davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

"Well drop the subject" as the
king said when he threw one of tho
crew overheard.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10
The Best Results In Starching

Some pictures are like some peo-
ple-hanging Is too good for them
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

Those two between whom there are
40 memories are strangers.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

do you drink" inquired the
young woman's mother. The young
man hesitated. do you drink" the
lady repeated IF you insist" re-
piled the modest young man.
He-"Look at that woman on the
other side of the street waving her
hands about her head. Is she prac-
ticing physical culture?" She-"Mer-
cy, no! She's DESCRIBING her new hat
to another woman"
Jones-T wish you would figure
on a new house for me-" Architect
Something about FIVE thousand dol
lars?" Jones-"No; something about
FIVE hundred. I've only got Eve thou
sand to spend on It."
When q man Is about to get mar.
ried, In spite Of his best efforts to
get away, he is particularly mean
about It.
Diner-"Waiter, there is a slight
mistake. / ordered spring chicken
and a bottle of 1884 Pommery."
Waiter-"Yes. SIR" Diner-"You have
brought me some Pommery OF last
spring and a chicken Of 1884"
well, Tommy, how are you getting
on at SCHOOL," First rate l amt
doing SO well as some Of the other
boys, though can stand on my head J,
but have to put my feet against the
wall. want to do It without the wall
at ALL"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

There Is always room for man OF
force, and he makes room for many.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10
STORIETTES.

THAT fellow" said Alfred Henry
Lewis, the other day. when a certain
well-known Tammany man was men
tioned, puts up a good bluff, but there
is nothing to him Open the front
door and you are in his back yard"
Alexander Dumas good-nature
vanity was so undistinguished that
bis famous son once said of him in
his presence. MY father Is SO vain
that he is capable of standing in
livery behind his own carriage to make
people think he sports a negro foot
man."
Maclyn Arbuck'e, once a great favo-
rite here with the Frawley company,
recently received a mysterious pack
age at his hotel in Chicago 1t was
about pint of yellowish scented dust
evidently a toilet preparation, and
for week Mr.. Arbuckle used it after
shaving with a great sense of relief.
He had about exhausted the supply
when he received letter from the
proprietor calling attention to the box,
and saying: Nov that you have had
a chance to try 1t thoroughly will you
favor us with testimonial for our
Great Imperial Breakfast Food--sam-
pie box sent you week ago?"
The Journal des Debats tells
story OF the late Professor Rudolf
Falb. In 1874, he predicted an erup-
ton of Etna on August 9th. He
offered to Vienna editor to write an
account of 1t II the editor would send
him to Sicily. Falb was commits.
stoned. When he reached Etna there
was not the slightest sign Of distur-
bance. AS the twenty-seventh APP
preached. Falb was tortured by anx-
iety, and spent sleepless nights watch
ing the volcano. Nothing happened
on the twenty-seventh and twenty
eighth. The following morning his
servant rushed into the professors
room, shouting, can eruption, ter.
rible eruption!" Falb saw the spec
tacle, and sent off his dispatch.
Commenting on his first meeting
with James Mcneil Whistler, Mark
Twain Is reported as saying: Il was
introduced to Mr.. Whistler In his
studio in London. had heard that
the painter was an incorrigible joker,
and was determined to get the better
of him. If possible. So at once | put
on my most hopeless stupid air, and l
drew near the canvas that Mr.. Whist
Ter was completing. That amt bad,
! said; 1T amt bad, only here In this
corner'-and made as If to rub out a
cloud effect with my finger. I'D do
away with that cloud II I was you.
Whistler cried, nervously: Cad, sir,
be careful there. Don't you see the
paint is not dry? oh, that don't mat
ter said I; I've got my gloves on
we got on well together after that |"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

Women don't think much of doc
tor unless he has a dozen different
shades of pills In stock.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

''Mind your eye." as the thread
said to the needle.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

Mrs. winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teethng, softens the gums, reduces In
nanmston allays pain. wind coiic Csc bottle
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

Luxury is apt to transform pleas
ures into burdens.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

