The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-03-15
FUN OF THE WORLD.

FUN OF THE WORLD.
Wen. bub what is it?" asked Detroit druggist OF
the small DO with bottle hand
Please, sir. but here's the medicine 1 got for me
mother hour
Yes. and what's t?'
You didn't write the bottle whether it TO be
taken eternay Internally and she's afraid of making
mistake
Abraham lincoln had a rule evading difficulties.
AT cabinet meeting day is related. Mr.. Seward
jokngy remarked: Mr.. President. that turn
ed out for colorec woman on muddy crossing the
other day
don't remember answeasd Lincoln musingly.
I it very likely I have always made 1t a rule
that If people won't me. II
1 didn't. there might be a collision"
&c gga
Representative Kitchin North Carolina relates an
story justice peace IN his
1t that young attorneys trying a
before him. After the arguments had followed
the testimony the witnesses closed.
old fellow awakening deep reveries
he had fallen said addressing one OF the lawyers You
know. Hank I gave you the decision in the last
will give this to Tom You can't expect
set them ALL
n his recent book on China and Chinese
Giles tells very stingy Chnaman who took pal,ry
of money artist-payment is always expected
in advance-and asked him paint his portrait The
artist at once complied request.
portrait finished nothing visible the back
sitters What does this mean?" cried the
who paid little paid wouldn't care to
show his face.
<
Henry Ward Beecher amused
a Bowery restaurant occasion and heard the
waiter give such the cook Ham and -
"Sinkers and cow Watch me phaZe that waiter
with order which believe he won't abbreviate
marked Beecher length the waiter approached.
Give poached toast for two,
yokes broken" But the waiter. who equal
to the emergency walked the end of the room and
EN-a Wreck en- is
lated that DR.. Beecher nearly tainted.
The poetry-wrting habit which given boost by
Pension Commissioner Ware. spread the cabinet
members The President enlivened cabinet
ing today by reading the following from the of Sec
rotary Shaw:
Go ask papa" the maiden said
The young her papa dead;
knew the life he had led.
And he understood her when she said Go ask papa.
That's an easy thing insstent ofhceseekers
unused Mr. Roosevelt he ordered a bunch Of copies
of Secretary Shaws struck off a typewriter
President is anxious TO hear from Secretary
Hay in
sg
one morning banker stepped his Office and most
efusiveIy his bookkeepe who had entered his
service Just twenty-five years bfore at the time
handing him a closed envelope with the remark This
is to serve you momento of the present occasion
grateful recipient did not venture to open the
envelope until encouraged to do so by nod ano smile
from his employer. what do think it contained?
The bankers photograph-that and nothing more
The bookkeeper dumb for moment
Well what you think of it,? his principal IN
quired
It's just like you' the reply.
Z <
Some recent developments at Jefferson City have re-
called a story be told about former Buch-
county representative the legislature Beor his
election legislature he chronicaily broke
When he returned jefferson City he exhibited 800
in good crisp greenbacks. Some Of his friends joied
him about his prosperity.
you didn't have when you went to the legs-
lature did you, jones'
Not blamed cent" said Jones
AS matter of fact. 1 you half your railroad
didn't To-
believe you did
Well YOU were down in Jefferson City about forty
days got s. a day. Now. what the gang wants to
is how you managed TO save 500 out OF 6 total
income of S2o0.'
come closer" whispered Jones. and I'll tel
how 1 did it. I had my washing done at home"
ss x <
Tom Marshall Of North Dakota is passing around
the cigars in the cloak room. said Representative
Hank Smith Michigan last night To several mem
bers of the Addition his family something
I think" Smith added
Have me-" said Marshall. extending the cigar
when. did it come? asked Representative Lands
Early this morning" replied Marshall
Mother doing wel?" asked Colonel Pete Hepburn
Fine said Marshall
How much did it weigh?' asked General Grosvenor
sixty pounds said Marshall
quit it, General shattuc- Who ever heard Of
a baby that weighed sixty pounds
Baby your great-grandmother's eye roared Mar
shall ITS no baby calf Jersey, sire Stogis Poke
stoeis XII dam Queen Maria Mercedes ". and worth
500
oh" said everybody and each looked intent.
at the ashes Of his cigar
number Of politicians who have been here try
ing 10 get certain ONCE nominated by the
President by president that he intended 70
appoint the man proposed hy the other faction
one OF tn Ohiosns rushed the lonEdistsnce eie-
uhone and called Up the candidate a Columbus.
Well he said TIE candidate. were licked
What's thatg' asked the Columbus man 4 don't
understand"
Were licked"
Il what you mean
Good heavens shouted the Ohio man az this snd.
doesn't licked the over the Telephone
as il does in other kid q talk
Go on, protested the Columbus man. you're KID
ding ne"
The language Of the nan ths end q the phoas
frightfui-
Here you bIankety-blauk-bisnk IDIOT he yelled
DO you think spend time that costs Eve dollars
minute kidding anybody much lesz yoBF
4 gentleman who vas Discussing uith the ate y.
Parker the problem q future exclaimed TIE
fac; - sir that snnihHatlouis; believe that
when / de All D. ths end = ne" Thaak Cod foT