davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
Getting Personal.

The favorite Scottish method Of deal
ing with sleepers in church was pub
licly to denounce the delinquents. The
Christian Leader tells this story:
When the Rev. Walter Dunlap, min
lister of q United Presbyterian church
In Dumfries, saw a member of his flock
nodding while he was preaching, he
stopped suddenly and said:
81 doot some O. We haze taen over
mony whey porridge the day. Sit up,
or I'll name We oot!'
Another Caledonian preacher, on like
provocation, cried out, Hold up yer
heads. my friends, and mind that nei-
ther saints nor sinners are sleeping in
the next world"
Then, finding that this general ex-
hortation was insufficient to deter a
certain well known member Of the
church from getting his nights rest
forward, the reverend gentleman turn
ed toward the offender and said:
James Stewart, this Is the second
time have stopped to waken ye. If |
need to stop a third time, I'll expose ye
by name to the whole congregation"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
Sure of O Visit.

AS a rule. said prison warden, a
man Is In n respondent mood during
his first weeks imprisonment. There
are exceptions. however. as this Incl
dent will show.
One Saturday about dinner time |
was suddenly accosted by one Of the
new arrivals who had served the first
week of his sentence.
81 say" he remarked. has a lady
been asking for me at the gate"
told him that If he had been want
ed the governor would have sent for
him.
"Oh. very well. Keep COOL" he said.
This is the first time for ten years
I've put in full weeks work. and the
old woman is sure to be at the gate for
my wages"
And with a grin the cheerful one
passed on.-London Answers.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
A Little Too Faithful.

A thief In Paris, being chased by the
Police. threw away during his flight
the purse he had stolen and was In a
fair way. after being taken 10 the po-
lice station, Of being allowed to go free
for lack Of sufficient evidence to hold
him when his faithful dog. which he
had trained to fetch and carry. trotted
into the station. wagging its tail. with
the missing purse In it's mouth.-Parls
Journal.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
Dickens and His Titles.

Charles Dickens had great difficulty
in choosing titles for his various pub
LEGATIONS. says The Golden Penny. The
following Is list Of no fewer than Il
suggestions given by the author to his
adviser, Foster, for the title Of one
book. out of which. need hardly be add
ed, No. 6 was chosen:
1. According to Croker.
2. Prove 1t.
3. Stubborn Things.
4. Mr.. Grandgrind's Facts.
8. The Grindstone.
6. Hard Times.
z. Two and Two Are Four.
8. Something Tangible.
8. Our Hard Headed Friend.
10. Rust and Dust.
IL. Simple Arithmetic.
u. A Matter Of Calculation.
Is. A Mere Matter of Figures.
IA. The Grandgrind Philosophy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
One Hundred Dollars a Box

is the value II. A. Tisdale, Summerton,
=. c., places on DeWitt's Witch Hazel
Salve. He says: II had the piles for 20
years. tried many doctors and medi-
cines, but all failed except DeWitt's
Witch Hazel Salve. 1t cured me-" 1t
is com bination of the healing proper
ties of Witch Hazel with antiseptics
and emollentS; relieves and perma-
nently cures blind, bleeding itching and
protruding piles, sores, cuts, bruises,
eczema, salt rheum and all skin diseases.
Remnants Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
Unconscious From Group.

During sudden and terrible attack
of Group our little girl was unconsciou:
from strangulation, says A. L. Spaford,
postmaster. Chester, Mich, aud dose
of One Minute Cough Cure was admin
istered and repeated often. 1t reduced
the swelling and Inflammation, cut the
mucus and shortly the child was resting
easy and Ispeedily recovered. II cures
Coughs, Colds, LaGrippe, and all throat
and Lung troubles. One Minute Cough
Cure fingers in the throat and chest and
enables the lungs to contribute pure,
health-giving- oxygen to the blood
Remnants Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
Pains in the Stomash.

