davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
EVANGELIST SAM JONES.
On the Price OF Men and the Price or
Hogs IN Iowa.

Sam Jones recently lectured in
Sigourney, Iowa, and Justly "roast-
ed" those who signed saloon petit
tons. This report is from Sigour-
ney paper:
"This nice little Iowa town, with
farming region around it, makes
one of the garden spots of the world;
but with all your, blessings you
can't get along without three saloons
to debauch your village and ruin
your boys, because you need the
money"
Here Mr.. Jones inquired of the
surprised audience, "How much is
the license here1" Some one ans
wered, "Three hundred dollars each
to the town." "Nine hundred dol
lars altogether" resumed Jones.
"What is your population Ans
wer, 1.-TWO thousand" The speaker
then did little lightning calcula-
ton and then resumed:
"The liquor dealer walked up 10
you and said, elf you will let us
damn this town We will give you
forty cents spiece." essay, what
would two hundred pound hog
bring1"
answer, Twelve. dollars"
49," resumed Jones, hogs twelve
dollars apiece and folks forty cents
a head. Say, brother don't you
wish you were hog1 You and your
whole family would not bring
enough in this town to buy suck
ling pig. This is little lower
down than have ever found them.
For the pitiful sum of forty cents
apiece you turn over your boys to
be debauched, the hearts of mo-
theirs to be crushed, and the town
ruined-all for forty cents. That is
cheap, but l expect that is all you
are worth"
81 want to drop this out. There
is not a man of you that signed that
petition to bring saloons to this
town or county but deserves that
every boy you have in your home
shall fill a drunkard's grave and
your daughters live in the embraces
of drunken husbands. What did
you sign it for, you lousy devils?
If you want your boys to drink, or
your daughter to marry drunkard,
you damnable scoundrels, what did
you do it for? Stand up on your
hind feet and talk back. You sure
ly did not sign, hoping your boy
would not drink, but that your
neighbours would. Why don't you
say, TO tell you the God Almighty
truth, did II for forty cents II
the devil don't get you for it, it is
just because he don't want you, and
every man that will sign that petit
tion-the devil will get the last man
of you-but thank God he wont get
much. II you fellows that signed
that petition don't feel like hog,
you don't feel natural, that's all"
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
CURE FOR SMALLPOX

IL am willing to risk my rcputa-
ton as public man., writes Ed
ward Hines 10 the Liverpool Mer-
curry, 'if The worst case of small
pox cannot be cured in three DAYS
by the use of cream Of tartar.
One ounce Of cream Of tartar
Dissolved IN pint OF hot water, and
drunk at intervals VIXEN cold, is a
certain never failing remedy. II
has cured thousands, never leaves a
mark, never causes blindness and
avoids lingering illness.
The New York Sun gives the follow
ing smallpox preventive;
Lettuce is an absolute proven
tive OF smallpox. No one is in the
least particle danger of catching
smallpox who eats little every day.
Smallpox belongs to The scorbu-
tic class of diseases. Sailors at sea
deprived of fresh vegetables get
scurvy. Scurvy is typical scorbutic
disease. Smallpox is another.
Smallpox always RACES during the
winter season, when the poor peo-
pie are deprived of fresh vegetable
foods. Celery and onions are good
for this purpose, but there is such
long interval between their being
gathered and being eaten that they
lose most of their anti scorbu,ic
properties. Lettuce is served
shortly after it is picked, and,
hence, contains the valuable pro-
perties that will prevent smallpox.
We say without the least hesitation
or reserve that lettuce will prevent
smallpox. 1t is thousand times
better than vaccination. 1t has no
Liabilities, like vaccination, TO pro-
duce other diseases. We are will
ing TO stake our professional repu-
tation on the broad statement that
any one who eats lettuce daily will
not catch smallpox, whether he is
vaccinated or not.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
In repIr o InauIrIes v. h.vs

In reply to inquiries we have pleasure
n announcing that Ely's Liquid Cream
Balm Is like the solid preparation of that
admirable remedy in that it eleanses and
heals membranes affected by nasal caiarrh.
There is no drying or sneezing. The Liquid
Cream Balm is adapted to use by patients
who have trouble in inhaIing through the
nose and prefer spraying. The price. in
Guiding spraying tube, is - cents. Sold by
druggists or mailed by Ely Brothers, 50
Warren street, New York.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

The editor of the Grass Valley
Banner has gone to his reward.
That is, be allowed a buffer to pull
his nose a month ago without re-
sistance, and the other day his Of
flee was raided and he was driven
into the bush as a natural result.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Some Interesting Items From the
Leading Paper of the Great
South Vest.
Col. Jim Hellso the Versatile Editor
Writes Entertainingly about the
Strenuous Life In His Section.

