The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-09-27
THE GENIAL IDIOT
Concerning the Four Hundred.
BY JOHN KENDRIcK. BANGS.
Copyright, 1903, by John Russell Davidson

| 1sSS uluner. one, two, or three
liedus put together could never have
SOhceINeo such a one as he. It re-
qulred four hundred to produce the
man we have-and by the way. If Tom
my Wristlets is not an achievement
MT BIB, I'd like to know what is.
Rome with all her glory never dream
eo or Tommy Wristlets: Greece in her
Pdlhlest hour had nothing like him.
lou can search from one end of the
Parthenon frieze to the other. Wherein
is depicted the perfect flavor of Gre
cram society and no Tommy WHISTLES
raises his head from the line to defy
ms modern prototype. Tommy is a
| SIeation OF our own time, with his
| bangles, and his monkeys, and his NOR
uant WIT, and yet you say the 400 have
| achieved nothing"
oh WELL if you consider him an
achleVement-" began the Biblionan-
| lac. -
he is more" cried the Idiot. He
is a yeritable triumph Philosophers
IN all ages have claimed that there
was nothing new under the sun: it has
oeen proclaimed from the house tops
and from the cellers, and yet in face
OF the dlctum of the sum total of hu-
man experience the 400 get their heads
together and, 10, as Minerva from the
mead of Jupiter, there steps forth
| Tommy WHISTLES. the like of whom
the Garden of Eden the Ark, the Sun,
Moon and Stars alike contained none.
So much for the achievement of the
400 With this one exhibit constantly
| pefore our eyes in the Sunday news
! papers you cannot longer put the 400
down among~the non-producers.
Let's grant your proposition-Ill
| admit they've produced Tommy Wrist
: lets and let 'em have all the glory
that is coming to them on that ac-
count. III grant, also. that by buying
pictures they have an influence upon
art, Also" continued the Bibliomanic.
Their cottages and town houses are
doubtless lined with oil painting in lay
ers, though as for producing painters
I've yet to hear of member of the
400 who was a successful painter"
Guess you don't read the papers,"
said the Idiot Some of the greatest
painters of the age are in the 400
There's Reggie Goldrox, and Jack
Stocksandponds and Billie Murrayhill,
and Eddie Boodleton, and Harry Motor
car, and"
In heavens name" cried the Biblio-
manic. What do those frivolous young
men paint?"
Towns" said the Idiot. solemnlv
Has Meissonnier painted detached por-
tions of Paris? Reggie Goldrox has
pdlHl6Q every SQudiG IOOL VI IL. has
Millais or Burne Jones painted por-
lions of London? Show me an inch
of that precious hamlet that has es-
capped the brush of Jacob Stockand-
bonds. So have they all painted New
York, Boston, Washington, and Pitts
burg and there has been no stint In
color, either. They have laid it on
thick and at the present day consti-
tute a school of their own"
THEY'RE not much in water colors."
sneered the Bibliomaniac.
mo, but their drawing is beyond
cavil." said the Idiot.
You have me there" said the Bib
liomaniac, shaking his head perplexed-
ly. What do they draw, checks?"
Mo- said the Idiot. Cakes"
81 suppose you can argue with equal
force as to the influence of the 400 on
education" put in Mr.. Brief. since the
Bibliomaniac had taken refuge from
the fray in coffee and silence.
Certainly, educationally they are
a power" replied the idiot. ct is a
liberal education in manners just to
watch EN-. Just because you know
Latin and Greek and mathematics and
can box the compass doesn't make of
you the only educated person in the
world. You might pass q perfect ex-
animation in Ancient History and
funk like an ignoramus on Don't. I'll
wager you now you don't know wheth-
er you should wear a mauve silk four
in-hand or a yellow sailors knot at a
5 O'clock tea. It you were invited
to attend morning musicale at Mrs.
Won Boobies tomorrow you wouldn't
known whether to wear a pink shirt
and a blue tie with a frock coat or to
go more simply clad in a green cuta-
way, lavender trousers and tan colored
shoes, and as for shaking hands I'll
bet you can't tell me off-hand how it's
done in polite society to-day. yet one
of the slightest Of these Willieboys
that you profess to despise so deeply
does all these things correctly and,
what is more. by instinct"
Il wouldn't dress the way they do
for farm" said the Bibliomaniac.
They wouldn't either,'' said the ID
lot. For a farm they'd dress in q
farm costume, for it is a part of their
sartorial creed to be always correctly
dressed. But you see, Mr.. Brief, while
you undoubtedly know a great many
things that the 4Oc don't know, they
on the other hand know a great many
things that you don't, and what is
more. their little minds are constantly
as busy as bees getting up new things
which shall be de rignueuer. They are
constantly adding to the sum of hui
man knowledge along lines of ETH
quette. Are you doing as much in
your profession
Mr.. Brief had to confess that he
wasn't, when the Poet joined in.
"They don't do much for letters"
he said.
"Oh, 1 don't know said the Idiot.
They let few favored authors into
their circle, and you know as we'll as
1 do that the Horse Show is never
considered a success without Thomas
Darlington Sniffon, the author of I'm
pressions of the Erie Canal and Lost
in Gowanus Bay ir one of the boxes.
Two years ago, when Sniffon was in
South Africa as a war correspondent
they even talked Of postponing it I'M
til he returned"
THAT may be-" said the Poet. But
they don't inspire anything in litera-
ture, do they?"
That's not their fault" said the Id
lot IT'S the fault of the literary fell
lows. If a time was ever ripe for
Thackeray and a subject ready to the
pen of such a man this is the time and