Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1903-12-17
BoWser Kept
a Diary
Mr.. B.. However, Came
Across the Book. and IT,
Contents Enlightened Her
Copyright, 1909. by c. h. Lewis.l

but, though having considerable Curl !
osity ia the matter, she asked no ques- |
tons. He might be making notes for
the plot of play, or he might be jot
ting down statistics To work into his
next speech The other day. however
ms she was hanging up a coat which
ne had carelessly left lying around
the notebook fell out, and the long
standing mystery was solved. 1t was
rot diary, but Mr.. Bowser had jot.
ted down facts and figures MS follows,
10 be used when occasion demanded:
Jan 1.--Complain that she Is u.s.
Ing too much coal and hint that she is
selling part or II 10 add TO her pin
money. She will probably deny the
imputation, but you must firmly in
sst on retrenchment in this direction.
Say that your coal is costing twice as
much as Green's, and if she denies it
get Green TO lie about the matter
Jan. 10.--lt is always in order TO
complain of the gas bills, no matter
whether they are larger or smaller than
the month before. Mention your sus-
picions that she keeps three or four
burners going all day TO spite you.
Jan. 20.-It will be good idea to
descend upon Mrs. BoW.er suddenly
with demand TO see the grocery
book Speak of her increasing extrav-
agance, whether there is any increase
or not. Express your opinion that she
would be only too glad TO send you to
the poorhouse. The way to make
iS IN IF
her extravaganza.
FEB. 1.-Mrs B. had the audacity
this evening to laugh at r poem | had
composed. | passed her action over
for the time being, but II will keep
There will come an occasion when |
can charge her with bursting n water
pipe TO make me all the expense posi-
bic State that your plumbers hill is
over $500 per year and all on her ac
couu, and don't take on dollar No
war pipe ever bursts unless some'
or around the house hits it with the
n
FEB. 10. -- Today Mrs Bowser lost
her pucse containing 40 cents. Bear
that in mind for a future occasion.
Stick to it that the amount was SG.40
and declare that she is not woman to
be trusted to go downtown with any
thing beyond her car fare. IL she re-
torts that you have lost your pocket
book on three different occasions, dodge
the issue by denouncing the eXtrava-
pance of the weekly milk bill Deny
everything: admit nothing. That is the
only way to get ahead OF Mrs. Bowser.
March g. - Came home tonight to
md the doorbell out of order The bat
terry had probably run out, but when.
ever we have another scrap Mrs Bow
scr must be charged with having de
libcrately yankcd out ten feet of wire.
Declare tina. it costs you 500 per year
to keep that bell in order. and don't
take off cent. She may lay it TO
tramps and peddlers, but don't let her
dodge it,
March IS. 49, Came home 10 ind n
tramp at the basement door Mrs Bow
So had just handed him out a sand
wclI. Booted him out OF the yard, but
didn't say anything 10 her; kept il for
future ammunition and expect Il to
prove Il big thing. At Il proper time |
shall declare that She has fed at least
5.unO Migrants during the last year AT
u5 expense and that the cost has been
AZ east $1,000. Don't let her squirm
uaI Of it by any talk about charity.
May 1O.-Discovercd that Mrs. Bow
tr gave one of my old vests to tramp
yesterday; didn't say much, but it will
be a good thing to bring up later on.
When it is brought up, YOU want ia
claim that there was a twenty dollar
bill in one of the pockets and that the
amount will of course be stopped from
her pin money. Make whole suit out
of the vest and declare that she gives
away half dozen year, If she seems
10 be getting the best of the argument
which doesn't seem possible. lug in the
Tact that the ice has been left outdoor.
10 melt on more than fifty different oc
casions this summer. She may try IL
lay it on to the cook, but hold her witt
firm hand
June drought home a painting
BY an old master, and Mrs. Bowsel
laughed at it and declared that | hat
been taken in. | think | was, but
showed her the pieces of a broken plat
ter found in the back yard and PROVED
that her shftlessness was making
moor man of me. Broken dishes, Stra.
clothespins, battered tnwarc and thu
like are good things for argument
Don't let Mrs. BowSer lay it off on tn
last girl that left, but hold her right I,
the mark.
July 1.-Came home this evening 4
find that during the day the cats ha'
dug up and eaten the six hills of Earl
Rose potatoes had planted in the bacI
ward; held Mrs. Bowser personally re
sponsible. of course, and had much tn
best of the argument. A good idea I
WOr., on in the future. The wife VIII
sees a dozen cats digging up the potat
crop and never lifts hand to proven
is not looking out for her husbands il
forests Mrs Bowser made excuse tina
II must have been done when she wa
downtown, but made il plain that sh
had no business away from the house
If is her duty to stay around and watc
out for cats.
"July 2O.-Things look as If ther
would be another family row soon, an
# will be well to remember and hun
MT Mrs. Bowser the fact that she bougl
n gold ring OF peddlcr for 81 and
turned OUT TO be nothing but brass