Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-04-21
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Especial Washington letter.

-
chairman of the Democratic
committee. In the language of
Sir John Falstaff: Lord, Lord! How
this world is given to lying!'
The fact that Senator Fairbanks of
Indiana-if it be facts spending
his money in starting newspapers in
the south to promote his presidential
boom demonstrates that he is mere
tyro in capturing southern Republican
delegates. What they want is not
but cold cash. If the alt-
tudinous Hoosier senator will invest
a few dollars in John Sherman's book
and read what John has to say about
how General Russell A. Alger euchred
him out of his southern delegates, he
will be wiser, If sadder, man.
Southern Republican delegates come
high. Shortly after the Sherman-Alger.
Harrison convention of 1888 stranger
was visiting in Texas. In front of q
hotel he met colored brother who
was sporting an unusually handsome
gold watch and who informed the
stranger that he obtained his timepiece
at the Chicago convention. Were you
a delegate?" asked the stranger. mo,
sah," replied the colored patriot. II
was only an alternate. If had been
a delegate, would have owned this
hotel"
De gustibus non est disputanduln!
Senator Benjamin r. Tillman Of South
Carolina is Missed vigorously wherever
he lectures in the north. Yet he keeps
OH lecturing. He appears to be as great
glutton for Kisses as Jim Jeffries is
for physical humping.
The question, "The tiger or the
ladyy' bequeathed to the world by
Frank r. Stockton, has bothered the
minds of a great many people for {
great many moons, but it pales int
utter tnsignificance beside this one
Statesman or mountebank?" as ap
piled to Castro, president Of Venezuela
He is certainly the enigma of the hour
The late lamented Phineas T. Barnun
was not in it for one moment as al
advertiser, and so far as leading 6
strenuous life is concerned President
Roosevelts is fiat and stale when com
pared with the South Americans.
1.-THE early bird catches the worm
philosophy is certainly believed in by
the Republican mayor Of Indianapolis
Hon. G. A. Bookwalter. He is a can.
didate for reelection and ordered a
nomination convention for Saturday
March %, notwithstanding the fact
that the election does not take place
until Oct. 10. If Brother Bookwalte
will consult the Usage Of Wolfert'l
Roost" as to the policy or impolicy
wisdom or unwisdom, Of the early birt
convention, he may learn something t.
his advantage.
Free From "carpetbagger" Debt.
The Democrats Of Missouri recently
had grand blowout when the las
Republican state bond" was paid off
The carpetbaggers had possession O
Missouri only eight years, but mos
emphatically they made hay while TIL
sun was shining. Missouri was TIL
richest state that ever fell into thei
clutches, and they plundered her ut |
most amazing rate. She escaped iron
their iron grasp in 1871, and since thel
the Democrats have so wisely and eco
nomically administered her affairs tina
at last they have paid off the hug
debt bequeathed to them. Most of til
county and township debts have ais
been paid off-debts created by col
rupt Republican county courts. Mis-
souri, is now fit subject for congrat
ulation.
"Festina lente" eco slow') would b
q tiptop motto for those silly and ey'
minded persons who are incubating
plan to kidnap President Roosevelt
They are liable to find themselves i
the narrowing condition Of the adver
turous idiot that caught bear by til
tail and then yelled Justify for some
body to help him let loose. When th
president turns his strenuosity fu
blast upon them, they are liable t
pray for the mountains to fall upo
them-that is, If kidnapers ever pray
My advice to them is Puck's-"Don't
Wonder If Governor Richard Yate
of Illinois ever posters his head t
find out why there is so much talk {
Governor Cummins Of Iowa for vic
president and so little Of Governt
Yates? Illinois and Iowa lie alongsid
Of each other, and both are Republic
an states. Yates has been governc
twice as long as Cummins and is go'
ernor Of state with twice the populs
ton of Iowa. The reason lies chief
in the fact that Governor Cummin
has ideas Of his own, or, rather, q
idea, which he borrowed from til
Democrats-"the Iowa idea," so callet
Of tariff reduction.
Speak Low.
Judge David A. De Almond Of Mi,
souri, introduced resolution into til
house just before the adjournment c
congress looking to the annexation {
the North American British posses
sions. He probably did it because b
| fayors annexation, and for no othe
reason. He never dreamed that Il
was injuring the political prospects {
any living man; but, as matter {
fact, his resolution was the cause {
the undoing of Colonel John L. Bittil
ger Of st. Joseph, Mo-, consul gener,
to Montreal. He expressed himself Vii
orously and volubly in favor Of De A
mond's resolution and was prompt
bounced. Colonel Bittinger shout
have considered the unhappy end
the parrot that talked too much an
been warned thereby.
Admiral George Dewey also seen