davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
where the Banana Grows.

In South America the banana is not
takes the place of bread and meat and
vegetables among large part of the
people. Every garden has it's banana
patch, just as we have our indispensa-
BILE rows of potatoes. On the isthmus
Of Panama the cars spin past hills
covered from base to summit with the
beautiful broad leaved plants, their
great clusters of fruit hanging from
the stems just under the leaves. The
banana plant looks something like an
immense Gala lily. Its stem is made
up of the bases Of the leaves, so
sheathed or folded around each other
and hardened as to sustain the weight
of the mass Of foliage above.
It will in some localities attain a
height Of twenty feet. When two years
old it bears fruit and then dies, but a
number of young shoots spring up
from the base of the old stem, so that
it continually renews itself, and the
farmer, who is usually an Indian or
negro, has no trouble except to keep
the weeds and the old withered trunks
cleared away from the growing plant
Even the trunk is of use, for it con-
tains a fiber almost as soft as silk,
which can be woven into the most
exquisite muslins. Indeed, some Of the
dainty india muslins are made of this
very fiber.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
A COMPOSITE Game.

This is an lmprOmptu game--that is
to say, it may be played at any time
or anywhere without preparation, and
therefore it is just the thing for boys
and girls to have ready when called on
for something to amuse company
Eight players take part in it. They
seat themselves in a row or a circle,
and the first player whispers to his
neighbor on the left the article ''the" or
"a" The second player whispers to his
left hand neighbOr an adjective, the
third noun in the singular number,
the fourth verb, the fifth an adverb,
the sixth number, the seventh an adj
jective and the eighth a noun in the
plural number
You may imagine that these whis-
pered words, when joined in a sem
tence, will make an amusing mixture,
for 10 one knows, of course, what
word his neighbor on the right has.
Suppose, for example, the first player
whispers the article "the," the second
intellectual" the third camel" the
fourth "waltzed," the fifth ''amiably"
the sixth fifty" the seventh down
hearted" the eighth ''hyenas." There
you have the completed sentence, 1.-THE
intellectual camel waltzed amiably ff
ty downhearted hyenas."
One ridiculous sentence after another
may be formed in this way until the
party tires of the game.-New York
Herald
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02

the grip and the medical profession
combined, he felt it his duty to assume
a serious look and announce that 1t
was an aggravated case and might
terminate in pneumonia
The patient was to take three kinds
of medicine, summon up all his will
power and remain in bed for at least
two weeks. He also inquired if Mr..
BoWser had his life insured and his
house in order. In taking his leave
he observed that nine out of ten cases
Of the grip were proving fatal aud
that fat men were being moved down
Eke grass.
At 1870 Mr.. Bowser felt hot flashes
and cold shivers, and a dog howled dis
mally in front of the house. He didn't
inquire as to the color of the dog, but
he felt more shiyers as he heard the
bowls. He acknowledged that he was
crank and q kicker and begged Mrs.
Bowser to turn his pillow over and
forgive a dying man. He said he
didn't want to be buried in Connect
cut, but wouldn't raise a fuss about it.
At II o'clock there were more shiv-
ers, and he had hot fatiron at his
feet and a cup of hot tea; also held
Mrs. Bowser's hand and said he was
sorry for finding fault with the gas
bill.
At Il O'Clock noon the patient COM
planned of nIrnbness in his knees and
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
The Magic
....P e n n y

There is not a boy who would not
like to know how to make penny &c
through the top Of a wooden table and
drop into basin or cup held under.
meath, trick, of course, like the thou
sand and one tricks that you see the
magicians perform.
Before you go to party sew a penny
neatly in one corner of a handkerchief
then fold the handkerchief and put ii
in your pocket.
When you are ready to perform the
trick have a small table placed in the
middle of the room and on it a medium
sized book and a tin basin or cup.
Now say to the company that you are
going to borrow penny from some
one and after wrapping it in your
handkerchief you will cause it to pass
down through the top Of the table and
drop into the basin.
Having obtained the penny, you ask
the lender of 1t to put some little mark
on it by means of which he may know
it again; then you pretend to wrap it in
the handkerchief that youa take from
your pocket, but you really conceal it
in your right hand, wrapping the hand
kerchief around the penny that you
have already sewed in it. A little prac-
tice will enable you to do this in a way
to escape detection.
You must do the wrapping so that
the spectators to whom you offer the
handkerchief for examination may feel
the penny and be sure that it is there;
then lay the handkerchief on the table,
and on it place the book, which should
be large enough to conceal it entirely.
All this time you have been holding
L yoar risht band, tucked away be,
tween two Of the fingers, the penny
that you borrowed. Now take the ba-
sin or cup in that hand and pass it
under the table, holding 1t right under
your fingers may readily release the
penny. Make two or three passes over
the book with your left hand, say
"Prestov' and at the same time let the
penny drop from your right hand into
the basin.
OF course the company will hear it
fall; then you bring the basin into view
and place it on the table, and as the
company is looking at it you take the
handkerchief from under the book,
and, holding it by the corner in which
the penny is sewed, you shake it and
show that the penny is no longer in it.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
HE GOES ooP LIKE "A CAT"

