davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Believes in Spirits

With all that Lord IIalsbuTy believes
in supernatural visitatIons. Some time
ago he leased the house of Mr.. and Mrs.
Erskine at St BosWelIs in Scotland.
One day Lady Halsbury was lying down
with a headache when she heard a car
riage drive up. She looked out Of the
window and saw a rather old-fashioned
looking conveyance. with a strange lady
seated inside. Presently the foOtman
came up and said that the lady had
asked for the mistress Of the house, and
wished TO speak to her for n few min
yates, but had not given her name,
Lady Halsbury sent a message down
regretting that she was too unwell to
see anyone, but when the footman came
down to the door he found neither lady
nor carriage there, though no wheels
had been heard TO so away. Meanwhile
Lord Halsbury. who. seated In the IL
brary, had heard the carriage passing
over the gravel of the drive on It's ar
rival, came to his wife TO inquire who
it might be. Learning what the foot
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Church Graft. :"
Doubtful Expedients for Raising Funds
for Religious Uses.

Graft" is not a pleasant word to
use in connection with the church, but
1t Is religious newspaper, "Christen-
DOM" which applies it IN that connec-
tion.
What "Christendom" has in view is
the custom Of many churches of levy
ing tribute upon merchants in various
forms. Thus, for church suppers the
grocer and the baker are expected to
rake gifts. or give ruinous discounts,
and for church fairs storekeepers of
all sorts are held up by the women of
ihC congregation. There is no direct
threat that loss Of custom Will be the
penalty of refusal to make the desired
1fsp -, but merchants usually I'M
a that It Is not prudent TO
uests that have 4 church back
. Then, there is the church
'or which advertising is So
)r tie programs of church
ons, the cost Of printing
betrayed by the same doubt
1ient.
Sc reliant responds to these ap-
p IA gives his patronage in the
an advertisement with any ex-
of beiEg benefited in a bust
y, or of selling a dollars
ore goods in consequence of
rtisement. The only advan-
oh he derives is a negative
he puts his card in, he is at
red the displeasure of those
.-i in the enterprise, which
y likely vent itself in carry
ps image to some more comph-
r d be a good thing if "Chris-
-a7ae protest against these prac-
te we're to be generally echoed by
the IT,, Gus press. Whether we call
these customs graft or something
less harsh, it is plain that they must
be detrimental to the cause of true
religion. The sooner they are aban-
doned for more straightforward ways
Of raising money the better.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Compound Interest Gifts.

Sir Frederick Bramhall has offered $3.50 to the
British association 70 be invested for ffty years.
the proceeds then 20 be paid as a prize for the
best obituary on steam power. which viii then
be dead Sir Frederick thinks. The association
doubts the legality OF the gift. It would amount
20 about 81, l25 by 1883.
In l70S a Swede named T5eluSson LETT an es-
tate OF -. 10000 20 he divided among his
great grandchildren. or Il there were none, the
proceeds were 70 De applied % the national
debt Lord Rondlesham was descendant o. the
eccentric Syyede
Thclisson's viii was probated but caused the
passage OF a special act limiting deferred lega-
cies 10 twenty-one years. 80 it WIS plainly
illegal 20 offer, rs another chap did recently,
$50 70 be put az compound interest for tha city
Ct Birmingham for 90 years. At 3 per cent il
would amount to a tribe Of S2oi, iS5. O00.000.
To 10 richer than Rockefeller is a perfectly
simple matter. Only it takes SO long!-Nsw
York World.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Glote Sights.

Don't take defeat too easy
IN some Joke Books you will not find single
joke.
Whether girl is pretty. or whether she
thinks she is, she acts the same
Ethics is something you must not violate If
you are going TO be caught at it.
Honestly now. taking every phase Of life into
consideration, aren't you lucky?
When man is about to get married. in
spite Of his best efforts to get away, he is par
ticulariy mean about it,
We should think that running a boarding
house would be great deal like giving three
church supoers day.
An Atchison woman is not only looking death
in the face. and is not afraid, but she is laugh
ing at it. Could you do it?
About six months after man has married
for home his wife begins 70 show figures
proving that it IS cheaper 10 board
This is the season when farmers pile apples
under the trees near the fence in order to send
town people TO he'll; they ride by and steal
them.
You have a right 20 your own opinions, OF
course; but see that they are as sensible as
possible, for a poor opinion is liable TO do you
great harm.
We object % the new style Of scoop hat;
il looks as il it would be harder than 10 get
TO a girls mouth without disarranging her spe-
cial scenery.
Afrhfanu Globe
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Legend of Laughter.

