davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13
KEEP YOUR FOLKS POSTED
ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.
Cableglams to all parts of the
world.
: Rate to New York City only
$3.50 Mex. per word.
SHERIDAN CABLE CO., LTD.


Here is another, bringing to mind
the trials of the soldier with some of
his EVERYDAY grub:
GREENWOOD CATERER.
tLATE WITH DELMONiCO'S. NEW
YORK.
SPECIALTY-Th SUM that made Del
monico's famous.
SPECIAL RATES BY THE TON OR
CARLOAD.
And bid for patronage of the arts,
as follows:
HOWLER DOGGEREI. MANUFACTORY.
The Howler maintains a special depart
ment devoted to the manufacture OF
verses commonly called DOGGEREL.
WORK DONE WHILE YOU WAIT.
SPECIAL. PRICES BY YARD OR ROD.
If you have patent medicine to sell.
consult us.
One of the poems, "A Soldiers Fare
well to the Philippines" has more than
passing merit about it. The last two
verses are as follows:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13
Wood roothpleks, skewers and Reels

One of the first wood mills estab-
lshed in Maine was to manufacture
wooden toothpicks. A small machine
was invented, which at present gives
an annual output of 500 millions Of
toothpicks. They are made of the
smallest pieces of waste wood, the
cost Of the raw material being prac-
tically nothing. The wooden skew
ers used by butchers are manufacture
ed at the rate of half million a
week. One mill alone turns out in
the summer season five million skew
ers and fifty million toothpicks, be.
sides a number of other articles.
Reels for cotton and thread are
manufactured at the rate of $50 mil
lions a year. For this output more
than fifteen million feet of white
birch Is needed.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

yelled this last in my ear, evidently
forgetful of her warning to me while
before.
got cross. ooh, Nta, what is the
matter? I'm so sleepy"
Nita wept. ooh, dear. Oh. dear.
have no one to tell but you. and
you're so upsympathetic."
"Tell me, dear" said, sitting up.
Alas! | must have shown too much
alacrity and eagerness, for Nita's man
ner changed Immediately.
Il don't know why should" said
My Lady. "You don't want to know. .
II know don't, dear" said |, trying
to sound relieved. Good night" and
in few moments srored-a thing
never do-really. Nita didn't suspect,
though.
A long pause. had ceased my
snoring, but sleep was really begin.
ming to get the best of me, though
was pinching myself black and blue.
Then
Are you awake. Henrietta" came
in a very subdued voice from the
darkness.
almost said mo-" so anxious was
about my diplomacy.
"I-I would like to tell you, Henri.
etta-but-(my heart sank)-but |
don't know how to begin"
Here heard something very like a
giggle, smothered in a pillow. Now,
even as schoolgirl Nita had never
been guilty of giggling! Horrors!
is it anything about the rug, dear?"
suggested kindly.
Indeed, MOI" came the indignant
answer.
Another silence, then
perhaps it is-about the rug-after
all, Henrietta"
"Yes?" (This very sleepily)
"He-I mean If we hadn't sold it, we
couldn't nave come, and If we hadn t
come-why then-O, Henrietta-he' 9
awfully fond of me, and | guess | like
him." (Yes, they were-giggles! I
never would have believed it of her.
never.)
was evidently supposed to be SYM
pathetic, which under the circum-
stances was hard. hadn't the least
idea who he was. To tell the truth.
hadn't noticed Nita much at the house
party, being-but never mind.
He's SO nice and tall" (This was
merely to say mething-anything.
All of the half-dozen men were tall
four of them unmarried and only one
of them engaged, to my knowledge.
He was one of the other three then.
| tried in vain to remember the colors
of their eyes.) Isn't hep acqulesced
Mia, joyfully.
HE has lovely name" ven.
tured.
"Such lovely name said Nita.
And then l thought l knew, for one
mad the first name of John, another
the last name of Smith. Nita had al
ways hated the first name of John,
and the last name of SMITH was
quite sure of myself now. grew very
bold
"A stunning name-Reginald Haugh.
ton"
Henrietta, what are you talking
about-you don't think-you can't
think I'm engaged to that fool! How
could you? Oh, but you poor dear.
mustn't blame you. How could you
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13
All r,shts reserved.

