The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-07-03

SPARKS. -.


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OF the Earth
Beside a pyrotechnic pile
There sat a Chinese gentle
Man. and with a winning smile
And gestures Oriental.
lie strongly urged that one and all
Should patronize his little STALL
And anyone could see ne was a terrestrial
celestial
Upon that pyrotechnic pile
One threw a flaming match.
Ana IN very little while
That Chink was hard to catch,
his upward flight no power could
His place Of business was wreck.
And nobody would say he was terres-
trial celestial.
Little Joe" died over or the reser-
walton Thursday night Joe was a
good Indian, says the Vernal Express.
And it is proper to assume that Joe
Will continue to be good Indian
Presently we shall be saying, "The
unparalleled Salt Lake team has won
another glorious victory" or, possibly,
That decayed bunch that was given
US by Portland has had the hooks
thrown into it again. 1t all depends.
Local doctors give us the assurance
that they have arranged matters so
that regular patients viii require but
a small portion of the doctors time.
and it will, therefore. be all right to
let the celebration proceed.
One good thing about a dust storm.
is that it does not often occur during
the muddy season.
Don't blame the boy if he turns out
bad. Most boys try to grow up to be
just like their fathers.
We can recall the names of several
public spirited citizens who have re-
solved TO drink no more water this
summer in order to help out the local
water situation as much as possible.
These gentlemen are modest philan
thropists, and for that reason their
names are withheld.
Don't be afraid Of the man who tells
about the people he has licked bur
watch out for the fellow who occasion
ally names man that licked him.
Don't come limping around to US
after the thing is over and say you
didn't know it was loaded. Every
thing is supposed to be loaded on the
Fourth, guns, street cars, citizens, etc,
included.
A Salt Lake weekly paper. in its ac-
count of a social affair recently given
in the city, says it was not a success.
Observe the mot" II is positively re-
freshing TO read an account of a social
function as it really is.
Salt Lakes former noted colored dog
catcher. J. Gordon Macpherson. is now
minister Of the gospel and is plan
ming lecture tour through the south.
This should teach all dog ca tchers that
they may not be always thus.
Among other useful things We have
learned from the investigation is that
there are such things as "postofi1ce
physicians" 1t is claimed, however,
that their duties did not include doc
toring the accounts.
In regard to Senator Hopkins dec
leration that IL Is a shame and a dis
grace that cOlOrsd men are not sent
to congress from the southern states"
we venture to suggest that the cOlored
men may be particular in choosing
their associates.
If the local messenger boys would
strike a gait occasionally It would be
3 strike the public would feel like en-
dorsing.
It seems even our local pOstOffice was
given quite an airing Wednesday even
ing.
Sir Thomas says the Reliance Cooks
like a wonderful boat" He may learn
that in this case looks are not deeep-
tive. Let US so hope.
Wouldn't it be a lonesome day If We
should not have our regular Kentucky
KILN and customary negro lynching?
Just to show Utah is in thorough
touch with national affairs. we are
going to have little investigation of
our national guard.
BY means of its raft and cable
scheme. Saltair expects to make a
strong pull for more patronage.
We take the position that there is
some elephant blood in that Salt Lake
horse which has a tail growing out Of
its forehead.