Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1903-11-13
HORSE TELLS OF
"PEOPLE SHOW y
One of the ThOrOughbreds De-
scribes the Great Exhibit of
Human Beings at the Reser-
vOir, and Harps on Their
panpppforSfoc

| ScTtDeS tne 1r68C EXn1O1G OIL
Human Beings at the Reser-
vOir, and Harps on Their
Peculiarites.
BurlesQuc by''Idle Reporter" in Times Dispatch
DEAR EDITOR:
AS it is very seldom that a horse
contributes to newspaper literature,
and as nature has but poorly equip
ped me for "taking my pen in hand" /"
it is with the greatest diffidence that
comply with your request to pre-
pare you an article on the great Peo-
pie Show which recently took place
in the handsome barn at the Reservoir.
Though / am now but poor,
spawned back-number, l have from
my earliest colthood been taught to
respect blue blood, and il may not be
amiss here to say that i am o cousin
german Of the famous Heatherbloom
and a lineal descendant of Buce-
phalus, who, as you know, had that
great man Alexander for his valet.
These matters are mentioned not
because / suffer from the pride of
ancestry, but because now and then
they make me speak contemptuously
of my fellow horses. Nothing 80 ir-
ritates a thoroughbred with an
ancient pedigree as contact with
parvenus aud that Rosinante class
of equines which thinks that the
mere docking of a tail can equip
them for any social stratum.
But more of that anon. l find
myself growing so spiteful in my
allusions to my fellow horses that
have we'll nigh forgotten to say a
word concerning the faithful bipeds
who struggled SO hard to entertain us.
And right here in the beginning,
Mr.. Editor, l wish it distinctly un-
derstood that / have the greatest
sympathy and kindest feelings for
human beings. Indeed, they are the
most amiable brutes i know-much
superior to dogs and certainly vastly
superior as companions to my plebian
(and l thank heaven, dlstant) rela-
ton, the Mule. In sooth, despite the
fact that some may accuse me of
repudiating my own kith and kin, 1
frankly admit that l would far rather
associate with Man than Mule.
While men are more stupid, they at
least know how to keep their distance.
And so it is but natural that I
should feel grateful for the great ex-
hibit of human beings which we
have been viewing. Truly, it was II
fine display! Especially attractive
and interesting were the fillies-girls,
l believe they call them. A biped
filly is apparently the most eccentric
and erratic thing on earth. Judging
from my own observation of them,
there is no telling when they will
get bslky. One moment you see
them whinnying joyously when some
sprightly colt approaches, and the
next second they are backing their
ears and showing the whites of their
eyes when a second young horse
comes up. If a filly gets the wrong
yokemate, she'll kick clean out of
harness and batter the spatterboard
until it looks like the mashed-;n
helmet of Grecian warrior.
So vicious are some of the biped
fllies to whom l allude that the mas
culine thoroughbreds approach them
with the greatest caution, and pru-
IDENTIFY remove the queer, bucket-like
headgear they wear before getting
within range of the fillies' feet.
Furthermore, the better trained hunt
ers invariably dip their heads on
seeing a fiery looking filly, accom-
panied by a richly capsrlsoned dam.
The latter, though they exhibit poor
action and bad gaits and wretched
conformation" as they get on in
years, are hardly less irritable than
the fillies, but their stallmates appear
far less concerned about them than
do the colts about the fillies. How
to account for this do not knox.
While on my way to Richmond,
one of my paddock chums, who claims
to be a lineal descendant of Incitatus,
owner Of the late Emperor Caligula
of Rome, told me great many in
teresting things about the caprices
of biped FLIES and their dams. He
said filly never wanted to be any
thing bat filly and that long after
this class had been turned out to
grass, they still claimed to be two
year-olds. 1t makes them suorting
mad, too, If any of the colts or more
mature hackneys ask to see their
teeth in the hope of thus ascertaining
their age.
My chum, who, besides being a
scion of Incitatus is q collateral kins-
man of Pegascs, owner of the Oft
mentioned god Apollo, also informed
me beforehand that / should be pre-
pared to see some very, very weird
harness On the mares and fillies. He
said that a filly would sell her very
oats to be properly caparisoned and
that whereas the human beings were