davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
Samples of Nevada Jones.

W. E. Curtis in Chicago Record Herald.
 Senator John P. Jones of Nevada, who will be succeeded by Francis c. New lands after March {. MT. Jones served in the Senate continuously since 1873 and will have completed his thirtieth year and often cuts deep with his satire, all surpassed by three men only and equalled by only two others. Senator Jones will be sadly missed. He tells a good story and often cuts dep with his satire, al- though he Is never malicious. Tom Fitch, a reckless companion of his earlier years, and indulged in few personalities. Said he:
 Jones. don't understand it,"
 Don't understand what?"
 T don't understand the laws of fate. When I first Knew you forty years ago you were a poor, struggling tenderfoot, without a dollar or a friend, and l was rich and influential and have neither money nor friends
 .sThe reason for that is perfectly clear to me-" s&d Jones. The trouble with you. Tom. is that an inscrutible Provi- dence created you without the power to distinguish between right and wrong and you are a blank poor guesser."
 When a certain new Senator delivered his first greae speech and was looking around for compliments he approached the venerable philosopher from Nevada while the latter was smoking his post luncheon cigar in the cloak room of the Senate.
 Senator Jones, you are the father of the Senate and l am the youngest child and I should like to ask your advice. Having heard my speech. you can see what am capable of, and l would be grateful If you would be good enough to tell me whether in your opinion 1t would be better for me to speak frequently or hold myself in reserve?"
 Young man." said the Senator. you've got a d-n good vocabulary. and If you'll take my advice you won't make any more speeches until you have cultivated your intellect up to it."
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
THE MODERN CENSUS.
"It Is Decennial Snap Shot of the
 Nation"


 Director W. R. Miriam in the Century. Since 179O the area of the United States has increased from s27,sH to 1892. 933 square miles; the number of counties has increased from 307 to 2.867; and the total population has increased from 3929, ,214 to 76. .303. SS7, or nineteenfold. There are four States each possessing, in 1900 popula- tion greater than that of the entire na- ton in 1790 at which time two of the four were an untrodden wilderness. The num- Der of cities with population of 5000 or over has increased from 6 to 546 and tho number with population of 8,000 or over from to 161. There are now 3S cities having a population exceeding 100. 900, and of these have over l, ,000. 900 each. In 1900 the record of capital, wages and value of products of manufactures rises to figures almost beyond comprehension. The capi- tai invested was $9.8t6, ,62S ,564; the salaries and the value of products was S13.O9o 27S,- 5e6. In agriculture the figures are almost equally impressive. The total value of farms in 1900 was S18, ,eoo. .247, and that of agricultural products in 1858, $4.739 118, . 752. To gather and collate such stupen- dous figures, not only with accuracy, but so swiftly that the record of population to report of tho first census was task of the first magnitude. It was indeed an evolution.
 Such Is the modern census. It Is a de- cennial snap shot of the nation for the benefit of all time. Patrick Henry de- clared that there was but one lamp by which his feet were guided-Experience But so important has the study of facts become that statistics presenting the which guides the statesman and the stu dent of today.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
soME eRAvE oHAnaRs.

A somewhat singular and not at all creditable condition of affairs has devel- cped at Jefferson City, the capital of Missouri, growing out of grave charges of bribery and boodling made against membeTs of the Legislature. So persist ent were these charges, and of such grave nature, that Judge Hazel, of the Circuit Court of Cole County, in which Jefferson City is located, called the grand 5ury together in special session to inves- kigate the matter. One portion of his in- structions to the jury is interesting as showing the desperate character of some pf the boodlers and the means resorted 10 to prevent an investigation. He said: ''The honest people residing in Missouri will not permit the capital to be removed from the city and county simply because you have done your duty in Investigating the charges made against legislators, or bring them to the bar of public justice if you find they were guilty of any wrong."
 This language was used because the guilty parties and their friends had threatened to have the capital removed if any investigation was ordered, or any attempt made to punish the dishonest members of the Legislature. It was hoped by them that such threat would deter the courts. judges and juries of Cole County from making any attempt 10 ferret out and punish any of the guilty parties.
 As intimated, these threats show the desperate character of the accused par ties. as we'll as their fear of punishment, and they amount to a pretty plain admis- sion of guilt. Judge Hazell. at least, seems rot to be influenced by the threats, and 1t remains to be seen if the juries are equally honest and courageous. If the charges are true. 1t is to be hoped that the means adopted by the guilty parties will fail to protect them and that they will get what they richly deserve. Mis- souri cannot afford to ape Delaware and Pennsylvania.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
LUCKY NAMES OF NOVELS.
Successful Books Called After the
 Stories Principal Characters.

