Fergus County argus. [volume] (Lewistown, Mont.) 1886-1946, 1903-10-21

known to exist would be loike a high
ball minus tn whiskey, an a walkin'
diligit without a STRIKE hoverin'
aroun' in immediate proximity is
rickoned among tn failures of exist
ence. To tn walkin' diligit the str
rike is tn cloud by day an tn pillar
Nv fire by noight, which liver leads
him IN to tn promised land of Off
cial Importance an financial sue
ciss. Without it to guide an sustain
him he would git lost in tn midst iv
tn Rid sea Nv uselissness an be over
r-whelmed be tn water.rs of discon-
tint an starvation. Although tn
Holy Writ does not say SO it is me
pr-rivate opinion that Cain was tn
first walkin' diligit known to histhor-
ry, as he WIS tn first nan who star
rted a STRIKE. If he does not have
tn distinction he should be immedia-
tely ilivated to tn ascindint position
Nv PATRON saint Nv tn or-rder Nv walk
in diligits. But since his tonne all has
not been cocktails an oyster-rs OF tn
half shell with tn or-rder Nv which he
was tn honorable originator. TIL
histhor-ry Nv tn past is blotted with
many an ignominious failure Nv well
intintioned walkin' diligits. TIL ipi.
taphs iv each of these poor-r unfor-
tunates should be: He str-rove to
make a STRIKE an failin', died be-
cause he was starved an hear-rt
br-roken.' Think iv our-r own illustr-
rious Bailey. FIR YEARS. he had been
an untr-ried, but tr-rue mimber-r Nv tn
unyon. He was devoted, in tn tr-
ruest sinse to tn GLORIOUS pr-rinci-
pals iy unyonism and FRATERNITY.
So filled was he with tn SPIRIT Nv
unyonism iv tn club house an Dr.
rewer-ry brand, tn germ iv indus
try could find no place fr lodgmint
in his loyal anatomy. He behaved
most FIRMLY in rrecipr-rocity as tn
cardinal principal Nv tn or-rder. II
a br-rother mimber-r gave him tn pr
rice iv a meal ticket OF a drink he
would Invariably r~-reciprocate by ac-
ceptin' il. His generous unyon soul
would not permit him to do other-r-
wise. On such a test he niver-r failed
once. But though Caesar was not am
bilious, Bailey was. His great soul
year.rned for-r mor-re than gr-ratitu-
GUS kT-IuDSldhtS anu lIItC ullihhos
His THIRST for-r beer-r was tn only
thing that exceeded his THIRST for-r
power-r, an lots iv 1t. lnfinitismally
eastern is it, Dennissy to exter-rmi-
nate tn Russian thistles iv Nebr-ras-
ka. tn chinch bugs Nv Kansas or tn
grasshopper-rs Nv Montana thin to
hold down tn ~ristliss aspirin's Nv such
a soul. Therefore,, II naturally
fell to him TO be the first really gr-
reat walkin' diligit iv Lewistown. But
TRUE greatness, Dennissy, Is niver-
r unduly elated over-r deserved Of
fetal recognition an Bailey was still
able to take a schooner fr-rom tn
top iy a barr without standin' side
wise or usin' a for-rked stick. But
Bailey soon discovered that a thor
rn was cancelled in tn rose iv his pr
refer-rmint. To hold his job he must
have a STRIKE. Me kingdom FIR a
STRIKE says he. We must STRIKE
orr I'm r.ruined,' he shouted. But
Caesar had his Br-rutus, Charles his
Cromwell, George tn third his
Washington, an Bailey his unyon that
r~.rafoosed to STRIKE. Let YOUR
pr-rophetic vision rist upon tn terri
BILE scane Dennissy. A mighty man
was about to be over-rthr-rown be
cause Nv tn stubbor-rnness Nv his un.
yon. Selishness is sometimes foun'
in tn best iv Orders, an tn labor
rer-rs Nv Lewistown would rather carr
their Twins be common work. thin
obey tn command iv their-r beloved
LEADER. They wouldn't STRIKE for-I
their.r country orr their-r fires
their-r homes orr theirr sir-res, oil
( even for-r Bailey and tn light Nv q
gr.reat soul was extinguished be tn
} er-rver-rseness iv these common la
bor-rer.rs and Bailey r-resigned after-l
bein' first fired be tn unyon. His
/, administration was a failure bacause
he couldn't START a STRIKE. Thin
came tn godlike Lynch. He had liver
nv riquisite FIR an iligint walkin' dili
git. His soul ~r-revolted at either
: common orr labor.r. His
, purpose ito work. his gr-raft) was
:, innixable. His THIRST was aquil Il
tn r-requir-remints. his ignor-rane'
could not be questioned, an what llse
was needed? You must STRIKE,