davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1903-10-09

the enormity of your offenses
"Ipjustice" says, "I asked some very
plain questions. Did he (Amen)
attempt to answer them ?' We did
not intend to answer anything be-
yond "Iniustice's" attack on Leo
AiIs character, and having "shut
him out" on that, we will gratify his
curiosity on some Other questions.
For instance. "St. Alphonsus, the
Jesuitr' Doubtless, "Injustice"
saw the ghost of st. Ignatius and
mistook him for st. Alphonsus. ST
Aiphonsus was not a Jesuit. He was
the founder of the order of the Re-
deemer and was a Redemptionist.
Then comes the "moral theology"
spook. Don't you know that q
work on moral theology has to deal
with the. sins which defiie, corrupt
and rot the soul :? How are you go
ing to prescribe the remedy without
properly diagnosing the disease !?
The surgeon dissects the physical
body and holds m to light the hor-
rid ulcers and cancers that kill.
The moral sheologian holds mp the
disgusting sins against the sixth COM
mandment and the other command
ments (Which kill the souD and tells
the remedy. The next hobgoblins
that show up are the "nunneries"
land of course converts, etc). "Those
prisons built of stone, where young
girls are decoyed." May God pardon
you for your gross insults to the
noble aud refined women who live in
"those prisons, as you term them.
These very ladies that you so shock
ingiy insult occupy their tine in
making the beautiful vestments of
the church, in educating and train.
ing the fair daughters of both Prot
estant and Catholic parents of the
highest social standing. The "Lit-
tie Sisters of the Poor" and the "Sis-
ters OF Charity" we presume, come
under your sweeping malediction, as
they, too, live in houses s'of stone"
and are sanctioned by the Pope. Man,
If you made insulting remarks
against these ministering angels in
the presence of camp of Confede-
rate Veterans (many of whom still
bear the frightful scars of wounds.
once washed, dressed and healed by
these good Sisters) they wouldn't
hesitate to hang you to the nearest
telephone pole, for knowing these
Sisters OF mercy as they did in camp
and field and hospital, they would
regard you as in the same class with
tho black fiend who attempts to de-
grade our women: The gallant
hemper OF Virginia paid this tribute
to these noble women. "Shot and
wounded nearly unto death, what
did find beside me when swoke
to consciousness ? A coffin and a
Sister of Charity" The last ghost
seen by "Injustice" is the confes-
sional, and he asks us, "Whst ia the
confession for?" We will tell him.
1t is a tribunal before which a man
who has msligned his neighbors, de-
famed fair and virtuous women
and slandered the character of the
good, should appear aud confess his
sins. The good priest will tell him
that there can be no forgiveness for
him unless he is sorry for his sins
and makes reparstion. No money
will be demanded by the priest, but
he win require of the penitent that
he must make an aot of contrition
and say some prayers as penance.
The priest win then give the peni-
tent his blessing and say to him, "Go,
my child, and ain no more"
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1903-10-09
Smith Come and go with me

Smith Come and go with me to
the 200.
Jones-No, thank you. III stay
at home. My Oldest daughter does
the kangaroo walk; my second
daughter talks like parrot; my con
laughs like hyena; my wife watches
me like hawk; my cook is as cross
as a bear, and my mother in law says
I'm an old gorilla. When l go any
where want change. Wasp.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1903-10-09
I,rnas CnuSTy IS

LUCAS COUNTY.
Frank ]. Cheney makes oath that he IA sem
Tor partner or the firm Of y. j. Cheney & Co..
deing business IN the City OF Toledo, County
pay the sum OF One Hundred Dollars for each
and every case OF Catarrh that cannot be-
cured by the use OF Halls Catarrh Cure.
FRANK J. Oh ENEY.
Sworn TO before me and subscribed In my
500 A. W. GLEASON.
Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure n taken internally, and
Acts diretly on the blood aud mucous surfaces
or the system. Send Tor testimonials. free.
FL. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo. o.
Sold by Drpggists. I5c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1903-10-09

