New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-12-25
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

IhS Is ceruleO 10 on the pest pTleSIly dullOA4SSB
and serious consequences in the hereafter are guar
anteed. To drown here is also forbidden by the
prefectural authorities"
Properly Overwhelmingly troubled with
headaches in the morning. 1t may be on account
of my eyes; perhaps ! need stronger glasses,
glasses-and Observation-Disclosures philadelphia Press
The Anglican Bishop of Gibraltar. whose death is
Just announced, once the victim Of the late
Popes gentle. but peculiarly penetrating, gift OF
sarcasm He was admitted to audience at the
Vatican. and, according to those present, seemed
rather disposed to stand on his dignity. But Leo
XIII effectively nonplused him with the subtle
opening: ct believe my lord. that have the honor
to live in your lordship's diocese"
A MELANCHOLY PLIGHT
This This. cid world eeems cosey place
Describes the various microbes which
On wicked pranks insist.
Ny full approval I'd express
In TnTest fdc ed t9 fit11s font
I'm worried by the germs.
And now 1 cannot be content
To breathe eat drink;
These base bacteria have brought
Me to starvaton's brink.
I know that shall pine away
And sink into despair.
Unless get a house OF glass,
With antiseptic air.
A French provincial matchmaker sent a number
OF his watches to teachers, inclosing stamps for
their return If not wanted. One teacher. who did
not want the watch sent him, refused to return It,
and suit brought against him, whereupon he
brought a countersuit for 20 francs damages for
annoyance and waste OF time The court awarded
him 10 francs and informed the manufacturer that
he should have called for his watch
asked %spiendidi" he Exclaimed. radiantly II
didn't Kill single person."-(Puck-
One of the local public school teachers. reports
'The WASH ington Star" insists that her pupils
shall keep abreast of the times by reading the
newspapers every day. and in order to learn If her
directions carried out nterrogates the members
of the class each morning the school is in session
regarding events of general interest What is the
name applied to the situation when has
more than two wives?' inquired the teacher
Gently, having IN mind the protests against Reed
Smoot being allowed TO retain his seat IN the
United States Senate. Nearly ali the children
present raised their hands. each eager to reply.
"Polygamy." answered the child designated Cor
rect" commented the teacher. very much pleased.
Now, who can tell me the name applied when a
man has two wives?" The raising Of hands
not general. but the pupil called on was re-
warded with THAT is right when he reped: Big
amy" Now" added the teacher. what is the
name applied to the situation when a has
only one wfe?' After long pause solitary hand
was hesitatingy raised. We'll" suggested the
teacher to the lone volunteer, tell the class what
is the word to which refer" "Monotony"
Joe Tapley. tells how. he came across Phil May
learn that It was Phis fourth consecutive night
with his boots on; what's more the tenor's timely
Never mind Joe, Wen make bargain" said
Phi don't you lose any sieeP on my I account
bed!'-(Sporung Times
The racing associations all over the country have
had such successful meetings in 1903 that many OF
them will increase the value OF their principal
stakes in 1904 But no American owner has been
fortunate enough pile up a remarkable total of
gains. The most successful of them has only about
100000 to his credit, while French turfman gloats
over aggregate Of $4,000. Here the profits have
been widely distributed while in France there has
been something like monopoly.
what makes you so bad, Tommy7- asked an
old lady Of q precoctous youngster.
Cause the good die young answered the .n-
corrigtole Tommy.-(Chicago News.
This advertisement appeared recently IN an Aroos-
took exchange:
, For sal2 st R. and P, farms on. the limo
can dodge the constable Of either town Good
sir and fine spruce scenery. Good society, two
when one commences to tumble you can move into
are careful not to raise too much Also lean to-
or men preserve The farms win raise anything
& Thsra goao b@ n9d on k ely
place There is high land where the potato rr Iif
pasture where the gentle heller can refresh herser
f MR0se a aua Rpd depths H Of Ss6d water woodland
to the domestic hearth. a perennial spring of
Adams ale the front mansion. And IN the
opening spring the teathered songsters the grows
make the air vocal with their melody Air and
songsters 20 with the place. likewise the ren1anda-
OF the grove and the aforesaid limpid water. So
cety. scenery and giltedge chrome thrown in
store, sehoolhouse and starch factory within
reasonable distance Only the church Is lacking
T town ha " to Ton %aR or o s e. the
Both farms for S70o. Only modicum or cash re-
CURED. balance IN promises long drawn out
''The Hawville Clarion" remarks '"Ths Hickory
a..
ever suffer from brain fag." We answer the
question in part anyhow. The microbe that edits
The Hawville Clarion" never suffers from It. He
hasn't any brains 10 be tagged We are always
glad to be able to shed information for the benefit
OF the ignorant.
An eccentric old man IN Cohoes
Always bought "ehildren's size suits Of clothes
II. can never decide
49,, When I'll need them" he cried
Second childhood comes quick-goodness kuowsf''
-tColumhla Jestes,