Philadelphia Press.
 They were discussing at the Franklin Inn Club the names of novels.
 The thing to do." said an elderly man. Ifs to call your novel after the name of the leading character-to call 1t John Smith,. or T. White Pitcoe.' or some thing of that sort"
 Why is that the thing to dol" asked poet.
 Because the best and the most suc- cessful novels always have such names, the other replied. Take the standard, the great, novelists, and you will find that the greatest book of each gets its simple and plain title from the leading characters name"
 Give some instances the poet said:
 Instances are easy to give. What is the best novel of Dickens? It is David Copperfeld.' What is the best novel of Thackeray? It is Henry Esmond.' What Is the best novel of Scott? It is Ivan- hoe What is the best novel of Steven sonY David Balfour.' Of George Mere dith? Harry Richmond Of William Dean Howells? 'Silas Lapham.' Of H. G. Wells? Mir. Lewisham.' Of George Moore? Evelyn Innes.' Of rolstoI? An na Karenina.'
 These things" the speaker concluded, 'show a man that 1t Is a lucky and we'll omened thing for him to name his book after the leading character in it.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
A WRONG CONSERVATION.

The Ashville Aegis has gotten hold of the wrong end of the string. A few days ago The Advertiser remarked that Maine would continue to maintain absolute prohibition and unlimited whiskey sell ing" whereupon The Aegis says:
 We have observed that our able con- temporary is very frequently agitated over the efforts of some of it's Northern contemporaries in the effort to criticise or slur the South; but it never loses an opportunity not to practice what 1t breaches. Now the action of the people of Maine alone concerns themselves, and as 1t is not an interference with the dis position of any other State to introduce the dispensary system in line of the open saloon to increase the output of manu- factured drurkards, and in an effort to and profitable we can't see why a news paper in the South should try to belittle 1t among those not in a situation to un- derstand the facts.
 If we comprehend what The Aegis is driving at. it is accusing The Advertiser of unjustly criticising the people of ton. and 1t imaginss, apparently. that
 we are opposing prohibition or the es- tablishment of dispensaries in that State.
 We were doing nothing of the kind. and our little squlb was merely a sarcastic reference to the conditions which noto-
 riously prevail there. Maine is and has for many years pos d as a strictly pro-
 hibition State, yet all who have read the papers know that the sale of liquor is notorious. In the city of Bangor. for example, a dealer who pays a fine once a year can sell liquor the remainder of the year without interference. notwith- standing the fact that the law prohibits such sales. The law in that city is worse that farc,, and other sections of the State are little better, judging by what their own papers say.
 It is the miserable hypocrisy of the business that we criticised. If they want prohibition or local option. high license or dispensaries. that is their own affair. but for honesty's sake let them have one or the other and abide by 1t. To have prohibition in theory and free liquor selling in practice is what we have no patience with.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

