davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1903-10-05

few of our frels in de town house for to entertain -em, tnfora de l,usc is opened:
 "Soitainly not. Hortense, says Miss Fannie. You can maAe my use of de kitchen and ice box you wishes; and if you is to dance. use de dining room.
 So Duchess gets busy making out her invitation list.
 Well have only ladies' maids, yalets. head grooms, buffers, second men and house footmen." she says.
 ..We won't have to buy beer for house footmen,'' I says, flor dere ain't any,"
 Listen: Duchess says dat am 2 house footman, and dat I'm to be call ed dat after dis, or she'll know de req son why. She says dat dere is plenty of places in New York where dey has house footmen. and some of 'em will be in powdered wigs and silk stockings before long, at dat
 "On your way, woman" l says. "l sees dose gillies when we was in Lon don. and when dey went out on de box wore powdered wigs. De foist ting dat goes out on Fit Avenoo in dat make up will be arrested by de crossing cops, and sent away for life"
 But, p'chee! Duchess tells me for fair dat she was hearing of families dat is going to put deir second man in wigs and silks, and send 'em out on de box in dose monkey tricks.
 Not for Chimmie! Wouldn't I be a head-liner, rolling down de Avenoo in a powdered wig. What De foist mug from de Broadway dat got onto me would do tings dat would make hurry call for de police resolve in order. goes on de box now. sometimes. when Miss Fannie has lot of woik to do shopping. or calling-but l has de same livery as coaChy. But q white wig, and low tide vest? Never!
 Anyway, Duchess makes out de list for de boys and goilS what We is to give a invite to. and I pipes it off. to see was I in de game for play or pay.
 Where's Maggie de house maid?' l says, and me fren de bar-keep and me modder and Mrs. Murphy?'
 Why Maggie?" says Duchess. She's only a housemaid.'
 But she's me fren's steady" I says. "and he fetch up de Roseleaf's orches- tra.'
 Women is clever at copping wit dere husbands if only chit-chatting and de- claring deirselves, so Maggie and me fren, and me modder and Murphy gets deir invitations for our reception.
 Me fren brings along the Roseleaf's orchestra. a banjo and a guitar, and, say, till you hears dose two lads do Hiawatha wit deir plink-plunks. you'll never know what grand opera is. Dey has Susa, and Reggie DeKOven beat to a jelly.
 Me fren sends up de case Of beer at cost price, and Duchess and Maggie make near ton of sandwiches, so we was fixed for de real part of de show, all right.
 Evening dress was derigor. and I was
Arizona republican., 1903-10-05

on top of de stoige. Rounds started in like winner. but he was a bit over weight, and, before twenty minutes of it, Murphy had him limping, and in half an hour he stops, and Murphy gees on for five minutes more, jist to put de shame on him hard.
 De cops had de time of dere lives. of course; and as Duchess says, it give eclaw to our blowout for to have it decorated with the gilt of uniforms. But de top time oi all was had by Mrs. Murphy. "I neber taught" she says. dat I'd be Gancin on de very height of Murray Hill. 'Tis a great country, and a good citizen, wcdder she be a real American like me or form dago, like Chimmie's wife. need fear no foe. nor hide her tallons in d bushel. while de light holes out to burn. and fame gctc cOochy-cooing down de corridors Of tune, as de dear dead pct says. wit de candles boining at rata ends and de middle. to de g1 eater glory of St. Pat rick-rest his sGul-is e ice box empty. Chimmie?" she says.
Arizona republican., 1903-10-05
Franks. Rounds" says Kel.

Tanks. Rounds" says Rel.
 'Oh, very we'll" says Duchess. If is was de officers duty to come in hera and ask so many ques tions. l shall not report him. It's d warm night, Cap tain, is it not?''
 "Readder hot" says Rounds, taking off his helmet.
 Would you do me de honor to have q bock?"
 "I wouldn't mind" says Rounds.
 And may de officer have one?'' Duchess asks, wit her baby stare.
 It'll do him TO harm." Rounds says, wit a wink at Kel.
 Duchess fetches de beer. and as de cops was putting it away Murphy was piping Rounds like she was in q trance, den she says to him: Your names Halligan. and you're from the Oak not foot high"
 De same" says Rounds. How did you get into high society, Mrs. Mur- phy:'
 Il didn't come here in perlice patrol wagon. anyway. You're q County Gal way man. and de men of your county dances like steer wit only tree hoofs. Dey is no geod."
 Nc woman out of Kerry can stand up wit me-" says Rounds wit q laugh.
 Oats me-" says Murphy. Take up Ge rug, Duchess, dear, sos we can hear our feet, and I'll put shame on dis Galway man, or die in me tracks"
 Say, it was better dan a show out
Arizona republican., 1903-10-05
GIMME FADDEN STORIES