TO SELL,-About 10 acres on Rap
pahannock, opposite La Grange Greek
with lovely view. Land level and easily
cultivated. Is just opposite one of the
valuable inlet from the river for raising
ducks, etc. Dwelling and brick base
ment (old fashioned). Other small build
.ngs and fences. Terms $12 per acre.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1903-10-09

"MILLWOOD"-In lower Richmond
Co., convenient to churches, schools and
postoffice. 365 acres, one-half cleared,
balance In hardwood and other timber.
MIL dam In center OF tract. Navigable
creek within half mile. Soil light loan
and well adapted to early fruit and veg
etables. Tracts Of mari on the place.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1903-10-09

ON DYMERS CREEK PA acres
good land, with two houses (totsl of II
rooms), good barn and all necessary out
buildings. Fruit trees and oyster shore.
Cost $4,000; will sell for much less.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1903-10-09
MY sHIPs.

Some boast of mighty ships far out al
sea,
Laden with precious gems and golden
For which they ever watch expectsntly,
Oft questioning, when will they return
again.
But none for me come sailing DER the
sea;
Too small my ships to venture far awai,i,
And hence my fragile boats content
must he,
To beat along the shore and there re-
main.
Laden my barque, though small her
golden store,
Yet priceless is the freight she carries
free;
What though the world insatiate sighs
for more,
A satisfactory portion this to me.
How many ships freighted with hope and
love
Go forth but ah, they ne'er again sail
back:
Where none may pity. save the One
They buried lie beneath the deep ses
wrack.
And they. grown weary waiting. never
knew
In what strange sea their vessel went q
wreck:
And what could worldly pleasure give In
lieu,
For all they hoped for when their ship
came back
An since ne'sr could brook the loss Of
one,
| keep my beats that traffic In the bay,
Where e'er the slow decline OF each days
sun,
know they're moored before night
hides the day.
III. EHen Smith
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20

employed by the city have already
fixed the value Of the plant at $4,000
about half the original cost. The
proposition also contemplates a re-
assessment Of the plant from time to
time as the basis of hydrant rental.
at Warrensburg the water is
obtained from artificial lakes, The
pressure is less. The water tower is
ITO feet high. The restrictions upon
consumers are more illiberal. The
people are very much dissatisfied with
the contract, which is ironclad to the
patrons and full of lOopholes to the
company.
Independence has a larger and
more expensive plant than ours. The
franchise is for thirty years, and is a
new one. The water is obtained
from the Missouri river four miles
away. They have a more extensive
system Of filtration and aeration-
necessarily so, being so near 10 Kansas
City. The town is larger than Lex
ington-the number Of private con-
sumerS much larger.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
go TO THE BOTTOM"

President ROOSEVELT alleged orders
10 the postofice Investigation to ego
to the bottom" seems to have made a
deep Impression upon such Roosevelto
maniacs Is the Kansas City Star. The
Stars case is truly pathetic. 1t is
enamUred with MI. Roosevelt, frankly
and overwhelmingly. 1t is confident
that its passion is a divine inspira-
tion, a foreordained affinity, Its
case is as interesting as Mr.. Arthur
P%endennis' first love affair. II the
Self-centered Mr.. Pen was indulgent
of Emily's shortcomings, what is to
be said of the Star? If Mr.. Pen
could deem her stupid ignorance
''1ivine simplicity, "herlapses in SPELL
ing and grammar ''artiStic eccentrici-
ty, ny should not the Star be allowed
to harmonic the presidents brave
manifestoes and his tame perform
ances with the facile exc~usefulnesS of
a doting lover. Why, the investiga-
tors have been "going to the bottom
for three month, but the public has
learned and will learn nothing, except
TullOch's charges and these will be
admitted only because the public will
believe them anyhow. Some fellow
may be made a Scapegoat, but not
even this will be done unless public
pressure becomes too great. The re.
publicans had n experience with
letting out family secrets. They will
not repeat the error OF the Star route
scandal,
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
THE wATERwORKS QUESTION.

