Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-04-21

Ping-pong shows that there are, after
all. hsalthful uses for even a fashion
able lining-room tab.e-Punch.
Retearsing: HE combs his hair diff
ferentiy every time" YES. he hasn't
learned his part. Yale Record.
SOC you think you need wife?"
yes well, nothing but marriage
win dispel that illusionr-Pucx.
Tho bar 10 riches: More men would
be rich if money were as hard to spend
as itAis to earn.-Chicago News.
Wife-"I found out something to-day
that I promised never 10 tell" Rus-
bant-"Well. so ahead; I'm listening"
Chicago Daily News.
He-"Ani now suppose I'll have to
ask your fathers consent?" She--"Not
at ali; lust ask mamma She'll take
care sof papa. Judge.
Tase example: Customer Cat res
tauranh-"Can I see the proprletor?'
Waiter-"Very sorry, sir, he's just
stepped out to eh."-Judge
"Uncle William. are you troubled
about the hereafter?" mo. sub; it's
de wharfo err ed herein what keeps
me Alessinr'-Atlanta Constitution.
Il shink it is silly to pick up a pin"
"Oh,sI don't know! l know a fellow
that makes S. week picking up pins
"Gete outr Yes; he works in a bowl
ing slley."
Arthur would marry that girl but
for one thing" Chester Afraid to
pop the question:" Arthur-"No.
Afrsd to question the pop."-Town
and yountry.
Pow did your daughter do at the
graduation exercises?' '.Spendid.'
declared Mrs. Torque; why, she was
the Chest dressed girl there"- Balti-
moro Herald.
BlTbson-"I understand that South
American general has resolved to sell
his aife dearly" Glibson-"Yes; he
wanis ten dollars for the library edi-
tion. Judge.
Ping-"Some women novelists have
SACeA HOMtI VI uAtAlbu- LII
thess home life I'll bet they show still
greFter power of contradictions Ball
timore Herald.
Fi7st Darkey-"Dat's de mos con-
yeneanest arranged farm | eber seen"
Second Darkey-"Dats so. De chicken
house am located In the watahmilyun
patch. Judge.
Blonde Brldesmald-"Th ushers
havs nt seated your Aunt Maria with
the Family" Other Bridesmaid Sister
to the bride)-"No. she sent only a
pickle fork."-Life.
TIE Bully! Wen have
reaE horses, a real brook, real hens and
geese, and real hay" The Author
And would you mind having real
actors, tooT'-Life.
A9otheI-"Yes. Bobby; any man in
this country can be President" Bobby
Gosh. what a lot of Holsters there
ares who seem to prefer working for
TIVE dollars a day. Judge.
80 you want my daughter?" growled
the old man. Can you support fam
ily9" Whats the matter?' demanded
the sutton susplciously: ARE you out
Of Eyork ?-Seattle Sunday Times.
february IA: Mistress $50 you want
me, to read this love-ietter to you?"
Msid-"If We PLACE. nam. And I've
brCAught We some cottonwood We can
stuff in yer ears while we read it!'--
Punch.
II tell you that poet is a genius" "a
genius? Why his stuff is the worst |
ever read" II know" "But why do
yos call him a geniusg' Because he
succeeds in selling Philadelphia
Record
AIrs. witherby Cat breakfast,-"Are
yoe well?" Witherby-"Ye Why?"
Mrs. wltherby-"Yo look changed.
SUI pose l notice 1t more than those
who are with you constantly. Har-
pe-'s Bazaar.
she--"After all what is the differ
erae between illusion ana deIusonp
IA ILLUSION is the lovely fancies we
hke about ourselves; deluslon is the
foolish fancies other people have about
ttfmselyes."-
Ocular Passenger Ito train robber)-
"When you say Hi, therer | suppose
you mean you're after a raise2" The
R9bber-"Yep, an 1t also means you'd
better watch out. an be burned quick
ABOUT it."-Chicago Daily News.
gassidy-"Shtop kickln' about yer
herd luck, mani Some mornin' yen
wske up an End yersel' famous"
CSsey-"Faith, on bet ye whln thot
mornin' comes twill be me luck TO
oyersiape meseF. 7-Philadelphia Press.
FLOW old is your baby?' asked one
Of the nelghbors. WELL said the
Missouri farmer, rejecting a moment,
'gse was born the last time we had
tl.em seventeen-year locusts. You kin
Eager It up fur yourself. Chicago
Tribune.
Silmson--'T hear you have been
hghting that little boy next door, and
that he whipped you. How did that
kappen?7 Willie-''Well, hes going to
give a party next week, and was
AFRAID If | licked him he wouldn't in
vite me."-Harper's Bazaar.
kFather Ito the seyen-year-old son be-
SIDE him In the dog-cart, cutting the
whip sharply through the air)-"See.
Tommy, how l make the horse go faster
without striking him at ALL Tommy
in an eager tone Of happy discovery
--.'Papa. why don't you spank US chill
Gren that way ?"-Tit-B'ts.
The Real Condition.
Tho teacher OF grammar and rhetoric