The Savannah morning news., 1903-01-18
HIS WIFE AND HIS CLUB
Witty and Common Sense Advice How Not to and
How to Keep Husband at the Family Fireside.
BY ELIZABETH STRONG WORTHINGTON.
Author of Chow to Cook Husband"
Copyright, 1908. by Elizabeth S. Worthngton.

! loone loike some I cud mention-only
| I'm not afther calling names-Pd
| break iviry blissed dish in Their house
/ over his hid, till he learned ter luv his
| home and trate il wid proper RESPECT"
This may be called the method ener-
| getique. That man would find he had
! chosen the lady and the tiger at one
! and the same time.
Later on l asked a German woman
what she would do under like distress
ing circumstances.
Mine Yacob. he is goot," she de-
! clared.
But when 1 insisted she said:
Vat should l do nit him if he was
I like some bad mems at dot saloon? Wy,
1 think I'd youst take mine ten shil-
( luns, and We would sit at dot saloon
nit Won doorstep, an weep all dot night,
! till he shall come home"
This is the method pathetique, and
( as neither of them seemed precisely
/ fitted for the wandering husband in my
/ own rank of life. l decided to go to
! headquarters-to man himself, for a
remedy for man. Man for mani Bet
ter any day than man against mani
1T all lies in the hands of you wom-
/ en-" said my friend, himself once
| clubman, but now a fast slayer by the
| hearthstone. You see. a fellow en-
| joys a place where he can be COM
| Portable. By nature we are domestic
! We are gregarious, too; we like to call
our friends about US. But of all things,
we hate a great pother. I'd never take
d man home if 1 had to tell my wife
| first. and give her a chance to polish
| up the handle of the big front door. OF
| course, you may say we have plenty
| of servants and can run things as We
| please, but a stones throw from US
| there is a little cottage whose mistress
4 Il l.
! the house-a jolly good fellow he is,
when he will, and it's There comes Joe
with some crony; 1 must hunt up an
| other plate
That's all the fuss there is about
| it, for I've heard her. Everythings so
| pretty there. You know, a fellow likes
to be proud of his home and have other
| Fellows envy him. Things run smooth
| ly there. too. They all bear a hand at
! the work-guests and all-and nothing
| seems a burden.
| Were unreasonable cusses, you see.
We want the greatest freedom, and, at
| the same time, some conventionality,
for we don't like to be put to the blush
| for a helter-skelter house, without form
| or manner.
"Oh, tell you such a home as mine,
| or the little cottage over the way, is
enough to make a clubman green with
| envy"
1 know a young wife who added a
| touch or two to all This and succeeded.
! Billy, as she called her mate, was
| loath to drop his club. Did she whine,
or pout, or cry? Not she. What then?
| She tempted him to stay at home with
| one bait or another until there came
a night when he was particularly tired,
or felt ill. Then she began:
BILLY, you haven't been to the club
| for some time: wouldn't you like to
go to-night?''
mo. I'd rather stay at home"
You really ought to go. If you're
seen there so seldom they'll think
you've lost interest. Go from sense
of duty"
All! little Mrs. Madame Fox knew
that the moment anything was pressed
| on a man as a duty it lost it's relish.
She had another method-this willy
| one. She waited until something con-
| nected with the home came up
something Billy greatly wanted. She
drew vivid pictures of their delight
| in having it, and then, just as Billy
| put out his hand to pluck the desired
| fruit she drew him back.
mo, no! Wen have to go without
it. You must pay your share for that
| banquet next week."
| Or else:
! ooh, no; we can't get it. Your club
dues will soon have to be met"
Hang the club" he exclaimed at
last and verify he did hang it on an
/ unused peg, and ceased trying the
dubious experiment of being single
| and double at once.
But isn't Madame Fox's method
deceitful?" asks Madame Prude
Just here 1 am reminded of a story
1 read lately about two little girls
! who were passing some cows.
Lets pretend we aren't afraid, and
| then they won't chase u.s." said one.
Wont that be deceiving the
| cows?" demurred the other
! For myself l prefer open and above
| board methods. but I don't believe
in splitting hairs, nor do 1 think a
! pretty bit of diplomacy like this IN
| lawful.
Suppose asked a woman with a
! sweet but discouraged face, you'd