New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-08-23
THE DRUG CLERKS WOES.
Those of Other People Burden
Him.


Tell your troubles 70 a policeman has long
been an expression when a man was bored by
hearing the woes OF another said a drug clerk
the other evening but II you would hear the
Of mankind hot from human lips Just step behind
the prescription counter and listen "a the troubles
1 have 20 endure and the tales I have 70 listen
to during my trick OF duty. The policeman has
his troubles. and the streetcar conductor runs him
close second. Neither is. however. marker TO
the poor drug clerk
Got anything good for coIdT
The speaker was a man who appeared 70 pos
sess average intelligence. Did he have anything
for a cold? What is drug store forg Well the
drug clerk proceeded to rattle of a number OF
things he had found to be good for bad cold
and finally the man decided he would step over To
the soda fountain and take a lemonade And the
drug clerk had not suggested such a dose.
After the man with the cold had imbibed his
lemonade he returned to his hrst love-the drug
clerk-and proceeded to pour some more
misery.
Went to dance the other night you know"
he began. I'm very smart young man. and
after had danced every number the menu I
proceeded to stroll into the cool and refreshing
night air. Look at Amt dream OF
delight? Oh I do such bright things, suppose
II the plumber would come along with pail OF
hot lead I would dip my finger into IL to if /;
We're really hot" The poor drug clerk had &c
listen and appear to like IL.
Mister. I want nickeTs wuth O. wepson salts
for my mamma chlrped a youngster he hand
cd empty bottle and incidentally knocked
over half dozen bottles Of perfume He wanted
to invest a nickel and destroyed dollars worth
of stock. Good profit for the druggist don't YOU
think? The kid got the salts stole a sponge car
ried away half dozen almanacs and card adver-
Using little liver pills.
"Doctah kin 20 what's good 70 pluracy pain
in side? All done had a mos Missile time dis
las night deed I has"
An old black nanny had ambled into the
store and held her hand on the offending side and
groaned as the drug clerk proceeded to mix some
brown sugar and water to give 10 her
How much is dIs?''
"Oh. nothing; that will be all right
THANK yo' sab"
Asked why he did not charge for the prescrip-
ton the drug clerk sighed and said: she didn't
have any money. She would have stood me OF.
I know her What's the use darkening our books
with bad accounts?''
The drug clerk looked across the store and saw
an old coming.
Great heavens! Here comes another groaned
the drug clerk
''who is he?' repeated the clerk He is a patent
medicine fend He buys every patent medicine in
| the world that has the words Cures Dyspepsia
on the wrapper I guess he is a dyspeptic all
| right He always reads the papers and the adVer-
Using circulars that thrown In his yard. and
II they even hint at cure for indigestion ne VIII
hike out after bottle of it. He also tries every
free sample of everything and If there is patent
medicine in the world that this fellow hasn't been
| up against. then I miss my guess; Now listen,
Good mornin DOCTOR groaned the aPpa'l''oH d
| 1t approached the clerk IL 49,, co.,
| Good morning. Mr. --- no" 60 you i1
| That was all the patent medicine hend needed
| to open up his tale of Woe (,,,t.,. ~.
| .'Oh tougher than the dickens charlie. ne
| will stop an awful aching in my neck A44 "
| felt so numb all day to-day that donE oelieve
! can last much longer. I had awful backacne
Yesterday but that's better to-day Dom much
Tnore'n get rid OF one thing TIL anotheI
NV teeth has been tryn' to worry me some la'eiS'
| The drug clerk handed him a small vial OK
! tootbache drops and he ambled out $50
That's only of million that | near eE ~
on srgIfTnent with a woman who was possessed or
1 a small slip OF paper that she handed him s+-
! 'No you can't work that on on me A aTSSO,
/ never saw that prescription 1 can't do anythlhns
| for YOU You'll have to go somewhere else. the
She muttered something and walked out --.,
THE same old gag reInarked, r1S FT yIoT
phine and she came in to have the or3et @ 3 Ie
favorite drug filled Tor IrienG. = l ~, ~
! cterl hut he had been there before.
! T3ut the drug clerk does not hear al Woe. ne
T5ers are women in local society who delight In
visiting drug stores for the purpose OF stinp.II@
| dimes buy a small bottle. but it is seldom They
will sniff at the bottles, try little on tnelr h1
karchiefs and ask the price. Then they go 10 the
The drug clerk has also to be city directory;
| If he doesn't know where Thomas SMITHS once
| is he is Ignorant. If he cannot say whether MIS-
| Edgar Williams has moved within the last Hon1h
ne re - has to be able to tell whether grocer out
| in the west end has telephone or not and II
ne Hs aaT has 10 walk quietly behind the fountain
counter and hand out a little vlShy w9 s ~ ~
| effacts Of a Snnorntng following the night before
In this act he poses as hfeSslVer, az 'lI
/ fuiness in their hearts for the drug CLERK ..
The drug clerk-poor dOg!-he. mas 20 9 ~ a.
/ n bad drug clerk