Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-06-25
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chaser that is a great success."-Ex.
I'm not afraid of those horrid auto
mobiles any more" said the off horse.
"Nor l." said the near horse, IL help
one home every day"
He-The fact Is that you women
make fools Of the men. She-Some-
times, perhaps: but sometimes we don't
have to.-Boston Transcript,
80 you went to see one of those
old New England plays. Was it real
istic" Indeed 1t was. Why, when
the rainstorm came up Uncle Henry's
corns began to hurt interchangeable
of Humor.
Mother-IIas young Meadows asked
you to marry him. Ethel? Ethel
About the same thing. He said that
If he ever should marry he thought he
knew the kind of girl that would suit
him.-Chicago Record-Herald.
1.-THE world isn't what it used to
be-" complains the cynic. Formerly
a man had some chance; now it is just
like-just like" Just like a church
fair" said the listener supplying the
lacking smile without an effort
Judge.
Il suppose that If you marry my
daughter you will expect me to pay
your debts?" shouldn't think of put
ting you to so much trouble" answer
ed Earle Byrd. You can give me the
money and I'll pay 'em myself -
Washington Star.
Il really think you ought to go to
church with me once in a WHILE" she
urged. MY dear" replied the willy
man. my good fortune makes that
entirely unnecessary. l have wife
who is good enough for two."-Chi
cago Evening Post.
Guest tat dinner)-Ah, that's goot
old ale. Pardon my asking, but where
did you get it? Subbubs Home
brewed. Guest-Really? The CHECKER
is delicious, too. Is it one of your OWL
raising? Subbubs-Yes. home brood
philadelphia Ledger
They had started for stroll. "Ther'
is our minister" he said: I'm goint
to ask him to join u.s." ITO join us
Oh. George. this is so sudden! Blu
hadn't you better speak to papa be
fore engaging the minister. dear!'-
London Spare Moments.
II sing so much" said the man who
thought he could, Its surprising
don't have some troublesome throa
trouble" "Oh. that's not surprising
here in the East" replied Pepprey
1--WE don't lynch people here. even FOL
that."-Philadelphia Press.
$50 you are not going to Europe
again?" Not for long time an
swered Mrs. Cumrox. ut Is our In
tention to live in America, thereb.
calling attention to the fact that W.
can afford to pay the highest price
for Observation-Disclosures Star.
Mrs. Jenner Lee Ondego-My hus
band Gays Americans spend 100000
600 a year in foreign travel. Mrs. Sell
dom-H olme-I don't doubt 1t. but 1t l
all we'll spent. Why, l consider tn
French accent my Esmeralda acquire
from her two years in Paris wort
every cent Of Tx.
"Yes," said the critic to the aspirin
young playwright. there are great pos
siblities In this play OF yours.
Thank you. 1t is very kind of you
saw So" But there will be create
possibilities in the fellow who is cleve
enough to find them and get them out.
Chicago Record Herald.
The sagacious wife watches her hui
bands angry efforts to find the cola
button that has rolled beneath the lot
reau. 81 should think" she says. eth:
YOU would have two collar buttons.
"You should" he snorts. reaching Ill
der the bureau for the fiftieth time an
rasping his hand along the floor. 81
takes a woman to figure out some wa
to double mans troubles.' Ne'
York Herald.
If the President gets q few NOR
LII DIS his full name and all his title,
will look like the snan Of a cantilovA