Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-07-15
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The second day out: Sailor (shout-
ing) Man overheard! Newlywed
(groaning)-Lucky dog.-Puck.
Gladys-So, Beatrice is finally mar
ried? How did she come to take the
plunge? Ethel-She didn't. She was
showed off by six younger sisters
Puck.
A happy faculty: Young Tutter Ito
hostess)-I have had very pleasant
evening. But then l always manage
to enjoy myself no matter where am.
Life.
Estate Agent Ito laborer's SOM
Here, my boy, where can find your
father? Boy-In the pig stye. sir.
You'll know i'm by is brown 'at!-
Punch.
At the price: Mrs. Bumble-By the
way, John, there are Strawberries in
the market. Mr.. Bumble-Are there2
| That's the best place for them.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Sure, Murphy was wrong, an he
knowed he was wrong an he owned
up loike little man." "Dld he, now?"
"Yis; but he licked the other man
fir-rst!'-Puck. u- 4.
His habltual reticence: Reporter Tin
vestibule)-Is 1t true that Mr.. Gotrox
has just died? Butler (cautiously)-
1t Is; but he has nothing to say for
publication.-Puck.
| He didn't count: 80 your house Is
being built at last?" YES" 81 thought
the plans didn't suit you" "Oh, they
don't, but they suit my wife and the
architect now."-Baltimore News.
Look at the way baby's working his
mouth" exclaimed Mrs. Newman;
NOW, he proposes to put his foot In
It," Hint" replied her husband,
grumpily; editary."-Philadelph
Press.
Ready for any emergency: He-If I
should kiss you, what would you dot
She-I never meet an emergency until
1t arises. He-But If 1t should arise?
Shield meet 1t face to face.-Yale
Record.
Retrograding: Farmer Ragweed-
Has Bill learned anything tew collegef
Mrs. Ragweed-No; an wuss'n that,
he's forgot what he ulster know! Says
caro News
,...., NJ.
,shar ea aan o ron snai, hansoa Gna,,sh
man-'Orse? Why. certainly. 1t honly
takes hatch and no and har and
a hess and a he to spell 'orse.-Kansas
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20 -. ~, 49,, e1. y. .ou. ~, IN. -.
s " o, -. ,l'ne ~ ~ u.n lvo III ~. ~,
oo ."A' anu ne eea.enuu W :"
~ nN,e W .n ~, ..oeA WIZ penen' eo''
nee'on A'ef
NICE oio man: Gooo heavens, boy!
are you smoklngf Muggs-Me smok-
~ GUY, ue very susplc,o,l cu.s ine
ue au..h. why, ~ just keep'n uls
ou,' lisn .' ~ cuse ue guy VINO urop-
p.u =. coines pach'-t>e" AorA sun.
The real thing: Won Quizz-What
does your friend write? Nerse7 Nov
els? Tragedies? II. Kashe-Great
Scott, what DO you take MIN for! An
amateur7 NO, SIT! de writes aovert,ss-
ments, OF course!-New orleans Ilmes-
pemocra'.
Relaxation: feel happy today"
said the club woman; haven't
thing in the world to do. Not 9 clubs
| 10 attend: I'm going In for gQme,
relaxation. I'm going to clean house!
and have good ttme!-Ptttsburg
Dispatch.
Better thus: Don't you think"
asked the anxious young playwright
after the first performance, that I
might have Improved 1t some by put
ting 1t In three instead of four actsf"
well. no." the critic replied; Il hardly
think SO. The curtain wouldn't be
down as much In that case as 1t %
now."-Chicago Record Herald.
Its softening influence: Mrs. Ma.
hoole = Shure, thot Uncle Toms
Cabin" made good boy out az. mo
Micky. Mrs. O'Toole--O'im glad to
hear thot. Mrs. Mahoole-Yis, ut
gave him finder heart Phoy, wud
yes behave ut, Win he cum out Az
tn gallery lie trold TO murther SIX Kids
that lated whn Little eva doled.-
Chicago News.
Jason Mason-There goes that city
preacher who's thinkin' NV acceptin' q
call here. His church in the city wuS
boycotted. Hiram Huskinby-Wha
Great gosh! A church boycotted? What
fer? Jason Mason-Yew see, the street
railway strikers darn near killed nom
union Teller, an that thoughtless
preacher went an comforted the poor
chap durin' his last hours!-Puck.
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eo'np"n !. 49, -.
.,,,,,,n no ,n,aht assent hI,nsa,f .Nts -
WIZ w ha,S,,,ss -, III 80. a' 10.
800, u t. soorn .oen,t hara sa,,.