davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
Had Ills Money. worth.

ON one occasion when a boardcr had
dcvourcd almost everything catablc on
the table within his reach and when
the mnd'ady had supplied him until
her strength and patience were well
nigh exhausted she suddenly broke out
with:
IL shall certainly have to raise the
price OF your board"
Don't think of doing such thing"
he replied. 1T Is nearly killing mo
now to eat all pay for, ana should you
raise my board ana compel me TO eat
more IL will be the death of me-"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
Its Never Given Away.

pa" said Johnny, who Is n persist.
ent knowledge seeker, what is n law
giverT
There isn't any such thing, Johnny"
replied the old gentleman, who had
been involved In considerable litigation
In his time.
But this bouS says that somebody
was great lawgivcr." persisted the
youngstcr.
Then it's mistake" rcioincd his
father. Law Is never given; It's re-.
tailed in very small quantities at very
high figures"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
where the other Half WAS.

A young minister in the course OF an
eloquent sermon on the pomps and
~anities Of the world staggered his con.
gregation by exclaiming:
"Here am / standing here preaching
TO you with only half n shirt on my
back. while you sit there covered with
gewgaws and other baubles."
The next day parcel containing sew
eral brand new shirts was left at his
house 10y one OF his hearers. kind
hearted old lady. Meeting the donor a
few days afterward. he thanked her cx.
cecdingly. but expressed much surprise
Mt receiving such nm unexpected gift.
"Oh." said the lady. you mentioned
in your sermon on Sunday that you
had only half shirt on your back"
"Quite true" added his reverence,
''but you seem to forget the other half
was In front"-London Tit-Bits.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
Wealth In InDInn,I.

What the buffalo was to the Indian
the reindeer is to the Lapps. At the
present day the wealth of a Lapp is
calculated in reindeer. Thus, when the
people speak of n mans estate they
say, He is worth so many deer"
Those who have only fifty or sixty
head are poor servants, and their deer
are put with those OF their "betters."
To have any kind of social standing in
Iapland one should possess at least 500
of these animals. \ Lapp is considered
we'll off when he is the happy owner of
not less than 1000 reindeer.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
An AuthOrity.

Peter Macarthur was once talking
with a FREUD when he quoted another
man rs a financial authority. Ills
friend disputed the right OF the person
quoted to bc considered IN expert Mr..
Macarthur insisted that the mau had
right to speak like an oracle.
What Is your definition Of an au-
thorltyi" asked his friend.
MY idea OF an authority" rctortcd
Mr.. McArthur lis n person who bluffs
beyond my limit"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
The HutIcr Mns Sin Doubt.

The recent St Andrews dinners, ac-
Cording 20 the Westminster Gazette,
have been noteworthy for the profu.
Sion of Scotch stories which In several
cases fairly set the tables in Il roar.
Some of them have an ancient ring,
but there Is one that is perhaps NOT
generally known. \ doctor was ut.
tending dangerous case where %
Scotch butler was engaged. ON calling
in the forenoon he said TO Donald, i
hope your masters temperature Is
much lower today than IL was last
night" I'm no sac very sure ahoot
that" rcped the butler, "for he deed
this morning"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

THE election Of Judge OF the
Supreme Court of the state, to fill
the place made vacant by the re-
tirement OF Judge Rogers, will come
up soon in the General Assembly.
1t is generally conceded that the
chances are very much in favor OF
Hon Clarke II. Johnson, whose
qualities for the position are un-
questioned.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

During the year 1902, two men
in America were killed in prize
fights; and in a season of three
months just passed, twenty-one men
have been killed playing football.
Fifteen of these died from broken
necks or broken backs. How many
men have been ruptured and per-
manently injured in various other
ways no man can say. ! know, says
Elbert Hubbard, in the March
COSMOPOLITAN, that two young
men with whom | was personally
acquainted are now in lunatlc asy-
lums as result OF football, and
their raving are the cries and signals
OF this game. If you still think that
football is manly sport, you might
interview the parents of these yourg
men.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

