The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-08-07
6be Economical Pirate.
1N,N NNI0NAANNNNNANlN, VNNNNAN
By CHARLES dLEId.

own words, emitting his lurid mari
time eXplicatives:
In these days of keen competition"
said Uncle Jonah. ITS no sort of good,
my lad, trying to run a pirate craft on
old fashioned lines A hundred years
ago, or maybe, fifty, one could afford
to ship q strong crew and give the men
a fair percentage of the profits; but
nowadays there's the stokers and en-.
gineers to settle with, the coal bills
something awful. and you must employ
a few trained gunners besides. Steam's
played Old Harry with piracy, and
spilled the slave trade. To start with.
there's the cost of the plant. Eighty
years ago they could build a wooden
line of battle ship for 100, 900 quid; now
you can't buy a 40O-ton steam yacht at
the figure. Well, needn't go into de-
tails, and there isn't time, but even a
land lubber can see that only million.
aires can run a pirate on their own"
Then how did you get the money to
flt out your ship" | asked.
Uncle Jonah winked and spat skill
fully into the corner Of the cell. "The
Falcon was run by a syndicate of Ger
mans" he said, "and my instructions
was to attack nothin but British ships.
II l knew the names of the sharehold-
ers I'd give em to you, but they al
ways paid my salary through an
agent"
What did you earn, Uncle?"
asked.
Two hundred guild a montl and
percent commission" he replied The
first mate was to get a hundred" he
added, "and the seamen and stokers
six quid a week"
Then the wages bill must have been
very heavy" I suggested.
That's where you're wrong, James"
said my uncle. in the old fashioned
way Of business the Falcon would have
wanted a crew of about so hands, and
the company wouldn't have paid 10
percent unless we'd captured mail
steamer or two every month. AS |
said just now, modern pirates got
to be run on economical lines, so the
stingy directors only allowed me doz-
en- hands, including the cook, who was
under contract to fight as we'll as
stew"
"a dozen hands!" l echoed, incredu-
lousy.
! THE rest was dummies" growled
Uncle Jonah, mechanical dummies,
my boy, made in Germany" he added,
cynically like the war Office field
guns"
Il can't see how you can construct
a fighting dummy" l objected, "else
our war Office would have adopted the
patent"
"These didn't fight" said Uncle Jo-
nah. They was only meant to frigh-
ten the passengers of the mails we
! stopped. Ever seen the innards of a
! Waterbury watch?"
| nodded.
well these dummies were worked
on much the same lines. Their in
nards was chock-a-block with long
! steel springs, James, and the wigs
and boards made EN- look as fierce as
If they was fed on raw beef. Some of
EN- could do the cutlass exercise, 9TH
ers used to walk up and down the deck
Oh rails, and one used to lean over the
fo'c'sle rail and spit as natural as life.
The works was fitted to go for two
hours; after that you had to wind EN-
up afresh.
1--WE had so of them German dunn
mics, continued Uncle Jonah, and If
you'd seen en- half a cable away you'd
have taken your davy they was as
'uman as any other pirates. I believed
in the beggars myself, James; that's
where l made my bloomin' error"
l wrung his hand in silent sympathy
and resumed my notes.
In bad weather" continued Uncle
Jonah, 1--WE had to keep tarpaulin COW
ers over EN-, unless we sighted a
prize; and when we got into the trop-
les some of the faces, which was made
of compo began to melt."F
THAT was awkward, l continued.
NO we carried a few spare faces
and shifted the old 'Uns. There's many
a human man'd be glad to ave bis
face shifted the same and wimmin
too, for the matter Of that. knew a
+ gal once in Liverpool, whose face
+ Well, never MAD about that, " he broke
/ Of; "wimnin amt likely to trouble