The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1903-01-09

save my cows, but two Of 'em got into
the garden and have eat up a dozen
heads of cabbage. Who's to pay for
them cabbaSes, / want to knowY
1T has always been difficult thing"
continued the G. o. d. man, with n
smile, "to make. certain people under
stand the difference between a dilapi.
dated gentleman and tramp. This
has brought me into trouble with coun.
try constaDles quite often. The aver /
age constable looks upon tramp as ]
fair game TO make fees out of. He
runs him in on the chance Of his being
sent up. and he likes to put on the
handouts and make out that he has q
desperate character in custody! One
afternoon last year as i was sitting
by the roadside in Pennsylvania the
irropressible constable turned up and
yelled at me:
"'Now, then, what are you doing
here?'
Resting replied.
"'But you have no business to rest
az beg.to differ with YOU
You are tramp
"'We differ again.
"'And you are under arrest. Come
on
- asked for his warrant, and he took
me by the collar. Three seconds later
he heard something drop, and he drove
away, with bloody nose, to get help.
1t soon returned with another consta.
bic, and took off my coat and licked
them both. While they were off hunt.
ing fer more help and shotguns
walked inta town and sought out
lawyer and stated my case. He han.
pencQ TO be. down Oh the village JUS
tict, and when six armed men finally
landed me in court the lawyer was
there. He made hair stand UP before
he got through. / was not only dis
charged with an apology, but two of
the constGbles paid me So each to let
them off. They had no legal right
whatever to arrest me without Il war.
rant, and peither was l n tramp.
Il don't believe i ever walked ten
miles along highway without being
accosted and insulted by some smart
Alec OF Il farmers son. / have met
professional t"amps who told me the
same thing. If you ever find tramp
carrying. knife or gun or slung-
shot, 1t is that he may protect himself
from farmers SONS and hired men who
think to show OF by thrashing him. /
have given many Such chaps q sur
prise party. They have jumped out-of
wagons and come running across fields
10 ,tacklc mc, and. l have left them
sleeping OF the grass or III the dust.
One day as l was hooiing it along an
Ohio turnpike l was ovcrtakcn by
party in n carriage. There were three
young fellows and three gisls bound on
all excursion of some sort. and before
they came up beard talk of how. they
would jump me. over the fence. The
vehicle stopped, and the three young
men piled out and sailed into me. It
was golden opportunity to make he's
roes- Of themselves, but there was
screw loose somewhere, ! peeled off
my coat backed into fence corneri
and l had those chaps crying enough
in less than five minutes / don't
know how they settled it with tlie
girls. but the carriage turned back,
and the excursion was off. =
"a year ago In western New York /
met farmer and his sop driving on a Z
highway, and their wagon was stopped
to ask me If l had seen q stray horse.
When | had replied, the father said:
Look here, tramp, my son Bill is
aching to lick somebody or something,
and if you'll give him a fight I'll give
you > shillings.'
"B!ll was husky fellow of twenty
three, and without waiting for my an
Gwcr he jumped down and yanked off
his coat and made pass at me. l let
him think lie was the whole bakery
FOR two or three minutes, and then l
reached his jaw, and he laid down and.
snorcd. ] expected row with the IA
ther, but he laughed till the tears came
to his. eyes and got down and shook
hands with me and gave me dollar
and said:
"'By thunder, but you must board
with me- whole month. and / won't
charge you a cent. Bill has licked the
schoolmastcr, the hired man. five
tramps and patent churn man, ard
he's got to think he runs the whole
countg. We meet you. and he jumns
down to black your eyes and break
your nose, and you just woof, biff,
bang, and William lays down to take a
nap. Lordy, Lo:dy, but when he wakes
up and | tell him he's a licked man
he'll settle down and hoe more corn
than any five hired men,"
NJ. QUAD.