davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28


"You have heard my daughter sing.
What would you advise us to do?,
"Send her abroad at oncer!-Cleyeland
Plain Dealer.
Jack told me l was not like other
girls" That's what he tells all Of us.
He's read somewhere that all women
are different Louisville Times.
Mary had a little lamb
And that wound up the score:
She boarded in a boarding house
And dared not ask for more.
Brooklyn Life.
TOurist-"Did you-er-ever shoot a
man" Bronco Bill-"No, lady, I've
plugged a few Indians, greasers an
dudes, but l never killed a humanw-
Puck.
The call had become tedious. II
really must co." he said. "Oh, you
men are such deceivers. she returned
coyly. II wish we girls could believe
all you say."-Chicago Post.
sharpe-"Why, yes, I was at church
last Sunday" Kloseman-ssWere you,
really? Strange I didn't see you"
Sharpe-"O! not at all. 1 took up the
collection. "-Philadelphia Press.
Here's a mighty little question,
But it causes lots of worry;
Why do shoestrings never break ex-
Cept when one is in a hurry.
Baltimore American.
whats the matter with Primly? 70
'Nhy. he went home with a new hat
the other day, and it didn't fit very
well. and so his wife cut his hair away
wherever it stuck."-Sioux City Tri-
bune.
Mifkins-"That scoundrel Johnson
called me an idiotw! BifkinsE"He
didn't prove it, did he" Mifkins-"No;
but Bifkins-sThen I'd advise
you let the matter drop, or he might"
Chicago News.
do your neighbors sing the latest
songs of the day?" asked the landlord.
Il shouldn't object to that" answered
the sad-eyed tenant, their speciality
is the latest songs of the night
Washington Star.
Sit! cried MI. PeckSn1n, tndig-
nantly, "how dare you accuse me Of
such things? My reputation, sir, is
spotless." "Your reputation may be,
SIR" replied the detective, 9but you're
not. We spotted you some time ago.
Philadelphia Press.
Don't you think it would be a great
scheme to get out on the stump and
make a few speeches. Not a bit Of
it," answered Senator Sorghum. "As
long as a man is willing to let his
money do the talking, nobody is going
to make fun Of his grammar."--Wash-
ington Star.
"But you cannot fence" said the
German university student, who had
his face pretty well plastered up. mo-"
admitted the American college youth.
But Til tell you what I'll do. If you
will go up against n of II football
games Til make a try Of one of your
Heidelberg duels.'-Chicago Post.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28
Aged Sisters, Renninn

A meeting of three sisters. the
youngest seventy-e eight years old, occu-
pied the residence of Mrs. NJ. A. Be-
dine, in Hammonton, a few days ago.
The trio are Miss E. w. Evans, Of An
cora, who is in her ninety-frst year
Mrs. Bodine, aged eighty-six years, and
Mrs. John w. snowden, of Philadel-
phia, widow Of the late DR.. J.. W.
Snowden. Miss Evans is very tall and
erect much the youngest looking of
the sisters, and does not look to be over
sixty at the most. Mrs. Bodine is an
invalid and not able to leave her room.
Mrs. Snowden is remarkably preserved
for her age.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28
Woman Evangelist Arrested.

Mrs. Katherine Rice, a street evan.
gelist, who was arrested charged with
d~isorderly conduct in blocking the
street leading to the Asbury avenue pa
vilion. at Asbury Park, by drawing
crowds, was found guilty and fined by
Police Justice Borden. She refused to
pay the fine or to allow a sympathizer
to pay it for her, declaring that she
would rather be in Jail with principle
than at liberty having lost it. City
Counsel Hawkins offered to recon-
mend to the court that Mrs. Rice be
given her liberty on condition that she
promise not to hold any more street
meetings until she had secured a IL
cense. Mrs. Rice, however, refused to
bind herself to such a promise. She
conducted her own case.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28
PENIS GROVE, N. j., FRIDAY. AUGUST IS. 1908.
EQUALIZATION.

IF pictures told the truth,
How fine the world would be!
How smooth the mountain way would
seem!
How kind the billowing sea!
The humblest cot by ruin touched
Would be the best, in sooth.
The road were easy to conos.s.
If pictures told the truth.
The rural shepherdess would be
As beauteous as the queen,
And simple toll and strength would stand
In majesty serene.
And though the years might pass, each face
Would hold the lines Of youth
And life would be just what it should
If pictures told the truth.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28
Lone Boy Swimmer Drowned.

