The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-02-03

ePoNDENCE SCHOOL OF WOO
ARG.
zspyright. 1903, by Robert Howard
Russell.)
Once there was a lovely Two-Step-
per who went to q Swell Hop and there
net a Corkerina who had come to visit
q School Friend
he gavOtted a few Lines with the
Lily. They found it very easy 20
catch Step together and he did an ex-
pert Job OF Plotting during the Waltz
90 as not to get her unused up, and
the was that he made a
Grand Impression.
Whenever a Debutter goes away to
visit a School Friend, she always meets
some Local Adonis who looks to her
to be about GO per cent better than the
stock OF Johnnies in her own Burg.
And after a Nice Girl has had a long
and prosperous Run on the Home Cir
cuit and then begins 10 curl up on the
Edges and show signs OF Frost, she
will find it a very wise Shift to try new
anu ~
will make 81 Ten-Strike.
To prove that this is no Idle Jest, it
can be demonstrated that the marry
ing Girl usually goes on the Road a
while before she closes d Contract.
The Two-Stepper could not forget he
Girl from Another Town. She pulled
cut next Day but he looked I'D the
Address and sent her the Dane Pro-
gramme that he had found in his Over
coat Pocket. She wrote back that it
! was AWfully Sweet OF him TO remem-
Der poor little Me and then she asked
one or two Questions. Thai gave him
@ Hunch, so he bought q Lew kind O..
Writing Paper, said to be the Latest
Agony, and he wrote a nee Long Let
ter in which he told her that she was
very easy to look at, aid that when it
came to picking them Up and setting
them down in the SloT and Dreamy,
she made all the othe. Girls of his Ac-
quaintance look like = Set of Cripples
, Che returned the 'erve with one OF
these chummy Epis .es, written OH al.
sides of the Pa +, with the T. ;
era wiling up one -iargin like a Pea
Vine. She chucIz-d in a few mushy
Extracts from I Oatmeal School OIL
Thought and a cd him the Name Of
his FavOrite p t.
Her Pace wa a trif1e Swift for Har-
ry j.. who had derived his Education
from the Spor.Ing Section of the Daily
Papers, but ha bought a Lovers Guide
and Il Dictionary and decided to stay
In. 81
The size of it was that little Harry
had been HarpOOned all the way
through. He was the original Sweet
heart a Ia Brochette. He carried with
him, Night and Day, a Vision of Her
In the $500 Rig that she had flashed o.:
the Night of the Party. 1t never oc-
CURED to him that she could wear any
other Costume. He would c.ose his
- Eyes and try to hear once again the
dulCet and mellif1uous Tones of that
: Voice which, to him, sounded as Good
as an Aeolian Harp moved by gentle
Yephyrs within a Bower of Orchids
costing 500 each.
So they exchanged Photos.
Next to the Miniature painted on
Ivory. the Modern Photo is the r,lZa
Bunk of the Universe.
A successful Photographer who has
learned the Tricks and made a slight
Study of Human Nature can take a
Grass Widow OF 4S who is troubled
with Wild Hairs and other Excess Or
BdiIitIllS dilu p9 tdl'BCA AlS - LILY
Negative he can make her out to look
something like Ethel Barrymore. Then
she can send the Picture to her Rela-
tions who live a Ions WY off and they
never know the Differenc,.
The Girl sent Harry a High Art Pan
eI OF herself. in which she was look
ing at something in a Tree, and when
he Gazed at it ne had a P~alpitation
and said. This Is better han l thought
St was"
He told himself that it would be a
Pleasure and a Privilege to wax up
TO something like that the 1st of ever,
Month and hand It the Envelope.
He got a clean Shave and put on his
Other Clothes and went and had him
self Taken by an Artist who charged
$500 a Dozen-s4.O0 for the Pictures
and $500 to square his Conscience
This Specialist could take any Sci
OF Mlsft Features and re-arrange them
into Work of Art. He put Harry in
front OF the BulTs-Eye n scrooged
him around so as to blanket the Whit
Wings as much as possible and then he
told him TO think OF Money and o o
Pleasant
When the Pictures were delivered
Harry realized for the first time that
he was a Beautiful Creature. he
sent one 10 the Girl and wrote that 1t
was q bum Likeness and did not do
him Justice, and so on.
In acknowledging Receipt. she cut
out h Dear Mister and came right
at him with Dear Friend" which
gave hin such a Stroke of Joy hat
he did very little Work that a
Harry did not lave Gumption enough
20 avoIva anv daPO SyStan of landing
4 Tid-Bit but he had accidentally hit
upon the Cinch Method.
Sc long as Courtship consists OF
sending idealized Cabinets and ex-
changing Nice Long Letters. there is
but little chance of making Miscues.
He never drops in of an Afternoon to
find her in a Blue Wrapper and dry
ing her Hair and she never catches
him smelling of CioaretteS