New-York tribune., 1903-07-20
NATIONAL CAPITAL NOT ES
rFRoM THE TRIBUNE BUREAU.l

Washington. July 49,
PENSION OFFICE HUMORS.-Penson Commits
sioner Ware whose sense of humor is as acute as
it is broad and deep. fairly revels in the highly
original letters that to his desk in abundance
beyond that of the correspondence of any of the
government departments. But among all those Of
recent date the following, with its delicate tribute
to his predecessor, who had turned down the
applicant a couple of years ago in his opinion is
entitled to the bun:
sur-sum 2 years ago sent peal to yure ofits
if yu are the sam or if yu hay cult the ole stan
and letten his royn magisty Hott lakes EXans tenG enc
yu under barl yu sholy Gin holler down OF s togR
yure scart Outen yu close
THE LIMIT OF PATIENCE-Up in New-York
| State lives pension claimant who has sounded
note Of warning to overcautious government
in letter TO Secretary Hitchcock, who has re-
| ferred it to Commissioner Ware She says:
have furnished the evidence, all that has been
they know the address OF, all the persons and
parties and They have made Evidence enough to to
have to go to the Judge above. for cant not and
noW fSPnished this Thing Of calling for the same
S33f Sfg3 put up with it III go without my pension
PENsIoNABLB NERVOUSNESS? - Secretary
Hitchcock the other day referred the following let
ter, addressed to him, to the Pension Bureau for
consideration:
Befar the there wasent no man man who tho. could
T eiZd me man could blow me over and am so
nervous holler when heer a hog sqeak in KILN
wind. I amt piayin nc baby ack Mr. sectery but
if alls is spreadn $50 bills out IN the son 10 GPy
nuther ole sojer. ort to be paid for my nervous
ness.
FIGHTING BLOOD AROUSED.-The walls of
wrath that Xantppe is recorded as having poured
out upon her phosophic husband in ancient history
ed q
cations that sometimes reach the Pension Bureau
from irate claimants. What some of them lack In
the way of gentle English is often amply counter
balanced by a profane and abusive vocabulary or
ample dimensions. Here. for instance is an emana-
ton from a veteran who thinks Uncle Sam is not
playing quite fair with him. He says:
Sir: Yours reed. The contents of Which no Nor
t6e PAINS tToube PriTations and Expense that
have done been at And then to get the scTaIl t OF
Department from which it reported to come from
treafmenf % that you received in Hospital in
know Baltimore Annapolis and Camp Parole
Ask them that fool question: its there business to
me Something for my Support in My. Old Days or
else starve-t9 beg % wont m want want nm my wrlGh[s io
deprivs a s0rns me Of Of fhem fbt nm" anu you ' " '
DISABILITY OF FAT-The Pension Bureau
is wrestling with the problem whether one Or
Vile James really is sufferer from dropsy. James
is a veteran of the Civil War who lives in a small
hamlet in New Hampshire. The examiners have
been taking testimony in his case. and the evi-
dence is conflicting But the most remarkable
testimony of all is given in the following affidavit
to which one of the claimants neighbors sub
scribes:
I variIy believe that Orvtlle James is fatigued
pounds and hav a family to fead-the nabors they
thinks he have dropsy but ! no he have no dropsy
becos he would bust IL he had modr 1nsides him
than he now hav. besides wich he are without
,-tious habits or references no he have solid
fatt and vttes in him and no dropsy
NO SYMPTOM OF JOY.-An asthmatic applicant
is supported by the following extract from the
letter of one of his neghbors:
He got diseased in his pipes-and when his pipes
whistle no song, but just a plain stringy whistle
There wasent no mocking bird BUSINESS bout II for
il showed sorrer and another thing ddent
whistle beCos he happy, necos the slcker ne
got the better he whistled.
THE DEMON JEALOUSY-"Bevare of the vid-
ders'' said Tony Weller and so says wearer Of the
weeds in letter TO Interior Department in point
ing out few discrepancies in pension claim The
writer is against permitting any bunco game on
Uncle Sam particularly when a old rascalton'
is eventually to get the money, She writes thus
In an ANONYMOUS communication which Secretary
Hitchcock recently found In his mall;
There WIS a claim for rsIsions Made ny Isaac