davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15
BRIGHT BITS.

-Husband-"I should like to have
one good long smoke without your
interference" Wife-"Youn have
plenty of time for that after you are
dead, William. Judge.
-Flla--"I suppose my engagement
to Fred was complete surprise to
you" Steila-"Your engagement to
anybody would have been complete
surprise to me.'-Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Bacon-"My husband is so
tired when Sunday comes" Mrs. Egg
bert-"Why so?" Hes just got
through reading the paper of the Sum
day before. '-Yonkers Statesman.
-Mother-"Yes; and when the Prod
igal Son was sorry for being so bad
and returned to his home his father
killed the fatted calf Bobby
But what had the fatted calf been
doing? Had he run away, too?"-Bes-
ton Transcript.
FEATHER" said the youth, what is
your understanding of the saying,
The race is not always to the swift? p -
Practically, my son. replied the wise
father, lit means that in the race of
HE the IdSL men QOD usually come
out ahead. "-Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Bilkins (sweetly)-"Do have
another piece of cake, Cousin John"
Cousin John-"Why, really, I've al
ready had two; but it's so good I
believe l will have another" Little
Johnnie (excited1y)-"Ma's a winnerl
Mas a winner! She said she'd bet you d
make pig of yourself!'-Town and
Country.
Sure of his Welcome-"Let me get
at him!" exclaimed the wild-eyed man,
trying to force his way through the
crowd surrounding the President.
stop hin!" shouted one of the guards.
He's an anarchist" Anarchist be
darned!" said the struggling man. I'm
the father of twenty-one children!"--
Chicago Tribune.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Charleston Post (Dem). SAYS:
"As soon as President Roosevelt learns
how happily the country is getting
along without him we think he will
come out of his fastness and get into
the game again. He couldn't rest easy
if he thought we could do without
him."
The Washington Post Ond.) says:
Some enterprising Alabama gentle
men have struck an odor of what they
believe to be oil, and are permitting
their New York and other Eastern
friends to subscribe to the stock of
company that have organized on ac-
count mf their keen scent. We can
not complain of a lack of money as
long as the promoters are able to
capitalize a SMELL"
The Chicago Chronicle (Dem) says:
"Mr. Roosevelt applauds congress for
affording the Filipinos some relief from
the wretchedness wrought by war and
pestilence by making cut of % per
cent. in the Dingley rates on imports
from their islands, But never before
our conquests of 1898 did Congress i'm
pose Dingley rates or any other rates
on articles imported into the United
States from any territory of the United
States"
The Cincinnati Enquirer (Dem.) thus
quotes and comments: THE negro is
not fit for self-government. 1t is in-
evita BILE that whenever he comes in
contact with the white race he should
he governed by it. The reasons why
are beyond the control of either: they
are part of the law of our being and
of his. His progress toward higher
mental ana moral standard can and
should be aided. but it must necessar-
lily be slow.-Providence Or. ~ Jour-
nal This comes from New England:
not from South Carolina. 1t is from
an editor in q conservative section:
not from Senator Tillman. II is not
necessary to discuss the proposition as
to its truth at great length; but ii NAV
De safely assumed that President
Roosevelt and those who are ASSOCIATE
ed with him in his Southern policy be-
lieve in II thoroughly in their hearts"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15

Judge Bacon relieved a long and
nonotonous days proceedings at
bloomsbury County Court, London, the
other day by a humber of flashes OF
characteristic humor, says the Lon
don Telegraph.
II am afraid have been unbusiness-
like in this matter said lady. Do
not do yourself such an injustice, re-
piled his honor mo woman is unbus-
inesslike.'
Il cannot listen in patience to such
a story" exclaimed and excitable lady,
who was being sued by a milkman.
And why not?" said the judge
YEARLY; "remember,I will have to u.s.
ten to you, too
Good advice" said his honor. with
a sigh. "is at once the most valuable
and the cheapest thing in existence.
Everybody needs it, but most people
would not give twopence for bar
rowful."
foundation which you are using SO
often?" inquired his honor of gar
rulous foreigner.
II mean he is telling you lie, your
honor"
"Ah." said his honor, you mean
fabrication There is a gerat diner
ence between the two things. Remen-
her that a foundation is something
solid. while a fabrication is an airy
structure which has no foundation
whatever"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15


