Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-06-24
i fnSaFs

chaser that is great success. "-Ex.
''1'm not afraid of those horrid auto
mobiles any more" said the of horse.
"Nor l." said the near horse. II help
one home every day"
He-The fact is that you women
make fools of the men. She-Some-
times, perhaps; but sometimes we don't
have to.-Boston Transcript.
$50 you went to see one of those
old New England plays. Was 1t real
istic?' Indeed 1t was. Why. when
the rainstorm came up Uncle Henry's
corns began to hurt him."-Magazine
of Humor
Mother-Has young Meadows asked
you to marry him. Ethel? Ethel
About the same thing. He said that
II he ever should marry he thought he
knew the kind of girl that would suit
him.-Chicago Record Herald.
THE world isn't what 1t used to
be-" complains the cynic. Formerly
man had some chance; now 1t Is just
like-just like" Just like a church
fair said the listener, supplying the
lacking smile without an effort
Judge.
81 suppose that ii you marry my
daughter you will expect me to pay
your debts?" shouldn't think of put
ting you to SO much trouble" answer
ed Earle Byrd. You can give me the
money and I'll pay 'em myself"
Washington Star.
II really think you ought to 60 to
church with me once in WHILE" she
urged. My dear" replied the willy
man. my good fortune makes that
entirely unnecessary. l have wife
who is good enough for two."-Chi-
cago Evening Post.
Guest lat dinneD-Ah, that's good
old ale. Pardon my asking, but where
did you get It? Subbubs Home
brewed. Guest-Really? The chicken
is delicious. too. Is it one of your own
raising7 Subbubs-Yes. home brood.
Philadelphia Ledger.
They had started for stroll. There
is our minister" he said; I'm going
to ask him to Join u.s." ITO join us1
oh, George, this is SO sudden! But
hadn't you better speak to papa be-
fore engaging the minister. dear?"-
London Spare Moments.
81 sing SO MUCH" said the man who
thought he could, ITS surprising
don't have some troublesome throat
trouble" "Oh. that's not surprising
here in the East" replied Pepprey.
1--WE don't lynch people here, even for
thai" -Philadelphia Press.
$50 you are not going to Europe
again?" mot for long time" an
swered Mrs. Cumrox. ut is our In
tention to live in America. thereby
calling attention to the fact that we
can afford to pay the highest prices
for everything."-Wash Star.
Mrs. Jenner Lee Ondego-My hus-
band says Americans spend $10O,000.-
900 year in foreign travel. Mrs. Sell
dom Holme-I don't doubt it, but 1t 10
all well spent. Why, consider the
French accent my Esmeralda acquired
from her two years in Paris worth
every cent Of tx.
YES" said the critic to the aspiring
young plays-1istht. "there are great pos
sibilities in this play Of 5sspars.
Thank you. 1t is very kind of you to
say So" "But there will be greater
possibilities in the fellow who is clever
enough to find them and get them out"
Chicago Record Herald.
Angry Voice (from top of Stairway
Verena. what did you let him in fort
You know we don't allow canvassers
here! Strange Voice Tin hallway be-
low)-I am getting names for the blue
book, ma'am. Changed Voice-Verena,
show the gentleman into the parlor.
I'll be down in n moment.-C Chicago
Tribune.
The tlmid young man at the picnic
hastily asked his sister to introduce
him to the young woman in the blue
shirt waist. Miss Tippitt." said his
sister. this is my brother. Mr.. Tap
pitt" "Gl-glad to meet you. Miss Tip
pitt" he said. Pardon me for men,
tionlng it, but you are sitting on a
bumblebee's ncst."-Ex.
The sagacious wife watches her hus-
bands angry efforts to find the collar
button that has rolled beneath the bu-
reau. ~ should think she says, that
YOU would have two collar buttons"
You should" he shorts, reaching I'M
der the bureau for the fiftieth time and
rasping his hand along the floor. 1T
takes woman to figure out some way
to double mans troubles:" New
York Herald.
II think you'd like the pastor Of the
church l belong to-" remarked the pas
senger with the skull cap. as the con-
| yersation drifted to religious topics.
"He never breaches longer than TWEEN.
| ty-fiye minutes 81 have no doubt
should like him." replied the passen
ger with the side whiskers. 1.-The pas
| tor of the church attend every Sun
day breaches sometimes an hour o.
longer" Horribly tresome. isn't it7'
mot to me. I'm the preacher" Elk
Papa" said the distinguished states
mans petted daughter, you have new
er told me anything about the house
In which you were born" mo, my
child" he replied, with groan, "a
have not l could not bear to destroy
the fond illusion that your father is q
great man. am not great man,
my dear. am an impostor. was
not born in log cabin, but In three.
story brick with stone trimmingsv'
And he turned away in anguish.-Chi.
cago Tribune.
| Costly Books.
A Peoria friend of the late Colonel
Robert G. Ingersoll tells how, while