The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-12-15
THE NONPAREJL MAN

How by inadvertently WEIGHING the Fin
gers We Escaped the Terrible Ordeal
OF Being e-Winaed-Posterity De-
prived of the InestImabIe Boon of
ApoIo-IiI<e and Fragile Beauty Done
in mperishabie Ink.
Frank Wing, the artistic, came in the
other day and tried to take our picture.
Now if there is anything wearing on the
nerves 1T is to have little Keller with
talent sitting feminist you with paste
board and pencil, glancing from you to
the picture at every stroke of the pen and
then chucklng to himself in an inane and
underhanded way. 1t gives every indica-
ton that he~is going to take ones Apollo
like and fragile beauty do it despite and
SO make it look like a squash.
We were getting suspicious. Wing had
made us take a, position and promise not
to move for two hours. We We're frozen
marble. Suddenly the artist leaped to his
feet in great wrath. and. his eyes blazed
as he tore up his sketch and started to
leave exclaiming:
Here, you wiggled your fingers!'
Il never either.''
You did too. 1 saw you
Again it. was v,hemently denied but
Wing said he saw them move and so he
went off.
Posterity has been deprived of the in
estimable boon Of our birdlike and
evanescent beauty done in ink and signed
with stepladder
Jack London's new book. 1.-The Cry Of
the Wild will be appreciated by those
papers whom said cry has dragged out Of
bed at 2:10 a. m, to get the babys cat
lap warmed up.
i'What Happened to Jones?" He was
touched by the Santa Claus game.
If there ever should be a war with
Germany some strong man would have to
hold our army.
When ten feet of SNOW on a level falls,
the man with the corner lot looks over the
place where about 800 feet Of sidewalk lie
buried and makes some small song about
the dispersal of Providence.
Our Peerless Leader is doing gay Paree.
We never think of Paree without being
glad we accumulated a bald spot before
going there.
Somebody tried to sell us a $4,000 coun-
try newspaper the other day. We simply
looked at him. Twenty thousand dollarsi
What do you think of that?
Entomologists say that the boil weevn
|
! terially jump twenty yards. We have
met insects who ella lined to do a similar
stunt and we never cared much for their
company.
! New Orleans wanted the republican ma
tional convention. So did International
Falls, Mimi.
Have you secured fathers opinion Of
| Christmas yet?
- Doc Bixby says that scolding is one Of
the fruitful causes of human misery. It
is evident that Doc has been touched by
his family for Christmas, has put UP a
..holler'' and is now ashamed Of it. Speak
ing of his troubles in his daily column
/ Doc found comfort in Psalm XX1viii:6-S:
/ I am troubled: l am bowed down greatly:
so mourning ell the day long. 1 am feeble and
sore broken; have roared by reason of dis9uet-
ness Of ny heart.
The argument is that if David roared
when things didn't go quite to his mind,
then the ordinary man has some excuse
for the rather mild modern roar that he
sometimes lifts up. We are inclined to
question this on the ground that the old
dispensation has passed. 5.-
Another prophet Elijah has showed
up, this one at Tar Ridge, KY. Elijah
this time is a. lady, Miss Adelaide Slut
ton This makes two reincarnated Eli
: jahs and three Johns the Baptist, all do
l ing business earth at the same time.
These prophets ought to hold q national
> convention and shake for it. Miss Elijah
Sutton gets her picture in the Cincinnati
=, papers, and is said to possess marvellous
: power" We notice by the picture that
she wears glasses. If we possessed mar
| velous power we would take 'em off,
There is always something wrong about
pc pile who possess marvellous power"
never did care much for people who wear
| glasses, anyhow.
} The Litchville, n. D., Bulletin, which
Is making up a family album of Litch-
. vile celebrities, prints this week the pic.
!, ture of Joe Bellanger. Mr.. Bellanger runs
the Northern Pacific road in and out Of
Litchville and pushes its lightning along
Q the wires. Between times he sells tick
. cts, bills wheat, collects freight, express
and telegraph tolls. feeds a large and
capacious stove with Ignite coal, carries
ashes, rubs critical public the right way
and keeps a neglected people friendly
. with a soulless railroad corporation II
,, the train gets off the track he lifts it
? back on. cusses the engineer and wires
. | the division superintendent. "off again,
r. on again. Bellanger." When the boys
| tip the depot over on the Fourth Of July,
> Mr.. Bellanger has to make good out of
=
: sponsible one, but everybody likes him
Y despite the high price of railroad" tickets.
g Complaint is made in Nebraska that
h the poets Of to-day are too fat and COM
q Portable to do good work. Well, there
are Messrs. Burton, Beach and Epson.
we'll known locally, who do not show evil
e dences of overnutrition but they do ap-
d pear to be a little too well dressed and
too well housed. If they could lose their
it jobs, be Gagged in a garnet and have their
n best girls go back on them a few times
e they might throw off a few feet of the
N divine afflatus that would go laundering
down the ages. Now, when they are hun
cry, instead of throwing it into the form
1t Of poetry, they so and get square meal
,r somewhere and pay for it with good
e. solid cash. Such conditions as these are
Is ruinous on inspiration.
,r 1t is a great problem that confronts
G. us to-day. viz, how 4shall we keep our
lie poets hard UP and miserable so as to
Re get a little affatus out of em?
l. "A. J. r.