davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15

"That pretty grass widow isn't los
ing any time looking for another hus-
band"
"No; she seems to be making hay
while the sun shineS."-Philadel
Bulletin.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15
An Exciting Game.

Dat were very excitin' jackpot
l won las night on a bluff" said Mr.
Erastus Pinllly as he tilted his cigar
and dropped his hat over his eye.
did you raise de opencr?" asked
Mr.. James Colliiower.
"No, sub: | opened razor
Washington Star.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15
How She Knew.

Mr.. Saphead during the honey
moon)-When did my little duckie first
discover that she loved me?
Bride (sweetly)-When found my
self getting mad every time any one
called you fool.-N. y. Weekly.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15
Marrying mt Leisure.

Daughter-Mr. Nicechap has asked
for my hand, and 1 have accepted.
Papa-What nonsense! You are
not old enough to marry.
Daughter-That's the beauty Of it.
I will have plenty Of time to LOOK
around while I'm engaged.-N. Y.
Weekly.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15

Swiggs-Somehow | have failed to
meet with any success in my under
takings.
Briggs-That's easily accounted for.
Swiggs-Wcll. what's the answer?
Briggs s-Too many bars in your way.
Chicago Daily News.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15

Bell Boy-That guest in Al COM
plains that he's freezing.
Night Clerk-Well, carry him up his
bill and he'll think that he's being
roasted.-Judge.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15
The Only ENccptiOn.

She-lt is proper, | believe, for n
woman always to precedc man?
He-Well, in case the man is judge,
and the woman his wife, don't think
it would be proper for her to go be-
fore him.-Yonkers Statesman.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15
Striking Argumcnt.

Judge-Besides his bicycle you also
stole the plaintiffs cycling suit?
Defendant-Well, yes-what could
he do with the suit when he had no
wheel?-Chicago American.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15
Could Testify to the Contrary.

ITS all nonsense, though said
Mr.. Woozle, reluctantly extracting
from his pocketbook the $50 bill his
wife wanted to use in buying news
hat, Its all nonsense, | say, for any
body to speak of tears, idle tears
When you shed them they work ne for
anything you want."-Chicago Tri-
bune
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15

The women of Ainu, North Japan,
admire bearded faces, and they tat
too their own faces, to make them
seem srrouting with whiskers.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15
Value Fixed.

Mrs. Lawson--Fido swallowed a 500
gold piece yesterday.
Mrs. Dawson-What did you do?
Mrs. Lawson-Well, we decided right
away that Fido wasn't worth as much
as $2O.-SOmerville Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15

"Why, Mabel, you've passed two dry
good stores without even looking at
them"
"What of it? I'm not shopping to-
day. I'm going to buy something"
Chicago American.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15
In south America.

rourist-You certainly do have a
great many instructions.
Native-Yes; our instructions are
rs frequent as your strikes; but, for
tunately, not as serious.-Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15

Mrs. DeStyle-My husband is al
ways in for a good time.
Mrs. Gunbusta-Mine is always out
for his.-Smart Set.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15
CnuSe for ANXIETY.

Don't you think we would better
send for the doctor?"
what for?"
"Well, the baby is too well to last
long."--N. Y. Herald.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15
The Melancholy Sens IN =.

There are no leaves on last years trees,
No birds In last years nest.
No girls in last years hammocks and
No coin in last years vest.
Chicago Daily News.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15

Mr.. Newedde-These biscuits are
awful. e,
Mrs. Newedde-Impossible. Why,
the receipt says they are excellent
N. Y. Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15
4 Variation.

One morn when the kin6ling capricious
Had balked In a manner malicious,
Bridget used kerosene
With an air most serene;
AND the breakfast she cooked was del!
c!ous
Washington Star
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1903-01-15
# A,} }'Eb bi1; sI; j,t 8 {'{|jit G'it

Buy postal care: and: send TO the New
York Tribune Farmer, New-Iork City,
for free speciman copy.
The Tribune Farmer is National illus
trated Agricultural Weekly for Farmers
and their families, and stands at the head
of the agricultural press. The price is
$l,Oo per year, but if you like it You can
secure it with your own iaVOIlte local
newspaper, The PosT, Middleburg, at n
bargain. Both papers one year only Sl.5O.
Send your orde" and money to, PosT,
Mideleburg Pa
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
COMING Strikes.
From Sank Rapids Sentinel.

