davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13
.:Casey--I(id We hear about poor Elan
AN ADVERTISING MORAL.

Vnse Upon 4 time a donkey fell into i
deep hcAe, and after nearly starving,
caught sight of a passing fox and i'm
plored the stranger to help him out.
Il am too small to aid you,' said the
fox. -bVt l will give you some advice.
Only a few rods away is a big, strong
elephant: Call to him and he will get
You ont in 4 5iffy."
After the fox had gone the donkey thus
rea%oned: Il am very weak from want Of
noulishment. Every move I make is just
SO much additional loss of strength. If |
raise my voice to call the elephant l
shall be weaker yet No; / viii not waste
my substance that way. 1t is the dirty
OF the elephant to come without calling. u
So the donkey settled himself back,
and eventually starved to death.
Long afterward the fox. on passing the
hole. saw within Il whitened skeleton, and
remarked:
"1f it be that the souls Of animals airs
transmigrated into men, that donkey win
become one of those who can never af-
ford to advertiser -Cassel's SATURDAY.
journal.
Mrs. Gunning-Oh, Harry! Surely,
YOU weren't cruel enough to shoot this
poor little bird?
Mr.: .Gunning-Why. YES. I thought
YOU might have it stuffed and put on q
bonnet.
Mrs. Gunning-Oh. how kind and
thoughtful Of you!-Philadelphia Record.
THE PLACE.
You can't very we'll miss it." sal
neck-Whiskcred and pessimistically-in-
clined Farmer Bentover, in reply to the
inquiry of the stranger. Just keen on
along dow the road till you come TO =
white house, Oh the right-hand side. with
green blinds, where there's a comma nd
ing-Sized woman inside. shaped consider
ably like a clothes-horse. trimming q hat.
or sewing Il rag mat, or something of tho
sort. and at the same time putting nm
preserves, rocking the cradle, believing in
predestination and a literal hell, picking
flaws in the entire neighborhood, watch
ing to see everybody that passes by, Won
derlng to gracious where they are going,
and what for, and giving large, angular
pieces of her mind to a small, frightened
looking husband, who appears to be on
the point. most of the time, of trying to
crawl inside of himself, as a Kangaroo is
aaid to hide in it's own w~atch-pocket in
time of danger. Yes, that's where nv
second cousin, Canute J. Pennypacker.
liyes."-Smart Set.
Miss Mainchance-I suppose you've
heard of my engagement to Mr.. jerks.
Her ~Friend-Yes, and I confess I was
surprised. You told me once that you
wouldn't marry him for 10000.
Miss Mainchance-I know, dear, but
discovered later that he had ESQ, OOO.-
Torco1FS Journal
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

: MAN, dye think yere in the streets of
Glecsa, that We gang about like a mad
man, crying grossetsy -, 5ss.. = i,
"Ech" he replied with a sense. of re
lief, we're just the man l was looking
for. Dye. ken the way to the Hotel
-Y'-Sccttish American. IL :~"s&. !.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

Economy is the road to wealth. PUT
NAM FADELESS DYE is the road to
economy.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

The comet Of 1843 was the only one
during the last century visible in broad
daylight. ~ - -. -. - i. 4
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

i. Little Darling-That was a white sugar
almond 1 gave 90, Mr.. Squeams; does 90
like it? ~'>4t -. 49,. ~ =
Crusty Old Bachelor (who is trying
very hard to swallow the dainty in. cues
tionl-Very:, much indeed, thank you.
LittlS.D arling-1t was pink once.-Tit-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13
MUST BE.

When Russell Sage returned to work.
He rode in an auto clear down town.
Now, can it be, that in New York
The price Of gasoline's gone down?
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

-Eighty-ive years was the average
age OF the last four persons buried in
Creditor churchyard, Devon, Eng.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13
PICKLED PIGS FEET.
DIR w Ply
George 5. jenkins in Chicago Tribune.

Church, think there is room for i'm
provement in the New York Elevated
cars. Gotham-Yes, and that is about
the only thing there is room for.-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13
THE BEST THEY HAD

While in one of the smaller cities Of
Ohio recently the writer came across a
sign prominently displayed in the window
of the main store of the town, which
read as follows:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13
4 MARVEL OF. SCIENCE.

