Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-06-27

leges is reported to have said: There
are two things to be done in rheuma-
tism-grin and bear it, or bear 1t and
not grIn."-Homeupathic Envoy,
You, compared with Mr.. Walsng-
ham" exclaimed Mrs. Wekneze, scorn-
fully. why, you can't hold candle
to him" We'll" replied Mr. Wekneze,
with unwonted spirit, Il have no de-
sire to be a candle stick" -Somerville
Journal.
so this is to be a farewell tour?"
at is" answered the prima donna.
You mean to cease singing in pub
lic" Not at all. Merely that people
are to have another opportunity 10 say
farewell to their money. Washing
ton Star
Willie BDerum-"Pa, what's the diff
ference between news and gossip"
Mr.. Boerum-"Well my son, when
ever your mother tells anything to
anyone it's news, but when anyone
tells her anything it's gossip New
York Times.
81 hear your engagement TO old
Goldman's daughter is announced"
mo. it was announced" well, that's
the same thing, isn't it?' at was an.
nounced; IL Is now denounced. I've
just been interviewing her father
Washington Star.
What do you think of the new
boarder?" asked Mrs Starvem. "Oh,
| don't know replied STAFFORD. Il
think he's very polite" Either that
or very sarcastic. hid you hear him
ask me if I'd pass the cream -
Philadelphia Press.
This town." said the Western boom
or, was practically built in a day. We
do things in hurry cut here" mo
doubt replied the man from the East,
but | am more Interested in receiving
some assurance tAat 1t win not disap-
pear in Il day."--Chicago Post
Doubtful: Mr.. Softlcigh- Tommy,
do You really think your sister likes
to see me better than she does Mr..
Brown? Tommy I'm sure of it, for
evenings when he's in the parlor she
turns the light down so low she can't
see him at all."-Pick-Me-Up.
Fathers ultimatum Father trying
to read What's TINT terrible racket
in the hall? Mother-One of the chill
dren just fell down the stairs. Father
Well, you tell the children if they
can't fall downstairs quietly they'll
have to stop it.-Chicago News,
No cause for complaint: so you
resent these hints of dishonesty in
the government" Most emphatic"
answered Farmer Corntossel; i've
been buying postage-stamps from the
government fur years. and never got
cheated yet" Washington Star.
why Is it." asked the curious guest,
that the poor men usually give larger
tips than rich menu We'll. suh,"
said the waiter, ''de po' man don't
want nobody to fin out he's po', an dc
rich man don't want nobody to fin out
he's rich. sub. Chicago Tribune.
Judge-''Do you soemniy swear to
tell the truth, the whole truth and
nothing but the TRUTH" Witness-"I
do" Judge-"What is your occupa-
tionf" Witness-"I am employed In the
weather bureau" Judge-"You are
excused. Philadelphia Telegraph.
His early training. "a two-cent
stamp please" said the lady at the
stamp window Of the postotiice. Yes,
madam" replied the new clerk. who
had just graduated from depart
ment store; will you take it with
you or have it sent" Chicago News.
An unjust aspersion: Yes, our So
ciety's new president certainly Is "A
busy woman but they say she is neg
lecting her duties as a wife and mosl-
er" THAT is not true. | know for a
fact that she manages TO see her fam
lily almost every day. Brooklyn Life.
Mr.. Wrednk (the old bookkeepcrJ--
To-day marks my fortieth year of ser.
vice with you, sir. Mr. Hdes-I was
aware Of IT., Mr.. Wredink, and | ar
ranged little surprise for you Take
this alarm clock, with my best wishes
for your continued punctuality. lex.
you want that book bound, sir?
Yes, sir! 1t will cost three marks.
But there are pictures in it-that will
make 1t FIVE marks, Sin" But why is
It more with picturesT" "Oh, you see,
sir. my helper viii waste so much
time looking at themw-Fliegende
Blaetter.
Wigger- But when their boat cap
sized. how did it happen that you gave
your attention to saving the man in
stead OF the womanT" Brandt-"A
man. yGu know, wouldn't feel it in
cumbcnt upon him to want to marry
me 10 show his gratitude Boston
Transcript.
Mother-You say your husband no
longer spends his evenings at the club?
Daughter soon broke him Of that.
Mother-How did you manager Daugh-
ter-Before going to bed l put two
close together by the par
lor fire, and then held q match to a
nth Bo 90