Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1903-08-28

| (Pieces of individual opinion washed up by
the tide, doomed. sawed, split and piled for the
perusal and pastime of those who have enough
nerve to read it,
When the wife's away the man will
play.
He laughs best who laughs at the
right time.
The older q woman gets the fewer
heroes she sees.
The Cleveland yell is now heard at
Gray Gables"
A pencil and pad OF paper spoils
many a good chambermaid and hotel
clerk.
The reason hens lay eggs in the day
time is because at nighttime they are
| rOOsters.
II some people were like other peo-
pie, there would be no people like
some people.
What's the matter with naming the
newspaper trust now being formed in
this State Sammy's own"
There is more happiness in the song
OF the planer in the mill, than the
coon song of the girl at the piano.
That supposed new comet with two
tails may be editor Hearst's Presiden-
tial boom looking for place to light.
Little Hawaii ought to to know that
Uncle Sam wants half.government pol
icy with full-government responsible
ity.
We have discovered why they call
Chicago the Windy City," 1t is be.
cause she harbors 1902 lawyers within
her gates.
1t is a fact that while there is a
great quantity of water in Seattle that
she can produce many dirty people in
politics, as we'll as out.
When the average man knows that
thing is none of his business, the
very knowledge of the fact begets an
irresistible interest in it.
If mobocracy is not restrained some
way, white men will soon be mobbing
each other, and there will be race sui
eide, or fratricide, and no joke.
1t keeps man busy thinking and
working, when he is in the parlor how
to avoid stepping on the rugs placed
there by his wife just to look at.
We note in the papers that the pro-
hibitionists have carried Texas. The
other fellow must have been too jag
heavy to 60 to the polls and vote.
1t would be interesting to know
what baby would say, could it talk
when q wrinkled-faced old maid grabs
it up and nearly squeezes the life out
of it.
The New Yorker who committed
suicide because the weather was toe
hot, is now no doubt wishing ne had
taken Mark Hanna's advice to "Let
we'll enough alone"
Bill-"Did you hear about poor
Johnsonf He has the fever and his
friends have given up all hope"
Joe" That's too bad. Typhoid?"
Bill-"No, Alaska"
OF all the unbearable, insu fferable,
intolerable nuissnces, it is the neigh.
boring woman who wants to air her
family troubles and rattle the bones OF
the skeleton in the closet.
The Southern papers can now al.
lude to the whiterape-fi end" who
was mobbed at Asotin, this State.
whats sauce for the goose is sauce
for the gander." you know.
If the same papers that roasted Gen.
Miles, some years ago, who now are
praising him, know perhaps what the
General thought of them, they would
not even mention his name.
Has brave, good and true Admiral
Schley faded from the public gaze?
Say, you Eastern reporters, get a
hustle on, and let US know how the
dear old Admiral is getting along.
Will Dorothy Dix
Ever stop writing
Against the married men?
Yet the answer it cometh,
Like lightning it runneth;
mot much, get paid, my dear man."
Kentucky has endorsed Roosevelt
despite the fact that he is not q con-
sumer of that States moist goods. He
is manifesting just now, however, some
wonderful adaptations to conditions
ED.l
A typewriters' union has been
started "to embrace all the operators
except those who conduct business Of
their own" 1t remains to be seen
whether the typewriters wish to be
embraced.
A married woman in Olympia wor-
ries so much, and is so lonesome when
she doesn't, that her husband is think
ing OF putting fretwork all over the
house, just to make the surrou ndings
consistent.
The astronomer at the Lick observ-
atory is seeing so many new stars,
comets and things lately that a suspi-
Ciou Is gaming Stouuu tHot ne may DC
using less imposing glass than the
big telescope.
We don't believe that God expects
young girls to visit saloons at II
o'clock at night, in down Sound
cities, in order to show their love for
Him, offering Var Cry's or any other
literature for sale.
Every unmarried woman has said /:
I'D like To own that man for one
day, I'd teach him to behave" but
have you noticed that when they
marry, they don't seem to manage any
better than others.
A number of papers trot through
this column with the scissors and use
our paragraphs, palming them off upon
their un.uspecting readers as thinks
from their own tanks. This flatters US.