curiously vivid and very definite
longing-entirely irrespective of him. you
understand, although he inspired ii. With
out loving him or being at all moved to-
ward him, he made me sheerly want TO be
a mother: Or is IL only that men we don't
love make us feel motherly?
Am / wholly irrational and selfish and
bad, or what am 1 :? know you'll love me,
whatever IL is. and i wish now L could
snuggle on that soft, cushiony shoulder of
Can anything be more pitiful that "a fine
old family" afflicted with dry rot like ours?
I'm always amused when l read about the
suffering in the tenements. The real an
guish is up in the homes like ours. We have
to do without so very many more things,
and mere hunger and cold are easy COM
pared 10 the suffering we feel.
Perhaps when I'm back TO that struggle
for appearances. I'll relent and barter my
charms the old novels used to say.
sanely and decently like a well brought-up
to a man who can support the family in the
style to which IT wants TO become accus-
t0meQ. YET tnere may De way out. 1nere
is a Bines daughter. for example, and
mamma, who never does one half where
she can as we'll do two. will marry her to
Fred il she can. On the other hand, Joe
Drelmer was putting in words for young
Mauburn, who will be Lord Casselthorpe
when his disreputabe old uncle dies.
She hasn't yet spent what she got for
introducing the Canovass prince to that
oldest Elarton girl. so If she secures this
prize for Mauburn, she'll be comfortable
for couple of more years. Perhaps / could
turn my hand to something like that 1
know the ropes as well as she does.
There, it is punishment of letter.
isn't II, dear? But I've known every bad
place In ii. and I've religiously put in your
"Come, come. child," every time 1t be-
longed, so you've not still TO scold me, for
which be comforted a little and give me
only a few words of cheerful approval if
your conscience will let you. / need that,
after ALL more than advice. Look for us i'm
a week. With bear-hug for you,
p S. Is ii true that Ned Ristine and
his wife have fixed 1t up and are together
again since his return? Not that I'm inter-
ested especially, but / CHANGED to hear it
gossiped the other day here on the car. In
deed, hope you know how thoroughly I
detest that man.
ITO be Continued Tomorrow