New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-12-07
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

When General Ian Hamilton. of the British
Army, was in Washington he was the guest of
Major General Corbin. and all his mail was sent
IN care of General Corbln to the War Department
One day large batch of letters arrived, and was
taken in charge by one of the brightest colored
messengers in the War Department to be deIiv-
cred at General Corbin's residence. But this mes
senger and others had read the addresses and
commented on them. Lieutenant General Sir Ian
Hamilton. X. c. b." they read What does K
c. B. mean?' asked messenger. Don't you
know what that means?' replied the other scorn-
fully, why, K. c. B. means the Cat Came
TWO soLILooUIEs.
Smith says:
Lock I5, at the peach that BTq yS-1 got.
I've got to take my sister.
Brown says; -. ...., 49,. su,..,.
MoTngg perfect queens I'd list her.
I've got to take my sister.
yale Record
In Germany they are beginning to cut down trees
by electricity. A platinum wire is heated to
white heat by an electric current and used like
saw. The tree is then cut down much quickly
than in the old way. taking only one-eighth OF the
time. The process makes sawdust and shows
other advantages. its economy. however. being its
chief recommendation. and giving assurance that
it will be widely adopted
She seems to be natural fiirt" he said.
"Natural?" the impatiently replied.
There's nothing natural about her bat the frame
work'-(Chicago Record-Herald-
A correspondent of THE London King" relates
this striking instance of the stupidity of native
servants In India. The occasion was a big dinner
party in Calcutta. and among the hosts servants
was khitmagar table servant whose duty it was
to go round with the champagne, or as the ma
tives call it. "simkn." Unfortunately the man
was a bit "dotty.' else had been Supplying him
self with opium. for when he began with the prin-
cipal woman guest terrible contretemps occurred.
The woman was elderly and deaf. and she habituaI-
ly carried about with her an ear trumpet When
the man came round with the champagne she was
talking. and did not hear him say "Simkin, men,
tone and she raised her ear trumpet to her ear in
order to catch what was being asked of her. Per-
haps he thought II was a sort of drinking YES
sci. but, anyhow. he promptly filled the trumpet
with champagne!
SIGNS OF THE TINES
The janitor smiles in the friendiest way
And asks If there is anything else he can do;
The postman was pleasant when he came to-day
He said: II am glad when have mail for you"
The cook says she doesn't want afternoons out.
It's hard to decide what they're thinking about
But Christmas is something like three weeks
away.
The boy with the papers comes early at last
And iucks them securely against the front door;
The grocers boy brings us our orders so fast
The officer too. who is watch OF our street
assures US he's sying our house night and day
Well, Christmas is something like three weeks
away.
The office boy begs for some errands TO run;
Old friends write us letters from places afar:
The waiter inquiries If our steak is we'll done,
And IF it's not right then the chef gets jar"
The grim elevator boy-oh, what change!
It's We who give orders, tits he must obey.
Yes, every ones pleasant-and isn't IL strange
When Christmas Is something like three weeks
away? -(Chicago Tribune.
Some of our railroads ordering electric loco
motives Weighing eighty,ive tons EACH with
rating OF 200 horsepower. and a capacity for
hauling heavy trains at speed OF sixty miles
hour. Nevertheless. cars drawn by horses are stin
crawling through certain thoroUghfares in the
Borough Of Manhattan.
Never Touched Him.-'You ought TO have a place
in grand OPERA remarked the sarcastic passenger
who was trying to read.
oh don't know replied the fat party across
the aisle, who was giving an imitation OF
I've got place IN Grand Rapids that's good
enough for me. "-(Chieago News