The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-08-29

:. SPARKS:
ons o. Lipton,s Trials.

Onc or LlplOu 1Ild1S.
Oh Thomas. Thomas Upton. our. hearts
Ne sympathize win you, Sir Tom. We
really. truly do.
j. isn't SO much that YOU stand slight
show 10 win the cup.
lut because Of all the many ways your
visagc is shown Up
For Tommy. lad. you must have seen the
way they've pictured you
In photograph and lithograph. in sketch
and half-tOnes tooi
They've cartooned you. Sir Thomas, al
over this broad land.
And Liptons face and LiptOn's smile
greet us on ovcry hand
Tho camera fiend is on your track when
ever YOU step OUt,
with dogged perseverance grim he fol-
lows YOU about;
And should YOU chance 10 light your pipe
or sip your own fine tea,
The next days papers picture 1t 50 all
tho world may see.
They've placed you in a tea box. and in a
shamrock leaf,
They've shown you fun OF gladness,
they We shown YOU full OF SrieI
They've shown YOU riding on boat and
riding on a whale,
The wonder is they haven't shown you
riding on a rail.
Your portrait is surrounded by ropes, ana
spars, and sails;
With sea views just below it, and no day
ever fails
To bring to us a sketch OF You and your
good uatured smile,
IS YOU stand ION the Erin deck 70 chdt
with friends awhile.
Sir Thomas. as your friends we hope you
get that cup some day
Not list because you've tried so hard 10
take the thing away.
But so that sometime YOU may come q
friendly caN 10 make. go
And not have cameras aimed at you each
time step you take
Rea Of tho "hardships' of the
uatio. lsrdsmen in camp Is what
makes many OF the G.. A. r. veterans
go smp s.g ABOUT the streets these
days.
TWO clearly defined factions having
been discovered i'm the ranks OF the
Young Mems Republican club, 1t Is
proper 10 state that the campaign Is
now open.
The man convicted of assault for
bouncing a wash bowl off the head OF
a fellow mortal overlooked possible
defense by not setting up that the one
struck needed the services Of the BOWL
If young Ralph Pulitzer keeps on
violating the game laws of western
states Il is possible his distinguished
father will find it necessary to scale
down that S2.O00,0O0 donated for school
of journalism.
Another reason why Z. II. Hartman
is so gratified by the showing the Re
IiaDce has made is that his dear friend
j. J. Hin, is part owner Of the Amer
/ lean boat
General Wood is back in Manila from
Borneo and is said to be, fully as tame
/ as when he left.
/ Having seen many pictures of botf
/ Reliance and Shamrock III, could yot
/ even now tell which is which if thu
names were not printed below them?
The sultan must be a smooth graftei
| to enroll $50 battaliOns Of soldiers
when il is well known that ne does no
supply them with either pay or board
1t might not be a wild shot however
| TO assume that he has promised then
4 half Of all they can steal and this
! would help to explain the Macedonian
! atrocities.
II the Democrats Of Ohio can sc
| Senator Hanna into a joint debate OF
the pOstOfiice trouble and get him e
| commit himself on that question the.
will have accomplished a great work.
In Pennsylvania a negro was re
| Gently shot during a crap game. Shot
are to be expected in crap games.
The flies appear to be wiser in regar'
! to typhoid than the doctors. We lear
| that flies carry typhoid germs abOu
I with them. but no case of typhoi
I among the flies has ever been reported
IF the little pests would tip off thei
system Of guarding against the diseas
we would be tempted to forgive pas
annOyances.
The estimated apple crop Of this yea
amounts to over half barrel for ever
man, woman and child in the Unite
States. but you don't have to eat hal
a barrel Of apples this winter unles
you so desire.
If Arkansas has as much sportin
blood as il is supposed to have Suprem
Judge Wood, who knocked his pOlitica
| opponent, Governor Davis, off the plat
form. should be elected by a PRACTICAL
unanimous vote.