The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1903-12-03
RUMDOM, BUMDOM, DUMBDoM.
A Parable to Illustrate the Truth Re
gnrding the EVIL of In
temperance.

RumdOm and BumdOn were really
stepsons of the old man, but as the old
man paid all their bills and fed them
at his own table. he found it difficult
10 convince the wayfaring man that
they were not blood relations.
Rumdom was liItle and fat, and far
seeing, by profession q wizard, who
| lived in an atmosphere Of spirits. 1t
was he who offered the family sacri-
| fees, managed their politics and did
eat bread by the sweat of his con-
science.
Bumdon was a twin brother, not too
| fat nor too well dressed, but a sure
enough brother, and a necessary part
of the combination. 1t was he who re-
| lieved the family life of any peaceful
monotony, over-much quietness, or
! lack of excitement
Dumbdom was a hard working giant
of fellow, who provided for the fam
! lily, so named because he was the
| dumbest one of the whole dumb fam
| lily, though he knew how to gee" and
'haw' without the laid or consent of
any other nation" Among the va
rious labors that Dumbdom performed.
he titled the soil and raised 40 bushels
of grain. all of which was needed by
the family and the neighbors.
! In the process of time Rumdom de-
vised scheme to enrich the whole
| family. He proposed to offer one of
the bushels of grain as a sacrifice on
the altar of booze, and from its putri-
! flying remains he would call forth spir-
its which would rival the fairies of old
in their midnight wanderings and
trifling with gold. The old man and
| boy liked it not; it seemed like waste
of grain, and the spirits which re-
| spOnded had a sulphurous smile, and
did not do a strictly cash business.
| Rumdom argued that it would raise
the price of grain, give employment
to himself and make good times. He
| finally convinced the family by paying
| "a cents for the bushel of grain and
| giving the old man a dollar for an in
| diligence. So Dumbdom went his way
| merrily jingling the "a cents, and the
old man was satisfied that he could
not well keep house without the dollar.
Now it came to pass that when Rum
dom offered his sacrifice, and called
! forth the spirits of Booze, he very gen.
erously turned them over to his broth
er Bumdom for $1285 Cnearly enough
to pay for the other 80 bushels of
! grain, and he said: Go to! There is
money in it." With his newly pur-
chased spirits Bumdom proceeded to
! so at once on an extended excursion
into Booze-land, and straightway his
wandering mind possessed itself of at
least 81 100000 of Booze wealth, a clear
. gain Of S99,9S7.15 on his investment;
| besides, he felt confident that he could
whip any man on the street In the
reclllessness that is born of suddenly
acquired wealth, Bumdom became hi
| larious, and in mis- extravaganza
whipped his wife and smashed $40
worth of furniture for the old man.
! Indeed, he behaved so badly that his
spirit companions disappeared with all
| his new found wealth, and behold he
was as other men Tin the same FIX.
Then did the family take council to-
| 6ClllCi' ollu ull pllllN II NtlchbpOoC anu
put Bumdom within. and did feed him
at their own expense, and did pay
man to watch and chaStse him.
Now as Bumdom had no money to
! pay the damages, the old man turned
! to the boys for help, but that "son Of
| Belial" Rumdom said: 60 to Pot!
Did l not give you a dollar ard get
| h, 4
man abashed, and said: The point
! is well taken, my dear, but for your
money | might be in the poor house"
Then did the old man require the
! same from Dumbdom, who settled the
bill to save the family from bank
ruptcy, and to give vent to mis- feeling
he lifted up his voice and cursed the
trusts, the tariff, foreign immigration,
other nations, and the other political
party.
Now it came to pass that the family
had great pow-wow to consider their
troubles, and Dumbdom said: These
are bard times; l have raised food
enough for all the family. but my
brother Bumdom has had no money
to buy, on the other hand l have been
at great expense to feed and clothe
him; what shall | do?"
Old man Christendom said: "These
are hard times; | have had to spend
more to repair broken furniture this
year than ever before, and that boy
Bu1ndom, who ought to help support
the family, has not given me a cent;
but ON the other hand, he has been SO
drunk and disorderly that l have been
compelled to hire man to take care
of him. How shall | meet my ex-
penses?"
| Then did Rumdom look wise and say:
''The spirit supply is running low,
will buy another bushel of grain and
give another dollar for the privilege
Of selling the spirits to Bumdom, but
shall expect you to see that his wife
does not disturb me in my business"
Then did they clasp him in their
strong arms and say: I'VE need that
$134; the one who interferes with you
will have the whole family to whip"
They didn't see the point Do you?
Rev. B. H. Shadduch, in New Era.