davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
THE AUTOMATIC WAITER.
An Illustrative Instance of the Per-
functory Working of "A Hash
Singers Intellect.

II believe that there is no work in the
world that makes such machines of men
as does the business of waiting in some of
business mai, sTbe brains Of the waters
seem to work like monographs. What they
hear In the way of orders given them is seem
ingly registered and reproduced without
any apparent mental activity or realization
of exactly what the order means. The other
morning, for instance, l overheard this
dialogue and monologue in a Park Row
restaurant. Two men seated at the same
table gave their orders to the same waiter"
relates the New York Times.
Bring me a couple of soft-boiled eggs
and cup of Coffee said the first man.
Same thing for me, waiter, said the
second, adding in a jocular way: but be
sure the eggs are fresh
All right was the reply.
And a moment later his voice came from
the back of the restaurant: 'Soft-boiled for
two-an' have two of 'em freshi'
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
THE "oPEN SESAME"


The man that grins and bears 1t
Doesn't have so much to bear,
For grin is like a comrade
Helpin' lift your load of care.
And the griefs an cares an worries
Hardly ever won't come in
If you meet them in the doorway
AND say ''Howdy!" with grin.
Grief won't ever cross your threshold
If you greet her with song,
Sorrow, too. will stop her ears up
An go fittin' right along,
And you won't have time to worry
Over things that might have bin
If you keep your eyes before you
An do business with a grin.
What makes Nature so derned pretty?
Amt 1t just her winsome smile?
Flowers noddin' ev'ry which way,
Birds singin' all the while?
An the perfumed breezes chucklin'
An the giggle tricklin' in
From the brook away out yonder,
She's just pretty for her grin!
She's just pretty for her daisies
An her skies transcendent blue,
An spring blossomed branches smilin'
THROWN kisses down TO you;
All the world is full Of pleasure
And it's yours to enter in.
But remember that the signal
At the portal is a grin.
j. II. Lewis, in Houston Post.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
Crons for yK.,1 Lands.

AS to crops that will stand frost on
muck lands, millet will do very well,
yield a large crop and be quite safe
from frost. There ought to be no diff
Guilty in getting a corn crop in an aver
age year on muck soils in central
Indiana, for we have succeeded in rails
ing very satisfactory crops at points
considerably north of this on the same
use of 200 pounds kainit to the acre, APP
kind of land. If the corn is chaffy the
piled broadcast and plowed under, viii
very materially improve the quality
and yield of the corn.-Director ID. A.
Huston. Ind. Exper. Sta, in Farm and
Home.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
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- TT
DIAGRAM OF HoGHoUSE.

of an outside run, ard / shall build
cement floor III my own hoghouse. I
would not recommend building stone
wall over three to 3h feet high. In
my own building l shall not build
wall over one foot i'll height, and shall
make floor on level with it with suf-
ficient slope from center of alley to
drain off all liquid. | would not build
in side hill, as | think it would be
too damp. | would not build a two
story hoghouse; would advise build.
ing your corn house by itself, and make
it so you can drive in and unload on
either side of wagon. The diagrams
shown in cut are of the buildings that
| intend to build for myself Rural
New Yorker,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
DUTCH IN SOUTH AFRICA.
Are Better Farmers and P0Itti-
clans Than the English, Says
an English Writer.

The Dutch are better men on the
land than the English. Mr.. Rhodes
affirmed it as strongly as Benjamin
Kidd. Not only are they better men
but they are much cleverer politicians,
writes w. Z. Stead in Booklovers Mag
azine. DR.. Gordon Sprigg, the pres
ent premier of Cape Colony, told me
last year that the rough Dutch farm
ers from the back country had such a
natural intuitive genius for politics
that after three weeks in parliament
they could give points to any British
member who had been in the house
for months.
Not only are they better men all
round on land, not only are they ADLER
politicians all round in the houses of
parliament, but, what is far more i'm
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

