davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1903-08-02
ENTERTAINING DISCUSSION THE MARVELLOUS MYSTERIES OF FAkRDON

behind the mask of difhdent anonymity
the writer a this article remarks TO his readers
that they have often talked with him, as
chance acquaintance on train or steamer IL -
probable he, and scores OF men OF whose class
he Is conspicuOusly the type, have sought TO
force acquaintance 9TH these very readers
upon some CITY streets-NeE York OF Baltimore,
Chicago or san Francisco according 10 their
progress in an itinerary Of which the only
guides were the credulity Of the Populace snG
the connplaisance Of the police. The Faklrs
narrative, les edifying than instructive, IS
less instructive with regard 20 his adventures
than with regard TO the tone Of municipal
police forces. The methods Of Fakirdom so
often the line OF bald sWindling and, at
times. Of larceny, that the responsibility for
its suppression by city authorities has been
almost universally recognized. The manner
IN which the authorities Of the various large
cities, that are referred 70 in the course Of
the article. hold the candle TO the devil might
serve food for sober reflection on the part Of
those who hold and exercise the right Of fran
ehise.-Editor independently
tn wO reasons and a train OF cir
cumstanees made me a fakir.
One reason was my lack of edu-
cation: the other. not very robust ply
sique I could not earn a good living
solely by the exercise Of my unframed
intelligence. and I could not hold po-
sition requiring physical strength. The
circumstances which led 10 my taking
up the life Of what I call an itinerant
merchant we're due 20 a series OF uncom-
mon reflections on my part, accenuu-
ated by my discharge from a not too
lucrative position as a collector 1or a
AS 1 walked home that Saturday night
l paused at a corner where man was
talking volubly TO a crowd OF people. II
his endeavors to sell them patent knife
sharpeners. ] noticed that he wore good
clothes: his person indicated prosperity
there was no sign of hard work apparent
in him. That night. after he had closeC
up his grip, ! followed him to the hote
where he was staying and managed Il
enter into conversation
When I left the hotel l was a takir
from him all the knife sharpeners ths'
S3-my available capital-would buy
bought ticket 10 a town twenty miles
distant, and, with him, launched nyseli
in the business which 1 have been fol
lowing for fifteen years.
Now. sonny" said my tutor, "thi.
towns open. You don't need any reader
license. All you have TO do is watcf
my grafton. Beat 1t If you can; and ther
paddle your own canoe"
We opened our tray on the main street
and vociferated until we drew a crowd
together. Soon I was making mental
notes OF his lies. and seeking TO improve
on them, as rival department stores dc
In their advertisements. The sharpensrs
cost me three cents apiece; all were sold
IN that one town. for twenty-five cents
The Washington times., 1903-08-02

IIH ERRIGE, kerrige, keb, keb,
X keb. sir. keb."
This is the cry with which
the man in the park phaeton is pelting
the young couple on the pavement as
they walk down Pennsylvania Avenue.
while from the top of his bansom a
cabby shouts his cry of "keb.' The
driver OF the park phaeton is a short,
thick-set man. and there is such a
merry. fascinating, knowing twinkle in
his eye that the young couple are
wheedled into entering his carriage in
spite of themselves He seems to
say: I'm next. young uns. en- see
de rice a-stickin' out all over you"
The young couple, the bride blushing
and the long, angular groom as awkward
as though ne had no joints at
all. mount the park phaeton, the
driver hits his nag on sore
spot on her neck and of they
go on a tour of the city of Wash
ington. That this driver has vivid
imagination is proved from the fact
that he readily consents to act as g
guide to the city even though he has
never done so before. He draws VI
alongside the Postofice Department
Building and casts anchor.
yVall
that's used to be Beavers winder. Hi:
office used to be behind it. Nav. that:
not a fre-escrape; it's a special sekre
passage that Beavers had put up there
so he could clear out the back way il
case they came after him too fast anC
too hot. Over here is Postmaster Gen
eral Payne's ONCE winder. Behind tina
winder the School fer Scandal il
played every day, With Wednesday ant
Saturday matinees. 1 unnerstan a.
how Mr.. Payne is a great fav'rite will
the matinee girls now. and has larg
offers from theatrical managers in New
York to be leadin' man, but, of course
you cant believe all you hear or rea'
in the newspapers"
as that so?" This from the groom
who is preoccupied with the bride.
Now, this is Pennsylvania Avenue,
says the cabby as the park phaetol
turns into the magnificent thorough
fare, which Is so sull and. commonplace
TO the washingtonian- Il meself con
slider II one o the finest streets in tn
worl'. Though me friend Tomsky. the o.
clio man, says it can't compare for
The Washington times., 1903-08-02

