davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-11-22
Good Stories fire Cold OF n bo Command Great Ocean Ls


n IOWADAYS, when so many thou
sands of people annually cross
the Atlantic on the great ocean
grayhounds which so swiftly ply be-
tween England and America, some facts
concerning the men in whom the great
shipping companies and the travellers
themselves so confidently place implicit
trust cannot fail to be of interest to
every one.
The shippers of the ocean steamships
of the present day are widely different
from the gruff old sea dogs of fifty, or
even twenty, years ago. Then the cap
tain was generally dictatorial, unoblig-
ing, rude, and cared nothing for the
comfort and well-being of his passen-
gers. But the exigencies of modern
civilization have completely changed all
this. In these days of keen COMPETE
ton, shipping combines and big divi-
dends, the companies realize that as a
profit earning factor, the captain must
be regarded primarily important. So
they have placed in command of their
boats polished gentlemen of good fam
lily and education, whose skill as navi-
gators is equal to their social qualities.
Many have served in the British
navy, and most of the captains and
many OF the officers OF the American
line have taken part as commissioned
officers of the government during ac-
tual hostilities.
One of the most interesting person
alities of the great fleet of ocean going
shippers is Capt. Horatio Mckay, who
until last year was commodore of the
Cunard line. He was legitimately
proud of the record that he had crossed
the Atlantic over 900 times in vessels
belonging to the company, without ever
having to report serious mishap.
While commodore of the Umbria he
added considerably to his reputation
for seamanship by bringing that vessel
into port of New York without assist
ance after one of the most serious ac-
cidents which can happen to a big
American steamer. Her shaft broke
while in midocean, and her machinery
was useless. Seven hundred and fifty
miles from port she was taken in tow
by the steamer Bohemia for a few
hours; but the towing hawsers broke,
and Capt. Mckay refused several 9TH
er offers to tow him in. BY sheer dog
ged perseverance he succeeded In
bringing the disabled Umbria in on her
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-11-22

"Can you butt-that is, are you but
Ter, or do you wish job as a coachnan,
oh a night Waterman, or what?" she
went on impatiently.
Il do not understand said the old
gentleman. Il want profitable employ
ment that is all.'
But what are you?-thats the point,
can see that you wouldn't be good lady S
maid, and 1 doubt if you would care to
become cook in suburban family,
with sixteen children, at fourteen dollars
month, said Mrs. Bunkum, sarcas-
tically and frowning. 'But whether you
want q position as a gardener, a valet or
a groom-how do L know?''
Madame" said the old gentleman.
drawing himself up proudly. 81 am a
baron"
."Fhen you don't want to come to an
intelligence office for a job, Mr. Baron
said the lady, CURLY. 1.-The place for
you to go to is matrimonial bureau.
There's one up the street, four doors from
the corner, that is much patronized by
heiresses seeking barons, dukes and earls
for their MENACE but we can't go into
that business. There isn't enough money
in it. You get a baron a place once and
it's for life. He never comes back, so
that a permanent trade in that line is
next to impossible to build up; whereas,
on the other hand, it's lazy cook and an
utterly hopeless mistress that doesn't pass
through this Office half a dozen times a
year. Good morning. Next!''
Heroic Patience.
Now was next, but I yielded up my
place. My household could have gone
without cook for forty years before
would have abandoned this opportunity to-
have chat with this strange nobleman
whom l now recognized as no less a per-
son that Hieronymus Carl Frederick.
Baron Munchausen of Bodenwerder, come
back to earth again in search of a share
OF that mavelous prosperity of which we
see such evidences every time one pro-
moter gets out his Ratchet and goes after
the scalp of his late partner, the other
promoter.
mo cooks for me this day with Baron
Munchausen in sight" l muttered as T
made my way out into the street in the
train of his eXeellency
Excuse me, Baron" said I. tappine
him gently upon his diaphanous shoulder.
Possibly L can be of service to you if
you are really in search of employment"
'AhH' he replied turning and scrutiniz-
ing me closely. And who, pray. NAV
ask, have l the honor of addressing?''
told him, adding that 1 believed he
was acquainted with an ancestor of mine
In Hades-an old fellow named Noah.
oh, indeed, said he cordially 'Why
yes, L know him. Very well. Fact is
he is an ancestor of mine, too, so that
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-11-22
BY John Kendrlck Bangs.