Old fashioned molasscs candy
pulls and progressive checkers are
going to be all the rage among our
local Four Hundred this winter, and
highballs and rabbit sandwiches will
be the only refreshments handed
out.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

We understand that some OF the
boys around town think We put on
too many airs as mayor. and that
they feel hurt because we don't get
down to their level. We have got
certain dignity to maintain and
are bound to maintain it, but when
we have refused to stand up to a
bar with any of our constituents 1t
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

As president of the common
council we keep a gun on our desk
during each session. but il is more
for ornament than use. Since Alder
man Finnegan resigned there has.
been no disturbance we could not
quiet with a yell.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

The agricultural department, which
has been one of the features of the
Kicker for the last year, has been
indefinitely suspended. We have
tried our level best to run a depart
ment on burdocks, wild plums and
rattlesnakes, but it has proved too
agricultural for us
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
is no more whisky left old Jim may
die, but not until.

The expense of making the post
office in this town bullet-proof has
all been borne by US, and not by
the Government. Uncle Sam sim
ply puts us in charge and expects US
TO take care Of ourself. The cost
was sos, but we don't begrudge it.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

1t is our regular day for lying
about the circulation of The Kick
er, and we therefore proceed to an
nouce that the figures have reached
1880, 900 and are humping alon g
like jackass rabbit pursued by a
pack of wolves, If this thing keeps
mp for another year we shall have
to buy another hand-press and hire
another boy.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
MEMS SHOES.

Mems Shoes, $50 quality for dress
or Tor working, only ............ 0s
Mems Mohawk Brand Dress Shoes.
All late style toes, Box Calf. Vici
Patent Cali has an the style and
wear Of many other higher priced
shoes, worth s. 50, only ........g 2.5l
il you are particular and want shoe
right up 10 The minute in every par
ocular. ask 90 see q pair 4 Mems
King Qaaluy Shoes
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
PAINTS

If you are thinking Of painting we
have got every thing you want or
need.
Pure Linsecd Oil. Pure White
Lead, Turpentine, Dryer, Colors
ground in Oil, Ready Mixed
Paints, Varnishes, Hard Oh
Finish, Floor Finish, Paint
Brushes, Varnish Brushes and
White Wash Brushes, Venetian
Rcd, and yellow Ochre.
All at very low prices, less than
you usually pay.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
IEWELRY.

New stock, reasonable prices for reliable
goods. al The latest things in Sleeve
buttons Collar Buttons, Scarf Pins,
Baby Pins, 5tud Sets. Dress Sets. Belt
Pins, Chaiclaine Pins, Emblem Pins.
EmbicmBuiiOns, Crosses, Silver Novelties,
Silver Toilet Sets, Silver Thimblcs,
Match Safes. Stamp Boxes, Hearts,
Ncthemol Bracelets. Guard Chains, SILK
Chains. Vest Chains, Hat Pins. fockcis.
Charms. lId Gold Rings Set Rings.
Fountain Pens, psahlba1dicd Pen
holders and Watches
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

There are not as many "colonels"
in town as there were last week.
Ten of them got notice from the
vigilance committee the other day
to leave for other fields, and they
prudently needed the caution.
Col. Defoe is left, but he is not
worth hanging.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

1t is possible that we may resume
publication of weather reports later
on, but we don't care to tackle
them in midwinter, when there are
from 7 to ID different sorts of
weather every "a hours. We are
fairly good on thunder storms but
not worth cent on Billiards.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

When Green Seal Paint is Used
The house stays painted, and the bothers
Of painting time are few and far between.
For sale by +. J. Bowermaster. King
wood Gibson Bros. Tunnelton: !. y.
Ringer Terra Alta
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
.CEl OF OaN

