Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-11-02
CHAPTER III. VIEWED FROM THE OTHER SIDE.

E@3A%@&%N 1dtACA 0O 1 AOOA&6A GAAAA6 sS calmly than make the wisest possible decision by accident in state of mental confusion. This preference for rational conduct asserted itself strongly while was eating breakfast on the train. Having, finished the meal, I lit a cigar in the smoking compart- ment and sat down to think the thing out"
 It is possible to. be mistaken about the functions of the brain. The brain possesses a nominal authority It is the pilot, and the heart is the engineer The pilot rings the bell, but he doesn't stop the machinery. As it usually stops at his command, he grows into the pleasing belief that he controls it. Then comes the sad and awful day when he rings one bell to slow down, another to stop and two to back, but the wheels go on turning full speed ahead, It is no use swearing down the speaking tube, my friend. If there's no response to the beH, talking won't mend matters. Keep cool and enjoy the smash up. 1t is going to be good one. And hang on to the wheel. Though the craft be running away, you may be able to pick out a soft spot in the rocks.
 This crude little allegory will serve as a description of my entire day on that train. couldn't stop the emo tional part of my nature. It had ney- CT behaved sc before. had found out upon several occasions that I was be- coming too much interested, and some times had rung the bell a little late, but there had been no disasters This time there was one in plain sight, right ahead. For 1t was a perfect certainty that if I should meet Sibyl while my heart was in this condition should wreck every mutual prospect of our lives.
 It would be grossly unfair to her. Beyond doubt she must know of my fathers wish, and no stretch of mod esty could blind me to the fact that she must be in some small degree fa- yorably disposed toward me. Other wise she would have checked my ia ther's hopes. I could not think of Sibyl as humbly subservient in such a mat ter. So far as could remember her at all it seemed to me that as a child she had exhibited a remarkable strength and evenness of purpose. My father would be the last man in the world to break the will or eradicate the individ- uality of any child in his care. He was one who would read natuTe's plan and accept 1t for the best, striving only to see that 1t should be perfectly car ried out. So Sibyl would be girl with a mind of her own.
 Cho y,a.1S4 vsnrn mo n@ n0Trsea far better than I remembered her. I had changed somewhat to the eye, but the alteration was a vast improvement. She had been a keen child by all that my father used to tell me about her. No doubt she knew me very we'll. It was fair to assume that must in some sway have impressed her favorably, so that she could think of me with no very great rebellion when my father talked of me to her. Really it was hard for me to take that view, but there was. no other. Perhaps the child remember ed how used to sing to her one sum- mer when I was at home for week or two. She must have been 10 years old then, and she was very fond of music must have been, indeed, to stand my singing for two or three hours at stretch in the dark drawing room of an evening. It was always darRr for the child said that light spoiled mu- sic for her. Tn reality she was eEash- full and afraid that I would look at her, afraid that I would see the tears she shed at sentimental songs. I was singing heart breakers that summer, having suffered some slight damage in the matter of a young lady who mar ried another fellow.
 All of which is merely to say that Sibyl must have reconciled herself to me as a manifest destiny and that it would be utterly impossible for me to reconcile myself to her while my heart was raging for Anna Lamoine. should inevitably dislike her, especially as she could have no -trong personal attrac- tion, no charm 70 catch the eye. If she had possessed physical beauty, meeting her might wei! kzye set me right. for beauty counts at she start, and quali- ties are so slow.
 had no doubt that she was a splen- did woman in all that makes soul more luminous than the dull average.
 My father was sure of it, and really in all this internal struggle I was greatly influenced by his opinion. If he be- lieved that Sibyl was the ideal woman for me- she probably was. That's the fact about it, and never quite let go of that conviction. But that was in my head; my heart had conviction of its own, which was that I stood upon the
 verge of an awful mistake; my heart
 was afraid. It said to me: What are you doing here? Go find Anna La moine. You have a chance now. Why did she run away from New York as
 soon as you had told her, Tn effect, that l you were engaged to another girli 1 What was 1t that your friend Gushing thought was too badY Don't be so
 modest; the girl had begun to love you, i but while you're spending all this sum-
 mer trying to love somebody else what | will she be doing r
 The result of it all was that fell