The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-09-06

SPARKS.
,sssss.sss
Hiawatha on Yacht Racinp.

81 49, [NNN~@6H
Racing yachts. said Hiawatha.
Strikes me as n silly custom
Wakes me think that men are foolish
When they put their good hard money
into boats that run By sailing.
When they could make better progress,
raster travel through the water,
BY installing a steam engine.
o by getting them a motor
hun by gasoline or naphtha.
Why depend on tickle breezcs
When you may be independent
Ihese cup races also strike me
As "a bit OF rank unwisdOm-
Here we have this good tea merchant
Blowing money that he's gathered
BY a life of strict attention
TO the details of his business.
Now he's spent a COB Of money.
Blown I'm quite a decent fortune,
TRYING Go get On his clutches
This old mug they call the trophy
Does he need IL iu his business:
Not AT al. Tie does not need H.
For Onc-tenth of what he's s~qUandcrcd
in his effort to escort IL
To his home across the water.
To the eager hands hat niger
For something that would establish
They had won at least N contest
From the people of America.
Three times has This good tea merchant
Fed himself against the buzz saw,
Three times has he put no money
Trying to get back that trophy
And three times he's failed to get it.
Still finds a little comfort
In the game of racing sailboats.
1t has furnished some amusement
For that ennuied class of people
Who get tired doing nothing.
Who get weary Of their resting,
Who seek nothing but diversion
tt has given these poor people.
These poor slaves Of idle fashion,
Who do naught but dress and oabhle
OF themselves and of their neiEhbCrS,
Something to break up the drcary
Monotone of summer living
BY ATTENDING the Yacht races
Also. it has warned the public
That thts bOat-raCing tea merchant
Still has tea upon the market,
Still invites all to consume it,
Best Of all, il is expensive
To build boats TO go cup chasing
1t has put large sums of money,
Plenty coin In circulation.
Thus we fird the situation;
Thus my children. let us leave It.
Let the merchant chase the yacht cup,
Let him chase till he is weary.
Let him frOwn upon advancement
Let him scorn the good steam engine,
Let him turn down gas and uaphtha,
Let him fool along with sailboats.
It's his money. let him blow it.
Let him blow il tin he weartes.
While we still thiuk he Is foolish,
It's his business: it's not ours.
If he thinks the game is worth it,
Let him blow another million.
lust so long as he continues
To release the golden ducatS.
We viii call him a good fellow.
We will give him lovely bauquets,
We will buy him much fine silver
We will try TO get him thinking
He still has a show to win II.
Still may get the yachting trophy
If the after life Of that young couple
who will be married Labor day is like
of most married folks, they viii
find every day is labor day hereafter,
Should some of the typhoid cases be
traced TO the article the milkmen sell,
X would still be no cinch that water is
not responsible for all the disease.
Since Sir Thomas feels so good about
it, there is no reason why we should
any sympathy on him. Sir
Thomas appears to be a sturdy sort of
person, anyway, and is not looking for
sympathy.
The Reliance's victory in the third
is all the more remarkable when
one considers that the finish was made
in true London weather.
If that vein of coal recently uncov-
cred nea Evanston proves to be all
it appears TO be, there are prob
ably endless labor troubles in sight for
Wyoming.
If Kid Curry is really at large some
in Montana he will be glad TO
know that the whole state is swarm
with deputies and Pinkerton de
~tectives in search of him, and will no
doubt be glad to witness the swarm
from behind some friendly rock.
Colombia, We learn, like Spain, has a
pondeTous national dignity" which the
United States has offended by trying
to talk business in regard TO the ca
nal.
The language of the insurgents proc
in Macedonia suggests that a
writer for a yellow Sunday supplement
is among the ranks Of the insurrec-
t~iOnists.
Well, the suspense Will likely be over
by the 1st Of October. The federal
grand jury investigating the postofice
trouble expects to complete its report
by that time.
The Turkish troops have now for
feited all claims for consideration by
threatening a newspaper man with
death. thus proving themselves to be
not above the Pennypacker class.