Evening star., 1903-10-03
JOBSON'S FALL COAT

breakfast, Mr.. JobSon went to the front
basement door and shifted the crisp early
air.
Summers gone" he said. authoritative
ly. to Mrs. Jobson. where's that tan top
coat of mine? Some place where the moths
have had a hack at 1t all summer
Mrs. Jobson had been waiting for some
days for the inquiry about the topcoat.
Mr.. Jobson's tan top coat was a pretty sore
subject with her. 1t had been getting upon
her nerves for some several seasons. MI
Jobson got the topcoat in the spring of
1896. Ever since 1899 Mrs. Jobson had been
striving to get Mr.. Jobson to lose the out
worn. out-of-date topcoat and get another
one. But she hadn't gone about 1t the right
way. She had ridiculed the topcoat to Mr..
Jobson She had meted out words of vitu-
peration and scorn with regard to the top
coat. She had told him that the topcoat
was beginning to be a scandal to the neigh
borhood. She had intimated to him that
he would look better in a paisley shawl
than in that topcoat.
Which. of course, made Mr.. Jobson all
the more resolved to get another season out
OF the topcoat as the seasons succeeded
each other. The more Mrs. Jobson would
attack and knock the topcoat, the oftener
Mr.. Jobson would take 1t to the cleaner S
and have 1t policed and swabbed and fixed
over again.
And so. determined that Mr.. Jobson
"ouiu nave q new tOpcOat tnlS 1all II OIL
plomacy could force him to it, Mrs. JobsOn
had already decided to change her system
when he submitted his inevitable question
this fall as to the whereabouts and condi-
ton of the tOpcoat
Il have had it packed away in moth balls
in the camphor chest since last May" Mrs
Jobson said sweetly. in reply to his ques-
ton.
Il wish you'd get 1t out today. then. II
you're not too tired" said Mr.. Jobson. land
hang it out on the line or something and
give 1t good airing. I'll be wanting to
wear that topcoat soon if this crisp weather
continues"
Then he looked at her sideways
The topcOat was in pretty good shape
when I left off wearing it last spring,
wasn't it?" he asked her.
Splendid said Mrs. Jobson, pouring the
coffee through the straner 1t looked
very nice when 1 put it away. l should
think you ought to be able to get another
season or so out of it easily
That so?" said Mr. Jobson in a distinct
1-don' tknow-so- much about-that tone OBJ
Viously, he had expected a wholly different
reply from her with reference to the condi-
ton OF the topcoat, Let's see, how long
have l had that topcoat now?'
why, two or three years. replied Mrs.
Jobson-she remembered perfectly we'll that
he had had it for seven years, but it wasn't
part of her scheme to say So
That shows what loose and fabby idea
you've got as to the passage of time. Mrs.
in the spring of So
Did you, indeed?" said Mrs Jobson
well. I'm sure it doesn't look it,
Mr.. Jobson shot glance of suspicion at
her. but her face was wearing it's usual
placid expression.
Mrs. JObson had the topcoat spread out
on his bed when Mr.. Jobsor got home that
evening. 1t looked pretty spotty and limp
and frayed.
Here's the topcoat" said Mrs Jobson,
lifting the coat up and diffuslng the aroma
of mothballs. which Mr. Jobson despses,
around the bed room. Il think it looks
real nice. You'll have to have it refined.
especially the sleeves, and steam cleaned,
but when it has been tinkeIed over by a
repairer it ought to look just as well as
ever. don't you thnk?"
Mr.. Jobson glared al her. and refused to
so much as touch the topcoat.
NO he said. sourly Il don't think
any such an Internal think l do think,
though. that it would take mighty incon-
siderate scheesicks of a woman to deliber-
ately expect her husband to be seen in the
his back as that. I've heard of selfshness,
but that's the limit
Why" said Mrs Jobson. in evident sur
prise. don't you think you could get an
other fall out of the coat?'
mo. Mrs. Jobson,'' growled Mr.. Jobson.
Il don't think could get another ten min
utes out of the coat. 1 wouldn't be seen in
kind of hobo dye think l am, anyhow?
You've been bamboozling and hectoring and
bullyraging me into wearing that scare
crow coat for four or five years longer than
l ever had any idea of wearing it, but If
you think that you're going to flim-fam
me into making myself a laughing stock
with it again this fall. you've got another
think a-coming, that's all. You can give
it to the first huckSter that rings the base
ment bell tomorrow. I'm going to get an
other topcoat on my way to the office to-
morrow morning"
"Oh. we'll" said Mrs. Jobson. resgnedly
''if>you think you can afford another one
of course. 1 saw some lovely topcoats ad-
vertised for $3.50 the other day"
You did. hey?" said Mr.. Jobson, glaring
at her. And you expect me to stake my
self to an $500 tOpcoat do you while Won
much for a dinky little tan jacket hey?
Well. l saw lovely topcoat' for $3S on
my way home from the Office this evening
and that's the one that I'm going to get
II you think that you're going to make a
rag-bag of me all my life. it's up to me to
execute a few little stunts to show you
different. that's all"
Mrs. Jobson's eyes were aight with ex-
pectancy when she heard Mr. Jobson in
serting his latchkey III the vestibule door
on the following evening. He wore the new
topcoat. and it was beauty. Mrs Jobson
examined 1t admiringly and stroked the
fine cloth.
IT'S perfectly splendid" she said. en-
Enthusiastically to him. Just what wanted
you to get!''
Yes. you did" commented Mr.. Jobson
sarcastically ''If I'd waited until YOU
wanted me to get it. I'd have looked like
Rip Van Wrinkle after his twenty-year
snooze. Die give the old one away today?'
NO" said Mrs. Jobson. going to a
closet and fetching the old topcoat forth.
what would have been the use? 1t
wouldn't be any good to even a huckster
unless he happened to be one-armed l cut
one of the arms out Of it. when you took it
off last spring. to give to the servant to
polish the range with, you know" and she
pointed to the missing sleeve.
Mr.. Jobson gazed fixedly and with an ex-
preston of amaZement at the amputat ted
topcoat.
"Well." he finally inquired, "how did YOU
expect me to wear 1T another season. then?'
"Oh. but didn't" Mrs. Jobson quietly re-
piled.
Mr. Jobson scratched his head good deal
over it that evening. He had Just about
finished doping it all out when he was get
ting ready for bed
you're pretty foxy, all right. old lady,
he said to Mrs. JobsOn. but it's a good
thing that I didn't see that there was an
arm missing from that old topcoat when
you showed it to me last evening-there' d
have been something doing around here
and guess you knew it. all right
Indeed did!' mumbled Mrs. Jobson, and
she turned over on the other side and pre-
tended to go to sleep, but fully fifteen min
utes later Mr.. Jobson heard something on