The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-08-09
Involved i'm a SENT.
mental Problem.
EDWARD w. TOWNSEND.

strong dat he couldn't cover it up. He
wasn't much of a mixer; sort of stood
off from de bunch, sizing EN- up to see
what one looked like de best buy for
Investment. But he wasn't shy of me
when he seen dat was opening bots.
"Pll have glass of de boy, me man."
he was saying, like it was a song he
was to oblige wit after dinner, and
was afraid he'd forget it. De more I
poured for him, de solemner he got,
and de shyer of de gailly- gailIy gang.
Duchess pipes de game when l was
solving him his 'steent glass, and she
WaltzeS around behind him. and passes
me de wink to get togedder. side
steps to her, and she begins to buzz
me like she was telling secrets, but I
was on dat she wanted de mug to hear.
Mon Dieui" says she, "M'sieu Van
Courtlandt" = OATS Whiskers-''is in
grand favor wit Madam Harding
meaning Wildly.
l says, not knowing her game, and
playing light until could get next.
'Of soitainty," Duchess says, rub
bering to see did de mug toin his ear
our way-and he did. wit all of
Madam Hardings millions one would
not tink she would be willing to marry
again"
line. She's been married before, and
has de habit"
IF 1 had so much of de millions as
she, would not trun meself at de foist
gent dat asked" says Duchess, winking
at me to see de mugs ears getting red.
Den Duchess whispered so law dat
he couldn't hear no more, so pretty
soon he TONED to US, and says, Mann
zelle, expected to meet a Mrs. Hard
ing here today. Is she aboard?"
Duchess pointed out Wildly. and
says, Dat Is Mrs. Harding" and he
was off like de barrier was sprung; and
Duchess chases down to de cabin wit
me. IF it is only little jealousy dat
| Whiskaire needed, we have provided it
| for him." she says.
Say, honest, you never saw an am
bulance get so busy on hurry call, as
dat long-green hunter got busy wit
Wildly. l no sooner was passing de
next bottle dan he had a seat by her
side; and If ever dare was gailly-g ailly
in a mugs gig lamps, den 1T was in his.
1t takes a strong jolt of dat kind to
break Widdy's guard, for she's handy
| at de game herself, when dere's not
| ting else to do; but she was wondering
| what had happened, for de mug acted
| like he wanted to land knockout in de
| foist rally. But, before a round could
| be timed, Duchess goes to Wildly wit
wrap, and says, Madam is chilly" and
| leans over her and passes void to
her ear. Den Wildly seems near dying,
| trying not to laugh.
She played ball as hard as de felly
| did, after dat; and l seen WhiskerS
| looking like he had a pain in his tenn
! per, and noting to take for it. He tried
| to butt into de center, and Wildly
wouldn't see him, and Whiskers got as
| red as his whiskers. But de old gent is
| a slayer when he wants to be, and be-
fnrs 11JTon r. nod
| whip bote in action. and him and de
| mug was neck and neck.
l offers Duchess even money, take
her choice, and she picks Whiskers.
; Duchess interfered. After lunch she
| goes to Wildly wit parasol, and when
| she was behind her she gives de wise
eye to de Doodle bargainer, and he says
| he will look out for seats out of de sun,
| and folleys Duchess to quieter part OF
| de deck. where she says to him. Par
! don. Msteu, but when you asks for a
| Nine. Harding. was it de wealty Nine.
Harding you was speaking Off"
"Ah-er-Well-to be sure-I heard
dat she was wealthy" he says.
oh" says Duchess. dat Nine.
Harding didn't come today. Dat Nine.
Harding on board is not de wealty one.
1 would not wish to confuse Msieu."
Say. he goes away back stern. and
| sits down, where dere is no one to talk
l.
opens fresh quart and leaves it along
| side of him, and he didn't open his
face to anything else all day.
Whiskers looked around at him. now
and den. like a CRATER watching for
| cops, but never strayed again from
| Widdy's side.
DO you fancy dat wrap you brought
me dis afternoon" Wildly says to
Duchess when we was landed.
"Ah, madame. confection exquisei"
says Duchess. rolling her eyes like she's
been raped on de coco.
IF you tink it as handsome as dat,
you may have it." says Wildly.
I win." Duchess says to me dat
night.
rs Whiskers under de wire foist?"
asks.
mo. but he had such-what you say
such scare trun into him dat he'll
never stop riding hard until he win.
Pay your bet. Chances"
It's not soivantS business to be
| mixing up in affairs of DER betters,"
says, for when Duchess touched me for
| de bet saw dat we'd done wrong to be
SO fresh wit Whiskers' business.
yield up, Chames. and look cheer
full" dat saucy goil says. "Be a willing
loser. It's good for your temper II
| ladies' maids and gentlemen's men
never took a hand in matchmaking,
| cooks would forget how to make we'd
QlnS cake. LIE likes of you and me,
Chames, sees tings from de inside and
we knows what is good for de folks we
solve better dan dey knows. Wed be
| wicked if we didn't use our knowledge
| for to promote happiness. Smood out
your manners. Master Chances, and
yield UP gracefully. If you're good. III
| let you see me in de new robe I'll buy
for what I'll sell de wrap Wildly give
me. She appreciates my kindness in
keeping de cool breezes off her"
Dere was no breeze. You're a med
| ding maid" says.
Tut. Chames," says she. would
you be de only one not to appreciate
| your wife? You have a treasure in me.
| Chames. And it is wicked of you not
to say so every hour Of de day. Open
your purse, mon ami. and pass over de
| dollar l win from you. See. house.
keeper has given me half a cold chick
| EN- told her how young she was
| looking-and butler has given me a
| bottle of claret-I heard you jolly him
so we will have little supper before
| We sleep; and dat will help you remem-
Der what an excellent wife you have in
me. Your purse, mon cherii"
| l was in such a trance wit de Jolly
| dat l didn't notice till de next day dat
it was two-dollar bill-me only one!
dat she took, stead of a one.
| Say, it's all right to have a careful
wife. but if Duchess sets much more
| carefuller I'll have tn lead a douhIa