davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23
WOMAN AND Proverbs

WOMAN AND PROVERBS
Tho Arabian declares: Words are
women. deeds are men,"
The Scotch say: Honest men
marry soon wise men never"
In Fife they say: THE next best
thing to NO wife is a good wife"
The Persian sage says that . wo-
mans wisdom is under her heel.
The French adage: "A man of
straw is worth a woman OF gold"
The Persian asserts that women and
dragons are best out Of the world.
A wonderful similarity exists in the
sayings about women current In the
various nations.
Tho German afirms that every
daughter of Eve would rather be beau
hful than good.
The German: There are only two
good women in the world-one dead
and the other can't be found"
An old English saying: "If a man
lose 4 woman and a farthing he VIII
be sorry he lost the farthing."
The German also asserts that whep-
ever there Is mischief brewing G
woman and priest are at the bottom
OF it
The Spanish rhyme has It: Were
. woman rs little - she is good, q
psA would make her hood and .
gown.
The Corsican says: Just as q good
and = bad horse needs the spur, a
good and bad woman both need the
stick"
The Hindoo: "A man is not obeyed
BY his wife In his own house, nor does
she consider him her husband unless
he beats her" Another Hindoo prov
orb says: Drive out 4 woman's ma.
tnre with pitchfork and 1t will re-
turn again and again."-New York
Sun.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23
KING should vl.lt Amerie..

London. May 18.-W. T. Stead's Re-
view of Reviews suggests that King
Edward should break all records and
visit the United States in 1904. Mr..
Stead thinks the st. Louis exposition
would furnish an excellent pretext. IL
any is wanted. The Review Of Re-
views adds:
"If King Edward does not take the
initiative. he may fnd himself fore
stalled by the Kaiser. or. incredible
though II NAV seem even the Car"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23
BEAUTY DoN'rs FOR THE EYES

BEAUTY DoN'Ts FOR THE EYES.
Don't use the eyes before breakfast
Don't read In q reclining attitude, or
in bed.
Don't neglect to battle the eyes &C.
casionally in salt water. A weak So
luton Is best
Don't expose the eyes to q strong
light at any time, such rs sunshine or
gas or lamp light.
Don't have colored shades on the
lamps. Use white or ground glass.
II you must have . colored shade. let
It be green.
Don't sleep opposite . window. or
where u strong light will strike the
eyes on awakening.
Don't work longer than two hours
without closing the eyes and resting
them for i've minutes.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23
Colorado Snow Storms.

Denver. May 1s.1Specials received
from Ouray, Leadvble and Aspen re-
port that snow storms were raging
last night. At ouray it showed all
day yesterday and there was hye
inches Of snow on the ground. /:
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23
Keep Your Eye

Keep Your Eys
On the sunny San Luis valley. for It
Ii going to be winner this year. You
will have full Information from time
to time In these columns.
The Colorado Bureau of ImmiEra.
ton, GIG Majestic Building, Denver.
Colorado,
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23

Hundreds Of dealers say the extra
quantity and superior quality Of De-
fiance Starch il fast taking place of
all other brands. Others say they
cannot sell any other starch.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23

she never kisses mel" Never mind.
Your turn will come In due time. You
know every dog has his day.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23

1T see a Jersey man is complaining be-
cause his wife thought more of the dog
than she did of him." We'll. perhaps
the dog growled less"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23

Naggsby-Did you see the May Pole
dancer Waggsby-Good gracious. no!
Toward the last thought it wobbled a
little. but wasn't 80 drunk as to think
It danced!
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23

The grass widows of the United
States outnumber the grass widowers
almost two to one. This shows thai
few grass widows die Of grief or hu
initiation.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23

Nell-I don't care for fair weather.
friends. Belle-No. I'd rather have
rain heRu.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23

The secret Of the popularity of Bakers
"Bullhead" 6-csnt cigar il revealed In one
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23

will have Defiance Starch. not alone
because they get one-third more for
the same money. but also because Of
superior quality.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23
JoTTINos.

