The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-05-11
All Jokes are Ancient
Some Alleged Modern Jests were Popular
in Greece
III OreeCS.

1lIled nit grief ind shame" because he
/ CouIoh get through his head whether he
was Ct two twins Hans that was living
or Hacob that was dead"
| rms IS lust a little change rung on
/ the story of the fool in the Greek 6Jest
Book of Hierocles,'' who meeting one of
Two twins, the death of one of whom he
| mad heard Of. asked WAS it Won that
died, or your brother?"
/ mere was story current some little
! time ago about an Irishman who made a
I oeI with fellow workman that the latter
] could not carry him in his bod up a lad
/ ger 10 the fourth story Of a building The
/ workman put Pat in the bod and labOrf-
/ ously assembled At the third story he
stumbled and almost fell, but regained
| ascent in safety.
/ We'll" said Pat, when he was set
/ down. yev We won the fOive but l must
say tnat when We tripped that time 1 had
! Now this Joke has its basic principles in
I an old Greek joke about a man who agreed
( 10 pay his doctor fee If the latter cured
NM When his wife demonstrated with
MIN Tor drinking heavily when in a nigh
/ fever. he exclaimed. What Do Won want
me 70 get We'll and have to pay the doctor
An instance of an Irish bull is found
Z IN the same Greek Jest book in the story
Of the fool who was almost drowned me
Iirst time he tried to swim WhereuDon
ne SWOre ne would never 20 near the
water again until he had learned to swim
ne Iflooern Joke ABOUT the loaned UNI
breila Is certainly recalled by the follow
ing; Antiochus once set eyes on Lysi-
machus' cushion, and Lysimachus never
set eyes on his cushion again.
Numberless intances might be given of
ancient jokes upon henpecked husbands
upon the undesirability of the marriage
state after one is in IT. of the eaustic re
marks OF women haters, of men making
LLII OF Ihelr wives tDenInd their backs), of
clalrVoyants, nllSerS, legacy hunters etc
In fact, it is the man who is typical of a
class that in all ages has had to bear the
Drunt OF the SarcaSms directed against
the class. 1t is the concrete instance of
the abstract idea
Much might be written about the hui
morOus and bitter remarks in ancient lit
erature upon women MisOgynism was
rife in ancient times: more so than All
present Tor one OF the greatest instances
OF me world 5 progress is the improves
position of women In Greece especially
woman was looked down upon and her
position IN the best days of Athenian
glory was very inferior one.
This accounts for much of the bitter
ness against the sex to be found in Greek
literature
One man, Simonides of Amorgos. wrote
poem, in which he describes the nature
OF dItferent kinds of women by comparing
mem SucceSSlVely TO a hog, a fox, a dog,
mud, sea water, an ass, a weasel, a mare
an ape, and a bee OF these ten kinds The
last is the only one approaching respec-
liability. The poem winds up with this
sentiment: God made this supreme evil
woman; even though she seem to be
becomes a plague
Socrates, who doubtless had reason for
Inlnklng as ne Gid, on account of his
ShreWtsh wife. Xantippe used to saw
when he was asked whether it was better
20 marry or not: Whichever you do,
you will regret it." and once on being
asked what act Of their lives people most
commonly repented Of, he replied: Mar
riage."
Although the following remarks do not
come under the head of hUmOr, they show
now early some Of the ideas Thought 70
be original with modern financiers came
into vogue An ancient wealthy ship
owner was asked how he had ac0rlirad his
great fortune. My great fortune easily
ne replied; my small one by great exer-
ton
Andrew Carnegie has said that il is a
disgrace Tor a man to die very rich. But
many centuries ago a Spartan said to his
son: There is nothing on earth so dis
creditable as TO be found very rich when
one is dead"
These stories and tests might be multi |
pied almost indefinitely, but enough has
been said TO show that human nature is
the same IN all ages and all climes and
tnat IN the world OF wit and humor, as in 1
all other realms, there is mo new thing |
under the sun -