davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11

without the element of wit and humor and their family, satire, ridicuei
pleasantly, dronery and fwl
A cursory consideration Of the characteristics of wit and humot
will show there are no definite boundaries TO either, that they glide into
each other so imperccptibly their entire separation is impossible. II has
often been remarked the precise moment when a lamb becomes a sheep
il not asccrtainallc even by the shcpherd-and we are all witnesses TO
the constant plumbers of the purvcyor Of lamb chops in that regard.
But we may, perhaps, 10 a certain extent diferenuate the functions
Of these kindred faculties and distinguish the peculiar province of each.
Wit originally was synonymous with knowledge. but in The process
OF specializing the qualities Of mind and difcrcntaing language the
word has come to be used chiefly in a restricted scisc. 1t has been de-
fined as; Ready perception and happy expression Of unexpected or
amusing analogcs or other relations between ideas apparently incon-
gruous Or unrelated; sudden and ingenious association Of ideas or
words carrying surprise and delight"
Hunor is defined as: "Thc sportivc exercise Of the imagination
that is apparent in the choice and trcaimen, of an idea or theme and
that delights in the homogeneous, the ludcrous and the dr0ll; distin.
guhhcd from wit by greater sympathy, gcniahty and pleasantly and
less Of intellectual subtcty and keen, cold analysis
Let me try TO add something TO these definitions. Wit is pointed
humor is persuasive; wit is intellectual, hunor adds to this the emo
,ronal; wit gives a momentary rapture, humor a perennial delight: wit
is a spark, hmuor n glow; wit is never. pensivc, humor may be both
pcnsivc and pathetic.
think II may safely be said no age of the world has been so pro-
life in humorous literature as our own, and nowhere is il so prevalent
as in our own country. And not only is hunor a conspicuous element,
in or literature, but also in the speech and thought of the people. And
this seems to me a new illustration of the great law Of compensation,
for no age has ever imposed upon man such severe strain. such con.
tinuous toll, such heavy responsibilities such a strenuous life. Mani.
iciiy, therefore, the humorous element in literature and life is a
bcncfccnt factor tending to relieve the intensity of the modern struggle
for existence and supremacy. We must confess, however, that this ten
dcncy is not unmixcd with extravaganza OF language and seems to have
bcgottcn hippancy Of speech and a disregard for sobriety and serious
things.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11
THE TRIBUNE.
Published by
THE TRIBUNE PRINTING CO.
A. u. KEADLE. Managing Editor.
MONTGOMERY. . MISSOURI

The Kantss City Journal remarks:
Convictions for boodlIng In Missouri
doubtless are unpleasant. but there Is
nothing in the record so far TO show
that they interfere with n mans lib
erty. And the record Is growing old"
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11
Nations Welfare Depends Upon
Mdl0ldzlakS
BY HON.. GEORG F. HOAR,
United States Senator from Mayaehu,uu
BY HON. GEORGE F. HOAR,
United States Senator from Mas,aeAu,su,.

The fate o. the nation depends in the
las, resort on individual character, whether
the individual is an officer of the government
oronly aprivate citizen. Everything in human
government, like everything in individual
conduct, depends, in the end, upon the sense
OF duty which dominates the life.
Whatever safeguards may be estab.
lished, however complicated or wcll-adjustcd
the mechanism. you come at last to a place
somewhere where safety depends upon some.
body having the will to do right when it i,
in his power and may seem to his ~in,eres,
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11

Gov. Dockcry has issued a procla-
nation Offering a reward Of $500 each
for the arrest aud conviction OF the
unknown murdcrers who killed Mr.
and Mrs. Henry Ycater, In Warren
count. recently. The reward holds
good 'or one year.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11

At the conference OF the NJ. Z.
church, south, at Mexico, II was an
nounced that u fund OF 5000. 200 is 10
be raised for the benefit OF aged md
disabled preachers OF the church.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11

The new Hotel jefferson, at st. Lou
Is. being built at a COS; Of 81, 600. 900.
n Enclosed. and the contractors are
working 300 men II hours u day 10
get II ready by February / next.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11
Look out for Hickman.

Luther $. Hickman. state supervisor
OF building and loan associations OF
Missouri, is preparing to begin prose-
cution OF the officers OF six associations
OF the home cooperative company
class. all located In ST. Louis.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11
DeTni1ions @WH and Humor
By EDWIN B.

