The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-08-13
Stories of Here and There

Maurice A. Mayfield, of General
Passenger Agent Whitney's office in
the Great Northern building, tells
story of an Englishman who is learn
ing how to dodge the American bunko
| man. The Englishman, Whitehead by
name, started from the old country to
| make his fortune in America, carrying
with him enough Of the kings coin to
| give him a start. On his debarkation
in New York he was approached by
man in uniform, who asked him what
| sort of money he had.
Gold and notes." said Whitehead.
Give it me and Ill give you Ameri-
can bills for it" ordered the uniform
| ed person. Whitehead handed over his
purse and the other gave him nice
wad of bills in exchange for his Eng
| lish money. Unhappily for Whitehead
the uniformed party had nothing but
Confederate bills with him and White
head had some trouble explaining to
the police. when he tried later to
change one of the bills.
| He was penniless and had no friends
| in the East, but he managed to make
his way up the lakes to Duluth. He
was determined to come on to st. Paul
| and get to La Crosse, where he has
brother Whitehead walked to st. Paul
from the head of the lakes, arriving
| here a day or two ago. He was rec
| commended to Mayfield, who succeeded
| in securing transportation for him to
| La Crosse.
Whitehead boarded Milwaukee
train feeling that he was beating his
! luck He had barely settled down in
contemplation of the reception he
would get in La Crosse when a man
| in uniform came along.
Ticket" said the man in uniform.
mo, you don't" said the English
| man. 1--we had me eye teeth cut, v
know
Give me your ticket" said the con-
| ductOr, fiercely.
when you get me to La Crosse"
| sort before
| Don't kid me-" said the conductor.
| 'You dig up the ticket or I'll throw
you off the train
| But you carnt do it," said White
head. I'll show it you, though" He
exposed his transportation and the
conductor went on through the train.
| I'll not be caught by another of
| those blooming bunko steerers," re-
! marked the Englishman to a fellow
passenger, and he held the ticket until
the brakeman called out La Crosse.
1t might have been the brother of
this>same Englishman who applied to
| ranchman in North Dakota for a job.
What can you do?" asked the
! rancher.
We'll, don't know much about
| farming, but [ am strong enough, and
was the champion sprinter of my class
| at Harrow" The ranchman didn't
much like the looks of him. but he was
| husky and might be taught, SO he put
/ him to work. The next morning he
| sent the novice out to look after \ flock
| of sheep.
In the evening a weary figure crept
painfully to the ranch house.
How'd you get along?" inquired the
| boss.
| '.All right with the sheep, but I'm not
i going to run about after those lambs
/ any more said the Englishman, drop
ping on the doorstep.
Lambs? What are you talking
about? There are no lambs on the
Don't make game of me-" said the
champion Splinter, cor I'll find strength
to punch you. 1 tell you I've been run
| mng down those lambs all day"
1 think you're daffy," said the
ranchman. Eat your supper and show
| me the lambs"
In the dusk of the evening the Eng
hshman led the rancher out to an old
| sheep pen. There they are" he said,
1 pointing trlumphantly to a number of
]. bounding forms inside.
~ Good Lord, "-gasped the rancher.
Inside the fold were a half dozen
! gaunt jack rabbits
| fofmer Congressman Frank Eddy is
i Irresponsible for the story of how Con
IssfeSsman Buck" Kilgore unceremoni
sously broke through one of the IRON
T ciad senatorial rules of exclusiveness.
f for many years prior to the advent
| OF hiigore one of the capitol elevators
/ was held sacred TO tha 1,Sas Of +bo
American house of lords. The mere
| congressman who dared invade its ex-
| ciuslVe precincts was met by a sable
conductor, who, with even more dig
nifty than senator, babe the Iuckless
representative be on his way to q
| more profane lift.
kllgore hot of head and huge of
frame, was rambling through the cap
| ltol when the desire to ascend TO the
| senate chamber materiaIized. He
stepped into the most convenient ele-
Vator and commanded:
Take me up
DIS elevatah 'sclusively for SEN
atahs. sah, replied the negro operator.
L m member Of congress, take me
up growled Kiigore.
undahstan', sab, but dis eIevatah
seIuslvely for de use of senatahs' sah."
That was too much for the hot
blooded Southerner He reached hack
TO ms coat collar and snatching out a
KNIFE with ten-fnch blade. lunged
close enough to the conductors throat
10 turn that dignified parsonage gray
with fright, and yelled
60 UP or to your own funeral
The gate banged shut and the ele-
Vator shot up with a conductor half
rode on that elevator without anv re-
monStrance from emDIoyes n, eapo+ore