Timbers of oak keep the old
lomestead standing through
re years. 1t pays to use the
ght stuff.
Men of oak" are men in
Ggged health, men whose
odies are made of the sound
{ materials.
Childhood is the time to Law
ne foundation for a sturdy con
tuition that will last for years.
SCOTS Emulsion is the right
-tuf.
SCOTS Emulsion stimulates
tie growing powers of children,
Fps them build a firm
foundation for a sturdy consti-
ation.
Send for free sample.
SCOTT & BOVINE. Chemists.
io9-4i5 Pearl Street. New York,
SOC. and Sf.OO, ali drugodats
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
WEST BOUND.

NO. n Is the regular accommodation going
west and stops at all stations eVe
Frains marked s, stop regularly and trsfnS
stop. '"s' Trains u' NOT
rains marked ] stop to receive and dis
charge passengers, but handl les no baenage az
express. ~ "aF""Eo or
y; Is MARTIN, Manager Passenger TrafDc
" W. bAssETr, General Passenger Agent
baltimore. Md,
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
FERTILIZER.

Baughs Phosphate. The farmers
Tell US that this Phosphate will
make grain grow on The pike.
Acia Phosphate for 1uckwhcat,
1Y' 'ns 20 ihc sack .......t......TI .BJ
Alkaline Phosphate for oae, roo
JOS. f3 The sack 81 40
Crop.Cowcr Tho best for al crops.
200 ias. 90 Inc sack o.. ...... .a, Is
Doodle taglc phosph no other
So Good for corn, goa nd potatoes
goo pounds To- the sack ....S2. 40
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

A Chicago paper announces that
we hold IS different offices and are
looking for more. The item is in
correct. We hold six Offices and
are looking for seven more to make
up the IS. We shall be satisfied
with that number for year or two.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

A man named Saunders from
Illinois is going to start weekly
paper called "The Eagle" at Lone
Jsc... II Mr.. Saunders can shoot
two-handed and has teeth like
grizzly bear he may succeed, but if
not his eagle" will lose its tail
feathers within a month.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

Mr.. Thomas Jackson, who posed
as Terror from Terrorsville, left
town suddenly last Tuesday night
and will probably not return. II
this meets his eye he will be delight
ed to know that he was Just IS min
utss ahead of the vigilance com.
mittee.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

We understand that complaint
against us signed by so different
citizens was forwarded to the post
master general last week. The pa
per recited the fact that we played
poker, and petitioned for our re-
moval as postmaster. 1t was time
thrown away and postage wasted.
we do not deny the allegation, but
we happen to have a p. G.. who
knows an ace-full from three lacks
himself. and it's horses to rabbits
that he will raise our salary instead
OF giving us the bounce.
The position of city marshal is
vacant again through the resigna-
ton of Jim Adams, Jim decided
after being wounded five times that
there was too much shooting for
the salary of Sra per week. Appli-
cants for the place will file their
name at the mayors office. No
cross eyed men taken, and all appli-
cants will be required to pull a gun
and open fire inside of four sec
onds.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

We do not credit the report
floating around that old Jim Hew-
son has been devoured by a grizzly
bear in the foothills. He has been
missing for two weeks, but he is
probably under 20 feet of snow in
some canyon and will turn up all
right in the spring. When there
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

1t took just four minutes to give
County Coroner James first class
licking for calling us liar, and we
think the public will find him
changed and humble official
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
CHINA WARE

Complete line Of China Ware nice
patterns reasonable prices, Tea
Sets, Dinner Sets, Toilet Sets.
Glass Ware, New Stock. Very
Pretty Imitation cut glass.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

The report that we are wearing
four-in-hand necktie and two
watch chains across our vest
brought old Jim Williams down
from the mountains to have a pop
at us. He found the rumor to be
false and didn't shoot.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
WINTER GOODS

Ovcrcoats, one third off.
Ladies Underwear, one third of.
Mems Underwear, onc.third off.
Felt Boots, one third off.
Pay you to buy now for next
Winter. Winter Goods of every
description sold at less than cost.
This includes Blankets, Flannels,
Yarn etc,
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

We do not like to criticise any
action of our esteemed contempor-
airy, feeling rather to pity than con-
denim him, but we wish he would
be consistent. He is bowling lust
now for war with China, and the
reason thereof is because the local
Chinese laundries refuse to wash his
shirts and trust him for the pay,
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
wOMEN's SHOES.

