davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15
Copyright, 1903, by Robert Howard
 RuSSell)
By GEORGE ADE.

RusSell.)
 Once there lived in a Jim Crow Town glowing Intellect who was Posted on all the Issues of the Day.
 Some one had to keep Cases on the Government and prevent the whole Outfit from getting out of Kelter and so the Job fell to Mordecai F. Quinsy. MT. Quinsy found that he could give his Time to regulating the Washington Game, because his Wife did Sewing and his Daughter was an Expert Stenogra- pher. Between them they kept him SUD- piled with good scent Segars and re- lieved his Mind of all Business Cares.
 He had nothing to worry him except affairs of State
 When he tackled a large Internation- al Problem he could do so with a keen active Brain that had not been faggea out by any cheap Exertion, such as try ing to locate the Winters Supply O. Coal.
 MT. Quinsy had the solemn Phiz of . professional Pall-Bearer and much medit2t tion had corrugated the Fron, Of the Dome. Those who merely caught one Flash of him and never looked up his Record and checked off his Pedigree
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15
 MESA

The Mormon conference convenes this morning at 10 a. m. at the taber- nacle and continues in session Sunday and Monday, holding at 10 a. m. and p. m. respectively.
 A. A. Fisher of Flagstaff special agent Of the Equitable Life Insurance | company, came in last night. He re- ports plenty of snow at Flagstaff this winter and the people feeling jubilan, over the breaking of the drought.
 This forenoon Mrs. James Johnson of Lehi drove to Mesa, and while near the Mrs. Ullman residence on East Main street her horse became frightened at M. c. Phelps on his bicycle carrying some white canvass and ran against a tree in the front yard. Mrs. Johnson was thrown out quite violently, her wrist was badly sprained and it was feared fer a time that she was seri- ously hurt. She had several fainting spells and Dr. Draneswas called. He found no serious injiqEes.
 About the same time Mrs. John Cole man, Mrs. Maude Mckenzie and her baby were driving in a buggy when the horse became frightened and ran throwing the three of them to the ground. They were badly shaken up and bruised somewhat, but Dr. Drane said there were no serious injuries so far as could be determined. Mrs. Cole man received the worst injuries.
 About noon a boy was reported to have been thrown from buggy in tho west end of town, but we could learn TO particulars only that he was not very badly hurt.
 There were about forty ladies and gentlemen at the Woodman social he'd at their hall last night, and, as was to have been expected, it was one of the most enjoyable social events of the sea = son. There was no attempt at speech making, and the entire evening was de- voted to visiting, games and supper. The supper is worthy of special meli- tion. Oysters were served Tn stew or raw as desired-big, toothsome bivalves fit for the banquet of any sovereign American. Then followed sandwiches, pickles and coffee. And the Woodmen, with their axes with which they do neither chopping CT knocking, attacked the menu and stayed with it from start to finish. "Pa'' Newell sat at the head of the table and no one was allowed to quit eating until he gave the signal
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15
The Abandonment of Ft. Grant.

The Solomonville Bulletin complains that the partial abandonment of Fort Grant is a serious blow to the farmers of the Gila Valley. For many years # has been the main market for our hay crop. and the price set at the fort has always been the standard by which prices have been governed when send ing hay on the outside. The consump- tion of hay at Grant is enormous. Some six hundred head of horses have been quartered there for many years, and Uncle Sam is not slow in seeing that they are we'll fed and properly taken care of. It will now be necessary for many of the Gila Valley farmers to hunt new market for their produce, as there will be only one company sta- tioned at Grant during the coming
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15

