Waterbury Democrat., 1903-02-21
MARRIAGE.
''Old Gorgon Graham" Pork Packer,
 Chicago, Writes to His Son.

Chicago. Writes to His Son.
 Of course you're in no position yet to think of being engaged even, and that's why Pm a little afraid that you may be planning to get married But SIP clerk, who owes $52 for roses, needs keeper more than q wife. I want to say right here that there always comes a time to the fellow who blows $52 at q lick on roses when he thinks how many staple groceries he could have bought With the money After all, there's no fool like a young fool, be- cause in the nature of things he's got q long time to live.
 l suppose I'm flaming the air when ask you to be guided by my judgment ill this matter, because, while young fellow will consult his father about buying q horse, he's cocksure of him. self when it comes to picking q wife. Marriages may be made i'll heaven, but most engagements are made in the back parlor, with the gas so low that fellow doesn't really get q square look at what he is taking. While man doesn't see much of a girls fam fly while he's courting, he's apt to See good deal of il when he's housekeep- ing; and while, he doesn't marry his Wife's father there's nothing ill the marriage VOW to prevent thc old man from borrowing money from him, and you can bet if he's old Job Dashkam he'll do 1t. A man can't pick his own mother, but he can pick his sons mother, and when he chooses father 1n-law who plays the bucket shops he needn't be surprised if nls own son plays the races.
 Never marry q poor girl who's been raised like rich one. She's simply traded the virtues of the poor for the vices or the rich without going long on their good points. To marry for money or to marry without money is a crime There's no real objection to marrying woman with q fortune, but there is 10 marrying a fortune with a woman Money makes the mare go, and it makes her cut up too, unless she's used to 1t and you drive with a snaffie bit
 While you are at it, there's nothing like picking out good looking wife because even the handsomest woman looks homely sometimes, and so you get little variety; but a hoinely one can only look worse than usual Beau ty Is only skin deep, but that's deep enough to satisfy any reasonable man. q want to say right here that to get any sense out of proverb 1 usually md that l have to turn it, wrong side out.) Then, too, if fellows bound to marry fool and lot of men have to 1T they're going to hitch up into a we'll matcned team, there's nothing like picking good looking one
 believe in short engagements and long marriages. I don't see any sense in a fellows sitting around on the nourners bench with the sinners after hes really got religion. The time to slze up the other sides strength is be- fore the engagement.
 some fellows propose to girl before they know whether her front and back nalf match, and then holler that they're stuck when they ind that she has Il cork leg andFa glass eye as well. I haven't any sympathy with them. | They start outton the principle that married people have only one meal a day. and that of fried oysters and tutti- 1rutt1 ice cream after the theater Nat urally girls got her better ngture ana her best complexion along under those circumstances; but the really val uaole thing to know is how she ap- proahces ham and eggs at a. m., and whether she brings her complexion 1 With her to the breakfast table. And tnese fellows make girl believe that they're going to spend all the time be- tween $ ana II D. m., for the rest of their lives, holding 8 hundred and forty pounds, live weight. in their lap. and saving that 1t feels like feather. The l thing to find out is whether. when one or them gets up to holding ten-pound baby in his arms. for five minutes, he's going to carry on as if it weighed a ton.--F'rom Letters from a Self-Made Merchant to His .on,'' by George Hor. ace IDorimer. By permission of Small Maynard x Co, publishers, Boston l Mass.