davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09
Trouble with Their Names.

Did you ever have it brought to
your attention how unfortunate a man
is who is possessed of an unusual
sounding or freak name?" said the old
travelling man, according to the Kan
sas City Journal, as he nodded in the
direction of uniformed boy in the
lobby of a Kansas City hotel who was
yelling Justify: card for Mr.. House
and-Lot Card for Mr.. House-er-Lot!
Card for Mr.. Hozenlutz!" The boys
voice was lost in the crowd. but at
last accounts he was yelling the name
differently every time.
In a few minutes more" continued
the traveller, lit will be Card for Mr..
Horse-and-Oats Now, 1 happen to
know the man that boy is calling for.
He is Mr.. Houzenlou. That is an I'M
usual name, and it is all right until
someone who hasn't the remetest idea
how it is pronounced begins to mouth
it.
"A man who lives in a town and
rarely goes among strangers seldom
has any trouble with his name. If he
lives in a small town his patronymic
becomes known to his fellow townsmen
and they see nothing grotesque or
amusing about it. Even in a large
city a PERSONS social and business ac-
1NoA4ANcA4ACo ANehA II tAlC dllGf d
while and can pronounce it without
embarrassment. But just let a man
with name that is ridiculously sug-
gestive or difficult to pronounce go
among strangers continuously, as we
travelling men do, and he will learn
to hate his name and loathe the ne
cessity of pronOuncing it in public.
Il know man who is a splendid
fellow, but he is made miserable by
having to go through life under the
title of Thos. Kitty. Now just imag-
inc the possibilities of that name to
a bunch of jokers. Not long ago Kitty
and were seated in an Indiana hotel
and the boy yelled a card for Mr.. Kit
ty. When that big, strapping six
footer walked across to the desk and
responded to the call for Kitty the gang
in the office howled with glee.
THE man with the freak name also
invariably has an equally grotesque
signature. 1t is funny that a man who
has name that under the most fav-
orable circumstances Is enough to dis
locate the average jaw will scrawl 1t
across hotel register so that the clerk
will have to make a wild guess that
may, if he has good luck, get half of
the letters in their right places. Why
some men cultivate freak signatures
is one of the mysteries of life. l guess
it is for the same reason that if a man
has red hair and beard he is never
contented until he lets the hideous
locks grow all over his face.
THE uglier the beard of a man the
more pride he seems to take in it,
and that accounts for the fact that
you see ten red boards to one of brown
or black. Men with boards appear to
glory in their shame, and it never gets
out of their system" and the old trav-
eler interrupted his philosophical re-
Elections long enough to enter the
habitual protest to the porter that his
trunks were now in readiness in the
sample room.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09
bright BITS.

why do you say the dog is worth
$500? Have you got his pedigree?" mo;
but I've got a receipt for the 5000 1
gave for him. "-Chicago Evening Post.
Mrs. Newrich had been describing
her visit to Turkey. Friend-"Then, of
course, you saw the Dardanelles? 2"
Mrs. Newrich-"Why, no, we didn't.
They called, but we were out"-Cin-
cinnati Commercial
THE ostrich is a very stupid bird, -
said the naturalist. He may be stu
pid," said the man who is always COM
planning, but he has a stomach that
any man with a Thanksgiving dinner
ahead of him might envy. Washing
ton Star.
-Tess-"He proposed to me to-day,
and he was so impatient. He wanted
me to marry him right away. But
was not to be hurried" Jess-"So
you put him off, eh?" Tess-"Yes, in
deed. 1 told him he'd have to wait
until tomorrow. "-Philadelphia Press.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09
A LegnI Ballad.

From the New York Sun.
The Plaintiff was a homely Maid
OF forty years, or more,
A trolley car, it ran her down,
And she, of course, was sore.
The lawyer was a cunning chap,
Who liked contingent fees
He naturally advised the maid
To nurse her injuries.
The damages the Plaintiff claimed
Were modest as could be:
She asked for fifty thousand pounds
Because she hoped for three.
The experts were disint' rested.
So six they swore that she
Would die within a month or two:
Six swore the contraree.
The jurors, honest men, and true.
They thought and thought and
thought;
And then For Plaintiff fifty thou
sand pounds" the verdict brought.
The jorors, tender-hearted men,
Before they sought their bed.
Each one, he nobly went and asked
The Plaintiff him to wed.
Alas! Alack Alack-a-day!
Twas ever thus in lfel
They found the Plaintiff-Maid nc
more,
She was the lawyers wife!
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09
MEETING OF THE COTTON MILL
MEN

