Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1903-02-05
"TANGIBLE SORROW"
Az Expressed by the MOurners Mt the
0bsequies of n Departed
COlOred Brother.


lay in a rude pine box before the altar.
The church was crowded with sorrow
ing mourners; theRen sat on the right
SIDE, and the women on the left; ban
dana handkerchiefs were in evidence.
There was much shifting and wailing
and bowling. Brother j was the
preacher, and sat directly behind the
coffin, facing the congregation. He
had asked Brother Gardner the pre-
siding elder, to say a few words about
the dear departed. Brother Gardner
arose, clearing his throat vigCrourly
and wiping his eyes again and again.
He glanced toward the Amen corner,
where sat She bereaved widow Matil-
da and long row CT fatherless chill
dren. Clearing lis throat again, he
began in the most solemn and holy
tone. relates the Boston Transcript.
"Bredderin' an belubbed friends of
the po'r departed Brudder Jinkins:
We is gaddered here agin to-day to
mourn de obsequies oh dis here pillar
oh de church, him was a lily oh de
valley a flower OBJ de Hook an de
shepherd ob Israel; him Vas de best
husband an faddcr dat any oman eb-
Der had; him was a chile oh de Lord;
him was de best man dat ebber trod
de streets OBJ Fernandina, an we as
sembes to offer our sympathies to-
day to po'r Sister Matilda, an dem 10
head of fatherless chillen."
Howl after howl went up; some of
the visitors felt impressed with the
Importance of the late brother, and
sympathized deeply with the poor sor-
rowing widow, and wondered how the
church would ever get along without
him.
Suddenly Brother Johnson, the
preacher. interrupted him as he was
about to continue his fiowery praise,
and, standing on tiptoes and scream
ing out with all his might, called in
laundering tones:
"Brudder Gardner. am yo' throo'?
Am yo' throo' tellin' all dem beauti-
full lies? I want yo' to know dat mig
ger am dade; him's long way past
whar dem beautiful lies Of yourn am
gwine to do him any good whatsomeb-
Der, and hims long ways past whar
my trufe am gwine to hurt him. an
Ise gwine TO tell de truf about dat
niger! Him was the dead-beatenest
niger Fernandina ebber seed! Him
was drunk hand runnin' ebber night
TO- 40 years. Yo' an l, Brudder Gard
ner, amt done nothin' but pull him
| out oh de callabOOse thousands Of
times" (pointing to the dead; hump,
yo' know, dat's de trufe, ole man, no
! 'sputin' wild me now; lie down dar
quiet. say; de Lord knows yo' would
| be drunk dis minute if de debbil didn't
hab yo', or had any whisky dar you
could buy. I want de congregation to
stop all dat snifIin' round here ODER
dat lazy, trifin drunken niger; an
as TO- wastin' your sorrow ODER po'r
Sister Matilda an dem 10 hade OBJ fad
derless chillen. ], me, myself fink she
done made mighty good riddance Of
bad rubbish" with a loving glance to-
ward the Amen corner). AN hope
the fust young buck she'll spark will
be mel An what's more. dis here mig
ger cost me money TO- dis box to bury
him in; Ise out of pocket five dollars
an Ise gwine to be disembursed befo'
1 Leah de meetin'!
"Yo'se all sayin' yo'se sorry round
here; now Use gwine to glib yo' de
chance to show how sorry yO' am, sho
'nough; come along heah ebbery last
one of 20 AN put yo' money down in
tangible sorrow an show how sorry
yo' is; walk long up libely now an
put yo' money down.
Sister Polly Ann, yo's workin' TO
SIS month; yo' handkerchief done say
yo's sorry a lot; what yo' pocketboOk
tink about it? How sorry is yo', Sister
Polly?"
Sister Polly tucked away her hand
kerchief and sailing up the aisle, plain
lively said: Use sorry TO- bits" and
laid down so cents upon the coffin.
The preacher kept on with the col
lection. "How sorry is yo', Brudder
Gardner? come long up here an lay
down yo' money! How sorry is de
mudder oh de church,"
The mother of the church walked up
and was sorry six bits" and laid down
her money.
SLOW sorry is yo', Sister Ann"
Sister Ann grieyed to the extent of
"two bits" and so on through the con-
grcgation, the women hurried up the
aisle, proud of a chance to show off
their new frocks, and put down their
money in tangible sorrow" until an
old auntie hobbled up on her cane un-
til She reached the coffin, then Wheel
ing about and facing the congregation,
she exclaimed:
81 nebber hear de trufe told befo' at
any niger funeral, an Use gwine to
tell de trufe. Brother Jinkins was the
meanest niger de Lord ebber made,
an l amt sorry one picayune!" and
here she gave the edge of the coffin
laundering rap with her cane, so
yo' shore stole ebbery hog ebber had
} in Fernaudina."
And thus Brother Johnson called out
an honest expression of tangible sor-
row" to the amount of $10.75; IS he
put instantly into his pocket, the rest
he turned over to the widow; and in
less than two weeks he was the proud
possessor of the remainder of the
funeral money, for he bravely married
the widow and IS "head" of father
less children.
Chestnut Pudding.
Boil one pint of the large Spanish
chestnuts-remove the shells and thin
skin-press through a sieve or put