davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
MINISTER'S, ERRORS.
Some They Made and Others Were
Made For Them.


We have heard some very laugh
able statements by ministers, and
we do not for moment doubt that
they are also made by other public
speakers. One of these clerical
brethren, at the close of solemn
service, said in doleful tone, "Now
let us pronounce the doxology, and
l will sing the benediction." He
had an intuition that something was
wrong in his announcement, and an
effort to correct it resulted in the
following: "No; I mean I will sing
the benediction, and we will pro-
nounce the doxology."
Another clergyman, who had been
discoursing most eloquently on idol
airy, surprised his audience by say
ing "Bow not thine eye to needle"
when he>meant to say 'Bow not thy
knee to on idol" Another caused q
smile throughout the entire audi
ence by repeating the well known
verse, 'sBehold the fig tree, how it
withereth away" in the following
manner: "Bchold the whig tree; how
it fithereth away"
The slips of the type are, how
ever, more numerous and laughter
provoking than those of the tongue,
causing many all editor and CORE
spondent sorrow because of the care
lessness or obtuseness of all knowing
compositors. The writer once had
occasion to mention the fact that a
certain eminent lecturer had deliv-
cred his oration on "Saul of Tarsus." !"
Imagine his CONSERVATION, after the
entire edition of the paper had been
run off, on seeing the statement that
the man had iectured on the "Soul
of Lazarus" SO on another occa-
sion, in commencing the boarding
house of brother minister at one
of the summer resorts, and especial
ly the reasonable rates, he was hor-
rified to read, ellis rats are reason
able"
A clergyman once made the state
ment in his pulpit, "What we want
is more fire in our meetings." His
remarks were reported for the next
days paper, and instead of "fire" he
found thai he had expressed de-
sire for more E'fun' in the meetings.
London Tit-Bits.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
GENERAL NEWS.

- The United States consumes
half of the l6,0O0,00O bags which
constitutes the worlds crop of coffee.
- Great Britain spends $l12,5OO,-
OO0a year on the support of the poor.
This does not include private charities.
= The Rev. Dr.. Joseph Ayers, of
Sidney, Ohio, So years Of age, is the
oldest Meth ,dist minister in the
world.
- There is woman in Kansas who
is only 81, but has been married and
divorced and is q mother and grand
mother.
- In many churches throughout
Texas on Sunday prayers were offered
for the relief from the Mexican boil
weevil pest.
= Chicago had an attendance Of
20, 600, 900 people at her World Fair,
but st. Louis counts confdentally on
an attendance of 100000.
- A woman in Gainesville, Co.,
has given her home to be sold and
will devote the proceeds to building q
home in Atlanta for the Christian and
Missionary Alliance.
= A report from Lynchburg, Va.
is to the effect that hail storm which
swept southside Virginia last Satur-
day night, destroyed 100000 to
1,50O,O 900 pounds of tobacco in the
field.
= a holiness preacher was arrested
and jailed in Atlanta as vagrant.
His wife works in factory at so
| cents day but her husband declines
job and his wife is ready to support
him out Of her earnings.
= The mayor Of Ambcrg, Germany,
recently ordered all the cats in the
city killed because one had hydropho-
bia and was supposed TO have bitten
many more. The order was carried
out and 1920 cats and kittens were
killed.
= Hungarian peasants have super
stition that FIRE kindled by lightning
can only be extinguished by milk, and ,
owing to their refusal to use water,
a barn with farmers whole hay
crop has been burned in one Of the
| provinces.
| Government insurance of horses
in Bavaria is eminently satisfactory,
as shown by the frat annual report of
the Royal Chamber Of Insurance. The
government has conducted the bust
ness of insuring cattle and against
fire and hail for many years.
= The farmers of New York state
are complaining that their crops are
going to waste because it is impossible
to hire help to harvest them. Presents
ly it will be necessary for the govern
ment to offer bounty for every farm
hand that can be captured.
- A girl with long hair is inconso-
liable because, in fit of somnambul-
ism, she cut eff her tresses. But
Miss Bessie Smythe, Maine girl, to
pay church debt, sold her hair at
auction, a Boston merchant paying
down 1926 cash for it. Miss Smythe' 8
tresses are famous all over the coun-
ty, as they reach below her heels and
are Of beautiful ruddy brown tint.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
The oiass Snake.