Southern cotton manufacturers did
not find much difficulty at their meet
ing at Charlotte yesterday in reaching
an agreement. 1t was thought there
would be such. a difference of opinion
as to the course that ought to be pur-
sued that the meeting would not &C
complish anything. 1t is known that
many of the mills have enough cotton
TO keep them running for several
months, and there was an impression
that they would not join in move
ment to curtail production but it
seems that the meeting was a very
harmonious one. There were about a
hundred manufacturers present and
the sentiment was in favor of a cur
tailment of the output. A committee
was appointed to confer with Northern
manufacturers and to arrange for a
meeting of manufacturers from all
parts of the country.
1t is important of course that what
ever action is taken shall be general.
so that the end aimed at may be the
more quickly accomplished. If fair
percentage of the mills should continue
to operate at their full capacity while
the others curtailed their output it
might take a long time to affect the
market for cotton goods to such an
extent as to bring about a rise in
prices of cotton goods, but If the
movement to curtail production should
be general, in month or two the mar
ket might respond to such an extent
that it would be possible to resume
operating the mills on full time at a
profit. 1t is assumed. of course. that
nothing will be done until the proposed
meeting of mill men from all sections
of the country is held.
None of the mills want to shut
down entirely for even a short time.
Such a policy as that would work
hardship to the operatives. many of
whom no doubt have little or nothing
on which to live beyond their weekly
earnings. The operatives could stand
a curtailment of the output for a time,
though even that policy would bring
hardship, and perhaps suffering, into
the homes of very considerable per-
centage of them.
The situation which confronts the
manufacturers is a very serious one.
They would be willing to continue to
operate their mills at a loss for rea-
sonable period at their full capacity if
there was a promise that the situation
would soon become better, but they
cannot afford to operate them at loss
very long. A curtailment of the out
put for a few weeks would probably
SO improve existing conditions as to
justify a return to the limit of pro-
duction.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09
RECESS APPOINTMENTS.

Contrary to the expectations of many,
! but in accordance with the advice of
Senator Lodge and other friends of
the administration, the President on
Monday sent to the Senate the names
of Gen. Wood and 1G6 other officers of
the army, together with the names of
about rs civil appointees, whose
nominations were not confirmed during
the extra session of Congress, all of
them being classed as recess appoint
ments. The fact that they were so
classed means that they will continue
| TO enjoy the honors and incomes of
the offices to which they have been
appointed until their nominations shall
have been acted upon by the Senate, or
until Congress adjourns. If they had
not been classed as recess appointments
the army officers would have dropped
back to the positions they occupied be-
fore their promotion, and the appointees
TO civil offices would have been out
Of office altogether, and If appointed
again during the session Of Congress,
could not have taken office unless con-
firmed by the Senate
But was there a recess, and If not
could the President constitutionally
make what are called recess appoint
ments? This question will doubtless
be brought forward when these nomi-
nations come up for confirmation.
As a matter of fact, the extra session
passed into the regular session-that is
Immediately on the announcement of
the adjournment of the extra session
the roll call of the regular session was
begun. 1t seems, however that the
President and his friends claim that
between the adjournment of the extra
session and the beginning of the regu-
lar session there was an infinitessimal
period of time, and that this small
period was, in fact, a recess, and gave
the President authority under the con-
stitution, to class the appointments as
recess appointments Gen. Wood, there
fore, remains a major general, waiting
for his nomination to be confirmed,
and DR.. Crum remains collector of the
port of Charleston, and will continue in
that position until the end of the pres
ate refuses to confirm his nomination.
If it confirms his nomination, he is of
course in for the term for which he
has been appointed.
And congressman are disappointed
because Of the Speakers refusal to ad-
Journ the extra session before the be-
ginning of the regular session. because
they WILL in all probability, lose the
mileage they would have drawn. AS
they had no opportunity to journey to
their homes and back, they cannot
claim mileage. The amount involved
is 100000. 1t wouldn't be surprising
If an effort were made by congress-
men to get this money by means of
a special bill, though if they do they
will subject themselves to a great deal
Of criticism. 1t is practically certain
that the President will not escape criti-
cism for his recess appointments, which,
at best, are based upon a technicality.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09
PERSONAL.

