The Irish standard., 1903-07-18

ed like bad dream. My one idea
was to live through them and get at
my life work. Never was there more
pliable novice than 1. In those days
we suffered real hardship. That was,
perhaps, the best feature Of our train
ing. was always cold, always ex.
hausted and overstrained, generally
hungry, and blindly but steadily Of
fered all up to our Lord for the sins
Of what we called ''great, dark Lon
don" gained immensely in indif-
ference to externals,. in habits Of I'M
questioning obedience and outward
humility. So far as 1 can learn, the
life of a poor Glare or Trappistine
is comfortable compared to that of
cadet in my day. Spiritually, learn
ed nothing. But soul which has
surrendered all, however mistakenly,
gains some grace; and l chung to God.
Outside the homes, Army life can be
healthy enough, mentally and spiritu-
ally. 1t is as the individual makes it.
After finishing my training. speut
three months in my own home, apply
ing Salvation Army tactics to the
habits of American villagers, then re-
turned to London as member of the
Training Staff, as we'll as editor Of
the international monthly, "All the
World" For several years l worked
steadily on the War Cry, also visiting
nearly every Continental country as
preacher and journalist, spending a
great deal Of time in the slums, help
ing in rescue and social work Mt every
possible leisure moment, picking up
stray children who needed caring for,
rushing off into the provinces when
wanted for lectures on Darkest Eng
land or at the Generals great meet
ings, and getting from my own work,
and through the loving intimacy &C.
corded me by the Booth family, as
round knowledge of the Salvation
Army as it is possible for a woman
to have. The General has even been
generous enough to say that l gave
him the germ of his great social
scheme. Lives so crowded as mine
was leave little scope for theological
questionings and the readiness with
which much contact with human ma
ture and facile familiarity with my
Bible enabled me to answer queries
and objections, kept my ignorance
from what George Eliot calls "a pain
full sense of limpness."
During the years up to 1890, 1
never remember a shadow of doubt
that 1 was doing Gods will. Sor-
rows were many, difficulties thick. 1
agonized often over my lapses from
Salvation Army standards of perfec-
ton. toiled to conquer my hot tenn
per, l strove to crush the "worldli-
ness of the intellect" which wearied
Of Wesley. and Fletcher. aud Finney
and Mrs. Booth, and longed even for
Il mathematical work to let my mind
out on. But l believed all wrong was
iii myself Father Fabers Growth in
Holiness and Spiritual Conferences
came into my hands ut this time. ana
have no words for the help they
were to me. l told my superior Of
ficer who, to faithful Salvationist,
takes the place Of a director, that they
helped me more than my Bible, and
he solemnly warned me against
drawing either comfort or help from
"a tainted source" Next came Cath
Ollie sermon-the second one had
ever heard-preachel in the Church
of the Holy Name. Manchester, in
which city l was 1ecturing and col
lccttlIg for the Darkest England fund.
In 1t. the three-fold power Of prayer
WAS clearly brought out, ami the value
of acts and sufferings, as we'll as Of
n.uc words offered up to God. Oh,
the li".ht and healing that came
through that sermon! After that 1
wanted more Catholic books, and dis
covered st. Joseph's Library, May
fair. L cared not at all for theology,
but revealed in lives OF saints and
founders of religious orders, and
strovc to weave all learred into ny
OWL life and work, and to popularize
them into the War Cry sketches.
My fcllow-editor did me one very
good turn. "I've got wonderful lit
tic huyk he said to- III" O,t. day
Remarkable. It's called Catholic Be-
lief, by Father Bruno" LEND it to
me-" pleaded.
Il daren't," he said But it's only
sixpence, and you can get it in the
Row.
1 did before slept. grew fond of
Catholic Belief. It's denuncia tons of
Justification by Faith only furnished
me many a text against what Saliva
tionists abhor as "Only- Believe-ism."
But it didn't stir my conscience, and
Il Hail Mary" which l essayed to
say once nearly choked me. never
could even remember the "Hail Mary
till 1 really wanted to pray it. A Life
Of st. Teresa, with preface by Car
dinal Manning, made great impress
sion on me. I felt, as does my ole
auxiliary, DR.. Whyte, of Edinburgh