davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30
CURE FOR A KICKING cow.
Farmers Method May Have Been All
Right, Hut 1t Was Not Carried
Out Right.

An old farmer-old enough to know
better-says that the way to cure !.
cow of kicking is to catch her by the
leg just as she is about to kick.
She should be grasped firmly, as
close to the hoof as possible, and the
grip must not relax until the kicking
impulse is over. Of course, the
kick must be headed off, as it were.
and not met halfway, nor even three
quarters way, says the Cleveland
Plain Dealer. 1t is a good idea TO
get the hired man to accustom him
self to this simple fact, but at the
same time it must not be forgotten
that a good hired man can easily be
spoiled by careless inattention to di.
rections.
At first it might be well to use \
cowcatcher, or possibly an ordinary
fender, together with a catcher's
mask and padded gloves. Naturally
it will be well to conceal your ap-
pearance from the cow as much as
possible, because so many cows are
timid and easily scared by strange
objects. Then when the cow slightly
raises her hoof and shivers appre-
hensively along the ankle, don't wait
for further developments, but grasp
the lower leg firmly and hang on for
dear life.
I A man named Mullins had a kick
ing cow of IA horsepower, and some
body told him about the grab-the-leg
cure. Mullins told it to his hired
man. The hired man had had the
milking stool kicked from under him
several times, and the milk pail bat.
tered into scrap tin, and he said he
would be glad to try the recipe. So
he put on a pillow for chest pro-
tector and jumped for the leg as soon
as he saw the premonitory symp.
toms.
Well, sir, he went through the
stable window as neat as you please,
taking the sash along with him.
When Mullins reached him he was as
dazed as mudlark.
Nearthquake?" he feebly NUT
tered.
"No," said Mullins, "the cow kicked
you"
Sow kicked mel" the hired man
repeated. 81 wonder how it hap
pened?"
81 wonder?" said Mullins.
But Mullins thought he knew,
though he hesitated about saying SO,
for fear of hurting the victims feel
ings-and he was hurt enough al
ready.
The trouble was that the hired man
was so awfully cross-eyed that he
had grabbed the wrong leg!
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30
I'M Story ! = YI.TfllfS
THE oNE-SToRY MAN.

There are bores in great profusion In this
world we habitate,
And we're pretty sure to strike EN-
whereso'er We navigate
There's the man who knew your orotner
in the days of long ago;
There's the man whose mouth prolific Is
forever on the flow,
But they're blessings in comparison
stand them very we'll
If you'll keep away the man with just
one story he can tell.
1 have met him in CHICAGO. 1 have met
him in St. Lou;
I ignored him up In Ogden. though his
face and form 1 knew;
1 have met him in Tacoma, in Seattle
everywhere
Till you'd think his little repertoire would
grow, but 1 declare
He performs that. same old solo, though
he never did 1t we'll
It's q pain to meet this man with just
one story he can tell!
For he always wants to tell it-that's the
saddest part of all,
And his story knows no season-winter,
summer. spring or fall.
He can tell it just as poorly to crowd
as tete-a-tete:
He will wake to tell 1t early and stay up
70
He is callous to the chimings of the busy
chestnut bell
He must tell it, for, alas! it's all the story
he can TELL
Some sweet day some outraged human
will relax his self-control,
Then a horny-handed sexton must get
out and dig hole
In the sod amid the granite shafts that
rear their heads on high.
While we stife wicked wishes that con-
Germ the by and by,
Won't there be mighty scramble for
chance to ring the knell
OF this poor, deluded man with just one
story he could tell?
Los Angeles Herald.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30
HE WAS A "WISE INDIAN"
Story Related by Uintah Reservations
Agent About Two of His Red
Charges.

