The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-05-10
FUN OF THE WORLD.

ing white nd mustache. courtly manner
and soft esion of syabes. al proclaimed him
a type becoming more and more rare with each
suing No surprised when the clerk Of
the hotel which he had entered addressed him as
Colonel The certainly fitted him. says the Wash
ngtOn Post The writer aferward discovered that he is
a bona fde colonel having served through what was
until recently called the late unpleasantness
Well colonel said the clerk. who from the
old gentlemans Virginia You want the best
the house. of course?"
Certainly. certainly subj the Colonel. TO
you say per day.
Twelve dollars. sir
Very good sub" said virgnian. Perfectly sat
sfactory, sub"
Then he shown upstairs
After he had been hotel for few days his
who happened TO be in town called the governor
and found him in very comfortable room but nothing
elegant at least not luxurious enough TO be paying
Sc day.
Il have nothing to complain of"
cept that stupid beIl-boy negects
leading from my room into that the
is that 1 obliged fasten the door by chairs
and things. It's good thing I've served time in
the army. my boy. Who knows whether burglar
siren occupies that room? laid awake last
night wondering who in there and whether he she
might get investigate this
III speak the clerk" said the son. but by the
time he had gotten down stairs his mind fixed
their things.
days Colonel asked the clerk for
his bill
were you very comfortable. CoOnei?'
Perfectly. sub"
And didn't you like the way your fitted
up?"
MY rooms' exclaimed the Colonel. why, only had
one room, sub"
.oh. no l gave you suite Parlor. bedroom and
bath. What did you suppose paying So day
for?'
Then light dawned upon the Colonel and he under
stood all about the that wasn't locked
by jove. sub" he says. in telling the story him
self. 81 barred myself out Of my bathroom and
parlor for nearly a week"
Y
On the subject of his preaching the late Dean Farrar
used quote with much amusement the Judgment of
of his critics that he poor mixture OF Spur
and DR.. Cumming without the robustous humor OF
the and without the Scotch accent of the other
One day the Ferdinand Second a silly
courtier fancied he could those by his
frvoities which prompted Jonas Ferdnands favorite
fool, him according his folly. But this
enraged the ccurter that he shouted Fellow be SILENT
stoop with a fool" well. do
Jonas and therefore be good enough to listen to in
your turn"
While King Victor Emmanuel and Queen Helena
recently passing in their automobile through small
Italian village, a breakdown occurred a small
attracted the spot. the crowd Eng
lish motorists Secure they thought speaking In
strange tongue. they carried the following
sation: Pretty motor-car Yes the lady pretty
too" More than be said the Did you
see such a little man in such big carp Il am out
of brandy wonder if he supply Let's ask
Perhaps speaks French" shall be happy 10
oblige you said the king perfect English turning
and holding his flask Then. he prepared leave.
he added. Can be of any further to you? My
kingdom is your disposal and it is not small it's
monarch"
1t that when President Roosevelt goes through
crowd peculiar mania for touching his clothing is
sometimes developed among the The hands reach
all sides guards alert
and the President rather quick to dodge on his own
he no 6fado like
every meetng-pace At Sioux Falls Ratchet faced old
lady-not a member Of the divorce colony-1nade dash
for him. She shoudered off, but returned to the
charge again and again At last just the President
stepped into his carriage. she put a shiny over
Kittredges shoulder and slapped President
vigorously the The President never glanced
around. There had been visible that he had
pursuer presently turned to Senator
Kitredge and whispered in his grmmiest way: it,
senator"
x
guest at one Of the recent dinners
at the Clover Club of Philadelphia 1t is the rule Of this
organization to call its speak
confuse them with remarks But Mr. Mitchell
be confused The only notice Clover Clubs
gibes say:
guess l could get along better with my speech If
1 deaf is often a good thing be deaf There
is deaf old woman know the once
went to see this woman and she asked stay
to 1 thanked her, and said / would, not
expected before dark She had hearing pretty
up point. and she got deaf a sud
den. She had TO ask her daughter what ! had said
said. mother. explained the daughter. that be
thanks you. he stay. he IS expected
before dark.
s-At this the old woman looked relieved. and 1 de-
parted"
<
Senator Knute Nelson Of Minnesota taking one
day about another actor who had got
gagenent London
"A nne fellow" said Mr.. Nelson
Yes very fine" said the other only since he has
gone abroad he hasn't penny to his wife. He
writes the anectionate letters but not cent
has he forwarded months he has been away
writes every day twog'' said Senator Nelson
What kindness
Kindness exclaimed the actor. Kindness when
he sends money!"
Yes" said Mr. Nelson. ~unrsmitting kindness"
Justice Brown Of the supreme CouFt tells this
An Irfshman. hcaring shrieks he passing a
deep pool and strueEiing Ia tn water
He threw coat. and lespinE in. saved the
life at the risk Then the isy the bank
and rested for awhile Finally the Who had been
rescued sighed and salds
suppose. my friend. that since have saved
life / reward you. Here cin1e.
The Isfshrnsn looked The ard then he looked
the
Beaaa.' he Sid I'm overpaia Tor The 5ob-'