The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-05-26
HOTEL LOBBY GLEANINGS
SECRETARY OF STATE STORMS A
VICTIM OF BOOK AGENTS.
He Tells of His Woes at the Columbia
CIub-Physician Among the Switch
men-HoteI Visitors.

Secretary OF State Dan Storms is not
partial TO book agents. In truth, he has
a decided aversion for them. On the other
hand. book agents are inordinately fond OF
Mr.. Storms and il is said that they display
toward him all the ELUSIVE. deep-seated
affection that is supposed to be reserved
for long-lost brothers. Mr.. Storms is at a
loss TO account for this.
do look like an easy mark for a gold
brick artist?' he asked last evening of
group Of friends in the lobby of the Column
bia Club. II know that 1 don't wear billy
goat whiskers, and don't believe that there
is any hayseed in my hair. but is there any
thing about my appearance that would lead
a casual acquaintance to spot me for
regular customer of lightning rod agents?
Or do 1 have the air of man who would
go out of his way to find a book agent to
get his name on a subscription list? Or.
when say no, does 1t sound like I said
yes?
"a DC asking questions Of that kind.
too" he continued YEARLY. In answer to the
lifted eyebrows and expostulations of his
friends, IF you'd been badgered to death
by book agents as have. I'll admit that no
one has attempted to sell me gold brick.
and that I haven't been approached by
lightning rod peddiers, but I've been up
against the book agent game until / have
murder in my heart and there's blood on
the moon, as see il. / have all the books
/ need and want, or at least I'm not in the
market for any more. but for the last six
months I've been a bright and shining
mark for every canvasser that has struck
Indianapolis. I've bought books that did
not want and never will want and I've done
it In self-defense, but I've reached the
limit and the next thing I do in self-de-
tense will be murder.
1.-The last experience had with an agent
drove me to this stand. A man called at
my Office the other afternoon. induced me
to see him on some pretext, and then for
two mortal hours worried and nagged at
me to subscribe for an edition de luxe of
somebody's history of something the life
and works OF somebody. At the outset
told him that would not buy any books of
didn't want TO see his prospectus, that
was busy, that he was wasting his time
throw him out of the Office, but couldn't
get rid of him until he said his little piece
forward and backward and then both ways
from the middle. When he did leave at last
he promised to be back this week and
see me again, because he knew that
was interested!
Now, some people have the faculty of
getting rid of book agents all right. Take
Frank Grubbs, for instance. This same
agent spotted Frank and started in on him.
Look here said Frank, L haven't time
TO listen TO you and / won't buy your book.
THAT never faxed the man and he went
ahead for five minutes without stopping for
breath or to give Frank word. Then
he stopped rather alphabetically and said.
'Of course / don't want to bore you. but
That's just exactly what you are do
ing snapped Frank. and he got up and
thing for the man TO do but get up and leave,
and he did. Now, If 1 could only think to
do thing like that I'd be all right. And
the secretary of state sighed heavily and
YEARLY once more.