The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-11-12
WHITE SALMON NOTES.

Mrs. p. A. Tranna has been taken to
The Dalles for special medical care.
James Hancock is the latest one to
begin building residence.
Mrs. A. II. Jewett and Holus have re-
Turned from Portland, where the latter
has been under the best medical care.
We are glad to say that Eous is inn
proved.
Ira Rowland, our ferryman, is build
ing boat l6 feet long, Az feet beam
and of the round-bottom variety
George A. Thomas, wife and child
went to Cottage Grove in Southern Or
egon on a visit to friends last Sunday
They will remain for about two weeks.
1t is reported that Mr.. Jacobson, for
nfer owner of the Main & Bowman place,
will return from Norway to White sal
mon to invest again in property here.
Rumors of another opposition line on
the Columbia river are floating about
and the Oregonian reports that the
steamer lone may be the new candidate
for public favor. Guess she won't cut
present rates unless she offers free choc-
olate caramels to lady passengers and
free cigars for the lhen.
The editor of the Enterprise advertis-
es that he will practice in all courts,
state and federal including the supreme
court OF the United States. Good for
you Bro. Harlan.
Some unprincipled or else careless per-
son, "without the fear of the Lord be-
fore his eyes and at the instigation OF
the devil" as the old Pilgrim Fathers
used to put it in their indictments,
smashed large window pane in the
front of the Enterprise office Halloween
night. Whether an accident or not the
man who did it ought to have the man.
hood to come up and pay the bill. This
community doesn't endorse that kind oi
fun.
Monthly report cards are to be used
in our school at once. This system will
make it possible for every parent to
know the standing of his or her child in
each branch taught. The system ought
to help the pupil, the parent and the
teacher.
To the quiet music OF the first snow
fall of the season, procession of friends
and neighbors marched to the home oi
Mr.. and Mrs. Main, Monday evening
taking possession for the time. The
hours sped away under the spell ol
games, music and dancing. Mr.. and
Mrs. Main and their daughter Gertrude
have fitted very gracefully into the So
cial life OF White Salmon.
A brother of George A. Thomas, for.
merly OF Missouri, with his family, have
adopted this as their home and are liv
ing on what is known as the Lane place
Mr.. Thomas likes the climate so far al
he has seen it.
UP AGAINST THE REAL THING.
Your correspondent dined at one o
Hood Rivers leading hotels the othel
day. We did the two-step into the
dining room and after gracefully gliding
into chair and tucking our napkin
lovingly inside of our neck, or rather
inside of collar in front, we rolled ou
gazele-like eyes about from embarrass
ment and hunger, and spied some littl,
applets on the S, e. ID of the n. e. "a o
the table. Now, Hood River apples ar,
world renowned, but these little wrin
kled, wiZzened, measly applets w
Chewed on were the kind Hood Rive
people have left after shipping the othe
kind that make them famous. The,
were about the size of backward Hys
lop crab and no amount of biting woult
fetch the juice. We gnawed on our
faithfully and sincerely searching 10
nutriment, while we wondered If ther
were better ones for sauer and more i'm
posing looking guests, and incidentally
to give the fawn-like waitress time T.
return from Cloud Cap Inn, where sh
had evidently gone for our order. Blu
no, so far as the eye could reach wer
dishes OF these same little apples, The
were Of the variety known as "Hale'
Wrinkled Beauty, sometimes improper
ly called "Hale's Mealy Cork. "
Well, by and by, or possibly a (e,
minutes later than that, when we ha
forgotten our order and were wonder
ing how large the children would be a
home by the time supper was over
while the front and back Of our "stum
mick" were grating like two washboard
or pieces of corrugated iron roofing, ou
order arrived, the waitress having bee
compelled to walk all the way--that j
to say, the order arrived all but glas
of milk, Hood River being short of mil
now that the cows are being compelle,
to keep off the grass.
Well, we removed from the apertur
in our countenance, the measy littl,
apple by side swipe of our dimple,
hand and stored it away in our pants
pocket when nobody was looking w
shall use it to put with other bric-a-bra
on our hen-house floor to prevent rat
from gnawing up through.
Now, this is no laughing matter. IT.
a solemn, serious, nefarious, indigenous
and pusillanimous fact that people from
all over this great country, from Gobl,
and Skamokaway to Cape Cod and re
turn,get up against the measly spawned
apples that Hood River don't ship
They are not firm enough for nestegg
and they won't chew up or mash up
They wont bake nor stew. They woulC
make passably good jerked beef if the
skin could be removed, but that is i'm
practicable, so there we are. Why, ;
White Salmon man won't look at al
apple less than ten inches in diameter
unless he can't get the ferry and is hun!
up in Hood River.