davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
C1erlz at the speaker,. peslk.


The speakers right hand man is cali
ed "clerk at the speakers desk" and is
one of the most useful men in the
house Of representatives. It is his bust
ness to know things, all things; In
fact, everything connected with legis-
lation. He must know parliamentary
law, precedents Of the house and must
have them ready at a seconds notice,
so that they may be cited by the speak
er or the chairman of the committee Of
the whole house whenever point of
order Is raised or parliamentary point
Is to be decided. He must know all the
members of the house and from what
state they come in order to tell the
speaker or the chairman how to rec
ogniZe them when they address the
presiding officer. He must know all
the secretaries of the president and
clerks Of the senate, so as to tell the
presiding officer when there is mes
sage from the president or the senate
to be received by the house. He keeps
the time on men who are addressing
the house, and the hammer" falls
when he says that man has consum-
ed his allotted time. OF all these
tasks the greatest is to be well in
formed upon parliamentary law. There
Is no index to parliamentary rulings,
and many points are found by the
man who will delve and dig and study
the subject all the Washington
Post.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

When he was but a schoolboy in the
Jesuits' college at Dijon jacques Bos-
suet was known as one of the best
classical scholars in Europe.
At eight Louis de Bourbon, prince of
Condo, was a perfect Latin scholar.
Three years later he published work
on rhetoric, and at seventeen he was
appointed governor of Burgundy.
Fenelon displayed SO much precocity
that he won fame as preacher of rare
eloQuence when he was but fifteen
years of age. Pascal wrote treatises
on acoustics at twelve, at which age he
was busily occupied in constructing
elaborate circulating machines, and at
sixteen he published his treatise on
"Conic Sections" which Descartes re-
fused to believe was not the work of a
great master.
John Stuart Mill was studying Greek
at three, had practically mastered the
language at seven and a year later
was acting as schoolmaster to his
younger brothers and sisters. John
Ruskin actually produced a manu-
script work in three volumes before
he reached his seventh birthday.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
southern Enropc.

A traveller writes: Il have often been
struck by the ease with which people
In southern Europe are amused In
Paris 100000 people go out to Long
champs for the Grand Prix race. and
half million people go out and line
the roads on their return to see them
come back. In Rome at the feast of the
'Divino Amore" 5000 people go ont on
the Campagna to spot where once
stood temple to Venus and hold a
picnic. while $4,000 go out and line the
Appian way to see them return. In
Madrid this popularity is even more
marked. On the Puerta del Sol about
thousand people stand around and do
nothing outdoors. while crowds of peo-
pie sit indoors or lean from balconies to
watch them do it. And In Seville the
idle rich sit In clubs and cafes on the
Eierpes to watch the lower classes walk
by, while the lower classes walk by to
watch the idle rich sitting In the clubs
and cafes on the Sierpes."
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
CuttIe Fishing.

Cnttles require def handling. The
bait, which consists of rough chunk
of fish fastened to hook or even tied
to string, is not dropped over the side
to be swallowed, but TO excite the gus
tatory organs of the cuttles and to be
slowly pulled up until those ,mollusks
have reached the surface in vain at
tempt to embrace it with their long
arms. Then in a moment n gaR Is
plunged into the leathery mantle of the
would be diner and the creature Is I'M
tremendously flung into the boat. The
prosaic nature of the fishing is some
times punctuated by grotesque Incl
dents. For instance, the cutie which
brought our catch up to n bakers
dozen helped to support the idea that
thirteen is an unlucky number by max
ing his entrance into the boat a pre-
text for emptying his bag of sepia into
the face of his captor, the liquid trans
forming that gentleman's glib speech
into mere incoherent spluttering, and
then running down his white Jumper
in what the daylight showed to be a
black torrent. THAT was a BRAVE
clumsy job" remarked comrade, re-
ferring. not to the aim of the cutie,
but to the incautious handling of the
fisherman.-John Isabel in Longman's.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
How Oysters Grow.

