Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-04-11

| a bargain: cot talking machine
at home?" Yes" what cid you
pay for it," Nothing Married it,
Tit-Bits.
Prhaps it takes several larks to make
a summer, but it doesn't take many
swallows to bring fall-Cornell
Widow.
Too Much Breakage.- The Maid
Shall dust the bric-a-brac. mum? The
MistreSs-Not to-day, Nora don't
think we can afford Pick-Me-Up.
Yeast-Wel. he has something now
he can't control. Crimsonbeak-Gr
cious. Has he bought an automobile or
been getting married Yonkers States
man
Fudge-Yes. all of Browns hopes
went up in smoke, Ell: Fudee-Yes;
his hopes were that his coal supply
would hold out until summer.-Balti-
more Herald
Advice to the Widow Widow tear
fulyl-'Nes, my daughters are now
my only resources. Friend Take my
advice and husband your resources
well. Princeton Tiger.
WHAT'S the difference between tile
Tramps' Protective Association and Il
golf iendy' "Well?" why. one links
the jramps, and the other tramps The
links. Princeton Tiger
Teacher-Bessie. name one bird that
! fp - .
Teacher-Dick? what sort Of a bird
| is that? Little Bessia-Our canary-the
cat eXtinctcd himl-Puck.
Miss Sentty Mental-The man l mar
~ must be brave as a lion; one whom
nothing could swerve from his course.
Her SuitoI-YcS. but can't afford an
auto,-Chicago Daily News
Where it really did hurt Tommy
Did paw say it hurt him worse than it
did youE Johnny-Nope; but it did. cuz
while he WIZ whalin' me | stepped on
his co3n.-Indianapolis Sun.
Teacher-Johnnie, this is the worst
composition in the class, and I'm going
to write to your father ana tell him
Johmie-Don't keer if We do; he wrote
II fol me.-petroit Free Press.
Wasn't even a real one: Uncle drot-
ting Harry on his kncc-Do you like
this, my boy? Harry Pretty well; but
rode ON real donkey the other day
at the Hoo.-iarvard Lampoon
"our new cook is treasure" Does
she make choice dishos?" No: but she
can drop tin pan so it sounds exact
ly as if she were breaking out best cut
glass bowl indianapolis Journal.
Judging from what he says. he
DOESN'T believe in a college education. "
''Why, | nevr heard him declare against
it, "Oh! no, but what he says is al
ways ungrammatical. - Philadelphia
Press.
on the Train Tourist think. sir
you had better close the window on
your side. There is such a draught
your mother-in-law may catch cold.
Traveller (smiling--I know that.-Paris
Figaro.
Miss Passe (coy)-Now. do you think
| look my age? Capt. Candor-I don't
know what your age is. Miss Passe
| (coyer)-Twenty-sevcn. Capt. Candor
No; you certainly don't look it.-Bos-
ton Globe.
Husband drritably)-It isn't a year
since you said you believed our mar
riage was made in heaven, and yet
~ nrTar I a
anybody. Wife calmly Is
heavens first law-New York Week
~.
1t never pays to hurt peoples feel
ings," remarked the Humane Chap
"Oh. I don't know" replied the Wise
Guy; friend Of mine makes pretty
good living at it," "Who is he?" "A
dentist ''--Cincin1ati Commercial Trib.
une.
Internal evidence: Grandpa Yes, it's
good thing for boy to travel Fred
dy. 1t develops him If he has any
thing in him, travel will bring if out
Freddy (who is precocious)--Yes dis
covered that when | was crossing the
Channel. Bits
Am to understand that you werc
discharged from the army for a mere
breach of etiquctte"' quericd the inter
csted friend Yes, Sir" boldly assert
ed Colonel BIuphcr. What was itf'
Turning my back to the enemy
Philadelphia Record.
Soothing Rchectlons.-Yea They
say babies are never scasjck Grim
sonbeak Wei. that accounts for some
thing. Yeast What's that? Crimson
beak When ! was crossing last sum
mer, / saw q man as sick as he could
he, singing Backward turn back,
ward o Time ia your fight. make me
child again, just for tonight. "--Yon-
kers Statesman.
Il want half a pound Of water crack
ers," said Mrs Newcome ALFRED
sorry. ma'am,' replied the country
storekeeper. but ! amt got but two
dozen OF EN- ia the place We'll
III take them" Jest wait ten. TWEEN.
ty minutes iii paterc an Toah CIo