davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12
SEARCHING FOR TRUTHS.

A man who was searching for the
truth met in the course of his travels
a certain woman, and he said to her !:
I hope you are as good as you are
beautiful. :"
What makes you think 1 am beau-
tiful?" the woman asked.
Because" replied the man who
was searching for Truth, "by the
standard of beauty that exists among
the people with whom 1 have been
brought up, you would have enough
points to pass the examination with
ease"
"But," said the woman, who was
very inquisitive, all this may be
true of the people whom you know,
but how about those on the other
side of the world? Their standard of
beauty is wholly different, and ac-
acording to them, wouldn't pass.
Where, then, lies the Truth? 7"
"What you say" remarked the
man who was searching for Truth,
Is, OI course, true.
"But is it true?" said the woman.
"The mere fact that 1 have said it,
and thatit strikes you as being true,
doesn't make it SO"
The man who was searching for
Truth was struck with the ingenious
subtleness of her reply.
THAT IS also true" he replied.
"Yet, manifestly, if that is true,
some of the other things were not
true. And if they are not true, they
must be false, and if they are false.
then the truth of even your last state-
ment may, after all, be false. You
are, indeed, wise woman. Your
power of analysis is the best I have
ever seen-ina woman. In fact, you
are just the one I have been looking
for in my great search. You can
help me if anyone can. And now,
let us begin at the beginning"
"All right" said the woman, "go
ahead"
every well," said the man who
was searching for Truth. ST will
take back what / said about your
being beautiful. You are not beau-
tiful."
Then the woman arose.
Enough II she cried. Good
bye. The conversation of such a liar
as you are ceases to interest me-"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12
HOW WOMEN CARRIED KANSAS.

What women with the elective
franchise can do when they make up
their minds to get control of the
schools is we'll illustrated by the re-
turns from the school district elections
in Kansas.
The returns also tend to destroy
the venerable, time-worn tradition to
the effect that women cannot keep
secret, and hence are untitled for pol
itics. The issues of the campaign in
Kansas upon which the women
achieved their victory were kept a
secret in each district until the day
of balloting. Incredible as this may
seem, it appears to be abundantly af-
firmed by the dispatches from the
Sunfower State.
The platform on which the women
quietly conducted winning fight de-
clared in favor of wiping out the
Objectionable provisions of the State
teachers contracts, which prohibited
teachers from receiving calls from
their admiring male friends during
the school term and provided for for
feiture of portion of their salaries if
the women married before the end of
the school. terms.
That such provisions could be in
corporated in teachers contracts in
such an advanced commonwealth as
Kansas taxes the credulity of ordina-
ry minds, but there appears to be no
doubt that school boards, where the
men were in control, were disposed
to enforce them to the letter. When
it became evident that these boards
intended incorporating these sense
less provisions in the teachers con-
tracts for the new school year the
women of the State prepared for a
fight. They "went after" their hus-
bands, brothers and sweethearts in
the most approved style of t he
smooth politician. A campaign was
organized which aroused the women
of the State in every district where
their liberties were IN en- aced."
Every woman was argued to go to
the polls on the day of election and
vote for three women for members of
the district board.
And, like clever politicians, they
swooped down on the polls in the af-
ternoon of election day before the
men could marshal their scattered
forces. And they saved the day for
Kansas schoolma am. For m any
years to come it is not likely that any
school board will attempt to use the
schools as an agency for discouraging
matrimony.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12
QUEER FACTS ABOUT RAIN.

"Do you know" said the obser-
want citizen, ''the habit of running
through the rain is based on de6n-
ite fallacy? 1t is common habit.
But does it tend to minimize the
amount of water falling on a person
exposed to the rain? / am convinced
that it rather aggravates the situa
ton. By experience, in passing the
distance of a block, running one time
and walking the other, and at time
when. the rainfall was about the same,
I found that my clothes picked up
more water and were consequently
damper when covered the distance
in a run than they were when I
walked.
"There seems to be good reason
for the rather curious fact. Rain
falls irregularly. Sometimes there is
space of FIVE or six inches between
the falling drops, as we have noticed
on smooth surfaces, like stone flag
ging, and again only the fraction of
an inch will separate the drops.
Water occasionally falls in sheets,
But this is not usual. But while the
fall is irregular, considered with re-
spect to the perpendicular lines de-
scribed in the descent, looking straight
ahead and through the lines we will
find before us a sheet of water that
is well-nigh solid. We can under
stand that running against this sheet
of water will have very much the
same effect wind would have if its
direction forced the rain into our
faces. We simply pick up the water
and the fact that the spaces between
the drops, perpendicularly consider
ed, are greater than the spaces in any
given direction horizontally will ex-
plain to us the fallacy of the whole
thing"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12
citizens are enabled to collectively

