davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19
Ihn Isnnl plnNesl.

General Custer believed IN having
martial music on all possible occasions.
lie would have the band out at .
o'clock in~ the morning and the last
thing in the evening one day when a
regiment had just come into camp Gen
eral Custer ordered the band out The
men were tired and reported that they
had lost the mouthpieces of their in
struments.
VERY we'll" said the general, you
may take pickaxes and shovels and
help repair the roads. You may hnd
the missing mouthpieces while you are
working" 1t is unnecessary to state
that the band played soon after.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19
The Canary's Claws.

IF you have canary or other cage
bird look to its claws from time to time,
for In state of captivity the birds
nails grow so long that they need cut
ting. II this be neglected the bird is In
danger of getting its nails caught in the
cage and hanging there till 1t dies. Use
a sharp pair of nail scissors and take
care not to cut more than just the
tips of the nails. If you hold the bird
in a good light you will see little RED
thread" in each nail. This you must
avoid or you will draw blood and hurt
your little pet.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19


The tipping habit is bad enough ev-
anywhere, and is worse In Europe than
here. In the eighteenth century it was
q greater evil than 1t is now. A writer
in the Cornhill Magazine tells some
stories to illustrate the old condition
of things.
In Edinburgh in 1760 the Society of
be forbidden to take tips and members
be forbidden TO give them, This exam
pie was followed by other clubs and
societies. Today there is the rule in
most clubs against feeling the servants.
An eccentric Irish gentleman, Lord
Taaffe used TO attend his guests to the
door, and If they offered any money to
the servants who were lined up with
the guests baggage, the host would
say, IF you give, give 1t me, for it was
/ that did buy the dinner"
A well known colonel while sitting
at dinner inquired the names of the
hosts servants For" said he, Il can
not pay them for such a good dinner,
but should like to remember them In
my will"
Another eccentric gentleman, after
patiently redeeming his hat, sword,
cane and cloak, to the very bottom OF
his purse, turned to the two remain
ing servants who were waiting ohse-
uuiously each with glove, and said
affably: keep those. l will not trou-
bic to buy them back. They are old
and not worth n shilling
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19

An exchange tells story of 4 farm
er who had decided to sell his proper
ty and listed it with "A real estate agent
who wrote very good description of
the place. When the agent read it to
the farmer for his approval the old
man said, 'read that again. After
the second reading the farmer sat for
several minutes in thoughtful mood,
aud finally said "a don't believe /
want toseIn / have been looking for
that kind of a place all my life, and it
never occurred TO me that had it until
you described it to me, No, / don t
believe / want to sell
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19
More Than Familiar.

as my daughter familiar with the
great composers" asked Mrs. Cumrox
madam" said the music teacher
with q look of desperation, 'she is not
merely familiar with them; she is i'm
pertinent. "-Washington Star
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19
RCven gC.

"That fat man." complained the
scales. "simnly knocked -'Ne q. cat of
keIer.
"Wen" replied the candy machine
near by, ''now you can lie In weight
for the next one that comes along.
philadelphia Press.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19

Il see you advertise for a donkey"
said the man who looked as il he had
something for sale.
"Oh, yes" said the busy man, stop
ping his work for a minute to look up
but want one with four legs. Dos
ton Journal
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19
Inheritcd.

"And now" said Professor Long
hunter as he greeted Henry Peck,
what shall we make OF your little boy
"a lecturer? He has a sincere taste
for it,
~ know he has," replied the male
parent. HE inherits 1t from his moth
er."-Schoolmaster.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19
Rather gave him Away.

Fond Father showing of his Off
springs intelligence Now, Elsie dear,
what is. eat?
elsie Dunno.
Fond Father Well, what's that fun
nv little animal chat comes creeping
up the stairs when every ones in bedf
Elsie lpromptlyl--pap
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19

young Or. Fledgeling doesn't seem
very certain of himself"
"Why, no. | think he feels like
calling consultation every time he
has to make diagnosis, Brooklyn
Life.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19
The Latin Quarter of Today.

The Latin quarter of today is as full
of individual character as the same
ground in the middle ages. One writer
says Paris only possesses two really
Nd Municipalities, the student
-ntte. Not but that student
,"uging its outward
No university
"anging
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19

George see nothing for us but to
elope. Do you think your father would
forgive us?
Ethel-I'm sure he would.
George-How can you be sure?
Ethel felt little nervous on that
score and-I asked him.-Pick Me Up
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19
Unkind.

as that my umbrella you haveT"
'Most likely. I've just bought 1t In
O pawnshop."
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-06-19
F. G. Mcintyre, Eagle River
Oyer-WOrk Weakens
Your Kidneys.
Unhealthy Kidneys Make Impure Blood.

