davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-21

''Tried to skin me, that scribbier did,
what did he wantY'
Wanted to get out a book jointly, hC
TO write the book and / to write the ad
vertisements. | turned him down.
wasn't going to do ali the literary work :.
Baltimore News.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-21

Brggs-Do you suppose Turkey will
rule Russia, as some OF those famous
diplomats predict?
GigGs-I don't know Turkey will rule
America on Thanksgiving day, though
YODkers Herald.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-21

Warmed Over.
1t comes as hash. it comes AS stew:
It's stay Is still deferred.
For days 10 come no doubt we'll view
That same Thanksgiving bird
Washington Star.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-21

Nellie--Oh, these hard words! Pa.
what is an antithesis? Pa-It is the con
trast of extremes; for instance, your
mother has put the God Bless Our
Home" motto right over the piano.-Bos-
ton Transcript
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-21

She-My sister is coming out next
week
He-How long was she sent up for ?
Cornell Widow.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-21

Soiled Spooncr-C arYm' Taaksgivin'
turkeys for lonely wi'joWE. Buffalo
Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-21

mo" said Patrick, Il do not like spin
mage. and, what's more, Inl glad / do
not like spinnaee; fer if | liked spinnage
I'd be etin' II all the time, and Ia hate
to have 20 ate anything ! djsliked 50
much as I dislike spinnage. Pennsyi
wanna Punch Bowl.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-21

Two months ago he was worth Il mil
lion" In rain checks or street car
transfers" mo, in stocks Same
thing. cleveland Plain Dealer
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-21
Quick Results.

W. ]. Hill, Justice
of the Peace,
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-21

Fond PARENT understand the faculty
are very much pleased with your work
Dropped Junior-Yes, they encored mr
sophomore year.-PrincetoR Tiger.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-21

The Problem Confused.
Mary had 4 little lamb,
She called Il Mary Ann,
But
The butcher called K mutton,
WNew,tl
How old wac Mary's Ann?
Rome tGa) Tribune
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-11-21

Diner-Waiter, there is n slight mis-
take | ordered n spring chicken and Il
bottle Of 1884 Pommery.
Waiter-Yes. sir.
Diner-You have brought me some
Pommery Of last spring and chicken OF
1SS4-Christ.aR Register.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
BUTTONS ARE NOT NEEDED.
An Eastern Girl Finds Advantages in
Ribbons as Fasteners for
Her Shirtwafst.

Buttons are without a place in the
economy of the fair sex. Not one wom-
an in a hundred knows what to do with
them except as ornaments for a gar
ment. They are usually plastered in
discriminatory up and down, around
and across a jacket, a gown or a shirt
waist without regard to their proper
functions, and are regarded by the sex
as very much of a nuisance.
An eastern girl who has brains and
puts them to practical use has, accord
ing to a fashion exchange, invented an
effective shirtwaist set for herself. In
stead of the hand-painted buttons or
the large pearl ones that have been
worn, this girl has used ribbon as a
substitute. Small rosettes formed of
narrow ribbons are used to fasten the
blouse down the front and the cuffs
are tied with bows of the ribbon having
two short loops and two long ends. At
the tip of each end is another small ro-
settle the same as those used down the
front of the waist. A plain stock of the
material used in the shirtwaist has a
band of the ribbon around the lower
edge and in front two three-inchlengths
depend with small rosettes at the end Of
each. The advantage of using ribbon
for shirtwaist sets lies in the fact that
they are inexpensive and the girl who is
not blessed with a large income to
spend solely on ornaments for herself
may have several sets without feeling
that she is extraYagant.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
Mississippi Weather.

