davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14
Meanert Man.

The meanest man IN Illinois lives at Cen
tralia. He put a large porcelain egg IA ne
nest of an ambitious hen aud found tnat the
eggs she had atterward aid were increased in
SIZE. Then M put a goose egg IA the nest ::
the aforesaid men LAID an egg Just a. large.
put whitewashed football in the nest and
awaited results When he went the next
time To search for eggs he found one a. b ign
a. a football. hut no hen in sight Securing
the Egg. Ee saw engraved on IT by the hen
photography these words: I'm no ostrica.
but | have done my best Later ne found
the hen inside of tie egg-Leaf River (lll)
Mirror.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14
Why She Rang or.

Telephone mistakes may have their serious
sides. \ man VINO wanted to communicate
with another named Jones looked ia the
directory and then called up a number. Pres.
emily came tarough tAc receiver soit fem
lnlne Hello! ana he asked, who l. that
"Thi> l. Mrs Jones
Have YOU any IDEA where your husband
is"
lie couldn't understand why she rang off -
So Sharply until he looked in the boul, again
and discovered that he had called up the
residence OF widow N. Y Yorker
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

Tho reason y0u can
get this trial free ~ be-
cause fisey cure X idney
ills and will prove IL To
you.
WEST BRAgoH. MIcu 90
"DoaD's X idoey Pills hit the
Csasc. which was an unusual
desire 10 urinate had 90
get up five or six times 81
a night. I think diaietcp
Waa well underway, the
feet ana ankles RJvcllod
There WAS an intense pain
in the hack. tho heat Of
t.lIicb would feel like put
ting ones hand up 60 a
f1tnp chimney. i have
us,d the free trial aud two
full boxes Of Deans Pills
with the satisfaction Of
feeling that I arm cured
They are tho remedy par
excellence
Is. + BALLARD
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14
He Won.

Like other men of prominence. Admiral
Dewey citeu comes across the ire pon> bile
party, VINO always affects To be on terms
OF intimacy with notable persons. Courie-
Gus and genial to degree. the admiral has
profound dislike Tor TINS sort OF nuisance,
and does not hesitate to show the feeling
Not long ago. while out walking IN Wa hing
ton. he was accosted 10y AN ELUSIVE stranger,
VINO grasped his hand and said George,
III bet YOU don't know me- The aCmiral
looked nis Gispeasure a. he answered, grim
lv: "Ncu win. and walked on Detroit Free
Press
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14
A Low Rate To Texas.

October 20th only. the NJ. X. q 4. R'y will
have on sale tickets from ~. Louis nanni.
bal and Kansas City To Texas, Oklahoma and
indian Territory at rate of $1,000 Tor the
round trip, final limi, November 10th.
Rate OF $500 Will also apply from
Cincinnati. 5000 from Chicago. No
one can afford To miss this opportunity of
seeing the great southwestern country IN the
iullness oi it. glory aud prosperity For
further part iculars write George Morton.
G. l.. y I. A.. NJ. *. a 4. Ry., ST I.oui,. Mo.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14
A noctor.. Retart.

Every doctor knows tae man and woman
who cultivate the habit OF aecostins him in
the street and ia the guisc oi ordinary con.
versation TRY To extract tree medical ADVICE
One such inquirer greeted an eminent phN ii.
clan with the remark.
II near fish j. an excellent brain food Do
you think soy
Excellent. Was the reply, but in Your
case u seems pity To waste the fish. Lon.
don Outlook
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14
Promoter. OF Courage.

