Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-04-25
.eainst n. .cause. and I HOMIE care what

against IL, cause, and I don't care what
you say, it's a come down.
II wan you to write me a sketch.
I've got II all I'm my head. only / can't
write IL. It's a musical team u for
two people. You can get just as much
money Tor a sketch for two people in
vaudeville as you can get for four. The
sketch must be written to give me n
partner a chance to do our s~pecialties.
SO 1t will " to be something like
this:
TN a stranded actress. see? And
I'm stopping at a swell hotel pretending
to be an heiress. But the hotel people
are getting wise and they've cut off
the gas. I'm up against 1t for fair,
when 1 picks up a paper and reads an
advertisement that says q rich man
wants a musical wife. Then my mes
Is: L answered this advertisement yes
terday; 1t Is strange he has not comet
This is the cue for the old guy, who
knocks at the door. Now they've cut
me out of the hotel. see? And the gas
Is off. But they can't lose me q min
ute, and just as the old guy knocks at
the door I'm doing light housekeeping
with an oil stove, n I've got a string
tied from me bed to the gas Jet, and
I'm drying me stockings on II.
"Of course, when the old guy butts in,
1 pretend I'm the heiress' maid, and
NAAoN pa 80 SNN "a AACA
Tn singing some shine sons when
the guy comes in and he says:
Heavens! What q voice!' and l hurry
over and turn up the folding bed
which is a piano when it's turned up,
and the guy asks me If l can sing.
Nov, you know, I'm musical. l was
always musical. None of my people
was-I don't enc where l get 1t. Me
father was the city weighmaster in AL
toona. Pa, and when I'd be running up
and down the scales he'd get that mad!
We'll, as 1 was saying, the guy sits
down to q piano n strikes q note that
is all to the bad; men lie opens the
piano and takes out a chunk of ice and
n half dozen bottles of beer. This bit is
always good for q laugh.
Then he plays rag n l do a SONG
and puck wing. Then ] skip off, and he
holds the interest with a head spin OF
a glass eating actor, you see. his is
an eccentric bit-and finally 1 com
back with my glad rags on, oh, scenery
regardless! and he thinks l am the
heiress hat swe the advertise
rnent. I'm frozen custard-sweet bu'
cold--for a minute, and then set up &
scream because the maid isn't arount
to take off me automobile cloak. The
guy does that and hen kisses me hanC
and asks me to marry him.
I'VE ave q patter here about get
ting married and / want bright lines
= that is, i want to get all the fat, am
the other guy, for It's my sketch, and
pay him a salary, see? He is only m,
. feeder, after all. But. of course, l wan
4 = good mugger and musician. becaus
. a cheap turkey actor would queer tn
D act.
sc I want the best OF the lines am
> situations all the way through, and tn
curtain speech, too. Don't forget thai
"Of course, If 1 get a clever partner
u I'll let his name on the bills in smalle
> type, out all the way through I'm I
e be /. tit.
Then, as / was saying, we sing
duet, Then When We're Married HOY
Happy Wen Be- and 1 turn cartwheel
, while he does n back fall off the piano
!, to close the sketch.
What do you think"