davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
PAGES Is TO
FABLES.

monopolize him. Just when Hortense would get him
off into Corner 20 tell him that She loved Blue Eyes
Beryl would come along and begin 90 stroke his Hair
and then Clarice would come up and pin NioleJs on
A Selling Platter can keep after one girl ana Gualy
hound her into making Promise, but the Honey
Boy has 90 play a Circuit an the Time. Wilbur
usually had about AZ Names ON his Date-Book.
He never short because when the june Brides
dropped out "a crop. fresh from the Boarding
schools came I'M 20 nm the Vacancies.
Year after Year the Ladies' Idol continued his
heart breaking Career. because NE wished % Doe
Cruel but because he couldn't help being so ALFRED
Enhancing.
There never was a time when he could have put
a Tag ON any Ducinea without putting Blight on
the entire Female Community; so he waited.
In fact he Overdd the Waiting ACT.
About the time that he outgrew his Hair ana be-
10 look little puny around the Eyes. the L1mty-
Tum Elite caught the Athletic Fever. The Real Boy
I'm Sassety the husky Fellow who had played on
College Eleven and who owned suHg Of Polo
Little Wilbur the has-been Nudge found that he
could drift into Drawing Room without causing
the fairtest Ripple.
Now that he was becoming Bald and shelf Worn.
cared 90 use him Pet.
He was lucky IF he got "a few kind Words from
some elderly Patroness As for the Girls who owned
a Million Dollars apiece they couldn't see him with
They would permit him to go ont and call the
Carriage but that was about as far as he could 60
SO he became that pathetic Figure. the played-out
He tried Butt i'm from Force of Habit, but he had
the Pitcher handed 20 him often that at last
he got wise to himself and realized that he belonged
the Top Shelf
He hooked up with a Maiden Lady who looked all
right i'm the Dark, and although Bundle Of Money
came with her, he earned all that he got
MORAL: He who nails the First One seldom
makes a Mistake.
Copyright 1903 by Robert Howard Russell.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
A Spiritualistic Tip from Famous Captain Kidd

'"Thc cappeu come to me night about two
weeks ago. / was sttin by my stove a-poHderiu on
the uncertainties of lfe jest after affecting
satiOn with my dear departed wife. Suddenly heerd
a clatterin behind me- and tumin around / come
face 20 face with TAN, brstly CfXp cuss with
bed quilt arrangement around his waist, jest crowded
out with weapons. Ie had "a thin face kinder red
and pair of long Whppy mustdches. His hat
peaked and pulled down over his eyes, and his pants
white and kinder halt-Ong and hOwin. Seq he
fOldn his across his chest and lOOkin' stern;
90 Do you know me- Dave%
ct If We had skirt on I'd think mebbe sc was the
speerit of my wfes mother J. kinder reachin out
fer facts.
Many have covered before me i'm my time, SEE
the hgger Il am Cappen Kid, the most piratcal
bOodhrsty pirate that walked the quarterback
Il told the cappen that / was kinder surprised TO
meet him. 1 had allus thought that the gates was
kept pretty close shut where he passin the win
ter, but he said ne had a pull with the boss down
there and got out once I'm while TO take breath OF
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19

only by comparatively slow degrees and after their
claims had been repeatedly gone into with the most
minute scrutiny. Nor did their advent give rise to
those cOrybantic exhibitions Of noisy JOY which
marked the celebration of GOrkys triumph The
when VOltaire. at the close of q great and
many-sided career, sat crowned with laurel in his
box at the theatre while the audience cheered them
parallel find I'm the world Of letters TO the
Outburst of enthusiasm which welcomed the spOkes-
man of the barefoot brigade to the temple of Rus
sian art
This warmth of public sentiment. however was
ture was but very slightly interested n at all. It
the prophet who announced the destruction OF
the old order Of things and the establishment of a
who chiefly acclaimed. Political parties or
the writer's who form the nuclei of such, Quarreled
with each other for the possession of him. The anti
nationalists claimed him their own. while the
MarXists quoted long passages from his sketches TO
prove that his ardent sympdthes were with them
Even the conservatives. the cream Of the 'aris-
parvenu to the skies the intellectual leader of the
era. And and all they proclaimed him
warmly. nay, Historically, to be the most genial
writer Of the present generation IT is only fair to
add that the Ostensibe grounds OF these exaggerated
ouogies were calculated to do credit 20 GOrky and
his admirers. Whether. however the qualities which
the latter fancied they had discovered IN their hero
anywhere expressed implied In his writings
is matter ON which opinions Wil differ Hatred Of
society Of the mOneyed cultured md honest work
ing classes. being the bond Of union which links all
prised and amused note that the tender graces
of humanity constitute the quality in his literary
creations which endears him TO a large section Of his
followers"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19

