The Greeley tribune., 1903-12-24
Woman In
Business
As illustrated by the Pa.
tketic Story Of Toby
From Letters From Self Made Mer.
Giant to His Son." m GeOrE Horace
Lortmer. By permission of Small. Mdy-
ndrd d Co., Publishers. Boson

| never do business with woman
that l don't think of little incdeb;
which happened when l was first mar
ried to your ma. We set up hOusekeep-
ing in one of those cottages that you
read about in the story books, but tll;.t
you want to shy away from when it's
put up to you to live in one Of them.
1t was just the place to go for picnic.
but it's been my experience that fel-
low does most of his picnicking before
he's married.
Your ma did the cooking and hus-
tied for things to cook, though ! would
take shy at 1t myself once In awhile
and get up my muscle tossing fiapjacks.
1t was pretty rough sailing, you bet.
but one way and another we managed
to get good deal Of satisfaction out of
it, because we had made up our minds
to take our fun as We went along
| With most people happiness Is some
thing that is always just day of. But
l have made it rule never to put off
being happy till tomorrow.
p, l was clerking i'll a general store at
|
for live stock even then and while
couldn't afford to plunge In it exactly
l managed to buy likely little shOte
that l reckoned on carrying through
the summer on credit and presenting
with bill for board in the fall. He
was just plain pig when he came to
us. and we kept him in little sty. but
we weren't long in finding out that he
! wasn't any ordinary root and grunt
pig. The first l knew your ma was
calling him Toby and had turned him
loose. Answered to his name like
dog. Never saw such sociable pig.
Wanted to sit on the porch with us.
Tried to come into the house evenings.
Used to run down the road squealing
for joy when he saw me coming home
from work.
Well. it got on toward November, and
Toby had been making the most Of his
opportunities. l never saw pig that
turned corn into fat so fast, and the
stouter he got the better his disposition
grew. reckon was attached to him
myself in sort of a sneaking way. but
was mighty fond of hog meat, too,
and we needed Toby in the kitchen. So
sent around and had him butchered.
When got home to dinner next day.
l noticed that your ma looked mighty
solemn as she set the roast of pork
down in front of me, but strayed off.
thinking of something else as carved.
and my wits were OF wOolgatherins
sure enough when l said:
"Will you have piece Of Toby, my
dear?"
Well, sir, she just looked at me for
moment, and then she burst out crying
and ran away from the table. But
when went after her and asked her
what was the matter she stopped cry
ing and was mad in a minute all the
way through. Called me n heartless
cruel cannibal. That seemed to relieve
her so that she got over her mad and
began to cry again. Begged me to take
Toby out of pickle and to bury him in
the garden. l reasoned with her and
in the end | made her see that any
obsequies for Toby, with pork at 5
cents a pound, would be pretty eN.
pensive funeral for us. But first and
last she had managed to take my appe-
| ute AWAY So tIit uluH WANT an.
roast pork for dinner or cold pork for
supper.
That night l took what was left OF
Toby to storekeeper at the Crossing
who knew would be able to gaze on
his hams without bursting into tears
and got pretty fair price for him.
simply mention Toby in passing as
an example of why l believe women
weren't cut out for business-at least
for the pork packing business. I've had
dealings with Il good many of them
first and last. and it's been my expert
ence that when they've got weak
case they add their sex TO it and win,
and that when they've got strong
case they subtract their sex from ii
and deal with you harder than man.
They're simply bound to win either
way. and | don't like to play a game
where haven't any show. When a
clerk makes fool break, l don't want
to beg his pardon for calling his atten-
ton to it, and | don't want him TO
blush and tremble and leak little
brine into a fancy pocket handkerchief.
A little change Is mighty soothing
thing, and | like woman's ways too
much at home to care very much Tor
| them at the office. Instead Of hiring
women l try to hire their husbands
and then l usually have them both
working for me. There's nothing like
woman at home to spur on man at