davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-04-26
DON'T BET ON YOUR WATCH.
Advice of a Jeweler Who Has Had
 Many Wagers to Decide.

From the New York Sun.
 In the windows of nearly all the big retail jewelry stores downtown are chro- nometers. In fact, the chronometer has become the most valuable part Of the window display.
 Two prosperous-looking men. after comparing their watches the other day with one of these chronometers were seen to go inside the store and a few minutes later to reappear As they did so one of the men passed a roll of bills to the other. Then they laughed, shook hands and separated.
 The jeweler stood inside and smiled.
 Its funny" he said to a Sun report CT, "how many people there are in this world who have the betting fever and how foolshly they risk their money. Those two men are samples. Before the day is over I've no doubt half dozen more will be in to get me to decide sim liar bets. Every day we nave some.
 What did they bet on? Why, on the nearness of their watches to the correct time. Of course, two men who make such a bet have the betting hunch to be- gin with. Then they are also stuck on the watches they carry.
 There was the difference of two sec- onds between the watches in the case
 
 hands. I've known It to be as high as hundred.
 'The difference between any two watches is rarely less than half second. It's generally more. But when bet is made men generally want the jeweler to decide 1t and, of course we're always willing. I guess quite a few thousands have changed hands on my decisions by this time
 "A man will get watch abroad and pay big money for it. He'll meet a friend who has bought one of the crack Ameri- can watches, and If they've got the sporting instinct bet will almost inva- rably follow a comparison of the watches.
 Perhaps both men have set their watches that day or the day before, and so are willing to wager all the money they've got with them. and that's often a big roll
 When one of them finds that his watch, instead of being almost with the chronometer, is, say 25 seconds out he's the most surprised man in the world.
 "A man who bets on q watch, although he may think he's betting on the surest thing in the world, Is betting on some- thing more uncertain than race horse. You can tell generally when the horse isn't going to run well. but you can't tell that about your watch.
 q wouldn't bet on the correctness of my time from here to the next block. In just that distance the handspring might develop the weakness that no test thus far devised can detect v nen it's made. and your watch is off. Then you lose your money If you are foolish enough to bet on what you thought was Q sure thing"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-04-26
slapdash Insurance.

There is a great increase in England of life insurance without medical ex- animation, system highly praised by some experts.
 Broadly stated, the position of the com pnaies which seek the business is that the benefit of selection in keeping down the death rate exhausts itself in the first few years, and thereafter the mortality is above average.
 If policies were issued to the first 10000 apparently healthy men met in the streets by agents of the company, the mortality of the group would be much the same as that of 10000 insured lives of similar ages who had passed a strict examination five years previously.
 Accordingly, in risks taken without ex- animation, an extra charge of $4 per $500 is made for the first year and $2 extra for the next two years. the rate after that heing normal; or a proviso is made that in case of death within five years only part of the premium Is to be paid With these precautions the business is considered conservative.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-04-26

goes to the distilleries and becomes an important factor in the brewing industry, and the concentrated, liquid glucose, that goes to the confectioners and becomes an item in the manufacture of confectionery. syrups and jellies, are both derived from starch by an elaborate chemical and re- fning treatment
 All these products are made by chemi- cal reactions first carefully studied on a small scale in such theoretical labora- tories as that of the institute and then applied on a large one in big manufac- turing plants. Grape sugar. so called from its general resemblance to the sugar sometimes found on the exterior of dried grapes, Is an ideal fermenting sugar and Is therefore much used in the manufac- ture of sparkling ales, the gases which it gives off during fermentation producing the necessary sparkle better than any other agency. And corn Is also largely used in the production of malt food and liquors. which owe their valuable proper ties to matrose, or malt sugar. derived by chemical transformations from the starch in grains.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-04-26
MODERN FABLES BY GEORGE AIDE.
GEORGE ADE-c0pyrIght 1aOa ay Robert Howard Russell
Jp the Family and Give t a Standing,

