davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10
HE HAD THE MONEY.
Inebriated Man Satisfied Clerk He
Could Buy Ship.

Could Buy snip.
In washington. as in all other large
cities, hotel men see some or the queer
est phases of human nature. The ex
hibitions and antics of inebriated
guests are occasionally OF uncommon
interest. To deal with this class often
presents as tough a proposition as
the boniface has to meet. As a rule
the visiting pilgrim at the capital is
as mild hammered man as ever cut
a throat or scuttled ship yet now
and then one proceeds to perpetrate
high jinks in a way he would net
perform at home in century.
A case in point was that of we'll
fixed Westerner, who, with mis- wife
and children, had a suite OF fine rooms
recently at one of the best hotels. The
husband and father went on spree,
and his wife begged the proprietor to
watch his guest, as she knew he car
ried big sum of money about with
him. He kept drinking to excess,
however. and one evening walked up
to the cashier and annouced his pur-
pose to take his family to Norfolk by
boat.
"To-day's boat has already gone"
said the employe. "and you'll have to
wait over another day."
Il guess not" quoth the inebriated
one. I'm going tonight If have to
buy steamer.
maybe you think haven't enough
money to buy one. but I'll show you
differently" and forthwith he dived
down into an inside pocket and. bring.
Ing up a thick leather book, pro.
ceded to count out before the eyes of
the astonished cashier $4,000 in big
bills and New York exchange.
1t is needless to say he didn't pur,
chase a ship. but it took whole lot
of diplomacy to get him to a hospital,
and when 1t came to separating him
from his wealth more than one man
had to join In the struggle. When he
came out of the institution at the end
of ten days he was thoroughly sobered
and said he hadn't the slightest re-
membrance Of the crazy things he tried
to enact.-Washingto Post.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10
Startling the Archbishop.

The following amusing story is.
states Dover correspondent. vouched
for by rural clergyman in East Kent.
The primate paid visit to the village
school, and after telling the scholars
that everyone possessed a besetting
sin, astonished his youthful hearers by
continuing, And even archbishops!
II wonder who can guess what the
archbishops besetting sin is?" asked
his grace One little lad timidly held
up his hand, and on being invited to
give an answer said, Drunkenness"
What the archbishop thought or said
at this amazing reply is not recorded,
but, as everyone knows, DR.. Temple is
a most ardent temperance advocate.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10
Feathers from Handkerchief.

To produce feathers from hand
kerchief, hand large cambric or silk
handkerchief to the audience. and in
form them that 1t contains feathers;
of course they will state that 1t does
not. Express your surprise and ask
for the return of this handkerchief,
and at once produce the feathers you
stated were in the handkerchief, which
you do by having previously purchased
three or four feathers from some OF
the military equipment warehouses.
Before entering the room to begin
your entertainment you take off your
coat, then, holding a couple of the
feathers in each hand SO that they will
fall toward the side of the arms. put
the coat on again; this is easily done.
as the feathers squeeze up to a very
small compass. Being thus equipped,
after receiving the handkerchief. you
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10
SMALL COMFORT IN ANGELS.
Their Presence Made Darkness No
Easier for the Younqster.


1t was at mothers meeting in n
well-known Brooklyn church. The
members of the circle were chatting
as they waited for the chairman to
call the meeting to order. and the
following is one of the anecdotes that
was told:
Edith is the six-year-old daughter
of friend of mine. She is a lively
child and quite capable of forming
her own opinions and of sticking to
them. and is the readiest child to pick
up slang and other expressions not
exactly suited for a little girls
vocabulary that l have even known.
She has always since her babyhood
been afraid of the dark, and her
mother, in spite of fine theories to the
contrary. has humored her little girl
and allowed a light in her bedroom
that Miss Edith was arriving at an
age when reason should help her to
overcome her fears.
so, being a good. really pious
mother. she talked to Edith and told
her that God was always present. and
that nothing could harm her in the
dark.
Might came, and bedtime. Edith
was undressed, said her prayers, and
climbed into her little snow-white
nest. With the goodnight kiss, her
mother said: Now. dear. just think
that the room is full of angels watch.
ing while you sleep
Turning out the gas she left the
room. But being loving. sympa.
thetic mother, she stood for while
outside the door to see how Miss
Edith would stand the ordeal.
After some minutes of intense
stiffness she heard Edith say in a
Jew voice:
'Beau-tee-ful white angels all
(aAound! And then. after a pause:
Nut it beats the old Nick how afraid
t>em of those angels!'"
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10
No Need for Reform.

