davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-10-11
MYSTERIES OF THE Law

You may think that you have lived in
Chicago long enough TO be a thoroughly
sophisticated person and a worldly wise
fellow.
Then answer this question; II you had
no money and the Judge was about to
condemn you to the bridewell to work
out fine, would you rather be fined SIS
or 800?
OF course you will say 500, because
you suspect a trap. The chances are
100 to /, however. that you couldn't
explain the trap. Here IS the ex-
PLANTATION. and when you read IL you will
be more than ever convinced that law
is great magic before which the lay
man is helpless.
Suppose that you are fined 500. With
costs this means s1O1.50. Fines are
worked out at the rate of so cents a
day. Your fine Of s101.50, therefore. will
keep you working 2OS days But 2os days
is more than six months, and the law
does not allow you TO stay In the BRIDE
well more than six months. There
fore, your Imprisonment will be reduced
to six months Technically this means
$50 days. But now enters another mys-
terry. An Imprisonment for six months
brings you under the State law. and the
State law allows you three days re-
bate on every month for good conduct
II. therefore. you are good during your
Imprisonment of six months you get
eighteen days rebate Your total i'm
Prisonment, therefore. is $50 days minus
eighteen days. which equals 1852 days
That's what you get for a fine OF 800.
But suppose you are fined SIS. Add
costs. Your real fine is $3.50. Compute
that at so cents day. Your stay at the
bridewell will be 173 days This is less
than six months. Therefore, It does not
come under the State law. Therefore.
you get no rebate for good conduct.
Therefore, you stay your full time.
Therefore. 173 days in what you get for
a fine of Ss5.
For 500, 1s2 days; for $50. 17s days.
Behold the marvels of judicial proceed
ure, and the playful. tricksy, and practi-
cally jocular moods which the law some
times allows itself. This is only one IL
lustration. From time to time the
Tribune" will present It's readers with
other illustrations. There are legal
points Chicagoans ought to know.
The first legal point in the series is:
Never allow the judge who is casting
you into the bridewell 10 fine you SIS
if you can persuade him to fine you 800.
Chicago Tribune.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-10-11

them, clearly discernible through Mr..
Gathman's telescope, are close to-
gether near the north pole of Saturn
just above the dark belt which has been
a distinguishing mark OF Saturn since
its first observation in a telescope.
These spots are very brilliant, one of
tiCm particularly so. and it suggests
the idea of a vast mass of fame or
molten matter floating amid the darker
vspors that surround it.
The mean density of Saturn is low, as
compared with the earth. II the planet
is the size IT appears to be. 1t cannot
living beings, unless the rocks and
earth are of some material about as
light as cork. Astronomers have specu-
lated that the planet may be much
smaller than it appears to be, and con-
sists of small planet enveloped in an
immense cloud of vepor, which we see
and suppose to be the size of the
planet
In this case deep beneath the cloudy
region that we look upon. and where the
white vapors, If such they be, that now
attract the eyes of astronomers are
floating. there may lie a solid globe
relatively as dense as our earth. In
fact, there are reasons for thinking that
such an interior globe. perhaps no
larger than that on which we dwell.
actually does exist in Saturn, enveloped
in an atmosphere of chaotic vapors tens
OF thousands OF miles IN depth.
Whether a globe like that could be
habitable or not Is a question that, at
present, we cannot solve. Life upon It,
If possible at all. would certainly pre-
sent the most extraordinary features
The sun and the starry sky must be
forever invisible. The vast canopy of
dense clouds constitutes the apparent
heavens. Considering the fact that at
Saturns distance the intensity of sun
light is reduced to barely more than one
one-hundredth of it's intensity upon the
earth. 1t appears doubtful If any illum-
nation from that source could penetrate
mense cloudy she'll.
While astronomy as a science has
made great progress in developing math-
metical problems, we are waiting for the
first discovery of physical life and in
telligence on one of the planets Of
the solar system. For this discovery
there is nothing to be hoped from the
telescopes now in existence. More pow
erful instruments are needed than can
be built under the old method. Mr..
Gathman hopes through the perfection
OF his lenses to produce a telescope
which will throw new light upon these
hitherto uEsolved problems. Mr. Gath
man addressed himself to this problem
for several years. and believes he has
succeeded. He has devised a lens which in
the small telescope he has built. gives
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-10-11
FOOTBALL NEXT IN ORDER.

