The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-06-11
A DIPLOMATIC COMEDY.

mented his wife on her new way of doing
her hair
~ am so glad you have noticed it at
once, DEAR" was the reply. Il have only
| been dressing it this way for about two
He picked up mantel ornament, ex-
| months
amined it, put it down and rearranged the
window shade before he said:
BY the way, how is the new cook get
| ting on?"
She has. been getting on SO we'll since
the day she came that If I had a new
dyspepsia medicine to put on the market
L should open a hotel and make her sign
a contract TO cook for it al least three
years"
"Ah-er-and the paper haners. have
they been here today?"
They have. 1t seems to me that three
days of paper hangers in the house is
about equal TO cyclone"
Poor little girl. you really need a little
amusement after all this domestic bother,
so r.
You want me to go to the theater to-
morrow evening? How nice of you But
I should never have thought of it If you
hadn't insisted.
- Nah. yes. yes, quite SO; of course
we will go. But that was not quite what
1 started to say. r.
oh you dear fellow. You see that 1
am quite worn out with care and you are
thinking of that little southern trip which
1 have just mentioned once or twice.
''I-ah-that is, we will speak of that to-
morrow. BY the way, who do you think
came into the Office quite unexpectedly
today? Tom Brownsmith and Charley
Marshmallow They are here for a few
days only. 7 must not forget TO tell you
that Charley asked if you were as handsoe
as when he last saw you"
Yes, l remember that 1 had a bad cold
in my head that day"
''Er-ah, Tom is widower. but Charley
is still a bachelor. Poor fellows; L am
sure they would enjoy a glimpse of real
domestic felicity if they had the chance
to see it,
Then why don't they get married? Nice
girls are as plenty as-as deceptive men.
Now. there are my two sisters who
yes, that is just what l thought. You
see, IL thought that if Tom and Charley
saw how happy We are in our own little
home they might wish to marry"
"Humph, AS they have never seen
Edith and Mabel, don't see
But that it would be good plan? I'm
so glad you think So too. II thought Of
that and asked them both to dine with us
this evening Tom hesitated-I told you
that he was a widower-but Charley ac-
copied at once. They will be here in few
moments
w ny. James van JOIleSs 4 ain sur pIlSSu
at you-with such a cook as we have had
for the last week, with the house full of
paperhangers, and when your wife has
actually nothing decent to wear OF the
dinner tablet
"I-er-I am sorry that I told you this
morning that I could not afford that new
waist you wanted. And of course we can
give the boys just what we hapen to have
for ourselves
Yes, and have them think that Edith
and Babel would always serve such din
nersi No. James, / will not ruin the pros
poets of my own sisters. You must just
, send those ewo men away again. Now, If
1 had a single decent waist to wear
You shall have that waist if it costs
fifty dollars. Can you send and get it
now?'
why, oddly enough. it happens to be in
the house now. I had it sent up on APP
prevail, intending to have little seam
stress copy it for me tomorrow. But IL
you insist 1 will take it, though wouldn't
for the world buy anything you couldn't
afford. 1 had rather never see any of
your friends in this house than that.
"Of course 1 can afford it. / was-well.
l was merely joking this morning when I
said that the first place you would need
to wear it would be to the poor house.
BY the way, L suppose you can manage
to give Tom and Charley some kind of
dinner can't your
Mrs. Van Jones turned from the mirror
in which she had been adjusting the new
waist.
"Oh, yes. 1 can manage it. dear 1 for
got to tell you that the old cook came
back this morning. 1 had to promise her
more wages but that is q mere detail.
The paperhangers finished at noon, and
all traces of their presence have been OBJ
liberated. And, by the way, | happened 10
meet Tom and Charley on the street to-
day when / was aut shopping and they
told me you had invited them TO dinned,
so I am all ready for them. I am so glad
that you really want me to have this
waist I'd never have taken such an ex-
pensive one If you hadn't insisted. And
| must not forget to tell you that l also
invited Edith and Mabel to dinner Isn't
Their Topic.
1. The sweet girl graduate had finished the
reading Of her essay to the great audience
which had assembled to listen to the com
mencement exercises. Her many auditors
had sat entranced. listening to the low
toned music of her voice or borne away in
spirit by the graceful eloquence with
which she treated her subject. Progress,
the Worlds Rule of Action They had
listened breathlesfy while she announced
that IF we do not progress we gain moth
ing. and if we gain nothing we do not
progress" They had cheered her to the
echo when she asserted that in the I'm
equivocal progress Of authropomo-phic
man is witnessed the unvarying operation
of the supreme fiat of our destiny" al
though several poole had asked one an
other for d key. 1t was all over and the
sweet girl graduate was standing in the
left wing with her equally sweet girl
friend
How did YOU like it?" she asked Of her
friend.
"Oh. it was perfectly lovely
And do YOU think they all liked it,
"Oh( they thought II was just too sweet
for anything. They couldn't help 1t.
Gould you see anything wrong about
it2-'
Not a thing. There wasn't anything
wrong 1t fitted you perfectly, and -
There. The secret is revealed You
thought they were talking about her es-
saw didn't you? That shows all you
know about sweet girl ghradustes- Ihey
were talking about her graduating gown,
Of course. What else should they have
| been talking about? What is an essay
house comparatively speaking Alfred j.
Waterhouse in y Y. Herald
that the door bell now2'-Elisa Arm
strong Bengough in y. Y Herald
Jeffersonian Simplicity.
Jefferson had tethered his horse TO the
fence while he delivered his address,.
Doubtless YOU wished 20 inculcste the
lesson OF simplicity" asked his constitu-
ents
NO" replied the great man. 1T was
force Of habit I always tie Up my auto
mobile.
Meekly they retired. leaving history to
get it down crooked