Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1903-05-29

WHAT'S THE WORLD COMM tor
where. Little pictures of men in short
pants and nothin' else to speak of
goln through all sorts of contortionin's
with ropes and sticks and things,
a-turnin' of themselves into perfect
men. And Jonathan. with the corn
goin' to ruin. ready to stack and no.
body TO stack it, standin' on one foot,
his hand high on the wall. raisin' his
weight on the tiptoe of the other
eight times in succession. accordin to
instructions printed large and stuck
on the wall. a-dstigurin' of the wall
paper; then changin' back to the other
foot ag'in: graspin bar with hands
about sixteen inches apart, accordn'
to instructions, slowly bringin' the
bars nears possible to the floor, bend
in the body to the hips and tensin' all
the muscles when he riz ag'in to
standin' position and flung that there
old bar into the air.
"All to slow music, he said it oughter
be done, grievin' sort of over not hay
in the music, till got to kind of feel
in that I'd oughter quit my dish.
washin' and hire piano and learn to
play somethin' or other for him to
handle them bars by. old as am"
There was silence for space.
when he want dom nothin else"
she resumed then, "he was breathin'.
Breathin'! SO was |, but | was hard
at work scrubbn' or sweepin' or wash
in clo'es or dustin at the same time.
whats the world comm to, I'd like
to KNOW" she shifted, when people
take to stoppin' work to breathe?
Things got from bad to worse.
First | knew here come big packages
from New York what Jonathan opened
with a Ratchet and grins and didn't
lack much of meetin' at the back of his
head. In one of 'em was rowin' ma
chine. He set the thing on the floor
and commenced pretendin' to row
'ame's if he'd bin on the river. me
'tandin' by, 'mazed, watchin' of him.
Splendid exerciser pants he.
Splendid exercise for developin' of the
muscles and maxim of the perfect
nan.
Jonathan | ventures one day
Vhen he was rowin' fit to kill and the
un outside burnin' the wheat fields to
crisp, don't you think 'twould be
est every bit and grain as good exer-
Use to git on the thrashin' machine
nd thrash away at that there wheat
while? It's goin to the dogs adds,
lctually goin' to the dogs for little
andin'! And | could "a cried, thinkin,
'em.
Yes, ma, answers he, lookin' up
right and snilin'-there amt no more
miabie lad Twin than my Jonathan
will by and by
But thawas all there was to if
e kept right on with the rowin' till
lie wheat crop was past savin' and
)ne.
There was another thing that wor-
ed me. l amt, to say, overparticuiar
out the way people dress, but the
ay Jonathan took to goin' bout in his
ithln' suit from dawn to shutdown
IS he could be good and ready to
lmb creased pole at a minit's no.
re or tie himself in double bowknot
III wrench himself apart ag'in, lest
'aped Dein' scandalous. That's what
did! 1t was all right in his room
lth the door shet, but he got ca
5orbed in his physical cultcher he
In t seem to care no more bout how
looked anywhere. /
Ihere was Ann Livingston She i
me over to make me little visit ono II
y settin' awhile in the dinin' room H
lere the breeze blows cool throuoh III
"ihder. and what should Jonathan II
Out pass along the hall in that suit II
hlsn, lookin' for his dumbbells Ann Il
that shocked she left Immediate q
Il nara as she could tear over 70 500
Il Johnstons wife to tell her about .,
ana the next time l went to the 81.
'ie III the basement of the church -
rypody SHE'D off from me same,s If LII
.
had the plague. i'd
mere want no improvement IN th
alnan as time went on. If | como th
'nu asked MIN to chop a little of the E.
~ what was risin' high as the roof m
ne WOOD shed found him cavortin' he
nd over the carpet like some forr
'eo sahlmal dom his exercises or i,
I'M himself wrong side out and all 'e'
stahuln on his head or takin, 9e
''hs' a-holdin' Of his mouth shet 50 l ~,
at a time, keepin' 'em in, you'd III
lhought to look as him he'd bust ,e'
aii'iaDle' as said. He'd right n.i
ser ana smile and say, Yes, 1 will. SUI
out the pile of wood never got no a.,
iier that | or anybody else could OH
NOT by the eighth of an inch.
men one mornin | found lettor -, POI
Laoie rull of little pictures of men II
ie same sort of bathin' suits what a.
tliah wore in every position under VI
sun eNceptln' the position men 90. pee
"iien tiley NOW hay or chop wood VI
ood sheds, and it was from DIV, ing
'ht broke on me. or
ohathan' says |, sharplike, be this cas- ca
Jung woman teacher you've bin ne
your physical cultcher lessons WI
all this timer wal