The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-01-22
The Nonpareil Man
CASUALLY Observed

( !"
Mysterious knocking is heard in the
vicinity of the Marconi wireless ether
ticker. 1t is probably some Atlantic
cable director or stakeholder knocking
Marconi
All the hay feverite has to do now when
the sneezeritis comes on is to stay in his
room for eight weeks with the windows
tight shut and lap up DR.. Dunbar's serum
Inc weather sharps are predicting an
early spring. We predict that we will vet
be, wealthy enough to have our morning
chocolate brought to us in bed.
Rev. VIM. M. Round Of the Lead-a-
ldand movement says he likes to feel that
the earth somehow belongs to the people.
Mr.. Round wants to disabuse himself Of
these anarchistic notions
Charles M. Schwab is now said to be suffer-
ing from ataxia, WHICH means that his useful
ness rs ended. Whether his breakdow is due
70 ms WORK or not. we have resolved not to
wreck our constitution trying to earn amillion
a year.-Thoughts OH Things - Tx
we earn the million dollars a year all
right enough but we have resolved not to
wreck our constitution trying to collect it,
Teacher got into a tight place the other
morning and this is a true story. AS she
was leaving her room to go to her daily
duties she opened the window. The draft
blew the door shut. The snap lock did
or didn't or the key was or wasn't, the
exact facts are not known, but. at any
rate, the door was fast shut and teacher
was inside. She "hollered' and pounded
but to no effect. Finally noticing the
transom she in her. haste endeavored to
unfold her future wings and fly through
The result was not a success. A section
I of her anatomy refused to pass through
| the portal and then the cutlery that arose
sounded like, an alarm Of fire in a female
seminary combined with mouse scare.
pushed back in, a locksmith sent for and
the principal of the school telephoned OF
| the awful predicament. T. =
At $3.50 teacher appeared at her desk
breathing out slaughter and threstenings
and the pupil that threw papier mache
balls that day got a rap with the pointer
that Jared his little teeth. -.
Manager Robert Scott of the Metro
poltan theater has written a beautiful
prose poem on THE Old Mill Stream
He says: - =.
The old; mill stream! ...; +
| What a rush Of memories of childhood its
mere mention brings back to every Of us
memories of days when life, instead of being
bitter struggle for existence, summer
idyl, and the future, instead of being mental
speculation, a rainbow of promise. I'D.
The old mill stream!
We can hear the murmur of its ripping music
even now across the years that separate youth
from age.
The old mill stream!
That eternal river Of Fancy that divides the
years. ..*.' -
Mr.. Scott is right. The old mill stream
How we'll we remember sporting in it's
pellucid water all ignorant of the fact
that Peewee Jackson and Nuisance Norris
were tying our shirt on the green slipping
bank into eighteen intricate hard knots
and. wetting these same knots and pound
ing them with a stone SO they would
ShOld. 80 'Sc-%'- E-- II .-'.r' 81
The old mill stream! How the eternal
river Of fancy has flowed over the memory
Of the time when J. Fremont Jennings
grabbed us by the nape Of the neck and
| the seat of our little panties and tossed
US in with a terrific splash for throwing
stones at his high blooded dog and how
we afterwards tried to- poison the same
dog to get even and how the fool pup
wouldn't eat the stuff!
| Glorious, carefree days Of youth! MOI
| only were we tossed into the stream but
| our father afterwards frisked our person
! with a section of the harness for getting
wet! lf 49,, :.
Who, wouldn't be a boy again and getii
! in the neck Whatever happened-and3 from
both Sides. - -, ~ = q" ,%IS&S Js-+- -