davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
CLEANLINESS AND GOODNESS.

Whatever You Do, Wise Brothers Advise
Good Teeth.
ssCleanliness is akin to Godliness,'
is quotation from the greatest book
known to man, and it is as widely
quoted as any saying ever used. The
reason is found in the impressive truth
of the assertion.
At the present time when this coun'
try is passing through an unprecedented
period of prosperity, more and more
attention is paid to the reinements oi
civilization every day. If man, ol
particularly woman, is slovenly now
in dress or personal care, they are i'm.
nediately noticed and severely criti.
cised.
It is not hard as rue to gain an in
come beyon immediate wants, and the
majority of people in the United States
are accommodating a surplus. The peo-
pie as a whole are better dressed and
better groomed than they we're twenty
wears ago. Even the luxuries of fash
ionable society are becoming the ne
cessities of the masses.
1ulS 1S Iu0 T0su1t "a q SAOoO SoAdAAoAo
cial age with all it's benefits.
Nothing is more conspicuous than a
PERSONS teeth. If they are good and
white and clean then we are pleased
If they are discolored or missing then
we are repulsed. The tremendous
blessing to humanity conferred by .ad-
vanced methods of dental surgery is
best illustrated by such an Office as
that of the celebrated Wise Brothers, in
the Failing building, Portland, Oregon
Here teeth are filled or extracted abso-
lutely without pain. You can be sup
piled with an entire new set of teeth at
a very moderate cost. There is nc
more trouble about getting your teeth
put in perfect order here than you have
at a restaurant in getting your dinner.
The Offices are a model for anybody in
point of daintiness and cleanliness.
Let it be strenuously urged that. il
you want to get a.ong in tie world and
be respected and desired by your &C
quaintances, have your teeth in good
condition. There is no excuse for any.
one to delay when there are such per-
feet places as the establishment OF
Wise Brothers at hand.
The cost is slight. The pain is moth
ing.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
INSTINCT TEACHES THEM.

Young Birds and Animals Have Habits
Bora In Them.
There is a school of the woods, just
as much as there is church Of the
woods, or q parliament of the woods,
or Society Of United Charities of the
woods, and no more; there is nothing
in the dealings of animals with their
young that in the remOtest way sug-
gests human instruction and discipline.
The young Of all the bird creatures
do instinctively what their parents do
and did: They do not have to be
taught; they are taught from the
jump. The bird sings at the proper
age, and builds it's nest, and takes its
appropriate food without any hint at
all from it's parents. The young ducks
take to the water when hatched by a
hen as readily as when hatched by a
duck, and dive and stalk insects, and
wash themselves just as their mothers
did.
Young chickens and young turkeys
understand the various calls and sig
nails of their mother the first time they
uCdL VI SCC tAC". AT hSl nAoA LII AObC
they squat, at her call to food they
come, on the first day as on the tenth.
The habits of cleanliness of the nes-
things are established from the first
hour of their lives. When bird comes
to build it's first nest and to rear its
first brood it knows how to proceed,
as well as it does years later. or as
it's parents did before it. The fox is
afraid Of trap before he has had any
experience with it, and the hare
thumps upon the ground at the sight
Of anything strange and unusual,
whether its mates be within hearing
or not. 1t is true that the crows and
the jays might be called the spies and
informers of the woods, and that other
creatures seem to understand the
meaning of their cries, but who shall
presume to say that they have been in
structed in this vocation?
Mr.. Long would have us believe that
the crows teach their young to fly,
writes John Burroughs in the Atlantic
He might as well say that the rooster
teaches it's young to crow or that the
cock grouse teaches the young males
to drum. No bird teaches it's young
to fly. They fly instinctively when
their wings are strong enough.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
THE TUNE is OUR OWN.
A Few Remarks Concerning our Pat
riotic Songs.

