davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Can't Appreciate Poetry.

Down thro' the dales and the bowers Of loving
Singing. ] roam afar.
Daytime or nighttime, constantly rowing
Dearest one. thou art my star.
Appearing in a Detroit contemporary.
WhereupOn the unpsychie mind Of Editor
stearns. Of the adrian Press" yainly grasping
az the sense Of the verse inquiries:
"wiI some literary expert, some intellectual
prodigy claiming to have knowledge Of what
constitutes poetical and literary ability and
mind culture, explain wherein the above con
tains poetical sentiment or literary worth, that
elevates IT above the ordinary doggerel Of every
district school poet?''
The same critic declares that lit hasn't the
merit Of the following. from one Of Michigan's
leading poets:
The moon is round,
Tie sky is blue;
The grass is green,
And 50 are you.
An editor once wrote:
Above sanctum stool,
We write of bowers COOL
OF rose and watery pool
Il is the glad vacation time of school
But il didn't suit his ''rcd-headed, lop-eared
contemporary across the street" who grabbed
his pen and wrote:
Above the stool
There was fool;
Below the fool
There was a stool,
stool. fool,
Fool. stool.
old stool
Damphool
Some people can't appreciate poetry, any
l,ssy.-DetToit Tribune.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Impressed Queen Victoria.

He first came to the front as counsel
for Donald Crawford, in the Crawford
versus Crawford and Dixie divorce case
and distinguished himself by the venom
and the ferocity with which he ar
raigned and denounced Sir Charles Dixie
as the destroyer of his friends home
Indeed, ueen Victoria was so much i'm
pressed thereby that she is said TO have
personally insisted at the time of the
formation OF the Tory administration
Immediately afterward, that a seat
should be found In the cabinet for this
Vigorous champion of the sanctity OF
the English fireside. 1t was only some
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
The Drift of Public Opinion.

Columbus Citizen: Considering the fact that
Postmaster General Payne knew there was moth
ing wrong in his department six months ago, il
may be said thar he has learned very rapidly
Milwaukee Sentinel; Governor La Toilette prob
ably will remain quietly in the executive Of
ace until Tom johnson gets through with his
stunr in Ohio and surrenders the stage
Nashville Banner: In this country the stand
patters'' are proteetionists; in England they are
, free traders.
Philadelphia North American: II IS UP to Quay
and Iittauer. the glo1eman. to get together,
rally round the statute Of limitations, and give
three cheers for IT,
Atlanta Constitution: The members Of the
Cabinet are scrambling to take the stump
Doubtless this is what Candidate Roosevelt had
in mind when he announced on his return from
Washington that ne had thirteen months Of
herd work before him.
Nashville Banner: Mr. Charles Towne. erzt-
while Populist, having taken degree in Wan
Street, SAYS: Il battle my soul in the ar
rnosphere Of honest Democracy" Mr. Iowne
I should explain.
/ Memphis Commercial Appt The hon Bill
/ Szrdanapalus Devery. of Ne Is the one
candidate for mayer q New s=at
himself free from all entan
FORM Bill is for wide-op
moral wide-open government
town. lie is thoroughly
wind never ceases 60 blow IL
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Carries a Thermometer.

A Tammany speIlbiEder in Brooklyn.
imported from Alabama. carries Their
mometer. and stops in the middle OF a
speech and takes his temperature. Doe=
not want 10 get overheated.
Bonnie Isaacs is again canvasSins the
East Side for orders for patent leather
shoes 70 be delivered after election II
Mcclellan wins. the price wiz be e
Cents pair less
Tammanys most effective cry IS.
There are 42.0O0 Offices
Edward NJ. Shepard. BroOklyn's lead
ing Democrat. failed 10 register.
A majority of Deve-y's supporters are
union labor men
Police are taking no active part In shs
contest They are out OF politics
Mcclellan works hardest In Brooklyn.
Low in Manhattan.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Political Gossip
Here and There
Activity in Massachusetts.

