davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05
Lawrence succoe1s Miller.

WASHINGTON. D. edward W.
Lawrence Of Rutland, Vt. was on
Wednesday appointed assistant attor-
ney general for the postohce de-
partment to succeed Daniel Y. Miller,
recently. removed. Mr.. Lawrence is
a member of the Vermont bar. The
investigation of affairs in the assist
ant attorney generals Office cQ1tinues.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05

Gen. William T. Sherman in 1864.
Here it was that the famous march
to the sea" was mapped out and the
plans laid for its successful conclu-
sion.
When Sherman in his campaign ap-
piled the fire brand to almost every
residence in Atlanta he spared the
Leyden home because Of its having
played such an important part in the
war
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05
This Will Interest Mothers.

Mother Grays Sweet Powders for Child
rem. used by Mother Gray, a nurse in
Children's Home, New York, Cure Fever
fshness, Bad Stomach, Teething Disorders,
move and regulate the bowels and destroy
Worms. Sold by all Druggists, 25c Sample
FREE. Address A 5. Oimsted LeRoy. NY
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05
RIOS is SENTENCED TO DEATH.

Filipino Leader and His Followers
Convicted of Murder.
MANILA-Ruperto Rios the fanati-
cal Filipino leader in the province of
Tayabas, who was captured about a
month ago. has been convicted of mur-
der and sentenced to death. Twenty
seven of his followers were also con-
victed and sentenced to various terms
of imprisonment.
A detachment of scouts has defeat
ed and scattered the Oaniguf island in
surgents. killing eighteen of them.
This. it is believed. will end the op-
position to the government in that
place.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05
Sir William Harcourt's Sickness.

Sir William Vernon HarCOurt. the
we'll known British liberal. who has
been i'll for some time. underwent an
operation for the removal of an alb
scess recently. The operation is be
lieyed to have been successful, and his
condition is satisfactory.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05
Eleven Children Drown.

POSEN-A ferryman a,,t; eleven
children were dro~ned a3 the result
of the capsizing OIL a ferryboat OIL the
rive- Wartke, near DemSro
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05

Lewis "Single Binder" straight SC
cigar Made by hand of ripe, thoroughly
cured tobacco which insures rich, salts
flying smoke. You pay l0c for cigars not
so good. Lewis Factory, Peoria, Ill.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05

Politeness is the salt OF life; you
hate to have it rubbed into you when
you are cut up.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05

In after years it makes a man
feel sad when he thinks how fresh he
used to be.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05

Though the world may owe every
man a living, only the persistent col
leCtOr gets it.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05

Piso's Cure cannot oe TOO highly spoken OF az
o cough cure.-J. w. BKTEN 32s Third Ave,
N. Minneapolis. Mimi, Jan s. 1900
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05

Oscar Weber of Atlantic City proves
his belief in the ''Rooseveltan theory"
by striving to pound out living as a
cabinetmaker for family of thirteen
children, ten of whom are boys. The
Oldest child has reached the advanced
age of Is. and the youngest is half
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05

1t takes one TO make a mind. two to
make a bargain. three to make mar
riage.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1903-06-05

past three.
Weber was born in Saxony and his
wife is Bohemian.
The accompanying photograph Of
the family is chip shy, as one child
was away from home when the camera
was trained on the group.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
The Gum-Chewing Cow.

A farmer in Knox County, Maine
has been saying mean things about 9
Rockland shipmaster, and Opinion re
ports a few. Quoth the farmer: 'If
had a hired man that made such d
piece Of work as he did about that COW
Of his, I'd send him Off
why, he bought cow Of mar
down my way; good critter-nothin' the
matter with her. But it seems the cap
taln's wife one day thought the mllH
tasted funny, and suggested that
p'r'aps she'd been eatin' spruce boughs
said the milk tasted like spruce. And
what does he do but go out In the pas
ture to watch the COW, to see what she
did eat.
THE COW was layin' down, chewin
her cud, and he went along and run his
finger in her mouth to see what she
was eatin'. Then he was mad. He put
a rope on the COW, and started off with
her.
Where are you goin' with the
cowF says neighbor.
"'GOin' to take her back to the fellel
that sold her to me. He's cheated me
and l won't stand itp
"The man wanted to know what was
the matter, and he went on to tel
about it. She wasn't eatln' boughs
he says, she was chewing gum; that's
what's the matter with the milk and
makes 1t taste like spruce. And he
says, that amt all. She's so addicted
to the habit that she's worn all hel
teeth out. She amt got an upper tooth
in her head. Back she goes, quickP
"0f course the man told him that II
was all nonsense; that cows never had
no upper teeth. But he didn't believe
word Of it, and went on and had q
tarnal row with the man that sold him
the COW. Guess he was never salts
fed about It."
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
People Eat Less Bread.

