davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
DIDN'T PAY FoR "yoANNlE."
Troublesome Experience Of Kansas
City (kan.) Conductor,

Troublesome Experience Of a Kansas
City (kan.) Conductor.
Conductor No. 944, on the Chelsea
Park car line. had a peculiar expert
ence yesterday morning in regard to a
fare for child. A woman with a
small boy boarded the car at Seventh
street and Stewart avenue. She gave
the conductor dime and he immedi-
ately rang up two fares.
"I've got a nickel coming; I don't
pay for Johnnie" said the woman.
"How old is the boy, LADY," asked
the conductor. III he is under five
years of age shall give you back his
fare, but otherwise must keep it."
But the woman refused to tell the
boys age, which the conductor says
must have been fully seven years, and
the conductor refused to return the
fare. However, she asked the conduc-
tor for a pencil, and asking for the
number on his badge, made a note in
her memorandum book.
"You may hear from me again." she
remarked, when she was about to
transfer at Minnesota avenue. John
ME will be five years old next month"
.-kansAsaC City journal. F7e -tsssefsss
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
! Hss NJ round ~

Polk, Ariz., Nov. "a remedy that
will absolutely cure Rheumatism has
been discovered by Mr.. George Hiland
of this place. Mr.. Hiland is satisfied
that the remedy he has used is a sure
cure, for it cured him of very seri-
GUS case of Acute Rheumatism when
he was so bad that he could not move.
This is what he says:
II was troubled with what is called
Acute Rheumatism In 1900. was in
such shape that could not move with
out help. was treated by physician,
who helped me some, but was still in
great pain, when my wife saw Dodds
Kidney Pills advertised as cure for
Rheumatism. She insisted on my try
Ing them, and felt better after taking
the first box. continued and now
am we'll and able to work all the time.
[ have found Dodd's Kidney Pills to be
Just what they are claimed to be,
perfect cure for rheumatism"
Mr.. Hiland's very positive statement
seems to settle all doubt as to whether
or not Rheumatism can be cured.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
Upper Floor Plan.
Feed Roots After Milking.

SSS bsSOeS SNskCIFt "tINJNQs
A hint to dairymcn who feed roots
to their cows, as many do at this sea.
son and later, is afforded by a reader
of Jersey Bulletin: ut is best not to
feed your cows too many beets, man.
gels, rutabagas and potatoes, as they
give the butter a bitter flavor. At this
time Of year the garden furnishes a
lot of extra roots good for feeding
cows. while the farm supplies rejected
small potatoes, apples, and sometimes
immature cabbage heads and rejected
leaves. all OF which is excellent COW
food. But 1t must be fed with proper
caution, which is always after feeding
the regular ration and the milking flp-
'tshed, and in small lots at q time.
While It IS true that q change Of
feed, rich or poor. doec not affect the
relative quantity Of butter fat In the
mill, all strongly favored foods dc
add g decided favor to the milk that
no subsequent manipulation Of the
milk can entirely eradicate. When
the above articles are fed IN too great
abundance, no amount OF cooling, pas
teurization or other system of doctor
ing can hide or: remove these flayors
except by allowing the butter ia BE.
come rank enough 70 smother them.
And that - getting ont Of the frying
pan into the dra s Us ! a
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
Ground Plan Of House.

accompanying plans Of ground and
upper floor are probably as conven-
lent as any that could be suggested.
This house is "a feet by Is feet. and
10 feet high to the roof, and It had no
cellar. This, of course, could he
added. If desired. at a small increase
of cost. It would be we'll to construct
veranda along the front, and this
should be not less than five feet wide.
The front hall allows ample room for
q hat rack, and q clothes closet may
be built beneath tho stairs. Should a
cellar be required the closet could be
doneaway with, making room for the
cellar stairs. It would be well to have
sliding doors between the dining room
and sitting room. The kitchen, it will
be noticed, is the largest room on the
lower floor, and can be used for din.
Ing room in the wi-ter season if de.
sired. The height or the ceiling down
stairs is nine feet, and of the upstairs
eight and one-half feet.
The upper story is divided into
three good-sized chambers. each open.
ing into the hall. There is also a
small front room, which may be used
as sewing room Or study as desired.
The cost of such house as is sug.
gested depends much upon the interior
finish. The following hill of material
Is based on current prices:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
Told t. Face 4hs Farce soiemn,y.

