The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-04-12
FUN OF THE WORLD.


so you're back punching AGAIN. asked the
cowpuncher's friend relates the Houston
You bet, And glad Of it
Didn't like your job OF bailin?"
Nope"
Case of murder jury ben six hours an the jeege
he TO Mr.. BaiIin pole [ jury I couldn't fnd
nothin' but a brooms,ck, jury
an poled EN- with that 1 poed EN- TIL nine went ou-
tn secondstory winder then of tn three tibet had
cornered pasted with spittoon. woke in jail.
an when had served my contempt come back
yere; poin cattle is good enough
If the jedge didn't poed he oughenter said So
after publication of the ingenious
children Charles Lamb and his Mary
in collaboration. Lamb fellow traveller day:
Have read Lambs taIes?" NO" replied the Other.
but have black sheepskin rug.'
Francis E. Leupp an article on '.IIumors OF
gress that Representative Eiborn OF California
after the house unseating him. retired the
cloak room where he held levee friends crowded
in with expressions of sympathy and good will Well
Hiborn. said one of them. you certain 20 come
back, you ought feel bad" Yes" saii
Hlborn. his dry way, cherish Christian belief
in the resurrection. but don't think that entirely
reconcies DEATH
&c gs4
Chaplain Russell, of the Missouri house OF repre-
sentatives. recently efficacy prayer
by suppication that is said have transformed ths
attitude of the members house. majority II
whom formerly read the papers during the chaplains
petition 20 Lord" he prayed, those this
house who rise their feet prayer may
tinue to read their while the chaplain
Grant that they have respect for God if they
have not for the chaplain"
Eas K gg
The late Augustus Hare fond OF relating
amusing incident which Illustrated absent minded
of his cousin. Dean Stanley and DR.. Jowett Both
quite devoid of either taste smell and for
reason both inordinately fond OF tea One
morning they had each drunk eight when suddenly
Jowett from his table. he exclaimed: Good
gracious! forgot to put the tea In! Neither had no.
tced the omission they slipped their favore beverage
z x z x
Bismarck occasion. told Sidney Whitman of
his well oyster dealing. n
Liege. where he ordered oysters in restaurant
fifty begin with He the lady behind the
look in surprise; when he had eaten them, wish
ing to what effect 1t might have her he ordered
another fifty. and so on until he eaten one hun
seventy oysters Mr.. Whitman adds that
is only fair remember that in all probability they
the small Ostend variety"
s8 q
Massachusetts, knows Bible very
well, from cover, and draws philos-
ophy illustration with facility. Only in
a great while is he caught tripping this
such occasion while the discussing
Chinese treaty of He quoted the
policy st. Pauls declaration. For God
blood all the nations Of the earth Senator Mile:
of California exclaimed: Go on-auote the remainder
of the sentence" There is of IT. said Mr.
Hoar. oh. there is rejoned Miller; for the apos-
tie added the words which the has just quoted
and hath determined the bounds of their habation.
x z z x
A group lawyers a New York hotel lobby were
discussing Wills day. incidentally depor-
prevailing tendency of profession
load such instruments with useless redundances. Said
Jersey yesterday a
the probating the late Judge W.
Russell 1t simplicity and brevity itself Approx
mately it said: I give everything have my wife
Then instead Of having seven pages Of In the event Of
her death, give bequeath etc. merely
added. 'reversion children
I'm fact" continued the lawyer. there only
of in he abo
a sheet of paper. To touching and beau
tful and characteristic OF the 1t like this:
I also bequeath TO wife undying love and
trust"
Egagg
A broad-shouldered sixfooter got Broadway
in New York City in a very hilarious mood The
crowded, but he found vacant seat next to little
district boy. Every time the
six footer fell against the boy
Say. said the lad with a pusnacious look. IF you
don't stop usin' fer a pillar III push yer face"
The threat audible every in the Ev-
erybody chuckled. but than the six-footer
The hurnor of the situation finally dawned bow
and he allowed himself faint smile
4
In of the towns which Philip sousa
Gently visited England. the march king a lady
with great reputation worrying celebrities OF ali
kinds TO attend her dinners and at homes She sent
him pressing invitation her house after his
performances; but when Sousa learned that she had
issued invitations 10 her neghbors TO Mr. John
Philip sousaan exhibition OF 'previousness not 10 be
tolerated by Amercan-he declined politely and
with thanks. Having counted upon acceptance.
and held his her friends bait lady
much disturbed receiving his note and
back him with desperate solictude: terribly
sorry to have your card saying you come but
still hope for the pleasure Of your company To tbs
the poor lady received the following terrifying
Dear Madam: 1 have given your kind message my
company. but say that only nifty u them
he able your invitation.
ing appointments keep elsewhere"
< x
P. T. Barnum and his wife very fond the
gifted sisters. Alice Phoebe Cary who visi,i
them Bridgeport. To 4 friend the sboxuf11
remarked: Alice the thoughtful while
Phoebe always bubblng with good spiri,s
wit ! knew a brighter day
taking her and friends through my museum. AZ
the head OF the stairs the containing The
Happy Family. which Included owls eats mlce serpen-s
and other creatures generally mortal enemies hst
living perfect harmony. mainly because kept them
stuffed with food thai they had temptation prey
upon another. The stood directly the
Of the stairs and Just reached top big
pent stretched Phs.ele Forgetting the
glass thickness fhat separated them. she uttered
scream ard wouid have fallen doNn the steps not
caught her. LOosns Up she said. Thank you sr
Earnum. hut Tersember that The first soraaa
that the serpent has fail
The waurfka News tells fhis cd vfih frsrs-