The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1903-11-05

He-And at last they agreed to mar
nv. She-Yes. and 1t was the last
thing they agreed .on.-Denver Repub-
lican.
And where did he take you after
the theater?" Home" "Ah, so you
are engaged at lastY-Chicago Record
Herald
Wife-What do you think of my pic
ture? Husband-It will do. Evidently
snapshot, my dear. "WhyT Your
mouth is shut."-Ex.
Alas: Miss de Muir-Were you ever
hypnotized, Mr. Hector? Hector (sad-
ly)-That is my excuse for being mar
ried.-Town Topics.
"And so they are married Do you
think they will be happy phey
ought to be. He has no friends, and
she has no relatives
Wasted no time: 1.-THE manager says
he engaged the 40 chorus-girls in 70
minutes" Gracious. but he's quick at
figures. Town Topics.
Terence, what is the doctors dag
nosis of your case?" HE hasn't told
me Wit, but I'm bettin' it'll be iv'ry clint
av tin ollars."-Chicago Tribune.
1.-THE expedition endured the extrem-
est hardship" Yes: 1 understand they
were locked in the ice during two lee
ture seasons. detroit Free Press.
Guest Tin cheap restaurant-Wel
waiter, what have you got? Waiter
Beefsteak and fish-but the fish is all
out. Which'n you have?-Chicago
News.
A magnate: "Is he very rich?"
"Rich? Why, he's so rich he daren't
look twice at girl for fear she'll bring
breach of promise suit."-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
The Lady-So your brother fell at
Vicksburg, my poor man. Was 1t
cruel bullet that did the work? The
Tramp-No'm; he fell off freight car.
Chicago Daily News.
Evidence of an eyewitness: Guest
Why, do you believe in second sight,
major? Major Darby lin an impress
sive whisper)-Because / fell in love
at first sight.-Punch.
"Are you we'll acquainted with your
mother tongue. my bOy?" asked the
school teacher Of a new scholar. Eyes,
SIR" answered the lad, timidly. ma
jaws me good deal, sir"
"Did l understand you to say that
you always eat breakfast food in
the morning. asked the man from
Missouri. Sure" replied the man
from Massachusetts. "Pie."-Cincin-
natl Times-Star
Not wasting time: whats the mat
ter with old Fred?' asks one workman.
"'E's got a splinter in his and" says
another "Why don't e pull it Out"
"Wot. In his dinner hour! Not like
lyw-Tit-B Bits.
Harry, Harry! What are you doing
with your fingers in baby's MOUTH"
demanded mamma. Looking for the
spoon," he replied. Nurse said he
was born with a silver spoon in his
mouth but l can't find it"'
What wonderful painter Rubens
VAST remarked Merritt, at the art
gallery. Yes" assented Cora; lit is
said of him that he could change a
laughing face into a sad one by sim
gle stroke" Why" spoke up John
ME, in disgust, "my school teacher
can do that"
Waiter-Oh, yes, oysters are good
now. This Is an ''r'' month, you know.
Customer sort o. suspect that last
one was a backslider, or perhaps he
hadn't heard that the time for him to
be good had arrived" Boston Tran
script.
you seem inclined to think well Of
this titled stranger who desires to mar
~ your daughter" WELL" answered
Mr.. Comrox, II must say this much
! for him. He consulted me on the sub
ject of the marriage. which is more
than my daughter is likely to do
Washington Star.
No, Mr.. Spoonamore. I never could
be happy with a man of your habits"
my habits, Miss Pimmie. What do
you know of my habits, may 1 ask 2"
You haven't been In this room more
than half an hour, and in that time
you have sat on my sofa pillows, lean
ed your head back against my rocking,
chair tidy. and put your feet on my
embroidered foot-stoOl. "-Chicago Trib-
une
Judge-You say you got that black
eye as the result of blow by the de-
PENDANT? Prosecuting Witness-Yes,
sir Judge-Tell me the circumstances
under which he struck you? Prescott
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