davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
INVITATIONS TO THE wEDolNo
Woes Of the Man Who Gets One and
and What Il Costs-

A wedding invitation is practically
an admission ticket, costing $40. to
the church service: reception at the
house afterward, extra; cards to the
Mt home. more extra.
When a man gets an invitation
nowadays he feels as he does when
he has been served with subpoena.
He sputters about the idiocy of mar
rage In general, and wonders why in
thunder. or somewhere else where
thunder is unknown. those little fools
didn't Just stand up and get married
and get 1t over with. Then when he
calms down he is inveigled into maxi
ing an appointment with his wife at
some jewelers.. There he is met with
bewildering array of silver trowels,
meat saws and miniature pitchforks,
which his learned wife explains to
him are fish knives. lettuce servers
and berry forks. respectively.
Then, as his eyes wander about the
store, he spies a golden ball, perfor-
ated with fancy holes, and he ven
lures the facetious remark to his wife
that they might take time by the fore
lock and send that baby's rattle.
Which is met by the chilling rejoin-
der that that" is a tea ball. and it is
just the very thing. And 50 the man
hands over the necessary and his wife
directs where the golden tea ball shall
be sent.
The feelings of a strong. healthy
man being required to attach his card
to a dinky tea ball and send II to a
young couple as a mark of his good
wishes fail either OF expression or de-
scription.-lnsuranc Press.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
Bad Luck.
Instructor

The Guaranteed-Success Instructor
looked puzzled.
81 hardly understand" he said, at
last. You are young, enterprising,
sober. Industrious, and yet have not
succeeded. Did you start at the bot
tom of the ladder?"
Yes" replied the False Alarm in
the business world, "but-but-''
We'll, wnat?"
Il walked under 1t before l got my
foot on the bottom round"
Throwing up both hands, the in
structor shook his head. I'VE have
no means of lifting hoodoos," said he.
I'VE give up your case.
Commercial Tribune.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
What Everybody Says.

LouIsvILLE, KY
For a year or more
! have been suffering
with severe pains in
the small Of my bnck
apl kidneys ; had
tried a number of
remedies but without
relief. l decided to
try Doan's Kidney
Pills, and purchased
two boxes, and am
glad to state that
after taking the two
boxes of pills | was
relieved OF all pnins.
and have not been
troubled since. Prior
to taking these pills
1t was impossible for
me to get a full
nights sleep. but | am
not experiencing any
difficulty in this re-
spect now. = Yours
truly, Jous Z. kRA-
MKR, 2i23 W. Main
$ tire ct. foreman
American Tobacco
Col
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

CHICAGO, Ill. -
When l received the
sample OF Doan's
Kidney Pills | was
suffering terribly with
my back, WIS sick and
unfit to do anything.
The several remedies
l had used, though
highly recommended,
did no good, but
rather irritated tn Q
trouble and made me
worse. Before ] had
used up the sample |
was feeling SO much
better that / got more
from the drug store.
/ could not sleep at
night. Had TO get up
six or eight times, and
the urine was so red,
would almost think
1t was part blood =
therewa athick sand,
like brick-dust sedi-
mcnt. / cannot tell
one-half that l suf-
fered, nor how good
| feel now that ! am
cured by Doan's Kid
ney Pills but here l
am, sixty-six years
old, able to do my
own work. feeling
well as / did twenty
years ago, for which /
thank Doan's Kidney
Pills ten thousand
times. = Mrs. +. T.
GOULD. 9i4 W. Lake
Street. Doan's Pills
cure when 9th ere
fail
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

Two figures were flying through the
air.
the rickety bridge in safety, only to
see loom before them an ominous
curve. with a stone wall guarding a
small farm. There was crash. and
next instant two figures were flying
through the air.
A week later Nell awolSe at the far
away sound OF a little voice. "Auntie
my own auntie. won't speak to me
tall" It said. and then there was the
sound of bitter sobs.
Slowly Nell opened her eyes.
whats the matter Ducky?" she
asked family.
"O!" with a soft squeal of delight
"you isn't dead, and amt muir
derous- Jane said was a murderous;
cause wished the mobile would run
away, an It did. but | didn't mean 1t.
really, Auntie Nell" and Delta snug
gied her little face close TO the white
one on the pillow. Jerry got hurted.
but not SO bad as you. He only
breaIxed his leg. an Ito In white
stone thing"
There. there. you murt not talk any
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
Reformed.

