The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-12-27
GOOZENHElMER'S
INTERVIEW With lD0WIE.

Ven Alexander vowie telegrammed me
dot he vos ln6der th1soes OF a Saint Vitas
financial vertigo l replied ad him dot
i vos pudding mein PROPERTY into mein
vlfes handts und would be reaty to need
him fearlessly vidn a few days.
N Ven I arrivaled at Zion dare vos elgh-
deem reporters und ninety-seven chour-s
nal'sts busy ''wrighdng up. not der blace
kowefer, bud themselves, after dey vos
ruthlessly tumbled like tenpins into q
guard house.
.s1,Gutten morgen und ich-dienl Alex
gander,''s1 set ven handled meinself to
his presence. gi
"Ah, GOOGLE. he set. "peace be unto
thee"
multiplication table undo thee: but told
me, = 81 continuationed,s who efer hat
been SO hadeful as to. lef der door uf
your banking house g6open und allow
ance such draft to hand your anan-
cials such frost-bltingness?
&"Gooz!e.''3 he set, going through his
whole vocabulary to hnd out a word dot
fitted der crime, and to vich ] an,
pledged nefer5to udder. II ecollectlon U.s.,
dot desc 49, pots cannot pud Vowie der
Destroyer Into der slough;: am bedding
your life dot dey cannot. Is
S"Doan,d you links. : Il L set, dot II you
could ged ,couble Ut strong canal
-
cdness un thus stems der tide; remem-
brance people say you vos der sign vi
der dimes und der sign n axes you look
like dis So IF. sfi-,.e 81. 5.si \.
2"Vot beople set vos Snuttings1 to me-"
he set picking anudder word from MS MS
yoca bularys vich I am oleogeo 10 So
"Yos your bank insolvent or bank
ruptcy?" ! inqusitioned
"Ah! dare i'd Is. dare Is dare nckleness
Of human nature, he set. To-day We
receife $4,000 In checks. Goot, set !;
y"gr men peoples anudder herring, put
attention yourself tomorrow. All! to-
morrow dose checks mind you. come
known blastered all ofers dem. Now,
however can business be dit nit such
business like dot, checks drawn to-day
and withdrawn tomorrow, o-day dey
5iuff me. tomorrow dey5 gll me an apo
plexy ny dare lggleness. ,
Suttenly a reporter dot hat crawled
through de cracks up der clapboards vos
now In our midst.
."Look YOU darel Now look you dare
at dot stupid dog !" exclnmntioned VoWle,
nit der angers sweeping oter MS IraHle
like Wind cloud. !.
Just den he reached for der dyna a,,l
yIch he hurled at der chournallst, Pieces
be nit you" he cried, and der chouTna!-
list hat reasons to prove ID.
'@.Doan.d you drinks T. exclamationed =:
.dot a first-clas wood turner couid pc
engaged to turn things to your advan-
tnge. or perhaps to relieve der situa-
tim Yo,, allowance your women TO wear
dem dare corsets; surely dis YOU'D elve
dem tangible II not visible means VI
suhort." l5f -, 4 :,
"such suggestion Is an absurdness to
me- set vowie Wit his vlskors stano.1s
oud to be counted,
: 10 r Geo.
nonios make I'D incumbent on cry
body to hat a care about der waist
.Haf a care aboud der waste und So
clety," roared Vowie, turning to MS vo-
cabuiary anuiera dimes for a. vora.
"I.ook around und aboud you !. y ,s aas tIas
untrammcled? Do you smell der mated
tobacco fumes making odor pots VI mem
men? Neferl Do you see any VI mem
men bouncing dare lntellects ofer DER
Sidewalks ad midnight und turning dare
latches nit a hat rim? Not on your
mega tive! Do you SEQ any tWo-penny
around ad der feet OF mein vimln IN OK
change for million ind der securities
ufNa railroad? Meier. Goozle,, Meier
Van Yowie excused himself TO mem
presence to interview man VOL cams
from New York In der interests Ut
nawsnaper chournal, dere yos q reborda
ike Won earthquake needing anudder und
making some nghtlngs aboud % una
fled from der blaze.
Svell, veil, vot a pldy hat for desc
beoples,"3I set as I walked toward der
e a'tYour name und business" set q man.
nit a swift brow and contracting eye,
'are you uf der fa1thy
MAKE yourself lnslgnihcant,",, set,
making madness und spreading ID
aboud me,