Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-03-12
STORIETTES.

A gentleman who was discussing
with the late DR.. Parker the problem
II future existence exclaimed: THE
act is sir, am an annihilationist.
believe that when I die that will be
The end of me-" Thank God for
hat" DR.. Parker replied, as he show.
ed his companion the door.
In his "reminiscences of George
Washington, DR.. Edward Everett Hale
tells Of the generals anger at Mon.
mouth, when he met General Lee
Washington asked Lee why such
column was retiring, and Lee said that
the American troops would not stand
the British bayonets. Washington re-
piled: you On poltroon, you have
never tried them!"
In his recent book on China and
the Chinese" DR.. Giles tells Of a very
stingy Chinaman who took paltry
sum of money to an artist-payment
Is always exacted in advance-and
asked him to paint his portrait. The
artist at once complied with the re-
quest, but when the portrait was
finished nothing was visible save the
back of the sitter's head. What does
this mean! cried the sitter, indig.
nantly. WELL" replied the artist, Il
thought a man who paid so little as
you paid wouldn't care to show his
face"
Henry Ward Beecher was amused
when he went into Bowery restau-
rant on one occasion and heard the
waiter give such orders to the cook as
Ham and" "Sinkers and cow"
etc. Watch me faze that waiter
with an order which believe he
won't abbreviate," remarked Beecher
at length as the waiter approached.
Then he said: "Give us poached eggs
on toast for two, with the yolkes
broken" But the waiter, who was
equal to the emergency, walked to the
end of the room and yelled: adam
and Eve on a raft. Wreck EN-" 1t
Is related that DR.. Beecher nearly
tainted.
Charles II. e. Brookfeld says he
was in Stevenson's company at the
moment when the germ of the idea of
'Dr. Jekyll and Mr.. Hyde" was con-
ceived. Stevenson was inveighing
against man with whom he had done
business and with whose methods he
was dissatisfied. The mans name was
Samuel Creggan, or something like it..
"He is a man who trades on the
Samuel" Stevenson declared in his
rather finnicky, musical Scots voice.
He receives you with Samueps smile
on his face; with the gesture of Sam
uel he invites you into a chair; with
Samuel's eyes cast down in self-depre.
citation, he tells you how we'll satisfied
his clients have always been with his
dealings; but every now and then you
catch glimpse of the Creggan peep.
ing out like a white ferret. Creggan's
the real man; Samuel's only super.
dcial"
1t is related that during the time
that the force bill was before the
house of representatives, a number of
years ago, the galleries were fairly
clustered with black men, whose in
terest in the measure was intense.
One afternoon, while the extremely
acrid discussion of the bill was at it's
height, an aged, ministerial-looking
darkey found front seat in one gal.
lery. A seat-mate was a negro youth
who had blacn bottle with him. 1t
was not long before the young darkey
nudged the old one, and offered him a
sNig from the bottle. The aged dar-
key took a long draw from the bottle,
and smacked his lips over it, and for
an hour or so the occupants of the cor
respondents gallery, which was di-
rectly opposite, watched the younger
negro leading the older one into temp
tation. The ministerial-looKing black
man took perhaps half a dozen drinks
out of his seat-mate's black bottle in
the course of the hour, and by that
time he seemed considerably excited
A representative from Massachusetts,
was making a strenuous speech in de-
tense of the voting rights of the ne
groes of the southern states. At the
end of one of his most eloquent per
iods, the old black man suddenly
stood up, leaned over the rail, pointed
q long, black finger at the Massa
Chusetts representative, and shouted
"An' dat's all right! Preach de Word
man-preach it," A roar of laughter
swept the chamber, and the discom
| flied New Highlander did not resume
| his speech until the enthusiastic ole
| darkey had been led out of the gallery
| by a dOorkeeper