davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1903-05-30

INSTALLATION Ceremony For Pomonas.
There should be a more elaborate and
Impressive ceremony for the installa-
zion Of officers Of subordinate and Po-
nona oranges than the one in present
fu3e, says writer in the Rural New
f3orker. It is good, but it may be i'm
proved. We have seen poetical forms
for installation. but we believe there Is
NO better form than good prose. This
b sometimes pubhe ceremony, and
7hen all the more is there need Of an
tmpressive service SO that those out
tide our gates may learn somewhat Of
eur teachings and purposes. However,
The present form for installation may
Dc made more effective than it is If
given without the use of the manual.
This is now done by some deputies and
other installing officers. Simply read,
It has little Of impressiveness; recited,
with such impromptu remarks as the
occasion may inspire, it would leave
u more lasting impression and thereby
serve its purpose better.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1903-05-30

IN 1899 he was elected lecturer OF the
4nadonal grange. During Brother Bach
Aaeaders term as master the New Hamp-
Nhlre grange has doubled it's member
a1htp, and the state now ranks among
~}the first in grange strength. Brother
t6achelder was also prominent in or
>Ganizing and managing the state
jgrange fair in New Hampshire. He
Fh1s served with distinction on the leg
4s3ative committee of the national
Grange.
Brother Bachelor has for fifteen
years been secretary Of the New Hamp-
1htre board Of agriculture and for
many years commissioner Of immigra-
ton. In the latter capacity he issued
beautiful booklets descriptive Of New
Hampshire farms and started a move
'ment for the buying up of the 'aban-
%doned" farms. He has also been Sec
cetary of the New Hampshire Old
aaome Week association. Last fall he
was nominated for governor by the
sRepublicans Of New Hampshire and
WAS elected.-Michigan Farmer.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
He Dropped the
Suhiecf, Nor K NOTHING

'Ten thousand dollars for a dog" he
exclaimed as he looked up from his
newspaper. 'Do you believe any one
ever paid any such price, Maria:'
I'm sure | don't know, James," she
returned without stopping her needle
work even for Il moment. Does the
paper say that much WAS paid!'
Eyes There's an article on valuable
dogs and it speaks of one that was sold
tor $l0,ooO. | don't believe it,
''It may be true, James," she said
quietly. sSome of these bloodcd ami
mails bring fancy prices, and there's
no particular reason why the paper
should II" about if "
Il know that, Maria, but just think
OF it.. lust try to grasp the magnitude
OF tllat SUN in your weak feminine
mind, You don't seem to realize it,
Ten thousand dollars for IL dog Why,
hang it, Maria, thHt's more than | am
WORTH
81 know 1t, Joseph, but some are
worth more than others"
She went on calmly with her sewing,
while he fumed nnd sputtered for Il
moment and then dropped the subject,
especially the weak, feminine mind part
of it.-ChicagO Post.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
9hREWDNEsS OF A LAWYER.
quickly Perceived That the Witness
Was Not Honest.

The lawyer who has an ins: 'n:t foI
the weak poist Of witness generally
fights a winning game. A famous law.
yer put certain questions to witness.
which were answered with more OF
less hesitation. The witness was asked
20 repeat his statements. and then
once more the same process was gone
through.
Suddenly, without warning, the
Gross examining counsel pointed his
nrser at the witness and in loud tones
;ried:
Give me ti:at paper in your waist
'oat pocket
Taken completely by surprise, the
witness mechanically took paper
t to the counsel
There was profound stiffness in the
odrt as the lawyer slowly read. in his
DOL, calm voice, the exact words OF
he witness in regard to the state
'nent, and called attention to the fact
hat they were in the Handwriting o.
lie lawyer on the other side. He then
gathered up his papers with great de.
'beration, remarked ~Aat there seem
I'd 20 be no further need of his ser
Sices,' and left the court
When asked to explain how he ar
.ived at SO shi iewd conclusion, the
AWyer replied:
"A witness who has learned his evi.
1eHee will noa give it as if he had
Aeard it merely. Besides, / noticed
that WheD word failvd him his hand
wandered mechanically e his waist
cat pee a:.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
His Bluff Was Called.

