davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-02-04
A scrintnrnl wenpon.

Children tumble into strange morass-
es when they grapplc with theology.
They trip over words. For example,
the other day teacher Mt Stepney took
for the Bible lesson the story Of Sam
son. AT the end Of the lesson questions
We're put to test the understanding Of
the scholars. with what weapon did
Samson STAY thousand PhilistinesT'
was the question. For II space there
was silence. Then little girl spoke
up. with the AK of the apostles" she
said-London Chronicle.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-02-04
ests of the National Importing COM

o"s0 VI s''9
pany.
F. X. Gerken of New Vienna, was q
passenger to Dubuque from this point
Monday afternoon.
Matt and Joseph Jaeger, of North
Fork, were passengers to Manchester
from this point Tuesday morning,
where they spent the day on business.
Joe Gloden of Ryan was here Sunday
visiting with his wife's parents, Mr.,
and Mrs. Henry Evers, and other rela-
tives and friends, returning home Mon.
day morning, He stopped off here
while en- route home from Chicago
News Letter.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-02-04
hut They Use Them

The danger of carrying an argument
to its logical conclusion is thus set
forth by the Chicago Post: They were
at a picnic. "Fingers were made be-
fore forks" she laughed us she helped
herself in democratic fashion. eyes"
he admitted, "and people were made
before Clothes" She hastily reached
for fork.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-02-04

Learn to laugh. A good laugh is bet
ter than medicine. Learn how to tell
story. A well told story is as welcome
as sunbeam in sickroom. Learn to
The world is too busy to care for your
ills and sorrows.
Learn to stop croalsing. If you can
not see any good in the world, keep the
bad to yourself. Learn to hide your
pains and aches under pleasant smiles.
No one cares to hear whether you have
the earacle. headache or rheumatism.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-02-04
Helpful Husband.

Cicero Moke-I came to tole yo,'
ma'am, dat Lucy Brown, who done
leabe yo' yistiddy, ain gwine lib out no
mo-, 'kase she married me today.
Mrs Hauskeep-Indeed! Well?
Cicero Moke-Well, 1 fought mebbe
yo' might let her do yo' washin'. I'm
9 drummin' up trade for her dis morn
in'.-Philadelphia Press.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-02-04
Exchange of courteu,e..

One of the keenest of journalists and
wits, Moritz Gottlieb Saphir, had the
better of the irate stranger against
whom he ran by accident at the corner
Of street in Munich. Beast" cried
the offended person without waiting for
an apology. THANK you," said the
journalist. land mine is Saphir."
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-02-04
Hoped He Might Improve.

Husband (vituperatively)-I was an
idiot when married you, Mary.
Wife (quietly)-Yes, Tom, l knew you
were. But what could l do? You
seemed my only chance, and l thought
then that you might improve little
with time.-Washington Times.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-02-04

Judge-Are you aware of any miti-
eating circumstances In your case?
Criminal-Yes, your honor; this is
the fiftieth time have been arrested
for yagrancy, and thought that per-
haps we might get up little jubilee.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-02-04

plete?" so'A'
YES" answered Mr.. stormington
Barnes. "An want is good. live
ton Star. "s
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-02-04
sick and one was quaraptined in Indi.

SICK anu 0ne was quHfHDtIneu III 1nul'
ana.
We are over our diphtheria scare.
There we're only two cases, both out of
town. They proved fatal, but the quar-
antine was so effective that no other
cases have been reported.
ARDIE BEE.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
The Foot A.tr.x.

William F. Cody was once relating a
story which concerned an indian who
had met with an accident In a Buffalo
Bill show. 1t was necessary to ampu-
tate the Indians leg. and in the de.
scription of this operation Cody was
interrupted frequently by a young doc
tor who injected technical ind medical
terms into the straight vernacular of
the scout. He was irritated. but ig-
nored the doctor. "a few days after
the operation" continued the narrator.
1.-THE Indian learned that his leg had
been buried. With a whoop he leaped
from his bed and jumped upon the doc
tor with both feet"
Jumped with both feet after an op.
eration?" shouted the doctor. exulting
in his exposure of the great scouts alb
surd story.
Il said upon the doctor with both
feet" explained Cody, "in order to
distinguish him from the other hospital
physician, who had only one foot. hav-
ing put the other into peoples affairs
SO often that he lost it,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
The Way Home.

