The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-07-12

Ia Paris for Dead ensy."--she says. And we chases down to de Rue de Rivol. and buys a hotel guide of de Swiss Mcun- tains and leaves 1t in deir rooms.
 'It'll do dem just as much good as so- ing dere," says Duchess. and not do me near as much harm"
 Is Duchess a bold? whatl Honest, If date goil ever lost her n we dere wouldn't be enough of her left to speak of.
 Now dat M'sieu Paul Is to be our new master" says she, we must start in to train him proper at de beginning, so he has a right to do anything much but love Nam zelle. and pay de. bills"
 Say. I'm passing it along to you on de level dat was de way it was all de time We was in form parts. But l ain't nak- ing no holler on dat score. If 1t wasn't so far from de Bowery. Paris would be near as easy to waltz tru as de Tender loin. It's cheap to be happy in Paris, De amount of booze dat wouldn't stop an American tinlsing about his debts. will start a Frenchman bragging about hts rich relations, and giving away brown stone fronts he don't own.
 But I was going to tell you: I had a knock down to Duchess folks. well, well! dat was a merry-go-round for fair. Dere was ladder and Biodder, sister snd brodder, two aunts and two uncles. fcur nieces and four nephews. and god ladder and god modder. Every last one Of de whole bunch kissed me on bote cheeks, and talked noting but French! Along | wit Duchess being me wife all dis time I'm getting a bit gay ~it dat iangN'ndge meself By de time family and me had drunk about a gallon of blue ciaret each are you Oh to petit bleu-and de kiddies had got over wondering why I wasn't red skinned. and didn do rough house wit a tommyhawk, was parlez-vous-ins | to beat a boarding school goil. But when I won seventeen franc from one of me French uncles, learning him how to shoot craps, he used some woids what was dead ringers to me. I asked Duchess what dey was, but she says deTe was no woids h English to explain 'em. If dat's so, Unky must have used some gaudy langwudge. or else Duchess hasn't de neck holt on English my wife ought to have. l was telling MT Paul about dat. and he says dat wken de Ere leh takes de boxing gloves off deir language. and gets real busy using 1t wit l. -ro fists, dey makes de woist talk of odder nations sound like violets smell.
 But let me tell you got in one round of straight English. all right. was floating along de Boulevard of deee Ital- fans one day, wit me stick and me pipe, and de bull dog--what was overweight from de bites he had took out of French poodles-when mug wit long hair' and a black flag for a necktie, pipes me on in straight Manhattan. and says. "Scuse me-" he says. Didn't used to see you in New York2"
 Sure, if you was dere. and out for your healt," I says
 What are you doing here" he says, putting in wit me and de dog,
 De best I can." says I. And it's dry at dat" says I.
 ntxy fAhiA . he ana we sat down at de sidewalk table. and has deux book. what's as near as de French can come to saying. Two beers
 copped de mug all right He's dead swell New Yorker I'd often seen at MT. Paurs place. but he was in Paris den' playing at being a artist. We'll. as we was sitting dere, deux booking now and den. him saying 1t done him good to hear real New York again. some English Willie boys comes along. each wit one pop eye, and one eye patched wit glass. When me friend sees dat de Engiishmen was head cd for him, foist he near truns 1t, an den he passes me out hurry whisper: "stand for any game play" he says. "Dese is a couple of tuft-hunters what has near bored me to deat.N
 Sure" I says. not knowing what tuft-hunter was, but wanting to be oblig- ing. "Everything goes" says I, and he tells de Willies to shake hands wit de Lord Mayor of de Lowery.
 Dey . ,: gives me de high hand shake. and one of 'em calls me Me Lord" and asks how big city was de Bowery.
 says 1t was de biggest ting on cart; and at dat bote opens deir patched eyes so wide dey dropped deir windows. and says dey recalls something dat travellers had wrote about de Bowery. but dey nev- CT was on to its size.
 Whats lts principal industry, me