The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-02-13

Copyright, 1903, by Robert Howard
Russell.)
Once upon a Time there was a Firm
doing Business under the Name OF
HaiIfeIlOv and Crouch.
They had a large Retail Establish
nent Upon entering which the Custom
er was greeted by the mingled Odors
Of Kerosene, Roasted Coffee, Leather,
Herkhimer County Cheese, Navy Pug,
Dried apples and petrifed Goldfish. In
the good old Summer Time it was not
necessary to go into the Store in order
TO get the complicated Aroma. Farm
ers driving by could come very near
guessing what Hailfellow and Crouch
carried in Stock.
The Firm did a Nice Business and
Esed TO split quite a Piece of Money
every January LIST. But neither one
was satisfied. Each felt that he was
entitled to at least twO-thirds OF the
Net Profits.
MIR. Hailfellow was the H~dnd-Shakar
for the Outfit. His Long Suit was to
know everybody and call him by his
front Name. On every pleasant Day
1t SNSOd IA VI Ii AA~0ASAAN "AA
porium, in his Shirt Sleeves, holding q
public Levee.
He was a quiet Josher and knew a
lot OF good Jokes that he had once
heard in a Minstrel Show at Columbus,
Ohio, and that made him very strong
with the Country Trade.
Furthermore, he was a good Mixer.
He belonged to the K. P's AMI the Odd
Fellows and a few others, so that about
four Nights out of the week he would
I'LL his Pockets with mild Smokers, unu-
ally neglecting 10 make out a Ticket,
and then he would pike for the Lodge
Room and let his Partner and the Boy
with the Pink Shirt attend to the Store.
If there was an Auction Sale or a
Base Ball Game or a Circus anywhere
within a Radius of 20 Miles, then MIR.
HailfellOw would put on his Dark SUIT
and stand-up Collar and drive over,
just to get his Mind off of his Business.
In che Way and another he managed
to keep his Mind off of Business about
seyen-eighths of the Time.
Sometime, when he was around the
Store and there was a Saturday Rush,
he would have to wait on a few GUS
toners, but he was a shine Salesman
because he never could make out what
the COst-Mark meant.
Mr.. Crouch, the Partner, possessed d
Good Head for Business but he had the
Social Disposition Of a COffin-Trimmer
While Hailfellow would be up and
down the Street, kidding the local Pop
ulation and making himself well-liked.
Crouch would be in the back end of the
Store Strengthening out the Books ana
Gguring Discounts.
Crouch was at the Store by Z O'Clock
every Morning, keeping Tab, for fear
some one who was No Good would get
his Name on the Books.
Hailfellow would land In about $50
and open the Day by reading the Morn
ing Paper through from the Weather
Bulletin in front to the Testimonials on
the last Page. After which, he was
ready to so out II plant himself on
q Salt Barrel and discuss the Issues OF
the Day.
Crouch had only one Day off in four
Years and then he had TO attend the
Funeral of 4 Relative. So that wne
he did get Il Vacation there was not
much Enjoyment in II.
There was no denying his Industry
but no one liked hin. He seemed ia
have some kind of an inward Grudge
against every one who came in to buy
a Bill of Goods. If a Customer ramarh-
ed that il was a Nice Day. he dIdn'
seem to believe IL. The Trade would
not have stuck at all. had it not been
for HaiIfellow. who 4 n way OF CIV
ing Stick Candy to the Kids and beau
tfUl Colored Pictures. advertising
Breakfast Foods. TO the Women Folks.
Each Partner naturally believed that
he vas getting the Short n OF the
Arrangement. They would go home
and tell their Troubles TO the Wives.
Mrs. HaiifeIlow went around TO Sewing
Societies Il Missionary Meetings tell
ing how Mr.. HaiIfellow had TO put W
with a lot ana was really the one who
brought all the Trade 10 the Store
Mrs. Crouch loved TO Ie; her Friends
know that her Husband shaved like a
Dog while the Partner soldisred but
Just the same. always came in or thf
cUt-up Of the Profits.
When the Wives begin TO take par
in a Business Row. the Dissolution
Notice is about Due.
HailfeilOw and Crouch agreed to dis.
agree. Hailfellow took his Share and
opened a New Place across the Street
with a Gilt Sign and nickel-platet
Show Cases.
Almost Immediately IT was the mos
popular Joint in Town. st Times thert
were as many as 10 Men sitting arount
the Stove swapping Fish Stories. Hail
fellow employed = cOuple OF Clerks WI,
knew more about \ Cash Register tina
the Man that invented it.
He issued Pass-BOoks 10 all thos
who cared for his jokes. The Drum
mers would jump several Towns IN ar
der to get to him in q Hurry because
If Hailfellow liked a Drummer, Il
would order a thousand gross of Lam
Chimneys rather than appear cold an
unsociable. In n short time he had
Magnificent Stock, but he could not re
member exactly how much it cost hin
So he sold Goods at whatever SCENE
70 be Reasonable and the Farmer
drove long distances SO as 10 give hil
4y.S- T-aHa