Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-09-12
GOOD SHORT STORIES.
Interesting Anecdotes of Various Men
and Places.

| a little lady and the recipient of sc
much attention that at times she has 9
tendency to put on airs. to the great
disgust of Mrs Cleveland. Recently al
Marion she did something which 81
displeased her mother that she was
corrected on the spot.
| Just because papa was President
said Mrs. Cleveland, you must not
think you are any better than anybody
else for you're not. None of US are"
Ruth pouted moment and then
came back with: "Well. mamma. then
vo,,.re no better than old Black Joe"
| Ola Black Joe is the man. of-all work
cmployed by the Clevelands.
Northern sportsman went
alligator hunting in Florida, and, as
often happens with the uninitlated, ne
got lost. 1t was near night and he
was at a loss what to do. Presently
| he met a man riding COW.
Can you tell me how far it is TO
Miami?"
WAL I reckon it's about two
whoops," the man answered.
| ''TWo-What?"
| The man seemed to take this as
challenging his veracity, for he looked
questioningly ut the palmettoes and
prickly pears beside the path, then be-
gan to scratch his head.
| "Pr'haps hit may be smitch
furder" he admitted, but l low hit
amt moren't two whoops an a holler."
| 1t is said that DIR. Weir Mitchell, re-
turning late from a party in neigh
lboring city once, awakened his sister
to tell her what he thought was too
good to keep till morning. lady had
been introduced to him, and, considers
| ing him Il scientific man, wished to
direct her conversation accordingly.
| Doctor" said she, cont You think
the>cause of so much sickness is the
want of sozodOnt in the air prs
| The Newport inseparables. Misses
| Cynthia Roche and Natalie Schenck,
We're hemmed in by automoblies and
other vehicles one day last week while
crossing the road.
| We're in a pickle now, laughed
Miss Roche.
| Yes, a regular JAM" returned her
companion.
| Heaven preserve US. Who'll take
/
nervous old lady behind them.
And then they We're rescued.
| Il see him still with menOry'S eye
his big. quaint. slow moving figure. his
loose and wrinkled garb timeworn By
trips of mercy over the New England
hills his dust stained gig. and Bilfil.
his mare. whose name. by local repute,
was perversion of blue pill says
Clarence Deming. in The outlook"
| active and interested in town mat
tiers, the doctor took scant part in
general politics until the anti-slavery
movement took shape, when he dashed
in with the ardor of a novitiate, pro-
claiming his abolition principles in
those early days. when to join the
hated party spelled moral nerve and
sinew and meant half-ostracism to men
personally less beloved. I don't care
much for Texas or the tariff he used
| to say. but when it comes to a flesh
and blood matter like slavery, politics
needs the Doctors Out of that period
of storm came one of his best loved
jokes The doctor had sent copy of
his Tribune to il rock ribbed Democrat
who. meeting him next day,l said:
Doctor. / got yer Tribune. l didn't
even open it. but TUX it in my tongs
| and held it over the fire. I'll teach yer
to throw yer pearls before swine!'
William Gillette is good Sherlock
Holmes, but he does not know every
thing, that is. where old Neptunes sons
are concerned.
While cruising in the bay in his
yacht Aunt Polly, he met an old salt
whom he hadn't seen since his last trip
there.
How are you?" said Gillette.
Pretty fair; but Il little deaf in my
left ear
We'll, you're no longer young, you
know. and
"Divil a bit it's the age" interrupted
the old sailor; sure me right ears as
old as the left one, and l can hear foine
in that
Maude Adams says that while at
tending Il performance in the Palace
Theater London, a young dude insisted
on standing up in the pit, to the great
annoyance of those behind him.
Angry shouts of "Sit down. "Turn
him out!'' &C, We're raised, but he still
persisted in Keeping his position. At
last a cockney in the gallery cried out
in a voice of sympathy:
Let i'm alone; he's only poor tailor
resting 'imself.'
The dude sat down instantly.
A recruit from Pudsey having Joined
the British yeomanry during the late
war. was dispatched with the regiment
to South Africa.
Upon his arrival at Cape Town he
was much impressed with the way the
troops were rushed up to the front, and
in his first engagement was seen to be
making off toward the railway as fast
as his legs would carry him. On being
questioned as to his destination, he
said:
Il am going hoam. Theirs barn to be
somebody awther famed or killed here"
But" replied the officer, eff you are
killed on the battlefield you will live in
history"
'I-but AID SOONER live L Pudsa!"
replied the recruit.
Here is q story concerning Elliott