The Indianapolis journal., 1903-09-27
ANSWERS WERE MIXED
ONE MAN WANTED WIFE, THE
OTHER NEW LAUNDREss.
The Lady of the House Got the Wrong
Set Of Letters and There Was
Trouble for the Husband.

New York Press.
One of the members Of the Cotton Ex-
change called Hugh McElroy aside the
other day and told him of a narrow es-
cape he had from being sued for separa-
tion. if not divorce.
1--WE been the most unhappy man on
earth for the last few days" he said, land
I'm not quite sure have cleared my repu-
tation. I'm afraid I'll have to stay at home
nights for a month to restore myself in
the affections of my wife. 1t happened
this way:
MY wife Informed me last week that
the laundress was going TO leave and that
1 had better advertise for a new one. My
wife didn't want to be bothered by having
an army of applicants CALL so she said it
would be as well to have them answer by
letter. i inserted the advertisement. The
man at the window gave me ticket en-
titling me to tickets addressed to e. 6S.'
and 1 went away. The second morning
afterward my wife said to me:
I'm going down town to-day, dear, and
| II you'n give me the ticket I'll stop to see
If there are any answers to the advertise
| ment.'
Il said I'd prefer to get them, as 1t would
save her trouble. She looked at me kind OF
queer. as women will, and said very
| quietly:
" Give me the ticket, Henry
There was nothing to do but to give 1t
| up, and, besides, had no reason for want
| ing to hold out anyway, so l reached in
my vest pocket for it. 1t wasn't there. 7
| Then L forgot where had put IL and went
securing through my clothes, during which
| my wife said:
" Strange you should have so much trou-
BILE finoing that ticket
Finally remembered had put 1t in my
| card case. Again my wife looked at me
slightest cloud on my conscience, L knew
| that 1 looked sheepish i only mention
these things to show how an innocent man
will pile up evidence against himself
THAT night when L went home the wife
of my bosom met me with head aloft and
stony stare 1 tried to kiss her, but she
:" You made a mistake when you gave
! me that advertising ticket this morning. 1
wanted the one about the laundress.'
II protested that the only advertisement
/ had inserted was for a laundress. but my
| wife gave a disdainful sniff and produced a
/ dozen letters, which she handed to me with
read
"'Am blonde. petite and trim Of figure
twenty-one years old, agreeable companion
| and jolly disposition: will be glad to ar
| range an interview. Address -
Il turned cold all over. then hot and then
cold again l felt my face growing red and
| my hair bristling. / looked at my wife.
| She was looking at me coldly, her face
my dear said I. what does this
Read the Others she said ominously.
II opened another. 1t was on paper COW
cred with pink violets 1t read:
| am nineteen years old, five feet six
inches tall and weigh 120 pounds; am dark
| with brown eyes and am Handsome; am
fond of amusement: would like to meet
| you. Address -.
''Chilis chased up and down my spinal
| column, looked at my wife again. She
was smiling murder0usly and her fingers
| were drumming on the table.
~ assure you, my love, said I, but she
| Interrupted me with:
| Here's lot more yet
"FeveriShly L ran through the other let
| ters. They were from girls who described
their charms minutely and made them
wanted TO meet me There were blondes of
| all kinds-tall and willowy, short and
| petite, poetic and musical. artistic and lit
| erary; there were brunetteS athletically in
clined and soulfully dispositioned. oval
/ faced and brown-eysd tall and short, thin
| and plump. But all were bewitching-ac-
cording TO their own description of them
| giddy and 1 giddy when 1 finished the
last and faced my wife.
| There's some mistake I declared.
| ." OF course she replied sarcastically.
| 'I saw that / had TO do something to
| avert the coming storm, SO l Swore by all
| the gods that / knew nothing of those let
| ters; that L had only advertised for laun-
| dress, and that ii was the fault of the clerk
| in putting the letters in the wrong box, but
| my wife cooly turned the letters over and
/ showed me the address, e, 6S.'
! Then the clerk has got the tickets
| mixed
"'Prove it, said my wife
| 81 rushed to the newspaper Office, and
| when ] confronted the clerk who had taken
my ad, l did some pretty good off-hand
| swearing. When / had finished he laughed
| and handed me a bundle of letters.
"A man brought them in while ago.
| he said, and made the same kind OF a kick
Your 'ad.' should have read r. 6S,' and his
| e. 6S.' The addresses seem to have got
| changed Bring back his letters. Here are
| yours
II took a paper containing the other fell
| lows matrimonial 'ad.' home to my wife
| But she isn't sure yet that 1 didn't swap
with some other fellow"