The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-04
IAN and the Short Pipe

cloud. and the artist stayed his pencil
until it should be dissipated- The 81
lence again became heavy.
At length l found il oppressive, and
by way of tightening it, asked him if
he remembered that story about the
Golden Arm. with which he used TO
terrorize people who came 10 hear him
lecture
Now. I'm glad you mentioned that.
! he said, deliberately. You know ! de-
} light TO tell that story. I've retired
from all public speaking entirely. I
never go any place or appear in pub
lie unless I have TO- but now and then
1 do love TO tell that story
And his eyes lighted reminiscently.
Sometimes / go TO the houses of
friends of mine in New York 20 get a
chance to tell a story or two-I can't
help doing it just once in awhile. I go
on condition that nothing shall be said
about ii before or afterward in the
newspapers, for if mention was made
Of il people would say: That dad
/ blamed old liar said he was never go
] ing on the platform again. and here
] he is just the same as ever. But / do
/ love to tell that story. ] am going 10
/ talk 10 some friends before Iong-I
/ have half an hour to fll-and that will
4 fill up three Of six minutes 7 was short.
/ Now. if / can just get another story
/ for the other three minutes, I'll be
fixed
/ Whoever viii have the privilege of
4 listening 20 that story may esteem
! themselves among the favored ones Of
( the earth. / heard him tell it in
] western town when be made his trip
around the world to get money to pay
off his debts
/ When he came to the climax the au-
I dience jumped back as one person.
starting loose every seat in the house.
so the janitOr had to come around the
next morning and screw them down
/ again.
But Tn out of public life now
/ continued the author, lighting his pipe
/ and putting until his white head
/ showed as in a fog, darkly. Il have
; a very happy time here, all to myself
1 shall never go far away again.
Il should not have gone to Missouri
! last June if I had not gone to get a
4 decoration. I think when an institu-
( ton, especially in a mans native state,
offers to confer a decoration on him, it
| is equivalent TO a royal invitation: it's
a command. He ought to go, If he has
TO go in a hearse.
But when I see some of these old.
these very old, fellows going from one
/ side OF the earth to the other TO get
! degrees it does seem hard. Some al
lowance should be made for their
years. The universities ought TO mail
/ them the decorations
Davenport. who had up to this time
been shifting from one chair TO an
other, trying TO get a firm grip on the
elusive features of the speaker, here
gave tongue.
Mr. Twain" he said. "PH bet you d
have given a good deal to be where 1
| was a few years ago, down in Jack
sons canyon, where you heard them
tell that Jumping Frog story"
Yes" said the humorist. extracting
a match from box on the table and
lighting 1t and his pipe with the single
motion known only to the Iongseasoned
pipe smoker; yes, would How did
you happen to go down there?"
Il went down for the Examiner.
They found a cave full of bones down
there Nothing but bones in it-Indian
bones, skulls and ribs and legs and
arms. They'd been there so long
they'd go to pieces like a played-out
horse on the home stretch if YOU
touched one of them"
And I suppose the scientists out in