fare for two days. and If I don't get
you there you en- have the boss and
keb. With that. Ben commenced to
prod his horse like a section hand
tampin' the track. They went fyin
down the Avenoo. Ben's boss eatin' whip
and the little Teller leanin' out of the
winder and begin him to go faster
"Ben's fix was pretty considerable
weak at that time. and with the joItin'
and jumDin' about inside a plank feI,
out just as they crossed Seventh Street.
Hold on tight, says Ben Low. AN I'll
git we there on time So he belabored
that horse and down the Avenoo they
went lickety- split At Four an a half
Street they dropped two boards out OF
the bottom. and by the time they reach
ed Third Street the little Teller had to
curl up on the seat and let his feet hang.
wasn't there at the time. but they said
he wore a pair of speckled spats. gait
ers. you know; ard the sight of them
spats hanging under the body OF the
hack was enough to make you die a
lauGhn'
81 Had to Hurry Little, But"
The little man commenced to boiler
and yell to Ben to let him out when
they'd lost the floorin' but Ben never
stopped. He thought that the man want
ed him to go faster, and he did. On they
went. and just as they passed Second
Street. the whole bottom of the hack
fell out. and the little man had to give
up the seat. He was afraid to jump. and
so held on 10 the arm straps and ran.
'On they went. Ben lashin' his horse
and the little mans spats twlnklin' un-
der the body OF the hack an his bald
head-he had lost his hat-a bobbin' W
and down inside. He yelled like mad
that little man did; so they tell me. al
any rate. for 1 wasn't there. The people
On the streets. they hollered and fell
down with laughin'. Ben had TO take
Capitol Hill bit slow. but he drew W
TO the east front just in time. The lit
tie mans Congressman was just coming
down the steps Ben reached in TO his
hack without a word and hauled him
out
Well" said Ben-he was alluz :
The Washington times., 1903-08-02
minnit with the Okkovinsky Prospekt
which is the finest street in all Russia -
Uncle SamuePS Wallet.

minnit with the Okkovinsky Prospekt,
which is the finest street in all Russia. 4"
Uncle SamuePs Wallet.
'Is that the Treasury" says the
bride
ITO be sure, the Treasury it is. I'm
Gle Sans pocketbook I call it." says the
cabby. cooking his brown bowler at a
more jaunty angle.
rs that so?" This from the groom
Yes, siri It's stone pocketbook and
it's mighty hard to open it, but / know
several of me friends what has gimlet
holes in it. an is rapidly enlarging EN-
to auger holes
"Oh, Billy" whispers the bride. Il
don't think this is a good guide. He
don't stick to facts. Haven't you noticed
it?"
That's true" says the groom: Tets
see if We can't make him sit up straight
and tell US more. Ummm What's this
building here, cabby The White
House,"
NO" said the cabby, with overy ex-
hibition of scorn. That's Riggs Bank
that is. That isn't a buildin', neither;
it's edifice."
| The White House.
/ This is the White House Well drive
| through the grounds a bit" Whereupon
the guide hits his horse a sounding
"whack" and sweeps up the avenue at a
hand gallop, stopping short in great
style before the port-cochere. The fat
policeman on duty before the great porch
chuckles internally at the sight and the
merriment of the policeman at the door
itself has to be hidden behind his gloved
hand.
Yes. ma am. This is the White House
i 1t was built by President James Quincy
| Adams in 1886 AM
| Why interrupted the bride, 81
| thought General Jackson was President
in those days"
| well, ma am, you mussent believe al
you read in the books and newspapers. Il
the people what writes 'em would oEy
go round and see the things they ar,
writin' about before they made up their
books and newspapers, il would be
great deal better fer you n me. You
The Washington times., 1903-08-02

