davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1903-05-23

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TAKING
When you take GROVES TAsTELss CHILL
Tonic because the formula is plainly
printed on every bottle showing that it
Is simply Iron and Quinine in a taste
less form. No Cure, No Pay. SOC.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1903-05-23

Only a few sacks of seed rice
left, call and see-L. Bienvenu.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-18
A Literary Letter.
zBY RICHARD LIE eALLlENHE. <

TALKING of literary fashions and cpl
denies. Miss Carolyn Wells recently
= published Nonsense Anthology" is
perhaps the first serious Gf one may use
the world recognition of a literary cult
which the historian would be called upon
the note as characteristic of the last
quarter of the past century. and particu-
larly of the last ten years. Edward Lear.
Lewis Carroll, and w. S. Gilbert are its
great masters, but from them has arisen
quite a school of brilliant nonsense
mongers and writer's of what one may
gene-alIy term Preposterous Verse. Pure
aE1 absolute nonsense of high order is,
as Miss Wells points out. as rare as. in
deed much rarer than. pure and absolute
poetry; and it is to be feared that her an
thology itself proves the infrequent oc-
currence of the cast of mind that goes
to the making of really amusing-or i'm
pressive-nOnsense. LaboTiOus imitation
Of the spontaneous Inspirations of the
masters is found to be no less common
here than in other fashions of song. and
the painfully ''un-funny'' cOntOrtions CT
the self-made funster-'to coin a word a"
as Mr.. Chauncey Depew might say-is
too often in evidence. For example, Miss
Wells inevitably begins her anthology
with that Gnapproachable peak of the
prepOSterouS, Lewis CARROTS 'Jabber-
wocky"-a masterpiece which. while
strictly speaking. it is made of quite
meaningless nonsensical words. does at
the same time convey very distinct and
powerful meaning. Indeed, it can only
be called amusing in quite a secondary
sense, its main impression rather is one
of serious imaginative terror. It thrills
one like some nanelesS horror in d dream
and is the exact, and, so far as I know,
the only, literary equivalent of night
mare. Our first ripple of amusement TO
the grOtesque words dies down as our
hair begins to bristle with its curdling
significance. The very words writhe ana
welter like some shuddering tangle of
half-formed monsters of the prime:
- Twas briIlig, and the siithy toves
Did eyre and gimble in the wabe;
All lnimSy were the bOrogoves,
And the nome raths outSabe.'
Surely it is a pity that our pure pleas
ure in this strange originality should be
discounted by such base limitations as
bulk too large in Miss Wells anthology
a contre occur, I have no doubt. This
for example:
when sporgles spanned the floreate
mead
And cogwogs gleet upon the lea.
Uffia COPIED to NETT her love
Who smeeged upon the equat sea-
This merely serves to illustrate how diff
ferent apparently the same thing can be.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-18

An tn same | like Andrew Carnaygie-
Him an me ARE agreed on that point
Ike him because he amt shaned 10 give
publicly. Ye don't find him putin on
false vhiskers an turnin' Up his coat col
lar whin he goes out to be BENEVOLENT.
No. sir. Ivry time he dhrops a dollar, it
makes a noise like a waiter failin down
stairs with a tray IN dishes. He's givin'
tn way we'd all ike TO give. 1 niRer put
anything in tn poor box but 1 wud il
Father Kelly wud rig it up like wan "
thin slot machines so that whin I put
in nickle me name mud appear. over tn
altar in red letthers- But win / ppt
dollar in tn plate, ] get back about two
wards an hurl it so hard that tn good
man turns around to see who done il. Do
good be stealth, SAYS l. but see that tn
burglar alarm is set. Amy BENEVOLENT
money 1 hand out l want to talk about
me Him that giveth TO tn poor. they
say. lindeth to tn Lord. but in these days.
we look f'r quick rayturns on our twist
mints. like Andrew carnaygie, an as
he says. he puts his whole soul into tn
wurruk.'
whats he name be that?'' asked Mr.
Henncssy.
.'He Names" said Mr.. Dooley, that
he's gin roGs. Ivry time he gives libry,
he gives himsilf away in d speech.
Copyright, 1919, by Robert Howard Rus
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-18
Headstrong.

