The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-11-21

knee. IN the first place. I got to er
club. Got that DOWN."
Yes"
Received royal welcome from all er
members. All of 'em shaid would be
er honor to er club. Then 1 got up to
speak. Never felt cooler IN my life.
Didn't shiver one SILVER That's er sort
of husband you've got, Mrs. Bowsher,
but you don't know it-you don't know
/ it, You Jess think I'm a cooper or
4 blacksmith. and that don't know ora
tory from blackberries.'
4 well, you got up and delivered your
address on the Pilgrim Fathers" she
said.
I did Had applause the first thing.
I hadn't hardly said that the lizzie band
of true-hearted men and women shailed
away from the shores of Egypt before
there was enthusiastic applause"
Good lands, but you didn't say
/ Egypt?"
"Of course I did-of course. You don't
suppose had 'em shall away from er
shores of Africa, do you? You would
have shaid so. but didn't. They shalled
and shailed, and finally landed in Flor
ida. That brought more applause-lots
of applause. Shome men laughed till
they had to hold er sides"
Mr.. Bowser, did you land those Pill
grim Fathers in F1orida?" solemnly
asked Mrs. Bowser.
"Shertinly. 1t was in the winter time,
and they wanted to get warm as soon
as they, could, and they wanted coker-
nuts and bananas, and so l landed EN-
in Florida You wouldn't have thought
of that, would you? It was err best
thing in er whole speech, and they all
shaid So
but they landed at Plymouth Rock
on the shores of Massachusetts"
Woman don't dispute me. If you
had been there and heard the applause
you would never have disputed me
again. You tend to er Homework and
I'll tend to er Pilgrim Fazzers."
''Wen?'' she queried, as he folded his
arms and looked up at the ceiling and
nodded his head.
Next great hit made" he continued
after bit, was when I shpoke of er
heroism and integrity of Miles Wash
ington, their leader. Applause was ire
positively tremendous. Men
| jess got up and whooped and yelled and
slapped each other on the back
Mr.. Bowser, you didn't call him Miles
Washington, did you? You didn't mix
Miles Standish and George Washington
up that way?"
'I shpoke of Miles Washington, and
what I said went" replied Mr.. Bowser
| Don't you try to learn me anything
bout history. If you think don't
know Miles Washington from George
Standish you will get badly left. YeSh,
the applause was deafening- l had to
wait for five minutes, and then I went
on to tell about er hardships-no oys-
tiers. champagne, roast lamb or angels
food-no nozzing but Johnny cake and
! fat pork gravy. Made 'nozzer hit there.
Shaw more'n ten men break down and
weep"
Il don't wonder at it. Then you
finished p"
mo, zir-no, zir. Then I went on and
shpoke of throwin' er coffee overheard
in Plymouth Rock"
You mean the tea and Boston har-
Dor You couldn't have made such a
mistake as that
Mrs Bowser. are you er Pilgrim
Fazzer?" asked Mr.. Bowser with great
gravity"
"Of course not
Did you help throw that coffee over
| board?"
mo. but
"Zhen what you know bout it? Don't
try to correct me in history, Mrs. Bow
ser, cause you can't do ft-can't do it.
| Zhe applause wash shomethin awful,
and had to wait five minits to go on.
Zhen I was ready to wind up. I had
shaved zhe best for er last. Wanted to