The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-05-21
Short Stories

leader. cracked a few Jokes with states
men while he was in Washington. Sen
ator Frye said to him: when | was
in London ] was much interested in
your organization. In fact I thought of
joining" Better not" said the gen
eral; you would not submit to our dis
cipline." Senator Alger said he under
stood Hanna intended to join. "Ah,
should make him chancellor Of the ex-
cheQuer," was the revivalist's reply.
Senator Hoar was introduced jocularly
as ''the worst man in the senate"
"That's good said the general, heart
lily. 81 want TO meet all kinds. The
bad want to help and the good want
to help me-"
A polite Interchange between Colonel
Pete Hepburn of Iowa and General
Charles H. Crosvenor of Ohio on the
floor Of the house:
General Grosvenor-The gentleman
from Iowa does not believe that any
public man was ever sincere or honest
in his advocacy of a proposition, and
always looks around for selfish mo-
tive. That is because the gentleman
himself has no other standard of moral
ity than that.
Colonel Hepburn draw the line
somewhere; draw it at Ohio people. l
do not propose to hold the gentleman
from Ohio responsible for what he has
said. I recognize the fact that l my
self am getting old ard that some day
I will be senile.-New York Herald.
A New York woman who was visiting
friends in Washington says that she
overheard the following conversation
between her host and the colored but
Ter:
James, I expect some friends this
afternoon, and want you to attend to
the door,
"Yassum, should like to oblige you,
but | shOly can't today"
"Why not?" asked the mistress of the
household with some asperity.
Il dun got an gagement-very i'm
portant miss-very important"
''But you shouldn't have made an en-
gagement without consulting me. You
will have to postpone it,
Deed, ma'am, shO' would be glad
to, but l can't nohow," was the answer.
Eyes, you can," said the woman, now
thoroughly vexed. ANY engagement
can be postponed"
''Yassum, know that" said the but
Ter, but a sholy has to go to this one
My brother is gwine to be hung, and
feels though I had to go."-New York
Mail and Express.
An. amusing incident is related re-
garding Mr.. John D. Rockefeller and
his barber. For the latter Mr. Rookie
Teller has not much use, as he is almost
entirely bald and shaving is a rare
luxury. Mr. Rockefeller, recently te1e-
phOned for his barber to come to his
Fifth avenue residence, but for what
purpose the barber was ignorant. The
rich man said he wanted to be shaved"
The barber smiled and prepared to do
as he was told. He found a few stray
hairs on Mr.. Rockefeller's upper lip,
but the latter said cit felt like good old
times" to again feel the lather on his
face.-Boston News Bureau.
When Chaplain Russell of the Mis-
souri, house prays he wants the men,
bers to give attention. His prayers be-
ing sent up especially for them, he
thinks it unseemly for them not to lis
ten. Having observed that the mem
bers cid not attend to what he said the
Rev Mr.. Russell waited the following
| petition up to the throne of grace few
mornings ago:
20, Lord, l ask that those in this
house who rise to their feet for prayer
may not continue to read on their pa
pers while the chaplain prays. Grant
that they may have some respect for
God If they have not for the chaplain
Kansas City Journal.
Senator Depew-he was only "Chaun-
cey' then-once told a story about the
late Senator Oglesby-dear old simple
hearted Uncle Dick"
| Once, when Oglesby was governor of
| Illinois, he was one of delegation of
| Westerners who went to Washington
in the hope Of influencing certain legis-
| lation, which, though inimical to Great
Britain, was believed by many people
in the West to be of decided advantage
| to their part of this country.
The governor had few Eastern SEN
ators in the corner, and was Grating to
them in that fiorid style which became
! him whenever he warned to a subject
| His face was red with earnestness and
| words came pouring from him like balls
from Calling gun. But they fell
against armOr plate, on which they
made no impression.
why, Governor" said one of the
| seaboard senators, within 80 days after
we had passed such a measure Great
Britain would have fleet of gunboats
over here shelling New York.
''Let them come, sir Let them
comet" The governor flung out his
chest and shook his fist in the air. "Illi-
nois alone would send hundred thou
sand men, sir, to meet and sink them as
fast as they hove in sight"
Just how Uncle Dick expected to send
his glorious army out to the British
ships has never TRANSFERRED In those
days there were no automobiles, even
Brooklyn Eagle.
In his "Recollections," Aubrey de
We're tells of an Irishman he met in
Switzerland, with whom patriotism was
so truly mania that every word in
praise of the scenery about him seemed
a distinct aspersion on the land of his
birth. What can you compare here"
he demanded with the mountains of
Wick1OW2'' 'FPorh +rouo1or