davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
No Laundries In China.

Its the funniest thing to me-" said
an old sea captain who for many years
was in the China trade, that nine out
of every ten Cinnamon who come to
this country open laundries and engage
in business which does not exist in
their native land.
"As every one knows, the Chinese at
home wear soft cotton and wooden gar
ments, according to the season, and
there is not a pound of starch in all
China. Stiffiy starched clothes are I'M
known, and the Chinese men do not
do the washing as they do in this coun-
try. Neither is there any regular laun-
dry in the Flowery Kingdom. There
fore it is more than passing strange
that Cinnamon should all come to
America and engage in trade so for
eign to their home industries. "-Balti-
more Sun.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
MIXED THE LETTERS.
Serious Result Of Fool Man Trying
to He Eacetious.

to he Eacetious.
well known citizen Of Clay Center
had been invited to an evening party.
He wanted to go, but his wife declared
that she had no gown suitable for the
occasion and asked him to send ire
grets'' to their hostess. The man went
down to his Office and penned this face
tious note of declination:
1--WE regret that your kind invitation
must be declined for all the convention
al reasons, but the real reason is that
half the family has nothing to wear.
My wife's latest dress is over three
weeks old, and her hat is twelve hours
out of date. You will appreciate the
hopelessness of the occasion and ex-
cuse u.s.
He thought this pretty good, and he
determined to write note to his wife
also explaining that he would not be at
home for an early dinner, as she had
asked him. He said in this note:
Il have turned down your invitation
because am going out to another even
ing party where the guests are not ex-
pected to wear anything Of importance.
Sorry / won't be there to kiss you good
night"
And then the fool man carelessly sent
his wife's note to the hostess and the
hostess note to his wife.-Clay Center
Times
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
CHARM OF THE ORANGE.
The Evolution of the Universal
Fruit of Commerce.

For centuries the orange was the ex-
elusive possession of the Latin, Mon
golian and Malay races Then it was
carried to India, then to America and
fell under the improving touch Of the
Anglo-Saxon. Bringing together the
Incompatible Jaffa, as z Seeding, from
Palestine, the Melitensrs from Malta
and others, he budded and grated in
Florida until the fruit was brought,
through blending and selection, to the
highest pitch of perfection, as it SEEM
ed.
But, strangely enough, there came
out of the province of Bolivia, Brazil,
still another seedling-one of those con-
summate blossoms of perfection
through centuries of waiting on ma
ture by the Latin which the American
accomplishes by cross pollination in
five years-the Bahia or navel orange.
1t had reached the acme of quality not
only in flavor but in its attribute OF
seedlessness.
Now, is not that proper food for the
ultimate mana fruit which has no
progeny, no future, no possible func-
ton except as a minister to him? The
orange has been called the universal
fruit of commerce, and so it is, for its
aroma carries it unframed, the acrid
juices of it's peel protect it against in
sects, it's toughness endures long trans
portation, and everywhere on earth
men eagerly seek it's subtle charm and
It's exquisite nectar.
The orange is not strictly food, but
it is greater. 1t is the connecting link
to q higher status, the guarantee and
preserver of health and of intellect. The
gross gormandizing on meats, the curse
of drink, burning the brain, hardening
its delicate convolutiOns-thesea are the
fountains of ills innumerable, the pangs
Of govt, the sudden and black terror of
apoplexy. But this gentle and benign
pharmacop9ia of nature, these fruits
with their wonderful blending of cor
receive acids and cordials, are the ready
medicament of the ultimate man. AS
we advance in horticulture and develop
other seedless and perfect fruits we
shall approach the perfect regimen of
higher humanity. - Florida Times-U
lon.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Disguised Hands Always Bad.

