davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Absent-Minded.

"The queerest case of Observation-Disclosures that
L have ever known off, remarked the night
clerk Of certain hotel. was that which hap
pened at this hotel early yesterday morning
Two fellow-boarders. one Jones by name and
the other, whose name is Brown, occupied a
room the third floor.
well, Brown requested me to have him walk
ened at o'clock, so as to allow him 10 catch
the o'clock train. He awakened at the
requested time. and in his hurry to dress him
self he put on Jones's clothes by mistake. He
did not discover his mistake until he reached
the depot, and, would you believe it, here
the speaker paused, when he found out that
he was wearing some one else's clothes he i'm
mediately returned to the hotel and went right
to bed
II don't any absent mindedness about
that" broke in one of the listeners.
You don't! Why, he thought that I had
wakened the wrong man."-Washington Post.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

author places in the mouths Of his characters
never seems to appeal TO an audience like the
moss grown jests that are evidently interpolated
In fact, the older Joke is the more welcome
t seems to be suppose it's on the principle
that old friends are best. I attended perform
ance the other evening that was full OF laughs.
and most of the lines were original; but the
thing that struck the audience being the
funniest bit in the show when the principal
comedian drinks champagne for the first time.
makes grimaee and says: 1T feels just like
your foot was asleep Then the people howled.
and nearly fell out Of their seats from sheer
force OF merrinent- And yet III say
the joke, if you can call it a joke, is at least
twenty-five years old. II just goes to show
that familiarity doesn't always breed contempt
philadelphia Record
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

brooklyn Eagle
Mrs. Bertha Seller. twenty-one years old.
who lives with her husband and four-year-
old child at IS Grattan street. was In the
Manhattan-avenue Court this morning COM
planning against Mrs. Mamie Engiehart. OF
Is Morgan avenue, for whom. she alleged,
she had procured a summons TO appear this
morning to answer for charge OF attempt
ing 10 ALLEVIATE her husbands affections
Mrs Englehart failed 10 appear and Mag
istrate 042eilly issued a warrant for her
arrest. Mrs. Seller told a queer tale 20 the
court in which she alleged that the Engle-
hart woman had attempted 10 induce her
husband to leave her and also told herself
that they should trade husbands. Magis-
trate O'Reiliy said he had heard OF many
queer things being done By some people but
trading husbands was something new TO
HIM. Mrs. Seller says that Mrs. Engle-
hart has persisted in her attempts 10 induce
her 10 make the trade and offered her Mr.
Englehart In exchange for Seller. Mrs
Seller could not see her way clear 20 make
such an exchange and had Mrs. Engiehart
summoned 10 court for annoying her ana
attempting TO take her husband away.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
How to See the Wind.

''Bet yer the drinks L show yer the wind"
said seedy individual in a thirst quenching
store the other morning. Many believed that
the mans statement was nonsensical, but 1T is.
nevertheless true.
taking with you the brightest saw you have.
If the wind is blowing from the north hold the
saw with its ends pointing. one to the east, the
other to the west.
Take the IL you were going TO cut the
air upward and let the teeth which are on
top. tilt till the fiat part OF the saw is on
angle of 40 degrees with the horizon.
Then, If you look along the teeth Of the saw,
you can see the wind pour over the teeth as
plainly the water a waterfall-Wilkes-
barre Leader.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Our genial friend. WI Tingfang late Chi
back to China just in time to be drawn into
current complications. He has been urging
the United States legation at Picking to i'm
press on the dowassr Empress ChInas per-
ilous position and the need OF strong men
In charge of affairs He is also reported as
saying that as things now look there is no
escape for China from ACKNOWLEDGMENT of
the empire. II the dowager Empress We're
wise she would take counsel with able men
like WI Tingfang instead of clinging to
the fossils
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
A BATCH OF LITTLE STORIES.


Philadelphia clergyman recently visited an
old schoolmate who is located in Montana. One
Sunday they held revival services in a large
camp OF Swedish miners and at of the
meetings the minister from the Quaker city,
looking straight at a big. powerful looking
man who sat in front, said TO him: My
friend. don't you want to work for the Lord!'
The Swede thought few seconds, and re-
piled slowly: mo. 1 tank not; de Norden Pa
ciic fallers is party good to work for."-Den-
yer Times
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Queer Street Happening.

