The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-25
Stories They ell

SaOs 4OS u uCy i CAA
Summer brings all sorts of queer
things" said the Summer Widower,
whose family is away for a vacation.
Since my family went away 1 have
closed my house and gone to a sub
urban boarding house to live. There
are two or three other men there, and
as they have lived in the quiet licality
before, they are used to all the local
peculiarities.
'The other night. after supper, the
women went out to sit on the trout
porch, and we men We're about to fol-
low, when a little man said to my
neighbor at the table: I'll play you
'knOckerino" for the cigars
." All right said the neighbor.
Il tried to find out what 'knockerino'
was. but 1 was simply told to come out
on the porch and watch the players
I'VE took seats with the women. and
1 waited for the game to begin but
nothing happened. Finally. the little
man pointed to a young woman pass
ing the house, and said to the COM
pany in general:
That's a pretty hat that that lady
has on There was silence for a frac-
ton of a second. and then three
women answered at once: Humph!
IIGlIy CcllI II q IL lSllI.
my neighbor quietly passed the lit
tie man a cigar.
I'm a few minutes woman walked
by.
'''That's rather a handsome woman
observed my neighbor
again there was silence. and then:
don't think she's very handsome.
She's dressed like a perfect fright
''The little man quietly passed the
cigar hack tO NV OeighhOr
"Of course. this puzzled me. but the
little man afterwards explained:
"'You see, he said, we take turns.
make a remark in favor of some
woman who is passing If the other
women knock" at her 1 win. If. by
chance, they fail to contradict me. L
lose. You don't often lose. "
An army officer, connected with de-
partment headquarters here, who was
in South Africa during the recent war,
tells the following story at the ex-
pense of the Imperial Yeomanry.
corps that was recruited principally
from the farming districts of Great
Britain.
ut occurred about a year or so prior
to the close of the Boer war, during
the pursuit CD of Gen. Christian De-
wet through the Orange river colony.
Forming a part of the British force
were several troops of the Imperial
Yeomanry that had displayed a great
er aptitude for being taken prisoners
than for inflicting any great harm on
the enemy.
Following one of the willy Boer
leaders unexpected swoops on an I'M
protected flank, with the usual re-
sulting capture of half hundred cav
alrymen and some wagons. a tired
yeomanry man, minus his horse and
Jol6 n hnn ri tn
British camp. The experience was not
a new one to him. for twice before he
had been an enforced guest of the
Boer general and been sent back empty
handed. This time he bore a letter
which he had been instructed to de-
liver to the commanding officer. When
it was opened 1t read:
"'Please chain this man up; I'm
tired of him.
=" Christian Dewet.'"
Charles Mott, general emigration
agent of the Northern Pacific railway,
was standing near the desk at the
Ryan hotel last week when William j.
Bryan came to settle his bill. Mr.. Mott
describes the incident as follows:
1.-THE apostle of free silver asked how
much he owed and the clerk replied
that he could get off with $3.50. Bryan
then pulled from his purse seven sill
yer dollars and a fifty-cent piece, which
he handed over the counter to the
clerk, who examined them as he count
ed them.
Always consistent, Mr.. Bryan. I
see, remarked the clerk. Nothing but
silver
eyes. sir. silver is the thing re-
sponded the silver-tongued SPELL
binder.
"'But see by the dates interposed
the clerk. that they were all made
during the term of William Mckinley
Bryan did not say word" said Mr..
Mott, land 1 think he could not appre-
ciate the joke"
Something for nothing is an attrac-
ton that never fails to get the ma
iority, but it was left to the tasty
looking stick pins which the Carnival
association has been giving away the
past week to demonstrate the insisten-
cy of the masses.
ran out, and ever since that date the
association has been busy answering
questions as to why it did not get
some more.
Daily the seekers for these pins
throng the headquarters and burden
the secretary with their request for
just one. but it remained for woman
max
Got any souvenir pins?" she asked
the other day.
Not one" meekly replied the Sec
rotary. 1--WE are all out"
Not any pins?" she screamed.
why 1 thought 1 left an order for
come a week ago. It's a shame. I
wanted one of those pins for my boy
so bad" she continued in a grieved
manner.
Madame" the secretary started to
explain.
Don't madame me-" she snapped.
'That is just the way all you fellows
start You Just didn't intend to save
me one"
Further words were useless. Expla-
nations only made matters worse. and
the secretary turned to other matters
while a street gamin peeped over tn
desk and piped. Got any buttons. mis-