The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1903-05-24
In Lighter Vein.
New York Times.)

not renowned as a story teller. But he
has told them, and this one was the
bright part of a conversation In the lobby
of the Garden just before the red wagons
started on their way for the first stand
out of New York.
II remember when we brought the
white elephant to this country" said Mr.
Bailey, that we invited representatives
from every paper in the city to view the
curiosity before the ship landed. They
were brought down on tug, taken on
board, and then George Starr, who was
in charge of this latest discovery, took
the party below decks to see this new
white elephant. A dinner in the cabin
followed, at which there were numerous
speeches. Mr. Barnum presided In the
midst of the speechmaking young man
arose and said:
" Mr.. Barnum, 1 don't think that ele-
plant is very white.
mr. Barnum looked at him a moment
and said:
My boy, when / was a very young
man 1 was fond of going to sociables and
parties. On one occasion l was sitting
near the door when my attention was
called to very pretty young woman who
had just entered. Some one remarked
hat she had an extraordinary complexion
and unwisely said l did not think it was
real. She overheard the remark and as
she passed me said:
(" God made those cheeks!'"
And now, gentlemen, God made that
white elephant, but / assure you had he
been made by Mr.. Bailey and myself he
would be as white as the driven snow F."
he IF ole
longer questioned"
AS the various members of the Board
of Estimate and Apportionment were as
sembling for the last meeting before
Mayor Low went away on his vacation
last week, the Mayor asked Controller
Grout this question:
"If man has an income of twenty
million dollars a year and gives away
seven millions year, how long viii it
take him to dispose of his entire for
tune?'
The Controller, with an amused express
sion on his face, replied that it would
take forever and the day after
THAT is the way I figure it. too said
the Mayor, 'but I wanted the confrma-
lion of the chief 'fgurer' of the city be-
fore expressing an opinion on the sub
iect''
There was a pause in the conversation,
as the others waited for the Mayor to
continue. He said nothing. Finally the
Controller asked Mayor Low what he
wanted the opinion for.
well, have been trying to figure out
how long Andrew Carnegie expects to
live before he arrives at that delectable
situation in which he can depart this life
without disgrace replied the Mayor with
4 merry twinkle in his eye
County Judge Joseph B. Eggleston, of
Cortland, was recently telling stories of
Chief Judge Alton B. Parker, of the
Court OF Appeals. Judge Eggleston had
related how his distinguished schoolmate
had cut his name in the desks and walls
Of the old country schoolhouse and finally
passed on to memory of one snowy day
| when young Parker was trudging along
the narrow path between drifts and met
the team of grabbed superannuated
Methodist clergyman who consistently re-
fused to turn out for those who Jared on
foot Parker walked up to the horses
head, seized the bride, and, before the
parson recovered from his surprise. led
the team into a snowdrift and tied the
horse securely by the reins to a fence.
"And that, said Judge Eggleston. was
the first time that Judge Parker laid down
the judicial principle that the pedestrian
has the right of way"
F. L. Colver, President Of Frank Les
lies Popular Monthly Publishing Compa-
ny. has mechanical playing attachment
for the piano at his suburban home in
Tcnafly. On recent evening while Mr..
Glover was entertaining some friends, it
so happened that the attachment did not
operate properly, something being wrong
with the mechanism.
what remarkable devices these new
mechanical attachments are, anyway, =
remarked one of the guests. II declare,
they seem to be almost human!'
eyes, responded Mr.. Colver, as he
continued to tinker with the attachment,
''you see, this one even has to be coaxed
! to play!"