The Lamar register., 1903-06-24

country newspaper acquaintance
of ours is in n bad way! He Is in
disfavor with his wife, Time was
when he longed for her coming, and:
He knew whose gentle hand was at the
Before the door had given her TO his
eyes"
But now! How different! 1t all came
about in this wise:
Happy as two young kids chewing
the leg off pair of red-flannel under
breeches, they went to the theater to-
gether 1t was good play. The devil
was devilish, the hero was brave, the
heroine sweet unto madness! The
music, too, was enhancing. and they
buried beneath sweet concord OF
sounds their passing sorrows!
And then Mephisto butted in!
1t was after the theater. The editor
remembered something at the office
undone. She sweetly offered to ac-
company him. although the hour was
late.
Passing a place of business. an un-
expected friend called the newspaper
scribe.
60 in moment" graciously sug-
gested the wife. II will walk on TO the
Hotel II and wait a moment for
you!"
The friend was pleased to see a
friend. They chatted until the pub
Usher feared his wife might grow i'm
patient! Stepping to the telephone he
called the hotel and asked the clerk
to apprise the madame he would be
with he- Immediately.
"Tinga-ling," rang the telephone
bell in moment. She isn't here.
came back over the wire!
well. she is trump to walk home
alone at midnight. but | might as well
stay a while. She won't be any
angrier a half hour from now" and
thus Joking, the married man talked
on!
After time he sauntered home
leisurely, quickening his steps as an
unexpected cloud shed rain. Once at
home he turned on the light and read
the evening paper half hour. then
mounted the stairway to his couch.
Heavens, no wife!
Where had she gone? Rushing
madly about the house. he found her
not. Outside the rain fell faster.
faster! Grasping an umbrella. he hur-
ried through the flood to find the
sweet companion of his bosom!
He found her three blocks away
coming, coming through the rain. wet,
angry, hurt. frightened!
When he spoke she listened not, but
scorned him with outrageous mien.
Words failed to reach her ears. her
eyes were filled with tears-and sadly
the man followed in her wake. won
dering, sorrowing. mute and helpless!
She did not speak to him that night
except, for one brief word, and that
was: "WRETCH."
She is a good wife and he loves
her dearly, but how under this blue
canopy will he ever induce her to be-
lieve that the clerk made mistake
and he did not really and truly forget
her?
Those who have been married long
time, please write.
No sooner has President Elit
succeeded in increasing the sale of
Mother Hubbard dresses in our domes-
tic circles, than DR.. Hills arises in his
white cravat and tells us I'VE all go
to the devil on $4,000 year"
Chauncey Depew, brave man that
he is, comes to the rescue with re-
sounding denial. He says a man who
has the disposition will go to the devil
ANYHOW, whether he has an income OF
$4,000 or $50.000.
This Is more like it, but what about
us common people who only have an
income of $4,000? Is there no possible
chance for us to distinguish ourselves?
Time was when a man could go to
the devil at any price, but one by one
the perquisites of life. liberty and the
pursuit of happiness seem to be oblit-
Grated by the truly rich. We once
knew young fellow who combed his
hair low over his forehead. wore red
necktie. and went to the devil without
a cent in his pocket. If he had waited
until possessed of De- Hills $4,000.
or Senator Depew's 100000, he would
never have stolen six pair of left-hand'
ed cowhides and been sent to dun
colored jail to recuperate! we nave
known for some time that the young
man of to-day must have at least Son.
900 to marry a society bud, but this
is the first intimation that 1t takes
$4,000 to go to DR.. Hills deyils
house or $4,000 to the abode of the
devil over whom Mr.. Depev has juris-
diction The possibilities for young
unmarried men seem to be narrowing.
AA
Some men go through life with
big stick, but they do not follow
President Roosevelt's advice to speak
softly. They are remembered after
death, not for their virtues. but by
the scars and iconoclasm of their un-
gentle natures. Herbert speaking of
the bee, says:
Bees work for man, and yet they never
bruise
Their Masters flower. but leave it hav-
ing done.
As fair as ever and as fit to use:
So both the flower doth stay and honey
run"
What a lesson of gentleness and
purity is here for men. The world is
his flower garden and he may pass
through it like the bee, slipping its
sweets, leaving 1t chaste behind him
as he travels, or he may carry big