The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-04-12
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IN .>DO>OL.ES::Y $: - .. -:
MIR. Dooley ON Diplomatic
Uniforms
BY F. P. dunno.
Copyright, 1903, by Robert Howard Russell.

He blowed in his tay to make it cool
an afther that all tn Fr-rinch arrys-
tocracy cud be seen blowin' into their
tay. He wore a hat that had shtud
him in good stead through tin hard
winters on tn road an tn gr-reatest
mobiles in France took to sittin' on their
hats befure goin' out, to make thin
look like tn Hat Obadiah which had
become tn style. An whin he wint
away, which he did not because he was
not SUCCESSFUL but because he needed
fresh fine cut, he was followed to tn
boat be tn king an all tn rile family.
Thin was tn modest days iv tn ray
public, Hinnissy. It's different now that
we've become wurruld power. TIL
sufferin's iv some iv our ambassadures
on account iV their clothes has been
turr' BILE. 1t was r-readin' tn sad case
iv tn ambaSsadure to ROOshya, tn
Hon rable Charleymayne Tower iv
Phillydelphy, Pa. If l had that name.
divvle a car Wud scare me. I'd ask
FIR UNIFORM. TIL name itself is uny-
form enough. Some names sounds like
overalls; some sounds like a long coat
an high hat, but Charleymayne Tow
err sounds like tn clothes a boss
Knights Timplar wears ivry three
years. 1t has forty pounds iv epaulets
on it's shoulders. It's tn kind Nv a
| name Gin'ral Miles wud like to wear
FIR a UNIFORM. If I had that name I'd
go to tn palace in a sheet an expict tn
guards to fall down on their faces. But
all tn time he was in ST Petersburg,
Charleymayne Tower suffered tn
gr-reatest torture on account Nv tn
clothes he had on an tn clothes he
didn't have on. He had no UNIFORM.
At coort rayciptions he looked like a
plain clothes man at a fancy ball He
was enable to perform amy iv tn
gr-reat jooties iv an ambassadure. Ivry
shtep was blocked be his miserable at
tire. He was doubled crossed be tn
loWliest iv diplomats who were entitled
to put on glad, bright things whin they
wint to see tn czar. Wan day he come
r1lin' up to tn palace carryin in tn
tail iv his simple black coat a mos
important threaty. He had made man
ny attimpts to have this threaty sign
ed be tn car, but tn car had always
spurned him OWN to tn Vaccinations
" Lord Ronald, tn English ambassa-
dure, an VeecOnt Boulbaze, tn
Fr-rinch ambassadure. Both these
naughty ambassadures had a WindCNT
dhresser firm a gint's furnishin' store
FIR valley an Whin tn American am
bassadure stood alongside iv thin,
tell We, he looked cheap.
But this day Charleymayne Tower
was prepared to brave tn car in his
very throne He rolled up in his car
redge an tn sintry cried: Who goes
there" TIL ambassadure iv tn United
States iv America, huroo,' says the
coachman. That .man?' says the sin
try. 10th kitchin 7dure with We, wait
err he says. Well, tn ambassadure
stiffled his rage an attimpted to ex-
plain about himsilf an tn sintry run
him in. $ Yes, sir. he. run in tn ambas-
sadure iv tn United States an they
was jus about to take his phottygraft
an sind him off in tn Black Maria
to Sibeerya whin a gran jock come
along an identified him an they let
him go. He hurried to tn throne room
where Nicholas, car iv Rooshya, was
settin' on his rile throne, an took his
place in line. TIL ambassadure Nv Eng
land wore tn gorjous UNIFORM Nv his
station; TIL ambassadure Nv France
jingled with medals; tn ambassadure
~ Chiny wore pink an green tea
gown. Wan be wan they was PRESENTED
an tn car complimented thin on
their clothes. Very testy, Lord Ron
aid Handsome pants we're wearin'
this day, veecont.' Ling Ching, me
wife, tn czaretta, wants me to ask We
tn name iv ye'er dhressmaker' But
whin tn ambassadure iv tn United
States bint his proud knee befure tn
car, tn naughty monarch said with
an evil smile: Carson, bring the