A Few Remarks Concerning our Pat
riotic Songs.
Many Americans in visiting England
have been surprised and flattered when
a British military band has played the
air of America" and the English
crowd has risen to its feet and doffed
it's hats. Similarly, English visitors
to this country have got up and bowed
as to a compliment when an American
taken time in each case to convince
the hearer that "God Save the King
and America" have the same air. VI
course, the Briton has become indig-
nant over the theft of a national air,
forgetting that the colonies, with their
allegiance to a British king, had a
claim to the melody and on their re-
volt could fairly set their own new
words to it.
The charge of theft and of musical
poverty in America has inspired a
patriotic association in little Rhode
Island to offer a gold medal to any
body who shall compose a new and
"a better" air to DR.. Smiths inspir-
ing words. Rhode Island denies that
Great Britain is musical, and af1irms
that our own country (whose coon
songs as played by Sousa's band have
captured King and Queen, and become
the burden of every whistling news
boy, coster and clubman In London)
has degree of musical talent and cul-
ture which even Germany cannot rival
Therefore it is impatient under the
charge of stealing the most venerated
Of British melodies.
1t is vain, however, to hope for a
popular acceptance of a new tune for
America" The present air has been
sung on too many glorious and signif-
cant occasions to the words of our
heart-filling hymn to be surrendered to
the British. When we were forced
to break loose from that oppressive
mother we retained the common law,
the language, the absurd system of
weights and measures and whatever
seemed to our sires to be desirable. We
retained yankee Doodle" and the air
Of America" putting our own words
to each. More than a century and q
quarter has endeared to US these tunes,
and we shall keep them. When Gen.
eral Sherman visited Ireland he found
that the melody Of Marching Through
Georgia" belonged to an old Irish song,
but 1t has been hallowed to us by the
camp-fires of thousands of Grand
Army posts and is ours beyond sur
render.
Cultured musicians have complained
Of the quality Of our national airs,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05

which include America "Hail Go.
lumbia," "Tbe ssse,6pangled Banner"
columbia, the G.a. & the Ocean"
(which suggests that Columbia is an
isle) and several war songs. Still. they
have not been able to produce a mel
ody of such conspicuous merit as to
win instant popular admiration. 1t
may be association alone which en-
dears America" to us. but there is
no escape from the fact that we all
love it and are stirred by 1t; and we
shall cling to it in spite of any COM
plants from the unnatural mother
country which undertook to spank us
without provocation and lost us in con
sequence-Philadelp Record.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
DEAFNESS CANNOT BE CURED

By local applications, as they cannot reach the
diseased portion OF the ear. There is only one
way to cure deafness, and that is by eonstitu-
tional remedies. Deafness is caused by an in
famed condition of the mucous lining of the
Eustachian Tube. When this tube gets in
famed you have a rumbling sound or impeT-
feet hearing, and when it is entirely closed
deafness is the result, and unless the inf1amma-
tion can be taken out and this tube restored to
its normal condition, hearing will be destroyed
forever; nine cases out of ten are caused by
catarrh, which is nothing but an inf1amed
condition OF the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness Caused by oatarrh) that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for
circulars, free.
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by Druggists, 75c
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
THE THREE GIANTS.

The largest financial institutions in the world
are the three great Life Insurance Companies
OF New York, often called "The Three Giants -
During 1862 the mbined increase in amount
ofinsurance in force in Oregon in these three
companies wls 1864, 10000.
During the same time the Penn Mutual of
Philadelphia, made an increase of S., ,O28, ,I25 co.
There are good reasons for the popularity of
the Penn Mutual; send for free copyrighted
general agents, Marquam building, Portland,
Oregon.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
Broke Them of

