davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Good CatSup,

If you have never been perfectly sat-
isied with the catsup you have been
getting, we want you to try bottle of
Monopole. Even if you are satisfied
we want you to try it anyway, for We
are sure you will become a permanent
user of it. No other brand in the
market has the fine taste, the delicate
favor and gives to any dish that appe-
tizing zest as does Monopole. Get
Monopole catsup from your dealer.
Wadhams & Kerr Bros, Monopole
Grocers and Dry Coffee Roasters, Port
land, Ore.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
TILE MEN AND WOMEN
Who Enjoy the Choicest Products
Of the Worlds Commerce.
Knowledge of what La Best More Ina-
Dortant Than Wealth With
out 1t.

It must be apparent to every one that
qualities Of the highest order are neces-
sary to enable the best Of the products OF
modern commerce to attain permanently
to universal acceptance. However loudly
heralded, they may not hope for worldwide
preemInence unless they meet with the
general approval. not Of individuals only.
but Of the many who have the happy
faculty of selecting, enjoying and learn
ing the real worth Of the choicest prod
ucts. Their commentator. consequently.
becomes important to others. since to
meet the requirements of the well in
formed Of all countries the method Of
manufacture must be of the most per-
feet order and the combination the most
excellent Of its kind. The above is true
not Of food products only. but is espe-
cia1ly applicable to medicinal agents and
after nearly quarter of a century OF
growth and general use the excellent
remedy. Syrup Of Figs, Is everywhere
accepted, throughout the world, as the
best Of family laxatives. It's quality is
due not only to the excellence of the
combination Of the laxative and carmin-
ative principles Of plants known to act
most benefcially on the system and pre-
sented in the form Of a pleasant and re-
freshing liquid. but also to the method
OF manufacture of the California Fig
Syrup Co., which ensures that uniformi-
ty and purity essential In a remedy In
tended for family use. Ask any physt-
clan who is well informed and he will
answer at once that 1t Is an excellent
laxative II at ali eminent in his pro-
fession and has made special study Of
Iaxatives and their effects upon the sys-
TEN he will tell yeu that it is the best
OF family laxatives, because it is sim
pie and wholesome and c1eanses and
sweetens the system efectually. when
a laxative is needed, without any un-
pleasant after-efeets. Every well-in-
formed druggist of reputable standing
knows that Syrup OF Figs is an excel
lent laxative and Is glad to sell 1t. at
fhe regular price Of fifty cents per bot
lie, because It gives general satisfac-
don, but one should remember that In
order to get the beneficial effects OF
Syrup Of Figs 1t IS necessary to buy the
genuine, which is sold in original pack
ages only; the name of the remedy
Syrup OF Figs and also the full name OF
the company-California Fig Syrup Co.
printed on the front Of every package.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
THE CALIFORNIA BOTANICAL GATEWAY 10
AND WEALTH

Is really a one dollar book mailed you for Is
cents silver, to introduce it. 1t tells you about
newly discovered Botanical Remedies for the
cure of many diseases, new ways to make
money and get employment to nurse and care
years the newly diseosered red Angle W Worm s Oil biz
massage for removing wrinkles and beautify-
ing the complexion, new varieties of roses,
fruits and vegetables, the wheat, corn and sun
flower food, cereal coffee, imitation cala gold
and silver, stands acids, preventing smallpox
pittings, maple syrup and sugar from wood
new soft drinks, trade secrets for manufacturer
things you need not ask the doctor, a real home
doctor book and encyclopedia of general infor-
wants health and wealth. Is about 100 pages,
Axe, paper cover Contents sheet free.
The California Botanical Medicine Co.,
1898 North Alvarado ST., Los Angeles, Cal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Satisfied With Dogs Warning.

When dog entered the cell of Maur-
ice Bouche, imprisoned at Lille,
France, and under sentence Of death
for the murder of a woman, and licked
his hand, on the morning of the day of
execution, the murderer, who had all
along protested his innocence, and ex-
pressed confidence in reprieve, imme-
diately prepared for death.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
What She Was Thinking.

