Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-01-17
new YORK JtNITORS
Make Life lUnbearable for
Some Tenants.
HAVE THEIR FAVORITES
ARE REALLY MoNARcHs IN
THEIR FLATS
Their Sway is Arbitrary, Truculent
and Grounded in the Meanest
Kind Of Venality.
HAVE THEIR FAVORITES
Special Correspondence Of The Evening Star.

special Correspondence Of The Evening Star.
NEW YORK, January 10. 1908.
Let 1t not be imagined that the New York
| nat 1antor' has been lfbeled or that his
malignant activities have been over-depicted
| either In the comic or in the didactic press.
his toughness and tyranny could not be
| exaggerated. There are few endurable fiat
Jannors IN New York. It makes no diff
ference whether the fiat janitor be a Swede,
an 1r1shman. German, a Hun. a negro. or
| Cherry Hillite, he is nearly always the
basement bulldozer, the griffin of the
ground floor. He Is as pitiless as he Is
opinionated. as relentless as he is berry.
AS early as the day upon which you hum
bly, request him to show you the flats he
begins to hout you-even before you fall
under his absolute sway, that is to say. He
| examines you with suspicion as he picks up
his bunch Of keys. In his view all appli-
cants for flats are plainly porch-climbers,
| or worse. His general attitude, in showing
you the fiat, is strictly a take-it-or-leave-it
| one. He would scorn to descant upon the
merits of. his" flats.
Sixty a month, this fiat. eh?' you say
"Uh-huh," he replies, a hand upon the
door-knob as a hint that II you don't in
stantly decide you are expected to make
your immediate escape.
ANY rebate on account OF the fact that
we have no children?" you inquire, with a
feeble attempt at humor.
Nav" he replies, crushingly. II don't
sta and fr no kids Ground here, nohow."
"Wot dyouse tink I'm doin' all day?' he
inquiries, scornfully surveying you from
head to foot. 'playin' marbles?'
Rather liking the fiat you have been
oil Yorn1 In rV
to making an awful confession to the jani-
tor. You begin very rapidly.
I'VE have well-trained and thoroughly
house-broken fox terrier
Invited to Get Out.
IVY didn't youse say that before"" the
5anitor almost bawls at you, mandatorily
motioning you out Of the door. "Nottin
dom wit NUTS In these fats" and you
find yourself hustled down to the vestibule.
In the ground floor hall you see the yaller-
est of ochre-hued ours sky-larking about
barking at the bannisters The cur, how
ever, belongs to the janitor-which Is diff
ferent
At length, however, you find a janitor
who consents to- rent you fiat with your
canine encumbrance. But he holds the dog
over you as a club from the hour that you
move into the fiat until you move out. Even
dogleSS natterS are compelled, or course
to partake Of humble pie in the presence
Of the janitor, but there are something like
6OO, 900 f1atters in New York who have to
fairly grovel before their janitors because
they own dogs, With the dogs themselves,
fear of the fiat janitor has become instinct
i've. All New York dogs that have ever
resided in q fiat crouch and stink in the
opposite direction with their tails down
when they. see a uniformed fiat janitor COM
ing their way.
Your vassalage to your fiat janitor be-
gins on the morning after you move in. On
that morning neat-looking young driver
of milk wagon rings your door bell-they
are very quick at learning of new tenants
in flats in New York, these milkmen and
bakers and butchers and such-and solicits
your milk trade. Rather glad that he has
called, you make decker with him for
your daily milk and cream. The milk
wagon driver has not fairly got out Of the
building before there is another ring at
your doorbell, and you are confronted by
the wrathful janitor.
Say" the janitor inquiries of you,
breathing hard. did youse order y'r milk
from that slob?"
Tremblingly, you reply that you-you-er
'Well," the tanitor breaks in peremp-
torily, that guy don't oliver no milk in
this buildin', see? His milk's on tn punk
The felleril be around here in bout an
hour or so that yousen git y'r milk from,
an I'll send him up"
The Approved Milkman Appears.
The milkman approved Of by the janitor-
who, Of course, gets his ''bit'' or rake-ofr-
appears after a while, and, If you are wise,
you give him your milk and cream order.
On the following morning, when. the milk
man to whom you had the temerity to give
your milk order, makes his appearance in
the basement to put your milk and cream
bottles on the dumb-waiter. the janitor all
but boots him into the stIeet-they are
mighty men, physically, most these New
calmly abrogate your contracts.
Incredible? Not at all-fact! Any New
York fiatter will tell you Of how his janitor
whom he is compelled to deal. The janitor
stands in with certain tradesmen in the
various lines in his neighborhood, getting
his regular commission from each, and the
janitor comes pretty near to seeing that
all of ''his" tenants deal with those trades
men, His method is simple. The butcher
or baker with whom he. the janitor, has no
financial understanding is simply not per-
mitted to deliver goods in the building over
lorded by the janitor. So that If you want
to buy a steak or some cookies from the
butcher or baker with whom the janitor
is not on terms, you've got to sneak the
package into the building, under your over
coat, or somehow or another.
But you get used to this system in time,
after you've lived in half a dozen New
York flats, say, and by that time you will
find yourself upon the verge of asking the
janitor the name of some tailor of whom
he approves at whose establishment you
can have your measure taken.
If, upon arriving at your New York fiat
at the close of business, you find your wife
dissolved In tears, you are not to place her
head upon your manly chest, soothe her
and ask her what ails her., You don't have
to ask her, in fact, SO that to make such
an inquiry Of her would be mere waste of
breath Moreover, she wouldn't tell you,
anyhow, fearing complications. It's the
tanitor, of course. He has been abusing
her again. 1t is the1servant's Thursday off,
we will say. The regular hour for the plac-
ing of the garbage can on the dumb-waiter.
to be sent below to the janitor, is o'clock
sharp-very sharp Your absent-minded
wife, forgetting that 1t is the servants day
off, has not placed the garbage can upon
the dumb waiter. and. as she Is practicing
a coon song on thefpiano in the parlor pend
ing your arrival for dinner, she does not
hear the janitorss frantic Rawlings up the
dumb-waiter shaft Then the 1anitor as
cends the stairs. three at clip, too much
in hurry even to wait for the elevate
and-well when you come home you And
your wife sobbing among the couch pillows
and you do not ask her why, because you
know better. You like your fiat, and you
do not want to move-so what's to be done
about It?