During a visit. to the South With al
eclipse expedition some yedrs ago an
eminent American professor met an old
negro servant whose duty It was Ito look
after the chickens OF: the establishment
where he vas staying. The day before
the eclipse took place the professor i'll
an idle momen called the: old man to
him and said: "Sam, if Tomorrow MORN
ing Mt II O'Clock you watch our chickens
you will find they will all go to roOst."
Sam was skeptical, OF course, but when
at the appointed, hour next day the SUI
in the. heavens. was darkeneq and the
chickens retired to rOost the :negEo:s as
tofishment knew no bounds. He APP
preached the professor in awed' wonder.
."Massa,' tie asked, how long. .ag did
you know dat dem chickens would go to
~Oh, a long time,7 said the professor,
airily.
~RM you know a year ago, NASSAU"
Then dat beats de debil." exclaimed
the astonished old man. Dem chickens
weren't Matched a year agov'-Omaha
Mercury.
An freshman, just returning from the
mother country af7e' a short visit, was
met at the steamship pier by a friond.
who was unaware of his fathers recent
death, AMI, after greetings. proceeded to
ask after the old folks at home,
Say, Pat! Is your father alive yet??'
mo, Mike; not yet was the reply
The Observer.
PICKED OUT THE TOUGHEST DUCKS.
Frederick NJ. Passow, the captain OF
the american liner St. Louis, used to live
in Philadelphia, and when on shore leave
llked to Go the family marketing.
In the Philadelphia Terminal market
the other day a butcher told a story of
Capt. Passow.
"lle came here one morning." said the
butcher, latter ducks. He wasn't known
here then, and to- IA poultry dealer he said:
"'I1oW many ducks have you got alto
swered.
"'Well;. I'll tell you. I'm a boarding
house keeper, and want you to pick out
tor me the nine toughest ducks of the
lot IAN
1.-The dealer, with. am amiable and
Pleased smile, did this, laying. the nine
tough ducks in one pile on his right. and
the three remaining tender mes in an
other pile on his left.
q the latter Capt. Passow laid his
hand.
"''On SECOND thought he said, I'll lust
take these "-Pitsburg Gazette.
merry?
Cassidv-sorra the word.
~Casey-Shure, the big stame hammer
chist al killed him.
CnssihE-WIell, Ohm not surprised, for
he always had a wake chist.-Philadel-
phia Press.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

MRS. SOOTHING SYRUP "a,
Children teething: softens the gums, reduce, In.
dainmation. aIsys pain, cures wind cole. "a
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13
THE CONCLUSION HE REACHED

The dog had been chasing his W tail
for a quarter of an hour.
Papa, quoth Willie, what kind of
a dog is that?"
"a watch dog, my son." responded the
parent.
Willie pondered a moment.
"Well," he finally observed. .':from tho
length Of time it takes him to wind him
self up l think it must be a Waterbury
watch dog.'-Town and Country.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

The horses owned by Chip Coughard
of Spencer and Lewis Goodwin are to
trot three best heats in five for a purse
OF $1OO.-Worcester Telegram.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13
ACCOMMODATING

May ! ask for the loan Of a dollar?'
Certainly"
(After a pause.) well, where is it?'
"Where is whatW
"Why, the dollar" = ,T.4 ..H#.
Blessed if I know. Wish I did-rd
divide with you. Haven't got an extra
cigar in your clothes, have you?''-Kan-
sas@ City Journal.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

1T is estimated that there are $4,000
Darmaids in England. #a
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13
RED HOT.
CHANGED TEIE SENTENCE.

Some Of the keenest things said on the
bench are attributed to the late Judge
Walton, says the Lewiston Journal.
While holding a term OF the supreme
court at Augusta, he sentenced a man
to seven years in prison for a grave
crime.
The respondents counsel asked for an
investigation of the sentence on the
ground that the prisoners health was
very poor.
Your HONOR" said he, II am satisfied
that my client cannot live out half that
sentence
well, under those circumstances
said the judge, 81 will make it for life
instead of seven years."
The respondent chose to abide by the
original sentence.
History PROFESSIONALLY wasn't Martin
Luther adjusted to his environment?
Student-Because the Diet of Worms
didn't suit his taste, I suppose.-Colum-
bia Jester.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

-Ge,rmany's navy costs 81, 900 an
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

pat has got an awful cash in hi
face"
"Does it seem to hurt him much?"
mo. He uses it to eat with"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13
THE CRAWF1sH AND OTHERS

