davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

handing 1t over. 1T is statement made by Baron
Munchausen in his Further Recollecuons. now pub
lished in the Gehenna Gazette, that / old
fraud, and that he himself in previous state OF eX-
istence. Jonah. What is more. he foreshadows
am myself engaged and hope 10 have finished in time
for the next holiday He not only Hbels me by
calling old fraud but actually proposes 10 take
the bread out OF my mouth by writing pTonlaoie
work which but myself is entitled to write
glanced over the article complained Of which read
Now as to Jonah really dislike very much 70
eedu upon TINS worthy toes ana siloula not 40 ~
ume Of Tales of the Whales which I wrote for chill
dren last summer claiming that was infringing up
on MS copyright and feeling that j. as seLrespecl
ing man. would never claim the discredit of having
myself been the person he claims to have BEEN !
VIII candldly confess that am not proud or my
achievements Jonah / a very oily person be-
fore l embarked upon the seas as Lord High Ad-
miral Of II. NJ S. Leviathan. / not a pleasant
person to know. II I spent the night with friend,
his roof would fall I'm his house would burn down.
If I bet on a horse he would lead up TO the home
stretch and fan down dead inch from the nnish.
If i went into stock speculation, was invariably
caught on a rising or falling market In my youth I
spoiled every yachting party went on by attract
ing a gale. When came out the moon went behind
cloud, and people who began by endorsing my pa
Commerce wouldn't have me. Boards OF trade every
where repudiated me and gradually sank into that
the sea or in politics, and. as politics was then
unknown. went TO sea- The result is known TO the
world. was cast overheard, and ngulfed by whale
which in his defense let me be generous enough to
say, swallowed me inadvertently, and with the US
ual result I back, and life went on. Finally /
came here and when il got the of the author
tiles that I in Hades, they sent me back for the
fourth time on earth in the person of William
Shakespeare.
This is the whole Of the Jonah story 1t is a sad
story and I regret it; and I sorry for the mpos-
tor posing Jonah, when I reflect that the
character he assumed possesses attractions for him.
His real life must have been fearful thing If he Is
happy in his representation and for his punishment
let us leave him where he is Having told the truth,
1 have done my duty cheerfuly resign my claim
the personality he claims-I relinquish from this
time on. all right title, and interest i'm the name;
but if he dares TO interfere with me again in
the use of my personal recOlectiOns concerning the
inside of whales 1 shall hale him before the author
tiles"
''Weu" said J. as I finished reading Munchausen's
strange narrative Il don't what I have to do
with a like this. I'm not attorney, but a de-
tective. What you need is a lawyer"
There isn't a lawyer in all Hades that will take
the case said Jonah "I went to Blackstone and be-
cause the moment i entered his office, a bookcase
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

lowed one Of the pebbles he keeps in his mouth TO
overcome stammerlng. IL lodged In MS VermlIorm
hours. He won't be out again for six weeks and
meanwhile this beastly libel is going the rounds un-
why don't some of your friends come to the
front and you straight? Hadn't you any neghbors
found Ola MuncnausenE asked Tor i was torn Dy
conflicting emotions / was aWfully sorry for the old
gentleman whose luck had been so hard as 70 be de-
sei4oeq only by Jhe adJectlFe aoSanalltilie Dul on
the other hand. had myself 20 consider, and when
i thought Of the woes that had come upon slack
stone, JeHreys. samson and Denosthenes Tor nav
ing undertaken 10 champion Jonahs cause I was eX-
uemely loath 10 put my own neck in the same moose
wanted 10 get free of him with the mere oHerahce
of advice, and / TaCked my brain TO find some sem
blance Of reasonable scheme TO send him forth toll
erably content with my good Will But it was without
avail The suggestion merely elected the fact of
more unhappy condition that I had surmised.
They actually refuse TO have anything to do with
me- he said, sadly. There isn't one Of 'em viii con-
sent to within a mile of me, if he help it.
You see they remember the old days when acauaint-
ance with me was enough to send man into bank
ruptcy. I don't know why it is, Mr.. Homes. but Pm
the antipodes of that old jackass. Midas. He doesn't
turns TO gold, whilst well, everything ] touch
turns into AttlebOrO jewelry in minute. I frankly
believe that if I had the koh--noor diamond in my
possession for five minutes IL would turn out TO be
nothing more than poor quality Of rhinestone be-
No indeed Mr. Homes there's no relief there As a
matter of fact Job himself. who is case hardened
brother absolutely refuses 10 lift his hnger to help
me out
My soul fired by all this misery. I forgot the
despOilment Of my papers and the destruction Of my
clock and sent him away with a promise of help.
1t the hardest task I had ever undertaken, for
there seemed way out Of the situation. Silence
JOnah's part in the public eye appeared 10 con-
firm the truth of Munchausen's words, but how could
he speak with the ordinary Channels Of redress
barred2 The lawyers out of it. and after the
Jeffreys accident the courts were morally II
not physically closed to him. His friends refused
speak and without them the poor old fellow stood
alone in the battle with of the most ingenious
and plausible liars of the age Fortunately however,
a trip with DR.. Johnson and Sir Walter Raleigh
down to Charybdis Rock a sort Of Cimmerian Coney
Island suggested a solution Of Jonah's troubles It
so happened that there a sWOrd-sWalloWer
there. who claimed TO be the greatest in the bust
ness because for two years his challenge to swallow
swords against the world had gone untaken, where
fore he had dubbed himself the great and only" In
an instant the solution of Jonahs troubles flashed
across my mind.
HE MUST CHALLENGE MUNCHAUsEN TO BE
SWALLOWED BY WHALE, BEST THREE IN
FIVE, FOR THE TITLE THEY BOTH CLAIMED.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

