davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
STRAIGHT TO THE SPOT

. Aching backs are eased. Hip, back,
and loin pains overcome. Swelling of
the limbs. rheumatism, and dropsy signs
vanish ,&
They correct urine with brick. dust
sediment. high colorcd, excessive, pain
: in passing, dribbling, frequency. Doan's
Kidney Pills dissolve and remove calculi
and gravel. Relieve heart palpita-
ton, sleeplessness, headache, nervous
ness.
TELL CRY, IND.--I received the free
trial of Doan's Kidney Pills. They are
splendid. had an awful pain in my
back ; on taking the pills the pain left
me right away and feel like q new
man. Stephen Sehaefer.
Mrs. ADD1E ANDREWS, r. F. D. No. 1.
BRoDHEAD, Wis, writes l received
the free trial of Doan's Kidney Pills with
much benefit. My little nephew was
suffering terribly with kidney trouble
from scarlet fever. Two doctors failed
to help him and he finally went into
spasms. His father gave him Doans
Kidney Pills and from the second dose
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
Fine Art of Cooking

A visit to the kitchen of one of the
cheap restaurants, say to one of the
plain American variety as sample,
discloses how much the everyday
Yankee restaurant cook can bring out
of little, says the New York Sun. A
look at the bill of fare before pene-
trating into the realm of the NEGRO
mancer who juggles with the edibles
in the rear will increase the wonder.
There are listed four or five different
kinds of soup, as many, perhaps, Of
fish, half dozen roasts, an ample ar
ray OF made dishes, pies and buildings,
and all the. vegetables, canned or
fresh, in ordinary use anywhere.
Anyone who did not know might
suppose that to cook and keep ready
in quantities such an array of dishes
would require an immense range, sew
eral cooks, and plenty of space. In
reality the kitchen is no bigger, or is
even smaller, than that of an ordinary
house, and one or at most two assist
plain Yankee cook requires.
suppose q waiter comes with an Or
der for vegetable. soup. The cook
lifts the lid Of big boiler of clear
soup, made by boiling bones and
scraps Of beef. mutton, chicken and
veal together. Out of this he dips a
bowl of soup, and into the bowl he
pops in quick succession little from
each pot of boiled vegetables he is
serving for that day. He gives it all
stir, and, presto! there is your vege.
table soup.
For all the orders for soup that
come in the cook goes first to the big
boiler. Is it consomme? From a big
pitcher the cook pours into the clear
stock some brown thickening fluid
Is it maccaroni? A pot of boiling
water is near at hand, and he forks a
few strings into the bowl. Is it oxtail?
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
MaS PIE HAMBlGAP -
~ OF HEAE7A ~Egh
A11 Il. 4. N1wK1T7R1c1 Hs~('~>
D. A0Y It, H. III EcNhZTIR/CK

Many of the sickest men in and
around this city are men who are
not sick at all. They are men who
are laid up with health. That is, to be
more explicit and to put it in the form
of a paradox, the sickest men are
those persons who. far from being
sick, are Frustrated and fioored by
their health that is the foundation of
their sickness, which does not exist at
all.
The people referred to as invalids
constitute that large and constantly
growing class, each of whom sports
the spectacular and sensational style
of stomach peculiar to the cigar store
statue that is nailed down firmly that
he may not topple over and fracture
his wooden ganglia. These sick men
are also noticeable and conspicuous by
their pin.cushion necks which sag over
their collars at the bases of their
brains and wabble like calf's foot jelly.
These lotos and tablet eaters are
troubled with various maIad1es which
might be called, and not incorrectly,
oficeitis and Newyorkcope. They are
sixpercentipedes who are, all feet for
cash and predigested securities. If
they had more feet for the golf links
and for the tennis court and were less
surefooted on the desk top, it would
eliminate many square miles of dane.
ing sunshine from the visions of the
doctor, and also from the pharmacist
who cheerfully dispenses something
that is guaranteed to be reliable sub.
stitute for the one-mile run, the four
sets of tennis, and the six-round bout
with the gloves.
If these weaklings who are human
battleships in an Office should be put
on a tennis court or on the golf links
they would disintegrate and scatter
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

