davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
A eRIToN's IDEA OF FREEDOM.

It Was to Roll Himself on the White
House Lawn, and He Did 1t.
II never 60 to Washington that l dc
not think of a young Englishman who
went around the city with me dozen
years ago." said a man who had just
returned from the Inauguration cere'
monies. I'VE saw everything that there
was to be seen. He was pleased with
everything, and he said so; but the
thing that impressed him most was the
lack Of formality and the absence Of
guards.
'He never tired talking Of this and
comparing the simplicity Of the ar
rangements in Washington with the
way the rulers of Europe are guarded.
Particularly he was impressed by the
fact that any one who wished was al.
lowed to go into the White House
grounds, and wander around without
showing any passes or credentials Of
any kind.
'Well, one day we were wandering
around and we went up past the White
House. The Englishman stopped and
watched the stream Of men and women
going into the grounds.
"'By Jove,' he said, 1t is wonderful
and no mistake. Why, they let you dc
just as you please. DO you know,
think that IL fellow wanted to he
could 60 In there and roll over on the
lawn and there wouldn't be person
who would think of speaking to hin
about It. OF course, no one would
speak to him about It,, said. What's
more, IL you want to do 1t I'll stay here
and watch you, and If any one does
say anything about it I'll help you licl
him.
"'Wlll your he said.
"T mean it, said.
"He looked at me for minute ant
then he walked into the White HOus'
grounds. There was crowd there, bu
no one paid the least attention to him
He went out on the lawn, right in from
of the main entrance to the building
and lay down fiat on his back. The
he rolled over three times, slowly an,
deliberately. Then he got up an,
walked out of the grounds, as happy a
though he had found $40.
"No one looked at him, and no on
spoke to him; to roll over on the Whit
House lawn might have been the proT
er thing to do so far as the attentio
that it attracted went. The English
man said that If he had acted that wa
in any of the capitals on the other sid
he would have been locked up as
dangerous character. He was yer
proud of his exploit and l suppose this
he is still telling the story Of 1t in Ei
gland."-New York Sun.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
CHAPTER VII.

On the day Of the counts departure
from the Chateau Montaubsn, there stop
ped at the cottage Of Hugh Lamonte q
young peasant, dressed IN coarse but
neat garb. and carrying across his shoul-
der q heavy stick. on which swung bun
die neatly tied up In q large cotton hand
kerchief.
This person was Of something above the
medium height, light and athletic In form,
and with straight. shapely limbs, whose
grace and activity his rude dress could
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
The ounce of Prevention.

Cholly-Whst makes you think old
Nlggard thought you had come to him
10 borrow money!
Jack-0h. he began talking righi
away about how hard up he waA-
Someryille Journal
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Grief.

When the postman brought the wild
ow only bill for her mourning gowns,
she burst into tears.
"How cruel and indelicate to make
me think of earthly things when my
grief is SO neww she walled. BE
sides the gowns don't ft!'
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Accom- odating.

Mendicn nt-Can you help poor man
out, sirr
Fat Party--I am sorry am too stout
to grant your request, but have big
bouncer In the other room, and he Will
give you any assistance you need.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08

Some physicians declare" remark
cd the statisticiRn, that there is as
much strength in a couple Of eggs as
In a pound Of beef"
"HuhP snorted the actor, ARE you
sure they mentioned beef or Lmburg-
er cheessr'-Philadelphia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
A Reminder.

Clerk-Here is an order from Smiths
for two quarts Of berries, but 1t
doesn't say what kind.
Grocer-Send them billberries. They
owe us over a hundred dollars.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Then He Pondered,

Rose-Isn't it funny, Mr. Sapp, how
one PERSONS feelings affect othersl
Charlie Sapp-How do you mean?
Rose-Why, you said you felt better
when you Travelled, and so did every
one around here.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Never Wore Them.

THAT chap must have come out here
to starve," said Amber Pete.
"Why so?" asked the new arrival In
the Western town.
Hes a collar salesman"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
JOUR- BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND Do
INGS HERE AND THERE

Jokes and JokeIets that Are supposed
to Have Been Recently Born-sayinEs
and Dolngs that Are Old, Curious ana
Laughable-The Weeks huAor'
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Great salvation.

Superstition Is a great thing" said
the returned explorer.
Speaking from experience" asked
the close friend.
"Yes, sir. Why, on the last voyage,
when we were Just about to famish,
every man discovered a rabbits foot
In his pocket, and we had rabbit-foot
SOUP"
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
THE GLACIER
Published Every Thursday
Sl.5O A YEAR.

Advertising, SO cents per inch, single
column, per month; one-half inch or
less, 25 cents. Reading notices, B cents
a line each insertion.
THE GLACIER prints all the local
news fit to print.
When you see it in THE GLACIER
YOU may know that others see it.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08

"As for me-" said the boastful stran'
ger, II don't know what fear Is.
"Ah," observed the man who car
ried one eye in a sling, then you are
bachelorT
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
fharn TrnNsI.