As Director of the Training School she had to call them down about 1000 times per Day. When she had Company the Boys always forgot to arise when a Lady en- tered the Room. When Dinner was announced, they were always first at the Table. Instead of conversing with the Persons seated next to them, they bumped over and got busy with the Victuals.
 As for the Girls, they usually flocked in a Corner and had a Whispering Bee. At the Table they would get an Attack of the Giggles, without letting any one else in on the Good Thing, thus making it very enjoyable for the Guests.
 To cap the Climax, the Male Parent would usually try to lift the Gloom by springing some ancient Wheeze, outlawed by Haverly's Minstrels as far back as 1880.
 Ma had poor Chance to win Social Standing so long as she was handicapped by that Band of Yo- kels. Just when she would be talking Art with a Massachusetts Accent, one of the Boys would break in with Demand for a Sec ond Helping of Cauliflower. Or else the Prize Blacksmith, in a we'll meaning effort to be Hospitable, would urge the Lady Opposite to pitcl in and Eat somo more.
 After Dinner it often happened the Ma would tout the Accomplish ments of the Young Ladies. Ac- cordingly they would be urged to Play Something. At which they would hang back and snicker and do Sis Hopkins Speciality.
 While they were killing Time, Father would usually fall asleep with his Mouth open or else one of the Boys would upset something in trying to do a Sneak from the Room.
 As soon as the last unhappy Guest had escaped into the Night, there would be a large-sized Roast waiting for the whole Tribe. Ma would sit up until 1 o'clock remind ing them of all the Horrible Breaks tIey had made. She said that sit ting around in the Kitchen crack ing Hickory Nuts was about their Size when it came to playing the Society Game. She allowed that they would be more at Home if they moved out to some Ranch and associated with the Live Stock. When Ma got riled she forgot her Culture Club training and handed out a very Tobasco Line of Con- versition.
 She said she was good and tired of t;ying to make Ladies and Gen tlemen out of a Flock of Yaps wflo took after their Father.
 At this, she would get Rise out of Father He said he didn't propose to strain himself being Po- lite to lot of Four Flushes who owed him Money. That was the Trouble with Father. He was Presi- dent of the Company and seemed to think that his Official Position gave him the Right to break Crack ers into his Soup. He refused to wear White Tie with his Evening Clothes just because some cheap Tfrait tment Manager had set the Style.
 As for the Offspring, they were
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-04-26

~ Once there was Happy NJJ1 Family that began to get " a few hard Bumps when
 Ma bought Work on Et- iquette. Up to that time the Outfit had not tried to throw on any Lugs.
 The Male Contingent slouched around the House in their Shirt Sleeves, while the Girls often came ,o Breakfast in their Balloon Wrap pers and never thought of primp- ing until 3 P. M. Father had an assortment of Rube Table Man ners left over from his early Ex- perience on the Farm.
 He never saw the sense of changing Knives when he hacked into the Butter and as for using the side of the Spoon, he never could get the Hang of 1t.
 Up to the Time that he married and became House-Droke he had been Sword-Swallower in a $4 Beanery. For years he up-ended his Soup Plate, so as to get all that was coming to him, and cooled his Coffee in the Saucer and concluded his Exhibition of Bar barrie Sports by using large, lim- Der piece of Bread as Mop.
 His Wife worked on him for twenty years and finally had him so civilized that ne no longer tucked the Napkin inside of his Collar, although he still put both Elbows on the Table and groaned little just before tackling the Pie.
 Ma belonged to several Clubs and began to meet the Lady Man agers of Society. It was her Ambi- tion to lift her own Family out of the Skate Division and get the whole Bunch into the local 400. That is why she bought the volume containing this years League Rules for cutting into High Life.
 She wanted the Boys to forget their corn-fed origin and do the Reginald Act and learn how to act in the Presence of Ladies' They were mostly Hands and Feet and had no Ambition in Life except to play Base Ball, but still she went to work on them hopefully, know ing that our most Exclusive Circles are more or less cloggea up with Counterfeiters whom Nature in- tended for the Hay-Fields.
 The Girls were a sad lot when Ma lined them up and decided to transform them into Drawing Room Queens. They were Gum Cbewers of the most abandoned Type and what they did to the Eng fish Language 1t would be shame to tell Each of them was more or less stuck on some chinless Percy who wore his Watch Chain high up and rubbed himself with Eau de Cologne. They had read Popular Novels until they were trifie Moony. Their conception of Ro- nance was to eat Pickles and write Notes on Blue Paper.
 Mas Purpose in studying the Book of Etiquette was to remove the Kinks from this array of Raw Material.
 She wanted each of the Boys to be Chesterfield, while the Girls were expected to brace up and fol- low in the footsteps of Mrs. Sher wood.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-04-26

