Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-01-23
,TMz&


Post.
"She seems to have lost her head over
that young man." Yes, l saw it on
his shoulder. "-Philadelphia Evening
Bulletin.
Largely Supplied.-"Are you a man
of family, sir?' Yes, sir; my third
s~on-in-law moves in to-day."-Detroit
Free Press.
Pat-"An' so We shtruck fer shorter
hours?" Mike-"Yis. We want each
wan to consist av forty minutes, be-
gorry!'-Puck.
Just in Time.-"Was our last book
a success?" "Oh, immense. The pub
fishers sent the entire edition up to my
house just as we ran out of coal.'-Ex-
change.
First M. D.-'What a lot of things
have been found in the vermiform APP
pendiX." Second Nj. D.-"And look at
the money that has been taken out of
it."-Life.
Mrs. Dearborn-"They tell me your
cook Is an angel" Mrs. Wabash-"I
reckon she is. She tried to light the fire
with kerosene this morning. "-Ionkers
Statesman.
A High Testimonial.-Lady engaging
4 maid)-"Was your last mistress sat
sfed with you?" Maid-"Well, mum,
she said she was very pleased when l
left."-Punch.
Farmer-'See here, boy! What are
70 doing up that apple tree?" Kid
Cant yer see nothin'? One of yer ap-
pies fell off de tree, an I'm tying it IN
againv'-Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Watts Trumps-"Oh, yes! We
had a delightful time. We played cards
the whole evening"" Mr.. Watts Trumps
Nonsense, Lucy! We only played be-
tween anecdotes Puck.
Literary Observation-Disclosures get
the pork sausages ut Browns, Mary;
get them at Smithson's. They do wrap
them up in such beautiful love tales,
you can't think."-Tit-Bits.
What Doughnut Is.-"A doughnut,
children said the practical teacher Of
digestive economics" is Il round hole
in the center of a compound mixture Of
dyspepsia. Baltimore News.
Lecturer-"And what man is most
apt to reach that elevation whence the
earth may be viewed as one vast
%plain?'" Voice lin the audience)-'The
one that works in a powder MILL
Life.
Manufacturing evidence.-"T'm sorry
to have to mess your face so, kitty
said Tommy, as he daubed pussy's face
with jam, 'but l can't have folks sus-
pecting me."-Columbus co. State
Journal.
The Parting Shot.-Clara (after a tiff
81 presume you would like your ring
back?' George-"Never mind; keep
it. No other girl l know could use that
ring, unless she wore it on her thumb
--Tit-Bits.
Nothing NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. (emerg-
ing from bargain-counter crush)-
! Help! My leg is broken!' Floorwalk-
er-"You will find the crutch depart.
ment, sir, on the fourth floor in the
! rear.''-Tit-Bits.
! Scientific and. Nervous Visitor Cat
] country hoteD-'I suppose there's nc
! 'ptomaine' in this pie?" Waiter quite
I equal to the occasion)-"No, sir. We
! never puts that in unless specially or
Z dered!"-Punch.
I She Tried.-"Bridget," inquired the
: mistress of the house, "were you enter
Z tanning a policeman In the kitchen last
! night?" Sure, num-" replied the cook
( lady, an it's fer him t. say how inter
! tainin' OF was. OF was dom me bist.'
( philadelphia Bulletin.
Z Remember, Pat, 1T is the hand thai
] rocks the cradle that rules a nation.''
1 "Well, begorra, yez may be roight, but
Z Dim fer thinkin' mesilf, tits the cart
+ we've got before Their boss; 'ut's thel
Z hand as cradles Their rocks phwot rules
) err nation."-EXchange.
I Playwright-"You'd better say a few
! kind words to the star before the per
s Torrance. She seems dispirited." Man
Z ager-"In what way?" Playwright
! "Well, she says there are moments
when even she doubts that she is tn,
: greatest actress in the world."-Brook
-, Ign Life.
Heartless Fellow.-Wife-"Be sure t,
advertise for Fido In the morning news
papers," Next day the wife read al
\ follows in the newspapers: Lost, J.,
NANCY lapdog, with II eye and no tail
Too fat to walk. Answers to the nam,
, of Fido. If returned stuffed, e. re
; .-.ly Ttt Dttu