davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05
HIS COLLEGE TRIUMPH.
Not Much Success with Latin and Creek. But He Was Great
 on the Yell.

Hardgrind-Youa are going to send your boy to college, eh?
 lassleigh-Certainly
 What for?"
 Because I firmly believe that college is of inestimable benefit to any man"
 You do, do you?"
 of course dc. There can be no argu- ment about that
 "Oh, of course not We'll now let see how much your college education benefited you. How much of your Latin do you remembers"
 .Well-er-not very much. I'm afraid. " Huh. Of course not. How much Greek?"
 "Er-hum-well. 10 be frank, none at all"
 "Humph, Do you remember a work ing quantity of the higher mathematics? ?'
 "Doggone 'em, l remember used tc funk with painful regularity.
 Exactly. So whole lot of good your college education does you, don't it?"
 "Well-er- -hem-I-"
 "Oh, come. old man. own up"
 Well, by love, I'll bet they haven yet forgotten up at the old place how used to lead the college yell.'
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05
NEW IDEAS IN DRESS.
Modish Trifes That Are Meeting with Favor Among Deyotees of
 Fashion.

Ermine is also initiated in silk and is used for trimmings.
 Yokes and sleeves of evening gowns fare made of gold net.
 Jet chains are relieved here and there with small bead of gold.
 Fringes of other sorts. like chenille, wool and silk, are in for distinct re- Iyival
 Insects in jewels and in jeweled gun metal are worn as corsage and hair orna- Iments
 Moleskin and chinchilla are very sue eessfully initiated in a fine quality of plush.
 A new style of hand mirror shows one side ordinary glass and the other mag nifying. Some of the large collars are hemmed with chenille and trimmed with lace of the same hue.
 Panne de chine is new stuff, which lends itself to trimmings of tea gowns and 10 many other uses.
 An extreme mode of Parisian origin is the trimming of gowns and mantles with fringes made of fur
 A belt novelty is one of crushed leather with metal medallions united by chains in imitation of metal girdles.
 Ermine is employed as a trimming for Iall descriptions Of garments and is fre- quently mingled with mink and chin chilla.
 The Henri Deux hat, with pointed peak, high crown, and sharply turned up brim at the back, is greatly in favor just now.
 Spangled robes appear in brilliant col- brings such as red. blue and gold, the Isequins being closely massed in Van Dyke effect.
 Beco.ningness is the first rule with re- gard to a veil, and for general wear the most becoming is find diamondmeshed net, without spots.
 Navy blue is a leading color and re- lieving note is introduced in pipings. fac ings. strappngs and machine stitching in fawn, ivory and white.
 A heavy machine stitchery is being largely employed as decoration on the latest tailor mades of best repute. IL is inthenature of an ordinary stitch worked with very loose tension, and in close lines.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05
MENACE OF THE FOREST.
Continent Will Dry Up if Present De- structive Processes Continue
 Experience of old World.

The climatic history of the old world will repeat itself in America, says the National Magazine. If forest destruc- tion, at its present rate of recklessness. should continue much longer, our conti- nent will have to dry up. So will an orator who should venture to urge that fact upon a poodle legislature, in this era of lumber trusts. But the fact re- mains. and it's significance may be in- ferred from the experience of the Medi- terranean coast lands, where thousands of god gardens have been turned into Gehennas of wretchedness and desola tion. By tree destruction alone terri tory of 450000 square miles has been withdrawn from the habitable area of our planet The physical history of the eastern hemisphere is the history of a desert that originated somewhere near the cradle of the Caucasian race-in Bac- tria, perhaps, and. spreading westward and southward. has blighted the Edens of three continents like devouring nre and is now scorching the west coast of Africa and sending its warning sand clouds far out to sea-ard.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05
HE TOOK PIE IN HIS.
Kentucky Senator Had to Keep in Line with the Soft
 Drinks.

