davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
View Feminine.

Man wants but little here below"
sighed the aimless man with the
baggy trousers.
What man wants said the square
jawed mother-in-law of the party
aforesaid. "is a woman to set him an
example in the. act of getting a move
on himself"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
Patience.
Both WronQ.

isn't it ridiculous to call sleeping
cars 'sleepers?'"
Yes, that's way on"
Because 1t isn't the cars that are
sleepers. but the people who occupy
them"
That's where you're way on
Evidently you never tried to sleep in
one"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
He Had to Labor.

Hungry Higgins-She gimme pie
she had just made, but I had ter work
before got chanst to eat IL.
Weary Walker-Git out
Hungry Higgins-Sure. I had ter
pry de top crust OF meself.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
Most Satisfactory Results.

Kingiey-You've been to these lit
erary clubs and metaphysical things
for two or ehree years now, and what
does your culture amount to?
Mrs. Kingley-Don't | know every
body?-Town and Country.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
Then He STONED SAVING.

"ot course" said Mr. Staylate.
there are some things that always go
without saying"
Yes. and worse still.r interrupted
Miss Patience Come, yawning at the
clock, there are some others that Go
just the opposite" Philadelphia
Press
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
Those Preliminary sklrmishes.

Mrs. Gadby-Why. It's been only
week since the wedding and they're
acting like old married people.
Mrs. Glibly-Yes; they quarreled
% much before their marriage that it
wasn't any change to them at all.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
Great For Exercise.

you say you take automobile rides
for the sake of exercise?'
Certainly"
But where does the PHYSICAL ex.
ercise come in?''
Getting out to see what the mat,
ter is"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
still Too Younq.

This is my birthday" And I sup
pose you feel as young as you ever
did?" NO; l don't believe I'm quite
old enough yet to feel as. young AZ
ever did.'-Town and Country.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
So Interesting.

Bah Jovel" suddenly exclaimed
cholly Borem, after lull in the con
versation. this is the lawst day Of
June. isn't it?"
Yes replied Miss Patience.
"why?"
Why. If it was the lawst day of
September instead of June it would
be my birthday"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
Would Not PLAY Brewers.

A La Crosse. Wis. baseball club.
composed entirely of pastors. has re-
fused to accept a challenge from the
brewers' baseball club. feeling that the
object Of the challenge was TO embar
rass the members.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
Two Of Her.

"Beast," she exclaimed as he stag
gered in. That's what you would be
If you were always as you look now :"
That sho?' he replied. Well.
m'dear. II you were alwaysh as you
look now I'd be bigamish."
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
satI.fvlno the Thirsty Soul.

She-They say the eyes are the
windows OF the soul, believe.
He-Yes, and when a man goes
into drug store and shuts a window
quickly the clerk knows Just about
what the poor soul wants.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
Willie and saIIie.

What's the matter. Willie? You
don't seem to enjoy the new pudding
baked
1T looks all right. Sallle. but Its
taste causes me to wonder IL your
cook book did not contain some typo
graphical errors. ROLLER Monthly.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
One wsy to RIse.

"Old Jones made rise in the
world at last"
You don't say so?"
Il do. They're swingin' him to that
hickory limb yonder, an he'll git
thar. II the rope don't break,"-Atlan
tn Constitution.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
NOVEL TRAP FOR FLIES.
Very Successful in Getting Rid of tn
Household Pests.

Household Pests.
In the accompanying picture is
shown curious device for catching
flies. which has Just been invented
and which is said to work admirably
by those who have tested It.
Its principal part is a vessel. which
is intended to hold paste and the
sides of which are provided with
longitudinal slots Over the open part
of the vessel is cover and through
the slots a cord runs. The open ends
of the slots can also be covered. and
attached to the vessel is flexible
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
a RELIC OF ROMAN GREATNESS
Aqueduot Which Still Endures after
the Flight of Many Centuries.

the Flight of Many Centuries.
Scattered about in various parts Of
Europe. wherever Romans once held
sway. are the remains of aqueducts
once huge and massive and even yet
picturesque in their shattered great
ness; their waterless channels mutely
suggestive of a more glorious past.
Among these the most celebrated is the
great aquednct of Pont du Gard, near
Nismes. in the south OF France. which
was designed to convey to that town
the waters OF the fountain of Azure. 1t
crosses the beautiful valley from
point TO point of the high hills on
either side, spanning the river Carbon
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
NOD Exactly what She Meant.

