Waterbury evening Democrat., 1903-10-23
THOMPKINS DEALS
 WITH FOOTPADS 4

NTRS. THOMPKINS had been making tkVk calls in the afternoon, and at din- ner she told the narrowing tale nar- rated to her by Mrs. Timide of how Mr.. Timide had been held up by three masked bandits the night before and been forced to disgorge his watch and pocketbook.
 Tt was simply terrible" said Mrs. Thompkins. eeMr. Timide had revolver. too, but it was three against one, and he was unprepared, and so they just helped themselves. Why, they took even the re- volver. I just hope they'll catch those robbers and hang them. Poor Mir. Timide, he was so brave-never tainted or anything. ; s
 MT. Thompkins snorted. These peo- pie who get held up ought to be hung in stead of the robbers. I'd like somebody to hold me up. just wish they would. There'd be few footpads up in Heaven right away, I'll tell you"
 Indeed, there wouldn't" said Mrs. Thompkins, indignantly.
 aWoman!" thundered MT. Thompkins, "do you doubt my bravery ?"
 'No," responded Mrs. Thompkins, bravely, but determined to stand by her principles eBut wouldn't the footpads --hum-go to the other place?"
 well, you know what mean This thing of standing still and just request ing the footpads to kindly step up and help themselves and ask for anything they don't see is worse than foolish: it's. criminal. that's what it Is"
 e.sCriminaI?" asked Mrs. Thompkins.
 t.Yes, criminal criminal because foot~s pads should be shot. You can t shoot 'em on the street when you meet 'em down. town in daylight because you don t know they're footpads. The only time to shoot 'em is when they're in the act of foot padding. Being held up is something that an honest citizen should seek. be- cause it gives him the opportunity of knowing who the footpads are and re- moving them immediately from the earth
 ssBut perhaps there are too many of them, as in the case of MT. Timide." said Mrs. Thompkins, x
 Don't care how many there are of 'em The more the mefrier A man out in the city late at night should be like an army in the presence of thesenemy. He should be semper paratus--that's Latin for always ready He should have his revolver in his hand and his eyes peeled Tn every direction, and should treat every man as suspicious charac- ter until he has proven himself a friend. Mrs. Thompkins, there areso many fools like Timide browsing around the town at night encouraging the footpad indus try that brave men who know how to deal with these creatures should employ their midnight hours in going out and kiliin' them. I am going to sally forth tonight and slay a few of these villains.
 Mrs. Thompkins pleaded in vain. MT. Thompkins practiced on the punching bag for an hour or two, read three chap- ters on The Manly Art of Self-Defense,' '8 and then, putting two revolvers in his pocket. started out. Mrs. Thompkins wept when he went away, and then, after filled with great resolve, and she put on her hat and cloak and followed.
 MT. Thompkins walked down the street for four blocks, but saw no one. Then he turned and walked north, and through a vacant lot which was used as short cut between two streets.
 His head was down and he was deep in thought as to whether he should kill the footpad right off the reel or bind and gag him and send for the patrol wagon.
 Suddenly be was aware that two men stood in front of him. Up flew MT. Thompkins' good right hand. clinching revolver. For some reason his hand shook so that he could never have taken aim, but he pressed the muzzle of the re- volver against the body of the man in front of him and pulled on the trigger. The weapon clicked, and before MT Thompkins could pull the trigger again he received blow on the head from a cane that knocked him down. The two men sprang at him with upraised canes, but one of them exclaimed:
 tsWhy, it's old Thompkins. What do you mean by attempting to assassinate me, you villain?"
 ..Help! Police!" shouted Thompkins. Then he recognized in the two men his neighbors. Dr. Pillem and Mr. Hooter.
 What does this outrage mean?" de- manded MT. Hooter. why, Thompkins, if your revolver hadn't missed fire you would have been a murderer"
 T thought you were footpads,'' said MT. Thompkins, meekly.
 DO footpads wear silk hats? Dark as the night was you should have recog- nized our hats. Besides the street lights here give enough light to have enabled -Nu to see who we were '
 T wasn't looking" said MT. Thomp- kins. Tn fact, I was sort of expecting to be held up and was ready"
 You were little bit too ready" com mented MT. Hooter. You can thank your lucky stars that you didn't kill any body or get killed yourself. |
 The two men, without saying good night, walked away. and MT, Thompkins rubbed the lump on his head raised by the doctors cane and had a mind to go home, but finally decided to carry out his appointed mission of sIayihg foot