The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-12-13


 day of the presentation of this gift. Mir. Carnegie visited a boys school in the neighborhood. where a luncheon was served in his honor. Afterward. as he was departing, one of the masters said to him:
 "Mr Carnegie, the boys have . good library here. and think they would ap- preciate it If you would enlarge 1t for them with e copy of your book. "An American Four-tn-Hand in Britain"
 MT. Carnegie, looking hattered, said:
 ''why, yes I'll be very glad to send the boys a copy of An American Four-in- Hand in Britain The book would be a very small return Indeed for their hos pitaiity.''
 One of the boys spoke up excitsdiy:
 That's SO Mir Carnegie; I've read the book" he said.
 John L. Sullivan was one day asked why he never had taken to giving boxing lessons. He replied:
 Well, son, did try that once. A husky Sey was my first and last pupil. He took one lesson from me. and went home af- When he turned up for the next lesson he said:
 " rMr. Sullivan. 1t was my Idea to learn enough pugilism from you to be able to lick . certain young man that I dis liked But I've changed my mind now. If It's all the same to you Tn send this young man down here to take the rest of my lessons for me- f.# @I," the pugilist concluded, was a 1t. tie too rough to teach boxing"
 Joseph Chamberlain, In one of his re- cent tarin-reform speeches. told an um- brella story that has not been recorded.
 Mir. Chamberlain wished to point out that ignorance was to blame for much of the censure that had been attached to his tariH scheme. He said:
 Way, my friends many of my oppo- nentb are as ignorant of my proposition as certain farmer, many years ago. of the umbrella
 ''rhe farmer had made a journey of town. As he was about to set off for home again a hard rain came up, and his host loaned him an umbrefla-a nov city at the time-opering 1t himself so as to save his friend all possible trouble.
 "A week later the farmer brought the umbrella back. The weather was bright and fine. but he held the instrument open over his head.
 This contrivance,' he grumbled, Is more trouble than its worth There wasn't doorway in the village I could get 1t through, and I had to tether N all the week in feld.''
 George B. Mcclellan. the Mayor-elect of New York. had occasion, in an address refer to a gentleman named (say) Brown low.
 MT. McClellan's allusion to this person was complimentary. but he spoke of the man as "a MT. Brownlow" This was natural enough. q am informed that a Mfr. Browuiow." was the way the allu- sion began.
 Browniow, however. disliked the phrase. He cbmpiained of 1t, and the complaint was brought to MT. McClellan's ears by Q mutual friend.
 ''Brownlow objects" said the mutual friend. ito being called a MT. Brown low You know you called him "a Mir. Brownlcw.' in your speech the other night"
 Tho EaEayor-elect replied. with a laugh: '.PeghAps he would have had me call him the MT. Brownlow.
 The Earl of Denbigh, who commanded the Honorable Artillery Company to Lon don during its recent visit to America, told at a dinner party in New York one night e story which, he said, Andrew Lang had related to him.
 There was. according to the story, an aged Scot who had c reputation far and near for his fine fowls. which took prizes at all the fairs and shows Of the conn- kry-side.
 A gentleman stopping in the neighbor- hood heard so much of the Scot and h!s birds that he decidec to give the old mans stock a trial. Accordingly he sent an nrder for the finest turkey that could be procured. and in due season was de- lighted to receive an exceedingly large and plump fowl.
 The fowl was roasted and served, but 50 tough and dry did It prove that the 1t. Very much chagrined he set forth to find the old Scot.
 The latter. after listening to his pa- eron's ontburst of disappointed rage. said with sheer:
 fHoot, man. why. ye kenna tell a guld bird when ye see 1t. That turkey I sent ye has ta'ep the first prize at all tic shows for the last eight years"
 George Ads. in tine early days of his career. before the Fables in Slang had brought him fame. called one morning In Chicago upon a Sunday editor on a mis- Bion fVm a theatrical manager.
 T have brought you this manuscript" he began: but the editor looking up at the tall. awkward. tirnid youth, inter rupted:
 Just throw your manuscript in the wastebasket. please" he said 'Tm very busy just nov, and haven't time to do 1t myself"
 MT. Ade obeyed calmly. He resumed:
 'T have come from the theatre and the manuscript have just thrown in the Wastebasket is your comic farce of The Firing Son. which the manager asks me to return to you with thanks He sug- gests that you sell it to an undertaken. to be r&ad at funerals"
 drew.
 The Russian family of the Tolstois. to which the great novelist belongs, owes it's