Both parties In Massachusetts seem to
be making a whirIwind finish in the
campaign In that State. While thu
chances are always that the Repub-
licans will be successful one thing il
certain. and that is that they are more
uneasy concerning the result this year
than they have been before for a decade.
IL seems almost incredible TO say that
there is possibility Of the Democrats
carrying the Old Say State. yet placed
upon betting basis the chances are
one to three that they will do So
IL Colonel CASTOR. the Democrats
nominee. is able to make the same ratio
Of gains this year which he cid last
he will be the next governor. That he
VIII make some gains IS conceded even
by his political opponents. yet Il appears
to be improbable that ne will be able 10
wipe out Governor Bates lead OF g.. 900
last fall The factors which tend to-
ward lowering the Republican majority
are the effective Democratic organiza-
ton. which is better than Il has been
In manv years. the alleged Republican
extravaganza In State administration
and the recent charges made against
Governor Bates that while lieutenant
governor he accepted checks to the
amount Of $4,000 from a well-knovn
Statehouse lobbyist The Democrats
have made the latter a campaign issue
and are endeavoring TO prejudice the
voters against the governor on this ac-
count. while refraining from making A
charge Of corruption or bribery They
simply present the fact and leave the
voters TO draw their own differences.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Bubbles.

A lay fgure-the price of eggs
The minute man may say, Il second it,
The artist Doesn't do a frce-hand drawing for
nothing
The would-be aeronaut and his machine are
both sore (soar) ly tried.
OF course. you always buy underwear subject
to change.
The vaccine physician and the barber are
willing 10 scrape an acquaintance
The teacher often keeps the imperfect scholar
after school for spell
A soft answer often prevents hard feelings
Most men are known by their works. but We
judge the musician by his play
The society bud is naturally in the flower Of
her youth.
The garter snake prefers calf to sheep.
As the hair bleacher said. "A fair exchange
is no robbery"
Nothing venture nothing gained Is not
consOling to man who has nothing to ven
ture.
The astronomer may go star-gazing in the
daytime by patronizing the mstinees.
A glorious sunset isn't half 50 attractive to a
woman as a diamond sunburst.
Does the Dragging cornetist who plays Dor
rowec instrument blow his own horni
Winter DAYS a-comin'.
Bringin' ice n snow.
When the place that's pleasaHteSt
Is by the fires glow
But never mind the weather,
Even in the storm
Life is worth the Twin
II the heart beats warm
Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
His Title Clear.

There is. therefore. but little doubt
that the claimant. that Is 10 say. Arnold
Harris Mathew, as great-grandson OF
the first Earl Landau. Is thoroughly
justified in assuming the title OF Earl
OF Landau, and that he will now have
no further difficulty in obtaining recog-
milton as such by the crown, in which
event the latter would Issue instructions
TO the Ulster king alarms to restore
his f.ame TO the roll of Irish peers.
The only reason why the crown has
delayed doing this until now is because
Of the failure Of the first earl. in any of
his papers or correspondence found
the other day. to make mention of his
eldest son. 1t is perfectly true that
there was the certificate of the sons
birth in France, but IL was feared that
the first earl's silence concerning him
might indicate that while he was the
son Of the countess, yet he was not
his (the earl's) offspring. The commit
tee of privileges of the house of lords
as / have repeatedly shown In these
letters. is extremely cautions about
recommending the crown to recognize as
successors to peerages claimants III
whose psrentage or ancestry there is
even the suspicion of flaw But now
that this will of the first earl, in which
nc specifically refers to his eldest son
Arnold as being his eldest son, born in
lawful wedlock, has been discovered.
there can exist no further ground for
delay in recognizing the claimant as
Earl Of Landau.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
The Road to Happiness.

The women's clubs declare
The road 10 happiness
Lies DER the plump cellar
And salad made Of cress;
That II goes gladly by
This path OF pure delight
The copper-bottomed pie
And Biscuits far from light.
All these things may be true,
But let MS take a look
How many girls do you
Know who would like 10 cook2
Chicago Tribune.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
cailu Calendar OF American History
October 40.

