The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1903-02-06

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Barber-Hair's gettln' a bit thin on
.0p, sir. Have you tried our hair re.
'torer Customer Qacetiously)-Oh no.
is not that. It's worry.-Pick-me,up
Wigg-As a painter do you think he
will be able to make a name for him.
self? Wagg-He ought to-. You see,
he's sign Observation-Disclosures Rec.
ord. s..-.*.-
Landlord-1 will give you just three
days to pay your rent. Artist-All
right; suppose you make it Thanksgiv-
ing, Christmas, and the Fourth Of July.
Life.
what is synonym" asked a
teacher. "Please, SIR" said a lad, Its
word you can use in place of anoth-
er If you don't know how to spell the
other One"'
INSTRUMENTATION do you account
for your love of music?- Drum Major
We'll, when me father was young he
was furniture mover, and wan day a
pianny fell on him.
"Shure, Dim no partisan, Jerry, OF
vote fer the best man." can how en-
yez tell which wus tn best man till
afther tn votes ARE counted, Din
ny"-Colorado Springs Gazette.
$50 you had a successful hunting
trip?' "Eminently successful. We
didn't bring back any game, but no.
body was shot by any Of the other
members of the party."-Washington
Star.
"Next scholar, spell recipient" said
the teacher. Little Elsie did so. "Now
then, what is a recipient" 'That's
what every bride is, cause the news
Press.
Biggs-I understand that you lost
money on that embarrassing expert
ment of yours. Boggs-Yes, did; but
I expect to get it all back again. I'm
writing book Oh how to raise chick
ens.-Judge.
Mae-I got even with Bessie for
snubbing me. Ethel-What did you
do? Mae-1 told that young man who
calls on her that she used to be the
best debater in her class at school,,
New York Sun.
Newftt-The man who can't take
little good advice has nobody to blame
for his trouble but himself Sharpe
OhI I don't know, he's usually bur-
deled with lot of friends who can't
Civ E it.-Philadelphia Press.
Blotman-So you have read the
VIII ole Of my new story? I'm sure, it's
awfully good Of you. Tyner-Not at
ALA did it on the advice of my doc
tor. 81 He: said I needed violent exer-
else, you know.-Boston Transcript.
BY the Yonkers Route.-"Yes, he
takes great interest in prison work.
He has been familiar with the inside
of so many Of them" Indeed! As a
eriminal?" mot exactly. As an auto
mobilist." -Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A rural exchange has the following
on perpetual Office seeker:
He's left this world of storm and strife;
In spite Of all advice
He ran for office all his life,
And only got there twice!
Atlanta Constitution.
He (bitterly)-You have no heart.
She-What nonsense. He-It's the
truth. You flirt outrageously with
every man you meet. She-Then I
must have very large heart to give
a little of it to so many.-Brooklyn
Eagle.
Greene-Miss Wilter has brought
suit against Bifkin for breach of prom
Use, naming her damages at $4,000.
Gray-Funny about women! If he had
married her, she would by this time,
perhaps, be telling him that he is abso-
lutely worthless.-Boston Transcript.
GLOW does it happen you ran so far
behind your ticket?" they asked him.
Il didn't" said the candidate who had
escaped defeat by the skin of his teeth.
'"rhat is an unfair inference. l got
the straight vote. The rest of the tick
ct simply ran ahead Of me-that's ALL"
Chicago Tribune.
did you say Hiram lost that hun
,dred dollars of his in railway deal?'
EYES," answered Mrs. Corntossel, II
didn't know he was a financier." "He
amt any. This deal was in a smokin'
car. They started playin' euchre and
then switched off on another game
Washington Star.
Briggs-1've got great idea. I'm
going to invent an open street car in
which ali the seats are end seats.
Griggs-Don't you do it. would be
a dead failure. It is the squeezed and
sweltering people in the middle who
make the end seats so delightful
Boston Transcript.
"But II you love me, Madeline, why
set the happy day two years away?"
The maiden bowed her head in blush
ing confession. because, Horace, it
will take me fully that long to use up
my monogram stationery" For you
can't get letter paper embossed unless