Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-10-31
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night. Proprietor Must it be rebuilt?
Cierk-oh. no; light it UPTOWN
Topics.
Say, mamma queried little Mary
ELLEN. what's dead letter?" Any
letter that IS given to your father to
mail, my dear" replied the wise moth
er-Chlcago News.
Now" said the teacher, can you
tell me anything about Hawaiian
Yes" replied Henry; its the tune
that made Longfellow famous Chi
cago Record Herald.
An old Scotchwoman. when advised
bX her minister to take snuff to keep
herself awake during the sermon, re-
piled: Why dinm ye put the snuff
in the sermon. mon?"
Frank-I've got even with James at
last. Edward How Jill you do it?
FrankI gave his girl pair of pretty
vases, and he viii be ruined in keeping
them filed with flowers
Mistress Bridget. don't you think
you can get along without SO much
company? l am sure no one else would
stand il. Bridget--Sure, maam, thot's
why Dim staying wild ye.
Mr.. Nozzlcton," She said, If YOU
try to hug and kiss me again / shall
call papa Where is Your fathcrP"
lie asked Hes III the Yellowstone
Park. Chicago Rccord-Herald
Does your Wife do much fancy
work = Fancy work? She won't
even let a porous plaster come into
the house without crochetng a red ber-
der round it and running yellow rib
bon through the holes.
Smith May l make conndant of
you? Jones' Why, certainly. Smith
Well. I'm hard mp and want ten
pounds Jones You can trust me:
am ms silent as the grave have
heard nothing ~pick-Me-up.
Newly Bride Mamma says
she does not think we will ever quar-
rel as she and papa do Groom New
er, dearest. Newly made Bride No;
she says you viii ne much easier to
manage than papa was. -Tit-Bits.
Algy -Gwacc has hahwid father.
When | awskcd him for her hand 1
said, Love for your daughter has
dwiven me hawf cwasy. Cholly--And
then deah boy? Then the old bwute
said. Has, Ell? Won, who completed
the jobT
Hes an inventive genius. ana the
most successful aud prolific one ever
heard Of" Always iuyentlng some
thing new. ohf" No; he's always IN
venting something old and making the
public believe il's new" Philadcl
phia Press
The presence OF mind of an impecu-
NOUS lover was illustrated recently at
bazaar, where there was a stall for
the sale OF watch charms. "Oh.
George" said the lady. buy me-
charm sarah" answered he, "you
have too many already
Miss Eomauz OF course, you've
read that new love story of his2 MIR
Crahhe reviewer -Tcs. / had TO- Very
realistic, wasn't It? Miss Romana-.
Oh, the idea Why, the dialogue be-
tween the lovers was perfectly silly.
Mr.. Crabbe -~ Philadelphia
Press
Fritz, a German lad, and little Tom
were very fond Of each other although
neither could understand what the
other said why. Tommy" said his
father your playmate does not speak
English, does beF" NO" said Tommy,
but when a bumblehee stnng him yes
terday he cried in English, and ] I'm
derstood him.
Your huband, madam" said The
cAicf of police has been arrested ON
the charge Of arson" What's that
mean" demanded the woman. ut
means that he Is accused of starting
the fire ut his place OF business
that" Nonsense! I've been mar
rled to that man twenty years, and he
never would start the FIRE"
Mrs Scrooge--I am writing to ask
the Browns to meet the Joneses here
at dinner. and TO the Joneses TO meet
the Browns. We owe them both an
invitation, you know. Mr.. Scrogge-
But I've heard they've just quarreled
and don't speak, Mrs. ScrOoge-I
know. They'll refuse, and we needn't
give a dinner party at all!-Tit-Bits.
one day when little Elsie came
home from school her mother asked
her what she had learned that day.
Elsie replied, II learned to spell man"
Tell me how you spell 1t, dear" said
mamma. MAN, man. replied Elsie.
And how do you spell boy?" You
spell it the same way, only with small
or letters" replied Elsie, after a mo-
mcut's thought.
Scene-Platform Of suburban sta
ton. Small crowd looking out for the
King Edwards Special, due TO pass
through on its way 10 Port Victoria.
city What's It all about? Por-
ter with knowing winD--Dook o
Lancaster going through directly, snr.
city Man-Neyer heard OF anybody
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