17S1--Sir Henry Clinton with feet and
troops after a five-day cruise in
Chesapeake Bay, returned to New
York.
1S12-The Constitution. under Captain
cambridge, captured the Sava, a
British frigate.
1S59-Gen. Winfield Scott ordered to the
Pacific. in view of British claim to
San Juan
1SS5-Gen. George b. Mcclellan died az
Orange. y. j.. born. 1926.
190l-Czolgoz put TO death at the State
prison. Auburn, N Y for the muir
der of President Mckinley.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Against Her Principles.

What do you think of Keats ode on
Gsecian Urng' . asked Mrs. Old Castle as they
slipped their tea in the magnificent library.
II think" her hostess replied, iii he'd Of
been a gentleman he'd OF paid it. Josiah says
people never ought TO have luxuries that they
have TO get trusted for."-Chicago Record
Herald.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Hamilton w Mabie says that art Is
rot a luxury. but the best way of do
ing things. and therefore necessity
The average man. however, will con-
tinue to feel that it Is more expensive to
indulge in paintings and statues than in
beef and potatoes.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
CASTOR a Millionaire.

Colonel CASTOR is q millionaire and
the Democrats are well supplied with
funds. His father was once governor
of the State and he espires TO like
honor. The Republicans. while profess
ing confidence. decline TO give figures.
and have sent hurry calls for outside
help Secretary Shaw and Secretary
Moody have responded: Senator Lodge
is Fastening home. and in the last few
days Of the contest will endeavor 10 ire
the Republicans with enthusiasm All OF
the local statesmen Of the party have
their coats of. and are hard at work
The Democrats are claiming Boston by
more than 2000o but 1900 Is probably
nearer the correct figure Democrats
majorities are also claimed in Lynn.
Lawrence. Holyoke and several sms Her
cities. but elsewhere the Republican
vote is heavy. and win doubtless be able
70 overcome anything the Democrats
can roll Up at the Hub. The Socialist
vote is an uncertain factor. and has
been steadily growing in Massachusetts
for ter years Last year the two Social
ist parties polled approximately 5000
votes The Democrats have been en-
deavoring TO win some Of these votes
but with no great degree of success. The
chances are that there VIII be no great
change in the Socialist vote After all
their worry the Republicans will doubt
less come out ahead. but with d reduced
majority
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

President Roosevelts expressions OF
opinion on the Mississippi levee PROPOSE
ton seem to indicate that he thinks IT
Important not only TO attend to the inn
provement of the Philippines and the
arid lands of the West, but TO take care
of the cultivated land which we already
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

There is one sensible woman in the
country, and she lives In Philadelphia
She says that it is all nonsense to talk
about homework being degrading, be-
cause the only way to raise family Is
TO have a home, and the only way to
lave home is to make it pleasant and
keep it so. The discouraging feature Of
her letter is that It is signed Mrs"
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

A seventeen-year-old Fagin has been
caught teaching New York gamins to
steal: but he doubtless reasoned that if
these youngsters intended to become
thieves they needed training just as
much as ANYBODY
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Asking Too Much.

eff were in peril would YOU die for NEE
''Of course / would"
"If you we're rich would you spend all your
money for meY'
"wsn, should say not."-Cincinnati Com
mercfal- Tribune.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Most Unspeakable.

They talk of the 'unspeakable Turk. but
the average Russian is worss''
20. wouldn't say that"
You would if you had ever attempted TO
mention the average Russian by name. Phil
sdelphia Press
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Mismated.

she-Brushsn Palette, the artist, says he's
welded TO his art
He--To judge from his paintings. then. I
should say they were living very unhappiy.-
Boston Globe
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Dowie declares that his son Glad
stone" never in his life kissed a woman
outside of the members Of his immediate
family. II that Is so. all we have to say
for young Gladstone Dowie is that he is
"chump"
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Her Preference.

shall l administer gas before extracting your
tooth?" asked the dentist
WELL" answered the fair patient from a
back township 'if It doesn't cost any more
I'd rather you'd give me electric light. Chi
cago News.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
An Illinois Toast.

