The Savannah morning news., 1903-02-22

envy IN Desplaines sthreet. TIL av'rage
size iv tn family in Michigan avnoo is
.O000O1, but tn av'rage size iv tn FAM
~ in Ar-rchey Road is somewhat larg-
er. Afther l r-read what Dock Eliot
had to say, l asst me frind Dock Groganf
what he thought about it. He's a rale
dock. He has a horse an buggy. He's
out so much at night that tn polls
ar-re always stoppin' him thinkin he
is burglar. The dock has prepared
some statistics FIR me, an here they
ARE: Number iv twins BORN in
Ar-rchey Road firm Halsted sthreet to
Westhern aVnOo firm Janooary wan to
Janooary wan, 365 pairs; number iv
thrips iv thriplets in tn same fiscal
year, nine; number iv individjool vot-
ers, eighty-three thousan' nine hundred
an forty-twO; aV'rage size iv family,
fourteen; av'rage weight iv parents,
wan hundred an eighty-five; av'rage
size iv rooms, nine be eight; av'rage
night iv ceilin', nine feet; aV'rage
wages, wan dollar sivinty-five; av'rage
duration iv docthor's bills, two hundred
years.
II took tn statistics to Father Kelly.
He's an onprejudiCed man, an if tn
race was dyin' out he wud have had a
soundin' board in his pulpit long ago,
so that Whin he mintioned tn wurrud
Hell, ivryWan in tn congregation wud
have thought he meant him or her. L
think, says Father Kelly, that Dock
Grogan is a little wrong in his figures.
He's boaStin'. In this parrish | allow
twelve births to wan marredge 1t
varies, iv coorse, bein' sometimes as
low as nine an sometimes as high as
fifteen. But twelve is about tn av-
rage he says. If We see Dock Eliot
he says, we can tell him tn race amt
dyin' out very bad in this here part iv
tn wurruld. On tn conthry. 1t amt
lible to ayether,' he says, 'onless wages
is raised he says. TIL poor ARE be-
comm richer in childher an tn rich
poorer he says. TITS always TIL way,
he says. TIL bigger tn house tn
smaller tn family. Michigan avnoo
is always thinnin' out firm itsilf an
CROWN firm tn efforts iv Ar-rchey
Road. IT'S a way Nature has iv gettin
aven with tn rich an pow'rful. Wan
part iV town has nawthin but money
an another nawthin' but chiIdher. A
man with tin dollars week will have
tin childher; man with wan humid
herd dollars will have five, an a man
with a, millyen will buy an autymobill
4e can tell SchWartZmeister with his
thirteen little Hanses an Helenas that
he don't have to throw no bombs to
make room FIR his childher TIL people
over in Michigan avnoo will do tina,
thimsilveS. Nature, he says, is a wild
dimmycrat,' he says.
II guess he's right. I'm goin' to ask
Dock Eliot, Tiddy Rosenfelt an all tn
rest iV thin to come up Ar-rchey R.
road some summers Afternoon an
show thin tn way tn r-race is dyin'
out. TIL front stoops is full iv child
her; they block tn throlley cars;
they'r shyin' bricks at tn polls. pullin'
up cOal-hole covers, plaYin ring
around-th'-ros shootin' dice, maxim
paper dolls, goin' to Sundah school,
hurryin' with tn sprinklin' pot to TIL
place at tn corner an indulgin' in
other sports iv childhood. Pah-pah is
settin' on tn steps, ma is lanin out iv
tn window gassin' with tn neighbors,
an a squad iv polls ar-re up at tn
church keepin' tn christenin' parties
firm mobbin' Father Kelly, while he
inthrajooces wan thousan' little Mich
aels, Pathricks, lawns, Robert limits,
Hates, Bridgets an Mary AIMS or
James or Ellens to Cristyan s'ciety.
No, sir, tn race, far firm dyin' out in
Ar-rchey R-road, is runnin aisy an
comm sthrong."
Eye ought to be ashamed to talk
about such subjicks, We, an OF batch, -
said Hennessy. It's a seeryous ques-
ton"
How many childher have ye?" ask
ed Mr.. Dooley.
Lave me see," said Hennessy.
IVAN, two, four, five, eight, siven,
eight, tin-no, that's not right Lave
me see. All, yes, 1 f'rgot Terence. We
have fourteen"
IF tn race iv Hinnissys dies out, :"
said Mr.. Dooly, civil be firm over
crowdin'."