Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-04-18
ata,anro,ls 9syartment.
Cross. Examination Fun.


The contest between counsel and
witness must necessarily be an un-
equal one, and it is little surprise that
the sympathies Of the public are more
often with the latter than the former
or that whenever witness scores
point over bullying cross-examiner II
is hailed with delight.
Have you ever been bankrupt q
pompous counsel once asked, In the
writer's hearing, Of a provincial trades
man.
mo. never" came the decisive an
swer.
"Now, be careful, sir, how you an
swer' this question. Have you ever
stopped payment?'
"Yes."
"Ah!" said the barrister, with salts
faction, thought we should get at
1t. Now, sir, tell his lordship when that
happened"
AFTER had paid all owed" the wit
ness answered, amid a roar Of laughter
in which the Judge himself felt COM
PEELED to join.
On another occasion q concerted
counsel had been cross-examininS
young woman at considerable length
upon the age of a person with whom
she professed to be we'll acquainted.
Finally he asked her: How old, now,
do YOU take me to be-" The witness
scrutinized her prosecutor closely Tor
a moment or two and then answered:
From your appearance I should take
you to be 60; from your questions, Is
"Will you describe the man you say
you saw near the scene Of the crime?'
asked q diminutive barrister Of wit
ness in a recent murder trial. WAS
he a big MANI"
"Oh, no; howt OF kind" answered
the witness, a burly Yorkshireman.
He was just little, insignificant bit
of chap. cummat like yourself
This story reminds one Of an equally
crushing answer given to another
counsel whose physical dimensions
were incommensurate with his sense
Of Importance.
Did you see this tree that was
mentioned by the roadside?" the barris-
ter inquired.
"Yes, sir; saw it plainly"
1T was conspicuous, them"
mo; I shouldn't say 1t was exact
ly conspicuous" the witness answered.
you are trifling, sir" counsel con-
tinued. IF, as you say, you saw the
tree plainly. how can you say 1t was
not conspicuous"
"Wel, it's just like this" the una
dashed witness replied: II can see
you plainly among the rest Of the law
yers though, you're not bit conspic-
uous."
you really mean to say" once ask
ed a well-known lawyer, now judge,
that as the result Of this accident
your son will never be able to follow
your business? If he's not fit to be a
butcher, what do you propose to make
Of him."
WELL" was the answer, which con-
vulsed the court, III he's no good for
owt else I'll max lawyer Of him."
you say this Mrs. Robinson was a
friend Of yours?" learned @. G. once
asked a witness.
YES"
"Is she here?"
mo"
do you know where she is?"
mo"
Now, SIR" counsel retorted in a
fury, II warn you to be careful, and to
remember that you are under your
man is a neighbor and friend Of yours,
you do not know where she Is to be
found. Tell the court at once, sir,
where she is"
That's more than anybody knows.
sir" came the startling answer. "She's
dead"
But perhaps the smartest retort ever
administered to bullying lawyer was
the following: A counsel, after vainly
trying to break down the evidence Of a
witness in a murder trial, 50 far for
got himself in his evaporation as to
say: II do not believe a word you say.
can see scoundrelism reflected in your
face"
Sorry for that" came the crushing
answer. Il didn't think my face was
such good mirror."-London Tit-Bits.