Indians soon part with their money.
And in doing SO they frequently dis
play remarkable traits of business
character. Agent Myton, of the Uin-
| tab reservation, tells of number of
partings with the lucre incident to his
| recent payments of rental and other
| incomes. An hour after one old buck
| received $275 in cash he was seen driv-
| ing about the reservation in a splen-
| did two-horse carriage. The Indian
had no means of carting the products
of his range or fields, no wagon, no
COW, little clothing and less to eat.
Reprimanded for his improvidence, he
replied that white man rides in car
riages! why not indiana" He was told
| that he should have purchased COM
| mon heavy wagon, such as could be
| used for farm work; and another In
| dams purchase of such wagon was
told to him as a wise purchase. The
Indian grunted at every word, looked
troubled, but gave no evidence of be-
ing favorably impressed, relates the
Salt Lake Tribune.
Next day Agent Myton saw his In
dian of spendthrifty inclinations rid
ing about in just such wagon as had
been named for him, and upon inquiry
it was learned that he had traded his
$3.50 carriage for the wagon; that as
soon as he had been upbraided the pre-
| vious day he didn't do thing but hunt
up the wise Indian who had bought a
jolt wagon" and propose trade. How
did you trader" was asked. Carriage
his, wagon mine,'' was the reply. The
trade was vehicle for vehicle! The
farm wagon cost the first purchaser
$40, the carriage $3.50. The wise Indian
took the carriage back to the seller
and got two wagons. two sets of har-
ness, blankets, and a. number of other
necessaries. When the first Indian
was told of the trade made by the In
dian who got his carriage he expressed
no regret. He simply grunted,
shrugged his shoulders and exclaimed:
He wise Indian!"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30
HIT BEFORE THE SHOT.
The Villain In q MelOdrama Gives
an Exhibition of Marvellous
Marksmanship.

It was in downtown theater recently,
and the climax of tragedy was approach
ing. Leading up toward this supreme mo-
ment, the villain, lolfng in summer
garden, had been challenged to duel with
the hero, says the Chicago Tribune.
Fight me! Fight mel" and the villain,
too full for further utterance at the mo.
ment, pointed toward bottle standing
empty on table thirty feet away.
The hero turned with supercilious glance
and looked.
'Watch!"
It was the villains cue word, and he was
SO intent upon seeing that none of its
laconic force was lost on the audience that
he must have been slow with the action.
just as his revolver appeared from rear
pocket and was rising in the villains right
hand.
"Bing
The neck of the bottle burst in dozen
pieces and clinked to the floor; the aston
ished villain, with the unexploded weapon
in his hand, stood there with fallen jaw and
lowering arm, while the gallery simply
went to pieces in the delirium of its joy.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30
First Need OF q Doctor.

WI Ting Fang is fond of relating story
about Chinese doctor who didn't satisfy
his patient. The sicker the patient grew,
the more indignant his friends became at
the unsuccessful physician. At last, when
the sick man was in final stage and death
hands on the unfortunate doctor, and, ty-
ing him up to a tree, started to admin
lister smart beating. But while his assail-
ants were looking for stick with which to
beat him, the doctor freed himself, and,
jumping into the river, swan to safety.
When he reached home he found his son,
who was studying to be a physician, por-
put it up, shut it up" said the doctor,
grimly; '.the first requisite of doctor is
to know how to swim, not to cure."-San
Francisco Arponaut.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30
Folding a TabIecIOth

When not in use, a tablecloth
should be kept in folded creases, and
when brought out to be spread
should be laid on the table and un-
folded its entire length (the width
being doubled). with the center
crease along the center of the table.
Then the half breadth that is folded
should be turned back and the cloth
will hang evenly. Careless servants
often gather up cloth anyhow"
without taking the trouble to fold
it up again in it's own creases, and
thus fresh ones are made. A table
cloth will last fresh looking as long
again if it is always folded up after
its own folds and put away until the
next Washington Star.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30
One Hole Mt Least.

Hicks-I bought some oil stock nearly a
year ago, and the fellow who sold it to
me declared the company was already in
operation. I'll bet they haven't sunk a
single hole yet.
must have at least the hole in which they're
going to leave the stockholders.-Catho
Standard and Times
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30
Cheese Balls.

Three cupfuls of grated cheese, salt
and pepper to taste, and the whites
OF three eggs beaten very stiff. Mix
together, then form into small balls,
roll in fine cracker crumbs, and fry
In boiling lard. Serve very hot. :.
Good Housekeeping.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30

kidneys I could not get myself straight
when I tried to stand, would have to
bend in half STOPPING position. got
trial box of Doan's Kidney Pills and took
all of them. At the end of two days they
got me out of bed and I was able to 60
about. I take delight in praising these
Pills. ABE GUM. Jr.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30

Aching backs are eased. Hip, back, and
loin pains overcome. Swelling of the
limbs and dropsy signs vanish.
They correct urine with brick dust sedi-
ment, high colored, excessive, pain in
passing, dribbling, frequency. Deans
Kidney Pills dissolve and remove calculi
and gravel. Relieve heart palpitation,
sleeplessness, headache, nervousness.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30

