The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-10-30
ANECDOTES FROM ANYWHERE.

- E4tLel NJ. SHytn, the
n Hbrettist of the successful one-act
opera. Der Wald,"' was precocious In
heI' childhood, and now that she has
achieved a certain fame. a number Of
odd episodes of her early life are, be-
ing narrated.
According to one Of these, the little
girl said to her mother one day:
Mamma, II I get married, viii my
husband be a man with whiskers and
Who smokes, like all the men I see'
Yes, my dear" the mother answer.
ed.
And If I don't get married, Will T
be an. old maid. like Miss Brown"
Yes, Ethel"
The little girl brooded for a moment,
Ihen she sighed and said in a sad re-
Mamma. It's a hard world for us
women. isn't it,"
Algernon Charles S%winburne, ac-
cording to the statement of one of his
american friends, made a systematic
study Of babies before he wrote his adj
mirable rondels upon babyhood.
Mr.. Swtnburne, who is q bachelor. one
day went on tiptoe nto the nursery Of
q friends house and Dent in reverie
over the infant that slept there. AS he
smiled, and In contemplation of this
seraph1c smile the poets heart was
hlled with joy and awe. But a voice
the voice of the nurse-interrupted his
ecstasy.
It's the wind, bless It's heart" the
nurse whispered. whenever they
smile In their sleep, sir. you may al
ways know they're troubled with the
wind"
Mr.. Swtnburne scowled and withdrew.
On account of the nurses remark, he
never wrote a poem On the subject Of
a baby's dreams.
:::::
Mrs, Samuel Clemens was Miss OIL
Via Langdon. For some years before
she met Mr.. Clemens, she had been
confined to her bed with what was be-
lieved to be an incurable disease: but
she was at length miraculously re-
stored to health. The cure was the
sensation OF Elmira, N. Y, and young
Clemens, then a newspaper reporter,
was sent there to Interview Miss Lang
don on her recovery. He obtained the
interview for his wspa and
brought back Impressions of more
value to himself. Miss Langdon's pa
rents We're at first strongly opposed to
the young newspaper man, and, for his
part, his ttmidity, so it is solemnly
said, stood In the way of the progress
OF his suit. But finally he screwed up
courage to speak to Mr.. Langdon, and
one morning timidly entered his future
father-in-law's private office, where
ina man was seated at work. mi.
Langdon-have you--noticed anything
-.between-your daughter-and-me?"
NO." shouted the objecting parent.
wheeling sharply around so as to get
q rull view Of his visitor. Well" said
the young man, as he turned to the
door, ready for instant fight, IF you
keep sharp = lookout - you
WILL"
Robert e. Lee, Jr., grandson Of the
confederate general, broad-shouldered.
powerful, standing six feet three inch
es In his shoes and weighing more
than three hundred pounds, captured
the plaudits intended for John l.. SUI
Ivan and moved Grover Cleveland to
perpetrate a joke.
Colonel Lee. a member Of the gov
ernor's staff went to the dedica-
ton OF the Louisiana Purchase EXPOSE
ton. In the party were Gen. Fitzhugh
Lee and Lieutenant Governor Joseph
q. Willard.
On the same car with the Virginia
party We're a number of sporting men,.
They speedily ~'recognized' Colonel Lee
and surrounded him. concentrating
him on his appearance and asking him
about various ring events. 1T soon
daWned on the burly Virginian that
ne was playing the role Of John L.. Sui
Ivan, and he entered into the spirit
OF the occasion. In st. Louis Colonel
Lee was cheered along the streets with
SHOUTS or "Hurrah for John LIP
Colonel Lee was presented to Ex-
PRESIDENT Cleveland, who gazed at him
Tor q moment, taking In his Hercu.
lean proportions. Turning to General
Fitzhush Lee, he said, with O twinkle
IN his eye, Where did You set this
little fellow?".
. #-.rF-E -aH. Z. . . -. .-H.... b.
Colonel Henry Watterson tells a
good story about a much battered old
lawyer who went up into the mountain
region OF Kentucky to collect a claim.
He was lame and huff blind and one
armed A local celebrity in the case was
the districts dead shot, who had killed
many men and who was ready to shoot
anything or anybody. He came in
daily to see the lawyer about a case in
which he was interested until his WIS.,
It's became extremely tiresome. Final
~ the lawyer exclaimed: Get out Of
here and stay out CT here. Get out
right away. I'm sick Of seeing you.
DOM stand there. Go on out, I tell
YOU The desperate looked at the
wreck Of g man in incredible dis1nay,
Before he knew what he was doing he
was backing out Of the room. When
he reached the street he burst into
tears. The inhabitants crowded
around and asked him what was the
matter. Tie druv me out" he walled.
"Druv me right out of the room. Said
he's tired O. lookin' at ne and won't
let me come back no more" why
didn't you shoot him?" asked the
crowd. Shoot him echoed the slayer
of many lives Shoot him? He couldn't
walk. He couldn't see. He's leaf and
couldn' hear. lie couldn't run and he
couldn't fight. Whv fellow citizens, If
Id "a shot him 1t would "a been muir
der"
A queer reminiscent!al CLEAN crept
Into the eyes of the barber with the |
long, low, rakfsh forehead as he rest
ed his razor hand While shaving the
Adams apple of the lean. nervous
looking man in the chair.
I was King Louis XIV last night"
said the barber suddenly, the razor still
poised about half an inch above the
lean customers Adams apple.
n customer blinked and breathed
hard The shaved side of his face be-
came nearly as white as the still lath-