davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1903-08-02
BOUND TO EXCEPT
THE LORD MAYOR

. ECENTLY a well-known English
y actor was making a tour through
Scotland and arrived one evening at a
country inn. where he ordered dinner.
After he had dined the innkeeDer asked
him if he had enjoyed the meal, and he
replied: Yes. thoroughly. Indeed. |
have d:ned as well as anyone in England
could dine"
Except the lord mayor" remarked the
innkeeDer.
Il do not except anyone" replied the
actor.
But you must except the lord mayor"
insisted the innkeeper. for he is never
to be placed in the same rank with any
one else"
His guest refused to comply and a
quarrel eventually ensued. which ended
IN the arrest of the actor A few hours
later he was brought before a magis-
trate. who said to him: You ought 10
know. sir. from time immemoriaI we
have been accustomed to make an ex-
ceptiop in favor of the lord mayor, and
in order that you may not forget us and
our customs second time I order you
either to pay fine of 25 shillings or to
spend twelve hours in prison."
Tho actor paid the fine without a muir
muir, and then surprised the magistrate
by quietly remarking: 81 honestly be-
ieve that this innkeeper is the biggest
fool IN all Ohristendom-sxeept the lord
The Washington times., 1903-08-02
Is THIS A TRUE BILLY

of delight. finally seizes on the last has
on the wire heads and cries as shs
hugs it: "oh. what q love OF hats
That's exactly what she worel'
She then makes oveTtGres to the sales
woman and they begin negotiations for
the possession Of the deed that will
make over this hat-this and none other
Ito the purchaser. Minor points have
TO do with retrimming. shaping. etc. and
finally that hat is hers. She has pur-
chased It.
And here is the mans way: The man
steps timidly into the first hat store he
sees y grim-looking salesman rushss
him down the aisle. takes OF his old
derby. whips out another, brushes IL
on the mans head, takes So. puts the
wrapped ierby under the mans arm and
escorts him 10 the street
The Washington times., 1903-08-02
KING EDWARDS LIBRARY.

n NE of the most famous libraries
~ in the world is at Windsor Cas-
tie, and King Edward takes a
special interest in its management
There are over 100000 volumes in the
library. which was first established by
Henry VIII. and has since been added
TO by various sovereigns, King Edward
having added several valuable books TO
the collection since his accession.
The King has not much leisure time
10 spend In the peaceful seclusion OF his
library, but he sometimes manages to
spend an hour or so in the perusal of
his favorite authors, who are said to be
Charles Kingsley and Thomas Hardy.
The Washington times., 1903-08-02
IT HAT there are radical differences
between men and women is ex
emplified In no more striking

IT HAT there are radical differences
between men and women is ex-
emplihed In no more striking
manner than In the way in which they
buy their headwear, says a writer in
the Chicago Chronicle" When a
woman wants to buy new hat she en-
tiers the shop and makes for the hat de-
partment. Arriving there. she selects a
hat-aiy hat will do-puts it on her
head and looks in the mirror The
saleswoman merely pushes her belt down
an inch and strolls leisureiy toward the
other woman The erst woman doesn't
like the first hat. nor the second, nor
the third. nor the forty-third. She filings
each down until there is a goodly pile
about her. At this stage the stateIy
saleswoman saunters W and asks in
a non-coTmittaI tone:
did you want Q hate"
The first woman tries on three more
and then Gays. carelessly: Il was Jusc
looking these over. Have you anything
in the way OF perique straw with IN
growing tiounces?" Then she readjusts
her own hat. looks at herself compla-
Gently and moves along The sales
woman knows she asks for an imtossi-
BILE style just TO get away.
The woman trips 10 the next shop and
another. buys q pair OF shosstrings and
goes home.
This is on Monday. On Tuesday she
starts in again. visiting other shops.
About Saturday she sails into the high
shop. begins the usual piiing
Up process. and then. with q whoopI
The Washington times., 1903-08-02
BRAHAM LINCOLN is thus fer

