davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15
Retorts That Made the Reputation q
Their Uttere-s

tVtSI 10 tuoA Md00 Ito reputation q
Their Utterers.
Historic retorts almost invariably
illustrate the quickness which is es-
sentlal to the success Of this species
OF wit. Jekyll was as famous at the
bar as was Dunning for his brilliant
repartee. Hearing that very empty
headed person had gone to Greece, he
quoted at once, ITO the Greeks, fool
ishness. James Smith, joint author
with his brother Horace Of Rejected
Addresses" being challenged. for
motto on rocks and crows, responded
Instantly with the line, "The cause,
NY soul, the cause" To Charles Lamb
Henry Crabb Robinson, lawyer and de-
hghtful companion, was speaking of
his first brief when Lamb said to him,
Did you not exclaim, Thou first
great cause. least UNDERSTOOD ;"
When Alfred Tennyson appeared In
the Oxford theater to receive his D. c.
4. degree his disheveled hair and gen.
orally negligent state provoked the
undergraduates into greeting him
with the inquiry, did your mother
call your early, call you early, Alfred
dear?" Sydney Smith perhaps de-
spised pet dogs as heartily as do some
OF us, and this may have given the
sting to his answer to the lady who
begged from him a motto for her
poodle, Spot" "Out, damned Spot!"
was his suggestion, and it was no
doubt too near the truth to be adopted.
Nashville American.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

The man from Philadelphia who was
sending a registered letter from the
New York postofflce last week was
astonished when the man at the win
dow pushed it back to him, and told
him to write "Pa." on the envelope.
There are twenty-five Philadelphias
IN this country he said. and some Of
them are places of Importance. A
woman from Philadelphia, KY, was
much offended the other day when I
asked her II she intended letter for
the Pennsylvania Philadelphia. We
have great deal Of trouble In this
way with Philadelphia (Penn.) per-
sons. But there are others. Brook
lynitss are almost as bad. There are
az many Brooklyns In the United
States as there are Philadelphia. but
very few persons who live in the
borough across the bridge know IT..
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

H. NJ G. Vedder, vice president OF
the Account, Audit and Assurance
company, took out his watch the other
day and found that the handspring
was broken. He went into the near.
est jewelers., who was stranger to
him. and was told that he would have
to leave the timepiece for about Q
week.
Il wish you would loan me one to
carry said Mr.. Vedder, for I am lost
without It,"
YES" replied the jeweler, quickly,
"but il loaned you one you might
get lost with it."
The jeweler was 50 pleased with
his own wit that he loaned his Gus,
toner good watch.-Ne York
Times.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15
Rarest She'll IN Existence.

The rarest shell In existence Is one
called the Gone Of the Holy Mary"
There is specimen in the British nu.
scum. which few years ago was val
uei at $1,000.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15
New England Fish Harvest.

The total harvest of sea fish sold at
Gloucester and Boston, which are the
principal markets, during the past
year. officially reported. amounted to
162,218,92l pounds. worth $4,3S5,1O2,
Of which the Newfoundland banks pro-
duced more than 100000 pounds,
while the grounds off the New Eng
land coast yielded nearly $1,000. 0Oc
hounds
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

Museums are much in favor in Russia.
Even in Siberia nearly every town OF
10000 inhabitants has one.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

Hope should always be supplied with q
parachute to let man down easy.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken OF
Rs cough cure.-J. w. O'REIEN, a22 Third
Avenue, r., Mmneapolis, MINI. Jan. 6. 1907
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

Mrs. Winslow's SoothingSyrup for children
teething soften the guras, reduces inHamma
ton, allay5 pain, cures wind cola 25c a bottle
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

FITSpermanently cured. No fits or nervous
ness after first Gay use of DR.. Kline's Great
NerveEestorer. #2 trial bottleand treatise free
DIR. Z. II. KLINE, Ltd. 931 Arch St. PhiIa. Pa.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15
uow's This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward tor
any case OF Catarrh tina: cannot be cured by
Halls Catarrh Cure.
I. J. CHENEY l. Co., Props, Toledo, O.
We, the undersigned, have knownF. J. Che
ney for the last 10 years, and believe him per-
tectly honorable in ill business transactions
and financially able to carry out any obliga-
ton made by their firm.
WEST Il TRUAx, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo,
Ohio.
WALDINa, K1NSAN& MARVIN, Wholesale Drug
gists, Toledo, Ohio.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces OF the system. Price, 75c. per bottle.
Sold by all Druggists. Testimonials free.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

+ Footprints IN the sanda OF time will be
out OF date when we get aerial navigation
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

Old Sofas, Backs of Chairs, etc, can be
dyed with PUTNAM FADKLEss Dyes.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15
STORIES OF READY WIT.