RNY TRIED and faithful cook, Bridget
I'VE Rafferty,, who had been with me for
ten long days, having left my employ
to become the wife of her third cousin,
Mr.. Patrolman Magginnis, of the Bronx
squad. l came to town the other day and
entered the intelligence Office of Mrs.
Bunkum, the famous domestic impresario,
In search of successor to the lady. Mrs
Bun<um keeps laundresses, cooks, kitchen
ladies and buffers on~tap, and so many of
these respective individuals have marched
from her office to my home and back dur
ing the last ten years that there is a worn
footpath between the two establishments
which is rapidly degenerating into a rut
AS 1 took my place on the waiting line
of the Would-be employers, my attention
was attracted to fine looking old gentle
man in the chair derectly ahead of me,
who seemed curiously out of place in that
atmosphere and, in so far as his cos
tune went strangely but picturesquelY
out of date. More singular still, however.
was that in whatever way he disposed of
himself in his chair, could distinctly see
through him. He was not quite so trans
parent as q pane of French plate glass,
but for translucency he was not to be
eXcelled.
Wonder who the deuce the old an
achronism is?' 1 muttered to myself as
endedV0red to recall where and when L
had seen his undoubtedly familiar feat
ures before. The scar upon his nose GER
tainly should have identified him at once,
but the only name that occurred to me in
an association of this idea with a person.
atty was that of Capt. Kidd, and this
chap surely was not he, for he wore no
fierce muStachios, nor were there in the
vicinity of his neck any of the chain
marks which, since certain interesting
climax in his career, must have been dis
tinguishing features in the physical make
up of the former pirate. Moreover, his
language, under the irksome restrain of
the long delay in getting through with the
business in hand, was not that of the bill
lowy main, but more suggestive of a GER
tain familiarity with the ways of polite
society. Finally my speculations were set
at rest by his divulgence to Mrs. Bunkum
of his identity.
"Wen," said that lady, glancing sharp
ly at him. "What is it you want this
morning, sir, cook, kitchenmaid, butler,
or what?''
Il don't want any of them, madame"
replied the old fellow with lordly bow
Il have come to seek employment, not to
give it. I have heard of the great OPP
portlnities on every hand in America''-
Great heavens!' cried Mrs. Bunkum.
What can you do? Butt?'
BEG pardon?" he returned, perplexed.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-11-22

chimney pots, which appeared to be
clogged up, was interested to observe
that the hole through which the house
had fallen was still open,, so 1 crawled
through, and here am"
1 gazed at him with open mouthed adj
miration. Here, indeed, was no impair
ment through age of those powers which
had originally won fame, if not fortune,
for old Hieronymus of Bodenwerder.
His Point of View.
s'Once here became much interested in
all that went on about me- he continued.
Il read all the newspapers 1 could find
and was amazed at the vast opportunities
for the sudden acquisition of wealth upon
every side of you Americans. 1t seemed
as if all one needed to become billion
aire was an abundance of nerve, a SAN
guine temperament and an imagination
unshackled by existing facts. With the
keen eye given to my kind I perceived
your magnates blowing the most beauti
full iridescent bubbles, for which they sup
piled the wind and the public the soap,
and which, when pierced left the mag
mates with the soap and the public with
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-11-22

