The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-07-05

Hello, Bossi Long time don't see you. We'll. we has only come back from our wedding joiney to 'forn parts. and has been rubbering little old New York.
 No. not Duchess and my wedding joi- ney; Miss Fannie's and MT. Paurs. surel Wasn't telling you dat just as soon as MT. Burton-what was Miss Fannie's first husband-had solved two years in heaven, dat Mir Paul made running jump at de proposition. and married Miss Fannie be- fore she could get her guard up? It was de foist time In his life dat MT. Paul ever got move on. an puts It up dat Miss Fannie was afraid dat if she didn't sign articles and get into de ring wit him, he'd die of compressed commotion. Whats dat? Emotion? Well, let 1t lay at dat. She took him. so Duchess says, to keep him out of mischief; but Willy Widdy ism married and dere is no speeks In her glad eye. Anyway. Miss Fannie took MT. Paul, and me and Duchess took bote of 'em on wedding joiney to de form part where folks speaks de same kind of dago lan- guadge Duchess speaks.
 "Listen: tumbles soon after we landed over dere, and before I'd located de Bow cry of Paris, dat bote Miss Fannie and MT. Paul meant to go to bunch of od- der places besides France. but Duchess fiim-fiamed de game Duchess was one, two, tree in Paris from de drop of de flag; but I was only also ran, until struck dose sidewalk book joints on de boulevard of desc Italians.
 Now dat we Is in a Christian land, Chames,' says Duchess, let us stop here, If we has de wit for to do so witout los- ing our jobs
 "so. whatever is dc Bowery and he Bronx, de East and de Mort rivers of Paris, dose was de limits of de wedding joiney,
 "Chames," says Mr. Paul to me one day, having seen here forty two miles of pictures we is going for to take lit- tie run Into de mountain, for me soul, ," he says, ''iongs for feast Of de beauti- full" he says. Resolve us places on de train for Lucerne"
 Sure" I says. YIn minute,' I says But wasn't wise wedder Lucerne was in de Cherry Hill or de Murray Hill district of France, so I goes to Duchess and tells her to get me in line
 'Lucerne? Bah" says Duchess. ''Lu- cerne is of Switzerland, BahF'
 Sure" says, Bah, bahp'
 Is we not n BaflSI' Sle says. DdI B as near heaven as we'll ever get, without going to de trouble of dying. We'll stay here. If Paris" she says, lis good enough for us what has been married five years, of a surely it Is good enough for Mam'zelle Fannie and M'sieu Paul, what has only been married five weeks, and do not know where dey Is at, yet. Kesky say Lucerne? Pour quoi Lu- cerne?' she says. "Au diable Lucerne!" I. 14xrd do ord postal of my good friend de wife of de excellent chef of de Restaurant of de Miraculous Catch of Fish, on de bank of de Seine, a de sheeny a la fourchette to be solved on de veranda to Nam zelle and M sieu, and to you and me in de cuis- inc. Oats where we'll go. Lucerne? A basl Lucerne."
 And dats what we done. Lucerne was to de bah.
 Now and den Mir Paul sat up and took notice dat we was still in Paris, and he'd order me to get 'em ready to go some where else But Duchess would have plant all ready to queer de game, and mostly MT. Paul and Miss Fannie was too happy to know wedder dey was on de up- town, or de downtown train, or was talk ing a Lexington Av'noo car to go up Broadway.
 Once MT. Paul woke up enough to ask me why we was not on de way to Lucrene, and I told him dere was ice on de told rail- but we'd be off in de morning if dere was no strike of de Pullman porters and de road was clear. So chase to Duchess and says, What t'ell?" I says. Que dia- ble?" says I.
 Simple comme un verre d'eau'-which is Paris for dead easy''-she says. And we chases down to de Rue de Rivoli and buys a hotel guide of de Swiss mountains, t,, dafr
 "Iti'll do dem just as much good as go- ing dere," says Duchess. "and not do me near as much harm"
 Is Duchess a bold? What? Honest If dat goil ever lost her noive dere wouldn't be enough of her left to speak of
 Now dat M 'sieu Paul Is to be our new master" says he, i've must start in to train him proper at de beginning, so as he will never get no foolish notion dat he has a right to do anything much but love Nam zelle, and pay de bills.'
 Say. I'm passing 1t along to you on de level; dat was de way 1t was all de time we was in form parts. But aint making no holler on dat score If it wasn't so far from de Bowery, Paris would be near as easy to waltz tru as de Tenderloin. It's cheap to be happy in Paris. De amount of booze dat wouldn't stop an American tink- ing about his debts, will start French man bragging about his rich relations and giving away brownstone fronts he don't own.
 But I was going to tell you: I had knock down to Duchess folks. Well, well! dat was merry-go-round for fair. Dere was ladder and modder, sister and brod- der an gomodder. Every last one of de whole bunch kissed me on bote cheeks and talked noting but French! Along wit