Here's 20 the chigger
That amt any bigger
Than the point Of a good-sized pin,
But the bump that he raises
Itches like blazes.
And there's where the rub comes in.
Quincy (IlL) Wing.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Belasco says that in six months New
York will be the worst theatrical town
in the country; but by the time six
months are over New York will have
forgotten all about the warning.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Our illustrious evening contemporary
mentions the wedding Of young woman
at the home Of her adopted mother"
She will probably live at the home Of
her adopted husband
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Some Of Mr.. Bryan's critics are warn
ing him that II ne shows such unseen
~ haste In getting hold of legacies ne
will never, no. never, be President.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

If you happen to have $3.50 anywhere
about your clothes you've got your
share of the circulating medium. ac-
cording to a statement recently made
before the convention Of bankers in San
Francisco.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
A Disappearance.

The Monkey-say. CT, have you seen my
brother?
The Giraffe him making faces at the
lion yesterday, but he hasn't been since since
Pittsburg Chronicle.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Statistics are said to show that the
Japanese are gaining in height; but
whether this is so or not, 1t should be
remembered that wars are decided now
adays not so much by avoirdupois as by
brains and ginger
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Why !?

We wonder why Noah {
Brought DER in his ark
The tick, the mosquito,
The skunk, and the shark!
New Orleans Times Democrat
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

The New York Evening Post" says
in a discouraged tone of voice that the
Presidents easy talk about honesty
sounds as If he had holiday task on
his hands Would the Post" have the
President clean out the rascals on week
Gays and preach rascality on Sundays?
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
The clothes Make the Man.

''why. Jane. that fellow Smithers is one Of
the bomeliest cubs ever laid eyes on"
ooh, but he's just magnificent in his football
clothes.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
In a Lighter Vein.
GEOLOGICAL Guests.

A certain old CRATER from Zion
Was invited to Newport TO dion;
Among the guests there
Were Mr. H. Lefr.
monkey, three dogs. and lion
Milwaukee sentinel.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Well. there is room enough in Neva-
da for an increase in population. but
the trouble-at least one Of them-is
that Senator Stewart never lives there.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

The Germans are making whisky out
of potatoes. and If that art had been
known in Ireland years ago the moon
sinner would have been epidemic there.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

The Hon. Joseph Swager Sherley,
new member of the House of Represent
atives from Kentucky. advertises the
fact in the Congressional Directory that
he Is single man. He wouldn't have
to remain that way long had he been
elected to the Senate.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

King Edward. # is said. has just form
ed the habit OF smoking cigarettes.
We wonder if he saves the coupons.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

The Fusionists are certain to win in
New York next Tuesday. Bunless Tam
many has too Dammany votes.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Most persons have too many other
troubles to worry much about the newly
discovered spots on the sun.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

The man who fired FIVE shots at Pres
ident DIaz without hitting him shoots
exactly like a Spanish gunner.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Happy on the Way.

Partridges a-cailin'
Hick'ry nuts a-fsllin',
Country Jest a-snilin' all around;
Cattle bells a-tinklin',
Silver frost a-Sprinklin'
Spicy.like. an sweetenin' all the ground.
Atlanta Constitution.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
REFLECTIoNS OF A BACHELOR.

some girls arc immodest it embarrasSes
them to ride In a sleeping car.
woman dearly loves 10 get an sfectionate
letter, even il she knows il doesn't mean it.
You can always get woman to go into any
scheme L you show her it viii be a social
distinction.
Once there who wen; into politics
and didn't lose his reputation, bur he tlisln't
have any when he Went in.
It's curious how woman who wouldn't d-
verge an iota from recipe for making cake
will always try 10 improve on the multiplication
table.
New York Press
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Courts and Capitals
of the Old World
By THE MARoUIsE DE FoNTENoY.
Romance of British peerage.

