The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1903-03-24

iokesmiths' union. We refer to the
ttillators OF the public risibles who
write for the press! They have not
only amalgamated, adopted constitu-
ton and bylaws, but have had their
pictures in the papers. There is a
yoluminous boquet Of them beginning
with joky al" Bixby, of the Nebraska
State Journal, and ending with James
Barton Adams. Of the Denver Post
Unlike Oliver Wendell Holmes, the
members Of the jokesmiths' union
dare to write as funny as they can"
and they not only do 1t on every provo
cation. but frequently without artistic
incentive, irritation or inspiration
This Is because most OF them have
space to fill in the daily papers and
believe in drawing full pay. This
part Of the funny business is no joke,
as newspaper humorists have large
and cadaverous appetites which must
be upholstered three or four times
day. They believe that:
"A little nonsense now and then
Is relished by the best Of menu
But while the cream of society Is
engaged in relishing, 1t is a part Of the
wits sacred compact to try q little
relishing Of less evanescent nature
say, sauer kraut and weinerwurst,
for instance!
1t was Aristotle who said melan-
choly men Of all others are most witty.
Gazing into the open work face Of Roy
L. McCardell, of the New York World,
10 mr. the 10 contradict tho
ancient wise guy, and S. E. Kiser, OF
the Chicago Record-Herald, has a
handsome but pious caste Of counte-
nance that prognosticates rain, fol-
lowed by a long, dry spell. A few Of
the younger members of the union
have Uniting grimaces tagged to
their profiles that show a supercilious
consciousness of the photographers
presence and the cause IN which they
labor. In other words, they smile to
seem appropriate 10 their calling, and
their smile is the sunshine of deceit
1t is a well-known TACT that humorists
are a dyspeptic and grouchy lot. Even
history Is satisfied on this point. They
go down town and are as funny as a
stub-tailed monkey on a trapese all
day long, to come home at night with
the humor all squeezed out of them
and possessed only of mad desire to
beat their wives! To beat ones wife
is not particularly characteristic
that cites one as a humorist, but to be
a humorist and not have melancholy
and pugilistic tendencies is productive
of distrust in the jokesmith's ability
on the part of the amused populace.
This is but natural. The sense of hui
NOR and dignity is quite equally bal
anced in most people; hence it stands
to reason that a man who has worked
out all his humor for the daily papers
has left naught but dignity to prac-
tice upon his unprotected family at
eventide! The average man arrives
at home, sits down to dinner with a
twinkle in his eye and blurts out to
the admiring bosom of his family.
when Is a door not a door," The
humorist reaches his abode as sad as
a new wife's first apple dumplings,
and seating himself at the domicile
board. croaks grufiiy, This is HI
of a layout for a laboring mani" When
| his wife begins to weep, he grabs a
chair and, asserting his dignity, beats
her into submission and diligence! For
the life Of us, we can't see why the
funny fellers" have formed an ANAL
gamation. II the wives had sought
union of strength to combat dyspeptic
tendencies in their witty husbands,
one might understand, but except on
the grounds that misery loves COM
pany," we cannot understand the OBJ
ject of the organization. We pause for
reply.
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