From the agricultural bureau for
the department of Mississippi the
following summary of crop and
weather conditions for the week end
ed July 21 has been issued:
The mean daily temperature
ranged from 2 to 6 degrees below
normal the first part of the week and
slightly above normal the latter part.
Practically no rain fell in the north
ern and middle parts of the State
and only light showers in the south
ern part.
The warm, dry weather has been
very favorable for the cultivation
and cleaning of all crops, but where
the rainfall was light last week the
need of more moisture is very much
felt. Cotton, although still almost
three weeks late, is growing fast and
looks healthy. The plant is now
taking on squares and blooms rapid
lv. except in some sections where the
stalk is growing so fast that 1t inter-
feres somewhat with blooming. In
the southern part much cotton has
been laid by; in the northern part
considerable is being cultivated for
the last time. Old corn is practi-
cally made in all parts of the State
and is the best in wears. Young
corn is promising, but begins to need
rain. Sugar cane and potatoes are
doing well. Gardens need rain in
some sections, but are good where
there is sufficient moisture. Con
siderable hay has been saved in good
shape. Pastures are improving in
the southern part. Apples and
peaches are scarce in the northern
part, and in places there is COM
plant of rotting.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
WaIthaIi's Brigade Roster.

E. A. Smith, chaplain and regis
trar of Gen. Walthall's brigade, who
was appointed at the recent reunion
in New Orleans to make a complete
roster of the members of the brigade
now living, reports that rather slow
progress is being made with the
work, and he again urges all living
members to send their names to him
at Brewton, Ala.
Mr.. Smith states that he has en-
rolled 5S4 names. He has no re-
ports from Companies d and G of
the Twenty-fourth Mississippi, and
none, or nearly none, from Compa-
MES B, C, F, H, X and L of the
Twenty-seventh Mississippi. Very
few names have been reported from
Companies f, f and G of the Twen-
ty-ninth, and none from Companies
E, F and G of the Thirtieth. But
very few names have been sent in
from Companies A, B, D and F of
the Thirty-fourth regiment.
Without a more active co-opera-
ton Mr.. Smith cannot make his
work complete, and it is urged that
living comrades send their names
immediately.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
R ARGUMENT.
Made an Epigram and Won
His Case.

A lawyer up at the Tilden club the
other night, says the New York Sun, was
discussing recent utterances of Mr.. wat
terson as to the nomination OF Mr..
Cleveland. Having disapproved OF the
Kentucky editors opinion, he said, as
he ordered up two more of the
Il don't know whether Mr.. Waiter
son put his remark in quotation marks
or not, but if he didn't he plagiarized
or came very near it. The opinion at
tributed to Mr.. Watterson is: He
fCleveland) has no more chance OF a
democratic nomination for the presi-
dency than a cat in hades minus both
a fan and a tail, not to mention claws.
THE original expression is, No more
chance than a cat without claws wou
have in hell The author OF h ex-
preston was Emory Storrs, who was the
lion of the bar of Illinois.
"Mr. Storrs was addressing a jury In
a celebrated case. Opposing counsel a
said. in closing his address: My learned
friend who will follow me will undertake
to make you believe that my client has
no chance in this case. warn you
against his sophistry.'
"Storrs got up and made the shortest
speech that was ever made to a jury. He
said:
MAY 1t please the court, and you,
gentlemen of the jury, the plaintiff In
this case has no more chance than a
cat without claws would have in hell.
"And then he sat down. The jury re-
turned in less than ten minutes. The
Judge, who was a good deal OF a wit,
and consequently liked a joke, asked
when the jury came in:
Gentlemen, have you agreed upon
a verdict?"
The foreman replied: 1--WE have, your
honor
"'Has the plaintiff any chance" asked
the court.
I'm a moment the courtroom was In
a roar, and the bailif was splitting the
desk with his gavel. The judge, how
ever, made no correction in his inquiry,
and the plaintiffs counsel, who was no
other than Leonard SWEET, enjoyed the
situation to such an extent that he for
got to make the usual motion, and the
clerks entry in the case stands to this
day. as he wrote It.: The jury finds in
this case that the plaintiff had no more
chance than a cat without claws would
have in hell"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
FIELD PLANTS.
How to MIKE Simple Green Things
of Wood and Roadside Flour
ish In Your Garden.

