The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-01-30

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that something wonderful happened to-
me. Did it?'
VIVA would you consider wonderful
Aladdin laid a finger on his forehead; he
ANECDOTES FROM ANYWHERE.
Rear Admiral Watson tells an inter
esting story in regard to F~arragut-
with Whom he served. Before the bat
tie of Mobile bay q strict blockade was
maintained, but in spite of the utmost
vigilance some vessels in the employ OF
the enemy succeeded in ~gettingdn. One
day Watson captured a contraband
schooner. Its captain, when brought
before Admiral Farragut, swore SOL
EMMY that he had a cargo of grain con-
signed to Matamoras.
How came you, then, to Mobile
bay?' asked Farragut.
L was blown in out Of ny course
by e northeast gale" replied the block
runner, whose geographical knowledge
of the gulf was limited.
Ho, ho!" reared F~arragut, 80 You
have been blown northeast by a north
east gale. That being the case wen
just hold you for your laundering bad
navigation" and he ordered the fellow
imprisoned.
Something in the Ohio political sitr-
alton gave displeaSure to Senator Han
ma a day or two ago and he was COM
planning to one Of his henchmen that
s~o-and-so had not been done
You did not tell me to do it," pro-
tested the Ohio man.
THAT makes no difference" snapped
the senator. You should have done
it anyway"
The smaller politician said: Senator.
I'm willing to obey your orders, but
how long do you think I should last IL
u took to anticipating them?"
+IE ~. n - -. =aLl. .-aEtEH
Senator Elkins of West Virginia IL.
his young days was a railroad station
agent out west, his office being a box
car on a siding. He tells the story on
himself that one day in checking up Q
carload of immigrants effects he could
not find a bureau called for by the way
bill. He was In possession, however,
of a vigorous u jackass that was
not down in the bill. So he wired to
the shipping agent:-
Il am short one bureau and lone one
jackass."
The answer came back.
You are O.. K. That bureau was .
burro." .
Two men were walking behind an els~
gantly dressed woman the other day.
"Did you ever see me hypnotic q.
woman?" asked one.
"Nonsensei" the other sneered.
Bet you 81 l can make that womaM
ahead Of us touch both her ears be-
fore she has gone half a block"
ID you know her?"
mo. Never saw her BEFORE
What would you do to herr"
Nothing but walk behind her. I
won't touch her"
VIVA would you say to her?"
Nothing; not a word
And you'll make her touch both her
hands to her ears without touching her
or speaking to herr"
Yes, sir"
We'll, it'll be worth 81 to see you do.
it. I'll have to go YOU"
Very we'll! Watch now!" In a tone
loud enough for the woman to hear he.
said to his companion: Charley, how
do you like the new fashion the women
have of wearing only one ear-ring?.
Instantly the woman clapped one
gloved hand and then the other to her,
ears to see If she had lost one Of her
sparklers.
"It'll work every time, said the win
ner. You can make good wages hct-
ting on 1t If you can find suckers
enough to take you up
go: -:
What is believed to be a. new story OF
the late Senator Evarts has been dug
up. In the early>days Of the Hayes adj
ministration, when Mr.. Evarts was sec.
rotary of state, the members of the.
cabinet were discussing matters in an
- way OLG IloIllllS, WQSn the
president mentioned that he had made
a few appointments without consulting
his official family, the a%ppointees being
personal friends. All the places filed
happened to fall within the state de-
partment. Secretary Evarts turned to,
John Sherman and said, with a twinkle:
in his eye:
Il have often heard and read abont
the western reserve Of Ohio, but I must
it."
W. S. Gilbert, who wrote the sardon
ically humorous librettas for Arthur
viewers. One Of these venturesome
gentlemen visited him at his country
place, but could not get him to talk.
Finally the newspaper man, hoping to-
decoy the crusty Scot into saying some.
thing hat might be worked into an ar
ticle, said to the librettist:
you have a lovely view here, MI.
Gilbert
Yes, I know" was the answer. II
built the house here because of the
view, but the views getting on my
nerves now, for the first thing every
fool who comes down here says Isl:
What a lovely view you've got, Mr.
Gilbert!' I'm tired of the view. I'm
sick of the view, confound the view
Good day to you, sir"
Opie Read, the novelist md play
wright, did some work for a new Chi
cago syndicate some time ago.. The SYM
dictate manager gave Opie a check for
$50 in payment. The check was cashedp
by Reads grocer, and after passing.
through several hands came back.
marked mo funds" Opie hunted IN,
the syndicate man and told him about
it.
What! The check no goodgr Asked
the astonished author of that donn--
ment.
mot worth a red" said Opie. You
accept my stories, but the bank will not
accept your check. It does not seem.
fair"