Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-09-01

lision between two trains that were
trying to pass on the same track, and
every man, woman and child on both
trains was instantly killed. And then
I cried dismally.
"'Well.' says the ringmaster. I
don't see anything in that to make you
blubber like baby. You didn't have
any kinfolks on the train, did you?'
"'No that's what's the matter with
me- My mother-in-law had ticket to
go on one of those trains, but got to
the depot too late and missed It,
Here Is another Of our gags that
used to excite some mirth. The other
jester, the ringmaster and myself en-
tered into an agreement after deal of
parleying that the one who asks a
question he cannot answer has to set
'em up. The dialogue runs this way:
First Jester-Did you know, fellows,
that whenever a squirrel digs his hole
he always begins at the back end
and
Ringmaster-What nonsense! How
on earth could the little animal begin
down in the ground and then work out ?
First Jesrer-That's your question,
is It? Well. we give 1t up. How does
he do It?
"Of course, the ringmaster can't an
swer it, and he pays the forfeit amid
the yells of the crowd.
You know the ringmasters always
snap their whips at the clowns and
pretend to hit them hard licks. Well,
once we had ringmaster who not
only pretended to strike me with his
whip, but did so actually and raised
great black and blue marks on my
back. The ringmaster had an uncle in
one of the northern cities who had con-
tracted some heavy obligations with
friends and shielded himself behind the
bankruptcy act. Most everybody in
that town knew of the transaction
and was down on him.
when we reached that place made
up my mind to get even with the
ringmaster for the slashing he had
given me and to make him party to
his own discontinue. He never knew
what was coming. You know the ring
master never gets up the Jokes; he
simply follows the lead the clown gives
him. His part is easy and can be per-
formed without pervious study.
well, came into the ring as usual
that evening and began with that gag
which is old now, but was new then:
"'Say Mr.. Smith, did you ever see
me jump?'
"'No, never saw you jump. How
high can you jump?
why, ]. can jump as high as that
200-foot centre pole"
.Impossible!' says the ringmaster,
I'll bet you SO to cents you can't
I'VE put up our money in the hands
of super and then jumped little
ordinary foot and half or two-foot
jump. The ringmaster gleefully de-
manded his money, but I told him to
hold on until we saw how high the
pole could jump. Then I added this,
and the ringmaster couldn't evade the
trap.
"'Mr. Smith, did you ever hear
about me jumping with your uncle?'
"'Why. no; did you ever jump with
my uncle?
"'Yes, I did that
How far did you jump?
"'Oh, L jumped 81 feet on the level
"He hesitated before the next ques-
ton. I think he had an inkling Of
what was coming, but he dared not
stop right there so he asked.
"'And how far did my uncle jump?'
WELL sir, he made one Of the
mightiest jumps you ever saw in all
your life and landed $4,000 in debt,
but have never heard whether he
jumped out again or not
Many of the victims Of the ring
masters uncle were in the audience,
and they led the cheering, which last
ed fully fifteen minutes. It was my
only way to get even, and you may
imagine how we'll I enjoyed the ring
masters chagrin. That joke came into
general use afterward as part Of the
testers stock.
When the show was over the old
clown and his friend passed out
through the main exit and gazed
around at the faring oil lights. A
steel-lunged young man with prize
fighter face was shouting the virtues Of
red lemonade at "two-fer-five."
Let's take something" said the ex-
clown.
Two schooners Of red lemonade were
put. out Of sight and he laid down a
quarter. After waiting while he
mildly asked for his change.
Change nothing!" growled the
tough-looking lemonade merchant.
"'Spect to get barrel for nickel?"
The friend saw the trick and would
have demonstrated, but the ancient
jester took him by the arm and led
him on.
NO." he said, lets not quarrel with
him. That's just the way they did In
my day. It's about the only thing
that hasn't changed"