Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-08-01
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VINO you are; boast, and it despises
you for what you are--Life.
She-Time win heal the wound Eve
made in your heart. He-Yes; but
you'll be mad at me if it does.
wigs says his new house has
eighteen bathrooms" Must he fine
place! What does he call HT'
Plumbers Paradise. Life.
Railroad took Off his leg" YES,
and SO providential!" "Providential?"
That's what. 1t was the leg with the
rheumatism IN itr'-Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
We prefer to live In small town
where all the people sympathze with
YOU in trouble. and II you haven't any
trouble will hunt up some for YOU
Formosa Sew Era.
Has he had much success rs an
authorY mo. The publishers couldn't
sell more than hundred copies OF his
last book before It came out. Chit
cage Record-Herald
Jones is conscientious fellow"
What makes you think so?" II
watched him play solitaire for two
hours last night. and he never cheated
once Brooklyn Life.
A Western paper refuses to publish
eulogies gratis, hut adds: We VIII
publish the simple announcement of
the death OF any of our friends with
pleasure, Rams Horn.
why are You crying dear?' oh,
mother; last night showed Henry the
hammock that we first courted In"
What did he do?' He went over
and kicked lt.'-Chleago News.
Young husband, to wife Didn't
telegraph to you not to bring your
mother with you? Young wife-I
know; that IL what she wants to see
you about. She read the telegram!
oh! yes, it was the first time they
had met, but they became real chum-
my at once" is that so?' Yes,
they discovered that they Endorsed the
same breakfast food. "--Philadelphia
Press
Wise for his years: The mother
Robbie, didn't your conscience tell
you that you had done wrongF" Bob
bie-"Yes'm; but don't believe every
thing hear "--Philadclphia Public
Ledger.
Host pairing OFF his guests)--"Mr.
Makinbrakes you will please take
Miss Gumwell out TO dinner MIR
Makinbrakes--''C Certainly But, great
| Scott, where? Don't you have dinner
here in the house - Chicago Tribune
| Most satisfactory results: kingley
You've been to these literary clubs
and metaphysical things for two or
three years now, and what does your
culture amount to-" Mrs. kingley--
Don't ! know everybody Town
| and Country.
Here is one candid author who tells
the truth to his journal: Il generally
take II run every day--but not for cx-
ercise. The butcher and the baker are
either on my doorstep or ten yards be-
hind mo That's why | rung--At-
lanta Constitution.
My new play is sure to make
HIT said the eminent actress; 1T
gives me an opportunity to show TWEEN
ty superb gowns Gracious! how
many scenes do you appear inr' only
five, but one Of them's scene at the
dressmakcr's. 49, Philadelphia Press.
Well" said the New Yorker, taunt-
ingly you don't see any grass grow
ing in our streets" That's So" re-
piled the Philadelphia, Clever
scheme Of yours What's that2"
"1ro keep tearing your streets mp so the
grass can't grow Washington Star
II suppose your chances of winning
the affections OF Miss Gay are as good
az the next fellow'sf" II don't know
She called me Jim very affectionatcly
last night" You don't sayf Wen,
that's promising. isn't IT, Hardly,
considering that my name happens TO
Ike Tom"
The probabilities: "McGoozle, where
are you going to spend the summer
this yearT' We'll, we are hesitating
between a tour of Europe and couple
Of weeks Mt my wifn's uncle's farm,
near NHDETNllIe~~W Iu6 EllHHttS
strong in favor of Naperyille. Chi
caRo Tribune.
Farmer H0rnihand (reading the mar
kets,-"Pity tn President didn't hev
no more luck when he was a-huntln'
down there In Mississip." Mrs. Horni-
hand-"Why, SilasY Farmer Horni-
hand-"Haint you been a-readin' how
tn bears is playin' smash with tn cot
ton cropY'- Baltimore American.
A wOman's bargain; Mrs. Enpeck--
81 think, Henry, that our daughter has
made n very satisfactory marriage,
and that CHE viii succeed very well
In the management of her husband"
Henry Enpeck -"Why sou Mrs En-
peck-"I overheard her talking to him
this morning and she got him TO agree
10 a proposition like this. II you will
do as ! want, | promise to do the
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