He's made no resolutions. for his morals
are all right.
He looks not on the wine when 1t II red
or brown white.
He never goes to any clubs or stays out
late at night.
For poker. euchre. whist. or bridge he
doesn't care mite.
He never smokes big cigar. pipe, or
cigarette.
Tobacco holds no sweet and soothing
charms FOR him as yet.
lie doesn't go to races, firt with maidens
bold and gay.
And SO he didn't need to turn new lear
New Years day.
He Is charming fellow. persevering.
shy and coy,
My bouncing. dimpled. rosy, smiling. 1T
tie baby boy.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10
MRS. HAROLD stage.
Copyright ooandi by Bonner Sons
CHAPTER Ix.-tcortinued.)

CHAPTER Ix.-tcortinued) d.
Some of them go to one place and
some to another for all their meals.
There are several decent houses in the
neighborhood where food is provided
three times day at SO much week.
Our friend. Struthers, habitually pa
tronizes one of them. It's the cheap
est method. but as | have served my
apprenticeship at 1t elsewhere. l have
been in no hurry to make selection;
indeed, l have lately induced him to
vary his cuisine by playing the Bo-
hemian with me during the very hot
weather. He was looking peaked and
needed a change. So we breakfast In
this room and lunch as you see. and
we take our dinners-our meal OF the
day-at whatever restaurant happens
to hit our fancy. We are great hands
at discovering out-of-the-way little
places where one can dine appetizing-
ly for a mere song. and perhaps the
next day we HE away to one of the
beaches to enjoy the crowds and ban
quet In a large pavilion, to the music
of a band.'
How delightful" cried Eleanor.
And you must do the same now that
I have come. and take me with you.
Uncle Phineas smiled at her enthu-
siasm.
1T is dogs life at the best, Peach
BLOSSOM" he said. with sigh, drain
ing his tankard. "A trifie more divert
ing than the other. perhaps, but
dogs life, at best. No, my ambition
is to be able to settle down some day
in a little house of my own, where
can have Just what | want. as l want
it and when l want 1t. I'm beginning
to see my way to it, too. Queer fancy
for an old bachelor to have, isn't 1t!
And my only fear-ha! halls that
l shall be morally certain in time to
marry my housekeeper!"
But l shall be your housekeeper.
and you can't marry me-"
"You." he exclaimed. with gay
incredulity. by that time. you"-he
was going to say. will have house
OF your own." but he stopped en-
barrassed, fearful of introducing the
dreaded subject.
"oh, no, sha'n't. Uncle Phin."
she answered stoutly. divining his
intention. 81 know what you were
going to say, and there isn't the
slightest chance of it."
well, WELL" he responded, shyly,
beginning to put away his papers.
lone can never tell what year Will
bring FORTH"
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10
Various Kinds of Pies.

What pies are very conducive t3
sleepiness? Poppies.
What pies were considered very an
noying in olden times? Harpies.
What pies do school boys usually
dislike? Copies.
What pies consider themselves
quite swell? Chappies.
What pies might bite you? Puppies.
What pies might we sit unuer? Cano-
pies.
What pies are noisy and mischiev-
GUS? Magpies.
What pies prance around the water?
Kelpies.
What pies are placed upon the
table but never eaten? Naples.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10
Having Fun With Electricity.

