davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1903-05-21
ALMAck's OF LONDON.
A Famous Woman's Club of . Gen.
 tury OF So Ago.

A Famous W0man's Club of Gen.
 tury OF So Ago.
 About a century ago the seventh heaven of the fashionable world of London was club known as Almack's, of which the patrOnesses were Lady Castlereagh, Lady Jersey, Lady Cow per (afterward Lady Palmerston), Lady Sefton, Mrs. Drummond Burrell (after- ward Lady Willoughby). the Princess Esterhazy and the Countess Lieven. Their smiles or frowns consigned men and women to happiness or despair. It is hard for US to conceive the impor- tance which was attached to getting admission to Almack's. Of the 300 off, cers of the Foot guards not more than half dozen were honored with cards to this temple of the beau monde. The government was pure despotism, as every government by woman is bound to be, and host of intrigues was set set in motion to get an invitation.
 Very often persons of rank who had the entree anywhere were excluded from the club. Such as were admitted tad to dress in conformity with the edict of the tyrants, no gentleman be- Ing allowed to appear at the assemblies except in knee brooches, white cravat and crush hat. On one occasion the Duke of Wellington was about to ascend the stairs to the ballroom dressed in black trousers when the guardian of the establishment stepped forward and said, Your grace cannot be admitted in trousers" whereupon the duke. who had a great respect for orders, quietly walked away.-New York Press.
The Press., 1903-05-21
Appealed to the Powers.

The late Joseph Medill, editor of the Chicago Tribune, besides being an in defatigable editor, had decided vein of humOr in his composition.
 During the last years of his life, as his strength permitted, he watched over his paper as zealously as in his younger days, and it was his custom to scan the columns of certain favorite exchanges and clip from them ex- tensively, marking them on the mar gins, "J. M.-Must," meaning that the extracts must go in. It was one of his great griefs that there was not always room for all of them, even whef' col umns of live editorial matter had been crowded out, as they were sometimes, to make room for them.
 One night he went up to the room of the night editor with bundle of clip pings in his hand. $,
 MT. Ransom" he said to that ofi! cial, with a twinkle in his eye, "I wish you would use your influence to have these printed in the paper tomorrow morning. Companion.
The Press., 1903-05-21
A Pun That Failed.

At public dinner careless waiter stumbled when bringing in a boiled tongue. The tongue slipped over the edge of the dish upon the tablecloth.
 Never mind," said the chairman cheerfully. tits only a lapsus linguae" (slip of the tongue).
 The joke was received with burst of laughter. A gentleman present, who had no knowledge of Latin, yet saw what boisterous merriment 1t caused, secretly determined that he would repeat the whole performance at his next little dinner party at home and give his guests great laugh at his wit. te-
 The occasion arrived. There was to be a leg of mutton, and the host had instructed the waiter to let 1t fall when coming in. The waiter did so, to the great dismay of the guests. T "Oh, never mind," cried the host .cheerfully, fits only lapsus lingus."
 To his great disgust and astonish- ment, however, nobody seemed to see 1t, and now he Is suspicious that some thing must have gone wrong some Where.-Pearson's.
The Press., 1903-05-21
Wasted All Three Wishes.

An Irish legend has it that a good fairy once visited an old couple and promised them that any three wishes they would make would be granted. After racking their brains for some time in an endeavor to discover what they desired most the couple decided to visit the county fair to see if some thing there would suggest what they wanted. They did so, and after ram bling around all day and not seeing anything that exactly suited them toward evening they found them selves before display of kitchen utensils. Among them was a soup la dle, cheap, but likely to appeal to a woman, so the old woman in an ab
 sent moment said, "Oh, wish I had one of those," and immediately she had it. The old man was so enraged because his wife had thoughtlessly thrown away one. valuable wish that he retorted, "I wish that was stuck down your throat" and immediately this was done. Thereupon he was at once sorry at what he wished, and the only thing left to ao was to wish the ladle out again. So all three wishes went for naucht. -a..as -4a ..D.
The Press., 1903-05-21
THIRTY YEARS AGO.
items Of local interest taken from the columns
 of The Press, thirty years ago.I
May sa, 1873.