Mrs. Mahoole-shure. that Uncle
Toms Cabin" made good boy out
av me Micky.
Mrs. oToole-oi'm glad to hear
thot.
Mrs Mahoole-Yis. ut gave him a
tinder heart. Phoy, wud yez blave ut,
whin he cum out av tn gallery he
troid to murder six kids that laifed
whin Little Eva" doied."
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
Why There Are So Many masons.

little girl tells what she knows
about King Solomon in the following
essay: king Solomon was a man
who lived ever so long ago and in the
country in which he governed he was
the whole thing. King Solomon built
Solomon's Temple and was the father
OF all the Masons. He had 700 wives
and 200 lady friends and that is why
there are so many Masons in the
world"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
Correction.

But you must admit" said the
masculine end of the controversy
that woman is the weaker vessel"
''I'll admit nothing of the Sort" re-
Joined the contrary female. "Thc
mere fact that she seldom has to be
bailed out Is proof to the contrary"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
Every one who uses Doan's Kidney
pills free trial has a good word
to say for them that's
why they are most
prominent In the
public eye.

Aching backs are eased. Hip, back, and
loin pains overcome. Swelling of the
limbs and dropsy signs vanish.
They correct urine with brick dust sedi-
ment, high colored, excessive, pain in pass-
ing. dribbling, frequency, bed wctting.
Doan's Kidney Pills dissolve and remove
calculi and gravel. Relieve heart palpita-
tion, slceplessness, headache nervousness.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
In the Good Old LINES.

Caller-Your grandpa must be a
very old man, isn't he, Rudolph?
Little Rldolph-I should saw so.
Why, he remembers when parents
used to take their little boys out in
the woodshed to lick them.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
This WIN interest Mothers.

Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Child
rem, used by Mother Gray, nurse in
Childrens Home, New York. Cure Fever
move and regulate the bowels and destroy
Worms. Sold by all Druggists 25c Sample
FREE. Address A. s. Olmsted, Leroy, NY.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

Dealers say that as soon as a Gus
toner tries Defiance Starch 1t is i'm
possible to sell them any other cold
water starch. 1t can be used cold
or boiled.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
Dancer In Lead Pencils.

An epidemic of diphtherla in the
schools of Passaic. N. J.. is said to
have resulted from the promiscuous
use OF lead pencils.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
The Hour Of Death

The greatest number OF deaths take
place. not Just after midnight. as popu-
larry supposed, but between and 6
o'clock In the morning.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

Storekeepers report that the extra
quantity, together with the superior
quality of Defiance Starch makes it
next to impossible to sell any other
brand.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

Say. mamma" queried little Elsie
what Is stag party?' Stag. my deai
is an abbreviation of stagger" reptile
the knowing mother.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
Aberdeen. WASH. :

Aberdeen. WASH. =
/ had a bad pain in
my back ; / could
hardly walk or sit
down. l could not
write for sample. but
got n hfty-cent box
OF druggist, and they
have made me all
right. No other med
icIne did me any
good. = AUG. CARL
tos. IS lst ST., East.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

Scientists now assert that people sleer
one piece at time. In other words
when they think they are sleeping In
peace they are sleeping in pieces.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

Piso's curo is the best medicine we ever used
for ali affections OF the throat and lungs.-WM
o. ESpsLEY. vanburen. Ind. Fob. 10. 1904
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

He-Are you superstitious? she-Not
bit. He-Well, then. | can make a clean
breast Of 1t. You are my thirteenth bride.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

Wigg-He's rather dense, isn't he
point of a Joke II he sat down on it,
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

A butter maker uses Mexican dog n.
his trade mark. to indicate that his but
ter is hairless
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

Look for this Trade Mark. ''The Klean, Koo
Kitchen Kind" The stoves without smoke
ashes or heat. Make comfortable cooking
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

It's bad enough for a man to have al
smpediment in his speech but worse t.
have one in his wits.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

The Chicago millionaire who offers 81
eo.e0 for an ideal servant girl is quite
as likely 10 get one as the servant would
be who offered 81 100000 for an ideal mill
ionaIre
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

1T beats ail'' how good a cigar you car
buy for 2 cents u you buy the right brand
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

Many a man rushes franticaiiy to his
uncle after saying farewell to his ante.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

A gold brick is not usually a gilt
edged Investment
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

One swallow doesn't make a summer
but too many pulls at the bait jug may
bring a fall.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

