Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1903-05-22
The Mule That
Went to Jersey

riz right up often the mack'ral Kit and
L says to Nose:
Here l says, if you amt got
gumption enough to say anythin,
says, git often that cracker barl,' L
says.
"'Cause the stranger that got outen
his wagon and tied his wall-eyed hoss
TO the hitchin' post in front of the
Eddy store had come m lookin' sour
er than vinegar bar'l, and l could see
that if his whiskers hadn't "a been
dyed they'd been as yaller as dandy
lines in medder. He looked around,
sort o. sniflin and snortin', and he
says:
"'I'm headed for jersey says he,
tand l can't git there none too soon,
says he.
Il seen to once that the feller was
stickin' up his nose at the Knob coun-
try, and first l felt sorry fer him fer
bein' so misguided, but after another
look around, and sniffin' and snort
in agin at what he see, he says:
"''m pinin' for Jersey! And the
more | look around me here he says,
the more plne!
"Then that stickin' of his nose up
at the Knob country got to be agger-
vatin', and | didn't feel sorry for him
no more. Nose he sot on the cracker
barl where he didn't have no business
to be, cause he can't talk, and the
cracker bar'l is always the place for
the man to set on who can talk |
ha L, - ,,J 1,,n Il
of man who can talk bein' squatted
on kit o. mack-ral!
"Simon was a leetle wan and weary,
cause business was slack, and was lay
in on the counter with his head rest
in on a roll o. calico. Job was strad-
die o. the slab bottom cheer, chawin'
plug terbacker. None of 'em didn't
seem to pay no attention to the stran-
gers sticlIin' of his nose up at the
Knob country, and there l was on the
.mack'ral kit and couldn't half talk.
$50 when he shifted and snorted and
said he was pinin' for Jersey, and the
more he looked around on to us the
more he pined, 1 got so aggravated
that L riz right up often the mack raj
kit and l says to Nose:
"'Here,' L says, if you amt got
Jgumption enough to say anythin','
says, git often that cracker bar'l!' l
says.
And Nose clim' often the cracker
bari and 1 clim' on to it, and l says to
the feller who was pinin' for Jersey:
Ever been to Jersey?' L says to
him.
Ever been there!' he says, looliin'
around some more, and snitfin' and
.snortin'. Why, sandfleas a-hoppin'!
was born there!' he says.
'Then l sort o. felt sorry for the
Teller ag'in, but he shifted and snort
ed and turned up his nose at the Knob
country worse'n ever, and my aggerva-
ton come back to wunst.
Many more jest like you down
tbere?' l says, sort O. snippy.
Many more he says. Hull town.
ships of 'em!' he says. Jest like me,
he says, only Dustin sight more so!
he says.
"'Then,' says I, that explains some
thin. That explains it, l says, sure
as grass a-growin'! l says. 4 never
knowed no one but old Joe's Ebenezel
that'd ever been to jersey l says.
"'And I'll bet you two-year crap o
cramberries that he's braggin' on il
yit! says the sour-lookin' feller, stick
in up his nose more and more ag'iI
the Knob country.
mo L says, he amt
"'Say' says the feller, huffy as San
Hill. DO you mean to set there OF
that cracker barl and tell me tina
he's sayin' anything ag'in p he says
"'No,' says l. 4 don't, cause h
never said a word agin it, says 1. No
durn word says 1.
"'Should say not the feller says
eAnd he hadn't BETTER says he, sniffin
and snortin'.
"And l grinned and said that h
could count sure on it that Ebeneze
never would, and then / sot squar
on the cracker bar'l and says:
'Somethin' like three year ago.
says, old Joe traded tract o. hem
lock, back o the Knob, for a farm
some'rs' way down in Jersey. One da
he says to Shorty, which was his hire
man and good un:
shorty" says he, there amt N
sort o. use. We've got to do somethi1
with Ebenezer The better treat hi1
the meaner he acts.
"'"He won't go and plow, he won
work in hayin', he won't do nothil
that amt cussedness. He up an
kicked the gray mare in the belly tn
mornin', and she won't be worth
snip for a week. He got mad at tn
old woman and chased her from tn
'cowyard clear to the house and int
the house and half way up the kitche
stairs.
"'"There amt no livin' with Eb,
nezer any longer. Somethins got t
be done. 1t seems a shame to send hi,
out o. the Knob country, but I'll ha,
to do it. I'm goih' to send him an
you to work the new farm down