Mackerel with Bunch of Keys, a Bar low Knife, Plug of good eating ToOac co and about B cents in Currency se- creted in his Jeans and he could tell the Treasury Department just how to mau- age the next S100,000,G00 Issue of Bonds.
 One thing that worried MT. Quinsy a lot was the possibility that Teddy would mak some serious Mistake. He felt more or less responsible for Teddy inasmuch as he had formally nominat- ed him in front of Pilkins's Hardware Store as far back as 1889. If he could have been at Teddys Elbow all the time to whisper Advice there would have been no Chance for the Adminis- tration to get balled up. But the trouble was that MT. Quinsy was out az Peewee Junction and Teddy was up at Washington and they could not get to- Gether to frame up Policy
 MT. Quinsy was man of Regular Habits and very Methcdical. He had so much to do every Day that he had to work on a close Schedule.
 In the Morning, after his Wife had arisen and started the Fire and put on the Griddle, MT. Mordecai F. Quinsy would arise and take few Observa- tions of the Weather. He was a very able Prognosticator and one of his fav- orite Stunts was to get up the Morning and do little Forecasting for the ben eft of his Wife and Daughter.
 After Breakfast he put on his Over coat and wrapped himself up in a Com .forter so as not to catch Cold and lose the Use of his Voice. If Mordecai F. Quinsy had lost the use of his Voice. this Country would have been in bad way.
 MT. Quinsy knew a Druggist who took a Daily Paper, and so, the first thing every Morning, he went to the Drug Store to find out what Fool Break had been made by Congress. After read laid out some Work for the Ways ani Means Committee.
 After which he went down to the Sta, tion to see Number Six go through.
 After which he went up to the Post Office to wait until the Mail had been distributed. One day in 1889 Mordecai received a Seed Catalogue and after that he was encouraged. While wait ing for his Mail, Mr. Quinsy said q few plain words about the Kaiser and stood up for the Monroe Doctrine.
 About Il o'clock every day Mr. Quinsy acted as Referee in Pool Game and then went over to the Barber Shop to look at the Illustrated Papers con- talnlng the Pictures of Footlight Favor ties and Noted Criminals. MT. Quinsy, being possessed of an Analytical Mind, was deeply interested in all Murder Mysteries and for every Case he had , few Theories of his own that would nave been great help to the Police.
 Just at F o'clock MT. Quinsy went home and ate a hearty Dinner, after which he returned to Main Ssreet,
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15
the Trusts were trying to whipsaw the

the Trusts were trying to whipsaw the Working Classes.
 About the time that he had solved tha Trust Problem, he had to go over and see the Afternoon Train go through and wait for his Mail once more.
 Late in the Day he usually dropped in at an Undertaker's Shop where q Veterinary Surgeon and a retired Truck Farmer were collaborating on For eign Policy for the State Department. MT. Ouinsy was always able to slip in a few Suggestions. He was dead set against t:l4 Anglo-SaXcn Alliance and believed in the Annexation of Canada even if it involved War.
 At 5.30 he would purchase Pound of Oyster Crackers and have them charg- ed. Then he would go home to Tea ana tell Mrs Quinsy and Daughter to fix up the Sofa for him as he was suffering from a Head-Ache and wanted to Rest for little While.
 MORAL: What we need in Americ, is the Gospel of Relaxation.
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15
MEN CRoTCHETY AT BREAKFAST.

If walters had their way men would not be permitted in restaurant before the dinner hour, CT at least before lunch" said the proprietor of cafe on upper Broadway.
 Why? Simply because they are so cross at breakfast. No, it isn't the question of tips altogether, although l never saw a waiter refuse quarter. But the fact is men are crotchety before they get their breakfast. If they have to wait five minutes it seems an hour tC them, and even the morning paper seems to lose it's charms unless break fast is on the table There IS no meal in the day where the walters get so many kicks as they do at breakfast. and the men are always more ill-tem- pered than the women.-NeW York Press.
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15

