The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-03-12

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| Will. Jest give me that pO try ter mem
Der -Henery while she's oct in the cold
world lOolIin up 'nuther soft job like this
one. I'm glad you kicked. Sod I kick
if SIGH verse was fired at me on bag
o. sugar, Ell? Second barl from the Gel
lar door. an'-oh, good morn'n, Elder
Sly. How is the snow up yer way an
alp
Mr. Perkins, the conduct Of some poor
person in this establishment is repre-
hensible. to say the least, yes it is; ii is
positively reprehensible, sir. l, sir, was
shocked to find written upon the package
of dried prunes which l purchased last
evening this erotic effucion. If I must be
insulted, let it be in the open. If q
common dealer in provisions and hard
ware and fish must insult me, let him
come out in the open, sir. In the future
l shall send to Utica for the necessities
of life, sir"
Sorry To hear it, Elder. But what has
disturbed you now? Them prunes was
fresh''-
TOO fresh by far, too fresh, assure
you, sir. | found written upon the bag
something that gave my daughter Ara
bella nervous prostration and sent her to
bed She may go into a swift decline in
consequence, for which 1 shall hold you
strictly responsible. sir-strictly response
child found written on the bag of prunes:
Dear ArabeIla. who's the Teller
Meeting you at every noon?
1 think l know him, darling. blow him.
He is only a stuffed prune.
''Weil, Elder, that is putty tough po'try
-EOin', Poot? Yes. Elder, il was what
you can call a body blow. But. really
the poor boy can't help it. He's got the
Pc try disease so bad, you know; thinks
he's a Monkey trick, a Slampton, a
Schoolyard, a Slangs, a Skipling. an 1
don't know what all. Shall 1 Kill him
easy like or carve him up by inches?"
Caution him; caution him, Mr.. Perkins,
\ word 10 the young will bear fruit
But Abe PoOt didn't take no stock in
fruit Eth? Yes; the same bari jist as
you so in to the left. It's marked lamp
OIL but thur hain't no cherry bran
Suttinly; what goes here don't go no
furder. GOSH I feel like as if a blizzard
was blowin. BY dunn, it is blowin an
here she futters."
Mr.. Perkins, l allus thought you was
a man of sense and a Christian. but if
you countenance such outrageous things
as this l shall quit trading with you on
the spot
The speaker had snake ringlets dang
linS about her leathery colCred face, and
when she opened her mouth her upper
teeth came down with click. Perkins
sighed as he approached her and laid his
left hand upon his right breast and
waited.
Mr.. Perkins. some one in this store is
casting the sings and arrows of scorn
and scandal at meme, a member Of the
weak sex. l want to know from what
source the reptiles stab comes"
Goodness. Was you stabbed, Miss Slo-
cum"
Yes. and doeply-more deeply than I
can say. I have not had wink Of sleep
since the attack of this miserable verse.
written on the bag Of split peas I pur-
chased here last evening. I've been in
suited, and what I want is vengeance
vengeance at oncei You just listen TO
this. then say whether or not I am right
in my research. If this is not enough
to make a bachelor girl like me get mad,
then l do not know what right is:
Loveliest, divinist. sweetest Of thy sex,
You're slicker than two split peas over
done:
Sometimes they comes in bushels-we sells
EN- by the pecks;
oh, you're my pity, itty. bitty one.
Miss Slocum, you have cause for call
ing out the merlitiar ter read the riot
act an you have just reason fur doin
carson or regiSide or suenside or the hull
thing tergether ut onct. But consider.n
the subject I'm surprised EIenery 90 bet
ter varse than. III Kill him when he
gifts back. I hope you Will be- satisfied
when YOU look out Of yer winder and
see his cold mains soin' in the Nurse 20
the frosty cedars an the weepin' wiliers
IN the buryin' grounw. Cornhusk Stun
mick Bitters? Suttinly. suttinly. alters
keep q bottle back fur you. Miss Slocum.
y wine glass at a time. an tarn yer face
when you talk ter folks God mornin
III slaughter that young man when be
comes back. Dear me. but life is fun Of
truabIes. taxes. po'try an itch. Eenery.
my sacridcial lamb. hate u do Il, but
biz IS biz an frenship IS frenship.
All that morning poor Perkins was kept
busy shuntiug OF the outraged and in
suited populace Of Jayvii!c.
when Henery came home with a load ~
smoked sausages and hams Perkins .u-
vit-d him u his private room upstairs
and said IN q sad tone Of voice and
with tears in his eyes:
MY POOR boy You have been doomed
"a death half q dozen times this mor1lu'.
By rights / should smother you. give you
q dose ~ rat piZcn. strip yer a.-Gs N q q
era SOU in the cTic,s with g stun tied ter
re- mains q take you up an the ROOF
an drap you or Poet IS uaitil' wuth an
adj down rs the kivereS bridge ter si-uiD
won when you come fur tire mali. Elder
Sly Is slitia' by the cora CRIB with
c-rr loaded with b-cEscot. an Mss Sio-
cum viii be hanEin out Inc windsr ter
watch Yer clseaied Germ -uI1 in the
t-r~ze ter the frosty ce-zars an the weeyin
vrii.e~s Thar all zEi1 VOC. He1erT. an
IA rhe only r end yen No T1t q tr-F
calIIl- an Eou-poeSycaI world Eye
prep Stloa ser make Ter you Nls Tou
The rsd-hcaded poet Vas frieAte-ed or1t
90 f,rs rs sid b. Hea sorry ara I'm