The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-03-29
THE SOUNDING LINE SHOWED -FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND FATHOMS


'He asks 'Am I a patriareh7' said Noah, scorn-
fully, turning to his sons.
where were you brought up" inquired Shem.
Don't you know Noahswas the very first grandest
and most potential patriarch of ala First in war,
first in flood and first on the top of Mt. AraratP
IL humbly beg your pardon" said Mr.. Penny
well. Il forgot that. OF course, I knew 1t, but
Don't but mel" interrupted Noah. eve have a
goat on board for that purpose. Can you steerP
q regret 10 say / can't" said Mr.. Pennywel.
"Can you take soundings, thenl"
.'NO," answered the poor man. becoming fright
ened again, for Noahs eyes were flashing angrily.
"Well, what can you do on boardl Can you take
the sun or box the compass or weigh the anchor or
splice the mainbrace or wind the dog watch holy
stone the afterdeckP
"Alas, I can do none of these things. am merely
a manufacturer of brass bedsteads, and I've never
been TO sea in my life / don't know any more about
a boat than you do about an automobile" replied
Mr.. Pennywell, in agony.
You're a hr- specimen Of a modern man. I think
/ heard you commenting awhile since upon tho
workmanship of the artist who carved these ami
mails of mine Perhaps you are bit of d carver
yourself" said Noah, sarcasGcaly.
Il never carved anything-that is nothing but
chickens, roast beef and such" answered Mr.. Penny
we'll
"And yet you eriticise the work Of other men in
the carving line-you, who never. carved anything
but cooked meat It's truly time somebody took you
In hand before you are completely spoiled so that
you are UNFIT to associate with nice children like
your own Well we VIII try to you for their com
pany and make a seaman of you tonight" said
Noah. Then, turning to Ham, he added: Flows
TIE tideF
"Just on the ebb replied his SON. "And the wind
Is nor -by-half-west"
arch And you, Japhet, light the port and star
board lanterns for we don't want to run into that
old carpet bag again tonight" Noah turned to
Mr.. Pennywel and added:
$50 below and put on one of Hams sea robes
We can't have you wearing such clothes here.
You'll find one hanging up on the stag"
SAILED ABOUT THE. HOUSE
Mr.. Pennywell descended the latter into the Ark.
and there saw a deer, upon whose horns hung sew
eral different garments belonging to the family The
animal-hatrack stood immovabe and made no obiec
ton to his taking Mans gown-a long, yellow gar
ment-and he put it on over his own clothes lust as
he did at the Lodge of Exalted Sheiks Then. feel
ing the boat lurch and rock from side to side heag
lily, he hurried aloft again Noah was steering tho
craft and looking intently ahead. Mr. Pennywell
saw at once that they were sailing down the hallway
at great speed but he could no water no matter
how hard he looked.
"What are you staring at q asked Captain Noah
Watching for a whaleP
"Why, am looking to see the water" replied Mr.
Pennywell.
''WeI. stop, for you can't SEQ it. It's invisible
water, so there's no trying to see It. HI sheml
Have you taken the temperature Of the water yet n
added Noah.
eyes, long ago. replied his son. 81 took It Just
abaft the writing desk buoy"
qPooh Hottest spot in tho house said Noah
dry it farther away from the hot air register It's
a regular Gulf Stream right thoro. All tho FISH are
parboiled.
Suddenly the Ark tipped, bow down, 90 sharply
that Mr.. Pennywell almost lost his footing. and
then i sailed downstaiFa but at 10 faster speed Il
turned at the foot Of tho decline and then crossed tho
hall, Mr.. PeuHywe expected Captain Noah 10
tack OF come about before DO solded with the front
door, bat ho did not ovan sianan sposd Instsad to
hia amusement, thsy west Flght bang AZ tho oakan
door and through it if It we're cloud o. fos, woh