The autumn is here and the summer is
past,
Heigho.
And the football season is on us at last,
Heighoi
They meet OH the gridiron daily for play.
And they MAIN and they cripple and
slug and they Stay
And an ambulance carts all the dead
ones away.
Heigho.
The maids on the bleachers are fond Of
the game,
Heigho,
They are tired of golf and games that
are tame;
Heigho.
They Ike the big sluggers who wear the
long hair
And join in the yeus that dishgure the
And if the blood flows. why. it's little
they care,
HeighoI
The cranks are all there with the
NUNS on their coats.
Heigho,
And they shrek till they tear all the
skin from their threats,
Heigho,
And the bones they are broken and
skulls they are cracked
And eyes are gouged out and shins they
are whacked
And the dead and the dying in heaps
are all stacked,
Heighoi
Hurrah for the carnage and the blood
that is.shed.
HeighOl
Go haul out the cripples, go bury the
dead
Heigho'
For we are all civilized, that you should
know
And civilized game is the game that
must go.
So let the boys punt and so let the blood
flow.
Heigho,
Will Reed Dunroy.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-10-11

theory that the pulse warmers were new
and the hats not purchased at a forced
sale.
Once Banks was fairly met with the
question of whether he really considered
honesty the best policy. or only a policy
for home consumption, and never framed
for business. He replied that he really
believed il to be the best policy.
But" it was objected, If you had
been less honest, look what you might
have had"
II might have had" said the old man.
"a good long term in jail"
When one stops to consider it in that
light it is admitted that honesty forms a
useful place In business.
In the vaults over which Banks pre-
sided with Characteristic fidelity for a
third OF century are thousands OF pri-
vate deposit boxes. Every day COO de-
positors passed the old doorkeeper on
their way to the vaults to examine their
papers. money. jewels, etc. in their pri-
vate boxes. II would have been a ner.
fectly easy matter for the old doorkeener
to have kept some of the treasure he had
found, and which had been carelessly left
out of the boxes by the hurrying deposit
ors. many of them busy men. executors
of estates. etc.
sonce ne found heap OF Jewels in the
deposit room. and the owner gave him IS.
Another time he discovered So 900 worth
of gems lying on a chair without an
owner Seven years later the owner. who
had been traversing the globe, discovered
his loss. and the missing gems were
passed over to him. - Philadelphia
Ledger.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-10-11
: VALUE OF PURE WHITE HAIR !.

The arrest Of two thieves was re-
ported in New York last week who were
arrested for stealing 900 pounds OF
human hair from dealer in that com
modify. The New York Sun" quotes
another dealer in hair as follows:
IF the hair they stole was only aver
age quality American hair. and they had
300 pounds of it. its value was in the
neighborhood of $4,000. II it was fine
imported hair. it's value could easily
have been $3.50. 900.
Hair is the most expensive com
modify on the market, short OF radium
and diamonds. II costs more than its
weight In gold. Some hair costs 500
an ounce. That is 81 900 a pound. II
the youthful sneak thieves had made
away with hair OF this quality. their
swag would have been in the neighbor-
hood OF s4sO. COO
but this expensive hair necessarily
exists in very small quantities. That is
why IL is so rare and so expensive.
This particular hair which costs 800
an ounce is the pure white hair, IN
colored by age. cut from the head of
living person, and measuring at least
thirty inches. Shorter hair OF the
purest white commands high price,
but in order to get the record value the
length must be at least thirty inches.
And in all the United States there is
probably not pound and a half OF this
perfect white hair for sale. Many aged
people have it. but they will not sell.
Elderly people with long white hair
should not be tempted to cut IL off in
the hope OF getting 800 an ounce for it
without first having an expert examine
1t. II II is tinged with yellow it's value
is reduced 10 almost nothing. We can
get plenty OF long white hair tinged
with yellow, but the pure white is ex-
tremely rare and very expensive.
"A wig made for the wife Of a Chicago
bank president by me two years ago Of
this pure white hair, cost the lady 81 .2OC.
And 1t took me nearly year to collect
the hair from all over the country.
used about five ounces in the wig.
Il should say that hair on a voups
girls head, IL about thirty inches long
and of fair quality, would bring the
owner from IS to $40, according 10 length
and thickness. But an American girl
who sells her hair for this trifing sum
is acting very foolishly. OF course. il
she is only fourteen or fifteen it will
grow long again, and cutting the hair
does improve the growth. but never
advise any American girl TO part with
her hair.
The most expensive shade, next to the
white hair have mentioned. is what Is
known as ash blonde. Il is mouse col
ored hair, very rare-not the pale perox-
ide blonde produced by artificial means,
but the natural pale blonde. Hair OF
this kind is easily worth $50 an ounce.
but very few people have it,
The cheapest kind OF hair is black
Chinese hair. cut from the queues of
Cinnamon You can buy this hair for IS
a pound. 1t is used only for stage pur-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-10-11

