The Wichita daily eagle., 1903-07-16
The suburbanits and His Stop Watch

Just imagine itr' impressively ex-
claimed Mr. Isolate. of the suburb OF
lovely Lorelyville, as ne and his subur-
ban neighbor, Mr.. Hermitage, were com
muting to the city 10 business on the
seven-three flyer the other morning. Il
asked Mr. Tenveekly who moved
out to picturesque Lonelyvtle from Har-
lem six months ago and who ought to
be somewhat of a suburbanite by this
time, how long it took him to run from
his house to the station in the morning,
and-would you believe 1.-THE actually
said he was not certain, but that he
generally gave himself seven minutes
Think of it!'
Why" disgustedly commented Mr..
Hermitage, ''the record time from Ten
weeklybones cottage 10 the station when
Mr. Shakes lived there was only three
minutes and seventeen seconds"
Exactly" exclaimed Mr. Isolate with
enthusiasm. mo matter how muddy it
was he never took three minutes and
eighteen seconds at the longest. But
Tenweeklybones hasn't got his life at all
systematized He can't tell you off-hand
how lon or how short time it would
take him TO do any certain thing. You
may not believe it, Mr.. Isolate contin-
ued, lowering his voice to a confiden-
tial tone. but he has not got such a
thing as a stop watch in his house 1t
came out in our conversation. Just think
of a man living in the suburbs as long
as he has without stop watch. Why,
l simply could not get along without
mine"
Nor 1 without mine" responded Mr..
Hermitage, earnestly. But that Is the
way it goest" he growled. testify. City
people come out here 10 the glorious su-
xrbara dweII near q nature 6
heart, and they neglect the first princi-
pIes of correct suburban life They
don't buy stop watches and time them
selves to a fraction OF a second at break
fast dressing and running TO the sta
ton, and what is the consequence Why
they never know within minute or so
of how long ii win actually take them
to do certain things, and they are for
ever missing their trains and laying 1t
all UP against suburban life in general
instead Of TO their own stupidity, as
they should You tell them 10 get stop
watch and time themselves in these occu-
nations and they are inclined TO Tidicule
Won for your trouble. Why, I should as
soon think Of getting along without gal
vsnized iron pump for my cellar as 10
do without a good. reliable stop watch
have a clamp By which I fasten my
stop watch TO the handle Of my moving
machine II is so interesting % know
inst exactly how long it takes one 10
NOV ones lawn. have done mine in
fortv-ive minutes and thirty and six
oeenths seconds already
Gee whittiksrsi You stand good
chance OF winning the lawn moving con
test a. the next hTemsns picnic ]
have Anabel hold my stop watch and
time ne when | shave morning. The
best time have ever made is seven min
utes and fifty-nire and cne-tenth sec
onds That 7 made one morning WREN
Z oversight myself Ny average time at
breakfast now IS only six minutes and
seventeen seconds. since We have begun
'having predigested breakfssf food ~ our
house instead Of nins minutes and tao
seconds. as il always used - be 81. u 1
have eleven minutes before train tine
uhs, 7 sit down have lots - tine ard
can even pat On nv ovsrcost and gloves
!. nv leisure IL the hoEs@ after I get ~
rom the table. instead of on the rua -
he station. because 7 can sl~ays make
,ho hsIf mile 70 the railroad in TIRE" fzin-
utes ana ffty-fve seconds y the T4n-
,fnx Is not too muddy under foot
Ny record fcr the thres-foufthz ~
nile from our cottage u tie station is
SIX minutes ard hfsy-four and nins-
..1ths seconds interrupted NJ. Hermit
tae. proudly. "aainss seven minutes ara
ten seconds that 81 Used 70 take &T. Wet
cellar. whs lived there ctf0re -
WEI that Is the way y - have
-aticed that constant running foE our
,rafns Is making Is sUbgrha rifez Epcf'issr
az spee6ier on eur feet NJ -ecero n
he sctztioa Is neaTly tNo minutes sne7ttF
sbsn that 81 AT Easyg gErerts. no
nd n nv cottage Gve gears zEo a1d
frazu whom J bought 81
Bat say, Did you ever time yogr ~ife
~ vour stop watch ~nsa shs Wss dress
tnx 70 20 out with you = az eFcnlng
yes. c1ce,' exciais-sc Mr. Iso.ats H-ish
= s.sh-
How lo1g esd sns take
4 doz't krss- I gog sire1- &1c Ue-s 20
slesn--cSa c. coryess&