Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-05-23
JOYCE'S GREAT JOKE.

brothers, neither oil whom had ever seer
her husband, though Ms. Joyce has speni
two summers in the west since ner marriage
| As matter Of fact, Fred Joyce was the
most devoted Of husbands, and bis wife was
| dreadfully in love with him. He was making
good salary and taty lived IN fine apart
ment building.
Ii Joyce ever had had any bad habits he
| cut them all off snort when he was married
-all except one, which is the reason for
this truthful tale.
One evening about month ago Mr.. and
| Mrs. Joyce were sitting in their living
| room after dinner Joyce was smoking a
/ cigar and reading the evening paper Mrs
| Joyce was at the typewriter, pounding out
1 her regular weekly letter to her mother in
| far off Nebraska.
/ She had covered one sheet, and had a
fair start on the second, when the telephone
bell rang in the ball.
Joyce started to get up, but his wife was
I before him.
I'm answer that. Fred !" she sad. I'm
expecting message from Mr< jenkins"
Something was e matte VIZ the iele
phone that evening. and Me-. joyce had l.
terrible time with Il ~ lsfsi ard Tor sev
eral minutes she could get no answer to lei
calls OF Hello! Wa; j. wantea:'
Some demon M q into Jovee',
head while his wife vas star r.ire wit the
phone that YES :iwf.rnity Il
have li.le d wt4a Hes ala tie type.
writer lie took asA er lect. on ir.ofht
hall. and saw III e wa bu,s with the
phone Ten I ;auever l. ti.c typewriter
sat down ard added t'se following para.
grapa 10 IS ~ G written on the sec.
and mage OF her letter:
"1on will be srtp'i-od to ear that since
| wrote you last a great c aree has come
over Fred. You know how god lie hes al
ways been 10 me and the children. Well,
within the last few weeks he has taken to
drinking. lie comes home now in a cordi
ton of intoxication once or twice every
week He not only beats me, but he is
cruel to the children. don't know how
long J will be able to stand it. | haven't
written You before, because / have been
hoping that ne would reform. But | see
little hope for it. At this minute he is out
somewhere, engaged, ! suppose, in wild
revei. II is, indeed, sad state of affairs ,"
Fred" called his wife, "this message is
for you, as near as can make out.
Joyce slipped away from the machine and
hurried to the telephone.
~ never had such time in my lfe," SAID
Mrs. Joyce, as she passed her husband in
the hall. Il couldn't get anybody for the
longest while. ! think there must be fire
down at your office"
In the excitement which followed Joyce
forgot everything about what he had added
to his wife's letter. The building in which
Fred's Office was located was, in fact, on
fire, and the call was for him to come down
town at once. He put on his overcoat and
hurried to catch an elevated train. Mrs.
joyce, left alone, sat down to her type
writer and wrote paragraph to the effect
that Fred's Office was on fire and that she
was half distracted. Then she sealed up the
letter, without looking it over and dropped
it into the mail box in the hallway of the
fiat building
1t proved that the downtown fire was not
at all dangerous 1t was out before Joyce
got downtown, and he was back home with.
in an hour. But all memory Of the prac.
teal joke he played on his wife had left
him. and she, poor soul, knew nothing about
it,
As quickly az the mails could get out to
Western Nebraska and back again came
letter from Mrs. Joyce's mother. 1t came
while Fred was downtown at work, and
Mrs. Joyce received and read it with won.
der and horror.
Dearest Ellen" the letter said. "you
must realize what terrible shock to us all
your letter has been. We all hope that the
situation Is not as bad as it seems to YOU
Do YOU really mean what you saw Can it
be possible2 After what ! saw during my
stay in Chicago ] can scarcely realize that
it is all true. Beats YOU and is cruel to the
children? How could you have the heart
to tell me about your success in canning
pineapples with such an awful thing on your
mind? Try and do the best you can for a
few days until Brother Jack reaches you.
He leaves for Chicago tonight and will see
that no harm comes 70 my little girl"
Mrs. Joyce read that and easped for
breath. She had not the slightest idea what
it was all about. She thought over what
she had written in her letter, but she could
recall nothing exciting except, perhaps, the
reference to the fire in Fred's office. She
decided foolishly that she would say moth,
ing TO Fred about it until she knew more.
So she sat down and wrote to her mother.
asking what in the world she meant, put a
special delivery stamp on the letter and
mailed it.
Joyce, all unconscious of impending evil,
went about his usual work
One afternoon. day or two later. he was
sitting in his office, when Mr. Jack Flatters
was announced to see Mr.. Joyce Ellen
Flatters was Mrs Joyce's maiden name
and Fred knew that she had big brother,
Jack, whom he had never seen. So, when
the name was brought him, he sent back
word to have Mr.. Flatters brought right in.
Mr.. Flatters came. He was something over
| six feet in height. He wore wolfskin
overcoat and a fur cap, and he lowered
above the other people in the insurance
, Office like a mountain in the clouds. In
| cidentally he had heavy black mustache
| and a nasty black eye.
| I'm Jack Flatters, OF Western Springs,
Neb,, said the big man. "Are you Fred
Joyce?"
Eyes, indeed, am" said Joyce, starting
to get up and holding out his hand, land
I'm mighty glad to see my big brother"
But the big man in the fur coat thrust one
hand into his overcoat pocket, and, holding
the other in what seemed to Joyce threat.
| ening attitude, simply glared down at him