The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-03-22
INFLUENCES THAT LED A THIRSTY
MAN TO THE WATER WAGON.
of n Night Spent I'm a Family Tomb
at Louisville.
New York Press.

lOIiHeu
II used to drink pretty heavily" he said,
''and so did my partner, Job Wiltsee. Job
drank a good deal more than did. 1 had
known for some time that if 1 ever expected
to make any Roadway in my trade 1 would
have to shake Job, but somehow / liked the
fellow and so stuck to him till that expert
ence in the Louisville cemetery. 1 had to
give Job the go-by after that.
I'VE were sent out to the cemetery to un-
lock the Wilson family burial vault. Mat
thew Wilson was dead, and, of course, he
had to be buried, which seemed easy
enough; but he had left word he wanted to
be buried in the family vault, which was
not so easy. The vault hadn't been opened
for thirty years, and it looked as if it
wouldn't be opened for thirty years more.
Keys had been lost, iron had rusted, and
screws and bolts had grown into the very
walls. The Wilson's tried their best to
move them, and the cemetery employees
tried their best, and then they sent for Job
and me to see what we could do. We
worked for half day without any better
luck.
IF we were in the vault said Job at
last, we'd stand some show. Most of the
works are on the inside of the door, and If
We We're in there We could get at them
better
Neither of us was anxious to make the
experiment from that point of attack, but
as that seemed the only way of forcing the
lock, We finally decided L should try it.
The job was assigned to me because OF my
| size. l was thin in those days, and We be-
lieved it possible for me to squeeze through
| the grilled transom above the door. The
| grill work of the transom was badly rust
| ed and was cut away without much diff
Guilty. The space thus afforded for an en-
| trance was pretty small, but / held my
| breath and wriggled through.
THE door was not high, and / had fig
ured out could drop to the floor in safety;
| but in so calculating 1 had failed to take
| into account the construction of the In
terror of the vault. It's floor instead of be-
| ing built on a level with the ground outside,
as had supposed it to be, had been sunk
| to a depth of about six feet and was
reached by flight of steps inside the tomb.
| These steps were wood. They had become
| worm-eaten and rotten in thirty years, and
when 1 struck them in my descent from the
| transom they gave way and let me down
| some six feet farther than 1 had counted
| on falling.
| II was pretty badly shaken up by the
| tumble, but l was not really hurt, and as
soon 1 could pull myself together be-
| gan TO plan some way of reaching up to the
| lock on the door. That proved to be hard
| job. The vault was bare of everything ex-
| cept collins. After my experience with the
| WORKOUT steps / was afraid to try to stand
| on collins, so there was nothing for me TO
| do but to hang around down there in the
| vault while Job went back to the keepers
/
through the transom. Just before he start
/ ed Job looked at his watch and called down
| to me that it was o'clock.
| "I'll be back in twenty minutes or half
| an hour, at the latest he said, so keep
| up your spirits. You'll soon be all right
| II kept up my spirits. as Job had advised,
| for half an hour and even for an hour, but
| when the shaft of light that had streamed
| through the transom began to grow gray
and L knew 1T was getting dark outside,
| my position got decidedly uncomfortable.
1 getting
| the night advanced, and when total dark
ness closed in round me and still JOB did
| not return, 1 did some tall shouting for
| somebody to come and help me out.
But nobody came. The cemetery was
i not one of Louisville's principal burial
grounds. 1t lay alongside a turnpike quite
a distance outside the city limits, and as
the Wilson tomb was far from the road and
| from the keepers lodge there was little
likelihood of anybody hearing me even
though / halloed till I was black in the
face. which am sure did. never knew
| till that night had so much lung power.
1 halloed till my voice gave out, and then
| when 1t got rested little l started in
| again. I kept on shouting at intervals the
whole night long, but it was an hour past
sunrise before anybody heard me. Then
Job and some OF his friends came tearing
back to the vault with ladder. They low
cred the ladder. and the minute got 1t set
in position did climbing stunt over its
| rungs that would have shown tricks in
| agility to any professional acrobat in town.
AZ did not stop to fool with the lock on
the way-anybody else was welcome to
| tackle that job that wanted to; all wanted
| was to get into the open air again, and 1
preferred an undignified but immediate
scramble through the transom to conven-
| 1t wasn't such hard work to squeeze
through the transom then as 1t had been
| the day before, because about half my nor
NAL proportions had been dissolved over
night in fright and worry. Job caught me
| i'm his arms 1 dropped to the ground,
and the big Ounce actually cried over me,
which was really the least he could do, con-
sidering he had been responsible for all the
| trouble.
IT had figured out in the night between
fits of shouting how he happened to desert
| me- 1t was drink that did it, He had not
been able to find the keeper when he set
out in search of a ladder and had gone on
| down the road to the marble cutters. There
| he met some fellows he knew and they
went into saloon across the way for a
| round of drinks. By the time Job got
enough to drink he forgot all about me and
into town to sober up. When he came to
next morning and remembered where he
| had left me he fairly tore up the turnpike
| in his mad dash to the cemetery.
Job begged like a good fellow to be for
| given and to be retained in partnership. /
| could forgive him, but couldn't stand for
the partnership. | quit drinking after that,
| but Job didn't. He hadn't suffered as had.
| Maybe il it had been my drunk and his
lookup it would have been the other way
| round-he might have sworn off and l
| The mission superintendent was getting
| ready to say Amen to the conversion. but
| when the locksmith wound up with clause
| reeking with potential sin he changed his
| mind and the shape of his mouth and said,
| ''Oh, / hope not.
| Then the man in the shadow OF the organ
| arose with an anti-climax.
| 81 don't want to PROFOUND inappropriate
| questions" he said, but what / want to
| know is. did anybody ever get the vault
| open?'
mo" said the locksmith. they never did.
| They didn't even try. They didn't even get
| the ladder out The Wilson's came out to
the cemetery that day at the head of a
funeral procession half a mile long. When
| they found the vault was still locked as
| tight as a drum they got pretty mad. They
| ought to have been notified beforehand; but
| don't presume anybody else did When
they learned what had happened they said
| they couldn't blame me, and as for Job
| well, il was to blame him, either.
''They selected plot little TO the south
| of the vault, bought IL on the spot, and put
two men 10 work digging grave for old
Matthew. So far L know. that is the
only grave in any big cemetery that was
ever dug while you wait The funeral party
strolled around and read epitaphs and adj
mired the scenery while the work was in
progress Fortunately Ii was a nice day
When il all over the Wilson's ordered
the transom closed up with a solid block OF
stone, so / suppose / was the last person,
living or dead. who will ever be inside that
burial vault"
| Benedicite.