The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-06

to ding his money on horses at the Mower county
races went bump over near Wateryille and he
has been tryin to keep out of the clutches of the
out this way every time. Sooner or later the
Jig is up with the rascals that can't keep
within the bounds OF honesty and moderate Twin.
i s'pose that somehow, when they are THROWN
out Iecklessly the money they are pilferin' they
think they are havin' high old time, but after
the high old time comes low old time, and there
amt anything but whiplashes and scorpions in
that. I'm an old fogy, know, but You bet your
boots it s nifty comfortable to go to bed at night
and feel that everything about you is tucked up
honest and square.
Farmer Ben is awise old potato digger.
The man who goes to bed with nothing
Weight1er on his mind than perhaps the
furnace or whether the cat has been put
out is easily worth $780, 900 IN peace of
mind if he hasn't $3.50 in the savings
bank
Ellery Berry Marsh, a farmer in south
ern Wisconsin, went out on the land in
the early days and secured great deal
Of it by purchase, mortgage, tax title and
by various other honest methods. He had
put in his crops regularly and as regu-
larly had reaped a harvest until as time
went on and land became valuable, Uncle
Ellery sold it off for rich yellow gold, and,
never having spent any, had more money
than he knew what to do with. So one
day he said to himself:
Il guess, by mighty, I'll run
up to the college an give 'em 500, 900.
faint much good to me and eddycation is
fine thing in some ways, I allow
The college was just getting on it's feet
and 100000 would have been to it a
benediction. It was a growing institu-
ton with a beefy football team that had
thrashed everything that wore padded
pants for $50 miles around. The day be-
fore Uncle Ellery arrived in town it had
licked its chief rival good and plenty
breaking several collarbones, two legs and
one face in the contest, and everybody
was feeling finer than silk. A big dinner
had been given in commons, in which
the president, the faculty and other Of
fcials and the captain Of the football team
had made neat little speeches of con-
gratula ton, and there was wild cheering
and much jubilation. Uncle Ellery arrived
on the campus as this was going on.
wal. wall said Uncle, as he looked
In at the door of the hall. chewing an
imaginary straw in his excitement over
the higher education, II expect by the
Jubilation one Of the classes has made
a high record in scholarship
uncle Elery was a little puzzled by the
speeches. He turned to a waiter and
asked:
My friend, has somebody made big
scientific discovery or is it great feat
in scholarship they're jubilating about?''
81 0cQOIarSalp hadeS!D replied the JOYOUS
waiter, "our team licked Whitewater yes
terday.''
COX tean?,' asked Uncle Ellery, still
slightly puzzled
Nav, football team!''
wal. by hen!''
Uncle Ellery turned and went out.
Il seen it all in a FASH said Uncle
Ellery afterwards. THAT college didn't
get any of my dough-
Uncle Ellery neglected TO state, how
ever, that that evening he went to the
the-ayter, and the next day Trixie Mac
Donald, who led the chorus, was wearing
neat but gaudy gold watch. and Maisie
Montmorencie, the bankers daughter.
wore a $3.50 flash on her front finger.
In fact. Uncle was SO pleased with the
company and the company liked him so
well that he made several towns with
them and had a jolly good time Uncle
said that they were all his children and
as eshadn.t any of his own he intended
to see that his adopted family had a
| good time. It did.
| EDncle Ellery was free with his money.
| He just leaked gold watches and Jewels
and the company put up at the good
hotels and Uncle Ell set up the cider
and everybody slapped him on the back
and called him Uncle, just as he liked
to have them do.
After he had blown about s25, 600 Uncle
El Went back to the farm, did his fan
blowing and calculated he had saved SIS.
COO by looking into that college matter
himself instead Of writing a. letter.
$50. "A T. z