davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
THE MEN AND WOMEN
Who Enjoy the Choicest Products
Of the Worlds Commerce.
knowledge OF What IL Best More Inn.
portant Than Wealth With
out 1t.

It must be apparent to every one that
qualities of the highest order are neces-
sary to enable the best of the products OF
modern commerce to attain permanently
to universal acceptance. However loudly
heralded, they may not hope for worldwide
prominence unless they meet with the
general approval, not Of individuals only.
but of the many who have the happy
faculty of selecting, enjoying and learn
Ing the real worth Of the choicest prod
ucts. Their commentator, consequently.
becomes important to others, since to
meet the requirements of the well In
formed of all countries the method OF
manufacture must be of the most per-
feet order and the combination the most
excellent of its kind. The above Is true
not Of food products only. but Is espe-
cially applicable to medicinal agents and
after nearly a quarter of a century of
growth and general use the excellent
remedy. Syrup of Figs, is everywhere
accepted, throughout the world, as the
best of family laXatives. Its quality Is
due not only to the excellence Of the
combination of the laxative and carmin-
alive principles of plants known to act
most beneficially on the system and pre-
scented in the form of a pleasant and re-
freshing liquid, but also to the method
OF manufacture of the California Fig
Syrup Co., which ensures that uniformi-
ty and purity essential in a remedy in
tended for family use. Ask any physi-
clan who Is we'll informed and he will
answer at once that 1t is an excellent
laxative. If at all eminent in his pro-
fession and has made a special study Of
iaxatives and their effects upon the sys-
tenn he will tell you that 1t Is the best
of family laxatives, because 1t is SIM
pie and wholesome and cleanses and
| Gvun t1o CT ,1,avp
q laxative is needed. without any I'M
| pleasant after-effects. Every well-in-
formed druggist Of reputable standing
knows that Syrup of Figs Is an excel
lent laxative and is glad to sell It. at
the regular price Of fifty cents per bot
tie. because It gives general satisfac-
ton. but one should remember that in
order to get the beneficial effects of
Syrup Of Figs 1t is necessary to buy the
genuine, which Is sold in original pack
ages only: the name Of the remedy
Syrup of Figs and also the full name of
the Company-California Fig Syrup Co.
printed on the front Of every package.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
HOW'S THIS?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
case of Cattarrh that can not be cured by Hans
Catarrh Cure.
We the undersigned. have known f. J. Cheney
for the past II years, and believe him perfectly
honorable in ali business transactions and fn-
ancally able to carry outany obligations made
BY their firm.
WEST 4 TRUAX,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo,
WALDING kINNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally acting
directly on the blood and mucous urfaces OF
the system. Price 75c per bottle. Sold BY all
druggists. Testimon al S free.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Used to It,

Towne-You don't mean to say you
didn't notice that earthquake shock?
B"owne-I guess 1 was home in Aigu-
hurst at the time
Towne-But the shake must have
been perceptible there.
Browne-I guess all of US took it for
our malaria Press.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16

Pe.ru.na Preventative and Cure for Colds
Mr.. G. F. Given, Sussex, N. B., Vice
President of "The Pastime Boating
Club" writes:
"Whenever the cold weather sets in
have for years past been very sure to
catch severe cold, which was hard to
throw off, and which would leave alter
effects on my constitution the most oil
the winter.
"Last winter I was advised to try
Peruna, and within five days the cold
was broken up and in five days more
was we'll man. I recommended it to
several of my friends and all speak the
highest praise for it. There Is nothing
like Peruna for catarrhal Affections:
1t is we'll nigh infaIIible as a cure, and
gladly endorse it."-C. r. Given.
Appointment Singer Saved From Loss Of
- Voice,
Mr.. Julian Weissitz, It's Seneca
street, Buffalo, N. Y, is corresponding
secretary of The Sangerlust, of New
York; is the leading second bass of
the Sangerlust, the largest German
singing society of New York and also
the oldest.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
WHEN HE PROPOSED.
Word "Cataclysm" Nearly Wrecked
His / m passioned AvOwal.

