davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-24

The monument to Pope Leo will not be more durable than the memory of his illustrious career.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-24

The efforts of some politicians to start their respective booms for office remind one of hen trying to hatch a china egg.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-24

Discussion of North Pole posst5ili- ties has been superseded by fiowery rhetoric from the Isthmus of Panama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-24

Just now is when Chicago proves it's claims to be called the Windy City.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-24

M. Bunau-Varilla now wears the smile that wont come of.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-24

The secret of perpetual motion has been discovered in the postal scandals.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-24

The toy man is preparing to deceive children again with that old Santa Claus ruse.
 Congress will be given another chance to get down to business this week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-24

Joseph Chamberlain is the William J. Bryan of England.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-11-24

A. D. Glass. W. D. Bankston and k. l.. o'Neal are the only authorized traveiing representatives of The Age-Herald In us circulation department
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-04-03
CAST r on / &
For Infants anu children,
The Kind You nave Always BoGgat
signature p1s.a ,.'e Of L2Zzzzzzz zzzzezz.1I
Disturbed the Senator's Rest.

Senator Nelson has been struggling
along with his speech in opposition to
the omnibus statehood bill for week
Monday at o'clock Senator Quay
who is iii charge of the bill, called for
Il regular order.
The chain has already recognized
the senator from Minnesota said
President Frye. He is the regular
order"
Nelson began, and one by one the
senators left the chamber until there
We're but six present. One of these
was Senator McCumber of North Da
kota, who moved over and sat III the
chair neNt to Senator Nelson desk.
McCumber listened attentiye.y for a
few moments and then calmly went to
sleep.
Senator Nelson tailed along and at
one point grew ent!atie. McCumber
woke WITH & start
Excuse rae, said Senator Nelson
Tor disturbing your rest New York
World.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-04-03
Company in Misery.

A stoly is going the rounds about a
party Of young people who We're hay
ing a sleigh ride in a Dobsled at Tope>
ka. Say. Jennie, whispered one of
the girls to a companion. I wish you
would introduce me to the man SITTING
in my lap 1t reminds the Kansas
City Journal OF the best story ever
written In depicting the utter abandon
OF seasicllness. A seasiek woman and
a seasicll man We're in chairs side by
side on the deck OF a steamer. The
man had his head in the woman's S lap
and the woman sat with her hands
hanging down. the picture of detection.
The steward came along and inquired
solicitously: Cant | do anything for
you or your husband, MADAME oh, y
moaned the woman, he amt my hus-
band. I don't know who he is.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-04-03
POSSIBILITIES OF THE
ENGLISH LANGUAGE

NJ. le C0mrte de Martesquiou Fezcn-
sac, here TO lecture ON French litera-
ture. met with a surprise tie other
day at reception. He was talking
to a dainty little lady. who spoke
very good French She was telling
him OF the vast possibilities of the
English language, and. negIectful of
the fact that he imperfectIy under
stands the language, she gave him the
following:
"A flock of girls is called a beyy,
a bevy of wolves is called a pack, a
pack of thieves is called a gang. a
gang of angels is called a host,
host of fish is called a shoal, a shoal
of cattle is called a troop, a troop of
partridges is called a coVey, a coyey
of beauties is called a galaxy, a galaxy
of rutfians is called horde. horde
of coal is called heap, a heap of
oxen is called a drove. a drove Of
blackguards is called mob, a mob
of whales is called school, school
of worshippers is called con
gregation. a, congregation Of engineers
is called a corps, corps of robbers
is called band, band of locusts is
called a swarm, and a swarm of peo-
pie is called a crowd.
NJ. le Comte asked the fair one to
please write it out for him. as he
wished to use a lexicon for the pur-
pose of translatiou. He tried it later
and gave UP in despair-New York
Times
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-04-03
CONGRESSMAN With a Conscience.

The national House of Representa-
tives has concluded that Congressman
Sheppard of Texas has the most deli
eately balanced conscience in the
entire body. When he started back
from his holiday he had through tick
cts to Washington, but he found that
by coming on the route he had select
ed he would be four hours late for the
opening of Congress. This discovery
was made in st. Louis. Mr. Sheppard
promptly threw away his tickets and
bought another which landed him in
Washington just in time He Won
dered way more seasoned statesmen
laughed when he told of this expert
ence. Tle Texan is only twenty
seven years old, which may go long
way toward accounting for his ex-
t,eme fidelity to duty.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-04-03
CQNUNDRUMS. S.

