The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-05-17

like Clara She ia Holly Terror. She
was engaged nineteen times before she
finally hooked up. and since she got
Married People come for miles to get
her to act as Chaperon." 8,
What Is the Programmed asked
Henry. who was mite Leary.
.-Therell DO something doing every
Minute, all right, all right" said the
Chlld-Wife. ASK no questions but
follow little Bright Eyes. I haven't
had a touch Of Real LILO since I
crawled down the Lightning Rod at
the Select School for Girls"
AT that Henry did not realize that
bright young thing with Boarding
School Education can give the stall
wart business Man any kind of a
Handicap and then leave him some-
where back OF the Flag
Clara met them at the Train with
Buzz-wngon. She had framed up
List OF Engagements that made the
Roosevelt Itinerary look like Open
Time Clara had arranged to give
them a little OF Everything, except
Sleep. Jessaline was tickled nearly
to Death. She was waltzing all over
tho Track. waiting for the word go"
The Getaway was dinner of II
s-OOuTSeS + At r WHICH u osSduuc ldChlCO
everything without losing any part
In the Conversations. After that they
went to the Opera. which was little
too high for Henry, but Jessallne
threw a Compton Fit every time
Signor Dagolini climbed up and hit a
Top Note. They went back to the
Apartment and ate Stuff out of
Chafing-Dish until 8 G, NJ. When they
turned In. Henry was on the point of
Passing Away but Jessaline was just
beginning to warm up and be kitten
ish.
..We shall have Coolies OF Fun to-
morrow" she said. First We have
Breakfast at the French Restaurant.
then swell Luncheon at the Club,
then a musicale. then Dinner at the
biggest hotel on Earth and then a
Show and then we are all going out
Summing"
II drop out" said Henry. "one day
has put me to the Bad,
Don't be GUTTER" said Jessa-
line. stick to me and I'll give you
the time OF your Life.
Uext Day she took him over the
Jumps and he followed with his
Tongue hanging out. He did not like
to admit that he could not keep up
with so-pound Canary who was
somewhat OIL ttIl 1ANhA't' pat MAlS'a
he sat and watched her eating her
Fourth Hearty Meal and chatting
gaily. he tried to figure out how any
one with a waist measurement OF II
inches could manage 1t, but the prob
lem was too much for him.
{ The third day of Rest included the
4 usual number OF Eats and wound UP
with one Of those Dancing parties
that lasts until the Germans become
peevish and refuse to play any more.
Henry was Off In Corner eating
Soda Mint ia bets and holding on to
a chair to keep from falling off. Jessa-
line was right oul In the centre OF the
MiX-up looking as fresh as Dollar
Bunch of Russian Violets. After every
Dance she would tear out and get
few glasses OF Knockout Punch and
eat couple of Sandwiches. after
which she would be ready to do some
more two-stepping, When the Orches-
ira finally struck and she had to pull
out. she found Henry In a Comatose
Condition leaning against the Hat
Rack, She aroused him and told him
the Glad news that they were to get
an Early Start and go out to nice
Road House and have something to
Eat. Whereupon Henry fell in a Heap
and asked to be counted out.
All the way home In the Carriage
she toasted him and charged him wish
a lack of Appreciation,
You act like a Dummy said the
indignant Jessaline, why don't you
cut in and have Good Time, the
same as | do? ! don't want people TO
think that ! married Rube,"
II can lift 1860 pounds In Harness
and | can play Y Holes Of Golf Wan
out turning Hair said the fallen
Giant, but when 1t comes to elt ng
little Birds ard taking a new kind of
Salad every twenty minutes and hold
ing animated Conversation with rer-
feet Strangers. ! am not In your class.
Send for a Trained Nurse, In a Week
or so / shall be able to itravel and get
back to hard work and rest up. In the
meantime, go 1t alone"
So Jessaline put the Weakling' on the
Shelf and went out and had a Happy
Week
MORAL: Capacity! cannot be deter
mined by apy Optsiee Measurements.