davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-29
Heath Is Happy.

A recent dispatch from Washington
says:
The Hon. Perry Heath-Perry of
the dmples and the smile-has been
more than usually dimpling and smil-
ing lately. Neither the animadversions
of Joe BristoW. nor the commentaries
thereon by President Roosevelt. made
that smile come off. And popular.
Except Uncle Mark himself there was
not a man about the Arlington more
sought after. One evening. in trying
to get to his room at the New Willard
it is a literal fact that it took him
an hour to walk from one pillar to
another so continuous was the stream
Of handshakers. And resign, Why,
the suggestion was too absurd for Sc
rious consideration. OF all which the
moral is: There are times when a good
friend like Hanna is convenient to
nave around. For, whatever else may
De said of Hanna, he sticks to his own.
Even Rathbone, who fell under indict-
ment and conviction at Havana, mas
always boosted that Hanna was be-
iind him. and would see that he got
square deal. So Heath is one of Han
Ia's boys, an he stands by and for
aim: and it makes no difference
whether it is the president or the pick
pocket on the other side, Hanna VIII
stand pat.
1t was President Mckinley who Hrst
brought Hanna and Heath together.
That was before Mckinley was presl-
dent, and while Hanna was merely
prominent citizen of Cleveland. Han
no looked at the young man a minute
and said: Perry. | am going to cali
YOU Perry. I'll tell you why. I'm OF
Quaker people, and when we Quakers
call a man by his first name 1t means
that we like him-that he is friend.
I like your face, and I'm going to call
YOU Perry" And he never has called
him anything else. And it's gooo
gamble that Perry won't resign from
the national committee until Chalr-
man Hanna tells him to.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-29
WaIcott to Meet Temple.

BOSTON Mass. Dec. 29-After
many weeks of negotiation Joe Wal
colt, the welterweight champion, and
Larry Temple, of New York, are to
come together in a fifteenround bout
before the Criterion Athletic club to-
night The two are considered the
best .colored fighters at their weight in
he country and as a consequence a
bout of more than ordinary interest is
looked forward to by the sporting
fraternity.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-29
DRAMATIC sKIT IN LEGAL PAPER
States Brief In DR.. Ames' Case Con-
tains an Amusing Feature.

MINNEAPOLIS, Mimi. Dec. %
First Assistant County Attorney c. s.
Jelly has completed the respondents
brief in the case of the state against
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-29
WILSON is A WONDER
Prisoner Who Soaped Himself .ant
Escaped Through SixInch Hole

PHILADELPHIA, Dec. 29.-Stark
naked and covered with soap so that
lie could slip his whole body through
sjN-Hch iron aperture that should
have hattened even his head, James
Wilson. colored. a notorious prisoner,
escaped from his iron-clad cell in the
county jail. Then, with a carpet-rag
rope. he attempted to descend from the
lo"-. but his rope broke and he had
terrific fail.
'I- made good his escape. however,
though in running the 6-inch gauntlet
a- had to remove from its exterior
tL sharp iron spike that was cal
.a.t.d 10 prevent Just such an escape
and then squeezed his way through.
-,.a 10 these circumstances the fact
.f this is the man who. when re-
GENTLY run down in Il cave at Chickies
-& attempted to scale the latter
~-vl and precipitous palisade, and
te@ have the most remarkable arttui
'.--er who has escaped from any
4raHsy F3nia prison in half century.
N.>'I, Who was cOnflneu OH TIC
second tier i'm an iron-clad cell. appar-
@lsy Without implements. removed
I ron frame of the window when
keepers were not about. This lett
IN @ening only six inches high Qess
'"'2 a hands span) and three feet
'-S' the opening extending horizon
'''|. A fiat strip of iron constituted
NlN' This strip and his own BODY
7 prisoner rubbed with soap, after
"o' ing his prison clothes.
outside the window were curved,
sharp spikes. but in some way I'M
aao"n 70 the officers the one that
-'~'d have prevented his escape or
'~ MN asunder. was removed. 1t
lo1Ad in the prison yard today.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-29

s.Some of YOU pleasure seekers said
the Rev. Mr.. Bosh, always seem 10
forget that there is such day as sun
day." And some of you holy fellows
replied the hard case, merely forget
it on the other six days.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-29