never saw General Jackson now, did you
No. | thought as how you did mt. Well.
you see, my grandfather did and so that
gives me some advantage over you, you
see I've tried to conterdict that there
rumor bout jackson buildin the White
House. but TO save me l can't, So
but Jackson didn't build the White
House." interrupts the bride, He was
President in 1886 and you said he
wasn't"
sMa'am. ! give you my word that
didn't say Jackson until you did.
''OhI Let's consign Jackson and all
this business to THE region where the
worm never dieth. Drive on. cabby-
You know you are inventing history
here. / don't believe you know thing
about it. Drive on" The groom was
growing hot and fretty under the sly
significant chances passing and repass-
| ing between the fat policeman and the
hatless officer at the door. The merrl-
ment had not been lost on The cabby
| either Now was the hour Of his re-
venge.
A Wax-Work Policeman.
That, ladies and gentlemen, said he
pointing with his whip at the Cat police
man. who was near enough 20 have
caught the lash, that is wax figure
only a wax figure. 1 know what you'll
say. 1t looks like a man, wears cloth:
/ like a man, and, my grief. stands like
a man, but it's wax from head ter foot
They brought IL here from a wax woIl
on Pennsylvania Ayenoo. II We werent
/ in a hurry I'd get out and biff him one
/ Just to show that he is wax. nOthin
else. Notice that almost human look o.
/ intelligence in his eye. The man wha'
made him knew his biz. all right. Wen
| so long. wax-work-"
The willy cabby poked his nag on the
sore spot and cantered down the Avenue
like Marmion leaving the fat police
man speeches. with rage. An old lad
in a dusty black dress started back il
| alright at the cabby's words. As the
! bridal couple passed out the gate sh'
| was scurrying down the walk, ne ia
policeman striding after. trying TO ex
plain that he was alive and telling he
The Washington times., 1903-08-02

cool Teller WIZ Ben-'well, had to
hurry bit, but I got ye here on time
Pony up.
The cabby turned round to get his
word OF commendation, but the groom
said: rs that so?''
We'll. now see here. That's the
steenth time you've sprung that gag on
me an"
"Oh, dry up. cabby. It's splendid le-
gend and splendid lie Drive on
We'll, that's all right about the lie
part. If you wuz fatter man / wouldn t
take il. But bein' thin and just married.
too-why it amt in nature to think
you'd be just in your right mind" The
groom paid no heed-he was preoccu-
pied.
Legends of the Capitol.
What is that figure on the left of the
steps?"
That's a statue OF Paul Hines. the
great ball player. He is throwing that
ball over to G. Washington in the out
field there. Don't you see how George
has his fist in the air ready TO catch it?
The Congressman get here bout along
in December though it depends upon
how much pull they have when they
come Some of them are so powerful
that they needn't come at all; but. then.
you see. if they didn't they'd miss the
Jobs. they'd miss the jobs
How about the rules of the Senate,
cabby?"
We'll, / don't know anythin' about
them, but 1 know that before a Repre-
sentative can speak he must turn to-
wards the Senate and bow three times. -
This is the Capitol Library. I'm goin
to stick TO facts now. This buildin' cost
SO. 452. s97 .21-just-'
It's very strange about that 21
cents"
Not when you come to consider it.
You see that 81 cents was spent this
way On the last day of the buildin' a
colcred water boy fell of the top scat
foldin' and lit on his head. He was laid
up with a tremendous headache for TWO
days and was pretty sick. but he came
round all right and was workin' just
/ the same the third day after he'd fell.
The Washington times., 1903-08-02

The Capital City as Shown
Mr.. and Mrs. Newwed by a
"Cabby" With a Vivid I'm
agindtion and Unlimited
Nerve" Famous Ride Of
Ben Low and His Strange
Fare From the Middle of
the City to the Capitol.
The Washington times., 1903-08-02

ater, at Some Sporting g
room reading. l dress
how to conduct myself III
You have often talked
chance acquaintance
steamers. Usually your
been that / am very
with the United States
intelligently on natl
subjects.-The IndepeI
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-26