too mullet-headed to get wise to Mas magnificent System of doing the Heavy. When 1t came to a to oss-up between Pink Tea and a Variety Show, they put their Spending Money on the Coon Song. Any time that Ma dressed them up and took them out to meet the Elite. they hung back.
 At last Ma saw that the only Hope lay in shipping the whole Pack away to high-toned Schools i'll the East.
 For several Years the Rising Generation put terrific Crimp in Fathers Income, but at last they came home all speeded up and then they were so Ely that Father could not travel In the same Class and even Ma could get few Pointers from them.
 At present they are tearing Up the Scenery in their Touring Cars and they have the Nerve to tackle any kind of Society.
 MORAL: A patient Woman can Educate any one except her own Husband.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-04-26
Identified.
x ki~
From Tit-Bits .

From Tit-BIts.
 In many part of England, and especially in the villages of the Black country. 1t is quite common thing for man to be known so exclusively by nickname that his real name Is forgotten. A gentleman had occasion once to ask potter for the whereabouts of a certain John Williams.
 "John Wiliams?" repeated the man thoughtfuly, knitting his brow. 'I have heard tell of it. John Williams--it is fa- miar say, sir.'' he exclaimed, as if seized by a sudden inspiration, do he be married?'
 That's so." was the reply. 4
 And hez three of famerlyr' i7.f;ii
 q believe so." 7fNll
 "Well, sir, I'm John Williams" riAl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-04-26
HIs speechIess sensatIons.

From the St. Paul Dispatch.
 MT. J. J. Hill was as tickled over that merger decision as a parrot would be if put against the Russian alphabet.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-04-03
THE TARIFF RESPONSIBLE.
An Honest Trust Reformer Must BE
an Honest Tariff Reformer.

An Honest Trust Reformer Must Be
an Honest Tariff Reformer.
The tariff issue will not down in con-
greSs, however much the Republicans
desire to suppress discussion of it. The
extraordinary rules of the house of rep
reSentatives prevent the Democrats
from having any tariff bill brought up
for discussion; hence the Democratic
members have to inject their speeches
when other matters are up for consid-
GRAFTON. Thus it was that Mr.. Patter-
son of Tennessee made a speech in
which he said:
"FOr the cause of the growth and
perversion of corporate power we must
look primarily to the tariff laws Of the
United States. BY a studied system of
class legislation and fayoritism men
have been permitted to acquire illegiti-
mate and abnormal wealth at the ex-
pense of the general public, and once
acquired the affinity of wealth with it.
self was so strong that the anomalous
conditions existing at the present are
the inevitable result. The first and nat
of the people would. be Il ~recasting and
reduction Of tariff duties, so that if
competition be destroyed within it
should come from without and give to
the masses the benefit of fairer and
freer. markets. In my opinion, Mr..
Chairman, no man can be an honest
trust reformer unless he is an honest
tariff reformer.'
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-04-03

