davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
He Went Away Satisfied.

An old-woolly-headed darkey appear
ed at the dispensary OF one OF the hos
pitfalls the other morning.
"Well, uncle, what is it," inquired
the Young medico in charge OF the dis
pensary. q.
"Ah've got de mishuy pow'ful bad,
boss" said the aged darkey. -.
"Where have you got the misery!
inquired the young doctor. =.
"Ah dun got it evuhywheah," replied
the ancient colored man.
"Well," inquired the doctor, what do
you think ails your"
"Ah think" solemnly answered the
old black, dat Alive dun got some
thin de mattuh wifi NAH vermlfuge de-
pendix." 81, ,,...
"What makes you think that that's
your trouble?" inquired the doctor,
smothering the chuckle that rose up in
his throat.
"Well, subj All had de nose bleed
pow'ful bad las night an All hain't no
ap'tite tall TO watuhmillyons dis yeah:
"Well, it's your vermifuge dependiX,;
that's bothering you all right, uncle,
said the young doctor, but Ill nix you
out quick enough. Take one of these
before each meal" 49,,
He handed the old darby a little boz;
of bread pills, and the old woolly-hea!d
departed with broad grin of happl-
ness, no less because he had got free
medicine than because his own dag
nosis of his case had been so promptly
accented.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
MAYOR SCHMITZ'S APT REPLY
How City's Chief Executive Got Rid
of a Bore,

OF q bOTCs
Mayor Schmitz of San Francisco
tells Of an untiring politician who de
manded a position. To escape him
and kindred men the mayor hied him
self to the suburbs. And in the sub
urbs the applicant halted the mayor.
The politician placed his cane behind
him and rested on it as a seat. Better
opportunity had never been presented
for arguing his just claim. His fidget
ing caused the cane to move slightly.
eyes, sir" said the office seeker 81
am entitled to a position in the city's
service and am looking fer an open
ing"
is there any kind Of work to which
you are adapted?" asked tho mayor.
The man took courage from the
question and said that any kind Of an
opening would suit.
BY this time the mans unsteadiness
had brought the cane, which was bear.
ing his weight, precariously near q
knot hole. The mayor thought. In
expectancy the applicant shifted his
position. The next instant he was
endeavoriHg to follow his cane through
a hole in the board walk.
There" said the mayor, Every
much relieved, "is an opening for you
Try and fill it.; if you don't succeed,
see the board of public works. Dos
ton Post. -
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
INDUSTRIAL AND SCIENTIFIC NOTES.

An atom of matter is probably q
crystal of electricity.
Japanese and Germans have the same
average brain weight.
The total commerce OF Abysslna is
about So, 100000 year.
National banknotes are one-sixth o.
The money in circulation. :,
In Boston there are one and hall
electric lightS for each person.
New Orleans and Galveston now ex-
port more wheat than New York,
The birth-ratc in Berlin declined
from 46 per 1000 in 1876 to II in 1902
The banking capital Of New York
City has been doubled within five
The convicts in the Ohio penitentiary
now number 1856, against $500 in hard
times. -,
Seven hundred automobiles, worth
$4,000, 900, are licensed in the State o.
New York.
Nearly one-third of the 3sI, 900 inhab
itants of Cleveland, Ohio, were born If
Europe.
The United States ranks sixteenth
as a wine producing country. Our an
nual output is but flitleth part that O.
France. ...... ......~.---
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
.ost In the Grass.