Carroll, very likely, would have peevishly
repudiated such a serious Interpretation
of the '.Jobberwocky'' as I have adj
vanced here but he was the last man TO
understand his own strengths and weak
nesses. and the fact that he made the
"Jabberwocky'' as a joke, casually at an
evening party. does not necessitate our
taking it as a joke. 1t is indeed good
joke. bat it is that in it which goes be-
yond the joke which makes il SO vitality
original. Actually, of course Carroll Gid
not originate a language. but. IKE other
literary pioneers. he turned an existing
vernacular or. more cOrrectly speaking
applied a vernaculaF method, 10. a1erary
uses. His grOtesque yecs D.. ii4ry- is prac-
tically the same mobile, haIf-artieulate
language with which mothers have talked
to their babes since the beginning, and
closely resembles that nonsense-i impress
sionism employed by lovers when their
hearts are too happy for dictionary
words and must needs overflow in baby
talk. Actors. too, have long been ac-
customed to employ their innocent leisure
in the elaboration of a similar volapuk.
Such popular explosives as the old ''lilli-
bulero" or the modern ta-ra-ra-boom-de-
ay'' belong to the same worldwide Ian
guage, and the wealth of America in
such preposterous neologisns is ilustrat-
ed by the cryptic wisdom of Mr.. George
AIDE and the polyglOt passion of Mr.. Wal
lace Irwin's .Hoodlum":
''Then shall I shine and be the great
main squeeze.
The warm gazook. the only on the
bunch.
TIE Oklahoma wonder. the whole cheese,
The baby with the Honolulu hunch-
That will bring Name to tlme-l should
say yes.
Amt my dough good as Murphy's2 Well.
l guess
OF course the sonnets in which the poor
hoodlum unlocked his heart are not to be
classed as nonsense-yerse; they belong
to the broader field of Preposterous
Verse and hover between parody and al
most serious dialect poetry They give
one that peculiar pleasure which We find
in the anonymously absurd expressions
of deep and tender feeling. the same
pleasure in a less degree that Mr.. Chew
alters cockney lOve-songs give us.
Mr.. LEiser's Love Sonnets of an office
Boy approach still nearer to the domain
of serious sentiment:
"she's. back to work again; I'm awful
When she was sick it seemed to me as
The clocks all got to goin' kind of slow.
And every key she pounds looked kind
of sad
It's tough to have to hear her coughin'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-18

wish that I could take her cold and
she
Would know 1 took it. and not have to
Her nose no more. and be as well as
me.
spoon.
seen her Hclzin' it this morning when
She took a dose and put it down again,
And when the rest went out while at
I got her spoon and licked it, and it
As though it all was something nice I
dreamed"
To return to the field of pure non
sense. perhaps the prevailing fashion at
the moment is best illustrated by these
anonymous examples, in which preposter-
BUSINESS comes in through a cynical IN
dersta tement:
Susan poisoned her grandmother's tea;
Grandmamma dies in asonee.
Susan's papa was greatly vexed,
And he said to Susan, My dear, what
and:
Baby sat on fhe window-seat;
Mary pushed Baby into the street:
BabYs brains were dashed out in the
And mother held up her fOrefinger at
Mary
The fun. of course, here is in the at
fectation of a cynical Obtuseness, parody
ing by contrast the primness of the old
fashioned propriety rhymes for early
Victorian children. Similar fun is got out
of zoology by those most entertaining
''nonsensists''. Mr.. Oliver Herford and
Mr.. Gelett Burgess. 1t must be strange
to Mr.. Gelett Burgess to think that MS
reputation was made by 1.-The Purple
Cew." and how much better that has
awaited to make US aware of him than all
his delicate fancy and fine lyric gift But
even delicate wares need posters nova
DAYS to call attention to them-thOugh
there is really no essential difference be-
tween Gautier's scarlet waistcOat and
Burgess Purple Cow For "a man who
wishes to get a hearing the first step is
to make some sort of noise, as loud as
possible After the thunder of prelimin-
AIRY advertisement has died down. there
may have gathered an audience for the
still small voice.
One of the most satisfactory sections of
Miss Wells anthology is that of parody,
and here it will doubtless surprise some
readers to whom Mr. Swinburne's
anonymous book of parOdies, ''Heptalogia
Or the Seven Against Sense is unknown,
to find how cleverly Mr.. Swinburne fore
saw and improved the opportunities for
ridicule in his own manneriSmS- He has
often been parodied, consciously and
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-18
DUNNE.