His I'm passioned Avowal.
As Mr.. Blinks paced to and fro with
In the limits Of his SX1O chamber, 1t
would have been evident to the most
casual observer that the mild Of the
young man was greatly perturbed.
Upon his broad forehead the finger Of
anxiety had traced wrinkle and his
abundant hair was disheveled where
his hands had grappled it in the stress
of the problem he faced. AS he paced
the floor he occasionally muttered to
himself, but the mutterings seemed de-
void of meaning. At last he CHANGED
to observe his own ref elton in the
front of it, he addressed his imaged
self:
You are nice party, you are! A
nice apol gy for nothing in particular!
You are six feet high and built accOl d.
ingiy. and you are afraid of bit OF
feminnity that stands five feet nothing
in It's French boots! Yes, you are; 1t
is useless for you to deny | know you,
you great, Overglown coward; YOU y Sc
as being somebody, but you are mere
bluff. You swell around and Try to keep
up the pretense until you meet five feet
nothing, and then-
Mr.. Blinks abruptly ceased talking
and modify walked from the mirror.
Again he ran his hand through his hair
and after that violently bit his mus
tache for time. Then he again spoke:
'I'l do 1t. If die for it, l Will. |
will go over this very evening and have
the thing settled once and for all. No
body shall longer have an opportunity
to say that l am afraid of a lawn dress
and its contents. l will summon my
courage to the sticking point. Here
goes"
A half-hour later Mr.. Blinks, still
chewing his mustache. was sitting in Il
small and cozily appointed parlor
awaiting the arrival of five feet nothing
Oh the scene. The little lady took her
time and the young man in his nervous
tension suffered accord ngly. Seconds
seemed minutes and minutes seemed
!
rustic OF a drls was heard and she
whom he awaited appeared.
Mr.. Bl,nks said to h mself that he
dared not wait lest he should fall by
the wayside. So he drew long bl cath,
summoned courage from the deep and
hidden recesses of his nature and, al
most before the young lady fairly was
seated, took the decisive plunge.
Mary" said the young man, as he
nerved himself to the effort, you must
ere now have observed the condition
Of my feelings. You must long ago
have felt how l have seen-that is, you
must long ago have seen how l have
felt. You must know the emotions
| with which l look upon you. When
am with you l feel as If my entire IA,
ture had undergone a complete clata-
cysm-that is. complete kityclasm-
or, should say, catechism. Mary, what
l wish to say is that in Your presence
feel that my nature has und ,rgone a
complete caZzykit-Mary. complete
lizzyclat-a cleempote climmypaz-
"Mr. Blinks!' low, sweet voice in
terrupted him.
Yes, Mary"
Don't you think you might get along
better If you would skip the word cata
clysm and go right on?"
SO he skipped the word. says the
New York Times. and everything went
along too beautifully to lie told.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
II Couldn't Be.

The other morning little Howard got
up unusually cross. Roy tried to play
with him, but at last he became impa.
tient and said:
81 guess you got up on the wrong
side of the bed" Little Howard
promptly replied:
"No, 10y. l dot up on mammals
side."
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Just What Happened.

penelope" eaid the anxious mother.
"tell me truly, did Charles kiss you
last night?"
"There was slight labial juxta-
position as Charles took his leave,
mother, but assure you it was only
momentary and therefore inocuous.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Between Friends.

"I'm getting tired of boarding
houses" said the young man who parts
his hair in the middle. "I've half q
mind to get married."
"Of course" growled the old bachel-
or. cit takes just about that amount
of mind to think of such fool thing"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Long Time a Postmaster,

The dean Of fourth-class postmasters
is Milo 7. Winchester, of South Amen
ia, N. Y, who has been in office fifty.
four years, having been appointed July
10, 1849. The salary of his position is
$133 per year, and there has never been
a complaint against his office.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Satisfied With Dogs Warming.

