davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
ENJOYING A SHOW.
A Charity Concert In London ana '"e
Audience IL Attracted.


The audience certainly was terrl1y-
ing one. The front rows of the Dig
hall we're filed by old women very Sc
we're or else smiling the perpetual smile
of vacancy. Then came a grimy group
of dock hands. Their wives, some OF
them in charge of three babies apiece
were all over the room. The girls came
in huge feathered hats and yelled hlgh
nitched witticisms to the gangs OF
Young hooligans whose one desire
seemed to be to wreck the show. IN
deed they contributed even more audi
bly, to the entertainment than did the
performers, while the clergy who pa
trolled up and down seemed on excei-
lent terms with everybody. but quite
powerless to control a good part of the
audience.
Somebody opened with piano solo,
Really people might have more sense
than to choose a Chopin nocturne Tor
such an audience. The pianist was
twice told to Ego and get an organ.
There was Il shout for some tune I'M
known TO us, and after that the render
ing of Chopin was permanently drown
ed in general and stentorian conyersa-
ton. A girl with ambition to become
n professional next sang. amid audible
comments OH the plainness or her
frock. and she quilted the platform In
awful silence. BERTHE and his cello
had an even worse time. lie was IN
vited to got his hair cut" which was
certai aly piece Of timely advice, and
at the first deep notes of his lnstru,
ncnt there were anxious Inquiries II
he was in pain. As this l',' percep'
tible effect on irritable BERTHE, there
were general Offers to attend his tuner
al and more advice to the effect not tc
take that old geeZer out with you
when you go counting" BY this time
the troupe were terrified, and the rec
tor had to mount the platform and re
quest some sort of order.-Outlook.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
BIRMINGHAM PICTURES.
They Were Mere Paper, but They
Su0ducd the Artist Turner.

They Were Mere Paper, but They
Subducd the Artist Turner.
Turner. the great landscape painter,
was curious mixture Of pursimony
and generosity, determined money
grubbing and unreckoning devotion to
his art. lie would drive q hard bar
gain one day and the next refuse to
sell nj any price. Intending purchas-
ers were sometimes excluded from his
gallery. and the refusal OF admission
was communicated In anything but a
polite manner.
Mr.. elliott, the wealthy pen manu-
facturer of birmingham, once proved
himself equal to the task of stormlng
the castle in the teeth Of the gruff art
list and his doorkeeper and achieving a
bargain. A book on Turner gives the
story.
Mr.. elliott was met at the door OF
Turner's house by an old woman, who
opened the door and asked the gentle
mans business.
Cant let e i'm she snapped out,
when he told her, and tried TO slam the
door.
But Mr. elliott had put his foot In
side the door and without waiting for
permission pushed past the enraged
janitress and hurried upstairs to the
gallery Turner met him like spider
whose web has been invaded. The in
truder introduced himself and said
that he had come to buy.
Don't want to SELF was the an
swer
Have you seen our Birmingham pie
lures. Mr.. Turner?' inquired the visit
or, as calmly as II he had been received
rs a gentleman should be.
"Never heard of EN-" said Turner
Mr.. elliott took from his pocket some
Birmingham bank notes.
'AIcre paper remarked Turner WIG
evidently enjoyed the joke.
ITO be bartered for mere canvas
said the visitor, waving his hand TO III
dicate the paintings on the wall. Ill
tone-perhaps also the sight OF tn
mere paper''-conquered Turner, ah'
when the visitor departed he had bar
gained for several valuable pictures.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
AS BOATMATES
Experience with One That Had beeh
Apparently Killed.