Womeu's heavy Kangaroo Calf Shoes,
not all sold yet, jus. the thing for
rough, sloppy spring days about
the farm, worth sf.so, only ...... 9Se
Good, reliable Dress Shoes, worth
SIS only. ...................Sf.2 30
Our Krcider Shoe, The best medium
price shoe on the market, good
style and good wear, worth $500,
only ..... ................ 1926
The World over Qaecn Olal,y is
RECOGNIZED az TIE leading Amcn-
can Shoe for womon--aiways fash
ionable Ask % see them
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

LADIES' WkAPPERS.
We have complete assortment Of
sizes and colors, worth Stzs. only gse
Nicer finished ones, worth 81 90
only ...........................s1.gO
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
TRUNKS

II you are thinking Of taking
trip, be sure to price our Trunks,
Telescopes, Satchcls and Suit
Cases before you buy.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
The West Virginia Northern Time
Schedule.
IN EFFECT NOV 90 1907.

No. connects with b. & o. No. ata.ao
p. m. for the East
a. m. for the West.
NO. connects with b. & o. No. 4.
no. connects with B.& o. No 46
II. HAHsT. Philadelphia, Pa,
A. NJ LANE
kingwood. Gen. Manager.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

Major Callahan Jones, who boasts
of participating in four wars, six
duels, FIVE Indian skirmishes and
a dozen saloon rows, is lying in the
town hospital with a broken leg.
An old cross eyed mule kicked him.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
Ladies' UNDERsKIRTs.

Every woman Of fashion wears the
Sorosis Undcnkift, or ought. The
he best are only g. -, some Of
them, only .....................gS e
Ask 90 see them.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

We understand that Col. 2ansom's
cowboys hung stranger one day
last week for horse stealing, and two
hours after he was dead they dis
covered that he was an innocent
man. Such mistakes are inseparable
from a strenuous life, and should
not be made too much of.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

1t may save certain people more
or less trouble and ammunition to
be told that our bedroom in the
postoffice is bullet broof. A hum
dred shots may be fired through the
windows fronting the street, but not
one will reach us. Wait until day
light and then have a fair pop at us.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

When the Lone Jack Recorder
says that we hold twelve public
offices, it tells falsehood, as the
number is only six. When it says
that we banker for more, it tells
the truth.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
DOMESTIC DRY GOODS

Yard wide brown Muslin,
weighs 4 yds. to the ID,
worth &c, only ....... &c
We sell thousands Of yards
Of this muslin alone.
Calicoes, Standard brands worth
&c, only ......... Sc
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
HOrgantOWn & KlnsWOOd Railroad.

Time Table No. q,
IN EFFECT $3.50 A. NJ. DEC. L. Ieo7.
All Trains Daily Except Sunday
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

T. Stop only on signal. or notice to Con
ductor.
f K. BRETz. General Manager.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

Mr. Williams, the hustling pro-
prietor of the Green Front Drug
Store, has had the misfortune TO
kill another Chinaman by giving
him arsenic in place of salts. This
is the third case within a year, we
believe, and the druggist has the
sympathy of the public. We all
understand that no man can hustle
in this country without leaving a
dead man here and there on the
trail.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
wilI be tlme ior them to complain.

