davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13
QUEER HABITS OF OYSTERS.
fhey Cannot Live Unless Reclining
on the Left Side.

they Cannot Live Unless Reclining
on the Left Side.
"Why does an oyster sleep and live
On it's left sideY' asked a man of New
Orleans Times-Democrat writer. "Well,
suppose we will have to put the Ques-
ton to nature, and nature has her own
way of answering questions. l have
been fooling around in the oyster wa
tiers of Louisiana and Mississippi a
good many years, and am in po-
sition to say that the oyster always re-
mains on it's left side. By this l mean
that this Is the natural position Of the
oyster. I may remark paranthetically
that this is one of the difficulties oys-
ter culturists have to deal with, for in
rebedding oysters and punching them
an oyster is occasionally thrown upon
his right side and wedged so that he
can't turn over. He simply dwindles
away and dies by degrees. Put upon
his right side and forced to remain
upon his right side, the oyster cannot
live.
"Of course there is an explanation
Of this popularity. The right-hand
part Of the oyster shell is the top and
movable part. If the oyster is put in
it's natural position is, on it's left
side-it requires only small amount
Of physical energy to open and raise
the right-hand section Of the shell
when the oyster wants to feed. Re
verse the position and put the oyster
on the right-hand side, and we find
an extremely difficult problem, from
the oysters standpoint. In order to
open the shell for feeding processes 1t
is necessary for the oyster to raise not
only the weight Of the left-hand section
of the shell, but its own weight.
1--WE can readily understand the diff
Guilty and even the impossibility Of this
task If we know anything at all about
the architecture of the oyster she'll and
the nature and constitution Of the oys-
ter. So If we reverse the natural posi-
ton of the oyster, put him on his right
side and wedge him in so he can't turn
over, we simply smother and starve
him to death. OF course l am just
theorizing about this thing. There may
be some other explanation of the left
handed life Of the oyster, but from my
experience I am inclined to think the
explanation given a reasonable one."
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

The ethics of the divorce question,
which seems to be the absorbing topic
In the pulpit. on the rostum and at
the club discussions, are not little
complicated by the failure Of the
judges to get together and agree on
a basis. of separation of unhappy
couples. Take two typical cases as re-
ported recently in Chicago. A man,
weight 1876, received decree OF d.
vorce from his wife, weight 125, be-
cause, forsooth, the lady broke an UNI
brella over his head and threw crock
cry at him. On the other hand, SIM
1larly unhappy man, weight 122, could
not obtain the decree against his wife,
weight 40, although she punched his
head, threw his clothes out of the
window, threw him after the clothes,
sold the furniture and left for Cali
fornia." Here we have a beWildering
conflict of judicial opinion as to what
constitutes proper ground for divorce.
Evidently the question Of weight does
sideration Of masculine grievances, for
while q man might be regarded able
to hold his own in a conflict with a
woman sixty pounds lighter than him
self, he would by the same token be
handicapped in a tussle with a wife
twenty pounds heavier. Physical in
ferlority, which is often the
cause Of mental suffering as
we'll as bodily anguish. should be a
strong factor in all divorce cases, and
here at least is point on which all
judges can easily agree. The law Is
| for the protection of all weak and In
| firm masculinity which cannot pro-
| tect itself.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13
A Study in REPRESENTATION.

Have you started on that Job of
work:'
mo, suh,' answered Mr.. Erastus
Pinkley. Il specks / might as well
put it off till mex week"
why, this is only Monday"
Il knows 1t; but de mawnin's half
gone, an den it's only a few days
till Friday, an OATS bad luck, an 1
dasn't work on Sunday, so 1 reckons
[ better wait till ! kin git a clean
start. "-Washington Star.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

Germany has decided not to hurry SO
fast In building her navy, and will
allow her construction program to take
its regular course, trusting by 1920
to have ffty-five battleships. This is
a pointer for peace. since 1t shows
that Germany regards the natural pro-
gress OF the fleet as sufficient to an
swer all calls likely to be made on 1t
within the next seventeen years. As
1t his been the general assumption
that the United States and Germany
have been racing in battleship con-
struction. perhaps we can afford to
slaSken our pace and let building catch
up with the planning. Considering
that at least one battleship launched
more than two years ago is not yet
ready for commission it would seem
that our plans are considerably ahead
of our performance.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13
No Need to Rise.

