The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-07-12

so. no matter who takes the initiative, the
dressmaker is pretty sure TO get beaten in
a legal bout.
A CHANCE FOR wAGERS.
Cats and dogs are frequently the cause of
dissension among women. The fight some
times hinges on the possession OF the ami
NAL, sometimes on its determination. All
trials in which 4 cherished pet figures as
the principal character work themselves
out into a real tragedy for the contestants,
and are productive of copious showers of
tears. Old courtroom habitues with sport
ing blood in their veins and not enough
money in their pockets to get to the race
track hail these lifts with a certain amount
OF satisfaction. They give the fellows a
chance to do some betting. Women have
the knack of presenting startling bits OF
evidence at unexpected moments, and in i
careless way that indicates their total ig-
norance OF the legal value of their chance
remarks; hence il is a close question clear
up to the time the last word is in as to
which is going 10 spring the greatest sur
prise on the court, and the hanger-on who
is able to pick the winner and add a dollar
or so to his account prides himself on the
possession of extraordinary discrimination
UMBRELLA WARS IN COURT.
Umbrellas are the source of much trouble
TO women with a propensity for fighting
things out in court. In a certain West Side
courtroom a 9S-cent umbrella has been the
nucleus Of a storm that for the past six
months has been tearing tempers to tatters
and making long drafts on the dictionary
for new words that will do justice to the
middle. The umbrella has become quite a
curiosity and has been hung aloft on a kind
of pedestal, so that it's dropping blue folds
may greet the eye of the visitor the minute
ne enters the room. 1t belonged originally
to a young woman who has the boarding
hOuGn habit nna hQU Whilp gratifying her
passion for moving around, the young wom-
an tumbled into a front parlor OF the TO
Let variety. The woman who superin-
tended the letting was an amiable widow.
She liked the young woman; the young
woman liked her. They came to an agree
ment. The young woman moved into the
front parlor. She had many things to
move. The landlady tried to enumerate the
things, but the chances are that she missed
a few. Among the things she counted were
a piano, a Morris chair, a folding bed and
the blue umbrella. In their case, as in
many others, realization fell short of an
ticipation. The two had expected TO be
bosom friends, but they were not. I'M fact.
they did not get along ut all, so one lay, in
the absence OF the widow, the young wom-
an secured the aid of two expressmen and
moved out. She took the piano, the Norris
chair and the folding bed, and all the other
things the landlady never got a chance to
count, but she left the umbrella. When
the landlady found her room dismantled
she said, 81 will fix her."
How will you do it?" asked her son.
with this" said the landlady, and then
she brandished the umbrella viciously.
The young woman came back one day and
asked in gentle tones for her umbrella. She
did not get it on account of having moved
without a weeks notice. The genteel polish
faded from the young woman's manner and
the peaceable look from her eyes.
Il will take the affair TO court" she said.
And she did. 1t IS in court yet. Day
after day the contest over that umbrella
has been put off for one reason and another,
and the attendants are beginning TO wonder
If it will always be put off. The umbrella
is the only character in the comedy that
seems undisturbed by the dragging of
events. Its serenity is unassailable. Through
all the postponements and wraDgling it
rests on its pedestal and exhibits not enough
interest in the matter 10 feck one particle
of dust from it's faded folds.
Once In a while women call on the admin
istrators of the law to settle disputes over
children These cases are managed with
less friction, however, than chickering's over
umbrellas and pets and dressmakerS' bills
and consequently are less frequent.
Beauty doctors and their patrons are liza
BILE to have serious MISUNDERSTANDING which
nothing short of the law can explain away.
By a mistake in the properties Of certain
drugs hairdressers turn precious locks green
instead of red, complexion specialists jab in
an electric needle with reckless abandon,
and manicures trim the nails too closely.
All those little drawbacks in the art of &C
curing beauty as she is cultivated in the
metropolis these days are discouraging, and
IL takes a set of lawyers a judge and some
times a jury to set the matter straight.