The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-02-18
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Dinah-Look hyar sam, we done bin
married 70 or five days now; doan' yo'
reckon yo' bettah go out an look 70
some Wuck2
find some wuck TO yo' time 'nough, but
I doan' want 20 ter t'ink oh washin' an
ironfn' till de honeymoon am past--Phll-
adelphia Press
He-Do you believe in long engage
mentsz
she-Not too long If We are married
in June it win be all Somerviile
Journal
When a mule stahts in TO be a kicker
said Uncle Eben, hes mighty j bic e
whah he hab de advantage Of human
folks Washington Star.
"Oh. dat I had de wisdom er Solomon
exclaimed the coiored brother.
-'Looky heah, man said Brother
mo dan one wife you'H git in de chain
gang2''-Auanta Constitution
De music er de little tin hon amt no
italian opery. but-bless God. we on'er-
stan's It betterl-Atlanta Constitution
There's no use O. taIkin'" said Mrs.
Cornt0ssel. this thing @ hein' a congress
man must mean some mighty hard work
.Jes' think OF it, A congressman packs
up an moves to Washington an he doesn't
vacation an he's got TO pack up an move
home again w ashingtoTA star
don't like steam heat in this yorl' Hit
takes a hot, open fire ter keep de sinner
in min er de Observation-Disclosures Consti-
tution-
There isn't any such thing as honest
legislation in this country complained the
oh. I don't know" replied the Iegisla-
tor 4 vas promised 500 = l helped 70
all that was promised me-'-Philadelphia
Press
Yes, gentlemen" said the professor in
philosophy. gravely, you should be con-
tent with what you have
Il am said the preeoelous Tres Imam
asIt Is what I haven't got that n disSat-
isiied about Columbia Jester.
Moonev-Braes up. mani Troth. yez lux
as If yez didn't how a fr'nd in tn whole
Hrur-rld.
Mooney-K' wan! If it amt money yea
want b0rry- Ofm as good a fr'nd as iver
yez had--Brooklyn Life.
JOHNNY wish my folks would agree
upon one thing, and not keep me all the
To Tommy n : What have they been doing
Johnny-Mother won't let me stand on
my head. and dad is all the time fussiug
because I wear my shoes out so fast
Boston Transcript
Remember said the woman who tries
to make people happy, that somewhere
the sun is shining.
''0f course it is answered her hus-
I band And somewhere there are tons
upon tons OF coal. The thing IS to get all
I this genial warmth right here where it is
needed. f-Philadelphia Press.
scribhler-Could you use a few good
Fdifor-Yes. if they'e long enough. That
/ hole in my window lets in awful lot Of
cold
Mrs Odd-Mary, where is the whisas
Nary-Why. mem. we were all out Of
( breakfast food and had to chop it up
I for Mr.. Odds breakfast
DO you know. Horatio that every boy
/ hes a chance ter be de president Of de
Horatio (thoughtfullyl- IN sell
my chance for ten cents.
Haven't you and that neigIhborins
I Farmer Akers-No, but our lawyers have
/ settled
Farmer Akers-On our farms.
Father Ompressively}- Suppose I should
7 be taken away suddenly, what would be
{ IrreFerent son-Td stay here. The ques-
Bits.
How is Ann Matilda making out as
+ postmistress at Elm Crossroads
Getting along fine Today she read 2
postaIs. held nine letters up to the light
and opened four newspapers ''-Chieagc
News
Don't you wish you had an automo-
/ Oh 7 dunno answered Ms E1rastus
/ FlnilsT- a mule doesn't cost near 50 much