davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20
Queer Funeral Story from Jamaica

arms of her astonished husband.
Some time later, this same woman
died in grim earnest, and the funeral
procession once more wended its way
along the same road. AS it approach
ed the scene OF the former resurrec-
ton, the bereaved widower excitedly
rushed up to the bearers and cried:
"For de blessid Lords sake, mind
dat tree dis timel
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20
The First Fly Answer

Where" inquired Noah passionate
ly when the dove returned, where
are we att"
why, Ararat, to be sure" replied
the dove.
Deep below in the hold the laughing
jackass unlocked his mouth and began
a wholesale business.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20
Old Time Feminine Folly.

1t is estimated that in the reign of
Louis XIV, when Madame de Pompa
dour set the fashions, the French wo-
men used for their cheeks each year
100000 pots of paint.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20
Mary's Great Head.

eyes" said Queen Elizabeth reflect
lively, MARY Stuart had great head.
But it wasn't much good" she added
merrily, "after | gave her that hair
cut with an axe"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20
Prudent Noah.

"Hum!" said Noah, gazing earnestly
over the waste of waters. IL wouldn't
mind striking land, but in view of my
historical reputation | do hope that
we won't strand on bar"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20
He Reformed.

WELL" sighed the sturdy agricul-
turist watching the last of the summer
boarders totter away, well, that's
over. Let's settle down and earn an
honest living the rest of the year"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20
A Tough Proposition.

Painter am now caught in the
worst tangle of my career.
Caller-What's the matter?
Painter am trying to paint a $50,
portrait of 7-cent man.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20

ing near, and then
smiled a silly, conciliating sort of
smile, supposed by her to be the kind
to get tobacco or brandy from me.
So this was the noble queer of the
famous, war-like, redoubtable Mic
macs, the tribe that has been longest
subjected to the benefcent influences
of Anglo-Saxon civilization. As L
looked on the oak-tan face of Her
Royal Highness Andrew Paul-for
that is her name-I had a glimpse of
the monumental failure of that civil
zation TO reach the Indian. | felt for
the first time that Indian schools, agri-
cultural encouragement and political
franchise notwithstanding, there is an
impossible gulf between the pale face
and the red skin. Their paths can
never lie side by side, and the original
North American is doomed to oblit-
Grafton actually as well as theoreti-
cally.
OF Entirely Different STOCK from the
Mexican Indians.
This head of the tribe who lives
on the east coast of Nova Scotia is
the chief ruler of the largest fragment
of any of the great tribes first met by
the explorers. / intentionally except
the Mexican Indians, for they are of
a different stock, and so amenable to
civilization.
Cabot found the Micmacs before
white men saw any of the mainland
Indians, either in the North or South,
and of all the tribes of the Atlantic
seaboard-the Pequods, the Della
wares, the Mgonquins. the Seminoles,
the Beothics, etc.-the Micmacs are
the only ones left. They have had
everything done for them that the
United States government could do
in New England, and by the English
government in Newfoundland and in
the Maritime provinces, but for nearly
four hundred years they have baked
civilizations best efforts, and to-day
are a law, besotted, worthless rem.
nant of a once powerful nation.
The last time that there was any
show of spirit on their part, any col
lectiye effort to assert their triba
rights or wishes, was some twenty
years ago when the Maritime Prov
inces decided TO abolish the practlc'
of allowing them just so much liquo
and making it punishable, by heav.
penalty, for any man TO sell or CIV,
them any quantity of strong drinl
whatever Then the scattered cluster
of the tribe gathered at Ferris Hll
near Sydney, Cape Breton, and at tn
Dartmouth encampment across tn
harbor from Halifax, Nova Scotia
They protested and danced and SAM
and even threatened. but the govern
ments were firm, and now even Chic
John, the husband of Queen Andre,
Paul, would sell his soul for hal
pint of very bad whiskey.
Chief John Is tha Tribes Nomins
Head.
Chief John is nominally the hea
of the tribe, and has a long line c
ancestors behind him, all with fin
records as warriors and some of ther
as statesmen, but now he is ruled b
his own Qneen, who beats him with
knctted spruce club whenever he ha
secured drink by some secret near
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20
Out!
Il A. -