Gladys - I'm something of mind
reader myself.
Ethel-Indeed?
Gladys-Yes; can usually tell at a
glance what person thinks of me.
Ethel-Wenderfull But don't you
often find it awfully embarrassing
Exchange.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
The Ins and Outs of II.

SIS your master in?" asked the cal
Ter of the servant at the door.
"Deed, sub, I don't know TO- sure" !"
"Can't you find eut?"
"Wsll. sub, it's dis way: Eff yo'
come to pay dat s5 yo' borrowed of
him, he say he's in ies' dat much but
ef yo' come to borrow some mo-, he say
he's out all he's gwine ter be, suh."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21


In spite of all efforts to prevent it,
the filthy secretions and mucous mat
Ter find their way into the Stomach
and are distributed by the blood to
every nook and corner of the systems
the Stomach and Kidneys, in fact
every organ and part Of the body, be-
come infected with the catarrhal
poison. This disease is rarely, if ever,
even in itsearliest stages, a purely local
disease or simple Inflammation Of the
nose and throat, and this swhy sprays,
washes, powders and the various in
haling mixtures fail to cure. Heredity
Is sometimes back of it-parents have
It and so do their children.
In the treatment of Catarrh, anti
septic and soothing washes are good
head and throat, but this is the extent
permanently, the blood must be purifi
of foul secretions, and the remedy to
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Long Time a Postmaster.

The dean of fourth-class postmasters
is Milo 7. Winchester, of South Amen
ia, N. Y, who has been in Office fifty
four years, having been appointed July
10, 1S49. The salary of his position is
s133 per year, and there has never been
a complaint against his Office.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Making It Easy.

"My Dear SIR" wrote the editor to
the persistent young author, sin order
to simplify matters somewhat We are
enclosing a bunch OF our declined
with thanks notices. If you will pnt
one of these in an envelope with your
manuscript and mail it to yourself it
will make it easier for all of us, and
you will be saving something in post
age as WE'LL"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
THE HOW AND WHY.

ance may be wrong. Mr.. III. C. Iippincott, of
Philadelphia, one Of the most foremost insur-
little book entitled "The How and Why 1t
has been adopted by several Eastern colleges
to teach the.frst principals of life insurance,
and may be had free by addressing Sherman
and Harmon: general agents Penn Mutual Life
Insurance. Co, Murquam building, Portland,
Or. 1t may help you to understand How and
Why the Penn Mutual dnring 1902 wrote q
larger amount of insurance in Oregon than was
ever before written In the state by any COM
paRy in enc year.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Used to 1t.

Towne-You don't mean to eay you
didn't notice that earthquake shock?
Browne-I guess was home in Aigu-
hurst at the time.
To2ne-But the shake must have
been perceptible there.
Browne-I guess all of us took it fer
our malaria.-Philadelp Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Still in IL.

$50 Graphter is out of politics now"
Nonsense! Who told you that?'
"He did. He told me to-day that he
doesn't take any stock in politics nova
days"
Exactly. Most of the stock he took
proved worthless. He holds out for the
long green now."-Philadelph Pres.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Retweeu Friends.

"I'm getting tired of boarding
houses" said the young man who parts
his hair in the middle. "I've half a
mind to get married."
'Of course" growiad the old bachel-
or. ''It takes just about that amount
of mind to think of such fool thing"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Would Surely Raise Revenue.

In the old days they spoke of IL
censed fool. If all the fools were re-
Quilted to have a license now, the gov
eminent could do away with its other
taxes and still maintain the surplus.
There's "single tax" for you.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Use 1t.

One of the best pieces of advice for a
safe journey through life 1 saw on a
Sign at railroad crossing. The sign
read: "Stop! Lookl Listenl"-Bal-
timore American.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
WroT r. Tpu.v
Knew Her Business.

softleigh-Are you quite sure Miss
Banks is not in?
The Maid-Of course I am. She
gave me one of your photographs in
order to make me doubly sure.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Latakia Tobacco.

