Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1903-12-17

"Does your daughters husband love
her as devoteily as everp "He does
when I'm around" replied her daugh.
ters husbands mother-ln-law, grlmly,
Houston Post.
Fond Mother-My darling. II Is bed.
time All the little chickens have gone
to bed. Little Phllosopher--Yes, nam.
ma, and 50 has the old hen.--woman's
Home Companion,
"Dis world amt square," growlcd
little Mickey. "Why noty" asked jim.
my, Cause the only ones dat get
free peanuts are elephants and police
men. Chicago News.
Anxious Mother>-winle, dear, do you
ever have any trouble with the other
little boys at scaoolI Willie-Nawl
lick one Of 'em every once In WHILE
but that amt the least bit Of trouble
Chicago Tribune
Mrs A.-Your husband smoking
againl Why, thought you insisted
that he should give 1t up, Mrs, Z.--I
did, dear, but then found such pref.
" smoking-jacket at bargain sale
Chicago Dapy News,
Helping AfS Wife: wlte-I have
been thinking ought to give you
birthday present Howard, Husband
oh, very well, Just write down what
It shall be, and III buy 1t on my way
uptewn,-rown Topics.
Friend-New that you have made
millions, what win yOu doG Old Bull
liOn-I shall retire, and amuse myself
telling pepople what a burden wealth
Is. and how happy was when was
p0or.-New York Weekly.
After the Wedding; "But they told
me you had money" "And they bun.
coed ME into thinking you were rich"
Wei, what's TO be done about lt?"
Let's fall In love just for splte,"-Cin.
clnnatl Commercial Tribune.
do you believe that the American
people like TO be humbuggedI" NO,
sir" answered the sturdy patriot,
but when they find anyone smart
enough to do It they can't help takin'
of their hats, TO hlm."-Washington
Star.
Beyond Expectation: Mr., Jones-See
here! This horse you sold me runs up
on the sidewalk every time he secs an
auto. Horse Dealer-Wel, you" don't
expect a lfty-dollar horse to run up a
telegraph POE or climb tree, do your
Judge
Girl in the Grand Stand--lsn't that
a cruel gamer Do you think It's fair
for a dozen men TO pile themselves on
top Of the poor fellow that has the
balll Her Escort-No; there oughtn't
to be more than eleven Of them, any
way.-Chicago Tribune.
Information: Hello" said the
neighborly bore, what are you build
ing the new chicken house for2"
"why," replied Nettles, "fOr flock Of
pink carmels, Of course. You didn't
suppose I'd put chickens in 1t. did
youT-PhiladelphIa Public Ledger
Weren't you nervous at the we'd
ding" asked the sympathetic chap,
with all those people looking at you"
II nervous?" repeated the recent bene-
dict. "why should be nervous? No
body looked at me; was only the |
groom, you know."-ClncInnati Times
Star.
In Kentucky: Ascum-I don't know |
whether your head over the article |
about Colonel Lushman's death was |
printed the way you intended, but 1t
was a good one. City Editor-Let me
sea What was It? Ascum-Has
fought his last bottle.-Phlladelph
Press.
Citiman-What's the matter with all
you Lonesomehunters? Newcomb's a
decent sort of a fellow, and yet you all
appear to hate him. Suburbs-Nc won
der! He went and bought his wife
sealskin coat last week, and our homes
are no longer peaceful.-PhIladelphIa
Press.
Mamma, what is Topsy's other
"Topsy in the play? don't
know, dear; just Topsy, that's ALL"
"Oh, she has another name. heard
papa speak 1t yesterday, but can't
think of 1t now. Oh, yes, remember
its Topsy Turvey!'-Kansas City
Journal
How did you like DR.. Fourthly
last Sunday morning?' asked Mrs Old
castle; don't you think he INDUCED
rather freely In mixed metaphorT
"Goodness! l didn't notice. Did he
have 1t right there In the pulpit? This
will be terrible blow to Josiah He
thinks so much Of the doctor. Chi.
caSo Record Herald
The Rule Of Three: zone week from
to-day, Uncle John, will be married
man. Yes, in seven short days | will
be initiated into the mysteries of mat
mo mysteries about It, my
boy. 1t is just the plain, simple rule
Of three" Rule Of three? Eh-what
three" "Wife, mother-ln-law, and
hired girl."-Kansas City Journal.
'How's your mother?' asked the
nai1hbOr "NVorried to dpath" an