Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1903-02-05
FAR AND NEAR.

Washington Post: Admiral Dewey
believes that the American navy was
never so ably prepared for war as at
the present. This being the case,
there is no reason why we should not
have peace.
New York Press: What a pity it is
that our learned anthropologists never
discover that man has criminal
eyes, mouth, ears and nose until after
he has committed murder! Oh.
Science! how many frauds are perpe-
trated in thy helpless name!
Buffalo Express: A Pittsburg man
has died of blood poisoning from fro
zen feet. Another warning against
poker.
Minneapolis Times: An ingenious
Minneapolitan managed to get a five
cent rebate on marriage license the
other day. 1t seems that matrimony is
not only a lottery, but now and then
bargain sale.
Minneapolis Times: A rich Indiana
widower has taken unto himself
bride on a business basis. There is a
nuptial contract STIMULATING that the
wife shall have none of the estate
when the husband dies, but shall re-
ceive $4,000 a year as long as she is a
faithful wife and keeps him alive. BY
carrying good big policy on the old
gentleman's life, the lady ought to
be able to make the venture a paying
one, whatever happens.
-
Syracuse Herald: A hen, sold at
public auction in Kansas City recent
ly, brought SOL. And she cannot lay
more than one egg a day, either.
Topeka Journal: Some Chase coun-
ty girls wrote their names and ad-
dresses on eggs, but they got only
seven miles from home and into the
pantry of married man.
Mexican Herald: If Bre'r Bryan
had to live on tortillas and frijoles he
would find that the silver standard
was not wholly satisfactory. 1t is
quite another thing to be a tourist en-
joying all the delicacies of the season
and the triumphs of chef
New York Commercial: There is an
ideal condition of affairs existing in
Texas-every member of the legisla-
ture belongs to the dominant (demo-
cratic) party. And all they have to
is say, "Aye!"
Washington Post: Dick Croker is
coming home on private business. .
But, then, everybody knows what
Cookers private business" is.
Philadelphia Press: Apostle Smoot
is acting up to the senatorship al
ready. He refuses to be interview
ed.
Louisville Courier-Journal: Senator
Morgan is apparently Of the opinion
that before We ratify treaty with the
Colombian government we must nrst
catch Colombian government
Washington Post: Mr.. Quay contin-
ues to give the public the impression
that he has the goods to deliver.
Chicago Chronicles: The German
ships of war in venezuelan waters
must have taken lessons in marks
manship from the Spaniards.
Omaha Bee: With all these legisla-
lures grinding, it is up to some one to
project a legislative merger.
St-Louis Globe-Democrat The kali
ser's policy is eminently calculated to
increase the navy-of the United
States.
Philadelphia Press: If the Hon.
George Fred Williams will just keep
right on making new parties he may
yet get one that he can belong to,
though we have misgivings.
Lincoln Journal: There are worse
things than government by injunction,
and government by the democratic
party is one of them.
Denver News A bill has been intro
duced in the South Dakota legislature
making football playing crime. 1t
will not hold water. Dementia cannot
be made criminal
TRIBUTES TO THE LATE CON.
GRESSMAN pIIMp,