davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
JOKE ON SWEET CHARITY.
And the colored Porter, He Thorough
Iy Enjoyed 1t.

And the colored Porter, He Thorough
Iy Enjoyed 1t.
The other day coloTed porter froni
one of the hotels was sent to buy some
tin cups. After making the purchase
he started back to the hotel and met
one Of the hostlery's best patrons
commercial travele-and the latter
asked the negro to carry his sample
case to Washington street store.
A few minutes later the negro. sam
pie case, and tin cups, were in front
Of the store. The travelling man was
in the store. While waiting for him.
the negro sat down on the sample
case, and in less than jiffy fell asleep
One of the tin cups was in his hand.
and it fell forward, as does the cup
held by blind man.
Perhaps you won't believe it. but
that negro collected 43 cents while he
slumbered. Passersby thought him a
blind mendicant. And maybe that por-
ter didn't enjoy the Joke! He did
deed he did.-Indianapol News
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
THE JOKE OF a KING.
Historic Hoax Perpetrated by Gusta

Historic Hoax Perpetrated by Gusta-
vus I'll. Of Sweden.
King Gustavus Ill Of Sweden had
been frequently invited to the little
court Of Schwerin. In 1888 he paid a
visit to Germany and as soon as the
Duchess Of Mecklenburg heard Of his
approach she prepared fetes in his
honor. But Gustavus, who disdained
the petty courts Of the small rulers,
sent two of his Attendants page
named Peyron, and Desvouges, valet
who had formerly been an actor-to be
entertained by the duchess. The two
-personated the king and his minister,
Baron Spare, and sustained the char
acters throughout. They accepted as
their due all the homage meant for
their master, danced with the Mecklen-
burg ladies' who were presented to
them, and Peyron went SO far as to
ask one Of the ladies for her portrait.
Meantime Gustavus was enjoying him
self elseWh ere in secret. %
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Overlooked a Detail.

A Long Island farmer came to
Brooklyn with his wife to do some
shopping the other day. On his way
back the thought came to him that he
had forgotten something. He took
out his notebook and went over each
item, checking it of, and saw that he
had made all the purchases he intend
ed. AS he drove on he could not put
aside the feeling that there was some
thing missing. He again took out his
notebook and rechecked every item,
but still found no mistake. He did
this several times, but could not rid
himself Of the idea that he must have
forgotten something When he
reached home and drove up to the
house his daughter came out to meet
him, and, with a look Of surprise,
asked: why, papa, where is moth
er?"-Mail and Express.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Mhat One Man Said.

At the City Federation meeting In
the Waldorf there were many amusing
incidents. Husbands Of the broad
minded women tarried in the ante
room waiting for their spouses to go
home. One Of these patient escorts
was Leroy Sunderland Smith. He
gazed through the glass doors once,
sighed and returned to his chair. Men
would come, inquire for their wives.
and then retreat to the cafe below. One
man heard few minutes Of certain
paper He said: IF these women's
clubs did not struggle with the prob
lem of how to raise other women's
children they would have no excuse
for being He flung out the last
words sayagely and then disappeared
to the place where highballs are con.
cocted-New York Press.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Muscular Christianity.

Prof. Bryce, in his biographical
study OF Bishop Fraser, of Manches-
ter, tells of a clergyman of Fraser's
diocese who had knocked a man down
who had insulted him. The bishop
wrote him a letter Of reproof, point
ing out that exposed as the Church OF
England was to much criticism on all
hands, her ministers ought to be very
careful Of their demeanor The Of
fender replied by saying: Il must re-
gretfully admit that, being grossly
insulted, and forgetting in the heat of
the moment the critical position Of
the Church Of England,l,I did knock
the man down, ETC." Fraser was de-
lighted with the turning Of the tables
on himself, and afterward invited the
clergyman to visit him.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
STATISTICS OF NIGHT HERoNs
They Are Sought. by the Smithsonian
institution.