A remarkable reptile is the legless
lizard, the so called glass snake or
joint snake, which ie quite common
in the woods of the south. If this
creature is hit with stick the
chances are that it will break up
into number Of fragments in q
manner very surprising to one who
witnesses the act for the first time.
AS a matter of fact, the fragments
which come off are postana1-that
is, they are really parts Of the tail.
so that the reptile does not perish
as result Of its brittleness.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
A Sufficient Reason.

An Irishman, unable to get work
in his own country, went to England
to look for it and was lucky enough
to find it.
The first Saturday night, when.h
got his wages, he went to buy ,doz-
en- eggs. He was charged shilling
for them. He was aghast.
"a shilling!" said he. els it q
shilling for dozen eggsP Why.
sure, when I was in Ireland I could
buy e dozen eggs for sixpence."
"Then why didn't you stay
there?"
Because I hadn't the sixpence to
buy them with"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
Tho Blue Color OF tho s.sy.

The blue color Of the sky is prob
ably merely the color of the e.eir seen
through length Of about forty -aye
miles. It has been observed by those
who have assembled about five miles
above the earth's surface that the
sky appears of q dark, inky hue, ow-
ing to the very small reflection and
dispersion Of the light, while the
blue color no longer appears above,
but below them. Similarly the blue
color Of distant hills is owing to the
same cause. Del Meer believed that
were it possible for a man to ascend
to q height of ten miles he would
find himself in total darkness, even
though it were bright MONDAY on
the earth below him.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
CAS-. ORlA
Fer Infants and Children
The Kind J Yoa Have Always Basght
Bears the III ><0zz

. II : f - . q r
- They are making fuss in New
York over q boy with his heart in the
wrong place. Men thus deformed,
however. are too numerous to specify.
-Norfork Landmark.
80 Save your pennies and the stock
market will take care OF your pounds.
There is more pride in having
the other fellow wrong than in being
right yonrsolf, q,
-. The length Of . woman's: shoe
string tells It's. own story.
/ a woman makes o fool Of hers elf
BIZ bragginE absut things sho ought
NOT to, and man BY not Dragging
about things,ho ought TO. gs
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
They Talked About shs Weather.

"What did you and .Algernon find
to talk about p' asked the chaperon.
"The weather." was the demure
reply. 'I said it looked as if it were
going to rain, and he said he had an
umbrella and he would like that he
might shield me from all the storms
Of life and that Florida would be a
lovely place for wedding trip. We
didn't talk about anything but the
weather for half an hour Wash
ington Star.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
Certainly Ought 10 Know II.

'I,et me see," unused the literary
person momentarily at loss for a
quotation, Chow does that passage
in 'Hiawatha' run where the"-
"I'll play it all for you," inter-
rupted the impulsive young thing,
seating herself at the piano, "and
when I come to it perhaps you will
recognize it."
A moment later those frightfully
familiar strains vibrated on the euf-
fering atmosphere once more.-C Chi
cago Tribune.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
Pseeeptreesss Of Etlauetse.

Sometimes the etiquette Of Eu-
ropean countries sorely puzzles the
American woman Of means when
she contemplates Q foreign tour or
is about to receive in her home
some distinguished foreigner. Other
women Of superior social station, but
less wealth, profit by instructing
them in the various points, These
instructresses are usually women
who have lived abroad in former
days of affluence. Their position is
analogous to that of Dickens cele-
brated Mrs. General.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
Asklna Too Much.

Housekeeper-IIl give you a good
meal if you'll light the fire in the
stove for. me.
Weary Willie-Al right, lady.
Housekeeper-Very well. Here's
q hatchet. Just chop some of that
wood out there
Weary ie-Oh, see here, lady,
I thought it was a gas stove You
had. Good day = Philadelph;a
Press
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16

A. S. Groves, who lives near
Shenandoah, Iowa, manages to have
good roads alongside of his farm near
ly the year round. He keeps the road
graded up properly, and wher the ruts
get dry and rough he goes out with
his teams and harroWs and scrapes
the road and makes it smooth.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
They Knew she Answer.

The teacher was telling her class
things not found in the textbooks.
SsWhen. anything is repeated by
many persons it gets to be called q
saying" she said. seNow, when q
thing is repeated and accepted as a
fact by everybody what do we call
H?"
The intelligent pupils answered in
!horus, "a chestnut p-New York
Press.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
Like tire Canary.

