The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-10-16
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Teacher-You notice that boy who
stands at the foot of the class? Well,
last summer he was the brightest boy in
school.
Committeeman-He is now. I notice
the foot of the class is nearest the stovel
Puck.
'Mistah Pinkley.'' said Miss Miami
Brown, you sings jes' like you was a
Bird
"'Deed, Miss Miami" was the re-
joinder; 'if 1 was bird 1 reckon 1
wouldn't be able to sing. I'd be d
chicken hawk.'-Washington Star.
Doctor-want to get up. Ell? All.
thought my medicine would fetch you
out of bed.
Tommy-Yes, an then, besides. seen
a circus poster.-Philadelphi Bulletin.
the gangs stump speakers are just
bout stumped Observation-Disclosures
News.
"I am a little bit afraid of her." said
Miss Cayenne.
"She has wonderful tact
Yes. She must know everything that
could possibly annoy one Otherwise
all disagreeable subjects. Washington
Star.
Lord Enthusiastically, Mrs Hustle
ton, one does not begin to appreciate
this country until one has seen II.
Mrs. Hustleton-Why, your lordship.
didn't begin to appreciate it until 1
saw the others.-Puck.
Fine, wasn't it?" exclaimed Gilman,
after the trombone soloist had lnisher
his star performance. THAT was really
clever, eh?''
s.O1, r1.,,o1-et,, Xo,I;o7 cs;+;xoo,,,e oo,,,,
try cousin. He didn't fool me a little
bit. That's one o. them trick horns. He
didn't really swaller it."-Philadelphia
Press.
The cold bot" when you crack 1t.
Is bound to hit you back.
At night you're on the racket,
Next morning on the rack.
Catholic Standard and Times.
Remember, my son. said the prudent
man, that penny saved is penny
earned"
That's So" replied the reckless youth.
1.-THE trouble with me is that I am al
ways getting hold of the wrong pro-
verb. I was thinking, Nothing venture,
nothing have Washington Star.
He-But if a man won't take no for an
She-Then there is only one thing the
girl can do-say yes-to some one else
Puck.
1.-The expedition endured the EXTREMIST
hardship.
Yes, 1 understand they were locked
in the ice during two lecture Seasons
Detroit Free Press.
"You say your new cook doesn't know
n thing about preparing a meal. and
yet your husband hasn't said a word
about it?" - Yes; you see he saseeted
her because she was pretty. and ! am
letting him feast upon her good looks
until he gets tired. "-Cincinnati Times
Star.
Invitation is the sincerest fattery.-
Life.
The Cannibal Chef-"This fellow I've
just prepared for your excellencv was
a millionaire" The Cannibal Chief
"Oh! He has a rich aavor-"-Yonkers
Statesman
Little E1mer-.'Papa, what is execu-
faculty of earning your bread by the
sweat of other peoples brows, my
son. Puck.
''They tell me ST Medders' son Bill
hez bin sent ter tn legislature Nope
steaiin'." Great snakes Why is it
folks alters wants ter make things out
as WuSS IhaE lneE really is II uSe.
Mrs. Dunm-'I see a piece in the
paper about some society people bein'
Interested in Buddhism What's that?"
Mrs. Dumber-'Why, guess that must
be the doin's of these young society
people that's called buds "-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
81 want to see the -larade." walled
the boy. MY son. replied the father.
who had experienced the usual vicissi-
tudes of civic celebrations, ''I'll put you
in the cider press and you'll have all
the sensations without going so far for
them. Chicago Evening Post.
But" said the heiress whose beauty
wasn't even skin deeD. how am l to
know that you are not marrying me for
my money!" 1T is an even break" re-
piled the young man who was addicted
to the Glove habit. How am to know
that you are not marrying me to re-
form me g'-Chicago Daily News.
rs Mamie's new hat beconing?'' ssIt
must be. I heard one of the other girls
say it looked as if she bought it at
rummage sale '-Philadelphia Evening
Bulletin.
Miss Cutts-"He's an awfuIIy in
quisitive bore, isn't her" Miss Ann
Teek-'Oi Awfully. He was trying to
find out my age the other day, so just
up and told him I was 80. That set
tied him." Miss Cutts-''Wells I guess