The crowd was talking about poker,
and one man asked, Did you ever
know man-that is. man who knew
how to play poker-to open jack pot
when he didn't have openers?'
"Yes, once in AriZona,' said Fred
Stone, the Scarecrow of The Wizard
of o." "a chap opened a jack pot in
which a cattleman, miner a bar
tender and myself had undivided in
terest. He had only pair Of deuces
and tried to win with a big bluff"
"Did anybody call him.
"Yep; his Creator. New York Press
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
NarlS, PopsllatiA,l.

fh.. population of Paris has grown
during the last five years by more than
i50,0 900 inhabitants. All the arrondis-
sements, with two exceptions, show
An increase, the lead being taken by
the eighteenth ACCOMPLISHMENT, with
IN increase Of 22.t55. AS in London.
Il is the central cart Of Paris that
lows decrease of residents. the
10 ;le<, arIo1diss sment losing 1900
.nd cha aescad reimbursement 1852.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
Peo.. ID BY Men Only.

Ma1watchi :, on the borders of Rus
sia. is the only city III the world peo.
pied by men only. The Chinese women
are not only forbidden to live in this
territory, but even to pass the great
wall of Kalkan and enter into Mon
Eolia. All the Chinese OF this bordes
city are exclusively traders.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
Art.

81 was so glad to see you at the con-
cert last night" said Mrs Oldcastle
Don't you think Nine. Waldenstein
was in splendid voice? like her per
to do her part con amore, don't you
Think"
eyes, | was talkin' to Josiah about it,
but he says he thinks she does it on an
empty stomach. ."-Chicago Record Her.
aid,
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
willing to Call 1t Square.

"Call me- Il liar. do you:' exclaimed
the little man with the red head
you'll apologize for that or take lick
ing!"
The other man repeated the offense.
Then there was fight
1t was fierce battle, but the other
man whipped.
81 didn't want to do it," he said, 'but
nothing else would satisfy yon."
The little man picked himself up,
brushed the dust Off his clothes, re-
moved the evidences Of the conflict
from his nose and turned to his an
tagonist.
II accept your apology he said
stiffiy.-Chicago Tribune.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
A Yearninx.

When you're back from your vacation and
your summer recreation and assume
your humble station with the myr-
midons OF toll,
WheQ you swelter and perspire as the
sun keeps going higher and the grim
celestial fire sets your system all
abroil
Then it Is you sit and ponder on the good
times over yonder. and your mind
goes on a wander down the country
as you wish
You might just keep on forever, to the
other END Of never. sitting by the
rolling river with your tackle and
the fish!
Baltimore News.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
Wedding
InVitatiOnS...

The Adams Printing Company has
just received shipment of 5000
wedding invitations from Geo. f.
Brown, Of New York. These invita-
tions are OF the latest cut and style.
Be sure TO call and see them before
ordering.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
Not Out of the Ordinary.

Cadlcy-I must confess ] was pretty
cranky yesterday. Did the girls say
anything about it?
kandor-Oh, no!
Cadley-S Strange they didn't notice
my behavior
Kandor-I guess they didn't see any
thing unusual about it.-Philadelphia
Press
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28

The person who lays aside one dol
lar week the first year is likely to
lay aside two dollars the second year,
four dollars week the third and 50
on.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
umcient Reason.

Mr.. Rorem-I can't imagine why she
was out when / called
Miss Pert-Why, didn't you just tell
me she knew you were coming g?-Phill
adelphia Ledger.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
Dcliberate.

'1e seems to be rather slow in his
movements"
'Yes. He Is so deliberate that he
never has smooth face. The beard
grows on one side while he is shaving
the other'
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
Feminine Finance.

81 made $50 this morning"
GLOW did you make it?'
81 saw something I wanted that cost
that much. and l didn't buy it,"
'Why didn't you buy it,"
II didn't have the money. so I'm that
much ahead. Chicago Post.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28

"Were you ever In love, James"
Huh! I've had dat fool disease SO
often dat I'm immune San
Francisco Examiner
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-09-28
Remedy for SwearikG Habit.

