Evening journal., 1903-09-07
HER ON ANC E

brings unshed tears to my eyes when
chance upon It some lonely evening.
A romance with no beginning and no
end. Fate brought us together and /
loved her. Fate gave her a great sor-
row to bear, aud ! loved her more and
more. Then fate, or madness, parted
us. / never knew II she loved me then.
read Ia her words. her letters and In
her eyes at parting that she dreamed
Of love, but she was young and lonely
perhaps she only felt my sympathy
and grew happy under kindness.
] did not realize az first how impos-
sible my hope was. My youthful dab
bling in literature assumed n new i'm
portance. was 10 lay fame at her
feet in place of the wealth did not
possess. My writings were character
tied by new energy. The Leader ac-
cepted them. She read them and said:
II liked your last sketch. l liked your
verses In Saturdays paper" IL almost
seemed TO me that fame had come.
aimed higher. The editor OF a monthly
magazine published a poem-for It was
a poem. being inspired by love of her
and sent with the check kindly en-
couraging letter. This wns the sgln-
ming OF my romance, but there " o
end.
She was wealthy, while l must h l.
tate between two scarfs and choose ie
cheaper one. must write sometimes
what knew would sell readily. though
knew as truly that the writing was
not good. l was going through the uni.
versity with the minimum assistance
from home, and literature in manu-
script does not pass current for board.
The struggle was unpleasant. but not
hopeless. And what a goal 10 strive
toward Oh, Janet. I hope you may
never know how one man loved youl
Then her uncle came How clearly
he showed me what was not adyisa-
bic" and "how the world looks at these
matters. Janet is young. and she was
lonely when she knew you first Alas.
l realized that he was right "Jaaet
does not vet love you. VIII you be
cruel enough 70 make her love you II
you canT made no promise, but
could not forget "cruel 10 Janet" And
yet my love was cruelty. Fame is so
far away from man, hunger and storm
so near. ] used TO think that II / had
won Janet, though were coward
enough TO take wealth as a gift from
her, could have made her happy. No
one who shall come after can love her
more tenderly than ] have. But that
mad thought has passed.
Our meetings became more formal
The last time / called the piazza was
crowded with her uncle's friends. We
talked behind the vines where we had
sometimes fingered until we were scold-
ed like two children. There were the
same lvies. the same stars twinkllng
through the leaves. but Janet and /
were changed. have forgotten II she
gave me her hand in greeting. We
talked commonplaces and parted like
! mere acquaintances.
I So the romance euded-wlth no end
Would that we had quarreled. II hac
made her Jealous and she had sent me
away in her anger IL would be well
But l loved her too sincerely for that
II ] had found her false how easily j
could hate her But the romance has
no end. Summers and winters have
passed, not many. but long. / have
spent several vacations In her city. but
have never seen her. A friend Of hers
is one Of my classmates. We often
meet officially, but her name is never
mentioned
My ambition Is exhausted. My home
is distant. l have friends. but TO them
| am only clever failure. They can
not guess that even youth may have a
history.
When / met Janet l was not wealthy
Now I am worse. Mrs Osmond. who
provides the shingles above on which
the March rain is just now drumming
so musically and who clears up my
desk once a week by throwing valuable
papers in the wastebasket, has asked
me, Gould you let me have a little
money soonp Mrs. Osmond is tragic
ally polite, but she's businesslike. Mrs.
McKeon, whose plain but honest board
is supposed TO be paid for I'm advance,
has begun 70 place my little ''memOran-
dun of account" in obtrusive attitudes
by my plate and call attention to II by
a blockhouse OF glasses and butter dish.
The mail is unpleasantly full OF bust
ness communications these days. I
used to wait for the postman, hoping
Janet's letter viii come today.
There are only seven OF them, and a
memory. And still the romance has no
end. win graduate in June. My di-
ploma is forthcoming, though my heart
knows that for the last two years
have done little work worthy of any
reward.
/ shall graduate in June. And what
then? What should / become rich for.
If l could? There is the army. Once
hoped to be an officer But a private
does not starve. and a B. A. ought in
time to merit chevrOns This is worth
the effort. In the quiet and monotony
Of the life / might forget what is so
sweetly bitter TO remember. And II
war should come, the shut In energy OF
life would find an outlet.
But II / should walk in the city and
/ see her once more / think the madness
would win. How love and pride, or
love and reason, would war togetherl
But still the romance has no end, since
It had no beginning.