The Savannah morning news., 1903-09-06

Mr.. Schwab's place for anybody. Fan
cy a boy walking up to Mr. Pierpont
| Morgan and saying: Mr.. Morgan, I
want job Well says Morgan, What
can you do 2 I can tell you who was
king of Kamschatka in B. c. 423 and
l can quote Homer to beat the band.
| WHAT do you suppose Mr.. Morgan
, would say to that young man-why it
wouldn't be fit to print"
They do teach young men the pro-
fessions," said MIR. Brief. Law, Med
icine, Theology, Letters"
But all those professions are over
crowded. said the Idiot, while the
country is simply trying for good farm
ers, we'll trained janitors, expert chauf-
feurs, railway conductors, and hotel
clerks. Every man nowadays wants to
! be doctor. or lawyer, or clergy
man, and the colleges foster that spirit
by cultivating special schools. II
they'd get up a good course in janiting,
it would afford a fine opening for
young man"
Who'd be a janitor!'' cried the Bib
limaniac.
IF it was, as it ought to be, an hon
orable calling for which men were Mt
ted in college. a great many would,
said the Idiot. 1T pays a fair salary
the work is not difficult: it is a COM
handing position-the janitor Is mon
arch of all he surveys and much that
he doesn't, besides-and young man
who gets it steps into a nice little
apartment on the ground floor that Is
all his own, big enough for him and ms
wife, and which he occupies free OF
charge from the moment he secures the
appointment; and of all the professions
ofNthe present day, it is the one tnaC
stands most in need of being elevated.
What good is a college education u
farmer" demanded the Bibliomanlac
81 don't know" said the Idiot. - on
had a college education and oughl "
be able to tell us. l should say. now
ever, that for the reflective mind, wnlch
college education should assure, thet
is nothing more delightful than farm
er's life. What joy to toss hay WIN
the measures of Euclid ringing IN our
ears; what bliss to milk the COW While
the mind busies itself with the intIl-
cate problems of Plutarch; what le
licity to churn the butter with one
thoughts barking back to the Epltapnnhs
of Aristotle, or to fodder the cattle viii
the sonorous songs of Socrates
"Oh, tutt" cried Mr.. Pedagog.
They have a School of Agriculture
at Cornell" said Mr.. Whitechoker.
They have, indeed" said the ldlol,
men for the future. 1t gives them az
least one thing they can do. | don !
believe there's an institution IN tnls
country that turns out better oarsilel
than that same School Of AgricultuIe
UP at Ithaca. Read the racing recorusS
of the past twenty-five years and you i
see."
They must have taught Idiocy at
your Alma Mater" said Mr.. BrieI,
"They did" observed the Idiot. ana
they taught II well. There was tlile
when I could be an idiot IN hve ian
guages. two dead and three living
We'll anyhow. I don't believe on the
whole, that your ideas will prove prtc
ticable" said the Doctor "Our unlEFI
stiles aren't going 20 turn themselves
into trade schools" -
They" said the idiot. for the oral-
nary college graduate, there Is only orc
way 70 assure himself Of imme9ia'7
employment, and q quick fortune.
whats that?" demanded Mr. Bfiet'
ITO marry a rich giri replica - ~,
Idiot. I'm told it's yerF pleasant
buslnss~