Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-04-05
AN EASTER PROPOSAL
She wasn't worth having. anyway

No. Not worth having anyway,
That was the way | mused that
Easter afternoon as | walked down
the street after seeing her. and that
is still my way of thinking.
Aaaua two days before that day |
happened to drop in on boor Bifkins;
because he hasn't even the average
stock of everyday brains, and further
more, because he is good-natured,
cheerful sort of idiot all round, easy
to impose upon, and gullible as the
day is long.
When l found Bifkins he was in an
awful state, and as he welcomed me
there were almost tears of joy in his
eyes.
Sly" said he, coming right to
the point. as all born idiots do, Il
want to propose to the loveliest girl
oh, we'll, don't suppose you want to
hear all about her-but l want to
propose to her just the same, and
don't dare go and ask her outright,
so l want to do it by mail; and, by
Jove, | don't know what to say Say
isn't writing proposal blazes, eh?
I've torn up about two reams of pa
per already, and l was Just about to
give her up, when-you came in
You'll help me. won't you?"
| chuckled softly to myself. Here
was a chance for lark. Poor Bif-
kins was so confiding he'd do almost
anything a fellow suggested, and
knew he would I'd written letter
of proposal that afternoon myself to
Miss Helen Goldrox, and I knew the
task was no easy one, but then i'm
agine poor Bfkins wanting to do the
same thing to some other fair maid.
"Who is she, Bifkins?' | asked Gym
ically
well" said Bifkins, after thinking
minute. I'D rather not tell her
name in case she won't have me. But
say, old chap, that's no reason for
YOU not to help me with the letter, is
it," and he looked at me pleadingly
"Oh, not at all. not at all | re-
piled cheerfully. In fact, on second
thought | considered that Id rather
not know. for it might be some nice
girl | knew, and that would deter me
from helping Bifkins write the kind
cf letter | had in mind.
Thanks" was all he could say.
"You don't know how good you are. >
"Oh. don't |. thought" replied
and then thought to myself l might
prove too good.
"All right. then," said he. Lets
get right at it.
walked about with my hands in
my pockets for few moments while
he watched me, when | said:
Just the thing" he replied, and
sat down all rady. to go ahead.
You love her an awful lot, do
you | asked before going ahead.
"Oh, heaps" he replied.
And she-er-cares for you?"
Il think so. Erin quite sure OF
it" he replied.
This will be the test of it. Then be-
gan thinking My darling, thought |.
No; that would be too tame. Ny dear
est darling. Yes, that would be more
like it. thought. so quietly chuckled
to myself and began:
MY dearest darling!"
''Oh, say. isn't that putting it a
trif1e strong for proposal?' inquired
Bifkins. turning around.
"Oh, no." said carelessly: the
usual thing
yell, you ought to know; you've
proposed and been refused SO often.
he remarked, laughing loud at his
own conceit.
said nothing, but if had any com
FUNCTIONS before. they were now all
removed. so | went on, and Bifkins
wrote:
My Dearest Darling-Ever since
first beheld your sweet, angelic face
your-Dlue eyes. Bifkins? | thought
so)-your laughing sky-blue eyes
and tresses golden-(Of course she
has red hair, Bifkins? You say gold
en- will do? AhaD-Your tresses,
golden as the sunlight on stunning
summers day, have thought of moth
ing else, OF nothing else, but you.
So you will see. darling. that my
devotion knows no measure, but is
boundless as the ripping, heaving