Talrn froms thy high estate, thy once
clear gaze
Has turned in retrospect to happier days:
And while the world around has thun-
dered on.
Thy yesterday has seen no setting sun.
Thou art giant, by tradition chained;
Thy strength is Slapped. by long inaction
drained.
Turn from thy vision of vain glories past
And from thy languid limbs the shackles
cast
Beat thou thy warlike, glittring, gleam-
ing creese
To prosy modern implements of peace;
And WOO the favor of the bounteous soil
ny honest. steady, thrifty, trpstful tori
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13
The Persian Rug

That rug was a perfect sumner, all
gorgeous rich blues and green's. with
a background of most beautiful ter.
ra-cottary crimson. 1t had been made
expressly for u.s." as Nita explained
proudly to the greasy Oriental, who,
however, did not seem bit impressed
with the information, but persisted in
the extremely low price he had offered
us at the beginning. An absurdly low
price, yet one to which we finally had
to agree. for both Nita and | were
firmly resolved on one thing-we
would go to Mrs. Stephenson's house
party. 1t would probably be our last
bit of fun with the old crowd. Hence.
forth we would have to forego society
and earn our own livings. (How we
hated the ideaD For Mrs. Stephen
sons house party one, of course, need.
ed new gowns, etc., and in conse.
quence, money. Now, since a most
unkind guardian-cousin (not angeD-
had invested our small fortune in such
a way that 1t not only became smaller
but was finally lost to view entirely,
we were penniless, and when we de.
cided we must sell something at once.
the discovery was made that no one
thing in the house would bring more
than the rug. Having the better
business head" of us two-did the
most of the bargaining. l argued, the
Oriental stood firm. l argued again.
and-succumbed. Nita bore up brave
ly until the man began counting the
money out to me, then, with one howl.
she flew from the room, slamming the
door after her.
Well, we went to the house party.
would have had good time if it had
not been for Nita. She spoiled every
thing. Each evening while we dressed
Each night she would sob herself to
sleep, and me to wakefulness, and
through all the seedlings and the tears
swept the refrain: Our rug, our dear,
beautiful rug!"
Then, one evening, some little time
after the dressing bell had rung. Nita
came in 'front.' don't know where.
She had fearful sunburn on, and was
so mussy, and on my timidly suggest.
ing her hurrying a bit (she was aim.
lessly gazing into the mirror, she
turned to me with the sweetest. gen
tlest smile, and said Il know it, dear"
| nearly tainted. Not being as well
acquainted with Nita as l am. you may
not appreciate this. can only say IL
wasn't like her. OF course | was puz-
zled by the change, but thought she
might have realized there wasn't time
to scold then. That | would have
double measure at the next opportun'
ity l had no doubt; but no, bedtime
came and no outbrrst, wrathy or tear
full. Such relief. Yet hours after
Nita was asleep lay awake thinking.
What could it mean? Alas, no light
dawned on me. The next morning
(Nita being late) the rug was men.
toned the first thing, but so different
iy.
'Dear old rug she said, gaspingly
(she was being hooked into her gown.
perhaps it is just as wei, Henrietta,
that-that we didn't keep it."
| started.
"A house party is rather good fun,
isn't it," she continued.
The next day we dined on board
yacht, and didn't see Nita alone I'M
til bedtime.
ooh, I'm having a bully time, Hen
rietta!" she exclaimed.
felt hurt. so would have had
from the start. if"
Eyes, | know-you poor dear" she
said. "If hadn't been so very horrid
about the rug. But now I'm not, am
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13
ALTON RESUMES FAST ST. LOUIS
TRAIN SERVICE.

Passengers destined to st. Louis
and points east should go via the Kan
sas City gateway. thereby securing
the advantage Of the Chicago & Atoms
fast night train, leaving Kansas City
at Q p. M. arriving in St. Louis at 7:0S
4. m. Chair cars free Of extra charge.
Compartment sleeping cars. The AL
ton keeps their light ashining just
ahead OF the rest Write to L. d.
Cooper, Travelling Passenger Agent,
Chicago & Alton Railway, Kansas City,
No.. for lowest rates.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13
A Yearly Paper.

