Evening star., 1903-09-19
er.l orside plays, as II were. tina. s.vs tn.

erai ofYside plays as II were. that snvS the
performance variety this year.
An athletic member OF the consolidated
exehange, for example. appeared on the
floor with his straw hat firmly strapped
onto his head by means Of a stout chin
strap. He remarked that he intended to
wear straw hat as long as he wanted to.
Irrespective ii.s Of the arbitrary date estab-
iished Tor the passing Of the straw head
gear. and he added that the man who tried
TO deprive him of his straw hat would have
10 hSht and that he d have to know how to
tlsnt, IN spite OF this warning, q number
OF his floor mates essayed to snatch his
straw hat from his head. but after he had
banged the heads of a few of them together
they desisted. This man was still wearing
his straw hat at the close of business on
Wednesday morning he appeared with a
ueroy. remarking that his only aim had
Deen to test principle and win a bet.
On the Hoor of the produce exchange
consloeraoly more diverting scene was en-
acted One of the members innocently
stroiied onto the exchange floor wearing a
very hish-crowned and seemingly new
straw hat He hadn't made half Of his way
toward the pit before a playful fellow
member tilted the high crowned hat of of
the innocent-looking members head. Then
something happened. and there was the
go on the floor Of that exchange, where
rushes 10 cover are regular part Of the
speculative game. The top OF the high
SAV"hSu hdt WAS fuii OF exceedingly busy
bees. and when. In falling. the top rim of
the hat flew open the bees permeated that
huge pit in something less than Ave Sec
onds 1t took several hours to shco them
OUT, ana the man who knocked the hat Off
of the other mans head was so stuns up
that he had to knock OF for the day. The
town was wearied of thu cup-up-istness OF
the Juvenile members of the stock ex-
changes, Just as 1t has tired Of big Bflr'
Devery. and the older members of the ex-
changes are now talking seriously Of intro
ducing measures to discipline the perpetra-
tors of alleged practical and pointiess jokes
that involve the physical discomfort of all
hands on the floors.
A Matrimonial Wall.
Mrs. Mazie O'Flaherty of Delaney street
seems to be very inconsderate and tact
less person. She had her husband Jim
OFlaherty. a decent, sober truck driver,
arrested the other day for non support
Jim. 1t appears. packed up his clothes last
month and went to boarding by himself.
He looked tidy and clean in his fresh blue
dungarees when he was hailed before the
magistrate, and very proper and husky
chunk of q man did Jim appear
jim, said the magistrate to the pris-
oner. what ails you. anyhow? Why don't
you take care of your wife?"
Because. y'r honor" replied Jim. earn
estly. she's slob. I can't stand rr de
way she runs me plant. 1 gives her a good
joint t live in. an she makes it look like a
glnneys cage or chink laundry. She
don't Keep de house clean. She trows me
grub at me. an won't set de table In de
dinin' room. but in de kitchen, t save dish
washin'. An Wen L come home from me
woik. she allus looks like a slob, Wit a
greasy Of wrapper on, an rundown slip
pers an no stockin s, an her hemp a-nyin
all over her map. / tor her rousan'
times smoke up an git nex'-dat 1
couldn't stan fr no sloppy-weather wife
an l tot her dat was willin' stake her
Of fpnr h,rt
right along lookin' like a gum. 1t made
me lamps ache t look her over wen l
slammed home o evenin's, an me friends
wot dropped in gives me de hoot over de
way me wife frames up wen dey call. I'm
Wlllin, all right, [ go back an take care
o her-l always did. an amt no lush
but youse's Is got t tell her t. smoke up
I'd rather go to de islam dan start over
ag IN VIII her If she's a-gOin' t keep on
ben' a gum
Mrs. O'Flaherty strenuously denied that
she had been either gum or a ''slob,'
but her appearance was against her-she
looked untidy even in court, and there ap-
peared TO be no excuse for IT, seeing that
Mrs. OF'laherty is naturally a good-look-
ing and buxom woman. The magistrate ad-
monished her. therefore to smoke up"
and the O'Flahertys left the court room to-
gether.
That an instructive discourse of
. OFlahertys. s." remarked the magistrate to
the court clerk There are a lot of wo-
men in New York Of a station a great deal
higher than that of Mrs. OFlaherty who
wouldn't be damaged any If they'd Smoke
up in the way that Jim meant"
Gone Into Retreat"
This is the season OF retreats" All of
the converts and seminaries of the Catholic
and Episcopal sisters in New York and
adjoining states are full up with young
women Of society who following a fad that
is development of recent years and prom
ises to grow into custom. choose this
mid-sea son of the year to make their an
nCal retreats, after the manner of the re-
hgleGse, thus recuperating their physical
and renewing their spiritual strength. Sew
eral OF the up-the-HudSon Catholic inStitu-
tons presided over by sisters derive quite
considerable incomes nowadays from these
annual retreats made by temporarily world
weary, wealthy women. married and Sun-
married, of society, and the Episcopal sis
terhoods are beginning to receive Their
quota of the annual retreat makers.
The young women who go In for this sort
of thing follow the daily routine of tie
sisters in regimen and all other matters,
receive no visits, give up their correspond
ence and devote themselves solely to simple
duties and contemplation and introspection
which assuredly ought to be good for
them.
The chappies haven't gone in for retreats
yet, although 1t was rumored recently that
one of the most famous of them had de-
cided to renOunce the world and become
a TrappSt monk
.'-rrappist monk, eh?' irreverently com
mented one of the grzzled old boys of New
York society when he heard the rumor.
"Well he wouldn't make such bad one
He's been a Newport monk-a- a-da-monk for
a long time nowY c. l.. c.