The Savannah morning news., 1903-11-22

They had been married for ten
months, and during that time there
had been no word of dispute. If there
had been petulance on her part now
and then, or Impotence on his, the
clouds had drifted away before a
storm could gather. Within their lit
tie home dwelt love and peace and
contentment, and they looked forward
to Thanksgiving with peculiar interest.
Because it will be our first Thanks
ing turkey" he said with a smile.
Because I am to cook it," she said,
with pride in her tones.
And are you sure-sure-?"
THAT 1 know how to stuff and bake
IA turkey? George. can you doubt
me?"
And 1 am sure that know how to
select the finest bird in the market. l
to select-you to stuff and bake. 1t is
a day and a dinner to look forward
to-
The day came when the turkey was
bought and sent home. There was an
enchanting plumpness about it, and
that same enchanting plumpness
brought about a doubt in the hus-
bands mind
IF you are not sure that you know
how to cook a turkey" he began.
But / do, sir. If the turkey has
been selected by a person who knows
a fat and tender bird from a tough
old patriarch"
Their first quarrel was on the tapis,
but both restrained themselves and
happily averted it. The turkey was
put aside on the ice until it should go
into the oven next day, and the cherub
of love continued to nestle.
He nestled while the young wife
prepared the stuffing and filed the
vacuum and put in the basting
stitches, as she had seen her mother
do on several occasions, and as she
had no doubt she could do just as
well, or better. He was nesting still
and there was a smile of affection and
pride on the husbands face as with
his own hands the bird was finally
transferred from the oven.
1T is the finest one 1 ever saw"
said the wife, as she touched up the
table here and there before sitting
down.
And only the incest little woman in
the world could have prepared it
thus" was the reply, accompanied
with kiss.
A Thanksgiving turkey must be
carved before it is eaten. This fact
suddenly stared husband and wife in
the face, and for moment each look
ed anxious and perturbed. Then their
faces cleared simultaneously.
George" she said, as she brought
the carving utensils from the pantry,
with a blush at her forgetfulness,
you have never carved a turkey in
your life, and"
What! have never carved a Cur
key!" he interrupted. Il beg to cor
rect you. You could never have pos
sibly carved anything beyond a quail,
and | will now give you your first les
son."
1T would be such a pity to haggle
it,"
who's going to haggle? You talk
as if had never seen turkey. You
wouldn't know how or where to begin,
if you started in"
Il don't like to have you speak to
me in that tone. l have proved to you
that 1 know how to bake a turkey, and
l will now prove that 1 know how to
carve one as well. Let me have the
knife and fork
mot to-day, my dear. 1 hunted all
over town to find this bird, and there
ner has been ruined and many a life
embittered by the attempt of some
idiot to handle carving knife and
fork. / know what 1 am at, and you
will oblige me by offering no sugges-
tons"
At this point the cherub of love dis
covered that he had business else
where, and the little devil of acrimony
came sailing in to take the vacant
place. The husband, by the divine
right OF muscular power, retained pos
session of the carving utensils and
proceeded upon scientific principles.
That is, he surveyed the bird from
all sides, and wondered whether his
two stumpy legs ought to be pulled
out by the roots as a first movement
He might have attempted it but for
the wife, who seemed to divine his
thoughts and said:
why don't you take him by the
leg and begin to carve? You don't
propose to stab him in the back, do
you?"
when I get ready to carve, 1 shall
carve" he answered, with great
frigidity. There is where most people
make their great mistake in carving.
They go at a bird as If they We're
stabbing and slashing at dead
porker. I shall get to work presently,
but there is no occasion for haste
After five minutes more of "scien-
tific principles" he seized a leg and
began a surgical operation on the
patients thighbone.
Now, what on earth are you try
ing to do?" demanded the wife, as
she instinctively reached for the knife.