Petitions have been presented to the legislature of Julius Converse et al for
 Incorporation of borough at Stafford Springs, of W. A. Foster ct al. for incor.
 porating of trust company, and of Geo. A. Morse of Putnam ct al. for incorpora. tion of Putnam and Stafford railroad. Dr. J. M. Browne's hen, of Willington,
 has the lead now. Hers measures 7-e by 8 8-S, and weighs quarter of pound. Hen and eggs are doing as well as could
 reasonably be expected.
 A "brook trout'' was caught In Filling
 ton last Friday weighing three and half pounds.
 The season Is very backward. Fruit trees of all kinds seem very slow in blos-
 soming, and the apprehension prevails
 that the supply of fruit will be small. MARRIED. Stafford, May 14th. 1873 by Rev. F. L. Batchelder, Joseph Burley
 and Melissa Ruby, both of Stafford.
 May 18th, Edwin R. Marsdale of Staf.
 ford and Marcia s. Pease of Monson.
The Press., 1903-05-21
..n.. ss-o.~e.. Attrin.,..

The strongest attribute of Lincoln was his power of self control. Senti- ment might sway him, but a mob never moved him. When jealousies in the army bred a popular clamor against General Grant, while the latter was winning famous victories in the south west, Lincoln listened to no word of scandal and by his silence rebuked the defamers of the general who afterward became the admiration of the world When in the feyered tumult of passion an angry north seemed to voice gen eral demand for the infiiction of the death penalty upon Jefferson Davis, Lincoln listened in silence and waited for reason to resume its sway. He was always looking over the heads of the crowd. He was always listening to the still small voice that echoed in the dis tance. far away from the roar of vehe- ment denunciation. The majesty of the law constantly appealed to his fine fudicial Sense-IeSlie'S Weekly %
The Press., 1903-05-21

THE WASTES OF THE BODY.-Every seven days the blood, mucles and bones of a man of average size loses two pounds of worn out tissue. This waste cannot be replenished and the health and strength kept up without perfect digestion. When the stomach and digestive organs fail to perform their functions, the strength let's down, health gives way, and disease sets up, Kodoi Dyspepsia Cure enables the stomach and digestive organs to digest and assimilate all the wholesome food that may be eaten into the kind of blood that rebuilds the tissues and protects the health and strength of the mind and body. Kodol cures Indigestion, Dyspep- sia and all stomach troubles. If Is an ideal spring tonic. Sold by W. D. Heald.
The Press., 1903-05-21
Fla,v ia the Reasoniax.

MT. and Mrs. Chuckster were en gagged in one of their frequent argp ments. fgf
 Now. Amanda. see here"-
 Get that right, Oliver" she inter rupted. 'sThe proper form, as you will see if you think a moment, Is 'look here.'"
 "What's the differenceT he demand ed You can't look without seeing, can youT
 'Oh, yes. you can. Everybody says you and look alike. but it's a notOri ous fact that we don't see alike" Chicago Tribune.
The Press., 1903-05-21
Tea Drunkards.

Tea drunkards are nearly as numerr Rous as opium fends and social gamblers among our less guarded maids and ma irons of the idle aristocracy of wealth. It is terrible dissipation. Some of the victims boil the tea until every bit of the quercitannic acid Is extracted from the leaves, which renders the bev- craze bitter, and dangerous. It is so astringent that no mucous membrane can readily overcome it's effect. Wom- en who revel and luxuriate like it be- cause it is good pick me up."-New York Press.
The Press., 1903-05-21

