davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
AS YOU LIKE 1T.

Food for thought doesn't satisfy
hungry man.
The divorce lawyer continually
breaks up housekeeping.
A good fellow is generally one you
can borrow money from.
A man may fall dead in love and
still come to life again.
No, Maudie dear; there is no reason
why light sleeper shouldn't sleep
just as we'll in the dark.
The inventor of a flying machine is
rather pleased to have people remark
that he is up in the air
When a woman knows something
that is too good to keep, it's too bad
if she can't find anyone to tell it to.
art for arts sake is very nice in
theory says the stranded actor, but
you can't eat three-sheet posters"
There is much similarity between
the poet and the hen. They both sing
their lays, and both scratch for a
living
That new clerk comes in late every
mo- ming, STOWleQ the n6dQ OF Ln9
firm. Perhaps he is one of those
persons who believe the Office should
seek the man." suggested the silent
partner.
Mrs. Muggins-So you went to Nj
agara Falls, Ell? Did you ever hear
anything more imp essive than the
roar Of the water? Mrs. Buggins-
Only the roar my husband let out
when he got his hotel bill
Il desire an audience with the man
ager,' remarked the dignifed, smooth
faced person as he approached the
box Office Of the theater. "Step right
in," replied the man in the box office.
81 think he's looking for a few audi
ences himself"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
A SENTENCE TO FIT THE CRIME.

The thanks of the public are due to
Judge Kellogg, Of Yonkers, n. Y, for
imposing a six months sentence Of
Imprisonment upon a man convicted
of reckless conduct resulting III col
lision with a street car. if the proof
justified the conviction. A New York
daily assails the judge for imposing
such a punishment without the usual
alternative of fine. The only ques
ton in the case. which it is fair to as
sumo was correctly decided upon the
trial. is one of fact. The justice OF
the sentence, if the facts are proved,
is beyond dispute. The plea for an
option to pay a fine in lieu Of imprisOn
ment is really a whine for immunity
from punishment. Many of those who
endanger the lives of others by reck-
less use of automobiles would care
nothing for a fine. If legal penalties
have any purpose whatever, it is to
prevent crime, and a penalty that the
offender can treat with contempt is
only farce. Whatever sympathy we
may feel for wrongdoers who have
been merely reckless, and not male
VIOLENT, it remains true that punish
ment must be made to hurt if it is to
be efficacious. Judge Kellogg's dec1-
sion is a recognition Of this truth,
and, if justified by the facts, it is just
and righteous altogether.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
Kissed Till He tainted,

The power of the feminine kiss
is admitted the world over, but there
are some illustrations of it's potency
that make interesting reading. The
pretty girls of Australia recently
kissed fair British soldier until he
tainted. 1t was on occasion of the
arrival of the Australian soldiers at
Melbourne from the seat of war. They
were welcomed by a gathering whose
enthusiasm the police were quite
pOWerIess to control. The female
portion was particularly demonstrative
and in many instances the brave
fighters were literally torn from the
ranks to receive a veritable hurricane
OF favOrs from fair lips. Many of
them were overcome and one of the
sturdiest and handsomest OF the
soldiers actually tainted under the
storm Of labial salutation conferred
by over 800 Victorian damsels.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
Women Engaging in All CaIIings.

Women workers are invading every
line OF employment. The census OF
1900 makes returns for 800 separate
occupations; and in only eight OF
these do women workers fail to ap-
pear.
None will be surprised that there
are no women among the soldiers.
sailors and marines of the United
States government, yet there are 153
women employed as 'boatmen" and
sailors
Women have not as yet invaded the
ranks of the city fire department, still
not less that $40 women are returned
in the same general class of watch
men, policemen and detectives"
There are no women street car
drivers, though there are two women
motormen and ID women conductors.
They have not as yet taken up the
employment of telegraph and tele-
phone "linemen," yet 22,556 of them
are operators for these companies.
There are no women apprentices
and helpers among the roofers and
skaters, yet two women are returned
as engaged in these employments.
There are 126 women plumbers; As
plasterers; 1877 brick layers and stone
masons; 241 paperhangers; 1859
painters and GLACIERS, and 545 women
carpenters and joiners.
No women are returned as helpers
to steam boilermakers, but eight wo-
men work at this industry as full me-
chanics. There are 1913 women black
smiths; 571 machinists; 1870 women
workers in iron and steel; $50 in
brass, and 1,775 women workers in tin.
Among other unusual employment
for women are 100 workers as ''lum-
bermen and raftsmen;" 113 wood
choppers; 373 sawmill employees; 44O
bartenders; 2,0S6 saloonkeepers; 9O4
''draymen" and transfers; 323 under
takers; 143 stonecutters 63 quarry
men, 65 whitewashers; II wellbor-
ers, and III stationary engineers and
firemen.-Mahin's Magazine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08

