New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-09-15
THE TALK or THE DAY.

The talking photograph is now prOmised-that is.
the photograph, with a photographic annex or at
tachment. it We're, to go twaddling as In life.
with only arbitrary and occasional intermisstons
1t opens wearsone prospect for posterity to have
the family portrait album fun Of talking pictures.
/ all going the same time. with the united
tedousness Of all the originals punched UP together
The old style non-conversationaI, as the oys-
ter is the best kind to live with and bids fair to
| hold its place in popular esteem for while. at
any rate
| Children asked the school committeeman.
| what is political economy? -, ,. cor,
of the district boss. is getting men to vote for you
as cheap you can."-tGreeu Bag.
Announcement of the fncurabe Illness Of the
Empress Dowager whom the cleverest Chinese
doctors book TO die within year. IS received with
composure at home and abroad. general senti-
ment prevailing that she had Outlived her useful
ness time ago and had long been the greatest
obstacle to her countrys welfare 20 be found any
where within its boundaries. II there were any
/ public curiosity about her complaint" it might
be assuaged by the declaration that there was no
complaint-every body satisfied
THE MEDICINE MAN.
The patent medicine mamie comes 10 cure HUI
His buggy box is storage house for liniments and
He reaches town in the afternoon. and night finds
| A ruddy beacon Of health for all sslow on the
We crowd about him and push and shove and
laugh al his merry cups, ,su s-.rurrettnx
Walk up. roll up. tumble UP:
Any way to get up, .,o r.,r
And puts the liver in good repair!
The patent medicine mamie knows wonderful
There's not q rib in :he crowd but gets some crafty
And Oh. the roIickng songs he sings with chuckls
Before he tells Of the splendid work achieved by
The tincture tonic. and healing balm that never
known 10 fall
And then ne skaters our doubts with that con-
Walk NJ. roll up. tumble M!
ANY way to get up,
j helps ne bearing End soothes the back;
The patent medicine mamie knows each symptom
He terres with his endless lore Of mystical Latin
We feel tho. shiyerrs. and restless qualms-we mop
/ whatever trouble he's talking Of. we know that
we've got it now!
And leaves an echo that haunts the ear-the clam
Walk up. ron up; tumble up,
IT'S hne for men and It's good for beast.
And might have Hvened the late deceased"
Chicago Tribune.
| Sydney Smith Hkened the scream OF the locomo-
tive the noise attorney makes when the devil
catches him--certanly occasion for squealing
the highest key in his gamut- Pretty to
that I'm stridency might be his note OF when
confronted in his peaceful ONCE by black alpaca
woman with a revolver. demanding her legacy.
when the hapless attorney had never seen her be
fore. heard a syllable about her inheri-
/ lance. Such incident befeli in city lawyers
Office the other day. happily with fatal sequel.
as the clerk came in from an outer room and sat
her head" till the police wagon could be called
II is in this and otne- made evident that the
law is primrose path OF perpetual security but
that votaries need armor Of boiler plate iron
once in a while. the same as members of more
I outwardly turbulent professions.
Mother-Tommy. stop asking your father so many
questions Don't You see It ann9ys him. 49,.
make him angry. It's because he can't answer
them.-(PunCh.
Admiral John @. Walker president of the 18th
milan Canal Commission. wears long Dundreary
whiskers. which give him familiar nickname in
the navy. One day young ensign entered his Of
flee and in a cheerful tone addressed the colcred
messenger: Hello. Bones. where's Old Whiskersg'
Before the conversation cOulc proceed any further
/ the admiral stepped from behind the screen.
drying his hands upon the towel. and remarked
quietly TO the young officer Take a seat: I'll be
with you in one moment AS the floor did not open
10 swallow him up the ensign sank into the
chair with a heavy and remOrsefui heart. He had
come to ask favor OF the man who assigned all
officers TO duty and had the power 10 send him to
either a pleasant painful berth he pleased.
When the admiral Teappeared and took his seat
at the desk the young officer. with shaking limbs
and flushed face. began to explain that he did not
Intend 10 ne Iulpe4 tiIellt- TOT you must AiioW,
admiral" he stammered that the boys often cali
YOU old Whiskers.' 1 hope you don't mind it
"Oh no. answered the admiral. Il don't mind H.
but If Just the same to you Ia rathe- you'd call
me John
Notwithstanding his twenty-five years % service
ON the bench Lord Justice Mathew still preserves
that elasticity Of spirit and love OF a Joke which
have distinguished him oil through his career. One
OF his remarks yesterday created great merrimenI
in the Court Of Appeal \ learned Kings Counsel
va the question as 10 what Is "aCci-
dent and was putting Instances Of what he con-
si8eTed would properly come within that term ana
what. the other hand. would not. Suppose
said he TO hit in the and
my became black in consequence. the fact Of
il becoming black could not be called accident
Perhaps not said the Lord Justice. but you
would doubtless explain II that ground. '-(West-
I.Inster Gazette.