are. Some are a legacy left by our
ancestors, immediate and remote,
who suffered from heritable diseases.
Others, more mysterious, are per-
haps the instruments of sort of es-
sential disease, of that old age which
precociously kills all who do not die
still earlier of tuberculosis, pneumo-
mia, the bubonic plague or Group. I'm
til we know more we can only reform
our diet, eating little meat or none
and subsisting chiefly on butter,
cheese and sour milk. BY these i'm
perfect means we may prolong life a
little-200 years or SO. Up to 80, for
example, we may be as active as the
president of the United States, and
thereafter, for 100 years more. as re-
Elective as the prime minister of Eng
land. This would still leave us half
a century for art. philanthropy, poker
or croquet. But when death does fina-
ally draw near will not it's approach
be as distasteful as ever? BY no
means, says the doctor. Under pres
ent conditions death is like an unnat-
ural sleep, which overtakes us early
in the day-say before dinper. In the
future it will come after a full meal,
when the days work is done.-C Coll
ier's Weekly.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
Railway in Scotland.

The new line from Spean bridge to
Fort Augustus, Scotland, which runs
through the great glen alongside the
Caledonian canal, was opened recent
ly. The railway continues the work
which the West Highland company
up some of the grandest scenery in
Scotland to the public. A sleeping car
for Spean bridge. the junction with the
new line is attached to the East Coast
express, leaving Kings Cross, London,
in the evening, passengers being due
to reach Fort Augustus the following
morning.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

quite as quickly as do the elephantins
specimens whose hardest work con-
sists in smoking cigars and accumulate
ing desk rot or in running up column
of figures, as monkey ascends CO.
coanut palm, for the purpose of putting
down the nine and carrying the seven.
That health is often a greater handi-
cap than is sickness is fact that does
not require many square miles of ar
who makes speciality of reducing the
flesh and the purses of those that accu-
mulate corpulence through the kind of
labor that hobnails the liver and rem
ders the nerves effete owe all their
good fortune to the health of their pa.
tients. The healthy man in an office
race has little chance against the
knight who caracoles in the enjoy.
ment of half a lung and a solitary kid
ney.
After a while healthy men may cul.
tivate sickness for business purposes,
even as women cultivate invalidism as
matter of refinement, and to give
them the languid, aristocratic air
which suggests noble lineage. The
men who live on drugs and patent
medicines are many and not far be.
tween. They are creatures of pills
and potions, who may some day feel
that they will have to play off sick if
they would have an equal chance in
the race with the preferred clerk
the invalid who can sit at desk and
| toll all day and never break down
under the strain. And then the ancient
rhyme may be changed on this line OF
argument:
Late into bed and late to arise
Makes a man sickly ard wealthy
and wise"
New York Times.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

A big tin of condensed oxtail soup
stands on handy shelf, and spoon
full lends it's flavor to the stock. Is it
chicken? He thrusts pair of tongs
into the boiler and brings up morsels
from the depths until enough scraps
Of chicken are found to pass muster
Is it tomato? A squirt OF weak, but
thick tomato catsup does the bust
ness.
See the cook next lift that magic
wand OF his which looks so much like
carving knife. Roast lamb and roast
mutton come from the same joint at
his touch; and by the aid of little
sauce and some jelly he will roast
venison at pinch. Roast rib or roast
loin from the same piece of beef de-
ponds altogether on his carving. Veal
is veal, or it is chicken for salad, or
it is turkey for fricassee, or it is rab
bit for stew. or it is, lamb for pie, just
as he desires.
The plain old Goldfish, too, if boiled
is turned into boiled halibut, or had
dock, or bluefish, and if baked be
comes baked halibut, or blueflsh, or
haddock; at his mere touch with the
aid of few biting sauces they become
almost anything one can name in the
way OF fish.
When it comes to desserts. the dis
tinction between fruit cake and plum
pudding is with him only the differ
ence between hot and cold and van.
ishes before the blast from his oven
Boiled rice-frequently called upon
for curry-with milk, sugar and a
little nutmeg, is straightway rice pud
ding. Tapioca and sage come out OF
the same dish. 1t is wonder how he
remembers all the names he calls his
cottage pudding
You may talk about the French or
Italian chef. but the Yankee knows a
few tricks of the trade, too
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
Seeking Russian Treasure.

