Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1903-03-13
'@1.IkSAES

III Jaw Go " pAS"n ie'-"oStoh 4Adus-
cript.
'Tis better to have loved and re.
celved alimony than never to have
loved at all.-Life.
inexpensive fight: II think | shall
go to Europe" How can you afford
+ to go to EuropeY II cant, but can
afford to think. Brooklyn Life.
Mr.. Newlywed-Your salads amt
like my mother used to make. Mrs.
Newlywed-Well. your salary amt like
my father used TO make.-Judge.
Allce-What makes you think he has
been in love before? Edith--The pro-
posal he made to me was entirely ex-
temporaneous.-Phi Ledger.
A cool reception: Did you notice?
have new electric fan in my Office"
"Oh. yes; got wind of it the minute
opened the door. "-Philadelphia Even
ing Bulletin.
THAT mob scene was handled with
splendid effect" said the critic. "Oh,
yes replied the manager; you see,
we hire the villains creditors to go on
in that scene."-Ex.
That's good counsel the new
preacher gave us" said the deacon.
which Isl? Love yer neighbor while
he sleeps, but watch him while he
wakes. Atlanta Constitution.
Il had good job on hand last
Nigh" said the first burglar. but I
was slipped by an open-faced watch"
Get out!' Fact; it was a bulldog in
the yard.'-Philadelphia Record.
Editor-You haven't mentioned the
bridegroom's name in this wedding
story of yours. Reporter-Oh! yes. I
have. I've got him down among
those present "-Chicago American.
Mrs. Bloggs-Wot's candles gone up
for Mr.. Binns? Mr. Binns-The war.
Mrs. Bloggs. Mrs. Bloggs-Oh! I
didn't know them poor soldiers had
to fight by light.-Moonshne
A building proposition: Cholly-Why
so quiet. Miss Grace? Grace dightly)
oh, | was building castles in the air.
Cholly-What did you use for corner
stone? Grace-A solitaire.-Town Top
les.
Gayman-So you don't believe me.
Ell? | suppose you believe that men
are decevers ever" Mrs. Gayman-
Not at all. Sometimes they only think
they are dangerous. Philadelphia
+ Press.
Spoiled his boast: Stout gent-Well.
sir, I'm self-made man. l began life
as a barefooted boy. Thin gent-Well.
as far as l can make out l wasn't
born with shoes on. either.-Moon-
shine
Hopeful Hawklns-De Teddy mex
door give me some angel cake. Couldn't
you help me little? Mrs. Stoneheart
Sure. The doctor lives at the second
door, three blocks down.-Chicago
Daily News.
MY wife was nearly scared to death
last night" said links. "Just before
going to bed we discovered fire in the
house." Lucky man, exclaimed
jerks. in the cook stove or the heat
err indianapolis sun.
He-You women are forever discuss
ing the bad points of your neighbors.
II you were to gossip about their good
points it would be more edifying. She
Perhaps so, but who would listen to
s?-Philadelphia Press.
THAT was a stirring. moving drama
at the theater last night" PILOT ex-
ceptionally strong, | presume?" Il
didn't say anything about the plot
was referring TO the activity of the
audience between acts" Baltimore
News.
They had a hard time killing that
bad elephant in New York. didn't
they? Hung, poisoned and finally cleo.
trocuted her." what a waste of time
and materials! Why didn't they put
her in front of racing automobileY
Cincinnati Tribune
Those professors: First College PRO.
fessor-What are you going to do next
to get your name in the papers? Sec
ond College Professor was thinking
of declaring that the dictionary is too
wordy to be considered good litera-
ture.-Baltimore American.
IF l stand on my head. the blood
all rushes to my head, doesn't it?" No
one ventured to contradict him. Now"
he continued, triumphantly. when I
stand on my feet, why doesn't the
blood all rush to my feet?' Because"
replied Hostetter McGinnls, your feet
are not empty. Tit Bits.
Tie Literary Edltor-That fellow
seribbler sent in a poem this morning
entitled why Do Llye?" The Edl-
tor-What did you do with it? Tho
Literary Editor-Returncd it with an
inclosed slip, saying: Because you
mailed this instead of bringing 1t per-
sonally. "-Indianapolis News.
A hopeless reformer: 1T is sad TO
see this mercenary spirit SO nagrant.
y manifested in politics." said The