Il is a legend, such. in sooth,
As pagans tell within the booth
Where there is any ware but truth;
That when the world was but begun
The hrstlings Of all things were there
The first rose smiling at the sun
And lending glory TO the air.
The first dove soaring on its wings.
The first man walking on the ground
Twas then the Maker of All Things
Disposed Of every sweet sound.
That He within the garden safe
And made division Of them all:
The song Of one bird to its mate;
The rhythm Of the trumpet call;
The diapason Of the sea;
The singing Of the ones who reap;
The rustic Of the leafy tree.
And whispers through the grasses creep;
That He from out His hand let fall
The music Of the straining sail,
And melodies that men enthrsll-
The lyric Of the nightingale;
The untraced murmurs of the night
That dreamily sigh from the west
All sounds He gave to give delight.
And one was sweeter than the rest.
That these who stood about and heard
The throbbing Of the thrilling drum
And joyous caroling Of bird
And honeybee's contented hum
Were curious and marveling.
And wondered II there could be found
beast. or bird. or anything
That should receive the sweetest sound:
That then the Maker Of Them All
Said: 10, this fairest sound shall 90,
Not 20 the thrilling trumpet call,
Nor 10 the love song soft and low.
Nor 20 the ever-singing sea,
But il shall be''-the Maker smiled
The richest Of ali melody
Shall be the laughter Of 4 childr'
II is a lcgend-pagan, too
That out Of pagan dreamings grew
Yet, haply. it might we'll be true
Chicago Tribune
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Appendicitis.
Is 1t Common or Is 1t Not? Or Have
Surgeons Become Too Zealous2

A man was recently found uncOn-
scious on the street OF a large Euro
pean city, and taken to the hospital,
where the doctors thought he had
symptoms of appendicitis. They
found, however, an inscription tat
tooed upon his breast, "Do not oper-
ate upon me for appendicitis, as three
operations for this have already been
performed upon me-" This rather
apocryphal story carries a moral.
Many sensible people have already
begun to wonder whether this disease
of the latter nineteenth century Is
really so common as it would seem.
and whether the enthusiasm of sur
geons IS not responsible for a good
many operations.
The surgical operation is, In fact,
almost a hobby with some people. To
hear the prideful way in which they
recount the number of experiences of
this nature they have had, one would
think that a surgical operation was
seine sort of a medal. 1t is curious
that any human being should consider
il an honor to have been carved up by
doctor, but it does seem as if some
Of them do.
The fact is that with the progress
IN surgery which Is unquestionably
part of the progress of the past cen
fury, many people inclined to some
chronic disorder have become careless
of their health. As a devotee of pat
ent medicines takes this, that, or the
other dose, they take a surgical opera
ton. At least, that is the way it
seems to the observer.
The great need of the present day
Is a system of living which viii make
itself accepted by the people who, by
Cverwork, overexertion in search of
pleasure, overeating. or Overindui-
gence in other forms of self-gratifica-
ton, get themselves into that condi-
ton in which something is radically
wrong with them, and nothing but the
knife viii set it right.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Delivering Coal.

To the Editor Of The Washington Tmes;
Please empty the walls Of your wrath upon
the doings Of the greedy cormorants Of the
local coal combine. Their latest scheme is 70
petition the Commissioners 10 forbid the use
Of the chute in delivering coal, on the ground
that accidents are liable TO be caused thereby
Such a subterfuge viii not be tolerated. we
hope, by sensible people. Since 1900 the deal
ers here have fought against doing more than
dumping the coal in the street or upon the
sidewalk. Before that period the purchaser was
politely asked, shall we send the chute
gon?' Should they gain what they now seek,
we may expect before long TO send 10 the
yard for the coal.
Oh, for cooperative coal company!
NORTHWEST.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
The ReQbA's Forum.
Are the Police Careless?

To the Editor of The Washington Times:
Not long ago young man who had been
arrested on charge Of intoxication was found
dead in a police station cell the morning after
his Incarceration. 1t appears that when he was
brought in his case was analyzed by the police
expert as plain case Of drunk" Subse-
quent investigation showed that the "prisoner'
was i'll and that his life might have been saved
had he been given medical attention.
1t seems 20 me that this is n gross case Of
neglect on the part Of the police officers at the
station where the young man was held OF
course. policemen are not expected to be med
ical experts. but the average officer ought TO
have common sense enough to be able 20 tell
whether a man is drunk or not. The officer
who failed 70 send for a physician for this
young man, but locked him up when he should
have sent him to hospital is in a measure
responsible for his death. The young man was
soldier in the Spanish war and deserved a
better fate. 4 FRIEND.
Washington, Oct. 10
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Dislike for LabOucheIe.

