davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
FATE OF A MoroR1sr.
When He Was Stranded All Kinds
of People Wanted to Know
Things.

| The automobile was large and 1t
was blue; the Chauffeur was small and
he was blue; the air was the usual
common garden variety, but it was
blue, too, and the motor was the
cause of it all.
| The small man was hot and dirty.
He was turning crank violently
with one hand, while adjusting a
lever with the other. The mere he
turned and the more he adjusted, the
less the machine seemed inclined to
move.
A small boy came along. "Youse
amt stuck, is yer, mister? he in
quired.
The Chauffeur turned around, gave
him whitening look, and resumed
mis- calisthenics.
A cab driver pulled up his vehicle
long enough to ask: won't she go,
mister?'
The Chauffeur made an inarticulate
sound and the cabman, noticing his
face, hastily gathered up the reins
and went on.
|
paused, watched the grinding for
awhile, and then inquired politely:
"Won't she run?"
The chauffeur paused, stood up and
replied: "Yes, I could at this mo-
ment be speeding at so miles an hour,
but prefer to stop here and turn
this crank because / enjoy answering
|
on, abashed.
A woman of his acquaintance
stopped, looked at the chauffeur and
exclaimed: "Why, it's Mr.. Pitcoe!
How-dy-do! Won't your machine
run?"
mo, madam" answered Pitcoe,
shortly, pulling his hat over his eyes
and resuming his turning.
eli, there came loud voice be-
hind him. whats youse blocking
the street up fer? Get move ON"
And a blue-coated policeman ap-
peared.
81 would if I could" replied the
chauffeur, "but this blanlked thing
won't co.
.'All right, I'll have to take you to
the station house." replied the minion
of the law. cts $40 fine for obstruct-
ing traffic. .,=....
The chauffeur threw his hat upon
the ground, says the Philadelphia
Bulletin, and leaped high in the air.
''Ha! Hal" he yelled; 'the carburet-
er's mixed with the differential gear!
The tires are crossed with the ex-
haust pipe and the friction clutch has
got the muffler by the back of the
neck and is beating it against the
inlet valves! A horse! A horse! My
kingdom for some horse sense!" and
he fell upon the pavement foaming
at the mouth. He was a raying ma
MAC!
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
A Farmers Coed story.

Velpen, Ind, April eth:-Wm. OBJ. Sui.
Ivan, highly respected farmer Of this
place, tells personal experience to show
that there is still some genuineness and hon
est worth to be met with in this agein which
90 many frauds are reported.
yes, have been humbugged," said Mr..
Sullivan, land when l was SO i'll with the
Rheumatism, Kidney and Heart Trouble, I
used good deal of stuff that claimed to be
remedies for these diseases only to find
them worthless. jill
but, as you know, 1 did find the g@nuine
remedy after all and had not been taking
Dodd' s Kidney Pills very long before knew
that they were an honest remedy that would
DO all and more than was claimed for them:
am now as sound as l ever was.
can testify that Dodd's kindly Pills
ere genuine remedy for Rheumatism and
Kidney Trouble"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Women Workers in France.

Official reports of the French gov
eminent on sociological matters are
always very late, but whether they
have any bearing on the question of
Frances dwindling population or not
these reports, as they relate to the
industrial work of women from 1866
to 1896, are still interesting. In 1866
there were 4,642,000 women workers
in the republic, and in 1896, $3.50, 900.
In commerce 100000 women We're en-
ployed in 1896, as against $4,000 in
1866. or one woman to two men. Tie
increasing number Of women. en-
ployed in the post, banking, carrier
trade and transport business is still
more striking, being from $4,000 in
1866 to $4,000 in 1896, whilst in sew
eral independent callings the NUM-
bers have increased nearly fourfold.
It appears, too, that the trades and
industries from which women are ex-
cluded are declining.-Detroit/ Free
Press. -yas. -.5.-
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
PTOMAIN-POISONING.
frequently Caused by Eating Foods
Containing the Germs-Symp-
toms and Rem edies.

