Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-01-21

chine shop, und hat to walk half q
mile back to find saloon. Why don't
he leaf me at der saloon when we goes
by? If vhas president, do you pellet
I allow sooch t'ings? I yhas mad yet
und maybe do some damage"
don't say nottings back, und in two
minutes Stuyver goes on:
1.-TWO months ago Teller named
Berger comes to me und says he likes
me to sign q petition dot nopody shall
tie I'D elephants to shade trees. Dot
vhas a good idea. 1t keeps der trees
from being pulled down. 1 sign my
name on q paper. und two days ago
hat to go to-a bank und pay forty dol
lar. How vhas dot for some swindleS
on an innocent man? Don't sit dere
like some bumps on log, but speak
oop hnd tell me how it vhas."
"If you can't write, den you can't
sign your name und lose money" /
says.
"Und If I vhas a jackass, ] vhas
your brudder! Four days ago ] yhas
going along der street. und see sign
of Danger in front Of a building. |
look oop, und I look down, und When |
walks around der corner mile AWAY
a street car hits me und knocks me ten
feet. Der mutorman says ! vhas drunk,
der conductor calls me fool, und all
der passengers laugh at me. Do you
pellet dot vhas right!"
"But don't yQD see dot sign Of Dan
ger2'"
"Yea, but Why don't he say, Danger
All Oafer Town und not fool me SO?
BY golly, but if dot happens some more
I shall break loose und hurt somepody.
What you pellet happened to me last
night?
"You goes to Sleep"
"No, don't. vhas in bed, und like
to 60 to sleep When Teller comes along
und knocks ON my door und says some
pody Will steal my bike if l don't take
her in. hat no bike, but look on my
front doorstep, und dere vhas a wheel.
OF course take it in und elf dot man
dollar for his honesty, but in one
hour q policeman comes und arrests
me for stealing dot wheel from sa-
loon, und vhas locked up for three
hours. Hans. vhas dot right? Was it
fashionable? Was it der way to serve
q man who don't kick when he has two
muider-in-law in der house NIT him?
By t'under, but if you say it vhas /
pellet / shall throw your shop out
doorS"'
81 like to go fishing dis fall says
ash works AWAY.
"Vhell. go on und be hanged to you"
says Stuyver as he kicks on der floor
NIT madness. Il say dis world vhas
not right und if she don't change l
Will leaf her. \ few days ago l ask
my friend Schmitfeld if he knows Of
some quiet place where can sit down
NIT my glass Of beer und pipe und not
hat some politics around to make me
tired He says he knows der QuieteSt
place in town und we shall so oop dere.
We take street car und ride three
lilies, und where you suppose he bring
he to? If he don't run AWAY, knock
bis head Of on der spot"
"Vhas it to some hospitals:' l says.
mo 1t vhas to graveyard! tell
you. Hans. sooch t'ings vhas not right.
If you play tricks like dot on man he
loses his confidence in humanity und
becomes pirate. Did l tell you What
happened to me one day last week.?
81 don't think co."
"vhell, like to rent house, und so
[ take a leetle WALK. By und by
meet a man und he says he knows Of
shust der place for me-a snug little
house NIT all conweniences und cheap
rent. took him in und brought him
some beer und den look cop dot
house Yhen reach der number find
4 man dere und says:
"vhas dis place TO rent"'
"Not exactly" he replies, but lodge
you free"
| 'yhen shall GOMEZ"
I, "yheIeyer yoa .has dead by accl.