Arizona republican., 1903-10-05
CASEY AND All SAn
The Chinaman Makes Clear the Vir- tues of The Hague Tribunal
 as a Preventative of War.

l tink,''' said An Sam. as he handed Casey his clean shirt and took charge of his dirty one, kill em plenty Clis- tian ebly day now in Tuhkey."
 That's all ye know about current events" answered Casey as he folded up the laundry ticket with the crow with the beer checks in his pants pock- ct. "Ye don't seem to get next to the proposition that the whole world is for peace an that the rulers are bustin' their galluses to avoid war in the Bal kans. Ye don't seem to 'preciate that Russia an Austria are goin to unusual length, to harmonize matters an that England havin drunk blood till her stomach's sour is now takin' tariff salts an nackin' peace banner. Ye don't realize that the United States is wise to the game an refuses to go into the mill till some of the other champeens gifts a reputation. No, lay in all jokes aside, theys no need of war. The civilized nations of the world have said so. Arbitration's the thing o'ny Turkey can't hold the Ma cedonians long enough to draw up the papers. War is a cruel alternative, a relic of barbarism. When civilized people want to be real devilish they play ping pong. The world is fer peace an its goin to have it if it has to fight fer it.
 How about de Tuhkey wah?" asked the Chinaman.
 There ye are again." said Casey, "They's no war on in Turkey. It's o'ny an insurrection. Wars not been de- clared."
 "Humph." said An Sam, "Mebbe so, I not heap smaht like policeman, but I tink I jess soon be killed in wah as chopped up in a slaughter house. I no uh'atand diffe'nce. Spanish Amelican wah heap big ting; evlybody go, fight all summer, kill 'em mebbe so two tlee hun'erd men. Now come Turkey insullection kill 'em ten tousand men,"
 But that iJ not the idea" said Ca sey, as he swelied with q patriotism born in Castle Garden. "The idea is that wars must cease an the nations by refusing to recognize them will eventually teach men not to kill each other. Till that glad day comes there are bound to be insurrections at times. an they must be put down. Its one thing to have an insurrection an another to have war. They have kill ed more people in strikes in this coun- try than in many wars, but they wuz o'ny insurrections an didn't count"
 II see now. you tink peace congless fix 'em?"
 Certainly" said Casey. When those great men gathered at The Hague there was ushered in new era of civilization. o'ny it didn't get quite trough the door till it stuck
 II tink so, too" said Sam. China boy he no sabe much but he tink whole lot. like mule. I tink peace con- gless big bunko game, all same monte, nobody win but dealer. Befo' Czar he tell 'em evlybody come Hague make 'em peace congless. Men come China war. Peace man all make 'em allie. shoot 'em up Pekin. Missionally he put in bill, make China boy pay. Blitish man he help make peace con gless 'nen he send hun'erd tousand mo soldiers South Africa. Gelman man he sign peace congless men Blitish an Gelman send 'em plenty ship to Vene- zuela. blow eblyting to pieces. Make 'em pay money too, an Dago he catch 'em littli rake off. Lushia, him velly foxy, sign peace consless 'nen try to steal Manchuria. Bimebye Arab at Beirut make trouble. His cousin get mallied one night he get putty dunk ar shoot 'em gun in the air. Consul h. speak Ples'dent Loosevelt, he send 'eln warship lite away"
 Well what Of it you hon scented cOyote?" yelled Casey, Weren't all these nations within their rights? They must defend their honor. If ye had any yerself ye'd know more about such things. Why don't ye read rp on details and get next to yerself instead of wastin' yer time burnin' punk befcre the fake image of a hand made god that never wuZ nohow."
 Oats what's mattah now" Sam re- piled. II lead 'em all time an plenty time I no can fohget. I 'membeh eviy time peace delegate meet putty soon something putty bad happen"
 That's all because of yer pre- iudice," said Casey. edging towards the dcor. "YC don't realize that the world wasn't made in q minute anl conditions have to be adjusted. Ye havn't as much sense as yer ancestors in the stone age They ate their grub with 6 paddle and you chase it through the air with chop stick. Hav.l't you heard about the universal appeal that has been
 
 Gogs of war;"
 ''Yes. I lead 'em ebly day" said Sam. II lead 'em befo' when Spanish man blow up Maine. Evlybody he want wah. He want to go whip Spanish man in Cuba. President Kinley he talk all time foh peace. He no want to fight 'em Spain. But all time he spit on his hans jess same. One day he say all leady now I got ticket marked nen when drawing come President 'Kinley he catch 'em ten spot
 But haven't ye read about the czar and the Empel or Francis Joseph ree:- in, kissin' each other, talkin' over the troubles in Turkey, and appealin' to the sultan. Cover the long distance tele- phone). to stop this awful bloodshed?"
 Yes I lead 'em all lite. an nebbe so China boy heap clazy. but you know what l tink?"
 Think" said Casey, "I didn't think ye could think. But if ye think ye can think, what do ye think ye think"
 II tink when peace men like Car of Lushia an Emplah Flankie Joseph meet an kiss each other. putty soon hell pop sure.''