There is surely no country hall a
world away in which the Occidental
traveller expects so much delight and
so little danger as in Japan. Yet Mr.
Ernest Foxwell has recently related a
tale of terrible adventure experienced
in Japan by all Englishwoman but a
few DAYS after her arrival. She was
STAYING at a little country village among
the hills and had gone out in the morn
ing to gather flowers. The path ran
across the uplands, where there is
wild and lonely stretch of country ex-
tending for several miles, and the
beauty of some wild flowers growing
in the tall grass led her to leave the
trail unthinkingly and press farther and
farther into the waving tangle. She
was a short woman, and it reached
above her head.
IF l had been foot taller" she
said, in telling her story, 1 should have
laughed and been out in minute or
two: but those few inches buried me
alive Almost instantly l felt sick, as
you do at the beginning of an earth
quake, for, although | must have been
quite near the path, yet with the grass
all round above my head, there was
no knowing what would happen. |
might be going right away at that very
moment, and the possibilities came like
a shock. | believe l lost my head at
orce. | could not think, so kept
moving first one way, then another.
But pushing through this tall, tough
grass is very firing work, even If you
are on sloping ground, and can judge
where YOU will come out; and when 1t
is level all round the heart is taken out
of you from the feeling that every step
is probably burying you deeper. 1t was
like being drowned" 1t was not until
sunset, after whole day in the blaz-
ing sun, without food or water, con-
stantly wandering, constantly pushing
and tearing at stems so stiff and ser
rated that they quickly make the hands
bleed, that she walked suddenly out
on to open ground and fell faintlng i'll
a heap. When she recovered the stars
were shining and she was alone on an
unknown mountain side. She slept
from exhaustion and the next day iol-
lowed winding mountain tolleHl ONCi
rocky land. her shoes and her stock
ings worn from her feet, only to find at
shutdown that it had led her to a mar
row gorge without one inch OF loot
hold or shore. The stream dashed
through in torrent that hopelessly
barred the way. Light-headed with ter
ror, hunger and WEAKNESS, she crouch
ed for time in despair. Then, actual
ed by a sudden within or instinct, she
waded into the stream and stood until
after dawn waist-deep in water, while a
rain storm pelted upon her from above.
She believed that by the rush and stint"
OF the water her reason and strength
we're preserved The next day she re-
traced her weary way along the water
course back to the heights; thence, fix
ing anew the point to which she must
direct her steps, she made her way back
TO civilization.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
In His Element.

A clergyman who was travelling stop
ped at hotel much frcquented by
wags and jokers.
The host, not being used to having a
clergyman at his table, looked at him
with surprise; the guests used all their
raillery of wit upon him without elicit
ing a remark.
The clergyman ate his dinner quietly,
apparently without observing the gibes
and sneers of his neighbors.
One of them at last, in despair of his
forbcarance, said to him: "Well, | won
der at your patience. Have you not
heard all that has been said to your
ooh, yes, but am used to it. Do
you know who | ann"
"No, sir"
"Well, I will inform you. am chap
lain OF a lunatic asylum; such remarks
have no effect upon me-"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

by localapplications as they cannot roachths
diseased portion of the ear. There IS only one
wav TO cure deafness, and that is by constl-
tutional remedies. Deafness is caused by an
infamed condition OF the mucous lining OF
fine Eustachian Tube. When this tube Is In
famed you have rumbling sound orimper,,
feet hearing, and when it is entirely closed
Deafness is the result, and unless the inflam-
nation can be taken out and this tube re-,
stored to its normal condition. hearing. Will
be DESTROYED forever. Nine cases out OF ten
are caused by catarrh, whichis nothing but an
infiamed condition Of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness (causedby catarrh) that can
not be cured by Halls Catarra cure; SEM i 70
circulars free. F. J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, 0.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are tho best.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
B. B. B. SENT FREE.
Cures Blood and Skin Diseases, Cancers,
Itching Humors, Bone Pains.

Botanic Blood Balm (B. B. b. cures
Pimples, scabby, scaly, itching Eczema,
Ulcers, Eating Sores, Scrofula, Blood Poi
son, Bone Pains, Sweliings, Rheumatism,
Cancer. Especially advised for chronic
cases that doctors, patent medicines and
Hot Springs fail to cure or help. Strength
ems weak kidneys. Druggists, 81 per large
bottle. TO prove it cures B. 3. B. sent
free by writing BLOOD BALM Co., SO Balm
Bldg, Atlanta, Ga. Describe trouble and
free medical advice sent in sealed letter
Medicine sent at once, prepaid. All VIC
ask is that you will speak good word fol
B. B. B. when cured.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

It's the people who
doubt and becom Q
cured while they doubt
who praise DOan's Pills
the highest.
Aching backs are eased.
Hip, back, and loin pains
overcome. Swelling of the
limbs and dropsy signs
vanish.
They correct urine with
brick-dust sediment, high
colored, pain in passing,
dribbling, frequency, bed
wetting. Doan's Kidney
Pills remove calculi and
gravel. Relieve heart pal
citation, sleeplessness,
headache, nervousness,
dizziness.
TAYLoRvILLE, Miss
tried everything for a weak
back and got no relief until
fused Doan's Pills"
J. n. LEWIS,
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
The Nearest Pattern.

