davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Lizzie Maud G1drzed
II Chance 600

Maud and Margery worried the lie
out Of their mother by running away.
At least once a week she would alarm
the neighbers, and hunt would be
started to find the runaways. Usually
they had not gone far, but their mother
was very much frightened every time
she missed tha |itt:" lMidGets. She de-
termined to b:".:.l .'!i.'i.! OF this Trek
Calling them to l. r:'cm one day, she
said: Now, | have never whipped my
little daughters, but ii they run away
again both Of them are going to receive
q smart whipping. Now, remember
that the next time you are tempted to
leave the yard"
The two little sisters looked very
grave and promised never to run away
again. But few days after they for
got all about their mothers injunction
and raced out of the yard and far down
the street Their mother found them
talking to a big colored man and grim
" brought them home. Then she took
them into the house. gave them the
switching promised and sat them down
hard in two little chairs in the nursery.
Maud's screams were terrific, and as
her mother heard them from the Il
brary downstairs she said to herself,
"Well, I guess the punishment has
made al impression on those children
and they won't run away again.
Just then there was momentary
lull in Maud's yelling, and her mother
heard Margery sob out: Now, Maud.
you just stop crying minute. 1 want
to have 'em hear me cry!'-New York
rTYp,nc
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
$b5OORFSzETT5&xa712
NsHo sAksm0F Be CUREQ

Backed up By over q third of century
OF remarkable and uniform cures, record
such as no other remedy for the diseases
and weaknesses peculiar to women ever
attained, the proprietors and makers Of
DR.. Pierce's Favorhe Prescription now feel
fully warranted n Offering TO pay $500 in
legal money of the United Statee, for any
case of Lsueo,rtea, Female Weakness,
ProIapsus, or Falling Of Womb which they
car,lot cure. All they ask is a fair and
reasonable trial of then means Of cure.
They have the most remarkable record
Of cures made BY this world famed remedy
ever placed to the credit Of any prepara-
ton especially designed for the cure Of
woman's peculiar ailments.
A besu.ih.l Georgia lady, Vice-President Of
the East End Palmetto Club, of Savaurah, and
prominent socially there, relates the following
experience: 'You certainly have proauseeo, s J., tae ne
be hed In the country. want to recommend
it especially to mothers. wss seventeen yesrs
old when my darling boy was born. Felt very
exhausted aud weak tor long upe. , ano IL IL
sister iu-law bought me bottle OF Dr.. P1erces
Favorite Prescription (ater had tried several
of the other en'edies which are 50 much od-
ve .tised. and found no relief). had little faith
Ia the r,ediciae at the time and was SO weak
and sick that felt discourage, but within
week after had commenced taking your Pre-
sc1ipt;ou was like different woman New
Hfe snd vitality seemed to come with each suc-
ceeding day. until, in few weeks, was In 6ne
health and a happy, hearty woman. My boy
is now two years old, aud, thanks to your splenc
Gid medicine, am enjoying perfect health II
9, any time feel tired or in need Of tonic
few doses of your Fsvocite Prescription re-
cuperates me at opee. Ny address is No. S11
Jones Street, East. Savannah: Ga.
Mrs. SUSIE WILLIAMs
TO DR.. R. " Pierce, Buffalo, n Y"
Accept no substitute for "Goden Med
ical Discovery There IS nothing Just
as good for diseases of the stomach, blood
and lungs.
The Common Sense Medical Adviser,
1908 large pages in paper covers, IS sent
h1ae cu receipt Of 81 one-ceat stamps to
pay expense of mailing only. Address
DR.. r. y. Pierce, Buffalo, y. Y.
DR.. PieFce's Pleasant Pellets are ladies'
laxative. No other medicine equals them
for gentleoees and thoroughness.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Sir Boyle Roche.

