The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-08-25

=. SPARKS.


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It is TO be hoped that those who
deliver addresses before the Irrigation
congress viii bear in mind what kind
of a meeting it is and not make their
speeches too dry.
If the late John sprowls Of Pennsyl-
vania. whose descendants in Americis
number 1900, were alive, he would no
doubt have a cinch on cabinet po-
sition.
An anti-kissing crusade has been
started i'm Massachusetts. AS with sim
liar movements elsewhere, il has been
started by lot Of people who could
not get any kisses. anyhow, and 50
don't stand to lose anything.
1t is not believed the agitation for
wider fire escapes that has been started
in Washington is inspired wholly By
the fact that Senator Hepburn OF
Idaho viii be there this winter.
Texas also is backsliding. An &c
cused negro there was merely shot to,
death.
In view of different reports published
of late, we cannot understand how ru-
mors OF massacres in the vicinity OF
Monastir can be considered alarming"
Massacres appear 70 be the rule there
these days.
Perhaps Denver's streets needed
cleaning. anyway. so the clOudburst
may not have been an unmiXed evil
The board of health reports that
there are no typhoid germs in the city
typhoid is on the increase, which might
lead some uniformed people to believe
that Salt Lakers drink very little
water.
OF course in his remarks about spec
tacularism" y. B. Hill did not refer
to people who talk about race sui
eide etc. Not at all.
II Sir Thomas is as we'll pleased a.
the outcome OF it as he says he is.
there remains no reason why we should
not exult. It is merely respect for his
feelings that has kept US quiet here
tofore.
Langley to caution the public not to
expect too much from his airshfp ex-
periments.
Miss Alice Roosevelt is proving she
is her fathers daughter by inducing
her hostess. Mrs. Astor, to increase the
"4OO' to 500.
And now Clyde Fitch has written 4
play called "Glad Of It." which is
something more than the public is
likely to be.
Fairy's Calves.
The Toledo Blade says: Miss Fairy
Titmarsh has a pair of calves that can
not be beat in this section OF our gIo-
! rious republic Perhaps somebody
will write poem about them, as some
body did about Marys little lamb
Boston Globe.
We are in with this:
Fairy had two little calves:
They were so very sweet
Ihat everyone that saw them said
The calves could not be beat
Concord Monitor.
Miss Fairy took them to the beach.
They spOrted in the brine:
And those who saw them all agreed
Chelsea Gazette.
And after sporting in the brine
Now what do you SUPPOSE
Miss Fairy was quite short with them
And on them played the hose.
Duquesne Heights Gazoo.
No doubt Miss Fairy thought il slick
The hose, mad as a Turk
Remarlxing twas a low-dowu trick
Got in its Open work
Moods Run Grower.
Whereat the calves chirl1ed ND bit
And bleated loud, but fie!-
1t shocks me when I think of it,
They winked at passersby,
-Pittsbura DISPATCH
As might be expected Of calves so
| frisky as these, they got into trouble,
thus
| As time passed on Miss Fairy's calves
Became surprising large
| They got to kicking up one night
And the cops took them in charge.
! However. they worked out tbei- own
| salvation in this way:
Bat when they reached the station
| house.
] The calves made quite a hit &.
! BY dan cling all about the place
And they soon got out of it.
] They were a source Of some trouble
( TO their owner as the following shows:
Though tanned by life in-openwork,
/ Zach day saw them refuse.
Despite Miss Fairy's efforts hard,
To 60 tanned, into shoes.