Mr.. Bilby's children, the youngest
nine and the eldest fourteen years of
age, besought his permission to raise
bantam chickens, pleading that there
was plenty of room in the barn for that
purpose.
You have bothered me a long time
about that he said. "Now I'll agree to
let you do 1t on condition that you quit
calling your parents papa and mamma.
You are old enough now to begin call
ing us father and mother, as you
should. If you will do that, you may
go ahead and turn the barn into
chicken house."
They gave the promise readily enough;
but it was harder to keep than they had
foreseen.
The next day, while neighbor was
calling on Mr.. Bilby, the children came
rushing from the barn into the house.
"Papa," they exclaimed, "come out
and"
"Chickensr' he interrupted.
"Yes, we've got 'em, papa"
'Chickens!'
'That's what we were going to say,
papa
'Chickensw
.sWhy, papa"
"Chickensr'
''Yes, papa"
"Chickensw he interrupted again,
sternly.
Then they understood, and turned red.
"Yes-fa-father-com out and see
them"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
His STYLE,

Jeweler-Diamond shirt studs? Yes,
sir; here's set, neat little stones, for
$125.
Customer-Huh! Out home in Chi
cago l can get"
Jeweler-Ah! yes, pardon me. Here
you are Just look at these big fash
es-three karats each! Sell you the
set for $350-Philadelphi Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
A Russian BanknOte.

The 100 ruble note of Russia is
barred from top to bottom with all the
colors of the rainbow, blended as
when shown through a prism. In the
center in bold relief stands large,
finely executed vignette of the EN-
press Catherine /. This is in black.
The other engraving is not at all in
tricate or elaborate, but is well done
in dark and light brown and black
inks.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
Rattraps Better Than Cats.

1t is better to rely upon the trap for
catching rats than upon the cat. Pussy
is easily inoculated with any transmits
sible disorder, and the rat oIlen has on
hand, as it were, the very complaint
that may touch pussy's vital parts and
render her in the household the most
dangerous of all disease breeders.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
An Exclamation.

"What kept you so late?" asked the
physicians wife.
Coming down on the elevated road
my professional services were very
much in demand" replied the belated
M. D. Man in first car was overcome
by the heat and by the time got.
him Strengthened out another man was
discovered in the rear car almost froZ
en- to death"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
Jack SDratt.

Jack Spratt really lived and had the
same pr prejudice against fat as is at
tributed to him. Only his name was
not exactly Spratt, but Pratt, and he
was no less a person than an archdea-
con. The rhyme originally ran, arch
deacon Pratt could eat no fat, his wife
could eat no lean"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
Practical Admonitinn.

Old Dr. Grimshaw Ito medical stu
dent)-And now, remember that to a
physician humanity is divided into two
classes.
Student-And what are they, doctor?
Old DR.. Grimshaw-The poor wEom
he cures and the rich whom he doctors.
-Tit-Bits.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
Waiting for INSTRUCTIONS.

A mistress told her maid, Betsy,
that she must not always do things on
her own responsibility, but first ask
permission. The next day Betsy walk.
ed into the parlor, and said politely:
please, madam, the cat Is busy eat
ing up the duck In the pantry; must
drive her away Or not?"-Tit-Bits.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
HORRIBLY AFFLICTED WITH BoILs.

7 had O horrible
attack OF b oils
that broke out all
over my body and
from which 7
could get no pos.
sib1e relief until
7 b Q g an taking
your medicine,
and from my ex.
perienc Q 7 can
safely say S. 8. 8.
is the best blood
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
Popular Lecturers Aim.

"It Is your aim, of course" said his
intimate friend, "to make people
think"
NO." replied the lecturer, in a
burst of confidence, my business is to
make people think they think-or,
rather, to make them think 1 think
they think "-Chicago Tribune.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
His Reason for Suicide.

A New York man wrote as his rea-
son for attempting suicide that he had
consulted 25 doctors, but none was
able to cure him of asthma.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
Related Kindness.

Mr.. Smith Tin street car)-Madam,
take my seat.
Mrs. Jones (who has been standing
fifteen minutes)-No thanks; I get off
at the next corner.
Mr.. Smith-That's all right so do 1.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
Sure Enough.

Yeast-It's hard to keep good man
down.
rimsonbeak-That's why they put
such heavy monuments over some OF
them. I suppose.-Yonkers Statesman.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
Didn't Understand. .