| former Mayor A. \. Ames. convicted
of receiving a bride and sentenced to
six years in the penitentiary. The
| document deals in a scholarly fash
| ion with all of the numerous assign
ments of error made by the appellant
/ put MS main argument is in support
| of the omnibus Indictment which is
made the main point of attack by de-
PENDANTS counsel OF the validity of
this form of true bill Mr.. Jelly has cit
ed multitudinous authorities and pre-
sented his argument strongly.
Humor is not lacking in the prose-
| cutor's work and under the head of
The plea of insanity the following
clever skit is introduced which is GER
tainly unique in legal literature.
Dramats Personae.
First consprator, the mayors spe-
cial officer :. :. Irwin A. Gardner
Second conspirator, the mayors
private secretary, Thomas R. Brown
Third conspirator, the mayors jester
ter, John Fitchett, alias Coffee John
Place, Mayors private office-Cur-
tain rises-Mayor of Minneapolis walk
ing the foor-Knock is heard at the
door,
Mayor of Minneap olis-What, no,
without there, open and enter. (Enter
the three cOnspirators.)
Mayor of Minneapolis-True devot-
ed and loyal henchmen, three. well
come. l pray you to what am l in
debted for this your most gracious
presence?
First nspiratOr-Prithee, SIRE it
grieveth me much to tell that on your
case we've solemn counsel held and to
you have come to say that being of
very weak and feeble mond and incap-
able of handling Campaign funds it
were meet that you intrust to our keep
ing the money 1 lately paid you.
Second Conspira tor-True it is and
pity it's It's true, but all the same my
lord, crazed you are, and though you
have an itching palm for coin, its value
you know not and with US 'twoud be
safer.
mayor u MlnledpOllS-Allu tnOu
Coffee" sayest thou so?
"COffee'-Yes, Doc. There is no
doubt about it, you're a loon. SO give
us the stuff.
Mayor OF Minneapolis-Et tn. COT
fee"
mayor hands over the money and
falls in 4 neutrality-suspicious. disap-
pear with the Campaign funds" Quick
curtainD
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-29

That man Brown has just bought a
fur cap and a pair of skates What
for?' ITO serve his own ends I sup
pose" k...,. ..xES.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-29

Such a scene may have taken place
and if it did, no doubt when the doc
tor came to, he then and Their realized
for the first time that he was insane
though no such thought had ever be-
fore entered his mind, fer he had giver
up the money; something that haC
never occurred before, and this lee
TO his giving his consent for the plea
of insanity to be interposed as a de-
Tense in his case.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-29

hemuS" said Chloe. "Ah saw some
.''.-EdlSln' buckwheat down ct de
'-7. OATS muffin" grumbled Re-
.,--, ' VINO had ten dependent offspring.
What All want to see is some SEN
'->'a' children"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-29

IAN any one tell me why Saul was
.+.-ea PauI?" asked a Sunday school
HEP OF her class. After long ST
tommy answered. 4 guess it
because he got married"
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-29

games and he has found the rules am
biguous in several instances. he says.
During the past year mu2h dlscus-
sion has arisen regarding the intefpre-
tation of some rules. When the pay
is made near a side line may any OF the
players line up out of the bounds! Ihls
should be stated positively, yes or no.
as this is very often ground for eX-
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1903-12-29

1 l. l L
gla-
her..
/ re-
some
fac
an
)day.
| | re-
POSED
to
| the
bling
|i9eS
ID Of
lraS-
HI as
w by,
but
| its
OATS
lday;
I'm git
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
Lead Pencil Experiments,

An English statistician was asked
how many words could be written with
an English lead pencil and, being de-
termined to answer 1t, he bought lead
pencil and Scott's "Ivanhoe" and pro-
eeeded to copy the latter word by word.
He wrote 9560S words and then was
obliged to stop, for the pencil had be-
come so short that he could not use 1t.
A German statistician who heard of
this experiment was dissatisfied with
it because all the lead in the pencil was
not used on the work, and therefore be
bought pencil and started to copy a
long German novel. When the pencil
was so short that he could not handle
it with his fingers, he attached a holder
70 it, and it is said that he wrote with
this one pencil 100000 words. PoSsi-
bly,, however, his pencil was longer or
the lead in it was of q more durable
quality.
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
Winter Way. of SQUIRRELS.

