Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1903-08-07
DRiFTWOOD
Pieces Of Individual Opinion Washed Up by the
Tide, Doomed, Sawed. Split and Piled

DRIFTWOOD
Pieces Of Individual Opinion Washed Up by the
Tide. Doomed. Sawed. Split and Piled
BY LUE VERNON.
Old women like young husbands as
we'll as old men like young wives.
You can tell the most stupid story
or joke, and you are almost certain to
have lot OF fools to laugh.
There is young lady in Olympia
who is not finished musician, rs yet,
but the neighbors are making threats.
1t makes no difference how large
the pane of glass, you should always
remember a sledge hammer can break
it.
When one buys q crate of fruit,
nowadays, he generally finds nice and
solid ones on top and other kinds be-
low.
A small.fry boodler hung himself in
st. Louis the other day to escape SUI
fering from the heat. The question
arises, Did he escape?"
The faculty of the University of
Washington need not be censured as
to strictness in discipline. simply be-
cause it has "Kane" in use all the
while.
If war is not what famous American
General once called it, will some one
give us an equally terse definition of
automobile racing?--Buckley Banner.
Yes; Seattle.
We are not down on pianos as a
musical instrument. Not bit. We
are down on people that don't know
how to play them, and what is more,
never will learn.
II a school teacher has nine pupils
and she also has eight apples and she
wishes to give apple to each pupil,
how can she accomplish it? Why,
make apple sass" See?
The cheese used in some saloons is
strong enough to fight, when insulted
by remarks of patron Of the "booze
bazaar" instead of turning green and
stirring up a smell about it.
It's hard on the mail. carriers OF
Washington, d. c., when one Of their
superior officers delegates one of their
number to cut the grass off his lawn
and the government pays for it.
Here to the flea
That's no larger you see,
Than the point of a very fine fine pin.
But the lump that he raises
Burns like blazes
And that's where the rub comes in.
If some day you intend to pose as
"the Oldest inhabitsnt," you will do
we'll to fix firmly in your mind the
fact that it was in the year 1908 that
those long editorials appeared in the
P.-I. OF Seattle.
When King Edward ordered the
court to 60 into mourning for q fort.
night for the late King Alexander of
Servia, he never mentioned Queen
Draga. Probably he did not consider
Queen Draga q " Lille"
We saw awoman on Fourth street,
Tuesday, with = hat on her head as
large as q bushel.basket. This is no
exaggeration. The hat was about
three times a. large As the young wo.
mans head. and top-heavy.
The man who is non.committal on
q public question for fear it would
hurt his business to take sides, is the
loudest-mouthed critic OF the news.
papers for not doing that which he is
too cOwardly TO do himself.
The flag on the city hall of Van.
CONVEX, B. c., was placed at half.mast
in respect to the Pope. Some one not
thinking it the proper act, showed it
up to the masthead. The Mayor OF
Vancouver is investigating the matter.
1t is reported that a great deal of
counterfeit money is in circulation.
As to to this being true we don't
know, but we do know for q positive
fact that there is precious little of the
genuine article in circulation that we
can get hold OF.
The Methow Valley News is a new
paper published at Twisp. Okanogan
county, BY H. E. Marble. It would
seem to be good place for chair
Tipped" people to reside. Yet we hope
the editor is not so hard hearted as
his name would imply.
Some bartenders know as much
about making lemonade az a pile.
driver does about compounding a pre-.
scription in drug store. We tasted
one last week that was a cross be-
tween the flavor of the Sacramento
river and Epsom's salts.
1t kind OF makes us chill and
shiver when we read the names of
the Cardinals at the Vatican. Some
how or other it puts us in mind of
names we read of during the late as.
sassination of King Alexandra and
Queen Draga OF Servis.
E. P. Green is soon to start a paper
at Pasco. to be called the Express. II
Green, after starting the paper. ex.
presses what we heard a man say OF
the climate at Pasco, one afternoon on
a hot day of August, year or so ago,
at the station, while we were await
ing the arrival of . train, it's q sure