davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29
HE WAS A ..w1sE INDIAN"
story related by Uintah Reservation
Agent About Two Of His Red
Charges.

Indians soon part with their money.
And in doing SO they frequently dis
play remarkable traits of business
character. Agent Myton, of the Uin-
tab reservation, tells of a number of
partings with the lucre incident to his
recent payments of rental and other
incomes. An hour after one old buck
received $275 in cash he was seen driv.
ing about the reservation in a splen-
did two-horse carriage. The Indian
had no means of carting the products
of his range or fields, no wagon, no
COW, little clothing and less to eat.
Reprimanded for his improvidence, he
replied that ''white man rides in cor.
riages! why not indiana" He was told
that he should have purchased COM
mon heavy wagon, such as could be
used for farm work; and another In
dams purchase of such wagon was
told to him as wise purchase. The
Indian grunted at every word, looked
troubled, but gave no evidence of be-
ing favorably impressed, relates the
Salt Lake Tribune.
Next day Agent Myton saw his In-
dian Of spendthrifty inclinations rid
ing about in just such wagon as had
been named for him, and upon inquiry
it was learned that he had traded his
$3.50 carriage for the wagon; that as
soon as he had been upbraided the pre-
vious day he didn't do thing but hunt
up the wise Indian who had bought
jolt wagon" and propose trade. How
did you trade?" was asked. Carriage
his, wagon mine,,"' was the reply. The
trade was vehicle for vehicle! The
farm wagon cost the first purchaser
$40, the carriage $3.50. The wise Indian
took the carriage back to the seller
and got two wagons, two sets of har.
ness, blankets, and number of other
necessaries. When the first Indian
was told Of the trade made by the In
dian who got his carriage he expressed
no regret. He simply grunted,
shrugged his shoulders and exclaimed:
He wise Indian!"
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29
FIRST Need oe : Docter.

WI Ting Fang is fond Of relating story,
about Chinese doctor who didn't satisfy
his patient. The sicker the patient grew.
the more indignant his friends became at
the unsuccessful physician. At last, when
the sick man was in final stage and death
was imminent, the relatives laid violent.
hands 80 on the unfortunate doctor, and, ty--
lister . smart beating. But while bis assaii..
ants were looking for 4 stick with which to
beat him, the doctor freed himself, and.
jumping into the river, swan to safety.
When he reached home he found his son.
who was studying to be physician, por.
ing over book on medicine. "Put It up,
erimiy; the first requisite Of "a = doctor i
to know how to swim. not to cure."-San
Francisco ArRonaut. :.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29
HIT BEFORE THE SHOT.
The, vilIaIa In . Meaoarana Gives
Narksnanshlp.

Il vas in . downtown theater recently.
and the climax Of q tragedy was approach.
ing. Leading up toward this supreme mo-
ment, the villain, lolling IN : summer
garden, had been challenged to duel with
the hero; ays the Chicago Tribune.
Fight me! Fight mel" and the villain,
too full for further utterance ct the mo.
ment, pointed toward : bottle standing
empty ON . table thirty feet away.
The hero turned with supercilious glance
and looked: .
Watch"
Il WAS the, villain cue word, and he was
60 intent upon seeing that none Of ito
!aconic force was lost on the audience that
be must have been slow with the action.
just as his revolver appeared from rear
pocket and was rising il the villain : right.
hand
"Bingle- ting.le-tins!" =;
The neck Of the bottle burst in dozen
pieces and clinked to the floor; the aston.
ished villain. with the unexploded weapon
in his hand, stood there with fallen Jaw and
lowering arm, while the gallery simply
went to pieces in the delirium of it's joy.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29
Cheese Balh.

! Three cupfuls of grated cheese, salt
and pepper to taste, and the whites
of three eggs beaten very stiff. Mix
together, then form into small balls,
roll in fine cracker crumbs, and fry
in boiling lard. Serve very hot. =
Good Housekeeping.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29
orc Hole ID Leaat.