Why is bread like the sun? Be
cause when it rises it is light.
Why are towboats like human be-
ings? Because some tow (toe) in
and some tow out.
Why is train of cars like a blank
ct? Because it covers the sleeper
What islands are the best for picnic
goers? The Sanwich Islands.
When does burglar become a bird? =?
When he is a robbin' (robbingD
What game are baggage masters
most like? Checkers.
What is most like a half moon?
The other half.
Why are troublesome visitors like
trees in winter? Because it is a
long time before they leave
When is a dogs tail not a dogs
tail? When it is a wagon (waggingl
What is the difference between the
Prince of Wales and bombshell? One
is heir to the throne and the other is
thrown to the air
Why is Westminster Abbey like a
fireplace? Because it contains the
ashes of the crate (great.
What is that which everybody has
seen but will never see again? Yes
terday.
What is the best day for making
pancakes? Friday
Why is the snow different from
Sunday? Because ii can fall on any
day in The week.
What is the difference between a
bottle Of melieiae aad a troublesome
boy? One is to be we'll shaken before
taking and the other is TO he taken
and then shaken.
Why is coffee like a duh ak? Be
cause it must be ground before it is
used.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-04-03
HELD a Temporary Job.

Congressn an Payne Of New York
met a gray-haired acquaintance of long
ago the other day, and asked how he
was coming on. Shaking his head
sadly. the other replied:
oh. I've been ont of employment a
full month. having fallen a victim to
the uncertainties CT officeholding"
AND how long were you III office?"
asked Payre, who was fast growing
sym pa thetic.
'ynst thirty years to the day"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-04-03

What is the best land for lie kit
tens? l.apland.
What letter Of tie a!psabot il Heo.
essary to make a shoe? TIE it,
Boston Daily Globe.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-04-03
ga - - E L a.
saara the n The Kind You Fave Always nWlgr
signature %; MxXZz1Xzu
Too Much Conservatism.

DR.. S f. Young Presbyterian
clergyman of Pittsburg, is in an indig
nant frame OF mind because of the ac-
ton Of his fellow pastors. At meet
ing of the Pittsburg presDytery to con-
slider creed revision DR.. Young was
one Of the principal speakers. While
he was there word was brought that
one OF his church members was on her
deathbad and wished to see him. The
anti-revisicnists refused to let him
leave the meeting until a vote had
been had and by that time the church
member had died without being com
forted by the pastors mini&tratons.
Friends of the deceased are much in.
censed over the affair
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1903-04-03

Ordinary household accidents have
no terrors when there's bottle of
DR.. Thomas Eclectric Oil in the med
icine chest Heals barns, cuts. bruises,
sprains. Instant relief.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01
NEW SET OF RULES
To Govern Civilian Promotions in the
Quartermaster's Department.

Quartermaster General Humphrey has es-
tablished a new set of rules to govern pro-
motions In the classified service in the
quartermasters department. 1t is designed
That all promotions in tdepartYnent
Shall be based on merit, and to establish
that basis all officers are required to pre-
pare semi-annual reports in regard to each
employe. embracing such qualifications as
attendance, ability, adaptability, habits and
application, the latter having to do with
diligent. faithful and close attention to
duty. Under the heading of habits, Gen.
Humphrey remarks:
In estimating habits consideration
should be given to sobriety, integrity, SUBJ
ordination. cheerful and Jealous obedience
to orders and regulations, and promptness
and courtesy in all the relations of official
business The rating will be made in the
manner prescribed for ability. InSubordi-
nation. disregard of regulations, frequent
hardness, drunkenness on duty, or any con.
duct prejudicial to the good order and dis
cipline of an office should be made the sub.
ject of special inquiry and action as direct
ed in regard to absence without leave"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01
INTERNAL COMMERCE.
Conditions Throughout the Country
ported Satisfactory.