The man with a large family finds IT
hard to hold his own while q process
sion 10 passing.
Some men are born great, some
achieve greatness and some ride in the
carriage with the President.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23

destroyed and the premises occupied
by them thoroughly disinfected.
Judge M. A. Roberts of Ottumwa,
Iowa, has held the Temple amendment,
so-called, to be unconstitutional, de-
claring that its effect is to enable a
person to recover damages twice for
the same injury. The decision was rem
dered in the case of an employee Of the
Burlington railway. Injured In the ser
vice. who, after accepting the benefits
of the Burlington Voluntary Relief
Association, had sued the company for
damages.
The lumbermen and mountaineers
of Cambria, Somerset and Westmore-
land counties Pennsylvania have had
4 terrible time fighting mountain fires.
By almost superhuman efforts of the
Inhabitants, with the aid of the Ore
companies from Altoona and JOHNS
town. the villages and mills at Dunlo.
Vintoindale and Twin Rocks were
saved. On the Laurel hill, In West
moreland county, several houses were
burned and loss OF life was narrowly
averted.
SemiOnicial news has been re-
ceived at Ell Paso that the government
of Mexico will detach the iona Libre
from the different states, making it
part OF the federal district of Mex
leo. The Free Zone" is a strip sixty
miles wide, extending along the Dor
der from California to the Gulf of
Mexico. All state officers in the zone
will be abolished and the territory
governed by mayors and district gov
ernors. The strip will be reduced to
tyeatY miles.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-05-23

inch gas pipe, winch is to be used to
conduct the gas into town and to the
various customers. A contract was al
20 let to sink two additional wells near
the present one.
The Central District Christian En-
deavor convention at Cripple Creek
elected the following officers for the
ensuing year: President, E. H. Liy-
ermore Of Colorado Springs; vice pres
ident, J. H. Ryder Of Victor; treasur-
er. Orno E. Tyler Of Cripple Creek.
The watchword of the meeting was
Denver 49," and a large delegation
is assured for the big national con.
vention in July.
The annual oratorical contest of rep
resentatives Of the high schools of Col
orado. arranged by the University of
Colorado at Boulder. took place May
18th and was won by John Booth OF
the Colorado Springs high school. Har-
ry Howard of Monte Vista won second
received third. The contest was wit
messed by several hundred students of
the different high schools of the state.
Fred A. Miller, treasurer of the
Laramie, Hahn's Peak & Pacific rail-
road, was interviewed relative to the
report that e. H. Hartman has Sc
cured an interest in the road and
would push 1t southwest into Colorado.
Mr.. Miller denied the story in toto.
He said the road is absolutely an in
dependent line, that 1t is being built
by persons independent Of any con-
Germ, that every dollar that has been
put in has been realized from the sale
of stock.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-03-25
CszaeaRa0 &saisEe

Ha fallecido en- el hospital de Santa
Catalina. Brooklyn, la sefiora Ida Pro-
vost, de IS afios de edad, viuda desde
hace cinco. Hace meses contrajo reu-
matismo, y tanto ella como sus cuatro
hijos no contaban con mas recursos 1ue
el sueldo del mayor lie ellos. 81 a la Sc
mana. Eulerados algunos vecinos de
tan af1ictiva situacion, la enviaron al
gin alimento, que ella repartio entire
los nifios, quedandose sin NADIA, pnes
era POGO. El dia 3 Sc aviso la policia
y Ia infe!iz fue llevada al hospital. don
de no cesaba de pensar en- sus criaturss
Murio de inanicion, y su hijo mayor
salio a pedir limosns con que enterrar-
Ia, pero como Ia recoiecta fue escasa
temfase fuera menester enterrar la des-
graciada madre por cuenta del mum
Cipio.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-03-25
Saz1to Domingo

El ministro americana Mr.. Powell
obtuvo otra victoria dip!omatica, logran
do que ell gobierno dominicano revoca-
Sc el decreto alterando los derechos de
puerto, que ocasionaba gran perjuicio
4 los intereses de Ia Inca Clyde. Mr.
Powell no ha cesado de b Ger prcsente
Ia injusticia q Sc cometfa contra les
intereses americanos y de exigir que el
eobierno dominicano cumpliese 6el-
mente sus obIigaciones.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-03-25