Z L WAS a long, lank specimen Of humanity who.
NN but FOR the absence Of wings. hour-gIass and
scythe. might easily have passed for old Father
Time. moment before he entered my office there
was terrific crash out in the hallway and the build
ing shook as though there had been an earthquake
sprang 70 my feet and rushed TO the doorway. thor
oughly alarmed Flnging the door wide open the wiz
ened old gentleman. covered with plaster from the
ceiling which had fallen upon him. plunged headlons
into the room and sDrawled upon the floor with his
head IN my waste basket The heaviness of his fan
was such 90 send my tall eight-day clock of its
balance. and it topped over on top Of the old gem
tleman. smashing It's face on the way down upon my
ink bottle and scattering the contents OF that vessel
over about everything IN the room. including myself
Nor was this the worst for top Of ali this ruin
about six square feet Of my own ceiling ike that OF
the hallway, was Ioosened and FELL with crash over
all. It "a wonderful transformation. and it hap
pened ln the twinking Of eye. Where only thirty
Seconds before the we'll ordered systematically
ranged and scrupuously clean Office OF Shylock
Homes. the Ferret. was now scene Of muddy desc
ation My first thought however was for my visitor.
who lay, cursing. underneath the clock feared he
might be- seriously hurt and fastened TO his assist
ance. but fortunately. barring bruised dignity,
and a ruhied temper he was none the worse OFF for
his precipitate. entry.
''Wuh-Wait a minute til I get my breath" he
painted busted him of. and scaped the ink from
his nose with my eraser Inland I'll tut-ten you
huh-who i am"
There is no need" said T. gazing about me upon
the ruin his coming had wrought II perceive from
head, and the decentralization that has overtaken my
Office since your arrival that you none other than
that Prince Of Hoodoos. George w. Jonah Esq, Cap
tain of the Whale and Harbnger of Ill-luck 1
thought at first you might be job but when I heard
the language YOU used when the clock fell You,
which assure you is not tit TO print. knew at
that YOU were not he but yourself. What do
for you2"
May I sit down for a mOment?' he asked.
You can If you'll pay for the chair" said J. for
perceived very clearly what would happen yielded
20 his request There is no known chair bench. set
tee dlvan made of irOn steel solid oak that
would De safe with him IL. nay. if its seat
of plate. and its legs of the squat thick
ness of grand pianos.
Perhaps We'd better go out IN the park and talk"
ne suggested. Some place where nothing can fall
as. IL might be safer"
mo" said T. "we're better off here We've already
had all that be coming 10 as I'm the way of
troube-unless, of course the house falls What can
] do Tor yOu2
paper clipping from the folds Of his garment and
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15
VII.-Mr. Homes Tackles a Hard Case.

