The Savannah morning news., 1903-11-08

| gentlemen are leaders of the reSpec-
1--we wings of Mr.. Virgins party
that their names would suggest. OF
course, Mr.. Virgins is highly fatter
ed by the invitation, but is too busy
at this emergent hour of his career
when he has reluctantly, and at great
personal sacrifice come forth to re-
Duke corruption in high places and
wrest our fair City of Pawtucket from
| the cohorts Of evil that for the past
four years have fattened upon the
toll of the taxpayer until flesh and
blood cry out for revenge, to pre-
! he the lecture suggested, but if
the enclosed subscription for $3.50 will
! help the building fund of this very
worthy organization, Mr.. Virgins begs
! the committee to accept it with his
| grateful appreciation of the courtesy
! extended by the Pawtucket Shakes
peare Society"
Il see said Mr.. Whitechoker. "In
that Way Mr.. Virgins makes popular
| ity for himself"
That's what he thinks, but that's
where he thinks wrong" said the Idiot.
That cheque for $3.50 ruins him; for.
with a singular lack of perception, he
has failed to observe that the commit
Tee IS made up of three leaders, and
$3.50 does not divide easily into three
parts. $500 would turn the trick nicely
one hundred apiece-but $3.50, we'll
when election day comes around.
O'Rafferty, Zaccepetu and Katzenheim
don't do thing to Mr.. Augustus De-
lancy Virgins"
Il thought the money was for the
erection of club house" said Mr..
Whitechoker.
1t was, but that project is Temporal
rily abandoned on account of the
strikes" said the Idiot "Then the An
gelus Club rings Mr.. Virgins up on
the telephone and asks him if he
doesn't want to put his name down
Tor 1900 subscription to purchase Il
lew paintings for the club room Just
opened over Moriarty's saloon. There
are five hundred members of the An
gelus Club. and all honest hard work.
ing lovers of art, and the committee in
charge, knowing Mr.. Virgins tremen-
dous interest in such matters, would
nave esteemed themselves derelict if
they had failed to give him this op-
portunity. Mr.. Virgins, who has Just
given his wife a fearful Raging for
having run uD a bin of $7.85 at the
grocers, replies that he is overioyei
to have this chance: indeed, he had
heard the night before of the found
ing of the Angelus Club, and had at
this moment a note on his memoran-
dunn pad to remind him to enquire as
to its needs. OF course the cheque-
payable to whom, and shall it go by
mail or messenger"
ooh. well. l don't think that's so
bad" said Mrs. Pedagog. There's no
harm in buying paintings for an art
club"
THAT depends on the paintings" re-
turned the Idiot. '"The ones Mr.. Wig
gins money went into were sent up
from Moriarty's saloon below stairs and
were mostly done in fusel oil and fire.
water with a few malt effects thrown
in alongside of which, the morning
after, a canvas by the lamented Whist
Ter would seem the supreme of the rea-
sonab1e."
You don't mean to say that they
spent all that money in drink?" cried
Mrs. Pedagog.
NO" said the idiot Ten dollars of
it was devoted to the purchase of a
thousand cigars for the hanging COM
mittee. But that Is only the beginning
of things. Mr.. Virgins has notified the
community by the establishment of
precedent that he is a good thing and
from that day until election day he's
kept busy meeting the literary and
artistic demands of the hour. The Be
nevolent Association, made up for the
most part of able-bodied sufferers from
the germ of laziness, stick him repeat
eddy; individual cases of misfortune
anu DONeTLN COiIle 10 MIN UlBIlI anu
day in person, by mail and over the
wire. When he has to go a block to
call on a friend, he sends for a half
dozen hacks and hires them by the
hour, and then let's them wait for him
at various points Of the city. And so
1t goes. In four weeks of active cam
paigning a man can spend $4,000 with
out knowing it."
"Ah, yes, but the law says you must
put in a statement of your expenses
and swear to it," said Mr.. Whitechoker
True. MIR. Virgins puts in his state
ment and it shows that his canvas has
cost him $23S.16 expended in car-fare
printing and postage stamps" said the
Idiot
And the $4,000" demanded Mr.
Whitechoker.
what has that got to do with it?
That wasn't campaign expenses, but
generous impulse" said the idiot. HE
wouldn't have been any worse off po-
litically if he hadn't paid the money
because on election night, Virgins, sit
ting at home waiting to be apprized of
his glorious victory, is rung up from
headquarters and informed with lacon-
ic swiftness-'Hay, Wiggins-you're
licked. Showed under by 0000.' Sure
ly, Mr.. Whitechoker, that proves that
Mr.. Virgins gained no corrupt advan-
tage by the use of his money!
"Oh-but it's wicked, wicked" cried
Mrs. Pedagog. TO make such de-
mands upon a man whose only wish
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