davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-12-19
Help.

Ferdy-I put in a good word for
you. old chap. told her you had more
money than brains.
Algy--And what did she say then?
Ferdy-She asked me If you had any,
mOney-Puck
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-12-19
Chicaxo Conn den ces

Twas married to that man once. said
the first Chicago woman,
"To Mr.. Marryat? The ideal Way.
so was l." replied the other.
"YCu don't say? We're you before OK
after NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Catholic
Standard and Times
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-12-19
The CharitnhTo sex.

Miss De Bloom certainly has bean--
tiful complexion" ssiG the man at the
dancing school.
"Oh. yes" rejoined the kind hearted
girl; but I'm afraid 1t won't wash
Cincinnati Enduirer. i
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-12-19
Trouble on the Mig Road.

Met trouble on de big road.
He tell me: "Howdy-do? at
He ak me; "Whar you gwiner'
tell him: Fur fun you
He say: "Pn keep you comp'ny
De lonesome way en- long"
But Mister Joy come down de road
Ia skeer him Wild r. song.
Atlanta Constitution
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-12-19

Celeste-Wby does Chumpleigh hang
around here so much?
Marie--He is considered an Al judge
of dogs.
Celeste-Wouldn't It be better to
call him a K9 judge?--Boston Globe.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
An African Caterpillar.

An account comes from Il traveller in
South Africa that will considerably tax
the believing powers of those who know
only the tame fauna of the British isles ::
The traveller was musing one morning
with his eyes on the ground when he no
ticed a caterpillar crawling along at a
rapid pace. Pushing him was Il host
OF small ants. Being quicker in their
movements the ants would catch up to
the caterpillar and one would mount his
back and bite him. Pausing the cater
pillar would turn his head and bite and
kill his toTmentor.
We also pause TO remark that the Eng
liSh caterpillar that could perform this
e at is not known TO US. There may be
Some who could seize and bite an ant
hut we think there is not one that could
pick the insect off its own back. Many
can beat the enemy off with a side blow
of the head, and the larva of the puss
moth has a pair of long red whips that
shoot from two turrets behind and per-
form the same office.
We have not, howcver exhausted the
wonders OF our South African caterpil-
lar.
After Strengthening dozen or more of
his prosecutors, continues the narrative,
the caterpillar showed signs of fatigue
The ants made Il combined attack. Be
taking himself to Il stalk Of grass; the
caterpillar climbed up tail first, followed
by the ants.
This is variant of the well known
story of the cobra which crawled out of
genteman's bathroom through the waste
pipe. Unfortunately, SO far as we know.
neither snakes nor caterpillars can pro-
ceed backward. so that we may dismiss
the question as to whether they would
have the sense 10 adopt such tactics
when pressed The ants in the narrative
having been beaten in a frontal attack
adapted sapping operations. They sawed
down the stalk. and when the unfortun-
promptly despatched him and marched
off in triumph, leaving the foes dead
body on the field" \ final question pre-
SCENTS itself. Why did they kill him if
they did not wish to eat him Animal
I
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
RlSTORPS TROUBLES.
A Slain Child Comes to Life to the De-
light of the Audience.

The first item on the long roll of Euro
pean trlumphs is Paris, 1852 when
Adelaide kistori reated Medea. The
part had been refused by Rachel. ana
the Italian actress, out of deicacy to-
ward her great French sister artist, de-
clined to undertake it. Legouve. moth
ing daunted, sent her the MS, but she
would not even read it, so repugnant to
her was the scene in which AIedea kills
her children. He assured her that the
action need not take place before the
footlights; but she remained infIexible
until one day, when her hair was being
dressed, she took up the MS and could
not put it down. She sent for Legouve,
and expressed her readiness to undertake
Medea. The costumes were designed by
AIRY Scheffer, who himself on the evening
of the performance arranged the folds Of
Medeas mantle, and the play was Il tri-
umphant success.
The children were killed on the stage,
and the process was always trouble
some one. First one would try TO run
off the stage; then another would pull his
mothers mantle to make her go too; a
third was frightened at the people and
tried to hide; a fourth was afraid to
come down the 'practica BILE" hill; but the
climax was reached when n child, who
was already slain, got up again and ran
roaring into the slips, to the no small de-
light of the audience.-Italian Review.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
A Zig Medicine Man

