The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-07-12
FUN OF THE WORLD.


Not long ago. a manager OF Paris theatre Nho was
giving gala performance. sent note to newspaper.
saying that evening clothes de rigueur An Anieri
tourist dress-suit heme rented
box. asked manager apPe1- q sack
Impossible. said manager. Then give
the money said American Again impossible; the
money already deposited" The American
getting angry inspiration
TO the perplexed manager. Cher monsieur permit me-
he CRIED we are of the same size have three SUITS
accept one beg you" situation the
American present that night Now he and the
the best OF friends.
< z
The Pullman company has a demand on F. p
wooson prominent Christian Denver for
two hundred dollars the sleeper in which he
recently made his bridal trip It that the
by wooistons friends decorated unique
manner Mems and woren's shoes and old horseshoes
and banners and things nailed the windows of the
Pullman sleeper. inside and Nails driven into
the with much abandon it had been picket
fence When the seepe< back Denver from Ogden
it is said that looked been the target for
Calling gun 1t taken out of service and put
the shops, and the Pullman company is trying to
make Woolston pay for the repairs
While in Canada Lord and Lady Iansdowne pleased
the Canadian people their friendly unassuming
manners. which were in marked to those of
former and their wives IL is related
that a garrison ball Halifax regi
ment that giving the dance up Lady Lans
downe and said: Lady Lansdowne. won't you give
i
little colonial girls. They have style believe I'm
engaged them the dance you might
be kind enough me-" Lady Iansdowne replied
in loud enough for everybody hear. that
colonel unfit to associate with decent people
colonial otherwise way
treat guests will relieve you of the presence
IF of them once Then she ordered carriage
and left the ball.
Z z g
Apropos of amphitheares. in Rome encountered
in the Colosseum fellow tourist who like
Marius broken column looking like
of red-woodtree Jerome Hart. He trying
his bearings with Italian bay Rome He had
look profound bewilderment stopped and
asked him If could be of help him. His
tenance lighted up Immediately sound of
Ameriean-Engsh and he replied:
Why, sir. you can. for fact. Here's a map
bought from pedder the street and it's all Eyeal-
IAN 1 asked him to show the Colosseum. and he
that this all right But the feler's map I
this place has another nameA n-fte-a-t-r-o Fla
viano. Now what does that mean? Is this Colos-
amt it?"
Yes 1 replied 'you are in the Colosseum But
believe the Italian mapmakers generally Fla
Wan ampitheatre."
they do, replied the aggreved compatriot;
why don't they call it by its erect nance"
l had just been the point of adding: Don't you
member Macauays famous line about the gladiatoriaI
combats and Vd-beast shows here-'when camelopards
bounded in the Flavan amphitheatre? " But after the
blast concluded that my recall the
line, instead said "goodday.'' Ten
ward him trying climb the gate
der the arena. which forbidden" When left he
threatening the police officer who him with
the vengeance of the United States.
x
Colonel William Jennings Bryan an enthusiastic live
stock breeder and fine Poland China pigs
A L. Sullivan, neighbor of Mr. Bryans whose politics
pretty definitely indicated by fact
treasurer Lancaster county two or three times
is also interested in Poland Chnas. reasons that
stockmen well understand Mr.. Bryan and Mr.. Sullivan
agreed time that would be
advantage to exchange herd breeders. relates the
braska State Journal. The gentlemen quickly
terms ard Mr.. Bryan drove the Sullivan
deliver his part the trade After pig
behind Sullivan fence. Mr. Bryan said. a
OF embarrassment: Sullivan. there's little
in regard to that pig that perhaps ought to tell
The father of that hog registered the herd
under the name o Sixteen to one.
Never mind that Mr. Bryan" said Mr.. Sullivan.
asurngy. that's all right there's something I may
well tell The grandfather of the pig traded you
named Mark Hanna"
Bryan tells the story stops \ friend
who listened it the other day satisfied. how
What did you do with your Hanna hog. Mr. Bry
an?" inquired We'll" said Mr.. Bryan. 7 didn't
responsible for the of his tribe dis
posed him. you could find him Sulli-
MS"
x g ss
Tom -O'Rourke a for the gentle Of
repartee And unlike admirers Of that particular
wit, he appreciate readily in another
n himself the following incident shows O'Rourke
and friends stroIng along the Rialto day
ago when a miserably dressed man approached
Excuse me, sir he said 20 ORourke. but You
obige with quarter? prosperous like you
had and clothes and horses and lots Of other
things and"
Well" interrupted ORourke. why didn't you in those
flush times lay by something for rainy day.
did sir" said the sadly. nut about every day
since June has been a rainy day, and 50 -
Here's your quarter" laughed 0 Rourke.
<
''Dadb1rn you" said a Chicago mikman the drug
gist I've a notion to prosecute you'
What's the natter asks the druggist
Matter enough. you swindler, That last barrel a
forualdehyde you sold adulterated That's whats
the natter I thought you honest sold
people pure goods"
Continuing Tnutter himself relates the Tribune.
with intensity Of his passion. Tire
rnkman climbs into his wagon ard drives away. after
leaving a bottle OF milk for the druggists family.
<
When Mark Twain young Ne met
river Western fellow whose foot had been IN
tured oblig1ng hin Indian noccasln Marx
him unt the other demanded with irTits
ton had him before re looked the
toner over and drawieS- 'Wsiiyo1rf sfarniilar
Then be dropped hts eyes the deck WITH troubled
frown Observation-Disclosures r-faetF