1t was the last match.
Three strikes!" shrieked the match
box madly, "and outl"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20
An Aboriginal Scholar Who Has Re.
lapsed Into Savagery.

l had the opportunity OF seeing one
of these especially favored ones who,
having been inoculated with the
virus of civilization under the most
propitious circumstances, had strong
ly demonstrated that it would never
take. His story, as / heard it from a
churchman who knew it, was that,
having graduated from the university
with honors, he remained as a tutor
to help other Indian students. He be-
came in time a professor, and then
later was given the degree of doctor
of divinity
When | saw him he was squatting
before shack in the edge of the
woods. On his head was an old felt
hat too large for him. His long hair,
| hanging to his shoulders, was very
dirty. His face was thinly covered
with wisps of beard and a layer OF
NTH. His clothes were nondescript
picked from waste barrels or given
from back doors, and his feet were
shod with WORKOUT shoes of different
sizes and makes. Yet this stupid
looking specimen, who was whiting
hockey clubs with which to buy food
/ h'SSh ySaiS dSo Was III uHlNCiSii
chair, and is still doctor of divinity
The Micmacs have one unfailinl
source of revenue. No matter wha
happens, the boys of the country us,
up certain quantity of hockey clubs
every year, and the very best hocke,
clubs made come from the Micma,
camps. There is firm in Toronto
which sends yearly to the sub-chief
of the various villages orders for 81
many thousands of hockey clubs, anc
! though the pay for them is good an,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20
Adams Luck.

Any way, Adam never had to wait
for Eve to get dressed.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20
Present Condition of
the Micn1dcS, the Tribe
That Has Been
Longest Subjected to
Indian Civilization
By Broughton Brandenburg

IL came TO the
door of her wig
wan, a structure
of stolen boards
and scrap tin, lit
her rank Did pipe
from a fire burn
ing near, and then
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-09-20

Chief John is nominally the head
of the tribe, and has a long line of
ancestors behind him, all with fine
records as warriors and some of them
as statesmen, but now he is ruled by
his own Qneen, who beats him with
knctted spruce club whenever he has
secured drink by some secret means
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09

and the railroad and the newspaper press
discounted all that sort Of thing. The cam
paign enthusiasm depends no longer upon
local efforts. II there fs life In the party a
endeavors at any point 1t spreads to. all sec
lions Of the country. The campaign II con-
Quoted more distinctly as q unit than az q
series of state or city enterprises. Further
more. by holding both conventions here on
neutral ground. each party would stand
with the other In multiplying both the bene-
fits and disadvantages which accrue from
the present method.
If the selection of city for this honor
stimulates the local enthusiasm, does it not
dampen the ardor of the disappointed can
didates for the privilege of entertainment?
One of the strongest appeals of the merit
system upon which the civil service reform
is based is that it relieves the appointing
power of the pain of discrimination. Every
favored candidate, it is believed, stands for
ten disappointments. BY formally and for
all time naming Washington as the conven-
ton city each party would relieve itself of
heavy burden of responsibility and AVOID
the perils attendant upon choosing from
numerous aspirants. 50
1t has been said that Washington has no
hall appropriate for such use. Let the
national committee give evidence of a sim
cere desire to hold all future conventions
here. and Washington will in short order
provide model meeting place
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
Chaos in New York.

