davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
FORDHAM COLLEGE FARM.
Sixty Acres ON Which Are Grown
Vegetables for Estab1is h m ent.

Sixty Acres ON Which Are Grown
Vegetables for Establishment.
st. John college at Fordham, N. Y,
is one Of the largest farmers Of the
Bronx The. glebe lands of the col
lege, closely bordering Bronx park, are
about sixty acres in extent. Here the
farmer Of the college grows hay and
corn for nearly a score of cows and
keeps a walled garden in which are
grown fresh vegeta bles for the table.
The whole arrangement smacks of the
medieval monastery, says the New
York Times, only the clergy do not
work the glebe. Nevertheless st.
Johns is the only college in New York
city that in part supplies it's own table
from its own land. The score of cows
do not give enough milk for the needs
of the college and the products of the
garden must be supplemented from
the markets, but the whole situation
serves to recall time when st. Johns
was really in the country, when the
great, ugly town had not penetrated
the grounds and the smiling glebe
lands actually produced enough to feed
both teachers and pupils.
The long row of farm buildings and
especially the old-fashioned barn with
it's dependent cowsheds bespeak the
earlier conditions. A long, narrow farm
lane lined with giant elms leads east
ward to the rear fields of the glebe and
still looks as it must have looked when
all the region round was yet unspoiled
country. The farmer lives in one Of
the row of farm buildings, and the
strange impertinence of child's cart
in the college garden indicates the
presence of the lay element.
Oddly mixed with farming imple-
ments are old desks and chairs from
the school-room, and olu furniture of
various kinds from the lodgings of
the teachers and Students while
priests in long robe and biretta occa-
sionally take their constitutional along
the farm lane in the wake Of the farm
er and his laborers.
How long st. Johns can maintain its
old farming traditions nobody can tell,
but the time must come when it will
no longer be profitable to keep the
glebe under cultivation. The yearly
growing beauty of Bronx park is con-
stantly adding to the value Of the
glebe, and the development of the
whole region round about it is contrib
uting to the same thing. Already the
extension of the elevated railroad to
the entrance OF the park has taken a
considerable slice off the fine old col
lege campus, and some years ago the
college authorities leveled a bit of the
ground to the north of the campus
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Horses Scare and High.

'T have not known a period when
horses were SO scarce and high" said
T. e. Gilbert of Cincinnati at the Hotel
Barton. 81 am in the business and
have of late been securing Kentucky
and Ohio with a view of purchasing
a good-sized bunch, but had very poor
success. More people want to buy
than sell, and prices are at a point
where it is impossible for dealers to
make any profits. The country was
drained Of horse flesh during our war
with Spain, and further depletion was
caused by the Boer war. It will take
several years to make up the deficiency,
and high prices will continue. The au-
tomobile craze has had no perceptible
effect on the demand for high-class
animals, and I do not believe that it
will ever get SO violent as to make
people Indifferent to the delight of sit
ting behind pair of high steppers.''-
Washington Post. #
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
BOLD ROBIN HOODS DAY.
May I the Anniversary of the Deatl
of the Noted Woodsman.

