davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-17
Burglary.

I. M. Gilmore's store was
burglarized last night. The
burglars gained an entrance in
to Spaniol's barber shop, :,nd
then cut out a panel of the door
leading into The store. After
gaining an entrance to the
store the burglars helped then :
selves to a couple of boxes OF
cigars and a few other things.
160 acre farm for rent. En-
quire at the Times office.
wdc17.
Fred Fensler entertained in
formally Saturday evening at
his home on Fourth street.
Seven couples enjoyed his hos
pitality. The evening was
spent in playing Pitt and other
amusements. Refreshments
were served at about ten
thirty.
DR.. Colt was called to WooG-
bine today on professional bus
mess.
M. Flynn, the artistic butcher
of Modale, was in the Valley on
business today.
Jim Bracken returns to Raw
Inns tomorrow morning after a
months visit with relatives in
this county. His family will
remain here for several DAYS
yet.
Shooting SCrape.
There was a shooting at
River Sioux last night. Be
fore the fusilade was over it
was found that Cook Lewis had
been shot over the right eye
and badly wounded. The man
who did the shooting escaped
and has not yet been arrested.
Mrs. DR.. Hargens returns to
her home in Hot Springs, S. D.,
tomorrow, after several days
visit in this city, the guest of
Mrs. H. Hargens.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-17
A Costly Mistake.

Blunders are sometimes very
expensive. Occasionally life
itself is the price of a mistake,
but you'll never be wrong if
you take DR.. Kings New Life
Pills for dyspepsia, dizziness,
headache, liver or bowel
troubles. They are gentle yet
thorough. 25c, at Elliott &
Harveys Drug Store. dc3l
Yeeman Elect Officers.
Missouri Valley Homestead
1923 Brotherhood of American
Woman Saturday evening in
itiated three new members and
elected officers for the ensuing
year as follows:
Foreman, F. o. Schmitt,
Cor, V. l. Tamisiea,
M. A., J. j. Wisecup,
M. c., Samantha Cox,
Physician, Luella Coffman.
Installation will be held the
first meeting in January.
Mrs. Pearle Osborne of Coun-
Gil Bluffs is the guest of her
mother, Mrs. c. Varnes, for a
few days.
John A. Berry wants to buy
Fifty Thousand acres OF Har
rison county land. wit
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-17


Among the more notable ara
cles of the issue may BE- mon
tione ! those ON amor plate ard
gun steel, structural shapes
tube making, chain MAXI q,
steel and wire making. and raj
making. The number is dressed
in a handsome colored cover,
CERTAIN RESULTS.
Many a M!sscarl val'ey Citizen
Kn,ws Eisw SIRE They Are.
Not ling uncertain about TIL
work of Doan's Kidney Pills in
Missouri Valley. There is
plenty of positive proof of this
in the testimony of citizensi
Such evidence should convince
the most skeptical doubter.
Read the following statement:
w. A. Donahue, painter and
paper hanger of 818 Michigan
street says: Like the majority
of men who follow my calling
have been annoyed at different
times with kidney complaint
beginning some eight years ago
with slight pain in my back
which increased until it became 4
decidedly annoying. If the Ing
haling of the ingredients use
in my occupation was not q
primary cause of the trouble
at least aggravated it when a
tacks were in the virulent stage
| noticed latterly that in danny I
OF wet weather | suffered con-
siderable and to stoop or
straighten often caused such
excruciating pain across the
loins | thought my back was
breaking in two. | never quit
work but | felt many a time
like it in spite of all remedies I
used. Doan's kidney Pills
were the last preparation /
tried. They commenced to re-
gulate the kidney secretions
and when they were brought to
a normal action the backache
ceased"
For sale by all Dealers
Price so cents. Foster MilbuI
Co. Buffalo, n. Y. sole agents
for the u. S. 4
Remember the name Doans
and take no substitute.
Christmas will soon be here
and we would suggest to those
who expect to send gifts to dis
tant friends that if their re-
membranes are sent 10y mali
they should be registered. 1t
costs but little and there is al
most no possibility of their be-
ing lost, which SO frequently
happens when sent by the ordi-
nary mail. Postal clerks with
tons OF extra mail to handle
necessarily make mistakes when
so rushed and the large mass of
mail tends to tear the wrap.i
pings of pagages and so man.
II them get lost OF are q lo.ia
time getting to their destina-
ton. While a package that Isl.
registered travels a little slow
err on account of the number of
times that it must be entered
in books and receipts given tyr
it, it is pretty certain of ulti-
mately reaching its destination
in good order. The fee is only
eight cents and you get a re-
ceipt from The postmaster and
also from the addressee.
Better have them registered.
Observer.
Ci;s:s;s:;;;;;;i;;;;;;;;;i;;;i;:;;;;;;;ss;sss
Nothing has ever equalled 1t.
II Nothing can ever surDaSS it.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-17
Testimonial.

