The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1903-12-19
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ters husbands mother-in-law, grimly. ,
Houston Post.
Fond Mother-My darling. 1t is bed
time. All the little chickens have gone
to bed. Little Philosopber-Yes, man.
ma, and so has the old hen--Woman's
Home Companion
dis world amt square growled
little Mickey. why not? asked Jim
my. "'Cause the only ones dat get
free peanuts are elephants and police
men."-Chicago News
Anxious Mother-Willie, dear, do you
ever have any trouble with the otheE
little boys at school7 Willie-Nawl l
lick one Of 'em every once In while,
but that amt the least bit OF trouble
Chicago Tribune
Mrs. A.-Your husband smoking
lagair! Why, l thought you insisted
that he should give 1t up. Mrs. IL
did, dear, but then found such a pref
ty smoking-jacket at a bargain sale
Chicago Daily News.
Helping His Wife: Wife, have
been thinking l ought to give you
birthday present, Howard Husband
Oh, very well. Just write down what
1t shall be, and I'll buy 1t on my way
uptown.-Town Topics.
Friend-Now that you have made
NJ illions, what will you dol Old Bul,
lion-I shall retirs, and amuse myself
telling pspople what 4 burden wealth
is. and how happy 1 was when was
poor.-New York Weekly.
After the Wedding: But they told
me you had money" And they bun
coed me into thinking you were rich"
"Well, what's to be done about lit"
Lets fall In love just for spite. Gin
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
do you believe that the American
people like to be humbugged" mo,
SIR" answered the sturdy patriot,
but when they find anyone smart
enough to do 1t they can't help takin'
off their hats to him."-Washington
Star.
Beyond Expectation: Mr.. Jones-Ses
herel This horse you sold me runs up
on the sidewalk every time he sees an
auto. Horse Dealer-Well, you don't
expect a fifty-dollar horse to run up a
telegraph pole or climb a tree, do you'll
Judge.
Girl In the Grand Stand-Isn't that
cruel game? Do you think It's fair
for a dozen men to pile themselves on
top of the poor fellow that has the
banf Her Escort-No; there oughtn't
to be more than eleven CT them, any
way.-Chicago Tribune.
information: Hello" said the
neighborly bore, what are you build
ing the new chicken house forr
why" replied Nettles. "for flock Of
, pink carmels, of course. You didn'i
! suppose I'd put chickens in 1t. die
{ Philadelphia Public Ledger.
) Weren't you nervous at the wed
, ding" asked the sympathetic chap
with all those people looking at your
81 nervousT' repeated the recent bene
dict. "Why should be nervous? No
body looked at me; I was only tn
groom, you know."-Cincinnati Times
Star.
, In Kentucky: Ascum-I don't knoy
whether your head over the artici
about Colonel Lushman's death wa
printed the way you intended, but
: was a good one. City Editor-Let m
: see. What was lit Ascum-Ha
fought his last bottle.-Philadelp
Press.
Citiman-What' the matter with a
t you Lonesomehunters? Newcomb's
s decent sort of fellow, and yet you a
d appear to hate him. Suburbs-No VOL
v derl He went and bought his wife
O sealskin coat last week, and our home
e are no longer peacefuL-Philadelphi
e Press.
Mamma, what is Topsy's oth'
Manner ''Topsy in the playr l don
know, dear; just Topsy. that's all
e "Oh, she has another name. l hear
n lpapa speak 1t yesterday. but l can
If think Of it now. Oh, yes, l rememb
d its Topsy Turveyr'-Kansas Gil
Journal
How did you like DR.. Fourth
last Sunday morningT asked Mrs. OF
4 castle; don't you think he indulge
q, rather freely In mixed metaphor
e, "Goodnessl l didn't notice. Did
have It right there In the pulpit? Til
will be a terrible blow to Josiah f
thinks SO much of the doctor. CT
~ caxo Record Herald.
IN The Rule Of Three: zone week fro
n to-day, Uncle John, win be a marri
to man. Yes, In seven short days | W
n be initiated into the mysteries Of ms
tn rimony." mo mysteries about 1t,
h. boy. 1t is just the plain. simple n
n of three" Rule OF three? Eh-wh
It's three?" wife mother-in-law, a
be hired girl"-Kansas City Journal
ISL "How's your mother?" asked
III neighbor. worried to death"
or swered the boy, who was swinging
the front gate: fathers hunting In
- Adirondacks, brother Bills gone to
- political convention brother JAG
Joined a football team, and the DIRE
maker has just told mother that sh
look a fright in mourning. "-Washii
ton Star.
4 His Qualification: Senator-T
friend that you want me to get g
eminent position for-you can recc
mend him as a man Of good ability
capable Of filing the place, | suppo
ronstituenA-Why. no. Senator, | ca