Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-10-10
LEARNING A LESSON.
BY JOEL sLorER.

Jenkins contemplates writing an arti-
Gle on what he knows about combination
safe locks. His extensive information
and scientific researches on this subject
are the result of the following humorous
incident:
Bradley has charge OF the subscription
books Of society newspaper published
near Printing House square. These books
he places In fine, large safe every night
for safety against fire, and as there is
no fear OF burglars, he does not use the
combination, but merely turns the bolts
SO that the door would not fly open IL the
safe should fall through burning build
ing into the cellar.
Now, 1t was supposed In this news
| paper Office that no man whose brains
were In the usual place would go fooling
around the combination; but Jenkins,
the magnificent Jenkins, of the beautiful
long hair and splendid mustache-Jen-
| kins, who writes nice things about the
ladies, the perfumed editor who gets up
| the fragrant editorials and those ex-
| quisite bits of gossip about fashionable
! society-this Apollo of the sanctum was
| doomed to make donkey of himself my
! his inquisitive meddling. Carelessly
| sauntering into the subscription depart
ment few evenings past. he became in
terested in Bradley's duty of putting
away the subscription books for the
night, and asked a NUM- Der of questions
why he put the boo in the sRfe why
he cid rot lock i.?--would the books be
saved If the building burned? Jenkins
became so interested r. tie egfe4v of the
books thet. urder stro 70 rneG6lesome
impulse. hc s+c~rrd ~ % he Fafe ard
turned the krob by WI ich the combina-
ton was weed
ur6er7+ia~n cdr re- Bradley,
now you haze plcved er,ae',i"
why, what's Tho ~-a.ter Bradley?
What have done?' Inquired jenkins, in
an anxious tone
Done! Why, YOU have shut up shop
and thrown the Rev away. that's what
you have done. You have locked that
safe and no one con open It,"
oh you can open it, can't you, Brad
ley? Here, I'll turn it back again like 1t
was. | only gave it little turn; did
not think it would lock-"
"The duece you didn't think it would
lock!" exclaimed Bradley, in an angry
tone. Are you an idiot, Jenkins? Why,
blast 1t all, a ten-year-old boy would have
had better sense. Don't you know that
safe locks by combination which you
can turn a thousand ways? Now you
have locked it on some unknown com
bination, and you might work for a
month on the lock without opening it."
ooh, Bradley my dear fellow, what is
to be done about it?" exclaimed Jenkins,
What's to be done about it? What
can be done about 1t, Jenkins? To-mor-
row morning dozen clerks will be at
their desks to write up the subscription
books for this weeks paper. and here
you have shut up the publishing depart
ment by your foolish meddling, which
will send the clerks off without work and
delay the mailing of the paper; and now.
with a vague idea that some fairy will
spring UP out of the floor and turn back
the stubborn bolts, you ask, What's to
be done about it?' I'll tell you what's to
be done about 1t; tomorrow morning the
safe compan$ will send that splendid
tandem team of theirs to the door and
raise the deyricks to take this large safe
out through the window to their factory,
where they will cut through the door to
throw the bolts. and. then, after the
books are gotten out and business starts
up again, the safe will be sent back with
a new door, and you will pay 5000 as the
price of your instruction in safe com
binations."
Great Jupiter, Bradley; I've got no
two hundred to pay for opening that safe.
'Ront you think. Bradley. that l might
happen on the combination if I should
work on it here all night?"
"'You might try it; perhaps you could"
replied Bradley. And so Jenkins sat
down by the safe, with his supper and
half a dozen cigars on a small table by
him, and began his scientific investiga-
lions for the night.
The next morning Bradley went down
early There sat Jenkins, snoring in the
easy chair, with his hand on the safe
knob, and the remains of his supper and
stubs of cigars on the table. Poor, tired
nature had succumbed to the exhaustive
| labors of the night, and the magnificent
| Jenkins, in a dilapidated condition, had
hopelessly given up his efforts on the
| combination at the "wee sma' hour of
three a. M, and had dropped into trou-
! bled sleep, in which he dreamed that the
safe in being lowered from the upper
window, had fallen on him and crushed
| him.
He opened his eyes and displayed a
most woebegone countenance when
Bradley entered, who said:
Hello, Jenkins, you look sick"
Eyes, Bradley. feel miserable. l am
going down to jump off the Brooklyn
bridge tower, and cap the climax of my
folly with a splash"
That's capital idea, Jenkins. and I'll
go down and see the water sseash when
you jump, if you'll only wait until open
the safe"
but you can't open it," replied Jen-
kins, opening his eyes in a wondering
manner.
Cant | though" said Bradley, in a
provoking sort Of way, as he sat down
| ~ 1. =.