The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-11-25

that he must be taken ana LndL the war
den would show him no mercy. he had
committed suicide to end it all.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
"How old are your" the school teach
er asked the new student.
six years old" lisped the little one.
when were you six?" asked the
'.The day our hired girl came" said
the little one, Observation-Disclosures
DiSDatc
Shea fool and his money are soon
parted.
He-True. and a fool and her money
are soon wedded--Yonkers Statesman.
Carrie-I had two offers of marriage this
week.
thought your engagement was secret
Puck.
4 believe a flying machine with an oil
What makes you think SOP
you 20 no6ese eHw Plain
Dealer.
ton went in your part of the country
of course | am" answered s,T ed IS senator Hat;o
fed I wouldn't have had it go that way"
Washington Star.
Calvert, jr-Beats all how those three
clergymen are getting nearly all the mar
riages to perform, while the others are
BaIty Moore-Looks as if they had form
ed a sort of a wedding ring, doesn't lt?-
Baltimore American.
Camera F'iend-Shan I take you,
Miss Passee-Oh, you original man!
How sudden!-Houston (Tex) Post.
I'm sorry" said the medium, but
the spirit of your deceased wife does
not seem to materialize."
How is that?" asked the searcher
after truth.
.sWell-er-I have received a COM
munication that they are holding a
bargain sale in the spirit land, and the
lady is right in the midst of a regular
football rush. Judge.
Those spots on the SUM- said the
turbance is going on
You don't say So" spoke up the
Chicago citizen. Il wonder if it's a
football game, auto race. election day,
or is some solar mayor looking for
grafters ?"-Chicago News.
Mary had a little lamb,
She called it Mary Ann,
But
The butcher called it mutton.
Whewi!!
How old was Mary's Ann?
Rome (Ga.) Tribune.
The beautiful Claire had from Ore,
Away with her husband, young Hore.
(She pronounced his name so.
Which was Harry, you knowD
The latest and SWEETEST autore.
Diagram: Oregon, Horny gone auto
rig on. This is the limit by, way of a
| Limerick. Kindly read according to the
accents, as marked. Otherwise, the
rhythm will limp. Thanks )-New Or
! leans Times-Democrat-
There's one thing I will say" re
marked Mr.. Cumrox and that is that
my daughter Arabella has a fine dis
position!' ''Indeed?" Yes, sir; the
herself play on the piano shows re-
markable self-control." - Washington
Star.
''she says she believes only half what
she hears"
yes; but she hears twice as much as
most people. Judge.
She (reproachfully)-Befo we were
married you used to say you couldn't
live without me-"
He-A man never knows what he car
do till he tries.-Life.
s'Dese race problems is sumpiu' terri.
| ble." said Mrs. James Collihour.
Oats whut dey is" answered Mr.
| Erastus Pinkley. TITS gettin' 50 dt
bosses is hahder to beat dan policy
Washington Star.
81 don't suppose any woman evel
than I have" How fortunate fol
yorktown and Country.
Fortune Teller-"A light man will
,
Fair Client-"C-can't you make it {
dark man with money - Fortune
Teller-''yes. but that will cost you 5
cents more. Chicago Daily News.
''your Uncle Jim is a good deal of {
statesman. isn't hep" Yes" said tn
young man with a last summers straw
hat He's a statesman. He's beer
time. but every time he runs for offic'
he gets beat''-Washingt Star.
Hobkins-''You are always pratins
about the joys of heaven. but motto
you don't appear to be in any hurr.
to go there" Millings-''My dear boy
you know 1 think a great deal of you
and 1 do hate to break away from yol
forever, you know."-Boston Tran
scrint.
McJigger-'sThe lines in his new com
ic opera are exceedingly witty. He
cutie 4 1870 - = ret ist, -hingunl
bob-~Yes. re IT illy has a remark
able memory. Philadelphia Press.
She-What is 'foolkilIer," anyway
He-I don't know. I never met one
She-Naturally.-Ph Ledger
Nice Old Man-Supposing you were n
engineer. my little man, how would yol
! stop a railroad train?
Good Little Boy-Get It checked at tn
baggage room.-PhAadespl.a ~e-egr aph.