Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-07-04
HOW HE GOT PROMOTED

IA New York friend of mine was ar
rested by mortified cop the other after
noon. while WIS riding with him. for
speeding his saantomobile on Riverside
Drive. and the desk sergeant, before whom
we were taken to deposit collateral-I ac-
ccmpanied him-was about as grotesque
and diverting q CHARACTER as ever 1 saw
off the variety stage said Washington
ian who is a good deal on the wing. He
was as rough asa cockle-burr or boxful
of alligator fI9s,d1and the flannel was SO
thick on his to1gue that it was all my
friend and l could do to keep from laugh
ing in his face1rI suppose we'd be on Black
wells Island by now had we yielded to
the almost Irresistible temptation to do
that. 1t was ,G'wan wit yeez and 'Of
doan't want none o yeezs slack and
'Oive a good notion Z lock yeez up fr tn
noight, and SO on, with that funny. red
mustached desk sergeant in all Of his deal
ings with us. and we felt lucky when he
accepted cash collateral and told us to be
on y'r way wit yeez before OF change me
mind an put yeeZ in CELL We were so
much diverted over the conduct of that SER
geant cop who looked like a travesty Of
policeman seen in a stag variety show.
that we made some inquiries about him,
particularly as to how 1t happened that
such a queer proposition had ever contriyed
to get himself made sergeant of police,
even in a city like New York. We found
out now IL happened, and II QoeSnt make
such a bad story.
THE sergeant had, through influential
Tammany kinsmen. got his policeman's bill
let within very few months after he had
arrived In New York from the auld dart.
and he hadn't worn the uniform very long
before his ambition began to yseethe. This
was shortly after the Inauguration OF civil
service examinations for New York cops
"a measure, by the way. that Tammany
fought tooth and nail at Albany, but fall
ed to defeat.
'"The Tammany outfit have since discov-
cred several methods of beating out the
New York civil service game. but they
hadn't framed up these methods at that
time. The rules were adhered to. and the
policemen who wanted to become rounds
man. or a roundsman who desired to take
the next higher step to the chevrons OF the
sergeant, had to pass the civil service COM
petitive examination. and that was all
there was about 1t. The only exception that
was made was in the cases Of policemen
who distinguished themselves for bravery
These were allowed to be promoted to the
next higher grade without taking the civil
service examination.
well. this particular cop manipulated all
the wires he could, but his 'hooence told
him that he'd have to take the civil ser
vice examination for his workmanship.
He went before the examining board, and
was told that his average was about one
eigth OF one per cent. He was absolutely
illiterate, and the examiners reprfmanded
time by taking the examination without
having prepared for 1t.
THAT left it up to the cop. He was de-
termined to get rid of the job of pounding
his beat and to win out the roundsmans
stripes, and so the only thing for him to do
was to have the examination waived in his
case on account of bravery. He rugged up
his scheme with that idea in view.
He went down to the Bowery and found
a hobo panhandler who was a first-rate
swimmer. He rugged the hobo out in a good
suit OF clothes and front in general. and
promised him ten-dollar note if he would
go through his part of the program correct
~ The cop was at. that time stationed at
the uptown dock, from which the Coney
Island boats departsfor the island.
On the day set the dressed-up hobo came
running down to the dock. apparently to
catch the Coney Island boat. just as the
BOAT was pulling cut of the slip, and after
the gangplank had been hauled in. The
crowd on the boat and those on the pier
yelled to the togged-out tramp not to at
tempt the jump, but he wasn't there for
the purpose Of listening to their shouted
adjurations. and he made a flying leap for
the moving boat, OF course, he didn't make
it by ten feet and fell into the water. lust
as he had intended.
Then. of course. the rough-neck COP who
had employed him, to do the little stunt got
busy. He peeled of his uniform coat and
jumped into the water to save, the man
overheard who was putting up a beautiful
bluff at struggling in the water after he
got to the surface, The cop reached the
hobo in a couple, Of strokes, grabbed him
around the shoulders and supported him
nobly until he got hold of a boat hook, and
then the rope held out to him. and the cop
the deck -.
That made it all right for the cops
workmanship. The yellow newspapers
came out With vivid stories of Policeman
McBiank's heroism, describing how he had
darfngly gone to the rescue of prominent
citizen who had dropped into the water
while endeavoring to board a boat. etc.
etc. The cop got his roundsmanship with
distribution OF promotions for bravery
while on duty"