davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-05-08
THE JOKE AS A POWER.
Il II nnoaaly Becomins llishtisr
Man the Pen.

Z
Il II Raeaaly Beconing llishtisr
EAan the Pen.
Men who fear nothing else shrink
from joke upon themselves. Soldiers
who do not finch before opposing guns
dread to be made ridiculous. Woe to
the national hero who makes one tri-
fling mistake which may subject him
to clever caricature! His meritorious
career is henceforth Swallowed by one
colored illustration. A comic paper will
tip the scales Of justice, snatch the vic
tors prize from his extended palm and
rob the orator of choicest laurels. A
brilliant satire will mar the fortunes
of the greatest statesman, laugh will
turn the tide Of political convention.
Indeed the Joke is fast becoming
mightier than the pen. The orator has
learned its value, and even the clergy
man resorts to it when he desires to
stir the Tagging interest of his flock.
1t furnishes sufficient excuse for the
impertinence of children. and in it's
name the daily papers deride the high
est national dignitaries.
What is the meaning of it's steady
growth in power and what results may
we predict from its humorous tyranny?
Is there chance that our keen relish
for fun may finally produce kind Of
humorous dyspepsia resulting from
overindulgence, unless with epicurean
discrimination we demand quality, not
quantity, and stubbornly refuse to
swallow other than that which should
appease wholesome, nay cultivated
appetite in jokes?-Caroline Ticknor in
Atlantic
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-05-08
. Famou. Portrait Painter,. Opinion.

4 Famous Portrait Painters Opinion.
The famous artist Won Lenbach had
one great dominant principle-that out
of nature one should grasp and hold
fast but one thing in portraiture, the
head; that this exponent of the soul
must stand out in undisturbed unity;
that accessories Of whatever kind.
whether dress or form. must distract
and weaken the impression that the
head should produce; that portrait
to attain its highest aim and signifi-
canoe must look out from background
Of nothingness and must be shorn of
every detail that interferes with this
unity of purpose. e Cosmopolitan.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-05-08
A Startling Test.

To save fife, DR.. T. G. Merritt, of No
Mehoopany, Pa, made a startling tes
resulting in wonderful cure. He writes
"a patient was attacked with violent
hemorrhages, caused by liberation of the
stomach. l had often found Electric
Bitters excellent for acute stomach and
liver troubles so l prescribed them
The patient gained from the first, and
has not had an attack in IA months. .
Electric Bitters are positively guaranteed
for Dyspepsia, Indigestion, Constipation
and Kidney troubles. Try them. Only
SOC at T. r. Shaw the Druggist.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-05-08
noy. yvno p,.y Ra,, on s.n.a.y.

1Oy4 VINO k.k0y ouAA On > ODAAvs
The bishop conductor Of laennsyiva
mia. Alexander Mackay-Smith, was o:
the way one Sunday morning from I'll,
Bryn Mawr railroad station to til,
chapel of Dryn Mawr college. where liz
was to preach.
AS he drove in the hired station was
on along the country road he saw ap
preaching on foot little boy with /;
ball and bat and a,catcher's mask.
The bishop caused his carriage to pull
up. Little boy" lie said. leaning out
little boy
"Sir." returned the lad.
"Do you know where little boys e
who play ball on Sunday?"
Yes, SIR" the other answered. They
go to Heston's lot. ovrt there behi..,
the dam."-New FORK Tribune.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-05-08
IN COUNTY COURT


STATE OF NORTH DAKOTA.
County of Pembina. 5ss'
In County Court before the Hon. j. D. Wal
ace, Judge.
In the matter of the estate of patrice Barthe.
lette, deceased.
Marie v. Barthelette. Swidow,
Petitioner,
Joseph BartheIette, Patrice
Barthelette, minor, Moses
Barthelette, q minor, Albert A.
Bartheette, minor, James
Barthelette, a minor, Norman
Bartheette, minor, Mary A.
Bartheette, minor, Maxim
Barthelette a minor, Eiionide
Bartheette, a minor, and Della
Bartheette, minor, and Chas.
Ronssin, rs administrator of
the estate of Patrice Barthelette,
deceased, and Antoine Barthe.
lette, specia. guardian of said
minors. Respondents.
pointment of Administrative.
The State of North Dakota to the said respond
ents-
You, the said respondents, and all other per.
sons interested In said estate, are hereby mott
fled that the petition of Marie v. Barthelette
widow, to be appointed adminisrratix of the es
Of Avon. in the County of Pembina and State OF
North Dakota, deceased, has been presented
ana fled in this Court praying that the said pc
that psth day Of Jane s sna
10 o'clock In the forenoon Of that day, at the
Court Rooms Of this Court, in the County Court
House in the City of Pembina, County OF Penn
bina, and State of North Dakota. haa been duly
| appointed by the Court for the hearing of said
petition for the appointment of said admins
tratix, and at which time and place any person
interested in said estate may appear and file his
| exceptions in writing to said petition or any
part thereof and COL test the same.
And you the above named respondents. aud
each of you, are hereby cited to be and appear
before this Court ut such time and place. and
there be, why the prayer Of said petition should
not be granted.
Dated April 29th 1913.
By the Court. CO
[SeaI] j. D. WALLACE, :.
q. A. TART.
NJ. Tney fCc EstHre.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-05-08
Quick Arrest.

