Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-12-12
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iier first proposal: Madge-Was
she glad when he told her the old, old
story Marjorie-You bet she was.
Why, that girl never heard it before.
Puck.
iIe--Suppose we found a mutual adj
miration society, l viii begin by say
ing ! admire your beautiful eyes. Now,
what do you admire in me- She--I
admire your taste.
Going to extremes: Snaso-rnls SOU
venir habit is getting to be something
fierce. Roid--l should say so. / know
of man who visited friend aud took
his friends wife as a souvenir-Iifc.
Niece-Now, Uncle Ned, isn't he Just
the sweetest little cherub In the werld?
Uncle--Well. Lucy, don't know much
plain human baby he is certainly
bowling success!
Within the limit: JOnes-I wish you
would figure on now house for me.
Architects Something about Eve thou
sand dollarsF Jones-NO; something
about five hundred I've only got five
thousand to spend ON it.-Judge,
Teacher Now, then, Tommy, YOU
have no good excuse for staying away
from school yesterday. Tommy
Wen it amt my fault. Teaeher-lt
isn't? Why Tommy Cause done
my best to think up good one
Not what she expected. Lady (of
uncertain age}-I have put. your seat
next TO mine MIR Rawlingson; | hope
YOU do not mind? Mr.. Rawlingson
Mind, my dear lady; you know how lit
tie ii takes TO satisfy me-Tit-Bits.
Definite; Mr., Newly-wed Qn The
kitchem are you cooking there,
my dear? Mrs. Newly-wed (exciteciiyl
Don't bother me now. There's the
cook book, I'm making recipe No. 1877
on page 306. --WomgB's Home Compan-
Ion
bobby say, MIR, Updyke, what do
YOU suppose Clara said about you just
before yoa came in2 Mr. Updyke-I
haven't an idea in the world, Robert
Bobby (amazed~-Well. you've guessed
il! That's just what she did say !-Tit-
Bits.
His Thanksgiving dinner: Il am
very sorry, Victor, TO think you were
such a glutton. Are you not sorry your
self that you ate 80 much turkcy2"
Yes, mother, cause hadn't any other
room left for the miace pie. "-Harper's
Bazaar.
We'll, Tommy, how are you getting
on at school?" First rate. | amt
dong so well as some of the other boys,
though | can stand on my head; but |
have 10 put my feet against tha wall
| want to do Il without the wall at ALL"
Punch
Hoogley--W When | entered your yard
last evening your dog barked at me.
Wllby--You could hardly expect me to
keep servants and let them fiji In their
time barking at folks, and I'm too
busy myself to attend to lt.-Boston
Transcript
Mistook the symptoms: He-Look
at that woman on the other side of the
street waving her hands about her
head Is she practlclng physical cul-
ture7 Sher-Mercy, 70! She's describ-
ing her new hat to another woman
Chicago News.
Although | have granted you this
interview" said the p0mpous new
office holder. 81 don't want people to
think I'm In the habit OF talking for
publication" "They won't" replied the
reporter, when they see these remarks
In print" Philadelphia Ledger
II seen you kissin' Name said her
little brother well, here" said the
dear girls accepted lover, III / give
you a dime can trust you to say moth
ing about it2" "Surel never peacaed
on any Of the other fellows when they
gave me money. Ledger.
Qnick work; The Surprising
your automobile was running Mt the
rate of twelve miles an hour, how
quickly could you stop in The expert
Why, your honor, while running at
that rate, l have stopped II time and
again before the rear wheels touched
the victim!-Town Topics.
Did She Know2 Fond Father
Showing off his offsprings inteiIl-
gcnce)--Now, Elsie, dear. what Is
cat? Elsie--Dunno. Fond Father
Well. what's that funny little animal
that comes creeping up the stairs when
every ones in bed? Elsie promptly
papa---New York Times.
What did you do with that fellow
who stole the horser asked the ten
derfo0t. 'fNOthin much" answered
Broncho Bill-"hst took the boss away
from him" rs that alIY" Yep. He
war settin' In the saddle with rope
around his neck tied to tree when we
took the hess away. though"
apolis Sun.
Unfinished: When the new puppies
were discovered TO be blind Teddy was
very unhappy His auntle assured hiIn
that God would open their eyes I'm due
tdua Whom besftinp eama trafs1u Vwaa