This surely would be the supreme test, for reck
oned that Baron Munchausen would either decline
the challenge. and thus be placed hors &c combat IL
the event OF J0nahs successfully surviving the orr
deal accept. and granting the untruth OF his as
sertions fail TO do The trick with the ease and grace
with which the more experienced Jonah would per-
form it,
gestion to Jonah. and was pleased at his ready ac
Splendid" he cried 'ru be glad"
Just here the telephone switchboard was struck
by lightning, and the connection cut OF, but had his
approval OF my plan. which was an needed.
In due course the challenge sent and was pub
lished by myself in an the newspapers of Hades. 40
attracted immediate attention as novel proposition
and Jonahs position began 70 gather strength tN-
pectation rose to fever height The match thc
talk Of all the clubs, and the betting ran up into the
thousands when, I expected he would DO, Mum
chausen declined. He had previous engagement he
said, although date had been specified His stock
fell hundred points in a night but Jonah's battle was
only half won. 1t needed cluching. so i announce
publicly that while regretted inability 10 make
match with Munchausen, rather than disappoint the
Jonah himself the following Saturday evening. az
the Aquarium, would plunge into the leyiathan tank
and permit himself TO be ''ngulfed." The evening
came The place was packed My suffering client enc
tered stepped the edge of the tank, dove head FIRST
persons swan giaceluy INTO lhe open Jaws OF JUMBO
the Elephant of the Sea, the levathan was called
and disappeared from view.
The cheers that rent the air were such wen nigh
90 remove the top Of the building and all night long
the streets were thronged by cheering, bowling mob
who hailed Jonah as the COnquerng Hero OF the Hour
and heered and jeered at Munchausen TO such eZ-
tent that he was forced to leave the city and remain
in hiding until the storm blew over.
But, alasi There really victor for, in spite
Of his feat poor Jonah enjoyed the fruits hI-
and courage for for some unaccOuutabe reason
he has not returned from the interior which veXeI
me more than like to say. am not easily to be de-
ceived and i seldom make mistakes but Jonah's fail
10 emerge from within the capaCious person the
Elephant of the Sea indicates either that the man
whose cause l champiOned was a spurious Jonah OF
that selected the wrong kind of whal for my ex-
pertinent.
am not enlarging upon this point. however. for
either horn of my dilemma is an unpleasant one. Al
the satisfaction get of the episode n the dis
comiture of Baron Munchauseu, whom i have Ions
suspected to be preVaricatOr of the first water.
Meanwhile if Jonah has any heirs. L wish they
would reveal themselves for I have q bin against his
estate for $672 for repairs 20 my office Sl60 for my
eght-day clock, 81 for quart ink and $50 for one
nights rent of Jumbo which I paid i'm advance
marked please Remit" Next Week, Mr. Holmes
Acts a. an Attorney for Solomon.
Copyright, 1903, by John Kendricz Bangs.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15
THE NATIONAL GUARD

The chief topic OF interest ia guard
circles this week has been the action
Of the legislature on the armory ques-
ton. Early IN the week the members
ot the committee on military affairs of
both houses visited the armOry and
were conducted through the building by
Generals Cannon and Burton and Major
Lund. They We're assisted by the Off
GERS OF the various companies now
quartered I'm the armory. The visitors
expressed their conviction chat the
building now occupied is unsafe, i'm
secure and I'm most every way undo
sirable for the purpose 10 is used for.
They also expressed themselves as ia
favor OF a new building.
IL Is evident. however. that the con-
slderation Of this question got no fur
Their than the appropriation committee,
and being opposed by interests c0usid-
cred more important. was reIegated 20
the rear for another two years.
This action Is naturally a disappOint-
ment to those interested i'm the welfare
Of the guard. and while the enthusiasm
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15
ACTIVE WORK ALREADY BEGUN.

Active development work has already
been started on the property under the
direction OF Superintendent Frank Ever
EFT, one of the most competent and reli-
able mining men i'm the state Of Nevada
and a pioneer of TOnOpah. who thorough
ly understands the formation Of the dis
trict.
Mr. Everett believes the Gold Mountain
section of T0nOpdh. where this property
IS situated, is a second Cripple Creek and
the richest portion of the TonOpah dis
trict. Many other competent miners agree
with him, and results are fast proving
it absolutely.
That the groupings on the Tonopah Gold
Belt Company's property prove the rich
ore bodies beneath is amply demonstrate
ed by the assay results of the following
samples, taken on the exposed surface
or the ledge now being worked.
only four assays are given herewith
but we have dozens more at the office
OF the company and we offer a reward
Of 500 10 anyone desiring 10 investigate
81 We fan 20 show him a good ledge on
this property, carrying the same high
values as any assay furnished him herein
az the office
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

