New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-09-04
LETTERS OF AN OLD MAID.
TO A MARRIED WOMAN

Dear Edith. You don't write 70 ne except az eE-
aggerated intervals but that Is supposed 70 b one
OF the privileges OF married life. well n bus-
ness life and various other forms OF human exist
ence. Correspondence is on the decline. this we
have heard since the DAYS when our grandpa rents
wrote horniIles and essays 20 their adniring rela-
instead OF sending them 10 the public prints
Letters TO the Editor" The latter process, by
the way - an infinitely better way OF disposing OF
the homilies I don't think myself that correspond
encA is on the decline; least spend great deal
OF time trying 20 prove that II isn't But have
such lingering Partially for correspondence that
7 willing 10 DO three-fourtns % the work rather
than see II decline actually well theoretically
This comes in the line Of friendship. which Is
part OF the business OF life ! wouldn't waste
effort on anything less than friendship of a rare
quality.
You are one OF the women who dsprove the as
se-tion that friendship is incompatible with feui
nine traits. Not only Is your friendship Of the
most liberal and most durable type per Sc. but IL
has survived the accident Of marriage; and nothing
better than that can be said OF friendship Accord
ing 10 the popular idea Of marriage should be
absolute bar all other affections except OF
family. and al o-her forms methods OF com
revolutionary. even positively immoral, II 1 say
married lie The use Of friendship IS in It's ca
pacity for touching the various planes OF multi
human relationship should touch al these planes
bt i- ~ 80 Jo rs - t 80 +
.- -poi 81 IN u, 80 - =
L cornpltcates situations and creates sins where
none existed. Love. in the technical sense Of the
word is for one COmpaniOnship Is o. necessity
varied Love that denies the right 20 friendship is
selfish. and therefore suicidal IN its tendency All
selhshness Is suicidal The difficulty lies IL defining
seldshness Some people can only define unselhsh-
a perpetual self-mmolatiOn-a passion FOR
sacrifice which dsturhs the proper order OF things
II I in this strain. however, I shall end By
producing of the aforesaid hOmiles and shall
have tear IL up send IL TO editor. haven't
really finished the subject however. OF friendship
IL its relation 70 married life and 7 think II my
duty 70 finish what I begin. Don't your I'm sure
YOU must impress that upon your son several times
day. for children are prone to experiment. and ex-
pertinent often "drop-it-and- Be- Efn-again.'
And the be ginninE again IS Of course. profile
rlarical- But this time I shall with the sub
1ect so far as 10 say that I think you're quite
right insisting that married life imposes certain
restraint upon condolences between friends. can
unfold nv affairs YOU without almost
table strain upon your attention: and you
cannot bring m judgment or sympathy the
difficulties OF adjustment the manifold emotional
crises and disa ppcinrments OF al married expe-
rience. without the OF dislOyalry- These
things personal and intimate TO the last degree
They cannot be disclosed save as a RELIEF 20 IN
tolerable DESPAIR But II e common mistake 10
assume that friendship always Involves confidence
The inevitable Of individual lie ar most
perfectly respected by the highest type OF friend
ship. The friend who keep q secret from ne
less my friend than she who can tel me one
That sounds well that bring my nonLy 10 q
close. couldn't improve on r. X wrote ten more
pag4sf Yours faIthfuIIv PRISCILLA