davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Tho Penurfous Carlyle.

IT is no drawback for n Christmas
gift to be useful as well as ornamental,
but there Is pathos in Carlyle's presen-
tation of Il washing table to his wife
at Christmas, 1850. At that time he
had long escaped poverty, but could
conceive no more pleasing gift than
this most unitarian article which he
promised in a note which the curious
may still read at his house in Cheyne
row:
The Prophecy Of a Washstand to the
neatest Of all Women. Blessings on her
honny face and be It ever blthets me, as
II is dear blithe or not T. CARLYLE
Dec. %, 1850.
This message appears to have oeen
written in a hurry, as if Carlyle, hear
Ing the clocks strike midnight, eXclalm-
ed: God bless my soul! It's Christ
mas day, JEANNE should have pres
ent. She spoke Of washstand the
other day. She shall have It." Ana
he forthwith penned the promise there
of. Anyway, he gave a five pound
note. and Mrs. Carlyle bought marble
and mahogany washstand. - Lonoon
Chronicle. -.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Formidable Preparations.

"Yassir." said Uncle Asbury, Use
got daughter in de high school,
81 suppose you are very proud OF
her"
deed l is An whuts mo- she's
gwine ter be a greet hep to her father.
She's studyin' geometry at de present
time, an she's sayin' dem lessons over
an over agin SOS kin hear EN-"
whats that fOr?'
"Well, sub, l allus was kind O anx-
tous to preach, but | nebber didn't hab
de words to stand de competition. Now
1 reckons when l STAINS up in front o
dat congregation an gifts to tellin' 'em
bout hypothenuSes an pahiellograms
dey's gwine to rise up an admit dat
dey's listenin' to language shO' huff"
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
The Earthly Facts.

A story told Of Lord Holt, who was
lord chief justice of England in the
eighteenth century, shows what dead
ly enemy to wild superstition a sense
of fact may be. 4 man presented him
self to Lord Holt and said;
"A spirit came to me from the other
world and told me that in your next
case you must enter plea of mol
pros. that is, refusal to prosecute.
Lord Holt looked at the man a mo
ment and then smiled.
'Do you believe that such a message
is wise for a human being to obey"
ut is absolute"
"And DO YOU believe that the messen'
ger had a full knowledge Of the law OF
England"
Eyes, and Of all law. BY following
this heaven given advice you will be
doing justice"
"Well, you tell your messenger If he
comes again that he should have sent
his message to the attorney general
The lord chief justice of England never
prosecutes, and If the spirit knew any
thing about the English law he would
know simple thing like that"
Youths Companion.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
FOUR MATCHED HORSES.
They Were CoIored Black, Just as
the Dealer Had said.


the Dealer Had Said.
Lord Mansfield. the famous lord chief
justice OF England, had bitter preJu-
dice against horse dealers. which, 1t Is
said had its rise in bitter disappoint-
ment he had experienced at the hands
of one of them When he was appoint
ed lord chief justice in 1856 he wished
to have four black horses without a
white hair for his carriage. After con-
siderable difficulty the four black
horses were found and approved, for
they were handsome horses and just
what the lord chief justice wanted.
The price. of course. was a heavy one;
1t always is under such circumstances.
For time all went well and his lord
ship was we'll satisfied with his bar
gain. Then one horse began to develop
a white star aud another a white fet-
lock and another Vas dshgured by a
white blaze-indecd, in al of them in
one place or another the hated white
appeared.
The Judge sent for the horse dealer
who had supplied the horses and
threatened him with all kinds of pains
and penalties. That worthy. however,
was not in the least pat out by the
wrath Of the noble lord. He insisted
that he had not misrcprcSented the
horses on his bill and pointed out on
that document being produced that he
had sold to his lordship four horses
colored black. This of course did
away with any legal proceedings. but
the incident was never forgotten by
Lord Mansfield. who was scarcely ever
known to give a horse dealer tie bene-
ht of the dOubt.-HOrSeman.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Mortffying Advice.

