davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13

~ a -. o -s
Dsstr~se s6 l,efs manAsA n1So...
+ II have struck all kinds OF basbsrs IN
.my trips about the country said ne
man. wno travels, 'sbut the one kind
that S3ways makes me feel aA II was
balanced on the very brink OF eternity
- the 1oft handed barber. have been
shavsd by several Of their class. They
AAyS been good BARRIERS, too every one
q them. but no matter how well they
knew their business they always gave
Mea had turn, and every time they
drew the razor across my face I felt as
II hfe ana I were about ready to part
company. OF course II IS foolish. but
nowadays when I nnd myself assigned
to left handed barber leave the shop
on some prctcxt or other and 10 else
where 30 be beautined. Other men
whom 1 have sounded on the subject
have confessed to the same weakness.
and women have told me that they
have q like unexpiainabie dread Of left
handed hardressers. In the dfessmak.
Ing business, too I am told, a left hand.
cd cutter and litter 10 pretty sure to
give the customer a crop OF goose nesh.
while even harmless occupatfo Ike
manicurins can always he relied on to
produce real shivers II pursued BY a
person whose eleverncss lies in her left
hand.~
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13

1t was said Of Barry, the player, that
he had voice which might lure bird
from tree and at the same time m
address and manner the most prepos-
sessing and conciliating. The Dublin
theater Of which he was proprietor
failed, and he was considerably indebt-
ed to his actors, musicians, etc. Among
others, the master carpenter called at
Barry's house and was cIamorous in
demanding his money. Barry, who was
Ill Mt the time, came to the head Of the
stairs and asked what was the matter.
Matter enoughr' replied the carpen-
ter. II want my money and can't get
it!'
Don't be In n passion" said Barry.
"DO me the favor to walk upstairs, IL
you please, and we will speak upon the
business"
mot I, Mr.. Barryr' said the carpen-
ter. "You owe me f1OO already, ana
If come up you will owe me f2OO be-
fore leave you"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
The Beaver.


The beaver Is really q sort Of porta-
bic pulp mill, grinding up almost any
kind Of wood that comes his way, says
4 writer. once measured a white
birch tree twenty-five inches through
cut down by a beaver. A single bea-
yer generally, II not always, amputates
the tree, and when 1t comes down the
whole family fall to and have n regu-
lar frolic with the bark and branches.
A big beaver will bring down q fair
sized sapling-say three inches through
I'm about two minutes and q large
tree In about an hour. The ability of
a beaver to remain under water for n
long time Is not really 80 tough a prob
lem as It looks. When the lake or
pond is frozen over. a beaver will come
to the under surface of the ice and ex-
pei his breath 50 that 1t will form n
wide, nat bubble. The mir, coming in
contact with the ice and water, ia puri-
ned, and the beaver brcathes It again.
This operation he can repeat several
times. The otter and muskrat do the
same thing.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
A IsisA Aefrieerater.

An Irishwoman was looking ut refng.
orators In house furnishing store some
weeks ago. After examining into the
merits and qualities of a number of
them she purchased the one that the
salesman assured her would keep food
the best. Some days afterward the
woman called and requested them to
take that refrigerator back, as It would
not keep anything better than the
Kitchen safe Of the cellar. The sales
man mildly suggested that possibly she
had not put enough Ice In 1t to keep the
things cold. Enough ice I'm It? Why,
are you crazy, mon? I don't put any
Ice In 1t. Anything will keep cold If
you put ice in It. bought the refrig-
orator 90 that wouldn't need the ice"
-Philadelphia ledger.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
STRENUOUS HOCKEY.

