The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08


how does that suit your"
Fine" exclaimed wally wanderoon.
That's the way to begin a story. Now
go ahead"
The story-teller began and told this
tale of
JOHN THE STMPLETON.
once upon time there was a great
city built upon a plain. 1t had a very
large population, but the great ma Jor-
ity Of its inhabitants were prosperous
because they were Industrious or
course some of the people were poor,
Tor this is the way of the world; but
II frequently happens that poverty Is
a greater blessing than riches. The in
haoitants of this city were very lightly
governed. They paid few tithes, and
the bulk of those were expended In
laying out pleasure grounds and making
other desirable improvements that ali
the people could enjoy. There were no
crimes committed, and, as a result.
eooweos were growing on the door of
the temple of justice. Such lawyers as
Ldu begun TO practice in this city were
compelled TO move away or go into the
grocery business.
There was but one idle fellow in the
city. This was John the Simpletou.
VINO mad been permitted to grow up In
laleness because it was thought he was
nat-wit, He was indeed
queer Character, and was al
ways engaged in some strange adyen-
lure. On one occasion he volunteered
10 gild the spire of the Cathedral. which
was the pride of the town. He did a
pretty job of work. but when he came
ooWn ne left his hat hanging on the
topmost pinnacle. His excuse was that
ne left Il there to keep the rain off the
race OF saint, whose portrait was ex-
posed TO the weather. He made no
charge for what he had done, and for
long time went about bare-headed. his
long yellow hair blowing about in the
breezes.
On one occasion. when a man had
been cruel to his wife, John the Sim
pieton passed by the mans house lead
ing dog. Finding that this attracted
no attention he turned about and led
the dog up and down in front of the
house. Finally the good woman came
to the door and asked him the mean
ing of the performance.
I'm a schoolmaster,' he replied,
and L would teach you a lesson
What is the lesson? she inquired
1t is better to lead a dog than to
De led by one. When is your husband
about?"
:" In tha early morning. replied the
woman. Very WE'LL said John the
Slmpleton. Tomorrow morning when
you hear fuss at your door send him
out to see what the trouble is
SO the next morning, when the
good woman heard a tremendous
squalling at the door, she ran and told
her husband, saying she was afraid to
so much as put her head out at the
window. The man went to the door
and there saw John the Simpleton
thwacking stuffed figure made in the
semblance of woman. What are you
doing there, rascal?' he cried.
Beating my wife, said the young
fellow. 1 caught the disease at your
door The man, angry and ashamed,
made an effort to drive the young fell
low away. whereupon John the Sim
pleton fell upon him and gave him a
severe trouncing, which the neighbor-
hood declared he we'll deserved.
"On another occasion he went to
the shop of a man who was known to
give short weight, especially to wom-
en- and children, raped on the counter,
and said he wanted a shilling's worth
of butter. Then he changed his mind
and said he would prefer bread in
stead. He received the bread and was
going out. when the man called after
him. Pay me for my bread he said.
4 gave you the butter for it, replied
John the Simpleton. Then pay me. for
the butter said the man. But have
bought no butter protested the Sim
pleton. DO you take me for a child or
woman that you try to swindle me
in this manners?
THE young fellow spoke in so loud
voice, and his bearing was so bold
that the shopkeeper could only shake
his head and warn John the Simple
ton never to come into his place again.
But one day the inhabitants of this
favored city-the birthplace and home
of John the Simpleton-were awaken
ed early one morning by the woeful
cries of the Mayor, who was going
about the streets wringing his hands
and declaring that he had been robbed
the night before of a large quantity
of gold and silver. The people were
Mortified. Within the recollection of
the oldest inhabitant such a high
handed crime had never before been
committed within the boundaries Of
the town. There had been petty thiev-
ing, but the articles stolen were hard
ly valuable enough to cause a COM
plant from those who lost them.
Among those attracted by the cries
of the Mayor was John the Smpleton.
He followed the worthy man about,
ana watched MIN with so much inter-
est and curiosity that his example was
followed by other people, and pretty
soon the Mayor had half the city at his
heels. He was a very dignfied off,
cial, and had never before been known
to give way to his feelings. There
would have been a great sympathy for
him but for the antics of John the
Simpleton, who followed close behind
him, but this queer fellow, who had
discovered that the Mayors woe was
no deeper than his eyelid, managed to
turn the whole affair into ridicule; and
before the procession had gone a great
way the mob was shouting and laugh
ing as a crowd does on a holiday occa-
sion. The Mayor tried hard to escape
but wherever he went the people led
by John the Simpleton, followed close
at his heels.
AT last the worthy official took
refuge in the church, but as the church
was open 10 all, the crowd followed.
The Mayor endeavored to escape by
a side door, but John the Simpleton
had anticipated this movement and as
the Mayor disappeared behind the
side door John beckoned to. the crowd,
and they poured out into the street
and the Mayor found himself in the
same case as before. Seeing that es-
cape was impossible the Mayor turned
on his heel and faced the crowd.
q" Good people, he said, what would
you have?'
"'Your honor, we would hold con-
vention,' replied John the Simpleton.
Your loss is our loss You are full of
grief and we are full of anger. We de-