Lord Halsbury is a man OF pronOunc-
ed likes and dislikes. and one OF the
principal objects OF his aversion is
Henry Labouchere. M. p, the proprie-
tor Of Truth" owing TO the latter hav-
ing described him as the Lord High
Jobber' and denounced him as the
champion nepotist of Great Britain. on
one memorable occasion. when Lord
Halsbury arrived at Lady Jeune's with
his wife 70 attend a dinner party and
discovered that Labouchere was among
his fellow guests. ne called Lady Halls
bury. summoned his carriage and left
the house. declaring that nothing on
earth could induce him TO sit at the
same table with the genial II sarcastic
member for Northampton
The Washington times., 1903-10-18

South Carolina courts Eave practically
decided that any man may legally
with him. The rest OF the country would
now like 70 know IL South Carolina cit
liens are going to demand acquittal by
the courts Of other States when they
shoot people, on the ground that they
are from the Palmetto State and their
honor is extra sensitive. In that case
it may come to quarantining that State
as one would a suspected mad dog.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
MI. Long aS Historian.
His Statements in the Outlook" Unfair
to the President.

However highly we may regard the
Hon. John d. Long in other respects
a. a historian we are forced to the
opinion that he is at times, to say the
least, unfair. He does not write an
entirely unbiased, impartial record OF
events, which it is the duty Of every
historian to do if his works are to be
accounted of any value No one can
doubt the personal honesty, integrity,
and manliness Of Ex-Secretary Long,
but, like all other men, he has preiu-
dice, the sort which units him for
historical writing, and his judgment
Is sometimes warped by preconceived
opinion. No Just chronicler of events
could write a fair and complete his
tory of the battle of Santiago with
out making reference anywhere 10
Rear Admiral, then Commodore, W.
s. Schley, the senior officer present
during that engagement, yet this is
what Mr.. Long has attempted to do.
More noteworthy just now, how
ever, are Mr.. Longs statements in an
article in the "Outlook," in which he
speaks Of the attitude Of President,
then Assistant Secretary Roosevelt,
just prior to the war with Spain.
Among other things Mr.. Long says Of
his former assistant:
Just before THE war he. as well as some naval
officers. anxious 20 send a squadron across
the ocean 20 sink the ships and torpedo boat
destroyers Of the Spanish feet while we we're
yet at peace with spain
As this expression stands it is man.
ifestly unfair to the resident. No
one can believe II 4 so strenu-
Gus a person Roosevelt
would wish sells attack
sld destros nation at
The Washington times., 1903-10-18

man had told her. he followed the man
to see what the lady wanted. On com
ing down he, too, found no carriage
there. nor could he discover any traces
OF the wheel In the thick gravel.
a few days later he learned that Mrs.
Erskine wife CT the owner OF the house.
had died on that day. and It appears
that there is a tradition In the Erskine
family that whenever a demise is about
to take place among the members OF the
house a phantom carriage always ap-
pears to give warning of the event
Lord and Lady Halsbury are dead in
earnest" about this matter. They are ex-
ceedingly matter-of-fsct. prosaical peO-
pie. incapable Of romancing. but they
fully believe In the supernatural vista
ton TO which they have been witness.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
The Worlds Bookkeeping.

There would he but little frctting
And but few sad faces here
II we didn't keep forgetting
When Our little woes annaar
All the sweetness, all the gladness
We nave had and syiiI may gam
II v" 80 ags'inst tho Sadness
All the Joys our books contain.
There would be more joy TO borrow
And less woe 10 clear away
II the sOrroWs due tomorrow
Were not entered up today;
There would he a small amount OF
Idle fretting and less care
II we kept a full account Of
All the joys We have to share.
S. (. Kiser
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Escaped an Assassin