as libraryans or cooks an their happy
little childher playin' through tn marble
cOrrydors, Andrew Carnaygie wud not
have lived in vain Maybe that's tn
ony way he knows how to live. / don't
believe in libries. They pauperize lithera-
choor. I'm FIR helpin tn boys that's now
on tn JOB. 1 know pOte in Halsted
sthreet that wanst wrote a pOme begin
min All tn wealth Nv Ind that he sold
to a magazine FIR two dollars. payable on
publication. Lithrachoor don't need ad
vancin'. What it needs is advances FIR
III Iithrachoors- Ye can't shake down
posterity FIR tn price.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-18

if he had to choke some Nice Girl in
order 10 force her to say Yes" He was
all keyed up for Matrimony and the next
1hlng to do was to choose the Lucky
Bride
Horace had done more or less rehears-
ing and he was wise to the Fact that
It is just as easy to love a Girl who has
the Coin as it is to get dippy over the
Honest Working Girl Some Men mag
Inc that the Foxy Play is 20 grab of
something that never owned any sun
bursts ard Sable Wraps and probably
she will be satisfied with Department.
Store Turquoises and Imitation Lambs
Wool
But Horace observed that those who
never had been strong enough to throw
on the Lugs while they were living al
home, We're the very ones who put crimps
into the Bank Account before the Honey
moon played out
Horace often suspected that some OF
them hooked up merely 10 get a Whacb
at the Finery- But then Horace was a
regular old Cynic
So he decided that be would pick One
whose Folks had already bought for her
about everything she would need.
After travelling the Beat for a month
and putting down Names in his Pocket.
q
around the name of Lucille and the same
Day he sent her some Orchids and a New
Book that he knew she would Enjoy, be-
cause it had such a Sweet Love Story
running through it.
Soon after that, the Girl at Central be
gan 10 know all about the Progress of
the Affair. Lucille was all around the
NeighbOrhOod assuring People that al
though Horace had flesTl- asseiv 10 her
and she esteemed him as one of her dear
est and klndest Friends, there was really
and truly nothing doing. Consequently,
every one could see how it was going to
turn out.
Horace had fondIy supposed that the
Recipe fo- becoming engaged was simply
TO warm up to the Girl until he could
Hold Hands without using Brute Force.
and then wait for the Psychological
Moment. so one Night when Lucille
looked up into his Eyes and said he was
different from any other Gentleman she
had ever met, he came back with the
speech Her only Reply was to slip him
one of Papa's Business Cards which she
had ready for the Occasion.
Go and square yourself with him. said
Lucille.
Next Morning, Horace. wearing his best
Bib and Tucker (alsO SOdc.0 Goose PIN
ples), was shown into Papas office First
he had to tell all about his Assets and
his Business Experience. but that didn't
take long Then he told how much he
saved every Month If he swelled it a
little, it was because he IOveG the Girl
After he had answered all the Questions
he had 20 sit and listen to that well
known MenOlOgue which is the Prize Spe-
cialty of the Self-Made Party who began
Life by working for 81 per Month and
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-18
GEORGE RDE

