The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-07-26
OFFICIAL POSITION
FOR A GOOD HEA
Geological Survey Is Being
Tormented to Death.
EDITORIAL
COMMENT
Negotiations Entered Into for
One of Regular Habits.

washington, July 2o.-The stories which
have abounded in the country press dur
ing the warm weather this year of poul-
try Of unusual accomplishments and ul-
tra-exemplary accomplishments and ultra
exemplary virtue can hardly fail TO have
thrilled the newspaper-reading public.
They range in variety from the account
of the victory by the American fowls in
the international egg-laying contest in
Australia down to. Mrs. McNally's Lit
tie White Lady, and the slxteen-year-
old Biddy which is the inseparable com
panion of Mr. Hitchcock of Springfield,
Mass. But the largest and most varied
collection of such literature to be found
anywhere, perhaps. is the scrapbook
which some one has taken the trouble
TO make of editorial comments on the re-
ported proposal Of the Geological Survey
TO apply to the civil service commission
for hen to receive a regular government
appointment as an egg-producer TO the
me nof science who use albumen in the
photo-lithosrapsic work of the engraving
department. Here are some of them:
Political pull will have absolutely no
influence, and the appointment will be
dictated solely to the quality OF the albu-
men of science who use aIbumen In the
the applicants. valuable as the latter &C
complishment is in political crisis.
With an enormous surplus In the trea-
sury, and nearly a billion dollars voted
by congress at les last session for gov
eminent expense. the country could prob
ably afford to buy a hen for the gen.
tiemen OF the Geological Survey. This
seems to be a case, however. in which
the peoples money ought not to be squan-
dered IN the purchase of an ignorant
barnyard fowl. There are said TO
be hens which lay eggs with beautiful
pictures On them as perfect works of art
as the productions Of the old masters.
There are also hens. according to re-
ports, which lay eggs with selections
from famous authors inscribed upon them.
1t may be possible to find a hen
for the Geological Survey which will lay
eggs with maps and charts imprinted up
on them, thus saving the photo-litho-
graphic bureau from the necessity of
working overtime during the dogdays.
An ancient naturalist described man as
But it is apparently conceivable that a
two-legged animal with feathers may en-
ter the civil service. The ordinary
frivolous barnyard fowl of commerce.
with no special pedigree and not much
self-respect. will not do at all. She must
be seriously concerned with the chief end
of hen life. If such a hen applies.
she will be guaranteed an excellent posi-
ton, with short hours and plenty of con-
sideration.
If the competent hen" which the Geo
logical Survey demands fails TO make
good" she can be beheaded without fear
of appeal or of arousing a party issue.
Come hither, hens of the barnyard breed.
And hens of culture and pride of birth.
At present there is an urgent need
Of eggs that work for the moneys
worth.
And have your intellect all unpent
If you wish us to believe you're fit
To go TO work for the government.
Among the questions all applicants must
answer before they are even permitted to
try the examination are these:
IL Do not use intoxicating beverage
e. Do not use opium or morphine in
any form.
o. Are you now married?
a. Were you ever married?
o. Have you ever been convicted of any
crime?
a. Have you any chronic disease?
"a Have you any chronic defect Of sight
in either eye?
81 Do Won wear glasses2
o. Have you any defect of speech?
OF hearing?
Q0) What is your exact weight?
CD What is your height?
Qg) Date Of birth?
Q9) Place Of birth?
Q4) What has been your principal bus
mess of occupation during the last four
years?
II viii be seen, therefore. that any hen
desiring the proud office suggested must
prepare herself. In taking the exam
animation she must provide herself with
pencils and erasers. The government viii
furnish the paper.
No candidate who cannot show previous
good character and present fitness for the
post should be considered. The CHIEF re-
quisites demanded in the government fowl
are promptness and fidelity in fulfilling
her noble trust But are these The
only things to be considered? We think
not, Is foreign contract labor TO take the
bread out OF the mouths Of honest Amer
lean hens? Home talent must have the
preference The peOple viii be viziIant
in this matter. Efforts viii undoubtedly
be made to give the post 20 some SLEEK
Black Spanish men. Or some festheT-ieg-
ged fowl from Cochin-Chins OF Shanghai.
But that egg must be American This Is
a sab jet for patriotic action. The DsuKh-
tiers Of the American Revolution. the So
ciet yof Colonial Wars and kindred or
gsnisstions should see 70 Il that tire hen
ciety Of Colonial Wars and kindred Or
Rock With unqu-stiozabie pedigree
II Uncle San would look 10 his hens.
he veuid snd many IN N. service u the
lighthouse department and would not have
20 advertise There Is scsrosly q light
house along New York harooT that hes
not a extensive poGlry yard one light
house keeper having besides his chick
ems a f-s collection Of turkeys. pigeons.
rabbits q pig coz ard two monkey
Possibly ore % Tres. seaside S~zs might
be transferred from the Coast Survey 20
th- G>oiogiczl Survey
II tie United States GeoIoSicsl Survey
snds the h>n that All lay an egg every
day. perhaps Il may also discover IRE
famous her ard hsif that LAYS ar exg
and a half r a DAY ard rsir