The Western Catholic Chautauqua
will open it's fourth and last week to-
morrow evening, the sessions TO pc
held up to Wednesday night, when the
closing lecture will be given. The
ChautauQua, now in its ninth year, and
known up to 1903 as the Catholic sum-
mer school, is an educational move
ment which has steadily gained ground,
and each succeeding year has widened
it's influence. 1t was held last year, Tor
the first time, in st. Paul, and the pop
ularity Of the Sanity City as con-
vention town was again atteSted TO IN
the Chautauqua being voted here for
second term. The Chautauqua. while
Western does not restrict it's interest
to the West. as it's register will show.
Nearly every state in the Union is rep
resented, and several students are at
tending from New York city. as well
as from Chicago and other large towns.
The Chautauqua has this year, how
ever, reached farther, perhaps, than
members M. A. Chreiman. of London,
England. Many prominent people
have attended the lectures, and,
among them Archbishop Ireland has
become a familiar figure.
The Chautauqua, apart from its edu-
cational aspect, has partaken some
what of social nature, and has been
Tile scene OF MANY Sdl
rage" gatherings It has. as well. af-
forded those attending not only the
benefits of the. lectures, but the pleas
ure of meeting the different speakers,
all of which has tended to give it
delightful air of informality and good
fellowship
The first session Monday will be in
the evening On account of the
requiem mass at the Cathedral in the
morning, no meeting of the Chautau-
qua will be held. as-the school will at
tend the services DR.. Moynihan's
third lecture on Evolution will be
given in the evening. and no disar-
rangement of the regular programme
will be caused by the change. each
lecture being merely postponed one
session. bringing the close of the
Chautauqua up to Wednesday even
ing, for which originally there was
nothing booked.
Tuesday mornings session will in
troduce Rev. E. P. Graham, of Akron,
Ohio, who will give a course of three
lectures, treating the subjects, "The
Soul" Government" and "Democra-
Cyl
The concluding lecture of the Chau-
tauqua will be given by Rev. P. Dan 4
ehy of Minneapolis. the president of
the school, and well known as one of
the most able and brilliant speakers
in the West. Father Danehy will
speak on 1.-THE Christian Citizen
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-26
POLITE YOUNG MAN
CARRIES HER CASH
Winona Girl Is victimized by a
Sharper to the Extent
of SIS.

Minnie Angels. a young woman OF
immature experience, from Winona,
yesterday fell into the hands of the
Philistines that congregate on Wash
ington avenue south, Minneapolis. and
lost SIS because of her trustfulness.
Miss Angels says that her brother,
who is a wiper in the Great Northern
roundhouse. was to meet her at the
depot in Minneapolis and conduct her
to a boarding house. The brother mis-
took the time of the trains arrival and
missed his sister, who. in the mean
time, had accepted the doubtful offices
of a good-looking young man. who said
he knew her brother well and would
take her to him.
In charge of her self appointed
guide, the young girl boarded an in
terurban car and was rather astonish-
ed when her carefully clad escort ask
ed her for money to pay the fare with.
She handed him SO bill. but he said
the conductor might object to changing
it, and asked for something smaller,
explaining that he had nothing less
than twenty himself. The girl then
handed out a S. bill, which the con-
ductor changed. The man, who called
himself Edwards, pocketed the change
and the $40 bill, explaining that he
had better take care of the money I'M
til Miss Angels found her brother, as
the interurban cars were full of pick
pockets and she might lose all she had.
When they arrived in st. Paul Ed
wards took Miss Angels to a hotel
parlor, on Wabasha street, and asked
her to wait for him there fifteen min
utes. while he went to fetch her
brother. He never came back. The
girl had only half a dollar left. and
she returned to Minneapolis, after ex-
planning her dilemma to patrolman.
Last night she obtained employment at
restaurant on First avenue south. M
]. Angels has consulted the police, and
an effort is being made to locate the
obliging Mr.. Edwards.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-26
WHO IS IOREPLAcE
WORTHLESS PAVING
IN BUSINESS PART
Condition of Fifth, Sixth, Sew
enth, Wabasha, ST. Peter
Robert and Jackson Makes
Question a Live Issue.

