The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-04-01
Men, Women
and Things

70 make a strong man shudder, so re-
| I IrI are the fruits of the inquiry.
ne most appalling of the revelations
Ildoe Is that nearly all of the persons
| % examined were found to detest
! cleanliness. They wash their hands
| ana may at times administer a dab of
| water 10 their faces. but they evince
! determined opposition to baths. To
| De wet all over is to them an eccen-
| tIlclly against which these estimabIe
olu people set their faces. Another
| thlng with which they will have Moth
Ing to do is fresh air. Now. Dure air
| ana plenty of it is one of the rules OF
! health which is insisted uDOn nv
| physicians. Another thing which was
! learned about these octogenarians is
that they are not total abstainers.
| Shades of the W. G. T. u One Of
the old women confessed that she
| couldn't live unless she got drunk three
! times week. Some of them may fair
! ~ be said to be preserved in alcohol
! one thing was firmly established by
| the investigation and that is that i'll
| ventilated rooms and dirt are preserva-
| tives of human life. Is it possible that
our porcelain tubs areS shortening our
| days? All Americans will agree that
II Is better to keep clean and live a
! snort time than to be encrusted in
art and live to ripe old age.
The Natural Playwright.
Mr. Clyde Fitch is an excellent ex-
ample of the modern dramatist He
writes a play while the manager waits,
| ana II IS put on the next night. He
| mas produced about forty-fiVe new
| plays during the last two years and
! they We're one and all startling sue
| ceSSes. You see they are so natural. so
true to life. Given a wife who is in
| love with her husband and only fancfes
! she's In love with another fellow; a
| husband who occasionally takes a
! drink; an automobile which goes very
! fast when off the stage, and a maid
| who talks too much, and the villain in
| the person of the man with whom the
| wife Is supposed to be in love, and you
have all the ingredients of a Fitch play
! TO be we'll shaken before taken. Mr.
! Fitch always introduces some home
! like incident that makes the audience
| feel that he knows life; either the hus-
| band comes home a little unsteady and
! kisses the maid (and his wife behind
the door,, or the baby is baptized right
out before everybody on the stage Mr..
| FitCh's work is before everything else
! natural. He does not strain after eff
| fects, but he takes life just as he finds
| 1t and transfers it to the stage There
| is really no need Of there ever being
any more playwrights, for Mr.. Fitch
is quite capable of writing all the
! plays that we will ever need.
What Ais EN-.
AT last we know what is the matter
| with the young men of the country
| They have cardiac hypertrOphy. This
! IS not stated on hearSay, but is the
| sworn statement OF Il doctor before
| the supreme court Of the state of New
! York. 1t all came from the examina-
ton of the heart action of a young
man who was suing a railroad and
during the case it developed that not
! only he, but most young men have
cardiac hypertrOphy. In his case there
was no murmur nor reorganization, but
there was hypertrophy. It comes from
| golf and athletics generally, and is
described as a thickening of the heart
muscles. This is terrible to think of,
| and is question not only for the
young men themselves but for the
| young women who may be interested
| in them. Thickening of the heart
BODIES i'll for the summer girl. Some
thing should be done about it at once.
Beans Are Filling.
! A woman in New York has made the
| interesting discovery that beans are
more filling than oatmeal. The way
| she came to make the discovery is more
| interesting yet She had accomplished
the feat of feeding herself and two
| children on Is cents a day for five
| years, and in the course of that time
| had learned several things about diet.
Her husband, who appeared to be q
very we'll to do man, had made the
| munif1icent allowance of 10 cents a day
| for his family in order that he might
| save. Now his wife desires him to in
crease the allowance, as he is about to
! come into the possession Of over 81 100
! an investment of his savings" One
| would think a woman would admire
the thrift of such a noble man and be
| willing to go on living on onions, beer
| and beans. For breakfast she had
| onions and bread, for dinner bread and
| onions, and for supper beer, onions and
| bread. Now. any woman who can't
! get along on that fare and on the
| thought that she is allied to a thrifty
and saving husband who will prob
| ably go home to Sweden with the
| money he has saved, while his wife
can stay here and enjoy the thought
| Of what a good time he will have. is
hard to suit. Some women are so
selfish.
Hetty Green's Purp.
Mrs. Hetty Green has clashed with
| the police. We have thought for some
! time that it would be strange if, sooner
| or later, Mrs. Hetty did not fall into
! the hands Of the authorities ANY
| woman who has as much money as
I
| ought to be arrested on general prin-
! clples. But the way in which Mrs.
| Hetty has at last been caught is the
| tale of dog. She owns a puppy which
| is very precious in her eyes, and vet
according to the HOboken authorities
she has not paid the necessary 81 which
would make puppy a recognized and IL
censed member of the community. So
| 1t was decided to lay in wait for the
! feminine -milliOnairess. and break
| to her gently that she must part with
! two Of her hard earned dollars IL
| she would keep puppy. But is is diff
| cult to catch great woman nap-
/ ping and when she returned to her
| New Jersey residence Gn which she
| lives to avoid the taxes of Manhattan
and was informed Of the state of af
| fairs, she said that she had puppy
| licensed in New York, where he spent
! hts~days. The HOboken people insist
! that another license must be taken
| out in HObOken, where he spends his
| nights, but Mrs. Hetty could not hear
| of that, and indeed she ought not to
| be asked to pay it. Two dollars ia
! probably the family allowance for food
| for the next month, and to take the
food out Of the Green mouths is NOT
| to be thought Of. Mrs Hetty must nof
be made to touch her principal. #
might work harm to the various chart
table institutions to which she doubt
less intends to leave her wealth.
st. Paul, April 1. 1903.