davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
unbinsed Criticism.

what do you think ought to gel
for this painting?" asked the very
young artist.
"Well," replied the matter-of-fact
friend 81 think any judge would be
justified in giving you at least SIX
months"
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
PrcliminnrN Stcna.

Ping-What is the irst thing to do
in learning TO run an .tomobile?
Pong-The first thing is to get your
life insured and the second is to have
an obese bank roll for repairs.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
Makes Good.

Isn't Jimpson young-looking man
for his age? He's 90, and he doesn't
look a day over 40"
And sometimes, when you hear him
talk, you'd think he wasn't day
over g."
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

A modern physician says when a
man has rheumatism there are but two
things he can do; he can grin and bear
1t. or bear 1t and not grin.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

You never heard of o Wild animal
that had rheumatism Until It reached
captivity and was kept on the earth.
You never heard of horse that had
rheumatism until It was Dtod with iron
and kept off the earth You never
heard of dog that had rheumatism
until it became a household pet and
was pampered-kept OF the earth.
The heathens of Africa and the Pacific
Islands never had rheumatism, so far
rs We know, until they got to wearing
sandals or shoes. l once knew a fool
man who, whenever he got sick would
dig a trench in his garden, lie down In
II and have his wife cover him with
fresh earth as far up as his chin. He
would remain there for an hour OF
two, then get up in fine spirits. Mother
earthi The contact! II looked like the
resurrection-and 1t was. Let all the
boys so barefooted.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
Retort Courteous.
spat)1

Husband during the spaD-l
wouldn't be fool If were you.
Wife (calmly)-My dear, l can read
fly understand that if you were me you
wouldn't be fool.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

How can Uncle Sam crlticise the dill
atory tactics pursued by the Sultan
when he himself has just paid an
award Of damages 102 years old2
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
The Evil.

Mrs. Al wish my husband would
shave himself.
Mrs. Z.-Then you wish him to econ
omize?
Mrs. A.-No, it is not economy. You
see when he goes down to the barber
shop he reads all them old jokes in the
comic papers and springs them at
breakfast.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

germ has been discovered that
generates a fevered frenzy indicated
by a mad desire to haul up carpets and
scrub floors. WAC. I...
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
Denying Papa a Pleasure.

Beatrlce-So Ethel has refused t,
elope with Clarence? What is the trou
BILE?
Agnes-Oh, l really don't know Sh'
is mad with her father about some
thing, l suppose.-Puck.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
Not Even n Co,npar;sor.

La Montt-Yes, | heard them dis
charging 16-inch gun the other day.
In Moyne-You did not seem much
disturbed by the rumpus.
La Montt-No, | heard my wife dis
charging the cook before left home.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
An IcxpInnatiou.

Miles-How did De Jones get to be
such a confirmed woman hater?
Giles-Oh, he was n floorwalker in
n dry goods store for seven years.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

The average man never wishes he
We're woman, but he admits a little
envy of her when he begins to get
bald.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

There are lots of people who could
talk well If they knew what to tall
about.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

hobbies is that they always want you
TO ride with them.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
Another View of IT.

Shea well-known writer says that
in order to succeed man must be 95
per cent backbone.
He-Oh, l don't know. A good many
who have managed to arrive are 95 per
cent cheek.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
Taking 1t Out on the Family.

Mrs. Ferguson-George, what partic'
ular failing of yours did the preacher
touch on in his sermon this morn
ing?
Mr.. Ferguson-What do you ask me-
that question for?
Mrs. Ferguson-Because you have
been as cross as bear ever since you
came home from church.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

Havana has found that It pays to
keep clean
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

When a woman is good to her kin,
she is better to them than she Is to heI
husband.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

A man isn't necessarily fgureheae
just because he has good head TO-
figures
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
Custer County Republican

ID. M. AMsBERRY, EDITOR 8 rUB.rsHEB
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
Same Old Diet.

How many meals do they have at
your boarding houseW asked the bosom
friend.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
Ready Wit.

