davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03
The Irlshman and the Letter.

A certain congressman sympathizes
with the woes of postmasters.
"Why anybody should want to be a
postmaster" he exclaimed. "And yet
there are hosts OF applicants. But why
anybody-just listen, now, to what a
postmaster from my district, out near
Danville, went through the other day:
can Irishman came to this man and
asked if there was letter for him..
"'There is, says the postmaster, and
it's big, fat letter, too. There's eleven
cents due on it.
"Well, said the Irishman, Just open
it and read it to me, will you? My
education was neglected in my youth.
THE letter was twenty pages long,
but the postmaster read it all through
out loud.
"Just read it again. said the Irish
man, when he ended, and, being oblig-
ing, the postmaster did SO.
Then the Irishman scratched his
head and said
"How much is due on herr?
"'Eleven cents
"Well, keep her; she's none OF
mine said the Irishman. She don't
belong to me- And he walked off.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03
The Source of Supply.

At last the doctor consented tc
smile, the nurse was already laugh
ing; the shadow had lifted from the
sickroom, and everything was well,
and after profusely bathing her eyes
Aunt Jennie came down to the break.
fast table where her two small nieces
were seated, wondering what had
turned the house to topsy-turvy that
morning.
Guess what | know, girlies!" she
said, gayly. There is a little baby
brother upstairs. He came this morn
ing when you were asleep. What do
you think of that"
did he?" exclaimed the sharp-eyed
Edith. Then | know who brought
him."
"You do?"
Eyes, 1t was the milkman 1t said
so on his cart yesterday"
said what?" asked Aunt Jennie In
establishment.
"Why, Families supplied daily'!
was the quick reply.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03
Just Girls.

They entered the car flying wedge,
five OF them, ages ranging from eigh-
teen to twenty-one. Each had her suit
case and her animation. Mere men
did not think to move, therefore the
bevy had to split up. But little mat
ter like that was no damper on con-
versation. The one in the corner cried
to one in the middle OF the car
Frank, did you hear us talking in
bed last night?'
Il should say I did" replied Frances.
"You kept the whole house awake
Did you hear us, Belle"
ooh, no; l have no ears" said Belle
from the other end Of the car with a
sarcastic smirk
Il thought Sadie never would get
through. But we really did have a
great deal to say to each other
An old Irishman taking it all in re-
moved his hat obeisantly and asked
Nov, girls, won't yez be so kline
as to tell lis what yez wur tarkin
about?" Which remark was the need
ed quictus.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03
Much That Every Woman
Desires TO Know
About Sanatiye Antisep'
tic Cleansing
And about the Care Of the Skin,
Scalp, Hair and Hands.

Too much stress cannot be placed on
the great value Of Cuticura Soap, ONT
ment and Resolvent in the antiseptic
cleansing of the mucous surfaces and OF
the blood and circulating fluids, thus
afrording pure, sweet and economical
local and constitutional treatment for
weakening alterations, infammations,
itchings, irritations, relaxations, dis
placements, pains and Irregularities
peculiar to females. Hence the Cuti-
Cura remedies have q wonderful infiu-
ence In restoring health, strength and
beauty to weary women, who have
been prematurely aged and invalided
by these distressing ailments, AZ well as
such sympathetic Affections as an9mia,
chlorosis, hysteria, nervousness and
debility.
Women from the very first have fully
appreciated the purity and sweetness,
the power to afford immediate relief,
the certainty of speedy and permanent
cure, the absolute safety and great
economy which have made the Cuticura
remedies the standard skin cures and
humour remedies of the civilized world.
Millions of the women use Cuticura
Soap, assisted by Cuticura Ointment,
for preserving, purifying and beauti-
flying the skin, for cleansing the scalp
of crusts, scales and dandruff, and the
stopping Of falling hair, for softening,
whitening and soothing red, rough and
sore hands, for annoying irritations,
and Lucrative weaknesses, and for
many sanativc, antiseptic purposes
which readily suggest Themselves, as
well as for all the purposes of the toilet,
bath and nursery.
Bold throughout the world. Cutlcura Resolvent &c Tin
form Of Chocolate Coated pills. &c. per vial of co., Olnt-
ment Soc, Soap. 2jc. Depos, LONDON. Charterhouse
3D.; Paris Rue dc In Paixi Boston, ~ Columbus Ave.
Potter Drug q Chem Corp, Sole Proprietors.
~ Send for (" A Book for Women"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03
Story of a Little Girl.

