davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-05-23
SURPRISING THE DOCTOR.
Case of Scottish Shrewdness Over
matched by Irish Wit,

Scottish shrewdness is occasionally
overmatched by Irish wit. The
handful of people who inhabit a GER
tain little island in the Atlantic, off
the coast of Donegal, enjoy SO much
health and so little wealth, that
there is no doctor on the spot. In
rare cases Of emergency a physician
is brought in a boat from the nearest
village on the mainland.
On one occasion, according to Lon
don Tit-Bits, some islanders who
were obliged to summon the doctor
found that he had gone to Dublin on
business. AS the case was urgent,
they invoked the services of another
practitioner. This gentleman was
q S~cctchman, with the proverbial
canniness of his race, and he declined
to undertake the voyage unless he
received has tee-a golden sovereign
in advance.
There was mo help for it, and the
money was paid. The physician
went to the island and attended to
the case. But when he inquired for
boat to take him away he found that
not a boatman on the island would
ferry him back again for any less
consideration than two pounds, paid
in advance.
The doctor had to part with the
two soyereigns and to admit that he
had been beaten at his own game.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-05-23
Curious Scientific Fact.

1t is known that radioactive sub
stances, like radium, impart radio
activity to other substances, and R.
Geigel has attempted to show wheth-
sr the absorption Of energy is accom-
panied by any increaseinweight He
was unable to detect any such effect.
With a muchmore sensitive apparatus
Carl Forche has repeated the work,
making numerous weighings Of Sc
grams Of lead, and has found that a
large mass Of active material half an
inch below the lead increased the
weight Of the latter about one part in
twentY-fve million.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-05-23
STORY OF A
The Painting of Secretary Shaw Of
the Treasury.

There are several good stories in
the new oil portrait of Secretary
Shaw, which is to grace the wall Of
the office Of the secretary of the
treasury, in accord with the time
hOnored custom of the department.
In the first place, says the Wash
ington Star, its cost is placed at
something over $4,000. 1t was
painted by Chartran in just 1hours.
This figures up to about S. a minute
for his time. Secretary Shaw went
to New York 10 do Ne sitting, ~
rather the standing, for the picture
represents him standing with his
hands in his pockets, a Characteristic
attitude. 1t is said by those who
know that the regular price for
such a picture by Chartran is Sc, 900,
but that while he worked the secre-
tary reasoned with himregardingthis
matter and that at one time he had
the artist scaled down as low as
$4,000. The artist at this point hap
pened to ask a question as to who was
to pay for the picture, whether it was
the secretary himself or the govern
ment. 0nbeing informed that the in
vestment was to be made with gov
eminent funds, Chartran deftly
touched his brush to one of the eyes
he was painting to give it the faintest
semblance of a wink, and immediate
ly raised his price to $500.
There was some question in the
mind of the secretary after Chartran
had delivered thequick production in
oil, whether or not the pose, with each
hand in a trouser pocket, was exactly
a dignifed attitude for a cabinet min.
lister. This the secretary quickly dis.
PEELED, however, and he exclaimed
aloud: "Well, my hands we're not il
the pockets of anybody else"
Measurements have been made Of
the portrait since it was delivered
and although it was executed without
the aid of a single measurement, il
is found to correspond exactly t.
life size. There is not a variation il
any of the lines in this respect. Tn,
picture was done in three sittings, anC
it took just an hour longer to go owe.
it with the finishing oils. The onl,
fault that can be found with the like
ness is Just the suggestion of severity
caused by the addition of a singh,
horizontal wrinkle between the eyes
This wrinkle the secretary does no
possess and before a suitable fran,
is selected for the portrait, it is doubt
/. less a correction in this respect vii
be made.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-05-23
A G EXPERIENCE.
Criminal Lawyer Made and Won a
Bet with the Bench.

