The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1903-12-20
Chlld's Payment.
(Rv Guy TreYleon.l


American of today to sit and listen to a
story the aspect OF which tends to be-
cloud him in abnormal heartlessness, and
which bears q noticeable and painful
analogy to his own miserable musings
When you would entertain a man first
assure yourself that you are handling
those subjects which Will steal him from
his own disconnected self; or if you so
blunder as to fall into discussions that
remind him of his mlseries, then argue
that such omissions are OF small signlfi-
canoe. and Justify him in the position he
occupies The idea is to forget ones own
wicked self, for who would be what he
is? Place the Individual IN the stead OF
the other fellow who, to him seems more
prosperous, and in his imagination he is
happy. IN the hours most often chosen
for such purposes men can best amuse
themselves with those experiences that es
say to indulge the superficial propensities,
and it is not frequently the case that the
human ego will dwell upon what it must
ponder deep.
After all the glittering sophistries about
humanitys gradual ascendency into a
higher moral status, there are evidences
to me too ponderous for rejection that
the world is growing worse. Optimlsts
may discourse until they grow weary at
their task of wei. doing, but my phlloso-
ply forces me to conclude that, surround
ed by the conditions now existing, man
kind will insist upon evil doing. In other
and more explicit language, the world
does wrong for wrongs own sake. They
will tell you that resistance to tempta-
Sc
able item in this consideration, but l con-
tend that resistance to temptation today
admits of a rankly different definition
from that of fifty years ago, and that socie
ty is becoming more and more tolerant,
and that sin in it's frightful mien is re-
spectacle to an astonishing degree.
So unusual, unnatural, is the story that
/ am about TO tell that I scarcely hope
for belief, even in the most credulent OF
those into whose hands it may chance to
tail. Immediately succeeding the occur
rences of which this Is a history, l de-
cided even in my own depraved conscious
ness that for abnormity OF impulse, and
| deep wickedness of soul, it had no coun-
| terpart in the annals of brutality. My
purpose is not to horrify the delicate SEN
sibilities of humanity with a recital of
| savage cruelties however mad may seem
TO be, but / aim to tell simply, truly,
and without needless prolixity, a chain
| of happenings in my own personal ex-
Dcrience.
had the good fortune to be
| born and reared on a farm in the cotton,
rice, potato, and corn feds of Carolina.
There the green plenty waxed yellow in
to harvest beneath the warm caresses OF
the Southern sunshine. Ny father was a
pious, a Cody man, and taught me that
| while to be good did not always mean
happiness, to be good was the
only way to be happy. God
bless his memory. There seems to be no
reason why my early life should not have
run as TRANQUILITY as the little rivulet
by which ! rcamed and sported. We were
poor, it's true, but the wolf never howl
ed at the door. Those provisions neces-
sary for the cpmfort, if not the luxury of
man, we were supplied with. l was
known as q handsome youth I was up
wards of FIVE feet and nine inches tad,
had black hair and sharp, black, all
seeing eye. My father, noticing
that I was no ordinary boy sent me to
the high schools and colleges, and my
education in the end was far beyond that
of any boy who grew up at my side.
But strange and incompatible as it is
with this adaptabihty to the lofty and
the good, my character was a dual one
and the attributes of the lower SELF, final
ly consumed me Along with my fond
ness for books I developed a craving for
shall 1 confess it ?--alcohohc stimulants
1t was not a heritage. l was only destined
TO be the black sheep of distinguished
and spotless flock. The man who boasts of
having never tasted a drop of whisl1ey
in his life, merits no credit for his insur
ance from a drunkard's burial. Only To
those who have trod the dark road alone,
and who know something of the unnama-
bic temptation that shackles the victim
of drink, would 1 dare turn with my tale
Tor sympathy.
My weakness grew on me with marvel
Gus speed, and accumulated strength and
intensity in its merciless trend. Hand in
hand with my excessive indulgence and
gradual degradation there went decep-
tive dissemination to appreciate and inn
prove my condition, until was approach
ing a moral lethargy or Qaralysis-an
eclipse of the good.
Worse than all this, 1 could not now
view these conditions with alarm. l did
not seem to have any serious desire to
reclaim myself. My immediate family
saw the hand writing on the wall and
admonished, but the only answer was the
echo to their distressed p,eadings. l was
standing mute and unmoved witness to
MY mothers premature senility, for which
1 knew 1 was chargeable; and L fancied
in my more sane moments that L could
see gray hairs steadily and surely replac
ing the handsome black on my fathers
head. And yet it cannot be strange to
the initiated that I, now deluged in the
limitless sea of Incorporate habits of life,
pursued the even tenor of my way.
AS it happened l had married early,
prior to the time my debaucheries had
become so commonly known, and discov
cred in my wife devotee of Incompatible
worth She regarded me with that Deepen
dent and companionable fervor of a wo-
mans first and only love. My attachment
for her was scarcely less profound and
reverential, and it was largely on account
of her tenderness and interest in my wei.
fare that I would often mingle my drink
with weeping I need, not stop to say that