davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

ments of freedom. and after some par
ley with a policeman I succeeded in
convincing that fuffctionary that. de-
spite the drivers protests, it was his
duty to send the animal to the hospi-
TAI Tor repairs. The fallen horse, ]
thought, glanced gratefully at me when
this decision was reached. and was
struck at once with the idea that I had
seen him somewhere before. There
was something familiar in that glance
of the eye. and resolved to follow the
incident up and find out If 1 could
something of the antecedents of the
suffering roam
The following morning called at the
hospital of the Society for the Preven-
ton of Cruelty to Animals and was
presently ushered into the nervous
prostration ward. to which I was told
my equine friend had been committed.
and there he lay with a bandage about
MS head and his off hind leg swathed
in lint and liniment
Il thought I'd stop in and see how
you We're getting along" said l. Some
how OF other I've taken an interest in
you, for your face Is strangely fami-
lar and l feel as if we had met some
where before"
THANK you.'' he replied, in the Ian
guage of the Houyhnhnms, which had
studied in special course of languages
at the American Veterinary college,
and therefore understood tolerably well,
though unable to speak 1t with that
neighsal accent which its cacophonies
require. 1--WE have met before. 1 saw
you at the roof garden show the other
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06
RY JoHN KENpRIck BANGS.

The first time 1 saw him he was per-
forming on the stage of roof garden.
and 1t seemed to me that there was a
sheepish look in his eye as he went
through the more or less futile acts
which constituted his turn" He
danced two-step with a great deal of
grace, but in a deprecatory sort of
way. as much as to say, Gay work,
this, for horse, ell ?" and when, as
the acme of his evenings task, he
came before the audience and Invested
himself of a suit of sordid bahamas
preparatory to climbing into a bed
about as big as an English billiard ia
ole, there was that in his face that de-
noted an inward disapprovaI of his own
behavior. 1 left the roof that night
feeling rather sorry for the poor beast.
so far removed as he was from his
natural environment and true field of
usefulness. But then, I am always
sorry for living beings, some of them
human, who, to earn their daily bread,
are compelled to do, all sorts of alb
surd and abnormal things for the de-
Iectation of the public. Hence, my
sympathy with the four-footed per
former was of a transitory nature and
was forgotten before 1 awoke the next
morning.
A few days later, however, I saw
him again. and 1t happened in this
wise. AS 1 was walking up town the
Following Thursday from my morning
visit to Wall street, where I have a
small but beloved margin that is slow
~ but surely wasting away, having
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

dan de gent wit tallow legs has wit
! Satan. Even his English is like Mr.
PauPs already; and 1 never let de
| neighbors hear him talk, for fear of de
Shame dey'd put on me for being de
| Grandmother of a dude"
It's de trute your modder is saying,
Chimmie, says Murphy You could
come back. to de ould war-rd and be
a Precinct Captain yourself, but yer
| own son couldn't get a pushcart Ii
cenSe in de war-rd wit all dis Jude
langwudge he do be learning. Lave
de lad go to Park Row and sell papes
for year, and he'll be as good a
American as amy of us. Remember
how worser dan a tootless child it is to
| cherish snake in de bosom of de
FAMILY, as Saint Patrick says, rest
his sowl!"
Dat was pretty strong argument,
for fair, and I says to Duchess we'd
better be letting de kid get a little
learning, instead of bordering his conk
wit all de foolish tings she and de
swell Mission teacher was putting into
him.
Oats some Of your advice, modder
Fadden." says Duchess, toining to de
old loidy
"Tll not deny it." modder says. ITS
de advice Mrs. Murphy and me would
o-tS W y ONt W. liz QcdI. lou re ais
good daughter as / ever hoped to
have, Hortense; dough I'll not deny
dat at foist grieved dat me son didn't
marry Yankee goil, what de Bowery
is full of EN- us would ge glad of de
chance"
Wit thoity-six bust, and foity
skoit; selling clocks in Grand street
stores" chips In Murphy.
BE DER busts what dey may" says
me modder, None of EN- would take
better care of Chimmies savings dan
me daughter Hortense Fadden'" She
says, giving Murphy a cold eye. But.
Hortense, me deary I'll tell you about
de Little Duke, as / see de trute:
dere's plenty of bread in de woild, as de
saying is, but not enough white
bread to go around, and never was
since before and after Robert Emmet
was hanged, which Chimmie's gread
ladder carried a pike In de blessed year
of 49,"
'Hooroo!" yells Murphy.
"Dere's dem as tink dat bacon and
potatoes, and drop In de bottle.
comes by wishing, Hortense, me dear:
and While true it is dat you and
Chimmie has fine places, and never will
look in bare cupboard, there's dem az
goes to bed to forget hunger; but dew
never had de education dat Chinn5ie
had. So why not let Little Duke go
to de Row, and learn to sell papers, and
make sure dat he'll know how to earn
living, no matter if all your savings
are took by Providence"
Or de Trusts" says Murphy.
You are wise mama" saws
Duchess, ''but Providence don't count
when it comes to getting away de saw
1ngs dat French born goil has nut
by. Providence can do many smart
tlngs, but -" and she shrugged her
shoulders like she was giving Provi-
denee de laugh, and win Murphy's
herat SO dat Murphy says, What
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

