Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-01-10
JOBSON'S NEW SUIT.

" suggested Mrs. Jobson to Mr.. Jobson one
evening about two months ago, when he
seemed TO be ID an zfabIe numor, that this
year you ought to have an evening suit?"
Now, Mrs. Jobson had been making this
same suggestion to Nr. Jobson every season
for something like Is years, and had al
ways been rebufied. But the soul Of the
married woman never despairs when she
imagines that she is pretty well acquainted
with her man and is learning him better
all the time, and By such persistence ad
Mrs. Jobson won many victories il er
directions. And so she took the chance
On this evening suit suggestion once again.
But ID was again a failure. Mr.. Jcbson
drew himself up straight in his Morris chair,
gaared at her much asst she had just thrown
a book at his head and missed it by half an
inch, and growled:
Madam, I'm often tempted to wonder if
you possess the notion shat ] have no more
Of a memory than a snake doctor. Are
you aware Of that fact that you have been
making that same idiotic proposal to me
regularly ever ~since-since the deluge, and
that just as regularly l have told yol that
never, 50 long as / have enough breath lett
In my frame to snuff a Christmas candle
held at a distance Of hall an inch from my
nose, viii l do such an imbeciA trick as
to don one Of those spike-tail affairs that
make a man look like a."
But" i~nterposed Mrs. Jebson, sooth-
ingly, Il am sure that you would look so
nice in evening clothes, you are so-so-er--
portly, you know, and"
That VIII do about the p~ortliness, "
growled Mr.. Jobson. III you want 10 come
right out and say that | am tat, fat, just
you go ahead and DO it, instead OF trying
to stick In these little cat-dabs. / don't
weigh as much as a ton Of coal yet, at that,
and, even if / did, it wouldn't be any dis
grace, and il you have got tie lCea tCat
it's the whole duty OF a mans wlie 10
throw things up to aim That ae isn't directly
responsible for, why
Il only meant pas In AIRS. Jobs0n, mol
lifyingly, that / think a man wbo Is sigat-
ly stout, you know, atWays looks mGcA Oct
ter in evening clothes team q lhia L45l, ana,
besides, you know, all OF your friends nave
evening suits. anG Haen they 60 TO the
theater or an ERE 81 nigat they"
1T doesn't make a particle Of difference
to me, Ms. J.t.5a, leaaing back in his
chair, poaaeeces}, ana twiddiing his
thumbs. My IlieAt.s aave got a whole lot
Of things that | don't want and wouldn't
have"
"0h, well, il you doa'5 ike evening clothes,
of course, went On Mrs. Jobson, only |
thought that as we're now getting along a
bit, and people even of old-tashioned IDEAS
are becoming so much more liberal about
these things, why you might"
"WeI | miehtn't." cut in Mr.. ,Jobson.
land that's ali there is about it. Nv old
fashionedness suits me right down to the
ground when it comes to wearing an outfit
of toys that makes anv man. no matter
how he may shape upl in decent attire for
sense. look like a popiniay or a Wilje-boy
or a waiter or an undertaken. When | ret
so that | am willing to add spikes to the.
rear end of my coat, [ want YOU to call a
hack and have me shipped over to that bio
building on the other side of the eastern
branch Just as fast as | can be taken there.
| am willing to stand for all of your luna
cies, Mrs. Jobson. like Mission furniture
and Delft ware and gilded milking stools
tied with cherry ribbons in the parlor. and
all that sort of tommyrot, but you needn't
expect that I'm going to become a freak
myself Just to give you cou~ntenance.
$50 you might as well cancel all dates.
now and forever, when it comes TO suggest
ing the dress-suit scheme to me. ia as
soon 90 to the theater in a suit Of pajamas
of a G-string and a string of tigers teeth.
and that's all there is about it. Is the base,
ment door locked? All richt-Tm going to
bed"
Which. even to the hopeful mind Of Mrs.
,Jobson. seemed to settle the eyening-clotbes
proposition. for another wear at least.
But it didn't. The Jobsons were lust sit
ting down at dinner the other evening when
a small bow lugged an oblong box down the
basement stem and rang the bell. Mrs
,Jobson answered the ring and received tbe
box. which she brought into the dining
room with an expression of justification
Mr.. ,Jobsop. on the other hand. wore a
sheeDish look.
"Wbatisit?" incurred Mrs. .Jobson. hold.
ing the box M anc examining the outside
Of if curiopsly. Is . woman will examine
the outside Of a TELEGRAM and wonder who
has sent &. without thinking of opening Il
TO find out.
Look and see" said Mr.. ,Jobson. in
rather a Guilty tone.
"WbvS exclaimed Mrs. ,Jobson. rantu.