Like toottache, this - noe q danger
Gus, but decidedly unpleasant ilment
Persons who are subject to aSt acks OF
1t will be pleased to know that prompt
relief may be had by taking dose OF
two of Chamberlain's Collie C'holera
and Diarrhoea Remedy. This remedy
is equally valuable for childre n and
when reduced with water and swee tened
is pleasant to take. For sale by Rein
hart's Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
"DOn't Know
How | Got
Such a Cold"

Most Of US have heard this ex-
preston many times.
Did you ever notice that the
Don't know how l got it cold
is a bad one to get over3 That
before you are through with the
hoarseness, the cough, the " ght
feeling" the general discomfort,
and the out of sorts sensations,
you are apt to have another such
cold, and so on until 1t hangs on
for weeks
These colds mean that your sys-
TEN is out of gear. They usually
precede serious diseases like con-
sumption, bronchitis. They are
dangerous.
We have found a remedy for all
sorts of colds, coughs, that is not
a so-called cough-cure. 1t does
not stupefy with opium, nor fill
the system nth vicious drugs.
1t is Vinol. We are perfectly
willing to tell any inquirers at our
store what it is made of and how
we came to take hold of it.
1t certainly does the work. Old
coughs go off like magic. 1t even
relieves people far gone in con-
sumption. People right in town
have proved it. We sell it subject
to guarantee money back if it
doesn't help you. Isn't it foolish
to put the matter off &?
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
The Gentlen,an,s Palm.

A reader of the Scriptures empha-
sizes the Fifteenth Psalm as the gentle
mans psalm because 1t describes as
among the many who are entitled to
be considered as gentlem en- lone who
ieadeth an incorrupt LIE, speaketh
truth from his heart, doe tn no evil to
his neighbor. is lowly in his own eyes,
keepeth his word even II it be to his
OWN hindrance."
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

"What would you say" began the
voluble prophet of woe, "ifI were te
tell you that in very short space Of
time all the riv ers of this couBtf y
would dry up?' " / would say" replies
the patient man :. "'Go thou and do
likewise. >"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
Not Alike.

The Professor-Don't US that phrase,
my dear. 1t is grossly un scientific.
His Wife-What phrase LAS much
alike as two peasY7
The Professor-Yes Examined I'M
der the microscope, two peas will pre-
sent startling Differences Puck.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
The Canal Syndicate.

The proposition to run all the boats
on the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal by
ayndicate.or under one management,
was verified by the Consolidation Coal
Company.
An official Of the company said the
report was practically correct. He
explained that the intention in max
ing the change go as to run the boats
under one management and on sys-
tematic basis was in order to improve
the traffic as well as to better the con-
dition. on the canal. He said that at
present it requires month for boat
to make the run from Cumberland to
Georgetown, and at the destination
antiquated methods for unloading
were in use. The captain pays the
Consolidation Company, which owns
a number of the boats, 10 cents ton
for the use Of the boat. The company,
be said, had no Interior motive In It's
part in fl. proposition, the object be-
ing to make the movement of the boats
more speedy, and thus greatly increase
the traffic, to which better, stronger
and well-fed mules will contribute.
The plans have been worked up by
General Manager G L. Nicolson, OF
the canal, and by allowing each cap
tain 800 a month for himself, one
helper aud two towpath boys, the Of
fetal said that the captain will find
that he has more money at the end OF
the month than at present. -Four
good mules fol the entire run are to
be used, instead of three Indifferent
animals now employed by the boat
men.
The company made an investiga-
ton as to the advisability of inaugu-
rating a trolley system, but 1t was
concluded that the size OF the canal
would not permit such modern meth
ods of propulsion.
A committee of Williamsport boat
men waited upon General Manager
Nlcolson and notified him that they
had decided not to accept the terms
of his proposition. The boatmen ar
que that they couln not make an or,
binary living at salary of 500 q
month, which the syndicate agrees tc
pay, and hire hands and board them
Figures furnished by boatmen place
the pay of steer,man at $50 a month
and two drivers at $15 each, and, af.
ter boarding them, the captain woulc
have SIS left for his services. Ac'
cording to Mr.. Nicolson's figures, boat
men should be able to employ steers
men for $l8 and drivers at $l2, and
after paying the necessary expenses
the captain would have about $50
while the boatmen claim that it is al
most impossible to hire hands at the
figures they have submitted.
A canal official said the plan will
inject new life into the old waterway
and put it back where it was many
years ago-into hourishing condi
ton and on a paying basis. 1t is the
purpose of the syndicate to operate
boats day and night, and make navi
cation as rapid as possible. The syn
dictate will establish company stores
at the locks at convenient points along
the canal, where the boatmen can pro
cure provisions at reasonable prices
1t is also proposed to purchase sever
al hundred mules as part Of the
equipment for the increased business
expected to be done.
The statement has been made that
the canal company will increase the
wages Of all its employees 10 per cent
at the beginningof the boating season
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

