davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
D THE TROOPS.
Soldiers Were Dissatisfied But Cook
Did Not COMPLAIN.

Gen. Chatfee, during the late
military maneuyers in Maine,
Went around the camp inspecting
things privately, says the Boston
Post.
Il say" he queried of a mourn
Unlocking sentry at Fort Levett
one foggy morning, chow are they
feeding your"
Pretty poor, | can tell YOU
yrumbled the sentry, who belonged
to a Maine national guard regi-
ment.
You don't really mean that?"
inquired the general, solicitously.
"Why, what are they giving your"
"Wal,' drawled the down east
er, sadly, the other mOrnin'
they served us a ration o. prunes,
There is 40 on us and we Just
counted them prunes-there was
So"
The deuce you say exclaimed
the general, with apparent sur
prise. why, that's more than
two prunes apiece. That's lax
ury.. With this he departed,
chuckling merrily.
Later he climbed into a shack
where a darky was cooking the
rations of a company.
Morning, cook" said he, pleas.
antly "How do you like cooking
DO your men treat you nice%
Purity good, sah," murmured
the astOnished darby,
Don't complain of the food o,
swear at your
"No, sab" was the d%eferentia
answer.
II tell you what it is, you mus
be a boss cook; that's the reason
"NO. sab" was the smooth re-
ply. Fact is, | just come, sir
they run the last cook out Of cam
this mawnin', sab"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
Trouble for the Proofrender.

"If you think that am going to
pay you a penny for this advertise
ment of mine in your measly old pa
per, you are nightly mistaken, my
friend said an irate business man
as he slammed down a copy of the
Morning Reyeille on the counter in
the business Office of the paper.
"What is the matter with the adj
vertisement?" asked the business
manager of the paper as he came
forward.
nd ask what is the matter, if I
were you'll What I wrote was "a fresh
invoice of dairy butter every day
VIII you just cast you eye on that ad,
of mine and see what you have print
ed!"
The business manager 'cast his
eye" on the 'ad." indicated and
looked for a place of safety when he
read
"a fresh invoice of hairy butter
every dayl"-Lippincott's Magazine.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
CURED PARALYSIS

W S, Bally, P. 0 True, Texas
writes NV wife had been suffering
five years with paralysis in her arm.
when ] was persuaded to use Billiards.
Snow Eminent, which cured her all
sll right. have also used 1t for old
sores, frost bites and SKIN eruplions 1t
does The work" 25c., soc, sI0o.
For sale by C%renshaw & Y,uug.
II. 5m1
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
Brain.FOOd NOnsence.

Another ridiculous food fad has
been branded by the most competent
authorities. They have dispelled the
silly notion that one kind of food is
needed for brain, another for muscles,
and still another for bunes. A correct
diet will not only nouriSh a particular
part Of the body, but will sustain
every other part. Yet, however good
your food may be, its nutriment is
destroyed by Indigestion or dyspepsia.
You must prepare for their appear
ance or prevent their coming by TAX
ing regular doses OF Green's August
Flower, the fayorite medicine Of the
healthy millions, A few doses aids
digestion, stimulates the liver to
healthy action, puriies the blood,
aud makes you fell bouyant and Wig
orous. You can get this reliable rem
edy at Leroy Farmers. Price 25c
and 75c. II l4ml
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26

Marriage licences have been issued
to Thomas H Slack and Mamie J
Smith, both of Chapel Hill; and
Charlie Marion Lewis, Of Corder and
Lula Estelle Landrum, OF Waverly,
We are receiving orders for Red r
from some Of our old friends who
used the flour twenty years and
longer. The memory OF the good
quality is still fresh in their mind, as
it was always good. 1l-5tf
The mind. reading of Nine Vernon
still keep the people guessing.
Everyone is hunting up their old
coins to catch the lady, but so far no
one has been successful.-Meriden
Conn, Globe. Nine. Vernon will be
at the new Grand Saturday, Dec. 26
V. H. Huber, 40 old w. NJ A. boy,
now in the employ Of the St louis
Yellow Pine Company is visiting his
father near town. He has been trav-
cling for his company 10 Mississippi,
Louisiana and Texas. After the
holidays he will be located perma-
pently in Arkansas,
A special called meeting Of the
Lafayette Presby terry was held here
Tuesday night to consider the calls Of
the Higglnsvllle church to Rev. X.
Ryland, the Marshall church to Rev
j. E. Abbot and the Pleasant Hill
church to Rev. DR.. Boude. All the
calls we're fayorably considered, ant
the different churches we're instructed
to install their pastors respectively.
We are receiving words of praiS,
from a large number Of persons whit
have used our Lexington and Red r
They say thit it is as fine as silk
others say that it cannot be beat'ant
Others that they are surprised that vi
are making such fine -four on TIN
starting Of the mill. Remember yol
take no chances as every sack I
guaranteed to give perfect satisfac
tiou, Call at your grocery store To-
it and take no other. LIST
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
WELLINGTON AND VICINITY.
(BY LEALMA)