Cruz the cold was so great as to cause
immense loss to the planters of cane,
coffee, bananas, etc. The loss was
estimated at $4,000 600 by the papers,
and I can well believe it. What the
weather was like with you l do not
remember, but if it was broportionate
it must have been terrific. nearly equal
to the blizzard of 1888. Speaking of
that storm reminds me that we hard
ly experienced anything Of it here,
only some rather cold weather and a
very faint attempt at snow, as far as
can remember
In the winter of 1S96-97 and that of
1928, we had some severe weather,
with an abundance of snow, and even
some ice. But the winter of 1S9S-99
will long be remembered here. Even
the oldest inhabitant could not remem-
Der having ever witnessed such a cold
spell before. Not only was there snow,
but we had weather so cold that the
ground froze so that it rang to the
tread, and the "esteros" (cut-offs)
were frozen from bank to bank, and
the ice was over an inch in thickness
We, at the 26th degree, are in the
semi-tropical belt, and an inch of ice
and snow did not last long, but they
left their mark behind. Not only
fruit trees and garden shrubs, such as
figs, oranges, lemons, lines, pome-
granates, bananas, peaches, roses,
oleanders, etc, were killed, or cut
down to the ground, branches, some
of quite a size and even small shrubs
and trees. could be seen everywhere.
The people now date from it, as it
forms a vivid memorial in their
simple annals.
But these exceptional cold snaps are
rare, and our winters, as a rule, are
very mild. Even down to Christmas
it remains open and warm, compare
lively speaking. Our coolest weather
as elsewhere, comes in January, but
often, as in our last winter, we pass
through with only one hard frost
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
AN ANCIENT GAELIC SPORT.
Hurting Is Being Revived Among New
York Athletes.

The recent Introduction to New
York Of the Irish game of hurting has
aroused much interest and curiosity in
that very ancient sport. This was the
national game in Ireland before a
stone was laid in the foundation of the
first house in ancient Rome.
The Irish were SO devoted to athlet-
ic sports that when Lugaidh Lamhfada
Ougee the Longhanded), who ascend
ed the throne of Ireland nearly 1900
years before the birth of Christ, de-
sired to erect a permanent memorial
of his gratitude to Talti, wife of the
last king Of the Fir-Bolgs, who had
aided and befriended him in his youth
+ he used neither marble nor granite,
as he did not consider them enduring
| enough to withstand the ravages of
! time, but instead he founded a memo
rial of his countrymen's athletic pro-
clivities that has survived the vicissi-
tudes of $500 years. He instituted
the Tailteen games, which embraced
hurting, football, handball, stone-throw-
ing, running, jumping and all the
other branches of athletics which are
| known to this day at Gaelic athletic
sports.
| These games were held annually
two weeks before and two weeks after
August /. and it is from this common
Grafton so instituted by him that the
caIenders of August are called Lughna-
sa Uoonasa)-that is, the Nasadh or
memorial of Lugaidh.
| Hurting is a strenuous game and
admirably adapted to the impetuous
/ temperament Of the Gauls, and many
a battlefield in Europe and elsewhere
| bears convincing testimony to the
character of the athletic training re-
ceived in their youth. The immortal
Davis, describing the charge of the
Irish brigade at Fontenoy, faithfully
delineates the characteristic onslaught
of the hurlers when he says:
One volley crashes from their line,
When, through the surging smoke,
With empty guns clutched in their
hands
The headlong Irish broke.
| Ally person WHO watches d uuII1uS
match cannot fail to note the fearless
impetuosity of the players, who rush
in entirely oblivious of danger where
bats that would fracture mans skull
are fiercely brandished with seeming
Indifference as to results. Their OBJ
ject is to obtain the ball for their side,
and when once obtained with what de-
termined energy and consummate
ability it is carried through the ranks
of their opponents poised on the end
of the bats, and when tackled how
adroitly it is tossed over the heads of
the tacklers by the player, who at the
same time sidesteps the blockers and
picks up the ball again on the end of
his bat and gets as near to the oppo-
site goal as the players on that side
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
Poem to the Gar.

