davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
The COMIC PAPERS.

Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World ovcr-sayings thatAre Cheer
fuI to Old or Y~oung-Funny seIec-
tions that Everybody Will Enjoy.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Beginning with baby, and taking all the
f~amily-boys, girls, mama, papa and the old
folks. All Ike Casearets Candy Cathartic
Druggists, l0c, DC, J0c.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13
Easy.

shes made a fool of that young fell
low"
We'll, she didn't have to economlze
on the raw Observation-Disclosures Amer.
lean.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

The ~hollyhoeks bloom by the fence,
In eyerybody's reach.
II they were scarce they would cost
At least n dollar each
Washington Star.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

One day little 6-year-old Bernie fail
ed to spell throw correctly. The
teacher prompted him and he spelled 1t
after her. Spell 1t again." she said.
Throw he replied.
again"
Throw"
again"
"T-h-r-o-w."
"Once MORE" she insisted.
Throw"
Now, what are you spelllngT
again" he answered.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13
Scales Make the Weight.

"0nly a dime. kind sir; I'm starry
ingl'
why, l gave you a quarter only ten
minutes ago."
Yes. but that's to tip the waiter
with"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

"Wordley tells me he has been work
ing on his family tree of late"
"Yes, 1t keeps him pretty busy"
Rather complicated work, ehT'
well. | believe he found a moose
on one of the branches, and he's hav-
ing some trouble saving II off."-Phil-
adelphia Press.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Judgess-What made the Jury agree
so quickly? Why, the ladies' weren't
out more than fifteen minutes.
C~lerkess-It's bargain day at Mon
eymakers'.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Gilt edge security against storm and
stress Of weather in Gilt Edge whisky.
Wichman, Lutgen d Co, $50 Clay, S. f.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Bess-So you are really going to mar
ry young Softleigh, are you?
NelllThat's what.
Bess-Well, 1t will save you the
trouble of hunting one when you get
ready 10 begin housekeeping.
Nell-Hunting what?
Bess-Why, n fiat.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13
Then and Now.

"When l was counting my wife,"
taid the sad-faced man, I'VE were two
souls with but a single thought"
How about you at the present writ
ingY' asked the lnqulsitlve youth.
I'VE still have but n single thought"
replied the proprietor of the sad Wis
age. we both think we made fools
of ourselves"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

He lat the reception)-And you Meth
er sing nor play?
She-No.
He-Then l suppose you either read
or paint?
She-No; my specially is giving iml-
tations of the society young nan
He-How's that?
She-I merely sit around and try to
look intelligent.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

She-Time will heal the wound I've
made In your heart.
He-Yes; but you'll be mad at me If
IL does.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13
Iriudicious intellectually,

Victoria-our club papers are too
long.
Virginia. think so; twice. now, I've
had to come home before refreshments.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

When a man marries he thinks he
has drawn a prize. Afterward he'll
be BANKED If he did.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13
The Crowd Will Scan 1t.

First School GIRLS Miss H~ighgrade
going to read a poem at the commence
ment?
Second School Girl-No; she's going
to wear one.-Baltimore American.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

When a man works hard and does a
thing. the loafers say it lis easy for
him
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Miller's Milwaukee Beer-the best in
market. Spruanee, Stanley q Co, San
Francisco, agents.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Little green summer apples may fill
little Johnnie with soothing syrup or
bird shot.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13
To Break In New shoes.

Always shake in Aliens Foot Ease, a powder.
IL cures hot. sweating, aching, swollen feet.
Cures Corns, Ingrowing Nnis and Bunions.
At all Druggists and shoe stores, 2ic. Don
accept any substitute. sample mailed FREE.
Address Allen 5. Olmsted, lie Roy, y. Y.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Sad, sweet. suffering virtue would
make the most patient ass on earth
kick.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

You cannot always do as you would
like to do, but do as neal like as you
can.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

1t does not do very much good to
lock up the jug after a fellow is para
lived.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Don't whine about what other peo-
pie do, but take care that you do not
do worse.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

A nervous tooth or a idgety diges.
tion can reduce "A man to any old
thing.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

It's a toss.up which is preferable
too much meekness or too much
meanness.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