May 1 the Anniversary of the Death
of the Noted Woodsman.
An immense lot of leases still date
from May 1, says the New York Com
mercial Advertiser, but not many of
the lessons or lessees know that this
is simply an adjournment of a few
days from st. Georges day, from
which the leases of their ancestors
used to run. This again dates from
the more remote period when the date
was fixed at the time of one moon
after the spring equinox. May day as
day for strikes Of workmen Is not
thing of recent years. 1t has the
sanction of centuries, IL of nothing
else. May is the day on which bold
Robin Hood was bled to death by his
treacherous relative, and sped his last
arrow, which marked where his grave
should be. The date is at least as GER
tain as that on which Remus made his
unlucky jump over the rising walls
of Rome Robin Hood was the hero
and saint of the common people of
England, and for centuries the May
day festivities were joined to celebra-
tions of his deeds, and to exultant pro-
phecies of the day when conditions
should be equalized after the ideal Of
this knight of their own.
1t has happened ever since that when
the sun enters the sign Of Taurus and
Robin Hoods day approaches, the
sturdy descendant of his woodsmen,
working at the mechanics bench, feels
a strange fever burning in his blood.
He feels that he would like to have a
reckoning with certain ''rich earles"
whom he wots of. He grows impa-
tient toward the ''fat bysshoppes and
the archbysshopes," and works him
self into such a fighting mood that
if interfered with he would not hesi-
tate to take a fall out of even the
''hye sheryffe Of Nottinghame." So he
throws down his tools and hies him
off to the "green forest" where shaws
be sheen and shards full fair" to-
gether with a brass band and plenty of
refreshments. Perhaps he will bring
to terms the proud Norman who owns
the shop; perhaps not; anyway, he has
his fun.
The floral festivities of the day, in
these times and in this country usually
adjourned to the first Saturday in May
are a survival of the old Roman festi-
vities in honor Of the goddess Flora
The May queen is Flora herself i'm
personated. The rigging up of boy
consort Is an fmpertinent and ridicu-
lous innovation, which should, if pos
siole, be abolished.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14

rate you are eating them," continued
Mrs. Puffer, quietly.
Mr.. Puffer solemnly helped himself
to large. thick slab of the pudding,
and began slowly slowing it away.
Martha he said, gravely, after a
few minutes of this labor, IF 1 own
up that am little-just a trifie-too
old and stout to pick cherries as well
as 1 did when was boy, don't you
think the hospital would appreciate
donation of some nice, luscious cher
ries "-Ysuth's Companion.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14

his of the
will lose value extent exposed
varnish Old
staining film with solution the Camera Notes.
specimens photographers
finished print
nstncve determines himself whether that of tall
idea of talness something
OF
in
things
oto-Am
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
ssBIUI.'' -

He wasn't purty-nary bit; the wrinklin'
hand O. Time
Had written strange devices in the tan
and powder CRIME;
But prospectin' his character, there'd
crop out everywhere
Eich streaks O. golden placer that yoV'd
never dreamed was there.
and. spite of all his LONELINESS, some
how his rugged face
Jest seemed to brace a feller up and
give i'm savin' grace,
When times was hard and grub was high
an the colors far between,
And into the starving miners life there
widened the streak % lean!
There widened the streak O. poverty
when all O. the world was blue;
When shovel an pan were red with rust,
with nothing at all to do;
] don't jest savey the why of it-and
reckon L never will
That l somehow failed to appreciate the
worth of my pardner, Bill.
It's shorely hard to understand the ways
o. the human mind,
For we grow indifferent-like to gold, the
more O. the stuff we find.
Twas so with me; I'd lived SO long with
old Bill at my side
That | never jest knew the worth of
him till my pardner up an died.
'Good-by, old man" he says, says he,
a-lookin' toward the skies
The light O. new discovery a-shiPin' in
his eyes
Il see across the great divide, an like a
golden flame,
l catch the CLEAN an glitter of my ever
lasting claim!'
An then he died-my pardner Bill!
There warn't no better Bills!
An know he washes gravel on the
everlastin' hills
The golden sand in the Stream O. Life
a hundred to the pan!
For the Lord won't play him low down,
cause my pardner was man!
For fifty year O. storm an sun Bills
blanket has been mine;
And his friendship never broke a strand,
though it stretched from '49.
He loved me! which the same is mighty
comfortin' to me,
For l know my pardner's grub-staked
for a long eternity!
San Francisco Bulletin.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
MISSED HIS ENGAGEMENT.
Willy John Chinaman Could Not Es-
cape From Police Clutches.

