davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-09-26
YERYANNOYING
This Hardly Expresses What
Honolulu People Say
of It.

Good natured people are often irri-
table.
If you knew the reason, you would
not be surprised.
Ever have itching piles?
Not sick enough to go to bed; not
we'll enough to be content.
The constant itching sensation.
Hard to bear; harder to get relief.
Spells your temper, nearly drives you
crazy.
Isn't relief and cure a long-felt
want?
You can have relief if You will fol-
low the advice of this gentleman.
Mr.. Frank Leibly of 1926 S. Main ST..
Wilkesbarre. Pa, U. s.. who says: ut
is with much pleasure that I testify to
the merits of Doan's Ointment in cases
If itching piles. 1 suffered from that
tormenting affection for the past year.
I tried nearly everything that was rec
commended to me and what I saw adj
vertised,' but could get no relief. Fin
ally l procured Doan's Ointment. After
a few applications I was much re-
lieved, and, continuing the treatment,
1 was soon completely cured. I have
felt no signs of that intolerable itching
since, and 1t is four months ago since
I used Doan's Ointment. To say that
I was delighted is only half expressing
my enthusiasm. 1 recommend this
remedy whenever the opportunity is
presented. You may publish my state
ment at any time and I can always be
found at 326 S. Main street, and will
vouch for the same"
Doan's Ointment Pills for sale by all
dealers; price so cents Mailed by The
HOLSTER Drug Co., agents for the Ha-
waiian Islands.
Remember the name, DOAN'S, and
take no substitute
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-09-26
HOW 1T WAS ADJUSTED
The Clever Work of a Chinese LAWYER
on an Estate,

When Ah-Chung, a Chinaman, died,
it was found that he had left his prop
erty by will to his three sons. as fol-
lows. One-haf to the eldest. one
third to the next, and one-ninth to
the youngest son. When the property
was inventoried it was found to con-
sist of seventeen elephants
Here was a dilemma, for it was i'm
possible to divide the property accord
ing to the terms of the will without
chopping up the seventeenth elephant.
Finally the heirs applied to a wise
lawyer, Sum Punk, for advice, which
they promised to act upon. Sum Punk
had an elephant of his own. He drove
it into the yard with the seventeen.
and said:
Now we will suppose that your
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-09-26
MIGHT ENTER
PEARL. HARBOR

The question which is agitating local
naval officials here just now is the dis
position to be made of the vessels of
the fleet, in case the North Pac'hc
SQUADRON comes to Honolulu, as is re-
ported in the news dispatches. No Of
fc;sl confirms ton of the Associated
Press report has been received at the
Naval Station, but none is expected as
the orders are issued directly to the
commander of the fleet.
There is no need of additional prep
aration here for the reception OF the
squadron, as everything is in readiness
at the Naval Station to take care OF
much larger fleet than that under COM
mand of Admiral Glass.
There is not sufficient dock room to
accommodate all the vessels OF the
squadron at the naval wharVes, ana IL
is probable that some of them Will
have to stay outside. The channel to
the naval wharves has only recently
been dredged to the full depth, so there
would be no trouble in bringing In the
New York right up to the dock.
Another possibility suggested yester-
day was that the squadron might en-
ter Pearl Harbor, although THIS is
hardly probable All of the vessels but
the New York could get into the Icons
without the slightest difficulty. The
channel is wide and deep enough to ac-
commodate even the flagship, but the
difficulty is in the curves in the chan
mel which have not been Strengthened.
There are two necks in the natural
channel, which a vessel the size of the
New York could not turn in, and this
will preclude any possibility of the
cruiser going inside Pearl harbor. The
disposition to be made of the squadron
will probably leave the New York out
side, the Bennington, Boston. Concord
and Marblehead being brought along
side the docks.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-09-26

Now, Ding Bat" said the wise man,
take your ninth and begone.'
So NJ Pin took six elephants and
disappeared.
Then the lawyer took his own ele-
plant and went home again feeling
very we'll satisfied with himself.-Cas-
sells Journal
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-09-26