Miss Edna Hall, a talented woman
of Guthrie, Ok, and until recently a
resident of Richmond, Ind, has enter
ed the Quaker ministry and has ac-
copied a call to the church at Liberty,
in Woods county, her state. For some
time she has been under the tutelage of
Mrs. William M. Jenkins, wife of Ok
lahoma's Ex-Governor, and herself a
Quaker minister.
Numerous attempts have been made
of late to learn whether King Edward
is a protectionist or a free trader, and
some politicians would give a good
deal for a correct answer to the ques-
ton. Subtle efforts have been made
to draw his majesty, but he has
warily avoided giving the slightest
hint as to his opinion on the topic
which is now uppermost in Great
Britain.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meetings-Clinton Lodge No. 81, F..
& A. NJ.
Special Notices-W'anted, Lippman
Drug Co.. Dividend No. 80, Oglethorpe
Savings and Trust Co.; Dividend No
tive. United Hydraulic Cotton Press
Co; Notice to City Court Jurors; DIR.
f. H. Nichols Has Returned to the
City; Ship Notice, c. C. Martin, Agent.
Business Notices-Coffee, at Mum
sters.
Daily Hints for Christmas Shopping
b. H. Levy & Bro.
This is the Last Week-Sternberg &
Co.
Boxed Handerchiefs-At Foye &
Eckstein's.
A Clothing Event Worthy of Your At
tention-The Metropolitan Co.
Stop sufering-Dr. ]. T. Gault.
The Best Route-Seaboard Air Line
Railway.
That Child of Yours Needs a Wheel
It. A. Bryson.
Candy So Delicious as Ours-Jerry
George.
The incest Gift-Mutual Gas Light
Co.
spalding's Sale Savannah Agency
Lattimore's.
Buckwheat Cakes-Royal Baking
Powder.
Proposals Wanted-For Constructing
Roads, Catch Basins, Etc, at Fort
De Soto, Fla.
Pubhcations-The Delineator for jan
uary.
Send Us Your Calendars Early-E.
& ". Laundry.
Kosher Chicken Fat-The Delmonico
Co.
Hot Water Observation-Disclosures Drug
Store.
1t Makes a Pleasant Christmas
Henry Solomon & Son.
Sweetest of All-Conida's Candy
Savannah Theater-"The Cavalier"
Wednesday Matinee and Night;
Twelfth Night" Thursday Night.
Appropriate Christmas Presents
Daniel Hogan.
Legal Notices-In the Matter of judi
son L. Lightsy of Chatham, Bankrupt.
Auction Sales Furniture, by 1. d.
LaRoche, Auctioneer.
Foods-Postum Food Coffee.
Medical-Duffy's Pure Malt Whisky;
Vinol; DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup Her
picide; Pyramid Pile Cure; Stuarts
Dyspepsia Tablets; Medical Lake Salts.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Help
Wanter. Employment Wanted, For
Rent, For Sale, Lost, Personal. Mis-
cellaneous.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09
CURRENT COMMENT.

The New York World (Dem.) says:
1t is bad enough for members of Con-
dress to draw 20 cents a mile from
the government for their travelling ex-
penses when the actual cost practical
ly never reaches half that figure and
is frequently as low as one-Quarter.
To add a 'miliage' charge home and
back assumed to be earned in the
time between II $3.50 a. m. and IL III.
to-day-between the presumable clos
ing of the extra session and the certain
opening of the regular one-would be
adding graft to mere extravaganza.
Nor would it be wholly satisfactory if
the spoilation should fail only by a
quarrel between the Senate and the
House."
The Springfield (Mass.) Republican
(Ind) says: "A canvass of all the Dem
ocratic county newspaper editors of
Indiana results in an expression of
presidential preferences in this order:
Judge Parker of New York, first; Sen
ator German, second; Richard Olney,
third; w. ]. Bryan, fourth; William
r. Hearst, fifth; Grover Cleveland,
sixth; Carter Harrison, seventh;
George Gray of Delaware, eighth;
John w. Bookwalter of Ohio, ninth.
AAO QNNAlllc VI OdNAQ d. L1llt III plSollbC
has been enormous for only one editor
even mentioned him. The fact that
Messrs. Parker German and Olney
head the list in Indiana confirms the
impression that they are being more
seriously considered than any other
Democrats throughout the country"
The New York Press (Rep.) says:
Mr.. Carnegie might stand out or the
street corner and get relief by giving
his money away a million at a time;
or he might reimburse purchasers of
shipbuilding trust and steel trust COM
mon stocks, make good all losses suf-
fered at the race track or in policy
swindling and maintain at his own ex-
pense all the public charities. II he
undertook TO do some such things as
those it would not be long until he
could throw off his burden. But II his
ambition were to be attained by such
simple and easy devices 1t would not
be worth striving for. Mr.. Carnegie
wants 10 make II more difficult to get
rid OF his riches than Il was 10 amass
them. That Is WHY he selected the
scheme OF giving away libraries-on
terms whereunder the recipients must
eventually pay out many times more
money than the gifts are WORTH"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09

