The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-12-02
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
 MATTERS OF THE WORLD

eessfully campete with railroads it would be necessary to construct a boat that could plough through muddy water at a rate of thrty-five or forty miles an hour. Even if this speed were ever attained the danger from accidents would be insur- mountable, since they would plaugh up sand bars about as often as they would the water. Since the Iowa mans idea applies solely to inland navigation and on rivers at that, it is hardly probable that he will derive an immense revenue from his new boat. As a seagoing vessel 1t would be a rank failure.
 Just at present the American hen is mistress of the situation. In certain sections of the country never before were eggs known to be so scarce or so high priced. At 40 cents a dozen they deserve to rank with fancy dellcacies for which swell cafes over charge instead of retain inG their reputation as food for the masses. Strange to say most of the eggs for southern markets come from the west and this year it is reported that eastern spectators have cornered the supply that would naturally fall to this part of the country. As a result boarding house fre- quenters are enjoying a respite such as was never dreamed of last year and in- stead of steady diet of hen fruit they are enjoying bill of fare that is worse. When we come to think of the matter the American hen really deserves to be called our national bird instead of the bald headed eagle or the turkey. We do not do fitting honor to this modest member of the poultry tribe and because she Is not so imposing perhaps as the eagle or so toothsome as the turkey we are dis posed to ignore the fact that she leads the entire world in the production of one of our staple foods.
 Although rather dry document itself the humorous feature of MT. Bristow's report on the postoffice investigation are just becoming apparent. Evidently some body has made gross errors, for the as- tonishment and indignation of those &C., cused is either accomplished acting or perfect assumption. Some even say that they never visited cities where they are accused of misdemeanors with govern ment cash; others content themselves with calling Mir. Bristow liar, and still others try to retaliate by making counter charges. About the best reply of this kind was that of an ex-oficial who claimed that the young son of MT. Bris- tow received s7OO year during vacation time for sitting in MT. Bristow's office and reading detective stories. Whatever may be said and done it now looks very much as if the long and tedious matter has been settled. Although the only re- suits seem to be the discovery of great deal of government corruption without a remedy it is pretty safe to assume that the administration will see to 1t that the Investigation goes no further. As it is the scandals unearthed have caused re- publicans to scratch their respective heads, and if report is to be believed MT. Roosevelt is one of them. As is usual the executive comes in for the brunt of ridicule. He is now accused of trying to make a grand stand play for public favor by shielding his wards from popu- lar indignation while at the same time giving political song and dance for ms own penent. P. c.