New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-11-06


Miss sophronia Jennie Noodle
Studied hygieniC twaddle
That she couldn't live food
6nd 6 she ba apeg g st sGH eGnoS
Where the hosts angelic wander,
And such things she would brood
No thing not by art digested
Miss Sophronia molested
And she got herself infested
With the cerealitis fad
Till the little wit created
In her skull evaporated,
And her common sense was slated
To so slumping to the bad
She ate hay and wheat and barley
She chewed soup-nuts small and gnarly,
With steak she ne'er would parley.
Nor. with solid stuff like that;
But she stuck with grim persistence
And she fought with firm resistance
All temptation TO get fat.
So in course Of time she grew to
BE part of what she'd chew to
At Just she'd eat her dinner
OF Dust E Cor Corn chat to WAS t TiinnerO
She aseptieised the more!
Well this tale must have an ending
And it is no use pretending
Is a triumph, for it amt:
Wish Mif her hygien aen tWadd di9oe
Through eternity will toddle
AS a predigested saint.
baltimore News.
Edgar Palmer jr.. and John Murphy of New
Haven. Vt. recently killed a fox i'm a peculiar man
ner. While working farm their attention was
attracted by the cows making a disturbance in the
pasture around stone pile. on investigation they
found that the COWS had cornered a fox in a pile
of stones and were endeavorng TO get him
They rushed TO the scene and with stones and
rocks succeeded in killing the fox
Their Daily Pursuit.-Cty Editor-See here. You
2y h Walk S q eeng was ATTENDED afiS BY % S
commuters exclusively. wasn't it?
keporter-Yes. to protest against the poor train
City Editor-Then walk in life" doesn't go. All
commuters have to philadelphia Press
The editor has a great advantage over the ordi-
nary citizen. for he say the last word and at
a safe distance. Judge" G.. NJ. Perkins. Editor of
the negro paper THE Oklahoma Guide" publishes
the following editorial in a recent issue of his in
teresting sheet: Yesterday we went to the office
of the Elk Hotel at Guthrie about 10 a. m and
asked TO be allowed to speak to the cook. We were
told by the man that attending the office that
we could by going Out the front door 20 down the
alley and come in the back door. This man must
have been dragged up in the West on "a ranch for
man raised North or South would ask a gentle
man TO go in that dirty alley. But If the unmanly
clerk had looked in face he would have seen
an expression that said will see you dead
damned and delivered" Judge" Perkins labels
the editorial "The Cheek of a Brass Monkey"
Poetry VS.. Prose.-"Oh, for the wings Of 8 dovap
what you like rejoned the preseic naro O a
as for me. give me the breast of chicken Chi
cago News
The dog policeman is the newest official on the
force Of Client, Belgium. The particular duty OF
the police doggie viii be an emergency man .,
The officers stationed at various Intervals IN
the street the dogs being held in leash at points
between two beats" When the emergency
man is needed the policeman blows a trurnpet
At the sound the animals are loosed and rush 10
report for duty. They trained to spring into
the water follow track or join man hunt along
the docks
What difference there is between a slang word
Ike fierce and slang word like -four fiiisher
Four-fusher'' Is a tense, compact metaphor
canned 'Four-fusher'' deserves to be ensbripsJ
-lChicago Tribune
Wise words. these betraying profound thought
and discriminating judgment And while the val
ued Tribune" is separating the slang sheep from
the slang goats, may we ask its opinion OF that
virile American metaphor, to butt in"?-(Detroit
Free Press