Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1903-06-11
O0OOOOCU UoVVCOOOOOOO
DEACON
III A r D Y S
PARROT
BY Cyrus .Slocum
Copmsht, 1902. BY the S. S. Mcclure COaessy
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Of keeping pet parrot than of install.
ing q pig in the parlor, but he wasn't
proof against circumstance. His sister
out in Ohio went and got on her dy.
| ing bed" as he explained il, and he
was sent for to bid her last farewell
| There was only one thing on her mind,
and she proceeded to state it. She had
owned a parrot for many years, and
she wanted to be assured Of its future
| before she closed her eyes. The cat
| which would also be left behind, could
| get along some way, nor did she care
what became of her quilt frames and
| fatirons, but that parrot must find
| home with Christian family.
| The brother checrfully offered HE
refuge and promised to bring Polly up
In the way she should go. When the
funeral was over he started for his
home in the east with the big tin cage
in tow. The parrot had been silent for
week and the deacon's heart had warm
ed toward her. He figured 1t out that
she realized the situation and was doing
a proper amount Of mourning. The
deacon's wife welcomed Polly MS Il relic
of the dear departed and was solicitous
that she should feel perfectly at home,
when something happened, The bird
suddenly found her tongue and cried
out:
"What in blank ais this blank crowd
anyhow
The deacon was hoeing potatoes in
his back yard, and when Aunt Mary
staggered out to him and told him the
awful news he couldn't believe his
senses.
you are little deaf in your right
ear, you know" he finally replied, "and
must have got things mixed up. l
| know that my dear sister Ellen never
taught that bird anything but words
out of the good book. Let us 90 in and
see.''
They entered the kitchen, where Pol
ly was roosting on the back Of chair.
AS they stood before her she cooked
her head and salutcd them with:
"Now | lay me down to sleep"
Didn't tell you so?' said the dea-
con as his troubled look was replaced
by a smile of relief.
81 thought it was swearing, but l
must have been mistaken" reluctantly
admitted Aunt Mary. well, I'm glad
ont 1t would be jest awful to have
a swearing parrot around
Three days later ms Polly sat on a
perch near the gate, Mrs. Simpkins
came along on her way to the store
and stopped to look at her. She had
scarcely come to Il halt when she was
saluted with
"Who in blank are you?"
1t was stunning blow, and Mrs.
Simpkins felt her head swimming
round and round. Before she could re-
cover the bird yelled out
Lets have another beer!'
Then Mrs. Simpkins screamed, and
Deacon Hardy and his wife rushed out
to the gate to see what was the mat
ter. When she repeated Polly's Ian
guage, or as much of it as she dared,
the deacon smiled and replied:
Its another mistake. You never
heard Il parrot talk before, and you
got his words twisted up. My dear
| deceased sister told me over and over
again that he was a religious bird and
that he never said anything but
"Honor thy father and thy mother"
interrupted Polly.
Didn't l say sor' exclaimed the
deacon as he rubbed his hands togeth-
er.
amen! Amen! Amen" screamed
the bird
Mrs. Simpkins had to give it up,
though as she continued on her way
she couldn't help but wonder whether
she was growing deaf or absentmind-
| ed.
Polly had no more surprises that
day, but on the next, as the staid and
disnilied village justice Of the peace
was passing along on the opposite side
OF the street, Il voice cried out to him:
Hello, you old villain. What in
blank ails your"
The justice paused and looked
around. He was alone on the street.
The words could have been addressed
to no one else. He crossed over the
road and saw Polly on her perch.
Just then Deacon Hardy came around
the corner Of the house with a hoe in
his hand
There's such a thing as contempt
OF court" solemnly observed the jus
| tice.
What's the matter?' asked the dea-
| con.
Your parrot has called me names
and used profane language"
But she couldn't have. She knows
nothing but good words. My dear de-
ceased sister spent nearly all her time
for five years in teaching this poor
bird to-
Brethren and sisters, let US all ioin
In the singing" solemnly announced
Polly.
| Any profane language about that?"
asked the deacon over the fence
| IF 1t wasn't her, it was some boy
hidden around here" replied the JUS
tce. Il guess it was a boy. and I'm
sorry laid it to the parrot. | never
thought much of parrots, but I amt
saying that religious parrot amt all
right"
| Polly realized that she had had q
narrow escape, and for the next three