Not very long ago there was a great
deal said in the newspapers to the ef-
feet that employers were seeking
young men for responsible positions,
in fact, for positions of any kind, and
that a man over As stood but little
chance of getting employment II he
lost his place. There is no doubt of
course that the preference is for
young men, and although there are
plenty of men beyond As who are just
as capable, and in every respect as eff
ficient, as when they were 25, the rule
DOUBTLESS is that man who has
passed that age has passed his prime.
We are led to make these remarks
by the fact that the man who has been
chosen from among a hundred or more
applicants to manage the elevated and
subway railroads of Greater New
York is Sc years old. He has been
given a contract for five years at $780,
900 a year.
The task that he will have to per-
form is very difficult one, and win
test his ability to the utmost. There
isn't much doubt, however that he
will prove himself equal to the respon-
sibilities he has assumed. He is a
Western man and made his reputation
as a railroad man in Louisville, Ky,
and st. Louis, Mo. In the latter city
he handled the vast traffic that passes
over the great bridge that crosses the
river there.
When the time came for selecting a
man to handle the traffic on the new
subway system in connection with
that on the elevated roads in New
York city, this man. Edward C. Bryan,
was asked to take the place, notwith-
standing the fact that he was we'll on
towards so years of age. The men at
the head of the new subway system
knew Mr.. Bryan, and they believed he
could fill the position better than any
other man they could find. SO all
of the many applicants, many of them
men of the greatest merit, were passed
by in favor of this western man who
had not applied for the place.
Mr.. Bryan does not look like man
of Sc. He has the appearance OF a
man of 45. That is because he has al
ways been careful of his health and
has lived a quiet life, avoiding all ex-
cesses. The chances are that he viii
be able to fill the position to which he
has been called for ten, and perhaps
fifteen, years, and at the end of that
time will still be a very valuable
man to the company.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15
PERSONAL.

Rev. Charles NJ Winchester of
Middletown, N. Y, declares that a
minister can live on s12 month If he
lives alone and still have some money
left for the church. He says he does.
Charles T. Taylor, Mayor-elect of
Mankato, Mimi, is the heaviest chief
executive of any city in the United
States. i weighs 4O9 pounds, but is
as nimblG as a kitten and one of the
fastest pedestrians in the city. He is
a Democrat of the strictest sort.
Fanny Herring, the actress who
charmed the audiences of the Old
Bowery Theater thirty or forty years
ago, celebrated her list birthday re-
Gently. After nearly fifty years on the
stage she retired to her farm in Con-
necticut, where she now lives in the
best of health
j. b. Robinson has been a justice
of the peace at Saladsburg, Pa, for
just a half century, and is believed to
have been in office longer than any
other man in the state. BY far the
larger number of cases which come
before him are settled amicably, the
squire being a famous hand at smooth
ing over all sorts of disputes.
Eight years ago Oren Root Jr.,
was a clerk in the offices of the Metro
politan Street Railroad Company of
New York. Now he is general mana
ger, with 400 miles of track and $4,000
men under his control. Mr.. Root prob
ably is the youngest railroad manager
in the world, being only 29 years old, a
quiet, reticent man of whom it has
been said that che can say nothing
for hours" He is a nephew of Elihu
Root, Secretary of War.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15
ANOTHER
RIVER
MISSISSIPPI
SCHEME.