When the bishop of Truro, DR.. Colt,
was dean Of Worcester his absent
mindedness was so notorious that he
earned for himself the sobriquet of
Dean For-Gott."
On one occasion he had invited some
friends to dine with him. On their ar
rival, short time before the dinner
hour, he suggested that in the interval
of waiting his friends would perhaps
like to walk through the grounds.
After spending about quarter Of an
hour in admiring the flowers, shrubs
and greenhouses they suddenly came
upon door in the garden wall.
"Ah" said the dean to his astonished
guests. This will be a much nearer
way for you to go home than by going
back to the front" And, forgetting
his invitation, he opened the door and
bowed them oct
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
He Had q DAUGHTER,

You have a daughter, have you not,
STRIP said minister to an old gentle
man with whom he had formed casu-
al acquaintance as a fellow passenger.
The old gentleman essayed to answer,
but the question had strangely affected
him.
Il beg your pardon" said the minis
ter. IF have thoughtlessly awakened
In your mind recollections of painful
nature. The world is full of sorrow,
sir. and perhaps my question recalls to
your memory a fair. beautiful girl
whose poisoning young life had with
cred in its bloom. Am l right, sir?''
mo. not exactly" replied the old gen.
tleman sadly. II have five unmarried
darters, mister. an the youngest of the
lot is twenty-eight years old"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
south America In 1000 b. G.

The greater the number of the sue
seeding phases Of civilization the more
sven must be the average length of
zach and thus resemble the general
length. Of human periods. 1t is to be
seen that the two central European
periods. those of Hallstadt and Of La
Tene, together embrace about thou
sand years. an average of 500 for each.
The cultured periods of Egypt may I've
even longer.
The development of Peruvian civili-
cation. accepting on the average five
successive periods, would result in a
qualification of cultures representing
between 1000 and 5000 years. About
the year 1000 B. c., at the time when
Solomon built his temple, the early
Americans in Peru reared their mighty
structures to the glory Of creator god.
Civilization in America would beyond
all doubt have worked itself up to q
high plane at some time and might
have accomplished alone peculiar
but certainly brilliant development
without the Intervention of European
Observation-Disclosures Max Uhle in
Harper's Magazine.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
Z. Offensive cravat.

A good story of Whistler and his pc.
culiarities is told in the Free Lance.
A gentleman went to Whistler with q
letter Of introduction and sent up his
card with the letter. The servant pres.
emily brought down the card with a
note in pencil on it-"Who is the great
est painter?" The visitor promptly
wrote whistler" and was Immediate
~ shown upstairs. An amusing scene
followed. arising out of the fact that
the visitor was wearing a red necktie.
Whistler declared it interfered with the
color scheme of his room and put him
off" picture he was painting in quite
different key" Finally he obliged
him to take off the offending cravat be-
fore he would condescend to exchange
another word with him.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
Eject Of Rain Upon Animals.


'The effects of rainy day upon ami
mails Of Zoo" said a, keeper the other
day, ''are as Interesting to watch as
anything l know in connection with a
collection of beasts. Now. that big
wolf over there just revels in rainy
day and skips about as gay as you
please. All the wolves are the same.
Rain cheers them up. But the lions
are different. They fret and fume and
.growl and snarl unless you give them
an extra allowance Of meat or q big
pan Of warm milk. Then they will
sleep. but rainy day seems to get on
the nerves of lion or any of the cat
family. Snakes are kept in just q Ger.
tain temperature all the time. and you
would think that the damp air would
never reach them. Perhaps it doesn't,
but l have always noticed that all the
reptiles are active and cheerful, If a
reptile can be said to be cheerful. when
1t rains. "-Tit-Bits
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13

