Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-02-07
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Tor lawyers TO break it.-Boston Trans
cript.
lis better to have loved and re-
eeived alimony than never to have
loved at all.-Life.
inexpensive fight: Il think l shall
20 to Europe" "How can you afford
to so to Europe?" Il can't. but l can
lfford TO think. "-Brooklyn Life
Mr. Newlywed-You salads amt
ike my mother used to make. Mrs.
Newlywed-Wep your salary amt like
my father used to make-Judge
Alice-What makes you think he has
been in love before? Edith-The pro-
posal he made to me was entirely ex-
.emporaneous.-phi Ledger.
A cool receptions: Did you notice?
thave new electric fan in my office"
oh, yes; | got wind of it the minute
opened the door. "-Philadelphia Even
ng Bulletin.
THAT mob scene was handled with
splendid effect" said the critic "Oh.
yes replied the manager; you see,
we hire the villains creditors to so on
in that scene."-Ex.
That's good counsel the new
preacher gave us" said the deacon
Which is:" Love yer neighbor while
he sleeps, but watch him while he
wakes. Atlanta Constitution.
Il had good Job on hand last
nigh" said the first burglar. but |
was slipped by an open-faced watch"
Get outr Fact; it was bulldog in
the yard, Philadelphia Record.
Edltor-You haven't mentioned the
hrldegroom's name in this wedding
story of yours. Reporter-Oh! yes, |
have. I've got him down among
those present. Chicago American.
Mrs. Bloggs-Wot's candles gone up
for, Mr. Binns? Mr. Binns-The war,
Mrs. Bloggs. Mrs, Bloggs-Oh!
didn't know them poor soldiers had
TO fight by c-light-Moonshlnc
A building propositions Cholly-- Why
so quiet, Miss Grace? Grace Qightlyl
oh. | was building castles in the air.
Cholly--What dill you use for a corner
stone? Grace--A solitairc.-Town Top
les.
Gayman-So you don't believe me,
ch? | suppose you believe that men
are deceivers ever" Mrs. Gayman--
Not at ALL Sometimes they only think
they are dangerous. Philadelphia
Press.
Spoiled his boast: Stout gent--WelI,
sir, I'm self-made man | began life
as barefooted boy Thin gent--Well,
ms far as | can make out / wasn'e
born with shoes on. eithcr.-Moon.
shine.
Hopeful Hawkins-De Teddy mex
door gveme some angel cake. Couldn't
you help me a little? Mrs. Stonehcart
Sure. The doctor lives at the second
door three blocks down, Chicago
Daily News
My wife was nearly scared to death
last night" said links. Just before
going to bed we discovered fire in the
house Lucky man"' exclaimed
jerks. an the cook stove or the heat
u : -lhtlibAi'tIlbllS sun.
He--You women are forever discuss
ing the bad points of your neighbors
If You were to gossip about their good
points 1t would be more edifying. She
Perhaps 50. but who would listen to
u.s. Philadelphia Press.
THAT was a stirring. moving drama
ut the thcater last night" PILOT ex-
ccptionally strong, / presumeT' II
didn't say anything about the plot
was referring to the activity of the
audience between acts Baltimore
News.
They had a hard time killing that
bad elephant In New York didn't
they? Hung poisoned and finally cleo
trocuted her" What n waste of time
and materials Why didn't they put
her in front of racing automobilc?"
Cincinnati Tribuneg
Those professors: First College Pro-
fessor-What are you going to do next
to get your name in the papers? Sec
ond College Professor was thinking
Of declaring that the dictionary is too
wordy 10 be considered good litera-
Baltimore American.
If / stand on my head, the blood
all rushes to my head doesn't itf' No
one ventured to contradict him. "Now,'
he continued, triumphantly, when 1
stand on my feet, why doesn't tho
blood all rush to my feetY Because"
replied Hostetter McGlnnls, your feet
are not ty"-Tit Bits.
Tile Literary Edltor-That fellow
Scribbler sent in poem this morning
entitled why DO | LiveT The Ed.
tor-What did you do with it? The
Literary Edtor-Returned it with an
inclosed slip, saying: Because you
mailed this instead Of bringing It per-
sonally indianapolis News.
A hopeless reformer: 1T is sad to
see this mercenary spirit so ilagrant.
ly manifested in politics." said the
earnest citizen. Yes" answered
Senator SORGHUM stI ho,,o r,.