Captain Eidd's treasure is again threatened with
discovery this time through the agency of the super
natural world. David Vaughn "a wldower. who lives
near Sugartown says a FranknviIle On. - special
the New York Tribune. announces that he is the
possessor of a straight tip from the captain himself
uTe.
I'm Twin i'm a shack now David said AN IRA
dun odd jobs fer a likelihood but jest as soon as
kin sit ready and take trip to somewhere I'll come
back here and make some folks feel pretty durn
small"
David is a splritualst of the most enthusiastic
type and says he receives messages from his departed
friends and family daily. His children died I'm in
fancy. but David recently surprised the toWnspeOpe
by exhibiting several interesting portraits of them.
fun grown and attireC In modern garments He point
ed out that the sJylishness of their gdrb put "a new
feature all notions of the future life Dayid's ac-
count of his interview with Captain Kidd is graphic
Tie describes it thus:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
Esquire" on Letters.
lNew York Press)

New York Press)
About half the letters that go through our mails
are addressed to- some. ESQ., Occasionally You viii
find a Mr. at the front end Of the name and the
Esq" at lhe tail end. The squire in the United
States is usually police justice i'm the small country
towns The title originally was bestowed upon the
shield bearer or armor bearer of u knight I'm these
DAYS we use it loosely. lacking it 10 everybody
Just as Hon. is tackled. Any old young scoundre
In state legislature is Hon Esquire may be dlvd-
ed into five classes he who does not belong 90 one OF
them may may not be gentleman. but Is no es-
uuire AccC ding 10 Wharton these are the classes:
Younger soLs OF peers and their eldest sOns eldest
sons of knights their eldest chiefs of ancient
families by prescrptiOn) esquires by creation or Of
nee heralds sergeantsa arms. judges justices
OF the peace the higher naval aud military officers,
doctors n the several faculties and bawstcrs each
Knight OF the Bath appoints two esquires 10 attend
upon him his installation and AT corOnations. no
estate. however large, confers this rank upon us
owner"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19

if do not accept can certainly get raise in sal
airy from my partner"
f. j. Dlons Life and Works of Maxim Gorxy'
is more than a biography of a strange writer-it is a
study OF "A man who won success against most APP
palliug odds.
Maxim Gorky's name" writes Mr.. Dillon, "vas
filed on the bead-Tol of fame long before his
tered writings had been collected and given 20 the
world i'm the form OF n book. People paid high prices
for the back numbers the obscure country papers
and voluminous reviews I'm which they were first
brought out Students ZealOusly copied those which
were difficult Of access had them autographed crcu-
lated and read In private circles. The new talent
many spoke devOuty of the immortal genius-was
the theme of eager conversation from ST. Petersburg
TO Odessa. His creations warmly discussed. his
art cassed with that of Tolstoy and DOstoehsly his
influence welcomed asa purifying breath moving
over the face of the stagnant waters and giving
shape color and beauty to chaos OVatiOns were Of
fered TO the late tramp and the public assembled to
hear extracts read from his writings critics covered
scores of pages with lesthetca rhapsodies and exc
getical comments n the style of Hemsterhuysius and
an Russia seethed with excitement feverish as
that of devout Thibetans when they have discovered
q Dalai Llama
"sellom has a reputation been made so rapidly in
the world Of letters Writers like Gogol Turghenief
Tolstoy had indeed risen high i'm public esteem. but
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
He GOtUp.