A federal ofiiceholder tells Of cam
paigning In Kentucky with another
stump speaker The latter thought to
make good impression in the famous
distillery town Of greensboro, and in
his speech there sounded the praises OF
whisky. "Why, gentlemen" said he,
81 have noticed in my reading Of his
tory and biography that all great men
drank liquor. tell you, whisky makes
men smart"
whats that?" said an old farmer
who was a noted teetotaler.
"Whisky makes men smart" reiter-
ated the orator, land l challenge de-
NAL"
Then" said the farmer, you'd bet
ter get couple of barrels and begin on
It at once"
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Concentrations Of Pastors.

In tie ministry service and salary
are not ccequal terms. The high office
was not created for the advantage Of
the holder. and the calling is degraded
into a mere profession when it is made
the subject Of money equivalents. The
work Of the ministry is more especial
ly in the realm Of the moral and spir-
itual and therefore can never be 'finan-
cially compensated in any exhaustive
commercial sense" Nevertheless the
minister adapted by conduct and learn
ing to his high calling ordinarily does
have and should have salary proper
Tomato to the demands of the field he
is filling and cOmpensatiOns far more
satisfying and worthy of consideration
than notwithstanding.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Reeds Picture of DingIey

st. Clair McKelway, editor Of the
Brooklyn Eagle, once asked Thomas b.
Reed why he made Nelson Dingley
chairman of ways and means. He re-
piled: "Some men would like to sit in a
sumptuous parlOr with young, lovely
and cOQuettish girl and be pettcd by
her. You and wouldn't do it. but we
would like it. Now, Dingley in prefer
ence to doing that would be happier
sitting on the bottom of an upturned
bucket, in the darkest corner Of a deep
cellar, at midnight, with only the light
Of stump candle by which to cipher
out on rough brown paper the proper
schedules for tariff bill. That is why
| wanted him for chairman Of ways
and MEANS"
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
BOSTON hARBOR FROZE.
But That Didn't Keep the Britannia
From Sailing on Time.


Boston harbor froze over I'm January
of 1874, and the advertised sailing of
the Britannia, then in dock, seemed
surely to be impossible. But the mer-
chants of Boston would not have it so.
They met and voted to cut n way, at
their own expense, through the Ice,
that the steamer might sail practically
on time. The contract for cutting the
necessary channels was given to mer-
chants engaged, like Frederick Tudor,
In the export Of ice, not from the
harbor. Their task was to cut within
the space of three days, channel
about ten miles long. For tools they
had the best machinery used in cutting
fresh water ice, and horsepower was
employed. The ice was from six to
twelve inches in thickness. As the Ad-
yertiser Of Feb. 2, 1874, described the
scene: "a great many persons have
been attracted to our wharfs to wit
ness the operations and the curious
spectacle of the whole harbor frozen
over, and the ice has been covered
by skaters. sleds and even slcighs.
Tents and booths were erected upon the
ice. and some parts of the harbor bore
the appearance Of Russian holiday
scene" On Feb the work was done,
and the Britannia, stcaming slowly
through the lane of open water, lined
on either side by thousands of cheering
spectators, made her way to the sea-
NJ. A. DeWolfe Howe In Atlantic
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
DUMAS AND HIS BARBER.
Origin Og the Practice of Speculate
In. ~ Thcater Tickets.

In. ~ Thcater Tickets.
The practice OF specializing in thea
ter tickets, strange rs it may appear,
was started by the elder Dumas. lie
pauonlzed Il Paris barber named Por-
cher. and one day this worthy while
shaving the novelist asked him why he
did not sell the tickets given him by
the managers of the theaters where
his plays were produced.
"To whom could sell them?" asked
the author of the Three Musketeers."
"Why, to me, if you like replied Por-
cher. And what would you do with
thcm?" asked Dumas. That's my
business replied the barber, contin-
uinS to lather the bronzed face Of the
famous story teller.
"But l give you tickets whenever you
ask for Them" said Dumas. "Ah! One
or two are not sufficient for my pur-
pose" responded POrchcr. Il must
have all your tickets, and every day
too" And you will pay for them|
said the dramatst. Cash" was the
simple yet practical reply.
Dumas at that moment was very
badly in need of money, so he at once
concluded the bargain. Porcher, who
shortly after this gave up shaving and
cutting hair. made similar bargains
with other authors and quickly became
rich.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21

