Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-12-19
FACTS AND FANCIES.

N~"~o~~-~~s~>~~~~~~>~~~ -~~~-~~.-So~~~~o~
Il haven't thought of a joke all day"
You must be out of humor. Yale
Record.
Il don't stand for that" muttered the
unchivalrOus student as a coed boarded
the crowded car,-Yale Record.
He-If l should propose, would you re-
fuse me?
She-Present company always accept
ed. you know.-Yale Record.
\. d. Fyse-An onion a day keeps the
doctor away.
\. Sepshun-Yes, and everybody else.
PENNSYLVANIA Punch Bowl.
First Turkey-AIy, what rot.
Second furkey-What's the matter?
First Turkey Saying that worry makes
q person thin!-Brooklyn Life.
This Us indeed food for thought" re-
marked the chemist, rs he started To
analyae forty seven different kinds OF
breakfast cereals.-Columbia Jester.
Whisky cannot talk, but it tells on
man.
\ single quill often makes a goose of
many men.-P Pennsylvania Punch Bowl.
He-I wish that l was Santa Claus,
my heart I'd give YOU, dear.
She-1 wish that you We're Christmas.
too; you'd come but o0ce a year.-New
York Times
Ethel-So Edith has finally caught the
nobleman she was trying to hook
Mariory-las, she said in her last let
ter that he belonged 10 the landed gentry.
Yale Record.
II believe Clarence and Algy are get
ting to be real wicked
Yes: | heard them talking about their
big black pipes in the ,sassiest way imag-
Unable. "-IndianapoiEs Sun
'''S'spose dey wuE q turkey fer ever
po' man in de country"
Wouldn't help matters any; dey'd sho'
have wings enough ter roost out or
reach. Atlanta Constitution.
Some men think a woman likes to be
obey ed; she does nat, if she care for the
nan. To disregard her orders needs a
certain amount q audacity and self-con-
hdence.-Helcn Mneoete in Lippincott's.
Little Wilhe-When you die, Mr.. Mark.
YOU will go right to heaven, won't you?
Mr.. M.-Why so2
Little Willie-Sister saws you are an
awfully good thing.-Butte Inter Noun
tain.
Shurenqff- Gosh. / wish went to
school in Russia.
Satyshed-V'hy!
Shurenuff 1t must take all day to call
the roll here.-pennsylvania Punch
Bowl.
Where will ger marriage license?"
aslSnd young man in the city hall
''Gou might try Che bureau of encum-
head, as he passed en.-Yonkers States
man.
Friend-You seem to have as many
customers now as during the holidays.
berdasher-Why, those are fellows
coming 10 exchange the neckties their
wives bought them for ChristmaS.-Ex-
change.
Crawford I'm frst-rate a any kind Of
problem.
BRADSHAW Then come home with me.
/ live in fiat and want to figure out
where to put The Christmas tree.-Town
Topics.
Mrs Newwed tat dnnerl-Mandy why
do YOU serve nutcrackerS with the tur-
key?
Mandy Well. yo' done tole me to stuff
de turkey wifi chestnuts.- Detroit Free
Press.
Some day Won viii reap the conse-
qnences OF your sins"
Yes, of course. But thereli be lots Of
new harvesting machinery invented by
that time. - Cincinnati Commercial Fri
bune.
Another Wall.
Paving for coal,
Paying for coal
Jack Frost Is coming.
Plague on his soul,
New York Evening sun
He-I understand that you are to be
congratulated.
She-No. The engagement is broken
off.
He-That is what heard-Somervilln
Journal
Domestic Pets.
1Iy wife has a parrot
And also a pug.
NV pet is a little
Old eathenwSre Jog.
New Orleans Times Democrat