They Are Sought. by the Smithsonian
institution.
Eight hundred night herons are wan
dering free about the United States,
each wearing on one leg an aluminium
band inscribed Smithsonian Institu-
ton" and a number. II any person
shoots one Of these birds he should
write to Paul Bartsch, biologist of the
Smithsonian, telling where it was and
how large was the bird. The night
heron is one of the most beautiful
Of the aquatic birds Of America, but
scientists know less about it than they
are satisfied with. Last year Mr..
Bartsch discovered several breeding
places Of these birds on the Potomac
in the District Of Colum bta. Recently
he visited the place with several as
sistants in the night and the 800
aluminium bands were fastened to the
legs of as many young herons. Science
is anxious to know now long the night
heron lives, where 1t spends the win
ters and how much of the country 1t
covers in its wanderings. 1t is be-
lieved that by the time a few OF the
numbered aluminium bands have been
reported some Of these facts will have
been established to the satisfaction OF
the ornithoogists. - Cleveland co.
Plain Dealer
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
The Butcher and His Hat.

aI always thought it paid to be po-
lite until got into this business re-
marked a prosperous retail butcher,
"but find that it costs me about $25
a year. My trade is with nice people,
and when fashionable women como
into the shop have to tip my hat to
them. A butchers fingers are always
more or less greasy from handling the
meat. and in about month new hat
Is no longer fit to wear Grease is
about the only thing that won't come
out of derby, and will be the hat
ter's best customer until the weather
grows warm and will be able to go
bareheaded.''
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
ROYALTY At THE RECEPTION
Wearisome Duties imposed on Those
in High Position

w So'' ~NS'SS sbiPOOCh VII bhS0S
in High Position.
How royalty and their suites ever
manage to survive those weary hours
of standing is always mystery to me,
says "The Countess" in the London
Outlook. ''You get used to it in
time" say the maids Of honor, but ap-
parently not till they have been car
ried out two or three times in faint
do the gentlemen-at-arms tightly but
toned up in uniforms and smothered in
helmets get used to the ordeal.
It is within the memory Of many
how in Dublin a certain distinguished
viceroy in the middle Of a drawing
room gave the order to close the
doors, and having cleared the room the
entire viceregal party sat down on
the floor in various stages Of collapse,
and often wonder how 1t is that our
own king and queen are not similarly
overcome on these occasions. Royal
ty is the best paid profession, but as
suredly, it must be also the most
wearing.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
THE OUTLOOK FOR AUTHORS
Really Good Writers Need NOT Fear
Discrimination


The rush of the crowd to read a
book which may have no literary merit
or vitality, either of material OF OF
presentation, simply because 1t ID
talked about, is never wholesome, and
If the crowd has grown more critical
and clear-minded In It's judgments,
and has ceased to move upon sudden
Impulses and learned to decide for
itself, the loss will. fall, not on writer's
Of real merit, but on a few whose re-
wards were generally beyond their
deserts. The average of literary work
in this country in many departments
is high. If great books are not pro-
duced in large numbers, good books
are produced in very considerable
numbers, and in soundness Of knowl-
edge, in good taste and literary work
manship, a. great advance is evident
over the work of an earlier generation.
It is a period of quiet progress, a time
Of preparation rather than time OF
accomplishment
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
The Artists Rexenoe.

A Chinese story tells how a very
stingy man took paltry sum OF
money to an artist. who always ex-
acted payment in advance, and asked
him to paint his portrait. The artist
at once complied with the request, but
when the portrait was finished moth
ing was visible save the back of the
sitter's head. what does this mean?"
cried the sitter Indignantly. well"
replied the artist, 81 thought a man
who paid so little as you did wouldn't
care to show his face
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
An Enterprisinu Woman.

