The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-06-07
RUSLEST PHONE
IN WASHINGTON

expression. Tell your troubles to a
policeman said one of the telephone
operators in charge of the Police Head
quarters bureau, in Louisiana Avenue,
! to Times reporter. why, just step in
! here for while and you will soon be
| convinced that of all the places to find
out the troubles of the world this place
is distinctly IT."
| There are two telephones at the Police
Headquarters central bureau, one is
for the use of the department in sending
| official communications to and from the
various substations. The other, Main
257, which averages many hundred calls
a day, is for the use of the general pub
lie, and it is over this line for eight
hours at shift the operators are com
PEELED to listen to the tales of woe sung
into their ears in many tones through
| the telephone receiver
Ting a-Hng- ling" rang the bell as
the reporter stepped into the bureau and
placed his ear to one of the receivers.
Hello, hello, hello, Is that Police |
Headquarters? l want Police Headquar- |
ters," piped out the shrill voice of a /
woman, who spoke, or rather yelled, |
into the transmitter on the other end as |
if she were suffering with a violent case |
of hysteria. Il want you to send a po-
liceman down here right away. There's |
a crowd of about a hundred boys play |
ing ball in front of my house and they
will f.r he
that? Well, there may not be a hun
dred, but there are a lot of them, and |
guess I pay taxes for protection You
send a policeman around here right
away or 1 Will report you to Major Syl-
vester. His aunt is my brother-in-
laws cousin and he will see that / get
protection
Wouldn't that jar you?'' said the OPP
orator, as he called up No. 6 station and
reported the trouble. Later on the re-
port was made to headquarters that two
boys had been throwing and catching
ball in front of the house, but had left
for parts unknown.
Bad Boys Who Play Ball.
THAT report reminds me of an old |
gentleman who was wont to call upl
headquarters every day for the purpose
of reporting a crowd OF youngsters for
playing football on a lot adjoining his /
house., said the operator. He was
corker, and frequently shouts like this /
would greet my ears when answered |
the call They're at it again Them |
- rascals are Iammin' each other to /
pieces It's brutal. and the police ought /
- &, II
for breath 1 would answer him with |
polite yes or no, which finally irritat- |
ed him so that one afternoon he yelled |
out to me, You - idiot. can't you |
say anything but yes and nor"
t'Ting-a -Iing-Iing Hing rang out the |
telephone bell again. and this time there |
was no doubt from where the call hal !
come; it was from shop in E Street !
northwest:
Send along the seek wagon queek. |
queek. I say: der is such sickness in !
my wife; send it Queek, 1 say, my wife |
has Won of dose feets GOT
He hung up the receiver before he |
could be persuaded to give the operator /
the number Of his house. but the opera
tor. who is supposed to know everything. !
called up the Emergency Hospital and |
gave them the general location, which he !
obtained by looking up the telephone
number. and the ambulance vas soon on |
the scene, which was hardly a block
away from Police Headquarters
The next call was a pitiful tale of !
woe about a faithful canine that Pound
master Einstein's trusty and watchful
slaves had picked up for having nc
license tag hanging over his manly /
chest, as required by the ''horrid Dis |
trict Commissioners The operator |
called up Colonel" Einstein and learned |
the trouble, then informed the owner
that her beloved pet could be released |
upon the payment Of 81 in Uncle Sans
real money. The woman promised to |
pay, but il has since been learned that |
she arrived at the pound several days |
too late and her poor little "Fido''
had gone to a place where all good lit !
tie doggies go.
"Oh. that amt marker 10 some of
the requests we have here every day
for the release of human prisoners" con-
tinued the operator. growing reminiscent
and trying to tell his story between
calls which were cerning in too fast for
The Times man to make even a mental
note of.
Reported Lost Husband.
Just before you came in l had
call from a woman whose husband had
failed to show up at home last night, and
she was afraid some dreadful accident
had happened to him. I found him; he
had been out with the boys. imbibed a
little too freely of the bowl that not only
cheers. but inebriates, had run up
against a lamp post that was harder
than his head, and had been taken to a
hospital for repairs. He was probably
on his way home while she was talking
over the phone, and had stopped for a
bracer, and for any old excuse to palm
off for his absence
Ting-a-ling-li went the bell again,
and the woman of whom the operator
was just talking was at the other end.
Il say, Mr. Policeman. my husband has
just come in; thought had better tell
: you. Poor man, he was struck by