Members of the council who live in the
vicinity of the Snake council grounds
report considerable doing among the
Snakes, since the return OF Crazy
snake and his followers from the peni-
Tertiary. They have Il prophet 10y the
name of Wakache. He claims 10 he
gifted with Superhuman wisdom. ana Ia
be IN constant consultation with tho
Great Spirit, whose directions he imparts
TO his followers. An exchange saws.
He has been furnished from on higb
with supernatural fire which never roes
out. lie has lighted sticks of wood from
this fire and given them 10 each of tho
forty-four Indian towns with iniupction
to keep the same constantly turning,
which is TO be typical of the revival and
continuance of the old government cus-
toms and laws of the Creeks. The
prophet calls around his eamp men ana
women who dance around his sacred fire
and play ball, and perform o her did
customs Of the Greeks. including drink
ing of medicine and daily bathing in
the running streams. He is also n healer
of the sick and that fact alone iuSurcS
large following. kansas City Jour,
nal.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
Freaks of the Mont Pelee Eruption.

Prof. Angelo Heilprin, in an address
on the Mont Pelee eruption, delivered to
the Geographical Society last night, said
the first phase was the emission from
the crater of a brown-cOlored cloud which
was impelled to a vast height. Almost
simultaneously a black cloud, intensely
luminous, shot downward toward the city
and when over st. Pierre was shattered
by a tremendous lightning stroke which
sent the death-dealing blast in all direc-
tons.
Some of the freaks of the destruction.
he said, were inexplicable. In one case
body was found scorched to a crisp and
beside ii lay box of matches untouched
by fire. Jewel boxes were picked up with
he exterior unseathed. and the trinkets
Inside fused in d solid mass. The adj
slides, some of which showed the Mount
Pelee crater in full eruption at close
range.-Philadelphi Record
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03

as popular in many localities as itIye
Cream Balm solid. 1t is prepared for
use in atomizers, and is highly priced by
those who have been accustomed to cail
upon physicians for such a treatment.
Many physicians are using and prescrib
ing it. All the medicinal properties of
the celebrated Cream Balm are contained
in the Liquid form, which is * cts. in.
Guiding spraying tube. All druggists,
or by mail Ely Brothers, SO Warren
street, New York.
Mcssrs. ELY BROS.:-I sold YOUR
Liquid Cream Balm to Mr.. VIM. Lamber-
ton, 14l5 Delachaise street, New Or.
leans; he has used two bottles, giving
him most satisfactory results.
GEO. w. M'DUFF. Pharmacist.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
A Wonderful Lam

\ new lamp has been invented that
burns principally air and gives a most
brilliant light. As an example of its
light power this lamp can be hung in the
center of room 100 feet long and will
give enough light to read the finest print
at either end of room. or fifty feet
away from lamp. For stores. halls
and churches this is the cheapest light on
earth. Burns 90 per cent. air and only
10 per cent. oil. Costs 1-3 cents nm
hour. II. p. FRANKIE, the heavy light
man, l3S Third street, Milwaukee, Wis.
pleased 10 send catalogue and price list
upon request.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
CHEAP GERMAN LABOR.
Hand Work Costs Farmers in Fatherland
Less Than Use of Machines.

In a recent report to the department of
state on the use of agricultural machines
in Germany, Oliver j. ID. Hughes. consul
general at C0burg, calls attention to the
fact that many of the machines offer no
advantages, as it is cheaper to utilize
hand labor. In the course of his report,
Mr.. Hughes says:
1T seems to me that while the small
tradespeople lof Germany must be sup
planted or absorbed by larger rivals, this
cannot he said of the agriculturists. as the
small farmer possesses many advantages
over the large land owner. which show
that the small farmer has a good chance
to compete with the large land owner in
the present as well as in the future
Certain branches of agriculture. as for
instance, the so-called spade CIVILIZATIONS,
are only possible and profitable on the
lands of the small farmer, as the larger
land owner has To have this work done
by the use of machinery, which is more
expensive, or ut least costs more in cash
outlay
For instance, the expense caused by
the use of Il grain-Sowing machine is II
cents per hectare, while the cost for hand
labor IS only lUl2 cents: further still. the
mnnure-Scatterng machine costs 20
cents, as against Is cents for hand labor,
the self hinding grain machine costs
S2GI, as against S2Gl for hand labor.
Finally, | may say that the potato ANA
turnip gathering machines also cost more
than hand labor, although | am unable ~
present to give the exact figures"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03