We meet upon a common basis of rela-
tionship. I should judge that you are my
cousin. nine million, four hundred and
sixty three thousand, eight hundred and
twenty-seven times remove"
And here he leaped into one of his old
habits.
Come to think of it, he said, ttNoah
and were talking about you only last
Thursday night. We were wondering how
you We're. getting on, and were delighted
to hear from Elijah, who had recently re-
turned from town, that he had seen you
at one of his meetings at the Madison
Square Garden and that you seemed
we'll"
Ordinarily I take offense at liars, but
in this particular case / realized that it
was only in the interest of pure geniality
that the old gentleman had spoken with
out due regard for the precise truth. 1t
was simply to place me at my ease that
he had ventured the observation, and
naturally fell into his mood.
yes, I had quite pleasant time with
Elijah" I returned. 81 showed him the
town, and gave him a run out to Clare
mont in my automobile. He brought let
tiers of introduction to me from Noah,
and one of my earlier ancestors as we'll
a chap named Adam-and we hit it off re-
markedly well together
AS L finished this folderol the baron
glanced at me keenly and then with
short laugh extended his hand.
"Now / know we're related" he OBJ
served II can tell by the strawberry
mark of mendacity upon your soliloquy''
And from that moment we were fast
friends.
'How did you get here?" I asked.
up through the subway in Park ave-
nue. he answered. "That cavein there
some time ago filed the main streets of
Gehenna with Park avenue houses, one
of which, liking the general style of it's
architecture, 1 rented and occupied last
winter Having occasion last week to go
up on the roof to look after one Of the
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-11-22

seen, and noting the signals made by the
men in the boat she bore down on them.
1t was the White Star liner Adriatic, and
Passow went on board and told his mis-
sion to her commander. He begged him
to tow the City of Paris to Queenstown or
near enough to land to get another boat,
but the captain of the Adriatic said he
could not do so, as he had the royal mail
on board, and was not at liberty to tow,
but only to save life He did, however,
promise to make for the helpless steamer
and to stand by her until daylight, and
see what could be done. Did Passow and
his half-dozen heroes go back to their
steamer on the Adriatic? No. not a bit
of it. In spite of having been many hours
at their oars, and in spite of the hard
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-11-22
White House Ghosts.

White House Ghosts.
love to think of the gaunt form OF
Lincoln walking through these rooms
Theodore Roosevelt.
Shade of Lincoln-What is this 1 hear.
The recognition of seeding states? Why.
this can't be the White house I've got
into. This must be the British foreign
office and that young man in eyeglasses
must be Lord John Russen-New York
Evening Post.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-11-22

time they had experienced, they were
again put overheard, and started off at
once for the Irish coast, which they
reached safely, and communicated with
the proper authorities, who sent imme-
date relief
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-11-22

speaking, but when he speaks the per-
son spoken to knows that he has said
something. Captain" said lady pas
senger, soon after the pilot had gone
overheard off Sandy Hook, "do you
think will BIZ. able to make the 2:15
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1903-07-07
RecOllectiOns of the Past.
Duplin Co., N. G.

Dear Aunt Jennie:-It is of the
ante-bellum days in the "good old
colony tines that I wish to speak
of first and tell your readers of some
of the happenings of by-gone days
that passed under my own observa-
ton. For we'll do / remember when
"Uncle Billy" Sampson drove the
stage from Goldsboro to Raleigh,
and how the footing" of his long tin
trumpet resounded as he went to and
fro with two or four horses hitched
to his stage, loaded with passengers
and mail, while the North Carolina
Railroad was being completed to
Goldsboro. It was then, too, that
circuses, etc., travelled by private
conveyances, and would go from
place to place on the public road In
the night. We children would rise
early when Old John Robinson was
coming to Goldsboro to see the
elephants track, for we knew old
"Jumbo" would be there.
It was then that but little cotton
was made in the South, and farmers
we're prosperous and happy, making
their own 'hog and hominy." In
those days. 10000 corn hills were said
to be a "one-horse CROP" though
some planted more and some less to
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1903-07-07
Negro Life and Character During and
After Slavery.

Dear Aunt Jennie One of the
characteristics of the negro is his
imitativeness. / have noticed that
in most things they try to do like
their white neighbors. There is
but little superstition among them
no larger per cent than among the
whites. I heard one say not long
since, while several men were talk
ing of c~onjuring: 81 don't care
what they do to me just so they don't
get me to eat or drink something
that is not right" I remember nj
who used togeome to town occasion
ally and sit In his cart Che couldn't
walk) and tell fortunes with cards.
His customers were generally white.
When he died some of the people
said that they were actually glad
of it, for he had thezcountry around
him In a turmoil with his fortune
telling. A man would lose a hog
and would go to the fortune-teller
to find out who had stolen it, and
the old fellow would give him a
description of the thief, and then
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1903-07-07
Aunt Iennie,s Letter.

