Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-05
OBJECTED TO ONIONS

81 met q relative Of mine-pretty close
| one-that I'd never seen before, when I got
back to Washington the other day." said
an army officer who returned from a tour
OF duty IN the Philippines recently. ''The
relative happened to be son Of mine. He
was born a couple Of months after made
the start for the islands three years ago.
III leave 1t to you to figure how eagerly
had been peering forward to having a look
at that fellow during the long days and
the longer nights OF those fnterminable
three years. The eagerness was the more
acute because he's my first young one.
And I guess maybe 1t didn't feel pretty
good when I at last found myself on the
train this side of the Alleghanies and only
a few hours away from that little shaver
stranger and his mother.
Il was due in Washington about IL
O'Clock at night, and they tackled the dining
car on somewhere around Harrisburg. l
was hungry for United States food, as l
had been for three years, and didn't seem
to be able to get enough OF 1t. One of the
things that made an instant hit with me
on the table Of that dining car was a nice
long dish full Of fne-looking spring onions,
Uttered up with tiny particles of ice. Those
onions were mighty attractive and appetite
tng-looking. can tell you, to a natural
born lover of onions who hadn't tasted a
spring onion for more than three years.
And yet 1 looked those onions over for
quite while before tackling them. 1t was
SO long since had seen my wife that was
figuring that I'd probably have to begin
counting her all over again, and thought
to myself, as I gazed wolf1shly at those
onions on the nice long dish, that it would
be pretty poor beginning for me to hike
into my wffeS arms with the powerful and
prosaic effiuvia of spring onions on my
breath.
II grieve to state. however. that the
onions won out. simply couldn't resist
EN-. gobbled up the whole plateful. re-
solving that when I met my wife and she
noticed the aroma I'd simply have to throw
myself on the mercy Of the court.
We'll. my wife was at the station. of
course. to meet melt was pretty nigh mid
night. She was too busy looking me over
and commenting upon my coat of bronze
to mention the onions, even If she had no
ticed em. and she had too much to tell me
about the kid, anyway, as we sped uptown
on the street cars.
1.-The kid was asleep. of course, and when
we slipped into his room and turned up the
gas l suppose, maybe, 1 didn't take good.
long look at the little tike-and maybe,
also, there wasn't a lump about the size Of
an old-fashioned gourd just at the point
where my front collar button presses
against my neck.
Then I grabbed the still sleeping kid out
Of the bed. He opened his eyes and sur
veyed me with a calm scrutiny, while l
gave him hug. Then he turned his head
away from me. with a very decided express
sion of disapproval. This hurt his mother,
and she instantly said to him:
why, Jackie. that's your papa!
1.-THE kid turned his head away from me
In the other direction and struggled to be
turned loose.
"I don't care who he is, he replied in
the calmest accents imaginable. L amt
a-goin' to let nobody blow onions all over
met"