FOR SPRAINS, SwELLINGS AND
LAMENESS there is no better liniment
than Chamberlain's Pain Balm. Thou
sands can testify to the merit of this
remedy. One application gives relief.
Try it. Benson, Smith & Co., Ltd,
Wholesale Agents. sell it.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-09-26

father left these eighteen elephants.
rum Hum, take your half and depart
So Fun Hum took nine elephants
and went his way.
Now, NJ Pin, said the wise man,
take your third and depart also"
So Uu Pin took six elephants and
went
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-09-26
CULLINGS FROM FILES OF
THE LATEST COAST PAPERS
Various Automobile Incidents Comparative
Food Values--The Hungarian Crisis-Roth-
schiId on Chamberlain. Death of Member
Of Perrys Expedition.

SAN BERNARDINO, Sept. 1S.-Cal-
vim Baker, former proprietor of the
| largest lumber mill on the mountains
above here, has just completed a large
leave Monday for desert prospecting
| trip. Last spring Baker met with bust
ness reverses, after which he started
out penniless for the desert to search
| for gold, enduring many hardships, but
being quite successful.
On returning here he decided to make
some mining machinery and an auto
mobile with which to carry the ma
chinery and provisions to the desert.
and these are now completed, being his
own handiwork. The automobile is
driven by a ten horsepower gasoline
motor, with which he will also operate
his mining machinery, and the auto
mobile is capable of maintaining a
speed of twenty miles an hour, though
he has it geared at six horsepower and
expects to travel on an average of only
five miles an hour.
To the auto he will attach a trailer,
in which to carry his machinery and
provisions. He intends TO be gone at
least three months. His auto, with its
tires a foot in width, was tried here
today, attracting much attention.
HER SPEECH RESTORED.
NEW YORK, Sept. ia remarkable
case, in which a woman has been made
to speak after inability to utter a word
for three years, is that of Miss Emma
Lewis. says a dispatch from Utica, y.
Y She is fifty years old and lost the
use of the vocal chords through
paralysis. A local physician has re
stored their use through electrical ap-
plications of varying power to the
throat She has now regained her full
powers of speech.
FOOD VALUES COMPARED.
WASHINGTON, Sept. 1S.-Dietary
studies among fruitarians in California
are published by the Agricultural De-
partment in a special bulletin. The
studies were made by VI. z. Jaffa. as
sistant professor of agriculture Of the
University of California Fruit and
nuts comprised practically all of the
diet in thirty-nine experiments studied.
The conclusions drawn by Professor
Jaffa from his studies are that fruits
and NUS have much higher nutritiye
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-01-12
Under the stars and Stripes.

Five-year-ol Harold is of the blood
of patriots. His grandfather was in
the Mexican as well as in the Civil
War, and his father is Spanish war
veteran; consequently, says the Wash
ington Star, he has heard much talk
of the flag in his short life, and has
the most exalted ideas of it's protec-
tive qualities.
Not long ago, when the new baby
was born, Harold was put to sleep in
a room adjoining his mothers. and as
he had never slept alone before, his
baby soul was filled with nameless
fears which he was too proud to tell
in full.
ITS awful lonesome in here man.
NAL" he called.
Just remember that the angels are
near you and are caring for you" an
swered his mother, from the next
room.
But, mamma" he objected, II don't
know any angels in particular. and I'd
be scared if any strange angels came
round"
Now, Harold, you must go to sleep.
Nothing will hurt you"
Cant 1 have the gas lighted in
here?"
mo, dear; I don't think it neces-
CeSdTy.
There was silence for some time,
then the small voice piped up again:
20, mammal"
Yes, dear"
MAY l have grandpa's fiag?"
"Why, what for? 1 want you to go
right to Sleep"
"Please, mamma" and a small,
night-gowned figure appeared at the
door. 81 want to stick the flag up at
the head of the bed. You know the
other night grandpa said that any one
protected by the American flag would
be safe, no matter how weak he was.
feel awful weak, mamma. Truly
do"
An hour later, when his mother look
ed in, he was sound asleep, with fat
little fist holding fast the end of the
protecting" flag.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-01-12
BRIGHT BITS.

