The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1903-11-12
How Bumps
Joined the Army
Copyright. 1908, by Daily Story Pub. Coz
BERNARD HAGGERTY

III OILY smoke! Bumps is an off,
cert" exclaimed Jim Hartwell,
foreman of the Chamberlain outfit, to
mis- fellow COW punebers grouped neg
ligently around the camp fire on tho
starlit Texas prairie. 9TH little cuss;
who'd a thought that little chap would
ever wear shoulder straps an a
sword"
The members of the Chamberlain out
it were resting after hard days work
at the roundup. The big foreman drew
closer to the light of the fire and read this
paragraph, under the heading of army
and navy orders, from the newspaper he
held in his hand:
ITO be second. lieutenant in the cav
airy, First Sergeant John Chamberlain,
Of the Sixteenth cavalry"
"Yu' fellows never knew tn peculiar
circumstances under which tn kid
jiNed tn regular army an how he came
by tn nickname Bumps, did yu'?" con-
tinued Foreman Jim to his lounging au-
differs. well. I'll tell yu'. Yu' see, tn
kid was born right here on this ranch,
the mother died when the boy was less'n
a year old.
Col. Chamberlain gave tn lad all tn
attention he could, considerin' tn bust
ness he had to handle, but at that tn
boy did pretty much as he pleased til
he was Is or 16 years of age. Young
Jack saw more of tn COW punchers than
he did of anybody else about tn ranch
an tn result was that when he arrived
at tn age just mentioned he could ride
an shoot with tn best man in tn out
fit.
He was a nice little kid an not a bit
proud because his dad owned tn biggest
ranch in Texas. An talk about deviltry
why that boy was up to more of it than
any Indian kid ever born on tn prairies
When he could raise no other excitement
he'd go out an stampede herd just to
see tn cowees do stunts on horseback
At these times he wasn't so popular with
tn boys, but they soon forgot tn lads
tricks as they watched him grow up a
fair an square little cuss.
There was one thing, which, to speak
figuratively. was always thorn in tn
kids side That was his size. All tn
outdoor work had made tn boy as hard
as nails, but when he was 16 an it was
seen that he'd reached his full growth,
he was only about five feet four from tn
prairie. This stuck in tn kids crop an
made him scrappy whenever anyone
spoke of his shape. 1t also stuck in tn
colonels crop. TIL colonel had about
this time commenced to notice that tn
lad had sand.
''Yu' know tn colonel was in tn army
It'll tn big war broke out between tn
north an tn south. Then he jined tn
army of tn south an came out of tn
fracas a colonel TIL colonel's grand
father an father had fought in tn wars
against England an tn greasers, so tn
army feelin' was deep in tn old man.
heart He sort of calculated to put Jack
in tn army, but when he came to size
tn boy up he knew tn lad would never
pass them army doctors on account of
his size. So he gave up tn idea of havin'
Jack an army officer.
'"Th' kid knew his dad wanted him to
jine tn army an also knew that his
sawed-off figure would keep him out He
felt pretty bad about it an made things
hum round tn ranch for awhile It'll tn
feelin' sort of wore off. Well, things
went along for awhile, when the kid was
sent to San Antonio to school. tell yu'
twas mighty lonesome round tn ranch
without young Jack.
"Well, tn first thing we know. along
comes tn news that tn Maine is blown
up by tn Spaniards. We all knew that
tn news meant war an in a few days
TIL ranch was as clear of cowees as tn
prairie is of grass after fire calcu-
lated to stop round few days to help
tn colonel put things in shape before
making a Decline for Dallas to get Into
q blue Uniform.
I could see that tn old man felt
mighty bad because his family would
Not be represented in tn war, an so
xept kinder quiet about tn comm scrap.
Well, who should come lopin' into tn
corral one day but tn kid He made a
jump for his dad an commenced to coax
him to get tn wires goin' so that he could
get into tn army. TIL colonel could have
got tn boy in by just writin' few words
to Austin, but he wasn't that kind of a
man. He figured that when one of his
family couldn't jine tn army on his own
hook it wouldn't look good for him to
advertise tn fact.
so he was kind to tn kid an patted
him on tn back an told him to return to
school an forget tn army. Young Jack
baked at that an tn next day when !
saddled up to ride to Dallas to jine, tn
youngster was on his broncho hittin' tn
trail 'longside me. tried to turn him