An elderly lady entered a draper
shop and asked to be shown some table
cloths. The assistant brought pile
and showed them to her, but she salt
she had seen those elsewhere.
Haven't you something new" sht
asked
The assistant then brought another
pile and showed them to her.
These are the newest pattern" HI
said. You will notice the edge rum
right round the border and the cen
tire is in the middle" =.
Then l will take half-a-dozen," sal(
the lady.-Tit-Bit
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
American History.
catarrh.

Washington had just issued orders
for the army to winter at Valley Forge.
But" insisted the soldiers, the ad-
vertisements say we should go to the
Bermudas or California" >,
Confronted by new perplexity, it
took all of the great generals dlplo-
macy to appease the rebellious troops.
Jefferson was expounding the doc
trine of simplicity.
But" he was asked, "why did you
ride horse at all? Why didn't you
walk"
That" replied the Father of Dem
ocracy, would have created the impress
sion that / owned an automobile"
Realizing the mans great wisdom,
they decided he should have a second
term
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
Live Stock.

Chicago.-Cattlc-Good to prime
steers $5.5o06.Io; poor to medium
S3oo65.25; stockers and feeders $2.4c
H42o; cows and heifers $I.4oQ5. 90;
Gamers $1.4o@2. 81; bulls $2.oo@4 90;
calves S3.so@375; Texas steers $3.50
aa5: Western steers $3oo@4.4o. Hogs
Receipts today 1900 head; tomor'
row 1900. Choice steady; others low.
sr; mixed and butchers $5.65Q035i
good to choice, heavy, $5.85@6.2oi
Tough, heavy, $5.4o05 80; light $5.75M
ssh; bulk Of sales $575@6.o5. Sheep
Receipts $4,000 head. Market steady
10 1oc lower; good to choice wethers
S3.4o@435; fair to choice mixed S2.25
33.4o; native lambs $3.5o@5o5.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

DMRA foremost notable heroes the nineteenth
contnrv name
steady head unaunted courage and prompt decision
APPROACHED recently his opinion asked to the efficacy OF
pon tho national Without hesitation he
that Peruna
bean used in his family
indicate the wonderful hold that Peruna
non tbe minds of the question
Schey could
his endorsement positive conviction
that he
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
COMMERCIAL REVIEW.
General Trade Conditions.

Bradstreet's weekly Review OF
Trade" says: Mixed trade and crop
conditions still present themselves
though some improvement in tone -
noted where crop estimates as IN ths
case of corn, show expansion. Lower
prices for cereals point the way to lu
ture large business and induce a larger
foreign interest in our farm products
Trade reports vary with sections con-
sidered, the best reports coming IRON
the Southwest, the Northwest and the
Pacific Coast Spotted trade reports
come from sections Of the Middle West
From the South the reports are in the
main favorable as to trade and collec
lions, but crop deterioration is wide
spread, except from the lower Missls'
sippi Valley.
Wheat, including -four, exports for
The week ending October I, aggregate
1852, 681 bushels, against 3,o5o,43o last
week, $3.50, 578 this week last year, o.
los,74o in 1901, and 4,45o,I67 in. 1000
For thirteen weeks Of the cereal year
.hev aggregate 4o,2o7,362 bushels
against 6s,07o,715 in 1902; 8o,322,854 IN
1901. and 43,Io3,835 in 1900. Corn e e
norts for the week aggregate I,I23,S7i
bushels, against 1920 last week; I4I',
l23 a year ago; 9o7,924 in 1901, ana
s,364,24o in 1900. For thirteen weeks
IF the present cereal year they aggre'
gate 1a,72o,122 bushels, against 1888
ESQ in 1902; 12,I32,6Io in 1901, ana 49,
K. G. Dun & Co.'S Review o.
Trade" says: Failures this week IN tn'
United States number 22o, against 231
last week, 21o the preceding week anC
POI the corresponding week last year
and in Canada 10 against 10 last week
10 the preceding week and 20 last year
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
Decidedly Otherwise.

