The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-12-11

ten their cndinGS even with
the knowledge that their dead
bodies would create Il most mo-
mentoUs stir in the world. ON the CON
trary. what man would not prefer to
remain alive even at the cost of humble
comfort now and absolute postmortem
obscurity: Moreover. | think that
Clyde French. had he foresccn the stir
his mortal remains were to create in
this world, would not only have chung
madly to life, but would have prear-
ranged for something like Il decent Gre
nation to follow his final departure.
When he left Seattle for Kotzebue
sound l had known him week He
had left the employ Of a newspaper on
the Atlantic coast and must by nature
while waiting to take the ship frater-
nize with us of his trade on the Pacific
coast. We in this tollgate of ALASKA
meet many such good fellows. and Of
this one l remembered one thing dis
dnctly-he was frank in saying that he
left neither kith nor kin behind him
and should not return to the States UNI
I'll prepared to make stir.
Both statements proved to be true,
for when l searched for relatives to
take his remains of my hands found
none, and the return of his mortal dust
to Seattle kicked up more Of fuss
than did the advent Of the original
Klondike nugget.
In the first place that dead thing
didn't have the common decency to ar
rive by daylight, but chose to make its
entry into my affairs on the shady side
of midnight.
The Dolphin from Skaguay put in at
O'Clock in the morning, and the long
shoremen rushed the dead box" across
the dock with prompt respect to sailor
superstition. Then. seeing that it was
directed to the editor of newspaper
the whartnger called me by phone and
told me to send an undertaken for it
forthwith.
An evening paper man deteSts mid
night sensations. Not only do morning
papers get them first. but they disturb
his sleep. So l called up Mr.. Slahbs
parlors and directed that my departed
friends remains be made comfortable
In the morning l received letter by
express from the mysterious regions of
the wonderful north. 1t came from
French himself, and although it had
many weeks start, it had been over
taken by his dead body on the long
Journey out. 1t was curiously abrupt.
but sensational enough to suit even a
day editor:
Sir-This was bad assignment for
me l got the lay. but some other chap
Will get the story. am alone. My dogs
have run away. They will starve. I've
food, but no fuel. l shall freeze in a few
hours. It's cold deal. and I'm scooped.
If any one discovers me, | want my
body shipped to you. Bury it where it's
warmer than 1t is here I'd like 1t to
thaw out. l detest a fellow who is too
stiff to unbend on proper occa sions.
i haven't any convenient sack of dust
with which to defray expenses. Charge it
to the news department and let the story
OF my death offset it. Don't let anybody
step in with a distant relative gag. am
going to my people now. They were in "A
warmer climate when they started over,
but they are just as dead as IN ever be.
Goodby.
Put this ON the first page and don't let
the foreman make over and kin off
Top head and double loaded, you know
Make 1t lively to make up for my present
loncSomeness. I'm giving it to YOU be-
cause | always preferred the evening pa
per. Put II on the A. l.. wire early. Yours
in the flesh, CLYDE FRENCH
Then followed Il statement. undated
and unsigned. to the effect that n party