"Well, how's businessT asked q re-
porter Of q wholesale -four agent.
"You would be surprised" he re-
piled, ito know that In the time of
general prosperity we are selling less
hour than m hard times. From 1893
to 1895 l sold more -four thaz ever be-
fore or since Business is thriving in
many lines, but the country Is too pros
porous for the -four men and the bak-
ers."
why is iti Simply because the peo-
pie have money enough to buy other
things than bread When the country
is hard up people get along on bread
as the staple Of the table. Now they
use the fancy cereals, breakfast foods,
can use more meat and vegetables and
generally expand their diet, which. Of
course, lessons the demand for bread. I"
Washington Star.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
BORROW A sEAMAN's oARB.

Mendicants Who Overrun England
Dressed i'm Sailors Raiment.
In England there is a class of men,
dicants who are known to the thieves
generally as turnpike sailors" The
term is used to denote a beggar mas
Querading In mariners garb, Among
the Wessex peasants. whose vocabu-
larry, If limited, is singularly effective.
1t bears racier meaning. Thus they
designate particular class of "trav-
cling folk" who roam the country from
place to place as sailor roams the
sea. The name might well be applied
to the whole nomad trlbe--tinkers,
hawkers, gipsies, itinerant showmen
and the like-but for some reason or
other 1t is confined to the tramp prop
err the seedy, out-at-elbows individual
who is to be seen slouching along the
high road or begging from door to door
in the villages,
Sometimes he Is alone More often
q friend of his own degree keeps him
company. Occasionally a depressed
looking wife and ragged children strag.
gle at his heels. He tolls not, neither
does he spin. He pay no rent" as
an aggrieved householder remarked to
the present writer, and he seldom puts
into port for longer than night at
time unless compelled by clrcum.
stances beyond his control. when he
is lodged In spacious mansion, is
boarded gratis and is provided with
the "job" which he processes to be
always anxiously seeking and seldom
manages to find. AS a rule, he sleeps
'rough"-in the open, that is-or In
any convenient shed, except when the
state of his finances permits him the
luxury of the tramps' lodging house,
which, on the evidence of a country
policeman, is "the noisiest. drunken
nest"-he had almost said 'the jol-
liest"-place in the town.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
TRIAL OF A sPELLsINpER.
Must Be Prepared for Interruptions
and Ready to Make His Point.

Must Be Prepared for Interruptions
and Ready to Make His Point.
There is no man who needs to have
such quick wit as the stump speak
er." said a member OF the District bar
who dabbled in politics out in Ohio a
good deal before he came to Washing.
ton to take government Job, and
eventually TO practice law. THE law
yer may claim that he is the one who
has the monopoly ON presence Of mind
while he is speaking, but, for me, just
give me one of those veteran poll
ticlans who spends two months every
year or so trying to get votes. Some
times 1t is story and at other times
an evasive answer that will quiet the
crowd, but a man must always have
his wits with him.
Il think l take more pride in one
little reply l once made to an in
terruption than in anything ever did
in my whole life. / was sent one
evening out to a precinct that was the
stronghold of the enemy. The meet
ing was held In the schoolhouse and
the building was crowded, mainly With
people opposed to us. In addition to
the issues Of the campaign hot local
fight was on, and charges Of grave
and, 1 regret to say, accurate charac-
ter had been flled against one Of the
candidates on our ticket. The charge
had appeared In a little two-by-four
sheet that was conducted in the inter-
ests Of the opposition.
"I got up and started in on my
speech. OF course was interrupted,
but paid little attention to these
pleasantries, for they all come in a
spellbinder's life. Finally an intelli.
gent-looking old farmer arose and re-
spectfully begged to be allowed to ask
question. The request was so cour-
teously made that for a moment l was
off my guard and l said as pleasantly
as possible: Certainly
"'How about those charges against
Sheriff Smith, he inquired with an air
of triumph, as he excitedly waved a
copy Of the paper in which they were
printed. was struck speechless. Two
things were against me. was young
and easily disturbed, and the charges
were true, and could not refute them.
The old gentleman saw my plight, and
pressed his advantage, repeating the
question and shaking the paper in my
face 1t all came to me like a fash.
"'Great Lordp l exclaimed, In a
voice Of thunder. DO you mean to
say that you, reputable man, read
that paperT
That was enough. The sheet was
disreputable, and the old man hung
his head sheepishly for second, and
the crowd, seeing his embarrassment,
hooted him until he sat down.
II finished my speech in triumph,
and think l made some votes that
night but did not breathe easily un-
til / was In the carriage and started
for home"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
MhvIt Tnntnd Ritt.r.

