The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-03-25
AN UNSOLICITED KISS.

padour. the best OF Wnlcn might De
| classed under the general head of 'humii-
| iation.'"
Yes" said the cute girl, curled grace
| fully in the ECKER chair. -puncture a
mans conceit, make him ridiculous and
you have him on the road 10 regenera-
! ton
| The youngest girl sat on the veranda
steps with her hands closped over her
knees and gazing dreamily across the
| lawn. Il wish she began, then stop
ped and sighed gently
What is il. innocence?' asked the POM
padour girl why, you're blushing. Have
| the monsters been troubling you, too?
Aren't even the children safe?
I'm eighteen" replied the girl on the
steps, uncIssping her hands and sitting
| up very straight, and l come out next
| winter"
But you're fearfully youthful. just the
same: and if any man or boy has been
mean to you it is the duty of old cam
paigners like US TO stop it Come, now,
what is it?''
''Oh. he hasn't been mean or anything
like that" answered the youngest with
| bashful reluctance; '-only he is $3.50
kind and so superior. I'm sure he classes
me with his small sister. They say he
scarcely thirty. yet the very hrst time
we met he called me Bessie as though
l were in short dresses. Come to think
of it, / was playing golf with my hair in
braid, but that was no reason why
he should have kept it up after he saw
me in that lovely white evening gown.
Il suppose you mean Milford English,
said the cute girl. patiently
why, yes-didn't l say SOP
NO you simpleton. Now, that's just
why he behaves as he does. He can't
help seeing that you consider him too
splendid for anything; and that would
make saint put on airs.
Hush, Alice, somebody might hear
you
But everybody knows it already. l tell
you. if you ever hope to get him'-whis-
pers of '.Oh, Alice"'-''if you really think
he's worth while, that is, you must make
him see you consider him quite beneath
your notice. You might make him do
anything silly or ridiculous and then
laugh at him. He'd probably go off in
huff, to return before long and fawn at
your feet. Isn't that SO. Marjorie?''
II think said the one thus appealed
to, in thoughtful tones, Il think that
Tanner No. Two would suit his case adj
mirably."
Tanner Number Two?''
I'VE had several tanners at school,
but this was the best. Alice and /
worked it beautifully last summer on
that conceited West Point cadet
'Oh. Mr.. English isn't conceited. But
do tell me about it"
IT'S very simple. All you need is an
obliging small boy-preferably about ten
years old-and a sofa-preferably one
with high back. You place the boy be-
hind the sofa. and then after making
yourself. oh. terribly agreeable to the
young man. invite him to come and sit
beside you. Then YOU ask him If he
wouldn't like to learn new game that is
all the rage in London or Paris or any
other place you happen to think of. He
says yes, of course. whereupon you take
big handkerchief or scarf and blind
fold him tight. When you're sure he
can't see say: Are you ready? He re-
plies, Yes which is the signal for the
boy behind or under the sofa. who i'm
mediately steals around in front and
throws his arms around your conceited
young mans neck and kisses him
Elizabeth's blue eyes had grown wider
and wirder as the recital progressed. "Oh,
Marjoriei' she cried. "how could you do
such a thing? He'd think IL was your.
Certainly he woodland what do you
suppose he would do?"
Il don't know" said Eliza BETH examin-
ing the tip of her shoe.
Yes, you do: the man doesn't exist
who, under such provocation, won't re-
turn the kisses with interest, until he dis
wasted on a small boy, by which time
you have disappeared. with a hooking
laugh trailing behind you
As the boys say put in Alice, you
depart. giving MIN the merry 'Ha-ha. If
you can have select gallery concealed
somewhere about the premises, so much
the better.
But, Alice. are you sure it would do
any good-in my case. l mean?'
hIa
have him at your mercy"
The conversation was brought to a
sudden close by the appearance of
brOad-shouldered youth. who stalked up
the path and said. with self-confdent
air. Come on, take a sail. Bessie; there's
a darling breeze
The youngest girl cast a glance at he.
companions that seemed to say. There,
you see?" although she rose with aiac
rity and replied. Thanks. Mr.. English;
I'd love to go. Goodbye girls and the
couple departed toward the lake.
II was late after noon OF the second
day after the preceding conversation and
Marjorie and Alice had just descended II
their prettiest dinner frocks. when the
youngest girl came flying down the long
veranda to fling herself into the arms of
first one and then the other.
You dear things, she cried all out
of breath Its all on account Of you'll
1t just happened. and | could hardly wait
to tell you"
Did you actually try Tanner Number
Two? -
And did it work beautifully, just as
we said II woud?
oh. il worked exquisitely. but not ex-
actly as YOU promised-a great deal bet
ter-a thousand times better than YOU led
me TO expect
Tell us quick. you tantalizing thing.
1T was this very afternoon. about
half an hour ago" began Elizabeth
perching herself on the arm Of the near
est chair Il asked Willie Brighton to
enact the role Of the small boy. and the
little rogue was only too delighted. So
he hid behind the sofa in the library.
into which / lured Wilf-Mr. Engtish-to
look at a new book Of engravinss. Pretty
soon we finished with the book and ]
asked him IL he didn't want to learn my
new game. just as you told me. lie look
ed rather puzzled-all the more 81. prob
ably because I was trebling With ex-
citement-but agreed 10 the proposition.
So ! wound a great big napkin about
his head-he didn't appear 10 think IL
funny that a napkin was lying about the
llbrary-and at the signal Willie dp-toed
around and kissed him twice so loud that
I was afraid the whole house would
hear
And then suppose Mr. English
Rugged and kissed the tender Willie in
return said the delighted audience.
Moo: I guess Mr.. English IS different
from the men YOU experiments with
He sat perfectly stili at first only Civ
i-r a Queer inarticBlate kind 4 a cry
that must have frightened Willie. for ne
unlocked his arms ard jumped ont II the
way Then Mr.. English took long
breath and said. Why. Bessis you
needn't have taken all that trouh.e just
- kiss IN old fellow Ike ne And in
some way he got my hand and hsid II