want der coffin. 1t vhas a good bar
gain you made. How mooch you gif
to get out of herY
dot Schmidt says he Will gif $40,
und by ind by Hoopenlaker hands him
Oafer dot receipt und takes der money,
und we make fife dollar apiece. Next
day when l goes down to see Schmidt he
swears for half an hour, but When he
gets through he says | vhas der smart
est man in town You see, Hans, shoe
pegs vhas nottings. 1t vhas brains dot
count. Maybe you hat some brains to
send out for a quart of beerY
/ don't hat, und after waiting long
time Mr. Voglestein signs und says:
II shall wait until / get home und
den drink barrel Hans, if you vhas
me der odder day you lose forty nine
dollar in two minutes"
"How can l do it?" I says
"Shust like grease. | vhas over on
Green street When l see a man nit a
bike. He can't ride at all. He falls off
more ash ten times. Ply und py l ask
him Why he don't ride a cow, und he
says:
Look here, old mans, maybe you
think can't rider
"'I know you can't
Maybe you like to bet me / can't
20 oop dot ladder to der roofT
"'Of course l do
'Vhell l bet you dollar l go up
eve put oop der money und he leaves
dot bike on der ground und goes COP
like a cat. 1t vhas some tricks on me,
but I don't kick"
but you vhas dollar OUT
"Cobbler, don't you see dot your
head vhas full of sawdust? I shall
bet feefty dot man can't go oop dot
ladder, but he lets me off nit one
Don't | safe forty-nineY'
Mr. Voglestein beliefs vhas some
FOOLS und be don't speak to me again
for some time. Den he grins und
chuckles und says:
MAYBE you don't hear about me
und dot policemans on Third place
One day last winter when I falls down
on der Ice he says vhas drunk und
takes me to der station house und
makes me pay two dollar. he tells der
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02

him. Il was reading last night that it
had carried off over 400 people in this
town alone in the last year. I want a
doctor at once"
"But II is a mild attack, and you
know you have often said that no per-
son with an ounce of brains
ut makes no difference what have
often said / am all of a shiver one
minute and burning up the next, and
my mouth is as dry as chips. Tele-
phone the doctor at once and tell him
not to be all day getting around here"
That was the beginning Of the day.
At 8 o'clock Mrs. Bowser brought up
some tea and toast, and Mr. Bowser
took few sips Of the one and nibbled
at the other and said he had feeling
that he was not long for this world.
His voice was very plaintive as he
said it.
At half past 9 he called Mrs. Bowser
up to say that his head ached, his feet
were cold and he wanted quiet fu-
neral in case Of death. She assured
him that one day in bed would prob
ably effect a cure, but he sighed and
shook his head and hoped he would
have bis senses to the last.
At 10 o'clock the doctor arrived.
Having heard Mr.. Bowser disparage
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02

shudge dot if l vhas sober fall oop
instead Of down. like to get eaten
nit him for dot, und so when / sees
him by 4 fire alarm box der odder day
1 comes running oop und calls out:
"Queeck Queeck! How you open
dis boxY
"'Vhas it some fire? he says.
"'Hurry oop! Don't waitv
"He opens der box und rings an
alarm, und fife engines come out.
Eaferypody looks for fire, but dere
vhas none.
GLOW vhas itY says der policemans
to me.
"T like to see If it vhas a letter
box says to him.
HE gifts me der collar und runs me
to der station house, but der captain
says:
"tYou vhas fool, officer. Release
dot man. He don't tell you dere vhas
q fire, und he don't open der box. It
vhas no crime to be curious
80 you see got eaten NIT der
cop und vhas all right. Last night he
finds me py lamppost und he calls
out:
"'Ah, you vhas tight again, Ell?
Vhell, you must come along nit me-
sBut my friend Kleinfeldt comes out
Of his grocery und says:
"'Oficer, you look leetle out. 1t
vhas two vhays. Maybe Voglestein
vhas holding oop der lamppost und
MAYBE der lamppost vhas holding opp
Voglestein.'
"Und dot officer whistles py himself
und goes on und let's me alone"
M. QUAD.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
Bosvser,s Escape
He Has q Severe Attack Of the
Grip, but His Life Is Spared *