A physician had occasion to prescribe
quinine to patient, an elderly lady
who was not used to modern ways OF
administering medicine. The quinint
was ordered in capsules-twelve, each
containing four grains. About week
later the doctor was called to attend q
daughter of the old lady, and he no
ticed what he supposed were the qul
nine capsules he had prescribed. Turn,
ing to the mother, he asked why she
had not taken the medicine.
"Sure, doctor, do you mean that bit
ter powder? Yes, | took It, but had
hard work getting II out of those little
glass things 1t was put up in."-Phila.
delphia Ledger.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
The COntrabandIst; :Fss5 E$$:s $:
$F-====- THE
] One Life'S Secret ,ss$e. ,sSss x


said Louis, with a smile. But this sub
iect is not pleasant one-is it? Sup
pose try to Danish from your memory,
for the present the image Of this wicked
man, and we will talk of something rath-
er pleasanter. Tell me who and what
this is, my little friend"
He had opened his portfolio and now,
as he spoke, passed to her the sketch
which he had taken fifteen minutes pre-
viously.
She looked at 1t, and bright smile
sbone in her hazel eyes.
Monsieur" she said, "it is my own lit
tie home. How faithfully you have
sketched it, There is the mignonette on
the sill; and my pretty cat, asleep by the
box, in the sunshine; and one edge OF
the bookcase, which you can see within,
and which hangs close beside the win
dow. You must, then, have drawn this
before | saw you-before ! heard you
coming just now."
"Yes--exactly; before you saw me. But
there Is something, Rose, which you
seem to consider Of less consequence than
your cat and the mignonette. since you do
not mention it. | wonder II you have
observed it. Who is it that sits by the
door sewing? My cousin HelenT
mo, monsieur; it is not your cousin.
You did not mean 1t for Mademoiselle
Montauban. 1t is, think, Rose La
monte"
"You are right. 1t is Rose Lamonte.
Well, Rose, | took this without your
knowledge, therefore, suppose should
ask your permission to retain 1t. But
do not anticipate refusal. do not
know that | shall heed it, il one is given" T"
"In that case, monsieur" returned the
young girl, smiling at his frankness-"in
that case, it would be useless either to
give or withhold permission. 1t is yours,
however, by right, monsieur"
"Then l will keep it. And now, since
the morning is nearly gone, | think can
stay no longer should like to see your
father, Rose; but since he does not come,
| must wait until another time"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
4 Sraten of snrin-

Ascum-Mr. Beetem tells me he al
ways gets his groceries in big lots
Says he finds it more economical.
Sands (the grOcerl-Ol he knows how
to economic.
Ascum-But how can that be econ
omiealI The more he gets the NOR,
he has to pay for.
Sands-YOu don't know him. The
more he gets the more be doesn't pay
for.-Philadelphia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
Len as Willing Slaves.