Justice F. E. Duncan, of Des
MONIES, Ia, gained some experience
and incidentally lost one dollar to 4
prominent criminal lawyer recently,
says the Green Bag. The lawyer
dropped into the justice court one
day.
Are you ready to take up the Ada
HazelwoOd case?" asked the court.
Didn't know it was set for to-
day" replied the attorney. Thought
it was down for tomorrow"
mo; it was set for to-day, and the
witnesses are here"
"Well, let's put it off until to-mor-
row; we are not ready" pleaded the
lawyer.
"Can't do that" ruled the court.
"We'll take the states testimony
to-day, and you can put your wit
hVnoVe OH
"Well, you'll have to do it."
"Bet you a dollar you don't take
the states testimony" said the law
yer.
"Guess we will if l say So"
"Is the bet good?"
eyes; I'll take it,"
And the money was put up.
"The witnesses for the state in the
case against Ada Hazlewood will rise
and be sworn, ordered the court.
"No, YOU don't" retorted the law.
yer. "Wewaive examinatiomand viii
go to the grand jury. Give me the
two dollars"
And the court turned over the
money.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-05-23
OLD DAYS RECALLED.
Vivid Reminder of Burning Of the
Capitol by the British.

Capitol by the British.
A vivid reminder of the burning
of the capitol by the British in 1914
came to hand recently in the repairs
which are being made in the
document room of the house of
representatives, says the Wash
ington Star. This room is a three
cornered space in the northwest
corner of the hall of the old house,
or Statuary hall, as it is called now.
In making the repairs the old window
sashes were taken out. Underneath
was a charred window case, and when
that, too, had been removed, there
was a quantity of lead found; the old
window weight had been melted in
the fire and run down into the crew
ice of the stone wall. This was dug
out by Joel Grayson, and is being pre-
served by him as a memento. The
window sashes were covered with a
coat Of dirty white paint, but their
weight attracted the attention Of the
workmen, and the paint was scraped
off sufficiently to show that they
were solid mahogany, showing that
nothing was thought too good to use
in the original construction of the
canitol
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-05-23
EDUCATED CHINAMAN.
used the vernacular of the West
with Surprising Facility.

W 1fb 4
The educated Chinaman of the
present day is such a cosmopolitan
and understands so many languages
that it is never safe to presume on
his ignorance Of the local lingo. An
amusing illustration Of the truth of
this comes from Berlin. The kaiser,
complimenting the new Chinese min
lister on his excellent German, the
man in the yellow jacket replied:
81 can do better-I can speak the
Berlin dialect. One day, during the
occupation Of Picking, | encountered
a number Of your majesty's soldiers,
one Of whom, thinking that | would
not understand him, took the liberty
to address me as follows; wait, you
Chinese baggage; if ever l catch you
in the dark | will twist your queue
for YOU Shut up, you Berlin weiss
beer pot | replied, in his own YER
nacular, or | will knock all your
teeth into your bread basket Your
majesty ought to have seen the SOL
diers' faces" concluded the minister.
"If you yourself had addressed them
at that moment without warning
they couldn't have been more aston
ished and frightened"
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-05-23

INSURANCE..

Farm property insured, oc-
iupied by tenant or owner.
Risks written in my town in
county. Will come and make
personal inspection, and name
rate upon application. Will
INSURE ANYTHING. Write or
call on him at office in
Lexington.
The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1903-05-23
REAL ESTATE

Tor sale in Lexington. Farms
Tor sale. Houses to rent. II
you have any real estate to
sell place it in his hands-no
cost if no sale. Office in
Lexington.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13

G. II. Davis Is a business visitor here
from Salem today.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13
stepped Apainst . HOt Stove.

A child of Mrs. Geo. Il. Benson, when
getting his usual Saturday night bath,
stepped back against hot stove, which
burned him severely. he child was IN
great agony and his mother could do
nothing to pacify him. Remembering
that she had q bottle. of Chamberlain,s
Pain Balm In the house, she thought she
would try. it.c in less than half IN hour
after applying it the child was quiet and
asleep. and in less than two weeks was
well. Mrs. Benson is a well-known res
ident of Kcllar, Va. Pain Balm is an
antiseptic linimcnt and especially valua-
BILE for burns. cuts, bruises and sprains.
For sale by Stone & Mercer, druggists.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13

IN WEST
Salem Resident Aids His Daughter in
North Dakota to Take Care of
Large Grain Crop.-Move There
Next Spring.

H. 3. Davis and wife, of Salem
have arrived home from North Dakota
where their daughters, Mrs. George w
Brown and Miss Lille Davis, are located.
Mr.. and Mrs. Davi. have been in that
state since last July, and he was engaged
in helping the unmarried daughter take
care of the grain crop she raised ON a
farm of go acres she has acquired from
the government. The entire crop amount
ell to ! 200 brsleIs. Airs. Davis purchas-
cd a farm Of $50 acres also while they
were gone, and tsiey will move to it
next spring. Mr.. and Mrs Borwn win
90 to Washington state to live They
are quite well remembered here, Mrs.
Brown having been teacher an the city
schools ia c.nrlsbur=.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13
IMPORTANT
DECISION
RENDERED
By the Supreme Court of the state. the
Case Being One from the Cireuit
Court of This County.

