The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-03-13
cured me right away.-somerville
(Mass.) Journal

z.-s.e
cured me right away.-somervilie
(Mass) Journal.
Pauline-Tm sorry the winter is 50 far
I;enelope-so am I; I've had such a
becoming hat.-Detroit Free Press.
I'm positive this is my umbrella, but
can't prove it, exactly, insisted the
craftsman.
"Of course you can prove it." replied
Sharpe, If there's any truth in the old
adage; Stolen goods belong to the
thief Catholic Standard and Times.
How does young Swift manage to
uncork so much champagne? He
doesn't earn any money
We'll, he pulls the same cork over
and over
Why, how do you mean?'
Has a rich uncle with a cork leg
Kansas City Journal
First Chauneur-He seems to have a
whole lot of sporting blood, doesn't hep
Second Chauffeur-HoW' that2
He's had two arteries severed in
auto wrecks in the last week and he's
not dead yet. ''-Yonkers Herald.
That man who has charge of the lake
IS .yS.sry original"
Yes. I told him not to allow any. corpu-
lent people to skate. so he put up sign;
Thin ice for thin people Chicago
News.
A young woman gives US the following
beautiful little bong mo" concerning
sWeet hearts:
'sweethearts are like electric cars. When
you lose one wait a minute. There viii be
another around the corner. Chicago Rec
ord-Herald.
Say. Weary"
How would you like to be bug in that
$4,000 rugg' -Cleveland Plain Dealer.
What do you consider the great essen
tial of d flying machine2"
And after much elaboration the aerial
"a good parachute Washington Star.
He-What makes you smack your lips
shelf you don't like. the way I smack
my lips, perhaps you had better smack
them yourself.-Chieago News.
Mrs Baeon-They say the founder is an
industrious fish and lays 100000 eggs in
Mr.. Bacon-Yes. and you might add. does
not cackle about it--Yonkers Statesman.
softeigh-Are you quite sure Miss Banks
is not in2
The Maid-Of course. 1 am. She gave me
one OF your photographs in order to make
me doubly sure.-Chicago Daily News.
shall I brain him?, cried the hazer, and
the victims courage fell
on can l. 1t IS q freshman. just NIL
him on the head.'f-Sphinx.
Life is short. .Three-quarters. of it is a
Press.
CSoodman-There's this much about it.
when you're drunk you can't expect to
see single man with any respect for
Tanhey-That's right: can't exshpec' t
shee single man-ev'ry one h double
Philadelphia Press.
Shopper: I hardly know what kind of
a hat 1 do want. It's for special coca
Milnner. IF YOU would tell me what the
special occasion is might aid you in max
ing selection.
ish and up-to-date but not too fairy
something suitable for a lady to wear at
City Journal.
Telegram from married man to his doc
tor: 'fMother-in-laW at deaths door. come
at once and try and pull her through. -
London King.
II wonder" said the. Gilmor street resi-
dent, who originated the expression.
II dunno" said the East Ender, but
I'll bet he made the remark before my
furnace was invented. Baltimore News.
Yankee Doodle came to town
A-riding on a trolley.
81 m in a hurry. so, says e,
Il wish I'd walked. by golly.''
Brooklyn Eagle.
He rs this a new tete-a-tete?"
She: yes: isn't it odd?'
He: 1T is. It seems to be built like
box with no opening beneath it"
She: Yes; that was my idea; wanted
one that my little brother couldn't crawl
under. - Cleveland Plain Dealer.
An essay which you straight forget,
A photographic scene;
pallid little novelette,,
A modern magazine
Washington Star.
One of the boys has handed to me the
following touching little bit of verse:
The man who says
1T
is
VIII always have sympathy,
But he who says
"Sezs
SEE
he
From him. o Lord. deIiver. me!
-Pittsburg Dispatch.