BRAHAM LINCOLN is thus fer
n the only man becoming Presi-
4 i dent OF the United states TO
whom q patent was ever granted.
II the person endowed with q pen
chant for research will take the trouble
to visit room 227 IN the Patent once
and look over the file OF specifications
and drawings OF patents issued on ma
rine inventions his attention Will Re at
once attracted by patent No. 6463,
issued May %, 1s4s. to Abraham In
coin, citizen Of Springfield. Ill. on
a new floating dock. or "caInel." invent
ed BY the latter and belonging 20 Class
No. ia, ships.
During tho early years OF his life
Lincoln worked on fiatboats. which at
that time controlled large part Of
the traffic Of the Ohio and Mississippi
Rivers. Neighbors would club together
and built a fiatboRt. load IL with corn.
-four. bacon, or tobacco, and 1oat down
to New Orleans, where the cargo and he
barge would be sold, the crew returning
10 their homes in Illinois. Indiana, Ken
lucky, or Tennessee. overland AMI on
foot. Along about 1845 steamboats, he
gan taking the place Of these hatboats.
although at frst they were built some
what on the same order, and often used
merely for the purpose OF towing the
fatboats. During the time he spent On
a natboat Lincoln had an opportunity
10 observe and appreciate the annoy
ance caused TO boats Of this character
by sandbars and shadows.
Setting his wits to work. he after
long, patient thought evolved what was
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1903-12-18
AT THE HOTELS.

At the Harper-Robert Casey, Chi
cago; NJ. f. Church, Aledo; &c. Hank,
Peoria; F. w. Dering. Chicago; II. Ii.
Haeger. Chicago; john Russell, Chi
cago; f. b. Mitchell. St. Louis; 5. ".
Tambe. New York; w. w. Bradford,
\. \. Stevens, j. Il. Hyde, Chicago: r.
p Wait and wife. Reynolds; ID. w.
Ccnley. Des Moines, Iowa; \. w.
BardwelI, Milwaukee; John Brady,
Peoria: j. b. Fitzpatrick, Chicago; T.
Krans, Chicago; II. Il. Smith, Brook
field, Mo-: i. {. james. St. Louis; j.
T. Good. Chicago; NJ. Cohen, PEORIA;
w Owen, MarseiIles: \. De Fan, Chi
cago; \. Il. Shore, Milwaukee; f. +.
Durham. Chicago; ID. S. Gearing,
Princeton, ILL.,; George Jenkins, Du-
buque; j. NJ. Ran. Milan; John Schaff-
ner. Chicago; j. Mayors. New York:
o. c. Bovard. New York: ID. y. HebeI,
Aiedo, H.: Warren Roberts. Chicago;
T. Roy, Salt Lake City; +. Lobdei
Chicago: j. c. Valentine, J. NJ. Miutoy
and wife. San Francisco: William
Clark, Cedar Rapids.
At the Harms European William
OH. Peoria; c. j. Worthington, ID. NJ.
Swobi. Chicago; L. {. Proudly, Detroit.
Mich; Ii. ID. Ross. Paducah. KY; {. y.
Perch, l.. j. Maskers. Chicago; {. f.
Chambers. Burlington; John j. Lines.
Chicago; G.. f. Harris. Des MOines:
L. b. Garlick, New York: G. j. Duston,
Pontiac, Mich; S L. Grundy. Bloom
ington; II. c. Reno and wife, Chicago;
j. c. Mann, Evanston, H.; c, II. Walk
er. Boston, Mass; Il. Is. Gould. Cincin-
natl: L. l.. Hardy Chicago; NJ. NJ.
May, New York: George Burke, Fort
Wayne. Ind; l.. j. Primrose. Toledo,
Ohio; Charles G.. Kruger. New Bos-
ton. ILL.,; c. G. Finlller Chicago; f. \.
Mccullough. Danville. H.; j. l.. Gran
ger, Chicago; +. \. Everson, Peoria;
NJ. j. Brooks. Pittsburg. Pa; F. F.
Jones, Chicago; c. +. Billings, Bos-
ton. Mass; Il. a. Milton. Cedar Rap
ids; Miss Elsie Wilson, Harold Wayne.
Chicago; George Cockrel. Kansas
City; Il. E. Purdy, l.. E. Myers, Chi
cago.
At the Rock Island-J. l.. Green, ST.
Louis; W. +. Garnett. Port Byron: j.
IS. Davis, Cedar Rapids; p. H. O'Brien.
Rock Island: c. W. Welton. Cam
bridge; Thomas Movers. Atkinson:
T. Il. Lees. Coal Valley; d. T. Little.
Milan; c. +. Wakeman St Louis: J.
IS. Wilbert. Rock Island; Il. j. Pear.
Moline;. j Kolloff. Rock Island; S. r.
Kent, Lincoln; HI. Thomassen, Vase
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1903-12-18
NATIONAL ORGANIZER
SPEAKS TO CARPENTERS