A true story is told of a little girl
the daughter OF clergyman, who was
ailing, and in consequence had to be
put to bed carly.
Mamma" she said, II want to see
my dear papa" an
No, dear, said her mother, Papa
Is not to be disturbed Just now
Presently came the pleading voice.
Il want to see my papa!
"No." was the answer. Il cannot
disturb him."
Then the four ear-old parishlonci
rose to a question OF privilege. Main,
ma" she said, Il am sick woman, ant
want to see my minister
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03
COMMERCIAL REVIEW.
General Trade Conditions
Bradstreet's says:

Bradstreets says:
Evidence multiplies that the past
week saw the turning point for the
better in crop, trade and labor matters:
Improvement in these lines, continued
and accelerated by the weather OF TIT.
past week, has begun to be reflected
in actual demand at the West and
South, and although cool, rainy
weather is still drawback at the East:
many signs OF progress in the right d.
rection are noticed
Wheat, including -four exports for
the week, aggregate 3,6r7,4T5 bushels
against 4,IoI,3I7 last week, 3,8oo,434
this week last year, and 5,52o,83I in
1901. Wheat exports since July ag-
gregate 2I8,oSo,537 bushels, against
24s,285,64o last season and 2Io,813,577
in 1000. =.
Business failures for the week end
ing June IS number los, against Iol
last week, III in the like week OF 1902
1888 in 1901, 167 in 1900 and 100 i'll 1899
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03
Dining at the Theatre.

The London Truths musical critic
thinks that the fashion introduced by
the king and queen of dining at the
opera in the intervals of the music and
at the theatre when the play begins
early will certainly spread among the
aristocracy, ard a dining room VIII
soon come to be an indispensable adj
iunct OF some OF the theatres. One
lady has applied for a private dining
room, which she wishes to furnish her,
self, but her request has been found
impossible to comply with-for the
present" There is nol saying what de-
velopments may arise. Some OF them
are Likely to be both interesting and
amusing"
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03
Live Stock.

Chicago, Ill.-Cattle.-Good to prime
steers, $5oo@5.5o; poor to medium,
S4oo@485; stockers and feeders, So 90
G47s; cows and heifers, $I.6o(d4 30;
tanners, $1,000. 90; bulls, $2.25@425;
calves, ST. 5o@6.75; Texas-fed steers
$35o046o. Hogs-Receipts today, 49,,
300 Blu; tomorrow, 1900; left over.
$500; mixed and butchers, $5.o5062o
good to choice, heavy, $6.I5M6. 80,
rough, heavy, $5.o5@6.15; light, $5.oo@
$40; bulk Of sales, $6Io06.2o Sheep
Receipts, 1000 head; market steady tc
strong; good to choice wcthers, $40;
500; fair to choice mixed, $3.25G4oo;
native lambs, $4.5o@65o
East Liberty-Cattle steady; choice;
s5.4o@5.5o; prime $5.I@5:35 good
$4S5@5.oo. Hogs lower, prime heavy
S.35@6.4o; mediums and heavy York,
ers $65o@6.55; light Workers $oto(a
sos; pigs $665M67o; roughs $4,000
SIS. Sheep lower; best wethers %05
OSLO; culls and common S2ooG3oo;
yearlings $3.oo@5.oo; veal calves 500
07.25.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03
THF FREE KIDNEY DOCTOR.

It's the people who
doubt and become cured
while they doubt who
nraise Doan's Pills the
highest.
Aching backs are eased.
Hip, back, and loin pains
overcome. Swelling Of the
limbs and dropsy signs
vanish. 90,
They correct urine with
brick dust sediment, h g Il
colored, pain in passing,
dribbling, frequency, bed bed
wetting. Doan's Kidney Pills
remove calculi and gravel.
Relieve heart palpitation,
sleeplessness, h ca d a C h o,
nervousness, dizziness.
TAYLoRsvILLE, MISS. -
tried everything for a weak {
back and got no relief until L
used Doan's Pills"
j. N. LEWIS.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03

