davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
Frank W. Buchanan

DRUGGIST.

The need of lead pencil caused
lady who rode in street car the other
day no small embarrassment.
She sat running over her shopping
list when suddenly she thought of
something to add to it. She looked In
her pocketbook and ransacked all its
divisions, cardcase and all but no pen
Gil did she find. Modestly she hest
tated about asking her neighbors but
with a quick resolve she finally leaned
toward a gentleman seated by her and,
holding up her list, said loud enough
for those in adjacents seats to hear
Excuse me, sir, may l borrow your
necktie a momentW
The gentleman's establishment was
expressed in his silent facial contor
tons until the lady REDEEMED deeply.
My necktie, madam" he replied
with arched eyebrC IS.
Didn't | say pencil" she asked
And then everybody, grinning behind
newspapers. knew what the lady add
ed to her list. Exchange.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

In the course of an article on animal
sense perceptions. in which special at
tention is directed TO nauseous or of
fensiye odors as a means of protection,
readers against regarding animal eti-
ology too much from the human stand
point Because animals cannot speak
we must not assume that they have no
modes of communication; it is by no
means certain that the ordinary ex
PLANTATION OF warning colors' is the
true one while the evil smell of the
DURAN frat does not render it distaste-
full either to the orang or To man him.
self
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

It is lamentable that neither repeated
warning nor sad experience seems to
have the desired effect Of making the
ordinary person cautious In the use of
poisons. In the last few days three
children have died presumably from
taking poison that was carelessly left
within their reach. One would suppose
that such accidents would by this time
have become almost impossible, yet
they are constantly recurring with
frequency that demands further warn
ing. If parents would learn to keep
poisOns In place where they could not
be reached by others there would be
fewer accidents.
1t is the old principle of familiarity
breeding contempt. 1t cannot be too
strongly impressed upon every one that
the only immunity from danger is
through constant care and precaution.
1t is lesson that needs to be impressed
upon every individual without excep-
Inquirer.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
1t Didn't Work,

In his lecture Love, Courtship and
Marriage" delivered In the Lebanon
Valley College chapel several years
ago, Rev. John De Witt Miller of Phila-
delphia said that men should kiss their
wives as they did when they were a
year or two married. When the lecture
was over an old man went home, put
his arm around his wife's neck and
kissed her.
Meeting the lecturer some time after,
he said, ITS no CO."
What isn't?' said the lecturer.
"Vel," said the man, wen | kissed my
wife she said, Watts gone wrong NIT
you, you Quilt fool, your"
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
deadly Prnaaic Acid.

Prussc acid is composed of such
things as animal refuse and blood sol
ids, with large quantities of oil of
vitriol. Even the smell of the acid pro
duces pain In the throat and in the re-
gion of the heart, and there are few
poisons for which there is such little
opportunity for an antidote. If there
is tlme-and there seldom is. for the
poison is almost instantaneous In its
action ammonia inhaled very freely
may give relief and reduce the abso-
lutte certainty of death to a grave prob
ability
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
woman's Sense of Humor.

1t certainly seems that in much of
the humor of women there is a trait
closely allied to the retort courteous, as
shown, for instance, in the following
citations. 1t was woman who. en- re.
vanche and with gentle satire said. Il
am sorry for man; just at that awk-
ward age between the ape and the an
gel" Another woman it was who re-
marked after reading the Carlyle let
ters, Eyes, it is true; Mrs. Carlyle was
a martyr, but she wasn't a good mar
tyr, or we'd never have heard of it."
Better known is the anecdote of the
learned and fastidious New England
woman who, being in need of pin.
was asked by friend, who was some
what in awe of her. what kind of pin
she wanted and hit off the situation
wittily with her indignant reply, THE
common white pin of North America"
In all these instances one may discern
something of 1.-THE look downward" 1t
would be interesting to know il this
is characteristic Of the humor of the
sex.-Century.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