A mans strength develops when
he has something to do; not when he
is idle.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Just before and after each meal for
ten minutes free your mind from all
cares.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Bacon-The professors education is
wasted.
Egbert-How Is that?
why, he IA speak Ave languages,
but since he married he's hardly been
allowed TO use any of them."-Yonkers
Statesman.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

A little enthusiasm greases ones
elbows and luhricates the whole men.
tai machinery.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

All men are anxious for fame, but
some will accept money as a substi-
tuta.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Mrs. Wederly-oh, John, I've mis-
laid our marriage certificate and can't
find Ii,
Wederly-Oh. don't let that worry
you. I've got a document down at the
office that furnishes ample proof of
cur union.
Mrs. Wederly-What is it, dear?
Wederly-A receipted bill from your
dressmaker.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Some folks think they must talk all
the time to keep their tongues from
growing rusty.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Doctor-Dld those powders l gave
you have the desired effect?
Patlent-NO; my insomnia is worse
than ever.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13
Avoided Profanity.

"Your blank verse; began the ed
itor.
BLANK verse;" the poet interrupted.
"Why do you call it blank verse when
It."
Because It's against my principles
to use a stronger OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Press.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

"She's quite an expert In her line"
Got her business at her fingers
ends, ehg'
mo, at the ends Of other peoples
fingers; she's a manicurlst.-Phila-
delphia Press.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Patient-Yes; why, l can't even go
to sleep now when 1t is time to get
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13
Why He Prayed.

Rodrick-Yes, our minister prayed
for rain.
Van Albert-Was there a drought?
Rodrick-No. but he knew If it rain
ed Sunday people would not play golf.
He likes a big congregation.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

Warden-Yes. He left behind him a
note to the governor Of the State be-
ginning, L hope you will pardon me
for the liberty I'm taking. "-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

SHt-Is Tt TtdIIY IIUt lHHI lHC UIIHu
can determine color by the sense of
touch?
He-Sure. | onc knew a blind man
who was able to tell a red hot stove by
merely putting his finger IN 1t.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13
Merry.

Vaudeville was the coolest and
most thoughtful convict that ever
broke Jail.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

When you get a good old case of
"'papsy lalsn take any old thing ex-
cept the advice of your friends.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13
An Enthusiastic Parent.

BODby-MH-
Ma-What's 1t, Bobby?
B~obby-Pa hollers so loud at base
ball at he makes my headache.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1903-08-13

The person with health and happi.'
ness is rich without a dollar.
Be wiser than other people if you
can, but do not tell them go.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-10-16
GAY BOY WON
JAMAICA STAKES
A 9-to.2 Shot Took the Event
in a Drlve-Other
Winners.
(By Associated Press.)

NEW YORK, October 15.-Gay Boy, al
to Q, won tho Jamaica stakes, the fea-
ture event on the card at Brighton Beach
to-day He was neck In front OF In
gold, With the favorite, Ascension, third,
four lengths back. The field ran woll
punched to the stretch, where Gay Boy
went to tho front and won In drive.
The handicap at one and quarter
miles went to the favorito. Caughnawasa.
The weather was clear and cool, and the
track fast Three favoritcs won. Jockey
O'Neil rode three winners. Summarizes
First race-one mile and sixteenth
Caviar teven and to p first. DR.. Bis
sell 900 to y second, Blue Victor % to p
third. Time. 40
Second race-sx furlonEs-High Cham
ccllor q to and OUT first, Toscan Qa
to s. second, Prince Ching 60 to y third.
Time, :13
Third race--handicap, one mile and
Observation-Disclosures u to - first Sher-
Ire Belle 6 to u second, Wyefeld q to y
third. Time. 2:07 IS.
Fourth racc-the Jamaica Stakes, six
furlongr--Gay Boy g TO o first. 1ngold
&c to Is sccoEd, Ascension g TO 81 third.
Time. :13 2-5.
Fifth race--selling, six furlongs-Sourira
q to p first, Bob Murphy Us to u second,
Monet Il to y third Time. ia.
Sixth race-selling, ono mile and SIX
teenth-vvidow's Mite Is to u first, Char
mel q to u second. Bolna Is TO 81 third.
Time, IS AS.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-10-16
MONTE CARLO WON
Took the Ri:h Mcdowell Stake-The
Other Results of The Day.
{By Associated Press.)

