davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
Mzreoni,s EnoIish RfvzL

Sir Oliver Lodge. the principal Of
Birmingham university, who pub
Iished q book on wireless telegraphic
experiments as lar back as 1884. has
just been experimenting with q new
form Of cohere- CT his own invention.
which has given very satisfactory re
suits On a recent voyage 20 New
York he fixed up ore Of his instru-
ments on the steamer and received
messages at q distance OF 1000 miles.
but owing 20 the restricted power o.
his batteries was only able TO send q
message 500 miles
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

.uea shouId Re Permitssd - Eefsi1
aronoPoly Of This FOrn ct Iaioey
The supply OF idiots ready to under
tsge waEers piedging themselves IN
certain contingencies to do things
which are amusing to Others seems -
be unfailinC- Representatives OF THIS
class are much In evidence about else-
ton time. and nay be seen wheeling
one another in HhselbarroWs OF other
wise making fools OF themselves. to tne
disgust Of serious minded people who
are not aFerss 70 frn when II IS funny
but who cannot see the fun when or
this sort OF thing. for the excellent
reason that there is none in it A 1eW
years ago the making OF grotssque
waEers was much more general than
Il now appears 70 be, but Il EITrtTe1
sporadieally, and its eIterminadon ny
popular dfsapproval seems 10 Be as dit-
ficult as the eradication OF the Canaoa-
thistle from cultivated fields
Not often have women been involved
in this particular kind Of folly. but
that there are women capable OF Il vas
instanced on Monday evening by tn8
performance Of the young woman on
upper Broadway. New York. who won
a wager BY rendering her services As
a bOotblack and performing the act
There is nothing degrading in the pol
ishing Of a shoe. in itself considered
Good women have done il before now
and may DO il again, but il degradss=
a woman 10 make a spectacle OF her
self and 10 perform any act OF meaiaE
service for which there is no excuse
in necessity. Up to this time men have
had a monopoly Of this wholly inane
method Of amusing their friends They
should he permitted TO resain II
Young women have other and much.
more attractive forms of folly which
are peculiarly and exclusively their
own. and the range Of choice open
to them is certainly large enough to
enable them TO find and give amuse-
mentwitnout making fools OF them
selves in public for the ediicstiO1 OF
street lOafers and gamins Of the gut
ter.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
A Puzzled Housewife.

HellOi" called Mrs. Cookem over
the phone. rs this Mr.. SeIlem's gro
cery2"
Yes, ma'am."
We'll, you folk sent me q cake Of
patent plum pudding and a cake Of i'm
itatiOn coal this morning for me to
try"
''Ye-, ma'am- And do you wish to
order some more?'
I don't know. You'll have to send
some one down to explain matters.
I've put one cake on the fire and the
other in the oven and 1 cant tell
whether the plum pudding smell
comes from the frebOx or the pudding
pan
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
Though Rich. He Chose to Be Tramp

Though Rich. He Chose TO Be a Tramp
Having given up wealth and friends
10 be a tramp. and after roaming
about the country for thirty years.
George Sheldon died in OswegO. n Y
Sunday. He inherited a large fortune
After his fathers death he gave his
brother all his share except money
enough for his needs. and started to
wander around the country
He dressed shabbily, wore his hair
and beard long and walked from place
to place He bCasted that he never
paid a cent for railroad fare He at
tended every county fair in the state
for many years In 1893 he walked to
the Worlds fair in Chicago He
tramped from OswegO 70 New York
two years ago
He was arrested often as a vagraut,
but was set free when he showed that
he had money
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