All the bloodin your body passes through
your kidneys once every three minutes.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-04-04
BUSINESS LOCALS.
sanford and see right.

: See Sanford and see right
Flower pom pons given away with
ladies' trimmed hats at sachs's.
Today waterwings given away with
chiIdren's trimmed hats at Sachs's.
Mrs. Hanna is having special sale
OF ribbons: real bargains; Union street.
Lady employed during the day desires
room and board in private family; see
our classified ads
o. p. S. and KeIlogg'S in quantities
to suit at Comes & McTighe; order
through phone 14o.
number Of ho-ses and mules viii
be sold at noon today In front of Nor
gan's auction rooms
Seventeen shares OF First National
Bank stock are to be sold at auction
today by James F. Morgan.
A purse containing a sum OF money.
tewelry, etc. was lost yesterday on
Reretania street. A reward awaits the
finder at the Star office.
few furnished or unfinished cot
tages on Fort street. just above Vine
yard. are offered for rent. For terms
call at the New Era Hotel.
A large stock OF large green Mexican
Queen olives sold in bulk by Metrop9l'
itan Meat Company; so cents quar-
at Metropolitan Meat Company
A. A. Montana, in the Arlington block
offers for sale all dress and miiliner,
goods, show cases. counters, shelving
mirrors. curtains. carpets. tables. sew
ing machines. pleaters. dress forms
wax figures. hat stands. dress and ha
boxes; also lease OF store.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-04-04
LOCAL BREvlTIEs.

-s, has been appointed
sergeant in the First Regi-
rnent.
e. reported from Maui that Judge
-. = 20 be a candidate for sheriff
in TIE event that the County OH o
comes a law.
THO trustees of oahu College are con-
-na advisabnity of adding a
manual training department 10 inc
school curriculum
Judge Gear yesterday appointed L. :.
AvIett TO temporarily perform the ou-
,is. Of district magistrate at Koolau-
loa during the illness Of Judge . A
luhi.
elections are to be held in the Ma
.,ona, Guard as Follows: Tuesday, April
I'm. in Co. F. captain to succeed sam
Johnson; wednesday, April Sth' In Co
for first and second lieutenants to
succeed ]. b. German and NJ. NJ John
SON respectively. who have been pro-
noted
Auditor Fisher has declined TO pay
out the fire claims expense approprla-
ton owing to the manner in which the
81 ooo was withdrawn from the Riggs
National Bank at washington by AS
sistant Secretary Taylor. The bill re-
oufres vouchers but the money has all
been drawn already and presumably
without vouchers. Secretary Carter has
made arrangements so there will be
no trouble on this score and win pay
the drafts as fast as they arrive.
Considerable criticism has been heard
this week OF the detachment from duty
as the Presidents physician Of Surg
George A Lung. u. s. N, and his as
signment to duty in the Naval Hospital
in Philadelphia DR.. Lung has been the
Presidents physician since DR.. Presley
NJ. Rixey was appointed Surgeon Cen
eral of the Navy and has made himself
exceedingly popular at the White
House. It is known that DR.. Lung did
not ask to be detached from his duty
in washington. and that the order was
not issued by direction of the Presi-
dent. What the reasons for his change
i'm duty so soon after his assignment
are not given at the Navy Department.
Surgeon General Rixey win act as the
Presidents physician again, and will
probably accompany him on his long
western trip.-Army and Navy Jour-
nal
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-04-04
Band Notes.

The Government Band viii play
popular program OF recent mainland
successes at the F'ishmarket this art
ernoon at $3.50 O'Clock The band Will
accompany the Legislature committee
to Molokai on the Kinau this evening
returning Sunday evening, in eonse-
auence of which there Will be no sun
dav concert at Makee Island.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-04-04

THE FIREMAN is in great danger
from falling bricks or timbers as Wen
as from the flames. No fire department
is properly equipped without a supply
of ChamberIain's Pain Balm. This I'M
ment is unexcelled for burns ana
bruises. One application gives reheI'
Try It. Benson, smith q Co'' A'u''
wholesale agents, sell II.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-04-04