In one of Glasgow's finely laiu
cemeteries a rich citizen, VINO
notorious as a skeptic, had ere'.'
massive mausoleum on what ne 'e'
"his ancestral plot" -.
One day he met a worthy eiOs
the kirk coming away from 'ne y,
ity Of the imposing mass OF ina'0
so he said to him: =,
"Weel. Dauvit, we've been up q
that gran erection O mlne'
Deed, hiv' 1, sir?"
"Gey strong place that, ISM 1t.
TAX q man a. his time tae rIse "
yon at the day O. judgment =,
"Hoots, ma. mon," said l'a'IO'
can gle yersel little fash aDoo -, !
gin that day comes. They'll 'aA
bottom cot OF taos let ye Ia 000-
London Spare Moments.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

Miss Stewart is rated one OF Ohl
prettiest girls, and was a society De
before she thought of studying LAY"
her butterfly days she satisfied her
ergetic disposition by engaging Ill
biological work. On one occasion tn'
was a big banquet for newsboys' "
Stewart was on hand, and decided !!
some OF the boys might like app
So, like Lady Bountiful, she W
among them with an apronful OF ~
checked pippins. "Who wants d i
red apple2' she asked, in her nloS'
very tones. 1t took several pollcen'
and some Of the older boys 10 ICY
her from the scrambling hoO
newsies. The experience was dlscI
aging, but she stuck to her "oiA
some time afterward.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

cago. There are
scores OF m e n
whose names are
familiar to the
general public and
who pose as lead
ers In commerce
and finance who
are pigmies COM
pared with him.
His great business
in Chicago is but
a small part of the
Fie1d fortune.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

A postal card sent from Blu, =.
one of the absent brethren reau',
"Dear Jim-Nuthin' but so'u e.
to tell you. Your crap pala V -,
mortgage, your brother prone e+ 81
iail, an your daddy has jest GOV w., ~
ont Of the railroad fer runnln o ~
leg. Amt Providence prov 'O
lanta Constitution.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

The delegates to the women's con-
gress at Hamburg agreed that the
practice of wearing corsets and jew
slry Is barbarous. However, we have
all heard of that barbaric splendor
which sometimes charms the most deli
cate and refined, and 1t seems reason
ably certain that the average woman
would rather be called barbarous than
a TRUMP
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13
A Mntter of Some Doubt.

And what are we to have for din
ner, my dear?' said the bridegroom at
the beginning of the honeymoon.
wait and see how it turns out, my
love-" replied the bride whose educa.
ton had finished at cooking school,.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13
Butter in Siberia.

Last years Siberia's butter produc-
ton amounted to over 100000, 600
pounds. Siberian butter is now being
sold in the London market. There ara
now over $500 buttermaking diaries
in Siberia.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

Louis proper, dur
ing the period Of
the Worlds Fair,
are greater in
number, and In
many instances in
Importance, than
those that have
ever been held at
any other univer-
sal exposition, in
Guiding the con-
crosses that have
llnan INV
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13
The Pigeons Marvellous Flight.

The pigeons capacity for fight Ia
marvellous. Many have flown from
Nantes to Lancashire, 440 miles, in a
day. and the winner of race from
the Shetlands to London, over 600
miles, made the journey in sixteen
hours, at an average speed of thirty
seven miles an hour.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

had already mt
her mark at
Ohio bar.
Lord N1anSit
Lord Chief }.
tice Of Engla.
was her gre
grandfather,
she comes to
legal talent az
naturally. She ]
decided to und
take netrOpOlH
practice.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13
TO CORRESPONDENTS

All eonnmaaications for this paper should be accom-
panied by tho of the sator; not necessarily fol
publication but evidence OF good faith on the par
Of the writer. Write only side of the payer BE
particularly careful In giving and dates to have
the letters and figures plain and distinct.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

A tight shoe annoyed a Pennsyl-
lose a leg The corn of the rich man
is fully as fierce as that of the down
trodden toiler.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

With Mussulmans and Christians
slaughtering each other and Christians
killing Hebrews by the score, 1t Is evil
dent that religion has great deal to
learn from peace.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

Professor Langley says he is not dis
couraged. Why should he be as long
as he can get the government to fur
nish the money and somebody else to
ride the machine?
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

canoe Their decision is that wc-
mans clothes buoy her up until they
are wet, and then they weigh her
down. Many people knew this before,
but there is nothing like experiment
to fix the truth.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

"You don't mean to say that you
would give man money for his infiu-
ence"
mot If I could help It." answered
Senator Sorghum. "Of course it would
be cheaper to give him position. But
the trouble is there aren't enough Of
Aces to go round Washington Post
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

A San Francisco man claims to
have lost 100000 on "tip" from J.
?. Morgan. Can it be possible that
there is general conspiracy to rob
the old man Of all his prestige?
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

A new counterfeit $40 bill is in cir
culation, with the seal and lettering
pink instead Of carmine. Don't take
any pink money.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13
Banks in Germann