When We used to play at shinney.
In the days OF long ago.
now and then some b!sckened bruises
Ch our shins we'd have to show.
There was danger I'm tho pastime.
We were ready to admit.
FOR where shinney sticks were whirlinr
There was risk OF getting hit.
but the old time sport OF shinney
Was very harmless game
Nhen compared with It's successor
Which has hockey" for its name.
For the players I'm the latter
Often drop all thoughts of fun
And are swift In making bruises .
SO that triumph may be won.
There's but little risk OF damare
10 the hockey players shins,
For each fellow is protected
On that portion OF his pins.
But when mixing In n scrimmage
Where the little puck has sped
OF hockey stick Is falling
On some unprotected head.
OFT Is played the trick of tripping
When rival tries to pass.
And at times they are all tumblinR
On the ice in struggling mass.
Some are subjects for the surgeons
Ere the ending OF the game
Ana quite lucky Is the player
who Is neither bruised nor lame.
Football hustlers look in wonder
AT the rough house" on the ice;
husky pugilists are saying
They'd not play at any price.
All admit that they're mot in Il"
AS to scrimmaEes or fights
Nhen they once behold Il mixup
Of the doughty hockeyites.
-Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
HcredIty.

They were looking nfrectionatcly at
their firstborn in his crib.
isn't he dear?" asked Mrs. Subur.
On softly. "But why do you suppose
he insists on sleeping with his precious
little hands stretched so far above his
head, James?"
That,' replied Mr.. Suburba thought
fully, zig easily explained. He comes
OF long line of street car strnppers."
But Mrs. Suburba refused to see the
joke, because she always gets n seat
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
COVERED DISHES,
The Reason They Were Introduced
Daring the Middle Ages.

Daring the Middle Ages.
From the days when our ancestors
took their food In their hands and ate
II with rs little ceremony as n dog
gnaws bone to the present time of
elaborate dinners is n long step, but a
gradual one. 1t was n number Of cen.
turtles before dishes Of any kind were
used. and knives and forks as adjuncts
to eating are later still. The fear of
poison which haunted the mind of
every person OF quality during the mid
die ages gave rise to certain curious
customs and even to certain supersti-
tons. When dishes are now served
covered, 1t Is understood that 1t Is
merely for the purpose Of keeping them
warm. This was not, however, the
principal reason why they were not
served covered during the dark nges.
1t was the fear that poison might be
introduced into them surreptitiously
between the kitchen and the table
where they were to be served to the
kings or the lords or even to persons
of inferior rank.
The covers were not removed till the
master OF tho house had taken his
place. All dishes afterward served
were brought on the table in the same
manner. 1t was the custom originally
when the dishes were uncovered for
some Of the servants to first partake
Of them. but this custom was after
ward In part replaced by the servants
touching the food with one Of several
objects which were regarded as infalll-
bic preservatives against poison.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
FAITHFUL DAD.
Asre's - re1p Tsa'vs Get Ysur
raUlts, b1e You're An RixAt.

8ere's - reap TSa'vs Get YsuP
Fa1lts, Bee You're An Right.
We happened In a home the other
night and over the parlor door saw tho
legend worked In letters Of red, What
10 Homo Without Motherr' Across
the room was another brief, God Bless
Our Homer
Now, what's the matter with God
Bless Our DadT He gets up early,
lights the fire, boils IN egg, grabs his
dinner pail and wipes OF the dew of
the dawn with his boots while many a
mother ID sleeping. lie makes the
weekly handout for the butcher, the
grocer, the milkman and baker, and
his little pile In badly worn before he
has been home an hour. He stands OF
the baflin and keeps the rent paid ND.
? II there II noise during the night,
dad II kicked In the back and made to
30 downstairs to find the burglar and
XIII him. Mother darns the socks, but
dad bought the socks In the first place
and the needles and the yarn after
ward. Mother does up the fruit; well,
dad bought 1t all, and jars and sugar
cost like the mischief.
~ ooyO SHiSAehb AOr tne SUNDAY
dinner. carves them himself and draws
the neck from the ruins after every
one else Is served. What Is home
without a motherr' Yes, that Is all
right, but what Is home without a ia
ther1 Ten chances to one 1t Il a board
Ing house, father Is under a slab and
the iandlady is a widow. Dad, here's
to you! You've got your faults-you
may have lots Of them-but you're all
right, ana We will miss you when
you're gone.-Stevens County Reveille.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13

II tell you" exclaimed tho young
medical student, "our professor is an
eminent surgeon"
"How's thatf' asked his ehum.
"well, fellow was brought IN win
q crushed leg. The professor said It
must come OF. But by some means OF
other he cut on the wrong iaS."
DO you call that nne piee~ Of sur
geryT
Wait bit Tho professor said It
would be terrible for tho poor fellow
to 80 about with no legs at ali, % hs
splintcred up the crushed leg Instead
Of cutting that Oh, too, and now II u ~
good as ever. An ordinary surgeon
would have left the fellow lesiess.
Wonderful skill, the professor'sr'
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
cihtles b kindred and clstiipls,
state 81 scs,a Cstolina, I : !.
County Of UniOn.