An important decision was rendered by
the supreme court at Charleston. 1t wa.
the case of the State vs.. the Parkersbus;,
brewing company, and was carried MP
fEoue this county
The brewing company was indicted on
September .. 1901, in uhc circuit court OF
this county under sections Is aud 10 OF
chapter - Of the Code.
The Indictment was for permitting o
house exned by the Brewing company,
Al Salem. to be kept and used as sa-
loon. and knowingly permitting intoxi-
eating liquors to be sold and wendell
therein contrary to law.
When the case was called in the cir
e'iit court Of this county the defendant
moved 10 qna-h the indictmene but the
motion Wa overruled and the case was
tried before a jury. 4 verdict of guilty
was rendered and Judge Nilsson assess.
ed fiqe of 500 and costs.
There being six other cases of the
same Kind against the Brewing company.
an appeal was taken. The supreme court
reversed the lower court, punished the
indictment. which IS in effects q -termina-
tion OF the six cases. S,S~ 49,
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13
Home rreatu,enta

We have medicine for such troubles
as are canscd by stomach disorders re-
sultins in dyspepsia, sick heachache and
general weakness, that viii put the or
gans OF digestion in first-class working
condition. Eat wholesome food, have It
properly discstcd, and you have taken
away the cause of more than half the
us of life. This medicine Is called DIR.
Gunn's Improved Liver Pills. Sold by
all druggists for e5c per dox. Only one
for q dose. They do NOT digest the food
youseat,- but do the very best possible
thing. put the stomach in condition so
that the food you cat Is turned into
strong, rich blood. driving ont and pre-
venting discase. Women write Us that
they use nothing else for. the complexion.
They keep the skin clear. preventing pim-
pies and liver spots from appearing on
the face. and purify the blood. Stone
q Mercer, drusyists-
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13
EVIDENCE
INSUFFICIENT
warrant Against Isom Fultneer charg.
ing Him with Theft Of sas Dismiss
ed by Squire Gordon.

The charge of feloniously stealing
some SIS in money from II. W. Radcliffe
which had teen Instituted against Isoa
FuItneer, Of near Lost Greek, was dis
missed in .iagistrate S. W. Gordon
assizcs Tuesday afternoon. Last Satur-
day morning Fultnecr was arrested by
Constable luther j. Hickman near Lost
Creek and brought before Magistrate
Gordon in this r:ty. The Iatser set the
hearing for u Later date and released
him. upon bond. The ease waS brought
up Tuesday afternoon, but there not he
ing sufficient evidence to justify the
charge, -Ac warrant was dismissed.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13
DRUG STORE MrRovEMENrs.-

worsmen began Wednesday morning
on improvements on the Irwin building
on Third street, occupied by Stone 4
Mercer, druggists. The front of the store
room Is being torn out for the purpose
of putting in a fine glass front. The
door win be changed from the side to the
middle Of the front. This improvement
when completed. win make the front o.
the store quite attractive. Interior i'm
provements viii aiso he made with a
view to converting Il into a model drug
store.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13
90 ch-istma, ninnrr.

In spite u the fact s,at the word dys-
pepsia "a az literally bal cook. ii will
not be fair for many to lay the Blame
on the cook ii they begin the Christmas
dinner with little appetite and end it
with li-:=.ss or nausea 1t may not be
fair for any to 10 that--let u. hope 20
for .he sake Of the cook. The disease
dyspep>ia indicates a bad stomach, that
is weak stomach, father than bad
cook, and for weak stomach there is
nothing .ci-s equal to Hoods Sarsapa-
riiia- 1t gives the stomach vigor and
tone, goes dyspepsia, creates appetite.
and makes eating the pleasure it should
he
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13
Snre Crre for PTea.

Itching piles produce moisture and
eanse itching, this form, as well as blind,
bleeding or protrnding pilessare cured.by
DR.. Bo-san-lros Pile Remedy. Stops itdks
ing and bleea5ng. A6scybs tunors. 5ee
n jar At Druggists, or sent by man. Treat
BE free. Write me abort your case. DR..
Bosaniro. Philadelphia, r. For ale by
Stone & Mercer. drueeists =
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13
RESOLUTIONS OF coNDoIENcE.