The readers q this paper wiz be pleased %
learn Elat there IS a. least one dreaded disease
that science has been able % cure in al Is
stages. and that fs Catarrh- Halls CatarrE
Cure IS the only positive cure nov Known 20 the
medical fraternity Catarr1 being . co1sGiEI-
tlcnal disease. requires 9 constitutional tre1t-
ueuE- Halls Ca-srrh Cure IS taken internally
acting directly upcn the bleed and rlucous sur-
faces q the system thereby 6ssrr0TfnR fh8
foundation o. the disesEe and giving the natieuE
strength bT building up The Constitution and
Assisting nature ln doing its WurE- The uro-
u-ietors have 50 much faifh iu irs curarirs
powers that they cfer one Hundred Dollars for
any case thai it fails % cure Seld for LIST q
Tesfirncuia1s
Address p J CHENEY & CO. Tole1o. q
sold BY orEc-rlsts Tae-
HALE Family pills are the best
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Rutledge, MINI. Feb. 16th.-Nr. z.
c. Getcheu Of this place relates a
happy experience which viii be read
with interest by al those who have a
similar trouble.
1t appears that last winter Er- Get
cheu was seized with a lameness and
soreness in his back which grew worse
and worse till at last IL became very
bad and made It very difficult for him
20 get about at all
After a time he heard Of a new rem
edy for backache which scme Of his
friends and neighbOrs said had cured
them, and he determined to try It The
name Of the remedy is DOdd's Kidney
Pills and Mr.. Getchel has proven that
IL Is sure cure He says
Il used two boxes Of DOdd's Kidney
Pills according to directions. and ny
lame back was entirely cured and an
all o. K again DOdd's Kidney Pills
are as good as represented"
This remedy IS very popular here,
and has worked some remarkable
cures Of Backache and Kidney TrOu-
bic.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

At Wymordham, Norfolk. England.
Es this Inscription at an old country
house engraved on an oak board and
all in one line: Nee nishi glis ser
vus. nee hOspes hirudo-" Translated
from the Latin. in which Il appears in
antique Roman capita letters, it may
be rendered. NO dormOuse as a ser
van for me. neither a hOrseleech for a
guest.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
Has Not Forootten Enuity

Kansas legislators are taking steps
10 secure the placing Of marble like
ness Of the late John J. ingalls, in
statuarT han, Washington c. Le-
land. who vas a bitter enemy OF the
senator, is doing What he can 20 de-
feat the project Mr- Leland was
IOng leader Of a Republican faction
in Kansas and IS nov IN the state
Iezfslature-
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
UneomfortsbIe.

Finnicus-I wonder Why it is that
those who attain the pinnacle Of sue
cess never seem to be happy
Cynnicus-Because the pinnacle OF
success is ike the top Of a particu-
larly tail lightning rod with a particu-
larly sharp point, and those who sue
ceed in Perching temporarily upon it
usually find that they are targets for
all the worlds lightning. Town and
country.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Now that Lord Kitchener is busy
IN India they are beginning 70 think
in England that he could be employed
TO great advantage at home. We
have sent Hercules 70 the Himalayas, %
is one Of the phrases heard IN London,
where it is thought the famous soldier
ought to be clearing ont the Augean
stable Of the war Omce-
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Beginning February 18th. the Il. Z.
e r Ry- win sell Colonist TicEets 70
California a. Tery low rates. Tiz.. s.
Louis. 5000; Kansas CITY. s15.oo.
Tourist Car threugh 20 san Frareiseo
leaves St Louis each Tuesday az $50
p m Ask any Katy Agent OF address
James Barker Gen1 Pass AEent. u. K
q T Ry. zo2 wainwright Buudirg. 81
Louis
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
FREDERlcK s ROMEP q

Miss Hilda Kathryn Clark. prima
donna in The Highwayman,' Maid
Marian" Robin Hood. and many
other light operas, is 70 marry Fred
erick Stanton Flower, nephew Of the
late Roswell P. Flower and a member
Of the firm Of Flower & Co, Al Broad
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
Friendly Comment.

Biu-Who was that girl you were
walking up the avenue with yester-
day2
Jill-You mean the one with the big
muf2
Bill-Why, yes; I said the one you
were with, didn't /?
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
Positively Brutal.

up her mind in less than half the time
a man can.
Diggsby-NatuTaIly She devCtes
the most Of her time TO making up her
face, and, moreover, she has less mind
to make Nd.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Despite the possession Of vast riches
Mr.. Rockefeller is not q contented
man. He longs for a good appetite. a
cure for nervousness, a panacea for
insomnia and q chance to make more
money.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
Testimonial Writers

do you subscribe to the theory that
peoples characters are made by what
they eat?"
NO" answered the scientist; but
Judging from the advertisements
should say that in many cases their
regulations are made by the medicines
they take"
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Rev E c. WAeeler. a C0ngreEz-
tonal minister Of Rocklend. Mass.
b. declaring that dancing IS too good
a recreation 10 be turned over 90 the
devil and advising his hearers % eul-
tEEate terpslchorean art assitnclsly.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
The Innocent Girl.