Nearly fifty years ago Lord Halsbury
had narrow escape from assassina ton
by an insane clergyman, who fired a
pistol at him point blank while he was
defending a prisoner in the central
criminal court. 1t is, I believe. the only
instance Of an attempt made to kill
counsel In the course Of a trial He
was called to the bar just ffty-three
years ago. and from that time until 1855.
when he was made lord chancellor.
that is 70 say for a period Of thirty-five
years he enjoyed one Of the largest
legal practices possessed by any mem
Der OF the bar, and was briefed in
nearly every cause celebre," includ-
Ing the TichbOrne case. the Governor
Eyre case, the trial OF Lord Carrington
for horse-whipping GrenviIle Murray.
the Overend Quincy case, and that OF
Bradlaugh.
Lord Halsbury is not Of particularly
impT essive appearance. Indeed, / have
known newspaper owned and inspired
BY one OF the members Of the admins
tration TO which he belonged describe
him as "a funny little squat man. with
big head. a quantity ugly get not at
all ungenial counteuance, a figure that
seems gone astray among the gorgeous
trappings Of office. accessories that 1T
III into the picture Of which he is the
center. producing a resultant that is in
congruous and ludicrous. and conveying
an idea Of a lord high chancellor of
comic opera in some Gilbert and Sulli-
van play"
When, however. Lord Halsbury speaks,
this bizarre effect c-sappears. His
words are always sensible and lumi-
nous. They go to the heart of the
matter; they evince the closest touch
with life; they have d plain yet impress
sive dignity and one recognizes him as
worthy Of the high Office that he has
filled for 50 many years. II is an office
that is the highest in the land. save
that of the Archbishop of Canterbury,
and he precedes all dukes and all cabi-
net ministers, and, with the primate,
comes Immediately next to royalty.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Ann Should Tell.

To the Editor Of The Washington Times:
Why not this: Ann may have been born
on February %; therefore, she had only one
birthday TO every four Of Narys. Mary ia
twenty-four years old; then Ann is sixteen years
old II Ann had birthday every year. but bav-
ing only one birthday il seems she was four
years old
Let the little lady speak up and tell us IL
there any more az home.
FROM ONE WHO CARES.
Washington, Oct IL
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Requires No Algebra.
NORTHWEST.

To the Editor Of The Washington Tines;
The solution Of this problem requires no al
zebra, but should be by analysis inspection
Mary is "a. This is twice the age Of Ann when
Mary was the age thar Ann is now, therefore
Ann was II at that time. Mary advanced 70
"a, Ann advanced from u. 1t is evident that
Ann and Mary have advanced in age the same
nvmber Of years. and that the years from y
TO AIMS present age must be the same as the
years from her present age TO "a. It follows
that one-hsh the difference between y and "a
added TO II IS AIMS present age, Is years
E.X
Washington, Oct Il
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
DoWie: An Analysis.
The Reasons for His Influence and
Prosperity.


The defense of Dowie offered in
letter published recently in The
Times Is an example of the view
which many conservative people tale
Of him and his work. In it the argu-
mcnt is offered that the prophet" has
done much good, because Of the town
which he has established, in which
there Is not saloon, drug store,
physician, a tobacco store, or a dis
reputable house. The same might be
said Of Sing Sing. except that tho
convicts are not deprived Of medical
aid. If there are III this country sew
eral thousands of people who prefer
that sort of life TO any other, that is
matter with which religion has
Gothing to do. To consider a man
great because he has not done posi-
tive harm is a good deal like the view
of the little boy who said that pins
Lad saved a great many peoples lives
by not being swallowed.
The fact that Dowie has been able
to gather thousands of people of no
particular creed, but certain decided
pTejudiees, into one place and rule
over them, is Of no spiritual signin-
canoe whatever. 1t would be possible,
by 4 process Of selection, to make up
town of corsumptives, or divorced
folk, or dipsomaniacs, or one-legged
people. The Shakers and Mennonites
and other peculiar sects nave proved
that IT Is possible TO make up a town
of celibates and keep It running for
while at least The Shaker commun-
tiles in this country are nearly a cen
fury old, and some IF them are still
prosperous. Why should not Dowie
be able to- get together a town full Of
people of his peculiar belief, espe-
cially when he encourages the family
relation and provides work for his
fcllowers7 That is not a miracle. Ii
would be more of a miracle if nobody
would come.
1t is true that his gift Of organiza-
ton is rather extraordinary. That
and his patriarchal beard are the
chief secrets Of his success. A wills
kerless prophet would lose much OF
the influence acquired by a long,
white, and flowing beard
Dowie is not a new proposition in
the history Of this country. He has
been preceded by Mother Ann,
Dwight L. Moody, Brigham Young,
and p. I. Barnum. He is a living
proof of the fact that, in all lands,
and particularly III America, the size
Of a religious or so-called religious
movement is taken as proof of its
inspiration, rs the size Of a business
mans shop is sometimes considered
proof of the worth Of his goods. He
understands the people with whom lie
Ceals, he stimulates their imaglnations
by his CANDY rhetoric, he satisfies
their commercial judgment by help
ing them get a living, ne appeals to
their superstition by promising to do
away with disease. He is an exemph-
fication of the power Of religious mob
law; of the truth that people viii do.
IN crowd, things which they would
see to be foolish if left to themselves.
a considerable percentage of tie
American people is amenable to mob
law. The person belonging tc this
class is lonesome if required to think,
The Washington times., 1903-10-18