Il s&4ionsS Tepulavly AttfabetsA g
X n i the 30aaa HO0h

ND~Oo0kAVAoG1 BkAvwBa 0yOO -
\ IL the Good Book. 3
There are a number Of sentences
not IN the Bible which everybody
thinks are there, . said a clergyman.
"The chief Of these sentences is, He
tempers the wind to the shorn lamb
You would search the Bible pretty
thoroughly before you would find that
sentence in 1t. Where you would find
It would be in Sterne's Sentimental
4 LOT II
S..Sterne gets j, good laal of praise for
the origination Of this sentence, but it
was originated, as matter Of fact,
before he was born. In a collection Of
French proverbs published in 1904 we
6nd. .Dieu mesure lie vent q la brebis
tondue.' That convicts Sterne Of pla-
giarisln. s
I'm the midst of life we are In
DEATH Everybody thinks that is in the
Bible. 1t isn't, though. 1t is in the
burial service.
""That he who runs may read This
Is another sentence supposed, wrongly.
to be Biblical. :. is not Bib,iai.
though the Bible has something u -
like it-namely, That he may run ,.l;lt
readeth.'
. Prone, to sin as the sparks 1y up
ward The Bible nowhere contains
those words
"A nation shall be born in day
The nearest thing to that in the Good
Book is, Shall a nation be born at
Oncer"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
VETY LENG Tl4Y sHAvEs.
Razor travels Many Miles over ere
isSS Average Mans Fave. 58 gs$

The Eis:;;lit.e a man gshaves in an av.
srage lifetime. or the distance Ills IA.
zor travr1 / over his face, will be Il sur
prise to most people. FROM a multi.
3 tude OF examples :..iShverag.. measure.
ment around the cnin froi! ear 10 e,.r
is found to be twelve and Qa..,!.;.f
inches. From where the be;t..d s,Arts
Oh the throat to the chin and thence to
the edge Of the upper lip la four and
ole-half inches. You must reckon that
it is necessary to give two strokes Of
the razor to each inch or fraction Of
all inch in order to cover all the sur
face and 60 over each section of the
face twice in order to secure clean
surface.
So. multiplying the number Of
strokes by the number of times the RAJ
get the figure 4, and four times the
two above mentioned measurements
gives you the figures 80 and Is respec-
lively. which. added together. produce
Us. T."':Sforr the average man. wheth-
er dark or fair. SLAVES "a inches every
twenty-four hours. With these figures
we arrive at the result that every man
wearing only u mustache shaves 2,O6S
feet 4 inches per year. Taking. then,
the average life at seventy years and
that the fair man starts shaving at
eighteen and the dark man a year ear
lier, or at seventeen, we have the fol-
lowing result: That fair man. If he
lives till he is seventy, will shave in
the course Of his life 20 miles $50
yards 4 inches. The dark man. If he
lives till he is seventy. will shave in
the course Of his life 20 miles 1910
yards foot 8 irches.-Kansas City
Independent
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
Notice Of Sale Of School Lands.

The following described school lands, .ituat-
ia, will be offered Tor sale at pubic auction to
the highest bidder at the court house in the city
Of PemSina, county Of Pemblna and state Of
q. m. and O'Clock p. m. on Tuesday, the 9Th
day Of January, A. D. 1904. said sale to COM
mence at 10 o'clock a.. m. and CONTINUE from day
to day until all lands herein described have been
sold or offered tor sale.
All lands will be offered in tracts as hereinaf-
ter designated und upon the following condit-
ions:
No tract will be sold for less than it's apprals.
ed value, and in no case tor less sum that ten
dollars per acre. The terms of the sale are: One
fifth OF the purchase price TO be paid at the Time
Ut sale; one.hfth IN five years; one-fifth in ten
years; one fifth in fifteen years: and one-ffth in
twenty years; with interest at the rate Of six per
cent per annum, payable annually in advance
Il Upon app; oval OF sale by Board Of University
and School Lands, the purchaser shall pay in
,etest from the date Of sale to January lst 1905,
on he deferred payments y abe rate OF sig Per
| The Board Of University and School Lands re-
serves the right to reject airy or all bids.
| "a
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
Description Sec Twp Rye Acres Valuatie
Notice of chattel Mortgage Sale.

Whereas one John Kobler did on the Ind day
February. A. D. 1903. make his certain chat!el
mortgage of the following described chattee,
to-wit: One two.horse-power Oln Gasoline En-.
CINE, completewith tank and pipe connections.
One mo. Fl" Buffalo silent Meat Chopper, CON-
plcte; one mounted q indstone. complete; ''all
the above Pnrchased This day from MORTGAGE"
sum OF Two Hundred and Fourteen and 25-lOO
Dollars;
And Whereas, Default has been made in the
terms Of eaid mortgage In this. to wit: the non.
payment Of notes when due.
Now Therefore, Notice is hereby given that
by virtue Of said mortgage, and by order OF said
King & Booker. the present owner thereof,1 will
sell the above described chattels ct the front
County Of Pembina and STATE OF North DAKOTA. IT
the hour Of 2 o'clock p. m. of the 14th day of No.
vember, 1893. There will be due on such mort
gage at the date of sale the cum of 3188.60, to.
gelher with the costs accruing from this fore.
closure.
Dated at Pem5ina, Nov. 9th. 1908.
King & BOOKER, Mortgages
lCHAs. ATKINSON, Agent, rembina, N. D.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
The Tcacher,. Fault.

