Evening star., 1903-08-29
WHAT BABY B'AAaB'YY WANTED

The mother of the yelling baby was ex-
tremely young. ), Che tuck seemed to have
only recently be9hf taken out Of her wash
skirt to permit of its falling below her
shoe-tops and her brushed-up back hair
had rebellious appearance, as If it wanted
to get back to It's accustomed schoolgirls
plait. The baby.s- father. too. was scan
dalously young. / IN fact, he looked quite
hang-dog and guilty over 1t.
They were on river boat. The baby had
been yelling when 1t was removed from the
car at the wharf. It had yelled inter-
mittently during the long wait for the boat
to start. It was yelling now and drowning
the malty music Of the five piece band.
when the band was well beyond Alexandra.
The very young mother was plainly up
against 1t. Her inexperience was obvious.
She danced the baby to Banbury town on
alternate knees until she was breathless.
Still the baby howled. She pressed the
baby's head to her perspiring face. and
the baby doubled up its potential fists and
howled louder than ever. She cooed and
rock-a-byed to 1t until she was hoarse,
but the baby kicked at its swaddlings and
continued to "holler murder" as the beery
bandsmen put it. The baby's hopelessly
young father looked more hang-dog and
more guilty and more bored every minute.
But he took no part whatever In the pro-
ceedings. He strayed over to the star
board rail- and pretended to be examining
the Potomac scenery with great intentness.
His face wore a whats the use?" express
sion. His method was plainly to give out
the impression that he had no kinship
whatever to or with the yelling baby. And,
with all of the fond faulty of all very
young frst-time fathers. he clearly imagin-
ed that he was getting away with the pose.
He wasn't, of course. Huddled groups of
women in the neighborhood of the yelling
baby were looking him over resentfully
nd fn &kH, cfar
that they meant for him to hear, well,
tn very idee o. him pretendin' that 1t isn't
his own flesh an blood! TIL idee!"
When all hands seated on the for
ward deck, where the performance was in
progress. began to make suggestions, the
very young mother Of the bawling baby
showed that she was possessed of an open
mind. She received all of the suggestions
But the baby went right on believing.
maybe he wants some popcorn, sug-
gested hatchet-faced spinster who was
recognized as having been a member OF
the last mothers congress.
Perhaps she does,' wearily said the
young mother, with an accentuation of the
''she" that was obviously intended to set
the matter of the 'babys sex right before
the world.
A gummy ball of pinkish popcorn was
hastily procured and handed to the baby.
The baby promptly tossed the sticky sphere
over the side.
Good eye" sardonically remarked the
baby's distressingly youthful father, and
then, looking sheepish over having butted
In even to that extent, he promptly re-
sumed his consideration of old Virginia's
shore. The baby went on bawling.
Mebbe they's q pin a-stickin' in him."
put in a fat woman with palm-leaf fan.
In her, hoarsely corrected the spin
ster, and the fat woman looked abashed
and silly. Half a dozen women Immediate
ly got into circle formation around the
DabY and the mother and all Of the
including the bandsmen, turned their heads
away and blushed. The mother went over
the baby's fixings fore and aft, cat-head to
mizzen staff, fighting top to 'midship bilge.
But no pin was found. The baby went
right on bowling.
A little girl came forward, holding in her
hand something that she had abstracted
pickle just little shy of foot in length.
Maybe she wants pickle" said the lit
tie girl. extending the pickle to the baby's
mother. The very young mother glanced
around quesdoningly. The older women
Gracious sakes alive, don't give ,,nr
that!" they exclaimed all at once, and
then the young mother waved the pickle
aside. g-at
why don't you give her some liver ana
milk and couple Q. dozen deviled crabs:"
sarcastlcally inquired, the young father.
only half turning around. and then Inc
gloomily refxeds his gaze on a taunty little
steam cutter that was loaded down to the
sun'ls with q happy looking crowd OF
young men and sills. The sight Of that
steam cutter planted a .pistful look in his
eye. .:.:.-
Il dess she des' wants t. hear de moosic,
80 she does!" kittenishly interjected an
other fat woman. The band leader heard
the remark, and. anyhow. the band had
been soldering on Its job for quite while.
So the band ploughed into IVY Don't Yo'
Stay in Yo Own Back YahdT with an
effect inexpressibly mournful and depress-
ing. The baby felt the sadness of 1t in
stantly. From the sounding of the first
note 1t took an extra hitch on its vocaliza-
tion and then leaned back and bawled as If
1t were getting two and half a minute
for overtime
"Mebbe," sagely remarked worn-looking
woman, 9Th baby's got tn maleerie. I've
knowed babies t. git maleerie from rid'n'
on boats.'
"or the collie" said another woman.
"Ain't it a sin an shame that tn pore
little things can't up an tell folks what's
tn matter with 'em?"
All of the women got around the cerise-
faced baby and started in to chuck it un-
der the chin and to say "di-di' and "da-
da" and "oopsie-woopsie'' and "mamma's
peshus'' to 1t, which. naturally enough,
only made the baby more 'infuriated than
ever-the little tikes have heap more
sense than they are given credit for.
"Oh, know what She wants." said a real
girly-girly young thing. with a rat-sus-
tanned balloon sptnnaker of pompadour
hair; its these BEADS, and she removed
from around her neck a double strand of
cheap coral beads and handed the orna-
ment to the baby The baby reduced 1t to
junk with its tiny hands in something less
than four seconds, and the young woman
with the pompadour spent the remainder of
the downward cruise in crawling around
among the camp stools trying to reassem-
BILE the remnants Of her neck ornament
Perhaps" suggested a subdued looking.
haggard man, who was himself hanging
onto the hands Of two young ones to keep
them from promptly consigning themselves
to a watery grave by climbing over the
rail, perhaps this part o. tn boat don't
make no kind Of hit with tn young 'un-
might suit her better down on tn lower
deck"
The young mother gathered the still fren-
zidly yawling baby and its traps together
and went below. The baby's sinfully young
father followed at proper distance not
as If he in any wise formed part of the
outfit, but with the disinterested manner
Of a rank outsider who merely desired to be
a spectator and to see the thing through
to finish.
Seated on the port side of the lower deck.
comfortably watching her man eat the
dinner which she had brought to the boat
for him in bucket, was a very black. mid
dle-aged woman, verging on the nanny
stage Of life. Her man was fireman, and
ahe was taking ride on the boat