portant, they are better breeders of
men. The British colonist, following
the example of the Frenchman and the
New Highlander, shrinks from the
primal task of multiplying and increas-
ing and replenishing the earth. The
Dutch cradle is never empty. If the
hand that rocks the cradle sways the
world, it is not less true that the race
that fills the cradle will possess the
world. Hence the destiny of South
Africa seems tolerably certain to be
that of a federation of self-governing
states, prominently Dutch. which will
or will not be sheltered by the union
jack, according to the readiness of the
imperial government to recognize
that it has no authority over African
ders.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

she goes" And Lieut. Robert Emmett
Kavanaugh sighed.
Bob Kavanaugh couldn't keep any
thing to himself, and in five minutes he
was telling his woes to Capt. Percy Ian
yard, of the artillery corps. "Brace
up, Kavanaugh, said Lanyard;
"Muggs is going to send general pris-
oner through Chicago to Fort Sher-
man to stand trial. He was going to
send a sergeant in charge 1t isn't a
very pleasant duty, but if you'll vol
unteer, l think Mugs will send you,
and you can stop off on your way back
from Sherman-it is only few miles
from ChicagO-and see your blue-eyed
Norah before she gets on the Florida
limited"
Twelve hours from that time Bob
Kavanaugh was sitting in smoking
car on, a Chicago bound train, with a
big Colt revolver strapped around him,
and an enlisted man. with a downcast
look, sitting alongside of him. Bob
Kavanaugh had soft heart. The
soldier at his side had seen eight years
of service. and had never been in
trouble before. He had assaulted the
stop" sergeant, serious offense in
the army, as may go without saying.
''Cheer up, Spencer" said the lieu
tenant; you've been good soldier.
as l know, and I don't think it will
go very hard with you-six months at
the most-and then you'll be restored
to duty"
Il hit him all right, lieutenant" an
swered Private James Spencer, "and
he deserved it, if ever man did. but
you can't do such things in the army.
no matter what the top says to you,
and so I'm good for two years and a
'bobtail' discharge. It's tough. never
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
PREPARATION OF WOOL.
CareIessness In This Work Entails
u Loss of Several Million Dol
lars in Each Season.

The wool man may know how to sell
wool. He may even know the true
grades of wool and how to grow it,.
Whether the wool man is a composite
character, possessing the above knowl-
edge or separate man in each of the
classes named, he should be reminded
of the fact that the wooden cloth max
er knows what is most desira BILE in a
fiber; that is, whether it is of even
grade, whether it has good tension
capacity, will felt evenly, or is not in
the bad company of a mere handful OF
even a few straws of coarser fleece.
Even trace or mOhair in wool, for
instance, or wool in mohair, for that
matter, is disastrous, for it can only
be got out at the factory by extra cost
in sorting. This intrusion may be had
by packing one grade of wool in the
bags which formerly held another
grade. Cloth is frequently met with
which has a black hair or a lumpy
streak and the like. The wool which
produced this off-grade cloth or sec
onds loses to the seller as it doesto the
manufacturer. The wool sharer or
puiler should be most careful with his
feeces, that they may be marketed at
the highest prices, and, hence, to the
best advantage. The production of
wool in this country is about 100000
900 pounds. A loss of one cent per
pound on it would mean $4,000, 900.
Carelessness entails greater loss
than one cent per pound. While the
wool seller is looking at the market in
the abstract, the wool buyer is looking
very closely at the fleece. The pro-
Queer could profit also by as close
scrutiny of his product.-Nationa
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
Indian Peers.

All will agree in acknowledging the
great antiquity of the titles ard posi-
tions held by the most of the ruling
chiefs of India. Why not, therefore,
give a few of the more important
ones a place in the house of lords?
It is within our knowledge that this
important matter was laid before her
majesty, our late beloved queen, and
that she heartily acquiesced in, and
approved of. the suggestion.-Anglo.
Indian Review.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
NEW IDEA IN FEEDING TROUGHs.

foot from the floor. A bracket is fast
ened to the wall for the trough to rest
on when in use. A two-inch strip is
nailed at the front edge of the board
to keep the food from rolling off. Aft
er the fowls eat, the trough can be
hooked up out of the way, and in this
way kept perfectly clean, and cleanli-
ness is great feature in successful
poultry raising.-John Rowe, in Farm
and Home.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
The Germ Theorx.