When q man pays as he goes he always
sets welcome back.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

A man might be happy in having
money to give away and yet not grow
cohceited about it.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

When tears do not avail woman she
wishes she were a man and could swear.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

It sometimes happens that the
grumpy doctor has the most patients.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15
lnoraaecd IL. - cok>

increased uso Of Coke.
Coke, = byproduct In the manufac-
ture OF gas. has increased 200 per cent
in price in five years.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-01-15

In order to deepen the River Thames, in
England. the conservators have determined
to expend sum of $4,000 on dredging the
river.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
FOR STATE CONVENTION.
FINAL ARRANGEMENT BEING
MADE BY LOCAL LODGE.
The Grand Lodge WIN Convene ia This
city ON Monday, sept. and Remain
in:session for Two Days.

The local lodge of the Junior Order
United American Mechanics are max
ing the final arrangements for the
State Council which will convene in
this city on Tuesday, September s.,
and they are doing all in their power
to make the visit of their brothers a
very pleasant one and one long 20 be
remembered by the delegates. This
is the first convention of this order
that has been held in this CITY ana
was selected at at New Martins
Vile last September. There will be
delegations from all of the 1873 coun-
ellis in the state and the local lodge ex-
poets that there will be about 100 Wis
itors to this CITY during the council.
While here they will not ONLY meet
on business of the lodge in the conyen-
ton hall. but will be entertained IN
different ways by the local lodge. On
Tuesday afternoon they will be taken
through all of the business instltu-
tions, consisting of thu mills and fac-
tories, in this CITY This will be sure
to interest them as most OF the visitors
will be mechanics of branches OF fhe
different trades, who are always glad
TO visit the industries of any place
where they visit. The members OF the
local lodge have been successful III
getting the consent of all OF the super
intendents of the institutions to allow
them to visit their places.
The local lodge is arranging with
the City and Comrey bands for con-
cert in the pavilion in the square on
tie evening of the 8th, while, the Wis
itors are here. The City band will
play from 7 to O'Clock and the Com
rev from s TO O'Clock. After the
concert the visitors will be conducted
to the Central Opera House hall,
where a banquet will be served and
from all reports it will be grand
affair. During the banquet Thompson s
orchestra of 10 pieces will render a
choice program.
Nest of the delegates will arrive on
Monday morning over the Baltimore
and Ohio railroad and the remainder
will arrive Oh Tuesday morning. Al
though some OF the entertainments
that are generally given at conyen-
tions have been cut from the program,
the members of the local lodge are do
ing their psst to make it one of the
most prominent councils that has been
held in recent years.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
FAIR At MORGAN'S GROVE
Nineteenth' Annual Exhibition Was
in Full Swing.
TOURNEY HELD WEDNESDAY
List Of Knights Who Carried OFF HOuors-
Thursday Was the Banner Day Of the
Waek

The nineteenth annual exhibition of
the Morgan's Grove Fair Association
is in progress under most favorable
circumstances. The beautiful grove
in which the fair is held is lovelier
than ever before. The buildings have
all been renovated, many improve
mems have been made. and the ground
are in excellent condition.
One of the attractions OF the place is
the picturesque ruin of the fine old
mansion of the late. Col. a. Il. Beet
Ter, which was burned during the civil
war by order of General Hunter. Its
ancient walls are covered with Vir-
ginia creeper, and all visitors are in
terested in it.
The fair is M to its usual standard
of excellence, and all the departments
are well filled. The agricultural build
ing has some magnificent specimens
In the ladies department there is a
bewildering array of needle work,
paintings, etc.
The event of most interest yesterday
was the tournament managed by H..
Francis Staub, of Inwood. The charge
to the Rights was an eloquent address
by William H. Wilson, of Charles
Town, and the coronation address
was delivered in happy style by Arthur
Pierce, of Shepherdstown. The sue
cessful knights were L.. S. Love. who
crowned Miss Hattie Louise Marshall,
queen of love and beauty; Louis
Brosene, who crowned Miss jamie
Strider first maid of honor; r. H.
Hoffman, who crowned Miss Bessie
CIohan second maid of honor: W. H..
Harron. who crowned Miss Mary NJ.
Van Meter third maid of honor u.
Seibel, who crowned Miss Euna Hen
bricks fourth maid of honor, and G..
HI. johnson, who crowned Miss Vir-
ginia Kitchen fifth maid of honor.
Although there were only eight
tickets sold over the railroad to Shep-
herdstown this morning, the attend
ance from this place will be large
Every available vehicle inMa rtinsburg
was pressed into service, and the road
between here and the grove was dotted
all day with those who drove to the
fair
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
RUN DOWN BY ENGINE.
mn. JACOB =. ROVER KILLED AT
G. V. CROSSING TuEsDAY.
Was on HIS Way 20 This city 10 visit
Hts SON when He was STRUCK
Body Terribly mangied.

