Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-24
MY REVOLUTION
BY w. L. ALDEN.
1901. BY W. l. ALDEN.

tenstein, sighed as he put down his
glass of whisky and soda. He was
usually In excellent spirits, and as
knew that the whisky was particularly
good l wondered at his apparent mel
ancholy.
81 was thinking" said he, "of the
days when l was American minister to
the Central American republics. Our
government used to bunch all the five
republics together and send one minis
ter to the lot of them. l was young in
those days and thought Central Amer-
ca was mighty rough place. | enjoy
ed ii heap more than l ever did any
Of these European courts.
ut was a big thing to be ambassador
to Lichtenstein and to have a hand in
the political pie of pretty near every
nation IN Europe, but l never enjoyed
It as enjoyed my first mission to Gen.
trail America. liked the place so much
that l staid th~re ID years, which was
what you might call breaking the rec
ord.
you know, l suppose, that our gov
eminent whenever a new administra-
ton comes in turns out all the foreign
ambassadors and ministers and puts in
q lot of new men. L ought to have
been turned out after being In office
four years, but knew that l couldn't
be recalled except by a notification to
that effect from Washington, and
took good care that no such notification
could reach me.
when my four years were pretty
7 - -
tour of the five republics and to report
on their general condition. The Cen
trail American postoffice arrangements
were very bad, and l calculated that
could always keep ahead of any dis
patch recalling me that the Washing
ton folks might send.
"For four years l kept moving from
enc place to another and never once in
that whole time did a single blessed
dispatch or letter from the United
States ever catch up with me-
THE government sent out three sue
cessive special messengers With orders
to hunt me up and notify me that
was recalled, but none Of the messen-
gers were ever able to come up with
me. One OF them did get within
dar Of where l happened to
IAN to think that the game
luckily he died OF fever be
to;e he could do any harm.
when the four years were ended.
my own political party came into pow
er again, and the new president hap
pened to be an old friend OF mine. So
he kept me i'm office another four years,
and about the end OF that time l re-
signed Of my own accord.
THE president OF Zarguela was as
good fellew as you need to meet. pro-
vided OF course that he didn't feel any
call to shoot you. lie and | were as
thick as thieves.
THE other ministers were a pretty
swell lot, especially the Europeans
They used to come to the palace
dressed up in gorgeous uniforms. and
at first they looked down on me be-
cause ] used to wear blue flannel
shirt and trousers and nothing else ex.
cept boots and a necktie. just adopt
ed the flannel shirts and trousers for
comfort and gave out that they were
the regulation uniform for a United
States minister.
''The president, who was a rough SOL
der who had risen from the ranks.
liked my free and easy style. and be-
fore had been In office a month | had
more influence with him than the
whole diplomatic gang PUT together. |
taught him to play poker. taking care
that the balance OF winnings should al
ways be on his side, and l used to
spend the greater part of my evenings
In his private room. with nobody pres
ent but just we two and bottle of
genuine old Kentucky whisky that
imported for diplomatic purposes.
This president, Don villar Villar.
had been in office five years when
made his acquaintance. That was
something very unusual in Central
America, where a president is general
ly turned out or assassinated within
two years after he goes into office. This
particular president. however, had shot
so many of his opponents the day after
his Inauguration that there was nobody
who was in a position to raise revo-
luton against him. Then, again, he
had governed the country so remarka.
bly, well that he was everlastingly pop
ular.
"One night the president seemed to
be in curiously low spirits, and after a
bit got him to tell me what was the
matter
IN tell you the whole story said
ne, for | know you will sympathiZe
with me. | have been president now
going on FIVE years. and there is pref.
ty near 100000 in the treasury. Now.
1t has always been the practice for
the president to be turned out by a
revolution just as soon as the treasury
got full enough to make it worth while
for him to carry 1t off to Paris and live
like Christian Here am /, with
$3OO.OOO in my possession and no pos.
sible way of getting out of the presi-
dency and leaving this beastly country
for gooG and all
Do you really mean to say said |.
Nl,aA