davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-01

iown upon the six waiting applicants with great dignity, 'who have we here?' Whom you mean" Jennie corrected. twill the Entertainment Committee please mind it's own business?" Harold retorted The secretary thereupon called off the names.
 Judge Burton" began the president. 'Yes. sir" meekly answered the Judge. animation box
 The Judge did as he was requested and pulled out the following remarkable prob lem:
 THE JUDGES SLIP Prove that every Polar bear has eleven legs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-01

Just what wanted papa to get," chuck led Jennie
 Wait till put on my spectaeles, gasped the Judge, quite sure that he had not read the sentence correctly.
 Why, MT. President" he said, "this is ridiculous-perfeet rubbishl''
 Mir. Secretary, take down those remarks. Judge Burton, you must beware of contempt of the Circel''
 "I suppose that means fine of a box of candies" said Uncle Ralph.
 Yes rejoined Jennie "Choeolate creamsr'
 But. Mir. President" expostulated the bewIIdered Judge, you surely don't expect
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-01

president.
 Well, 1t will have to wait" replied Miss Burton, laughing. "I think I'll try another next week"
 Jennie,' continued the president, this Is your conundrum; let us have the solution.' .' "Oh-o-o-o, non' cried Miss Burton, amidst general laughter; Jennie, you mustn'tr' .sfhen you must pay the Circle for the priv
 'Certanly,' Miss Burton agreed "Ill give you pound of nuts"
 'The offer is accepted" declared the presl- dent.
 "I move that we adjourn" said Will. ''Without the c. C.. ?' asked Frank.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-01

talk the matter over. We'll have 10 get saddle for you and have regular cleats made and get good strong rope. But there goes the first drum for supper. we haven't any time for the matter now. You come to- night"
 Yes, sir" said Henry, salutlng. and then he and his companions turned and walked toward quarters feeling so elated that they hardly dared trust themselves to speak.
 Gro be continued)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-02-01
The Fairy's Gift.
BY wINIFREp TALES.

The butterflies in cloth of gold arraye6 Were once as white as snow. By magic was the transformation made Long centuries ago. The fairy queen, whose jeweled cloak and
 crown
 Were dim beside her eyes, One summers day her chariot car drove
 down
 Whose steeds were butterflies. Some birds. her whlte-wlnged subjects to
 deyour.
 Pursued In rapid flight. Each butterfly reposed upon flower, And thus escaped their sight. "oh, blossoms pale, Inquired the eratefm
 queen,
 What can do for you? Would you be like the rose on wonder green Or like the violet blue?'' "oh, make us like your yellow locks.' they
 said, And bushed al speech so bold. The fairy stopped and kissed them where
 they swayed, And To. they all were gcld.
 tlHA solution of last weeks color puzsIet Red, White and Blue; Rose, Canary,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
z. G. McUMBER, Publisher.
IF PRAYERS AVAIL.

II DO portraits e'er were painted,
And If Photographic art
Were as yet all undiscovered,
Still deep craven on my heart
Would / bear your image ever
Truer than e'er brush could linn,
Bear 1t as I e'er shall bear it
Till the sun and stars grow diml
What could artist hope to render
OF the beauty that is thine!
He might paint each feature truly,
Catch the evanescent shine
OF some one mood in your true eyes;
But through all lfe's solitudes
Renders my heart up an image
Of you in thousand moods!
Now see you sweet before me
In your graduating gown;
Now upon the cliffs high summit
With your hair windblown and down;
Now see you in the byway
Where the oxeyed daisies grew;
Glad, exultant loving, tender,
Thoughtful, joyous. leal and true!
Ev'ry wee trick of expression,
Ev'ry charm of face and form,
Ev'ry coil Of spun-gold tresseS,
Etched In shadows umber-warm!
Through the long years Of my living
I shall treasure. love, them yet!
Why, I'm half afraid of dying
Lest in death I might forget!
So, though we shall go asunder
Through the years we both shall tell.
Know your image floats before me!
Know III love you long and well!
And If prayers may ward off evil,
Separate the good from bad,
Know your path shall be all roses
Know your days shall all be glad!
j. NJ. Lewis. in Houston Post.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
The News Condensed.

