The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-06-08
THIS WAS THE LIMIT.
Col. Wheaton Has a Trying Time
With the Worst Pair Of
Gillies Ever.
A Playful Skunk Figures in the
Affair Vicissitudes of the
Two Doctors.

Affair Vicissitudes of the
Two Doctors.
What Z you have got up fore day, n went
ten mile n fshed ali day N ketched nothin,
n rid back after dark, n got no supper, n
got wet thru besides. Shucks, what's that mount
to. You amt got no kick comm. Amt you
been fshin PHILOSOPHY of Colonel Wheaton.
The colonel came into the hotel with
scowl on his face as deep and dark as
that which ornamented the classic phiz
of Casey just after he struck out. He
slumped into a chair. stretched out his
legs, and informed the public generally
that he would be id. OF course nobody
asked why, for letting the colonel alone
is known to be the shortest way Of setting
him going, and it did not fail in this in
stance, for he shortly set off as thus:
i've went out with whole lot of gill
lies, an general just goin' fishin' was
enough to take the curse off, but the gang
thin stronger N that. started out 18th
four of EN-, m two was all right. Doc
tors, they was, m you'll notice that docs
is centrally all right. Dunno why tbs so,
but it sure is SO. I cal'lated to pick up
Bill Richardson out to his house, m shift
them other two gillies off onto him, n
keep the two docs myself: but jes fore
we got to Bills, here he come on boss,
'thout no saddle, N agoin' likely split. l
halted him, m he said he was off to town
after the doctor for a neighbor whose wife
was took bad, m 4 course both Of them
docs of mine pricked UP their ears n let
him know what they was. Docs is alters
trouble. even when they're out huntin'
er fishin, N they're alters fixed fer it,
too.
''Them two had each little case full
O. knives, saws, pisons n other things
docs carries, N either one + 'em could
"a killed a house full O. people f there ID
been any call fer it. One said he d go
with Bill; fac is, we was agoin' right
after him soon's he said he wanted doc
tor, then t'otf1er says he d go, like them
two id fool Frenchmens in the Sunday
papers. Ans they hadn't settled which q
go time we got to Bills gate, they both
bors, seem 'twarn't more m quarter
mile off, n didn't want to lose EN- +
could help it.
when we got there both broke into
the house, n in ten minutes one come
out m, said it was see say'ran case,
whatever n ell that is, m we better go
on an leave 'em, special as 1t was liable
to take EN- all day. He said no doctor
could go nowhere, less N it was to heaven,
thout bein' called on to doctor somebody,
n have his holiday turned into a work
day, n that's right, know
'eYou mind how our own doc tried to go
bass fshin' m got up, ct his breckfus', n
got in his buggy m was drivin' out his
front gate wen guy come larrap1n
into a family where there was 'leyen kids
already, N mother wasn't no more
wanted than nothin'. Then Wen he got
back from there there was two lumber
jacks got fightin' n he had to waste
two hours SEWN 'em up, N stoppin'
the leaks they'd made in each others
hides. BY then it was noon m he put up
his horse an cal'lated he'd eat n then
mosey off to the lake, SOS to get the eve
min fshin', anyhow. An wen he started
he didn't git a rod from his door fore
another guy was after him to come to old
Jabez's kids that had ct Injun turnip. N
w EN- he'd drug EN- back to life still an
other galoot was hot-footin after him
agin. This time drunk fool had mis-
took carbolic acid fer whisky, n twas
plum mex day fore doc got him pumped
out, m SOS the marshal could run him
in. So he never went fishin' after all, any
more'n my two docs yesterday did.
''Well, I put off with the gillies, m got
'em to Eastwood's soon's I could, n we
got to work. You never seen pulitzer day
fer trout fshin' n you never seen trout
act SO nice in your life. n you never seen
chumps sit in a boat'n square refuse to
ketch EN- like them two did, m If | was
to tell you all they done, you'd say was
lynn, which I wouldn't do no more n
George Washington could.
| First one of 'em'd hook one, bring
him up JUS out of gait reach, n then git
his line snarled, or reeled up SOS it all
1 ~ he 11,o'f
in no more, or some other id fool trick.
but alters endin' up in losin' the trout;
| N then the other'd do the same or wuss,
till I'm sure I'd a throwed fit right there
if it hadn't come noon, N we went ashore
to eat lunch
"By that time they had two trout
ketched in spite Of themselves, an three
i los seven spoons, m had only one apiece
left. So caflated we'd eat, n soon
they'd lose them two spoons they had lef',
! m then we'd have to go back to town,
! m. II get shet of 'em.
"Well, we had dinner peaceful, m was
a settin' on the bank a smokin' wen a
mis- able skunk hadn't nothin' better to
do than to come prowlin' down to where
we'd ct, alookin' fer scraps. Now II
them guys had let him lone he'd never
bothered nobody, but they jes couldn't
tho I toll EN- what they was a foolin
/ with. They had to stand Off safe dis
lance N cast at the beast, m final one
of 'em ringed him fair roun' the neck
/ N the hooks went into his hide good r
deep. Even then the skunk didn't shoot
m if the fool with the rod had cut the
line like I told him. it would gone of
i an no harm done. But he must play him
some, an first thing he knowed he go1
it fair n square. crope up m got hi:
rod where the skunk'd drug it into. the
bresh, m broke the line, n then 1 tool
him over an left him in the woods be
low Eastwood's vile men t'other felle,
went Jpn, got a pair of breeches fe1
him to wear to town. Eastwood give u.
a. old pair fer him, an fever you saw
peacock with his tail fresh pulled out
! you know how that Teller looked
4 1--WE picked up the. two docs on tn,
way to town, foun' 'em at Bills, m the,
4 joshed the life out of that Teller all tn,
way in. Said he'd have to be see sayret
4 fore he'd ever get out of them breaches
m they'd do it fer him fer love'f he'd lie
EN-. BY the way they said the SCI
say'ran OPERATION they'd done for Bill,
neighbours wife was perfec' success, blu
heerd Bill tell his wife both was deat