There is a keen knowledge of human nature IN the
following biz of fun from the Lewiston Journal nut
no more than might be expected from down east
tavern keeper who has had long experience WIN
autumnal spOrtsmen Of whom many are called, DuI
few get up 800.
A mighty hunter from Boston recently put up
at quaint little Maine hosiery and left word IN ile
office that ne wished De called at 430 clock ln inc
morning Sharp al that time the next morning came
"a laundering rap at his door.
"Au righy TN be down in a minute called a.
muIied voice from under the quilts.
you get up here now and sign this receipt
commanded Uncle Cy.
Receipt What receipt" demanded a very wide
awake voice and the bed squeaked loudly.
wal" grunted Uncle Cy, 81 don't calkerate 10
have We humping down to the office al o'clock de-
carng that We amt been called
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
Reed's Briaht OffIce Boy.
CNew York Mail and Expressly

New York Mail and EXpress)
The late Thomas Bracket Reed was fond of telling
the following story regarding the bright little office
boy whom he kept in ms employ ia Washington. and
for whom he proThcsied a brilliant financial career;
A gentleman calling ON Mr. Eeed one day. while
waiting in the reception room. was attracted by the
manner of the small attendant and started a random
conversation.
And now much Go you earn week my boy
he inquired
Fifty dollars said the youngstey. with avidity
Being shown into the senator's private office just
then the visitors surprise found vent in words
Mighty bright hoy YOU have there Mp. Reed 10
be getting $50 a week" be remarked.
Fifty nothing said Mr.. Reed Tho gets $3.50"
But he told me just now you were giving him
$50 week. persisted the gentleman.
Nonsense" said Nr Reed. and touched The bell.
Billy ne said did YOU tell this gentleman i was
paying you $50 a week.
no, sir.
you didn't? Well what did you say2v
Il said earned it, was the prompt and stout
rejOindeT.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
British Red Tape.

country clergyman sends me a curiosity of red
tape for which Queen Anne's bounty is responsible
or rather. responsible for the document Is some
years old The bounty office has 10 pay this gentle
man a shilling year account of uthe which has
been redeemed. 10 RENTS the money half yearly by
post I'm the shape of warrant drawn oa Messrs.
COutts bearing a penny stamp. and they accordingly
deduct ID for each remittance that each of these
warrants Is made for the of 4d- gather thar
the recipient objected this deduction. postal
order could be him annually cost of 1iad-
AS each remittance of al would also cost him penny
to send 1t either 10 Messrs. COuts his bankers
] can sympathize with his objection However. on
the strength of his objection the Office has for many
years ceased TO remit MIN any money at ALL III is "A
comfort 20 know that Queen Aune's bounty Office is
not likely TO exist much longer
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
Misplaced Sympathy.


"Out west few years ago. while jourueylng around
with friend Of mine. overheard conversation which
goes 90 show that sympathy is often misplaced said
the rovns man. "and the moral IS by any
bad The quick way m which the man turned on
his friends who bad Offered him abundance OF SYM
pathy. so far as sympathy Dee extended by mere
words. very amusing and showed that the fellow
quick-wted and unusually bright despite The
that De had fallen "a rather rough road.
The young had been time.
re had there with the idea that he could
win "a fortune. but instead Of finding The way
"a smooth t rather rough rocky,
marred by thorus prick the feet pitfalls and an that
kind OF thing. But iu plain, mpceuc language he
down the heel and bagging the knee I'm order
tn make a living hc mad been forced 90 become PIE
merchant small scale He in this business
when found him. and had a small movable stand
abe corner of two streets in "a Well known mining
town. NY friend recognized him at glance and rushed
greet him The fellow seemed be just "a little
embarrassed and my friend thought IL would be the
proper thing 90 do % offer "a little sympathy
sorry TO YOU situated you old fellow
and in this business said friends teelngly-
D. your sympathy Buy a pie. the quick
relOndcr of the vcnder and in a few moments had
left him shrekng out his 60 men who passed that
lat last be convinced my friend that there
moments n "a mans life when the sympathy OF the
mouth. matter how how lerveut the words
the requirements of the and that the
real and only way TO offer help IN such instances TO
buy pie
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19