Women who live In the country or
suburbs have no idea what a pretty
centerpieces they might make for the
table from the simple green things that
grow in the woods and by the roadside.
Select a glass dish or pan, advises the
New York Tribune, which may after
ward be covered with green paper, and
with a knife or trowel dig up clusters
of short stemmed, graceful vinelike
plants, being sure to retain consider
able earth about the roots, and place
a row of these around the edges of the
centerpiece. Fill in che center with
contrasting foliage, selecting some OF
the many small plants which never
grow tall. Finish with some of the wa
ter plants and grasses from low spots
and drains, and those who have trod-
den these simple plents underfoot will
be amazed at the results. The plants
will keep green and fresh indefinitely
if moistened daily.
No one need be told that ferns from
the roadside and woods will remain
lovely for months if taken up in a lit
tie of their own earth and placed in
the house. The broad, thin-leafed fern
S the least hardy when so treated,
Maidenhair ferns will not grow for
some people, but all the other varieties
are as satisfactory as they are lovely,
and will flourish anywhere If only wa
tered frequently. One woman, who
loves green things, fills tin boxes and
cans with ferns and cover the holders
with green cloth, paper or bark. She
gathers ferns upon every summer out
ing, and so not only has greenhouse
decorations for the long, hot days OF
summer, but provides abundant lowell
ness for winter days.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
Corinth Firm Suffers.

Charles Eastman seems to be ex-
tending his operations northward, a
firm of Corinth furniture dealers be-
ing his latest victims. Eastman
bought $3.50 worth of furniture,
paying in a check drawn by A.. b.
Waring for one hundred and sixty
four dollars on the Mississippi Bank
and Trust Company, of Jackson.
The balance of the check, amounting
to fourteen dollars, was paid him in
money by the dealer, who soon after
suspected something wrong, tele-
graphed the bank and found they
did not know any one by that name.
The party was a German, and
claimed to be a railroad man and
had rented a house. He made good
his escape. He is abount five feet
ten inches high; weight one hundred
pounds, dressed like a laborer, pretty
gray, clean shaven and a little
stopped.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
LOSING ARRANGEMENT.
NefghbOr Nabber Was Reluctant
About Compromising with the
Man from Whom He Stole.

Farmer Goodman suffered repeated
losses from his hog yard, and, after a
good deal of patient watching, discov-
cred that his neighbor, Mr.. Nabber, was
the thief.
Being an exceedingly good-natured
man, says the Boston Globe, Mr.. Good
man called on his neighbor, and said
to him:
'Neighbor Nabber, l have positive
proof that. you have been-er-um-
well, rather careless in relation to my
hogs. My losses in consequence have
been much greater than can afford. |
would like to make a compromise with
you, and not compromise you by going
to law. I'll give you 500 pounds of
pork every year if you will pledge me
not to-er-that is-not to be guilty of
any further contributory negligence in
connection with my hog yard"
But Nabber declined to make any
amicable arrangements; in fact, he
pretended to be offended by Mr.. Good
mans allegations. Conditions soon be-
came even worse, and good Mr.. Good
man was driven to a heroic measure.
He had his neighbor, Mr.. Nabber, in
dicted for hog stealing.
On the witness stand he told all
about his offer of compromise, and
said:
81 am willing t o renew it right now.
If the judge will give his consent to
the arrangement, and the prisoner will
agree not to modest my hogs any more,
I'll give him 500 pounds of pork every
year, and let this case be dismissed.
"Well. prisoner, what have you to
say to that" asked the judge.
After some moments of reflection,
with eyes ioorward, the prisoner raised
his head and made reply:
Wal. jedge. l reckon I'll have to
accent the propositions, under all of
the circumstances; but I'm satisfied l
shall lose a right smart of money
by it."
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
Mississippi State News
Increased Dividends.

State Auditor Cole has prepared
some additional comparative figures
to the bank statement published last
week which are quite interesting,
July 5, 1902, the number of State
banks in Mississippi was ninety
three, as compared with 104 June
80 of this year, an increase of eleven
for the year.
The average dividend declared
last year was 1920 per cent, against
14.17 per cent. this year, an increase
of nearly 2 per cent. This showing
is regarded as nothing short of re-
markable. The number of deposit
ors last year was 52,736, as COM
pared with $500 this year, an
increase of 1874.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
E VEGETABLES.
Are Chiefly Valuable in the summss
Menu for the Mineral Salts
which They Contain.

