The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-22
WHITE SALMON NOTES.

Ihis week your White Salmon cor
respondent, driven by the cold winds
of adversely onto the shoals of compel
lion has been doing some non-uniou
plastering at his country villa, "Alta-
dena." Alta is the Chinook word for
now, and dena is Kamskatkan word
signifying enjoyment. Our motto is,
"Have good time while you live, for
you'll he long time dead" But to
return to the subject, you ought to
have seen us besmear the ceiling. The
egg of guinea hen is uniform in color
compared with our bespeckled counte-
nance. The OOzy mortar elung in
chunks to our inflamed eyeballs and
hung in graceful festoons from our
sweeping eyelashes. Like continu-
Olls lava flow it ran down our sleeves
and hardened as it reached our verte-
bra. We tegan to realize that we had
severed with our incisors little more
than we could mastieate with our mo-
lars We were reminded of that beau
tiful couplet from Browning:
With bloodshot eye and face bedaub
! set me down to rest begOb.
While mortar's ooze my clothes bedeck,
And pains course down my swan-like neck.
Something like 30 years ago the en-
tire Byrkett place was sold for $4,000
with some stock and farm i'm mplements
of value thrown in. Mr.. Byrkett tells
us that he has 80 acres east of the creek
that he would not sell today for less
than 100000.
An acre of Strawberries on the best
irrigated bottom lands will yield a
gross income of $500. The cost of MAX
ing it produce that much will approxi-
mate 500 per acre, leaving a net in-
come of 5000 per acre for the grower.
That isn't "half bad," as the English
say.
The grower on the upland works
half as hard and his profits are half as
great. He doesn't sit up nights to
"change the sprinklers.' Instead of
irrigating with water he conserves the
soil moisture by kind of irrigation
with the cultivator. Through the heat
of summer his soil is always moist if
the cultivation is shallow and thor.
ough. He cannot get the quantity Sc
cured from the rich bottom loans he
cause his productive season is shorter.
Several acres of the upland, however,
can be bought for the price of one acre
of bottom land, and by planting more
acres he can, in part at least, even up
the profits and sleep nights. He isn't
slave in his berry patch.
A trial before Justice Suksdorf, the
other day, furnished some amusement
as well as food for reflection. The rep
utation of one of our prominent citi-
zens for truth and veracity was SO
punctured and riddled with holes as to
make it resemble cast-off collander
that had been the favorite plaything
for billy goat for week. Annanias,
your record has at last been surpassed.
You're not in it.
A man out at Camas Prairie accident
ally swallowed a grain of wheat, a year
ago. Last Tuesday, DR.. Gearheart was
called, and, soon after he arrived, the
man, after fit of coughing, coughed
up 50-pound sack of -four, 100 pounds
of bran and quite showing of mid
dlings,
Quite furry was caused, few days
ago, by the rumor that Justice of the
Peace Suksdorf had never filed an Off
cial bond or oath of office, and that
therefore his official acts were without
Jurisdiction. Among his official acts
was the marriage of two of our most
highly esteemed young people, who
were naturally surprised as well as un-
comfortable. The statute of this state
provides expressly for just such cases
by making a marriage perfectly valid