Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-01-31
SCHOOLS OF CRIME


millions In it," said the grizzied man with
the skull cap, in the rear seat Of the smok-
ing car. as he took long swig from his
green flask and restored the flask to his
pocket.
His seat mate. penned in by the car win
dow. gazed miseraby out at the gray fiat
lands of Delaware. and said nothing.
"Of course" went on the man with the
skull cap it'll take time and money to
get the system going right. but you can set
down as one Of the positive eventualities
that inside Of the next decade theren be
criminals polytechnic in every large city
In the United States. with foreign branches.
and correspondence techs in all Of the
smaller towns in this country. It il all
poppycock for the asinine alienists and the
cock-sure criminologists to maintain that
the criminals of today are either organized
or specialized. The low foreheads of the
Bill Sykes type. the yeggs, porch-climbers.
spark grafters and unambitious ground
lings in criminology of that type may pre-
serve a certain sort of organization, but
the high-grade men hold aloof from the
society of the known, out-and-out crooks.
Thus the impracticability of handing down
their science and skill to posterity. OF what
use to the future generations OF criminals
is it for man of today to perfect himself,
at great risk, in the fine arts of the forger,
II there continue to exist no medium where
Dy ne may IEduSt1I{ Ills ShHI' WIN SVu
sit there and maintain that it wouldn't be
sad, not to say distressing thing, II the
expert safe-blowefs of today could find no
means to hand down their hardly acquired
methods to the generations that are to fol
lowT' and the grizzled man with the skull
cap took another long draw out of his green
flask. His seat mate wasn't MAINTAINING
anything, but just penned up by the car
window, looking unhappy.
Now my idea OF the organization OF
polytechnic of crime would be to employ.
as members of the faculty, the very best
known opponents and exploiters of their
respective games. For the head OF the
school of counterfeiting we could obtain
the most notable all-around counterfeiter
in the businessman not in custody at the
time we'd need him-and we could pick up
the most eminent of the forgers to aid in
the preparation Of the curriculum devoted
to that highly diversified branch OF crfm1-
nal learning. We could obtain these men
at fair rates Of compensation, l am sure,
while they were not busy in the practice
Of their professions, just as lawyers ana
medical men are willing, not to say eager,
to devote by lecturing and other ways
their leisure time to the upbuilding OF in
situations of learning 1t would not be
many years before the branch institutions
would be born of the parent polytechnic OF
crime, and thus would be disseminated
throughout and among the whole people
easy and delightful ways and means of
obtaining livelihoods without work-ways
and means now monopolized to large ex-
tent by individuals who are often I'M
worthy.
GAS for students, there would be no
dearth of them from the very beginning.
The country Is filed with young men VINO
are beginning to realize more and more
the non-necessity Of the further existence
of the curse of labor-and whose efforts to
gain, without expert instruction, a practical
knowledge of how to live without work
are really, believe me, pathetic. These
could continue in their present degrading
NJ mot
drivers, typeWriterS, shipping clerks, ETC.,
so as to provide themselves with the money
with which to pay their tuition at the poly
technic of crime, at the close Of which
time of course, they would be able to i'm
mediately start into the practice OF the
professions for which they found them
selves most fitted.
"As to these professions, immediate and
great improvements all along the line
would be inaugurated. Every course would
be made as thorough as the necessity Tor
a complete mastering Of appliances would
permit. Take the course for safeblowers,
for example At the very outset the stu
dent choosing this course would be In
structed in the most approved modern
methods for obtaining surreptltlous en-
trance to bank buildings and other tnstttu-
lions of deposit. He would be given good
wor king idea Of electrical wiring to enable
him to conquer and overcome such mean
and underhanded, not to say ungentleman-
w. contrivances as burglar alarms. After
being put through a careful course OF this
sort, he would be grounded in the science
of high explosives, SO as to enable MIN TO
perceive at glance just the sort OF ex-
plosive he would require under any and all
circumstances This would be followed by
thorough instruction in the uses and
handling of modern safeblowers' tools, with
practical illustrations In the hardest known
armor plate with bits, drills and so on, the
idea being that the successful safeblower
should be able to do anything connected
with his profession. like self-made rail-
road president.
..The forgers' curriculum would probably
only be taken up by progressive young men
with a natural inclination to and talent
for penmanship, and the course would be
equally thorough and up-to-date. A first
rate knowledge of the banking business
would be first instilled, as a matter of
course, and we would expect, by the way,
to have a large number OF proficient bank
clerks enter their names for this course.
Then the most important feature OF the
course, namely, the actual making Of the
paper would be entered upon, and after
a student had thoroughly mastered this
the comparatively easy work Of tnStruct1ng
him how and when to lay down the paper
to obtain the best results would be taken
up.
necessarily be organized on large lines,
dividing as the profession necessarily is be-
tween the coiners, engravers and the SHOW
ers but a proper amount OF attention
would be devoted to each of these branches
to assure the success of the graduated stu
dent The porch climbers and second-story
mems class would include athletics Of all
descriptions, especially vaulting and hurdle
work and the confidence mems curriculum
would be particularly designed to develop
the oleaginous qualities of those taking up
this well-paying branch Of modern industry.
The green goods.
wilmington"
The man with the skull cap was lifted
to his feet by his seat mate to whom he
was handcuffed for the ride to the foolish
house He had only imagined he had been
gulping absinthe during the train trip.