To work fearless1y, to follow earn
estly after truth, to rest with child
like confidence in Gods guidance, to
leave ones lot willingly and heartily to
him-ths is sermon to ones self. If
we could live more within sight OF
heaven. we should care less for the tur-
MOL OF earth.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03
Ask Your Dealer For Aliens Foot-E

Ask Your Dealer For Aliens Foot-Eaae,
A powder to shake into your shoes; rests the
feet. Cures Corns, Bunions, SWOLLEN. Sore,
Hot, Callous, Aching, Sweating Feet and In
growing Nails. Aliens Foot Ease makes new
or tight shoes easy. At all druggists and
shoe stores, 25 cents. Sample mailed FREE.
Address Allen s. Olmsted, Leroy, N. Y.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03

FITS permanently cured. No Ats or nervous.
ness after first days use of DR.. Kline's Great
NerveRestorer. $2trlal bottle and treatisefree
DR.. R. II. KLINE, Ltd, 931 Arch ST., Phila., Pa
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03

The air for the wing of the sparrow,
The bush for the robin and wren,
But ever the path that is narrow
And straight for the children Of men
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03

The ouarrelsome man should remember
that an ounce of prevention Is worth
pound on the nose.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03

When a woman sends telegram she
wants to get her moneys worth by using
the longest words.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03

IN HE most common phases of summer
j catarrh are catarrh of the stomach
and bowels. Peruna is specific for sum-
mer catarrh.
Hon. Willis Brewer, Representative in
Congress from Alabama, writes the follow
ing letter to DR.. Hartman:
House of Representatives,
Washington, ID. G.
The Peruna Medicine Co., Columbus, o..
Gentlemen--"I have used one bottle Of
Peruna for lassitudc and | take pleasure
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03

Tiso' g Cure Is the best medicine we ever used
for all affections of throat and lungs.-WM.
o. EYDsLEY, Vanburen, Ind, Feb. ~, 190O.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03

Familiarity breeds contempt, except
where money is concerned.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03
Tho reason you can get
tl:s trial FREQ is because
they cure Kidney Ills and
will prove it to you.

WEST BRANCH, MIcHA
Doan's Kidney Pills hit
case. which was an un'
desire to urinate - had I
I'D five or six times of q !
Think diabetes was We
der way, the feet and a
swelled. There WIS Q
tense pain in the bac |
heat of whicn world feel ike
putting ones hand up to q
lamp chimney. i have used
the free trial and two full
boxes of Doan's Pills with the
satisfaction Of feeling that ]
am cured. They are the rem
edy par excellence"
3. i. BALLARD.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03

Indianapolis lndy State
ndpnpois College, writes:
health to Peruna Constant raee'
sm1ch
suffered the stomach Ije a
do tchich Ien
ad specific caGrr decd
icees Io"md
few doses ~
keep me In erceLlen heah w.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1903-07-03

in recommending it to those who need a
good remedy. As tonic it Is excellent.
In the short time | have used it is has
done me great deal of good" Willis
Brewer.
If you do not derive prompt and salts
factory results from the Use OF Peruna,f
write at once to Dr. Hartman, giving
full statement of your case and he will be
pleased to give you his valuable advice
gratis M
Address DR.. Hartman, President of The
Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, Ohio.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-11-29

A review of the football season Just
ended perhaps belongs more properly to the
sporting department, and yet it has been
so remarkable in many ways that it may
not be amiss to discuss its results here.
Football has become so firmly rooted in
American colleges and so widely popular
with all classes that on the day after a big
game every newspaper in the land surren-
ders to 1t the largest headlines and the
most prominent position. Thirty years ago
the paper that printed an account of a
football game on its first page would have
made sensation. Examine one of Fri
days papers and see how all other news
was made OF secondary Importance to the
Thanksgiving games.
Thirty years ago American college foot
ball was practically unknown. To-day it is
played In every school in the country and
not only by the schools. but by teams rep
resenting towns and villages. Everybody
goes to see 1.-THE game draws larger
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-11-29

