The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-12-17


ready Fixed the Furnace for the Night.
G. r.. Moses of the suburbs called at
he office to-day to complain Of the HUI
nan mind.
What object to in the mind" said Mr..
Moses, Il can best illustrate by an exam
pie. Now last night, for instance, / care
FULLY fixed the furnace for the night and
went upstairs to bed. ] was just taking
off certain Of my garments that are
quite necessary, unless you are accus-
toned to wearing kits, when the horrible
doubt obtruded itself in the mind, or
rather the mind suggested the awful doubt
to me, that perhaps l had not turned off
the back damper in that everlasting and
world without end-confounded-furn
Il tried to reason the doubt away, to
laugh it out Of court and finally to ignore
it. All failures! Nothing must do. but I
must slip into panties and slippers and
go way down cellar and look at tina back
damper. Now why couldn't my mind re-
member about it and retrace it's steps or
if it IS such a wonderful thing why
couldn't it rubber clairvoyantly at that
damper? But no, it must drag papa into
his clothes again and down two flights of
chilly stairs all for naught, to say nothing
of running his shin against a chair and
other minor pleasures of that character"
The human mind is certainly the source
of much trouble and if it starts to run
..
be in no end Of trouble all the time.
President James J. Hill of the Great
Northern railway says that wages must
be reduced or freight rates advanced.
Why not trim the salaries Of some of the -
higher officials? Or squeeze out some OF
the water Mr.. Knox talks about?
What do you think of the West Virginia
business man who eloped with a lady
weighing 432 pounds? Wonder if she was
on castors?
The poultry show is coming along in
January at the old city hall. We are 60
ing to enter cur bantam rooster known in
the neighborhood as 1.-The Little Early
Riser because he begins to unlimber a
shril, rapid fire crow at 2:10 a. m, exactly
eight minutes ahead of r. F. Jones' prize
cockerel, known as Joneses Paw Paw.
Don't forget the hen show.
Did somebody murmur Dollar Gas? Or
was it the wynd.
Standard Oil distributed S13 900 900 in
dividends the other day. We wouldn't
have those articles now running in Nc
Cures Magazine written about US for the
whole dividend.
We may not get Canada this year nor
Mexico. but if we work it carefully
may be able to pull in New Mexico and
eight miles Of canal strip.
The McGinty navy is doing some won--
derful submarine stunts off French ports.
The modern warships besides watching the
surface of the sea will have to examine the
atmosphere and the bottom of the sea as
we'll If we are ever obliged to go into.
a naval battle, would prefer a sta
ton somewhere in Colorado, right at the
foot of the Rocky Mountains.
Professor Small of Chicago says that
capital has no rights. We look to find
salt water in that professors kerosene
can.
| The Muscatine. Iowa. Journal asks why
! do men get drunk? If the Journal has
not found out yet it ought to hire some
well informed man to tell it.
We read about the ''boy bandit aud
! the boy sleuth'' and all that, but. We do
! not know most of u.s. that the civil war
was fought practically by boys A Dies
MOines letter to the Sioux City Journal
says:
! Interesting statistics have been secured in the
office of the adiutant general of Iowa in regard
to the age of the men who enlisted in the United
States service in the of 1851 -65. These sta
tistics show the following facts:
Those who 10 years under. p
Those who were II years or under...... IS
Those who II Under. -
Those who l.. years under. 300
Those who were il years or under. -:
Those who is years under 231 051
Those who We're Il years under. "a. sol
Those who rs years under. 81 AS
Those who were p years under q. 20. TfS
Those who were % years and over.------ 61S.511
Those who % years and over 46. $685.
Those who were "A years and oTor..--. 1901
| Total enlisted men .............,....2.IIS,3 nt
! If these figures are correct the bulk of
the army was between Is and % years of
age. 1t is difficult to believe that less
than $4,000 men of that great army were
over % years.
We have been much interested in the
dispatch from Hamn1o nd Ind, regarding
the case of DR.. Washburn. The dispatch
was a. follows:
DR.. l. B. Washburn ofRenssaaer, Ind died
last night in private hospital at Valparaiso.
Iud. Two years ago DR.. Washburn was operated.
upon in the Presbyterian hospital at Chicago. 1t
is alleged that pair of steel forceps were used
the body the liver at that time. Or.
the patients side the liver was found
pair of forceos made of iron and steel, about
80: inches i'll length. The forceps had become
rusty.
Dr. washburn died few hours after the
operation -... f.. ... 20
Nature doubtless did the best she could
to absorb the forceps but the problem was
too much for her. = 1t would seem tho
S0OQ surgical instruments were OF 100
: much value to be sacrificed as lightly and
thoughtlessly as this. p
There is to be a great Beauty Show at
Madison Square Garden soon, and exam
d nations for two candidates are now be-
= ing held in Minneapolis by DR.. Mann OF
5 the Pills5ury building. 1t is not a contest
: of physical strength, but rather of beauty
/ in the lines of the body. perfect proper
tons and physical perfection. An ideal
| man and woman will be chosen just the
: same as judges would decide or an ideal
work of art or sculpture.
aminations close here Saturday, and
that night the candidates will be brought
before five Judges in the studio of the
: Night Life class and the two having the
f best chances for success in New York Will
y be chosen. The judges will consist of a
: sculptor, artist. doctor, woman physical
. director and another woman, not yet
q chosen.
We have been urged to enter for this
a contest, but as we do not care to stand in
d the way of Ralph Wheelock or Editor
y Sjoblom we have modestly declined. There
: is no pleasure in a sure thing game.
: A. j. r.
Y PRESIDENT ACCEPTS FRIck GIFT