de rigOrest Willie in de walk, for I'd just cOpped a evening dress suit off NIr. Paul. what it fitted him too quick.
 Well, when everything was ready for de boys and goils to come. Duchess says to me. Light up in de parlors, :" she says. hasten me man." says she.
 Miss Fannie never said We might use de parlors.' I says.
 "She never says We mightn't," says Duchess. Make haste. for de guests will be arriving, and We must be ready to receive 'em proper"
 De proper way for to receive 'em is wit a glad hand. and an open bottle of beer at de kitchen door" I says.
 Dat would do for under soivants. ' Duchess says, chesty. Not for upper soivants. Make haste. De guests will enter by de tradesmen's door. and come up to de paror, where you and me will receive 'em.''
 I seen dat it would be a case of rough house if I didn't let Duchess do like she'd laid out de game. and I tinks dat de gang dat was coming was well knowing how to behave in parlor, most of 'em being parlor soivants, so I turns on de erectrics. and Duchess hustles me into me joint. along side her in de front parlor.
 Listen: Doing my duty at Miss Fan nie's. I've seen many fine haired dame in full sail al q reception. but de best of 'em all was ran by de side of Duchess. My. my! If you'd seen de swagger of dat goil when de mugs and lasses began to show up. you'd died wit | laughing. She had de high armed shake. de stitch in her side. de prop erty smile. and de tOusand- mile-away | look in Ge eye. dat near par'lyZes me mOdder and Mrs. Murphy when il | comes deir turn to get de hand.
 Mrs. Murphy couldn't take her peep CTS off Duchess. and she slides up be- | hind me for to be near. Soon I hears her talking to herself: Look at de leddy!" she says. "A lords teddy hasn't de style or her. And to tink shes Chimmie's own wife, Shes iike queen on her golden trone. she is. Don't tell me all desc grand folks is hired men and goils. Deys de cream of society. well I know. Lave me gc and find Chimmie's modder, to see is dere any beer in de house-so dry I am wit de excitement
 All dat style comes near putting q frost on de whole box of tricks: for
Arizona republican., 1903-10-05
Signed this 26th day of September,
REV. SEVERN wEsTHoFF.

Signed this 26th day of September, 1903
 REV. SEVERN WESTHOFF.
 Pastor. Nj. F. Curry, A. A. Celaya, J. M Gonzales, A. l.. Cuber. trustees.
 That Charles Cousins, formerly vel. known here but now an inmate of the Soldiers home in California, is gain ing a reputation as a marksman is proven by the following, copied from paper at that place:
 Every little while the home finds that it has a surplus of dogs and cats and details some veteran to shoulder arms and go cat and dog killing. Last week Charles Cousins of F. company was requested to do this act, and with blood in both eyes and teeth clinched he set out upon his murderous mission and built for himself a reputa ation as crack shot. He was creeping stealthily along with gun in hand. as the five cent novels say, when suddenly he saw q stack of young Kittens, all piled up, squinting their sore eyes, and Charlie
Arizona republican., 1903-10-05

Selected field grains are put through a scientific process (that is really mechanical digestion) and Grape Nuts come from the package a1- ready digested and ready for i'm
Arizona republican., 1903-10-05
ICopyright. 1903, by Robert Howard
 RusSell)

We'll be getting back into little old New York pretty soon, for de twenty round fight to a finish wit de society racket. Oats de reason Duchess has to be chasing into de town house now and den, for to see has de gang at woik putting new frills' on de inside of de house done any woik, or just struck. I was in wit her de odder day. and she says. as she pipes off de erarty rooms, says she. ''It would be a polite ting for us to give reception to our frens be- fore de family comes in and fills de house.
 Sure says I. "In de basement, wit beer and frankfurters solved in de kitchen
 Duchess bumped. her shoulders. de way French goils has. instead of being sassy and loud, and I cCp dat she was cooking some trouble.
 Well, day or two after dat I hears her say to Miss Fannie, Would Nam zelle object if Chalnes ant. q had
Arizona republican., 1903-10-05