From Sank Rapids Sentinel.
1t is not only the strike upon the
Great Northern Railway System
which is scheduled to occur soon, but
of others, also, that are to occur from
time to time, to accomplish the ends
sought by the high strike authorities,
and by the walking delegates who do
the open work. that we would speak.
To the multitude of common people
who judge by what they see and hear,
it is a cause of wonder and surprise
that an immense body of employees OF
the Great Northern Railway Company
who are being paid all they ask, and
with their families happily located,
and with the most agreeable relations
existing with the company officials,
should permit themselves. to be drawn
or voted into a serious strike over a
question or point that don't amount
to shucks to them; into contest
likely to cost the employees their posi-
tons, and consequently the loss OF
their homes, which they cannot af-
ford, and on the other hand may cost
the company many millions of dollars
which it can afford, because all such
losses or burdens will be figured into
the company's expense account to be
paid by the future shippers on the
line-the ultimate end of all charges,
and in making which payments, the
farmer has the lions share.
But in blissful ignorance of his bur-
densome connection with the exciting
game, very many of the farmers are
constantly sympathizing with the
strikers, mainly because one of the
parties is corporation.
But passing by this threatened
strike upon the Great Northern Com
pany with it's probable bad results
upon the country, it would be well for
the farmers and especially the large
farmers of western Minnesota and the
two Dakotas to understand that in
the epidemic of strikes which is upon
the country, those farmers may be hit
directly as well as Indirectly. AS a
prelude to the game that will interest
them, quite a number of them during
last wheat harvest season were con-
fronted with the walking delegate
among their harvesting crews who
readily exceeded to demanding an ex-
ira dollar or half dollar per day-a
demand there was no resisting. When
SUM VI SoiilZSO SofSi thC
country, and the demands are so ex-
horbitant as to absorb all profit in
the crop, then, the striking business
will not be amusing to farmers nor to
those who depend upon trade with
farmers. 1t makes a difference whose
OK is being gored. AS the epidemic
spreads, the employers of smaller
numbers of men will be threatened
That is not all. When there is adopt
ed a sysctem under which those who
have nothing combine against those
who have excessive wealth, the popu-
larity of the thing spreads, and the
ground between those making the
raid to grab what they have not
earned, and those who are compelled
to resist and fight to keep what they
have earned, will become very narrow
and in short time people of ordi-
nary means may have struggle to
save themselves from organized plum
der. Old-fashioned law will be found
in end safer than the combinations of
today.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
Human Cud Chewers.

Illumination, or cud chewing, in hui
man beings seems to have been known
since 1918, and it is thought that con-
siderably more than 100 cases are now
on record. AGerman physician recent
ly reported three cases in one family
"a father and his two sons. The ia
Their, always rapid eater, began the
act at the age of six and continued it
until death, at so, rumination being
commenced Is or 20 minutes after the
meal and lasting half an hour to an
hour. Food was returned to the mouth
at intervals of three or four minutes,
when it was masticated and reswal-
lowed. The substances had their nat
ural taste, without the acidity they
would have had if digestion had begun,
and meals were only enjoyed during
and after this process. This case was
typical, except that after death the
stomach was found to have very I'M
usual hour-glass form.-Knowledge
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
n0cTnR ENenR supI; SOUTH cARo!,sA.
UUU Un ENOU0 STATE INSTITUTION.
Endorses the Catarrhal Tonic Peru na---
A Congressman Letter