The New York sense of humor is keen.
Some very clever jokes are perpetrated in
the metropolis. For an example. the es-
teemed World refers to the esteemed Sun
as stalwart republican organ, and quotes
1t against Gov. Odell as proof of the charge
that the republican party in the en-
pire state is in a condition of COM
plete decentralization. Shall we not hear
next that Pierpont Morgan is booming
Theodore Roosevelt for the presidency; that
Charles F. Murphy is booming David B.
Hill for the same office; that Richard
Croker prefers Seth Low for the place;
that Seth Low Is going to be George Nc
Clellan's chief of staff? Let joy be uncon-
fined. In mixing up the political babies let
the work be complete. No favoritism In
the nursery. Still. 1t must be admitted that
there are some people in New York who
not only do not seem to know where the
other fellows are at" but give out the i'm
preston that they hardly know where they
are at themselves
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09

ing the city for the first time. is likely to
wonder II such disrepair and neglect are
typical of the federal housekeeping. The
walls Of the building have been stained in
places these many years until the original
color of the marble Is lost. The street dirt
has grimed the seams and streaked down
as the rains have washed the accumula-
tons. The iron fence surrounding the
reservation Is In q sad state of rust and
encrusted paint. Perhaps once a year. or
less often, the iron is painted, soon to show
the signs of weather wear. Today that
fence would cast discredit upon any private
establishment. It Is useless. in the first
place, and being ugly and unkempt 1t Is a
double abomination. Furthermore, the
glasses in the street lamps which front this
building which are under the care of the
government officials. and not the District
authorities. are so seldom washed that more
than half the time the gas burns within too
feebly to cast single ray abroad.
Soap and water and paint will work won
ders with this venerable pile. The removal
of the iron pickets will help even more. 1t
is time Uncle Sam stirred UP his house,
keepers and janitors to perform better
service. both In this and several other
public buildings about town.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
The Pneumonia Season.

From the Boston Herald.
Last week distinguished physician of
New York and a distinguished ex-represent-
alive of Illinois died of pneumonia. These
were not the only victims of this disease,
although they may have been the most dis
tinguished ones. 1t was said in respect of
DR.. Edison that he neglected apparent
symptoms too long. Doctors do such
things as well as people who have not SO
much reason to know the peris of 1t.
Pneumonia is one of the most destructive
diseases. according to the mortuary re-
ports. and is especially fatal In the winter
season. Yet we suppose that in large
proportion of cases the prevention of an
acute state of the disease Is entirely prac-
ticable by proper treatment in the primary
stages. The natural way when one knows
that he has experienced a chill and feels
the beginnings of fever in the system is to
say that II Is "onIy cold" and will disap-
pear and he keeps about his tasks with
little change of habit, expecting the cold
to wear Off" Sometimes it does; often 1t
does not. but develops by neglect The
safe rule is: Take no risks: fight the dis
ease in It's initial stage with all diligence
above all, do not invite cold.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
Uncle Sans housekeeping

AS long as there is disposition in many
quarters to make Washington beautiful and
attractive. show city. a delight to all
tourists and an object of pride in the eyes
Of all residents. it is surely to be expected
that the United States government will
keep its own premises in good order. If the
federal buildings and grounds here are not
we'll kept. then the citizen is not encourag-
ed greatly to exert himself to the end of
maintaining high standard OF civic clean
illness and beauty
This reflection is suggested by the present
appearance OF the large white building
popularity known as the Patent Office, prop
erly to be styled the Interior Department,
building of great prominence both of To-
cation and design. Yet today that building
is not to be regarded with pride by any
person who views 1t. Even the rustic visit
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
The Big Trust. Conspiracy.