The members of the local carpen-
ters' union were addressed last even
ing at the Industrial Home by 5. j.
Kent, of Lincoln. Neb.. general organ
izer for the national body, who has
come to inject new life into the
unions of the craft in the tri-cities
He states the carpenters of the coun-
try have enjoyed u prosperous sea-
son. but that there is danger from
Cver-cunfidence among the member
ship, and he is urging all the men to
keep i'll close touch with their organ
izatiCn. and be prepared to meet con
ditions as they arise Mr.. Kent is to
speak to the Moline carpenters at the
Industrial Home in that city tonight.
Saturday evening he will address the
Davenport union at the industrial fair
that is being held in that city. and
Sunday afternoon he will speak at
Lahrmann's hall. Davenport.
Al Il meeting at Turner nall last ev-
ening. local union. No. 154, Electrical
Workers, held its annual election of
officers, choosing the following:
President Harry Jays.
Vice President-Thomas Hogan.
Recording Secretary-Charles Wan
gelin.
Financial Secretary-W. II. Dean.
Treasurer-W. j. Cooley.
First nspector-William Mccoy.
Second Inspector-Robert Fox.
Foreman-Thomas Gibbs
Trustee, for Is months - Thomas
Gibbs.
Trustee, for six months Arthur
Cee
Press Secretary-Charles A. Cooper
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1903-12-18

ca, Mimi; G.. NJ. Shore. st. Louis; H.
b. Kilgore, St. Louis; l.. J. VIII, Chi
cago: Charles Kane. Davenport; \.
c. Perry, St. Louis; J. McGregor, Sher-
rard; 5. p. Swanson. Lynn; f. y. John
son, Z. L. Saylor. w. y. Crubaugh, II.
II. HUI. Rock Island: w. Christie,
Reynolds; G. W. Hoyt, Chicago; y. p.
Madden. New York; \. II. Dorman,
Rcck Island; 0. S. Peek. Rock Island
j. p. Plunkett, S. Seligman. Chicago;
l.. /. ThurEer. Peoria; II. Z. Gingrick.
st. Louis: Mrs. Anderson. Moline: +.
L. Null; T. +. Van SAINT. Kansas City;
w. r. Carey. Carbon Cliff; Gust West
berg, Sandstone, Mimi: Harry W.
Thil and son. Gable; II. y. Shrayer,
Cable; j. II. Pitney, Peoria.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1903-12-18
MIssOURIAN UNKNOWN"
PLANS TO WHIP JEFFERIEs

St. Louis may be housing 4 man to
wrest the title of champion from Jim
.Jeffries within the next year. Just
who the man is, is kept Il secret. He
is to be placed through careful
course of training with Il view to
matching him with .Jeffries during the
worlds fair. \ ST. Louis syndicate
headed by Nal Dyle is back of the
movement. The unknown" is a
giant. with the strength of a Her.
cules. He is - years of age, and
served four years as brakeman on a
railroad. In height he lacks a trifle
less than two inches Of reaching the
S-fOot mark, and is built in proportion.
He was discovered three years ago by
a st. Louis turfman passing through
southern Missouri, who found he had
disposed of every ring artist in that
section of the country. \ camp will
be located on the outskirts of st.
Louis. and sufficient capital will be
forthcoming to give him the benefit
and experience of scientific scrappers.
A kidney or bladder trouble can al
ways be cured by using Foley's Kid
ney Cure in time. All druggists.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1903-12-18
CAST is SELECTED
For THE Russian Honeymoon
to be Enacted by High
School Seniors.
GIRLS WILL PLAY BASKETBALL
Meet Members of Last Years Team
Sophmores Hold Mysterious
Session.