"oh. yes" she said proudly. we
can trace our ancestry back Toto.
Well don't know just who. but
we've been descending for centuries. 4"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
unendursbIe,

May-Did you ever meet man yop
Just possibly endure?
Fay-Yes. one.
May-Who was he?
Fay-A man tried for a week to
make propose. and couldn't.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
"Ladyp Chimney sweeps.

For startling innovations. especially
in the woman's sphere of activity.
Russia runs America very hard. The
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
Ingenuity.

II hear that the old bagpipey's
lungs failed him. suppose he had
to stop playing"
No. he goes around playing ths
bagpips with bicycle pump"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
Lightning is Burglars undoina.

A burglar undertook job at An
drews Center. Penn. during a thun.
derstorm and was detected by the
aid of fash of lightning.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
where There. a VIII.

Jack-she hasn't said yes. has she7
Dick-Not yet. She still thinks she
isn't going to marry me.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
q Cash Combine.

rs there beer trust in this town.
asked the stranger within the gates
mo" replied the native. sadly /;
"only spot cash goes here"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30

extremities this splendid structure is
yet In a very good state of preserva-
tion. A contemplation of its time
enduring solidlty leads one to a ques-
ION of all-absorbing interest. Had
Rome but founded her empire with a
like regard for solidity and endurance,
what would be the condition of the
civilized world to-day?
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30

How the urns containing the ashes
of those cremated are kept in the
crematory at Philadelphia. Tablets
: bearing an inscription are usually
placed over each opening.
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
information for the Young.

PA. what's an imbroglio?"
A fight in which people don't de
pend entirely on their fists"
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30
GREAT MASTERPIECE is VANISHING.

The great mural painting. THE
Last Supper" by Leonardo da Vinci.
in the refectory of the convent Dele
Grazie in Milan, is fading away. Only
The Elbert County tribune., 1903-07-30

Professional Advice
Wederly-'I'm troubled with cold
feet, doctor. What would you advise
me to do?'
DR.. Gruffem-"Get divorce"
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23

and does II promptly and efectually.
S. S. S. purifes and invigorates the thin
acid blood, and builds up the entire sys-
TEN; then the unsighiiy eruption ard sores
heal, the skin becomes smooth and soft,
and all signs Of the Eczema disappear.
Our special book on Skin Diseases free.
The Swift Specific Co., Atlanta, Ga.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23

IN front Of every other house stood a
garbage box, or what had once been
one The majority OF these boxes were
rotting heaps Of boards without covers
overnowlng with wet stun composed Of
decaying vegetables, the sweepings
from the tables Of the people and the
litter OF paper, tin cans and refuse that
had not been disturbed by inspectors or
garbage wagons for several weeks
There was not a whole piece Of side
walk ON either side Of the street Pieces
OF rottlng plank stood on end or lay
partly over the alleys, in some cases
thrust down between the decaylng tim
bers, sticking above the regular level.
n hideous menace. miserable object
lesson. out OF hundreds more. Of the
mOurnful fact Of municipal incompe-
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23
"Iaklna" Matrimonial Fad.

Persons about to commit matri-
mony and victims invited to be pres.
ent at affairs Of the kind will be de-
lighted to learn that solution Of the
what-to-give problem has been invent.
cd in st. Paul, MINI. At a recent we'd
ding in that city the friends OF the
bridal pair contented themselves with
handing out checks for sums ranging
from 81 up-mostly up. This scheme
saves the bride the worry and peril Of
exchanging many duplicate gifts, and
relieves the givers Of any amount OF
hard thinking.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23

