The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-05-10
CLEAN BASEBALL.

From the Daily American. President Pulliam announces that there will be no rowdy baseball this year. de- cIares that such conduct will mean the ruin of any player. This, then, is what may be expected:
 Scene: Baseball grounds. 10th street. Time: Any afternoon.
 Characters One umpire and eighteen ball tossers
 The New Workers are at bat. Brooklyn Is in the field .Augsy" McGraw stands at plate, while new south paw twirler sends one along two feet above his head. and four feet wide.
 Umpire Lynch-One strike.
 Pitcher (to himself)-Hully gee. $ McGraw with a low bow)-Well, really. MT. Lynchi
 Lynch fwith another bow. equally low)- beg your pardon, MT. McGraw, you were about to remark?
 McGraw-I merely desired to draw your attention to the altitude at which that sphere passed us both. Lynch (irmlyl-I give close attention to the. sphere at all times. After careful, If somewhat hasty consideration 1 decided that 1t was a strike.
 McGraw-,1f course, my dear sir have mot the slightest wish to controvert your declaration. It merely seemed to me that the ball passed me at a greater altitude than is allowed by the rules governing the game.
 Lynch-I think, Mir McGraw. that the public would be pleased to see us resume play
 McGraw-As you say, sir. (Resumes po- siton at bat)
 Pitcher sends one just over the plate and at the waist line
 Hv.., McGraw smiles quietly to himself Pitcher walks slowly toward umpire Crowd leans eagerly forward, looking for the usual row
 Lynch-Pardon me. sir, but you have walked far from the box.
 Pitcher (taking off his cap)-Pardon me- Mir. Lynch. I was not quite certain of your pronouncement in this matter. Did you announce that last one as ball or a strike?
 Lynch (very politely)-Oh, Lam sorry to have given you all this extra exercise. will hereafter make my announcements in louder tone. I said that it was not a strike.
 Pitcher-How very odd? I was quite sure that it was. How did it seem to you. NIr McGraw?
 McGraw-WelI, really, old chap you can hardly ask me to decide MT Lynch is I am sure, quite capable of making his de-
 
 Pitcher-Oh, of course. we all realize that As matter of fact have never seen a man with finer eyesight or better Judgment. I merely thought he might possibly have been mistaken.
 Lynch-On the contrary. my dear boy. l am quite certain in the matter.
 Pitcher (going back to the box)-Oh, then, of course. there is nothing more to be said. Beg pardon for bothering you about the matter, sir.
 Lynch-Not at all. It is always a great pleasure to explain matters.
 The next ball over McGraw knocks into center field, sending it low over second base. The fielder stumbles and McGraw tries for second base He makes It by very close margin. t Lynch-Runner out
 Second Baseman do McGraw with 4laugh)-He was quite mistaken that time. failed most lamentably in my effort to touch you.
 McGraw (forgetting himself)-Heln I was safe mile. (Second baseman nearly faints with surprise) Oh, I beg your par don, my dear fellow, I quite forgot that was playing baseball.
 4Lynch (caling to MeGraw)-I beg your. pardon sir, but will you very kindly come Tn from second base; we waiting for you in order that we may resume the game. As you may have noticed the audi ence Is growing somewhat restive.
 McGraw Gas he passes Lynch)-I greatly fear, my dear fellow, that your eyes are troubling you again. I was quite safe at second.
 Lynch-I rather fancy you are right about that. l fear l did make a mistake Il really beg your pardon
 New player from the California league comes to bat
 Lynch-One strike
 Player (dropping his bat and turning angrlly to Lynch)-Why, you wall-eyed son of a gun, dat ball was A mile in de air, seei Say, if youse tinks youse kin rob me dat way you're all off, see, You gimme fair deal or I'll jolly well break that ugly old face O yourn. Oats wat I'll do. seel
 Lynch (angrily)-Ill fix you after the game, you big stiff, You couldn't hit the pah anyway. You COW punchers can't come here and tell us gentlemen about the game. Get busy no- or I'll put vou out of the game.
 Western Player Gesuming place at plate)-Oh, go chase yourself.
 Lynch-Two strikesl
 Player (sotto voice)-Robberi
 Lynch-Threo strikes. You're outt Player goes to bench eursing loudly At the next decision McGraw comes to umpire. He forgets the new rules McGraw tangriy)-Look here you stiff are you trying to rob LIS of this game9 el won't stand for any of y - non sense, either, seel
 Ihe team gathers about them in the same old way
 sumpire-Get out of the game; and you are fined fifty dollars
 Members of the Team-Liarl Thief Cowardl Wait tilI get you outside, Go Son; kill the son of a gun.
 Voices From the Grandstand-Go on with the game An, kill that rotten mn pire! Shut up, can't ye; he's all right Let him. alonel We'll, well, well! Kin that manl
 Crowd rushes into the field. The police reserves are called out and nine ambu- iances are filled with the dead and wounded Rowdy baseball is thing of the past.
 FIIIPlNO BETTE