I1E N11a W Z I6f5 AND VIH ECH3N
devresbo leye 10Y evaH
,yarg ,Lsifwarc eht tahT
drawrof OF OF redro ri
:yaW rehtO eht xeOf1
,yas dina
devresbo reve uoy evan
ohw elpoep enloS
yltcaxe drawrof oG
POD sehsifwarc eht sA
.notpmaL j W
New York SIN.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

Young Husband Ito wife)-Didn't I
telegraph you not to bring your mother
with you? Young Wife, know; that's
read the telegram!-St. Louis Mirror.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

She lover 40 and homely)-Oh, If I
could only get a love letter for once in
my life. even is it had no stamp!L-Flie-
gende Rlaetter. . -"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13
GOOD LITTLE WILLIE.

At a euchre party in Bala the ether at
terroon a young woman told a funny
STORY, that she had a, part in, in Colorado,
recently. II was calling" she said, ION a
lady in Denver, and in the parlor with us
We're the two SONS of the house, Willie
and George, aged, respectively, 8, and 5
years. Willie, was very quiet and good,
but George behaved awfullv. He broke
an ornament; he fretted and cried; he
kicked his. mother; he cut his finger with
a fruit knife. Finally my hostess said to
him: George, why can't you behave your
self? Just look at Your brother Willie.
See what a perfect little gentleman he is.
His good conduct ought to make you
ashamed. He-a perfect gentleman, YOU
"a little beast The good Willie. sitting
upright in his chair, smiled acquiescence
to al this praise. George is making a
.d-n FOOL Of himself, isn't hep he re-
marked 'complacently:' - Philadelphia
Record.
-:O:-
RED HOT.
A soubrette who had made a hasco,
In despair drank q pint of tabasco.
Soon the hair on her head
Turned from yellow to red
And she then got a job from Belasco.
49,. Columbia Jester.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-03-13

\ Michigan man owed another man
$!O. 1t was due ION Tuesday. AT mid
might OH Monday night the man Who
owed the money came around, woke his
friend up and told him ne couldn't paw
the bill. '
1T worried me so I couldn't sleen.
and so l just thought I'd tell you now
he said.
1IDe1n it," said the other man, '"why
didn't o wait till morning2 Now /
can't sleep either. TIN Lyre.
How do you like this young pianist?"
Il think she is a good Christian!e"
"4es; her right hand does not know
Paris.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22
DOUGLAS WANTS A FORT

Douglas, and the United States has al ways maintained a sort of barracks at San Bernardino The government had a telephone line to San BernardinI for many years, and this was a regular stopping place for the soldiers when out on long march.
 Douglas offers many inducements for a barracks to be located near there. The two main points is the choicest ofIocations and the unlimited supply of pure good fresh water
 It is for lack of water that started the soldiers to leave Fort Grant. The barracks at Fort Huachuca are crowd ed now and there is not half enough room for the regular quota of men.
 Prominent men in Washington will be appealed to and the entire south west asked to assist Douglas in get. ting the barracks.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22
DOUGLAS NEWS NOTES
Many Prespectors Preparing 10 Go to
 Scene of Gold Strike
Especial Correspondence.) )


 Douglas, Feb. 21.-A prominent Tombstone capitalist has purchased several lots in Douglas located near the center of town and will shortly let contract for a three-story hotel. The Calumet & Arizona smelter will blow in their second furnace on the first of March and their copper produc, tion will climb up a good deal with two furnaces going day and night, The capacity Of the new furnace is 300 tons day.
 Ten carloads of structural iron billed to the Douglas Reduction Works ar. rived Saturday and is being unloaded at the Queen smelter. Work will be resumed at once and the iron placed in position.
 Harry Duey, who has been chief clerk in the general office at Bisbee Of the Copper Queen company, is now located at the Douglas Reduction Works. MT. Duey is looking after the accounting department for the Copper Queen in Douglas.
 The visiting Knights of Pythias have all returned home and say that Doug. las is the best town in the southwest and the Douglas people know how to entertain their friends.
 The KIP ball Friday night was largely attended by the Douglas and Bisbee members and the banquet was one of the finest ever served in the southwest.
 Judge R. o. Johnson is making it warm for the hobo, and any one seen loitering on the streets without any means of earning a livelihood is given short notice to move on and not stop inside of the boundary of his precinct Engine No. IT, which figured in the head end collision some time ago al Forrest and on which Engineer Will | Cherry was fatally injured, has been turned out of the Southwestern shops and is on the freight run from Doug | las to Hermanos The engine has been completely rebuilt and looks as though she had just come from the builders.
 ] Master Mechanic Struthers has day and night forces at work in the Doug las shops getting the engines out as
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22
ARRESTED FOR
 STEALING RIFLE
Six Rifles and Two ReVoNers were Taken, One of Which was Found io of
c. A. NEWMAN'S STORE WAS
 ROBBED SEVERAL DAYS AGO

