The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-02-08
.SORUNS THE WORLD
The journal Of a Literary Aspirant Who
StToVe to Win, But Who Lost in the
Struggle So Manu- Have Faced.

/ capital. but Carlos was so happy, and
said it seemed so like old times: and
then We came up TO my rooms and
smoked and chatted. Carlos smoked his
college pipe, a great meerschaum. which
he had spent his four college years in
coloring- When he got up to go home
he looked at the pipe tenderly. and
turning TO ne, said:
odd chap, I want to give you this
pipe know you like it. and I want you
TO have it
Tonight 7 an dazed. I have today
been searching for a position. for some
thing to do, for anything by which a
gentleman may earn his bread. ! have
urged my ability. have offered 10 do
anything that . gentleman may. I have
called on everyone of influence in the
commercial and literary world. They
decline 10 see that I need what I ask
for; 1 cannot impress them with my
seriousness. Great heavens Is # only
the creatures who wear their hearts on
their sleeves. and who shed tears in
public. that can be taken se-iousIy7 Is
sympathy given only to noisy anguish?
Is helping hand held out to him who
whimPers about his troubles aud wines
for help?
an getting depiorabIy thin. I fancy
it is having SO much uncertainty on my
mind. Ny clothes are really absurd.
they hang so loosely upon me. Carlos
came back from a yachting trip today,
looking brown as berry. He looked at
me minute. and then said:
'Jove, old man. you've grown thin. I
suppose You are working like a slave,
and l dare say you've ruined ynur ap-
petite I don't believe you eat enough.
Good Carlos. could not tell him how
right he was, nor why.
Look here. old chap. come away aud
dine with ne III bet iii order din
0er you can eat, said Carlos.
A man who has not the price OF g
dinner for himself may net accept din
ner from his friend, so I could only say:
Thank you. no. Carlos have some
work to do. III get a bite later" and
Carlos was hurt and left me,
I wonder what men do who are as poor
as I and have others dependent upon
them. Thank God. have no one, no one
TO whom I am everything. If ANYTHING
should happen to NE. a lot OF people
would be mildly sorry for 4 few days.
and say:
Clever chap. but lacked foree.'
Brilliant, perhaps. but. oh, so iH-baI-
anced,' Then they would forget ne.
Carlos? Wen. Carlos would care. YES.
and grieve truly for the friend that he
loved. without ever understanding
Ny ten days grace with the rent is
up I must give up my rooms. but I
will give lem w il my own way. I
have been Isading, in something of Kip
Iing's. how the chaps in India speak Of
dying as going OFT" think I will go
out"
I don't like the idea Of suicide. I re-
member at gay gatherings I have always
held II cowardIy and weak I have said
that man who took his own life was a
AOol well vas ii6utf ne Is a 1901,
therefore he should die
I wonder if I have strength enough to
carry me TO the riyer-the river that
Will be kind 20 me and tell no tales. 7
must destroy this journal first. or all
my efforts to keep my secret viii be
lost, and they viii know I have been
hungry.
The papers of the next morning con-
tanned the following notice:
Suddenly, of heart failure. John Car
Isle, aged thirty years. Interment at
Fairfield
Mr.. Carlisle, whose death occurred
yesterday. will be much missed in liter
airy and artistic circles. where he was q
great favorite. He has been a eontribu-
tor 10 most of our periodicals, and
welded brilliant pen. Mr.. Carlisle
was man of wealth and good social po-
sition. He has been in failing health for
some time"
It was Carlos who came in late that
night to find his friend lying with the
pen still in his fingers. pointing toward
the unfinished sentence. No one but Car
los has ever seen that journal. and it is |
Carlos now who writes it here, that
those who run may read, and learn the
lesson.
THE END.I