A FARMER STRAIGHTRNED OUT.-"A man living on farm near here came in Q short time ago completely doubled up with rheumatism. handed him bottle of Chamberlain's Pain Balm and told him to use 1t freely and If not satisfied after using it he need not pay cent for 1t. ? says 0. P. Rayder, of Pattens Mills, N Y. "A few days later he walked into the store as straight as 8 string and handed me dollar saying, give me another bot tie of Chamberlain's Pain Balm. I want t in the house all the time for 1t cured me. {" ."
 , For sale by E. K. Taft, H. +. Cady, Stafford; G. Hall, IT,, < Co.,, South VII lington. ...s.
The Press., 1903-05-21

Too GREAT A RIsK.-In almost every
 neighborhood someone has died from CT
 attack of collie or cholery morbua, often before medicine could be procured or g physician summoned. A reliable remedy for these diseases should be kept at hand The risk Is too great for anyone to take. Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and Diar.
 rhoea Remedy has undoubtedly saved the lives of more people and relieved more
 pain and suffering than any other medi- cine In use. It can always be depended
 upon.
 For sale by E. K, Taft. H.. F. Cady, Stafford; G. Hall, IT,, < Co.,, South Will
The Press., 1903-05-21

THE X-RAY. Recent experiments, by practical tests and examination with the aid of the X-Rays, establish 1t as fact that the Catarrh of the Stomach is not 6 disease of itself, but that 1t results from repeated attacks of indigestion. "HoW Can Cure My Indigestion ?" Kodol Dyspepsia Cure is curing thousands. II will cure you of indigestion and dyspep
 sfa, and prevent or cure Catarrh of the Stomach. Kodol digests what you eat makes the stomach sweet. Sold by w
 ID HaAld. --
The Press., 1903-05-21
Marriage and Crfnae.

5i 1t is said that statistics prove that in every 1000 bachelors there are thirty eight criminals. while in every 1000 married men the criminals number only eighteen. If this is so, 1t surely proves that the present day members of the sex labeled coy and hard to please have at least an immense capability for keeping men out of mischief, sufficient to outbalance perhaps even the unkind reputation handed down the ages by Mother Eye.-London> Tatler.
The Press., 1903-05-21
Knew What He Meant.

"That grocer of ours speaks the mos fragmentary English of any one ], ever heard, !" said MT Precise. sse'sss1
 You mean broken English my dear." corrected Mrs. Precise. "You know he is Il German"
 ''I mean fragmentary." repeated Mir Precise. 1.-The man shutters. Judge.
 Queer About the Eyes. Prince Troubetskoy, the artist, once painted in Paris the portrait of an American who was cross eyed. The painter thought a great deal about the matter and finally. made his picture cross eyed. too, so that it should be a faithful likeness.ss
 When 1t was done, the original looked at it and said: 8Uf
 Tt seems to melt seems-why, hang 1t. this picture is cross eyed. isn't itY'
 "Why. no more than you are, sir" said Prince Troubetskoy.
 Well. perhaps you're right" mur- mured the American. Tt seems to have a queer look about the eyes, though"
The Press., 1903-05-21
A.snra Thing.

1t Is said that nothing Is sure except death and taxes, but that Is not altogether true. Dr. Kings New Discovery for Con-
 sumption is sure cure for all lung and throat troubles Thousands can testify to that Mrs. 0. B VanMetre of Shep- herdtown, w. Va, says "I had severe case of Bronchitis and for year tried everything heard of, but got no relief.
 One bottle of Dr. Kings New Discovery for Group, Whooptng Cough, Grip, Pneu- guaranteed by A. 0. Eaton, druggist. Trial bottles free. Reg. sizes soc, $lOO.
The Press., 1903-05-21
Ancient sauaages

AntiQuaries are baff1ed in their at tempts to ascertain when sausages first became an article of human consump- ton. We know at least that among the ancient Greeks sausages. called ''al- lantes'' and "chordai," were a common article of diet, and every schoolboy knows, or ought to know, that saul sages, black buildings and sausage sell CTS appear in the comedies of Aris- tophanes.-London Telegraph.
The Press., 1903-05-21
A Startling Test,

To. save life, Dr. T.. G. Merritt, oi No. Mehoopany, Pa., made startling test resulting in a wonderful cure. He writes, "a patient was attacked with vio- lent hemorrhages, caused by ulceration oi the stomach. had often found Electric Bitters excellent for acute stomach and liver troubles so prescribed them. The patient gained from the first, and has moi had an attack in IA months." Electric Bitters are positively guaranteed for Dyspepsia, Indigestion, Constipation and Kidney troubles. Try them. Only soc at A. c. EatOn's. .
The Press., 1903-05-21
Not a Dagger.

