New-York tribune., 1903-05-06
\ PROTEST.


A PROTEST.
TAccordng to writer in medical newspaper.
sigh merely indicates oxygen starvation
o soured scribe, whose diatribe
Proved Lydia's kiss was bane. not bliss.
Because 1t wasn't Sanitary
Now should love wrest from her dear breast
Some uoleful exclamation.
You'd have me know that sign OF woe
1s-oxygen starvation!
What time she throbbed for and sobbed,
That fend pharmaceutical,
THE Weekly Vault" declared the salt
Now. when I'm late and dread Of Fate
Engenders ululation:
You analyZe my darlngS signs
AS oxygen starvation!
You pachydern. who gloat germ
And fatten fatality,
Who no, look askance cen on poor romance
Oh. send for me when splrillse
In you find occupation;
-(Pau Mall Gazette.
A Philadelphia man who has Chinese cook is
reported by THE Philadelphia Press as much
puzzled by the 'pidgin English used by the Ce
lestial "He says topsde' for upstairs, and no
hab got for I have not they not and
one piecee for a single individual. and all sorts
Of other funny things" explained the employer
For instance, the other day I got home and told
him to go upstairs and tell my two daughters
wanted to talk to them This was the answer he
gave me when he came down. Two piecee gail top
piece gail walkee-walkee.' From which event
ually made out that neither of my daughters was
at home, being out driving, the other out
walking-but he's a great cook. anyhow"
UNTERRIFTED.
What's sh, de use o. wOrkn' when de sun is shinin
What's de use O. workn when de air is warm. jes
hoeR elm & Of de o tataT nc an & m a6o % de 1o %
cause when it comes to livin' right along wants
Dat de rvers full O. fishes an de groun' is full O.
bait.
I may not get de honey dat de bee piles up all
But ia rruther be butterfly an hab chance to
An bahd times ism gwine to git so far beyond
Dat you hasn't got chance to cut yohs'f hshin'
So dar ain no use to worry an complain about
When de rivers full o. fishes an de groun is full
o. bait. -CWashington Star.
This frolicsome matrimonial advertisement ap-
pears IN 1.-The Kobe Chronicle: California: Well.
boys here am sweet little maid of seventeen
summers; can sing ragtime and dance jagtime;
can cook and am an all round girl. I have bright
blue ewes light hair inclined to be curly; height
five feet four weight 12O and have light complexion.
Would like to correspond with nice young
man of good habits who intends TO marry
The Widows Cow.-At the meeting of bankers in
hs G aSf ps
who got into financial straits and borrowed from
his bank $40 on the security of fine Jersey cow.
1t nearly broke her heart she said. to pledge the
animal which almost as dear TO her her
children. Then long period in which she re-
newed the note time after time, sometimes paying
interest and sometimes not, and always distressing
the bank officers with her sorrowfu talk "One
day proceeds the story. she showed up in more
sorrowfui frame of mind than usual. and with more
tears and wetter tears also than usual, announced
that she had given up the struggle. The was
dead and she was wearing her life out under the
weight of a debt unsecured and which she no
prospect OF being able to pay. She wanted II
acnia aF took 10 tell o
Blake that II use for the bank to monkey
longer with that paper. to treat the woman as nice
ly Az he could. making her burden as light as pos
sibe dry up the fountain of tears then go over to
the Register of Deeds office with her and have the
mortgage released All of which Blake did In his
smoothest and most gentlemany way Just as they
were coming out OF the courthouse curiosity got the
better of him. and more space filler than any
thing else he said: a.,
Madam. now that this Is all settled. when did
yo,lr cow die and how did IL happenT
. She rad wiped her tears away by this time and
was radiant and smiling. a poem In contradictions
Turning to him. she said;
NV dear boy you tell that sweet cashier OF
vo,rs that the butcher killed the COW two years
ago "-(kansas City Journal