The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-28
r o ONE can cherish more laud-
able desire than to qualify for
N the high office of welcome guest.
W,lh this admirable object in


view, you advance your interests
just In proportion as you show never
falling thoughtfulness for your hostess.
Set out on your social career with a
determination to win, not only by secur-,
ing sound knowledge of the laws of ETH
quette. as set down by the best author
tiles. but by showing conscientious re-
gard for the rights Of your hostesses and
perfectly evident disposition to p.ease
and be pleasing.
If you find yourself left out In the gen.
eral distribution of agreeable invitations,
don't blame society for overlooking you.
The mistake is yours. in not rightly and
pleasantly tmpressing people, and your
business should be to take yourself In
hand. Find out where the screws are
loose and what Is lacking in your manner.
There are good many mentally near
sighted persons know who are satisfied
to follow, when guests the cold and
clear-cut code Of the social rule. Their
behavior Is so excessively correct and so
unpleasant.
AS q guest, you must be more than
merely correct. You must be kind; you
must be willing to sacrifice your comfort
and private preferences occasionally. 1t
Is your openly jealous endeavor to serve
them and to help entertain their guests
that lends your reputation among host
esses real luster and couples your name
everywhere with the word charm
Don't entertain the false notion that
you can accept inequalities with a view
to seeking only your own pleasure therein.
There Is the guest who will not exert
himself unless he feels that the occasion
merits a display of his prowess, or who
waits for others. and the hostess especial
~. to labor for his amusement. He is
too often mere deadwood in the draw
1ng-room, and eventually he is dropped
from invitation lists.
To prove yourself @ competent mem
Der Of society. keep it constantly in mind
that 1t makes not a particle of difference
whether. you are asked In for a cup of
tea or four course dinner at a neigh
DORIS house. you owe 1t to yourself and
you owe 1T to your hostess to make as
much effort for one sort of function as
for another.
Realize If you can that your presence
Is only acceptable when 1t adds to the
pleasure OF others
The PoIIteness Of kInss.
In all your dealings with hostesses, be
punctual. Hardness Is a common crime,
and one for which you are bound eventu-
ally to be punished. You must be very,
very great, or witty. or beautiful, to ven
ture to hustle In late to a formal enter
tainment with apologies that win you real
forgiveness.
The principle Of punctuality is the DO
likeness Of kings. Queen Victoria, when
she not infrequently, in her younger days,
went to drink tea with the cottagers on
her Scotch estate. appeared as exactly on
the stroke Of the hour appointed for the
humble entertainment as tho the time had
been set for court banquet or a presen-
tation OF peeresses at Buckingham palace
Upon one occasion the royal equipage
broke down, and her majesty, arriving at
the cottage tea table after the quite un-
avoidable delay Of ten minutes, offered as
fun and formal an explanation and apol-
ogy to her lowly and hattered entertainer
as II she had been a duchess, or even the
czarina Of Russia.
Queen Victoria knew the duties of a.
guest, and she did not allow the fact of
her own exalted position to alter their
fulhllment one jot.
There Is no more common and more rep
rehensible oversight than taking for
granted that the hostess does not appre-
ctate all these small thoughts of and for
her. She does. Neglect these little and
unwritten courtestes, and you may easily
blight your social career. The hostess
heart warns 10 the man or woman who is
SO studiously civil as to treat her slightest
offer Of hospitality with distinguished
courtesy, who answers her invitations
definitely and promptly, and who never
disappoints her or keeps her waiting.
Bring pleasant countenance and your