A hearing IN relation TO the grant
ing a charter to the Western Rhode
Island Railway Company is to be
given by the Committee on Corpo-
rations at the State House, today.
The company has petitioned to build
and maintain an electric railroad
from Cowesett Bay to Wallum
Pond, and going through the towns
Of Warwick, Scituate, Coventry,
Smithfeld, Glocester and Burrill-
vile. The railroad, If built, will
intersect the Providence and Daniel
son X. II. at South Scituate and pass
through Apponaug, Crompton, An.
thony, Quidnick, Hope, North
Scituate, Greehville, Harmony,
Chepachet and Pascoag, 1t is un-
derstood that should the c 'ait,r lie
granted, there is no doubt about the
road being constructed and put in
operation as soon as possible.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

I 1t has been estimated by an expert
in the employ of the government
that agricultural machinery reduces
the number of men employed to do
a given amount of work to one-third,
while manufacturing machinery re-
duces the number to one .fiitieth -
Exchange
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
EnInrs nf IhIIhrcn's ENcs.

II has bccu Conclusivcly proved that
women have larger proportion Of
brown eyes than men. IT I'm parents
the mother has brown eyes and the
father blue, the chances are eighty
eight TO twelve that the girls Of the
family will be brown eyed, the percent.
age I'm favor of the boys having blue
eyes being scvcnty-two 10 twcnty-cight.
If the parents have eyes Of like color,
the chances in favor of the children,
both male and female. having eyes of
the same color are ninety-two TO eight,
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

NEw YoRK's candidate f,r the
Democratic nomination tor pre>i-
dent, Judge Altrn Is Parker, has
had remarkably successful political
career. The explanation of his be-
ing selected for standard bearer by
the leaders of Democracy in the
Empire state will be given IN an
I'll strated article in The Boston
Sunday Herald OF March /, which
will include his latest portrait and
pictures OF his home.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
4 Connie of nuIIs

In General Moore's command was an
Irish soldier who, having been asked
If the lIolanders were a hospitable
people. Immediately replied: They are
that; too much So. Oi was in the hoSh-
pital all the tonne Oi was there
This criticism is quite on par with
that of the Englshman who objected
10 the French because he said the stu
pid idiots couldn't understand theiF
own language when he spoke 1t to
them.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
strained Relations.

IL took place In dairy.
The dairyman was pouring large
quantities OF milk through n fine wire
netting
There were microbes In mc milk.
Other microbes 10y the hundred wern
sitting on the edge OF the crock aud
gJyly looking on.
Their relations were being strained
Baltimore American.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
How lie Kent Humble.

Hiller-You'll excuse me. but never
see your name In the list OF subscribers
for the poor Of the village.
SLENDER Naturally. You soc. Il Il
this way: pity the poor awfully and
| am rather proud that I do pity them.
IL ! should go so far ms 20 give them
money, Id bc so vain thcrc'd be no
llylps ip the same town with me. Bos:
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

First Yacht-Nancy's not at all mod.
est. you know.
Second Yacht-IIow's that7
First Yacht-She was seen huggine
che Jersey coast as she passed in.-New
York Times. 49,
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

Old Dr Grimshaw ito medical stu.
dentl-And now, remember that TO a
physician humanity is divided into two
classes.
Student-And what are they doctor?
Old Grimshaw-The poor whom he
cures and the rich whou he doctors
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

PEOPLE should not get the inn
preston that Hon. Nelson w.
Aldrich is a national agent for the
trusts. He is senator for the state
of Rhode Island.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
Most Important News tie HAD.

