The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1903-06-04
The Mule Thdt
Went to Jersey
'sI GOT so aggravated" said the man

gumption enough to say anythln, L
says, git often that cracker bar'l,' l
says.
"'Cause the stranger that got outen
his wagon and tied his wall-eyed boss
to the hitchin' post in front Of the
Eddy store had confe m lookin' sour
er than a vinegar bar'l, and l could see
that if his whiskers hadn't "a been
dyed they'd been as yaller as dandy
lines in a medder. He looked around,
sort O. snitlin and snortin', and he
says:
Pm headed for Jersey says he,
and | can't git there none too soon,
says he.
Il seen to once that the Teller was
stickin' up his nose at the Knob coun-
try, and first l felt sorry fer him fer
bein' so misguided, but after another
look around, and a sniffin' and snort
in ag'in at what he see, he says:
I'm pinin' for Jersey! And the
more l look around me here he says,
the more pine!'
Then that stickin' of his nose up
at the Knob country got to be agger-
vatin', and | didn't feel sorry for him
no more. Nose he sot on the cracker
barl where he didn't have no business
to be, cause he can't talk, and the
cracker barl is always the place for
the man to set on who can talk l
sot on the kit o. mack'ral and the idee
of man who can talk bein' squatted
on a kit o mack-ral!
'Simon was a leetle wan and weary,
cause business was slack, and was lay
in on the counter with his head rest
in on roll o. calico. Job was strad-
die o. the slab bottom cheer, chawin'
plug terbacker. None of 'em didn't
seem to pay no attention to the stran-
gers stickin' of his nose up at the
Knob country, and there I was on the
mack'ral kit and couldn't half talk.
$50 when he shifted and snorted and
said he was pinin' for Jersey, and the
more he looked around on to us the
more he pinned, l got so aggravated
that | riz right up often the mack raj
kit and l says to Nose:
Here | says, if you amt got
gumption enough to say anythin',' 1
says, git often that cracker bar'l!'
says.
"And Nose elm often the cracker
barl and l elm on to it, and 1 says to
the Teller who was pinin for Jersey;
. Ever been to Jersey?' l says to
him.
Ever been there! he says, looBin'
around some more, and sniffin' and
snortin'. Why, sandfeas a-hoppin'!
! was born there!' he says.
"Then l sort o. felt sorry for the
Teller ag'in, but he shifted and snort
ed and turned up his nose at the Knob
country worsen ever, and my aggerva-
ton come back to wunst.
Many more jest like you down
there?' l says, sort o snippy.
"'Many more he says. Hull town.
ships of em!' he says. Jest like me-
he says, only Dustin sight more so!
he says.
"'Then,' says I, that explains some
thin. That explains it, l says. sure
as grass a-growin'!' l says. 4 never
knowed no one but old Joe's Eberezei
that'd ever been to Jersey says.
"'And I'll bet you a two-year crap o
cramberries that he's braggin' on il
yit' says the sour-lookin' Teller, stick
in up his nose more and more ag'ir
the Knob country.
Ono 1 says, he amt
"'Say,' says the Teller, huffy as San
Hill DO you mean to set there OF
that cracker bar'l and tell me tina
he's sayin' anything ag'in it p he says
Ono says l. & don't, cause h,
never said word aginit, saysI. No
a durn word says 1.
"'Should say not the Teller saws
sAnd he hadn't BETTER says he, sniffin
and snortin'.
"And l grinned and said that h.
could count sure on it that Ebeneze
never would, and then l sot squar
on the cracker bar'l and says:
"'Somethin' like three year ago
says, old Joe traded a tract o. hem
lock, back O. the Knob, for farm
some'rs' way down in Jersey. One da-
he says to Shorty, which was his hire
man and good un:
Shorty" says he, there amt n
sort o use. We've got to do somethir
with Ebenezer. The better treat hir
the meaner he acts.
'''"He won't go and pillow, he won
work in haydn, he won't do nothir
that amt cussedness. He I'D an
kicked the gray mare in the belly tlri
mornin', and she won't be worth
snip for a week. He got mad at tn
old woman and chased her from tn
cowyard clear to the house and int
the house and half way up the kitche
stairs.
There amt no livin' with Eb,
nezer any longer. Somethins got t
be done. 1t seems a shame to send hil
out o the Knob country, but I'll ha,
to do it. I'm goin' to send him an
you to work the new farm down j
Shorty, he fit eg'in goin' dow
Jersey" says old Joe.
shorty, he fit ag'in goin' dow
there with Ebenezer, but old Joe WI
sot on it and Shorty and the mule
OH says | to the sour-lookin' felle
did | tell you that Ebenezer was