In every account Of the Irish parffa-
ment Sir Boyle Roche comes IN with
the persistency Of King Charles head
in Mr.. Dicks memorial. His bird is
as we'll known as the pheniX and bids
fair to share its Immortality.
"Sure, MI Speaker said Sir Boyle
on the occasion that has made him IA
nous, how could q man be in two
places at once-unless be were a bird?'
But Sir Boyle Is not mere creation
Of legend. He was real living man.
a fine, bluff, soldierliSe old gentleman.
holding sbme post at the vice regal
court sitting for a government borough
and always voting faithfully for the
castle" The debate one night was on
sinecures, which Curran had indignant
" denounced. and. twitted by one Of
the opposite side on some personal in
consistency in the matter, he replied
hotly:
"Sir, am the guardian OF my own
honor"
To which Sir Boyle neatly rejoined:
'Then the gentleman himself has got
a very pretty sinecure."-All the Year
Round.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
JOHN O'GROAT'S HOUSE.

Famous Domicile That Was Long
a Landmark In Britain.
In the reign Of James ". Of Scot
land John O'Groat and his two broth
ers, Malcolm and Gavin. arrived at
Caithness and bought the lands OF
Warse and Dugisby, near the beach at
the mouth Of Penand firth, the north
eastern extremity Of the mainland of
Scotland. In time their families IN
creased until there were eight house
holds CT the same name. They lived as
nci.hnors in the greatest peace and am
tty, each year holding festival IN the
original house. At one Of these annual
gatherings the question Of precedence
arose among the younger members,
and they disputed as to whom should
sit nearest the head OF the table, or
enter the room first
The old grandfather, Johnny OGooat
Of history, was made arbitrator. He
promised to have all satisfactorily set
tied by the time Of the next annual
meeting. Accordingly he built an eight
sided house in which to hold the an
nual jubilee. This octagonal dom1clIe
was fitted with a door and window
on each side ands a round table In the
center. This arrangement made 1t pos
sible for each family Of the OGpats
to enter by his own door and to sit at
table which was practically without
head"
This famous house was long land
mark in Britain and even to this day IS
one of the Englishman's starting points
of measurement. Lands End to John
ny O'Groat's" signifying from one end
Of England to the other.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
An Annetf8eY.

In the family of Mr.. H., treasurer
of one Of our states, was small boy
Of four who was the possessor Of a
fine rat terrier. One day the dog rnys-
teriously disappeared, and the child,
Ralph, was heartbroken. Soon after
ward Mrs. H. gave an informal dinner
to other state officers and their wives,
and Master Ralph was allowed to be at
the table under promise Of good be-
havior. Things went on smoothly till
the meat course, when a fine roasted
pig was brought in, and Ralph thought
his long lost pet was going to be served
to the guests. He arose in his chair,
pointed at the pig and with tears in his
eyes and voice cried: "Oh, my doggte,
my doggie! want my doggie.'-Good
Housekeeping.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Herbine

Renders the bile more fluid and
thus helps the blood to flow; it affords
prompt relief from biliousness, indi-
gestiop, sick and nervous headaches,
and the over-indulgence in food and
drink. Herbipe acts quickly, a dose
after meals will bring the patient
into good condition in a few days.
q. L Caldwell, Agt. NJ. 4. and L.
R. R, Cbecotah, Iod. Ter, writes,
April Is, 1903: Il was sick for over
two years with enlargement Of the
liver and spleen. The doctors did
me DO good, and I had given up all
hope of being cured, when my drug
gist advised me to use Herbiue. 1t
has made me sound and we'll" SOC.
Sold by The Kaufman Drug Co.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Dyssnterv Cured Without the
Aid Of A. Doctor.

II am just up from hard spell of
the fux" (dysentery) says MIR. T. A.
Pinner, 8 we'll known merchant OF
Drummond, Tenn. II used one
small bottle of Chsmberlain's Collie,
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy and
was cured without having a doctor.
I consider it the best cholera medi-
cine in the world" There is no
need of employing a doctor when
this remedy is used, for no doctor
can prescribe a better medicine for
bowel complaint in any form either
for children or adults. It never fails
and ia pleasant to take. For sale by
The Kaufman Drug Co.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
For Over Sixtv Years.