The Government Band will render the
following program Of popular airs this
afternoon at the Fish Market. COM
mencing at s:so o'clock:
The Cook County herald., 1903-04-04


three months was read at the regular
meeting of the society last week.
Eleven names comprise the neurology
and the average age was over. IS
years. The Oldest member was Ran
Adolph w. Townsend, who was 81 years
Of age, and had been life member
since, 1850. Another. nonogenarian was
William Miles, 80 years old, who had
been life member since 1845. The
Rev. DR.: Thomas Gallaudet, who was
81 years old, had also been a member
since 1845.. No members are now, liv-
ing who Joined previous to that year,
and there is now. but one 1S45 sur
vivor. He is Paul N. Spofford, and he
has the honor of being the oldest liv-
ing member in the society. He is
about 80 years old and is too feeble to-
attend any of the meetings. The other
deceased members were Luther r.
Marsh, 49,; Samuel D. Babcock, 81;
William Allen Butler, 70; Eugene A.
Hoffman, "a; Henry w. Bilby, So;
Isaac Myer, Sc; James Benkard, 63,
and Nicholas Fish, 57.-New Yorl
Times.
The Cook County herald., 1903-04-04
Marriages Expedited.

Only recently the complaint was
made that the preparations for we'd
ding were becoming so elaborate,
troublesome and costly, that young
men preferred to remain bachelors
rather than undergo the ordeal. In
view of this complaint it is reassuring
to. learn that, owing to the perfection
of system established in the county
building, weddings may now be per-
formed there with the greatest dis
patch. A couple, it is reported, may
seek the marriage license window at
any time in the day and then depart
from. the county building man and
wife in the space of eight minutes
and twenty seconds. The gain over
the slow, old-fashioned wedding.
which requires weeks for preparation
and whole day for the ceremony
itself is obvious. A man may now get
married in less time than it takes to
ride around the loop. Some improved
of courtship on the lightning
express principles doubtless will soon
be forthcoming.-Chicago News.
The Cook County herald., 1903-04-04

- *, ,ss - r.ES
q The congestion Of business at. the
lower end Of Manhattan island has
not only eleYated Office buildings
twenty and more stories into the lair,,
but has sent the price Of land up to
an almost Incredible height. hard
M. Hurd 3 w1r1iting in th e Yale Review
gives figures that would seem to show
.that.we come near to having golden
streets" IN 4 local. that ih some
other respects is not 50 suggestiv of
the better land. He gives the follow
ing interesting figures "a regard II to
New Yorl1: 3s n
The banking district appears to
Include the most aluable land In the,
world, the financial section iii IsondonnS
being the only comp etttor The two
corners sof Wall street md Broad,
street we're sold about thirt years ago
at $3.50 per 'squag and sd h ass
been offered the corner of. lvali1
street sis, a ana
Which l tll III. lorS
E3Ss0Ol Suare toto5 s. fairly.
substanti bllil ding S. ehestl
llns the
flnaasial distrtet ''|.. l5oato
The Cook County herald., 1903-04-04
HE WAS TOO CAREFUL,
Little Wonder Wife Did Not Under
stand Instructions.


stand instructions.
1t is far cry from telegraphy t.,
growing onions. When onion bulbs
are developed enough to gather, the
top shrivels. In order to hasten their
development, it is customary to bend
the tops over. The crease at the bend
deadens the top and forces the bulb
to develop. This process is called
"kneeing." When sufficiently devel-
oped they are pulled and stored away.
In wet weather *tkneed'' onions are
liable to make new sprouts, spelling
the bulb. The other day New York
er, who has place in Westchester
village, pulled his fully developed
onions and left them in the garden
to ripen. He also left quite number
in the ground, 'ekneed,'' and more in
a natural state of growth. When he
reached the city proper, it looked
like rain. Fearing that his onions,
both those pulled and those "kneed,"
might sprout and spoil if they got
wet, he decided to telegraph his wife
what to do with them. But, like MANY
men whose experience in the charac-
ter of husband develops a high appre-
citation of womanly intelligence, he
thought she might pull up - the
whole patch if he was not care
fully explicit in his instructions. So
he telegraphed to his wife, **Talxa
onions in except those not kneed."
The telegram was delivered promptly
enough, but it was rather perplexing
to the good wife, as it read .Talke
onions in. except those nockneed."
The Cook County herald., 1903-04-04
4 eIse,t4esH 4ser,otst- !.
NEW, !! ! Y, Y@)RK;1'

