Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1903-05-16
NEW JOKES ARE RARE.
Aneients Laid the Foundations For
Most Funny Sayings.

Aneients Laid the Foundations For
Most Funny Sayings.
Another scientist has come forward
with a startling array Of facts to
prove to the funny men that their
witticisms are older than all the hills
put together.
Not long ago some German savant
discovered some Chaldean inscriptions
which, when translated, were found to
be stories with which readers Of the
comic papers today are more or less
familiar One was Of a certain wan
derer from some remote province who
asked a distinguished looking man al
a great feast given by the king who a
certain homely looking woman was
THAT" said the distinguished looking
man, "is my sister," "Oh, no." put In
the stranger, hastily and in great con-
fusion, Il mean that hideous looking
creature standing next to her.
THAT" said the Chaldean, "is my
wife,"
And now comes Prof. Francis H
Lee, the instructor Of history in the
Boys High school in Philadelphia, with
long list of jokes exhumed from the
dead and mouldy past and which he
thinks proves conclusively the old the
ory that there were only thirteen orig
inal jokes, and that all the rest are
merely some form Of the original thir-
teen.
The well-known sarcasm, docs
your mother know you're out? Is said
to have its original in the Roman poet
Horace.
Coming Out of Wet.
The expression, "he doesn't know
enough to come in out of the wet,
finds curious parallel in this ancient
anecdote from Strabo, Greek writer
who lived at the time Of Christ. The
inhabitants of Cyme had raised some
money by mortgaging one Of the pub
lie arcades. But as the loan was not
repaid the mortgages took possession
Of the property, good naturedly letting
people take shelter there when it rain
ed.
This was announced by a crier, who
called out, Come under SHELTER
Hence a story arose that the people
were so stupid that they didn't know
when to seek shelter unless they were
told.
Jokes on the occupations and pro-
fessions are common in all nations
from early times. g
Plutarch on Mothers -in-Law.
The physician is always hard hit, as
he is today. Jests on relationships
are quite common, and the mother-in-
law seems to have been just as un-
popular in antiquity as she is today.
Witness the following story from
Plutarch, the author Of the Lives
"A man, angry at dog, picked up a
stone and threw it at the animal. He
missed the dog and happened to hit
his mother-in-law, who was standing
near. Whereupon he turned to the by
ISLANDERS and remarked, Not so bad
after ALL"
Some Of the slurs at physicians are
characterized by an almost American
extravaganza. Here are two oE three
from the collection Of poems known as
the Greek Anthology:
Pausanias, the Spartan general
when asked why he spoke evil Of a
doctor whom he had never consulted
said: IF had consulted him 1 should
not now be speaking either good OF
evil about anybody"
BARRIERS Always TaIkative.
BARRIERS were equally hard hit In
olden times, and their talkativeness
was just as irksome as it is today.
Horace, the Roman poet, in mention
ing piece of gossip. says it was well
known in the barber shops, and Plu-
tarch tells of barber who. trimming
the head Of a certain King Archelaus
asked How shall I cut it," I'm 81
lence," replied the king.