Binks "a coal dealer)-Pm getting
awfully heavy.
links ian iceman)--You don't look 1t.
/ guess you've been weighing yourself
on your own scales.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

BROKEN BOW, NEBRASKA
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

Mrs. Haytop Hiram, what is a gilt
edged investment?
Haytop-Wal, | guess as how it's a
gold brick, Mandy.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
Bnruyard Repartee.

Little Spring Chicken-How do
look?
Old Rooster-Fit to kill.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09

One" replied the boarder, sadly.
what meal Is that?"
Oatmeal"
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-07-09
Generally Does.

Silas So Zeke came back from col.
lege with NJ. ID. after his name. What
does that mean?
Cyrus-Medical doctor, of course.
Silas-II'ml / thought maybe It
meant Many Debts"
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
SENATORIAL GOSSIP.

In the month 81 January senator
Hanna attended Is dinner parties on
- successive nights. Like most 9TH
er public men who attend such func-
tons frequently rs eats very little on
these occasions and drinks with cor
responding abstemiousness.
1t is thought that a special chair
wall have TO be provided in the Uni-
ted States senate for ". b. Hepburn,
tenator-eleet from Idaho, who is a
very large man of great ayoirdupois.
Once before the senate had a mighty
chair. especially built for Dixon A.
Lewis. of Alabama. who took his seat
April p, 1914. on appointment of the
governor Of the state, was afterward
elected by the legislature and served
till his death, which occurred 0cto-
Der 25, 1s4s.
young reporter called TO inter
view Senator Quay and found him
reading. After formal greetings had
been exchanged the senator said:
do you play poker? OF course you
do once in awhile. Then you will
find this one Of the best poker sto-
ries you ever saw" handing the
newspaper man a book. The report
er out of politeness read a page.
"Ah," said the senator, 81 see you
are interested. Take the book along
and read il at your leisure. Good
evening" and the dazed young jour
nalist was out on the sidewalk before
he could recover his breath.
A scary story got around Washing
ton that Senator Quay had nearly
poisoned himself by taking some
strychnine tablets. installing them
for something else. For brief time
there was a wild rush of newspaper
men and others in search of the
Pennsylvania. who was finally
found, looking about as usual. When
he learned what the uproar was
about he said to the newspaper men:
'For once you boys are far behind
the news. Why, / swallowed those
tablets in February of last year
You're just a bit late, but I'm much
obliged for your solicitude just the
same"
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
SPARETTA OF INDIA.
At Last, Sparetta Has Conquered Wheru
Others Have Failed.

After fair trial of SPARErTA does not
prove satisfactory, we guarantee to re-
fund your money. SPARErTA is won
derful cure tor dyspepsia and all stomach
troubles, malaria, liver complaints. and
General Debility. SPARETTA has been
used for years by the surgeons III the
English Army in India, with wonderful
results and cures. SPARETTA is COM
bination of valuable drugs making the
whole a beautiful and valuable prepare
ton. For toning the general systems to
recover the normal condition ofthe or
CANS of vitality. after the long use OF
drugs or stimulants, SPARETTA is great.
AS a tonic, SPARETTA has no equal.
Among those from whom we have re.
ceived testimonials. we mention:-Robt.
L. Strange. John II Wells, p. Kashner
L. c. Heintz. J. F. Popham, r. w.
Welsh. George Gebhart, Jas. +. Strange,
John Mason, J. Stewart All of Annap
oils; Geo. II. Gates, sly Second street
N. w. Washington ID. c.; Chas. Neu
mann, IIo T street. N. w Washington
ID. c.
Trial size. 25cts. Regular size 5octs,
Manufactured by
X X. SMITH,
Ito Main street,
ms Annapolis; Md
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
SNAP SHOTS.
Fired from the Capitals Camera
One week Of August gone.

