The Corvallis times. (Corvallis, Or.) 1888-1909, 1903-05-06
MANY GOOD LIARS.
BUT SOME OF THEM ARE COLD
FOOTED AND WOULDN'T LINE
UP AT THE BUGLE CALL.
And After all, a Walking Dele.
gate of Liars Uuion Came
up From Portland and
Put a Quietus on the
Proposed Contest.

The challenge of Spencer, leade
of a team of liars, to Dilly, th
! Fixer, leader of snother team O
liars, has b5en the subject of mucl
comment in the past few daye, ant
the public has waited impatiently
forthe TIMES 10 give the line. up
| pl zee and date of the contest. The
matter OF arranging details proved
more difficult than was at first
thought probable.
Selection of material was moi
easy. Much good talent objected
to being lined up in a public co..
test when it came down to rea
business. Another difficulty was
that b1th captains claimed several
of the same men. Some fellows
for in -tance, said they would act
with Spencer's team and then lied
out of it; others would swear al.
legiauce to D lily aud then go back
on him. The situation rendered
uncertain the position of some Of
the most gifted liars in the city.
and neither of the leaders could
tell just where he was at, as respects
his team. Both captains were more
or less discouraged, but Dilly de-
cided on grand coup.
His plan was to go over to Tam
many eingle-handed after the
fash;oa of the .ne highwaym IN,
surprise the gang and broadjds the
enemy with a regular old snolly-
gos er OF a yarn. He thought
Spencer might weaken and sur.
render the championship uncon-
ditionally. Accordingly, one day
last week, the Fixer rushed over
to Tammany and found the boss
telling some remarkable incidents
of the old stage days.
Here" said Dilly, ''these fell
lows are tired of your yarns. By
grab, you amt much of a liar any
way. I'll tell you something that's
a fact, and you can get an idea
of what [ might do if l was a mind
to lie.
81 just got a letter from my
cousin and it made me think !. of
an accident that befell him when
he was just about grown. It hap
pened 10 Eastern Oregon. He was
trying to de wild broncho and
was thrown into an old pile of
rails. A sharp stake ran into one
ear and came out at the other.'
Oily paused only for moment
to allow the fellows to imbibe
full measure of the horror.
sBut if you got a letter from
him he must be alive" ventured
one of the listeners.
"Why, yes, he's alive, of course"
said the Fixer. "If it had killed
him there wouldn't have been any.
hing strange about it."
'But we thought it had surely
killed him until we went up to
him. We found him still breath.
ng. Some of the boys said, Let's
pull the rail OUT but I said. NO
BY grab, that won't do, he'll bleed
% DEATH After a good deal of
:alk, we decided to saw the rail off |
close to either side of his head.'n'
HE must be deaf as post"
'aid a sachem in an undertone.
'No, sir, he amt deaf" contin ued |
he Fixer. We thought for awhile
hat he would be something of q
,lockhead, but he amt, and after
ve bored hole in either end of |
he chunk he could hear as we'll as
my of us.
"He's coming down here on
,isit this summer and you can see |
or yourselves"
As soon as he had finished his
narration, Dilly slid through the
loor' and beat precipitate retreat
'cross the street. The havoc his
words had wrought on the sachems
8 indescribable. The great sachem
ay across his tonsorial chair in
lead swoon. Henderson's head
lropped forward on his breast and |
lis tongue hung put as his breath
anne In quick gasps. Another
'hief, with his elbows on his knees
lroppsd his face into his hands and
,urst into sobs and tears. A doctor
Who might have happened in would
lave diagnosed the case OF each as
traight epileptic fits. Sachem
Davis, who was least affected, was
irst to recover. When Dilly was
lalf way across the street, he shout
d after him in a feeble voice and
sort Of a grave yard sigh, "Come
gain, Dilly."
When Tammany had recovered
from the effects Of Dilly's
lank movement, Spencer tried to
lerve Moore, his first lieutenant,
lp to the point of making counter
troke, but the man from Illinois