It's no credit to man to be good
Il the point Of gun.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10
THE IOWA SANITATION

1t might be just as well to remem.
Der that fast men are usually slow
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

HOUsEKEEPERS, ATTENTION
Try q package OF Russ Bleaching Blue and
you will use no other. l0c at grocers-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

A racing automobile isn't in 1t with
fleeing fame.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10
DRrssMAklNo scuoot

You are taught 20 make your own
clothes and to be self reliant. n It Is neces-
sary to make your own living Simplined
Nine HoI.EHAN. Dies Molnes. La.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

The hair dresser doesn't succeed
by having a pull.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10
Kelley Cure.

In Finland the East Turkestan
thunderstorms are wholly unknown.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10
Do Your Clothes Look Yellow7

Write 1t on your heart That every
day Is the best day of the year.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

can be obtained only by using Defiance
Starch, besides getting OF, more for same
money-no cooking required.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

some grocers say they don't keep De-
nance Starch. This Is because they have a
stock on hand Of other brands containing
only ~ OF. In q package. which they won't
be able TO sell first, because Defiance con-
tains f6 OF. for the same money.
Do you want 16 OF. instead OF IL OF. for
same money! Then buy Defiance Starch.
Requires no cooking.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

When You Buy Starch
buy Defiance and get the best. l6 OF. Tor 10
cents. Once used. always used.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

That's just my conviction" as the
burglar sala when he got five years.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

use Defiance Cold Water Starch, because IL
IL better. and o. more OF IL for same
nouey
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

Then use Defiance Starch IL will keep
them white-16 OF. for 10 ce,ts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

Stops the Cough ana
Works or the Cold
Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Price25c.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1903-12-10

Am Un-To.pate Housekeepers
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22
First Roer student at Cornell.

The first Boer student who ever en-
tered Cornell university, and one Of
the first delegation sent to this coun-
try from the universities of South AT
RIGA, has taken up graduate work at
the Ithaca institution. His name t.
Leopold Reinecke and he halls from
wellington, Cape Colony. He is of
Dutch descent, with slight admixture
of German blood, and has spent all
his life so far IN South Africa. Until
this year no student from that re-
gion has ever entered an American
university.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22

Demands of conventional fashion are
about TO exterminate the whole fam
lily of lizards in the United States and
to make deep inroads upon serpents
of many kinds.
Beginning with the dainty little
chameleon. held by the tiny gilded
chain that is the mark OF his captivity.
up to the handbag made OF the skin OF
the diamond back rattlesnake. and car
ried at the wrist OF the woman shop
ping. II looks az II the reptilian family
OF the twentieth century is doomed
Even to the scientist and the econo-
mist some OF the representatives OF
these creeping and crawling things OF
the earth pass into oblivion without
regret; to the masses. even. there are
others that will be missed because of
their harmlossness, their vivid chang
ing colors. and their disposition to
live their lives in those waste places
where so few other things OF life are
to be found.
The passing Of the alligator from
the rivers and swamps of the south
seems to be more surely and quickly
certain than does the extinction of
others OF the lizard tribe. Years ago
he was the d6spised and feared of all
the reptiles that came to the view of
the negro in the southern swamps.
The horrible water moccasin was moth
ing to the southern darky as compared
to the alligator, even though death
from the snake might come the quick
er and the reptile be lying ten to one
in numbers among the logs and in
the mud of the sluggish streams and
bayous. The gator always was the
armorcd evil one to the darky. but
the southern white man. hunting in
the same swampland for deer and bear
found the eye of the alligator an eS-
cellent target for his rifle, and In the
tooth of the saurian beautifully
adapted charger for measuring the
gunpowdcr behind the ball In his muz-
zle-loading gun.
Thus through all the years the alll-
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22
What Farm Life Can Do

John McAleese. former superintend
ent OF police and leading politician
OF Pittsburg. has forsworn politics
forever and is devoting his energies
to farming. On a recent visit to the
scenes of his former activities bo
onered reward of carload of pump
kins and a barrel of sweet potatoes
Tor any case of insomnia, Indigestion,
pareSis, political helplessness or gold
brick ague which he cannot cure. Said
cure is to be effected without the use
OF knives or surgery and by simply
living three months in every year on
a farm.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22
TO RID COAST OF SQUIRRELS.
California Farmers Will Spread Dis.
ease by incubation.