The Actor-Do many actors come to
this localityf
The Farmer-Should say so. Why,
| can't keep a fence because the boys
use all the rails to ride them out Of
town on. e
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
WnnId Ne~er no.

81 was thinking" said the architect
"that you might call the house The
Crescent"
"NOt on your llfe," protested the pro
prietor Of the new theater, "that would
be 4 hoodoO from the start. The cres-
cent is never full."-Philadelphis
Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Worse than Lottery.

Love, after all is lottery"
"It's worse than that, my boy, for
when a man draws prize it frequent
ly costs him all he's got. detroit
Free Press
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08

A machine that washes and dries s.
600 dishes an hour has been Invented.
and II Is guarant ed that plates. cups.
saucers. and other dishes come out Of
the wash without a scratch.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
One of Many

Miflkins-How does your friend
Hooker spend his time since he retired
from active business2
Bifkins-Qh, he fishes all summer
and lies about it all winter.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
About Women.

Some women are close observers and
all women are clothes Observers
Somerville Journal.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08

"They are a family OF marked social
distinction"
why marked"
$50 people will know 1t, | suppose" "
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Her Last Chance,

'STAst man, my dear, who courts Miss
Sere
Is rather fast, they say"
Hell have to be quite fast or she
Wont let him get away"
Baltimore Press
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Columbia River & Northern Railway Co.


Wahkeaens DAILY, Centerville, Goldendale and
all Klickitat Valley points.
Steamers leave Portland daily Except Sun
day) a. m, connecting with G. r. q n ira ms
at Lyle 5:1j p. m. for Goldendale, arrives The
Dalles $3.50 p, IN.
Steamer leaves The Dalles daily except Sun.
day. 1880 a. m.
&. r. 4 n. trains leaving Goldendale $40 a.
m. connects with this steamer for Portland, ar
riving Portland 6 p. m,
Steamer Metlako PLYING between Cascade
Locks and The Dalles, leaves Cascade Locks
daily except Sunday a. M, arrives The
Dalles II 80 a. m. Leaves The Dalles p m, ar
rives Cascade Locks p. m.
The steamer Bailey GatZert leaves Portland
a. m. Tuesdays Thursdays and Saturdays;
leaves The Dalles a. m. Mondays, Wednesdays
and Fridays Round trip tickets between these
points SO cents Good on Steamer "Bailey
Gatzert" only, affording an excellent opportu-
nifty to view the magnificent scenery of the
Columbia river.
Excellent meals served on all steamers Fine
accommodations for teams and wagons.
For detailed information of rates, berth res
ervations, connections, etc, write or call on
nearest agent. II. 6. Campbell,
Gen. office, Portland Or Manager.
Beele & Morse Agents, Hood River, Or.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08

Wederly-Tm learning to swear IN
French.
Singleton-Because why?
Wederly-Becaus my wire mas
transferred her patronage to a French
milliner.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Putting Him Wiae.

He ION the beach)-What a pity to
go into the water with that pretty
bathing suit.
She-Oh, l am not going into the
water. This is the suit take my sun
bath in.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
A Snare Room.

Were a trihe upset." said the man
who lives in a fiat. Had to take all
our winter clothes out of the hall
closet"
why, how was thatY
ITO put up a cot in 1t; friend from
out of town dropped in yesterday anc
spent the night with us."-Philadel
phia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08

Burgomaster (bowlng politely to
scarecrow)-The man Is certainly
ragged-looking, but he is indeed polite.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Tnr.nInna Artiat.

Friend-How did you ever get that
beautiful red sunrise.
Artist-I sketched a tomato.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08

The optmlst-sunshine always fol-
lows rain.
The Pesslmist-Rain always follows
sunshlne.-Somerville Journal
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Apprehensive.

Misunderstanding, ww-hat are
those heavy sounds on the stairs?
Madge-That's only papa walking in
his sleep.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Paid fer Her Trouble.

Tess-Roxley's young widow has 81
100000, hear.
Jess-Yes; but just think of earning
that much money in one year.
Tess-Why, she didn't earn the
money herself-
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08

Jess-Of course she did. Wasn't she
married to him for a yearf-Philadel
phia Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
wherein They Differ.

Little Willle-Say, pa, what's the
difference between lunch and a
luncheon
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
A Long job.

Newsum-I suppose you heard that
Bragg had committed suicide.
Grewsum-You mean Bragg, the
self-made manf
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Newsum

Grewsum-Well, we'll; so he finished
himself at last, eh?-Philadelphia
Press.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
All in the Family

He-WiH you be my wife?
She-Certainly not.
He-Then will you grant me one ia
vor2
She-What is it?
He-Be a mother to me. Father is
going to propose to you tonight.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
Natural Dninctinn.