A Boston preacher has a remedy for
swearing. It Is 20 quote scrtptural
texts instead. One wicked pacishion.
er of his cured himself in six we?ths
hy this method.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02

No UMBRAGE For H1M-An Allen
town business man, who will be named
Smith for convenience, tells the fol-
lowing story at the expense Of rel
ative from Berks county: "The other
day I went to the station to meet q
cousin from the rural portion Of Berks
county. I didn't know what Jim's
views on the liquor question were,
and owing to the fact that his people
are strict church members, hesitated
about asking him to join me In TAX
ing a drink. Finally 1t occurred to me
to use a little diplomacy to ascertain
where Jim stood on this question. So
I put the question to him In this man
ner: Jim, would you take umbrage
IL I were to ask you to have a drink
with me?" Jim looked at me quizZi-
cally for a moment and then said:
See here, Harry, If you are calculat-
ing on having fun with your country
cousin you are going to slip up on it.
When I was in New York last summer
some of the boys coaxed me to take
several drinks with high-sounding
names. I was dead to the world for
several days. No, sir won't be fooled
again. don't know what this 'um-
bragg is like, but hereafter when l
want to drink I stick to beer or whis-
y.'"-Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02
THE vEsUvIUs WILL BE SOLD.
One of the Most Unique Failures OF
Modern Naval History.

Mooorn Naval ntSto'J'
The dynamite cruiser VesuVlus Will
be sold in all probability soon, says
the New York Times. To repair the
Vesuvius, it is said $4,000 would be re-
quired, while to remove her pneumatic
dynamite guns, and the making or
other alterations necessary to equip
her as a dispatch boat, would require
an expenditure of s9O,S60, both Of which
sums in the opinion Of the navy de-
partment are greatly in excess of what
would be justifable under the circum-
stances.
The going Of the Vesuvius will re-
move from the roster Of ships in the
American navy one Of the most unique
failures in modern naval history. The
project Of firing dynamites from pnue-
matte guns has long since been proved
a failure and there are other things In
connection with this queer craft, too,
almost as much to her detriment as
the dynamite equipment.
Another vessel now in the navy, and
to which is attached much sentiment,
owing to the fact that she is one Of the
ships captured by commodore, now Ad-
miral Dewey In the battle Of Manila, Is
likely to go under the hammer. This
ship is the old iron merchant craft,
Manila. The Manila last fall arrived
ut San Francisco in a disabled condi-
ton. A board of survey was appoint
ed to look the old ship over, and their
report was to the effect that to put her
in good trim would require an outlay
Of about $15O,OOO, while even then, ow-
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02

BISHOP AND THE BUS DRIvER.-Foul
years ago I had occasion to ride on ar
omnibus, the driver of which used hi:
whip rather numerically. Beside me
and next to the driver sat a bishop
who demonstrated with the man fol
fiogging his horses.
What do you know about it, ole
humbug?" retorted the bus man.
IF you don't shut up I'll give thu
but end Of that to you. which thu
'osses only have lash Of" was the dri'
ver's reply.
On reaching our destination, and at
ter the bishop had walked off, thu
driver. turning to me, said: "Wht
was that old stick-in- -the-mud" Or
informing him that he was probably
a well-known clergyman, he cried;
"Good, gracious! I'll run after him
and beg his pardon!" This he did al
once, and the bishop seeing him run.
ming down the road, whip in hand, flee
himself at most unprelatic pace
thinking the driver meant to fulfill his
threat, while the bus man roared out:
"Stop, my lord! Pardon, my lord
pardon!"-London Telegraph.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02
WOMEN AND THE PROVERBS.

Crimes of Which an international Jury
Has Convicted Her,.
A wonderful similarity exists in the
sayings about women current in the
various nations.
The Spanish rhyme has 1t: "Were a
woman as little as she Is good, a pea
pod would. make her a gown and
hood"
An old English saying: IF a man
lose woman and a farthing he will be
sorry he lost the farthing."
The French adage: "A man of
straw is worth a woman Of gold"
The German: There are only two
good women in the world-one dead
and the other can't be found"
The Scotch say: Honest men mar
ry soon, wise men never"
In Fife they say: "The next best
thing to no wife is good wife,"
The Arabian declares: words are
women; deeds are men,"
The Persian sage says that a wom-
ans wisdom is under her heel.
The German afrirms that every
daughter of Eve would rather be beau
tiful than good.
The German also asserts that when
ever there Is mischief brewing wom-
an and a priest are at the bottom Of it.
The Persian asserts that women
and dragons are best out Of the world.
The Corsican says: "Just as good
and bad horse both need the spur,
a good and bad woman both need the
stick" ...
The Hindoo: "A man Is obeyed by
his wife in his own house, nor does
she consider him her husband unless
he beats her."
Another Hindoo proverb says:
Drive out a woman's nature with a
pitchfork and it will return again and
again."-London Tit-Bits.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02

