Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-06-17

Wal leu up from DonlQd a newspaper.
Tk;S indicated that vulnerable spot
had been reached, and the offender
could easily be identified by her
serene and baby-faced expression
On The back platform stood Tim Kelly
moodi.y wondering what would be the
outcome of his trial, which was on
that days calendar, Kelly had been
identified by the discriminating per-
sonal effects which he had left behind
III Hartzell & Co.'s office. He had
given bail, so that he might have
time to spend all his unhampered
energies toward fl ng UP a convenient
a,ibi.
At Wall street an important young
man, carrying bankers hand satchel
boarded the car. Tins hungry eyes
at once began to feed upon the satchel
lie needed money. Here was money
It almost seemed to him as though
Providence was on his side.
At Chambers street the young man
with the satchel left the car Just as
he was descending from the step Tim
accidentally fell sprawling upon him
The hand satchel for a moment lay
unclaimed between the car tracks. 1t
took Tim longer than that infinitesi-
nal space of time to seize the satchel
end start for the river front. His
Ioanner was so imperious that the
gathering ring of spectators made a
respectful passage for this man with
lnn satchel
After successfully throwing off all
pursuit Tim reached the river front
ard opened the satchel, with his ex-
pectations raised to a point where the
surplus exceeded the capital stock.
He picked a bundle Of typewriter pa
pers from the satchel, and his expecta-
tons Immediately skipped to divi-
dend The satch I'll contained nothing
but legal documents Tim danced few
measures on the pier, accompanying
himself with a choice vitriolic melody.
After somewhat relieving his feel
ings in this manner, he threw the
satchei, papers and all, far out into
the silent stream.
There is only one thing in this I'M
sympathetic world more aggravating
than to have fond hopes suddenly
dashed to the ground. The exception
is when man gets left after he has
conclnsively assured himself that he
will expect nothing
The case of the People, ETC.. VS.
Timothy Kelly was before the court
tempting to reconcile the majesty OF
theSaw with the fact that he had dined
unwisely at a political dinner the
night before. In the jury box sat the
most remarkable aggregation of in
tellect that the prosecuting attorney
had ever had the felicity to behold
Tim Kelly sat by the side of his law
yer, as virtuous looking a citizen as
one would meet at church fair.
Tins lawyer was addressing the
court.
Your Honor" said he, "my clerk
telephoned me some time ago that
some one mad stolen the satchel he
was bringing up here and which con-
tanned all my papers in this case.
requested my clerk to make a com
plant to the police and then to come
up here and testify regarding the
matter, so that you may kindly grant
our side an adjournment to enable us
to make up our case again"
While the lawyer was thus address
ing the court, his clerk quietly enter
ed the room.
81 say" remarked the clerk to the
Prosecuting attorney, "the police nab
bed him in short order, eh?"
''NaDbed whom?" asked the other.
"Why the man who stole my satchel
about an hour ago, sitting there by
the boss"
"Ho-ho!" remarked the other. sud
denly seeing light. "Ho-ho!" re re
peated. "And you are positive about
his IDENTIFY"
Sure" replied the clerk, wonder
ingly. "I'd know him anywhere
That is how it happened that after
the clerk had testified about the loss
of his satchel, the prosecuting at
torney put the witness through lit
tie cross examination.
That. again, is how it happened that
Timothy Kelly is sporting a striped
suit and shifting stones with mallet
under the fatherly care Of the State
Nov, Vor1y ICvonino Sun