davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18
Paine's Celery
Compound
Cures
DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION,
AND STOMACH TROUBLES.

The tortures and evils of dyspepsia and
indigestion are experienced by thousands at
this time. The dyspeptic's train OF evils
may be enumerated as follows: feelings OF
dizziness, languor, nervousness, sleeplessness,
headache, disiension of the. stomach, loss of
flesh, difficult breathing, and the action of the
heart is seriously affected.
All forms of dyspepsia are quickly banished
by the use of Painc's Celery Compound.
The use of this marvellous medicine allays the
Inflammation Of the nerves centred about the
stomach; it opens up the sewers Of the body
and removes all waste matter; it cleanses the
blood; it makes new nerve fibre; it restores
digestive power, and promotes bodily strength
and activity. Mr.. Fred. Ross, Clarendon,
Iowa, briefly writes about his happy expert
ence with Paine's Celery Compound as
folows:-
at gives me great pleasure to testify TO the
merits of PaineS Celery Compound | can
candidly and honestly say it is the best medi-
cine in the world. Two years ago was suf-
ferng from indigestion and nervousness, and
was so run down that | could hardly walk
without help. used two bottles Of Paine's
Celery Compound and got better almost from
the first dose, and have had no use for medi-
cine since. was completely cured"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18

Pullman Sleeping Cars from Clifton
Forge to Cincinnati, Louisville and st
louis,
Trains Arrive at Lexington;
IL 40 p. m. daily except Sunday from
Clifton Forge.
6 % p. m. daily from Richmond and
Lyncnbuig
For rat4s tickets and other infornsa
ton apply to S. o. CAMPBELL, City
Ticket Agent, Lexington. Va.
II. ". FULLER, g. p. Agent.
c. +. DOYLE. General Manager.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18
Beluted Kindness,

Mr. Smith lin street car)-Madam.
take my seat.
Mrs. Jones (who has been standing
fifteen minutes)-No. thanks. get off
at the next corner.
Mr. Smith-Thats all right. So do l.
Chicago Journal
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18
CUTICURA PILLS
For Cooling and Cleansing
the Blood and Skin
In Gases Of Itching, Burning,
ScaIy Hunours,
And for RenoVating and En-
riching the Blood.
The Best and Most Economical
YET Compounded.

Cuticura Resolvent Pills Chocolate
coated) are the product Of twenty-five
years. practical laboratory experience
il the preparation of remedies for the
treatment of humours of the skin, scalp
and blood, with loss of hair, and are
confidently believed to be superior to
all other Alternatives as we'll as liquid
blood purifiers, however expensive,
while enabling all to enjoy the curative
properties of precious medicinal agents
without consuming needless expenses
and often injurious portions of alcohol
ii which such medicines have hereto
fore been preserved.
Cuticura Pills are Alternative, antisep-
tic, tonic and digestive, and beyond
question the purest, sweetest, most sue
cessful and economical blood and skin
purifiers, hum0ur cures and tOnic-diges-
tives yet compounded. Medium adult
dose, one pill.
Complete external and internal treat
ment for every humour may now be
had for one dollar, consisting of Cuti-
cura Soap, to cleanse the skin, Cuticura
Ointment, to heal the skin, and Cuti-
cura iesolyent Pills, to cool and cleanse
the blood. A single set, costing but
one dollar, is often sufficient to cure the
most torturing, disfguring skin, scalp
and blood humours, eczemas, rashes,
itchings and irritations, with loss of
hair, from infancy to age, when ply
'ic''ns and all other remedies fail.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18

.ir,dcI = t..c Inevitp Bile.
I. 1T: SO you have titled son-ln-
Law | suppose you consider him a
high honor.
Tribbler--W Well. yes. he did come rath-
or high, but Carrie seemed sort of set
upon buying him.-Boston Transcript.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18

Fond Mother-My son, did not your
father forbid you learning to smoker
Young America--No. ma. When l
asked him IL l might smoke. he said,
mot muchr'
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18
Hypocrisy becomes necessity fol
those who live srandalously. DE FinOd


barbering Used to he an Art.
Time was when barbering was way
up art. In ancient times BARRIERS were
surgeons, the only persons who could
scientifically "let blood" In London
there Is still barber surgeon class.
They possess II cup given the guild by
Charles ii. Around the BARRIERS pole
still twines the snake, the subtlest
beast Of the field, survival of the bra
zen serpent lifted up in the wilderness.
the symbol Of the healing art.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18

