The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-10-03
BRIDES OBJECT
TO WORD LOBBY"
Many Salt Lake Girls Demand a
Change.
VIEWS ON SUBJECT DIVIDED
CLUB WOMEN AND MINISTERS
EXPRESS THEIR OPINIONS.

~ ANY Of The Young salt Lake brides
Nj in recent marriage ceremonies
celebrated in this city have SCI
riously objected to the repetition of the
word obey which is stil preserved in
the rituals of q few denominations. In
deed, so far has their repugnance TO
this term been carried that they have
In great number of instances request
ed the officiating minister To omit IL
altogether and where this has been ALL
lowed by fire rules Of the church the
request has been compiled with. The
reasons given by these young women
for their actions are that the term used
IN that capacity has become obsolete.
+ actually if not theoretically. and that
in the compleXity Of modern life where
woman takes her place beside man as
an equal, If not often as q superior, IL
is simply an idle farce TO make her re-
peat before the altar an oath which she
never has the least idea la her heart OF
obeying. and which might just as wei
be wholly eliminated, and il can mean
nothing either to her or 90 the man.
They contend further in opposition to
those who still remain Steadfast 20 the
old theory or idea. chat it is but % relic
of barbarism, of that time when a
mans Wife was even lower than his
vassal. when woman did rot enter into
the actual life Of the world and took no
part in its counsels or activities except
as an adjunct to her lord ana masters
pleasure. Neither should OBEY and
neither should be subservient 10 the
other. say the brides with the new idea.
but d perfect agreement Of hearts
should promote friendly discussion so
that here and there as they journey
along life together one should aid and
advise the other. and as the one does
find the ether better fitted to advise him
or her, as the case may be, he should
submit 20 her and her judgment and
she 10 his wider experience. In such a
/ case. say the foes Of the word obey
( If the union be based upon anything
mOIe lasting than the mere attraction
( OF sex. or upon more permanent
structure than monetary consideration,
/ the strength Of each Will manifest itself
and the true dominance-that dOmin-
( ance alone which can be felt and not
I be burden-wiu assert itself and
then the ideal state Will have been
/ reached.
Views on Other Side.
On the other hand there are those
7 who hold an Opposites opinion. and
while they would not contest the
claims of those who so ardenuy sup
port the advance of womanl1ind- stil
I they maintain that man is the natural
( lord of the universe, that while women
should in truth obey him this idea
/ should not be carried 70 the extreme.
I that Their; are shades of emaninE
(which must be preserved. and where
I the bride promises to obey she does
I not promise to be a slave. They aver
/ that since man naturally has wider
/ field of activity and q larger range Of
/ experience. he is better equipped TO rule
and should be obeyed.
Opinions Are Divided
The opinions upon this subject of
J leading club women and ministers are
divided. The expressions of club women
are given below:
Mrs. John MCNicker-I most certain
I ly think that the word obey should be
omitted from an marriage ceremonies.
\ il is simply a relic OF bs rparism, dat
/ ing back to the time when women were
mans Chattcls.
] Mrs. William C. Jennings. former
president OF the state Federation OF
/ Womans Clubs think the marriage
I service as it exists today is far too
/ beautiful to be changed even in that
! slight degree. Indeed according to my
/ idea il must Of necessity remain since
: it has a legal significance which is not
I often taken into account I'm many
states laws hold WhicIl i'm reality ac-
/ knowledge this, for instance. some
I states forbid wife from claiming her
/ residence elsewhere than where her
husband dictates. A violation of this
/ provision constitutes desertiOn.
I Mrs. w A. Nclden-rhc word obey
/ seems to me to have an entirely differ
/ ent significance in the marriage cere-
mOny than il has in the ordinary ac-
! ceptance Of the term Tt does not mean
-rrr r.n-e Tfe.nar.
parent. but rather the simple yielding
/ of one less experienced in the things OF
/ life to one of wider knowledge This
/ latter is usually enjoyed by the hus-
\ band. Intelligent men do not desire
4 that women should obey them i'm the
/ obnoxious sense.
4 Mrs. +. D. Bickford. President Of the
/ Ladies Literary club really thought
1 that the word had been dropped from
/ the wedding service for a long while.
/ Certainly I haven't heard it at any of
/ the weddings which I have attended i'm
I years.
Mrs. Kinney For Harmony.
Mrs. C.. S. Kinney, President Of
/ the Utah Federation Of Womans
/ Cubs think there should be
/ should secure perfect harmony without
\ the use of shat one technical word at
! the time Of the marriage. They didn't
I have the word when I was married
! and that is why, you. know, I can't see
! the necessity for it.
( Mrs c. Z. Allen-PersonaIly. don't
: uphold the use OF the word obey,
/ neither do I object to it. Now that I
/ think of the matter perhaps it could
! be Just as wei left out. And yet 81
really seems immaterial.
Mrs. G. =. Coulter Retiring President
Of the Utah Federation Of Woman s
( Clubs-They didn't use obey when ]
was married. and DIT. coulter and I
| have gotten along beautifully without
it.
Mrs. G.. ID. Moore promised TO obey
and believe all women should. Tt is
the natural prerogatve of man to rule
in the larger interests of the household.
it is the older way and. I'm my opinion.
the best. Too much change has been
advocated I'm an things lately. We
can't do better than 80 slowly.
Views Of the Clergy.
The views of some of the city Clergy
upon the subject are as follows
j President Joseph r. smith OF the
Mormon church-The word Is omitted
/ from our ceremony Tt is entirely con-
/ trary TO the spirit and genius of our
| faith.
Rev. Dennis Kelly. vicar general of
the Catholic diocese Of salt Lake-IVe
still have the word i'm our ceremony.
! We believe it 70 be according 70 the
/ commands of Christ for as ST. Paul
says. Let women be subject to their
husbands and 70 the Lord for the hus-
band is the head of the wife as Christ