The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-01-03

The secretary of the Jibes and Jiblets
club sent a circular letter to all the
members today asking for reports of the
members in regard to their carrying out
the resolves they made for the New
Year. The replies are as follows:
Billy Woods: resolved to swear off
hiring hacks to haul fairies to and fro
between dances and their homes
shattered that resolution into a million
fra gmentS. I went to a dance New
Years eve with that Clay street fairy,
who lives out near the Shunganunga. I
told her of the resolution but at } o CLOCK
in the morning, which by the way was
IN the year 1868. A. D. when SAID 10
home with US" she began talking about
tired tootsie wootsies. tight shoes, long
walk, not be able to get up early enough
to enjoy the New Years callers. some
thing about short horses and plenty of
hacks and had cold feet right there
and ordered a rubber tired ambulance
to take us 81 worth into the country.
will wait till next year to cult hacks.
That toOtsie wootsie business was too
strong for me.
Uriah Heston: I pledged my sacred
word not to let barber tweak my nose
or knead my face like bakers dough.
broke that pledge New Years morning
when the barber I went to made 4
clothes wringer out of his fingers ran
my nose through it, thumDed my face,
slapped me with a sopping dish rag
towel, blew his onion and real rye bour-
bon whisky breath in my face. He was
bigger than Fat" Clarke. the football
player. He had a whisky breath and
sharp razor and instead of getting up
and Dhipping hiIa I let him do just
anything he wanted TO.
Hank Withers: I swore off playing
the great American game of draw poker
for stakes higher than a penny ante and
q ten cent limit. I sat in small game
11:50 o'clock Wednesday night I held
two kings and stayed in. I drew two
more kings and a queen. kept bet
ting and after the y o'clock whistle
blew at midnight and the New Year was
ushered in 1 was still raising everything
that came my way I raised until my
money, my watch and my next months
salary was in I had broken the rasO-
luton but 1 thought it was in a good
cause until the man in front of me laid
down four aces This thing of COM
mencing a game in one year and sitting
in until the next year is bad business.
''Parson" Palmer: I agree not to read
late at night. I got hold Of Ezra Ken
dalIs GOOD Gravy" at 10 o'clock New
Years eve and I 'read it until 3 o'clock
Thursday morning. This Is a good ad
for the gravy.
Ananias Fisher: 7 said I would cat
out the pie habit. I have not. I can't.
New Years eve 1 took a train for the
country to spend New Years day. When
/ L
was a pitcher of milk and a half a pie
for my lunch. At breakfast they had
pie, for New Years dinner they had pie,
for supper they had pie and for lunch
that night [ was given pie. The people
came from the state of Eugene
Ware. Connecticut, the center of the
great American pie belt
Julius Cadwallader: 7 said I would
not go out between acts at the theater
to get a drink. have set that resolu-
ton aside. I went to the play New
Years night and between acts went out
to hunt up one of the usual small edt-
ton of programmes When came
back the woman who sat in front of me
made a remark about the whisky on
my breath. There wasn't any on it, but
she thought there ought to be so after
the next act went out and got a drink
Jason Snodgrass: I foreswore the slot
machines and I too broke my good re-
solve. I won box Of cigars for IL
cents New Years eve and the next day
thought my luck was still good and
thought I would try Just for once. I
put in % cents and won another box. I
mustn't quit I would be wronging my
good luck not to use it.
Simon PettigreW- [ sWOFe off sr1Ok-
ing but I will have to rescind that reso-
luton. A friend of mine in Mexico
sent me 5000 good cigars in a crate
packed with wool on the outside Of the
cigars. 1t didn't get here till New Years
day. The cigars are too good for sub
stitutes for moth balls. 1 must smoke
Nothing has been said in this column
about pretty school marms. Joe Waters
had a copyright in Kansas on that line
of hot air. ssA
It was announced by wire that
squad of trumpeters sounded a fanfare
New Years at the White House recep~
ton to announce the coming of the
president. If any thing like that Is
sounded at the st. Louis exposition the
ministers would make a more bitter
fight against it than they did the
hoochie coochie. 1t may be all right but
it sounds wrong.
Several teachers from the Reform
school testified in the Lowe murder
trial. From the language they used it
sNSnes that the boys when they get out
Of the school may know more about
making harness than they viii about
grammar
Frank Drinkwater lives at Fort Scott
He should come to Topeka and join
Mrs. Nations forces.
If the people could only possess the
voice of an auctioneer system Of
speaking tubes over Topeka might be
better than the Bell phones.
The University Of Michigan sends out
the following startling news: A col
lection of about four hundred and fifty
different kinds of woods found in North
America is now being arranged in the
p1useun of the department of forestry
Of the University of Michigan" The
u. of NJ. seems to do few other things
than football. Win be a wonderful col
| lection! About as wonderful as the pic
lures made out of corn. or sorghum
BULLET PROOF.
Pistol Ball Fired at Short Range