davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-05-23
Judged Insane.

AT a special meeting Of the county
court Tuesday, John Tuepner Of Ma
poleon was judged insane and Deputy
Sheriff Smith took him to Fulton
"Wednesday morning.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-05-23
e. A STEADY INCOME.

salary or commission paid weekly. Our
~ acre nursery requires local and travel
ing agents everywhere to dispose Of It's
pIouucLs VIII arrange for whole or part.
Mme, Outht free, We guarantee proftahf
ana pleasant employment the year 'ronn
"nte today for special terms, l-23EA
Brown Brothers Company, Rochester, NY.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-05-23
MRS.
MARY HARDY
-

almost constant backache for the last
year. The other two suffered from Ca
tarrh of the head and throat.
81 have usedit after q most unpleasant
experience with an attack Of la grippe,
and found that three bottles completely
restored me to health."-Julia v. Teller.
Mrs. Mary Hardy, of 56S w. Polk
street, Chicago, ILL.,, writes;
al find II necessary each spring to
take some kind of a tonic and have
tried a greaf many but have found
none Of such value as Peruna.
"Afer taking few doses I feel tho
good effects and seldom need to take
more than one bottle as a spring medi-
cine. "---Mrs. Mary Hardy.
Mrs. Catherine r. Bertos, SO3 N. Elm
street, Centralia, ILL.,, writes:
al have found Peruna the most salts
tying medicine 1 wei tried in my life.
1 suffered for years with catarrh of the
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-05-23

stomach, which became aggravated
every time I caught a slight cold. Ny
food did not digest properly, and life lost
its best charm until I tried Peruna. II
made q new woman of me. 1t took eight
bottles to effect a complete cure, but I
would not be back in the former condi-
ton for q thousand dollars. I am most
grateful for being cured completely and
feel better than 1 have done for years.
Cntharina r Rartna
The Washington times., 1903-03-29

He does not have much to say. for the
situation is not new. He waits until she
is finished and tells her she was under
tie influence only a few seconds and
that he was busy during that time pull
ing the tooth. How would he have time,
even IL he had the inclination. to make
love to her? And he suggests that a
woman is not at her best when her
mouth is open and she has just been
relieved OF a tooth. And this sometimes
only makes matters worse. for such an
explanation is insulting to some women.
Men are most troublesome when they
get into the chair and insist on talk
ing continually. Instead OF telling his
patient to close his mouth. as he would
like, the dentist smilingly asks him TO
open il and permit him TO work often
times he has TO resort to the use OF
the rubber-dam for no other reason
than TO keep the man from talking. An
accomplishment OF the dentist is TO
understand what he calls ''rubber-da
gib5erish." It is the unintelligible
The Washington times., 1903-03-29
POISONS IN DRUGS AND CLOTHS

year that Congress authorized the de-
partment to start a systematic investi-
CATION OF drug impurities, just as il
had tested foods for fifteen years, but
as yet. said DR.. Wiley. no laboratory
for the new branch had been provided
But" he added we are going 10
begin to do az much OF the work as
we can. anyw5y. using the department
other laboratories"
Beer and glycerine were two other
drugs that the tests showed to contain
arsenic. each enough OF the poison 10
endanger anyone using the preparation.
while most eordials. like absinthe and
creme de menthe were impure.
IN England. said DR.. Wiley. IL had
been the law for a long time that the
standard o. the government pharma-
eopedia must be complied with and the
presentation was not forced TO prove
the druggists malice, but the latter had
to show that he was not az fault.
The Washington times., 1903-03-29
GENERAL BOOTH AND THE PRESIDENT

IN the letter OF President Roosevelt TO
L General Booth. which was read at
the farewell meeting to the founder Of
the Salvation Army at the Metropolitan
Opera House in New York last Tuesday
night, a reference was made to the gen
erals breaking bread in the White
House An officer of the salvation Army
smiled when the letter was read.
THE general is a great bread eater"
ne said. not because he is particularly
fond OF it. but because it is about the
only diet that agrees with him. His
condition does not permit him to indulge
IN any OF the delicacies which are found
upon the tables OF people who entertain.
'I don't know how much bread the
general got AT the White House. but he
had TO hght for what he got at the
luncheon given him by Senator Hanna
The Senator probably did not know that
the general was on a prescribed diet
"A plate of bread was placed before
him. and at the same time a course was
served which the general had 20 turn
down. IL was done in a way which at
The Washington times., 1903-03-29