When it comes to story telling. Congress man Samuel l.. Powers, of Newton, can hold his own with any of them. The other night he related one which was much appreciated by those who heard it. says the Boston Post. The story Is about Senators Blackburn and Fairbanks and Secretary of the Treasury Shaw When the latter first came to Wash ington Senator Blackburn had some bust ness with the secretary. and while in the office met Senator Fairbanks. After the business was concluded Senator Blackburn invited the other two out to have hbation. and they accepted.
 All hands lined up against the bar of the Riggs house. Turning 10 Secretary Shaw, senator Blackburn said: What will you have, Mir Seeretary?2 Well. guess l Il have d glass of lemonade. was. the reply; The gentleman from Kentucky then turned to Senator Fairbanks and said: And what will you have, senator?" I'll have 2 ass of Moxie," was the reply. The bartender leaned over the counter and said to Senator Blackburn. And whats yours, senatorz "Oh." said the distinguished gentleman from the blue grass state, T guess I'll have a piece of squash pie.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05
sn ExampIe From France.

If the assailants of our soldiers could be shamed into deceRey the following words from the influential Paris Temps, in regard to the court-martial of Gen Smith, would be commended to their attention:
 -All comment is unnecessary. What is certain is that President Roosevelt is B man to defend the army against nniustified attacks, but. at the same time. to give full satisfaction to his own, his country's, and the worlds con science"
 The attitude thus outlined is the at titude of every American who respects himself and his country. But, unfor- tunately, there is another and pesti- lential sort of citizen.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05
TO CONTROL NERVOUSNESS.
Salvation of Those Affected Lies AL most Wholly with
 Themselves.

Nervousness is a disease as deeply rooted as many other diseases, and it is one that places woman at great CT personal disadvantage than almost any other disease. says American Queen.
 There are various stages of nervous ness from irritability to hysteria and nervous prostration, and all are due in a great degree to a lack of self-control, to the habit of giving way to every disturbing occurrence and eventually becoming a victim to petty inconyen- fence of fear.
 The salvation of the nervous woman lies almost entirely within herself. She should first realize how she must ap- pear 10 well-poised people-and if the realization would not be an incentive to reform, she is hopeless case.
 Much nervousness is caused by q tendency to dwell on unpleasant things One should control ones thoughts and not allow the mind to get into a nega- tive. fearful state.
 The mind responds promptly to sug- gestions by the will and it is in this way only that permanent cure can be effected. Turn your thoughts into a more positive, cheerful channel and note the result to your nerves. Take things coolly and do not imagine that the universe has conspired to torment you Realize that other people have the same conditions, and perhaps much worse things to contend with. and get out Of yourself" By such a means you VIII gain mental and physical boise and you will create a pleasant rather than dis cordant atmosphere.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05
Grape Catsup.

Take 12 pounds of ripe grapes, pick from the stem. wash and put into the preserving kettle with a pint of water. Let come to boil. mash and mix Strain through a fine sieve. Put back into the kettle with five pounds ot sugar and one quart of vinegar Let boil until thick. flavor with cloves and cinnamon, bottle and seal.-Prairie Farmer
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

Continuing, he says: .'I did not know the cause of the trouble, but l am led to believe now that it was first brought about by jumping in and out of the wagon and in some way l may have strained my back.
 "I was constantly growing worse," he continues, "and I became very much alarmed about my condition. I knew that something had to be done or serious results were sure to follow. I went to a specialist here in Sherman. and under went a rigid examination
 Then he relates how the doctor told him that it was serious case. but that be could cure him for fifty dollars.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05
SuIphsr in Mexico,

The consumption of sulphur in Mexi- CD exceeds 100000 kilograngmes an- nually, moro tl7an half of whth is im- ported. although there are in various parts of Mexico immense deposits of sulphur as ye5 unworked.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

The maneuvers at Fort Riley, Kas,, in the attack and defense of a convoy, proved to be highly successful, according to the umpire.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

UOM II ny lell leS as far as the knee" This is precisely what kidney trou- ble will do with the body.
 It does not al- ways show itself at first. but ap- pears just in this way, when some unusual movement or action brings sharp pains and exhaustive aches, telling of sick kid neys.
 So MT. Plang-
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

