Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1903-04-03
81 should think it didn't give you

fitr
She (gushingly)--Song flows as natu-
rally from her as from little birdie.
He (gruff1y)-A parrot, perhaps
"Oh. dear. | hate to spend SO much
money for clothes, and have them turn
out all wrong. 1t just gives me
fit"
Bridget, what did you say to Miss
Smith when she calledT' 4 told her
you were out this tonne for sure,
ma'am.'
There's one good thing about mo-
tor car" whats THAR 1T doesn't
try to run up to every water trough 1t
comes to-"
She-I understand that Mrs. Emerson
is a strict vegetarian. He-Yes, very!
Why, she goes SO far as TO exclude
Bacon from her literary diet.
whats the natter" asked the
rooster; more observation-disclosures
Eyes" replied the hen; Il can never
Hnd things where | lay them"
81 see the new magazine Is outY
Eyes; and thank Heaven, they've got
my poem right next to advertising
matter.'-Atlanta Constitution.
George proposed to that girl and
would have married her If 1t hadn't
been for something she said. Fred
What did she say? George-No.
did you see any sharks when you
crossed the ocean, Mr.. Spifkins!
asked Miss Purllng yes" replied
spifkins, sadly; 81 played cards with
couple"
"Now, Willy, you may give me sen
tence that will be easy to parse.
"Yes'm. How's this one: Said the
sparse, parsimonious parson: Parse the
parsnipsp
"Who Is the hero of this piecef"
asked the man who was coming out
of the theater. And the manager
thoughtfully replied: "The man who
is financing it,
80 you are going to get an auto
mobile?" Yes" answered the man
who Is always thinking Of his health
"the doctor SAYS must walk more. -
Washington Star.
as Miss Tinker a good pianlst?'
"She is simply fine. You ought to
hear some of her classical pieces. You
would never know they were music"
|. Indianapolis News.
Her Mamma-You certainly were
flirting outrageously with that young
man on the bench. Don't you know
you're married woman, and Mrs.
Gay-Yes, but he didn't.
I Wife-You don't seem to enjoy the
dinner. dear What's the matter? Hus-
band-I was wondering If there
weren't some typographical errors in
that cook book of yours.
"He thinks of having his poems pub
lished In book form well, that's
the best way of putting them where
they won't bother anybody. "-Phla-
delphia Evening Bulletin.
martha. where Is the Letter that was
:
maam." But 1t had no address on 1t.
mo, ma'am, but l thought it might be
one of them agnonimus letters
Mrs Jones-And have you any refer
ences? Applicant-No. mum; oi tored
'em up. Mrs. Jones Gin surprisel-Tore
them up? How foolish. Applicant
Yez wudn't think so, mum, If yez had
seen 'em.
Going away on vacation, old manf
You need 1t, for you look all tagged
out" Great Scott, isn't that proof
enough that I've already been on my
vacation and just got back Balti-
more Herald.
Envious Young man speaking of ia
vored rivaD-Yes, George is clever and
handsome, but he is so abominally con
ceited. Sharp Young Lady But, Mr.
| Dumley, II you were handsome and
clever, would not you be conceited?
An Irishman was standing at the cor
ner Of a street, his head all bandages
and using crutches, when Il friend. on
I SetlDK Hill, SuOultu. ildllHd. MIKE,
what's the matter?' Il bet Rooney
half-crown he couldn't carry me up a
three-story ladder. | WON'T
Physician (at bospitaD-How did you
happen to fall from the top of The
ladder? Patient-A pretty woman was
passing. and while trying to get
good look at her | slipped and fell.
Physiclan-Ah. the same old story-a
woman at the bottom of it,-Chicago
News
Il wonder why donkays eat thistles %
said the man who is always finding
something peculiar in life OH an
swered the person who likes plain food.
There is no accounting for taste. II a
donkey were to give the matter
thought | suppose he would wonder
why human beings eat olives"
Eyes, said Cholly Lonson. proudly as
the group of listeners clustered around
him, Yves, saved the lady's life. She
had fallen from the MGR md tl,o ,,.,.l