The letters this week are all inter
esting, but we miss the general con-
versational letters. Nobody is re-
quired to write on the subject under
discussion; remember that we should
be glad to have you write a letter
for the Chat and choose your own
subject. Some of the very best let
tiers We have ever published were
written on no special subject, but
treated of miscellaneous matters of
general interest.
Nellie tells us of the negro and
his societies. It is a most remark
able fact that the blacks are the
most faithful society members in
existence. / have known them to alb
stain from food in order to save
money enough to pay their society
dues. Insurance companies have
taken advantage of this fact and
have made large profits thereby. Ct
am depressing inthis, for / am not
allowing myself to talk of the sub
ject under discussion.)
You know that my letter last week
alluded to the Importance of improv-
ing and identifying country school
houses. This week I wish to call
your attention to the letter telling
of what has been done in one rural
community in Wake County. Hav-
ing attended service and several
social meetings In this house of
which Miss Alternately tells, it is
especially gratifying to me to note
the improvement already made.
What has been done at Eagle Rock
may be done at other places. Is
there neglected school-house in
your community9 IF so, can't some
body help to fix it up3 A leader is
needed. If some one will appoint
himself or herself and lead the way,
more will follow and the work will
be done before you miss the time.
AUNT JENNIE.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1903-07-07

he would fit the description to some
of his neighbors, and the trouble
would begin. I am glad to say that
this is the exception rather than
the rule.
I have seen lately several young
negro women wearing glasses for
which they had no earthly use.
They are just simply doing as they
see the white girls do.
The negro is looked upon as being
very improvident. I know several
women who have bought land and
built houses on it, who worked for
thirty cents a day. Think of it!
A preacher whipped his wife! The
whites didn't take any notice of it,
but the negroes had him indicted,
and he\ was tried in the Superior
Court and the judge let him off with
a small fine. Another did the same
thing, and when Sunday come he
found the church door locked, and
a few of the older members on the
outside who told him the best thing
he could do for himself was to leave
as quick as possible, and he left.
They did not want such preachers
as that.
In our little town they have a
society q don't know what they call
IT'D which has a very nice house for
their meetings. They look after a
member when sick and give them
decent burial when they die if they
are too poor. [ know of several
cases where the county would have
been called upon for help if it had
not been for the society. It is doing
good, and the members are faith
full.
I have given these items to show
that where the negro has a good ex-
ample set him by his white neigh
bors he is apt to follow, and vice
versa. Ny acquaintance is with the
country negro.
With love to Aunt Jennie,
NELLIE.
Duplin Co., N. G.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1903-07-07

Noah was leaning over the rail of
the ark, smoking his pipe contem-
platively, and waiting for the rain,
when a jeering neighbor came along.
"Well, Noah" said the neighbor,
'Ehave you got all the animals
aboard"
NO." he-replied. ave have no
mule. Dc you wish to engage pas
sage g"
And the next day it began to
cloud up.-Chicago Record-Herald
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1903-07-07
A Greater Need.

He (droning along)-"There are
various ways of testing a dia-
mond-"
She (petulantly)-"Pshawl Is
there any way of testing a man who
comes often to find out whether he
has any intention of giving a dia-
monde"
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1903-07-07
Mrs. Carlyle Once More.