Downtown merchants and property
owners fronting on the asphalt streets
constructed several years ago by the
firm of Hennessey & Cox are worry
ing.
The streets. which are Seventh,
Sixth. Fifth, Wabasha. st. Peter. Rob-
ert and Jackson, are disintegrating
rotted asphalt within the next two
years.
Fund Nearly Exhausted.
What is worrying the property own
ers the most, however. is who will pay
the bill when all these streets have to
be repaved, which will be soon. TAX
ing warning from the numerous holes
and bad spots that were appearing in
the asphalt surface of the streets
named. the board of public works
year ago promptly descended on the re-
tanned money belonging to the firm
and made repairs. This year another
$4,000 of the amount was used, making
about $4,000 in all.
This retained money. however, is
about exhausted. and now the cues
ton arises, Who will pay the bill for
further repairs? The bonds given by
the firm. which were all personal sure
ties. have been practically construed as
no good. Two of the bondsmen have
u1ed ana dnOCner is 1nSOlFeHl
Threaten to Sue Bondsmen.
When the last bill was paid by the
city, threats of suing the bondsmen
were made, but nothing of that sort
has yet been attempted.
On several of the streets the surface
has almost entirely been replaced, but
there are others where the holes only
were cared for. Robert, Seventh and
Sixth are now showing up in bad
shape, and it is only a question of
few months before they will be as bad
as before.
The only way out of the difficulty
seems to be to renew the entire sur
face. and this the. board is reluctant to
do until it knows who will pay the cost.
AS far as possible, the city engineer is
repairing the holes as fast as they APP
pear. but in some instances the disin-
tegration is SO rapid that even this
does not suffice.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-26
CITY NEWS
STATE NAMES NEED
SPELLING REFORM
Messaba, Misabe, Mesaba, Me-
sabi Is a Conspicuous
"HorribIe Example,

Some of the state officers are con-
WINGED that means should be found to
establish standard photography for
geographical names of the state, for
they are greatly puzzled and annoyed,
and at times put to considerable trou-
BILE, by reason of the license taken in
spelling the names of some places.
This variety in spelling is due in
very many instances to the fact that
the names are taken from Indian
tongues or dialects, which have no
etymology and whose words exist only
in phonetic form. Thus the spelling of
those words is established purely upon
their sound, and there is broad scope
for difference of opinion as to the
proper expression of the sounds in
letters.
The name of the states great iron
range is one of the most conspicuous
examples of this, for it has been vari
ously spelled Messaba, Misabe, Mesaba
and in numerous other forms, all
amounting phonetically to the same
thing, and in articles of Incorporation
filed at the office of the secretary Of
state yesterday was set forth the en-
tirely new style of Mesabi. In cases of
this kind where it forms a portion of a
corporate name, the spelling is arbi-
trary and must be accepted by the
STATE OIncefS LOT the purpose OF lHelF
records just as it is offered to them,
but in most instances as they have an
option they are very much in doubt
In some cases difficulties of this kind
have in time righted themselves. For
example, the name Of Winona has also
been spelled Wenonah, and with as
much authority and correctness, but
long usage has arbitrarily established
the simpler form.
Names formed of two words cause
trouble also through the tendency of
some persons to telescope the two
words into one, and the disposition of
others to keep them distinct. In this
way there is still confusion in regard
to the spelling of some of the oldest
and otherwise simplest names in the
state, as Red Wing, or Redwing, as it
is variously used. On such points as
this there is no absolute authority,
and custom furnishes the only rule,
and when there is variance in custom
there is bound to be confusion. The
postal department has adopted the
general rule Of telescoping all names
of two words as far as possible, but
the residents of Red Wing will not
submit to such treatment of the name
of their town and invariably spell it
the other way.