The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-04-18
GOOD FOR THEIR COMPETITIONS.
DIR. Wiley's Chemically Prepared Food
Has UnlOOked-fOr Eject.
Washington Post.


Science is playing more pranks with DR..
Wiley. The use of borax. formaldehyde
and other meat preservatives on the class
of subjects of chemical research at the
Bureau of Chemistry. Agricultural De-
partment has produced results of the most
astounding character, and now everybody
connected with the bureau is anxious to
write a pamphlet about 1t.
Where DR.. Wiley looked for convincing
proof of the harmlessness of drugs on
American meats for export he has so far
looked in vain, and when about week
ago the compilations of his dozen or so
poison pill patients underwent remark
able change he, scientifically speaking,
threw up the sponge. The borax. acid and
what not mixed in their food have worked
a change in the complexion of the fourteen
TO the scientific mind, and the experts of
the. department are foundering around
badly In their efforts to fathom the mys-
terry.
The change in the complexion Of the
chemical scholars has not been of an alarm
ing character On the contrary, each of
the young men undergoing the heroic
course or treatment has blossomed out
with bright pink complexion that would
make a society belle sick with envy. AS a
result chemicals of all kinds at the bureau
nave jumped one hundred points above par.
The boarders no longer object to eating
any quantity of scientific mixtures. There
Is something in it for them now and they
beef eaters in Washington.
The change of DIR. Wiley's guests was
noted with much concern at first. 1t was
seen that the young men were turning a
delicate pink. The coloring effect on the
skin became more pronounced each day,
until now all of the boarders are as rudy
and rosy as babies.
DR.. Wiley began to look into the matter,
In order to determine what chemicals pro-
duced the change in the complexion. His
tests established the fact that the boys
were in excellent health-the pink shade
was no hectic flush, as might have proved
the case.
1t is said that the beneficial effects of
the personalities diet thus recorded form
really the first scientific proof which the
experiments have demonstrated of the en-
tire harmlessness of the drugs used in pre-
serving American meats.
Its this way" said one of the boarders
last night Some time ago We began no.
ticing that our compilations were getting
clearer. We didn't think anything about it
that all of us were pink-cheeked, we began
10 tumble that, 1t was the borax, or what
ever 1t is they're putting in our rations
now. We don't know exactly what that is,
but we think that they stopped the bOrax
course some time ago. Therefore. it must
be the other drug. maybe arsenic. that has
made our compilations like they are Say,
there was one fellow at the observation
table who had a complexion when he first
came to the bureau like one of the fifty
seven varieties. Now his own girl wouldn't
know him. He's got skin like the inside
of a strawberry. We call him Miss-but
can't tell you his name Anyhow, he doesn' t
like to be called Miss But, all the same,
since all the freckfes and bumps and things
have disappeared from his face he's a
mighty proud boarder. if he does eat chem
icals.
Some of the boarders are worse than
others-or better, L guess you'd say BUT
we've all got rosy cheeks. and no mistake.
Why we're getting so we're ashamed to go
on the streets. The girls turn around and
look at us. It's embarrassing.
is said. that he has in his possession a
beauty food of great value, and it is
confidently expected at the Bureau of
Chemistry that when the news spreads
about the discovery of the complexion
purifier that all the girls in the country
the bureau for information. 1t is decla red
by the scientists that the chemicals taken
by the boys have improved their COM
plexions as there has been no other cause
at work. The fact that all of the boys
have taken on the same cerise shade is an
indication, 1t is said, that the poison pills
did 1t.
Withal, the minds of the boarders are in
an unsettled state. Will the compilations
keep on changing and turn from pink to
red and from red TO -. But DR.. Wiley
and his assistants are not taking any hur-
dies before they come to them.
Huh, the borax hasn't made my COM
plexion pink" said Perry, the civi-service
cook. II don't think there's anything in
it,
"You don't eat the chemically prepared
and scientifically administered food" sug-
gested the reporter.
Say, that's so,' said Perry with a sus-
picion of a wink.