Shortly after the publication Of Ten.
nyson's famous poem, "A Vision OF
SIM" the laureate was somewhat star
tied to receive from Mr. Babbage, the
renowned arithmetician, letter which
ran as follows
Dear Sir-I find in a recently published
poem from your pen, entitled "a Vision
Of SIM" the following unwarrantable
statement:
Every moment dies a man,
Every moment one is born"
I need hardly point out to you that this
calculation. if correct, would tend to keep
the sum total of the worlds population In
a state of perpetual equipoise, whereas i;
is a well known fact that the said sum
total is constantly on the increase. ]
would therefore take the liberty Of sug-
costing that in the next edition Of your
excellent poem the erroneous calculation
to which l refer should be corrected as
follows:
Every moment dies a man
And one and a sixteenth is born.
may add that the exact figures are 1167.
but something must Of course be conceded
to the laws of meter. I have the honor to
be, sir, yours, sincerely c. BABBAGE.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Writing on Metals.

Take a quarter of a pound of nitric
acid and half an ounce of muriatic
acid. Mix, shake well together, and II
Is ready for use. Cover the place you
wish to mark with melted beeswax
When cold, write your inscription
plainly on the wax with a sharp instru-
ment to clear the metal. Then apply
the mixed acids with feather, care
fully filling each letter. Let it remain
from one to ten minutes according to
appearances desired, then throw in
water which stops the process, and re-
move the wax.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21

The western branch Of the kennebeC
has been given the name Dead river
because in 1775 it was full OF drowned
soldiers. So one may read. But there
is not a syllable of truth in it. And the
next picture conjured up by the name
n dolefuI Styx, turbid and miasmatic
is equally false The plain fact Is that
the river flows for long distance
through meadows, and unless the wa
fer IS high it scarcely seems to move
at all. That is why it has been called
dead. Nothing gloomy belongs to the
name. \ delcctGble and captivating
stream IS Dead rlver.-Century.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Christmas Declared Illegal.

Although 1t may seem incredible, 1t IS
a fact that not so many years ago
Christmas was considered a supersti-
tious festival and was stopped being
held by the strong hand of the law
Holly and mistletoe were destroyed
and were called 1.-The plants Of the evil
one" Cakes and wines were consid-
cred impious by the supersttious.
When Oliver Cromwell was protect
or. he ordered all the most important
towns in England not to observe
Christmas, as he considered it to be a
hurtful custom.
Yet a stricter law he commanded to
be kept so that people might forget
Christmas. That was that all the mar
kets were to be held on Dec. %.
Naturally this created a great stir
among the country folk, and they de-
termined thenceforth to refuse to obey
his strict and extraordinary law, which
he tried to enforce, but all to no pur-
nose
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
An EnpIe'H Strength.

What tremendous power an eagle ex-
erts when carrying away lamb that
weighs, say. sixty pounds or over. If
you take the weight Of the bird togeth-
er. seventy-six pounds, then it appears
that an eagle can develop more
than two horsepower and must put
a strain of over LOO pounds on the
muscles of the wings, which leads one
to think that birds are stronger than
mathematics"
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
.t..& REELFOOT LAKE.
It's Great sunkcn Forest and the
Game with which II Abounds.


Mississippi river shooting is varied
with trips TO the sunken lands, which
begin near Hickman. KY, and extend
south several hundred miles on both
sides of the river This territory was
covered with dense forest Of large
trees before the land was submerged
by the earthquake Of 1911. On the
Tennessee side Reelfoot lake, eighty
miles long. was formed. Reelfoot lake
is only three miles from the river at
Upper Slough Landing and the same
distance at Tiptonville, Tenn. The
dense forest is still standing. The
limbs and bark have rotted and
dropped off years ago, leaving the
bleached trunks standing like marble
columns i'm water sixty feet deep, so
close together that it is difficult to move
a skiff among them. Some have rotted
off mt the water level, and others are
hollow. making good blinds. The fight
Of wild fowl on Reelfoot lake Is beyond
the comprehension Of the average
sportsman. There are ducks, geese,
cormorants, called water turkeys;
cranes, water hens and snipe. They
all keep up a chatter which makes the
sunken forest ring. From the tops Of
the trees eagles hawks and owls con-
tribute piercing screeches to the con-
tinuous din.-Outing.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Seeing Snakes.