Mrs. Swaggerton-My daughter
hasn't come out yet, you know.
Mrs Homeleigh-Indeed What was
she sent to prison orally Sloper.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
1t Certainly Would.

She--What happy world this woul-
be it,
He-if what?
Shelf men, could only believe all
they say.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
Must Have Been.

First Chappie-I wonder now, Chol-
lie. how the donkey ever came to be
used as emblem of stupidity?
Second Chappie with a yawn)-
Don't know, I'm sure, deah boy; must
have been before our day.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
The TOOTHBRUSH.

Soak new toothbrush for ten min
utes in cold water and thoroughly dry
it before using, for then the bristles
will be less likely to come out than if
this precaulion were omitted.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
The Manager Roalizes IL.

There is something elevating in
music" said the artist
eyes," answered the manager
Music certainly has the effect of slim
ulating lofty ideas as to salary"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
Vienna's Suicide Record.

Vienna almost always holds a world
record for suicide. In the first nine
months of last year ESQ men and SO
women succeeded in killing them
selves, and another 367 made Snsuc-
cessful attempts.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
Worst Yet.

Old Boarder-That's a queer looking
butter dish, Mrs. flasher.
Mrs. Hasher-Yes, and I'm awfully
proud of it, too. 1t has been in our
family for more than hundred years.
Old Bachelor-Indeed! Sort of heir
looms, as it were?
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
The Charitable Sex,

He--~#hat an exceptionally good
complexion Mrs. Fortyodd hasi
She-Yes; it's too good to be true.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
The Real Thing.

He-Did you ever see anything at
so-called bargain sales that was really
cheap?
She-Yes; the look On a mans face
who accompanied his wife to one of
them.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05

"The K1ean, Kool Kitchen Kind" of stoves
make no smoke, smell, SCOT, askes or excessive
, heat. Always look for trade mark.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05

Eff& Permanently CureQ 30 hrs or nervousness
1850 after first days of Dr. Kline's Great Nerve
2estorer Send for FREE trial bottle and treat
tse Dr. R. h KLINE Ltd a3l Arch St., Philadephia Pa
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05

Mothers will ino MRS. Rinsiow's Sooth.
ing Syrup the BEST remedy to use tor their
shildren during the teething period.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05

DlooQ ana strengthening the weak
places in your constitution. During the
cold winter months we are compelled
to live indoors and breathe the impure
air of badly ventilated rooms and of
fees. We over-work and over-eat, and
get too little outdoor exercise, and our
systems become c1ogged with impuri-
ties and the blood a hot-bed of germs
and humors of every kind, and warm
weather is sure to bring reaction,
and the poisonous matter in the blood
and system will break out in boi1s and
pustules or sca1y eruptions and red,
disfguring bumps and pimp1es. Make
a good beginning this season by taking
course of S. S. S. in time; it will not
only purify your blood and destroy the
germs and poisons, but promotehealthy
action of the Liver and Kidneys and
give you a good appetite at a time
when you need it most.
S. S. S. improves the digestion and
tones up the Stomach, and you are not
continually haunted by the fear of
indigestion every time you eat, or
troubled with dizziness, nervousness
and sleep1essness. There is no reason
to dread the coming of warm weather il
and the blood in normal, healthy col
blood that invites disease germs, mic,
bring on long train of spring and su
stitution, and produce weakness, lassit
Eczema, Acne, Nettle-rash, Poison
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05

For forty years Piso's Cure for Con-
sumption has cured coughs and colds. At
druggists. Price 25 cents.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
No Use at All.

He (who has offended her)-Won't t
you look up at me?
Shelf did, you'd kiss me again.
He-No; honest, l won't.
She-Then what's the use?
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
A Good Beginning

the blood is good condition at the beginning
resist disease and be troubled with bs
blackheads bohs itching
tornen drnis
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05

purifier in the world.
Mrs. NJ. P. SMYTHERS,
Wythevil1e, Va.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
A Reminder.

