davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03

stead of hanging about saloons to get drinks. He just raked me from top to bottom and from right to left in way yo' never did see, and the crowd ap- plauded him and looked to see me drop dead or skip the town. What do yo' think of that, colonelT
 'sShoo, shoo!' replied the colonel in tones of mingled astonishment and pity. But I'm not dead, colonel, and I haven't skipped. I'm still right yere, and it won't be ten days befo' I'll be on top the whole crowd of 'em. Yere's my hand, Colonel Harper. Put it thar"
 "W-what is it, .Abe?' queried the colonel as he extended his hand.
 five got lem, colonel got the Pike county scandalizers right under my thumb, and befo' they are week older they'll hear something drop with a smash. That's what want-want lem to pitch into me. The mo they pitch the quicker I'll get to the top"
 What yo' got up yo'r sleeve, AbeT"
 Colonel Harper, how long did yo' cot yo'r wife befo' being married, if I may ask r'
 b.
 That's about the average. Yo' put in, say, ten hours week. That's low estimate, but call it ten. That's over 8 thousand hours to the average co'tship. Whats the value of yo'r time per hour?"
 ''We might say 50 cents, I reckon" ."We'll call it only half that, colonel, and still we find yo' used up $261 worth of time co'ting yo'r wife. Same with eighteen million other men in this coun- try. That figures up hundreds of mil lions of dollars, enough to pay all the taxes and buy every widow woman a diamond ring to boot. Do yo' foller me, colonel?'
 'skassly. Abe. Would yo' do away with the co'ting?"
 "I'd do away with a heap of it, colo nel, and it would be just as well for both sexes. Make law ag'in co'ting over two hours or half a day at most. Might be half day in case of very young gal. Time saved is money saved. Instead of co'ting around yo' can be blowing the land, hoeing con or work ing at something else, and the gal can be churning or washing or making her clothes. Makes saving both ways, yo' sec I've thought it all out by myself, and I'm going to copyright the plan. How does it strike yo' for an idea, colo nel?"
 Better let lem cot for at least four or five Sunday nights" suggested the colonel as flood of pleasant recollec- tions rushed across his mind.
 "All right, all right Make it even ten Sunday nights, and then yo' save $1O0O00,O00 year to buy sealskin sacks for the widows of America. Yes; ten Sunday nights, and''-
 s"And what, Abe?'
 "Did yo' say we'd stop over to Toms and wet our whistles? We'll, being it's yo', colonel, and being leetle plain whisky never did hurt nobody, | don't mind if do -don't mind in the least."
 M., QUAD.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
TIME TABLE.
HIGHLAND DIvrsIoN.


 Trains leave Meadow street station for Boston, Hartford and way stations at zoo and S:38 .m.; 12:3S, 3:SO. 9s01 y. hn. eF
 Trains arrive at Meadow street sta- ton from Boston, Hartford and way stations at S:05, II 40 a. m-: 1:46. GRO and z:3s D. m.
 nains leave Meadow street station Tor New York. Fishkili Landing. Dan- bury and way stations at S:13 a: m. and l:5O and 6:24 D. m. Tra1ns arrive at Meadow street sta, slon from New York, Fishkill Landing, DanDury and way stations at 6:36 a. m.; l2.34 and S.04 D. m.
 SUNDAY TRAINS.
 Leave Meadow street station at S:S0. 2. 1O;O5 a. m.; 200, 5.O5 and zoo p. m. S
 Arrive at Meadow street station at e:oO. 11:3O a. m.; 4:50, 6:50 and S:5e p. m.
 MERTDEN BRANCH
 Trains leave Dublin street station for Middletown and way stations at 9:05 a. m. and 6:15 D. m. Trains arrive at Dublin street station from Middletown and way stations at 1:5O a. m. and 3:58 D. m. ~ Trains leave Dublin street station
 