Gray squirrels do not hibernate, but
seldom leave their nests during the
very cold weather. On mild days in
winter, however. they come out and
race through the treetops and visit the
large stores of nuts which they gath
cred and hid away in the autumn.
Red squirrels are smaller, but much
harder creatures than the gray ones,
and, although they, too, have snug nests
of cedar bark in the hollow trees, they
use them only at night, for no weather
is so severe rs to keep these little fel-
lows indoCis. :!i;y are about the most
provident of all the creatures in the
woods, usually storing away under
brush heaps. beneath fallen logs and in
hollow trunks far more nuts than they
can possibly eat in one winter. They
do not put them all in one place, as a
rule; they generally have several boards
at some little distance apart. This is
a wise precaution, as it sometimes hap
pens that one store is discovered and
stolen by an enemy, and unless there
was another supply to fall back upon
the squirrels might die of starvation
Woman's Home Companion.
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
An Old English Inn.

The Ravou inn, an old hostelry at
Hook, near 3asingstroke, England, was
built in 1853 and still retains its quaint
old half timbered work, overhanging
gables and small windows The house
gained q wide notoriety in the latter
part of thc eighteenth century during
the American war of independence
through being the residence and place
of capture Of the famous Jack the
Painter" who reused the whole coun-
try in 1776 by his deliberate attempts
to fire drydocks and shipping. He sue
ceeded at Portsmouth, where $500, 900
damage was done; also at Bristol, but
was foiled at Plymouth. So great was
the scare that in response to a reward
Of $1,000 offered by the government
for his capture the whole country was
on the alert, and he was run to earth
and captured in this interesting old
house and eventually hanged and glib
beted at Portsmouth. His real name
was James Aitken.
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
The Vulgar Voice.

What constitutes the vulgar voice?
In an article in the London Spectator
q writer concludes that this evidence of
vulgarity, springs, like almost all vul-
garity, however displayed, chiefly from
two causes-an undue love of conspicu-
BUSINESS and an undue fear Of the
same" The person whose chief aim
is to keep himself or herself in the eye
of the world rarely makes q remark
without desiring that 1t shall reach the
ears of others besides the one directly
addressed, and here the peculiarly false
sound of the voice is attributed to the
absence Of singleness Of motive. On
the other hand, the wavering tone and
affected accent Of the timid vulgar are
ascribed to another form of insincerity
namely, the wish to initiate others
with whom one happens to be when
they are of supposedly higher social
standing. The attempt is sure to fail
and the result only in the suppression
Of all evidence Of the speakers own
personality-in the voice as we'll as in
the manner. Thus sincerity, paramount
In all art, is basic in breeding as well,
which is the art Of life.
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
Won MoItI<e on whist.

A German magazine published the
subjoined anecdote about Moltke: Did
you, your excellency. play whist when
you were in FranceT' asked Herr Won
Bennigsen of the great battle thinker
one evening over a rubber. "Bvery
day, when it was possible" replied
Moltke. 1--WE played half farthing
points, so that at worst the players
could not lose more than a shilling"
One day Count Berthusy was his part
ner. why, my dear count, did you
play spades2" said Moltke, in a sharp
and serious tone. 'T had an idea, your
excellency, that you wanted spades" I"
But my dear count. one does not play
whist according to ideas, but according
to rule" replied the field marshal,
shaking his head
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
Health Mnking storms.

What the tide does in the ocean of
water storms do IL the ocean of air
deleterious and poisonous germs are
removed or killed. The noticeable
smell of ozone after a thunderstorm
and the increased bodily comfort are
well known. Storms, in the main, are
due to the action of our atmosphere In
resisting the escape of the radiant
heat. Even at the equator great cold
exists at the trifing height of four
miles above sea level, which is reduced
to three during the night. One week
Of continued night In the tropics would
lock them in the grip of eternal frost
and put an end to all life Now and
again the upper fluid is punctured, so
to speak, and through the breach so
caused downward rush with rotary
movement is made till equilibrium is
again restored. Storms, therefore, are
essentially beneficent, both to health
and hfe. They reshape for use the
necessary life giving air and warmth
as earthquakes do the crust of the
earth
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
MIXED The LETTERS.
Serious Result of a Fool Man Trying
to Be FacetiOus.

