The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26
Patty, the Comforter
Published by special permission OF The Century Co.
Copyright 1905. BY The Century Co.

whether you get through or not, so never
bother any more
The freshmen looked at one another dis.
consolately. IF it's all decided beforehand
we're lost"
Patty smiled reassuringly.
"A little fiunking now and then
VIII happen to the best of men,
But I've heard they send people home.
drop them you know, IL they funk more
than certain amount Is that SOP Lady
Clara inquired in hushed tones.
"Oh. yes" said Patty; "they have to.
I've known some of the brightest girls in
college to be dropped"
Lady Clara groaned. I'm awfully shaky
in geometry, Patty. Do they funk many
girls in that?"
Many" said Patty. 1.-THE mere clerical
labor Of writing out the notes occupies the
department two days"
Us the examination terribly hard?''
81 don't remember much about 1t. It's
been such long time since / was a fresh
man, you see. They picked out the hard
est theorems. I know-things you couldn't
even draw, let alone demonstrate; the
pyramid that's cut in slices, for one-I
don't remember the name-and that
sprawling one that looks like a snail crawl
ing out of its SHE'LL the devils coffin be-
lieve it's called technically And-oh, yes!
they give you originals-frightful originals,
like nothing you've ever had before: and
they put little note at the top of the
page telling you to do them first, and you
get so muddled trying to think fast that
you can't think at all. L know girl who
spent all the two hours trying to think
out an original, and just as she got ready
to write it down the bell rang and she had
to hand in her paper"
And what happened?"
"Oh, she funked. You couldn't really
blame the instructor, you know, for not
reading between the lines, for there weren't
| any lines to read between; but it was sort
of pity, for the girl really knew an awful
lot-but she couldn't express it,
That's just like me-
"Ah, it's like good many people," A
| silence ensued, and the freshmen looked at
one another dejectedly. But you can live,
even if you should funk math," Patty con-
tinued. reassuringly. "Other people have
| done it before you
IF 1t were only geometry-but we're
scared over Latin"
"Oh, Latin. There's no use studying for
that, for you can't possibly read it all over.
and if you just pick out part, it's sure not
to be the same part they pick out The best
| way is to say lamentations the book,
and open it with your eyes blindfolded. and
study the page it opens to; then, in case you
| don't pass-and you probably won't-yOu
| can throw the blame on fate. My freshman
ohav rioh fhaxy Gov
prose composition one of Emersons essays
| to translate into Latin, and we couldn't even
| tell what it meant in English"
| The three looked at one another again.
II couldn't do anything like that
Nor l."
"Nor l."
"Nor any one else" said Patty.
I'VE can funk Latin and math but if we
| funk any more we're gone"
ST believe So" said Patty.
"And I'm awfully shaky in German"
And I in French"
And in Creek
at don't know anything about German"
| said Patty. Never had it myself. But
| remember hearing Priscilla say that the
| printed examination papers didn't come out
in time, and Fraulein Scherin. who writes
| frightful hand. wrote the questions on the
board in German script. and they couldn't
| even read them. In French 1 believe the
| first question was to write out the Marseil-
| laise;' there are seven verses, and no one
had learned them, and the 'Marsellaise
| you know, is a thing that you simply can't
make up on the spur of the moment. AS for
Greek, told you my own experience; 1 am
sure nothing could be worse than that
| The freshmen looked at one another hope
lessly. There's only English and hygiene
and Bible history left
English is something you can't tell any,
thing about" said Patty. They're as
likely as not to ask you to write heroic
poem in iambio pentameters, if you know
what they are. You have to depend on in
spiration; you can't study for it,"
I hope" sighed Lady Clara, ito get
through hygiene and Bible history, though,
as they only count one hour apiece, 1 sup
| pose it isn't much"
| You mustn't be too sanguine," said Pat
| ty. 1T all depends on chance The class
| in hygiene is so big that the professor
hasn't time to read the papers; he just goes
down the list and fiunks every thirteenth
girl. I'm not sure about Bible history but
L think he does the same because know,
freshman year, that made a mistake and
handed in my map of the Holy Lands done
in colored chalk to the hygiene professor.
and my chart of the digestive system to the
Bible professor, and neither of them noticed
1t. They did look good deal alike. but not
so much but what you could tell them
apart. All have to say is that hope none
of you will be number thirteen"
The freshmen stared at one another in
! speeches. horror, and Patty rose well,
goodbye, my children, and, above all
things, don't worry. I'm glad if I've been
able to cheer you up little, for so much
depends on not being nervous Don't be-
lieve any of the silly stories the sophomores
TELL she called back over her shoulder:
! they're just trying TO brighten YOU"