Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-05-09

your baby'S saying" 1T Is n queer
language, isn't it," Eyes, sort of early
English"
too much antifat How is she now7
Sword Swallower-Oh In reduced cir
cumstances.
"And so you ran away from your
wife to enlist in the army. What did
you do that for?' I'm a lover OF
peace. Life.
Visitor cat insane asylum)-My! these
are bad cases. aren't they? Guide
Yes, sir. This is the ping-poug ward
Town Topics.
Customer-Have you anything that
Is good for falling hair? Facetious
Clerk-How would waste-basket dor
Chicago Daily News.
Father-In choosing a wife one
should never judge by appearances.
Son-That's right Often the prettiest
girls have the least money.
There is one thing certain remark
ed the Observer of Events and Things;
IF we all have to use soft coal. it viii
seem hard. Yonkers Statesman.
He (who has offended her)-Won't
You look up at me? Shelf did,
you'd kiss me again. He-No; honest
won't. She-Thcu what's the use?-
Life.
Sammy-What is political harmony,
Uncle sam? Uncle Sam Political
harmony Sammy, is any period in poll
ties when there is nothing doing
Puck
She-You must not kiss me until we
are formally engaged. He-Do you
mean to say that you always Insist
upon that rule? She-I've always tried
to.--Judge.
Lawyer-The jury has brought in a
sealed verdict in your case. Prisoner
Well, tell the court that they needn't
open it on my account Glasgow
Evening Times.
The Lady Did any one call while L
was out? The Maid -No, ma'am. Tho
Lady That's very strange wonder
what people think have an lat home
day" -Mooushne.
She-But most opponents turn out
SO dlsastrously. He-Yes; but every
body expects them TO- You save all
that trouble of keeping up appearances
after the ceremony. Judge,
Mrs. Blobbs-~I quite thought You
had forgotten us, Miss Gusher. Miss
Gushcr- Well, have bad memory
for faces as "A rule. but / should not DO
likely to forget yours, Punch.
Visitor Young man, | hope that
when you are free you will turn over
n new leaf. COnvict-Sure | will. The
lawyer | hire the next time will be
better one Chicago Daily News,
On the piazza: Ethel-Oh, Mae! I'm
in such quandary! Old Mr.. ROxe has
proposed to me and | don't know
whether love him or not. Mae-Why
not look him up in Bradstreet Judge.
To their liking: rs your family
fond of cereals, Mrs. Jumpup" "Oh.
very! we're reading several In tho
Parlor Portfolio now, nd can't hardly
wait from week t week. - Pbiladel-
phla Bulletin.
pardonable ignorance; Let me see"
said the man at the desk, pausing with
his pen in air. who was the author OF
Twice Told Tales" "Chauncey De-
pew, wasn't ~" suggested the man at
the other desk.-Chlcago Tribune.
THAT friend Of yours seems to havo
n clear conscience" NO" answered
Senator Sorghum mot clear con-
science; merely bad memory which
with some people answers the purpose
much better Washington Star.
"Kape alive, Mike; we're rescuin'
ye." Voice from the DebrisIs big
Clancy up there wild yei "Snre he is"
Voice from the Deep-Ast him wud he
be so kind az Z step aft the rooins.
I've enough on top Nv me wldout him.
-Tit-Bits
Kentucky is one Of the liveliest
States in the Union" remarked the
young man. at is" answered Colonel
Stlwell. beyond q doubt. WhcA /
was last there every man I met was
running for office or for his life
Washington Star.
Principal Wen, did you get that
money owing by Smith? Collector
Tm sorry to say did not There were
n number Of Smiths at that address,
all Of whom denied being your debtor.
one even threw me out. Principal
That's the one Gail on him again.
Mrs Bcnham Half theworld doesn't
know how the other half lives. Ben
ham Then half the world must be I'M
married men. Mrs Bcnhum--What
makes you think sof Brnham If they
were married men their wives would
find ont ana tell them Brooklyn Life.
say" remarked the impatient pas
senger on the New York cross-town
car. don't you ever 70 any faster than
thist' Don't get gay" snapped the
conductor. III it don't suit yer yer kin