The people's journal. (Pickens, S.C.) 1891-1903, 1903-04-02
HUMOROUS.

Blll-Why do they call it Cripple
Creek. do you suppose? .Jill-Perbaps
oecauSe the water is limDid.
HIhel-Do you think that George
was struck by my beauty? Clara-I
nardly think that he ws severely in
jured. '''' III
ne ooaslS that he doesn't advertise
p"t heS still doing business at his old
"'ald. 'llc means he's doing business
at his old stand-still."
Harry tell you Bigson's intended
wife is a sweet little body. Robert
HOW DO You know that? Harry saw
HIS D"nhon bill for the last month.
Soi' icigh-Arr you quite sure Miss
banks is not IN? The Maid-Of course
am. She gave ne one OF your photo-
graphs in order to make me doubly
sure.
Airs. Daubcr-This is one of nv sons
paintings. Crittick-Ahcm. Yes? Mrs.
Danhcr-ics. he's quite weddcu to his
art and Critticli-Rathrr 4 hastv
marriage wasn't it?
MIR. Smith Gin stree; carl-Aladnm
take my seat. Mrs. Jones (who has
Dccn standing l. minutcS)-NO, thanks.
set OFT Il! the next corner. MIR. Smith
THAT'S all right. SO do |.
t;rst Little Grizzly pa is going
INTO tn" legislature. Second Little Girl
-fooh! that's nothing: my pas going
INTO bankruptcy. First Little Girl.
We'll. guess my pail go there. too, if
he wants to.
PrrhapS. NCnturcd the unsuccessful
contributor. YOU didn't consider nv
l(tlr ode true to life" oh i. was tru?
enough. replied thc editor. Il assure
You there VAS mere truth than poetry
in what you said"
MY dear sir. replied the secretary
ol the rake mining company, I'VE prom
lSed no dividends. "N0u certainly did
You assured the stockholders they
could make big profits out OF the COM
pany. But. my dear sir. YOU are in it.
Captain-Wcll what do you want:
Tramp--C Captain, believe me. I'm nc
ordinary bcggar; was at the front.
captain twith interest sD-Rcaliy?
Iramp-Ics, sir: but couldn't make
anybody hear. SO came round to the
back.
Iallent-What'S this? Lost. a house
dog; liberal reward will be paid for
his return. Why, man there's your doe
out in the yard this moment. Gilfore-
ess; somebody'll como along and stea,
him as soon as that advertisement gets
about.
George says his father will cut him
OH with shilling if he insists upon
marrying me- And what did you
say?' II reminded him that papa is o
lawyer and that he'd be glad to take
up the case against his fat hers estate
on shares"
Briggs-Great Scott! how you smell |
OF Kerosene! GriggS-YeS, it is the |
fashionable perfume nowadays. 1t gives
one the air Of possessing an automo-
bile. always put a little on my pock-
ct-handkcrchicf before l come away
from homo.
"What is your fathers objection to
me. Millic?' asked the young man. |
'llc says you have no application
Gerald NO application!" he echoed
IL wonder If he knows I've
been coming to sec you twice a week
for nearly six years."
Playwright-That villain in my play
doesn't act his part up to the lines He
must wear look Of worry and despera-
ton. Manager-Oh! don't get excited,
I'll fix that. John, go up on the stage
and start rumor that I have skippcd
with the boX-officc receipts.
"Lillian,' sRid a certain little girls
mamma, there were three pieces Of
cake in the pantry, and now there Is
only one. How did that happen ."
WELL said the child, her eyes wide
open with excitment, 'it was SO dark
in there didn't see the other nieco"