davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12

and succeed a s
Pulitzer has done.
It isn't true.
Of course the
case Of Mr.. Hearst
was different. He
had money to be-
6 i n with and
spent, according to
current estimate,
something like 3d.
100000 upon the
Journal before he
judged it safe to
begin economic
ing. Another man,
more quietly is
doipu uyhot tho
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
Purely Business.

HOtspur-See here! I understand you
said you'd be glad to lay out my friend
jerks if you got chance.
Berriam-Thats my business.
Hotspur-It is, Ell? Do you know the
poor fellow is dead?
Berriam-Yes; I'm en- undertaken
Philadelphia Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
despairingly.

'The ragged edge of what?"
''The ragged edge Of my collar" he
replied, and the way he WINGED when
he tried to move his head showed her
that he spoke truly. So, being wise
woman, she changed laundries.-Chi-
cago Post.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
That Ends 1t.

Il suppose" remarked Miss Cent?
mentle, that since Mr.. Bravely saved
her life, she will think of him as her
hero all the rest Of her life.''
oh, no." replied Mr. Practical, "she
married him last week"
Commercial Tribune.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12

Mrs. Allow are you getting on with
your new housemaid?
Mrs. Bob, she's improving right
along. Why, yesterday she only broke
three glasses and one parlor ornament,
and this morning she only smashed my
sons bicycle, trying to ride it in the
hall.--Brooklyn Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12

Uncle William, papa said nice
thing about you yesterday"
did he, Alice? That was clever of
him. What cid he say?"
Mamma said it was a pity you were
so fat, but papa said it was a blessing
in disguise, because you were spared the
unhappiness of seeing how poorly your
trousers always fitted" -Chicago Trib-
une.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
Johns Mishap.

A Chinaman once lost his queue,
And he didn't know what to Queue:
He searched here and there
And almost everywhere,
But it never came to his vueue.
Chicago Daily News.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12

Not CharEed.

Pardon me-" said the smiling custom
er, but is this mineral water charged 2"
Not any," replied the fair girl at the
counter; "you pay the cashier" -Balti-
more News.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12

he ever saw him,
how to present his
trivial. happening
SO that it would be
worth printing
and that art a
school of journal
ism can teach.
Copy is turned
in at the "desk"
in New York by
highly paid repor-
ters in worse
shape than IN any
other city in the
country. T h 6 S e
same copy-readers
are in part reSpOn-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
'TWaS Ever Tins.

1t is woman, lovely woman,
Drawing with a silken thread,
That makes poor deluded man
Think he leads while being led.
-Cincinanti ENQUIRER
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
What Then5

''Woman's queer creature" said the
bachelor. when she will she will and
that's all there is about it."
But" remarked the youth, who had
hoped to be married, sometimes she
merely says she will. Philadelphia
Press
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
Friends Worth Having.

Fred-Well, old chap, it's all settled.
I'm going to marry Miss Willing next
month, and I want you to act as best
man.
Joe-You can count on me, my dear
boy. 1 never desert friend when mis-
fortune overtakes him.-Cincinnati En-
quirer.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
GOOD SHOCK HOLDER.
Convenient Little Arran cement That
Will Be Found Of Great Use
Every Farm.

A device for holding shock while
being tied. Take broom handle, saw
foot off, Bore a hole in one end,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
As Suggested.

81 wonder If man is really made OF
dust?" unused the first dear girl
81 don't know" replied dear girl No
2, "but the one you marry should be
made of gold dust. "-Cincinnau En-
Quirer.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12

English, studied law, went for time
to the Missouri legislature, was Wash
ington correspondent of the New York
Sun, which few years later SO bit
terly and unsuccessfully fought him,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
Tn to Date Motto.

do you know that Mrs. Bickers has
made three attempts to elope, all I'M
successful?"
Indeed? Her motto seems to be,
If at first you don't succeed, fly, fly
again. Town Topics.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
A Conjecture.

Ciara-Have you seen Miss Passay's
fiance? Where on earth did he come
from?
Ethel-Possibly he came in answer to
an isement-BrOOklyn Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
The Latest.

