Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1903-08-13
OoDoooooO

"If you refuse me shall commit sui.
side" well, pa says you can't hang
around here."-New York Evening
Sun.
Bjohnson-win you lend me your
lawn mowerS Bjackson--Yes. II you'n
cut my grass to pay for the use Of it,
Somerville Journal
Harry-She evidently made an Inn
preston with him. George-How do
you knowl Harry-I saw him devel-
oplng some snapshots Of her.-Yonkers
Herald,
Jim-Sayl II you'll notice. you'n see
that most of these big Wall street men
started on a farm. Sam-Yes. and that
Is where they learned to water stock
Princeton Tiger,
Teacher (to little 6-yearoldl-Now,
Freddie. what is volcanof Freddie
with great confidence)-0h, l know
that! It's a mountain that interrupts
all the timeLLife.
Margaret, 1 think you cheaper your
self by going 50 much to the theater
with Mr.. Jones'" "No. mother; on the
contrary, I'm making myself very
dear."-Harvard Lampoon.
ivan Major has made a fortune In
the automobile business" II didn't
know he manufactured that class OF
vehicles" HE doesn't: he repairs
them. Cincinnati Tribune.
Blggar-How do know you're
blind! Beggar-Do you suppose I'd
only ask for a nickel If could see
what q kind. liberal-lookln'gent you
be.-New York Evening Sun.
Nell-Maude has suddenly discovered
that she needs exercise. so she goes
out for a walk every day. Belle-Yes,
1 heard that she had a lot Of new
clothes.-Philadelphia Record.
Summer Boarder-I thought your ad-
vertisement said something about boat
ingl Farmer-oh, yes. We have
boat and oars-only sometimes the
creek dries uptown and Country.
Murphy-will ye give me yer prom
ise that yen love me foriver2 Bridget
Sure, an Ord loike to do that same,
Murphy. but Orm hardly of the opin-
ion that Orn lasht as long as that
Rams Horn.
He Wasn't Sure: "Stand up, Nc
Nutty," said the police magistrate;
''are you guilty or not guilty p Faith.
an it's mesilf as can't tell thot till OF
hear tn ividince." replied McNutty.-
Chicago News.
Not Too Soon: ''This is rather an
unusual hour for you to be going to
lunch. Not hungry so early. are your
mo. but l viii be by the time the
waiter condescends to notice me-
Philadelphia Press.
Shells 1t really true that the blind
can determine color by the sense of
touch? He-Sure. once knew a
blind man who was able to tell a red.
hot stove by merely putting his finger
on it."-Chicago Daily News.
Mademoiselle-By the way, count, 1t
is very awkward. but do not know
your name. Russian Count-Vould you
like to hear 1t. Most certainly" Den,
If you haf ten minutes to spare, sit
town, and 1 will tell 1t to you"
Belle-Married next week? Why,
you told US you were booked for a
personally conducted tour with a small, |
select party. MariOn-Yes, dear. But
George is the personal conductor and
I'm the small, select party.-Tit-B Bits.
The Physicians Affront: $50 you
have decided to get another physi- |
cian." II have" answered Mrs. Cum |
rox; "the idea Of his prescribing fax
seed tea and mustard plasters for peo-
pie as rich as we arer'-Washington |
Star.
"Sayw demanded the ugly individual
suddenly appearing from a dark alley,
what time is itT' You're just about
two minutes late" replied the Chicago
an; "that other gentleman you see run.
ming away has my watch."-PhiIadeL
phia Press.
Qualified: Superintendent (of gas
do you know about lay
ng gas pipes in the street? Applicant
for place as foreman)-I know they
hadn't oughter be laid until the street
has just been repaved. He got the
"Well, Jones is certainly a patient
man with a temper hard to rufie."
Patient is no name for him. Why,
that man has been known to go out
with his wife to select wallpaper and
30 through the ordeal without losing
his temper. Baltimore Herald.
Cause of the Mirth: Bridget" said
Mrs. Hyfyte, your lady friend
mustn't stay SO late hereafter. Her
nproarious laughter woke me up at /
o'clock this morning" "Yis. mum;
was tellin' her about how you tried to
make cake wan daJ."-Indianapolis
sun.
Major Dix-Do you think It's going
70 rain tomorrow, Uncle Isham? I'm.
Gle Isham-I dunno, honey. It's mighty
hahd to prognosticate. When de Lawd
had charge of de weathah l could tell
sumfn' erbout it, but sense dis yere
weathah bureau dun bin runnIn' 1t Un-
Gle Isham's had ter glib 1t up.-Judge.
Barnes-Fm afraid I'm losing my
mind. When l borrow money from
any Of my friends, I'm sure to forget
all about 1t. Howes-Why, that Is no
sign Of mental decline. On the con
trary, it shows a fine business capaci
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