The resolution OF the city council to
submit to a vote Of the people the
proposition Of the w%aterworks COM
pany as modified by the council, Sug.
gests that it is time for those who
wish to form an intelligent opinion
upon the subject TO begin to collect
facts and statistics 1t is impossible
for IN individual to form a Just notion
OF the reasonableness Of a proposition
of this kind except by comparison
with the experience Of other towns
where the conditions are as similar as
may be found. Some statistics are
here offered 10 the readers Of this
paper with such modifying facts as
may help to render them ~serviceable.
or the towns compared the condi-
tions at Boonville most nearly
resemble those at Lexington. The
water is obtained from the river,
settled in tanks, and distributed by
gravity. The elevation of Boonville
above the river level is about the
same as Lexington. The town is
strung out in very much the same
way. The river has not left the town
as 1t has done here but the tank and
tower are removed from the town
nearly or quite a mile. The pressure
and service Except that there river
water is furnished) are very much the
same as here. The regulations of the
company are not so liberal. The city
is almost precisely the same size.
The contract is an old one-twenty-
one years. The city is trying to
negotiate a new contract on the basis
Of the old contract to private con-
sumers, the fire hYdrant rental to be
such a sum (determinable each year
by examination Of the books as will
make the total income exceed the
total expense by six per cent on a
present valuation OF the plant assessed
by experts. The water company does
not agree to the terms, since experts
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
ate Of thlrty.fve cents per thousand

rate OF thirty-fve cents per thousand
gallons"
AT Warreusburg-Less than $4,000
gallons per month IS cents per l'OVO
gallons. 25,COO gallons per month 80
cents per l 900 gallons 500, 600 gallons
per month and over u cents per l,oOO
gallons.
At B onville-25 cents per l'OOO
gallons, any amount.
At Lexlngton-2O cents to 40 cents
per 1000 gallons, according to the
amount used.
A further examination OF rates to
private consumers shows that, though
there is some variation in particular
items, the average rates Of most OF
the towns of about the same size,
with about the same service and
existing under similar conditions, are
very nearly the same The contracts
differ very widely in some other
respects Some of them are so worded
that, if the company were to furnish
water one day in fourteen the whole
bill could be collected. In some the
cities must pay for the extension OF
mains. In some the company IS
relieved Of all further responsibility
after pumping the tower full OF water
once each day. In some towns the
contract rate to private consumers Is
heavily discounted to encourage water
consumption. In others the fire plugs
are furnished at low rates and the
private consumer charged the limit,
besides being hampered by endless
restrictions. With the exception Of
the quality Of the water furnished 10
the past few years, we have enjoyed
perhaps the most liberal and SatiSfac-
tory service Of any town Of the size
in the state, and our private rates
have not been excessive by compar-
ison. The number of consumers in
Lexington and BOOnville is very small
as compared with other towns of the
same size.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
NAM STREET PAVING.

The paving OF the business part OF
Main street this summer is an end
Greatly 10 be desired The adverse
arguments with a degree of validity
which might have been made, which
were made. in the caSe II South
street do not apply here The hes
itancy which men feel, very properly
feel, about voting a tax upon a poor
mans home unless the public good
~imperatlvely demands 1t, cannot by
any stretch of fancy be made to ex-
tend to the public or seml-public
property in the business portion of
the city.
The streets aud sidewalks around
tho public square are thoroughly dis
creditable to Lexington. A large
part of it is county property, but the
county court feels nc interest in i'm
proving it 50 long as it compares
favorably with the Improvements Of
private property opposite. A decent
respect for appearances demands that
radical improvement be made. Con-
s~iderations of cleanliness and SANTA
ton enforce the same demand. A
proper regard for our schools which
Spend thousands of dollars in adver-
Using Lexington abroad as a city Of
culture, wealth, health, and desira-
bleness as a place of abode, would
seem to require that we should not
shame them by shiftlessness and negli-
gence in public Improvements. We
expect to entertain the Grand Army
next spring-fve thousand people,
from every county in the state. Who
would want anybody to see Main
street in its present condition?
1t is very desirable for this work
to be done this summer. South street
is to be let anyhow and it is likely
that better bids might be had if it
we're all done at once.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20

The time for bluegrass is already
past in this section Of the state. The
corn crop OF this year is not likely to
approach that Of last year. 1t is not
too late for farmers TO save out the
best and most perfect ears as they use
the old crop. The committee will
take charge Of these things, ship
them to st. Louis and exhibit them
in the contributors name.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20
SIMPLE REMEDY FOR CATAR Ri
Just Breathe HyOmel Four Times a
Day and be Cured.

