The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-07-29
QUIT LITERATURE.

The old man drew up to the lamp. put
on his glasses. but paused before he
undid the roll before him. Mandy watch
ed him as she clicked her needles. then
she 'hemmed'' a few times and sighed
deeply. Silas shipped the string and gave
q whistle as the roll fell fat, revealing
a dozen or more almanacs of all sorts.
Great readin' this is. Mandy. Some
folks can find more brain power. int'rest
I an human natur' in story magazines,
newspapers, congressional dockyments or
sup-visors' reports. Them that wants
that sort of readin' can stick TO en- As
for me, give me these yearly little books.
full of meat an brains from start TO
/ finish. at the quarter an halfway post
an all round the track
But Mandy only sighed deeper as Silas
took up one little booklet after the other
and tenderly caressed each, as he turned
the talismanic pages.
Here's the same old familiar jokes,
Mandy. 1t seems just like meetin' old
friends to greet EN- again And Silas
proceeded TO fire a long list of ancient
chestnuts, riddles and verses at Mandy,
who had stood the fire of these same
things for forty years. Silas laughed just
as heartily at the cute and clever Joe
Millers as he did years ago, when they
were new, crisp. rib-tickling, fresh and
L.
though she said nothing. only clicked her
needles and sighed now and then. How
ever, Silas began to read something, with
a chuckle. about the same old recipe
concerning angel cake. Then she broke
in so warmly that Silas almost jumped.
There, that'n do, Silas,' sch said, as
she lifted a cleaning needle and pointed
il directly at his left eye. He hitched
about in his chair. wiped his glasses and
drummed his feet upon the floor. Then he
recovered his nerve and gently said in a
hurt tone
Seems to me them things would intr-
est any woman of common sense; receeps
bout bakin an b'ilin an-an'-"
Stop right where you be, Silas Penn
brook. You know better'n | can tell you
that 1 never rise bove ginger cake, cook
les an tartS AS for them rainbow angel
thingamajigs an such-they hain't in my
line an you know it, Also them poor
cid jokes that need crutches to keep EN-
from fallin down. cause of old age
don't fire any more at me. 1 might stand
the weak old creaturs-but don't you dast
TO throw any more almernack receeps
for angel cakes at me, Silas Pembroke
don't you dastl'
'Humph! don't see why receeps-"
cont you dast to read to me bout
dyin pants or maxim soft soap or rag
carpets, nuther. You can read EN- to
yourself if you want to; you can keep TO
yourself all bout them signs that tells
when it's proper to wean babies an so
on. Silas, you are bound slave to
them almernacks An you are also a
'bide by en- I've wanted to free my
mind before Now l have
Il a false weather prophet? Why. 1
said last fall that the breastbone of the
GOOSE
Meant we'd have a soft winter. 'Tain't
been very soft so far said Mandy, with
sniff.
Il did git a little off the track. but
An you consulted yer almanacks. an
what did you do? You told Joe Slocumb
TO cut his hay cause the weather was
goin to be fit for curin' it. Well, Joe
cut his hay an it rained so the poor
stuff rotted on the ground You told
Lem Salisbury not to cut his wheat
cause it was bound 10 rain an Spite It.
didn't cut his wheat an the weevils
got In an fixed it. Since then l don't
get no invites to Slocumbs teas nor in
vites to SsuIisbury's quiltin's. Yer false
prophet, Silas, an folks are calm you a
blamed old almernack idiot"
Think so. Mandy7'
II hear it every day. Silas. Quit lit
erature an cut off the almernack habit.
You mean it. Msndy?"
Yes, yer the laughin' stock of the
community, cause you get up, go to bed,
eat an sleep by the signs in them books"
'Sure?''
Yes"
Then, here she goes" The stove door
was opened and as the famous old Joe
Mnler's threadbare receipts and ancient
verses volleyed up the chimney Silas gave
a sigh and settled back az though life
had lost all further charm.-Horace Sey-
mour Keller, in New York Herald.