Marriage without love is almost a
crime. In fact, it would be regarded
as one if the world were as true. as
simple, as sincere, as it ought to be-
But society has so long wandered in a
maze of complexity, and marriage,
from monarchs downward, is under
taken for such a variety Of reasons
apart from love, that only a few retain
the correct impression about it. And of
these few the majority are women or
girls who would rather die than marry
man they did not love. Sir Walter
Scott knew this well when he wrote
1.-The Bride of Lammermoor" His
noble, gentle true and tender spirit,
aware of what love is, could well com
pute the horror of lOveless marriage.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01


l WAS expecting a letter at Dakota
postotiice. and when | went to inquire
for it found the postmaster to be
doubtful of my identity.
"Sure you're the MANI" he asked.
"Of course"
"Willlng to make affidavit to IT."
81 am"
Not after any one elses lettersY
"No. sir"
"Willlng to swear and sign your
nameY
81 told you l was"
"Where would the letter be FROM"
he continued.
Boston, perhaps"
"And written to your"
Certainly. You seem to be over
particular here"
Eyes. mebbe | am, but being as no.
body here has got a letter for the last
month and being as there is none for
you and not likely to be | thought l
wouldn't take any desperate chances,
you know"
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

An amusing story is told Of New
England minister who often speaks in
behalf Of a certain charity in which he
Is greatly interested. He has a fine
voice and graphic way of telling in
cidents both humorous and pathetic,
so that his hearers are often moved
to laughter or to tears"
At the close of one meeting, at which
he had spoken with great effect, and
large gain for the charity had been
the direct result, little old lady ap-
preached the minister.
oh she said earnestly, I've been
so interested In hearing about those
poor, dear children! And l suppose a
great many of those stories you told
are really true, aren't they Y-Youth's
Companion.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

The people have given singular and
amusing names to many neighborhoods
In Missouri says the Kansas City Star
In Caldwell county are Zion. Lick fork
and Polo. Echo Dell. Gabtown and
Dawson City are in Worth county. In
Nodaway county are Toad Hollow.
Sunrise and Postum Walk. and in
Henry county is Coal Pigeon Creek
and Centennial are in Atchison county;
River Dots, Splawn Ridge and Civil
Bend in Dayess county; Sleepy Hollow
and Ivy Hill in Sullivan county, and
Esrom Echoes in Butler county. These
are Just few names picked at random
from the country correspondence of the
county seat press. Sometimes a pretty
or suggestive name is given neighbor-
hood, but generally the aim Of the
christener seems to have been TO confer
the harshest or most amusing appella-
ton he could think of
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
A Marvellous Invention.

Wonders never cease. A machine has
been invented that will cut, paste and
hang wall paper. The field of inven-
tons and discoveries seems to be un
limited, Notable among great discov-
cries is DR.. Kings New Discovery for
Consumption. 1t has done world of
good for weak lungs and saved many a
life. Thousands have used it and con-
quered Grip, Bronchitis, Pneumonia and
consumption. Their general verdict is:
ats the best and most reliable medi-
cine for throat and lung troubles. Every
SOC and Sl.00 bottle is guaranteed by
George f. Sampson, Druggist, Trial
bottles free.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

|" BOOK MAILED FREE.
A. A. lFEVERS, Congestions, Infamma-
CURES lions. Lung Fever, Milk Fever.
ID. b. sPRAINs. Lamfness. Injuries.
CURES Rheumatism.
c. g. SORE THROAT Qufnsy Epiz0otic.
CURES Distemper.
c CO. n WORMS. Bots. Grubs.
e. Z. COUGHS, Colds, Influenza, Iniiamed
CURES Lungs. Pieuro- Pine umonia.
r. Il. COLO. Bellyache. Wind Blown,
CURES Dfarrhea, Dysentery.
g. G.. Prevents MISCARRIAGE.
I Nm ~: KIDNEY Il BLADDER DISORDERS.
IL. lsKIN DISEASES, Mango, Eruptions.
CURES Ulcers, Grease, Farcy.
j. H. BAD CONDITION, Staring Coat,
CURES Indigestion, Stomach Staggers.
eOc. EACH Stable Case, Ten Specifics, Book &C, 81
At druggists, sent prepaid on receipt of price.
Humphrey Medicine Co., Cor. William John
Streets, New York.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
Some People
Can't Eat
Bread

Bread is reputed to be the "staff
of life, yet there are some people
who never eat bread. We allude
to this because of a curious paral.
lei fact in medicine. Ifeven bread
does not suit quite everybody, we
don't expect one medicine, even
Vlnol, to cure everybody.
But we recommend Vinol and
sell 1t on a guarantee of money
back if it does not benefit the user.
Though we cant expect all to
be cured, yet, strange to say, out
of every one hundred bottles sold,
less than two per cent proved
unsatisfactory, In other words,
ninety-eight out of every hundred
found Ninol of value - many of
them of very great value.
We want to say that if you are
rundown, weak, too thin, ailing,
with bad stomach, poor appetite,
cough, nervousness, that we think
Vinol will help you. At any rate,
it will cost nothing to try it.
You can have your money back if
you say it doesn't help you. Vinol
has pleasant taste, and is recon-
mended by physicians as a safe
andunusually effective body-builder
and general tonic.
Our Vinlax, for constipation, is
Vinols companion remedy, sold on
fha game Guarantee
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
CnnnnIimentnrN.

"Gentlemen.' said Il judge addressing
the jury in a recent Irish case reported
in Law Notes. You have heard the evil
dence. The indictment says the pris-
oner was arrested for stealing n pig.
The ofIenSe seems To be becoming
common ON. The time has come when
1t must bo put stop 10. otherwise. gen
tlemen, none of you Will be safe
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
Palmo Tablets

transform weak, broken-down, nerv-
Gus wrecks into magnificent types of
physical perfection. They restore
the nerves and kidneys to their normal
conditions and make you look and
feel years younger. Guaranteed 30
cents. Book Free. The S. r. Fell
Co., Cleveland, O.
sold by r. ". BUCKNAM. Druggist.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
First judicial Honors For n woman.

To Henry VIII. belongs the honor of
having conferred judicial rights upon
a woman. Lady Anne Berkeley Of
York was allowed by the sovereign,
who had the widest experience of the
virtues of women, to sit as judge
appoint a commission and actually to
pass sentence on some men who had
been killing her deer and despoiling
her park
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
Both Involved.

Mr.. Younghusband reading from
paper)-"M Observation-Disclosures de Smythe
to Walter Wellington Beere." What old
memories that name aWakens!
Mrs. Y. blushing)-I never imagined
you knew of my engagement to Walter.
Mr.. Y. (chillingly)-I was abiding TO
Blanche
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

What did that lady have the screen
across one part of the room for, MAJ
asked little Harry, who had been max
ing call with his mother.
81 suppose she had something there
she didn't want seen replied his
mother.
And was that the reason. ma, that
when you thought she wasn't looking
you peeped behind it,
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

Husband during the spaD-I must
have been a fool when | married you.
Wife-Undoubtedy But the old
adage still holds good.
Observation-Disclosures that?
Wife-A fool for luck.-Chicago
News
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
DR.. EmmOns'

Monthly Regulator has brought happiness to
ly no other remedy known to medical science
that will 80 quickly and safely do the work.
Longest and most obstinate irregularities from
anteed at any stage. No pain, danger, or inter.
ference with work. Have relieved hundreds of
cases where others have failed. The most diff
cult cases successfully treated by mail and ben
risk whatsoever. We treat hundreds of ladies
WHOM we never see. Write for further particu:
lars and free confidential advice. Do not put on
too long. llletters truthfully answered. Re.
member, this remedy Is absolutely safe under
every possible condition and positively leaves
no after Ill effect upon the health. Sent by mail,
securely sealed, $500. Money letters should be
registered. DIR. j. w. EMMONS CO., 40 Trc.
mont St.. Boston. Mass.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

You were never compelled to ask
for a yindication?"
"a yindication?" echoed Senator Sor4
ghum scornfully. Il should say not
My motto is Don't get caught in the
first place. Washington Star.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
Wei Dressed.

She-Go away. you nuisance! You
don't know when woman Is well
dressed.
He-Oh, yes, do. 1t is when she is
head and shoulders above her gown,
and when the lower part of it is in the
way of a fellows feet,-Boston Tran
script
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

The Wife, believe that Mrs. Rivers
thinks | am a fool
The Husband There is evidence of
that
"Of what?"
THAT she thinks you are fool, my
dear. smart Sci.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
Will Make
Affidavit
saow Lease Of Life for an aowa
Postmaster.

Postmaster R. 81. Randall, Dunlap, To-,
says: suffered from indigestion and re-
sulting evils for years. Finally / tried
Kodol. soon knew had found what
/ had long looked for. am better today
than in years. Kodol gave me . new
lease Of life. Anyone can have my af-
fdavit to the truth Of this statement.
Kodol digests your food. This enables the
system to assimilate supplies, strengthen
ing every organ and restoring health.
kodol Makes You Strong.
Prepared only by e. @. DEWITT & Co.. Chicago.
The q. bottle contains M timss the SOC. size.
For sale by GEO 4. sAMPSON. skowhezap
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

"Sr" questioned an irate female
shopper as she bounced upon small
man who was pacing the store, are
you the hoorwalkerf"
"N-n-no, ma'am," he gaS9ed. lin
o-o-only the p-p-proprietor.'
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

There is no sorrow have thought
more about than that to love what is
great and try to reach it and yet to
fail.-George Eliot.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

How was it that he managed to
pull the wool over your eyesf"
"Well, he had fleeced several fellows
before | met him"
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

There are plenty Of actors who act
like actors, too few who act like real
human beings. State Journal.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
Phi. II + -
Winchester Pile Cure 1iquid taken internally.
Does This by Killing the Pile
Formations-Monsy Back
80 II 1t Fails to Cure.

So many thousands Of people have been cured
Of all kinds Of Piles Protruding, Bleeding In
ternal and External and Chronic Constipation
by Winchester Pile Cure that We will refund tbs
price paid II not cured. Sufferers from Piles
who have been cured by Winchester Pile Cure
are grateful enough and glad TO pay the price Of
medicine for a cure. We stand behind our own
remedy. We know that 1t cures
winchester Pile Cure Is
pleasant tasting liquid remedy, which when
taken internally acts directly on the lower bow
els. kills the pile formations in the blood, grad
ually softens and dissolyeS away the growths
and a permanent cure is made Suppositories
or surgical operations give only temporary re-
lief. IL tired Of these. then try Winchester Pile
Cure. Perfectly safe To take.
persona1 tia $50 s-1ss s-S5s. Boy bc>Sl=
for 81 Of any Of the leading druggists, take a.
directed and perfect never TO- return cure will
be made The intense itching stops in a day or
two. IL not cured your money will be promptly
refunded without argument. The decision of .
cure Is left entirely with you. We trust you i'm
phcitly. Winchester Pile Cure will also improve
your digestion build you up. give you pure, rich
blood ana restore you TO the pleasures of home,
life and business At druggists. or by express
81. Address WINCHESTER PILE CURE CO.,
Medford, Mass. Circulars free We are a relia-
bic company 10000 behind our unconditional
guarantee. We keep our promises absolutely
sold In skowhegan, Me-, by G. r. Fogg.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01
BRACKET & RUSSELL,
PROBATE NOTICES.
To All persons interested in either of tks
Estates hereinafter named.
SECOND TUESDAY OF DECEMBER

al A PROBATE COURT held at skov he
kAAgsn, in and for the county of Son erset.
The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1903-01-01

For Sale by GEO K. SAMPSON,
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-12-09
Two Famous Archers.

A curious lawsuit regarding the OWL
crship of lands was tried recently III
Ceylon. The trouble originated ut al
archery competition held by King Para
krania Bahu VI, who ruled over Ccy
lon in the fifteenth century. in Wh'cI'
there were two champions who Outdi>'
tanced all the rest and alike hit every
mark that was submitted to them. The
king was about to divide the prize when
from neighboring pond frog was
heard to croak. The king seized upon
solution and declared that whichever
could hit the frog. aiming only by ear
should gain the prize. One Of the arch
ers tranSfiXcd the frog with the arrow
SO delighted was the monarch that. l."
sides the original prize. he gave to th'
winner an CStAt" Of 10000 acres. ="
claimants in the lawsuit were TIE d'
SCcndHntS Of tn" arChOE.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-12-09
Taking Pleasure Swiftly.

