Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1903-03-07
DEACON
H A r D US
PARROT
By Cyrus .Sfocun,


ing n pig in the parlor, but he wasn't
proof against circumstance. His sister
out in Ohio event and got on her dy-
ing bed," as he explained il, and he
was sent for to bid her Il last farewell.
There was only one thing on her mind,
and she proceeded to state it. She had
owned a parrot for many years, and
she wanted to be assured Of its future
before she closed her eyes. The eat
which would also be left behind could
get along some way, nor did she care
what became of her quilt frames and
tatirons. but that parrot must find
home with Christian family.
The brother checrfully offered his
refuge and promised to bring Polly up
in the way she should go. When the
funeral was over he started for his
home in the east with the big tin cage
in tow. The parrot had been silent for a
week, and the deacon's heart had warm
cd toward her. He figured 1t out that
she realized the situation and was doing
a proper amount of mourning. The
deacon's wife welcomed Polly as relic
Of the dear departed and was Sollcitous
tHdJ she ouOulu icel ptIitttis 1T Houit,
when something happened. The bird
suddenly found her tongue and cried
out:
What in blank ails this blank crowd
anyhow
The deacon was hOcing potatoes in
his back yard, and when Aunt Mary
staggered out to him and told him the
f,,I r. Inc l,nIin iS
senses.
You are 4 little deaf in your right
ear, you know" he finally replied. land
must have got things mixed up. |
know that my dear sister Ellen never
taught that bird anything but words
out Of the good book. Let us go in and
Sec'
They entered the kitchen, where Pol
ly was roosting on the back of Il chair.
AS they stood before her she cooked
her head and saIutcd them with:
"\ow | lay me down to sleep"
Didn't | tell you so:' said the dca
con as his troubled look was replaced
by smile Of relief.
IL thought it was swearing, but |
must have been mistaken" reluctantly
admitted Aunt Mary. well I'm glad
ont 1t would be jest awful to have
a swearing parrot around
Three days later. as Polly sat Oh
perch near the gate, Mrs. Simpkins
came along on her way to the store
and stopped to look at her. She had
scarcely come to Il halt when she was
salutcd with:
"Who in blank are yOu:'
II was stunning blow, and Mrs.
Simpkins felt her head swimming
round and round. Before she could re-
cover the bird yelled out:
Lets have another beer
Then Mrs Simpkns screamed. and
Deacon Hardy and his wife rushed out
to the gate to see what was the mat
ter. When she repeated Polly's Ian
guagc, or as much Of it as she dared,
the deacon smiled and replied:
ITS another mistake. You never
heard Il parrot talk before. and you
got his words twisted up. My dear
deceased sister told me over and over
again that he was Il religious bird and
that he never said anything but
Honor thy father and thy mother"
interrupted Polly.
Didn't say so.' exclaimed the
deacon as he rubbed his hands togeth-
er.
"Amen Amen. Amen" screamed
the bird.
Mrs. Simpkins had to give 1t up,
though as she continued on her way
she couldn't help but wonCer whether
she was growing deaf or abscntmind-
cd.
Polly had no more surprises that
day, but on the next, as the staid and
dignitied village justice Of the peace
was passing along on the opposite side
of the street. IL voice cried out TO him:
Hello, you old villain. What in
blank ails you:"
The justice paused and looked
around. He was alone on the street.
The words could have been addressed
to no one else He crossed over the
road and saw Polly on her perch.
Just then Deacon Hardy came around
the corner of the house with hoe In
his hand.
There's such thing as contempt
Of court" solemnly observed the JUS
ticc.
whats the matter?' asked the dea-
con.
Your parrot has called me names
and used profane language
But she couldn't have. She knows
nothing but good words. My dear de-
ceased sister spent nearly all her time
for five years In teaching this poor
bird to-
Brethren and sisters, let US all join
in the singing" solemnly announced
Polly.
"Any profane language about that!'
asked the deacon over the fence.
IF it wasn't her, it was some boy
hidden around here" replied the JUS
tce. Il guess it was boy, and I'm
sorry laid it to the parrot. | never
thought much of parrots. but l amt
saying that religious parrot amt all
right"
Polly realized that she had had Il
narrow escape. and for the next three
days she chartered of nothing worse
than Moses in the bulrushes and Dan
iel in the lions den. She was estab-
fishing her reputation on a foundation
OF rock when Uncle Absalom Flint
emma oInn, 1ri wing n mig He W0S