SOony VI OhNm.
By Jason n. Greor, Esq., Probate Judge.
Whereas, I. Frank Prake, Clerk Of
Court, Union county, have made suit
~ mo TO gtxnt him letters Of Adminiss
t.atiOn Ola tho estate aud ELECTS Of
Marion u. Summer, deceased.
There ara, therefore, to cite and ad-
mOnish all xi,d singular thu Kindred and
creditors OF tho said Marion III. Sumner,
deceastd, that they b. aid appear before
me, In tho COurt OF Probate, to be held
at Union =. H., South Carolina, on the
2Osh day Of March, next, after publ
cation bcreH, at IL O'Clock In the fOre-
nom, TO shIw cause, k any they have,
why tho said Atniuistl alton should rot
b granted.
Given under my hand and seal this
9th day Of Feb. Ammo DOmini, 1908.
JASON M. GREKR,
Probate Judge.
Published ON the 9th day of Feb.
1913, in THE UNION TINES. 8,6t
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
Life and Accident Insurance.

The Aetna Life Insurance writes
policies not only for Life Indemnity,
but also policies that protect you In
6Ass of accident or sickness. Tho
snly Old Line Company In the United
States 10 do this. Rates arc very
reasonable. This company Is well
known and comment is unnecessary.
1 am ,rspressnting the above Com.
paDy and will be pleased to call on
any one wishing insurance. Write
me ct Carlisle, g. @.
46-tf w. F. BATES, Agent.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
Wa9ner's Nerve.

Wagner. the eminent composer, had
tho nerves Of an acrobat. Once he was
climbing . precipitous mountain in
company with q young friend. When
some distance up and walking along
narrow ledge. the companion, who was
following. called out that he was grow.
ing giddy.
Wagner turned around ON the ledge
Of rock. caught his friend and passed
him between the rock and himself to
tho front.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
Final DISCHARGE.

Notice ID hereby given that J. F. Al
man, Sr., Administrators of tfe estate of
3. X. Alexander, decsased, has applied
70 Jason a.. Greer, Judge Of Probate,
In and for tho county Of Union, for q
dnal discharge rs such Administrator.
IT Is ORDERED. That the 18th day Of
February, A. ID. 1908, be axed for hear
Ing Of petition, and finai settlement of
JASON M. GREER,
Probate Judge, Union Co.. d. G.
Published In UNION TIMES Feb 16,
1903 -. $500.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
a. Event VIII lai..

Sartor-The well dressed man 10 one
whose clothes do not attract unusual
attention.
Famiey-It isn't possible. for me to be
well dressed, thenf
Sartor-Nosensei Just get q neat
new suit.
Famley-Thats Just II. I couldn't
get a new suit without attracting unus.
ual attention. delphia Press.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
Final DISCHARGE.

Notes is hereby given that J. Woods
Jster, Executor Of tho estate Of Aron
Kelly, deceased, has applied to Jason n.
Greof, ln6ee Of Probate, In and for the
county of Union, tor Anal discharge as
auch Executor.
IT IL ORDEhRD. That the 17,h day OF
FEBRUARY A. ID. 1908, be fixed for hear
Ing Of petition, and final settlement of
JASON N. GREER.
Probate Judge Union Co., s. G.
Published ia UNION TIMRs Feb. 16.
1903.s 60 & $500
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13

A youth wns engaged as junior ciefk
by a nrm ef lawyers, and BY Nay Of
fiiling in his time and testing hiS worth
on his flrst day he was told to write
. letter demanding payment Of q debt
from a client who was long In arrears.
To the great surprise of his employers
. check for the amount arrived the
next day. They sent for the young
clerk and asked him to produce q COPY
OF the letter which had had such an
astonishing result. The letter ran as
follows:
Dear Sir-If you do not at once remit
payment OF the amount which you Owe us.
we,wiii take steps that will amass you.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
Erecstuls, Administrators, Trus.
teas and Guardians.