Jacob s. Roger, father Of Mr. S.
". Rover of this city. well-known
retired farmer, who makes his home
with his son.in-law, David Long,
along the townsville pike, three miles
from Hagerstown. was struck by B.
q O. engine at Bower crossing along
the Q. Y. r.. r.. one mile from Half
way. at 10 80 O'Clock Tuesday morn
ing and instantly killed. His body
was terribly mutilated. His head was
crushed and cut and one leg was cut
Oft.
MIR. Rover LETT the home of his SON.
in-law Tuesday morning to drive to
this city to visit his son. He was verv
deaf. aud it is supposed drove on the
track without hearing the engine.
which was backing down the track
toward him. Neither the fireman nor
engineman saw the team in time to
stop.
The buggy was upset and crushed
almost into shreds and Mr.. Roger was
carried under the engine. which
passed over him. He was dead when
picked up and his body presented a
horrible sight in Its mangled condition.
The horse was not injured
The engine was running about ff-
teen miles an hour when it struck Mr..
Rover. The engineman SAYS he did
not see the buggy until he was with
in 100 feet of it. He reversed the en-
CINE and applied the brakes, but the dis
lance was too short in which to stop.
The body was taken Thursday even
ing to Berrysille where interment was
made Friday morning. Elder w. s.
Reichard conducted the services.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
MOB AT WINCHESTER.
Hot headed Young Men Create serious
Disturbance

Tuesday at Winchester new turn
was given the Haymaker assault case,
on which Shack johnson, a negro
tongh, narrowly escaped lynching.
when number of young white men
were arrested on complaint of Mollie
Smith, colored. charged with break
ing into her house and firing off re-
volyers. 1t was learned that John
sons accomplice, Harry Johnson, was
in hiding there. The police endeayor-
ed to locate him and searching parties
of young men were formed. A report
was spread that the negro was at the
Smith woman's house, and an attack
was made on the place, but johnson
had escaped. If johnson had been
found he would undoubtedly have
been lvnched on the spot. The men,
bers of the crowd who were arrested
were discharged in the police court.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
STREET BEING REPAIRED.
virginia Avenue is Undergoing Repairs
Under supervision Of Council.

q
Virginia avenue between South ana
Addition streets is being greatly i'm
proved by the council and it will IN
the near future present citvhed APP
pearance and not look like an unat-
tended street in the suburban district.
The street in the past has been with
out grade and has been full OF holes
aud was disgrace to the city.
The matter WAS brought to the mo-
tice of the council and it was ordered
that il be repaired At present two
teams are at work hauling stone to I'LL
up the holes and to macadamize the
street.
Since the council has taken hand
property owners are now improving
their property by placing pavements. In
the past there has been no Davements
in that section but now there have
been four laid and others are TO fol-
low. Pavements that have been laid
are in front of the properties OF Ed
ward Hollis, Mrs. Rebecca Bremen.
DR.. S. N. Myers and Taylor Newton
The contract has been let for num-
Der of other pavements and it will not
be long now before all of the proper
ties in that block will have payements.
This will surely be great improve
ment to the property as well as the APP
pearance of the CITY in that section.
The residents are now endeavoring to
get more lights in that section and the
matter will likely be considered at
the council meeting.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
PRETTY CHURCH WEDDING
Miss Mamie Blue Becomes Bride
Of Mr.. W. F, McAneny.
TOOK PLACE WEDNESDAY NIGHT
Witnessed by Throng of Friends Of the
Young Couple-Leaye for Western

