The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-07-19


shadow of the Dragon Throne at PEEK
ing. by the condescension of the En-
press DOwager, these words, writer
from that city OF foreign devils named
New York, which hangs over the south
west corner of the world. May this
writing find his head still upon his
shoulders: IL not, may his worthy
burying place be suspicious and com
Portable.
Since coming with the august repre-
sentative of the Dragon Throne TO this
country, in which everything is done
backward, I have seen sights so re-
marISabIe that they must appear true
to you. for you will see that my poor
powers OF prevarication could never
equal the tales have to tell. II 1t was
the object Of our venerable parent
may whose income increase against the
hour of his death-to send me to this
land 10 learn strange things, he should
die happy on hearing these words.
Foreign-deviI civilization being now the
i. style in Picking. have done my best,
: in my short sojourn here. to imbibe as
much of IL as possible 1t comes. I
find. in bottles which explode like fire.
crackers, and leads to strange impress
sIons. 1 have received many. which 1
inscribe here for your benefit.
You will know that while the repre-
sentatives of the Dragon Throne pro-
ceeded to the city of Washington. where
the Emperor with the Awe-inspiring
Teeth administers government. 1 stay
ed for a short time in New York at
the invitation of a foreign devil gen.
tIeman Of this city, who was once in
Picking. The gods In heaven only know
what wonders the rest Of our people
have seen in Washington. but as for
me, in the language of this nation. New
York will hold me for the present.
In the first place. and in regard to
the religion OF these folk. there is a
great god OF this city whose name is
Business, and there are temples raised
to him everywhere, to such height
that one might easily recite 40 proverbs
OF Confucius while dropping from the
top of them to the bottom. To ascend
NO the top of them one enters devil
rage with a thousand invisible wings,
which leaps upward like the wind, so
that the entrails OF the unwary are left
at the bottom OF the shaft. In these
Buildings there are countless shrines
TO this god, which tick continually and
emit ribbons of sacred writing all day,
to The joy and SORROW OF deyotees. The
main temple OF the god is in great
building, full OF noise. There the man
darins of the city go daily to fight each
other and shout and tear up bits OF
paper The god, which is invisible, sits
above and, as his servants please him,
takes the wealth OF this one and gives
IL to that one.
The streets OF this city are very won
derfuI, and there are. in truth. men
paid to clean them. so that from their
cieanness they obtain a fearful and
foreign look. For my part, street
without smells Is like an egg without
salt There is no execution ground
where one may pass an agreeable aft |
ernoon, but machines swooping here
an there OF their own accord Judge
that II Is from the presence OF these !
machines that the people get their
great agility.
One may ride here in many manners
in yellow vehicles which rush about
propelled by no horse or man. but by
the breath OF the invisible winds Fire
breathing dragons also drag cars run [
OF men and women about this city, on
high bridges These foreign devils are
a hardy people, and while they are
hacked in these cars like river fish in
a Yangtze junk. until one could not in
sert the edge of a fantan card between
them, they reach their journeys end
still living, / may say. in nine cases
out OF ten. 1t is no wonder that we
were not able to persuade them OF the
futflity of life at Picking at time
which the Empress Dowager has well
forgotten
The thunder OF these fire-breathing
dragons overhead, and the rattle OF the
dfvineIy propelled vehicles and the
horse wagons on the ground. all striv-
ing to overturn one another and to de-
fame each others ancestors. is not all.
The very bowels of the earth yawn
open, and from them issue horrible
vapors and noise. These people Of New
York are evidently not satisfied with
leaving the next world to itself, but
must raise sky brushing towers to be
as familiar with heaven as possible,
and open the earth TO inspect the up
per crust OF hell at their leisure.
With the appearance Of these foreign
devils you are familiar to a great
extent, but we should remember that
the gods have probably given them
their faces and bodies for some
purpose beyond the minds Of men,
and should not laugh. Tell young See
Yup of Canton. who wagered me din
ner on the Fat Shan flower boats that
the foreign devils of this country had
blue and green hair on their faces,
that I can already t3ste his collation.
OF shark fms and birds nest soup
While there is every other color or
hair which may be woven in a mandar-
ms jacket. blue and green 1 have not
seen. although L have watched diligent-
" for IT, The women of this land are
made. They walk with
the stride OF a man, and as you
know. wear mems skirts, while the