The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-06-19

an object as the open Columbia to Or
egon. Both win become accomplished
facts ana at no distant date.
i sss..s.as.ss..
| CHAMPION CIRCULATION LIAR
The champion circulation liar has
been discovered, His lair is in Japan,
where he Is acting as editor-in-chief of
the laundering Dawn. Buddhist or
gan just started in Toxic, Here Is his
"greeting TO the public"
This paper has come from eternity.
II starts its circulation with millions
and millions OF numbers, The rays OF
the sun. the beams OF the stars, the
leaves OF the trees. the blades OF grass.
the grains OF sand, the hearts of tigers,
elephants, lions, ants, men and women
are its subscribers, This journal will
henceforth flow in the universe as the
rivers flow and the oceans surge"
Any liar who can beat that can get a
small job with a big salary in New
York Detroit Times,
sssassss*stssa
The Astorian has received copy Of
LIndependant. newspaper published
in French at Tall FLYER, Mass. II is
the first number printed on a Duplex
press, and its eight pages are full Of
news and have an excellent appearance
geographically. The objects of LIN
dependant. as set forth in the leading
e6itorial. are TO act as the organ OF
French-Americans. to defend the prin-
ciples dear TO the hearts Of the French
Canadians. TO promote naturalization,
and TO defend the institutions that are
the buiwarks Of the Catholic faith and
the French tongue in this country
s..sssss.sssss
Trade unions in New York have. in
consequence of the Parks exposures,
started a widespread movement for the
removal of all the walking delegates
row holding office in that city. Men of
proved character will be installed in
the places OF those thrown out of Of
flee. and although the innocent men
win suffer with the guilty no exceptions
will be made to the rule of ousting all
the present incumbents of the offices.
The movement. IL carried to success
full end will result in great benefit to
the men and to the employers, too.
ss.sssasssss.s
The collector for a San Francisco
house was run into by a buggy and his |
bag of money was burst open, with the |
result that $500 in cash went rolling
over Market street. Yet so honest are
the people of California that he got il |
all back. with the aid of small army |
Oh ponce, except NS-I
sssssstsa..+sp
Washington slot machine men are
to fight the law. And the
people that most want them to win
are the men that wasted the most
money in the machines when they were
permittd to run, or human nature is
not what it used to was.
sss.assa.s4sss
A Samoan editor Is angry because
one of his subscribers who owed him
money sent him instead boatload of
bananas. oranges. guavas and alliga-
tor pears, asking him to sell them and
forward the balance to him.
statssss.ssssa
The response Of Astoria to the APP
peal from Heppner was prompt and
generous. and the people Of the DESC
ated city should now be safe from
he fear of suffering from the lack of
necessities.
sassssss*sass&
Astoria's regatta will become the
aquatic event of the Pacific
n a few years if the rate of progress
$ maintained. With the energetic
there is every reason to
believe that it will even be surpassed,
ssssssas*tssss
\. Baltimore man whose tongue has
been cut out finds that he is still able
o speak 1t would seem now that the
,nly way TO make sure Of stopping
Bryan wuld be TO cut his head off.
sssssss*s4ssss
Tacoma has had her own daring
;treet-car holdup at last. All she can
10 is to say that the robbers came from
seattle. and this she does with yigor.
ssssssss.sss.s
?The prospect Of some good racing
between the three hose teams Of the
.ity Is pleasing to the friends Of good
lean sport
sFsssssss*ssss