This is a term used popularity to
designate the symptoms due to poi
soning by damaged food. Like many
other popular terms-and not few
scientific ones-it is not strictly cor
rect, for in the great majority of cases
of blood-poisoning the offending mat
ter is not ptomain at all, but poison
elaborated by certain bacteria present
in the food. This poison may already
exist in the food, or it may be produced
in the sufferers body after the bac-
terra have been admitted. In other
cases the food has not begun to putre-
fly, nor has it been contaminated with
poison-producing bacilli, but is initself
poisonous. This happens in mushroom
poisoning and in poisoning by certain
kinds of fish, says Youths Companion.
Preserved foods-canned, cold-stor-
age, pickled-are those most common
ly responsible for poisoning, since the
bacteria which make the poison or in
duce ptomain formation have then a
longer time in which to develop. The
bacteria of putrefaction in spoiled
fresh meat are often of comparative
ly harmless kind, so far as their effect
upon the living organism is concerned,
and by their rapid growth they choke
the other and more noxious kinds, and
prevent their development.
When the food contains ready
formed poisons the symptoms come on
soon after eating, and usually disap-
pear rapidly if fatal ending is avert
ed; but when the food contains noxious
bacteria which are, as it were, dormant,
and need the conditions found in the
living body in order to multiply, a GER
tain period elapses, from several hours
to day or more, before the danger
Gus symptoms declare themselves.
The symptoms of food-poisoning nat
urally vary in intensity according to
the nature of its amount, the suscep-
tibility of the individual, and so on.
There maybe only an acute indigo stion,
marked by nausea, vomiting, and per
haps diarrhea, or the poison may over
whelm the nervous system, causing
collapse, commissions, Inconsistencies,
paralysis, and then death.
The first thing in the way of treat
ment is to get rid of the offending ma
terial by e1netics and purgatiyes, al
though nature generally attends to
that with the first sign of poisoning.
After that a cleansing of the intestinal
tract from the disease germs may be
called for, and stimulants for the flag
ging heart and the oppressed nervous
system.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
|. G7k;5M Z !! !; II
Surprise All Around.

Funniman-Now, there's your hus-
band coming. Mrs. Candor. Let's make
little surprise for him. Mrs. Fupni-
man and will hide behind the curtains
here, and you tell him that your ex-
pected guests haven't come. Then
We'll step cut and surprise him.
(Enter Mr.. Candor.)
Mrs. Candor (obsying orders)-Well,
Henry, our expected guests have dis
appointed us-Mr. and Mrs. Funnfman
haven't come.
Mr.. Candor (heartily) Thank Heav-
en!-Tit-B Bits,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Spring.

Now the happy season cometh
When we do not care a pin
If the ice is in the ice-chest
Or the coal is in the bin.
-PucE
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Rice Par Excellence.

Wash cupful of rice through plenty
of cold water; then boil in three pints
of sailed water for 20 or 30 minutes.
Pour into the colander and drain; then
turn into ll-buttered hot saucepan;
spread large tablespoonful of butter
over the top and cover with hot lid
and place in the oven; let remain I'M
til rice is well dried and swollen; turn
into a heated dish and serve.-Wash-
ington Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Uueuual Division.

Socialist--Yes, the world is all
wrong. There is great need OF change.
I hope you agree with me?
Miss Beauty-Indeed, do. 1 think
it's perfectly abominahle the way
wealth is distributed-all the nice
young men poor, and nobody rich ex-
cept equity widowers and cranky old
bacnelOrS.--Tit-BitS
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Spanish Puts.

Beat the yolks of three eggs we'll,
add two ounces of flour and quarter
of pint of milk; then beat in two
ounces of caster sugar and two ounces
of butter. When these are well mixed,
gradually add another quarter of a
pint of milk till the whole is smooth
batter. Whip the whites of three eggs
till firm, lightly stir them in, pour into
buttered saucers and bake about 20
minutes. Turn them out, fold in two
and sprinkle with sugar. Serve hot
Washington Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
She ThouRht Of Him.

Coamley--I didn't know you were
acquainted with Miss Lovett. She
asked me last night if I knew you.
Hoamley-That was nice of her.
What led her to ask you that, won
Ger?
Coamley Why er ~ had just
asked her if she could imagine any one
uglier than Bill Thompson.-Philadel-
phia Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Her Own Idea.