IF the quarters cost only T. and 10 cents why,
/ can readily sell them again at par can not?'
Certainly" replied Barnun, without change of
cOuntenance but if you pay - and I3 cents-that is
twelve plus t:irteen-whercin lies the profile?
on another occasion Barnum notified the dealer
from whom he bought large amount of supplies that
half the pepper he sent him peas The dealer In
dignantly denied the charge and quite warm
respondenCe followed it being finally ended by Bar
mum. who inquired whether half the letters in the
word pepper not ps
In his fine mansion at Bridgeport q beauti-
fully furnished apartment which called the Cary
Room il being for the poetessss. Alice
and Phoebe Cary, whenever they visited Bridgeport
Barnum and bis family very fond OF those gift
cd writers, an who knew them.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
How Barnum Fooled the Universalist Preachers

alice was the more thoughtful" said he while
Phoebe always bubbling over with good spirits
and wiz. ] never knew brighter woman one day
I was taking her and some friends through my mu-
scum At the head of the stairs the cage contain
ing The Happy Family. which included owls. cats,
mice seTpents and other creatures generally mortal
enemies. but an living I'm perfect harmony. mainly
because kept them stuffed with food that they
had no temptation To- prey upon one another The
cage stood directly the head of the stairs and just
reached the top big serpent stretched his head
toward Phoebe. Forgetting the glass thickness that
separated them. she startled that she ut
tered scream, and would have fallen backward down
the steps had / nor caught her Looking up 10 me
she said: Thank you. Dir. Banum but remember
that I am not the frs woman that the serpent has
caused to fall
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
Phnadelphia saturday Evening Post)

philadelphia Saturday Evening Post)
AT a meeting of Universalist cergymen, to which
denomination Banm belonged ne was called upon
FOR few remarks. He was always ready and at the
conclusion he stated with an seriousness that had
just received reliable information that at the United
States mint IN Philadelphia brand-neW quarter dollars
could be bought for short time at D. and l3 cents
apiece. He that his statement had caused SEN
sation. and the close of the meeting reverend old
gentleman called him aside and said
Mr.. Barnum. L am opposed 90 an forms OF specu-
lation but ] have been thinking that IL can nur-
chase those quarter dollars for the price you name /
might make an honest penny. DO you see anything
wrong in liz"
Nothing at an; but tell me how you expect to
make "a profit
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19

going 10 Fire. He never slde-stepped chance to
one of his prize Speciaties was 10 play sympa-
thetic Companion TO the Woman whose Husband be-
longs 10 Club. He cultivated the antique Hens who
make the Invitation Lists, and that Is why Wilbur
usually led the German and distributed the FayOurs
when the Smart Set pulled Off "a Cotlion
Although he Salary, he somehow con-
trived to hold his End. Fortunately his Board did
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
I'd LOver HOw &c Lady Ker BIew up in Tie streteh

not cost him anything and he squared all Of his So
ciety Obligations by making Party Calls, instead of
sending American Beauties
Inasmuch an of the real Tessies were more or
less cray about Wilbur, IT seemed lead pipe Ger
tainty that he would land Heress who would take
him To Palm Beach "A Wedding Tour and then pas
his Tailor Bills for an time However many were
on his Trail that not one of them had a chance to
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
MODERN

20 tie up with any one of the Bunch and make her
his Steady because he knew that the others would
pine away OF else renounce the World and enter a
Convent.
One Reason why Wilbur had such "a strong pull
with the Buds that he never permitted his Work
to interfere with his Social Duties. They could get
him the Phone al any time and book him FOR any
kind of stunt from a Luncheon 10 Golf Tourney
He kept his Evening Clothes at the Office and ne
could respond 90 a Dinner Invitation Ike a Fireman
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
lie Knew II All.

Chicago NeWs)
Little WIlie-Say pa did solomon know more
than anybody that ever lived?
Pale did. my son-with the exception Of your
1S-yeaF-Old brother George
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19
An Apt Scholar.

(PuCk)
Mike teaching Pat poker)-Wen what hov yez
got?
Pat-Four trowels and black shamrock.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-04-19

if do not accept can certainly get raise in sal
airy from my partner"
Arizona republican., 1903-11-23
HUMBERT JURORS TALK.
Hold There Is Ground to Suspect Com
 Plicity of Politicians.