-Twlst-'T should think you'd be
afraid to write in your novels of things
you don't know the first thing about. 3"
Bluff-"My dear boy, don't you know
that the people who read my books
don't know even as much as that?''-
Boston Transcript IL
why do you want a navy?" ask
ed the Spanish citizen. LAS a matter
of economy" answered the taxpayer.
I'VE have a large number of naval Of
ficers on hand, and to keep them from
going to waste we've got to have a
navy."-Washingto Star.
An Arab and his wife were con-
stantly quarrelling, and the wife al
ways went straightway to her father
and made complaint. One day the
Arab boxed the ears of his better half,
whereupon she went again to her ia
ther and related her grievance, de-
handing revenge. The father, wise
old sheik, shook his head, and after
long reflection boxed his daughter S
ears, and said: Now thou art
avenged. Thy husband has boxed the
ears of my daughter. and l have boxed
the ears of his wife!"-Lustige Blat-
ter
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-01-12
Henry Clay and the Cont.

A story of an amusing encounter be-
tween Henry Clay and a Washington
goat is told by a general of the army,
says the Philadelphia Inquirer. The
story shows that even a great states
man may sometimes find himself in a
position in which advice from the
humblest source may be acceptable.
~I was a boy at the time" says the
general. "Clay and a party of con-
gressmen were walking down Penn
sylvania avenue on their way from the
Capitol. In those days Congress gen.
orally adjourned about 8 o'clock in the
afternoon, much earlier than it does
now. We boys were playing with a
goat owned by Goldman Nailor, the
father of the Nailor brothers.
Mr.. Clay came along in the most
dignified fashion, but there was evil
IDENTIFY something about him which at
tracted the goats attention. With a
bound the goat made for Mr.. Clay,
who saw him coming and appreciated
the danger. We yelled, Look outi'
but that was unnecessary, for Mr..
Clay seized the goat by both horns,
and held him.
THAT was a comparatively easy
matter, but it was a question whether
MI. Aldy Hdu IHc SOdl VI the SOdI llttu
him. AS long as Mr.. Clay held on he
was safe enough, but he knew enough
about goats to know that the moment
he let go he would be butted.
There were various suggestions
made by the congressman present, but
none of them seemed to suit the ex-
igencies of the occasion. Finally Mr.
Clay appealed to the boys. One little
urchin stepped forward and said in a
sharp, shrill voice:
"'Mr. Clay, turn, his head to the
right and run like blazes!'
''Mr. Clay obeyed the Instructions
and an instant later was safe in a
shop. The goat went bounding down
the avenue. When Mr.. Clay came out
of the shop he called the urchin up to
him, patted him on the head and said:
My son. that was the best advice
ever had
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-01-12
HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF.

In letter to the State Department
our consul at Harpoot, Mr.. T. H. Rog-
ers, gives an interesting account of the
introduction of American farming i'm
plements in Asiatic Turkey.
An agency for the sale of these i'm
plements was established in 1901, and
an agent who knew his business was
put in charge of 1t. He soon had an
experimental farm established on which
he used the plows, harrows, drills and
reaping and moving machines and
other things he wished to introduce.
He demonstrated that land cultivated
with American implements would pro-
-duce twice or three times as much as
when cultivated with native imple-
ments, and that they were more con-
venient and enabled a farmer to cul-
tivate his crops at less cost. What
particularly astonished the natives,
however, was the harvesting machine.
The introduction of these implements
and this machinery caused great
commotion in all the country tributary
ing population was up in arms, as it
were. The farm laborers declared
that the introduction of this machin-
cry meant starvation to them, and they
wanted to take summary means to get
rid of ito compel the farmers not to
use it. Wages fell from q cents a day
to Ia. The farmer, on whose farm
experiments were tried with the har-
vesting machine, suffered all sorts of
annoyances, and his life, was made a
burden to him. He persisted, however,
and it Is thought that there will soon
be a large demand for American agri-
cultural implements and machines in
that part of the world.
1t will be recalled that when moving
and Teaping machines were. invented
and began to be introduced in this
country there was a great cutlery
against them by the class of people
that earned a living by working on
farms. 1t was said that this class of
laborers would starve TO death, and
there is no doubt that farm laborers
believed that such would be their fate
AS matter of fact there never was
a time after reaping and moving ma
chimes were introduced when there was
not a demand for farm labor fully as
great as the supply. AT this time farm
labor is so scarce that in many Sec
ton of the country a sufficient num-
Der OF such 1aborers cannot be obtain
ed to meet the needs of the farmers,
In fact. in no part of this country. is
there more farm labor than is needed
If it were not for the harvesting ma
chimes it would not be possible to eul'
tivate profitably and successfully the
great wheat farms of the Dakotas and
California. Opposition to labor saw
ing machines in Asiatic Turkey is ar
instance of history repeating itself. Oul
farm laborers a half a century ago Eel
in regard to such machinery just a!
the farm laborers of Asiatic Turkey to-
| day feel in regard to it.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-01-12
Child Love.
From the Buffalo News.