Told 70 Facs the Farce soisnniy.
Representative Boutell Of Illinois,
ono OF tho bright men who represents
= Chicago district. was recently In the
city and was asked II he intended re-
naming until congress met.
NO." he replied, II have q number
OF things to look after at home; be-
sides, have to deliver number Of
orattons-I believe that is what they
are called. Regarding one Of these oc-
casions. had letter from friend
who was one Of the managers Of the
AFFAIR, which said: Harry, this is a
,d-n farce. but you can't be too SOL
emn about IT,"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
catarrh Cannot he Cured

With LOCAL APPLICATIONS, a. they cannot reach
tne seat Of the disease. Catarrh 10 blood or consti.
sutonai disease and 10 order cure you must take
internal remedies. Halls Cstarrh Cure 10 taken In.
tslnaly, and acts directly on the blood and mucous
.snfisces HAIRS Catarrh euro 10 not . quack med.
clne was prescribed by OF the best physcfans
r. this country for years and Is Irregular prescription
;, LII composed OF the best tonic: known, combined
mucous surfaces. The perfect combination OF the
Two Ingredients 70 Whist produces such wonderful
fesus In curing Catarrh Send Cor testimonials Free
Ed. CHENEY 4 CO., Props, Toledo, o.
Sold by druggists, price 75c, -
Nails Family Pills are the best.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
American Tactics Excel.

English military experts have decid-
ed that American army tactics, involv.
Ing the principle of skirmishing rather
than that Of mass formation, Is the
most effective in the world. This de-
cision Is probably the only asset of the
South African war to which the Brit.
ish generals can point with pride. It
could only be reached by the sacrifice
OF thousands upon thousands of brave
British lives.-San Francisco Call.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
PATENTS.

List OF Patents issued Last Week TO
Northwestern Inventors.
Owen Casey, Nashua, MINI. wagon;
Alfred Lum, st. Paul. Mimi, safety
guard for razors; Hiram Maurer. Biz
ford. N. p. rivet; George Ripley. Du,
1Mfdn., venufng mdcn1ne: FRANK
Schulz, Pratt. Mimi, draft evener; Err
nest Watson, Brainerd, Mimi, locomo-
tive engineers alarm; Charles Wheel
er. Minneapolis, Mimi, means for Sc.
curing casters to furniture.
Lothrop s johnson. patent lawyers. Oil
and S12 Pioneer Press Bldg. st. Paul.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
A Case Of Easy Picking.

A Case OF Easy Picking.
You know that man Hyperion, who
claims to read character at glance?"
Eyes"
We'll, he swindled me out of 5000"
Indeed? didn't suppose he ever
put his boosted talent to any practical
use. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
HorrId Man.

Shelf every atom in the human
body is renewed every seven years, I
cannot be the same woman that yo,,
married.
& He--Ive been suspecting that for
some time.-Pearson's Weekly.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
The Audience Worse.

Ha-a-a! ! am mad, mad!" ranted
Hamphat, the tragedian, in the dun
geon scene. }5 81
HUH" snorted the man In the gal
lery, you amt near as mad as us fell
lers that paid to get in. |" Philadelphia
Press. 7l -.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
No Kick Comma.

Mr.. Roxe-This portrait doesn't look
like my wife at ALL
Artist know it doesn't, but it
looks as she thinks she looks. Judge.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20

MONEY TO LOAN anywhere in the U. 8.
When writing, state amount wanted.
National Security Co.. Minneapolis. MINI.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20

EHTH permanently nus or nervoumees ans
nrst days use Of DR.. Klne's Great Nerve Restor.
e Send Tor FREE o.. 90 trfarbottle and treatiec.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
HOUSE TO COST 5000
six ROOMS AND ~ HAL in rtsl
/ aI STRUCTURE.
For Small Family Such Building Il
the Most Practical That Could 81
Dsvised-The Costs Ia Detail. IN

o. P.Will you kindly publish plans
Of 9 small dwelling house containing
six rooms and Q hall I shall build the
house myself and would like to have
the Job completed for about six hun.
dred dollars outlay. 4
Ans.-While there are many styles
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20