Like the Canary.
"Your brother doesn't sing as
much as he used to, does he ?" asked
Miss Antique of the small sister.
"No'm," replied the angel child.
seDo you know why?" asked the
visitor interestedly.
eWell," replied the angel child,
remembering the bald spot on broth
er's head, ~its because he's molt-
ing. Cincinnati Tribune.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16

- If q man has love in his heart he
may talk in broken language, but it
will be eloquence to those who listen.
A mirror reflects faces aud bril-
liant things, but it doesn't often do
both at the same time.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
O q @ ~ e e @ q @ " 6
HORSE sHOEENG.

Have you q good horse or mule? II SO.
bring him to w. M. Wallace, an expert
ancea hand in ell kinds OF Horse Shooting.
perienced men from the North-haye
done all the race.shosing for them. T
have some Of my work would like 90
chow you. Don't forget I am doing
Wagon and Buggy Work at a very low
price. All work guaranteed. You will
find me on the corner below Jaii. Look
for my sign. W. n. WALLACE.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
Notice to Creditors.

A LII persons having demands OF
"A claims against the Estate Of Miss
Martha ]. Bowie, deceased, are hereby
notified to present them, properly prov
eu, to the undersixned within the time
prescribed by law, and those indebted
are notified to make payment.
D. E. CARLISLE, Executor.
Sept 8, 1908 12 8
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
l;axasayee Bcemoe' {9..lnai!a.se
Cures q Cold iaonsp pay. Grip b . Days
n M S orsvszy

TO cultivate kindness is a valu-
able part Of the business Of life
johnson.
Hundreds would never haze
known want IL they had not at first
known aste.Spurgeop.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
NOTICE.

WILL be let to the lowest bidder on
building Of Bridge over Branch near
J. 81. simpsons. Jr., on road leading
from 6impsonville to Shiloh Church ins
Wiflfamston township. Reserving right
to reject any or all bids.
J. N. vANDIvER, Co. Sup.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
College Of Charleston,
OuNIIoobOUS Ss Os
18th Year BeeinS Septenber IS.

"oA soo OO6'"o .S0pAeuspos Ga
Letters, Science, Engineering. One
Scholarship to each County of South
Carolina. Tuition $40. Board and fur
nished room In dormitory, $40 per month.
All candidates for admission are permit
ted to compete for Boycs Scholarships,
which pay 800 year.
For catalogue, address
HARRISON RANDOLPH.
President.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
Greatest Of All Physicians.
Eminent Discoverer Of
PAlNE'S CELERY
COMPOUND

Prof. Edward l.. Phelps. NJ. d., IL. d.,
was born in Connection, and graduated at
Yale.
lis unusual talent soon brought him rcputa.
ton and Prominence. ls>, he was elected 10
the r,oicsso,ship of anatomy and surgery III
the Vernon, University. NsM he was az.
pointed lecturer III Da,,n oull College. The
following year he was chosen to the most
important proicssorship i'll the country, 4
place tha, he occupied when lie made his
world d.iamcd discovery Of Hainc's Celery Com
pound.
This infalblc cure for those fearful ills that
result from an impaired nervous system and
impure blood, has cndeared the great doctor
10 the world.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
General Repair Shop.

ALL kinds Of Blaoksmithing, Wood
Work, Painting, Trimming, Rubber
Tires and Rubber Horse Shoeing. All
done at short notice by first.c class work.
men. We don't claim to be the only
hrst.claas work men In town, but as good
ss any In the South. Our work shows
for itself. Work and Prices guaranteed.
Call and see our work apd get pYicas.
Bring your Buggies aud lave them re-
paired and made as nice and good as pav5
for Spring and Summer drives.
Yours for business,
J. p. IODD.
P. s.-Horse shoeIng Speciality.
March IL. 1903 3S
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
Notice to Teachers.

THE regular Fall Examination for
Teachers Certificates will be held on
Friday, Sept 18th, 1903.
There will be no other examination bo-
fore May, 1904.
Trustees cannot legally employ Teach-
ere without Certificates, 30 do not miss
this opportunity OF SECURING one II you
expect TO teach this Winter.
r. E. NICHOLSON, Co. Sup't.
Sept 2. 1903 IL 2
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16

X To Care a Cold 10 0ns DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets.
All druggists refund tho money If it
fails to cure. e. W. Groves sigma
tnre is on each box. Price Csc.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
81 ere is our New TIE Setter

We worked so successfully last season.
Sets EN- cold, right or the wheel, and
keeps the dish right, too.
With plenty good seasoned lumber,
improved machinery, we'll selected
stock Of different sizes, shapes and
parts, We give you the service you ex-
pect in short time. Overhauling Car.
riages and Buggies from start to finish
is our speciality.
PAUL E. STEPHENS.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1903-09-16
FOKey's Honey and Tar
for children. safe, sure. No QpShe&
Wall Papering and Painting.