From the Buffalo News.
When weary and worn with the
struggle in seeking life's coveted
prize.
When clouds of despair hover round
me and shut out the blue of the
skies:
At times when feel so discouraged
and burdened from bearing the
load
That seems to completely o'erwhelm
me while struggling along the
rough road,
IT'S then, for relief, that I turn me
away from the world and en-
Irvine
My arms round the one who still loves
me-this golden-haired baby of
mine.
What temptations can 1 not conquer?
What battles not win, if the prize
Is the love and the mute alteration
that beam in my little ones eyes
With her dimpled arms thrown around
me, and her baby voice in my
ear.
There's sunshine forever about me.
and all of my doubts disappear.
The beacons of hope that inspire me
are the love-lights that trustfully
shine
In the brown eyes of one who adores
me-this golden-haired baby of
mine.
The blossoms of Spring may all wither
and the birds lose their power of
song,
Yet life has sweeter attraction than
these to entice me along:
Her smile, like the sunbeams of noon
day. brings gladness and warmth
and GOOD cheer.
And drives off the shadows of dark
ness and doubt that are lowering
near
God take away from me forever the
riches of earth, but enshrine
The wealth of the love of my treasure
this golden-haired baby of
nnineI
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-01-12
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Louisville Courier-Journal
(Dem) says: THE author of the re-
port that the trouble over the Indian
ola postoffice may be satisfactorily
settled by the retention of the colored
woman as. postmaster and the appoint
ment of white assistant, seems to
have no comprehension of the fact
that such an assistant would be even
more Objectionable to a Mississippi
community than such postmaster
The Philadelphia Record (Dem.)
says: Southern loyalty to the Fed
eral government was not created by
the Spanish war, but 1t was demon
strated by that war to people of the
North who could not shake off the
recollections and Inherited prejudices
of the Civil War. The President be-
longs to a generation that has come
on the stage since that conflict, and is
identified with the war in which the
North and South fought together. The
conditions of the present administra-
ton were remarkably favorable for
the Development of the new national
ism. But this has been largely or
wholly sacrificed for the sake of APP
pointing a few colored people to Fed
eral offices in the South. The Presi-
dent could have recognized the citizen
ship of the colored people in other
ways and have benefited his party and
his country at the same time
The Memphis Commercial-Appeal
(Dem) says: Establish negro col
leges all over the South, and what
would be the result? In the first place
it is doubtful whether the negroes
would go to them. But suppose a GER
tain number of them did go to col
lege, what would be the result on
their character? The higher educa-
ton would be more apt to make them
useless men than dangerous men. They
would be educated out of their sphere
They would soon acquire a contempt
for their own people. They wouldn't
associate with negroes and they
couldn't associate with whites in the
South. They would find the better
kinds OF commercial life barred to
them. Some of them might become
police court lawyers, but surely there
is no need of any more lawyers. Some
might become common school teachers.
But only here and there would any
one of them become a doctor. an ar
fist, or a writer. Most of them would
unquestionably have to go to work for
their living or become mere listless
hangers-on. They would not consti-
tute dangerous class. II is all right
to give the negro an education in the
fundamental branches. but it is a
wanton waste of money to force the
higher education upon him. Any
scheme of this sort must be regarded
as extremely mischieYous."
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-01-12
LOSSES by FIRE AND THEFT.