buzzing in his ears. Had his pillow
turned over and his feet tucked up,
and Mrs. Bowser went down and child
ed the cook for singing, 81 Would Not
Live Away"
At l o'clock Mr.. Bowser seemed to
be asleep, but as Mrs. Bowser wiped
tear off his cheek he opened his eyes
and said that if he was to live his life
over again he'd never buy fire escape
or new milk COW without her con-
sent. He would like to live on for her
sake, but felt that he was called to go.
More toast and tea, and he ate heartily
for a dying man. Pillow turned over
and the cat hustled out Of the room.
At 2 o'clock the doctor came again.
He looked more serious than before
and sounded Mr.. Bowser's lungs.
Seemed to take secret satisfaction in
humping him we'll. Announced that
there was no sign of pneumonia yet,
but advised the utmost caution against
exposure or excitement Said that
most Of his patients who died heard a
dog howl a few hours before dissolu-
ton. 1t was just possible that he
could pull the case through, but
AS soon as he had departed Mr. Bow
ser had four shivers in succession and
gave Mrs. Bowser a list of debts to
be paid after he had become an angel.
At 3 o'clock the patient tried to sing
a hymn, but gave it up in the middle of
the first verse and asked Mrs. Bowser
if she could possibly forgive him for
jawing around when the coal was out
She wiped the tears from his eyes and
kissed him, and he whispered that he
was sorry for calling his mother-in-laW
human hyena. .~.,+-''
At 4 o'clock the patient felt GRIN
king of his toes, accompanied by a
twitching Of the ears, and he declared
his belief that they were signs Of dis
solution. He recalled the fact that he
had once come home and raised a great
row over finding a clothespin in the
front yard, and he wanted to die know
ing that Mrs. Bowser had forgiven
him. Forgiveness was extended, and
he was assured that he had many
years of life still before him. This
cheered him for moment, but a new
buzzing in the ears admonished him
that his stay in this cold world might
be brief.
At o'clock more toast and tea
While the patient ate and drank he
said that he was leaving the best wife
in all the world behind him and that
he deserved booting for the way he
had held her responsible for broken
windows and burst water pipes. He
spoke of the cat as if she were a hui
man being and wondered If she would
miss him; wondered how he could have
ever been SO foolish as to try to ride
bike.
At 6 o'clock the patient felt that
pneumonia had seized him in it's deadly
clutch and that two hours more would
witness the end; held Mrs. Bowser's
hand and asked her forgiveness for
saying that she had no system about
housekeeping; referred to his mother
in-law again and left her several fare
we'll messages.
At o'clock, as Mrs. Bowser sat
downstairs and her patient was sup
posed to be asleep, MI. Bowser sudden
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
d er German
CObblers
Mr.. VoSIeSfein Calls and Re
EufeS His A dUenfureS.

