Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1903-08-22
a BUNCH OF ONIONS
Unique Title of a Club Formed
by Amateur Journalists.
MEMBERSHIP LIMITED TO TEN.

When an "OniOnite" Meets an CON
fOnite" He Is to Take a Bite or
Draw "A Tsar, Says the Clubs Con-
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. of Every Variety
| Members.
Undoubtedly the strongest and
strangest club ever organized is the
one formed in Chicago recently under
IONS" and it is not composed of truck
gardeners either, says the Chicago
| Chronicle.
1t was born under very happy cir
cumstances at a well known down
town restaurant during the annual ma
tional convention of the Amateur Press
association. There are just ten mem
beers i'll the organization and each one
holds an office.
There are seven states represented
in the club and the members are all
| enthusiastic writer's for amateur pub
| LEGATIONS. The object of this unique
organization, as has been announced,
| is to bring tears to the eyes of anna
teur writer's
The membership is limited to ten,
and the only way to resign from the
club is to die or get married. There
is but one meeting each year, and at
that session vacancies are filled. Each
year one of the members must marry
in order TO create a vacancy in the
club
The onion is the favorite flower Of
the organization. The motto is, I'm
onion there is strength" The officers
are as follows:
Chief odor, Louis st. Elmo, Ohio;
sliced onion, Edwin HadIey Smith.
New York: collector of tears, Miss
Maisie Mclaughlin, Illinois; gatherer
of scents, Miss 4. Eunice Frees, ILL
nois; official editor, Miss ]. Irene Ma
loney, Illinois; executive board, soul
lion, Albert Gillespie, Indiana; fertili-
ger, George \. Alderman, North Caro-
lima: sprouts, Foster GilrOy, Pennsyl-
vania; proxy committee or guardians
of the scents, Miss +. Merle Hegert,
| Illinois; Miss Alemdia Thomas, Mis-
souri,.
| The election takes place annually,
and all proxies are thrown out by the
proxy committee. The members of the
club may nominate, second their own
nominations and vote for themselves.
The official organ of the club is to
be called the Onion Skin. The publica-
ton will be in the form of an onion
and printed on onion paper. What is
more, the meetings of the club are to
be called "reonions." The club has one
"onionary" member, and that is
Charles X. Burger OF Colorado. He, it
is said, has brought more tears to the
eyes of amateur writers during the
past year than any other one person.
One "onionary" member is elected each
year. and ''onionary" mention is made
of any member where such mention is
due
One of the strange laws of this
stranger club is that when a member
of the bunch visits town where
in resides another member the visitor
must invite the resident member to
dinner at his or her expense. The an
nual dinners, which are very elaborate
| affairs, must be held on the last night
of the annual convention of the Ma
| tional Amateur Press association, and
members of the bunch only are allowed
to attend. If only one member attends
the convention he must eat his dinner
with the vacant chairs of his comrades
surrounding the table.
The badge of the club is an onion,
and it must be worn conspicuously
during a convention of amateur jour
nalists. The constitution of the club
| is the shortest on record and is as fol-
| lows:
when an onionite meets an onionite
| he is to take bite or draw a tear"
When the chief odor makes a de-
cision it is perfectly in order for any
member to take appeal. The executive
Office is called the onion patch. Mem
bership in the organization is eagerly
sought, and there is already a cam
paign on for the first vacancy.
Carl Hegert of Chicago thinks the
politics in the bunch is "odOriferous,"
and he has started an antionion cru
SADIE. He is also running for the place
of oniOnary member in 1904.
The members announce that the club
is in its salad days. All members are
! asked to become vegetarians and live
as much as possible on the succulent
onion. One of the aims of the society
will be to make fried onions popular,
and onions in every variety will be Gull
tivated in the gardens of the members.
Instead of confetti the members will
use onion seed in time of carnival.
After eating a hearty dinner recently
in which onions figured extensively
one member dreamed the following
bill of fare:
"Onions; young onions; old onions;
onion sets; fried onions; boiled onions;
stewed onions; picked onions; preserv-
ed onions"
This member is trying now to have
this menu adopted as the official bill
| of fare. No member may, upon pain
of a heavy fine, eat anything to re-
move the scent of onions from his or
her breath.