III - none OF uOuT DuSinfSA
toncv and dehapcbarv NJ machine no,,.
lies Mr. Marsh loo rnad a fter,vord ina,
moro than 200 suits ,vera nend,py
AGAINST tho c,,v ,or ser,ous ,nt,,-Jos
dne 10 the dafect,ve s,dewaILs AMI NAT
the sum total of damages claimed was
more than 900 ZOO ooo ,saa nrocaed-
ings Of regular meeting ~ Chica 90 c,tv
counciI Ian 3 ioOO1 The chIIdror On
the street wore nloviny ouarroIIng
digging I'm tho garbage hoxes an many
Instances nIcking hIts ~ docarod Ior,.
ons bananas ami orangss ont a, tho
gutter
One groun of bovs WINS tormentIpg n
miserable cat Anotber gropn was velI.
ing nj n malice officer who had inst or.
dered them ont Of tho street whore
they had been irving 70 have n game az
hail Over the stems Of tho tenemont
entrances. some OF them high enough
TO be designated "stoops" women hold.
ing sick babias ar littIe GIRLS stagger,,,,,
under the Load ~ a chiid ,,yo or ,hro.,.
years Younger filled mn tho nicture of
sodden. unkempt. disheyeled fired ont
humanity that Turned that awfnl straet
into a human heII where no oI,ov,a,,n,,
bit of cheer or relief was inserted no
give one raw Of hone for the future
The onIv huildings IN from, q, which
there were no stems wore the saloons
These averaged t,ve N a bIocl and ono
ON each corner The corner saloons
=.
tacbad 90 than, vardo,I,,,, haiIs ,,,,h
staring Iamn Sims "Free voudeville "
hung ont over the entrances
II has been said that M living hahn,
ever snccessfuIIv described Rowen
street so that a nerson who never saw
II could have even the faIntest copcen.
tlon OF its truth Mr. Marsh had meyer
seen ANYTHING like n and all his road.
ing had never given him any idea
whatever Of the reality He stared a,
IL all now in n bewiIderad almost
frightened manner that crashed onIv a
mart az the terrible signiacance of n
an
Finally no Turned To John Gordon
ard said with n tome in which Irrita.
tion u,os tho dominant no,o.
"Wby don't some of these children
20 over and NAV in the Hone Uouse
Fairgrounds instead OF rolling in This
awful aIthP l understood Won 70 saw
that Hone House had a playground"
John Gordon looked at Mr.. Marsh Mt
first with n feeling of INDIGNATION
which rapIdly changed 10 one m sad
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23
The War 10 Go

Take the Burlington trains at St.
Lous, Kansas City, St. Joseph,
Omaha, Denver or Chicago With
its close connections, the Great
Northern and Northern Pacific
roads, and with its through train
service the Burlington offers more
to the settler than any other line
or combination Of lines into the
Northwest.
The Burlington. Northern Pa
cifc Express" is the great daily
train with through chair cars,
coaches and through tourist sleep
ers. This Is the only through
train into theNorthweSt jointly with
the Northern Pacific Road.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23
SKIN CRACKS
AND BLEEDS

ton and soreness.
S. S. S. neutralizes
these acid poisons
and cleauses the blood
Of all irritating sub
stances ard humors
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23
Main Travelled Road

One makes no mistake in calling
for tickets over the Burlington with
its 5000 miles OF main travelled
trunk lines leading practically TO
all the great cities and diverging
points OF the West.
Describe to us your proposed
trip and let us advise you the least
cost and send you free reading mat
ter.
oHAs z MICHEL Lw. vAEELEY
TIP. A, e0t Pins ST. 0snI Pass'r Agent
- Leafs, No. St Leuis, No
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23

Leaves Paducah for GAINESVILLE ev.
cry Monday, IL m.
Leaves Paducah for Nashville
ever Wednesday, IL m.
Leaves GAINESVILLE every Tuesday
noon for Paducah.
Leaves Nashville every Saturday
noon for Paducah.
For freight or passage apply on
board or to Given Fowler, Agt
]. s. Tyner, W. A. Bishop,
Master. Clerk.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23
LADIES! $500 REWARD s 70, ca. #

preston, any cause in pathology, my monthly
reg. fails to relieve; safe, harmless; nail; hox
long suppressed. DIR. JACKSON r. Co, lss psar-
born ST.. Chicago =
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23
H III OVx x3VHVxxxoQ
OR letter !: sS; vs 4 &c

