Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-12-04
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the bottom.-Chicago Daily News.
Mrs. Kidlett-John, why do you al
ways call our boy "coffeeT Mr.. Kid
lett-'Cause he keeps us awake nights.
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
uggestive.-Knicker-W it an up
to-date wedding? Knocker-Yes. in
deed; they threw breakfast food in
stead Of rice.-New York Herald.
An absorbing narrative: First Phil
adelphian-How is that book? Excit-
ing? Second Philadelphian-Why 1
sat up all day reading it!-Town Top
les.
At the seaside: Clerk-That back
piazza is pretty shaky. 1t may break
down some night. Proprietor-Must
it be rebuilt? Clerk-Oh, no; light II
uptown Topics.
At the photographers: Have the
pleasant expression you need?" (Voice
from under the cloth)-Perfectly, sir"
Then let her so quick, governor; 1t
hurts my face."-Life.
lodging house)-Say, there amt no bell
in my room. Clerk-Dat'n be all right,
mister. Ii youse want anything wiring
de towel. See?-Chicago News.
As defined: Say, mamma" queried
liStlo Mary Ellen, whats dead let
ter?' ANY letter that is given to
your father to mail, my dear" replied
the wise mother.-Chicago News.
Employer-Yes, 1 advertised for a
strong boy. Think you will fill the
bill? Applicant-Well, just finished
nckin' nineteen other applicants out
in de hall.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Ruling Power.-The Peddler-I
want to see the mistress Of the house.
The Master-Do you? Then step
around to the kitchen door and ask
for the cook.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Sunday School Teacher-How many
commandments are there, Willie? Will
lie-Ten "And suppose you were to
break one of themT" "Then there'd
only be nine."-Philadelph Bulletin.
Sincerity: zone O. de sad things
bout dis life," said Uncle Eden, "is
dat it's 80 much easier to depend on
de enmity Of yoh enemies dan on de
friendship of yoh friends. ."-Washing-
, ton Star.
Lacked experience: Mamma-Don't
let me catch you in lie again, you
naughty boy! JOHNNY won't IL 1
can help it; but / haven't had the ex-
perience that pa has had.-Boston
Transcript.
"I'm glad to see that you respect
your parents, Elmer" said the minis
> ter. 1--WE just got to do It," replied
!. the little fellow. why, either one Of
l them could lick me with one hand."-
Chicago News.
First Explorer-We must hurry
;, back. Second Explorer-But the
: North Pole IL ours If we keep on.
!, First Explorer-But If we don't get
- back now, we'll be too late for the lee
ture season.-Life.
Had won her: The chronic bachelor
finally turned to the quiet man, who
had taken no part In the discussion
e would you, SIR" he said, marry the
n best woman in the worldT II did,
= was the reply.-Judge.
s Young Wife-What do you do when
e your husband gets cross and wants to
scold? Wife with experienced read
l. him one or two of the letters he used
o to write to me before we were mar
e ried.-Baltimore American.
n Bigby-Tm saving up money to &C
to Europe. Higby-Indeed! How are
q you getting on? Bigby-Fine! I've al
ready got together enough for th'
?, tips. and as soon as l can scare uI
travelling expenses I'm off.-ChicagC
Daily News.
Not aJoke.-Giles-Take two letters
from money" and one is left. Milei
A. is that joke? "Yes, verify" "Well
j. I know of a fellow who took none.
v from two letters" That's a goo,
oil Joke" mot it; he got twelve months!
ID Spare Moments.
is Patsy-Mom, won't yer gimme m
candy. now? Mrs. Casey-Didn't o
% tell ye OF wouldn't give ye amy at al
IN II ye didn't kape still? Patsy-Yes'm
10 but Mrs. Casey-Well, the longe
It. ye kape still the sooner yen get it,
@, Philadelphia Press.
Id 81 reckon you won't believe It," re
III marked Farmer Hayrix, "but that oil
is rooster what jist crowd is moren 2
b. years old" "Oh, believe 1t all rlgh
enough" replied the summer boardel
"and l am also willing to believe tina
the old hen we had for dinner was hi