The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-01-18
M R:.:.s:DOOL.E#Y.
Nh. DOOley on the Carnegie Libraries {
Copyright, 1903 by R ebert Howard Russell
BY r. P. DUNE.

HAS Andrew Carnaygie given We d
| libry yet?" asked Mr. Dooley.
mot that l know w. said Mr.. Hen
| messy.
He Will" said Mr.. Dooley. "Ye'll
not escape him. Befure he dies, he
hopes to crowd a Hbry on ivry man,
woman an child in tn country. He's
given thin to cities, towns, villages,
an Whistlin' stations. They're tearin'
down gas houses an poor houses to
put up libries. Befure another year,
1Vry house in Pittsburg that amt a
blast furnace will be a Carnaygie Iibry.
LIN some places all tn buildin's is lfbr1es.
If We write him fr an autygraft, he
sinds We libry. No beggar is liver
| turned Imply handed firm tn dure. TIL
pan-handler knocks an asts FIR glass
Nv milk an a roll. No, sir" says. An
dhreW Carnaygie. I will not pauperize
this unworthy man. Nawthin' is worse
f'r beggar thin to make a pauper@iv
him. Yet it shall not be said iv me that
l give naWthin' to TIL poor. Saunders,
give him Hbry an if he still insists
on roll, tell him to roll tn libEy. FIR
I'm humorous as well as wise he SAYS
Does he give tn books that go with
?" asked Mr.. Hennessy.
'Books?" said Mr. Dooley. what
ar-are We taIkin' about? Dye know
what Hbry is? 1 suppose. we think
it's place where a man can so, haul
down wan iv- his favrite authors fr'nl
tn shelf an take a nap in it. That
not Carnaygie libry. A Carnaygie
Hbry is a large, brown-st3ne 1mpene-
thrible buildin' with tn name iv th,
maker blown on TIL dure. Libry, firm
tn Greek Wurruds, libus, a book; am
ary SildOm-sildom a book A Car
maggie libry is archytechoor, not lith-
rachoOr. LithrachcOr will lie riprisint-
ed. TIL mos cillybrated dead authors
will be honored be hayin' their names
painted on tn wall in distinguished
comp'ny, as thus: Andrew Carnaygie,
Shakespeare, Andrew Carnaygie, BY
ron, Andrew Carnaygie, Bobby Burns,
AndhreW Carnaygie, an SC on. Ivry
author is guaranteed a place mex to
pure readin' matther like a bakin' pow
dher advertisement, SC that whin a
man comes along that niver heerd iv
SHAKESPEARE, he'll know ne was some
body because there he is on tn wall
That's tn dead authors. TIL live au-
thoTs will stand outside an wish they
were dead.
He's havin' great sport with it.
Tread his speech tn other day whin
he laid tn corner stone iv tn Iibry at
Pianola, Ioway. TIL entire population
Nv this lithry cinter gathered to see am
hear him. They was tn postmaster
an his wife, tn blacksmith an his
family, tn station agent, mine host iv
tn Farmers Exchange an some sthray
live stock. Ladies an gintIemen, says
he Modesty compels me to say naw-
thin on this occasion, but am not to
be bulldozed,' he says. Il can't tell We
how much pleasure talzassJns dis
thributin monymints to- Humble
name around which has gathered so
nanny hon'rable associations with me.
silf. l have been. q very busy little man
all me life, but 1 like hard wurruk an
giVin' away me money is tn hardest
Wurruk l iVer did. 1t fairly makes me
teeth ache to part with it. But there's
wan consolation. L cheer mesiIf with
tn thought that no matther how much
money [ give, it don't do amy partic-
ular person amy good. TIL worst thing
We can do FIR amy man is to do him
good. l pass by tn organ grinder on
tn corner with a savage glare. / hate
tn monkey on tn head MhimAhes comes
up smilin' to me window an hl4rf him
down on his impecyoonyous owner.
None iv me money goes into tn little
, tin cup. | cud kick a hospital an [
lave Wall sthreet to look afther tn
widow an tn orphan. TIL submerged
TENTH thin that can't get hold iv a
good chunk iv tn goods I wud cut off
firm tn rest iV tn Wurruld an preVint
firm bearin' tn naughty name ~ papa
or tn still lOvelier name w ma. So far
| I've got ony half me wish In this mat
| Their. [ don't want poverty an crime
i to go on. l intind to stop it. But how
| It's been holdin' it's own FIR cinchries.
! Some iv TIL gr-reatest iv former minds
has undertook to prevint it an has fail
| ed. They didn't know how. Modesty
| Wud preVint me again firm JSayin' that
| | know how, but that's nayether here
nor there. l do. TIL way to abolish
poverty an bust crime is to put up a
| brown stone builGin' in ivry town in
| tn country with me name over it.
/ That's tn way. I suppose tn raison it
wasn't thried befure was that no man
| efforts is not appreciated ivryWhere. /
| offer a city a libry an oftentimes it
! replies an asks me fr something to
| pay off tn school debt. 1 rayceive de-
! graded pettyshuns firm so-called proud
| mothropolises -askin' FIR a gas house in
! place iV a Hbry. [ pass thin by with