LEXINGTON. KY, Oct. 15.-The cher
interest in the trotting races to-day cen.
tered in the seventh and deciding heat OF
the rich Mcdowell stake for 2:lO trotters.
Monte Carlo. Hawthorne and Dr. StT9.sE.
tho Starters in the seventh heat to-day.
had each taken two heats yesto! day,
Monte Carlo. favoritc in the pooling at
81, 10 $50 TOR the fed, composed Y. tne
other two horses. won the heat ana the
Although the track was fast. Dan Patcli
did not start against time to-day, as was
announced. on account OF the "eather
conditions. Summarizes ~,
First race--the Mcdowell stake LOT ~
trotters, purse $500. unfinished Weahcs.
day-Monte Carlo won the seventh neal
and race: DR.. Strong. second: Ha"thofhe'
third Best time. 200 ia. .,ooo
Wilson 2:2o class, uottng, purse s.'op,
Hal Chaffin won the first: se e1r1 l ana
ond; pan Michael. third. Best Tune,
2:OS 81. :, o,o
2:16 claI,. trotting. purse Sl.coo-Gracle
Keller won two straight heats and race;
Direct View. second: Mlllard SANDERS
third. Best time. 2:l1 IL. ,,
2:o2 class. pacing, purse a.,VU',iiaIolu
H. won two straight heats ana race ace;
Ncryolo. second: Dan r., th,rd. Best
time 2:oi IL. -, ono po.s,e
Brown won two straight heats and race;
r. 81 Wood. second The Parson. third.
Best time, 9:l9 3-i
Amateur drivers to wagon--Iurner -.
Won The second and third heats and race;
Sonlro. second; The Pos'man. th'ro' Dos.
time o:g1
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-10-16

two or three days had disappeared yes
terday, several prominent men navlns
gone home. but there were q humoer oi
new faces, for there were many belated
arrivals.
Colonel Rorer A. James. of DanYil!e.
former member of the State sen
and of the Governors staff, proprietor
and editor of the Danville Register and
the Danville Bee. a politician ever since
he cast his first ballot, not SO many
years ago az his thinning hair would
Indicate, arrived yesterday and was At
Murphy's throughout the afternoon he
declared he couldn't say anything con
corning politics and then talked nothl1's
else. Colonel James is one or the pest
| informed men on matters Political III
| Virginia and what he says counts Tor a
great deal with the politicians. Colonel
James spent good portion Of last sum
| mer out at East I2adford and seems 10
have put In much of the time familiar
| izing himself with political conditions IN
the Sixth and the Ninth Districts. but
he positively refused to talk for print
Senator Garrett, of Henry county, ar.
rived yesterday and will remain untl
tomorrow night or Saturday Mr., Gar
| rett SAWS there is no doubt Of the re-elec-
ton of Hon. w. II. Gravely to the House,
though the Republicans and independents
are working hard to defeat him. The
drought has had most dire ERECT upon
crops In Henry and the farmers arc de-
pressed, But the fruit crop OF Henry
and Patrick Is very fine.
CAPTAIN Frank h. Watkins, sergeant NJ
arms of the State Senate, came down
from Charlottesville yesterday. He talk
ed politics but very little, but was ready
to talk turkey hunting by the hour He
Is said to have killed more WILD turkey
than any other man In Virginia, excep'
possibly Hon, Arch Withrow, OF Bath
county @3 4m
Senator William Stands, of southamp
ton county, Is here seeing the SNOW
Mr. Stands career In politics, though
brief. has been most remarkable. fol'
years ago he defeated Hon. Dick Boykln'
OF Isle of Wight, for denomination 20 tlie
Senate. lTe got seat IN the Democracy
caucus only after a TREMENDOUS strussle
1t was understood at the tlmo mat MI
Stands, coming from county W w!lo'
opposition TO Senator Martin was stTons
OF than in any other In Virginia, wa'
in favor of almost anybody else lot III
United States Senate He now laVors
the reelection OF Senator Martin, All
OF which goes to show that politics ma.
easily become funny.
Hon, s. Gordon Cumming. melhper
the House from Hampton, seems NO,
Interested In the work of the -eglslatui
at the approaching session than IN POI,
tics, Mr.. Cumming said here this Wee'
he did not think the Revision COMMITTEES
would complete Its work by the time IN
Legislature reconvened Mr.. Boaz, mem
, her of the House FROM Albemarle, am
, one OF the Revision Committee. SAID yes
tee would be through work when th'
Legislature meets again on the 10Th o
November
Representative swanson and Senate
, Daniel who have been here Gay o
two, went to Norfolk last night 70 AT
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-10-16
LOOK OUT" FOR LOUISA
Good Horse. Show Joke on Former
Resident O that County.