L found out dat she was only jollying.
even when she talked about prentice
ing him TO de husband of her fren Julie
who keeps de restaurant.
Duchess wouldn't hear to de Kid 90
ing back to de old lady's, but fetches
MN along wit us up to de place on de
Sound; for Miss Fannie lets us have
de little one up dere when we wants.
and he eats wit us, in de housekeeper's
room. Duchess had long pow-woW
wit Miss Fannie about de game dat
night, and Miss Fannie was as inter-
ested as If it was her own kid dat hat
lost her h. Den Mr.. Paul was took
into de caucus, and den 1 was sent for;
and before we was settled dere was
more CUFF and gas about de PROPOSE
ton dan If de kid had lost his head
instead of t h. Miss Fannie votes
dat de youngster should be sent to a
swell little school dat is kept for de
kids of de smart set folks while de
divoice judges is making up DER minds
wedder de modders or ca ladders is de
best one to have de kids. But Duchess
baked. She said she didn't want de
kid in school where he would get de
wcise of it because his parents was
house SoiVantS
Den Mr.. Paul settles it. He said dat
he would enter kiddie as de son of a
ffen of his. Dat wouldn't go in most
SCHOOLS, but in dis school dere was
many a kid dat de school teachers
didn't know VINO it's pa and ma was.
All dat was wanted was dat de pas and
mas was respectable. and would pay de
bills. AS to responsibility, says Mr..
Paul Il tink dis cubs parents could
give cards to many of 'em, and show
to de good at dat"
So we is to be let to keep Little Duke
wit US until de school opens, and den
Mr.. Paul is to enter him, and see dat
he has fair crack at his h. What's
worrying me is what will be doing
when some silk-haired youngster gives
little Master Fadden any back talk.
Mostly dat elbow in de neck and de
heel at de same time isn't teached
where everything is gaily-ga on de
proposition. When Riddle springs
dat proposition on de gang only hope
1t will be out on de grass, and not on a
marble Joor, for desc silk-haired boys
has tin skulls.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

was a flick over my ears with his
whip"
You knew the way down better
| than he did, did you?" 1 asked
He was a New York cab driver"
said the Educated Horse, 'and he
didn't know the first thing about the
best method of getting from one place
In town to any other place. If he'd had
his way we'd travelled nine miles get
ting to the Pier, and his rickety old
wagon would have been jolted out of
all resemblance to anything that a
reasonable person would be willing to
ride in"
oh" said 1. you didn't let him
have his own way?"
mot l." said the Horse. ST haven't
! been educated for nothing. When he
tried to pull me over to the cobbles L
let him pull and chose my own path
1 went down Broadway all right in
spite of him. He disgraced the whole
outfit with his profane yells and mad
efforts to yank me west before the
psychological moment for moving west
arrived, but I pretended not to notice
and went ahead with as much dignity
as l could. I think it made him re-
sentful."
/ quite likely" I acquiesced. 1.-THE
average New York cab driver is not
overprone to patience when he can't
! have his own way on the public thor
oughfares."
| But" insisted the sufferer. looking
at me anxiously, you agree that /
was right. don't you? This man en-
! gagged me to do a certain kind of skill
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

ed work. with the doing of which I
was quite familiar. He had no bust
ness to stand over me and insist that
l should do 1t in any old way, or his
way, when mine was the most scien-
tifically approved method. had he?"
This was poser, but the poor crea-
to antagonize him.
You are suffering only as all highly
cultivated creatures suffer-" said I.
Our college graduates, when they go
down town have precisely the same ex-
perience that you had. and while I do
agree that from your point of view
you acted with some Justification, 1
am not surprised that the hackman
objected. 1t is way most employers
with sci. methods act, We can't all
have our own way in this, world. you
know"
HE said he wanted to go to the Fall
river pier and l took him there" said
the Horse. land, whether he knew it
or not. In the best way he could go in
the interests of himself. his cab and
your humble servant. who may be said
to have some rights in the matter"
Go on said I. 'I don't blame YOU.
What happened next? Did your
driver . l-l-. ass- BE-,
Don't say driver. I hate the term"
interrupted the PROSTATE equine. my
employer, yes. Driver. never! L shall
never consent to be driven"
Pardon me-" said 1. Il quite under
stand the distinction-your employer
what happened next?
He used language at me coming up
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