L.it,erateurs have long sought an accurate def.
milton of wit and humor and to draw the line Of
denarcation between them. The simple fact that
exact definitions and discrimination are impossible
in the nature Of things docs not in the least daunt
these enthusiastic seekers after the unattainable.
Yet their efforts have not been wholly fruitloss. So
varied and important is the exercise of these
functions that their study properly enlists the atten.
ton Of the wisest and most thoughtful. Imagine, IL
YOU can, civilization, society, literature and life
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11

A warrant charging manslaughter In
the fourth degree has been issued
against MotoTman Landstrom, whose
car killed Alexander Harter In St
Louis.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11

Complaint comes from several Sec
tions Of Missouri that the school book
contract il being violated. and that pa
irons are being asked higher prices
than those agreed upon by the state.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11

70 do That WHICH IS wrong.
In the dawning years of the nations life, when the people were
considering the adoption of the constitution OF the United States
one OF our wiscSt statesmen said that the real and only security for ,
republic is when the rulers have the same interest as the people. II
they have rot. constitutional restraints will break down somewhere.
except for the sense Of duty to the rulers.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11

II Cures Colds. Coughs, Sore Throat, croup. Ins,-.
enkn, Whooring Cough, bronchitis and hsthms.
a CERTAIN trfc. Tor Consumption In hrst ,,nres.
shd o. sure relief IN advanced stages. TIE OF onee'
l6l viii see the excellent enect after t,Iins H.,
hI.i oosc Sold BY dealers everywhere. large
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11
Influence Of The Press
BY REV. LEANDER TOURNEY,
Faster Normal Park Bspus, Church, Chicago.

multiplication OF bad books is amazing and dis
c%ouraging, and the aptitude OF the multitude for books
that hold but do not help, that have power to COM
mand the attention but TO do no more, is one OF the
very worst characteristics of the times.
But, Notwithstanding all this, it was a great dav
for humanity when the printing press was thought of.
II was the printing press that made the Lutheran
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1903-09-11

reformation possible; that made the American revolution successful
Popular government is the child of the printing press and cannot con-
except BY the conservation OF intelligence made possible by a free
II there shall ever come a time when the press is really sub-
'idized it will be a bad time for the liberties of men. The press. with
its faults, is the greatest friend Of character and manhood.
This mighty agent is one of the best servants of religion. The
religious publishing houses are the largest in the country. The RnIo
Is the greatest selling book. The service which the printing press does
to religion is entirely beyond computation
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18

the two that you didn't marry,
mean-kiss you?"
Mrs Barclay stared up at her daugh-
ter for an instant, and then her face
broke into broad smile of genuine
amusement She lowered her head TO
her knee and laughed out.
Dolly Barclay, you are such fool
she said, and then she laughed again
almost immoderately. her face in her
lap.
81 know what that means" said
Dolly. in high disgust. Mother. don I
think you can do me any good You'd
better go to bed"
Mrs Barclay rose promptly.
81 think I'd better, too" she said. III
makes your pa awful mad for me TO sit
up this way. don't want to hear him
rail out like he always does when he
catches me at it."
After her mother had gone Dolly sat
down on her bed. she never was in
love-" she told herself. Never, never,
never! And it's n pity She never
could have talked that way II she had
really loved anybody as much as
But Dolly did not finish what lay on
her tongue. However, when she had
drawn the covers up over her the cold
tears rose In her eyes and rolled down
on her pillow as she thought of Alan
Bishops brave and dignihed suffering.
Poor fellow" she said. Poor, dear
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
WIRELESS IN THE STORM

While the storm was thickest on
Saturday afternoon, about $3.50, |
stood on top OF the Chesebrough
building. No. IL State street, reading
aerograms from Coney Island and
Fort Wadsworth. Not an object In the
narbor was visible, but the blizzard's
fury. did not retard messages in the
slightest degree. AS a matter Of fact,
a great precipitation Of snow or rain
serves 10 Increase the efficacy OF the
wireless system. Aerograms fly all
the faster and truer as the elements
destroy or embarrass the existing stan
dard line service.-New York Press.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
CHAPTER TX.

