Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-06-25
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chaser that is great success."-Ex.
I'm not afraid of those horrid auto
mobiles any more" said the off horse.
Nor L." said the near horse. II help
one home every day"
He-The fact is that you women
make fools of the men. She-Some-
times, perhaps; but sometimes we don't
have to.-Boston Transcript.
80 you went to see one of those
old New England plays. Was it real
istic?' Indeed 1t was. Why, when
the rainstorm came up Uncle Henry's
corns began to hurt him."-Magazine
Of Humor.
Mother-Has young Meadows asked
you to marry him. Ethel? Ethel
About the same thing. He said that
If he ever should marry he thought he
knew the kind Of girl that would suit
him.-Chicago Record Herald.
1.-THE world isn't what it used to
be-" complains the cynic Formerly
n man had some chance; now it Is just
like-just like" Just like church
fair" said the listener. supplying the
lacking smile without an effort
Judge
Il suppose that If you marry my
daughter you will expect me to pay
your debts?" shouldn't think of put
ting you to so much trouble" answer
ed Earle Byrd. You can give me the
money and I'll pay 'em myself
Washington Star.
II really think you ought to go to
church with me once in WHILE" she
urged. MY dear" replied the willy
man. my good fortune makes that
entirely unnecessary. l have a wife
who is good enough for two."-Chi-
cagO Evening Post.
Guest (at dinner)-Ah, that's good
old ale. Pardon my asking. but where
did you get it? Subbubs - Home
brewed Guest-Really? The chicken
Is delicious, too. Is 1t one of your own
raising? Subbubs-Yes. home brood.
philadelphia Ledger.
They had started for stroll. "There
is our minister" he said; I'm going
to ask him to join u.s." ITO join us?
Oh, George, this Is so sudden! But
hadn't you better speak to papa be-
fore engaging the minister. dearT'-
London Spare Moments.
II sing so much" said the man who
thought he could, Its surprising I
don't have some Troublesome throat
trouble" "Oh. that's not surprising
here in the East" replied Pepprey.
I'VE don't lynch people here. even for
that. '-Philadelphia Press.
$50 you are not going to Europe
again?" Not for long time" an
swered Mrs. Cumrox. ut Is our in
tention to live in America, thereby
calling attention to the fact that we
can afford to pay the highest prices
for ng."-Washington Star.
Mrs. Jenner Lee Ondego-My hus-
band says Americans spend 100000
300 year in foreign travel. Mrs. Sell
DOM Holme-I don't doubt it, but 1t Is
all we'll spent. Why, l consider the
French accent my Esmeralda acquired
from her two years in Paris worth
every cent of TEX.
Yes" said the critic to the aspiring
young playwright, there are great pos
sibilities In this play of yours
Thank you. 1t is very kind of you to
say So" But there will be greater
possibilities in the fellow who is clever
enough to find them and get them out
Chicago Record-Herald.
Angry Voice from top Of Stairway
Verena. what did you let him in for?
You know we don't allow canvassers
here. Strange Voice lin hallway be-
low)-I am getting names for the blue
book. ma'am. Changed Voice-Verena,
show the gentleman into the parlor.
I'll be down in a mOment.-ChicaSo
Tribune.
The timid young man at the picnic
hastily asked his sister to introduce
him to the young woman in the blue
shirt waist. Miss Tippitt,' said his
sister. this is my brother. Mr.. Tap
pitt" "Gl-gad to meet you, Miss Tip
pitt" he said. Pardon ME for mem
tioning it, but you are sitting on a
bumbpbee's nest."-EX.
The sagacious wife watches her hus-
bands angry efforts to find the collar
button that has rolled beneath the hu-
reau. II should think" she says, that
YOU would have two collar buttons
You should" he snorts. reaching I'M
der the bureau for the tiftieth time and
rasping his hand along the floor. 1T
takes a woman to figure out some way
to double mans troubles" New
York Herald
Il think you'd like the pastor of the
church belong to- remarked the pas
senger with the skull cap. as the con-
vcrsaton drifted to religious topics.
He never breaches longer than TWEEN
ty-Gve mnutes.' II have no doubt |
should like him" replied the passcn-
rpr with the side whiskers. The pas
tor of the church | attend every sun
day breaches sometimes an hour or
lourer." "lIorribly tiresome. isn't it,