the inquiries of the Judgp the young fei- low replied that he had come to stay; that he was the off1ce boy at nothing . week. All he wanted, he said, was a chance to make himself useful. and incl dentally to read a little law. Things were kept so clean, and the young man was SO respectfully determined to res main, that Judge Burch good-naturedly acquiesced.
 In seven years Smith was . member of the firm. In seven years more he was part owner in the principal newspaper In the place. and proprietor of branch railroad. In another seven years he had added two more railroads to his assets, and was in Congress. Meantime the wheel of fortune has been turning; Mont gomery is on the bench of the Michigan Supreme Court: Judge Burch, through the influence of his former office boy, has been appointed assistant to the United States Attorney General. and resides in Washington; while Pierce who had met with financial reverses. was rewarded for the passkey which he had given Smith by an appointment ss Assistant Sergeant at-Arms of the United States House of Representatives.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
RECLAMATION OF HIGH PLAINS.
A great Work to Be Described by the United States Geographical Survey.

United States Geographical Survey. National Geographic Magazine.
 The efforts of the Photographic branch of the United State Geological Survey are being directed to the discovery of sufiicient water to lead to the reclama- ton and hahitation of that area of the Great Plains lying west of the prairtes and east of the Rocky Mountains, com monly known as the High Plains. The section is admirably suited to agricul- ture and grazing except for its made quate water supply, which is so uncer- tain that great areas of fertile land lie quite uninhabited.
 This is especially true of the regions lying between the liver valleys which cross 1t at wide intervals. Theser broad intervalley plateaus are practically wa- terless, but 1t has been discovered that water may be had from underground has been demonstrated that, while the region may not be largely reclaimab ble by irrigation, it may be successfully used for grazing by creating stock watering points at comparatively close intervals. 1t will. however, be difficult. if not i'm possible, for the grazers to raise any, thing besides fodder cane of the drought resisting varieties, such as Kaff1r corn Vegetables and other products will for the most part, probably have to be grown elsewhere.
 The river valleys. on the other hand seem destined to be extensively culti- vated by irrigation the water for which will be pumped from the gravels of the river beds. where an underfiow has been known to continue in the summer season after the rivers themselves have ceased to run. These areas will furnish garden produce for the ranches on the plateau, and in this manner make the region as a whole inhabitable. The details of this investigation, with exhaustive studies of the nature of the underground waters of the High Plains, appear in the Twenty first and Twenty second Annual Reports of the United States Geological Survey, the latter of which Is now in press and will soon be issued.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
The Basis of Representation.

cun.
 The Hon. MT. Crumpacker's idea is said to be to base representation in the House of Representatives upon the vote cast rather than upon the population. In that case we are free to conclude that the North would fare reasonably we'll In the Sonth. where there is for all practical purposes only one political party, men do not consider 1t essential to travel long distances to cast a merely formal vote Then, too. many negroes have been dis fraichised because of their illiteracy For these reasons comparatively few votes are cast at Congressional elections in that sec ton. But in the North the case is differ ent. Voting precincts are so conveniently located and the facilities for voting are so attractive that the number of ballots cast can oly be limited by the size of the bal lot box. The other day voter in Boston admitted to legislative committee that at the lest election in that enlightened thought center he had voted seven times 4t the nominal rate of dollar a time. lie thought he had done well until his employees reproached him with inactivity ana told him that another public spirited cltizen had cast no fewer than twenty Tour votes at the same election.
 And the voting facilities in Boston are not 10 be compared with those of Phila- delphia, The City of Brotherly Love. in a supreme effort to increase its represen- tation in the interest of a high tariff for the protection or American labor could easily cast hundred million In such a competition for representation the South would be easily distanced.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
SENATOR PUaH's SPEECH.
An. Anti-Bellum Deliverance That
 Does Not Read Well Now,

New York Mail and Express.
 Ex-Senator Pugh of Alabama is a famil- far and highly respected figure in the na- tional capital. where he spends the win ter months. To a caller the other day he recalled a speech he made as a Represen- tative in the Thirty-sixth Congress, advo- eating the coistitutional right of a State to secede from the Union.
 T was very proud of that speech said MT. Pugk. 1t received the unprece- dented compliment of being reprinted in The London Times. Soon after it's delivery 1 called on President Buchanan. 'Pugh,' said he, I heard so much about your speech that read 1t all through. It's rhe- toric and eloquence are fine. Its only fault Is that 1t is devoid of common sense.'
 T thanked the President for his quail ,,,th pirI thn, ,It W ts a W nun agree old speech over today I am inclined to think that might admit that he was right"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
Made Himself omce Boy.