Nicola, Ia, Dec. /, '03.- On
Nov. 3rd ! lost a calf by light
ming. This is my second loss
this season by lightning. My
property is all insured with The
Old Reliable Hawkeye of Des
Moines, and their local agent,
t. A. Mitchell, of Nicola, called
at my place each time and set
tied my loss very satisfactory
and they were paid very
promptly by the company. !
consider both the company and
its agent reliable and can re-
commend them to my friends
and neighbors.
r. McCricl5ard.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-17

Mr.. and Mrs. Ed Bradley
visited over Sunday with Coun-
ell Bluffs friends.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-17

Mr.. and Mrs. M. ]. Fitzgib-
bon are Omaha visitors today.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-17

John A. Berry wants to buy
Fifty Thousand acres Of Har
rison county land. wit
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-17

John Dickinson, of Soldier,
was in the Valley today on
business.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-17

Miss Abbie Finley will be in
N. S. Dahls jewelry store until
after the holidays.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-17
Shooting Scrape.

Mrs. DR.. Hargens returns to
her home in Hot Springs, S. D.,
tomorrow, after several days
visit in this city, the guest of
Mrs. H. Hargens.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-17

g. ]. Terry, of Little Sioux,
was in the Valley on business
today.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1903-12-17
Miss Martha and Eva Willard

Mr.. and Mrs. L. Brown al
Omaha visitors today.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
Mistakes of Two Queens,

Marie Antoinette, escaping from the
Tuilleries, turned to the right instead
of to the left after passing the inner
arch. She lost he way, lost time, and
by this means lost her own head and
the head of Louis XVI. So the story
of Carlyle runs.
Queen Draga of Servia, according tc
the cable news of the hour, meant tc
leave Belgrade, but waited for going
away gown, being anxious that, as q
fugitive, she should appear in becom
ing attire 1t was a fatal delay. The
queen and Alexander fell in the palace
victims of nothing to wear"
There are many gaps in the hedge
which the divinity Of tradition spreads
about royalty. And spiteful small cir
cumstances slip easily through with
fateful large results. Pesides which il
appears that he must be wise king
who can forereckon with the false steI
or folly Of his Queen.-New York Sun
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
BEAR HUNT IN SUMNER
Bruin Strays into Settlement and the
Residents Have Q Chase That Ends
in the Animals Death.

Catskill, n. Y, July IA black
bear ambled out of the woods near
Glen Mary, half mile from here. Sew
eral visiting New Workers gave cha Sc.
summer place of Clarence Rowland,
where several shots were fired, but
without effect.
On the Samuel G. Hopkins place,
adjoining, the bear was freed by two
dogs and shot fired by James Hallen-
beck brought him down. The bear
weighed ITO pounds. The place where
he was killed is nine miles from the
mountains.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15

The late Harris Cohen-the "only
original Cohen" Of Baxter street,
New York-used to like to tell how he
once won bet of $50.
81 was on cunning trip with some
friends of mine," he would say, land
in field close to the house, where we
slept, a jackass pastured. This jack
ass kept us awake with his braying a
good part of the night. My friends,
do what they would, could not put a
stop to his noise.
81 happened to know a good deal
about jackasses. They abound, you
know, in Posen, the country where
came from. So 1 said to my friends:
"'I bet you $50 that can stop this
animals noise, so that tonight he
won't bray once
"They took the bet, and that even
ing treated the jackass for a minute
or two. The result was that all night
he was as silent as the grave.
'My friends, in the morning, paid me
what was due, and they examined the
animal. They found heavy stone
tied to his tail. That was all.
'They could not understand why
this should have kept him from bray
ing, so had to explain the reason to
them Do you know the reason? No!
Well, it was this: A jackass, to bray,
has to have his tail elevated till it is
level with his backbone. AS long as 1t
hangs down, he, can make no sound.
MY heavy stone, therefore, served the
purpose Of a gag."-Detroit News
Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
East Buffalo Live Stock
East Buffalo. n Y. j