The farmers of Contra Costa coun-
ty. California, have hit upon a new
plan to get rid of the squirrel pest,
and through their representatives in
the board of supervisors have appeal.
ed TO the University of California tc
aid them. The new scheme will re
ceive the backing of the university.
1t consists of the spreading of a
plague that already exists among the
squirrels by artificial incubation. The
farmers of Contra Costa county have
lately discovered that the SQUIRRELS
have been dying off from some new
disease which has attacked them
But the pests have not been dying
fast enough to please the farmers,
who think they have found a way to
assist the disease.
Some bright mind recently suggest.
ed that the malady might be spread
by capturing a few of the diseased
animals, extracting the plague germs
and inoculating hundreds of others.
which would in turn infect those
among which they are turned loose
The plan seems to be a perfectly feas.
ible one and may solve the problem
of the squirrel pest. which has annoy.
ed farmers for a long time in Cali.
fOrLia.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22
The GiL
nlonSt0-s

west they grow to enormous lengths.
San Antonio. Tex. has long been "a
market for the slln OF the rattlesnale,
and hides seven feet long and nine
inches wide at the widest part have
been brought In there. Purses and
curios are made OF these skirs in tho
main. but from the larger skins hand.
bags are made. finished in the lnster-
less hues OF the snake as Il was In
life. The python OF South America
and other snakes OF the constructor
family are sought for their hides un-
til their kinds also are threatened
with extinction.
Various members of the tortoise
family have been victims OF fashion
and wealth for years. Nothing In the
cicvercst limitations of the shell has
ever approached the perfections of
the tortoise she'll comb In its various
shapes and styles. and AZ for terrapin
served upon the table, II holds its own
with the rarest of wines and the cost
Hest of other delicacles OF the world.
Aside from the suffering OF the saur-
ians because OF their valuable skins,
and shell. and teeth. the table OF the
pioneer In many sections OF the Unit.
I'd States and It's possessions makes
demand upon certain species. In Death
Valley. in California. one OF the most
repulsIye looking OF the lizard tribe
Is considered a delicaey OF first rank.
This Is the ehuckwalia, chunky crea.
ture of notified black. weighing about
pound, and feeding wholly upon the
vegetable creations OF the scanty soil
in which y makes a home.
The iguana Is the other edible lizard
and many OF them are found In the
Philippines. AS well as In Cuba and In
South America II IL most revolving
creature In form and color, and II FIRE
qucntiy IS found measuring three feet
In length. Its dclioacy of favor and
its unexceptional diet however. have
long made II an uuquestioned luxury
for the table OF the pioneer.
The horned toad Of the southwest
Is passing. Really he is of the lizard
family. and has the eharacteristics OF
the lizard family in that he takes on
the general monotonous shade OF the
soil upon. which he lives. II he be
found In the black earth OF Texas his
geheral tone VIII ne oiachs u hh Inv
yellow sand he will have n yellow
tone. But he is at all times harmless
and silent, and though denied trans
por.ation In the United States malls
he may be found In the brccches pock-
cts of thousands OF school boys in the
great southwest country.
The lizard family is going, steadily
and surely. without the consideration
that was shown the bird when fashion
fixed upon him as one OF its martyrs.
Suporstitious fear OF saurian and OF
reptile VIII hasten their going. In spite
OF the fact that few saurians ore men
aces to man and In the face OF the fact
that the rattlcsnako. the water moe
casin. and the copporhead are the only
poisonous snakes In North America.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22
SOMETHING HAD CHANGED HIM.
Privileged psrky Makes Caustic Re.
mark to Gen. Lonqstreet.