He (whO has offended her)-Won'i
you look up at me?
She-I ] did. you'd kiss me again.
He-No: honest. | won't.
She--Then what's the use?-Life.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18

InQuiring Young Man-When q per.
son says something nice about another,
why Is he said to "pay" a compliment?
Crusty Old Man-Because be expects
to get something Cor Il
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18
A Reminder,

Dearborn-Whath have you got that
string tied about your finger for?
Wabash-Oh. I've been getting mar.
>ried and my wife doesn't want me to
forget it--Boston Herald.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18

10th. PA acres near Oak Dale. Good
buildings. Fine saw timber. A No |
bearing orchard OF apples and peaches.
In one OF the best agricultural sections OF
Rock bridge. Price 90. 900, one-half cash.
The spen lid home Of the late William
A. Ruff near Lexington, Va, Is for sale.
| will offer at private sale this very
desirable property containing about 13
acres situated near the corporate limits
OF the town and within 10 minutes walk to
the Washington and Lee University and
V. NJ. |. Ii has dwelling house in good
condition with 5rooms including dining
room and kitchen, with nice porches,
beautiful and attractive yard adorned
with shade trees and shrubbery, has an
orchard OF probably 80 large apple
trees, bearing, and OF the best variety OF
fruit. Has stable for 6 hores and stable
for cows, granary. corn crib, Ice house,
slaughter house, chicken house, etc. Has
cattle scales that can be bought separately
II desired has nice stream OF water run
ming through the pasture lot and two
springs Of water on the premises. Price
reasonable Terms: one third cash,
balance In one, two and three years, with
interest from day OF sale.
Parties desiring to purchase this
property will call and examine II at once.
1t will be sold to close up the Estate.
Correspondence solicited.
JAMES G. DIXON,
Apr 10 1902 Real EstateAgent.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18
Harmless, Speedy, Sure

Mrs. D. Hawkins, Middletown, Ind. O.,
writes
"After our child was given up to die
from agonizing pains, we were advised to
use Victor Infants Relief. We did so
and in two weeks our frail. deathly sick
baby looked like another child-was cheer
full and growing fat and strong.
Mrs. J. F. Creeger, Tomstown, Pa, says
During housekeeping experience OF
20 years we have found nothing so effect
i've upon all the ills of babyhood as Vic
tor Infants Relief 1t gives parents aud
baby rest, sleep, priceless health, and
saves Doctor fees".
LIST OF VICTOR REMEDIES.
Victor Liver Syrup. Csc and slOO
" Infants Relief 2js
" Lung Syrup, % and Soc
Pain Balm p and Soc.
Liniment Is and SOC
Liver Pills, DC per box.
Headache Specific, loo.
" Poultry Powders, loc.
" Horse and Cattle Powders, 2Oc.
For further information address
VICTOR REMEDIES COMPANY,
Frederick. Maryland.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18

DAILY except Sunday.
For rates, tickets, baggage checked,
apply to any office Of the B. & O. Rail.
road or to Z. Dudrow, Travelling Pass.
enger Agent, Harper Ferry, W. Va.
T. Z. JARRETT Agent,
Lexington, Va.
c. W. BASSETT. G. PA.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18
= WHAT ABOUT YOUR
Job Printing ?

\re you perfectly satisfied with the
Letter Heads, Bill Heads Cards,
Enve'o rs and Dodgers you have been
getting? II not, we want to help you
w" have an expert need man in this
apartment We have new and up-to-
late type, and we think we can give the
very best service at low prices. Good
Printing is good investment. poor work
always dear at any price. II you are
needing any printing, consult us.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18
G. & o. Route.
Schedule In Effect Oct 3, 1902
For Lynchburg and Richmond.

No. 80 connects at Lynchburg with
Southern Railway North and South.
No. SO connects at Balcony Falls with
No. 8 for Clifton Forge and the West.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-03-18

Train SO connects with Southern II.
Ra. Strasburg Junction for Harrisonburg
and points on Valley Railroad.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-02
PlCKINGS FROM FICTION.

