New-York tribune., 1903-08-08
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Compulsory baseball is the latest order in the
Duluth Police Department. The patrolmen are to
report for baseball the as for target practice
or drill This outdoor exercise is expected to keep
the officers in fine physical trim, working off sur
plus flesh. hardening the muscles, and incidentally,
teaching them to catch whatever comes their way.
One veteran OF the department objected very
stTenuousy to the new order. He had never been
in game in his life. vet he performed a feat at
the preliminary game Saturday that probably
had never been equaed in the history of the great
national game. There were three men on bases and
two strikes him. Then he cleared the bases
and brought In four runs without so much as
touching the ball.
He got his base on balls and. not having played
before started to steal second despite the that
there a that base and another at third.
The opposing team of police got excited trying
to get him out that every man on the patch was
able to the plate and the kicking veteran
was informed that he had made home run with
out hitting the ball
Our esteemed contemporary. The Ashtabula
99nl0a Reeogd-HeTald gives RromineR{Ge { on its
time she is in the hospital and is getting along
nicely Growing country. Ohio.-(Rochester Post
Express.
The jew nose" with hook found in only
per cent of the three thousand Hebrews observed
by DR.. F;shberg. medical examiner for the United
Hebrew Societies. Straight constituted 6S
per cent. broad noses u per cent. and retrousse
noses II per cent
SODA WATER JOYS.
Haven of refuge when the sun is baking
Blessed retreat where my thirst am shaking.
Place of refreshing liquids caTbonated mat
Sizzling and kissing from the faucets nickelled
ay aT hfr9 thou tR hrn faf od pago
Sweet habitation of the cooling soda,
All that see around is satisfying
Broad palmleaf fans upon the counter lying.
Bright hued crushed fruits in crystal bowls
Straw berry lemon-what there is no knowing
Labels attractive, havors sweet suggesting:
Who Who, seeing these wouId still crave @ to upoad
Schooner OF beer when he can get a soda?
Youth with the curl upon thy forehead looping.
Prthee unbend from thy white spotless starching.
Fill me a glass, for I am choked and parching.
over the pavement blocks have l been roaming
Just plain vanilla-let it come a-foaming
All! What can beat the good old soda fountain?
-(Chicago News
A New-Mexico correspondent sends to Case and
Comment the following letter written by a newly
elected Justice of the peace in that Territory some
twenty years ago, when conditions were somewhat
more primitive than now
Il wish YOU would send me fee bill for justices
and constables. / have but law book in my
office and that is a last years almanac and does
not contain "a fec bill
Il had my first case yesterday and the tur,-
promptly found verdict for the plaintiff and I
charged the defendant 500 costs He kicked and
I reduced IT to s5, which he paid. I then 'whacked
about right If I don't hear from you before the
next case comes the costs will be $5, This thing
has got TO pay"
SOME STRENUOUS LIVES.
The chauffeur Scorches like the deuce
u know my brakes is his excuse
He knows his brakes and breaks his nose!
said I wished that every crank
In town iT were we're mafe rad ton to walk dS,t the & plank
He trundIes oil cans round the room.
And oils the wheels OF every loom.
oh, what ceaSeess round of toll
He oils the wheels and wheels the oil!
Cap. Wheeler runs cat, cattle boat
And owns the cargo that's anoat
His work will him out, he fears:
lie steers the ship and ships the steers
-(Chicago Record-Herald
Napkin rings hair combs. walking stick knobs
brush backs and handles cigarette and hold
ers and a variety of other small objects
being made Of milk, according TO a Paris corre-
spnndent. 1t appears that much of the cheap imi-
taton ivory in the trade comes from the COW.
There are even alleged pearls worn in earrings or
in other kinds of socalled fancy jewelry which
literally drops of condensed milk nobleman
owning immense estates and large farms in the
Ioiret Department has set up factory for carry
ing on this new industry. His produce some
two hundred gallons Of milk a day. two-thirds OF
which is sent Paris in the season. But in the
summer the demand falls OFF. while the cows CON
ttnue TO yleld the usuai quantity ftencS the IN
genious nobleman's new departure. The casein OBJ
tanned from the milk is converted under great
pressure into ducte substance called "lactite
the possible of which 10 be unlimited
1t is this sub-product OF milk which Is replacing
celluloid in the market as imitation ivory
"As journalist don't you think Grg6ster's
styie is highly colored?''
Very much 50, When he began. it was green.
then II got blue, and now it is q pronounced yell
l0W."-(49s-