A man who has devoted much time
to the study of the oyster says that this
bivalve is born with his shell on and
that he grows only in the summer time.
The beard of an oyster is not only his
breathing organ-that is, his lungs
but it also serves to convey food to his
mouth. When the warm, calm days of
June come the oyster opens his shell
and by means of his beard begins build
ing an additional story to his house.
This he does by depositing very, very
fine particles of carbonate of lime till
at last they form a substance as thin
as silver paper and exceedingly fragile.
Then he adds more and more till at last
the new shell Is as hard as the old shell.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

One day "Uncle Chef" Thomas drove
out to South Topeka to sell man
horse. The man was no judge Of
horsefiesh and knew it. So after look
ing the animal over he told "Uncle
Chef to come out again in about ten
days. "a friend of mine who knows
a horse when he sees it will be here
then" he said, land I'll see what he
thinks. And, by the way" he added,
show old did you say the horse wasY
"Seven years old comm February"
said "Uncle Chef" as he gathered up
the reins and drove away. .Uncle
Chef" drove out to South Topeka
again. The prospective purchaser was
there, and after looking the horse in
the mouth asked his age. Twelve
years old this spring" replied "Uncle
Chet," smiling blandly. But" broke
in the man who wanted to buy the
horse you told me not ten days ago
that he was only seven" $50 l did,"
Uncle Chet"-"so did.
My, how time does flyr'-Topeka Cap
ital
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
THIRTY YEARS AGO.
items OF local interest taken from the columns
OF The Press, thirty years ago.l
July 81, 1873.

Lucius Johnson has closed his busI-
ness In Pages block, and s. b b lrnes
has removed his drug store to the vacated
room, and will aiso continue the ice cream
and confectionery business.
There will be two tickets run at the
coming borough election, one by those
who favored the borough and the other
by those who opposed 1t. The avowed
purpose OF the opponents is TO render the
charter pr actically imperative by eIecting
officers who will not improve its priv
leges.
The store at Westford has passed into
the sole proprietorship of E. A. Buck
who Is putting In new stock of goods.
BoRN.-Stafford Springs, July 25, 1873,
a son (Louis j } to Joseph Stanton.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

In Venezuela many years ago a
wealthy agriculturist was appointed
minister of marine. Being hard
worker. he asked at once for particu-
lars of the fleet. The secretary brought
him particulars about the only war
ship. The details gave length, tonnage
and horse power. At this last the min
lister stopped the secretary and babe
him write down quickly an order to
the chief of customs, '"Take out these
120 horses at once, and l will send you
good mules in their places" explaining
that mules were much more econom-
ical, both as regards food and ability
to withstand fatigue.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

VERY REMARKABLE CURE OF DIAR-
RHoEA.-"About six years ago, for the
first time In my life, l had sudden and
severe attack of diarrhoea," says Mrs.
Alice Miller OF Morgan, Texas. IL got
tenn orary relief, but 1t came back again
and again, and for six long years / have
suff red more misery and agony than l
can tell. II was worse than death. My
husband spent hundreds of dollars for
physicians prescriptions and treatment
without avail. Finally we moved to
Bosque county, our present home, and
one day happened to see an advertise
ment of Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy, with q testimonial of
a man who had been cured by 1t. The
case was so similar to my own that con-
cluded to try the remedy. The result
was wonderful. l could hardly realize
that | was well again, or believe 1t could
be so, after having suffered so long, but
that one bottle of medicine, costing but a
few cents, cured me-"
For sale at % cents per box by E. K.
Taft, III. F. Cady, Stafford; g. Hall, Jr.,
& Co., South Wellington.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
A Nntinn Of sn,ol.ers.

