Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1903-10-30

the tide doomed. sawed, split and piled for the
perusal and pastime of those who have enough
nerve to read it,
When one is in the soup it is always
the wrong kind.
Man always sighs for change when
he is out Of money.
Can a dead wagon be properly called
a" delivery" wagon, without insulting
the undertaken
1t fails now and then, even on a
cloudy day, to rain upon either the
just or the unjust.
When a man makes up his mind to
be martyr all the powers on earth
can not prevent him.
1t seems that only the most daring
of the cranks can hope to get a chair
in the Chicago University.
A white man is all right in his place.
So is a nigger and they should know
enough-the educated ones-to keep
it.
Man is a fox. He sets in with q
confession that he is vile sinner 80
that he may be able to explain away
his wickedness if he is caught.
Charles Lamb divided the world
into two classes-the lenders and the
borrowers. The first he described a.
morose and miserable; the latter as
extravagant, gay and happy.
Heaven pity the poor, misguided,
frizzle.topped, love.slashed old maid |!
Talk about horses with collie and pigs
with cholera, but love.sick old maid
is the sickest thing that 1 ever saw.
w. A. Wash is the name of the edi.
tor and proprietor of tho Polk county
Itemiser. published in Dallas, Ogn.,
every Friday morning at 7 80. He
ought to get out a clean sheet; but
isn't it early?
Love is disease that leaps on to
every person as much as once in life,
and, unlike measles, it sometime es
hits the same person as much as four
times before they have the second set
Of false teeth.
"We are here to-day. and gone To-
morrow" is an old adaee, and We
think of it about right. Still, when
we get back six months later some Of
our best friends want TO know where
we've been for the last two weeks.
That minister who caused such a
sensation in Cheney, left his family
and started for Seattle, only added
another unpardonable sin to his soul
when he started for Seattle-Seattle is
not hell, simply because . preacher in
Everett said 90.
The negro race should be colonized
and all negroes be placed in one ter
ritory. This will be the outcome in
the future anyway. and the sooner its
accomplished quicker will the race
question be settled, to . good extent.
If Lincoln could have lived, we believe
this is what he would have done.
A man tried to commit suicide in
Seattle by cutting his throat with .
piece OF tin. We did not think there
was . piece of tin in Seattle large
enough for the purpose. We know
there is plenty Of "lsad" used in Sc.
attle-the "lead pipe cinch" you
know-and think the reporter made q
mistake by using the word tin" foz
lead"
Father Callahan, of Denver. is short
in his accounts, a. the finxucier of his
parish to the tune of $4,000. The
reverend priest invested in mining
stocks, but they deprecated and he
kept investing until the $50, 900 has
been lost. It seems that gambling is
liked, as pastime Of course. even by
priests as we'll as tho gambler himself.
But, still, what 10 life but game OF
cardsi
When breath of scandal touches
the garment of friend it is your duty
to believe that friend innocent until
his guilt is established. A friendship
that will not wear through adversely is
worth little in the days OF prosperity.
Life would be sweeter and better if
friend would trust friend. The scan.
dal-monger can tear down in one day
what it has taken years of patient
labor to build up.
Have you noticed that a great many
people are getting divorced from
church weddingsf There is . great
deal of expense, fuss and feathers and
om-foolery attached to church we'd
dings which can be avoided BY marry.
ing at home. OF course the preacher
or justice Of the peace must be paid,
but what you save in display is big
item to parents in moderate circum-
stances, who are put to all kinds OF
straits 10 give their daughters send
off in the church.
A story comes from West Virginia
about q trained mosquito which warned
it, owner by puncturing his epidermis
when he was about to be suifocated by
escaping gas. But we do not look to
see trained mosquitoes become popu-
lar. Mosquitoes have been found