de odder loidies' maids was bound for to be as far up in de air as Duchess. and it looked like dere was nobody to
 break de ice, till Maggie, who looked like she'd scream when she piped Duchess, says to her steady, me fren de bar-keep. Start de band. Johnnie, or we'll all tink dat we is at. a funer- all
 Den tings began to go gailygaily. for fair; and Mrs. Murphy, who'd been
 next to de ice box, floats up from de basement, and seeing me still holding
 up de bay window wid me dignity, she
 says. Murphy says, "Chimmie. your
 ladder could dance a reel wid any man out of de county Kerry. Stop de band playing dat fioat-me-gentle music. and
 give us reel, and see what you'll see"
 So I asks de lads to give us a jig
 time piece. ard me and Murphy faces each Odder. and begins. Say. soiVants is mostly like odder folks. and when dey sees dat dere was noting going to happen to 'em if dey enjoy deirselves,
 dey toins loose, and in q minute We has a reel going dat makes de tears of l joy come to me modder's eyes. Murphy
 was de queen of de May. Sure! You | might not tink. from looking at her
 dat she could shake a lively leg; but p'chee, when We had got warmed up,
 and I'd let out a few Kerry yells to give her heart. a buck dancer would | look like d marble statue alongside of
 de old loidy. Some of de hands We had
 dele was French. some English, some
 Switzers, and all sorts but none of 'em but had some kind of dance of
 deir own forn parts dat dey could foot
 to de music Of dat banjo and guitar: and even Duchess, she got de fever.
Arizona republican., 1903-10-05

thought it was an awful shame but he was sworn to do his duty. Some ques- tion arose among bystanders as to how Charles was going to kill the five kit tens with but one shot, but Charles said that one ball was a plenty for him to kill the five kittens with. And sure enough he won the beers from the crowd, for when he fired he was so standing that the ball went through every cat. This is a most remarkable bit of marksmanship. remembering that. as each kitty had nine lives. MT. Cousins took forty-fiv lives with but single shot.
 An error was made yesterday in the Republican regarding the time when the Normal circus train would leave Tempe. It will leave at 1.20 Santa Fe time or 12:50 city time.
Arizona republican., 1903-10-05

could make him attend school, and it finally became necessary to send him thither each day in charge of a police man. This lasted for a week or so, and then he began to run away from home at night so that the policeman could not find him in the morning. To stop this practice he was locked up. One night he jumped through the window in the room where he was con- fined and landed in the street, thirty feet below, with his skull and most Of his ribs broken.
Arizona republican., 1903-10-05
INCONSIDERATE MAN.

He said he'd die if I didn't marry him.
 And still you refused?"
 Yes. I wished to find out before promising, whether he really loved me as much as that or not. Oh Harriet, I'm p-p-perfectly miserable. He seems to be wretchedly healthy, and I d-do love him so m-much!"-Chicag Record Herald.
Arizona republican., 1903-10-05
A CHAMPION TRUANT.

Berlin lays claim to the distinction of having the champion truant of the world. He is a boy of 10. Nothing
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26
Quit, That's the Way.

The Pennington, Iowa, News
editor recently celebrated great
event and tells of it in the follow
ing plain, comprehensive and sug-
gestive language:
The News man is celebrating
to day. just twelve months ago, we
took our last drop of booze" For
the last year we have been free
from the most Internal banker
ing appetite that ever held domin-
ion over men. We have no crow
to pick with those of our friends
who talk prohibition, neither do
we feel like abusing those who are
experiencing the same old "hanker-
ing" we used to feel. Neither
abuse or coaxing weans a man
from the pint bottle. It takes a
heavy club to knock a little sense
into the head of a chronic inebri-
ate. Ninety per cent of the men
who booze do not want to booze
they dread whisky-they despise
it-they can't throw off the nerve
killing, nerve racking, soul-de-
stroying appetite; they daily
pledge themselves this is the last
There is no formula for quitting
There is only one way to quit and
that is to quit. Quit it and in two
months you will be stepping
around like a Searling colt-you
will keep wonde'ing why you trav-
eled the pace that kills, or down
the path that leads to everlasting
ruin. Why do We 'booze'' The
man who does cannot tell. Twele
months have gone by and we are
celebrating the day by keeping So
ber, sticking type, running the
old PrOuty press and trying to
justify the confidence of our fell
low men. Good by to the old gal
Ion jug; farewell to the pint bottle;
we have had no use for them since
this day one year ago. There is on
ly one way to quit, and that is to
QUIT"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26

