Casco Bay breeze. [volume] (South Harpswell, Me.) 1901-1917, 1903-08-06
A SERMON FROM LIFE.
CONTINUED from page H.

Moore soon found his life one Of Ups
| and Oowrs, elevating humanity at IS
per week.
The Metamorphosis the Cocoon un-
dergoes In developing into q Butterfly
Is q slight change when compared
vita che transition that took place In
Jonathan under the example Of his
friead. Percy Walker.
| Jonathan now wore Patent leath-
| ers OF approved design. A bright red
| tie loudly called for recognition, while
a Six Caret Calcium Light made the
He,vcpls Stellar atuactions look like
a Chea Side Show. He had learned
the Art Of Paper PHI smoking and
parted his hair with Geometric Pre-
cision In the Middle.
He read the society column and
learned tongue gymnastics until his
pronunciation had the true flavor Of
Foreign Royalty. He talked Of
Country people as Suckers with the
sneeriag grin Of \ genuine New York
er. Now he was the first to Guy q
Stranger in Town. He was an Angel
Of the Mirror and studied the gentle
art of male coquettry. He wore q
college pin, attended the Foot Ball
Riots. sometimes erroneously called
games) where his lusty bellows proved
his enthusiasm for college athletics.
or course II should be remembered
that Jonathan was q college Bred
himself. even though the campus was
delivered by Uncle Sam at the rate OF
cents per delivery.
Jonathan had q card case and the
dainty. white slips. artistically engrav-
ed. read: J. Hamilton Moore. Some
how the printer forgot to emphasize
the ]. but no doubt he knew that JON
afhon uynt,ld hot No. ha raf
1t to him.
1t Is essential that every self-styled
Gentleman CD have Hobby. a kind
OF aristocratic Fad. and ]. Hamilton
was not to be lost in the Shufle Of
Fashion. He adopted Yachting as
his Fad He knew the word yacht
was the same as what the vulgar
commoners called Boat. He knew
that boats were vehicles of water.
with this his learning in this direc-
tion ended. His early experience
with water came from his Semi-Annu-
al Bath. He bought book on yacht
had never seen q pond larger than
Buzzville Creek He dug deep into
his study until he talked in his sleep
Of jibs, reefs, topsail, ETC.. with the
ease OF a tar" He wore his
yachting cap with the Buoyancy Of an
Admiral.
During the Summer, ]. Hamilton
was given a two weeks vacation and
with the True Spirit Of a Sport, he
wrapped his few clean collars and his
hest Bib and Tucker In a Borrowed
suit case and made for Casco Bay.
Upon arriving at one Of the fashion
able hotels cn one Of the many beau
tiful islands Of the hay. he tipped It
OF thai he was . real Swell Guy, with
Coin To Burn. He made q thunder
bolt CiamOt for social recognition as
the Great l Am" His forum was the
Piazza and IN Gallery tones he talked
Yacht. At first his dope worked well.
Everyone thought they recognized In
J. Hamilton Moore, q commodore OF
the old school. He wore a loud pa
ternal Y,tasinv ari'y-s .sst.sd -sus
RiazxaAE, &pZSswinging Rythmn Of
the man OF well Tested Sea Legs. His
discourse on Sea Sickness was his
Prince Albert Long Suit:
The rougher the sea, the more en-
joyable the SAIL so spake the wizard
Of yachting. ITO be sea sick was an
| omen OF "Plebeian Breeding" was
| another epigram which he loved touse.
His feelings became anchored to q
FLUFFY Haired Blonde, who was
| thought to be a Seven Figure Heiress.
40 her he spoke OF his feats with the
Canvas and tauntingly referred to a
man that would succumb to Sea Sick
ness as "Tenderfoot of the Prairies."
In the day they strolled the Beach to-
gether, while he pointed out the de-
fects OF every yacht in the Bay, as
| well as the Mediocre seamanship OF
the Shippers. Like many another he
had concluded that the Best way to
presume knowledge of a thing Of
which you know very little is to Crit
icise. In the same way the person
used to eating Corn beef and Cabbage,
served in manner ultra negligee, at
hand. deems II the proper caper to
point out the lack OF perfection in q
elaborate menu, served at some high
| priced Hotel.
J. Hamilton's four flush might
have passed as winning hand but for
Sailing Party. and J. Hamilton and
his queen were to be among those
present
The fun was jolly. The skipper
raced the boat before the wind. The
party were In the Midday OF Frolic.
! when II was noticed that J. HamiIton's
complexion had become a Ghost like
white. His Temperature had gone
down below Zero. and before the party
could make for a landing, the Piazza
Yachtsman had lost an important part
OF his Baggage. II ever an unlaunder-
ed piece OF Masculine Humanity was
dragged out OF boat IL was the Sea
Sick j. Hamilton.
The Queen was disguised. j. HamiI-
ton was on Queer street and he saw
his game was up and he was loser.
He went to his room and tossed In
Agony, while the Crowd on the Plaz-
"a laughed itself into the early hours
OF morning telling over and over again
the story Of his failure to make Good.
Early next morning long before the
other guests were up, he sneaked
down stairs, with all his belongings
safely slowed away In the suit case.
paid his bill and left. The Moral To
This Story Is:
Never try To Be what you are not
IL may seem the Proper Caper. but re-