The Republican journal., 1903-11-26
A Game of Duplicate Whist.
Ry CARROLL WATSON RANKIN.

Nope" said StebblnS, 1T ain the
SEWN society thet's maxim all the
pow-wow in thar; it's one O them thar
silent whist-clubs. Them twelve women
makes more racket than runaway To-
connective on down-grade a-whistlin'
fer brakes. Nothin' short O. dyna-
mite'n stop that game till they git them
sixteen boards played out, frontwards
an backwards. It's what they call du,
plicate whist. but it's too duplicated
fer me.
Il can't say like to cook; but sence
them women lined that dodratted
whist-club I've ben Swiss family Rob
inson on a desert isle. l amt he'd a
button sewed on, ner a SOCK darned,
ner a decent meal cooked fer five long
weeks-'cept ez l did it myself-an' L
amt no great shakes of cook.
When Mis- Stebbins amt a--playn'
tibet cussed game she's thinkln' about
it. which is Just ez bad-or wuss. When
she gifts through wrastlin' with the
cards daytimes, she talks stuff like this
here in her sleep nights: 'Holdln' king
am ace an five more in suit, lead queen
Ell, 'Holdin' queen, jack an one other,
lead Jack er, Play ace second hand to
cover 'ricinal lead'-whutever that is.
But it's even wuss, .daytimes.
"'See here sez |, this mornn,.
where did you put them overshoes O
mine
ITO signal fer trumps,' seq she, with
far-away look in her eye, play hleh
card an then low one c.,-
'''Taint trumps | want, seq l; III S
7 -
'She brung HE bootJack an car
pet slipper, an left the room, a-mur,
murin' softly ez she went, 'Holdln'
suits of equal length, lead one headed
by cards in sequence an lts Den
inst like that ever sence she jined.
s.The hardest days work | ever done
WIZ playin' eZ a substitute in that there
club one afteroon about week ago.
Now. I've played cards ever sence l
wuz so high. Me an the girls an Mis-
Stebbins used to set down nights an
play couple O. games an rubber O.
GOOD old fashioned whist, an when we
got done we quit peaceable; but TINS
here gol-darned stuff they're playln
row-landy. faint play, it's work
an hard work at that.
Yep. l wuz foolish enough to let
them women rope me into one o Their
darn pow-wows. One on ems feelns
vuz still damaged from the week be-
fore. so they he'd to hev a substitute,
am Mis- Stebbins offered me up ez an
unwillin' sacrifice But, Gee whiz. 1t
wuz funny, They most made me deef
with their own noise; but It / sad
word they took the top of my head
clean off. Before the game Wuz over
they wuz all SO mad they didn't know a
dimond from a club. Seven on 'em
went home cryin', an one on EN-
which wuz me-cusSin'. Mebbe more.
A-suppressin' of my own remarks KEEP
me too busy to pay no attention to
them.
.'Fust of all, nobody WIZ willin, to
play with the pardner she drew, but
that wuz settled after awhile to ev'ry-
bodv's dissatisfaction, an no damage
done to nothin' but feeln's. When
t wuz my turn to lead, ! lay down an
ace. Great Guns, If I'd a-committed
all the crimes in the cGiendar-Wlth a
a few new ones thrown in eXtry-them
women couldn't a-made more fuss.
"sWel,' seq |, haulin' it back, if We
don't like that, here's a twc-spot.'
s''Is that the fourth best o. your long
suit whispered my pardner, leanin
No seq I, its my wust best an
only O that particular brand
'''You don't mean,' SEE she, that
vou re leadin' Singleton
NO, sez l. 1 don't. I'm a-leading
from clear case of sneak.
Il wuzn't the only sufferer. BY the
time the fust board wuz played, there
wuZ one mad woman, an one cryln' one
at ev'ry table. Inside of an hour all
that wuzn't cryin' WIZ trumpin' their
partners aces from sheer rage.
"'Stead O settin' comfortable in one
spot, we had to progress to other seats
after each hand. They wuz a big,
square card on each table tellln' US to
80 West. young man, and grow up with
the country, er way back East an set
down-eZ the case might be. 1t took
such heap O steerin' fer me to keep
track O myself an the pints O the COM
pass, tibet | couldn't find no time to
play the cards; but [ done the best L
could.
.'Table two, South SEE l, movin' to
the next table. 'How-de-do, Ms Per
kinsham, table two, South? This is a
poor layout, seq |, pickin' up my hand,
4 never have no luck with spades fer
trump
"Iuckn seq she, scornfullike. They
amt no such thing ez luck in this here
game-it's science
81 noticed, howsoever, tibet ev'ry one
o. them women wore rabbits paW-fer
science
eye sent boy seq l. smilin' at my
pardner to show her tibet l didn't bear
no grudge when she trumped my thir-
teenth card with a two-spot.
"Sh-h-h. This is whist-t-t,' SEE she,
savage as a meat-aXe.
Now to my mind, them little pleas
ant remarks help a game along; but
after that l KEEP still till got to table
with Mis- Stebbins.
"'Here's a typewriter SEE l, layin'
down queen.
"'Hev you a major-tenace?' SEE my
pardner, glarin' through her spec.
GA WHAT SEE l.
"'Oh, never mind, SEE Mis- Stebbins,
'he don't know major-tenace from a
greene echo, ner neither of 'em from a
coal-hod; but that wasn't a legitimate
play
"'Keep off the grass SEE I, beginnin'
to git rlled I'm a-playin' this here
hand an Tll play it my own way. If l
want to lead sneaks, I'll lead 'em ev'ry
time I'm lucky enough to git one; an
I'll NAV nv own Way er not at ALL