crowds than any other sport, Last Satur-
day 5000 persons saw the FaIe-Harvard
contest in the new Cambridge stadium
Nearly $4,000 seats were sold before the
day of the game. and big prices were paid
for good positions. Yesterday a larger
number of people attended football games
in the United States than ever attended
games of any kind before.
The Harvard stadium is a significant
monument to the foothold so rapidly gained
by this king of amateur sports. A mann
moth structure of steel and stone, costing
more than a quarter Of million dollars,
with seats for 10000 people and a capacity
for 1000 more. this is the only structure of
it's kind in the world. 1t is modelled after
the Coliseum at Rome. and is as nearly
fireproof and safe as it could possibly be
made.
without question this is the greatest
monument to the progress of college sports
in the history of America, and it is mon
ument to amateurism-to clean sport The
curse of American sport has ever been pro-
fessionaIism, but football has so far been
kept clean. In this consists one OF its
points of strength. True, there has been
suspicion and recrimination in isolated
cases, but there are no professional teams.
When such appear the chiefest glory of
football will vanish. Luckily, however, the
season is short and the training long and
arduous, and these two facts doubtless
| have their effect in keeping professionals
| out.
The game of football has met opposition
| in many quarters, but it has won in spite
| of this. 1t has proved too manly sport
| to succumb to the criticisms of those who
thought it too rough" There have been
] fatalities in this as in other games of
| strength. but not more-indeed, it is be-
lieved that there have been fewer than in
other sports which have gone uncriticised.
1t is rough game. 1t is not for weak
lings or for the soft and unframed. 1t is
for the strong. the sturdy, the clean-living,
| clear-eyed, even-tempered youth-the very
| flower of American manhood. AS such, by
its own merit. 1t has won its place In the
hearts Of all lovers o. honest. manly sport.
| There is no menace to American scholar
| ship in a game like this nor to American
character and life. And so when 1t Is said
| that this has been the greatest football
encouraging year for clean amateur sport,
and consequently for wholesome and
| healthy manhood.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-11-29

mortal was built to Field the children's
poet. not to Field the Joker Artemus Ward
is unhonored in brass or marble. and the
host of dead jesters-where are their
tombs? They made US laugh until the tears
ran down our checks; they died, and the
laugh died, too, though the tears remained
awhile-and now we remember neither the
joke nor the jester. After time they will
be utterly forgotten, though they did their
part toward making life endurable, and did
it well.
Some of our great humorists will always
be remembered, but this will be on account
of some other quality than their power to
produce a laugh. A smile is an evanescent
thing; there is deeper. more lasting note in
true humor. Some day monuments may be
erected to Mark Twain. and his works will
endure for many a year, because he struck
this note.
SO, perhaps, it would be well to perpetu-
ate the memory of the professional joke
makers in marble. They do a noble work
they make suffering humanity laugh. 1t is
too bad that they should be so soon forgot
ten. 1t is not their fault that their jokes
get stale and their jests lose all their point
with the passing of years. They write for
the hour, and for an hour they live. They
ought to be remembered for their services
to mankind; so, if their works do not re-
main, they should have statues to their
| memory A Shakespeare, a Homer. Hugo
| these need no monuments. Their works re-
| main to show us what they were far better
| than stone could ever do, but the memory
of Bill Nye and an Artemus Ward should
| be perpetuated.
| There is pathos about this passing OF
| the humorists. How hard they worked to
| make US merry, and how little there is left
Of all their labor "Alas. poor Yorick!'
| says Hamlet, as he stumbles over an empty
| skull. and but for this chance we should not
know that such a fellow Of infinite jest ever
| lived. Laughter and tears are such little
| step apart: Hood uses his latest breath to
make pun; Ward gasps funny story In
the face of death; Dagonet casts aside his
cap and bells and at his masters feet sobs
| out
"I am thy fool,
| And shall never make thee smile again!'
| Truly, to these poor dead testers we owe
| the tribute of some small memorial.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-11-29
ABOUT PEOPLE AND THINGS.

