New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-09-11
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

THE TALK OF THE DAY.
The London Chronicle tells story of an iuci-
dent in a Donegal village showing the friendly
Irish habit OF giving a pleasing answer IN prefer
ence to the bald truth II want some peppermint
lozenges." said the Saxon visitor. coming straigh:
to the point. Sure We do smiled the Irish shop
man, keeping off it How much they7' pur-
sued the Saxon, the man did not move. And
isn't it two ounces penny they are7'' answered
the Irishman. still without moving. well. have
you got any?" persisted his customer. impatiently
Sure. not any at aI! said the Irlshman. coming
reluctantly to the point. with his sweetest smile
Of all.
He Lost Out.--They had been trotting in double
harness for only three short months. when the
George, dear she said, when you proposed to
me did you think would scceFt?"
about it. really didn't think you would the first
The second?' queried her ladyship.
once was my limit" answered the victim OF g
mistaken theory-(Chicago News.
kissing the book is more generally practised
IN England than in this country. Witnesses have
enjoyed for several years the statutory right Of
being sworn In the Scottish fashion. but extremely
few exercise 1t, despite the frequent objections
urged against kissing the book sanitary grounds
A witness in the Newcastle County Court has con-
trived to adhere to the practice. while showing his
appreciation OF the grounds which doctors have
condemned It. Immediately he stepped into the
witness box he produced Testament from his
pocket to be sworn This precaution was at
commended by Judge Greenwich. who re-
marked that he himself would not kiss one OF the
court Testaments for one thousand pounds In a
court in another part OF the country Testament
has been long in that It is calculated over
two hundred thousand persons have kissed it The
officials said to have made this interesting
calculation known to the world with feelings OF
peculiar pride
THE LOST GOLFER,
The ha decline Of pz pong wh9Se attractions te5sf s4t
has left in the breasts Of these rensgades
return to their rst love T6s Conclusion Of the following
igalI
Just fer celiuloid pillue he left US
These were the toys by which Fortune bereft Us
sSopdn Wt clubs 10 s ' HANDED him racEct
Rackets Of sandpaper. rubber and felt
' Pesent screws and the death dealing welt
ort nad we played with him. partnered him. sworn
Copied his pitches in height i1It. and in cut
Made him our pattern to drive and to put.
Benedick's with us. the major is OF us
He alone broke from the links and the Clubhouse.
He alone sank in toe slough Of ping pong.
W 9g n not bis b the tS Ssa saES:
Holes done in wnere would be ample
RaS sSSq wa a his O hs 1Ss as snss
One more mind unhinged by plltulent Sans.
Who once had e. princely plus s. TO his name
ItelIsd Of his hideous lesion OF briH' 49,
Back to the inks in , The dayiins s a& twilight
Back Tor the medal DAY. back ior our fourscuaeA
Back from the infante. ceaseless half voiley.
-(Punch.
Trial by jury civil actions in the county courts
In England has long been declining in popularity
On one circuit. In which several thousand
Of some Importance disposed OF during 1892
a single action tried with jury. This Is
certainly not surprising II county court juries often
behave as did the FIVE good and true whose
strange methods I'm arriving at verdict were de-
scribed by county court judge in The London
Times the other day. The case. which arose out
OF an accident lasted two days. Tho jury Of five
retired. Said No. 1: oil. Grease & OIL my
solicitors: my verdict is for them. Oddly enough.
No and No also employed the same solicitors
and so the three solid for OIL Grease & OIL
For hours Nos. and 8 held Night far
advanced: they were cold and hungry. and Sub
rnitted' This is bad enough. but what the county
court fudge adds is more calculated to make
all utigants' flesh creep Up spake No. 1: Let
me see: were Oil. Grease & Oil fer plaintiff or de-
fendantT But. alas! none Of the five knew
FROM DIFFERENT POINTS OF VIEW.
Honesty" said the good lis the best pol
pardon. friend" put IN the man OF the
world honesty IS the short cut to poverty
cone moment, gentlemen" said the maiden, who
had passed her thirtieth, honesty Is the headsman
IF bes 10 differ" said the cynic TN your case
hsnesty would he the salvation OF possible SUI
Honesty" declared the politician. is the sum
total OF nothing divided by two and split in the
IT T1a,rtain" said the debutante. that honesty
is , bore and the antithesis OF fattery-'
Honesty" said the grocer Is too much sugar
And they agreed TO compromise on the concu-
sion that: ,.. 49,. .N .h,,s.s 81
damned b. circumstances-'-Ife
A writer in Electricity says II has been dis
covered that the aging OF violin can be artinciaIy
secured BY exposing the wood 20 H-Tays The
beautiful tone which has heretofore resulted from
e natural aging OF the wood for hfty or sixty
wars can thus be obtained In single day IL this
be true StradIvarus yions will be no longer at a
premium except IN far as perfection OF manu-
facture is concerned though II is probable that as
IN most other processes. the natural aging VIII
/ yield the better
Silence Is GoIfen.-"Of course" said the begin
rex, TO Be successful in politics one must know
how TO speak. 80. -. - -.
know how not TO speak. "-(Phtladelphia Press