Washington Letter to Boston Transcript.
 Be good to the office boy Is a moral taught by the career of William Alden Smith of Michiiga7 He had saved lit Blackstone. This was in 1879. He thought first of Chicago, and even went SO far as to go to that city and apply for place as office boy in the firm of Walker & Dexter But 1t was In the summer and the heads were all out of town. and he ended by returning to Grand Rapids. Here he selected the firm of Burch & Montgomery. He had suggested this before. but they had Tot needed him. he was this time confronted by a closed office and card tackled on the door saying they were out of town and would not he back for several weeks.
 But this did not daunt Smith who look ed up Mir. Pierce, the owner of the building. and a man of some prominence In the. town. He told Pierce, what he wanted, and finally persuaded him 10 give hin passkey t1 the office And So t happened when Judge Barch ie- turned, he tolad kis ofh2ss swept and garn!she6, and a brisk young clerk dli- gently reading at nne of the dasls. T."
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
the sarin ,ssu. is and should b. n.a.

the tarir issue is and should bs made prominent.
 It makes not a particle of difference whether the man we nominate voted for Bryan or not. for that cannot be made . Party test next year. but the man whom we select must be one who does not want to put forward the issues of .1sss and 1900 as the ones on which to make the fight. We must have man. if we wish to succeed. who can carry New York and the other Democratic States which were driven of by the unfortunate delu- sions of 1896. Pity that more of our prominent Democrats are not as patriotic and as sensible as Senator Morgan.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
TUESDAY, MARCH s1, 1908.
DOUBLE GOLDEN SYMBOL.

The American Newspaper Directory uses cer- tain signs Co denote the relative standing and merit of the whole nsid of newspapsrdom which comes under its notice. and enc of thess sigma is the mystic symbol 1 ] dsnotlng ..xoldsn," which stands for high quality. and Is thus explained:
 ..AdveEtisers value this papsr naors for ths riass and quality of its circulation than for ths mere number Of copies printed"
 Such papers are credited with . single sym Dol; but thsrs Is higher grade. according to this standard authority. which have BoTA QUALITY AND QUANTITY. and require the DOUBLE GOLDEN SYMBOL I>.~ ts describe adequately their standing.
 The Advertiser has been accorded this toubls golden symbol 00l and, is the o=iy paper 90 distinguished in this section oe the South
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
The Negro's Home.

Marion County News.
 The South is the negro's future home, and if the Republican agitators will let him alone he will cease to be factor in politics and will become a contented, prosperous man. He can never hold office to any extent as long as time lasts. and the sooner he quits listening to the honeyed words of his enemies in the North the sooner will the star of his destiny be in sight.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

The Talladegs News-Reporter cele- day .and it is as spry and virile as a There have been many and important happenings in Alabama since the old Reporter began to make its weekly visits to the people. but through all of them 1t has kept up It's good name and reputation as a newspaper. May it sec three-score more anniversaries.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

The esteemed Virginia Pilot declines to commit Itself to. the supbort of the Ma tional Democratic ticket.It declares that nobody knows what he will do if the un- expected happens until 1t does happen" The "unexpected' in this case is the nomins ton of MT. Cleveland. and The v.-P. is leaving itself free to-boltI
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
Fled From the Room.
Covin9ton News.

