The Saint Paul globe., 1903-11-14
SHALL THEY CALL ?
QUESTION WHETHER WOMEN
SHOULD CALL AFTER TEAS
Woman Who Is Socially Busy Wants to
Know What to Do-Girls in st. Paul
Are Not All Polite.

A busy social season and the ques-
tions of etiquette which naturally rise
therefrom bring many letters to this
page, written by anxious inquirers who
want to know what's what in regard
to calls, teas, etc. One of our readers
who has been going out great deal
to debutante's teas and other entertain
ments writes to ask whether or not
it is incumbent upon guests to call on
the hostess soon afterward.
Authorities differ upon this point.
Among some ultra persons who rather
pride themselves upon their knowledge
of correct social usage, it is considered
not necessary to make call after tea,
as is customary after dinners, lunch
cons or parties. The ultra smart
mother who introduces her daughter
regards the women who come to the
tea as callers upon her daughter and
herself, and within a month after the
affair she and the debutante will make
visits upon all those invited to the tea,
and thus return the calls of those who
accepted their hospitality. This GUS
tom much prevails in the East, and
those of us who would like to do as
New York does make no calls after
teas. But there is another side to
this question, and a different way or
looking at it. A certain number Of
old fashioned, conservative women,
who, if they err at all it is upon the
side of courtesy, incline to the making
of calls after any hospitality offered
by friends and acquaintanceS. And
this is not from any lack of knowl-
edge of good form, or from Ignorance
Of the manners of good society, but
from infexible rules they have always
adhered to and which show a respect
for themselves and others more than
refreshing in a careless age. There
are many of these punctilious women in
st. Paul, and a few young women-not
many. 1t has become fad with a
certain set of girls in this town not
to make calls. They expect to be in
vited and depend upon their position or
popularity to include them in every
thing, but they do not care to take the
trouble to call afterward. They may
find this thing does very well while
they are young and charming, but un-
less they are courteous to older women
and keep up their calls, in year OF
two, when another set comes up, they
will find themselves forgotten.
In answer to the woman who writes
about tea calls (from which we have
rather drifted), it can be said that a
call afterward is never amiss even
though some of the ultra smart folk
Go not make IH6IIl. IL Is d Coul lCoy
that any hostess appreciates, and 1t will
never do any harm. 1t is better to be
too polite than not polite enough. 1t
a woman entertains a good deal, is al
ways inviting her friends, and is a
busy woman besides, she may be par
doned if she does not make her calls
promptly. But the woman who cannot
or does not entertain, and yet is much
invited, should endeavor to make her
calls. That is her way of acknowledge
ing the courtesy of her friends. Calling
seems almost to have gone out of FASH
ion, owing to great demand on the
time of women who are socially much
engaged. st. Paul society has become
such an unwieldy thing that it is al
most impossible to get round more
than once in one or two years. 1t is
really better to have a few friends and
see great deal of them than to know,
hundreds and only catch glimpses of
them now and then at some afternoon
crush But that is another question,
and we can say to the woman who
wrote that she will be regarded by
those worth knowing. at least, as cour-
teous, and not ignorant, if she calls
after social affairs of every kind.