chatter that patients indulge IN wbo,
the rubber is strapped across their
mouths. Baby-talk is plain United
States by comparison.
The patient who continually .aI,o.
hold Of the dentists hand or arm ,yna,
he is operating is a great annovancs
so. also is the timid piece of femfpipt,v
VINO must have some one 10 hold bsr
nand while she has a tooth extracted.
For this purpose. a truly enterprising
dentist employs a nice hair-psrted-in-
the-middle boy as assistant and hand
hcIder"
many persons scream before the for
'eps even have touched them. and when
the dentist. with a little foresight
closes the door to prevent occupa3ts
In nearby Offices from turning in a
police alarm, they set up a vail even
more painful 20 hear than their first
attempt. CuriousIy enough. these nor
sons forget to make even the slightest
noise when the actual pain comes.
Patients who want their teeth repr-
lated cause a dentist much trouble
They cannot be made to understand
mat set Of crooked teeth cannot bo
made straight in a week or q moptb
Why they have to 20 about with -
mouth full Of separators. regulators and
other Strengthening appliances they can
not comprehend They pull them of
"hen they are the least bit in the wav
and return TO the dentist with tar.
OF woe
Inquisitive patients are numerous in
the dental chair. They want to know
'he why and wherefore of everything
placed in their mouths. What IS tbat
Tor? what are you doing with tbat
wax? Where DO you put that little eat
piece Of gold2 What is that instrunar,
for? Must you grind any moreq t5o,,
much longer will it take? Those a,d
a dozen other questions are asked eva-,.
hour
The girl who jumps Just a. The ro
ment when the dentist is apn1vi,,
hot instrument 10 filling and co1sa-
10 H'' up piameS II all on
the doctor. He has told her not To n,o,,s
but that makes no difference. And the
trials a D. ID. s. has with the making
and setting of bridges and plates are
too intricate and Numerous to mention
but they all go to make up a daily
grind that spells torture to a man who
must smile and smile and be a den
tist still
The Washington times., 1903-03-29

telephone 10 the receiver direct from
the DostofHce.
But the system is not confined to
Stockholm The whole of Sweden IS
covered with network Of cables and
wires Al short notice = = possible
to converse with Haparanda, in the
north, sixty miles beyond the railway
terminus. or with MaImo. in the ex-
treme south.
At the present time larger wires are
being laid in the north. When this
task is completed and the trunk lines
are in full working order again Il will
be possible to carry on a conversation
with the utmost ease between Victoria
Hafen, on the Arctic Ocean. and Mos
COW. Berlin. or Paris
In short. the telephone system Of
communication has been carried TO the
highest pitch of perfection in the
scandinavian Peninsula.
But even now il cannot be said that
the system has attained its greatest di-
mcnsions If one is TO Judge from last
years figures, from which IL appears
that no fewer than 1000 fresh install
lations were made in Sweden. the ma
Iority in and around the capital.
The Washington times., 1903-03-29
LEADS THE WORLD IN TELEPHONES

DRoBABLY the first thing which
L visitor to Stockholm. Sweden. re-
marks after his arrival is the appalling
number Of telephones scattered about
the hotel, in the corridors and rooms
In his bedroom he viii perhaps find
one. and just outside the door another.
He cannot move twenty steps without
discovering a new one. While. when he
goes out into the streets he will see
little shelters. each OF which hoIds an
instrument
II his @asherwoman does not send the
linen back punctually he rings her up
TO ask the reason. II he wants company
ar dinner or lunch he invites a friend
through the telephone. Il is here.
there. and everywhere.
In Stockholm there are more sub
scrihcrs to the telephone than there are
in New York and Chicago together. 1t
is used very advanta geously in the
rapid discharge Of work by the state
authorities
There are arrangements made by
which kilograms. instead Of being sent
10 the house, are communicated per
The Washington times., 1903-03-29
:. :. TROUBLES OF TIE DENTIST NAN :. :.