The two young persons had consent
ed for a consideration to stand on an
elevated platform i'll the open air and
be married in the presence OF the I'M
mense crowd at street fair.
After the ceremony was over their
friends surrounded them. -,
Wasn't it dreadfully embarrassing"
they were asked. :,
Embarrassing" echoed the bride
groom, with a broad grin. Il should
say not. 1t relieved the embarrassment.
We'd have been married month ago
if I'd had money enough to pay a
preacher"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
He Was Dull=Mlnded.

"You must not imagine" she said,
"that l would be willing to sit out here
alone with you if you were not SO big
and strong, and able to pick me up IN
your arms as if l were mere child
in case anything happened.
Then because nothing happened she
told her friends that he was dull-witted
and probably had a soul like a with
ared lemon
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
Statue of Tattle.

"If I were a sculptor, l would make
4 mud statue of the Goddess OF Tattle,
and tie a bingham apron around it,"
says Uncle Jim, in the Appleton Press.
Or you might make it a god, put a
derby hat on it, put cigar between its
teeth or a dead line of tobacco juice
about it's feet, and stand it on some
street corner-without it exciting any
comment. The type is all too common.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

The snuff users of the United States
have increased in number about SIX
per cent. a year for several years, tax
ing the annual consumption OF snuff as
the basis of calculation. The aggre'
gate weight Of pinches of snuff taken
last year was 100000 pounds.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
Call Dick Drum!

AT a certain petty sessions the other
day great amount of laughter was
created during the hearing of one OF
the cases. One of the justices OF the
peace rather pompously exclaimed;
Let us have decorum IN the court
please"
An official rushed at once to the door,
calling out, Richard Drum! Richard
Needless to say "decorum" was still
wanting for brief period in that
court.=Tit-Bits
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
ChicagO'S Grit.

"You can't get around the fact" said
Mr.. Packenham, as he proudly moist
ened his handkerchief upon his tongue
for the purpose of removing a streak OF
SCOT from his nose, that Chicago is full
of grit"
Il admit that" replied the visitor
81 feel it in my very teeth the minute
step into one of your streets.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

Little Doris (talking to her doll
whose arm had come off, exposing the
sawdust stufhng)-"You dear, good
obedient dolly, l knew had told yor
to chew your food fine, but l dld not
think you would chew it so hne as
that."-Glasgow Evening Times.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
A Sermon in q Sentence.

If you are morose, moody or despond-
ent; if you have a habit of worrying OF
fretting about things, or any other
fault which binders your growth OF
progress, think persistently OF the OPP
posite virtue and practice it until it is
yours by force of habit.-O. S. Marden,
In C1noocc
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
ADMIRAL SCHLEY
ENDORSES PERUNA.
Peurna Drug Co., Columbus, Ohio: - -, -, .-, TO-
Centemen: cheerfuIy that Ms Scnley nas aNe
effectW S. D. c.

The fact opposition and mas won It's way
r Of rho neope which people have 1e ABOUT
endorsements Gratitude and desire
people give public testimonials o re-
rno who heretofore consented to such publicity
Never before in the happened that SO many men
willing 10 give
n uc endorsements proprietary remedy No amount of advertising
result Peruna has ON its own er
Puna whatever phase or location IN the hua S ~
vtv notable and unique endorsements
The Columbus Ohio for free literature Oh
ntnrrh
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

Iiso's Cure Is the best medicine we ever used
for all affections of throat and lungs.- M
0. ENpsLEY Yanburen, Ind, FeD. ~, l9OO.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

Catarrh cured at home. Three preparatlqns
in one package. Ask your dealer lor II
Hartleys Great Remedy. besureyou Se' N'
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

The woman with lot of children hasn't
much time for fads.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children
teething, soften the gums, reduces lnnamm ma
ton allaYs pain. cures wind collie. zoe. pOttle
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