Aunuue me la haya contado un poe
ia, teugola por historic y no por cuento,
que cs hombre tan veraz el narrador
oue ha de tenerse por cierto y realmen.
te sucedido cuanto el olga, como 81 tai
poeta no fuera.
10 hunilde de los sujetos entire
u1ienes pasa el suceso no sera motlvo
de excusar en- su relate TN grave y de-
coroso estilo, pues adm 81 Sc tratara de
otra clase de snimales pudiera haber
para clio alguna razon; pero sabido es
nue 4 los gatos abri6es ha tempo las
puertas del Parnaso, 81 es que ALI pue-
de haberlas. tai mano y con pluma tai,
oue todavia, no vuelto de su pasmo el
mundo, esta esperanto las que 4 aque-
las hayan de igualarse.
Si pues Lope no tuvo en- POGO, nj por
indigno de 81 genio, cantar de gatos.
NAL harfa en- tenerlo el que este escribe,
al cual,. no es va que marian algunas
sefiales que sc han visto, pienso 30 que
algo le falta para llegar Lope.
Y digo, viniendo al case, que paso
este en- una ciudad de Levante, aunque
10 mismo hubiera podido ocurrir en- una
del Poniente, ya que en- todas vera ca
da dia ell sol slg1n racionsl que pre-
suma de saber enmendar la plsna la
Naturaleza, a Ia cual tenemos muchos
por averigxado que las dicta todas la
Providencia.
va este contra la necia costumbre de
despojar de parte de sus tiernos mi
chimes, y adn de todos, a Ia michina
que les ha dado ell ser, dando por Sc
guro los que tai hacen que no habia de
poder esta sustentarlos { todos.
Fran las de mi historic dos gataS We
cinas. La ana limpiaba de ratones el
piso segundo, y Ia otra ell tercero Y
quiso Ia suerte que en- ell mismo dia, ,
4 IL misma hora, nacieran de cada una
cuatro y cinco gatitos, respectivamente
A la del segundo piso Ia dejaron un
solo hijo que amamantara, y tiraron los
demas por el Lalcon s por no sc d6nde.
Con la de arriba a1n anduvieron mas
crueles sus amos, pues no la dejaron
hijo ninguno.
Nal que bien, y aunque hubiera de-
seado tenerlos q todos, pues nunca una
matre tuvo hijos de sobra, la gaia de
abajo iba pasan1o su duele, instalada
en- un holgado caion con mullida de
serrfn, y lame que te lamerss. como 81
fuera de dulce, su cato infante. Mas
la de arriba Sc consolaba de aquel su
total despojo, y al siguiente a1a de ha-
Der sido madre y de haber dejado de
serlo (que tan diversos casos es capaz
de colocar en- solo el espacio de una ho-
ra la bsrbarie humana) va andaba por
la casa poniendo ell maullido en- el Gle
10 y buscando por rincoaes y a'acenas
rastros de su cara familia.
Debi6 al fin convencerse de 10 in1til
de sus pesquisas por aquellos lugares,
y, aprovechando hallarse alberta la
puerta de Ia escalera, lanzose a ella sin
dejar de estremecer el aire con aquellas
voces, que, en- su gatuno idioma, de-
bfan ser terribles madiciones y ame-
nazas. Asf lego frene 4 la puerta de
So vecina, y como la hallase franca, por
ella Sc colo lindamente, como va mas
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-03-25
LAS.DOS MADRES.
Historic de Gatos

