Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1903-05-08
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ferently every time" "Yes, he hasn't
learned his part. rt.'-Yale Record.
$50 you think you need wife?"
Yes" We'll, nothing but marriage
will dispel that illusion!''-Puck.
The bar TO riches: More men would
be rich If money were as hard to spend
as 1t Is TO earn.-Chicago News.
Wife-'I found out something to-day
that l promised never to tell" Hus-
band-"Well, go ahead; I'm listening"
Chicago Daily News.
He-"And now suppose I'll have to
ask your fathers consent?' She-"Not
at all, Just ask mamma. She'll take
care Of apa.'-Judge.
Take example. Customer (at res
tauran0-"Can l see the proprietor?"
Waiter-"Very sorry sir, he's Just
stepped out TO lunch. Judge.
Uncle William, are you troubled
about the hereafter?" "No, sub; it's
de wharfo' er ed herein what keeps
me guessln!'-Atlanta Constitution.
Il think it is silly to pick up pin"
"Oh, | don't know! l know fellow
that makes So a week picking up pins"
Get outP' "Yes; he works In bowl
ing alley"
Arthur would marry that girl but
for one thing" Chester-"Afraid to
pop the question: Arthur-"No.
Afraid to question the pop."-Town
and Country.
"How did your daughter do at the
graduation exercises?" 'Splendidw
declared Mrs. Torque; why, she was
the best dressed girl there!"-Balti-
more Herald.
Bllbson-'I understand that South
American general has resolved to sell
his life dearly" Glibson-"Yes; he
wants ten dollars for the library edi-
ton n'-Judge.
Ping-"Some women novelists have
great power of diction." Pong-''In
their home life I'll bet they show still
greater power of ontradiction!'-Bal-
timore Herald.
First Darkey-"Dats de mos con-
venienest arranged farm eber seem
Second Darkey-"Dat's SO. De chicken
house am located in the watahmilyun
patch."-Judge.
Blonde Brdesmald-"Th ushers
haven't seated your Aunt Maria with
the family" Other Bridesmaid SISTER
to the bride)-"No, she sent only
pickle fork. Life
The Manager-"Bully! Well have
real horses, a real brook, real hens and
geese, and real hay" The Author
And would you mind having real
actors too ?"-Life.
Mother-'Yes Bobby; any man in
this country can be President" Bobby
--"Gosh what lot of Holsters there
are who seem to prefer working for
two dollars a day'-Judge
80 you want my daughter?" growled
the old man. Can you support a fam
ily?' whats the matter?n demanded
the suitor, suspiciously; "are you out
of work ?"-Seattle Sunday Times.
February Il: Mistress-"So you want
me to read this love-letter to you?"
Maid-"If ye PLACE, nam. And I've
brought We some cottonwood We can
stuff in yer ears while ye read itr'-
Punch.
Mrs. Muggins-"Do you attempt to
keep up with the latest fiction?" Mrs.
Buggins-"Well, my husband manages
to spring new excuse on me every
time he stays out late"-Philadelphia
Record.
Il tell you that poet is a genius" "a
genius? Why his stuff is the worst |
ever read" 81 know" But why do
you call him genius?" Because he
succeeds in selling it"-Philadelphia
Record.
Mrs Witherby (at breakfasD--"Ar
you well?" Wtherby-"Yes. Why?"
Mrs. Witherby-"You look changed. l
suppose [ notice 1t more than those
who are with you constantly."-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Jocular Passenger Ito train robber)-
"When you say Hi, therev suppose
you mean you're after a raise?' The
Robber-"Yep, an 1t also means you'd
better watch out, an be burned quick
about it."-Chicago Daily News.
Cassidy-"Shtop kickin' about yer
hard luck, man. Some mornin' yen
wake up an find yersep famous"
Casey-"Faith, on bet ye whin thot
mornin' comes twill be me luck TO
oyerslape meseP. P."-Philadelphia Press.
Father Ito the seven-year-old son be-
side him In this dog-cart, cutting the
whip sharply Though the air)-'See,
Tommy, how l make the horse go faster
without striking him at all" Tommy
Qn an eager tone. of happy discovery
Papa why don't you spank us chill
drau that WAY 3',-Tit-Rits