ing to her design, she would not be a
very desirable addition to the navy.
To transform her into a receiving
ship, 100000 was the estimated cost,
and since she can only accommodate a
small number Of men, that was also
considered undesirable. The result Is
that the government has decided that
the vessel is unfit for repairs, and that
it is not to its interest to retain her
in the service.
However, owing to the sentiment at
tached to the Manila, the department
decided to submit the matter to Con-
gress, which could give effect to the
sentiment by joint resolution or other
wise. Congress did not take any action
on the matter. though, and now the
secretary Of the navy 'can do what he
thinks is best for the service in the
matter.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02

MINING TERMs.-A mining exchange
gives the following definitions of min
ing terms:
Amalgam-Gold or silver combined
with mercury.
Contact vein-A vein between two
dissimilar rock masses.
Country rock-The rock on each side
Of vein.
Cross-cut-The level driven across
the course Of a vein.
Footwall-Layer Of rock Immediately
beneath the vein.
Fissure vein-A crack in the earth's
crust containing mineral.
Free gold-Gold free Of other sub
stances.
Hanging wall-The layer of rock or
wall overhanging lode.
Level-A horizontal passage in a
mine, diverging from a shaft.
Outcrop-The portion on vein
showing at the surface.
Vein--An aggregation Of mineral
matter in rock fissure.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02

GLADDEN. AND THE AaNosT1c.-The
Rev. Washington GLADDEN., after a lee
ture at Harvard, discussed with q
number Of students the Christian re-
llgion. The students, as is sometimes
the way with young men, manifested
a lack Of faith. They were not asham-
ed Of this lack, either; they seemed,
on the contrary, to be proud Of 1t.
81" said lad Of 1S years, a fresh
man, Il am an agnostic." He spoke
pompously, his hands in his pockets
He regarded narrowly the effect on
Mr.. GLADDEN. of his bold words.
"You are an agnostic?" said the
clergyman.
IT am an agnostic.''
What Is an agnostic?" Mr.. GLADDEN.
asked. "Tell me won't you just what
meaning you attribute to that word?"
The lad staggered about the room
He still kept his hands in his pockets
IAN agnostic," he said, frowning. why
an agnostic is-ah-a fellow-a fellow
who isn't sure Of anything"
How does it happen, then," asked
the clergyman, that you're sure you're
an agnostic ?''-Buffalo Courier.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02

THEIR FATHERS LAST REoUEsT.-A
millionaire had died.
There had been great apparent grief
among those who had been most sub
stantially remembered.
And some real-for-sure regret
among those who had expected to, but
hadn't got dollar.
The funeral was over.
The millionaire's sons had gathered
for conference.
Among the pet plans Of the old
mans declining days was a magnif-
cent palace on whose style Of con-
struction he had disagreed with every
member Of the family.
"You will remember" said the eld-
est son, choking back his emotion
wonderfully we'll, that it was the last
request that we carry out every plan
he had made regarding the new house
Yes-s," they groaned in, chorus.
well, I have arranged that it be
DONE"
Thereupon he piled all the plans OF
his fathers architect into a large
waste basket and bore them triumph
antly out to the rubbish bin In the
back alley.
II may say, truthfully, that 1t Is
pleasure to carry out these plans, even
though we disagreed in their FORM
Ing" replied the young man as he re-
turned with the empty basketball
timore American.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02
ILL NATURED sRUTEs.
Endurance and Carrying Power the
Only Good Traits in Cameis.


AS we have racers and cart horses,
so the Arabs and the natives Of north
eastern Africa have breeds of camels
severally adapted for riding and for
carrying burdens. It is to the fast rid
ing and racing camels that the name
dromedary alone applies, so that this
term-the Greek equivalent of racer
indicates merely a breed and not a
particular species.
All the camels Of Arabia and Africa,
as vel! as those employed in India, be-
long to the single bumped species,
which is lightly built and long limb
ed animal in comparison with its dou-
BILE bumped relative, the Bactrian
camel Of central Asia. Not improbably
some Of the herds of the latter species
which are found in the neighborhood
Of the Cobb desert are the descendants
of aboriginally wild animals, but the
Arabian camel is quite unknown In a
wild state, and we are even ignorant
of it's birthplace, although 1t is quite
likely that this may have been north
Africa or the neighborhood Of the Ara
bian desert. For traversing desert
tracts camels are absolutely indispen-
sable. Their broad cushionlike hoofs
proclaim them essentially animals of
the desert, and a camel Is absolutely
helpless on a wet and slippery inclined
road.
AS If conscious that man cannot do
without them camels are some Of the
worst tempered and i'll natured brutes
in creation, and, save for their en-
durance and the heavy loads they can
carry, no one has a good word to say
In their favor. If camel can bite a
mounted traveller whom he may be
passing in a narrow road, he will new
err fail to avail himself Of the oppor-
tunity, and the bubbling noise made by
mast" camel at night will destroy
the rest of an entire camp.-London
Illustrated News.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02
Au,nornns department.