Little Girl-"A pound of steak, please
and cut it tough, will yer" Butcher
(amazed) -"Why!" Little Girl" Cause
if it's tender father eats it all!"-LondoI
Taller
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30

Lawyer-The jury has brought in q
sealed verdict in your case.
Prisoner-Well, tell the court that they
needn't open it on my account.-Glasgow
Evening Times.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30

RocKDALE. TEX. Dec. 80, 1902. "When
I received the trial package Of Doan's
Kidney Pills could not get out of bed
without help. had severe pains in the
small of my back. The Pills helped me
ut once, and now after three weeks the
pain in my back is all gone and am no
longer annoyed with having to get up
often during the night as formerly. I can
not speak too highly for what Doan's Kid
ney Pills have done for me. I am now 81
years old, have tried great many medi
cines, but nothing did the work until
used Doan's Kidney Pills. JAMES T.
ARTHUR.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30

Do not believe Piso's Cure for Consump-
ton has an equal for coughs and colds.-J.
F. Boyer, Trinity Springs, Ind, Feb. Is, 1900.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30

Mother Gray's sweet POwders
For Children, used by Mother Gray, a nurse
in Children's Home, New York, break up
Colds, cure Feverishness, Constipation,
Stomach and Teething Disorders, and de-
stroy Worms. All Druggists, Csc. Sample
FREE. Address A. 8. Olmsted, LIE Roy, NY.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30

You must walk long time behind gan
der before you find peacock feather
Judge
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30

Ennui is one of our greatest enemies;
remunerative labor our most lasting friend.
-Moser,
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30

Iowa Farms "a Per Acre Cash,
bal. 1crop till paid. Mulhall, Sioux City, Ia.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30
DOan's Trial Triumph

Trial daily carries relief thousands
the proving Doan merit with each individual
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30
Stops the Cough
Didn't Concern Him.

and works off the cold. Laxative Bromo
Quinine Tablets. Price Is cents
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1903-01-30

CLEVELAND, KY, Dec. IS, 1909
was laid up in bed with my back and
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1903-03-03
USE OF ANAESTHETICS.
Much Suffering BY Victims of Railway
Wrecks Could Be AHeVated.

Cleveland, O., Feb. 2S.-Mrs Bal.
lington Booth, of the Volunteers OF
America, has sent letter to the man.
ayers of tae several railways Of the
United States in which she says that
much Of the suffering endured by those
injured in railroad wrecks could be al.
leviated by anaesthetics which should
be part of each trains equipment.
She says that she has travelled much
and has seen a great many passengers
fatally hurt who could have been re.
lieved by being made unconscious.
Her letter concludes as follows:
Would it not be an unspeakable
comfort to bystanders, as we'll as the
sufferers, if those dying in agony could
be rendered unconscious by a few
breaths of merciful anaesthetic, to say
nothing of the prompt aid which could
be rendered to those who might yet
be saved?"
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1903-03-03
ENeLlsHMAN DEFEATED.
Andy TokeII Beaten BY Harry Forbes,
Champion Bantam Weight

Detroit, Mich, Feb. 2S-England
tried for another championship Friday
night and sustained another defeat.
Her champion bantam weight, Andy
Tokell, was beaten by Harry Forbes,
the champion bantam weight of the
world.
Forbes was given the decision at the
end of ten rounds. He won the fight
from start to finish and had the better
of every round with the possible excep-
ton of the seventh, in which he held
his own, and proved himself the SUI
perior of the English champion in ev-
erything that goes to make a cham
pion with the exception of courage,
and in this he was equal to Tokell.
The latter was something of dis
appointment. He showed himself
strong, rugged youngster with a world
Of power behind his blows, and proved
himself game to the core. He took
heavy punishment and came back eV-
cry time in every round willing and
eager to fight again. In skill he was
outclassed by Forbes, who hit him
when and how he pleased and as many
times as Tokell would take without
coming to clinch or breaking ground.
He pounded the Englishman's left eye
shut and cut the left side Of his face
until it looked like the aftermath of a
session with a sausage machine, while
Forbes had not a mark.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1903-03-03
THE WABASH SYSTEM.
President Ramsey Presents Schedule
of Compensation.