There is n certain class Of indiyiduals
that will father around man in mis-
fortune. and it differs very little, If il
differs at ALL from the class that
warns itself in the glow of a mans
prosperity.
Horses we're hitched to the fence
from the front gate all the way round
to the side entrance. The mountain
people seemed to have left their var!-
Gus occupations to subtly enjoy TIE
spectacle of a common man like them
selves who had reached too far after
forbidden fruit and lay MANNED and
torn before them.
Their disapproval of the old mans
effort to hurry Providence could not
have been better shown than in tho
failure of Them all TO comment on the
rascally conduct of the Atlanta lawyer.
They even chuckled over that part of
the incident. To their minds Perkins
was a sort OF farofi personihcation of q
necessary evil, who, like the devil him
self, was evidently created to show
mortals their limitations.
The Rev. Charles b. Dole, a tail.
spare man of sixty, who preached the
first. second third and fourth Sunday
of each month in four different meet
ing houses within days ride Of Bisll.
ops, came Sround as the guest OF the
farmhouse as often as his circuit would
permit. lie was called the 'fghtin'
preacher" because he had had several
fearless hand to hand encounters with
certain moonshiners whose conduct he
had ventured to call ungodly because
unlawful.
On the second Saturday after Bish-
ops mishap, as Dole was TO preach the
next day at Rock Crest meeting house,
he rode up as usual and turned his
horse into the stable and fed him with
his own hands. Then he Joined Abner
Daniel on the veranda. Abner had
seen him ride up and purposely buried
his head in his newspaper to keep from
Offering to take the horse, for Abner
did not like the preacher ANY 10 hurt, y
as he would have put II.
Dole did not care much for Abner
either, They had engaged In several
doctrinal discussions In which tie
preacher had waXed furious over some
OF Daniels views, which he described
as decidedly unorthodox. Daniel had
kept his temper beautifully and had
the appearance of being amused
| through il all. and this Dole found
harder TO forgive than anything Abner
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18

dear under the circumstances"
"Best?" Dolly blurted out "Ilow
can you say that when-when"-
Dolly, you are not really foolish
about him, are you?" Mrs. Barclays
face dropped into deeper seriousness.
Dolly looked away and was silent for
moment. Then she faltered: -
don't know, mother. lin afraid II |
keep on feeling like do now III never
get over It,"
"Ah. but you'll not keep on feeling
| like you do now" consoled the older
woman. "Of course, right now. just
after seeing how hard he took It, you
will kind OF sympathize with him and
want to help him; but that will all pass
away. ! remember when | was about
your age had falling out with VIII
Despree, a young man my father didn't
like because his grandfather had been
' an overseer. And, do you know, /
! thought ! would actually kill myself.
: / refused TO cat bite and threatened
, TO run away with VIII. 70 this day
' | really don't know what would have
done II your grandfather hadn't scared
him away with a shotgun. Will kept
writing notes to me. | was afraid 10
answer them, but my father got hold
Of one and went after him on fast
horse. Wills family heard what was
up, and they kept him out in the swamp
for few days, and then they sent him
to Texas, The whole Despree family
took It up and talked scand'lous about
us"
And YOU soon got over II. MOTHER
asked Dolly almost in a tone Of dis.
may.
Well" said Mrs. Barclay. reflective
Ily, will acted the fool so terribly. He
wasn't out in Texas three months be.
fore he sent back marked paper with
an article in IL about his engagement
to the daughter Of rich man who, We
found out afterward, used to keep q
livery stable: then reckon hardly any
girl would keep caring for a boy when
his folks was telling such lies about
her family"
Dolly was staring studiously at tn,
sneaker.
Mother" she asked. don't you be,
lieve in real love?"
Mrs. Barclay laughed as II highly
amused. 81 believe in a different sort
III the puppy love ] had for that boy
Then after that there was anothel
,...,,...- .....-. A.. ..z..-,. - 49,. d.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
DIED FROM BITTER CANDY.

Springfield, H., July 3l.-Georg1
Clutchfeld, aged 6 years, OF Bunker
Hill, died under suspicious eircum-
stances, and an investigation is being
made. The boy went into a store "a
make a purchase for his mother. After
he returned he complained OF feeling
Ill. and told HIS mother he had eaten
some candy a woman had given him
and that Il tasted bitter. He grew
worse and after u CONFUSION died. Tie
Clutchheld family removed from St
Louis to Bunker Hin recently.
In the schools of France one child in
four, of both sexes, is a nail bitter.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
1he = JslhEss MANS HANpY had.