What nonsense all this is about
men getting on their knees when they
prOpOsei" said Mrs. ParslOw to her
dear friend. My husband didn't do
any such absurd thing when he asked
me to marry him."
He did when he proposed TO me, +"
said the dear friend, without think
ing
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
AZ 2 street corner

Old Crusty Cto beggar)-LOok here,
my fine fellow, an able-bOdied man
like yoUy should work. not beg. You
ought to be given in charge.
Beggar (bitterly)-Pm safe agin
you, anyhow, if there's any givin' in
it. You amt 10 blOOmin' giver..
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Guest-Here's a quarter for you,
waiter Now tell me what yen can
cOnscie-tiOusly recommend for my
dinner.
IS saiter-Thankee boss. Ef yo' all
wants sOmetin ut ter eat Aid recer-
mend dat yO' hunt a nuther rest rant,
sab.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
WESTERN cANADA's HARD
WHEAT CR0WvfNC ANUc

Sixty thouEznd American farmers found
hones on the rich soil Of the Ca1adiau
Northwest IN ls1Z. the finest hard wheat
growing land g. the world II yoa are IN
terested in the Canadian Northwest sub
scribe for TIE Aecs--T Eree Press Wlu1i-
Peg Canada the leading faruers' paper
az western Canada u contains q mas
OF information every week relating - the
Canadian Northwest. itE lands. fts raried
resources. climate conditions. reEuiatiors
reEuec-iuE government lands. etc Sab
Ecrfreion rrice 400 q year Eanple COZ
ies sent On application
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
Much Easier.

You say that young man is an as
trOnOmer?" said young Mrs. Torkins.
Yes. He can calculate the exact
time that an eclipse is due"
But what's the use, Charley, dear,
when he can read the announcement
in the Paper?"
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

After al. the presents which We
Americans received we're no great
shakes when compared 10 the earth
quake which the fnhabitants o. Rus
sian Tukestan found 70 their stock
fnzs On Christmas
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
In Kansas

What time did the cyclone leave
your cOunty?" asked the hardware
drummer.
1T didn't leave the county at AL,
responded the sad-eyed native, III
just took the county with il"
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
A Calm OhserNer.

She-DO you know anything about
The moons phases. ChOlIy2
He-Pshaw! / don't believe in such
stuffi The moon has been watching
US for the past hour. and If what it's
seen hasn't phased it nothing would
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Remit am going to open an en-
gagement IN Scranton next week"
Roxey-'I guess yOuu do your
best"
Rentt-'NO, my worst Then maybe
they'll throw coal al ne
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
sdlI in the Family.

Jack-aIy grandfather had a fine
collection Of silver, which he be
queathed to my father on condition
that it should remain in the family.
Ethel-Then you have 1t stiII2
Jack-WelI-er-my uncle has It
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

The German legislators have struck
blow at the Standard Oil Company.
It was merely a glancing blow, how
ever, and the company is still in the
ring and smiling.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

A Chicago savings bank offers TO
give q metal mantel bank free to any
one who asks for it. Incidentally. tC
prevent backsHding in the saving
habit, the savings bank retains the
kew.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Husband-''For whom are You knit
ting those sOcks2-
Wife--FOr a benevolent society,"
Husband-s-DO you know, you might
seed them ny address Perhaps they
would send ne a pair"
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
The Best He Could Do

WiEg-Before they were married he
said he would be willing to die for
her
Wagg-Weu. he has partially
proved It At any rate, he doesn't
seen able TO earn a living for her.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Boys and girls who survived the
swimming season are now furnishing
material for cOasting accidents. At
any cost Young America must have q
good time
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

"Ya-as. dear be-, Charlie Gibbon
and I have decided to grow a mus
tache.
"mdeedl Wen. you're doing hrst
rate with your half"
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Stalate-Why, ny watch has
stopped
Miss WiIIing-And 50 has the clock
Stalate-Then 7 suppose nay as
EeD stop awhile longer
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

"ShaH l." excIaims Mrs. Pat Camp
bell, shall 1 bare my soul TO every
little reporter" No. don't Choose
the big ones. They are robust, and
can stand it
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