Yesterday afternoon Mrs. Jay
GARRISON met with the class commit
tee and some of the teachers to
choose the characters for the senior
play, which will be given in Febru-
airy. The play is entitled The Rus
sian Honeymoon and the east of
characters will he as follows:
Count POleska Robert Hoffman
Countess Poleska $500. Ruth Buffum
Baroness -........-...- Mamie Murrlb
Peasant maid ........ Sara Stoddard
Ivan, her father ........... Ben Rough
Koulikoff ............ James Maucl<er
OSlp .--......-.......... Oscar frazer
Journeymen ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
............ Frank Sullivan, Os-
car Ohlweiler and Blaine Morrison
Policemen Observation-Disclosures.
Walter Hart and Sam Montgomery
There are still few minor charac
tiers tC lie chosen. Practice will he
gin as soon as possible.
Basketball Tonight.
At the high school gymnasium this
evening will occur the first basketball
game of the season, when the high
school girls team will play the alum
III team. Ali members of the Athletic
association and the alumni will be adj
mitted free of charge; all others must
pay % cents. The lineup will be as
follows:
High School. Alumni.
Cora Van Galder..c. Laura Marquis
Ellen Hudson. IF. f. Myrtle Barber
Blanch Smith b. f. ....., Elsa Simon
Emma Hepler IF. 2. Mango Kohn
Sara Stoddard E. b. q. Ada Schoessel
The game viii begin promptly at $
o'clock. All the girls OF the alumni
team played ON the high school team
last year and the game will be an in
teresting enc. The high school girls
have been making an excellent show
ing and feel that they have on even
chance.
Program This Afternoon.
This afternoon the Bellies Lettres
Literary society will deliver the fol- !
lowing program before the school:
Piano solo. Evangelinc Castcel.
Original story. Clara Crawford.
Violin solo. Guy Munger.
Essay, Ralph Souders.
Recitation. Gertrude Davis.
Plane solo, BeryI Titterington.
Selection, Harry Cozad.
Piano scIo, Bert Kemper.
Much Mystery A bout 1t, .l
Those mysterious sophomores. The |
class had a meeting last night in the /
assembly room. TO everyone in the |
upper hall the strain of Mr.. Dooley"
1loated out through the door and set
them all wondering what's all this |
noise about" But when the sophs |
came out. the boys leaping downstairs
three steps at a time. and the girls |
whispering in excited groups, it was
in vain that they were pumped re-
garding what they had done or were |
about to do. Do they mean to sur !
prise us by singing Il class song at as
sembly some day?
Other DoIngs.
Tonight in room 20 the football
boys will meet to elect a captain for
next year.
Edison Stone has gone hunting.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-05-14
LooLR BETTER For PRIEST

Lorain, O.. May 5 TO the funerall
Of Miss Agatha Reichlin, murderedI
here Friday morning at the parsonage
Of st .Joseph's Cathedral Catholicl
church, was largely attended today.
The services were conducted by
Father Reichlin, assisted ny fourteenl
visiting priests. At the couclus ion
Of the services the remains were
placed aboard an electric funeral carl
nd taken to the Catholic cemetery
at Elyr1a for interment.
The detectives were hard at work
on the case today endeavoring to
verify reports to the effect that two
men we're seen on the night Of the
murder carrying ladder near the
rear Of the parsonage. The officers
are also Investigating the report
that. two residences near the Reichlin
home we're visited on the night be-
fore the murder by burglars who
were frightened away Detective
Kilbride of Cleveland, expresses the
belief that it will be impossible to
prove that Father Walser committed
the crime. 1t is generally believed
that unless some additional evidence
against Father Walser is obtained he
will be released
"If Father Walser was to have
his preliminary hearing right here
In my OH now and had to use the
evidence | now have in my posses
sion against the man, in my judg-
ment / think / should let him go
was the remark made by Mayor King
today when asked what he thought
Of Father Walser's guilt.
Coroner French, Chief Braman
and Prosecutor Stroup held like
view.
Prosecuting attorney StrouI
stated today that in his opinion the
evidence at hand was not sufficient
to warrant holding Father Walser tC
appear before the grand jury. How
ever, said he, the officers are work.
ing upon the case along the lint
which they are keeping secret
at this time and Developments may
result before the inquest tomorrow
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-05-14
SPARROWS STARTED A FIRE.
Farmer Had to Do Detective Work in
Fixing the Blame.