ExuerIence with One That Had Been
Apparently Killed.
Alligators move rapidly under water
ora hard 70 see. harder to hit, and the
harpoon will penetrate only the least
accessible portions of the body. NOT
does the title to the hide necessarily
pass with making fast the weapon.
One afternoon In the Cheesehowltz-
kee river harpconed a large alligator
which lowed me up and down the
stream for an hour or two ana theh
sulkcd in its deepest part pulled on
the lire until the boat was directly
over him and stirred him up with the
harpoon pole He rolled himself up on
the line in the manner peculiar 10
sharks and ailigators and banged the
boat suggestively. We rOwed to the
bank and. making fast TO some bushes,
hsuled Oh the line until we succeeded
in worrying him nearly to the boat
when lie rose to the surface and at
tackled us with open mouth. We re-
pelled the attack with harpoon pole
bitten in three pieces. but the latter ap-
oarently finished him. 1t was so nearly
dark that we decided to carry him In
the skiff n mile down the river to where
our sloop was anchored. We broke the
seats out of the boat and together man.
aged to lift the head OF the alligator
aboard and tie ii. We then tied ths
other end. when the reptile came to
life and landed a blow with his tail
which lifted me out Of the skif into
the saw grass. with the breath knocked
out of my body and my hand and face
badly cut by the grass.
Boat and boatmcn were capsized. AS
my rife had fortunately been left upon
me bank. | was able to kill the alliga-
tor again. We secured him by floating
the boat under him and then bailing II
out. Tie alligator completely filed the
BOAT. so that my companion and | sat
upon his back as we padded down the
river with gunwales unpleasantly near
the water.
1t was growing dark, and the water
around us was becoming alive WITH
alligators. While we were rejecting
upon our overloaded condition our ALL
gator came to life again and shifted
ballast until water poured over the
gunwale. We quickly balanced the
boat, only to see it again disturbed and
10 ship more water. A scramble for the
shore followed. which we reached with
out capsizing and where we left Our
victim for the night after again killing
him. In the morning our buzzaro
friend from the Homosassa river, sur
rounded by his family, was sitting
above him in tie tree waiting for us tC
attend to our carving duties.-COuntry
Life In America.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
An Eagle's Strength.

What tremendous power an eagle eX'
erts when carrying away a lamp thaI
weighs. say. sixty pounds or over! ii
you take the weight Of the bird togeth'
er seyenty-slx pounds. then 1t appears
that an eagle can develop more
than two horsepower and must put
a strain of over LOO pounds on the
muscles of the wings, which leads one
to think that birds are stronger thar
mathematics"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
nd Enemies.

1t is told OF Confederate geterap
who fought In the Spanish war that IN
moments of excitement he thought he
was fighting the Yankees, a blogra-
ply of Knglake, the historian contains
n similar story OF Lord Raglan. VET
eran Of the Napoleonic wars.
In 1854 Raglan went to the Crimea.
Two French officers were attached 10
his headquarters.
Several times the staff was emoar-
rassed and amused at Lord Raglan 8
habit. due 10 old peninsular assocla-
tons, of calling the enemy the ErencE"
I'm the presence of the foreign guests
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
IMPLANTED CORN,
Ut Hns O Habit of Getting Uneasy In
the Spring.

1T Hns q Habit of Getting Uneasy In
the Spring.
ct beats ALL" said a Bergen county
farmer, what curious things we find IN
nature that we can't explain. You kin
70 over lot of EN-. and there's yet
one that you can't tell me why 1t Is.
That's corn heatin' up in the spring.
"You take a lot OF corn. / don't care
if it's whole corn or cracked corn or
cornmeal. You keep it In any kind OF
storehouse-the common granary, like
we have on the farms, or the stone or
brick buildin'. like many Of the gro
GERS and feed dealers have 1t in. When
1t comes corn plantin' time, that corn
of yourn III git Uneasy. Soon's the
blades start out Of the ground, then
you'll have TO hustle to save your grain.
Seems rs when the time comes along
fur corn TO be planted fhe corn In the
bags, 10 matter what shape it's in, be-
gins TO heat up. and when the planted
corn begins to grow what you've got
stored will git 80 hot it'll fairly smoke.
You've got to take 1t out Of the bags
and spread it out so it'll cool Off or
you'll lose 1t all. In few days it'll
cool down again, and you won't have
no more trouble with 1t durin' the sum-
mer, no matter how hot the weather
gifts. It's jest when the planted corn
starts; that's all.
Curious? OF course it's curious or
wouldn't speak Of 1t. l might under
stand how whole corn would act that
way, but when 1t comes to cracked corn
and cornmeal then it's too much fur
me. And I'll bet you can't tell why II
is, 'cept it's jest nature tryin' to assert
herself. New York Mail and Express.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
Whore cohrss Are Held to lie sacred.

