The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-10
THE NONPARElL MAN

THE NONPAR MAN
Casually Observed.
There is one socialist in the Massachu-
sets legislature. Just one alone will never
dare to disrupt the foundations Of society.
If Theodore were out of the way, Uncle
Mark would slip into the White House like
a piece Of apple pie into a hungry young
ster.
] Can't take Fido on the carp asked a
lady carrying thumbnail dog in her arms
yesterday. His little pink paws can't
stand the wet pavements.'
No ma'am, you can't" replied the POI
lite conductor. firmly, even Tom Lowry's
cow with a pass, can't travel on this line
That settled it.
AS a flying machine the cheap and COM
mon turkey buzzard has the heir of the
ages, the glass Of fashion and the mold Of
form beaten to a finish. What is man.
that we are mindful of him? He cannot
fly without carving a gasbag as big as
barn! We blush for ourselves.
The Olberg, Clearwater county, Journal
keeps lines on the boys who go to see their
best girls. Not only the young fellows,
but the old fellows are watched. The Jour-
nal says:
John Riste one of the venerable good fell
lows, is of late to make regular trips north.
to inspect his hay, he claims while many of the
boys in the immediate locality think there must
be some thing further north stronger than hay TO
attract his attention. Never mind boys, John
is only following the point of the compass needle.
A man in London paid 5000 for a first
edition of Shelley last week. His name
was Wise. Perhaps!
The Los Angeles Herald says that Sec
rotary Shaw is the ablest banqueter that
ever held down a cabinet job. The secre-
tary has eaten his way into the affections
of the entire nation.
Seems if all the people who want to
fight one another ought to call 1t off and
all go over together and lick Alb. Hamid.
He has been throwing in a lot of private
massacres on the side under legal forms.
| We feel that Alb. flags superfiuous.'
| Atchison, Kan, young men have been
thrown into a panic lately by stout girl
of II years who is known as Belle the
/ k1sser. The girl who is rather good look
1 ing, is living with an uncle. She has
mania for kissing boys. She seizes them
and accomplishes her full designs despite
their screams. Arthur Horn of Northwest
Atchison complained to the police Satur-
day that he had been forcibly kissed by
| the villainess right on the face. We do
/ not know when we have read anything
that has so filled US with apprehension as
/ this story. What If the mania should
spread We intend to go into baseball
mask after dark. 80
A Panama story is that the French
| or Cd hat n
was little more abrupt than the usual
| South American affair.
! Mr. Hanna prefers the omiohnsonitis
/ to the rheumatism any day. It's more
susceptible to treatment.
/ New York state voted last week to
| spend SOL, 900, 900 for canal Improvement.
/ The voter Of to-day is able to swallow
| large figures without much trouble. He
| thinks that anything over a hundred mil
/ lion is like "a big voltage Of electricity.
He won't feel it. 90. .-
/ Facts collected by Professor E. E. Dex-
ter, of. the University of Illinois, from
sixty American colleges show that in the
last ten years out of 210,334 students
22,766 played football, and Of this number
654 were seriously injured and ia were
killed. In 1902 the seriously injured num-
pefeu ITO, ana il were Killed. III SOfHe
years one player is killed or. manned for
each day of the playing season. This
shows that only 1913 per cent of the stu
| dents play the game hence it is. not OF
| much value as an athletic exercise to sc
per cent of the students. This 80 pei
cent, however, celebrate the game by hys
terics, Generalization and sometimes, W.
weep to add, by dissipation. Hence we
fail to see the value of the sport as al
educator. Then the large percentage o.
| the killed and their relatives and friend:
can hardly be said to benefit greatly.
/ On the other hand, it must be confessed
that football is exciting and interesting
So is a dog fight. IS ..... ...-.s.-..-.
| And it doesn't cost So to- see dos
fight if one is happily located in the
vicinity Of the canine argument
] Still, football has some advantages over
a slow and lingering death by disease
Let us give it the credit that is its due.
/ One of the most interesting events in
the bird world Is the semi-annual pill
grinage Of the feathered people who spend
their winters in the south and their. sum
mers in the north. We can hardly make
| even a guess as to the thoughts in the
| birds mind when the migrating instinct
seiZes hold Of him, but his first impulse
is a social one He feels the necessity
/ for companionship on this tremendous oc-
casion SO the tendency as the cold wealth
! er comes on is to gather in f1ocks and
talk it over with much excited chirpins
and 'hollering.'' A little D1cky Robin.
after the first chill night, awakes in the
morning with a decided shiver Of his
wings and remarks to his mate:
MY goodness, I'm nearly frozen! It's
time the boys were gathering for a free
seed over. in the valley"
/ For years the robins have met in a
certain valley near Keegan's lake where
the weeds are thick. The first touch OF
I frost brings out a big gathering of birds
in this delightful spot.
! Come on, boys; all off for the SOUTH
i cav. what's your hurry? A little
| frosted worm doesn't go so bad
/ That's all right, but can see eight
inches of snow on little Billy Robins
! roost some of these mornings
/ "Oh, cats! There amt no hurry. Come
on over and seed up. Fall seeds We're
never better
| AS the fall advances more and more
birds gather. One night in come the
! Manitoba robins. full Of excitement and
/ interesting anecdote.
/ "How's them Saska tchewan fellows?''
asks a northern Wisconsin bird.
"Oh, they went down via Nebraska
last week. There was an army of them. -
4 Much to eat UP that way?"
/ Zine pecking all the summer. We are
all going back that way next spring If the
| Louisiana Italians do not eat this
4 winter
1 One night soon after the Manitoba boys
arrived the mercury got into the -30s and
all the robins awoke with holler of dis
gust.
Come on, boys; all OFF that's go
ing Off"
1 The hot-headed birds hardly stopped to
/ take a bite Of seed, so anxious were they
n to get away BY night the last robin