The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-10-16

that sort of fellow philadelphia
Press.
"Ethel-"what makes you look so
pleased?'- Edfth-"Oh, Jack says I'm
the first girl he ever proposed to on his
automobile. Detroit Free Press.
Hewitt-'I'm always happy when I'm
smoking a good cigar Jewett-"You
expect your friends to contribute too
much to your happiness. Brooklyn
Life.
Physician (to patients wife)-"Why
did you delay sending for me until
your husband was unconscious?" Wife
f.,-"Well, doctor, as long as he retained
his senses he wouldn't let us send for
you-'-Chicago Daily News.
Hoogley-"when I entered your yard
last evening your dog barked at me-
| Wilby-"You could hardly expect me to
keep servants and let them fill in their
time barking at folks, and I'm too busy
myself to attend to it."-Boston Trans
cript
Sarcastic New Yorker-''The nerve of
you! Celebrating your 'centenniai
when your town is only a little over
seventy years old!'' Chicago man
That's what makes it all the more
marvellous. How many other towns
could do it?"-Chicago Tribune.
Smith, wonder what Br-wn in
tends to do with all the money he got
for those historical novels he wrote. ,"
J-n-s-"He intends to travel. He feels
that he ought to visit some of the places
he wrote about; just to see what they
are like.''-Life.
Your story said the publisher. eff
you will permit me to speak frankly,
doesn't seem TO have much literary
merit" ..But whatsiof that?' answered
the author Think of the ease with
which it can be dramatized. Chicago
Record-Herald.
Mr.. Noolywed-.sThat coat with its
bum buttonholes and one button off,
has been right before your eyes for two
weeks, and you have not taken the
slightest notice of it, Mrs. Noolywed-
'sWell haven't you ever heard that
love is blind ?'"-Washington Star.
Greene-what's your opinion of a
man who will sell his vote for money?
! Crafter-Oh, 7 never give him my
opinion. I Just hand over the money.
and let it go at that.-Boston iran
script.
Little Elmer-Papa, what is executive
Prof. Broadhead-The faculty of earn
| ing your bread by the sweat OF tnelr
peoples brows, my son.-Puck.
81 am sorry" said the earnest citizen,
ito see the love of money exertlng SO
much influence"
s1'm sorroy to hear you talk that way.
When I hear a man grieving about the
| love of money take it as pretty gooo
sign that he is suffering from unrequ1t-
ed affection. ''-Wasllington star.
Mrs. Browne-And how is that pretty
young widow? Is she reconciled to ner
loss yet? =
Mrs Malaprop-No, she amt exactly
reconciled vet, but they do say she's got
the man picked out.-Philadelph1a Press
& don't study bout de question er
how many days hit took ter make de
worP: de leadin' question wild, me is
how many days will I be in ft?"-At-
| lanta Constitution.
Look year chile" said Nanny
Brown. you come away fun dat ther-
| mometer.' j,
I was jes, loolxin' at it, protested
Pickaninny Jim.
an keep yoh hans benin yor back when
YOU looks at it. You's made trouble
enough. Member dat day you fooled
wifi de clock? Fus ting 1 knowed it
was half pas 'leven an de chickens war
goin to roos. You'll go on tamoerin'
wif dat thermometer an dis here curl
ous weather is liable to keep UP till
Christmas. ''-Washington Star.
'.Phwat's the matter wild YEP asked
Casey of McGoolin.
."T'is a bad noseb1eed OF how" re-
piled McGookin, the plumber, IAN 'Oi
can't sto-o it,
Huh! it's not much av a plumber We
are if We can't stop a leak in yer own
face Press.
Necessity" remarked the man with
the chronic quotation habit. sis the
mother of invention"
That's where you've got fat
Wheel said the contrary person. In
vention is the parent of necessity
How do you figure that out?"
We'll, take the telephone. for ex-
ample There was no necessity for it
until after it was invented. Chicago
News.
Does your wife do much fancy work.?
Fancy work? She won't even let a
out crocheting. a red border round it and
running yellow ribbon through the
| holes '-Exchange-
Look at that messenger boy dawdling
Eyes, with the Inevitable. dime novel.
too. I wonder what those things are pub
1 lished for2"
: That he who is supposed to run may
read, perhaps. ''-Fhiladelpfia Press.
The young man with the bundle under
/ of the laundry and stepped inside.
Wong he said to the meeEz-looking