OF ALL professional men the den
~ list is considered 10 be the most
heartless and unfeeling. Each visit 10
his Office is made with fear and tremb-
ling: he is dreaded even more than the
careless chauffeur But the trials of his
patrons are as nothing. when compared
TO his own. He is beset, badgered and
abused continually.
Each patient who comes into the office
endeavors to impress upon him that ner
teeth are unusually sensitive. DO be
careful. doctor" is the plea Of nine out
Of every ten women patients who come
TO him for work And to all Of them
he smiles and makes promise to be
very gentle.
Tho woman who pranccs into his
presence and smilingly asks him If he
will not put in a pretty gold hlling in
her front teeth is one Of the trials OF
The dentists lie. He knows before he
examines her mouth that there is no
cavity in front, but she is possessed
with the idea that a shining gold nilinE
would add 10 her aIready-in her own
timation-numerou charms Perhaps
il will correspond with the yellow Of her
hair. II the dentist needs the money
ne will do it: If not. he will refuse to
cut into sound tooth 10 crafty the
H., - , ef1Iv uroUau
This same type OF patient often comes
into the Office and displays division be-
tween her two front teeth and wants
f. filled with gold. She dislikes gold,
she informs him. but the division is
unsightIy. Upon examination the dentist
discovers that she has worn a bit of
toothpick or a wad OF rubber in between
her teeth for days 90 make the sepsra-
ton. But he dare not tell her this.
He explains that ne can draw them to-
gether in a day or two and obviate the
difficulty.
Perhaps she makes an appointment to
come again-never intending 10 do So
and goes straightway to another dentist.
But. in all probability. she viii argue
he question pro and con with him and
leave the office in a temper.
Another bore is the woman who wants
to take gas and have tooth extracted.
Sometimes a dentist will give gas and
extract tooth for a patient when his
assistant is not about, but in most cases
he prefers TO have third party present.
And this is the reason: The woman
comes from under the influence in An in
dignant mood and informs the dentist
that he is no gentleman, that he tried
TO make love 10 her. and 70 kiss her.
while he believed her to be unconscious
The Washington times., 1903-03-29

regarding d case. The severity Of this
legislation goes so far as 10 prescribe
penalty Of imprisonment lasting from
three months 10 three years. at the
judges discretion. for disobedience
There is 10 doubt that this has re-
suited in great hygienic benefit To the
country at large. In some sections. in
deed. there are certain forms OF disease
which are nowadays little more than
memory. Students OF the healing art
may have read description Of the dread
Affections in books. but they see actual
cases In the hospitals so seldom that
they fail 10 recognize the symptoms
upon coming into contact with them.
Yet the stamping out Of these dis
eases is not altogether an unmfxed
blessing The progress Of hygiene has in
some instances had it's disadvantages
as in the remarkable case Of certain
practitioner in the little Town OF Al
bendorf. in Silesia.
Albendorf is one Of those little places
whittier people sometimes make Dill
grimages IN search Of the quaint things
that survive far away from the center
OF modern civilization.
Among a little party OF such pilgrims
who visited the town recently there
we're two who showed signs OF smallpox.
Their condition was not reported TO the
authorities. they were not isolated in
any way. ana as a result a great many
persons caught the disease. and there
we're several deaths The imperial gov
ernment took up the matter and ordered
the local courts TO punish the unfortu-
nate doctor by sending him to prison
for an least six months
Six months in prison." cried the vic
tim, as sentence was about to be pro-
nounced- Il am astonished al such ia-
justice. The court cannot be serious in
decreeing the punishment
How can ! be found guilty for not
declaring a case Of smallpox I could
only notify the authorities OF a disease
recognized, and I haven't seen small
pOX for so long that / do not know IL
when ] see it. There is no more smallpox
here-it is a fossil disease. You might
as we'll reproash me for not recognizing
the native sickness Of Uganda or the
North Pole"
The Washington times., 1903-03-29
HUMORS OF INSTRUMENTATION

Ir is perhaps due to the difheulty OF the
English language that the average
foreigner. however painstaking he may
be. so often finds himself lapsinE into
quite unconscious humor when he tries
to express himself in IT,
The gentleman who was responsible.
for instance, for the following paragraph
in the columns OF an English paper pub
lished in Germany was. no doubt. very
innocent and well-meaning. but he GER
tainly conveyed quite a false impression
when he wrote. The Bishop Of - has
left England for New York. pursued by
Mrs. T. what he meant to say was.
no doubt, accompanied" by Mrs tt;
but the picture he suggested CT grave
and right reverend bishop fleeing from
his pursuing spouse was as far removed
from fact as could well be.
Those who wandered through the last
Paris exhibition in its earliest days were
amused TO see the following legend
wherever the paint was still wet: Be
ware of-%ae picturei- II did not seem 10
occur to the bold translator that the
French word "pointure" and the Eng
lIsh picture" were not necessarily the
same thing.
"Ahi" wrote an enthusiastic French
man of a young lady who had reused his
admiration. she Is a young lady Of
great Inizzen topmast-" What he meant
TO say was that the lady was very
sprightly. but, unfortunately the French
"fougue'' has a nautical equivalent in
his dictionary. as well as the word
"sprightliness. % and Il was ais bad luck
TO choose il for the purposes OF his de-
scriotion-
The Hindoo is responsible for many
amazing efforts OF translation. A mis-
sionary. lately returned from India.
tells how once. when he wished to
have the beautiful hymn:
Rock OF Ages. cleft for me.
Let me hide myself in Thee.
translated into Hindoo, he intrusted the
task to a clever young native student.
The Washington times., 1903-03-29