de una vez habfa hecho, dirigiendose q
la cocina, en- uno de euyss rincones pa
paraba la otra madre, mas feliz aunque
fuera bien desdichaaa.
P1sose esta en- pie en- cuanto vic 4 Ia
intrusa, e instintivamente tom6 Ia acti-
tud de protejer su hijo. Claro esta
que en- Ia gata visitante no cabfa el
error de tomar al pequefio Micifuz por
uno de los que a ella le habfan sido ro-
bados; pero, va porque no pudiese to-
lerar yer nadie dichoso, natural fla
queza de tode desesperado, 6 va porque
su engafada ternura materna necesita-
"a toda costa en- quien usarse, clio es
10 cierto que Sc dirigi6 en- asci6n hostil
hacia el caj6n-cama, deeidida dispu-
tar a su compafiera aquel 1nico tesoro
que la habfan dejado.
De como le defender1a ID verdadera
madre puede juzgar cualquiera, como
de Ia lucha que entire ambas desde
aquel punte y hora quedo entablada.
Atronaban el aire los maullidoS, vola-
ban pelos de ambas contendicntes, ge-
mian las tsblas del csj6n y movfase
todo el de un extreme 4 otro do la es-
tancia, con tai estrepito y baraunda,
que Ia gente toda de la casa hubo de
reunirse a inquirir Ia causa de clio. 7,
solo palos pudieron separar a los fu-
riosos animales y lograr que la gaia re-
tadora huyese hasta su piso.
Los nifos del en- que ocurri6 la des-
communal batalla, dieronse, compadeci-
dos, a mirar por 81 pobre Zapaquilda y
a curarla las heridas, que eran muchas,
y seg1n ellos Sc les alcanzaba, peli-
grosas todas, tanto que bien creyeron
que no tardarfa la infeliz en- sucumbir
vfctima de elias.
En- tai guisa hubo de transcurrir Ia
noche. Quejabase la pobre gaia cada
vez memo; mas no parecfa clio sef1al de
que Sc iban aliviando sus tormentos,
sino mas bien de que Sc le acercaba a
mas andar aquella gran aliviadora do
todo NAL a que comunnente llamamos
muerte. POGO despues de haber anna
nee do viose, sin embargo, al NAL pa
RADIO animal alzarse del caj6n, y toman-
do en- la boca 4 su hijo, con grandes
trabajos ganar la escalera y subir al
donicilio dc Su enemiga.
Reoibiola esta de NAL talante, como
quien Sc dispone continuar la re-
frieg,a de Ia cual apenas habfa ella sa-
cado algunos leveS arafIasos; pero debfa
desarmarla de su furor la actitud dolida
y humilde de aquela madre sin ventu-
ra, que venfa 4 depositar q los pies de
81 rival aquclla prenda en- euya defen-
sa habia aventurado las vida. La in
fe1iz. sintiendo sin duda que Sc 'acerca-
ba SUI fin, habia querido proporcionar a
su hijo tina nueva madre que le ampa-
rara y nutriera.
E hizo bien en- procurarsela con tan
ia diligencia, porque no bieu Ia gaia dc
arriba hubo empezado q lamer amoro-
samente al gatuco como en- SERIAL de
prohijarle, Ia gaia de abajo cayo muer-
ia en- ell mismo dintel del aposento en-
que vino tener desenlace aqael tre-
lnendo y nunca imaginado drama fe-
limo.
ENRIQUE MENENDEZ.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-03-25
Fuera idolatrias

FL Erperador Guillermo ha msuda-
do & II DO icia que prohiba 4 las multi
tubes que sueien agolparse 4 su rasc
part saudarle. agifar los paiiuelcs ,
arrojarle ramrs De fires. con objsio. d.
c. IA crdcn. de evifar &c espsnten Is
cabai'cs dc as car.ozas imperialcs. Er
cump'imieuto del mandate. cuando pa
e el cnShs en- cue vayan el Empsadol
Is Ia Emueratriz. Ia pnlicfa dar1 In or
sea en- wa ara. y ei cue h dcsobedszcl
serx srrrsada
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-03-25
''Voz de Alarma", +,

es Ell titulo de nuestro 1ibrito que des-
cribe esos males. Escriban por el, in.
cluyendo una estampa de &C para pos
tage y reciban 1ista de cuestiones para
TN sistema perfecto de tratamiento de
casa. Miles son curados en- Su casa
per correspondence Consultation Il
bre. Nuestra opinion honesta STEM
pre- dada, y una buena honesta, cuida
doso tratamiento dado q todos los pa
cientes. Cuando nos escriban escrf-
banos en- Ingles 81 es possible. pero 81
no pueden escrfbanos en- Espafiel
Dirfjanse al
DR.. w. H. SAUNDERS.
Dept Englewood Station.
A. 1920. Chicago. Ill. u S.A
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-03-25
HOMBRES. =.
Y MUJERES:
ESTEN FUERTES
vENGAn A N0SOTROS