The head Of the Shakers in America
at the age of eighty-three, quite ex-
cusabIy thinks that he is old enough to
shake his job.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Mrs. Knicker-Wasn't it dreadful
Somebody mistOOk Mrs Blank for her
cook
MIS- BOcker-And what happened!
Mrs. Knieker-The cook left
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Imagine the expression on Uncle
Russell Sage's face when he reads
that college professors ought to be re
tired, as past their usefulness. at the
ege Of seventy.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Certain disaffected elements IN
China are cIamoriDg for a new en-
perOr- Their desires are not likely to
be gratified further than to hear some
thing from the old one.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

A nickel-in-the-slot restaurant has
Just been opened in New York. The
chief claim to recognition which we
can see in this innovation is that the
same machine viii dispense a high
hall to make you forget the lunch.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
Just 4 WAY They Have.

Mifkins-GTeat minds, you know,
occasionally run in the same channel.
Bifkins-Yes, but more frequently
they shoot different chutes.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

A Georgia paper asks: Why viii
young men carry pistols and brass
knUckles to church with them ?"
Why, indeed? Give the minister 2
show.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

J. PierDOnt Morgan has passes Gov
eTing 55 900 miles Of railroad What
a lot of conductors he must be
acquainted with
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Yale students are to collect the
voices of all remaining Indian tribes
ia a phOnOgraph. Presumably Yale is
planning a new yell
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Vienna surpasses all other capitals
in the number of suicides committed
each year. Also in the number OF
princesses who abandon their impe
cunious husbands.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

VisitOr--Are you going TO be law
yer, ike your father, when you grow
up. BObby2"
I'm going to be an honest nan"
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

The cOIored girl who fired six shots
at her recreant lover and missed him
each time should have practiced with
a seven-shOOter.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

The New York wOmaS who has been
married four times and divorced three
times and is now trying to be divorced
again must feel more or less discour-
aged by her experiments in matrimOny.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
- So - InvisibIe.

Citiman-So you've got a servant at
last?
Subbubs-Tes-
Citiman-Whfte OF black2
Subbubs-Green. very green
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Lieut. Blakeiey. in charge Of tie St
Leafs naval recruiting station. says
more thzn 50 per cent OF all apQica-
cauts are rejected because q -1at
foct
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

With a surplus Of s., 100000 for
1902, Spain is in a position to start
the foundation Of a new nay.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

It is said that Zola made 81 SOC, 900
writing books. What a power he
might have been as a captain Of in.
GustTy.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

If Uncle Russell Sage's new valet is
calculating on eking out a small
stipend with tips and perquisites he
is likely to get left.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Automobiles are to be used IN trans
porting the mail. All that the public
has to do is to provide good roads
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

No school boy ever had to write a
moral copy book text so often that he
wrote it on the fence on the way home.
-AtchisOn Globe.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

1t is a curious and unnOticed fact
that the command, Thou shalt not
lie" does not appear once in the
deealOgue.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
The Pe,vboIder.

Peculiar thing about a mans stand
ing in his church"
What's that2"
1T depends largely upon his sitting
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

It costs Uncle Sam s1,25O,OOO an
nualIy to predict that tomorrow viii
be fair. And then it is likely to
rain
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Of the sultan Of Sulu apply to con.
gress for a pension?
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Any mans salary would be large Il
It II were not for his expenses.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

In spite OF his large salary. the es-
tate of the late archbishop Of Cantsr-
bury foOts up only about $50 600. he
was not disgraeed By dying rich
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
The Climax

Sam-Who Won de cakeEaIk2
Remus-It ended In q draw.
Sam-A draWZ
Remus-Yes. ebrTbOdy present be
gan to draw Och razahs."
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

These men Of wealth Go make the
most original and astounding state
ments- Young Rockefeller has made
the remarkable discovery that Il you
are good you VIII be happy.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

While the North is wrestling with
the coal situation the South is excit-
&c over the appearance Of green bugs
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

The ex-CrOEn Princess Of Sax0ny
has been deprived Of all her titles.
Now If that French tutor continues
to love her he viii be a wonder.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Sir Henry Maxim's declaration that
the bank OF Monte Carlo can't be
beaten is a maxim that gamblers will
do well to accept without discussion.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

II thing Is worth a care. do 1t
carefully.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
ARMY OFFICERS CHANGE POSTS.
al Gen. Bates to Command Depart.