II primary were held in Ran
dolph county," county," says the
Moberly (Mo. } Monitor (Dem. ga
iack-rabbit could not run fast
enough to keep out of Mr.. Folks
way If those opposed to Folk do not
believe this let them agree to a pri-
mary. The Monitor predicts that
those who are against Mr.. Folk
will never consent to such an ar
rangement."
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26

One of the unique features of the
Short Course in Agriculture in the
University of Missouri the 9th of
January is a corn school. For
ten days nothing but corn will be
taught, talked, or seen. How to
breed it, how to grow it, aud how
10 feed it will be the subjects con
sidered, And why should corn
growing not be taught in our Uni
versityi According to the census
of 1900 Missouri raised 7,423, ,6S3
bushels of corn in 1899 worth
more than $2,OOO,OOO. The out
put of all Missouri's mines for the
same period was worth little more
than $500, 900. Our University
teaches our boys to mine. Why
should it not teach them to grow
corn.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26

The Farber Forum says: Hon
r. w. Major has said he is can
didate for Attorney General of this
great State. senator Major is one
of the noblest men you ever met, a
thoro student Of law, and a man
of splendid legal attainments. He
can make a speech, too. Mr.. Ma
jor will make his formal announce
ment next week, and the Forum
is in a position tn say that he con-
templates making one of the mosl
thor0 aud aggressive campaigns
ever made in the State:
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26
Self Praise VS.. Silent Duty.

Reward is always received with
qualification by the worthy.
To the person who does his duty
aud then there comes to him re-
cognition of his services from his
countrymen, lie must feel elated
over his success. But in the field
Of action there are those who al.
ways seek reward and claim that
their past services have been such
that they merit it.Others do not do
this, but let the course of events
bring what it will.
In the political arena of this
state today there are two men striv
ing for the Governorship. This is
an important office. In the Lam
guage of one of the aspirauts it is
a position any one might well COW
ct. One of the candidates is going
over the State making speeches
and giving his qualifications. The
other seldom speaks, but is occu-
pied with the duties of his office.
One is Mayor of Kansas City, one
of the greatest municipalities in
the world. The other is Circuit
Attorney of another city of impor-
tance, probably greater than the
first.
Folk says lie has done nothing
to merit the place, that he has on
ly performed the functions of his
office. Reed says he has always
worked for the ticket and made
one hundred and ten speeches last
campaign while Folk did not
make one. Reed is using his past
as a propeller for his gubernato-
rial airship. Folk is relying upon
nothing which he has done,
and says if he is not named by his
party he will have no hard feel
ings.
That is the condition which con-
fronts the party today. Reed is
Mayor Of a great city and is can.
vassing the State in order to sc,
cure another office. The position
to which he has been elect,
ed by the people of Kansas City is
being neglected by him but the
salary is drawn just the same.
Folk is holding his Office aud per-
forming the duties which come be,
fore him. That is why he is max.
ing no speeches when Reed is de.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26

livering his one hundred and ten.
That is why the Democracy did
not receive his aid as a campaign
orator. When election day came he
went and voted his party ticket
and knew he had done his duty.
The comparison is plain. Both
are deserving, but is not the Mayor
wrOnging his constituents by his
actionsf He boasts of his work
and thinks reward is due him. The
Circuit Attorney has silently and
steadfastly met what has come be-
fore him and is letting tue people
have their say as to his reward. It
is case Of self praise against ST.
lent duty. These facts will not be
lost sight of when the man is to be
chosen. Reward will go to one
deserving to be sure, but is it not
better to take the humble instead
of the self-exaltedi The ego will
be lost in the shuttle, and Folk the
man who has stayed with his office,
will reap his reward Ray Comfy
Review.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26

The Perry Enterprise states that
Luther H. Biggers of Mexico was
down that way the other day. Mr..
Biggers was lately married, and
the Enterprise says he was arguing
with some of his old batchelor
friends that they should go and do
the same as he had done: thinks
married life much better than liy-
ing single.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26
A SUICIDE.
William johnson Ends His
Life With a Butcher
Knife.