Want of punctuality is want OF
virtue. M. Mason. 65
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20

Fruit acids will not stain goods
dyed with PUTNAM FADELESS
DYES.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20

Mr.. Jacob Fleig writes from a. Sumuer
avenue. Brooklyn. N. Y:
liam now 2 new man at the age Of
seventy.nve years, thanks to your
wonderful remedy PenuRa. Jacob
Eieig.
Catarrhal inflammation Of the mucous
lining of the kidneys. also called ''Bright's
disease" may be either acute or chronic
The acute form produces symptoms of such
prominence that the serious natuse of the
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20

At the Bachelors Club.
Millions wife left him, didn't she?'
That's the story"
did he write anything after that
event?"
"oh, yes: Paradise Regained.'
Atlanta Constitution.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20

o who
Wholesale
sne following 1888
Peruna Medicine Co, Columbus Ohio.
denfiemenZsst caught which seemed ia SET
tie Ia kidneys and affected them badly couple Of KID
1ey remedies largely advertised but they help any One
O. fod me Of che great help he received using
at indeed blessing on nv feet arpe na q,
the and trouble me serous but
Doles or runa cured entirely and would for
fhree'months saksGy."-JOhN I. SHEAkAM
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20

disease is at once suspected. but the chronic
variety may come on so gradually and in
sidlousiy that its presence is not suspected
until after it has fastened itself thoroughly
upon its victim.
At the appearance of the first symptom
Peruna should be taken. This remedy
strikes at once at the very root of the dis.
ease.
A book on eatarrh sent free by Tho
Per1na Medicine Co., Columbus. @.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20

there Is anything in would like
aovlce write
YOU TOE no person IN America
gretng female Ills Address advice
and always helpful. ' 80 ~ So
ssamis
OOSVV cd Co. Lynu,aa
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-20
An Indiana Lady Tells Of a Wonderful Cure,-

"DEAR MRS. P1NKHAM: It is . pleasure
for me to write and tell what your wonderful
medicine has done for me. was sick for
three years with change Of life, and my
1.-The. womb. During these three years
suffered untold agony.
I cannot dnd words In which 60 ex.
press my bad feelings. did not expect to
ever see another we'll day. read some Of tho
testimonials recommending your medicine and
decided to write to you and give your treat.
ment q trial.
"Before I had taken half q bottle Of
Lydia -. Pinkham's Vegetable Com.
pound, began to sleep. have taken now
six bottles and am so well can do all kinds
Of work. Mis-. LIZZIE HMKLr, Salem, Ind.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-06-05
JUDGE HOKE.
More Specimens Of Sandy Bend
Justice.

Justice.
This court now bein' open for bust
ness, said Judge Hoke. as he raped
for order and mOtiOned for The cOnsta-
bic to run two Cinnamon out of doors.
1t is my painful coOty TO announce
that I hev bin thrown down and trodden
into the airth. The Supreme Court OF
with my way of servin' out jestice. and
il a state Of anarchy reigns in this dis
trict for the next year, / can't be held
to blame for it.
Some four weeks since. Jim War
saw. who never saw no war. and whose
reputation fur stacl1in' a poker deck
is known to all, comes to me cryin' out
fer jestice. With tears in his eyes he
told me that Hop Lee, the Chinyman,
had knocked him senseless with club
and then robbed him.
II put it to him straight and he new
err winked an eye. Ii was my dooty 10
issue q warrant and cause the arrest
of Hop-Lee, and the same was done. 1t
was when L questioned Hop that the
truth began to bulge up like wind in a
bladder.
What was the facts in the case2
Jim Warsaw had scraped 81 togeth-
er and gone up TO the Wash-hOuse TO
play poker. He had four aces in the
meant to skin that heather alive. He
sOt down to do 1t. and he did his level
best, but Hop-Lee wiped up the airlh
with his remains. In other words Jim
Warsaw was down to his boots when
he left that wash house, and the only
way he could get revenge was to come
to me and holler fur iestice.
When I found out how the case stood
I discharged Hop from custody and
sent Jim to Jail fur q year fur tryin' to
play horse with the majesty of the law.
He hired a shyster lawyer to appeal
his case, and notice has come to me
that my decision has been reversed.
Tn other words, the supreme court,
which don't know Jim Warsaw from a
handsaw; which wasn't here on the
ground to know how he meant to use
those six aces; which don't know that
he can look a Teller plumb in the eyes
and lie like a spring freshet has or
dered that I give him new trial and
take into account the fact that he has
never killed anybody in the past
That's the order, but this court amt
goin to knuckle to it. This court was
elected by the people to dispense jes-
tice, and is goin' to do SO if the heavens
fall 1t is satisfied that Jim Warsaw
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-06-05