R WAS putting some cement patch
on a shoe when Mr.. Voglestein
WALKS in und lifts oop der groWl-
er to see if it vhas empty. He
finds no peer und he vhas mad for fife
minutes. Den he says:
''Hans, did you hear how I safed
twenty dollar few days ago."
mo"
''VhelI, it shows you how smart |
vhas. 1 vhas going along Second
street when man runs after me NIT
q pocketbook in his hand und says:
"'Oxcuse me, but hat you lost your
money? l vhas a poor man, but l
give it back
II neffer carry pocketbook in all
my life, but If somepody finds one und
runs after me What shall do? It
vhas my peesness to take it, of course.
It vhas a fat pocketbook, und / slip
1t in my pocket und reward dot man
NIT fife dollar bill 1t don't take me
ten minutes to be a mile AWAY und
hide behind a coal office to count der
money. How mooch you belief vhas
in dot pocketbookw
zone t'ousand dollar
"Humph! Not cent. 1t vhas
stuffed out NIT old paper. 1t vhas all
a trick, you see."
''Und you lost fife dollarp'
''No, sir. / safed twenty. / safed
it because if dot man had asked for
twenty-five dollars reward I should
hat given it to him right off, Dots
What aiIs you, Hans You vashn't
smart und you don't know how to
safe. don't wonder you vhas only
cobbler after ten years"
Mr.. Voglestein pats herself on der
back und smiles und laughs, und when
he lights his pipe he says:
"Maype you don't hear about me und
dot undertaken? 1t vhas sooch a smart
tricks dot all my friends would like me
to be alderman Of my ward. Dot IN
dertaker vhas Schmidt, und call into
his place und ask how peesness vhas.
He says she vhas poor und dot he Will
make me bargain. II buy a feefty
dollar casket now / shall hat it for
feefteen dollars. If it vhas you, Hans.
you don't buy, but vhas man nit a
tricks oop my sleeve. pay him der
cash und take receipt, und next day
my friend Hoopenlaker goes down to
Schmidt und says:
est vhas very sudden, Wasn't itY
"'HowY
"'Vhy, der vhay Voglestein pegged
out last night. Didn't you hear about
itY
"'N-o. Good gracious, how she vhas?
"'He drops dead of heart failure aft
err supper, undoof course his wife Will
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
SUDDENLY APPEARED BEFORE HER IN HIS DRESS
y appeared before her In his dressing

ly appeared before her In his dressing
gown.
Good graciousp' she exclaimed.
'But you-you''-
Exactly, madam" he replied as he
looked around for cigar. You and
the doctor have fondly imagined all
day that was booked for Jericho, but
you see me here before you, and now
why in thunder are you letting that
blamed old cat scratch that cover off
the lounge?" M. QUAD.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
Gratitude Of > Fish.

An interesting little chap about four
years old was fishing for minnows the
other day in pond in the New York
suburbs. He had tied bent pin on
the end of long string ard was wait
ing fol, the unsuspecting little fish to
come along and bite.
earl, dear, did you catch anythingf' ~
les, Maggie" he answered, II got
a little fish, and he was SO glad TO see
me he just wiggIed his tail like every
thing. New York Times.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
The Walters Method

Nav" said the head waiter, "that
man that jest went out amt worth
much"
"How do you known inquired the
favorite customer.
"Oh, it's easy for us walters to take
a mans measure"
Il suppose you measure him from
tip to tip, eh?'-Buffalo Times.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
The Mereenarv.

Go, marigold, poor flower that caught
My lady's fancy for a day,
And ask her if in vain I've sought
To teach her love as she has taught
A score of hearts to own her sway.
Tell her the passion of my thought;
Tell her that for her "Yes!" / pray;
Oh, bring not back nwelcome ''Nayis
Go, marigold.
She filings you by since have naught
But love wherewith for love to pay!
All. lady, if it must be bought.
Your heart so curiously wrought,
With Mammon's coin, can but say,
Go. marry goIdi'
Il T. Newcross In Smart Set
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
Turned Out,

"Our colleges turn out some pretty
good men nowadays" remarked the
eide -ly gentleman.
Ies," replied his son gloomily; ''our
ollege turned out the man who was
sure to have won the 100 yard dash
for us next year just because he didn't
pass any of his examinations. "-Syra-
cuSe Herald.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
Justly Indignant.

The house had been full of aunties
come to spend the holidays, and the
baby's six-year-old brother was heard
one morning confiding his woe to his
father:
"Say, papa, do you know, I've had
to sleep whole week in room just
full Of womenY -Lippincott's Maya
zine.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
An Expert,s Orsnsor

Priscilla-Do you approve Of long en-
gagements?
Mayme-Well, that depends If the
fellow has plenty of money and takes
you to everything long engagement
Is endurable. Otherwise it is better to
rush it through and start fresh one.
Detroit Free Press.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
Extremely Cynical.

wasn't that a dreadful scandal?"
"Yes," answered Miss Cayenne.
II understand the people concerned
are almost heartbroken."
''That's true. It was q dreadful hui
initiation to them to find they didn't
have enough influence to keep it out
Of the newspapers. - Washington Star.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
His Opinion.

Mrs. Peckem-I wonder If a man ever
does get too old to marry.
Peckem-Of course not. Age doesn't
always bring wisdom. News.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
A Woman,s Way.

