The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-08-01
THE NONPAREIL MAN

Mr. Jones collected several dozen eggs,
carefully "blew them and filed the inte-
rior Of the shells with dynamite. He then
covered the holes in the ends very care
fully with white court-plaster. This he
again glazed over with the white of an egg
that the snake might have no suspicion of
the terrible crime he was committing
against his own peace Of mind in swallow
ing the loaded egg.
One night he placed the eggs around
very freely, and the snakes came as usual
and, finding eggs on tap, they swallowed
them all. During the next day explosions
were heard all over the farm whenever
snake knocked himself against rock, I'M
til, Mr.. Jones says, it sounded like minute
guns fired to celebrate the birthday of
some great character in our country's
early history.
OF course, every snake that Knocked"
was blown into thousand pieces, andNin
fact the reptiles were SO nearly extermi-
mated that Mr.. Jones has had no trouble
since.
Now, what do you think Of that?
The Mexican peon is said to have an in
terminable song for every occasion. Each
song has grown from time to time, many
singers adding stanzas as the inspiration
seized them. The following is a typical
courtship song, translated by traveller
I was calling on a ranchera.
The poor girl -
Did not expect me to propose. -
I seized her hand, 4
She commenced to tremble.
Let me go; here comes my MOTHER
For fear that she will scold Us.
Tomorrow morning
I am going down to get water, 5...
am going down to give you my answer
| S'~t seized her hand,
- She commenced to cry,
Let me co. here comes my mother,
Lest she may scold us.
The song meanders along thru half
| tropical night, describing the vicissitudes
of the courtship, every stanza ending in
| the expression of fear of the maternal
tongue In this country father is sup
| posed to inspire the fear in the youthful
| breast but if che facts were honestly told
the same trouble is experienced here as in
Mexico.
| A st. Louis DOCTOR speaking Of the pope
and his wonderful vitality and long life,
| says that it is due to the fact that he
never took a vacation, in other words, to
| the great regularity Of his life. People
| who make an annual fight to the seashore
or the mountains are bound to succumb to
| the strain of the strenuous life in the long
run. OF course Lake Minnetonka is diff
ferent. That delightful resort is a combi-
| nation OF work ana vacation thdt Ills the
bill without the usual resultant wear and
tear. The case of the pope is certainly
remarkable. For twenty five years he was
| "a prisoner in the vatican Of course he
was not locked up in a cell, and the vati-
can has large, open grounds within its
wall. There was plenty Of room for exer-
else and air. So there is in the city.
There are the parks and the country back
of US in the suburbs, and there are the
back yards. Vacations are indeed delu-
sion and a snare, for
: .! ***7 p? !! 81 ~ III! 2876 1234567S90!
Just as we were writing the above a
well and favorably known local millionaire
came into the office and inquired for the
Nonpareil Man. We were dragged out OF
out retirement. The millionaire said:
II have been reading your column to a
, sick friend to take up his mind. He is
| dead now! But never mind about that
What called for was this. I have seer
the owners of your paper and secured fol-
you later on in the year vacation Of two
weeks. Here's my check for $4,000. &C
away for a while and enjoy yourself
P. S.-Kind friends have been throwing
; water on us and we have come to. Was il
a dream?