The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-05-28
REALM OF FUN.


We read Of an Eastern author who
wrote three stories in one night, and
then walked out of an open window
and fell fOur.-Atlanta Constitution.
Master gently to new boy)-Smith-
ers, my boy, can you tell me what
noun is? New Boy (anXious to please
No, sir; but I'm sure my father
could-Punch.
Kitty--Theodore tells me all his
thoughts are of me- Blanche-Yes,
that's very pretty; but they do say
that Theodore never thinks.-Boston
Transcript
"You say your playing created great
deal of talk?" said the friend. eyes"
answered the pianist, "but unfortunate
ly it was mostly during my perform
ance Washington Star.
Mrs. Uppson-Your grandfather is an
| octogenarian, is he not? Mrs. Neurich
Indeed, he isn't anything of the sort.
| He is the most truthful man | ever
bumped up against.-Chicago Daily
| News
Thomas A. Edison says that despite
| his numerous inventions he does not
| yet know what electricity is. We de-
sire to say for Mr.. Edison's enlighten-
ment that electricity is hot stuff
Houston Post.
Caller-Isn't this your sisters birth
| day? Little Bessie-Yeth, thir; but
you mustn't athk me how old she it'll,
cauth I promised not to tell.-April
Smart Set.
He-Will you marry me? She-No
| He--Well, will you be bridesmaid at
| the wedding when | marry Miss Will
kinson? | am going over to propose
| to her now.-Somerville Journal.
She-How long have you been living
| in New York? He-Oh, came here
about the time they began digging up
| the streets for the subway. Have you
| been here as long as hat?-Yonkers
Statesman.
81 sent to you for a detective the
other day for some important work."
II know you did, sir; but I had none to
spare; every one of them was investi-
eating the career of some college ath-
lete. Puck.
Miss Passay-That wealthy Mr. Hun
ter was pleased to say that 1 interested
him. Miss Sharpe-The idea! How
rude of him. Miss Passay-Rude?
Miss Sharpe-Yes; he's a collector of
antiques. Philadelphia Press.
eve might as we'll consider our en-
gagement as broken, Reginald" Il
don't see why. Your father said post
poned" Postponed until you arrive
at years of discretion, and in your case,
Regy, dear, you know what that means.
/ Detroit Free Press.
Once more the modern Sherlock was
equal to the emergency. "That man
claims to have crossed the continent in
a Pullman palace car" said Sherlock,
''but [ know that he rode on top OF
freight train" How did you find that
out?' oueried the mystified friend.
"Why I crept up behind him and yelled
Low bridget You should have seen
him duck his head Chicago News.
Nicholas II has decreed religious
freedom in Russia. Next thing you
know the car will be running on re-
form ticket-Cleveland World.
First Theatre Manager-We have
stopped printing jokes in our programs.
| It had got so that patrons didn't listen
to the funny men at all, but read their
| programs instead. Second Ditto-Why
at our house we print the jokes on
purpose to prevent the patrons from
noticing how bad the stuff is that's got
off on the stage.-Boston Transcript.
Tourist-Say, my good fellow, am
on the right road to the town? Native
| latter a pause)-Ya-as, stranger, but
reckon you're goin' in the wrong di-
recshun-Lippincott
Some philosopher takes time to re-
mark that things move along so Issya