The aggregate capital of 100 German
banking institutions is, according to
the German Economist, 1854 $50, 900.
More than half Of this capital is locat-
ID In Berlin.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

The University of Michigan has put
on course in journalism just to show
that newspaper man can be develop
ed outside of a newspaper office. They
can raise potatoes in dollhouse, too,
but don't, usually.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

In order to test how far a woman
who falls into the water is hindered
from swimming by her skirts. two
German women, both expert SWIM
mers, made an experiment In drown
Ing. In full evening dress, hats, gloves
and nantes. they jumped into the
wafer. Witnesses followed them in
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

A Charleston, S. c., paper published
an editorial the other day deploring
the fact that few people move into
that State from other parts Of the
country, and sadly asserting that no
immigrants go there to settle. 1t
wondered why. The verdict in the
Tillman case Is pretty good answer.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

d. B. Hill has studied Platts case
and thinks he knows Of one New
York statesman to whom such things
can never happen.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

Congress may be able to extend
little more financial aid to Prof. Lang
ley by including his appropriation in
the river and harbor bill.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13
DIRECTOR OF CONGRESSES.

There Will Be ESQ Over Which How
ard J. Rogers Will Preside.
teTnati0nal and national conventions to
be held at the Worlds Fair, or in st.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

If there is anything you haven't been
cured of. somebody guesses that per-
haps radium will do it. incidentally
radium costs a million dollars hunk.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

When are some Of our people going
to ride 125 miles an hour on an electric
railroad? Can't let the Germans out
ride us.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

After following the races ,,nd
while a man gets so far Oen'n'
he is seldom able to eaten w.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

Here are three modish coiffures, two
for evening and one for street. That
on the lower head displays new and
artistic arrangement of hair called the
Marie Antoinette puffs. 1t Is particu-
larly adapted to petite women with
oval faces.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

After considering some recent mar
rage notices the Hon. David 3. Hill
is more than ever of the opinion that
there is no bachelor like an old bach
elor.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

For the new Philippine currency a
mark has been devised to correspond
with our dollar-sign. consisting Of the
letter p with two parallel lines drawn
across the lobe, or its upper half. Since
this design was formally prescribed by
Governor Taft, there need be no Ques-
ton in future years concerning its
origin or meaning, as with our dollar
sign. Arbitrary marks usually spring
into being almost unnoticed, but they
can be manufactured to order.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

A girl never thinks a young mans
heart Is In the right place unless she
possesses 1t.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

WOunds.-Three useful things
have in the home as a provision
case of wounds not sufficiently So,
GUS to necessitate the calling in of
medical attendant, are a spool of q
hesiye plaster, some iodoform gau,
and a package of carbolated absor
ent cotton. Cleanse and dry the o.
surface as well as possible with a Wa
of the cotton, using moderate pressl,
and elevating the part If necessary
check the flow Of blood Do not n
ply any water. Bring the cut sll
faces together and retain them tbej
with as few and as narrow strips
the plaster as will suffice, cutting the
in good length. Then cover the Woud
with dozen or so thicknesses of II
1odoform gauZe which should exten
an inch at least beyond the wounl
Over the gauze apply a liberal layl
of the absorbent cotton, allowing it |
extend beyond the gauze. The cotto
may be kept in place by a bandage
cheese-cloth or when suitable a nd
Of the leg of stocking may be draw
over it. Moderate pressure if even
distributed is helpful. The pressuI
of a string is hurtful. Keep the pa
moderately elevated and take care I'D
there is no construction Of the Ind
above the wound by garter or otha
wise.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

Calloused Feet.-Never pare the cal
loused skin on tender feet excent M
der absolutely necessary conditions ND
cause frequent pairing makes il for1
faster. Such spots represent an effor
of nature to overcome the danqero,1
effect Of long continued pressrrI
Those who stand for many hours doi,,
are prone to this condition. WheI
the calloused spot needs removal a1
ply the following to the thickenal
parts for five nights: Salicylic scil
~ drains, sulphuric ether two draml
tincture Of indian hemp two drama
flexible collodion fifteen drains, mil
On the sixth night soak the feet /
hot water and the callous will COM
off. Avoid pressure and it is not lik
ly to return.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

Nothing surprises the To N, ma
marries a man to reform D
snecess Of her efforts. -
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13
pr,,ieh Postal Deficit

The deficit on account Vi oo cl for
postal telegraph is S4'oo0'0'
wear.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

A New Jersey board OF education
has recently decided that boy may
go to school without any shoes on If
he desires. The school trustees In
many a small district would be more
astounded at having any one doubt
the right Of boy to go barefoot than
was the board in the New Jersey city
at the request that this youngster
might not be compelled to wear shoes.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

It takes man with a pull to be one
Of the push
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13
A MONARCH OF TRADE.
Began Life a Clerk and Ia Now Worth
$500, OOO,o 600.

