davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

A New Jersey justice Of the peace
has decided that there is no law to
keep a woman from talking in her own
home. Now will the man of the house
ever be able to get another word in
edgeWays?
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

John L. Sullivan says that he has
spent a million dollars in his lifetime
and doesn't regret a cent of it. And
vet some of 1t has been spent in a
way that the next morning usually
brings r. E. Morse.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

And now it is asserted that the
plumbers have formed trust. This
is the first time the public has sus-
pected that the plumbers did not al
ready possess the earth and the full
ness thereof.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

The statement is cabled that King
Leopold's assailant is to be prose-
cuted on two counts. A considerable
weight Of public opinion would be in
favor of making one of the counts
that he is such a bad shot.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

The superior Boston Herald permits
itself a sheer at western Ideals.
Well, anyway, those ideals reach high
or than well-flled platter OF we'll
baked beans.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

A Brooklyn man, after the death
of his second wife, has just gone back
and married the first, from whom he
was divorced. Sometimes experience
makes the heart grow fonder.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

Don't go to sleep with the gas
turned down to tiny flame. If the
pressure is reduced, as it often is, the
gas is likely to go out, and you may
not wake up again.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

DR.. Lorenz has cured case of "wry
neck" Not even the Austrian special
list, however, can cure the rubber
neck"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

The North Carolina minister who
has just died, with record of having
married more than 200 clipping
couples, made lot Of happiness or
lot of misery, whichever way you look
at 1t.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

Looking at the record for the past
few years it is discovered that King
Edward is the only man who has re-
covered from a disease requiring the
services of three or more physicians.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

France is going to substitute the au-
tomobile for the locomotive on the
railways. The change is warranted
by the respectable fatality record OF
the horseless machines.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

The man who doesn't believe in hid
ing his light under bushel usually
feels that bushel isn't large enough
to hide it.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

Those who are financially able to
follow the fashions are advised that
owing to high prices pursestrings
should be worn loose this winter.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

In addition to furnishing most OF the
armor plate used by other nations,
America keeps the world well supplied
with corsets.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

Perhaps it is unnecessary to men
ton it, but experience has shown that
it is easier to keep cider sweet than
1t is to keep sweet cider.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

then set them free. The Venezuelan
insurgents are increasing in numbers
and the revolt against Castro is gain.
Jig strength.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

1t will be pretty hard to get peo'
pie who like buckwheat cakes and
sausage to take up the no-breakfast
fad.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

The bears that kept out Of range OF
President Roosevelt's rifle have much
to be thankful for, even if they don't
know it.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

Sinking the Venezuela toy navy
promises to live in history side by side
with the bombardment which Killed
the mule at MatanZas.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

After all, that Venezuelan affair
can't amount to much. Neither Kip
ling. Richard Harding Davis nor
James Creelman has gone down there.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

Roland Molineux is said to be writ
ing a book. When man begins to go
wrong there seems to be no escape
from the pen.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

behalf of one of it's subjects where the
courts of the country are open to his
application for justice.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02
King Leopold is about due for an
other scandal of some kind.

There Is new counterfeit bill out,
hut many of us are not worrying at
ali about it.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

King Edward is much inclined to
take off his coat and show the boys
how to run an empire.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

The Mad Mullah was assassinated
while he was kneeling in prayer. An
other boost for the atheists.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

Spain is trying to buy more war.
ships. Spain must have money to
burn and blow up.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-01-02

The boy who never cared to shovel
snow didn't grow up and become a
trust magnate.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07

dull gold and corner designs Of inter-
twining asps or lizards in shaded
metal and with fine emerald stueddcd
heads.
Devices of lizard skin are fitted up
with real silver mountings and set of
with topaz or sapphire unobtrusive-
ly introduced. The lizard skins are Of
ten used in their natural hues, but
again are dyed black or dark brown
for more practical purposes. In all
cases they are beautifully marked and
shaded. The coloring Of beetles and
Of the chameleon are initiated in larger
skins and utilized for very handsome
cases for necklaces and caskets for
hair ornaments.
A casket or porte-monnaie made OF
American buffalo skin costs a consid-
erable sum and will grow higher priced
each year as the buffalo becomes scar
Ger. The expert leather workers now
take the skin Of the ordinary Texas
steer and convert it into leather so rich
and durable that many costly access
sories are made Of 1t, the name Of the
skin from which the article was made
is stamped upon nearly all leather
goods made in the fine jewellery estab-
lishments.-New York Sun.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07
TO BE CONTINUED.
The Forest of Fontaine ebleau.