Here is a TRUTH" says a handwrit-
ing expert in the Philadelphia Record,
.'that is as widespread as the ether: A
disguised hand always tries to be poor
er than the real hand. That axiom is
a great help to us experts. For in
stance, when a letter done in dis
guised hand is brought to us we al
ways know that the writer of the let
ter is in higher station than the hand
would lead us to infer; hence in our
detective work we are able to save
much valuable time by eliminating all
persons socially below the appearance
of the letter and concentrating our at
tention on those only who are above
IT."
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
"Mercuriale Swords,

When was it usual to insert running
mercury in the backs Of swords?
This was comparatively common
practice among the Italian, French and
Spanish swordmakers of the sixteenth
and seventeenth centuries, but it was
more of a fancy than anything else, for
it never came into general use. 1t was
not, of course, used for rapiers or the
lighter kind of swords, but for the
heavier cutting swords. ~
The method was to cast the blade
rather broader at the back than usual,
with hollow running down it. This
was half filled with quicksilver and
sealed up. The idea was that when n
blow was struck with such a sword
the quicksilver would fly to the point
and so increase the weight of the blow.
This theoretical advantage, however,
did not at all counterbalance the gen.
eral clumsiness of the weapon and its
unhandiness in guarding, and SO the
mercuriale swords, as they were called,
from which their ingenious inventor
hoped so much, were rather military
curiosities than practical successes
London Answers.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Indian Doctors Use.
An interesting character. frequently
met with in the Andes, is the Gala
9uayas, or Indian doctor. He is every
where and is trader, tinker. peddler,
fortune teller, conjurer and magician
His knowledge of botany is as mys-
terious as it is comprehensive. and the
most astonishing stories are told Of his
cures.
A man in Lima was lying at the
point of death with disease which
baffied physicians who brought diplo-
mas from the medical schools of Paris
and Vienna. One evening two of the
physicians stood talking of the case at
the sick mans door, without noticing
humble, barefooted Indian who lean
ed against the wall. AS they departed
the Indian entered the patio and asked
to see the sick man. The family re-
ferred him to the attending doctor,
who, amazed at his audacity, exclaim-
ed:
what do you know about disease
that puzzles the best physicians in
Lima :"
Il have herbs that will cure every
thing" said the callaguayas.
The doctor smiled in scorn and turn
ed away The Indian opened his pack,
took from paper a single leaf and
handed it to the physician, asking him
to smell 1t. He did so, and instantly
his nose began to bleed, and he was
unable to stop 1t.
The Indian stood stolidly by for
time, then handed him another leaf.
saying, Smell that and the bleeding
will stop"
The result was what he promised,
and the physician was interested. In
the end the callaguayas saw the sick
man. He selected herbs from his stock,
brewed a tea and gave it to the patient,
and the sick man recovered. BE
tween the Andes and the Ocean,"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Lose not the glory of the sun by al.
ways seeking to count the spots upon IT..
Group.

The peculiar cough which indicates
Group, is usualls we'll known to moth
ers of croupy children. No time
should be lost in the treatment of it,
and for this purpose no remedy has
received more universal approval than
Chamberlain's cough remedy. Do
not waste valuable time in experiment
ing with untried remedies, no matter
how highly they may be recommended,
but give this remedy as directed and
symptoms ofcroup will quickly disap-
pear. For sale by A. II. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Something to he Thankful For

A Scotchman who has keen appre-
citation of the strong characteristics Of
his CO, .ntrymen delights in the story of
a druggist known both for his thrift
and his philosophy.
Once he was aroused from deep
sleep by the ringing Of his night bell.
He went down to his little shop and
sold dose of rather nauseous medicine
to distressed customer.
What profit do you make out o
that?" grumbled his wife.
"A ha'penny," was the cheerful an
swer.
"And for that DIT O. money you'll lie
awake maybe an hour" she said impa-
tiently.
Never grumble DER that, woman"
was his placid answer. THE dose will
keep him awake all night. We must
thank heaven we ha' the profit and
none O the pain o this transaction"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
AUDUBON FAIR MEETING.
Secretary Elected. Date September
IL, 3 and 4.