VOuO1t1OuS Throughout the SOuAtIy
ported Satisfactory.
Internal commerce conditions throughout
the United States as reflected by the July
report Of the Department Of Commerce and
Labor, through It's bureau of statistics, are
quite satisfactory. Receipts of live stock
at five markets this year to the end Of
July amounted to 1874 BAT head Last year
1892, O04 head were reported to the cor
responding date and 1S 500, 1888 head in 1901.
In 1901 a total of 374,976 cars of stock ar
rived at the same five markets, 3O5, 419 cars
in 1902, and 341 .S02 cars in 1903 July re-
ceipts of cattle at Chicago this year were
the heaviest since 1892 with the single ex-
ception of those Of July 1901. The increase
in natives as compared with range and
Texas stocks was characteristic OF July
arrivals.
The state Of the provision market as in
dicated by stocks on hand at the five cities
on July 81. is significant Of lowering prices.
On that date in 1901, there were 297 ,SO1 345
pounds of cut meats reported on hand. In
1902 the corresponding reserve was 200, 1888, :
OS7 pounds, compared with 262, 43S 40
pounds in 1903.
Backwardness of the season Is reflected
in the figures of wheat receipts during July,
the first month Of the new crop year. At
the four winter wheat markets OF Kansas
City, ST. Louis, Toledo and Detroit, 11,344,-
1GS bushels were received In July. 1901, as
compared with 11,695.OS7 bushels in July,
1903
Trade on the Great Lakes between domes-
tic ports to the end of July has exceeded
the quantity of freight handled to that
date in 1902 by million tons.
Grain receipts at the north Atlantic sea-
bushels compared with 143. $40 bushels
this
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01
WILL NOT BE RETURNED.
Check Books Bearing the Internal
Revenue Impress.

decision has been rendered by the COM
missioner of internal revenue to the effect
that after this date no check books bearing
the internal revenue impress according to
the war revenue law of 1898 will be return
ed to their owners after cancellation Here
tofore these checks have been returned to
their owners, but the appropriation for that
purpose has been expended and no funds
are available. There was large number
of stamped checks and drafts printed with
the stamp during the war with Spain, and
peal of the law was no small item The
owners generally wished to keep Them and
an appropriation was made by Congress
providing for their return after redemp-
ton.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01
THE WALL STREET DISEASE.
Collapse of "Values" Due to Greed and
Not to Administration.

FROM the New York Tribune.
Recently New York has witnessed the
most gigantic consolidation of interests
and expansion of securities in the short
est time the world has ever seen-a thou
sand millions in one company, a hundred
millions, two hundred millions, three hun
dred millions in many companies. Some
times they represented new enterprises,
oftener merely the conversion of old enter
prfses into securities of a new form In
any case. the volume of the securities was
always expanded. far above actual cash in
vested; and the dance went merrily on,
to the joy of every investor who received a
dollar and a half or more for an old dollar,
and of every banker who received his
princely commission on the huge reissue.
Suddenly there comes halt. In burst
of candor one man explains 1t by saying
that the market is staggering under load
of undigested securities. Another, with
perhaps almost as much truth, replies thai
1t is staggering under a load of indigesti-
bic securities. In any case, everybody ad-
mits that in the greed to profit by the
amazing temper of the times the digestion
of Wall street has been enormously over
taxed
Naturally the patient doesn't like it, and
complains. But he will get well sooner if
he doesn't try to shut his eyes to the fact
that his own greed in attempting to cat
too big a meal in too short a time is the
cause of his indigestion. He only makes
himself ridiculous by cropping around wild
ly for some wicked politician whom he can
accuse of having disturbed public con-
fidence," and he certainly doesn't aid the
restoration of public confidence by prepar-
Ing for the return to power of the very
party from which. few years ago, he was
making frantic struggle to escape No
politician could have prevented, and no
politician could have very much FASTENED
the recent Wall street collapse The pri-
mary fault was with the men who wit
ungly or unwittingly organized the top
heaviness, the dangerous conditions Of un-
stable equilibrium, under which any one
of dozen things could precipitate the
catastrophe. The real trouble was in the
load of undigested securities. not in some
passing sight or sound that made the suf-
fering patient gag. The sooner the sick
man recognizes this fact the less he will
have to take back when he finds the ne
cessity of repairing present damages and
organizing safety for the future pressing
upon him.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01