Gen. James Longstreet. the grand
old man Of the Confederacy," though
now eighty-two years old, enjoys ex-
cellent health and is in full posses
sion Of all his faculties save hearing,
He is very deaf and uses an ear tube,
which his wife carries. He lives in
a hotel at Mount Airy, Ga, and finds
his deafness useful as a buffer against
uncongenial company. Not long ago
the generals old negro nurse called
on him, as he frequently does, with a
view to drinking his health. "Marse
jim he asked, do you belong to any
church, "Oh, yes" replied Gen.
Longstreet, Il try to be good Christ.
ian Something must have scared
you mighty bad to change you from
what you was when | had to care for
you,' was the response
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22

Two young Englishmen, Frederick
John Pollock, son of Sir Frederick
Pollock of London, and Harry Gorell
Barnes, son of Sir John Gorell Barnes,
entered the Harvard law school. Pol
lock is "a years of age and graduate
of Cambridge. His father is one of
England's greatest jurists, author of
many books on legal matters and me
diseval institutions which are quoted
as authorities everywhere. The un-
derstanding is that Mr.. Pollock is to
stay here a year. or as much longer as
he thinks necessary. Mr. Barnes, his
companion, is 81 years old and was
graduated from Oxford last June.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22

gator has been hated and hunted and
despised; but after Il was discovered
that the hide OF the creature was
worthy OF place In the economy OF
civilization, and after the adaptability
OF its skin was shown in artistic hand
bags. yalises and suit cases, alligator
hunting became business and II has
continued a business until already the
alligator is becoming extinct. Nearly
5000 900 skins OF these creatures were
taken In Florida between the years
1880 and 1894. and even now in some
sections OF the state pot hunter may
bring In n score OF skins from nights
hunt.
But gradually these skins are be-
coming smaller and fewer. A skin
that Is two feet long must have come
from an animal that was at least 15
years old, while one that Is twelve feet
long is supposed to have come from
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22
KING OF FoRGERS FREE.
Notorious Criminal to Be Paid $500
Month to Be Good.

Charles Becker. called king of the
forgers," has been set free from San
Quentin, Cal, prison. Although it is
denied officially that the American
Bankers Association has agreed to
pay Becker pension OF $500 month
to be good" from now on the detec-
tives say that some persons have
undertaken to hire him at that figure
to refrain from further forgcries.
Becker is perhaps the ablest crimi-
nal living. His known forgeries
amount to at least 100000. He was
the head of the gang that stole
the Gainsborough portrait of the
Duchess of Devonshire, which was
restored years after the theft to its
owners, the Agnews, dealers, of Lon
don. In Becker's gang at that time
were Joe Riley, alias Little Joe;
Joe Chapman, Carlos Suskowitch, a
Russian forger and bunco man;
James Wilmont and Adam Worth. 1t
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22
IN. A. p, ON "LABeY,"
Tells OF His slavish Regard for the
Cigarette.

Tells OF His sIavish Regard for the
Cigarette.
Though enormously rich. Labou-
chere enjoys few OF the ordinary
pleasures that are supposed to go with
riches" writes T. p. O'Connor. "Iie
cats the simplest fare: he never
touches wine except when he Is bullied
into taking glass or two OF mild
c!aret by medical advice, and then he
swallows 1t as though 1t were medi-
cine. He has two weaknesses. One
Is his love Of cigarette smoking, the
other n mania for changing houses and
redecoration and rebuilding. He is
rarely without cigarette in his
mouth: indeed. this love OF smoking
amounts TO something like a passion.
Almost every half hour. even in the
midst of fierce debate or OF great
speech. Labby may be seen rising from
his seat In his lazy. indolent manner;
he is going to one of the smokerooms
OF the house to have his cigarette. 1t
is characteristic of him that he smokes
very inferior cigarettes. | asked him
once what kind he smoked. As long
as there Is quantity said Labby, with
his usual sardonic smile. II really
don't much care about quality"
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22
EFFECT OF RAIN ON ANIMALS.
Some Wild Creatures, Notably Wolves,
Enjoy II.

