The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1903-02-12
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~ 10 OCSOmihs dtihOst as 0dhSClOuo
to ride in automobiles as to be In front
of them. This may bring reform.-Ex.
Culture: Ruth-Mr. Jenkins has such
an air Of culture. hasn't he? Tom
Gealous)-Hum-yes, agriculture.-Kan-
sas City Journal.
Defined and Described: Teacher
What is farm? Bright Little Girl
A piece Of land entirely covered by
mortgage.-Detroit Free Press.
Teaching Him: Toni can read
your thoughts. Clara-I can hardly
believe 1t. for If you could you wouldn't
sit so far away.-Indianapoli Jour
nal.
Fully Covered: A woman on the
death Of her husband telegraphed to
distant friend: Dear Joseph is dead.
Loss fully covered by insurance. Tit
Bits.
All Hers: "Ah, but count" she
cried. do you love me for myself
alone?' Yes" he replied, you are
your fazaires only child. "-Chicago
1lIueS-derdlQ.
Little Willie-Say, pa, what's an ego
fist! Pam egotist, my son, is a man
who tells you those things about him.
self which you intended to tell him
about yourself.-Chicago News.
Instructor lin despair)-Well, at least
you can tell me where the Magma
Charta was signed? Student Cheer
fully)-Oh. yes! King John signed that
at the bottom.-Harvard Lampoon.
Sure enough: Little Elmer-Papa,
what Is the hand of providence? Pro-
lessor Broadhead-The hand of provi-
dence, my son, is what we usually see
in the misfortunes of others.-Puck.
Bridget, did you hear the bell %
"Yes-sum." "Why don't you go to the
door, them? Sure, mum. I'm not ex-
pectin' amy one. 1t must be some
body to see you. Baltimore Herald.
To Remove the Shells Mrs. New
wed lat dinner)-Mandy, why do you
serve nutcrackers with the turkey?
Mandy-Well, yo' done tole me to stuff
de turkey wifi observation-disclosures Free
Press.
TOMMY think mamma is an awful
gossip. Ethel-Oh, Tommy! how can
you say such thing? Tommy-Well
she is; everything | do she Immediate
~ goes and tells papa. l hate gossip
-Tit-Bits.
Il see Newlywed at the Country
Club quite often since his baby came.
l thought he was firmly anchored to
home life" He was, but at the
first squall he began to drag his an
chor."-Puck.
Optional: do you have to ask your
wife for money!" faltered the little
man with the hunted look in his eyes
mot on your lifer' replied the large,
! brusque man; but rather than go
without, l sometimes dow-Detroit
Journal.
A Hardship of Modern War: She
The strain on the soldier in modern
warfare must be very great. He-It
Is Sometimes the photographer isn't
ready, and you have to wait hours
and then the pictures may prove fail
ures.-Judge.
Early lessons in ornithology: Squire
Ito rural lad)-Now. my boy, tell me
how do you know an old partridge
from young one?, Boy-By teeth, sir.
Squire-Nonsense. boy! You ought to
know better. A partridge hasn't got
any teeth. Boy-No. sir; but / have
Punch.
An enthusiastic sightseer in London
was telling her friend that she had
been fortunate enough to get a good
view Of Lord Kitchener. "Ah," said
the friend, Il suppose he is a very
bellicOse MANI" "Oh, no." was the
reply, quite slim assure you."-Chi-
cago News.
Mother-You naughty boy! You've
been fighting. Little Son-No, mother.
Mother-How did your clothes get torn
and your face get scratched? Little
Son-I was trying to keep a bad boy
from hurting a good little boy. Mother
That was noble. Who was the good
little boy? Little Son-Me.-Pittsburg
Bulletin.
Answered by telephone: Parker
| What's wrong. You seem worried.
Streeter-I am. l wrote two notes
one to my broker asking him if he took
me for fool. and the other to Miss
Iolding asking her If she would be
nine. While l was out somebody
.elephoned Yes and l don't know
which of 'em it was.-Chicago News.
"Would you advise me to read The
virginian'Y' the fair young girl looked
up and asked him. "Not yet" he