Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-07-04
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Gladys-So, Beatrice is finally mar
| ried? How did sh. come to take the
| plULgeT Ethel-Shc didn't She was
showed off by six younger sisters
! Puck.
\ happy faculty: Young Tutter Ito
hostessl-I have had very pleasant
| evening. But then ! always manage
10 enjoy myself no matter where | am.
Life.
Estate Agent Ito laborer's SOM
Here, my boy, where can l find Your
father? Boy--ln the pig stye, sir.
Youll know i'm by is brown att
Punch.
Al the price Mrs. Bumble-By the
way, John, there are strawberries In
the market MIR. Rumble-Arc there?
That's the best place for thcm.--Bos-
ton Transcript.
! Sure, Murphy was wrong, an he
knowed he was wrong an he owned
| up loikc a little man" Did he, nowY''
| ''Yis: hut he licked the other man
| st."-puCk.
His hahitual reticeuce: Reporter Gin
vcstibulel-ls it true that Mr. Gotrox
has Just died? Butler Cautiously.
| II is; but he has nothing TO say for
| publication.--Puck.
lie didn't count: $50 your house IL
| being built ut last? 2" Yes. II thought
! the plans didn't suit you" "Oh, they
don't, but they suit my wife aud the
! architect now. baltimore News
Look at the way baby's working his
mouth" exclaimed Mrs Newman:
now, he proposes TO put his foot in
| IT," HIM" replied her husband,
grumpily; hereditary. philadelphia
Press.
! Ready for any emergency: He-If
should kiss you, what would You do?
| She-~I never meet an emergency until
Il arises. He-But if it should arise?
She'd meet Il face to face
Record
Retrograding; Farmer Ragwccd--
Has Rill learned anything tew collcge2
! Mrs. Ragwccd-No; an wuss'n that,
he's forgot what he ulster know! Says
|
cagO News.
An easy one: Jonathan say, Brit
Usher, can You spell horse? English
man--Orsc? Why certainly. 1t honly
takes n hatch and n ho and har and
Il hess and he to spell 'orse.--Kansas
City Journal
What is it now. sergeant?" Sure,
It's the new recruit. sor. Oh tould him
to mark time in tn drill room TIL OF
COON back, and he's scratched up tn
face Of the clock wild a pencil, r"--
Princeton Tiger.
Nice old man: Good heavens, hoyi
Are you smoking? Muggs-Me smOk-
in? Say de very suspicion cuts me
+ dc quick. Why I'm Just kecpin' dis
butt lighted in case de guy who drop
pod it comes back,-New York Sun.
Tho real thing; Won Quizz-What
does your friend writc2 verse; Nov,
clsI Tragedies? H. Kashc-G Great
Scott what DO you take him for? An
! amateur No, sir. He writes advertise
mcuts. of cowae!-New Orleans Times.
| Democrat
Realisation: Il fccl happy today"
/ said the club woman; 81 haven't a
thing IN the world TO do. Not club
70 attend. I'm going in for some
relaxation. I'm going to clean house
and have good timer'-Plusbmg
, Dispatch.
BETTER thus: Don't you think"
! asked the anxious young playwright
after the first performance that
might have improved II some by put
/ ting il In three instead Of four actS?'
''WeiI, no. the critic replied; II hardly
/ think 30, The curtain wouldn't be
down MS much in that case as it Is
row. "-Chitago Record Herald
IT, seftcping influence Mrs. Ma.
ho lie Shure, thot Uncle TOMS
Cabin" made n good boy out av me
Micky, Mrs. O'Toole Dim glad TO
hear thot. Mrs MahOole--Yls, Mt
gave him tiEdcr heart phoy wud
yes behave ut. whin he cum out ay
IN gallery he trold TO nurthcr six kids
that laftcd win Little Eva doied.--
Chicago News
Jason Mason-1herc goes that city
preacher who's thinkin w gcccptin' a
call here His church In the city wa.
boycotted Hiram IIuskl What?
Great gosh! y church boycottcd2 What
fert Jason Mason--Yew see, the street
railway strikers darn near killed n nom
union felIcr an that thoughtlcss
preacher went an comforted the poor
chap duriu' his last hours!-Puck.
hlgy wns not particular: There was
company at tea, aud little Algcrnon
fcIt that 1t was an occasion upon
wA.ci shc might assert himself MA"
hc remarked holding up his bread and
butte ia st8rn, cant ! have some
jana on tlisf' WHAT" CALCULATED His
economical mammal lam on butter!
&c, indeed: certainly not "Oh
DON'T care about i; being ON the bat
H. I'LL