 700, S:43, 11:10 a. m.. 1:5O, 4.01 D. m. Trains arrive at Dublin street stu [ ton from New Haven by way. of Cheshire at 9:S3 a. m.: 1:05, 8.20, 8.0O, 7:45 D. m. SUNDAY TRAINS. Leave Dublin street station for New Haven by way of Cheshire at 7:50 a. l m.: 5:50 D. m. Arrive ar Dublin street station from New Haven by way Of Cheshire at O:50 a. n.: s:50 D. n. NAUGATUCK DIVISION. Trains leave Bank street station for New York Bridgeport. New Haven and other places south. at 6:35, .7:55. 1o:52 a. m.; TAO. 3:05. LAO, e:15 and 500 D. m.
 Trains Arrive at Bank street station | from New. York Bridgeport New Ha- ven and way stations at TIA. s.23. l 9:05. 10:5S a. m.; 1:24, $40, 5:20,> 6:30, | GAS. S:4S p. m.: 12:39 a. m. l Trains leave Bank street station foe 1 Winsted and way stations at S:25. | fo:59 a. m.; 3:41, 5:22 (Waterville on- | ly,. 6:4S and S:4S D. m. Trains arrive at Bank street station from winsted and way stations af 6 :35 7:55, 10:52 a. m.; 3:05, 5:4T Water vflle) 6:lo p. m. Trains leave Bank street station for watertown and way stations at 6:4h S:2S, 11O3 a. m.; i 80. 3:t5s 5:10, 6:i2, ] 6:53, S.5S and II 20 D. m. Trains arrive at Bank street station frons watertown and way stations nt $40. TAT, 1O:31 a. m.: 1 :0O,. 2:58, 4:3O, t5:52. 6.is. 7:45. 11:16 p. m SUNDAY TRAINS.
 Leave Bank street station for New York. Bridgeport and New Haven at 7:O5. $50 a. m.; 1:30, 5:13 and 500 D. m.
 Arrive at Bank street station from ! New York, Bridgeport and New Haven l at 9:53 a. IT,; 1:13, 7:5o 9:35 r. n.
 Leave Bank street station for Water town and way stations at 9:58 a. m and S:O3 D. m. | Arrive at Bank street station from watertown and way stations at d:6t | n. r1l and 4:5S D. m.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
PIKE COUNTY
 DOINGS
Colonel Harper Hears of a Good Thing From Abe Shorter @ @

LCopyright. 1903. by c. B. Lewis-1 ~ OLONEL HARPER had been
 down to the railroad depot
 @ to see about shipping some
 mules to St. Louis and was on his way back to the postoffice when Abe Shorter suddenly appeared before him and said:
 Upon my word, Colonel Harper, but I'm glad to see yo' this mawnin'- powerful glad. Just thinking about yo' two minutes ago"
 "Howdy, Abe?'' replied the colonel as he extended his hand.
 I'm still alive, thank you. How's mewls, colonel?"
 "'Bout so so. Abe. No great iutter in the market"
 And con, colonelY
 Cons leetle stiffer, jest leetle." ''I reckoned mewls and con was all right, but I didn't know. Colonel
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
A Labor Question.

What are you feeding to those hogs, my friend?' the professor asked.
 Corn, professor the grizzled old farmer, who knew the learned gentle man by sight, replied.
 "Are you feeding it wet or dry?"
 "Dry."
 Don't you know if you feed it wet the hogs can digest it in one-half the timeT'
 The farmer gave him quizzical look. "Now, see here, professor,Is he said, "how much do you calculate 8 hogs time is worth -Lippincott's.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
The Future of Niagara Falls.

| The face of Niagara is retreat1ng southward, worn away by the im- mense volumes of water that pass un- ceasingly over the edge of the precipice.
 If the quantity of water which is doing this work remains the same as now the front of the falls will have reached the north end of Grand island in 5000 years. This is the prediction made by
 Professor John NJ. Clark, paleontologist of the state of New York, says liar per's Weekly. His conclusions as to the future of the. great falls are that the entire flow of waters to the north will have ceased and the river have run back into Lake Erie, leaving the escarpment dry at point not very far south of Goat island. $500 years hence.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
Ample Revenge.