citizens are enabled to collectively
classify him as very "hard case"
Alas ! qualities fade away; hence
for an editor to be an adjective is
doubtful good !; to be noun is some
thing better, yet as names perish, to
be noun means to be short-lived !;
and, to be a case, with an editor, is
nothing uncommon.
The best and greatest enduring ex-
istence is in action-immortal. Un-
dying actions are the motive powers,
the incarnation of thought, the en-
bodiment of purpose. are imperisha-
BILE. Then, let every editor be verb,
that which expresses action, and with
out which the sentence oflife is mean-
ingless.
Nouns are empty names, adjectives
are ever changing shadows, but verbs
are living forces. throbbing energies,
immortal powers. Then, let every
editor be verb-not a passive"
verb, expressing action received not
"neuter" verb, denoting bare ex-
istence; but an "active transitive"
verb, in the indicative mood and pres
ent tense. A transitive verb, con-
trolling and governing appetites. pas
sions and ambitions present tense,
always ready, neither reaching too
far into the future nor tagging back
in the past, grasping every moment
and making today alive and an ever
living day.
By all means avoid the subjunctive
mood, the expression of doubt and
uncertainty. Positiveness is the ele-
ment essential to the highest type Of
character, necessary to commendable
success. That word eff the very
sign of the subjunctive mood, is de-
stuctive of force. 1t is the evil pro-
phet of defeat and the forerunner of
danger. The subjunctive mood of
the general, the doubt of the captain,
caused a panic in the rank, brought
defeat upon the army and resulted in
the ruin of nation. Then
Write the great law in the alphabet of fame,
Sound the prophecy and psalms abroad;
Doubts awful tempests veil the tents Of shame,
And for scepter hath given broken rod.
Press and Printer.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12
a WILD RHYEI.

"Say," said the man with the cor.
rect clothes and the bowed back and
horny hands of a farmer, to the res
taurant waiter, ''have you got pig
jowl and greens here! An butter
milk! An corn bread? An kin ]
shovel the truck in with knife and
take my coat off p
The waiter told him he could be ac-
commodated in all particulars.
The ex-farmer removed his coat
and sat down opposite a man who
looked as if he might be willing tc
listen, and explained:
cts been two years now," said
he, "sence we struck gas on the farm
and I amt had square meal sence
Been film up on Charley horse Ru-
sizes, soohay de allrhazam, an al
them French dishes ever sence. That
is what comes of marrying woman
who believes in keepin' up with the
percession when you got the price, a.
she puts it,
II should think you would have re
belled long ago." said the listener.
Would, but you see, about three
years ago I was deep in debt that
had to put the farm in her name.
sneaked away today an left her at one
Of them fine hotels. I'm goin' t
have an orgie of old-fashioned vittels
sasprilly pop, an mebbe beer or two
an go back and tell what I've did
an eff she wants to get divorce sh'
kin git it. Old Eli will hev had hi.
day of freedom for few glorious
hours, anyhow |"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12
WHY he WAS NOT PROMOTED

He watched the clock.
He was always grumbling.
He was always behind-hand.
He had no iron in his blood.
He was willing, but untitled.
He didn't believe in himself.
He asked too many questions.
He was stung by a bad book.
His stock excuse was II forgot"
He wasn't ready for the next step.
He did not put his heart in his
work.
He learned nothing from his blum
ders.
He felt that he was above his posi-
ton.
He chose his friends among his in
feriors.
He was content to be second-rate
man.
He did not think it worth while to
learn how.
He never dared to act on his own
judgment.
He ruined his ability by half doing
things.
He tried to make "bluff' take the
place Of ability.
He thought he must take amuse-
ment every evening.
Familiarity with slipshod methods
paralyzed his ideal.
He thought it was clever to use
coarse aud profane language.
He was ashamed of his parents be-
caase they were old-fashioned.
He initiated the habits of men who
could stand more than he could.
He did not learn that the best part
of his salary was not in his pay enve-
lope.-Ei0ns .SncceSs.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12
WHEN rHE FROST IS ON THE PUMPKIN.