menting disease called Eczema. 1t slum-
bers through the summer and breaks
out In winter. The head, feet and hands
are the parts most often attacked, though
u sometimes appears on other parts Of the
body, the skin hardens, cracks open and
bleeds, while the itching and burning Is
At times almost unbearable. Scratching
only makes it worse, sores and scabs
forming where the skin Is broken.
In this form Of Eczema brownish white
erusts sometimes
form which scale off SKIN CRACKS
In fine particles, -.
leaving the skin raw AND BlEEOS
and infamed. II Is
especially painful and severe when con-
fined to the hands, which often become so
badly affected that the sufferer is unable
10 perform the lightest work. This, like
all other types Of Eczema, Is due to acid
poisons in the blood and not to local
causes. The trouble is more than skin
deep, and washes, soaps, powders and
salves nor anything else applied to the
surface can possibly do more than soothe
the burning and itching or relieve tempo
rarily the Inflammation and pain.
1t Is the acids thrown off by the blood
and which are forcing their way through
the pores that cause the skin to harden,
crack and bleed, and produce the irrita-
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23
Engineers Remarkable Record.

An American railway engineer who
has just been placed on the pension
list has one Of the most remarkable
records Of any locomotive engineer in
the world. For forty-two consecutive
years he has kept an account OF the
miles he has travelled. The total
amounts to l,402,297 miles.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23
Low COlonlst Rates TO The Northwest
and California.

From February 18th until April
3oth, the Burlington makes greatly
reduced one-way rates for settlers
going to California, Montana, Big
Horn Basin, Idaho, Washington,
Oregon, Puget Sound Country and
British Columbia. Generally speak
ing the reduction is from IS to 40
Derceut
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23
CHEAP HOMES IN TEXAS AND
ARKANSAS

Along the. Cotton Belt route-land
that can be bought for % to s5 an
acre and up-cut-over timber ground
that makes good grazing land, furnish.
ing range ten or eleven months of the
year, farming land for corn, wheat,
oats. cctton--some Of it peculiarly
adapted to quick growth and early
maturity Of fruits and vegetables, such
as peaches, pears, plums, strawberries,
tomatoes, potatoes, onions, cabbage,
Misunderstanding good markets in the
north at fancy prices, on account of ex-
cellence of quality and earlier MATURE
ty than in other sections. An ideal
place for the man of small means
cheap fuel. cheap building material,
long growing seasons, short, mild
winters-a land of sunshine and plen-
ty. Let us send you literature descrip-
tive of this country.
Homes in the Southwest"
"Glimpses of Southeast Missouri. Ar
kansas and N. W. Louisiana"
Through Texas with q Camera"
Fortunes in Growing Fruits and
Vegetables, THE Diversier," a
fruit and truck growers journal.
On first and third Tuesdays Of each
month the Cotton Belt Route will sell
one way tickets from st. Louis,
Thebes, Cairo and Memphis, to points
in Arkansas, Louisiana ana Texas, at
half the one way rate plus 81 or round
"trip tickets at one fare for the round
trip plus SO, allowing stop-over going,
and 81 days return limit.
For full information, address,
Il. W. LA BEAUME,
G. p. AND T. A.,
st. Louis, Mo.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23
To California

Join the Burlington's personally
conducted California excursions in
through tourist sleepers which are
run on frequent dates each week
via Denver, Scenic Colorado and
Salt Lake City.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-01-23
ST. LOUIS DIVISION.

For further Information. reservations. tick
cts, etc. call on or address j. T. Donovan.
agent, Paducah. Ky, Q. c. McCarty ID. +. A.,
- Louisi John A. Scott A, @. y. A., Mem
phis, II. Hanson, @ y. A., Chicago, III.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-04-17

foxy old darky made literally thou
sands Of dollars out Of his dodge be-
fore he was nailed. He passed the
word around among the ignorant ne
gro men that he had a consignment of
charms, in the shape of small pieces of
bone, that would come pretty near
making their purchasers bosses Of ev-
erything in sight. The owner and
wearer Of one of his bone charms, he
announced, would. be rendered COM
pletely Invisible to human eyes. Well,
you can readily imagine how a charm
like that would take down in coun-
try where yeller-legged chickens are
thickern bees, and where watermel-
ons just pop out of the soil out of
their own volition. The ignorant blacks
fell to those little bone charms all in
bunch, and they dug up from S5 to
$l5 apiece for the things at that.
"They absolutely and implicitly be-
lieved that the wearing of the charms
would render them invisible, and for
months the darkies down our way
provided with these charms have been
attempting to help themselves to all
sorts of things that didn't belong to
Them right in the presence of the own
ers of the property, and in broad day
light, under the belief that their
charms screened them from the vision
of men. 1t took long time, and not a
little buckshot, to convince them that
their bone charms didn't amount to
much, and then they came to the front
with the story Of how they had got
hold Of the charms. s."-Washington
Post.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-04-17
Satisfied His Curiosity.