Fired from the Capitals Camera
One week of August gone.
The curse OF dIink-a headache.
Precipitation never rains, but it pores.
Every body going on Business Mems
Excursion.
Even the minstrel is not as black as
he is painted.
Some men deserve to be given lift
by the neck.
The devil has warm spot in mis-
heart tor many OF Us.
The Sultan OF Turkey must lead a
sort OF harem-scarem existence.
HsyNow is the time to buy your PINT
JARS cheap from WATSON * Co.
The larger clergyman's salary the
more rest he needs at vacation time.
New California celery and Anne
Arundel canteloupes are on the market.
There isn't anything in the world
more disagteeable than whining per-
son.
After the country p;cnics turn your
afternoon towards tue great Frederick
fair.
= No, Mary dear; we should scarcely
refer 10 the norseshoer as shodoy pei
son.
This is August, but it is more like
autumn. II il isn't fall the &c S consideIa.
BILE rainfall.
Aside from blackberry jam, the
housekeeper are not very busy over the
kitchen range.
Between the plcnics, dances and car
nival, the average amustm ent lover will
be happy this week.
In the battle of life some men are
killed, but the absconders are generally
ieported among the missing.
-"Kentucky may have her faults"
remarked the man with the Impressions
tic nose, "but VIC love her SUI.
Two things that are never much
good unless they arc full of holes are
porous plaster and Swiss cheese.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
CAPE MAY.

Ooe of the best excursions ever run
out of Annapolis will start August 18Th
at7 40 a m. New steamer Annapolis t.
Love Point, then Connect with specie
train for Rehcboth BACKGROUND trip,
81. so-also connect al Le~es, Del. win
new steamer Queen Caroline for Cape
Nav. Round "Trip, 81 IS. This day
outing is a grand opportunity TO spend 5
hours at Cape May d>return home bY
10. 20 o. m. Tickets to Love Point. 50
cents. For further information apply to
&c. Wheatly, agent. Annapolis. J2S
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
A Serious Mistake.

L. c. Dewitt & ca. is the name Of the
firm who make the genuine Witch Hazel
Salve. DeWnt's is the Witch Haze.
Salve that heals without leaving scar.
1t is a serious mistake To use any other.
DeWitt's Witch Hszsz Salse cures blind
bleeding. itching and protruding piles,
burns, bruises, eczema and ali skin dis
seases. Sold by Feldmsyer Bros. City
Drug Store. il
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
Entertainment.

Prot. J. Albert Loose will givs an en-
ter aInmenI OF lllusdA'e song AT Mary
land Avenue M. T.. Church. Monday
and Tuesda5, Augaai 10 0ni IL. s p.
m. Admission, 10 Goats. Nv
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
Good Crops.

The farmers report the crops through
out the county IN excellent condition
the wheat crop is very good. Corn Is not
So promising and the prospect for the to-
bacco crop is encouraging.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
A Lawn Fete.

A number of young ladies will give
a lawn iete in a vacant lot opposite Mr..
]. M. Muuroe's on West street Tor the
benefi, of the Odd Fellows Home al
ElIicott City, on Tuesday evening, Aug
ust A,h. al 6 o clock. All are cordially
invited. Admission. cents. Nv
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
Successful Fair.

The congregation OF St. Isabelle Cath.
ole Church al OGDEN. below DavIdsos.-
Vile gave fair On Wednesday which
was very successful. both financially and
socially. The Rev. Father Lawlus is
Rector.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
Lawn Fete

There will be lawn feie held for the
benefit of the Passport NJ. + Church,
Wednesday and Thursday. August and
oh. on the lawn of the church. There
will be flag drill given by the Sunday
school children each. I'd.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
BATES or ADvExTHsEss

,,ne square ave lines Sonparell) feet insertion
81 ose .ub-eque II insertions 50 cent?. Special
80 made with monthly, quarterly and yearly
aagerfisers
ES-l.ocai notices and political or per oaa
-, 5rnIfn icagioGs ~ cents per line BoUrgoi~ .
81 bsequent Insertions 10 cents per line.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07

after long storm is feeling OF relief
when an obstinate. pi;iless cold has been
driven away b. Aliens Lung Balsans.
Only people who have been cured OF
ihroai-ache and sore lungs by this rene
DIV can quite realize what the feeling is.
There is no opium in the Balsam; its coed
effect is radical and lasting. Take a
bottle home today. For sale by Field
never Bros. City Drug Store. I'd 4
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
Doan's
Kidney Pills
Cure every kidney i'll from
Common backache to diabetes.