The church goods manufacturing es-
adjustment Of the HAN Wangerin
company in Milwaukee was damaged to
the extent Of 5000 by fire.
AS the result OF shooting at wee
ding at Kenosha recently it develops
that Earl Marshall, the boy who did the
shooting, had been reared as girl un-
til eight years Of age, and wore skirts
until he was 90.
Mrs. W. H. Grinnel, past department
president of the Wisconsin Woman's
Relief Corps, died from appendicitis al
the Emergency hospital in Beloit.
After watching her body all night,
her husband finally admitted that Lady
Ries, spiritualist, at Milwaukee. was
dead He had previously insisted that
the doctors who declared her dead were
wrong and that she was in trance.
The entire family Of seven Of VII
liam Grover, residing near Galesvilie.
were poisoned by eating canned minced
ham One child died and the rest of
the family were in a serious condition
for some time.
The saloon license at Hancock has
been raised from 5000 to $500.
Fred Krainik, of Manitowoc, chief
machinist in the United States navy,
has Informed relatives of his departure
early in October on $4,000 mile sea
voyage with the government fleet OF
torpedo boat destroyers, then to the
Asiatic station via the Suez canal, and
thence to China.
Mrs. Crestine Prebbenow, of Kill
bourn, died at Arlington at the age OF 80
years. She leaves four sons, also 26
grandchildren and IL great-gran6chil-
dren
The Walworth county fair at Elkhorn
exceeded the state fair at Milwaukee in
point of attendance and the number and
character Of exhibits. The fair has
been successful for 81 years, and has
been much of that time under the same
management.
George F. Carroll, a Chicago lawyer,
was arrested at Salem by Deputy Game
Warden Reinardy for violating the
game laws by shooting fish. He got
only single fish, but was forced to pay
a fine of $40 and costs.
The free textbook system has been
installed in the schools of Oconomo-
woe
While the family was absent from tn,
farm the barn Of A. Ebben, in the town
OF Grand Chute, near Appleton, was &c
stroyed by fire, horse and four hogs
being burned to death and the entire
seasons crop of grain and much ma
chinery destroyed.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Surprise to England.

Queen Elizabeth's house-as it is
called-Worcester, is an object Of great
interest to visitors. One reason for
this is because Queen Bess is reported
to have stayed there when on visit
to the city.
The second reason is, comparative
~ speaking, quite modern. Some Is
or 16 years ago, the city council found
it necessary to make certain street al
terations. The house was very much
in the way, but the good people nj
Worcester would not suffer the house
breakers to demolish the premises.
Accordingly it was decided to make
an attempt to move the house in its
entirety several yards away. Excaya-
tons were commenced, the ground was
tunneled, and by means of an immense
crane and other appliances the struc-
ture was safely removed.
The removal was witnessed by
large gathering of citizens, a charge
being made to watch the novel feat
Country Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Found in a Cistern.

Complying with her little brothers
request Of a few minutes previous te
fish a doll out of cistern, Mary Goas,
daughter Of Frank Goss, of Menasha,
went to the cistern with rake and,
thinking she had located the doll at the
bottom of the cistern, pulled it to the
surface. 1t was the body Of her infant
brother. It is supposed that while Miss
Goss was getting the rake the little
fellow fell into the cistern and was
drowned.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
WISCONSIN STATE NEWS.


By the settlement of the H. @. Moul-
ton will case in the Oshkosh court Mrs.
MAJ Hinkston Berry, of Waukesha, is
to receive large sum from the estate
Of an aged man who took fancy to her
20 years ago. when she was IA years
old. It was in 1883 that the present
Mrs. Berry went to Berlin to visit rel
atives, and there met Moulton, who
was so years old. Mr.. Moulton died in
1900, leaving her generous part Of his
estate, which is estimated to amount
to as much as 100000. The will was
contested and the courts have Just up
acid it.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
VIII Use BuckshOts

The farmers of Pleasant Prairie, as g.
result of several accidents which have
recently taken place, have begun cru
SADIE against automobiles and have for
mally notified chauffeurs that they hav"
armed themselves and will resist any
further encroachments. It Is not their
purpose, they say, to shoot anyone, but
to puncture with buckshot the tires Of
every auto which comes into their
neighbOrhOOd.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
A Pressing Invitation.