On a dry day rub with a brush or
with the hand thin piece of paper;
it will become electrified in a short
time and adhere to your hands, your
face and your coat as If 1t had glue
on 1t, and you will not be able to get
rid of 1t.
Electrify in the same manner a
thick piece of paper. postal card for
example, and you will see that as with
sealing wax, glass, sulphur or resin
this card can attract light bodies
(small pieces of cork. etc.. Balance
a cane on the back of chair and tell
any one in the audience that you will
make it fall without touching it. blow
ing on it or moving the chair.
All you need to do is to dry tire
card well before the fire. rub it vigor-
ously with your sleeve and put 1t close
TO ore end of the cane. which r.!!l
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10

throw 1t over one hand ard the cuff
of the coat. and with the other hand
draw out the feathers from the sleeve:
the feather resuming its original bulk
entirely misguides the looker-on as to
its previous position. One feather
produced, the handkerchief Is thrown
carelessly over the other hand and
another brought forth In like man
ner, which can be repeated three or
four times without causing suspicion.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10

sible to say. but there is not the least
doubt that 1t will interest those per
sons who are fond of boating and who
are not at all times able to spend as
much time as they desire on the water.
The air to them may seem a poor sub
stitute for water. but II they are en-
dowed with little imagination they
will soon feel quite at home in theiI
aerial boats.-New York Herald.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10
Making Wax Flowers.

Drops of wax falling from lighted
candle on cold water assume the form
of little cups which closely resemble
lilies of the valley. If each cup as II
floats is pierced in the center by
thin wire, pushed to the other end OF
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10

"Shall l go frst?" the young man
asked.
''Oh, no: can find my way. am
used to ladders, for l was brought up
in the country. What lovely night"
she added, as she stepped lightly from
the last round over the sill of the
trap-door.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10
An Amusing Pastime.

A little pastime-ror 1t can hardly
be called trick-may be performed
with five wooden toothpicks. and will
afford plenty OF amusement to the lit
tie folks. and. perhaps. not least so
because the element OF fire is involved
In Its performance. Fasten FIVE tooth
picks together as In the accompanying
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10

average per-
son for a
good quarter
of an hour.
The problem
is: How can
the a b o v e
square be di-
v / d e d into
four e q u a ]
parts of SINH
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10

follow 1t as iron follows a magnet un-
til, having lost its equilibrium. the
cane will fall to the floor.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10

lar shape. SO that each part shall con-
tain three of the rings? The solution
shall appear on this page next week.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10
Here Is a Brain Exercis

A reader has kindly awarded the
Twelve Rings Puzzle" which, he
says, can be guaranteed to mystify the
The Lamar register., 1903-06-10

the wire, and all the little wires at.
tached to stouter one with the small
est flowers at one end. you have fair
imitation of a Towering stalk of tha
lily of the valley. which has a realistic
effect when put in a vase with pointed
leaves of green paper.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-09-08

Roosevelt at Oyster Bay. The President
at once directed that the orders to Rear
Admiral Cotton should not be counter
manded, but that he should proceed di-
rect to Beirut with the Brooklyn, San
Francisco and Machias.
President Roosevelt considers the at
tempt or the life of Vice Consul Magels-
sen as serious from diplomatic point of
view as though the assassin had succeed
ed in killing him. If Turkey does not
promptly comply with each and every de-
mand of the Washington government
Rear Admiral Cotton will be instructed
to seize one or more ports and hold them
until the American demands are granted.
Mr.. Leishman states that Macedonian
conditions are growing constantly more
acute, and that the situation in that sec
ton is extremely grave.
In his cablegram to Minister Leish-
man regarding the report Of the Ameri-
can board Of missions that ali attempt
had been made to burn the Euphrates
college buildings at Harpoot, Acting Sec
rotary Loomis instructed him to demand
of the Turkish government that it take
immediate steps for the protection of the
lives of all Americans there.
United States Minister Leishman at
Constantinople says the mistake in max
ing the original announcement was due
to an error in the transmission. of the
cipher dispatch from Consul Ravndal at
Beirut in reporting the incidCs.t to the
minister.
The dispatches from the minister were
extremely gratifying to the officials of
the government in Washington, as they
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-09-08
Smallest Copy of Lords Prayer.

