The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-03-29
FUN OF THE WORLD.


They telling one on Representative Little
from Pittsburg:
Il spoke in pittsburg last fan said Ltseaela.
Yes replied the Pittsburg Il for Office
there and beaten by only 7ea"
Heavens" said Littiefeld Il am not usually so
fatal as that l spoke 1900
Mercer. and they didn't beat him until 1sas."
z
The Hon Timothy D. Sullivan in a running CONVEX
sation the other day, let fail his definition of a
'ehump" He's chap" said the newly-eiected
gresham for the Eighth who il it were raining so
gold pieces. wouldn't get a
Z K Z <
Representative Sibley. Pennsylvania who was
elected TO the Fifty-sixth Democrat
to the Fif;y-seventh as a Republican. making
trust speech
What side sibley taking?" asked Representative
Nevin OF Representative Kyle.
II don't know" said Kyle only heard him talk
fifteen minutes. He may have shifted them
z < sx
Representative Dwight. of New York. small son
who came up TO the Capitol with him last
Come son. said Mr. Dwight. during the after
noon. Il am going the side to
F1att about post-ofhce."
They hand in hand Platts committee-roonn.
There the small boy was formerly introduced the
Senator
Mr. Patt' the boy piped after shaking hands
please div post-office too
"Ah. hal" said the "a chip the
z < z z
No better evidence Of the prosperity George
wallacks theatre. New York. be cited than
nished by incident in which figured dur
ing his visit to New York recently. the
correspondent OF the Cincinnati Enquirer. AIDE had
sulu.'' but neglected engage seats advance On
the night he arrived at the theatre
and he compelled TO apply TO the enterprsng
ulators' on the sidewalk Excusng himself TO his
friends for stepped door and beck
oned to of the pirates"
What have you got?' asked author n good west
idom.
How many?" demanded the sidewalk broker.
-Four" replied the author digging up roll of bills
How much?" asked Mr.. AIDE.
That's rght-Sae-s5 each" replied the ticket rner-
chant passing the coupons and snatching gold
backed bill from the authors hand before pro-
test. Mr. AIDE stood speeches. a moment as the
pirate darted off another then went
inside looking like after losing his in
barber shop. Later hunted up manager of Wal
lacks and started tell his troubles stopped
by the exclaimng: See here didn't you see
that sign Tickets purchased the sidewalk will be
refused the door? you bought you seats o. specu
lators you'll have to out"
Bought nothing declared the author dryIy II
didn't bought anything. l in here report
that was held and robbed right in front of your
ag e
Yes, my autobiograp hical book My Life in Many
States and in Foreign Lands. has had a good sale"
said George Francis Train 10 the other day.
but it is surprising how people free copies.
"Indeed?" remarked the reporter. Yes" added the
aged Citizen Train. disgustedly, there
impression abroad that accommodation train
certain of the old school, who had preached
sermon of the finest odashioned favor after depor-
ing the new-fanged doctrines of II his younger
brethren-especally the ideas and other
historic places which they incucae their dscourses
wound up his discourse by saying: LAS for me.
brethren the hell of fathers good enough
Senator Foraker does much for society. but
of he is obliged many during
the season at Washington The other evening he
heard to give the following order his coachmsn:
Drive us to Senator - 20 dinner then call and
take Mrs. --' reception At twelve call for
TO TO the - and after that take the
madhoUse.'
agR K
There aspiring citizen n Mississippi used
srandiloQuenly the familiar saying: The Office
should seek the not the the Office" one
occasion he observed eectioneering himself
the oldfashioned style. with whisky cigars. Being
his lofty utterances he answered. Il
still maintain my position. The once should
man; but by CAD. sab the should be around when
the office is looking for him"
gg
bismarck occasion told Sidney Whitman Of
the following incident which occurred when he din
ms with Emperor William: i had some champagne in
my glass the taste of which made suspicious When
the butler again passed table 1 get
the label the bottle but this was Impossible for
napkin wrapped around IT, then
emperor to enquire the OF the particular brand
when his majesty blurted that indeed German
champagne Duetscher schaumwein Yes emperor
said ! drink II from motives Of economy. have
strongly recommended TO my officers for the
reason. Then again. / drink IL from patriotic
tives. Thereupon. said emperor. With me,
majesty patriotism stops short the region nay
stomach !"
x * gaz
Gladstone explained General James Grant
Wilson how he 10 be logged be n the
forme called the Remove" which vas presided
by master whom he designated a H.. q shady
ter, much given to drink: Il praeposter
a certain day. AMI kindness good
induced the list Of
whom ii. had complained. and who ought have been
logged the day the Of three offenders
These boys Booth caIed from his long snlpe
BoothD and two brothers named Yowles who
stantiy being fogEe5. The three boys question
around with that their friends coming
down from London TO them and that n they
put nogging list they could their
friends. Next day. when I into school H. rosTei
out voice Of thunder. Gladstone. put down your
name the list Of boys b. logged Then. looking
around the FORM he added rs there boy whom
discharge the duties q Yraeposter and
what ten him. Upon this appeal boy called BoBgh-
ey stood ~. and him. BY HIS desire Z
the list There remember. = great deal az dry
hu-or Ia II which Re showed n Hsroiifoa-
a bishop % Salisbury. day II called
out 20 the praeposter write Haniltons name
70 be rogged breaking ny window I broke
retorted II write down Harnf;ons breaking
my ~ind0v sn6 lying rron ny roti ssr. aid
DO It.. CALCULATED the boy. with in-rsas~d suphzsis