THE undersigned has superior lot OF
Wall Paper and Bordering which will
sell In the roll at very low price. will
also Paper and Paint your house at sat-
isfactory price. If you need any paper
ing or want your house painted give me
q trial.
G. l.. ARNOLD, Depot Street.
Feb IL. 1903 81 Bm
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-05
CATTLE ARE NOT so BADLY OFF
snow Has Done No Damage Ex-
cept Near the Missouri
River.

PIERRE. S. D.. Jan. disqualification
John 2. Diamond Of Mankato, MINI, has
been giving out an interview in regard to
the terrible conditions OF the range country
west of Pierre. He places the snow at a
great depth. with a crust on IL which pre-.
vents stock from getting through to the
feed which exists under the snow, and
says this was caused by the rain which
prevailed over the range after the snow,
and which formed the crust" The facts
are that deep snow does exist out forty
miles west from Pierre, but that is not
crusted. After forty miles west is reached
the snow is lighter OF the ground and
cattle are ranging all over that country
finding feed in abundance. Yet further
north and west, at and beyond Leslie, there
is but about two inches OF snow, and that
amount is more Of a benefit thar a detri-
ment to the range. There may be some
losses along the Missouri river, and will
be II the present snow stays on all winter,
but that will be from the fact that the
hay supplies put up in that section are moi
sufficient to feed for so long a time. as two
months is all the feeding any OF the range
cattlemen expect to do.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-05
EXCITEMENT OVER SHORTAGES
Citizens OF San Juan When
Arrest of Mayor on CharEe of
Destroying Record Oceurs.

SAN JUAN, p. R., Jan. 1.-THE mayor OF
this city, Manuel Egozcue, has been ar
rested and held in $4,000 bail on the charge
made by Ofieial Inspector Holt OF destroy
ing the records OF the city water receipts,
which constituted the only evidence OF al
legged extensive populations and embezzle-
ment.
The allegations against the mayor were
originally made October last in a petition
Of citizens. which was presented TO the
governor, and which asked for the prosecu-
ton Of the mayor. The editor OF the News,
which published the text OF the petition,
was arrested October 20 on the complaint
OF the mayor on a charge of libel. This ar
rest caused considerable excitement, which
ended In the shooting OF two men.
Since then three other ~ofhcials have been
arrested and are being prosecuted for al
legged shortages in their accounts and for
embezElement. The populations are said
10 range from 5000 to S4S, 600. and misap-
propriations Of other funds are also al
legged.
The arrest OF the mayor today caused
great excitement. Men eongregated on the
plazas and surrounded the ONCE Of Lawyer
Acuna, who has undertaken the defense OF
a former city ofAcial named Rivera, who
turned states evidence. Shots were fred,
put no persons sustained serious injury.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-05

time. On this trip the run was made in
1921 and the one in the opposite direction
in 2:26, the average speed being 24.90 knots.
With the steam pressure above 200 pounds
McDonough once more was sent for the
mark. The double run this time averaged
26.S knots.
By his time everything was at the high
est tension and 100 yards from the mark
the naval Splinter was fairly kissing
through the water.
Going over the starting line It was
making something over twenty-eight knots,
and for a minute or more this terrific
speed was kept up, but suddenly the steam
pressure dropped, and when the mile was
finished 1t was found that 1t was still a
trife under the contract, a 27.4s knot gail.
Again the destroyer. with every bit Of
machinery working at the highest speed,
rushed down for the line. This time there
was no falling off in tho steam. 1t not
only held, but jumped up to 260 pounds,
and with each screw making 355 revolu-
tions per minute the boat kept its speed
Of over twenty-eight knots right up TO the
end. The time for this last mile was 2:06,
or at a rate of 1856 knots per hour, which
will stand as McDonough's maximum of
speed.
1t was then decided to take the one Just
before, and the mean OF the two was found
to be 2S.O2 knots per hour. This result
was accepted by the government board.
Later McDonough was headed straight
for Boston nghtship and for forty-fve min
utes everything worked smoothly. But
| Just as It was getting we'll up to Minots
an operating valve on the automatic shut
of blew out and the trial came to an end.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-05
N. Y. Plumbing Co.. Telephone 5ss.
Plumbing and heating. Bixby g sor
Ready for the Retailers.