Now, then children" said the
teacher, who had been commenting
upon polar expeditions, "who can
tell me what fierce animals inhabit
the regions of the north pole?"
"Polecats !" shouted the boy at the
foot of the class.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
A Fifteen Minnie CIuh.

New York has unique organization
In a Fifteen Minute club 1t is COM
posed of newspaper men. They meet
every night at 10 o'clock sharp and
promptly adjourn at 10:15 Its objects
are purely social. No set papers or
speeches are permitted.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
Free Cure for Sick Headache.

Chamberlsinas stomach and Liver
Iaolets are a certain cure for sick head
acne. III tax en- as soon as the first in
dicafion oil tn e disease appears they viii
prevent lie tack. Get free sample
at Remnants. Pbarmacy and give them
trial.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

Wife-Did you-ever notice that a
loud talker is usually an ignorant
person2
Husband-Well, you needn't talk
90 loud; I'm not deaf
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
Mid-Winter Excursions to Washington,
VERY Low RATES.
BALTIMORE & OHIO r. R.

In accordance with its usual custom,
the Baltimore & Ohio K X. will, on Jan
uary % and February 10, 1903, run Two
Popular Mid-Winter Excursions to
Washington at very low rates for the
round trip, allowing ten days return
limit on tickets, including date of sale.
Excellent train service, standard
coaches, Pullman parior and sleeping
cars.
These delightful excursions afford
splendid opportunities to visit the Ma
tional Capital during the session OF
Congress. For tickets, time OF trains
and full information, call on or address
Agents B. q D. X. Il.
A most complete and fully illustrated
Guide to Washington may be purchased
from Agents B. * o. r. r. at ten 90,
cents per copy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

External appearances are often
misleading" says the Manayunk
philosopher. "Any terrapin would
rather be a mud turtle"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

Draws 10 gallons of
water per minute. No
tubing to rust, burst
or wear. Never has
to be packed, primed
or thawed, win not
freeze. as buckets
drain tn EN- selves.
VIII not rust, chain
and buckets made of
Galvanized Steel. Can
/. be set up in Is min
utcs. No attachments
below the platform.
No wooden tub Ing,
rubber or leather TO
coutaminate the wa
ter. Makes bad water
good and good water
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

Judge-YOu do not seem to realize
the enOrmity of the charge against
you.
Prisoner-NO; amt got my law
yer's bill yet, but I'm expectin' the
charge II be enormous. all right.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

Casey-See here thot dollar ye lent
me Yesterday wuz counterfeit.
Cassidy-Well, Casey, didn'ty e say
We wanted it bad I?
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

Teacher--Correct the sentence,
"The liquor what the man bought was
soon drunk"
Bright Pupil-The man who bought
the LIQUOR was soon drunk.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
MOORE 4 MOORE,
INSURANCE
AND
Real Estate Agents,
Charles Town, w. Va.
Charles Town, w. Va.

We represent number Of leading
Fire Insurance Companies and can fur
nish insurance at the very lowest rates.
We also represent the Penn Mutual
Life Insurance Company, of Philadel-
phia. one of the oldest, strongest, and
best companies doing business in the
United States. All of the policies are
Uncomfortable from date of issue, besides
having number of other valuable OPP
tions.
We have some Fine Jefferson County
Farms for sale, ranging from 100 to 400
acres.
Respectfully,
MOORE & MOORE
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
Tie Jefferson County Nut us
FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY.
= ESTABLISHED 1873

