The Saint Paul globe., 1903-03-01

what ar-re we goin' to do about the
coons?" asked Mr. Dooley.
What ought we to do about them?"
asked Mr.. Hennessey.
We've got to do something" said
Mr.. Dooley. Something's got to be
done Whin 1 was a young man ray
nllmber hearin' people talk iv boostin'
tn naygur up firm his lowly place as
an unforchnit slave an humorist an
maxim him as good as anybody an
better thin a German be givin' him a
vote. l didn't believe 1t because 1
was Dimmycrat an didn't believe
anything but Stephen A. Douglas. But
they used to say it JUS tn same an if
We didn't say it too, il was down to
Camp Douglas with ye be tn back iv
the neck as a pris'ner iv war Th'
Dimmycrats knew that a naygur with
vote wouldn't be a William Shakes
peare. 1t wuddan't take amy iv tn
dusk out iY his checks TO sind him
down to the liv'ry stablean lave him
stick an impeeryal ballot that he cud-
dent r-read into a box with a false
bottom. Can the camel change his
hump? as Hogan wud say. A naygur
with vote is a naygur with a vote,
an that's all he is. The Dimmycrats
knew that forty years ago. Histhry al
ways vindicates the Dimmycrats. but
niver in their life time. They see tn
thputh first, but tn throuble is that
naWthin' is iver officially thrue till
Raypublican sees it.
Tn naygur amt amy better off
this he was. Nobody is. But nearly
iVrybody iXpicted afther tn war that
ms locks Wud become golden at wanst
an that he wud soon get a Roman
nose. But here he is today lookin' list
as he did forty years ago. He amt
got amy more money, he amt amy
lighter in complexion an 1 sometimes
doubt whether he's amy happyer thin
he was Wh1n they was talIin his darlin'
Nelly Grey away firm him an he'd
n1Ver see her more till they met in the
Jim Crow siction iV hiven. Down in
the merry chilavrous Southland no
basket picnic is complete unless a
naygur is depindin' firm tn shrubbery.
Up here in this free North iv ours
where tn Wurruds of Windell Phillips
is still soundin' in tn air we don't
see amy naygurs marryin' into our
ladln families. We welcome him as
our akel in all rayspicts but none iv
our conservative prize fighters Will nut
on tn gloves with him.
so 1 say, somethin's got to be done
fr him, but what it is 1 dinnaw. Tiddy
Rosenfelts idee is to glad hand him up
to higher plane. All we've got to do
to make him the akel iv his white
brother Is to give him job an have
Preparations Is bein' made f'r th' din
ner to tn Royal Knights Of the Ordher
iV Oryental Splendher iv PaZaZas.
whose president is the Hon'rable Eyre
gious Gass, iy Allybama- A wagon load
tv pullets an hams was delivered yis-
terdah at TIL White house. Th' dinner
Will be followed be q musical at which
tn prisidint an Sinator Hanna will
sing a duet. Both statemen win black
up in honor liz thscomp'ny. Th, prisi-
dint has appinted Hon'rable Lucullus
Buffins, the we'll known naygur orather,
to be marshal at Pianola, Miss. Frinds
tV the family ar-re kindly rayquisted
to omit flowers. Immediately on ray
ceiVin' his commission as postmaster iv
Ozaloo, Louisiyany, th' Hon'rable Nay
poiyon Bliggs, tn cillybrated naygur
aggytater, took tn night thrain to th'
North. In spite iv the lateness If th'
hour large number iv Misther Bliggs'
fellow citizens escorted him to tn
thrain. They wud not permit him to
walk but insisted on carryin' him on
two -be-four restin' on their shoulders
Misther Bliggs eXpicts to spind some
time in tn North whin he will consult
prominent surgeon an have tn feath-
ers eXthracted.
But tn throuble with this here plan
Is that tn higher ye boost tn naygur
be askin' him up to the White house
tn farther he has to fall whin he gets
about two blocks south iv the White
house. Wan iv our dusky fellow citi-
zens comes out firm a meal with tn
pristdint an cake walks to a car. He
is not puffed up with tn rayciption
Not at all. TIL av'rege chest measure
mint iv colored gintleman who has
had three or four fish balls with tn
prisidint is rarely over wan hundred
and eighty inches. So he modestly
sthruts over to a-car, takes a seat, puts
firm him an says in a diferinchaI yell
to Confederate colonel mex to him:
White pusson. give this here frind iv
tn prisidint a light firm ye'er see gar
An whin he comes to his leg is on
fire.
Me frinds down South don't believe
In this way iv iliyatin' tn coon. They