Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-17


 sl1h, and it is needless to say that I escaped without a scratch. while the honorable went down with a bullet in his shoulder. could have put it through his head just as well, but I had point to gain.
 taThe news of the duel had scarcely been buzzed about before dozen SO Ions came to me and anxiously in quired after the health ofsmy swamp owls. They preferred swamp owls to duels. just as I had reasoned they would. I had got good start-naade a good beginning, suh, but I had not gone far enough. One newspaper in particular had radiculeu nie beyond the limit. even to publishing cartoon in which was represented as a swamp owl roasting on limb among my kind. Next day after my little affair with the honorable made a call on the edi- tor Of the paper. He said he was very busy and could only give me a mo- ment.
 1" sSuh,' I said as stood before him. fdo understand that yo' are pro fessional orn'thologistY
 MsYo' do not he replied
 Have yo' made q special study of the swamp owl?'
 4 No, suh. don't think ever saw half dozen of them in my life
 Then let me tell yo' something about the bird, sdh. It may astonish yo' to hear that under certain circum- stances he can see on the brightest day. If he has dueling pistol in his claw he can see a target ten paces off and most always put a bullet into it.
 "SCan this be Colonel Runker?' he asked, after drawing a long breath.
 1t not only can be. sllh, but 1t is, and shall be only too happy to go out with yo' and point out the fact that the swamp owl is not as blind as yo' have been led to believe
 ssWhen he realized what was there for he came down gracefully grace fully and without any beating around the bush to see if swamp owls were blind in the daytime. The next issue of his paper contained a double leaded editorial eommendatory of my bill. and he did his very best to push it to sue cess. My work was not over yet, how CFSIs ICIC WAS q CElIAlOIt HUH swamp district who took issue with me. He had a chronic earache, and the hooting of the swamp owls was one of the unpleasant. things he had to endure. He was agin 'em, srlh--he was agin lem first and last and all the time, He conbated my statistics at once and with great fervor. When assert ed that every swamp owl in oTr state devoured 5.000,00o pestiferous insects per year, to say nothing of rats, mice, rnoIes and snakes, he boldly claimed that the bird merely sat around and booted and huttered his tail and was too lazy to provide his own grub.
 q had somehow got the idea, suh- got the idea firmly fixed in my mind that the swamp owl was a second edi- ton of the American eagle on a re- duced scale, and I argued in favor of his chivalry and his patriotism. My argument was good, suh-couldn't have heen better-but the swamp district member brought forward facts to show my bird was only cross between a crow and buzzard and that he didn't know the American flag from a dish cloth. On the first reading of my bill I argued that his notes were as melo- dious as the nightingale and more so than the whippoorwill. drew word picture of peace in the land and fin fshed it off with swamp owl sitting on an olive branch and uttering his nlelodious thrills. It was a beautiful thing, suh--some mething worthy of the great Shakespeare hinself--but it wouldn't do. The swamp district mem Der cited case after case where the boot of the bird had driven peace from the neighborhood and caused people of sound minds to commit suicide. There was only one thing left for me to do, suh, and did it. My bill hung in the balance. must either suppress the swamp district member or see all my work go for nothing. therefore walked in on. him one mawn- ing and said:
 'Suh, I feel it a duty owe to the swamp owls of this state to suppress yo'.'
 How do you propose to do it?, he asked.
 By calling yo' out, suh,' "sLead the way, Colonel Bunker, and will follow
 file had expected the thing and was ready for it, and it did me good to see 1 the way he toed the mark. We had seconds and a few spectators, and, while his bullet pinked me in the arm, my bullet perforated his right lung, as meant it to do. A man with only one lung has no chance in a swamp owl de bate, and may inform you that my bill, relieved from his opposition, passed and became law. and if had lost my prestige, which may have been the case. it was. gloriously restored again. gloriousIy restored in full measure.'' M QUAD.
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