- ESTABLISHED 1875
OFFERS To the people ofJefferson Count
" Insurancein asafe com pany at tn actual
,ost Of Insurance, which is much cheaper
than the rates usually charged and keeps tht
money at home. Good risks from RESPONSE
ole parties are invited.
Executive Committee meetsevery Friday
DIRECToks-Jos pnell, Henry B. Daven
port, JAS Garland Hurst, John W. Rider, W
Fl. L. Lewis, X. Preston Chew, VIM. l.. Will
son, Eugene Bake, ). W. Washington, II.
Snyder, Chas. p Wilson, Jno. h. little, Jaco,
8. Melvin, K. q. W. Herr, Isaac II. Strider.
JOSEPH TRAPNELL. Presidenl
II. b. DAVENPORT ............. Treasurer
LOCAL Middleway John G. Shir
ley; Harper Ferry, Chas. II. Trail; Shep-
QerdstOwn, j. ;. Fleming; Charlestown
Washington & Alexander.
&rrhe Secretary will, be found at tn Q Com
psny's once, Gibson Building, Court House
yard, in Charlestown.
K. A ALEXANDER ec'y
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
DO YOU GET UP
WITH A LAME BACK r.?
Kidney Trouble Makes You Miserable.

Almost everybody who reads the news
papers is sure to know of the wonderful
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

cures made by DR..
Kilmer's Swamp-Root,
the great kidney, liver
and bladder remedy.
1t is the great medi-
cal triumph Of the nine
teenth century; dis
covered after years of
scientific research by
DR.. Kilmer, the emf
nent kidney and blad-
der specialist, and Is
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

Trains Most and 10 run daily Su 49,.
Hagerstown and Harrisburg. land NO 1h'.'
minutes late on sundays.
Daily.
Daily except sunday.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

wonderfully successful in promptly curing
lame back, kidney, bladder, uric acid trou-
bles and Bright's Disease, which is the worst
form OF kidney trouble.
DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root is not rec
ommendedfor everything butt you have kid
ney, liver or bladder trouble it will be found
Just the remedy you need. lthas been tested
in so many ways, in hospital work, in private
practice, among the helpless too poor to pur-
chase relief and has proved so successful in
every case that special arrangement has
been made by which ali readers of this paper
who have not already tried it, may have a
sample bottle sent free by mail, also book
telling more about Swamp-Root and how to
find out if you have kidney or bladder trouble.
When writing mention reading this generous
offer In this paper and EyE~
send your address to dsiTk s: :s;s::;sas
Dr.. Kimer & Co, Bing III! 4
hamton, N. Y. The ss= zlM5{g
regular fifty cent and Home of svsmp-ROOe
dollar sizes are sold by all good druggists.
Don t make any mistake, but remem-
Der the name, Swamp-Root, DR.. Kill
mer's Swamp-Root, and the address,
Binghampton, n. Y, on every bottle.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

mo, ma'am," replied fve-year-Old
Elsie. "But then be amt a very good
baby"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
Western Maryland Railroad

Schedule in Effect September 18th. Iga
HAGERsTowE AND BALTIMORE
Leave Hagerstown 1874 n. m, 2lJ .. m. And
t.l2 p. m.
EAST Mail. the only SUNDAY train.
Connections at llighicld Tor Gettybun
Hanover. Spring Grove. YORK Eastern IN.
tension, aud points on baltimore aud Har.
risburg Division.
HAGERsTowN AND CHERRY RUN.
Leave Hagerstown at ssa. m. E.I1 pa
S.U6 y. m.
Arrive at Hagerstown at COS a. ni.. IOB,
m.
HAGERSTowN AND CHARACTERISTICS
AND SHIPPENSBuKG
Leave Hagerstown at q n n. m. 1915 "a
Arrive at Hagefstown at JS a, M. 80 ,
m,
VIA CUr OFF.
HAGERsTowN AND CHANBERsBURG
Leave Hsgerstown mt SD y. m. Arrives
Sap. m, making connection with b.iC
V. X. X. at QuinsOnia 10 and from Ballimoft
These trains Will run daily except SUNDAY.
The Fast Mail from baltimore ardyingH
Hagerstown at 7.3O "A. IN. and leaving TOO Be-.
timore nj 40 p. m, being daily.
For Frederick leave Hagerstown asa
m. and 40 p. IN. Immediate cOnnectlon
Bruceville.
r. 4. LANDSTREET.
Vice Pres't and Geul Manager
Is. IA. Ukl-NOLD,
Oen'l Passenger AgsaL
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