"We spent the night In Barbizon,
paid a goodly bill and set off In the
company Of our English friends for the
town of Fontainebleau. lying at the
center of SO square miles of forest"
writes q girl from Paris to The Ladies'
Home Journal. 1T Is never wild. never
mysterious, this forest that thousands
of artists have loved to paint, but 1t is
calm and grand and never tedious.
For eight hours we wandered over
plains covered with towering oaks,
among rocky gorges. out Of which slen'
der. graceful beeches rise, and through
miles Of fragrant. giant pines. And
everywhere are feathery ferns and
purple heather.
"There Is not the slightest chance OF
losing ones way. Every square Inch
of the forest has been mapped out, and
at the intersection Of every two ave-
nues red hand points to the town,
and a blue hand indicates the direc-
ton of one of the sights And Fon-
tainebleu? We saw only the palace, a
bewildering maze Of magnificent
rooms. Everywhere there was rich
ness, everywhere wonderful frescoes,
wonderful stairways, wonderful tapes
try, wonderful inlaid furniture. The
grandeur Is oppressive, and we were
glad to get out into the park. to wan
der about In the different courts"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07
JEWEL CASES OF SKIN.
Sharks, Sea Lions, Snakes and Buff
faloes Contribute to Them.

Sharks, Sea Lions, Snakes and Buff
faloes Contribute to Them.
Exquisite jewel boxes and porte
monnaie are made Of sharkskin that
has been bleached to extraordinary
whiteness and glistens like flint or
granite on which the sun is shining.
Only lately have the artist craftsmen
discovered the secret Of doing this,
and therefore these articles come high
A jewel box Of the rich white sub
stance will have cover and sides in
laid with the scales of the bone pike,
the Florida fish which supplies ma
terial preferred for inlaying to mother
of-pearl. The bone pixies scales bear
quaint markings, not unlike Chinese
characters. They are put on in over
laping sections and, being pale brown
and lustreless, are an interesting foil
to the highly polished sharkskin.
Fashion demands jewel holders Of
light, cheerful hue, so many skins are
being experimental with to produce
light pearl or cream-tinted feathers Of
requisite strength and quality. The
sea lions skin Is used for costly arti-
cles and gold-bound curio-caskets. All
the tanning, rubbing and polishing ever
resorted to fail to obliterate those Curl
Gus, wavy lines on the surface Of the
sea lions skin, caused by the animars
wiggling round over the ice. Hence it
is stamped forever with an intrinsic
decoration. However new the article,
it always presents the aspect Of an an
tique because Of these odd markings.
And the distinction makes 1t sought
after.
Other jewel cases and beautiful ap-
purtenances in leather ware are de-
rived from snakeskin, alum cured, a
material 80 difficult to get in right con-
dition that the manufacturers guard
it jealously in locked compartments.
The same snakeskin, cured with a
preparation of bark instead Of alum,
makes another variety Of material, the
one smooth and glossy, the other lus-
treless. Java snakes from sixteen to
twenty feet long contribute skins of
this sort. The alum-cured skins have
unique, mottled appearance that
makes up charmingly with borders OF
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07
A IfPracticaIn Joke,

An Irishman took a contract to dig
q public we'll. When he had dug about
Is feet down. he came one morning
and found 1t caved in-f1lled nearly to
the top.
Pat looked cautiously round and saw
that no one was near, then took off his
hat and coat and hung them on the
windlass, crawled into some bushes
and waited events. In a short time
the citizens discovered that the well
had caved In. and, seeing Pats hat and
coat on the windlass, they supposed he
was at the bottom Of the excavation.
Only q few hours Of brisk digging
cleared the loose earth from the well.
Just as the eager citizens had reached
the bottom and were wondering where
the body was Pat came walking out Of
the bushes and good naturedly thanked
them for relieving him Of sorry job.
Some Of the tired diggers were dis
gusted. but the joke was too good to
allow of anything more than hearty
laugh. which soon followed.-London
Answers.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07
Tho Eskimo's Liver.

