The Washington times., 1903-02-22


the great men Of Freakland laugh at
their meals. HIS Majesty. Megrim III.
King OF Woe. has sent his subject Merry
Andrew TO repair at once 20 the Kingdom
Of Freakland. there to make amends for
the failure of Muchslash 10 be as great
Jester as was expected.
Bearing in mind, however. the former
services OF Muchslasb, his majesty is
willing TO give him another chance, and
commands that If he succeeds in making
the guests at the Peter Bell Association
dinner laugh longer and louder than
Merry Andrew may do, all faultfnding
shall cease and Muchslash shall be kept
in his high office"
1T must be that the fog Of FreakIand,"
said Muchslash. has got into my brain,
for at testing I fail again and again
II opine, Father Muehslash," replied
Merry Andrew with wicked leer. that
your days at the court OF John o. Greats
are numbered"
Yes" answered Muchslash tartly.
''and the last number will be TOO high for
you to say it quickly"
Their controversy was interrupted by
John o. Grouts. Peace" cried he I'm
less DR.. Muchslash can make Us laugh
before the close Of this banquet all -ela-
tions between our respective countries
will be cut of by the dropping Of his
head into a wicker basket"
The unfortunate physician was plunged
into woe by this edict, and his misery
as ell che harder 60 Dor Bv,s,s-v Merry
Andrew continued 10 perform upon the
horizontal bar. winning unstinted APP
plause. While poor Muchslash covered
at his end OF the table buried in thought
and endeavoring without success 20 IND
suitable Joke TO present before the COM
pany, his happy rival turned now grave
and now a gay face upon the banqueters
as he revolved upon the bar. and con-
tiuued by his antics 10 amuse all present.
Muchslash was aroused from the pain
full revery Into which he had sunk by the
voice Of the Primrose Minister.
Unless His Excelleucy Muchslash can
give US a lest which viii make US laugh
in ten minutes he will no longer be am
bussador. and we shall give his case over
to our friend the admirable sexton OF
Marrowbone"
MuchsIash rose 70 his feet and vainly
cssayed TO call up from the sorrow In his
soul some merry Jest with which to save
his life with bitterness he remembered
how in the heyday Of his powers he had
wasted Iaughable tales on beggars and
mIIkuaids Great drops OF perspiratlon
stood upon his forehead as he recalled
the puns which he had breathed idly into
the air.
His Majesty John o. Greats listened 10
the feeble and pitiable attempts at wit
which were made by the unfortunate
Muchslash.
! slaves" said the King when Muchslash
! had finished a story which had once
compelled laughter from the most mat
ter-of fact persons in the Kingdom Of
Woe.
six minutes" cried the Holder of the
Watch in Ordinary.
Muchslash remarked that jokes. like
eggs. we're likely TO be overdone in six
a voliev of knives and forks was the
only sign by which he knew that this
sally had been heard
And this" said he. half aloud. is the
dream Of riches and Of restored youth
which the Wistful Witch promised
should come 10 Muchslash- Oh. that I
were again a humble tailor. for being
a diplomat Is simply TO be machine for
The invention Of jokes
lie leaned forward on the chair and
made his last jest. an ehcrt so dismal
mat groan passed through the assem-
bIage. and a bust OF Joe Miller which
STOOD on a bracket near the door fell TO
he floor and was dashed in thousand
pieces.
The time is up" cried the Holder OF
the Watch in Ordinary.
.'Your Majesty" inquired the Gentle
man of the Pig Sunfiower. the sexton
Of Narrowbone awaits your commands
What shall be done with the Anoassa-
dor from the Kingdom of Woe
ION with his head,' cried the Prim-
rose Minister Indignantly MIchSlash
turned to escape the approaching heads
man and saw for the first time the twin
sailors back Of his chair. Their faces
had never changed since they entered
the bandueting hall, for they had hearc
vuchslash's Jokes before and were IN
able TO smile 1T them, try as they would
You shall make us merry crle'
Nuchslash bitterly. You have stOol
there like solemn images, ahc you shai
suffer for IT,. ~,
TakinR mis- great shears from his girdl'
he cut the two sailors in two with ont
feu stroke apiece. Cruel! cruei!' cried
ali the courtiers. and Muchslash himsel
Looked with horror on the havoc he haC
wrought.
Butt am enough OF a tailor magician
10 put them together again" he gasped
and with trembling fingers ne sought U
make amends for his frightful deed.
He did indeed put the men together
again. But instead of the applaus'
which he had expected, he was greeted
with a roar OF rage. in which the revived
sailors themselves Joined. True IL Is th'
sailors were. whole again. but alas! thel
we're no longer twins. for duchslash ha'
made one a giant and the other dwarf
With a cry OF terror he ran hastily
from the palace, pursued by the angere'