The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-12-14

Some alleged friend recently sent us
notice or catalog of what are called the
Standard Books of Mystery" One of
these is the Science of Breath and is
written by Yogi Dagobanana, who must
be connected with our old friend, Swami
Punkapajama, his ideas are SO similar.
The book shows, or ought to show, that
any man who breathes on you with the
cigarette breath will never attain the Yogi
'unfoldment.''
The second book of mystery was written
by our old South Dakota friend, now
known In the east as Elizabeth Towne.
Elizabeth lin a very unique and interest
ing booklet SO the catalog says, tells
you How to Wake the Solar Plexus"
Ella Wheeler Wilcox, whose solar plexus
is very wide awake indeed, says the book
is worth fortune. The idea in walk
ing the solar plexus, says Lizzie, is Ito at
tain poised selfhood.'' 1t is of no value
to bang tin pan or make a loud noise to
waken your plexus from it's ages-long
slumber. you must woe it gently into
wakefulness and not bat it with a boxing
glove. The idea that the plexus can be
awakened by the solar plexus knockout
blow is sadly erroneous. Elizabeth, as
well as Swami pagobanana, gives you eX-
ercises in brea thing a preparatory step
to the solar plexus throwing off its fright
full lethargy.
Elizabeth says, as a heading to these
breathing lessons, Eat some air. From
this it seems that Elizabeth and the trusts
are trying to bring the same great hap
piness into the lives of the rude common
atty, viz, teaching them how to live on
air.
For our part, we prefer the more ESQ
teric teaching of Yogi Dagobanana to that
of Swami Elizabeth Anna. But we may
be wrong.
Colombia couldn't lick a stick of candy.
In Colorado they would not allow All un-
fair workman to be buried in the union
cemetery.
The United States spends $500. ooo 900
for breadstuffs and $1,000 900, 600 for rum.
The x-ray is said to be turning some
colored people white. If several friends
came in and handed us out an x, Dor
rowed some time in the nineties, we should
blancf little. 49, ....
The Adrian Democrat man seized his
pen and was just throwing off this: Man
turns from the splendor of sunlight that
fills a. universe with radiance and gets his
greatest inspiration from the light ir
woman's eyes. The beauty of the flowers
of the world are reflections from her
cheeks. The songs of the birds, the sigh
Of the zephyrs, the sounds of the srandest
organs do not move man like the music of
wonan's voice" Just then said music
was heard striking the Adrian Democrat
for $40 for Christmas presents and he
has retired to his coal hole to mediate.
The Adrian Democrat goes on to tell
of an Iowa, school teacher who had taught
| seventy-two consecutive terms, missing
| only one half day when she stuck in a
snowbank. The Democrat says that the
guilds of gum she has chewted placed side
by side would reach from here to yonder
or perhaps little farther She has
spanked several sena tors and judges. and
several men have kept company with her
who now have grandchildren
T. .. Crothers. NJ. D., of Hartford, af-
| ter some investigation. estimates that
I there are in this country from 100000 to
| 200 regular users of opium, including
| from to 10 per cent of medical men.
Let US hope that our respected family
practitioner Is not having a pipe dream
when he diagnoses our case as compound
cardiac appendicitis and insists on excis-
ing everything below the thorax. If SO,
We want to quit.