THE palms and tropical plants in
the court at the Postofice De-
partment are attracting much at
tention these sunny spring days because
of the fact that new leaves and stalks
are beginning to sprout and the old
leaves have begun to brighten up. In a
months or TWO they viii all have a fresh
supply of leaves and viii present a most
beautiful spectacle in the court. with its
snowy white walls and half hundred or
more windows
There are about fifteen tall palm
trees. which because of the warmth
of the court have hourished just
as they did in the South American and
Porto Rican towns from which they we're
brought Some Of them are eight or
nine feet tall, with no leaves on the
lower part OF the main stalk. but fifty
or more spreading fan-like leaves at the
very top. They closely resemble large
and keep the sun from shin
ing down in the eyes CT the postal clerks
and others who are compelled to work
directly underneath the large skylight.
There are also a number Of fancy grass
plants in the court. They have a
The Washington times., 1903-03-29

! tracted no notice. The general had
showed his plate OF bread 10 one side
and a waiter removed it,
a few moments later the same plate.
or another, was placed before him, and
a second course was served. The gen
eral had to make some sort Of blum at
the second course. and in doing so, the
waiter again removed the bread.
This was kept up during the
luncheon. Just about the time the gen
eral was getting ready 10 partake OF
bread il was removed from his grasp
BY the time the luncheon was pretty
nearly finished and all were satisfied ex-
cept the general. he turned 10 Senator
Hanna and said
Give me some bread and butter.
That waiter has taken away the bread
he gave be at the removal OF every
course. Please let me break bread with
you before I go
Then Senator Hanna learned that
the general had been more OF a spec
tator than a guest at the luncheon. and
1 am told that a luncheon followed on
the quiet. at which bread was given the
general until he had 10 beg the Senator
10 let up"
The Washington times., 1903-03-29

and one-fourth inches long. when ;hcy
disPerse. being fit 10 take care of them
selves. While in swarm in natural con
ditions ii is difficult il not Impossible
TO seine them.
Pugnacity Of the Male
In his chapter on pond or semi -srtif-
cial propagation OF the black bass. MIR.
Lydell describes the Michigan ponds.
which are from 100 by 1870 feet to 100 by
iOO teet in size. with a central kettle"
b feet deep and shore depth of feet.
They had at first small breeding ponds
attached Brook water ran into them.
The bottom was natural sand. and water
plants that supply food for fry were
grown in them The parent fish flourish
best and have the most productive eggs
when they are fed in winter on live min
nows Livcr-fed bass were not hardy.
and the percentage Of failure in their ova
was high. AT the first there was trouble
due to the intense pugnacity OF the
males. In one instance. a male who first
entered a little spawning pond and began
to build a nest. and therefore regarded
the whole rond as his property ard held
it against all corners. was attacked by a
score OF males and killed. However. MI
Lydell settled the problem ot preventing
dghting.
Il had noticed" he says. that in the
natural water the nests Of the small
mouthed bass were frequently built
against a stone or log. so as to be
shielded on one side. When so built
the nests might be quite close together.
as near as four feet. and the fish did not
fight, because they did not see one an
other when on the nest. II occurred TO
me to try to construct artificial nests
and shield them so that the fish on the
nests could not see one another. placing
tho nests so neat together as to fully
utilize the pond area"
Handling the Fry.
The tendency OF the fry when they
rise from the nest of scattering in
swarm under natural conditions was
controlled in the ponds by setting over
each nest a cylindrical screen of cheese
cloth supported by a band iron frame
.he wooden nest frame being removed.
The fry throve in this. and the faithful
male parent in each case had to content
himself with watching the brood from
outside. The young FISH subsisted on
crustacea, and when wanted were re-
moved 70 shipping cans or ponds from
these cheese cloth screens. They grow
very fast. In one instance in little
more than three weeks they had in
creased from three quarters Of an inch
to two inches In three months such
fry had grown to be from four 10 six
inches long.
The Washington times., 1903-03-29

