The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-12-13
Killed His Own Ghost
,busC
the Alnostv eracio emo Of Thunnrn
BY GEORGE RANDOLPH CHESTER.


I ''who in blazes are you. anyway" de-
manded Bill.
I'm your own ghost. dog-gone you,"
said the image, shaking his fist at him.
MY own ghostw exclaimed Bill Look
| here, stranger, what have you been smok-
! ing?'
| 'TIl show you whether I've been 'smok-
ing or notr' shrieked the ghost, jumping
| up and down in fury. "Just look through
me once"
1t moved around, and Bill saw the furni-
| ture right through it!
We'll, suppose you are my ghost" Bill
] grudgingly admitted. I'm not dead yet,
by any means. How does it come that
you're off your schedule this way?'
IT'S you that's off schedule, confound
your" retorted the ghost holly 1T was all
fixed up. the day you was born, for you to
croak at Shivers's house tonight, but some
| how it didn't come off. I've been awaiting
that minute for fifty-five years. At ex-
actly the right second 1 was turned loose.
and here 1 am, first-class ghost without
a job. The worst of it is there is no tell
ing when you will die now.
Bill began to laugh. 1t always did tickle
him to get the best of bargain. But the
| ghost didn't see the joke.
| ITS no laughing matter" il complained
| Here I've been for years, planning some
| fine work in the haunting line l don't
| suppose there's nosier set of chains any
| where than I've got all ready to clank.
| Why, Bill, If you'd treated me fairly and
| died when you ought, not single enemy
| of yours would have had a wink of sleep
this night. I've practiced fancy groans
| till can bleach human hair quicker than
peroxide. Hare, I'll give you sampled"
The ghost screwed I'D its face and
| groaned so horribly that Bill tumbled out
of bed and hunted up the brandy bottle
right away.
Great said BILL Great! But for
| heavens sake cut that out and move on
Just toddle out and tend to your haunting"
Il can't" groaned the ghost in despair
1--WE got to stay right with you all the
time, night and day.
What" yelled Bill
That's right" said the ghost. "Im with
you asleep or awake. till you die! l can't
| go back or L would. I'm in bad, 1 tell
| you. Why just think! If / get to do any
haunting it will be when you're along.
| That's pretty good idea, too,'' the ghost
went on, Frightening up 81 know you'd
enjoy some of the fancy stunts L can do.
Let's go out and do little haunting of
nights before you go to work. Now, for
| instance, had intended to call on Shver
and scare him stiff for killing you. Let's
go around there and give him a fit any,
how. I'm anxious for you to see what q
bang-up good ghost you'll have to repre-
sent your interests when you do die
Not any!" replied Bill. crawling back
into bed and tucking the covers under his
chin. I'm busy man; an honest, hard
working burglar, with no time for fool
ishness." Then Bill went to sleep.
Dawn came too soon for the ghost to do
much just then, but the next night it got to
work Every few minutes it gave a ire
mendous groan or set up an awful chain
clanking, and drove Bill nearly crazy. At
first Bill would heave shoe a hair
brush or something at the ghost every time
he woke up; the ghost would howl with
pain, if he got hit and for little while
there would be silence. Then Ii would start
ali over again. By and by, however, Bill
got used to it. Inside of a week he could
sleep right through it all. and he thought
the annoyance was about over. But it
wasn't. He was ordered to move out of
over a dozen apartments before he was
driven to renting a cottage with no neigh.
bors nearer than two blocks.
Then the ghost took new tack. When
Bill would drop in at his club for quiet
chat or a game of whist his friends would
be annoyed by hollow groan or the dis
NAL clanking of a chain every now and
then, and 1t made them nervous. They
couldn't tell just where the noises came
from, but in time they connected them with
Bill, and the result was that they avoided
him. Bill hated this, for the bankers and
corporation lawyers and others of his own
class that he had gathered around him
were very dear friends, and he disiked to
give them up. But he had to do so. He
demonstrated with the ghost about it, but
the ghost only chuckled and invited Bill
to go out haunting with him.
The next trick that it played on Bill was
still worse. 1t got to interfering with his
business. Bill would be creeping gently
across a bedroom floor when. through the
dead silence of the night, would come a
groan or a clank, or maybe both together,
that would almost jar the plaster from the
ceiling and wake up everybody in the block.
The profits began to dwindle so that the
police department limited he was getting
lazy. So one night, after a good big haul
had been spoiled, Bill waited till they got
Il
ghost the worst licking he had ever given
anybody in his life. The ghost put up a
pretty good fight, too, and they went to the
carpet together and tore up half of the fur
niture before Bill finally won After that
the ghost quit the noisy act and thought
up new kind of meanness. It got a book
on mesmerism and studied until it got SO It
could mesmerize Bill in his sleep and make
; somnambulist out of him.
Now somnambulism is a very bad thing
for burglar, as Bill found out one morn
ing. He had successfully burgled and had
come home so tired he was ready to drop.
AS soon as he was properly asleep the
ghost mesmerized him into doing a SOM
nambulstic turn and started him out in
his nightclothes to return the swag.
policeman luckily caught Bill, just as he
was about to crawl back into the window
of the burglared house, and woke him up.
well, I'll be =, If il amt my old
friend Bill Uggler, a-walking in his sleep,''
exclaimed the copper. why, Bill, what
| ails your
Il Jn,ft