Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-01-06

" hae ~ tuc UtSL pVNuSA ANk va =
oies?' asked the woman -Gunpow-
ller!' absently replied the druggist.
who had been up all night with his
own.
Won't you try the chicken salad.
Judge" sad the boarding house keep
er. Il tried it yesterday. naa'am." re-
piled the witty judge, and the chicken
proved an alibi. '-Philadelphia Record
First Decorator Il advised him TO
have his house decorated during his
wife's absence rs surprise. Second
Decorator--Good. Then we'll have to
do it all over again when she gets
back.
Yes, higgins is going 10 send his
daughter slcross the water for her
voice" Thinks it will be cultivated in
Europe?' ''No; he's got an ide;r that
maybe she'll lose it on the way Bal
timore News
Il see by lthe newspapers. remarS-
cd Reeder, that the miners in the,
Rand are sending out appeals for
wives" rs that 500" calculated Hen
nypeck, in an wager whisper. ''They
can have mine"
He-oh, pray, Miss Dalrimple. don't
call me Mr.. Brooxes. Shc-Oh, but
our acquaintance has been so brief.
tSweetlyl Why shouldn't | cssll you AIe.
Brookes? lTe-Oh, only because my
names Somerset!
First Chappic--I wonder now. Chol-
lie, how the donkey ever came to be
used as the--eer, emblem of stupidity?
Second Chappie with a yawn)-Don't
know, I'm sure, deah boy: must have
been before our day.
Young Man dining at his club
Don't you think, James, that these
lonely dinners at the club drive nuin-
Der of men 10 matrimony? Waiter
Ma. be, sir; but not so many MS mat
rimony drives to the club.
Just fancy, Weginald; I've forgot
zen ma cahrd case" 'Nevah mind.
deah boy; III lend you some of mine"
'But-ah-the name would be differ
ent, You know Bah love, so 1t
would! What head you have, Aigyr'
John" whispered Mrs. Stub. in the
wee hours, there is a burglar down
stairs, and / want you to 80 down"
Well, l guess not, responded her hus-
band, turning over for another nap;
I'D have you know that don't assO.
ciate with burglars
Mrs. Housekeep--I don't know much
about the new girl, but she's good
natured and harmless, at any rate.
Mr.. Housekcep did you find that
out? Mrs. Housekeep--I notice that
she sings at her work Mr.. Housekeep
That's no proof; a mosquito does
that.
Cholly--I neyah see such a queer
girl. While / was calling there the
othah evening she made me pet her
pug dog and asked me if DIDN'T want
to kiss the beast. Miss Pepprey The
idea! Perhaps she doesn't know that
Press.
Mrs. Bizzy--I am so sorry to hear
that your wife has been throwing the
crockery at you again, Casey. Where
did she hit you? Casey-Faith Ma-am!
That's what Oh do be afther complains
in ay. Twas whole set nv dishes
broke to pieces an she niver hit me
wanst-Bro0klyn Life.
Now" said the Sunday school
teacher, in her most winning tones.
which little boy can tell us about the
still small voice that is within us?"
"Please'm,' said the frecllcd boy at
the end of the seat. my uncle has
zone" HAS he?" "Yes'm He's a
Iyentriloquist,r -Baltimor American
|, Cholly proudly BY love! I'm quite
professor Of swimming, don't you
know. taught Mabel Galley how tc
swim in two lessons. Jaek--Gad! That
was n quick throw-down. Cholly Gin
'dignantly)- What do you mean? Jack
Why, she let me give her ten lessons
before she Iearned--Broolslyn Life.
Towne-AIy wife used to get nervous
every time she heard noise down
stairs, but assured her that it coud
not be burglars, because they're al
ways careful not to make any noise.
Browne--SO that Gained her, eh?
Towne-Not much. Now She gets ner-
vous every time she doesn't hear any
noise.
Hell never saw anything like this
tide. Here I've been pulling steadily
for ten minutes. and we don't seem
to have moved a foot. She (after
pause)-Oh, Mr.. Stroker, I've just
thought of something. The anchor fell
overheard a short time ago and 1 for
got to tell yon. Do you suppose II
could have caught on something?
"say, pa" began little Willie again.
"whv--" "Now, see here" his pa
interrupted, Il told you / wouldn't ar
swer any more questions. Let this be
the last now. What is it, II Just
wanted to know, pa, why You don't
answer niy questions. Is 1t 'cause
you're ignorant, or jest cause yer IN
digestion's come Philadelphia
Press.
what we've you doing at the time
of your arrest" asked the magistrate
of the prisoner. II was waiting"
waiting for whom "Just waiting"
What were you waiting for?' TO
get my money" who from| The
man / was waiting for" What did he
give It to you for?" "For waiting. II
don't know what you mean. Explain
yourself" II thought you knew l was
a waiter in d restaurant" "Oh!' grsp-
I'D the Observation-Disclosures Herald.
No Footprints.
'.Don't you want TO leave footprints
on the sands If timer asked the earn
est man.
Footprints" echoed Senator sor-
-. ~. dr..,t 20 70 4r. erl. u. rr..r,,h