Green vegetables are chiefly valuable
for the mineral salts which they on
tain. As these salts are somewhat solu-
BILE in water, they should be cooked no
longer than necessary. Right here,
says the Albany Argus, is shown the
advantage of using the green salad in
which the food valuable of the vegeta-
BILE is secured, in addition to the oil
and acid.
Because of the mineral matter in po-
tatoes, they are classed among the val
liable vegetable foods. 1t should be re-
| membered, however, that since soak
ing pared potatoes in cold water not
only removes part of the starch, but
wastes a large portion of the small
amount of protein in the potato, cook
ing in boiling water with their skins or
jackets on is the least wasteful.
The list of good greens is now a long
one, as the market shows an abundance
| of spinach, asparagus, beet greens, a r
| rots. onions. etc. The delicacy of the
| dandelion greens is past. All greens
should be very thoroughly washed in
several waters to remove grit.
Delicate beet green's, like spinach, are
| spoiled by being cooked in too much
water. A cupful OF water for half a
peck of greens is sufficient, unless they
are not drained when put in the sauce
a when there will be. water enough
to steam them. Cook Is minutes, Sea-
- -u:sL ala o-l nannar md droin in
a colander. Turn into a chopping bowl
and chop very fine. Put the chopped
greens in a spider with two tablespoons
of butter, and more seasoning If re-
quired, and stir over the fire until heat
| ed through. Cut squares of bread and
fry in butter. Pile the hot spinach on
them and garnish each one with a slice
| of a hard-boiled egg.
Another method of dressing spinach
is thus: When the spinach is cooked
and chopped, put in a saucepan two Ia
teaspoons butter and one of -four; mix
we'll and when cooked, but not
Drowned, add the prepared spinach,
with salt and pepper. Stir together
and when heated, add half a cup of rich
cream and stir five minutes. Serve on
| toast. The seasoning may be varied by
adding a little nutmeg or using white
stock instead of cream.
The German mode of cooking greens
is with ham. Cut one-half pound ham
in small pieces and fry quickly with
one tablespoon onion juice, and two OF
vinegar. Stir two well beaten eggs into
a sup of milk, and add to the ham mix
ture. Meanwhile have a half peck OF
grens prepared, and stir in the cream
| and ham sauce. 1t takes but a moment
to heat the greens and cook the eggs.
Serve at once.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
Bio Timber Purchase.

Russo & Burgess, one of the larg-
est hardwood timber concerns in
Memphis, Tenn, have closed a deal
for several thousand acres of Missis-
sippi virgin forest through the land
department of the Yazoo & Missis-
sippi Valley railroad. The tract is
located in the counties of Quitman
and Tunica. 1t is not the intention
of the purchasers to put in any mills
on the land, but to ship the timber
to their plant in Memphis.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
Eound a

Valley City, n. Oak. July 27th:-Mrs.
Matilda NJ. Boucher OF this place tells how
she found a friend in the following words:
"For years | suffered with a dizziness IN
my head and could get nothing to cure me
TO AXE Dodd's Kidney Pills. These pills
cured me before l had used the whole of the
first box. and / haven't been troubled since
I'm January of this year / had an attack
OF Sciatica that made me almost helpless,
and remembering how. much Dodds hid,
ney Pills had done for me before, l sent and
got some and began to take them at once.
IN three weeks | was well. and not q
trace of the Seiatica left, and / have been
well ever since.
'Dodd's Kidney Pills have certainly been
of great benefit to me. | have found them
a friend in time Of sickness. and | will al
WAYS recommend them to every one suffer.
ing with the troubles that bothered me"
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
cIark.daIe as ! BATHING Resort.

Since the advent of the torrid
weather all of Clarksdale's citizens
seem to have been seized with a de-
sire to turn the town into a bathing
resort, and with this end in view
have constructed two pavilions at
Mackey's Lake, a charming little
body of water some three miles dis
tant from the city, where during
the hot afternoons a score or more
of people may be see disporting
themselves in the cool and refresh
ing waves.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
Marvellous Showing.

The statement just issued of the
new postoffee substation established
in Jackson makes a most marvellous
showing and speaks volumes for the
extraordinary increase of business in
that town. The total number Of
money orders issued by the station
for the year is 5000, against only
7,410 for the main office up town.
The total of the two offices is 1912
for the year, against 5000 for the
previous year, or a gain of over five
thousand in the twelve months. The
new substation has exceeded the bus
mess of any station south of the
Ohio river. Its business is over a
thousand ahead of any station IN
New Orleans.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
They Plead Guilty in Kinds.