Latakia tobacco obtains it's peculiar
favor through being sprinkled with
water and allowed to ferment after
thorough fumigation with the smoke of
resinous aromatic wood grown in Syria,
states consular report.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
A Different State.

Fleiman's home for a short
trip from his new ranch in Texas.
Browne-Yes, saw him.
Towne-He's 80 full of Texas he
can't talk of anything else.
Browne-When saw him I noticed
that he couldn't talk Of anything, but I
thought it was because hs was full of
Observation-Disclosures Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Just What Happened.

penelope" said the anxious mother.
"teH me truly, did Charles kiss you
last night?''
'There was eight labial juxta-
position as = Charles took his leave,
mother, but assure yeu It was only
momentary and therefore inecuous."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Inventor Loses His Mind.

M. Goubet, inventor OF the subma-
rine boat, the patents of which we're
purchased by an English com pany, has
been removed to an asylum.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Answered.

ssMy boy John writes me that he is
stoppin' at the best hotels" remarked
Mrs. Corn.
els he a commercial traveller
emo; he's drivin' parcels delivery
van. "s-.Cassell's g Journal.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Squeaky.

A little three year-old miss while
her mother was trying to get her to
sleep became interested in peculiar
noise, and asked what it was.
ga cricket, DEAR" replied her
mother.
"Weil," remarked the little lady,
che ought to get hisself oiled. -
Young Peoples Paper.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
1t Couldn't Be.

The other morning little Howard got
up unusually cross. Roy tried to play
with him, but at last he became impa-
tient and said:
81 guess ycu got up on the wrong
side of the bed" Little Howard
promptly replied:
"No, 10Y. dot up ON mammals
side,n
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Recuperating.

One day little four-year. old Cora was
trying to stand on her head. Her
mother asked her what she was doing.
She answered:
s'I's standing on my head TO rest my
feet. Little Chronicle.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21

Berlin's Oldest "Weiss Beer'' Saloon.
Bsrlin's eldest "weiss bier" saloon
is being torn dewn. 1t was in the
Charlottenstrasse and had been open
12l years.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
ThMarted Them,

"Why did old Rollingold give away
all his money!"
''He was afraid his relatives would
have him adiudged incapable of taking
care of it.o
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
.Jusfifiable Hauteur.

Pauline - Have you nothing to be
proud If?
Penelo2e-Yes. I'm proud that
haven't any false pride.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21

These equal rights old girls look at
the editorials of paper first when any
one is around, but when alone they
turn to the love stories first. the same
as any other young thing.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
MARTYR to knowledge.

Young Lady-Were you pleased with
the new school, little boy?'
Little Boy-Naw! Dey made me
wash me face, an when went home
de dorg bit me cause he didn't know
me!-Chicago News
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
LOOK OUT FOR
(A1ARRF|

freezing weather the Winter
Catarrh
headaches neuralgia thick discharges
hacking the chest bad
the mouth ed breath and all that makes cah the
all complaints feeling OF
modification that and
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Ambition Realized

When Andrew Carnegie was com.
PEELED to borrow dollar to place in a
contribution box the other night it
must have been the happiest moment
of his life. At last his great ambition
had been realized. He was penniless.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Learning by Degrees.

Little Charlie being asked by his
teacher the subject of his geography
lesson, answered promptly:
Longitude and Shortitude.''
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21

Nothers win ino mrs. N1nslow's Sooth-
children during the teeching period.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21

For bronchial troubles try Piso's Cure
for Consumption. It is good cough
medicine. At druggists, price 25 cents.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Had An He Wanted.

Had An He Wanted.
81 don't like yer story" said the
Billville reader.
"Maybe not now," replied the auth
or, shut it will grow on you"
"I hope not," was the reply, "fer
I've got three carbuncles now" AT
Ianta Constitution.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
No Amateur.

Bill-That man is horrible liar.
Jill-O, don't know; think he's
good at it.-Yonkers Statesman.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
Scientific fact.