1t is said that there is a movement
on foot to have model made, for ex-
hibit at the st. Louis exposition, of a
dam and a reservoir for the control of
the Mississippi river. 1t seems to be
admitted that the levee plan has
proven a failure, at least the levees
were badly wrecked by the flood that
is now passing off, and it will cost mil
lions of dollars to put them
back where they were prior to the
present flood. Besides, the levees did
not protect the adjacent lands from
overflow this spring. Just how much
money has been spent on the levee
system of the Lower Mississippi it is,
of course, impossible to say, because
there has been no record kept, but it
is known that the government has
spent more than $4,000, 900 and it is
safe to say that the states have spent
a great deal more than that. The
amounts spent by planters, and citi-
gems of towns along the route of the
river, are unknown.
1t is a question whether the levee
plan will be a success If persisted in.
1t seems as If the foods rise higher
and higher as the hight of the levees
are increased, and the levees are GER
tain to be swept away sooner or later
They may hold for two or three years,
but there is certain to come along
flood that will break and destroy
them.
1t is said that an officer Of the Engi-
neer Corps of the army has been sent
to points above st. Louis to inspect
the country with the view of suggest
ing the building of dam and reser-
voir, such as has been built by Great
Britain at Assouan for the control of
the river Nile. According to this
statement 1t is thought that a dam
and a reservoir could be constructed
at point about fifteen miles above
st. Louis that would serve to control
the river.
The point that is being aimed at now
is to have a model made of the pro-
posed dam and reservoir for exhibit at
the st. Louis exposition, the idea be-
ing to interest the people in it and
through them Congress. A dam that
would check the Mississippi in flood
times and turn back the waters into a
reservoir would cost a mint of money
The dam at Assouan cost $4,000, 900
and the reservoir is to cost about the
same amount, but it would be a safe
statement that a dam that would
check the floods that come down
the Mississippi would cost ten
times as much as the Nile dam cost
and as for a reservoir, it would cost
about as much as the estimated cost
of the Panama canal But there is no
objection to a model. That would be
interesting.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15
"Bobs" Forenve the Colonel.

Richard Harding Davis relates this
incident. which happened while he was
acting as correspondent during the late
war. saws Answers.
A regiment of Scottish Highlanders,
noted for their bravery in action. dur
ing the heat of one battle were sud
denly seen to break ranks and run
in all directions. The officers as well
shared in the stampede, and apparent
~ made no attempts to urge the men
under them into line. Their behavior
was a surprise to everybody on the
field, and after the battle was over
the colonel of the regiment was sum-
moned before Gen. Roberts
What the goodness was the matter
with your regiment ?" asked "Bobs."
We'll" replied the colonel, there is
not a man in the regiment afraid of
q Dutchman's bullet, but we were
steered into a field literally infested
with wasps' nests, and you know, gem
eral, we were all in kits, and with
bare legs"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15
Mirked. But a Good Bet.

The Parsons Herald notes that the
Rev. J. e. Brant has been placed upon
the superannuated list of Methodist
preachers, says the Kansas City Jour-
nal. Years ago the Rev. Brant was
pastor of a church in Parsons. He was
a godly man, sedate and self-contented,
but he could be aroused to much en-
thusiasm in a Presidential campaign.
Like most Methodist ministers, he was
a Republican. In 1888 he was an earn
est supporter of Harrison against
Cleveland. On the night of the election
he foregathered with a crowd in hall
where the returns were being received.
Some betting was being done, and he
protested in his gentle way, but without
avail. At last party of Democrats
came whooping in with some news
which they conceived to be favorable
to the election of Cleveland. They Of
fered a big bet, and George Radcliff,
who was standing near the preacher,
covered their money. George, said
the parson, with great earnestness,
don't YOU know that it is wicked to
wager money! Then, his enthusiasm
getting the better of his godliness, he
fetched his Republican friend mighty
whack on the back and shouted: You II
win that bet, George, hands down.!
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15
The FINEST of All.

From the Los Angeles Herald.
God made the streams gurgle down
the purple mountainside;
He made the gorgeous coloring with
which the sunsets dyed:
He made the hills and covered them
with glory; and He made
The sparkle on the dewdrops and the
hecks 'of light and shade.
Then knowing all earth needed was
a climax for her charms,
He. made a little woman with baby
in her arms.
He made the arching rainbow that
is thrown across the sky;
He made the blessed f1ow'rs that nod
and smile as we go by;
He made the ballroom beauty as she
bows with queenly grace;
But sweetest of them all he made
the lovelight in the face
That bends above baby, warding off
the worlds alarms
That dainty little woman with her
baby in her arms.
A soft pink wrap embellished with
a vine in siiken thread;
A filmy snow-white cap upon a downy
little head:
A dress 'twould make the winter drift
look dusky by its side;
Two cheeks with pure rose-petal tint,
two blue ewes wonder-wide:
And, bending Ger that mother face
imbued with heav'n own charms
God bless the little woman with her
baby in her arms. S. w. Gillian.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15

