West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-07-16
BROTHER GARDNER
He Delivers a Lecture ON Growing
Evil Among His Brethren.

lie Delivers Lecture ON Growing
Evil Among His Brethren.
My frcns OF dis Lime Kiln club, began
Brother Gardner. as he slowly rose up and
took calm survey OF Paradise hall. II
want to address yo' dis eavening In sad
ness. Oar am a knowledge in my heart
dat many things am wrong wild de culrd
| man. and dat Il will take mo- Influence dan
hev got to work dc reform I sigh fur.
"Fustly. dis yere American Nation has
gtown rich and powerful and extravagant
As dc white man has grown rich and ex.
uavagsut. he has set copy fur de Guild
man to follcr Up to Is years ago YOU was
content to live as yo'r fathers before YOU
Sich things as fried oysters. ice-cream aud
frosted cake war hardly known TO you by
name. You slept on straw beds aud belly.
cd in hoecake and bacon You went TO bod
soon arter sundown, and you got UP soon
after sunrise. II you had bu, one suit OF
clothes year YOU made en- do and it you
had rag carpet on de looh yo felt rich.
Dot was old times aud good times. and yo'
knew just whar' de Guild man stood.
ITS like a man waking up from long
sleep to look around him to-day DE Guild
man OF Is years ago has passed away aud a
new race has sprung up. DE humble
cabins hev given way to fats and houses OF
sebcn and eight rooms. De rag carpets
hev bin replaced by brussels. DE wooden
chairs good 'nuh fur our parents am seen
no mo In our homes. We used to tell the
time by chalk mark on de doah step.
Now we has two or three clocks In der
house. In de oldenp days u we had
picture OF Daniel In dc lions den hanging
on dc parlor wall we felt rich Now we
kiver dc wall paper wild lie paintings aud
want looking glass in ebery room A few
years ago u happened along TO de cabin
OF Givcadam lones bout supper time he
would hov axcd me 20 come In to snack an
should hev had hoe.cake, bacon aud con
coffee. Only two or three days ago. as |
called on him al his fat his wife said to
me;
"Brudder Gardner we shall feel highly
honored II you will consent TO remain and
take tea wild us
Il hadn't got ober my surprise when
sot down 20 a table on which dey was soup
roast beef. tatcrs, celery, salad. caaned
CON and two kinds OF cake. and when we
got frew eating we had coffee In ehIny cups.
don't say didn't enjoy da, meal but
went away from dat house wild sadness
tugging at nay heart.
"Waydown Beebee is porter In store
az - week and yet de luxury In his
house would make you gasp fur breath,
He's got one stuff rocking cheer dat cost
more money dan all do furniture his father
eber owned On de parlor Aoah In de
house OF Samuel Shin. who makes about o.
a week. am a rug wild sich richness in Il dat
you stand and shiber as you look. Pickles
Smith drives a boss around TO an express
wagon. and yit he's got marble topped
stand and a cuckoo clock. Absolute John
son cum ober 10 my house de odder day to
borry dollar. and yet he slept on ba'r
mattress aud has gold filled tooth.
Look around dis hall dis eayenln'. Oar
am no less dan 10 members of dis Lime
Kiln club wearin' dimun pins; dsr' am ober
30 wild gold watches: dar am 90 wild stand
up linen collars and so cent nccktles. and
de Lawd only knows how many feet am
crowded into patent leather shoes. (
amt quite sartin whether it's meeting OF
dc old Lime.Kiln club or a session OF de
United States Senate. | kin name 40
pussons among you who rent postofice
boxes. kin name as many mo- who go to
the theater aud to hossraces and parade
dc streets on Sunday wild yo'r hands under
yer coat-tails. II wastn'. ober an hour ago
dat Moses White was talking about buying
automobile and Elder Penstock was sayin'
dat he should spend de summer IN Europe.
"An dar's another matter I wish to
briefly refer TO. In dc days gone by de
cull'd man was satisfied wild plain words
de palmer de better. lie called n dawg
a dawg and spade a spade. II seems dat de
old way OF talking wasn't good nuff. DE
euli'd man wanted sunthing wild scollops
on 10 90 wild his dimun pin and cuckoo
clock. AS a sample OF IL. I was in a
grocery de odder day when Recollection
Hastings came In and obsarved dat owing
TO dc precarious condition Of de permanent
consangunity he felt compelled to abdicate
de percolation and buy pound OF Goldfish
stood dar' wild ohills going up and down
my back and | didn't get ober dc shock
fur an hour. Last week Overheard
Cartwheel Taylor telling Downright White |
dat de influential consequential proceedin's
Of de immaterial infiction OF de con.
saDguinity might detcrminatc de fallacious
perspicscily before de summer was over.
What he meant dunno and don believe
dat Downright did either Its got to sich
pass dat two cuiI'd men can't meet and
talk about dc new moon widout using sich
words as interchangeable. octogenarian,
ramihcations and cabalisiic. am Citing
skoeu TO 20 home fur fear dat dc ole
woman will meet me at de doah and Ak me
q ~ L. A.
tngulshcd dc generosity Of de pcrambula.
tions.
LAS told you in de beginning my heart
am full Of sadness. and realize dat can't
do nuffing. DE white man am rising up in
his riches and hunting out his big words IN
de dictionary and as a race VIC am Just
idiots 'nuR TO foller. We am libing far 10.
day. We amt caring fur tomorrow or de
poo.houses ahead Of ns De hoe.cake am
thing Of dc past, and cben de old songs
we used TO sing hev bin worked ober and
cbawod up nll all dc music has gone out Of
'em. ain't gwlne 70 Ak you to hold up.
bekaso II would do no good Az Ixe ewine
to say is dat n any contentious identity
comes 10 me and wants TO amrm de
rotundlty he will feel de concentration
rise up and bump again dc proyincialiiy.
Jist what mean by dat leave you 10
hgger out but you kin count on No. ~
shoe being In dar somewhar"
A----------------
Working Night And Day
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