The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-03-24

1T has, said Mr.. Dooley; "or, to
speak more accurately, tn House iv
REPRESENTATIVES has gone back to wur-
ruk. Tn Sinit is still there with its
feet up on tn desk an it's vinarble nose
burrid in its chest. It's been a great
session iv Congress. 1t will live long
in tn mim'ry iv tn American people
if they don't f'rget. Ivry time I think
~ it, it makes me proud I'm an almost
native iv this country where tn mean
est citizen can go to an
get his rights ii nobody else can.
What has it done, says We? Well,
to begin with, it has smashed tn
thrustS-Well, almost smashed thin
we'll, give thin a good hearty pat, any
how. In tn beginnin' it looked as
though on'y halfway measures wud
be adopted. They was u~nimpOrtant
bills to take tn honey away firm tn
thrustS. to burn hin in lie, to muir
dher thin, to lock thin up FIR life. But
tn leaders iv Congress demanded more
dhrastic measures. Me frind Sinitor
Aldrich, who riprisints a constituency
that's almost as big as my back yard,
was determined that no pains Shud be
spared to bring tn thrusts to their
knees in fear or gratichood.
'Gintlemen," a Y he with a
voice, LII DlllS no" 10 llOl IlleSl III
case. They are we'll enough in their
way. but what is tn use iv attackin'
tn thrusts at their sthrong point which
is their money? They ave great
knots iv this, as I have observed, hav-
in lived in tn house with thin, an tn
best anyWan can do is to pick off a lit
tie at a time he says. My idee is to
attack thin at their weakest point. An
what is their weak point, gintlemen?
1t surely is their binivolence. I propose
to assail thin there. I do it with pain,
FIR as We know, hoWiver brutal me feel
in tO'rd thruStS may be as a pathrite,
as a citizen I have a rale affection fr
wan iv thin. TIL bill l am goin' to
offer in tn name iv me frind Sinitor
Elkins. Who is poundin' his a in tn
cloak-room at this minyit, wrings me
heart. 1t is an assault on all that I
hold deal in life-an' don't eXpict to
sell till it's a good deal dearer,' he says.
But he a v no wan iver knew EraS-
mus Hatch A1drich to fail to respond
to tn call iv jooty howiver ad valorem.,
he says. My country calls me an /
lay aside ivry consideration an rush
to tn bank he says. TIL still small
| voice iv jooty as it ticks off tn figures
on tn tape is iVer in me ear he says.
L am here to belt tn thrusts,' he says,
| AN here I am l move ye, sir, that
We su~bstichoot FIR tn bill entitled a
| Dill " AIuTueI l1lulSlS III ISlc IIlo
but fragrant law entitled "A Bill to
| Civ Thin a Hearty Hug" Undher tn
terms iv this bill. it will be illagal FIR
a thrust to charge anywan FIR its prod
uck more thin it can get, to pay back
money to anyWan, to divide its profits
| with tn poor, to burn down its buildin's
| OnleSS insured, to advance wages, to
| build churches an orphan asylums. or
to create a fund FIR tn missionaries in
| Chiny. If caught in amy iv these nee
faryous Enterprises amy officer Nv a
| thrust Will be lible to a fine iv four mil
| lyon dollars or i~mprisonmint in a loo
nytic asylum or both. AS I said. I
| offer this bill with sad an achin'
heart he saws. But 7 have done me
jooty an with lat [ mus be cOntint.
1 F'rgiVe tn tears iV a Spartan Father
| in-law an, boy, call W New York an
get tWinty-two. twinty Broad he says.
What else has Congress done, says
We? Well, tn House iv Representatives,
4 las passed a bill irritatin' IN arid
plains iv tn West, an a bill to relieve
tn Filipinos iv tn necessity iv askin'
fr relief. 1t has passed tn cheWin'
tobacco tn. flask, tn time iv day, tn
buck an tn lie direct. 1t has sung
or Lang Syne an it's gone home.
That's a good record FIR tn House.
tn Sinit with its TRADITIONS grim
with age is still goin' On, Hinnissy. Me
frind Tiddy Rosenfelt wrote thin a
letther sayin' that they had, done we'll.
They were a credit to tn country an
he was as proud iv thin as he cud be
considherin' tn diff in their age
He wud like to pat thin on tn head
but he cud On'y -ull their Whiskers.
tSinitors,' says he, no Sinit since ]
come iv g has excelled We. If any
wan iv We want a accommodation as
Sinitor s~omewheres else. I will write il
FIR We. I have found . faithful, ac-
comydatin', obligin', industhress, hon
est, yes, indeed. 1 have niver known
We to fail in politeness in shown me
tn dure. Ye have we'll fulfilled tn
best traditions iv ye'er hon'rable body
but We haven't done any wurruk so ]
mus call ye in extra SESSION an ask
We to get busy if we ont want to be
an everlastin' disgrace to tn country,
he says.
AN There We ARE. What's tn
%throuble, says ye? They amt amy
throuble. It's a question iv sinitorya.
courtesy. What's that? Well, Hin
Missy, We see. there amt amy rules il
tn sinit. ~Ivrybody gets up whin he
wants to an hollerS about everything
that comes into his head. Whin Dor
gan vas in Washington, he wint to heal
tn debate on tn naval bill an a sinit,
or was r'readin' tn Life iv NapolyoT
to another Sinitor h was asleep
Sinitoryal courtesy rules tn body. Il
We let me talk, I'll let We sleep. TIL
presidin' officer can't come down with
his hammer an bid wan iv thin vim.
rable men. grim with TRADITIONS, &C
chase himself firm tn fiure. In suck
a case it wud be parfyminthry FIR III
grim sinitor to heave an ink-well at tn
preSidin' officer. Undher sinitorya
courtesy it is prOpe an aven affable tt
call a fellow-sinitor a liar It is tn
hith iv courtesy to rush over an push
his cigar down his throat, to take hin
be tn hair an dhrag him around tn
room OF to Sian him in tn eye on ac'
count iv a diff renee iv opinyon about
collectors iv intarnal rivinue. Southern
sinitors has been knOwn to use a small
case knife in a CONTROVERSY. It is Ell.
ket to take off ye're boots in tn hea1
iv debate. 1t is courteous fr a sinitol
to go to sleep an swallow his teeth
while another sinitOr is maxim a speech
But wanst a sinitor is OH his feet, it is
tn hith iv m~isbehavyOr to stop him ex.