A certain prominent minister of Anda- lusia-we promised not to call any names was marrying q couple recently and when he had concluded the first part of the ceremony and 1t come time for the groom to answer he grabbed his would be bride by the hand and in a somewhat excited voice said: "I will, by the help of God! try mel It Is said that after he recovered from the shock the minister proceeded to finish the ceremony and then fled from the room.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
What Is ItP
Shemeld Reaper,

SnemelQ Reaper.
 The Montgomery Advertiser says: ''The Huntsville Mercury fires the word 'schinnfng' at us without key or dia- gram. What Is it?" We'll presume 1t Is Huntsville Dutch for "shinning' until the Virginia papers explain.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

The vicksburg Herald refers to Mir. Bryan and Colonel watterson as .'this pair of envious and moribund egotics. |" Isn't that likely to cause blood on the moon.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

Three new Alabama papers have found their way to our table recently. They are The Carbon Hill Enterprise. The Wylam New Era and The Whistler. To all of them The Advertiser tenders its best wishes and hopes they may find both pleasure and profit in laborins for their respective communities.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

The Memphis scimitar argues that pro- hibition may do for small towns and villages. but for a large town dryness b mighty unwholesome." 1t concludes. Well, whether 1t is unwholesome or not, there are those who consider 1t very in- convenient.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

The Savannah Press observes that MT. Cleveland Is read out of the Democratic Party every day by people who cannot prove their right to be in it. And who are not in 1t to any great extent. The Press might have added.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
May Be Hope.

New Decatur Advertiser
 After Ireland Is free. and Russia eman- cipated, there may be hope that the people of the United States will be de- livered from the iron rule of trusts and monopolies. But we don't believe 1t will be under Republican rule.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
How Do You Knowp

Bessemer Workman.
 The Montgomery Advertiser would like to have -four years more of Grover but the sage of Princeton finds other fish that are easier to catch than the Presidency.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
Should Consult a Doctor.

Mobile Herald
 Really MT. watterson should consult doctor about his political nightmares. One Is liable to carry him of suddenly. As q specialist on Groverism we recommend MT. Bryan.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

The Montgomery Advertiser says jack rabbits are ''ubikuitous." That is quality unknown by that name up here. Will The Advertiser explain before the Virginia papers make a ''mommux" of 1t and spoil the rabbit?-Shefleld Reaper.
 Oh. that was only the Linotype's method of spelling ubiquitous" but you needn't worry. The Virginia papers can't better it.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

This is @ billion and . half country" |" gurgles a Republican paper Of course it is, as long as the Republicans are in power and can rob the people.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

Tha. Burdick case shoulder can-sup- ply material for some good detective sto- ries. in which the writer could show just how the detectives didn't find out any thing. Where's the sleuth writers?
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
0zornulSion

It is a medicinal emulsion of cod liver oil, containing principles which vitalize and oxygenate the blood and there by gives fresh life and energy to the tissues.
 Ozomulsion is the good food, the easy food, the universal food, for all who are sick or in need of strength. To be had at all druggists. Try it.
 In order that you may test the merits ot Ozomulsion, send you name and full address to
 THE OZoMULSION co.
 De Peyster Street, New York, mentioning this paper, and large sample mail nranaid
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

Ad Wimbs thinks the President should call in the commission of every man who is not in political sympathy with him." Won't that rattle 'em?
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
The Advertisers Telephones.
Previous tsecords Smashed.

By referring to the following circulation statement for the month of February. 1908. h put h gradually increasing in spite Of the 1nid-wtnter season being one ot the duliest Of tn point of daily average circulation of THE ADVERTISER.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
Warm Numbers.

Anntston Hot Blast. if Mir. Roosevelt and Mir. Cleveland
 both stop over in Lincoln. Neb., future Issues of The Commoner will be warm
 numbers in every possible acceptation or the term.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

A8e-Hefald.
 When Mrs. Catt is a candidate for presi- dent of the National Woman Suffrage As- socfation she always lands on her feet
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31

Freedom of speech, as illustrated by a toafer standing on the streets, lying about industrious and respectable people, was not the original idea.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-31
. < < < << < A << < <e%e ' WHAT THE STATE PAPERS < ' ARE SAYING. <

 Lands on Her Feet.