Two large volumes serve to revive
the waning interest In the trials
and tribulations of Mr.. and Mrs.
Carlyle. The introduction by Sir
James Crichton-Browne, a special
ist in nervous diseases, amply
proves that Mrs. Carlyle suffered
from all manner of nervous mala-
dies-hysteria, neurasthenia, mel
ancholia. The letters are dreary
reading, but they do enforce two
lessons.
The first is that women ought to
be trained-as in babyhood one
trains girls to modesty-not to talk
or write about their own "symp-
TOMS"
There is scarcely an organ of her
body with which Mrs. Carlyle's let
tiers are not concerned. Stomach,
spine, head, throat, eyes, liver,-all
are treated with drugs and blisters
and poultices,-and the world is
asked to be present while the doses
are swallowed and the lamentations
applied and the nausea allayed.
The sordid story ought to serve to
seal the lips of every woman who
reads it, and to stay her pen when
ever she is tempted to speak or write
of her own ailments.
The other grim lesson in the dig
nifty of reserve is to be had in the
scores of instances where Mrs. Car
lyle lets her clever wit cry Havoc"
and dashes upon one or another of
her friends or acquaintance with a
singing epithet or a ranking sar-
casm. One gentleman 'has a face
not unlike a baboon"; another is
IAN arrant humbug'; a rich woman
is "an unleavened lump; dining at
the house of certain friends "is like
seasickness-one thinks at the time
one will never, never encounter it
again, and then the impression
wears off, and one thinks that this
time it will be more bearable." Even
a crowd of men and ome does
not escape the lash of her criticism.
One cannot help thinking how
George Eliot would have reflected
that these plain and Commonplace
people bear a conscience" and that
they have "their unspoken sorrows
and their sacred joys" and that there
IS "a pathos in their very insignif-
cance-in the comparison of their
dim and narrow life with the glori-
Gus possibilities of that human ma
ture which they share"
In short, the Letters" go to show
for the thousandth time that sweet
ness is better than cleverness, that
love lives longer than hate, and that
reserve and charity in a woman are
the very salt which keeps character
sound and good.-Youth's Com
panion.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1903-07-07

Ananias Apronstring Erecting the
Declaration)-Al men are created
free and equal
Kittie Kidder (interrupting)-
Yes; but lots of 'em get married.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1903-07-07

the horse, and some planted a little
tobacco patch for home use and
called it the Gam of the fence
Many of them made from 10000 to
10000 pounds of bacon yearly to
sell and to feed their families with,
as they made Goodies" of corn and
potatoes, and many of them owned
many slaves. I recall one man (Mr.
Atkinson), of Johnston County, N.
c., who owned more than he knew,
and he was also a large land owner,
his acres numbering well up into the
thousands in one body.
In our family were several old
negroes, and lots of little urchins of
all ages and sizes, but it is of one
of the old heads I now wish to
speak. His name was Tom Howell,
and a more faithful, honest negro
never existed than "Uncle Tom,0 as
he was familiarly called by every
body. He would tell fortunes (O
by looking in the palms of hands,
and he took great delight in using
"big words regardless of their
meaning, of which he was ignorant.
He was a typical Southern darkey,
of the real old-fashioned sort, and T
have often thought how different
would have been Mrs. Stoves
"Uncle Toms Cabin" had she taken
him and others of his ilk as her
model to draw from in her lucid CO
imagination as a writer of fiction.
Had she but known him ard his
young master" personally, she would
have been better prepared for writ
ing her book, for they were bred and
born Southern gentlemen.
IF your readers desire it, I will
give the names and numbers of
Northern States that were slave
holding States, and the periods when
slavery obtained, as soon as I can
read up a little.
The great war in which the South
fought for principle@and she was
right-came and ended unfortunate
" on one hand, and fortunately on.
the other, but if being a Southern
soldier made one a "Rebel," then I
am proud that I bear that honor,
though I, like Bill Arp, "killed as
many Yankees as they killed Of me-"
Then came the days of re-re-re-
construction, and though "war is
hell" we had a "little hell" right
here in the good Old North State
for a time, while Holden and Kirk
were running the machine, and it is
of one of their crew that Joe Turner
Ill.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1903-07-07
OUR SOCIAL CHAT

All letters Intended for this adspartuent
should be addressed to AUNT Jennie" care
or The Progressive Farmer Raleigh, NJ. @.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1903-07-07

"Tm Kurnel Clark of the State
melish;
I feel like Saul, the son of Kish!
Pm very proud of my high posish,
For Pm Kurnel of Holden's army
B. B. RAIFORD.
Mount Olive, N. G.