Hicks-I bought some oil stock nearly l.
year ago, and the fellow who sold It to
me declared the company was already in
operation: III bet they haven't sunk Z
single hole yet.
Wcks-Oh! / wouldn't say that. They
must have at least the hole in which they're
going. to leave the ockholders.-Cath olic
Standard and Times.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29

Do not believe Piso's Cure for Consump
ton has an equal for coughs and colds.-J
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29

~ Aching haclaass sased. Hip, hack, and
,loin pains overcome. Swelling Of The
limbs and dropsy signs vanish.
They correct nEino with brick dust sedl-
ment, high co!ored. excessive, pain 81
passing. dtbhnng. Frequency. Doan's
0dney Pills dissolve and remove calculf
and gravel. Relieve heart palpitation,
sleeplsssness, headache, nervousness. ..
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29

You must, walk long time behind : gan
der before you find peacock feather
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29

Stops the cough
and works off the cold. Laxative Bronze
Quinine Tablets. Price Is cents
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29
Dldn,t Concert Him

Lawyer-The jury has brought in Q
sealed verdict in your case.
Prisoner-Well, tell the court that they
needn't open it ON my Glasgow
Evening Times.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29

Little Girl-"A pound Of steak, please.
and cut it tough, will yer?" Butcher
lamazed) -"Why?" Little Girl" Cause.
il it's tender father eats It all!"-London
Taller
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29

Ennui is one of ourSgreatest enemies;
remunerative labor our most lasting friend.
-Moser.
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29

lows Farms % Per Acre Cash.
bal. 31crop tillpaid. Mulhall, Sioux City, Ia,
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29

CLEVELAND, KY, Dec. %. 1904
vas laid up in bed with my back and
The Cooperstown courier. (Cooperstown, Griggs Co., N.D.) 1902-1913, 1903-01-29

- .S.eS SO>e
you some bad news. The mortgage
on the farm has been foreclosed q
think that's the right expression),
and we have got to go. Where? Who
knows? First, think, to Los An
geles. My husband hopes he may be
able to get work there, but he is go
ing to try also at Pasadena, where q
friend Of his owns some livery stables.
That is q very pretty part of the coun-
try, and should look forward to the
change, if it were not for the terrible
anxiety Of finding ourselves without q
home and practically without money.
My husband begged me again and
again to allow him to borrow suffi-
cient money to send me home, at all
events, until his affairs were more
settled. In fact he pressed this point
SO often that began to think he
must be tired of me. But he wasn't!
How could I listen to any plan of
separation from him2 Now that we
are really face to face with calamity,
how pretty all your theories about
love seem! Now, at least, I know
how very right Iwas." [Some loving
messages and letter concluded.]
Letter 13.-"I must tell you at the
beginning that this letter will sur
prise you. We arrived atPasadena in
the evening. Truly this is one Of the
garden spots Of the world. The
mountains were capped with snow
which was flushed with sunset pink.
The air was full Of perfume of orange
blossoms and every other flower that
grows. On every side were beauti-
full homes, the streets, shaded with
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-06
A Natural History Study

HaroId Is N e

they flew onto the tree and off it and back
again a great many times. At last deeis-
ion was reached and on that very tree work
was commenced. The spot selected was
about twenty feet from the ground, on the
under side of a large branch which leaned
somewhat toward the south. One of the
birds began by cutting a circle about one
and half inches in diameter, and then dug
out the wood inside of it to a depth Of
two or three inches. Then, for some reason
which 1 could not determine. they ADAM
doned this hole and began new one on
another limb nearby. Here they hammered
away, the male and the female alternately
and the white chips flew around them as
they worked.
For eight days they labored hard; then
because no more chips were thrown out, l
presumed that the home was finished. Some
ten days later I enlarged the entrance
little. that 1 could put my hand into the
nest. Inside, the nest-hole was much
wider than one might have supposed from
CHANGING at the doorway, and opening out
into roomy cavity which extended down.
wards perhaps eighteen inches, affordng
ample room for the mother as she sat upon
her eggs. OF the latter there were seven,
transparent white, with pink veinings show
ing through the shell. The yolks, as In all
fresh woodpeckers eggs which have seen,
were plainly visible, and fioated lightly to
the top. no matter which way up the eggs
were held. The mother flicker. who had
flown out as l began to climb the tree, and
who had been reproaching me gently in her
own language, came back within three
minutes after descended and went to her
eggs with no more than a glance at the dis
figurement of her doorway.
Next time I visited the nest the young
birds were Matched, for as 1 tapped on the
tree-trunk there came from the hole a
sound like that made by escaping steam
or a singing kettle: the sound of very young
fiickers crying in chorus. AS the youngsters
grew older, their cries became louder. and
could be heard for several yards. They al
ways cried when either of the parent birds
alighted on the tree near the hole, or when
the tree was struck with a stick or stone.
I did not see the parent birds feed the
young. but we know from the observations
of Mr.. William Brewster that young flick
ers are fed by regulation in much the same
manner as young pigeons are given their
nourishment. The parent flicker thrusts
his bill down the throat of a little flicker.
and with his wings and tail, and in fact
his whole body, quivering with the effort,
he literally pumps the half-digested food
from his stomach into that of his offspring.
Some time before they were ready to
leave the nest, the fedglings would
scramble up to the mouth of the nest-hole,
and sometimes four or five inquisitive little
heads might be seen peering out at once.
If they caught sight of me. if 1 made
the least noise, the heads were withdrawn,
to be thrust out again the moment every
thing was quiet.
On leaving the nest, they would fly well
at once making more than hundred yards
at the first attempt. Their plumage at this
age was almost Identical with that of the
parents
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-06

