Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-11-04
! Humorous
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He-And at last they agreed to mar.
~. she-Yes, and # was the last
thing they agreed on.-Denver Repuh-
lican.
And where did he take you aftef
the theater? Home" "Ah. 80 you
are engaged at last?"-C Chicago Record
Herald
| wife-what do you think Of my pic.
ture? Husband-lt will. do. Evidently
a snapshot, my dear. ".Why?" "Your
mouth is shut."-Ex.
Alas: Miss de Muir-Were you eveH
hypnotized. Mr.. Hector? Hector sad
ly)-That is my excuse for being mar
ried.-Town Topics.
"And so they are married. Do you
think they will be happy7" They
Ought to be. He has no friends. and
she has no relatives"
Wasted no time: 1.-THE manager says
he engaged the 40 chorus-girls in 20
minutes" Gracious, but he's quick at
figures. Town Topics.
Terence, what Is the doctors dag
hosts OF your case?' HE hasn't told
me yit, but I'm bettin' It'll be iv'ry clint
av tin dollars" Chicago Tribune.
1.-THE expedition endured the extrem.
est hardship" .Yesp understand they
were locked In the ice during two lee.
ture seasons."-Detroit Free Press.
Guest I'm cheap restaurant) Well,
waiter, what have you got? Waiter
Beefsteak and fish-but the fish Ii all
out Which'll you have?-C Chicago
News.
A magnate: us he very richrs
Erich? Why, he's 50 rich he daren,t
look twice at n girl for fear she'll brfng
Ia breach Of promise suit. -Philadel-!
phia Ledger.
The Lady-so your brother fell ct
vicksburg, my poor man. Was 1t Z
cruel bullet that did the work. The
Tramp No'm; he fell on freight car.
4 Chicago Daily News.
Evidence Of an eyewitness: Guest
Why, do you believe in second sight.
major? Major Darby dn an impress
sive whisper) Because fell in love
at first sight.-Punch.
Are you well acquainted with your
mother tongue, my boy?" asked the
I school teacher Of new scholar. Yes,
sir" answered the lad tilnidly. ma
jaws me good deal, SIR
j did I understand you to say that
you always eat breakfast food IN
the morning. asked the man from
Missouri Sure" replied the man
from Massachusetts. "Pie."- Cincin-
natl Tlmes-Star. s. .s'
Not wasting time: Whats the mat.
ter with old Fred?' asks one workman.
"'E,s got splinter in his and says
another. why don't e pull 1t ontf.
"Wot! In his dinner hour! Not like.
i lyw-Tit- Bits.
j Harry, Harry! What are you doing
with your fingers in baby's mouth1''
demanded mamma. Looking for the
SPOON" he replied. Nurse said he
was born with silver spoon in his
....s.. M
Mhat WonderIui palmer Hupene
VAST remarked Merritt' NJ Inc ats
gai!ery es' assenteo Cora it y
sara OF MIN tnat ne couid cnange 2
imagining race mo gao one py SIN
A gle stroke" Why" spoke up John.
Aie, IN uisSust, NY hcnooi tcacnef.
can. 10 snat:
Naltcr-Oll yes, oysters are good
now. This is an "r'' month. you know.
\ Customer sort O. suspect that last
one was backslider, or perhaps he
hadn't heard that the time for him to
be good had arrived. FL Boston Tran
script.
You seem inclined to think well of
this titled stranger who desires to mar
~ your daughter" well" answered
Mr.. Comrox, Il must say this much
for him. He consulted ME on the sub
ject OF the marriage. which Is more
than my daughter is likely to do
Washington Star.
4 No, Mr.. Spoonamore, I never could
i be happy with a man of your habits. =
my habits, Miss PImmie! What do
4 YOU know Of my habits. NAV I aak y.
You haven't been IN this room more
thah mar an hoir. ana IN that time
you nave sat on my SOFA pillows, Lean
Ell your mead pack against my rocking
char tidy, ana put your feet on my
emproidefed foot.ssool.'-Chicago Trtb-
une.
Jadge-fou shy you got that black
eye as the resuH OF q blow by the de-
tendant! Prosecuting Witness-YeA
SIT. Judge-Iell me the circumstances
under which ne struck you? Frosecut.