J. A. Gulledge of Verbena, Ala, was
twice in the hospital from severe case
Of piles causing "a tumors. After doc
tors and all remedies failed, Bucklen's
Arnica Salve quickly arrested further in
flammation and cured him. 1t conquers
aches and kills pain. 25c. at T. R. Shaw
the Druggist.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-05-08
Literary Hand Me Ont.

sAn' how did you fare at the house
On the hill?" inquired Wandering VIII
lie of Wandering Mike.
4 Fine" replied the meanderer. ''The
lady gave me little Of most every
thing you could mention
s-tNot hash?" zsS.
No. A pocket dictionary."'-Clev
land Plain Dealer. i:,s5
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-05-08
In COUNTY COURT.
STATE OF NORTH DAKOTA,1

JAIL VI NOhId DAhOIA.
County of Pembina.
In County Court, before Hon. J. D. Wallace
County Judge.
In the matter Of the estate Of Patrice Barthe-
lette, deceased;
Charles Roussin, Administrator,
Petitioner.
Marie v. Barthelette, widow,
Joseph Barthelette Patrice
Barthelette, a. minor, Moses
Bartheette. q minor. Albert A..
Bartheette,. minor, James
Barthelette,a minor, Norman 81
Barthelette, minor, Mary A. Il
Barthelette, q minor, Maxim
Barthelette,s minor. Elionide
Barthelette, q minor, and Della
Barthelette. minor, and An
iOine BartheIette, special guar
dian Tor said minors, ESQ yss 9a ~
Respondents.
Citation notice Of hearing report and sccoant-
The State Of North Dakota to the above named
You, NE said respondents, and each OF you,
and ell other persons interested 10 said estate,
count Of Charles Roussin, as administrator OF
the estate OF Patrtce Barthelette, Iate Of the
township q Avon, n the county Of Pembins
rendered 10 be hlsd In this court together with
counting 50 siiowsd and Is IS discharssd fsoS,
az 81. sas. S. a'as "a r. d.'
conrt IN the court house ID the c!tY ol Penn ina
Sss Ism .ppoiaisd ~ s d u .sitis
ment thereof, ~ which hme and plAcS my yer.
son ,ntsrssssa q said 500 ri .pp.s. 81
an az aceonniiRe snd oootes. ~ 49, -
each 0i You, are hsrsby cItsd nd requlssd Tier
snd d there to,ss aHa sppssE bsio.s shis court Y.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-05-08
Rooms for Rent.

The fiat upstairs OF the former Road
house residence, consisting of 5 rooms
and kitchen, is for rent. Apply to
39-tf DR.. c. B, HARRIS
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-05-08
sadie,,. Gule..u...

TeacherCan any little girl tell me
+ who was. Columbus7 i.
Sadie (frantically swapping her fin-
Gers) know. X
Teacher Well. Sadie7
gadie Columbus, the gem Of tho
ocean delphia Press. 4
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-05-08

Special bargains in Sewing Machines
at G. G, Thompson's bicycle shop, to
make room for the bicycle business.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-05-08
- - !, e e
WONDERFUL
RESOURc ES OF
THE WEST

