The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-02-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

with Simpson that you threatened?s in
Quired Frisbie.
Oi did not. sorrs* replied Patrick
fou weren't afraid were you?"
"Oi WIZ not, SOFT; but. ye see. OF am
a portly mon an Simpson IS thin"
+VVelI2's
We'll. sorr. OF thought it would only
be fair fer me t sthand nearer L him
than him e me whole we wuz sho0tin'
sorr; but the umpires wouldn't listen
70 IL an so there wuz no duel. Judge.
When there are sliced peaches on the
table and the boy gets The cream lug
should the father speak low and be kind.
how2-AtchisOn Globe.
she-Do thoughts that came to you long
He "a poetl-sures If ineIose a stamped
envelope.-Denver Republican
They say that death loves shining
Does he9. Wen. it seems to me I've no
ticed that the fellows who wore the most
gold lace had no trouble in lodging dan
ger when any real lighting was going on. %
Cleveland Plain Dealer
Little Harold wish you were my nam
The Nurse-vVhy. dear?
Little Harold-'Cause you're so disagree
Little Harold-VVell. then. I wouldn't
hardly see you any more, and I could
stand it--Chicago Record-Hera1d
These moonlight nights are beautiful,
and It Is not good for a man to live alone
-D1ilon (Nyo-] DoubleJack-
Sympathetic L-istener-In those dreary.
desOlate wastes. Mr. DashpoIe. I suppose
you grew fond even OF your dogs.
Returned Arctic Explorer-Heavens, no,
miss. we had plenty Of pemmican and
walrus meat--Chieago Tribune.
The difference between a fanatic and a
crank is that the latter may listen to rea-
son If properly clubbed.-Chicag Record
Herald
The time is past when poets starved in
garrets- Most of them can get a job run
ming the elevator ncW--Atlanta Constitu-
ton
It is encouraging to hear Georgia edi-
ing out Of this paper # We die IN the at
Tempt Atlanta Constitution
In the bright lexicon Of sleigh riding a
hand in the hand is worth two in the muff
Judge
"Bobbie. did you know I was going to
marry your sister,
oh. yes. When did you find it outs'-
Life
Church. think there is room for i'm
Gotham-Yes. and that is about the only
thing there is room for--Xonkers States
man.
Doctor-How was 1t that you didn't hear
the cyclone coming2
Victim Why. you see my wife had q
sewing society meeting in the parl0r at
the r1me--Chicago Daily News.
The modern novel is bounded on the east
by blccd on the west by thunder. on the
north BY gossip on the south by inanities-
and is surrounded BY advertisements
Baltimore News
What pay do you get for being an al
derman2' asked the visiting relative
THE city allows me $3.50 q year" re-
{ Piled the alderman from the 1Steenth
ward. guardedly.-Chicag Tribune
The Whitsstt Courier says that some
Of the southern dialect work Of the
! load Of Georgia lightwood knots and is
just about as intelligent atlanta Consti-
tuition
Our candidate has declared. said the
partisan, that his ws-chWord is We can
I be too careful Of the public's interest
Which. replied the cynic. freely
translated. means we won't be If elected %
-Philadelphia Press
little boy demonstrated the Kind Old
Lady. don't you know It is very wrong
Tor children Ike you to smoke cigarettes2 e
/ s'd0 youse expect me L eat EN- ?s'-Cincin-
natl Commercial Tribune
DO I understand you to say. seDator
Graft. that you VIII sustain and support
+ the Trustss'' h0Wled the enthusiastic leg
/ fsiato--
You mistake the phrase said the sen
/ ator: calmly. = Gid not say would sup
II would hold them up Boston Herald