Paris. Nov. 22.-H. Kieken, an archi- tect. and Luigi Loir, a well-known ar tist. who were prominent members of the jury which returned a verdict of guilty against the Humberts on their triad for fraud. in interviews had with them declares that the papers submit ted during the trial fully justify an in vestigation into the possible complicity of certain politicians in the case, and also insist that the authorities were per fectly aware of the Humberts' wherea- bouts in Madrid during the latter's stay there, but were unwilling to arrest them until practically forced to do SO.
 The removal of Mime. Therese Hum bert to Rennas and of Frederic Hum- bert to ThOuars today was not attended by any incident of note. The transfer of the prisoners ends the regime of slight favors which have been granted to them at the Fresnes prison, and henceforth they will both wear the con- vict dress.
Arizona republican., 1903-11-23
KANSAS CITY MARKETS
The Volume of Receipts and Prices
 Last Week.

Kansas City, Mo, Nov. 22.-receipts last week included 5S,95S cattle and 1902 calves a Kansas City, as against G2,317 cattle and 6.937 the same week last year. Fat Western steers sold bet ter the first of the week than close of the previous week, and did not change much during the week. Buyers neg lected the best kinds of long fed na- lives and directed their attention in the steer line to the cheaper kinds. rang ing in price from $50 to Sf.5O. Brand ed cows sold higher all week, but did not change much in price. Demand fell off somewhat. lower prices on the best fat steers frightening off some of the prospective buyers. Movement to country was 90 cars short of previous week, though supply was about the same. Thursday and Friday several strings of stale thin Westerns were sold as csnners al about COW prices.
 Most sales of westerns were below $3.5O and many sales were under $500. The run yesterday was 1000 and the mar ket lower on fat steers, slow on stock CTS and feeders, and strong to 10 cents ] higher on cows. the latter active
 The sheep run amounted to 43.361 last week, half or more of which arrived ! Monday. All kinds of fat sheep and | lambs sold 20 to 30 cents higher partic- ulariy western yearling wethers. Feed | ing grades were about steady all week
 Majority cf sheep and lambs last week
 were feeders, but they were promptly taken and went to many points, one ] load of New Mexico lambs going tc Vincennes, Ind, one to Troy, Ohio, and
 one to Seneca, New York. The run yesterday was light at 5000 head. and
 the market strong to 10 cents higher although Chicago reports 10 to 15 cents
 lower. Utah yearlings, 92fb, brought
 S3.75, New Mexico yearlings $3S5, and
 fat ewes $2.90 yesterday. No good wes-
 tern lambs are in but they are wortt
 $5.95. Feeding wethers bring S3.OO to $3nt
 lambs s3.50 to S3.S5. although one bunch
 of Utah feeding lambs sold at $4.0O last
 week.
Arizona republican., 1903-11-23
OFFERS FOR MEXICAN LINE.
Maryland Trust Go. Doesn't Accept
 Proffers for Vera Cruz & Pacific.

Baltimore, Nov. 32.--There is no proposition between the Maryland Trust Go. interests for the purchase of the interest of that institution in the Vera Cruz & Pacific that will be accepted. Offers for the railroad have been made to the receiver and committee of directors of the trust company. but these were considered inadequate. Those interested in the company are convinced that the Mex ican road. as the shortest line from ocean to ocean, presents q good prop osition and that there is no special hurry in accepting d proposition for the property when a more ad- VantageoUs offer might be made late".
 The trust company is understood to have about S6,OOO,0OO involved with the Mexican railroad which under ordinary circumstances. it is believed. would not have been at all difficult to recover. The recent depression in the financial world has had a deterrent effect upon all negotiations.
Arizona republican., 1903-11-23
MGR. FALCONIC AT ALBANY.
Elaborate Ceremonies Were Held at the
 Catholic Cathedral.

Albany. N. Y, Nov. 22.-One of the most elaborate ceremonies in the his tory of the Catholic church of Albany took place today, when the most Rev. Diomede Falconio. apostolic delegate of the Catholic Church of the United States, paid his first official visit to the city and celebrated pontifical mass at the Catholic cathedral of the Immacu- late Conception. The occasion brought thousands of both Catholics and Pro- testants for many miles around. and the streets surrounding the church were packed with people. The sermon was preached by Bishop Burke, of All bany. The church was again crowded this evening when Archbishop FalconiC celebrated pontifical vespers. Mgr Falconio will return to Washington Tuesday.