Persons suffering from delirium tre-
mems usually imagine that they are
surrounded 10y snakes. An explanation
of this hallucination, says the Family
Doctor, is offered by the result of some
recent experiments. Sixteen alcoholic
patients were examined wiki the oph-
kaleidoscope, and it was found that the
minute blood vessels in the retina Of
their eyes were congestcd. In this con-
dition they appear black and are pro
jec.od into the field Of vision. where
their movements resemble the sQuirm-
inc of ScrDontS.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
The Ruling Passion.

A good woman was dying, woman
who had been a true wife and loving
mother. a woman with but one weak
ness-a love of gossip.
Although her time on earth was
short. she was critically watching the
attending physician and the nurse as
they talked in subdued whispers of the
result which their united skill had been
powerless 10 avert.
In response to the summons OF the
dying woman her husband approached
her and bent low to catch the words
which he expected to be words of love
Again she turned her eyes, from which
the light was fast fading, upon the doc
tor and the nurse as she said family
do you suppose they are engagedT
These words were her last
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
4 Ready Answer.

Not all visitors to the country are as
ignorant Of the farmers surroundings
as the farmers sometimes suppose.
Browning's Magazine gives this in
stance:
WAL" said Farmer wilkins TO his
city boarder. who was up early and
looking round, ben out to hear the
haycock crow, s'pOse.' And he wink
ed AT his hired man.
NO" replied the city boarder; "Ive
been out tying a knot in a cord of
wood"
Farmer Wilkins scowled at the hired
man and wanted to know why he was
not getting 10 work at milking those
cows
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
A Touching Consent.

The Youth-Sir, l came to ask your
consent to my marriage with your
daughter.
The Old Man-Is your income suf6-
Client TO support wife?
The Youth-It is, and in addition to
that it is sufficient to enable me to
stand an occasional touch from my
Wife's father.
The Old Man-Say no more, young
man. She's yours. Bless you, my son.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21

Writers Whose Works Are Unread.
With care and precision the journal
clerks of the senate prepare the daily
chronicle of the senate's doings. They
are proud Of their achievements, and
Justly so. It is a cause Of sore disap-
pointment to the makers Of that jour
nal when some thoughtless senator,
eager for the mornings business,
moves to suspend with the further
reading.
Other clerks around the desk enjoy
the joke and when the proceeding is
concluded repeat in an undertone from
man to man:
Another insult" Washington Post.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
RoueGts From Running.

Running is the great beautifier of fig
ure and movement 1t gives muscular
development, strong heart action and
free lung play. The muscle comes
where it ought to be, the shoulders go
back, the loins hold the trunk well bal
anced. and the feet take their correct
positions. It was running which made
the Greek figure. The more active
tribes of American Indians have been
runners from time immemorlal, and
from the chest to the heels they are
much more beautifully built than the
average Of white men. Running peo-
pie have usually the firm but elastic
texture which is the beauty of flesh.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21

Some poet wrote the following:
LONG is that morn that brings no
eve; tall is the corn that no cObs leave;
blue is the sky that never looks yeller;
hard is the apple that never grows
meller; but longer and bluer and hard
er and tall is my own ladylOve-my
adorable Poll" =. S.-The author mas
since died in great agony.-LondOn
Tit-RitS
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Roll Butter.

The young housekeeper who told the
fishman that she wanted some cells ant
when he asked her how much replied
About two yards and a half" has
rival.
81 wish to get some butter, please,
she said to the dealer.
"Roll butter, ma'amT he asked po
litely.
mo. We wish to eat it on toast. We
se,dom have olls."-Chicago News.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21

Mrs. New Wed-You don't like the
dumplings Harry? Why, made them
from Mrs. SnOrer's cook book.
Mr.. New Wed-Well, my dear, the
book itself may be very palatable, but |
must have been helped to a piece OF
the cardboard cover.-New York Times
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Dangerous Experiment.