Spar,acus Womou are a great incentive
TO manly courage.
Smarlicus- 1hat'- right Since I've been
married and uad few tilts with my wife
the prospects of - scrap with the mcancst
man on earth seems like mere child's play
TO me- Baltimore american.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14
Cheaper Than Staying at HON,

The man who wishes TO locate I'M the
Southwest this fall has little excuse for
staying at home. SO far as railroad rates
are concerned. The Santa Fe announces
very low one-way Second-Class rates to Cal
itornia-S}3 from Chicago. S25 from Kan
sas City, $50 from st. Louis and proper
uonatc reductions from the East generally
These tickets are ON sale every day until
November 80. They are being awaited OF
by these wishing to settle in the san
Joaquin and other great valleys q: Cali
lorna, likewise Arizona passengers. The
same Inc also oilers a rate of about half
fare, plus -, one-way or round trip, to
the Southwest generally. the first and third
tuesdays of each month: the last semi
monthly excursion filled every available
car Tn October 20 special bargain coun
ter round trip home seekers rate liz adver-
fused Tor $40 from Chicago. and $50 from
Kansas City to central and eastern Texas
and To Oklahoma. also 50 higher TO Pecos
Valley, of New Mexico.
The mere sghtseer will be more inter
ested IN the excursions to Los Angeles and
San Francisco that are booked on the
Santa Fc the latter part of October, ac-
count American Bankers Association. The
rate then. ont and back. will he SG2 80
IRON Chicago, $50 from Kansas City.
and similarly reduced from other points
Anyone may 90 who has the price in his
pocketbook. Special parties will take in
the Grand Canyon off Arizona on the
way, and will be personally escorted
Those wishing to try an ocean voyage can
extend their trip by Oceanic line steam
or from San Francisco to Hawaii and en-
JOY weeks outing in the isles of peace.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

One o de sad things bout dis life" said
Uncle Eben. rs dat it's so much easier TO
depend on de enmity OF yoh enemies dan on
de friendship OF yoh friends. Washlngi on
fStar
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

thiei loves honesty as a hungry man loves
hIeah' ana Tor the ZANE teason--tLat be feeds
upon tn. %. Times Democrat
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

Benevolent OLD Lady (outside of candy
shoplI"Don't cry. httie boy: come in mere
and ! u buy YOU a stick of candy" Small
trchIn--"Ianks; dat's wot me mudder made
me cry for. She keeps dc store. - Harvard
Lsmpoon.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

Carrie-''l IN sure YOU msjudge Mr.. Sweet
ser papa. lie j. man of great ambitions.
You should hear ham tell OF the thing he j.
gong To do Carries Papa-"ind ! sun.
pose I'm one of EN-: but reckon he'll find
IT harder 10 accomplish than he fancIes IT Is. "
boston TRANSCRIPT
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

Tried 10 skin me. that scribbler did"
"W hat did he want" Wanted 10 get out a
book jointly. he TO write the book and to
write the advertisements | turned him
down. ] wasn't gong 10 do all the literary
work,"-Balt more News
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

Mrs. Ascum-"Y our boy il al college now.
en-? Hes pretty bright. too .n't he :" Mrs
Malal-op Yes. indeed HE professor
Press
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

The Overland Limited, solid tram Chi
cago To the Coast daily. Chicago, Union
Pacific Il North Western Line.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

People whose nerves are ou edge are IL
capable oi cutting mucn Of a figure Chlcag
Journal
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

DE unluckiest man. said Uncle Eben. "is
de one dat sits aroun' buildin castles in de
air when he ought to be patchn' de roof on
&c summer kitchen. -Washingto Star.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

The Chicago s North Western is the onl
double track railway between Chicago an,
the Mis,oupi River.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

Don't you think the public cares for
Shakespeare Yes. answered Mr. Storm
ing:on Barnes, "the public cares Il great Ga al
Tor Shakespeare, and ,eIiously Tesents the
way some OF us actors abuse him. Wash
ingtou Star.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

Marked Down StellG-"But what makes
yon think the duke IL bargain Bella
he y IN reduced circumstance New
York sun
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

June Tint Butter Color makes top of
the market butter
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

George Sand: Nar,:y j. the quicksand O,
reason.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14

