Arizona republican., 1903-08-15
SENATOR CHANDELIERS JOKE.
How He Tried to Get Others to Rebule
Matthew Arnold.

/ secretary of the navy, is reported to be
seriously i'll al his home. Chandler was
not regarded by his associates in the
! upper house as a remarka BILE eloquent
speaker. but has always been famous
| Tor his sarcasm ana his wit. H is also
an incorrigible joker. his greatest
practical joke was played upon Matt
hew Arnold during the distinguished
! litterateurs lecture tour in this coun-
try in the winter of 1SS3-S4.- When Ar
nCld lectured in Washington John G..
Carlisle. at that time speaker of the
| house, was announced TO introduce Mr..
Arnold, but as he was indisposed this
duty devClved upon Secretary Chandler.
The audience that gathered in the
auditorium of the First Congregational
Church was representative of the best
of W2shingtons social and official life.
At the appointed hour Secretary
Chandler led little procession, consist
| ing of Mir. Arnold, DIR. Edward Everett
Hale, Representative William Walter
Phelps and DR.. George 3. LorinG. to the
platform. AS was char2 cteristic Mr.
! Chandler was the only enc not in con-
VentiCnal evening dress. He performed
/ the duty of introduction in the briefest
possible manner, referring to Mr.. Ar
mold as a distinguished lecturer" 1t
was remarked by many in the audience
| that there was contemptuOus ring i'll
| his voice. The lecture over, the audi
| ence prepared to leave the church, but
t the sharp voice of Secretary Chandler
restrained them. To the Amusement of
ALL he said that the distinguished lee
turer' doubtless was aware that it was
! the custom in America to discuss lee
lures On the spot, and that therefore
| he would net be surprised to hear from
| the other side of the question. He had
| with skill and acumen maintained the
claims of literature to a superior place
/ in education, and he would, 70 doubt
/ be glad 10 listen to the arguments that
! might ne made by the advocates of Civ
4 ing science the superior place in edu-
: cation.
! If the roof of the meeting house had
suddenly disappeared into space the
/ audience could not have been moro
amazed. and the distinguished lectur-
err himself lost for the once the bored
J expression that habitually masked his
! features. He looked perplexed and ner-
! vous. and GaZed vacantly at the nlaste,
| of ceremonies 4 do not see any dis
| tinguished scientists in the audience. 5"
! continued Mr.. Chandler, nonchalantly
| so that We shall have to depend for
most Of our comment upon those who
are on the platform, and l shall first
! call upon one who is eminent in the
! science of theology, DR.. Edward Ever
EFT Hale OF Boston" It is character
! 1stic of DR.. Hale that he never-to put
it in common parlance-gets ratified"
and he saw at once that the secretary
! CT the navy was bent upon having some
fun with the man who had been speak
| ing rather superciliously of America s
! pretensions to literature and culture
/ he resented, as much as did Mr.. Chand-
| Ter, many CT the Englishman's sneering
illusions, but was too much of Z gen.
! tie man to retaliate. He simply said
! in response tc the secretary's invita- ton:
Ladies' and gentlemen: There has been
so much said, and, on the whole, Sc well
said, that I shall not further occupy
! the time.
The audience applauded DR.. Hale's
apt quotation from his own story. My
Double and How He Undid Me-" and
| once more prepared to leave. Secretary
| Chandler. however, called upon George
| b. Lorin2, at that tim commissioner Of
! agriculture. DR.. Loring was vfsibly en-
barrassed. He turned as red as one
of his prize beets, and stammered like
a bashfuI schoolboy. Il think the best
way of showing my appreciation of the
/ lecture is to shake Mr.. Arnclds hand, -
| he said, and he walked over to where
! the lecturer sat.
As the platform was narrow, DR..
Lcring stumbled over Secretary Chand-
ler's Out-stretched legs and just saved
! himself from spr2wlinS at Mr.. Arnold s
! feet. Under the circumstances the
; hapdshakc was not a particularly dig
nified spectacle. But the secretary OF
! the navy was not to be baked. He
bobbed up again and called upon Will
lam Waiter Phelps referring to him
as the scientist in politics. Mr.. Phelps
! WAS probably the angricst man that
ever attempted to dissemble. his feel
| irss. He thanked Mr.. ArnolI in 4 few
| well chosen words. shot a contemptu-
Gus glance at Chandler, and sat stiffiy
down. Phclps's indignant attitude only
whetted Chambers desire to hear
ridicule on Mr.. Arnod's inoffensive
head. Il see, he said, the venerable
! features of friedrich Douglas in the
! audience, and I am sure you would like
to hear his comment on the lecture, and
at the close l would be pleased if he
would move q vote of thanks to the dis
tinguished lecturer.
MS was III the WOISl pOSSlDI@ taste
| There We're Il number of prominen
Southerners in the audience. and many
OF them left the church. Douglass was
placed in most painful position, but
as many OF his friends began to call il
low tones for Douglass. Douglass!' he
said: Il did not expect or uesire to say
anything. but | am hCnured al this op-
: rortunity to express my appreciation
ard. in accordance with the suggestion
made to me. l move vote of thank;
to MIR. Arnold" Secretary Chandlel
rose to put the question, Those in ia
: vor will please rise but it WAS unnec
essary, because the audience rose Il:
} on person and left the auditorium witt
! 2 sigh of relief The only explanation
that Chandler ever made CT this extra
ordinary performance was that h'
wanted to have some fun with thu
ccnceited Cockney." What Nj. ArnoiC
, thought Of it has never been recorded
: Rochester Post Express.
ixty years of cures have taught /
: 1ubot hyerfc Cherry PectOra! Z