The Grit-advocate., 1903-10-02

This thing of impure milk" said
Mr.. Thompkins, glaring fierceIy across
the breakfast table, has got to be
stopped"
Yes, dear" said Mrs. Thompkins,
meekly.
''lt must cease; it must cease in
stanter," said Mr. Thompkins, bang
ing his hand down on the table.
Why, of course" Mrs. Thompkins
said hastily. But | am not to blame,
dear. l am sure it isn't my fault"
No. / am not blaming you, of
course" interposed Mr.. Thompkins,
but just the same, if you housewives
had any sort of common sense. com
mon horse sense, madam, such stuff
as the milkman calls pure milk would
not be left at the consumers doors.
Here is all this agitation about milk.
The papers are full of it. The city
authorities admit that the milk sold
in the city is shy on butter fat and
weak on protein. Yes. madam, weak
on protein. l doubt if there is enough
protein in the milk left at our door
this morning to make a pudding
with"
What is protein?" asked Mrs.
Thompkins meekily.
Protein" said her liege. Protein?
Why, protein is-look here, ! thought
everybody knew what protein was"
mo, dear, l don't
Just what l said" snorted Thomp-
kins. Here you are posing as a
model housekeeper and you don't
know what protein is and you would
not know a cupful of butter fat if you
met it in broad daylight walking down
the street"
What is butter fat, dear?'
Butter fat? Butter fat, madam, is
what they put in buttermilk."
"Oh."
"And all this talk. madam, all this
nonsense about having the milkman
put skinned milk in red cans, and
sour milk in blue ones, and clabber
milk in purple cans-why, it's all rot.
What is to prevent the milltman from
putting the thinnest kind of milk in
the best looking cans he's got. The
only remedy is for the housekeeper to
acquire some intelligence and to make
the tests for herself. I'd like to see
the milkman pass off some skim milk
on me. I'd skim him"
Il suppose you would" said Mrs.
Thompkins.
You bet I would. I'd show him.
And what's more I'm going to show
him. I'm not going to stand for this
any more. III show that milkman
that brings chalk and water mixtures
around to this house there is some
body here who is smarter than he is.
That's what. Has he called yet this
morning.
No." said Mrs. Thompllins. ''He is
late to-day and hasn't been here
yet"
Good. Splendid." said Mr.. Thomp-
kins triumphantly. "Ah. he shall find
out there is somebody here that
knows milk when he sees it
There was a ring at the back door
and Mrs. Thompkins nervously ad-
mi.ted that the milkman had arrived.
MIR. Thompkins, with a great resolu-
tion written in his face, strobe out
into the kitchen and ordered the maid
to admit the milkman.
The milkman entered.
Il want you to understand that you
can't leave impure milk around this
house any more
who's been a-leaving impure milk,
l want to know" demanded the milk
man.
"You have!" shouted Mr.. Thomp-
kins.
"Nothin' of the kind" declared the
milkman. Il haven't left any milk
around here but what was good and
all right"
You can't fool me-" shouted
ThomphinS. Il read the newspapers,
and l -now about the kind Of white
paint fIid you fellows deliver tc year
customers. But I'm on, you bet I'm
on, ana | want to warn you. We
don't need a whole lot of chemical
apparatus around this house to tell
whether milk is pure or not. And we
don't need any chemist sharks. either.
There's a real little old milk tester
here in Thompkins' house. Yes. sir,