Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-01-28
- =. SIZES
Kls7z5z'1@s f1n

| yer duHer. w ndt tlme does yer amer
get up?"
Pat-An' so yez shtruck fer shorter
hours? Mike-Yis. We want each
wan to consist av for-rty minutes, be.
| gorry!-Puck.
| Didn't you hear the doorbell, Bird.
/ get?" yes, num-" ''Well, why didn't
you answer it?" 81 did answer it;
said oh, fudge! num-"
AIistress-Can you draw this fowl,
Bridget? Bridget (who has been
brought up on praties and buttermilk)
No, mum! OF can't wrote, let alone
draw!
Stella-I came near missing pro.
posal last night. Bella-You did?
Stella-Yes. He got down on his
knees, and thought he was merely
looking for ping-pong ball.-Harper's
Bazaar.
agistrate-Rastus, 1 see you are
here again. l believe you have been
tried and convicted seven times for
stealing. Rastus-Yes, jedge, it seems
to be nuttin' but trials and temptations
wild me in dis life.
Mamma" cried little Willie from
the bathroom, please get me another
! SPONGE" "Why, what's the matter
with the one you haye?" asked the
mother cts full of holes, and leaks
awfully," was the reply.
Borem-"I'm something of mind
Borem-"Yes; can usually tell at
glance what a person thinks of me-"
Miss Hittem-"Wonderful But don't
you find it awfully embarrassing?
Bookkeeper-I would like little
more salary, sir. You see, I'm married
now, audi. Employer-And need
the increase for your family? Book
keeper-No, sir; for myself. You see,
my wife knows just what I'm getting
now!
What is the meaning
of one-twenty-fifth?" Boy-'I-I don't
remember Schoolmaster-"If you
had twenty-five friends visiting you,
and only one apple for them, what
would you do?" Boy-'I'd wait till
they'd gone and then eat it myself"
4 Tommy has been making a study Of
etiquette. When his little sister was
opening the door to leave the nursery
he pulled her back by the hair and
elbowed her out of the way. Don't
you know, you ignorant little thing"
he said, Indignantly, that It's a gentle
mans place to open the door for u
ladyT"
Miss NIug-I don't understand how
your sister failed to find me at the
station. You said you would describe
me to her. infatuated Lover (who
sees n good deal more in Miss Mug
than other folks can)-Yes, l told her
to look for a beautiful girl, with the
face of Madonna and the form Of
a sylph. It's queer she missed you.
"Ah" he said as they We're explor-
ing among the rocks back of the hotel,
"here is Lovers Lane Let's go
through" "That deep place there,
where 1t is so dark, with the steep.
rocky sides?" Eyes. Come on"
I'm afraid you would kiss me if we
were down there alone together" mo.
honest!" "Well then we may as well
remain up here"
Mrs. WinksNSA peehier was here to-
day, and got frta greatest bargain-a
whole pound of insect powder for only
ten cents. 1t looks just like dirt, but
it's awfully effective, tried 1t. Mr..
Winks-7Worked, eh? Mrs. Winks-
Tes, indeed. The peddler said should
put little. liz water and apply It boil
ing hot, and did, and 1t killed every
insect 1t touched.-New York Weekly.
johnny (who is Jealous of mammal
Mamma likes me better than she does
your Evelyn (who enjoys teasing)-
why, no, Johnny, of course she loves
Betty and me best! Just think, she was
our mother long before she was yours!
Johnny (scornfully)-"Huh, what of
tlH,t? You are nothing but a sample
copy, anyhow! And Betty's only trial
subscription! But I'm the real thingw
Life.
"Have you seen Mrs. Connyshaw's
wonderful collection of old china?"
YES" replied Mrs. Fussilove, II have;
and can't say that it gives me good
opinion of the Connyshaws' social posi-
ton" Dear mel" said the other lady.
How is that?" well, you see," ex.
planned Mrs. Fussilove, ''they can't
ever have kept many servants, or they
would never have had all that china
unbroken"
You, boy" exclaimed the colored
woman, "what is you gwineter do wifi
dat watermillion?" The urchin looked
surprised for n moment, then grieved
and then scornful. Placing his burden
of sweetness OH the curbstone, he re-
piled: "I's gwineter git can o vahn-
ish an vahnish 1t; den is gwineter git
a yahd O. red ribbon an tie aroun' 1t
an hang 1t to de chandelier in de pah-
lor fob ohnament SOS we kin look
at it an enjoy oursel'fs while Yves eat
am hahd-tack."
Poetical and pedantic young lady
walking in the wood with elderly and
learned professor. ooh, Mr. Book
worm, look at that magnificent oak!
Let us stop one minute. must tell
him how the sight of such beautiful
trees raises keen emotions in my soul;
because, you know, I'm sure they can
hear us and enjoy compliment as
well as you do. You superb oak what
would you say if you could talk?" ~
believe l can be his interpreter, dear
Miss Hopkins. He would most likely
say, Beg your pardon, miss; I'm a
beechv"
Maine Geographical Names.
Names rivers, lakes and mountains