Scientific Fact.
Fred-Do you know anything about
lover
Joe-Do 1? My dear boy, I've made
It life study.
Fred-With what resultf
Joe-Well, I've succeeded in reduc-
Ing my ignorance of it to a science.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21

PRP& Permanently Cured No fins or nervousness
tBbO sfter first day's Of Dr. klins's Great Nerve
Restorer Send for FREE 81 O0 trial bottle and treat
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
HOw,s TA1s1

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for anv
ease of Cattarrh that can not be cured by Halli
Catarrh Cure.
F. J. CHENEY & Co., Props. Toledo. O.
We the undersigned. have kncwnF J. Cheney
for the past Is years, and believe him perfectly
honorable in all business transactions and fin
BY their firm.
WEST & TRUAx,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo,
WALDING KiNNAN 4 MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo o.
Hall Catarrh Cure Is taken Internally acting
g1recfly on the blood and mucous surfaces OF
the system. Price 75c per bottle. Sold by all
druggists. Testimonial free.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Quite Apprepriat

Quite Appropriate.
Hell wonder why Mrs. Splugg
dresses 20 loud?
sAe-Oh. her hubsand is quite deaf.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Didn't Have To.

DR.. Failey docking at the thermom.
eter)-Humm! don't like your tenn
perature.
Sick student-Then why did you take
it?-Harvard Lampoon.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21

All the Worlds 'Pothecary Shop.
Sezso-Ruyter is not an author; he's
a born chemist.
Tizso-Why? ---.
Sezso-Every novel he writes becomes
a drug on the market.-Breoklyn
Eagle.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Hoods S Jdrsapdrilid
and Pills

Make the blood pure, vigorous and
rich, create appetite, give vitality,
str, myth and animation, and cure
all eruptions. Have the whole family
begin to take them today.
Hoods Sarsaparilla has been used In
our family for some time, and always with
good results. Last spring was all run
down and got a bottle of 1t, and as usual
received great benefit" MISS BEULAH
BoYcE, Stowe, vt.
Hoods SarsaparIlIa promises -
cure and keeps the PROMISE
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21

Many men. in looking for work, STUN
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21
Spring Medicine

There 1s no other season When goOu
medicine 10 80 much needed as in the
Spring.
The blood liz impure, weak and
impoverished-a condition indicated
by pimples and other eruptions on the
face and body, by deficient vitality,
loss of appetite, lack of strength, and
want Of animation.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-04-21

Manchester, Va, March g, 1901.
had all the symptoms
that accompany this disease, suoh 40
: mucus dropping In the threat, . con-
stant desire to hawk and spit, feeling
Of dryness In tho throat, cough and
splitting upon rising In the morning,
scabs forming in the nose, which re-
quired much effort to blow out, some
times causing the nose to bleed and
leaving me with o sick headache. I
had thus suffered for Ave years.
I commenced to take 3. 8. o. and
after had taken three large bottles,
noticed . change for the better.
Thus encouraged, I continued to take
it and in q short while was entirely
cured. JUDSoN A. BELLAM.
Main and Vine Sts., Richmond, Va.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-29

With so many forms of gambling to choose from. 1t Is not easy to say which particular one exercises the most pernicious effect on the growing genera ation, but if I were called upon to award the palm to any special class, it would go to the stock ganb- leIs, says a writer ia Leslie's Popular Monthly. Time was when this par tieuiar vice was restricted@as other and not more degrading forms Of vice have been--to its own particular dis trict. but of late years the stock mar ket has become a hideous octopus. with it's thousands Of tentaeies in the shape of telegraph wires running di. rect into the hearts of cities and lTils lages and private houses. Touch a bustling. wealthy manufacturing town with one of these private wires and it will not De long uatil it has drained it Of nearly all It's superluous dollars and begun to gnaw at the heart of it's invested capital. And the amazing part of the whole Business is that inc Newport millionaire. the Connecticut manufactures. the New Haninshire farmer, the woman Of society. the school teacher. the lawyer, the doctor the actor and the green grocer ara all pltalag their feeble wits against the keen and absolutely unserupulous manipulators of the market and Hat tering themselves that they ara clever enough to beat a game that Is peaee. calIy invincible.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-29
UNFORTUNATE LUCY ASHTON.