Prof. Webb, OF the Royal Micro
scopical Society, of Great Britain, pos
sesses the smallest copy of the Lords
PRAYER in the werld. 1t is written
with a diamond upon a piece Of glass,
and only the finest microscopes manu-
featured can distinguish the characters
OF the letters. The naked eye, even
when aided by an ordinary magnify
ing glass, would not be able to read it.
The Lords Prayer covers a space
measured by one five-hundredth Of an
inch one way, and one six-hundred-
and-third part of an inch In another
direction. In other words, it means
inst with writing of that size, Alb
500 letters can be placed in single
square Inch. The force of this is
easier comprehended when we remem-
Der that the Bible contains $500, 4S0
letters, which means that the entire
Christian Scriptures can be written
legibly, twenty times repeated, within
the single space of square inch,
and have vacant space left
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-09-08

The new currency and financial bill
which is being concocted by the sena-
torial coterie and has the presidential
sanction will meet with considerable
opposition both from Republicans and
Democrats before it becomes the law,
If it ever does command a majority of
both houses of Congress. The self-ap-
pointed subcommittee of the Senate
finance committee, consisting Of Sen
ators Aldrich, Allison, Plat of Connec-
ticut and Spooner, have undertaken 10
pass a bill to help the trust magnates,
the Wall street spectators and the
New York bankers out of tight place.
The bill they are now so intent on was
drawn early last summer by the most
able attorneys of the money power.
1t was attempted to be rushed through
the Senate during the closing days Of
the last Congress, but Democratic OPP
position developed and Senator Aid
rich. It's sponsor. had to abandon it.
The popularity about that bill and the
present one that is to take its place is
that. but few outside Of those inter-
ests above mentioned appear to think
il necessary or desirable.
When the object OF the bill is con-
sidered. which is to give the New York
banks the right to keep the S150,OOO,-
600 treasury surplus and TO replace
United States bonds, which the treas
ury now holds as security, with other
city or railroad bonds and to not only
continue the deposit OF the internal
revenue collections IN the favored
banks but TO also deposit likewise the
CUSTOM receipts, it is no wonder there
Is nc public demand for the measure.
The pill which Is now being concocted
By the Senate committee has another
feature that viii be opposed by many
Republicans and probably ali the Dem
ocrats. namely, to allow the national
banks TO issue credit currency.
There is no demand frors the people
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-09-08

The Comptroller of the Currency has
authorized the First National Bank of
Neodesha, Kan, TO begin business with
a capital Of $4,000.
Brig. Gen. A. E. Woodson, U. s. A.
retired, died in Paola, Kan. He was 81
years old and had military service coz
ering forty-one years.
Russian emigrants are aocking to
Kansas in great numbers They propose
TO settle ON cheap lands in the western
part of the State and grow wheat
Egypt does not want any "hootchie
kootchies dancers at the St Louis ex-
position giving exhibitions which are rep
resented to be typical of life in Cairo
]. E. Brown, prominent real estate
dealer, fatally shot Thomas Turnbow,
another real estate dealer, on the streets
Of Garfield, Wash. Turnbow cannot live
and Brown was brought to Colfax and
lodged In the county jail 10 prevent
lynching.
The governor of the Russian province
Kherson has been instructed by the min
sstry of the interior 10 prohibit all meet
tngs Of Zionists and 10 forbid collections
and subscriptions in and of Zionist aims.
August Toedman, ~ years old, drop
ped dead on the street in Ea-es Center,
Kan. of heart failure. He was the
wealthiest man in the county, owning
many hundreds of acres of land and
much town property.
Charles c. Reveridge OF Fremont.
Nsb.. died in Excelsior Springs. No. Of
acute rheumatism. He was State chair
msn for Nebraska OF the Prohibition
party and had been prominent In the
work Of his party ssx fifteen yssrA
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-09-08

ing themselves to apprehenG the assas-
sin. but thus far had been unsuccessful.
Situation at Beirut Critical.
The minister's dispatch also said that
Consul Ravndal had reported to him that
some of the foreign consuls located at
Beirut had reported to their governments
that the situation at that place had be-
come exceedingly unsafe, that this con-
dition of affairs had existed for some
time, and that something ought to be
done to relieve the tension.
The opinion was expressed that the at
tempted assassination of MagelsSen prob
ably wodld bring matters to focus, the
attention of the Turkish government be-
ing drawn to the matter in this forcible
way, and some effort thus be made to
avoid further trouble.
The latest development in the Turkish
situation was discussed in official circles,
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-09-08

