The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-08-21
SPARKS


When the poetry microbe strikes a
place. trouble is sure to ensue. Wit
ness the following by the society
/ editor:
There's man in Salt Lake society
W no causes his friends much anxiety;
/ lie comes home very far from sobriety.
Achieving much bad notoriety.
EVidencing great lack Of piety
Ard causing his poor wife 70 cry at he.
The sporting editor emptied his pipe
eight times while he was dashing of
this:
The player wet his knotted hands
And wickedly smashed the sphere:
/ lie started around the bases four
/ W ME there rang out cheer on cheer.
| On, JOY. all the people shouted
/ As they watched the runner roam;
! Its fOur-base hit by gravy.
! ITS a sure case of home sweet home.
But out away in the middle field
y player ensnared the ball,
And the man running round the bases
Never got home at al. at all
The city editor, never too busy to
release bit Of choice and seasonable
sentiment, turned in this:
oh. the rain. the beautiful rain.
Filling the earth and the hOusetops be-
The advertising man came in and
left the following:
CAir. Tale of a Bundle Bee'D
On good people an I've q message for
you.
l want to tell YOU kindly what YOU really
/ ought TO do
There'll be moss on your back and tears
in your eyes
If YOU don't wake up forthwith and
freely advertise.
| The fanfto,. hoco,,,, q. eeo,+o,4 .,,,l 40
istered his kick thus
OF troubles in this building the janitor
| has the most;
He ',ways does his very best and ever
| scOrns to boast
OF what he does TO make things go He's
busy day and night
Cleaning up the premises and setting
wrong things right;
And IL seems 10 him the brainery could
ma, work an hour or more
| Without getting paper three feet deep
upon the office floor.
The chief editorial writer believes
this the best thing he ever wrote.
| Everyone else knows it's the truest
thing he ever wrote:
wrinkle up my brow while and then
And then I bend my brow again and
that's very good sign
/ There II be some editorial If 1 can think
of aE~ther line.
The police reporter poured out his
heart in the following touching lines:
Oh, / look at vags and 1 look at rags
TN l feel as ragged rs thunder.
NIX with the cops and l write up the
Till I sometimes think it's wonder
With the things 1 do and the things
My wits are not all gone.
! 1 see the DRINKS in the lookup hunks
| Snoring TO beat the band;
And dream Of thugs and 1 dream of
jugs
But / have to DO. on hand
, h1ach DAY At three and it's up to me
W., 10 cover the run till dawn
When / have the time and have the
7 hit the street lunch wagon:
II have five more, fly for the door
| Which hides the foaminE flagOn
Oh my work is rough and my friends
are tough.
And my LIES not song and laughter
! With crime to detect. I cannot reflect
on the decent things OF life:
No time 10 rest. M moment blcst
To think of homo or a wife.
! Ny career Is such can't hope for much
When | move TO the hereafter.
The star reporter submitted this
characteristic bit:
OF All the. things that ever was"
! There was never one like me;
I
J I'm the great and only THE.
| get the easy work 10 do
! As YOU would infer. OF course.
Because-let me make plain to you
| m the star of all the force.
The telegraph editor welcomed the
| opportunity To tell what he thinks OF
the Associated Press in these lines:
l sit here AT my desk all night
And weep and shrek and swear
] At the awful bunch OF foolishness
/ That comes from everywhere.
| My desk is nearly hidden
BY the rub1isf refuse
And out Of thirty miles of stuff
get foot OF news.
And this came from the man behind
| the checks:
There's plenty of slop turned out in the
! shop.
But It's my work makes the hit
The man with the pen and the man
with the mop.
! All hands appreciate il.
4 l don't write much. but tho magic touch
OF my pen makes faces bright:
| a case of no cash means a case OF no
hash.
SO they welcome the stuff I write.
| work once Il week but all hands speak
I'm the main kadosh Of the whole kibosh
For / edit the glad payroll
! II lOuIlSlS WOULD quit SeLLnS killed
/ while attempting to scale the Alps,
| mountain climbing would soon lose its
popularity.
If the big iron works in San Fran
! cisco had gone into the hands OF a
| receiver and suspended operations be-
fore the Oregon had been turned out.
! there is one European nation. which
| would have been much obliged.
Carrie Nation is convalescing again.
She has become strong enough to break
into jail in New Jersey.
! When / hear man called colonel. -
said the Sagebrush Sage, Il always
| take look at him to see if he is q
| face powder or a gun powder colonel"
S. NJ. Roosevelt a cousin to the presi-
| dent. has had his yacht run down by
! a steamer in Long Island sound thus
obtaining sufficient notoriety to justify
him in claiming relationship.
SILT PALACE