The Stars news today on the subject of
the anti Roosevelt movement Is worth the
while of the busiest man who is curious
about politics. 1t comes within Mr.. Gree
leys famous category. 1t makes mighty
interesting reading. 1t shows the conspir-
acy that was Matched in trust and railroad
circles in New York for dscrediting the
President throughout the country, and how
disastrous to the conspirators the misfire
has been. The President has not been in
jured, but they themselves have been. An
opportunity has been afforded the Presi-
dents friends to renew their assurance of
loyalty to his fortunes and they are inn
proving it with emphasis and sincerity
which leave nothing to be desired by him.
They are standing up to be counted, and
they are all there. Where are the other
fellows? And echo throws no light on the
subject
What has the President done to alarm the
real, legitimate business interests of the
country? Has he not thrown his might in
favor of preserving and extending sound
money legislation? Is the gold standard
threa tened by him? Is he not protection
list? Has he intimated a desire for chal-
longing the Industries of the country to the
death? In his action In the matter of
of the land? Did not the peoples repre-
sentatives in Congress enact those laws?
Is their execution not desired and de-.
manded by the people, regardless of party?
II the President We're Indifferent on the
subject-but he is not-would he not by his
oath of Office be required to pursue the
course he, is in?
AS for the isthmian canal, fate, we may
say. dec ded IN favor of Panama The Star
spoke and wished for the Nicaragua route.
But it comedies, in the light of all the facts,
the wisdom of the Presidents course None
other was left open to him. We are there,
and shall remain there. The ditch is to go
through at that point.
The trusts and the dsgruntled railroad
interests are playing bold game. but a IT.
tie too openly, and they will lose. The
people, the plain people. the workad1y
people, in the shops, in the mines and
behind the counters, are with the Presi-
dent He stands for something defn tie
and in their interests in their eyes. His
policies do not rest upon the unsubstan-
TALLY of mere eloquent promises. He is
in Office and has done things, and If his
term is renewed he will go on in the same
direction and keep in the middle of the
road His advisers, with John Hay at Their
head. are safe men. Money cannot buy
him, nor buy the people away from him.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
The BuZZard.

Yesterdays failure of the Langley aero
plane, 1t is explained, was due as in the
first case, to fault of the launching de-
vice. The machine was not sent forth into
the air sufficiently straight to give it a
chance to perform according to schedule
Therefore, as viewed by the inventor and
his assistants. the airship is itself all right
but the method of starting 1t is as yet far
from perfect. 1t is as though a great gun
had been made. perfect in its own parts.
but incapable of being fired safely because
OF a defect in the ignition device. @ =.
The public will not be disposed to ana
lyze the failure of the aeroplane very keen
ly. 1t will regard the general results. 1t
will not discriminate closely between the
machine itself and it's launching accessory.
1t will persist in regarding the launching ap-
paratus as an essential feature of the
whole. For without the launching appli-
ance the ship itself is as useless as an I'M
assembled mass of steel and wood and
cloth.
OF course. there is still hope. Hope, in
deed. springs eternal in the breast of the
seeker for the secret of human flight. But
If once a perfect launching device can be
secured there will remain the test of the
machine Itself. which as yet is improved
linen WHICH the iduncinHs ueNice - 81 Hdoe
as to stand all tests, and the machine Is
safely projected into the air and sustains
itself and is brought under control. there
will yet remain the even more important
question of alighting. 1t is one thing to
leap OF building and to hold the body in
the position demanded by theory to ensure
a safe descent, but 1t Is another thing to
manage to hit the ground with sufficient
gentleness. 1t was an Irish hod carrier who
declared that he was never hurt by falling
of scafrold. 1t was the bringing up at
the bottom that broke his ribs
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
Ennui.
The songs Il

The songs they sing upon the stage
I've heard EN- all before;
The jokes which seem to be the rage,
They were my friends of yore.
The song of mother and of home,
And of the girl who went to roam,
The ragtime verse. the fearful ''pome"-
I've heard EN- all before.
I'm looking forward to a tune
i never heard before;
OF course, 1t needn't be too soon.
But thanks / will outpour
When Gabriel's trumpet shall resound
TO summon me to joys profound,
I'll say, Here's one thing, I'll be bound
1 never heard before.''
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
The Best Convention CITY.