Farmer Had to Do Detective Work in
Fixing the Blame.
"Seein' them fire engines reminds me
of the time my house burned several
years ago." said countryman the 9TH
er evening as he stood on Monroe
street watching the fire apparatus clat-
ter by. For a long time there was
considerable mystery about the blaze,
and was about to accuse neighbor
of mine Of settn' the place afire, be-
cause l had kind O. swindled him in a
q baby, found out later.
81 woke up one night, and the smoke
was pourin through the house. 1t
seemed to be comm from upstairs
we had one of them big farm houses,
you know-and | tumbled out o. bed,
top of the stairs. The flames was
R-ragin' all along one side of the house
just under the caves and farm up
under the rafters. We had no way of
fightin' the fire, and all we could do
was to save few things.
pile O. trouble, but finally paid me.
They declared the house was set afre
and / kind O. thought so, too, but /
wasn't agoin' to say so. Well, sir
that thing set so on my mind that
resolved to play Sherlock Holmes and
find out what started the blaze.
what do you suppose did It? En-
glish sparrows was the cause of me
losin' my home-and nearly everything
in it. There was big shed near the
house, and on the side that burned
first. 1 was studying how the fire
could have been started under the
caves when 1 remembered the spar
rows had built lot of nests there.
began tearin' the nests out of the shed
and among the sticks and straws
found a lot of matches. remembered
then about droppin' a box of matche!
in the yard, and when found it mos
of the matches was gone. The bird
had carried them away and used then
in building the nests. OF course dom
know just how the matches got fired
but am certain the sparrows were t,
blame for burning the house down
When 1 built new house fixed it s.
the only place sparrow could light Of
It was on top Of the roof"
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-05-14
LIGHT CHAT WITH BURGLAR.
Funny House A older Tries TO Folio VI
the Approved Methods.

Funny liouseAolder Tries to FOLLOW
the Approved Methods.
Just as the burglar was tlptoeing to.
ward the dresser in the room of the
suburban home the humorist In the
bed awoke and sat up.
why, hello, there, Bill" said the
humorist in the bed, cheerily, to the
burglar, who quickly flashed his gllm
I'm the face of the funny individual.
How are you. pard," replied the burg
lar, easily. Didn't know you was
awake"
How'd you get in, old MANI" easily
inquired the man in bed.
Front cellar door," replied the burg
lar, calmly. ut was something easy
"I'm afraid you won't find much do
ing here tonight, chum," said the fun
NY householder, who had read of these
easy little nocturnal dialogues with
burglars, and was rather enjoying the
experience "Pm pretty nigh all out
on the dough question just now. Too
bad you hadn't postponed your ".
till tomorrow night-to-morrow's pa =
day with me, and I'll have something
like q couple of hundred in my jeans
tomorrow night. l should think you'd
keep a kind of dope-book on these
things, eh?"
"Oh, that's all right, mate" an
swered the burglar. mo harm done,
1t is too bad l didn't wait till to-mor-
row night, but we've got to take a
chance on losing out that way y'see.
l guess I'll make expenses, anyhow,
before to-nights over-Ive got several
plants to work yet in another neighbor-
hood SO long. l can find my way out
all right, and I'll pull the door to-"
"Good-by," matey," said the humor-
ist in bed, hugely enjoying his own
ease Of manner under the circum-
stances. Sorry l couldn't have come
to the front with little of the duff tC
help you along, but you see how I'm
fixed. Slong-be good"
The burglar nodded, and passed out
of the room, down the stairs, and out
of the house. The humorist in bed
chuckled softly, and when he got III
next morning he told everybody in the
suburban town who would listen tC
him of the easy-going little talk he had
had with burglar on the night before
That night the burglar came back tc
the humorist's house with a pal, put
the funny man under the gun, anC
eased him Of $21475 and his golt
watch and chain, without any super
fluous. conversation whatsoever.
These Incidents do not always vino
up just exactly in the manner pre-
scrlbed by the screech-evokers in tn,
comic supplements.-Wash Post
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-05-14
PUT UP GOOD FIGHT
,iispsi the outisw Plueky Sort Of Lesde
"Details Sent OF Undoing