One swallow doesn't make a spring
but one grasshopper can.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

All creameries use butter color.
Why not do as they do-use JUNE
TINT BUTTER COLOR.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

To Cure n Cold in One day.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets AL
druggists refund money IL itfails to euro. 25c
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

II you have smoked Bullhead 5-cent
cigar you know how good they are: n
You have not. better try one.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

A smile OF satisfaction goes with one of
Baxter's "Bullhead' scent cigars.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

A lawn. dress Is very appropriate for a
grass widow.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21
Halls catarrh Cure

Is taken internally. Price, rs
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-05-21

Smoke Raxter.s ..RuIlhead" s-cent cigar
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-11-01

To all appearances Mir. c. W. Hopkins was enjoying perfect health when he cane up for life insurance examination. A prominent figure in the tobacco industry of the country, general Western agent of large manufacturers MT. Hopkins Is per haps the best known tobacco man in the West. He applied for policy of $l00OO in the Mutual Life Insurance Company of New~ York. confident that it would be is- sued to him.
 He first learned that he had kidney trouble when the agent of tke company wrote him that he was rejected on account of Brights disease It came like a thun- der clap out of a clear sky. "I, Bright g I had kidney trouble. There % were no signs of it and yet here I am in the very worst stage. It has simply crept on. saturating my whole system with Its deadly poison wholly unknown to me-.
 Though Mir. Hopkins sought relief in- stantly, consulting the best medical au- thorities, h'6 grew rapidly worse and was finally given up to die. friend suggested that he take Warmers Safe Cure and nothing else.
 After using 1t through several months, MT. Hopkins was restored to perfect the Mutual Life Insurance Company IN HIS LETTER HE SAYS: "In 1884 I was refused a policy in the Mutual Life Insurance Company of New York. on account of kidney trouble which soon after became so severe that I was CUmpollCu lO Idh0 lO my Deu. employed the best doctors, who diagnosed my trouble as a case of Brights disease and pronounced it tncurable. giving me but one year to live. My sufferings were ter ribIe and reduced me almost to a skele- ton. After spending over $1 300 in vain att tempts to find relief was urged to try Warmers Safe Cure. Incredulous, but on the principle that drowning men clutch at straws. I did so, and was surprised and rejoiced to find that 1t was working a radical, cure which has long since been effected. SAFE CURE brought health and life insurance to me. Today carry a policy in the Mutual Life Insurance Com pany and consider myself as healthy a man as is to be found in this particularly healthy country."-C. W. HOPKINS, General Western Agent s. F. Hess & Co.,, 4O5 Battery Street. San Francisco. Thousands of men and women have kid ney disease and never know it until the danger point has been reached. They go on dying by inches until the sudden col lapse comes. The kidneys are the weak
 est organs of the body yet they have the
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-11-01
TO HAVE ASSOCIATION
sUPERINTENDENTs OF SCHOOLS
 PREPARE PLANS.
Meeting Held in Montgomery De
 cides to Call Educators Together Late in December to Perfect An Organization.

The meeting of the special committee of town and county Superintendents of Schools, held yesterday at the New Mab- son Hotel endorsed the movement for a State Association and issued a call for an organization meeting to be held De- cember 2S and 9 in Birmingham or Mont gomery.
 A program for the first meeting was ar- | ranged by the Superintendents who were in the city, but its details were not made public and 1t cannot be announced until th,se whose names are on the program have been heard from. The full purposes and scope of the organization will not be developed until the organization meeting adopts its constitution and bylaws.
 At the meeting yesterday there were present the following Superintendents: I. W. Hill, Montgomery; W. E. Striplin, Gadsden; D. R. Murphy, Anniston; J. P. Selman. Troy: P. w. Hodges. Greenville: E. J. Murphy. Union Springs: George White, Jr., Prattville and E. H. Murphy. Hayneville.
 The special committee which has so far had the matter in charge. was composed of Messrs. Phillips of Birmingham. Sel- man of Troy, and Murphy of Anniston. Superintendent Phillips of Birmingham.
 was unable to be present Professor Sel- man of Troy, presided over the meeting
 which was held at 10 o'clock yesterday morning.
 In the general discussion the proposed State Association of Town and City Su- perintendents was unanimously endorsed as a practical means of raising the stand ard of city schools. The proposed Asso- citation embodies association and union
 with an interchange of views and ideas
 on methods. It was decided that the or ganization meeting should be held in the Christmas holidays so that more school men would be able to attend.
 Alter the program for the meeting had been made out an adjournment was taken.
 Most of the out-of-town superintendents left last night for their homes.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-11-01
The NewC of Mobile.