Mrs De Style-My dear Miss Van
Note, I am SO glad met you. Didn't
know you were back. You must come 10
my conversations tomorrow.
Miss Van Note--Really, Mrs. De
Style, am afraid should not be much
Of an acquisition.
Mrs. De Style-Oh, you do yourself
injustice. We don't want you to talk:
we want you to play the piano.-N. Y
Weekly.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Tobacco burned.

A fire which destroyed Levi Kitti;-
sens tobacco warehouse at eHoughton
caused loss of $4,000. Mr.. Kitulsen
lost $50 eases of 1901 and 1902 tobacco.
valued at $4,000 anu insured for S15,
000 Lichtenstein Brothers, of New
York, lost 5000 Green Brothers, OF
Houghton. lost 200 cases, valued al
$4,000.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
War on Tramp Preachers.

In order to keep tramps and irrespor-
sible persons from the pulpit, clergymen
in Milwaukee organized the Wisconsin
Christian Ministerial association and
the Wisconsin Christian Missionary as
ISOLATION. The association is formed for
the protection of the church against
erratic and often irresponsible persons
who desire to be preachers.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Center of Interest.

Wisconsin is the center of interest in
insurance circles because of Commits
sioner Hosts ruling that mutual COM
panies must distribute their surplus.
If it is upheld by the courts millions
will be released and the business Of the
state reyOlutionized
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Traffic Abandoned.

Traffic between Baraboo and Portage
was abandoned, the roads being Gov
cred with from two to six feet of wa
ter, and the damage to crops and pro-
perry by the breaking of the levee at
Portage was estimated at $50 ,000
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
In a elias. House.

Nothing displeases DR.. r. Ogden
Doremus more than indistinct speak
ing. He rarely fails to show his dis
approval of It. While lecturing at
the city college recently, having oc-
easion to ask a question of student,
he received mumbled reply.
HIN. HIM, HIM; HIM, him." MINI
licked the irate professor. Cant you
speak Sc can hear you? If you've
anything to say, speak out and don't
humble your words"
The answer was a trifie discomfort
Ing. II said" replied the student,
that I did not hear your question:
Youths Companion.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Steamer Cnnsized.

The steamer Park Bluff was capsized
in a fierce storm which prevailed on the
Mississippi, between Prescott and Still
water, and Engineer James Ferguson, OF
La Crosse, was drowned. The rest Of
the crew were rescued by the crew OF
the steamer GlenmOnt
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
An Al1urinE Argument.

Wife-Why did you stand and talk SO
long with that Turkish peddler?
Husband was trying to convert
him.
HUH! Great missionary you would
be! What did you tell him."
81 told him Christian was not obliged
to have more than one wife. IN. Y.
Weekly.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Her SWfft Return.

Drummer-Let's see! There Is a
show of some kind in the town hall to-
night, isn't there?
Landlord Pettyville Tavern-Sure
thing! Miss Agnes Ammidon appeared
here in East Lynne" In 1874, and
pleased the people so well that she's
consented to play return date tonight.
Puck.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Business.

ri see you have chicken for dinner"
"Yessuh." said. Mr.. Erastus Pink1ey.
ri hope you bought the chicken
well, no; but de transaction were
strictly regular. Dat chicken has been
roostin' on my fence for months, wifout
payin' muffin, an reckoned it were
bout time to Washington
Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Preparing a Surprise.

Mrs. T.-What are you making those
grimaces in the glass for, my dear?
Mr. Tim trying to practice look OF
establishment. Some of my friends are
going to make me present tonight, and
am supposed to know nothing about it
-Tit-Blts.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Misunderstood.

Crace-Miss Olde says she is after
man with money.
Barbara-Well, that may be a sue
cessful way, but I'd hate to think had
bribed a man to be my husband.-K
sas City Journal.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Best Of Proof.

"You are sure he is an honest MANI"
Positive"
What makes you so sure?''
1fHe served two terms in the state
legislature without becoming unduly
prosperous. Chicago Post.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07

1.-THE most expensive coat I've got"
Remarked the Summer man,
For which paid an awful lot,
Is just this coat of tan"
Press
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Never Seen.