The Wholesale agricultural implement
houses OF Council BLUFFS are making elab-
crate preparations to entertain the retail
ers who will attend the Iowa and Ne
braskR Retail Implement Dealers conven-
ton, which opens In Omaha Tuesday and
lasts over Thursday. All Of the houses on
implement row are arranging for a display
OF their goods and their customers will be
provided with the best OF everything in the
eating and drinking line. Several Of the
larger houses will have quite elaborate
luncheons served each day during the con-
vention and a number Of entertainments.
including a theater party. are on the pro-
gram for the convention days. Local
wholesale implement men anticipate a
larger attendance of the retailers this year
than for many years before and are max
ing their arrangements accordingly. II Is
expected that between 500 and 700 retail
dealers from Iowa. Nebraska, South Da-
kota and Minnesota will be in attendance
at this convention.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-05
MINOR MENTION,

Davis sells drugs.
For rent, modern house, 719 Sixth Ave.
Expert watch repairing, Lefrert, 400 Bway.
ohlcer is selling dwellings cheap. 4s BY.
Picture framing. c.. E. Alexander & Co,
1893 Broadway.
Born, to DR.. and Mrs. f. T. Seybert. Sun
day morning, twin daughters.
Wanted, a good cook. Mrs. Charles T.
Stewart. 26 South Sixth street.
Cut prices on art calendars and blotters
for New Years gifts. Alexander g. Co.
Miss Hazel Rockafellow of Atlantic, Ia,
is the guest of Miss link OF Fourth street.
The public schools of the city will reopen
this morning, after the Christmas vacation.
will Install officers this evening and initiate
candidates.
We are headquarters for glass of all
OIL and Glass Co.
Mrs. J. c.. LANCE is entertaining her
sister, Mrs. s. r. Cheadle. and daughter
Corrine, of Ottumwa, la.
The, regular meeting Of Fidelity council,
Royal Arcanum, will be held this evening,
when the recently elected officers will be
installed.
The art department of the Council Bluffs
Woman's club will meet this evening in
the club rooms, with Miss Margaret O'Don-
nell as leader.
Mrs. Nevin c. Lescher and children OF
G~alesburg, Ill, arrived yesterday on a
visit to Mrs. Lescher's sister, Mrs. Victor
L. Bender of Fifth avenue.
c. H. Smith, q student in the state Agri-
cultural college at Ames. is the guest Of
G. c. Nye. Mr., Smith is a member of the
famous "Six-Foot' club OF the college.
A warrant was issued yesterday after
noon from the court of Justice Bryant for
the arrest of Ruben Ingram and Frank
Shadden or a charge of ~assaulting G.. F
Taylor.
The first regular meeting of the Council
BUNS Ministerial association for the year
will be held this morning in the Broadway
Methodist church. Officers for the ensuing
year will be elected.
There will be a meeting of ~Shadukiam
temple, Dramatic Order Knights of Khoras-
san, Thursday evening TO make arrange
ments for holding a Ceremonial" Thurs
day night. January Is.
Edith. the 13-year-old daughter of Mr..
and Mrs. II. L. Hyatt of Woodbury. avenu
died yesterday morning. The funeral will
be held this afternoon at 2 o'clock from
the family residence and interment Will be
in Walnut Hill cemetery.
The winte- term at both day and night
school of the Western Iowa Business and
Normal college will begin Monday jan
uary s.. Those intending entering soon
should make arrangements to enter Monday
partner will be organized then.
Mrs. Mary D~efinbaugh, aged II years,
died yesterday morning at her home, 126
MINISTER street. Her death was due to the
infirmities of old age. Five sons and three
daughters survive her. Arrangements for
the funeral have not been completed.
The election Of officers of the Woman's
Home Missionary society of the Broad
way Methodist church will be held Thurs
day afternoon at the home of Mrs. A. e.
Grifflth on Oakland avenue. The Woman s
Foreign Missionary and Ladies' Aid socie-
by Mrs. Arthur and Mrs. circuit at the lat
ter's home on Oakland avenue.