Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-12-26
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gltl Tor fear she'll bring a breach of
promise suit
Her Papa-And If ] say no? The
Suitor Wei. confess it won't have
the same effect on me as if your daugh-
ter said it-Pnck.
The Infant Musician Has Hairo-
witch always shown Il talent for
musict' Yes; even as child he cried
every time his hair was cut"-Lifo
Crawford Women arc never salts
tied. Crabshaw-That's so. My wife
begged me 10 get her a sealskn coat
aud now she wants to go South for the
winter.
Perfect Happiness. DO YOU really
believe there is such n thing in this
world as perfect happiness'?" "Of
course, hut some other fellow always
has il. philadelphia Ledger.
4 EpITAPH OF YE BOOK AGENT.
Learned he was not, in
Greek or Geography.
All he had studied was
Ought-to-buy-og
Life.
+ The Poets Meals. I'm nearly fam
shed," sighed the garnet poet. but
you told me you had two meals day.
/ said the friend. Eyes; oatmeal and
cornmeal. Philadelphia Record
Say, pa" querled little Billy.
what's an echo?'' IAN echo my SON"
replied the old man, with sigh long
drawn out, is the only thing that can
! tlm-fam woman out of the last
word"
Archibald saved the widow
from drowning, you know. but he
couldn't save himself She--You sure
ly don't mean that he lost his life? He
/ Not exactly. The widow married
him
\ Warning. Mifkins~-That scoun-
drel. Jobson. called me an idiot Bif-
kins-He didn't prove it, did he? Milf
/ kins-No; but Blfkins
/ Id advise you let the matter drop, or
! he might-thicago News.
1 PATRON suppose the leading lady
is very happy after getting all those
/ bouquets u'sher-Oh no. She only
got five. patron--Gracious isn't that
enough? Usher No; she paid for six,
| believe, Philadelphia Press.
The Mystery of II. II can't under
STAN" said Uncle Eben, how II is dat
some folks kin be too proud to work
m at de same time humble enough
TO let de family give EN- board an
I In
Reversing the Order. Willle--Pa.
you don't get chestnuts until after
there's a frost. do you? Pa--Except In
the case of farce comedy, my son
rhcn the chestnuts come FIRST, and the
'rost afterward. Philadelphia Press.
a Proud Lobster Tommy Atkins
Nv, gwan. Mike, yer lobster! Mike
We father me. Shure. n Holsters n
wise animal, fur green Is the color fur
him as long as he lives, an he'll die
before he puts Oh a red coat.--PhiIadel-
phia Press
The Great Game Of Chance "But
why" asked the authorities, "are YOU
Young women so interested In this
anti gambling crusader Because"
was the reply, III we succeed marriage
will BE the only game of chance left
,pen to the men,"-Chicago Post.
Working Both "Dr Sharp Ia quite
wealthy, isn't he? Did he make all his
money from his practiceT' Not all OF
t, He's the principal owner Of very
arge oil well up the State, and"
And he makes money from the sick
and the well, toe" Philadelphia
Press.
ieaiousies In your progressive cuchre
'lubT NO, indeed" answered young
Mrs. Torkins; when we buy prizes we
( are always careful to select things that
no one really wants. 80 that the win
ner will not be an object Of envy
Washington Star
/ Cause of II. - haven't quite deter
mined" said the Charles Street father.
whether To have my daughters voice
cultivated here or abroad What
would you suggest" OH said the
jbigine nelRhbor abroad. by all
/ bStlilS II tINl lIlHs ? W lifif ~ al START
/ d Baltimore News
"How's your motherT' asked the
lcighbor. Worried 10 death" an
,wercd the boy who was swinging on
he front gate. Fathers away hunt.
ng. brother Bits gone TO Il political
convention, brg;hes Jake's joined a
/ 'ootball team. ana the drossmaker Just
old mother that she'd look q fright In
mourning"
Mother-lou cant stay in this hot
lily. why don't yoD tell your hus
1and yon must 20 IL summer resort?
Bride--I-l don't dare Mother-Why
nOtf Bride-If he says no" | win
oe miserable because } cant 20. and If
lie says yes, ! VIII be miserable be-
'ause he can live without me.--New
York Weekly.
Gee hizzr' exclaimed The reuort-
ar innhfnfr IA.