The eleyen-year-old son Of Carlton
LOyeland was drowned at Mount Holly
while in swimming in ne lower branch
of the Rancocas Greek, neal the rail-
road station. The nude body of the
lad, whose name was Carlton, Jr., was
found floating in the stream near the
'sbog" railroad bridge. The fact that
the boy was accustomed to going in
bathing was not known to his parents
until the sad news was reported to
them.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28
Menaced by Shortage Of Help.

~Proprietors of South Jersey glass
factories fear that they will be COM
PEELED to import labor to operate the
factories this season again. Expert
ence thus far shows that help win be.
exceedingly scarce. So many blow
ers who have worked in the West for
several years have decided to remain
East this year that there is a shortage
of workmen in Ohio and Indiana.
Many letters and kilograms for men
are coming from that section.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28
Labor World.

Porto Rico will try convict labor.
FfnIay, Ohio, tailors have formed a
union.
Ropemakers in China, working ten
hours, get thirty cents a day.
Textile machine makers are report
ed as being poorly employed in Ian
cashire, England.
Union bakers at Columbus, Ohm.
will organize the cracker handlers and
bread statesmen.
At the beginning OF the year there
were 10000 women members Of lal1o1
unions IN New York State.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28
Anthrax Hurts the Dairymcn.

Dairymen Of Salem County have had
hard work in selling their milk since
the recent outbreak of anthrax among
the cattle there, but Veterinarian Rog-
ers, of Woodbury., who has been there
daily, states that there need be no fear,
as it is next to impossible to spread the
germs by means Of milk from infected
cows.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28
GETTING Big PRICES For Pickles.

Farmers around Williamstown who
depended upon the proceeds of their
pickle crops to keep up the expenses
are in hard luck. as the crop is a fail
ure there. The few farmers who did
not contract with picking houses early
in the spring are receiving unheard Of
prices for what few they have.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28
Fish Nibble Cost His Life.

A fish nibbling at his line so excited
Frank Yagliski, a Polander, that he
lost his balance and tumbled into the
Christfana River at a wharf in Will
mington, Del, and drowned before the
gaze of several companions, too terror
stricken to render any aid.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28
KILLED by an Express Train.

John Skillman, horse dealer, and
friend of Buffalo Bill" was instantly
killed at Railway by the Chicago ex-
press. A train standing at the station
hid the oncoming express and the gates
were open. His horse was also killed
outright and his buggy demolished.
Skillman leaves a widow and two chill
dren.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28

William Truland, lightweight years
old, and who had been a well-known
fisherman on the Delaware since boy
hood, died at his home in BordentOwn.
His sister died a few days ago at the
age Of seyenty-fve years.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28
Manchurian Open Door.

Recent developments indicate that
Russia does not intend that the Man
churian open door shall be attractive to
other countries, and means to monopo-
lie the trade as much as possible.
The Penn's Grove record., 1903-08-28

IA Italian cotton mills men receive for
fWo< nsday, women thirtysthfeS
and children sixteen cents OF th4
used l6A( year $4,000 tons came
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21
WAY STATIONS

A scheme has been prepared for carry
ing out an underground railway in Man
chester, England, with connections with
the principal out-districts.
Our 2OO. 900 miles Of railway transport
900. O00. 900 tons Of original freight. not
including Implications, and pay 100000
operatives, exclusive Of officers, $780,
100000.
Nottingham, England. a city Of ESQ.,
900, has owned its street railways for
two years and at a fare. Of two cents
mile made a profit Of II per cent. per
annum on the capital invested.
There will be SO tunnels on the route
Of the new Denver, Northwestern and
Pacific railway within a distance Of 26
miles, through the Rockies. 1t is esti-
mated that It will require SOC. 900 pounds
Of powder to blast 81 miles Of this route.
Four Track News.
The Highland railway company Of
Great Britain announces that It has
completed arrangements for telephone
communication between trains and sta
lions on its line, thus not only greatly
lessening the danger Of wrecks on the
road but also enabling its passengers
TO communicate with friends and busi-
ness associates while travelling from
place to place.
At the beginning Of the last century
the royal college Of Bavarian physicians
sought to forbid steam railway travel,
because It would induce delirium fu-
riosum among the passengers and drive
the spectators crazy; while an English
quarterly said that It would as soon ex-
peet the people TO suffer themselves to
be tied to one Of Congreve's rockets as
to trust themselves to the mercy Of a
locomotive going at the prodigious rate
Of ~ miles an hour.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21
AIIONe WELL-To-Do PEoPLR


