The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-09-13
SOCIETY OF THE UNBIASED.


Almost before the members seated Major Ven
thrup announced that be received communication
which he would read
That is the duty of the secretary modesty
gested The fact is the Major IS Indifferent reader
while took first reading classes youth
and by reading my writings aloud to my family
have kept in practice it. read with
the proper accent meditation, infection and be
sprighty or pathetic the occasion requires
Thus admonshed Major passed the
following epistle which produce verbatim Hterati
punctuatin, and 1 cannot produce it hand
writing and all
Society Unbiased Major venthrup pals:
Gentlemen: was my intent to appeal for admit
to your club, because liberal andlfree from initial
leration. my taxes. which proves l liberal
and endurance is shown by my venerable age. But
the conseat and egoatism OF members is awful.
No doubt collectively unprecedented but sngy
and alone each OF thinks himself purefect realize
that qualities quantities disprecat-
ed such intellectual gigantics->
you viii the entry fee make the
assessable and underwrite the privilege of
of the time and talk will overlook sartaleckness
2nd add to your number really modest open-minded
clearheaded citizen WHO HAS NO HOBBY. I hate
gle ideaed men and talk by the hour that sub
jock.
JAMES JEvLIN.
"Mr. President" said Prof. Linguial the applicant
strange words and expressions which indicate g
his part l tolerate almost idea and
the lack of ideas, but ignorance my mind a
vice and while cigarette smokers (here the Pro-
fessor looked hard Corporal Washington roll
took in Bud Poster, who really is disgusting in that he
spit his shirt may
with mufers really think Mr. Jevlins application
should be turned down. | a that
effect"
Before the professors motion is put" said General
Prodde Il wish protest against the nnuendoes which
his convey. Now. this really Society the
Unbiased, and Corporal aissingon wants 10 brutaze
himself and bring paresis docy by smoking cigar
Chere general pulled doubly his pipe for
losing his light and incidentally wasting
oafC6l hoIa h0,Idh he LAT
Bud Poster enjoys aiming at spttoon at six PAGES and
beyond his shirt front that is his business
and he should be allowed waIow in that-mire his
hearts content Whatever we do or say IT Is not toer-
in accordance with principles egisate
what a shall smoke chew where he shall
pectorae provided always that he confines his saliva to
the bosom of his shirt"
But that do" Pearson Billings; such
sentiment will permit drink liquor play cards.
profane language. l don't mind the perfume
of good Havana. especially its consuming helps
neghboring republic and does something toward fulfill
ing the promise that little republic freed
from Spanish Catholicism. 1 frequently good
Havana myself with charity Havana
growers but cigarettes and beer should
be condemned every occasion. federation of
part of real liberalty of mind"
There you right. Parson.' File.
just taken his regular morphine for
more constitutions ruined by tobacco and
by anything else except by aopatnc doses and
for once that free thinking doctor with
minded dogmatc preacher Let 1t be understood
for all that freedom opinion
dom to indulge in vice. homeopathic physician
well qualified that not
fit to be made into pills their
use"
then Poster aimed at the spittoon six PAGES
away and didn't hit it.
But what shall do application said Cap
tain Greenwich II rather like that letter. The way
describes the egotism you chaps really striking
have noticed the fault you modest
way have enjoyed assocating much conceit 1t
has really taught me the virtue of modesy and caused
to Danish all concet and egotism my
of one modest unassuming in the midst a pack
of self opnionated cgregiously conceited fellows.
Il have remarked it myself twenty times said Cen
era Prodde
The chair has experienced the feeling many times,
but refrained out of from mentioning
Major Venthrup.
Really injected the Professor: frequency with
which that feeling has charmed furnished per-
haps chief enjoyment of this magnificent society,""
"On the contrary remarked the Parson,
panied by the evidence of personal vanity which APP
peared so often and which | feel here now my duty
to chide. Humility is of the chief taught by
the church and humble exponent thereof wish
members might drop their egotism follow example
Of modesty I have sought to keep before them
Il am really the only unprejudiced house."
said DR. File, but let's drop personalities. about
the pending application
Il append that the pending pendant suspended until
next meeting said Bud Poster expert juggler
of words and unprncpled punster. Lets adjourn"
MR.. SIMON SIMPLE, Secretary