West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-06-25
B0MSER, THE painter
He Takes a Half Day on to WELD Brush
on the Doorsteps.

4
morning atthe usual time without a hin
that he would be home before the Dime,
hour, but shortly before noon he reappear
ed carrying a pot OF ready-mixed paint and
a new brush. In reply TO Mrs. Bowser',
look OF Inquiry. he explained
"when went out this morning I noticed
that the front steps needed painting. ant
being It wasa pleasant day | thought IL
come home aud do the Job"
II was going to speak about Il In da,
or two and ask you to get a painter sh,
replied.
| There Is no call for painter. | go
this much paint and this brush for O. 60
aud that will be all the cost. A painter
would have charged at least g. can do
the work In two hours. and he would have
dawdled around for three days"
But you set out to varnlsh the front
door two years ago and"
And vanished H. A jealous mlnded
painter told me to mix In castor oil and
the door didn't dry for month. but that
was not my fault.
And last year you painted the front
| fence and"
And made good job OF It. too. Every.
body brushed against Il, aud had three
OF four fights, but it's the best looking
fence on the street to-day. It's no use
your trying to discourage me. can save
IS and have little play-spell at the same
tlmc' and I'm going to do Il. I'll show you
set OF steps up which a king would be
proud to walk"
That settled IL. Half an hour later he
had got into an old suit OF clothes and was
ready Tor business. His FIRST move was to
paint sign OF Paint" and stick u up on
the gate, and he had hardly begun on the
steps when man came along aud halted
TO say;
IL do not exactly understand. see no
paint on this gate. Is II that you intend to
paint II later on1"
Don't you see paint on these steps 20
asked MIR. Bowser. as he rose up.
IL do, but the steps arc not the gate. I
am naturally OF a con6ding, trusting disposI.
tion. sir but this Is going too far TOO far.
IL you really intend to paint the gate, have
nothing TO say. but II your object Is to
deceive people, then. sir--then let me say
that you are an old scoundrel and pass on. -
MI bowser got down TO the gate as fast
as he could, but the kicker had too much
the start OF him. He took down the sign.
however and nailed 1t up on the steps. and
after brushing away for IS minutes he en-.
tered the basement for drink Of water.
He came out to find knfcgrinder about
TO ring the front door bell, and after one
look lie yelled
Get out OF this. you Internal IDIOT
Didn't you see the sign and the paintp"
You gotta no shears TO sharpen, eh1"
inquired the man, as he made new tracks
in the fresh paint.
MIR. Bowser grabbed for him. but he
twisted and lodged and made bolt for
the gate
The work then went on for half an hour
without interruption, and IL was a man and
dog who broke In upon the harmony
The Bowser cat had come out OF doors for
sun bath AS the dog came trotting along
he espied her and pushed open the gate
The cat ran up the steps and the dog after
her, and both slid and slipped and came
rolling down again as Mr.. Bowser rose up
and cried out at the man leaning on the
gate:
by thunder, you let that dog in here
you ought to be rolled In the road"
II didn't let him In. I" replied the man,
but you needn't get huGy about II. lie
hasn't hurt your old cat any"
But look az the front steps,"
And look at my dog. It'll take two
hours to get the paint off him"
lfa policeman hadn't come saunterlng
along there would have beena grapple.
but he kicked the dog and ordered the
owner TO move on, and Mr. Bowser put in
the next half hour picking hairs out OF the
paint and smoothing over tracks
Then he went around the corner 10 the
paint store 10 get pinch OF putty. and on
his way back he saw man open the gate
and walk up the steps and ring the bell
That man was marked for destruction.
He had rung for the second time when he
heard a great clstter and a hoarse breath.
ing behind him. but before he could turn
around he was yanked backward down the
steps and mopped over the spring grass.
lie was man who was canvassing the
street 10 the interest OF a home for old cats
and had been told that Mrs. Bowser
wouldn't give less than tfo. but he didn't
stop Tor the subscription. lie wigRled
loose while Mr. Bowser was trying TO geta
better hold. and he didn't stop TO say good.
bye as he fed
''Durn ny hide u don't dabble nv
hands 10 human gore" gssped Mr.. Bowser,
as Mrs. Bowser came to the door 10 asa
him not TO Kill anyone. I'm going 20 pain,
these steps II we have esrthquskos
cyclones and cataclysms by the dozen. and
the DeSt thing on legs that walks on EN-
has got to der
Il was dinner time before the work was
done. Then q board was nailed across
the sign Of Paint" was holsted into a
conspicuous place. and Mr. Bowser retired
from the field with feeling Of complscence.
lie changed his clothes. ate his dinner and
sanniercd out for en- evening view Of bis
work
What be saw struck him dead IN his
tracks The board had been removed and
four iramps we're sitting on the freshly
painted steps In attitudes Of detection. As
he appeared one Of them arose and said.
Please. kind sir. could you assist four
worthy but unfortunate men who are on
their way West to grow up with the
country"
Mr.. Bowser couldn't lie leaned up
against the house and his cigar went out
and the night came down and when Mrs
Bowser and the cook 6nally cos1ed him
inside. he glarod around him and his llps
moved without uitering words. and Il was
plain ihat some awful shock had upset his
mental system