The bJslNEss MANS HANDY IN.
oEx, published N tss SATURDAY 6ulie.
tin and the Weekly Edition, gises a
concise and complete resume Of al le.
gal notices, calls for tenders, Iudg.
ments, building permits and real GO.
tate transactions Evening Bulletin,
rs cents per morth. Weekly Bulletin,
Il per year.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
THIS MAN REFUSED.

Santa Fe. n. NJ, Aug. element
NJ Smith sent a telegram from Hast
ings. Mich, today. saying that he had
declined TO accept the appointment as
Chief Justice OF New Mexico rendered
him recently by President Roosevelt.
II is believed heree that he was infiu-
-snced by the sentiment existing in the
Territory against the appointment OF
a nonresident to the Chief Justice.
ship. .
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18

The Son PAPA, what Is the rea
definitions Of charity?" Tae Father
Giving away something that. you clu't
use yourself. my 500"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
THAT OLD, SWEET SONG.

Sing ME song to that old, old tune
So sweet for my ear to hear:
Sing 1t again as in days gone by
My childhood's tender lullaby
The song that Is new from year &c
year.
Sing me again that old, sweet song;
Old In its theme, yet new;
The song that touches every heart
The song Of Bath Of the plumbing
mart:
The Douglas, tender and true.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18

You generally have a lot to say.
Out?"
Dolly gave her shoulders sudden
shrug Of contempt
NO; we got along as well as we ever
did"
Il thought maybe he was little mad
because you wouldn't dance tonight,
but surely he's got sense enough to see
that you oughtnt TO insult Brother
Dillbeck that way when he's visiting
our house and everybody knows what
he thinks about dancing"
No; he thought did right about
it," said Dolly.
Then what in the name OF com
mon sense Is the matter with you
Dolly? You can't pull the wool over
my eyes, and you needn't try It,"
Dolly faced about suddenly.
Il reckon youll sit there all nigh:
unless tell you all about IT," she said
sharply. Mother, Alan Bishop wa
there"
You don't say"
res ana asked me 10 let MIN take
me 10 church tomorrow evening.
On ne dld!
yes; and, as didn't want father to
insult him, -.
You told him what your pa said?''
NO; JUST tod MN rather didn
want me 10 receive MIN any more
heaVeh knows mat was enough
wen. that was the best thing Tor
you 10 10 MTb' barclay TOOK deep
breath as II she were lnhaiihg a de-
licious perfume IT'S much better than
W nave MN plunge IN mere some dsy
ana nave your ia'her Dreak out IKE
no does IN MS rough way What did
A,an say! 49,,
ne saiu very niue put ne looked IT,
lou ought 10 nave seen MN FRANK
came UP Just ABOUT that' uine ana IN
Ni,eu me 10 nave some ice cream ana
! hau 10 ieaye MN. ne was "h'e
as snee' ne hau nhaue an engage
men. win me 10 slt out a lance ana
ne aiuht come IN the room again tlii
.nst dahce was eaiied ana 'hen ne
uIun even ineh.,oh IT. ne ac'eu 81
peculiariy i could see II was nearly
hiiiins NM Out ne wouldn't let me
prihs up the subject AGAIN ! came
near do'ms IT, Out ne Always steered
founu II
mes sensible young man de-
eiareu MITE narciay' any one can
pee tnat Dy looking AT MN hes MOI
', esponS'''e i'r ms lather loolharuy
" nen'u ne5 S o II 'er ', leaves MN
haS ," ap ,, ~ "a ma ,ns man ne
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
70 CURE A colo IN ONE DAY.

