The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-12-17

a progressive euchre,w wild silver sugar
bowl as first prize.
DE wife of Cicero White has giben
readings and recitations, wild music on
de parlor organ.
DE daughter of Moses Slowfoot has
dun got married off, an mo- dan fo'
quarts of oysters was used up to make
de weddin' soup.
''These things have seen an heard,
! my frens, an is it any wonder dat !
feel my ha'r tryfn' to stand on end2
Extravaganza here, extravaganza dere.
extravaganza on cherry hand. It was
different in de ole days. an it's got
to be different agin or yo' am gwine
to land wild bump dat will make yo-
tired fur a var afterwards. I haint
sayin' dat de Guild man shouldn't seek
to improve his posishun, intellectually,
socially an financially, but I'm tellin'
yo' dat yo' am walkin' into a trap.
| 'Bekase de white man does dis or dat
1t don't foller dat yo' should initiate
him, which is Jest what de hull crowd
of yo' am dom. Tze bin libin' in dis
! yere world ober so vars. l nebber had
! q box at de postoffis an Wit I could al
lus borry a dollar when I wanted to.
I nebber had a cuckoo clock but I
could allus git credit wild de grocer an
butcher. I nebber had no parlor organ,
/ but white folks have called on me in
sickness an offered sympathy an mon
ey. 1 nebber had real carpets an stuff
cheers an sidebo'ds an SIGH, but no
man has had to cum twice to my house
wild a bill.
"rze standin' yere tonight in de
| best suit o. clothes I'ze got, an reck-
on it's about de poorest in de hall. I
had Goldfish an Eaters fur supper, an
Ize gwine to have bacon an Eaters fur
breakfast. I shall go home tonight to
walk on rag carpet an sleep on a
think O. wastin' his time tryin' to break
into my pore leetle cabin. OATS me.
Jest as I stand we're tonight-no plug
! hat, no diamonds, no patent leathers,
| an yit cherry one O. yo' know dat L
have less worry an mo money dan any
fo'ty of yo' put together. I'ze s1ttin
in my oIe-fashioned splint-bottom cheer
an smokfn' my pipe an gwine slow,
| cheers. smokin' yo'r Havana cigars an
maxim de pace red-hot.
''Yo' hain't chen satisfied wild maxim
monkeys of yourselves by tryin' to put
on silver plate; Yo' IS manglin' up dc
good ole English language as dog
| tears meat. Right in dis hall, less'n an
hour ago, heard Samuel Shin say to
/ Waydown Bebee dat de reflex of de
| huctuashun seemed to prognosticate an
| inherent winter. Waydown Bebee didn't
fall down in fit. His eyes didn't eben
bulge out. Oar wasn't de least sweat
on his collar as he answered back dat
1 de emblemati cal deSideratum sometimes
counterbalanced de symphonious con-
StituShun. Think of it! Think of a
Guild man Of twenty vars grabbin' at
de English language an bitin' it off in
SIGH hunks as dat.
my frens am done. I hain't gwine
I to say no mo- on dis subjeck fur hull
var. I'm gwine to keep right on in my
| same ole way, an I reckon dat most OF
yo' will keep right on in yo'r new ways
I hain't putin any obstacles in yo'r
way but I'm gwine to hab yo' plainly
understand dat when de crash comes an
! de parlor organ an cuckoo clock an
lace curtains go sailin' outer de house
dar won't be no use of yo'r rushin to-
wards my cabin. I shall be sittin' right
dar in de same ole place, but I shall be
so deaf dat when yo' pound on de back
doah an want to borry money I shan't
hear yo'.
Let us now break de meetin' in two
an take our patent leather shoes an
dimund pins homewards. "-(Copyright
903 by c. B. Lewis)
The squire's pretty daughter examining
the village ~school)-Now, children, can
you tell me what miracle is?''
The children looked at one another, but
remained silent.
Can no one answer the question:" the
new curate asked, who was standing be-
| hind the squire's daughter.
A little girl was suddenly struck with a
brilliant idea She held up her hand ex-
''Well Nellie" the squires daughter
asked smiling approval.
breathiessly, mother says 'twill be a
| miracle if you don't marry the new Gu
rate. "-London Tft-Bits.