We do not anticipate a spring
boom for real estate Ia Giyadam
Gulch, nor shall we attempt to force
one. The town is growing at the
rate of one saloon per week, with
fair prices for corner lots, and a
boom would only unset,.e the mar
ket. Slow and sure is a good mot
to, except when you have need to
draw a gun.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

The editor of The Kicker travels
occasionally and all reports floating
around to the effect that he blows
out the gas ia his room at hotels,
or is ever ready to buy gold bricks
at a bargain, are simply canards
emanating from jealous minded con.
temporaries.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23

sis'auce, anu the Olner DAY MS OF
flee was raided and he was driven
into the bush as a natural result.
The agricultural department, which
has been one Of the features of the
Kicker for the last year, has been
indefinitely suspended. We have
tried our level best to run depart
ment on burdocks, wild plums and
rattlesnakes, but it has proved too
agricultural for us
There are not as many "colonels"
in town as there were last week.
Ten of them got notice from the
vigilance committee the other day
to leave for other fields, and they
prudently needed the caution.
Col. Defoe is left, but he is not
worth hanging.
1t may save certain people more
or less trouble and ammunition to
be told that our bedroom in the
postoffice is bullet broof. A hum
dred shots may be fired through the
windows fronting the street, but not
one will reach us. Wait until day
light and then have a fair pop at us.
When the Lone Jack Recorder
says that we hold twelve public
Offices, it tells falsehood, as the
number is only six. When it says
that we banker for more, it tells
the truth.
Major Callahan Jones, who boasts
of participating in four wars, six
duels, FIVE Indian skirmishes and
dozen saloon rows, is lying in the
town hospital with a broken leg.
An old cross eyed mule kicked him.
1t took just four minutes to give
County Coroner James a first class
licking for calling us liar, and we
think the public Will find him
changed and humble official
A Chicago paper announces that
we hold IS different offices and are
looking for more. The item is in
correct. We hold six Offices and
are looking for seven more to make
up the IS. We shall be satisfied
with that number for year or two.
A man named Saunders from
Illinois is going to start weekly
paper called "The Eagle" at Lone
Jsc... If Mr.. Saunders can shoot
two-handed and has teeth like
grizzly bear he may succeed, but if
not his eagle" will lose its tail
feathers within month.
The report that we are wearing
a four-in-hand necktie and two
watch chains across our vest
brought old Jim Williams down
from the mountains to have a pop
at us. He found the rumor to be
false and didn't shoot.
We do not credit the report
floating around that old Jim Hew-
son has been devoured by grizzly
bear in the foothills. He has been
missing for two weeks, but he is
probably under 40 feet of snow in
some canyon and will turn up all
right in the spring. When there
fSHIU\Z.zEIT.AUI
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1903-06-13
80 YnIe-Hnrrnrd Rnoea.

The Yale-Harvard races for eight
Dared shells should goto Yale this year
on form comparison. Yale has several
members OF last years victorious crew
In her shell and they have been doing
splendid work. They have developed 9
strong. clean stroke and the shell goea
through the water with little apparent
checking on the recovery. Checking Il
one OF the banes OF a rowing coach's
existence and IN overcoming this fault
TO a great extent Yale has scored
point over the Harvard eight which nt
present cannot be said to be going es
smoothly as # should. But time VIII
tell. John Harvard's lads are lacking
in neither spirit nor Drawn ana they
realize full well that they must put up
a game fight to keep the sons Of Ell
from repeating the victories of the
last few years. Harvard has not won
from Yale since 1899.
The Harvard Yale races were trans
ferred from Springfield, Mass, TO New
London In 1873 and have been held on
the Connecticut course ever since. The
New London route is four miles long
and the Thames at this point forms
an ideal racing stretch, being widS
straight and sheltered somewhat from
the wind. thus as a rule insuring calm
water. Since 1876 the Harvard-Yala
races have resulted as follows:
The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1903-06-13

rival of Ed Hanian is seldom at loss
for an able crew when the starting
time arrives and II is barely possible
that he is resorting to the time hon
ored custom OF playing postum.
There never was coach yet who
would admit before big race that his
crew had any chance at all to win, but
when the contest ends and the coach
sees his pet eight forge across the line
two or three lengths ahead OF the near.
est shell he viii calmly put his hands
in his pockets. wink the other eye and
say 7 told you So" For that is the
way of the world. and why not OF
Courtney or any other rowing coach
who draws a salary for saying nothing
until the race is over?
Courtney speaks as follows: i can
not understand where the trouble lies.
There are six OF last years crew in the
boat. they are all in good physical con-
dition and are rowing in good FORM
But they can't make the boat move as
II should. In a scrap with the second
crew few days ago they were dis
tanced. The beat dragged along as
though It were hitched 10 fence"