The Savannah morning news., 1903-05-25
UNCLE MING0 ON
THE STREET CARS.
By w. T. Williams.

came IN at the street door pantlng ana
perspiring, his arms full of bundles.
"Dod-gone dat blame street carl" he
calculated as he dropped his load on
convenient table; IAN dod-gast dat
pop-eye CONDUCTOR"
ivy! wots de matter now?" asked
Uncle Mingo benignly.
81 git on de car" explained the pro-
prietor, Il pays my fare, an 1 tells de
conductor L wants to git off at SIGH
street. Wen de car gifts to dad street it
go sailin' pass, bout sebenteen mile a
hour. 'Hy!' 1 say to de conductor
ain't 1 tell you 1 want to git off at his
street?' OATS a fac he say, an wild
dat he ring de bell. De car stop after
it gone whole block furder, an l had
to walk back"
Now, my brudder" said Uncle Min
go, judicially, you don't pears to view
de matter cen de proper light. De
street car had make a contrac' wild you
to haul you so much block cen consid-
Grafton oh de sum oh one nickel, udder-
wise, fibe cents, witch was at de rate of
so much block. Now, dey done car
ry you one block mo- dan you contrac'
for, so cose dat make de rate per block
so much de cheaper. 1 don't see Were
II nebber look at it dat away be-
TO-" said the proprietor, scratching his
head but all de same, / don't see how
1 git any advantage by habin' to walk
back troo de hot sun an me totin' all
desc hebby bundles"
With that he gathered up his bum
dies and Waddled away to the rear.
Dem cars is prowokin sometimes"
remarked the waiter DE udder night
1 git mad myself. Me an a lot O. fell
lers was down by de gas house hill an
it was mos twelve o'clock. De udder
fellers was footin it, but I say I'll
stan an wait for de las car, cause 1
had good size bundle to tote, an it
was sorter driZzlin' rain, an l had to
go way out to Battery Park. So dey
gone on an lef' me by myself, an l
wait an 1 wait, cause de car was
benin time. At las it come tearin'
long. 1 stan up at de corner, an
wave my hat an / boiler Stop! Stop
No use; dey nebber take no notice OBJ
medley keep right on. an 1 had to
walk all de way by myself
Well said Uncle Mingo; dat was
your fault You ought to change &c
shade OBJ your color. You was so black
de motorrnan couldn't see you cen de
dark"
"Fiddlesticks.' said the waiter; "he
nebber want to see me, OATS wot."
WELL den," said Uncle Mingo, put
yourself cen de motorman place. Dere
was he las car, benin time, hit a rain
in, an de conductor an motorman
both tired an sayin' to one anudder,
Dis is de las trip, an Wen be off now
cen few minutes, prowidin' we amt
stop by a lot O. fool jackasses wantin'
to ride at dis late an unreasonable
hour, wen all sensible folks ought to
be home cen bed Well, you was one
O. dem jackasses, don't you see?"
~ fLa fnr 7
look at it my way, an l was mad, an
1 jis stan dere an cuss."
(Which didn't do no good" said Uncle
Mingo. "Howsomebber, 1 knows how
it is myself. / had a sperience yistid-
dy likewise, also. | was goin out cen
de middle @ de day to see frlen, Wot
lib out jis de udder side o de Bilbo
ribber. Wen de car git to de railroad,
down come dem long wife arms; train
comm So de car stop an wait. DE
engine come a putin an pullin' long
freight train. Gee! it seem mos mile
long. De engine was way out o sight
befo' we could begin to see Were de
hin en- was Jis bout de time Wen
de las en- come up, an ebblebody say
to hisself We'll soon git pass, Teller
on top de las caboose wave flag, an
bam-bam-b BAN, de train stop, wild de
him car half way cross de car track.
Den de train start back, an ebblebody
somebber, after a vile it look like we
was goin to git by; cause de
engine had Blackjack cen sight again.
Back back it came, ontell jus as de
tender git ober de car track, bam-pam-
BAN de train stop. Den it wait bout a
minute or two, an choo! choo! 1t start
forwards again. Ebblebody groan once
mo-. We all had hopes dough, dat dis
time de train would make up its min
witch way it want to go, an git out
de way but we was doom to larn dat
day how onsartain, an undecided a
freight train kin be- 1t stop bout half
way, an we couldn't see no daylight,
neider one side nor de udder. An den
it didn't know wot de debbil to do.
1t would go forwards bout a car lenk,
an den come back two. Den it go bout
ten foot an come back six. And so it
keep on, forward an back-all hans
across-swine corners an salute your
sashay, ontell it look like we was neb-
Der goin' to git by.
'Ebblebody on de street car was
frettin an fumin', but de mos distress
people was two ole ladies settin' to-
gedder.
Dear met say one, we is goin to
be too late for dinner, after all
'Nummine, Matildy, say de udder,
'dey knows we is COMM so dey will
wait half hour or so for u.s.
No dey won't say Matildy, cause
done tell EN- if we wasn't dere on
time, not to keep dinner waitin', cause
we wouldn't come at ALL
Well l declare if dat don't beat
mel say de udder one. 'Matildy you
is forebber doin sumpin' silly; l Won
der wot make you SIGH a fooll'
'Matildy put her handkerchief to her
eyes. 'Lucindy,' she say, sobbin', how
kin you hab de heart to call me SIGH
dreadful names Use sho 1 fought
fas actin for de best
Finally at las de train Blackjack
out de way, an let us git by, an
hopes de two ole ladies was cen time
at leas' for de puddin'.
But one o desc days, street car
is goin' to dash right spang cen to de
train, an den dere will weepin' an
wailin' an snathin' out o. teet.' De
motorman will say de brake was
broke, an he couldn't control de car
none tall. nohow.
mo sah," concluded Uncle Mingo,
dat kim O. ting shouldn't be lowed to
continue cen no sich a way Ike dat.
Soon or late trouble will come. De
street cars ought 10 be compel elder to
crawl under or else 10 climb ober, de
railroad"
Mentor "a Memphis.