The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-10-27
DER GERMAN COBBLER.
Mr.. voslestein Drops IN 70 Tell Of q
New Experience.

Hans" says Mr.. voglestein. ash he
comes in my place der odder day nit
some old hats on his head. do YOU
hear What happens to me last week."
Maybe you vhas in SHALL I saws.
Don't be some fools E5aferybody
tells me dot I should hat some mu-
seums init my soda water works. und
so last week / put him in. Der 6rst
thing as you go in vhas a stuffed lion.
] pus a sign on him, Der king of
beasts und last week man comes
in und looks aroundt und looks ugly
und SPAS:
.' I vhas no man to take bluff. who
told you dot lion vhas der king of
I read it in some books
NheH, l dispute 1t. Take off dot
sign or ] shall knock him out in one
round. vhas der king of beasts my
4 tried to argue NIT him dot he
Was no beast. but he kicks dot stuffed
non all oafer my museum, und den
cuts on his tail und walks away init
Il For $50 buys a wax figure of Ma
poieon crossing the Alps. He vhas
climbing up NIT his feet und waving
a nag in his hand. und it gifts me great
pleasure dot all der people praise him.
wore ASH one tousand persons vhas
delghted When a young man nit a
placE eve comes in ind limDs aroundt
and splits oafer his shoulder und says:
Nheu. 1 don't belief you hat soOch
L
make me GOD like dot und call me Ma
poleon?'
My frendt. don't you know some
tlngs" says I. Dot figure vhas der
great NAPOLEON und he vhas walking
oafer some mountains. Don't you neffer
hear of NaDoleon?'
'Neffer in all my life Dot vhas
my hair und eyes und body. If YOU
, aont give me feefty dollars I shall
s'heak init dot man more ash ten
minutes. but he gets madden all der
time BY und by he shumDs in nit a
Ilght-hand swing und knocks dot Ma
poleon all to pieces. und he also kicks
me three times before he goes out No
pody finds Napoleon in my place any
more. / fix him oop ash we'll ash 1
can und mark him Der Tomb of Shake
kpeare. If SOMEBODY comes in und
CLAIMS he vhas der Tomb himself 1
can't hello it und shall call on der no.
nee to put him oudt.
+x,.d Dot Xhas badt for me, Hans. but
Two weeks ago a man makes me der
ngure or Queen Elizabeth und she
WAS SO grand dot eaferybody vhas full
OF praise. Three days ago man comes
IN my place und sees dot figure ind
=" Who vhas dot old girl in der cor
" She vhas Queen Elizabeth
Was she deadt?'
"'Of course
:, How long vhas she deadt, eh?'
More ash one hundred wears
1 can't belief dot he says IF she
Was deadt one hoonered years Why does
she firt NIT me? Don't you see her
wink her eyes? / guess I go oafer und
talk to her.
II beg him to keep AWAY. but he
goes oafer und lifts dot Queen Elizabeth
oop und dances her aroundt dot
museum, und poorly queek her head
und arms und legs fall off und she vhas
in ten pieces. 1 hat no more queens in
my place. I fix dot one oop und call
her Dot F'isherman's Daughter but der
pooblic vhas not deceived
und how vhas it aboudt my police
mans? Listen to me, Hans, While 1
tells you. For $50 a man says he shall
make me sooch a wax policeman ash
neffer vhas before, und I eff him der
Job. l put dot figger in der middle of
der museum, und he vhas so Iife-like
dot almost ask him to go oudt und
hat some beer. In two days a Teller
comes in und looks around und says:
I vhas like a lamb if somebody
don't fool NIT me. but if dot cop tries
TO run me in he vhas paralyzed forever
more. You shust gif him a pointer not
to take me for a spring chicken
I laugh at him und explain dot it
vhas only wax figure, but he walks
around und gets mad und says:
" 'Vhell, I don't like his looks, und /
vhas down on der whole gang. I Will
shust gift him a little token to remember
me by