Since bacteriology has become a
recognized branch of medical science,
''too much attention has been di-
rected to the germs, and not sufi-
cient to the soil in which they grow
Alarmist articles seldom suggest the
comforting truth that although
countless bacteria assail us they can
not flourish in healthy body.-Lon-
don Lancet.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

Everything is ready for the cere-
mony, L trust?" said the foreign
groomslnan, at the interna tioral mar
rage.
''All seats have been reserved for the
collectors sent by his lordship's cred
itors?"
''Three pews from the front, sir,
where they can KEEP him continually in
sight"
"Good! Then let the wedding pro-
ceed." - Cincinnati Commercial-Trib-
nne
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
PLANS FOR HoGHoUsE.
The Advice Here Given Is Good In
Spite of the Fact That 1t Is
offered Gratis.

1 shall build a house 22x60 feet, six
foot caves, with one-third pitch roof,
with an alley six feet wide through the
center of building lengthwise. This
will leave pens on either side eight feet,
and they can be made Sx10 feet or more
or less as seems best. | shall make
mine 8x10; this will leave me II pens.
AS regards the use of cement floors,
| have not seen any bad results from
them where the hogs had the privilege
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
Her Preference.

Fashionable Doctor-My dear.young lady,
you are drinking unfiltered water, which
swarms with animal organisms. You should
have it boiled; that will kill them.
Patient--Well, doctor, l think I'd sooner
be an aquarium than cemetery.-London
1it-RitS
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

Here's a story, the truth, of which is
vouched for by an English lady resident in
Florence. She has balcony that over
hangs street in which are some shops,
and few days ago an American mother
and daughter paused to look in at the win
dow, and interchanged the following re-
ma rks: Mamie, are you quite sure that this
is Venice Why, yes, mamma, was the
reply, you know it says in our itinerary
that we are to be in Venice on April 10, and
to-day is April Is, sureH London Mod
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
lively Occupation.

ture the question asked by the young man
might not seem wholly unnatural
'And were you never in the country dur
ing the season of husking-bees, Mr.. So"
asked the young lady.
mo. The idea! How do you husk q
bee. anyway Philadelphia Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
HANDY FEEDING TROUGH
1t Promotes Cleanliness Which Is TIN c
Greatest Feature In Successful
Poultry Raising.

A handy arrangement for feeding
soft food or mashes is shown herewith.
Two boards are nailed together, and
one is hinged to the wall about one
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
Onions Make Fine Skin.

The women of Bermuda are noted
for their fine compilations. This is
partly accounted for by the fact that
they eat plentifully of onions.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
Ladies' Can Wear shoes

One size smaller after using Aliens Foot
Ease. A certain cure for swollen, sweating,
hot, aching feet. At all Druggists, 25c. Ac-
Address A. S. Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

The fool sits down and waits for extraor-
binary opportunities 10 come his way, but
the wise man grasps common chances and
proceeds to make them great.-Chlcago
Daily News
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

Over on H street in a room above a
store a pretty, pale girl sat talking to
a soldier in uniform. cts all up.
Polly" he was saying. 81 hit the top
sergeant. He deserved it, but [ was
put in arrest and was to be tried, and
it meant two years. [ just cut away
from a cit whom the officer who had
me in tow left me in care of. The
officer went to see his girl. / guess
he's in love, or he wouldn't have done
such a fool trick. Well I'm in love too.
Polly dear, but I've got to get out of
this as soon as / can get other toys on. {"
"Oh, this is awful, JIM" said the girl,
"and you'll be a deserter too"
81 won't get any more for that than
I'll get for the other don't like the
idea any better than you do. | guess
the officer II get it harder than l will
It's neglect of duty with him, and that
IL kick him out of the service. I'm
sorry for him, for he isn't half a bad
sort" Then suddenly changing the
subject the soldier asked: ''How's
your mother?"
''Better, Jim, but she'd have died if
it hadn't been for Miss Norah Des-
mond. She's an angel. | had to stop
work to nurse mother, and the money
gave out and [ got sick, and Miss Norah
gave us nurse and a doctor and did
lots else. / think she saved my life,
too"
''Norah Desmond, Polly? That's the
name of the girl the lieutenant [ cut
from is to marry. He'll be disgraced
and the girl will suffer. She saved you
and your mother, did she, Polly? Get
on your things quick. She leaves for
Florida / know the train. The lieu
tenant IL be there, know that Hurry,
girl"
Lieut. Robert Emmett Kavanaugh
was kissing Norah Desmond good-by.
His face was pale and anxious. ''I'm
afraid it's all up with me, Norah," he
was saying, "but keep up a good
heart"
Just then from behind him came a
voice loud and with something of a ring
of humor in it. "Sir, all are present and
accounted for" Kavanaugh turned
like flash. There stood Private Spen-
Ger saluting with his right hand, while
his left was holding that of a very
pretty girl.
Spencer, you're BRICK said Kav-
anaugh, and nothing but army train
ing kept him from slapping hisinferior
on the back. ''Pll use every official
friend 1 have to get you out of your
scrape."
A year later in pleasant quarters at
Fort Grady sat Capt. Kavanaugh and
his wife. ''Norah," he said, First
Sergt, James Spencer has applied for
furlough to go to Chicago to get mar
ried Shall l approve the applications"
Bob, if you don't" said Norah, with
her eyes dancing. 'I'll get divorce. =
Chicago Record-Herald
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