Miss Jessie McCubben Of Alamo,
Oregon, is the owner of valuable
mining claim in the Granite district,
which she jumped precisely as the
year 1903 came in. Learning that the
claim would be vacant the LIST day of
January, she drove through blind
ing snowstorm on the night of Dec. 81,
the mercury IA degrees below zero,
and, waiting the advent of the new
year, staked her claim Another pros
pector had done likewise earlier in
the evening, but Miss McCubben was
legally In the right, and the court sus-
tanned her. She is Portland girl,
10 years old.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
THE RAINFALL IN ENGLAND.
Cyclonic Disturbances Had Little Ma
teriaI Effect.

cyclonic Disturbances Had Little Ma
teriaI Effect.
Fortunately for the south of Eng
land the cyclonic disturbances, which
this year have been more than usually
numerous, have kept fairly regularly
to their normal track, says the Lon
don Chronicle. This course has TAX
en- them across Ireland and Scotland,
and as a result the rainfall account
In these two countries is now much
ahead of the average. Scotland north
has had an excess Of nearly ten inches
the surplusage in the west and east
being nine and five inches. respective
ly. Ireland has beaten the average by
between five and six inches. The
south Of England has had but trtde
more than its usual allowance; the
eastern counties, on the other hand,
being nearly an inch short.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Advancement of Women

At a meeting Of the English Wom-
ems Liberal association a letter was
read in which the daughter Of George
Meredith. the novelist, said: my
father, George Meredith, wishes me to
say that it heartens him to see women
banded together in union. What ma
ture originally decreed men are but
beginning to see-that they are fitted
for most OF the avenues open to en-
ergy, and by their entering upon ac-
tive life they will no longer be open
to the accusation men so frequently
bring against them of their being mar
row and craven. Much more he could
say, but he has short time at his COM
mand."
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
CLEANLINESS AS A VICE.
Young Matron Criticises Methods OF
Her Motherin-LaW.

f7er NORTHUMBERLAND.
Cleanliness is next to godIiness. !
know" said the young matron whose
moth er-in-law lives with her, "but
there is such a thing as carrying it
too far, think. Now, my husbands
mother Is fearfully and wonderfully
neat. In fact, at times feel that to
live in pigpen would be relief.
From morning till night there is moth
ing but clean, clean, clean. Bits OF
carpet are laid in the places most
likely to trip you up These are in
tended to keep the floor underneath
free from stain and then the carpets
are taken up and the floor underneath
scrubbed as carefully as if it had not
been protected all the time. You can
not Imagine just how trying it is. But
the other day she reached the limit.
She came in, took off her shoes, care
fully washed them and set them out
to dry! Think of it,! It's a wonder she
did not wash her hat
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
He Was Kept Busy.

That was a curious little confession
made to an interviewer the other day
by Sergeant Barry, for twenty
seven years keeper Of the stage door
at the Lyceum. In reply to remark
about his knowledge Of plays and play
ers. Sergeant Barry remarked: 4
have never seen play in all my life.
NV place is at the stage door have
never any time to see what is going
on on the stage.s-London Tit-Bits-
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
A Paper MAY criticise.

A trial jury in England gave the
manager Of q flfth-rate show YER
dict Of $3.50 against a newspaper
which published an adverse criticism.
The Appeal Court reversed this. and
held that the jury had no right to sub
stitute it's own opinion of the merits
of the play for the critics opinion.
The court said it was of the highest
Importance to the public that the crit
ic should not be exposed to the risk
of having a jury pass upon his taste,
and held that the trial Judge misdi-
rected the jury.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Reminder of Old Times.

A rich man who has Joined the null
titude in New York since his quick
fortune came to him was entertaining
friends at dinner the other night. The
service was magnificent and so was
the dinner. The wife, gorgeously clad,
reigned over the table During lull
in conversation the rich man watched
q servant who was dexterously remov-
ing crumbs from the table. Then he
looked down the glittering table at
his jeweled wife and remarked !:
Sadie, remember when you used to
shake the tablecloth out of the back
door to the hens?"
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
In the wnonn Place.

A we'll known and popular physi-
clan, whose belief in the future &C
cords with that Of the late Col. lnger-
soil, had occasion recently to perform
a surgical operation upon man not
select in his language. After etheriz-
ing his patient the operation was sue
cessfully performed. When the effect
of the ether had passed off, the sub
ject, looking wildly around the room
exclaimed: where an II" The doc
tor replied, "Oh! you are all right.
But" said the man, 81 may be all
right, but where am II" The doctor
answered jocularly I'm Heaven. The
patient responded: IF that's so, I'd
like to know what in - you are
doing here"
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Banks Burglar Trap Didn't Work.

