Bisbee daily review., 1903-12-15
BROTHER GARDNER
He Gives Some PaternA Advice to 0 Departing Brother % <
ICopyright. 1908. by c. B. Lewis. l

diaEspolis and establish a col pred ice cream and popcorn depot. with sarsaparilla and molasses candy on the outside. and he at once began getting his shoes mended and the buttons sew ed on his vest
 At the last meeting of the club 1t was announced that he had succeeded in borrowing 90 cents of Elder Pen stock and would start on his journey next day After the routine business had been transacted Brother Gardner arose and looked around and queried:
 Am Brudder Shindig Watkins in our midst dis eavenin'?'
 He am." replied the brotser as he stood up.
 "I didn't know but yo' had dun fell outer de winder into de alley. same as once befo'. an Ize glad to find to Ge contrary. Brudder Watkins. Fze bin told dat yo talk O leavin' us:
 'Yes. sah; does.
 "Gwine down to lnjianny to sot up in bizness fur yo'self, l hear?"
 Yes. sah."
 ''Waal. dis club will miss yo'. an each an ebery member will be sorry to see yo' go. While yo' am not a brilliant man. neither hev yo' spit on de stove nor broken any lamp chim- neys. As dis am de last meetin' befo' yo'r departur' I wish to say a few ia therly words to yo.'
 Yes, sah."
 Tn de fust place. pay up all yo'r debts befo' yo go. Had Cicero left Rome owin' fur house rent, groceries, bacon an so on he could never hev achieved greatness. In de second place, if yo've bin mad at anybody be- kase yo' couldn't agree about de aige of Noah when he entered de ark go to him an offer yo'r hand an make friends
 ''I has dun it. sah," replied Shindig. Dat am well. I also want to take advantage of dis occashun to say few words to yo' on de subject of hon esty.
 "A good many years ago. as de story runs, dar was a strictly honest man. He begun life wid de determinashun to do de sQuar thing under all sarcum- stances. He had cash capital of S25,-
  He planted watermillyuns an didn't hire nobody to watch de patch. He kept chickens an didn't hev no lock or de henhouse doah He lent money an didn't ax fur no I. O. U. He signed bonds an notes an didn't ax fur no se- curity. If he bought mewl he took de Odder mans word fur it; if he sold one he promptly p'inted out de ringbones an spavins an owned up dat de beast was about twenty years old.
 "Brudder Watkins. how long do yo' reckon dat man lasted? In jest nine years he was ir de poorhouse. an be nebber dun got out ag'in. All de rest of de kentry was watchin him to see how de experiment would pan out. It was dead failure an solemn warnin'. Does yo' ketch on. Brudder Watkins?'
 'I reckon does, sah," was the reply.
 "Doan' go down to lnjianny feelin' dat yo' am doin' de state great favor by de coInili', an doan attempt to put on style ober de people yo' meet. If yo' had nebber bin bon into dis world de state of Injianny would hev got along jest de same. She wants yo'r ice cream am 'lasses candy. but she isn't gwine to bust up bekase she doan git 'em.
 "It will of co'se be known dat yo' am a member of dis Limekiln club. an aldermen, judges an eben de guvner will call on yo' an stop to shake hands wid yo' on de street. Doan' let yo'rseif git swelled up wid pride. Be jest proud huff to go right on tendin' to biZness. ,.-f tn v.:a like a b'iler carryin' too much steam. Does yo' understand my meanin'. Brud- der Watkins?''
 ''Yes, sah; does. sah."
 'Doan' land ia Indianapolis wid any pertickler motto on yo'r banner. Excel sior am very good motto. but it sel- dom pans out anything dat de owner feels proud of Notices war all right POO years ago. when land was cheap an yo' could vote as often as yo' want ed to on 'leckshun day. but times hey changed. In olden times honesty was de best policy. but in desc days de man who buys watch is supposed to count all de wheels fur hisself. If yo' find dat yo' kin mix a little co'nstarch wid yo'r ice cream an thus save expenses an please de people jest de same yo' will probably do so of yO'r own accord"
 "Yes. sah: I'ze gwine to mix 'em about half an' half" smilingly replied the brother.
 Oats a heap O starch. but mebbe not too much. I doan' know how yo' stand on de matter of chickens. Brud der Watkins. but in removin' to new community it seems to me dat yo' had better go slow. Dat am. doan' let yo'r hankerin' fur chicken git de better of yo'r judgment. Let bacon an codfish satisfy yo' until yo' hev looked around. "Yo' am doubtless awar' of de fact dat de torpedo chicken am an Injianny fnvenshun and dat ober J0.000 of 'em am in use in dat state. In some cases whar de torpedo chicken am in use yo' will find a red chalk mark on de hencoop doah; in odders yo' will take long chances. Make no decided move til yo' have bin in Indianapolis fur at least a month"