davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
The End of the World!

A somewhat learned professor Of a
French university met his class the
other day with the serious announce
ment that, since the end Of the world
was evidently coming, he would not
lecture any more, but would devote
his time to preparing for death. DR..
Ressinger, who Is in charge of q
French asylum, states that a dozen
new cases have been brought in, raw
Ing solely about the comet meeting
the earth, and hence reducing the
world to ashes. The Republican Ar
dennais, a provincial paper, reports
that in the Ardennes mountains two
entire villages are abandoned. the In
habitants having retired to wild
gorges in order to fast and pray and
prepare for their coming doom.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
A BOY" AT sIxrY.EIoHY.
New Workers. Playful Comment
Somewhat Elderly Friend.

Somewhat Elderly Friend.
Two elderly men were conspicuouf
che other morning in a Sixth Avenue
elevated train. They entered at Cd
posite ends of the car. One was short
slow and heavy of tread, and yet obvi
ously anxious to appear spry and
youthful. The other was tall, spare
and active. and only gave token of ad
vanced years by the business with
which ne busted the car seat before
settling down to his morning paper,
says the New York Times.
AS the crowd thinned out at Park
Place the two men caught sight o.
each other and the tall one moved over
to a seat alongside his friend.
How spry you are for your age!"
remarked the short one. with symp
tom Of envy in his tone.
"Age?" exclaimed the other. "Why
have not begun yet to grow old. |
am only seventy-four.
We'll, WELL" pulled the stout one
ARE you seventy-four? / didn't think
you were older than am. am only
sixty-eight" @
why" exclaimed the lean one, tap
ping his companion playfully on the
knee, you are quite a boy YETI
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
Not in the House.

Representative MacCartney Of the
Massachusetts, legislature tells the
story of an associate who, on being
elected to the general court of the
state for the first time, was very great
~ impressed with the dignity of his
Office. One night he was sleeping
sound1y when his wife heard, or
thought she heard, noise. She tried
to arouse her spouse and found 1t far
from easy. Giving him hard shake
she whispered:
John, John, wake up! There are
thieves in the house"
mo, no, Maria, you are mistaken
he answered; there may be one or
two in the senate, but there are none
In the house."-New York Times.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
Popular In Iowa,

Grand View, Iowa, Dec. 29th.-The
most complete satisfaction is express
ed In this district over results obtain
ed recently by using Dodd's Kidney
Pills for those complaints resulting
from diseased Kidneys. This satisfac-
ton finds frequent expression In
words. People who have been cured
seem to take pleasure in telling Of 1t.
Take what Mrs. Lydia Parker says
for example,:
IL was trouble with Back Ache"
says Mrs. Parker. And all the time
when was STOPPING over stitch
would take me in the back, and I
could not straighten up for while.
II sent and got couple of boxes Of
Dodd's Kidney Pills and before | had
finished taking the first, the stitch
had gone and 1t has not been back
since"
Other people here have had similar
experiences with Dodd's Kidney Pills
and their popularity is steadily on the
increase.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
spEAkERsHlP OF THE HOUSE.
Only One ohio Man Has Held tn.

Only One Ohio Man Has Held the
office--No New Yorker Since 1872.
Among the earliest duties which will
devolve upon the recently el"cted
members of the Fifty-eighth Congress
will be the choice OF speaker. and
present indications make 1t probable
that the speaker will be chosen from
the west.
The speaker OF the Fifty-seventh
Congress, David b. Henderson, was the
first to be chosen from the territory
west of the Mississippi.
The first speaker was F. A. Mullen.
burg of Pennsylvania. The post OF
speaker was held In the Twenty-fourth
and Twenty-fifth Congresses by James
K. Polk. afterward president.
Speakers Of the House Of Represen,
tatives who have been candidates for
president are numerous and include
Henry Clay, John Bell and James Il,
Blaine. Schuyler Colfax after having
been speaker, was vIce president OF
the United States.
The oldest surviving speaker Is
Galusha A. Grow, born in 1898 and
speaker from 1861 to 1868. ~ E a.
The last Democratic speaker
Charles F. Crisp, was native of Eng
land. Two surviving speakers, John
G. Carlisle and Thomas b. Reed
though elected Representatives In
Kentucky and Maine respectively, are
now residents of the city. of New
York. sa.
There has never been a speaker
from the Pacific coast and 1t is a some
what curious circumstance that Ohio,
though prereminent In nearly all otheI
political offices, has had In the coun
trys history but one speaker, John W.
Kiefer, who served only a single term
The state Of New York has had no
speaker since the close Of the Nine
teenth Congress in 1897, though New
York has been, during the whole OF
that period, the most populous state
and the one having the largest con
gressional representation.
The speaker of the Fifty-eighth con
gress when chosen will preside over
a larger number of Members of Con
gress than any Of his predecessors. the
total membership of the next houg
being 3S6.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