Monday the following directors OF
the Audubon County Agricultural So
ciety met at its regular meeting: Geo.
Ross, Cameron; Sparks Baker, Lin
coin; A. H. Edwards, Douglas; Fl. w.
Stearns, Leroy; L. Anciaux, Greeley,
Geo. Gill, Hamlin; w. c. Boysen,
Sharon; N. P. Hoegh, Oakfeld.
OJohn Weightonresigned as secretary
and O. B. Train was elected for the
coming year. He is familiar with the
work, having assisted, and will be a
good secretary.
The date of the fair for this year
| was fixed for Sept. /, 2, 3 and 4.
John c. Bonwell was appointed
director for Viola township and E. B.
Perry for Audubon township.
The fair grounds were leased to the
Audubon Driving Association for the
purpose of holding race meeting
July 4.
G. w. Hoover was granted privilege
to erect building on the grounds for
exhibition purposes.
| The executive committe was autho-
rized to build a new amphitheatre cost
ing about 100000.
The Audubon ADVOCATE was autho.
rized to get out the premium list books.
The association seems to be in a
prosperous condition. Much improve
ments have been made in the grounds
in the past few years and as will be
seen by this report more are planned.
The fair is a splendid thing for the
interests of the county. All ought to
lend it their influence and help.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

A naturalist, while visiting Great
Sangir, one Of those islands of the In.
dian ocean known as the Celebes, OF
Spice islands, found curious time re-
cOrder lodged at the house Of rajah,
Two bottles were firmly dashed togeth.
er and fixed in a wooden frame. A
quantity Of black sand ran from one
bottle into the other In just half an
hour, and when the upper bottle was
empty the frame was reversed. Twelve
short sticks, marked with notches from
one to twelve, were hung upon string.
A hook was placed between the stick
bearing the number of notches CORE.
spending to the hour last struck and
the one to be struck next. The sentry
announced the time by striking the
hours on large gong.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Conspiracy.

"Squibob, you are still reporting for
the Daily Bread, aren't you?"
Eyes"
Say, l am going to spend the even
ing with the daughter Of old Professor
Noett, and he doesn't like me a bit. I
want you to help me through"
'Me? What can do to help your
Call on him in his study about
o'clock and ask him this question: Pro
fessor, to what do you attribute the
decay Of DarwinismT"
What good will that do?"
Hell spend the whole evening argu-
Ing to prove that Darwinism isn't de-
caying. "-Chicago Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Johnny's Awful predicament

JOHNNY wish my folks would
agree upon one thing and not keep me
all the time in q worry.
Tommy--What have they been doing
now?
Johnny-Mother won't let me stand
on my head, and dad Is all the time
fussing because wear my shoes out
SO fast.-Boston Transcript.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Municipal Aid.

WELL" remarked Miss Innocence,
"the government may not believe in
women taking the initiative in matters
Of love, but this city certainly does"
Il don't see how" replies Miss An
tike. with more interest than might
have been expected.
ITS plain as print. The city clerk
is advertising in the newspapers for
sealed proposals." replies Miss limo
cence.-Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
The Irishman and the Army Null

General Phil Sheridan was at one
time asked at what little incident did
he laugh the most.
WELL" he said, II do not know, but
l always laugh when I think of the
Irishman and the army mule. 1 was
riding down the line one day when I
saw an Irishman mounted on a mule
which was kicking its legs rather free
ly. The mule finally got its hoof caught
in the stirrup, when, in the excitement,
the Irishman remarked, Well, begor-
ra. If you're goin' to git ON I'll git off,"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
How Unenviable!

There goes De Speptic, the great
financier. He looks so extraordinarily
happy that I'll bet he's cornered some
stock that will net him millions"
my, he's far happier than that! His
doctor has just informed him that he
can eat the whole Of one egg for break
fast tomorrow without hurting his
stomach. baltimore Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
THE COOKBOOK.

