The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-10-11
TRAINING OF CHILDREN
PRACTICAL HINTS TO PARENTS on
FAMILY MANAGEMENT.
A school superintendent of Experi-
cnee and Reputation Speaks with
Proper Authority.

secured, the question will arise as 10
whether or not il should be obtained
through fear. This is the lowest form OF
obedience. II is the least desirable. In
some cases. however. as with young chill
dren, this may be the only kind which a
parent il able to secure. 1t is the only
kind of obedience which appeals to many
people at any time.
The fear Of punishment is the only de-
terrent which prevents many from breaking
the laws OF God and of man. However. no
Parent should he satisfied to stop with
that obedience which is the result OF fear
ot Tie consequences OF obedience. If il IS
rot replaced by higher form OF obedience.
there is likely TO remain in the child's heart
2 latent feeling of hostility. which may
some time break forth and burn and blast
the brightest hopes of the fond parent.
Perhaps the easiest way 10 train young
children to habits of obedience is by the
use of some certain punishment. This need
not be corporal punishment.
IL is only necessary that the child should
understand that improper acts will GER
tainly be followed by some unpleasant
ness OF disadvantage.
Much can also be accomplished by a
proper use of rewards. This Is more
difficult plan than the last mentioned 1t
requires more skill, better knowledge and
greater delicacy OF perception and dis
elimination
Even better results Will be secured by
the careful of such higher incentives
as Will appeal to the child.
Great care must be taken lest obedience
appear to be bought. This is the great
danger in the use of any system of re-
wards. Where a child is rewarded syste-
matically he is not only apt to expect it,
but is apt to demand the promise of the re-
ward before he is ready TO give willing
compliance with directions. From this there
Is likely 10 result system of hribing,
which is one Of the surest ways to ruin
the best Of children.
OBEDIENCE TO CIRCUMSTANCES.
Even though it may be necessary TO start
with obedience through fear or other low
Incentives. the effort should be made to
pass from these TO obedience TO circum-
stances. The child should soon learn that it
is not merely arbitrary authority TO which
he is compelled 10 give compliance AS
as he is able to comprehend it, he
should be shown that, not only from him,
but from every person, circumstances de-
mand obedience When a child understands
to circumstances over which they have no
control. every vestige of antagonism will
generally disappear. The less arbitrary a
parent is with ALL save the youngest chill
dren, the greater real power the parent will
have over them.
One of the very highest forms of ODE
dience is that which is inspired by love of
the parent. However. before a child can be
nv OH ha
have reached quite a high moral plane. A
very young child cannot reasonably be ex-
pected TO have reached such plane. That
parent tx most successful who gets the
child 10 so love and trust him that pleas
ing him is sufficient inducement to lead
the child to give cheerful and ready ODE
dience, and not only TO comma nds, but also
TO the implied wish of the parent. Happy
indeed the parent who has been thus sue
cessful.
Sometimes a parent may have some I'M
pleasant command 10 give concerning which
he feels there should be some explana-
ton. At such times. the loving parent will
probably say, do this now, l will tell you
why later" Sometimes, with an older child,
il may be well to explain the main reason
for requiring certain things. The child
will soon learn that it is the parents love
which prompts such consideration.
THROUGH SENSE OF DUTY.
Obedience through sense Of duty is the
highest form OF obedience. Not until a
child has reached very high moral plane,
is II reasonable to expect that he will be at
all influenced by his sense of what is right.
Too many parents fail to realize the truth
of this statement They therefore expect
too much of their children. While they
should aim to so train their children that
they will be largely influenced by a sense
OF love and duty. they should not fail to
remember that this is asking great deal
OF any one. and especially of a child.
Comparatively few adults ever reach and
still less permanently maintain, such an
exalted position. However. it is toward
such a plane that we should direct our chill
dren- Better than this. if we can occupy
the citadel we may beckon TO them and
urge them to come up and occupy it with
US. Surely the parent whose children are
ready to give prompt. cheerful obedience
because OF love for parents or regard for
what is right, must be considered most
Fortunate.
Others object to governing by absolute
authority because OF the belief that thus
the parent may lose the child's love. Above
all things parents do and should desire, to
forever keep the warm love of their chill
dren. The love which a child feels toward
parent will depend. in great measure.
upon the sympathy shown in their joys and
sorrows. This love will not only not be lost.
but Ii will certainly be more firmly estab-
Hshed by the exercise of a kind. just. abso-
Lutte authority. What person can remem-
Der a case of a child's caring more for a
parent who permitted him TO do as he
pleased, than he did for the parent who,
in all kindness, but with much frmness,
required him to comply implicitly with his
directions.
A PARENTAL MISTAKE.
The parent who fails to govern his child
is apt not only to lose the child's love, but
also TO teach the child TO despise him. Sad.
II is, yet too true. that in a very short
time children Will understand the weakness
of a parent and utterly despise the one
who cannot manage even child. AS such
children grow older they will grow un-
manageable, and will hold in supreme con-