In recent lecture to his people.
Booker t. Washington told them that
there Is little or nothing to be obtain
ed without work, adding: There
was an old negro, professionally
pious, who wanted luxurious Christ
mas dinner, and who night after
might, prayed to the Lord to send him
turkey. The days passed. Christ,
mas approached, and the old fellow
undertook to compromise by asking
the Lord to send him to a turkey,
He got one that very night"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
7 Under date of January 10. 1897, DIR.
~ Hartman received the following

~ Hartman received the following
letter:
my wife had been suffering from a
complication of diseases for the past IS
years.
Her case had baffled the skill of some
of the most noted physicians. One of her
worst troubles was chronic constipation of
several years standing.
She also was passing through that most
critical period in the life of woman
change of life. In June, 1895 l wrote TO
you about her case. You advised n course
of Peruna and Manalin. which we at once
commenced, and have to say II completely
cured her. She firmly believes that she
would have been dead only for these
wonderful remedies.
About the same time | wrote you about
my own case of catarrh. which had been Of
Is years standing At times / was almost
past going. commenced TO use Peruna
according to your instructions and continued
its use for about year, and II has COM
pletely cured me.
"Your remedies do all that you claim
for them, and even more. Cafarrf
cannot exist where Peruna is taken
according TO directions. Success to
you and your remedies.
John o. Atkinson.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
|EIlJrlG9I)'
lOF THE. ElN'
The pessimist in business.

Hello, Bilderdick! Are you still run.
uing the Waybach Whooper?"
''No, Peavick. Threw it up some
line since. Couldn't please every.
oody."
What was the trouble?"
Every advertiser wanted top Of
column and couldn't fix it. I'm in
zeal estate now"
That suits you better, eh?"
s "Oh, no. just the same old trouble.
Can't lay out plan that'll give every
buyer a corner lot"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
Mere Mot Needed rh.re.

"Is he a young man of brains!" in,
quired an old gentleman respecting
a swell youth. =
"Well, really" replied his daughter,
81 have had no opportunity of judg'
ing. never met him anywhere ex'
cept in society"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
Was Taking Chances.

Poor Fred's voice actually trembled
when he proposed to me-"
Yes. he told me he was scared al.
most to death lest you discovered that
20 wa, accustomed to using that for
LA The Commoper.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
Didn't Want Tie Game

Ella-Are you glad that Harvard
beat Yale?
Stella-Well, I'm glad that some
body won. l always bet kiss on the
result, and twice there have been tie
games.-Judge. -
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
His Preference.

That man must have been bit Of
wag who, when advertising in a
| matrimonial paper for "a nice young
girl, Of affectionate disposition. will
ing to make good-looking bachelor
happy" added the words, Previous
experience not necessary" ~
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
The Youth of To-Day.

Visitor-That fellow seems rathe,
pert; acted as If he knew more than
you.
Naturally.
Visitor-Why Naturally?
Merchant-He's my son.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

We offer One Hundred Dollars reward for any
case OF Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls
Catarrh Cure.
f. ]. CHENEY & CO., Props. Toledo. O.
Cheney for the last is years and believe him
perfectly honorable In all business transactions
and financially able to carry out any obliga-
Ions made by their firm.
West & Truax, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo
o.; Walding, Kinnan g. Marvin, Wholesale
Druggists Toledo, Ohio
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken Internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces
OF the system. Testimonials sent free Price
75c per bottle. Sold by all druggists.
Halls Family Pills are the best
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
The wronu Man.

ooh, dad, look at the football play.
er!" exclaimed the Christmas boy.
excitedly. '...
Hush, my son." said the parent.
reprovingly. That's not a football
player-that's an author who can't
make money enough to have his hair
cut!"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

The president of Alma college, Mich
igan, says the football team of that In.
stitution always precedes a contest
with prayer. This is the orthodox
way of preparing for death.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Don't you know that Defiance
Starch, besides being absolutely SUI
perior to any other, is put up 16
ounces in package and sells at same
price as Bounce package of other
kinds?
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
The Critics.

Ida-"They say it was case Of love
at first sight with him"
May-"What a pity he wasn't a
medium and could have taken a second
sight"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

A powder. Your feet feel uncom-
Portable, nervous and often cold and
damp. II you have sweating, sore feet
or tight shoes, try Aliens FootE Ease.
Sold by all druggists and shoe stores,
rs cents. Sample cent free. Address
Allen s. Olmsted. LIE Roy. N. Y.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

II you don't get the biggest and best
It's your own fault. Defiance Starch
is for sale everywhere and there Is
positively nothing to equal it in quail.
ity or quantity.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

The Madrid newspapers are busy
now seeing trouble ahead for Cuba.
Naturally such an outlook will cause
the Spaniards the deepest regret.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
Pulled the Rope Himself.