A man in Rocks county was kicked
bv n mule and knocked unconscious
while trying to feed his mules In new
way. He says that the first thing he
heard when he regained his senses was
his wife saying. well. I'll thank COD
when he can't find any new expert
ments TO try Oh them mules."-Kansas
City journal.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
A Change Of Front.

Wife-Hcw do you like my new hatf
Husband-The idea of paying big
prices for >.
Wife-Big prices Why, / made 1t
myself.
Acknowledgements 1 was
saving. the idea of paying big prices
for such monstrosities as the milliners
are showing. Now. your hat Is WORK
Of art. Looks as If it came straight
from Paris. Beautiful, my dear!-Lon-
don Telegraph.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21

ST" Stops for passengers on signal
or notice to conductor.
SC" Stops only to let of passengers
from Cape Charles and points South,
and take on passengers for points
North of Delmar.
SD" Stops only to let off passen-
gers from points North OF Delmar,
and take on passengers for Cape
Charles and points South.
Trains OF and 80 will step at all
stations on Sunday for local passen-
gers, ON signal or notice to conductor.
r. B. Cooke, j. 6. Rodgers,
Traffic Manager, Supt.
Norfolk, Va. Cape Charles. We
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
SinlDIe.

The DOctcr-A queer case of insanity
came under my notice the other day.
The fellow is perfectly sane as long as
anybody is looking at him. but raves
violently when his friends quit watch
ing him.
The PrOfessor-Humph. Out of sight,
out of Chicago Tribune.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
She Wouldn't Make Trouble.

She was not one Of these trouble
making women. In fact, she had the
greatest contempt for people Of that
kind. She said so herself.
"And she spoke of you, too" she said,
in telling a friend Of a call she had
made.
"What did she say?"
ooh, I'd rather not tell you, dear.
There's no use making trouble, you
w."-ChicagO Post.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Forever Mt Him.

Newitt-Funny, | always associate
your wife with certain episode In my
own life. There's just one thing she al
ways reminds me Of
Henpeck-I wish ! could say that
There's lots Of things she always re-
minds me of.-Philadelphia Press.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
FaiIed to Recognize It.

"He sent copy Of his dialect story
down into the country where he stud
led the dialect"
"And did it make the natives an
gry?"
ooh, no; they couldn't understand it. "
Chicago Post.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
GfvfnU AufhOrity.

A worthy parson. on being accused
of cribbing, owned to IT eheerfully, but
added naively, Il always acknowledge
the fact by raising two fingers at the
opening words, and two fingers again
at the end of the borrowed matter, to
indicate quotation marks"
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
APPRECIATION.

"How did you like the music at the
symphony concert"
Mrs. Torque and got into such
discussion about its beauty and tech
nc that l really hadn't a chance to lis
ten to t."-BaltimOre Herald.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Sill In the Family.

Jack-My grandfather had fine col
lection Of silver, which he bequeathec
to my father on condition that it should
always remain in the family.
Ethel-Then you have it still?
hJack-Well-er-Ny uncle has It,
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
She Furnished bulletins $.

"Their marriage was a surprise,
wasn't it,"
"WeN, his friends were surprised,
but I believe beF friends were expect
ing it."-Brooklyn Life,
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
A Trn hIe Memory.

Il see you don't remember me, sir"
mo, sir; don't"
"I'm Binks. owe you $50"
"Ahi Now that you mention the-ah
sum, l remember you perfectly
Detroit Free Press.
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21

1t is a great deal easier to teach an
old dog new tricks than it is to make
him forget his old ones
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
After the Expulsion.

Eve--Im 80 SOlry.
Adam-TOO bad! 1t was Il fools par
adiSe!- Smart Set
Peninsula enterprise. [volume] (Accomac, Va.) 1881-1965, 1903-02-21
Save You From $500 to $4,000
Sent ON Trial.

any the above named Pianos or organs 10 any p
Carolina with freight advance will without any adVanc
freight give fifteen days to test the Piano. ano
up representation will sell 1t to you Tor cash or
made by Is fully WARRANTED
100000.