Washington, May 5.-Unofficial re-
ports eceived at the war department
give additional details of the cam.
palgn which resulted In the death Of
General San Miguel aud the uttai
rout Of his band Of outlaws by the
Philippine scouts commanded by
Lieutenants Nickersun and Reese.
The scouts located San Miguel's
band about half way between Calcooan
and Mariquina, ina strongly fortified
corral and blOckhouse built by the
S paniards many years ago and so we'll
concealed by the jungle that it had
escaped discovery. Lieutenants Nick
erson and Reese and their men made
a gallant attack on this stronghold
under very heavy fire from the
enemy through loopholes in the all
surrounding blockhouse. The scouts
charged over the wall and engaged
the enemy In hand to hand combat,
driving them into the fort In this
assault Lieutenant Reese was shot
through the .tnlgn Just below the
groin San Moguel, surrounded ny
a devoted bndyguard of about thirty
men, undertook to slip through the
dine, hut being discovered put up a
plucky running fight. Lieutenant
Nickerson with fifteen men attacked
San MiguePs party but withheld
their fire until within short range,
when they put three bullets through
San Miguel's body. San Miguel died
gamely. shooting while lying on the
ground wounded.
Six of his bodyguard were killed.
The remainder escaped in the dense
jingle. The fight lasted about an
hour and half, the Americans los.
Ing three killed and ten wounded,
including Lieutenant Reese. The
enemy lost forty dead that were
counted and the jungle concealed
other killed and wounded. Nc
prisoners were taken. Many valuable
iapers were found on the bodies OF
The dead and were said to contain evi.
dence against several prominent
officials in the province.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-05-14
SAND-BAGGED IN IDAHO

Wood River, Neb., MAY Dennis
Moore, formerly of Wood River, and
Ia son of Anthony Moore. OF this city,
was sand-bagged and robbed at
Pocatello, Idaho Thursday. His
skull was crushed by blows he receiv-
ed and it is thought that he has but
a small chance to recover. He has
been moved to st. Joseph hospital at
Salt Lake. Two suspicious characters
have been arrestd by the Pocatello
police and have been charged with
the crime, although the evidence is
net considered strong against them.
Dennis Moore left Wood River about
six years ago and has since been rail-
reading in Idaho.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-05-14
Leper Running mt Large

st. Louis, May 6.-Dong Gong, the
Chinese leper, who has been In close
confinement at quarantine, about two
miles below Jefferson barracks, for
the past year and half, has escaped.l
DR.. Woodruff, superintendent of the
quarantine hospital, at once ordered
search for the dangerous patient
who is still at large.
Dong Gong's condition has noe
materially changed since his ostra1
cism from society, and he is too dam
gerous patient to be at large.
Custer County Republican. (Broken Bow, Neb.) 1882-1921, 1903-05-14
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.
Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World over-Sayings that Are Cheer
full TO Old or Young-Funny Selec-
lions that Everybody will Enjoy.

I'm really worried about Charlie"
said young Mrs. Torkins.
"whats the troubles" asked her
mother.
"All my care seems to have been in
vain. | wouldn't let him play golf for
fear he'd get the golf elbow nor ping
pong for fear he'd get ping-pong an
kle."
"Well, he has escaped so far?"
Eyes. But | haven't the heart to
ask him to stop playing cards, even If
it does lead to his becoming deformed."
what do you mean?"
'He admitted to ne that the poker
hands he is getting are extremely
painful. washing Star.