The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-03-15
Mr.. DOOLEY.
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L
| iookin' upon tn currant wine whia il
was red within tn cup come out iv tn
White House with their hands on theil
stomach. TIL first lady iv tn land
cut tn hair iv tn first chileher iv tn
land with her own fair hands an tn
first gintleman iv tn lana was often
to be seen wurrukin' tn wringer on
Mondahs. They wasn't man hoviver
humble that whit to tn White House
an didn't feel at nome OF worse. They
was a corjal welcome FIR wan an all
in that hospitable mansion. But whin
Tiddy Rosenfelt came in he changed
ell that. TIL first thing ne done was
to make over tn White House. Up to
this time tn White House was a place
where amy gintleman cud live but
wuddent If there was hotel handy.
But it wasn't good enough f'r this jcod.
He changed it around, this mansion
full iv tn best Traditions iv our gov
ermint an ivry other kind iv thradi-
lions, this sacred OF hen-coop where
a cinchry iv statesmen had come an
gone-he changed it around to suit tn
i6ees of ARCHITECTURE in New York.
He put tn coal cellar on tn roof, tn
kitchen in the threasury department
an arranged it so tn guests enthered
through tn laundry an proceeded up
through tn ash chute to a Pint where
they was picked up be an autymatic
distributor and disthributed-th' leg
in tn east room, tn arms in tn
west room, an so on. Before he whit
at il the White House looked like a
handsome calcimined paekin' case with
windows cut in FIR gin'ral Miles to lave
by. Afther this jood prisidint got
through with it it looked rs though tn
packin case had taken Tiddy's advice
an raised large family iv soap boxes,
palace he lives like king an onaisy
lies tn head that wears a crown.
But that amt the worst iv it. Whin
ne got to Washnton he found that
this country had become a wurruld
power. TIL difference between wur-
ruld power an ordhinry lack yard
power is that it costs money to be a
Wurruld power. If ye'er JUS a power
yez can take ye'er meals in ye'er shirt
sleeves, but if ye'er a wurruld power
We have to take ye'er bath in swal-
low-tail coat The prisidint iv tn
United States cud lCck tn dure at swim
o'clock, pull off his coat, sind wan iv
tn childher FIR his slippers an go TO +,
sleep in front iv tn fire with tn avnin' |
PAPER over his head. Not 50 tn prisi- |
dint " a wurruld power. He spinds !
tn day appintin' eighth-class fourth |
class postmasthers, shakin' hands with !
naygurs, annihilatin' tn thrnsts again ,
an again, settlin' affairs in Vinzwala,
Bolgahrya an China. AT
swim o'clock he goes to th dure with
Epaminondas Cuff (colored) an thin
,urries TO his room where he hurls /
himself into tn new uniform iv tn /
,risidint iv tn United States, dhress
.uit. He has hardly time 10 get tn
;oap out iv his ears whin til dure bell
'ings an he runs down tn stairs to
ayceive tn ambassadure fr NJ Cochin
Jhiny. Dye know what wud happen
I he wasn't ON tn dure mat ready to
axe the ambassadure firm Cochin
,hiny be tn ear with wan hand an
ub tn top iv his head with tn other,
rhich is tn officyal form of salutation
n Cochin Chiny. Ye don't? Well. I'll
ell We. 1t wud name war, Hinnissy.
irogan, who was a good deal in Wash
1ion IN Finerty's days, tells me that
his country was wanst on tn very
erge iv war with Pattygonya because
Irover Cleveland butted tn ambassa- |
ure firm Pattygonya in tn stomach,
listakfn him f'r tn ambassadure firm
As it is ther ARE
winty-four trained assistant sicrities $
' state, disguised as waithers to tip