Chicago, Feb. 28.-President Ram
sey, of the Wabash road, issued a
statement Friday defending the COM
pany's position in relation to the poll
taken by the trainmen and other EN-
ployes of the Wabash system for OF
against strike to secure an advance
in wages Of II and Is per cent. on
the January, 1902, schedule. 1t is ac-
companied by a schedule of compen-
sation which provides that the train
men of the Wabash west of the Missis-
sippi river after March 1 shall receive
about 5 per cent. more a month on
runs of over 1000 miles than those in
service east of the river. This Mr..
Ramsey explains on the ground that
all eastern tariffs are on much lower
basis than western tariffs and that
east of the Mississippi the Wabash is
in competition with eastern lines.
In conclusion Mr.. Ramsey says that
whenever the eastern lines which the
Wabash completes advance above its
rates east Of the Mississippi the Wa
bash will meet the advance and not
before, and that if its trainmen vote in
favor of carrying the advance Of the
western division least of the river Oil
Wabash lines or strike, then a strike
must occur"
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1903-03-03
THE DEAL is CLOSED.
Sale of the Annapolis, Washington &
Baltimore Railroad.

Baltimore, Feb 2S.-The deal for
the sale of the Annapolis, Washington
e Baltimore railroad to the syndicate
engaged in building the trolley line
between Baltimore, Annapolis and
Washington has been closed, the final
payment for the property has been
made. This deal is the sale of the
$358,000 of the capital stock of the
company.
A new board of directors was elected
as follows: William H Lamprecht,
Cleveland, O.; Alfred R. Horn, Cleve.
land; Harry A. Garfield, Cleveland,
Calvary Morris, Cleveland; Frank
GOsnell, Baltimore.
Mr.. Lamprecht was elected presi-
dent. The motive power will be cleo
tricity. The power house will be sta.
toned at Hyattsvi11e. A speed of so
miles an hour viii be feasible.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1903-03-03
GEN. VIM. J. SMITH DEAD.
He Was One OF the Prominent Figures
of the Late Civil War.

Philadelphia, March 2.-Gen. Viii
liam Farrar Smith, better known as
Baby Smith, one of the prominent
figures Of the civil war, died at his
home in this city. He was in his S0th
year. and was born in st. Adams, Va
He entered West Point at the age CT
II, and when the civil war broke out
he was made commander Of the Third
Vermont regiment. He rose rapidly
and became one OF the leading figures
in that struggle. Fifteen years ago
he became engaged in the work Of i'm
proving the rivers and harbors in Del
aware and Maryland, and made his
home in this city. About a year ago
he retired from this work and last No
vember he took cold from which he
never recovered. He is survived by a
daughter and a son, who is an assist
ant naval constructor. The funeral
of the general viii be held on Tuesday
morning. Gen. Smiths death. it is
said, reduces the number of living
corps commanders of the civil war to
four.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1903-03-03
WAR is PREDICTED.
Trouble Between Russia and Turkey
in the Spring Probable.

st. Petersburg, Feb. %, via Eydtl1u-
linen, German Frontier, March q
Some publicists are of the opinion that
only the sternest language towards
Turkey can prevent a war between
Russia and Turkey in the spring.
They believe that Turkey will pursue
bands of Macedonian revolutionaries
across the Bulgarian frontier and that
public opinion will compel Russia to
interfere.
The Russians thoroughly understand
that war with Turkey will be more
severe one than that of 1878. Officers
are quoted as saying that the Turkish
army is the best in the world owing
to it's German organization and arma-
ment. There is an inclination here to
anticipate German financial support of
Turkey, and, in the view Of the situa-
ton fOrebodings of a clash with Tur-
key are freely expressed in private, al
though they are carefully suppressed
in the newspapers.
COnstantinople, March 2-Advices
from Bulgaria, Servia and Macedonia
reflect the disappointment felt here re-
garding the illusory nature of the Aus
trO-Russian scheme of Macedonian re-
forms which the sultan has agreed to-
Consular dispatches from Salonica re.
port serious encounters between Turk
ish troops and bands of Bulgarians in
the Uskub district, many being killed
on both sides.
London, March 1.-The Geneva cor
respondent of the Daily Chronicle tel
egraphs that news has been received
there of an engagement between Turk
ish troops and bodies of Macedonians
and Bulgarians pear Monastir. The
Turks suffered a repulse. After the
fight 90 dead and many wounded men
were found.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1903-03-03
FLOOD IN OHIO RIVER.
Many Workmen in Pittsburg
Thrown Out Of Work.
Houses and Pottery Plants at East LiV.
erpool Are FIooded-At WeIIesviIle
and SteubenViIIe There Is Suf-
fering From the Flood.

