The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1903-09-25

Presently he had to go out INTO wv
| scullery to fetch his slippers, a thing thas
his wife had always hitherto done. Anu
when he retired to rest that night ne
was in a decidedly dissatisfied frame OF
mind
Much the same sort of thing happened
the lex evening and the evening a1ter
that, though, Mrs. Sylvester has since
| said, It was as much as she could 90 70
refrain from departing from the couhsel
Of the council and making Hugh SIT down
while she waited and fused over RIM:
hut. luckily. she perscvered. On the
Thursday night. though, came the crown
ing stroke of all.
When MIR. Sylvester reached home he
found a note stating that his wife had
| gone shopping with Mrs. Gheesborough,
and would not be back until about D
o'clock.
The note went on to say that there was
| some steak in the larder. and the potatoes
and green's were all ready for boiling on
the gas stove. Mr.. Sylvester was abso-
lutely d~umbfounded; such a thing had
never happened before. Blu still, there
was only one thing to do. so he got to
work.
How to be happy though married" he
| groaned, as he hoped round the kitchen
on one foot-the other having unfortu-
nately got in the way of the frying pan
| which he had upset; he had also burnt his
fingers in his attempt to save 1t.
But he eventually got the steak In the
| frying pan. and lit the gas under 1t. Then
1t occurred to him tina he had seen his
wife put grease into the frying pan when
she was cooking. Whereupon he ski
mished for grease.
After some trouble he found q CUP
standing on a shelf in the harder, which
he pounced upon.
"Ha! The very thing" he cried. I'm
s1re lard is greasy.
Then he placed a large portion in with
the steak, and turned the gas on full UNI
der the meat and vegetables.
The meat smelt very peculiar AS 1t was
cooking. ana while Mr.. Sylvester rushed
to the door to answer a tradesman. the
steak became q glorious black color. How
ever, he placed it on a hot plate in the
oven to keep warm while the vegetables
cooked.
Presently he came to the conclusion
that they had cooked long enough. and
removed both saucepans into the scullery
Here ne attempted to pour the water off.
with the result that half went up his
sleeve. and. with an agonlzlng yell, he
dropped the whole affair.
Potatoes flew everywhere: Mr.. Sylvester
spoke fluently. However. he collected as
many as ha possibly could. and placed
them with the steak and cabbage.
Reckon the drains must be out OF or
der" he muttered, as he carried his din
ner into the dining room.
He arrayed himself at the table and set
to work on the food before him with
much gusto. Suddenly he gave vent to an
exclamation OF disgust. then he groaned
and swanted to die.
Slowly he staggered to the armchair
and fell into it. all the time moaning in
an agonlzing manner. II
| IT, TD 4h~l r,ilrk III, as .4- -
gazed at him in terrified surprise. Then
she rushed across to him.
"Hugh!" she cried. Whatever is the
natter"
Feebly he pointed to the dinner and
groaned out:
I've been poisoned. Madge. Oh. let me
die In peace,"
"Wha do you mean. Hugh?" she asked
In concerned tones. Then she commenced
to sniff. and cried:
Whatever nave you been doing with
beeswax, Hugh?'
"BeeswaS?" he moaned. 'Nhen?r
Then she suddenly glanced at his plate
and saw that the gravy, now nearly cold,
was fast setting in a white mass. Then
She bent and smelt 1t.
Why she cried, you've got beeswax
here"
That's lard" he feebly demonstrated.
Il got it out Of the cupboard"
wife.
Yes"
why, that was beaswaxn oh. or;a;
"Oh!'
With a Shrek of dIsmay he rushed from
the room, about half an hour after
ward returned, very pale and white, but
quite well again. His appearance SO up.
set Madge that the councils counsel was
quite forgotten: but then, of course. he
was an invalid that night.
however. I happened to call round there
~ lons ago. and surprised Sylvester in
the act of bringing up more coal and ba
was Whlstling oyer 1t. too. And no longer
IS Madge simply Mr.. Sylvester's wife. nor
does Mr.. Sylvester still imagine himself
a little tin god, but they are one of the
happiest couple l know.