~~rSSSS~NS~
If you are looking for home and de-
sire to visit the West, you can do so with
very little expense as the UNION PA
CIFlC will sell One-Way colonist
Tickets EVERY DAY at the follow,
ing rates from Missouri river terminals:
UNTIL JUNE 10TH. fsE
S25 to San Francisco, Los Angeles aud
many other California points.
UNTIL APRIL Both.
$40 to Ogden, Salt Lake City, Butte,
Anaconda and Helena.
$3.50 to Spokane and Wanatchee. II
S25 to Portland, Tacoma, Seattle and
many other Washington and Oregon
points.
From Chicago and ST. LOUIS propor-
tionately low rates are in effect by lines
connecting with the Union Pacific.
The UNION PACIFIC has also ex-
tended territory to which round trip
Homeseekers Excursion tickets will be
sold as follows:
FROM MISSOURI RIVER TERMINALS.
To many points in Kansas, Nebraska
and Colorado;
To many points in Wyoming, Utah, Id.
aho and Montana.
To many points in Oregon and Washing
ton.
One fare plus 81 for the round trip.
Tickets on>sale March IL, April and
q, May Is and 10, June 2 and 16, 1903.
~For full Information call on or.,address
j. o. GOODSELL, G. P. A.,
Omaha, Nebraska.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09
SHAFT AT ANTIETAM.
1t Will Be a Monument to McKin-
ley's Heroism.
Incidentally 1t VIII Comm emorntc n
Coffee Incident which Has Bccn
Made the Subject of Many
Comments.

The most striking incident of the
soldier life of the late President Will
liam Mckinley will be immortalized
by granite and bronze. On January
30, 1903, at Columbus, the Ohio Antie-
tam battlefield commission awarded
the contract to erect a monument on
the spot where Mckinley as mere
soldier boy served his comrades with
hot coffee on the firing line. The entire
contract provides for the erection of
ten monuments in honor of the several
Ohio regiments and batteries which
took part in that bloody battle, but,
without a doubt. the most unique and
the one in which the people of the
United States will be most interested
is the Mckinley monument. 1t will
be remembered that this battle was
fought September II, 1862. on Mary
land soil, and that the Twcnty-third
Ohio regiment was an important fac
tor in the fight. Belonging to the ia
nous Twenty-third were two men who
afterwards became presidents of the
United States, Hayes and Mckinley,
as well as a long line of other distin-
guished men. Perhaps no other bat
tlofield commission. either in Ohio or
the other states of the union, will have
so pretty a sentiment to enlarge upon
as this heroic act in the life of the be-
loved Mckinley.
While going over the battlefield with
n companion not long before his
tragic death, President Mckinley said,
in speaking of the coffee incident that
he knew the boys must be hungry and
thirsty from their long service under
fire. and concluded to take them some
coffee. With one of the supply wagons
ne started for the line when he was
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09
Great Bush Of Home Seekers.
About 100000 Acres tf Land to be
Openeu in June.

If present indications hold true
one of the greatest land rushes of
recent date in the West will storm
Los Angeles, Cal, IN June, when the
1000, 900 acres of land, recently
restored by the government to the
public domain and reaching from Mo-
jave to the Colorado rlver, will be
thrown open to entry.
The Los Angeles land office is re-
ceiving nearly 200 letters day from
every state in the Union. One OF
them from New York state requests
the fullest details, saying that tn +,
writer is planning to settle a colony
of 10000 ranches on the desert if he
can locate son the ground hoor' OF
the agricultural sections along the
river.
A pilgrimage to the rich sections
along the Colorado river, to be in.
cluded in the operations now in pro-
gress, under the provisions of the
national irrigation bill, has set in.
Desert land however, comprises the
greater part of the land to be opened
to settlement, an1 it will have very
little value until water is turned on it.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09
COLES FOR APRIL.

When the merry surlug time cometh,
When lis warm ana gentle showers
Melt the snow from of the hill tops
Wake to life The lovely flowers;
When the binds arc sweetly warbling
Joyous notes from bush and tree,
What's the import of that message
Spring is hrnsing unto thee1
The great floods in the South, the
strange phenomenas, the suddee
deaths, etc, came as predicted in the
March forecast, and now comes the
menu for April The month has some
very good indications, which it is to be
hoped will overbaance the evil ones
but # Ares, "The Ram" which is in
opposition to Earth. should take
notion to "butt," then watch out.
April, in the main, will prove a pros
porous one in America, as tie "High
Flood" vital force will rule by a big
majority.
Mars, in opposition TO the Sun, viii
cause the material spirit in man 70
arouse, discomfort, rumors of war, and
great discord generally will prevait
the foreign.countries especially will be
the scenes Of many evil dspredations
Everyone should take good care OK
their health, as many disease microbes
are flying about in search of prey.
Weakness and lameness of the loius
and back, also kidney trouble will be
prevalent. April is the month wheH
the gardener should be on the lookout
tor late frosts. Remember we are
not yet out ofreach of snow blockades
and billiards." in ali probabilities
the month will be very changeable-
The greatest danger from storm peri
DDS will occur between the 5th and 9th
Easter Sunday, the I2th, falls neat
Full Moon, therefore the weather
conditions at this time will be very
unsettled, and do not be surprised il
the Easter bonnets receive "cooT
reception. Watch out for severe
electrical storms the latter part of the
month. See Calendar in Storms aES
Signs, 10 cents copy. The South
ern and Western States will be liable
to high gales and cyclone weathet-
A number of beautiful sunset scenes
will be witnessed this month.
April nth there will be a partial
eclipse OF the Moon, the beginning
visible generally in Africa, Europe,
Western portion of Asia and Easteru
South America; the ending visible in
South America, Eastern North Amer
ica, Europe and Africa.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09

