Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-09-26
PRIVATE JONES'
CHEATING *
BY LEO era NE
Copyright, 1908, by T. C. Mcclure

Z HIuuS d SHOVEL Oh Tue UIOOIuAu Ildup
Koolah until his mouth got him inter
serious trouble affairs by recklessly
slippin'' lurid names toward the chief
engineer O. course we men knew e
didn't mean anythink outer the way by
the langwidge, but the chief engineer
was vicious man, an e allowed his
turrible anger to become uncontrolled.
$50 we men laid Jones away in the
free ward O. leetle horspital that half
hid itself shylike behind row O. scrag-
gy palms. Then we men went off on a
boot, eight O. us. Seven got back to the
ship in time to sail with her. The
deserted amid a multichude O. coolies.
Hi was that man.
can, being as Hi wouldn't shift car
go fer livin' wage, Hi presented me-
self, body an soul, to recruitin' off,
Ger who was out after one devil called
Juan Torres. This same Juan Torres
was up country some'res hidin', an e
didn't have no idear O. bein' ketched;
hence it needed men, an Hi was man.
Nov, on the mornin' afore we
marched away who in all the worP O.
rascals should heave in sight but Jones.
e had a rag about his head, an e
wanted to list Now, Hi had never ex-
pected to see Jones again in this worp
an, bein' pious inclined, didn't want to
meet him in the next. Hi always
watched my terbacker when e was
about Sam Rawlins had tOp me o
that, an Sam Rawlins had lost ter
hacker.
well, they needed men, an Jones
was one, so e went along. e top me
that the doctors at the leetle horspital
had been very confident that e would
die, but in spite O. it e fooled ''em.
Anyway, up country we goes after
Juan Torres, an the first beastly town
we gets inter down goes Jones with the
fever. The doctor O. the regiment said
e would die certain, but Jones didn't.
e scraped through, s'elp me if e didn't.
Two weeks after e began to creep
about the camp mule kicks him reg
lar smasher in the side, an away to the
leetle horspital they carries him to
mend up.
Hi didn't see Jones no more for near
a half year; neither did Hi see Juan
Torres. One day when we thought we
had 'em spotted at last inter camp e
walks, smilin' grimly. e goes to the
colonel an says, Hill show We just
where they are,' says e. An in ten
Iiy,,
the way.
"'How have We been? asks the colo
mel, leggin' it 'longside O. Jones.
every WE'LL says Jones back to him,
pleasant-like. Hi amt been outer the
horspital more n ten days.
"'Gunsv cries the colonel. Did it
take 'em all that time to patch up
three broken RIBS?
"'No,' explains Jones. They fixed
up them ribs in six weeks, but after Hi
got discharged from that spell Hi went
inter town on leetle smootch arouns,
We know, an some William knifes me.
In fact, e knitted me two or three times
afore e was satisfied with his contract,
an so they bustles me back to the lee
tie horspital without any great loss O.
time. That were four month job, but
they did it, an nary a grumble. oh,
this gettin' we'll is my long suit says
Jones, proud-like. What troubles me
most says Jones solemnly, is that
maybe when the blow comes again
Hill be too far up country an won't
reach the horspital in time, but Hi
hopes not
why, you must like bein' SICK says
the colonel, s'prised.
est amt the bein' SICK says Jones;
that's nasty. But the soup-my, the
soup! Deliciousv says Jones, smackin'
his lips IS if e could taste it. Hive
been in forty-two hospitals in my
time an have been discharged cured
nigh on to sixty-seven times, SO Hi
know
'Sixty-seven times echoed the colo
mel.
"'Return visits explained Jones
quickly. But Hi don't despair O. bet
term that record, cause Hi knows my
vitality an what Hi can stand
con we men went silently. The re-
ports III tell We how we cornered them
rats in the center O. thick forest, but
the reports won't tell We how one Jones
carried fire an sword into the habita-
ton O. Juan Torres.
ut stood in a clearin'. Jones beat us
to the Enclosure by good twenty feet,
an Jones was first to show his leg over
the top. Some native Teller punched a
bayonet through the calf O. it, but that
native teller troubled no other man.
Jones fought like demon, an we lost
him in the smoke O. battle.
Late in the day, when the struggle
had ceased an the smell O. rank pow
der was beginnin' to sieve away
through the forest, we started to hunt
up our men. We found Jones lynn
acrost a pile O. severely used natives
over again a secluded portion o. the
stockade. There he had cornered six
desperate men, an the sight O his
handiwork was exceedin' fair to look
upon. We carried Jones tenderly away.
The doc % looked at him an saws doc