New-York tribune., 1903-07-16
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


THE Galveston News is authority for a good
story about General Nfless recent visit to that city
While inspecting Fort San Jacinto of the
who have the ammunition magazine in charge was
standing at the door OF the place with two little
strips of something that looked like macaroni they
being about the size and length OF that Italian deli
cacy.
Whats that?" said General Miles.
Don't you know. general. what that s?" said
the government official.
Don't believe I do said the general, examining
a piece of the stuff.
That's the powder We use in that rife there"
! as he pointed to of the giant 10-inch guns
fronting out the emplacement
Nobody laughed heartily the general himself
the ridiculous idea of the head of the United
States Army not knowing what powder when
he saw it,
One of the officers then said That stuff is put
up in those boxes you in that corner there
When the storm hit this fort and scattered our
guns and ammunition all South Texas it be-
came necessary for to send out officer to
locate and recover much OF it possible
"One day while in the discharge of his duty he
came upon old farmer up the bay somewhere
who had been picking up what he could find over
in his section of the State The officer found sew
eral of these boxes stacked away in the old mans
larder, and he, in the name of Uncle Sam, pro-
| ceeded seize the combustible.
"The officer procured a wagon. and as he was
leaving the old mans place with his capture loaded
on the wagon the old man with some degree Of
satisfaction sang out;
Take your old macaroni. It's good nohow.
Mary boiled some whole day. and it tasted like
mule -
all the way from last inform the read
so loudly in P the streets Of ST. Paul Mnn that two
attached carriage took fright and ran away
-(London Punch
Upon the bridge that arched his nose
A tingng Utilization rose
That reused him to the highest pitch.
In vain he twisted up his lip:
In vain his nose writhed at the tip;
And all his dignity to shrink.
A wave of red suffused his brow
As As through his nerves nerves began ai11 TO plough
The warning which ones system fills
One last attempt to stay its strength
But nature IRE pGsf R1dG give y at length
That sneeze must come, as sure as death.
'Atchoo! Kachoo, Wow! Akkachoor'
The trumpet message simply flew.
He sneezed The sneeze heard round the world
CW. D. N. in Chicago Tribune"
Some Philadelphans visited Richmond, Va. and
asking as to the of this and that large build
ing told in every that 1t tobacco
factory An aged negro gave them the informa-
! ton, and they. firing of the monotony of the re-
ply pointed to a white frame building a hill.
and asked whose tobacco factory that was. ac-
cording TO THE Detroit News-Tribune." The old
fellow replied
Dat sab. am factry. Dat SIN Johns
'Piscopal Church. where Marse Patrick Henry done
get up an AK de Lawd to glib him liberty or glib
him deaf
We'll Uncle" asked one of the trio. (which did
the Lord give him.
"'Pears to me yo' must be strangers hereabouts."
he answered: "else yo'd all know dat in due time
de Iawd gabe Marse Henry bofe'
| she-Gertrude says she will never marry until
sne np4S lbs ne her ldsaL t ,s,o
she-Oh. any man who will ask her.-London Tit
Bits.
| A Swedish missionary who was endeavoring to
gain a foothold in Abyssinia was brought before
King Menelek who asked him why he had left his
home in Scandinavia in order TO 10 Abyssinia
The missionary replied that he had come 10 con-
vert the Abyssnian Jews Are there no Jews in
your country" asked Meneek. The missionary
admitted that there were few. And in all the
countries that you have passed through did YOU
find no Jews or heathens?" the King continued
Jews and heathens. the missionary admitted were
plentiful Then" said Menelek TO his guards
carry this man beyond the frontier and let him
return until he has converted all the Jews and
heather who lie between his country and mine"
Madge-He tried TO kiss me, although we are not
engaged -
the habit OF calling on you--(Judge.
4 correspondent tells THE London News. that
being at Failing. in Norfolk he asked permission
of local marsh owner walk over his meadows
What for?' he wanted TO know. oh TO do a
little botanzing' the reply. There was a
pause while the landowner scratched his head
Then. slowly and suspiciously. Not with gun?'
Toni asked old Goldman for his daughter last
bick-what luck?
Tonl-Well. Il what YOU might call a run oP
luck. got away.-(Philadelphia Press.