wit dukes, and den where would you get
money for de gov'ment?
Princess says Mr.. Paul. Den de
gov'ment will make principarties. and sell
EN- de same old way. do not mind telling
you dat L has watched our course of late
at Washington wit pleasure, for 1t fits In
wit my plan like hand in a glove. What's
de matter of de Prince Of Panama, or
Colon? BY de time we can't sell any more
dukedoms we will have such a fine line Of
principalities dere will be a rush to avoid
being late. throughout de WIDE wide world
over de waters of de cart dere, on every
hand, will be seen de sign of dis country.
Patches of cocoanut land lorded over by
American princes and DER young and beau
tiful Processes. De sun shall never set on
de trains of our princesses. and de wide
open door of hospitality shall be de sign dat
on every volcano isle of de sunny Pacific
dere dwells an American princess as good
as any odder kind-or a gunboat will show
de reason why! At last, when even to be a
prince isn't good enough for de most high
spirited of our goils-Royalty, OATS right!
Are we to suppose dat our men or genius
are to be stopped at paltry hundred mil
lion for fortunes? No, SIR DE Napoleon or
finance will some day get his fist de
handle of de pump, and he'll never stop.
Will such a man be content wit a princes
title? Never Would we be content TO offer
him such q paltry expression of our es-
TEEN? Never! For him de coronation!
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-06
4 demand in de American market?"

a demand in de American market?'
Dat is whipsaw game" says Mr.. Paul.
much to de credit of de political como
mist who invented it. Dukedom is now to
be sold to de highest bidders in de Eng
lish market, but not for de benefit of de
gents wit a pull who have split up de rake
offs in de Carlton. Nay, nay! After dis de
treasury is to get de rake-off, and de taxes
will be cut in two"
How will de rest of de taxes be boil
ishedY asks Whiskers, getting keen on
de song and dance; for he is gaily-gaily
when anybody talks about taking off taxes.
"Dere comes in de American end of de
graft" Mr.. Paul tells him. when a new
duke has put UP de cash for his headgear,
den dis country will be told dat de highest
American bidder can have de new duke for
a husband When dis is in running order
dere will be no taxes at all, for de Amer
lean what has de price for a Duke won't
put it up in de dukes bank, but into de
English treasury, which will soon have
so much long green stored away dat it will
look like fresh cut hay
Den all de American COILS can be Ouch
esses?" says Miss Fannie. "Dat'n be nice"
"All whose daddies has de price," Mr.,
fits right in wit de sacred institutions of
protection, and is sure to make hit for de
fost party what spikes it into its plat
form. What's de matter wit American
dukes? A little ting like de constitution
needn't stand between frens in case like
mine. AS soon as have my plan copy
righted and patented, and a company
formed to water it, I'll sell 1T to de gov 'ment
for a million a mont, and den dere will be
no more taxes in dis country. neder. De
machinery for II is all ready, dat is de de-
partment of commerce. 1t is very simple
he says. ANY man what sells tree mill
ion iron woiks in Wall street for thoiIy
million; or puts up de price of beef or cot
ton or any old ting after he has all dere
is of de ting hoisted-hes IT.
Hold ont" says whiskers. 81 don't un-
derstand you-or is dis more of your nom
sense?"
Nonsense. SIR says Mr.. Paul do
look like man who'd dare TO talk nonsense
about anybody wort a hundred million?
l hope l know my duty better. When | say
dat such man is 1t. mean he is de man
to get de next American Dukedom. De
price will be all dat de traffic will bear
Dat is he will be assessed by de depart.
ment OF commerce all of his hundred million
except what he needs TO give bachelor
dinner 20 his frens before he is married..
Goodness gracious!' says Miss Fannie
Must dey all marry?'
Me dear" says Mr.. Paul. did you ever
hear of duke not marrying? He is uni:n-
proved property until he is married. You
might as we'll have building lot in Har-
lem wit noting on it except goats. as to
have duke for poiposes of revenue and
not marry him. Marry him? Indeed, mad
am. it is part of my plan to marry him
several tines
"All at once?" gasps Whiskers.
MO- says Mr.. Paul. But has not yet
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-06

