The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-10-02
HERE AND THERE.

You know she always thinks that
other peoples troubles are worse than
her own" Why, the woman must be
utterly lacking in inagination!"-Life.
Mr.. Kelley-'It seq in his paper that
married people grow to look Ioike wan
another" Mrs. kelly-'Thin it's shmall
chance Old how ov gittin' another hus-
band if ye should die, begobs.'-Judge.
Mrs. JolIyboy-"But during our court
ship you told me that you had never
loved any girl but m e Jollybouy-"I
thought you were too wise to pay any
to campaign canards."-Chi-
cago Daily News.
Man Dressmaker-"Well, what now?T
APPRENTICE have discovered a way
to make a woman'S dress so that she
will look like a hump-backed baboon
with bats wings" Man Dressmaker-
Glorious! 1t will become the rage
New York Weekly.
a 2OO-pound Nebraska girl was mar
ried the other day. The editor Of the
local paper, after racking his brains in
an effort to say something nice about
her, called her the Elegant bridge I'm
agine his feelings when the paper came
out calling her the elephant BRIDE
Ilwaco (Wash.) Journal.
You don't mean to say that you
would give a mar money for his inf1u-
ence?" Not if l could help it, ans
wered Senator Sorghum. "Of course,
it would be cheaper to give him 8 po-
sition. But the trouble is there aren't
enough offices to go 'round."-Washing-
ton Star.
Il notice." remarked the man from
Covington, that Cleveland is way
ahead of Cincinnati in one thing. Her
Jail contains lots more prisoners" Il
don't WONDER replied the Cincinnati
man: 'if [ had to live in Cleveland the
Jail would be quite as attractive as any
other place to me."-Cincinnati Com
merciaI-TribuEe.
Reports from the south indicate the
establishment of an unusually large
number of banks throughout this sec
ton. We will move our own crops al
ter q while on u Own surplus wealth
and build up great fortunes from the
riches of the soil and the industry o
the people. The south is coming to he
OWn.-CharleStOn POSt.
But what is the use?" said the pr.
ate secretary, 'Of advertising for YOU
lost pocketbook. when it contained onl.
a dollar or two in money and a few pa
pers of no Importance" 1T gives M
the opportunity" replied the distin
guished statesman, lowering his voice
to a confidential tone, "of conveying tn
:Ioo - +ho n,,h1ic that T don't carry an
railroad passeS."-Chicago Tribune.
; NJ. Henneberg, a great silk manufac
turer, who recently retired from busl
ness, has built for himself on LAX
Constance a h~abitation exactly after tn
model Of a prehistoric lake dwell1nj
shown in the Zurich Museum. IN
building, which is about W hundre
feet off the coast Of the lake, rests upo
piles a few yards above the level of tn
water. 1t consists of only n room, an
its framework is made from the WOO
of the view three. round this room
gallery extends of al width of some hV
feet or seven feet. The walls consist Q
willow wickerwork and mud plaster
the floor of hard mud and plated willow
and the ceiling of pressed straw. Tn
walls are ornamented with design
drawn with coal and bullock's blood
New York Tribune.
We beg our readers not to be alarmed
but it becomes our painful duty to an
nounce h one of the western agrlcul
tural colleges has determined to endo'
a chair devoted to t~hremmatOlOg!
The Sun admits, with some shame. tina
it does not know it by that name, an
would not recognize a thremmatologls
if it saw him coming down the pix
Still, as we are warned of his approach
is is just as we'll to be prepared for tn
Jolt. We a hardly recovered frol
the shock Occasioned by Sprlnglng a
., gronomist upon US without warnin;
until this new scientific n philologic'
aggregation was started westward frol
his eastern lair. It is Just as we'll
Law low and exercise caution until "
find out exactly what he is going to G
with us and whether his intentions al
friendly or inimical.-Durham SUM-.
There are amusing things to happe
in court sometimes. Friday the sole
tor prayed the judgment Of the cou
upon a man who had previously plea
guilty to the charge of assault wit
deadly weapon. The judge began nal
ing some inquiry as to the magnitu(
of the offense to measure the puaisl
ment accordingly. The lawyer for tt
negro arose to make a statement. t
went on to tell the court what an e
ceIlent man his client was, that he d
not V have a pistol at the time
the trouble because he told him he d
not have one and he was a TRUTH
negro. After The lawyer was throuE
the solicitor called the prisoner TO {
| stand. Now. where did o get t
pistol YOU had that day. asked t
solicitor. The negro went rigAt abe;
and told all about it and the audien
smiled at the embarrassment OF |
n--..:ir- D-Anr+nr