Do not believe Piso's Cure for Consump- tiou has an equal for coughs and colds.-J I. Boyer. Trinity Springs. Ind, Feb. l5, 1900
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

their speedy and certain action.
 Early indications of kidney trouble come from two sources, the back and the bladder. The back becomes weak and lame be- cause the kidneys are dck, and re- lief from backache can only be com plete when the kidneys are set right.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

The secret of susaess is constaney to pur- ose-Dlsraei.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

ORTHY of a high CT recommendation than 1 can find words to express"
 This is what MT. J. H. Plangman (of Sherman, T 6 x.)
 says of Doan's Kidney Pills. He
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05
Stnnr theCOug

and works off the cold Laxative Promo Quinine Tablets Price % cents
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

Putnam Fadeless Dyes color more goods, per package, than others.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

Throw all you cares in the deep, deep sea. And thereafter do not go fshing.-N 0. Times Democrat.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

However, necessity knows no law and Mir Plangman paid half down and took the treatment and followed it faithful ly for four weeks.
 Naturally he thought that he would soon be rid of the trouble. but in spite of the doctoring he goes on to add. II was in such misery that it was almost impossible for me to do my work"
 "It was at this juncture that Deans
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05
lM0ugatI had

neys. and thus making the action of the kidneys regular and natural.
 Aching backs are eased Hip. back. and Join pains overcome. S~elling of the limbs, rleuna- isni and dropsy signs vanish.
 They correct arine wth brick-dust sediment, high-colored, e1cessige, pain in passing. dsib- bling, frequency. Dodn's Kidney Fills dissolvs and reinope calcuH and grd0el. Releee heart palpitation, Sleeplessness, headache nervousness.
 Foster -Milburn Co.,, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

Fair words never hurs tAe tongue.-Ghap- man.
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

Kidney Pills came
 to my notice and 1
 procured some from
 the drug store of c.
 E. Craycroft. I
 used these pills
 according to direc-
 tions and to my
 surprise I was con-
 siderably relieved on the second day
 and in a short time completely cured" =. This Is the uni- versal experience of those who have been sufferers from
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

Tie restless are seldom resistless.-Ram' 8 Horn
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

tells his experience in the following words: He says, Sometime in Septem- Der l was taken with dull aching pain across the small of my back, directly over the kidneys. paid small attention to this at first, thinking it would pass off. But instead of getting better 1t
 became worse and in a short time the pain centered through my left hip and
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05
w. l., DOUGLAS
 s3.so & 8 SHOES SsISN SsBf.
You can save from S3 to S5 yearly by wearing W. L. Douglas S3.50 or S3 shoes.

They equal those that have been cost ing yen from S4.00 10 S5.m. The im- Inense sale of W. l.. Douglas shoes proves ttststr superiority over all other makes.
 Sold by retail shoe dealers everywhere. Look for name and price on bottom.
 That Douglas uses Ger. 7oaa Colt proves there Is vatas in Douglas shoes. Corona is the highest i grade Pat.Leathermade,
 BQxf Gpi0p E5fe1sfx ,.ss,Y
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

Irritation of the bladder shows that the kidneys are out of order. Delay in prompt attention often causes seri- ous complication.
 Relieve and cure sick kidneys and ward off dangerous dia betes, dreaded dropsy and Bright's disease. by using D O a n S Kidney Pills.
 They begin by healing the delicate membranes and re- ducing any infiam- nation of the kid
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

Kidney troubIe and Who nave been for- tunate enough to test the merits Of Doan'S Kidney Pills.
 There is nothing wonderful or mag ical about this remedy, it simply does the work by direct action on the kid neys. Doan's Kidney Pills are for the Kidneys only and this accounts for
The Monticellonian., 1903-11-05

 Lydia E. Pnkas
  would bed bed before Pnkhams table
  able do befoe health It indeed I
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-04-19
WOULD IMPEACH
THE GOVERNMENT
British Columbia Cabinet
Charged With Fayoring
Canadian Pacific.

