New-York tribune., 1903-04-19
PHRENOLOGY IN THE STATE LEGISLATURE.
An ASSEMBLYMAN WHO SIZES Up HIS FELLOUS BY
THE BUMPS OF THEIR HEADS

Albany April l6-Tne secret has at last leaked
out that the Assembly contains phrenologlst.
Many of the legislators learning the fact say
they are glad the session is it's close. They
say they may be able to leave Albany before
all the convolutiOns of their cerebrums and cere-
bellums have been publicly exploited. Others more
timd still, fearing that their brains will not es-
cape detection. have tried to hide them by keeping
their hats on. Such plan, however. has been
found mpracticable AS soon as the session opens
each morning they compelled to again expose
their craniums, and the chronological member
occupies a rear seat he has comprehensive view
of every skull in the chamber.
The phrenOlOgist is Halbert d. Stevens, OF Ma
lone the Editor of The Malone Farmer" the
champion trout fisherman of the Adirondaeks and
an amateur hen fancier. who has represented
Franklin County in the Assembly for the last four
years On returning to his constituents each sum
mer MIR. Stevens has been wont. after the fashion
of a successful opera singer. to announce that 1t
has been his last performance. and that he wants
to settle writing editorials. catching trout
and raising chickens. But the good people Of
Franklin County do not think Mr. Stevens is as
coy as he would make them think. and promptly
re-eect him.
Although the Editor of THE Malone Farmer
has been member of the Assembly all this time,
it was not until the close OF this session that his
fellow associates began to comprehend his genius
as a 'hrain reader" Some may have remarked
on the fact that he has always chosen seat wen
in the rear each year. where, from an elevated
site, he might have q sort or mosaic view or the
promised land but none had sought out a
son. Others may have noticed that often when
member was speaking Mr.. Stevens seemed to be
studying the mans head more than his words.
This is the way Mr. Stevens came TO be phre
nologist: Having curiosity one day TO know what
was in his own head. he went to famous brain
reader" and let the expert examine every nook
and Granny OF his scalp. After the searching
pedition had been completed the brain reader
Irofessed himself astoUnded by having found
genius greater than his own. Between the eyes OF
Mr Stevens the phrenoogist found growth in
the region of individuality, which he said Of
..predominatng bigness," This bump, said the
brain reader" was larger than nis own. and he
added that II Mr.. Stevens should study the art he
might BECOME greater phFenologist than
himself.
beneath your penetrating glance." said the ex-
pert "you will be able 10 read human character
like an open scroll In comparison with you, will
be a veritable John the Baptist
With such words of cheer, Mr.. Stevens started to
master the science OF phrenology and was sur
nrised with the advancement he made Skulls that
before had been thick and had resisted all his
arguments revealed their hoows and weaknesses
and offered half a hundred clews by which he
could influence the gray matter within. He found
that his new knowledge proved a key to many
legislative difficulties which he had been unable to
overcome before Chairmen of committees who
had hitherto turned a dear entreates to
re2ort bills began to bow to his mysterious power
Bills that the Republican leaders In doubt OF
passing thev finally learned 10 intrust to the
Frankin County member. For example. when the
onnositiou to the excise legislation becoming
very spirited and had generated much alcohol
that the Republicans feared the Democrats would