The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-03-29
SOCIETY WIDOW
Of HEN YORK
Her Many Advantages Over
Every Other Woman.
ARE SEVERAL CLASSES
Not All Those Pictured on the
Stage.
ARE SEVERAL CLASSES

It IS melancholy fact that the grim
reaper Death gathers his sheaves in the
palace as often as in the hovel. and re-
moves the head of q distinguished house
hold with rather more gusto than he
takes the clodhopper. Instances are nu-
merous. In Europe the widowhoods of
the lamented Queen Victoria, OF the Dow
ager Empress of Germany, and of Eu-
genie Empress OF the French, Will occur
10 every one. besides many others among
the nobility and gentry. With us in New
York every one will recall the brilliant
career of the widow Stevens, will delight
in the prolonged activities of the widow
Astor and look forward TO the splendid
possibilities of the widow Vanderbilt. The
main difference between death in the
palace and in the hovel is that in the
former instance the rich widow may after
a proper period of mourning. assume
most dignified and conspicuous position
in society, whereas to the poor woman
the loss of her mate means doubly hard
struggle for existence.
Let us dismiss the theory that the wild
ow's chief mission in life is to marry
again Except financial reasons-which
are sometimes insuperableall other con-
siderations urge her to remain in single
blessedness. She has tasted the bitter
sweets of matrimony, she has satisfied
her curiosity, appeased her vanity and
borne her children. With a fortune she
is the most independent woman in the
world. She can entertain in her great
houses in Newport and New York on
scale that perhaps husband would not
approve. She can sail about European
waters on a great steam yacht and hob
mob with kings. emperors and grand
dukes She can surround herself with
court of men to each of whom she as
signs some special duty as member of
her household II of a more serious turn
of mind. she can devote herself TO the
education of her children. and in giving
them every possible advantage of travel
and study may renew or form a first ac-
quslntance with the languages and art
treasures of Europe.
There are widows and widows. All
know the type that wraps herself in the
cloak of her despair and refuses to be
comforted. She wears mourning all her
life. and becomes as an ink spot on the
bright costumes of her friends. Happily
this kind of persistent. self-indulgent,
grief is rare. There is too much cour-
age. buoyancy and resiliency about the
healty breed 10 glory in sorrow which.
however real. should never be obtruded
on others. Give the brave, wholesome
woman two. three or four years of retire
ment in which to face and wear down her
loss. and in nine cases out of ten she
viii emerge more attractive, more
charming than ever; perhaps calmer and
more sedate than before, but also more
sympathetic, rather more beautiful and
quite ready 20 re-enter the world again
IN old places with old friends.
Il is then that the widow finds her
true place in society. in that warm cor
ner which is always ready for pretty
and agreeable woman who is also indie
pendent
There are so many things a widow can
do that other women cannot do, espec-
tally if she still be young and attractive
Her chief characteristic is that she fills
in so well everywhere. As untramelled
as a debutante as posse as a married
woman. there is no position or condition
of society that she cannot fill to perfec-
ton. She has her own house in town
and in the country enjoys gathering her
friends about her. She receives the at
tentions of many pretenders with great
good nature and apparent appreciation. I
but generally with a matter of fact direct /
ness that IS likely to be disconcerting |
way With her guests. her horses. her /
when not amusing herself in her own
dogs and her chiIF~en She is in great !
demand as a visitor at other houses and /
q guest at dinners. An attractive widow I
Is the quintessence of social amenity. She /
fits in anywhere.
It is as chaperon, though. that the /
widow is in most demand There is many !
an agreeable married woman who could /
fiji that position as well. except that she t
has a husband and that husband has to
be asked to the play. to the supper, on |
the yacht. to the races of the country /
club. when perhaps he is the very per-
son who is not wanted
Then along comes the widow. smiling. /
Jolly congenial. not prying. offcious or /
suspicious with never a detrimental of
any kind to deter her from filling just I
the space she is expected TO i'll. and Il !
such a widow has no children. and there
are several charming ones in New York
today who have not, she could spend her
entire time. In looking after the inter-
ests of her young friends and their ad-
nirers.
The childless widow is likely TO take a
great interest in charities especially those
devoted TO the welfare of young chill
iren. Deprived by discreet and seem
ngly unkind nature of the joys OF moth
srhood she turns with a loving and ten
Ter heart 10 the poor children Of others
little waits and strays little deformities,
even little criminals. She is a constant
and welcome visitor TO babies homes
and childrens hospitals She Is great
hand at organizing sewing classes ba-
.aars and various entertainments where
BY the shekels OF her friends may be
diverted from their pockets to the uses
II her proteges. She is a liberal giver
herself. and succeeds in having her kind
y example followed. Some OF the noble
,harities in New York were founded and
IRE supported by the direct or indirect
OF the childless widow.
II Is BY the exercise Of such social and
charitable impulses that the widow fills
/ life that might otherwise be sad and
ncrose. Who. can tell Il she may not
lave moments Of intense depression and
oneliness? II she does she hravely keeps
hem to herself. and II she be wise she
viii never permit such periods of de-
'pondency to urge her into a second mar
iage
Yet II our widow is not built on these
deal lines. and Is fravolous. fiirtatous
md indiscreet. as some are she may
'ecome a source of much danger in So
iety-a firebrand, an iutriguaute dere-