"your daughter said Mrs. Oldcastle
after being conducted through the
newly finished wing CT the magnificent
palace occupied by the Bullingtons.
"has such splendid vocabulary"
''Do you think SOP" her hostess re-
piled. Josiah wanted to get her one
of them escritoires, but I made up
my mind right at the start that vo-
cabulary would look better. in room
furnished like hers is, even if it didn't
cost quite SO much -Chicago Record
Herald.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
u.,A m. ~ ,earlpet.

Arthur was one Of the little unfortunate
army Of 6ve-year-olds that lives on Flita
avenue, whore he has everything to nis
hearts content except mud pisf and things
ons 81 Arthur's uncies bought country
sat on Long Island-barns, horses, cows.
chickens, and other rural conveniencss m
cluded- Recently Arthur was allowed to
visit the 'farm" and to inspect TIE sans
at his leisure. One Of the first things ne
saw was strange creature on two legs VITA
wings and a mania for scratching gravel.
whats that thinsi he asked
ooh. no." he said incredulouay, "yos
can't fool me; that things got feathers Or
tn. Y. Times.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
An EXPLANATION.

ga satirist, my DEAR" said Miss Cay
meme to the girl WHO'S beginning to take
an interest in literature, sis writer
who applies himself to exposing
shams."
Gut why should he know SO much
more than other people about shams?'
because he is usually one himself"
Washington Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
SkeDtiCol.

"My wife," said Mr.. Younglove,
proudly, "can talk in four different
languages"
What replied the crusty old bach
elor; mot all at once!"- Chicago Rec
ord-Herald.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
An Etching.

'Twss in breach of promise suit the let
tiers all were read,
And here is what the opening words Of each
. epistle said:
Dear Mr.. Smith, Dear Friend" Dear
John" my darling four-leaf clover
my ownest Jack" "Dear John" Dear
Sir" then, Sir" and all was over.
Town Topics
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
A Modern Recluse.

Friend haven't seen you for some
time.
Poet-No; fact is I have become
q good deal of a recluse lately.
Friend-I feared as much. How
much do you OWEN. Y. Weekly.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Good Advice.

Johnson-He said was an addle-
pated jackass- What do you advise me
to do about it?
Jackson-see good veterinary
Judge.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Ever Thus.

"He doesn't call his wife pet names
any more, does hep
Zone. He says he can always call
her dear without compunction."-
PHILADELPHIA Bulletin.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
The Obvious Answer.

"And the mayor asked why they
don't put two conductors on a car"
''Whau silly question! Doesn't tho
mayor know that two conductors COST
more than one ?"-Brooklyn Life.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Uncle Allen.

"Never interrupt a woman when size
is telling you her troubles counseled
Uncle Allen Sparks. She is never so
happy as then."- Chicago Tribune.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Couldn,t Lose I'm.

Husband-The breeze fairly takes
my breath away.
Wife-You are mistaken, my dear.
can smell the cloves quite distinctly.
Chicago American.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
The PromptinEs Of Affection.

Charley, DEAR" said young Mrs.
Torkins, Il am going to learn to play
poker" ..
"What for?''
$50 that I can do as a wife ought
and intelligently sympathize with you
in all your troubles. "-Washington
Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
A Strong Hint.

Harduppe-Say, old man, believe I
owe you an apology.
Freeman-Well, I've heard it called
V, flyer, a fmuf plunks, and five
bones, but never an apology before!-
N. Y. Times.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
His Query.

"That man never said an unkind
word to his wife"
SWELL" rejoined Mr.. Meekton, what
was his reason, chivalry or prudence?"
Washington Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Parliament.

The butter had refused to come,
And, with an angry CLEAN
In both her eyes, the dairymaid
Got mad. and whipped the cream.
-Chicago Tribune
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Relieved.

Spartacus-Has Cumso that same
old itching after office?
Smartacus-No. He was a candidate
and everybody scratched him.-Balti-
more American,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Second Choice Best.

Mrs. TopperzIs first love best?
Topper-Not always, my dear; that
first love of a bonnet you showed me
at the mllliner's was far more expen-
siye than the second.-Town Topics.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
An 1ndependent Thinker.