Some Wtld Creatures, Notably Wolves,
Enjoy II.
The effects OF rainy day upon AMI.
mails of n ZOO" said keeper the other
day. ARE as interesting to watch aa
anything | know in connection with a
collection OF beasts. Now. that big
wolf over there just revels in n rainy
day, and skips about as gay as you
please. All the wolves are the same.
Rain cheers them up. But the lions
are different. They fret and fume and
growl and snarl unless you give them
an extra allowance OF meat or n big
pan OF warm milk. Then they will
sleep. but a rainy day seems to get
on the nerves OF n lion or any of the
cat family. Snakes are kept in Just a
certain temperature all the time. and
you would think that the damp air
would never reach them. Perhaps Il
doesn't, but have always noticed that
all the reptiles are active and cheerful,
when 1t rains. The deer family. the
bears. the various sorts of Wild goats.
and the like, don't seem to mind tho
rain bit. Birds. however. are the
most dlsconsolate. dreary things In
the world on rainy day. They don't
sing, hardly chirp. but Just settle down
to be as miserable as possiblc,"-Ion.
don Tit.Bits.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22

A writer says: This tale was told
by an old friend more taan forty years
ago. He held commission in her
majesty's royal marines on the flag
ship of the North American squadron.
1t was hot day and the young lieu
tenant, feeling thirsty, asked the Irish
steward for some pale ale. Is 1t the
pints or the quarts that ye would like,
sorrT asked the steward. Are there
any pintsT asked my friend, limo.
Gently. There are not, sorr,' was the
decisive answer of the steward"
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22
Marriage Long Concealed.

Eleven years ago Mrs. Jessie
burbank OF Oakland, Cal, entered
into contract marriage with George
Wickware Gailoup. Galloup has been
dead for several years and 1t was not
until last week that the marriage was
recorded at San Rafael. The contract
was drawn up in Lorln and dated
Feb. 16. 1892, but was not acknowL
edged by notary until Nov. /. 1922
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22

Chamberlain
in
o.
Of and S
India
the a of
ca andpo including history England.
of
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22

The wagons OF the London fire com
pany are to be supplied with bells so
that the firemen will no longer be
compelled to utter cries 70 clear tho
streets.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22

Iling of Forgers. Freed and VIII Re
Ceive $500 a Month to Be GoodJ
was through the men last mentioned
that the painting was delivered upon
payment through a gentleman gam
bier" of a s25 ,OUO reward
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22
CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.
Secretary shaw's Satire at Expense OF
Government Official.

Secretary shaw's Satire at Expense OF
Government Official.
Although Secretary Shaw IL man
of diplomacy he enjoys loosing an oc-
casional shaft of satire. An official
who takes great pride In his dress but
who. in spite OF elaborate toilets, is
not conspicuous for his beauty. re-
Gently attempted to grow whiskers.
Evidently his effort stirred up domes-
tic objection. for few days ago. aiter
three months of assiduous cultivation
of black but somewhat reluctant
growth of beard, he appeared clean
shaven again, explaining to his col
leagues that II was his wife's birthday
and that In her honor he had removed
what she had bewailed as an unnec-
essary dis6guration
Forthwith he showed himself to
Secretary Shaw, craving commenda-
ton.
"Yes, congratulate you" said the
secretary. your case reminds me OF
the good wife who. venturing on
change In wearing her hair. timidly
asked her husband II he thought 1t
unbecoming.
".Bless you, MOI he exclaimed, try
ing his best to be complimentary; any
change would be an Improvement In
YOU PHILADELPHIA Post.
Wipng Out Accounts.
Dr. Morris Bailey OF Titusville.
Penn, lately celebrated his eighty
ifth birthday, and especially marked
the day by erasing from his books ac-
counts extending over half a century
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22

The deepest depression In the earth.
ascertained by sounding. is Ave and
fourth miles; the greatest height,
the peak of Mount Everest. Ave and
threc-fourths miles.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1903-10-22

The Sultan OF Turkey employs ff.
teen secretaries, whose duty IL is to
translate foreign books Tor his delec.
tatIou.