The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1903-06-10
FULTON COUNTY NEWS.
ALL SORTS OF PARAGRAPHS.

edge of dollar.
BY always looking on the bright
side we never strain our eyes trying
TO pierce the darkness.
It's no fun for a girl to firt with a
man unless she knows she is making
some other girl weepy.
If the rain catches you without an
umbrella just remember that there was
time when there were no umbrel-
las.
If the big fish gets away to-day you
stand chance of catching something
better than little ones tomorrow.
Some people are so impatient that
they think If they set hen in the
evening they ought to have fried chick
en- for breakfast.
II your boy wears out dozen pairs
of shoes year it's because he is
strong and healthy, and shoes are
cheaper than physicians.
Ostend-Is it true that woman was
made Of rib bone?
Paw-Thats whist they say, my son,
but believe 1t was a jawbone.
Solomon answered all the questions
that the queen of Sheba put to him,
but it's certain that Solomon could
have been stumped by three year-old
boy.
Miss Passay When was 10 papa
gave me the cutest little diamond ring
you ever saw, and
Miss Speitz-Gracious . What
memory you have.
What's the trouble, Willie ? said
Mrs. Brown to her small son who was
crying.
My kite won't fly, sobbed Willie,
and made it out of fly paper, too
A physician declares that people
who sleep with their mouths shut live
longest. To this might be added that
if they keep them shut while awake
they will live more comfortably.
Wigg-Something ought to be done
to euro Saphedde of the wonderful
opinion he has of himself.
Wagg-The only thing that will
help him in that respect is to get mar
ried.
He-Miss Gidday is splendid dam
Ger: so light on her feet.
Miss Chellus Think so
He-O, yes, light in the extreme.
Miss Chellus mean light in
the extremes, don't you.
"Now, WILLIE" said the teacher,
'you may spell Kitten
'K-i-i-t-t-e-n, " he slowly spelled.
''No, no." exclaimed the teacher:
'kitten hasn't got two is"
well, ours has" replied the small
observer.
'Now, then, children" said the
teacher, who had been commenting up
on polar expeditions, "who can tell
what fierce animals inhabit the regions
of the North Pole?" "Polecats,"
shouted the boy at the foot of the
class.
Now boys, said the Sunday school
teacher: can any of you boys name the
three great feasts of the Jews? Yes'm
can; replied one lite fellow. Very
we'll, Johnny, what are they? Break
fast, dinner and supper, was the un-
consciously logical reply.
How dye do, Brother Hayrick?
said the country editor; what are you
filing the saw for?
Cause it's dull; replied Farmer Hay
rick; what did we s'pose?
Him. always file things when they re
dull, do you?
Wall, no; thar's that weekly sheet
o'yourn; never file that.
Stuckinham Selph-It's easy to obey
the Biblical injunction when ones
neighbor is pretty girl.
Miss Nexdore-Surely it isn't easy
for you.
Stuckinham Selph-O, yes. refer
to the command to love thy neigh
bor.
Miss Nexdore-Exactly, but the com
mand is really love thy neighbor as
thyself.
What part of fish is found at the
end of book? The fin-is.
What is the darkest part of tune?
The pitch.
What is the lightest part of tune?
The air.
What are the obligatory parts of a
tune? The notes.
What part of a cat is found in nov
Ell? The tale tail.
What part of story resembles
piece of ground? The plot.
Don't expect to ask for any pity or
sympathy in the world, says an ex-
change. You won't get it, and you
VIII only lose time and add to your
distress. II you get into trouble
stiifen your upper lip, hold up your
head, act as II you were worth millions
defy your enemies, and fight your way
out like man. Have more iron and
less putty In your blood. Be more OF
oak and less of vine, and Won will do