The Minneapolis journal., 1903-12-28
THE NONPAREJL MAN

TIE NONPAREJL MAN
The Glorious Old Sub-zero Winter and Its
Manifold splendors and charms-Who
Would Exchange the Pine for the
Palm and LoIl LuxuriousIy In Tropic
cIimes-(We Would 1t We Had the
Necessary Money!.
Talk about your warm Cbristmases in
Havana or I'm Sunny Africa" the roses
and palm trees growing in the front yard,
your rich tropical gardens and the joys
Of life out Of doors! Who would give up
the chill, biting cold Of the north, the sift-
ing snow. the blazing hearth, the fir trees
bending beneath their loads of snow, the
plume Of smoke from the chimney in the
chill wintry air, the glow and sparkle of
the winter night, the blue haze on the dis
tant hills, the delicate tracery of the
frost? Who, did you ask, would give
them up? - $3.50 -.~~ 7-.
Why we would if we had the dough.
Mark Twain has been telling how to
be lecturer. Don't try, to learn he
says, start in just as you are. Let your
hands stay where they are-in your
breeches pockets. When Gable and I went
on the lecture stage we thought it was
necessary to make graceful, genufections
to drive in our points; so we hired teach
er Of elocution at $25 day to .shcw us how.
to work arm and hand effectively. I got
50 could make a beautiful gesture. but
was so busy thinking about them that I
forgot what wanted to say
Nothing Is so tiresome as a man with
a flow Of words who is all the time waving
two large red du-claws around In the
air. 1t distracts attention and the grace
fuller it is done the worse it looks. If
you've got anything to say, say it; if you
haven't, sut up. We've all seen orators
that we <longed to see the fire departna ent
squirt on. *-as
. The Adrian Democrat recommends froz-
en- crab apple cider. If we remember
against the peace and dignity Of Sagada-
hoe county.
If something doesn't happen pretty soon
now the democrats will have for an issue
in 1904 the small boys definition Of a va
cuum-''nothing locked up in an empty
box
A new book is the Devils Letters to
Mary MacIane.' So you see Mary raised
the Devil with her book.
Professor MacClintock of Chicago, says
that one trouble with college life is that
it brings about a forced culture" caus-
ing ''conceit self consciousness, imitation
Of older mems disillusions." etc. When
we got into that gang on the street Car
about three minutes after the football
fight it didn't seem to us that much cul-
ture had been forced on them. Perhaps
We were wrong.
nj iS
planned that it ought not to have the
union label on it..
We secured large hole in our stocking.
The story that a millionaire had poor
mans ear grated on his own wealthy
and high class mob is now denied. A
strong armed String tiend' sent the
story ont. The doctor in the case says
that he never heard Of it and, besides that
| he adds that ears cannot be grated in thai
way or in any other. These long distance
| liars ought to be looked up by the law
and grated on to little penal servitude
A story like that is likely to. cause some
Texas doctor to try the grating expert
ment, thus causing untold suffering fol
no purpose
1 Next year. 1904, is said to be leap yeal
and the ladies are once more permitted te
/ have SO far escaped.
Colonel Pease of the Anokar Union il
/ feeling pretty good. The boys are mo-
! only paying their subscriptions. but arr
holding out the friendly mitt. Ehe Unions
/ Street tTalker'' says:
4 Be gobs, I'm feeling first rate. Within th;
| past three months the Union has received more
4 praise than kicks and cuffs, and II wasn't st
/ |oyerburdened With modesty should be tempted
| to print some of the real nice things said abnu
the paper. We space PLIERS are Just as 5suscepti
bic to rraise as other men, and somehow whei
we receive a letter. containing words Of encour
agement and Endorsement expressed in pretty sen
tment, it somehow lghtens our burdens an.
ard our work was not altogether in vain. !
1T IS a good deal nicer than to have ,
gang hanging around with a pot Of no
tar and rail and breathing out threaten
/ ings.
4 Wadena had a strictly woman's gather
ing last week in the halt and mo MAJ
was allowed to look" Half Of the ladie
in attendance wore masculine garments
this attire having been borrowed. begged o
stolen. Editor Verify Of the Walden
Tribune claims to know all about "wHh
was Who" but is being "implored not t
publish it, He does say. however. tha
one of the costumes represented .Whe
4 Reuben Comes to Town. Judging by MI
Verity's description of this costume TIL
!. !-hal at Wadena must have been prett