,H@ SEE" says Mr.. Paul, dat a
t8I political economist has come to
k4 de FORE" he says, wit bote
I&N8I feet" he says, land has put it
to England, in de interest of low
taxes for TO create more Dukes
what for?" asks Whiskers, who is al
ways a bit shy when Mr.. Paul begins to
talk on political economy. What does
England want more Dukes for? Isn't de re-
cruits for de stage coming in fast enough? ''
1T is not for de stage alone, dat more
dukes is wanted on hurry call; but for
to supply de American Market. and dere-
by" he says, land dereoy supply de Doodle
needed for to run de English gov'ment"
What's de process for making duke?''
asks Miss Fannie. ''Who was made dukes
when de dukeries was running on full
timer"
Dat is not a question what can be
'cussed in polite society,"" Mr.. Paul says.
I'm de days of old English kings was a
good natured bunch of Johnnies, and be-
tween de times when dey wasn't getting
DER heads chopped off in de Tower or in
Whitehall street, dey amused deirselves
after a fashion dat is not mentioned desc
days except in de divOice courts. Den de
lady in de case she says, Your majesty,
she says, L want good name for to go
wit desc good close, and dis fine diamond
necklace, and dis tree-story hat she says.
"'Oh, very WELL, says his Majesty, how
would de name of de Duchess of Umtarara
do YOU? he says.
Like mice she says, and de King he
chases out de royal announcer and tells
him for to announce from de Battery to de
Bronx-or whatever is de same ting in
London-dat Miss Rel has been appointed
to be de Duchess of Umtarara, and her son
is titled to all de privileges of Office, and
a good salary. Dere is duke added to de
pay roll, and nobody's morals de woise, and
de society register de better"
81 don't tink dat was very nice way of
making a duke! says Miss Fannie.
"And it is all Pauls nOnsense!" says
Whiskers, who snuggles up to a duke him
self, more dan Mr.. Paul.
But later" goes on Mr.. Paul, not CIV
ing ear to Whiskers, de old way was
improved on. Dat was when England be-
gan to get wise on how to make money.
and forgot how to make war. Titles is now
made in de Carlton Club. But foist you
have to make your pile
ITO support de title?" asks Miss Fannie.
"To support de guy wit pull what fixes
1t for you to get de title,' says Mr.. Paul.
'If you has made your pile in tea, or beer.
or what not, you chases to de Carlton, and
Just looks willing. Dere is always a John
nie-on-de-spot who will do de rest
What I'd like to know" says Whiskers.
who was getting noivous, sis how de new
dukes what is to be made will fill de treas
ury of England, and at de same time fill
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-06

Copyright. Rob Rus Ell
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-06

Kansas City Journal
The real use for the Belgian hare. which
no one discovered at the height of it's fame,
has been found. Its meat can be, and is,
timed for turkey and pressed chicken,
while its fur is to be used for womens
garments.
Charles Rechner, of Kansas City, is re-
sponsible for this latter use. He has had
some dozen Belgian hare skins tanned, and
has found that they are very fine for gar
ment making. The color Is reddish brown
with white next to the skin. and garments
made of them, he asserts, are beautiful.
The skins that Mr.. Rechner now has he
says he will have made into a woman's
sacque, and this he will offer as a prize
for the best garment made of Belgian hare
fur at the ST. Louis exposition.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-06

