Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-03-28
ANECDOTES FROM ANYWHERE

acted in secret and one of it's member
must have tipped off, some Englisl
friends who had talked. Thus tn
news had reached the American II
London and he a made haste to sent
word OF 1t to his friend, the yachtin,
reporter.
On the strength of this guess the re
porter wrote q two-column article an
nouncing the selection Of the Columbia
as defender. Two or three days late
the regatta committee made the officia
announcement. About a week later TIL
reporters friend walked into the of
flee.
'Why didn't you meet me at tn,
pier?" was the first thing he asked.
How could / know you were com
ing?" demanded the reporter.
MY cable said his friend.
The reporter gasped. "Wha boat die
you come on?" he asked.
1.-THE Columbia, of course" was thu
answer. THE Hamburg-Americal
liner"
Hush" said the reporter, don't sa!
another word"
And to this day the members Of thu
regatta committee are said to be won
dering where the leak" was.
:::::
w. Richard Respess says: Il vii
soon burst forth In dazzling refulgenct
from the penumbra of my misfortunes
Just watch the sparks as / dash acros:
the zenith of western finance, like :
comet of the first magnitude" Youp1
Mr.. Respess was too modest when ht
referred to himself as a Napoleon *
finance. Respess Is to be the Aurors
Borealis Of lnance.
:::::
Admiral Taylor, chief of the bureau
of navigation, says that the American
navy has grown to very respectful,
proportions, even If 1t is not the larges,
In the world. Il remember" said the
admiral, in making good his assertion
that n day a friend introduced me
to a Chicago man. After commenting
on the fact that l was an officer Of the
governments se~a-fighting establish.
ment, he said: BY the way, where Is
the American navy now?' l told hin
and 1t did not take very long to do it
either. Now, If l were to attempt tC
answer that question offhand l believe
that 1 should make an awful botch o!
II. The American navy Is scattered &c
the four quarters of the globe, n II
would take me two hours to Ca &
printed report detailing the location OF
all the ships"
49,:
IT'S funny what the red lights
mean," said Delegate Mark Smith OF
Arizona to a crowd of statehood boom.
Grs. Here they mean the senate is ir
executive session, at my hotel the
mean a fire -=cepe, in London they
mean a surgeons office And IL
Arizona they mean a train robbery,
interrupted Representative Hank
Smith of Michigan.
A mar from Pittsburg was intro.
duced to Representative Littlefield o.
Maine the other day. II spoke in Pitts.
burg last fall" said Littlefield. Eyes,
replied the Pittsburg man, Il ran foi
office there and was beaten by only
1000" Heavens said Littleheld. {"
am not usually so fatal as that. / spok,
out in Omaha in 1900 for Dave MerceI
and they didn't beat him until 1902"
:::::
A popular Methodist ministe,
preached in Montclair, N. j., last Sun
day, and his sermon occupied fift,
minutes. At the close a minister VIII,
was in the pulpit with him announce
a hymn appropriate to the preacher
theme, but with these words: Il an
sure you will all be glad to sing thi
last hymn"
The Missouri legislator who referre,
~ AAAS OPPOAAShAN az NNtc'NS Us q llSlo
with hair on it," must take off his ha
to enato Kittinger of the Indiana sen
ate for his eloquent description of Sen
ator Park as "a whining old whiskere
sanctuary" Verify, says the L~ouisvill
Times, it is only to the shorn lamb tina
the legislative wind Is tempered.
Here is another DR.. Parker story. II
was arguing with a man on the probler
Of continued existence, n at the doc
+la frianI 6nolI VI ,IanIar rod. GaTl,a Co.. I
l am an annihilationist. l believe tina
when l die that will be the end of me.
Thank God for that" exclaimed tn
doctor, and banged the door
:::::
Senator Pettus of Alabama the othe
day disproved the prevailing theor
that all seats in the United States sen
ate are expensive and hat that bod
is altogether a millionaire's club. II
sent to the secretary of state of Ala
bama the sum of 81 in a postal note {
cover the entire expenses for his re
cent unanimous election. This SUI
represents the fee Of the secretary {
state for his services. So far as know
this Is a record in the minimum pric
for seats in the senate
An anecdote of Rev. DR.. Alfred
=. Mortimer, who Is one of the nominee
for the position Of dean of the Gener;
Theological seminary, was told at I'll
Grand hotel the other day.
The doctor was at Lourdes and ioine
i, In one Of h professions of the famoI
) shrine, carrying a lighted candle in de
l erence to custom. BY his side walked
Roman Catholic bishop, whose tap,
was extinguished by a gust of wind.
l AS the bishop relit his candle fro
, DR.. Mortimer'S, the latter teasingly r.
marked:
The Anglican church gives light
Rome"
And the Catholic church makes ligl
| of England" retorted the bishop as
, spark from the wick of his candle fe
on DIR. Mortimer's sleeve.
l There was a great s%currying about
) the Italian embassy in Washington OF
afternoon. The ambassador was prepa
: ing a response to a toast to be deliver,
in English n he came to a poi
/. where he stuck fast. He called in h
secretary but the secretary could off
: no help. He did not claim to know IT
! English" very well. Finally the ar
I bassador told the secretary to appe
: to the state department.
l The secretary called up Assista
Secretary Pierce. He explained 4
ambassadors dire need. He wanted
make a speech in English. In it he h;
hoped to make a happy use of a ce
l tain maxim of the English tongu
Would the secretary help him?
t Certainly" replied Mr.. Pierc
+ What Is it?"
= What his excellency desires to say
e came in measured tones from the Sc
l rotary, us embodied in the phrase Y,
must not look at the teeth Of the hor
( that gives"
"Ha!" said the assistant secretar
: you NEAR You must not look a 81
l horse in the mouth"
There were loud shouts of joy at Il
1 other end of the telephone wire. II
excellency, the Italian ambassadc
! would be able to use his maxim art
ali. Another international difficulty W,
: