The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-26
The NONPAREIL MAN

Discussion OF the Thesis of Massachu-
sets Professor That Love Is Likely
to Be Felt In the Breast Of Child Of
Three Years-EarIy Remembrances Of
the "Grand Passions OF Youth-The
Little Girl Of Eight with TWO Plgtails
Down Her Neck and the Blind Devo.
tIon She Aroused In Our World Weary,
EnnuIed Bosom at the Age of Ten.
According to Massachusetts, profess
sor, love begins, or is liable to begin, at
the age Of g. AS nearly as we can re-
member, we didn't have an exclusive"
best girl until we were T. There were
several touches of the grand passion be-
fore this date. but they were crowded out
by Baseball, Kick the Stick, Shinney,
Three Old Cat, Barn Tic, Scrub, Jesse
James. Moceasin Nose and Head
and Bloody Bones. A boy of Z cannot
have much to do with the women when
there is so much excitement going on in
the schoohouse yard and in the barn.
At the age Of 10, however, we We're
deeply smitten with three little girls at
once but the Real One was little peachy
brunette of 5 or 10 who wore her black
hair in two little pigtails down her neck
and who impressed US as being the only
real thing on the plank walk. We were
loft our feed for several days on her
account, and grandma came near max
ing us take a dose of dockroot and dande-
lion before meals as an appetizer.
Say, did you ever p ay postoffice? Girls
play that well as boys, and it is, we
blush to record. "a kissing game A
postmaster keeps the door into the
darkroom, where no negatives are devel-
oped, and you go in and he says: There's
.etter in here with two stamps on it
for Melviny Perkins, Of course, you
tell him whom the letter is for. The post
master, confound him, sometimes peeks.
Guess I won't tell any more. But the
game isn't so bad. Try it sometime when
you're young and full of the old boy and
life is just one gorgeous whoop of joy
from s a. m. to face-washing time at
bedtime.
Other kissing games are "Copenhagen."
Hunt Husbands and Wives in the Dark
and 1.-THE Needles Eye That Doth Sup
ply''-all of them lalapalooas!
Say, If Society would play those nice,
cld-fashioned games instead of standing
around the samovar and hollering and
worrying a funny kind of biscuit. we
would be tempted to break into the smart
set.
But about that little dark haired girl
with the two pigtails down her neck!
The affair started this way. She gri1ned
at us once at recess between two bites of
her apple, and after that we were forever
|{her slave-that is, we were for several
weeks. I never saw such gorgeous, over
wheln1ing, dazzling, soul-destroying beau
ty 1t was good for half Of our candy at
almost any time, and for whole apple at
all times. We nearly broke our neck
turning nandsprings and showing off when
she was in the schoolhouse yard.
Where is she now? Oh, I don't know!
She married a skate whose father used
to adorn the top Of the cracker. barrel
in the grocery store and they went off
west somewhere.
Such Is life. Here to-day and gone to
st. Paul Tomorrow.
| A new disease has been coined in Eng
| land called brain fag.'' The recipe for
getting it is this: Worry little, hurry
| a little. get irritated easily and often
how it is working, take anxious thought
for the morrow and despise your neighbor.
| Within sixty days a specialist will be
pasturing on your bank account.
Did you ever think of how little value
the baby's time seems to him? Yet how
often he works over hours.
! There is a strong suspicion that Japan
| is behind China, pushing her forward to
slap her great and good friend, the car.
If she does, the boundary line will gal
ilop south a few thousand more miles.
An eastern paper is talking about an
nexing South America! Gee, but that
papers behind the times! The minute
/ the Monroe doctrine was announced, South
America was practically annexed. Ii
some nation doesn't think SO, let it try to
pry piece of South America off.
A st. James. Mo-. newspaper office was
shot into with buckshot last week by
I the local grocer because in his ad reading
"A fresh stock Of dairy butter daily" the
printer used an "h'' instead of "a in
/ the word dairy The printer takes
| Charles E. Parcor of st. Paul, the ami
NAL imitator, has given to the press this
sample Of cat language:
AEIIQ-Request for food.
L.AE--Desire for milk.
/ BI-Demand for red meat.
l BLEEN-BL--Kitty wants cooked meat
PTLEE-B L-wants house meat and is applied
1 to any food which Kitty fondles before devour.
MEAUw---Uttered simply greeting. ut.
tered fercely and with the accent on me il
an HXnreSSon ro ct haired W6u ard
Observation-Disclosures of battle and is vari.
ously accented to tell of the progress of hos
S. PARRIERE-Request to open door.
PURRIEU-The II love you of catland; when
| uttered with q rolling ~ and rise the last
syllable is call from a mother cat to its kit
1 ten.
/ If the cat Of spring time would say
those things he considers necessary, with
out raising his voice. quite so much, he
i would achieve greater popularity in Lake
View addition.
Many people have enjoyed reading what
Uncle Jim had to say in the Appleton
Press, and his bright savings were fire.
quently quoted in this column. Few. how.
ever, knew that he was James Fl. Bennett
q recent graduate of the state university
and a man Of extensive, friendships in this
city. Not long ago he wrote me a per-
sonal letter regarding newspaper work.
was happy to reply to it, and was expect
ing daily to see him come into this office
to call. The other day, 1 picked up the
paper and saw a notice of his DEATH due
to typhoid fever To his friends and ac.
quaintances and to those who knew him
from his work, this may seem like a tragic
and wasteful close of what promised tt
be a bright and useful life. But the uni.
Verse is very wide and contains man.
rooms. His career is not cut off, but viii
go on elsewhere.
A gentleman came into this office ths
q other day and insisted that this column
had advocated the burning of ashes il
a coai furnace. insisted that is TIL,
word! He declared that he had read al
article to that effect written by US. w,
were astonished. Boy and man, we hay,
lived in this community from fifty t,
sixty years, and our record is clear ant
> open as the sunlight. We have nothin,
to conceal. We invite the most search