Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-05-16
i1g,k
aaEs2S;7ag5E

Shc-Jack wants quiet wedding.
Her Chum-Well. let him have it, It's
the last quiet day he'll ever have
New York Journal.
Mrs. Stubbs-They have captured the
cleVerest hotel robber in the country,
my dear. Mr. Stubbs-Indeed Which
hotel did he keep?
Anxious Mother-Tell me. doctor. Is
Il dangerous case? Physieian-I
fear it is. He has breakfastfooditis in
in an advanced stage, Judge.
Miss Stayler- Everybody says I
don't look my age Miss Pertlcigh--
or course you don't, dear II would
be impossible, Boston Transcript
And so Professor Gustavus has at
last discovered the missing linki
Where did he find it?" Under the bu-
reau, l understand. ~ Baltimore News.
Father-Are you and this Mr.. Simp-
son congenial, daughter? Daughter
oh, yes. pa; he likea 70 hear me talk
about myself and like to hear him
talk about himself.
Miss WhyIey-I wonder II that Jones
woman is married or single. Miss No
tise oh, she is married; for two Eas-
ters she has had the same hat,-Wom-
ans Home Companion.
Employer-Ye / advertised for
strong boy Think YOU will ill the
bill? Applicant Well, l just finished
lickin' nineteen other applicants out
in de hall.--St. Louis star
Point of Niew,--'See here, young
man." said the minister You never
paid me that fee for marrying you"
You're mighty lucky | haven't sued
you for damages. Tit Bits.
Miss Flyrt oh. yes. I've had nine
proposals since | saw you last, Miss
hewitt Indeed! And did you finally
reward his perseverance by accepting
him? Philadelphia Catholic Standard.
Quite Unlike: why, George, what
an enormous pile Of letters exclaimed
the bride of week; billets douX,
suppose" "No, my dear replied the
other half OF the sketch; they are bill
lies overdue. &C Chicago News.
A Query; He-Heres a puzzle for
you. She Let's have It, Hc-Give a
woman bunch of photographs to ex-
anime, including one of her own,
which one will she look Mt the longest
and why? Philadelphia Ledger
Kitty You didn't look bit pleased
when Fred told you you were the best
girl in all the world. Esther-IIad L
shown how pleased | was, it would
have so tickled his vanity that he'd
be saying the same thing TO every girl
| he met.
Tenant (angrlly)-The cellar of our
house is full of rats What are you
going to do about 1t? Landlord (oalm-
lyl- Nothing What do you expect for
seventeen dollars month anyway-a
cellar full of white micc?-ChicagO
Daily News.
His Mlscue: II would be happy iflI
might Just git and look at you all
day." he said. That's nothing" she
replied; "a know people who would he
glad If they might just sit around and
stare at nothing all day. Chicago
Record Herald.
Positively Brutal She Just see
how much Your little wife loves YOU.
She made this cake for You all by her
self He-Yes, darling, and now if
You will eat it all by yourself l shall
possess indisputable proof Of your de-
yotion.-C Chicago News.
Young Lady Customer | don't know
just what l want Can't you suggest
something? Clerk Here's book ]
think it might please You. II starts
out with the scene laid in England
and Customer Oh don't care
how it starts. How does it cnd?--
Kansas City Journal.
Yes said the man from Georgia,
reminisccntly, II remember the time
when slaves were worth three thou
sand dollars a head" "Oh. that's moth.
ing" sncered the New York sexton;
what do You suppose the slaves Of
fashion In my church were worth per
head OF Eastern Judge.
Appreciated: There was very small
audience present, and It was rapidly
dWindliHg away. On the stage, the
hero and heroine are holding u rem
devious. Hero Ito heroinc) Are we
alone! Heroine thinking of the audi
ence) Not yet. There are two fellows
near the door who look as il they
might be able to sit through another
act. Illustrated Bits.
Some one tells us Of "A dude in n
lorsc car, who seeing a young lady
whom he thought to be impressed with
his personal charms, crossed over and
took seat beside her, and said:
Haven't | met you somewhere be
!orcF" TO which she replied, in a.
voice heard by the other passengers:
I'm not quite sure, but / think you
ire the man that stole our spoons
rhe passengers laughed and the dude
eft the car.