woik for Miss Fannie, and some odder
swells dat Miss Fannie touted for 'em,
and makes all sorts of money. Dere,s
silk haired goil dat Miss Fannie
knows, dat teaches the Mission school,,
VINO teaches de kid too and say, he's
dat rich wit his Iangwude dat / can't
hold him. He talks like a little edi-
ton of Mr.. Paul, and when the Duchess
says dat he'll be a president, or Alder
man, it don't sound so much like a pipe
talk as you'd tink. And he's Joining
French! Say, you'd die to hear him
talk to his ma, Duchess, in de regu-
lar form French dat Duchess and de
teacher teaches to him. It's a wonder!
All de Doodle dat Ouch has touched off
me is goin' to make him a sure enough
gent; and Duchess says dat if tings
goes fair for a dozen years or so, wen
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

odderS, at dat-and I goes to an old
. pal of mine who buys wholesale at de
press rooms, and sells to newsies, and
outfits kiddie wit evening one, two and
three-centers. He was tickled to deaf
and when he gets his bundle under his
arms he let's out "Wrextry! Wrex-
try" like a tenor foghorn. He makes
for de middle of city hall park, wit
Duchess and me chasing along after
him, and in minute he sold a center.
How much does he make?" says
Duchess, getting excited.
"Four-tents of a cent" I says.
Mon Dieu!" she says, ''it is more
| noise dan money!"
Riddle done pretty well for a time,
but den anodder kid walks up to him,
wit his chin out, and says, Say. kid,
where did you get de swell rags?" and
wit dat he pokes our kid in de eye.
Duchess let's out a yell dat woke up
de cop on de city hall steps, and starts
for de fight. l holds her back, for I'd
teached Little Duke some tings dat
isn't In any of de books dat he studies
and / wanted to see if he remembered.
Besides, de kids was of a size Little
Duke slugs wild in de foist surprise,
but all of student he remembers,
and he puts his elbow In de odder
kids neck, his foot behind de odder's
heelS-and dere was no more fight
When de odder kid struck the asphalt
he yells murder. de copper mixes in,
our candidate skips, de cop switches de
boy dat was down, and Duchess was
near to faint
Kiddie wasn't boddered after dat,
and him being a blue ribbon for looks,
he sold to Brooklyn women so fast I
had to stock him two or three times
in a hour. He made frens wit some
boys, sold tree centers once in a while.
was told to keep de change out of a
niekle, and chased up to US to jolly;
and dough his modder was only a
jump ahead Of a fit-and de fit gaining
de kid was easily having de time of
his life.
Say, dad" he says to me, dis is
too easy. It's like taking candy from
child. It's like getting money from
home"
When Duchess hears him she could't
talk for a minute; only let out little
gasps dat / knows is sign dat she is
boiling, and would explode in min
ute.
Whats happened you, woman ."
I says, to help her along.
Did you hear him?" she says, show
ing only de whites of her eyes
Sure; he's no dummy, and I'm not
deaf.
HE has lost his t h"
His what?' l asks, looking to see
had Little Duke lost his dicer, or his
money.
His h."
taught de fit had arrived, but just as
I was going to take her over to de
fountain, and trun some water on her,
l cops de game. For two years Ouch
ess had jollied. and prayed and begged
de teacher to learn Riddle to say h.
She can't say it no more dan 1 can,
but de way she don't say it is a diff
ferent way from de way don't. Any
way de two of us togedder was a bum
team when it came to learning de kid
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