Dearborn-What have you got that
string tied about your finger for?
Wabash-Oh, I've been getting mar
ried, and my wife doesn't want me to
forget it.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05
The BEST TONIC AND APPETIZER.

While living in Sherman, Tex, Z be.
O a me q victim OF impure, watery
blood. Z ran down in appetite and
about and had to stop off and rest
occasionally. 7 took s. 8. 8. and be-
gan to improve at once, and after
thorough course became strong and
well.
I think 3. s.. 8. the best medicine Z
aver used as an appetizer and gem
eral tonic. J. Ct. SCOTT,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-05-05

you have your system well fortified
dition. It is the polluted, sluggish
obes and poisons of every kind and
inner ailments, break down the con-
lde, and other debilitating disorders.
)ak and Ivy, and other irritating skin
ance unless the humors and poisons
antidoted and the thin, acid blood
e rich and strong before the coming
arm weather.
A course of S. S. S. now would be
.fe precaution and a good beginning
enable you to pass In comfort
ugh the hot, su1try months and
nd summer. S. S. S. is guaranteed
: best blood purifier and the most in
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-09-25
Alias Summons.

State Of Montana. County of Flat
head, SIS.
In Justice Court of Kalspell Town
ship. Before NJ. j. Sullivan, JUS
tice of the Peace.
F. L. Albritton, Plaintiff, VS.. William
Jewell, Defendant.
The State of Montana to the above
named defendant, Greeting:
You are hereby summoned to ap
pear before me at my Office in Kalis-
pell, in the County of Flathead, on
the 18th day of October, 1903, at
10 o'clock a. m, in an action brought
against you by said plaintiff to an
swer the complaint of the above
named plaintiff.
The said action is brought to re-
cover judgment for the sum OF
Thirty and OO-1OO dollars, for profess
sional services as doctor, rendered
between April 1st, 1908, and July 10,
1903.
And you are hereby notified that If
you fail to appear and answer, judg.
ment will be taken against you &C
cording to the complaint.
To the Sheriff or any Constable OF
said County, Greeting; Make legal
service and due return thereof
Given under my hand this 10th day
of September 1908.
M. j. Sullivan,
A Justice of the Peace OF said Town
ship.
F. H. Greenman, Atty for Plaintiff
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-09-25
Alias Summons.

Alias summons.
State of Montana, County OF Flat
head, SIS.
In Justice Court of Kalispell Town
ship. Before M. J. Sullivan, JUS
tice of the Peace.
J. Arthur Lamb, Plaintiff, VS.. Will
lam Jewell, Defendant.
The State Of Montana to the above
named defendant, Greeting:
You are hereby summoned to ap-
pear before me at my Office in Kalis'
pell, in the County of Flathead. on
the 18th day of October, 1908, at
10 o'clock a. M, in an action brought
against you by said plaintiff to an
swer the complaint Of the above
named plaintiff.
The said action is brought to re-
cover Judgment for the sum of
Fifteen and 0O-100 dollars, for medi-
cal services, rendered as doctor, be-
tween May list, 1903, and July 22d
1903.
And you are hereby notified that if
you fail to appear and answer, judg-
ment will be taken against you &C
cording to the complaint.
To the Sheriff or any Constable OF
said County, Greeting; Make legal
service and due return thereof.
Given under my hand this 18th day
of September. 1908.
! M. ]. Sullivan,
A Justice of the Peace of said Town
ship.
F. H. Greenman, Atty for Plaintiff
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-09-25
Birdskin Garments.

Eskimo women wear the most Gu
rious kind of underclothing, its pecul-
iarity being that it is made of the
skins Of birds. These skins. before be-
ing sewed together, are chewed well
by the women in order to make them
soft. About hundred skins are re-
Quired to make a shirt, and the labor
of chewing the skins which form their
garments is quite enough to account
for the massive, we'll developed jaws
Of Eskimo women.