Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-31

Culture: Ruth--Mr. Jenkins has such
an air of culture. hasn't he? Tom
0ealous)-IIum-yes. experimentation
sas City Journal
Defined and Described: Teacher
What is a farm? Bright Little Girl
piece of land entirely covered by a
mortgage.--Detroit Free Press.
Teaching Him; Toni can read
your thoughts. Clara-I can hardly
believe it, for If you could you wouldn't
sit SO far Indianapolis Jour.
nal
Fully Covered; A woman on the
death of her husband telegraphed to a
distant friend: Dear Joseph is dead.
Loss fully covered by Insurance. Tit
Bits.
All Hers: "Ah, but. count" she
cried. do you love me for myself
alone?' Yes" he replied, You are
your fazaire's only child. Chicago
Tmes-Herald.
Little Wilhe--Say. pa, what's an ego
fist: PAN egotist, my son. is a man
who tells you those things about him
self which you intended to tell him
about Chicago News.
Instructor lin despair Wen. at least
you can tell me where the Magma
Nharta was signed? Student cheer.
fuliyl-Oh, yes! King John signed that
at the bottom Harvard Iampoon.
Sure enough: Little Elmer-Papa.
what is the hand of providence? Pro-
lessor Broadhead- hand of provi-
denee, my son, Is what we usually see
in the misfortunes of others. -Puck.
bridget, did You hear the benz
"feSSum" why don't you go to the
door, them Sure. mum. I'm not OK.
poctin' amy one. 1t must be some.
body to see YOU. Baltimore Herald
To Remove the Shells: Mrs. New
wed cat dinner Mandy, why do you
| serve nutcrackers with the turkey?
Mandy Well, yo' done tolc me TO stun
lie turkey VIII chestnuts. Detroit Free
| Press.
TOMMY think mamma Is an awful
gossip. Ethcl-Oh, Tommy. how can
You say such thing? Tommy Wei.
she Is; everything do she Immediate
" goes and tells papa. | hate gossip.
~Tit-Bits.
Il see Newlywed at the Country
Club quite often since his baby came.
thought he was firmly anchored TO
a home life" "IIe was, but nj the
first squat he began to drag his an.
Choir, Puck
| Optional: DO you have to ask your
wife for money!" faltered the little
man with the hunted look in his eyes.
'Not on your lifc.' replied the large,
brusque man; but rather than go
without sometimes do"'-Dctrolt
Journal.
a Hardship of Modern War: She
! The strain on the soldier in modern
warfare must be very great. He--It
Is Sometimes the photographer isn't
ready and You have 10 wait hours.
and then the pictures may prove fail.
urcs,-Judge
Early lessons In ORTHODOXY: Squire
90 rural lad Now my boy. tell me
how do you know an old partridge
from young one? Boy BY teeth sir.
! squire Nonsense. boy You ought To
know better, A partridge hasn't got
any teeth Boy-No. sir; but | have
| Punch
An enthusiastic sightseer in London
was telling her friend that she had
| RI
view of Lord Kitchener All" said
the friend, Il suppose he is very
bcllicose MANI" oh. no." was the
reply. quite slim assure you."-Chi-
cage News.
Mothcr-You naughty boyl You've
been fighting Little Son-No, mother.
Mother-lIow did your clothes get torn
and your face get scratched? Little
Son--I was trying to keep n bad boy
from hurting good little boy. Mother
That was noble Who was the good
little boy? Little Son Me -Pittsburg
Bulletin.
Answered 10y telephone: Parker
WHAT'S wrong You seem worried.
StrccterI am | wrote two notes
one to my broker asking him If he took
me for n fool, and the other to Miss
Goldlng asking her If she would be
mine. While | was out somebody
tcicphoned Yes and don't know
which Of 'em 1t was Chicago News.
Would You advise me to read The
Virginlan':" the fair young girl looked
up and asked him. Not yet" he
gragciy replied; always walt until a
book has been on the market for 81
fun year and n half before you read
It," A little later he murunurcd softly
to himself: by that time may bo
able to get her a copy for Is cents"
For, in addition to giving sage advice.
he was not aycrsc to turning an hon.
est penny Cleveland Plain Dealer.
4 stylshIy dressed woman entered a
restaurant The waiter handed her a
bin of fare written in French. and
said: "pipa9p mark Oft tbn diqbpg ,.ot,