The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-04-18
MRS. B. MAKES A SHIRT.

didn't know a needle from work
basket, but she felt that, as matron
such ignorance was deplorable, and
SO she persuaded Mr.. Blank to buy
her a machine, and then she looked
around for worlds to conquer.
1t was one day when she was brows.
ing around contentedly in the shops
that she got her inspiration. There
were some beautiful shirtings lying
on one of the counters, and yellow
and white striped affair caught her
eye at once. 1t would be SO becom-
ing to Mr.. Blanks brunette beauty.
AS soon as she thought of this her
resolution was taken = she would
make Mr.. Blank some shirts.
To think with her was to act, and
SO enough of the goods she admired
was at once bought, and Mrs. Blank
went home SO full of her project that
she frowned frightfully. Mr.. Blank
was calm when he heard OF the great
scheme. He had never thought much
of homemade shirts, but he was far
too tactful to say so, so he looked
pleased and murmured his conviction
that it was bully idea.
When Mr.. Blank went home from
his Office the next day and entered
the sewing-Ioom the first thing that
met his eye was his favorite negligee
shirt, reduced to its component parts,
hanging in strips on the chairs.
"Why, you've cut up my blue
shirt, haven't you?" he asked, and
he tried his best to keep his feelings
out of his voice.
"Oh, I've only ripped it, DEAR"
replied Mrs. Blank, cheerfully. "It
fitted you so well, and 1 had to have
a pattern. you know"
"Of course" assented her spouse,
meekly, "you won't have to cut up
my pink one, too, will your"
Certainly not,' replied his wife.
Take off your things now and try
this on"
"Try it on Won't it be great
deal of trouble for you?' asked Mr..
Blank, speaking oDe word for his bet
fer haE and I7aSter.h r.hunsaG.0.e m.1~u
/ am working for you. Take off your
coat ''
In the face of all this sweetness
there was nothing for Mr.. Blank to
do but to get ready to be fitted. When
the garment was put on him its tails
swept the floor, and the neck was
somewhere in the neighborhood of his
ears. ''Isn't the confounded thing
little 1ong?" he asked piteously.
Certainly, responded Mrs. Blank.
II shall cut it Off"
Mr.. Blank stood like statue while
he was pinned up here and let out
there. Then, when he was released,
he drew a long, long breath, and
said: "Thank goodness, that is
over"
Mrs. Blank sewed all that evening
and refused to GO to the theatre. 1t
was necessary, she said, that Mr..
Blank should have his new shirt at
once, though that gentleman did not
see why. About 9 o'clock, when he
was deep in "The Virginian," his
wife called him to come quick. He
responded as soon as he could gather
himself together. "Take off your
coat p said Mrs. Blank. II want to
cut out the neck.
''But l have tried the thing on
once" objected the martyr.
Goodness gracious You'll have
to put it on a dozen times yet, !" re-
marked Mrs. Blank, airily. so her
husband submitted to being once more
robed in the new garment and scis-
sored.
The next morning Mr.. Blank was
very busy on case at the office when
the telephone bell rang. He answer
ed it after while. At the other end
| was Mrs. Blank. "Come home at
once |" said she.
"What in the world is the matter r.
asked Mr.. Blank.
ct have put the collar band on and
want to see if it fits. l can't go on
with the work until 1 find out if il
does"
"Well," replied Mr.. Blank, some.
what irritably, II cannot lose a $5oc
case to see if collar band fits"
my, but you are cross !" said the
voice at the other end. "Sure
enough, I can make the sleeves while
l wait, can't 7"
"You can," said Mr.. Blank,
though he had his serious doubts.
| That afternoon when he reached
home his wife was waiting for him al
the door with half-fnished sleeve il
her hand. She fitted it on him as h'
was going up stairs to the library
An hour later she came to where he
lord and master was taking nap
and awakened him to try on hi
other sleeve.
''My arms are mates" growle'
Mr.. Blank, when he understood wha
was wanted.
"I'm not sure that they are" re
piled Mrs. Blank, with spirit. :
read book once that said people
arms were seldom the same length.
Mr.. Blank tried his shirt on twic
more that evening and three times tn
next day. He stood while stitche
were picked out and stitches were pu
in. He did not resent it when h
! was told that he was frightfully one
sided and that he had the bigges
r neck Mrs. Blank had ever seen. Thl
latter speech was VIII n the co
t lar-band had turned out to be to
. small, despite all the fittings.
For one week Mrs. Blank led th
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