(BY LEALMA)
Oscar Westerman visited friends in
Blackburn last Sunday
Thomas Duley OF Buckner transacted
business here Monday.
Mrs E j Weslerhouse is spending
this week with relatives IN Concordia.
W. Johnson shipped 20 head Of
mules to Sparks Bros. at Kansas City
Tuesday.
w F Purcell and Seth Leberman, of
Independence were greeting friends in
the streets Tuesday.
Frank Woodward came down from
Kansas City Monday and will remain
until after the holidays.
Lee Mince left Tuesday for a ten
Aaya visit with relatives and friends In
Cameron and Hamilton Mo,
The public schools we're closed at
noon Wednesday and will not be re-
sumed until Monday January 9Th.
Hen Crews, Mule Boese, and Wood
enhead Denton and Hyde Holke we're
viewing the sights in Lexington Tues.
day afternoon.
w Crabb who has beer conduct.
ing a paint and wagon shop here fol
several months past left for Oklahom'
Wednesday evening TO reside in future.
Gentle reader with this issue,
Sinks the old year to repose,
Like in autumn withered, fading,
Fragrant lies last summers rose.
Seentless petals now all scattered,
Trod TO earth, forgot neglected,
So Our facts aod fictions printed,
Souzht by bright eyes close, inspected
And the careless, thoughtless floating
On with times eternal streams.
Slowly glide from tickle memory,
Lost as goes some Idle dream.
9aviug just a mystic shado~,
And dim outline on the brain,
But the full drawn form and feature,
We can meier recall again.
Indistinct and faint remembering,
All Of Gods rare blessing here,
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
While we uourish ever tie t1fes,

While we nourish ever tie %trifies,
That great wrongs to Us appear.
Yet unmindful that he never
Lets the smallest sparrow fall
Wounded and unseen, but mercy
Hovers round his creatures all.
Let us pause dear friends rejecting,
Close inspect all thoughts in heart,
TOough the teardrops of repentance,
All unbidden Oft will start.
Careful weigh each word and action,
Casting anger from each part,
Pouring balm upon the bosom,
When we thrust a cruel dart.
Starting out anew resolving
That all through the coming year,
Wen be kind to all mortals.
Passed upon our pathway here.
May the neighbors who so kindly
Much assistance to Us lent.
Gathering up the scattered items
That we TO the paper sent,
And to others who were patient
When we made some 81 ght mistake,
All withholding harsh expressions
For u wounded feelings sake,
Ever be more kindly growing,
Ever more assistance lending,
Ever yet more worthy proving,
Ever love and duty blending.
May the printer deftly working
Closely watch bis as AMI p'
If he finds that we've neglected
Dolting rs and crossing Us,
Think dear brother how we're tempted
When our pen gets caught and jammed
Through aud blots and tears our paper,
just to swear may it be-
Well we know you know exactly
How these little matters are,
And that further we re entitled
To your earnest tender prayer.
May we all in days yet coming,
More of time and strength employ,
70 bring every soul aroud US
More of love and peace and joy,
Help all mankind to draw closer
Near each other and TO God,
Broken friendship be revealed,
Love but Strengthere ed as we plod
Upward, onward, ever hoping,
Trusting yet that by and by
Each will find ONE good news printed
On the records upon high.
LEALMA
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
NOticel

To the farmers Of Lafayette county
and citizens Of our neighborinR viii
ages, II you want the best dinner"
that can be served for 25c stop at the
Commercial Hotel. Good parlors and
waiting room Courteous treatment
E. NJ. Coon. Proprietor.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
And she's Getting Wen!