On his eighty-second birthday, which
occurred in the early part of the pres
ent year, Mr.. A. A. Hewlett of SYRIA
cuse, n. Y, gave a dinner party at
which lab widows were his guests. Mr..
Hewlett will have another birthday
party in some few weeks, but he de-
clares there will be no widows there.
The reason is that ever since he enter
tanned the widows he has been receiv-
ing letters from women in all quar-
ters of the globe, with the exception of
China, proposing marriage to him. He
says he has received literally hundreds
of letters on the subject, and gives the
Chinese women credit for being the
most modest in the world. But maybe
it is because they do not know the Ian
guage. AT his next dinner party Mr..
Hewlett will have young men as
his guests. He will not invite old
men, because he says they are too
pokey," besides which he is not in their
class.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09
WAS THERE A LEAKf

In commenting upon the govern
ment's cotton crop report the Philadel-
| phia Ledger says: THAT the informa-
ton of the government crop estimate
should leak out prematurely, to the
advantage of some spectators and the
loss of others, is disreputable, but not
surprising. Such information can be
made very valuable, and bureau clerks
are not beyond temptation" The New
York Chronicle accepts the view that
there was leak" but says it doesn't
think the heads of the department had
anything to do with it, and the New
York Journal of Commerce published
rather long article giving it's reasons
for thinking there was leak"
This is not the first time the De-
partment of Agriculture has been ac-
cused in connection with it's cotton crop
report. On former occasions the Sec
rotary of Agriculture took the trouble
to point out the impossibility of
any information respecting the nature
of the report getting into the possess
sion of anybody outside of the depart
for the reason that nobody inside of
the department knows, until about the
hour of publication, what the report
will be, and since the accusation in
respect to the last report appeared
in the public prints the Secretary has
| made a similar explanation.
If it be true, as the Secretary says,
| that the method of m lxinpr nm tho NO
port is such that no one person has
sufficient data to determine what the
report will be until just before the hour
| of publication, it is difficult to see how
information as to what the report will
be can get into the possession of spec
ulators hours before the report is
made public. The newspapers we have
seen in which it is charged there was
leak in the department do not Of
| fer facts for the charge they make. They
| indulge in speculations fully as wild
as some of the actions of spectators
were after the report was made pub
| lie. Until there is a substantial foun-
dation for the charge it is probable
that the public will continue to have
|
| port.
II it were true that there was a
leak" there is no reason why there
shouldn't be crooked work in connec-
ton with the report-that is, why a
report shouldn't be made up to suit
big spectators. AS far as we are able
to judge from all the circumstances
we see no reason to think there was a
leak" nor do we think there was
crooked work in connection with the
report. 1t is true, of course, that the
agents upon whom the government re-
lies for information may be careless or
lacking in judgment or in some other
respects unfit for their duties, but there
isn't any known reason for doubling
that when the information reaches the
Department of Agriculture it is hon
estly handled, and that the result it
shows doesn't get to the public until
1t is officially given out on the day of
| publication
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09

About year ago the newspapers re-
corded that a banquet of the Society
of American Authors in New York had
been disturbed by the appearance
thereat of a man who wanted to in
terest Andrew Carnegie in an inven-
ton which he called a thought re-
corder." The intruder, who turned out
to be Rev. w. A. Crawford Frost of
Baltimore, was eventually incarcerated
in an asylum for the insane where he
was detained a month. During that
time and later Mr.. Frost busted him
self with his invention, a patent for
which has just been issued by the
government patent office. 1t appears
that the apparatus is an attachment
for typewriters that will increase the
speed OF the machines as much as 40
per cent.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09
An AII-Star Team.