Power dw.ls with cheerfulnes.- Elmer
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1903-10-14
RrpubIIcnn PnIiclra snnnh

hfpubifnu PDItrirS SOuuh.
advocates OF republican policies are
sometimes rebuked az being unfairly
partisan in claiming material progress
and prosperity as natural results OF the
enforcement Of such policies. The demo-
cratic free trader does not like to face
the figures which show how the country
has gained in wealth and general vel
fare under the wise protective system
which originated with and has been sus-
tanned by. the republican party. and that
iact IS not surprising since the proof
Is overwhelming Of the fallacy Of his own
lmpracticable and disastrous theories
Llkewise the results OF republican adj
iniristration In imposing judicious re-
strictions upon the liquor traffic. and I'm
devising ways and means Of taxation
which vastly tighten the burden unon
the people at large while apportiopire
the expense Of maintaining the govern
most equitably among those who re-
ceive its benefits. do not furnish inviting
reading TO the opponents OF republican
stale administration But those who are
the gamers by such methods do not com
plain. And the public al large recognizes
the great and important truth thattbere
is an intimate relation between sound
policies Of government and the material
AFFAIRS OF the Deople.-Troy Times.
tTTom Johnson is now mentioned"
as the nominee for vice president on the
democratic ticket Ohio voters will SEQ
to IT that gubernatorial duties will not
compel him to decline the honor-Indi-
annapolis Journal
e|Can it be doubted that much. IL not
most. OF the differences I'm conditions
in the states. can be traced to the good
government in Illinois and Iowa. and the
bad government IN Missouri? And will
not the conclusion be that Missouri's
worst enemy, in a material not less than
in Q political sense. is the democratic
bourbonism by which It has so long beer
dominated?-TroyT imeA
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

one. would be puzzled 10 find such
expressions sof religious nature
delivered by various white minis
tiers of Atlanta, as to justify the
secularizing of the sacred day for
this purpose. The Sabbath is,
the Bible tells us, a. day of rest
from everything of a worldly ma
ture. Even things which have
moral tendency, but which are not
directly connected with divine
worship, should not be discussed
on the day which God commands
to be kept holy. Surely the ques-
tions as to whether or not there is
a negro problem. is the deporta-
ton of this race practicable, is cd
ucatiuu the solution of the prob
lem, are not III any way connected
with the saving of souls and the
worship Of God, and consequently
their discussion upon the Sabbath
was a dissertation Of the day.
These ministers have set a very
bad example for their congrega-
tione, for which these pastors
should be ashamed of themselves.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05
A AELANGE Of LIVE TOPICS
Penned for Journal Readers
by a Local Scribe.
QUALIFIED.

In my article last week Oh com
cts, | made some statements which
should be qualified. The mathe-
NAUTICAL theory is that the happen
ing of the two probable events ls
improbable, regardless of time
which latter element | considered.
Such a thing Is improbable wheth-
er tie events be considered as hap
pening at the same time or at diff
ferent times. If, according to the
nebula hypothesis, comets were
thrown off from the sun passing
beyond the orbit of Neptune and
accidentally coming within the
sphere or attraction of another
sun how almost impossible it is
that they would not either have
fallen upon that sun or becoming
satellites Of 1t instead Of skirting
around the borders of that sun
and then passing off again into
space till they came back to our
sun repeating the same almost
impossible phenomenon with re-
spect to the latter body, and re-
peating the operation indefinitely
between the two suns! But our
sun Is known to be travelling with
speed of which we can hardly
conceive, 50 that comet even of
short period such as seventy-fve
yeals, would unless the other sun
were travelling at the same rate
and in the same direction as our
sun, be quadrillions of miles from
our sun after the comet had ar
rived again at the point in space
from which it was thrown off from
our sun As the comets describ-
ing elllpses of which our sun is
the foci have different periods
that of one of The least being 900
years, they must if the nebula
hypothesis is true have been
thrown off at different times from
our sun or from some other sun
and attracted by our sun. We
would then have series of acct
dents, each of which is almost i'm
possible, repeated a great number
of times. This is incredible.
Whites Astronomy Oittle
Comets" gives the comets which
pass beyond the orbit of Neptune,
those which are supposed to have
very long periods of revolution,
and those which pass very near
the sun. 1t is stated that the
comet of 1911 has period Of 3, O65
years, Donatis comet period of
1000 years and the great comet of
1913, 175 years. The last comet
came within 100000 miles of the
sui and received from it such heat
that one-twentieth of it would
have melted agate. 1t leceded to
a distance of four hundred billions
of miles.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