Tomorrow the national republican COM
mittee will meet in this city to arrange the
date and select the place for the next con-
vention of the party. Several cities will
present their claims for the honor of enter
taining the delegates and shouters. Funds
have been subscribed TO this end and the
bidding. 1t is expected. Will be lively The
same process Will be observed in the case of
the democratic national committee, which
Is to meet later
The Star has heretofore suggested that
much trouble will be avoided II both parties
agree to hold their conventions regularly In
Washington. This is neutral territory
despite the proximity of the administration
Time was, before the advent OF the steam
railroad and the telegraph and the tele-
phone and the great newspaper, when 1t
Vas not without reason regarded as un-
desirable that either party should assemble
to choose candidates at the seat of govern
ment, for fear of the exercise of undue in
fiuence upon the delegates by the party and
men in power But that day has passed,
and II would be impossible for the admins
tration. whatever the political situation to
exert any influence whatever over a con-
yention sitting in Washington which could
not be exerted to equal effect across the
width of the continent.
Washington probably would not be able to
compete in the bidding with some OF the
other cities which are now SO eager for the
chance to entertain the conventions. But 1t
would assure the delegates a comfortable
meeting place, commodious hotels, superior
transp ortation facilities. and many con-
veniences which would be lacking elsewhere
Once upon time the national conventions
were regarded as vehicles for arousing great
enthusiasm IN the cities and states in which
they were held. Again has the telegraph
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
Where He Stands.
From the Philadelphia North American.

Among a certain group of ''1nanciers''
there has been a persistent attempt to I'M
dermine confidence in the President by in
sinuating that he represents antagonism to
capital that hts views are destructive and
his policies dangerous. Examination of his
acts and his utterances will show that he
advocates nothing that any honest corpo-
ration need fear. The financial thimble-
riggers. the vendors Of inflated securities
the wreckers of investors property-these
may and should fear the determination of
President Roosevelt. for in his opposition to
Grimes of cunning he represents the
whole American people.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09

Possibly Mr.. Bryan will have time to run
over and see Richard Croker before he
leaves Europe. But Mr.. Bryan has been
moving in distinguished society of late, and
perhaps Richard is not in his set.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
An Indirect but Effective Method.

II suppose said the chemist, that the
secret of transmitting the baser metals into
gold will never be discovered"
Nonsense answered the mining mag
nate. Il discovered that secret, long ago.
AL. you have to do is to choose your baser
metal and then corner the market"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
An Element of Excitement Lacking.

even IL the airship were a success, do
you think it would become popular with
people who could afford it?"
II don't know" answered the wild auto
mobilist there wouldn't be much chance
of running down pedestrians with an air
ship.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
The Occult.
Why dot

Why does a tickle beauty smile one day
And the next be unrelenting and severe?
In sooth you might as well
Inquire why flowers blossom sweet in May
And why the winter sky is chill and drear
'Tis something none can tell
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
The Merit System.

From the New York Times.
There Is no part Of the administration Of
Mr.. Roosevelt that reflects greater credit
on him than that connected with the appIi-
cation of the merit system, which he I'M
derstands far better than any President
since Its first introduction, and to which he
is intelligently devoted
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09

The announcement that David B. Hill has
further intentions as a maker of history
calls to mind the fact that he has not yet
completed that transaction by which the
government was to assert ownership Of the
coal mines
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09
Political Prestidigitation.

Don't you feel embarrassed with the
eyes of the world upon you?"
NO" answered Senator Sorghum. he
signed another check. 1.-The quickness Of the
hand deceives the eye'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09

A Baltimore detective secured the details
OF an arson case by impersonating a med
ium. This tends to confirm a theory that
many mediums manage to find out more
than they tell.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09

The Philadelphia minister who talks of
maintaining bar in connection with his
church evidently thinks that In converting
sinner the first thing to do Is to catch
your sinner.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09

People who were disappointed at Ben
ming will at least find something to adj
mire in Professor Langley's airship as q
consistent performer
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09

Venezuela's importation of 100000
cartridges may have been made merely on
that governments theory of long standing
that such things are always handy to have
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-12-09

1t is hoped that the marines will not have
any more practical business to transact in
Panama than Gen. Reyes has in Wash
inetOn