The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-11-16
SHE'S ALL MINE.
WE ARE MARRIED AND Oh, so
II Ppy

! , /. |.
The unfeeling world as represented by
the passengers in the car enjoyed these
occasions deeply and the. porter swept up
about a barrel Of rice. In fact the dining
car had rice pudding on the list during
the whole trip.
Say, isn't it about time to come off the
roost? On these solemn occasions of life
man desires privacy to consider the
serious step he is taking and to become
acquainted with the Loved Object.
Why should we furnish him with Of
fensive publicity and contumely?
Columbia is experiencing that sense Of
hot rebellion that the farmers child has
when father bears down hard on the
grindstone.
There's certain brand of joke that
your wife does not enjoy Such for in
stance as the one worked out with In
finite pains by the Yonkers Statesman
humorist. This joke was about a man who
all his life had been thinking UP his last
Words but when he came to die, his wife
talked so much that he couldn't get them
off and so went into the other world last
wordless. We are thankful we did not
spring this It was unkind.
Governor Pease says that the boys Of
Anoka should have big long credit mark.
They didn't do a single mean thing on
Halloween night. Halloween destruction
is a good deal of a chestnut and if new
crops of boys were not continually spring
ing up, its meanness would die out. The
trouble with Halloween is the Unframed
kid. hand in glove with crime and reek
ing with villainy. -
| literary man who tries to live COM
fortahly at the present prices of groceries,
oil, COAL ETC., is likely to suffer from
writer's cramp of the pocketbook.
Without being a prophet or seventh
| son or daughter We predict that Colombia
! is putting herself in position to be
pounded to a pulp.
| J. P. Morgan threatens to retire. He
| must have read some Of the paragraphs on
steel and just felt as If he would sink.
Have We been too harsh. b. go
! Mary MacIane is said to be out hunt
| ing for "local color for a novel. Moth
| ing is SO tiresome as d novel chock full
! of local color, local color just shoveled
! into it by the barrel full, crammed in
a mattress is stuffed with straw. crowded
down and running over. The best kind Of
a novel tells the story and lets the local
color take care of itself.
/ That sect known as the Holy Jumpers
cannot have q very high sense of humor
| if they named themselves. The name
would indicate a, row of active and agrees
sive thumb tacks in every pew.
! The Morton. Mimi, Enterprise Growl-
| er's column finds the air in that town full
of runors Of scandal, of 'horsewhippings"
ETC. The Growler says:
| Every community has two three old bis
tera W IN hpad0uarfprs for scandal They
| manufacture it out of compressed nothing and
wholesale it to consumers in carload lots, free
| Of charge You don't have to go after
| it. it will be sent to you.s
! The Growler deeply regrets these condi-
! lions and refuses to print the stories. He
adds impressively:
! Kind reader, did you ever think how much
easier it is to manage else's affairs than
| it is your own, and your neighbors' private af-
| fairs are so much more interesting, too. We
| have met up with a great deal Of this kind of
business in the different towns, and nothing
hurts town community as does this sense
less useless pulling to pieces of each other, and
| yor seem to all do it and no one escapes.
! But, my goodness, what is there left to
talk about if these subjects are inter-
/ dicted?
| Teach me another's faults to scan,
To hide the good l see,
And put upon another's back
The blame that's due to me.
! Second Report of an shes-Burner-In
a IOrlneT IredLlSe on the subject OIL Durrl-
ing ashes in a coal furnace. you may re-
member that we agreed to announce any
| limitations or difficulties that might show
up in the course of the experiment.
! AS the weather turned colder, it became
necessary to run the furnace in 24-hour.
instead Of in 36-hour stunts And at
| the close OF the 24-hour run. also, the
! house became too cold for comfort. 1t is
clear that as the cold deepens the time
must be shortened, perhaps to nothing.
After weeks run using the ashes
freely two difficulties have made them
selves manifest. First, the blanket Of
ashes over the fire tends to throw the
/ heat down. The ashboX and crate become
very hot Some fears are felt that the
! crate may be burned out. Second, the
continual returning Of the ashes re-
duces them to a very fine pow
/ der, finer than flour. When the furnace is
shaken, this fine dust Sits out and gets
into the house. It will probably be neces-
sary at the end of each week or fortnight
i to sift out this ashes-dust. And here We
are sitting ashes again, which was one
i thing we We're trying to avoid.
la .lady teacher" who has to do with a
furnace in addition to her career as a
molder of our youth. She says ashes won t
burn. She tried them. She filled the
i furnace up with ashes and touched a.
4 match to them. They failed to go off
i Wouldn't that make you stagger with sur
/ prise, after all we have said.
i "A. J.. r.