West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-10-29
THE JERICHO ?. 0.
Pap Perkins, Postmaster, Tells Of .
Case Of Swearing.


they had been friends for years.
One day Deacon Goodhne borrowed the
others hoe to work in the garden and few
minutes later broke IL off at the shank.
While he eontended iha, il was old and
rusty and ready to break, he offered to buy
a new one to replace it. Much to his sur
prise he was allowed TO do so aud he went
home 10 say to his wife:
Martha, I've known Deacon Hardman for
80 years and have jus, found him out. He's
human hog and IL he ever goes to heaven
want 10 60 somewhere else
For two weeks after that the two deacons
nodded eoldly 10 each other whenever they
met and ii gradually became known to Jer-
icho that their relations were strained. Then
one morning Deacon Goodhue set out TO
dive five hogs over 10 the weighing scales.
lie had to pass the other deacon's house
and as he came along the gate was open and
all the hogs made rush for IL. lie was
trying 20 drive Them ou, of Deacon Hard
mans yard when the latter came ou, aud
said:
BY gum, Deacon Goodhue, but this is goin
too fur--;oo fur You opened that gate
and driv your hogs in on me purpose !
I never did aud you know didn't re-
,orted Deacon Goodhue as he paused in his
rUnning
Yes, you did
No. didn't
Don't you call me liar1
| Yes, If you call me one.
Take il back or I'll mop the ground with
youl
Come ont here and I'll make you see
stars
Then and there the deacons clinched and
rolled on the grass together, and they were
choking each other and breathing hard when
Moses Schermerhorn came along aud stopped
them. Deacon Iiardman went straight to
Justice Somerfield and swore ou, warrant
for assault and battery. and two days later
the trial came of and Jericho had sensa-
tion TO beat a landslide or a volcano.
| Both men had their friends and the public
was divided The only person who had
witnessed the fracas was Deacon IIafdman's 5
wife, hut there were other witnesses sworn
Old Mrs. Taylor sworc that she had
always suspected Deacon Goodhue to be a
man of violent temper and ,ha, he only
needed to be kicked TO become murderer
Moses Hunt was mile away that morning
looking for his COW but he swore that Dea.
con Hardman was the sort If man To lose
his temper and do awful things If he found
si.ange hog roofing up his holly hooks.
Abner Crossman, who had known both
parties for I3 years, swore that he had
known Deacon .Goodhue To fall off hay
stack, get mired in a swamp and fight bum.
blebees for half an hour without losing the
smile on his face, and he could not believe
that he had begun the fuss Opposed To
him was Tfuehart Johnson, who said he had
seen Deacon Hardman kicked head over
heels by a COW, run over by hog aud
knocked down by ram, and that he pre-.
served an humble spirit throughout and
even asked the COW to forgive him IL he had
hurt her feelings.
Mrs. ilardman's testimony was that she
was washing the dishes after breakfast when
she heard her husband give grunt and rush
from the house. She followed him 10 the
door and heard and saw all that subseqenily
passed, though in such a nervous state that
she could not bs sure Of anything She felt
almost sure that Deacon Coodhue said .sby
gum" and ''deyil" and sold crank" bn, she
wouldn't be positive Of H. She was almost
as positive that her husband started 20 sing
i hymn and made some scriptural quotation
but she might have been mistaken. She
was not sure who grabbed the other first
bnt she cculd swear on the living Bible thai
they had lrodden ali the cucumbers into the
the earth and broken down most Of her tige,
lilies. She ended by saying she had had
rheumatism for 40 yeais and that whenever
she returned cup Of borrowed sugar sh,
always heaped the measure up.
II took two days to try the case and mean
while ell business including the sawmiIl
was suspended. There was no Jury anc
when almost everybody IN town had swou
on one side OF the other. Justice Somer6eid
pat on his most dignifed look aud said
This case seems to 60 back to the hoe ant
to Deacon Goodhue's garden. Was lher,
any need Of The deacon working in his gar
den that day2 What had become Of hii
own hoe2 Was the borrowed hoe rusty ~
the shank or was il noir n Descon Good
hue had not bit stone with IL would IL hav,
btoken5 lie offered to buy new hoe 1,
replace The old one but wasn't he hopin,
that Deacon fIafdman would refuse IA
Deaeon fiardman had bad that hoe for !,
years and was he glad that 1t was broker
and that he had chance 10 ge, a new on,
N It's place
Then there vas the hogs Any man VIII.
had ever set out TO drive one hog elong IN,
road to say nothing about five. knew tha
the animal wooldn't 60 siraigh, for a rod a
a time. lie couldn'i spy a hole in the fencl
without wanting 70 see II II was a ~. III
wouldn'i be hog 70 pass an open gate with
out making = rush for the opening.
Then The deacons confronted each other
They we're feeling edkcwise about The hol
and IL was to be inferred that IL didn't TAX,
much TO get their backs up As to whethe
the lie was actually given and who gave
FIRST is matter ~ doubt. The same Is iru
ss to who grabbed FIRST but there can be NJ
possible doubt that many cUcumbers an.
tiger lilies we're destroyed and that Deacoi
uafdman emerged from the conflict with
, skinned nose Taken full and by The tacl
and forth Il was about an even thing. Tn
costs will be divided between them, busines
resumed al ? o'clock tomorrow morning an,
n either has any hard cider IN the cellar n
will be expected 10 treat the other and bot
make up and lei hoes and hogs 20 10 gras
forever more.