The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-09-13


 has to do wid de state of de we'd der, den I gets a specimen of de finest brand of French ragging dat de market affords.
 don't know was it dat she missed connection wit a parasol she expected to get from Miss Fannie, or what ell, but one day Duchess gets me in corner and she says, "Cheems, what is your position in dis house?"
 Second man," says. "Didany- body ring?"
 ''Is it de second mans place to be groom for Miss Fannie?" Duch- ess says.
 I rides after her." says I. be cause I was brought up to do it proper when I was a kid, and Whiskers could take a hitching strap to me if ever took me eyes off Miss Fannie when she was riding. Dat job is special"
 You are valet for MT. Paul." says Duchess.
 He has Jap valet of his own," says I.
 But you order his boots," says Duchess. You get him ready, if he's only going somewhere for a weekend"
 Oats because de Jap orders riding boots for yachting; and if he gets nim ready for trip, he never knows where he'll land"
 HnnCa jc rnnr av0Icnc cove Duchess. De odder soivants would tink more proper of you if you done only second mans woik." "I'll tink about dat" I says, "when de odder soivants pays me wages. Whats on your mind, wo- man?" I says. 'It's not me job dat's boddering you. Sing your song, and dance your dance, and let me see where you're att
 You is de real director of de soicus and I have no part in it." says Duchess, and dat shows me where her little bootees was pinching.
 We was getting up soicus-a amatoor soicus-for de benefit of yacht sailors orphans; what dere ain't any of em nearer dan Scan- dehoovia, where de yacht sailors come from. But dat made no diff ference; dere had to be benefit, and yacht sailors orphans had a romantic sound as Willy Widdy said so dat went; and our folks said de soicus might be held on To conveniences for solving tea.
 Dat put it up to MT. Paul to be director, and he, being too strong to woik hard, puts it next to me. Dere was a swell comes over to take charge of de riding turns, and I gets up some comics for de laugh side of de show, and takes charge of de woilmen getting up de tents and seats; and looks after de places where refreshments was to be set up; and gets de band, and teaches de clown how to do a comic fall, practices up a few tumbling tricks of me own, learns our kiddie-Little Duke-to do a riIg-master turn for Little Miss Fannie, and almost had something to do.
 Soon as she heard dat dere was to be a soicus Duchess was eroisy to be part of de show. Dere's whole bunch of tricks she can do, but none of em is in de soicus line and I had to pretend dat l wasn't on to what she wanted. If dat goil didn't have to woik for a living she be a actress. Sure! never did see a woman y'ho liked to be in de lime light more dan Duch- ess. And she's all right when she's dere for she aint bit shy as good locker; but she belongs to de mod ern school, and thinks dat to be a good-looker is all dere is in de game, and won't study no part. I've tried her in de teeatricals we has ev'ry Winter in de soivants' hall.
 But dat dug no subway wit her; she was bound to be in de soicus, and when couldn't see it, de way she found places where l was mile off from being. It was a won- der.
 Of course, a man dat wants to, can beat woman wit hammer; hut if a hammer isn't in de game, de easiest way to do, if you've got to beat her, is not to. So 1 hustled to find job in de soicus dat Duchess could hold down, and got it. had to.
 I had a turn I was rehoising Lit tie Miss Fannie, and our kiddie and de bull pup. Little Miss Fan nie was to put de pup trough his tricks, while Riddle was ring master. De pup done noble in all his tricks except dat he was no dead sure proposition on going trough ae hoop every time. Mostly when de Little One held de hoop, after we'd covered it wid paper, de pup would balk, till he'd run around behind 1t to make sure dat Little One had de piece of meat he was to get If de hoop wasn't covered he'd see de meat, and go trough like a shot.
 I doubles de size of de chunk of meat, but it was no sure ting dat ned butt de paper till he'd took a peep behind to see for fair dat his wages was dere. You see, he didn't like de paper end of his trick, anyway; and I was up against how to make de turn a sure shot, till, one day, de folks from our house come down on de lawn to see us rehoise. Willy Wid- dv was along, and she held a pint measure poodle in her arms. She was wise. Dat poodle was always in her arms If she was strolling within a mile of de bull pup. I had sometimes fought dat de pup had fl made up his mind dat to die