The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-04-12

CCHWARTz GETS
y A NEW CUSTOMER.
A Man Up. to snuff Drops IN at
the Sseoad Avenue Saloon and
Is Pssticu.as About His Bill.

und on der fence doee show bills vos chew
Ing like aibrytinks on. vos such foolish
ness having said Jakey Schwartz In his
little Second avenue place.
dot Teller he vos yesterday como by my
place In. ind poody awick vos on der chair
by dot table sitting round.
Fin beer.' he sayt, yoost like he voe in
such hurry he coodt not for der shteam
cars a minute be Waiting. 'Und not dot
American SHOPS, you are hearing me! he
| psyt. Imbortet beer, und der best you voc
ofe It having Dot American SHOPS? Not Il
! you vos knowing mineself! Mir
'Chiminneddy!' vos by mineself say.
ing. Hero a heightened gusteemer iss
und hat In INV place neffer 40 much as vur
glass ofe imbortet beer in my life been haff.
ing! Und I bald me he iss vay up to der
shnuff being, undt coodt not foolish him
! shall be diplomacy on him using, by chin
! innedy, like q Rooshan more slicker yet.
So TO dot Teller sayt:
I'm New York der iss not such finer
imbortet beer as I am hating. but ehery
barrel Of IL witch dis minute In der house
hat der iss not 50 much. by chiminneddy,
as a pony glassfull inl It vos sooner as hot
cakes selling. dot beer. But dot American
beer vot ] hat yoost on der fraish get up
been putting. II vos higher. bald me. as
In G way up! Sure'
-'votr dot Teller les shouding. You are
not der imbortet beer haffing'
-Und sayt I VOC yoost der last glass been
selling. Dot Teller he shtrike his fist der
table nit. und he shoudtet.
Donnewitter! Und dis der place iss
ware think me It vos yoost like home,
alretty'
Den dot Teller he vos a minute sitting
like he vos thinking how der vairldt 1t all
upside down vos, und then he sayt:
wall, I expose me ooodt der American
shlops worry down q leede. But you
shoodt not away gif it, he sayt. Mine
frents, II they shall ofe dot be hearing. Colt
i'm Himmel! they shall like aibrytinks be
dissrscing myself So! I shall q schooner
10 hafYing me ofe dot American shlops,
und It shall not der collar be haffing more
thicker as nv finger on yet! So!
Il sayt / shoodt not away gin 1t. upd !
a schooner drawt him witch 1t vos q growler
full boody near holding. und dot gusteemer
he voe downing II 80 gwick vos bloody
near soaring myself ware he shall be putting
dot beer. alretty. und he sayt;
III YOU shall not away gin II shall anon.
der schooner now be haffing'
Il gwick anonder vun made him, yooss
der fairst yum like.
.'Und a seegar for foofseen cent dot
gusteemer sayt.
'Excoos me- sayt, but dot high-toned
| customers arm all der time haffing they
! buy me efYery day oudt 40 gwick ofe dot
foofseen cent seegar I ooodt not vun In del
| box an hair be keepina.' / sayt.
dot Teller he shoudtet: Himmel! II
| nv poor vader.' he sayt. vos knowing
/ shoodt by place be in ware ! shoodt be nc
seegar for foofaeen cent getting he voodt
! gwick mitoudt shilling cut me on alretty!
Il tell dot gusteemer I vos like aibrytinli
| sorry. but I vos yoost Of dot seeRar FOL
! foofseen cent der last vun selling. But,
eayt. YOU shall not In New York such Z
baider nfe-oent seegar be finding - vo'
+, yooat this minute hafflng
Il shaIl a pony beer to nine tollar b bald
ins me alretty II vos not thinking dol
hish-toned eusteemer shall be dying vel
I dot ffe-cent seegar voe shpoking mi
him!
TO- he sayt, such . shamefulneesi
Yoost like he vos to weep himself some
tears alretty Such q shamefulness? h
sayt. MY poor vaderi Himmel! He vii
to his gray hairs In sorrow bring der gravs
down II he shall find am getting myself b!
q ffe-osnt seegsr place In! Und he shal
mitoudt der price Of one cent me In his VII
oudt! Such a shamefulnees! But yol
will nefYer avav gin me'' dot fellet sayt.
~ shall Meier my right hand chop me
Of so gwick as shall gin you away sayt.
Then shall take me ofe dose hfe-cen
seegars yoost dree,' he sayt. und anondeI
schooner ofe dot American SHOPS will
try to worry down leedle, he sayt.
Il der seegars sairfed him und der
schooner. und he ofe dose seegars body
| rwick vos smoking vun. yoost like he
to ffe-cent seegars vos all his life being
used! Und he worried dot American
shlops 20 easy down like noddinksl UNI
then he vos his nose shniffing. und his lip
ehmac king. und he sayt:
.Ah-h-hi I bald me I am terapin
shmelling vot you are in der kitchen shtew
ing! Ah-h-h!' he sayt. Dose der shtui
yos! shall terrapin shtew now be hahhnG
he sayt.
Il shynole me on my face q shmilo al
Offer, I vos such Diplomacy using. und
think me shall chently break 10 him de
| news, 90 he shall not nodice II, UNI
sayt
.Doso terrapins ! vos cooking they wa
as a ten-tollsr fiddle more inner, ! shal
bald me somedinks. but they vos not u
der kitchen ehtewtng, l say Dose
terrapins vos flying l sayt. i vos Oh
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