The best guarantee of the future Is
the record of the past and over fifty
thousand people have publicly testified
that DOan's Kidney Pills have cured
them Of numerous kidney ills, from
common backache to dangerous dia-
betes, and all the attendant annoyances
and sufferings from urinary disorders.
They have been cured to stay cured.
Here Is one case:
Samuel ]. Taylor, a retired carpen-
ter, residing at 312 South Third street,
Goshen, Ind. says: "On the 25th day
Of August, 1897, | made an affidavit
before Jacob C. Mann. notary public.
stating my experience with DOans
Kidney Pills. l had suffered for thirty
years and was compelled at times TO
walk by the aid of crutches, frequent
ly passed gravel and suffered excru-
tiatingly. l took every medicine on
the market that l heard about and
some gave me temporary relief. l be-
gan taking DOan's Kidney Pills and
the results | gave to the public in the
statement above referred to. At this
time, on the 10th day of July 1902,
make this further statement that dur
Ing the five years which have elapsed
/ have had no occasion to use either
Doans Kidney Pills or any other med
icine Tor my kidneys. The cure eff
fected was a permanent one"
a FREE TRIAL of this great kidney
medicine which cured Mr.. Taylor will
be mailed on application to any part
of the U. S. Address Foster-Milburn
Co, Buffalo, N. Y. For sale by all
druggists, soc per box
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
Popular in Town.

Grand View. Iowa. Dec. DIT.
most complete satisfaction is expressa5
in this district overs results .obtafnoi
recently by using Dodd's Kidney PIus
for those complaints resulting from d.
eased Kidneys. This satisfaction 0nJ,
frequent expression in words. pennI3
who have been cured seem To taEo
pleasure in telling of 1t. Take who.
Mrs. Lydia Parker says for examine.
Il was troubled with Backache +" saws
Mrs. Parker, land all the time ybo1
was STOPPING over stitch would toka
me in the back and could not strslgb+
en- up for a while.
81 sent and got a couple of boxes ~
Dodd's Kidney Pills. and before I had
finished taking the first, the stitch had
gone and 1t has not been back since"
Other people here have had similar
experiences with Dodd's Kidney Pills
and their popularity is steadily on the
Increase.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
LIKED GRAPES TOO WELL.
Colorado Woman Spells Husbands Plan
for Pretending Death.

The fondness OF Mrs. E. Grant Angel
of Grand Junction, Col, for grapes
spoiled her husbands plan for pretend
ing that he was dead and collecting his
$1,000 of life insurance. Their hoCas VS.
burned, and when the neighbcrs s=rs1:-s1
from the nearest farms she SAID that bs~
husband had returned to the house "
save the cook stove and had not got out;
When the ruins cooled heap of charred
bones was found by the stove. But While
the search was going on the bereayed
wife sat by and ate grapes, and TINS
caused comment and suspicion. The cor
oner's jury said that the bones We're An
CELLS, but an advertising doctor IN town
with whom the other doctors would not
associate saw a chance for getting even,
and proved that the bones were those of
dogs and deer Then the Modern Wood
men and the Woodmen Of the World re-
fused to pay, and when it was evident
that the jig was up Angel returned,
claiming that he had been overheated in
the fire and had lost his mind for a time.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
Mountain Sickness.

No doctor has ever yet accounted for
the cause Of mountain sickness, maladv
infinitely more distressing and more lasf-
ing in its effects than sea-sickness. II
is only in comparatively very high alu
tudes that mountain sickness attacks the
climber. The premonitory symptoms are
an uncomfortable attack of nervousness
Though the mOuntaineer may be in a
place that is absolutely safe he feels
when attacked by this sickness that his
last hour has come. As a rule he lies
fiat down and shouts for help. Then
he gets violently sick and usually weeps
During the making of the railway to
Jungfrau several medical men made vari.
Gus experiments TO ascertain the actual
cause of this mountain sickness. hut
without much result Like sea-sickness
it seems to attack all sorts and conditions
of people and those who do not suffer
from it are curiously enough often the
most nervous.-Tatler.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
Profitable Waste.