The greatest merchant prince in the
United States, the greatest perhaps in
the world, is Marshall Field, Of Chi
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

It is easier to whip some men than
it is to keep them whipped.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

Bulgaria is anxious to do her duty,
but Is handicapped by the necessity
Of having first to do Turkey.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-11-13

FAIR OHIO BARRlSTER.
Descendant of Famous British Judi
Now Practices Law.

"On motion" Miss Gabrielle Tow
send Stewart, Cleveland, O., has Id
admitted to the New York bar. y
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-11-07
interest.

Opposition hss already developed ID
the plan suggested for testing the val
idity Of the proposed 5000. 600 bonds u
be issued by Psducah for improve
ments, BY filing suit in the courts.
A great many claim that there is NO
necessity for it, and that it is not the
custom of cities to 60 to this trouble,
and shoald not be. done in Psducah I'M
less for any reason the bonds cannot be
fioated. Then would be time enough
to 60 to the courts with it. II il
should ever be necessary to test the
of the bonds let the other fell
low do II. Il IL understood the board
Of aldermen will act adversely on the
proposition.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-11-07
GOOD WAY TO DO BUSINESS.
LANG BROS. SELLS RELIABLE
REMEDY AT HALF PRICE,
AND GUARANTEES A
CURE.

When one can buy gold dollars for
fifty cents, it is a good time to pur-
chase.
In Offering so cent. bottles OF DR..
Towards celebrated specific for the
cure of constipation and dyspepsia
at 25 cents, Lang Bros. are giving one
of the grestest trade chances ever
offered to the people Of Paducah.
Even though offered at half price for
Introductory purposes, the specific is
sold under n guarantee to cure or the
money will be refunded.
II food does not digest well, if there
is gas or pain in the stomach, II the
tongue is coated and the breath bad, If
there is constipation and straining,
DIR Howard s specific will cure you.
IL it does not. you have druggist Lang
Bros. personal guarantee to return
your money.
lElr icuiuhhuOtt iNmtNN Nt"No az
the form of tiny granules, and car be
carried in the vest pocket or purse
1t is very popular in New York City.
and it is not unusual TO see someone
after a meal at one Of the large hotels
or restaurants, take dose of this
specific, knowing that il will prevent
the uncomfortable feeling which
frequently follows hearty meal.
DR.. Towards specific gives quick
relief and makes permanent cures Of
constipation, dyspepsia, and eli live'
troubles.
These are strong statements, but
Lang Bros. are giving their customers
chance to prove their truth at just
half the regular price-sirty doses for
25 cents. If they are not found true,
all you have to do 10 ask for your
money.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-11-07
DECEMBER 9TH
Is THE DATE SET FOR HEARING
THE LOESER BANKRUPTCY
CASE.


The Julius Loeser involuntary bank
ruptcy case, has been set for hearing
on the 7th day OF December. The At
torneys for the creditors have been
working hard to got up data, but
found that they could not complete
their work in the specified time and
asked Judge Evans to extend the time
of hearing to Dec. eth. which he did.
IL is understood that the attorneys
will bring in some rather startling
testimony to disprove the robbery
story Of Loeser, but this is only mere
rumor. Loeser, il will be remember
ed, sold out his business here and
went TO st. Louis with the money to
pay Off debts but claims be was
drugged at Carbondale, Ill and
robbed of about $4,000.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-11-07

which failure according to the federal
court, there was no legal justification.
Il does seem that the city ought now,
since a proposition to compromise has
been made, get rid Of the suit and
probably save money. II the bond
men, who went to considerable ex-
pense to refund the bonds and had
contracted to sell them to customers at
q good profit, are not entitled to any
damages, the city should not pay
them any. But if there is any proba
bility of their being able to get the
sf0, 900 they sue for, the city should
pay the $4,000 and save money. The
case has been dragging through the
courts for several years and seems &c
be no nearer a settlement now than
ever, unless a compromise is agreed
ON.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-11-07

While the election is over, pointers
for future contests are always in
order. Ii has just been discovered by
the Boaz correspondent of the Metrop-
oils Journal. Republican what sort of
men to elect for the schools. Says the
paper: Considerable complaint is
being made about the itch in the
school and the only way we see how
this diftculty is going to be obviated
is to elect man like Mr.. Marlman,
full of energy and ready at any time
to show his interests. Now, a man
who would "show his interest" when
the itch breaks out in school ought to
make good officer. Most any man,
one with the itch itself,
would be "full of energy" but what
we need is men who will show their
interest.