Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1903-11-02
DAILY SHORT STORY
A Colonel From Connecticut
Copyright. 1903. by C. B. Lewisl

connecticut IN every movement. lie
was as much of q downright Yankee as
the man who invented wooden nut
megs, and he had all the innocence and
righteousness of the chap who sold the
first dozen to confiding housewives.
Ever since landing in London the
colonel had been telling u fish story. 1t
was the same old story over and over,
and he told it from five to twenty
times day, according to circumstances.
He told it to men of all nationalities. It
made no difference whether his listener
could speak English or not. He told it
in hotel reading rooms, at the table,
on the train, on the boat, on the We
randa.
Everybody thought him liar, and .t
was singular that the European public
stood it so long, but it was only after
he reached Interlaken and had repeat
ed his story for the twentieth time in
two days that an Englismnan who had
bumped up against him at several re-
sorts made up his mind that the thing
had gone far enough.
He took half dozen other tourists
into his confidence, and as a result a
certain Frenchman who was stopping
at another resort was sent for. The
news went around that NJ. dArtagen,
the famous duelist, was to arrive. He
had killed seven different men on the
field of honor. He was a man who
hated liar and never heSitated to in
terrupt man telling tall story. Care
was taken that Colonel Perkins should
be thoroughly informed, and as gently
as possible he was advised to hold on
to his fish story during the duelist's
stay His answer was:
THAT story ought to interest him,
but if he don't want to hear it he
needn't. I'm not forcing it on any
body
D'Artagen arrived on q certain even
ing and had been previously coached
as to the part he was to play. Colonel
Perkins was introduced to him as soon
as possible, and he spent about two
minutes sizing the duelist up. Then he
observed:
General, if you have come here to
fish you'll be disappointed. You can't
get a bite once a week. If you want
fishing as is fishing you'll go to the
United States. Lord, but what fishing
I've had in the Connecticut river! Just
bite there in April I'll tell you what
did one day. 1 went out by myself and
caught 10000 shad in ten hours with
hook and line, and 1 must have had all
of 10000 bites that didn't hook the fish.
1t took a span of big horses to draw
my catch home. That's what you call
fishing, though my record don't begin
with some others
That was the old. old story. The fig
ures had not been decreased to $4,000
nor raised to 10000. The fish had new
er been named as suckers or mullet.
but always as shad. People had been
obliged to swallow the story, tails and
all, or call the colonel a liar, and they
had swallowed and moved on. But the
colonePs time had come at last. When
he had finished his story the duelist
observed:
''Sir, have the great honor of call
ing you a liarr'
"a liar! Good lands, but what for?"
exclaimed Perkins.
Had you caught one fish per minute
you could have caught only 600 in ten
hours. 1t was utterly impossible. Ten
men could not have done it. You took
me for a fool and lied to me-
But did you ever fish in the Con-
necticut river9"
Never"
Did you ever fish for shad?"
Never
"Then why call me a liar? Bring a
notary public here and I'll make affida
Wit to what 1 said. 1 fished for ten
hours and the fish numbered'-
OF fl1a
duelist as he arose.
''Shoor
"And he who insults me must fight.
There is my card. Have you a friend
here? Let us fight at sunrise"
by gum. but what a peppery man.
said the colonel as the other withdrew.
"Well, if he wants to fight L suppose
I'll have to accommodate him. Indeed,
I've got to fight because he didn't be-
lieve my story. 1 never tell story that
amt willing to back up. VIII one of
you fellers act as my second in the af
fair?"
The Englishman volunteered, but the
conspiracy didn't call for duel. The
idea was to scare Colonel Israel Alex
ander Perkins back to his Connecticut
river and its shad- He was told that he
would be killed, no matter what the
weapons, and was advised to call for
his bill and seek a change of climate.
Not only one man advised him thus,
but half dozen, but each and every
one received the same reply:
"Sorry. sir, but 1 can't do it. The
state of Connecticut would never for
give me, and 1 could never hope to
catch another shad. The duel must go
on. Under the circumstances 1 couldn't
even accept an apology from the
Frenchman."
When it was realized that the colonel
was forcing things he was advised as
the challenged party to choose swords,
but he held out for revolvers and could
not be persuaded. There might be
chance to load with blank cartridges,
but they dared not risk it. Colonel Per