The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-06-11
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! Short Stories:
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\ gentleman who was discussing
with the late Or. Parker the problem
of A future existence exclaimed: The
faef is. sir. | am an annlhllationist. |
believe that when ] die that will be
the end of me- THANK God for
that" Dr. Parker replied. as he show
ed his companion the door.
In his "reminiscences Of George
Washington. Or. Edward Everett Hale
/ tells OF the generals anger at Mon
mouth. when he met General Lee.
Washington asked Lee why such
column was retiring and Lee said that
he American troops would not stand
the British bayonets. Washington re
piled: You d-n poltroon, you have
never tried Them
The appointment of Vice Admiral
Lord Charles Beresford to the com.
mand Of the English Channel squad
ron has brought TO light new anee-
dote. Ii appears that he consulted Sir
Frederick Treves. whom King Edward
considers the best doctor in the world.
Tell me the symptoms" said Treyes.
As the admiral enumerated them the
doctor became more and more inter
ested. Excellent. charming, splen-
did" cried Sir Frederick. as the symp-
toms were unfolded to him, and when
the list was completed. said: Ny
dear fellow. let me congratulate you.
Yon have the rarest case Of the cen
fury. You are the lucky dog that here
tofofe was thought to be extinct
The chief wit OF the laboratories Of
the Sheffield Scientific Schools OF Yale
University Is a chemist who has an
unronquerable affection for an ancient
tan-colored lab coat that has long
stood guard between sulphurlc acid
aud its grateful owner; hence II Is full
Of holes. Being criticised In a Josh
ing bout ON account OF his holy
coat. the reactionary butt found an
opening for one OF his clever remarks.
Never you mind about The holes In
my coat" said he, these holes are all
right and don't you make any mistake
about it. They are the most useful
things in a coat. IL there were no
holes in a coat. how the devil could you
get into il, and these holes In partieu-
lar, they are the most useful holes IN
the world they save washing; all you
have to do Is TO use 'em when you
want TO wipe your hands on your coat,
and you don't get the coat dirty. II
you had holes a-plenty you wouldn't
need any coat at ALL"
William L. Curtis says that when
certain new Senator delivered his first
great speech In Congress. and was
| looking around for compliments he APP
preached Senator John T. Jones. the
venerable philosopher from Nevada,
while the latter was smoking his post
luncheon cigar in the cloak Of the
Senate. Did you hear my speech on
the Philippine question: inquired the
Senator. Il certainly did" was the
reply. May | ask you what you
[ thought of itf' "D-n good speech
/ calculated Jones. The young Senator's
face lighted up with pleasure at the
compliment as he resumed In con
/ fidential way: Senator Jones, you are
the father OF the Senate. and am the
youngest child, and | should like TO
[ ask your advice. Having heard my
speech, you can see what | am capa-
BILE Of, and | would be grateful II you
would be good enough to tell me
whether in your opinion, 1t would be
better for me to speak frequently or
hold myself in reserYeY Young
man." said the Senator. you've got n
d-n good vocabulary, and II you'll
take my advice you won't make any
more speeches until you have cult
waited your intellect up to It,"