II a few years ago ONE one had
said you can cure catarrh by breathing
air charged with a healing balsam, the
idea would have been ridiculed, and it
remained for R. T. Booth, that emil
nent investigator to discover in Hyo-
mel this method of cure.
Hyomei has performed the most
miraculous cures of catarrh and is
today recognized by leading members
of the medical profession as the only
advertised remedy that can be relied
upon to do just what it claims.
The complete outfit of Hyomei costs
but $l.O0 and consists of an inhaler, a
medicine dropper and a bottle of
Hyomei. Breathe Hyomei through
the inhaler for a few minutes four
times a day and it will cure the worst
case of catarrh. 1t soothes and heals
the mucous membrane of the air pas.
sages, prevents irritation, and effects
a complete and lasting cure.
The treasurer of the American Life
Insurance Company, j.. S. Nugent, of
New York City, writes: "Hyomei has
completely cured my daughter of
catarrh from which she has been a
sufferer for years"
In Lexington there are scores of well
known people who say they have been
cured of catarrh by Hyomei. If it does
not cure you Chas. W. LOOMS will
return the money you paid for Hyomei.
This is the strongest evidence that can
be offered as to his faith in the
remedy. d&w
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20

Lexington may be fully as slow as
she is reputed to be by her ~neighbors, 4,
but she is lively enough to double-dis-
count us on street building. They are
advertising for bids on half a dozen
blocks of vitrifed brick pavement in
the residence portion of town. War.
rensburg will be happy to get macad-
au on the residence streets.-War-
rensburg Journal Democrat.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20

The meter rates are as follows:
At Independence minimum
rate Of seventy-five cents per month
will be given, which allows the use OF
2, 100 gallons Of water per month.
All water used above the minimum
amount will be charged for at the
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20

Married, al Three Grove, Sunday,
June ID, 1908. Rev. W. A. Muller
officiating. Mr.. Herman F. Book and
aiss Christine Schrieman.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20

Married, at the Catholic church IN
this city, June 10 1908, John Buchan.
an and Miss Kate Byworks, both of
Corder, Rev, Father Killion Roth Off
ciating.-The Leader.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20

Rockefeller contributed So, 900 to the
flood sufferers. If every man in the
land who is worth $40, 900 had wished
to show propOrtionate liberality, it
would have cost him 6A cents.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-06-20


MISS Christine, daughter of Mr.. and
Mrs. Chas. Schreimann, of neal Alma,
and Mr.. Herman Book Of Waverly,
were married Sunday evening at the
German Baptist church in Alma; Rev.
Miller officiating. The young couple
will live on a farm near Waverly.
The Lexington lntelligencer made it
look nice by printing the following
1.-The ball game in Concordia Sunday
between the Lexington and Concordia
teams resulted IN a score OF 5 10 8 in
favor of Concordia May, brother
you were misinformed, the score was
IL to 2 in favor Of Concordla.-Co
cordian.
Somebody has yarned either to the
ooncordian or to the Intelligencer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-08-20
Boys in the Mines

