The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-12-05
O'GPADY AT THE TELEPHONE


(By Harry Woods in Wellington News
Hello. is that Moike?" shouted Mr..
O'Grady, as he gripped the receiver for
q chat with his friend Hannah
We'll, hello, what do yez want? Oh.
it's Mishler O'Grady, is it hot? An
how are yez. amy way?"
..Ah, bad luck t me Moike. Dive been
attendin' TIL riot at Sportsman park
t'day, an it's the divils own tonne Oh
had
..Indade, Mishter OGrady, whit t. the
football game, did yez! an how cid yez
injy tn shport?'
How did CT injy it, is it, Moike? Why,
bless yer soul, Oh rode all over Cuhy wit
Teddy Roosevelt, an marched wit Gin
eraI Funston from -anyan t Bungalow.
but OF niver saw such scrappin in al
me loife''
is It so, thin-well ie must have say
moinded yez iv tn ould days at Ape
mattix and Apple Jack"
Lone Jack. is 1t, Moike? why bless
yer ignorant soul, compared wit foot
ball, Bull Run an Bally Clavy is ABBOTT
loike Chrokinole- and Parcheesy. TIL
trouble shtarted tn first thing. mon
be tn name iv Referee took tn ball
a laid it on tn ground. Thin whin no
one was lookin', another mon ran oop
an gave It a vicious kick. That set
tied it Every mon in TIL Third ward
an few from Westport ran an jumped
on tn mon. But il taught i'm a good
lesson, Moike, an whin III crowd crawl
ed off iv i'm, tn referee took tn ball
away from i'm an put it back on IN
ground. Thin big mon wint oop and
bumped over tn ball an dared amy
wan iv tn bunch L take it away from
i'm befure he could count twinty. An
whin he had counted ABBOTT tin, he thried
L play dirty thrick on tn whole
crowd. What do yeZ think, Moike, he
handed tn ball back bechune his legs t
red headed divil who stood just beyant
wit hunk " liver told over his nose
Tn sorrel toppeu greeZer grabbed tn
ball an stharted fr Scarr:tts Point be
way. " tn Passage. But it did i'm no
good-ivery mon in TIL precinct jumped
on i'm an he fell down in a fit. Whin
he got oop tn coroner ran oep an put
I'm out Of tn game + bein' in his roight
moind. Thin tn, Missoury Captain ray
fused t play amy longer, because he was
told be tn decthors that wan iv tn
Kansas Byes had a boil on his neck not
made by the pimplemakers' union. Go
on says Reffeeree, you're offside,' he
says.
"Oi thought, Moike, that iii Referee
was unfair, but Oh didn't learn whether
he was nachurely dishonest OR just q
mimber iv tn legislature
1T must have bin a very excoitin'
game, Mishter O'Grady," said Hannah.
''Excoitin', is it?-Oi thought no wan
would get DOT aloive. But OF suppose
tn byes ARE used t hard knocks, FIR
their clothes were puffed cot in places
bel arge carbuncles, an some iv thin
wore straps around their heads t keep
their skulls from leakin' Many iv thin
got bloody noses an III dochtors were
almost worruked to death. Football is
good exercise Moike. but FIR safety, OF
would advise yez t shtick { croquet an
penuckle.''
did amy wan win TIL game. Mishter
O'Gradyg'
"Oi don't know Moike But OF think
tn bruises an breaks were in favor il
Kansas. OF oondershtand that TIL game
goes to tn number iv Injurys inflicted
An OF think Missoury had three down
mn two feet L gain an Oh. don't think
they broke a bone afther that tonne"
''Mishter O'Grady, OF have a bye that
would make a good football player an
OF have z moind { sind i'm L college
where he can have the best advantage
fr cultivatin' his feet
But. Moike. has he amy practice in
.buckin' tn line?''
: ''Buckin' III line. Is it?-shure Mishter
'OGrady. the best practice in tn wor-
ruld. he worruks at tn union depot.
Thin football will be easy worruk f'r
i'm. Ci see by the paypers that some
IL tn sissies do not approve iv football
because it is so rough. but III shport is
Ehtrongly supported by surgeons, din
lists az, tn undertakers' union