Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-04-02
The American Circus.

w. X. Andrews OF Grand Rapids
Mich, at recent toast, got off the
following appeal to the F'illipinos:
''You Fillipinos don't know what
you are missing by not wanting to
become citizens of this grand coun
try of ours. There isn't anything
like it under the sun. YOn ought
to send delegation over to see us
the land Of the free-land of 49,
900 licensed saloons; Bibles, forts
and guns, houses of prostitution,
millionaires and paupers, theologi-
ans and thieves; iberists, liars, po-
liticians and poverty; Christians and
chain gangs; schools and scala
wags; trusts and tramps; money and
misery; homes and hunger; virtue
and vice; land where you can get
a good Bible for fifteen cents or a
drink of wiskey for five cents; where
we have a man in Congress with
three wives and lot of men in the
penitentiary for having two wives;
where some men make sausage out
of their wives; and some want to
eat them raw; where we make bo
logna out of dogs, canned beef out
of horses and sick COWS, and corpses
out of the people who eat it; where
we put man in Jail for not having
the means Of support, and on the
rock pile for aski-g for job of work;
where we license bad houses and
fine men for preaching Christ on
the street corners; where we have a
congress of 400 men to make laws
and a supreme count Of nine men to
set them aside; where good whiskey
makes bad men and bad men good
whiskey; where newspapers are paid
for SURPRISING the truth and made
rich for teaching lies; where professors
draw their convictions from the same
place they do their salaries; where
preachers are paid $25, 600 to dodge
the devil and tickle the ears Of the
wealthy; where business consists of
getting hold of property in any way
that won't land you in the peniten
tiary; where trusts hold up and
poverty holds down; where men
vote for what they do not want, for
fear they won't get what they do
want by voting for it; where mig
gers can vote and women can not;
where a girl who goes wrong is
made an outcast and her male part
ner fourishes as a gentleman; where
women wear false hair and men
dock their horses tails; where the
political wire-puller has displaced
the patriotic statesman; where men
vote for a thing one day and cuss it
1854 days; where we have prayers on
the floor of our National Capitol and
whiskey in the cellar; where we
spend $4,000 to bury a statesman
who is rich and $40 to put away a
working man who is poor; where to
be virtuous is to be lonesome and to
be honest is to be crank where we
sit still on the safety valve Of energy
and pull wide open the throttle of
conscience; where gold is substance
the one thing sought for; where
we pay $4,000 for dog and fiftee n
cents dozen to poor woman for
shirts where we teach the
the 'untutored' Indian eternal life
fir ON the Bible and kill him off with
bad whiskey where we put a man
in Jail for stealing loaf of bread
and in congress for stealing rail
road; where the check book talks,
sin walks in broad day light, justice
is asleep, crime runs amuck, corrup-
ton permeates our whole social and
political fabric, and the devil laughs
from every street corner. Come to
us, Fillies! We've got the greatest
of good things and bad |
things, hot things and cold things,
all sizes, varieties and colors, ever
under one tent. "
A " L. ~,z>1l