Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-04-04

leaFheu MS part. " ale Record.
$50 you think you need a wifeg"
Yes We'll, nothing hut marriage
will dispel that ilusionr- Puck.
The bar to riches: More men would
be rich If money were as hard To spend
as it is 10 earn.-Chcago News.
Wife-'I found out something to-day
that l promised never TO tell Hus-
band-"Well, go ahead; I'm listening"
Chicago Daily News.
He-"And now l suppose I'll have to
ask YOUR fathers CONSENT She--"Not
at all, just ask mamma. She'll take
care of papa."-Judge.
Take example, Customer cat res.
tauran0-"Can see the proprietorE"
Waiter-"Nery sorry, sir, he's just
stepped out 10 lunch. Judge
Uncle William, are you troubled
about the hereafter?" mo. sub; it's
dc wharfo' er eA herein what keeps
ne guessin!'-Atlonta Constitutions
4 think 1t is silly 10 pick up a pin"
"oh, l don't know! l know = follow
that makes 81 week picking up pins"
"Get outn' YES; he works in a bowl
ing alley"
Arthur would marry that girl but
for one thing" Chester-"Afraid to
pop the question:" Arthur-'No.
Afraid to question the pop. Town
and Country.
How did your daughter DO at the
graduation exercises" Splendid"
declared Mrs, Torque; why, she was
the best dressed girl there" Balti-
more Herald.
Blibson-'T understand that South
American general has resolved TO sell
his life dearly" Glibson-''Yes; he
wants ten dollars for the library edi-
tion. Judge.
Ping-"Somc women noyelsts have
great power Of diction" Poug-'In
their home life I'll bet they show still
greater power of contradiction"-Ba
timore Herald.
First Darkey-"Dat's de mos con-
yeuicnest arranged farm l cher seen"
Second Darkcy so. De chicken
house am located in the watahmilym
patch. Judge.
Blonde Bridesmaid-"Th ushers
haven't seated your Aunt Maria with
lie family" Other Bridesmaid (sister
to the BRIDE she sent only a
pickle fork. life
The Manager-"Bully! Wen have
real horses, a real brook, real hens and
geese, and real hay The Author
And would you mind having real
actors, too?"-Life.
Mother-"Yes, Bobby; any man in
this country can be President" Bobby
-"Gosh! what lot of Holsters there
are who seem to prefer working for
two dollars a day."-Judge
80 you want my daughter?' growled
the old man. Can you support a fam
ily?" whats the matter" demanded
the sutton, suspiciously; ARE you out
of work ?"-Seattle Sunday Times.
February IA Mistress $50 you want
me to read this loye-letter 10 your
Maid-"If We PLACE, man. And I've
brought ye some cottonwood We can
stuff in yer ears while We read it,
Punch.
Il tell you that poet Is genius" "A
genius? Why his stuff is the worst
ever read" Il know" But why do
you call him a geniusY' Because he
succeeds in selling it"-Philadelphia
Record.
Mrs. Witherby Cat breakfast)-"Ar
you well?' Witherby-"Yes. Why?"
Mrs. Witherby-"Y look changed.
suppose | notice it more than those
who are with you constantly. "-Har-
per's Bazaar.
She--"After all, what is the differ
ence between Illusion and delusionY'
He-"IlIusion Is the lovely fancies we
have about ourselves; delusion is the
foolish fancies other people have about
themselves. Life.
Jocnlar Passenger TO train robber)--
when you say Hi, there" suppose
you mean you're after a raise" The
Robber-"Yep, an 1t also means you'd
better watch out, an he burned quick
about it."-Cblcago Daily News.
Cassidy htop kickin' about yer
hard luck, man, Some mornin' ven
wake up an find yerser famous"
Casey-"Faith, ON bet We whin thot
mornin' comes twill be me luck to
overslape mcsel." Philadelphia Press
How old is your babyY' asked one
Of the ncighbors. We'll" said the
Missouri farmer rejecting n moment,
"he was born the last time We had
them sevcnteeu-year locusts You kin
fgger it up fur yourself."-Chicago
Tribune.
Sllmson-'I hear you have been
fighting thar little boy next door and
that he whipped you. How did that
happen?" WillIe-"Wen, he's going to
give party next week, and l was
afraid If | licked him he wouldn't in
yite me. Harper Bazaar.
Father TO the -year-old son be.