The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1903-02-22
THE ALKALI EYE MAN

The man on the Bugtussle Dopestick has v,,..
us circular letter in which he has told !, \.
he thinks it would be a JOY forever if ". IA
organize a Anti-Everything Press associa,ior =.
he has done us the ruther doubtful boro, !,
askin' us to be charter member of the orv,o
ton.
An furthermore he has took It for granted NJ.
his springin of the idee Of organizin' such !,
association is equivalent to its bein' orr,pi,.d
he has gone right ahead an called m.e,inE
OF the association to be held in Bustus,l, n
May; an has put us down fer paper on How
l Collect Subscriptions
We nave been so easy on this tadpole from A.
tother end of Nowhere-that-we've -heard.of m,
he don't seem to reckernize the fact that NJ
have it in us to balk at his dilapdated dwelling,
We don't know his pedigree, but we've 20, Y
pretty straight hunch that he's cross betw,,a
a hos5thief and Digger iniun; he snuck into
Bugstussle one night when Bugtusse wasn't look.
in, with half shirttail full OF worn out 10.
an a armful o patent insides, an by the tin.
the vigalantes got onto the fact that he was there.
he had flung the Dopestick to the breeze an Ssss
entrenched behind the freedom o the press
sence that time his crimes agin' us an the Ey..
have been many an lowdown an while we and
always been able ter trace EN- direct to hin Va
have knowed pretty well who done the thiHss
that have put our lives into jeopardy,
First thing he done was to come over here cnsl
ime when we was attendin something soneI
where an borrow every inch Of boierpah gt.
had in the shop; fresh boiler plate, boiler plasI
that we hadn't used moren six months an hsl
was still perfectly leghle to the naked an on
assisted eye. Then another time he snuck 10 al
] . Wa aan
PEELED ter print the paper in dialect ever sinaI
Then one time some one poured or subserpaNl
-g full o. aqua FORTS as result of which tvnl
/ time we got het Up for month the sweat burrsf
or clothes off an evry time we bloSed cn1
nose we set fire to our sanctum. Then be poartd
our Jug full o. liquid glue an whcn we woke "
thc mex morning our whjskers was irozc tsa
4. he side of cur bunk IAN they're there yet-si
can show 'em), an We had to breathe taEoagl
our ears till we could git our mouth priced cpfI
Then someone poured a lot o keeley cusseuna1
into orr receptacle fer subscriptions an II cong
SO uelr to curin' us that it turned our lvei ~
am made us desperate ey'ry time we looked
barI stave. Then another time just as We W
gittin ready TO 60 of to a anti-prohioihon w
vention some reptile stole Verb Sapps mo.la
in-law's nightie that we'd been IN the nsOA Y
borrowin' an as a result we had Ter sey s' u
from the convention an Hill county wen, :.
prohibition And now this varmint' siI'a y
hossthief an damned by all creation wen.
ter be a charter member Of an organtaUva K
which he is the unanimously seii-eiee'ea =
dent. In other words, we're ter De inc "s
Of his proposition and give him the pew vs.,s.,
wigglin' us whenever he feels funny 1Iss
more his lowdown cayote cunnin Is Snow now. "A
paper he wants us ter read How Iole' 49,.
. scriptions." They don't seem to DC ~ ~
too sacred fer his pryin' eyes or elonsa .s.,,
We wantcr say this much, that wen 'g p,..,n,.
subscription ter the Eye by euttin ue ~ h N
popestick of'n our exchange hst an ."s9,
amt effective Wen collect it WIN a ' =. n
full O. soapsuds This is our last wo'u ,..,t,
slider him blot on our scutcheon u ns;,5,
the Maker. an altogether beneath inc III ,.rs
, O. our sex Ter him our doors sns Al d
barred, our jug shall remain eo,N 4, ,ont,nl
features, such as we have, be turneo Z =. 4 ii
We have subscribers in Bugtusse, wv NJ, Aos
don't move to Alkali we shall retunu XIII but
, an stop their Eye Bugtussle ain TI," e1ct
, sloppv place in the prairie nohow, ne Kim MI h
the Dopcstick can find US in wen nv lime
y way; or wen come clear across '''
wants TO see us