The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-11-22

to every applicant who encloses five dol
lars in money or postal order by which
ne or she can win a fame as great as
Tennysons without leaving home, your
harvest will be rich
l scratched my head in perplexity
L don't see how I can guarantee Ten
nyson's fame to those who would pur.
chase my vocabularies," 1 ventured.
You can't. That would be a swindle.
After they get your vocabularies it's up
to them, of course, to do the rest" said
Munchausen. ut is only the way Ten
nyson arranged his words that brought
him his success, and it will be only in the
way these patrons of yours use the larger
vocabularies which you furnish that will
bring them theirs. In any event, if you
sell as few as a thousand vocabularies at
five dollars apiece that's five thousand
dollars, which strikes me as a pretty good
return on the thirty cents you pay for
the idea
Munchausen Dividends.
Heavens" I cried, cts 166, 100 per
cent-they send men to Jail in this coun-
try when they get up as high as $50 per
cent
mot the same thing at ALL said the
baron. Those $40 per cent chaps never
gave the public anything for their money.
They Went in for pure imagination undi-
uted. You, however, do give something
in return. You give a man a vocabulary
that's worth every cent he pays for it,
whether he becomes a TennySon or not.
If he can't use it that's not your fault.
If a chap comes to me and buys a set of
carpenters tools, I'm not a swindler be-
cause he doesn't know saw from tooth
pick or a jack plane from tack hammer
and is therefore unable to use what sell
him.
Il still think 1 should be answerable
to the law for imposing upon human
credulity" said l.
well, it's easy enough to get around
that" said the baron. With each vo-
cabulary send along copy of Tennyson,
in one volume, and call it How to Use
EN-; or, a Handbook to TennysOn VO-
cabulary.' Then you have done every
thing you could do to give quid pro quo"
''Weu, anyhow baron' said l. the
idea is worth thirty cents and here is my
check for the amount. You'll have to get
something better, though, if you want to
get on in New York It's deeds, not
words, that count
Il know that" said the baron. That's
why 1 want to get started and float my
United States Ambergris company, to de-
velop the ambergris mines of South Da-
kota.
rs there ambergris in South Dakota?"
I asked.
w nat s ChdI got TO Go Win II Quetleu
Munchausen. Il don't say that there is,
but there's no reason why we shouldn't
start a company to be ready for such
mines if they are ever discovered
l shook my head sadly.
Never mind" said the baron. "You
needn't be unhappy about me. l know
what 1 am about and 1 understand this
age pretty thoroughly When L lived in
Bodenwerder 1 made the awful mistake
of devoting my fancy to the mere enter
tainment of the public. Now I'm going
in on a different basis. Imagination is
my asset and I'm going to work it for
all it is worth incorporate it, organize
it, devote it to the enrichment of my own
pockets, and take my place among the
captains of industry.
LAS my cousin nine billion seven hun
bred and sxty-eight thousand, nine hun
dred and fifty-siX times removed, but still
dear to me, shall be glad to have you
come in and participate in the profits,
But if you fear it and are unwilling to
take risks that alone insure millions In
the future far be it from me to try to
persuade you. Meanwhile, can you get
me job to tide me over?"
WhereupOn 1 bethought me that my
friend Harkaway, of the Folly Buresque
Opera company, of Santiago, was in
need of press agent, and L gave my new
found cousin a letter of introduction to
him, but 1t was never presented. l have
since learned that the barOns reason for
not applying for the position was that
on his way to Harkaway's office he met
Mr.. Parker S. Watson president of the
Mulligatawny Trust company, of Vir-
ginia, by whom he has been employed to
promote the interests of the Brooklyn and
Jersey City Water Cress company, which.
controls the eel grass crop of Long ISL
and sound and is putting its shares on
the market, 60,000000 of preferred at 81,
and the common, amounting to 10000.
900, at AZ. On the whole, 1 think the
latter is the more profitable business,
though that of the press agent is vastly
more respectable.
I presume the baron chose the promo
ton of the Water Cress company rather
than the press agency for a burlesque
opera company because it gave opportu-
nifty for a greater play of the imagination.
Meanwhile the baron is very indignant
with me because the 30-cent check [
gave him for his vocabulary idea was
returned to him unpaid. Somehow or
other he cannot see why l should have
paid him for his drafts on his magma
ton with one of mine on a wholly imagin-
airy bank account which indicates to my
mind that he has no sense of humor. For
this 1 am sorry, for without q sense Of
>~humor in this world of sin and woe it is
difficult for any one to get anywhere, no
matter how strenuous his effort or how
able bodied a prevaricator he may be.