Does every one know In what notable
physical particulars the Eskimos who
live in the far north differ from us tenn.
perate zone people? 1t will be remem-
bered that half a dozen or more Eski'
mos came to New York from the arctic
zone with one of Lieutenant Peary's
homing parties. Most Of them died
presently of pneumonia, to the dis
tress and somewhat to the indignation
of the public: OF several of them care
full autopsias were made and, not q
little to the excitement of our medical
world. it was discovered that the Eski-
mo intestine was about four feet short.
er than ours Is, and that his liver was
not shaped like what we have been
used to call O human liver, but was
more like that Of dog. The Eskimo,
apparently. is SO constructed that be
can live and thrive under such condi'
tions and on such diet as he can com.
mand at home.-Harper's Weekly.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07

DICTIONARY TRoUBLEs.-The follow
ing is an illustration of pronunciation
and spelling in the use Of wrong words
which have the same pronunciation,
which If properly read would sound all
right:
"a rite suite little buoy, the sun OF
CRATE kernal, with rough about ms
neck, hue up the rode as swift as en-
dear. After thyme he stopped at q
gnu house and wrung the belle. His
tow hurt him and he kneaded Wrest.
He was two tired to raze his rare paIe
face. A faint mown Of pane rows from
his lips. The Made who herd the oeile
was a bout to pair a pare, but she
threw It down and ran with awl her
mite, for fear her guessed wood not
weight. But when she saw the little
Won tiers stood in her eyes at the site.
EVE poor dier! Why do you lye here?
Are you dyeing?
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07

as long AZ possible. for while he was
studying me to no particular purpose !
was critically examining everything
for definite end
When finally left, ! had pretty
clear impression of most Of the articles
in the room. It was decorated and
furnished in true oriental style. Skins
and rugs were scattered over the floor;
teakwood cabinets and desks, loaded
down with miniature elephants OF the
same wood, were standing In corners
and in the middle of the Office; sandal
wood ornaments, peacock feathers
made into exquisite fans, Bagdad cur
tains and couches, Benares bronzes
and spears and shields were placed In
various hooks and corners to give the
effect Of an eastern scene. A red glow
from lamp suspended from the GEN.
ter of the ceiling must have added
greatly to the prettinass Of the room
at nighttime.
But in the midst of the oriental furni-
ture and bric-a-brac were many mod
ern articles, which gave an incongru.
Gus effect to the room. Grinning skulls
stood alongside of disentombed Egyp-
tian mummies; q stethoscope was lying
next to a spear head that must have
been welded by some Indian prince
Of long ago; medical books and imple-
ments were piled promiscuously upon
hand carved tabourets Of wonderful
workmanship. In short, the room was
q typical oriental scene, overlaid and
topped by the necessary articles OF q
modern practicing physician.
The whole effect was interesting
from one point Of view, but for me
there was little that 1 cared about. /
could discover nothing that would give
me clew to the Doctors mysterious
work. Furthermore, could not under
stand why so much care should be ex-
ercised In keeping intruders out or
why the servant was so insistent that
l should not enter his masters office.
But my failure to make any discovery
intensified rather than lessened my de-
sire to fathom the mystery which DR..
Squires had chosen to surround him.
self with, and as I rode homeward my
mind was busy planning some way Of
circumventing him and his oriental
slave.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07

