Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-06-08

what did these here scaIawags do but 1 swap them phaeton wheels of ] Hanks's-put the behind ones on I for'ard, and the for'ard ones on be- hind-positive fact, that's just what these. here unknown, lowminded fel- lers done, Must a-made a powerful funny looking ve-hicl1-el of it if any body could a-seen it, which they couldn't on account of the dark; must a-looked good deal like buff f6rlo, high in front, low behind.
 Well, the dance went on till mebby three o'clock or someyhere there and 1 then it began to break up, we all be- 1 lieving in early hours out our way. Hank felt arc>1nd and found his hoss and united it and backed it out, and then felt around and found Matilda and helped her into theve-hick-el She sot down and jolted herself up and down once or twice and says she:
 ''Mr. Hanks, ,'pears to me that there's something out O whacl1 with this here 1 ouggy.'' /
 "Oh. no," says Hanks, who by this 1 time was in himself and had started the hoss, tits all right-little uphill here, that's al1.''
 Matilda still thought things wasn't all O. K, and said she reckoned she'd l have to tie a weight to her feet to keep from falling out back'ards.
 "Just you stay calnn,' says Hanks. We're going up old Spinner's hill must be most to the top," and he let the hoss jog along slow to rest occa- l sionally, cause he seen it was a hard | pull So they poked along, and Hanks said he reckoned he'd have to get out and walk if the hill got much sleeper. l When they did happen to strike lit- ! 5le hill they both had to lean for'ards and hang onto the dashboard to keep from rolling out behind. And every few minutes stopping to let the hoss rest.
 By-and-by Matilda begun to get spunky, and says she:
 I've been over this here road be- fore and don't remember no such aw- ful hang -on-and- d-1ast-forever hill"
 s'Oh, that's all right says Hanks, 'now we're goin up the Gristmill hill"
 ''But where was the ho1ler betwixt spinner's hill and the Gristmill hill ?" l inquiries Matilda.
 |'Only way can figure it out is that ! the road commissioners must a-hlled it up and made one long hill of it" says Hanks. Can't tell what road com missioner will do, you know
 So they poked along for another half hour, saying nothing. Then says Hanks:
 Matilda, this does seem to be g some considerable right smart bit of an 1 eminence. I don't altogether fathom I the mystery of it.'' Then after some more hard climbing, with hoss resting frequently, says Hanks: ''Bet dollar l n half we're on the wrong road Reck- on we might bear off to the left" l So they beared off-still uphill. Then l they beared off to the right-more hill. Then they jagged in all directions still up'ards, like the Excelsior feller. Then after going for a mile 'n' half straight up big hill they turned square around and started back--just Rs steep.
 "Well, hang me-" says Hanks, "this beats the Rocky mountains and the Him Layers rolled into one! We'll get out of it if it kills the hoss!" and he 1 hit the animal crack with the whip and went tearing along like passen- l ger train, them both freezing to the dashboard for dear life. And bout the time they'd travelled five miles in mis- cellaneous directions, the hoss on a dead run, it begun to get some light, and they seen them there unnat'ral I hind wheels looming up each side of 'em, and Hanks just sort O sunk back into stopper. But Matilda didn't take to the stopper notion at all, and rize up I and says she:
 "Stop that hoss, you audacious vi1- Han! Haul me around all night in such high-shouldered rig as this, will you, and talk to me bout going up the side I of Mung Blung mountain! Lemme out! and she hopped over the wheel and l struck out for home, which she reached about sun-up. And little later Hanks l drove into town, with the wheels still the same, him not knowing how to fix lem; and by a strange coin-cide-ence me and passel of some 20 or 30 others which had been at the dance happened to be on the corner when he went past. .I felt we ought to be cheerful and neighbor1y to him, he having come into our midst stranger for his health, so sings out:
 Good morning, MT. Hanks! Been out to the hop tripping the bunbastic, hey? Say, what you want to do is to trade that hoss for a giraffe and have something to match your ve-hicI1-el.'' 5
 And the next dance Matilda went with me.
 ] INDIANS KNOW 4 COWARD.