The daily morning journal and courier., 1903-08-20

His wife turned him with an ex- pressiOn of surprise which plainly in- dicated that she did not know what was coming.
 You see the general went on. "be- fore our marriage I had contracted the habit of chewing tobacco, though was rather heater about it than some men are. and managed to conceal the fact from those whom it was likely to offend. During our courtship was especially careful not to let my sweetheart get the least suspicion of it.
 'one evening we attended theater together, and a man seated near us attracted our attention by the un- concealed manner in which he chewed his cud. I confess that the fellows evident enjoyment of the weed made me want chew myself, but if had any vague idea of sneaking little into my mouth it was dispelled when my fianee turned look of mingled disgust and pride uo into my eyes and whispered. Oh, dearest, I am so glad you don't chew!' That moment resolved never to chew again and I kept my resolution for several months.
 But the flesh was weak. About a month after our marriage I fell: and that first taste of tobacco after my long denrivation-I had not even the con- solation os smoker in those days seemed the sweetest morsel that had ever passed my lips. So I bought a little German silver tobacco box, about flan cfz c1a af fnl, ayId eealed it in my hip pocket. excusing myself to my conscience by the ref1ee- tion that it could be no offense to my wife so long as she did not know of it.
 Well, that every evening, when I went home. I threw off my coat and, besore could get into my house coat, she saw the outline of the tobacco box, and asked me what it was. was frightened to stupefaction, so I just stood there, grinning like q sick monkey and saying nothing. She, all unsuspici- ous, came playfully toward me, saying that since wouldn't tell her, she must find her, ske must find out for herself. ThereuCon I turned and ran, laughing. to be sure. but scared to the very soul of me. L
 Upstairs. downstairs, all over the house she chased me, enjoying the lark to the fullest extent, while I kept up such a thinking as had never done before. At last I shot into the kitchen pantry and held the door closed while she pushed against it from the out side. I was now in a tighter fix than ever. I knew I could not hide that tobacco box where she would not find it, and it seemed to me the end of her beautiful trust in me was at hand. Then the sight of some butter chips on a shelf within my reach put a happy idea into my noddle. I transferred the tobacco box to another pocket and put a butter chip in it's place i'll my hip pocket Then gradually let her force the door open, shove me into a corner and draw the chip from the pocket. It was about the size and shape of the to- bacco box, and it fooled her completely.
 :. Silly, said she, what are you car rying that in your pocket for?'
 T put on a fine pretense of guiltiness and said that I had stolen it to keep pins in on my desk at the office She swallowed the story, hook, bait and sinker." y.54.s
 Why, my dear" said his wife, T don't remember thing about It. "a5 sagt a#
 No" the general answered. you wouldn't be likely to, but T did, for was frightened as never before nor since"
 And here had expected the grizzled old warrior to tell me a thrilling story of some hair-breadth escape at the bat tie front!-Brpoklyn Eagle.