The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-09-30
THE DOCTORS JOKE.
From the Chicago Daily News:

From the chicago Dally news.
DR.. Spoonacre is a physician of high
standing and wide reputation and of
an age sufficient to inspire respect. but
that does not prevent his professional
brethren from having what they call
"a little fun" with him occasionally.
The worthy doctor enjoys the fun as
much as any of them. the more as
he has a knack of shifting any little
joke, practical or otherwise, so that
the laugh is rather against the per-
petrators. DR. Spoonacres appear
ance is quite striking. He is tall, has
strong, handsome features, a fine, we'll
trimmed gray beard, distinguished
carriage and a perfectly bald head.
The last item of the description is
the purely material one. His bald
ness is the subject on which the con-
frereSs for years have exercised their
wits. 1t is the badness of the proven
bal billiard ball of the china egg, of
the bolt head, of the peeled onion
such a fine pale pink. glistening eX-
panse of scalp that it is a miracle that
d hat can stay on it without slipping.
One of the jokes, in fact, took the form
of a hat with an inside band of sand
paper.
one morning the doctors mail con-
tanned a letter from a man in Gales
burg. 1t was as follows;
Dear Sir: For the last six years
1 have been suffering from some scalp
disease, which has caused my hair
to fall out until there is very little
of it left. Up to that time l had as
good a head of hair as anybody.
am not so yet, so it can't be old age
that is doing it. 1 have tried the doc
tors here and have rubbed on enough
tonics to paint a barn without its do
ing me any good. So, knowing you
by reputation and through a friend,
1 want you to see if you can help me.
1 will go to Chicago if you say so
or l will take treatment from you here.
Hoping to hear from you soon, l
am yours respectfully, John Smith"
DR.. Spoonacre read the letter over
carefully, then he smiled and said,
Aha"
Yes" he continued, after a mo-
ments examination of the signature,
that's Peters. He's a high-class hu-
morst, is Peters. l wouldn't wonder
if he had a bet on this. Well, we'll
see"
Before he started on his morning
round among his patients he went to
his desk and wrote the following reply
TO Mr.. Smith:
Dear Sir: have your letter of
undertake your case were it not, in
my opinion, one that demands the care
and treatment of a specialist. If you
contemplate a visit to Chicago, l
heartily recommend an interview with
Jones. You will find him at - State
street. His success is putting hair on
heads that nature or disease has de-
nuded of that ornamental and useful
substance has, as hundreds can vouch,
been remarkable. l have no hesita-
ton in saying that you cannot do
any better than see him. Your very
truly. John Spoonacre."
The doctor chuckled as he affixed
the stamp to the letter. There, Bro
Their Peters. he said. lets see what
you will make out of that"
About a week later DIR. Peters called
at DR.. Spoonacre's Office to talk over
case in which they were both interes ted
and in which there had been some Gu
rious developments. He found the
waiting room crowded as usual, but the
decorous silence was broken by loud
and angry voice proceeding from the
consulting room and the patients were
looking at each other in CONSERVATION.
1T was a low-down trick!" shouted
the voice.
A lower voice seemed to expostulate.
Mad OF course I'm mad" con-
for a respectable physician, not a fool
Joker. and 1 consult you about my bald
ness. 1 see you're as bald as a band
box yourself, but if you think it's fun
ny, I don't"
mo. l don't know your DR.. Peters.
Never heard of him and l don't see that
it would make any difference if I had.
If he plays jokes on you l don't see
that that's any reason why you should
play them on me-
II tell you there's no mistake and you
can't explain. You write me to consult
hair specialist that you recommend
highly and l make trip from Gales
burg to Chicago for the special purpose.
1 go to the address you give me and
what do find there? A wigmaker by
George!"
There was another muffled talk from
the doctor and then the loud voice re-
sumed in more placated tones:
We'll, of course, if you pay my ex-
penses that will be something. But I
don't think it vas the right thing to
do"
Shortly after this the door opened
and DR.. Spoonacre rather red in the
face, appeared ushering out another
extremely bald man. At the same mo-
ment the young woman attendant
handed him DR.. Peters card. He look
ed up and his eyes met those of his
fellow practitioner. He hesiteted for
an instant and then said, "Well, come
in, Peters"
-Daughter-What is the dead letter
Office mamma?