New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-09-08
TIE TALK OF TIE DAY.


Der contains a synopsis Of the commerce OF the
port Of Galveston for the trade year just closed.
which shows the breaking of many records. Cal
vestons total cotton receipts for 192-0S were 2S-
90 bales compared with 2O90.TO bales for ls0l-c2
GaIveston's bank clearngs for the year just closed
were S4S,1S.OO0. increase Of S0,9i62oO over the
preceding year. During the last year the port OF
Galveston advanced from fourth to third place In
its rank among exporting ports OF the Unlteo
States. leading feature OF the edition Is an IL
iustrated article the various stages OF work on
the sea wall. This work begun in October
1902 About half of the work the entire structure
IS completed. The wall is be 1883 feet long. IS
feet wide at the base and Il feet high
Said one famous armchair golfer; . . know s:.
went round the. other night IN o.. Pooh, tnsts
..That.s lie said the former well isn't it lies
are teiiing"'-(Goldng.
In England a special IS IS license IS required for
the privilege OF keeping a manseryant and Lon
doner recently arrested for failure 10 comply with
the law brought forward the novel defence: He
is my housemaid." There seems to be an increas-
ing tendency in London to employ men TO do the
work commonly assigned TO housemaids, and they
do IT better The defence. however. was not sc-
cepted by the law.
HUNGER VS.. HATS.
Ut better substitute dried beef for roast beef then
home made hats for custom made millinery
Nine. Lillian Bird
Mother has a walking hat
Ostrich plunles on the top.
Father grumbled at the cost.
Says he's out of cash.
Mother only sweetly smiled
Murmured: Have some hash.
Sister I4ucys shapely head
Is than passing fair
Something labelled Paris made"
Proudly resting there;
Something that's entirely new
That is why the family
Dimes on wienerwurst.
Sister FANNY bought hat
For the matinee
Lots of ribbon. lace and straw
Make it pretty gay.
Simply wouldn't trust IT.
All get is crust
Fa T5ss b has s6 a R fssi wear;
Brother Bills Old yachting cap
Hangs upon his ear;
Father saws the winter styles
Fill his heart with doubt
If he gets hat he must
Work the free lunch route
-(Chicago Tribune
The French railway companies have issued to al
stations album which contains pictures OF every
possible article that traveller is likely 10 have
about him Owing 70 the grsat number OF passen-
gers who are unable to speak French it is often
found difficult TO trace lost articles from the de-
scrpton given Now all that passenger has to
90 IS to point TO the missing artise in the album.
What it Meant-"She told me-" said the young
man who had consulted fovtune-teller. that /
well well exclaimed Henpeck: she means
then that YOU will never be married. '-(PhiladeI-
phia Press.
In Gotten growing regions the boil weevll is an
insect so injurious that the State Of Texas has
offered reward OF $1,000 70 anybody who will find
out way OF destroying t Of minimizing its
-avages. Some mechanical devices have recently
been tried under the observation Of board of tn
spection. appointed by the Governor. and composed
Of cotton growers. but none Of them were sue
cessfu- Nothing more can be done this year but
next season the experiments viii he resumed An
other insect may be found to be the true remedy
and its advent II it ever does arrive viii be hailed
by the cotton States with a shout of 10Y which
ought 20 leave doubt among the population Of
Mars that this world Is inhabited, however IL NAV
be with the rest OF them.
Rich Mems sons-wnie-If you've saved IN
enough for an automobile. why don't yen get II?
Bobb.e-Not Vet. I'm saving up enough 70 oav
for the people run over.-tLife.
Andree's fate should discourage the polar bal
loonatic at least for a generation or two bur
a bedridden Indiana enthusiast is ready to ,enou
the trial as the doctors will allow him 10
be up and around again. Medical opinion favors
the theory that lac may die instead in which case
his Will might provide that his relScs should be
committed 10 the airship alrecdy built fer him
and sent northwa-d wings OF the first strong
wind that blows 10 that quarter. An old Moroc-
can Sultan. carried in litter She head Of his
army once won a battle after he was dead; and II
rnav be the shining post mortern achievement OF
the Indiana invalid &c hitch his aerial hearse to
the North Pole. exploit to stagger the smart
est live Hocsier going. 60 say nothing OF any OF
the dead ones.
A devoted father, after days absence. was met
by his two little sons Have you been good boysr'
silence.
Have YOU been good boys"
No papa. | called grandma a bad word SAID
fve-year-old turning scarlet.
rs IL possible? What did YOU can your grand
81 c.us5 hcr n human being
TIE fafh~r. with a mighty EFFORT, rraiutained hfs
gravity, and closed the Ecenr dscorousiy. II must
forgive you for once; but remember. il you ever
calf your granddaughter human beng again. shall
have 10 spank youi'-(Bo>ton Budget