When dog entered the cell of Maur-
ice Bouche, imprisoned at Lille,
France, and under sentence OF death
for the murder of a woman, and licked
his hand. on the morning of the day OF
execution, the murderer, who had all
along protested his innocence, and ex-
pressed confidence in reprieve, imme-
diately prepared for death.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Making II EASY.

any Dear Sir" wrote the editor to
the persistent young author, Gin order
to simplify matters somewhat we are
enclosing bunch OF our declined
with thanks notices. If you will put
one of these in an envelope with your
manuscript and mail it to yourself it
will make it easier for all of US, and
you will be saving something in post
age az WE'LL"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Had All He Wanted.

81 don't like yer story" said the
Billville reader.
"Maybe not now" replied the auth
or, "but it will grow OH you"
81 hope not" was the reply, "fer
I've got three carbuncles now" AT
lanta Constitution.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16

All the Worlds a 'POthecary Shop.
sezso-Ruyter is not All author; he's
a born chemist.
Tizso-Why?
Sezso-Every novel he writes becomes
drug on the market.-Brooklyn
Eagle.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
The InS and Outs Of II.

els your master in?" asked the cal
Ter of the servant at the door.
"Deed, sub, don't know TO- sure"
."Can't you find out?"
"Well, sub, it's dis way: Eff yo'
come to pay dat SIS yo' borrowed of
him, he say he's in jes' dat much; but
Of yo' come to borrow some mo-, he say
he's out all he's gwine ter be, subj"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Ambition Realized

When Andrew Carnegie was COM
PEELED to borrow dollar to place in
contribution box the other night it
must have been the happiest moment
of his life. At last his great ambition
had been realized. He was penniless.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Thwarted Them.

"Why did old Rollingold give away
all his money!"
"He was afraid his relatives would
have him adiudged incapable of taking
care of it,"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Latakia Tobacco.

Latakia tobacco obtains its peculiar
flavor through being sprinkled with
water and allowed to ferment after
thorough fumigation with the smoke of
resinous aromatic wood grown in Syria,
states consular report.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
A Different State.

Towne-Fleiman' home for . short
trip from his new ranch in Texas.
Browne-Yes, saw him.
Towne-He's go full of Texas he
can't talk of anything elee.
Browne-When l saw him I noticed
that he couldn't talx of anything, but l
thought it was because he was full OF
Observation-Disclosures Press.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
SQueaky.

A little three year.old miss while
her mother was trying to get her to
sleep became interested in peculiar
noise. and asked what it was.
"a cricket, DEAR" replied her
mother.
"Well," remarked the little lady,
che ought to get hisself Oiled"
Young Peoples Paper.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
JuStifiable Hauteur.

Pauline - Have you nothing to be
proud of?
Penelope-Yes. I'm proud that l
haven't any false pride.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
What She Was Thinking.

Gladys - I'm something of mind
reader myself.
Ethel-Indeed?
Gladys-Yes; l can usually tell at q
glance what person thinks of me.
Ethel-W onderful! But don't you
often find it awfully embarrassing?-
Exchange.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16

you remember when Duncan's son
wrote home from college that he was
fencing. Duncan thought he was build
ing fences"
"Yes."
"Well now he writes home that he
is vaultng, and Duncan thinks he Is
buildings vaults"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Recunerating.

One day little four.year. old Cora was
trying to stand on her head. Her
mother asked her what she was doing.
She answered.:
CPS standing on my head to rest my
feet. "--Little Chronicle.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
No Amateur.

Bill-That man is horrible liar.
Jill-O, don't know; l think he's
good at it.-Yonkers Statesman.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Use It.

One of the best pieces of advice for a
safe journey through life l saw on
Sign at a railroad crossing. The sign
read: "Stop! Look! Listenr-Bal.
timore American.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Inventor Loses His Mind.