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup
has been in use for over sixty years
by millions of mothers for their chill
dren while teething, with perfect
success. It soothes the child, softens
the gums, allsys all pain, cures wind
collie, and is the best remedy for
Diarrhoea. It will relieve the poor
little sufferer Immediately. Sold by
Druggist in every part of the world.
twenty-five cents bottle. Be sure
to ask for Mrs. "Winslow's Soothing
Syrup" and take no other kind. tt
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
CownrdIy Brave Hen.

It is related of a Missouri engineer
that he does not hesitate to drive his
machine at full speed through the
blackest storm at night with wash
outs all around him. but that he is
afraid to go home alone in the dark. II
some one is not at the roundhouse to
30 with him be sits there till daylight.
It is the old story Of every man having
his own peculiar fears. There is doc
tor we know who will cut a man to
pieces and smile the while. He IS an
old soldier and often faced the can
mons mouth. But he will betray the
most abject terror if one Of the harm
less little elm tree worms happens to
drop on his person-kansas City Jour
n0l
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
WORK AND REST.
When They Alternate Perfectly, =
Man VIII Enjoy Both.

When They Alternate Perfectly, q
Man wiz Enjoy Both.
After work comes rest. When they
alternate perfectly 4 man may prepare
to enjoy real happiness. When they
alternate perfectly man will enjoy
both the work and the rest that fol-
lows it.
NaNre is q just old lady. She seldom
gives 4 man more than be needs II Re
elects to li;:c lazy life she let's his
muscles get fabby and his brain go
sleepy. She never permits him to long
possess a faculty or a nerve or mus
Gle or sinew that be does not use.
The proper way to keep your muscles
or your brains is to use 'eln up and let
nature provide you with a fresh sup
ply. Nature is assisted in this work by
rest. One may rest sometimes by seek
ing q change Of labor. Labor thus be-
comes a neutrality-suspicious.
70 live happily in this world it is not
enough to know how to work. 4 man
must also know how to rest. The man
who knows only how to work will soon
wear out If he doesn't wear out i'm
mediately his work will suffer in some
way. No man can do his best work un-
less he aHernates it with little play
or little rest.
4 man who can't drop MS work from
his mind as readily as he can drop his
toois from bis hands had better take a
few weeks off to study the rest ques-
should be.
If man wishes to keep his nerve, let
him avoid nerves-Pttsburg Dispatch.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
The Menu Card In Its First Form.

The Menu Card In Its First Form.
In it's old fashioned form the menu
was usually written large on cards Of
such imposing dimensions that room
for one only could be found at each
end of the board. In the medieval
dinner This aid to selection must have
been an absolute necessity, for the
medieval dinner was q mine Of sur
prises. 1t was divided into courses. as
are our own dainty meals. but whereas
nowadays the diner has a general idea
that fish will follow soup and that en-
tree is succeeded by relieve, and can
conceive generally the sort Of demand
that each course will make upon his
appetite and digestion. there was no
possible arguing as to what was going
to happen at an early English dinner,
and close study fails to reveal the ex-
istence Of any principle Of arrange
ment.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Animals and Telegraph Poles.


"A strange thing IS the effect Of elec-
trical energy on birds and wild beasts, +"
says telegraph lineman quoted in the
Philadelphia Record. 'Woodpeckers
are continually tapping telegraph poles.
In the country you will find every
where poles honeycombed by the
sturdy bills Of woodpeckers. The birds
mistake the humming sound inside the
poles for the humming Of insects, and
it is to get at these supposed insects
that they make their perforations.
Bears. on the other hand, think the
humming comes from bees, and they
overturn the stones at the poles base
In their endeavor to get at the honey.
Wolves are afraid Of the sound. A
wolf won't 90 near q telegraph pole
under any circumstances"
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
PocfjcoQ ConcesSiOn.

Sir Walter Scott was asked why he
had made Ellen Douglass the lady Of
the lake.
Because" be replied, IF had made
her the lady Of the river there might
have been q run on the bank"
Realizing the poets pecuniary condi-
tons. his friends congratulated him on
his foresight.-Ncw York Tribune.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Doctors Recipe For Lemonade.