Isaac Banks. who died at his home in
this city recently. had a history that, at
first thought would indicate that he
had recovered Aladdin's lamp, for he
had. in his long life, found no less than
2,OO0, 900.
With all this great wealth. which was
perhaps may times more than Pizarro
carried away with him in his caravels
from Peru, Mr.. Banks was not a rich
man; in fact. during the last few months
Of his life he existed upon a pension, for
he gave every cent of it to it's legal
owners.
Looked at either as an honest man.
for whom Diogenes would have extin
guished his lamp, or as lucky one.
who needed no nimble genii to dance
attendance upon him. Mr.. Banks was
considered by those who came I'm con-
tact with him as a remarkable char
acter.
One would naturally think that hon
esty OF such proportion would at least
be handsomely rewarded, but unless one
can be a little elastic with the use Of
the word, a pair of suspenders Qittle
worm, given for the return OF s25 900.
is not what would be generally desig-
mated a reward. Such, however. was the
fact. sundry pulse warmers for the re-
turn Of the jewels of a millionaire's
wife, worth ever so many thousands,
would probably change ones optimistic
creed about humanity. Banks. however,
simply looked upon 1t all as duty, and
no slave to duty ever let his thraldom
ekafe him SO lightly.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-10-11

know it ALL" he remarked to a Times
reporter. "and do not believe that any
other engineer than the Clarks know
anything about making lenses
Miss Mary Proctor, however, called
upon Mr.. Gathman one night last week
and viewed the moon. Jupiter and Saturn
through his telescope. She was sur
prised and delighted at the power o. the
little 9-foot telescope which MIR Cath
man has upon the roof of lis house.
Miss Proctor declared that this instru-
ment gave as sood results in many ways
as could be obtained through much
larger instruments. According 10 her
expressions. she went away convinced
that there is something in the sectional
lens telescope.
Mr.. Gathman is civil engineer, and
not an astronomer. He lays no claim
to superior knowledge in astronomy
He could not work out an eclipse or
figure the orbit of a comet. What he
claims is that he has discovered, made
and patented a telescope lens. which.
when known, will do away with the
huge and costly object glasses the as
tronomers now use. He believes that
a twenty-six-inch object glass made
according to his plans would give a
telescope of far greater power than any
now in existence. He hopes to be able
TO construct such an instrument some
time In the future. He estimates the
cost OF such an instrument at $40, 900,
mounted and ready for work.
Mystery of the Moon.
Mr.. Gathman expects his new instru-
ment to solve the mystery which sur
rounds the moon. In the ordinary
telescope 1t appears like a volcanic
mass. with burned and dead mountains
and valleys. Mr.. Gathman has exam
ined the moon carefully with his pres
ent telescope, shown in one of the views.
and has come to the conclusion that
there is life on the moon, and that
some of the changes which have been
noted on its surface are the result of
growing vegetation. With the proposed
telescope Mr.. Gathman hopes 70 bring
the moon near enough to show more
definitely what is going on there.
As the result of his observations, Mr.
Gathman has come to the conclusion
that the moon has an atmosphere. much
rarer than ours. and that some form Of
vegetation grows there which affects its
color in the passage from new moon 10
full moon. He argues that il the
satellite were a cold and lifeless body
IT would be brighter at full moon when
the sun is shining almost directly upon
it than it is at new moon when the
rays strike it obliquely. The opposite
is the fact; the face of the moon is
darker at full moon than at the begin
ming of the month. This. Mr. Gath
man thinks. can be explained on the
theory that there is vegetation on the
moon, and not otherwise.
Bright Spots on Saturn.
Through Mr.. Gathman's telescope the
spots on Saturn. which have interested
the astronomers so much for a few
months, are distinctly visible. The as
tronomers began to see these marks
last May. They are in the form of
brilliant white spots, covering immense
areas Of the northern side Of the planet.
At first only one was seen, but finally
several made their appearance. Two of
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-10-11

