Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1903-10-02
WHAT A LANGUAGE.
Frenehman in Utter Despair After q
Years Study Of English.

began, 1 should say-to learn your
language, and l have made progress
as much as expect. But, ali! what
difficulties I have vanquished!
Au fond, at the commencement, |
find the English has one letter of |
more than the French For what do |
you require him, except to say Well
lington and Waterloo? We do suff-
Gent well without him However, I
struggle with him, till twist the
mouth
Then try to say 'the" like an Eng
lish. My teacher say: Push out your
tongue against your teeth" l push
him, so. Sometimes l bite him, other
time push him till he is stiff. l cry:
Hold. he will have the stick-jaw-I
lie tetanos, [ mean
Next | find you use not the genders
properly; everything is neuter, even
the flower, the rose, the street, all is
neuter All, no, | forget-the ship, it
is She" is this not?
But the pronunciation there is the
enemy. 1 learn, difficulty, cough,
he is ''coff;;" then say l, plough, he
is ''ploff.'' But, no, my teacher say he
is ''plow," and rough, he is not
'Srow,'' nor rolf y but he is "ruf. /"
Heaven, what frightful language!
Then learn the pronoun, Il, thou,
he, she, it, it is plain sail. But
'sthat;" ah, &c sacre that! He is every
where and he mean everything; he
mean ce, he mean celia, he mean qui,
he mean que. ''That that that that
man said, my teacher say, and he try
to explain, but he gives me ache in the
head to think.
Then I come to verbs. You have no
logic, you other English. You take
one poor word and you load him with
meanings till he breaks-breaks, !
wish to say.
By example, my landlady she
blames the boy because he have not
washed l ask what has he not
washed? and she say: "He has not
washed himself" Another day 1 ask
her to mend some clothes, and she say:
Il am sorry that [ cannot to-day. !
must wash" [ say then: 'ssSurely
you wash not yourself all the day."
But she laugh and say: ''No, sir; ]
must wash clothes.'
In England, I find, one speaks two
languages; am sure Of it. learn,
read romances, novels, and the jour-
mails. 1 talk with my teacher, and l
understand. But | go out to walk
myself, and there, l understand not
one word which man says.
One time | go to visit friend. ]
find not his house, and l ask a man:
pardon, mister, but is this such a
street?'
| He look at me, and say: ''No,
'tain't''
1 comprehend not, but say:
'Thanks," and go away. When I am
at home 1 60 to my dictionary and
seek the word I see her tache."
Pas de tache, no'tain't. 1t is incom-
prehensible.
Another time l 60 ride in hanson.
AT the end of my journey give the
coachman some coins-they are small
coins, but they are good, and they are
enough. He hold them in his hand
and look Then say he, very cross:
"What this? Bin robin church, ]
say: at is enough, no more"
Then he utter many words, which ]
know not, until he see gendarme
a police-coming Then he is gone:
quick. I write down in my notebook
these words, and when I get home !
open my dictionary quick.
I find them easy: Bin huche; robin,
rouge-g gorge; church, eglise-a box,
a bird, a church. Again it is incom-
prehensible.
My teacher tells me: ''Never mind
if you cannot find such words
But l say: "Those men are Eng
lishes-they speak English, is it not?s
He reply: eyes; but the workmen
speak badly, and they use much slang
-argot; trouble not about them
But l say: "How, then, can [ find
the way?''
And he laugh, and say nothing
Stray Stories.
Bro. O'Bleniss, of the Clafin