Willy John Chinaman Could Not Es-
cape From Police Clutches.
Some time ago a squad Of Manhat-
tan police raided a fan tan game in
Chinatown. Eleven Cinnamon were
captured and kept in a third story
front room in charge of Detective
brennan until the patrol wagon came
for them. While they were waiting
for the wagon one Of the prisoners
said to brennan.
ME got to go. Ne got velly import
ant engagement"
''I suppose so,'' said the detective,
"but you've got a more important en-
gagement at the police station.
The Chinaman begged like good
fellow, but brennan was obdurate.
me give you five dollals if you let
me co." the prisoner finally whispered.
mo use, John. Even if I let you
out of the room," said the detective,
''the police would catch you at the
lower door. They are guarding that"
AS quick as a flash the Chinaman
answered: 'That's allie light. You let
me out, me go upstairs, get out on
roof, and go down other building.
Police no catchee me-"
Cant do it, john" brennan per-
sisted. They've got you prisoners all
counted. If I turn over only ten III
have troubles Of my own"
"Me fix that the Chinaman ans
wered, without moments hesitation.
"Me go to window, call a Chinaman
friend up from street. When he come
to this door you pull him in and
run out See? You have eleven
plisoners allie same, and police can't
tell one Chinaman from other.''
But Notwithstanding his cunning,
John had to go to the station, and his
.velly important engagement was
broken.-Brooklyn Eagle.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
HOLDING HIM TO HIS WORD
It Does Not Pay to Make Too Sweep
ing Statements.

1t Does Not Pay to Make Too Sweep
ing Statements.
"My DEAR" said Mr.. Puffer, with
some dismay, as a smoking cherry
pudding was placed on the table be-
fore him, don't you think you are
sort Of running to cherries lately? Of
course 1 hope that 1 shall always be
cherished by you, but when it comes to
cherries in some form every meal
just cherries or stewed cherries or
cherry pie or cherry pudding,-I be-
lieve could cheerfully donate some Of
our cherries to our less fortunate
neighbors."
"Well. john" said his wife, calmly,
ST suppose you remember what you
said when you insisted on picking the
cherries yourselfp
placently, "there was a clean-cut, neat,
workmanlike job for you, in spite of
all your fears and opposition. In
stead of the grass under the tree be-
ing piled a foot deep with litter of
leaves, twigs and branches broken
from the tree, as it invariably is
when you send boy rampaging after
any damage to. it, and consequently
with hardly a single leaf to be raked
up off the grass. And I got all the
cherries without breaking any Of my
arms or legs or necks, as you so cheer
fully predicted, too. Still, while I
admit 1 am proud Of the job, 1 do not
think it absolutely necessary to live in
definitely upon those cherries I gath
| cred"
"You haven't eaten a single one out
of the few quarts you gathered, John" +"
said Mrs. Puffer, positively. II canned
all Of them
'well, where does this safety of
cherries I've had inflicted upon me for
the past two days come from, thenY'
demanded Mr.. Puffer.
DO you remember what you said
when I asked you if the few you
picked were all it was possible to get
| from the tree. John?' asked Mrs. Puff
fer, with twinkle in her eye.
'Why, ye-es," acknowledged Mr..
Puffer, thoughtfully and suspiciously.
"What was it?" persisted his wife,
the twinkle widening.
"We-ell, I believe said that If any
body could get any more off that tree
I'd eat them, stones, stems and every
thing" admitted Mr.. Puffer reluct-
antly.
ST havn't insisted upon the stones
and STEMS" said his wife, demurely.
"Ehy' exclaimed Mr.. Puffer.
"But little Jimmy Ballou got enough
| to last about three weeks longer at the
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
sipns of H.drophobia.

AS to hydrophobia: Beware Of the
dog when it becomes dull and hides
away; appears restless; always on the
move and prowling; whose counte-
nance is somber and sullen; walks with
head down, like bear. Beware of
one that scratches necessarily and
tears up things. Look out for the dog
that has become too fond of you and
is continually trying to lick your hand
and face. Beware, above all, Of the
dog which has difficulty in swallow
ing, which appears to have bone in
it's throat, and one that has wandered
from home and returns covered with
dirt, exhausted and miserable.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
A Synonym.