saving So of it. LuciUe's Father said that
4oung Men nowadays are too extrava-
CANT and not half as Industrious and
hee1 as he had been about the Time that
ne ESCAPED from the Farm He sat there
and hurled Bouquets at himself until his
Arm gave ont, after which &c told Horace
20 so anu fix it with LuciHes 2tolher
Mother wanted TO know rirst If he
was willing TO be married in the Episco-
palian Church. He had to tel an about
his Family. She seemed much relieved
when she learned 5hat lie had Relatives
M Virginia Horace knew THAI part Of
II would be al right-uIlIess she should
happen 70 see the Relatives some day.
She told him why a House was prefer
able 10 a Flat and scratched two or three
OF his Suggestions Tor Eshers- After
letting him know that he would cut but
little Ice at the Ceremony. she suggested
that he go over ard make himself solid
with UnCte Samuel. because he had been
accustomed to hold Lucille on his Knee
when she was a mere Tot
And, Of course. that gave him right to
butt in on all Family Issues
Uncle Samuel asked Horace what
Church he attended regularly. The only
thing that saved Horace was that he
happened to remember the Name OF
Questions about Drinking and Smoking,
but Uncle pinned him down. so ne said
, that he had been tempted bat ne hdd not
fallen. as yet.
After running the Family Gauntlet,
Horace heaved q Sigh OF Relief, and be-
ieved that ne had clinched all the Pre-
iiDinaries. Not so. he had forgotten to
fix it up with his Firm
An Employe carr so on tlle outside and
DO almost anything and the Firm viii
not interfere. but the Minute ne talks
Marry. then old Mr. Side-W hiskers sends
LOT MN 10 come to the Private Office.
me reason for this IS that every Antique
N the w hOleSale District has lot of
ctlt-and-dried Advice which ne loves to
unload on anyone who is compelled 10
stand for 1t. So Horace learned from his
respected Boss that for two or three
ears the Couple should live On Cereal
Food and make their own Clothes
The next Bunch of Warning and Advice
came frOm the True Friends at the Club.
Ihey put him down at a Table and sat
around him and inhaled the Scotch until
they were all Pie-Eyed. and then they
told him what q Horrible Risk he was
taking. and how not more than half
dozen Married Men IN Town seemed
really happy, and although she was d
Nice Girl. she had been engaged two or
three times before. and MOther-in-LaW
would be a fierce Proposition
For Hammer Duet, the Mems Club
makes the Boiler Works seem like the
Hush of Death.
The Reader may suspect that Horace
was 3ctuated by Mercenary Motives.
However the fact that he went the
Rounds and listened to everyone and then
married the Girl proves that he truly
loved her
MORAL; EloDe.
Copyright. 1858. by Robert Howard Rus
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-18

Swinburne's parody on the Tennysonian
Higher Pantheism
"One, whom we see not, is; and one, who
Is not, we see
Fiddle. We know is diddle; and diddle,
we take il. is dee
Lovers Of poetry. viii be glad to hear
that Aessrs. Holt & Co. have just pub
lished a new volume Of travesties by
owen Seaman, Borrowed Plumes." MI
Seaman hits off every popular writer
from Maeterlinck to Nh. Dooley'' with
his deliciously salient min1icry At the
present moment, he is, understand,
representing Punch at the Durbar.
Copyright, 1903, by Robert Howard
RUSSELL
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-18

otherwise. but he scores by being his own
most brilliant parOdist. In parody he
laughs best who laughs first Here is
the opening of his '-Nephelidia":
From the depth of the dreamy decline
of the dawn through a notable niIn-
bus of nebulOus moonshine,
Pallid and pink as the palm of the flag
flower that flickers with fear of the
flies as they float,
Are they looks of our lovers that lus-
trOusly lean from a marvel of mystic
miraculous moonshine
Those that we feel in the blood OF our
bushes that thicken and threaten
with sobs from the throat?"
And how bitterly to the point is Mr..
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-18

n nee there was Lover who was on
the Ragged Edge of the Desert
where the Old Bachelors live.
He was good and tired of the Aristo-
cratic Boarding House. in which one-half
of the Women Folks are Private Detec-
uves. This thing of living in a Pigeon
Hole and looking out at a Tin Roof had
lost ali Rarity and Charm for Horace.
He had gazed into the barren Future
and made up his mind to Marry. even
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-18
Reflections of a Bachelor.

New York Press.)
BY 4 girls pretty photograph you shall
not know her
A girls education should begin where
charity dCes-at home
A girl who thinks too much of herself
viii not set anybody else too.
IT takes very little oil to burn the lamp
of love. but the wick must always be
fresh and well trimmed.
Give woman a looking-.glass and she
would enjoy wearing fine clothes if there
were nobody else in the world to see her.
Women would file their teeth if 1t were
the fashion. but you could never get them
TO wear sensible clothes ever If they were
the fashion.
Every time woman PICKS up a tower
It makes her husband shiVer for fear she
is going to tie it aroundi her head and
go to hOuse-cleaning-
a bachelor never has to worry about
what sort of story to tell the morning
after which may not agree with the one
he told the night before.
Headstrong.
Columbia Jester9
Friends Shakespeare your wife is aw-
fully headstrOng. isn't she2
William-Hes, Ann Hathaway.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-18

Copyright, 1858, by Robert Howard Rus
SELF
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1903-02-22
Wanted! Boys for the Saloon.

