Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-12-17

cHe- Hey say sue is lalrIy throwing
herself at his head. He-I suppose
she's heard he's good catch -Smart
Set
Mike-They say Tim Cassidy died
without tn aid av docthor. Pat
Well, Tim was always a handy lad at
nything.-Judge.
Not Her Weapon: as your wife a
club woman, Mike?" Marry the likes
O. that, sor; she uses fiatlron, sor."
Detroit Free Press.
What possessed her to marry him.
wonder?' well, you know how
hard it is to get good caddies nova.
days."-Brooklyn Life.
I'm afraid she isn't cut out for a
society woman" "Why not?" "Well.
she seems to have no idea of the pleas
ures of extravaganza. detroit Free
Press.
Just as Good: Sporting Editor-Our
best football reporter is sick and cant
go to the game. Managing Editor
Never mind; We'll send the war CORE.
spondent.-Judge.
But" protested the man, 81 havs
admitted that l was wrong. Isn't that
enough?" NO" replied the woman;
you must also admit that was
right. Daily News.
A Slight Difference: Nora-Oi towld
thot installment mon thot he naden't
call so often. Mistress-Did he take
tho hipf I, ~
ponny.-Philadelphia Record.
Departing Traveler-How much for
lunch? Landlady-Well, l am in the
habit Of charging eighteen pence. TRAY.
eller-Well, it's bad habit; here's a
shilling. Good-day.-TitB Bits.
DR.. Jinks-I suppose you must have
lost some Of your patients by being in
Europe for so many months. DIR. Kent
Yes, confound it, Ten or a dozen Of
them got well.-Boston Transcript.
Miss Rose-It is wonder you don't
take wife, Mr.. Sapp. Mr.. Sapp-
Well, you see, l only make enough to
support one. Miss Roosevelt it isn't
necessary for you to take two wives.
She-They haven't found name for
that baby in the fiat upstairs yet. He
The one that cries so? "Yes." "Well,
don't know why. The ncighbors have
called it everything they could think
off,
did you tell Clarence you would
cut him off without a cent if he mar
ried that girl?" NO" answered the
wise father, 1.-The idiot would marry
her in spite of that. l told the girl"
indianapolis Sun.
In Society: They say Miss R is
a brilliant cOnversatiOnalist." Indeed
she Is. She told me the whole story of
her life in five seconds" Talk in
shorthand?" mo. Showed me her
bank book. "-Baltimore World.
'"They tell me 81 Medder's son Bill
hez bin sent ter tn Legislature"
Nope; Bills in the penitentiary for
boss stealin'." Great snakes! Why
is it folks alters want ter make things
out wuss than they really is?'-Judge.
Mrs. ewliwed-Brdget, well have
fried eggs for breakfast, and
Bridget-We cant, mum, there's not
an egg in the house. Mrs. Newliwed-
Well, then. just make an Omelet. I
like that better anywav.-Philadelp
Press.
Smith-How old is your son, Jones?
Jones-He'll be 81 tomorrow. Smith
He's certainly a credit to you. Jones
We'll, he ought to be. spent fif.
teen years in bringing him up and six
more in calling him down.-Chicago
News.
Mamma-Oh, see. Willie, your little
brother can stand all alone. Aren't you
glad? Willie Jagged 6)-Sure! Now I
can get him to hold an apple on his
head while l shoot it off with my bow
md arrow, cant I?-Philadelphia
Ledger.
Lemon Pie.
Two lemons; bake them short time.
then squeeze and strain the juice; boil
the rind In half pint Of water, then
pour the water in the following mix
ture: Two cups Of sugar, half cupful
sweet milk, one tablespoonful corn
starch, one Of butter, yOlks Of six
eggs. Bake it in paste; then beat the
whites with eight tablespoonfuls Of
sugar and pour over the pie; brown
This quantity makes two
pies.