The Wichita daily eagle., 1903-08-09
DIPLOMACY OF
\ SIR THOMAS
How Upton Got Himself Out
of a Very Bad Scrape,
WAS JUDGE OF BEAUTY
But the Girls Were So Pretty
That lie Couldn't Decide.
WAS JUDGE OF BEAUTY

TWEEN two young American girls. The
contest between two theatrical companies,
who put forw ard their respective cham
pionS for Sir Thomas Lipton's inspection
1t lis cerlaiIt that he has failed utterly
in ltis Official capacity. lie has appar-
entity fallen a victim to the charms OF
both and. " hile the photogE apis of tbs
TWO beauty candidates remain under his
Eyeglasses, Sir Thomas, to all appear
ahces. is ,ptsmeTized into driveiling serv-
i5ude.
The twp young women are:
Miss Ro &c Earle, a charming mite OF
ga girl. a nember of the Punch, judy &
Company" show at Hammerstein's Root
Garden. and
Miss Marian Falconer, who was chosen
by the hst of The Runaways" at the
Casino as their representative in the
beat'y contest.
The two champions were not chosen
witho' it much ceremony and tribulstion.
1t is 40 light matter to choose the pret-
uest Of score Of pretty girls, especially
when. the choice devolyes upon the girls
then selves.
An4 average man can walk right into q
bunch and pick one od. without much
A mole on TIE neck. OF d pimple upon
a reuousse and otherwise Perfect nrse.
" hich would not be noticed by a man.
as been known to spoil an asprant's s
hances, where women were the judges.
There were exciting times therefore
when it becam known that a champion
beauty was TO be selected from either
company and that Sir Thomas was to
decide upon their merits.
Long before the candidates had been
agreed upon he had been asked to officiate
as referee. Possibly not understanding
the peril he was running. into Sir Thomas
answered chivalrously as follows:
/ have received today your kind letter
of 18th inst. and while l feel highly hon
ored at being selected as final judge be-
tween the young ladies representing Tine
Runaways," and Punch. Judy & Com
pany," still l think it is hardly fair to
put such a heavy responsibility upon my
shc.tlSera. NTo,s@-ti~I--- ss 7---sll -
the greatest pleasure to comply with
yodr request, but as / am told that all
the girls in both companies are Ve,.-
pretty, i am afraid it viii be a very diff
ticluit matter to decide. However. you
miay rest assured that will give a fair
and unbiased judgment Your faithfully,
THOMAS J. Upton.
Immediately upon receipt of this letter
tine rival feminine clans gathered Tor a
ballot. Such fxings and fuIbelows com
patible with style and good taste were
probably never seen before.
In the cast of The Runaways" the
chief candidates were Miss Violet Pearl,
whose name alone suggests beauty, cots
by the sea. messy dels and babblng
brooks; Miss Jean Collins. who was look
ed upon as a probable winner, and Mir
lam Falconer who wanted TO win the
prize for the sake of her roommate, who
was ill.,
1t is said that the scene shifters tried
to stuff the ballot box in favor of their
various candidates, but the scheme failed
to work, and the vote was honestly taken.
When the vote was counted it was found
that Miriam Falconer had polied forty
five votes. and that Miss Jean Collins,
her nearest rival had twenty-four Mss
Violet Pearl had fourteen. while various
members of the company had the rest.
When the result of the vote became
known Miss Collins walked right up and
kissed Miss Falconer on the end of her
nose and called her "a dear Another
member OF the company was sure that
Miss Falconer justly deserved it on ac-
count of her roommate. but Miss Falconer
only smiled dreamily and said nothing.
Miss Rose Earle won the contest hands
down in the Punch, Judy < Co" bal
lot. She had twenty-seven votes out of
q possible forty-two, and had Miss An
gle weinan with six votes. as her nearest
competitor. Miss Kittie ODonohune
scored three. and six were scattering.
Pooh / don't care exclaimed one
of the scattered ones; there are some
people in this show that would take prizes
in contest for freshness. too. 1 don't
see where they come in
:, Here were the two feminine knights of
the tournament Not booted and spurred.
but laced and bejewelled and photograph
ed for the fray.
But evidently the doughty Irish knight
down the bay had been thinking upon
the matter. and a great fear had fallen
upon him. What if he should declare
Miss Earle the victor? Would not the
wrath OF the friends Of Miss FaIconer
fall upon his hcad2 If he should award
the prize to Miss Falconer. would not
Miss Earle adherents rise in wrath and
smite him verbally?
Before he received the photographs
therefore. he stipulated that they should
be nameless This in sense would sim
plify matters. IS he could not then be
accused OF partality.
But the troubles Of Sir Thomas Upton
were not ended by any means. He re-
ceived the photographs he put on his
glasses and sazed upon them ana was
stricken. He became = mumblinA and
muttering referee. sans Judgment. sars
everything in the way OF judicial acu-
men. he took a turn o. two around the
bianaele. gszed at the SKY .twi5dled his
thumbs and looked at the pictures again.
The result was the same. Sir Thomas
was done for.
In sheer desperation he grabbed his
pen and dashed of the following letter.
Steam Yacht Erin. of Sandy Hook n. Y
July 2S. 1893
Dear Ladies: 1 have received tha vari-
Gus photosraphs representing the two
young ladies from Punch. Judy & Co"
and '-The Runaways" When I agreed
TO act as judce 1 did not realize the
difficulties OF the position. and Solomon
himself might well hesitate at such re-
sponsibility.
II Is impossible for me to arrive at a
d~rfsso-l as 70 which Is the more beautf- |