Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-02-19


merely an optical illusion. We have
seen great many scholarly men
skin the cat with Prince Albert coats
on, and, while in each instance the
coat-tails apparently arose in the air
like the tail of an arrogant peacock,
such was in truth not the real fact
in the case.
But in this instance there was a
wild attempt to execute the great
feat under circumstances that were
too adverse and discouraging. He
started well, but when his feet had
travelled their orbit about SO degrees,
one of his hands suddenly lost COM
mand of the situation and slipped
from the rope. This threw his
weight upon the other hand, which
was more of a responsibility than it
cared to cope with, and it also slipped
from the rope just at the instant
when he was studiously endeavoring
to hurl his body up over the top of
his head.
For one brief moment he sat out
there upside down on the thin and
empty air, with his feet blindly striv-
ing to find the back of his neck, and
with the back of his neck feverishly
and eagerly trying to find his feet.
For one brief instant, as he whirled
about up there in space, we caught
a swift glance of his face and, fleet
ing though it was, we could see that
he seemed to be more or less worried
about something.
| Suddenly he decided to come down
and, without waiting for delay, he
| rapidly began to close in the space
which yawned below him.
! He headed his course straight for
an open-faced rocking-chair that hap
pened to be without a tenant at the
time, and in another instant he had
hurled himself into it's jaws.
For moment or two there was a
grand struggle between the man and
the chair for the mastery Of the
situation. They wrestled around
over one entire end of the room in
what seemed to be a life and death
struggle.
But suddenly the chair obtained the
advantage and in another instant it
had hurled him to the floor and
stepped on him. And thus his phys
ical culture lesson ended for that day,
and he was picked up, feeling great
ly strengthened both in body and in
mind.
Physical culture in the home can
not be spoken of too highly or rec
commended too enthusiastically.
Whether it consists of standing up
and sticking your chest out into the
air like statue of Prince Bismarck
and making gestures like campaign
orator or a. nervous elocutionist, or
whether it consists of bristling up to
quarrelsome punching bag and ex-
changing blows with it until you
finally get mad and go after it with
a chair, physical culture is great
boon.
No home is complete this winter
without it. Do you feel peevish and
nervous? Do you talk to yourself,
and do you feel that you are going
around in a circle? Are you both
cred with dandruff or ringing in the
ears? Are you beginning to feel
that your intellect is not on straight?
If so, you need a home course of
physical culture. Get a pair of
three-ounce boxing gloves and ham
mer off the left ear of your young
est daughter, and knock your moth
er-in-law's front teeth down her
throat, and give your great-grandfa
Their a black eye and give your wife
a blow along the side of the neck that
will jar her hair loose. 1t will do you
good. 1t will make you strong,
healthy and triumphantly happy.
Happy is the man who can pound the
daylights out of the members of his
family every morning before break
| fast.
Homegrown physical culture is GO
ing to do wonders for this country
1t is going to develop a race of
strong and robust men with earless
children and toothless mothers-in-
law, and mutilated grandparents who
will hobble down the corridors of
time looking like they had just grad
uated from an Indian uprising.
Everybody should take up physical
culture, either the course where you
vault the piano and knock down the
hired man at a stipulated time each
day, or the one where you take in
structions in dancing the Sioux scalp
dance and the fishers hornpipe and
other graceful and pleasing calls
! themes from a cllt-rate mail order
university. HARRY DANIEL
The New Rich.
The Snobsonly Woman's club pre-
pared to vote on new members.
"Any proposals." asked the presi-
dent.
ED like to put up Mrs. Histreet,"
announced a large, man-faced woman.
''Mrs. Overfed proposes Mrs. Hi
/ street - said the president HAny re-