Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-10-21
JOHN QUILL
Sees the Humorous Corners
in H. R. HIS. Canada.
Scrubs the Rust Off His French and
Becomes Land Proprietor.
Learns to Turn to the Left and Returns
to Think It Over.

ference, French being the universal
language in some parts of the country
and the Yankee who perculates through
Canada and leaves his French at home,
bumps up against more puzzling prob
lens than the Venezuelan question. My
French had been hanging in the back
entry since my school days, and conse-
quently was somewhat rusty and moth
eaten and when tried to palm myself
off on the sweet gaZelle with n. lamb
| like face, at the hotel, as French no.
bleman incognito born to the purple,
with chateau in sunny France, my
| troubles We're just beginning-in their
| infancy in fact.
The second step of my downward
career was when l purchased a book
entitled How to Learn French in IL
Day" The book was not total fail
ure, for the printer got something out
| of it. In fact more than I did. But
| like Professor Oh How Wise and his
book" SO ably caricatured in the Sun
| day papers by Ed. Payne, my book was
my constant companion. l think the
author of these encyclopedias of useful
| misstatements, should secure the CO.
operation of the writer of Every Man
| His Own Doctor and jointly publish
Own Undertaken" as the country is
just yawning for one more classic, and
no we'll stocked library will be COM
plete without it.
At the hotel table, my first morning
in the Dominion, the girl asked me if l
spoke French. l hesitated a moment,
(and they say the man who hesitates
is losD. answered Yes, some" Then
she bombarded me with all the French
verbs and adverbs she had in her vo-
| cabulary. l struggled for moment,
then Bon jour, Madame. Good morn
ing" Then had lapse of memory on
French, and got sadly mixed. My side
partner came to the rescue, and ordered
'barleZ.' She brought him a corn
broom. I thought it a new kind of cere-
al and told her to cut it up and bring
me the milk and sugar l do not know
what she thought, but judging by the
way she looked, she sat up half the
to find if there was any reward offered,
for a couple of escaped lunatics.
Over in Quebec where I tarried, an
age of improvement has struck the
electric cars. Years ago they used a
leather bottle to collect fares in, but
now the conductors push your way
everything comes your way in Cana
da) what looks like baby kodak with
a small opening in the top. You muir
muir a few words not found in the sec
ond chapter of Corinthians, drop your
silver tive-cent piece in the slot and
the transaction is closed. The Cana
dams have no earthly use for the Amer
lean nickel, and the man Wi.h bucket
fill OF nickel must bCirnw Or 60 q foot.
One thing | noticed particularly was
the large crop of traders, who have APP
parently a second mortgage on the no.
bility, and judging by the way II. r. H.
scattered his substance to the winds.
while here. he must be pretty we'll
shod and clothed individual, for every
trader, so his sign reads, is a. dealer by
special appointment to H. r. H. The
only storekeeper, that failed to connect
with III. r. H. was the pawnbroker.
Evidently our esteemed friend, His
Highness, did not affiliate with his I'M
Gle, while in Canada.
Outside of the city proper, in one of
the neighboring parishes, l came across
Il sign. that to say the least was
unique. A wooden building facing the
street had on one of its large windows
in blue paint, this sign Foundations
put in and Filling Furnished" and on
the other cafe, Meals at all Hours"
This may have been a house divided
against itself, and a contractor and
restorator We're dwelling in har-
mOny, under one rain shedder; if
so I apologize. but if the caterer
was dwelling with his brood alone
under their shingled thatch. and
had put out this sign to attract the
hungry multitude to his cooking, he
does not require many pointers on adj
vertising to start the crowd his way,
for a few more signs and he would be
obliged to prop his floor up. to keep his
customers from going into the cellar.
All up through the section / visited.
the government is throwing out the
lifeline to settlers, and Offering land
at a nominal figure. Good farming land
can be bought for zoe. per acre. had
no intention of becoming a land baron
in the Kings domain, but uncoH-
SciOu3ly did so. | was out walking in
the evening and had about finished my
ramble, and wishing to return to the
hotel, / struck out through an unfre-
uuented street, which turned out to be
a COW path, and when l reached the
hotel the porter estimated that 1 had
taken up about sixty cents worth of
land, at the price they We're selling it
for. As Il was rich land for agricul-
tural purposes, it is not at all improb-
able, that some day my Websterian
voice. may be heard in the Parliament
building at Ottawa, representing the
district 1 rre-empted. l presume that
now 1 am subject to draft and taxes,
and all the other pleasant things, in
cidental to owning land in the Do
minion, and may in case of war turn
out to be Tommy Atkins all covered
over with brass buttons.
l had retired quite early one eve
ming, after putting in a long day at
sightseeing. and having clear con-
science dropped off to sleep. | was
awakened at the first break of day, not
by the lark. but by a youth with
italian sunset-colored hair. singing Mr.. |
Dooiey. I could hardly believe my own
ears, and thought / must be back in
my rag-carpet covered boudoir in the
he of al