The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-06-07
FUN OF THE WORLD.

Interesting. too. has been the "reminiscences
sons love FOR pie. 1t has been
his pie baked in deep. square tins so the real
estate Spectator ne could get a good Rallied
upon his fondness for this resistance New
England cookery. fondy recalled
sage replied: What is pie made if be eaen:
"a delightful bit Of Emersonian philosophy.
We'll. suh." said Brother Williams yer QUITO
mobyou business is get;in be ruination de
country! 1 de like the day 1 raise en-
BON Folks dat few years satisfied ter 90
ter town in Ox-cart. wouldn't at
railroad train, is now runnin ter who'll
strike de hereafter fust automobyou. Hits come
ter de dat wen falls
inlaw he makes her present dem.
thing she knows. she nuthin En- wen his DO
relations spend lie summer him. all he got
ter do is-give e ride. dey don't back no
mo fer Christmas. Hits opinion dat de automobyou
is dom thin de human race dan all de
rheumatism doctors in de country"
Congressman Champ Clark usually manages TO take
pretty himself circumstances
During his campaigns in Missouri he struck an
exceptionally hostile neghborhood. He been sub
Jected Interruptions finally burly fell
STROBE the of the platform said:
Say you're a d fool and everybody here knows
Clarks actually bscame radiant at announce
He leaned before the bewdered specta-
who hurled epithet could think seized his
hand and wrung it warmly. Then. facing his audience
squarey. Clark said:
The my friend here given
newed encouragement If before l had any shadow or
doubt TO success he has dspeed it, for II poll
the full this precinct l will be elected
by rousng majority
Clark afterward said he knew he was taking long
chances. But the audience wild the prompt
rejoinder and the congressman really did the
precinct when election day rolled around
E. E. Eaton. in Harpers Weekly. says: weeks
1 told Mr. stOddard. the poet. the anecdote
had heard about him. II credited his
lily physician longtime friend. NJ. Slim
son. and the that the poet while endeav-
orng to procure impromptu luncheon for a number
of friends after Mrs Stoddard and the servants
retired found a box of sardines His vigorous
remarks. inspired by a sardine objection the
open sesame of dull jaek-knife attracted the
tention of Mrs Stoddard the floor above.
What you doins?" she called down.
Opening of sardines.'
''W.,h what?'
dashed jack-knife" replied the exasperated
poet What did YOU think was opening it with
We'll. dear" she said dryIy. 4 didn't exactly
thinking opening it with prayer
Mr.. Stoddard laughed heartily declared that the
story base fabrication but it is characteristic
all details that confident his recollection
not the story fault
Mr. Stoddard's first book. Footprints" published in
1S49. little satisfied him that he burnt all but few
copies And I see" he added after describing the
incident. that dashed fool paid $50 for OF
them the other day"
During the Crimean a Scotch officer appoint
ed to command regiment recruited Glasgow. Scot
land. and being Highlander. took Of the regi
determine whether the men favored the adop-
ton of the Highland
the regimenal orderly appeared before
the colonel with the result Of the
Wen. orderly" said he how of the
favored the adoption of the Highland plaids?'
only two.
only two! Well. am glad I have at least two good
Hishlanders in regiment Who they?'
Corporal Flaherty and Private Muligan. SIR
Charlie Thompson. at time a well-known caddie.
was in his way quite a character. . once carry
ing a gentleman who was wondering about the mem
bers OF foursome just passing They very seri
GUS" he Observed they be playing for big stake
Ma sir" Charles reply 'thae chaps daurna
play for siller. II it's anything itn be for rac"
x (
For pure confusion of thought the following brief
essay by a schoolchild twelve on the Human Body
would be hard to beat
The body divided three PARASITIC
head. the chest and tummick
The head contains the eyes. ears. nose. mouth
brains. if
The the heart lungs and part Of the
liver.
The tummick is entirely devoted to the vowes Of
which they five, namely u. and sometimes
and H.
Z
Lady" observed Tired Tatters to the Phiiade phia
houseKeeper. Il you that feel very
bad to trouble you by me request. but amt respon
CALL
Never mind trying TO lay il onto some one else"
began the ruhled Il your kind
But, lady. let explain" exclaimed Tatters
estly. You physicersn give medicine
TO take after meals 1 can't take it a empty
mick and in order foler the directions dat give
him good money fer I'm forced you pervde the
meal OATS de only why / you fer somethn'
l eat-de sole an only reason, believe me"
The meal forthcoming
business quiet in shop 50 when the
young cap and apron entered, the brakeman
all and attention
what do for you. madam he queried politely
4 see" she said with a rich Oroguc. that ya are
afteher senIn' them newfsnged things they
in the gas"
Yes. madam. have a very large assortment Of
the very best incandescent fittings You
complete set-atings. chimney and nsntle-ss iow
$50"
oh" was the reply sure. it's not the eomplate set
that m afther wanting I've the brass part and
the chimney all right be. But little white
shirts an broken srnithereens. another
that / want. II ye plszeT
Barber-Poor jim been cent to an insane asylum
Victim Gn chart-who-s jim?
"Jim IS my twin brother sr. jim has ionz BEEN
broodn' dgn business an sgpp1se he finally
Hum Not unlikely.
Yes he ard a.e worked hy side fsrr Years sn1 ze