Notwithstanding all one hears about
the growth of the cigarette habit in
this country. England occupies Il COM
paratively lowly place as smoking
nation. says the London Taller. Sta
tistics prove that as smokers Dutch
men are well ahead of all the other
nations. Germans come second, al
though, man for man, they consume
less than half as much tobacco as
Dutchmen. Three times as many ciga-
rettes are consumed annually in Eng
land as in either Germany or Holland.
but as consumers Of pipe tobacco both
these countries are far ahead OF us.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

The fishermen of CIudad Bolivar. on
the Orinoco river. in South AtIcrica.
catch their fish in the quccrgst way in
the world. They use no bait. but Try
to hook the fish by the body. y cylin-
drical weight is tied to Il long line.
Above this weight, for n length of six
inches, strong fish hooks are attached
The line is thrown out in places where
the current is swift and shoals of fish
pass. 1t is hauled in rapidly by a
series of jerks and usually there is a
fish on half the hooks.
This method of fishing Is called ro-
alphabetically, 'tto rob-"
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

CHOLERA INFANTUM.-This has long
been regarded as one of the most danger
GUS and fatal diseases to which infants
ale subject. 1t can be cured, however,
when properly treated. ALI that Is nee
essay Is to give ChamberIain's Collie,
Cholera and DlarIhoea Remedy and cas-
tor oil, as directed with each bottle, and
a cure Is certain.
Sold by E. K. Taft, Fl. f. Cadv. Stat
ford; g. Hall, Jr., & Co., South Willing
ton.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

Apollo was the old god of music, and
his favorite instrument, the Tyre, was
Invented by Mercury. When the latter
was four hours old he found the shell
of a tortoise and made it into a Tyre
with nine strings in honor of the nine
muses.. This instrument Mercury gave
to Apollo, who became q wonderful
player upon it. The Tyre was used by
the Greeks in olden times, and from it
was fashioned the harp.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

How long will it take person to
read the Old Testament. with its J92,-
439 words. or the ISI LIB words of the
New Testament: And how long to
read the 1T3.G92 words of both!
A man can read Understandings 100
words every minute. BY hurrying n
man can rcau 100 words. or probably
more. | will assume that Il NAN can
read critically-that is. carefully and
understandingly least sixty words
minute. That is slow reading. being
only $500 words an hour. Suppose n
man should devote an hour a day to
the Bible.
At this rate he would read 10S,0 600
words in thirty days. or in a months
time. He would therefore read the
Old Testament in less than six months.
and he would finish the New Testa-
ment in less than two months.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

Cemetery shares continue to be quite
a market feature in Scotland and are
actively dealt in on the Edinburgh
Stock Exchange. Apparently they ap-
peal to the curious nature of the canny
Scot, who doubtless reasons that in
such holding he has a security which
is not likely to vanish and that lie the
worst comes to the worst he will never
need to come on the parish for grave.
London Financial News.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
COssack Customs.

Many queer customs and usages are
prevalent among the Cossacks. No man
changes his clothes ON a Monday. On
Thursday no fat or flesh meat must be
picked or corEed. Wool is not spun
on holiday. A hen is always given
an uneven number of eggs to hatch,
never an even number. Bones left from
dinner at funeral are thrown into
the river, and at the same meal no
one dare cut bread; it must always be
broken
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

IT WILL SURPRISE YoU-TRY IT 1t Is
the medicine above all others for catarrh, ,
and Is worth its weight In gold. Ely g
Cream Balm does all that is claimed for
it.-B W. Sperry, Hartford, Conn.
My son was afflicted with catarrh. He
used Ely's Cream Balm and the disagree
able catarrh all left him.. G. Ohm
stead, Arcola, Ill.
The Balm does not irritate or cause
sneezing. Sold by druggists at so cts. or
mailed by Ely Brothers, So Warren-st. =,
New York. II
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
Treat Your KIdnexs for Rheumati.m

When you are suffering from rheuma-
tism the kidneys must be attended to at
once SO that they will eliminate the uric
acid from the blood. Fol'y's Kidney
Cure Is the most effective remedy for this
purpose r T. Hopkins of Polar, Wis !,
says, CATER unsuccesefully doctoring
three years for rheumatism with the best
doctors, tried Foley's Kidney Cure, and
1t cured me. cannot speak too highly
of this great medicine. Sold by E. K.
Taft, druggist.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

The proprietors of Foley's Honey and
Tar do not advertise this as ''sur5 cure
for consumption" They do not claim
that it will cure this dread complaint In
advanced cases, but do positively assert
that 1t will cure In the earlier stages, and
never falls to give comfort and relief In
the worst cases. Foley's Honey and Tar
is without doubt the greatest throat and
lung remedy. Refuse substitutes. E. X.
Taft, druggist.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
Secret For Secret.

