The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1903-02-20

Barber-Hair's gettin' bit thin on
top, sir. Have you tried our hair re-
storer Customer facetiously)-Oh no,
it's not that. It's worry.-Pickme-u cup.
Wigg-As a painter do you think he
will be able to make name for him
self? Wagg-He ought to. You see,
he's a sign er.-Philadelphia Rec.
ord.
Landlord-I will give you just three
days to pay your rent. Artist-All
right; suppose you make it Thanksgiv-
ing. Christmas, and the Fourth of July.
Life.
"What is a synonym asked
teacher please, sir" said a lad, 'its
a word you can use in place of anoth-
er if you don't know how to spell the
other one"
INSTRUMENTATION do you account
for your love of music? Drum Major
Well, when me father was young he
was a furniture mover, and wan day
pianny fell ON him.
"Shure, Orm no partisan, Jerry, OF
III
yez tell which wus tn best man till
afther tn votes ARE counted, Din
ny"-Colorado Springs Gazette.
$50 you had a successful hunting
tripY "Eminently successful. We
didn't bring back any game, but no
body was shot by any of the other
members of the party. "-Washington
Star.
Next scholar, spell recipient said
the teacher. Little Elsie did so. "Now
then, what is 'recipientY" THAT'S
what every bride is, cause the news
papers always says so."-Philadelphia
Press.
Biggs-I understand that you lost
money on that embarrassing expert
ment of yours. BOggs-Yes, 1 did; but
expect to get 1t all back again. I'm
writing a book on how to raise chick
ens.-Judge.
Mae-I got even with Bessie for
snubbing me- Ethel-What did you
do? Mae-I told that young man who
calls on her that she used to be the
New York Sun.
Newitt-The man who can't take a
little good advice has nobody to blame
for his trouble but himself. Sharpe
Oh! l don't know, he's usually bur-
dened with lot of friends who can't
give it-Philadelphia Press.
Blotman-So you have read the
whole of my new story? I'm sure, it's
awfully good of you. Tyner-Not at
all; did II on the advice of my doc
tor. He said l needed violent exer-
else. you know.-Boston Transcript
By the Yonkers Route-"Yes, he
takes a great interest in prison work.
He has been familiar with the inside
of so many of them" Indeed! AS a
criminal?" mot exactly. AS an auto
obilist."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A rural exchange has the following
on perpetual office seeker:
He's left this world of storm and strife;
In spite of all advice
He ran for office all his life,
And only got there twice!
Atlanta Constitution.
He Cbitterly)-You have no heart.
She-What nonsense. He-It's the
truth. You flirt outrageously with
every man you meet. She-Then
must have a very large heart to give
little of it to so many Brooklyn
Eagle.
How does it happen you ran so far
behind your ticket?" they asked him.
Il didn't" said the candidate who had
escaped defeat by the skin of his teeth
THAT is an unfair inference. l got
the straight vote. The rest of the tick
ct simply ran ahead of me-thats all
Chicago Tribune.
Did you say Hiram lost that hun
dred dollars of his in a railway dealY %
yes" answered Mrs. Corntossel, Il
didn't know he was a financier." "He
amt any This deal was In a smokin
car. They started playin' euchre and
then switched off on another game
Washington Star.
Briggs-Tve got a great idea. I'm
going to invent an open street car in
which all the seats are end seats
Griggs- you do it, 1t would be
dead failure. 1t is the squeezed and
sweltering people in the middle who
make the end seats so delightful
Boston Transcript.
Yah, therew angrily exclaimed Say
mold Storey. who had curled himself
up and gone to sleep on the sunny sid,
of an ash barrel in the alley. "Wot v,