The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-27
THE TALE OF A HABIT.
The Sac Plight of One Afflicted Wi
 Mental Dyspepsia.

Fro mthe New York Evening Post sor
 A Habit Reading Habit, sat glaring a pile of books and magazines He W. Ji weary of reading and he wanted some } thing to read He had mental dyspepsia but he needed food. All was wrong with everything. And when everything goes wrong, the everything of the tangibl, world, the eontagion spreads, and no ol E escapes. N
 What do you think of this?' he aske himself, picking up copy of The viole Opera Hat"
 "A book of unexceeded cleverness.," al publishers announcement inside eonh- dently and mcdestly admitted
 He muttered softly: That is why don't like it. I am tired of eleverness. tired of the reiterated admission in fore words notices, and reviews, as well as from the covers of magazines that books and stories are clever. Scintillating wit, excoriating epigram-e -epigram-epigram I have grown to dread bright sayings. The clever stories. the he-and-she tales, and those psychological vivisectons of female character, and the made photographic pie lures of men, have wearied me. l do not like tobaseo for soup; chutney for fish. flesh. and good red herring; olives eter- nally for vegetables; a salad that is all mustard; pickles for dessert. and Worces- tershire for my drink.
 'I am weary of literary spice served on picklellly. I long for bread and butter, books potatoes and beef books; even newspaper boiled dinner. Striving after cleverness has became literary disease. II rasps and fiddles on my nerves like a single sound monotonously repeated. The epigrams drip on my weakening brain like the spattering drops on the head of a Chi naman's victim. The epigramaphone-the epigramaphone,"
 He paused in wearness. Then he con tnued as he gazed on the smart blue and yellow cover. with symbolic design in red and gold. of "rhe Black Doormat' Q,000, GOO published before if was printed.@ for ten seconds the largest selling book of the week.; at the smart magenta and green cover of "The East Wind Ca magazine of scntllations); 4l3,00O copies printed this month, and at the smart camel drab and honey-yellow Autographed cover of the 'sWeekly- -Stitch-n-t e-Side'' (devoted to cleverness), a larger circulation than the combined circulation of all other publica- tions itself included: More epigrams, more cleverness; more smartness. more bubbles: more sparl1les; more predsested witticism; more waggery for yonng and old, and more humorous incisive phil 0l9enS Ge pieked G5 a up the '.sttch. ran through it hastily to see that all the servants. Mieks. Rubes. Dagoes. Jews. Hams and aerobatic Illustrations were present. and then he began to read: "Agraham John son, the well-known bootblack, at the corner of Wall street and Riverside drive. tells the following good story concerning President Roosevelt"
 There was the sound of tearing paper, and a pile of scraps found their way to the wastebasket. It was the stitch, price 10 cents. The Habit was angry for he muttered Does that man do nothing but put in his time performing tricks that are worth space rates? This is the six teenth- thousandth that l have read this week"
 'srhe Black Doormat was opened wear fly. Blue Mud was holding holiday. Three-Toed Charlie in a fit of abstraction, had taken a wife. It was Cling Stone Pete's wife, and that meant trouble. A crowd of men stood before the Yellow Hen saloon-
 The book crashed through the window and from the street there arose terrible shriek. The Habit turned pale. and in his excitement hurriedly took out note book and jotted down his name and ad- dress But evidently the blow has been sufficient for there was nothing but silence now. So the Habit resumed his thinking If we could only be taught not to be clever not to be bright. If we could only forget how to read. If I had Cadmus here I'd throttle him."
 And he picked up . publishers cata- logue the most readable of all literature. and was soon busy and happy marking off the books that he wished to buy.
 
 We make the Jest ( .S III town Aga