For ffty-eight years Banks had been
in the employ of the Fidelity Trust
Company. and when he reached that
anniversary a few months ago the cor
poration told him he had done enough,
and then retired him with a pension on
which to finish his remaining days, for
he could not lay up rich store by the
occasional bestowal of a pair of en-
broidered suspenders or of home-knit
pulse warmers
Banks was born in this city, and was
active in the old volunteer fire COM
pany movement. He was a charter
member OF the Hsnd-in-HaSS Council
No. II. order United American Mechan-
les. For thirty-three years he was door
keeper of the safety deposit room in the
Fidelity Company Building.
This was the place where he was
persistently finding money, and 1t oc-
Cured so frequently that il must have
become habit with him. He was once
asked to count up his harvest, and he
itemized his rewards as follows:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-10-11

excellent results. and he hopes with
the larger instrument. in which there is
no loss of power. by increasing the size
OF the lens TO magnify the apparent size
OF the planets. and to bring them so
close that some actual facts as to their
surface conditions can be obtained.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-10-11

socket being shaped like the ace OF
clubs, and is supposed to have belonged
to the treasure rooms. This and another
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-10-11

What a test one,s honesty must un-
dergo to deliver over $4,000, 900 for SIS,
and that $50 is accounted under the
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-04
NOTICE TO ADVERTISERS.
WEATHER..
Tonight and Saturday fair.
COMMERCIAL CLUBS GOOD WORK

The Commercial Club, which now
includes in its membership nearly all
the business men of the city regardless
of factions, is doing some splendid
work for Walla Walla. 1t was through
the efforts of the club that Andrew
Carnegie's library offer was secured.
The club also did a great deal towards
securing the location of the Stubble-
field home near Walla Walla. These
two achievements would be enough to
entitle the organization to the respect
and gratitude of ever loyal citizen of
Walla Walla, but there is more good
work 20 follow.
At a meeting next Tuesday the club
will take up the water problem, the
retention of the garrison and the paw
ing of the business streets. These are
all most worthy objects to be attained
and the club should have the hearty
encoura cement Of the public in its eff
forts To promote the growth and pros
perity of the city. 1t is to be hoped
that there will be a full attendance
next Tuesday and that every member
of the club will be actuated by de-
sire to do anything and everything
honorable for the upbuilding of Walla
Walla
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-04

those of most county officers. In a
district expanding from $4,000 to
$4,000 a year it is certainly of the
highest Importance that the people
should take keen interest in school
elections.
That the people are quite we'll salts
fed with the present board of educa-
ton is proven by the fact that there
will be no opposition ticket tomorrow.
The board did a wise thing at a re-
cent meeting when it directed the
clerk to make a complete financial
statement showing the receipts and
disbursements of the district for the
last fiscal year. The taxpayers had
long insisted upon the making of this
statement according to law and if the
board had not gracefully yielded, it is
more than likely that candidates
pledged to make the required state
ment would have been in the field
tomorrow.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-04
MUCH NEEDED ORDINANCE.