Growells Cat the theater)-Mrs.
Neighbors certainly does look charm.
ing tonight
Mrs. Growells-Yes She has hus.
band who likes to see her dressed de,
sently and isn't too grouchy to pay for
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Efforts to stamp out the foot and
mouth disease should be extended to
the man who never opens the one with.
out putting the other in it.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

DR.. Lawrence's speclaltreatment cures
Dyspepsia. Guaranteed, soc. Lawrence
Co., Des Moines, la. Sample free.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
nea,tIful Indian territory.

The last large tract Of fine unculti-
waited land to be thrown open for set
Element. ..... ...
A copy Of an attractive book about
present day conditions in this won
derful country will be sent on request.
james Barker, Genl Pass. Agent, M.
X. & T. Ry., sol Wainwright Bldg, st.
ouis
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Dropsy treated free by DR.. Fl. II. Green's
Sons, of Atlanta, Ga. The greatest dropsy
specialists in the world. Read their adver-
tisement in another column of this paper
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

! am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years ago-Mrs. Thos.
Robbins. Maple Street, Norwich, N. Y, Feb.
II 1000
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Don't set much store by genius;
the diligent workers are buying up
the earth
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
DEFIANCE STARCH

should be in everv household, none so
good. besides OF. more for 10 cents than
any other brand of cold water starch.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
The Woman Usually Does.

We'll" said she, as she laid down
the book, that's what call splendid
story" r|'-
Held your interest, eh?" he re-
marked casually.
Indeed, 1t did; down to the last
word" .. ...
The heroine had that, of course"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

What the modern airship navigator
needs Is safety anchor and some
thing to anchor to.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
THE BEST RESULTS IN srARcHINo

The way to succeed nowadays Is
to have had success first.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Adversely is the sauce of life; but
a lot of us don't care for sauce.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

During a voyage from Manila to
Australia, the ship is out of sight
of land for two days only.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Dealers in old saws invariably rope
in the scenes of their childhood.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Defiance Starch is put up 16 ounces
in the package, 10 cents. One-third
more starch for same money.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Aunt Jemima's Pancake Flour Is guaran-
teed to make the best pancakes you ever ate,
or money refunded. All grocers sell it.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
RUSS RLEACHING BLuI

dead desperate has more attrac.
ton for the crowd than a live seer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Love laughs at locksmiths, but he
daren't laugh at wedlock.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Parents make negligent children
by allowing them to be negligent and
do negligent things. .-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
In Winter Use Aliens Foot. Ease

The man who Is willing to help you
Is usually unable to help himself.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
IOWA BUsinESS COLLEGE

Has the largest enrolment, the finest equipment,
and tho strongest faculty of any commercial college
In the west Bookkeeping. Banking. Office Prac-
tice, shorthand. Typewriting, Telegraphy,
Civil Service, English, Penmanship.
Tho best penman and the finest collection ofpen
art in the state. First premium Iowa State Fair.
For free catalogue and specimen. address, j. r.
Hutchison. Pres. Des Mones. Iowa.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

When a family has a black sheep
It keeps dark about 1t.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Some folks remember the Sabbath
day to keep it wholly for pleasure.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

People who always say what they
think usually think a lot of disagree
able things. ....
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Conversation is divided into three
distinct classes: Matterof-fact, mat
ter-of-falsehood and no-matter-atall.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

To Cure a Gold in One day.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money If it fails to cure 25c.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Matrimony is like rope walk-lots
OF twists in It,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

A gentleman OF leisure excels II
doing nothing gracefully.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
MANY school children Are sIckiy.

DIR. Soapandwater is sworn enemy
to all disease.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Many School Children Are SIckIy.
Mother Gray Sweet Powders for Children.
used by Mother Gray. a nurse in Children's
Home, New York, break up Colds in "a hours.
cure Feverishness, Headache. Stomach
Troubles Teething Disorders and Destroy
Worms. At all druggists. 25c. Sample mailed
free. Address Allen S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup
For children teething, sofens the gums reduces in
Illumination, allays pain, cures wind collie. 25c bottle
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

The people who don't know the val.
ne of money seldom have any.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

A fact is an alarm clock which
spoils pleasant drems.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

WHEN YOU BUY BLUEING
insist on getting Russ Bleaching Blue. Don't
take q cheap initiation All grocers, Zoe.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

can be obtained only by using Defiance
Starch, besides getting o. more for
same money--no cooking required.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

After losing his heart a young man
often loses his head.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

II you are coughing take DIR. Au-
gust Koenig's Hamburg Breast Tea.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

Magnet Pile Killer Cures Piles.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01
How.s Tbis7

A man OF resources isn't always a
man of means.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-01-01

should be in every home. Ask your grocer 10
it and take no substitute. i0c package.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-05-23
4 Clever Ring Trick.