Banks Burglar Trap Didn't Work.
In it's account Of the recent bank:
burglary at Allen, the Emporia (Kan.)'
Gazette explains that the trap set by
the bank for robbers did not work.
The trap in question is unique enough,
to be interesting. Above the vault, =
says the Gazette, was thin ceiling
and about ton Of sand above it.
This was there in case cracksmen
should attempt to blow open the SAFE.
when the ceiling would burst at the
explosion and the sand fill the vault,
making it impossible to get at the
SAFE However, the ceiling did not
burst and the sand remains undis-
turbed.-Kansas City (Mo.) Journal.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
No RoxaI Road.

st. Clair McKelway believes that
the Journalism of the future will be a
profession and that men will be espe-
cially educated for it. They are and
always have been. Did that important
and valuable member OF the profess
sion never hear of "the hard school Of
journalism" There is no other, and
never will be. worth pinch of snuff,
in our humble estimation. The uni
versity of experience is the one which
gives the real degrees in journalism.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Chorus Girls of Wealth.

Among the twenty girls who took.
part in an amateur comic opera per-
Torrance in Philadelphia the other
evening were fifteen whose fathers
are millionaires. 1t is said that the
girls in question represented some
$4o,o0o,000. The affair was the big
gest event among the Hebrews Of
Philadelphia for twenty years. A
trainload Of wealthy New Workers
went over specially to take part in or
witness the performance, which was
given under the auspices of the Mer-
camille club.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Motor Cars in Switzerland.

Should the experiments in progress
in the neighborhood of Berne prove as
successful as is anticipated travellers
to Switzerland in the summer of this
year will be able to cross the noun
tains by motor car instead Of the
usual post diligence The actual trials
will be made in the spring, and the
result, if successful. will be not only
ent journeys in half the time, but to
open the mountain roads, which are at
present closed to them on account OF
the horses
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Governor Saves Bows Life.

1t is fortunate for one Georgia youth,
that Gov. Garvin of Rhole Island is a.
physician and surgeon OF standing.
The governor and number Of north
ern friends were at Andersonvflle to-
attend the dedication OF monument
in memory of Rhode Island soldiers
who died tn Andersonville prison.
While the exercises we're in progress:
a carriage team took fright, ran away
and upset the vehicle. Edwin Gala
way, one of the occupants, had his
leg broken, the Jagged bone severing
an artery. Gov Garvin, on hearing Of
the boys plight. hurried to his help,
tied the severed artery and cut the
broken bone, just in time to save the
sufferer from bleeding to death.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Stamping out Use Of Opium.

When the Japanese took possession
of Formosa they found there a popu-
lation more or less addicted to the
use of opium. 1t was decided to abol-
ish the practice by degrees. Only
those who have suffered from its ef-
fects to the extent that it occasions
intense pain to deprive them of their
pipe are now permitted, by special
warrant which they are obliged TO
procure, to continue the use thereof.
To newly commence opium smoking
is strictly forbidden, or even continue
it unless it can be shown that Austen
ton is impossible. A government
monopoly of the article was expressly
established to facilitate the final ex-
tinction of the habit Of using it.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Was Always RUNNING.

The Duke of Argyll tells this story
of Winston Churchill which shows
that the talent for talk developed
young in the author and member Of
parliament. Some years ago he visit
ed Harrow, and noticing boy run
ming around the cricket field all by
himself asked what he was doing it
for That's Lord Randolph Church
$ill's son, and whenever he talks too
much we make him run three times
round the cricket field"
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
ReckIessness Of the Motorlst.

That the motorist can not help
reckless driving was maintained by
French savant in a recent meeting
of scientists in Paris. The furore
steals on them. In setting out they
intend to go at a moderate pace, but
as they warm to the work they must
rush on faster and faster The flying
landscape through which they tear
forward produces the kind of giddi-
ness which Arabs say takes hold OF
them in the fantasia. In this state
motorists would run down those
nearest and dearest to them as un
hesitatingly as though they were SC
many animals
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Is Richest Woman in World.