"The Klean, Kool Kitchen Kind" is the
trade mark on stoves which enable you to
cook in comfort in a cool kitchen
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

Where there is much pretension there 10
much deceit.-Addison.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infalli-
bic medicine for coughs and eolds:-N; w.
Samuel, Ocean Grove, n. j., Feb. II, 1900.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

People who live only to amuse themselves
work harder at the task than most people do
in earning their daily bread H More.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

The gourmet's rule: "Never put Of till
tomorrow what you can eat to-day. "-Yon-
kers Statesman.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

People who accomplish most make the
least nose.-Chicago Daily News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

Opium and Liquor Habits Cured.
Book free. B. M Woolley, NJ D., Atlanta, Ga.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

Putnam Fadeless Dyes cost but 10 cents
per package.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

Candour without courtesy is not courage.
Rams Horn.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

saw the inside of the mill before in
my eight years service, except when I
was on guard"
Part of a freight train went into the
ditch ahead of the Fort Grady passen-
ger train. Kayanaugh and his prison
er were delayed five hours. The lieu
tenant funied and said things under
his breath. Finally the way was
cleared and the train ran ON to Chi
cago. 1t was Thursday and in four
hours Norah's train would leave for
Florida. 1t was utterly impossible for
the officer to get his prisoner to Fort
Sherman and to return in time to say
good-by to his fancee.
Kavanaugh and his charge stepped
from the train into the Chicago depot.
Bob's heart was sore. 81 must see her"
he said to himself. 81 can't stand it
for six months" At that instant he
saw at the depot cigar stand, making a
purchase, Jack Bacon, Chicago club
man and an intimate friend. Kav-
anaugh hurried his charge over toward
the young fellow. "Jack, old man, glad
to see you. You have an hour or two
to spare, / know you have; don't say
no." and with this the lieutenant
grabbed his friend by the arm, mo-
tioning his prisoner to walk ahead, and
the three went on half trot into the
office of a hotel across the street. Kav-
anaugh threw two-dollar bill before
the clerk and ordered room. He hur-
ried the astonished Jack Bacon and the
prisoner into the apartment on the
second floor.
Jack" said Kavanaugh, in low
tone, "as you love me. watch this man.
! must see Norah Desmond. She's off
for Florida. Take this gun, and don't
fail me-" and with that First Lieut..
Robert Emmett Kavanaugh showed a
revolver into Jack Bacon's hand, bolted
through the door, out of the hotel, and
on to a trolley car. In 20 minutes he
was with Norah Desmond, who was in
the midst of the last hour of prepare
ton for her Florida trip.
In 20 minutes more the doorbell of the
fat rung violently. The maid opened it.
and in rushed Jack Bacon, flushed and
fairly beside himself "Bob, he
yelled, your prisoner skipped. He
kicked open a door into the next room
and jumped onto low roof and then
into the alley. / took a pot shot at
him, but missed, and when | got down
he was clean gone"
Bob Kavanaugh sank into a chair
his face pale. Nora he said, "this
means court-martial and dismissal for
me, unless 1 can catch the fellow. It's
a clean case of neglect of duty, awful
neglect of duty, and old Mugs doesn't
love me any too well anyway. It's
all up. dear, if L don't get him, and if
I'm kicked out of the army, / don't
know what I'll do. I can't even dig a
ditch, though I'd try willingly enough
for you. But this won't catch him
I'm off. but I'll be at the train to say
good-by," and Kavanaugh was out OF
the door and down the stairs four
steps at time.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04