zen are hereby notified that you must
mako Jour annual returns tO this c,,urt
Tho law JtqWfrcs you 10 make rctur MS
ssch and every year. IL you fall to do
20 ycu wilir forfeit your commission
Tho law will be, strictly enforced in this
particular. JASON M. GREER,
Jan. %, 1908. Probate Judge
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
The Last Straw.

well, what do you want now?' QUE
ried old Growells as the insuran nce 30.
licitor entered his office. You hnve
bullied me into insuring my life, my
store and the title to my real estate,
What Is there left to insure?
Il just dropped in," calmly replied
the man with the ndamantine cheek.
ito see IL you would like to insure your
insurance policies."-Chicag 20 News,
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13

1T Is a blessed secret" says one,
"that Of nvias BY the day. Any ono
can carry his burden, however heavy,
until nishtfali, and any one can DO his
work, however hard. I'LL the sun goes
down. Any one can live patiently, iov-
ingiy and purely for one day. And
this 10 ali life means to us-just ono
little day" Why not try this truth
Philadelphia North American.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
A still G-.s&sr c,.<r-,<.

"Are you going to take that ugly pug
dog with you again, Carrier asked
Charles. II really believe you take
him simply to make yourself look pret.
tier BY the contrast"
Don't be Jealous Of poor Pug, Char.
He" replied Carrie. TN take you
some time when I want to hook esps.
cially handsome"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
Unreasonable wom,r

This thermometer" complained the
customer, "is no good. I can never toll
by 1t how cold it is."
Consider, my dear woman" replied
the Boston shopkeeper, "the word .ther-
mometer' is derived from two Greek
words meaning measure Of heat. The
instrument is designed to measure heat.
madam, not cold. ld."-Philadelphia Press.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
TAe veics Of nxpe,ae.ee.

The vsice Of 1xDerienee.
don't care to marry-at least not
yst," said the dirt.
why notT' asked the matron.
Because as matters are now have
the attentions Of half q dozen men,
while IL I married would have the
attentions Of only one."
"Huhr exclaimed the matron. "Ycn
wouldn't have even that" - Chicago
Post.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
Romantic.

She is engaged. oh. lovely maid!
What raptures thrill us throuxht
Wnat happiness hangs on your wordi
What hopes are fixed on you,
We pledge our lives to serve vo,r xv,sh.
Twin surely make a STIR
This pearl Of girls. who II engaged
To cook at fifteen per,
New York HersA
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
T'Ae way q n. w.riA.

There 90 the Spicer wiieoxes, man.
ma! I'm told they're dying to know us.
Hadn't we better cailf'
Certainly not, dear! II they're dy-
ing to know t1s, they're not worth know.
Ing. The only people worth our know
ing are the people who don't want to
know as"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
The Nest He Could Do,

Wigg-Before they were married he
said he would he willing to die for her.
Wngg-Well, he has partially proved
It. At any rate, he doesn't seem able
to earn living for her.-Philadelphia
Record.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13

Stalate-Why. my watch has stobted,
Miss Willing-And SO has the clock.
stalate-Then suppose may a.
well stop awhile longer.-San Francis.
CO Examiner.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
ExcusinR the Dos

Madam, your fierce dog here bit me
Just moment ago"
MY dog? impossible! That dog
wouldn't harm flea"
Perhaps he didn't know I had any,
maam."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
A PrOnosal.

Dear me! But we're supposed to
have reached the age of discretion"
"On the contrary, we've passed n.
thank heaven!'-New York Life.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
Notice to Debtors and Creditors

All per.ons holding claims aasinst
Ms. u. Z. AcNesce, deceased, will pre-
rent same propeslv attested 70 the un-
deTsigned for payment. All persons
owing deceased by note, mortgage or
otherwise will mako payment Of same on
or before March 1st, 1908.
T. n. NCNEACE,
Agent for Mrs. Leila McNeace.
a
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13

Mrs. Highblower - Elsie. you never
speak outside Of tho quarrels between
your papa and myself. do you7
Elsie--Oh, no. mamma. bat whenever
you are pleasant to each other I always
mention it.-Ilfe.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
Rnlnent.