Prisons nre the infernos civilization
builds In which TO hide its mistakes
The Under Dog"
It's plumb foolshhess 20 try TO lay
down rules for other folks TO live by.
The Substitute"
A mans faith In himself Is often the
ehlef cause of II womans faith In him
Hound Anvil Rock"
A woman who has discarded n man
is perhaps nearer loving him just aft
crward than ever before, Gordon
Keith"
Those whom we most resemble IRE
the very ones who nro most annoyed
to see themselves reproduced. Ills
Daughter First
There IL n gravity Of words. they de
seeud and never climb; they must, like
II stone, come tumbling from above tn
do IN injury Peggy O'Nenl"
The sin and SORROW of dcspotism Is
not that II docs not love men. but that
| IT loves them too much and trusts
! them too little. Robert browning"
No woman of SENSE objects to her
| husbands simple admiration of an
other woman. but when II comes to
another woman being II fuctor In his
life and thoughts II wife must and
should resent IT. "Dcspotism and
Democracy"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-02
OnlcInl nnnk nurninrh.

The last authorized book burning In
Great Britain was In 1879, when THE
Commercial Restraint of Ireland Con
sidered," by the Hon. Hely Hutchinson.
was given to the flames.
The war against books began under
Henry VIII, when books We're burned
by both religious parties. All copies Of
Tyndale's Bible that could be bought up
were publicly burned at st. Paul's on
Shrove Tuesday. 1927. and n general de.
struction by fire of unlicensed books
was ordered three years later by the
king. In 1885 the star chamber claimed
the power of licensing and Selling
books, and It's scrutiny was AS rgor-
Gus as that Of the inqulsitlon.
In 1907 DIR. Cowclls Law Diction-
AIRY" was burned by order Of the house
of commons for Its assertion of divine
right In favor of James l.. and The
Kings Book of Sports" met with sim
liar fate Mt the hands of the Puritans
In 1904.
About century later DE Foes "Short-
est Way With the Dissenters" was
burned by parliament, and in l763
Wilkes North Briton" was subject to
the same wanton intolerance. which In
some cases defeated its own object.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-02

A very rich man once bought news
paper. 1t was an afternoon newspa-
per, aud he was interested In II for a
month or two. One of his ideas was
the publication of noon edition that
should contain more news than the
noon editions of his competitors. He
thought hard ON this problem and
finally decided II would be great
stroke to print the decisions of the
United States supreme court at II
o'clock each Monday when the court
WINS In. session.
This plan was complicated somewhat
by the fact that the supreme court does
not meet until noon. However the
editor was equal to the emergency He
telegraphcd to his Washington CORE
spondent, "See the supreme court ut
once and have them meet nj II O'Clock
No we can get the decisions In our noon
edition. Saturday Evening Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-02
Ideals of nenuty,

Famous men and famous judges of
beauty have differed very greatly in
their idea of what constitutes IT,
Byron liked glossy hair clustering
around II white, smooth brow; dell
cately arched eyebrows and glowing
cheeks frequently sulfuscd with
bushes.
Spenser very explicitly described his
style of loneliness. II consisted In
eyes like snpphires, teeth like pearls, Il
forehead Ike ivory, hair Hike gold and
hands Of sllvcry Wilderness"
Shakcspcnrc's beauties always pos.
sessed very white and alnbastcrlke
skin.
SCOTS hcroines were generally soft
eyed and penslyc, with sweeping eye
lashes and high intellectual forchcads.
Ben Jonson preferred Il fncc charac-
tcrlzed by simplicity of expression,
flowing hair and n sweet neglect"
Cowper placed very high value on
checks Of danask
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-02
Applied DIctinnnryitIs.

Mrs. MiXitt. whose husband recently
achieved wealth, and ms Il result bought
200 feet of books for his library, found
much to interest her in the volumes.
Especially was she taken with the die.
tonary, the study of which she found
to be Il great help to her In convcrsng
with the cultured people whom she
met at different plnccs.
Some friends called one evening to
bid the MiXitts farewell before the lat
ter left for their European tour.
"Now." said one of the friends
"whcn you go to climb those noun
tnlns you be sue that you have n good
guide"
1--WE Will" suid Mrs MlXltt II
wrote TO the landlords Of all the hotels
where we will stop and told them &c
retain MS the services Of their best
Psychologists Judge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-02
A SCOUTS HARD LIFE.
Some OF the Hnrdships and Dangers
That Must he Faced

