The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-05-25
The Lateral Origin Of Civilization.

The connection Of side whiskers with
true greatness and the relation Of
whskers in general to the social prog
ress and Intellectual development of
mankind continue to be the subjects Of
earnest thought and rapt speech on the
part OF sociologists and students Of
primitive institutions. 1t has been our
own modest share in the investigation
to trace the origin OF forests in the
primevl protective whiskers Of which
they were an imitation; and We have
offered as a working hypothesis the
theory that the beginnings Of clearing
paths through the jungle, Of partial de-
forestation. preceded and suggested side
whiskers. These effects Of Man upon Ma
ture and Of Nature upon Man have been
too much neglected by the philosophers
who have sought to construct the early
history of the human race.
In these days, when whiskers have
ceased to be a necessary defence and,
in the view OF many thinkers, are even
sinking from a status OF decoration to
the position Of a rudimentary and OBJ
solete organ; when some soothsayers
foretell the absolute hairlessness Of man;
a pathetic and poetical, as well as a
scientific, interest attaches to these at
tachments. They have been much, they
are much STILL to the biped in breeches;
and there are fairer eyes that look upon
them kindly. Who, except a raw Glib
sonian STRIPPING who has not tarried at
Jericho, can read this letter without
pleasure and sympathy?
ITO THE EDITOR OF THE suS-si,: IN OAR
an intellectual looking monkey with 'copious and
flowing side whlskers. II las Mr.. DARWIN says
this monkey /, several degrees advanced in the
scale of civilization above his fellows can not be
argued that man found to-day with side whlskers
temperament, Does no, DITHIRAMs DICE of
pilduxcr Park wear side whiskersf
"MABI A. WOODWARD.
MArLRwoop. N. j.. May "a"
Sunt ldchrym9 rerum-if side whiskers
must fall before the ruthless razor of
evolution. they will not fall without the
need OF more than one melodious tear.
Many and many man, reading this fine
feminine tribute to his silky, flying but
tresses, will smooth those glossy glories
tenderly and smile for pride in fame.
Near is my shirt, but nearer is my
skim" says the proverb. Dear is my
life, but dearer are my siders, says
truer saw. And now as to the intellect
ual-looking ancestor in the genealogical
tree. 1t may well be that those OAR
winian clusters drip with intellect We
have heard Commander Of the Ancient
and Honorable Artillery Company as
sert, stroking his own collection low
ingly the while, that side whiskers are
the efflorescence Of great BRAIN The
assertion of an expert is not to be denied
lightly. We are willing to admit the
intellectual appearance of these side
issues and to accept them as the out
ward and visible signs Of mind running
to a speciality. But we can't give full
faith and credit to the capillary hang
ings. 1copious and flowing Of that as
cending man in the Descent Of Man"
The picture was not taken from a pho
tograph, or even a daguerreotype, and
the artist may have flattered his own
style. Still, side whiskers are always
important. 1t is difficult to resist the
belief that the fellow arboreal in his
habits pulled himself up and his descend
ant pulled himself down from that tree
by means Of side whiskers, those ladders
of progress.
We are sorry to have to acknowledge
that DITHYRAMB DICK doesn't wear side
whiskers. Each particular hair on his
head is catgut, played by the moving
fingers OF the wind. His face is shaded
gently with young reeds, spontaneously
vocal.