Statistics of fire losses in the United
States during 1902 would seem to in
dictate that the people are learning the
valuable lesson of taking precautions
against fire. Every year tens of mil
Ions of dollars roll away in smoke, and
a majority. probably, of the fires arise
from preventable causes. The fire
waste, as a matter of fact, is one of
the most serious drains upon the pros
months just ended, however, there was
a decrease of more than $4,000, 900 in
the fire losses in this country. Decem-
Der, the worst month of the twelve
added nearly $120OO,O00 to what at the
end of November looked like $40 OOO,-
900 decrease for the year. Most OF the
December fires occurred during the
holiday week, and many of them re-
suited from the defamation and care
less handling of fireworks and other
explosives. Such losses will probably
continue until the authorities muster
up the moral courage to put a stop to
the discharging of fireworks within
city limits. Stin. the showing for the
year is regarded as quite encourag-
ing. 1t is believed to indicate that
more care is being taken in the con-
struction of houses, to see that fues
are in good order. And then there is
the personal element to be taken into
consideration. When the times are
prosperous, as during the past twelve
months. there are few incsndiary
fires for the purpose of collecting In
surance money.
While the fire losses last year were
considerably less than for the year
before, the losses from embezzlements
We're more than so per cent. greater
Still the embezzlement loss was less
than the average for twenty years.
Last year persons in positions OF trust
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-01-12
TO AVOID CAFE HATTERAS.

1t is reported that preliminary sur
veys have been completed for ship
channel by the inside route from Nor
folk to Beaufort, N. c. The work has
been done by government engineers
under direction of Maj ]. B. Quinn
and Col p. C. Haines. The idea is to
select the best of about three inland
routes between the two points, and to
so broaden and deepen the route Sc
lected that deep draught vessels may
make the passage through 1t. 1t is be-
neved the board of engineers will re-
port in favor of the Albemarle and
Chesapeake canal route. This channel
opens into Currhuck sound. and a
waterway through this territory would
lead from Currituck sound by either
the Roanoke river or the Croatan
sound into PamIico sound. and through
Clubfoot canal to Beaufort. Another
route that is under consideration is
that of the Dismal Swamp canal.
To make a ship channel of either
route would involve the expenditure
of a considerable sum of money, but
the benefits that would be derived by
the coastwise trade would be very
great indeed. The proposed channel
would take ,coastwise vessels inside of
Cape Hatteras and Diamond Shoals,
and the terrors of those two menaces
to navigation would be destroyed, in
so far as certain classes of craft are
concerned. The distance through the
channel would be less than around the
cape, and insurance on cargoes
brought through the inside route could
be effected for less premiums.
BY the expenditure of some few mil
| lions of dollars the government could
construct an inside waterway air
along the coast, from Boston to Flor
| ida. Nature has marked the way and
provided nearly all of the mileage of
deep channel needed. AL that re-
mains to be done is for the govern
| ment to construct the connecting links,
of which there are few needed, and
widen and deepen the channels in GER
tain places. If, instead OF proposing
a subsidy for ship owners who do not
need it. the government would propose
expending a similar sum on providing
a good inside channel down the coast,
for the benefit of shippers and YES
sci owners alike, the scheme would
meet with very little If any opposi-
ton. The inside channel would be not
only a boom to coastwise commerce,
but strong means of defense in times
of war.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-01-12

stole from their employers or clients
sums aggregating ss,769,125. High wa
ter mark in this line was reached in
1854, when the embezzlements amount
ed to S24154. 900. and low water mark
was reached in 1899, when the total
was only $2,21s.S73. OF last years
total the banks lost $2.61O.221. and loan
associations SAT-, 400. Government,
state, county and city officials have
been quite considerate, having appro-
priated to their own. uses only $685.
49S. Clerks, cashiers, bOokkeepers,
etc. in mercantile concerns got away
with 81 ,4S7, 694. These figures are all
too large; but when one considers the
enormous amount of money that
passes through the hands of employees
in a year. it can readily be seen that
lit might have been worse" and that
on the whole the people have been
fairly honest