Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-03-07

treated him myself-Chicago Daily
News
Mamma-Why. Bobbie, Crying at
the table? What is the matter? Bobby
(qnite sobby}-The's four kinds of cake,
an I'm only hungry enough to eat two.
brooklyn Life.
Positive Testimony: You needn't tell
me- averred Miss Batchgurl. that
golf isn't good exercise. 1t makes the
young men 50 strong in the arms that
that you can scarcely breathe, Chi
cage Tribune.
She-YOu certainly wouldn't marry
girl for her money. would you2 He
OF course not. Neither would l have
the heart TO let her become an old
maid merely because she had money
Chicago Daily News.
| Mrs. Aufait-Now, Nora. he very
careful of this cut glass punch-bowl.
1t cost mint of money. Nora-In-
dade, mum, Well its rale tough. Sure
an | drapped 1t three times Already,
an niyer faxed it.-INte.
Trouble in Store: Young Husband Ito
wife)-Didn't l telegraph You not TO
bring your mother with you? Young
Wife, know; that's what she wants
to see you about. She read the tele-
| gram'-St. Louis Mirror.
Entirely too particular: Terrence
with the hodl-Yer not workin', Din
ME. Are yez out of job? Dennis
Sure, Oi fell off a nine sthory buildin'
Yesterday, an Oi got mad and quit.
Terrence Aw, 20 on! Yer too sinsi-
| tive.-Judge.
Clarbel You told me you were
never going to write to young Hank
nson again Angie He's written me
q dozen letters | haven't answered,
but in his last one he left i page out,
and had 10 write ana ask him what
it was about. - Chicago Tribune
No cause for suicide: Miss Dream
Ter When YOU stood on the brink of
Niagara, and looked into the seething,
surging, unfathomable depths below.
did you not feel that YOU would like
| j
received by hotel bill then New York
Weekly
Aids 10 discrimination: Doctor
James, did that lady in the waiting
room come in her own coach or n troll
ley car? Servant-Trolley car, sir!
Doctor-Thanks, | couldn't tell from
her dress whether to prescribe three
months at Newport or sulphur and
moiasses. Puck
Failure: Il thought spoonamore
was going to marry Miss Garlinghorn
but / see she has let him get away
Yes; her father didn't appear to be
at all anxious for the match. and her
mother was a little too anxious. She
lost him on account of bad team
work. Chicago Tribune.
Fallen OFF: a colonel of an infantry
regiment, while inspecting his com
mand, happened TO be thrown from his
horse, and, as he lay sprawling on the
ground, said to n brother officer, who
ran to his assistance: Il thought had
improved in Workmanship, but find l
have fallen off Illustrated Bits
Trouble ahead: Weary WILHELM
gettin' little nervous about desc here
flying machines. Flooding Pete-Why
nervous? Weary Willie-Well, as soon
as dey gifts flying machines deyll he
gittin aerial freight trains, and it
don't be no cinch gettin' chucked off
an aerial freight train. femme tell yer!
Puck.
Disproving an Idiom: MA" re-
marked the small boy Isn't it funny
that everybody calls little brother a
bouncing baby why do you think
il is funny, WiliamF' returned his
mother. Because when / dropped
him off the porch this morning he
didn't bounce a bit. He just hollcred 3"
Tit Bits
/ The Bride (wecpingp-Oh. J-Jack,
we've-we've got TO, j-just got to give
MP b-boardipg, and ego to house-k-
keeping-G. Hubby-Why, loyey. what's
the matter The Bride-Mrs. Worrits
has been telling me all afternoon about
/ the trouble she has with cooks, and
didn't have anything to tell her,--Har-
| per's Bazaar.
The hotel Of zoos: Clerk Michael.
are you about through moving those
trunks? Porter Yis, sor; in n few
minutes. Clerk Wei, when you've
| finished stretch the life net over the
front pavement Mrs IIibawl has Just
telephoned from the top floor that her
husband has fallen out Of the window.
Smart Set.
Automobile proverbs: ITO auto or
10 be autoed. that is the question"
An auto in the hand is worth two in
the repair shop He who autoes and
rides away win live to auto another
DAY" Run over others as they would
run over you and DO # first" "To
have raced and lost is better than no.
TO have raced at all. -MaryvIlle (Kan,
Tribune.
In a Southern State the other day a
gentleman, who was waiting for bis
train al a country station, asked