Flossie-Mamma, didn't the preach
er say something last Sunday about
not caring what we eat or drink, OF
what kind of clothes we wear?
Mamma-Did he? Perhaps I wasn't
paying attention to him.
Flossie-Well, don't suppose any
body'd pay much attention to him
when he says things like that!-Puck.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Accounted For.

II thought Miss Millions might
marry into the nobility. She knows
several members Of it very well.''
perhaps that's why she didn't. -
DroLf
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
His One Yearndue.

Mrs. Jinks (playfully-My dear.
what would you do if you were rich? (
Mr.. Jinks twearily)-Hire some 9th
er man to walk my baby.-N. Y. Week
~.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
The Professor.

"Astigmatism," explained the doc
tor, ''is an abnormal condition of the
eyes, in which they appear to have
different planes of vision, and you can
see better with one than with the
other" al
81 see," observed the professor.
"One pupil is more apt than the 9TH
er."-Chicago Tribune.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
No Affair of Mine.

do not know why grief and pain
Go ramping DER this sphere mundane;
A thousand other things see,
I truly for the life OF me
Can't understand; but then, guess
It's none Of my foo! business.
San Francisco Bulletin.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09

George H. Daniels, General Passenger
Agent of the New York Central Road, talk
ing yesterday of the company's fast train
service, said that, in addition to the new
twenty-hpur train, there are now four TWEEN
ty-four-hour trains to Chicago, and, two EN-
pire State expresses daily.
The Twentieth Century Limited, twenty
hour train, leaves New York every day at
2:45 p NJ and arrives at Chicago the next
morning at 9:45. The Lake Shore Limited
leaves New York at $50 every afternoon,
arriving in Chicago the next afternoon at
4S0 The Fast Mail, fine twentyfour-
hour train, leaves New York at 8:45 A. NJ.
every day, reaching Chicago the next morn.
ing at7:5O, by both the Lake Shore and the
Michigan Central. The noondhy Chicago
Limited leaves New York at p NJ, reach
ing Chicago by the Lake Shore the next
morning at ll:50, . Neutrality-suspicious. train,
really twenty-three hours and fifty minutes.
The Detroit and Chicago Limited leaves
New York at 4 P. M, reaching Chicago the
next afternoon, fourth Neutrality-suspicious.
train.-From The New York Times.
Note-The New York Central also has
Is trains day between New York and Buff
falo and Niagara Falls; trains day be
tween New York and st. Louis and Cincin-
natl; 4 trains day between New York and
Montreal and by its Boston and ALBANY
division trains day between New York
and Boston via Springfield.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
He Was Not Lonely.

Stranger-Have you always lived ia
this place, my little man?
Boy (respectfully)-Yes, sir.
Stranger (pityingly)-1t must be
very dismal here.
Boy (cheerfully)-Oh, no, sir! Ihave
lots of fun with the guys who come
along here nearly every day and ask
foolish questions-Golden Days.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
A Subject for Debaf,

"You know he married Miss Mil
lions"
"And they do not get along?"
''No. They can't agree about what
portion of the wife's income the hus-
band ought to have. Puck.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09

"Why. Willie" said mamma, you're
pulling the cat . tai" Mamma, l amt pull.
ing her tail. I'm only holding it, and she's
doing the pulling. Humane Society Bull.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
Drug on the Market,

Wright-Is your new book pure fc-
ton?
Penman-Yes, it is.
swell, you've made big mistake;
it's the other kind that pays."-Yon-
kers Statesman.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09

81 have heard that Miss Chopchin
married young FLINDERS with the idea
of reforming him.
"Well, she succeeded. He says he'll
never marry again if he lives to be
thousand years old" Detroit Free
Press
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09

Wife (gleefully)-I am going on the
stage. ......
Husband (savagely)-But won't al
low it.
Wife-Oh, but I've got to have d.
vorce anyhow if go on the stage, and
here's where l make good.-Chicago
Chronicle.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
The Lean and Hungry.

Some men there be so clever
That people look askance:
They're regarded with suspicion
And they never get a chance.
Washington Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09

Money vas der roct uf much friendship.-
N. Y. American.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
A Fair Exchange.