velOp a property. no matter how rich il
may be. unless he has tried Proof Of this
difficulty encountered by prospectors is
the fact that some Of the most valuable
properties have been considered worth
less for years until they pass into the
hands of capitalists, Ike the present own
ers of the great MiZpah, and they begin
TO Yield up millions in gold Then every
body Is ready and willing 10 help when
help Is no longer needed.
Big cash offers have been refused for
this property for the reason that 10 only
requires machinery and development to
make 10 worth a million dollars more
than the offers received and the owners
decided TO give part of this benefit to the
general public by offering an opportunity
10 secure small interest in a legitimate
mine in the great TOnOpah district which
would be a safe investment for the saw
ings Of those Of small means.
To do this company has been incOr-
porated with some of the most reliable
men in the west at its head. and a limit
ed amount of the treasury stock was
placed on the market within the reach
OF small investors on monthly payments.
If desired, on the following terms:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15
THIS FABULOUSLY RICH DIS
TRlCT THE GREATEST
ON EARTH.
Poor PrOspeCtOrs Made Wealthy in d Day
Is the History of This "WOnder-
land" in Nevada.

bodies crop out Of the lava-covered sur
race OF the earth. all the subsequent
mines discovered were found after the
lava covering had been penetrated. some
on them 90 a depth Of several hundred
feet
or course this rich group was not the
only location they made by any means.
The others, however. were parted with
without much reluctance at q fair price
10 secure the neCCssaries OF life. These
claims, however. they concluded 20 hold
until the necessary capital could be Sc
cured 20 aid ia their development being
entirely satisfied to take their pay for
this valuable property out OF the profits
90 the rich ore bodies after their mineral
treasure had been subjected to develop
ment and dividends were declared
This property includes five claims OF
nearly l2o acres In all, and it is situated
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15
Monthly Pm Is

Each additional 100 shares $50 payable
either I'm cash or on the same terms s.
down and IS per month for nine months:
but this price will continue 10 advance
rapidly as development progresses. Ore
bodies OF this property will be yielding
up handsome and steady dividends TO ev-
cry stakeholder.
The stock Is absolutely worcestershire,
and the directors have exercised every
care for the protection OF small investors,
and this undoubtedly. offers the safest
and surest investment for small capital
In one of the best mines I'm the richest
mineral district I'm the world today.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15
7. N. c. A.

Al $3.50 p. M, Salt Lake theatre. address
by Fred b. Smith Of New York City. sec
rotary OF the religious work department
Of the International committee of Young
Mems Christian associations Music by
WetZels boy chorus of 300 voices Ad-
mission by ticket only. Tickets may be
had at the door. This meeting is for men
only. At S p. m. address by Mr.. Smith
az the same place Music by WetZells
boy chorus and double quartette from the
Orpheus club. Admission free to all No
tickets are required
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

One Of the most important matters for
persons TO consider Ga any investment IS
Are the men az the head of the COMPANY
honest reliable and responsible? For no
matter how rich a mine may be. II the
management is dishonest 10 Is always wise
to leave ID alone. I'm this connection read
ers Of this paper are assured that the Of
ticers Of the company are responsible men
OF unimpeachable honor and integrity.
ard all readers Of this paper who desire
10 stand IN with the original owners of
the development of this rich property are
advised 20 write at once for fun infOrma-
ton. including sworn statements. mans.
pictures and reports to Lincoln Invest
meut Co., financial agents, Market street
opposite Palace Hotel San Francisco.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

day school al 1918 p. m. Subject OF ser
mon. Moral Responsibility: Does 1t EX-
isJ?" by Rev. W. i'll. Fish jr. II. II. Nc
Corkle VIII render "a solo; Unity choir will
sing an anthem. A collection for the
American Unitarian society will be taken
up Meeting OF Unity Social club Mon
DAY evening at 1880 at room 50 Eagle
block; Unity Literary club meeting Tues
day evening at O'Clock I'm the same room.
noon with Mrs c. H. RaybOuld. CAB South
West Temple. There will be no meeting
Of the French club this week. Unity
choir meets for practice Friday evening
at s o'clock at room % Eagle block.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15
|TNQUEsTIONABLY Tho richest mil