Whore Cobr=s Arc He'd to lie saere"'
Tie HindoOs OH account OF their SUI
pcrstiiion are very loath TO destroy
cobra. 1t appears prominently i'll their
mythology. and it is veneratcd both as
a symbol Of malicious and destruc-
tive power ard also "A beneiicent one.
According 70 Mr.. \. X. Forbes coDras
are looked upon as guardian angels
and there IS Bengalcsc tradition thal
n male infant ausplciously shaded by q
cobra will come to the throne.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

"Don't you think said the generous
minded man. that you would feel mor'
kindly toward your political rival y
you could imagine yourself In his place
my dear sir" answered the energet
f. man. mere imagination won't do
I'm going to put myself In his place Il
II can possibly be managed. He has
one of the best places in the govern
ment service. "-Washington Star.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
Drenms Explained.

"Dreams." says an eminent lecturer
on theosopby. consist Of recollectlons
of the combined impressions received
and workings Of the physical and as.
trail minds The soul and suboonsclous
ness are independently active, and u Is
the confusion arising from the con
founding of the thoughts Of the SOU
with the exaggerated Interpretation OF
impressions received by subconscious
ness which makes 1t so often impossi
BILE to remember dreams"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

business and suffering they cause. Hap
,,;ress as well as health is restored to
the woman whose diseased condition is
cured by the use of DR.. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription.
After eight years of suffering and two
frntless operations, three months use OF
uFavorite Prescription restored Mrs.
Moser to perfect health; This great
remedy for woman's ills, establishes
regularity, dries weakening drains heals
Inflammation and liberation and cures
female weakness.
The Common Sense Medical Adviser,
1905 large pages, in paper covers is sent
free OIL receipt of 81 one-cent stamps 10
nav expense of mailing only. Address
DR., K. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

Rufus-Nossuhl All don't have no
mo- trouble wifi de boss ut de shop.
Uncle Remus - Huh! Yo' mus a
done reformed yo' ways, den. Is yoI
Rufus-Nossuhl Ah'se done quit de
iob!-Chicago News.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
A Touching Consent.

The Youth-Sir, came to ask your
consent to my marriage with your
daughter
The Old Man-Is your income SUN
cient to support a wifef
The Youth-lt is, and In addition &c
that it is sufficient to enable me to
stand an occasional touch from my
wlfe's father
The Old Man-Say no more, young
man. She's yours. Bless you, my soh'
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

Shortly after the publication Of Ten
nyson's famous poem, "a Vision OF
SIM" the laureate was somewhat star
tied to receive from Mr.. Babbage, the
renowned arithmetician, letter which
ran as follows:
Dear Sir--I find in a recently published
poem from your pen, entitled "A Vision
OF SIM" the following unwarrantable
statement;
Every moment dies q man,
Every moment one Is born"
I need hardly point out to you that this
calculation II correct. would tend to Keep
the sum total of the worlds population In
q state OF perpetual equipoise. whereas 1t
is q well known fact that the said sum
total Is constantly on the increase. /
would therefore take the liberty Of sug-
gesting that in the next edition of your
excellent poem the erroneous calculation
TO which / refer should be corrected as
follows:
Every moment dies a man
And one and a sixteenth Is born.
may add that the exact figures are 1.1C7.
but something must OF course be conceded
10 the laws OF meter. L have the honor to
be, sir yours. sincerely, c. BABBAGE,
sac - :, = --...-
Ideas generate ideas, like a potato.
which cut in pieces reproduces itself In
\ o.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

Advertising IS the BOY 20 business
success.
THE GAZETTE wants more Kockbiidge
advertisers. 1t has large circulation
among the masses, and has long been
regarded by both home and foreign
advertisers as one OF the best advertising
mediums in this section Of virginia.
NOW is the time to make contract
with THE GAzRfFE, because you get
the benefit of its increase in circulation
without extra cost,
We shall be glad to advise with you
in preparing your advertisements so as to
obtain the best results. We will lend
YOU any nelp to make your advertising
pay, because upon your success depends
ours.
tN Write for a card OF rates.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
A Modest Aspiration

A man was asked recently by the
crufr clerk at the stamp window, after
he had deposited cents, "Well, what
do you want?" He answered gently,
"An automobile, please" Verify, a
soft answer turneth away wrath
Albany Argus.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

Pullman Sleeping Cars from Clifton
Forge to Cincinnati, Louisville and 81
louis,
Trains Arrive at Lexington:
~ As p. m. daily except Sunday from
Clifton Forge.
8 % p. m. daily trom Riehmopd enA
Lyncnbulg. y = 1853 '''
For rats tickets and other ntorma
ton apply TO s, o. CAMPBELL, City
Ticket Agent, Lexington. Va.
II. ". FULLER, G. p. Agent.
G. +. DOYLE, General Manager.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
Conclusive Argument. .