Wednesday at the Methodist Episco-
pal chruch South, occurred the mar
riage of Miss Mamie Blue. daughter
Of Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Blue, OF West
Race street, to Mr.. William f. Nee
Anenv. well-known young business
man of this city.
The wedding, which was a very
pretty one was attended by large
number of invited guests. Tie church
was tastefully decorated with potted
plants aud flowers, and presented a
splendid scene during the impressive
ceremony.
The bride was beautifully gowned
in white eolienne and carried a shower
bouquet of roses.
Miss Margaret Blue, sister Of the
bride, was maid of honor. She was
becomingly gowned in white and car
ried a bouquet of roses. Little Miss
Maud Wiley, neice of the bride, acted
as the flower GIRL
The groom. dressed in the conven.
|
tional black, was attended bv his best
man, Mr.. p. E. Dsatrick. The ushers
were Mr.. P. W. Letter, Mr.. E. r..
Sigler. Mr.. II. NJ. Grove and Mr.. w.
l.. Gaff.
Miss Emma Staley presided at the
organ and PLAYED the wedding march
from 81 .ohenQrinD as the bridal partv
advanced up the aisle. MIR. Harvey
Wiley softly sang the Flower Song"
during the ceremony. which was per-
formed by Rev O. ID. Harris, pastor
of Trinity church.
The newly welded couple afterward
left on No. over the Baltimore &
Ohio railroad for two-w weeks tour OF
western cities. and after their return
they will be at home to their friends
in this city.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
DROWNED IN POTOMAC.
HARVEY SMITH MEETS DEATH
NEAR FALLING WATERS.
Was on Fishing Trip when Taken
With Cramps--An Employe of
c. ". Road

Harvey Smith was drowned in the
Potomac river near Falling Waters
"Wednesday afternoon.
Smith and his brother-in law, Sol
ONION Snuff, were on the Virginia
shore fishing when Smith took off his
clothes TO wade out to the hshpot.
he had nearly reached the middle OF
the stream when Snuff saw him being
washed down stream. Shutf started
to his assistance, but before he reach
ed him Smith had sunk out of sight
and did not come mp again. 1t is be.
lieved Smith was seized with cramps.
as he claimed to be good swimmer.
The body has not been recovered.
Smith was employed as section hand
on the Cumberland Valley Railroad.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
HOURS Ar eosToFFIcE.

The postoffice officials announce that
there will be but one general delivery
in the city on Labor day (iionday
next, that being in the morning. The
postoffice will be closed from 10 a. m.
until 7 D. m
All the banks will suspend business
on that day. Otherwise there will be
no observance in this city.
Hagerstown win celebrate the dav.
The central labor union will give 8
demonstration. Business there will
be in measure suspended.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05

The Potomac river is again getting
clear. and will be in good condition
for fishing bv the first Of next week.
Several fishing parties are projected
from this city, and some wierd tales
NAV be expected when the anglers get
their imaginations in good working
order again.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
QUIETLY Welded.

The marriage of Miss jamie r. Eve.
hart, daughter of Mr.. and Mrs Charles
Everhart. and Mr. William X. Kee-
seeker. Of this county, was solemnized
at the parsonags of the United Breth-
rem church Wednesday evening at 8
O'Clock. Rev J.. ID. Donovan, the
pastor, performed the ceremony in the
presence of few friends of the con-
tracing parties. The young couple
will reside in this county, where tnev
are well-known.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
WILL BIC HOME SUNDAY.

Rev. and Mrs. John 8. Douglas
who have been absent from Martins
burg for sevreal weeks. will return
home on FRIDAY or Saturday. Rev.
Douglas will conduct the usual ser
vices in Trinity Episcopal church OF
Sunday.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
RAND CONCERT POSTPONED.

There was no concert by the CITY
band in the square Friday night,
it having been postponed until Tues
day evening Of next week. in compli-
ment to the visiting members OF the
Jr O. U. A. NJ, who will be in this
city at that time. The concert will
begin at and close at 8 O'Clock. An
especially fine program will be rem
dered.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
mn. DARBY vIs,rs rns FAM.

