Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-06-06
ALIfS FAIR IN LOVE.

I've been observing out of the tail of my
eye lately that my Oldest boy. bout twelve
years old. is just beginning to chirk up and
pay attentions to the girls he meets up
with" said the portfJ comfortable-Iooking
man with ths lurking grin around his
mouth. His method of paying attention
to them-lettipg EN- know that he consid-
ers them worth nottcing-is to give little
tugs at their pig tails, to try to knock their
school books Out of their hands, to sneak
up behind them and scare 'em almost into
fits by bawling in their ears, and so on
the usual methods whereby small boy
who's just beginning to admit to himself
that girls-or females of any age, for that
matter-nave any part in the social fabric
or IN the destinies Of the world, seeks to
gain the good graces of the little girls
Mhon ne royalty honers with his patroniz-
ing hon-commtttal attentions. Up to
ABOUT the age of twelve, the average small
ooy looks upon girls as so much waste ma
teriai IN the composition of the human race,
anu nus CAIN and self-contained manner of
iehoIihs tnem as absolute non participants
IN the social equation is elemental in it's
completeness and consistency.
Anyhow, as l watch the antics of this
o, n poy Oh mine in his cub-like efforts to
attla act the attention of the little girls upon
whom he has begun to bestow such signs
oI MS 1avor l get to thinking of when I
was at just that semi-civilized stage of life
my and burned If it doesn't make me
Got to thinking last evening of the mean,
inca. .neasiey way l ducked a terrible humilia-
.loil IN the eyes of the little girl I was
mas ;e on when l was just at the age Of
tia Aiu OF mine She was a tidy little
lhs, pout leven years old, in Bingham
aprons ana sun bonnets and with a couple
VI taIIo"y pfg-tails finishing in bright red
a an,os DOWN her back, who lived right
ntt tpsS me street from where lived in the
niue western town. It was a pretty serious
Sdse petWeen us. and on the day that DON
ne. heu my nrst pair Of gray jeans long pants I
toia Hattie. confidentially that 1 had decided
a ma. sne would do as my wife when 1 got
around to marrying and had achieved a
competency as a bank and train robber
1atue received this benign and benevolent
assurance with proper and becoming hu-
tha. tyi ana when she ventured the opinion
mat would eventually make the James
boys and the Younger brothers iooI IiLs
t tpot es IN their business or words to
la ehect' heartily concurred in that
OPINION non. and told her So
that you,w won eo+ get no more lickin's, now
sha ~ We got long pants on, will you?
"n =. asked me on that great day
hlckln 81! said I. giving utterance to
"a i;o iphg, low, rakish laugh. Who's a-goin' t.
hck me! They'd be a-skeeartp
Ihat was about the way it stood be-
tween us on this day that started to tell
you ABOUT when I had to do some quick
I'M thihklng IN order to keep from shedding
~ ose neloic aspect which I wore in the eyes
of the street o-o
mad been strictly enjoined, on pain
OF the thrashing of my life, by both INV
"a. anu mother, not to go swimming in
.He Mlssourl river. Notwithstanding which,
or course. took. the usual little chance
winch boys assume in such cases made
and provided One afternoon l got home
looking good deal like lobster just out
% Il
the Missouri since about 9 o'clock that
morning. and the summer sun shines some
bright on the bosom of the old Missouri.
m Ieinhg you. Not only was my hair
that hadn't waited to let it dry-but,
somehow or other, in hurriedly dressing
when coming out of the water I'd got my
lttle blue checked Bingham jacket on
My good mother of whose powers of
dlscernment had had an exceedingly small
idea up to that time. took me in with a
sort or slantWise gaze when 1 hustled in
summer kitchen to grab out something to
eat, preparatory to going down to the
river for still another swim.
Son. she said to me, your hair is wet.
Been playin' pirate over by Jinkie
Mack's well, an they thrung water on my
head l told her, carelessly-I sure was q
boy with hair trigger sort Of an imagi-
nation. =.
"She edged a little closer to me, how
ever. and said:
=" And your jacket is. turned the wrong
way How does that happen, my boy?'
Well that sure was kind of a sumner,
even for boy quick at framing up an
swers to suit any old emergency. But, as
l say. rated my mothers analytical DOW
ers as something pretty close to the zero
mark-up to that time, that is
ooh I replied. but not quite in such an
OF hand manner, was a-climbin' tn
fence. an'-an' 1t got turned that-a-way'
Pretty raw, wasn't it? Can you imagine
the fond imbeclity of even a small boy ex-
pecting his mother to swallow a dose like
that?
"And. when my mother got through with
me. and 1 went to the front Of the house,
still blubbering and rubbing myself. saw
my beloved pair Of pig-taiIs across the
street. Hattie was looking over at our
house, and there was sort of triumph
ant, gloating expression in her eyes. !
knew that she'd heard the notes Of pain
I'd emitted. and 1t was agonizng for me
to stand for her knowing that I'd been
licked, Notwithstanding the heroic pronun-
ciamento I'd made to her with regard to
that matter. s.
II corralled my younger brother right
away.
:. Jim I said to him, If you'll say to
anybody that asts you that you got tn
lickin' stead o. me. I'll give you my top an
half my marbles.
THAT suited Jim all right-he hadn't got
to the age when he was taking notice of
any mere girls.
my inamorata was still standing in
front Of her gate, watching our house with
that essentially feminine and yindictiye
CLEAN in her little blue eyes, when / care
lessly strolled out of our house, the front
way. with my brother Jim.
'Aa-aa-aai was the instant greeting
that she hurled at me across the street.
Got licked. didn't you? Thought YOU
wasn't goin' t. get licked no more? Thought
you said they'd be a-skeeart? Aa-aa-aa.
shamey. shamey. got licked, aa-aa-aa.'
II crossed over to her with great dig
nifty.
"'What you talkin bout, annyway? I
SAIL to her, solemnly. Who got licked?'
"'You did-aa-aa- aa:' she repeated and
then called Jimmy over.
"'Hey, kid I said to JIM was all of
two years older than Jim-'who got licked,
me or YOU?
:" I did, promptly replied Jim, FIR throw
in tn dipper into tn we'll.
''That let me out and reduced my little
pig-tailed sweetheart to a state of abiect
apology. But it was a narrow squeak"
Truths About Rats.
From the Pail Mall Gazette
That the ''devil is not SO black as he is