A man on Twenty-third street furnished much
amusement to a number of people a recent
windy afternoon by a predicament he fell into,
or rather that fell onto him large gunny
sack dropped from the roof Of one Of the build
ings. and it descended, filled with air. COM
ing down with mouth wide open, like a balloon.
1t struck the unfortunate man squarely over
the head. covering him completely down below
the shoulders. and pinioning his arms so that
he had difficulty in extricating himself He
struggled as If he thought he We're being kid
mapped until he managed to get the sack off his
head.-New York Post.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
MY HEART AND I.

Enoughl we're tired my heart and I.
We sit beside the headstone thus,
And wish that name were carved for US.
The mess reprints more tenderly
The hard types Of the masons knife,
AS heavens sweet life renews earth's life
With which we're tired, my heart and /.
So tired, so tired. my heart and I!
Though now none takes me on his arm
To fold me close and kiss me warm
Till each quick breath end in sigh
OF happy languor. Now. alone.
We lean upon this graveyard stone.
Uncneered. unkissed. my heart and /.
Yet who complains? Ny heart and I!
In this abundant earth doubt
Is little room for things worn out:
Disiain them. break them. throw them by!
And II before the days grow rough
We once were loved. used. well enough.
/ think. we've Jared my heart and l.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Six passengers in street cars and three
conductors have been arraigned in a Lon
don Police Court, the former for getting on
n car when all the seats were occupied and
the latter for allowing them to get on. 1t
took a long time for London to see the
beauties of electric traffic, but the advan-
tage of waiting was that it enabled the old
town to profit by the experiences of more
modern cities. If such rule were applied
in Indianapolis, what n crowded docket
there would be at the Police Court!
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Twenty-Five years ago women were not
admitted to London University 1t was con-
tended at that time that women were not
capable OF keeping up with men in the uni
versity branches. or this years class
women claim thirty-five out of forty-seven
entries In the first division. Nineteen hon
ors out OF thirty-four fall to women OF
eight honor candidates passed five were
women. Who is IL that is mot capable of
keeping up?''
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

The bill submitted 10 Congress last week
BY Secretary Root for awarding medals TO
army officers and men entitled to rewards
for distinguished gallantry will probably
settle problem which has been trouble
some for long time. The sum OF $4,000
Is appropriated 10 derray the expenses of
5000 medals OF honor to be prepared with
suitable emblematic devices or improved
designs. as heretofore issued. and to di-
rect thai the same be presented In the
name or Congress. 10 such officers. nom
commissioned officers and privates. and to
those who formerly served as such. as
have most distinguished themselves by
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

An eminent music critic in New York
some time ago made a bet of $4,000 that
"Parsifal' would never be produced in that
city. When he saw that he was about to
lose his bet, he started in TO raise the money
by lecturing on 'Parsifal" His first lee
ture netted him half the amount needed,
and he thinks the rest will be easy. 1t is
"aut Parsifal aut nullus' in New York this
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

The greatest advertising scheme ever I'M
dertaken by a daily paper has just been
closed by the London Times, having been
successfully engineered by American.
The newspaper devoted s1,OOO,OO0 worth of
advertising space to the sale of the Ency-
clopedia Britannica on the installment plan.
The man who promoted the scheme was
few years ago clerk in a bookstore in this
country; he has now accumulated fortune
and owns large English estate.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

their gallantry in action and other soldier
ike qualities. and also to replace by such
medals those that have already been Is
sued under the joint resolution of Congress,
approved July y, 1862. and Section of the
act of Congress. approved March 3, 1s63.''
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Persons sending the Journal through the mails
In the United States should put on an eight-page
a tweIve-page paper q 1-cent stamp: six
teen. twenty or twenty four page paper, 2-cent
stamp Foreign hostage Is usually double these
rates
All communications intended for publication IN
this paper must. IN order TO receive attention. be
accompanied BY the name and address OF the
writer
Rejected manuscripts will rot be ret Tned un-
less postage j. inclosed for that pu.lat=e.
Entered as second-class master a; IadiaHa po.s,
Ind, postoGice
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
THE HUMORISTS.
Feminine Revenge.

THAT woman in front of US prevents me
from seeing the stage
We'll that's too badl 1 don't see what can
be done about it. 1 suppose she has the right
to pile her hair high she likes"
"Oh 1 wouldn't raise a word Of objection If
Ii was her HAIRCUT it isn't"
And the lady in the front seat heard every
word of this-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Crushing.

