Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-11-20
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Teacher-Where was the Declaration
of Independence signed? Tommy-At
the bottom.-Chicago Daily News.
Mrs. Kidlett-John. why do you al
ways call our boy 'coffeeT Mr.. Kid
lett-'Cause he keeps us awake nights.
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
Suggestive it an up
to-date wedding? Knocker-Yes, in
deed; they threw breakfast food in
stead Of rice.-New York Herald.
An absorbing narrative: First Phil
adelphian--How is that book? Excit-
ing? Second Philadelphian-Why, 1
sat up all day reading it!-Town Top
ics.
At the seaside Clerk-That back
piazza is pretty shaky. 1t may break
down some night. Proprietor-Must
1t be rebuilt? Clerk-Oh, no; light 1t
Uptown Topics.
At the photographers: Have I the
pleasant expression you need?" Voice
from under the cloth)-Perfectly, sir"
Then let her go quick, governor; it
hurts my face."-Life.
A New nunciator.-Guest Qn cheap
lodging house)-Say, there amt no bell
in my room. Clerk-Dat'll be all right,
mister. II youse want anything wiring
de towel. See?-Chicago News.
As defined: Say, mamma" queried
liStle Mary Eilen, whats dead let
ter?' ANY letter that is given to
your father to mail, my dear" replied
the wise mother-Chicago News.
Employer-Yes, l advertised for
strong boy. Think you will fill the
bill? Applicant-Well, l just finished
ickin' nineteen other applicants out
in de ehall.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Ruling Power.-The Peddler-I
want to see the mistress Of the house.
The Master-Do you? Then step
around to the kitchen door and ask
for the cook.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Sunday School Teacher-How many
commandments are there, Willie? VIII
lie-Ten. "And suppose you were to
break one of them?" "Then there'd
only be nine"- Philadelphia Bulletin.
Sincerity: zone O. de sad things
bout dis life," said Uncle Eden, sis
dat it's so much easier to depend on
de enmity Of yoh enemies dan ON de
friendship Of yoh friends. ds.'-Washing-
} ton Star.
Lacked experience: Mamma-Don't
let me catch you in a lie again, you
naughty boy! Johnny-I won't IL 1
can help it; but haven't had the ex-
perience that pa has had.-Boston
Transcript.
"I'm glad to see that you respect
your parents, Elmer" said the minis
: ter. 1--WE just got to do It," replied
the little fellow. why, either one of
them could lick me with one hand
Chicago News.
First Explorer-We must hurry
,, back. Second Explorer-But the
North Pole is ours If we keep on.
, First Explorer-But IL we don't get
back now, we'll be too late for the lee
. ture season.-Life.
Had won her: The chronic bachelor
finally turned to the quiet man, who
had taken no part in the discussion
E would you, SIR" he said, marry the
4 best woman in the worldY 81 did, p
= was the reply.-Judge.
8 Young Wife-What do you do when
3 your husband gets cross and wants to
scold? Wife with experience-I read
: him one or two Of the letters he used
D to write to me before we were mar
3 rled.-Baltimore American.
a Bigby-rm saving up money to &C
to Europe Higby-Indeed! How arc
you getting on? Bigby-Fine! I've al
ready got together enough for the
: tips, and as soon as l can scare uI
=. travelling expenses I'm off.-Chicagc
Daily News.
Not a Joke-Giles-Take two letter,
from money" and one is left. Miles
l. is that joke? Eyes, verify" well
l. know of fellow who took money
= from two letters" THAT'S goot
II joke" mot It; he got twelve months!'
d Spare Moments.
IS Patsy-Mom, won't yer gimme m,
candy, now? Mrs. Casey-Didn't o
& tell ye OF wouldn't give ye amy at al
n If ye didn't kape still? Patsy-Yes'm
o but Mrs. Casey-Well, the longe
t. ye kape still the sooner yen get it,
,, Philadelphia Press.
d 81 reckon you won't believe it, re
IL marked Farmer Hayrix. but that OLE
s rooster Mhnt list crowd Is more'n 2