The Saint Paul globe., 1903-12-27

Agitation, we have been told a few
thousand times is much better than stag
nation. Which leads US to believe that the
stage and the drama must be doing very
well. for it is constantly in a state Of
agitation The drama has been constant
ly degenerating from the first production
OF Ralph Royster Doyster," and steadily
improving during the same period. Every
man is his own Judge and his own jury,
but it viii be noticed that things move
along about the same, and that water
continues to seek its level, whether it re-
main clear OF become murky.
A theatrical catechism that takes in
most Of the prevailing complaints against
the theater and answers them with good
natured cynicism was written by Joseph
Van Raalte for the New York Times. 1t
IS worth the reading See if it isn't;
What is a theater?
A theater is place where we pay
speculatOr 81. so to witness an anatomical
display called Musical Comedy"
What is musical comedy?
Musical comedy is a double barreled,
seII-actlnS eongIomerat1on, consisting Of
three intermissiOns with a cafe around
the corner.
Is il nothing else2
Yes; it is the cheapest and at the same
time the most expensive performance
mankind has ever known.
What IS a Broadway attraction
A Broadway attraction is a disjointed
bunch of incongruities that will not an
swer.
Why does a Broadway attraction not
A Broadway attraction does not answer
because no one has questioned it,
What is a critic?
A critic is an individual with one eye
glued to the millennium, who goes about
with fountain pen in his right hand and
q hammer in his left.
What do the critics see in the plays Of
today to object to?
They do not see thing in the plays.
That IS why they object.
Are there no good plays?
Yes, there are good plays.
Where are they?
The Lord only knows.
What do the whereabouts of good plays
remind Us Of?
The whereabouts of good plays remind
Us of what the ITiShman said.
What did the Irishman say?
The IiShman said: ''Plnty av them,
plinty av them, but divil a wan can any
body find"
what is a playwright?
a playwright is a being who existed be-
fore we were born.
Who writes our plays today?
Men and women with creative memo
ries
What is their motto?
Their motto is, Not how well, but
What IS the general impression pro-
duced by their work?
The general impression produced by
their work is that they give more pains
tnan they take.
What IS a manager7
manager is an individual who be-
Heves, with the Bible, that all men are
made OF dust"
Should we Judge a manager by the
company he keeps?
No, because sometimes his COMPANY ia
halfway decent.
Have New York managers tried to ele-
vate the stage?
Yes
With what result?
They have raised the stage to the roo.
md made roof garden of it.
What is press agent?
press agent is modern Ananias who
Is always on the go and who yet lies
still
What is an advertising agent?
An advertising agent is man who
billboard.
What is a ticket speculator?
4 ticket sDeculator is a brothe--in-la
cf the manager.
What do we feel like doing 70 the ticl-et
EpecGiatOr?
We are ashamed to tell
Who is 4 box office man?
a box OtEce man is a man who lxeens
MS temper instead Of getting rid of it.
What IS the difference befyveer G
leading lady and a chorus girl?
1sdy cannot.
Is that the only difference?
No; leading lady gets a salary. while
z chorus girl gets wages
What is an orchestra chair?
An orchestra chair Is q plush-covered
relic Of the inquisition, with a wtra ar.
rangement underneath.
For what is the wire arraneement nm
derneath intended?
It IS put there so that man NAV da.
post MS hat, te allow the girl behind him