The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-10-18
FUN oF-THE WORLD.


Sir Michael Herbert the transient visitor from
Washington 10 New York, according Post, was
genial soul. but had that stedginess hnaor
have become accustomed assocaring Englshmen
The ambassador dinner or
me claos In Washington not many months before his
DEATH and was to be followed the speakers list by
Rear Admiral Charles Beresfora
I am TO be followed by little sailor man. OBJ
served Sir Michael after extremely Fictitious speech
m more serofus vein. least he sailor.
believe he is engaged at the pastering bust
ness
There little polite laughter from those who felt
sure that joke intended while others waited
leving that the final touch come
see you don't understand my joke. said the am
bassador, taking in the situaton he is en-
gagged in eementing the good relations between
and America"
ssg
Writing headlines for newspaper is something Of
fine art said Senator Dolliver to reporter for the
Portland oresonian recently. good headline
Internationally is a mighty valuable on his paper.
headline came near being my undoing once Back
along the New England coast somewhere Is rather dan
reach Of land on the charts as Delivers
Neck a big storm raging along the coast once
just at the time having hot campaign IN Iowa
The temperance people are pretty strong in that state
Well. on the morning election picked up a PAPER
and then jumped about feet straight up A line
across the top of the front page bold black letters
read: Five sehooners Gone Down at Delivers Neck.
<
4 pretty rosy-eheeked country girl entered one Of
Phiadephias large department day last week
IL was bargain day and the greater than
ual She had wandered about floor 20 floor little
bewildered the magnitude the establishment the
largest she had seen.
Seeing her. floor walker approached and said. is
anybody waiting on you? according Philadelphia
Ledger.
sir" said the girl blushing to the roots Of her
faxen hair; hes outside; he wouldn't come in
x Z
James r. Mack the attorney tells this "Reminiscences
through the Philadelphia Ledger of his practice
Ohio:
'one Sam Johnson negro was indicted in Cincin-
natl, charged with the theft of johnson was stiff
necked for the only witness against him a man OF
his color and 'one nisgers word is as good as
Inuthers. said Sam. He'll swar did. an III swar I
didn't The UP trial. and the indictment
was read: The state of Ohio against Samuel Johnson
e listened Johnson grew nervous and at the de-
mand of the counsel assigned him.
YUAN honah' said Johnson, Is rot been treated
right, nohow. toubht dar only niger ganst
me- and heahs he whole state OBJ Ohio. feared
OBJ dat nigser wat hook ham. Use got no
show De whole blame 'gainst mes too much
Yessir, took the ham. pleads guilty. But I'd like to
know whar all the watchers hdin, 1 suttinly
would &"
zgsz
Senator Dubois Of Idaho, during the days when he
was practicing law in Boise City, certain
sion sernly reprmanded by judge court in that
city because of alleged contempt court and in add
tion was fined in the of $50 relates the New
Evening Post.
The next day. according to a custom followed in the
Idaho courts the Judge called upon 10 occupy
the bench for him during the transaction
paratvely unimportant business After judges
from the Mr. Dubois exhibited an in
stance of that remarkable presence for which
he has been noted The future said
clerk of the
Turning the record this court for yesterday Mr.
Clerk will observe recorded fine of $50 against one
Frederick T. Dubois You will kindly make a note to
the effect that such fine has been RENTED
the court"
ZEE ZEE
When Joseph E. McCullagh was alive and editor Of
the St Louis Globe Democrat he annoyed by a
Der of the staff who continually late the Sstur
day Evening Post. This young arrived from half
hour to hour and half after reporting time each
day. but he always had He oversight they
the kind happened
Finally McCullagh issued order than no more ex-
cuses would be accepted and that unless young
in he be discharged.
And the very day was tardy again by
forty-hve minutes He to Mr. McCullagh
Well" said McCuagh. you know what is going to
Il suppose So" the young man replied but I assure
you it wasn't my fault"
aga ss
You have put in about every possible excuse" said
McCulagh, but before fire you 1 would like TO know
just for curiosity. what your excuse is"
1t was this way" said the young II got up
early. determined to get to the Office time I 20
negro barber shop to be shaved When the barber
half through band along, couldn't resist
the impulse to follow almost an hour before
he came back. and had to wait for him.
you another chance you write fiction for the
Sunday paper"
gEas
Mrs Carrie Nation in the city yesterday.
did nothing to disturb the Sunday quiet declares the
New York Times The reformer from Kansas was regis
tered the Hotel Hygea West Twenty-sxtb street
as Carrie Il. Nation Home Defender Topeka Kansas
She came here bushes strip only thing radical
that Mrs Nation INDUCED IN yesterday TO loudly
denounce Autograph poster advertising ST. Louis
exposition that hangs IN the hotel poster are the
pictures Of Secretary John Hay President Francis Of the
exposition and other prominent
See that" said the erstwhie wie5er Of tho Ratchet
pointing at the poster. well it IS nothing but co aa-
vertisement for beer those themselves 70
such scheme shame them.' jest thea without
knowing the Identity Of the the daughter
Of Dir Christian. q the proprietors the hofe
sat down At the piano poured cut Down where
the Wurzburger Flows
EzsE
The shrubvIie Clarion has editor who tries let
let the grass under his feet. says CON-
panon Ills celebrity heFs him 70 acquire baf u
is also the cause II occasional paragraph lge
following. taken from
Last week the particular of derss'sfl-g
IRE n the town II Jeukns with iafnss
tbe victims We wish 70 correct fe~ lascers-
cies such VIII sometimes End thelf way ars.
report OF any catastrophe
There victims for re cenaazrats1u vza
checked before It actually took place