The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-11-08

with some show of reason-but nevertheless
the love affairs OF the great are more or
ess public property, even in these modern
lines. and when one goes back and real
zes the intense significance of the incidents
f the very first amour of all, there can be
cen at once the wisdom and propriety OF
opposing further concealment. Secretive
scientists have resolved the grunts into
language roots picturing seven distinct
ideas. II has been ascertained that the
words of the English language which most
nearly correspond with these seven ideas
are: Where are you going. my pretty
maid?"
There they stand, those wonderful grunts
of the first man, so meaningful, tremen-
dously influential upon the whirl of the
world. They are the very beginning
of things. and in all probability
will be the ending. They have
kept on from Alpha down through the al
phabet of history, the primitive grunts
growing more and more refined and pref
tier and prettier, and more poetcal and
more poetical, disguised marvelously in all
tongues, but never varying jot from their
original intent. their first powerful purpose.
Convention has clothed them and art has
adorned them; but in all ages and all times
the things that have built up nations and
hurled them down, and changed the map
Of the world, and generally played hob with
existing orders are the seven grunts of the
first man. Where are you going, my pretty
maidP" They stand for all the strange and
beautiful, curious and terrible things that
have happened when first the eyes of man
crossed chances with the eyes of woman
prince or peasant, lord or laborer, Croesus
or Lazarus-it has been always the same.
The Where are you going, my pretty
maid may have been cunningly covered
up most conventionaIly, Puritanically per-
feet bu. always ever beneath the veneer
OF the fitness of things. the inquiry of
one, Where are you going, my prAty
maid?" and the response Of the other (of
which research produce record)
but which always set the wheels to going
either for bad good.
xxx
What would have been the fate of Athens
IL Alcibiades had not said too many times.
Where are you going, my pretty maid?"
The chances are that the job of whipping
Syracuse would not have been SO badly
bungled and the way to the Acropolis left
open to the Lacedemonians. What might
have been the history of Rome If Tarquin
had not ruined the monarchy by too ardent
ly following the old inquiry? The first Of
the Caesars, great julius himself. stopped
swimming in blood long enough to ask that
question of a star-eyed Egyptian and it
changed the history of the East. And Mark
Antony--if ever man was sent to the dogs
and an empire turned upside down because
of Where are you going, my pretty maid?"
the triumvir was that man. The answer.
however, was the one that sent the blood
rushing to his head. even though horse
sense flew out, and it is not recorded that
Antony ever really cared a tinker's curse
because such little things as power and am
bitition and maniiness went to the devil.
He ripped out few good Roman oaths, an
nounced that he was dying and did die like
the thorough-going sport that he was. In
this connection 1t is interesting to recall
that the icicle member of the Caesarian
line the cold-blooded, cold-hearted, cool
headed Octavius did not pause TO ask the
universal question, Cleopatra had already
framed the usual answer. but Octavius was
a proud and particular man and cared not
TO daily where his uncle and his late friend
had fingered overlong: If he had asked II
is pretty safe to say that it would not have
mattered to him how many roads led to
Rome and the whole course of history
would have been curiously changed Old
chroniclers are full of such askings and
answering. The monks used to know a lot
about that sort Of thing and although they
were discreet folk they found it convenient
ofttimes to file away in their fortress-like
old monasteries some of these "reminiscences
in black and whte-to be used as circum-
stances demanded 1.-THE end justifes the
means" etc., etc.. it was all The
knowledge was for the perpetuity and glory
OF the Holy Church. Strategy was not all
cornered by the Jesuits in those fine times.
The old grunts have survived the horrors
of battle, murder and sudden death. They
are more enduring than the pyramids; they
have accomplished more than wagonload
| of constitutions and bills of rights. Swarthy
| Egyptian priests whispered them in the
temples of Isis. to yelled figures that knew
more about the interior of splendid images
than humans were supposed to know
| Gorgeous Babylsnians, intoxicated with the
fragrance of life. murmured them in
| famous garden. Carthage thrilled to their
sound before the Roman legions crushed
Il
| yellow haired cheftans commanded their
| bards to set them to wild. fierce music
| Harold the Saxon died with their sound In
| his Robert the Devil. who was enti-
| tied to the name, and the whole Norman
| tribe We're expert in weaving them in net
| work of lies. over the world from the
| highlands of the Scot TO the junsles of
| India, they brought things to pass They
| were always "the real reason" cautiously
| whispered In palace and breathed in hut
Moderns nave been skillful questioners. The
| French perhaps are entitled TO the greatest
| honor or the greatest commiseration
| Charlemange was hardy Frenchman, but
| he had a good deal TO do with the fact that
Frenchmen came TO exist, and while the old
| hero was a mighty baptizer and slayer of
| the heather. he was unwise enough to get
In the bad graces of some of his monkish
| friends. the chroniclers of the day, who
| told tales out of school Recall the French
| kings, ne after another, Capetain, Valois,
| Bourbon, ii all the same. they were
merry scamps. always with a smile for a
| pretty woman, always with the question
| trembling their lips, until the deluge
that Louis XIV laughed merrily about ended
| their activities in this line and in others