Some strolling Thespians were once playing Macbeth" in country town. Their properties were not kept in very systematic order. for when the hero of Shakespeare's drama exclaimed, "IE that dagger that see before meT . shrill voice responded from the flies" 'No. sir. It's the putty knife. The dagger's lost" $
The Press., 1903-05-21
Her Eathom,,... n-..

It was the hermit Thoreau, whose mistress was wood and stream, who wrote: ''The lover sees in the glance of his beloved the same beauty that in the sunset paints the western skies. It is the same diamond here lurking under a human eyeiid and there under the closing eyelids of the day. Here. in small compass. is the ancient and nat ural beauty of evening and morning. What loving astronomer has ever fath- omed the ethereal depths Of the eveY'
The Press., 1903-05-21
How a Boy Explained n Par.b..

There is no saying how the average small boy sometimes regards religious truth. A London paper records that the son of a well known bishop being asked to explain the meaning of the parable of the grain of mustard seed replied, Ut means that q little religion goes long way, and those who have the least of 1t here will be highest in
 the kingdom of heaven."-Leslie'
 Weekly. ..e# 4 ..s.r.. s....-..- . .- :
The Press., 1903-05-21

Exposure to sudden climatic change produces cold in the head and catarrh Is apt to follow. Provided with Ely's Cream Balm you are armed against Nasal Ca tarrh. Price 90 cents at Druggists or Ely Brothers, 56 Warren st., New York, will mail 1t. The Balm cures without pain, , does not irritate or cause sneezlng. It spreads itself over an irritated and angry surface, relieving immediately the painful inflammation, cleanses and cures. Cream Balm quickly cures the cold. IS
The Press., 1903-05-21

There may be no question what
 ever about your courage, but well undertake to say $that, though you are as brave as a lion, you won't want to have anything to do with that kind of a fray. Trousers and tatters don't make just the kind of combination that you are hankering after, do theyi Purchasers of Suits or Trousers will have the advantage of our Mark-Down Prices, and will not. be bothered with any thing of the sort. They are just as safe from it as though they had a paid-up policy of insurance against any such kind of sun- pleasantness. If our Suits give you any hankering at all, they will give you an ungovernable hankerning for another one just like it. &
The Press., 1903-05-21
,oct.r. Make No Mi.takes.

Patient t-But. doctor. only last week you said would surely die. and today you see am as we'll as ever was. .
 Doctor-Sir, never make mistake in a diagnosis. Your ultimate demise is only a matter of time. = Chicago News.
The Press., 1903-05-21
A Relief.

Husband-Darling.I believe that am failing.
 Wife Gin alarm)-Gracious! How often have warned you. George. against your foolish speculations!
 Husband-I don't mean in business, dear; mean I'm failing in health.
 Wife (relieved)-Oh, is that all2
The Press., 1903-05-21

Mir. Joseph Pominville, of Saltwater, Minn., after having spent over $2,OOO with the best doctors for stomach trouble, without relief, was advised by his drug gist, Mir. Alex. Richard, to try a box of Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver Tab lets. He did 20, and is well man to-day. If troubled with indigestion, bad taste in the mouth, lack of appetite or constipa- tion, give these Tablets trial, and you are certain to be moro than pleased with the result.
 For sale at g cents per box by E. K. Taft, H. F. Cady, Stafford; G. Hall, Jr, & Co.,, South Willington.
The Press., 1903-05-21
The Poet rnrnaa

Office Boy-I told dat poet wot called dat you wuz out of town.
 Editor-Good! What did he say?
 Office BOy-He said he thought he noticed an improvement in de paper.- New York Journal.
The Press., 1903-05-21
LoYe In SpectmcleR.