THE BRAIN OF AN ANT.-Although an
ant Is a tiny creature, yet its brains
is even TIMER But although 1t Is nee,
essarily smaller than the ants head
which contains it, yet it is larger IN
proportion, according to the ants size,
than the brain of any known creature.
The best writer's upon ants-those who
have made the astonishing intelligence
Of these little insects special study
are obliged to admit that they dlspiay
reasoning ability, calculation, reflection
and good Judgment. Such qualities OF
brain show a more than ordinary in
stinct, and we are not surprised to hear
that the ants big brain carries out our
idea that he possesses higher intel
ligence than is shown by other work.
ers of his size.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07
DISAPPOINTING TWO GLASSES.
Level Headed si.ing Up Of the Dis
pensary System.

penRafy system.
The dispensary must be disappoint-
ing to two classes of its friends, those
who were deluded into approving ana
supporting it as a step in the direction
Of prohibition, and those who have seen
in 1t measure that would ultimately
relieve them Of the burden Of taxation,
or any appreciable proportion of their
taxes. This thought was suggested
upon learning recently that the sales
for the Kershaw dispensary alone
amounted last year to the enormous
sum of $20,55S. These figures afford IN
teresting study. In the first place the
proceeding year was one OF the most
trying on crops in our recollection, ana
as a consequence the people were less
able last year than usual to squander
money. These figures, deducting the
IS days the dispensary was closed
last year, represent average daily sales
to the amount of $s5. This amount II
expended in the employment OF teach
ers for our schools would have paid the
salary of forty-five at $50 per month
for nine months, or fifty-seven at $40
per month for the same term. 1t would
have paid the salaries Of thirty -four
ministers of the gospel at an annual
salary Of $500 each, but when we con-
slider that the average salary Of minis
ters is only about 5000, 1t would have
paid sixty-eight at the latter figure.
But all Of it was wasted and worse
than wasted while the schools had 10
be closed because Of an insufflciency OF,
funds to maintain them, and doubtless
many preachers failed to receive their
salaries in full. OF course, lot OF
suffering must have been occasioned by
such a waste of funds in such year
as last. The sales Of the Lancaster dis
pensary are largely in excess OF Her-
shaw and when the two are combined
they would represent figures something
like s5O,OOO a year for the county, and
vet we continue to hear the cry Of hard
Era.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07

had approached the house without at
tracing his attention.
He refused to open the door more
than foot and stood there making
cultural sound as If trying to ask my
errand.
81 have a message for DR.. Squires,"
! said.
He stuck out long, bony hand as II
to take the letter which he supposed l
had. At least he could hear and was
familiar with the English language. /
also believe that he could speak and
that his dumbness was merely pretend
ed. But there is no way to make a
man speak If he doesn't want to, or at
least not under ordinary circumstances,
in u civilized country.
lit is not a letter." added as he
held out his hand for some time. Il
have a message to deliver-a verbal
message"
He shook his head and withdrew his
hand.
LET me in, and tell the doctor l
want to see him."
Again he shook his head and made
an inarticulate cultural sound.
was getting impatient at the delay
and the mans stubbornness. Placing
foot in the crack Of the door, held
it so that he could not slam it In my
face.
II tell you l have message from
Mr.. Goddard, and must see the doc
tor" said in decided tones. "Win
YOU let me in or must I force myself
in?"
could see that the man was in a
uuandary. He wanted me to stand
outside while he went and told the
doctor. but | had no intention Of re-
firing. He motioned for me to remove
my foot. but answered him blandly:
"Not until see DR.. Squires. You
may as well 80 first as last and tell
him that Mr.. Goddard has sent mes
senger to see him."
Gradually the wrathful. beady eyes
shifted from me to a seat in the hall.
He was evidently celebrating upon
the best step to take. and ] could see
the line of his reasoning.
"Let me stand in the hall until you
go and call him." said, "or | will take
that seat there and wait. = 49,
This time my proposition was &C.
cepted. The man shook his head af-
6rmatively. pointed to the chair and
then cautiously opened the door. l
stepped in and made move to take
the seat, but had no intention Of stay.
ing In the hall after once gaining an
entrance. When the man turned his
back upon me, l quietly followed him
to the Doctors Office. He made some
signs to somebody In the room, and l
heard the gruff words Of the doctor
ask:
"Who Is it that Charles has sent?"
l stepped to the doorway and replied:
T'm his butler, but this copper col
ored servant of yours refused to ad-
NIT me. 1 had to force myself in"
The servant started around as II to
clutch me by the throat, and the doc
tor smothered an exclamation that
sounded very much like an oath.
what business have you to force
yourself into anybody's house" he de-
manded in a rough voice.
"None whatever except that l had a
message for you, and this Indian
wouldn't let me in." answered quick.
ly.
"Well. it's his business to keep stran-
gers out. Those are my instructions"
"Then he was right, and / was
wrong" I said. "and If that's the case
I'll withdraw"
I turned my back on the two and
started for the door, but the words OF
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07
BIRMINGHAM PICTURES.
They Were Mere Paper, But They
Subdued the Artist Turner.