would be in keeping with the general
method adopted by the medical department
for instructions in first aid which have
proven most useful and practical auxiliaries
for the welfare of military commands" He
quotes as follows from a report made to
him by one of the dental surgeons in his
department.:
''The result of my experience here and
elsewhere in the department forces me to
the conclusion that under the most favor
able conditions it is not possible for one
dental surgeon to perform more than so per
cent of the work required. One Of the
greatest drawbacks connected with the
service is the fact that very few enlisted
men know anything about personal care of
teeth, and care less and If l can judge
from appearances, 1t seems to be no one s
business to see that they own and use
tooth brush 1t seems useless to state that
a dentist cannot take the place Of tooth
brush"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01
THE DOYLESTOWN BANK.
Possible Early Resumption of Business
by Suspended institution.

The controller of the currency has re-
ceived the report of the receiver of the
Doylestown National Bank of Doylestown,
Pa, which shows a deficiency in assets of
s115, 231 So exclusive of capital stock at the
date of suspension.
A representative of the controllers office
will confer with the receiver in regard to
any plan for the reorganization and re-
sumption of business of the bank which
any of the late directors or other interested
parties may have to offer.
The acting controller states that, while
the amount of the deficiency shown by the
report of the receiver may be reduced some
what by the collections from assets that
are now considered doubtful worthless,
any plan looking to the reorganization and
resumption of business of the bank will re-
quire the payment of about 100000 in cash
to provide the bank with an unimpaired
capital of $1O5,0GO and cover the deficiency
In assets.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01
NOMINATIONS IN LoUDoUN.
Democratic Primaries Held and Cor
p1ete Ticket Made.


Special Dispatch to The Evening Star.
LEESBURG, Va, September 1.-Returns
from the democratic primaries held IN
Loudoun county Saturday for the nominal
ton Of candidates for the house of dele
gates and for the county and district
offices indicate that the present represent
alive In the house of delegates, John +.
Ryan. Is nominated without opposition.
Great interest centered in the nomina-
ton Of candidates for the Offices of clerk.
sheriff. treasurer and commemorative at
torney. Returns indicate that Edwin q.
Garrett Of Leesburg the incumbent. de-
feated Cecil Conner Of Leesburg Tor COM
mcnwealth's attorney by about 800 votes.
carrying by large majorities each OF the
six districts OF the county.
w. D. Hempstone, county clerk. was re-
nominated over B. ". White and r. w.
Garrett by $50 to 300 votes.
Eugene Monroe Of Purcellville was sue.
cessful for sherin over Geo. w. Virte and
Thos. W. Edwards. Monroe carried Mercer
and Mt. Gilead districts. Edwards vote
in Leesburg district was 86a.
For treasurer John L. Giel OF Round 11ill
defeated H. II. Russell Of Leesburg by 9
small majority. Ieesburg. the homo OF
Russell. gave him S47 votes. The other
contestants for the ONCE were Geo. w.
Popkins. who received about 481 votes;
VIM. L. Powell and VIM. A. McFariand
Hempstone received In Leesburg pa
votes. and White, his nearest contestant,
got 125. The election was held by the
ballot system and the nominations to these
hftces are equivalent to election.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01
BLACK HAIR TURNED WHITE.
Then Dropped Out, Leaving Brnet
Absolutely Bald

Special Dispatch to The Evening Star.
NORFOLK, Va. September Jas Burn
EFT, colored of Essex county. had full suit
of coal black hair.
One morning recently he and his friends
were surprised to find that his hair had
turned snowy white, and all in one night.
The following day his hirsute began to
fall out. and now there is not hair on
the mans head He is also devoid of eye
brows eyelashes, mustache and beard. all
having fallen out. Burnett, however, 10
in excellent health.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01
THE NATIONAL GUARD.
Annual Cost of Maintaining Soldier
Being Ascertained.