being a great reformer, but the only re-
form he is at present intent upon is to
induce the Republican party to change
It's policy of never nominating rs its
candidate any one who has beer vice
president. That reform is occupying
all his time and attention, and his most
strenuous efforts will be entirely con
fined to that until the national Rcpub-
licanconyention meets:
The only chance for those Republic
n who are anxious for political or
business reasons to see the tariff re
formed by the next congress is to in
dHce sixteen Republican members of
the house of representatives to vote
with the Democrats to pass Such a
bill. The Republican majority in the
next congress is thirty, and a change
of sixteen can elect whom they wish
as speaker. Change the rules that now
give the ~oligarchy complete control,
Il the same combination could pass
any legislation it may deem best.
The senate would in all probability re-
fuse to pass such reform measures, but
popular opinion is very powerful just
before a national campaign, and such
a miracle is just possible. But don't
count on Teddy until after the Repub-
lican national convention has either
nominated him for president or turned
him down for some one else. In the
latter case look out for squalls. The
White House will be a warm place,
and any old thing may happen.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-04-03
An Expensive President,

President Roosevelt has expensive
tastes. He entertains more than any of
his predecessors. Every week during
the eason there have been two or
more entertainments, dinners, recep-
tons, musicales. ~teas-pink. and red.
The r%enovating of the White House,
just completed, cost $475,445; the orig
inal cost was less than 100000. How
this large sum has been expended is
hard to say, but it has nearly all been
spent on the inside decorations. The
running expenses for this year We're
$4,000; there is appropriated for next
year $S0,500. The lighting of the White
House and grounds cost this year ST.
$50; next year it will be $24,6S0. When
the items of these expenditures are
published it will be interesting to know
how it was expended. The less than
two years of the present administra-
ton has SO far cost more than a whole
term of any other president.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-04-03
The ship Trust scandal.

The bribery scandal in the national
house of representatives has been
hustled up by the committee of investi-
CATION reporting a whitewash for all
the reputed participants except Doblin,
the perjurer. Hon. Z. g. Quigg, ex-
member Of the house, and Lessler, the
member who was said to have been
bribed, eem anxious to drop any fur
therA avestigations, which the report of
the Democratic minority of the com.
mittee demanded. The two reports
have not been acted upon audit is hard
" likely they Will be. for a further In
~vestigation might develop some uncom-
Portable matters about other statesmen.
There is always a strong scent Of scan.
dal around when the trusts are inter
ested, and the ~shipbuilding trust has
an especially unsavory record.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1903-04-03

Grover Cleyeland is coming west
con He been west befhre, however,
md his coming causes no unusual stir.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-08-27
HOLINESS PEOPLE
 GET INTO TROUBLE
PREACHERS ARE ARRESTED IN ANNISTON ON A CHARGE OF DISoRDERLY CONDUCT, BUT ARE DISMISSED.

Anniston, August 6-(Special )-Quite a stir was caused among the Holiness people, who are conducting services on the streets. when Chief of Police Sweets arrested three of their preachers for dis orderly conduct yesterday afternoon The preachers arrested were the Revs Ellenburg. Ralston and Sam Jones.
 The Holiness teachers were holding a meeting at the corner of Tenth street and Gurnee avenue, when a MT. Goza, living only a short distance away, re- auested them to move away from the corner, as he had a sick child in his house who was disturbed by the noise made by the drums, horns and tambor- ines they were using in their services. The Rev. MT. Jones went into the house to see if there was really a sick child. He came back and reported to the others that the child was not sick, but that it was only a work of the devil to stop the meeting. MT. Goza then went 10 the city authorities and swore out d warrant for the leaders for disorderly conduct. When the chief attempted to arrest the preach CTS they refused to be arrested and oth- CT police had to be called in before they would submit.
 Two well known gentlemen went to the 1d1l when they Dedru OI tne arrest Ol the preachers and offered to go their bond that they might not have to lie in iail Their offer was scoffed at by the men, who said that when Paul and Silas were put in jail they were not released by worldly means. and an impression was created that the men expected liberation in the same manner that Paul was liber- ated. Recorder McGhee gave the men a hearing in the afternoon and released them, saying they were technically guilty but read them a portion of scripture from the thirteenth chapter of Romans, in which the thought is brought out that all must obey the civil authorities. and gave them a long talk
 The Rev. Sam Jones was formerly pas tor of the St. Paurs M. E. church here but was dismissed by the church as he was thought to be of unsound mind. He attempted to fast forty days and had lasted about thirty days when the church began to investigate his actions. He created quite a sensation by sermon he delivered shortly afterward, in which he accused several of the leading church officials of the most heinous crimes. Dur ing his fasting period the man only ate a small bowl of oat flakes each morning. After being dismissed he wrote several articles which appeared in the papers here and in Birmingham. in which he roundly roasted the presiding elder of this district, as we'll as the members of the church.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-08-27
JONES RECEIVES
 ANOTHER PETITION
FURTHER EXECUTION OF SEN FENCE AGAINST COSBYS IS ASKED TO BE SUSPENDED-oNE OF MANY REQUESTS.

