Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-09-26


Geraldine-None whatever Pm going
to marry you.-Town Topics
When it comes TO opening up a new
country" remarked the Observer of
Events and Things. there is nothing
can beat 6lcano."-Yonkers States
man.
Jack Lover expecting an outburst of
grief)-And what would you say IL 1
should take your sister from you? Lit
tie Helen quietly and politely)-Thank
you. sir.
Madge-Miss Autumn's name was
printed in the paper, but her age
wasn't mentioned. Marjorle-Of course
not. That girls age is unfit for publ
cation.--Life,
Faith, Mrs. O'Hara. how dye till
thin twins apart?" "Aw, it's aisy-I
sticks my finger in Dinnis' mouth. an
if he bites | know it's Moike "-Har-
ward Lampoon.
Scribbler-Would you call yourself
a poet or simply versifcr? Scrawler
Well, when the editor lights his pipe
with my stuff it's a case of verse afire.
The Bookman.
Gossip proof Mrs. Crawrord-Haye
they much money? Mrs. Crabshaw--
Why, they're SO rich that, IL they pre-
ferred, they could afford TO stay in
town all summer.--Smart Set.
Tommy--Mamma. what made people
In old New York wear those great big
ruffs around their necks2 Mamma
That Is how our first families learned
| to hold up their heads, my son.--Judge.
Further information: Now" said
the teacher, "can you tell me anything
about Hiawatha" Yes" replied little
Henry: tits the tune that made Long
fellow famous. Chicago Record-Her-
aid.
The Friond-And SO you don't trust
your lawyer? The Farmer-No, sir.
He and the lawyer on the other side
are too awfully polite. Don't call each
other no names at all."--Kansas City
Independent
Oracular Reinsurance She--I trust.
Jack, our marriage viii not be againt
your fathers will. Jack--Tm sure, !
hope not; It would be mighty hard
for MS IL he should change it.-Town
and Country
The professional man he needed:
Mike-Are ye much hurted, Pat? Do
We want docthor? Pat--A docthor,
We fule! Afther ben' ruined over be
throlley car? Plat OF want Is
lawyer.-~Judge.
A Lack Of Coincidence: Downer--I
am glad II is good form not TO wear a
watch with dress suit Uppcr-Why2
Downer-Bec l never have had
my watch and my dress suit at the
same time-Pick MeUp.
REORGANIZATION assume such
fierce expression. Look pleasant.
Murphy on your life My wife ls
going to send one Of these pictures TO
her mother, and If | look pleasant
she'll come down OF yisit."-phila-
delphia Record.
rs this Mr.. Lancastcr?' Yes"
IF you have half minute to spare
I'd like to show yOu--" You
needn't. I'll subscribe for II, all right.
You're the first book agent that ever
came here that didn't call me Lark
st'r."-Chicago Tribune
"Of course" said the b0asting colo
mel, there are some who might doubt
my valor at Gettysburg because | did
not lost an arm or a leg" "Oh, don't
Ia
Richard; Il heard papa say you lost
your head, "--PhIladelphIa Record.
Civic Jealousy; Visitor-You haven't
got half as nice cemetery here as we
have in ElmvilIe. Prominent citizen
(of Hawyillel-~N No I've always heard
that the cemetery Is the only part of
your town that holds out any induce
ments for permanent resldents.--Chi-
cage Tribune.
Just throw me half a dozen Of your
biggest trout" said the man with the
costly anglers outfit. Throw themF'
exclaimed the astonished fish dealer.
That's what said" replied the party
Of the first part; then I'll go home and
tell my wife | caught them, ] may be
Il poor fisherman, but I'm no liar
Chicago Daily News.
How savagely that cow looks at
me-" said the typewriter boarder from
the city. II reckon as heow 1t be on
account Nv that air red waist yew'ye
got OF, miss" answered the old farm
er. Dear mer' exclaimed the key
toying maid; "of course it isn't quite
up to date, but I'd no idea country
COW would notice it."--ChicagO Daily
News.
A flial child: A certain nobleman,
well known to society, while one day
stroll!ng round his stables, came across
his coachman's little boy on a seat,
playing with his toys. After talking
to the youngster a short time, he said:
well, my little man, do you know
who / amT' "Ob, yes" replied tho
youngster; you're the man that rides
In my fathers carria gpr'--rrif- RIta