According to the Albany Argus
in a whole year "only one person
was killed on the railways of Great
Britain, while S45 were killed and
II ,162 injured in three months on
American lines" The reason for
the wide difference in the two
records, the paper says, is plain /:
cit is much mere serious mat
ter to kill a person on an English
railroad than it is in America. "
If it sh ould be made little more
serious to kill a person on an
American railroad is quite prob
able that there would be fewer
such cases reported
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05
CHUCK ANDERSON, Proprietor

THE best of Vehicles, tpe safest of dr.,
vers and the fastest of horses are always
ready, night and day for hire. No man
or woman or child ever has givenme a
call in the past, wLo has been, nor shall
any ever in the future be dissatisfied
with my teams or the men in my employ.
Everything and every body about me are
a number one.
l have Sheapened my charges proper.
tionate to the stringency of the times,
For references as to the truth Of what !
say, as to the turnouts and charges, ge
to my friends, which means the people
generally.
Parties hiring are strictly responsible
for the safety of themselves, vehicles and
horses
J.A. G.. ANDERSON.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05
z
PROBABLE.

According to the Atlanta Jour
nal the Staboard Air Line and the
A. K & n. railways will run into
Atlanta on the same or parallel
tracks from Marietta, and the A.
K. d N, will build into Chatta-
nooga, The writer has before pre-
dicted this and as it is said that
engineers are at Ellijay, the report
is probably true. The w. & A.
should be sold while it has some
value. r. Victor
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05
FACETAE.

The play now going on at the
Grand III Atlanta has often Bel
Hur'd and seen elsewhere but this
is the first presentation in Atlanta.
1t is a fine play but TO those who
expect to attend without buying
tickets at the box office in advance,
III Lew thereof intending to buy
them of spectators:
Wal, lace up your purse strings
or one Of these agents will get his
Klaw upon you which will make
al Hanger for him at the price he
will charge you.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

SLOUGH OF DESPOND.

Bunyan in the "Pilgrim's Prog
ress speaks of the Slough of Des-
pond, vast quagmire through
which the road to the Celestial
City lay, and which endangered
the lives of the travellers thereon.
Attempts to improve it by throw
ing IN cart loads of dirt only made
it worse. Wonder if Bunyan had
in his mind while comp using his
immortal allego:y, the space
around the square and the streets
of Marietta, and the plan adopted
to improve them. These public
places are certainly enough to
make the people of this town de-
spondent in wet weather. IL is to
be greatly hoped that the council
can see its way clear to make ut
least beginning IN the way Of
giving us macadamized streets
with stone curbings. 1t there are
difficulties in the way it would be
good plan to submit this matter
together with the proposition to
have municipal ownership OF sew
ers and waterworks to the PEOPLE
at special election. The city
should not own It's electric light
plant as electricity can be OBJ
tanned more cheaply and reliably
from the Bull Sluice plant when
completed. Motive power for OPP
Grating public waterworks can be
obtained from Bull Sluice, saving
coal bulls, hauling or branch
line of railway, besides expensive
batteries of boilers, duplicate en-
gines, wages ofan expert engineer,
etc. Under these conditions the
town can build and operate very
reasonably a waterworks plant,
and II some steps are not taken
LOW to rectify present conditions
very likely these questions will be
the paramount ones at the next
nAhlclpal election.
M avn must be delivered from
u sic braling open sewers, typhoid
I'd dge all muddy streets.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

They have discovered another
Klondike i'll Alaska. richer, if any
thing than the original. 1t de.
ve'ops more and more every year
that the United States got some
thing besides icebergs and polar
bears when we purchased Alaska.
In all probability time and energy
will develop the richest gold mines
IN the world in that territory.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

What an easy thing it is for
most of us to See other people,
faults 1t would be pleasant
thing if in inspecting our friends
and neighbors we sought out the
sparkle instead of the gloom.
When there is so much hunting
as 1T were, on our own ground.
why should We, with rife and
dog, spend so much time securing
our neighbours lowlands? Alas /!
the manifold imperfections of
other people will be the death of
some of us yet. What a clean
city we would have if every one
washed his own, Nor steps!
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

