New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-08-28
LETTERS OF AN OLD MAID.
VI.
TO A MAN

Dear Vernon: 1 have come around to YOU again,
though believe you haven't answered my last; no
matter. Why do you wait until you have enough
material stored away TO fill a thick PAD OF copy
paper'? Why don't you send off thought or
two fust as they occur you? There's no use IN
asking I can't induce anybody to adopt my su-
perior method in correspondence The beauty OF
my method is that you never know what's coming
nor what it will be like when II comes. 1 might
even write you short letter some day! If you've
been hoping for that. don't give up. You never can
tell. In that way, al least. / can have tne
satisfaction Of being a problem.
I remember that I wrote you last time about the
immense advantage of being old maid, and
congratulated you upon being one-I mean
bachelor. Of course. ats all the same for con-
era tuatory purposesD I think 1 mentoned-or
if 7 didn't I should have done so-that one of the
rincipaI advantages was superior opportunity Of
observing human nature from unprejudiced
standpoint. I assumed that it conferred a certain
breadth OF view
I'm not so su e o. that however. Breadth OF
view seems TO be acquired in the fashion asserted
by Dogberry IN regard 10 learning-"To read and
write comes by nature" Some of the narrowest
people ever knew had travelled all over the
world and some Of the broadest had scarcely
moved outside of the radius of hundred miles
or So SO much for travel; and perhaps it's the
same with marriage or non-marriage- cNon-mar-
rage is excellent; dom you think SOD l remem-
Der. when very young and terribly clever. hearing
q certain famous historical lecturer speak in pub
lie of 'na-a-rTOw people, with longdrawn, nasal
sheer. 7 forget the connection. The audience
giggled, in sardonic sympathy; and my companion.
a really clever and humorous-minded girl, whispered
10 me Isn't 1t funny? Each separate person in
the audience thinks himself so absolutely broadi'
The remark vas delightfully."- naive. TO me, and so
enlightening. l realized that l, like the
rest, had been mentally patting myself the
head because I not included among the mar
row peopIer'
And that reminds me what a dvertng way
+F,o- hove ?
accusing one another OF precisely the same fault.
I know a woman who frequently tells me I'm
narrow-minded and tell her the same thing. 1t
is because neither OF US ever see the same side
OF the shield at the same time. And there are two
families. connected by marriage, that perpetually
accuse one another of being cold hearted Last
year visited ofthese families. and heard them
say. NO the So-and-so's neglect US; we never see
them You know; they cold-no family af-
fection-it's in the blood!' Next day ] dtned with
the other family. and heard this: My dear they
for nobody! ley natures. every one-been so
for generations'' It's almost enough to make one
broad isn't it, TO what mutual misunderstand-
ing do?
But the funniest instance know is the case OF
two women who have each informed me that the
other IS sngularly devoid of the sense OF humor.
J believe POUNDS her assertion the fact that
the either doesn't bring home tales OF comic in
cidents when she takes her walks abroad: and
other Pounds II her friends inability perceive
her Inconsistencies. I'm inclined side with
pacity to be amused at ones own fo6les and folies
IS the ultimate test OF humor and is highly
conducive 10 fair play.
This leads my rambling and dscursive mind down
another track. ] have found author with
little egotism tnat he write parodies his
own work. Isn't that delightful? He is an Eng
uSh writer. little known. G. Bernard Shaw.
Perhaps you've read him? I think you're worthy
Of it. At the back of of his novels you find
his story done into drama. He says he did IT him
self TO escape the dramatization OF his book by
some one else which would cut him off forever
from presenting the proper dramatic version as he
conceives it. And he did it in blank verse because
so
taken him twice long; The play is perfect
satire the novel finding out It's weak points
q rnerpileSs touch. Il else had per-
formed the tri would have been merely clever
For the author himself 20 do II thing To
make you bag Yourself with delight
Personally. I have been accused OF the Ia Bit OF
seIf-depreciaton. A bright told
dangerous She said Don't you know that people
rake YOU a your valuation II made re-
feet: but Il matter Of fact. am very conceited.
Nevertheless. ! necessarily amused ny my
own oddities that can't help calling my neigh
bOrs laugh with invite YOU to laugh at
this letter Yours until next time.