mand, but he must know what his mas
ter wishes him to Go. That is the great
secret of success with horses Few are
able to communicate to, the dumb brutes
but only such can be trainers The
thoroughbreds are usually the most in
telligent and consequently the most
proud spirited, but the results fl o.n
them are spondiRgly greater
mo horse is by nature bad oIsvicious,
but is made so by cruel or impatient
men. But vicious horses can be reform
ed just as can evil persons, and do you
know. I think that persons. like other
animals, are made and not born vicious.
Some horses are lunatics. and are no
insane human beings. A man who can
deal with men can deal with the brute
creation. for the natu-~5 of all are the
same in quality. but in lower animals
the quantity Of intelligence varies. No
wonder a horse acts badly when a fool
of man is trying to manage him.
Mr. Wallick cited a number Of Incl
dents of horses when he had reformed,
trained or taught for he refused to
make use of the term broke in that
connection and as a special illustra ton
concluded: II once attended circus and
saw a trained horse perform. Show
how you do when you are sleepy said
the trainer, and the horse opened his
mouth and CAPPED. The man aceompa-
MED this by sticking the whip into the
horses mouth, which would make any
one pretend to gape / taught q horse
the same trick by simply showing wha
/ wanted. 1t took me Is minutes. I got
his attention opened my mouth. ADD
then fed the horse sugar when ne IOl-
lowed my example. "
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-06-05
INTELLIGENCE OF HORSES
Known Trainer Makes Some In
terestng Observations

.Tanes I'd WaIlick. of 37Bandit7 and
Cattle King fame. says: I can pick
an intelligent horse. Every. horse has a
character, and you can size him up as
easily as you can determine the charac-
ter Of a person. When the horses dis
position is known, then the question Of
how to deal with him is simple. The
horse has but one idea at a time in his
head and should be treated accordingly
He should never be whipped for fright,
but a new idea should be given him to
attract his attention. Talking TO him
viii often do that.
BE gentle with a horse. but let him
know that you are the master. This
rule is a universal one. The successful
business man controls his employees by
that method. If the horse has confidence
in his master he win obey his COM
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-06-05

zone duo now" was the conductors
reply.
sFlag er then. said Dir. Jebson.
Mrs. 5obson didn't say anything.
They boarded the car returning 10 the
city and got home about half-past 8.
Mr. Jobson hadnt said a word on the
in trip, but when they got into the ves-
tibule ne turned the countenahce Of a
sotely wounded man on Mrs. Jobson
and remarked
There's nothing to be said. All
you've got to- do is 10 see that some
bacon and eggs and a cur. Of coffee are
dished up for me some time within the
next quarter OF an hour. It's outrag-
eous TO ask you to go to all this trouble
for me. 1 know, but I can't help it,
you being the only wife. or imitation
of a wife, that I have at present But
the next time that you rope me out
Of warm, comfortable bed to engage
in a wild goose chase Of this character,
just because you're too tired to see
that a little breakfast is served to your
husband at his home. you've got to use
several powerful injections Of cocaine
on me. and don't you let that fact slip
out Of your memory, either.'-N ash
fnptOn Star
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-06-05