Mai. Gen. Bates to Command Depart
nent Of the Lakes.
Mai. Gen John C. Bates has been
ordered to relieve Mai. Gen. Mac
Arthur OF the department of the lakes
April 1.
Maj. Gen. Macarthur is assigned To
command the department OF CaiifOr-
MIA, TO relieve MAJ Ger Robert P.
Hughes, who viii be retired April Il.
Mai. Gen. Bates, in addition 10 the
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

A woman likes hattery as a child
likes sugar on its bread-spTead on
thick
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

It now appears that William K. Van
derbilt's house, Idle Hour, is built on
sand Why should a man with so
many rocks make such a bIunder?
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
Present Company Always Excepted

Present Company Always Excepted.
What do you consider the greatest
object Of interest in England?' asked
the interviewer.
Well answered the great lecturer
from abroad, 4 arrived here yester-
day, and"
"Of course" exclaimed the inter
viewer, apOlOgeticaIly, I meant the
greatest object of interest next to
yOurselfI STRAY Stories.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Many a young man gets 70 the front
By securing a JOB as motorman On q
trolley car
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
81 80 - - - -

No. Maude. dear; when you compli-
ment a girl on her complexion il isn't
uecessarily a powder puff
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
He Drew Well.

How does your son draw in his
political campaign" asked the
stranger.
Purity heavy" replied the old man
He drawed on me yesterday for 800.
and I'm expecting another draw by
next mail"
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

Johnsing gone
when he
Jackson-When OF de train.
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06
DEATH OF wELL-KNowN WRITER

Edna LyaII SueSumbs to an Attack o.
Pneumonia.
Ada Ellen Bayly. the novelist. whose
pen name was Edna Lyall. died last
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

way, New York The wedding VIII
take place az the home Of the brides
parents. 353 Riverside Drive. New
York After that Mr.. and Mrs. Flow
er viii live in Hr. Flowers house.
615 Fifth avenue Hiss Clark and Mr..
Flower have known each other If
teen years. and would have been mar
ried several years ago but for the
opposition Of Mr. Flowers father.
The groom 20 be IS forty years old. He
inherited a portion Of Roswell P.
Flowers estate ard is rated as a nil
lionaire-
The Goodland republic., 1903-03-06

If women were unable 20 see The
fine clothes worn by other women
there would doubtless be fewer
The Courier. (Genoa, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1903-03-06
Railroad For Carson Valley.

Senate Bill No. IS, introduced by
Mr. Dangberg, provides for the grant
ing Of a franchise to Richard Kirman
and associates, granting them right
ofway, etc, for term of fifty years
through Eagle and Carson Valleys.
The franchise Is for. a railroad to be
constructed in Ormsby and Douglass
counties, to be operated by either
steam or electricity, and under the
terms of the bill construction must be-
gin within one year and be completed
within two.
1t is well understood that Senator
Dangberg himself is the principal "as-
soeiaten of Mr.. Kirmap, and both these
gentlemen have advocated a railroad
from this city through the Carson Val
ley for years. IN reply to question
Mr. Dangberg this morning stated;
ave mean business. The capital
necessary for the undertaking is in
sight, and undoubtedly the road will
be constructed"
The granting of the franchise and
right-of-Way is practically matter of
form, for the gentlemen interested
practically can run the road upon their
own lands, if they SO desire. While
the selection of power is left open in
the bill, there is little doubt that cleo
tricity will be the propelling force.
There are a half dozen sources from
which this can be drawn, the two prin-
cipal ones being power from the
Truckee River General Electric COM
pany, which already has wires to this
terminal of the projected road, and
the other being on the Carson River,
where a plant can be installed that
will furnish more power than can be
obtained from the Truckee even.
The promoters plan for the road to
touch the head of Carson Valley, and
have carefully gone over the field.
They believe it would develop many
latent resources of that region, greatly
increasing the output of potatoes,
,onions and other farm produce of that
section, which can not be profitably
placed on the market under present
conditions. They have assurance of
the establishment Of a sugar beet fac
tory if a railroad is constructed, and
thus Thousands of acres of the best
land on the Coast will be Immediately
placed under cultivation.
~ have investigated the matter far
enough said Mr. Dangberg, "to
know that the benefits to Carson City
ACQUIRING from the construction Of such
a road would be inestimable. News.