The football season is now a thing
of the past, says the Milwaukee Sem
tinel, and in accordance with the time
honored custom we beg to suggest the
following talent for an all-star foot
ball team:
Center rush, Andrew Carnegie. His
long experience in the iron and steel
business has made him unyielding, and
owing to the vast number of books he
has given away he looks mighty good
on paper.
Right guard, Russell Sage. This gen.
tleman guards everything that comes
within his grasp in such a consistent,
strenuous manner that is the only logi-
cal candidate.
Left guard, Het. Green. Second only
to Russell on the guarding PROPOSE
ton.
Right tackle, John D. Rockefeller.
who has tackled everything in the coun-
try with marked success.
Left tackle, J. Pierpont Morgan. Any
thing that gets past John D. is pie
for him.
Right end, Charles NJ. Schwab. He
has clearly proven, although he start
ed out in life with a beggarly salary
of $1,0O0,O00 per year, that man is
certain to come to the right end
Left end, William Jennings Bryan.
Nobody will deny Mr.. Bryan this hon.
or, which he earned in two hard presi-
Dental campaigns.
Quarterback Nelson A. Miles. He is
cool, brainy general, and also covers
good deal of ground at times, as,
for instance, on the occasion of his re-
cent ride. He is strong on interfer-
ence.
Right halfback Barney Old6e1d Ou,-
ing to his great speed, he stands alone
as a claimant for this position.
Left halfback, Lou Dillon.
Fullback, Col. Henry Watterson
Noted for the fierceness with which
he bucks the color line and the smart
set, and splendid on the offensive.
Mascot, Harry Lehr.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-12-09
HERBERT SPENCER.

Herbert Spencer was the last of the
really great men of the Victorian era.
His contemporaries in art, science and
smanship-Millais, Ruskin, OAR
win, Huxley, Disreali, Gladstone,
Salisbury and others-preceded him
to the tomb by tens or units
of years. Spencer had just right
to distinction as being one of
the greatest in that great company
of thinkers and doors. He probably as
much as any other one man contrib
uted to the making of the reign of Vic
toria luminous in the history of Eng
land.
Spencer's bent Of mind towards phil
osophy and science was early mani
tested. When yet a mere child he was
naturalist, and studied and wrote
about bugs and birds and fishes. The
call of nature to him was irresistible
in his tender years; and as he matured
he delved deeper and deeper into the
mysteries of nature, which he at
tempted to elucidate by a systematic
treatise on philosophy in harmony
with evolution and the results of mod
ern science. While accepting many of
the premises of Darwin and Huxley,
Spencer held that religion and science
were not incompatible. Along with the
definite consciousness of things known
in relation to one another, he argued,
there is implied an indefinite conscious
ness of an absolute existence, in the
Of Wh nc a
science and religion find their recon-
Citation. In his philosophical reason
ings Mr.. Spencer early asserted the i'm
portance of determining what is the
ultimate test of truth This, accord
ing to him, is the mental inconceivabil-
ity of the negation of the proposition
by the individual thinker. Thus, that
which the individual cannot conceive
TO be otherwise after exhaustive con-
temptation from all points of view must
be the truth. The validity of this
test, according to him, is supported by
two considerations; first, no other test
is obtainable; second, mental incon-
ceivability is the result of certain uni
formities in our experience which are
due to uniformities in nature. Mr.
| Spencer applied these tests in his writ
ings to his conclusions, and through
them eventually determined upon his
| theory of evolution, as follows: "Evo-
luton is an indignation of matter and
concomitant dissipation of motion;
! during which the matter passes from
an indefinite incoherent homogeniety to
a definite coherent heterogeniety; and
during which the retained motion I'M
dergoes a parallel Transformation"
This law Of evolution he held. applied
to all forms of phenomena, without ex-
| ception.
Herbert Spencer was a voluminous
writer, and had the satisfaction of see
! ing years ago his books and essays
translated into practically all of the
modern languages and adopted as au-
thoritative by the leading colleges and
universities. The impress of his i'm
dividuality is firmly fixed in the an
nails Of his country, and the results of
his labors will be quoted during ages
| to come.