sssIt app ears quite probable, that. the
greater part 4of the surface: :off Manhat:
tan island will be ultimately devoted
to- busin ess solely,s the space above
the ground floor, il not utilized for
business, being occupied by hotels,
apartme ent house les; \ flats and tene.5
! Ilents. Pmbab bly, latr.he only B exclusive.
residence occupancy will Il be inst tie
most ashIona biz local liIess in and.
near Fifth avenue and Central park.
'Where the rich swho desire to8 Ave III
town can afford to hold their; property
against the encro achments of bust
hess Even here irestrictio Il; Il running
with the land nnay he necessa the'
weak essl lsof Sthei posi- itdon being that.
one shop lures a,1 tirs blook time
one one resi- dence mn have but iiftia
eject on . block ofl sc
The Cook County herald., 1903-04-04
sMAlllslkG II 4 OF HIN.
Upto.Dats Girl Gives Needsd Lesson
& 5Siz As IN Profsnitv i

Y # In Profanity. +s} z<5s q I
There Is q little woman down III ,Jer-s
sey who vows she has reformed q
man mai .Hekis g very young man, who
had always been tied to his mothers
apron strings until this girl took him
In hand. All last summer he tagged
:Mhersaround he the golf links and worked
like q reformed coal striker to- row
her up stream or beat her at tennis.
IS HE really would have been a very
good sort, you know said the girl,
III he'd ever had half chance. But
q boy can't be mamma'd incessantly
for years and sudd enly become a man.
The one thing about him that an
noyed me most was that every time
he lost a ball or made bad play, he
would grit his teeth like a real man,
and just as L thought he was going to
rip out nice, strong, heart-easing ex-
preston he: would. exclaim, oh, dear
met -. T. =
Il stood it as long as I could. Then
one day at the tag end of the season
he Knocked our last tennis ball into
the lake. I turned on him with eyes
that should>have been a warning; but
ne merely shut his teeth tight for a
moment, then out of force of habit
exclaimed, oh, dear me! dear met
"That was enough!
e Why, don't you say 'damn?"'
broke out.
"'Wha-what?' he exclaimed in hor-
ror. ss. sr
a"'Damn! damn! damn!' screamed.
and then I threw down my tennis
racket and rushed into the house."
The Cook County herald., 1903-04-04


delightful time, concluding that Wash
ing social life was not thing to be
in the least afraid Of. This conclusion
was reached, by the way, just as I
was taking leave of the host.
a "A liveried servant approached me
and asked if my carriage was in wait
ing and whether it was a single or
double conveyance. Out of consider
alton for lean pocketbook 1 had or
dered cab: rather than a two-horse
carriage. T. had the pleasure of hear
ing the servant shouting to the car
riage driver:
"Senator Dolliver's one-horse hack!
Senator Delivers one-horse hack!'
."The man then came to me, and,
with his head high in the air, an
nounced: Your hacks waitin', Sena.
tor Dolliver.' THE Pilgrim.
The Cook County herald., 1903-04-04

5000 per square foot: Next III the,
scale, comes the women's N shopping
district ons Sixth Avenue, from Four
steenth To- enty third street: also on.
Fwentythird, Thirt fourth and Forty,
second streets, and On Broadway, from
Ninth e Twenty third street, Nv it'll an
average scale of .$6 ssto 500, and ] an;
occasional sale such as that &C Sixth:
avenue and TWent "a secon,d street, at1
$3.50 and the north west corner Of
8Broadway n Uni hirty- fourth street.
fS(hayingss an area less than 1000.
square fee..) at $35
Any one who can foresees the move
81 ,lm1eIllts apapula lon, business and
real. ESTATE ylalueasJ inS nS lew orl, or
saa.in1,yIiWheIes else sit iss need dleas tos
sa l4lnd haz.
The folloWins preiict Ions;
The Cook County herald., 1903-04-04
ALL SOMEWHAT OUT. OF PLACE.
Mrs. Goodheart's Strange Comment on
''.ss Husband'a Plan, II; ..