"Have you heard Of Gobang's latest
fad?"
mo. What is ne doing now?"
collecting breakfast foods. He has
tabulated 200 varieties, of which fully
one-third are edible IN Y. Times.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
NEW YORK PAPERS
The World and Mr.. Pulitzer's Gift
to Columbia University.
JOURNALISTS TO BE TRAINED
Why the Big Newspaper Is n Hard
Place for the BeSinner-How MT.
Pulitzer Succeeded - Ochs
and New York Times.

New York-Joseph Pulitzer's SPLEEN
did gift of 100000 to Columbia Uni
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
Natural Question,

Mr.. Softnut-What a lot of wubbish
people do talk! Why, when was young
they used to say that if I didn't leave
off drinking and smoking I should be-
come idiotic
Mr.. Hardnut-Why didn't you leave
them off, then?-Stray Stories.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12

The Tyranny of the Blue Pencil.
This tyrant Of the blue pencil could,
II he had time, tell the young writer, if
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
Twas Ever Thus.

Bl1nker-That young friend of yours
seems to be rather pessimistic
Clinker-Yes, poor fellow! He's an
amateur photographer
Bllnker-What's that got to do with
it?
Clinker-Why, his views of life are
naturally poor-Chicago Daily News.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12

Henri-f kissed you, would you give
it away to your father?
Marie-Of course not! What would
he want with your kisses?-La Vie Pa
risienne.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
FOR HOLDING A SHOCK.


pass rope through the hole The
rope should be about the length of the
Irvine. At the outer end of the rope
fasten ring just big enough to slip
over the stick easily.-Ed F. Milliken,
in EpitOmist.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
Getting Back at Him.

She--This is a very pleasant express
sion you have in this picture. l suppose
the photographer told you to look pleas
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12

He-No; he didn't have to; l wasn't
married then.-Yonkers Statesman
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12

The System and the Man.
If any man might be excused for
thinking experience the proper school
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12

Ochs and the New York Times.
They say that no one could come to
New York nowadays without money
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-09-12
SensatiOna1iSm and Principle.

The World has been accused of SEN
sationalism until recently. Now 9TH
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30
PILGRIM JOE
He Meets Up With a hustiins Woman and . Resurrscted Man

Copyright, 1903. by c. B. Lewis.l Y LEFT the town of Slim Hopes while
 the dew was yet sparklin' on the
 grass and headed for Big Chance
 with my heart beatin' joyously to the footsteps of my old hoss. As pii- grim travelin from afar had sootbed and comfortcd, as tintypist l had taken a hundred pictures at 10 cents Ii take, as the owner of a race hoss and q fghtin' dog l had won thirty big dol lars, and as the inventor and proprietor of the celebrated and only liver cure I had disposed of three dozen bottles at 30 cents apiece. It would have beeu selfish in me not to have a song in my heart as l driv' onward with all nature gay around me. s~- l had purceeded about four miles on my way when I met up with a female who was headed tother-way. Owin' to her face she was not purty to look up- on, and owin' to her shape she was not Venus in the front row. I noted these things while she was still some rods distant, but with my usual kindness of heart and gentleness of soul l stopped my outfit ard bowed my brow to her and said:
 Female, l greet thee and wish thee well.-
 "The same to you, old socks,' she re- piled, with a smile that made her mouth foot wide.
 "Whither goest thou at this early hour, if may be so boldT' "Fm strollin to'rds Big Chance with the hope of meetin' critter on the way"
 | "A critter of man" | "The same"
 And should you meet a critterT | Look here, old man." she said as she rested one fcot on the hub of front wheel, "l am out here in this territory | of Oklahoma to hustle for bizness. It's either hustle or git left, and Hammer Snow alters keeps up with the purces- sion. Up to yesterday I had an old man. He wasn't any great shakes, but sorter fairish."
 And somethin' happened to his boundin' speerits?" queried.
 ''Somethin' did. In his absent minded i way ne picked up nosS DeiOnSln tc mother man, and crowd overlook him and hung his boundin' speerits to limb. They made widder woman of me in cen minits after they got hands on him. You needn't work ur any words of sympathy nor squeeze out any tears of sorrer.''
 But I may al least trust that your late companion is better off?'
 You may if you want to. but that won't help him any. Mebbe it so hap pens that you are a widder man?"
 ."rhe sharer of my joys died ten years ago" Iszzeaz.s-S;s&aasE' Iszzeaz.-ss Es&~aasE' VI
 And you look like a purity good man. That cock eye and bumped nose don't help your beauty any. but Tn no angel myself. I'm the owner of g
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30