night, and it seemed to me then that
you were the only really sympathetic
person in the audience. I noticed that
you didn't applaud when 1 made an
ass of myself, and 1 was grateful"
So l cried, that's. who you are,
Ell? How came it you were pulling a
hack yesterday. 10 III @
Promise never to tell and 1 will give
you the whole story" whispered the
as II to be sure that there were no
eavesdroppers. 20
81 promise, on my word of honor, to
give the information to nobody but
| the editor of the Congressional Record
| until you release me, said 1.
Good" said he. 0 Then I shall be
| safe, for no one will ever see it-that
| is, not until the hourlis propitious. I
ran away from the roof garden night
| before last" he wentzon, "and in order
| to live l had to takeiithe first job that
| offered. That brute who hired me beat
| me down to two quarts of oats day,
| but L took him on in the hope of a
raise if l made money for HIM"
| Your engagement didn't last long,
1 suggested.
| mo" he assented sadly. at didn't.
That was our first trip together He
hadn't driven me five minutes before
| knew was up against it, and unfer-
| tunately for me he didn't understand
Houyhnhnm. T. told him before we
started that / was a horse of refine-
ment and education and wouldn't
stend any back teak of a profane kind.
and all he did was to punch me In the
mouth and tell me to get over though
! he didn't say what I was to get over.
I suspect iti,.was his bad manners.
| Moreover, he deliberately broke his
contract at. the start by refusing to
give me an adequate breakfast,
| Shameful said I. mot an oat % -
Not an oat," rejoined the Educated
Horse. HE hung aebags on my nose
with a handful of hay and a pint. of
| sawdust mixed In With II; which /
| submit to you is not a fit diet for a
| horse of spirit. Nevertheless, 1 swal-
loed my wrath-ft was all I had to
swallow-you can't work all day with
out swallowing something tried to
show my value, y.iwhereuppn our trou-
bles began. He started me for the Fall
river pier aat 5 o'clock and had the
nerve to ask me to pull him and his
rotten old cab over the cobblestones' OF
| West street. instead of going down
over the asphalt of Broadway OF
! course. demonstrated, and his answer
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06
BY E. w. TOWNSEND.

Copyright, 1908, by Robert Howard
Russell
1 wonder what's all dis rough house
about ditching Broadway! has
known dat lane since 1 sold papes in
Park Row, and it never wasn't a walk
trough a orchard, or a stroll on de
beach by moonlight. OATS what
makes it Broadway.
De foist time 1 ever was in de
country, when 1 took me job wit Miss
Fannie, dare was so much noise dat
st near turn me into fit. 1t keep me
wake nights; and in de day was dodg-
ing fire engines, cars, amblances and
trucks dat wasn't dere, till 1 near
crossed me eyes, trying to see bote
ways at once. Let me tell you; most
of desc mugs OATS making de holler
about de Broadway ditch isn't on to
de proposition. If New Workers ever
struck little old BY when it wasn't
torn up or down, or being sewed, or
gassed, or water lined, or rooted for
wires, or paved or repaved, or re-
tracked, or ditched dey would run
from it like dey was chased by plain
close men. and had de goods on EN-.
I'm telling you dat what makes de
little old Main street Number One wit
all Manufacturers is dat dey gets all de
fun and exercise of mountain climbing
mining, Mort Pole finding, and frontier
life Witout never leaving Broadway.
Isn't dere plenty of places in New
York where de houses Is up and de
streets is down? Sure But what
do you see dere? small lot of belt
liners out for walk, and a cat or
two, wit few noissery maids looking
for de cop dat never come.
says dat to Mr.. Paul. and he says
TO me, "Chames," he says, you is
more dan right, you is all right.
Avaunt de day." he says, using form
twoids now and den, to keep me CUES
sing, when our principal avnoo of
commerce, trade, bargain counters
nrst nights, Holsters and cocktails shall
DE navigable without de aid of a guide.
Plnkerton man, a rope ladder, and a
package of foist relief for de injured.
Broadway as it is, is what makes IT a
deilght. Odderwise. why not go home
by anodder route? When children
can play puss- de- corner. and bean
bag in Broadway, witout overcrowdine
de morgue, de day of its glory is down
and out"
It's ten-to-one shot dat Mr.. Paul
is right, even if he did use dude
}angwudge to sing his song. Listen:
why do folks go to de country ?-iust
for de fun of coming back to town. IT
don't matter what town it is, so long
rs II is de town dat you hangs out in
when you're at home
"Chames," says Duchess to me. I'D
RAIDER go to Paris dan heaven
Same odds against bote places"
Says I. "Tomorrow's our day off: SO
let's beat bote places, and go to de
Eowery, and see Little Duke"
Remember Little Duke? He's our
Kid. Dat we'd go to see him was q
Snch. of course, for we always goes
oown down to me modder's home on
our days off to see de kid. Nrs
nuIPHy Is VIII me modder, now-re-
member Murphy? Dey does Laundry
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

