The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-02-08
FUN OF THE WORLD.

theater written by popular author very strongly
cast which amused us all much could hardly
rehearse it. Charles Hawtrey used every now and then
to warn us: Now don't speak that: there
certain to be big laugh and don't them to
miss the next line We rehearsed weeks. On
the first night nothing went wronsbut the piece There
was not one laugh round of applause from
start TO finish We took of the comedy days
ing which we rehearsed stop conventional
act farce with literary pretensions think it ran
for year.
z q
One of Dr. Lorenzs compatriots chuckles every time
he tells this anecdoe which an actua, occur
renee in the great surgeons
The doctor always charitable and treated a
great many people gratuitously. Among them was a
little girl in whose deeply interested
One morning DR.. Lorenz happened to her mother
and surprised his patient had died a
few days before
Why didn't you send me when the change came -.
he asked.
were going to do So sir but we thought it bet
ter to let the dear child die natural DEATH
fearful answer.
At the close Of the long parliamentary tangle the
claim bills House Representatives after the
House had been eight everybody
hungry John Wesley Gaines. Tennessee.
jumped up said:
Mr.. Speaker a parliamentary inqury?"
This the thirty parliamentary in
Quiry Gaines had made, and the Speaker roared:
The gentleman will state it,
Mr.. Speaker" said Gaines. delighted. what 1
sire to know how it is Mr. Speaker in the OF
Mr. Speaker said Representative Olmstead II sub
NIT that the gentleman is in his usual position. year
behind"
And the hard hearted wretches adjourned leaving Mr.
Gaines in the middle of his sentence.
RE sg
Among the visitors to Secretary Hay this week was
Brigadier General Andrew Burt U. s. retired
throughout the Colonel Andy Burt" says the
New York News Preferrng active Of
clerical duties in the department he has always chosen
and secured posts the frontier.
Colonel Burt tells himself story that is ilusra
tive both of his democratic nature and of his respect
for army discipline.
ardent rooter a fairly good player
himself he had always taken the highest interest in
the games between the Twenty fourth Infantry (hs
menD and others. 1t negro regiment. but that
made difference
critical game was called and he. although colonel
of the regiment. volunteered to fill short
He accepted. and he assured the boys that
all considerations of rank to be dropped during
the game
side was at the bat. the colonel was at first
playing off for second when the coacher his
side yelled:
Run. you bow-egged son of a mule. Why in bazes
dent you rum"
The colonel and brought in a and when ne
reached the batter's bench he blazing
You impudent scoundrel; I'll have you in the guard
houset
Then he remembered the circumstances under which
he had entered the game. He added
III again address the colonel Of your regiment
in such manner
When Buck Kilsore in constituent Of
his from Texas doomed in the main doorway of
House and asked:
lis Kunne Kilgoh on de hoh?"
NO" replied the doorkeeper. "Kunnel Kilgoh Is
de fob. He dis doh a minute ago and
be back moh''
The next day. that doorkeeper was ready to accept
responsible position with the Capital Traction Co.
Some had moved Ito strike The enacting
clause" of bill and the member hadn't had
chance to anything the House floor yet in
qrired:
Mr. Speaker. if adopted. what condition it leave
the bill imp
Speaker Henderson becloned for the Congressman to
approach the rostrum and whispered:
Just as If it hadn't was"
x x x
An old farmer of the door Of the state
house the other day and glance showed
that in he deeply impressed. He pulled
his down his with jerk. butoned his
overcoat up and bit off chew tobacco with
energy Behind him down the steps all grace
and beauty. fluffy feathers and soft furs. Her eyes
shone. too. but with the keen light mans
We wondered what exciting had up
cussion since left House roll No II
had been kept up variations except
to number and had voted IL dull
20. say called Sara laughing she down to
MS Isn't 1t great fun. I've Just had the joiest time
Did you see Harry jam through that crowd Just
bring sack of peanuts? Got his hat Knocked or
and lost glove. Wasn't it Just too Of him
any good use?"
to an acquaintance and shook his head sterniy.
There's mighty sight Of precious time wasted IN
there-a mighty sight OF precious time"
So in legislative halls much depends on the viewer
and the point of view.
sE sEs
During engagement In the Transvaal war General
De Wet amused by a Jew who up o a burgher
who lying behind a piece Of ground
powders Sell that half a
crown" whined the Jew Get OUT cried
II want il myself Il VIII give you fifteen shiIlngs"
insisted the Jew. De adds that although the Boer
had before possessed anything risen
value with such surprsinging rapidly
Jew and without any hesitation he positively declined
to do
Z <
Stand UP. Kingsley Skies" said police Justice,
relates the Chicago Tribune police reporter.
The prisoner stood up.
lousy. and with malice afoTefbought fcIoniousy re-
moved. carried away and appropriated your
and behoof certain valuable goods. wit
fuls Of hard coal belonging Jessie Hardexy
time during the night OF January In the &c A. D.
The being 10 contrary the statute such
Eases made and provided. ard against the peace and
dignity OF the people Of the state % Illinois what
you 70 say Are you guilty. guilty.
Il guilty. jedge' rerlsed prsonsr Il stole
hem other things you've been s.yfn'.-