New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-10-10
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The much disputed question about whether
not absence makes the heart grow fonder has been
settled for good and all E Missouri when a debate
on this topic held one Of the little colleges
subsidized by kind hearted Fasteners. The judges
decided for the negative. in view OF some OF the
personal facts brought out by the debaters.
sALUT AU CHAUFFEUR.
Supposed to have been written by Walt whitmanJ
a song OF the automobile! A carol of the festive
feur sitting aplomb in the midst Of devastationl
chant OF speeds; tires, tonneaus. spark plugs.
See the loeomokok omobiIe scooting through my
poemi The watt and OF gasolene floating
through my morning rOmanza
the old rooster who didn't iumn GuicS enough -
Seel The robust Manhattanese. attred I'm the usual
getting out Of the road for dear life The i'm;
potence OF his cqss words! The uselessness OF
the protests OF the apoplectic old lady!
See! The overcuriOus calf standing in the middle
the two instantly Transformer into veal Or
Auons, mes enfants! whoop!
See! The festive chauffeur. rampant chantant
jqb ls moying, the lever to let the speed out
See the wagon, the horses rearing and plunging.
He is upon them. Crash! That a good oneI
decline to be the poet of the COP also ~ --0'
See the suburban cop standing, ready pinch
those who break the speed laws, The loco
10 stop; the iigger enraged shooting the tire
OF the car; the tire punctured. the Red Devil
See the cop dragging the chauffeur before police
Judge; the judge imposing q fine; the chauffeur,
Justitia, femme. salute you! l perceive that
once in awhile YOU get there with both feet!
-(Horace b. Matthews in Life.
In downtown church. as The Philadelphia
Press tells the story. there introduced n new
hymn last Sunday. and after the dismissal Of the
services the organ blower found his way to the
players bench and asked in a meek voice, How
did the music for that hymn go this EVENING"
oh. very well. very well, indeed" replied the
organist. but why do you ask?" We'll" said the
blower. I'll tell you the truth. I biz ner-
vous and bit worried about II. for you see." he
went on explaining. Il never blowed for that hymn
before"
True Gallantry.-sr Walter Raleigh's chvalrous
action OF throwing his cloak the ground for his
Queen to step on is recalled BY the story Of small
4 little girl standing one very cold morning
in one Of the poorer districts OF Edinburgh. waiting
mhittanee into hall where meal was to be given
cred violently, and tried in vain keep her bare
feet warm.
A ragged little urchln who was standing near
observed her. and taking off his cap and laying it
at her feet, said. Here. lassie. stand on my cap
TIL the door opens'-(N. c.
A determined sutton has now found a new way
OF using the motor car for matrimonial purposes
according to the Paris correspondent OF THE Lon
don Telegraph" The lady willing but her
parents obdurate He pretended to give I'D
being
merely friend Of the family. and he took out the
girl and her father for automobile drive to
Havre. At a dangerous part OF the road he sud-
denly put the fourth speed, and the car sprang
away at a terrific The girl sat still and
showed fear. but her terrified father shouted to
the who wanted to be his son-in-law to stop.
Consent my marriage with your daughter
was all the mOtorist replied. Still the car tore
along. and II any obstacle had appeared in the
road at least three fatalities would have occurred
stop! We shall all be killed. the girls father
continued TO cry. Most certainly We shall" said
the determined young man, grimy. IF you don't
consent at once am going to send the machine
into the ditch. and this rate that means quick
death" As he spoke he impaired violent Iurches
from side to side to the Il consent 1 con-
sent!" gasped the vanquIshed parent I'm
mediately the car slowed down. and the rest OF
the journey was done at a steady touring pace.
But during the motors previous mad career a Do
Hceman had jotted down it's number When The
girls father, to whom the machine belongs an
peared in court in answer to the summons bis
future son-in-law accompanied him and looked ex-
ceedingly pleased with himself When fine of
I6 francs was imposed the younger man said he
would pay II himself. with pleasure He copadad
TO the magistrate that the day has been named
TO THE MODERN Girl,
IA widely read and Informed journal STAT, ~.
6rity.I Hsr mule
Though much III chosen exercise
Though you are weak and pale 49,
Take comfort from this cheering fact
You still able to attract
The notice of The Mall -Cpuroh
Colonel Sir Francis Aylmer Graves-SawI who
died the other day, enjoyed baronetcy of c,,rio,
origin His grandfather owned a picture vrbi,h
King William " desired to buy. His majesty va.
politely informed that the picture was not fo,.
| sale but II the owner thought worthy 30
the dignity OF a baronet he would respectfully ash
| his majesty 20 accept the picture n gift The
| baronetcy was duly conferred and the picture
changed hands
When Contradictions Abound.-Ascum-T man
seems fond declaring that life Is fun OF contya
dictions" what does he mean nv that any waV ,
-. Henpeck-I suppose no means TO cay merely that
- l. ulArried.-iPh iladelphla Press.