It was in the family Of Dalrympie of Stair represented by theslate earl. that the tragic events occurred on which Sir Walter Scott. founded his Bride of LanlHerrnodr Seef1 has followed the actual circumstances very closely Janet Dairy napie, daughter Of the. first Lord Stair. beeanas ensa ged, without the knowledge of Ter parants, to Lord Rutherford. Who was riot fas vored by them. On being pressed by Lady Stair to receive tho addres ses of the suitor her parents desired v David Dunbar Of Baldoorl -zsIe confessed her gageraelit But her mother pre- vailed on her to return the piece. ef gold which was the emblem uf her trothz=prettF much in the clfeuin- stances narrated by Scott. Lord Ruth erford weflt abroad, where he died In 1885. The marriage Between Janet Dalfynnple and Balloon was proceeded with afd in the bridal chamber took place the terrible eafa stvopha described fn the novel. The bri6e when found was absolutely insane. and she sur. vived her marriage only some nineteen days Balloon recovered from his wounds. but pro'sihifed all inquiries as to the way in which ha had received them
 In reference to the supposed curse pronounced on the descendants of the first Earl of Stair, unhappilJ notorious for his connection with the massacre Of Glencoe. Scottish correspondent informed us that the actual words Of the original curse are still extanf. in the words land terrifyins words they are) of a. Gaelic poem wriften by Jean Macdonald. the safe survivor. Of large family that peFished in the massacre. The last three lirss .riii1 thus: May fear and terror haunt their pillows! May their wives ever prove barren. And may thousand cures alone attend tTenar' A startling comment ii this naaiedictior1 k that the sechnd fhird. fourth. sixth. seventh and eighth Earls Of Stair all died without issue. a cir. crrasta1ice probably uni1ue Tn the afas rials Of the pearage. The family of the first the C4lencoe) earl bscame sa4 tirely extinct Iii t4O. and the succession passed to the descefa1ants Jif his next brother, Sir James Dalryniple. from whom came down, Of course, the much respected peer just deceased. -Lo london Daily Chronicle. HF
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-12-29

William James. Jr. has wr;tfsn about the spirit Of sport, with earnas+. ness and effective argument, in. ra. cent number or the Harvard Grad1i. ates' Monthly. But there are truths ,n his message, which have far wider application than the narrow field or campus competition. and seldom lbas a vital distinction been expressed more strikingly than in the following parn graph, whose lesson ranges svida 3a ont-of-t1oor rivalry of many Kinds aaoat and ashore: 'Srhe true amateur athlete, the true sportsman, is one who takes up sport for the fun Of 1t and the love of it. and to whom success or defeat is a secondary matter. so lane as the play Is good The true proYas. sional Is one who, regardless of the fun of 1t or the love Of 1t. makes it his business to succeed for his own pride and for the benefit of his packers. Of course. this is measure of degree, for rivalry Is a vital clement of sport; but 1t Is from doing the thing we'll, doing the thing handsomely, doing the thing intelligently. that one derives che pleasure which is the essence of sport Even more vital than the rivalry itself is the checking Of the aereenass and bit. terness by the graoiousness Of gentle manly feeling" Tnis goes much fur. ther into the core of the matter than the accepted code Of difference between professional and amateur spirit and observance, and 1t is the ti.uer for 1t, says writer in the Illustrated Sport Ing Journal. The gentlemen athletes Of England enjoy their sports full as much as the far more serious and ab. sorbed contestants of this country even though they do not consider it a disgrace to be fairly beaten, and are able 10 come up smiling after defeat The distinction Is made clearer when you think that Ia England young rnen row and play football because they like It. How many college oarsfhef and players of Aiaerioa endure the slavery eS tAe long training season for tne fun 1hara ia tn it2