DIR. j. f. Ensor, Postmaster of Column
bia, S. c., late Superintendent and Ply
stefan in charge of State Insane Asylum
at Columbia, S. c.. writes:
CATER using your Peruna myself
for q short period, and my family hav.
ing used and are now using the same
with good results, and upon the In
formation of Others who have been
benefited by it as a cure for cafarrhl
and an inVigOrafing tonic, can cheer
fully recommend 1t to all persons re-
quiring SO effective q remedy. "---Dr
j. F. Ens0r.
Hon. c. W. Butts, ex-Member of Con-
gress from North Dakota, in a letter
from Washington, d. c., says:
"That Peruna is not only vigorous,
as we'll as an effective tonic, but also a
cure of catarrh is beyond controversy.
It is already established by its use by
the thousands who have been benefited
by it. cannot too highly express my
appreciation of it's excellence.-C. w.
Butts.
DIR. R. Robbins, Muskogee, 1. T.,
writes:
"Peruna is the best medicine I know
of for coughs and to strengthen a weak
stomach and to give appetite. Beside
prescribing it for catarrh, / have ordered
it for weak and debilitated people, and
have not had patient but said it helped
him. 1t is an excellent medicine and
it fits so many cases.
81 have large practice, and have a
chance to prescribe your Peruna.
hope you may live long to do good to
the sick and suffering"
Only the weak need tonic. People
are never weak except from some good
cause. One of the obscure causes OF
weakness and the one oftenest over.
looked is catarrh.
Catarrh infames the mucous mem.
brane and causes the blood plasma to
escape through the mucous membrane
in the form of mucous. This discharge
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
NAY REACH FARMERS
The Industrial Agitation Liable to
Affect the Harvest Fields.
The Farmer Powerless and More Helpless
Than Any Other Employer-Strike
on Great Railroad System Like
Great Northern Affects
All Business.

If, perchance, a strike should be or
dered on the Great Northern Railroad,
its influence might be much more far
reaching than is generally supposed.
There is already movement on foot
to inaugurate plan to apply to farm
labor the system of organization
which is now in force among the
trades and other classes of labor.
Heretofore the farmer has been eX-
empt from labor agitation, but if this
railroad strike should permeate the
Northwest it is very likely it's infiu-
ence would extend to the agricultural
districts as well. Hitherto the farmer
has looked on labor agitation with
great complacency, but his own eX-
perience is evidently near at hand.
The farmer, too, is in more helpless
condition than almost any other class
of the community. In the average
strike the man, or company, can tenn
porarily suspend business and resume
it again when 1.-The cruel war is over"
but with the farmer, when his grain
is ready to cut, the work must be
done at once or he loses large per-
centage of his crop, and if long de-
layed loses it entirely. The conse-
quence is when organization reaches
the farm, as it has in the Eastern
states, and demands higher wages and
shorter hours, the farmer will be
powerless and more helpless than any
line of business which has been con-
fronted with a strike.
There is not, in fact, any branch of
business in the Northwest which
would not be materially injured by
strike on a great railroad system
like the Great Northern, and when
the farmer is reached and gathered
into the voracious NAV of labor agita-
ton there will be little left which Or
ganization has not reached-Globe.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15

public that the railways shall be all
lowed to do this. 1t is the obligation
of the company to pay all its en-
ployes fair wage for the service per-
formed. 1t is not the right of the
employee to ask that he shall be paid
for more work than he actually per-
forms, or that the railway shall en-
ploy more men than are actually
needed in the running of trains. The
Great Northern trainmen are funda-
mentally wrong in demanding what
they do. Even if their demands
should be granted, nobody-not even
themselves in the long run-would be
benefited. hat is best for the many
must be best for the individual. Look
ing back over the long record of fu-
tile protest against labor-saving
methods, we find that what at first
looked like calamity to some eventu-
ally proved to be a blessing in dis
guise. Facilitating production has
made work easier, wages higher and
in the long run has helped to make
opportunities for labor. The Great
Northern trainmen should ponder a
long while before they strike against
a principle the soundness of which
has been proved by the record of CEN
turies.-Sioux City Journal.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
He Was Thoroughly Aroused,

condition was recently taken into a
hospital in Melbourne, Australia, and
in order to revive him an electric
shock was administered. The results
were startling and unexpected. A
demoniac energy was instantaneous
ly infused. He sent the doctor
sprawling on the floor and flung a
couple of assistants out of the win
dow. Then he proceeded to wreck
the ward, while nurses ran away
shrieking and barricaded themselves.
He had done $500 worth of damage
before the police arrived.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
A Tight SUueezc.