Take Laxative 9rono ouinine Tablets
All druggists refund the money IL IL
fails to cure. &c W. Groves signature
IL on each box rs cents.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18

Chapter 1.-The story opens with
Alfred Bishop, a Georgia planter, clos
ing trade Of $1,000 in mill stock for
5000 acres of mountain land. Mrs.
Bishop and their son Alan object Ia
the trade. Mrs. Bishops brother, Alb
ner Daniel, tells story. 1.-THE sale
over. Bishop boasts that his land is
on a prospective railroad. Tompkins,
the former owner. has just unloaded
a tract Of 1000 acres adjoining Bish-
ops. IlI.--Bishop goes TO Atlanta to
see Lawyer Perkins, who told him
about the railroad. lie has been de.
ceived. The old man is so east down
that he returns home without seeing
his brother William or his daughter
Adele, who 10 at her uncle's in Atlanta.
.IV.-Bishop has bought 10000 acres OF
mountain land in all and mortgaged
his plantation. Abner tells Alan to
consult Rayburn Miller, n land spec
ulator. V.-Miller tells Alan about a
dance at barley. Alan's sweetheart
Dolly Barclay, will be there. Frank
Hillhouse is attentive to Dolly Craig
the banker. Wholly tells Alan that
her father objects to his love quest
Barclay has also been caught on noun
tain land.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
RITJATIOSS WANTED.

A YOUNG graduate in medicine from
Scotland will arrive in Honolulu on
SIS. Sierra, on July LIST, 1903. Would
like locum tenens work for short
period. For particulars apply to
p. o. Box nc. 24S9.tf
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
SPECIAL. NOTICES.

ITCHING scalp, falling hair and dan
druff are the forerunners Of bald
ness. Pachecos Dandruff Killer
will destroy the cause. At Union
Barber shop.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18

Even a Grand Army man has been
known to sleep at his Post.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18

Janseu-"They tell me your friend
has absolutely no fear OF death" Jen-
niugs-"l should say not; he is an
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18

FRESH comb honey for sale at 10
cents per pound or three pounds for
20 cents. at al Kinau ST., near Ala
pal. T. Newcastle. 253l.ti
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18

FOR RENT-A modern new eight.
room house, mosquito proof; on XII.
nau Street near Alapai. Apply Par.
agon Market. 2493.tf
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
HELP WANTED.
TO LET.

FOR RENT-Mosquito proof, furnish
ed room on King (194I within $50
feet Of r. T. center. with telephone
and fine bath. w. L. EATON.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
LOST.

is stopped on Bishop
q Co.'S Certificate Of Deposit, No.
40575. for $4,000, dated March
3Oth. 1903. favor OF Eben Low. All
parties are cautioned against nego.
tiating same. 2535.3t
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
r. e. KINGS LIST.
For RENT.

FOR RENT.
COTTAGES from IS TO $50; sanitary
plumbing; best of location; on car
line.
ALSO
SUITES Of furnished housekeeping
rooms: 500.
I FURNISHED 5-room cottage; $50;
water rate; all.night light on veran.
da and taking care OF yard free.
r. e. KING,
No. 8 Cottage Grove.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18

LOST - Pass book No. 739, Samuel
Floyd. in First American Savings
and Trust Co. of Hawaii, Ltd.
253b.1w
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18

LOST - Many thousands OF dollars
through neglecting to have stock
sufficiently insured. Honolulu In.
yestnfent Co. represent four Of the
strongest fire insurance companies.
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18
FOR SALE.

FOR SALE - Fine corner lot in Ma.
Xxi. CURLING, water, fruit and
ornamental trees and all improve.
meuts. Two minutes walk from
cars and punahou College. Address
\. T., this Office. 25l6-tf
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1903-08-18

FOR RENT: Furnished Rooms--Nice,
cool. mosquito proof rooms. Alakea
House, Alakea st. bet. Hotel and
King. 22G5.tf
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1903-12-16
DON'TLIKE TEDDY'S BLACKS
REPUBLICAN OFFlCE.HOLD.
Err SENDS IN HIS. RESIGNATION.
wouldn't Bow Down to Few Negroes az
Demanded by ROosevslt's Refer.
ees in That State.

Rather than bow down on his knees
to few negroes, as demanded by
President Roosevelt's Alabama ref.
erees, Frank Simmons, United States
marshal for the southern district of
Alabama, sent in his resignation Ia q
letter that is one OF the warmest liter
airy propositions the president has re.
ceived in many a day from the south.
"Your resignation accepted" was
the response from the president.
The words of President Roosevelt
are taken in Alabama to mean that he
is determined to pursue in that state
his policy of appointing negroes to
positions of power and influence.
The attitude of Mr.. Simmons is con.
sidered manifestation of the view
the white repu blicans of the state take
of the matter.