liction over 100000 square miles of
Serritory.
In strange comparison with the sal
ary of the chief ruler Of France is that
If the emperor of Austria, who re-
;eives each year 900. The king
If Sweden and Norway, within whose
domains 6,700,0O0 persons live, has
;575,000 a year salary The king of the
3elgians, who ostensibly directs the
lestinies of the people of that populous
and prosperous country, receives
100000, while the ruler of the Neither
ands gets only 100000, though the
population of the Dutch colonies in
sarious parts of the world is nearly
}0,000,0O0
1t will be remarked as peculiar that
Germany, now one of the three great
empires of the world, pays no salary
20 its kaiser. He draws his annual
stipend as king of Prussia, however,
and the empire gives to him 1915, to
be spent in presents for needy subjects
and $4,000 for the salaries of his ad-
jutants.
The Russian emperor has a state in
come of almost $9,0o0,O0O a year, be-
sides drawing several millions more as
.hief of the house of Romanoff. The
sing of Italy has an annual salary of
O2,s50,000 The king of Greece is ruler
If only 100000 people but receives
salary of 100000 year. The king of
Roumania gets $3.50, 800 and the king of
.;ervia $4,000.
Great Britain paid to Queen Victoria
s1,925,O00, exclusive of payments made
so the members of the royal family and
their relatives and exclusive of the
queens revenue from the duchy of
Lancaster, and there were many other
amounts paid to her each year appro-
priated by the nation, which swelled
Aer income to an enormous amount.
There are presidents Of railroads
insurance and other corporations in
New York and elsewhere who receive
salaries Of $4,000 and upward. with
many opportunities for greatly in
ereasing their incomes, Yet their Ia
0ors and responsibilities are insienifi-
cant when compared with those of The
president of the United States.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09
THE PAY OF RULERS.
King of Saxony Is the Best Paid of
the Entire Lot.
President of the United states Mt the
Foot of the List-EmpcrOrs ana
kings Are Expensive
LuNuries.

No president of the United States
out of his salary. 1t seems strange the
chief ruler must be obliged to
teave his Office "A poorer man than
when he entered upon his duties.
Washington never accepted a penny
Of his salary and it cost him a large
sum TO entertain while president.
None of his successors has followed
his money-refusing precedent.
But the country was poor when
George Washington presided over its
'lestinies. 1t has been different since
The United States has prospered won
lerfully, yet not only the president,
out all the federal officers are poorly
paid, considering their services and the
salaries of state, county and city Off
GERS. As to the president, persons ask
IN wonder if $4,000 year is not suili-
cient. They do not appreciate there is
4 great house to maintain, constantly
occurring receptions and numberless
expenses forced upon the president.
Although the president of the United
States is ruler over 100000 600 of peo-
ple, his salary is only $4,000, while the
sing of Portugal, ruling over 4.50O,00O
people, receives each year $775,OOO.
The king of SaXony, king in name
only and by no manner of means in
fact, the most important and arduous
affairs of SaXony being controlled and
directed from Berlin, receives a salary
If $725,000, the area of SaXony being
$500 square miles and the population
100000. The president of the repub-
lie of France gets an annual allowance
IF $125,000, but there is an enormous
additional allowance for expenses.
France is nation of &C, 600, 900, colonies
included, and the president of the
French republic exercises legal juris-
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09
hitting the Finger Nails.

Watch that baby does not get this
habit The annoying habit of nail
biting, common among children, is Gu
rable in its earlier stages without re-
sorting to the trick of rubbing the
finger tips with bitter stuffs. Mani
cure the child's nails carefully, and see
thatthere are no hangnails. Cutrather
deeply into the corners, and file the
nails short. Children often bite their
nails because they are not quite com
Portable A ragged edge on one nail
is bitten to make it. smooth, and the
foundation of the habit is laid, If the
little fingers were cared for regularly
from babyhood few children would
adopt the disagreeable practice.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09
EDWARD M. SHEPARD.
toned for the Democratic Nom
inntion for President.