A Philadelphia, according to the
Ledger, tells this story of his nephew:
Five ear-old Robin shared my
couch the other night He was prop
er bed fellow, noiseless and kickless.
When l aWoke Robin was revealed
fiat on his stomach, with elbows down,
shin on his hands ard studying my
very aquiIine nose as intently as ever
Darwin studied a new toad. He was
manifestly wrestling with problem.
AS soon as my eyes opened he broke
out: Uncle Will did you ever have
an accident on your nose?"
AS is my custom. l replied to him
in the stately phrase of story book
heroes mo, Robin: / realize that
my nose is not all that one could wish
as an ornament. But 1 was born that
way, and it has always been good
nose to me. Hence, 1 am fairly sat
isfied with it."
well" he sighed: rather hopeless
y, though trying to put the best face
on a very bad matter. Il suppose it
is good enough to smell WITH"
Then I laughed.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15
lNDEG 10 NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meetings-Georgia Chapter No. 9, r.
A. M; Francis S. Barlow Camp No.
49, U. S. C. V.
Special Notices-Fishing Tackle,
CornweI & Chapman; Notice to City
Court Jurors.
business Notices-Low Prices on
Salmon, at MINISTER'S.
These Charming Spring Days-Mu-
tual Gas Light Co.
Financial-The Chatham Bank.
Ice Cream Freezers-Allen Bros.
Auction on Account of Removal-A.
L. DesbouillOns.
Quality-Ludden & Bates S. NJ. H.
Think This over, Then Act-The
Metropolitan Clothing Co.
Summer School at Knoxville, Tenn.
Atlanta, Knoxville and Northern
Railway.
Beer-A. B. c. Bohemian: Anheuser-
Busch Brewing Co.
Silver Polish-The Gorham Co.
Hammocks-At Lattimore's.
Sherries-The Delmonico Co.
Legal Notices-In the Matter of n.
B. Stafford & Bro, of Camden, Bank
rupt.
Foods-Postum Food Coffee; Grape
Nuts.
Stylish Spring Shoe-M. Wilensky.
Medical-Paracamph Hyomei; Med
ical Lake Soap; Pinkhafn Remedy;
Swamp Root; Golden Medical Dis
covery.
Cheap Column Advertisement
Help Wanted; Employment wanted;
For Rent, For Sale, Lost, Personal,
Miscellaneous.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15
Funeral For Fun.

Persons traversing Lamonte street,
Manayunk, yesterday, witnessed a curl
Gus sight, says the Philadelphia Tele-
graph. Attention was first attracted
by a long black ribbon floating from
the doorbell of house near the corner
of an intersecting street. About a
dozen or more children were walking
up and down the pavement, some with
black on their dresses and others with
handkerchiefs to their eyes and APP
parently weeping as though their hearts
would break. The sight was such an
unusual one that one Of the girls was
stopped and asked what was the mat
ter.
"Oh, we're just playing a funeral
with Dollie," said she, pointing to the
step, and there in the entry lay the
doll, whose funeral services were sbe-
ing held, in a black pasteboard box
decorated with all the finery dear to
the hearts of small girls.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15
CAN'T BE CoMpEILED no COMPETE

Judging from expressions that are
finding their way into publications that
are in sympathy with Wall street in
fluences the leading stockholders of
the Northern Securities Company, the
stockholders who were instrumental
in having that company formed, are
saying that if the Supreme Court
should affirm the decision of the Cir
cult Court of Appeals, and the North
ern Securities Company should be dis
solved, the Northern Pacific and the
Great Northern railroads could not be
compelled to compete.
1t is true of course that they could
not be compelled to compete, but there
is no doubt they would compete with
out any effort at compulsion. If there
had been any way to prevent compe-
tition between them, disastrous compe-
tition, the Northern Securities Com
pany wouldn't have been formed. 1t
is true the arrangements of the two
companies could refuse to cut rates or
give rebates or do any other thing that
is a part of what is called ruinous
competition, but it is doubtful if under
the Northern Securities decision they
would be permitted to enter into any
agreement as to rates.
They can find very little satisfaction
in the thought that they cannot be
compelled to compete. Just as soon
as the company that controls them is
out of the way they will compete.
There will at once begin a scramble
for business, and that means rebates,
cut rates and other features of a rail-
road war.
1t is doubtful IL the railroad problem
will be solved until railroads are per-
mitted to pool their earnings and COM
missions are appointed to fix the rates.
There are of course grave objections. to
this solution of the problem,
but there does not seem to
be any better solution. The
public wants rates that are stable ana
fair and it objects to rebates and other
favors that are given to the big ship
pers. 1t may be that now that the
antitrust law has been upheld Con-
gress will set to work to find some
way to overcome the difficulties under
which railroads labor.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15

