Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-10-16
N0NNNN-NN~ON

III any one OF them. Judge.
She-What are you thinking Of,
dear: He-The dearest person on
earth. She-You conceited old thing.
The Household Ledger.
Held like to meet Miss Bond. She
Why? Il hear she has thirty thou
sand year and no incumbrance." "Is
she looking for one?-Life.
Il told papa your poems were the
children Of your brain" what did he
say Said they were bad enough to
be put in the reform school,"
That said Willie, as he launched
a heavy volume at his little brothers
head, ''is the coming book. It's bound
to make hit. columbia Jester.
The Anxious Mother-Are you sure
my son has appendicitis? The Emf
nent Specialist-We can tell you bet
ter, madam, after the operation -
Life.
Pat-How does yez loike Goldfish
balls? Mike-Faith! an l niver tend
ed one: but it's big tonnes I've had
down at the tireman's hop.-Lippin-
colts.
Lord Littlecash Qovingly)-You are
my soul. Edith-Yes; l told papa that.
"Oh, what did he say" Said you
didn't earn enough to keep your soul
and body together Judge.
Patience-Before he married her he
couldn't do too much for her. but now
he wouldn't lift his hand to help her.
Patrice-WelI, you know she says she
has made another man of him!
Running an auto must be exciting"
said the friend. 1T is" said the own
er Every time you stop you wonder
II the machine will start again when
you are ready."-Brooklyn Life.
Amelia-You don't seem interested
Ill summer schools. Emily-Summer
schools. Oh, gracious, in hot weather
1t Is all | can do to hold on to the lit
tie | already know.-Detroit Free
Press.
Father when l graduate | am GO
ing to follow my literary bent and
write for money "Humph! My son,
you ought to be successful That's all
you did the four years you spent at
college,
Ethel saw sister sitting on your
lap last night and told mother. Young
Man-What in the world did you do
that for? Ethel-She told me to let
her know when there was any good
news.-Life.
All. she signed, the great men are
all deadn' But the beautiful women
are not, he answered Then she look
ed up into his eyes and told him she
had said 1t just to be contrary and not
because she thought it for moment.
"One wife too manyr exclaimed Mrs.
Wederly, as she glanced at the head
lines of her husbands paper. Il sup
pose that Is an account of the doing
of some bigamist" Not necessarily.
my dear" replied her husband, with
out daring to look up.
Young man." said the stern parent
~ wv "ppiiNbhl lbl .loD us SOtl-lIl-
law, Il want you to know that | spent
five Thousand dollars on my daugh-
ter's education" Thanks" reioined
the youth who was trying to break
into the family circle; then won't
have to send her to school again.
Chicago Daily News
While Arthur was spending a week
at his aunts he Glanced one day to
place his elbows on the table during
dinner. MY dear boy" said his aunt
don't you know that children of the
first families must never put their el.
bows on the tableT "Oh, we'll" said
Arthur that doesn't hit me for NV
fathers been married twice, and be-
long to the second family"
Officer. TO new Scrvant-Nlurphy
have left my mess boots out this morn.
Ing. | want them solcd. Private Muir
phy-Nery good sir. officer later in
the day-Did you take those boots.
Murphy? Private Murphy, feeling in
his pocket and putting Oh the table
eighteenpcncc sir: and that's all
l could get for thin. The corporal
who bought thin said he would have
given two shillins If it had been pay
day.
In Earnest THEM have noticed"
said the off.hand philosopher that a
woman will get Il golfdress when she
has no intention to play golf" That's
so," agreed the man with the incan.
descent whiskcrs. And" continued
the ofr-hand philosopher, ''she will get
Il ball.gown when she cares nothing
about dancing. and tennis-drcss
Nyhan Shn ynulIn't nlnv tannis fn, f,,.