live. or act even for a short time
alone. Sheep-ike, people Of this tenn
per follow a leader-any kind of
leader-and the only reason why TIE
majority of Dowie's host did not go
ever to MormoniSm instead of Dow
,eism is that Dowie happened to get
hold of them, and Brigham Young
is dead.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Double Measure.

Doctor-Your husband needs rest. He must
60 to Europe for SIX months
Mrs Nagget-Oh! shall be Just delighted to
go there.
Doctor-Oood idea! You may go for six
months when he gets back. That will give
him a whole years rest.-Philal!elphia Press
The Washington times., 1903-10-18

Lord Halsbury. in spite Of his adj
vanced age, is still a most accomplished
fencer, eXcels at golf, and delights in
bridge. AS keeper Of the sovereign's
conscience and dispenser OF an immense
amount Of ecclesiastical patronage, IL is
a source OF relief to the majority Of
his countrymen to know that he enter
tains old-fashioned ideas about the
Bible, and on the occasion Of a memo
orable lecture. delivered by the late Prof
Max Muller. OF oxford. on the coin
cidences" between Buddhism and Chris
tlanity. he took occasion to denounce
the professors opinions as rank heresy,
and waved away the alleged .'cOinci-
dences' by declaring that the Buddhist
stories were heather fables. whereas the
stories Of the New Testament were not
parallels but actual facts. supported by
abundant evidence, citing the miracle
OF the loaves and fishes as a case in
point. He added that when some old
fable was dug up in the Eastern World
and pitted against the gospels. he pre-
ferred the latter every time.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Nearly the Same THING.

Wfe-I suppose you think no women ever
pauses 20 reflect?
H'Hsoand-Well. frequently sce them pausing
70 he rehec'ed-when they pass 4 mirror. you
know.-Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Not Violently Insane.

''What would become OF You. hubby, If you
lost mei"
Il should go crazy dear"
"Would you marry againY"
'Oh. no! ] shouldn't be so crazy as that" -
Fliegende Blaetter
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
With Variations.

Oh, the hayrak,s click
In my old Kentucky home;
Inc coloneis are busy making hay,
Ana there's juice OF the corn
Underneath each cock that's shorn-
In my old Kentucky hornc-far away
Mount Morris Gll.D Index
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Cailu Calendar of American History
Octnber Is.

ISl2-U. s. sloop Of war. Wasp. captured
British sloop Frolic.
1SS3-Centennial Of disbanding Of army
OF the Revolution celebrated at
Newburg, y. Y.
1S9S-Cnited States in possession of Por-
to Rico. Spain retiring
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Taking It PhilosonhicaIlu-

Don't YOU feel at all nervous about having
your son play football. Mrs sprosIyinsf''
mo. would rather see him dead than
married to the girl he's engaged to'-New
York Herald
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Is She Sixteen?

To the Editor Of The Washington Times:
Ann, to my mind is a foolish little hit Of
femininity II she is not sweet sixteen.
ONE OF THE SEVEN WISE MEN.
Washington, Oct. Il.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18

There are complaints OF the Weather
Bureau because it doesn't invariably
4 a message came from heaven saying
that a hurricane would arrive at 6
O'Clock the next morning the streets
would be full OF sight-seers.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18

We are told that the Alaska Com
mission win rear a monument to In
ternational peace and goodwill; and
the country IS waiting to see whether
international peace and goodwill is 70
be under the monument or not.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18

Burglars in White Plains, n. Y, are
progressive enough TO use an automo-
bile. The old-fashioued burglar is good
enough for the ordinary citizen.
The Washington times., 1903-10-18
Which Is Pight2

To the Editor Of The Washington Times:
Ny algebra is old and musty, but have cal
culated AIMS age. nevertheless. can get two
answers-eighteen and thirty. Which is right9
PUZZLED.
Washington, Oct. II.