Adams County news. [volume] (Ritzville, Wash.) 1898-1906, 1903-10-28
How Old Is Ann?

Mary is "a years old. Mary is twice
as old as Ann was when Mary was as old
as Ann is now. How old is Ann?
Henceforth when your friends appear
looking like they had just merged from
six weeks siege bandying with Jonathan
Barleycorn don't let appearances deceive
you, nor can the inference be drawn
when a man with vituperative wife
appears with few handfuls Of hair miss
ing that he has been having further co
mestic trouble. Like the man with the
disheveled locks. swollen eyes and sleepy
countenance he may have been trying to
figure out whether or not Miss Ann is
still in the halcyon days of sentiment or
in her prosaic years in her relationship
with Father Time.
If the policeman should fail to respond
to your crys for help, or the grocery
boy does not arrive on time in the morn
ing or your house should catch on fire
and the department fail to answer, if the
dentist hasn't time to pull your tooth, Or
the bank officials are too busy to wait on
you should you wish to draw, don't lose
your patience. tits only such as have
found the right answer or given up in
despair that have time for worldly tribes.
The man with the strong nerve tonic is
the happy one in town.
Probably greater brain pressure has
been brought to bear upon this problem
at the office of Mayor Robins than at
any place in Ritzville. He had about
decided to call an extra session OF the
council to settle the matter but some of
them have taken the matter under ad-
visement until 10 O'Clock today. With
one exception they may bring in a maj
ority report to the effect that Ann is -
years old They will now have to act
permanently as How Old Is Ann Com
mittee.
County Clerk Geo. F. Christensen re-
ported that while he hadn't reached Il
mathematical solution it was his opinion
that Ann had recently eaten her 24th
birthday cake.
Attorney Rathbun is absorbed in the
matter and says that all he needs Is time
to get the answer.
Over at the Northern Pacific office L.
f. Paskill had his stenographer strike off
few carbon copies and everybody is
busy filing sheets Of paper with figures.
Preston, the freight man, is buried under
kilograms about freight orders, strayed
cars, etc.
o. II. Greene said he could work it in
a minute but he had a headache and
would rather be excused.
L. Baumann of the Ritzville FIGURING
mills, made short work of the problem
He read it through carefully gave con-
temptuous smile and seized his pencil.
w. r. Peters remarked that he guess
ed he did not want to know AIMS age
anyhow, because it wouldn't be polite to
ask her.
d. w. Pettijohn, secretary of the cham
Der of commerce, said he would send it
east in the next consignment of adver,is-
ing literature.
]. J. Joyce read the problem: How old
is Ann?-Mary's twice as old as Ann
when Mary, Ann is, was-oh, VIII, in
blankety blank ever invented this thing,
anyhow"
F Up at the schools everybody is racing
to arrive at AIMS station Of life. More
theoretical bridges are being constructed
across mathematical chasms than it
would take to bridge the Pacific.
! A freckle faced. tow headed school
boy from the country came in and said
he thought Ann ought to be IS. Mary
being "a now six years ago she would
have been iS and Ann six years younger
making her IL which is just one half of
Marys present age. If this is right Ann
is about the right age.
Two men were found yesterday who
had agreed on an answer and they voci
ferated that they would whip any one of
any avoirdupois who dared disagree.
They occupy padded cells at the court
house under the personal supervision of