Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-05-29
56az!2(!ez-
4(z9>'s'Elz


Rehearsing: "He combs his hair diff.
ferently every time" "Yes, he hasn't
learned his part. Yale Record.
80 you think you need a wife %
YES" "Well, nothing but marriage
Will dispel that llusionw-Puck.
The bar to riches: More men would
be rich If money were as hard to spend
as 1t Is to earn.-Chicago News.
Wife-"I found out something to-day
that I promised never to tell" Hus-
band-"Well, go ahead; I'm listening" 1"
Chicago Daily News.
He-"And now suppose I'll have to
ask your fathers consentT She-"Not
at all, Just ask mamma. She'll take
care Of papa."-Judge.
Take example: Customer (at a res
taurant)-"Can I see the proprietor? ?"
Waiter-"Very sorry, sir, he's just
stepped ont TO lunch."-Judgc.
Uncle William, are you troubled
about the hereafterT mo, sub; it's
de wharfo' er ed herein what keeps
me guessinv'-Atlanta Constitution.
II think 1t is silly to pick up a pin" /"
"Oh, l don't know! l know a fellow
that makes IS week picking up pins"
Get out" Eyes; he works in a bowl
ing alley"
Arthur would marry that girl but
for one thing" Chester-"Afraid to
pop the question:" Arthur-"No.
Afraid to question the pop."-Town
and Country.
"How did your daughter do at the
graduation exercises?" "Splendidw
declared Mrs. Torque; "why, she was
the best dressed girl therew-Balti-
more Herald.
Blibson-"T understand that South
American general has resolved to sell
his life dearly" Glibson-"Yes; he
wants ten dollars for the library edi-
tion. Judge.
Ping-"Some women novelists have
great power of diction" Pong-"In
their home life I'll bet they show still
greater power Of contradictionv'-Bal
timore Herald.
First Darkey-"Dat's de mos con-
venienest arranged farm 1 eber seen."
Second Darkey-"Dat's so. De chicken
house am located in the watahmilyun
patch."-Judge.
Blonde Bridesmaid-"The ushers
haven't seated your Aunt Maria with
the family" Other Bridesmaid (sister
to the bride)-"No, she sent only a
pickle fork."-Life.
The Manager-"Bully! Well have
real horses, a real brook, real hens and
geese, and real hay" The Author
And would you mind having real
actors, tooY'-Life.
Mother-"Yes, Bobby; any man in
this country can be President" Bobby
Gosh! what lot of Holsters there
are who seem to prefer working for
two dollars a day."-Judge.
$50 you want my daughter? growled
the old man. Can you support a fam
ily?" whats the matter?" demanded
the sultor. susplclously: ARE you out
Of work ?''-Seattle Sunday Times.
February IA: Mlstress-"So you want
me to read this love-letter to your?
Maid-"If ye PLACE, nam. And I've
brought ye some cottonwood ye can
stuff in yer ears while ye read itw-
Punch.
Mrs. Muggins-"Do you attempt to
keep up with the latest fiction" Mrs.
Buggins-"Well my husband manages
to spring a new excuse ON me every
time he stays out late."-Philadelphi
Record.
II tell you that poet is genius" "A
genius? Why his stuff Is the worst I
ever read" 81 know" "But why do
you call him genius" Because he
succeeds in selling it."-Philadelphia
Record.
Mrs. Witherby Cat breakfast)-"Are
you wellW Witherby-"Yes. Why"
Mrs. Witherby-"You look changed.
suppose notice 1t more than those
who are with you y."-Har-
per's Bazaar.
Jocular Passenger Ito train robber)-
when you say Hi, therev suppose
you mean you're after a ralse?" The
Robber-"Yep, an 1t also means you'd
better watch out, an be burned quick
about it."-Chicago Daily News.
Cassidy-"Shtop kickin' about yer
hard luck, man! Some mornin' veil