When young Spoonamore called on the society favorite, the lovely Miss Welloph, she sent down word that she was 'indisposed.'
 Thereupon, when young Spoonamore went away, he pinned card on the outer frame of the front door on which he had hastily written this inscription: Belle out of order."' Chicago Tribune.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
Holding Her Down,

Miss Loveylipz-He said my mouth was like "a cleft honeycomb." Wasn't that sweetf
 Miss Chellus-M yes, but honey comb doesn't look very neat or pretty when it's split open, you know.-Phil- adelphia Press.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
Fatal Brevity.

s'What got Gopher Jim into trouble" remarked Three Finger Sam, twas hearin' somebody say that breyity is the soul of wit.''
 Did his humor fail to pleaseg'
 t'It was the death of him. He boiled the word mendacity down to one sylla ble." Washington Star.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
Working Backward.

9- W0FNEM8 BaCKWMFWs l tsDid you ask her fatherT ssI did"
 sWhat did he sayf'
 "He said yes"
 ''Then that settles it."
 ''Not much it doesn't. Now I've got to ask the girl" Cleveland Plain Deal- er
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
THINK OF TT.

A good Crayon for 9Sc at the Boston Installment Co.'S. Pictures, Crayons and pastels a speciality. Repairing frames at reasonable prices. Tele- phone 1855. Prompt attention always.
 B. M. HERMAN. Mgr,
 127 North Fam St.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
A Certafn sfrnincance.

Do you regard money as the su- preme test of success?" asked the man with the artistic temperament.
 "No," answered the practical person. , "but the absence of it is a pretty sure sign of failure Washington Star
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
Nc Trouble.

Anxious Mother-W Willie, dear, do you ever have any trouble with the other little boys at school?
 Willie Nav. lick oIe of 'em ev- cry once in awhile, but that aiil't the least Dit os txonbie Chicago Tribune.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
See OUT Friday Night'S Adv.
FIRE ALARM.
4-Cor South Main ana siranu sts. 6-Scovill Manufacturing Go (P)
 G- R,.isl kEn1 sx4s

4-Cor South Main ana Eranu sts.
 b-Scovill Manufacturing Go (P.l
 6-Cor Bridge and MagiIl sts.
 7-Exchange Place.
 12-Rogers X Bro tP.D
 13--Cor East Main and Niagara sts. 14-Cor East Main and Wolcott road. l6-Cor Cor High and Walnut sts. 16-Cor Fact Main and Cherry sts. 17-Cor East Main and Cole sts. 21-Cor North Elm and Kingsbury sts 23-Burton street engine house. M-Waterbury Manufacturing Go P) 25-Cor North Main and North sts. 26-Cor Buckingham and Cooke sts. 27-Cor Grove and Prospect sts. 2S-Cor Hillside avenue anc Pine sts. 29-Cor Ludlow and N. Willow sts. 31-Cor Bank and Grand sts.
 32-Cor Riverside and Bank sts. 85-Conn By 6 L't'g Go. car h'se (P1 S6-Waterbury Brass Go P)
 37-Cor Cedar and Meadow sts. 88-Cor Grand and Field sts.
 42-Cor South Main and Clay sts. 43-New England Watch Go (P, 45-Benedict & Burnham Mfg Go. P1 46-Waterbury Buckle Co. (P) 47-Cor s. Main and Washington sta 61-Cor Baldwin and River sts.
 b2-Cor Franklin ana Union sta. S3-Waterbury Clock Go, case fac. .nl 54-Cor Clay and Mill stS.
 56-Cor Liberty and River sts.
 67-No 5 hose house. 6S-Cor Baldwin and Stone sis.
 62-Cor Doolittle alley and Dublin ss. 72-Cor West Main and Willow sts. 73-North Willow st, cor Hillside. 74-Cor Johnson and Watervilie sis. 142-Wolcott st. beyond Howard. i62-Cor East Main and we1ton sts. 212-The P7att Bros O. P) Buckle Go. R1 2 214-Waterbury Clock Go. na'v't fac fp, 216-Cor North Main and Grove sis. 251-Cor Round Hill and Ward sis. 261-Junction Cooke and N Main sts 272-Grove. bet Central & Holmes avs s11-S. N. E. Telephone Go building (pl S12-Cor Bank and Meadow sts. & Gloves (PD 814-Plume & Atwood (Pl S15-American Ring Co.>(P1 316-Tlectric Light Station (P1 31S-Hoimes. Booth & Haydens fPI S21-No 4 Hose House 303-Cor Washington ave & Porter sfa 824-Cor Charles and Porter sts. s25-Cor Sinons tt & Washington ave S71-City Lumber & Coal Go. (P1 412-Tracy Bros P)
 432.Cor Liberty and S. Main sts. 451-Steele & Johnson Mfg Co. fPy 5s2-C Baldwin and Rye st.
 P, Private.
 4
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
At the Musicale.