PA lunch, my son, is light din
ner and a luncheon is a light lunch.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08

Willie (skeptically) - Does-er-d'
does he sleep with his shoes on?-Bal'
timore American.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08

HArdupp-My wife is sick, doctor
What win you charge for attending
herr
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08

Physician-Three dollars visit.
Hardupp-We ell-er-we don't care to
entertain visitors Couldn't you make
II a ten minute call for a dollarI
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1903-10-08
REGULATOR LINE

PORTLAND AND THE DALLES ROUTE
All Wsy Landings.
STEAMERS
BAILEY GATZERT" "DALLEs CITY"
"RKGULAT0R" "METLAKO"
Conoootip1 at vla Wash with
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26
CULVER'S LITTLE NAVY
AN ADDITION IN THE SHAPE OF TWO
MAN-OF-WAR CUTTERS.
Mfddies Will Use Them on Lake Max
inkuckee This Summer to Learn
the Art of Sailing.

Correspondence of the Indianapolis Journal
CULVER, Ind, April A.-Two man-of-
war cutters left the Portsmouth navy yard
a few days ago a strange journey. No.
not on a filibustering expedition, nor for
the north pole. nor for over the sea, nor.
In fact, on the water at all. but for long
cruise overland, through scenes that no
man-of-war cutter ever saw before, and
into a State where man-of-war cutters are
as rare as birds of the sea. No, they are
not sailing through the air under the COM
mand of a Santos-Dumont or a Langley.
but with their sails furled, their masts un-
stepped and laid across their thwarts, they
are rumbling steadily along over long
straight lines of smooth steel rails. In fact,
they are on fat cars, and are bound for a
little lake In the middle OF the middle West
ern State of Indiana.
At Annapolis Uncle Sans cadets learn
in their two-masted cutters how to handle
sails and oars how to steer. and the rules
of the road" Then a saucy little steam
launch appears on the scene. and from time
to time displays on her slender mast a
And the cutters, just as though they were
cruisers OF great squadron and the launch
q stately flagship, maneuver into line OF
column. or do this or that as the gay little
signal flags command
Here at Culver. on Lake Maxinkuckee
each summer is similar interesting and
pleasing sight. There is not the smell oil
the salt. and no big ocean whitecaps, but
the rest Is all there. Strangely enough. 90
this fresh-water school IN Indiana Is ths
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26

New York Commercial Advertiser
Mr.. Owen Wister tells story on himself
in which he personally takes great delight.
1t seems that the author of The Vir-
ginian," while in Washington some time
ago. was presented to the wife OF a very
high government official-a very ample lady
and one whose appearance indicated that
she possibly enjoyed the material comforts
of life more than the aesthetic. When
Mr.. Wister's name was mentioned TO her
a look of intelligence spread over her gen.
erous features aid she regarded him with
considerable interest. Naturally enough
Mr.. Wister is accustomed to this display
of interest I'm people who meet him and so
he stood first on one foot and then on the
other, after the manner OF successful lit
erary men who are waiting for something
complimentary TO come. It came. The
lady beamed once or twice In preliminary
sort of way and then remarked with genu-
Inc feeling: You know that it's often
very hard to catch the names of people
who are introduced to you, and sometimes
it's harder to remember them, but in your
case it's so different / really want TO tell
you. Mr.. Worcester, how much like your
Saucei"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26
DECEIVE POLICE NATIONS.
Innocent-Appeering Women Who Are
STEPPED I'm Sin.
Kansas CITY Journal.

Kansas City Journal.
81 have been entertaining the usual num-
Der OF women the past week" said Police
Matrcn Mrs. Patti Moore yesterday. and
among them were the same innocent. sweet
faced girls who come 20 my department.
with more OF less frequency. / have been
In police headquarters for fourteen years
and am reasonably well informed ss 20 the
hall marks Of crime and depravity. but
there will never be time when the girl
who Is bad and looks good will not be able
to deceive the most experienced police ma
iron in the world There Is no use telling
that the signs OF depravity are discernibie
on the faces and In the demeanor OF the
malefactor. They are not.
There Is girl upstairs now whose IA
Their has been trying TO find her for a month.
during which time she has been truant
from home. With the assistance OF the
officers she was found yesterday and
brought here. She will be placed I'm a res
cue home tomorrow To look at her inno-
cent face and hear her sweet voice IL would
be thought that she wss much out OF
her element in a police station as an angel
would be behind the bars OF cell But her
misconduct has been so great that even Der
father has become iron against her. IL
Is impossible 10 tell by the looks and pub
lie conduct OF a woman the depth OF her
nature or the extent Of her sinnings.''
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26