When the frost is on the punkin an the folders
in the shock,
And you hear the kyouck and gobbie of the
struttin' turkey cock,
And the clackin' of the guineas, and the cluckin'
And the ROSTERS hallylooyer as he tip-toes on
Oh, it's then the time feller is afeelin' at his
best,
With the risin' sun to greet him from a night of
AS he leaves the house, bareheaded, and goes out
to feed the stock,
When the frost is on the punkin an the folders
in the shock.
They's something kindo' harty-like about the
When the heat of summers over and the coolin'
fall Is here
OF course we miss the flowers, and the blossoms
And the humble Of the hummin'- birds and buzz
zin' of the bees;
But the air is appetfzin', and the landscape
OF a crisp and sunny morning of the airly
autumn days
Is pictur,' that no painter has the colorin' to
When the frost is on the punkin an the folders
in the shock.
The husky, rusty russell of the tossels of the
corn,
And the raspin' Of the tangled leaves, as golden
The stubble in the furries- -kindo' lonesomelike,
but still
A-preachin' sermons to us of the barns thcy
The strawstack in the medder, and the reaper In
the shed;
The hosses In their stalls below-the clover over
head -
Oh it sets my heart a-clickin' like the tickin' of
clock,
When the frost is on the punkin an the folders
in the shock
Then your apples all is gethered. and the ones a
feller keeps
Is poured around the cellar floor, In red and
ye!ler heaps;
And your cider makin's over, and your wimmen
folks Is through
With their mince and apple butter, and their
souse and sausage, too;
don't know how to tell it-but of sech thing
could be
As the angels wantin' boardin', and they'd call
around on me-
I'd want to 'commodate email the whole
indurin' flock,
When the frost is on the punkin an the folders
in the shock =
-.Tdsnee WhifcO,nh PiLeu
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12

SHE-"Why, I thought the widow
was going to let two years elapse be-
fore marrying again?"
He-'"That was her original in
tention, but she told me confidential
ly that she thought she ought to
have eight months off for good be-
havior."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12
THE NEW LITTLE GIRL.

A female child approached me not
long ago on the street. An air OF re-
fnement and good breeding attended
her. I paused and pleasantly OBJ
served her.
"Hello, grandpa p exclaimed the
child. "Has anybody seen Our cat ?"
I made no reply.
"Speak up" said the child, eff
you don't happen to have amputated
your voice. I've lost kind of tall
cat, done off in tortoise-shell finish.
Her feet don't track, but she's sound
and kind, city broke, stands without
hitching and answers to the name of
Laura Jean Libbey. Where is she 7"
Young woman said I, II am
not aware that I have the honor of
your acquaintance" !"
Don't let that cause you any in
somnia, grandpa" said the female
child. ''I am not trying to make a
hit with you. Either you We seen my
cat or you haven't. If you haven't,
we'll part in a friendly way, with no
clothes torn. If you have, I'd like
you to produce, dig up and relinquish
the cat. Is it a go? Is there any
thing doing in the feline way9"
NO" said I.
"Then so long," said the female
child.
This, sir, 1 presume, is the result
of our system of educational and home
training, allowing children to develop
along the lines of least resistance.
Syracuse Post Standard.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12
And so Bessie found it.
A WFsrERN teacher. instructing 3

A WESTERN teacher, instructing a
class in composition, said: do not
attempt any flights of fancy; be your
selves and write what's in you."
The following day bright pupil
handed in the following: 1--WE
should not attempt eny fites of fancy,
rite what is in us. In me there is my
stomach, lungs, heart, liver, two ap-
pies, one piece of mince pie, three
sticks of candy, hull lot of peanuts
and my dinner"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12

TEAcHKR-"And now, Johnny,
tell why the school will be closed on
Thanksgiving Day?"
Johnny-''So that we may have
something to be thankful for"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12

