The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07
Cadet StOrieS=The Boy Tar
BY W. W. wHITELocK.

Professor Bryan was the butt of the boys sbe undertook to teach. To look at him No experience a mixture of pity and con tempt for the long, lanky, serious, unpracti- cal creature, who at 50 years of age was happy 10 secure a position suitable for Beginner.
 As the initiator of the third class into the mysteries of geometry, he suffered the ex- Nremes of which the human heart Is capable. "Mr. Carsonl MT. Carson!' he would cry ln weak protest, do you realize. sir. that you are behaving in 2 manner unsuitable to he classroom? Get down off the back of That bench immediately, or I shall be forced 10 report youi"
 "shlp anoyt' cried Shorty" shading his pves with his hand and fixing them on the horizon.
 Where away?" inquired Lovejoy, as though from the bridge.
 Two points off the starboard bow, sirl' "Nr. Carson, you are forgetting yourself. Tr! If this occurs again shall really have To report you"
 Under the circumstances it was hardly to De expected that great progress would be made in the science of Euclid Each day lhe leaders In the mischief would hatch out lome fresh scheme for making poor Pro fessor Bryan miserable. Finally, the mere Thought of the geometry class was enough to cause him to break Into a cold Perspira- Non.
 Unknown to "Shorty'' and his friends, However, a whisper of the unseemly pro- keedings had reached the ear of Lieutenant Deagan, the United States military detail. and he determined to investigate matters for himself By an unfortunate fatality he rhose for lss vasit the occa asion of the worst demonstratAn Sf Snsubordlnation of which ehe class had yet been guilty. Monkey" Bnms and other choice spirits had oiled the in nj Ahat writing on them was impossible. and Bad placed a mouse In his desk and had hven gone so far as 10 put piece of soft tar bn his chair. The rlngleaders had further hgreed to applaud him voclferously upon his hntrance. Shorty" knew nothing of these elaus beforehand. as he was on regular buard duty, but his innocence was purely Occidental.
 . When the class assembled all those in the tecret-and this comprised all but McChes- Pey and one or two other good" boys-were In tense state of excitement. Five minutes passed. but the victim did not put In an ap- pearance. Ten minutes. but teacher. Suddenly, however. the familiar, slow step was henrd approaching, and the boys pre- pared to receive him. hesitnting hand was placed on the door knob and then 1t turned.
 Now" cried Monkey Sams. and the slass burst into voclferous applause. The
  fore them, and a frightened silence fell on the room. For q terrible half minute he stood motionless. while his eyes roved from one guilty face to the other.
 Well" he said at last In quiet. sarca astic mqnner, "you seem glad to see me at all events. shall try 10 deserve my welcome" Stepping quickly to the teachers chair, he Was about to sent himself when hls sharp eye caught the insldious piece of tar.
 "Oh"' Monkey Sans cried out. half fsing and stretching out his hand as though 10 prevent the catastrophe.
 Lieutenant Deagan raised his eyes and hxed them with ominous portent on "shorty,' but he made no direct reference to hs discovery
 'Mr. Carson" he said slowly and in his Politest tones: q understand that you are pnite an expert at geometry. I should be glad to have you take the chair today and conduct the class'
 Shorty" gazed at him, at loss for a reply.
 Lieutenant Deagan.' he said at last. fee DIV Greek is my strong point. not geome- try I'm afraid l shouldn't do credit to Professor Brynn's teaching.
 You must not be so modest Mir Carson" was the reply. Its a great mistake I really must insist upon your taking the de rection of the class today"
 Shorty" knew this tone. and he realized the folly of resistance. With a resigned
 
 tended for Professor Bryan. Then he hesi- lated.
 "Sit down, Mir. Carson, sit down." urged Lieutenant Deagan. and shorty sank Into the chair with the feeling that he was sitting on an oyster. A litter went up from the onookers, but Lieutenant Deagan took no notice of 1t.
 Now, MT Carson" he said walking over and laying his hand on the desk, in which was the unfortunate mouse, T shall be obliged if you will give out the problems for the day"
 By this time Shorty" had somewhat re- gained his composure and firmly planting bls elbows on the desk lid. to prevent the godent's escape, he opened the book and gave out the theorems to various members of the class. Accordingly they took posi-. tlons at the blackboards and made pretense of trying to construct the figures. But, of course they could not make stroke on the greasy boards
 My, my!' said Lieutenant Deagan, seiz- ing piece of chalk and trying to make mark with 1t, there seems to be something the matter with these boards l am afraid we shall have to order new ones for you, at your expense It's too bad, but l see we shall have to give up these lesson for today Take your seats, gentlemen. l am ex-