The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1903-12-18

give his business directions from mid
ocean. ''ic lays "rc probably past
WI?..l Il great stock market rail, amount
in= t" "A pa-:ic IN fleet, can be made az
soon as Il Wall Street king is on the
ocean and out ii the worlds activities
for n week
The wireless telephone IS bring de-
yel"pcd. Ifitisever pert cted the modern
huS:rcss world will scizr that too, Just
as it has cve:y "tler invention for SIM
pifyiuG c"nIneccial methods. Nj tie
copying and Duplicating ne tlods in use
in every cl'irc. Ill the d,vcIopucnys in
printing, nil the improvements in book
binding, ;,ll t!t hundreds e.: little things
that add cti!cici,cv Ia :. business mans
oifirc are the result If tie demand for
more time.
Tie business man 81 today j. a vastly
mere productive machine than he was a
score Of wears ago. lie makes other men
| and he make machines do rs much of his
work as possible Still he has even less
time than formerly. Sometimes he has
to take his stenn2rapilcrs on the train
! with him as ne goes to his country home,
but once there he drops work and goes
| into play. The Wall Street man employees
suborrlinates who take = large part OF
his responsibility, hut the man who
probably has rs nircn ii not more, Euro
pcan business than any other in the
financial district, ALWAYS attends to one
detail absolutely himself he writes out
every cable message with his own hand.
It not only ensures complete secrecy, but
places full responsibility upon himself for
accuracy.
The cry of the business worlds: Give
us more inventions, mere labor-saving
devices. 50 that We have more time"
So that we may dn more business
would be a better way OF putting it,
IIarpcr's Weekly.
He Knew.
"A!y ncw rural drama is bound to bea
success declared the manager. "Iwant
to give you tie frs; dates"
Thank YOU. What"
you ought to sec the trained cows
I've got. I've learned en- to nibbIe the
imitation grass on the black scene, and
its Just as natural as life.
but who"
You ought to hear Tie pigs in the
second act grunt. 1t ii kill the audience
dead. Why, them pigs will he fed real
corn and they'll squcal when the hired
hand comes in until would feel like you
WAS back on the old farm again"
That's Very good, hut what is the
name Of"
I've patented moving machine
scene, too. Beats the horse race in the
County Fair all hollow. Big roll of
grass covered canvas and a panoramic
back set. Machine cuts and rakes the
grass while the panorama works. Looks
just like a real machine cutting real grass.
It's hourd to make hit
Yes, know, but who have you en-
gagged to-
And the village choir Course no
rural drama is any good without 4 vii
lage choir. Well, I've got it. Choir
sings and then has fuss right on the
stage. Naturalist thing YOU ever saw.
And the chickcns-say them chickens l
trained are it Hens come out of the
barn cacklin like all possessed. Couldn't
he rcaler ii they was right at home"
That's good; but have you engaged
good people to-
And the mortgage sccne-say, that's
a wonder. We file a real mortgage right
in the view of The audience. Bound to
make a hit"
But"
And we've got horses that take the
cake. Say, them horses play leadin
roles, want to tell YOU"
Look here, /"
"Plowin' scene is the best thing ever.
We used real dirt Oh the stage and the
hired hand plows furrow that would
take first prize in plowin' match. Wen
carry our own dirt an make a feature of
it
Hold on there ! want to know
And We
But the owner Of the opera house in
sisted on getting in IL word.
81 know your horses and cows and
pigs and chickens AID farm machinery
will be all right. But what | want to
know is, have You engaged any good
peoplc-any actors and actresses with
putaticns-to play this new piece of
yours.
Good people" calculated the man
agcr OF the new play. Good people!
Amt been telin' YOU ali the time that
this is a rural drama? Wllat'n the name
of common business sense do we want
hire good people i'll rural drama for?"
Varieties.
When wife gets n letter from her
husband she is not satisfied unless it con-
vevs the information that lie is awfullv
lonesome.
Somehow or other VIC rather pity
the baby that IS painfully ncatand clean.
1t is sign that il is not having a
good time.
Ever since David smotc Goliath peo-
pie have had 4 habit OF standing off at
safe distance and throwing rocks at sin.
The average woman can extract a
world Of satisfaction out of an oppor-
tunity of saving IL told YOU SO
A host Of men have gone TO the bad
trying to lie good fellows.
Every time we see 4 man heating a
horse we are quite sure that Ingersoll
was mistaken. There's only one place
where such a man could be adequately
punished
Speaking Of the scarcity of girls who
know how to keep house, perhaps it is
due to the fact that there is q lack of
young men capable OF providing the
house.
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