Evening star., 1903-07-25
TROUBLESWITHAPIANO

| Say, did you ever have anybody come
and hand you piano?" WAS the somewhat
startling query which a bothered-lookins
treasury clerk was propounding to his
| office mates the other morning.
! None OF them had. of course. and they
examined him somewhat closely to see II
| the heat hadn't affected him.
"Oh, I'm not dippy yet. but l will be IL
| this thing keeps up much longer. he
| remarked, observing their scrutinizing
| glances.
| "Unreel the sad. sad story. and it'll be off
| your mind" they urged him. and then the
| bothered-lookin treasury clerk proceeded.
Early last winter 4 woman, whom l had
never seen heard Of before. called upon
| me here at the office one morning. She in
| troduced herself by saying that she was a
friend of the elderly widow who lived next
| door to mel was living in little shack
! marrow up in the northwest section then.
- am about to leave the city for a
| while my visitor said to me. and of course
| 1 am compelled to break up housekeeping.
l am distributing my furniture around
among friends to have the use of for it's
| care while 1 am to be gone. All of them
have pianos, however, and so don't know
| what to do with my piano. My friend. the
| lady who lives next door to you, has just
! told mel left her only few moments
| ago-that perhaps you might care to take
| the piano for the use of 1t while 1 am away.
Your wife plays, l suppose?'
| 'Oh-er-yes, she plays said I. hesi-
tatingly. l was thinking of the cluttered-
| up condition Of our little parlor already.
The parlor was one of these little two-by-
twice affairs and it was already virtually
lmpaSsable on account OF the bunch Of fur
niture that was stacked up in it. 'Er-
what sort Of piano is itT
| oh, It's very nice piano. my visitor
replied. lodging my question. 1 wanted to
Know. OF course. whether 1t was a square
| or an upright contraption. but after she
had side-stepped that way l didn't feel
like pressing the point. ana when she said
| that 1t was a nice piano I took 1t for
granted that 1t was upright. anyway
Well l hadn't been married long then.
and l hadn't quite reached the stage where
!! eould stake my wife to piano. and so
| the proposition of taking this strange wo-
mans piano on storage didn't seem so bad
to me. l told her, however, that l would
! consult with my wife about the matter
| decision in the morning. The woman went
away. after thanking me rather more ef-
| fusively than l thought necessary, consid-
ering now guardedly l had received her
| suggestion as to caring for that piano
Nv hen l got home that evening | found
that the matter had been taken out of my
hands. The plano was already in my par
| lor 1T was in progress of being moved into
! my parlor at the identical time that nv
visitor was asking me If l would consent
| to receive it. She had taken it for granted
that she would be able to con me into TAX
| ing the thing and had issued instructions
| to have it removed to my address before
| coming to my office to ask me about It,
., "ds square piano. l won't say
tnat IL was sixteen feet and eight inches
long from end to end but l do solemnly
declare that it took up at least three-auar-
terS OF the space of my dinky parlOr even
after my wife had removed most Of the
1 frn fha
| IN the attic to make room for the Internal
OLD TN pan. \ tin pan 1t was too and a
| TIN pan right. 1t was one of those old hew-
| gags that they began to manufacture right
aIter the harpSichOrd went out of date and
| II that piano hadn't been pounded long be-
| fore Washington made his farewell address
| TO his army then I've got my dope sheets
| mixed My wife had already tried it, and
she round that 1t hadn't been tuned since
about the time when Andrew Jackson was
President. The keys stuck in a bunch when
| they were pressed, and number of the
strings were broken. The ivory absent
from about a dozen of the keys. and in gen.
| eral 1t was about the worst frost of a mu-
| sical instrument that I'd ever seen outside
| of the back room of a Key West bar room
Only thing to be done l said to nv
| wife, dismisally and disconsolately is to
| keep the burned old thing covered up with
| tarpaulin or something, and tell folks
! that it's an heirloom-that it's been in your
| family for six generations-and that that's
| the reason you hate to get rid of it
Somehow or another. however. that sug-
| gestion didn't seem to make much of hit
| with my wife. The elderly widow next door
| came in that evening and congratulated US
vocferousIy on having the use of piano
| for nothing-said she'd gladly have taken
charge of the instrument for her friend, the
woman who was going or had already gone
| away. only that she already had new up
| right piano think. at that. that the widow
| next door rather ndulged in gloat over
| the fact that the rattley old contrap ption had
| been unloaded upon us rather than upon
| her.
We'll about two months after that I got
| to scrapping with my landlord because he
| wouldn't or couldn't do anything to stop
| the escaping coal gas in my house. and L
| gave him notice that | was going to move.
On the day before We moved l went next
! door to the elderly widow about the
piano-told her she'd have to hunt up her
| friend and have something done about the
| piano. as certainly did not intend to move
| the buggy old outfit into the brand new fiat
| that I'd rented The widow told me that
| she hadn't idea In life where the woman
who had unloaded the piano on me was.
"'All right said I, getting little warm
| around the neck band. III just move and
leave the piano behind
"'Oh VARY VARY well said the widow
| next door. getting a little grouchy herself.
I'VE moved next day, and did leave
| the bum piano behind. Three days later I
got letter from the landlord with whom I'd
scrapped demanding to know what l meant
| house. | ignored the letter. He sent me
| letters about it every day for week after
| that I ignored 'em all. Then he began to
| telephone me at my office. He bulled and
| browbeat and hectored and annoyed me,
! and at length told him to go to the dick
ems, and hung up the receiver. just he
was Informing me that if the piano wasn't
removed by before 10 o'clock the next
morning he'd have it set in the street.
1T wasn't set in the street. A woman
across the street heard of the business and
| she offered to take the deserted piano for
| few months until its owner should be lOcat
| ed She notified me of this by telephone.
| and spoke as If shed be doing me an enor-
nous favor.
well. this woman was up at my fiat last
| evening with her husband. She wanted to
know what l going to do about that
! piano. She said that she going 10
move, and that the house they were living
| In was going t. be torn down. She certain
| ly didn't intend to take the piano along
with her-dear me. SUI, no! And what
| l going to do about it? Her husband sup
| plemented the question in his deep basso
with the statement that / was morally and
| legally responsible for the plano. an i'm
putation which I hastened to deny. and