Subdued the Artlst turner.
Turner, the great landscape painter,
was a curious mixture Of parsimony
and generosity, determined money
grubbing and unreckoning devotion to
his art. He would drive hard bar
gain one day and the next refuse to
sell at any price. Intending purchas-
ers were sometimes excluded from his
gallery, and the refusal Of admission
was communicated in anything but a
polite manner.
Mr. elliott, the wealthy pen manu-
facturer, of Birmingham, once proved
himself equal to the task Of storming
the castle in the teeth Of the gruf art
list and his doorkeeper and achieving
a bargain. A book on Turner gives
the story.
Mr.. elliott was met at the door Of
Turner's house by an old woman, who
opened the door and asked the gentle
mans business.
Cant let e in!" she snapped out,
when he told her, and tried to slam the
door.
But Mr.. elliott had put his foot in
side the door and without waiting for
permission pushed past the enraged
janitress and hurried upstairs to the
gallery. Turner met him like spider
whose web has been invaded. The in
truder introduced himself and said
that he had come to buy.
Don't want to SELL" was the an
swer.
Have you seen our Birmingham pic
lures, Mr.. Turner" inquired the visit
or, as calmly as II he had been receiy-
ed as a gentleman should be.
Never heard Of EN-" said Turner.
Mr.. elliott took from his pocket some
Birmingham bank notes.
Mere paper" remarked Turner, who
evidently enjoyed the joke.
ITO be bartered for mere canvas.
said the visitor, waving his hand to In
dicate the paintings on the wall. His
tone-perhaps also the sight Of the
mere paper''-conquered Turner, ana
when the visitor departed he had bar
gained for several valuable pictures.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07
Water.

The body needs internal as well rs
external baths to keep 1t healthy. To
give the body an internal bath drink
plenty Of water Two quarts should
be taken each day. beginning with :.
glass lust after rising and ending with
q glass just before retiring. If you
are inclined to stoutness, do not drink
during meals or within balf hour be-
fore or after them. If your complexion
is bad, nothing is more conducive to a
cure than drinking water either hot or
cold, but preferably the latter.-New
York Press.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07

SCli tUtO "bUbOo6 o So~oS'
the doctor called me back. He had
perfectly recovered himself and real
lied that he was making too much
fuss with q servant over trivial mat
ter.
"Come. come. don't get huffy,". ne
said pleasantly. Your sudden entrance
annoyed me, that's all. What is the
message that your master sends"
He looked at me through pair OF
eyeglasses. his dark, searching eyes
taking in every part Of me, and FOR
the first time in my life l felt uncom-
Portable under close scrutiny.
LET ME see. You are the man VINO
spilled the salad dressing over me,
aren't'you?"
He laughed heartily, as If the incl
dent amused him.
"Well, we'll, this Is the second time
you have given me offense." he added
finally. LOOK. out for the third time.
I might not let you off so easily"
! made the delivery Of the message
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-03-07
PROFESSIONAL
BRETHREN,
By George e. Walsh.
CHAPTER VIII.

Copyright 1902, by F. M. Buckles & Co.. New YORK