ARIZONA MISCELLANY
Greene and Torres Travelling Together

Colonel W. c. Greene and General Torres. head of the Mexican army in Sonora, spent several hours yesterday in Naco, and the people of that lively little border city are trying to figure out what has brought these two big guns together, says the Bisbee Review.
 Colonel Greene met General Torres yesterday mornin at Fairbank, and in his private car took him to Cananea, where they will remain together for several days. The general came from Her1nosillo to Fairbank on purpose to meet the copper magnate. they having agreed to join company there.
 While in Naco during the forenoon. General Torres spent some time at the Mexican school, where he made a thor ough investigation of the methods puT- sued, and the work being done- He lefc without expressing any opinion for pub- lication.
 The presence of the Mexican army of ficials in the vicinity of Naco is belieV-
 ed to have direct connection with the
 building of the new custom house at that point. For some time there has been a great deal of doubt as to just when work will be commenced. From a reliable source it is learned that three officers of the Mexican gov
 ernment will arrive at Naco in the next
 few days to make an investigation of
 the needs of the custom service at Naco. Upon their decision will probab- ly depend the starting of work on the custom house.
 It was expected several weeks ago
 that work would be under way in a short time. The plans for the building
 have been drawn and adopted. The pro posed building will cost about s20'ooS' and be one of the finest at any polne along the border. Preparations nave advanced to such point that the site
 has been selected.
 In Naco yesterday it was rumored that the meeting of Colonel Greene and
 General Torres has an important bear ing on events at Cananea. Only an ink ling of it's nature can be obtained at this time, but it is safe to say that
 in the next few days important change will be made in the government service as well as the judiciary, at either Naco or Cananea.
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15
American Bureau, Prof. Hoff's Cure for Consumption. BENDINER & SCHLESINGER, Chemists and Importers.
Sd Ave. and 10th St. New York City.

NOTE IMPORTANT.-Those who de- sire to aid in the cure of consumption Who was naa Cured I of tion and later insured by the New York Life Insurance Co. as a test case. at the expense of tine New York Journal" is connected with the American Bureau, and will personally answer all interviews and inquiries, aiding all sufferers to fol- low, at their homes, the treatment which cured him. He cautions the public against alleged ''Consumption Cures''-- Irresponsible persons and so-cailed socie-- in human hopes and human lives FThis evil practice has occasioned the publica- tion of their misdoings, and q copy of the New York Journal cautioning the pub lie against such frauds, will be mailed by MT. Hammann on request.
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15

played good Game of Checkers, and besides he liked to be on hand in case tn State needed the Services of an un- prejudiced Juror.
 MT. Quinsy had Veal, Back which prevented him from splitting Wood, but he loved some kinds of Work and the Honest Foil that suited him bes,
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15

smoking a Farm Hand Regalia and gazing thoughtfully at the Ground, try ing to straighten out the Panama Can al Business.
 In the Afternoon he hung around the Court House more or less because he
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15
"FOR THE SAKE OF
 MY LITTLE CHILDREN
Ho Cure for Consumption Saved This Mcher

Since the New York Journal sent Frederick HanE'ann to Vienna: where accomplished. numerous like cases have been reported from week to week to the American Bureau for the Hof Corsnmr- ton Cure. demonstrating beyond doubt that the disease may be cured at Eome. Here is another one:
 Bendincr & fSchlesineer, New York:
 GentleIaen.-I have been taking your medicine now since last October. and I you'd like to tell you what it has done cold. and, not paving much attention to it. Of course it became worse. had a l was taken with chills and fever, which pulled r1c down further. I got so thin my eyes sank hack in my head, and my hear- beat so fast 1 could stand no noise or excitement got so weak that could not walk across the rcoIn- l could not even dress my little children. My cough became worse.
 I was being>treated by OFT family doc tor. and l asked him if my lungs were that I was taken with a terrible hemor- rhaee of the lungs. Then l gave up en- tirely. There was no use doctorng any ing I had another slight he-norrhage. All the next day I spit blood, and I had a terrible pain across my chest and be- tween my shoulders. I could not eat anything. That same day saw your an- rouncement in the paper. and my hus- Cure I told him that I would try any thing for the sake of my little children so l began tak.rS the remedy.
 No Soreness in Lungs Now.
 Before the first bottle was empty I be- gan to show signs of improvement My cough left me The pains in my chest and lungs are gone. I do not feel any soreness in my lungs at all now, and I can eat anything that is set before me. l do all my own housework, and I am very happy to say that I feel today as if l had never been sick at all This is a great surprise to all my friends. They all thought there was no hope for me.
 1 can start out and walk two or three miles now and not get tired, and I could not do that last Fall.
 have told a number of people about the Hoff Cure, and have given away, all the books and papers you sent me. En- other bottle of Prof. Hoff's Cure for Con- sumption. Please send it to me soon as you can, for I do not want to miss taking it.
 This will be four bottles I have taken and here is my testimonial. my name and address. You can use them when and where you will. if it Will only bring the so sorely need it. Respectfully yours,
 MRS. MAGGIE WILSON,
 Georges Road, New Brunswick, N. J.
 All Is Perfectly True.
 The foregoing letter from Mrs. Wilson was published in a New York newspaper and a few weeks later another letter Bendiner 6 Schlesinger, New York:
 Dear SirS-I am receiving many letters from different parts of the country. Peo- pie do not seem to think my experience is true until they receive letter directly from me.
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15

