Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-12-05
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Does your daughters husband love
her as devotedly as everT' He does
when I'm around" replied her daugh-
ter's husbands neither. in. law, grimIr.
Houston Post.
Fond Mother-My darling, il is bed
time. All the little chickens have gone
to bed. Little Philosopher mann
ma. and so has the old hen.--Woman's
Home Companion
Dis world amt square" growled
little Mickey why notTn asked jim
my. cause the only ones dat get
free peanuts are elephants and police
men. Chicago News.
Anxious Mother-Wnlie, dear, do yoa
ever have any trouble With the other
little boys at school? Willie-Naw!
lick one of em every once in a while,
but that amt the least bit of trouble
Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. A.-Your husband smoking
again! Why, | thought You insisted
that he should give II up. Mrs, "a
did, dear. but then found such prci-
.ty smoking-iack at bargain sale
Chicago Daily News.
Helping His Wife: wife-I have
been thinking | ought TO give yoa a
birthday present, Howard. Husband
Oh, very well. Just write down what
1t shall be, and I'll buy 1t on my way
uptown. Town Topics.
Fsiend-Now that you have made
millions, what Will you do? Old Bull
| lion-I shall retire, and amuse mys,lf
telling pepople what a burden wealth
is, and how happy was when | was
/ poor--New York Weekly.
After the Wedding: But they told
me you had money" "And they bun
coed me into thinking you were rich"
We'll, what's to be done about itY"
Lets fall Ia love just for spite. "-CIR-
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
DO you believe that the American
people like TO be humbugged?" ma.
sir" answered the sturdy patriot.
but when they find anyone smart
enough to do It they can't help takin'
Off their hats TO him. WashingtOs
! Star.
Beyond Expectation: Mr.. Jones-See
| here! This horse you sold me runs UP
Oh the sidewalk every time he sees an
auto Harse Dealer--Well, you don't
expect a fiftydollar horse 60 run up~a
telegraph pole or climb a tree, do yoUs
Judge
Girl in the Grand Stand-lsnt THAI
| cruel game? Do you think It's fair
for dozen men to pile themselves GA
top Of the poor fellow that has the
bali? Her Escort-No; there oughtnI
TO be more than eleven of them, any
way.-Chicago Tribune,
Information: Hello" said the
neighborly bore, what are You build
ing the new chicken house for?"
"Why," replied Nettles, for flock OF
pink carmeIs of course. You didnH
suppose Ia put chickens in it, die
your Philadelphia Public Ledger
Weren't you nervous at the we'd
ding" asked the sympathetic chap
with all those people looking at you1"
Il nervous2" repeated the recent benz
/ diet "Why should / be nervous? No
body looked at me; | was only the
groom, you know. Cincinnati Times
Star
In Kentucky Ascum-i don't know
whether your head over the article
about Colonel Lushmans death was
printed the way you intended, but u
was a good one. city Edtor-Let me
see. What was 1t? Ascum-IIas
fought his last bottlc.--PhlladclphIa
Press
Citiman-What's the matter with all
you Lonesomelunters? Newcomb's .
decent sort OF fellow, and yet You all
appear to hate him Suburbs--No won
der! Ee went and bought his wife q
sealskin coat last week, and our homes
are no longer peaceful Philadelphia
Press.
Mamma, what is Topsy's other
nameY "Topsy in the play? / don't
know, dear; just Topsy, that's all"
"Oh, she has another name. / heard
napa speak II yesterday, but / can't
think Of 1t now Oh, yes, / remember
its Topsy Turyeyr'-Kansas City
Journal.
How did you like DR.. Fourthiy
last Sunday morningf' asked Mrs Old
castle; don't you think no INDUCED
rather freely In mixed metaphorr'
"Goodnessl / didn't notice. Did hS
have 1t right there In the pulpit2 This
will be terrible blow to Josiah. He
thinks so much of the doctor. Chit
cago Record Herald.
The Rule of Three: Zone week from
to-day, Uncle John, l win be a married
man. Yes. in seven short days | via
be Initiated into the mysteries Of mat
rmony." mo mysteries about II, my
boy. it is Just the plain, simple rulo
Of three" rule of three7 Eh--what
three?" "Wlfe. mother-ln-law, and
hired girl. KANSAS City Journal.
'How's your mother?' asked the
neighb0r. Worried TO DEATH" an