(To the car, on a woman, political
prisoner, being flogged TO 1eathin
Siberia).
How many drops must gather to the
skies
Before the cloud-burst comes, we
may not know;
How hot the fires in under bells
must glow
Ere the volcanoes scalding lavas
rise,
None can say; but all but the hour is
sure,
Who dreams Of vengeance has but
to endure!
He may not. say how many blows
must fall,
How many lives be broken on the
wheel,
How many corpses stiffen meath the
pail,
How many martyrs fix the blood
red seal;
But certain is the harvest time or
hate!
And when weak means, by an indig-
nant world
Re-echoed to a throne are backward
hurled,
Who listens hears the mutterings of
fate!
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
Watches for MeneIik,

Scarcely anything in Europe inter
ests Emperor Menelik, of Abyssinia,
so much as the watches which are
made there, and his courtiers say that
whenever he visits Europe he will
spend much of his time in warch fac
tories, especially in those of Switzer-
land.
A chronometer which only varies 10
seconds in two months was recently
presented to him. and he was deeply
impressed with it. He will probably,
however, be more impressed with a
watch which is now being manufac-
tured for him in Zurich, since it is
provided with a complete set of bells,
and, as regards form, it is a perfect
miniature copy of Westminster
Abbey.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08

open When they finally bring the
elephants to the proper spot, which
at times consumes several weeks. the
animals are excited by shouts and all
manner of noises, the waving of hands,
spears, etc. They are then moved
toward the Enclosure, which is cum
ningly concealed by trees. When the
operation takes place al night the
hunters are supplied with torches,
while the keddah is carefully kept in
darkness. Alarmed by the noise and
flames the elephants rush toward the
only open space and are thus driven
into the keddah.
wild elephants feed on grasses,
shrubbery and leaves. In captivity
they are fed on hay. rolled and
crushed oats. At first they get part
grass and part hay, and gradually be
come used to feeding upon hay alto
gether. On the long voyages to Europe
and America the freight is not
charged according to weight, but by
measurement, according to the space
elephants occupy.
elephants were known in early
Roman times. Darius used them in
warfare against Alexander the great.
The Romans used them in the arena
and taught them tricks, to dance to
music, to walk the tight rope and eat
in great style from gorgeously decked
tables out of gold and silver dishes.
While the elephant is most ferocious
and fearless when enraged against
enemies, whether man or beast, it's
greatest enemy is the fly, and it will
tremble at the sight of mouse"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
WINTER TIME IN SOUTH TEXAS.
Some Unusual Frosts in a Country
Usually Regarded as Semi-TropicaI.

