The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-07-02

yout Dhpy Day ihBs II 10 u queer
language, isn't it?p Eyes, sort of early
English"
Snake Charmer-So the fat lady took
too much antifat. How Is she nowl
Sword Swallower- Oh In reduced cir
cumstances.
"And SO you ran away from your
wife TO enlist In the army. What did
you do that for?' I'm lover of
peace. Life.
Visitor lat insane nsylum)-My! these
are bad cases. aren't they? Guide
Yes. sir. This is the plng-pong ward.
Town Topics.
Customer you anything that
Is good for falling hair? FacetlQus
Clerk-How would waste basket dot
Chicago Daily News.
Father-1n choosing a wife one
should never judge By appearances.
Son-That's right. Often the prettiest
girls have the least money.
There is one thing certain" remark.
III tue ODSti yer VI A-NtitS anu h'hbSt
III we all have to use soft coal, 1t will
seem hard. Workers Statesman.
He (who has offended herD-Won't
you look up at me? Shelf | did,
you'd kiss me again. He-No; honest
| won't She-Then what's the use p
Life.
Go Ia hnTfnnnV
Uncle Sam7 Uncle Sam-Political
harmony. Sammy, Is any period In poll
tics when there Is nothing doing
Puck.
She-You must not kiss me until we
are formally engaged. He-Do you
mean TO say that you always insist
upon that rule? she-l'Ye always tried
to.-Judge.
Lawyer-The jury has brought In a
sealed verdict Ia your case. Prisoner
Well, tell the court that they needn't
open II on my account.-Glasgow
Evening Times.
The Lady-Dld any one call while
was out2 The Maid-No. ma'am. The
Lady-Thats very strange. | wonder
what people think | have an lat home
day" Moonshine.
She-But most elopements turn out
SO disastrously. He-Yes; but every
body expects them to- You save all
that trouble OF keeping up appearances
after the ceremony.-Judge.
Mrs. Blobbs-I quite thought you
had forgotten us. Miss Gusher. Miss
G usher-Well. | have bad memory
for faces as rule. but should not be
like , TO forget yours.-Punch.
vlsitor-Y Young man. I hope that
when you are free you will turn over
n new leaf. Convlct-Sure | Will. The
lawyer | hire the next time will be
better one.-Chlcago Daily News.
on the piazza: Ethel-Oh. Mae. I'm
In such a quandary! Old Mr.. Roxe has
proposed TO me and | don't know
whether love him or not. Mae-Nhy
not look him up in Bradstreet?-Judge
To their liking: rs your family
fond of cereals. Mrs. JumpupP "Oh,
very! we're reading several In the
Parlor Portfolio now, nd can't hardly
wait from week T. week. "-Philadel-
phla Bulletin.
Pardonable ignorance: Let me see,"
said the man at the desk. pausing with
his pen in air, who was the author OF
Twice Told Tales" "Chauncey De-
pew, wasn't it, suggested the man at
the other desk.-Chicago Tribune.
THAT friend of yours seems to have
clear conscience" mo" answered
Senator Sorghum, mot clear CON
science; merely bad memory-whleh
with some people answers the purpose
much better" -Washington Star.
"Kape alive Mike; we're rescuin'
ven Voice from the Debris-ls big
Clancy up there wild ye? "snre lie is
Voice from the Deep-Ast him wud he
be so kind as Z step afr the rooins.
I've enough OH top av NE wldout him.
Tit Bits.
"Kentueky Is one of the llveliest
States In the Union" remarked the
Young man. at is, answered Colonel
Stilwell. beyond a doubt. When |
WAS last there every man | met was
running for office or for his life
Washington Star.
Prncipal-well. did you get that
money owing by Smith? Collector
I'm sorry to say did not. There were
number of Smiths at that address,
all Of whom denied being your debtor.
One even threw me out. Principal
That's the one. Call on him again.
Mrs. Benham-Half the world doesn't
know how the other half lives. Ben
bam-Then half the world must be I'M
married men. Mrs. Benham-What
makes you think SO? Benham-lf they
were married men their wives would
and out and tell them.-Brooklyn Life.
"Say." remarked the impatient pas.
senaer on the New York cross-town
car. don't you ever so any faster than
this@ Don't get gay" snapped the
conductor. "if It don't suit yer yer kin
cit out an walk" ooh. I'm not In
such a hurry as all that" replied the
passenger sarcastically. '-Philadelphia
Press.
Sir Augustus Lackeash Ito tallor)-
NV son tells me that you have allowed
him 10 run bill for three years.
have. therefore. come Tailor-Oh,
pray, Sir Augustus, there is really no
hurry. Sir Augustus Lackcash-l
know that, and. therefore, | have come