Here is q scientific recipe for lemon
ade advocated by the medical profess
sion: Wash the lemons thoroughly;
slice thin and peel all. Cover with
sugar. allowing the sugar to become
Saturated with the lemon juice by gen.
tly pressing the slices Of lemon with a
spoon. Then add water. slowly stirring
all the while. Ice, If used, should be
used sparingly. Onethird Of a lemon
to glass is about right for home use.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
BETTING the Crime.

He stole a kiss, a very little thing.
And for the crime he sought. to make
amends
BY placing on the grieved ones hand a
ring.
This done, you'd think just restitution
ends.
But, law appeased, twas made a church
affair;
The two were bound who'd caused this
bit of STRIFE.
Though but a kiss he stole. no more I
swear,
The sentence Of the rector was, "For
life"
Roy Farrel Greene in New York
Times.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
A Good Suggestion.

when I write a story" sc6S the
struggling young author. II max" out a
list of ten magazines that think
might like 1t, and l usually get mighty
close to the end Of the list before l sell
it,"
I'm that case" returned the wise
business man, II should think It would
pay you to begin at the other end OF
your t"-Chicago Post.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
That Time Is Past.

"a poor man." remarked Weary
Wraggles from the northeast corner Of
the haystack, "ain't got er chancet even
to gether der crums from de rich mans
table nowadays"
"Dat he amt" replied Tired Tatters
cheerfully, "fer most Of der rich men
has got such bad digestions dat dey
don't eat nuttin' but milk an eggs."-
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
The Gloatiag.

Bonney-Come, now, be frank! What
is there at the beach that Is SO delight
full?
Feldby-Oh. there's nothing there
that's delightful. The delight comes
when you run up to town and tell the
can't-get-aways what splendid times
you're having down by the sea.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Not Paid by Results.

"Ts the profession Of weather proph-
ecy a satisfactory one?'
WELL" answered the expert lin
general way it is. You see, rs a rule,
the income is not 50 unreliable as the
predictions "-EXchango.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Sure Thing.

Hobo Charley - Say, loidy, II dat
dawg bites me he dies. See?
LADY, believe you. 1 don't see how
he could ever recover from it.-Balti-
more American.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
A Serious Affair.

"You say that French editor was
wounded in q duel"
Eyes. just as he was turning to fire
his foot slipped, and he sprained his
ankle."- e."-Washington Star.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
his Estimate of HiznselT.

Clara-Pa. George says he isn't half
good enough to be my husband.
Father-Humph! He talked to me
as If he was plenty good enough to
have me for q fatherin-law.-Detroit
Free Press
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Kept His Word.

ShAYou promised to stop smoking
when we were married.
He-Well. they won't allow you to
smoke in church.-Brooklyn Life.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Not Tint Way.

'They say" he remarked, shat grip
can be caught by kissing"
THAT can't be the only way. though"
she answered. Mother had it last
week, and now fathers down with it."
Chicago Record
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
To Prevent a Re1npRe

Wffe-So, doctor, you think my hus-
band Is entirely out Of danger now?
Doctor-Yes; but l wouldn't let him
see my bill for some time yet--Balti-
more American.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
The Ahsurtlity Of Il.

Mrs. Skrapp-lt seems to me to be 50
ridiculous to refer to tugboat as "she."
Mr.. Skrapp-That's so: tugboats do
actually accomplish some good in the
sorld.
Mrs. Skrapp-Yes, and they puff and
blow about it so.-Philadelphia Press.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Self interest.

$50 you want to see the government
owning everything"
81 do" answered MI. Sirius Barker.
"I'm tired Of paying taxes."-Wash-
ington Star.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Ccverless Carts.

Dubbs+Chubbs turned psematurely
gray the other morning.
Tubbs-Why. how did it happen?
DubbstThey were collecting ashes in
his block.-New York Herald.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
EOt PouuISr.

Miss Prim-No. never dance. When
q man asks a girl to waltz with him
it's Just the same as if be were to ask
her, May hug your
Miss Pert-Oh. yes! And so they
never ask you to danee.-Philadelphia
Press.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
A Society Woman.

Nell-Is she a society woman?
Belle-Yes, indeed. She belongs to
no less than eighteen societies for the
suppression of as many things.-Phila-
delphia Record.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
DISQUALIFIED.

"Why, what's the matter, BrdgetT
"Your husband says, ma'am, my
cooking reminds him too much OF
yours. Life.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
UncOnseSOusness.

'But is there such q thing as an un-
consciously pretty girl?''
Certainly. When a pretty girl
knows everybody knows she's pretty,
Of course she's unconscious. Why
shouldn't she be. pray"-Detroat Free
Press
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Fluent.

"Bixby's wife can converse in five
languages
Eyes, and can't keep still in any one
Of them."-Judge.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
A Second Thief,

"Some mean sneak ran off with my
umbrella today"
with your umbrella?"
well, with the umbrella have
been carrying all week. "-Philadeiph
Press.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Under Water.

"What was the trouble?
''tle couldn't swim"
What has that to do with his fail
ure?'
"He got into Il company where the
stock was all water''-
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05

kidney trouble.
Kidney trouble causes quick or unsteady
heart beats, and makes one feel as though
they had heart trouble. because the heart is
over-working in pumping thick, kidney
poisoned blood through veins and arteries.
1t used to be considered that only urinary
troubles were to be traced to the kidneys,
but now modern science proves that nearly
all constitutional diseases have their begin
ming in kidney trouble.
lfyou are sick you can make no mistake
by first doctoring your Kidneys The mild
and the extraordinary effect of DR.. Kilner's
SwamD-Root, the great kidney remedy is
soon realized. 1t stands the highest fo. its
wonderful cures Of the most distressing cases
and is sold on its merits E
by all druggists in fifty @sTE5 .:s:;a s';;;aa
cent and one-dollar siz sssS s = s
es. You may have .sas. GsSG.Sss2 s.:::ssssssee
sample bottle by mail Home of swampRoot
free. also pamphlet telling you how to find
out if you have kidney or bladder trouble.
Mention this paper when writing Dr.. Kilmer
& Co., Binghanton, N. 7.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05

Bow Cured Of Collie After Ply
sician's Treatment Had
Failed.
My boy when four years old was
taken with collie and cramps in his
stomach. I sent for the doctor and
be injected morphine, but the child
kept getting worse. I then gave
him half teaspoonful of Chamber
lain's Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy, and in half an hour he was
sleeping and soon recovered:-F: l..
Wilkins, Shell Lake, Wis. Mr.. Will
kips is book keeper for the Shell
Like Lumber Co. For sale by The
Kaufman Drug Go.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05

The first question every child asks
on reaching home IS, "Where Is moth
er%-AtchiSon Globa
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05

The kidneys are your
blood purifiers, they fill
ter out the waste or
impurities in the blood.
If they are sick or out
Of order, they fail to do
their work.
aims, aches andrheu-
matlsm come from ex-
cess Of uric acid in the
blood, due to neglected
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1903-08-05
Over=WOrk Weakens
Your Kidneys.
Unhealthy Kidneys Make Impure Blood.

All the blood in your body passes through
your kidneys once every three minutes.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1903-05-05
Life Imprisonment for Murder of Goebel.

Life Imprisonment for Murder of Goebel.
Frankford, Ky, April 3O.-In the
third trial of James Howard for the
killing of Governor William Goebel
over three years ago, the prisoner
was found guilty. The jury first re-
ported that it could not agree.
Judge Cantrill then sent it's members
back with instructions to remain
until an agreement was reached.
And half an hour later the jury
again reported with a verdict of
guilty, and fixing the punishment at
life Imprisonment.
The jurors all voted for a verdict
of guilty, the disagreement being as
to the extent of punishment. Death
was favored by all but Juror Burkes,
who announced that he would under
no circumstances vote for the death
penalty, and a verdict for life sem
tence was agreed upon.