First Office Boy guess de boss VIII
raise my pay.
Second Office Roy-What makes ytesEE
t'ink SO?
First Office Boy give him ter un'
derstand I'd stay till he did.-Judge.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
Hnffer.

81 have 10 doubt you have heard
some stories to my dlscredit." be said,
81 don't like to put it in that way
she quietly replied.
How them" he hopefully asked.
~ baye never heard any stories TO
your credit" said sLe.-Cleyeland ram
Dealer
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
Mislnatched.

Mrs, Greene-They tell me your hus'
band has been decorated by some Tor
eign ruler.
Mrs. Brownies. but it's only bit
of ribbon, and it doesn't match my
complexion at all. When Charles wears
1t anywhere he'll have to go without
me.-Boston Transcript.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
IIursI Work.

Mrs. Aim surprised that your
husband earns so little If he works as
hard MS you say. What does he dor
MIS-. B.--The last thing he did was
TO calculate how many times q clock
licked In the course of 1000 years
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
Failed 10 Recognizc II.

"He sent Il copy of bis dialect story
down into the country where he stud
led the dialect"
"And did 1t make the natives an
gryf" an,
"Oh. no; they couldn't understand It.
Chicago Post.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
AnprecIntIOn.

GLOW did you like the music at the
symphony concertT'
Mrs. Torque and l got INTO such 0
discussion about Its beauty and teen
mic that really hadn't chance to iis
Ton. 10 Raltimnns. -s.<=Ss
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

About three days after man returns
from Il trip his friends begin to think
up something to change the subject
when the zee him coming.-Atchison
Globe.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

Rev. Tubtbumer-l'ye been preachlpii
this morning to q congregation OF asses
Lily Sugarstick- Yes; J noticed yol
called them "beloved brethren. ALLY
SlODer.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
Precocious Youth

Walter Jagged 6vel-Papa. when !
grow up may get married?
Papa-My son. regret to see you an
ticipate trouble so early In life.-Chica
90 News.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

After man passes 6fty he finds that
his hopes have to be lacked up and re-
paIuted twice as often az ten years be-
fore. Atchison Globe.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
ITO say a pleasant
word to anyone was
almost impossible"

rI was troubled with female weakness for
eight wears; and suffered more than can tell"
writes Mrs Gust. Moser of Ovando Deerlodge
Co Mont vNy disposition was affected TO such
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
NoneoInmitfal.

Judge-What is your age, madam
Witncss-I'm at least five years
Younger than the nelghbors think me-
philadelphia Press.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

an extent tnat 10 say
a pleasant word TO
anyone was almost
impossible
81 had two opera
tions performed by
one ofthe most skilled
surgeons of the West,
but did not get relief.
T h en-. against my
doctors strict orders,
i commenced taking
DR.. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription and
Golden Medical Dis
covery,' and also fol-
lowed the advice
given in the Common
Sense Medical Ad-
wiser.
Ell continued this
treatment for three
months. and to- day
ann as healthy and
well as a woman can
i,e. I cannot thank
Doctor Pierce enough
for his kind letters
to me-"
Womanly dis.
eases, as a rule,
spoil the "disposi,,
ton" because OF
f1,a a<-trefue uery-
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

"HaYe you any trouble In meeting
your creditors, old chap"
40 difficulty whatever. ! meet en-
everywhere, old boy"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
N INV Norfo|kSsWestsrn
-
Schedule in effect June 8 1907
tff ~ .',l fH.f.
Leave Buena Vista,

Leave Buena Vista,
NORTHBOUND.
No. > l0OlP,M Daily, For Basic Luray
Hagerstown and New York. Pull
man sleeper to Philadelphia.
No. 4. 3.14 Pm Daily, For Hagerstown,
Washington, Baltimore, Philadel.
phia, New York and intermediate
stations. Pullman sleeperto New
York via Harrisburg
SOUTHB0UND.
No. /. 100 A. NJ Daily. For Roanoke
Bristol, Blueleld, Norton, VIA.
ston-Salem, Welch and intermedi-
ate stations. Pullman sleeper
Philadelphia to WEIGH,
No. 3, 2.l6P. NJ. Daily. Fol Roanoke,
Bristol, Bluefeld, Winston Salem
and intermediate stations, and
Knoxville. Cincinnati, Columbus
Chicago, and points West and
Southwest. Pullman sleeper TO
Knoxville and Roanoke to Colun'
bus.
Additional information and rates cheer
fully furnished by C. II. Moffett, Ticket
Agent, Buena ista, Va.
NJ. F. BRAGG, Trav. Pass Agent
w. b. BEvILI, Gen. Pass. Agent,
Roanoke u
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

