The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-02-22
FUN OF THE WORLD.


there The commissioner wired from London to say
that there were 100000 knocking about
kpe town. that there excitement. and that men
Sere begging to be sent to fight the Beers Kruger
wired back. Go North The commissioner found him
self in Newcastle evidently. ard wired Kruger. For
Gods sake, stop the war; England is bringing men
up from he'll. eight at time, in cages
He had coal mine"
z <
The late Counselor Nolan imposing rich
brogue. and ready wit could take liberties with
the bench and escaped any member
OF the bar. On occasion a trial which he
of the when adjourned for
lunch. the clerk announced that the would be
called again promptly at o'clock
When the reconvered that hour every
in place except Nolan. and everything at a
standst to the evident irritation OF the court and the
annoyance others concerned in the case
At lis O'Clock in walked the counselor smiling and
debonair, when the judge drawing his witch from his
pocket. said
Counselor you delayed the business this
court just fifteen minutes
To which the counselor replied:
We'll il may be you honor, but you know
you depend upon those Waterbury,
The judge joined in the general laugh that followed
the counselor took his seat and the incident closed
x <
A Chicago mother hearing that her sister had
ceived girl. said Lillian her little daugh
ter Lillian. auntie has new baby. and now mamma
is the babys aunt Papa is the baoy's uncle and you
are her little cousin" said Lillian. wondering
ly, wasn't that arranged quick
LAWYERS and politicians Kansas born
and reared at Weston, Platte county Mo. The follow
story which Will be of interest TO the people OF the
section where the spent his childhood. is told Of Mr.
Waggener:
tried his first in the United States cir
cult Leaenworth Kansas. before Judge Miller
The opposing counsel Mr.. ]. Z. Merriman. who
lived in Platte county during the time his father lived
there, his death young Waggener frequently
him. saving wood and doing odd jobs about
his office At the time Of the trial Mr. Merriman was
irritab HE md
argument jury he referred to waggener as the
boy who had bIacked his boots In his reply Mr. Wag-
gener said that boyhood days were days
poverty and want. L was my misfortune; not my
fault. that have BACKED the gentleman
boots / shall it, for the last time did So
he paid a counterfeit dime and did not have the
manhood take it back when his attention was called
to it, remark caught the jury and while the case
was they long in giving verdict
in favor of waggener's client. The motion for new
overrued the judge remarking that lit never
did an old lawyer any good assail young member
of the bar. especially when it was unprovoked"
z Z z
certain enthusiastic young lady had been taken. for
the first time weeks TO see a football match
She knew nothing about the game, but she wasn't
quite aware of the fact.
They're a poor team, aren't they she remarked
to her companion referring the home eleven
oh dear no. he replied. They're considered to be
a very lott
That isn't what mean explained the lazy lhey
not rich
Certainly not" was the reply. 1.-The players
mostly working and they don't get the support they
deserve. AS a of fact, the clubs in debt
The lady was silent for moment Ihen she returned
to the attack with:
Il should wealthy team play
'Why?"
Well" she replied every man would have foot
ball of his cwn. suppose
Ga
Billy Mason. who is soon TO yield his seat IN the
United tates senate to Albert Hopkins. is of
erous years when he was in the ILL.,
nois state senate says the Brooklyn Eagle he lived next
door to friend whom well call Robinson
Sunday morning the Senator found two feet or so OF
snow on his sidewalk and about shoveling it of
before people should begin passing their way TO church
II was work. and the fat little man was pretty
well winded when the job was finished he felt that
it would be a Christian clean his neighbours walk.
since knew that Robinson had been out Of towR
for a week
When he had completed the task and was about to
return to his own house surprised to see Rob
inson sitting his fire, smoking good cigar ana
comfortably reading his Sunday paper
Look here' the Senator called through the window
II thought you out of town"
Il got back this morning." said Robinson. smiling
through the pane.
why didn't you shovel of your sidewalk them
Il was Just going to when l you doing it,. Rob-
inson answered. by the Senator. would you
mind shoveling a path the barn? want to go out
and feed the horse
x x
Sir Richard Powell eminent English physician, Is
his frankness in speaking his mind without
regard the social position Of his patient once when
he was called 10 prescribe for the Duchess Of Man
chester. he disrobe But. Sir Richard
haven't any maid here" said; to which the baro
net retorted: Madame 1 have intention OF examin
ing your maid
x <
Frederick ]. Crowset. in his volume. Musicians W.T.
Humor Anecdote' says t1at when the famous
Strauss visited America. musical went wild
over him. the end OF the the king
OF waltz music showered with application for hair
In due course the locks distrbuted-many
hundreds of them each accompanied by the
compliments OF the Sufficient hair sent
out to look though ne had been sand
papered yet when this country his locks were
as abundant But when his beautiful black
retriever Cstrauss dog fancerl took his
departure the animal looked like a shorn poodle
Ess
In his "RecoIlections" Aubrey dc We're tells ~
Irishman he in Switzerland. with whom patriotism
v-ss truIy a mania every praise o; the
scenery about him seemed distinct aspersi0n the
land Of his birth
What you compare hsre7" he demanded. with
the mountains Of wicklow
PERHAPS" said a traveller. "one might name the
mountains Of the Mont Blanc range"
oh be replied scorufuIly 'thsyre out OF all
SON I m walking along the ChamOuni Valley
three days and I only four of those mountains
Sure Wicklow. I've counted many eight in
three hours"
Have you seen this waterfall within hal.
mile Of u.s.