Six Rifles and Two ReVoNers were Taken, One of Which was Found in Possession of a Mexican On February 11th the store of c. A Newman on O. K. street was entered and robbed. The burglar took away with him six Winchester rifles end tNo revolve' The matter has oeel kclt quiet in order to give the officers an opportunity to land the thief or ;b'eves as he case may be.
 Yesterday evening in Justice Me Douald's court Ignacio Pa'omares and another Mexican named Ferris were examined for stealing the rifles. Dur ing the day Palomares had been ex- amined and found guilty of stealing one of the rifles. Sentence was sus- pended in order to give him a chance to fine the rest of the stolen goods.
 The defendant stated that it was Ferris who sold him the rife, which he had when arrested, and that he bought it on February 12Jh for the sum of SIP. He identified Ferris in the courtroom, and was positive that he was the nan
 Ferris stoutly denied the accusation, and said that he had not even seen the defendant on the night he was al legged to have sold him one of the stolen rifles. The evidence showed that Palomares was more likely to be guilty than Ferris.
 1 An entrance to Newman's store was made through the rear by breaking into one of the windows The robbery
 was not discovered until the next morning, when the proprietor came to open up for the days business. l The officers were furnished with de. scriptions and the numbers of the
 stolen guns, and at once began to work
 on the case. A few nights after Palo-
 mares was arrested on Chihuahua hill
 with rife under his coat, as if to hide it from being seen.
 The rife captured bore the number of one of those that had been stolen from the store, and was immediately identified by MT. Newman. Thus far the officers have been unable to re, coTer any more C. the rifles or rayo.v- CTS.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22

Several prominent citizens of Doug las met last evening to discuss the matter of taking active steps towards securing aid in getting the United States government to move the pres ent barracks from Fort Grant to Doug las.
 The matter was discussed at length, and petitions will be gotten out and circulated all over southeastern Ari- zona and forwarded to Delegate Mar GUS A. Smith and Colonel Wilson and have them do all in their power to move their barracks to Douglas.
 General Funston has recommended that Fort Grant be abandoned. and Douglas would make a good location for the fort.
 The people have taken hold of the matter, anl will lend all aid possible to the government in getting the sol diers to come to Douglas.
 Fort Huachuca is sixty miles from
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22

fast a spossible. The road has been badly crippled for motive power for the past month and a large amount oi freight has been tied up at Fl Paso and Deming awaiting to be transferred to the Bisbee road but could not be touched on account of no engines to haul it.
 A number of prospectors from Colo rado are arriving in Douglas by way of Deming and are making arrange ments to start for the new gold strike in a short time. All kinds of mining supplies and prospectors outfits are i1 demand and the stores here are taxed to their utmost to supply the demands made on them.
 Private advices to the Atlas Mining Bureau from their experts in Sonora say that the Yaqui river is about five feet over it's banks and fording is inn possible and a large number of pros. pectors are camped on this side wait. ing for the river to go down in order to let them cross over with safety.
 Parties returning from Nacozari on the evening train say that there is a large number of prospectors still camped at Fronteras and Turicachi waiting for the snow to melt in the Torres mountains in order to let them in and do some prospecting. The snow is melting very slow and it will be several weeks before any Americans will venture into the high country.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22
HAD PRACTICE
 IN NEW SUITS
FOOTBALL PLAYERS TRY ON THE
 NEW CLOTHES
Several Enthusiasts will Go to Nace Today to See Games There-cap
 tain Swan Says Will Play Game

