The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1903-08-13
cLoRINpA.



II really must have q Useful Maid"
paid CbsrlndA She waa paying a
morning call and looked prettior and
moro appealing than v
"what is q Uusful Maid7" I asked.
"A Useful Maid" said Clorlnda, "ls
q maid who VIII do homework and
maids work too, who Il In a way a
lady. who considers nothing beneath
her, who ia equally ready to do your
hair, pack for you, wash your handker-
ehiofg and laces. who runs up dresses
fcrea on the ellghtest p%royoOatlon
who hAs an isatiable passion for using
up remnants into b%louses: who wants
lesg salary than a real maid and who
givea herself no airs; who2
clorlnda stopped-almost as much
out Of breath as tina, Mr.. Gregsbury.
NJ. p, who once sought the incessant
services Of Nicholas Nickleby.
Il Sec" l said. graveiy. Il am In
deed glad that l now know what a
Useful Maid Is. She is certainly a
most meroifui dispensation. And Is
she ever to be found9"
"she must be pretty" continued
clorinda, ignoring my question: that
is indispensable. Marmaduke can't
endure any but good-looklng people
round him."
"she won't be round Marmaduke
much, I hope7" I murmured.
"oh, good looks aud charm are IN
tie very atmosphere" said Cloginda,
tightly; "it's wonderful how they seem
to psrvade a house. They make every
pne feel so much more cheerful. some
how>-don't you think SOL"
what other attributes must the
Useful Maid possess. besides b6auty9"
inquired
Y" Charm includes nearly every
thing, you see" Clorinda meditated.
ooh, yes. she must be perfectly ami
able and smiling always. I feel a
distinct malice all day II | meet a
frowning face. say. at breakfast AS
to her duties. they will. Of course, be
many, but ali pleasant ones. 1 had
tabulated a list OF themi here It is. To
begin with, she must always ask after
my health every morning"
Are YOU I'll, then?" / inquired sym.
pathetically. although a tribe lnered-
ulousiy. OF my blooming visitor.
"oh, no; but I couldn't possibly keep
a maid who neglected to ask me daily
how felt 1t makes such a vast diff.
ference; II you've never tried II you've
no idea how much good it does. Why,
! parted with Ellza-who vas SO well
recommended and so industrious
only because I couldn't ever train her
70 DO It. Can you imagine? Why, !
SAID 70 her nee; Eliza. I've cut my
fnger 70 the bone (and so I had), and
what do you think she answered. Just
Nes'm.' and in such an Indifferent
tone. too-exactiy as IL I had said
that I wanted hot water or a letter
posted. ot urss l had to give her
notice"
"And after the Useful Maid has duly
inqdired after your health" ! OBJ
served. what other duties has the
day In store for her?"
"Qh. then she must lust rooms
said ClorindA. ''Then. at IL. she mus.
appear faultlessly neat. aud say.
Please. ma'am. do you wish an,
shopping doneg She must keep m,
Eeeounts-Q lost two pounds las.
week)-tell me when lunch Is ready
press me to eat. and always notice II
lost my appetite. or don't fancy III,
dishesi she must I'LL up all my socia
hiatuses (onH last week Marmaduk,
spd forgot to go TO a dinner party
abe must write my letters. and doeke
my correspondence" q doubt
clorlnda knew the exact meaning o
docket" but possibly she thought /
sounded well.)
'Thep. she must eonade in me,
Qlorinda went on. THAT IL a mos
Important point; ! could never keep
eerSant who didn't tell ne ali abou
Der love Affairs. and generally make
friend Of me. How can yoI
live In the house with some one .
near 10 you Al a Useful Maid, II 20.
don't mutually feel you eau love an.
trust each other7 It's so Immature
otherwise. Why, / though
that you. being In a way a Social Den
oerat. would have had something {
pay on that headi"
q thought TO myself that the Usehl
Aaid. very possibly. might have som,
Thing 10 "a on Il. too-but / abstain
cd from eommcnt)
cloTinda was now In fun swing. sh
Keemed. indeed. for the moment Qui,
ohlivicus Of the fact that her "treal
uro" was merely a hypothetical on,
-sho must DO musical. too" she wer
On, FOR MarmRduke loves playing n
violin; and she must have views aboJ
ibssn and things; but perhaps not ia
nany views. for MRrmaduko likes /
60 most OF the talking
All that seemed terribly susgestiy
u future complications; but l for
bore To disturb Clorihda's innocence
/, "Aad ahe must be interested NJ
oniy IL MArmaduks md me. but ia a