Montgomery, August 26.-(Special) )- Judge Thomas G. Jones of the United States court today received another pe- tition asking that the court suspend the further execution of sentences against George and Burancas Cosby The Cos bys pleaded guilty several weeks ago to peonage and were sentenced by Judge Jones to one year and one day in the At lanta federal prison.
 Many petitions have been presented to the judge. The petition presented reads
 We, the citizens of said state and county, being friends and neighbors of George and Burancas Cosby. who plead ed guilty to indictments charging them with a violation of said peonage statute at the present term of the United States district court for the Middle District of Alabama, and were sentenced to impris- onment in the United States peni- tentiary at Atlanta for one year and a day, do hereby declare and show to your honor that in our opinion the said Cosbys had no knowledge of said law at the time they violated it. and that peonage has been thoroughly broken up in this county.
 "The premises considered, we earnestly and confidently petition said court to sus- pend the further execution of the sen tences against the said Cosbys. that they may return to their homes and provide for their helpless wives and children"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-08-27
SELMA.
Selma Beats Rival Cities in Price of
 First Bale.

Selma, August 26.-(Special )-Sema dis Montgomery and Mobile. by the price re- ceived for the first bale of cotton. Mo- bile, Selma and Montgomery all received first bales yesterday. Selmas bale should have been received Saturday, but rain de- tered the picking until yesterday, and it did not reach here until about D. m. This morning it was auctioned off at the cotton exchange, and was sold to C.. A. McKinnon & Co.,, representing the F.. B. Fisk Cotton company of Montgomery, and the price paid was 1412c Mobiles s bale brought 121ac, Montgomery's 1872.
 The bale weighed 501 pounds and was raised on the plantation of the late Capt. J. r. O'Brien, who during the past ten years raised fully nine of the first bales received in Selma. The bale was con- signed to c. w. Hooper & Co.,, who hold the record also for receiving first bales.
 c. A. Reese, a machinist at the Union Iron works, was overcome by the heat this morning as he worked a. his lathe and fell to the floor. He struck his face against some castings on the floor and his mouth was badly cut.
 Dr. T. P. Whitby returned last night with the two girls who ran away from the Summerfield orphanage. They were found at the home of the older girl s mother. in Chambers county, and both were glad enough to come back to the orphanage.
 Frank Crenshaw, an escape from the calaboose since December IT last, was brought back to the city last night. The negro had sixty-ive days dre the city when he escaped, and the mayor assessed ninety more against him for leaving the prison without saying goodbye
 Last night George Ivy, a negro while walking along in the vicinity of the Peo- ple's oil mill in the suburbs of the city, heard groans and making an investiga- tions he found Talbott Thomas, well known negro in the throes of death. A deep stab over the region of the heart and a gash from ear to ear showed the handiwork of powerful antagonist. Thomas died shortly after being found never having uttered a word Suspicion fell upon Walter Smutherman, another negro with whose wife Thomas is said to have been intimate and about whom quarrels have taken place before The woman Is in jail and the police are look ing for Smutherman.
 This morning as Henry Stack, shipping clerk for the Peacock Iron works, at tempted to cross over the drawheads of two box cars, which were blocking the crossing, the engine attached to the train took up the slack in the cars and caught the young mans leg A small bone was broken and the flesh terribly lacerated. He had a very narrow escape from falling beneath the wheels.