The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1903-06-11


Mrs. Henpeck-Wasn't he we'll off
before he got married? Henpeck-Cer-
tainly, my dear. Every man is.-New
York Sun.
Funny thing about self-made men,"
whats that?" "They never have
daughters who care for self-made
dresses. "-Philadelphi Press.
Teacher-Can you tell me where the
Mississippi River rises, Johnnie? John
nie-Along it's entire length. ma'am.-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Disconnected Artist wish l had a
fortune. | would never paint again.
Generous Brother Brush-By Jove! old
man, l wish l had one! I'd give it to
you!
What do you expect to be when
you become of age, my little man|
asked the visitor. "Twenty-on" sir"
was the bright ones reply.-Yonkers
Statesman.
She-The duke has landed estates,
has he not? He-Rather! Landed one
|
managed to run through 'em all.-Bos-
ton Globe.
Are Mrs. Vests entertainments
very exclusive" "Well, l should say
so; she intends to make application to
have the conversation of her guests
copyrightedw
Deacon Cobbs-William, If your faith
er should have $40 and some one should
give him S., what would he have?
William-Nothing. But ma would have
new hat.-Chicago News.
"What do you put on your face after
shaving?" asked the man who smelled
of bay rum. Court plaster. usually
replied the nervous chap. gloomily.-
Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.
Parson-Tm sorry to find your en-
ployer has been playing golf on Sun
day. Caddle-He wasn't playing golf.
Parson-Ah, then | have been mistak-
en- Caddie-Yes! He was just trying.
Mrs. Upson-"Your grandfather is an
octogenarian. is he not?" Mrs. Neu-
rich-"Indeed, he isn't anything Of the
kind. He is the most truthful man
ever bumped up against.
Daily, News.
She How long have you been living
in New York? He-Oh, came up here
about the time they began digging up
the streets for the subway. She-Have
you been here as long as that?-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
He Oitterly)-Your answer would be
different if | were rich enough to show
err you with golden eagles. Shelf
might be different. possibly, If you
should cover me so completely that l
couldn't see.-New York Weekly.
Ned-Fm dreadfully worried abb
my debts. Jack-It must be very an
noyng to be continually dunned. Ned
oh, hang the duns! What worries
me is the fact that | can't get ar
more credit.-Kansas City Journal.
THAT man," said the Guilford avenue
conductor, lis as inconsistent as he is
ungrateful." "Why, what is the matter
now?" "Why, tother day he made a
strap, and now he's growing be-
cause he can't find strap. "-Balti-
more News.
Miss Youngthyng-And what wo' d
you say. George. if | were to tell you
| didn't believe one word you say re-
garding the lasting qualities Of your
affection? George would say that
YOU are far too wise for any ordinary
man TO marry. Goodbye altimore
American.
UTpgardson-"On the strength Of your
recommendation lent Bilcombe S. the
other day, and now | find he's con-
tirmed deadbeat that never pays his
debts. You told me he was a man of
established reputation" Atom-"So he
is. That's the reputation he has estab-
lished. "-Chicago News.
From an authors notebook: Sold one
poem and had five returned. Made al
most enough to pay the butcher. Sold
a short story, and came within an ace
of making enough to pay ten dollars on
the grocery bill. Wrote an obituary on
an ancient citizen and had Maria's
shoes mended with the proceeds.
must try and write enough tonight to
buy a gallon of Kerosene OIL believe
there's money in the literary business,
but it's not so sure as that which comes
from splitting rails.-Atlanta Consti-
tuition.
Fond Mother-Now. look here.
Coouro 7 uapt Won RI hraaE off with
that girl. She is very pretty and all
that; but know her too well to want
you to risk your life and happiness by