ised to take him to dinner, and he got
well.
Women is queer all around. De kid
had done good woik; learned how to
take care of himself, and to make
change; made money. and had a good
time but all dat was noting to OUCH
ess. He'd lost his dude langwudge, and
a diamond ring wouldn't been no set
off against dat She likes money as
well as de next French goil; tink she's
a bit stuck on me; l know dat she
swears by Miss Fannie, but all de
Doodle and folks in de Notwithstanding
yours truly isn't in de proposition
little bit alongside of de way Duchess
wants to see dat kid swell for fair.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

not stop wit making him president, but
he'll be trained to be cook, an wit de
start we can give him he'll keep
French restaurant some day. Rut
OATS a-dreami
Me modder and Duchess is great
pals. but dey don't hitch when 1t comes
to what de Little Duke will be.
Me DEAR says modder to me on de
quiet, when Duchess was putting kid
die over de jumps of his French gram
mar, Me dear, you has a wife OATS a
jewl witout a price mark; but Chin
mie, as you love you old modder. stop
dat woman from making former of de
little one. or We'll never be able to
keep IT from de neighbors, and he'll
have no more chance to run dis ward
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

to get a strange holt on t h and join
EN- togedder; and Duchess was so
proud dat de youngster had learned de
trick dat she used to make up long
speeches for him to speak, all filed wit
woids where he'd have to say h in
one sound, and listen to him like it was
band playing Hiawater. But p'chee
in two hours de cub had unlearned de
whole bunch Of tricks, and was talking
as straight Manhattan as me. looks
to see Duchess die wit rage.
Take de papers away from our son.
Cheems, and fetch him home. 1 wonder
will he ever be cured?"
So helps Little Duke to count up,
sells his leftovers to one of his new
frens at half price, and found dat he
was toity-two cents TO do good. He
put up holler when L told him BUSH
ness was over for de day, but prom
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06
LIFE.

LIES incomplete without a cottage neat,
O'erhead the uneven patter of wee tod
dler'S feet
The syncopated chatter
And reveFberating clatter
street.
Life lacks in grace unless We own a space
wherein the flowers We SO love dare grow
apace-
Daisies with gold heart deep set,
Neutral-tinted mignonette,
Velvet pansies:. violet. whence peeps
Life doth offend IL meier We can extend
A hand TO help with word and deedl a
suffering friend.
May we to circumstances ne'er paw
Sad tribute OF an enforced Nay"
But. blessed with joy OK giving. lightly
life's vale descend.
New York Press.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

Chimmie's wife says, dough she is form
born, and not IrishI is no fairy tale.
I'm knowing to French lady dat be-
gan by taking In washing, at de very
time 1 did, and she has a delivery
wagon of her own dis very day. wit
her name printed, AND "a lad-pm well
knowing his modder-7rto drive in but
tons" nyo
I'm not denying what you may
know, and not knows Mrs. Murphy"
says me old lady, "but you'll admit
dat Chimmie is my son, which his
fadder was ship carpenter before
ever a park was fought of at Corlears
ing mills now, so de, dear Lord knows
when. to call a carpenter. It's not a
grandmodders place dto interfere wit
her n-lawfsschild,s even when
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-09-06

her own son Is de fadder of de same;
but Hortense, 1T would ease me heart
If you'd let Little Duke learn some
needful ting, besides all dis brown
stone frills he's getting out of de
But lie petit is too young to sell
wanting to rough de old lady.
school books" I'D
"Chimmie started two years young
err says modder.
Gould we watch AhiIn try?" Duchess
says to me. 1 saysesdre; dough I was
linking what'll would de odder kids do
to newsy poissonalfy conducted by
his ladder and modder.
So we. dresses de kid up for woik-
and he was Sunday hest alongside de
The Coeur d'Alene press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1892-1907, 1903-04-25

help all its friends We have no
time to waste ON euemies
On this occasion We wish 10 extend
our thanks 10 those who have Teen
our friends and patrons during the
decade that has passed and assure
them that the Press will always Gs
found loyal to their Interests and
the interests Of the community where
our lot is cast II has been along
pleasant lines, generally speaking
aud Wa propose 10 do our part toward
making Coeur Alens what its peo-
pie, its location aud envtFOhmsnt In
tended il shuud be, tho best town ia
northern Idaho town Of industry
aud town Of beautiful homes To
aid us Ia this 40 want the support
aud assistance of every citizen II
yOu have au item uf news, give q 10
us. II you have amy article a. sell,
adyeftlse It III tho Press ahd hnd a
customer, il you pant the tSst job
printing that skili anal tbs latest ma
terial can turn out, give II 10 as. We
will truat you right