Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-12-14

,Sne-l uey say she Is lalTIy Throwing
herself at his head. He-I suppose
she's heard he's a good catch!-Smart
Set.
Mike-They say Tim Cassidy dice
without tn aid av docthor. Pat
Well, Tim was always handy lad a
nything.-Judge.
Not Her Weapon: "Is your wife {
club woman, MikeY" Marry the like.
O. that, sor; she uses fatiron, sor.
Detroit Free Press.
"What possessed her to marry him
wonder?" "Well, you know how
hard it is to get good caddies nova
days."-Brooklyn Life.
I'm afraid she isn't cut out for q
society woman" "Why not?' "Well
| she seems to have no idea of the pleas
ures of ce."-Detroit Free
Press.
Just as Good: Sporting Editor-Oul
best football reporter is sick and cam
60 to the game. Managing Editor
Never mind; We'll send the war CORE
spondent.-Judge.
But" protested the man, Il have
admitted that l was wrong. Isn't tina
enough?" NO." replied the woman
you must also admit that was
right. Daily News.
A Slight Difference: Nora-Oi towl(
thot installment mon thot he MAIDEN
call so often. Mstress-Did he take
the hint? Nora-No, mum; he took til
pionny .-Philadelphia Record.
Departing Traveler-How much fol
lunch? Landlady-Well, l am in the
habit of charging eighteen pence. Tray
eller-Well, it's Il bad habit; here's {
shilling. Good-day.-Tit-Bits.
DR.. Jinks-I suppose you must have
lost some of your patients by being il
Europe for so many months. DR.. Ken
Yes, confound it, Ten or dozen OF
them got well.-Boston Transcript
Miss Rose-It is wonder you dom
take wife, Mr.. Sapp. Mr.. Sapp-
Well, you see, I only make enough tt
support one. Miss Roosevelt, it ism
necessary for you to take two wives.
She-They haven't found name fol
that baby in the fiat upstairs yet. HI
The one that cries so? Yes" "Well
I don't know why. The neighbors have
called it everything they could thinl
off,
! Ibid you tell Clarence you would
cut him off without a cent If he mar
ried that girlY" NO" answered the
wise father, 1.-THE idiot would marry
her in spite of that. told the girl.
Indianapolis Sun.
In Society: "They say Miss R /!
brilliant conversationalist." Indeed
she is. She told me the whole story Of
her life in five seconds" Talk IL
shorthand?" mo. Showed me hel
bank book. "-Baltimore World.
They tell me 81 Medder's son Bill
hez bin sent ter tn Legislature.
Nope; Bills in the penitentary fol
boss stealin'." Great snakes. Why
is it folks alters want ter make thing.
out wuss than they really is|-Judge
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures. We'll have
fried eggs for breakfast, and
Bridget-We can't, mum, there's no
an egg in the house. Mrs. Newliwed-
Well, then, just make an omelet.
like that better anywav.-Philadelp
Press.
Smith-How old is your son. Jones
Jones--He'll be II tomorrow. Smith
He's certainly a credit to you. Jones
We'll, he ought to be. l spent tif
teen years in bringing him up and siz
more in calling him down.-Chicagc
News.
Mamma-Oh. see, Willie, your LITTLE
brother can stand all alone. Aren't yOl
glad? Willie aged 6)-Sure! Now
can get him to hold an apple on hi.
head while shoot it off with my bow
and arrow, can't I?-Philadelphi,
Ledger.
The Rev. Olympia Brown tells u
that our good President Is all wrong
that nature Is going to look after tn
population and the general interests o
the next census, and that we reall,
need a sprinkling Of old maids to keel
us in "Aunts as Is aunts," who hav
no children Of their own to love an,
so spend their time and energy In Low
ing us. We believe Mrs. Brown !
right. We have always argued tina
it is we'll to let the Deity run his owl
universe.