The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1903-04-10
carlton, Kans.
Fables by Tom McNeal.

G.. SCHMOKER.

who had in his time written several
books which were so profound that no.
body understood them except the pro-
fessor himself. 1t was really hard to
tell without the aid of lightning cal
culator how much this professor knew.
But there came a time when the SCI
enlist was so worn down with his Ia
bors that he felt that he must get out
and take rest and recreation. SO he
purchased a little farm out far from
The busy hum of the city and when he
could get away from the duties of his
position which paid him 10000 per
year, he went out to his farm. AS he
hied him away to his country place
the scientist communed with himself,
saying: Now l will not only get a rest
myself, but incidentally / will scatter
some information among those ignor-
ant and simple minded people, Twill
really be a great favor to them to have
man of culture and information
among them" But after the profess
or had been on his farm couple OF
weeks one of his rural neIghbors wrote
to a friend as follows:
"Dear Bill: You had ought to be
Here this summer. You W0ld latf tit
to bust. There is An old bald-heded
Fool frum the city cnm out here and
Bot the Tomking place jinn mine,
| think mebby he is sufferin' frum the
effects NV a sunstroke ur sumthin'. AT
any rate he don't seem to be right IN
the upper story If it isn't the effect
NV disease then he is certainly the
dumdest natural born idiot eyer seen.
Talk about not KNOWN enough to cum
ia out Nv the rain! He wouldn't know
enough to keep frum layin down to
sleep on a railroad track. He actual
| ly don't know the breast strap Nv a
harness frum crupper and he don't
know how to back boss into the
shafts after it is harnessed. He GALES
himself professor and hes been tell
in round here that he teaches In some
big college ur university an gifts big
salary fur dom it. l suppose its jest
some crazy notion he's got in his head.
There sure amt no college ur uniyer
sity that would hire a-old fool like
him. He is surely plum curiosity
and the latin stock NY the hull neigh
borhood. You ought TO be here to
take look at the critter. Yours as
ever, jim"
Moral: There is no fixed standard OF
intelligence. A man may be ace high
in certain places and not count for a
two spot in others.
A bullfrog sitting on log In pool
was giving utterance to a series OF
deep bass notes when mule that had
been grazing in the neighboring field
came over and began to object, saying
that the sound made by the bullfrog
disturbed his nerves and that he want
ed it stopped at once.
"Was it your voice that heard a
few minutes ago?' asked the frog. at
was" said the mule swelling up with
pride, for he was particularly stuck on
his own voice and supposed that the
frog had been charmed. "Well," said
the frog, "if l had voice like yours
1 would put in my time figuring on
how could get somebody to take it
off my hands instead of going about
criticising the vocal accomplishments
of my neighbors.
Moral: The people who criticise
most could find plenty of faults of
their own to correct to keep them
busy If they only realized 1t.
A boy was taken to dentist to have
tooth pulled. The boy was filled
with dread, but the dentist, who was
a smooth man in the matter of talk,
assured the lad that he would not
hurt him. He finally overcame the
boys fears and got him down in the
chair. When he had the forceps fast
ened on the tooth and commenced to
pull, the boy tried to yell, but it was
TOO late then and the tooth was yank-
ell out. The boy looked at the dentist
aud then at the tooth, spit the blood
out of his mouth and walked out
without saying word. That even
ing he said to his mother who was
giving him instructions In spiritual
matters, Mother, didn't you say that
no liar could enter the kingdom of
heaven?"
II think 1 did, my son, but why do
you ask?"
swell, 1 wuz just a-thinkin' that IL
you're right that there dentist is
booked fur hell all right, all right"
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