The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1903-08-04
WITTICISmS
Samples Of the American Ar
lists Repartee.
AN INCIDENT OF ELS CADET DAYS

y
an Offended Lnndlatiy's Good VIII
at Whose House Ie D~incd-Cae OF
His Deductions Which Was Unfa-
vorable to an Architect = Unique
Method of Criticfsing an Art Class.
Every one who knew the late James
MacNeill Whistler, the American artist,
bore witness to his brilliant if sarcastic
wit, says the Philadelphia Press. An
admirer once said to him fulsomely,
''Mr. Whistler, there are only two great
painters-yourself and Velasquez."
But" dra wled the gentle artist, why
drag in Velasquez?" He was never
disconnected by any compliment. A
lady spoke to him in enthusiastic terms
of the scenery along the Thames. 1.-THE
whole Journey" she bubbled, was like
a series OF your superb e%tchings."
''Ye-es.' vouchsafcd Mr.. Whistler. Ma
ture is creeping up" A young English
impressionist once invited him to look
at some of his work. OF one particu-
larly bad specimen the youthful artist
remarked:
"Oh, it is only a pot boiler. intended
to keep the wolf from the door,"
"Ah, l see!' retorted Whistler. Il
suppose you hang it outside the door,"
The story of the peacock room" is
famous.
Fretted by Il man whose room he was
decorating, he finished the decoration
by painting two peacocks, one with a
long lock over it's brow to represent
himself pecking at the other peacock.
While Whistler was at West Point
there was. in addition to regular cadet
mess, a private mess for twelve, OF
whom Whistler was one, at the house
of an army officers widow. says Chap
Book. One day the cadets conceived
the idea of having a little sport at the
landlady's expense. The first cadet who
came to the table said as he sat down:
Good morning. Mrs. -. There Is a
cat on the roof of your house." The
second cadet repeated the remark, ex-
cept that he varied it by saying, There
are two cats on the roof of your
house" Each cadet added a cat. until.
when Whistler. who was the last to ar
rive, sat down. he said gravely and
with much concern: "Good morning,
Mrs. -. There are twelve cats on the
roof Of your house."
During the next meal Whistler found
Under his napkin a billet notifying him
that his presence at the mess was no
longer required, Being, however. averse
to returning to the general mess, Whis-
tier hit upon a plan to regain the wild
ow's good will. After dinner he plant
ed himself in front of a portrait Of her
late lamented which hung in the par
lor and appeared lost in admiration Of
1t. When he heard the widow entering
he began d%escanting, as If to himself,
yet loud enough for her to hear, upon
the virtues of the deceased. winding
up with this eXclamation:
ITO think that West Point should
produce such a man and that we have
his portrait here to remind us of what
we ourselves may attain to" This
touched the widow so deeply that
Whistler was re~-established in her
good graces-and the mess.
IA OA1C AL "ASh y "oo :"
| guest at a dinner given by John Sar-
gent. the we'll known portrait painter,
he dined royalty and was very merry.
| says the Hartford Courant. After din
ner he asked Sargent if he might be
| excused while he wrote an important
note that had slipped his mind.
Certainly. certainly" replied Sar-
| gent. "You will find ink and writing
materials in the small room at the
head Of the stairs. Help yourself"
Thanks" said Whistler and disap-
peared. Presently the other guests
were startled by hearing a series of
bumps, ending in a heavy thud at the
foot Of the stairs. Whistler had trip
ped. lost his balance and fallen in a
heap. Sargent rushed out, picked him
up and anxiously asked If he was hurt.
"Hurt?" said Whistler, rubbing his
head. "Well I'm not dead. If that's
what you mean. But tell me-who built
those stairs?" Sargent mentioned the
name of a builder unknown to Whistler
or to fame.
.He did. did he?" said Whistler. 1.-THE
COMPOUNDED teetotaler"
Whistler was at work day in his
studio surrounded by a group of ad-
hiring students. says the New York
American. Mixing, studying and la
boring, he turned to the students sud-
denly and remarked:
ST suppose you know what l am try
ing to do?"
"Oh, yes," they rejoined.
"Well, it's more than I know my
SELF" he replied.
Once when forming a class he In
quired Of each pupil with whom he had
studied before.
with Julien" said one.