HE-"What is that new piece you
are playing? Is it by Wagnerl"
She-"No, it's 'Hiawatha, but the
piano is out of tune"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12

SHE-"Do thoughts that came to
you long ago ever return ?"
He Ga poet &c Sure, if I enclose a
stamped envelope"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12

VAIN PARsoN-Some people ac-
cuse m of stealing my sermons,
Brother Gotrox do you think | do {
Brother Gotrox--You may steal
'em, all right, but if you do, you use
awful bad judgment in selecting for
aging grounds.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12

SOME MEN are like sunshine about
their homes. They are never there
at night.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12

A MISSOURI editor has created a
strong sensation by printing strong
editorial defensive of Sunday fishing.
He insists it is no more a sin to
catch fish on Sunday than to catch
a yellow-legged chicken for a minis
.ter's dinner"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12

A. FUssER-"What would you do
if / would kiss you !"
Mary McLane-"I would scream
for help"
A. Fusser-"Why, don't you think
/ could do it alone?"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12
IN THE BEGINNING.

(Which did de Lord make first,
Brudder johnson, de hen or de egg ?"
"De hen, OBJ kose-de egg comes
from de hen"
"Yais but de hen comes from de
egg, too"
"Now, see var, Brudder Jefferson
EFF de Lord had made de egg fust,
he'd had to make incubator to hatch
it, sawmill to get de wood fo' de in
cubator, tin mine fo' de tin, a win
der glass factory fo' de glass, cotton
plant fo' de cotton battin' steam
heatin' plant fo' de heat, an drug
store fo' a thermometer to tell de
temper ture, besides getting de per-
mission O. some walkin' delegate to
operate dem industries, an takin'
chances on de egg hatchin' at dat.
No, Brudder Jefferson, de Lord dun
simply make de hen fust, an All reck-
on he didn't make colored man TO-
a wear or two after"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-12

HERE IS certain Maine lads def
inition of anatomy: Anatomy is
the human body, which consists of
three parts, the head, the chist and
the stummick. The head contains
the eyes and brains, if any the chist
contains the lungs and piece of the
liver. The stummick is devoted to
the bowels, of which there are FIVE,
a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes W and y"
Amador ledger., 1903-05-01
THE OMNIBUS.
II Was Introduced by Blaise Pascal,
the Noted Mathematician.

II Was introduced by Blaise Pascal,
the Noted Mathematician.
No less a parsonage than the famous
mathematician, Blaise Pascal, Is said
to have introduced the vehicle which
we call the omnibus" Unlike most
other men of learning, Pascal was more
or less interested in the affairs Of prac-
teal life. He was the inventor Of the
pushcart that now perambulates our
streets, says the Scientific American.
In 1861 he had large wagons built
for regular traffic in the heart of Paris.
He allied himself in this undertaking
with several influential friends, amsng
whom was the Duke of Roannes.
In 1862 Louis XIV. granted letters
patent to Pascal, in which II was said
that these carriages were intended for
the comfort of poor people who had to
go to courts of justice or who were
sick and so poor that they could not af-
ford to pay the two pistoes exacted by
the chairmen and the drivers of
coaches.
At first the use Of the vehicle was
not generally permitted. A royal de-
cree forbade its use by soldiers, pages,
lackeys and other liveried servants, as
well as artisans and porters.
Pascal, in spite of the fact that he
only lived to be thirty nine, is said to
have made no inconsiderable sum out
of his invention.
After the vehicle had been in use
some sixteen years it was abandoned
for various reasons. 1t was not until
1912 that 1t was again introduced, this
time in Bordeaux, which city was fol-
lowed In 1921 by Nantes and in 1927
by Paris. The vehicle was improved
and rapidly became popular. Now it
has been almost displaced by the tram
way.
In modern times the vehicle was
called an omnibus simply for the rea-
son that it was intended for the car
riage Of all. without any restrictions as
to lackeys, pages or footmen.
Amador ledger., 1903-05-01
STANTON'S IRISH STEW.
A Story of the Great War Secretary
r. Told by His BodyGuard

