Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-10-31
REVENGE Is SWEET.

Far be it from me-" remarked Wash
iLgtonian who has been going up and down
the world a good deal Of late years, Ito
Islander the whole tribe Of married men by
making the general and sweeping state
ment that the average married man ex-
periences sort of gloating, ghoulish glee
when a sequence of events gives him
signal vindication in the eyes of his wife;
but there are times
We'll, just now Pm in the enjoyment of
the afterglow of one Of these acutely de-
lightful indications; and If you'll excuse
my hoarseness, which Is attributable to my
prolonged chortling-for it was more fun
for me to win out in this thing than it ever
was for Hannibal to take a city-Tll tell
you about 1t.
\ 1.-Two years ago this last summer my wife
and l, after some months Of aimlesS but
enjoyable wanderings about the continent
left England for New York as passengers
on one of the ten-day steamers. We prefer
the slow boats to the greyhounds, because
We find them more cosy and homelike, as
it were-the slow-boat yoyagers don't feel
called upon to put on Jugs for the pur-
pose of living up to the character OF the
steamer, as they do on board the crowded
speeding liners; and We were in no hurry,
any way.
There were just twenty-six first-cabin
passengers on board this fine big comfort
able ten-day steamer-mostly married
couples They were seasoned voyagers and
congenial people, and all in all can't re-
call more enjoyable ocean ride than that
one.
1.-The voyage had but one flaw-my wife
found something to throw up to me-. She
did 1t gently and amiably, 1t. Is true, being
woman of adroit matrimonial diplomacy:
But what she had to say on the subject l
am going to mention ranked within melt
stuck. to be more expressive.
That which my wife threw up to me
a fJrdn n n
ayers toward his wife. This man was yerg-
ing upon forty, and he was undeniably
clever in the dilletante manner. He knew
books, and art, and music and the world;
had sailed in many waters, was versed in
the languages and had, as the women say,
a way about him. His wife was a pretty
and gracious girl Of twenty-five or twenty
three, vivacious bright. feminine-a wom-
anly woman, and thoroughly wholesome.
We'll, this husbands public treatment OF
his wife was about as perfect and courtly
the pages of piece of fiction. Fact is 1t
made the rest of us married fellows on
board the steamer fell rather oafish even
before our wives had fellen into the habit
of commenting upon that ideal husband
When, however, our wives early in the voy-
age did fall into the habit, most of us
began to conceive a sort of instructive dis
like for that courtly, dilletante husband.
1.-THE pair had not been married very
long: but even that fact does not suffi-
| GENTLY account for the wealth Of attention
which he bestowed upon her. After dinner.
for instance he would take about the half
Of cigarette with the rest of US men in
the smoking room, and then he would re-
join his wife, snuggle alongside of her IN
his steamer chair furtively hold hands with
her, and read Browning and Omar to her.
The rest of us-well, we'd smoke about four
black cigars apiece in the smoking room
after dinner, and then, like as not, we'd en-
gage in little pokerishness until bedtime.
or after. leaving our wives to talk 1t over
In the music room. And the fellow was
forever making pretty compliments to his
wife-not broadly, nor in the transparent
| manner of the married fraud who queers
his game by spreading it on too thickly,
but skillfully. delicately, and as it seemed.
with perfect sincerity. The chap was adept
enough not to make 1t appear that he was
er-offensively in love with his wife; but he
lowered about her, waited upon her. antici-
pated her needS-was, in brief. too scrumtif-
erously nice to her for any use in this wide
| woid-until it began to get on the nerves
of the rest Of uS-the rest of the married
| men, that is to say.
This state of mind would have been suf-
f1ciently bad for us had not our wives, in
the privacy of our cabins opened up on us
with cheerful little dabS as to the ideal
relationship between that husband and
wife. My wife-sghing, and emerging from
a reverie-fIad no complaint to make; GER
tainiy not; all men were not alike nor, in
deed, all women; that were too much to
expect; but, dear me, not a woman
with such gallant. attentive, scrupulously
considerate husband-mercy on us, was not
such a woman to be envied. thought You
know how they get those little dabs in
sort o slantwise, and the phrases quite in
ocuous of sound-but every word barbed
for the fellow who feels in his heart that
he isn't such worse sort Of a husband,
even If he isn't of the sort to attempt to
work the grand manner on his spouse
" The fellows prig, if you want my
opinion l used to say, in self-defense.
when my wife would deliver herself of
o. ~, l..
" "A prg.' she would reply, with an eleva-
ton Of her brows, because he has such
fine understanding Of the nature of wo-
man-because he devotes himself to the
| comfort and happiness of his wife? Because
he cultivateS the-the-er-spiritual rela-
tonshfp that a woman Graves even if she
be married, and that should exist between
all men and their-wives? Impossible! You
do him an fnjustice-because, no doubt
you do not understand him.
" That's all right 1 would get back,
flounderng somewhat helplessly but it
strikes me that he's too Internally good to
be true. 1 don't believe he's on the level
How do we know that he doesn't browbeat
and Dullyrag his wife in private? There
are Chesterfeldian ducks like that, you
know. How do we know that in their
cabin. he doesn't-er-well, pinch her arms?'
" Nonsense my wife would reply to such
suggestions, and that would settle 1t.
Il dislIked that courtly husband as say,
pretty cordially before the end Of the voy-
VOLTA! Now you have the incident up to
the point of the vindication Of which
started to speak.
Recently quite notable divorce trial
was in progress in New York. That courtIy
husband. the chap who was cast into the
teeth of all of us married chaps by our
wives on that voyage was suing his pretty.
gracious and womanly wife for a separa-
ton. The case was finally chucked out of
court by the indignant trial judge, who ex-
pressed his firm conviction that every one
of the charges against the wife had been
deliberately and maliciously trumped UP.
and solemnly stated his entire belief that
the wife had always been good a woman
as the boundaries of the world contained.
And now the wife has pending against the
courtly husband a suit for divorce of her
own, in which 1T is specifically. and with
great elaboration, set forth that he had
been coarsely brutal to her almost from
the hour of their marriages. that, of
course, she must have been suffering under
his cruelty on board the steamer at the
very time the wives of the rest Of us were
calling our attention to his absorption in
and devotion to his wife,
II leave you to imagine the jubilant joy
with which, every evening upon my arri-
I ha cli