Dip sliced onions in milk before fry
ing.
Use bacon fat for frying chicken.
game, oysters and clans.
A ham is greatly improved If, after
being boiled, it is wrapped in buttered
paper and baked for an hour.
In making sauces always dissolve the
butter in the saucepan, add the -four
first and after that the water or stock.
A mingling of Glove and lemon fayors
In the afternoon tea Is delightful. Drop
q whole Glove in each cup just before
serving.
In taking pie with meringue from
the oven, If 1t is left in the warm kitch-
en- the meringue will remain fluffy. but
if taken into the cold it falls.
II turnips are parbolled twenty min
utes in water to which little baking
soda has been added and then this wa
ter is thrown off and fresh water used
to finish cooking, they will cook more
tender and be Of much better favor.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Public Sale.

will sell at public auction at my place six
miles west and two miles south Of Audubon and
two miles east of Poplar on
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY IA
commencing at 10 o clock q m thefollowingtdes
cribed propertyto wit
work horses, they are well matched, u head
cattle, onsisting of milch cows. two heifers
to be fresh In the spring. yearling steers, 4
steei calves. heifer calf, two year old bull,
20 head Of hogs, 10 are sows supposed to be
with pig, 10 shoats.
Farm machinery: wagons, / buggy, Nc
Cormick binder, Mccormick mower, ! 10 inch
stirring pillow, ! Kingman Disc, cultivstor, IA
section harrow, corn planter and 80 rods Of
wire, I seeder, grind stone, 2 sets OF
double harness, set fly nets, feed grinder
hay rack. saddle, some seed corn. 10 tons tame
and 90 bushels seed oats. Some household
goods and other articles. Free lunch at noon,
Usual terms.
Chris Nelson,
Auctioneer PETER RASMUSSEN
Peter Lykke Clerk.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
A Difference.

"Actors are not much like ships" re-
marked Hamlet Egg thoughtfully.
"Why this observation" inquired
Brutus De Trick
We'll" answered Egg, ships are
sometimes stranded on the rocks. Ac.
tors are stranded because of a lack of
rocks."-New York Times.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Horace Vernet is the best example
Of visual memory. He could paint a
striking portrait of man, life size, aft
er having once looked at his model.
Mozart had great musical memory.
Having heard twice the "Miserere" in
the Sistine chapel, he wrote down the
full score of it. There are soloists who
during twenty-four hours can play the
composition Of other masters without
ever skipping note.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Notice Of Probate of VIII.

District court In and for Audubon County.
State of Iowa, -
Audubon County,
To all whom 1t may concern:
Whereas,0n the 30th day OF December A. d. 1909
a paper purporting TO be the last will and tes-
lament OF Andrew Hansen, late OF said county,
deceased, was filed In my of1lce, and was BY me
1908, appointed and liked as the time when the
same will come before the court At the March
term thereof then to be held, for dnal proof
and probate as the duly executed last will and
testament of.the said Andrew Hansen, deceas.
ed, at which time all persons Interested may
appear and show cause why the same should
not be admitted to probate.
Dated this 3oth day OF December, 1909.
LID. HILL,
Iva Clerk OF District Court
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Mr.. and Mrs. Emil Bilharz expect
to leave Saturday of next week for a
three months trip. They will go to
Chicago and join his brother and wife
and go on the Illinois Central to New
Orleans. From there they will go to
Ell Paso, Tex, and then on to the
City of Mexico, the capital of old
Mexico. After visiting there they will
go to Southern California spending
some time at Los Angles and Catalina
Islands. 1t will be delightful trip es-
pecially at this time of the year.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Get free sample of Chamberlain's
Stomach and Liver Tablets at A. H.
Roberts drug store. They are easier
to take and more pleasant in effect
than pills. Then their use is not fol-
lowed by constipation as is often the
case with pills. Regular size, 25c per
box.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Following Custom.

"Whoopw yelled the excited inebriate
as he rushed into the hotel. 'T'm a ter
ror! I'm a man eater! I'm the biggest
gun that ever hit the pike! Wow"
ITS customary" remarked the
bouncer as he gazed at the subsequent
wreck outside, when a gun is loaded
to fire t."-Baltimore News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Fame.

$50 Ambishious has achieved fame.
has he?" asked the philosopher.
- "He has," replied the cheerful chap.
Brilliant things said by other men are
now credited to him."-Cincinnati Com
mercial Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Fresh Daily.

