Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1903-05-15

big fellow did what no civilized man
would have even thought of doing. He
sent for the doctor and wanted to set
tie his bill. Of course | didn't blame
him, because l knew that he had never
resided in Philadelphia, Washington
or any other civilized city. But he
made my hair stand on end when he
said: The Hi Quong Foy Kee shall
marry my lovely daughter and rule
with me-
"Oh, my! Think of it, Wasn't the
proposed fee, for services rendered.
a corker? Sardines in box are in a
pretty tight place; but where, oh
where, was [? To decline the honor
might mean something serious. No
. body but a citizen of the great and
mighty Yankee nation could have
squirmed out of the situation; partic-
ularly as the lovely daughter was
near by, dressed up in her smiles and
making goo-goo eyes at me. Talk
about flesh creeping; how was to
escape those yawning arms and eX-
uberant lips, and all the honors of
royal marriage? l WAS thinking faster
than freshman at an examination for
sophomore honors and preferment.
There was only one way out of it.
That was, to lie out of it, regardless
of all of my early moral and religious
instructions.
Il never have been, and now
probably never will be, married.
l was certainly not then ready for
ba 1.anIitipp nf In 1 Oh,
ding march, which would have sounded
to ME like the dead march in Saul. L
asked the interpreter to repeat to me
the distinguished honor, saying that
it had taken away my breath, and assur-
ing his majesty that this is sudden
l was sparring for wind, playing for
time, waiting for an inspiration. 1t
came. Through the interpreter | said:
"'Great Favorite of the Gods, this
high honor is not FOR me. l cannot
thus disgrace your noble, royal and
exalted family. In my country, the
land of the starry flag, when a man
has five wives all of his subsequent
wives are servants and abject slaves
of the first five wives. 1 am deeply
grieved over my inability to accept
| this great honor; but | cannot subject
your daughter, the most beautiful
princess, to degradation and servitude.
And if L should remain here my great
sovereign would send fifty thousand
warships and thousand million SOL
| diers and take me forth and feed me
| to the Chinese devils
THAT settled it. He wept on my
neck and felt sorry for me. But he
could not feel like making me so much
trouble. And his lovely daughter
the princess, also clasped me in her
arms and slobbered over me ad nau-
seam. And, 10 complete the play, I
hugged her and shed a few briny tears
myself, of qualification over my escape
from this awful dilemma.
The king insisted upon showing his
appreciation, and l asked for coin
from the necklace which festooned hi.
massive neck, a necklace composed OF
coins, jewelry, teeth and bones of enc.
mics he had killed. Every pendant
told a story of m1Yder and savage
butchery. He offered me the whole
necklace, but l wrenched one of the
bangles loose and placed the coin SOL
emnly to my forehead in token that l
would ever keep him in memory, to
my lips to show that | would ever
speak well of him, and then to nv
heart to indicate that my love for the
giver would never die.
"Then l sat down beside his lovely
daughter, who was more decollete
than any lady with whom have ever
dined; and all of us ate roast pig, with
pagan trimmings.
Sand here you see the coin which ]
received instead of the lovely prin.
4 cess" SMITH d. FRY.