A good Joke is told OH citizen whose
native county is Louisa, ami whose love
for his old home is well known. He de-
lights in the achievements of Louisians,
and at the Horse Show the other night
he was anxious for the class to appear
which had high Jumper from tho go q
old county. He frequently expressed the
desire that the time for the entry of
the jumping class would roll around.
and when the horses and their fair riders
appeared he was excited and thrilled
pointing out to his friends the noble nag
from Lolilsa--"Ah! there she comes look
out for Lousa!"
Louisa came to the first fence III pretty
style, but unfortunately knocked 1t down
and fell to her knees, the rider superby
holding the animal up. An old gentleman
who had been attracted by the loyal
Louisan's conversation reached over ield
touched his arm, remarking. "Pardner,
I believe you're right about looking out
for Louisa. for at that lick she may
knock the rniling and boxes down and
hurt somebody And the boys are now
guying the Loyal Louisan." who de-
cares that accidents will happen In the
best regulated conditions"
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-10-16
NzzlzYaz1gzA&
4zAs 9 Z2,2Zzzzzzz2a

honor. The crowd recognized the buglcr
who had charmed them with his music
and they were liberal In the applause they
accorded him.
After the ribbon had been placed on
Paul's headstall, and Mr. Fownes started
the team around the ring, There was
something of mtH-up. Paups swingle-
tree dropped from the pole and the leader
plunged considerably. Mr.. Fownes never
lost control however. and the grooms
were at the horses head like lightning.
In an instant everything was ship-shape
again, and the winners were driven out
amid great applause from the audience.
A murmur of applause rlppled over the
vast assemblage when the first OF the
ladies' turnouts came into the ring. and
this gradually increased to roar as enc
after another of faultlessly gotten UP
phaetons were driven in. A lady handled
the ribbons in each case, and a livcried
footman sat in the rumble.
There was q splendid list of entries
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-10-16

,.,,,,, i, .,.s.. ,yrs 1obn Gerken's
Nnu.ho,, ~. ~, -. shon C;lrl, eli. M,
second. Nv 81 ~, NV Gorken,s Brandon,
~, nl, I,oi noi,. Oh o. third; Mrs
W G. r: VIII -, e. rorn,,In. br. g., and
pru,us ~. !. in rarr,h
CAS- o. - I, g. horscs three years
oid and ~ saunders prince
shir,nv !, " fi.st CARRIER & Garbor's
.rrmti, ~ 81 aao,,d. w otto Nolting's
taa poai, M. seeo"u mia. 7. e, Jones
I,,,.a .s ~. CIV g.. So,
class n n, &" ro.' ,o,ms. required to be
.,,o,,,,, ~ fo. .i'ee." nronriote vehicle
nn ~ oI - va ~ as.' panl snapshot
~, v,r,;,,;, e,,..t. NJ 7 "A. M, eros.
, unu IN. 1.s' t,ine isynr cole and
CIV. . Lle.,e s,oE W. i, woodcnd' s
n I.an,,., sesora' e, ~ and santos
.3.,., pa'o'' 0ii"''''
'n III, ~ o, ,,., .,,,,o,,s. hest SINGLE
Slass ". sln ,aa,. ~ drive. shown
ilois. sul.ao'e ~, a au' ,eh,cle. ladies' to
5 .i.. Az, a.. app crosvenor's Con.
, u,sr W., - ,,ro.. ~ ", F.. Woodends
~, D.;,,, g., t"ss' socond: Mrs John
n rss 't Man,, W.. Oh e. third; Mrs
us'Ne,' Hsf,,,iS,ss roro,ln br. g..
,o,,r+h "''"''
'1 Gia ,"' aepo,,.s mt exceeding thit-
.sn., i,,,,,s l.. ,,ar,ass--Dr. W. %. Wood
a,a,, rnta, - pn,naiI nix e. first T..
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-10-16