q suppose you have to cultivate a taste for this kind of music?"
 tsNot at all. All you have to do is to let on you have t."-Brooklyn Life.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
The ExnlnnaHsnn

He, says he moves in the best so- ciety,"
 So he does. He owns a furniture
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03
SIGNALS.

I. One stroke calls superintendent to the City hall.
 Fl. Two strokes, fire out, recall.
 1-1-1. Three strokes, 12 m. 9 D. m. 1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-l-I. Ten strokes quick will indicate general alarm and will call the entire force into service,
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-03

Free, $10 worth, 100, green trading stamps with the following order at $L20:
 dog nice Oranges .............. 3Oc 1z peck Apples .................. I5c lbs best Prunes ......s.... 25cs box Breakfast Cocoa 25c ? cans Tomatoes ............. 25c
 Free, $1O worth, 100, green trading stamps with the above order at $1.20. $.
 Free, SIS worth. <13O green trading stamps with the following order at $1.60:
 bag Flour .................. ..... 6oc i ID best Tea soc 1 lb best Coffee ........... s5c
 Free, SIS worth, 130 green trading stamps with the above order at SLIGO:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-12-27
UNDER TWO ICE FIELDS
Men Rescue Man After a PeriIous
Experience

Danbury. Conn. Dec. 26--Oscar Jarvis.
an ice cutter. while cutting ice or the
Housatonic river. near Laaesvilie. today
fell into the canal cut in the ice and
after making frantic ersTt 10 save
himself by olutching at the edge Of the
ice. disappeared under a twelye-inch coat
ing Of ice. beneath which swift cur
rent was running Five of his eompsn-
ions tried TO save him
A hundred yards below were rapids
over which ice had not formed There
the FIVE men ran. hoping TO rescue Jar
Wis when he emerged from under the ice !:
but when ne appeared he was 50 far
from the banks that they could rot
raech him.
Below the rapids was another smooth
stretch 81 river whsre Ice harvesting 0p-
eratinns were going 81. Under this see
Jarvis vas carried. His FIVE companions
ran on 10 this ice with but faint hope
az being Of aid 10 the drowning mar a.
the canal The men az work were tod o.
what had occurred. and dozen knelt az
the edge Of the area from which The ice
had ben cut with tee hooks blinaIy thrust
into the dark water.
IN less than a minute Charles Hs1er
selt a weight O. his hook. ard. wish
frantic PvH he brought Jarvis TO ths
surface. He xss unconSctops. and II Sss
al mrs, thought that he was dro-ned.
but he was revived after a quarter hoEr's
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-12-27
MAY BE LEAN YEAR
Former Prophet Predicts the Decree
of the Stars