"All that glitters is not gold" AM, on
the other hand, not all that finds its way
to the dustbin is worthless. For in
stance, in Stafford in one year 2OS,G20
mineral water bottles, 1900 other
bottles and ninety-seven tons Of brc ken
glass, estimated to represent G50,00O
broken bottles, worth $4,000 at retail
rates, were picked out of the refuse at
the Instructors. The marked bottles
were returned to the makers at ID per
dozen, while the other glass was sold
for $50 to be used in making mortar
In Glasgow the corporation issues bags
TO business houses for the collection Of
waste paper the contents being
eighteen IONS ii fsSaberE arsi corlyTt5d
weekly and a profit of 1900 per year is
realized. Solder is extracted from old tin
cans found among the refuse and is sold
at fair price.-Exchange.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03

Every one thought you had gone and
wondered Why" said the young man, af
fecting all the surprise possible. while a
victorious twinkle played in his eyes.
But Hawtrey was game. He never
iiinched, but replied in his cool, colorlcss
drawI:
Really, did not know l was of so
much Importance The truth is that this
little book is so interesting and your
brandy so excellent that | decided not to
leave this comfortable spot"
Hope Duke didn't annoy you?" point
ediy from Ted.
Not in the east. He seems a faith
full dog"
"He is
Good night, Mr.. Armstrong;"
Good night, Mr.. Hawtley!"
Soon as the door had closed on Haw-
trey, Ted grabbed Duke by the forelegs.
and man and dog executed the maddest
and merriest dance on record. Then,
hugging his dumb slave, Ted cried:
You watched him all right, didn't you,
old boy? Well, you saved my life, per-
haps; SO lie there on the rug or any
where and snooze all night The stable
is too good for your dogship after this"
The next day the engagement of Miss
Helen Vernon and Mr.. Theodore ARM
strong was announced and in the same
sheet might be seen few lines that
read: Mr.. Bruce llawtrcy leaves for
New York today, en- route for Europe"
"Hawtrey told me, Helen" explained
Ted, later on. while both were laughing
over the incident, that all's fair in love,
50 | took him at his word
Il hated him ever since the day he
spoke Of me as FLY" and was only wait
ing for a chance to refuse him. |
wouldn't have had him, anyway" replied
Helen.
We'll, Duke and weren't taking any
chances" laughed the dogs MASTER
New York News.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
Boiled it Down.

An amusing story is told of the editor
of a -o-ahead London evening ncwspa-
per. who. in the eternal rushing to press
to get ahead of the opposition. was con-
SANITY lmpresSing amen his reporters the
necessity for condeusing al news.
y terrific boiler explosion haG taken
place ON poatd big ship lying at Ports
mouth.
Get down there as hard as You can"
he said to one of his men. III YOU catch
there soon after aud can Just wire us
something for the fifth edition. but boil
it down"
And the reporter went. Soon after >
o'clock that afternoon they got wire
from him.
Terrific explosion, Man-o-war. Boiler
empty. Engineer full Funeral tomor-
row. II .ondon Tit-Bits.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
Elephant's Tusks Stnlen.

Thieves sawed off the great tusks Of
Jumbo II. last night and carried them
away. The elephant was the property Of
Bostock, and on account of his ugly dis
position had caused his owner much
trouble. He was known as a man-killer,
and the deaths of q number of men are
credited to him. When Bostock left his
summer quarters, Jumbo ii. was left be-
hind. Friday he died. The thieves
came prepared for a hard job, and their
work was far from easy. The iron band
which surrounded one tusk was almost
sawed in two before the vandals decided
TO saw on each side of the ring. The
tusks were four inches in diameter and
three feet long.-Indianapolis News.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
A Strenuous Monarch.

William of Germany and President
Roosevelt are not the only chiefs of state
who work hard. Franz Josef has lately
been a victim of a severe attack of mus
.cular rheu1ratSm. but this has not pre-
vented him from carrying out his daily
schedule. His day begins winter and
summer Mt o'clock in the morning.
when he goes directly 10 his desk 10 look
over his correspondence. At 3 o'clock he
has his first breakfast. Then he works
until O'Clock, when his daily receptions
begin. lie walks every day and manages
to do considerable reading. and is in bed
well before midnight when state func.
tions do not interfere.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03