Although slavery in the United
States has long been abolished, there
are still some reminders of the insti-
ution In the south. 1t is doubtful IL
the emancipation proclamation OF
President Lincoln altogether abolished
the idea in the minds of some good
old southern families. This was clear.
ly demonstrated by the will of an
aged woman who died recently in
southern Maryland. Before the war
there had been many slaves In the
family, and at the time Of her death
three old black mammies still remain
ed Of the once large number. Her
goodness to her old servants was re-
paid by a lifetime Of devotion. They
swore never to leave her, and she in
turn kept faith with them.
During her last illness she made a
will dividing all her goods and chat
tells equally between three daughters.
Each Of her children got a barrel of
pork, COW, ten bushels OF wheat and
third Of the corn meal and poultry on
the old homestead. Then came this
paragraph, eliminating, of course, the
names Of the daughters:
To my daughter leave Aunt
Mimi; to my daughter - leave
Aunt Jennie; to my daughter
leave Aunt Sallie. ask each of my
daughters to take care Of tine old ser
want bequeathed to her until the death
OF said servant"
Each Of these old mammies consid-
ers that she is as much the property
Of the daughter TO whom she was
"bequeathed" as II this last will and
testament had been made In ante-be.
'um days, and no amount Of freedom
talk would induce them to assert thei
independence, so strong is their ale
ION for the family.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01

sandy-Why are yer running so fast.
pardl
Cinders-Dere's a lynchln' mob be-
hind me.
Sandy-Dey don't want to lynch yer,
do deyi
Cinders-No but dey want dis
clothes-line I'm wearin as suspenders
fer de rope
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
Her ONLY Com n1ent.

Nevertheless my dear" said the
masculine portion Of the combine,
there are a number Of men In the
world who are my mental interiors"
John" reJoined the wife Of his
bosom as she looked him square In the
eye, you were always a confirmed
cynic."
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01

Count Yaeum-Ah, eet seems Eat ze
rich American girls are getting scareer
and searcer for Us.
Count Dodo-Yes, monsieur. all re
get-rich-quick' concerns are receiving
hard blows In America
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
Terrible to Contemplate.

LaMontt-I see some one has invent
ed projectile In the shape Of cigar
that will annihilate an army.
LaMoyne-You don't sayl l bet II
they made 1t In the shape Of a racing
automobile 1t would kill twice as
many.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
scheme That Failed.

Say" exclaimed the man In a
hoarSe whisper, as he met his wife at
the depot didn't telegraph you not
to bring your motherp
"Yes," answered she, "but she open
ed the message and insisted on coming
along to investigate. Chicago Daily
News.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01

"Pclehunter talks about making an
Arctic trip in an automobile"
why, he couldn't reach the pole
that way"
mo, but he could come back and
tell how he didn't"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
No Prnhfin IL

She-He's quite & rising young au-
thor. He goes in for realism, you
know.
He-Yes; but be hasn't realized on
his writings to any Philadel-
phla Record
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
A SeHara Tent.

Her Father (protestingly)-You wish
to marry my daughter, ehi Why, she
has only just graduated
suitor (magnanimously)-I know 1T
And yet l love her!-Puck.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
Feminine Charity.

He-Miss Elderleigh certainly has a
very expressive face.
She-Yes, indeed. It's the very best
money can buy.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
Ernen.Ira Lnrnrian.

Vera Hitone-Wlll you keep your
promise and resign from your club Just
IS soon as l become your wifsi
Cal U. Mette-Tn have to. Couldn't
afford both, you know.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01

Pete-Dey tell me dat bully was al
ways coming around here looking for
scraps. Did 10 accommodate himf
sam-Should say So All hit Aim
wid = bowl OBJ hash.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
Preaaed.

"Why, how rumpled your shirt waist
Is, Edith"
Dear me! and 1t has only just been
pressed, too"
Edith was quite as self-possessed as
ever. But St. John colored deeply.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
LET Us ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA.
RIOuS HUMoRlSTS

Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World Over-sayings that Are Cheer
full to Old or YOung-Funny Selec-
tions that You will Enjoy.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
Quite Another Matter.

Before give you my answer" said
the fiuffy-haired summer girl, Il would
like to know IL you are In position
to keep me in the style to which have
always been accustomed"
IF the styles don't change too often
l am" replied the wise youth. "Other-
wise the odds are in favor of my going
broke"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
She Knew Him,

He-When did you begin to suspect
l was In love with you?
She-The day you told me l could
have anything wanted on the bill Of
fare.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
Important 70 Younr Men,

A girl would rather have half
pound Of Accent candy in fancy box
with a red ribbon round 1t than a
pound of s0-cent candy In paper bag.
-Somerville Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
Hot Draft.