A Russian merchant named Zimmia
koff is causing the bed of the Volga in
Russia to be examined near Katow in
an endeavor to find treasure which is
said to be valued at upward of $751;
100000. The fantastic story is circu-
lated that this treasure was once
cast into the river by the famous bri-
gand Stenkay Razynin. The story goes
that, pursued by Cossacks, the brigand
threw away this immense hoard of
gold and jewels, accumulated during n
life of crime. The spot was only
known to five leaders of the band The
last, who has just died, revealed, it is
said, the secret to the merchant.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
IT'S A MISTAKE
To Attribute Coffee Ills to Poor Grades
Of Coffee. -,

To Attribute Coffee Ills to Poor Grades
Of Coffee.
Many people lay all the blame for
the diseases caused by coffee upon
the poorer grades Of coffee but this is
an error as the following proves: 81
have used every kind of the best
grade of tea and coffee that can be
got from q first-class grocer, but never
found one that would not upset NV
nervous system and it was not until I
began to drink Postum Food Coffee
in place of coffee and. tea that had
relief from the terrific attacks of
nervous sick headache from which |
had suffered for 30 years.
had tried all kinds of medicines
but none helped me.
Soon after | stopped drinking cot.
fee and began to drink Postum the
headaches grew less and &c was nor
long until was entirely cured and
l have never had q return of this dis
tressing trouble, for nowadays / never
drink coffee but stick to Postum.
"As soon as my wife saw what Pos.
tum had done for me she gave IN
coffee, which she had drank all her
life. This was six weeks ago and
she is changed woman. for her ner.
yousness has all disappeared and her
face has become smooth and her
cheeks have good rosy red color.
She sleeps well, too, something she
could never do while she drank COT.
fee. We consider Postum house,
hold necessity in my house and have
induced many friends to try this
wonderful food drink in place Of COT.
fee. Name given by Postum Co,
Battle Greek. Mich. WA, .@ 81
Look IN each package for copy OF
the famous little book, The Road to
Melville. u N
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
BULK DID H..
Three Thousand Dollars Ii Ones Was
/. s3; Too Much for the Farmer.

Three Thousand Dollars III Ones Was
Too Much for the Farmer. !.
4, The Bismarck Quarry company
had an option on three acres Of land
belonging to Sam Dnnseith, good for
one year, the price being $1,000 an
acre, "said the bank teller. Il
Before the expiration Of the time
the company offered payment, which
Dunseith refused. He wanted more
The man could not legally demand It,
but the company, wishing to avoid o
lawsuit. asked my opinion in the mat.
ter. I suggested payment in 81 bills.
II obtained a large coin sack and
counted ont 5000 ones. Sorting them
separately and crumpling them all up
q L thrust them into the sack, which
looked like bag of feathers. The
president of the company, together
with lawyer and clerk as witness
proceeded to the house of Dunseith
and again proffered payment, which
was again refused. Walking over to
the large table in the center Of the
room, the president cut the string and
dumped the contents of the sack in a
huge pile on the table.
Here is your $4,000! Will you take
it?"
The farmer was amazed at the
pile Of money-more than he had ever
seen before. He stammered out:
Il guess I'll take It,
''In less than three minutes his sig
nature was on deed, witnessed by
the lawyers clerk. "-Philadelph Led
ger
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

destruction. You might tend an ami.
NAL for years and have him know you
well, but that would not insure you
against an attack from him the first
chance that offered. The lion is the
only animal that is capable Of aftec.
ton. A few years Of association with
q lion, one agent declared, win il
many cases insure you a dog-like affec
tion, but even in a lion this affection
may not be too greatly relied on. "A
leopard is the worst coward OF all,
and that is the reason why SO many
female animal tanners usa them iii
their exhibitions q
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
MEDICAL ADVICE FREE.
Properly Equipped.