sss the ground for sours. That isn't all, however. I've reached home to ind my old woman gone. I'm fearin' she's con- mitted suicide
 "Was she a sawed of woman with a breadth of shoulders and a size of sectY'
 'She was"
 "Wouldst say that her face resem- bled the Madolnaf"
 As nigh as l can remember 1t did, and she had a mouth and freckles to spare. IL must be that you met her ou the highway as you come along? Speak and relieve my burnin anXieties." ""Twas her l met
 And sine thought me gone henceT "She was sure of ;t"
 And, thinkin' thus, did she-shS'N-. he stammered.
 'She did. but cast back her love and her heart" I replied. and if she didn't overtake tue fool traveller she was pursuin' when 1 driv' on. you are still her husband and boss of the roost. Cheer up, feller mortal. There is hope for thee"
 "Durned if there ain't," he said as he took my hand and pressed it in grat- itude, and then set out to find his old woman and bring her back to the fold
 NJ. QUAD.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30
FAST RUTOnOB|L|NG. Tho Sport Carried Too Far.

first some of the cities tried to keep 1t out of the parks, which soon failed. Some people would restrain its use from certain streets; that, too, will be unavailing.
 Common sense must decide, as it always has to decide in matters of this kind. For a while the laws will vary and conflict, but in the end there will be a compromise which will yield the largest good to the majority.
 -Fity thousand automobiles are now kn use in the United States. Fifteen hundred are being added to this number every month. They are carrying people, delivering goods, performing the missions of recreation and business. :. They take owners to their offices, and they have crossed the continent An automobile trip to the North Pole has been seriously suggested.
 The practical point is that the machines may become cheaper after the present demands are filled. Once the bicycle sold for $50 To- day it figures in bargain sales. It may be that way with the horseless carriage.
 When the average wage-earner can afford his automobile he will get more out of life. Just now he feels bitterly against the machine because the few reckless drivers have made it unpopular, but, if he looks ahead bit, he will appreciate the wisdom of giving it fair treat ment in the making of road laws. for the time will come when these laws will affect his own interests. Entering into this spirit of fair ness, the automobilist should not ask more than IS required for the safety of the road. More than that is not only general danger, but an injustice that cuts deeply into the sentiment which has fought for the freedom of the highways ever since civilization began.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30

To break the record is the mad deeaze sof shnznan6nd, and this has been the greatest record-breaking year in the worlds history.
 Leading the race is the automo- bile A racer over a perfect stretch of road in England reached ssA miles per hour, and, even more remarkable than that, Barney Old field, the American expert, drove a machine around an oval track a mile in several seconds less than a minute .
 Already the automobile has over taken the locomotive.
 The road engine IS even with the rail engine
 And its speed is only in its be- ginning, for autonobiling looks forward to 100 miles an hour as an easy certainty. That is Mir. Oldfeid's prediction, and he does not set his limit at g century mark. We shall soon have prophets who will want the automobile to make a mile in 3G seconds.
 In the meanwhile, automobiles are increasing by the thousands. The factories are turning out new machines daily, and new factories are being built and old factories are being enlarged. There never was anything like it.
 The bicycle craze swept thecoun- try, but the automobile craze is far more intense and far more sure of being permanent. Nothing but the flying machine can displace OF dis courage it.
 For those who have machines or who intend getting machines this nniversaiity means that they must be allowed to do about as they please on the roadways, and that those who d0 not have machines or who do not intend to get machines must get out of the way,
 But there are two sides to this question, c
 Let Us go back 8 little.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30