Several Enthusiasts will Go to Naco
 Today to See Games There-cap-
 tain Swan Says Will Play a Game
 The football team was out yesterday for the first time in the new suits, which were purchased in Chicago. Monday afternoon the full team will be out for practice, and from then on prepared to play one of the teams in this section.
 All the boys are well pleased with the suits, which are the best that could be had. The outfit purchased for the team is complete from the shoes to the harness that fits over the head to protect the player.
 Director Hammer of the gymnasium has kindly given the boys room in which will be stored the suits and other equipment of the team The boys who are members of the gym will use the shower baths, which are considered necessary to getting in good shape
 The practice yesterday was done on the tennis court on the slag dump. Tackling, passing the ball and falling were given turns. Those out were Cap tain Swan. Baird, Romero, Nash, Kelly. Fitz and others. Twice this number will be out tomorrow after noon.
 Several of the players are planning | to go to Naco this afternoon to be present at the game between teams from Douglas and Huachuca. The boys will try to get line on the play ing of these two teams, and see how strong a game they could make against the Bisbee team.
 As yet no lineup for the team has been prepared. This will not be done until after all the boys. are out and given a chance to show what they can do on the gridiron.
 If we can get it." said Captain Swan yesterday evening, i've will have a game with the winner of to- morrow's game It will take us some little time to get in shape, and it may be too late in the season. I under stand that Douglas is hot after a game and we will be more than willing to relieve the strain on their nerves"
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22
CIGAR FACTORY FOR DOUGLAS
Eastern Parties Think it is an Excel
 lent Location
 {Cnnnia1 %a

NSpeclaI to heVleW.D
 Douglas, Feb. 2l.-The Atlas Mining Bureau is receiving letters every day asking about the conditions in Douglas and what inducements are offered for manufacturing enterprises. The bu- reau received an option from a prim- inent cigar manufacturer of Texas Friday to purchase a suitable site for a cigar factory.
 The manager of the company Mr. E. Hoag, will leave Denison, Texas, in a few days for Douglas and will look over the ground preparatory to erecting a factory for the manufacture of cigars.
 MT. Hoag is president of one of the largest tobacco concerns in Texas and made a visit to Douglas last year and was very much impressed with the To- cation and prospectors of the new city.
 In his letter to the bureau he states that he expects to put up a plant as large as any in the southwest, he will employ twenty-five cigar makers and will put in a complete box making plant His tobacco is raised in the tobacco fields of south Texas and some claim his tobacco has a better flavor than the weed which is grown in Cuba
 Mir Hoag states that he will bring a party of Texas capitalists with him who are looking for good mining in- vestments and will take hold of good properties in Arizona and Sonora and will spend considerable money to de velop them.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22

Passenger Time Table, E. p. 6 s. w. Ar. from Douglas 7:07 a m. Lv. for Naco 7:17 a. ID.
 Ar. from Benson, $50 a. m. Lv. for Fl Paso and Douglas 800 a. n. Ar. from Naco 12:3s p. ID.
 Lv. for -~aco l D. ID.
 Ar. from Fl Paso 4:42 D. m. Iv. for Benson and Douglas 4:52 p. n.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22
McCOYsS Employment Agency
Female Help Speciality
 stenoeraphy and Typewriting Main Street Opp Angius Hotel MRS. PETE MCCOY, Manager

"Procrastination is the thief of time" If you don't invest at once in Lucky Tiger gold stock, you will dis cover, in a very few days, that this same fellow is also the thief of your money. Inv est at once and get in on the ground fiool.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22
CLASSIFIED ADS

FOR RENT OR LEASE-Furnish- ed restaurant. Inquire of W. s. Read, Naco or Cananea. 2-12-t
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22
WATER NOTICE.

There is only one way for the ordi- nary mortal to make money, and that is by investment. We can suggest no quicker, better or safer investment than in Lucky Tiger" stock. Report from Mess1s. Graham & Benton say "you'n have to hurry"
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22

4 wise man is known by the fool things that he could have said but didn't. So We won't say that the seIz is the best shoe in the world" but it surely is a good one $3.O0 to s9.50, at Schwartz Bros. If
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22

FOR RENT-Oyer Central Phar- macy three rooms suitable for light business. 2-11-1
Bisbee daily review., 1903-02-22

The Bisbee Review appears in en- lsrged form and is more of credit than ever to the hustling little city that 1t calls home.-El Paso News.