The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-01-06
HERE N THERE.

She-"Why don't you go out occa-I
sionally, dearest, and enjoy yoursslf.I
say at the club?" Ee-"But l dCn'tl
want to get into the habit of having al
good time."-Life-
Wonders will never cease! A man inl
Montana says he refused q So, SOC. uCtl
bride. And then some people Want toI
say there are no honest people in thisI
country.-Durham Sun.
An examination of the Honduras eleC-I
ton returns shows that the votes cast
exceeded the total population of tn1l
country by 10000. Honduras is evI-l
IDENTIFY trying to be the Pennsylvania of
Central Observation-Disclosures POST.
Judge-"If you want to max vpur-l
self solid with Ethel's mother don't fall
to eat some Of the biscuits she makes |
Fudge-'I've eaten some. and frsn.l
their weight aid hardness I'm sure Iv-i
made myself solid all rIght',-BaIrimoreI
Herald.
Whose voice did he like best, yoursI
or mine?" asked Miss Kreech. TN notl
quite sure" replied Miss Bird. his re-
marks were a bit ambiguous" 'Nhy,l
what did he say?" He said he liked
my voice, but that yours WIS better
stin."-Philadelphia p SIS.
Did you ear about tina member of
the Legislature who wants to pass a Jaw|
requiring a physicians certificate before
people can kiss?" said Maud. {" Yes
made a man produce proof THAI he IS
sane before they let him INTO the legis-
lature. '-Washington Star
President Gompers' testimony that
the coal operators import foreigners To-
work in the mines appears to navel
aroused the ire Of the operators. whO|
charge it all up to the steamship COM
panies. All the same, the circumstan-
tial evidence seems to put it on the Oh
erators.-BoSton Herald.
You seem to have lost interest in
the mothers meetings" suggested the
woman w n aimed to make the world
better. oh, no." replied tke young
matron who had been a regular attend
ant for some time. Il haven I lost i'll
tereSt in them. but Tn a real and not
merely a theoretical mother now, and l
haven't time to go.-Chlcago Post
If MAJOR B. G. Mcdowell, late Of the
Sixty-second regiment North Carolina
state trooIs Civil war; and enlisted
from Macon county, and Colonel r. u.
A. Love, of the same regiment, who en-
listed from Haywood county, are liVlnS,
they'll learn something of interest to
them by corresponding with Mr.. Thomas
Dixon. 81 Third street, Grand Rapids,
MISUNDERSTANDING Citizen.
That was a great speech you made
to the jury" Yes replied the men,
Der of the bar; but they convicted he
man. One of the jurymen explained
that fact to me. He said his cctlea gus
put their heads together and concluded
that there must be something wrong
about the prisoner, or he wouldn't have
felt it necessary to hire so expensive a
MISREPRESENTATION Star.
The death on Saturday of Mrs. Jessie
Benton Fremont, coming So o o after
that Of Mrs. Grant. completes a series
Of curious condolences in in the life
stories Of two famous women. In age
but two pears separated them. Both
were Missourians, though Mrs. Fremont
was born III Virginia. Both married
army lieutenants who became military
heroes" n republican presidential
nominees. Both spent their declining
years mainly in California, with whose
history both had been identified.-New
York World.
The New York aldermen are still
wrestling with the parlor match Prob
lem. The board i day Or two g con-
sidered an ordinance requiring "a match
box in each room. placed five and a
half feet from the floor" P~resu1:ahly
the householders will be permitted to
select the color schemes of the match
boxes so as to harmonic with the wall
paper and the furniture. Another pro-
vision Of the bill is that children IN
der ten years of age shall not be per-
mitted to play with or use matches OF
any kind" This restricting of parents
IN the playthings they may give to their
children is eminently worthy of the
p%aternal board of city fath=rs."-S ga
vannah News.
A West Point cadet recently resigned
from the military academy because he
did not relish the prospect of a four
year grind of studies as a preliminary
to obtaining a l~ieutenant'S commission
He thereupon enlisted as a private sci.
der, in the Fourth cavalry, and is o
hard at work grooming his horse and
performing the more or less mental SER
vice required of the enlisted man at ar
army post. His father is commander OF
the troop to which he has been assign
ed. His parents approve of his course
his purpos being to apply in two year,
under the regulations for a keutenant's
commission and then take the competi-
tive examination required. If success
full he will obtain q commission nearly
two years earlier than he would If he
had gone through West Point This viii
mean the advantage of many numbers
in the army list over his late class
mates, the attainment of promotion!
more speedily and perhaps retiremen
from active duty with a higher ranl
than if he had gone through the regu'
lar process.-Washington Star.