"Well. John. am going to your ma.
tive town, and II | see any of your
folks what shall tell themT
Proud Youth-Oh. nothing. only IL
they say anything about whiskers just
tell them I've got some Stray Stories
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

ANOTHER electric railway is
proposed and the General Assembly
has been asked for a charter. The
new line if built will run from
Centredale TO Pascoag.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

A Chicago man has produced the the.
ory that Venus dr Milo never wore
corscts because she had no arms and
couldn't possibly huyo hooked them TO
gcthCr.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
0uushCtl.

william" asked the regular patron
"ls this real pumpkin pley"
Its dc punkcst We got. sab" Stiflly
replied the auStcrc waiter. - Chicago
Tr.Juuc.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

Miss Bostonwick-Did you go TO the
Wagner concerto
Mr.. Poker | did,
Miss B.-What was Il like?
Mr.. P.-l.ikc Browning set To music.
Town and Country
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

Maude- MIR. Willing asked me to ac-
company him TO the opera tomorrow
evening.
Clara-And YOU accepted the invita-
tiOnf
"Ccrtainly."
strange, He asked me also"
There's nothing strange about II at
all told him | wouldn't 20 unless he
provided a ChupCruu.'
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
THE boy, who smokes cigarettes,
may be president-if he lives.

The impress OF the late blizzard
is growing beautifully less on the city
streets, but IN the country it is far
from being ehaced.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

wig-Mould you rather bc born
lucky OF ricb:
Wag I'd rather bc ho-n rich Then
you don't have % be lucky. Exchange
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
Hard Patients.

Young Doctor Which kind of pa.
tents do you find IL the hardest to
curel
Old Doctor-Thosc who have nothing
the matter with them.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27


There Is comfort in the knowledge so
often expressed, that Or. Kilmer's Swamp
Root the great kidney remedy fulfills every
wish in curing rheumatism, pain in the
back, kidneys, liver bladder and every par,
Of the urinary passage. Il corrects inability
TO hold water and scalding pain in passing
It, or bad effects following use OF liquor,
wine or beer, and overcomes that unpleasant
necessity Of being compelled TO 60 often
during the day, and TO get up many times
during the night. The mild and the extra
ordinary effect Of Swamp-Root is soon
realized. It stands the highest for its won
dertul cures Of the most distressing cases.
fyou need a medicine you should have the
best. Sold by druggists in 5Oc ST. sizes.
You may have sample bottle Of thi,
wonderful discovery fyt
and a book that tells asTissYk1 I'll taS,,ssIs:ss
more about IT, both sent ~ i - ss.gsI q.
absolutely free By mail. IL. s4s sLs.s AZ 70
Address Or. kilmer & Home OF swampRoo,.
Co., Bnghamton, N. Y. When writing mem
ton reading this generous offer in this paper.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27

sediment or set
Ting indicates an
unhealthy condi-
tion Of the kid.
neys; II It stains
your linen il is
evidence Of kid
ney trouble too
frequent desire 10
pass II or pain IN
the back IS also
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
Thousands Have Kidney Trouble
and Don't Know il.
How To Find Ont.

FIJI bottle or common glass with your
water and let it stand twenty-four hours; a
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-27
What to Do.

convincing proof that the kidneys and blad,
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19
The Duluth Herald thinks that

The Duluth Herald thinks that the
old-fashioned method of voting on bills
by roll call should be changed. It says:
''In the British parliament about a
year ago a report on this subject was
presented as the fruit of an inquiry in
France, Germany, Italy, Austria, Spain,
Portugal, Belgium, Denmark, Holland,
Sweden, Switzerland, Japan and the
United States. Our congress proved to
be the one body of it's kind that goes
through the unsatisfactory primary
vote by choruses of ayes and noes
In all foreign parliaments, except the
Dutch and Swedish, the first vote is
what we use for a second, and is taken
by the members standing in their places
till counted. After that, resort is had
to the roll call, or ballot, or some other
means OF recording individual judg-
ments and reaching count OF: :unques-
tionable accuracy :::.,s
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19
Twins for John McCooI.