Horses are Ike eggs. 1t Is impossible
to tell what's in them until they are
broken.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

Dishonesty is a forsaking OF perma-
nent for temporary advantage.--Bovee.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08
SOUTHBOUND

Train so connects with Southern X.
Ra. Strasburg Junction for Harrisonburg
and points on Valley Railroad.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

No. 80 connects at Lynchburg with
Southern Railway North and South.
No. 80 connects at Balcony Falls with
No. for Clifton Forge and the West.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

'Daily except Sunday.
For rates, tickets, baggage checked.
apply to any Office OF the B. & o. Rail-
road OF to E. Dudrow, Travelling Pass.
enger Agent, Harper's Ferry, ". va:
T. E. JARRETT, Agent
Lexington, yo,
c. w. BASSETT, G. P. A.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1903-04-08

Ideas generate ideas, like a potato.
which cut in pieces reprOduces itself In
n multiplied form,
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-11-02
WHITING NOW
AN ADMIRAL


Upon the retirement on October IL of
Rear Admiral Kempn. Capt. VIM. H.
Whiting, formerly commandant OF the
Honolulu Naval Station, was elevated
to the rank of Rear Admiral with Cap
tains Lamberton, McCalia and Chad
wick.
Rear Admiral William Henry Whit
ing was born in New York city, but
was appointed to the Naval Academy
from Wisconsin in 1860. Served on the
Hartford in the West Gulf Squadron,
1865, and received honorable mention
by Admiral Farragut in general orders
for gallant conduct at the burning of
the blockade runner under the guns of
Fort Morgan on the night of July s..
1864; was given honorable mention by
the captain of the Hartford at the bat
tie of Mobile Bay; was at the surren-
der of Fort Gaines; hauled down the
Confederate flag and hoisted United
States flag; was at the surrender of
Fort Morgan; served on the Kearsarge
after the war; successfully command
ed the Saratoga. Kearsarge, Alliance
and Monadnock.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-11-02
CHINA LINE HAS
BEEN ABANDONED

The Japan Times publishes the
company owning the S. S. Clavering
and other freighters making Honolu-
lu port of call between Hongkong
and San Francisco:
1t has more than once been rurnored
that the China Commercial Steamship
Company proposed to abolish its
Hongkong-San Francisco line and by
SO doing abandon the competition it
other hitherto carried on against the
other companies running steamers on
the same route. Now, according to
the Chugai Shoyyo. the plan seems
to have been carried out at least as far
as appearances go. seeing that the
Company's steamer Lothian, which
was to have left Yokohama for Amer
lea on Sept 81, did not arrive at the
specified date; on the contrary, she
returned to Hongkong from Moji car
rying coal. This supposition is fur
Their strengthened, learns our conten-
porary, by the fact that, in spite of
the announcement of the Company's
agent at Yokohama about the post
ponment of the departure of the Lothi-
an for America to Sept &c, she did
not even put in an appearance at that
port. The above report seems to re-
quire further confirmation.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-11-02
NOTICE TO THE PUBLIC!

The leading barber shops of Homo
lulu have concluded to close their
places Of business On and after Nov.
2, at o'clock p. m, except on Sat
urdays. This change is made to con-
form to the hours of the journeymen
BARRIERS on the Pacific Coast. SS21
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-11-02

ONE large room with board in private
family. Electric light, hot and cold
water, etc. Address NJ, this office
6625
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-11-02
M'MICHAELS TRUNK
DRIFTED ASHORE

Cable Operator McMichael, who was
wrecked with the schooner Julia E.
Whalen on Midway, thought he had
lost everything of his personal belong
ings. McMichael heroically struggled
ashore with box of gramophone rec
ords, but saved nothing else. News
arrived yesterday that one of his trunks
had drifted ashore, and that his ap-
parel had been hung out on a line to
dry,