The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-12-20

until fl came time for him to die Then
with muttered Curse YOU. we clinched
but AT once saw that I was to have my
hands full. An old coiored man once told
me De harder yOuse grip All eel de
wuss youse gWine ter find it. Dat ell jes
gWtne ter git away from you, shuah. sab
big heap o. difference.
'Wen, I suppose it's the same with the
inert human form. Anyway, the minute
I grappled Blank he collapsed. I tried 20
lift him, and expected 70 do it easily, as
he was light Of form. But when I picked
him up by the middle his head and shout
ders slumped, and ] could not elevate
MIN. Then I got behind him. cTutched
him BY the shoulders. and tried to pass
my arms about his knees, but his body
shipped through my grasp like a bag OF
meal Then I tried 10 stand him up 50
that I could catch hold OF his ankles and
t0pple him over. We went down together.
lie made no opposition. just reclined SUI
pine. After 7 had winded myself 20 no
avail he staggered to his feet and said
huskily Let me do it, and over he
Vaulted.
But it taught me a lesson. That is,
that no-big athelete can throw a small
man over a fence or wall IL the slim man
will only relax his muscles and do moth
ing. I've seen It tried since then on a
wager several times, but I never saw the
aggressor win.
Here are some specimens Of the kind Of
dialogue that John j. McNally has PRO
vided for the American version of the
Drury Lane spectacle, Mother Goose,
now on view at the New Amsterdam the
atre. Jill enters with school books on her
arm and Mother Goose asks her where
she has been
ITO school Of course" she answers.
What did you learn there2'
ooh, geography, photography. phOtOg-
Taphy and stenOgraphy."
Il won't have YOU learning that stein
ography." says Mother Goose. Il had
enough trouble about the stems with
your father.
Not steinography." SAYS JuI; ste
biography. A man dictates to me. and 1
II didn't have TO be taught that" says
Mother Goose; your father tried to die
tate 60 me. and 7 took him down.
Jill inquiries Of Mother Goose if she
knows anything about geography, and
when the old lady replies in the affirm
alive. the daughter asks:
How many states are there in the
Mother Goose answers in figures run
ming into the millions.
81 said states, not saloons is JilIs
Mother Goose comes on in one scene
dressed for a fox hunt. She rides
make-believe horse. and after dismOunt-
ing puts him through his PAGES. The Old
lady dilates upon the wonderful wisdom
of the horse and tells how good he is II
arithmetic.
How old are your" she asks.
Tho horse taps the stage three times
with one hoOf
How old is this trick?" asks the Ole
dame.
The horse begins to dance. and brings
all his h0Ofs down with a merry tattoo.
How old is Ann?' is the next Ques-
ton, and the animal simply topples over.
One of the scenes which provoses con-
siderable merriment is that in which Two
Of the comedians come in as soldiers,
Mother Goose herself appearing as
vivandiere. a mock war drama is gone
through. Then a messenger arrives from
the front He is covered with dust,
which flies all about and lodges in Moth
er GoOses throat, TO her evident discOm
fort. Suddenly she bethinks herself OF
a sprinkling pot brings il over, and
plentfully mOistens the soldiers coat
A little later she walks down to the
foOtlights and remarks.
ANY news from the front?'
Then she adds: "Only $500 in the house
and the enemy refuses to go on
In "Winsome Winnie" one Of the char
acters says:
4 hear that in New York you find goid
in the streets
"Oh. yes" answers Winnie. wall
street IS paved with gold bricks"
Another line which brings responsive
laughter is that suggested by the remark
that England Is the mother country.
with our rich heireSseg marrying over