Brazils, Ark, May llth-To be snatched
from the very brink of the grave is a some
what thrilling experience and one which
Mrs. M. o. Garrett of this place has just
passed through.
Mrs. Garrett suffered with a Cerebro-
Spinal affection, and had been treated by
the best physicians, but without the slight
est improvement.
For the last twelve months two doctors
were in constant attendance, but she only
grew worse and worse, till she could not
walk, and did not have any power to move at
ALL
She was so low that for the greater part
of the time she was perfectly, unconscious
of what was going on about her, and her
heart broken husband and friends were
hourly expecting her death.
The doctors had given up all hope and
no one thought she could possibly live.
In this extremity Mr.. Garrett sent for a
box of Dodd's Kidney Pills. 1t was last
hope, but happily it did not fail
Mrs. Garrett used in all six boxes of the
remedy, and is completely cured. She says:
Il am doing my own work now and feel
as we'll as ever l did. Dodd's Kidney Pills
certainly saved me from death"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
DOUBLE-HEADERS.
The Attitude of the Trainmen Reviewed.

The Attitude of the Trainmen Reviewed.
AS rule, of late, railway employees,
trainmen especially, have been pretty
reasonable in their demands upon the
employing companies. The railways
have been enjoying period of I'M
usual prosperity, and it was not map
propriate that the employees should
ask reasonable increase in wages as
their share of the prosperity. For the
most part, railway managers recog-
nized the justice of the demand, and
wage scales have been raised quite
generally without anything serious in
the way of strike. A strike is now
threatened on the Great Northern
Railway, which was one of the first
roads to grant liberal increase in
wages. The strike is now threatened,
not as result of wage disputes, but
over a matter of economy in the run
ming of train. AS the gravamen of
the dispute has been presented in the
Minneapolis newspapers, the Great
Northern trainmen are wholly wrong
in their contention and should be able
to count on little popular sympathy if
they make the refusal of their de-
mands the pretext for strike.
The dispute is over the use of
'double-headers." A ''double-header, :"
in railway parlance, is train to
which two locomotives are attached.
The Great Northern Company desires
to use two locomotives to pull over
the heavy grades trains which on
more level track need only a single
locomotive. The trainmen contend
that when two locomotives are used
two complete train crews must be en-
ployed, or that the single crew shall
receive double pay for the service.
The company, reasonably enough, it
would seem, argues that it has use for
but a single train crew and has no
desire to employ more men than are
really needed 1t argues, however,
that as the use of the extra engine
requires no extra work on the part
of the crew employed, the company is
not disposed to pay double wages to
that crew.
1t is not difficult to see what the
trainmen have in mind. If they can
prevent the company from using
''double-headers'' the company must
run two trains instead of one to get
the same number of cars over heavy
grade. Thus two train crews instead
of one will be given employment. The
trainmen insist that if the double
header" be used the crew employed
shall be paid double wages, so the
railway may not be able to find any
economy in the use of the double
header
This is clearly a case in which the
labor organization is contending
against the logical economy of things.
1t is the same old protest against
labor-saving methods which has so
often brought organized labor into
disrepute. The trainmen are insist
ing that the railways shall handle
their transportation of freight in a
more expensive way than modern in
genuity has been able to devise. In
so doing, the trainmen are arguing
against the interest of the railway
and that of the public as well. 1t is
the right of the railway to transact
its business on the most economical
methods. 1t is to the interest of the
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
THE SIZE OF AMERICA.
Som ct hing of a Nation, Accord ng to
Travelled Irishman's
Description.