An unfortunate, says Leslic's Month
", was sent with a dispatch TO one OF
the smaller outposts In the far north
Vest 1t was toward spring, when the
midday sun thaws the surface OF the
snow and the light frosts harden the
melted crusts to glace OF Ice rs daz-
glingly bright as the binding flashes of
sunlight from polished steel The thaw
had crustcd over the trail and the
scout had to keep sharp eye on the
way not to lose the path altogether,
Suddenly the midday sun developed ex-
traordinary hucs, Magenta, purple and
bluck patches began to dance on the
SHOW, alternately with wheels aud
rockets of cheese colored fire. Then the
light went out altogether, though the
man knew that 1t was broad day. He
had become snow blind Tho only thing
was TO give his horse the bit
The horse stood stock still ny that
time he knew that he had lost the trail
altogether or the hroncho would have
followed any visible path. He wheeled
the horse about. 1t still refused to go
on. and then the man inferred TINT tho
crust OF Ice had been SO hard that the
horse could not follow back tho way
II had come. That night the trooper
slept under saddle blankets. with the
faithful horse standing seutry
For five days the trooper WANDER
ed blindly over the prairlos losing oil
count of time, eating snow to queneh
his thirst and sleeping In the holes that
the broncho had paved through the
ice crust to the under grass. The troop
er was now too weak to mount and
keep the saddle. As n last hope the
thought struck him that If he unsad
died his horse and turned It loose II
might find It's way back TO the fort,
and SO notify his friends that he was
lost He did this. but the faithful crea-
ture refused TO leave the man lying on
the snow and stood over him in spite
Of all his efforts TO drive II off. On the
sixth day the mail carrier found the
pair, The trooper WIS severely frozen,
but the rider nnd horse lived to see
many another days service.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-02
rang the bell, and PorkIn again APP

rang the bell, and Pnrtln again APP
peared.
MIR, Blunt tells me you play the vIo-
lin, Parkin," said. please ask Viii
liam TO bring his cello and let us hear
trio
YES, sir" answered rnrkin. as plac-
idly as If l had ordered whisky and
soda
lie returned almost immediately,
bringing his violin William followed
him. Apparently disturbed in the act
OF backing boots his hands and arms
bore unmistakable signs of his employ
ment, this evidence being ckcd out by
Il large black smear down one side of
his nose. He carried his violoncello in
one hand and his bow In the other.
You did not tell me you played the
ccllo.' l said to William. Il want
you to show this gentleman how three
Americans can play this trio of Sine
tana. Do you think you can manage
III"
l handed him the music which | had
taken from the bookcase He laid
N'N IL iliN bbN ulld luiiNh Ills AAHu
on his trousers before turning over the
leaves with gingcrly thumb and fore
finger,
1t looks rather stin, but I'll have Il
so ut 1t, sir"
The technical difficulties Of this ro-
mantle work of Smctana ARE extreme,
even when they nre familiar, but to
render the composition at sight with
the freedom and abandon which Il de
mands might fairly be deemed impos-
slblc. Nevertheless on this occasion
the nstoundcd professor heard n per
Torrance wherein the complete mas
terry of the several Instruments WAS
surpassed by the unanlmity and poetry
of the rendering.
Trepanowsli declared he had never
heard such an ensemble. His admira.
tlon was so frank and general that
began to have seruples of conscience.
1t was too late 10 20 back, however.
pressed him TO play. He declined pc.
litcly, but firmly.
dismissed the performers with
thanks for the exercise of their skill
the professor adding many Compli-
ments both ineligible and otherwise.
When we found ourselves alone IRE.
panowsld remained silent
1T Is mcrvcllleux!' he calculated n!
length What then ARE your public
artists litef'
You have heard D'Eugen2" | In.
qulred In turn.
'Jn, IN. He Is maEnihduc,"
We'll, he left America. Why did he
leave Englnnd2 You shall answer tn
question for yourself"
lie gave another shrug
Il shall think; shall write 10 YOU.
one thousand time thanks"
| Insisted on seeing him Ia the sta
ton. On the way lie was wrapped In n
gloomy silence. only when we arrived
on the platform did he recover little.
A harsh voiced porter was calling out
the various stopping places OF the in
coming train. The professor touched
him on the shoulder.
MY friend, what instrument do you
blayf" he asked sadly.
ih' p'i'i iooh'u ut hliil III SuipilSe
"Chicago express" he said from sheer
habit and passed on
| parted from the professor with
mingled feelings. | had begun TO like
him. When | returned home | found
my three friends, II s, r II and
7 W IAN intelligent public will fill
the blanks) engaged on II Beethoven
trio
| heard from Trcpnnowskl in due
time, but his letter WIS dated from 20
land. He had decided not to try his
fortune In America.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-02
HIS SECOND THOUGHT.
The stage Driver Acted on II and
Saved His Passengers.

