The Minneapolis journal., 1903-03-02
Shylock Homes: His Posthumous
Memoirs.
By John KeadHek Bangs.

like to meet Van Wfnkle-that,s all. He
always seemed to me to have certain COM
panionable qualities. Good night"
And with this I walked on. The whole
structure Of Rip Van Wrinkles story had
fallen to the ground at the very first
touch-very much as his rifle was said
to have done, when, after his sleep OF
twenty years, he awoke and found the
stock crumbling beneath his hand.
There were two things to do. Look
up Rip Van Wrinkle and win his confidence
"a course that I deplore-or seek out
Deidrick knickerbocker, and ask him
frankly the sources of the information up
on which hebased hisreport of what really
happened to Rip. I decided upon the lat
ter plan, and sauntered up the street to
call upon the distinguished historian.
Arriving at hi= house, found the lights
streaming from every window and from
within came sounds Of revelry. It was
clear that some celebration, was going on
within. At the door was a caterers
wagon, and sundry supplies for immediate
use were being delivered under the super
vision Of a funkey clad in an old Dutch
costume.
what is going on here?" asked the
latter, as case Of schnapps was passed in
through the basement door.
There's a meeting of the Sons Of st.
Nicholas he answered, with a laugh.
They're having gay time of 1t"
I'm glad met you." said slipping a
gold piece in his hand. I'm reporter
Of the Gehenna Gazette. and I've been
sent here to get an account of this affair.
Can you tell me who is present."
I took out a pad and pencil and made
ready to write.
."Oh-er-Peter Stuyvesanr Mr.. An
neke JAMS wouter Van TwilIer, Tryn Van
Camp. Hendrick Kip, Jan Gerritsen, Mich
olas- Jansen, Rip Van Winkle, Anthony
| Van Corlaer, Olaf De Peyster, and
dozen others-they're in such a tumble I
| can't make 'em out. But they're in great
| form-especially that old rounder, Van
| Winkle." go
| "Aha!' thought I. Grip Van winkIe.
| eh?" It was strange that Rip should be
| celebrating the virtues Of Manhattan,
man who had presumably never been
there. ="
."What are they doing?" asked aloud.
Making after dinner speeches?"
| mot they replied the funkey It's
| the informalest gathering I ever saw.
| They're just swapping anecdotes, and
tell you, Mr.-er-''
"Jones, of the Gehenna Gazette" said I.
"Well, I tell you, Mr.. JONES' he con-
tinued. that fellow Van Wrinkle is a rip
! per. He's drained seventeen bumpers Of
schnapps, and he's out for "reminiscences
! this night. He spent twenty years in
life heard anything quite so racy as the
tales he has to tell. Why, the mere man.
ner of his getting to town was interest
i ing enough for an historical novel. He
i came down from somewhere up the river
las a stowaway 81 a lumber raft sometime
before the American revolution broke out,
with nothing but dog and musket TO
his name. Landed in the city he sold
1.-The dog a dozen times and
t ''How many times did he sell the dog?"
: demanded.
"a dozen," said the funkey. '.He'd sell
him, you see. and then walk off with the
money, trusting to old Schneider to come
back to him. On the money thus gained,
he managed to live comfortably until he
got a job OH Bowling Green, setting UP
nine pins for the select people Of the city,
, after which, in a year or two, having
| saved a little money he started a tap
, room and chop house, which he kept for
, eighteen years, disappearing as suddenly
as he came at the end Of that time
} "How very interesting said I. Il
f don't suppose you could get me inside
t there were I can hear some of their mar
velous tales
s l emphasized my remark with another
S gold piece, and in few minutes, arrayed
as an assistant waiter, I found myself in
the brilliant dining-room of DR.. Deidrick
< Knockerbocker. filling the glass of the now
loquacious Rip Van Wrinkle over and over
e again. 1 was not long in discovering that
t the funkey had not deceived me as to the
v nature of Rip Van Wrinkles "reminiscences
: They were what literary friend of mine
2 used to call ''Thrillers' and shilling
shockers,'' and as he recounted over and
= over again the lively doings of himself
n and his companions in New York of an
cient days, I must confess I found them
,. pretty strong even for my taste. which
o has not been developed on a vichy and
!, milk diet by any manner Of means. A
f more abandoned old wretch could not bt
u found in month Of Sundays in that mod
~ ern Babylon they call New York, and as
for the wit of his narrations that was
r |attested to by the shrieks Of laughter tha
e followed close upon his periods, which
n twice attracted the attention Of the polio,
patrolling without.
J. 'It was warm old town in those days,
= Van Wrinkle cried, as he finished UP
tale which have not the courage to pu
J. upon paper. THE bottomless pit up tn,
river is an ice box alongside of dear oil
! New York when Deidrick and I were Gro
:, MES"
~ You kept a famous tavern, Rip" tn,
~ doctor answered .'Such things to eat
,s such thinks to drink, and what compa
- ny! Do you remember the night whel
; William Van Gheel and Teunis Fyn an,
you and I were landed in the old Suga
House Jail for painting the nose of Georg
# Thirds statue red, white and blue? 9
-, those days, those days! And
~ Sunday afternoons on the Battery, eli
~ =, Deidrick. when little Peggy Tienhoven an
- - her cousin, Margaret Carstessen. We're i
~ their prime?" Rip returned. And tn
~ =; picnic out on Bedloes Island. when W
;, stole and wore the uniforms of the tw
-. British officers who were sleeping off thei
~ night before at the taproom? o. what flu
~ we had that day! I dream of it yet
IL never flirted so in my life before"
IL Its a good thing your wife neve
-, - learned of those days, Rip" said the doc
ho tor, solemnly. There'd have been tn
al deuce to pay.
'u tI have to thank you for that, sir" Ri
:. answered. eff it hadn't been for that viii
) tale of the Kaaterskllls you got up &c
:: me to tell when 1 got home. I'm afrai
80 m there'd have been a peck of trouble fe
~, your Uncle Rip"
tii tii Long before the clock struck
y had enough evidence from b
- own lips, to convict Rip Van Win
ne kle, not only of desertion, but of
= number of others of the most selet
-, crimes in the calendar But it served m
-, s,p cause not at 1ll. fer it so happened ths
o' there where can hear some of their MOI
-, the party had reached such bounds ths
in nothing would do. but that the hunke
and should join in the revelry and aftt
IN absorbing delicious iulep. handed me
mn Rip himself, found myself one of circ
I'D of dancing roysterers, tripping hand
tsN hand around the table. and singing. "Hel
nj, We Go Round the Mulberry Bush" in tone
<.k fr