Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-10-10

tea joke on me. but AFTER SlaDD nau
made me touch the firm, cold flesh and
| had explained that frostbitten bodies
often showed rudy tnts upon thaw-
| ing I went into the Office to think it
over.
I directed Slabb to dress the body
properly and care for it for few days
| while I should endeavor to locate
friends of the departed.
After the story had gone over the AS
ISOLATED Press day wire l followed 1T
with query for information and ask
ed all Associated Press papers to make
a search for relatives. Frenchs story
created the sensation the poor fellow
| had foreseeD, but the relatives / had
hoped for did not materialiZe. l began
| to have a great respect for the dead
reporter.
went to Slabb's after the body had
rested there just one week and told
him to send it to the city receiving
| vault in respectable coffin, to remain
there while made further search.
'No need of sending him away" said
| Slabb. "Let him lie here. He's the
| finest bit of embalming I've seen in my
life"
Then he led me into back room, in
sisting that / look at his guest. IN
covering a plain coffin, he looked in.
| Instantly the satisfied look Of the ex-
pert undertaken changed to one of hor-
ror, and 1 saw Slabb spring back with
| che 1o6 nj 7
and felt my own blood chill, for that
thing in the coffin had shrunk six
inches in a week, and it's graveclothes
collapsed all about it!
We called in a physician, and after
long consultation the body was strip
| ped, accurately measured and dressed
| in a new outfit Of clothing. Then we
established a watch over it, noting the
daily appearance. At the end of
week there had developed a decided
shrinkag e-something over five inches
in the length Of the body. A close ex-
animation disclosed the fact that it was
shrinking symmetrically. My 200 pound
friend would not know his own body
now. It had dwindled to 100 pounds.
The excitement really commenced
with my publication that night Of this
second sensation in the peculiar &C
tons of Clyde Frenchs remains. The
Associa ted Press authorities questioned
my account, and invited them to send
| a special agent to verify 1t. He came,
and forthwith a daily account Of our
lively dead went over the A. p. wire
French's remains from q transient
| guest at Slabb's became the center of
an excited nations attention. 1t would
have done the poor fellow good had he
fOreknOwn that his story was now to
move up to first page, first column, No.
/ head, and remain there indefinitely.
First the city physicians examined
him and noted the daily shrinkage.
Then began the pilgrimages from curl
Gus suburbs and skeptical county seats.
Then Slabb established visiting hours,
and only professional men were allow
ed view. The executive body of the
| National Association Of Undertakes
crossed the continent and passed an
opinion on the phenomenon, and the
| governor of the state issued procla-
nation, an act which gave my prop
erty official recognition.
The undertakers said in their wis
dom that the Greek priest Of the far
north had embaimed the body after
some old and to them unknown formu-
la; that he had evidently used poor
materials or had mixed his fluids care
lessly; that a well embalmed body
might dry out, dry up and turn to pow
der, but for body to shrink systemat-
ically and preserve it's smooth exterior
was not according to rule. Wise men,
| those!
At the end of two months it had
shrunk to four feet in length and to
100 pounds in weight. Perfectly SYM
metrical, perplexingly ruddy, plenti-
fully bearded and plumply smooth of
skin, it was a wonder. The tailor
asked me how soon he might put knee
pants on it.
Then the experts came from the
great medical colleges of the country
and decided to treat the body with sun
dry fluids to arrest it's shrinking. But
their treatment failed of results, and
on their report being published abroad
the rulers Of many lands appointed
medical representatives to cross the
seas and view my property. At the
cabled request of the car of all the
Russias we placed the body in glass
case, which was hermetically sealed.
Thus protected from the air, the shrink
age ceased, and we waited for the
royal experts to assemble.
| The hotels were running over with
scientists, who burrowed through
mazes of books on chemical subjects
and ancient burial rites. All Seattle
caught the fever, and men talked ex-
citedly of the secrets Of embalming on
street corners and even in cafes.
| When the international scientific ag-
gregation was complete we moved the
glass case containing my property to
the stage of the state university as
| xryhnr n