Not failure, but low aim, is crime.-J. r.
Lowell.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
Stops the Courl,

and works off the cold. Laxative Bromo
Quinine Tablets. Price 25 cents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1903-06-04
AEzruu,
RlalzfMz1alz1&S -
=: 5 -!
*@>ss7p lijll!lljijllIiiliii;I
The Ills of Women Act upon the
Nerves like Firebrand
The relation of woman and geneatve
closes consequently nine enths of the prosao
arise from arrangement of the organism which makes
her Herein concuvey that Lydia f. Pinkhams
Vegetable Compound will quickly relieve all this trouble.
Details Of Severe Case Cured in Eau Claire, Wis.
"DEAR Mrs Il have been alng from female trouble for
the past FIVE About month ago was taken with p5
dciaI effects Of lydia b. nkhams Vegeabie Compound expert
y it's happy
using few bottles feel like aches and pains all gone
preparation which has
Claire Wis Nay 49, 1901
Nothing will relieve this distressing condition
surely Lydia E. PnIzham's Vegetable Compound; 1t
sOOtes, strengthens, heals and tones the delicate
female organism. Tt is positive for all kinds of
female complaints; that bearing down feeling, back
ache, displacement of the womb inflammation of the
ovaries, invaluable during the change of fe all
of which may help to cause nervous prOstratiOn
Read what Mrs Day says:
the benefit have received from taking your remedies suffered for long
Read what Mrs. Day says:

fev of
the benefit have received taking suffered for long
aon in the stomach after eating and constipation often thought
Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetable
Compound feeling like cannot praise too
all that it to
did will Lydia E. Pnkhams
trial.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-06-06
ington at about p. m. today, after
a trip Of $4,000 miles through twenty
one states.
Address at "a College Dedication.

Decatur, H., June president
Roosevelt made an address here indi-
dent to thededication of the James Mil
liken university, before 10000 people.
The presidents car was run to the uni
versity campus. He sao0k hands with
James AIillekin, who has given $780,
600 to the university, and during his
speech said to the school benefactor:
"Mr. Millken, | feel that as an Amer
lean it is proper for me to express to
you and to those like you the obl1ga-
tons that good Americans feel for
what you and they have done III the
university and in other educational in
situations throughout the land" Presl-
dent Roosevelt then spoke of the bene-
fits of such institutions to the republic
and of the duty Of students to use their
EQUATION in making good citizens. At
the Wabash railroad station the presl-
dent addressed another crowd made up
largely of railroad and factory en-
plOyeS.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-06-06
runcbeou with Governor Yates.
LAST SCHEDULED SPEECH
Spoken at Danville, as HiC 14.OOO-Mile
Tour Approaches Its End.

Danville. ILL.,, June 5.-President
Roosevelt delivered the last scheduled
speech of his long trip here, the home
of Representative Cannon. Notwith-
standing the inclement weat'; ne was
greeted by q large CROW =. The stay
here was but for ivy minutes, and
at GAO D. M his train left forIndianap-
oils. from whence it will 60 direct to
washington. The last day Of the trip
was in a measure an easy one. Stops
were made only at Lincoln, Spring
field. Decatur and Danville. The prin-
cipal speech of the day was delivered
at Springfield in the new armory build
ing.
The president was the guest at din
ner of the members of his party. The
meal was served in the dining car Gil
sey, the guests beside the president be-
ing Secretary of Agriculture Wilson,
Secretary of the President Loeb, Sena-
tors Beveridge ana Fairbanks, of In
diana, Surgeon General of the Navy
Rixey and Assistant Secretary to the
President Barnes.
The president will arrive at Wash