"And do you understand" asked the
Sunday school teacher, why you pray
for your daily breadY"
"Oh, yes" replied little Elsie. THAT'S
SO well be sure to have it fresh. Phil
adelphia Press
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

will cry sales In Audubon and ad.
joining counties. Terms reasonable.
Have had several years experience.
Satisfaction guaranteed. Address me at
Audubon or call on me at my farm in
Melville township. L. N. Estes.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Jay Shingledecker has purchased
the John Hite property in the south
east part of town. The house is not
quite completed, but will be soon. 1t
is nicely situated and is a good and
commodious building. Mr.. Single
decker and his family will be very
welcome to our town.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Grammatical.

Mr.. Kallow- Er-beg pardon. Miss
Snappe, but can smoke?
Miss Snappe-pn sure l don't know,
but If you've never tried before please
don't begin here Philadelphia Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
AUCTIONEER.

Icry sales in Audubon and adjoining
counties. Have had 20 years expert.
ence. Have cried hundreds Of sales In
this neighborhood. My customers are
my recommendations. r. N. Carper,
~ Audubon, Iowa.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Horses.

/ will be at Audubon Thursday,
January Is, and Manning Saturday,
January II, for the purpose of buying
horses and mules. Bring in your
stock and get the highest market price.
b. w. ELDER.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
State of lows
Estray Notice.

Taken up as an estray, by L. G. Kopp at his
residence in Cameron township, Audubon
county, Iowa, on the 10Th day Of November,
1902; one red male calf about one year old, no
marks, and posted before V. f. Horton, Justice
OF the Peace A. F. GREENwALDT,
2-3w County Auditor.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Domestic Troubles.

1t is exceptional to find family
where there are no domestic ruptures
occasionally, but these can be lessen
ed by having DR.. Kings New Life
Pills around. Much trouble they save
by their great work in stomach and
liver troubles. They not only relieve
you, but cure. 25c at A. Fl. Roberts
drug store.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

George Russell, until recently OF
Atlantic, but now of Audubon, spent
a couple of days here the last of the
week visiting with his parents and
other relatives. Dem. (Guth-
RE Center
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Rev. and Mrs. j. NJ. Conner an
nounce the arrival of little daughter
at their home last evening.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Special meetings are being held at
the Ross M. f. church each evening
this week. Everybody is invited to
attend. G. w. WEYRANCH,
Pastor.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Carey & Gardner, auctioneers, will
cry sales In Audubon and adjoining
counties. Stock sales a speciality.
Satisfaction guaranteed. Dates made al
BagIey & Nelson's office, Audubon.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Parental Discipline.

Nervous Parent-Stop that! Haven't
told you the last fifty times I had to
correct you for that wouldn't speak
to you again about it?-Los Angeles
Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08
Competition.

The Second Story MAXWELL, Bill,
how's business?
The Bank Burglar-Well, were hav-
in lot of competition from de fellers
on de inside.-Puck.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Mrs. Hersman is visiting at Valley
Junction, being called by the illness
of their little grand child.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Doctors Little Girl--Your papa owes
my papa money.
Lawyers Little, Sirl-That's nothing.
Papa said he was glad to get OF with
his life Baltimofd american.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

e. Brady will cry your SALESMAN ex-
perienced man. Make your dates at
this office.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

II you are in need of any sale bills,
horse bills, or anything in the print
ing line do not fail to see US.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

By.a series Of elaborate experiments
a scientist has come to the conclusion
that bees are not so intelligent as house
dies
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

w. H. Kelly and family left for
their new home at Ames Monday.
General regret is expressed at their
departure. Before leaving the |. O..
O. F. lodge here, of which Mr.. Kelly
has been secretary for several years,
presented him with beautiful cane.
Mr.. Kelly had been good and faith
full secretary and he and his wife, son
and daughter had been much help to
that lodge as we'll as the Rebeka s..
May they prosper in their new home!
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Some men start wrong and are late
at ;ao every s;ss station all through life-A'eh'
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Theron Creveling, of Gray, was a
visitor here last week.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-08

Sheriff Anderson discovered Kirk
Winchell was in jail in Minnesota,
put there for robbery, and went up
last week. got him and he is now in
jail here again. 1t will be remem-
bered he is the man who burglarized
the Gault store last year, and later
broke Jail here. He will likely be
tried at the next term of court and
take a trip to FIT. Madison.