Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1903-11-28
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shaky. 1t may break down some
night. Proprietor-Must 1t be rebuiltp
Clerk-Oh, no; light 1t Uptown
Topics.
Say, mamma" querled little Mary
Ellen, whats a dead letter." ANY
letter that Is given to your father to
mail, my dear" replied the wise moth
er.--Chicago News.
Now" said the teacher, "can you
tell me anything about Hiawatha 2"
Yes" replied Henry; ITS the tune
that made Longfellow famous Chi
cago Record Herald.
An old Scotchwoman, when advised
by her minister to take snuff to keep
herself awake during the sermon, re-
piled: "Why dinna ye put the snuff
In the sermon, mon?"
Frank-Tve got even with James at
Frank gave his girl pair of pretty
vases and he will be ruined in keeping
them filled with flowers.
Observation-Disclosures, don't you think
you can get along without so much
company l am sure no one else would
stand 1t. Bridget-Sure, maam, thots
why Oi'm staying wild ye.
"Mr. Nozzleton," she said, IF you
try to hug and kiss me again shall
call papa" where is your fatherT
ne asked. Hes In the Yellowstone
Park."-Chicago Record Herald.
Smith-May make a confdant of
you? Jones-Why, certainly Smith
Well, I'm hard up and want ten
pounds. Jones-You can trust me;
am as silent as the grave. / have
heard nothing.
Ncwly-made Bride - Mamma says
she does not think we will ever quar-
rel as she and papa do. Groom-Nev-
err, dearest. Newly made Bride-No;
she says you will be much easier to
manage than papa was.-T1t Bits.
Algy-Gwace has a hahwid father.
When l awsked him for her hand 1
said, Love for your daughter has
dwiven me hawf cwasy. Cholly-And
then deah boy1 "Then the old bwute
said, Has, eh2 Well, who completed
the jobr"
The presence OF mind of an impecu-
NOUS lover was illustrated recently at
a bazaar, where there was a stall for
the sale of watch charms. "Oh,
George" said the lady, buy me a
charmv SARAH" answered he, you
have too many already"
Miss Romanz-Of course, you've
read that new love story OF hlsl Mr..
Crabbe (reviewer)-Yes; had to. Very
realistic, wasn't It? Miss Romano
oh, the idea! Why, the dialogue be-
tween the lovers was perfectly silly.
Mr.. Crabbe - Well?-Philadelph
Press
Uncle-How do you like your Sun
day school teacher? Tommy-Oh,
she's got good sense. She's smarter
than nom is Uncle-Indeed? SO you
believe in her, eh2 Tommy-Surel
Her an me thinks alike. She says
| Sunday school don't do me no good
Philadelphia Press.
Fritz, German lad, and little Tom
were very fond of each other, although
neither could understand what the
other said. "Why, Tommy" said his
father, 'your playmate does not speak
English, does hep" no" said Tommy,
"but when a bumblebee stung him yes
terdAy he cried In English and l UNI
derstood himp'
your huband, madam" said the
1t I'D
the charge OF arson" whats that
mean?" demanded the woman. ut
means that he Is accused of starting
the fire at his place of business
that" Nonsensel I've been mar
ried to that man twenty years, and he
never would start the fire"
Mrs Scrooge-I am writing to ask
the Browns to meet the Joneses here
at dinner, and to the Joneses to meet
the Browns. We owe them both an
invitation, you know. Mr.. Scrogge-
But I've heard they've just quarreled
and don't speak! Mrs. Scrooge-I
know. They'll refuse, and we needn't
give dinner party at all!-Tit-Bits.
One day when little Elsie came
home from school her mother asked
her what she had learned that day.
Elsie replied, 81 learned TO spell man"
Tell me how you spell 1t, DEAR" said
mamma. "M-a-n, man." replied Elsie.
"And how do you spell boy?" "You
spell 1t the same way, only with small
err letters" replied Elsie, after a mo-
ment's thought.
Scene-Platform of suburban sta
ton. Small crowd looking out for the
King Edwards Special, due to pass