Now that President Roosevelt is In
the tall timber and out of sight, Pat
Grove comes once more into vision.
1t win be recalled that he stole Mil
lionaire Cudahy's small son at Omaha
more than a year ago and that the
police have been hunting for him ever
since A day or two ago the police
of st. Joseph, Mo, received a letter
from Pat in which he informed them
that he was residing in a suburb of
that town, that he had been there for
three months, and that as soon as
the frost was out of the ground he
proposed to sow crop of pumpkins.
Upon receipt of the letter the police
hied them to the suburb mentioned.
Mr.. Grove had flown, but they got evil
dence to show that he had told the
truth about having been there for
three months.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15
THE MORNING NEWS is published

THE MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year, and served to
subscribers in tie city, or sent by mail:
one week. is cents, one month, 20 cents.
three months, $500, six months. $500.
one year. $500.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail, six
times a week (without Sunday issue),
one month, so cents, three month";, S1.50;
six months, $500; one year, 5000.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week (Monday and Thursday, by mail.
one year. s1.00
Subscriptions payable in advance.
Remit by money order, check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
local or reading notices, amusements
and classified column, 10 cents a line.
Fourteen lines of agate type-equal to
one inch III depths the standard of
measurement. CLASSIFIED column adver-
tisements 1 cent a word each inser-
zion. Every word and figure counted
No advertisement accepted for less than
is cents week days, % cents Sundays.
Contract rates and discounts made
known on application at business office.
Orders for delivery Of the Morning
News to either residence or place of
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 210. Any irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately report
ed.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed "MORNfNG NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, H. C. Faulkner. Man
aRer.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15


The condition of the hull of the
Spanish flagship Reina Christina,
which has been raised from the bot
tom of Manila Bay, where it had rest
ed since that momentous May morn
ing in 1898 when Admiral Dewey sail
ed in and conquered, seems to indi-
cate that 1t was not the shots of the
Americans that sent the vessel to her
watery grave. A sea valve was miss
ing, showing that the vessel was scut-
tied by her crew before they aban-
doned her. Nevertheless there were
fifteen shell holes in the hull, show
ing that the fire of Dewey's ships was
accurate and, as to the result, effective.
Dewey's object was to put the enemy's
vessels out of action. This he did with
out exception. The precise manner in
which they sank is merely an inconse-
quential detail.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15

There seems to be a preponderance
of the personal pronoun 81" in POST
master General Payne's statement
relative to the investigation into the
scandal in the Postoffice Department
1t is as though Mr.. Payne were afraid
that somebody else than himself would
get the credit for having discovered
the crookedness and moved to
straighten it. And yet Mr.. Payne
was out of washington and away on
a junket at the time the work of in
vestigation was in progress.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15

The Supreme Court of Kansas has
decided that the various local boards
of education have the right and power
to enforce the separation of the races
in schools. The case before the court
grew out of the attempt of negroes
to force their children into white
schools in Topeka.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15

DR.. Wiley's corps of preserved food
eaters in Washington, with whom he
is making tests of chemicals as pre-
servatives of meats and other food
products, are said to have recently
taken on a most beautiful baby-pinlx
complexion. At the beginning of the
experiment, it is said, some of the
young men had complications more like
one of the "57 varieties" than anything
else. but now they are ali fair pink
and pretty of skin. What is the
chemical that has worked this
change? If Prof. Wiley win consent
TO sell it, he can get thousands of
dollars for his secret. What a de-
mand there would be for a breakfast
food guaranteed to give its users a
delicate pink complexionl
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-04-15

The indications for Georgia for to-
day 'are for fair and cooler weather,
with fresh to brisk north winds. East
ern Florida fair weather and cooler
in south portion, with fresh west to
north winds.