Nosotros curamos los peores, casos
de nerviosidad, Sangre, Cults, Enfer-
medades Orinarias y Sexual de embos
hombres y mujeres; no importa que
tan langt1ida, pe1igrosa 6 severa. No
experimentos. IS afios de experien-
cia.
HoMBREs JOvENES, eu1pables
de pecados en- su juventud y molesta-
dos con Debilidad Seminal, Debi1idad
Nerviosa, Perdida de Memoria, Desa-
1iento, Aversion a la Sociedad, males
de los Rifiones, Gonorrea, Gotta Mill
tar, Estrechez, Stiles, 8 sualquiera
enfermedad de los Organos Orinarios
pueden hallar una safa y violenta cura.
Curas Garantizadas.
VARICOCELE, ALNORRANASy y
VENAS NUDOSAS de las piernas,
ETC., curadas de una vez. $500 sin
fa1ta.
HOMBRES DE MEDIA EDAD,
Aquf hay miles de ustedes que han
cometido ofensas en- contra la ley de su
natura1eza, y ahora estan pagando por
clio. Esas debilidades, dolores de ra.
badil1a, Perdida de poder Sexual, Fal-
ia 6 Perdida de Vita1idad, Frecuentes
6 Dolorosas Evacuaciones de la Beji-
ga, acompaflado por mas 6 menos ar
dores y escapes de particulas de al
bumen en- la orina con sedimiento,
todo apunta q la decadencia de su
masculinidad. Hay miles que mue-
rem de esta difcultad, ignorantes de
la causa. Los doctores garantiZaran
una cura perfecta en- todos estos casos
una restauraci6n Sa1udable de los
Organos Orinarios.
LOS DOCTORES EMINENTES
de eSta institution han eStado sanando
q los aAigidos por arriba de TN cuarto
de centenar. Ellos son graduates de
los mejores eo1egioS medicales de dos
continentes. Su experienced hs sido
ancha y buscada. Su destreza es fue-
"a de disputa. Su integridad es in
questionable. Su reputation como me-
dicos y cirujanos es arriba de repro
ches.
ELLOS SON LOS ANTAGONIS-
TAS de la enfermedad. LOS ENEMI-
Cos del dolor. GRANDES Y So
BERANOS AMOS de todas cronicas
y OtraS 1nd1SpoS1clOneS, y curan las 81
gu1entes:
Insomnia Hyster1a.
Paralisis Scrofu1a.
Tisis EnfermedadeS del hf-
gado.
Hernia Enfermedad de las TriD
pas.
Seiatica Enfermedad Owaria.
Deformidad Tumores y Crecimien-
tos AbnormaleS.
Disenteria Enfermedad Spinal
Asthma Bronquitis.
Catarro Neuralgia
Dyspepsia Enfermedad del Cora
z6n.
Malaria Reumatismo.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-03-25
Cura de SECURE

es 10 que nsted qu:ere. NOSOTROS
le damos usted una GARANTIA
LEGAL escrita de curarlo 4 uSted 6
devolverle su dinero. $500 por cual-
quier case aceptado y que no Sc pue-
da curar.
The Washington times., 1903-07-04
COURT RECORD.

District Court-JustiGe Anderson-I
re extension OF Sherman Avenue; order
on mandate vacating order of October
z. 1901, and granting costs TO appellants
Equity Court No. 2-Justice Could
Williams VS.. Duncanson: sales as report
ed by trustees finally confirmed. Browa-
Ing VS.. Browning: sale to William W
Nelligan ratified nisi.
Probate Court Justice Anderson-In
re Henry w. Shields ct al; Frances B
Shields appointed guardian bond Il 600.
estate OF Rhuta L Benjamin; sale con
irmed and proof OF publication fled
Estate Of John Fahrenkopf; citation or
dered 10 issue. Estate Of Harold c.
Grant; letters OF administration grant ed
10 Robert Z. Grant. bond 81 900. Estate
OF Henry W. Ball. petition for letters
Of administration filed. Estate of John
Johns: order accepting account as anaL
In re Leonardo Jarrin CT al. account
passed. In re Frances Hurd ct al; rule
10 show cause. In re Marguerite Allen;
account passed 81 re Edith A Davis; do.
In re Clyde L. Wheeler ct al; do. F3-
tate OF William II. Green; order TO sell
furniture. Estate OF William VOLTAGE.
VIII admitted TO probate and letters tes-
tamentary granted to Z. Richard Shipp
bond 800 Estate OF Elizabeth Il.
Beale; order of publication. In re Leon
ardO Jarrin ct al. order to sell bonds
Estate Of Emeline d. Loett: sale rati-
fed aud proof of publication filed. rs
tate OF Mary a. Barren: account passed
The Washington times., 1903-07-04
TRUSTEES SALES.

