Morris tribune., 1903-07-04
BARRIERS VS. WELLS-HANSON
CLERKS.
The BARRIERS Try to Skin the Clerks
but Forgot their RaZOrs.

NS~SO~
tween the Tonsorial Artists and the
Wells Counter Jumpers was pulled
off on the diamond last Monday night
before the largest and most hand
somely dressed crowd that has as,
sambled on that field for many a
, day. All the best equipages, private
and livery, were filed (some to over
fowing) with the flower and pride OF
Morris; and as one travelling man re-
y marked, "a man would have to travel
many miles to see more august as
semblage."
Before the carnage began dinky
little score cards were handed out to
the elect, and tho the Tribune bogie
man was being passed by, we sue
ceeded in landing one and we give
below the suggestive and in several
instances very personal appellatlVes
used to differontiate the several as
pirants for athletic notoriety-
Counter Jumpers ABB RH Pc A E
Be # Steak Haight,
Sender. "A 7 30
Singer O'Malley,
receiver. ....... 6 90 0 0 6
Lanky Hanson, Brief
obstructor ........... 6 90 1 III
Hi Lee Hi Low Peterson
Sack No. 1.. 5 10 021
Old Maid Barsness, Sack
o.2....... % 0 35
Wang Wunsch, Sack
No. 3.................. p oS
Silent Stanley, Right
Hand Garden....... 4
Never Late King, Mid
die Garden..... l
Dutchy Meyer, left
Garden ..............
Al 10 Is q 10 SO
Tonsonia1 Artists
Pickwick Blackman,
Receiver ............ l IL U
Toady Betters. Sender. 1 l 10
Ask Olson. Sack No H.. U 81
Strong Arm Benn, Sack
No. 2.............. . U U lO
Spider Batten, Sack No.
3....................... U U U
Dignity Long, Brief Oh
StruCtOr............. U
Hurry Harry Long, Right
Hand Garden....... 4 0 . . 8
Who Is It Huseth, Mid
die Garden .......... 0 0
Badly Suesmiloh. Left
Hand Garden...... 4 0
3S 81 8 Sc
Dignity Long failed to show up in
time to get in the game, so Butcher
Olsen was placed behind the bat and
Pickwick Blackman, the handsome
razor-man of Hancock, was placed
at the position designated as So,
which, they say, doesn't stand for
Sunday School down there. Some
of the BARRIERS tell us that Mr. Long,
who is a heavy stockholder and a
director of the local "barbers' octopo
dous combine" and who was one of
the chief instigators of this great
event, could not stand to have his
"dignity" trailed in the dust of the
commonplace by getting out and
making spectacle of himself before
the eyes of the hoi polloi and "the
people," but Mr.. Long, on his part,
states that very dear friend of his
from Saltwater, whom he had not
seen for years. came in on the after
noon train and would not take
mo" for an answer to an invitation to
drive out to the lake, and promised
on his honor TO get him back to town
by six o'clock, and that they would
have returned in time had not the
hind wheel of the buggy got 'hot"
and delayed them.
By the tabulated score you will
notice that the game was won by the ,
Bumpers by margin of Z, and
they are as much swelled up over
the affair as if all of them had been
sent to congress. Barsness, who
only made thirty five errors at second E
base, says he could give Paul S ,oon
or some pointers on how to hold down
that position. Hi Lee Hi Lo says be
used to play town-ball over in the
back alleys Of Cyrus years ago, but {
his error account doesn't show that '
he ever knew what a ball was. Strong r
Arm Benn, too, is sore because there v
are ten errors charged up to him, and i
says Douglas Bailey had better study L
he rule book a little and learn the
difference between an error and a Ii
'feint." After Suesmilch had made v
hat three-bagger and stolen rome a
and made the first score that dragged b
his side out of the slough of ignomin-
ious goose-eggdom, he got reminis- r
II 4