To the missionary's amazement the
Hindoo version. when retraasiated into
English. ran thus:
Very old stone. split for my bsneft.
Let me absent myself under one og
your fragments
Which was not quite what the author OF
the hymn meant 10 convey.
II was q well-known German clergy
man, addressing an English-speaking
congregation in Berlin, who threw his
audience into eonvuisions by feverentIy
saying at the end OF his speech. God
kipper your worthy PASTOR" which re-
minds one OF another gentleman OF
the same nationality professor in
Berlin-who. when bidding "Good-by''
al the station to some English friends.
startled them by saying Farewell,
Good voyage, / expect you viii be
iammed from de danger" OF course.
the welI-meaning man hoped" his
friends would be preserved from
danger" during their journey; but his
way OF expressing this wish was not
quite happy.
According TO the rendering in an
Indian Bible, the command, Judge not.
that ye be not judged" assumes the
startling form. DO no justice. lest
justice be done 20 you and a French
lady raised doubt as to her sanity when
one day recently she ordered a waiter
to bring her a bootjack (tirebotte) in
stead Of the turbot she had set her
heart on.
But. after all. the English OF the
Swiss hotelkeeper carries Of the palm
for unpremeditated humor. This. for
instance. is the way in which a we'll
known hotel is advertised in a Swiss
newspaper.
The - Hotel is a favorite resort OF
those who love the solitude Those who
are In search OF the loneliness are. IN
fact. nocking 10 this hotel from all the
fore-quarters Of the globe" While the
landlord of an Alpine hotel counseIs his
guests thus:
'Misters the venerable voyagers are
earnestly requested not to take the
clothes OF the bed to see the sun rise,
for the color changes"
The Washington times., 1903-03-29

tendency 10 spread out also, and keep
the suns powerful rays from penetrat-
ing into the work rooms OF the mail
carriers and clerks.
The plants were brought TO the Post
Office Department about two years ago
and placed in the court, which is above
the room in which the men assert the
mail and cancel the stamps The glass
roof allowed the sun TO shine down
upon the men when Sha building was
first erected. and many complaints were
made TO the Postmaster. These COM
plants came from the men on the
ground floor. but the complaints made
by the employees of the Postofice De-
partment who have Offices above and
on the sides or the clerks room were
more numerous and lusiy. II was de-
cided to place something in the court
to soften the light Of the whited sepul-
cher. and the palms and tropical plants
were found 10 be about the best thing
procurable. Before the installation OF
the plants everything in the place was
perfectly white. and for fear Of injur-
ing their eyes. the cIerks-particularly
the women-da=ed not look out OF the
windows OF their rooms The light
was reflected from the white walls di-
The Washington times., 1903-03-29
A Thinking Spell.

Use jes' think.n' bout de spring
time.
Case I know he's on de way;
Wy. de icieIe am shrinkln'.
He is drippin' mos erway.
LeetIe ws'mah wedder fetch him.
Den de spring takes right erhold.
X it's good-by. good-by wintah.
Den it's good-5y 10 de cold.
Dere amt nuthin- lex de springtime.
Gibbin' life T. things dats daiS.
" de birds get huslin. buildin'.
En- sing songs up oberhaid.
~ de flowers stat a-peepin'
Up erlOng de medder paI-
Den hurrah. wild joy rs hilin'.
Jes' bout at q split in han.
Sho' Ise got L do some hoein'
Fl 1 specks er melon crop.
Bus I'll git de thing soen ober.
Eoll jes' see dis niggah hop.
Den de rainu come wen needed
Fob L sib dem vines er drink:
y de sun, Oh. he'll keep loOkin'-
i.or'. IL makes or Nose les think.
Use jes' pickin' at de banjo.
Thinkin' bout de night 4 come.
Wen I sits outside dis cabin.
CESS eb'ry ting viii huGl.
Amt no music lax de bsn5o
Jes' bout wen 20 work an done.
N yo's noticed In de daytime
Dat de melons growed up some.
Mac MacsaVish