The little daughter OF well-known New York
musician was much chagrined the other day by
the ingenious remark of new friend" Said
the little girl proudly:
my father Is an organist."
"And does he have monkey?'' the
prompt rejoinder.-New York Post.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

An Iowa man who celebrated his one
hundredth birthday last week has chewed,
smoked and drunk every day for eighty
years-and he is in good health, considering.
But then, perhaps if he hadn't done these
things he might have been 80 by this time.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

A rich Englishwoman has left Andrew
Carnegie 5000 in her will, cutting off sew
eral poor but expectant relatives without a
penny ITO him who hath shall be given,
and from him who hath not shall be taken
away, even that which he hath"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

The will Of Spaniard contains bequest of
$40. 600 to the first Spanish general who shall
land in the United States and avenge the de-
feats of Cuba and the Philippines. Until this
event the money is to remain on deposit in the
Bank of Spain. We know this bank is in
corporated, making it's life immortal, but we
believe the deposit will outlive its guardian.
Washington Times
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Among left-handed persons the proportion
of criminals has been discovered by Pro-
lessor Lombroso TO be three times as great
as among the right-handed. Then. since
the left hand is controlled by the right side
Of the brain. may 1t not be inferred that the
right side OF the brain is the dwelling place
Of original sin?
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Paris is complaining of epidemic or
dense fogs. Perhaps this is what comes of
apng London manners; and then, again,
perhaps they the remains of one of
those Far Eastern war clouds which have
been doing so much lowering and SO little
aIighting.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Indianapolis retail merchants say that
at the present rate the holiday trade this
year will exceed that of last year, which
broke the record. Why should it not? The
city contains more people, the interurban
lines bring thousands of new customers and
general prosperity prevails.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
The Way of IL.

1--WE will never give up" said the South
American military leader.
"Give up WHAT" asked the coldly practical
man.
And after a moment OF reflection the military
leader candidly replied: Anything we can get
our hands on. Washington Star.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Plus X is reported to be in poor health
and spirits: he finds the Papal office a
crown of thorns. and chafes at the re-
straint of the Vatican. The Italian press is
hostile, and there are financial troubles,
too. In spite OF the reported rich finds and
legacies. Trebly uneasy lies the head that
wears the triple crown.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
He Said No.

Father-So you took dinner at Willie Stout s
house to-day. 1 hope when it came to extra
helpings you had manners enough to say mo"
Tommy-Oh. yes. sir, 1 said mo- several
times.
Father-You did, Ell?
Tommy--Yes. sir; Mrs. Stout kept askin' me
IL had enough.-Philadelph Press.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Old Jokes Take Best.

1T must be very discouraging TO the men
who write comedy, and especially 10 the men
who write the H5rettos OF the musical comedies
10 realize that the old jokes are the ones that
invariably get the laugh said the veteran
theater- goer. II have frequently observed this
state OF affairs The original humor that the
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

The Columbia sophomores have issued an
edict that the freshmen cannot wear crush
hats nor smoke pipes. No rebellIous voice
has been raised against this decree. which
shows that American colleges are not DEM
pcratic I'm spirit, but distinctly feudal.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Governor Terrell, of Georgia, leader of the
pective United States senator, has made a
speech strongly indorsing President Roose-
velts Panama policy and declaring that 1t
Is not party issue and cannot be con-
strued as such. The South wants the canal.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

when young man. an old one. for that
matter finds that he Is immensely popular In
barrcoms he should Immediately quit tipping.
Excessive attention 10 a patron OF the fourth
rail means as sure az death and taxes that he
is doing much In support OF the establish
ment, that he Is depriving himself OF brains. his
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Paid Too Much.

Senator Tillman 500 counterfeit bill
from a Chautauqua for his lecture the race
question. and some people think that was too
much.-Memphis Commercial-Appeal
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Difference.

Women" remarked the after-dinner phllos-
opher ''are all alike in respect"
I'm what respect?' asked the information
seeker.
in being different from each other" replied
the philosophical observer.-Chicago News.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Archbishop Ireland has issued through
the Associated Press at st. Paul a state
ment congratulating the country on the
happy termination Of the negotiation for the
sale OF the friars' lands in the Philippines
and praising President Roosevelt's states
manship. The archbishop is a very patri-
otto American
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Hint for j. II. Morgan.

