The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-06-08
THE RETURN or REGULUS, THE
PUMPM4N.


blue waves Of her harbor were rolling and
cleaning in the gorgeous sunlight. An
attentive ear could catch Low murmur
coming from the centre Of the city. which
sounded like the moaning of the wind be-
fore the tempest And well indeed it might
The whole people Of Gotham, joyous, en-
raptured by the news that Reguus had been
returned for Mayor, had poured mighty
tide into the great square before the Hon.
man House.
There were mothers in that crowd whose
SONS were pining in the distant dungeons
of Ossining, sent thither by the dastardly
minions Of Investigation; fathers, whose
fattening jobs had shrunk to nothing; gray
haired men and matrons, whose graft had
gone out into the utter darkness Of an i'm
penetrable past. And with one voice,
shouting and jeering, the vast throng gave
vent to the rage, the hate, the anguish OF
long years.
Calm and unmoved as the asphalt pave
below him stood Regulus, the Pumpman-
He stretched forth his arm over that surg
ing crowd with gesture as imperious as
though he stood at the head of his old brass
buttoned cohorts. Before that silent com
execration died upon the lip, and the ciank
Of the Pumpman's brazen confidence smote
sharp on every ear as he thus addressed
them:
.Youse guys thought them fellers down
In Fourteenth street was goin' to 90 you
out O. your rights, but while old Regulus
il in the game, them stuffs isn't one, two,
three. Down an out is what's the matter
with them an they'll eat sawdust instead o
tettin' fat on murphies. lCheersl They
said couldn't do It, but did, an now ! amt
got no hard feelin's fur 'em, but I'm real
sorry they got to be disappointed. Now,
touohin' on an appertainin' to all them
things what / said TO you before election,
do you think I'm goin' back on my word?
fCries Of mo, No!'l Right. amt no tin
plated reformer. There amt no faint O
that sort on me. I'm a man O the people,
an you an me, we're the people tCheers.l
You all know my platform. Home rule to
run things our own way, municipal owner
ship O. everything on earth, workin' O city
utilities for all they're worth, a liberal form
O. gov'ment, what let's every man make as
much out Of IT as he can. proper oonstruo-
ton on the laws sol they don't cut any ice
az any honest business that puts up the
coin for the push, an no college gentlemans
plug hat monkey business l stood fer
them things afore ] was returned and l
stand fer EN- now. So turn on the steam
an let 'er go
30 sayinR, Regulus pressed an electric
button which was by his side and the era
Of political freedom began All the side
doors fell of their hinges and left not a
screen behind. Ferryboats clanked to
their bridges and landed long professions
Of dignified graybeards, whose eyes we're
moist with 10y at the Homecoming, and
who fastened to dear old Park Row and
seized the telephones with trembling hands.
Trains from the northward brought other
venerable looking men, who fastened to
long -darkened homes near Forty second
street, lit the lights and started the ball
spinning.
The old battered piers along the river
fronts we're Transformed into recreation
resorts. On each one . brass band blared
and a pipe line poured forth inexhaustible
beer. Free excursion boats ran up the
river from each pfer, and barbeouss went
on in every square The police all over the
city urbuttoned their costs and smiled fApt-
urously. Tho Civil Service Commissioners
left town by special train, bound for the
tracklese depths Of the Adirondack forests.
Columbia University abolished Its political
department a. an utter failure, and the va
rious rooms Of the Citizens Union hung out
signs, ITO let for an indefinite period All
the baseball clubs IN the county abandoned
their grounds and started games in the
streets The millennium promised by the
great Regulus had arrived precisely on time,
and a. he proudly surveyed the jocund
scene the Grand United Society Of Graft
Workers assembled before him and sang his
favorite serenade, which was upon his ears
as the honey Of Hymettus on the lips:
erafter's domicile in Gotham now.
pint OF beer some wienerwurst, and thou
Reside talking on thy pump corner
Oh Gotham. this were Paradise enow.