West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-01-22

you that l was as soft as putty, ,or
have discovered that he was wrong.
"But this is straight goods, ;
protested the caller. al can prove
to you that 1t will not Only restor,
gray hair to ITS original color, but
it will produce a new growth where
the hair has fallen out. You have
the misfortune to be bald-headed,
but | assure you"
81 may be bald headed, but | am
not an idiot~ shouted Mr.. Bowser,
as the few hairs on his head stood
on end. The caller FASTENED to gel
out of doors and lean against the
fence and wonder what sort Of 9
change had come over the mar
inside.
"Now, why in Jericho should tha
man have come to me2" asked Mr.
Bowser, as he walked up and dowr
and was half inclined to kick the cal
whenever he passed her.
Perhaps he heard that you did
once invest in hair dye or some
thing Of the sort" replied Mrs. Bow.
ser.
al never invested. No one except
fool would invest. Why the man
insulted me in my own house wher
he referred to my bald head.
wish had kicked him"
Mrs. Bowser recalled "Bowser'.
Hair Dye" "Bowser's Hair Re-
storer" and "Bowser's Hair Grower,
and the money he had put into them
and lost, but she was too polite to
reopen the old wounds. She was
trying to figure out what could have
brought about such a radical change,
when there was an aggressive, i'm
pudent ring at the bell, and a man
of loud voice and much cheek
inquired for Mr.. Bowser and
straightway began:
"I'm going TO give you the tip OF
your life. Here is a sample OF my
fireproof paint that l want you to 20
down into the kitchen and test, and
then want you to put in 81, ooo
with me. It's the best thing of the
century. 1t beats all the Cripple
Creek mines. There's more money
to be made out of this paint than
anything else on the face"
"Sir, you have made mistake, ("
interrupted Mr.. Bowser.
GLOW do you mean2"
al am not easy TO work. You
can take all your old freproof paint
and go TO Texas with i'll"
"But my dear man, you can't
afford to miss good thing. I've
got it. It's like picking up dia-
monds. This paint only costs ~
cents a gallon, and it sells for IS.
Look at the profit"
81 don't want It,"
"You must be joking. l don't
care what business You are in, or
how much money you are making,
this is better thing. / know you
invested in a patent pumkin litter
and got left, and that your invest
ment in that turnip litter didn't turn
out"
"Stopl" Numbered Mr.. Bow,er,
as ne almos, jumped off the floor.
"You are wasting your breath.
will show you out"
"This isn't anything like the
wrinkle remover you invested. in
and lost Saso," said the paint man,
as he reached the door and slid out.
Mr.. Bowser returned to the sitting.
room to explain:
"By the great horn spoon, but
the next swindler who calls here
will hear something dropl Woman,
why is it that people think my skull
is stuffed with sawdust2 Do | look
like born IDIOT"
He jumped for the cat, but she
was too quick for him, and he was
glazing around and breathing hard
when the bell softly tingled. A
pleased smile came to his face, and
he hurried down the hall to open the
door himself The caller was
religious young man who was can
vassing for the "Life OF the Dis
ciples," bound in calf or otherwise.
and some church people lad told
him 10 call on the Bowsers. He
began his speech but he hadn't got
out 10 words when Mr.. Bowser
uttered whoop and rushed for him.
Mrs. Bowser and the cat fastened
down the hall, but by the time they
reached the open door the young
man was flying out Of the gate for
his life and Mr.. Bowser was at his
heels and thirsting for his blood.
IIOw's Thisl