Edward NJ. Shepard, who was the
principal orator at the recent Jackson
day banquet of the Iroquois club at
Chicago, has been mentioned promi-
nently as candidate for the demo-
cratic nomination for president in 1904,
and his address was looked forward to
with much interest and anticipation.
Mr.. Shepard is an eminent and wealthy
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09

Courtesy proved profitable invest
nent to S. II. Brown, conductor on Il
street railroad in Buffalo, n. y. In
October, 1901, he met Il lady and her
two daughters in car, and learned
that they had become penniless
through the loss of the lady's purse.
He advanced Is cents to pay their
fares, and the lady took his address.
A short time ago he received letter
postmarked Philadelphia, and in it
was a new 81 900 bill, with letter
thanking him for his courtesy over a
wear before.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09
FRANCIS FOR PRESIDENT.
Friends of Former Missouri Govern.
or Think He would Make
strong Candidate.

Serious consideration is given to the
availability of Former Gov. David II.
Francis, of Missouri, as a democratic
candidate for the presidency in 1904.
~ strong movement is under way to
bring out for the consideration of
democrats the great advantages his
advocates say the party would receive
through having Mr.. Francis for its
standard bearer. He has many friends
among the solid men of the democratic
party, and they are willing to work for
delegates from all sections of the coun-
try
Mr.. Francis is described as the most
popular man in Missouri He was gov
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09
OLD TREASURE WAGON.
More TuIan Four billions of noIInrs
Have Heen Carried in This
New York Cart.

Down in the sub-basement of the old
custom house in New York, along with
the ash cans and rubbish barrels, there
stands a sturdy little wagon which has
carried in its day more than $4,000, ,00O,-
600 of Uncle Sans money.
When the little wagon was consigned
TO the scrap heap some time ago Gus
todian Lawlor decided to preserve it
if he could.
"I've been here now for nearly 20
years" said Mr.. Lawlor, land it amt
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09
NEW YoRK's DUCHESS.
She Is Now in vienna 60 Have Hear
ing Restored by II Famous
Austrian Specialist.

The duchess Of Marlborough has re-
Gently come to Vienna for the second
time for a prolonged stay.
She came there late last autumn to
consult a \b2nna specialist, DR.. Isdor
Muller, ab,Nt deafness, and he began
to treat her. but having planned to at
tend the Delhi durbar, the duchess in
sisted on leaving Vienna, despite Dr.
Muller's warning that the possibilities
of cure largely depended on prompt
treatment.
She has just returned, accompanied
by her sister-in-law, Lady Norah Spen-
Ger Churchill.
The duchess ailmcnt has steadily
grown worse and English specialists
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09

stopped by a superior officer and or
dered back.
What did you do?" asked his com
panion.
Il waited until the officer had passed
on and then proceeded to where the
boys were fighting,' said the presi-
dent.
The monument to mark this sacred
spot, says Leslie's Weekly, has been
designed by the Hughes Granite g. Mar
BILE company, of Clyde, o.. whose plant
is within eight miles of the Oak Wood
cemetery, at Fremont, where lies the
dust of President Hayes. The monu-
ment is a cylindrical shaft, 81 feet six
inches high, surmounted by a granite
eagle on a granite ball. Upon cor
ner of the die rests an allegorical fig
ure of peace and Bereavement" hold
ing palm branch. Two bas-relief por-
traits of Mckinley, one representing
him at the time he entered the army
and the other just before his untime-
ly death at Buffalo, appear on the die.
On the face of the lower die will be a
bronze battle scene representing the
central idea of the whole scheme by
showing Mckinley, the soldier boy.
serving hot coffee to his comrades un-
der arms. The Ohio Legislature has
appropriated nearly $4,000 for the ten
monuments. of which $4,000 is especial
" appropriated for the Mckinley mon
ument. The purpose is to have il the
finest monument on the battlefield.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-04-09
The RattIesnnke,s Rattle.

The rattlesnake's rattle consists of
number of hollow, horny rings, some
what like quill in substance, and inter
locked with one another, while they
are so elastic as TO permit of consid-
erable amount of motion between
them. These rings are not indicative
of age, as has been supposed, since in
some years several appear, while in
others only one ring may be developed.