"Of course" she said, when the time
came to leave the seashore and she
was haunted by the fear that he might
claim her acquaintance nthe city; of
course this was only a sham engage
ment. Shall return your ring?"
Quite unnecessary, he replied gal
lantly. 81 keep sham rings for sham
engagements"
And, as she had worn it for three
whole weeks and had exhibited it
proudly under the impression that it
was a genuine diamond, his revenge
was omplete.-Chicago Evening Post.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
Grass on London Bride.

London bridge is the last place in
the world where one would expect to
find grass, but it is there, neverthe-
less. The slight space between the
curg and where the reconstruction
work is going on is filled with soil,
which has produced crop of grass.
though, it must be admitted, of scanty
proportions. The traffic of hay over
the bridge is one of the sources of seed
supply.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

There Is more Cstarrh In this section the country
than all other diseases put together. and until the
last few years was supposed to he incurable For q
great many years doctors pronounced It local dis
ease and prescribed local remedies and by constantly
falling to cure with local treatment, pronounced it
inSurable; Science has proven catarrh to be con-
stitutonal disease aud therefore requires constitu-
BY Ed Cheney Co., Toledo. Ohio, lie the only con.
stitutonal cure on the market. Its taken internally
IN doses from 10 drops to teaspoonful. 1t acts d.
rectly on the blood and mucous surfaces OF the
system. They offer one hundred dollars for any case
1t falls 10 ours. Send for circulars and Testimonials
Address +, J. CHENEY l. CO., Toledo O.
Sold by Druggists 15c.
Hafs Family Pills are the best.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
Inevitable Cjuarette,

II can give you two seats in the
front row OF the parquet," said the
ran in the box office.
Let's see," said the man, 1.-The plays
a melodrama with the usual polished
villain, isn't it,"
Yes"
Better give me something back in
the parquet circle. My wife can't
stand cigarette oke."-Chicago
Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
act.

Laura" said Mr.. Ferguson, this is
Mr.. klippinger of Harkinsville, the
town where used to live He's the
editor OF the Echo. l was telling him
we had the files of his paper for the
last ten years. III show them to you,
Mr.. Klippinger They're"
why, George interrupted Mrs.
Ferguson, with a mechanical sort OF
smile, Il ought to have told you. but
but they're under the dining room car
pet."-Chicago Tribune.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
Inheritance

Inheritance.
The relations of lady who had died
leaving an inheritance to a favorite
donkey in order to secure it's comfort,
recently came into court and asked
for a decision as to who was to enjoy
the legacy after the donkeys demise.
1.-THE next Of kim" was the judges
yerdict.-Punch.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

Aliens Foot.Ease, Wonderful Remedy.
"Have tried ALIENS FOOT-EASE. and
find it to be certain cure, and gives COM
fort 10 one suffering with sore, tender and
swollen feet. will recommend ALIENS
FOOT-EASE to my friends, as it is
certainly a wonderful remedy.-Mrs. N.
H. Guilford, New Orleans, La"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
4 Guaranteed Cure for Piles.

Itching. blind, bleeding or protruding Piles
positively cured or money refunded.
discovery that absolutely cures all kinds of
Piles. Prepared for Piles only. All Drug
Stores. soc. Sent by mail on receipt of
price. Address Lock Box 8s2, lie Roy, NY.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
Ghosts Visit the Star.

Super-No, sir, the ghost hasn't
walked for two weeks.
Crittick-I saw the leading man with
a wad today; he must have got his
salary.
Superior. yes; he's the star.
Crlttlck-What yon might call a
fixed" star, eh?-Philadelphi Ledger
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
wild Animate co,.ards.

