The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-08-29
Farmer, sell that wheat
81 Hold not a single peck: "
The man that wants a. lid
VIII get IT in the neck"

4 : II
The Kenyon rural telephone line is Prov
ing great boon to curious subscribers II
the Kenyon Signal can be believed and
we have never known any. reason for
doubling it. The other day a friend Of the
editors walked unexpectedly into q farm
home 1ear-well pretty near Kenyon. sif
we must tell-and discovered lady sit
ting In a rocking chair, busily sewing, with
the telephone receiver tied to the back nf
her chair where she could hear all that
was being said. over the lire. She said, by
way Of defense, that she paid for what She
got and was bound tofg get her moneys
Kenyon that this girl is not next to it win
be because her hearing is defective or tho
line out Of order. The Kenyon Signal will
make great mistake IL 1t does not get so
astute and conscientious reporter on its
staff
I D. G. Linsley OF North Dakota raised
|some remarkable crops this year, potatoes
as big as turnips, turnips like pumpkins
and cucunnbers that went three to the
yard without mouIting feather. Mr.. Lins-
ley was Unfortunately proud of these yege-
tables and took a box Of them down to
Morris, MINI, to show his friends and to
brag over them. When he arrived at the
place where the Morris Sun shines for all
he left the box temporarily at Wells
Bros. e. Hanson Co.'S store. Early the
next morning he took some Of his friends
to show them the wonders of North Da-
kota's fertile prairies. The box was rip
ped OPEN and the sight took away Mr..
Linsley'S breath for a moment. He still
believes 1t is the work of some internal
scoundrel with no sense Of humor what
ever. The potatoes were about the size
Of marbles, the turnips were runts and the
| cucunnbers We're little. stubby, yellow boys
that looked as If they had been blown up
| with an air pump. go
{ Thirteen astute North Dakota detectives
have been trying. to connect Ole Hanson
| with case of substitution, but Mr.. Han
| SON claims that North Dakota land is only
worth about $1.75 per acre, anyhow.
| Farmer Ben, often quoted in these coll
umns, has settled the Bacon shakspere
controversy thus: II tell you that when
a lot of upstart smarties in these last days
pop UP and try to tell what happened 500
years before they was born and rite
| against the universal and undenied testi-
mony of folks that lived in those former
| days when all this happened and which
they knew OF and which they writ down
| in history, I'm out of patience. Why, 800
years from now they'll be saying that
there never was such a person as Farmer
Ben and that he never writ his own pro
auctions. You see If they don't. It's all
nonsense for us to-day to try and go back
a thousand years and tell what happened
| in the face Of the indisputable facts Of his
| tory that were then writ down."
Foolish people who are said to be in
possession of old, pre-revolutionary charts
yellowed with age are digging for buried
gold, Captain Kidd's possessions doubtless.
on the shore of Long Island somewhere.
It is curious how man will nearly wear
out his back digging for buried treasure.
when he couldn't be forced by his wife
even, to dig a post hole on the back of the
lot to set up clothes dryer. There is
something in the idea Of buried treasure,
lost mines and the like that appeals
to the sense of the romantic. There are
1 VERY few boys who haven't dug for buried
| treasure or for Indian relics at some
time In their careers. Or, II they have
(not done that, they have secreted buried
ktreasure'' themselves. Didn't you bury
an old wooden tomahawk UP In the pas
1 ture when you were a boy? Or an old
4 copper cent? Or an old tin box with a
dime novel in It? -"
i ''@s', "A T r