Arizona republican., 1903-09-28
CASEY AND All SAM.
A Conversation In Which the China man Makes Invidious Comparisons.

NlOTlDdflSOnS.
 Try an get a little more starch in the collar if you can," said Casey as he handed An Sam a knotted hand kerchief containing his weekly laur- dry.
 "Allite, I fix 'em. l tinl1 mebbe-so you want plenty starchee now. I tink mo starchee dan befo?'
 Well, I don't knows you have any think comin. l gives ;e yer money :n' you does me washin' an there's nothin' more to it. But what wuZ ye feelin' fer when ye handed me that bunch?"
 You heap good CIistian I tink,'' was all the answer the Chinaman gave him.
 "Theys no better Christians than I am." said Casey. "on'y some of them may work at it harder'n I do. But whats it to ye?"
 Not-ting only I lead 'em in China paper. come San FaEcisico bout Clis- tiar he catchem putty hard time now. Turkey man he kill 'em much people, kill 'em ebly day, I tink mebbe so some day two, tlee tOusand Clistian. He shoot em, cut 'em of heal. some time he make 'em too hos fire. burn em all up."
 Tt is d source of pleasure to me, :" said Casey in response. ito note that fer once in yer worthless life you've secured yer information from authentic an reliable sources an made a state men that can be corroborated by facts. The unspeakable Turk has broken out ill a new spot an the way he's spillin Christian t,ood reminds me of a Chi .I.;, Commanche Injun an as uncivilizad as Chinaman. Compared with Mace donia the burnin of Rome was a pray CT meetin' an the Sultan outDoints Nero in every rule O the game. He daughters Christians like Kansas farmers kills perairie dogs, o'ny he makes q better job of it. He says to Bulgaria if ye don't round up yer Christians and take 'em oft me range I'll kill every bloody one of 'en an on the other hand if ye set fut oyer me boundary line I'll kill all yer Christians an all yer sojers toe. But what's that got to do wid starchin me coliar?''
 ''Oh I tnk mebbe so you be shamed now; you likee somet'ing help !,old em up your head" said Sam. Plenty Clistian nation eblywhere not help Clistian fight Tuhkey. Melican man. him Clistian, Blitish, him Ciistian, Flance, him Clistian. too, an Gielman king. he putty good Clistian, Italian man, him Clistian, an Lushia, he mother kind Clistian. Too many Cls- tian all heap faid, no say one dam word. I no un'stand what foh rot make 'em allies, whip 'em sultan quick
 "Oh. see what yer drivin' at now" said Casey. "Ye think the Christian nations should combine, drive the Turk out of Europe and avenge the wrongs of the Christians. Well. that's just like the heather ye are. Ye don't know any more about politics than Senator Beveridge does about Arizona. II Turkey were served up to the na- tions they wouldn't be enough fer d cold lunch. They ain't enough white meat in the whole bird to organize police force, outside the harers. an in Christian countries they never make coppers of the ladies. If they cut Turkey up Russia reaches the sea ar' gets a horse on England. If Germany sides with Russia she gets her British kin folks down on her. If she don't she's liable to drop back into Jim Cor bett's class after the mill. If France backs Russia she breaks faith with the British an the battle of Waterloo will have to be fought all over again, an they can't any of em get to the ringside without passin' the Dago out posts. This country for the time be:n' is busy at the telegraph office picllin' d winner. The big fights too fur away an they's no cut rates advertised. There's the facts in the case an if that explanation is not sufficiently lu-