II don't think they ought to prose-
cute that farmer found making coun-
terfeit dollars"
"Why not?''
''Why, undoubtedly he was merely
getting ready to go to the city and buy
some gold bricks. just case of fair
exchange. "-Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09

Whoever are least disturbed in mind by
calamitles, and in act struggle against them,
these are the best men in states and in pr1-
vate life.-Epictetus.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09

Putnam Fadeless Dyes are fast 10 light
and washing.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09

The essence of knowledge is, having it, to
apply it, not having it, to confess it.-Con-
full1a .
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09

Piso's Cure for Consumption is an infalh.
Bile remedy for coughs and colds.-N. w.
Samuel, Ocean Grove, Nj, Feb. II, 1900.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09

Trim people who want to appear stouter
have been known to lie in wait.-Philadel
phia Evening Bulletin.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09
shake I.to Your shoes

Aliens Foot-Ease It cures painful, swollen,
smarting. sweating feet. Makes new shoes
easy Sold by all Druggists and Shoe Stores.
Don't accept any substitute Sample y e FREE.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1903-05-09

Opium and Liquor Habits Cured.
Book free B. NJ! Woolley, NJ D., Atlanta, Ga.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1903-08-15
Doctor
Tried but Could Not
Relieve Me
Of Headache, Dizzi-
ness, Twitching.
DR.. Miles Nervine Did
Relieve and Cure.

"The doctor tried but couldn't relieve me"
is phrase commonly met with in the letters
we receive from grateful patients. The
reason is plain. The doctor tries to cure the
symptom and ne.lects the disease. In all
cases of chronic headache, nervousness,
weakness, general debility, dizzy spells, loss
of appetite inability to sleep, lack of energy,
loss of flesh, lack of interest, morbid tend
encies, hysteria, the disease is a nervous dis
order and some means must be taken to
strengthen and restore tine nervous system.
Dr. Miles Restorative Nervine is performing
wonders every day and will cure you as it
has thousands of others. X II how quickly
it acted in tie follow ng case:
"a few years ago | was greatly troubled
with nervousness and indgeStl While at
work a dizzy spell would come .er me and
| would be forced to stop and rest | suffered
terrib y from headaches and nv nervousness
was SO marked as to cause almost constant
twltching of the muscles. My doctor tried
but could not relieve me. | finally began
the use of DR.. Miles Restorative Nervine
and continued until have used four bottles
altl ough l have not had dizzy spell since
taking the first dose. am very thankful for
what your medicine has done for me and
shall take pleasure in recommending it
whenever | can."-FRANK P. BENTLEY, Mid
dlebury, Vt.
All druggists sell and guarantee first bot.
tie Dr. Miles Remedies. Send for free book
on Nervous and Heart Diseases. AddreE S
DR.. Miles Medical Co., Elkhart. Ind.
The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1903-08-15
WOOdlaWn.

The Cecil Wing is on sale each week
in Woodlawn, at c. S. Abraham's store.
cents Il copy.
Miss Annabel Wood has returned to Eas-
ton after spending some time with Miss
Rawlings.
Mrs. Sarah f.. Seager of Baltimore, is the
guest of Mrs. NJ. l.. Thompson.
MIR. and Mrs. Howard Al adams, of Brook
Ign, are guests of his parents.
Mr.. Arthur Bryde, of Washington, is at
home this week.
Misses Ola and Mabel KeilholtZ, of Balti-
more, are visiting their mother.
Miss Lila Charsha, of Baltimore, Is home
for camp.
Mr.. CT. Bryde and Miss Miller, of Phila-
delphia, visited his parents saturday and
Sunday.
Mrs. Joseph Lamb, Miss Matte Lamb,
Mrs. Lou Malambre and Master Guy, OF
baltimore, are the guests of Mrs. Rachel
Marshall.
Miss Ada Benjamin, of Wilmington, is
visiting Miss Bertha Rutter.
Mr.. Harvey stone, of Baltimore, visited
Mr.. Horace Gillespie this week.
Mrs. Edward T. Bryde, of Wilmington, is
the guest of her parents.
Ralph Gibson Is working at Wampum, Pa.
Mrs. Johnson and daughter, of Media, and
Miss Lidie Brown, of oxford, are the guests
of their sister Mrs. A. C.. Gibson.