Saved His Passengers.
Back In the good old days when
nerves and railroads were little known
an old stage road ran from Lake
Chamelain to Ogdensburg, n. " pass,
ing through the little town Of Sodom.'
This village nestled in valley be-
tween two great hills over which the
white ribbon of the road wound steep
ly
Upon one of the trips of the stage the
regular driver, who had been at homo
for some weeks recovering from an III
ness, was riding inside, while the red
haired, mild featured, big boned Irish
man acting as his substitute occupied
the drivers seat upon the box. The day
was beautiful one. and the passen.
gers were enjoying their drive keeplys
their appetltes increasing as the dis
tancc lessened between them and tho
town of Sodom, with its promised
pause for Refreshments
Suddenly rs the heavy stage lum-
bered over the brow of the hill, down
which the road plunged at sharp an
glc, running through the little town at
its foot and ascending the hill beyond
the passengers became conscious that
their pace had been recklessly sin.
creased. Faster and faster they went,
dashinG down the hf'l Mt rate rapidly
becoming n furious one. Trees and
bushes at last became but dizzying
blur along the road All chung to the.
reeiing stage and held their breath In
terror, while on the stage raced, down
the hill with ever increasing speed. into.
the town, past the hostelry with the
waiting host left standing In amaze at
the door, past the post office without
pause. and out upon the road lead.
Ing UP the face 2f1the hill beyond
There the pace sldtkened, anf as the,
incline grew more steep at last the.
smoking horses came to standstill.'
With one accord the dazed passengers,
tumbled out and surrounded the driver
who now stood Mt the head of his
reeking leaders
they get awny from your came the
breathlcss questions.
Nope" replied Pnt with set face
ut wor that" pointing grimly before
him. There lay the stage tongue drag.
glng uselessly on the ground at the
heels of the horses and completely sew
cred from the coaeh. At glance the
regular driver comprehended the mean
Ing OF the danger to which the passen-
gers Of that stage. deprived OF its sole
means of guidance, Ind been exposed,
md realizing the miracle of their es-
cape, he turned sick and tainted where
| he stood.
Later, back Mt the Inn, when the ex-
element Ind somewhat subsidized and
fresh horses were being put to the re-
paired coach, some one turned to Pat
and asked
Pat. what WIS your first thought
| when the pole droppcdf'
well, sor," he answered, settling the
quid more comfortably In his cheek,
INC furst Thought wor, Lord ha' mcr-
cy ON our sowlsp Thin thinks 10
meself 'Confound horse that can't
outrun wagonr and licked the poor
bastes all the way down the hlllr'-
Lippincott's.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-02

Agnes and Ethel nre the kind Of
twins 1t IL difficult for intimntcs Of the
family to distinguish apart. They are
four years old and II source of despair
TO mere HCqunlntnnces
A friend of the fnmily met one Of the
twins on The street the other dry and
asked
Now, which nre YOU Agnes or
l1thclf | simply cant tell you apart"
I'm Agnes" gurgicd the smnll
maiden, md then she put ono of her
chubby little fingers la her mouth and
ihumblcd: You can tell me easy. I'm
the one with the loose tooth" New
York Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-02
ncnihe IIcracIf.

Tho fair young thing was telling
about how happy she was when she
saw her brothers baseball team win
the intercollegiate game. "Oh," she CUR
gled. Il was so delighted that just
Rugged myself for JOY"
Here the grave professor of psychol-
ogy looked up with an air OF interest
Rugged yourselfT he asked. "In'
deed, you must have been quite beside
yourself 10 have done that" Judge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-02

In Russia many Of the peasnntry still
bury their dead In grottocs and caves,
just ns their princes and noble men
were accustomed to do centuries ngo.
In ConstnntInople MS In other Turkish
cities. bodies are placed in the ground
as soon NJ the Inst SPARK OF life has
fled. The Mussuman believes that rs
long as the body IS unburied the spirit
Is IN torment and that II is crime
akin TO murder to modest n grave. Ac-
cordingly, the cemeteries around many
oriental cities far exceed In extent the
ahOdea Of the living.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-09-02

The playwright turned pale with cx-
element and n sudden rush of pride
as he heard from his position In the
wings the sound OF stamping feet and
roaring voices.
"They are calling for the author" he
cried feverlshly. what shall | do?
Must | make speechP
The manager, who had not only
heard but seen the audience, took him
by the elbow.
1.-THE best thing you can do" he whis-
pered, "is to slip out Of the stage door
and escape while there's time"