The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1903-10-09
Objected TO ONIONS.
the Odor Was Strongly
Against Him.

Il met relative of mine-pretty clos,
one-that I'd never seen before, when
got back to Washington the other day, >
said an army officer who returned from
tour of duty in the Philippines recently
states the Washington Star. ''The rela.
tive happened to be a son of mine He
was born couple of months after mad,
the start for the islands three years ago
I'll leave it to you to figure out how eager
ly have been peering forward to have
a look at that fellow during the long day.
and the longer nights Of those intermina'
BILE three years. The eagerness was ths
more acute because he's my first one
And I guess maybe 1t cidn't feel pretty
good when 1 at last found myself on tn.
train this side of the Alleghanies ant
only few hours away from that littls
shaver stranger and his mother
'T was due in Washington about l.
o'clock at night, and they tackled tn
dining car on somewhere around Harris
burg. I was hungry for United State
food, as 1 had been for three years, ant
didn't seem to be able to get enough o
1t. One of the things that made an in
slant hit with me was a nice long dis
full of f1ne-lookirg spring onions. litter
ed up with tiny particles of ice. Thos
onions were mighty attractive and ap
petizing-looking, I can tell you, to natu
ral-born lover of onions who hadn ttaste'
spring onion for more than thre
years. And yet looked those onion
over for quite awhile before tacklin,
them. 1t was so long since I'd seen m.
wife that was figuring that I'd probabl,
have to begin counting her all over again
and l thought to myself as gazed wolf
ishly at those onions on the nice Ions
dish, that it would be pretty poor be-
ginning for me to hike into my wife's
arms with the powerful and prosaic eff
luvia of spring onions on my breath.
II grieve to state. however, that the
onions won out. simply couldn't resist
EN-. 1 gobbled up the whole plateful
resolving that when I met my wife and
she noticed the aroma, I'd simply have
to throw myself on the mercy of the
court
''Well, my wife was at the station. of
course. to meet me. 1t was pretty nigh
midnight. She was too busy looking
me over and commenting upon my coat
IF bronze to mention the onions, even
II she had noticed them, and she had too
much to tell me about the kid. anyway.
as we sped uptown on the street cars.
''The kid was asleep, of course, and
when we slipped into the room and
turned up the gas suppose. maybe. ]
iidn't take good long look at the little
tike-and maybe, also. there wasn't a
lump about the size of an old-fashioned
gourd just at the point where my front
collar button presses against my neck.
Then grabbed the still sleeping kid
but of the bed. He opened his eyes and
surveyed me with calm scrutiny, while
gave him a hug. Then he turned his
head away from me. with very de-
cided expression of disapproval. This
hurt his mother and she instantly said tc
him:
why. Jackie, that's your papa.'
'"The kid turned his head away from
ne in the other direction and struggled
20 be turned loose.
4 don't care who he is he replied in
he calmest accents imaginable, I amt
l-goin' to let nobody blow onions al
,yer mei'"