Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-04-22
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Motto of the collector: Never put OF
until tomorrow what can be dunned
to-day.-Harvard Lampoon.
A bargain: "Got talking-machine
Mt homer" "Yes." "What did you
pay for it| Nothing Married it,
Tit-Bits.
Prhaps 1t takes several larks to make
a summer, but 1t doesn't take many
swallows to bring fall.-CornelI
Widow.
Too Much Breakage.-The Maid
Shall dust the bric-a- brac, mum? The
Mistress-Not to-day, Nora. don't
think we can afford it.-Pick-Me-Up.
Yeast-Well, he .ls something now
he can't control. Crimsonbeak- Gra-
cious! Has he bought an automobile OK
been getting married?-YonkersS States
man.
Fudge-Yes, all Of Browns hopes
went up In smoke, eli? Fudge-Yes;
his hopes were that his coal supply
would hold out until summer.-Baltl-
more Herald.
Advice to the Widow.-Widow (tearS
fully)-"Yes, my daughters are now
my only resources Friend-Take my
advice and husband your resources
well.-Princeton Tiger.
whats the difference between the
Tramps' Protective Association and q,
golf fiend?' "Well?" why, one links
the tramps, and the other trumps the
links. Princeton Tiger.
Teacher-Bessie name one bird that
is now extinct. Little Bessie Dickl
Teacher-Dlck? What sort Of bird
is that? Little Bessie-Our canary-the
cat extincted him!-Puck.
Miss Sentty Mental-The man mar
ny must be brave as lion; one whom
nothing could swerye from his course
Her Suitor-Ycs, but can't afford an
auto.-Chicago Daily News.
Where IT really did hurt: Tommy
Did paw say it hurt him worse than It
did you? Johnny-Nope; but it did, cuz
while he wuz whalin' me stepped on
his corn.-Indianapolis Sun.
Teacher-Johnnie, this is the worst
composition in the class, and I'm goin0
to write to your father and tell him.
Johnnie-Don't keer If ye do; he wrote
It for me.-Detroit Free Press.
Wasn't even real one: Uncle (trot-
ting Harry OH his knee)-Do you like
this my boy? Hnrry-Pretty well; but
rode on real donkey the other day
at the Zoo.-Harvard LampoOn.
"Our new cook is a treasure" Does
she make choice dishes?" No; but she
can drop tin pan SO 1t sounds exact
ly as IL she were breaking out best cute
glass wl.''-,Indianapolis Journal.
Judging from what he says, he
doesn't believe In college education.''
why, nevr heard him declare against
IT. ooh! no, but what he says is al
ways ungrammatical."-
Press.
On the Train.-Tourist--I think. sir.
you had better close the window on
your side. There is such draught
your mother-in-law may catch cold.
Traveller (smillng)-I know that. Paris
Figaro.
Miss Passe (coy)-Now,Sdo you think
- - a. r, ]. a
.ooN NY ases up. sanuv VII, uon
Know VIII sour ase 's' mss Iasso
Iap: Suauvs
Nv, you ceft 'Su- uoli = 'ooN ''--oos'
'on s.ops.
lu s' 1ta urritapiy)-lt isn't year
since you said you believed our mar
riage was made in heaven, md yet
sou o.us nv, W. ai9unu US : "asn
ans oouy M,ie 'e'.'nis!-or u
,leaNeti nis' 'a"'---Ne" iorA week
u never pays 10 hurt peoples .eel-
, l,g reilarkea tne humane cnap.
IN, ! uoll : Al.oM, replieu tne wise
guy i.iehu u niiae .n''hes pretty
.7o,,.,.t ~ S;no,n,o,, r,on,n,a,a,., r.,ss
W.. = - : So A.'1-
'le.
lntelnai eSluel'cV; u .l'. pa es, rs
eoou 'nins LUZ wy " .1avei' rreo'
ay. ~ develops nm ~ ne mas any
thhg IN nm .ruNe', WI pf.ns ~ out-
Freddy VINO Is precoclous'--Ae ~, u,s'
covered es, 'hn mt. WIEN n,. was cfoss'ns 'ns
ohaniie'.-i ''''''s'
Am l 70 uhueis'lnu .hat you Nelo
dischargeu ilonl 'ne arihy ,ol . nels
preach OF e.'que..e: 5qu ! .ne ln.e.S
estea ,rielu 90 Oh. .,,,,,'o .y ase ,.a y,
Gu Coiohei Diupie' t Mas ~
Iurnlns NY pach ~ 'ne ene1ny'
fhiiadeipnla hecoru.
Soothing MISUNDERSTANDING
say babies are never seasick. Grim
sonbeak-Well, that accounts for some
thing. 1east-What's thatf . CRIMSON M
mer. saw a man as sick as he could
be-. singing Backward, turn back.
ward, O Time In your fight; make mo
n ob;ld ogo;p iust for to.nipht "-ynn.