New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-09-17
LETTERS OF AN OLD MAID.
TO A YOUNG GIRL.

TO A YOUNG GIRL
Dear MadEe. I an glad you were not hurt
annoyed by my lecture friendship No doubt
you VIII profit by q much OF my advice as may
lodge IN your mind uncousciously and affect your
mental attitude IN a general way / believe that
is tie only way that any ever profits by ad-
vice As FOR swallowing advice whole and acting
upon 4 directly, have noticed that the few who
DO this apt regret Il. They never can nd
themselves entirely Of g preconceived notion that
their own ideas are. the whole. better for them
than other peoples, and 50. OF course. when any
thing goes wrong. the adviser gets al the blame
II they are students OF Emerson and given 20 svvaI
lowing his advice whole they perfectly sure
from the that their own ideas are best, what
ever their quality This AZ least saves them from
accepting any advice whatever.
In aware that its very iElprUdent FOR ne 70
write f. this way 20 one much younger than
myself Il Is q total abandonment OF my attitude
as an adviser o. youth. But no doubt you have
learned BY this tine that prudence Is not my most
conspicuous virtue And. IN connection with taking
sdz1c. you Will probably also learn before you're
as old that il is not 50 much what We say
that influences people as what we are Our oraeles
are not those who speak eloGuently. but those
whose characters we trust
an glad you have had such a delightful sum
uer Your saying that there were lots Of men
and that you have made some good friends among
them reminds say that Ike the present at
tituoe OF girls and men toward one another much
better than that OF former days Il seems to ne
that there IS more good conrsdeshiD and less q
what loosely called Irritation 1t seems 50
10 ne: but. then longer behind the scenes;
7 an only q the spectators IN the front row,
near enough TO nod and s-.ne TO the sctors in
youths t-agf-coneties Men and women are al
vavs the same fundamentally. but think the
standard os conpenionship IS higher. Co-education
s partly responsible Tor this: also The better phys
ca ana mental education az girls When was
young girl ny aim was good c0mradeshiD, rather
than the bsntsring superficial so-caIled "flrts-
tious- relations with men which seemed 70 be the
only thing worth having with most q the girls 1
knew. I acknowledge that ny method didn't re
suit IN 80 many love s1airs" OF purely epheu-
e-s1 character. but IN the end Il produced some
lifelong Friendships The heroine o. the hour. IN
ny day was the girl who was reported 10 . en-
gsres 70 six IN different places IT the same
tine Girls pretended 70 censure her. but they
We'd her honestly believe that the clever. honest
robust girl CO to-day has sufficient common sense
20 regard such situation with scorn rather than
envy.
With many % ny early companions rational con
ve-sarfo1 with young men was ruled out The girl
who couldn't hold her own II game OF semi
sentimental repa-tee. side Elances, bushes and
diraplings-ia fact the entire driI % sham love
rnaking-was considered too SLOW 20 be Attrac-
-. A ve-- bright woman told ne only recently
that she had been half afraid 70 marry. because
her one i6ea o. a man. II youth. was that o.
companion II 'air-arion." Serious relations with
man were such g novelty 70 her conception %
things that any man of her own age. though a.
uavs q POSSIBLE lover. had never seemed 70 her
possible husband snc when i came 20 a question
q marriage she looked for some one who was like
a father 70 her" and hxed upon q steacy-golng
Gentleman many years oder than herself
Nothing IL more fatal 70 pleasant relations with
men than 20 look upon every man as a possible
lover And yet Go believe Il is right and natural
.o- gtr 10 wish % be attractive 70 men The
sort q attraction she wishes D exercise s really
the test OF her character. The physical sttrac-
-.c-s q freshness health and Pleasantness are as
pure and natural Tie charm % q Flower And
rhe mental attractions % sympathy and adaptibilty
az equally innocent an6 Desirable
The modern girl makes = great mistake when
- sha-6ors the old idea % ready sympathy as
= ,-sssr,an sable attribute q sweetheart and wife
- - carry her independence 80 far that she
soes-.t believe il adapting herself 70 a mans
Taeds she Will never win The best .oFe, nor even
1850 with TIE world his early ambitions and
- is-e- RESPONSIBILITIES create IN MN VAST REQ
- evupathetic and resttul cou1panloi.shlp me
who tslt wllne TO s1tL-e. 60
$50 -7s~ and Believe that ne = not aszlls
- -.s--h ~ her when he requires these t1llgs
would better give - al eartn.y IeiAtl.ls ". =
ba~ leaving had men out OF the QLeSuln. q 500
- ,E[e--res ard q faulty man needs The sdroit
ADAPTABLE sympathetic an 1l-I-llls II
~'a-e- ard sweet natured woman car s4EPIys a.
- - doesn't 10 SUPPLY X. lei Eer pose a.
hare- and not presume . mourn lcca-er sc
60 rgxeS ~ brother. husband mend % c-sla-l
- -oees--- doesn't change her
-er-irs her own so- VIII ElFe ler dllL-t s+I.-sS
ss s1ltsririrte for personal devotion. and that Is
- Re- .ostsroken reflections ny dear-not bits
81. -s,1re-rhLs time. n not going - eve !o1
.--s--e - How O. Win a Man You Wol-Cn De
fsre fhsf az Ole maid could % that ana oesloes
80 v-i-N,--- the aid o. your loving f1era.
sen N---'-- PRISCILLA