Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1903-05-09

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An Iowa hen has just laid an egg
as big as hubbard squash. 1t was
double-header, an egg within an egg
two perfect yolks, two perfect
whites, two perfect shells. When eggs
are selling at ten cents, this old hen
fruit factory turns out a dozen with
six lays. The hens recently sent to
Australia to lay eggs in a contest are
nine spots compared to this biddy. The
unfortunate part of the whole matter
is the owner of this hen doesn't know
which of his flock threw that enormous
breakfast delicacy. He has carefully
questioned each hen in turn, but not
one will admit the egg The Hawk
eyes are quite excited over the mat
ter. They say that hen of such cali
Der should have homage paid her and
a bust of white china made to perpetu-
ate her feat.
Perhaps it is best as it is. Suppose
the hen was discovered and encour-
aged in producing such colossal glo-
bules of a1bumen. Like other hens
she would sooner or later steal away
to the wildwood and hide her eggs in
a bunch of tickle-grass. There they
would remain undisturbed and fast
approaching that strength of odor
akin to a soap factory in the last
stages of decay, until the Dowieites
came to town, or until the White Caps
needed them in their business. Think
of throwing ancient twin eggs as big
as a hubbard squash at victim OF
incensed muscular development.
But it was truly a wonderful egg,
and really too bad the mother cannot
be designated. If man had laid an
egg like that the papers would be full
OF his praises. The hen is altogether
too modest. During the political cam
paign she deposits initial and photo
graphic eggs all over the field of bat
tie, demonstrating the election of
good and true men. Then she goes
away and leaves her handiwork to the
rude discovery of the corn-fed hired
man. Political managers who couldn't
lay an egg to save their lives, let
alone one with an initial on it, are
quoted on the results of the pending
election and swell around as true fore
runners of calamity or joy, as the case
may be.
But if you really want to know what
is going to happen keep your eye on
the hen that looks anxious.
80
The average man will be gratified
20 know that he can purchase new
stomach for $1,000000. Mr.. Rookie
teller has aided humanity this much
at least: He has had a price set on
a new bread basket for mans inter
ior. 1t is we'll, In this age of cafa-
terias, grab-and-run counters, eaton
the-wing stands and health food cup
boards in overcoat pockets, it is
comfort to know that some day We
may be rich enough to get new
leather upholstering in our vitals.
1t seems a sad commentary on
American life that we have to hurry
so hard to eat so little, but uhdoubt-
eddy we should be thankful for life,
iberty, the pursuit of happiness and
the fond hope that some day we will
be rich enough to buy a new stom-
ach.
Sometimes we balk in the harness
at hurrying so fast and eating so
much faster. We feel we would like
to go slow awhile, lie on our back in
the tall grass in the middle of a
sweet-scented meadow, and wiggle
our toes in wanton exuberance at the
sun. About this time the landlord
comes around with his bill. We
awake with a start, grab a ham sand
witch, cram it into our masticating
orifice, and hurry back to the mines!
The next day we have dyspepsia
and our wife tells us we need more
physical exercised But the worm will
turn one of these days.
-
The man whose coal supply has
been visibly weak and given to dizzy
spells all winter, is not apt to see the
pathetic side of the coal ultimatum
on the part Of the arbitration board
To one who has been warmed all
winter long by a Steamboat lease.
taken in the warm and beautiful
months of a glorious autumn, there
cannot but come q feeling sof COM
passion for Mr.. Baer and others who