The officials of the War Department are
endeavoring to establish a basis of the
average annual cost of maintaining SOL
der of the National Guard. To that end
application for information has been made
to the adjutant general of Pennsylvania,
the affairs of the National Guard of that
state being administered with exceptional
efficiency and economy. 1t Is understood
that the expenses attending the equipment
and maintenance of that organization will
be regarded as a fair index of the expense
of maintaining the average militiamail for
one year. including the cost Of clothing a
soldier and oquipping him. as we'll as the
cost of encampments armories and other
expenses
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01
DENTISTRY IN THE ARMY.
Several Things Needed to Bring It Up
to the Standard

The short experience of dentistry in the
army has. according to reports received by
Surgeon General O'Reilley, demonstrated
that several things are yet needed in that
branch OF the service to bring 1t up to the
desired standard of efficiency The most
pressing aeeds are represented to be an in
crease in the number of dental surgeons, a
suitable operating room at each post and
some means of inducing enlisted men to
give proper attention to the personal care
OF their teeth
These suggestions are cordially approved
by several department commanders, in
Guiding Gen. Grant, commanding the de-
partment of. Texas. Gen. Grant says that
he will require the dental surgeons in his
department to deliver short and instructive
lectures to the soldiers on the care and
preservation Of the teeth. This, he says,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01
FOREIGN CONSULAR AFFAIRS.
Officials Duly Recognized by the
President.

The President has recognized the follow
ing foreign consular officers:
Emilio de Perera y Blesa, consul general
of Spain at Manila.
Enrique de Vedia San Miguel, consul Of
Spain at San Juan, P. r.
Guillermo LAM, consul Of Mexico at
Honolulu, H. /.
Ventura Portuondo Tamayo, consul of
Cuba at ST. Louis, Mo.
1. Willard Helm, vice consul of Honduras
at New York.
Henry Thomas Carew-Hunt, consul of
Great Britain at New Orleans for the
states of Louisiana, Arkansas, Mississippi
Alabama and Florida.
Jose Vicente Fernandez, consul general
of the Argentine Republic at New York,
for the United States.
c. M. Kaylor, consul of Cuba at Nor
folk, Va.
Ramon Echazarreta. consul general of
France at San Francisco for the states of
California, Idaho, Nevada, Oregon, Utah
and Washington, and the territories of
Alaska and Arizona.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01
FROM NOME IN Is DAYS, 8 HOURS.
E. A. Odds, jr., Makes Fast Trip From
the Alaskan City to New York.

The New York Sun today says: Edwin A.
Olds, jr., of this city. who had been super
vising some railroad work in Alaska, got
here yesterday from Nome having made
the trip in thirteen days and three hours.
The best previous time is said to be nine
teen days.
Mr.. Olds says he didn't start out to smash
records, but was merely in a hurry. He
left Nome on August Is on the steamer
Senator. reached Seattle in seven days and
just caught the Northern Pacifcs east
bound overland limited there Mr. Olds is
going back in a week. and says he'll try to
dc the trip in even better time then.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01
Will Vote for Veto.

Special Dispatch to The Evening Star
COLUMBUS, Ohio, September mayor
Tom L. johnson. the democratic candidate
of the democrats for governor, made
sensational speech at Silver Lake Summit
county, Saturday night, in which he init
mated that he proposed to do a little bolt
ing himself
He charged that ]. H. Cooke, chairman
of the state convention, had SO manipulated
the vote on the question of indorsing the
constitutional amendment propositions that
there was not correct expression in them.
II am In favor of the governors veto
proposition" said he land / believe the
convention was too. but 1t was not per-
mitted to say so. 1 shall vote with-the re-
publicans this fall to the extent of voting
for this amendment"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-09-01

but it would not surprise me II its cost was
very greatly advanced in the future. 1t
seems almost miraculous that such an
article as steel could be produced and sold
without loss at three pounds for a penny.
A Thing Of the Past.
II am convinced that this is thing Of
the past. 1t will be question of increased
cost and therefore Of increased price, so
that neither Britain nor America need fear
that steel manufacture will be wholly lost;
the world will gladly pay the increased
price necessary to obtain It.
During the next half century it seems
that America is to increase her output at a
tremendous pace. The output Of Britain
will perhaps remain stationary or even in
crease somewhat II developments In Nor
way and Sweden prove satisfactory.
Gentlemen, even If this Barrow meeting
should fail to rank in Importance historical
ly with the first one, am sure that in the
warmth Of welcome received in the enjoy
ment of the occasion and in the meeting
of one with another. the records will not
fail to show that 1908 compared favorably
even with its epoch-making predecessor"