Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-29
BOYS IN OLIVE DRAB.
Doesn't Sound Half so Patriotic as
1.-The Boys in Blue"

1.-THE Boys in Blue"
The irridescence of the United
States army in its new uniform is not
yet appreciated by the northwest.
Stray specimens only of the unaccus-
toned colOrs have been seen here,
and the complete picture will not be
unveiled at Fort Smelling from Wash
ington-shall take effect on July l,
1903
The substitution of olive drab for
blue in the service uniform of officers
and men seems likely to embarrass the
patriotic poet. "The boys in blue"
are permanently retired to battle
paintings, grandfather's tales and the
foot notes of history. What word.
what praise, shall henceforth rhyme
inspiringly with "olive drab?" 'Hurrah
for the boys in blue!" sang the chill
dren at recent patriotic gatherings.
But could they eXclaim, with equal
fervOr, "Hurrah for the boys in olive
drab." Must the American Kipling
magnetic posterity with some such
processiona az
Eternal glory for to grab,
Marched forth the boys in olive drab!
Shall school commandments yet be
moved to tears with elegiacs that re-
late
Drew his kahki around him,
Stretched forth upon the slab.
Then died the dental surgeon in the
glorious olive drabi
For the army dentist is distinguished
in the new regulations by the fact that
he is one of the very few officers who
will not be permitted to wear a full
dress uniform. His insignia, and
one should imagine, would be a bleed
ing tooth in white and red just as the
mark of the veterinarian is the foot
of horse shod." But dentist must
be known, instead, by the white let
tiers, I'D. S." which the enlisted men
have already interpreted as doctor
of screams"
The new uniform is to be simple
and serviceable, as becomes the citi-
zen soldiers of democratic country.
No aping of monarchical flummery
will be tolerated. A second lieutenant,
mindful of his humble post at the foot
of the ladder OF command, must re-
main content with nothing more than
full dress uniform, dress uniform;
must be satisfied with trousers for
one occasion, "breeches" for another,
and pants" for none; with a chapeau,
full dress cap, dress cap, white
nor yrrhi
civilin hat; must be willing to accept
seven buttons in each of two rows up
on his coat, 'the distance between the
top of the rows to be inches and the
distance between the bottom rows Az
inches
After July / the army officer will
cast aside his tactics, his strategy. his
campaigns of Napoleon and devote
himself to that new military wade
mecum, 'The Table of Occasions"
For IAN he know not" the Table which
has consumed so much midnight cleo
tricity at the war department, how is
he to remember that "drab leather
gloves" must be worn with "dismount-
ed full dress trousers?" How is he to
ne pOSILIN6 IUdI a. SABRE is 10 De Q1S-
played when calling upon me mbers
Of a royal family" and is not to be in
evidence at "any review, inspection or
parade?" The Table of Occasions
once imprinted upon he army's
memory will answer all Chinese "ques-
lions of the seven hats" will solve the
inevitable conflict between trousers"
and ''breeches;" will ward off the
ever-threatening cateclysm of wearing
things at "a formal small dinner"
which any true son of Washington or
Lincoln would reserve exclusively for
"a Dance" or, perhaps, "an evening
musical"
While Newport is slowly adjusting
itself to a coIrt-and-coupon etiquette,
while the wives of new congressman
are harra ssing their husbands with
'The Book of the Beau Monde" the
army Of the United States will remain
entrenched in it's traditional common
sense behind the Table of Occasions
and the Schedule of Uniforms to Be
Worn at the White House Until p.
m"