The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-11-22

Bone Discovers That Solomon Was All
Monopoized Who
Special Foreign Service.

Special Foreign Service.
| i ONDON, Nov. 21.-Solomon in his
L. wisdom said: "None of you by
taking thought can add one cubit to his
| stature"-which was doubtless true in
! Solomon's day, but cannot be consid-
cred applicable to this year OF grace
| in which a large number of once
short English folk are strutting about
| with a stature artificially increased at
| so much per cubit This doesn't mean
| high heels and deceptive garments;
| it means an actual permanent stretch
| ing of the body, for the sake of cutting
| a better figure, or for the sake of get
| ting into the army.
Figures quoted recently in the house
| of lords by the Earl of Meath proved
conclusiveiy that the British race is
| losing stature, and a commission was
| forthwith appointed to inquire into
| this physical degeneracy, which mostly
affects the working class, the chief
source of recruits for King Edwards
army That is what they always do in
the house of lords. If some dignified
peer should protest against the absence
of sunshine in this month of Novem-
Der a commission would be appointed
at once to inquire into the matter.
While no more will come of the COM
mission to inquire into the decrease Of
the British Workman's inches than Of
commission to inquire into peculiar be-
havior on the part OF the sun, Weather
citizens of abbreviated stature have
taken the matter into their own hands,
and as a result the British aristocracy
is in the aggregate good many feet
taller than it was.
The trick came into vogue first
among the men, about the time the
Boer war broke out. To have any
standing in society man had to get
into the army somehow. But to be an
officer in the British army man has
to attain the height of feet S1a inches.
The situation was a desperate one for
many drawing room favorite, until
someone whispered news Of scientist
named Atkinson who had discovered
how to lengthen people. Since then,
Prof Atkinson has had his hands full,
and has probably become r1cn.% HE
holds forth in fashionable Park Lane,
and I am told that his charges run
to about 500 per inch-in other words,
that clients pay as rule $500 for
course of treatment which adds on an
average, five inches to their height.
Stretch for the Army.
Candidates Tor the BrltlSn army gen.
orally enter at Sandhurst or Woolwich.
when they are between sixteen and.
eighteen years of age. At that period
a large proportion Of them is greatly
below the required height, but they
pursue their studies. and trust that
Providence will render them tall
enough for the final measurement. A
large number Of cadets, however. fail
in this respect, and 1t has become the
fashion to go to Prof. Atkinson and be
stretched. 1t Is said that nearly four
hundred of the cadets have been
through the process, which means that
over $50 feet have been added artt-
ficially to the British army.
It is interesting to note In this con-
nection that both the present COM
mander in chief, Lord Roberts, and his
predecessor. Lord Wolseley, would be
precluded from entering the army at
the present day on account of their.
lack of inches Indeed Lord Roberts,
it is said, only obtained his commits
sion through a clever device.
When he presented himself to join
the Bengal artillery, after leaving Ad-