From Texas Letter in Country Gen
tleman-Far south as Starr county is,
we have our days Of gray gloom with
a keen ''norther" wailing through the
leafiess trees, and bowling around the
houses, and a fine, thin, sleety rain
failing, falling, falling; with a damp
bitter cold that numbs our thin
blooded bodies, and effectively quench-
es enthusiasm While snow and
ice are phenomena but rarely seen
here, and our thermometer seldom
reaches the freezing point, and our
cold, when compared with that of the
north, is but slight. we feel it most
keenly. At times, though, intense
cold snaps do occur and l can remem-
Der one that took place in the winter
Of 1S94-95. Then, indeed. we had the
heaviest snowfall, and the keenest
cold, that I ever wish to see here. |
was, at the time. teaching school at a
little ranch called Los Federales (The
Federals), way up in the prairie sec
ton. Early in the morning a north
ern" sprang up, and, little by little, its
wrath arose until it was raging shrilly,
in bitter gusts, around the house
where | lived and taught. The build
ing was a huge frame structure for
merIy used as a barn and general
storehouse. 1t had many a crack and
crevice in it's ramshackle sides and
roof, and it was by no means that day
a pleasant abode.
In the week previous to the storm
enormous focks of birds had been
thronging in on US, driven from the
north by the approaching change i'll
the weather. The sudden cold snap,
the quickness of a tornado, had caught
these wanderers unprepared, and an
immense number were killed-frozen
to death. Those that suffered most
were, in the order I name them, field
Ial'ks, thrushes, doves, orioles cardi-
| HUddled together in rings in the hoI-
! lows underneath the little bushes,
| would find 20, or more, birds Most OF
{ them, especially those on outer edges
of the ring, would be dead, and only
two or three at the most in the very
center Of the circle would be just
alive. Beneath the brush fences of
my landIady's little yard and "cor.
rales" (pens) were lying whole droves
! Of birds principally Mexican doves
making the snow in places of a gray
brown color. I picked up and counted
/ 1853, and then got tired In all the
! surrounding woods I saw any number
of bodies. And all this in a place OF
| but so1ne 10 acres at the utmost in ex
tent! Hundreds of thousands must
have peIished in the bitter storm
The crows and red winged blackbirds
did not seem to mind the weather al
| all, and we're flying around screaming
and scolding as usual. I know that ]
picked up none, nor saw any of them
dead. The hooking birds, too, stood
the weather well. I only found -four
bodies all told, and two of these were
just alive, and revived under my care
This cold snap and the snow extend
ed from Mexico as far as Tampico
Such thing had not happened fol-
nearly two generations-not since
1885, in fact. In and around Vera
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
THE Willy HUNTsMAN.

Oh, now the crafty hunter
Takes powder, gun and dog,
And shoots his ammunition
Into the peaceful hog.
He smbIes through the forest,
And snags on branch and bough,
And blazes at partridge,
But kills q humble COW.
He turks behind the rushes
To get the festive duck;
He fingers there till evening,
And mutters at his luck,
His garments are the fashion
For swell NimrOds to wear
He plugs the guide, mistaKing
The fellow for bear.
Oh, now the crafty hunter,
AS comes the frosty eve.
Walks homeward in the cleaning,
With cunning up his sleeve.
He sinks through darkest alleys
Like one imbued with shame,
And seeks the jolly dealer
Whose signboard speaks of game
Josh Wink in Baltimore American
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
BREVITIES.

That's right-discourage the dis
couragements!
1ne farm telephone enables wife
to keep track Of her husband, accord
ing to a correspondent.
Recent market reports from Daw-
son, Alaska, quote bacon at As cents
a pound, and butter $1.50 for a two
pound tin.
Very often the ''weighty opinions"
pressed upon the patient public are,
as far as real value goes, about seven
pounds lighter than a straw hat.
During the 10 months ending
October this country exported STA
259 bushels Of corn against 98,3G3,625
for the corresponding months last
year.
We hear from several readers who
intend visiting Porto Rico this winter.
The island seems destined to become
favorite winter resort for those
who fear Jack Frost.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
AS He Called Il

$50, you don't mind my piano-pIay-
ing, Mr.. Skorcher," remarked Miss
Nexdore.
Not at ALL" replied Skorcher. 81
like it best when you're coasting."
''When Pm coasting?"
Eyes, when you keep your feet off
the pedals
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
War and WedIock.

Official returns relating to marriages
in Cape Colony during 1901 indicate
that the war did not seriously inter
fere with the course of true love in
that portion of the British empire.
In fact, it was a record year in
matrimonial ventures. The total num-
Der of weddings solemnized was 9,547
nearly a thousand increase on the
figures for 1900, and over 1000 more
on those of a decade ago.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
Native GeneroSity.

"Are you catching any fish, little
boy, may l awsk?"
mot a. blame fish"
'Are you-aw-getting any bites 2"
"Nary bite
Have you been fishing here long,"
"AIl day"
do you expect to catch anything?"
Nope"
Then why, little boy, do you con-
tinue to fish,"
SOS you kin hey somethin' to put
in yer book on Ameriky, mister"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
In Prison..

