The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-05-17

/ MINIMUM
CHARGE
Is Gents,
Cash In Advance
.
A BUNDLE OF
CHOICE ANECDOTES

ooooooooooocoooooooooooooo
"Dem Boots Is Slippers"
The colored Sexton of the Presbyterian
church In the town of L. in vir-
ginia is q courteous. venerable kind
hearted old man by the name Of
Oceola Pinkerton. One wild wintry day
when the ground was covered with snow
of the imposing church. whose sexton.
ship he held as n badge of signal dls-
tinotion; as he stood looking UP the main
street OF the village. there came walking
down this street n "po white man" FROM
tho mountains, whose most conspicuous
mark was an immense pair of boots with
high yellow tops, reaching halfway front
the knee to the thigh, of which the man
was evidently very proud and into whlch
he had stuffed his trousers with tho
design Of showing off his ample and
gaudy yellow tops. Tho white man waq
plainly under the influence Of the
numerous drinks taken on this raw days
His gait was unsteady and the boots
moved somewhat uncertainty as theft
wearer approa ohed the slick, ice-coated
pavement In front of the Sexton's
church; as he came directly In front Of.
tho kind-hearted courteous old negro.l
with low bow and warning voice.
Oceola said: "Boss you'd batter watch:
out dar or you'll fall down and hut you1l
sef.' With an oath and threateningss
gesture. he was warned to tend to his,
own business "All right boss. all rightly
says he. Just then there was crash,J
the boots flew up the head flew downt
there was confused scene In which
were nliaed together, and over all tho
smiling face OF the courteous Cceolas
grinning until every white tooth was
amply revealed, and saying! ''seemas
like dem boots IS slippers"
"Not SO Light as You Might suppose.'
Uncle Cephas meets Uncle Rastus and
inquiries, "Brer Rastus, how did dat sons
o. yourn come out dat trial o hian?
Uncle Rastus responds solemnly The
jedge gin him three months ("
Uncle Cephas cordially and congratuAs
latingly Pears to me like he come out
powerful light. dat he did, powerful
light"
Uncle Rastus still more solemnly, Not
SO light as you might suppose, deH
gwine to hang him after de three monthae
is out"
Couldn't Afford to Own a $1,000 NiggerS
a professor in Emory and Henry col@S
lcge owned q very Intelligent negro
named Edmund, who was q very ca pablSs
and industrious shoemaker. Because HID;
master loved him he allowed him to keen
for himself a certain per cent. Of his
earnings until Edmund had accumulated
cutie little sum, and then his master
offered to sell him to himself for d
thousand dollars. which was only half
the prico already on several occasions
offered for him. Edmund took the offc1
into consideration and after several days
reflection came back with the following
original conclusion: See here. mastery
tv.rk a11 N,x, n Il ALL,
Higger, suppose I lay down and die i
loses all dat money" In Il few years Ed
mund got his freedom. and early in the
seventies lost his life in the fall ofthe
Capitol In Richmond In which he, with
so many members of the legislature. was
killed.
Difference Between the Old and the New
Uncle Renua Is sitting by the fire lag.
lily doing, while his little grandson
Pompey Augustus Is puzznng oyer al.
problem in mental arithmetic upon
at last he decides to seek his grandI
fathers help and he inquiries: 'Grandpa.
Ell you can get one shirt out of twot
yards, how many shirts can you get QUIT
or seben yards?"
In tho twinl1ling Of an eye, without,
spends, well my son, dat depends on
whose yard you'se In"
"Lawd Gwine Disappint 'em.l" i
Bob Inglin was man of-all-worls forS
the young pastor In c. in South Carr
Gina. He had belonged to aristocratiGl
people and had oil the dignity and aira,
Of his former master Chnncella J---4sl
Ho was a valuable servant except thati
lle would get upon protracted and exc;
hauslng sprees every three to size
months. The young pastor remonstrAt}
ted In vain with his valued servant. AZ.
last he determined after q more pros,
tracted spree than usual on the part OF
the old negro to talk as severely andy
impressvely to his servant as he could
so calling Bob the pastor. looking sol,
emnly In his eye said: do you know
what is going to happen to you in one Of
these drunken sprees2" mo Massa. M
dun no. Wat you tlnk swine happen?'sG
well" said the pastor You are going,
to die In one of these sprees and wake
pp dead and damned and In HE'LL
For thirty full seconds Bob looked
squnrely In his employers face and them
CLEAN of humor shot athwart his big
distended eye as he broke the silence
Yes Massa dat wat good many tink.
but the Lawd gwlne disapp!nt 'eml.