DR.. 9. T. Varnon held view
inquest" over the body of William
johnson at Laddonia last Friday.
1t was a case of suicide, no doubt,
but the man must have been some
what demented also to end his life
as he did.
There were but three witnesses
called. r. A. johnson, a son, ,tes-
tilted as follows;
Found him dead between s
aud 8 o'clock. He did not appear
to be cold. He was walking about
at about 7 a. m. Was not anyone
with him that l know of up to the
time l found him dead. The butch
err knife that he used was sticking
in his shirt front p art when 1 first
found him. Found him in the
barn. He was 70 years of age.
Has two children, one son, aged
"a; one daughter, aged 36 years,
both married. Had wished he
was dead a good many times. His
wife, my mother, died two years
ago. Father said he was tired Of
life because he couldn't do any
thing in the way of work. A week
or two ago he left, went to the
country, stated about three days,
wouldn't come home, said he did
MT want to stay with me any long
er. l had to bring him home part
ly by force, partly in wagon.
Never showed any signs of being
demented. Was at Henry Hay
crafts when he went off to cOun-
try. l am satisfied he killed him
self"
Mrs. Hattie johnson Kendall, a
daughter, testified:
Am a daughter of the dead ly-
ing here. l have no suspicion of
foul play or felony in deceased's S
death. Think it was purely suicide.
1t was about 9 a. m. when / first
saw him. Don't know what eaus-
ed him to kill himself. "
John Akridge, nearby neigh
Dor, testified:
THE family and Mr.. johnson
got along all right. He was always
busy, but could not do much ex-
cept job work around the house
About 8 or $3.50 / first saw him
dead. He could not have been
dead longer than half an hour. ]
saw him about 8 a. m. little
while before, with a water bucket
going towards the pond. He had
been afflicted a good deal with
rheumatism. l have heard him
say he wanted to die; has wanted
to die for several years. The butch
er knife, the knife found sticking
in his body, belonged at the house
where he lived and it was the one
be used to cut kindling with. He
was lying on his face with mouth
and nose in the dust. When we
raised him up the knife was found
with which he stabbed himself. He
stabbed thru his undershirt, but
did not cut outside"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26

The WarrentOn Banner has the
following praise for a Republican
official of this State: Eleven
months Of exacting, persistent,
ceaseless labor by Nortoni and his
helpers in exposing the naturaliza-
ton frauds makes the record read
as follows: Total number of indict-
meuts found by grand jury, 23S.
OF these, 129 are against the Off
GERS of a branch of the Democratic
jefferson club, IS are against the
chairman of a Democratic commit
tee, 18 are against the marshal of
the court of appeals, 10 are against
a captain of police, 36 against a
policeman, and IL against one of
the secretaries to the governor of
Missouri. The president of the
Hebrew branch of the club referred
TO has been tried, convicted and
sent to the penitentiary. The pres
Ident of the Italian branch has
gone the same road, aud thru the
tireless, faithful aud persistent ef-
forts of Mr.. Nortoni many more Of
the guilty ones will follow the path
to the pen. Praise him to whom
praise is due-Nortoni deserves it.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26
Curt Smith of Cant neighbor
hood has moved to Benton City.

Mrs. Z. b. Keath, Jr.. and two
little children came near losing
their lives one night last week by
escaping gas from a hard coal
stove. Mr.. Keath was out of the
city. The stove had just been put
up the day before, and when a fire
was started the gas settled in the
room, as it was afterwards learned
the flue was stopped with mortar.
At about midnight Mrs. Keath
awakened in a very stupefed con-
dition and tried to crawl TO the
telephone but tainted in the at
tempt, but she managed to get a
window partly open. One of the
little boys cried that he was ehok-
ing to death, Mrs. Keath tainted
again aud when she and the chill,
dren awoke in the morning they
were in a serious condition, caused
from the choking gas and from
vomiting. Later in the day they
fully recovered. 1t was a narrow
escape for all.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26

Hon. Champ Clark has intro
duced the following bills in Con-
gress: To place on the free list ag-
riculturNl implem ents, wood pulp,
printing paper, binding twine and
other materials. Also to remove
the import duty on salt. Also APP
propriate $50, 900 for Improvement
of the Missouri River near Bern
heimer. Also $4,000 for improve
ment of Hermann Harbor, Mis-
souri, River, aud$50, 900 for a pub
lie building at Louisiana, Mo.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26

John King and wife, of near
Middletown, have moved to limbo
den, Kas., to reside.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26

Mrs. Watt Branstetter of Mt.
Carmel locality, has been quite
sick for year and last week took
worse.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1903-11-26

FL. S. Braden, rural mail carrier
ont to Long Branch postofiee,
made this Office a pleasant call last
Thursday.