New-York tribune., 1903-03-26
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


THE TALK OF THE DAT.
Mrs Ashton of New-Abany. Ind. according TO
''The Chicago Record Herald" has been the wife OF
four veterans Of the Civil War and has been
granted pensions the widow Of three Of them
Commissioner Ware has been Investigating her
case and finds that It Is without parallel. Her
first husband served four years as private In an
Indiana regiment. and contracted rheumatism, from
which he died In 1875. Two years later she applied
for pension, which granted, and she con-
tinued draw 1t until 1882. when she married
another veteran. and her pension stopped. Hus-
band No. lived for five years. Upon his death
she made her second application, and was granted
a pension his widow. which she continued to
receive until she married for the third time. when
the Pension Bureau promptly notified Of her
third matrimonial venture. and her name was
again dropped from the rolls. In 1883 for the third
time she applied for a pension. representing that
husband No. 8. who captain. had died from
wounds received in the service. Her name was
again added 10 the list without delay. because
experience had taught her how to prepare her
application and the evidence to sustain 1t; but in
1896 along came Major Ashton. also Union vet
who invited her to share his fortunes. and
again she reported her Matrimonial alliance to
the pension Office Husband No. is still living.
Hard 10 Believe-she-You wouldn't think Mr
Henpeck had been married ten years. would You;
isn't he?-(Life.
Brother" Sheldon, author Of 'In His Steps has
a sense OF humor. He tells this story himself
of young couple who applied to him be mar
ried: He performed the ceremony with due So
lernty and congratulated the bride. Then he
observed the bridegroom searching through his
pockets and looking d bit Inundated and ashamed.
81 afraid. parson" he said, that I amt got
any money to pay you with Then. after mo-
ment of deep thought. looking up cheerfully, he
added: But tell you how you can fix your
gas meter 1t won't register
BALLAD OF ANTICIPATION.
S~f WIN osH sHoeR eRe goeS RToHninss Fsne askev;
The pictures I shall paint will shine
Among the famous medaled few;
haven't done them yet but who
Can hurry Art with bribe ,,7I or I'll threat at .
And day I shall kiss Jeanette!
Some day I'll own a copper mine
mansion on the Avenue.
motor motor an and 1 a yacht; tf, IN me m e.
And let the other fellow fret;
Then I shall have more time to WOO,
And some day shall kiss Jeanette!
Some day in Paris shall dine.
OF Ven kenee onatIe naNe a al It1vste rive ebns TieN'
The Tyrol shall . wander .I ,t through Tug Ill.,.
The sorry past shall forget;
The Golden Girl | shall pursue,
And some day shall kiss Jeannette.
Cupid. may miss one or two
&C. Good Cd, things on on which my : heart ear, is set
this. least,
That day shall kiss Jeanette!
frank Roe Batchelder, in Harper's Magazine.
"a strange way of testing the innocence Of
accused person is employed in India, said Phila-
delphia dealer in hides who lately returned from
Madras. They haul the up and give him
mouthfuI Of dry rice to chew. 7 don't suppose you
ever chewed dry rice? Well. it is hard work. 1t
takes deal of chewing to get it nasticated into
glut:nous mass, like gum, and that is the condition
that the accused Is required to get it into within ten
ceed, but If you are nervous and scared you fail.
For it that fear has strong effect upon the
salIyary glands: 1t prevents them from secretTg
saliva The mouth of badly frightened person Is
always dry as bone. 1t requires q tremendous
now Of saliva to chew dry rice, and therefore the
scared prisoner inevitably fails in this test. 1t
isn't. OF course. test employed in the courts OF
the big towns. 1t belongs TO the interior, less
nghtened villages"
The question was asked in examination paper.
as follows: ''Herod a tea-tray was the fourth part
OF Judea. "-(London Outlook.
W. c. Edwards of Ottawa, Of the newly
appointed Senators, is a lumberman who operated
far up the Gatineau River and he tells this story
in THE Toronto Globe OF shantyman who had
spent a couple Of seasons working for him in
the bush, and vas coming out again shortly after
the death OF Queen Victoria:
At Maniwski the shantyman made his first stop
the way down, and In chat with the hotel
gone to the woods
"Oh. there's nothing much I spoSe you
heard up there that the Queen was dead?"
mo; you don't tole de Queen was dead!
I'm sorry I hear dat; I'm sorry. She was a coed
woman de Queen. an a good Queen, too Well.
we'll all die tam. de Queen"
After a short respectful pause. he asked. "An'
who's got de Job now? Who's de head now?"
''Oh, Edwards the King now. It's King Edward
for the last three months"
Edwards de King! Well. we'll. you don't toie
mo Edwards de KinG He's beeE man in de
lumber beesress. but never expec to hear of
him be de King. What pull dat man Edwards
mus have wiz Laurier!'
Had a Large FamiIy-It is said that a farmer
living near Fulton was standing In hTs barnyard
few days ago when a we'll dressed STRANGER leaned
against the fence and inquired how much he would
take .6 for one s.Sd Of the. the cows In the lot.
two more like herr"
The farmer: thinking he had chance to dispose
stranger for 500.
All right" said the stranger beginning to climb
the fence, Il want them to furnish milk for my
How many children have you?' asked the
farmer. in some astonishment.
NINETY three. was the calm reply.
man his name With the purpose Of Ssndns sE an tne ae
COUNT OF his life and public services to President
Roosevelt as evidence that American families are
not gro~inE smaller; when two guards from the
stranger gently SWey.-CKanHAs City Journal