David Warfield, the actor. was very
promising scholar as lad when he
attended the public schools of San
Francisco.
Il remember an examination" said
he, (which was the hardest thing
ever had to get through. The teacher,
1 understand, has kept some of my an
swers, which she says are much more
humorous than edifying. Among a
bunch that she sent me recently was
my answer to the query, What Is a
synonym 1t ran:
! ga synonym is a word we use in
place of one we don't. know. how to
spell
ssClever, wasn't 1t? Yet lot Of fel-
lows appropriated that as their own,
and Belasco says other fellows were
just as bright as was, years before I
was born. Isn't that discouraging to
budding genius T'-St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
He Never Worried.

|. A lady waited for hours at a wayside
station Of the Midland Great Western
Railway. The train came along and
she got in. The hours dragged by, and
at each stoppage she asked if it was
Sligo. Finally the guard became irri-
tated. Don't worry, madam; I'll let
you krow when we reach Sligo" "But
I've been nearly all day on my jour-
ney." "Well, madam, I've been on this
railway three years, and I'm not wor
rying." Poor man" she retorted,
''you must have started the next sta
ton beyond mine.''
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14

proper, as If in anticipation of time
when the campus might be extended in
that direction. The time will surely
come when the glebe will be further
narrowed by the sale of portions not
and the farm will be merely ira
dition,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14

when 1 come back for always 1 may
ask you for something. May I hope
that
A sudden flood of red dyed the girls
pure face.
"Ask, and it shall be given thee
she quoted, softly.-New York Daily
News
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
FARM LAD TOOK HoNoRs AT YALE.

Professors call Frederick Erastus
Pierce, of South Britain, Conn, the
most remarkable student Yale Univer-
sity ever had. He entered three years
ago from his fathers farm, where he
had been toiling in the fields. His
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14

every aspect betokened the plowboy.
But in a short time he began to. at
tract attention. In the first year he
won three prizes and the Woolsey
scholarship, and has kept up his rec
ord. Pierce is working his way
through college.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Force of Habit.

The boss plumber had become mul-
ti-millionaire and was going abroad
for his health. On the voyage over a
school Of whales were sighted and the
boss plumber was seen to rub his
hands in ecstasies.
"Why is he SO happyr' asked curl
GUS tourist.
"He can't help IT, whispered the
captain. "He imagines each spout is
bursted water pipe, to be repaired by
him at his old rates"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Twas Eyer Thus,

''The world is backward about COM
ing forward with its appreciation"
never think of strewing flowers on
mans grave until after he is dead"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Not ReaasurinS.

'Do you know what precautions the
proprietor Of this hotel has taken
against fire?" asked the nervous old
lady as the bellboy escorted her to
room on the fifth floor.
''Sure 1 do" replied the knowing
youth. ''De boss has got de joint in
shoor'd fer two times de worth Nv it.
Seer"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
From Experience.

Rudolph, dear, the people next door
wish to borrow our lanterns for lawn
fete.''
"Don't lend them.'
"But they can't hurt the lanterns
''Oh, you don't know. If you loan
them the lanterns they'll want to bor-
row tables, cloths, knives and dishes.
Then as our lawn is larger than theirs
they'll want to borrow that. Afterward
they'll ask our children to help out as
walters"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
An Accom- mmodatiue stork.

The following order was received a
few days ago by a Chicago grocery
firm:
"Please ship at once by freight, one
bag salt, fourteen lb shuger. The stork
brought us a baby last night and box
crackers, also one barrel soap. 1t
weighed nine lb.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14

Wife Of New Minister-Now, Davie,
you'll have to look after the church
better than this or we will have to
think about getting a new beadle.
Davie (beadle of long standing, Sc
erey)-Mistress Nicholson, we whiles
change oor minister, but we never
change oor beadle. .,.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Automobility,

"Steam, eh? Isn't 1t rather noisy"
"Oh, no. Except for a slight putting
when it is climbing a very steep hill
or running over an extraordinarily
large person, quite noiseless."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Enouxl, Said.

Nell-so Jack asked permission to
kiss you, eh?
Bess-Yes.
Nell-You refused 1t, of coursel
Bess-C Certainly.
Nell-What did he say thenf
Nothing. Actions speak loud
er than words-and Jack Il all right
a. an actor.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Not So Reckless.

do you take this internally?" asked
the customer as he put the bottle in
his pocket and took his change.
"Me?" said the druggists new assist
ant. "Great Scott, no! I sell it,
Stray Stories.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Reduced Rate.

