Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1903-01-01
QUILTS COMMENT.
Value Of the Discovery That Laziness
is Microbe.
The Injustice Done to Humanity by
the Old Theory.

cries. Of. the 10th century, If not the
most I'M poftant, and one that will APP
peal 10 the greatest number of people
is the recent discovery of DR.. Charles
Wardwell Stiles of Washington, zoolo
gist CT the L. S. Public Health and
Marine Hospital service, who is said
to have discovered the true germ of
laZiness Here is self sacrificing
man. who is d public benefactor, one
who has burned out the midnight oil
at Is cents a gallon, Standard Oil
measure to prove to the world that
tho ordinary all WOOL and yard wide
hobo is not lazy, not even born tired.
but only a poor feeble unfortunate
in the merciless grasp of a microbe.
Just stop for 4 moment and con-
slider how far reaching this new dis
covery is. Even Marconi with his
Wireless biography is but a school
boy upon the shores of time, while great
oceans of truth remain unrevealed be-
fore him, for he simply puts up
couple of poles with an empty tomato
can or two attached and yells Good
Morning" TO our ruby faced neighbor,
John Bull, across the herring pond, and
JOHD UluSttiiHSly ytIS DetIh 0oou
morning, have you used Blanks soap?'
But this new discovery gives to the
world a brand new idea, a bright
thought and discovery that will prove
a boom to the poor down-trodden man,
who has been trying for years to dodge
his wife's cold feet in the morning
when it is time to get up and build
the kitchen fire Not only this but
there are innumerable tribes in Asia
and Africa who are too lazy to even
scratch themselves. And then there is
the noble red man of our own country
who milks the government dry, and
thinks, because the good book says the
Lord will provide, that He runs a bake
house.
In fact, everybody will be more or
less benefited by this discovery. If
the doctors Investigations are cor
rect, and | personally have no doubt
that they are. laZiness is a physical
disease just as much as consumption,
and Il person is no more to blame for
it than lie is for any wei defined
disease. The germ that has been dis
covered through the microscope is
called the uncinaria americana. You
will notice that this bald headed par
isite claims this country as it's birth
place, being a lineal descendant of
some of the Oldest knickerbocker fam
lilies on this hemisphere. | am very
glad that this is So for America, al
though not grasping at all, wants ev-
cry thing there is and the branding
Of this microbe us an American will
stop all future controversy and not in
volVe US in an endless dispute as was
the case in the discovery of America.
In fact. we don't know to whom we
are indebted for all this taxable prop
erty. Columbus has the affidavit of
several good citizens, including the
hackman Who transported him from
the wharf to the boarding house that
he was the first arrival. while YES
pucius declares chat Christopher is q
horn blower of the most pronounced
type, that lie did not set his foot on
the continent until long after he (Nes-
pucius) had landed and made himself
solid with the street commissioner and
the city government But in this case
there can be no dispute, for America
mad discovered this microbe and has
filed her claim in the patent office in
Washington.
If this discovery is genuine one,
ii is easy TO see what injustice has
been done to certain people who have
been reprimanded and held up to rid
.fcule all their lives as being lazy. when
Ihey were just as much the victims of
disease us though they had been seized
by tuberculosis or leprosy and it only
r,., 1, 1~f
the Sons Of Rest to champion their
cause and place laziness in the class
where il belongs. Physicians have for
years treated this disease as malaria
when treating it at ALL for it has gen.
Grady been supposed to be merely the
indisposition for work, which attends
human worthlessness. This only goes
to show that physicians are but hu-
man and are liable to err like the rest
of mankind and if the professor is cor
rect inohis deductions it will afford a
lessonlin charity not to be overlooked
as well Vas to explain why laziness is
catchingt
But the unfortunate part of this new
discovery is that it is not fatal. Sta
tisticS SHOW that for the past 200 years
but two fatal cases have been re-
ported, one that of a promising young
man whopwas run over by the hearse,
who was too lazy to get out of me
way, tfF other a bright young man
who wa$a trifle inquisitive and looked
down theimuzzle of gun to see wnere
the bullet started and when it went off
: did not dodge in time. In fact it is
Il disease accompanied with SO little
discomfort that it may take some peo-
pie Il long time to get over it, a mat
ter of a Hundred years more or less.
I have known cases where Il deter
mined woman who knew just how high
up to grasp a broom, cured some
chronic cases in less than Is minutes.
with no relapse. But these cases are
very rare; work seems to aggravate
their disease While the soothing music
of the circus band seems to quiet and
sooth them and they drift along with
the tide too lazy to dodge the germs.
AguAA.M