The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-08-31

The sons Of sunny Italy smile merriiy'
these days
As they display their stocks IN trade De
The tTopie hurricane explains the JOY on
faces brown
Banana prices went up as banana treeS
Sir Thomas Upton is about due to
take up amateur photography, having
found that yacht racing '1oes not burn
W his money fast enough
An occasional bath is also said TO
assist materially in stamping out con-
tagion.
If vesuvius would erupt again and
bury d lot OF towns. the act would
be appreciated by the archaeoiOglslS
and historical romancers Of $500 ~ D.
Even had there been a tunnel under
Prince Ferdinand's palace, il would
have been reasonable to suppose Ferd
dug it as means Of egress when the
army dropped in on him early some
morning.
The soldiers who escaped from the
Fort Douglas guard house. it appears
fled out through the window.
Professor Moses, in his talk on edu-
cational conditions i'm the Philippines.
argued that ii would be better 10 pound
knowledge into the Filipinos than 10
leave them in Ignorance. No doubt as
we whipped them we would tell them
it hurt us more than it did them.
The president has determined to
stand by the reform editors Of China
1t is a safe bet that he is not taking
this attitude on the advice of Governor
Pennypacker Of Pennsylvania.
The bar association of which you
have heard so much during the pas
few days is an organization Of lawyers.
not Of liquor dealers, as is made clear
by their opposition to trusts.
A Grain of Comfort.
We understand, Sir Thomas, you've given
Convinced that Yankee saiIboats are too
But yet. Sir Thomas. you should not too
much disheartened be,
Twill save you much expense and tea
r-o-u-b-l-e.
Well, the Beirut incident has served
to put US on to another funny name
Magelssen.
Although he has given up the fight
to send boats TO America-loaded with
Gable operators also appear to have
the power of life and death, as witness
the case of Vice Consul Magelssen.
Why wouldn't it be a good idea for
Sir Thomas to bring over a tea box 10
race for the cup next time? He
couldn't do worse than lose. 1t would
be a better ad. for his goods than the
Shamrocks have been and would cost
less.
If young Pulitzer is convicted OF kill
ing a mountain sheep out of season in
Montana he may regard it as a case
Of great price for a little wool.
Mr.. Pulitzer may be able to prove an
alibi Old-timers viii COncede that
when a tenderfoot kills a mountain
sheep something in the nature Of a
miracle has taken place.
Los Angeles and Salt Lake have an
other tie to bind them together. The
street car hOld-Ups have moved to the
California city.
If Patti would use a little chloroform
upon retiring she would no doubt en-
JOY uuulSlUfDeQ SluuDer, ana that 81
a much less cost than hiring the floor
above her and leaving the rooms IN
occupied
16-year-old girl in New York re-
fused to tell her mother where she in
tended to go the other evening and her
mother put the young lady's best dress
in the stove. BY way Of revenge the
girl swallowed a dose Of carbolic acid
in a glass Of soda water. She viii re-
cover. SO there is no moral for other
Willful girls in the incident.
A young Austrian named Theodore
Roosevelt has applied for enlistment in
the navy. He is not related to the
president and says he does not under
stand the awful significance Of race
suicide.
It may be hard to teach an old dog
new tricks. but some Of his old tricks
may be quite entertaining.
Failed to Jump.
George Hanley, the center fielder of
the Salt Lake baseball club, tells of an
incident Of his earlier baseball career
something like this: "Ut wuz in To-
rOnfO civriu nv nfobt WOO 80