Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-04-03
gSIzz1E2|!H,
: AA\z9|b SIS

Yes; and thank heaven, they've got
my poem right next to advertising
matter. Atlanta Constitution.
Dis is certainly fine, bracin' wealth.
err remarked Weary Raggles to Tired
Tatters. YES" replied Tatters; 81
braced six men fer dime dis mornin'
an on'y got one refusal. l."-Cincinnat
Commercial Tribune.
A man with an unusually large
mouth has the habit of opening it on
some occasions very wide. His dentist
the other day administered a mild re-
buke: mot so wide, please; l prefer
to stand outside and work."
Summed Up: The Widow-I want a
man to do odd jobs about the house,
run on errands, one that never answers
back, and is always ready to do my
bidding. Applicant-You're looking for
husband, ma'am.-New York Life
Natural Question:: Have you any
two-cent stamps?" inquired the victim,
after paying his bill at the Bong Tong
Hotel. II think so," replied the clerk;
how many do you want?" How
much are they apieceY eY-Philadelph
| Press.
Barnes-Charley appeared to be will
ing to acknowledge that he was in the
wrong. He said he was quite aware
of his shortcomings. Shodd-Isn't that
just like Charley? Always Dragging
about what he knows.-Boston Tran
script.
"These Americanos," cries the af-
| frighted Tagal, "are cannibals."
Whatever gave you such an idea ?"
asks the Moro. II just heard one of
those soldiers ask that pretty school
teacher to come and eat Filipino with
him" m."-What-to-Eat.
She-He didn't succeed in convinc.
ing her, after all his argument. He
No; he merely made her mad. But
his explanation was clear" Yes; and
that's where he made his mistake. He
told her it was as plain as the nose
on her face "-Tit-Bits.
"Are they fond of their New York
home" "Oh, awfully fond. They
spend their winters in Florida, their
springs in Lakewood, their summers
at Newport, and their autumns at
Lenox, but they are simply devoted to
their New York homew-Exchange.
Convinced: "Do you read Dickens"
NO" said Mrs. CumroX, rather loft
lily. Perhaps you are one of those
who do not regard him as representing
the best literature" II am. | have
seen his books offered for sale as cheap
as 20 cents copy."-Washingto
! Star.
Very Unromantic: "They had one
of the strangest marriages recorded
for long time" ''In what respect"
I'm every respect. Why, both parents
on both sides were present, there was
nothing sudden or secret about it, and
their own clergyman performed the
ceremony."-Judge.
The Lesser Evil: "Charley, dear"
said young Mrs. Torkins, II hope you
will never conceal it from me when
you bet On horse race" won't you
be angry if 1 lose?" mot as angry
as would be if you were to win and
not let me know about it."-Wash-
ington Evening Star.
Mrs. Bizzy-I am so sorry to hear
that your wife has been throwing the
crockery at you again, Casey. Where
did she hit you? Casey-Faith, ma am |!
That's what Oi do be afther complain
in av. Twas a whole set av dishes
broke to pieces, an she nivir hit me
wanst.-Brooklyn Life.
you have just as much right and,
theoretically, just as good chance
as anybody else to be President says
the patriotic citizen to his neighbor.
II cannot agree with you," sighs the
neighbor; 1--WE have no children, and
that fact alone would lose me the pho
tographers vote"-Judge.
Miss Mainchantz--I suppose you've
heard Of my engagement to Mr.. jerks.
Miss Ascott-Yes, and l confess was
surprised. You told me once that you
wouldn't marry him for million dol.
lars. Miss Manchantz-I know. dear,
but 1 discovered later that he had two
illions.-Philadelph Press.
- Wished to be Prepared: "I'm hungry,
sir" said the beggar; won't you give
me enough to get a meal| Here, my
good man." said Mr.. Pompus, "here's
penny for you" "Oh, thank you,
sir. BY the way, have you got pep
sin tablet about you? l always get
dyspepsia when l overeat myself
Tit-Bits.