To the Editor: At a meeting of the
State Liquor Dealers of Ohio, at Worth
wain's Hall, Columbus, one Of the dele
gates, in the course of a speech on How
to Build up the Saloon Business, gave
the following suggestions He said;
THE success of our business is de-
pendent largely upon the CREATION OF
APPETITE FOR DRINK. Men who
drink liquor, like others will die, and if
there is no new appetite created our
counters will be empty as well as our
Golfers Our children Will be hungry, or
we must change our business to some
other more remunerative. The open field
for the creation of appetite is AMONG
THE BOYS. After men have grown and
their habits are formed they rarely ever
change in this regard. 1t will be needful
therefore, that MISSIONARY WORK
BE DONE AMONG THE BOYS, and 1
make the suggestion, gentlemen. that
nickeIs expended in treats to the boys
now will return in dollars to you after
THE APPETITE HAS BEEN FORM
ED. ABOVE ALL, ELSE, CREATE
APPETITE
MRS. L. G. BLAIR.
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1903-02-22

crackers, he also has an undoubted right
to equip him with a package of cigarettes,
a deck of cards. a bottle of whiskey and
a banjo
Whatever is lacking in this outfit as a
preparation of the boy for career of
crime and infamy, the Ingenuity of pat-
ents who are so jealous of any proposed
infringement of their peculiar domain
will doubtless be able TO supply, but they
would hardly be able to find any differ
cnce between the articles mentioned in
point of educational usefulness.
The fact is-and a lamentable one
that there is at present a lack of pru-
dence on the part of parents and laXIty
of parental authority which shows Itself
in very many of the children of the pres
ent day, indicating that they have not
been properly taught the lesson of filial
obedience nor proper Difference towards
4heir elders.
And it is this condition Of affairs that
would amply justify the Legislature in
seeking to infringe on the domain of
parents"
f. A. LUCK. SR.
Waynesyllle, N. c., Feb, 16, 1903.
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1903-02-22
The Saloon Must GO.

To the Editor: You have acquitted
yourself nobly in the cause of temperance
legislation. You have the sympathy ana
will have the continued support OF the
good people of North Carolina. Inc
whole State is aroused as never before on
the subject of the determination OF the
of the saloon. Occasionally some one
will pop up and repeat the old OBJ
lection that have become obsolete, to
closing the saloons. They are opposed
to "sumptuary laws" when the fact is
they do not know what sumptuary law
is They tell us it will hurt the Demo-
cratic party to legislate against liquor.
What a Islander on the Democratic party!
We are living in the day of democracy
in the best sense of the term. BY de-
mocracy We mean the rule of the people.
The saloon is acknowledged to be can
Ger on the body polite. No one can
make an argument for its existence The
efforts in that direction mean insult to
reason and a menace to decency. The
people are the sovereigns and they are
alive to the fact that they have no right
to tolerate this evil any longer The tide
is rising against the evil every day and
will never ebb until the last saloon is
forever closed.
All the pent up feelings of long suf-
fering people are bursting forth, and woe
he TO him who stands in the way. In
1881. when the battle was joined and the
-'otory seemed tn rect with the forces OF
evil, was the seed time. The mass of ig-
norance and viciousness that stood in the
The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1903-02-22

be drunkards, gamblers and devils II
the Legislature wishes to confer a bless
ing on those who are so unfortunate as
tc have TO raise their children i'm COM
munities where the open bar exists then
nut the bar on the same footing a $ the
dispensary Let nothing be sold in the
house but whiskey, have that house
closed from sunset to sunrise. just like
the dispensary, and in my opinion you
will have done more for temperance So
briefly. the rising generation. and the
Democratic party than any OF the bills
now pending. l will suggest this plan
that every town, regardless of size, that
keeps up q regular organization decide
whether il will have prohibition. dis
pensary or bar. The people don't take
to the idea Of discriminating against the
small towns. Have the law so framed
that any town can have a dispensarS9 If
il so chooses, that nothing be sold in y
bar but drinks, allow no painted win
dows or screens; close them from sunset
to sun rise and the Democratic party viii
lose no votes, the cause of temperance
viii have made great gain and the Ii
ouor men will have cause to be thank
full.
b. f. WILLIAMS,
Harrellsville. N. c.