Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-11-26
Kansas Notes

| Lu6 OcIIlChS.
The sheriff of Platte county got
away with $50 bottles of beer this
week without the aid of cork
screw. :
You wouldn't think it, but the first
flower show held in Kansas this veal
is in progress out in Medicine Lodge.
A man out in Lincoln county was
injured by gasoline which," Local
paper explained, had some explosive
stuff in it."
Instead of denouncing the modern
hymns as "rag-time" and rubbish
Prof. Penny might busy himself writ
Ing some better ones.
All trains are marked 20. T." on the
blackboard at the Emporia depot. II
means ION time" but If the train is
late it also means only trying"
Barton county is complaining of a
freight car famine; but how were the
railroads to know that Barton county
was going to raise five million bushels
of wheat?
Another case for the Seventh Dis.
trict Editorial association to investi'
gate is that of Mr.. Pierce of the Has
kell County Republican, who has
joined the Dowie movement
The state will be glad when the
papers cease referring to Carrie Ma.
ton as "of Kansas" 1t has been al
most year since she was in Kansas,
and he belong to the whole country
now.
Peter Winner, murderer in the COT
fey county Jail, ha offered to devote
the rest of his life working in the
cause of temperance if the Prohibit
tionists will furnish the $4,000 bond
necessary to get him out of prison. 1
G. l.. Edison, student at the Uni
versity OF Kansas, has brought out a
clever volume OF verse, illustrated by
himself 1t is called Ballads of the
Boys of Old X. u" This is one OF
his Love Sonnets of a Chump:"
In homely guise | wooed Irene
had not station, power nor gold
Yet some mad impulse made me bold
To seek the hand of her, my queen;
She had no ear for passions told
In homely guise.
1t wrung my soul with anguish keen
To prove unworthy in her eyes,
For she my wooing did despise,
Because she finds no charm, ween,
In homely guys.
Panic" is the name of new game
which is being advertised in Saiina;
and 1t is supposed to be just what the
Democrats want.
Kansas has law to punish beggars,
but according to the decision of Judge
Flannelly of Oswego it is not unlaw.
full to solicit brides.
Tom Cordry reports that Dell Ira
Wis, the state fish warden, is acting
as wet nurse to the first brood of
fish born in the new state hatchery
In Pratt.
An interpreter was necessary in try
ing the case of John Rocagz against
John Kolmayegicz in Leavenworth
Monday, as the Judge happened to be
an American.
Conundrum from the Sedgwick Pan
tagraph IF it takes mosquito one
hour to crawl through a barrel of
molasses, how many pancakes will it
| foIyn IN chinnln
Mr.. Troutman's charges against
Judge Pollock seem to answer all the
requirements of what is technically
known in Kansas politics as boom
erang," although few look upon it
as a "petard."
Prof. Penny of Washburn college
adds Wonderful Worlds of Life" and
1.-THE Ninety and Nine" to his list of
hymns which are trashy" The lat
ter, he says, is "the poorest thing
ever written
isn't this awful?" said Major Os-
good to Judge Gristlebone as he
handed him the Topeka dispatch dis
closing that the legislative payroll
was stuffed. EYES," answered Girls.
telbone, who is great wag: at is
too pad"
1t is so easy and so inexpensive to
be we'll groomed that Bent Murdoch
thinks there is no excuse for a man
looking shabby. "a wife who loves her
husband" he says in the Eldorado
Republican, will not object to cut
ting his hair every week or two, in.
stead of every two or three months.
Any man can learn to shave himself
A box of blaeking, costing ten cents,
will last months. A chunk of soap,
some hot water and a rag will take
the grease and dirt out of an old suit
of clothes. Most any man can go to
bed an hour sooner, once in ten days,
and have an his wife crease his
pants. A brush and little elbow
grease will take the dust out of ones
clothes. Flowers are thick along the
streets and 1t is mighty slow poke
who can't swipe a buttonhole, when
coming downtown. OF course, II your
wife don't love you, she will kick on
cutting your hair and 'creasing your
pants, but then, If she don't love