NJ. Goubet, inventor OF the subma-
rine boat, the patents of which were
purchased by an English company, he's
been removed to an asylum.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16

In the old days they spoke of Ii
censed fool. If all the fools we're re-
quired to have a license now, the gov.
eminent could do away with it's other
taxes and still maintain the surplus.
There's "single tax" for you.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Martyr to knowledge.

Young Lady-Were you pleased With
the new school, little boy?"
Little Boy-Nawl Dey made me
wash me face, an when went home
de dorg bit me cause he didn't know
me!-Chicago News.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16

Berlin's Oldest "Weiss Beer" Saloon.
Berlin's oldest "weiss bier" saloon
is being torn down. It was in the
Charlottenstrasse and had been open
l2l years.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16

Mothers will fiho Mrs. Nlns1ow's Sooth.
ing Syrup the best remedy to use tor their
ehildren during the teething period.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Quite Appropriate.

Hell wonder why Mrs. Splugg
dresses 80 loud?
She-Oh. her hubsand is quite deaf.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
An Immense Wheat Field.

The biggest wheat field in the world
is in the Argentine Republic. 1t be-
longs to an Italian named Guazone and
covers just over 100 square miles.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16

elTC Permanently Cureu SO FITS or nervousness.
FUUO after first lays of nr AliDe's Great Nerve
aestorer. Send for FIR 81. 90 trial bottle and treat
&c. DR. r. II KLINE. Ltd v3 Arch ST.. Philadelphia Pa
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
,er, of Oneonta, N. Y, writes:

Congressman D. F. WILDER, of Oneonta, N Y. wries
The Peruna Medicine Co., Columbus Ohio:
Observation-Disclosures by friend have tried remedy
have almost fully
fully your medicine all who
fr2ubI "-David
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
CASTOR|A
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
s' sssss ss: Of &Hz0ZzzM
Didn't Have To.

Didn't Have To.
DR.. Failey docking at the thermom
eter)-Humm! don't like your tenn
perature.
Sick Student-Then why did you take
it?-Harvard Lampoon.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16
Learning by Degrees.

Learning Dy OeKrees'
Little Charlie being asked by his
teacher the subject of his geography
lesson, answered promptly:
Longitude and Shortitude."
For bronchial troubles try PisO's Cure
for Consumption. 1t is Il good cough
medicine. AT druggists, price % cents.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-04-16

n piOiiillICIit OOltliCIH iouy,
Mrs. Blanchard, OF Nashville,
Tenn, tells how she was cured
OF backache, dizziness, painful
and irregular periods by Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
Gratitude compels me to acknowl-
edge the great merit of your Vere-
table Compound. l have suffered for
four years with irregular and painful
menstruation, also dizziness, pains in
the back and lower limbs, and titful
sleep. l dreaded the time to coma
which would only mean suffering to
me. Six bottles of Lydia Il.
pinkham's Vegetable Compound
brought me health and happiness i'll a
few short months, and was worth
more than months under the doctors
care, which really did not benefit me
at all. feel like another person now.
My aches and pains have left me. l
am satisfied there is no medicine SO
good for sick woman as your Vege-
table Compound, and l advocate it to
my lady friends in need of medical
help Mrs. 3. A. BLANCHARD, 422
Broad St., Nashville, Tenn. $1,000 for
felt if oyiginai of aboUe letter proving genuineness
cannot be produced.
When women are troubled with
menstrual irregularities, weakness,
leucorrhra, displacement or liberation
of the womb, that bearing-down feel
ing, inflammation of the ovaries, back
ache, they should remember there is
one tried and true remedy. Lydia f.
pinkham'S Vegetable Compound.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-07-24