Section 90 of the city charter says:
THE city of Walla Walla shall have
power to establish and regulate mar
kets to provide for the measuring or
weighing of hay. coal, wood or. any
other article"
The city of Walla Walla is now GER
tainly large enough to have q public
market place for the selling of wood,
hay, coal and farm produce and in
connection with this market there
should be an officer whose duty it
would be to weigh or measure articles
offered for sale. small fee could be
charged for this service making the
office self-sustaining. Under the pres
ent system there is often much dis
satisfaction with the measuring or
weighing of articles offered for sale,
and all annoyance from this source
would be obviated by the appoint
ment of such an officer. The subject
has been mentioned in meetings of
the council quite often, but so far no
ordinance has been drawn carrying
the proposed reform into effect. The
councilman who will introduce an or
dinance creating a market place and
providing for a WeighmaSter will earn
the commentator of the public The
new job might be given to one of the
four or five men elected poundmaster
within the last six weeks.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-04
TOO POPULAR TO WORK.

In describing a paternal ancestor
who had made many friends but had
accumulated little of this worlds
goods, a contemporary writer diagnos-
ed the failure as due to an excess of
popularity. The parent had been too
popular to work.
The fellow with the genius for pop
ularity, despite the gem that he is in
the crown of society, despite the good
cheer that distributes with a smile
here and a joke there. is arther cursed
than blessed. That is to say, he is
cursed according to conventional
standards, and. after all, there are nc
other standards.
He is cursed because the secret OF
his genius is an unregulated unselfish
ness, the kind of blind disregard of
self-interest which gives away all
today and trusts to luck tomorrow. He
is cursed because he is of service to
outsiders and of mighty little use to
his wife and children. He is cursed
because he has not the business in
stinct which, rain or shine, looks out
fer his rights. He is cursed because
his friends keep his arm going like a
pump handle from morning till night
in one constant succession of how
dys.' He is cursed because he will
lend money with never an expectation
of getting it back. He is cursed be-
cause he will buy the dinner for a
wealthy 'tight-Wad' just to see if by
chance the chap won't loosen up" He
is cursed because he can be fooishly
cheerful when the sum of his resources
amounts to fifteen cents and credit.
He is cursed because he begins a ca
reer of wholesale philanthropy too
young--befOre he has sold out his
holdings for S400,00O,OOO of first mort
gage bonds. He is cursed because he
ventures into the good Samaritan role
before he can afford it.
There is a depth of teaching in the
phrase too popular to work. This
characteristic gives birth to most of
our ward potentates and, in the end
fills not a few of our poorhouses and
to do is to avoid being popular, keep
the nose close to the grindstone and
think of ones dependent family before
letting the resources spread out to
people who ought to take care of
themselves.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-04
GOOD YIELD OF FRUIT.
Abner Goodwin Realizes Good Re.
suits From Crop-Finding
Ready Market.

Abner Goodwin, who is one of the
big fruit raisers of the Wallula dis
trict, was in the city yesterday, on a
short business trip. Mr.. Goodwin re-
ports that his crop of fruit this year
was the best he has raised for sew
eral seasons. My apple crop" said
Mr.. Goodwin, was the finest l have
produced since 1 have been engaged
in fruit raising. Every tree produced
fine, large apples and there was no
scale on them. Peaches and pears did
equally as we'll and all small fruits
were good. I have found ready sale
for all my products and the prices
have been better than for some time.
am now dispOsing of the fruit to in
dividuals in the Wallua district, and
receiving better returns than if I had
let the commission men handle it,
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-04

for two nights, next Wednesday and
Thursday, when she will present her
two latest and greatest successes,
The Frisky Mrs. Johnson" by Clyde
Fitch and THE UnwelcOme Mrs.
Hatch" by Mrs Burton Harrison.
Both plays are strongly distinctive
types of the drama and possess all the
elements of popularity.
Among some of the welcome players
who accompany Miss Roberts this sea-
son are Lucius Henderson, Howard
Scott, William Yerance, Frank Hol-
Inns, George Yielding, w. l.. Gleason,
Herbert Fargeon, G. Gregory Rodgers.
Al Luttringer, Frank Woods, Miss
Fanny Young, Miss Edith Angus, Miss
Virginia Brissac. Miss Nina Herbert.
Miss Marion Barhyte, Miss Lucia
StetsOn, Miss Ollie Cooper and others.
Mr.. Warde reports that Miss Rob-
erts is playing to very large business
all along the line and adding largely
to her personal popularity.