First Actor-I am having new suit
OF clothes made.
Second Actor-I am having n pair Of
socks-n -nit!-Indianapolis News.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
a Credlt In RafA

credit to Both.
Does she favor her father OF hef
mothcrW
"Well, should say she sort of com.
pllmcnts both Of them"-Detroit Free
Press.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
Down ON T0haccn.

Eha-Fred kissed me last night, nnd
know he had been using tobacco.
Stclla-No man can kiss me who bas
a smoking compartment in his face
New York Herald.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
The sem vosce.

Whose voice did he like best, yours
or miner asked Miss Kreech.
Tn not quite sure" replied Miss
bird. "Iais remarks were q bit am
biguous."
why, what did he say7"N
He said he liked my voice, but that
yours was bstter still."-Philadelphia
Press.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
condensed Information for the |
Nffce, the Store and the Home.
As Some Others Do.

"They say" said Willie's mother as
they were watching the 'armlcss Won
der wind his watch. write his name
and do other remarkable things with
his toes. that he can play the piano,
but don't see how"
That's easy. mamma" replied vii.
lie. "He can play by ear"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13

II we are long absent from our
friends, we forget them: IL we are con.
stantly with them, we despise them
Hazlltt.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
Prspsa~sstx.

Crawford-Why do lovers sit and cit
and sit in blissful siIepee7
Crabshaw-Because, 40 general
thing, there isn't room for either Of
them to get q word In sdxsways.--
Judge.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13

The Bank Of England has a pair Of
scales % accurate that IN ink spot on a
piece Of paper yisibly Affects the bal.
ance-
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13
Cost OF ConstrucfiaJ

Cost OF Construction.
DO you know what this street rni,.
road cost per miller"
NO. But I know what II cost per
aldermanr-Puck.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-02-13

The future II purchased BY the pres.
ent.-Johneou.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-02-24
Brother Shakespeare Theorizinq.

If the legislature, o in session in
the territory of Arizona passes the
"woman's suffrage act as there is
every likelihood of its doing, and the
two territories of Arizona and New
Mexico are admitted to statehood as
one state, what kind of a muddle will
the new state be in then? All of the
ladies west of the line now dividing
the two territoies will be allowed to
vote, while those east of that line can
only remain at home and look pleas
ant. We believe that such a state of
affairs would result in the exodus of
all females from the east side of the
new state to the west side, and all of
us who now DO the voting in. New Mex
leo will become widowers.-Deming
Headlight. ~
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-02-24
Should Receive Attention.

Council bill No. 46. now pending in
the council, provides that all taxable
property should be assessed at rs per
cent Of it's actual value. The bill in
the power of the territorial
board of equalization to a very great
extent and empowers it to equalize,
raise or lower assessments. 1t is a
very important measure and should re.
ceive careful attention at the hands OF
the legislative assembly. 1t was intro
duced by Councilman Saturnino Pin
ard.-Las Cruces Republican.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-02-24
Don't Like Council Bill No. 8.

The following resolution adopted by
the irrigation commission was yester-
day presented to Col. G.. W. Knaebel.
secretary of the commission, to the
committee on irrigation of the legis-
lative council:
That the honorable. the irrigation
committee of the council be informed
that it is the sense of this commission
that council blil No. 3. in its present
form, be not passed, but hat in lieu
thereof, legislation be had which shall
provide for the engineer. to act under
the authority of the commission and t.
be selected by it, for the purpose o.
gathering data and informing this com
mission as to facts generally which are
necessary to the proper discharge OF
it's functions. under the present laws
and all changes of the same; and hat
no arbitrary control of irrigation mat
ters be placed in the hands of an engi.
neer, such as is. in several respects.
contemplated by council bill No. 3,
shall be vested in the territorial engi
neer. f that position should be Great.
ed as contemplated in said bill