The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1903-03-14

Wigg-As a painter do you think ne
will be able to make a name for him.
self? Wagg-He ought to. You see'
he's a sign painter.-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Landlord-I will give you just three
days to pay your rent. Artist-Al
right; suppose you make 1t ThanksglV-
ing, Christmas, and the Fourth OF july
Life.
what is a synonym asked a
teacher. please, SIR said lad. Its
word you can use in place of anoth-
er if you don't know how to spell the
other one"
Interviewer-How do you account
for your love Of music? Drum Major
Well, when me father was young he
was furniture mover, and wan day
pianny fell on him.
"Shure, Oi'm no partisan, Jerry, OF
vote fer the best man." "An' how en-
yez tell which wus TIL best man till
afther tn votes ARE counted, Dim
ny Y-Colorado Springs Gazette.
$50 you had a successful hunting
trip" "Eminently successful We
didn't bring back any game, but no
body was shot by any Of the other
members of the party."-Washington
Star.
Next scholar, spell recipient said
the teacher. Little Elsie did so. "Now
then, what is recipient? That's
what every bride is, cause the news
papers always says o."-Philadelphia
Press.
Biggs-I understand that you lost
money on that chicken-raising expert
ment of yours. Boggs-Yes. l did; but
l expect to get it all back again. I'm
writing a book on how to raise chick
ens.-Judge.
Mae-I got even with Bessie for
snubbing me. Ethel-What did you
do? Mae-I told that young man who
calls on her that she used to be the
best debater in her class at school,
New York Sun.
Newitt-The man who can't take a
little good advice has nobody to blame
for his trouble but himself. Sharpe
Oh! l don't know, he's usually bur-
dened with lot of friends who can't
give it.-Philadelphia Press.
Blotman-So you have read the
whole Of my new story? I'm sure, it's
aWfully good of you. Tyner-Not at
all; did it on the advice of my doc
tor. He said l needed violent exer-
else, you know.-Boston Transcript.
By the Yonkers Route.-"Yes, he
takes a great interest in prison work
He has been familiar with the inside
of so many of them" Indeed! AS a
criminal?" mot. exactly. As an auto
mobilist. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A rural exchange has the following
ON perpetual office seeker:
He's left this world of storm and strife
In spite of all advice
He ran for Office all his life,
And only got there twice!
Atlanta Constitution.
He Cbitterly)-You have no heart
She-What nonsense. He-It's tht
every man you meet She-Then
must have a very large heart to give
! little Of it to so many.-BrooklyI
Eagle.
| Greene-Miss Wilter has brough
D suit against Bifkin for breach of prom
Use, naming her damages at $4,000
Gray-Funny about women! If he hat
married her, she would by this time
perhaps, be telling him that he is abso
lutely worthless.-Boston Transcript.
4 How does it happen you ran so IA
behind your ticket?" they asked him
i II didn't" said the candidate who ha(
escaped defeat by the skin of his teeth
I THAT is an unfair Inference. | 90
: the straight vote. The rest of the tick
e ct simply ran ahead Of me-that's all.
8 Chicago Tribune.
> "Did you say Hiram lost that hun
dred dollars of his In a railway deal? p
Il YES" answered Mrs. Corntossel, "
: didn't know he was a fnancier." "H
amt any. This deal was in a smokiu
car. They started playin' euchre an,
| SAOA C"ALSACN OLA SA AuOLuSE
II Washington Star.
= Briggs-rve got a great idea. Tn
> going to invent an open street car il
- which all the seats are end seats
Griggs-Don't you do 1t. 1t would b
dead failure. 1t is the squeezed an
! sweltering people in the middle VIII
= make the end seats so delightful
T. Boston Transcript.
Il 'But If you love me, Madeline, VIII
NJ set the happy day two years away?
d. The maiden bowed her head in blush
u ing confession. Because, Horace.
will take me fully that long to use u
l. my monogram stationery" For 70
'r can't get letter paper embossed unles
lie you buy lot Of it.-Newark News.
le yah, there" angrily exclaimed sa,
y mold Storey, who had curled himsel
y up and gone to sleep on the sunny sid
u u of an ash barrel in the alley. "Wot v
IL pokin' me thataway furT "Oxcus
Is me- blease," said the ragpicker, drot
IN ping his iron hook in astonishman
1t Il It'd not know dere vos a man insid
IKE AT dam Sp-- Thfoo