In the Circuit Court at Raymond
last week Tom Williams pleaded
guilty to murder and was sentenced
to the penitentiary for life. ALI
Harris, Wash Smith, ALI Gibson and
Will Taylor pleaded guilty to unlaw-
full retailing and each was fined $50
and costs. Will Vickers pleaded
guilty to carrying concealed weapons
and was fined $50 and costs.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
The GreenviiIe Elks.

There was much rejoicing last
week among the G~reenville Elks
over the Geographic advices from
Baltimore that the Greenville Got
ton Pickers" had captured the first
prize for oldest appearance in the
grand parade, and was given the
$500 loving cup. This is the second
time that the "Cotton Pickers" have
captured the prize, and this year
they went to Baltimore with a splen-
did equipment.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
Mysterious Death.

The lifeless body of Edward Mich
OILS, a young planter Of Sicily Island,
about thirty miles from Natchez, was
found in a lake back of his house,
last week, with his throat cut.
Whether or not it vas suicide or
murder is a mooted question. He
leaves a wife and one child.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
Shrewd CounterfeIter.

During the past several days a
number of Meridian citizens have
been vietimized by a shrewd coun-
terfeiter, whose speciality is chang
ing scent pieces into SIS gold coins
with a superior quality of gold var
nish. The nickels used are of that
class coined by the government with
out the word cents" thereon. The
police are actively engaged on the
case and have secured a clew that
will probably lead to the capture of
the counterfeiter.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
More Talk of Railroad.

The matter of building a line of
railroad through Coahoma county to
connect Clarksdale with Stovall
and Friars Point is again being ag-
itated. The friends of the project
claim that it would reduce existing
freight rates about 80 per cent. and
that the amount saved Clarksdale
merchants alone in reduced freight
bills would pay for the road in five
years time, to say nothing of the
benefits the other towns on the line
| would enioy.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30

Wash half a dozen fine large toma-
toes; cut off the tops carefully, and
scoop out a spoonful of the pulp, Fill
the cavities with a mixture of mashed
squash, bread crumbs, seasoning. and
the well beaten yolk of an egg. Put a
little DIT of butter on top of each, cover
with the tomato tops. and bake slowly
for half an hour.-Farm and Home.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
Snow tumble.

From Washington comes word of a
new connection in the line of refresh
ment for the summer girl. Snow jum-
ble' is the name given by onc soda
water man and "potpourri glace" by
another. Into a tall glass is put a
spoonful of ice cream, then a layer OF
pineapple, another spoonful of ice
cream, half a dozen maraschino cher
ries, a little strawberry juice, and to
crown all a generous mound of whipped
cream. This combination is voted de-
licious by those who have tried it
BROOKLYN Eagle.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
co, Tired ~ the Gun.

A Clay county man, says the Piatseburs
Democrat-Lever, took hi. pastor out hunt
ing one day. they had but one gun be-
tween them and the preacher carried It.
After they had been ont half an hour the
man feIt something pok!ng him 10 the slce.
Turning around quickly ne ieuna the
rr,n and fumbliIg over the hammers Say,
brother" asked The minister. how do you
l., these things DOWN. The man has
sworn off taking preachers h~unting.-han-
sas CITY Star.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
Furniture for Capitol.

All of the shipments Of steel fur,
niture for the new capital has ar
rived at Jackson and the commits
sion has wired to the factory to send
men at once to put the furniture in
place. The wood furniture ordered
is expected to arrive shortly. AS
o as this furniture is in place the
departments will commence to move
into their new quarters. This will
be, perhaps, in October.
Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-07-30
Railroad Reports.

Secretary John A. Webb OF the
Mississippi railroad commission last
week sent out to the various railroads
operating in the State the blanks ON
which to make their annual reports
to the commission. These blanks are
furnished by the interstate COM
merce commission and they call for
a vast fund of information covering
the operation of the various rail-
way lines for the fiscal period ending
June 80.