East Buffalo, Y, July Is.
Dunning & Stevens, Live Stock Com
mission Merchants, East Buffalo, n Y,
quote as follows: Cattle-Receipts 100
cars; toe to 20 higher exporters, $4,000
$40; best 1900 to 1200-lb steers, $4,000
500; 1850 to 11OO-lb steers, $4.5O@4.75;
800 to 1000-lb steers, $4.25@4.50; COWS,
s350@S.75; best fat heifers; $4.00Q4.25;
lifht heifers, S.25@3.5O; feeding steers,
SO. 10000; export bulls, S4.OOQ4.25
butchers, S3.5O@3.75; nilch COWS, $42@
50 per head; springers, $35@45. Hogs
Receipts, 20 cars, fairly active; medil n
to heavy, $5.5O@5.55; yours, $6.OO@6.4o;
pigs, $6.3006.50; rou-hs, $4.75Q4.ov,
stays, $3.75@400. Sheep-Receipts, 80
cars lambs, 25c higher, sheep steady;
best springers, $6.25@650 fair to good,
$5.5O@6.0O; culls to common, S4.75@5.25;
yearlings, $4.50Q5.00; mixed sheep, 1913
@4.O0; fair to good, $S.50@3.75; culls and
bucks, $2.0@03.O0; export ewes, So. 100
S.75; wettes $4.25@4.50. Best calN es.
s6.O0Q650, fair to good. $5.5OQ600.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
M'KENNA TO LEE RESCUE
Noted Chicago Alderman Goes Bond for
Salvationists Arrested for Block
ing the Street.

Noted Chicago Alderman Goes Bond for
Salvationists Arrested for Block
ing the Street.
Chicago, July 14.-Twelve members
Of the Salvation Army, under the lead
ership of Adjutant Rosenia PAUL. and
Captain August Turney, were holding
services at State and Quincy streets
when they were arrested and taken to
the Harrison street police station
wherethey were locked up and charged
with ObStructing the sidewalk. The
prisoners held prayer service in their
cells, then Captain Turney telephoned
to Alderman Kenna, Of the First ward,
and told him Of their trouble, asking
him to secure their release. The alder
man responded to the plea and signed
bonds for their appearance before JUS
tice Prindiville.
II think it is shame for the police
to arrest these people, who are trying
to do good to mankind" said the al
derman. II think the Salvation Army
does more practical good than all the
churches and they'll find me their
friend whenever they ask for money
or help. l don't pose as a saint. be-
cause I'm not one, but I hate to see
people who help the poor arrested for
trying to make life easier for those
who have to live in the slums of our
large Cities"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
Sit in the shade, keep cool, an

Sit in the shade, keep cool, and
read the Herald.
-Chas. Neufang Of Potosi was a
caller Monday.
d. B. Brunson of Fennimore
was in the city Monday.
John Devlin of Viroqua visited
Lancaster relatives last week.
La Fayette county physicians
have organized county association.
Harry Wurster of Prairie du
Chen is a guest of Lancaster rela-
tives.
W. L. Miller has some home
stead land in Northern Wisconsin
for sale.
W. F. Joeckel and wife and
Martin Mcdonald and wife were
Dubuque visitors Sunday.
Yesterday was Bryan day at
Platteville and great crowd list
ened to the statesman's address.
A new bulletin board has been
placed in the depot upon which are
recorded arrival of incoming trains.
Conductor Phinney is enjoying
a brief rest at his home in this city.
Frank McGirr is attending to his
duties.
Miss Laura Wurster of Rich
land Center is being entertained at
the home of her sister, Mrs. w. B.
Dyer.
&C. G.. Dickinson is having his
Tennyson store and residence fitted
for acetylene lighting. Thos. Webb
& Son are executing the work.
Prof. S. E. Pearson has been re-
engaged to superintend the Viroqua
schools another year. It is a fit
testimonial of his ability and worth.
Martin Oswald and son VIE
land have given up their trip to
Switzerland. Mr.. Oswald does not
feel able to withstand the ocean
voyage.
"A son was born to Mr.. and Mrs.
Walter Ziegler Monday. Mrs.
Ziegler is at the parental home,
the Budd farm, west of town.
Grandfather Budd is i'll, but the
doctors say the blow won't kill him.
Engineer Thos. Dolan looked
after interests here Monday and
found time to greet old friends. He
still retains his passenger run on
the Northwestern from Madison to
Milwaukee, with residence at the
latter place.
Mineral Point has a fire COM
pany worth having. At a recent
fire they saved poor woman's
house excepting that it would need
new roof, and then took up a
subscription among themselves to
pay for a new roof.
The Herald's gratifying growth
continues. Every day new name
or two is enrolled. The semi-weekly
pleases them and paper twice a
week for 81. so is preferable to one
that is printed but once week,
price being the same. Subscribers
added to the list this week are
Elmer lockwood, A. J. Martin,
M. A. Tyler and j. M. Teesdale,
Lancaster; G.. III. Bennett, Wilton,
Wis; Chas. Neufang, Potosi.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
Chicago Grain.
Chicago Live stock.

