Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-01-09
QUlLL'S YARN.
An Augusta Man Who Has
Quit Practical Joking.
He Got a Seat in An Electric Car,
All Right,
But 1t Was at the Expense of a Sym
pathetic Girl.

Now that 1902 has passed on and we are
upon the threshold of another year, the
happenings of which are beyond our view,
and wisely so, it is the proper caper 10
turn over new leaf or a whole chapter
and make some good resolution. OF
course New Years resolutions are in most
cases brittle and break pretty easily If
you drop them, but if one starts in with
determination to make some resolutions
and make a sacrifice of some one thing
that we are particularly fond of, like saw
ing wood, for instance, or beating car
pets, determined in our own minds that
we will give up these pleasures and stick
to the good resolutions it can be done. o.
course it will come hard at first to break
off from old habits all at once, but stick
tc it and you will very soon get so you
can pass by bucksaw or a carpetbea tirg
machine without feeling longing to
start in on a strenuous life.
There is one fellow who is bristling all
over with good resolutions that he has
formed since the new year came in He
is a practical joker or was at least DE
fore retribution over took him, but now
practical joking is fartherest from his
thoughts. In fact he is so sober and
weaned from his evil ways that he thinks
of applying for the position of obituary
editor on some country paper. He was
down the line some time before the new
year came in and concluded to board an
electric car for home. AS he stepped into
the car he noticed that it was pretty we'll
packed with people and among the GATH
ering party of g:ddy girls going to
a matinee.
On taking the second look through the
car he noticed personal friend of his
sitting well down toward the center next
to one of the bright matinee girls. The
others were seated opposite This friend
of his, who was in the same line of bust
ness was like himself a practical joker.
He watched his friend for some time as
he read the paper and he seemed to be at
peace with all mankind. And he looked
so comfortable and contented seated next
to this pretty girl that he, the hero CT
this moral story, could not resist the
temptation to stir him up a little, so ne
walked down the aisle, planted himself
in front of his victim and proceeded TO
put in mis- work. He toned his voice down
to whine and looking at his friend, who
up to this time he had not spoken 10, he
spoke up in that Whitney tone so all in the
car could hear and said: There are some
people in this world who have no feelings;
for others, not a bit, all self. They don t
care how much their fellow men sutfe i
as long as they are comfortable. | never
could sit and let poor man stand who
has been sick all the fall, but some peo-
PIE are perfectly Indifferent TO the suffer
ing of others. They sit and read a paper
while the sick and feeble hold onto the
strap and suffer in silence.
The fellow behind the paper took it ali
in and never cracked smile. He waited,
patiently until the gentleman who had
the floor had finished his Grafton then
said Il presume you are addressing your
conversation to me. If so it falls on deaf
ears for | have paid my fare and got my-
seat and don't propose to give it up TO
every chronic kicker with a hard luck
story who chooses to air his imaginary
grievances to car load of strangers
They talked back to each other for some
little time in the same strain, much to
the amusement of the car load of pas
sengerS. At last the matinee girl got llp
and moved toward the rear entrance OF
the car and my friend who had made all
the war talk dropped into the vacant seat.
The two friends talked and joked for
some little time and the passengers were
beginning to realize they were fooled al!
right when the gentleman who had kebt
his seat all through the word-war looked
UP and said: DO you know, Jim. there
is one thing about you that / admire
above all others and that is your nerve
You have the most crUSty nerve | ever
saw. You don't need any spring tonic.
Your nerves are all right and nothing will
jar them, for when a man can come into
crowded car as you did and whine
around and work that old him-ham game
until you drove that poor girl out Of her
seat ana took it yourself, while she en-
Joyed mans privilege and stood up has
got enough nerve for most anything
At the same time he pointed to the girl
hanging to strap in the rear of the car.
Sure enough the kind matinee girl had
taken in the hard luck story for gospel
truth and being of a sympathetic nature
who had supposed the young lady, who
had given up her seat had reached the
end of her journey, had had no feeling
about taking the vacant seat. He is nat
urally very courteous and gentlemanlv
and when he realized the situation he was
in, his feelings can better be imagined
than described. He hardly knew whether
TO fly or keep up the invalid dodge
Lucky for him, just then, the car stopped
and the theatre party got out.
The other girls never did thing to the
sympathetic girl. They more than roast
ed her, while my friend felt smaller than
three ten-cent pieces and now he saws
that among the many good resolutions
that he has made and shall strickly ad-
here to- the present year, is one on prac-
teal joking, and judging from the wide
circulation his friends are giving this
story think he will have no trouble in
Keeping it and in the mean time there is
an open bottle on his side board for all
who call
y q -.