Whereas, It has pleased God, the Faith
.er, to call to Him the soul of AIRS. Alice
Murray. wife of Sir Knight L p. Muir
ray. who departed this life on Novcn.
Der 18th. 1908. BE II therefore,
Resolved, That the members OF Com
mandery 1856, knights of St. John. cS-
tend to him their deepest sympathy In
this the time of his greatest sorrow in
the loss ola loving and devoted and
cheerful heipmate.
Resolved. That copy Of these resoin-
lions be sent our esteemed brother, that
they be spread upon the records of the
ComnnaDdsry. and that copy be sent to
the Churci, Calendar and the city papers
for publication. Z
T.. STRINCER BOGGESS, 4
I. NJ. DoNAHQE.
J. T. DRUDY. Z
Committee on Resolutions :
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13

d. n. Bailey's phySicians at Weston
cay that his condition Is much ippr1Ssd
70 the last twenty -four heufs and that
they now have hope Of his recovery.
Mrs. Thomas Petfierew;. Of Indianapolis,
Ind Mn. Dudley Britts 81 Carlksbrg,
Mrs.. 8aiicy's two daughters and, Mr..
Bailey, Of ciarkshurg. his son. have an
rived at their fathers bedside.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13
BIG REVIVAL AT JoHNsrowN.


a very successful protracted meeting !,
IN progress in the Methodist Profession,
church ut Johnstown, with Rev. C. L.
ssseer in charge and doing the preaching.
The revival has been going ON for eight
or nine days, and there has already been
fifteen conversions The interest is grow
ing aEi quite number of conversions Is
yet expected.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13
For a ead cod.

Z If you have bad cold. you noel ),
reliable medicine like Cim-aberIa:n'S
.es.ngs-Remedy 70 loosen and rel:evc il.
and to ailay the irritation ard ;afiar,.
nation of the throat and lungs. For
sale by Stone & Mercer. druggists.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13

Mrs. james N. Fittro i. in the CITY
from W'ilsonburg shopping.
Samuel Lewis, the Johustown Iner.
chant, is in the city on court business.
Mrs. Harrison Carter and son are here
from Davisson run today. II.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1903-11-13

For ssek headache try Chamberlain.
Stomach and Liver Tablets; they viii
ward on the attack 81 taken In time.
70. sale byestOns q Mercer. druggists.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-10-04
LAWYER IN A THEATRE ROW.
Hit IN Usher who wanted the Lawyers
Mother to Take or Her Hat.


Walter D. Birdsall, lawyer. living at 400
Park avenue, went with his mother to the
Criterion Theatre on Friday night. Mrs.
Birdsall didn't remove her hat and William
Wolf Of SO West Hath street, one of the
men behind her, asked Birdsall to have the
lady remove the obstruction.
Birdsall replied that the hat was fastened
in such a manner that it could not readily
be removed.
In the second act Harold Gibbs Of 2lA
West Thirty seventh street, an usher, went
to Mrs Birdsall with the same request and
got the same answer. As to what happened
then the stories differ.
Gibbs says that he said to Mrs. Birdsall
that ladies always removed their hats In the
theatre. and that ,Birdsall promptly struck
him in the back. After the act Manager
Birdsall in tn rear Of the balcony and
tried to straighten out the trouble. Bird
sail called Gibbs little shrimp and other
names, and Policeman Buckley, who is as
signed to the theatre. arrested him.
Birdsall told this story:
My mothers hat and hair had been dis
arranged by the Storm he said, and she
that to Mr.. Wolf. Then Gibbs came to her
and told her to take OF her hat. We gave
him the same explanation and he said:
Ladies remove their hats in this
theatre accenting ladies.
DO you mean to insinuate that my
mother Is not LADY, asked. and when he
said that he did I struck him a couple Of
times in the back He insulted my mother
and wouldn't apologize
Il didn't say that his mother was no
lady" said Gibbs, but Birdsall called his
mother to the stand. Her story agreed
with that told by her son.
4 think that will dismiss the COM
plant" said the Magistrate. The prisoner
is discharged" he.
As Birdsall and his mother left court the
lawyer declared that he'd sue some one
for damages
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-10-04

Fraud Order Against the National Railroad
School OF st. Louis.