VICTORIA, B. c., April 1S.-John
Oliver, M. P. p, will move resolution
Monday next charging that the premier
and members of the government have
been guilty of willful perversion of
facts and are not worthy of the con-
fidence of the house as ministers of the
crown" The resolution charges that
the government, by misstatement of
facts for the purpose of deceiving
the legislature, is endeavoring to alien
ate 625,OO0 acres of land in Southeast
Kootenay. which is rich in coal and
petroleum, to the Canadian Pacific
railway.
Last session the government brought
down a bill giving the Canadian Pa
cffic about 900 acres as subsidy.
An order in the council was passed in
which crown grants were made, not of
lands contiguous to the railway, as
provided by the subsidy act, but to
lands in Southeast Kootenay, selected,
it is said, by the Canadian Pacific rail-
way. 1t is for alleged misstatement of
facts in this bill to ratify this arrange
ment that Mr.. oliver is asking the
house to impeach the premier and
members Of the government.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-04-19
RE-ESTABLISHING
ARMY DIVISIONS
Department of Dakota May
Be Included in Middle
Division.

WASHINGTON, D. c., April 1S.-A
movement has been started to re-es-
tablish military divisions in this coun-
try with several departments included.
1t has received the Endorsement of high
officials and probably will be taken up
in few days, perhaps after the re-
turn of Secretary Root to Washing
ton and Maj. Gen. Corbin from st.
Louis.
According to the scheme proposed
and recommendations made there are
to be three divisions, the Eastern or
Atlantic, the Missouri or Mississippi
and the Pacific. Each will be in COM
mand of a major general of the army.
The Atlantic division will be composed
of the present department of the East,
divided into two departments, the old
department of the gulf to be re-estab-
lished, with headquarters at Atlanta,
Ga. The middle division is to be COM
posed of the present departments of
the lakes, Missouri, Dakota and Texas,
while the Pacific division will be COM
posed of the departments of California,
Columbia and Colorado. Probably diff
ferent geographical lines will be adopt
ed to secure the best results.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-04-19
MINNEAPOLIS
WHERE TO GO
CYCLING TODAY

The weather will probably be show
cry today. The cycle paths are in fair
condition as is here shown:
Como path to park and around the
lake is in excellent condition.
Fort Smelling path, on Seventh street.
IS In good condition as far as the old
shot mill; from there on to the fort it
is badly cut up by cattle and wagons
Cleveland avenue path is almost ruined
by cattle and wagons. Path all the Way
to Minneapolis in excellent condition.
White Bear and Lake Phalen path to
the lakes is in fair condition; slightly
injured by cattle in places.
Summit Avenue Path-This path is
the best in the city; good as in the
middle of summer
Paths in good condition; slightly in
Jured by farmers heavy wagons.
Highwood = This path is in bad
shape; is greatly damaged by heavy
rains and cattle.
Smelling g-Minnehaha-Path is in good
condition.
Lake Street-This path is in good
shape all the way to the lakes.
Minnehaha-Lake Calhoun path is in
fine condition.
Lake Minnetonka Path is fair;
slightly cut up by farmers and their
cattle.
Shakopee-This path is in very good
shape, the farmers along it have taken
every care not to injure it, and have in
places put up fences to protect it from
wandering cattle.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-04-19
NO SLIGHT TO THE
GERMANS INTENDED
Berlin Newspaper Bitterness Calls
Forth Washington Explanation.