Another romance of the British peer
age Is recalled by the discovery made in
some long closed vaults OF n private
bank in Dublin of a will dated 1906.
bearing the signature of the first Earl
of Landau. who died in that year, and
which by recognizing Arnold Mathew rs
his eldest son, virtually establishes the
claim of the latter's grandson to tho
Earldom of Landau The earldom was
generally believed to have became ex-
tinct In 1898
II seems that the first earl, on his
death in 1906. was succeeded by Francis
James Mathews as second earl. Francis
James had three younger brothers. all
of whom died before him. But what was
not generally known at the time was
that he had likewise an elder brother.
Arnold by name. who had been brought
up in France and of whose existence
the first earl and his countess seldom
spoke. owing to the awkward fact of his
having been born only four months
after their marriage. Arnold was sent
out at the age of sixteen to India as a
cadet in the Bengal Artillery. and, on
growing up. married at Calcutta a
daughter of the Marquis Domonico. PO-
Yoleri, the register OF the marriage BE-
Ing in existence in St. Johns old cathe-
dral church at Calcutta. Rightly speak
ing he should have been the second Earl
Landau. and his failure to assume the
title on the death of his father was
probably due to the fact that he never
cnce returned to Europe after going ont
TO India as boy. and that his time was
so taken up with the continual war in
which England was then involved in
India and elsewhere that he had no
leisure to take any steps to contest his
younger brothers altogether unlawful
assumption Of the earldom and estates.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Eliza was crossing the Ohio on the ice
81 think she said. she lightly skipped
over a cake, Il have beaten even Tom John
sons Scent fare"
Landing lightly on the shore,N she completed
her trip free gratis for nothing.
New York SIM
The Washington times., 1903-10-29
Served at Scinde.

On his death his son. the father of
the present claimant to the earldOm.
continued in 1871 as an officer of the
army engaged under Sir Charles Ma
pier In the conquest of Scinde He re-
ceived numerous letters from his father $
unmarried sister, Lady Elisha Mathews,
who, addressing him as Lord Landau, "
and as her nephew. declared i'm writing
that owing 10 the second earl-that Is to
say, her second brother-having died
suddenly and intestate, she had, in the
absence of her nephew. taken out let
tiers OF administration and assumed pos
session Of the Landau estates. She in
timated to him that she was ready to
surrender them TO him az soon as he
returned. When at the close of the
conquest of Scinde, he at length reached
England, he discovered that she had
died three years previously. leaving a
will devising the whole of his property,
that is to say. the property which she
held in trust for him, to her French
nephew. the Vicomte de Rohan Chabot,
who had become naturaIized and mar
ried a sister Of the Duke of Leinster
Instead Of at once asserting his rights
and making good his claims to the earl
dom and the property. he went abroad
! in disgust. and refused to ever visit
England or Ireland again. He died on
the Continent in 1894 at an advanced
age. leaving a son. the present claimant,
besides tvs daughters
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Adam had just laid the blame on Eve
1T was the best I could do, he explained;
Il had no private secretary to shift II on"
Considering the crudeness Of the times. how
ever, the substitute worked fairly we'll.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Nashville Banner: In this country the stand
patters'' are proteetionists; IN England they are
free-tTaders.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Does the Dragging cornesist who plays Dor
rowed instrument blow his own horni
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

A glorious sunset isn't half 50 attractive to
woman as a diamond sunburst
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

The astronomer may go star-gazing in the
daytime by patronizing the mstinees.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

The vaccine physician and the barber ar,
willing 70 scrape an acquaintance.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

A lay fgnre-the price Of eggs
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Milwaukee Sentinel: Governor La Toilette prob
ably viii remain quietly in the executive Of
Ace until Tom johnson gets through with his
stunt in Ohio and sIrrenAers the stage.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

OF course. you always buy underwear subject
to change.
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

Nothing venture nothing gained Is not
consOling to who has nothing to ven
ttIrP
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

some girls arc immodest it embarrasses
hem TO ride In a sleeping car
The Washington times., 1903-10-29

The teacher often keeps the imperfect scholar
after school for spell