The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-03-01

tn White House f'r dinner. Prepara | tions is bein' made fr tn dinner to tn Royal Knights if tn Order iv Orienta I Splendher iv Pazazas whose prisidint l. tn Hon'rable Egregious Gass iv Ally bama, A wagon load iv bullets an hams 1 was delivered yisterdah at tn White House. Tn dinner will be followed bt a musical at which tn Prisidint and Sin l itor Hanna will sing a dueet. Both statesmen will black up in homer iv tn l comp'ny. Tn prisidint has appinted Hon rable Lucullus Buffins, tn we'll known naygur orather to be marshal al Pianola, Miss Frinds iv th' family ar-re kindly rayquisted to omit flowers.
 'Immajately on rayceivin his commissios as postmasther iv Ozaloo, Louisyany, tn
 Hon'rable Napolyon Bliggs. tn cilly- | brated naygur aggytater took tn night l thrain to tn North. In spite iv tn late ness iv tn hour large number iv Mis- ther Bliggs' fellow citizens escorted him to tn thrain. They wud not permit him to walk, but insisted on carryin' him on a two-be-four restin' on their shouldhers Misther Bliggs expects to spind some time in tn North when he will consult prom 'nent surgeon an have tn feathers ex- thracted.'
 But tn throuble with this here plan is that tn higher ye boost tn naygur by askin' him up to tn White House, tn farther he has to fall whin he gets about two blocks south iv tn White House. Wan iv our dusky fellow citi- zens comes out firm a meal with tn prisidint an cake walks to a car. He is not puffed up with tn rayciptiou. Not at all. Tn av'rage chest measurement iv colored gintleman who has had three or four fish balls with tn prisidint is rarely over wan hundr d an eighty inch es. So he .nodestly sthruts over to car. takes a seat, puts his feet in tn lap iv tn lady acrost firm him an says in a diferinchal yell to a Confidrate Colonel mex to him: White pusson. give this here frind iv' tn prisidint a light firm ye'er see-gar.' An w1ir. he comes to his leg is on fire.
 Me frinds down South don't believe in this way iv ilivatin tn coon. They have ways iv their own. They think a nayRur ought to be improved slowly. Tn slower tn bother. I was r-readin' a speech be wan iv thim tn other day. He was con- sarvative on tn question. Like all south ern men he admitted that something was to be said on both sides. He did not boast iv his section iv tn counthry. A thrue Southerner niver does. Id would Ill become him to suggist that tn South is annything more thin tn fairest spot on Gawd's footstool. inhabited be tn bravest men. tn loveliest an mos var chous women, tn most toothsome an encouragin' booze an tn fastest ponIAs In tn wurruld. Let others tell iv tn beauties iv tn South. Ye will not dhraw tn tale firm tn lips iv a Southern man. Aven in his cups he scorns to give more thin three cheers a minyit fir tn Rlory- ous State iv Mississippi. A Matsachoo- sets man will hit ye over tn head with codtish if ye don't say that Matsachoo- setts Is tn mos noble jool in tn bright -girdle on tn brow iv Columbia. Ye can't go into bar-room without seein' A man sthandin on table an yellin' fir New Hampshire. Eight or nine bartinders was shot las year fr rayfusin' to sing: q was bor-rn in or Ohio where tn dhrink- in wathers blue.' But a Southern mai Is rayluctant to speak iv his home. He laves 1t speak fir itself an if We don't nsetn he merely nudges ye in tn ribs fa
 miyarly with knife
 So this here reprisintative tv th' cuI- ture an civvylization iv tn South begun ms speech with cautious allusion to th' well-known fact that tn South Is in, bravest. tn freest, tn sunniest. th mos. ihteilechool region iv tn country nao- pied be tn mos chilavrous men an tn sweetest women that tn green light iy Hlvln iver shown down upon. where th' latch stirring Is always out to welcome sthrangers to hospital cheer an no wan Is touehy about his r-rights He