In the frozen northland, almost with
in the Arctic circle, Mr.. w. T. Lopp
is looking after his publication, "The
Eskimo Bulletin" probably unique
paper. 1t is published at Cape Prince
of Wales, and the Bulletin" is issued
but once every twelve months. Indeed
under the head of the paper is the an.
nouncement, "The only: yearly in the
world"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13
rea.h away, it was done SO quickly"

breath away, 1t was done so quickly"
And
Many a slow. sad march we've taken
To the bands low. mournful dirge:
Many star decked box we've followed
To the graves most solemn verge.
The man mainly responsible for the
excellence of the paper, as we'll as for
the idea of it's inception, is e. Sway1e,
an enlisted man of the Seventeenth
infantry. 1t is worth noting that all
the work in the production has been
done by enlisted men. The result says
a great deal for their intelligence.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13
and still silent. She may have said
good night" but doubt it.

and still silent. she may nave SAID
good night" but | doubt it.
was awakened from such nice
dream by some vague thing that was,
| fancy, similar to being murdered.
sat up in bed and yelled.
"Oh. glory! Henrietta, keep quiet,
said my sweet sister, trying to do the
Othello act. "Nothing's the matter.
only wanted to talk to YOU" (She had
Weakened me by pulling my hair out
one hair at a timeD
Seems to me you might wait until
morning" said sleepy.
mo, can't" Nita was sulky.
ooh, Henrietta" She shook me this
time. Really, Nita is very strong for a
little thing. do be dear, and woke
ur. l have something to tell YOU" She
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

Defiance Starch is guaranteed big
gest and best or money refunded. 16
ounces 10 cents. Try 1t now.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

Hundreds of dealers say the extra
quantity and superior quality of Def
ance Starch is fast taking place OF all
other brands. Others say they cannot
sell any other starch.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13
WHY 1T is THE BEST

Is because made by an entirely different
process. Defiance Starch Is unlike any
other. better and one-third mora for 10
CentS.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

There are some people who won't
listen to reason until you knock them
down and choke them.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

It's no fun for woman to suffer IL
she has to suffer in silence.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

lam sure Piso's Cure for Consumption saved
my life three years ago.-Mrs THos. RoBBiNs'
Maple Street, Norviah. N Y. Feb. II. ls@
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

The well earned reputation and increas-
Ing popularity of the Lewis "Single
Binder" straight sc cigar, is due to the
maintained high quality and appreciation
of the smoker.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teefhing softens the gums, reduces In.
nammation, lsys PAIN wind 0tic. 25c bottle
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

Men living within themselves have
not much to boast of in the way OF
earthly habitations.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

Wit is the wine of intellect; ILL
nature turns it into vinegar.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

The people who always say exactly
what they think is never popular.
Opportunities are hard to find and
easy to lose.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13
THE K. c. s. ALMANAC FOR 1908.

THE X. c. 8. ALMANAC FOR 1903.
The Kansas City Southern Railways
Almanac for 1903 is now ready for dis
tribution. Farmers, stock -raisers,
fruit-growers, truck gardeners. manu-
facturers, merchants ana others seek
ing a new field of action or new
home at the very lowest prices, can OBJ
tain reliable information concerning
Southwestern Missouri, the Cherokee
and Choctaw Nations In the Indian
Territory. Western Arkansas, Eastern
Texas, Northwestern Louisiana and the
Coast country, and or the business OPP
portunities offered therein.
Write for copy of the X. C. S. AL
manac and address, s. G. Warner, G.
P. A., X. c. S. Ry., Kansas City, Mo.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

The man with one foot in the grave
finally gets there with both feet.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

An ounce of "I'll try" is better than
a ton of 81 can't"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13
eoNu m WINTER.

Ger the hill the pangent west wind dirges
Deeply shrouded in each meadow way;
Night in day. and day In night time merges
In of white and
Rainbow gold of promise?-not ray!
Desolation rules with Icy sway! ii
Swing o planets. shining courses!
the wntry and pain!
Work your wonder vernal forces!
Let 1t throbbng through the rain
The old tender and ecsatc strain:
April buebird back again!
Clinton scolard in The churchman
~"@8 S}s Rsae@~
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13
A perfect sumner.

l? For I'm really awfully glad about
it,"
But the next day was the strangest
of all. Nita didn't speak to me once
while we were dressing. Il was ra!her
glad, being late myself that dayo She
iidn't speak, but her face fairly
beamed.
At bed time she was still beaming
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

Self-esteem often suffers from over
exertion.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-03-13

yelled this last in my ear, evidently
forgetful of her warning to me while
hef0re
, 1903-03-27
One on Depew.

