The Somerset reporter., 1903-01-22
ENTIRELY ~
= UNSUITABLE
BY Eva Williams Malone
Copyright, 1900. By the
S. S. Mcclure Company
BY Eva Williams Malone

,
considered "going to court" as the next
step toward q trip to the neither re.
gions.
Yet It was perfectly evident from the
proof that Brother Hankins was guilty
of the charge brought against him
that he had assaulted Deacon Ell
Smith. The deacon's manifold and
manifest personal defacements proved
the facts, and the oaths of various wit.
nesses clinched the proof
Brother Hankins' counsel sought to
establish the plea that there were niti-
eating circumstances, and Brother
Hankins was allowed to take the stand
in his own behalf He pulled his fore.
top in the way he had been taught was
the proper thing when he wanted to
"use manners and said
"Yo' sho' ain no mo- s'prlsed to see
me heah, jedge, den is to be heah. but
| flesh an blood is flesh an blood, an
dey cain stan no mo- den dey kim"
"But you are minister of the gospel
Uncle Hank. and as such don't you
think it is very unbecoming for you to
be getting into common fight?"
But femme tell yo', jedge, dis heah
ain no common fight, an eff airy one oil
my members had er been cotch In sech
q box an hadn' er fit I'd er thawt be
mout be putty good chu'ch member
but he wan no piece oh a man."
How is that, Uncle Hank?' said the
judge. at seems a very plain case of
assault and battery, and | don't see
where the mitigating circumstances
| come in"
Oats bekase yo' hahn come ac-
| quainted wild dem suckumstances an
| cain jes zackly segasherfy how miti.
gatin' dey RELY am, jedge. Yo' see,
wuz de paster at Postum Holler, an
dere wan muffin but peace an good
will In my congergashun tell de dea,
cons gun at me to marry. My wife, 20
know, been dead sey'al mont's."
"Well you didn't object to that, did
your" And the judge gave Uncle Han
kins knowing wink.
"Well. sab, | wan jes Eackly sho'
bout de mattah. lowed | wuz put
comftable wild my daughter Kyarline
SO | said to de breddren eff hits all de
same I'd jes' stay lax | wuz But, nc
sab; dey low hit mout mex scanned, an
hit 'u'd be better fur de chu'ch eff I'G
git me pardner FUN among de sis
ters; dat hit kinder keep de sisters In a
stew when de pastors a widow man.
TOO many Of them with an eye OF
him, ell. Uncle Hank2" put In the
judge.
"Well. dunno bout dat, 1edge," said
! Uncle HAM modestly, but de bred
| dren dey put de matter so strong dat
fn'ly concluded dat eff Zion cain pros
per under de preachin' OBJ a widow
man dat widow man could put stoI
to de trouble, an So
80 you concluded to take wife, die
you?'
"Well, not jes' zackly dat strong
jedge thawt I'd sorter browse erroun
an see how de Ian lay, an eff my eye
| light on de proper pusson an de proper
pussons eye light on me-
"Why. the matter would be cas-,
enough. of course That's perfectly nut
ural, Uncle Hank" The judges cour
seemed for the time being to be trans
formed into the court of Cupid.
M &c
de sisters sev'al mont's an come 10 Ok
conclusion dat Sist' Mercy PendeI
grass jes' bout ill de bill. an when
'scuss de matter wild hel she low sh,
hahn no detection; dat ministers
wife am a mos lubly an a mos hol!
calm But Sst' 'Mericy say she hahn
no reger 'bidiu' place, bein' a lad!
what mostly hiahs ont, so de weddin
'u'd halter be kinder priyit douten NJ
kyards, no pouu cake. no TODD oh nj
sawt
But dat sawter didn' suit me stol'
my fus' wife, hit ben' slave times. an
| jes' had feclin' dat eff gwine marry
ergin | didn' want no sneakin off in d'
dawk onbekuownst LAX. so ! tole Sist
MERCY dat ~ | wuZ enterin' de holy
, state Oh mattermony fur de good OBJ d'
chu'ch mot mcanin' no sinnywations
/ ginst de lady | low de chu'ch ort Il
stand de speuse, an 'nounce nj m!
next ointment dat dere 'u'd be perseed
ms OBJ mos onushal intrust at m!
daughter Kyarline's de next Tuesda!
night an ali dem dat wuz willin' Il
fetch a poun' or so oh welcome needn
stan back fur no fudder invite
"Dey cotch on. an ebberwhah | wen
fur de mex few days yo' could smell d.
poun' cakes an de towels De deaconi
dey all seem mighty pleased an low
hits de bes ting could er happened Il
de chu'eh. meanin' dat | wan gwin,
stay widow man no longer An Sst
MERCY she WIZ jes' ez smilin eZ {
basket oh chips. an didn' no mo dis
trus 'er den dislrus 20 honnah OF
de bench made sho she wuz stralgh
goods all wool an a yard wide an NJ
spots
80 hustle erroun' an scratch up d,
money fur de License, a.feelin mo set
teder an mo contentedcr den ii
sence my fus wife went to glory"
Here Uncle Hank paused, aud s
shadow fell athwart his wrinked face
The judge suggested:
"Did the wedding come Off on time
Uncle Hank?'
Uncle Hank wiped his brow refec
lively and answered after some hesita
ton