Take time to be merry. to "have n
good time" and you will double your
possibilities Of health, wealth and hap
piness. AnglO-SaXons are made fun OF
because they take even their pleasures
sadly. Their American cousins, with
characteristic energy, make a business
of it. Ian Maclaren's story Of the
American who was doing the United
Kingdom is a good Illustration Of
Jonathan's method of pleasuring. y
visitors card was brought to DIR. Wat
son Qan Maclaren) in his study, but
before he had time to read it his Wis
itor stood before him and announced
himself. "Aly name is Elijah *. Hig
gins" he said breathlessly, land | am
a busy man. You are also busy and
have no time to fool away. Four days
are all can give to the United King
dom. and wished to shake hands with
you. Goodby. am off to Drum
tochtyw-Succcss.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-12-09

several brothers and sisters and
husband.
M. E. Sunday School Board
The M E. Sunday school board
net Monday night at the church
ard elected the following officers
for the Sunday school for the next
year, viz: DR.. M. M. Reppard,
superintendent; K S. Boreman, as
sistart superintendent; George
Shepherd, secretary; Eta Barnes,
assistant secretary; Martha Furbee,
treasurer; Mary Mcknight, librarian.
DR.. Reppard has served FIVE con-
secutive years as superintendent of
the NJ E Sunday school and will
enter upon the duties of said Office
for the sixth year on January 1st,
1904
10. T. M. Lodge oreanized-
Mrs. Helen T. Burt, of Detroit.
Michigan, Supreme Deputy Of
Grand Lodge L. o. T. M. to organ
lie a local hive of the L. o. T. M.
She Is meeting with success and a
lodge will be instituted about the
18th or 18th of this month. The
me mbers OF the Alma and Sisters.
Vile Hives will assist In the install
ment of officers. The new lodge
will be composed mainly of the
ladies here now members OF the
Alma Hive will be duly transferred,
About IS of the new members will
carry bene fetal Insurance add will
start of with between 80 or 40
members. A bar quet will be served
after the installation In the K OFF
Hall where the lodge will hold It's
regular meetings for time.
Joe Maxwell, the jolly pedagogue
of Elk Fork, Is a member OF the
petit jury this term and does not
object to serving on the jury as
many good citizens do.
Sheriff Grim Is keeping the bas-
tile with one lone prisoner now.
He started In at the beginning OF
the term with six but by trial and
release for failure OF grand to lndict
tor want of evidence, the number
was thinned out to one who Is un'
der sentence to the penitentiary
and awaiting the presentation OF
his case to the supreme court for
an appeal.
A. B. Moore, the genial court
stenographer, has been here all
term and has taken the evidence In
all the contested cases In which a
record may be needed for an appeal.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-12-09
A Promising Oil Country.

The Creek, Usage and Cherokee
Nations In Indian Territory are re
ceiving wide recognition as a pro-
missing oil country, and capital and
development have SO far brought
handsome results. The oil Is Of
superior quality; the territory Is
reached directly by the Frisco Sys-
tenn, who Issues free of charge,
booklet, giving full data concerning
the country and Its possibilities
Mailed to any address upon request
to Sidney VanDuseu, 700, Park
Bldg, Bittsburg, Pa. lit
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-12-09
San Cura Cures FelOnS.

San-Cura Ointment has removed
the pain in a few moments from a
bone felon and frog telon and made
a complete cure IN few days, when
ordinarily 1t takes weeks and
months to cure them and then leav'
ing dishgured finger or hard. Il
had frog feIon on my hand that
kept me awake nights. San-Curs
Ointment removed the pain In a
few minutes and opened the felon,
drawing out the pus and healing 1t
completely In one week"
Z. T. Drake, McGraw, Pa.
Druggists, 25c and soc, or
Thompson Medical Co., Titusville,
Pa
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-12-09

several brothers and sisters and
husband.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-12-09
EVER WATCHFUL
A Little Care Will Save the
Reader Future Trouble.

Watch the kidney secretions,
See that they have the amber
hue Of health.
The discharges not excessive or
infrt quent.
Coutaius no brick.dust like sedl-
ment.
Doan's Kidney Pills will do this
for you.
They watch the kidneys and cure
hem when they're sick.
Mr.. John Zolleis, city auditor,
re,!diug at 73I Robert street, New
port, Ky., says: "a man who has
never had backache or kidney COM
plaiut In any of Its many forms can
scarcely gauge the misery a sufferer
erd rres who Is annoyed day and
night by this far too prevalent
trouble. To all such my advice IS
procure Doan's Kidney Pills and
take a course of the treatment.
The result of the use OF three boxes
proved 10 me that the remedy Is up
to representations and deserves my
ar qualified Endorsement"
For sale by all dealers. Price,
so cents a box. ster-Milburn
company, Buffalo, N. Y, sole
agents for the U. S.
Remember the name-Doan s.
and take no other.