Roads are for all the people. When they were first established there were no favorites. Every body walked on equal terms and with equal safety. The few did not have the rights. The roads were for the many.
 But as civilization brought its inventions and it's new modes of transportation conditions changed.
 Then the many had to fight to keep the few from monopolizing the advantages.
 That fight has come through the centuries, and it will go on through all time.
 We had trouble keeping the bi- cycles where they should be-they even wanted to crowd the pave ments and the footpaths. Special laws protecting the footpaths had to be passed.
 Trolley lines came and tried to grab the highways. They sought the property of the people without paying for it, and most people wish they had kept them off the roads even when they do pay for their franchises.
 Now the automobile is the worst grabber of all. There is no con- ceaiment of it's intention. Read the papers devoted to the machines and you wall find articles every week advising all automobilists to get on the right side of the politi- clans so as to obtain more liberal jaws in the matter of velocity.
 They want to run without regard 10 safety. IR their enthusiasm they call those who oppose them as mossbacks and dulIards; say they are opposed to progress, and that, as the automobile has come to stay, if is no use to try to keep it within bounds.
 Those who do not own automo- piles and who object te flying en- zines on the roads, which belong to
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30

all, also feel strongly upon the mat ter. Some of them are aroused to the fighting point. For instance, the other day the farmers in a sec ton near Chicago held a meeting after particularly disastrous acci- dent from a break-neck perform ance of an automobile, and decided to carry shotguns in their wagons and to shoot if the automobil its persisted in their speed madness and in frightening horses and in turing women and children.
 Impartial judges from the bench have condemned the racers on the public roads as being little less than 'narderers.
 In citras the problem comes up daily in the police courts and Tn the hospitals.
 Women. children, old people ali kinds and classes-suffer. There Is new fear-the fear of the fool in the racing engine let loose on the public thoroughfares.
 No wonder there Is an acute feel ing of resentment against the auto mobile. Its racing fools are re- sponsible.
 The roads still belong to the peo- pie, and, so long as they value the safety of their families, they are going to fight for the few privileges they have left.
 It is not fight against prog ress-it is plain, sensible, neces- sary measure of protection.
 At the same time we must fully and fairly recognize the fact that the automobile is permanent thing. Ii is a wonderful addition to the comfort, convenience and proper use of the world. Ii gives health and it saves time, and it IS one of the best agents that man has ever devised for pleasure and business.
 To attempt to confine it by pet ty laws is the height of folly. At
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30

SHE WAS CHASIN THE FOOT TRAVELLER
 ACROSS THE PRAIRIE. claim wnth a thousand dollars, and my temper is sweet and my health good. Do you wish to call me your ownT
 Its thing that needs thinkin' over," says I.
 Then think" says she.
 How long II you give meT
 "While count fifty"
 That's too sudden. While I have no doubt that you are my affinity and l am yours and that Providence brung us together for our future happiness. you'll excuse me for rejectin' your lseart and hand and tackle the man comin' up behind"
 ''Then you won't have me?' she asked.
 wen put it that I promised the companion of my bosom never to mar " ag'in. But for that promise"-
 "All right. old pilgrim; no harm done" she clipped in as she started off, and three minits later she was chasin' the foot traveller across the. prairie and gainin' on him at every jump. .... Two miles farther on I came to rod house on the prairie and dejectcd man sittin' before it. I called Gut cheerily to him. as it gives me a pan to see the human heart cast down. aud whcp he did not answer me got dow and approached him and soothiu ly said:
 "Feller mortal, why this sorrer and dejection? Confide thy troubles to me and let ne soUthe thee"
 Took at this neck" says he as he lifts his head for the first time.
 ''Is it made of rubber, that it can he drawn out to such extraordinary length? It seemeth three feet long" And it feeleth six. Durn 'em, but they hung me yesterday!'
 "Who eiid fnr whatT'
 "A crowd of feIlers, and because had a hoss with me couldn't account for. Yes. they hung me but after tiiey bad departed the rope broke, and luy
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30
some Men Have such Luck.