DUTY FIRsT.-A London preacher
had an interesting experience not long
ago with a hungry man. The mendi-
cant explained that he had found 1t
absolutely impossible to get work. He
had applied everywhere, always to be
turned away, and at last nothing re-
mained for him but to beg from door
to door for the food that was neces-
sary to keep life in his body.
The clergyman's heart was filled
with pity. The poor man seemed to
be honest, and after being furnished
with a good meal he was asked where
a message would reach him. He gave
an address and went away.
Then the preacher sat down to think
the matter over. He knew OF no WORK
that he could find for the man, but he
decided to invent a job.
This gentle fiction could continue
until something turned up, and In the
meantime the unfortunate one would
not have to be humiliated by knowing
that he was living on charity.
Accordingly the next day the
preacher sent a message to the luck
less man, saying:
"Come at once. I have position
for you. We need man to clean our
schoolhouse and keep 1t in order"
He received an Immediate reply as
follows:
Sorry I can't come. have to
march with the unemployed today.
Would tomorrow do?'-Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02

WHEN TO BEWARE OF THE Doa.-Dr
H. D. Gill, Of New York, one Of the
foremost authorities on this subject
has recently given some practical sug-
gestions for the detection Of hydro.
phia. He says:
Beware of q dog when 1t becomes
dull and hides away; appears restless;
always on the move and prowling;
whose counterance is sombre and sui
len; walks with head down like bear
Beware Of one who barks at moth
ing when all around is still.
Beware of dog that scrapes inceE-
sanity and tears up things. Look out
for the dog which has become too fond
Of you and is continually trying to lick
your hand and face.
Beware, above all, Of the dog which
has difficulty in swallowing, which ap-
pears to have bone in it's throat, and
one that has wandered from home and
returns covered with dirt, exhausted
and miserable"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02

A LARGE ORDER.-The proprietor of
a certain restaurant had leased" the
reverse side Of his bill Of fare to GER
tain carriage manufacturer, who
prints his advertisements thereon.
The other day a customer in a great
hurry ran into the restaurant, sat at a
table and was handed "a bill wrong
side up by the fiurried waiter.
The customer put on his pince-neZ,
curled his mustache with his left hand
and shouted in voice Of thunder:
Bring me fly, landau, two vic
torias and a dogcart! Got any wheel
barrows?"
The waiter fled.-London Answers.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02

DOUBTFUL ABOUT THE FUTURE.-The
boy was all right, Notwithstanding his
girly curls and a fond mother who
was deathly afraid he was going to
become coarse and vulgar and in other
respects masculine.
One day a gentleman calling at the
house engaged him in conversation.
"Well. my boy" he said after some
time. what are you going to be when
you grow up?"
The boy studied the question a mo-
ment.
Really" he replied at last, Il don't
know. suppose ought to be man,
but from the way mamma is handling
me I'm almost afraid I'm going to be
a lady,"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02

s0 why did you abuse your husband
madam"
II just couldn't help it, judge. He
said something perfectly awful about
me-"
What did he say?"
He said I wasn't any handsomer
than the new 2-cent postage stamps
cleveland Plain Dealer.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-02
PHOTOGRAPHY Y
rs AM Art

A ND 1t takes an artist to be pho
1tographer. One who is not an art
ist doesn't stand much Of chance OF
making a success at photography l
have given years of study to this es-
pecial line and I can say with pride
that my work will compare favOrably
with that of any photographer In this
section.
The best and most perfect photo
graphs are the result Of experience
and not experiments. / do all Of my
developing, retouching and finishing,
thereby obtaining the best possible re-
suits.