ize barrels flour. general merchandise; value of cargo, $161.
 Norwegian steamship Fort Gaines, for Bocas del Toro. 24,00O superficial feet pine lumber, 15O barrels flour, general mer- chandise: value of cargo, $3749. British steamship Meridian for Liver pool. 9S1S bales cotton, (square), 1000 bales cotton (round); value of cargo, $530, 66S
 Exports to Cuba for the week, not in- cluded in above:
 Cuban steamship Mobla. for Havana, HIS pounds harness and saddlery, 1 bar rel rosin, cases canned meats, 15 half barrels corned beef 9l tierces ham, 32 cases salt pork. 465 packages lard, 137 cases sausage, 14,32O pounds salt meat, S03 pounds truwan, 30250 superficial feet pine lumber, S2,3S4 pounds woodenware. $34, ,iS9. American schooner Emma Cottingham, for Havana. 35S,3S7 superficial feet pine lumber: value of cargo. A.659 American schooner Villa Y Hcrmana for Havana. 959 superficial feet pine lumber; value of cargo. $3.555.
 American brig John IT. Brandon for Matanzas, 32S,541 superficial feet pine lumber. Value of cargo &.7l7.
 Imports for the same period were as follows:
 American steamship Rio Grande from 4N'W Apl h' 'tuV pft'hhkSS
 Norwegian steamship Alliance from Belize. 1000 punches bananas.
 Norwegian steamship Nedenes from Santiago; 2l3 mahogany logs; 900,00O pounds manganese ore.
 British schooner Attractor from Cay men Brac, 10000 cocoanuts. zoo pounds old metal.
 Norwegian steamship Spiro from Belize. 17.O00 punches bananas.
 Cuban steamship Mobila from Havana, 1S2 packages leaf tobacco. 2J drums crude gycerine, 9 packages machinery, 50 pack ages fruit.
 Norwegian steamship Hiram from Puerto Cortez; SoOO punches bananas, 100000 cocoanuts.
 Norwegian steamship Fort Gaines from Bocas del Toro. 22,OOO punches bananas.
 Norwegian steamship Dabyorg from Progresso, 1.40O bales sisal.
 Norwegian steamship Habil from Puer- to Cortez 12,0O0 punches bananas.
 Yesterday afternoon after a success full voyage the new two masted fishing schooner Virginia Lyons of the Mobile Fish and Oyster Companys fleet. a new vessel. arrived up to this port. The Vir- ginia Lyons Captain J. R. Clark. was built for the company at Essex, Mass, by A. D. Story. She is S1 feet inches over all (custom house measurement "A feet inches, lJ12 rect breadth or beam, g feet depth of hold, F feet draft uced), and 57.31 registered tons The vessel sail ed from Essex. Mass. Oct. 3, and took on ice at Gloucester. Mass She arrived off the Island of Tortugas in the Gulf of Mexico, after clear voyage of fourteen days. Captain Clark then made catch of 2,5O0 snappers on the snapper banks and made the run home to the new port of the Virginia Lyons While encounter ing several stiff blows on the run down the Atlantic coast. the Lyons. said Cap tain Clark. made an average of eleven knots per hour. This vessel is said by those competent to speak, to be the pret- ticst model in the entire fleet of the Mobile Fish and Oyster Company. An other new schooner is being built at Essex for this company. and is expected to be completed and ready for the winter catch.
 Marriage licenses were issued to white
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-11-01
WARNER'S SAFE CURE
 Is Life Insurance.