In the days of Louis XIV. even war
riors banded epigrams with one an
other. ...e-s--
The Marechal de Grammont had tax
en- fortress by siege.
81 will tell you a secret" said its
military governor after surrendering.
1.-THE reason of my capitulation was
that had no more powder"
"And, secret for secret" returned
the marechal suavely, 'the reason Of
my accepting 1t on such easy terms
was that had no more balls"
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
BrutalIy Tortured.

A case came to light that for persistent
and unmerciful torture has perhaps never
been equaled. Joe Golobick of Colusa,
Calf, writes: For Is years endured
insufferable pain from Rheumatism and
nothing relieved me, though tried every
thing known. came across Electric Bit
tiers, and its the greatest medicine on
earth for that trouble. A few bottles of
1t completely relieved and curedI me-"
Just as good for Liver and Kidney, Trou-
bles and general debility. Only SOC. Sat-
guaranteed by A. G. Eaton, drug
gist.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
Matrimonial Dxspensia.

"Well, how do you like married lifeY
inquired the friend.
mot at ALL" replied the man who
had married money and was suffering
for it, "Pm case of matrimonial dys-
pepsia."
Matrimonial dyspepsia p
eyes. She never agrees with me;
she's too ch."-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
Night Was Her Terror.

81 would cough nearly all night long,"
writes Mrs. Chas. Apologize of Alexan-
dria, Ind, land cauld hardly get any
sleep. l had consumption so bad that II
1 walked block l would cough fright
fully and spit blood, but, when all other
medicines failed, three $1.00 bottles of
DR.. Kings New Discovery wholly cured
me and gained 80 pounds" Its abso-
lutely guaranteed to cure Coughs, Colds,
La Grippe, Bronchitis and all Throat and
Lung Troubles. Price SOC and 81 90.
Trial bottles free at A. G. Eaton's drug
STORE ... ....-.. .er
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
Geology of the Heart.

NO" said Maude pensively: neither
Henry nor Charles for me- That's
clear. will not let Henry propose be-
cause he hasn't got the dust and l
can't get Charles to declare himself be-
cause he hasn't got the sand, How
ever, there's old Mr.. Richfellow. I'll
keep my eye on him. He's got the
rocks"
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

az was troubled with kidney complaint
for about two years." writes A. FL. Davis
of Mount Sterling, Ia, "but two bottles
of Foley's Kidney Cure effected perma-
nent cure"
Sound kidneys are safeguards of life.
Make the kidneys healthy with Foley g
Kidney Cure. Sold by E. K. Taft, drug
oief
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
Wanted Something Effective.

Under "sketchy little thing" exhib-
tied by Jones there hangs a printed
card which bears the words:
"Do not touch with canes or umbrel-
las"
An appreciative small boy added the
following postscript:
"Take A Ax."-London Tit-Bits.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

THE FOUNDATION OF HEALTH.-Nour-
ishment Is the foundation of health-life
strength. Kodol Dyspepsia Cure is the
one great medicine that enables the stom-
ach and digestive organs to digest, assim-
ilate and transform all foods inro the kind
of blood that nourishes the nerves and
feeds the tissues. Kodol lays the founda-
ton for health. Nature does the rest.
Indigestion, Dyspepsia, and all disorders
of the stomach and digestive organs are
cured by the use of Kodol. Sold by W..
D. Head.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

Ethel-Isn't Judy newsy?
Mayme-Isn't she. though? She tells
SO much 1 don't see how she gets time
to hear anything Detroit Free Press.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
Looking Ahead.

A little girl aged three asked her
father for more candy. but was told to
wait until tomorrow. Looking out Of
the window for a few moments, she
suddenly called out, Papa, 1t looks
like tomorrow now"
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
Working Might, and nax.