Serious Result of q Fool Man Trying
TIC Be Facetious.
\ well known citizen of Clay Center
haI been invited to an evening party.
he wanted to go, but his wife declared
that she had no gown suitable for the
occasion and asked him to send re
grcts" to their hostess. The man went
down to his office and penned this face
tioGs note of Geclination:
I'VE regret that your kind invitation
must be declined for all the convention
al reasons. but the real reason Is that
half the family has nothing to wear.
My wife's latest dress is over three
weeks old, and her hat is twelve hours
out of date. You will appreciate the
hopelessness of the occasion and ex.
cuse u.s."
He thought this pretty good, and he
determined TO write note to his wife
also explaining that he would not be al
home for an early dinner, as she had
asked him. He said in this note:
Il have turned down your invitation
because am going out to another even
ing party where the guests are not ex.
pected to wear anything of importance
Sorry won't be there to kiss you good
night"
And then the fool man carelessly sent
his wife's note to the hostess and the
hostess note to his wife.-Clay Center
Times.
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
CANINE INTELLIGENCE.
A Dog That Felt He Had More Sense
Than His Master.

DOG Ihot Felt He Had More Sense
Than His Master.
Ny friend was staying one autumn
in Wales. Smoking and chatting one
evening with a local farmer, the talk
fell upon dogs. The farmers sheep
dog lay before the fire, and the farmer
instanced his sagacity. He made an
exclamation in Welsh. At once the dog
rose and went to the door. you
might let him out" said the farmer.
The sheep are in the corn is what
said to him." The dog passed eagerly
out. In a few minutes there was a
scratching at the door. The dog en-
tered painting and lay down at the fire
again. Shortly afterward the farmer
repeated his Welsh remark. Again
the dog ran to the door, and my friend
let him out. Again in a few minutes
was the scratching at the door, and
again he lay down before the fire pant
ing. After an interval the farmer re-
marked in Welsh. quite in the way Of
conversation: "I am not easy about
those sheep. 1 do believe they're In
the c1Tn," The dog, without rising,
looked up II the farmer, gave two
sharp yelps and turned round to his
sleep again. He said as plainly as
though it had been in words: Don't
be a fool. I've been out twice, and
ther're not In the corn."-London Out
look
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
A Primitive Clock.

A naturalist, while visiting Great
Sangir, one of those islands of the In
dian ocean known as the Celebes, OF
Spice islands, found a curious time re-
corder lodged at the house of rajah.
Two bottles We're firmly lashed togeth-
er and fixed in a wooden frame. A
quantity of black sand ran from one
bottle into the other In just half an
hour. and when the upper bottle was
empty the frame was reversed. Twelve
short sticks, marked with notches from
one to twelve, were hung upon a string.
A hook was placed between the stick
bearing the number of notches CORE
spending to the hour last struck and
the one to be struck next. The sentry
announced the time by striking the
hours on large gong.
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
ANNOUNCES THAT HE DOES NOT
WANT TO BECOME A CITIZEN.

A donument that is a curiosity
has been received at the Count ty
Clerks Office from Olaf Mathison.
who wants the clerks to know that
he has no intentions of becoming a
citizen of the United States. Mathi-
son writes from Washburn, N. D.
His letter reads as follows:
''To the Clerk of Court, Oakland,
Calf. Dear sir: The court record
in the Court House at Oakland, Cal, i,
l think will show that in year 1895
or '94 q do not recollect), l, Olaf
Mathison, a citizen of Norway, took
out my intention paper, it then be-
ing my intention to become a citizen
of U. S. A, but as I have now
changed my mind, l shall not take
out my second papers. I do, there
fore, hereby declare my first inten-
ton null and void, and ask it to be
stricken out from the record My
intention at the time was certainly
bona fide, but 1 have now changed
my mind in this respect. Will you
please write to me and inform me if
you found the record mentioned.
Attached to the letter is circular
on which are -Four Important Ques-
tions." They are: Your soul, is
it saved from hell?" " Precious
blood, has it cleansed you?" " The
new birth, have you experienced
it?" Eternity, where will you
spend it?" And in conclusion, as
though sending a special note to the
deputies in the county clerks Office,
Mathison adds:
'The wicked shall be turned into
hell.
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
"lIercurfaIe Syxords.o

