Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1903-01-09

Hillis-Nhew! Why do you have
your office as hot as an oven? Willis
It's there | make my daily bread
Town and Country.
"Why, Harold, I'm surprised You
should wait until the blessing is ask
ed" II did ask mine" You did?"
Yes: and GOD" Go aheadr -
Life.
Glass In history: Teacher-Jamie.
can you tell me why Lincoln is called
the martyr President? Jamie2Cause
he has to stand for all the Lincoln sto-
rles.-Ex.
80 you are going TO get an automo-
bileY" Yes" answered the man who
Is always thinking of his health; 1.-The
doctor says | must walk more
Washington Star.
Mrs Fortyodd--A man is as old as
he feels, but woman is as old as she
looks. Mr. Oldbeau-Really, madam,
that doesn't apply to your case. I'm
sure.-Chlcago Daily News.
The Browning clubs of Boston: "Do
you still read Browning in Boston?"
"Oh, dear no. We all learned him
by heart long ago. We merely dis
cuss him now Chicago Record Her
aid.
Dorothy-Say, auntie, Is religion
something TO wear? Aunt Julia-My
dear, why do you ask such foolish
questions? Dorothy-'Cause papa said
you used your religion for cloak
Judge.
Fuddy-There is one thing about
Flanders that like. He never has
anything to say about his aches and
pains. Daddy-No but he's all the
time Dragging about his splendid
health.-Boston Transcript.
Miss Ascum-Wasn' that Mr.. Bonds
l saw you walking with last evening?
Miss Coy-Yes. Miss Assemblies
i landed freeholder of the county isn't
he? Miss Coy lushing)-Well-er-he
isn't quite landed yet.-Philadelphia
Press.
+ She was n teacher in one of the
/ lower classes, and she was trying to
j remind the young scholar of the letter
r. Now, Tommy, what comes at the
end of dlnner?" oh yes. ping-pong"
shouted Tommy. joyfully
! Statesman.
Tourist-Do these racing automO-
biles give you farmers much trouble?
Native-No end NV it! It's got so now
4 that when we see a dark, funeral
shaped cloud approaching We don't
know whether to run fer a gun or
cyclone cellar,-Puck.
Forgot himself: Mrs. Henpeck-We
+ hev bin married twenty years to-day.
Hiram. Hiram with a sigh)-Yes fer
twenty years we've fought Mrs.
Henpeck (scowlng)-What? You old
wretch! Hiram (quickly)-Life's bat
ties together, Mirandy.-Judge.
No call for leisure: What, you back
20 work, Pete? When | saw you fall
off the building yesterday | never ex-
pected to see you work again. Il
fought dat, too, boss. But nah wife
done let nah accident assurance ex-
piah last week. indianapolis News.
First Comedian-Did you score hit
with your new speciality? Second
Comedian-Did l? Why the audience
gazed in open mouthed wonder before
| was half through First Comedian
Wonderful! 1t Is seldom that an en-
tire audience yawns at once.-Chicago
Daily News.
"Are you the defendant asked
man in the court room, speaking to an
old negro. NO, boss" was the reply.
q amt done nothing to be called
names like that. Pse got lawyer
here who does the defensing." Then
who are your Use the gentleman
what stole the chickens"
Education, said the impassioned
orator, "begins at home" That's
where you're Off" said the calm spec
tator; "it begins in the kindergarten.
Is continued in the boarding school.
football field, Paris, London and Wall
street, and ends In either Sing Sing or
Newport. Life.
Cholly (proudly)-By Jove! I'm quite
a professor of swimming, don't you
know. | taught Mabel Galley how to
swim in two lessons. Jack-Gad, That
was a quick throwdown. Cholly lin
dignantly)-What do you mean? Jack
Why, she let me give her ten lessons
before she learned Brooklyn Life.
"The new railroad has been a great
blessing to us" says a rural exchange;
"in less than six weeks we got enough
damages out of it to build a town hall
and grade the cemetery. A few more
enterprises of this kind. and our town
will rise to heights undreamed of in
the history of new settlementsn'-At-
lanta Constitution.
Easily Explained: Nurse (of insane
asylum)-I can't make out what alls
that new patient. She keeps scream
ing, Mondays in January. first and
third Thursdays, Sunday afternoons,
.oao,l op5 fnnrtb Waduac1ouc Hna,