The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-08-23
City Regulator
& 8
To the Editor of the Eagle:
Makes Suggestions as to
How TO Build a Wichita.

nad GUT the freight rates On Slack ten
cents ton Our manufacturing inter-
ests are growing rapidly and enlarging
in capacity. increasing their demand for
slack. The railroad companies own and
control the mines, being unable to i'll
rates forty cents per ton. The stuff that
consumers in this city, pay for called
| slack is Of no value in eastern mines.
! The article they call slack in eastern
mines is sold to US as nut coal Possibly
before the winter is over consumers Will
be glad TO buy it as lump coal If Wich-
| ita win assert herself and build her own
road into the coal fields southeast the
price, kind and quality of coal will be
| settled.
The boy did not drown IN the lake at
| the corner of Bailey and Main streets
because it's contents are too thick for
water and too thin for mud. This is
perhaps the reason it has not been
/ drained.
! Kansas people are queer-nothing sur
| pTises them. Everything is on a big
scale. Draw a circle covering one hun
dred and twenty-five miles from Wichita
and in that circle there is eighty million
| bushels of wheat. In that same circle
who would dare to estimate the number
| of bushels of corn. The average Kan
san thinks nothing of such things as if
| there was nothing impossible for Kansas.
! If you go driving today go over to
the West Side and drive north to Cen
trail avenue section line, then drive west
| two miles to Hoovers farm and take
a look at an apple orchard. The trees
are full of apples. Mr.. Hoover says he
VIII, in all probability, gather eight
thousand barrels of apples from this or
chard. If you go you can see what
twenty thousand bushels of apples look
like growing on trees.
If / was Uncle Sam and was recruit
ing for the navy and was sending out
samples with the recruiting officer as de-
| coys, 1 would select strong, athletic
rosy, dosy. healthy young feliows-not
samples that we're no thicker than the
cigarettes they smoke.
The fellows have been wrestling with
a mathematical problem. If seven women
boarding at the best hotel in the city
canvassing for a book and secures
four subscribers a day at FIVE dollars
each. after paying the hotel bill, the
printer and commission to the agent,
How much will the widow get?
WANTED-A kicking machine; must
be in first class order. Address book
agent victim,' city.
Which will be the cheapest. slack or
corn for fuel?.
WANTED-A>c company to bore for oil
and gas on the prairie near Furley in the
northeast corner of the county
If the railroads have advanced the
rates on coal four dollars per car, and
Wichita consumes five hundred cars per
week, how much will that be?
If the railroad companies make two
thousand dollars extra per week on their
advance on rates on slack, how much
did they make before the advance?
If all the colored chaps now residents
who tramp our streets day and night,
snatching from the fruit-stands, grocers
and shops. were made TO show some
visible means of support or leave town,
how many would walk the plank and
what per cent of hold-ups would we
have?
I would tear up the cobbIe stones in
the tracks and between the tracks and
put in asphalt. The Eagle will pay for
its twenty-five feet.
The directors of the Wichita Orphan
Home are confronted with the heat
ing proposition for the building. The
hot water system is what they want.
} 1t Will cost seven or eight hundred dol
lars. It is Wichitas own work. They
are our babies. They are not Missouri
widows. but helpless waits that must
/ be kept comfortable. Just drop the book
agent a postal card and say that you
have concluded not to take the book
/ and will give the money to the Orphans
Home I am sure the Missouri widow
will be willin gto release you of the fifty
will be willing to release you OF the fifty
II the smiles and srnirks Of a Mis-
4 souri, woman will cause you to cough
up five plunks to support a Missouri
book agent. incidentally for a Missouri
/ widow who has lived all her life in lux
ury. such as the aristocratic slave-hold-
err Of the south enjoy. how many smiles
and entreaties will 1t take, from your
/ u-ifa 70 90, Won 70 give her One-half that
amount TO buy clothes for the kids?
It is generally conceded that the two
handsomest men in Wichita are Chief
Burt and Judge Stanley. AS to which
Of the two 1 viii leave that with you.
Should you be undecided telephone their
wives P s: The Regulator is not an
ticipating being arrested.
I would tell the hucksters. fruit and
vegetable peddlers that they must not
throw their unstable truck onto the
streets in front Of residences as they
60 along from house to house selling
:heir goods.
You know that the trees fruits and
/ grasses that are indigenous 10 the county
when cultivated. grow 10 a greater per-
! lection than those thar are not. WHY not
give the crab grass 4 fair trial and in
stead Of pulling il up. cultivate IT, fertil-
ize il. water IT. NOW IL short like YOU do
blue grass. roll It and see II perhaps you
can evolute grass that will be as desir-
able as the Kentucky blue grass
CITY REGULATOR