The duchess q Westminstsr lately
purchased q flexible ribbon q diamonds,
paying 800 900 therefor.
Norris Williams. Of Wnkesbarre. who
has Just been appointed president Of the
Pennsylvania Coal company. started his
work about the mines as 8 breaker boy
and has risen through en- the grades Of
mining 70 his present position, where he
controls millions Of dollars worth 81
property and commands 1890 men,
Just 70 prove that her husband. Ed
win D. Mooers. Is fully able to pay q. 600
q year alimony, Mrs. Mooers had intro
duced IN q New York city court the teEtf-
money that his liquor bin alone amounts
&c $500 q month. The defendant Is the
son Of a Texas millionaire and Is said
to own mining stock valued at 500 900.
James StIllman, president Of the Ma
tional City bank Of New York. is a man
Of few words, but he makes those few
count. A famous tip that he is said to
have given a friend two months ago
has leaked out In Wall street The
AAAEM4 WMEENA0L MA1AN " AAAAn NAAnAAE
for advice concerning the market He
had $4,000 and wanted to make II a
million. Here Is the reply Of Mr.. Still
man. written in lead pencil on q sheet of
paper 3x4: Polo ponies, steam yachts
and Newport villas are the best short
sales in the world"
What the Rothsehilds are to Paris and
London, so are the BI6lchrOeders to
Berlin-that Is, q power In the financial
world The ladies OF the great financial
families Of Europe enjoy all the priv
ileges and have none Of the crushing re-
sponsibilities Of royalty. Almost in
varably they rise to the occasion and
the charitable works organized by them
may be said to be as limitless in number
as they are In scope. This has always
been as true Of the wives and daughters
belonging to the house Of Bleichroeder
as It is Of the women who bear the hon
ored names Of Rothschild, Of Goldsmid
and Of Mocatta.
Chauncey NJ Depew recently said that
one Of the narrow escapes Of his lBfe was
when he refused, some 30 years ago, to
advance $4,000 to help Alexander era
ham Bell and his father-in-law, the late
Gardiner Hubbard, to develop the newly
invented talking telegraph" Mr.. De
pew was then counsel for the Harlem
railroad and Mr.. Hubbard a railway mail
inspector. Had I accepted the PROPOSE
tion,' Mr.. Depew said, Il would be worth
to-day about 100000 or my estate
would, for with this vast wealth should
have had no incentive to healthy work,
! should have deteriorated and should
probably now be dead and forgotten"
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21
DESERT NOW A GARDEN.
IFriEatiOn-Flne Crops Raised
on Land Once Barren.

The popular belief, dating back for 50
years, that the slopes Of the Rockies and
the intervening valleys were at for moth
ing but mining enterprises and would
never be Of agricultural value would be
severely shaken II the old-time pessi-
mists could travel for q week through
this portion Of the San Juan country,
says a Durango (Col.) dispatch. For
many miles In all directions hourishing
fields are literally poisoning like the
summer rose. All Of the cereals do well
In the nelghborhOod and the root crops
are Of the finest quality. Irrigation,
which has done so much for other sec
tons Of the formerly unproductive west,
has worked wonders In this part Of Col
orado and the possibilities Of irriRtiDg
bitches, fed By the inexhaustible SHOWS
Of the mountains. are just beginning to
be fully understood Considerable cap
ital win be invested IN irrigating works
IN this country during the next two
years.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21
TNKET-0F-LRAVB MEE.



"A Stafford (England) magistrate
says be knows ticket-0f-leave men who
drive uD 70 he police station n car
riages 70 report themselves. leaving the
omcss with smiling faces. The police,
Who should AnoW, say they would like
q see them
sllosl o. these sx-conYicts reporting
their Whereabouts % us come to the
station wearing odd boots" said city
police oncer. sThey scarcely have the
money to pay for 4 drink. much less
= cab. while carriage Is out Of the
question"
While such cases may be uncommon,
however. the fact remains that there are
men who. leaving 4 penal establish
ment, return 70 enjoy nl-gOtten wealth
and 70 partake Of the pleasures Of idle
ness. says the London Mail Three
years ago q business man who had suf-
fered imprisonment for serious charges
q fraud drove up to a police station
to report himself. leaving in q smart
brougham outside his two we'll
dressed daughters. and wearing the tail
hat and frock coat Of respectfully. He
asked for the superintendent in the
airiest Of manners, saying he had TO see
him on "a matter Of private business. "
Only the severe and gruf manager Of
the station sergeant, who recognized
him, brought him to realize his position.
The man whom the Stratford magis-
trate sent 70 Jail for HIS failure to re-
port himself every month said that he
had been turned away from his work
and lodgings on two occasions when It
was discovered that he had to call at
the police station periodically. He
could scarcely have known that With
the home secretary's permission ex-
eonviets are allowed to report them
selves BY letter.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21