A few days ago a Miss Death was
brought TO the German hospital to be
operated upon for appendicitis. She
was a daughter, she said, of an I'M
dertaker.
Thea&rgeon's name who was chos-
en- to perform the operation WIS
Dye-DA Frank Hackett Dye.
When the operation was ver Miss
Death was placed in charge Of two
Iurses.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
g TY NEWS
cordet Items.

cOrdet Items.
Adah Corrln is quite in.
Ed Hsckley was in Slater Sunday,
Oscar Jones is quite II with pDeumc-
MIA
Jesse Erwin spent Sunday in Mar
shall.
j. T. HarwOod was here on bust.
ness Monday.
Albert Steele is quite III at his home
south of here.
Miss Stella Lewis will spend this
eek in Marshall.
Miss Mary Edwards returned from
Blackburn Sunday.
Misses Allie and jessie Bell were in
HiggInsvillo Monday.
Lewis Carthrae came home from
Kansas City Thursday.
Misses Hannah aud Joda Groves
were in Higginsville Tuesday.
Miss Myrtle Bishop came home
from Kansas to spend Christmas.
Mrs. E. L. Armbruster and little
son, Lawrence, are spending this week
in Odessa.
Arthur Frerkiug and sister Miss
Lille, returned from Wlndfeld Kans.
Wednesday.
AMi.ses Mary and Georgia Page, Of
igglnsville spent Sunday with Mrs.
VIM. Carlton.
The NJ E. Sunday school will have
a Christmas tree and entertainment
Thursday night.
Misses Maize and Gertrude Dean
spent Sunday in Blackburn with Up
Taylor and family.
Miss Joda Groves returned from
Lexington where she has been attend.
ing Central College.
Mrs. D, G.. Jackson and daughter,
Viola and Miss Gertrude Dean were
IN Higgiusviile Monday.
AFleteher Groves and bride OF Kan.
Pas City came down Thursday to spenC
Christmas with home folks.
Mrs. c G. Parks and baby daugh.
ter Roberta, arrived Sunday to spend
Christmas with her parents, Mr.. anc
Mrs. J. F. Groves.
A @. Hines and family, e. W, Leis
er and family and E. l.. Frerking ant
family spent Sunday with X. l.
Frerking in Alma.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
Stock Holders Meeting.

A meeting of the stock holders
Of the WinkIer Furniture Company will
be held at the office of the Company,
Tuesday January 5th 1904, for the pur
pose OF electIng a board of directors for
the ensuing year and transscting other
business that may come before the
meeting. H. w WINKLER, Pres,
ALBERT WINKLER, Sec'y.
l2-1lt3
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26

"If the bankers of the country only
knew the great difference a little soap
and water makes in a dirty bank note,
there would be more clean money in
circulation said a treasury official
while talking with friends one day
last week. "If you have never seen
the operation, just spread a soiled
note out upon a marble slab and use
a small brush that has been we'll
soaped, and go to work %scrubbing
lightly, of course. But a few strokes
is necessary to secure a clean note.
l give my personal attention to all
the paper money brought into my
household, and | tell you / feel re-
paid for the little work it causes.
81 can see every reason why there
should be a person employed in the
duty. Certainly the neglect in doing
so gives ample cause for complaints
from the patrons concerning the dir
ty, oily notes that are too frequently
handed to them. They may be full Of
germs, which, of course, are danger
ous, and this risk could be easily
eliminated by the simple use of soap
and water."-Mail and Express.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
ANALYSIS OF THE PEERAGE
English Publication Puts A~ristoeraey
on Very Low Plane.

English Publication Puts AhstOcraey
on Very Low Plane.
Progress is revolution in dis
guise and by degrees a we'll
known tory has recently said; sit
is destined to make the peers pow
erless and the poor prosperous
The description will remind many
of the phrase uttered by CrOm-
we'll: There will never be a good
time in England till We have done
with the lords"
What, asks London Truth, isl
the value of our peerage Of today?
Lord BeacOnsfield answered the
question in "COningsby" many
years ago:
"'Ancient lineage said Mr..
Millbank, L never heard of a peer
with an ancient lineage. The real
old families of this country are to
be found among the %peasantry;
the gentry, too, may lay some
claims to old blood. | can point
you out Saxon families in this
country who can trace their pedi-
grees beyond the conquest;
know of some Norman gentlemen
whose fathers undoubtedly came
over with the C%onqrcror. But a
peer with an ancient lineage is to
me quite a novelty. No, no; the
30 years wars of the roses freed us
from these gentlemen. | take it,
after the battle of Tewkesbury, a
Norman baron was almost as rare
a being in England as a wolf is
now
81 have always understood,
said Coningsby that our peerage
was the finest in Europe
From themselves, said Mill
bank and the heralds they pay to
paint their carriages. But / go to
facts. When Henry VII. called
his first parliament there were
only ~ temporal peers to be
found, and even some Of them
took their seats illegally, for they
had been attained. OF these 90
not five remain: and they, as the
HOWardS, for instance, are nor
Norman nobility. We owe thn
English peerage to three sources
the spOliation of the church,
the open and fragrant sale of hon.
ors by the elder Stuarts. and the
borough-mongering of our own
times. Those are the three main
sources Of the existing peerage Of
England, and in my opinion dis
graceful ones"
Lord Beaconsield might have
added a fourth origin of the ex-
listing peerage, to-wit, the bestOw.
al of honors upon the m~istresses
|, of kings and their illegitimatc
children. This decorous nation.
! therefore, delights to honor those
who have inherited titles from
such shameful sources!
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
BALDY MONsoN's
Won by Lucky Baldwin in a Little
Game of Faro.