E. Z. Rexford. in Lippincott's Magazine
Every garden ought to include a bed of
tea roses. Say what they may about the
beauty OF other flowers, there Is not one OF
them that rivals the rose, and no other
plant that We can grow will AFFORD US the
satisfaction that this will. Small plants OF
the ever-blooming varieties-this includes
the teas. the Bengal and the Noisette sec
tions-will come into bloom by midsummer
and continue TO give us flowers until cold
weather IL given proper treatment. This
consists In planting them In q very rich soil
for the rose Is fond or hearty food and a
good deal OF it-and q system OF cutting
branches may be sent out. on which flowers
will be borne. This Ii important. because
the flowers only produced on the new
growth, and any method OF culture which
falls 70 provide such growth wiz proyc un-
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26

only one that has been allowed these boats
i'm which Uncle Sans own middies learn the
things of the sea.
Two of them were given last year, with a
promise of more il things went well, and
not long ago Uncle Sam gave the little
Indiana naval school pat on the head and
very well done, sonny" and told the
commanding officer at Portsmouth TO send
a couple more cutters out TO the little lake
with the Indian name and the ambition for
a naval career l. r G.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26
The Flngler Case.


The statement that Mrs. Ida Flagier. the
divorced wife OF Mr.. Henry NJ Flagler, the
Standard OIL millionaire. Is recovering her
reason comes. curiously enough. simuita-
neously with the news that the Florida
Legislature has now pending before &c
eighteen bills 10 annul the act which made
possible Mr. Flaglers second marriage.
The whole situation Is strangely sad-a
sort or Enoch Arden affair only IL Is the
wife who comes back 10 md her place sup
planted. Mr.. Flagler. IL Is remembered.
until his wife's ---~ WAS pronounced hope
less.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26
VOILES The Seasons Pop
ular Dress Fabrics ~ ~ y ,

Atwood Voiles. in the royal blue shade,
3S inches wide, seven pieces bought
under market price and offered IO-
to you Monday at, a yard.
French all-wool Voiles, A inches wide,
in fifteen different colorings. Ct 00
Nub .Voiles, the most desirable fabric
of the season. a late importation just
received, in twelve colors, at Ct OS
q yard
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26

have taken fifty deep breaths you'll be
asleep. The logic of this simple treat
Seeplessness is due to an undue guam
tity of blood in the brain. The breathing
exercise takes the blood from the brain
to the lungs. and sleep almost immedi-
atey ensues."
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26

satisfactory. BY making and keeping III,
soil rich We encourage the plants TO con-
slant effort In the way OF growth, and our
reward comes I'm the shape OF large. richly
coiored and delightfully."- fragrant flowers
any one OF which Is worth a score Of ordi-
nary blossoms. Young plants cost but lit
tie BY all means invest In a dozen or two
Of these roses
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26

ercise. The mild form of insomnia that
is merely restlessness may, however, be
cess of breathing. If, when you go to
bed. you are unable to sleep. lie on your
back and breathe very deep and very
slow. This will cause you to drop off in
no time. It's probable that before you'll
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26
AMERICA THEIR HAVEN
ExILED MONKS AND SISTERS SEEK
ING HOMES IN THIS COUNTRY.
Many Expected to Leave France and
BRING Their Wealth with Them
sunday-SchOol Workers.
Special to the indianapolis Journal

FRtC~Al
NEW YORK, April 2.-Roman Catholic
prelates in America look for tremendous
influx OF members OF the French orders,
now being compelled by the government
OF France TO quit that country. This in
flux will. they think. not reach It's maxi
mum for year at least. since there remain
many financial matters TO be adjusted
abroad The tide OF regulars has. how
ever. already set in to some extent, espe-
cially among Dominicans. Marists and
some of the women's organizations. These
early corners are going TO mother houses
and monasteries already established A few
have arrived at the houses OF study affil-
lated with the Catholic University. With
them Is coming, or VIII come, considerable
property. for the French government esti-
mated their holdings in France 90, amount
20 the enormous sum OF $1l2.O00.O00 Since
IL H. impossible TO find purchasers for this
property, most OF IL must remain In
France. Nevertheless. IL Is estimated that
AT least $4,000. 600 will be brought over
here. greatly 10 the advantage OK American
branches OF the several orders. For the
most part these mother houses and monas-
tesies are within the section bounded by
the Atlantic and the Mississippi. the Ohio
river and the great lakes. with strong
tendencies TO congregate around Baltimore.
Cincinnati and Washington.
One % The questions which the arch
bishops OF the United States discussed al
their annual meeting. Just held In WASH
fngton was the incoming OF these religions
bishops in sparsely settled parts OF the
country are said 90 favor the coming Of
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-26
Cure for Insomnia.
Philadelphia Record.

insomnia. said physician. rs a dis
ease for which there are many reputed
cures, but l fancy that the only real one
lies In return on the patients part to
healthy, natural existence-all day spent
cut OF doors. with An abundance OF ex-