FITSpermanentlyc cured. No fits or nervous.
ness after first days use Of DR.. Kline's Great
NerveRestorer s2trlal bottle and treatisefree
Dr.R.H. KLINE. Ltd, 931 Arch St., Phila., Pa.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

Even the favors we do some people are
regarded with suspicion.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

Five hundred and sixty thousand
persons in the United States are de-
pendent upon thu street cars for sup
port.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

Actions may speak louder than words
but money often talks louder than either.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

PUTNAM FADELEss DYES do not STAN
the hands or spot the kettle, except green
and purple.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

Some men can't even climb ladder ez-
cept in roundabout way.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

/ There are people who only put on Their
best manners with their best clothes.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16

The fellow who thinks he knows it all
wouldn't be such a nuisance If be could
only keep it to himself.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-10-16
LEI THIS COUPON BE YOUR MESSENGER OF DELNEKANOf
FROM KIDNEY, BLADDER, AND URINARY TROUBLES

The reason you can
get this trial free Is be-
cause they cure Kidney
ills and will prove it to
you.
WEST BRANCH, Mich
"Doan's Kidney Pills hit the
case, which was an unusual
desire to urinate - had to
get up five or six times OF
a night. / think diabetes
was well underway, the
feet and ankles swelled.
There was an intense pain
in the back, thGs.1eat OF
which would feel IKE put
ting ones hand up to a
lamp chimney. l have
used the free trial and two
full boxes Of Doan's Pills
with the satisfaction OF
feeling that / am cured.
They are the remedy par
excellence"
B. F. BALLARD.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-02-10

1t seems to go mighty hard with the
representatives, at Washington of the
three allied powers that they cannot
bulldoze Mr.. Bowen and have the dis
pute with Venezuela settled on their
own terms. Mr.. Bowen has stood up for
his patron as a true American should
and he has brought England, Germany
and Italy to time. His rejection of
their claims for preference in the pay
ment of the demand against Venezuela
and forcing the question to arbitration
before The Hague tribunal was a great
victory for him. The British ambassa-
dor lost his temper and almost his head
at one time and came near throwing all
of his fat into the fire. The consequence
of his conduct was a reprimand from
the British foreign office, with a re-
hinder that he was in Washington to
obey orders.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-02-10

President Roosevelt and some others in
the north to place the negro upon an
equality with the white people poi;ti-
cally and socially, which it grsatly
deplores for the sake Of the negr' as
we'll as for white people, The Manu-
f~acturers' Record has the following to
say:
The pity of President Roosevelts
attempt to reverse the judgment Of
the intelligence of the ountr about
the negro is that the negro will be the
chief sufferer. For President Roose-
Welt his dragged into the mire Of lol-
ftfce. the greatest bane of The freeman.
Booker Washington, who. it was
thought, would in avoiding that Tire.
become the leader Of his race back to
the right starting point. It is of little
moment that endorsements mAy
have thus been induced for BooFer
Waehineton's associates in the south
ern education scheme or those involved
in the Child labor agitation. But the
true friends of Booker WASHINGTON VIII
be sorry that he has been unwittineIy
led into a isaDrointment Of their hopes
for his race through him."
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-02-10
ENDORSE HANNA'S BILL.
Confederate Veterans Camp Want
E~Y-SIayes to be PcnsiOned.

Birmingham, Ala, February Camp
Hardee, United Confederate Veterans
today unanimously passed resolutions
endorsing the bill introduced by Sena-
tor Hanna allowing pensions to form
er slaves. The resolutions say in part:
We heartily endorse this bill and
sincerely hope that congress act upon
it and give to all worthy ex-slaves, who
are in real need. a pension sufficient to
keep them from suffering and want.
A most kindly feeling (almost that Of
comrades) prompts US to our slaves in
this matter, realizing the fact that the
southern slave was not the cause by
any act of his own of the shedding of
one drop of blood in the civil war.
THE conservative southern people
entertain for the slave a most cordial
and true friendship, and sincerely hope
that the present congress will give him
a pension sufficient at least to keep him
from real want and suffering"