Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-03-14

hditlhoFe American.
Mrs. Henpecque-Married men live
longer than single men. Henpecque-
Yes; and il serves them right.-Detroit
Free Press.
Mary said the mother, sharply,
You mustn't say Well never That
is slang We'll never slang mother
if | know it,"
Il used TO consider him one of the
most interesting takers ever heard"
Yes; but that was before he began
telling the cute things his baby says"
Not one, but many; Mrs. Stubs
They have captured the cleverest hotel
,obber in the country. dear. Mr.. Stubs
Indeed! Which hotel did he keep =
Fit-Bits.
Literal: Mistress-What in the world
are you putting ashes on the floor for,
Bridget? Bridget-Shure ma'am, an
didn't yez say to doost the parlor p
Town and Country.
The modern novel is bounded ON the
east by blood, ON the west 10y thunder,
Jon the north by gossip, on the south
by inanlties. and is surrounded by ad.
Yertisements. Baltimore News
Doctor" said the wife. do You
think dyspepsia makes my husband ir-
ritablet" Il know it," replied the man
of medicine. I'm try to get him well
so can get my bill without a kick"
Little Boy demonstrated the Kind
Old Lady, don't you know it is very
wrong for children like you to smoke
cgarettest' "Aw, gwan." replied the
Incorrigible. do yousc expect me t eat
EN- !''-Cincinnati Commercial Trib-
une.
Il understand" said the German
town girl, that YOU and Charlie are
engaged" Not yet" replied the truth
full maid Although he held my hand
for over an hour the other evening, and
that's a good ways toward being en-
gagged
John, dear" said the poets wife Il
wish you'd write a poem that'n buy
three pounds Of beef; and we'll need Il
sonnet for ham, an ode for sack Of
-four, a lyric for lard, and "A quauaiu
for a box of matches. There, | believe
that's all this morning. Atlanta Con
stitution.
In your yermiform appendix the
surgeon told him after the operation
was over. we found, strange to say,
a small brass tack" THAT proves
was right" feebly answered the sick
man. when l said it was something
had eaten in mince pie" Chicago
Tribune.
Yes" said the meek looking woman,
I'm glad Mr.. Barker isn't on jury
duty any more Did he find it nix
some" Very Mr. Barker couldn't
express an opinion without appearing
to agree with some Of The other men,
and it irritated him terribly" Wash
ington star.
Diamond shirt studs: Yes.
sir; here's q set, neat little stones. for
S125. Customer-IIuh. out home in
California / can GET JeWclCT-Ah.
yes, pardon ne, here you are. Just look
at these big flashes. Three carats each,
Sell you that set for $3.50.-philadel-
phia Press.
Personal Mrs Clifton-Yes. she
was furious about the way in which
that paper reported her marriage. Miss
Asondale-Did it allude to her age:
Miss Cliftou--Indirectl 1t stated that
Miss Ode and Mr. Yale were married,
the latter being a weli-known collector
of antiques. Saxbys Magazine.
why don't you try to live down
your past" asked the visitor at the
jail It's no use answered the pris
oner Not If you're sincerely sorry
"Bein' sorry don't do no good. When
dey'vc got your picture in de rogues'
gallery you've got to git out o de bust
ness. It's worse dan bein' up agin "A
trust Puck
Washington officials say young WON
Ell handle money more rapidly than
older ones, and there can be no doubt
about it. The amount of money that
can pass through the hands Of 2 young
woman has frequently paralyzed
young husband who thought he was
something of a spendthrift himself
ST. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Fiendsh revenge: The burglar soft.
ly opened the door of the suburbanite's
sleeping apartment, slipped inside. bur
found nothing worth stealing Darn
aim." he soliloquized: I'm get some
satisfaction out OF him, anyway
rhereupon he set the alarm clock on
he bureau for the hour OF three. and
'oftly departed Chicago Tribune.
Could recommend them; Il would adj
rise you" he said 10 the friend he was
aking home 10 dinner, ito try some Of
ny wife's branded peaches. or course
know you don't care for them ordin-
irily. but these are worth trying" "Ex-
ra good, are theyT' We'll / bought
he brandy myself and dumped an ex-
ra bottle Of it in when she wasn't
ooking. Chicago Post.
Tho no bxy's cries outcIaarad. Mrs