New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-08-19
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

boy in Milwaukee was recently committed to
the House of Correction thirty days for stealing
a quantity of wood. When the commitment was
made out it was discovered that there was no con-
stable present So the lawyer said to the prisoner:
Johnny. you know where the House of Correction
is don't your" Yes, sir well, here's five cents
and this paper. You take car and go there and
give them this paper and they will let you in. VIII
you do it?" ''sure!" And John kept his word.
At the Mothers Congress.-"Do you know my
baby actually screamed yesterday when he saw
yes. They are likely to be shy of strangers"-
Qife
Congressman Lowering. of Massachusetts. says
that at one session when Reed Speaker an i'm
portant measure was being considered in commit
tee and it's friends were worrying for fear debate
the bill when it should emerge would be too long
drawn. So Lowering asked Reed to entertain mo-
ton that one should be allowed to speak on the
measure unless he had something new 10 say. Mr..
Lowering" drawled the Speaker "tyrannical as
am, thoroughly depraved and bad I am, have
not yet reached the point Of heartessness where
can condemn this House to silence as profound
as that resolution would entail"
1.-THE Best Laid Plans."-A story is being told
in London about a man prominent in public life
whose name may not be mentioned, which illus
trates the insecurity of human preparations. He
scale to be given to various friends in the neigh
borhood of his country seat Unfortunately his near
est neghbor, close relative. is highly uncongenia
TO himself and his intmates. and he racked his
the necessity of inviting the undesirable cousin to
Il have it, he announced to his wife at break
fast on the morning of the event TN send him
course He'll be deighted as he Seldom has an op-
p9Ftan Iy Of going TO the I6eatge and t,,o host
with an easy conscience, proceeded 10 enjoy the
of short duration At the height Of the festivities
in walked the Objectionable neighbor.
as he approached his cousin; 'as soon as heard
ABOUT your party knew that you must have sent
tickets i
changed for tomorrow evening and came right
over here as soon as I could."-(Harper's Weekly.
1.-THE Charleston News and Courier gives some
examples of "Guuah.' or negro dialect reported by
a lady of Fairfax Hamplin County:
Honey. I asst the lady ter send you some of her
pure white sweet religion (sweet aIyssum). but she
say that am too scarce to give away
mo, sar, can't wuk fer you dis year; am going
to supersede farm oh me own
Listening to the sweet strains issuing from the
choir voices Of the colored Methodist Church, we
stopped a moment to distinguish the words which
were Justify shouted in song:
Save the poor old strangng wretch
One of our chief planters sent off colored man
to his distant farm with mule, implements for
working and corn. A neighbor wrote him:
DE corn are out de mule am dead. de niger are
run away!'
Doctor please sar give me some bluemide ma
wife so on-restIess she can't sleep, an de brown
skeeters is attacked her tell she cough herself
away most"
There's a strange man at the door SIR" an
nounced the new servant from Boston.
What does he WANT asked the master of the
house, impatiently.
Begging your pardon. sir" replied the servant
a shade of disapproval manifest in his voice ''he
wants bath but what he is asking for is some
thing TO eat."-(Syracuse Herald.
The collections in the Aquarium are steadily gain
ing in variety and attractiveness As result popu-
lar interest in the occupants Of the tanks and the
pools and in every feature of the exhibits is con-
stantly becoming stronger. The splendid develop
ment Of our museums, our geological collections
and public institutions of many kinds will
year after year draw larger multitudes Of visitors
10 the metropolis and afford more generous oppor-
tunites TO our people and TO the hosts OF sojourn-
ers who come here from other places.
a local financial man is telling with great deal
of delight a streetcar conversation that he was
compelled TO listen 10 while coming down TO his
office the other morning As was his usual Gus
tom, he had started in 10 read his morning paper
when young woman entered the car and sat d.
reCtly in front OF him After the car had gone a
square further on another Young woman
she recognized an acquaintance, she went up and
sat alongside of her After few introductory
with the JOY that was theirs for having met the
conversation drlfted on in this fashion: "Oh, yes
Nellie is down with "Oh. YOU don't ss Y sou
she was taken witt" = The poor girl"' AS
was delicate" Yes. but I was going 10 saw
Give her my love and tell her hope she will soon
say = on; dld YOU start 70 say something? I
down with her aunt in Atlantic City. She was
taken with a desire TO get TO the seashore and
went Yesterday" And then both got of and made
for the bargain counter. The financial man gave a
SIGH OF relief and fell to reading his paper again