New-York tribune., 1903-04-15
ACTIVE REMEDIES,

IA Paris doctor declares that the cakewalk
freely induged in. will kill the hardest mlcrobeI
The waltz is not without its charm
The polka has its points. o,o,
To those who've supple JOINTS
The cellar hap with JOY is seen
(Though seldom at a balD.
But when it comes to hygiene
The cakewalk beats them all.
There was time in days gone by.
When if I felt unweil,
Unto my doctor would ny,
Ahd baStG Pay the mX XvaT9t aHptRHa pt2nmpng fees
1t seemed my only chance.
But now NJ. D. no longer please
It's cheaper far TO dance
Should limb or Uranium throb and ache.
don my lightest shoe, ,,o
And hired menials mus music C. make. 4
Down south's' exhiiaratng strains
Burst from the gay l9ajjf banjo. 49,. n.,r
Quaint ragtme steps dlspel my PAIN
And urge a healthy glow.
Ye invalids. though old and stout
Forgetting gout. step boldly out
To emulate the coon.
Attempt the measures suggest
Scorn not what I advise.
The plan, believe me, is the best,
Inns way -Uondon Chronicle
The fish hatcheries are extremely busy and are
doing 4 great deal OF valuable work. Millions of
Young shad will soon be placed in the Hudson
River and hundreds of thousands of whitehsh
and trout will be distributed from Lake George
as a central point. Swarms of fish IN lakes and
ponds, in rivers creeks and brooks ana al! along
the coast will be of ncalcuiabIe advantage TO the
masses Of the people.
soph-Don't you think girls with pigtails ought TO
0G Post CTaduate-Not debarred-just upbraided.--
Columbia Jester
In the classic precincts of Cambridge, where the
literary tradition Of education survives. the stu
dents have a richer slang than in American uni
versitjes student is never in Cambridge but
always up" If he is leaving college for day or
two he will tell his friends that he is going
down" The first person you encounter on enter
ing your rooms is not your landlady She is your
'bedder" which is an abbreviation of ''bedmaker -
The custom of abbreviating words and adding the
alx "er'' is universal at Cambridge. One does not
go to ones lecture" but ones 'lecker." Football
(Rugby or association is of course. elsewhere,
'footer'' Tugger socker). The early meal is al
vays 'brekker." But there is also a purely var
sitv meal known brunch This takes place on
Sunday 1t is a combination of breakfast and
luncheon and does duty for both 1t is well to
know that you do not live at Cambridge-you
keep" You will be asked, Where are you keep
ng?" when friends inquire your address. If inside
your college, you tell them that you keep in coll
You don't inquire if any is dining In hall -
but IL they will keep a hall" You .skeen a
chapel" and if you attend that OF Kings College
you say you are going to keep Kings" Do not
smoke a pipe, but keep one. If they are going
to a theatre. concert or meeting 1t is a case of
"keeping" A ''stinks man is one who is taking
the natural science tripos.
An Exception.-Faeldng- thought you didn't
object to a man who talked shop
Quiggler-But that fellow is an undertaken
(Broohlyn Life.
Real Enjoyment--'T suppose" said Mrs. Old
castle, that you have arranged to attend the
grand opera?"
there's nothing Ike grand opera 10 show real
culture so he's bought box for every night and
we're goin' to take Daisy's German teacher with
us 10 explain what they're sayin."-(Chlcago Rec
ord d-Herald.
What is the poet iaboring over7'
'aJ'ryine TO ind q word rhyme with Pabst"
"Ah! Studying lager r-rhy thms l see."-tCornell
Widow.
What is il now, sergeant|
''Sure tits the recruit. Oi tould nm TO
mark time in tn drill till OF back. and
he's scratched up tn face of the clock wild pencil
soT."-Princeton TlGer.