The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-10-11
FUN or THE WORLD.


remarked to American guest: What a lot OF you
americans every summer Yes
piled the fair american. England has come TO be
favor1te summer resort for Americans Well we won't
complain of that. said Shaw. but heavens sake
don't make ii winter also"
Once upon time Professor Wilson Edinburgh.
wrote on the blackboard in his laboratory:
Professor Wilson informs students that he has
this day been appointed physician the Queen
In the course Of the morning he had occasion to leave
the room found his that a student had
added to the announcement the words:
God save the Queen"
interesting and racy character. according
Senator Hear. Judge Theron Metcalf. who used
of himself that he was taken ill in the
court people take old hat TO stop broken WIN
dow" He hated statutes. and occasion when
he asked have the legislature pass simplifying
court proceedings in and told that
that effect already existed. replied with
great disgust II have said sir that IL they did
repeal that thing 1 would read
q
While in England, Henry Ward Bescher enter
by gentleman believed spiritualism and
himself medium. day he asked IL Beecher
like talk with the spirit his father. DR.. Ly
Beecher Mr. Beecher replied that II would please
him immensely. After the he ask
ed how it impressed him, which the twinkle in
eye Beecher responded Au say is that IL
deterorate fast for the first years after
dead as my poor father has. 1 shall ark-naked
fool"
ssEs
The Manila American discovered .'the champion
circulation liar He is acting editor OF the Thunder
ing Dawn a Buddhist organ just Tokyo Here
is his greeting 10 public This paper has from
eternity. starts its circulation with millions and mil
lions The OF the the beams OF the
stars the the blades the
grains the of tigers elephants lions ants
men and women subscribers This journal viii
henceorth flow in the universe the rivers flow and the
surge
< 4 z
1t that when he first visited Ireland Thack-
cray took a Dublin some distance into the
Mesones had recently been erected along the
roads and on each was printed the miles
the letters .G P. o.. distances being measured from
the postoce. Thackeray unaware Of this.
and in information asked the car1nan what
letters meant The prompt reply was: God preserve
O'ConneI' Thackeray believed what he was told but
only appeared in the first edition of his book
x x Y <
Edgar Van Etten president of the Boston & Al
bany railroad. that time ago he introduced
system getting information to the destruction
of farmers property along the line of the railroad A
blank was prepared give the OF the animal killed.
the kind animal other information explains the
New York Times. A space reserved for an answer
to the following question:
Disposition of carcass?'
A hagman whose duty il to make report on this
blank opposite the line last named:
Kind and gentle
q q q Sg
1t was the of certain minister when dining at
the of his best friends 10 consume glass OF
milk and then without ado fall TO and enjoy the
spread always elaborate when he was expect
whenthe minister was scheduled to appear
instead of the milk delicious and creamy,
his friend placed beside his plate good stout rich glass
punch clearly and ceverly prepared that 1t re-
natures concocton to nicely The dinner hour
duly short blessing the minister seized
his glass and quafed. a not move. not an
exclamation did make until the beverage was con-
sumed and then exclaimed he pushed the glass
him, closed his eyes and smacked his hPe; An
a glorious GOVT"
&c sE
In Judge Cowing's division of the court Of general
sessions the other day white trial for rob-
bling negro second negro who happened TO be the
only eyewitness of the affair was on the stand and the
attorney for the asked him how happened that
he had given particular attention to it, relates the
York Times
THANK Cayd sub" the witness broke out, that yuh
axed me dat question. dis saw dat white
comm along carryn' dat niggahs vaiise an knew
somethin up"
how did know from that that something
was up?" persisted the counsel.
We'll subj answered the witness. whenever yuh see
a white gentleman carryin' e niggahs vase yuh can
make up you min dat sometimes don.
x x x Il
In Arizona where buys thousand head OF
steers it customary allow him ten cent cut
Old Colonel Cray was selling train load 20 young
Californian his business and though nothing
had been said about the cut the buyer making the
accustomed selections the colonel happened along In
an Ill humor and forbade further choice where
upon take the cattle The rate colo
mel swore great oath, loaded his steers, and started
for Nevada but finding sale for them there, he
swore and took his train 70 Colorado. then
TO Kansas Nebraska, until he had spent the
worth of his transportation, and had loaded
and unioaded until they looked like famine in dry
land At last in desperation be began selling few AZ
time. from the plains came IN 20 biy a
band Can you load EN- the kears? he asked oh.
said the exasperaed colonel when those steers hear the
foot of locomotive you can't hold en- They'll run forty
miles and climb aboard themselves"
K < * x
Thomas Nelson Page novelist great liking for
coiored people and they turn, Ike him.
Moses stebbin is a good fTiend Of mine Mr Page
said at dinner party morning met him on horse-
back and he chucklns.
What's the joke. Nose asked.
De joke is sab he answered, dat sh'ye jes' won
a quahtah dish yah hoss.
How did you win st. asked.
All won hit dis away Dab a white papah On
de read an Dc h0ss oat an bet quaftah he
ewine to shy al papah- he take De bet sab
an den he lost hit animal SHE'D Ike de eeh
wei you've wen The bet. Nose. but you'll have
some difficulty in collecting H.. said J.
e Oh no. sab: no. sab. trouble beat dat IiEah.
hyah Eyah Abs gw5ue ter collect de bet al night
.IIoW on earth wrl you collect IL
wy tornorrer dc rnahster he's sEia tsr gimme
doIah 70 bay feed 20 dish ser nag Wei a. jes' keep
osst e. De feed money de q1ahtah vat an oEed ne