Cashier A. ID. Darby was at the Nor
IN Grove fair Thursday. While the :
he made critical inspection of the
Poland China cows and Shropshire
horses. He thought the pumpkins
were very fine this year, but some OF
the cucumbers seemed TO have had the
warts rubbed off by too rapid growtq
of the vines.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
COTER|E OF MUSICIANS
Famous Martinsburg Artists Pose
for an Effective Photograph.
IMPOSING ARRAY OF TALENT
Brings Forth Some Causiic Observations
from a Distinguished but Slightly
Enylous Critic.

Mr.. M. A. Snodgrass IL the possess.
or OF photograph which is remark
able ono in many respects In tho
| first place. 10 is splendid specimen
OF the photographers art. and in the
second, il is striking likeness Of the
members of the Odenville club, uroba.
bly, the most gifted and accomplished
coterie Of musicians in this section OF
West Virginia. The photograph was
taken while the well.kown gentlemen
were on their summer outing at the
cottage of Mr.. A. Oden, about three
miles east of Martinsburg. and reached
this city Tuesday
In the picture are p. II. Harrison.
Colonel King, Or. McSherrv. Stuart
w. Wa ker and John t.. Boyd. all sit
ting in dignified and imposing array
across the Immediate foreground. In
the background, immediately in the
rear OF the aforementioned gentle
men, stands the leader OF the orches-
ira. M. A. Snodcrass. who Yields the
baton SO gracefully and effectively.
To the left OF Mr.. Snod0rass stands
the modest figure Of Mr. Oden, empty
handed and apparently awed bv the
genius and talent with which he il
surrounded.
On the left sits Mr.. Harrison, violin
in hand His complete mastery OF
this well-known instrument Of torture
is apparent at glance by the non.
chalant and uasv manner which he
handles it. aud ut the same time coolly
smokes cigar. The fact that she
holds the violin on his forearm and ii
saving it across the neck Ill no way
detracts from the effectiveness OF the
/ pose.
Colonel King occupies the chair next
the first violinist. His special instru-
ment is a large-sized and abls-bodied
guitar. which he handles with the ali
OF an expert. Next is the benevolent
features of DIR. McSherry, who clasps
his favorite banjo.
Stuart Walker Is the banjo soloist
Of the organizations. and is never SO
happy MS when singing the sweet mel
odies of the southland to the accom-
paniment of his twan0ing instrument.
DIR. Myers alleges that the concord
of sweet sounds which he vanks from
the strings would steel the heart Of
the most docile witness. aud cause him
to perjure himself without further
provocation. DR.. Myers also saws
some other caustic things about Mr..
Walkers banjo playing, but it is pos
sible that the learned physician. who
plays only an ordinary 'cello. might
be just bit envious of Mr.. Walkers
ability with the king of Instruments
John Z. Bovd occupies the extreme
right of the line. In looks he is the
epitome OF the musical wisdom of all
the ages. and holds his flute as il IL
readiness to prove tue assertion.
The most remarkable thing about
the photograph, however is the fac
tina Mr.. Oden. who is the Only maj
in the party who would know nots
of music II he saw one, and who play
all the instruments in the picture
stands modestly in the background
empty handed and alone.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
RENDERED DECISION.

Tuesday Justice Roberts rendered
his decision in the case of Edward and
Harland Rudy for assault on James
Bremen. which was heard before him
Monday evening. He gave the evil
dence consideration and as result
found Harland Rudy guilty of assault
and fined him IS and to paw half OF
the cost of the case. The fine OF Ed
ward was suspended but he paying the
other nalf of the cost.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05

A marriage license was issued at
the Office OF the clerk Of the countv
court to Mr.. William r. Keesecker
and Miss jamie r. Everhart, both res
idents OF this county. The marriage
occurred IN this city Wedne sday.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1903-09-05
ANOTHER APPLICANT JOINS
The FraternaI Eystie Circle at Their
Meeting wednesday Night.


At the regular semi-monthly meet
ing of the Fraternal Mystic Circle,
which was held in their lodge room In
the PEOPLES Trust company build
ing Wednesday at 8 O'Clock. there was
another applicant initiated. Two
others made application but they will
not be taken in until the next meeting
by which time the degree team is ex-
pected to be on the floor.
The order will hold lawn fete in
tile lawn in front of the residence OF
DIR. McCune. on the corner of John
and Raleigh streets, on Monday eve
ming, September 4. Comrey's band
will be in attendance.