Pittsburg, Pa, March with ev-
cry tributary of the Allegheny and No
nOngahela rivers emptying swirling
torrents into the banks of these two
streams and rushing down to the point
where they converge to form the Ohio,
Pittsburg was given visitation Sum-
day which forced hundreds of fami.
lies to either abandon their homes or
seek escape from the water in the up
per stories while mud and water dis
pensed destruction and discomfort be-
low. Mills in the low lying levels
throughout the county, numbering be-
tween so and CO. were flooded and
38,375 men are thrown idle for four or
five days, with loss in wages of more
than $326,748.
The flood was general throughout
Western Pennsylvania, the streams
everywhere overlooking their banks
and causing more Or less damage to
houses and farms that lay in their
course Down town in Pittsburg cell
lars and easements of business houses
which are in the general flood belt
were inundated while in Allegheny two
railroads were temporarily paralyZed
owing to the water which covered
their tracks. People in the first and
Third wards, Allegheny, had to adopt
Venice methods of going to and from
their homes. Gondolas of the ordinary
Skiff type were commOner than wheel
ed vehicles.
Soon after daylight the water took
possession of the point districts in
Pittsburg and came up almost into
Penn avenue. All Of lower Allegheny
felt the severest effects of the high wa
ter and practically every house be-
tween Isabella street and the river
from the Ninth street bridge to the
point have cellars and first floors food
ed. The Pittsburg & Western railroad
and Buffalo, Rochester & Pittsburg
tracks are under water, necessitating
their abandonment temporarily
Towns below here on the Ohio, how
ever, are still to have their worst ex-
periences during the present high wa
ter Monday or later.
At McKees Rocks and CoraOpolis.
few miles below Pittsburg, the water
Sunday night was so high that the
business sections of both places are
under water and several street car
lines were forced to suspend opera
tions. East Liverpool, o., reports 30
feet of water, Is houses flooded and
several of the pottery plants damaged,
of which the Thompson Pottery Co.
will suffer most. Street car service
to Smiths Ferry has been abandoned.
At Wellsville, four miles below East
Liverpool, the mill of the American
Tin Plate Co. is partially inundated
and scores of families are suffering.
Steubenville. O., reports 80 feet of
water and rising five inches an hour
Five more feet are expected and which
will cause the Wheeling & Lake Erie
and the Cleveland & Pittsburg rail
roads and mills on the low ground to
suspend.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1903-03-03

airy disorders, DropSy, Diabetes.
Bright's Disease. Doan's Kidney Pills
cure all ills of the kidneys and blad-
der. Read this testimony; it tells of
a cure that lasts:
Mr.. A. w. Lutz, carriage wood
worker, of 100 18th Ave-, Sterling, ILL.,,
says: after procuring Doan's Kid
ney Pills in the month of November,
1897, l took a course of the treat
ment which cured me of backache
and other annoyances due to over
excited or weakened kidneys. Dur
ing the three years which have
elapsed, have had no occasion to re-
tract one word of my statement
made at that time. 1 now~unhesi-
tatingly and emphatically re-endorse
the claims made for Doan's Kidney
Pills"
A FREE TRIAL of this great kid
ney medicine which cured Mr.. Lutz
will be mailed on application to any
part of the United States. Address
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
For sale by all druggists, price 50
cents per box.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1903-03-03

N/OMEN should beware of contract
ing catarrh. The cold wind and
rain, slush and mud of winter are espe-
cially conducive to catarrhal derange-
ments. Few women escape.
Upon the first symptoms of catching
cold Peruna should be taken. 1t forti-
fies the system against colds and ca
tarrh.
The following letter gives one young
wOman's experience with Peruna:
Miss Rose Gerbing is a popular society
woman of Crown Point, Ind, and she
writes the following:
Recently 1 took long drive in the
country, and being too thinly clad
caught a bad cold which settled on my
lungs, and which I could not seem to
shake off. had heard a great deal of
Peruna for colds and catarrh and
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1903-03-03
For BOttOm Drawer, No. 2.

A lady who was especially fond of bar
gains came home from sale and displayed
her purchases.
why on earth have you bought this?"
demanded her husband, taking up brass
plate for door with the name of "Wilk-
ms" on it,
well, it was so cheap" replied the wife
Only think, gave a quarter for it; and III
be bound it cost dollar!"
But why throw away quarter? What
possible use is it 90
"Oh," said the bargainer, you never
know how things will come in. For instance,
you might die, and | might marry a man
named Wilkins "-Cleveland Leader.