Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1903-04-03

letia sat the bearded lady; the an
nouncer stated that this woman was
born with full set OF whiskers, and
that she had tried to get over the
habit Of wearing them, but with poor
success, and that she had likewise
tried TO get married, but after her
sultors had stroked those whiskers a
few times they never came back
again" The bearded-l lady wore a silk
dress and patent-leather slippers, a
full set of whiskers of a rich golden
color and large, hooked nose. She
$50 the fellow said) was of Hebrew ex-
traction of Russian descent, from the
Isles of Sicily, where they raise and
sell billy-goats with long silken whis-
kers. Next was the snake-charmer
She was woman about 45 years old,
| should judge, and fear she could
never charm the human family, no
matter what she could do with the
snake tribe. l began to think of 60.
ing out and looking up a new show
when a man came to me, and asked
if | was engaged in any business in
New York. | informed him | was not.
He said he would give me seven dol
lars week to sit on platform in
that building and become museum
freak. He asked me if had a record
to 60 with my long hair. | informed
him had, but it was pretty bad. He
seemed greatly interested, but would
not 60 into the past. He said they
would make a record, if | would accept
the position, 81 and found per week.
was getting short OF money, and
in consequence closed the deal, and
became a museum freak. agreed to
keep my hair hid under big hat all
the time, save when | was on extibi-
ton. l was to sit on the platform
from to III o'clock every night, ex-
cept Sunday. This last clause was to
give me chance to attend the Sunday
church services. The next day, as |
came up the street near the museum,
l saw quite crowd around big can
vas. There l was in giant form, hold
ing a knife in one hand and gun in
the other; l was wading in blood up
to my knees, and all around lay piles
OF dead Indians and great staring let
ters informed the public that Gore
gon Frank" the great boy scout and
Indian-killer, had been engaged at a
salary of $500 per week to exhibit in
the Bowery museum, and that as the
boy scout OF the West | had an un-
paralleled record. l began to swell;
felt like l was the same party as above
described. That evening the Circas.
sian girl combed my hair and then
turned me over to the manager. He
took me into the dressing room and
had me put on a pretty buck-skin suit
and moccasins; he had taken my meas
ure the night before and had the suit
made that day. l got on the plat
form. The crowd came in; l began
to get scared. l had big knife in
belt and couple OF pistols and some
borse-tails, which were said to be In
dian -scalps. The announcer came up,
raised his hand and addressed the
crowd" This way ladies and gentle
men," he shouted; This is Oregon
Frank, the great boy scout, who alone
and unaided captured Sitting Bull and
Whoopum-up Charley; he also killed
and scalped eight Indians who had
surrounded an emigrant train and
were preparing to attack the helpless
women and children. The boy scout
came to their rescue and killed eight
Indians and badly wounded sixteen
Others" q began TO be proud of the
announcer, he was such magnificent
liar). He also stated that / had
killed hundreds of buffAlos. 1t caused
me to recall my first buffalo hunt. 1t
was back in Olympia, some years be.
fore. took an old musket and went
out one morning on a Buffalo hunt,
and not finding any l saw black
calf in pen near Mr.. Horeinreim.
ers' house. (Mr. Horeinreimers was
an Irishman). l crawled up and
slanted the old musket on the fence
and cut loose and Mr.. Horeinreimers'
calf skated into the great beyond.
Then q man took me before Judge
Elder. The Judge kindly asked me if
| had not killed the calf in self-de-
tense. told the white haired Judge
that shot him in the rear as he was
getting over the fence. / was then
conducted to (well never mind where)
that is another story.
l began to like the museum bust
ness, after a few days; l fouud out
that the bearded lady's whiskers were
OF the unreal kind and that Carletia
had never been nearer the Garden OF
Eden than Jersey City is near Ho-
boken. Her beautiful hair was cap
tured in Fifth avenue hair store.
There was one real freak besides yours
truly and that was the fat woman.
She was no fake. She was the real
thing. She weighed 700 pounds on
the half-shell. The first time | saw
her supper came to the museum,
two big barrels rolled out of a wagon
and into the building. 1t was the fat
lady's supper. 1t was no wonder
her parents went into bankruptcy
(they should have went into stock
raising). Her name was Selma. When
the boss OF the show rescued her from
her parents she had eaten everything
but her name and her back hair.
The first week of museum life passed
by very quickly. When Sunday came
l went to church as it has been my
custom for years (not to go) These
great New York churches have chimes
away up in the spires that point to.
ward heaven. These chimes play very
nice music. As entered the great
church, carriages were stopping in
front. and gentlemen in broadcloth
and ladies in silk were getting out and
going into the church. When / got
inside, fellow in a stand.up collar
and q spike-buck coat met me and
took me to bare seat over in a corner
(the other seats were covered with
plush). As the crowd came in l gazed
around one of the finest churches in
the country. The windows were OF
pretty, colored glass. Over the pulpit
there was a life size picture of Jesus
Christ; little farther along a heroic
life-sized statue of Jesus. Along the
walls and in inches. were the Virgin
Mary in life-size, Moses in the Bull.
.~~l