He-I suppose now that l shall have to ask your father for his consent
 She-No. Harry. After the first time you called, pa said l might have you if wanted you. Pa and l have under stood 1t for long time.-Boston Tran Sorinf
The Press., 1903-05-21
Uncertain.

Hes queer chap"
 "Yes. Just now he was saying that nothing was certain in this world but the uncertainty of things. and you couldn't bank on that"-Detroit Free Press. t ~
The Press., 1903-05-21
Casey,s Generous <sast.

When MT. Casey died. he left all he had to the orphan asylum
 Indeed! That was nice of him What did he leaveY
 His twelve children" ."-Detroit Free Press.
The Press., 1903-05-21
A Strong Hint.

Harduppe-Say. old man, believe owe you Hn apology.
 Frecl Well. I've heard it called a V, flyer. a finuf plunks and five bones, but never an apology before! |
The Press., 1903-05-21
JustfnnhIe

Johnson writes that he's just killed the hero in his new novel,"
 Well. he needn't worry over that; any jury will acquit hirar'-Atlanta Constitution.
The Press., 1903-05-21
H,. E,~.r,nr Remark.

MT. Dumhead-Nelson was coming t( call, but told him you would be en gagPd this evening Miss Olemade (rapturously)-Oh VII liaml-PrincetOn Tiger.
The Press., 1903-05-21

Pretty nearly every ninety pound .wo
 man has an ambition to be managing editor of a 24O pound man.-Pittsburs Dispatch. Ht
The Press., 1903-05-21

Stops the Cough and works of tho Cold. Laxative Promo Quinine Tablets cure cold in one day. No Cure, Nc Paw Price 25 cents
The Press., 1903-05-21
gssFst NHer gOvvnsIdea. aas SS

E5tI Her Own Idea.S 4s V
 "Your daughter" said Mrs. Oldcastle after being conducted through the new lyfinished wing of the magnificent pal ace occupied by the BuIlingtons. s'has such a splendid vocabularyr
 M "De you think sop her hostess re- piled. Josiah wanted to get her one of them escritoires, but I made up my mind right at the start that vocabu- lary would look better in room fur nished like hers is even If it didn't cost quite as mnch." Chicago Record Her aldy lg; Vfs sESE fEEsfE:bTtf9
The Press., 1903-05-21
The Barred Road.

"There is only one road to success in life" said the man who had made his lucky and retired. .}, i.l,.
 "And how shall I know the road9 P Inquired the budding young man.
 ''Well," replied the man with the lucky, you go right along this path of diversity until you reach the first turn to the right" Ssit ! ''Yes, yes" . f And you'll find road barred off with gate and sign that says No Trespassing.' We'll, that's it."-Balti- more News.
The Press., 1903-05-21
A DDITIoNAL ORDER OF NOTICE.

A State Of ConnectIcut. County of Tolland, ss Vernon, Apr1 sS, A. D.. 1903.
 Napoleon Gilman vS- Della Gilman.
 Upon the complaint or the said Napoleon Gll- man, praying for reasons therein set forth for c divorce, now pending before the Superior Court tn and for the County Of Holland, 1t appearing to and being found oy the subscribing authority that Che said defendant Is residing In Eveleth, St. Louis County, State of Minnesota, and absent from this State.
 Therefore. ordered-that notice Of the penden- ey of said complaint be given by publishing this order in The Press, newspaper printed in Staf- ford, In said County. two weeks SucceSStT6ly, the first publication to be not later than the seventh day of May, A. D., 1908, and by deposit ing copy of said complaint, citation and order of notice in the post ofice, registered and post paid, at stafford Springs, in said County, direct cd to said defendant at Eveleth, St. Louis Coun- ty, State of Minnesota, on or before the seventh day Of May, A. D., 1903.
 By the court, --...-. -.---.. .--s .r. LYMAN WINNING TINGIER, 2 Clerk Of the Superior Court for Holland County.
The Press., 1903-05-21
Amateur Might Do n. We'll

