West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-04-23
BOWSER'S MOTHER -|N-LAW.
She Turns Up at au Unexpected and
Opportune Moment

OPp0rtune Moment
Mr. Bowser had lostz cents while making
change on the street car. aud lat woman
had giggled over the accident and a half.
drunken man had embraced him aud cx
tended his sympathies. When he got OF
the car coal cart had grsred his legs. and
as he neared his own gate a bob. tailed dog
had rushed between his feet and almost
upset him
These things added to the fact that the
gate refused to open until he had bestowed
a couple OF kicks on Il prepared him for
row on entering the house He intended
to break ont as soon as he entered the hall
but Mrs. Bowser was not in sight. lie
stalked through the sitting room to demand
OF her why two gas jets were blazing away
aud sending him to the poorhouse. but she
was not there. Such thing had not
happened within Eve years. aud IL demand.
ed instant investigation. lie descended to
The dining room. prepared TO express him.
sell in fitting language, but other surprises
awaited him. The table was not set for
dinner. and as he passed out into the
kitchen he found nothing cooked and the
hre almost out.
Strange times had come TO tho house of
Bowser The lord aud master was being
dohed in his own house. Mr. Bowser's law
set and his eyes blaKed as he made his way
upstairs 10 the family bed room. There
he found Mrs. Bowser in bed with her head
tied up. She smiled wanly at sight OF him
and said
I'm sorry dear, bu, IL is not my fault
1 The COak wont ont altar OH af,.. 49,, O.,
this morning. aud she was so drunk before
noon that had to discharge her. Then
was taken with a sick headache and had
TO go to bed. Can't you go out to restaur.
ant and get something to eatp"
"A pretty state of affairs, upon my soul.
he exclaimed. as he gared down upon her.
"lhc cook goes out and gets GIN does she1
Why does she go out and get gin1"
Because she wants IL. suppose"
Because you have exercised no moral
restrain over her. Because your moral
influence has run TO gin instead of keeping
her In the path OF sobriety. She goes out
Tor gin probably encouraged more or less
by you. and then you jump on her with both
feet. cannot find words to express my
feelings over such conduct"
| II VIII tell YOU all about II tomorrow
when my head Is better - said Mrs Bowser.
81 have heard enough. woman. why
this headachep How did IL happen TO
come on to-day do not charge you with
drinking portion Of that gin. but-but--'
That will do. Zen niamin--that will do. ."
said a voice az MIR. Bowsers elbow, and ho
turned with cold shyer 10 ind his mother.
in-law standing before him.
"Yon-you herei he gasped as he stared
at her
II am here. Benjamin. | arrived at II
O'Clock this morning, in time to take the
cook by the ear and lead her out doors.
am also Ia time to have a few words with
you. lfyou want anything to eat 20 to
restaurant and get II There will be no
eooking in this house TO night"
But don't like this" he prot sted II
come home and fnd the cook gone. Mrs.
Bowscr la bed and the house all up"
III doesn't matter two cents whether you
like IL or not am running this house lust
al present. II you don't want to 20 out for
your dinner YOU can fish around in the
pantry. In any event you want to get out
of this room with that fog.horn voice Of
yours shall have little talk with you
| 'NfNs N''f tTRh = ~ w dOuhf Hfs ~ you
go off 90 any club or anything I'll follow
you and bring you back think you
know me, benjamin. think you do"
Mr.. Bowser tried to freeze her with a
glare, but IL was no go. and he descended
the stairs TO pay a visit to the pantry and
and stay his hunger with cold meat End
bread and butter. The cat followed him
down and seemed anxious 60 symphathizc
with him IN his hour OF bereavement. but
he grabbed up the bread box aud looked
so murderous that she fed in terror lie
dallicd over his eating as long AZ possible.
realizing what was before him. but when lie
finally reached the sitting room Nemesis
sat there waiting to say:
Now Benjamin Bowser. you slt down
while tell you few things What right
have you to come .bome and stamp and
below around like the bull OF Basham when
\ your wife has a headacbe2"
"Bui why has she got hoadachef" he
queried. IL she hadn't been walking out
in the back yard In her bare feet and"
III she hadn't married a Ounce. you
mean" interrupted Nemesis you talk
like an IDIOT and ! don't want to hear any.
thing further. The cook got the bounce
because she drank too much gin. aud In the
morning you will stop at the intelligence
Office. heard you roaring away about the
gas before you came upstairs. Have you
aoy complaints TO maker"
- here Is reckless waste and extraya
gance In tie way Mrs Bowser burns gas.
There Is nothing Of the sort and you
know H. shall light another burner here.
! don't propose TO 60 poking around in the
dark and break my neck Tomorrow you
will order coal"
Goal. coal" he shouted II wasn't
two weeks ago that ! got ton"
I don't care II it wasn't two hours ago.
You order another ton. No one has eaten
u or thrown it az the cats. IN filing up the
furnace 10 night you want to be careful
and not mako a noise. What was In that
box YOU sent up this snernoon2"
1'sa patent fuel"
We'll ] ompiied the stuff in the street.
There will be no patents around here for
week to come. Did YOU tell boy to bring
a goat here2"
"Yyes.
And told him to take the animal away
again. One goat is enough. There was
man here 20 see you about digging hole
in the back yard. He said you wanted 10
experiment with the vibration Of the earth
vibrated him about his business There
will be no fooling while T am here
Benjamin. aud you can make up your mind
to that"
DO you run this house OF DO "" de
msndcd Mr. Bowsor as he strained ~ his