Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-04-25
.W0MAN'S TEARS 0, <.
Mrs. J. Matrimonial Bliss
Tells Why.
CLEAR CLOUDS AWAY
AN oLD-FASHIoNED TRAIT OF
FEMININITY,
But There's Nothing Quite as Useful
in Rows, Domestic
or Otherwise.

Written for The Evening Star by Emily hoit-
'"Tears-of course believe in tears, don't
your" stoutly confessed Mrs John Matri-
monial Bliss as she popped darn1ng egg
into a sock of manly proportions. and drew
her own. conclusions from some grim lines
lurking about the corners of Mrs. Tommy
Topfiat's pretty mouth
mo, don't They are childish fndul-
gence and awfully undignified. and, besides,
men hate them" snapped Mrs. Topflat. in
q contradictory tone, which her hostess
pretended not to notice.
Yes, l know there is a cherished tradi-
ton to that effect went on that indefat-
igable little ta1ker. Nevertheless, tears
have their noble mission to fulfil in this
world and am sorry to see that they have
been allowed to go almost much out of
fashion as the hoopskirt The heroines in
the plays and novels no longer employ them
even in their intenSeSt moments. Just FANCY
the imperial new woman, or the college,
bred girl, all brains and no weaknesses,
giving way. Why they don't know how to
do it. They have lost the art; and all can
say is, that the sooner they revive this ven
cradle and blessed accomplishment, the bet
ter it will be for them.
Nowadays when anything happens to
these superior creatures-when, on the
stage. the husband is proven to be secretly
following the trade Of a burglar or book
maker; or, in the novel, the hero1nes best
young man elopes with the girl with the
barytone hair; or, worse yet, in real lire
the new hat fails to keep it's appointment
for Easter Sunday-does the strong woman
bow her head and weep? Not a bit of It.
She merely turns deadly pale clenches her
hands, speaks in a cold, calm, commanding
tone, stiles few hard and perfectly dry
sobs, which are relics of her sweet soft
hearted grandmother trying va1nly to come
to the surface. and otherwise preserves her
fortitude intact, and proves that she Is a
Spartan in a pOmpadOur.
"Of course this behavior is magnificent.
She also has the lofty and dry-eyed com
posture you supposed to maintain when
some foolish little marital difficulty arises
over the mislaying Of your husbands slip
pers, the lateness of the breakfast or the
temperature of the soup. Magnihcent-put,
as the French general said about the
charge Of the Light Brigade, 1t isn't war
This fearless state of feminine society Ism
natural nor, in the long rum give you
my word-so truly effective as the old, old
way.
ITO be perfectly frank, Mrs. Topfat 1
don't mind confessing that I've experiment
ed with both methods myself, and speak
from the fulness of ripe matrimonial expe-
rience when say that the tear In time-the
judicious sincere. yet freely sprinkled tear
keeps married life deal sweeter than the
sulks. And the sulks are simply bound to
come when a woman can't or won't cry.
The medical profession Is willing to STANG y.
tears, and I believe they keep womans
eyes bright, her heart tender, her nature
forgivable. her laughter sweet, spontane-
hairs from premature appearance.
1.-The arid and unreliable nature Is
bound to be moody, representative and on a
nervous tension. Doesn't everybody know
that the fearless grief is the most danger
Gus in the world and that there is every
reason to believe that dry anger, or Jeal-
ousy, or envy are quite as serious?
'If / were man and felt myself falling
in love with a girl who wasn't easily moved,
I would avoid her as l would spring
without thunder showers or an egg without
salt.
No Tears, Of Course.
1T reckon, though" continued Mrs. Bliss,
relapsing into her native southern drawl
and accent, that every bride takes the
same silly, solemn, private resolution that l
registered when I married my Yankee John.
If ever our domestic machinery ran trifie
hard, or If the patent, up-to-date, philo-
sophical. self-restraint temper breaks re-
fused to work-a condition / hardly con-
templated as possible-there were not go
ing to be any scenes or tears on my part.
Those feeble subterfugeS of my uneducated
foremothers were to be replaced by quiet,
dispassionate talking it over with John,
by intellectual debate and a spirit of Chris
tan forgiveness.
"It was a noble and very common resolve
Every DTiQc makes II ana breaks All
through the honeymoon it worked like
charm, and l was so proud of myself, until
something suddenly happened.
"As nearly as l can now remember it all
took place one morning when John got over
wrought about an eccentric collar button
that finally skipped under the chiffonier,
where he pursued it with a stick and lam
guage, got a mouthful of lint in conse-
quence, and rose from his knees red indig-
nant and casting unworthy insinuations at
my good name as a neat hOuSekeeper.
Thereupon my righteous wrath foamed up
and l blush to say that we both flung
winged words about in a very childish fash
Ion.
Discussed the Stars.
at wasn't nice, but it was thoroughly
human, and with stiff upper lip and a
hard eye 1 went in to breakfast. At din
ner the atmosphere was just as highly
charged. but we learnedly discussed the
new star in the constellation of Cassiopea,
recently discovered by Prof. Peek-a-boo, as
long the suspicious maid was present,
The rest of the time a sitting silence reign
ed Even now l SILVER at the bare recoI-
lection of that dreadful forty-eight hours
when we were only officially on speaking
terms and when John poor dear who
can't cry himself-was waiting and longing
for me to melt and give him chance at
peacemaking.
During those black, blank hours I chung
to my pet theory of cold-blooded settlement
| by the new fearless method of arbitration
| Indeed, we might still be living in the
| hldeous hollow crust of appearances. If.
| just as was putting the cream on a help
| ing of wine jelly and preparing to pass it.
| with frozen stare, to the sour-faced man
at the other side of the table, I hadn't
choked and pelting shower of tears hadn't
overtaken me. They ran right down into
the wine jelly before John, frightened and
surprised out Of his wits, could rush to the
rescue with big, soft. lavender scented
| mans handkerchief, a broad shoulder. alb
ject concessions, apologies, and such vieor-
Gus pats on the back that you might sup
pose had been trying to swallow wish
bone.
Swallowed Her Pride.
at was my stupid pride was swallow
ing instead. When emerged with a large