'"Tell the truth. now. You are a pro fessional beggar, are you notY' said the keen faced individual who had been approached.
 ''I used to think was," replied the weary wayfarer, "but since 13 cents Is all have to show for days work I am forced to the conclusion that am merely an amateur."-Stray Stories.
 A Little Early Riser now and then, at bedtime will cure constipation, bilious. ness and liver troubles. Dewitt's Little Early Risers are the famous little pills that cure by arousing the secretions, moving the bowels gently, yet effectually, and giving such tone and strength to the glands of the stomach and liver that the cause of the trouble Is removed entirely, and If their use is continued for a few days, there will be no return of the com plaint. Sold by W. D. Heald. .
The Press., 1903-05-21
What Happenea.

.Ghe married the coachman because she wanted some one who could drive" sWellY' A .t.... -
 well, he drove her to distractionF + Chicago Post.
The Press., 1903-05-21
NOTICE.

All persons liable to pay taxes in the town Of Union are hereby notified that have received & rate Dill and warrant to levy and collect a town tax Of twenty-five mills on the dollar, on list Of f902, also military and poll tax. Said taxes are due May ist, 1903, and for the purpose Of receiving the same will be at the Town Hall, Union, Monday, May 4th, from until D. m., and at Union Post Office, Saturday, Nay 90. from 10 a. m until p. m- Alter June 1st, h. rarest at per cent and legal fees will be charg- ed F. L. UPHAM, Collector.
 Union. Conn, April 1st. 1908
The Press., 1903-05-21
Discovering a Gold Mine.

Gold was discovered in California in 1848 and i1 Colorado in 1858. The dis. covery was accidental in both cases, and the fact created the impression that mines were lying around lOose.' Adventurers drifted about in hope of Stumbling upon a mine." Mir. Thayer in his ''MarYels of the New Vest mentions several, instances of lucky "stumbling."s Three men while look ing for gold in California discovered the dead body of a man who evidently had been prospecting. Poor fellOwg' said one of the trio. He has passed in his checks" Lets give him a decent burial" said another. Some wife or mother will be glad if ever she knows it." They began to dig grave. Three feet below the surface they discovered signs of gold. The stranger was buried in another place. and where they had located grave they opened a gold mine.
The Press., 1903-05-21

GREATLY ALARMED BY A PERSISTENT CoUGH, BUT. PERMANENTLY CURED BY CHAMBERLAIN's COUGH REMEDY MT. H P. Burbage, student at law, In Green. vile, s. O., had been troubled for four or five years with a continuous cough which he says. greatly alarmed me, causing me to fear that was in the first stage of con. sumption" Mir. Burbage, having seen Chamberlain's Cough Remedy advertised, concluded to try 1t. Now read what he says of 1t: II soon felt remarkable change aud after using two bottles of the twenty five cent siza, was permanently cured.n lsaaH aaa
 Sold by E K.Taft. H. F. Cadv. Staf- ford; c. Hall, Jr,, < Co.,, South Willing ton.
The Press., 1903-05-21
r.a.ls.. Sa1S Fertilizers

Are made in Columbus, O., and stand at the head of all Fertilizers for quality, and the phenomenal re- suits that follow their ap- plicatiOn. Notwithstanding the high grade of these Fertilizers the price has been made low enough to make it an object for any one to give them a trial. They are kept in stock in this section and sold by
 Jacob Glover & Son,
 STAFFORD HOLLOW.
The Press., 1903-05-21

IF you are In need of SPECTACLES or KTR. NIaAGBMN can at ihn@ sfAE
 wMALD.@ HEu@- -@ror@-