There's not much danger that
the California state authorities
will interfere with the great gam
bling enterprises which Lucky
Baldwin has started, under an
irOnclad charter, in his town of
Arcadia, and the place has al
ready attracted a huge play from
the faro and monte p%lungers Of
the coast said an Old-time Cali
fOrnian who was in Washington
recently, according to the Wash
ington Post.
Lucky has become a good
deal more conservative in his per-
sonality of late years than he used
to be, but during the period when
the whimsical gambling was 60.
ing on out on the coast lucky
was easily the most daring chance
taker of all the notable argonauts.
Baldwin did some amazing stunts
in that day of all-day and ail-night
drinking, when Oyer-mellow men.
most of them with riches so sud
denly acquired that they hadn't
had time TO stop and figure ON how
much they possessed, tried to out
vie one another in the capers they
cut with Lady Fortune.
"One night in the late sos
Lucky as he was even then
called, walked into the famous old
Alcautraz club, on Kearney street,
in San Francisco, after having
been religiously stunning his bed
for about three days and nights
running ~ and in that shape
Lucky was in those days ready
for anything.
"a famous dealer in the Alcau-
traz club-the biggest gambling
establishment on the coast ut the
time-was Badly Monsoon, SO
called because his poll was bare OF
hair as a pat of butter, except for
a tiny patch that remained right
in the crown of his head. 1t had
been a cowlick. and, with consist.
ent stubbOrnness, it had refused
TO go when the rest of Baldy's
hair had departed.
Baldwin strOlled over tC
where where Badly Monsoon was
acting as lookout for the far,
game, preparatory to taking
hold of the box himself, and draw
ing Monson's head down, Lucky
began to count the hairs that thC
dealer had left on the top of his
head.
"'HOw many have You got left?
Baldwin asked of Monsoon.
eighteen of 'em an inch o.
more long, the last time they were
counted soberly replied Badly
There may be some trihing shor
ones besides in the tuft, but the.
don't figure
Eighteen, eh% said Lucky.
We'll, it's just f%ooIishness to b.
packing around only is hairs
Turn me the king, open, for S1S.
600, and if | win your Is hairs G
with the pot-how's that?'
Badly glanced inquiringly a
the proprietor of the club, VIII,
was standing by, and his employee
gave him the nod. Monsoon too
the dealers chair and began t,
deal. The king won down near tn
middle of the box, and the prOpr.
etOr of the club scrawled a chez
for $4,000 on the Bank of Califol
MIA and handed it over to Baldwin
Lucky shipped the lShairs Of
Badly Monson's head with tn
razor-edged blade Of his poke
knife, had the housekeeper at hi
hotel tie them up in tiny pink ril
bon, with a double bow to set ther
off and exhibited the tuft in tn
window of the Bella Union, /;
beled Badly Monson's Scalp
Fresh cakes at E. B. vaughan's.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
DEAFNESS BE CURED

by local applications as they canno.
reach the DISEASED portion of the ear.
There is only one way to cure deaf
ness, and that is by constitutional rem
edies Deafness IS caused by an in
famed condition of the Mucous hning
OF The En'achian Tubes. When lhiI
tube is inf ,med you have a rumbling
sound Or imperfect hearing, and when
| Is entirely closed Deafness Is he re-
sui, unless The inflammation can BE-
taken out and this tube restored to it,
normal condition, hearing will he de-
stroyed inrever. Nine cases out OF ten
are caused by Catarrh, which is moth
ing but an intiamed condition of the
mucous services
We will give One Hundred Dollars
for any case of Deafness %(caused by
catatrh) that cannot be cured by Hall
Catarrh Cure. Seud for circulars, free.
f. j. CHENEY & Co Toledo, q,
Sold bv Druggists, Zoe
Halls Family Pills are best.
l2-5ml
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
Stockholders Meeting.