ushers at de wedding. A little more must
be left him, to pay damages.
What damages?" asks Whiskers, get
ting next
DE damages his ushers in de crowd
of free American citizens and citizenesses
who try to ride in de happy brides lap to
de choich. But let US not be particular
about small details. De main ting is dat
de treasury sell him his dukedom for de
size of his pile
Now we come to foist marriage. Anod-
der lad has worked de pump. and flooded his
fellow citizens pockets IN neat and tasty
manner, which has drained off anodder hun
dred million. But dis lad has no son to buy
a dukedom for. He has only a daughter.
But is he to be left out of de nobility be-
cause heaven sent him only a COIL? No.
| sir. Perish de fought dat any plan of mine
would leave out of anything any man who
has hundred million! What's to be done,
you say?"
II didn't say" says Whiskers. de an
swer is easy: he doesn't get dukedom, but
he gets duke"
Sir" says Mr.. Paul, 81 can see dat you
has a head for political commonly which is
a wonder. OATS it: he gets de duke But
how? He pungles. Not onto de duke in de
present imperfect way. No, sir. He, too,
pungles to de U. S. Treasury. Between de
two of EN- we have a couple of hundred
millions. De gov-ment persons de happy
| duke and duchess a hundred tousand a year
or so, and spends de rest paying ship SUBJ
sides, and odder useful economies"
But my dear Paul' says Whiskers
Your plan will not do at all, for you have
not provided for de living expenses of de
ladders who dug up de goods"
Let EN- get out and dig up some more"
says Mr.. Paul, comfortably. Oats de
game dey likes, and when dey has made
anodder modest fortune dey can be re-
warded by getting invitations to de duke
and duchess second best receptions"
but, sir, 1 desire to show you dat am
no hasty and imperfect political economist
De wise man porvides for de rainy day.
| Dull times will come to de best regulated
| market. De sun of prosperity does not
| shine always even where de wheel of de
bond and stock printing press are heard in
de land. Patient trift long hours of woik,
hard toll, do not always reap harvest for
| dere comes time when de common is pre-
ferred over de preferred, and de foist de-
bentures is bent and broken Wealt is not
| always de reward of de industrious maker
| of gold bricks; and sometimes de weevil
| boil will steal In and rust even if de old man
is out watering de stock at four o'clock in
| de morning. -
''At such a time what shall we do?"
What 1 do says Whiskers, sis to put
| everything I has in de safe deposit vaults
| and go off to Europe, and stop dere until
| de market RECEIVERS"
True, sir, and l admire you for it-es-
pecialy when you invites me to accompany
you. But de gov'ment must keep on doing
| business at de same old stand all de time
| Dere is no use to make any more dukedoms.
| for dere is nobody to buy EN-. Not so wit
| de dukes. Dere is always a market for
EN-. When de last marriage was solemnized.
| let say, dere was of course lot of fad
| ders who could not bid high enough to get
| the new duke. In de hard time 1 have
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-06

got me American duke to his foist wedding
yet. Let us proceed in an orderly and
negligee manner, and show TO de void how
my plan for saving off all taxes has Henry
Georges beat to pulp"
"Foist we has de lad who, or whose papa
mo materials turned on de fawcet and
drained a hundred million out of de game.
Isn't such a man wort being duke in dis
or any old country? What? Well, radderl
Very well. we have him. He is made to
pungle all de water he has turned into gold
to de L. S. Treasury, leaving him enough
to get his pants pressed, and to pay de price
of blow-off to de boys who are to be de
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-06

Milwaukee Sentinel.

2huWduhtt Otullnel
Seated at his dinner table with his wife
daughter and grandson, William Foy,
resident of the South Side for forty years.
was Strangled to death by a small piece or
potato which became lodged in his wind
pipe. When she noted her fathers dis
tress, Elizabeth Foy attempted to dislodge
the obstruction by shaping him on the
back, and the grandson was sent for a
physician a half block distant. but before
DR.. Martin arrived the man was dead. Din
ner was not served at the Foy home, 35S
Florida street, yesterday afternoon until
3 o'clock. When Mr.. Foy appeared at the
table he in the best OF health and
talked jokingly with his grandson. He
had just taken mouthful OF potato when
q friend of his daughters entered the room
and he called out 10 her, Hello. Anna. -
He settled back in his chair Immediately
afterward and began to gasp. and his
daughter and her friend went to his as
sistance. They stood him upon his feet
and spoke 10 him. but he was unable to
answer. Sharp slaps on the back failed to
dislodge the piece OF potato and i'm two
minutes he fell over dead in his daughters
arms. When DR.. Robert Martin arrived the
man was past medical assistance and the
coroner was notified. The body was not
removed from the home.