The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-04-18

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Prof w L. Eurdick. of the law de-
partment Of the state university at
Lawrence. is the best after dinner
story teller in Kansas Prof. BurdiCk
might go into a competition with the
famous Chauncey NJ. DepeW. If he did
the New York senator would find the
/ Kansas man with as great a fund OF
stories to draw from as he has, and he
would also find the Kansan able to tell
them with an Irish. German, Negro or
even Chinese dialect.
Prof. Burdick can take hazardous
flights of Oratory with perfect safety.
I but he always starts out with a few
humorous stories If he didn't those
who know what good stories he can tell
wouldn't listen to the real logic and the
good. hard. common sense that follows.
Prof. Burdick sometimes refers to
/ the story of the barber and the Gus
toner. when he is close pressed for too
many banquet speeches. He says per
hacs his hearers won't want him to go
over his stories again. THAT reminds
me. he will say, of the man who
went into a barber shop to get shaved.
4 The barber commenced to talk when he
tucked the towel about the customers
neck. and he talked necessarily while
he was shaving him. When he had
scraDed his face thoroughly from ear
to ear and had infused several chapters
OF side talk, the barber said, Shall 1 go
over the chin again, sir?' No. said
the customer, I think I can remember
it all But Prof Burdick's barber
story is not ant. for he is like Shake
speare, and never repeats.
Prof. Burdick has been called upon so
oIten by the same organizations to
make speeches that he has called his
talking "a habit" 1T is like the lawyer
who was crOss-Questioning a witness -
once said Prof. Burdick. THE witness
was an 1rishman and he had told of
happening which seemed almost ifnpos-
Sible In referring to the incident the
lawyer said. That was almost a mir
acle. wasn't itg Faith, an I don't
know what miracle is, said Pat
Well said the lawyer. I'll explain If
was to 70 to the roof of four-story
building. was to jump off the roos
strike on the top of my head on the
walk away, what would that be?' sThot
would be an accident said Pat The
lawyer was not Disconnected and he
/ tried again Well Pat, If I was to 60
back to the roof, jump off the second
time, strike on my head on the stone
pavement, get up and walk away, what
i rouia a onat peg sThot would be a co
lawyer, determined to try once more, If
was to go to the roof the third time
ana Jump off and strike on my head OH
! lie otCH6 pavement, and get and
Walk away again, what would that be p
Ihot' said Pat, would be a habit -
Ink won't carry with 1t the rich
progue that Prof. Burdick can give his
stories and only a faint idea of the
laughter they produce at a BANQUET
where food reDlenishes the inner man
ana cigars and wit are in order. Then
mas Prof Burdiclx told of the Irishman
who dressed in his BEST patent feathers,
a on oil
OF course this particular Irishman's
name is Pat 1t is always Pat in a
story Pat announced that he was
ready for the wedding and he left
nome stepping as proud as Beau
Brummel Along after midnight Pat
returned to his home. His hat was
mashed, his clothes were torn, his face
was battered and bruised, one eye was
closed and he was a woebegone looking
individual. What's the matter, Pat?'
was the first question An didn't We
go TO tn wedding?', "Oi did, said Pat
Then, be jabbers, man what's the mat
ter2 There was a fellow there a
strutthin around like turkey gobbler,' .
said Pat He was all swelled I'D and
he made me mad. I SEE to him, Who
are your and he ups and says Dim the
best man. Begorra he was,' said Pat.
There are two other Irishmen that
Prof. Burdick has told about. One had
been in this country for some years.
Mike was his first name and for the
purpose of the story, what his last
name was makes no difference. The
other Hibernian was Pat. He had just
landed. Mike took Pat to the finest ca
thedral in New York. He walked him
around the building and pointed out the
tall spires, the great windows and the
nlassiv eness of the structure. Then he
took Pat inside and showed him the
affairs the magnificent appointments,
the costly decorations. the big organ
and all there was to see. He wished to
impress Pat with the grandeur and
magnifcence of the building.
And what d We think of it, Pat?"
asked Mike.
Sure and it beats HI" said Pat.
Nv coorse, We fool" said Mike.
That's what it's for"
Not long ago Prof. Burdick was called
upon at banquet to speak on religion.
Even then he could not get away from
his funny stories, nor did he need to,
for even with humor he emphasized a
point. "One summer was IN New
England in little seaside town." said
Prof Burdick. I was walking along
the beach when I stubbed my foot and
tore the sole of my shoe. / went to a
nearby cobbler's shop. It was a little
German cobbler I found there and he
was working when I entered. He took
my shoe and began to repair 1t while
i sat there ana LFleu TO engage MIN
in conversation. It was useless. He
would not talk Soon a pretty Salvation
army lassie, with her blue dress and
poke bonnet, opened the door and said:
VIII you buy War Cry?'
e Var, vat warp asked the little cob
bier still pegging away. De Booer
warp
:. No, not the Boer war;. said the girl
:. No, den de Spanish warp
q No, not the Spanish warp
:" Veil, den, de var in de Philippines?
g No. not the war in the Philippines,
1 said the girl almost YEARLY.
Veil. den, vat var2, snapped the
cobbler-
The constant war between Christ
and the devil. said the girl.