A clever trick may be very success
fully performed as follows: Have
ready two or three plain gilt rings.
worth dime or so, and slip one into 4
boys pocket; borrow 4 plain gold ring
from some one present and insist on
marking it so it may be safely re-
turned. Call one of the children, have
your marked ring, your counterfeit
ring and magician's wand ready. Beg
leave to slip the marked ring on the
wand yourself and dcXterously substl-
tute the counterfeit ring held in your
hand. Beg the person you have called
out upon TO throw the ring on the stick
out of the window. After moments
deep meditation tell him he has de-
ceivcd you and the ring is at that mo-
ment in So-and-so's pocket. Beg the
person into whose pocket you have
slipped the first ring to search for it.
Re close at hand, take the ring and
before any one can look dispose of it
and show the marked ring.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-05-23
WOMEN and Jewels.

Jewels, candy, flowers, man
that Is the order of woman's pref
erences. Jewels form a magnetic
mighty power to the average wo-
man. Even that greatest of all
Jewels, health, Is often ruined In
the strenuous effort to save the
money to purchase them. If a
woman will risk her health to get
a coveted gem. then let her fortify
herself against the insiduous conse-
quences of coughs, colds and bron.
chial affections by regular use Of
DR.. Boschee's German Syrup. 1t
will promptly arrest consumption
In Its early stages and heatl the az
fected lungs and bronchial tubes
and drive the dread disease from
the system. It Is not a cure all
but 1t Is a certain cure for coughs
colds and all bronchial troubles.
You can get DR.. Green's reliable
remedies at D. A. Hendershot's
Get Green's Special Almanac.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-05-23
A Startling Test.

To save a life, DR.. T. G. Merritt
of No. Mehoopany, Pa, made a
startling test resulting In a won
derful cure. He writes, "a patient
was attacked with violent hemor-
rhages, caused by liberation OF the
stomach. I had often found Elec-
trio Bitters excellent for acute
stomach and liver troubles so I
prescribed them. The patient
gained from the first and has not
had an attack In fourteen months. "
Electric Bitters are positively guar
anteed for dyspepsia, Indigestion,
constipation and kidney troubles.
Try them. Only soc at D. A.
Hendershot's.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-05-23
WhOOpIng Cough,

A woman who has had expert
ence with this disease, tells how to
prevent any dangerous consequence
es from 1t. She says. Our three
children took whooping cough last
summer, our baby boy being only
three months old, and owing to our
giving them Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy, they lost none of
plumpness and came out IN much
better health than other children
whose parents did not use this
remedy. Our Oldest girl would call
Justify for cough syrup between
whoops. -JEss1E PINKEY HALL,
Springville, Ala. This Remedy IS
for sale by c. w. Grier.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-05-23
Sues For $500.

Leroy Plerpoint, of Alma, through
his attorneys Strickling, Foreman
& Carter, of Middlebourne, entered
suit against the South Penn for
damages to his land. The suit
arises from the removal by the en-
ployees of the South Penn of a
boiler, pipe lines, etc, from the
land of the plaintiff, greatly cutting
up and damaging said land.
The trespassers were arrested
Tuesday, gave bond and again
proceeded with the removal.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-05-23
Church Announcements.

On the fourth Sunday of June,
the cath, at Spring Hill, after
preaching, at 1920, candidates will
be baptized IN the mode they de-
sire.
Rev. c. L. Queen, president of
West Virginia Conference, NJ. P.
church, will visit McKim circuit, as
follows: Monday, June 18th, at
Spring HUI, 1880 a. m. and 8 P,
N. Tuesday, the 10th, Fairview,
at 1880 and Pleasant Valley at s
o'clock. Wednesday, the 26th,
McKim, 1850 a. NJ, Wick s P. m.
Thursday, the 18th, Plum Run,
1880, Bethel Cove Rum 3 P. m.
and Hebron s p. IN
OLIVER LOwTHER,
Pastor.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1903-05-23
A Strange Bird.

Just why the baya should light up
his dwelling with frcflicS, which he
catches and faStcnS to the wall of lis
nest, nobody can tell. Some say it is
because he doesn't like the darkness;
others that it is to dazzle the eyes O.!
plund2rin@ bats. while others say that
lie does not care for Tie light. but only
wants to cat the lircNiCS. III" birds
like to build their nests near others OF
the same Kind. and orc Traveller says
lie has seen - many aS Il hundred OF
these nests hanging from the caves Of
one cottage.