Okolona messenger., 1903-11-18

Turkeys are looking toFWAru "
Thanksgiving.
The micrObe Of love generally sue
cumbs to the germ Of suspicion.
An egg has the advantage over a
man in that 1t is never too fresh.
An uptown undertaken display this
sign: "Try our cOffius. Step In"
When a man has no enemies you
can put him down es dead one.
The burglar may be as honest as the
day is long for he transacts all Die
business at night. rll.
Some men have so much self esteem
that Il makes them stoOP shoulders 20
carry it.
One reason why tree retains its
youth is that IL observes the natural
laws of health.
Selfshness is one Of the DEVILS most
insidious drugs. Once getting hold on
the system it is hard to eradicate.
The average woman's argument is
about on par with that OF toe katydid,
and she keeps it up just as long.
When a man is in financial trouble
sympathy OF the $40 variety is the
kind he looks upon Rs the real thing.
Ifit were not for i4afy June, fair
Luna and the beautiful snow, most
modern poets would be out OF loo.
The business world is largely repre-
sented these days by the descendants
Of Annias. Hi 4
Most modern love has Rbout as
mucbreal romance as q dish OF potato
salad highly favored with onions.
When We are most worthless, We
have noticed that we are most criti-
cal.
A boy must be at least sixteen to be
able to scratch his head without ex-
citing suspicion.
When you undertake an improve
ment, always understand that IL will
cost the outside figures.
Some women say that being mar.
ried by a justice of the peace, is about
the same as not being married at all.
Some people divide their time be.
tween patting themselves on the back
and kicking themselves.
Mr.. Buggins- Remember my dear,
that consistency is 3 jewell" Mrs. Bug
gins-''Yes, but iewslry is so vulgar"
Roosevelt's recognition of the new
republic OF Panama was almost
breathless.
SilIicus-"How is the best way to
keep a womah's lover" Cynicus-
"Well, you can't keep 1t unless you
return it.
Blobbs-"I won a hat on the last
election" Slobbs-''Yes, and / re-
member that the next morning your
head was too big to year It."
A coach and four he promised her;
That was before they wed, tits true,
Now twins have come, and we infer
She has at least coach and two.
A Nebraska man threw his wife in
as ''boot" in dis osing Of g horse. He
explained it by saying 1t was a good
chance to get rid Of two kickers.
An Atchison man is not only tired
Of life, bat when his friends see bic
wife's new hat, they admit that be hes
cause.
When q Woman's husband Is good to
her, she forgets 70 say her prayers,
and when he III treats her che remem-
bers.
It is getting to be 20 that It is as
hard to get along during day without
q lie, as without hairpins or q pants
button.
The young men who lOaf in parlors
should be OF q higher standard this
winter than usual, owing TO the ad-
vanced price Of fuel.
The world has reached such . stage
of politeness that a man can make ell
kinds Of a fool Of himself, and nobody
will tell him about it.
Another AtchlsOn father is cross and
won't play because be .dOsen't like
the son-in- law doll his wife and dangh-
ter have picked ont for him.
The public find it easy 10 excuse &
man for making aa ass OF himself Il
he wouldn't persist in explaining how
he did 1t.
There are a few things more dis
agreeable to q modest man than "a
have bis family circle try to show OF
his accomplishment on all occasions.
Just about the time everything gets
to running smoothly the fools break
loose again and remind us they are
sti1 doing business.
What's the use OF going to war;
Why not present hostile nations with
automobiles and let them Kill them
selves.
Il doesn't necessarily require foui
legs and q snout to make 3 hog. There
is 9 two legged variety always in evil
deree.
There was once fat woman who
didn't mind occupying an upper berth
but she died, and there are not any
now.
The kindergarten teacher was ex.
plaining the qualities Of yeast, and
asked each pupil 70 write little COM
nositi0n on the subject. Here Is what
EsFffaa ann sfann -. -