The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1903-02-06
HAT We girls of the present
day are a vast Improvement
upon what our mothers were;

that we take a more practical
q more sensible view OF life; that We
have jettisoned nearly all those silly
artificial conventions by which the
Victorian woman set so much store, no
candid observer will deny.
Yet. even now, some Of the aforesaid
silly conventions still survive, and one,
the silliest Of all; i mean the relation
of woman TO man in the preliminaries
which lead, through courtshlp. TO wed
lock
Nearly forty years ago Darwin
startled the old wives Of his day by
exploding upon them. as n bombshell,
his novel theory OF natural selection.
i, too in my smaller way have startled
some old wives of my generation by
torpedoing them, so to speak, with
my novel theory OF matrimonial selec-
tion. But ] must tell you all about
that theory; why ! formed 1t, and how
i carried II into practical effect
First, then, as 10 why ! formed il. ]
had not been "out" many months
when il occurred 10 me 10 inquire into
the reason OF the absurd custom by
which the right OF selection and pro-
posal lies exclusively with the man; to
ask myself why il was that he should
be free TO pick and choose, whereas
she-his equal in many things and his
superior I'm most-should have 10 con-
tent herself with being picked and
chosen. And when | came 10 look
4s,fa a h. fnt- N h., NJ nf
II, discovered that there was no
"why," but that IL was merely mean
jngless cOnvention-an empty custom,
existing because IL existed, and OBJ
served because people were foolish
enough TO observe It, Nay, II was
more than meaningless-lt was rotten.
Il was iniquitous. If marriage means
anything to either party (a point. per
haps. open 10 discussion, upon which
j will not here EMBARK, II means more
to the woman than 10 the man. TO
him it's but an incident, TO her IL Is n
career; to him tits still the same old
tune. with variations; TO her tits
brand new piece that has TO be learned
and studied ab initio. OF this fact the
name process is emblematiCal Let
him be Mr.. Smith. let her be Miss
Jones. They marry. What of him?
He remains Mr. Smith to the end of
the chapter. What of her? Her
Miss" becomes forthwith converted
into Mrs" her Zones" transformed
into smith" Her former name and
style know her no more. In one word,
he Is the absorber, she the absorbed.
Now 10 be absorbed the process OF
absorption is far more momcntous than
to the absorber. That Is automatic.
1t therefore follows that if either one
has a greater liberty than the other in
the field OF selection, that one should
be the woman. But i'm practically
most absurd convention-things are
precisely the reverse. Man. the alb
sorber, can select and propose To any
number he likes of the whole fair sex.
Woman. the absorbed, is limited in her
choice TO just those few men that may
see fit to propose. While he has thou
sands to pick from, she has only units;
and those frequently the wrong units.
the man who is just suited to her;
whom she knows she could make hap
pier than any other woman could: who
would, in a word. he the ideal mate
for her. But he is not among those
who have proposed 10 her. Therefore
he is not within practical politics. She
marries some one else as n pis allcr.
But the reformer who doesn't begin
by adopting in practice his own doe
trines is no true reformer. He is
quack, charlatan, a humbug. | am
not that sort. My motto, like Straf-
ford's, has always been Thorough"
"As first step" says l to myself.
toward transferring into woman's
hands the initiative i'm matrimonia!
selection, / will exercise that initiative
myself. Others. when they see my
success. will follow my example; and
soon the benlghted custom by which
my sex are treated as mere passive
proposes will have been relegated to
the limbo of exploded fallacies."
i first mentioned my resolve To nam.
ma. l did not expect support from
the amiable but obsolete old dear; and
i certainly did not get 1t. Mamma
was aghast. Her hair almost stood Oh
end; or, rather, il would have stood on
end had it been hers TO do so. l did
not mind mammals displeasure. how.
ever. Was IL not the fate of all re-
formers TO be misunderstood. abused.
derided by their own families? Be.
sides. was l to be turned aside from
OF obsolescence? No. indeed, lis In
such pinpricks that your whole hearted
revolutionist finds. not an obstruction,
but a stimulus. So with me. IL
spurred me on. / resolved 10 open my
new campaign without a moments
delay.
The first thing 10 do, OF course. was
TO pick out my NANNY ideal mate.
That was simple. In fact, | had al
ready had my eye on him for some
time. His name was Charles Wilton
his age. thirty-five; his pedigree. un.
exceptionable. his person. prepossess.
ing; his manners, agreeable: his pur.
suits. athletic, and his moral charac.
ter above reproach. Moreover (bu,
this is incidental. and in no wise in
fiuenced my considerations). lie had
lately inherited from his father n for
tune Of 100000.
That. then. was done. My ideal mate
was selected. Next to apprise him OF
my selection aud to invite reciprocity
This took a bit of thinking ont.