Teacher-Why. Freddy. how did you
get those black and blue welts on your
arm?
Scholar-Them's your fault. teacher.
Teacher-My fault? What do you
mean?
Scholar (sobbing reminiscently) =
Why, you told me it was poor rule
that didn't work both ways. So when
I went home took pas new two foot
rule that doubles up on a hinge and
bent 1t back till 1t worked both ways.
and then pa said I'd broken the joints.
and he went and got his razor strop.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
Lucky Man.

In crossing the ocean father and
son both became very seasick. The Ia
ther recovered quickly. but the son was
80 exhausted with the attack that he
sank into a state Of apathy, from
which it seemed impossible to arouse
him.
The steamer physician, thinking he
would try sudden shock, said: II
have bad news for you. Your father is
dead!'
The son, raising his expressionless
eyes to the doctor, replied. Lucky
man,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
Havsng . Hard Time,

Here I've been running for years."
said the hall clock, land haven't
moved an inch. wouldn't mind that
% much. but every evening about $50
the young lady Of the family turns me
back because she says I'm too fast,
and then in the morning the old man
comes along and grumbles because I'm
too SLOW
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
Fancy work.

Does your wife do much fancy.
work. Il u.
Fancy work. She won't even let q
porous plaster come into the house
without crocheting red border round
4 and running Z yellow ribbon through
the holes . (. Il
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
Getting Up Early,

II can't get up early" said wealthy
gentleman to his doctor.
"Oh, yes. you cam was the reply. III
you will only follow my advice. What
is your usual hour Of rising7''
mine o'clock"
We'll. get up half an hour later ev-
cry day. and In the course Of a month
you will find yourself up at 4 In the
morning.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
Misers.

did you ever notice that almost all
the misers mentioned in the papers are
single men?'' asked Mr.. Watts.
g. Yes. answered Mrs. Watts. Mar
ried misers are too common to be
worth mentioning
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13

II A YanDereA Ambitisn.. s
ss s That boy rays his only ambition II
III make living without working. Ii
What are his parents going Do DO
for him 5.s s:5s
1 Make 4 politician ont u him. IDS
trott sFrse Press .ss5 ,l
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
liz COUNTY COURT.

IN COUNTY COURT.
STATE or, NORTH !pAKDrA.,
County Of sPembina.
In County Court. before Hon. J. ID. Wallace,
County Judge.
In the matter of the estate of Major !. Foster,
Charles J. Murphy, Petitioner.
Catherine Meighen, Mary Flynn
James w. Foster, SAr~h l.. Will
bright, John Foster, Josephine
Chandler and Robert NJ. Foster,
az administrator Of deceased.
appointed by rebate Court,
Fillmore C0nm.y. Minnesota.
Respond ents.
The STATE VI North dakota and the said Coun-
~ Court ~ the above named Respondents
Greeting:
e ..d
ut tl. Office Of the County Judge of said county,
Mt tie Couri House in the City of Pembiba. In
said county. on the 9TH day Of December. A. D
1903, Ut 10 o'clock am. ol that day. then aud
there to show cause, II any there be, why let:
.ers Of administration upon the estate Of said
k,urnron in accordance with the prayer OF petit.
iol. therefor this day filed In this Court.
1t appearing that all the respondents are non
resid, mis- of North DAKOTA, 1t Is ordered that
service Of the above Citation be made BY pub
lishlng the same three times, once each week
for three successive weeks, in the Pioneer Ex-
press, 2 weekly newspaper Of general circulation
Dated October 23rd. A. ID. 1902.
b. WALLACE.
Sea-. Judge OF the County Cour
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-13
Y I;