Mr.. A. Z. Barnes, OF 4l3 North Main
avenue, engineer at the Scranton Electric
lighting Station, Scranton, Pa, says. 4
Injured my hack by a fall. and II affected
my kidneys. There was severe pain IN the
lolns, accompanied with irregularity OF inc
secretions. They were highly colored ana
contained sediment. / got Doan's Kidney
pills at Matthews Bros drug store, ana
they entirely relieved the pain and regu-
lated the secretions. | believe Doan's Kid
ney Pills are fully mp TO representation,
and / will reply TO any one questioning this
statement and enclosing stamps, corrobor-
ating 1t In every detail
For sale by all druggists; so cents per
box. Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. !.
M Niles ana Pitts ase gsTsnssso . '; sss
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
Annapolis, Washington & BALTIC. R. R

Connecting With Annapolis :as;.lsn aaa casa....
Trains leave for Annapolis Junction conncct-
mo a. Odenton and the Junction with trains
for baltimore and Washington, and other
points follows
Leave at. T.Ib a. m.Arrive at......0.I6 a. M.
-.-11.42 am. ......t 20 p. IN.
..... 40 p. IN. F" . ...-..G.4b p. m
cEniay Trains.
Leave AZ $50 a m. and 5.16 p. m. Arrive
nj 1923 a. m. and 100 p. N.
sv-Aii trains over this road 10 leave from
West street station.
A.. r. SCHAVER,
Traffic Manager.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
schedule of Local Trains
Baltimore & Annapolis Short Line R.R.
schedule in effect May nth. 1908
Lssys Baltimore :


@-A~@g ~t@sA~
Leave Annapolis 3. 90 and 8. 80 a. m, 6. 90
aud 80 p IN.
Leave baltimore 500 and 10 O5 a M, 40
and % p. m.
s b. BROWN, ]. WILSON BROWN,
O. r. q =. Agt. Manager
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07

. L. e. - @ IT ( a.
n..,.,hs a The Kisd You Haze Always BOu1d
''s, = &s1zZzzu
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07
BAY RIDGE TRAINS.

Leave Annapolis for Bay Ridge.
Week Days..............6.4O a. m. and .2b p. n.
sundays.......-S. 80 and 1000 a. m, 800 p m.
Leave Bay Ridge for Annapolis.
week pays........6.B7 a. m, Az and I3O p. m.
sundays.....S no, 1910 a. m, 3.SO, =. 80 p m
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1903-08-07

ms
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1903-07-08
A BOOn FOR THE PEOPLE.

Some good after ALL likely to come to the peopc Of Mass,
cusetts through the operation of the providing the licensing
ot dealers IN coal and coke Secretary Oln in whom
placed the duty Of issuing licenses has prepared form that settles
seVea much discussed points and settles right Mr. Oln has
acted on the assumption that the legislature sincere when
norzed e cities and towns the prescribe the cond
ons and terms under which the should be carried IN
within their respective borders framed the licenses
cordingly
lhese licenses state that they for such period upon
the payment OF such fees upon conditions and terms
as may be prescribed by the city government and shall
continue IN force until terminated by the authority IN
framing TINS license the secretary Of was guided no doubt b
inc aoee OF the law officers of the commonwealth so there can he
little doubt OF It's validity
ha oeing the case vitality and value will be given s,a,
WHICH ncre good reason FOR believing legislature A. tho
Dehesi OF he coal clubs sought to and render worthless
ana aoortVe The license law thus gives 70 tho ~
and towns Tree and unrestricted local option the matter ~, ~
ang the coal and coke business the function Of tho STAT, -
issue licenses but II is the right of the cities and towns 3,
the terms under which these licenses shall become effective
to comply with these terms and will work f,r, -
the license and the delinquent dealer will forced o ~ b
With such an effective weapon their command j. oroh, .,
be easy for Bay State municipalities to make innob h
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1903-07-08
COLLAPSE OF THE COTTON CORNER.

