The Tomahawk., 1903-08-06
Jobson's Great,
Plan

THE perspiration was rolling in riv-
ulets from Mr.. Jobson's brow when
he arrived from the office one hot, hui
mid evening last week. He soused him
self in a tub of cold water, but the mere
exertion of drying himself after the
plunge made him warm all over again.
Mrs. Jobson didn't take any chances on
trying to engage him in airy perslf1age
when he came downstairs for dinner
there wasn't any air stirring, anyhow,
and Mr.. Jobson's heat-warped coun-
tenance didn't invite Mrs. Jobson to
frivolous conversation. He only picked
at his dinner the while he Illuminated
against the righteousness of the climate
just about four days previously he had
been moaning miserably: Il wonder II
this Internal town is ever going to get
warm enough to make it fit for anything
but an Esquimau to live in?" Now,
however. it was: "This merrie month
of May fake gives me the earache-
that's what it does! The Internal gall
of the thermometer humping itself up
to the 81 mark at this time of the year
a fellow might just as we'll move down
to the Isthmus of Panama and be done
with it,"
To comfort him, and give him sur
cease of sorrow, Mrs. Jobson read to MIN
news dispatch stating that there were
ten feet of snow in Montana, and that
the thermometer registered six degrees
below zero out that way.
IT don't believe any such balderdash!"
Grossly replied Mr.. Jobson. Il don't be-
lieve that there's that much GOODNESS
on the planet-the whole blooming
sphere is one gigantic blister, and I'm
boiling right in the hottest part OF it
blast such climate as the one that's
dished out to us here, anyhow-l'n bet
that that Death Valley we read SO much
about isn't marker to it!
Whereupon Mrs. Jobson, espying the
danger signal, subsidized.
After dinner Mr.. Jobson rocked him
self at parlor window, welding palm
leaf fan like fail, and then he sud
denly broke out:
"Why, it's funny never thought of it
before-it's the SWEETEST scheme that
ever came into my head"
what is?" obviously inquired Mrs.
Jobson. who looked cool enough, prob
ably because she wasn't Impending foot
tons of energy in fooling with fan.
why" said Mr.. Jobson, full of the
enthusiasm of his great idea, well rent
this house furnished-just as she stands
to some unfortunate couple idiotic
enough to want to stay in Washington
during the hot months, or that can't get
out of town during the heated spell
and we'll go out into the country and
board anywhere for the summer - to
Tenleytown, or Bladenburg, or Ana
costa. or Falls Church-any where to get
a breath of air and dodge the blamed
Gehenna-lil1e dog-days of Washington.
Now. what dye think of that for bully
plan?"
"But," said Mrs. Jobson, you know
how you've always despised boarding,
and how you like your home cooking, es-
pecially when all of the fresh vegetables
and fruits are beginning to come to the
markets, and"
"Just wait minute, If you please"
interiected Mr.. Jobson. "This thing is
not a question of fresh fruits and veg
etables-it so happens, I am glad to
say, that am not thinking Of my stom
ach every minute that I'm awake, like
some people that I could mention-but
it's a plain question of whether you
want to have me in parboiled state in
Washington all summer, with the
chances more than even that I'll be
overcome by the heat in my own bed
right in the middle Of the night before
autumn, or whether you can reconcile
yourself to my having breath of en-
durable country air while the hot months
last. That's the proposition in nut
shell, and I'll be obliged if you'll put
yourself on record as to how you stand
on It,"
ooh, you know how little I suffer
from the heat" began Mrs. Jobson, "and
cf course want you to be comfortable,
but"
..Well, it's settled, them" broke in Mr..
Jobson, effectively choking off Mrs. Job
sons but" 'I'll write the ad. this even
ing, and you can take it down first thing
in the morning-eleganth house, fully fur
nished for Housekeeping, for rent from
June 1 to October Trent merely NOM
inal-something like that" and Mr.. job
son was so full of his great scheme that
he went right upstairs and wrote the ad.
md read it aloud to Mrs. Jobson, and
then stuffed it into her chain purse. 81