He-She told me it was her first year
out.
She Why, she's been out four sea-
sons.
He-Well, suppose she counts four
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1903-07-02
Copyright, 1903, by G. B. Lewis.l


y Il YHEN Mr.. Bowser had over
wv afaesn n minutes @1sa the Re' eth ss
morning Mrs. Bowser went
up to see what was wrong. He was
awake, but he had just felt a shiver
pass over him and had the quilts
drawn up to his chin. He had made
fun of the grip a hundred times over
and had even asserted that only per-
sons of weak intellect would give up to
it, but now he had feeling that he
was in for it himself.
Mrs. Bowser scanned his flushed face
and felt Of his pulse and quietly said:
Its a case of the grip, and you'd
better stay in bed today. OF course the
grip doesn't amount to anything, but
you'd better take reasonable precau-
TONS"
''But it does amount to something"
he contended as another shiver struck
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-09-30
AIDED 7s,ooo GIRLS.
A Good Mission Completes It's Twena
 tieth Anniversary.

A Good Mission Completes Its Twens
 tfeth Anniversary.
 NEW YORK, Sept. 3o.-For twenty years Irish immigrant girls have found shelter, comfort protection and assist ance at the mission of Our Lady of the Rosary, State street It's twentieth anniversary was marked by no special celebration, but on Sunday there will be religious services. at which the Rev. H. J. Henry, director of the mission, will make suitable address.
 The work was begun by the Rev. Fla ther Riordan in 1883. Tn the last twenty years 75,O00 girls have been cared for at the mission free of charge until they could be sent to their respective desti- nations or placed in service. Father Henry says of the mission: 'It has not been confined to assisting immigrants in New York. It's arm has been long enough to reach across the Atlantic to correct abuses"
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-09-30
WHERE BIG FISH ABOUND.
Island On the Texas Coast That Ia Very AllurinG to Levers
 of Angling.

Lying broadside of the Texas coast, and along the northwestern gulf line, is St. Joseph Island. It is a spot to which nature lures the fisherman on idle, dreamy summer days, when sum- shine, eternal golden sunshine, is everywhere, says the Four-Track News
 On one side the channel, as peaceful shadows drift, casting lights of purple and pink end blue; on the other, the dashing, restless gulf, twinkling and sparkling as though myriads of stars were playing hide and seek among it's white caps
 If it IS early in the morning, the mass is dotted with many small boats, and little fish are gambling among the waves, while porpoises sail by with independent indifference. Great flocks of swift-winged sea birds skim the waters, while storks, and cranes, and the -plumaged ilamingo, with great numbers of smaller waders, are eagerly devouring their morning meal nearer the shore. The scene Is full of wild. free life, together with the brac- ing air and the pleasant odor from the salt marshes.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-09-30
Autumn Days.

The autumn days again have come, as is their style each year When days of summer time round out their term and disappear. And in accordance with the change the seasons thus have made
 togs parade. The young man in the brief top coat struts proudly into view, And stylish wrap the maiden dons instead of peek-a-boo. Wise sires again incase their forms in woolen underwear, And matrons turn to heavy gowns de-
 vised with greatest care. We bid farewell to melon feasts, although
 tis with a sigh. And find pleasing substitute in oyster
 stew or fry From drinks we're cutting out iced tea
 that used to reach the spot, And find more satisfaction in the coffee
 strong and hot. We tell the iceman that no more his
 frigid goods we need And chuckIe when we think at last from
 that expense were freed, But suddenly we recollect the costs that
 grteve the soul For soon twill keep us on the jump to
 pay-for gas and coal. We put away the screens that kept the
 flies and skeeters out And hunt up weather strips to shield from
 winds that romp about. still other tasks remind us that the wfn-
 ters coming on, That soon, alas, the autumn days, like
 summers, will be gone. sTheodore IT. Boice In Pittsburg Chroni- e-Telekraph.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-09-30
NEW CUP >AsPtRANT.
Australian Yachtsman's Plan to Lift
 the Yachting Trophy.

Australian Yachtsman's Plan to Lift
 the Yachting Trophy.
 The New York Herald publishes the following from it's London correspond ent:
 Captain Wales of Sydney, Australia, is in England with view to arrang- ing for yacht to be built for the pur- pose of contesting for the Americas cup next year.
 Captain Wales is we'll known in Aus tralia as yachtsman of great expert ence and also as the inventor of twin circular keels. He claims that if the Shamrock III. had been built accord ing to his invention she would have beaten the Reliance so much in wind ward work that the Reliance would never have overhauled her at a run or reach.
 CaptaiESTales intends to demon strate fnvention for the first time in EuHaRnd at an international exhibi- ton of inventions which is to be held at Brighton in November.