The bull clique in the learning other
manpuaors of learned earlier by costly experience
that is that is generally futile and often nous attempt
ride natures productive and by artificial
price OF staple exobiant cotton
boom nature has mghter
manipulation of the market for purely purposes
reacned Its highest point during the latter
check which it is hoped will be both effective permanent
Weather conditions have trustworthy
reports indicate large These things bulls
cannot successfully contend against however many
OF dollars have been placed their disposal carry
selling September options only helped bring
slump in prices but also be safely that
the corner is broken and crumbng The whole
the nature OF conspiracy to force prices and
eous profits from commodity that necessity people
to one OF the countr largest and important
80 tar as the break prices concerned there will be
ing among manufacturers goods
gamblers who attempted hold the supply it
may be said they will receive sympathy great
may be- Men who gamble staples and
necessities are moral outlaws though
Dy which they be chased for their mscevous operations
Were our social somewhat than il
Is the gambler in cotton and the gambler stocks
different treatment from that accorded the
money the faro table the the damage
done society as whole by gamblers stocks other
necessities vastly than that which opera
tons the socaed professional the
turning OF card or the placing of tiny ball.
1t is exceedingly unfortunate that the law
cuon against organized raids for the purpose
bant point prices OF articles that life
INDUSTRY The only safeguard which people
that found the operation of case of cotton
nature as already stated has been potential gamblers
and yesterdays drop nearly dollars likely to mark
the end of the audacious outrageous bull anpuaon
based false and the
ton of the crop
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1903-07-08
BRITISH VETERANS IN LINE.
Providence, July :. 1913.

Editor Providence News.
For the hrst time since It's naururs
ton some OF the members OF the Rrt,,b
Veteran association participated N the
grand parade held in this -ity on the
morning Of the Fourth OF July. and ~ ,s
not eNaggerating when I say that their
early discipline was fully man,festei and
their soldierly and warlike bearing evok
ed plandits and enconiums from 4 major
ity OF the spectators
When passing by the city hall whore
Governor Garvtn and his stan. also the
mayor aud other city officials were as
sembled 10 review the line the veterans
all raised their left hand simultaneously
this beng the form of salute due Officials
In British regiments OF infantry.
CONSPICUOUS among the members was
Captain Dawson who wore three war
medals on his manly breast as evidence
OF gallantry in action Many also wore
the South African medal
" e 70 he regretted that the unavoId-
able absence OF many of its members
from Is ranks was due - their taknE
part with other societies of which thev
are honorary members. nevertheless their
LOYALTY was shown AZ the several hating
places along the route Of ms~r
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1903-07-08
A SMILE OR TWO

she-They say the eyes are the Windows
of the soul I believe
He-Nes, and when a man goes into q
drug store and shuts q window quickly
the clerk knows Just about what the Nor
soul wants-Yale Record.
Jane-l blush sometimes 10 think my
great-gran andfather was \ plain old rio.
neer
Juhn-Well. tho score 10 even: n ne was
here he would no doubt be ashamed OF
you.-Dctroit Ere. Press
In art or In warfare
He didn't excel.
But he minded his business
And I'D very we'll
Washington star
him. '''
Why he can put In two weeka hshins
ana when he comes back rsfraIns sbso.
lutely from telling about the nsh tina,
Got away '-Chicsgo. Poet
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1903-07-08

BY formally denying that it intends present agains
Cuba the German foreign office shows seeking trouble
this hemisphere present