and the appearance made was IL splendid
one. Tho ladies We're handsomely gowned.
and their horses seemed to appreciate
the occasion, for they stepped higher and
arched their grand necks with oil tho
pride of equine royalty. rHe%
Mrs. Grosvenor's Conqueror. driven by
Miss Geschobere, won the blue ribbon.
while DR.. Woodend's King Brilliant was
second, Mrs John Gcrken's Bclmar. an
exceedingly handsome chestnut gelding.
won the third honor. while the fourth
went to Mrs, Williams Tarqun.
An interesting part OF the exhibition. of
the class was the elaborate toilets of the
ladies. Mrs. Woodend wore q particularly
handsome gown of red that was very be-
coming TO her. Miss Geschcbere was also
very handsomely gowncd.
| The magnificent crowd, we'll pleased
| with the harness classes exhibition, were
| simply delighted with the last three
| events, all hunter classes. and indeed,
with the pony class which preceded 1t.
The next class called into the ring was
! thnt for ponies in harness, tho require
ments being that all entries must have
good manners and be shown before an
appropriate vehicle; ponies not to ex-
coed thirteen hands There was four en-
tries in this competition, but one OF them,
| Mr., Duncan Wrlght's McRae. was dis
qualified by the judges as not
being up to standard. This left three, Mr..
Wright's Druid, a SNOWY and beautiful
brown stallion Lassie. a pretty bay
mare owned by Z, Strudwick. Jr, and
driven by Mr., II. c. Beattin, and Mrs.
W. L. Woodends tiny black gelding,
Peter Powell. only ten hands and two
inches in height, driven by his owner.
Mr., Wright handled the reins ever Druid
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1903-10-16
T|LLMAN DECLARED
NOT GUILTY
Continued From First page.>
apparent throughout the room. No OBJ
ta,+to, ~,oe nffprc1

apparent throughout the room. NO OBJ
lection was offered.
HIS FRIENDS VOClFEROUs.
1t took but an instant to read the YER
dict and when the words mot guilty
were pronounced, some of tho friends OF
the defendant gave vent to their fcehngs
in n shout The previous admonition OF
the court did not prevent the demonstra-
ton.
Tho motion OF counsel for the defense
for the discharge of the defendant was
Immediately signed by Judge Gary, the
solicitor asserting and Mr.. Tillman was
at liberty. When the legal fornalitles
had been gone through with, Mr.. III
man walked up to the bench ana shooh
hands with the judge, after which nc
shook the hand Of each Of the Jurors, ana
later was surrounded by his friends, VINO
extended their congratulations
He departed from the court room ~
company with his attorneys put letl
them at tho front door TO 80 across t,e
street to the jail for the purpose OF gain
eriug up his effects. IIc has been In
custody since January 18th, his aprlica-
ton for bail having been refused.
Mrs. Tillman and his mother were not
in tha courtroom when the verdict was
announced, but tho former had been APP
prIsed OF an agreement and was at tlie
jail to await the announcement. no
mother had heard at her hotei' some
two blocks away, that the jury had come
IN and was Fastening on her way TO tho
courthouse. when she met her son COM
ing out on the street. Learning the re-
suit she threw her arms around his neck
and manifested her 10Y In silence. Later
all were at the hotel, where Mr.. Tillman
met friends and relatives and also had
long talk with his attorneys. Senator
| Tillman was not present to-day. having
| gone yesterday 10 his home at trenton,
/ where his wife is recovering from injuries
received in A. runaway accident A tclc-
gram was hastily sent him advising him
| Of the outcome.
FIRST BALLOT 10 TO ..
The long-dra.wn dellberaton OF the
| Jury and the failure to report into court