Gregory Kill, 1872, abolished the eaien-
dar of Julius Caesar and framed new one,
which has been adopted by ali nations save
Russia Upon hearing of the massacre of
St. Bartholomew, Gregory ordered jubi-
lee.
The most dramatic character among popes
was Sixtus V, 1885. He rose from the hum
blest walks of life TO be one of the greatest
of rulers and statesmen. Under the mask
of pious simplicity, feigning feeble old age,
he deceived the cardinals, who thought him
one to be easily managed. His election as
sured, he threw down the staff on which he
had leaned, assumed the dignity and inn
periousness which never forsook him In his
short pontihcate of five years. a monu-
ment of his greatness was the building OF the
aqueduct, y miles long. He compared HIM
self to Moses, whose statue he raised,
fetching water from the rock by the potent
touch of his staff. He raised the obelisk in
front of ST. Peters, feat thought to be i'm
possible. There was the penalty of death
for anyone who spoke during the process.
When the vast thing swayed and seemed
about to fall, voice rang from out the
crowd, "Wet the ropes" The obelisk was
saved; ; for once Sixtus revoked his word.
He founded the vatican library and crowned
ST. Peters with its noble dome. He despised
Philip II, yet contributed to equip his Ar
maOd. he admired EllZaDeCn OF England
and Henry of Navarro, but for policy's sake
communicated both. In his humorous
way he would talk of mating with Eliza
beth as the only woman who equaled him in
greatness, saying, "What match it would
be-" He was the last pope kings have had
to fear. People, hating him, marveled at
his glory-said he had made contract with
the devil, by whose aid he had risen step by
step, and that the stipulated period having
expired, his soul had been carried away in
q tempest.
Clement VIII, 1891, absolved Henry of
Navarro, consented to his divorce from
Marguerite. In defiance of the pope, Henry
issued the Edict of Nantes.
In the .pontifcate of Urban VIII, 1888,
Calico was confined in the prisons of the in
QUESTION for declaring the earth moved
round the sun. To save himself from tor
ture, upon his Bonded knees, before ignor-
ant monks, his hand upon the Bible, he re-
nounced his theory. He rose, indignant
with himself, stamped his foot and ex-
claimed, "And yet it does move which con-
demned him to dungeons for another three
years.
In the pontifcate of Innocent X, 1914,
Louis XIV. was persuaded to revoke the
Edict of Nantes.
Clement X, 1870, received into the Cath
Ole church Christina, daughter of Gustavus
Adolphus, who had abdicated her throne.
Under great pressure from the sovereigns
of Europe Clement XIV, 1869, abolished the
order of the Jesuite. From that time he
led a life Of anxiety, fear and repentance.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-07-24
TO FIGHT THE GOBLIN MOTH.
The Department of Agric u1ture VIII
Experiment with Birds I'm
California.

Now it is the birds that are to help
in the destruction of the Goblin moth
that little insect that is doing so
much harm to the apple orchards of
California. Down at WatSonyilie
where the big orchards are, the or
astrological department of the Unit
ed States department of agriculture.
under the supervision of DIR. E L.
Beele, is working in conjunction with
Prof. c. W. Woodwork and Warren
Smith. of the University of California.
to exterminate the moth. and just now
they are installing lot of bird cages
as part of the work, says Berkeley
report.
These cages. of which there are to
be IL, will be large enough to envelop
fruit tree. Into them it is purposed
to put 80 varieties of California birds,
including canaries, bluejays and lin
nets, and then to watch them closely to
discover upon what they feast most.
At certain times the birds will be
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-07-24
Floating Island in Eas,aaa.

There is a floating island in Der
wentwater, England. not far from
Lodore falls. Its travels are re-
stricted to alterations between the
bottom of the lake and the surface.
When moved to retirement it sinks
and remains in watery seclusion for
periods which vary from a few months
to as long as seven or eight years.
Its existence above or below water
appears to be determined by the pres
ence within the island of gases whose
quantity governs its buoyancy. Esth-
waite lake, in the same neighbor-
hood, boasts a not less pulling but
more amenable island. This has
served as ferryboat to conduct as
many as IS persons at time across
the bosom of the water upon which
1t rides.