Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1903-10-23
THE BREAKER.
How a Lazy Man Came to Make a
Good Livinu.

In appearance he was about as comon- |
place as other people middle aged |
man, inclined to portliness As the train |
moved on he discussed commonplace sub |
jects with me in a commonplace way ! |
should not have been surprised to have |
been told that he was a stockbroker or a |
solicitor, or that he was engaged in the |
tea trade
In the course of our chat something
happened to be said about curious occu-
pations.
Well" said my companion, Il do not
suppose that there is any more curious
occupation than my own | am break
err"
He had not at all the appearance of a
man used to horses, but | suggested, - a
horse breaker, you mean?
" No." he said, just plain breaker a
man who breaks things. breaks anything
| that requires to be broken-gets his liv-
| ing by breaking"
| glanced nervously at the communca-
| tor. though he looked even less like
a lunatic than he did like horse break
| er.
Il see" he said smiling that l must
! explain. When | left Cambridge with a
| classical degree, no prospects and no in
| huence. l looked about for a profession.
| | found everything overcrowded; besides
none Of the professions appealed to me
| at all"
Il like to travel about a little and I
| enjoy social life. l like talking-talking
to any one. | hate work of any kind
| This being the case, | looked about me
to see II there was not a chance for
a new profession; If among our mil
lion wants there was not one idea that
was not supplied"
The idea came to me by accident. |
was stopping at my uncles house when
he received a present from his wfe's
| brother singularly ugly but very valu-
| able pair of oriental vases. His wife's
| brother was frequently in my uncle's
house, and therefore these denominations
mad to be displayed. | heard him grumb-
| bling about this.
Il suggested that he should sell them.
The idea was of course. absurd: he told
me so. Nor. said he. could he break them
himself, for his wife's brother would
never forgive him; nor could he ask his
wife to break them, because, although he
had been married Is years. he felt that
he did not know her well enough. nor
could he ask the servants to break them;
that would encourage carelessness and
thriftessness
That is all right. said. rose
from my place and smashed the vases,
one after another. on the floor. Sorry
| was so clumsy. | said; YOU had better
ling and have this rubbish cleared
away. He rang and told the servant
that | had broken them accidentally.
When she had gone he said without
smile, 1t seems rather a pity
d" said: am Very short OF ready
money. Could you lend me k25?'
" lie wrote me a check OF $25, and said
that | was useful man to know Of.
Then said Recommend me to your
friends for already saw the possibility
of my future profession.
! " He mentioned me to some half dozen
| people he knew. some Of whom | had
never seen in my life before. They sent
me invitations to their houses and indi-
]
ate. In my first week | broke | remem-
Der. "A lamp shaped like an owl. an oil
painting. tea service and a dining
room table.
" But an oil painting" | said. How
does one break an oil painting"
" II Is simple enough" he said. " I
first of all undid the wire so that the
picture fen. and in picking It up | put
my foot through the face. 1t was por-
d, trait OF my hosts wifes aunt.
" 1t was more difficult to break the
dining-room table recollect that it
became necessary for the purpose to in
vent a somewhat boisterous form Of
; round game. Even then we had to play
IL for three evenings before the legs came
off.
When | left this house my host
handed me check and promised to rec
ommend me to other people. | never ad-
vertise, and / have more breaking to do
than | can possibly find time for. II |
could ind young man with plenty OF
tact, | would take him as an assistant"
" II must need some tact l suggested.
" 1t does. II so often happens that
: am employed by the husband without
the knowledge Of the wife. or by the wife
without the knowledge Of the husband.
| Even with the utmost tact one gets one :
self disliked. but that | must put up
with.
= The other day one of my clients
asked me to come to his house to break
a dinner service dined there ana made
2 myself as pleasant as | could and told
several good stories, but then ! also
broke the dinner service or most of 1t.
and 1t was one TO which my hostess was
much attached. She said to him after
! ward. Will never have that brute in
my house again,
And what did he say"
? He said: fully agree with you,
my dear. To the best of my belief, the
man was drunk If he had not been the
son of an old college friend | should
2 never have asked MN at all That was
| a little mean. hut then ii was necessary
for him to cover himself in some way,
t and as | never break dinner service
} under >25, | received some consolation for
e the indignty."
= Have you got any engagements for
the present." | asked.
Yes he said. am going to one
now. hut ii is trfling thing, requiring
no tact at all. Had | had an assistant
! should have sent him. | am to go the
day after wedding reception, when the
presents are being packed. Those which,
from their ugliness or worthlessness, are
not worth packing up and sending to
the bridegrooms distant home, have
been placed on separate shelf, l shall
? upset that shelf and accidentally stamp
on ANYTHING which is not broken in the
fail. The job won't take five minutes,
and | get Sl5 for it. | am doing it for
the bridegroom without the knowledge
of the bride. Men begin to deceive wo-
men very soon, / find
have | said, one or two little OBJ
, jects in my own house which
But at this moment the train entered
Victoria station, and though l managed
to complete my sentence and my COM
paniOn said that he would be glad at any
time to oblige me. in the confusion of
our arrival | neglected to take his name
and address or to give him mine.-[ Black
and White.
Wet Harvest Weather in England.
The loss occasoned to British agricul-
| ture by the continuous rain is enormous