River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-07-23

dlleI We cApIdlHcu tHdI IL WAS only
a joke.
Mrs. NJ. Quitting her arm around
the Highly-Strung Woman)-What
was it all about, dear?
Mr. Fl. (irritably)-I don't see the
necessity for rehearsing our little
family squabbles before every caller.
I'm going to dress for the theater.
VIII you be ready in half an hour,
Edith?
Mrs. HI don't believe I'll go now,
after you're being so mean to me. I'll
stay at home-and cry my eyes out
probably.
Mr.. H.-Don't talk such nonsense.
I'll stop in for you when I'm ready.
He walks out.
dear,
Mrs. H. (picking up the pass which
Mr.. II. left behind and handing it to
the Sympathetic Friend)-There,
that's what caused the whole trouble.
You look it over while I fix my hair
and battle my eyes. But I'm. not
going out with him unless he ex-
plains everything, and is nice about
it,
Mrs. M. (reading aloud)-on ac-
count of Kit. Who is this Kitty?
Mrs. H. (triumphantly)-
just what l wanted to know. First
he told me it was one of Held's cho-
rus girls, then, when he saw how 1
took it, he tried to turn it off as a
joke.
Mrs. M don't believe it was a
joke, Edith. You know he did use
to carry on dreadfully before you
married him.
Mrs. III. beginning to weep AGAIN.
He said he never knew any chorus
girls.
Mrs. M.-The old hypocrite! That's
what his father took him out of Har-
ward for. He used to chum with
Aldy Armand, whose uncle ran the
fremont, and both the boys were
behind the scenes three or four times
a week. Mrs. Armand told Mrs.
Barnes
Mrs. H. (hurriedly)-Don't, Emily,
I can't bear it. To think we've been
married only year and half, and
Jack said to-day that he'd rather
have me go home to mother than to
have her come here.
Mrs. M. (sympathetically)-The
brute!
Mrs. H.-N-no, Jack isn't exactly
a bru-bru-brute, but he doesn't I'M
derstand wom-wom-women
Mrs. MI wouldn't let my hus-
band say anything like that to me.
Why, it's outrageous. I wonder what
She looks like. She's probably a
drugstore blonde.
Mrs. II. (hysterically)I know
what she'd look like if I had her here
now. I'm not going out with him to-
night, anyway. VIII you stay and
comfort me this evening, Emily?
Mrs. Moi course will, you poor,
abused dear.
(The Highly-Strung Woman rests
her head on the Sympathetic Friends
Average Man knocks lightly on the
door and enters, attired in a dress
suit.)
Mr. H. (after an awkward pause)-
Well, Edith, haven't you come to
your senses yet?
Mrs. H.-N-no, and I'm not COM
ing to- mean I'm not going to see
any of your old college friends
Mr.. II. (aside, in great disgUst)-
What foolishness! (Aloud)-Come,
dear, don't make such spectacle of
yourself. Your nose is getting all
red and blotched.
Mrs. M. (under her breath) What
monster!
Mr.. H. Clearing the remark Mrs.
Medlar, think perhaps ] had better
make an explanation, since you have
succeeded in bringing this little mis-
understanding to such a climax. 1t
all began by the wording of that
pass, which I see you have appro-
priated. Merely in fun / said that
it wua given me by chorus girl I
used TO know. Now, common sense
ought to teach any woman that if
such had been the case / wouldn't
have told my wife. The Kit ON that
card is the abbreviation for Frank
Kitson, press representative for the
Hollis. You know him, Mrs. Medlar,
and you also know that he and / have
been friends for years. Now, don't
want to be inhospitable, but 1 think
Edith and 1 can settle this better
if we are alone for few minutes.
Mrs. NJ. (highly indignant MIR.
Hornung, you will never have the OPP
portunity to insult me in this fat
again. will tell my husband what
you have said this very night. Good
by, Edith, dear.
(The Sympathetic Friend stalks out
of the room. The Highly-Strung
Woman throws her arms around the
Average Man in a moist but affection
ate embrace.)
Mrs. H-You were right, dear, it
was all her fault. She stirred me up
as she always does, and she is a med
ding old thing. But you ought to
have told me in the first place that
Kit wasn't a Kitty. Oh, Heavens!
Catching sight of her face in a
glass; my nose is a sight. But wait
a minute until I fix it. (She runs to
the chiffonier and manipulates lit
tie puffy white thing for few min
utes, then puts on her hat and comes
back to him). I'm all right now,
Jackets; kiss me and tell me where
we're going for dinner. I'm half
starved. Crying always makes me
hungry.