The cost of the pending arbitration in the coal troubles was recouped Q hundred times over when when an | agreement was reached to shut all boys under fourteen years of age out of employment in the coal mines. This result is inestimable. It will preserve many valuable lives in this district.
 Boys have been freely employed as drivers, spraggers and the like, and owing to want of preeaution the young lives have been maimed or crushed, even when their health did not suffer from life underground. The deep humanity of the agreement ar rived at is beyond statement.
 This agreement applies, however, to union mines only, and in order to keep boys out of the non-union mines 1t will be necessary to clinch and extend this agreement by legislation. The legisla- ture that meets on Tuesday week should for humanity's sake decree that boys under fourteen should not enter mine in this state as employees.
 The fourteen-year clause is a clear gain to this state, and if Judge Gray and his associates accomplish no more they will be entitled to the gratitude of all humane people in this state, and they will receive it. The fourteen year-old clause will stand in the his tory of Alabama as the first fruit of the Gray commission.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-08-20

cure more delay. Some such plan as this will probably be evolved by the railroad managers who have already secured fifty years of delay.
 No, the thing to do, is to obey the law of June, 1902. "A reasonable time" has elapsed, and it is the duty of the President to negotiate treaties witt Nicaragua and Costa Rica, and to dig with the least possible delay a canal on the better route. The Spooner act gives him all needful authority, and nothing but campaign subscrip- tions on the part of the transconti- mental railroads stand in the way.
 Senator Morgan and Congressman H 9pburn have been viadicated by the stupid action of Colombia, and Senator Hanna repudiated. It is not difficult to see what the latter was fighting for, but the country is in no mood to be baked on account of campaign sub scriptions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-08-20
IN HOTEL LOBBIES.
Proposed Building Laws.

q am not usually a knoeker,' said q taxpayer last night. but l do hate to see this unnecessary delay about passing the new building laws that nave been be- fore the city council for several weeks. If the proposed ordinance is good thing, and no one seems to question it, the council should go ahead and make it the basis of present and future build ing operations in Birmingham.
 T understand that there arc several buildings under way in the city now, some of which have been started since the drafting of the ordinance. which are not at all in accordance with the pro- posed laws, and the builders are anxious that they should not become effective until after their buildings are finished.
 Tt will be impossible to find a time when some building is not Tn progress in Birmingham and contractors had better begin to make their bids on construction work high enough to cover any extra expense which might be caused in put ting up the building under the new laws. It is hardly fair to delay the passage of the laws by such a trivial excuse
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-08-20
A TALE OF TAILEsS CATS.

From the New York World.
 Travellers have noted that in the Bis marck archipelago eats without tails are very numerous. The explanation as given in the World today is curious The na- tives of the islands have a supersttious belief that remnants of food falling into the hands of an enemy enable him to cast a spell over the eaters of the meal at which the remnants were left. Now, the natives value their cats less as pets than as a convenient source of fresh meat. It follows that thefts of cats are frequent or rather were frequent until some genius evolved the happy scheme of cutting off their tails and storing them away in a safe place. For" said he. If thief should steal my cat and eat it, an incan- tation muttered over its residue will make the miscreant so sick that he will be sorry he ever tasted stolen cats flesh" It was an idea worthy of the great chan cellor himself, and the humble. brown Bismarckian, in pursuing the blood-and- iron policy which it entailed, was, like him, serenely indifferent to bloodshed pain and caterwaulings so long as he se- cured his ends or his cats ends.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-08-20
METEMPSYCHOSIS OF
 SOME STANDARD JOKES

From the New York Mail and Express.
 A formidable volume might be written on the metempsychosis of standard jokes. We shall content ourselves here with sim ply noting that a quotable story about a conspicuous parsonage is not inferred with his bones. It settles down like a benevolent parasite upon some one else. and rare is the party of the second part that seeks to dislodge 1t. The successful man of each generation is the man who reincarnates in his own fame the largest collection of humorous incidents that hap pjened to other men.
 From a full pigeon hole we draw just two of these. There is the remark of Ii Hung Chang when the surprising num- Der of lawyers in this country was brought to his attention. Tn my country he said, there are only two, and I shall behead one of them. when I go back" Peter the Great said the same thing when he was in England. Both of these famous men are now happild dead; the jest Is not. If the sultan of Sulu attends the worlds fair next year, he may as we'll be apprised in advance that he will have to father it. Then there is the S100 bill proffered by a corrupt contract hunter to an honest pub lie official and by him turned into cigar lighter Gen. Ludlow was the last man