The Greenbush division Of the Min
nesota Rural Telephone line was kept
hot last Monday and the wires cunning
into the UNION office had to be encased
in ice several times to prevent them
from melting. The trouble was over
the repeated announcement of the fact
that twin boys had been born to John
McCool, and the event was the great
est thing that has struck Greenbush
since the cyclone of last summer. John
says that the lines of the song, ':And
the blow almost killed father'' contain
more truth than poetry. After twenty
years. service in public life John, Gin
cinnatus like, retired to his Greenbush
estate to enjoy life and he is certainly
to be congratulated on his great luck
to have two lads to perpetuate the fam
lily name and turn the burrows of the
McCool fields in years to come. Well
John, here's congratulations, sure.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19
A COPY of the nrOnOsed new os

A COPY Of the proposed new game
and fish law, S. F. No. Pts, has been re-
ceived at the UNION Office, and from a
hasty perusal Of the same we have no
hesitation in pronouncing it, the most
drastic and obnoxious measure ever
presented to a Minnesota legislature.
If that bill is enacted into law it will
be impossible for any one who is not
sportsman to legally taste of game in
this State. For instance, if you have
friend who is a,sportsman and he in the
kindness of his heart should present
you with a brace of prairie chickens,
you are liable to a minimum fine of
$500 if a game warden discovers you
with the chickens in your possession,
unless you have first paid for and OBJ
tanned a hunters license. 1t does not
seem possible that such measure will
ever be permitted to disgrace II our
statute books. .a., 81 ~ ''@ ae f.,
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19
IN his "Letters from a Self-mad

IN his Letters from a Self-made
Merchant to his. Son" George Horace
Lorimer, the author, says: ''Trading
on margin is good deal like padding
around the edge Of the old swimming
hole-it seems safe and easy at first,
but before, a fellow knows it he has
stepped off the edge into deep water.
The wheat pit is only thirty feet across,
but it reaches clear down to hell. And
trading on margins means trading on
the ragged edge of nothing. When a
man buys, he's buying something that
the other fellow hasn't got. When a
man sells, he's selling something that
he hasn't got. And it's been my ex-
perienceI that the met profit on nothing
is nit. When a speculator wins, he
don't stop till he loses, and when he
loses he can't stop till he wins. You
have been in the packing business long
enough to know that it takes bull
thirty seconds to lose his hide; and if
you'll believe me when tell you that
they can skin a bear just as quick on
change, you won't, have a board of
trade Indian using your pelt for a rug
during the long winter months.''
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19
School Debates.

The high school debating club on
Thursday of next week will debate, the
question, ''Resolved, That Washing
ton Was Crater Than Franklin" The
children Of the eighth grade have also
become interested in the debates and
have already had one debate. They
will have another on Friday of this
week, and the question is "Resolved,
That Electricity is More Useful to Man
Than Steam.''
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19

THE decree Of the car Of Russia
guaranteeing all his subjects freedom
Of religion and establishing to a certain
degree local self overnment, is one Of
the greatest states documents of mod
ern times, for it. means a new Russia
and it makes the Slav stronger than
ever by driving out fear and oppression
and letting the light of a broader free
dom and tolerance hasten the growth
of power and wisdom. A press dispatch
says: "Among the measures outlined
by the car for the attainment of these
ends is reform of the rural laws which
is to be effected with the advice of per-
sons who possess. the confidence of the
people. The system of administration
in the various governments and dis
tricts is to be examined by representa-
tives of different localities concerned
with a view of efecting the necessary
amendments. Measures are also to be
taken to relieve the peasantry Of the
burdens Of forced labor The extern
sion of self-government to the smaller
communities, corresponding with the
township organizations Of the United
States, is regarded as a great victory
for the district and provincial assem-
blies, while the retention Of the COM
munal system, with greater freedom of
withdrawal therefrom, meets the
wishes of the peasants and land own
ers, expressed through their local COM
mittees on agricultural depression.
The czar's desire for the cooperation
of the educated public closely follows
the action of Alexander II, at the time
of the emancipation movement
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19

