The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1903-06-20

g B. Z. e . Y y
OF that. pap Kind father-"Yes. In.
deed. I've been borrowing money oa
him for six months, and still he keepa
coming. Stray Stories. s:al
Phllosophie Murphy recovering from
= twenty-foot fali- Well, / had to
come down for nails, anywayg''---
Glasgow Evening Times.
Deacon Johnson--'Nhat 20 doin'
now. Abe?'' Abe Hardcasc Cleanin'
out . bank" Deacon Johnson-"Pres-
Ment, cashier, bookkeeper, or Janitor,'
-Leslie's Weekly.
ellison Bjenks consults his wife
about everything. Wilson-so UNI
derstand. And generally does Just ex- I
actly opposite from what she says
Somerville Journal.
81 think have met you Before.
Aren't you timekeeper for the Bloss
& Goss Company mo, sir. am q
singer of topical songs and know moth
Ing at all about keeping time."-Kan- q
SaS City Journal. 4s4E l#3 @3h+ g..
Farmer HaydItch Ito his neIghboE
Farmer Turniptop)-"Hallo! Going in
for baFbedwire fencing, eh? Isn't it
rather doarr' Turniptop-"Yca, but
then you see my men don't waste time
eittiRg ON itF'-Pick- Me-Up. eli ,.grgasr
drop me q lineV' cried the excur-
y sionist who had fallen overheard.
whats the user calmly rejoined the
alleged funny man Of the party.
There isn't any postofice where you
are golng."-American Hebrew.
The Ssnate-"How long can you talk
without dropping dead in your
tracksr Senator Morgan-"That IN
not tho question. How long can You
listen to me without dropping dead
In your tracks New York Evening
Post. 49,. ,............
How they spend their, time: She
Flows the motor-car getting ON. Sic
Ch0rlssr' He-"Well, fact 10, I've
seen very little OF 1t. You see, rye
only had 1t three months, and when
1t isn't in hospital. I am"-LoNdf7
Punch. rig
Worked Both Ways: JagGles-Ar&
they good divorce lawyerST u" Waggles
Best IN the business. They've Origi-
mated over q hundred different wayR
Of collecting Rlimony. and &C many
more foE evading the payment Of It"
Judge. .-.~ -A.- ~ .-..-:
Effective: Bjenks-"Do you believe
In the possibility Of the cure Of disease
By suggestion B1inkS-"Why, Ger
Ealnly. l was feeling pretty sick last
week. and my wife suggested l 80 to
doctor and It cured me right away"
: -Somervill0 Journal.
Doctor makes no mistakes: Patient
But, Doctor, only last week you SAID
/ would surely die. and to-day you see
, | am aB we'll aS ever was" Doctor
-"Sir. never make . mistake In a
diagnosis. Your ultimate demise In
, only q matter Of time."-Chlcago News.
Maud-"I feel 70 sorry for poor Lii
f liam. She and Reggie had 1t all plan
: ned to slepe, and now they have to give
t It up." Jack-"What 10 the trouble"
e Maud-"she can't persuade her Stingy
= old papa to give them the money to
carry It out."-Kansas City Journal
First Citlxen-I hope we are not go
ing to have many more OF these MD
eous skyscrapers. Second Citizen-G
used to feel as you do until everybody
began to burn soft coal. Now 1t seems
- to me the sky needs all the scraping
', that can be given lt.-Boston Trans
! er4pt.
:. Physician-The truth can no longer
O be hidden. madam. | am obliged to
l. tell you that your little son is-er-
q weak-minded. That is-well, it must
r. be said-he 10 an idiot. Mrs. Highupp
How fortunate It 10 that we are rich.
4 No one will ever notice it.-New York
d Weekly.
10 stranger-"Have you a good catarrh
If curer' Druggist-"Yes, sir; have the
T. very thing you want" Stranger
n Gan you recommend IT." Druggist
~ sure. have catarrh myself. and
d I've used nothing but this preparation
for nearly twenty years."-Chicago
to Daily News
h City Editor-Did you say he had
err nothing to say? Reporter-Not at ALL
e. Pm sure he did have something to
Id say. otherwise he would not have said
s. to me that be had nothing to say. Ii
SO no hadn't had anything to say he
~ wouldn't have heSitated to say it.
Philadelphia Press.
Id AdmireT-"Don't you think that you
b. ara rather unreasonable to expect me
I'D to take you 10 q ball, stay awake until
i four O'Clock. and then get up at eight
he to 10 to my work" Young LADY
ry ''I may be q little unreasonable Dol
"a RS perfectly brutal Of you to menuon
ce t."-New YORK Weekly.
to "Tm getting painfully careless, my
III dear I've just found portrait Oh
le' George Washington in my cost pocket
that has been there for the last ter
he davs," well. don't see anything
De- SERIOUS about that" Don't you. my
1850 tn, Glad IN hear It, You see