Story of the Great War Secretary
a. Told by His BOdyguard.
An attempt by Secretary of War
Stanton to cook an Irish stew while
holding the war department office
against the removal order of President
Andrew Johnson is one of many anec-
dotes related by Louis Koerth, at the
period mentioned the great war secre-
tary's bodyguard.
Feb. 81. 1868, President johnson ap-
pointed General Lorenzo Thomas Sec
retary of war ad interim, but the pow
er of removal having been taken by
the tenure Of office act from the presi-
dent. Mr.. Stanton refused to resign or
to vacate the office of secretary
He camped in the Office, determined
to hold it until the result of the i'm
peachment proceedings against the
president, which were then pending in
the senate. should be determined. For
sixty days Mr.. Stanton held ''the fort, I"
and during that period his faithful
bodyguard, ex-Sergeant Louis Koerth,
then in the United States general serv-
ice, assigned to the war department,
kept him company.
On the day in which Mr.. Stanton re-
ceived the official notification of his
removal by the president he made i'm
mediate preparations for q siege. He
dispatched. Sergeant Koerth to Mrs.
Stanton for blankets and pillows, but
that lady refused to send them, insist
ing that the secretary should come
home and give up the office.
Mr.. Stanton smiled on receiving her
message and simply said:
'Koerth, go to your own house and
bring blankets, pillows and such cook
ing utensils as we may need"
The Irish stew was the first effort
of the secretary and his bodyguard.
Koerth, being a German, needed in
structions in the mysteries of prepar-
ing the sayory stew, and the secretary
named the various ingredients, which
he ordered the servant to purchase.
Both men had spent busy and Ia
boriously exciting day, and both were
tired out when the pot was put on the
fire TO cook the stew.
The consequence was that the great
war secretary and his bodyguard fell
asleep. The secretary was the first to
be awakened by the smell Of the burn
ing stew.
"Koerth, Koerthl Wake up, man!'
shouted Mr.. Stanton. 1.-THE stew is
burningr'
Koerth sprang to his feet. but, alas,
too late to save Mr.. Stanton's Irish
stew 1t was burned and smoking,
while the pot was glowing red. Rue
fully the secretary rolled himself up In
his blankets on the sofa and went to
sleep for the night supper1ess.-Wash-
ington Post.
Amador ledger., 1903-05-01
HOW DOGS FIND THEIR WAY
Evidence That They Possess Pecul-

Evidence That They Possess Pecul-
lar Power to Guide Them.
In the old days of the James river
canal fine setter was taken by his
master on a packet boat which was 80
crowded that the dog was put in the
captains cabin to be out Of the way,
says the New York Mail and Express
His owner reached his destination aft
er nightfall and had taken 80 much
wine by that time that he was carried
off the boat, and no one remembered
his setter
Next morning the captain took the
dog on deck with him, but was much
afraid he would jump off to the tow
path and try to return that way, and so
handsome an animal would have been
in danger of being stolen
Carlo, however, lay perfectly quiet,
but with an air of listening that at
tracted notice. Toward noon he heard
the sound of the horn of O packet COM
ing from the opposite way, and as the
boats passed each other he made leap
and was next heard from as having
SUI Oh TIC pidCC WhcIS ulo IudSLeT
had stopped and as having gone at
once to the house where he was q
guest.
Could human intelligence have sur
passed that?
This same dog lay on his masters
grave and refused food until be died
from starvation. But do not give this
as a case in point.
A gentleman who lived a hundred
miles from q city moved there with all
his possessions, including a bulldog
which had been raised at his fathers
home, where he had hitherto resided.
He was locked up In the car with the
furniture and in the hustle of unloading
disappeared, and two days afterward
he reached his former home, coming by
an inland route, as was known by par
ties who recognized him, so that he evil
IDENTIFY marked out his own path with
out reference to the railroad on which
he had been carried away.
Amador ledger., 1903-05-01
Appreciated Himself.

A little boy while playing near the
Serpentine fell into the water. An
Irish laborer who was passing at the
time courageously jumped into the wa
ter, clothes and all. and rescued the
boy, says Spare Moments.
A lady who had observed the brave
deed went up to Pat and, shaking his
hand, said:
II feel 1t an honor, my brave man,
to shake hands with you. Many q
worse man than you has been present
ed at court"
Faith, you're roight, num-" replied
Pat as he proceeded to wiring the wa
ter out of his coat. ''Th' last tonne OF
was presinted at court OF only got one
month, whole me mate got two, begor-
RAP