A lady that lived in Racine.
She lighted her fire with ker'sene:
Straight up like rocket
Shot poor Mrs. Sprockett,
And since she has never benzinei
Mount Morris Qll) Index.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07

'The baby weighs IL pounds, does
he?" said the proud young mother
~ Are, YOU sure the scales are correct?"
Correct" exclaimed the equally
proud young father, incatiously. 'Of
course they are. They're the scales I
always use for weighing the fish /
catch. Chicago Tribune.
Letting Them Down Easy.
81 wonder why she decided I'd get
married Ill Europe?'
..She had such large circle OF friends
over here that she didn't wish to In
,ite, r-Chicaso Record Herald.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
An Amateur Now.

Sir says the wild-eyed individual
who las forced his way into the Office Of
the dramatic manager, II am the rein
carnation of Baron Munchausen"
Glad to see you. What can I do for
you" 1921 ).
II want position as press-agent."
Sorry to disappoint you. but the posi-
ton calls for a man Of imagination. =
Judge.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Not Competent to Judge.

Cholly-That was clevah thing you
said to Freshly lawst night.
Miss Pepprey-Who told you?
Cho1ly-Why. I-er-heard you say
1t.
Miss Pepprey-Yes, but who told you
Z was Observation-Disclosures Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
Gee-Who's the large gent?
Bang-That's Detective McSlooth in
plain clothes.-Chicago Daily News.

No Room for DOubterR.
Don't you ever stay IN doubt
Always hope ter win:
Wen melon time is gWine out
De 'possun.s comin' inl
-Atlanta Constitution.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07
How 1t Might BE Done.

81 wish we could discourage those
cousins of yours, the Blanks" she said,
YEARLY. "The circumstances are such
that we have to invite them to dinner
about once in SO often, and they never
by any chance decline
Suppose" he said, thoughtfully;
suppose you cook tie dinner for them
yourself the next time Chicago lost.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07

Little Paul (who has just been scoided
by his mother) Don't you yell at me
this way, mamma. I'm not your hus-
Blaetter.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07

Houselotts-Do you own your own
house?
Enthusiastically nominally. We keep
q cook, you KNOWN. Y. Sun.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1903-10-07


way to tn front, where could get
me optics on tn horses. After they
warmed up a few tonnes they got tn
wu-rrd Co.. an you can bet your loife
there was no grass CROWN under thin
sulkies if I know what I'm talkin'
about, an it's to be supposed that I
do.
We'll pom me wu-rrd, Tomus, tn
r-av theim equines stepred it off was
caution to snakes. Whin they
came down tn homestretch it was
anybedy's race an would require a
Phillydelphy lawyer to decide who had
tn best iv it until tn Maid shtuck her
nose under tn wire, winnin' the first
hate.
'Whin tn sport wild tn satchel
shouted out four to one that tn Maid
would win the next hate, he COM
menced. to do some business.
well. whin they came to I h. scratch
it was a soight worth SEEM. Tn Maid
had tn pole, wild Golddust, Bodine,
Fullerton an tn Smuggler followin'
close behind. But whin they came
down tn stretch tn shports thought
that tn jig was up wild tn Smuggler
as they were tryin' to give him tn
flag, but he wouldn't take it. The
Maid reached tn wire, winnin' tn Sec
ond hate
1.-THE lad wild tn grip thin sang out:
Six to one that tn Maid would cor
raj tn next hate but tn collateral
seemed to be slow comm to tn scratch.
The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1903-06-04
= CAN CURE you At HOAaE. 6
When Rich ana cAre~orn.

of course this Is q wicked oia
world. n troubled old world. and al
wSys will be. hut in IL there is more
unhann.ness than there need be.
more ioyIessness: such stupid. lazy
pnhapniness and joylessness. II peo'
n,a would only open their eyes enf
tivate their senses. use the gifts al
hand. instead of repining. envying'
sleeping life away.
Are Won rich and careworng We'll
thar Il too bad. and no light trouble
either. but you can help yourself
Each day take. by fair means or ioui'
a, hour or two 10 yourself. writes
Katherine Pope in the Pilgrim. Walk.
walk walk. miles up and down. "
/, he singing weather" find soE.e Sc
Guided spot. on soft green grass or
warm sands by the water, lie nat on
| vour back. stretch out TO your full ex'
tent. and take in long. deep breatns
| Virtue will enter in TO you from
mother earth. Your tingling nerves
will gradually quiet down: little by
little the lines on your face soften
and bv and by your whole being vii
relax and mayhap you Will fall asieeI
in the sun
The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1903-06-04
Roof-Breaking Crows.

