West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-16
BOHSERS BALM.
lie Finds Something 20 Eradicate His
Facial Wrinkles.

mlnd Nhcn he came home the other evening
was clear as day TO Mrs. BowSer. but she
tcfowed out her usual plan OF awaiting
Developments aud il was haiti an hour after
dinner before she got the news lie had
been htching around TOT that length OF
tune In an uneasy way, when he looked up
In half ashamed manner and inquired,
did you ever take particular notice OF
the face OF an Egyptiani"
Why. | don't remember TO have ever
seen one OF that race" she replied. II
know they are dark.skinned. however"
"Yes. they are darkskinned. but what I
meant was that no Egyptian ever shows
wrinkles on his face. even when he gets to
be 90 years old. There was one In the
office to-day who was 81. aud he had the
fresh. youthful face of a young man OF as"
And how do you az count Tor iti' asked
ArS. Bowscr who was wondering What
gumgamc that Egyptian was up to-
We'll they have certain balm which
they rub on their faces. Il is prepared by
only one person in Egypt, aud the secret is
so zealously guarded that no one has been
able to discover IL Offers OF sIoo 600 have
been made from Am rlca England and
France, but without avail. One box OF this
balm will take every wrinkle OF the face.
And this Egyptian caller at your Office
had a few boxes with himSr
"Ycs. half dozen"
And he offered to sell YOU one for Sfo9"
"He only wanted Ss. The usual price is
s7s. but he wanted me to try II and give
him the use OF my name.
And you were silly enough to invest ss
In box OF what will probably turn out to
be only scented lard thought from the
way you acted that"
Stop interrupted Mt Bowscr. as the
blood suddenly leaped 20 his face Ifyou
are going to assume any such attitude as
this, you can so to grass. Lam not buying
scented lard al Gao per pound and am
not on my way TO the lunatic asylum.
But you bought box OF the stuff
Suppose dtd1
And you have no earthly use for IL. un
less you use II for corn salve. That
Egyptian must have chuckled clear down
to his boots as he went out with your
money. I don't believe a word OF his warn.
Inever heard OF any such balm. and
don believe there is any. Even u tho stuff
would do all he claimed for il. what did
you want IL fori"
MIR. Bowser swallowed the lump In his
throat aud glared for minute Then he
too tin box from his pocket and replied
There is the stuff as you call IL, aud
perhaps your nose will detect the lard In II.
As to what ! want TO use 1t for, WANT to
take these wrinkles off my face I've got
IN ~. sss1.A .l..Hs a
one u you had been the right SOFT OF wife
It's having 10 worry over your extfaya.
ganceS and bad management that has
made my face look like an o'd bootleg.
don't care TO be pointed out as a man 400
years old.
Every man OF your age has wrlnkhs
aud few are ashamed of them. Taking the
wrinkles OF don't make you any younger.
should rub something on my knees instead
OF my face "
Woman. would YOU Insult me II" shouted
Mr.. Bowser, as he stood'up and gesiured
until he scared the cat under the piano.
ut is all envy and spite on your part You
are afraid will 10 X younger than you do
When my knees need rubbing will let
your family know. BY thunderI but will
not allow any human being to talk to me as
you have am no doddering old man or
boy OF 10. ] think I know my business
even when buying Egyptian Balm"
Mrs. Bowser realized that she had gone
too far. and she had nothing further to say
Half an hour later she went up to her room,
leaving Mr. Bowser with his paper. He
waited a few minutes to see II she would
reappear. and then decided to begin
operations Removing his coat and waist.
coat. be stood in front OF the mantle glass
and proceeded TO. rub his wrinkles over
with the balm
s"One application" he read from the box
"will make wonderful Improvement
while the second will almost transform the
face. DO not be afraid 10 use a liberal
quantity and the rubbing should be thor.
oughIy done"
In this case Il WAS thoroughly done. Mr.
Bowser had rubbed away for ten minutes.
and he was Aattesing himself that as many
as hfty wrinkles had been reduced to half
their original sire when the tears suddenly
started to his eyes. and he began to feel
smartiog sensation in his checks The
Egyptian hadn't said that tears and smarts
were necessary part OF the program but
they were taken 10 be for the next five
minutes. Then the flush on MIR Bowsers
face deepened to lobsier.red. the tears
came as fast as II his mothcr.in.iaw was
dead. and be stopped rubbing This
didn't stop the smarting. however. and IL
was no better when the balm had been
washed on with soap and hot water
There was something wrong with that
Egypti8n balm. or else Mr.. Bowscr had
been just on tie point Of developing some
contagious disease He hated to give up
aud acknowledge a. but ~ the end OF
another fs minutes he pat on his hat and
overcoat and started for the drug store
As he entered The place the druggist
stared a. him and exclaimed
BY gum. Bowsor. bot have you had
gas explosion over AT your houso5"
There has been no gas explosion" was
the answer
But what ais your faceY Il looks as II
you bad painted IL red.
II had a pimple on my cheek and
rubbed little grease on
u should say you had rubbed a little
grease on You just plas,ercd IL on for
keeps Was u lard or butter2"
- believe thci call Il Egyptian balm.
Al. see. You were trying 10 rub OF the
wrinkles. I've heard Of that balm before.
You'll have 10 use sweet oil literally. and
you'il have sort Of headlight on you Tor
three or four days Mrs Rowsef will
appreciate the joke J guess"
There is no Joke, replied Mr. BoWsor.
with great stiffness
Nor
NO sir and II there was Il Is your bust.
ness to sell drugs and let jokes alone.
linnd. .ninht air