Returning recently from one of his
annual trips to Europe, Senator
Chauncey NJ. Depew was, as usual,
the center and life Of the group which
had gathered in the steamers smoking
room after dinner, and all of his most
ancient stories were brushed up and
made to do duty once more. Nearly
all of the other passengers volunteered
various contributions to the general
entertainment, but one old country
nan sat in a corner every evening,
smoking his pipe in silence, broken
only now and then by a cultural
chuckle. AS the steamer neared New
York Mr.. Depew proposed to the 9th
ers that he should have a little fun
with this old hayseed and try to get
4 rise out of him, and, calling across
The room, he said:
Mr.. Jones, all the rest of us have
been doing what we could to amuse
the company during the voyage, but
we have not heard from you. Can't
you tell US a story?"
Mr.. Jones could not think of any
story.
well, can't you sing us a sonS?"
oh, no! Mr.. Jones could not sing.
"Well, you certainly ought to do
your share; perhaps you can give us
4 conundrumL"
Well, he had been thinking of a co
oundrum, MI. Jones finally admitted.
and it was this:
What is the difference between Mr.
Depew and a wild turkey?"
When no one present could suggest
he answer Mr.. Jones drawled out:
"Wall, a wild turkey amt stuffed
With chestnuts till after he's dead"
, 1903-03-27

DUKE OF TETUAN seventeenth &c =
fury on the collapse of a war which
they and the O'Neills, of Tyrone,
waged against the English invaders.
In the last century the Duke Of Tetu-
ans father, Marshal Leopold O'Don-
nell and the first Duke of Tetuan,
came into prominence for the part he
took in expelling Joseph Bonaparte
from Spain. In 1861 the same general
subdued the Riff tribe of Moors. in
Morocco. and thereby earned the title
Of Duke of Tetuan, after one Of the
towns of that country which he cap
tured. Prior to that he was prominent
in putting down the revolt of 1848
and became Prime Minister Of Queen
Isabella.
The Duke of Tetuan who has just
died served for many years as Minis
ter of Foreign Affairs and In such
capacity received our Minister, Mr..
Woodford, when the latter was ap-
pointed to the Spanish mission. Dur
ing the Spanish war period his name
was mentioned in connection with the
premiership. In 1899 he vas Spaln's
delegate to the peace conference at
The Hague.
, 1903-03-27
Ais

"Well, FISH," said Mr.. Ryefuddle,
partially steadying himself by clawing
on to the door-frame and gazing at the
wife of his bosom with f1shy and TO.
cusless eyes. sis the (hic) first time l
ever saw a liynic)ing puzzle7picture.
Now. which of the two Is (hic) which
and which is not (hic) which? In osher
words, which of 'em is (hic) and which
of her amt one of (hic) EN-? On the
ozher hand, which one of the two THAT
l see is the (hic) n l don't see. and
which Is the (hic) one 1 see but don't
think I do? pause for a hic) re-
ply"
N. Bile got ~it.-Judge.
, 1903-03-27

Routine is exceedingly strong In Rus
STA. There is a day in June upon
which, says tradition, it becomes safe
to bathe in the rivers, after the winter
freeze. No matter how warm the.
water may be earlier, no matter how
cold it may be on hat day, then is the
time to take the first swim. Other fixed
dates are mentioned in Ivan at
Home" by Herbert Barry. OF course
the statements do not apply to all Rus
slams, but to the average peasant only.
No mar dare touch an apple before
the sixth Of August, however ripe the
fruit may really be before that day.
He does not believe it is fit to eat.
81 The village sportsman, although he
may have observed the blackcocks
fighting among themselves unusually
early, owing to the warmth of the
spring, cannot make up his mind to
shoot them until the appointed day has
arrived.
No traveller will start on a journey
on either a Monday or a Friday.
Although the delay is strongly
against his own interests, the fisher
man will not cast his nets before a GER
tain day, whstAer the season be late
or early.
No lamb is supposed to be able to
reach the age of mutton should 1t have
been born before the day named in the
peasants calendar. And so on through
all the common events in their daily
life does this attachment to fixed dates
hedge 1 n a Russians e~xistence.
, 1903-03-27
clock" isaid Jennie, but again May
frowned upon the suggestion.

