Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-02-21

Dis is certainly fine. hracin' wealth
"a, remarked Weary Raggles to Tired
Tatters. Yes" replied Tatters; II
braeed six men fer a dime dis mornin'
AN on'y got one refusal. Cincinnati
Compercial Tribune,
A man With an unusually large
mouth has the habit of opening it on
Some occasions very wide His dentist
the ether day administered mild re-
hke: Not SO wide. please; | prefer
ia stand outside and work"
Summed Up: The Widow want a
man TO Go odd Jobs about the house.
ran on errudS, one that never answers
back, and is always ready 10 do my
bidding. applicant You'~a looking for
husband, ma'am. New York Life
y Natural Question: Have you any
two-cent stampS:" inquired the victim,
after paying his bill at the Bong Tong
liopI = think so. replied the clerk;
Sow many 90 you WANT" How
puca are tiey apiece Philadelphia
Press
"rhese Amerlcanos. cries the af-
fIighted Tagal, are cannibalS."
Whatever gave you such an idea Z
asks the Moro. Il Just heard Que of
those soldiers ask that pretty school
teacher to come ana eat Il Filipino with
him What-to-Eat
Are thcy fond Of their New York
homer "Oh, awfully fond They
spend their winters in Florida. their
springs in Lakewood, their summers
At Newport and their autumns ut
I.enoX. bur they are simply devoted to
their New York home"'- Exchange.
Convinced: DO you read Dickens?"
No said Mrs. Cumrox, rather loft
ily. Perhaps you are one of those
who do not regard him as representing
The best literaturcE" Il am. / have
seen his books offered for sale as cheap
as - cents n copy. Washington
star.
Very Unromantic: They had one
OF the strangest marriages recorded
for a long time" 'In what respcctt"
in every respect. Why. both parents
OBJ both sides We're present. there was
nothing sudden or secret about it. yud
their own clergyman performed the
ceremony. Judge.
The Lesser EVIL: Charley. dear"
said young Mrs. Torl1ins, Il hope YOU
viii never conceal 1t from me when
you bet on a horse race" Won't you
be angry If | lose?" Not as angry
sas / would be if you were to win and
not let me know about it."-Wash-
ington Evening Star
Mrs Bizzy i am SO sorry to hear
that your wife has been throwing the
crockery at you again, Casey. Where
did she hit you? Casey Faith, ma'am!
That's what Oh do he afther complain
in ay. Twas n whole set av dishes
broke 10 pieces, an she niyir hit me
wanst.- Brooklyn Life.
You have just as much right and,
theoretically, just as good chance
as anybody else TO be President" says
the patriotic citizen 10 his neighbor.
II cannot agree with YOU" signs the
neighbour we have no children, and
that fact alone would lose me the pho
toGfapher's vote Judge.
Miss Mainchantz suppose you've
heard Of my engagement to Mr. jerks.
MISS Ascot Yes, and confess | was
surprised. You told me once that you
wouldn't marry him for million dol.
lars. Miss Mainchantz-I know, dear,
but ! discovered later that he had two
millions. Philadelphia Press.
Wished TO be Prepared: I'm hungry,
sir, said the beggar: won't you give
me enough to get a meal?" Here, my
good man" said Mr.. Pompus, heres
a penny for you" "Oh. think you.
SIR, by tho way. have you got pep
sin tablet about you? l always get
dyspepsia when / oyereat myself. -
Tit-Bits
Showed What She Could DO: Phoxy
Il got a good square meal last night,
the first in several weeks. and | have
you to thank for it. Friend Me 10
THANK: Well, that's news to me
PhoXy-Yes. | know. l tclcphoned to
my wife yesterday that You were com
Ing out to dinner with -Philadcl.
phia Press
Selected Names: First Matinee Girl
That woman looks like an actress.
DO you know what her name is? Sec
ond Matinee Girl-She was a Miss
Ethel Johnson before she married
George Billings, whose stage name is
Alfred de We're, but she is known pro.
fessionally as Euphemia rockingham.
brooklyn Lie.
Feminine Progression: First she
wondered If any man was really wor-
thy of her" Yes "Then she won
dered which man was the most worthy
Of her" Yes" Then she wondered
which Of several worthy men she had
refused would come back to her"
Yes" And then she began to won
der what man she could get"-Tit-
Bits.
He was wandering in Ireland. and
came upon couple Of men ''in hollis"