Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-08-07
Jobson's Great,
Plan

The perSp1rat1on was rolling IN r1V-
ulets from Mr.. Jobson's brow when
he arrived from the Office one hot, hui
mid evening last week. He soused him
self in a tub of cold water, but the mere
exertion of drying himself after the
plunge made him warm all over again.
Mrs. Jobson didn't take any chances on
trying to engage him in airy pers1hage
when he came downstairs for dinner
there wasn't any air stirring, anyhow,
and Mr.. Jobson's heat-warped coun-
tenance didn't invite Mrs. Jobson to
frivolous conversation. He only picked
at his dinner the while he Illuminated
against the righteousness of the climate
Just about four days previously he had
been moaning miserably: 81 wonder il
this Internal town is ever going to- get
warm enough to make it fit for anything
but an Esquimau to live fn?" Now,
however, it was: ''This merrie month
of May fake givef me the earache-
that's what it does! - The internal gall
of the thermometer humping itself up
to the 81 mark at this time of the year
a fellow might just as well move down
to the Isthmus of Panama and be done
with it,"
To comfort him, and give him sur
cease of sorrow, Mrs. JObson read to him
a news dispatch stating that there were
ten feet of snow in Montana, and that
the thermometer registered six degrees
below zero out that way.
81 don't believe any such balderdaShi
Grossly replied Mr.. Jobson. 81 don't be-
lieve that there's that much GOODNESS
on the planet-the whole blooming
sphere is one gigantic blister, and I'm
boiling right in the hottest part of it
blast such a climate as the one that's
dished out to us here, anyhow-Ill bet
that that Death Valley we read so much,
about isn't marker to it,"
Whereupon Mrs. Jobson, espying the
danger signal subsidized.
After dinner Mr.. Jobson rocked him
self at parlor window, welding palm
denly broke out:
"Why, it's funny never thought of it
before-it's the SWEETEST scheme that
ever came into my head!"
What is?" obviously inquired Mrs.
JobsOn, who looked cool enough, prob
ably because she wasn't Impending foot
tons of energy in fooling with fan.
why" said Mr.. Jobson, full Of the
enthusiasm Of his great idea, well rent
| this house furnished-just as she stands
| to some unfortunate couple idiotic
enough to want to stay in Washington
| during the hot months, or that can't get
| out of town during the heated spell
and we'll go out into the country and
| board anywhere for the summer = to
i>Tenfeytown, or Bladenburg, or Ana
| costa, or Falls Church-anywheret to get
| a breath of air and dodge the blamed
Gehenna-like dog-days of Washington.
| Now, what dye think of that for bully
| plan?"
But" said Mrs. Jobson, you know
| how you've always despised boarding,
| and how you like your home cooking, es-
| pecially when all of the fresh vegetable
| and fruits are beginning to come to the
markets, and"
| Just wait a minute, if you please -
| interiected Mr.. Jobson. This thing is
| not a question Of fresh fruits and veg
etables-it so happens, 1 am glad to
say, that am not thinking of my stom-
ach every minute that I'm awake, like
| some people that 1 could mention-but
| it's q plain question of whether you
| want to have me in parboiled state in
| washington all summer. with the
| chances more than even that I'll be
| overcome by the heat in my own bed
right in the middle of the night before
autumn, or whether you can reconcile
yourself to my having breath of en-
| durable country air while the hot months
last. That's the proposition in a nut
/ shell, and I'll be obliged IL you'll put
| Yourself on record as to how you stand
on 1t.
.Oh, you know how little I suffer
from the heat" began Mrs Jobson, land
of course 1 want you TO be comfortable,
but
We'll, it's settled, then" broke in Mr.
Jobson. effectively choking on Mrs. job
| sons but" I'll write the ad. this even
ing, and you can take it down first thing
| in the morning-eleganth house. fully fur
nished for housekeeping, for rent from
June to October Trent merely NOM
| inal-something like that" and Mr.. Job
son was so full of his great scheme that
he went right upstairs and wrote the ad.
land .ad 1t aloud to Mrs. Jobson. and
thsa stuffed it into her chain purse. SC