clock" isaid Jennie, but again May
frowned upon the suggestion.
mo" indeed! That won't do. Jonas
has no end of clocks and needs no more.
Let's give him something that he would
never dream of getting for himself"
"Oh, glrls!' broke In Sallie Green,
with "a ringing laugh. 1--WE thought of
the very thing! Let's give Jonas a wife
for his birthday present! He has ev-
crything else that he needs, and you
know he Is altogether too timid to ever
secure a wife without some assist
ance!'
Won't he resent it?" asked the girls,
timidly, but May checked them i'm
periously.
Certainly not, if she is the right one.
What man would? The only thing Is
to see that she is In every way worthy
of him, for Jonas is really a splendid
fellow, even IL he Is bashful. Jonas
shall have a wife for his birthday, that
much is settled! Now, who shall she
be, and how will we present her2'
The three girls sat for a moment in
silence; then suddenly May was struck
with a bright idea. The other girls
stared at. her In breathless amazement
when she told them what it was.
"Why, May Gardner, you must be
crazyp they cried simultaneously.
"Not a bit Of ltT' said May, stoutly.
"Now, see here, girls, be sensible. Here
we are, getting older and older every
day, and not a man In the village that
Is marriageablel except Jonas. Now,
we all like him, you know we do; but
II we wait for him to propose Wen all
die old maids, and that would be
awful. All Jonas needs is a little en-
enlargement, and no one will ever
know that we used our influence for
each other"
And, finally, her reasoning prevailed,
possibly by the aid of a tender senti-
ment existing toward Jonas In the
hearts Of both the blushing maidens.
Il say, Jonas, you'd oughter be think
in of marryin'," said Uncle John Gard
ner shortly after the important agree
ment between the three young ladies.
81 s'pose So" said Jonas absently,
with a little blush. T.
Pears to me you'd better be ookin'
, 1903-03-27
WHAT WOULD YouTAKE FOR MEa

She was ready to sleep as she lay IN my
arm
In her little frilled cap SO fine,
With her golden hair falling out at the
edge.
Like a circle of noon sunshine.
And / hummed the old tune Of "Bsnbury
Cross"
And Three Men Who Put Out to
Sea-"
When she sleepily said, rs she closed her
blue eyes:
Papa, what would you take for me p
And l answered, "a dollar, dear little
heart"
And she slept, baby weary with play,
But l held her warm in my loye-strong
arms,
And I rocked her and rocked away.
oh, the dollar meant all the world to me,
The land and the sea and the sky.
The lowest depths of the lowest place,
The highest of all that's high.
all the cities, with streets and palaces,
With their people and stores Of art,
would not take for one low soft ,.hrob
OF my little ones loving heart;
Nor Of all the gold that was ever found,
In the busy wealth finding past,
Would stake for one smile of my darling's
face,
Did I know it must be the last.
- >gfNsst
30 I rocked my baby and rocked away
And I felt such a sweet content, =
Fer the words of the song expressed more
~ toime, q -'sf- =
Than they ever before had meant,
And the night crept on, and I slept and
~. dreamed E.
OF things far too gladstone to be, -.
And, I waken'd with lips saying close In
-, my ear;
Papa, what would you take for meY
Eugene Field. i
, 1903-03-27
One of the signs,

The member of Congress was a new
one In Washington. After he had fin
ished his dinner at the restaurant the
waiter brought him pie for dessert. and
there was a knife with 1t. The new
member looked at the pie and 1at the
knife.
Major" he said to his companion
do you think that waiter suspects
am a Western Congressman
Hardly. How should he know any.
thing about it? You were never in
here before, were your"
mo"
"Then how In thunder does he know
who you areT
81 don't know. But II he doesn't what
did he bring that knife With the pie
forT-New York Times