~ = q = Nj
tories % HkaA1 IS 0lyKIM. ~. tSst -.
wight and Mary fright, MI NJ 8. mprtsAx.
ss " e Y dat go
iyecrd ia III oilcs 81 tie Register 81 Dssds 81
{hs County 81 Psmbi1a and State 3of North DA.
kota. On the eotA day November. a. p:
,ssorded In BOOK 81 &os.ssess Il + psss IA
will be fOreclosed BY = sale AZ the prom ses I'M
such Mortgage and LsreInafte u sCriLed q the
from: door 81 tho Cont House 10 the City Of
North Dakota, attbs hour Of ! O'Clock p: "a. on
12.h day Of December, 1908. to satisfy the
amount due upon said mortgage on The dayso
sale. Il III IA ,iS TN AZ b 80 ..5t,
The premises described In said Mortgage and
which win 30 aoId 70 satisfy the lame. subject to
two prior mortgage liens now on record. agRrs.
eating In amOunt q about $3.50, are thOse
bina and State Of North Dakota and described
us tOiltiws, tO-wit: N s}ls M Az Y
The Vest Hail Of the North East Quarter lWH
NE and the North HALF Of the North invest
una the West Half 81 the Soulh.Wes Quarter
Nv 1-s sW lland The south Halt 81 the North
West Charter Is - NV ~ Of Section Twelve
all In Township One Hundred aud Sixty Three
(i6i) north Of Range Fifty. Two (5a) west OF the
Fifth Principal Meridian. 5,5s,tf
Defauii hav; ny occurred in the conditions Of
such mortgage, the mortgage, as authorized by
said mortgage, declares the whole principal sum
due and pa aDle.
There Viii be- due on snch Mortgage at the
dM,e of sale tine sum 81 -Four Thousand Two
Hundred Fifty zone aud 65-l> Dollars ($4,25l So
with the costs OF these proceedings ana sln,ut-
DRY ATTORNEYS fees.
'~. N>o'' 80 49, W. B. HANCOCK,
S Mortgages.
6. F. wYvELL,
Attorney for Mortgage,
Grand Forks. N. d.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-01-20

give it virtually everything that the
regular army has. making 1t part IF
a homogeneous force back of the rag
ulars. 1t is felt by the officers in this
state that it is the greatest step even
taken for the improvement of the force
as under its provisions II very large
sum will be available and everything
will be done to make it thorough an1
effective.
Next Wednesday and Thursday there
will be special hearings before the
committee of the lower house of the
Watts bill, regulating the sale ano
manufacture of liquor. This is by far
the most important liquor bill ever in
PRODUCED in the legislature in this state
and ii is no secret that it was drafteI
by enatO Simmons and Governor
Aycock, after the most careful consid-
GRAFTON and coll beration. 1t is a COM
plete. effective and yet conservative
measure. Such is the Judgment of h
best and most conservative people in
the state.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-01-20
APPOINTMENT FOR H0BS0h
Ordered TO Puget Sound Naval Sta
ton at Bremert0n.

recommendation of Admiral Bowles-
thief constructor of the navy, Acting
Secretary Darling today signed an or
der assigning Constructor Hobson to
duty in charge of the construction de-
partment at the Puget sound naval
station at Bremerton.
Mr.. Fobson has been for some
months past on waiting orders, hav-
ing declined an assignment to Pensa
cola. pending action by congress upon
n bill authorizing his retirement. Spe-
ciaf action of this nature was regarded
as necessary in view Of the failure OF
two examining boards to find him
physically disqualified for active SER
vice. The navy department concluded
that the straits it is In through the
resignation OF Constructor Hibbs, leav-
ing vacant the important post at Bre-
merton. justified the action taken to
day.. MI. Hobson is now in a position
where he must resign from the naval
service altogether or. undertake active
duty for which he feels himself unfit
ted by eason OF an eye trouble.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-01-20
Letter to John ID. Bellamy of Will
minGtOn.

Dear Sir: Two and two make four
not always; depends upon what two
and two" are.
Two gallons of water and two gall
Ions of milk don't make four gallons
of milk.
Neither does fou gallons of paint
that's half lime, whiting, clay and ker-
osene oil, make four gallons of real
paint.
That's what we mean by saying
Fewer gallons; wear longer" 1t
takes fewer gallons of Devoe Lead and
Zinc than of mixed paints to paint a
house. and it wears twice or three times
as long as lead and oil. mixed by hand.
Prowse & Pelton, Herkimsr, N. Y,
write:
Mr.. Chas. Avery, of Herkimer.
bought 81 gallons of Devoe Lead and
Zinc to paint his five houses. his paint
er having figured that it would require
at least that amount; Sc gallons did the
work and he returned Is gallons.
Yours truly,
r. w. DEVOE & CO..
New York.
P. S.-M. w. Divine & Co.. sells or
paint.