The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-11-22

.WeH, Mrs. Pedagog," said the Idiot,
with a broad and genial smile, as he
dropped his newspaper and turned his
sary Department, II presume that with
your usual forethought, you have al
ready laid your plans for next Thurs
days banquet?'
Il certainly have, Mr.. idiot" replied
the good lady addressed. And what
is more, I am going to profit by my
last years experience, which taught
me never to judge a mans appetite
by his lack of prosperity. All you gem
tlemen were so cast down by your
troubles of the year previous to last
Thanksgiving, that I thought you
would come to table with an impaired
annette, but not one of you did so,
with the result that when we were fin
ished upstairs. there wasn't even a
wishbone left for the kitchen; and ev-
cry atom of cranberry had disappeared
into your thankless Threats; and as
for the pumpkin pie, Mary said you
must have eaten even the plates, for
three of them disappeared and have
never turned up since"
Il don't remember any such paucity
of food" began the Idiot.
NO" said the landlady, You nat
urally wouldn't, for, saying that you
didn't care what part of the turkey
YOU got, you actually consumed four
slices of white meat, two drumsticks,
two second joints, and wishbone, to-
gether with such tit-bits as I was sub
sequently able to extract for your ben
eft from the carcass"
"Well, my dear Madame, can you
blame me?" said the Idiot. Your cram
berry sauce is so awfully good that
had to eat something else to cover up
my inroads into the seemingly peren-
NAL supply"
There's no harm DONE" rejoined the
Landlady. Both the turkey and the
sauce, not to mention the pumpkin pie,
We're designed for the purpose to which
you put them. 1 only object when my
plates disappear"
Il plead not guilty to the plates"
put in the Idiot. 81 haven't eaten a
bit of crockery for twenty-five years.
I judge from the china eye that Mr..
Brief gives me occasionally that it is
he who hath done you this injury-or
perhaps the Bibliomaniac. l have
known eX-boOk-lovers whose passion
for rare plates remained long after
their Libraries had passed into the auc-
ton ROOM"
"Tutt!" said the Bibliomanic, scorn-
fully.
otherwise" said the Landlady, az
shall be ready for you next Thursday.
l have had a prosperous period of it
this year. There isn't one of you that
is more than a month behind in his
rent; every room in the house has been
occupied summer and winter since the
first of January, and owing to the con-
struction of the subway through our
street, my rent has been reduced fifty
per cent, SO you see l can afford to
give you individual turkeys and a sep
arate pumpkin pie each if L deem it
necessary.
by Jove Mrs. Pedagog," cried the
Idiot, enthusiastically, you are a very
Carnegie of landladies-large hearted
and a believer in profit sharing. If my
latest enterprise on Wall street goes
through I think l shall make you Gen
eral Manager.
"Ah?" said Mr. Brief. Something
doing in promotion, eh?'
Yes" said the Idiot. 81 am working
up the Empire City Consolidated
Boarding House Corporation We pro-
pose to corner all the boarding houses
in the city, and by putting them upon
q sounder economic basis, make dollars
sprout from hitherto barren soil. We
shall have a Landlady General to look
after the whole outfit; a Bureau of
Complaints, where, when things go
wrong, protests may be sent so that
the everlasting growing at the break
fast table by dissatisfied boarders will
become a thing of the past; and that