1t appears now that there will
be nine oil mills in operation next
fall in this section with radius
of 30 miles, as follows: One at
Bold Spring, one at Roytson, two
at Lavonia, one at Martin, one at
Toccoa, one at Maysville, and
two at Harmony Grove. This
means regular tussle for seed in
this section, which is good for the
farmer.-Harmony Grove Citizen.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

1t is claimed that in regions
where there is much fruit con-
sumed there is less desire for alco-
hollc stimulants. If this be true
we know of some people that
should live in a region where there
ls nothing but fruit to consume.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

Another terrific eruption of
Colima volcano is reported, and
dispatches from Mexico City sta te
that the inhabitants throughout
surrounding country are terroriz-
ed and fleeing from their homes
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

What a delightful old world
this would be if all men were as
perfect as they think their neigh
bOrs should be
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

Secretary Cortelyou now has a
soft berth He has been made
Secretary of Commerce and Labor,
a new department which was
created recently by an act Of Con-
eress.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

Col. w. G. Obear, inspector
general of the Georgia State
Troops, is going to Washington
next week to urge upon the score
tary of war the advisability of
having the encampment of the
state troops this year at. Griffin.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

DR.. S. w. Roberts has resigned
the Presidency of the Wesleyan
Female College, Macon.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

The United States has three new
ships in course of construction.
We can build ships just as many
and as fast as Germany can!
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

There are two-classes of men in
the world-those who make fools
of themselves and those who don t
have to.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

Judge Henry B. Tompkins, of
Atlanta, is dead.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05
proven Us

When the butter won't
come put a penny in the
churn," is an old time dairy
pr0vcrb. 1t often seems to
work though no one has ever
told why.
When mothers arc worried
because the children do not
gain strength and flesh We
say give them SCOTS Emul-
son.
1t is like the penny in the
milk because it works and
because there is something
astonishing about it.
SCOTS Emulsion is simply
a milk of pure cod liver oil
with some hypophosphites
especially prepared for delicate
stomachs.
Children take to it naturally
because they like the taste
and the remedy takes just as
naturally to the children be-
cause it is SO perfectly adapted
to their wants.
For all weak and pale and
thin children SCOTS Emulsion
is the most satisfactory treat
mcnt.
The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1903-03-05

Here he is!
This is him!
The Single Man!
The Lumber Dealer
The Contractor!
The House Builder!
The man that keeps
The largest and
The best stock Of
Building Material
In the city.
Prompt delivery!
The Undertaken and
Only Licensed
Emba1ner in the city.
TELEPHONES:
Office No. 81.
Residence No. 1870.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-05-20
. -l-I --- 1-9- a-llll J z7- 9a- s9 2 IS ANYTHING ' DOING21

Some time has elapsed since the gov ernor offered a reward of $5,OOO for the apprehension of the murderers of Po- liceman Paul Mendelssohn of Water bury who was killed during the street car strike, on March 8. No arrests have been made for that crime, though sev- eral were made for a previous assault upon a car.
 The ways of detectives are rightly mysterious and they do not send ad- vance notices of their movements, but there is pardonable interest, in the question, is the hunt in Waterbury leading to anything definite? Are the detectives still at work? Are the large rewards that were offered helping to ferret out the guilty ones?7 mnr
 The campaign against the men who killed that policeman should not be abated until every possible clue has been traced and every possible string has been pulled.-Hartford Post.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-05-20
For American Tars In London.

LONDON, May 2O.-The Prince and Princess of Wales opened the new Sail ors' palace in London, erected at cost of $18O,OO0 by the British and Foreign Sailors society. A large number of American women were present and handed purses to the princess for the fitting up of the American room. The United States ambassador, MT. Joseph H. Choate, in seconding a vote of thanks to the Prince of Wales empha- sized the interest which Americans took in this society. The American wo- men of London, he said, never lost an opportunity of showing public spirit in all such causes. They were glad to have been able to fit up in the name of the United States an American room, where the American sailor will al- ways find himself at home and be gladdened by the sight of our glorious flag, the stars and stripes