Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1903-12-31
Uncle Toms Christmas.

Yonr Uncle Tom hopes every one en-
joyed Christmas and had a merry time AS
to myself, | took great hand in the Christ
mas festivities but not quite as much as
the Rev. Will Cannon. He had saved up
a little too much gas or electricity and
came near losing all his hair by his care
lessness. The first thing the large audience
at the Oak Grove Christmas tree knew Bro
Cannon's hair was in flames. 1t flashed
and burned like powder and he owes S, r.
Rust something for hit heroism in smother
ing out the flames that enveloped his head,
Sam poses now as hero the equal OF Hob
son, whom they do say the women came
near kissing to death because OF his heroisn
at Santiago But your Uncle Tom got
more kisses than any OF the boys and he
enjoys it as much now as he ever did.
Well, after having cupof Tom and Jerry
prepared by Mrs. Laura Nunley and fine
dinner prepared by the same lady, (though
Monroe did say Laura had cooked the
chicken three weeks TO get it done, which
Laura disputed) ] wended my way to the
home Of S. r. Rust, the hero of the night
before, to witness the marriage OF his
daughter, Miss Ellen to Mr.. Price Guier.
OF course Uncle Tom kissed the bride first
and several others before hand They all
got my Christmas gilt and | couldn't afford
to leave any open accounts so | just settled
up then and there. got nice present off
theChristmss tree and you bet the children
at Oak Grove had daisy time Some one
said there would be lot of drunk fellows
at the Christmas tree but everybody was
sober. Uncle Tom told several that the
boys Of Tracy City had always respected
him in everything that he ever had any
hand in and you all know that he has been
at the head of some Of the largest ever held
in Tracy, Well, when got home wife
looked sorer lovin' and put my finger on
my cheek and said, "there's one left for
you, Fannie" and golly she appropriated
ii at once. So if anybody had nicer and
better time than your Uncle Tom I'd like
to see him. Oh called ON George Barth
early to get an egg nog but it wasn't ready
60 just took couple Of whistles straJ ght
and went on my way. 1t doesn't scare
Esq. W. A. Price to marry folks so il any
more Of the boys take a better half get Esq.
Price to join you reckon Andy Carrick
had good time in the valley as he took
his sister, Miss Aggie along Walter Gra-
ham carried his sister also 1t seems the
boys needed ,ome help but If Andy had
called on his old dad he would gladly have
gone and courted for him, So If the girls
did any good | guess your Uncle Tom will
have another daughter. in-law pretty soon.
Well il Uncle Toms children don't marry
they are not like their old dad and man.
So you folks who have been sorter limiting
around that Uncle Tom was a widower
and wanted TO marry are mistaken for he
mao the INCEST anu sWeetest Htlic Wiie III
the world and folks that's a fact. How in
the world she ever come 10 tie herself to
me is mystery but there is no understand
ing woman. She will generally choose
the ugliest in the whole lot and call him
pretty. Now you have my Christmas his
tory for 1908 and the whole thing didn't
cost your Uncle Tom but a fraction over
FIVE dollars and you know that kisses are
rated at about two dollars and fifty cents
apiece so have come out about twenty-five
dollars ahead besides the fun and presents.
Now if anybody ha, beat me they had to
get move on 'em. UNCLE Ton. :.