Pike county. Indiana, will show at the worlds
fair cube Of coal eleven feet thick.
Much fruit IL In cold storage at Houston for
the Texas fruit exhibit at the worlds fair
Among the fruit are Ponderosa lemons larger
than Rocky Ford melons. Some specimens weigh
as much as two pounds.
Rev. James William Adams, the only clergy
man who the Victoria cross. has Just
died in England. He won IL during Robsrts's
march to Ksndahar. rescuing two wounded Ian
GERS under the fire OF the enemy.
King Lewanica, ruler OF Basutoland. Is edu-
eating several OF his many sons In England and
Australia and has Just sent one to be placed
in a school at Winfield. Kan The boy will
board with a colored man and will be allowed
$500 year for expenses.
Prince Nicholas OF Montenegro. the comic
opera ruler OF the Black Mountain principally
which has a population less than that OF Rhode
Island. was a great athlete In his younger days
a capital shot and splendid swordsman. He is
also writer OF prose and verse.
An entertainer who visited the FIJI islands
and gave his performance before the natives
had the following receipts for one night: Four
sucking pigs. 500 cocoanats. 1000 OF a common
class of moonstone collected the beach, forty
pearls twenty-three model canoes. 200 yards OF
native cloth. forty-two Eli costumes. three
whales teeth. hundreds Of sharks teeth. one or
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-11-29
A NYE MoNuMENT

1t Is proposed TO build monument I'm
memory of the late Edgar Wilson Nye, bet
ter known to the American reading public
as bill Nye." A large number of people
have expressed their readiness to contribute
literally to such a project. and its pro-
motors preparing to take preliminary
action In the matter.
If this suggestion is carried out it will
probably be the first monument ever erect
ed to professional funny man." Eugene
Field was a humorist, but the Field me-
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-11-29

two csrtlcads OF beautiful coral war implements.
such a. spears. khobsticks and knives. nafits
mats and pillows and seven grog bowls
Both hansen ana everdrup have declared their
firm resolve never 70 undertake another polar
expeditioyg. sverdrup has left Norway. perhaps
for ell time. His health has been very poor
ever sinds his return from his last expedition.
and he has gone 10 the Canary islands, where
he expee.s to remain some years
In her article on The True Character Of the
New York Schools" in the December Worlds
Work Adele Marie Shaw says; Esther Obe-r-
helm in THE entering class changes to Esther
o'Brien Ia the next grade Down in Marion
street dary-eyed son Of Naples who came last
spring "a Guiseppi vsgnotti appeared in Septem-
Der as Mike Jones'"
Some fears ago that bright and witty Jucge
George &. barnard was on the bench listening
to young howery lawyer arguing motion be-
fore him The youthful limb OF the law wound
up his Seroration by remarking: why. your
Honor. Chat precedent was established when the
stars fist sang together" We'll" said the
Judge. ut will cost $40 for being al that con-
cert: deny your motion
Nine. sTakahira. wife OF the Japanese minis
ter to the United States. prefers American cos
tunes t. those OF her sisters in the East Mad
am is tae only Oriental woman presiding over
a legatifn Washington. She is a dainty little
rpman. with the exquisiteiy delicate molding OF
the Jar.anese. She is scarcely five feet but
graceful. her carriage and movements She
has learned TO speak English fuently since her
arrival IN this country three years ago.
Here IS a story told of the late Mrs. Booth
Tucker well worth remembering: She was q
girl OF thirteen and true child OF her parents.
when walking one day along the shore at Ports
mouth with her governess she saw . donkey
cart being driven rapidly by lad who was
furiouslS belaboring the poor beast. Breaking
away from Ter companion she rushed after n,
and pulled the boy from his seat. Catching up
his stick she showered blows upon the lads head
and shoulders. with the words. uttered amid
tears. there now. how do you like n?'' Per-
haps hes pleading proved more powerful than the
blows: but In n few moments the boy was kneei-
Ing beside the donkey asking Gods forgiveness
fer his cruelty. The climax came with the girl
driving back triumphantly in the cart beside the
boy. VITO promised henceforth TO be kind and to
| treat his donkey we'll
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-11-29

in the record or the evidence to show that
the ordinance was ieveled at the sunfiower.
1t added that the offense proved would be
just the same If the sunfiowers were elm
mated from consideration. and that If the
defendant had obeyed the notice from the
health commissioner by cutting the weeds
ably not have been proceeded against. The
right of the defendant to grow weeds on
his city lot said the court, lis subordinate
to the right of society that he shall not do
so, because he would thereby endanger the
health of others" The court held that the
city ordinance was not unconstitutional,
but 1t seems to have lodged the point
whether the sunfiower is a weed or not.