New York. Dec. 26.-Benner' prophecies
for lea4 have been issued and the bulls OF
Wall street are much cast down, while
the bears are correspondingly elated- MIR.
Benner thinks that the prices in all lines
OF industry are going 10 be much lower
during the coming year but he believes
that ii viii be the turning point in the
bear movement and will be followed by
twenty years OF imitation.
Beaner's prophecies have been SO often
correct in commercial as vel as political
matters that they are taken seriously
in the business world.
Samuel Benaer is an Ohio farmer who
tnls the soil 10y dag and studies the stars
by night. Fog many years he was local
oracle only. He told the farmers OF his
neighborhood by star gazing whether or
not 10 plant their potatoes in the dark OF
the moon. whenut would be the best time
10 shuck corn TO get the best results, and
how best 10 swap a roam horse for sor-
rel when The moon WAS in periEree. BY
and by TIE fame Of his predictions spread
through the whole country round ard for
twenty years or more they have bean ps,o-
lshed IN pamphlet form every year. The
first copy of the 1904 volume reached wall
street yesterday and was read with deep
interest b. the SPECTATORS. Mr. Ben
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-12-27

miles an hour, and they became anx-
ious for the safety of their comrades they
had left behind. Thomas Curtis and Hor-
ace Wardwell finally climbed the hill at
the back of the beach and scanned the
bay through a powerful glass.
The little dory was seen about two
miles off the ledge. while the other was
making efforts to keep the craft headed
inshore The boat was tossing heavily in
the angry sea. When about three miles
from the shore the dory was seen to
tack. Suddenly the boat was overturned
and the men were thrown into the sea.
disappearing almost Immediately.
The Swampscott life-saving station was
notified of the accident. The life-boat
was launched and an effort made TO To-
cate the overturned boat. Arthur Brown
and his son also put out in their naptha
launch Word was sent to the Nahant
life-saving station and the life-boat az
that place also put out.
The two sails, one of the seats. part
Of the centerboard Of the dory and some
fishing lines We're found and brought
ashore, but the bodies had sunk. 1t is
believed that the fishermen. weighted
down by their heavy shoes and clothing.
sank Immediately when the boat was
overturned. search for the bodies will
be made tomorrow.
Both men were unmarried Gallagher
was about 90 years OF age. and resided
on Chapman place. and Carey was S5 years
of age. and lived at 4s4 Humphrey street.
They had been in the fishing business for
a number az years. and were well known.
This makes three OF swampscott's FISH
ermer to lose their lives while attending
70 their travis within A year.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-12-27
Mormons Are Not Sending Converts
TO Utah

Salt Lake. Dec. 2s.-The charge made
by New York club women that girls con-
verts are being sent to Utah was denied
today in this statement in behalf of the
Mormon church:
The report that the missionaries have
been laboring especially among women
is absolutely untrue. The statement
that 100 women converts are being brought
here weekly is aflsehood. pure and simple.
There have been few converts in the east
ern states this year and fewer than thirty
in Greater New York
President Smith has given special in
structions 10 all presidents Of missions
to insist that all missionaries be coun-
selled never 10 urge converts to come 20
Utah The tales that are brought here
Of missionaries urging converts 70 leave
their homes. families and friends, are
untrue and are reeking masses OF false
hood and fabrication. Missionaries al
ways counsel converts to remain with
their families at their homes.
Bitter non-Mormon par;isans have al
ways insisted that Mormon nissionaries
have directed their Efforts toward the
conversion Of women. but they have
never tiifltetN tftu 70 sFcAu Ga e4t ~ ~-i
and have declined to hear both sides OF
the case.
Minors cannot join the church without
the written consent Of their psrsnts. That
is one Of the first Instructions given
TIE missionaries"
Henry Timson. one OF he missionaries
spoken Of in the New York papers. f.
Salt Lake maa. lie Is on bis way 20
his home on leave OF absence. Grace
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-12-27
HAS A VENUS SHOW
Only Five CT the $50 Appeared at the
Test.

