The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-08-26
>. SPARKS.
Another Paper on Irrigation.

AADbAcI "a pEL VI AAllkdt4On.
The committee on entertainment begs
herewith 70 submit
An irrigation document as follows thus
tQWit
we have arranged for delegates an irri-
cation scheme
Designed to make their Utah trip a long,
delightful dream.
We have laid in ten watts of rye and a
riVulet of beer.
Enough champagne to float a ship and,
BY way of further cheer
We have Of sir twelve mighty casks and,
straight or in a fizZ.
Each ono who calls can be obliged, he
can have gin in his
OF brandy we have twenty casks but
more we may secure
Should what we have prove not enough
the pressure to endure
For trimming and for fancy drinks we
have a vast supply.
MaNhattans and martins. high balls. port
and rock and rye.
And rum and gum and creme de menthc
and absinthc and sauterne
And ginger ale and lemonade in guam
And curacao and vcrmOuth and ciaret
rich and sherry
And ale and porter too, have We 20 make
the hours merry.
We have the makings and the rules FOR
punches, rickeys, todGieS,
And are well prepared 10 quick reclaim
We understand the cocktail and the fizz
and the suisSeSsC,
The float and iulep and can stir up most
any new-named mess.
in closing we beg % advise taking irri-
cation straight.
But straight or mixed therein be enough
for every delegate
With the city council out Of town
and The prize fighters IL disgrace it
looks as if we would have TO rely on
the board of education Tor all our eX-
element for a while.
If the owner Of Low Dillon could
sell the horse for the amount that has
been expended in trying to make the
two-minute mark the owner would
probably be the richest man alive,
A German imperialist organ. in dis
GUESSING naval affairs. finds that the
American navy is very deficient This
reminds us Of certain comments by
Spanish newspapers prior to May 1,
1898.
Another argument in favor Of ex-
tending car systems through the coun-
try is the circumstance that lately the
holding up of trolley cars is becoming
as popular and general as holding up
trains once was.
Cilt Dl tue dllbIutyS lOI MINE. HUN
bert says that il the prisoner had kept
her mouth closed all hands would have
been acquitted, which, Of course, was
impossible.
From the number of circus trains
that have been wrecked this year it is
apparent that the life Of a circus per-
former is growing more hazardous.
II it is true that ar entire regiment
OF Turks has been aunihilated by in
surgents the sympathy of the commun-
ity will go out to the seven or eight
regiments of widows thereby created
An explanation Of Uncle Russell
Sage's cheerfulness through all the
Wall street trouble may be found in
the fact that he eats two apples for
dinner each day and a bounteous apple
crop insures cheaper apples this win
ter.
Mr.. David Bispham. formerly of
Philadelphia and now OF London. bar
itone singer, has removed TO England
because the United states is mot a
musical center" and the press Of GER
tain eastern cities is disproving Mr..
Bispham's statement by making all
Kinds Of music because his t.knock."
Economists are busy discussing
whether coal or oil is the cheaper fuel.
II. as reported. Mr. Rockefeller lost
$50, O0O.0 coo in Wall street this summer.
the answer is easy and is that oil will
he found the mora oocfIxr