Mr.. ]. p. Morgan is. credited with a $3.50 OOC
bid for an original copy Of Paradise Lost. -
Some OF the people who associated with
some of his promotions will wish that he would
display much interest in losses of an
entirely mundane nature.-Washngton Star.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

A mail steamer leaving New York the
other day carried $1.5OoOOO in postal money
orders representing Christmas gifts sent
from persons in this country to friends and
relatives abroad. America furnishes a
merry Christmas for the old world.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Hint for EyangcIists.

Evangelsts might make their missions more
successful by adapting their discourses the
progressive age in which they live: Climbing
up the golden stairs is not an alluring refrain
to him who is accustomed to the use OF ele-
vators.-New Orleans Times Democrat.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
beyond Chicago.s CRASH.

To make a town a decent place TO die in does
not. in any sense. subtract from its desirability
as a place 10 live in. though Chicago does not
seen TO quite grasp this proposition. kansas
City
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Japan is withheld from war by financial
difficulties as well as by other considera-
tions. III her ally. Great Britain, would
market the japanese war loans IL would
be plain sailing. But Great Britain real
ICES that trouble would follow such an act.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Another Flying Machine.

Fate was very kind. very kind. 10 Mrs. Aurora
Hodge. 1t took her from the shadow Of the
penitentiary and waited her spirit before her
Maker. and to Him she has atoned for her
crime. 1t is better so.--Richheld CUtah) Re-
publican
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Another Anti-Semitic drama is having a
tremendous vogue in the French capital.
Concerning it, critic says that the Chris
tians go to applaud 1t, and the Jews sell
the tickets.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Money viii Not He Excluded.

Elijah Dowie announces that he intends TO
build a wall is feet high and III feet thick
around Zion City. He will probably leave open
ings, though. under guard for the admission OF
silly people who want to put their money In his
hands.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Senator Stone. OF Missouri. says the
masses of the Democratic party have the
highest confidence in Mr. Bryan's capacity
and craftsmanship" Craftsmanship since
when?
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

II will be in order now for the Democrats
in the Senate to oppose ratification of the
agreement for the purchase of the friars'
lands in the Philippines because it was
concluded without consulting the Senate.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Spread of Learning.

Colombia has been warned by the European
powers that IL she gets into trouble with Uncle
Sam she will have to get herself out of it. The
European powers have learned an awful lot in
the last few years.-Chicago Inter Ocean,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

The Rev. Morgan Dix tells us that the woman
Can't somebody Introduce Mr. Dix into a little
decent society ?-Louisville Courler-Journal
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

If it is possible to do so. use electric bulbs
in place of candles on the Christmas tree.
They are prettier and a thousand times
safer.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Hopeless Prospect,

The anti-Panama senator's may get up a war
with the United States but they cannot expect
to whip us-not even with Colombia's help
Philadelphia Press
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Timely suggestion.

1t might be a good plan to import a few
Hottentots If they couldn't do something
in the way of civilizing the livery drivers. strik-
ing in Chicago.-Detroit Journal.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
Occult Knowledge.

do you believe in teepathy?'
well. this morning man paid me hundred
dollars he owed me, and this afternoon / got a
letter from my wife asking for a hundred"
Life.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

employer OF time. and his wife and children Of
the common necessities OF life Think Il over.
New York Press
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

DENVER, Col.-Louthaln & Jackson. Fifteent
and Lawrence streets, and "A. Smith. los
Champa street.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
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The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

LOUISvILLE-C. T. Deering. northwest corner
OF Third and Jefferson Streets and Bluefeld
Bros, Az West Market street
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

ST. LOUIS-Union News Company. Union Depot
WASHINGTON. d. C.-RIggs House. Ebbiti
House. Fairfax Hotel. willard Hotel.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

DAYTON. OIL. " WiIke. % South Jefferson
street
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street
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

cINcINNATi-J. II. HawIey & Co. Arcade
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

CHICAGO-Palmer House. Auditorium Ann
Hotel. Dearborn station News Stand
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
THE INDIANAPOLIS JOURNAL

Can be found al the following places:
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The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24
THE lkDlAkEPCLS JOURNAL NEWSPAPER CO.
INDIANAPOLIS, Ind.

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The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-24

Late last night IL was authoritatively
stated by man who stands close to Mayor
Hoffman and City Chairman Reach that
Wallace Maines will to-day announce his
candidacy for the Democratic district chair
manship against Mr.. Fanning