The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19

{
smood de action in design, invented by
May Irwin. We were not afforded OPP
portunity to see dis model at its best.
! for in de middle of de tower scene an
unfortunate accident to her repertoire
attachment started her to singing. All
bCoons Look Alike to me- Dis was de
result of engaging for de part a chilled
steel, gold-plated soubretto, dat played
in a Casino production last week. Fur
der notice is reserved, but we must
urge managers to see dat de song
woiks of lady-autos formerly employed
in comic opera is trun out of gear,
when cast for de legitimate.S
Oats a great scheme" I says, as
any of de stockton de market? If it is"
1 says, It'll go rubber at de ground
floor"
mo" says Mr.. Paul, ait was over
subscribed by de Syndicate. But hope
for de best. Chances" says he. IF Mr..
Edison can manufacture de auto-actors
fast enough we may be saved from be-
ing drafted into de dramas. If de woist
comes to de woist; and every New
Yorker is needed to act out on top of
de stage, for de entertainment of de
strangers with our gate money. den 1
know what line of parts 1 will play"
Hand out de line" I says.
de soivants dat fetches on de bot
ties of Wine" he says. Il notice dat
very little of de wine is drunk on de
stage, and 1 has often taut what a good
ting de soivant has when he takes de
bottle off,
Say. honest, if ever Mr.. Paul should
toss lip over a glass of stage fiZz..
he'd have de struggle of his life to re-
member dat he was a Christian"
Well, dat evening, as I was fussing
around de library, where de folks was
hot-airing, and me keeping ice in de
cooler. and wood on de CRATE. 1 hears
Mr.. Paul say Il has a graft" he says
only he uses dude woids what l toin
into right English for yOu-"I has a
graft for to do away wit all taxpaying
by de citizens of dis delightful Island
of Manhattan"
Good" says Whiskers. Gall dats
needed to give dis city de comforts Of
home is to make de price Of living come
within de means of folks of moderate
incomes, like me-" OATS de song he
sung. but cops it right dat Whlskers
rakes off an even hundred thousand.
woiking two days a year cutting de
fringe off bonds.
What is your plan, Paul?" ne says.
"Tell me quick. so as can have taste
of heaven even before 1 die"
1T is dis" says Mr.. Paul. I'm go
ing to form de Island OF Manhattan
Amusement Company. Unlimited. De
capital will be few billion. but when
l set fort me suspectus III have to use
a hammer to discourage subscribers.
shall get a franchise for me company
to fence in Manhattan Island and
charge admission. In sretoin for de
franchise, de company will pay de city
all de long green needed to run de mon
eycipal gOv'ment. 1t won't be much,
as de company will do most of de woik
now done by de city; run de Police and
Fire Departments, clean de streets, pay
de officeholders. and"
Hold on" says Whisckers. 'If your
company pays for running all dose de-
partments, why would it have to pay
de city anyting?"
Sir" says Mr.. Paul, "dere are soften
expenses in connection wit gov'ment
which it is not polite to discuss in mix
ed company. For particulars l refer
you to me friends Platt, Croker and
Company. Dis plan was suggested to
me on a poissOnally conducted tour
about town, wit Chames to guide me.
today. 1 found dat at de present rate
of progress New York. in little time,
will be solidly built up of teeatres and
! hotels De business is badly in need OF
Woid-What?-"O organization. 1t
should be run in a community Of in
tereSt. Here is teeatres being built all
over de lot, wit hotels stuck in between.
and no general plan, no economy; COM
petition instead of Cooperation, and
millions of graft going to waste because
nobody has taut of me plan"
! But what has fencing in de Island
got to de wit it?" Whskers asks.
| Oats de starting point" says Mr..
| Paul. You couldn't keep Americans
! wit gold to melt out of New York if
you threatened EN- wit small pox and
| Calling guns. It's de cinchiest graft
| dat ever went to waste since Noah for
| got to charge admission to de Ark We
/ has de goods, and de people won't be
| happy until dey has EN-. Make EN- pay
| to get into de shop, and den pay for
| what dey gets dere. After paying all
! de expenses we now meet by de foolish
I trick of taxing ourselves, me company
/ will still have all de profits of de shop
I for velveteen. See?"
1T sounds big" says Whiskers.
But it's bigger dan it sounds" says
| Mr.. Paul. It's de graftiest graft dat
| ever grew out of DOORS" he says, using
| some real langwudge, which he can,
! when he wants to talk straight.
| Listen" he says. ION me trip wit
| Chamas today 1 seen a hundred
| buildings, costing a hundred million
I dollars, going up. DER hundred, sep
| arate foolish owners is paying all kinds
| of foolish Doodle for the land, for build
| ing material. for labor, and for every
! thing. OATS what de hundred little
! steel companies, and de dozen steam
[ ship companies paid before dey got to-
gedder. What is dey paying now, asks
! you?"
Paying dividends" says Whiskers,
! beginning to get onto de graft
Exactly, sir. Let US stop dis foolish
game of building a teeatre here a no.
tel dere. a palm room somewhere else,
and a row of banjo flats in between.
Let US get togedder; let us organize;
let us get on to de game, and stop
playing long shots, just because dey
is long, and play noting but cinches,
wit de money handed out to us as soon
as we picks our favorite witout waiting
| for de horses to be run. De whole
Island will be covered by twenty
| story building, and as fast as a new
| teeatre, a hotel, a restaurant, a mile
of fats, or any odder old kind Of a Joint
! is wanted, part of de building will be
| finished to suit tenants. De company
fixes de rent-witout competition. Is it
| a dream? What" he says.
"Say, isn't Mr.. Paul fancy fneseer!
But listen: l lit de pipe dat started dat
| dream, and I'll come in for a rake-off
on de Doodle, and wear me Sunday
close all de time, and drink noting
but real wine, whenever I has toist
| on me.