farm boys blood was at once on fire
with the excitement of the occasion.
1t was the army of France on the
march, led by the fighting Emperor,
who carved continents and whitfield
out nations as cabinet makers carved
wood and sculptors stone. Brilliantly
the sun flashed on the long line of uni
forms and was reflected from the pol
ished caparisonings of the Emperor's
escort. The farm boy leaned over the
fence and looked, just as boys look
now at passing troops. The Emperor
saw the boy and pulled up his horse to
speak to him.
You are a square-built, stocky lad"
the Emperor said. You would make
a fine soldier"
The keen eyes of the world conquer
or flashed down upon young Eisenhut
admiringly, and yet half In calculation,
as Il he had a mind TO draft the youth
into his army. But DR.. EiSenhu. says
he would have considered this great
misfortune. He was somewhat abash-
ed. and trembled little as he spoke
in reply to the worlds greatest sol
der:
Thank you, but have no wish TO
be q soldier
The Emperor laughed, made some
Joking remark 10 members Of his stan
and passed on, but Eisenhut always
remembered the meeting with the con-
queror and the look OF power on that
imperial face. DR.. EiSenhut recalls
freshly every detail Of this wonderful
incident. 1t is remarkable TO so to
{ St Anthony's Hospital in Denver and
talk with the man who talked with
Napoleon
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-09-08
LIVED IN THREE CENTURIES
AND SPOKE WITH NAPOLEON

Probably the only living man in
America who ever spoke with Napol-
con Bonaparte is DR.. Johann Isaac
Eisenhut, of Denver, 103 years old.
DIR. Eisenhut was born in Hersian
nzell-Ausserhoden, Switzerland,
and was farm boy. He grew up into
a stout, husky youth, looking older
than he really was. He was working
In the fields one day, when, as he
stopped a moment to rest, after the
fashion of the man With the hoe, he
saw the soldiers coming. In that quiet
rural community the flash of a mill
tary uniform was a novelty, and the
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-09-08
warshipe on the Way.

The action of Acting Secretary Darling
in ordering the Brooklyn and San Fran
cisco to proceed to Beirut without wait
ing for the Machias meets with the
hearty approval of the State Depart
ment. The condition of affairs and the
methods of the Turkish government as
already developed indicate to officials
here that only a show of force will Sc
cure the redress demanded
1t is believed that the dispatch of
American warships to the scene in such
haste viii convince the Sublime Porte
that the United States means to make
all its demands effective. The American
squadron will be useful in protecting
Americans who are located in the dis
turbed districts of Turkey and Mace
donna, and further will furnish a refuge
for those who are near the sea coast anl
may suffer from the disorders.
Another urgent appeal has reached the
State Department from the American
board of missions at Boston that imme-
date steps be taken for the protection
of the American citizens at Beirut The
boards dispatches from there for sew
eral days have represented the situation
as extremely grave.
There are at the Euphrates college at
Harpoot fourteen American teachers, be-
sides women and children, and property
to the value of 100000. 1t is learned
that there is an American college at Bel
rut in which are a number of American
teachers. No word has reached the
State Department regarding any attack
on them.
Minister Leishman, in his cablegram to
the State Department, confirms the press
dispatches regarding the news Of the
dynamiting of train fifty miles outside
of Constantinople, stating that many of
the passengers were killed.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-09-08
THE STREET CAR SLAUGHTER
Over 1900 Chicagoans Hurt ia Seven
Months and 81 Killed.

Over 1900 Chicagoans Hurt ia Seven
Months and 81 Killed.
In Chicago the slaughter of innocents
by trolley and cable cars continues, POI
lice department records showing an
alarming increase in accidents this year.
The increase is attributed by Chief of
Police O'Neil to the recklessness of mo-
tormen, the lack of cars and consequent
overcrowding. The number of accidents
for the first six months was LII and
the number of injured reached 1,291.
The deaths numbered Al. In July there
were added 135 accidents, with 15S in
jured and Z deaths. The first is days
of this month saw 81 trolley car acci-
dents, with dead and II injured.
The accidents are decreasing on the
cable trains because the inside foot
boards, except on the grip cars, have
been abolished, and chains are used as
barriers to prevent passengers from fall
ing between the trailers. The fender is
also more useful ON a cable grip car than
on an electric car, as the grip does not
60 at anything like the rate Of speed the
trolley car attains.
The following table shows that the
number of accidents on trolley cars have
been increasing nearly every year since
1000.