The San Francisco call., 1903-12-28
INSTRUCTIVE JTUDEg
By lNO1EDAAENL AND
INSS)f1EN
you VIII love more deeply than you
have loved before.
Cure for Family Jars.

What about the man who is master
full and domineering? How is his wife
TO treat him?
If she would not lose her own and
her husbands respect she will not
quarrel, will not scoId. will not nag. She
need not resort to means which are be-
meath the dignity of a refined woman.
Let the wife appreciate that she is
her husbands equal. his friend, his
partner-not his slave nor his toy She
must also have such love for him that
when an issue of no import arises and
he asks in a kind, cOnsiderate way that
he have things as he wishes them. she
viii gladly yield 10 his desires. 1t is a
safe rule for married life that, except
in a matter of principle. if one must
yield it should be the wife. But let her
dc it through love. not through slavish
obedience, and let it be only in mat
ters in which the man has a right to
make demands.
The main point is not what is asked
by the man, but how it is asked We
have not so much 10 do with the matter
Of the demand as with the manner Of
it, Every dutiful wife has the right to
exact courteous manner and gentle
manly speech from her husband.
To attain this end she will discourage
at the outset any rough language. One
bride within month of her marriage
showed with gentle dignity that she
would allow nothing but courteous
treatment from her liege lord. They
were entertaining a few friends in their
new home. The bride made a statement
which the husband cOntradicted. She
hesitated a minute, then said gently:
John. think that was the way that
happened. ! may, however, be mis-
taken"
The savage, latent in every man,
sprang-as is frequently the case, with
out sufficient cause-to the front.
Mistaken! You are not only mis-
taken. but you are talking like a fool"
The thoroughbred wife controlled
all evidence of agitation except her
rising color Tactfully changing the
subject, she chatted pleasantly on until
the last guest had departed. Then, as
her husband. forgetful of what had
happened, and quite his usual good
uatured self again, turned to her with
a smiling remark, she said quietly:
John. dear, there is a little matter
1 want to talk to you about Sit down,
please. here on the sofa, by me-"
And as he, wondering at her gravity,
followed her suggestion, she continued:
Dear. you know that ] love you, and
that I would bear anything that was
necessary for you. But there is one
unnecessary thing that 1 cannot prom
ise TO bear, and that is rudeness. 1
am not used to it. l married a gentle
man. not bOor. So, John, dear, you
must not speak to me again as you did
tonight, if / am TO continue to love
you and respect you. You and 1 are
equals husband and wife, not master
and slave 1 know you did not mean
what you said But you cannot say
such things to me. l could not resent
it where our guests were. But it cut
me-and, dear, it disappointed me.
am sure. knowing this. you will not
make that mistake again"
Being a gentleman, he never did.
Had he not been a gentleman at heart,
he might have answered brutally In
which case, silence on the part of the
wife would have been the only wise
course. She should then have waited
until some more propitious time before
speaking again of the matter, or. had
the offense never been repeated not
mentioned it again.
But most men are gentlemen, if
treated as such. If a woman is uni
formly courteous to man, he is-un-
less under ell his polish, of the stuff
of which beasts are made-usually cour-
teous to her. This being true, she will
pxrarlnnlr &c
ritability, and meet them with the
silence that is golden. Not with a sulky
silence, but with the gentle quiet that
seems to throw a mantle of charity
over his i'll humor and condone it be-
, cause it is such an unusual thing.
/ Then, when oportunity offers. in other
words, when her husband pauses in
his complaints. she will cheerfully talk
Of something else and distract his at
tention from the point at issue.
But suppose he is at heart the beast
above suggested. Only one course re-
mains. When wifely tact, love and
pleading, followed by judicious silence,
have availed naught, let the wife sys-
tematically set about learning not to
care.
see the. shudder of shocked dismay
with which the model matron meets
this suggestion. But / still maintain
my stand. When wife has done her
duty toward her husband-failing in
nothing that can make him happy and
comfortable-and he still treats her
brutally, complains continually, is per
versely unjust to her and eternally
nags at her. let her summon all her
tact TO avoid occasions for 1.-THE enemy
TO blaspheme, continue to do her duty
and then gather up what is left of her
life. There is something in life besides
husband and husbands approval.
First. and above all else with which
God blesses women, there are the chill
dren. Let our disappointed wife live for
them and in them. Let her allow the
side of her heart with which she would
! grieve over her husbands injustice be
so full of that which is worth all of life
that she cannot take time to brood over
| her great sorrow. She still owes the
man her duty, her fidelity and, if she
| be a good woman, she will pay what
] she owes to the uttermost farthing, but
let her not cast her pearls of love .and
| feeling before swine. or waste her
| hearts blood upon that which profteth