REPRESENTATIVE BURNS has intro
duced d bill in the Legislature which
provides that. Public Examiner John
son shall be obliged to turn into the
State treasury for the benefit of his de-
partlnent, all fees collected by him
from the city Of st. Paul and from
building and loan associations, amount
ing to upwards of $1,000 annually, III
stead of converting the same to his own
private use. Mr.. .Johnson's newspa-
per organs land he seems to have every
newspaper in the twin cities on his
Staff assert that an attempt is being
made to cripple the public examiners
Office. Mr.. johnson receives salary
Of $4,000 per year, besides all his
travelling expenses are paid by the
State, and for a. man who has as much
leisure time at his disposal as Mr..
johnson it strikes us that $500 per
year and expenses is good pay for the
services he renders. In view Of; the
fact that Mr.. johnson in his report to
the governor page 16) vigorously con
dennis the fee system, why should he
or his newspaper organs take exceptions
to the Burns bill. Here is what Mr..
johnson says of the fee system: @~
my experience has taught me. that
the fee system as now in vogue for
the remuneration of so many of our
county officials, is ABSOLUTELY AND
UNQUALIFIEDLY VICIOUS, and should
be abandoned Immediately. Every
county officer should be placed upon a
reasonably liberal salary, and all fees
should be collected and paid into the
county treasury. Their efficiency would
be very largely increased, and all temp
tations toward overcharges or dishon-
esty would be removed.''
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19

Dr.. JAMES Of the Northwestern uni
versity says that the day is coming
when business will be taught in all our
colleges. The sooner the better. A
young man or woman with lot of
Caesar and the classics is like a ship
without rudder. The world is getting
to be cold, cruel, calculating ma
chine. We are throwing poetry and
sentiment to the dogs and getting into
the game with a pace that kills.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19

THE house has passed a bill provid-
ing that all patrol wagons in cities of
over $4,000 shall be covered so that the
unfortunates who have to ride in the
vehicles shall be spared the morbid
gaze of the pedestrians. The bill
ought to become a law. Innocent or
guilty those who are compelled to ride
in the patrol wagons should be allowed
to pull down the blinds.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19

1T is said that the coal strike commits
sion has made its report on the great
strike and the investigations that were
made by the commission and will hand
the report to the president in a few
days. The report is that there will
undoubtedly be- at least a 10 per cent
advance in the pay for mining, to take
effect front the time the miners re-
turned to work last October. The sys-
tenn of pay will be regulated. Where
ever practicable, the operators will be
required to pay by weight, instead of
by the car, and elsewhere by the ineal
yard. There will be indirect recogni-
tion of the union. which will come
when, the findings are submitted by
President Roosevelt to John Mitchell,
as president of the miners union. The
causes of the strike as found by the
commission will not be an endorsement
of the actions of the coal mining COM
panies. The boycott will be con-
demned and the principle will be-Tlaid
down that miner has a right to work
without molestation, even though he
does not belong to the union. The
terms Of the verdict are to hold good
for three years and recommendations
are to be made for settlement of wage
and other questions at the end of that
period. In local disputes the operators
will be advised to treat with commit
tees of the miners and there may be a
suggestion for local boards of arbitra-
ton.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19

THE Washington. correspondent of
the Chicago Record-Herald, William
E. Curtis, attacks our present rules of
congress which allow one individual
at times to absolutely block all import
ant legislation just because some par
ticular bill is not passed in which the
individual is particularly Interested:
Such tactics that are made possible.
show a weakness in our government.
thinks Mr.. Curtis, and he is right.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19
SECRETARY WILSON of the depart

SECRETARY WILSON of the depart
ment of agriculture sees no reason why
the corn belt should not be extended
as far north as northern Minnesota and
northern North Dakota. It is being
extended in, that direction at rapid
pace. Already the corn belt has gone
north Of northern Iowa, and Minnesota
some time since became member of
the corn producing states, and she is
getting there with both feet in corn
production
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1903-03-19
St. Patrick Social.

The Dorcas ladies held a St. Patrick
social and entertainment at G. A. r..
hall last Tuesday evening. The poor
condition of the roads and the very dis
agreeable weather was responsible for
a light attendance, but those present
report good time. A short program
was rendered apd the Shamrock hunt
was a St. Patrick amusement that
amused. Refreshments were served
during the evening.