The novel house Of Eugene Petit q
Freneh architect turns 10 the sun At
the WIN 81 its occupants Il Is mount
"a IN q steel platform, which Il rotated
on ban bearings By pinlon gsared IN
: circular sst Of tssth. An ordinary
thrse-stoSy dwelling can Be turned b.
Two men. Water. gas and electricity are
brought IN through q central passage
and sewage finds IT. exit n . similar
va. Houses 81 this kind. costing not
more nan ten per cent above the Or
dinary. are required for TIE patisnts
o. ~. FelisgFin. TIE advocate q hsil-
otheFapy
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

Borrowed trouble commands the high
est rate Of interest.
An absent-minded woman forgets
everything-except herself.
When the members Of a woman's club
quarrel they call It a debate.
Some theories are like gunpowder-
most useful when exploded.
No amateur play Unsatisfactory unless
all the feminine parts are heroines.
Some self-made people seem to have
got the material at bargain counter.
The average girl believes the proper
time to marry Is the frst time she's
asked.
The dog Is mans best friend. When
q man has q cold the dog never tells him
what to do for It.
It's as dimcult 70 see how money
makes the man as It Is to see how some
men make their money.-Chicago Daily
News.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21

From on and after this date The
Broad Az can be found on sale a. Tie
following places:
The Afro-American News once.
21O4 State Street.
A. F. TervalonS Cigar store and
News Stand. 2s2s state street
Edward Felix's Cigar Store. sss
sOth street, N. b Corner Armour ave.
T. B. Halls Cigar store and
Laundry once. 2s1 2sth St.
Turner Williams Cigar ana News
Stand. 2e05 Armour Ave.
Mrs. L. ,. Early, groceries and no
lions. 1888 State st.
H. Winston's Cigar Store and News
stand. ESQ. 29th st.
The Stationery, 1910 State street
J. c. Campbell, las W. 9th street,
Cigars, Tobacco. Staple Groceries.
VIM. H. Monroe, cigar and neWB-
stand. 4ss State street.
]. New 131 W. 51st street, cigars.
tobacco and confectionaries-
c. E. Hunter, 45O3 Wentworth ave-,
cigars, tobacco, news stand
S. B. Bridges, Cigars and Stationary
Store. 1920 Lake avenue.
VIM. Dixon 1888 State Street
cigars, tobacco, and news stand.
Isidor Jacobson, cigars, togacco and
stationery, 3149 State St.
VIM. GOetz, News Stand and Laun-
dry once. AL E. seth st.
News items and advertisements Iefi
at these places will ind their way
into the columns Of The Broad Ak.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21

Emperor William has lately reviewed
q feathered veteran Of the German
army. One Of his regiments has q pet
maybe. which e fun Of militarIsm and
very proud Of It's parade step. When
the kaiser visited the regimental quar-
tiers recently he asked for this accom-
plIshed bird. A French illustrated pa
per publishes 8 picture Of the incident
there Is the kaiser sitting sternly II
the saddle and there e the maybe with
Its martial stride and there are the
Omcsrs Of the regiment with mingled
anxiety and pride plainly marked on all
their faces.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21
PROVERBS UP 10 DATE.

Nothing cones Of nothing" but Jon
had best not quote this 70 the father Of
worthless son.
eLet the shoemaker stick TO his last. /"
but he had best know Somsthing about
collecting bills.
@Birds Of feather flock together. !
but q blond woman usually consider
q brunette her best fol-.
sThe cracked pitcher goes most oilen
30 TIE ven, and the prima donna's last
public appearance q big house niier
~rhs eyes are the windows o. %.
soul get 3 lover Is satiEisd as hs gAas,
into TIE Hdark depths" Of ny iadyl
eToa-N. =. Herald
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21
AN ODD CASE.
This McR- Learned 60 Spell Three
Times and Cant spen NOW
His Curious story.


