The Caucasian. (Shreveport, La.) 1900-192?, 1903-02-12
TEDDY'S CRANIUM
INDICATES A FIGHTING, BEAR
KILLING. FOOLHARDY MAN.
Physical Defects Pointed Out by Bill
Arp-The Difference Between
Mckinley and Roosevelt. T

An enthusiastic ad1nirer of Bill Arp
and the Atlanta Constitution. one of the
best newspapers in the South, has hand
ed the Caucasian the latest letter by
Bill Arp which he desires to have pub
lished for the edifcation of the many
who do not but should peruse Bill Aro's
letters in the Atlanta Constitution. To
me-" he said. Bill Arp writes according
to my notions. I have been rea ling
Bills letters for years and | delight IN
his style of ripping TIP things in gen
eral. He is thoroughly Southern mar
and / wish he could live and write for
ever" With this deserved compliment
as a prelude we give Bill Arp's 'etttr
and here it is:
"A little more grape, Captain Bragg,
said General Taylor at the battle OF
Buena Vista. And SO we say now to
Captain Teddy, "A few more niggers
to Offices sup North and few more to
our Southern postoffices. Go the whole
hog while you are at it. Mckinley gave
you a starter by appointing. a negro over
a white community at Hogansville, and
another at Athens, the cultured college
city of the South. but he got alarmed
and took the back track 1t was just such
a case as you have now in Mississippi
at Indianola. for the people of Hogans-
vile went four miles to get their mail
rather than take it from negro-a
dirty politician" Teddy has done no
worse on the postofice line. The post
offices are the peoples not the presi-
dents. They are almost as near to us and
as sacred as is orr preacher or our fam
lily physician. No greater insult, no
greater outrage upon our right could be
perpetrated by a tyrart than to appoint
a negro as postmaster IN a white COM
murlity. The difference between Teddy
and Mr.. Mckinley is that the latter
PLAYED fool for a while and quit, but
Teddy keeps it up and grows more de-
hant of Southern opinion and Southern
Indignation. Sometimes Providence af-
.flicts the people with a fool, and some
times with knave to tyrannize over
them, but it looks like we are to have
both fool ard llnave in the same person.
Bit the Lord 1oveth whom He cllast-
seneth.
A medical friend from over the line
writes me that he has growing sense
Of Justice end abounds in sympathy for
our long-sufTering people, but Ieddy's
.deforn1ity does not come from original
sin or total depravity, but from physical
defects in his anatomy. and says:
Il have studied his Uranium and ind
that he has too small a cerebellun. His
occ1put goes. straight up from the me-
duila oblongata and meets the sinciput
at right angles and leaves no room sfor
moral attributes. A perpendicular back
head lie Teddy's indicates fighting,
bear-killirg, athletic and foolhardy man
The aphryon and the messiah plane are
cra1nped together and Teddys back
head is. a perpendicular plane without
hill or dale. A man with a vely small
lcerebelium IS peculiar, and it will be
found on inspection of the sInciput OF
forehead that the nose and cheek bones
generally rest on an enormous jawbone
Ior. as you might say, the jaWbone OF ar
| ass. If Teddy had lived in Samson's
day he would have rejoiced to have
Ibeen his armor- bearer, and carried his
jawbone some.
/ Just so--exactly- only so, bul
also. understand . all now, and thank
| my medical friend. The lack Of eere,
beIiuin. and inedulla oblongata and occi
put has made Teddy crazy about bear:
and neg roes and other black Woolly
Things. But should like to know Whal
kind Of a cerebellum that fellow Crum
picker or Stulnpsueker or Dirtdaubel
| hat GOT that makes him SO venomous to
/ ward our people At Teddys request h,
has introduced resolution to have ;
committee appointed 70 visit lndianols
and see what our people are doing t
1.-THE co1ored postnIstress. OF course, h
will be appointed chairman Of the com
nittee, but I'll wager ten dollars h
| don't go. He is nothing but gas bat
land a coward. Mr.. Thompson tried h
get him to come down to Alabama aIlt
see how the negroes on his big planta
ltion were getting on. He was invitet
and accepted the invitation, but he die
mot come. He was afraid. And that j
/ what discourages me about any grow
ling sense Of justice prevailing arlnons
1.-THE common people up North II the.
/ are erettino a,7y kinder WHY do they serls