Chicago. Dec. Bone hundred and tifty
Chicago women. each believing that hers
was the most beautiful figure In the world,
entered the competition 20 represent Chi
cago in the New York undress beauty
show. Only FIVE showed Up for the
test
Miss Caroline @ Smith. a rosy-chseked
High school pupil OF nineteen. carried OF
the honors.
Miss Marion L1llion. formerly athletic
instructor at the wo-nan's Athletic club.
was given second prize. but declined 70
appear before the audience of physical
cgiturists
The ether women contestants veiied
their identity IN ire deepert secrecy
Their measurements we're taken ~ Miss
Alice !. chosncy. and TIE final decision
made by The Judges was based O. these
statistics
Encssed in black tights from bead 20
foot Hiss Smith Submitted herself 70
the ordeal. Baskcf han. together with
three years 81 physical culture v-ozk az
the Calumet High school. are credited
By Miss Smith ~ being the means b.
which she has attained her syrnrletrlcai
physical Development Her rnszpursrnenfs
approximate closely n those q The 'ldeal
woman" Here they are
Height feet 81 inches. weight. IL
pounds: chest normal. r Inches. cheat
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-12-27
OORY UPSETS IN GALE
Two Fishermen Crowned by the Over
turning Of Their Craft.

Swampscott. Mass. Dec. ae.-While max
ing a desperate effort TO reach the shore
in their small dory. which had been
caught out in the storm, Walter Carey
and Andrew Gallagher. two fishermen,
were drowned today by the overturning
o, their craft of Dread ledge. in sight OF
two comrades who were po1erless TO rem
der assistance.
Carey and Gallagher put out this morn
ing with several other fishermen TO fix
twals at = point about four miles OF
shore The wind was blowing strongly -
the time. but IL was believed that no
difficulty would be experienced in CON-
plstiDs the work and returning before
the storm assumed serious proportions
Toward noon. however. the Wind grady
ally increased. and the others. becoming
alarmed. headed for the shore Carey
and Gallagher remained for a short time
TO complete their work.
When the Other fishermen reached shore
the gale had increased TO nearly Fifty
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-12-27
ler,s predictions for 1904 are as follows:

ner's predictions for 1904 are as follows:
II predict that prices for pig iron. rail-
road stock and many commodities viii
be lower in 1904 than in 1903.
II predict that the Republican party will
be successful in the election of November,
1904
Il predict that after the year 1904 there
will be a revival in trade, better times
and that higher prices will prevail until
the year 1911.
The greatest down cycle in prices and
in general business ends in 1904; and by
reason of protective tariff this country
has not had an old fashioned period of
hard times during the last three years.
Nevertheless, there has been a stupen-
dous fall in prices and shrinkage in val
ues Of railroad and industrial securities,
with a severe decline in iron.
Prices for iron. railroad stocks and
many industrial securities will continue
TO be depressed until the future policy Of
this government is settled in the coming
election Cor president.
Now. while we have had a disastrous
reaction in prices from stocks and invest
rnent securities. ii IS 10 be reasonably
expected that further moderate bust
ness reaction will follow to the close of
this low cycle.
Therefore the decline in iron and steel
curtailment Of orders for railroad mate
rails and manufactured commodities will
continue through the year 1904
The year 1905 will be the beginning Of =
new up cycle in pig iron and for a long
continued rrosperitv in general business.
lasting until the next commercial revul-
sion which will be in 1911
The coming opportunities to catch
business and prices at their lowest limits
of depression will not happen again for
twenty years. II is estimated by financial
experts that the shrinkage IN mining and
various industrial securities during the
last two years amounts 20 S0So.ooo,o"o
It is possible that the loss Of this vast
amount Of money can be recovered and
a thousand million dollars more OF inflated
values added to these securities during
the coming years OF prosperity
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-12-27

Representative Bowersock in the house
and Senator Burton in the senate have
introduced bills 10 provide for the I'M
provement and enlargement Of the na-
uonal cemetery at Fort Scott Under
the provisions Of the bin. the secretary
OF war is authorized TO purchase twenty
Eve acres OF land adjacent TO the GENE
terry; and TO have restored to its former
condition SSs extend what is known as