The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1903-01-22
SECRET OF BEING CHARMING.
ThOughtfuIneN and Kindness Are
Qualities Which Are Bound
to Win Friends.

What is the secret of being
charming?" girl asked recently. 1t
is not easy to define charm, nor is it
easy to give directions for acquiring
such quality. 1t may be a gift, Ike
beasty. 1t may be in a sunny tenn
permanent, a sweet and cheerful dis
position. 1t is certain that it NAV
be cultivated in true politeness,
wish to please, an absence of selfish
bass, freedom from seIf-conscious-
ness, an unwillingness to hurt an
other person by word or action.
If you are in search of this quail
1ty OF charm, you are already on the
road toward finding it. At the start
you must realize that it must not be
sought for your own qualification or
by way OF winning power, or you
will soon discover that it will prove
delusive.
If you would be charming you must
take the trouble to be thoughtful of
others, says Priscilla Wakefield. in
the DelineatOr. You will be consid-
crate of older persons, greet them as
cordially as friends of your own age,
take the time to talk to them. listen
when they are talking. You will not
be so absorbed in your own interests
that you cannot enter into the in
terests of others.
You will look people in the face
when you are talking, and give YOUR
attention to what they are saving.
You will not interrupt others or con-
tradict them or show Impotence for
your chance to talk, and will not try
to monopolize the conversation. You
Will not be effusively gracious to
some one because you wish to gain
an invitation or something of the
sort, while you are coldly Indifferent
to another who may not be of SO
much importance to the world. or
among your set of friends. Sincerity
is one of the essential parts of
charm. A lack of it is quickly de-
tected.
Perhaps I can show you how charm
can be gained by pointing out other
things to be avoided. You would not
call a girl charming who is loud in
talk, or aggressive in manner, who dis
cusses people or private affairs in a
loud voice in public who pushes rudelv
past others, who seems to fancy that
by asserting her own independence she
is maintaining her rightful place in the
world.
Contrast her with the girl with gem
tie, sweet manners and voice. who
talks quietly, who offers graceful little
kindnesses, who sacrifices her own
comfort and ease rather than incon-
venience any one.
A girl may not be beauty, or
brilliant talker, or wonderfully clever,
yet she may be so charming that it is
delight to be with her and to count
her among our friends She is VIM
some, sweet-tempered full of tactfuI,
considerate ways genuinely kind and
sympathetic and she has that whole
some sense of humor which helps to
smooth away so many of the rough
places of life. 1t is well to love whole
some fun and laughter and to cultivate
the power of seeing the humorous side.
One thing to avoid, if you would be
charming, is the tendency to talk
about grievances. A girl who fancies
herself martyr, and who claims that
no one understands her or her moods,
is not on the road toward the posses
sion of charm. A girl who is morbid,
self-centered, egOtistical, cannot be
charming, and she needs to make every
effort to overcome these characteris-
tics, or she will become tiresome to
her friends and the prey of discontent-
ment.
Try to live in the Sunshine of cheer
fulness and the breeze of larger inter-
ests,' if you would be charming. Say
pleasant things. Praise others when
you can do so with sincerity Praise is
an encouragement. Be courteous. real
ly polite. When l tell you to cultivate
charity, | mean that kindly disposition
which looks for and believes in the best
in others. which is generous in pardon
ing mistakes which defends the absent
and does not repeat idle gossip.