New-York tribune., 1903-06-21
Comedies of q Consulate.
How Mrs Eliza Thompson Refused
America and Why French Lew Is No Excuse


While an American Consurs life is filed with
the seriousness OF important business. there are
little sdelights Of comedy that intervene, and
break the monotony. One Of them struck
me forcibly the first day j took charge of
the consulate at Rouen- The vice-consul
who was attending TO the business Of the
ofice until my arrival. / found to be a
most excellent fellow. He greeted me cordially
and provided me with comfortable seat and
the morning paper But cherish as / would
beneacent intentions toward the paper. / could
not quite become interested in il, because of the
animated conversation Of two women who SEEM
ingly were in much distress They claimed to
be Americans and had called at the consulate
for help. According TO their story, they had
taken the train at Paris for Mants, but for
some unaccountable reason, had failed to oe-
scend there. Upon arriving at Rouen they were
made TO pay the extra fare This took all the
money they had except one-franc piece, which
he elder OF the two held so conspicuously dis
nlaved during the recital of their grievances
that il grew mutely dfdactic upon the truth OF
the Biblical comparison Of giving and receiving
Finally. at the end of a long explanation thls
elder one looking appealingly at the Vlce-coh-
s,l finished UP with, and we just thought II
yoC could provide US with - francs until we got
hack 10 Paris We could return it TO you I'M
rlediately we got there
was not too much interested in the morning
news 10 notice that, as far as the vlce-consui
was concerned. the conversation had reached
roint doubtful as TO propriety, but embarrass-
inzly certain as to meaning. In a few moments
-, ,-;si.ors were accommodated and went their
way.
The last time had occasion 10 ask the VICE
co-7sul he told me he had heard Of no offspring
70 his fatherly act OF kindness. but ADDED tlat
ne Measure Of learning was one Of the greatest
Measures IN the world. and that probably we
we're born ignorant in order 20 evolve happl-
ness
Many seem to think that the consular service
* an immense bureau established by the United
States Government whereby all americans WHO
imagine themselves rl.s-rcated can obtain re-
dress Of grievances.
r,ne morning last winter a tall, thin woman
,-ar7e into the Office with a rush somewhat lihe
= high speed automobile. Upon reaching me
desk she put on breaks, and eXcitedly exclaimed
that she had been swindled out Of $40 II was
easy 10 see from the reckless hlerosly1'iil0s %
h.- umbrella that she expected the American
navy to be telephoned for al once
she had rented a little apartment for s1Z q
o-+b T-non advice Of the landlord gas fixtures
-,sra m. in. for which she paid SIC with the
,,,ze-s4andiug that the landlord would TelIh-
4,,-se her 10 the extent Of $40 when she le11 AT
+be end Of the first month she found sne must
ro axav According TO the custom IN Frahce
=. --or-ietor claimed q months notice, or pay
far same. and refused to buy the gas nN'ures
because she stopped only month
- .a,, a an uugentlenlanly trick, sir she
ct rented his little rooms for ST.. ana
- - &c be tries 20 make me pay $40. What
.-- n know is cant the United States Gov
s-rr.eut bring the man to his senses Is II not
vo- duty as consul, sir. 10 see that an -A1llSIlc8
oi+t-an is not swindled right here under your
-csa7 Why. where sir, has justice hoNn TO-
end suddenly turning around she STOOD Iacins
: big map Of the world on the opposite vail as
if looking for the exact geographical location OF
1he goddess. 49,
..you see nv friend tried to explain ac-
,o-5inc "a French law. you and your proprietor
re an an equal footing. If he wanted you 10
leave he could not compel you TO 90 so "lliioUt
telling YOU month beforehand, and
.-ze gb11t its me that wants to leave" she I'M
-,.-iar+Ezy exclaimed wheeling around at Iiie
scornfully. :,
SO I understand. madam. but every one IL
F-anoe before giving UP q lease must give iio-
rice If you rent by the month you rlos' siVe
? months notice; if you rent by the tIiee
r7on+hs z three months notice, and so on
.,vor mean I've got to stay another month
-4...,.- want to or not?" she asked, con-
continuously and angrily-
No madam. but the law can cornpei you 10
~ <o- another month whether you stay OF
not -,
And not get cent for those gas fixtures?
she sbrieked. still more contemptuously ana
.eTes 1,n1ess YOU can take them with you." /
answered.
~. ,ss. IF starting back to America with SIG
,,-o-,b of gas pipes in her trunk was too much
for her TIE climax had come AS she Ieaile0
her eaunt form over the desk IelI ABOUT 'ii0
size Of some one looked at through the wrong
end If telescope She slowly unwound a long
yorefnger until its extremity rested almost upon
the tin of NV nose. Sighting along this pecuiial
rife barrel she held forth somewhat after tne
following:
You. a consul. sent here to represent ue
United States Government, and won't hrt
feathers weight to defend a poor heIpleSS
wonan-a woman Of your own counuS-wh0
comes to you seeking protection! You take SUES
with these people. but I'll show you' II you 90