Mrs. Mary Louise B. Owen Of New
York has become the richest woman in
the world through decision of the
California courts awarding her the
title to 10000 acres of land in Mexico
valued at $4,000 900. Her husband,
Col. A. K. Owen, secured a grant of
the land from the Mexican government
in 1872. This grant has recently been
affirmed by the Mexican courts, while
dispute between Mrs. Owen and
rival claimants in this country has
just been settled by the California
supreme court in Mrs. Owens favor.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
The Lona-Sufferino Editor.

A Queensland contemporary re-
Gently published the following: "Our
foreman printer recently measured
up the space occupied by obituary
notices in the Herald during the last
couple Of months or so, and found it
made three and three-quarters yards.
This is so much dead loss to the pa
per, and if fatal epidemic struck
the town ruin would stare us In the
face. We have, therefore, decided to
future to charge for such notices. So,
when people feel like dying, we hope
they will give directions to their next
of kin in respect Of paying for the
same
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
WASTE OF PUBLIC MONEY.
Example Of the Incompetence Of Brit
ish Officials.

Example Of the Incompetence Of Brit
ish Officials.
A somewhat curious waste OF public
money has just been brought to light
by the report of the British Committee
Of Public Accounts Recently the war
department built store for the am
munition of the navy at Gibraltar,
costing $4,000, to be charged to navy
votes. The store was found too damp
to keepa ammunition in; 50 It was
converted into cold meat storehouse
for both army and navy This was
done at the expense Of e47.00O, in
Guiding the cost Of freezing machin-
cry, ETC.. making total expense OK
989, 1000, of which the army pays only
923,OO0, although each department re-
ceives the same accommodation as the
other.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
superfiuous Boys.

A British parliamentary paper
shows that, as usual, nearly 10000
more boys than girls were born in
the British isles last year. Whence,
then, the "superfuous woman?" The
boys die, during the first weeks and
months of life. at a far greater rate
than the supposed weaker vessels. !"
In few months they have sunk to an
equality and soon woman takes the
lead, numerically, and Keeps it, nu-
merically. The reason is not uncon-
nected with the larger size Of the
baby boys head, for which he either
pays the penalty very early or reaps
the reward-if woman Will forgive
the hint-later.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Etiquette Of the Feud.

There's just one thing, sah," OBJ
serbed Col. Gore Of Kentucky, in
which we are away behind Turkey"
Whats that?" Col Bullet asked,
quickly. We'll, sab, after general
KILN the porte always sends a polite
note of apology to the survivors Of
the massacre. If we could only end
our feuds in that way, sab" But
we can't, sab" exclaimed Col. Bullet,
excitedly, "for the simple reason, sab.
that when one of our feuds ends no
body's left, sab, to apologize to!"
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
Painting the Dome Of the Capitol.

The dome of the capitol at Wash
ington is being painted. Every five
years its coat is renewed and $4,000
gallons of white lead are used in the
process. The work Is being done by
eighteen men, under the direction Of
''Billy" Lewis and CAP Ports The
latter has been employed for such
work about the capitol for thirty-nine
years. Ports is the only man who
ever climbed to the top of the Statue
of Liberty surrounding the dome. He
did this on Labor day, 1894, and fas-
tened garland of electric light bulbs
around the neck of her majesty.
The daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Beltrami Co., Minn.) 1903-1904, 1903-10-03
A Good Place TO stop.

He really ought not to have gone
into the Latin class that day. He was
called up first, and read as far as he
had prepared. Then he skirmished on
a little farther. This is the way it
went: II, Ulysses, saw her (Dido's)
heavenly form advancing like a god
dess in the sunlight I sprang to-
ward her, and she welcomed me. Her
hair fell down upon her shoulders like
the sunbeams on Olympus. Her eyes
shone like two jewels of the sea. IL
threw my arms-my arms-about--
about her-her ck-neck-and-and
that's as far as l got, professor. >
Philadelphia Ledger.