Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1903-12-05

age in the stature of some of the mag.
natcs.'
49,
The next American heiress who mar.
rics Il duke might make n good thing
out of IT by hiring a hall and charging
admission.
A man eloped the other day with the
hired girl. 1t was mean trick to play
OH his wife, with girls us scarce as they
are at present.
An eastern millionaire gave several
Of his friends presents of houses and
lots the other day. 1t Is well to keep
one good millionaire Oh your visiting
list.
A scientist estimated that the earth
will last for 1OO,OO0,OOO years longer.
This will give ma time to look In the
glass once or twice more before start.
ing for the theater.
All one has TO do now In order to
get a seat in the New York Stock Ex-
change IL to save up 5000 week for
only one year. The price has fallen.
AZ
The car has promised Emperor vii.
liam not to declare war against Japan
under any circumstances. Is the EN-
perOr trying to ruin the German gun
and the Missouri mule busincssY
After the American Public Health
Association gets through with the
sleeping cur blanket 1t might with
equal propriety tackle the hotel bed
quilt.
Lieutenant Peary says the United
States should extend from Panama to
the pole. Evidently Pcary has grudge
Of some kind against South America.
The Mexican plan Of poisoning every
victim OF yellow fever ns soon us the
malady develops IL another reminder
that more work Is to he done before the
western hemisphere IL freed from the
influence Of early Spanish methods.
An Arkansas man who weighed O1G
pounds died the other day from infiam.
matory rheumatism. 1t must have been
terrible to have infiammntOry rheuma.
tism that was bad enough to work it,
way through 90 pounds.
~9A
Berlin physicians claim to be able tC
substitute ivory for human bones u
surgical operations. Eventually there
may be some significance to this talk
about certain men having heads like
billiard balls.
A New York man signed his love let
tiers "Swak." This. according to thu
lady who got the letters and % using
them rs evidence In Il suit for breach
OF promise means "sealed with kiss.
Guilty or not, the man who swakke'
should be swatted.
~
4 banking authority says that TIN
next panic Is coming In 1913, with thu
following boom days" In 1915. II thu
IL the case. the way to get rich IL t
buy million dollars worth Of stocks
In 1915. Don't be In Il hurry. Think |
over, ana be collecting the million.
Mr.. Carnegie talks about watere,
stock with all the calm of a man VIII,
never ventured into finance withou
his overshOes.
Reports from U,ah indicate thai
Trinidad has not the only large sup
ply of asphalt. The fall In level OF
the Great Salt Lake has left sevcra
islands In the north arm which pro
spectOrs say are composed Of asphalt
of good quality. incidentally this dis
cOvery should throw some light Oh the
origin of the lake itself.
"Is this domestic rug?" said q
tourist to one of the White House ush
ers. "Oh. no." was his reply. ut was
made In New Jersey" The speaker
was not working off an ancient joke
He evidently had In mind the time
when rug-making was the occupation
of many domestic tireside during the
long winter months. There Is a differ,
ence between domestic" and "hOme,
mode"
~
In the return Of nine woe-begone
negroes from an unsuccessful attempt
to grow cotton In Liberia we may see
an event Of international Importance
The party consisted originally of fifty.
six persons, and was sent to Africa
last year by company of Southern
planters to test the cottOn-grOwing pos
sibilities of that region. The spot Sc.
lected was supposed to be favorable
| D., tho IN lint ba ,rn,, rn<xa1 ~.