Fortunate chap, that Dunkley," be remarked. They say the girl has a million in her own right. l wonder how he ever caught herT'
 T believe" she replied, that he happened by lucky chance to reeog- nize a photograph which had been fixed up by skillful retoucher as a picture of her without even needing 8 second guess. The picture was really very beautiful. ul."-Chicaso Record Her RId
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30

ago, and that we have shown our cowardice by not answer ing his note. It was the chal- lenSe that never came. If it had been received we should not have waited to button our suS- penders before keeping the ap- pointment. We wish people who send us such notes would be more careful. It is not our wish to skip any thing thatcome along.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30
Ills Rrirhf ThnuCIIf-

They stood in the darkness, hand in hand, looking out into the night
 Dearest" said she sadly, what does it make you think as you look out into the illimitable spaceY
 Why, you know" said he. smiling thoughtfully down at her, 'T always think that with so much space there ought to be room enough for every body. Journal
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30
Useful Hints,

Many summer cottagers nave had tn experience of refractory lamp whici. persists in smoking in spite of all CT. forts of reform. Sometimes the evil can be cured by soaking the wick iI strong vinegar and drying it thorough ly before returning it to the lamp. Soap rubbed on complaining door hinge will silence its nerve wearing .sf.;iE
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30
Cause and Effect

Teacher was telling the class about the collar bone, and little Lucy's chub- by hand went up to ask permission to speak
 'T know, teacher" she lisped-T know what people has when they break the collar bone-they has the cholera n,Orbusr'-New York Times.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30
Necessarx fo a ChnIce

The Husband - Do you think. n dear, that all this so called culture, these fads, these lectures and ethical and philosophical movements of yours really do you any good?
 The Wife-Incalculable good! Why, every day live I appreciate more and more fully what an insignificant crea- ture man isi-Life,
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30
Rice Water.

In Persia no one thinks of throwing away the water in which rice is cook ed It is used in the preparation Of tomato sauce, in stewing prunes. apri- cots and other fruits and for various culinary purposes.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30

our week for ly HE hl'hE" hDi io"' ing about the circulation of the Kicker, but we simply announce that 1t now exceeds the combined circulation of ey- erything printed on the face of the earth How we manage to supply the demand on one Washington hand press is a thing other people must figure out for themselves.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30

It is hard work to make either tar or shoeblacking take the place of print CTS ink in printing a newspaper, but our esteemed contemporary is still ex- perimenting in that direction.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30
peIicions Coffee sherhet.

\ sherbet of coffee. if rightly made, Is quite delicious. To a quart of coTe, rdd a quart of heavy cream and twe.vc ounces of sugar with a few drops of vanilla essence. Then put this fin a freezer with salted ice. keep tEe sides free as fast as the ice begins to cling md when it has reached the proper Itage serve in small glasses.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30
4 Very Pretty Dessert.

For raspberry or blackberry pudding broad strips and spread thick on one Eide with the fruit, sugared if neces- sary, or with jam. Put one over the other in log cabin pattern, and cover with a rich custard. Then beat the whites of the eggs stiff with as many tablespoonfuls of sugar, flavor with lemon and heap high over the whole.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30

Ex-Judge Scott insists that he sent us a challenge to fight duel over a month
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30
THE ARIZONA
 KICKER
It. Editor Gives His Patrons Some .n-
 tere|t;nS News.
ICopyright. 1903. by c. B. Lewis.l

ICopyright. 1908, by c. B. Lewis.l ~HERE are eleven quack doctors,
 fifteen shyster lawyers and
 forty cases of humps raging
 in Giveadam Gulch at present. md we haven't heard of anybody being lonesome.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30

The Blue Hill Banner reminds us that we are not yet president of the United States. That's true, but as the days go by we feel more and more that we are the It of most of the United States and are bound to spread over the whole country in time. No one need worry about us.
Bisbee daily review., 1903-08-30

The Lawyer-Can't we prove an alibi?
 The Crook-Lets see, boss. I've got a alibi-bought and paid for-dat I didn't use last time I wus pinched. Will dat ao?-iS-w rorK pve>.lz- soIlr. lx--