Mahoole-Ain't yez tn wan that
towld me nivsr to dhrink wather wild
out boilin'f
Physician-Yes, sir.
Mahoole-Thn OF hov a moind to
murther ye. Oh dhrank boiled wather
avn almost burned me mouth of.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01

"s!r," began the young man, II came
to ask your daughters hand in mar
riage. l feel that l am not worthy of
her, but"
Young man." interrupted the stern
parent, Il fully agree with you on that
point, and there is nothing further to
be said on the subject. Good-evening,
air"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
He Was q Rude Man.

"John," said the young wife who
prides herself on being sensible right
up to the limit, lust notice how easy.
fitting my new shoes are"
"Yes, I see," answered John,
"And john" she continued, do you
know why l always get my shoes so
larger"
oh" replied the ungallant other
half of the sketch, Il suppose it's be-
cause you have such big feet"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
Servants,

First Housewife-Some days l undo
about everything the servant does,
Second Observation-Disclosures How
do you darel
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
REGULATOR LINE
PORTLAND AND THE DALLES ROUTE
All Way Landings.
STEAMERS

All Way Landings.
STEAMERS
"BAILEY GATZERT' "DALLEs CITY"
REGULATOR" "METLAKO"
Connecting at Lyle, Wash, with
Columbia River & Northern Railway Co.
FOR
Wahkeaens. DAILY, Centerville, Goldendale and
all Klickitat Valley points.
Steamers leave Portland daily Except Sun
day a. m, connecting with G. R. & N. trains
at Lyle 6;15 p. m. for Goldendale, arrives The
Dalles $3.50 p. IN.
Steamer leaves The Dalles daily except Sun.
day. 1880 a. m.
CIR. q N. trains leaving Goldendale 6:l5 q.
m connects with this steamer for Portland, ar
riving Portland p. m.
Steamer Metlako plying between Cascade
Locks and The Dalles leaves Cascade Locks
daily Except Sunday a. M. arrives The
Dalles II 80 a. m, Leaves The Dalles p. m, ar
rives Cascade Locks D. m.
The steamer.Bailey Gatzert leaves Portland
a. m. Tuesdays Thursdays and Saturdays;
leaves The Dalles a. m. Mondays, Wednesdays
and Fridays. Round trip tickets between these
points so cents, Good on Steamer Bailey
Gatzert" only, affording an excellent opportu-
nifty to view the magnificent scenery Of the
Columbia river.
Excellent meals served on all steamers. Fine
accommodations for teams and wagons
For detailed information OF rates. berth res
ervations, connections, etc, write or call on
nearest agent. n, c. CampbeIl
Gen. office, Portland, Or. Manager.
Beele & Morse Agents, Hood River, Or.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
A Change Of oninion.

$50 they named cigar after your
Yea" answered the sporting man,
in dubious tone.
Quite a compliment"
Il thought so till l smoked one Of
the cigars. Then l concluded it was q
libel"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
Power Used I'm Piano-P1av,nr

One playing on the plano the music
for three songs sxerts enough force to
raise 1000 pounds.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01

Henry" whispered the bride of two
hours, you don't regret marrying me,
even YETI"
mo, darling" replied Henry. "Not
even yetr'
The train sped on, and she was hap
py for another FIVE minutes.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
Doing Hia share.

Angry Father-Young man, you are
sitting up too late with my daugh-
ter. Last night l heard you kissing
her.
Caperton-Well, sir, some one has
got to.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01

Mrs. Witherly-I bought this rug for
the baby to play on.
Witherly-Well, don't let her know 1t.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01

Many Of mans mistakes are the re-
suit Of his letting desire get strangls
hold on duty.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01

Sweet sInger-Ths tragsdian says in
coming through the Rockies on q train
last winter he couldn't see out Of the
windows
SOubretts-Terrible snowstorm. /
guess.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
4 Common AmIction.

"How's he fixedT
"Oh, he has the usual strawberry ap-
petite and prune income. Puck.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01
THE GLACIER
Published Every Thursday
$I.5O a YEAR.

Advertising, so cents per inch, single
column, per month; one-half inch or
less, 25 cents. Reading notices, 5 cents
line each insertion.
THE GLACIER prints all the local
news fit to print.
When you see it in THE GLACIER
you may know that others see it.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-01

Miss Matilda-Your company is dis
tasteful to me.
Corporal Pinhead-Then I'll resign
from II. don't Ike being q soldier,
anyway.