The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-06-14
POSITION EMBARRASSING.
Travelling Salesman Who Thought
His Ticket Was Lost.

New York Times)
absent minded" exclaimed the
] clothing salesman, as he dealt the cards
/ to a group of his brother travellers IN
I q smoking car. Say. I'm the limit IN
/ that direction, and I haven't thorough
/ " recovered from the shock re-
ceived from my last stunt in the trance
line.
SIT was this way: About two weeks
ago. while I was trying to do some
business, and incidentally having
little sport. in a small town in Penn
sylYania. 1 got rush order from my
house in New York to report without
! delay.
'"Fhe thing couldn't have struck me
at a more inopDortune time, for the
night before I had received an awful
Jolt from the boys in the hotel, VINO had
trimmed me at poker until my roll
! looked as though it had been daIylne
/ with a Kansas cyclone. But when the
old man says rush he means II, ana
1 had to get out so early in the morn
ing that there was no time to toucn
up any of my acquaintance IN the
town After 1 had settled at the hotel
and bought my ticket--I didn't have a
mileage book. over tho road had just
/ a measly so cOppers to the good, ana d
! five-hour trip staring me in the race
The train was pretty well nlled ana
4 there wasn't vacant seat in any OF
1 the cars, so / finally planked myself
/ down alongside of stunn1ng-loohHls
! girl N about the middle of the coach'
/ I wasn't feeling any too gay under thS
circumstances, as you may imagine;
| for. aside from my shattered hnanclal
! condition I was just a trifie uneasy as
! to the meaning of the old mans tele-
/ gram to appear at headquarters post
/ haste. 1t was a toss-up in my nina
whether il meant an important COM
/ mission or a roast as things hadn
| been coming my way any too smoothly
J for some time.
| 81 tried to steer my thoughts INTO
| more cheerful channels by looking over
! a paper I had bought at the station,
and was Just becoming interested WheI
/ the forward door of the coach slammed
| and the stentOrian All tickets, please
/ of a husky conductor Jared me PACK
/ to my previous mornings. My seat
mate dug into her chatelaine bag in
| business-like way and hauled out her
( ticket without even raising her eyes
/ from the novel she was reading
/ 'sIistlessIv L reached up into my vest
| pocket to get my ticket. Funny!
| certainly thought I put my ticket III
/ that pocket I usually carried my mile
age hook there But no ticket l tried
/ the opposite upper vest pocket with the
same result. Then the two lower peck
! cts. Marry a ticket Well wei! 1
/
/ that blooming thing%
Into the inside pocket of my vest
! without result, and then dove through
| my coat pockets. But that pastepoard
! was mainly conspicuous by It's ABSENCE
| The situation was becoming decldedly
alarming by this time and all the whlle
| the conductor was working ms way
| nearer to my seat. I didn't feel DIT
| better. either. when I caught an amused
| twinkle from the side of the g1rfs eye
! next me although she apparently kept
/ on reading her book.
s'The search through my trousers
Docl1ets was fruitless. I had little
! homes of finding it there, anyway. as 1
never carry my tickets in my trousers
uOcxets Well I was completely
! stumped. and I could feel the drops or
1 perspiratiOn running down my face as
/ big as tears. This certainly was the
! worst ever. About 200 miles away from
/ home, my ticket lost, no money to pay
my fare, had never seen the conduc-
| tor before in my life, and there wash
J a soul on the car who knew me.
visions of being fred off at the first
stop as a beat and the reception L
would get from the old man if 1 ever
/ succeeded in making my way back 10
New York chased themselves through
nv mind oh, boshi' 1 exclaimed,
mentally only, that ticket is in my
! pockets somewhere, 50 here goes 10
find il,
with the desperation born of neces-
| sity and haste induced by the rapidly
! approaching conductor, I went through
those pockets like sheaf of wheat
/ through "a threshing machine. dumped
7 the contents of every pocket out into
my lap. peering into letters, and crop
ing through time tables and the other
! accumulated truck, but no use-that
ticket had flown. Whew! l wouldn {
] flvvr mir
well. whole lot A nightmare was
two weeks vacation compared to II.
THE conductor was now collecting
the tickets. from the passengers in the
seat ahead. and I was frantically going
through my pockets for long search,
hoping against hope and trying to think
of some way to convince the conductor,
who appeared to be a very unsympa-
thetic looking chap. of the honesty of
my story and my ability to pay If he
would carry me through.
Nov he was in front of me, and talk
about man-killing dragonsl That con
doomed up before me like two or three
avenging spirits. I braced myself to
reel off my little tale Of woe, and had
lust started to humble a few apollo
getic words. for I was down and out
and had completely lost my nerve
when he reached over. collected the
ticket from my seat mate, who was
giggling furiously. and then, without
turning a hair, calmly reached out his
hand and plucked my ticket from the
band of my hiatt
Wow The reaction was something
awful I just simply collapsed, and
hone never to feel so cheap again. But
when I recovered my equilibrium suf
hciently to find my way into the buffet
you can lay your last dollar that I in
vested that 50 cents to the best advan-
tage incidentally, I finished the trip
IN the smoker. as the memory Of that
giggle still haunted me-"