IS a lar and that he put up a job on
Hop-Lee. who ain't to blame that he
was born with squint eyes and IN for
eign land
what this court viii do is TO turn
Jim loose, and the SAME is done right
here and now AS fur the new trial
he won't git ii. And bevin bin turned
loose. this court wishes to say TO him,
both as a court and the owner Of the
Red Dog saloon. that if he amt out OF
meet up with sunthin' wuss nor a
stacked. hand,
And there's another case on the
docket. As an individual, I amt claim
ia, 10 be no better and no worse tnan the
average. AS a court, while must be
respected and looked up to, I don
want to shelter myself behind the law
The other night Bill Henderson
come into the Red Dog saloon ana
threw out hints that I was driven out
of Montana for crimes again the law,
and that a sartin sheriff over IN New
Mexico would be glad to locate me. !
hadn't orter paid any attention to his
buzzin' but he kept it up so long that
1 lost my temper and mopped up the
floor with him. I hev it from dozen
men that I was in the right, but l don
want no more leeWay than announcer
1 man. 1t was a case OF assault and bat
4 terry. I hev issued a warrant fur my
self. come into court. and / now plead
guilty. and fine myself nVe dollars
There's one more case on the docket
It's between Lung Sing and Lee Long,
/ the two Cinnamon with a claim on
( Black Hoss Hill. AS nigh as kin make
out each one has bin watchin' for a
chance for the last month to steal the
partnership funds from the other. Both
of them got arter the bag of dust at tbs
J same time the other night, and a nsn'
! was the consequence
'.Both come to me fur jestice, anc
4 both are. here in court It's anseasy case
I 20 dispose of. One is as badsas the otl-
! err. and I don't believe eithersone.s IT 5
J heather vs.. heather. and I fine each OF
I EN- five dollars and advise EN- to &c
out of partnership and work separate
claims. I've nuthin' agin a Chinyman
and the law is as much fur him as fun
/ the white man. but I want him TO know
that he can't use it to brush flies of MS
j tent.
I 1T is perhaps needless to add thai
this afternoon crowd IS comm oVsl
from Hunters Gulch for horse race
and that ! own the horse that is to ruf
again the Gulch animal As Court
I'm lookin' fur a fair race and the pes'
horse to win. AS an individual II
! expectin' all of you to bet your spon'
dulles on my nag and encourage me te
newer and higher ambitions
This court now stands ADJOURNED
and may Jestice hover over and put'
tect as ali till we hev another case OF
/ trial
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-06-05
HUMOR OLE TIE DAY.

Observation-Disclosures little hope for this
world Of ours. 50 long as it is ruled by the
s Fossett&By the way. szribbler. wonder
what kind of a world it would be if the
management of our railroads, steamships
mines. etc. were entrusted entirely to The
literary class Boston Transcript
what do YOU think of that mans
speeches." said one statesman
We'll answered the other. his con-
illusions are not very novel But / must
facts. w ashington Star
rThe Instruments have ceased working.
What appears to be the matter2'
The Impression is that the newly or
Some dense clouds across cur right of-xvay,
sir."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Beyond certain size. a house ceases to
be a home and becomes servants iodg-
ings-Pucl--
John. said the boss in his harshest
tone. u understand you spent your after
asked permission 10 absent Yourself you
said something about funeral
yes. sir; that's what 1t was for our
club. sir.''-cleveland Plain Dealer.
If Diogenes had waited a few years he
might have had a porcelain bathtqn and
1 and a I'VE year guarantee. Baltimore
Happier than some Of the Wall Street
! lambs, isn't her
why shouldn't he be2 He isn't loaded
up with undigested securities. PUCK.
See here. Mr.. .oays said the boardine
house mistress, you're getting reputa-
ton for being fast.
That's none Of your business.
mo, but it's my business TO see that Vol
I shan't be fast enough TO beat your board
! bill. Philadelphia Press
Il wonder how it is that men succeed
who mind only their own business
because there is so little competition
Life.
Doctor Ito Mrs. Perkins. whose husband
lis nr-Has he had any lucid interVals2
Mrs. Perkins with dignity1-.lss ad no
think except what you ordered, Doctor
Punch
Mr. Marlzley' stammered the girl
lover. "Edith-er-that u, your daugAte
told me you wanted to see me.
yes, 50 she told me, replied the girl
father.-Ph 1adelphia Press