The Savannah morning news., 1903-02-09
UNCLE MING0 ON
SWEARING OFF

"Humph" grunted Uncle Mingo;
"how bout dat good resolution wot you
tell me you swear off de fuss O de year
not to drink no mo-? Std o wich, here
it is hardly mo- den a mont gone by"
90" said the waiter. II has resume
takin' a 'casonal glass some tree or 70
weeks ago. hol off jis' bout as long
as I spec l would wen l swear off.
After all, don't see much use cen dis
swearin' off business"
'You's right" said Uncle Mingo
"leas' ways. not dat kin O. swearin' off.
My idee bout it is dat wen a Teller
I'm he S dom sumpin he ought to stop,
he got business to stop it right deere
wedder it's de fuss O. de year. or de las
O. de year, or de middle ode year. An
stop 1t permanent for good"
AT de same time" said the waiter
its true dat a Teller does vase whole
lot oh money one way an anudder witch
he could sabe to heap better use"
No doubt bout dat" said Uncle
Mingo; AN dat min me o wot de min
lister say one day out to Postum Holler
After meetin' he was talkln' to tree
or TO OBJ us an he git on dat same
question: o. sabin' money.
" 'Brudder Mingo,' he say to me, II
you had start wen you was young
man an sabe UP at compoun' intrus'
all dem nickels an dimes wot you spen's
on smokin' an drinkin, by dis time
you'd be ownin' a fine house an lot,
an hab ten tousan' dollars cen de bank
" Maybe so. sah.' l say. maybe so.
But / say, here is Brudder Peawine,
Wot don't neider smoke nor neider
drink. He is jis as OLE say, as wot
is, an yet he amt got as much house
an lot as l got; an I'll bet you a plug
o. tobacker,' l say, dat he amt got
nothin' TAN cen de bank 'cep' two or
tree peck o. taters an half o. dem rot
ten.
AT dat dey all laugh. an Brudder
Peawine say OATS de trut.'
Il see one time cen de paper were dey
was Teller standin' on de street cor
ner an strikin' match on de lamp
pos to light a fine twenty-cent cigar.
Come along one o. desc long black coat
chaps wot consider it DER special mis-
sion to reform ebblebody else.
My frien',' he say to de Teller
lightin' de cigar, did you ebber pause
an consider dat if you was to sabe
de money you trows away cen smok-
you'd own dat buildin' cross de
street,"
DE Teller look at him chlizzical like
My dear sir he say, L does own dat
buildin' cross de street. Were is your
buildin'?'"
Did he own it sure 'nough?" asked
the waiter
Dunno wedder he did or not" an
swered Uncle Mingo; but dat amt
de pint. De pint is, de buildn' was
jis as APP to be own by man who
smoke, as by one who didn't
II had a very funny 'sperince wild
ne Kunnel out to Postum Holler seberal
years ago. On a New Years, long
bout de middle o. de day, de Kunnel
dribe up to my house cen his buggy,
an call me out.
Happy New Years, Mingo,' he say.
an here is a present for YOU at de
same time handin' me a two-gallon
dimij John.
"'rankee kin'ly, sah,' say.
:" It's good liquor he say, an
amt use much out de dimijohn yet
But de trut' is,' he say I have swear
off, an / don't want to hab it lynn
roun' de house so l glib it to YOU
:" Wat sah!' I say. you swear off,
Kunnel? How's dat?'
Well, he say, you see my wife
Is all de time at me bout drinkin' too
much an was'in' so much money, an
it's fac dat it does cos a good deal;
so | make up my min I'd make her
New Years present by swearin off
to-day, an glib her de chance she want
to sabe sumpin. But he say YOU
hasn't swear off. has your
" No sab, not yet l say, an IL
had swear off, / say, I'd suspen' judg-
ment long as dat dimijohn was on
ham,
HE laugh an say he's fraid is
harden ole sinner, an he guess he'll
hab to SEN de preacher after me, an
den he dribe off.
two weeks after dat TO he come roun'
again bout he same time o. day.
Mingo, he say, has you got any
o. dat liquor lef'?'
Yes sahg' 1 say. I hasn't touch it
VERY hebby.'
well he say. Il wish you'd 90
cen an po' me out a good stiff drink
" Suttingly sab. Of cose,' l say, but
I fought you had swear OFF,
You git de liquor fus,'" he say,
an I'll tell you about 1t afterwards
80 go an bring out de drink. an
down she goes.
You see, Mingo,' say he Kunnell,
snlackin' his mout,' wen I gone home
dat day, tell de missis done swear
off drinkin.. she say she was mighty
glad to hear 1t. an were was dat
big demijohn I had jis git from
town. / tell her / had glib dat to you
L
ought to be shame to put temptation
cen de way of dat po' ignorant no
count ole niger.
" Two days after dat de Kunnel
say, she tell me she had order a new
carpet for de parlor-sebenty dollars.
Times is hard, / say, crops po, an
money sca'ce. 7 know, she say, but
look at de money we's sabin' now
sence you stop drinkin'. so say all
right.
" Bout two days after dat again.
she came to me wild a bill for cloaks
for de gals-forty odd dollars. Gracious
goodnes, | say, you tell me early cen
de winter de gals could make out wild
DER same old cloaks. So I did, she
say, but really dey is lookin' shabby,
an den l consider all de money we's
sabin' sence you stop drinkin. So
dat had to pass.
"'A few mo- days gone by, an wen
/ gone home one ebenin' she tell me she
had a call endurin' de day from a bug
gy drummer, wot was trablin' for a
house cen town. Our ole buggy is
gittin' VERY rickety she say, so I tell
him to ship us out nice new one:
1t was 90 cheap. only ninety-eight dol
lars. Very good, ] say; but were is
de money to come from? % OATS all
right she say; all you got to do is to
consdeR how much we's sabin' seem
you's stop drinkin.' I was all upset.
Mingo. say de kunnel, but you know
how dc missus is: an cose dere wasn't
nothln for me 20 DO
We'll he say. 'dere didn't nothin'
mo- transpire on De subjec ontell dis
mornin'. Dis mornin' de nnissis an de
al Qlta r9unt nev rUaufa a