The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-08-28
SPARKS.
Hanninass al Hiawatha.


in the morning Hiawatha
( sed TO get up bright and early
That is. IL nc felt like getting
Up on mornings bright and early.
II he felt the need OF slumber.
II he felt the least reluctance
To arise, he simply lay there,
Lay there on his skin of buffalo,
Itll le just got good and ready.
Not for him the cheap alarm clock
Noisy sounding on the manteli
Not for him the chilly bathtub.
Not FOR him the planted razor
Tearing out his beard and paiuing
All his face and causing language
Not for him the deadly health food,
Not for him the breakfast SaWdust.
Not foT him the notified coffee.
Nor the blackcned wheaton pancake.
Not for him the early trolley.
Nor the sprint for the suburban.
He arose when he was tired
OF reclining on his skin bed.
Not for him the grisly terrors
OF the crime OF over sleeping
When he rose he simply reached up
To "A thong Of twisted huCkSkin
Which suspended from The lodge pole
Dark brown strips of smoke-dried deer
meat.
Or perchance. a hunk of bear meat.
Or a side Of blackened salmon
That he'd caught the previous season,
Or that faithful Minnehaha
Had caught for her lord and master.
And the mighty HiaWatha
Knew not what mems Indigestion,
Never felt pain terrific
In his VcrmitoTm appendix.
Never had "a stomach trouble,
Never bad 10 call a doctor.
Never had TO take a tonic.
Happy. happy Hiawathai
What the mighty Hiawatha
Never knew quite failed TO hurt him
With Senator Kearns a guest OF Sir
Thomas Upton on The Erin and Sen
atOr SmoOt a member of committee
to assist in the propag cation of the sock
eve salmon in British Columbia, Utahns
arc all swelled up these days by the
knowledge that the Utah senators are
already both great international fig
ures.
1t is gratifying to learn that the city
water has caught the ideal municipal
spirit and is doing all il can to pro-
mote the public welfare by keeping free
from disease germs.
frequently we do not dream how
mean some men are until their wives
file divorce complaints.
It is to be regretted that Turkey
does not make an international break
that would give some big. husky Chris
tan nation an excuse to wipe the sui
tan's race off the earth.
Sir Thomas Upton has spent mil
lion dollars or so to land the cup ans
thus far has achieved a resolution OF
thanks, nicely engrossed, from those
who were guests OH the Erin during
the race.
That is a wise Old Chicago million.
aire who divided hale his wealth among
his relatives the other day 10 see whar
they would do with it. After watching
their movement for time he vii
know what TO do with the rest. Fur
thermOre. he saves nalf the inheritance
tax.
From the manner in which the Eng
lishman, Whitaker Wright Is said 4
have juggled accounts and sold mil
lions Of dollars worth of stock i'm no
air companies. one might think he wert
an American of certain well-knowI
type.
Kids who try to wreck loaded excur
sion trains. whether they try it "jus
for fun" or not. should he put wher,
their ideas of fun arc not likely to re
suit in killing people.
The difference between the bulIetin
Of the yacht race AS reported by tn
Marconi and the anti Msrconi wireless
telegraph companies eppears to be tina
The opposition to Marconi delivere,
fake reports. While the Marconi sys
tenn delivered none at all.
That Reno sheriff makes mistak
/ in refusing to let any one see the Fol
! som convicts he has captured. r
| might make A good little bit Of sid
money by charging. g small fee for tn
privilege of seeing The man who sacri
| need his liberty and probably his lif
/ to his desire to get rid Of a beard.
Inc natives Of China we know ar
/ not generally of sucn a character tina
/ we feel enthusiastic over the proposi
| tlon 10 help China lick Russia.
When American he:resses secure II
/ tied husbands through marriage bro
/ kers IL would seem their first wifel
duty should be to train their husband
/ not 10 talk about the deal.