BERLIN, April 18. - The German
press does not distinguish between the
visit of the United States European
squadron to Marseilles and the pro-
gramme planned for the United States
North Atlantic squadron, on behalf of
which the American government de-
clined an invitation to visit Kiel durS
ing the coming regatta there. There
fore, some wonder is expressed as to
why special honors are shown the
French president by the American
navy, Immediately following the re-
fusal Of the German emperor's request"
one or two papers express themselves
bitterly on the subject and say the
Germans do not miss much in not
having q sight of the American ships"
WASHINGTON, D. c., April 18-It
is announced at the navy department
that the European squadron, which Is
to be present at the naval demonstra-
ton at Marseilles upon the return Of
President Loubet from Northern Af-
r1ca, will go north and be present at the
ktel celebration. The criticism Of Me
German press concerning the supposed
declination of the United States to
send the North Atlantic battleship
squadron to iKel is said officially to be
based upon a misconception, and 1t is
further stated that Secretary Moody,
together with the president and Secre-
tary Hay, is desirouS of doing some
thing to show the friendship of the
United States for Germany and to re-
ciprocate the kindly expressions for
America that have come directly from
Emperor William.
No formal invitation from the Ger
man government to send an American
squadron to Kiel was ever received.
But through some official channels in
t1mations did reach Washington that
the German emperor would be pleased
to have the North Atlantic squadron
stop at Kiel during the naval demon
straton. Failing in that, it was In the
same informal way suggested that
when Admiral Evans retired from his
command in Asia and started to return
to the United States on his battleship.
the Kentucky, the emperor who was
well acquainted with him, would be
glad to have him touch at some Ger
man seaport. Circumstances conspired
to make it impossible to meet either of
the hints thrown out from GERMANY
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-04-19
WILL GERMANY HIT
CANADA AGAIN?
Two Views of the Result of
the Dominion's Tariff
Retaliation.
Special Gable to The Globe.

BERLIN, April 1S.-Canada may ex-
pect prompt retaliation on account of
it's action in raising the tariff on Ger
man products. The proposal is ascrib-
ed to Canadian pique at the loss of
st-favored-natio rights which Ger
many inflicted on the Dominion after
1t had granted a preferential tariff to
Great Britain. in consequence of which
Canadian exports to Germany practi-
cally ceased. Speaking of the situa-
ton, the Vossische Zeitung says:
Such tactics will fail to improve
the position Of the Canadian export
trade. Not a bushel more grain will
come to Germany in the future. In
the past our exports to Canda, despite
the preferential statement of England
had grown while English trade stood
still. Canadians must say for them
selves whether they can bear the loss
Of the German market with as much
equanimity as that with which we con-
template the effect of their unconsid-
cred STEP"
"The strained position of German
Canadian trade relations" said the
i1Scpldll, LOT WHICH lHe canadians
are alone to blame is due to their i'm
perialistic tendencies. We shall nat
urally be compelled to meet their lat
est maneuvers with retaIiatory meas
ures."
BERLIN, April 1S.--Canada's impo-
sition of a surtax on German goods
was not unexpected in ministerial
quarters here, where the step is not re-
garded as changing the trade relations
to any great extent, since Canada re-
Gently has only been buying such ar
t1cles from Germany as were not OBJ
tainable elsewhere. The preferential
duty accorded to Great Britain has al
ready placed Germany at disadvan-
tage. Nothing is likely to be done by
the German government, as 1t is rec
ognized that it is nothing more than
might have been expected from Ger
many's exclusion of Canada from the
most-faVored- nation treatment.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-04-19
IRISHMEN IMPRESS
ENGLAND PROFOUNDLY
Different Feeling Inspired by the Con-
vention in Dublin.
Special Cable to The Globe

Special Gable to The Globe
LONDON, April 18-Irelands great
national convention, wherein nearly
5000 delegates behaved with all the
decorum of the best regulated delibera-
tive assemblies in the world, has made
profound impression on England. II
has created surprise in all quarters,
qualification in many and dismay in not
few. The surprise and qualification
belong to the progressive democratic
elements. the surprise and dismay to
the reactionary aristocratic elements.
Both classes, whatever may be the
professions of isolated persons, see in
the demonstration in Dublin the pos
sible augury Of Ireland's advance to-
ward self government. Responsible
1rishmen declare that Anglo-Irish re-
lations are in too delicate a state to
warrant unreserved comment The
force Of this view Is apparent since the
votes of the Unionists are required to
pass the land bill in such shape as will
be satisfactory to Ireland However,
the chiefs of the Irish party are un-
opC"hoo1y lCJOiCSQ dI tiG lulelllSenCe
and discipline of the Dublin conven-
ton.
'It is not a constitutional phenome-
non," said one of them, "but a phe-
nomenon that reaches deeper than con-
stitutions. Ireland is on the way to
home rule. Indeed, the land bill itself
is essentially a home rule measure
which originated in Ireland from an
T,i1
from every part of the country have
passed upon it and unless it's final form
meets their views it will come to
irac