Chicago, July Is.
Hogs-Estimated receipts for the day,
$4,000 Sales ranged at $5.60@5.90 for
pigs, $5.45W570 for light, $4.9O@5.15 for
rough packing and shipping lots with
the bulk Of the sales at $o.30@5.45 for
fair to good averages.
Cattle--Estimated receipts for the
day, $4,000. Quotatloos ranged at 5000
$50 for choice to extra steers, $475W
515 good to choice do, $4.3504.S0 fair
to good do, $400@450 common to medi-
UNI do, $4.25@5.40 fed western steers,
$270@4.S5 stockers and feeders, $1.65@
46O COWS, $2.75@4.75 heifers, $225Q4.50
bulls and oxen, $3.5O@4.25 stays, $4,000
45O Texas steers, and $4.0OW7.00 veal
calves.
Sheep-Estimated receipts for the
day, $4,000. Quotations ranged at $500
$500 westerns, $3O0@495 natives, $4.65
0645 western lambs, and $4.25@ $40 ma
five lambs.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
THE WEATHER

The following is the official weather
forecast up to 8 o'clock tonight:
Illinois and Internationally fair;
warmer in central portions; variable
winds
Missouri-Generally fair; warmer in
south portion; variable winds, mostly
northerly.
Lower Michigan-Generally fair; vair
ale winds.
Wisconsin-Generally fair; warmer
and in west portion variable winds.
lowa-Generally fair; rising tempeEa-
ture; variable winds, becoming souther-
lN
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
Tornado Leaves a Pa III of Wreck.

Carbonate, ILL.,, July IA tornado
swept over Carbonate, doing a large
amount of damage. City Clerk Cald-
well was badly injured. The second
story of his. brick residence was
wrecked. Several other residences were
unroofed, and some were moved from
their foundations. Barns and out
houses along the path of the tornado
in the country were blown down.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15

ESTATE-Wm. F. McGonigal, deceased
Str of Wisconsin. County Court of Grant
Con- Probate.
Notice is hereby given that at the special
term of the County Court, to be held in and
for said county. at the Court House, IN the
city of Lancaster. in said county. on the End
Tuesday of August. A. D.. 1903 being the
18th day of August A. D.. 1908 at the hour
of ten O'Clock in the forenoon. the following
matter will be heard and considered:
The application of Ed. Nj. Lowry for the
admission to probate of the last will and
testament of VIM. f. McGonigal. late of the
city of Lancaster. in said county, and for
letters testamentary thereon and as tesla
mentary guardian.
By order of the Court
E. B. GOODSELL. County Judge
Dated July "A, 1903.
(First insertion July Is; last Aug. ~
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
Shamrocks Could Not Race.

New York, July 14.-Shamrock III
could get no opportunity for the
anticipated first test since the increase
in her sail area by stepping her taller
mast. The wind was too light and
there was q drilling rain.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
Curative Treatment.

"Your father used to say he couldn't
afford the trouble and expense of keep
ing pony for you. How did you cure
him Of that idea?"
81 just kept on nagging him."-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
His Talent.

"John Henry, I'll thrash you soundly
if I ever catch you telling another
story that isn't true"
"And yet, ma, l heard you say to
the minister that had great magma
ton" -Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15

When Mr.. Du Chaillu died in st. Pc
tersburg he had been engaged for
about eighteen months in preparing to
write a careful inclusive account of
the Russian empire. This was to be
his browning work and he had but just
begun, for he thought four or five years
were necessary.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
The Sea Widow.

"What have you got all that green
stuff on your. head for?" inquired the
first mermaid.
"Why, didn't you know Of my hus-
bands deathY' replied the other.
'These are my Widows seaweeds. p
Philadelphia Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
DoubtfnI Consolation.

'I'm afraid" said Willie Washington,
"that I lack self confidence"
"Cheer up" said Miss Cayenne.
perhaps that fact indicates that yoL
are a good judge Of human nature. =
Washington Star.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15

STEAMER TEAL makes two regu-
lar trips daily from Potosi to Dubuque
except Monday when but one trip is
made. Leaves Potosi at a. m. and 4
p. m. Leaves Dubuque at a. m. and
5:l5 %. m. 32W2
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
No Good Effects Motto ed.