I QUESTIONABLE the richest min
ing district on the face Of the earth
IS the great TOnOpah of Nevada,
which has beyond doubt contributed more
wealth 20 the present supply in the Unit
ga States than any other camp In the
world within the same short period. From
a bowling wilderness two years ago 10
has developed a thriving city Of 1900 pros
porous souls, and So is growing rapidly
every day.
Following tho world-famOus discovery
Of that matches MIzpah mine By the
poor but lucky proSpectOr James J.. But
Ter, who fairly leaped from the ranks of
the poor 90 a position OF wealth and pow
or almost lu "a day, come hundreds of
other rich strikes iu the same mineral
bed, each one of which contributes its
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

share % the happiness OF the world
OF the very first 10 follow DlscOVerer
Butler into the wilderness OF wealth now
known as Iouoplh, New, We're "a party Of
honest prOspeCt0rs. headed by George
Grms, who had the courage and endur-
auce 90 brave the discomi0rts and hard
ships or "a mining camp miles from a rail-
road and civilization.
Arriving on the ground early they. Of
course. had the choicest claims ln the
district % select from, and that they inn
proved the opportunity is evidenced bv
tho fact that they we're tho l0cat0rs OF
the only other group of claims in the dis
trlct yet discovered where the rich ore
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15
Cnres sciatie Rheumatism.

Mrs. A. E. Simpson. sos Craig St,
Knoxville, Tenn, writes, June 10, 1893:
Il have been trying the baths of Hot
Springs. Ark. for sciatic rheumatism.
but 1 get more relief from Billiards.
Snow Liniment than any medicine or
anything I have ever tried. Enclosed
find postofice order for S1-OO. Send me
a large bottle by Southern Express. 4"
Sold by z. c. NJ. I. drug department.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15
Unitarian.

First Unitarian Society.-Services held
in Odd Fellows hall. near new postof-
flee site, Market street, at II a. m: sun
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

Owing to the illness OF Lieutenant
Webb the battery nOn-com. school was
postponed. The season viii commence
next Saturday evening.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

and good work Of the organizations win
not diminish. the officials in charge are
again confronted with the problem OF
struggling to increase the efficiency
and effectiveness Of the guard against
the old diflculdes-lack of commodious
quarters and a good, safe, secure build
ing
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

z. c. NJ. I. Millinery Opening, Mon
day, Tuesday and Wednesday.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

Bank Of Commerce
Now located at 100 MIN street.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

is in a better condition now than ever
before. and this spirit of rivalry is
good sign of healthy activity.
"Non-com." school for company II
commences this week under the direc-
tiOn of Captain Williams.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

2s 9 e VI b Es56G n ys 7ysF
6 city
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15
sOleAgents

For DR.. Jaeger sanitary wool under
wear; also DR.. Deimel linen mesh.
BROWN, TERRY & WOODRUFF CO.,
166 Main Street.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15


In the face of the disappointment at
losing the armory, there is stiu cause
for satisfaction 20 be drawn from the
fact that the guard was allowed $4,000
for expenses. which was asked for. 1t
means many things, chief among them
being two encampments Of at least
eight days duration which news will
be received with JOY by the guard
throughout the state.
Lieutenant Smith Of the troop has
appointed Private Shaw acting quarter
master sergeant Of that organization.
Two new recruits in the persons Of
Frank L. Monkey and Ernest Holmes,
were enlisted during the week.
Vigorous efforts are being made by
an the local organizations to secure re-
crults. The guard, in spite Of obstacles,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-15

Copyright, 1903, by John Kendrick Bangs.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1903-05-28
EXKURSYA

.d alll ppossukkujacych grunta IA p6dfnoc.
n!yn zsaac,hlo,d1sie poludniowym a
=chodsie oraz TAME ceny ola koloni-
stow, koleja North Western. ~
:k lls E]zxkursyjjne pc znaczniie zsnizo-
'nnych cenach, 60 IA sp,rzedaz do Wy
zejj Observation-Disclosures. WACO
q, sypialne ola turyst6w wolne roz-
'klfaaadane krzesla, wagony j ,,wszyst-
sko .n1ajlepsze. 0 zupelniejsze szcze-
g6ly pytajcie sic agent6w kolei
Chicago g North Western.