The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-24

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kk NH onct she was ready to go
AVA home if it wasn't for the
- customs, but Of a bodys
got the courage to go to
Europe, seems if they ought to be brave
'nough to come home. When hear Mrs.
Gray a-talkin' I can't help but think of
Mrs. Gardiner an her 'erb bed. 1t didn't
cos her anythin' to plan mint in her
garden but it's been some expensive to
get it out an as understan' it that's jes'
the way with goin' to Europe But mos
things are worth what they're sol for,
seems If, an if you don't buy 'em to-day
you'll be sorry tomorrow. You'd think
the government wanted to get rid of US
to hear Mrs. Gray tallkin' bout the Gus
| toms, but my conscience is easy an with
an. easy conscience an money to buy
a railroad ticket, you go anywhere.
''.You haven't been skeered of the GUS
tom officers any place in Europe says
to Mrs Gray, says I, an dunno why
you should be 'fraid of the ones in New
York. You can speak their language,
says I. o" sa
"'That's it, says she. When you don't
| understan' what a mans tellin' you to do,
you can't~be blamed If you don't do it..
Everybody we've seen says It tn United
States customs are the worst in the
| worl',' says she. Mrs. Blaine says It
she'll never go home If she has to UNI
pack her trunk in front Of a man she don't
| even know by sight, says she.
"'Well,' says I, I dunno what she has in
her trunk an p'rhaps the captain II intro
duce her. if it'll make it any easier. Seems
| If Mrs. Blaine top me it wasn't the GUS
! toms she was so much 'fraid Of as whales
an PURPOSES. She's dreadful 'fraid t the
ship she goes over on IL be upset, an as
she say she's al'lys felt as tina she didn't
want to meet a whale face to face. Some
body tol her It the weather 8 warranted
to be more settled in July n any other
month In the year, an sonlethin' alys
happens to keep her from crossin' in July.
Las year it was the dressmaker an this
year the dentis an now she has to wait
| till next summer. for she isn't goin' to
| take any more risks N she has to. tor
her there was only one person It could
give a guarantee of the weather t would
| be any good, an she might jes' as we'll
chance it with the res Of US. but when
she gets an idea in her head 1t stays there.
I've heard more nonsense bout 'Merica
an the 'Tlantic ocean since I've been in
Europe than I did in all the years I've
| lived in Minneapolis an I haven't got time
to blieve it all, an as I says, if she'd truS'
to common sense stead of her frien's she
| d have been home four years ago, an
! that's jes the way it is with the customs.
says I, mos folks d rather blieve the
worst than the bes'. but whl can think
what I please, I'd rather put my min on
|roses N rattlesnakes. You can double the
SIAe VI a. USdu IL you put IL ullueI Tie IISlll
kind of glass but I dunno as it III go any
farther, not even if you use two glasses.
says I. You take to thinlxin' Of Mime
apolis an your Thanksgivin' dinner an
leave the customs, to me- says I, for I'd
made up my min I'd be home for Thanks
givin, If could I promised Mrs. Graves
way las April to cook her dinner for her
an I'm not one to break my promises an
sides, if we stayed in Englan'. Billie
wouldn't know there was Thanksgivin an
l don't hold to cheat child even Of tur-
key drumstick.