Think Of man learning how to spell
three times and then not being able to
spell correctly" said an obsarvant man
who takes an interest in subjects Of this
sort, according to the New Orleans
Times-Democrat, 'and you viii have my
case summed up exactly. am not what
you would call a bad speller by any
manner Of means. But / stumble now
and then, and stumble badly. Why Is
III Il is the simplest thing In the world.
I grew up in the country, attended
country school. and my first spelling
was under the rules Of the old-time
school teacher. l learned how TO spell
on my feet II Is curious fact that for
long time / could not spell the simplest
words unless I stood up. Standing
could spell anything. and, in fact, was
always the winner in the spelling bee.
No one could turn me down, as we
used to say in the country. Wen. after
this learned how to spell with my pen
ell. All my spelling talent went into the
pencil. Ny tongue forgot the art, and
whether standing or sitting. could not
spell a word unless Il belonged to the
simpler kind without using my pencil.
Now began to use the typewriter, and
consequently had to learn how to spell
again Ask me how to spell a word now
and viii have to 90 to the typewriter
unless the word is a very simple one.
Ny tongue won't spell It and my pen
ell win refuse to write It. So have
learned to spell three times, and as I
said before am not q good speller yet"
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21
mentaI ReaerratIon.

Madge-It isn't long ago you told me
you'd never again wear any but common
sense shoes.
Dolly-But I didn't know then. my
dear, that high heels would be in fash
ion again.-ToWn Topics.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21

slnstah Pinkley," said Miss Miami
Brown. 'you sings jes, like you was a
q Deed, Miss Miami" was the re-
joinder, IF was a bird ! reckon
wouldn't be able to sing. I'd be q
chicken hawk. Star.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21

Old Grumpps-Sure that girl loves
you instead Of your money?
Son-Absolutely Why. she actually
keeps count Of the kisses ! give her.
Old Grumpps-Hum! That's bad.
she may keep It up after marriage
n. =. Weekly.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21
Eai.r.s Al she Poo ofacs a. chisagO.
msusssond-eIau Msiirr.


ut was q brave and manly act,
young man, said the millionaire AT
the risk Of your own life you rushed
into ths burning building and saved
my only daughter from horrible fate.
How can I reward you2"
oh. don't know" replied the hero.
do you think q couple Of dollars
would Be TOO muehG "-Cineinnati En-
rnlrnr
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21

eWhen you were counting me" said
the annexed lib, you said life was
only q lOFely-dream."
''Ah, yes, sighed the ex-dreamer,
but what a rude awakening had!"-
-Chicaeo Daily News.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21
Good Advice.

What am l going to do?" he cried as
he emerged from the water. "A thief
stole my clothes?"
well" replied the stranger who hap
pened along and naturally noted his con-
dition, Il can't think Of anything better
than to go back in swimming again. -
Chicago Post.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21
what He Meant.

The Ills thar are easiest to bear. /"
said the philosopher, are
Il know. I know, interrupted the
friend. You mean to say that, when
you get right down to 1t, the ills that
are the easiest to bear are the real.
rather than the imaginary ones that
seem 50 great"
"0n the contrary, ! mean that the
ms that are easiest to bear are the ills
Of other people. "-Chicago Post
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21

Jack-My darling. I want to tell you
something have deceived you. am
not rich. WIN It make any difference
to yo13
Ethel-NOt the slightest. Jack.
4 am 80 glad. Are you quite sure
It viii make no difference to your"
quite sure: I can marry old Mr..
Moneybags "-Tit-Bits-
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21

Tess-She's a remarkable woman;
not like other women at all
Jess-Why, I've never noticed It.
Tess-I have. L watched her making
bread the other day, and all the time
she had her hands in the dough she
didn't have to scratch her nose at all.
Philadelphia Press.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21
OuEht to Re.

Il don't understand" remarked
Smithers, what Peary wants to be al
ways going after the north pole for.
II must cost a lot to live up there"
1T does. generally speaking" replied
Smuthers. but just think how cheap
ice must be!"-Cineinnat Commercial
Tribune.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21

MotheF-If you hadn't encouraged the
young man he wouldn't have kissed you.
Daughter--O! mother. told him to
60 away.
Mother-You did,
Daughter-Yes. I.said. now. you go
way" every time.-PhiIadelphia Press.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21

yes; he disregarded the doctors
orders and Is now in the hospital"
Us. shg"
yes; the doctor told him not to
work 50 hard and the ehump went on
a vacation. Puck
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1903-11-21

Spokesman (of communicative
want you to come to the meeting Of
our society tomorrow evening and
give rs an address about an hour long.
Eminent Lecturer-To-morroW even
ingg That viii not sive me time to
prepare myself
) spokesman-Youu not need any
preparation. what we want you to
tank about is "HoW Our Newspapers
Ought to Be Conducted. ''-Chieago Tri-
bune