The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-03-22
FUN OF THE WORLD.

bate with Douglas is Illustrated by anecdote
which Leonard SWEET related Augustus C Buell.. says
Leslies Weekly. Il believe Abe you beat Douglas
for the senate You the legislature if
the best use of the opportunity. said Mr.. SWEET LIN
coin on the eve of the first debate. NO. Len can't
reat him for the senate but I'll make him beat him
self for the Presidency
&c
Talking table music in the Boston Symphony
orchestra's program book Philip Hale says:
Whether music aids digestion an open question
Ange Goudar ate his chicken during ne
feared lest digestion woud follow keeping with the
heels of jig Dr. Vernon stoutiy affirmed he could net
digest without music Let Michael Mail be summoned
witness from Thomas Hardy's Under the Greenwood
Tree:
tween music and eating. Once sitting little
kitchen OF Three Choushs Caserbridse. having
bit Of dinner and brass band struck in the street
Such beautiful band that Were, sitting eating
fried liver and lights well mind-ah 1 was, and
TO my life 1 couldn't help chawing the
Band played sixeight time: s.x-eight wiiynly.
Band plays common common time my teeth among
the fried liver and lights hair-Beautful
'twere. All. 1 shall never forget that band!'
And Grandfather James with the absent gaze which
accompanies profound criticism" explained, That's
musical circumstance as ever heard Of"
< < x "a
The ceiling in reconstructed mayors
New York has for decoration above the center chand
ler. circle shields each bearing the initial OF
of the thirteea original The devoted New
Jersey shows j reversed
Whats the matter with your ]. you've got IL back
ward visitor said TO of the workmen.
'oh. that's all right New Jerseys backward state
the workman replied.
zzag
Nora is importation relates the New Evening
Post. She has been in this country only few months
One day this last week she for the first time
dered to wash the parlor windows. Being Nora she
began washing windows the outside sitting
sill in conventional fashion drawing the sashes
into her lap. Then it time wash the inner
face of the panes. Nora. being Nora used her
judgment and the sill before, but her
of the window.
1t a Lexington store the Balti-
News The weary little clerk had hauled down bolts
of silk. bolts of silkne bolts skee. and bolts OF
nearsk until her temples throbbed her bones ached
Then the customer turned sweety her and said
Well only looking a friend. and"
Certainly am" smiled the clerk; but if you think
friend is in that other bolt, III get it down. too"
K <
Does any ever read Ben Johnson nowadays? If
how about his anticipation OF submar-
ines has escaped curious aIegoricaI play
The Staple of News the following report
the offices of the Staple for the benefit of spectators:
Thom.-They write here Cornelius Son.
Hath made the Hollanders invisible eel
To swim the haven at Dunkirk and sink all
The shipping there.
Pennyboy.-Junr.-B how done?
Cymbo.-Ill show you sir.
1t is Automa, under water.
With nose and has nmble tail
Made like (auger) with which tail she wrgses
Betwxt the Gbs) of ship and sinks it straight
p. Junr.-A most brave device
To murder their fiat bottoms
Whether Ben Johnson had am notion of submar-
navigation his mind the passage interesting
worthy aside Shapespeares forecast
electric wire declares the Westminster Gazette
x z *
In Tanning of Helen" which Richard Harding Davis
for Henry Miller of the lines declared to
the admirers of the young author y few here
printed They efforts OF playwright sell
his play land some of the are rather pert:
Lord Woodcoe-Ths play you want to sell is a
comedy?
Philip-Yes, sir.
woodcote-And the heroine wears boys clothes the
last act?
Philp-Yes, sir.
woodcote-Then I'm sure 1 I'll buy
it. 1 it for society lady TO make her stage
debut in.
woodcote-Mrs. Evian play that has
the critics cannot her with
any other actress
PHILIPPIANS. Evian my play. she can't act
woodcote-How do you know she can't act? She never
tried.
Phiip-she can't in my play. You produce my
play so a divorced show her legs in public.
Philip describing his pIayJ-The heroine
Mrs. Evian-Really. think ia look rather well In
black velvet
Phlip-oh but she wears rags Besides. her SON
Mrs .Evian-Her son? why old Is she?
Philip-wen n she's forty ana the second
acts ten years later
Mrs Evian-And in the suppose she's seventy?
Philip-No eighty.
Z x x
In Moscow. the other day. Russian lady created quite
the by rushing to youthful looking
pedestrian and shouting her husband: It's Gory:
great Gorky, Then addressing the strang-
er added: Welcome Moscow" and before he
Intention she had embraced the blushing
object OF her admiration. meanwhile rensTking Let
give you kiss for your last drama Il is immortal
you will be" In 4 few moments a crowd collected, not
great Gorky. but because there
shril scream. when the ardent lady pounced upon
by pretty young who 6elsbored der with
heavy umbrslla, puncusting The blows with insulting
CALCULATIONS the police took them 20 the station
for explanation. where made clear that Maxim
Gorky hundreds OF miles distant az the time. and
that wellread enthusiastic married lady had pebble
~ embraced and kissed a man. who was walk
ing innocenty betrothed thus creating the fsse
impression right 10 be thus familiar.
and shaking the confidence of his bride"
The other day a rushed into the P1nIsstawney
hardware In great hurry the PuBsuta9nsy
Spirit he wanted catch q street and said.
Give a porn-ToppeT."
You mean a pcp-corneT.' ssid the clerk
Yes. ! said . pop-porner. Hurry Up"
All right-you want porn-copper'
NE. you said porp-ccTrer
7 did I said co-b-poner
Get You said prop-conaer."