She-The milliner told me that she
had been down to the dentists to have
a nerve killed.
He-Well, from the prices she asks
for hats should say the dentist must
have killed the wrong one.-Stray Sto-
ripS
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
WOuldn,t Warm UD.

cit was really chilly on the porch
last evening"" she said.
''What was the matter" asked her
dearest friend. "Wouldn't he pro-
posew -Chicago Post.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15

Now for the picnic where we eat
Large chunks of half-ripe cantaloupe,
While with the jam and sugar sweet
We see the small red ant elOpe
-Rit Stephens returned to Dako-
ia Monday.
Joe Wright is in South Dakota
on business.
Miss Kate Maclay is visiting in
Dubuque and Waterloo, Ia.
Mrs. Kraemer returned Satur-
day from visit at Fennimore.
Miss Celia Hearn returned to
her home in Dodgeville Monday.
Miss Nettie Welsh Of Galena
was q Lancaster visitor first of the
week.
Miss Fannie Book, who has
been visiting in Minneapolis, is
home.
Miss Bessie BROKER was a
Dodgeville visitor portion Of last
week. 1890 -
-Trainmaster A. f. Reiner Of
Baraboo was in the city Monday
night.
Misses Florence and Helen
Street are visiting at the Phelps
home.
-Messrs, G.. S. Elliott and Alb.
Clark were here from Muscoda
Saturday.
Miss BartelI of Platteville is Wis
iting at the home of her sister, Mrs.
j. D. Hatch.
Mrs Schwarm of Minneapolis
is a guest of her sister, Mrs. A. j..
Wiedenbeck.
The blackberry crop is said to
be immense this year and will soon
begin to ripen.
Mrs. G.. Fl. Clements of Mil
waukee arrived in the city Saturday
to visit relatives.
Born to Mr.. and Mrs. John
Auchter of this city, on Saturday
last daughter.
Miss Elizabeth Butler of West
Branch, Ia, is visiting her sister,
Mrs, Frank Horton.
Miss Ethel Carter entertained
her Sunday School class at her
home Wednesday afternoon.
Mrs. l. II. Tarrant and children
of Milwaukee are guests at the
Stephens farm, east of town.
Mrs. Dan Green and daughter
of Rewey were welcome guests at
S. r. Green's few days last week.
L. D. Eastman and family take
their departure today via Potosi for
Waterloo, Ia, to visit Willard East
man and family.
Miss Stella Budworth returned
Saturday from weeks visit at
Platteville. Miss Mabel Austin of
that city accompanied her home.
A carload of structural iron for
the new courthouse arrived Satur-
day evening and is being unloaded.
A portion of it goes into the dome.
-Messrs. j. H. Reed, Will Jane,
Fred Burr and HI. S. Rhodes wit
messed the ball game between Lin
den and Montfort at the latter place
Saturday.
Miss Ella Rothschild, who has
been spending a month at her broth
Ell Walters home in Madison, S. D.,
is expected home this week. Mrs.
Walter Rothschild and children will
accompany her.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15

"Jones told me that horse couldn't
lose, and there he is running last"
81 guess Jones was holding the dope
sheet upside down when he figured
that out New York Evening Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
Can't ALWAYS Draw a Prize.

Mrs. Quizzy- Being az heiress, pre-
sumo you had your pick of the men?
Mrs. Bloitt-Yes, and, regret to say,
I picked the wrong one.-Baltimore
American.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
Local JOttingS.

Now for the picnic, where we eat
Large chunks of half-ripe cantaloupe,
While with the jam and sugar sweet
We see the small red ant elope
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15

Crusty Old Gent Ito tramp)-What!
Begging again?\ Didn't give you a
dime yesterday for meal?
Tramp (sarcastically)-Yes, know,
gov'nor, but overate, and | want to
get some medicine for it.-Columbia
Jester.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15

Long MINDED Lover-Ah me! And
how can show you all have within
my heart for you?
She desperately bored)-Cut it out
Yale Record.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15

"Another tragedy" said the cynic
as shrill shrieks arose from the ruined
cistern. 81 suppose there is woman
at the bottom of it.'-Yale Record.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15
A Picnic Witt tie
COLLEGE Testers

what did you do when Miss Kandid
said she thought you were odd?"
"Told her I'd get even."-Cornell
Widow.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15

The Actor-Yes, am to recite Ham
let's soliloquy-
The Critic-The audience ought to
sympathize with you.
ActOr-HoW?
Critic-Why, it'll be such hard lines
for both of you.-Harvard Lampoon.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-07-15

SOph-That was the cleanest game of
ball ever saw.
Junior-What game?
Soph-Why, the water polo match
Columbia Jester.