was to sit on a Jury in a Case invoIv- ing Assault and Battery
 Court House, MT. Quinsy usually went to Real Estate Office and grappled with the Trust Problem. He had given much Thought to the Matter of legis- lating against infamous Combines and he was one of the first to discover that
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15

containing sufficient medicine for one months treatment. Six hotties for S5
 It is dangerous in the extreme to eXper- iment with Prof. Hoff's Prescription. See that this triangular trade mark is On every bottle.
 All correspondence strictly confidential We forward all packages and all mail matter in plain wrappers only
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15

tnousht he was about due to break into the Senate. To tell the cold and icy Truth, Mordecai could not have been elected Constable, but just the sam-, he knew all about John Hays next Move and sometimes he fretted a good deal for Fear that John would make 2 Miscue and permit himself to be Horn swaggled by them foreign Diplomats.
 MT. Quinsy could sit on Kit of
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15
How to Ge. the Remedy.

compounded prescrip- ton for a charge just above the cost of com pounding it. In this way the greatest good can be given the great est number. No Gecep- tion like a free offer is tolerated.
 For I.00 vre will mail a bottle of Prof. Hoff' S
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15

A full line of bright ard pretty rev spring goods just arrived Monday, 18th. We will give our customers . treat in an embroidery sale one day only. Good edges as low as 21ac per yd. J. J. HcdEett.
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15

The trouble with the fellow who knows it all is that he isn't satisfied to keep it to himself.
Arizona republican., 1903-03-15

I have answered them all so far, and have praised the Professor Hof Cure to them highly, also telling them that what they read is perfectly true.
 It is putting me under a great expense to 60 this. If you will be kind enough to clear me of all expense I will try and spare time to send them eacr a few lines to tell them all what the medicine has done for me. MRS. MAGGIE WILSON.
 Georges Read, New Brunswick. N J.
 The American Bureau will gladly de- fray all the expenses of making these an- swers, but if the inOuiIers will write inn mediately to the American Bureau they will receive the treatise written by Prof. Hott which will answer every question scientifically and completely.
 How to Ge. the Remedy.
 After Prof. Hoff's Cure for Consump- tion had become famous throughout the Austrian and German Empires, the Amer lcan Bureau was established at the lab oratorieS of the well-known New York Chemists, Messrs. Bendiner X Schlesin- ger, who import the necessary drugs through their European Branch, and compound the prescription EXACTLY in accordance with Prof. Hoff'S nstruc- tions. The American Bureau sends the
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-26

those who remained there have seen
conditions grow worse from year to
year. Most pathetic stories of hardship
and restitution have come from Ireland
In recent years. The proposed land bill
will remedy this unfortunate state Of
affairs, which has been a bitter re-
proach to the British government, and
there is reason to believe that there
will be a new Ireland, with an indus
trious, thrifty and prosperous people.
The proposed plan is not expected to
encounter any serious opposition,
though it is not approved by a small
minority of Irish peers. 1t is under
stood to have the Endorsement of a large
majority of the Irish landlords and is
favored by a large section Of the union
list party in Ireland. There appears to
be no doubt that it will be adopted by
Parliament.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-26

