The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-04-15
Men, Women
and Things

Mark Twain'S remarks upon the back
ward position of the verb have just
been seen by William, and the pathos
of them struck his heart, or this may
be an intended reform with which his
Imperial mind has been busy during
those days on which he was moody
and distracted. At all events he has
issued a proclamation which drags the
German verb back from the brink of
ruin upon which it has so long stood.
and put 1t In the position to which it
is entitled, that is to say the leading
part instead of forming one of the
chorus. The emperor is mighty and
has placed the verb where it belongs.
not the mighty emperor. the verb.
where it belongs has placed. This is
the last cry of progress. and we can
not hope to see anything greater than
this done during this century.
The Way of Woman.
A very astonished man rode up the
other day in the Selby avenue car;
that is. he was astonished after re-
quest made by a woman passenger.
She was a little old lady and seemed
nervous, and every little while would
start for the door and then return.
Finally she turned to the man sitting
next to her and asked him if he
would go out and help her off the car.
She went on to explain that the rea-
son that she asked him was because
whenever she had attempted to get off
and she had done so several times
she had backed down the steps and
the conductor suppoSing she was get
ting on, had rung the bell and had
gone ahead. So she said that unless
someone assisted her and held the car
until she was fairly on the ground she
feared she would never get off.
q lic-tn rtritL
ment and at the corner helped the old
lady out and then got back into the
car and meditated upon the ways of
women until he reached his corner.
When he told his wife she didn't be-
lieve it had ever happened.
Why Pietro Fell Down.
One Pietro Mascagni has reached
his native land and is having himself
interviewed in regard to his impress
s1ons of this country. What a pity
that Pietro has nothing to say of us
that is pleasant. because he is some
what prominent and we do not like
to get the great down upon US. But
he bored us and we showed it. He
was treated just like anyone else when
he got into difficulties just as if ne
wasn't anybody in particular. The
trouble with us is that we are get
ting used to great people and used to
geniuses, and can't be expected to put
ourselves out unduly for PietrO, who
except for the way he wore his hair
wasn't especially interesting. He
came over to play. not only his or
cheStra, but the American people, and
things did not turn out quite as he
hoped they would. San Francisco is
the only place that appreciated him
and to San Francisco he intends to
return before many moons. Mrs.
Mascagni says she did not like this
country because the people blow their
noses in their fingers. Where in the
world could Mrs. NJ have gone when
she was over here?
The Two Busters.
1t is strange that no one has yet re-
marked upon the likeness. between Bus
ter Brown and President Roosevelt.
Buster Brown is a small boy who lives
in the comic supplement of the Sunday
New York Herald and does stunts for
the benefit of the. public. He is active,
shows his teeth, gets everyone into aw-
full scrapes, comes out on top himself
and you never know what he is going
TO do next When he has made every
one in the vicinity perfectly miserable
he issues manifesto showing how alb
solutely right he was from his own
point of view, and the public ends by
adoring him. He is so young, so boy
ish, so impulsive, so honest, and if he is
only given time to grow up, will prove
such a comfort to his parents. Those
who are readers of the Herald merely
live from Sunday to Sunday to see
what Buster is going to do next, and
exist all the week in wonder as to what
remarkable feat will be accomplished
by this infant prodigy. In all these
things does Buster resemble the pres
ent incumbent Of Yellowstone park.
The Arrival of Mr.. Hyde.
Mr.. James H. Hyde. of New York, is a
man of many millions who proposes to
enjoy himself. Having made much
money he looked about him and saw
that the doors of society were not
closed against the worthy rich, there
fore he made up his mind that there
was no reason why he should not be
given front seat. But the truth is
that the millionaires are becoming SO
common now that the line has to be
drawn somewhere, and the powers that
be are beginning to draw it at sud
denly. acquired riches. Mr. Hyde
thought long and concluded that he
must do something never done before
If he would attract any attention from
a people already slightly bored, so he
bethought himself of running a coach
between New York city and Lakewood
In which only those could ride who
could show improbable claims to So
cial recognition. Mr.. Hyde was at
once hailed as discoverer or inventor,
one is not quite sure which. At all
events those desiring to obtain seats In
the Hyde coach must file a paper con-
tanning an account of the family his
tory, and just how much they have and
how acquired. This, of course, makes a
ride In a Hyde coach nothing short of
an event; indeed, to be seen on the
coach is better than a certificate of
character or membership in a good
club. The scramble that is now going
on to ride in the aforesaid coach is
greater than that seen when Buffalo
Bill comes to town. Mr.. HYDE has
therefore arrived.
Mere Man Neglected.
The question has recently been asked
why do not the Sunday supplements tell
men how to be beautiful; why not, in
deed? Why is 1t considered necessary to
furnish so much advice to women upon
how to become more comely. and moth
ing for men to become less homely il?
For there is no doubt that men are
greatly in need of some rules for beau
tifying their compilations as it is the
expert opinion of some one who knows
that handsome men are rapidly be-
coming a thing Of the past. Indeed. If
can be truly said that homely men are
the fashion, and thus vogue is given to
many who would otherwise be unno-
ticed.
DR.. Ames, of Minneapolis, says it IS
extremely unlikely that he will ever
run for mayor again. Something must
have discouraged him. Nab.
ST PaI3l