When was it usual to insert running
mercury in the backs of swords?
This was a comparatively common
practice among the Italian, French and
Spanish swordmakers of the sixteenth
and seventeenth centuries, but it was
more of fancy than anything else, for
1t never came into general use. 1t was
not, of course, used for rapiers or the
lighter kind of swords, but for the
heavier cutting swords
The method was to cast the blade
rather broader at the back than usual,
with hollow running down it. This
was half filled with quicksilver and
sealed up. The idea was that when q
blow was struck with such q sword
the quicksilver would fly to the point
and so increase the weight Of the blow.
This theoretical advantage, however,
did not at all counterbalance the gen.
eral clumsiness of the weapon and its
unhandiness in guarding, and so the
mercuriale swords, as they were called,
from which their ingenious inventor
hoped so much, were rather military
curiosities than practical successes
London Answers.
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
sometbtpr to BE Th.nkfuI For

A ScOtchman who has a keen appre-
citation of the strong characteristics Of
his countrymen delights in the story of
a druggist known both for his thrift
and his philosophy.
Once he was aroused from a deep
sleep by the ringing Of his night bell.
He went down to his little shop and
sold q dose of rather nauseous medicine
to distressed customer.
What profit do you make out O.
that?" grumbled his wife.
"a ha'penny," was the cheerful an
swer.
"And for that bit O money you'll lie
awake maybe an hour" she said impa-
tiently.
Never grumble DER that, woman
was his placid answer ''The dose will
keep him awake all night. We must
thank heaven we ha' the profit and
none O the pain O. this transaction"
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
shout Breaks a Glass.

Every one knows that windows wiN
rattle when a loud noise is made in &
room, but very few persons know that
a glass can be broken by shouting into
It.
Any ordinary glass which has cleas
tone will do for this trick, and the ex-
act nature of its tone can readily be
ascertained by passing a moistene&
finger around its rim. This point be-
ing settled, the performer should hold
the glass in front of his mouth and
shout into it In tone about an octave
higher than that of the glass. The re-
suit will be that the glass will break
Immediately, and for the reason that
1t will not have strength enough to re-
sist the force exerted against it by the
waves of air.
The thinner the glass is the more
easily it will be broken.
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
u .sINEorCARDuI
THE POLITE. NEW YORKER.
His Action Proved That GaIIantry Is
Not @ Lost Art

MOI u LOSt ART
Don't tell me any more that New
Yorkers are not polite" chirruped the
young man who takes a powerful
sight of notice" to the old man who
reads as he rides as the pair left an
elevated train. "Saw something a lit
tie while ago that convinces me there
are others besides blanket Indians on
the Manhattan reservation"
"What was it?" queried the man who
reads and sees nothing unless per-
chance it be a vacant seat spotted afar
off over the top of his newspaper.
"You didn't notice it? OF course you
didn't. You were too busy forgetting
the fact that there were women In the
aisle of the car. 1t happened between
Ninety-third and Eighty-first streets,
and it almost made me feel that the
days of chivalry had returned. An old
woman was holding on strap and
standing in front of a dapper chap
with blase face.
"Step up farther in the center of the
carr shouted the guard, and the old
lady was about to obey when the dap
per head opened and its owner gallant
ly said:
"'Don't move, madam. get off at
Fifty-third street and Eighth avenue,
and if you'll wait you can have my
seat
"Such gallantry on an elevated train
in New York almost brought moisture
to my eyes, and If had had a baseball
bat am quite sure that 1 could not
have restrained myself from bringing
moisture to that part of the blase face
which ON the gridiron is usually pro-
tected by rubber guard."-New York
Telegram.
Amador ledger., 1903-02-27
Disliked Egotism.

whats the matter with your asked
his wife
I'm feeling lonely" was the reply.
Don't you like this town."
* don't like this earth"
whats the objection to it?'
people are too egotistical. If there's
anything I hate it's egotism. And when
I see kings going about confidently and
doing things wrong, and diplomats try.
ing all sorts Of insincere tricks with
complete effrontery, and lawyers seek.
ing applause for arguing on the wrong
side of a case, and everybody display.
ing utter selfishness without a blush, !
am forced to the conviction that l am
the only consistently high toned and
moral gentleman ON this globe. And il
makes me feel lonely"