Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-10

''DUToHY, vHAs DER NEW DAY PATROL MAN ON DIS BEAT"
 must understands something's right avhay. I vhas bigger man dan der mayor of New York;
 "How can dot be?'
 "vhatl What! Don't you belief I vhas? Look oudt, old mans. I vhas also a bigger man dan der governor"
 "Vhas dot possible?'
 "I'll show you before week vhas oafer l vhas also a bigger mans dan der president of der United States, und when I pass your door you shall put your hand on your heart und bow down to me. Haf you got dose things fixed in your mindr
 'Maype haf," I says.
 "Dere vhas no maype aboudt her. You shust remember who vhas, or it vhill be bad for you. Der odder mans on dis beat vhas changed off because he don't feel bigger ash an aldermans und let millionaires be too familiar init him. Don't you get it in your head vhas dot kind of a man. Der mans who tries to get familiar init me vhill udl bOIuG DIOhCA ACdOS -IlSAL dNndy Don't you eafer speak init me unless I gif you leaf to do so. Half you got dot fixed in der top of your head?'
 ''I won't speak to you at al1,'' I says. What! Vhat!' he yells oudt ash he grows red in der face. By golly, but If you don't speak to me all der time I shall send you cop to Sing Sing for fife yearsl Tell me you vhill speak to me tell me queekw
 "Vhell, den, shall speak init you
 Look oudt old mans-look oudt! You vhas monkeying init a mighty, big buzz saw. Let me tell you some more. If you like to keep friendts init me you yhill haf growler of beer here so dot can drink ash pass by. Being great mans und walking cop und down makes me thirsty, und 1t vhas for common peoples to buy me beer. You shust fix dat in your mind or dere vhas some troubles. Haf you some groWler now ?"
 q don't belief I haf, but haf some water in dot pitcher oafer dere, und you can help yourself"
 Water! Water! By dot big horn spoon, but If you talk dot vhay to me yOu NhdS d NLlPplC lOL 14LO HI h1C Ahih- utes! Do you belief vhas some three year-old child to cry for water? You haf dot growler ready in one hour or your heart shall ache Dere vhas some t'ings else to speak of, und you listen to me und don't draw your breath while I talk. shall expect you to keep my shoes in repair mitout cost to me und be glad to do 1t, und you can begin to- morrow. You shall fix 'em cop ash good ash new und of der werry best leather. I shall also bring some shoes for my wife und children und maype for some friendts of mine. You shall make good jobs of 1t or you shall hear from me- Do you understand, Dutchy, or must go at 1t und sandpaper dot old head of yours? Der work I bring in shall keep you busy all der time."
 T don't work for nobody for not tings," tells him. "If works for not tings who buys my leather und pays my rent und how does my family liver"
 What! Vhat!'' he yells ash he almost shumps oop und down. ''So haf found man who def1es me to my face, haf I? By my soul, but do you know you vhas oh der edge of der grave und dot in ten
 
 seconds more you vhas a corpse! Listen 10 me, oldt mans, und listen like you neffer did before. fMaype you vhas deaf und don't hear what I said, but you shall fix oop my shoes or I'll make it so hot for you dot you vhas roasted In cold weather! Dere vhas something's more, too, und you keep right on listen ing init all dose big ears of yours. I can't smoke while on duty, ash dot takes avhay my dignity, but when I goes off I like to put good cigar in my mouth 'und swell aSoundt und put on style. It vhill be your business to buy mesthree good cigars eafery day, und you paste dot in your hat"
 ''Vhy shall I put him in my hat?" I asks. Don't it do if 1 put Eim on der floor or in my pocketbook?"
 "No, you oldt idiot. You paste him in your hat to make you remember. It vhas three cigars day, und each one vhas 10 cents. Half you got dot fixed in your mind, or must take you by der neck to make you remember?"
 II don't belief I haf If you like to drop in some time und visit me nnd smoke my pipe dot vhas all right. but maype you had better bring some to- baccQ aIQng mltsyogls X.