Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-04-25
WIT AND HUMOR.

Jilson says it is queer how frequent
ly idle talk gets in its work.-6uDaeo
Courier.
Do a man q favor and he will be
grateful enough TO return for another.
-NeW Orleans Pcayune.
It's the ice mans summary way OF
dealing with his customers that makes
him rich.-Bu6alo Courier.
A d~ragon-fly has IL, 900 lenses in HE
eve. This is what lens e~nchantment to
his view.-Lot0eH Courier.
Almost any mortal can resist the
temptation to steal when to steal Is I'M
necessary - Galveston Ncws.
The most consistent mortal crosses
his path over and over again during q
short ifetime.-GalveSton NeWs.
1t seems reasonable that a cat-rigged
boat would suffer more from squalls
than any other. -LowcU Courier.
Judge-Prisoner, why did you throw
a plate at your wife's head? Accused
Nothing else handy, sir--Ifath.
Winks-Have you been to see the
Living Pictures? Jinks-No; but l
am going to a seaside resort.-N. Y.
Weekly.
Miss Casey-I always pay as l 60
Gertrude (who is tired)-Do you see
anything in this room you would iketo
buy?-F ogue.
First Drummer-Say, business is look
ing up again, isn't it? Second Drum
mer-Well, it ought to; it's fiat on its
back.-IrUth.
She-There goes the American girl
| who snubbed a prince. He-The prince
was already married, l presume.-M.
Y. Weekly.
When a man does not want to do a
thing he says Il cannot" when he can
not do it he says Il don't want to-
FIigende Blatter.
Students of language would confer a
favor by deciding whether on advanced
and a forward woman are the same
Philadelphia Times.
"You insult a good dog" says the
Manayunk philosopher, "when you
speak of some leading a dogs life."-
Philadelphia Record.
Its dollars to sense" was Sillson's
only comment when he heard of Miss
| Muchcash's marriage to Prof. Great
brain. -Bufalo Courier.
Young Poet-I cannot make up my
mind whether l had better read Ham
let nee more or write something my
self."-F1igende Blatter.
"Cholly has a very thoughtful ex-
preston on his face" said one girl:
"Cholly's becoming deceitful," replied
the other Washington Star.
May-Miss Elderleigh is suffering
from nervous prostration. Eva-What
caused it? May-Waiting so ~axiously
for a proposal.-Broohtyn life.
Bradford Higbee makes money go
rs far as any man l know. Robbins
How does he do it? Bradford-Gives
il to foreign missions .-Hdrlem Life.
Priscilla-Don't you envy my luckp
Isn't Jack hurry a splendid fellow to
have for a fiance? Prunella-O, yes; l
know that from experience.--T'7tth
American Girl-O, yes; my home
was in California but | went to school
in Boston. Interested Foreigner-Ach,
so? Did you go home at nightsP-
Life.
She-You look positively seedy. Look
1T your hair. How long is it since
you've had it cut. He-H don't know.
| haven't measured it.-Phtladetphta
Record.
Willis-You don't like to play poker
with Jones, do your Wallace-What
leads you to think so? Willis-Jones
says he likes to play with you.-Har-
lem Life.
MY wife is putting up some branded
peaches, remarked Mr.. Quiet Man. IL
don't care much for peaches, but l like
tile spirit in which she works."-Qut-
man Free Press.
Maid - How was the new playP
Mistress-Very sad. Six persons die
in it. Maid-I thought so when saw
them carrying In so many flowers
FItegende Batter.
81 hate long vacations" said Harka-
way. 81 can live like a Prince on my
savings for a week, but when l get four
weeks off | have to live like a farmer"
Citizen-Why don't you stop that
fight over there. Officer McGobb-Ah,
let um be. It's only a couple OF DIM
mycrats talking over the tariff-ln-
QtNndpONS oOuTHdt.
Carrie-They say Jove laughs at low
ers' periuries. Faith-I wonder how he
finds time to attend TO his other busi-
ness. He must be kept so busy at wa
tering places Vogue.
Charlie-What would you do II the
world came to an endp Tommy four
years old)-Td get on my brothers
safety and put a life preserver around
me.-Harper's Young People.
Bradford always thought Mrs.
Binks wore the pants, and now I'm
sure of it. Robbins-Whyp Bradford
-Binks said that what suited him
suited his wife.-Brooktyn Life.
Eastern Man-Those commonwealers
have succeeded in stealing a train, !
see. Now what are they wranglins
about? Western Man-They all want
to be passengers.-N. Y. Weekly.
Dinkler (by way OF a joke)-Do you
believe that "all thing come to him who
waits" Patp Pat (not very slow)-To
him who atesp Sure an OF do if phwai
he ates is hash. buffalo Courier.
al" meditatively muttered the funny
boarder, lit is true, rs some scientist
asserts, chickens really talk, the Ian
guage of two-thirds of them must bs
pretty blamed tough.-ButaIo Courier,
Wife-William, l do think our boys
are the worst l ever saw. I'm sure they
don't get it from me. Husband (snap'
pishly)-Well, they don't get it from
me. Wife (refectively)-No William,
you seem to have all yours yet.-De.
tro1 Free Press.
Haverly-Poor Mrs. Nagleigh has
suffered a terrible blow. She has lost
LIZ. Lan,irn AaGtan Ihat daaSn,1