The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-05-27
HUSKY HECTOR AND HORTENSE.

stories I'm Health Magazines.
From the Chicago Tribune.
Hector Halfgrone was slender man,
but, o, he was so kind hearted:
1t was this latter quality, more than
his sweetness, which attracted the adj
miration of Hortense Skillumus. Miss
Skillumus was the only daughter of old
Pete Skillumus, who had amassed
comfortable fortune in the railroad
business by leading his stock out to
water in the early dawn and feeding
it to the lambs while the Stock TX
change remained open.
But, alas, in these days, when every
body should know how beneficial II Is
to practice deep breathing and hammer
throwing, Hector Halfgrone had neg
lected his physical development. One
round at the two step sent him TO MS
corner, and a hundred yard dash at
polka simply put him under the ropes.
He was keenly sensitive on this score,
and his feelings may be imagined when,
at d grand ball given by her father. ne
was dancing with Hortense. he had
waltZed until he felt a stringhalt COM
ing on and was about to suggest that
they sit out the rest of the dance, Wnen
up stepped Bill Magoomus, who had
risen to affluence through discreet man
vertible into a coal cart, and who had,
as soon as he acquired sufficient money
to give a freak dinner simply done a
flying wedge into society. Imagine MS
| feelings, as we said about half mile
| back-that is, Hector Halfgrone's feel
| ings-when Bill Magoomus stepped up
to him and took him by the collar and
| tore him rudely from the side of MISS
Hortense Skillumus, laughing coarsely
| and saying:
'cWhy, Horty, can't you find any
thing better than this mackerel to
dance with? Allow me to enter. as
six-days- go -you-please twostepper,
Walter, polkadotter or mazurker."
AS Hector picked himself up from
under the chairs he could not but see
that the sweet face of Hortense was
| suffused with smiles and he heard her
| soft tones murmuring something
about mackerels. He waited until they
had swung about the room and then
boldly stepped up to Bill Magoomus
and said:
"Sir, you are ungentlemanly and I'M
| refined. I shall have my revenge"
| Jaw, go get some chewing gum"
was the ill-bred retort of the big ruff
| fan, as he lifted Hortense from the
| floor and shouted "Lauderbach!"
| Let us step forward six months,
thereby escaping much of the hot
weather, to say nothing of arriving at
| the conclusion of this story.
Hector Halgrone had gone gloomily
from the Skillumus mansion, out into
the silent night. He cast his eyes UP
to the dreaming stars and vowed a
| deep vow of vengeance. Then he pur-
sued his way down the street, and had
almost overtaken it, when his eye es-
| pied a copy of the Health Seekers
Own Magazine and Compendium of
Muscle Building" on a newsstand. An
| inspiration struck him. He purchased
| the magazine, and for the next six
! months he spent all his time bending,
biting, boxing and bullying. At the
| end of that time his biceps stood out
like $500 burls on walnut tree, and
he had to have his trousers entirely
remodeIed. His neck squa tied into his
shoulders as if he had been sitting
under pile-driver and his chest jut-
! ted out in front like a shelf
1t was at the end of these six months
that Hector Halfgrone was again in
vited to the Skillumuses to dance. He
went. He arrived late He came into
the ball room just in time to see husky
Bill Magoomus Waiting with Hortense,
who had grown more and more beau
tiful.
Excuse me-" said Hector, stopping
the pair, but I believe 1 will finish
! that waltz
Say" retorted Magoomus. "Tn get
some fly paper and catch you if you
don't"
Before his could finish his scurrilous
remark. Hector Halfgrone had swatted
him in the eye, twisted his neck, raped
him in the ribs and ended by hurting
him through stained glass window,
while the guests looked on, amazed.
For some seconds-it seemed days
there was heard a terrible crash as
| Bill Magoomus went through the roof
| of a hanson cab on the street, far, far
| below.
| Come, Hortense," murmured Hec-
| tor Halfgrone, shooting his cuffs to
! their proper position.
With a low sigh of delight, the beau
! tiful girl sank into his arms
1t was a bitter lesson to Bill Magoo-
mus.