Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-15
ENGAGED BY TELEPHONE.
How q Talkative Lady Engaged
 Maid.

l t How a Talkative Lady Engaged g
 Maid
 ssWhir-r-rl Hello! M-mh Yes, this is Mrs Fitt. I want Miss Helper, please. Distressed Housewives so- ciety? Mo- thanks, I'm distressed, but don't want their society. My owns depressing enough. Oh, this is you, Miss Helper? beg your par don. I didn't know you were secre- tary of so many things Pm after a maid, you see Please hold the string sI mean the wire a minute.
 Yes, I want good maid I don't mean the kind that gets up at , to go to church every morning and doesn't come back till after breakfast time. want one who can manicure we'll and can pack in hurry without forgetting everything one wants, and-what's that? We'll, the last one was French, but she wasn't pretty. Gan she dress DiIlionaires? But they are so rich, Mss Helper Servants lord it over one so. I had housemaid once who continually complained because we didn't have silk sheets. She had lived with Mrs Greene-Jugg. who went on the stage and had silk sheets-a differ ent color for each day in the week.
 Central. don't cut me off. When I have finished will let you know You are a very pert young woman! I didn't mean you. Miss Helper Of course not. was talking to central. Now if girls like that would go into servicewha that? What can be the matter with this wire? Central! Central! want better connection. Whats that? Nothing wrong but my voice or my ear. Why. you are cer- fainly the most impertinent-hello! Hello! Is this you. Miss Helper? Well, I'm glad I didn't lose you alto gether. But what was saying? Oh. yes. Is that maid you have dark or fair? always like my maids dark: being fair myself Can feel safe about my toilet things you under stand .. Yes-ye-es! Whats her name Higgins? I couldn't stand that She'd be called Smith with me aWays call my maids Smith; it saves mental effort on my part, and reduces them all to a comfortable level of impersonality. Very amiable? you say But I hope she hasn't got one of those irritatingly chronic smiles that look as If she caught it in photograph group and never got over 1t.
 Protestant? We'll, I'm sure don't care. She won't be so particular about church in the country as the Irish and them five miles every Sunday, rain or rfaF ard ha nT hard on John, the groom, who drives them, because he is Scotch Presby- terian I sometimes think I'll have to have a chaplain just for the servants a little roly-poly aIbbe, you know, like the ones in Perez's pictures.
 What? Not Zionite I hope! Oh, the Plymouth Brethren? It sounds scarcely well. suppose it must be, but I hope she won't want to intro duce any mysterious rites into my house. Yes, I'm nervous enough already. My friend Mrs Whiteley- Bate once lad maid who was an Esoteric Buddhist and she quite con yerted the cook What? No. I don't s4bject to a bicycle-the Smith before fast used to ride horseback * Oh! &t her own expense-it is charitable to suppose, but one of my nephews took to offering her mounts, and, well, after that ~ x Does she read well? * Y Read well, I said: like to be read to sometimes at night. We'll, per haps it is a doubtful blessing. # But am always careful to lock up anything dangerous that Is, of course anything I don't want Smith to tell the butler. ' :" Bye the bye. does she look ingenious? Assumed innocence is so much more useful than the real thing, particularly in a maid * * 2 Oh, yes! We entertain a fair share though not. of course like the Dill lionaires. who feed the multitude * * Of course allow opportunities for tips: couldn't possibly afford to do oth- erwise
 "Alas! the butler is married, but if she makes this an objection to coming, am prepared to offer Why!- that's more than I usually give %* Yes, We are in town all the winter + < What! Really, M'r~ Helper. I go there myself. I couldn't possibly all low &*% Oh! the brothers an in strucfor We'll some of them are quite wonder which he is? Ihope Aot-- Oh. what am I saying?