The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-11-02
Q. HOPE JONES.
He Lectures on the Lamentable Eff
fects of Hard Cider.

Citizens of Locust Valley: I reached
this charming and picturesque little
town on foot some time after midnight
last night, and there was no committee
to extend the glad hand and no band to
toot a welcome. 1t even took me half
an hour to arouse the landlord of your
somewhat somnolent hosiery and con-
vince him that my cash capital was
equal to a humble bed and two or three
following meals. l bear no malice. how
ever, and If my sensitive feelings were
hurt at the moment, they have been
soothed since by the uniform good Will
evinced by all classes of citizens toward
me.
II am here among you to speak on a
matter closely concerning your physical
and moral welfare. 1 may say that it
concerns your present happiness and
your future state of bliss. am no tenn
perance fanatic, who would burst in all
The Coors of all the breWerieS and smash
the doors Cf Ell the saloons, but
have few words to say to you about
{ - = .----s-s l14'-4-41 IL particular.
III is not Old Crow whisky which
has slain its hundreds of thousands and
caused the knees of millions more to
wobble: it is not the brandy which
leaves a thirst three feet long down
the neck behind it: it is not that brand
of lager beer which causes brother to
strike brother and sister to pull sisters
hair 1t is that sleek. sly, artful and in
vidious beverage known as hard cider.
You will be surprised, as others have
BEEN to hear that it biteth like a SER
pent. and stingeth like an adder, but
wait until you hear what have 10
say.
Let me draw you an everyday pic
ture-a picture to be met with at thou
sands of hresideS every evening in the
week, and 1 trust that some few of you
at least will be affected to tears. If SO,
I shall be somewhat consoled as an off
set to the fact that the receipts of the
house this evening are only 40 cents in
cash.
1.-The farmers toll for the day is DER
His beasts of burden have gone to their
feed and rest and he has finished his
suppa< and sat down to look over the
family almanac and see when the next
full moon is due. His wife takes up
her knitting, his son retires to the gar
ret to scrape the fiddle, and the cat
stretches out on the heart-rug and is
glad that she is still alive. 1t is
quiet. peaceful scene, and the most
cold blooded villain could not look
upon it without remembering the
mother who used to pat him on the
head and predict that he would some
day be a preacher.
Suddenly the gray-haired farmer,
who has seen -ifty years come and go,
begins to hitch around as if he had
absently sat down on hornests nest.
He drops the almanac; he becomes
careless as to the new mooni thirst
begins to rise uo from his toes and
make his ears Jingle. His good wife
gives him q glance of reproach. and
he hesitates for five minutes longer.
Then he rises uo and remarks that he
Will step down cellar for a minute to
see # the potato bugs are comfortable.
and he passes out of the room. ests
sfour-quart pitcher from the kitchen,
and IS soon kneeling before the barrel
of hard cider down cellar.
tAlaSi we all know what follows. The
spigot is turned the Satanic drink
guTgles out. and the trimming pitcher
lis carried upstairs and its contents