WASHINGTON, Oct. 3.-Poetmaster-Gen
eral Payne to-day issued an order denying
the use Of the mails to the National Rail-
road School Of st. Louis, H. l.. Mebegar,
manager, for operating scheme to defraud,
Mebegar advertised in newspapers through
out the country for railroad engineers
firemen. brakemen and conductors, mo
experience required, positions secured, free
transportation to place Of business"
To those who remitted the necessary s.
for complete two weeks couls S, at the
National Railroad School, Mebegar sent a
pamphlet Of fifteen pages and circular
saying that II the pros pective railroad
man applied himself diligently, he could
become proficient in the two weeks men
toned.
An investigation by the Post Office De-
partment disclosed the fact that the presi-
dent. secretary, business manager, CORE
spoi de zee division, circulation division
thirty expert teachers and twenty-seven
ASSISTANTS were all embodied in the person
of Mebegar. 1t is not known just how much
Mebeear took in during the time the scheme
was operated, but e is now considered
wealthy, while a few months ago he WAS
door,
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-10-04
WOMEN DIDN'T SEE WHIPPING.
But They Saw q Man Put in the Pfllory In
Delaware.

WILMINGTON. Del, Oct. 3,-Four prison.
ers received corporal punishment at the
New Castle county workhouse at Greenbank
this morning in the presence Of about 100
men. The recent order Of Warden A
Meserve, prohibiting women and children
from entering the enclosure, was enforced.
Thomas Murphy, convicted Of breaking
into cellar Of saloon, was put in the pillory
and remained there for an hour, Part
of that time the gate TO the enclosure WAS
open and several women and children
peered IN, but ~ soon as Murphy was taken
out OF the stocks the gate was shut and
only men were permitted inside OF the
yard
The whippings were completed in about
ten minutes The lash was applied lightly,
as rule. but the backs Of several Of tho
men were marked The following were
whipped Thomas Murphy, who had cen
in the pllory. received twenty lashes, and
will serve three years; Frank Weldin and
William, alias Bunnie, Harris, convicted
Of larceny, each received fifteen lashes. and
George Armstrong convicted Of larceny,
received ten lashes, and is to be imprisoned
one year.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-10-04
FUNERAL OF VAN WORMER BOYS.
Nearly 1000 Persons ~ the Cemetery
Flowers ON the Coflns.

HUDSON, N. Y, Oct. 3-Nearly thous-
and persons followed the bodies OF the
three Van Wormer boys to the little ceme-
terry at Undertook to-day, and 81 God
curiously around the three graves while
the white pine boxes in which they were
brought from Dannemora last night were
inferred. In the crowd there were only
two relatives Of the boys, their stepmother,
Mrs. Estelle Van Wormer. and her cousin,
Mrs, Ella Van Slyok. Mrs. Van Wormer
sobbed bitterly as the bodies were lowered
into the graves, and had to be carried out
Of the cemetery by the undertaken and his
assistants.
There was not nearly the interest in the
burial Of the boys as had been expected.
Undertook knew but little Of them, their
early operations having been confined to
Greendale and the surrounding country.
After they came to Undertook they con-
tinued to raid the country where they
lived before their uncle Peter Hallente TX
turned them out OF their home.
There they were we'll known, feared and
hateu ny everybody, and had the funeral
oec lrred il. that village there would haveu =
doubtedly been a scene. But the good pee
pie Of Greendale agreed among themselves
not to come to Undertook to see the boys
Hurled and that is why il was only strangers
who followed the collins to the grave.
There were no religious ceremonies at
either the house or graves. A mass was
said for the boys in the Catholic church at
Valatie. four miles away, and that was all.
At 9 O'Clock three hearses appeared before
the Van Wormer house, arr u;d which
several hundred curious people had gath
cred. The collins were then brought out.
a wreath OF hydrangeas on each, placed In
the hearses and driven 10 the cemetery,
about a quarter of a mile away, The
flowers were the gifts Of the girls of Kinder
hook. The cemetery in which the boys
were buried is Protet ant cemetery.
just across the road is the plot in which the
body OF Martin Van Buren, rests.
Mrs. Van Worrner. after the funeral,
declined to see anybody, but through .
friend she once more sent out denial Of
the letters which have appeared In print
lately as the farewells Of the boys to her.
She has never received any such letters.