The Western news., 1903-08-19
SLOW PHILADELPHIA
The Funny Filings at the Quaker
City Not All Well Founded.
Business Men and Politicians Are a.
Wide Awake and EnterprininG
~ Those of Any Other
Great Com unity.

InOSe VINO nave grown accustomed
to the almost proverbial expression
As slow as a PDilade lrhian.' have
never gone belonu tie humorous con
sideration of Ike matter. writes DR.
William Ellis Trings. in the Chicago
American.
The newspapers have made it the
brunt of humorous thrusts. the
theme has furnished focG for carica-
turi>ts on occasions when nu,r mo-
mentous problems have lain in slum-
bcring quesct nee, lecturers have
scored Introductory points shout it.
and knights of the ''heel and clog
have come to esort to it as Il yinuca-
tUn when old. and memorable gray
haired jokes have failed to find market
in the playhouses of the beautiful city
of homes
So far has this overindulgenceo of Il
well-taken criticism EXTENDED, lat one
may hear in England and rs far away
as the orient. stories invested with rid
icule for patient PhiIaatlpi ia Il long
suffering and never-romp'ainin2 home
of as lovely and loving community of
people as Goo ever made.
\ certain lecturer in Scot II. com
memorating the disposition .. mis- fam
lily said: 4 have three children liv-
ing. and one in Philadelphia. Pa" \
well known long Gi tHurc WA er ath
lete. losing the cl;,: pix a>hip in a
time walk from Was ing, IL tn New
York. cunsoled his defeat ana anus ed
his admirers by dccla!ing that lie was
far aheat. If his olG-i ilue record. wien.
on arriving in the ci;, Of Philadelphia.
his feet went to sleep. and he was un-
able to proceed further with his ac-
cE.tumeG agility.
The members OF fourishng base
ball team. on alighting from he train,
each appeared armed with gigantic
alarm clock which they proceeded to
carry about the town to keep them
awake
a stu more unfortunate. but actual
Occurrence is the one recorded in the
underwriters Journals that P,iladel-
phia IS the only city in tie world en-
ioNin" tsc distinction of having had
one ui - citizens run over and killed
by an unGertaker's hcarse
Actors aoEea,r the f&ncy's tickle fol-
- '''' '''''' "
''''''. f'''t' '''|' - - '''m' '"' ~" '''
49, 1" '''. t'' h'N' |" hn' ''rN nave
,ju penetrated the eIumre.ing per-
ception> of the easy-gcing citizens.
And t,.u,. Philadelphia becomes the
Y We 'he J'he' JeS' '"'
c'ric;.t is : hope. while its unaveng-
~ - a't ~ ~ 'Ne a'o "'e ~
- ''', F'"''' ""
'' w ~. va ~ ''''' NOV III ie-
1"'"'iI eH1'A ''S 'he'".
h"Nf zen CONS "'lp'Nes oeilper-
a''\ 7. use ne her"1 nome ana com
lori win an almost lnoSn'i'anl as
S''' nee on 70 u 'o heaith aho'
10y l.11@er NV :" 'n' mountain
" '"e soo'h s"n'hN'S' ana olefa'l",
'""' 'aeN h3"9' remain III the cl'y OF
''eI' rove ana cue 'Iere- seemingly
''',1A 'oa' e'''e'' IN TWO cases par
,'"''''H hh'" 'h'' '''h eenia nave
h"' 'Ne'S luxury ''a' "ealihs ana
"''N'ous iriei'as ana relatives would
nave tehaefea 10 &" away INTO the
iano oi oAysehons AR ana haimy sun
s"l'e' n"' 1hey refused TO leave-th"
o'' lying N'ei' 'ne winter came, ami
me ".he' i'1serihs to-day held by the
D"'es' ,n'eao OF existence that as
w, 'e ''''' aea'h'
''eie Is serious ana a scleh-
''''' H''e " tue lac' OF ihilaaelphla
=. :: . - . ',''S - people.
= "'''ee"p'e 'ia' the men who
No"'.o' wealth. WIN" hahdie great cor
poI"''ons . ah' engage III vast business
enterprises therein, are alive to their
ns wakeful Il set of men as one wishes