Il suppose said the long-faced Wis
itor, that thirst for whisky Brought
you here
Not much" replied the convict
This is the last place I'd come to
lookin' for whisky"
All there was a woman in the
case, perhaps
We'll. the Black Maria brought
me here, sure enough"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
WHEN MORPHEUS LURES.

One little boon of sleep | crave,
All other things forsaking.
The time for slumber | would save
Is when I should be waking.
Let others have the gloomy night,
If that is what they're prizing;
But let me sleep-a favor slight
Just when | should be rising.
Though reused at night from slumbel
deep,
I'll deem it not distressing,
If only I'm allowed to sleep
Just when | should be dressing.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08

At Cincinnati Judge Smith of the
superio" court comedies to strikers the
right 20 picket factory when they
are seeking to accomplish a lawful
purpose and do not in any manner in
timidate or coerce non-strikers
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08

will allow The game is exciting from
the tossing up o. the ball to the end
Of the match, and every one of the
players on each side is actively en-
gagged in the sport
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
She's so TaIkative.

HE tells me he goes with an auto
matte attachment"
How does he mean?"
why, when his girl is once wound
up it takes he a good while to run
down" Philadelphia Bulletin.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08
Ye-eS.

well, good-by. I'll see you at
church on Sunday
Yes if my new gown is ready in
time '-Louisvill Times.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08

CUES old.
mil cold
ike nd
|
q he
D
o
An winter time amt what it some thirty
j c..
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-01-08

Voltairine De Cleyre had been call
ed the woman poet of anarchy" and
the following lines from her pen are
characteristic of hef literary efforts:
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1903-04-24

INTERESTING NEWS :
FROM OVER THE STATE :
" Items Cleaned from the Exchange :
list.
by Cars

Yesterday afternoon E. Fits. ma
chinist from San FrancisCD. narrowly
escaped death while walking on the
Southern Pacific tracks near ne va
ter tank. He had been Town to the
Nevada Engineering Works to visit
his brother, who is employed there
While returning he was struck by :,
draft of freight cars that We're bein &
switched. The forward car struck him
and knocked him down. He was roll
ed over and over and struck by the
truck boxes of two other cars. Sc
we're bruises We're sustained and so
narrow was his escape from being run
over that the toe of one of his shoes
was cut off by wheel.
Officer Wartman brought a carriage
and he was conveyed to his brother S
home and later in the day was taken
to San Francisco.-JOurnal
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1903-04-24

FOR Sale--A seven room house in
good condition, well located and in a
desirable neighborhcoa. Tor full par.
uculars, enquire of l.. W Quill at tho
Walsh grocery store.
from this time o.. taraicc can b
purchased at Mrs. Nuss' residence
Comfy
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1903-04-24
Education at Home.

There is no necessity for sending
your boy away from home for an edu-
cation. The International Correspon-
dence Schools of Scranton, Pennsyl-
yania viii teach him any of their two
hundred courses of instruction at a
cost Of from $40 to 500 cash. or first
installment, $40 down and So per
month. This is the price for the COM
plete course and includes text books
reference library instructions, papers
and apparatus used.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1903-04-24
Re Journal Exr'aine.

In the journal Of Sunday morning ar
Interpolation occurred in ne write up
of the non-partisian meeting that must
be explained. In the midst Of the ar
ticle appeared the sentence. What in
Hell is this The query was not in
the copy but was inserted by a con-
positCr as a question to the proof rea
der as to piece OF copy that was not
understood. The proof reader, in the
rush OF .ie makeup OF the last side
passed the line and thus it appeared
in the paper.
Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1903-04-24

There are many false rumOrs going
the rounds in regard to the Salt Lake
cutoff The truth Of the matter is
that the ut-off will be completed with
in the next ninety days but there will
be no regular traffic until the fill is
completed. which will take about six
months yet.
The worst Of the work IS completed
and it viii not be long before the
trains viii be making a fifty mile
cut off between here and Ogden
Journal