The busiest and mightiest little thing
that ever was made Is DR.. Kings New
Life Pills. These pills change weakness
into strength, listlessness into energy,
ly 25c per box. Sold by A. G. Eaton.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

Young Wife, want to buy a hat
for my husband.
Hatter-What size does he wear7
Young Wife, declare | forgot to
find out! know the size of the collars
he wears, though. It's Is. He'd want
about size IS or 20 for a hat. wouldn't
he?
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
His Calling.

my dear friend. allow me to intro
duce to you NJ. ". man who writes
more nonsense than any one living"
81 see; he's journalist"
"No; he's legislative stenographer."
Paris Figaro.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

Mrs. Brown-So you were out again
last night, eh?
you $40 for your share.-Detroit Free
PIeas.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

81 never saw any one SO timid as
Henpeck is" remarked Wigger. ''Why.
he's like mouse in his own house."
"Nonsensev' exclaimed Wager "His
wife isn't the least bit afraid of him."
Stray Stories.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
Her Very Own.

"He says that he loves me more than
his life and that he can't live without
me-"
"Oh. all young men say that"
'"That may be. but they don't say
it to me-"
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

"What kind of weather do you think
we are going to have tomorrow
'The Indications" said the profess
sional prophet, point to more rain,
but have no personal opinion on the
subject whatever Washington Star.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
The Relief Was Mntnal.

"Young man." said the professor as
he grabbed a frisky junior by the
shoulder, 81 believe Satan has got hold
Of you" ....5... ..-
II believe he has," was the quick re-
ply.-Exchange.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

Mother-Why are you so naughty.
Dorothy?
Dorothy (aged three) Cause it's
easier, muzzer-Comfort.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

Learn first how to make living and
make great name later. Dallas
News.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

JUST ABOUT BEDTIME Take a Little
Early Riser-it will cure constipation,
biliousness and liver troubles. DeWitt's
Little Early Risers are different from 9TH
ers. They do not grippe and break down
the mucous membranes Of the stomach,
liver and bowels, but cure gently by alb
sorbing the secretions and giving strength
to these organs. Sold by w. ID. Head.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
1t Wasn't.

"Boys, don't you know it's wicked to
fight? Now, if I were you I'd kiss
and make up"
"Say, wot do yous tink dis is-a wo-
mans club ?'-Life ...
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

E. K. Taft, H. f. Cady, Stafford; G.
Hall, Jr., & Co., South Wellington, will
buy 1t back.-You assume no risk when
you buy Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy. E. K. Taft, II. F.
Cady, Stafford; g. Hall, Jr., & Co., South
Wilmington, will refund your money II you
are not satisfied after using 1t. 1t Is
everywhere admitted to be the most sue
cessful remedy In use for bowel COM
plants, and the only one that never fails.
It Is pleasant, safe and reliable.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

There is more to be learned from one
living woman than from whole
Smithsonian museum of anthropology
II ifp
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30
The Limit Reached.

The prisoner, faded, battered speci-
men of mankind, on whose haggard
face, deeply lined with the marks of
dissipation, there still fingered faint re-
minders of better days long past, stood
dejectedly before the judge.
Where are you from?' asked the
magistrate.
From Boston," answered the accus-
ed man
Indeed" said the judge ''indeed
yours is sad fall, and yet you don't
seem to thoroughly realize how low
you have sunk"
The man started as If struck. your
honor does me an injustice" he said
bitterly. '"The disgrace of arrest for
drunkenness, the modification of being
thrust into the noisome dungeon, the
publicity and humiliation of trial in a
crowded and dingy court room l can
bear, but to be sentenced by police
magistrate who splits his infinitives-
that is indeed the last blow."-New
York Times.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

ST guess" said tine naturally weary
young man. 81 was meant to be mil
lionaire, but started on line where
they don't give transfers" -Baltimor
American.
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

The shortest life is long enough If it
lead to better, and the longest life is
too short If it do not.-Colton
The Press. (Stafford Springs, Conn.) 1883-1935, 1903-07-30

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We promptly obtain o. 8. and Foreign