"This isn't very good picture OF
your little baby brother, is it2" said
the visitors.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
TLYilI!IIA,Iz:Ill
Bucket Pump and Water Purifier
BEST ON EARTH
Sr Wells and CisternA.
Sold Media, Worlds Exposition.

gin ourify a foui tel or Cistern in &c
3ays use or money refunded
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29

sSsssr waves ;ts cost I'm Doctor oiis
asszs every sesr, pure water being pre-
,saIsSye Against Cholers, typhoid and
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
ST. VTUSDANcE Sure osrf rS ci5cSlsJ, p

Diggisby (glancing over paper)-
All, here's another case of man COM
hitting suicide because his home was
unhappy.
Mrs. Diggisby-Well, l suppose the
widows home will be happier than
the wife's was.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
Cumberland Valley Railroad.

Time table In effect May n. lSf
Leave. no 2 so.i so.s No.s solo Do Val
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1903-01-29
DIR. FENNER'S
KIDNEY and
Backache

Don't become discouraged. There IL
cure for you. IL necessary write DR.. fenner.
he has spent q life time curing just such
cases as yours. All consultations Free.
"Foa years I had backache. severe pains
Across kidneys and scalding urine. could
not get out Of bed without help. The use D.
DR.. Fenner's Kidney and Backache Cure re-
stored me. G. WAGNER, K nobsville Pa
Druggists Soc. 81 Ask for Cook Book-Free.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-08-05

and to disappear in seven years. Be
sides these bounties there was pro-
tective tariff averaging about S. per
ton or one-llalf the average American
duty on steel goods. OF course, the
steel industry began to flourish III
Canada. Big mills sprang into exist
ence and stocks brimfull of water
were put upon the market. Great
earnings We're necessary to pay divi-
denls OH all this watered capital.
Now that the bounties are being seal
ed down some of the steel companies
there are beginning to worry about
their dividends. A big movement is
on foot to induce the Canadian gov
eminent to increase the tariff duties
on iron and steel to about the Ameri-
can rates. 1t is said that the big
infant steel industry will not abide
permanently in Canada unless treated
more literally by the government.
When the Minister of Finance, Hon.
Mr.. Fielding, Introduced the bounty
system in 1890, it was practically
promised that the industry would
soon be able to. produce iron at SO
Il ton. The manufacturers claim that
the promising infant has not fulfilled
expectations, but refuse to submit
figures showing exact cost of produc-
ton, which the Premier, Sir Wilfred
Laurier, is mean enough to insist on
having before he is willing to grant
the extra duty to the bowling infant.
Such unkind treatment will surely
drive this infant industry out of Can
ada. If 1t will but come to us VIZ
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-08-05
Free Trade and Hard rime.,

W.
The Kansas City Star is quoted in
the American Economist as saying:
THE resolution which England has
practically reached, of departing from
her immemorlal principles of free
trade, is valuable object lesson to
the United States, and has already
had a. beneficial eeffct in bringing to a
halt those statesmen who were con-
templating drastic overhauling and
revision Of our tariff schedules. Eng
land is now suffering all the evils of
free trade, while this country Is en-.
joying the advantages of a protective
tariff, and perhaps undergoing some
OF its mischiefs also. = If pro-
lection causes wealth and trusts, the
converse is also true-free trade pro-
duces hard times and panics."
Here Is an admission TINT protection
causes trusts. We need then discuss
only the proposition that free trade
produces hard times.
Protectionists seldom look past Eng
land and delight in contrasting con.
ditions in England and America. They
find day wages considerably higher
here than in England, and they begin
to crow nbout the tariff as a means of
taxing ourselves rich. They neglect to
observe that a laborer here produces
so much more in day that piece
wages here are usually lower than in
England, as James G. Blaine found
when, as Secretary of State, he made
report on this subject. They also
neglect to observe that because of
free trade the cost of living is lower