All animals are towards, according
to the agents, says Lawrence Perry,
writing on the Wild Beast Trafic''
IN Leslie's Monthly for July. Unless
8 tiger. or lion, or indeed any wild
beast. has tasted human blood, he Is
quite ready to let you 90 your way Il
You will let him 60 his. In captivity,
the animal agents say you may enter
any cage provided you have your
whip with lead bullet at the end In
your hand. and provided also that
you know how to use It effectively.
But the least let ND IN vigilance means
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

the pain was less. He began to gain
and is to-day we'll boy. his life saved by
Doan's Kidney Pills.
RIDDLES Mills, KY.-I received the
free trial Of pills. They did me great
good. had bladder trouble, compelling
me to get up often during night. Now
sleep well no pain in neck of bladder;
pain in back is gone, also headache
JNo. l.. HILL.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
Large Congregation Expecte,

Large Congregation Expected.
Cy Higrass--Heerd bout Decun Bill
ms fall?
Hi Sigrass-Ye don't tell! What did
he fall from?
Cy Higrass-From grace. He-ha.
They're goin to church i'm next Sun
day neutrality-suspicious. American.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
PATENTS.
List OF Patents Issued Last Week to
Northwestern tnven+ore

Iiss OF SatehtS ISSUED Last Week to
Northwestern Inventors.
Edgar Bisbee. Minneapolis, Mimi.
oil cake forming apparatus; Thomas
Forstner, New ulm, Mimi, snap hook;
James Gresson, Minneapolis, Mimi,
wagon stake standard: Louis Mayer.
Mankato, Mimi. friction clutch; Will
lam McComb, Window. Mimi, folding
umbrella; Michael Mcdonald, Benson,
Mimi, harrow; Charles Mumm, Min.
neapolis. Mimi. book file
Lothrop 4 Johnson patent LAWYERS Of,
ana VI: Pioneer Press Bldg. ST Paul.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
RecolIections.

she-The baronet says he has many
tender memories of Oxford.
'He-Yes, bartender memories. He
worked in saloon at Oxford, Miss,
last winter.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
Delay Has ADVANTAGES.

Delay Has Advantages.
First Farmer-You oughter took a
trip to New York some years ago.
Second Farmer-Oh, dunno; the
longer you wait the more there is to
see.-Judge.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
Expensive,

Expensive.
Doctor-You mustn't eat terrapin or
drink wine until"
Patient (interrupting)-Unt I've
paid your bill, l suppose.-New York
Herald.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

eyes when they look for perfection IN
themselves.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

lido not believe Piso's Cure for Consumption
has an equal for coughs and colds.-JoRN F
BOYER, Trinity Springs, Ind, Feb. is, 1900
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

The conversation of some people is
SO unimportant that when they stop
talking you fail to notice it.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
A Prize. Indeed.

TTIZS, INueeU.
Newlywed-Do you think you can
help me to economize?
Mrs. Newlywed-Oh, John, l never
told you before, can do my own mani
curing.-NeW York Sun.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

PUTNAM FADELESS DYES pro-
duce the brightest and fastest colors.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

To Cure a Cold in One day.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Az
druggists refund money If it fails to cure. Csc.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
Lost and Found.

Il am glad to notice." said old Rox-
ley that young Poorman is less per-
sistent in his attentions to you"
''Ies?" his wilful daughter queried.
Yes He seems to be losing heart,
and"
"Oh! he's lost it completely. but he's
found other."-EXchange
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

Mrs. Winslow's soothing syrup
For children teethng softens the gums reduces irp
0ammeton. allays pain. cures ind collie. 25c bottle
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
The Real Question

The Real Question.
she-Now, the question is, where
shall we elope to?
He-Oh, no! The question is. ,rhere
shall we come back to?-Puck.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

Advice which is cheap is dear at any
price
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16
w. L. DOUGLAS.
g &c & g SHOES Y Ys,SSss.
You can save from - 70 &6 yearly b.
vaarinr W. I. n6u9laa "a 50 ar "a shnas !

They equal those
that nave been cost
ing you from $500
to $500. The inn
lnense sale OF w. L.
Douglas shoes proves
their superiority over
oil other makes.
Sold by retail shoe
dealers everywhere.
Look for name and
price on bottom.
That Douglas uses Cor.
ora Colt proves there il
value In Douglass shoes.
Corona IL The highest
grade Pat. Leather made.
Fast Color E'yeiefs used.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-10-16

01y ~ 6 Edge Line cannot Be eouaIIed at ang price,
sn1es ~ mail, 20 cents extra. IlluEfrated
Catalog free, W. l.. DOUGLAS, Brockton, M.