The Wichita daily eagle., 1903-07-19


Pleasant Gay, isn't itr
=" 'Umph-yes.'
Then drummer said: Crops look fine. they'
guess we'u have good
BY this the travelling annoyed and
asked: W hat line are you in anyway?
Irritated this continued opportunities. replied:
Brain
Well said the drummer. you carry mighty poor
sample case
gg ga
a man who New York the Fourth Of July
us OF experience that gave his
wrench a in the street bearing q
tall his knee and of proportionate grth
He the the roadway and begin prepars
tons for lighting this enormous explosive The operator
wildly waved for stop and pedestrians keep
'oack. There respect for the warning. Street
traffic stayed and impatient and nervous and indg
people began emphatic things about the reck
of the pending explosion But the ceebrator
nothing minded calmly proceeded consumuate
his deviltry In time the match applied. the man
rushed back and little ordinary Chinese nrecracker.
tucked the top big dummy and projected
into the hush its funny little noise. II was
terrible antclimax.
y young from the northern part of the state
who recently visited his wedding trip had
an unpleasant experience which convinced him that the
metropolitan police energetic least II tour
Central The bridegroom had bad cold. While
park the hour for his medicine around. He
himself took his bottle of Sullivan county
cough windward side of the obelisk He
had just raised the bottle his lips when stout police
up and knocked the bottle TO the pavement
I've been watchin youse for some time said the
cop. you Sc can't drink no dope my beat"
young insisted that he had intention Of
committing suicide and finally the policeman consented to
He his finger in the dark pool
on pavement tasted the deadly mixture The in
gradients unmstakable and he let the victim
The proud father OF a ten-year-od Brooklyn school
girl learning his daughter had written compost
ton in a prize her school. asked 10 her
work He read and decided that wasn't good
enough. So a substitute. The child took it
school, meaning to hand it in as her own work But
got school and read her fathers efusion.
she decided she liked her better and turned
that gave the piece her father had written
another girl the girl held it under her
name fifteen prizes for the best fifteen
positions out of a The girl who liked her
work better than her fathers got the first prize The
fathers work not even mentioned in the contest
x
In Palmerston is said to have prophesied:
Before the century these pretty
York will pull the strings in half the chan
ceries of Europe"
xgE q gg
1t is said that once when District Attorney Jerome
very small boy, he and his father into New
York to ride uptown. 1t was crowded. but the
elder found seat. whereupon he taking
upon his knee young Travers Presently stop
ped and a handsomely dressed got in. Nobody
having out, there seat and nobody offered
make room Finally. the elder Jerome
became great, and looking provokngy at Travers
he said: 'rravers. why don't get and give the
lady your seat?"
x x
\ suburban Philadelphia banker tells with great
isacon story that illustrates well the almost incred-
ibe-prowess eggayng of his hens. Some time ago
he says egg left for in the place
where my hens This nest the other day hatched
l lonely chick. which several dozen
for. Here Is the explanation OF this mir
acle. Ny steauy layers that would
sooner get off the having deposited fresh
beside it, than another would slip on and in her turn
lay. Thus by different mothers the solitary
egg was Matched. Though hen sat 'clooked
on it. nevertheless always kept and in due
time there stepped forth from 1t lonely but vigorous
little chick.
ZEE sg
4 story is told Of an attempt made by Swedish mis-
sionarv to obtain foothod in Abyssnia sooner had
he begun to preach that he was brought King
Menelek who why he had left his home in
Scandinavia order to Abyssinia The mission
airy promptly replied that he had come to convert the
Abyssnian Jews who regarded fair for the
outside propaganda there Jews in coun-
try?' asked Menelek The missionary admitted that
there were a few And in all the countries that you
have passed did md Jews or heathens2
the King continued and heathens the missionary
admitted plentiful Then said Meneek carry
this man beyond frontier and let him not return
until he converted all the Jews and heather which
lie between his country mine
K
something seems wrong here said the hotel man
"Al the small haven't you made the walls
too thick?'
Not at all replied the wise builder Of the
shore hotel "Of course OF your guests viii be
women and you please them"
.Tsut they don't like small rooms"
observe. Every has twelve large closets
johnny said the SUNDAY school teacher. you should
not make fun OF Deacon Goodwius bald head You may
bald day.
We'll" reponed the precocous Johnny. i don't coTet
Deacon Cioodvin's bald head his servant. nor
his maid servant nor OK his niue nor anything
that IS his
..Oh mamma" exclalncd little miss u three. az
she came running The house with look of inosna-
tfo- on her face I 20 whip Kat old hen
why do you want her whippeiT' asked her mother
Toz she won't her chickens Was fhs
rep1y she dest Iftea W dzess zay wuHse1 Tte
under"
.f3ohty~ said The mother u a precocioas hre-ysar-
old Il see vour tte sister bss ire snail apple Dia
YOU let her have her choice told yoa toe
-.Yesna.~ replied Bobby y tod her she could have
the small one or nona. ard she took The small one
a little Cuumnzvfne girl vas standing ~ ths 7ia-
5oz one 6ay a. dray a hi1es vent -, az1 r1a
ming into The next rhe exclaimed. On MAMMA