The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-12-20

When man desires TO show his temper toward
his wife he goes and fills up hre-juice. When
wife wants to return the evil she grabs the
last ten-dollar note in the house and spends il
for dresses. When grows angry he leaves
home, When daughter feels provoked she gets
married But. when an old maid becomes indig-
nant, she-wel. she just falls TO her knees and
prays for a-law compelling old maids to marry.
xxx
'I love you darling better than all else in the
world"
But have you read the ten commandments
YETI"
What is the emblem of the Nation?
The Ratchet
Kansas in a sunbeam; Oklahoma is a grace
Texas is jungle; Coorados a good place;
But in the for Doodle,
Old Missoury's in the chase.
When the world grows tired and of sorts.
When the stars don't shine just right
When ev'rything else is upside down.
And statesmen the fight
When women vote and privileges have,
When they don't sell booze by the 'bawreL'
When sun and earth each other caress.
And lovers no longer quarrel:
When, in fact the face of the earth
Assumes a new and diff'rent smile
Then. might we hope for living
In socalistic style.
What is your name?' asked the postmaster.
who was a witty little Irishman in a country
village.
'Gilcnrist. sir; Gilchrist, is my name.
At this juncture a chubby faced fellow jumped
up from where he was sitting and said. .Begory.
and olive been a-huntng the ecoundrel who killed
Christ for forty year. and by the hivens yen SUI
fer now for the crime"
Mr. Gilchrist commenced at oEce TO explain, but
in vain
at last they fought Blood was freely split.
Irish temper went a discount The postmaster
took hand After few minutes of tns-
sling. the Irishman struggled from under the
weigbty body OF his opponent and cried. and be-
CORY who killed Christi
But when the postmaster saw everything In
better state OF temper, he hourished a bottle of
Kentucky's best. which centered all thoughts in
that direction
AS the Irishman took hold of the glistening bot
tie. he said And wen kill the devil
One gentleman in Wichita says he will sell his
for $500 apiece. If that the market price
provided his hearing goes with them. He says
he doesn't need the money, but he signs for relief
from an Xantippe tongue that is waggng
his home.
what queer way southern people in Kansas
have of speaking" said a New EnEIander the
other day They say. done went. Z done saw.
You have the idom In New England
replied western teacher. When 1 was I'm Boston
this summer at the teachers convention ] heard
lots of people In that section say. 4 dunno
POLITICAL. MAXIMs
Political Issues for sight dema nd;
They do not concern the things at hand
Never mind about extravaganza and grating
at hometown Tammany
Never mind about muddy roads and highway
IN Sedgwick county-hurrsh for the Panama canal
Never mind negro lynchlngs and mob rale m
America-cUrse the Turkish cruestes IN Macedonia
Never mind the slaughter and robbery OF heath
en- Chinese In Amertca-sErn TO defend American
missionaries against Chinese assaults.
Never mind the Kansas nliiIers' alleged COM
bine to prevent cutting -four prices-b0und that
Northern Securities Merger n Minnesota
Never mind excessive freight rates In Kansas
-seorch AorgsHs attempt 70 monopoiize
traffic.
Never mind what Kansas senators and repre-
seutatives dotng-unseat Reed sn1oot.
Never mind protection products.
hides. wool. ard farm pro5uce-dont ic: RhoSe
Islands knit goods safer from reciprocity wish