The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1903-01-17
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journal.
Gyer-Bald heads remind me of kind
words. Myer-What's the answer2
Gyer--They can never Chicago !.
Daily News.
He (cautlously)-What would you
say If should ask you to be my wife2
She (more cautiously don't you
ask me and find out.-Chicago News.
The Visitor-How is your baby?
Trained Nurse-First rate! He is get
ting SO now can occasionally leave
him with his mother!-Harper's Ba-
Ear. .-s.-.s-
Your husband appears to be such.
a thoughtful man" "Oh, he is! He
never forgets to caution me about
keeping down the household expenses
Detroit Free Press. -...s
= Your uncle Is very religious man,
l understand" "Oh. yes, indeed! He
positively hates everybody who be-
longs to any other church than his
own" Boston Transcript. ,.. 49,.
Their Cooks: "Muggins-My cook
left because we refused to treat her
as one Of the family. Buggins- Humph!
| My cook expects to be treated as COM
lpany.-Philadelphi Record. .....--.. =.
Naturally: Rita-Why is Mr.. Kodak
SO glum looking? Nita-He and Flea
nor have just come out Of the dark
room, where he had evidently devel-
oped Observation-Disclosures Tiger.
Casey-Well, We can't prevint what's
past an gone. Cassidy-Shure, ye
could av We only acted quick enough
Casey-How could We? Cassidy
Shtop it before it happens.-Ttt-Bits
Bunkoed Again: 81 don't think much
Of this museum" said Jinks; why.
they amt got no skull Of Napoleon
Bonaparte, and the one l was in, up
to New York, has two."-Baltimore
American.
Home Is Best: She-You didn't stay
long in London. He-No, I couldn't
stand it. Over there, everybody knew
me for an American right away. Here.
in New York, no one ever suspects it.
december Smart Set. .[---. g.
"You say your pastor Is introducing
novelties into the pulpit?" "Alas, yes!
He has left the well-beaten paths Of
politics, society, finance and vice, and is
Introducing discourses on the Bible and
the New Testament. Puck.
us her social position an assured
one" II should say SO! Why, it's
bounded on the north by two genera
tons Of scandals: on the east by New
port; on the south by ten millions; and
on the west by South Dakota. "-Ex.
The Friendly Shadows of Night: Old
Crusteigh-How did you dare, sir, to
kiss my daughter last night on the
dark piazza? Young Gayboy-Gad, now
that I've seen her by daylight l Won
der myself. Smart Set.
The professor laid his overcoat close
~ about him as he walked down the
long, narrow passageway between the
two rows of split hogs hanging up in
the great packing house. 1.-THE aisles
of grease!" he Chicago
Tribune.
"They had one of the strangest mar
riages recorded for a long time" I'm
what respectT' I'm every respect.
Why, both parents on both sides were
present, there was nothing sudden or
secret about it and their own clergy
; man performed the ceremony."-Judge'
81 suppose you're trying to think up
! lie to tell your wife when you gel
home" said the first clubman. mo
J indeed" replied the other. "I'm going
] to tell her the truth" 'Surely you're
J notT' II certainly am, because she's
sure not to believe e."-Philadelphia
Press.
Grizzly Pete reading)-rt says herr
a chap just shot the rapids of Niagars
in q barrel. Bunco Bill-Huh! Prob
erly crouched down low an shot out O
the bunghole; but them Rapids Of
: Niagara must be powerful slow fam
lily to let chap plug 'em like that
Judge.
But what will you do when all tht
I vernliform appendices shall have beer
removed?" The great surgeon smiled
II was reading only to-day" he said
that the stomach may be taken out
without killing the patient" "HoV
funny you are!' exclaimed the great
! surgeon. and laughed eutright.-1lfe.
Missed a Sale: 81 am selling a new
y cyclopaedia," began the well-dresse'
,. man who had been ushered into the re
: ception room on the strength of hi
makeup; would you care to look a
! it?" "'Tain't no use," replied Mrs
Neurich; I'D break my neck if l eve
q attempted to ride one of them foo
. things. "-Chicago Daily News.
q The Day After Thanksgiving: "Wha
? are the probabilities for tomorrow
q asked the star boarder of the dru;
!, clerk, who was looking over the paper
4 The drug clerk turned to the weather
page, and, seemingly unconscious tina
the landlady was behind him, read
For tomorrow and Saturday. hash
: followed by turkey soup and Gro