The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-12-05
IDE GORDON, Editor of Correct Social Usage.
A Series of Plain Talks On the
Art Of Being Agreeable. J.
sesf-oulture. All rights reserved.
carpet as gust CHASTITY and your luck

carpet as Gust chastity" and your luck
at bridge whist as something fierce"
Be temperate, even to the point Of
abstemiousness. in your use Of the cur
rent slang, and give a deal Of painstak-
ing attention to the pronunciation Of your
mother tongue. These may seem very
unimportant details, but truly they are
not
Only week ago heard highly bred
woman and hostess sit in very severe
judgment upon young man who had
paid her daughter some attentions.
He looked SO like a gentleman" said
the lady, regretfully, but with firm final
ity. He bore a good name, too. one
Well known in my part Of the state, but
his speech hopelessly belied his appear
ance; simply could not ask him to my
house and introduce him to my friends"
This same young man, who would have
blushed to put his knife in his mouth or
tuck his napkin under his chin, was not
aware that 1t Is socially as essential to
use ones native language correctly as
it Is to wear clean linen and eat peas with
a fork.
He was able, honest, kind, but his
speech placed him at the greatest disad-
vantage In polite society. He was neither
coarse nor foolish but liberal use Of
slang and reckless Indifference to the
rules Of grammar put him outside the pale.
Occasionally slang is amusing and force
full, but as rule this cheap, vulgar Ian
guage of the street is to be avoided. and,
by men and women who have passed their
first youth, it should not be employed at
all.
Good, clear, simple. grammatical Eng
fish serves without ever sounding high
flown or pedantic.
-a A Fascinating Faculty.
If you wish to be universally commended
! t. 1lzS. 1onx -
look interested, smile readily, and give al
ways your real and undivided attention to
| the remarks addressed to your ear.
| Oh. the selfish and short-sighted men
and women know, who give heed only
when the conversation is interesting to
them. They answer at random, but their
glances stray about and their wits wander
where they choose. They are forever Won
dering why their social progress is slow
Nhy their popularity wanes, and nobody
pays them the compliment Of solicitous
and pleasing attention.
| Not only is this sadly common indul-
gence and mistake piece Of the grossest
rudeness, but it is as well a form of the
grossest selfishness.
Assume an interest If you have it not
and keep your eyes and your wits almost
uninterruptedly on the companion who
engages your time and your ear. There
are glances that have more wit than the
most subtle speech There is an indie.
scribable and irresistible fattery in this
that never fails to charm.
| The cleverest and most popular woman
Of my acquaintance has perfected this ART
| of making others talk their best She
knows how to be unselfsh at the right
time and pay everybody the compliment Of
a hearing. So long as you speak to her
her eyes rest on you with bright friendly
glance that Is very inspiring indeed He,
expression Is alert and friendly If thrown
in the company Of shy. silent, or egotistica
persons, she never fails to draw them out
She seems 50 willing to take seriously un
der consideration all that is said to her
So long as you talk she Is obliViOus to tn
outside world.
Verify, she has her reward. She is NOR
sought after than any five other women O
my acquaintance. She Is not wealthy
witty, nor a pretty woman, but she ha
something better than wealth, or brains
or beauty; she is unselfishly tactful.
The Triumph Of Tact. s--'
1t always triumphs.
You can learn to use tact In converse
ton just as readily as you can acquir
| the low, agreeable voice and proper Eng
lish.
Tact includes the gentle art of neve
treading verbally on other peoples toes.
For example, it was pitifully tactics
girl who blurted out at a dinner table he
opinion of stamp collectors as 'harmles
idiots
Now, the very nice man who sat on he
) right was a philalethian of no mean at
tainlents. He was digni1ed. brillian
lawyer as well, and so in love with hi
hobby that he never forgave the prett
. damsel her thoughtless remark, which wa
foolish, careless, and unl1ind, as sue
7 sweeping critical statements ever are.
r has been we'll said, SILENCE is the art