Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-11-27


rfages. on the installment plan. would
either have scared him into retrench-
ment had he expected to live, or the
funeral director" into fits had that
sadly elaborate functionary dreamed
that he was selling goods to a would-be
corpse slightly ahead of the usual date.
AT last, the time having arrived when
he felt that he could shake on this
mortal coil" with an after effect that
would simply drive Agnes wild. and the
hypnotic beard possibly into being
shaved out of sight as well as mind,
FSmidt got out his morphine capsules
one fine, warm night, intending when
morning dawned that though his body
might be caught inside the bed. his soul.
as far as he might have any say SO about
it, should be lowering invfsibly about
to see what would happen. lowering in
visib1yi The phrase so tickied his
fancy that he lay down to chuckle PEN
sively over various but vivid imaein-
| ings, and presently reached for the NOR
phine. or thought he did. Then-then-
When he woke up the gas was OUT
! and through an open window the moon
light was streaming. Evidently he was
not dead, and yet the capsules on the
| table were gone. Could he have taken
| them in a fit of somnabulism? A vague,
terrible thrill caused him to jump up.
breathe deeply, then dejectedly light
the gas to hunt for more morphine. He
felt perplexed, mystified. then
a-a-a-h-h-hH!
The cOfhn-no, burial casket, 1t wa1
also GONE! Likewise the shroud. Like.
wise the gloves, Grape, orders for how-
ers, and everything else he had for
weeks patiently starved and stinted
himself to secure and half pay for, in
order to afford the one grand, CHASTITY
luxury. He tottered to the open win.
dow and found stepladder and a paint.
scarified window-sili. with nothing be-
yond but silence, vacancy and the moon
Burglars! The truth sickened him
And to steal, of all things, his burial OUT
fit. Well. it was valuable enough. And
now, all was gone-even to the NOR.
phine. Dare he call out, make himself
as ridiculous in life as he had hoped to
be glorious in death? Hardly. Dare
he die and be huddled anyhow into
cheap coffin and a common dirt grave
followed by debts and cursings insteae
of the remorseful tears of-he staggered
back and fell on the bed. He darei
neither call out nor die. He must con
tinue to live. And SO he did.
Tremblingly he sought out ths
funeral director" with infinite prom
ises of gradual payment on his lips, bu'
was met smilingly by that imposing
parsonage, who held forth a bill re
ceipted Gin full of all demands against
Hamlet Smidt, OR HIS HEIRS, and
signed by
80. X. Seymour, M. D."
The successful rival! Smidt fell
worse than ever. Was the hypnotic
beard to pursue him in com ,niseratior
as we'll as triumph through life in the
place of Agnes remorse in death?
The maddening mystery was less un
endurable than the fancied humiliation
But even unexpected solvency has Ger.
tain ~enal consultations. Hamlet tooB
his summer vacation, sought to hide his
misery in Neptune's arms, and found
just a little too far out-Agnes. She
was trying vainly, 1t would seem, to es-
cape from that salty old Lothario's
clutch and regain the life lines. Smidt
saw his revenge in sight at last; mortal
sight at that. After q strenuous strug-
gle with fierce undertow he succeeded
in bringing her into water where one
receding wave left them, momentarily.
just enough breath for utterance.
Pardon the liberty, M-m-Mrs. SIS
Seymour" he painted. Had any one
else been near. I would not have in
truded-'
! Young man." interrupted Agnes, Sc
verely, you certainly do need guar
dian. Cousin Dolly Seymour says you
do-ah!-there they come now
isn't that Dolly Barrison and y-your
husband" stammered poor Smidt, his
mental self-heroics oozing away.
"Mine!" screamed Agnes, as the cou-
pie in question waved from the sand
dunes on their way back from the links
you poor, dear, silly thing! Dolly and
the doctor were married yesterday; ]
was bridesmaid. 1t was very private
almost an elopement, owing to Uncle
Barrison's opposition. If you had not
stayed so persistently away; with such
horribly morbid notions. too, you would
have understood, and you might have
been the doctors best man. I-we-he
wanted you, and a"
She was blushing. Here a last feeble
reach from Neptune sp1ashed over them
Smidt seized his opportunity to save
Agnes again. If in the excitement he
kissed and held her closely for a mo-
ment, surely much may be forgiven
when Love, having at last kick ed Folly
out of the way, comes to his own
even in heart SO simple as that O!
Hamlet Smidt.
Later on they sought the doctor foi
masculine enlightenment.
81 say, Seymour; those burglars, you