y young recruit was set on sentry-go,
and was, of course, new to his duty. A
good-natured comrade brought him a
sandwich from the canteen. and the re-
cruit was about to eat it when the major
appeared. AS the officer was in multi
the sentry did not recognize him and did
not salute. The major took in the situa-
ton and asked:
What's that?'
a sandwich replied the recruit:
have a bite?'
DO you know who l ann" asked the
major.
Don't know you from Il crow; perhaps
you're the majors coachy."
No, I'm not
His groom. perhaps?"
No; try again"
Perhaps the old chap himsclf?"
Right this time" said the major
"oh. good gracious" exclaimed the
frightened sentry, hold the sandwich
while | present arms"-Tit-Bits.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03

y queer Improvement is being intro
duced in hotels in Europe 1t is to fur
niSh every guest on his arrival with Sin
pers made of paper. The soles are OF
paSteboard and the rest is made of white
or brown paper stitched with heavy cot
ton to prevent tearing. There are yor;-
Gus qualities. The most expensive il
made Of an extra good quality of white
paper The cheapest is made of com
mon brown straw paper.
These paper slippers are so cheap that
new ones can be furnished to each guest,
An attempt is being made also to intr5.
duce them in. hospitals and public insti-
tuuons, as they would add much to
cleanliness ami form another preventive
thrown away or destroyed rs soon ms tho
EeArer has done with them.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
The Yankee Skinper,s nninion

I'm old salt OF my acquaintance tells .
tale which is not quite complimentary to
the British admiralty Not long. ago. he
says; " nautical friend took run round
the New Zealand roast ON nm American
steamer or course. he carried his chart
With ,hlm and consulted it frequently
U't' DAY ne WAS nj fault, so he asked
lne captain =. : op,n'on on the apparent dis
crepancy. The Yankee handled tbe char
glngery. and with a pcrceptihle drawl al.
served, " British, | guess - The Istast
replied The passenger. "Ah. yes. 7
thought So, quoth the skipper evaSjvelv
Ihat, SIR, is a document of which tIe
late Capt. Cook would have had The bicL.
est possible opinion. London Taller.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03

There seems no improvement in Turk
ish social life this year. During the last
week two incidents have occurred show
ing what sort of existence people lead.
A certain high official had issued invita-
tions for a dinner. AS the guests began
to assemble police came to the door and
informed the host there must be no din
uer. No reason was given and the guests
were sent away. Another night four
high officials were playing cards when
the police came in and arrested them.
They were set MT liberty a few hours lat-
or hut were warned not 10 do it again
Spies are everywhere. and if anyone
meets friend they are always consid-
cred TO be plotting against the SULTAN
Tondon Daily Telegraph.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
Not Much of a Snowman.

The sh0wman's little boy had Noah's
ark which he examined with some con
tempt
Say he exclaimed at last Noah
wasn't much of Teller, was he?"
1t was suggested to the youngstcr that
Noah succeeded in gathering together Il
pretty good menagerie.
Good exclaimed the boy, scornfully,
Huh. Where's the two-headed calf and
the siX-legged goat and the ichthyosaurus
and the elegiantopard and the magnican-
telope? Why. if Noah set mp as show
man in these days he couldn't make ex-
penses."
He couldn't?"
didn't have thing in his ark except ami
mails that actually exist. - Brooklyn
Eagle
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03
EDUCATED ALLIGATOR DEAF
vailsburg Saurian was Death IN ch;.,
ems, but Friendly to a Cat

Dick. the last survivor of a famiv u.
six alligators taken from their bo,ns u
a Florida river and shipped Nortb =. d
cigar box fourteen years ago. is aaa a d
Dick, for an alligator. was highly ed ia
Gated. Frederick Ryerson Of yaiisbuIrgp'
habit, of which he could not be bro,. oad
and that was killing chickens. H. yyn,-i
lie motionless in the grass in the re w u d
the house. and when an unsnsnoo.i1o %
hen would happen near his open ;o LIE
would close like a flash and the chicIass
would disappear.
The alligator was friendly with NJ.
Ryerson's cat, and they often dined rrn NJ,
the same place. Dick knew his m9xta ~.
voice, and would answer to his call
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-03

The salamander iron is one of the
most useful of new acquisitions 10 the
Kitchen. 1t is a flat iron disk fastened to
a handle. When thoroughly heated over
Goals. this iron is lifted and held over
pastry. meringues, etc. which have not
drowned evenly in the oven, but which
cannot he returned for fear of overhak-
ing Thus one is able to obtain FOR such
dishes an evenly Drowned appearance
which adds to their appetizing appear
al