CHANCERY SALE or TWo-STORY BRICK
HOUSE, No 1885, FIRST STREET SOUTH
EAST, BY AUCTION.
BY virtue Of a decree Of the Supreme Court
Of the District OF Columbia. passed in Equity
Cause No. 1870. the undersigned trustees viii
offer for sale 10y public auction in front Of the
premises. on WEDNESDAY, THE STH DAY OF
JULY, 1893. At 4:So O'CLOCK p. NJ. the fol
lowing described real estate, situate in the city
Of Washington, District II Columbia, 70 wit.
Lots lettered ~ and ''F'' in square num-
bered seven hundred and FIVE COj). together
with all the improvements. rights, etc.
Terms: One-third cash, the balance in two
equal installments in one and two years. with
interest from the day Of sale az six per cent Is
per cent? per annJm, secured by deed % trust
on the property sold, or all cash, az the option
Of the purchaser. deposit Of SlC0 required az
the time Of sale. II the terms % sale are not
complied with IN fifteen DAYS from the day Oi
sale. the trustees the right 20 resell the
property al the risk and cost Of the defaulting
purchaser after Ave days' advertisement oi
such resale in The Washington Times, pub
lished in Washington, ID. C. All conveyancing,
recording, etc, az purchaser cost.
SIDNEY T. THOMAS. Trustee
452 D Street northwest.
JACOB II. LlCHILITER. Trustee,
4l6 Fifth Street northwest.
JAMES W. RADCLIFFE, Auctioneer.
ie26. dSls exSu
The Washington times., 1903-07-04
WHY THE HAM IS so SALTY.

''Wo are having many complaints about
the unusual saltincss OF ham. bacon and
canned goods this summer" said a local
butcher. who does large family trade.
Il suppose IL is the same everywhere
else. Standard goods that we have been
able TO recommend for years are salt A.
brine now. The packing houses tell us
that il Is because they are no longer
permitted 10 use the preseryatives that
got such raking over the Goals after
the Spanish war. They simply must pile
on the salt or their ham and bacon won I
keep. The packers Will be obliged to
find sQSe way out OF the difficulty. or
they VIII have TO go out OF business
altogether. In the trade We are motto
ing the falling of IN orders from hotels
and restaurants. No man wants a rash si'
OF bacon or a slice OF ham for break
fast If 1t is going TO Send him around
with raging thirst all day"
The Washington times., 1903-07-04
Voices From the Past.

Following the rendition Of this paro-
dy. there were a number OF recitations
and addresses actually down on the pro-
gramme- During a lull in the cere-
monies. however. a robust young man
in his shirt sleeves, and armed with a
paper megaphone about six feet Long.
approached the gallery on the sixth
floor and shouted so he could have been
heard two blocks away:
Attention. The following joint let
ter of regret has just been received
from former Superintendents Beavers
and Machen. of the salary and allow
ance and free delivery divisions, respec-
lively:
" To our Late Henehmen In the Postof-
fee Department:
We are with you in this celebration
We have always been for almost any old
kind Of liberty. and are even now fight
ing hard for II. But we are irevocably
opposed TO the liberty of the press.
Yours In exile.
BEAVERS AND MACHEN.'
The members OF the committee on ar
rangements became almost apoplectic
during the reading OF the foregoing.
After the audience OF 1.500 or more
had yelled itself hoarse with delight
over the rapidly growing farce. Auditor
Castle made the address OF the day. Mr.
Castle made scholarly effort and would
have been better received had not the
assemblage been In such a hilarious
mood Mr.. Castle finally got their at
tention. however. and the memorable
departmental Independence celebra-
ton" would probably have closed in
good order. had not the Hon Donatus
ponnelly. who was recently dismissed
from kIs place In the Postofice Depart
ment for organizing q company of mi
litia to march TO the defense OF Ireland
climbed out on the balcony. waved a big
Irish flag over Mr. Castles head. and
In stentOFian tones called for recruits
for the army of the republic OF ireland
With great presence OF mind the male
chorus started up The Star SpangIed
Banner" and the committee OF arrange
ments fed from the building