The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-02-24

{
FRED c. SLATER.
ANNOUNCE MYSELF AS A CANDI-
9ate Tor the nomination Of city clerk, /
subject to the Republican primaries;
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Murphy: An can We ricommind him?
casey; OF can Faith, he is a
moighty foine docther. Lasht Siptim- !
Der, whan little Katie wor Frustrated
with dlfthayrie an braythin her lasht /
piith' u said: Docther, viii she live
till morning ?" He said: ''Dinnis, don't
worry" he said; she VIII live" he said, /
TIL nanny years afther We are dead
and under the sod
An did she2''
She did."-Kansas City Journal
The man who gives up his seat in
a crowded car isn't always so polite at
home.-Philadelphia Record.
De Bore Do you know, Tennyson's
poems carry me completely away?
Miss Pert. Really? I'm very sorry
I mat haven't volume with mel
Boston Globe.
Merily, merrily run the cops,
Raiding the turf concernsi
But the crop of suckers never stops.
Here where the money burnsi
As long as men can fake up schemes,
OF unearned money-winning.
So long theren be new, varied dreams,
And suckers for the skinningl
Chicago Journal
When a fellow has written an ode to
his beloved's ''ebon locks" it rather
dampens poetic ardor to discover after
marriage that she wears a switch
Pittsburg Dispatch.
E2ic-ae. t. s- r. II &c 4-.
Nellie. She has told him that she will
be a sister to him
Griggs: Sho! Does she hate him as
bad as that?-Boston Evening Trans
cript.
Mrs. Noorich-Isn't it grand to ride
IN your own carriage2 Mr.. Noorich-|
Yes, but I'd enjoy it more if 1 could
stand on the sidewalk and see myself
ride by--Brooklyn Life.
Didn't I hear the cook call you by
your first name % Don't say a word
natured Cleveland Plain Dealer.
You are my ideal. won't you be my
wife?" Il prefer to remain your ideaL5'
Town and Country
Miss Passay-That wealthy Mr..
Hunter was pleased to say that / in
ueresred him. Miss Sharpe-The ideal
How rude Of him. Miss Passay-Rude2
Miss Sharpe-Yes: he's a collector of
antiques.-Philadelp Press.
zone Of your customers was praising tha
milk. you serve. He likened it to pure
'.Ah! indeed; indeed?" smiled the milk
esure. He said your milk is like jewel
of the first water. Baltimore Herald.
Mrs. HarIemhat petdshly)-George,
wish you would rock the baby
Harlenfiat (gruffly)-Whatn I rock the
Mrs. Harlemfat CbristlingJ-Becaus he's
not very we'll and what's more. half of
him is yours. and you should not object
Harlemfiat-WeiI don't half of him be-
long TO you2
Mrs. Harlemfat-Yes.
Harlernhat-Weu, YOU can rock your half
and let my half holler.-New York Times.
scribbler-Confound it. Maria! didn't
tell you not to let the baby touch any
His Wife-yVeli, you know I can't watch
her all the time. Has she done any mis-
seribbler-I should say she has. She's
written historical novel-Judge.
Chose German gunners are improving
with practice.
Yes. One Of them at 500 yards dis
tance hit Venezuela three times out of
hye.'-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
What bothers me-" said the new pris-
I oner, is the thought of a long trial, and
weary months in jaiir
Don't let that disturb YOU replied the
High sheriff T. We i, Just got w 19 fhat
sharp Atlanta Constitution
The Artist-What do YOU think Of those
charcoal sketches of mine2
/ The Friend-It seems too bad taste to
waste the charcoal when fuel is so high
! Xonkers Statesman
Il came in today. said the shopper,
ito see those swell sideboards Of yours
man in the furniture store. I amt never
wore anything but mustache ''-Phila-
delphia Press.
First Gateman-Who is that woman who
about the schedule for fear her train will
Second Gateman-She's headin' a bunch
| o. delegates goin down t. a meeting o. tn
American League o Don't Worry Clubs
Baltimore News
Really, must admit said Mr.. BoreTn.
I've been very slow about paying this
Don't apologize" replied Miss Tyre
Dout' suppressing a yawn, they say its
! Philadelphia Press.
"REMINISCENCES
She ltenderly)-DO you remember how
we used TO eat our supper under this tree
pointing to an elm), and how the nightin-
He-Ah. yes: and whenever hear a
nightingale sing TO this day, it always
makes me-hungry -Adeggendorfer BIaet-
4 JOURNALISTIC POPULARITY
How do you like my new print dress ~
asked the first editors wife who was lr-
/ rayed in q calico CONNECTION.
1T must be an extra, said the wife of
the rival editor. 7 see it has scare head
I over it,
Two forms were pied that day.-Phila-
| deIphia Press.
DO You keep late hours. young man ~
asked the blue nosed woman of the clerk
in the music store.
We've got The Clock in the. steeple