The curiosity Of the natives of wild
countries as to everything belonging
to the traveller often leads to amusing
situations. ]. w. Wells tells, in ''Three
Thousand Miles Through Brazil" of
his visit to one settlement where the
only shopkeeper of the place proved
very inquisitive. He was frequent
visitor, and would carefully examine
'the few belongings of the traveller. His
curiosity was finally punished in very
funny manner.
On one of his Wits, writes Mr.. Wells.
ne found my bottle of spirits of ammo
MA on the table, and seeing II was
something he had not hitherto inspect
ed, he naturally laid hold of 1t. and
asked of me, what is this?"
only medicine" replied; and with
perhaps unworthy satisfaction I
watched him hold 1t up to the light.
look Mt 1t all round, and finally remove
the glass stopper and then take a good
sniff.
had to rush forward to save nv
precious ammonia, as he staggered and
gasped for breath, and calculated, 81
am dying" BY dint of much slappinr
OF his back and dousing Of cold water,
he quickly recovered; but nevermore
did he touch any Of my things.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-04-17

whim and pushed the boat into the
midst Of the lilies. He reaped reward
in the lowering of the parasol and a
companionable face smiled upon him
as the owner proceeded to tuck up the
ruff1es preparatory to plucking from
the water the brown-stemmed lilies.
But even before the first flower was
obtained the catastrophe happened.
A great, ugly-looking green dragon
fly rose loudly buzzing from the flow
ers, directly under the side of the
boat, and, perceiving the gently sway
ing tiuffiness above the canoe, and per-
haps deceived into thinking it a new
mass Of bloom yet unexplored, dived
at once in its direction and succeeded
In alighting with moments dispatch
directly under a pink chin, with the
rough wings brushing dimpled
throat.
1t was all over In a minute. A
startled cry Of feminine terror, panic
stricken spring for the other side of
the canoe, and John found himself
knee-deep in black, Shiny mud, with a
bedraggled and dripping little figure
weeping Historically upon his shoul-
der, and an overturned canoe within
his reach.
1t was then he saw his chance. mil
licent, stop your crying. l never saw
worse looking creature in my life"
A white face Of astonishment turned
up to his. "And, for heavens sake,
take off that black, oozy thing around
your neck" Unconsciously a muddy
fist stole up and dragged off the cling
ing mass Of slime and dropped 1t with
shudder
"Now, Mlllicent, will you marry
me| Not till then did the face show
any comprehension of the words being
spoken. Then fash of color appeared
under the streaks Of black and quer
ulous little sob escaped from the
trembling lips as, burying her face
again on the wet, heaving chest. she
answered, solely, "Yes, Johnw-Phila
delphia Item.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-04-17
TWO REASONS.
No One Need Neglect Their Teeth Any
Moreno Pain, Small Cost.

No One Need Neglect Their Teeth Any
Moreno Pain, Small Cost.
The two great reasons why people
used to neglect their teeth were: Fear
of being hurt, and the expense.
When you come to think it over now,
it is truly remarkable what revolu-
tion has taken place in modern dental
methods. Wise Brothers, the famous
Portland dentists, are among the FORE
most in the United States in this re-
spect. Their announcements that there
is not particle of pain connected with
any dental work done in their Office is
literally true. And it is also literally
true that every person who goes to
these dentists is greatly surprised at
the small cost of having the teeth put
in fine order. A whole set of teeth
now costs less than some time ago it
cost to have one pulled or filed. There
is no excuse whatever for anyone to ne.
| glect his, or her, teeth. Even the man
or woman receiving the lowest wages
paid in this Northwest can we'll afford
to have the teeth looked after and be-
gin to enjoy life.
Again, word about the children.
When young person has second teeth,
fathers and mothers should see to it
that their son or daughter goes to the
dentist and has the teeth examined.
Oftentimes just little work before it
is too late saves the teeth pure and
beautiful for lifetime. Take time by
the forelock and consult Wise Brothers.
Failing Building, Portland, Oregon.