Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-11-19
BROTHER GARDNER
He Gives Some Paternal Advice to Q Departing Brother ~@ &
Lcopyright, 1903, by c. B. Lewis.l

 sarsaparilla and molasses candy on the outside, and he at once began getting his shoes mended and the buttons sew ed on his vest.
 l At the last meeting of the club it was announced that he had succeeded in borrowing 90 cents of Elder Pen- stock and would start on his journey next day. After the routine business had been transacted Brother Gardner arose and looked around and queried:
 "Am Brudder Shindig Watkins in our midst dis eavenin'?" 'fHe am,' replied the brother as he stood up.
 q didn't know but yo' had dun fell outer de winder into de alley, same as once befo', an Ize glad to find to de contrary. Brudder Watkins, I'ze bin told dat yo' talk O leavin' us?'
 ''Yes, sah; does." ..~
 "Gwine down to Injianny to sot up in bfzness fur yo'self, I hear|
 "Yes, sah." .... ..
 ''Waal, dis club will miss yo', an each an ebery member will be sorry to see yo' go. While yo' am not brilliant man, neither hev yo' spit on
 
 neys. As dis am de last meetin' befo' yo'r departur' wish to say a few fa- I therly words to yo'."
 "Yes, sah.''
 'In de fust place, pay up all yo'r debts befo' yo' go. Had Cicero left Rome owin' fur house rent, groceries, bacon an so on he could never hev achieved greatness. Tn de second place. if yo've bin mad at anybody be- kase yo' couldn't agree about de aige of Noah when he entered de ark go to him an offer yo'r hand an make friends
 "I has dun it, sah,' replied Shindig.
 "Dat am we'll I also want to take advantage of dis occashun to say few words to yo' on de subject of hon. esty.
 "A good many years ago, as de story runs, dar was a strictly honest man. I He begun life wid de determinashun to do de squar thing under all sarcum- stances He had cash capital of $25,- GOO an lots of faith in human natur'. He planted watermillyuns an didn't hire nobody to watch de patch. He kept chickens an didn't hev no lock on de henhouse doah. He lent money an didn't ax fur no I. O. U. He signed bonds an notes an didn't ax fur no se- curity. If he bought mewl he took de odder mans word fur it; if he sold one he promptly p'inted out de ringbones an spavins an owned up dat de beast was about twenty years old.
 "Brudder Watkins, how long do yo' reckon dat man lasted? In jest nine years he was in de poorhouse, an he nebber dun got out ag'in. All de rest of de kentry was watchin' him to see how de experiment would pan out. It was dead failure an a solemn warnin'. Does yo' ketch on, Brldder WatkinsT 2l "I reckon I does, sah," was the reply. | "Doan' go down to Injianny feelin' dat yo' am doin' de state 8 great favor by de comin', an doan' attempt to put on style ober de people yo' meet. If yo' had nebber bin bon into dis world de state of Injianny would hev got along jest de same. She wants yo'r ice cream I am 'Iasses candy, but she isn't gwine to bust up bekase she doan' git lem. Ut will of co'se be known dat yo' am a member of dis Limekiln club, an aldermen, judges an eben de guvner I will call on yo' an stop to shake hands wid yo' on de street. Doan' let yo'rself I git swelled up wid pride Be jest proud huff to go right on tendin' to bizness, but not proud huff to bust to pieces like a b'iler carryin' too much steam. Does yo' understand my meanin', Brud- der Watkins?" %
 t'Yes, sah; I does, sah.''
 "Doan' land in Indianapolis wid any pertickler motto on yor banner. Excel sior am very good motto, but it sell dom pans out anything dat de owner feels proud of. Notices war all right POO years ago, when land was cheap an yo' could vote as often as yo' want ed to on 'leckshun day, but times hev changed. In olden times honesty was de best policy, but in desc days de man who buys watch is supposed to count all de wheels fur hisself. If yo' find dat yo' kin mix a, little co'nstarch wid yo'r ice cream an thus save expenses an please de people jest de same yo' will probably do so of yo'r own accord.'
 "Yes, sah; Lze gwine to mix lem about half an half," smilingly replied the brother. ....
 Oats heap O starch, but mebbe not too much. I doan' know how yo' stand on de matter of chickens, Brud- der Watkins, but in removin' to a new community it seems to me dat yo' had better go slow. Dat am, doan' let yo'r hankerln' fur chicken git de better of yo'r judgment. Let bacon an codfish satisfy yo' until yo' hev looked around.
 ''Yo' am doubtless awaT' of de fact dat de torpedo chicken am an Injianny invenshun and dat ober 5O,00o of 'em am in use in dat state. In some cases whar de torpedo chicken am in use I yo' will find red chalk mark on de hencoop doah; in odders yo' will take long chances. Make no decided move till yo' have bin in Indianapolis fur at least a month"
 q was gwine to say, sah, dat I doan' keer fur chickens tall"
 Den it's all de better fur yo', Brud-