For a long time the Public WORKS
Department In Victoria, B. c., had
been puzzled to account for the con-
tiued leakage in the roof OF the drill
shed. an imposing building with a
slate roof and solid-looking towers IN
ffont. In spite of frequent repairs
states would persist In falling down
A thorough investigation showed that
the trouble was caused by crows, who
swarm on the beach at low tide and
dig for CLANS. The birds found out
that a clam dropped on the roof OF
the shed would break nicely, leaving
the contents in a safe and convenient
spot for laisurly consumption. Near
" every time q clam was dropped or
the roof a slate would be cracked a
we'll. Scarecrows have been erected
and no crows have visited the roo
since
The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1903-06-04
The Marine Engine is Alive.

All good old chiefs love their en-.
gines and come to believe in them as
McAndrew did. To all of US assist
ants and 'prentices they were not tie
mere machines that they appear to the
outsider, but quite human. Every
noise they made, every motion, every
trick they had, we knew and had the
reason for it. Kipling speaks of the
marine engine as the most sensitive
thing man ever invented. There's a
sort of cold, lifeless, though admirable,
precision in a telescope, and fine re-
gard for details in a phonograph, but
the marine engine Is alive; it strains
and labors desperately, it groans with
rheumatism in its joints, screams with
the pain Of tight bearings, staggers
and plunges against the oncoming
seas, gets out of breath and runs away
with itself. trembling like frightened
horse.-Benjamin Brooks, in Serb
ner's.
The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1903-06-04

der troubles before they reach the seri-
Gus stage. Read how easily it can be
done.
w. j. Hill, of 10 South Union street.
Concord, n. c.. proprietor of hardware
and harpess store, Justice of the Peace.
and one of the best known residents
or that city. says: "Doan's Kidney
Fills proved a very efficient remedy in
my case. l got box at the Gibson
Drug Store and used them for disor-
dered kidneys and backache. from
which l had experienced a great deal
or annoyance. trouble and pain. Tile
kidney secretions had bothered mo for
q long while. We're very irregular. dark
colored and full Of sediment. The Pills
cleared 1t all up and I have not had
On ache in my back SINCE taking the
last dose. My back is much stronger
and my health generally is improved
n great deal. | am glad TO make n pub
lie endorsement of the Pills. trusting
that 1t may be the means of relieving
some other sufferer"
A FREE TRIAL of this great kidney
medicine which cured Mr.. Hill will he
mailed to any part of the United States
on application. Address Foster-Nfil-
burn Co.. Buffalo, n. Y. For sale by
al druggists, price so cents per box
The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1903-06-04
Miracle Of Emerson's Style.

Emerson's highest artistic quality
has in IL always d suggestion OF
miracle. One cannot see how /; was
done" and imitation IS disaster. The
sentence. the phrase. creates in the
mind a sense Of luminousness. so keen
is the vibration. This may be said
OF all works Of hiFh artistic genius,
but in the case OF Emerson the nlirac-
u;ously luminous effect is peculiarly
felt. On a building at the Permanent
can Exposition at Buffalo the visitor
VINO read the following words. even II
he could not remember having read
them before, might not loLg Go-bi
as to their origin: 70 rich and various
Man, thou palace of sight and sound,
carrying In thy senses the morning
and the night and the unfathomable
galaxy; in thy brain. the geometry
of the city OF God: in thy heart. the
bower Of love and the re!ams OF right
and wrong."-The Century.
The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1903-06-04
When kldrieh Laughed.

"Did you ever laugh at a tuner VI
said Senator Aldrich Of Rhode is.al1
Il did once. II was the funeral q, a.
old-tIme Acquaintance. and tae min
lister who made the opening address
was bScntminded. He got ug !,
the pulpit. began so speak. and isrz
hesItsted. He had forgotten IA" 81
OF the corpse.
Our deceased. our deccas" ~
brother-or sister he said. and th.-
wen; on and spoke w.ih great e. Ink
about the virtues OF the deceased an
ing IL always 'brother--oE sister. Pin
ally. pausing a moment. heard I'm
saw TO the aged deacon who -; IL
a loud whisper:
The corpse, which is 1t. b-a,har
or e sister
The deacon was very old and flaw
OF Wit. He answered in n whisper
Neither. Only an acquainiaLr,
Here" Senator A!drich ended, "a
laughed.