Mamma, give me a penny, please,
for a glass of lemonade"
But dear, if it's only penny, it
can't be good"
Eyes, it is, but they're selling it
cheap cause a dog fell in it,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Recognized at Last.

He-But what reason have you for
refusing to marry me?
She-Papa objects. He says you are
an actor.
He-Give my regards to the old boy
and tell him I'm sorry he isn't a news
paper critic.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
iNGS HERE AND THERE
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-Sayings
and Doin9s that Are Old, Curio and
LauEhabIe-The Weeks Humor.

'"I can't see what you find in me to
admire" said the lovelorn youth who
had recently blown himself for a
$3.50 engagement ring.
why" gurgled the fluffy haired an
gel of his domestic dreams, that's
just what everybody else says"
And Immediately the silence became
oppressive.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Poultry and Eggs.

The last census gave the value Of
poultry raised in the United States dur
ing the year 1899 as $136,S91, ,S77; Of
eggs produced in the same year, $144,-
2S6, ,15S.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
When Talk Comes High.

ssOh, well, talk is cheap" sneered
the angry lawyer.
mot that kind" replied the Judge
promptly. "Ten dollars" please
Syracuse, N. Y, Herald.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
A Definition.

"Pa, what is fray?"
"Why, my son, that is what a per-
son who has never been in a fight
calls it."-Puck.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
BACKED to Win.

She (after the engagement)-Why
We're you so nervous when you pro-
posed?
He-Oh, was merely acting part.
1 didn't want you to know how sure
was Of your answer.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
His Plea

'My plea" said the young lawyer,
who had just won his first case, 'seem
ed to strongly affect the jury"
YES" replied the judge, II was
afraid at one time that you would sue
ceed in getting your client convicted
in spite of his innocence"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Woman1ike.

Mrs. Popley-What do you think3
Baby spoke her first word to-day!
Mr.. Popley-Well, we'll! And it won't
be many years before she'll be hav-
ing the last tword.-Philadelphi Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14

Drunkenness Among Women.
Out of every 100 cases Of drunken
ness brought before magistrates in
England, thirty are women.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Se1f-ApprovaI.

''Well," said the detective, there is
one thing upon which we may con-
gratulate ourselves in this case"
.'Why, you haven't even found an
important clew."
'That's just it. We can rest as
sured that no innocent person is go
ing to er.'-Washington Star.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
No Reciprocity.

Fairy in the pink shirt waist-Reg-
gle boasts that you're his best girl!
Sweet young thing in blue-Maybe
am, but he amt my best feller by
long shot.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
In the Punnx Glass,

He-But I am willing to wait if you
will give me some hope.
She-Well, suppose you wait nine
days; perhaps your eyes will be open
then.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
circumstantia1 Evidenc..

Tommy-Was that your mother I
saw with you yesterday? FL
Willie[I guess so; t any rate she's
the one who carries the key. to the jam
closet at our house.-Boston Tran
script.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Stranger-What is your best paying
Professional Adviee,

Doctor" said the .timid patient,
I'm fond of the water. but 1 don't
want to risk taking cold. What shall
Io2,s ..
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14

Stranger-You have q fine farm
here.
Farmer-Right yew air, stranger. I
low as it be one O. the finest in these
parts.
Stranger-What is your best paying
crop?
Farmer-Summer boarders.-Chicago
News. ..s ...,.E....
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Theaters i'm New York.

Thirteen new theaters, to cost S.
600, 600, are being built in New York
city.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14

Take it hot" replied the wise pill
compiler 1.-TWO dollars. please"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Ha Preference.

Magistrate-It will be either $40 or
thirty days, Uncle Rastus. You can
have your choice.
Uncle Rastus-Ah's much erblige, yo'
honnah, an All reckon yo' all had bet
tab glib me de money, sab.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-08-14
Vain.

did you find the Chinese vain
peopleY' s
"Very. To hear Chinese brag you
could almost believe an American was
talking"