Mrs. Goodheart's Strange Comment on
49," husbands Plan.
= When Mr.. Goodheart came home to
supper he found Mrs. Goodheart in a
state akin to despondency, which was
quite unusual with. her ~.
"Why, my dear, what is, the mat
ter?" he anxiously inquired.
Matter enough" said she. "Our
servant has left us, and here is a let
ter from Sarah Armatige saying she
Will be here tomorrow, and expects
to stay over Sunday with us. What
on earth is to be done?"
"Oh, that will be all right. said
Mr.. Goodheart. Harold can act as
dining room waiter, Millie can be
maid of all work, and you can be
cook. You know you are a good one.
We shall get along swimmingly.'
"And what will you do?" incurred
Mrs. Goodheart.
me? Oh, I'll be gentleman" he
replied. y
Every well, we will try your plan,
Edmund" said she, cheerfully; "but
I am afraid we shall all feel rather
awkward in. our unaccustomed roles"
+ Mr.. Goodheart says she was as
cheerful as a lark all the remainder
of the evening. ..1,.
The Cook County herald., 1903-04-04

the beauty of Mary Murphy, Mrs. Van
Alstyne's pretty nurse maid. : The
maintenance of law and order was
troubling him very little, when at
his elbow he heard a voice, and turn
ing beheld an old man with snowy
hair and beard. In his eye was a
soft, kindly expression, and his voice
was gentle and low.
"Could you tell me, sir, If my
daughter got off the train here to-day
from Rockville-ske-
my dear sir, you must remember
this is not Rockville, and thousands
get off the trains in a day --- '',.I ~ i, Il.
"Certainly-rcertainly." the old man
The Cook County herald., 1903-04-04

Anything peculiar about her?'
fastened to explain was going to
say she is pretty girl and -
"Of course" dryly remarked the
policeman under his breath, s..they
all are!"
G. with long curls and a lace as
fair as any city maiden"
Anything peculiar about N her?
Was she tall or short, and was she
alone?" B
"Ah! that wish I knew-butI fear
not-I fear not!" and the old man
nervously clutched the walking stick
in his hand. There may have, been
er-er mana big fellow-a sort Of
dandy-a-devil! He has stolen my
little Nell know it, and if I$catch
him-well, God pity him, and--me!"
Haven't y GU picture of y your
daughter? If so, you had better go
to headquarters and =
"A picture of Nell? No, I#guess
she never had one taken, but sir,
she's just like her angel mother"
and he drew from an inside pocket
an old daguerreotype in a little black
leather case, and with trembling
fingers opened it, revealing the face
Of a young girl with long dark curls
and wide-open, frank eyes like those
of a little child, who believes all
things good, because untried h
my Nell's just like her, sir, for
all the world, and when her mother
died and left her to me, she said:
John, don't let Nellie get out of
your sight!'. and do you know, sir,
she amt never been-until- until
that man came courtin' her, and
she'd plead like to take rides with
him, and now-now where is she?'
He replaced the picture in his
pocket. and inquiring what car to
take to police headquarters, tottered
down the street, bent, humble, lit.
tie figure, carrying next to his burst
ing heart, a picture of Nellie's
| mother! =.
**
Three days later a solitary, white
haired man, who seemed to have sud.
denly added twenty years to his age,
boarded an outgoing train from the
bustling city. Into the express car
was lifted a plain casket and within
was the form of a sweet-faced girl
with a wealth of curls around her
shoulders. The old man failed to no.
tice the inquiring glances Of the
other passengers, as he muttered and
read again and again a crumpled
note: ~ y - - g., 1,>;.@ ]
Dearest Pal couldn't bear to
come home again and so I'm igoing,
to the river. He fooled me, Pa, and
the minister didn't meet US. Forgive
me, pa, if you ever get this letter.
from your ~ Nh. = a. sz7a. 7s. Nell ''<5 {:
The Cook County herald., 1903-04-04
"ReaI Cute-Eh?"

A naval officer writing from the
Philippines tells of an interesting visit
he made to the town of Jolo, where
he was introduced to several of. the
wives of the Sultan of Sulu, who are
domiciled at that place, The Army
and Navy Journal has had their names
translated into. English. Here they
are: :: y = gsssS
:: Scent Of Lilies. - <: y: IA s4s=a >a -.
sE Hearts Desire.''4 4 II zS;.#5s:e s. u B.: ! ::
Honey of Life !, Is: ;5 "a IS
~ Dancing Sunbeam e! ts7 .;s7 .s&@.5 So
= Blush of Morning. s.ss l.sasss s ss@:.
Oasis in the Desert" ? s.isz. Gu. { *:s} s
!. Moon Upon the Waters. = s 4: 81 81
). % Song ofsthe Nightingales. Z '.:. a.
Whisper of the West Winds. ''|s :@s.s
.Roses.in Bloom. = Il IS: SIS a.=5ts I. j. I.
& 7 The officer intimated that there
were. others, but did not give their
names :4 ss.s, W. .s-5z 81 z Ez,s