Col. Abraham Gruber is the master of
more Irish jokes, it is said, than any other
man in town: In making speech at re-
New York Mail and Express:
'Micky Finnigan, who had been an
American citizen for about year and had
travelled about this continent considerably,
returned home to Hibernia for visit. This
is the way he described his new country to
one of his relatives:
'Phwy, Amer-r-rica is so big, begorra-
thot if you wor to drag England Through
the shtates you wouldn't lave mark in
the DIRT; an you could lose Oireland in one
o them great inland oceans we how phwat
we call lakes; an if you had Scotland to get
rid of, there are thousand corners you
could hide her in, an nobody could tell
where you had put her except, begorra, for
the bad smell O. the whisky"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15

of mucus is the same as the loss Of
blood. 1t produces weakness.
Peruna stops the catarrh and prevents
the discharge of mucus. This is why
Peruna is called tonic. Peruna does.
not give strength by stimulating the
nervous system little.
1t gives strength by preserving the
mucous membranes against leakage.
1t gives strength by converting the
blood fluids and preventing their drain
ing away in mucous discharges.
Constant splitting, and blowing thes
nose will finally produce extreme weak
ness from the loss of mucus.
If you do not derive prompt and salts
factory results from the use of Peruna,
write at once to DR.. Hartman, giving a.
full statement of your case and he will
be pleased to give you his valuable ad
vice gratis.
Address DIR. Hartman, President of The
Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, Ohio.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
FIND INDIAN BURIAL GROUND.
Laborers at Fort Riley, Kan, Dig Up
Skeletons with Pottery and
Other Relics.

Laborers grading in the vicinity Of
the new gun sheds at Fort Riley,
Kan, have unearthed over a dozen
skeletons, probably of Indians, and
many flint hatchets and spearheads,
oddly-shaped pieces of pottery, and
stones probably used for grinding
corn. The bones of the skeletons
are larger than those of the average
sized man. The relics are thought
to be at least 200 years old. 1t is be-
lieved that the spot was once bury
ing-ground.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
PULPIT AND PEW.

The Rev. II. p. Perkins, of Pao-ting-
flu, reports to the American board Of
ious movement such as has never been
seen before in that field in north
China.
Rev. r. Calvin Dobson, Presbyte-
rian minister of ST. Louis, preached a
sermon in the worlds fair grounds on
Sunday to an audience of workmen,
being the first religious services held
on the exposition grounds.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
RAILROAD NEWS AND GOSSIP,

Two locomotives, the largest in Eu-
rope, have just been turned out at
Basic, Switzerland. The boilers are
twice the ordinary size, give force of
1000 horsepower, and speed of over
IS miles an hour.
Russian experts now declare that
the Manchurian railway traffic is like
~ to be often interrupted because the
builders did not sufficiently allow for
meteorological occurrences such as
typhoons and inundatiops.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
Laundering the Baby's Cloth es.

Many mothers are ignorant of the serious
injury that may result from washing the
clothing of an infant with strong washing
powders and impure soap. For this rea-
SON it should be Numbered at home under
the mothers directions and only Ivory Soap
used To throw the little garments into
the ordinary wash shows great carelessness.
ELEANOR r. PARKER.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
Rut He Didn't.

Briggs dropped in to cheer poor
Jinks up bit yesterday. l told him
that story of yours about Bagsby and
l thought he'd die laughing over it.
Triggs Really?
Eyes, but he didn't. There wasn't
even smile on his face when the end
came."--N. Y. Sun.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
Do You Know

that Texas is State of unexacgerated pos
sibilities? No one can foretell its great
future If you want to know what it is and
what is being done to make it better known
and appreciated, write for copy of book en-.
titled Texas" and pamphlet Timely Top
les No. g." Address Katy" SOP Vain
wright, st. Louis, Mo.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15
One of Many.

Bess--Young Calloboy is an excep-
tionally good talker, isn't he?
Nell-Yes, he's a good talker all right
enough, but he has an impeachment in
bis thoughts Cincinnat Enquirer.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-05-15

Don't Get Footsore! Get Foot-Ease.
A wonderful powder that cures tired, hot,
aching feet and makes new or tight shoes
easy. Ask to-day for Aliens Foot-Ease.
Accept no substitute. Trial package FREE.
Address A. S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.