It not only prolongs life but preserves health.
 harmful drugs. This Is why doctors pre- scribe it. and hospitals use it exclusively. It is free from sediment and pleasant to take It is a most valuable and effective tonic; stimulates digestion, and awakens the torpid liver.
 Inflammation and irritation, tones up and heals the enfeebled organs, builds mp the body. gives it strength and restores en- ergy.
 Thousands of men and women are re- fused insurance every week. 90 per cent. have ever been rejected by any insur- ance company do as MT. Hopkins did. take Safe Cure, and then go back again to the company for examination and you will get your policy. But do 1t now. Don't wait. MT. Hopkins did. until he had thrown away small fortune on worthless med!- cine and treatment. SAFE CURE IS AB- SOLUTELY THE ONLY COMPLETE, SAFE AND PERMANENT CURE FOR ALL DISEASES OF KIDNEY, LIVER, test of 50 years.
 You can buy Safe Cure at any drag store, ordirect, 50 cents and S1 % a bottle NhLYSISFREE If est ypu dhaSf haSe the s slight, development of the disease in your sys- tenn. send sample of your urine to inc medical department. Warmers Safe Cure Co. Rochester N Y, and our doctors will analyze 1t and send you a reDort with advice and an interesting medical booklet, free of charge.
 Beware of so-called Kidney Cures which are full of sediment and of bad odor- they are positively harmful and do not cure.
 WARMERS SAFE PILLS move the bowels gently and aid d speedy cure.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-11-01
Advertiser Bureau,

Mobile, Oct. 31.
 George B. Enholm one of Mobiles most highly respected citizens. died today at the family home, 25S State Street, after a brief illness. Mir. Enholm was 6l years old. native of New Bedford, Conn, but had lived here since his fifth year. He was an honored member of Mobile Lodge 67, Knights of Pythias. Alabama No. |, Odd Fellows. A. o. '. w., and Camp Raphael Semmes. No. Il. U. c W.
 MT. Enholm at the outbreak of the war between the States went to the front in the 24th Alabama Infantry, Manigoult' S Brigade. At the close of the war he was acting Adjutant General MT. Enholm was an exemplary citizen, and for nearly twenty years coupled an important posi- tion with the Mobile and Ohio Railroad. He leaves besides his wife. three sons. Osborne. George and Sam Enholm of Mo bile. and one daughter, Mrs H. N. Grubbs of Eutaw, Ala, all of whom were at the deathbed. The remains will be inferred in Magnolia Cemetery tomorrow with the funeral honors of the several organiza- tlons to which he belonged. The funeral will take place from St. Johns Episcopal Church, of which deceased was a mem- hor.
 MT. and Mrs. John P. McGinnes have the sympathy of many friends in the loss of their little daughter. Anne F., which occurred today at the family home, 3lg South Conception Street.
 The remains of Mrs. Kate Byrne were inferred in the Catholic Cemetery today, the funeral services being held in the cathedral, Rev Father Shaw officiating. The pail bearers were Frank Petrinovitch, Thomas Daly, Frank Paliser, Whiting Ames and Robert McAlier.
 In the Circuit Court today. Judge An derson heard argument in the quo-war- ranto proceedings of the State of Ala bama vs. Jules A. Afford, Judge of the Inferior Civil and Criminal Court, jointly with the case of James T. Duggan vs J. o. Simms, Justice of the Peace. These cases are to test the constitutionality of a law enacted by the last General As- sembIy giving Judge Afford civil iurisdic- ton and virtually abOllshng Justices of the Peace in Mobile County. Judge An derson reserved his decision
 Despite the slight retarding in the load ing of careoes on outgoing vessels. the exports for the week were almost up to the average. There are many vessels in port just now and as rapidly a berth Is vacated by one vessel another glides in and proceeds to take on a cargo. Ex- ports for the week to noon today were as follows:
 Norwegian steamship Telefon for Coatz- acoIcas. 5O bales cotton. 14S.551 superficial feet lumber 2O962 superficial feet creo- soted pine lumber. 60096 superficial feet crossties. general merchandise; value of cargo. $9O5j.
 Norwegian steamship Fort Morgan, for Bocas del Tnro, general merchandise valued at $2120.
 Norwegian steamship Brigton. for Bo- cas del Toro. general merchandise valued at $1 .O6s
 American steamship Rio Grande. for New York Oo0 bales cotton. 6O,1O0 super fcial feet pine lumber, 165 packages mer- chandIse: value moi given. Norwegian bark Ashby Maid, for Ros- ario. 6g1. .456 superficial feet pine lumber; value of cargo &3-@
 Norwegian steamship Alliance for Be-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-11-01

Our MT. Gassenheimer has gone East for the purpose of making ad- ditional clothing purchases. This is the first time in the history of our business career, which has covered a period of 25 years, that it has been necessary to go to the market in mid-season to replenish our clothing stock.
 This unusual display of confidence on the part of the buying public is certainly appreciated by us, and it naturally spurs us on to better eff forts. Capitol Clothing Store.