Notice is hereby gwen that there
will be a meeting of the stockholders
OF the Morrison entwOrth Bank in
the directors room ia the bank build
ing Of said bank, IN Lexington, Mo-, on
Wednesday the 18th day Of January,
1904, to convene at nine O'Clock a. m
Of that day, for the purpose OF electing
nine directors for said bank for the
ensuing year and for such other bust
ness as may come before said meeting.
RICHARD FIELD, President.
F. R. HOWE, secretary.
1925 Lexington, nMo
Dr. N. B. Payne went to Hustonia
Tuesday evening on business.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
Kansas lands.

Write to Brown & Beard, Anthony
Kansas, for book, sent free, describ-
ing farms, with maps and price lists.
Full information for bone seekers
12.18t4
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
Afraid Of Too Much Progress.

Some men think 1t is up to them
to go a little slow in order to keep
from getting too far ahead Of the
~times.-Chicago Daily News.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26
For Sale.

Lafayette county farms, suburban
and city residences and choice build
ing lots. win try to suit you in To-
cation and prices viii take pleas
ure in showing you anything in my
line. w. V. CURTIS II 1Stf
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-12-26

to meet every want with a large and well selected stock
tie everybody to inspect our stock and make selections.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1903-04-29
HAVE TO DEAL WITH
FARMERS TELEPHONE co.
Connection with MOrgantown over the
State Lines Through that Company.

POINT MARION, April 24.-As re-
CARDS the connection by telephone
OF the Tri State Telephone company
at Morgantown, certain newspaper
statements have been made which
ignore the action and efforts of the
Farmers Telephone company com
pletely. The latter company own
the entire line from Morgantown to
Masontown, Pa, and it is over this
line the connection is to be made.
Isaac Vanvoorhis is president; E. j.
Moore is secretary and superintend-
ent. These two with directors Asa
NJ Sterling and Mort Vanvoorhis
arranged and attended the meeting
with officials of the Tri-State com
pany in Uniontown and are exceed
ingly anxious to consummate the
matter of the connection and only
desire honor to whom honor is due.
The connection will be of vast i'm
portance to large extent of terri
tory as the Farmers company have
lines into Stewartstown and Van
yoorhis and No 3 lock in West Vir-
ginia, Dunkari, Rosedale, Pt. Mar
ion, Dilliner, No. 8 lock, Greensboro
and many other places in Greene
County, Pa
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1903-04-29
MEETING OF The Az ;.lBISHOPs.
Session Held Behind Closed Doors.
Ground Broken for Dominican
House Of Studies.

Washington, Apri, 24-The annual
meeting Of the archbishops. the most
distinguished ecclesiast ical body In
the Catholic church of this 5s,nt-v.
was held in Mcmahon hal OF tn.
Catholic university. The .ei.Sas-
lions of the body, which W re held
behind closed doors, were resided
over by Cardinal Gibbons, Ar lbishop
Keane acting as secretary. ! lille no
archbishops was made, it was under
stood that much time was devoted to
consideration Of the policy of the
Catholic church in the Philippines.
Other questions affecting the church
ir the United States were considered,
but no announcement of the -conclu-
sions reached was made.
After the meeting of the archbish-
ops Mgr. O'Connell, the newly INSTALL
ed rector of the Catholic university
rendered a dinner to the assembled
prelates in the refectory of Caldwell
hall Attending the dinner were about
100 persons, including Cardinal Glib
bons, all of the archbishops, b5,.s.75
and clergymen assembled here to par
ticipate in the various exercises az
the university, and many ecclesiasti-
cal students and laymen of the church.
The first public ceremony of the
day consisted of the breaking of
ground for the proposed Dominican
house of studies, which has been 10.
Gated Immediately across Bunker Hill
road from the university campus. The
Ceremony was simple, but impressive.
The Dominican house of studies will
be an imposing structure of granite
in the gothic style and will cost about
$250,000. 1t is expected to be ready
for occupancy in October, 1904. 1t
will be the mother house of the Do
minican order in this country The
present mother house is at Somerset,
o., but the establishment will be re-
moved here on the completion Of the
new building.
At the conclusion of the ceremony
on the site of the dominican house
the procession of prelates proceeded
to the site # the proposed apostolic
mission house.
There, in the presence of a deeply
interested throng of church officials,
students and laymen, Cardinal Glib
bons, in the full robes of his high of
fee, conducted the beautiful and i'm
pressive ceremonial of blessing the
ground and aging the cornerstone of
f1a