The colonel was assessed on $1,000 of per-
B~onality, and the president of the tax de-
partment says: I'VE will walt for him"
The degree OF Ill. d. is to be conferred
upon President Roosevelt by the University
of Chicago. There is a good deal of doc
toring to be done the laws, but Mr.. Roose-
welt has not waited for his degree before
beginning practice,
Toronto, Ontario. is TO have an old home
gathering this summer. to last from July
1 to July 4, inclusive. The city is expected
to appropriate $1,000 for the expenses and
citizens to add $4,000 more, and an earnest
effort is to be made to get as many as
possible Of the thousands OF Canadian
birth now residing in the United States to
return and join in the festivities.
Eight years ago oren Root, jr,, was a
clerk In the oflce OF the Metropolitan
Street Railroad company Of New York.
Now he is general manager, with 46o miles
of track and $4,000 men under his control.
Mr.. Root probably is the youngest railroad
manager in the world, being only 30 years
old, a quiet, reticent mar of whom 1t has
been said that ''he can say nothing for
hours" He is a nephew Of Elihu Root,
aooratarv NJ war.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-26
personal NOTES.

Ex-secretary Long, who is convalescing
at st. Margaret's hospital, Boston, says he
is fairly making a diet Of newspapers.
To Charles ]. Bonaparte, a lawyer and
philanthropist, has, been awarded the
Laetare medal. the greatest gift of Notre
Dame college.
A New York girl named Double eloped
with a man named wirth. He was able
to convince her that she was twice as val
liable to him as to her parents.
William Roscoe Thayer, the author. of
Boston, and delegate to the I~nternational
Historical congress, which will be held in
Rome in April, has arrived in that city.
"A newspaper man giving testimony in
Jefferson City, Mo-, confessed that he had
two 5000 bills. The habit of his brethren
commonly is to, conceal, so far as possible,
their possession Of these considerable
sums.
The National Dressmakers' association
in convention assembled has decided to
increase. the price of gowns from Is to 20
per cent. This announcement coming now
will be likely to bear the June matrimonial
market. H"
ut is hard" sighed Mrs. Hetty Green
when a cruel Hoboken ofncial compelled
her to pay a dog tax Of 50. A that par
ticular moment Mrs. Green probably
thought she descerned dimfy the outlines
OF the poorhouse. =
NJ. White, the Russian minister OF
finance. is an ardent temperance worker.
He is a teetotaler and induced the car
to decorate the men and women who are
the most active in temperance work. He
makes no secret OF, his preference for tee
t~otalers in the various Offices Of the de-
partment he controls.
Colonel Dan" Lamont has set a good
example to the tax dodgers by writing
from Egypt to the president OF the tax
department in New York that he would
like to. have his personal property tax as
sessment kept open till he should return
TO the United States, as he had no wish
to evade payment OF taxes In New York
Omaha daily bee., 1903-03-26
THE TRIP.

A Washington dispatch to the Phila-
Roosevelt is q good deal out of
patience with the petty jealousies and
squabbles of local committees and or
CARNATIONS in some of the cities he
expects to visit on his western tour.
The correspondent says the president
deprecates any attempt to use his visits
to exploit any faetionalism or to give
his presence any political significance,
as was sought to be done in Chicago.
1t appears that st. Paul and Minneap-
oils are sQuabbling over the honor of
entertaining the president and that
there are local squabbles at other
points as to how he shall be entertained.
IT is easy to understand that this is
distasteful and annoying to Mr.. Roose-
Welt, who is coming west wholly for
recreation and to meet the people of a
section Of the country in which he has
long taken q great interest. OF course
he will talk to the people. They ex-
Dect it and would not be satisfied If
he did not address them. But it is en-
tirely safe to say that his talk will not
be political. There is no reason why it
should be, inasmuch as there is no cam.
paign this year and certainly Mr..
Roosevelt does not need to talk politics
at this time in order to make himself
more secure in the esteem and conf
dence of western republicans. The
president was prevented from visiting
the west last year and he now intends
to fulfill the promise he then made.
There should he nothing to cause him
annoyance or embarrassment on the
trip, but every possible effort exerted
to contribute TO his pleasure.