The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-09-08

says Jul ucISS Jill lIA5 LII
never cop right. and OATS French
cooking and eating. All dat religion,
politics, Wall street, and sporting news
Is to Americans, eating Is to de
French.
Oats de trouble wit your dinky
nation" L says to Duchess. IF dey
goes to war dey gets licked: if dey
digs a subway it's a. grave; if dey
breeds racers dey is skates; if dey
plays polo dey only cuts up de turf; if
dey fights duals dey only makes faces,
all because dey is never tinkIng about
de ting dey is making a bluff at, but
is thinking about how DER grub is to be
sauced."
Mostly 1 can get a fall out Of Ouch
ess by pulling a hammer on de
French, but dis time she only gives
me the baby stare, and says,
"Cheems," she say "Cheems, you
have only of the ignorance of what
you speak. Besides dat dey is de
greatest people on cart, de French is
de most brave. de most noble, and de
only ones dat knows how to dress.
Dey did everything before anybody else
done it. Did We not got to see
M'sieu Suddern in de American play
vi I1dIIlICl last LCdIy anu All0 we nor
see de same play by Madam Bern
hardt-LAiglong'-de year before? De
French is always ahead.|
o your way, wOm4nI" / says.
"Hamlet was wrote for Eddie Suddern
by an Englishman, mot by CIyte
DE more shame to de E~nglishman
who stole it from A'sieu Kostant"
Duchess says. De- English never
knowed how to fight until Napoleon
teached EN-; dey VIII never know how
to paint or SCULPTOR, no matter who
tries to learn 'em. 1t is only de tings
dat France has forgot, dat any odder
country does we'll"
"Dey had a good brand of hot air
on top, anyway" 1 says But tell
me, why doessdey put garlic in a leg
Because de- sheep hasn't de sense
to put garlic in his own leg" she says.
But YOU has de bad temper dis
city, ana We will dine at de restaur-
ant of $de husband of my fren, Julie.
IL Win be my treat, for Julie is de
damf du compton, and she charges
me Jtotting for dinner, so delicieux it Is
for her to nave de langwudge spoke to
her polite"
.LAnd OATS no dream. Fider; Julie
Used to be a lady's maid, n she's
50 tickled to have Duchess come to
oO III SIAAu S1NC ICI uC IlCN -
of de swell set. dat dey never asks us
for de price-and OATS why de dinner
at jules is Duchess most favorite
treat.
We eats at Jacques-dat's jules
hubby, between meal times, so dat dey
can eat wit US; and de walters dimes
wit us too. It's den dat Duchess tells
Julie de talk of de swift set, dat we
bears at our place; and de tings she
tells must h warm proposition. for Ju-
lie Mon Dieusi' and humps her eye
brOws like she was only two jumps
derstand. for dey comes from a kind
of a HObOken of France where some
sort of French yiddish is spoke, n
can't cop de real Paris article dat
Duchess spOuts. OATS a good ting,
too; for when Duchess gets passing
out de latest extrays about de little
lad in de brass band set dat carries a
wrist bag, and wears a rose in his
thatch at night, it wouldn't DO dose
backWOOds Trenches no good to hear
de whole story.
Jacques gives each of de walters q
bot of claret for dinner; but dat day
one of EN- was locked his red wine
and made to drink tea, because he'd
broke so many dishes; and de poor
chap cried so much over his hard luck
dat he made de tea salty. Den he said
it wasn't so bad.
But dat wasn't what I was going
to tell you only sometimes I get Won
dering so hard why all folks amt like
Americans dat l has to sing a song
about it-or have a fit. I was saying
dat to Mr.. Paul de odder day, when
We was trying to see would his sloop
sail as we'll on her rail as her keel.
Yes, Chames," he says, de Ameri-
can people couldn't do a wrong act if
dey tried. Dey is a generous, just, pa
triotic and grateful people; and dey
I'll 80 10 49, -
by a man who forgets to show gener-
osity and gratitude and justice, in
stead of meanneSS, ingratitude, and
unfairness in all his acts. At de club
de odder day I was talking dis over
wit General Miles. and he says
Just den a sQuall hits us, and me
and Mr.. Paul has to swim ashore. so
I never heard what de general said.
1t don't cut no ice. anyway, for Mr..
Paul, when he starts out wit a lot of
dude langwudge like dose woids. is
mostly training for a match wit
Whiskers.
AS I was saying. dat wasn't what
/ was going to tell you about. Re.
members de job dat Duchess puts UP
to make Whiskers get togedder Wit
Wiley Wildly? Well. when Whiskers
seen dere was no more treSnassin~ on
de graS he got foul Of his shy streak
again, and him and wildly was so far
apart dat he couldn't see her. Dat
makes Duchess so mad she could
scream, for she is bound to get Whis-
kers located in his own freside. so dat
Miss Fanny can be made to take trips
to Paris. and odder neckS Of woods
where Duchess wants to go. and where
Miss Fannie won't go SO long as her
pa has no home of his WI.
1 don't make it my business to fuss
wit tings like dose, for I'm satisfied
wit me job as it lays; all de same I
TrnlNl6n'f OIT- LOT His 40 n NIX
would put up a yell if Whiskers HAD
a shack to run all by himself, and
didn't nave so much time to run hers.
Mr. Paul doesn't say noting. He's a
wise guy, Mr.. Paul Is. and so long ~
Whiskers stands half de price of run
ming our places, dat leaves Mr.. Paul
more OF his own long green to turn
away on yachts and tings dat boins
money like a tree-calI fire alarm. But
just de same, if Whiskers has a latch
key on a different block from US I
can't see Mr. Paul putting his leg out
of Joint kicking ahoUT n P,,f ~ aip'f