Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1903-05-29
FIRE AT JUGGERS.
BIZ TOM P. MORGAN.

Every night, just before retiring, old Jug
ger leaned the ladder up against the house
and placed a gallon pail OF salt ON a chair
in his bedroom. These preparations were
for the purpose of enabling Jueger to get the
bulge upon the fire tiend at his next visit.
Every now and then, for months, the
chimney had a habit of burning out, and as
the roof often caught fire these events were
the occasion Of much excitement.
Jugger had grown tired of reducing him
self to the verge of emotional insanity in
searching for salt to pour down the chimney,
trying to quiet mis- wife, VINO insisted upon
indulging IN mysteries, and in seeking the
lacder tnat seemed to have concealed itself
just Wien it was most needed.
Usually, by the time he lad charged all
over the house and lot, colliding with all the
furniture in the former and all the trees,
shrubs, posts and clotheslines in the latter,
the fire mad burned out OF been extinguished
by the neig! bors, and his wife had cried her
self into the first cousin of a tit. Then the
ladder would be found, serene and untrou-
bled, in the place where it always reposed,
and the salt would grin at him from the bar.
rel in the pantry.
But now Jugger could retire to his couch,
happy in the thoughttthat, with the salt at
hand and the ladder leaning against the
caves, he was ready for any emergency.
For nearly a week peace brooded over the
Jugrer household. Then the chimney went
on the rampage again.
1t was near midnight when Mrs. Juggez
awoke her spouse by her energetic jab ip
the libs and the thrilling announcement that
she smelt smoke.
The FIRE could be heard roaring in the chin.
ovl l,,~~1r ~,o. -.lAl $500 ,
tlon would speedily ensue if he did not
hasten to the scene of the danger accom-
panied by the salt, SO he sprung out Of bed,
took one quick step and fell forward on his
face, almost executing a dado on the floor
with his pose.
| TIL Of late, Jugger had never worn a robe
de-nuit, but had passed down the years, SO
to speak, night-shirtless and neglected. Mrs.
Jugger remedied this awful state Of affairs
by presenting her husband, upon his last
birthday, not long ago, with a brand new
night-shirt, five feet and three inches long,
Jugger's head ought to stick out Of the top
of the garment.
Upon rising in the abrupt fashion before
mentioned, Jugger, forgetting the superAu-
Gus length Of the robe, stepped on the front
VI dlo All uo"A VII Ills lace, as SlulSuy
with a force that nearly drove his nasal
protruberance back out Of sight in his coun-
tenancs.
out to where it belonged. he grabbed the
pail of salt and started toward the door
This time, when the long robe tripped jug
ger it sent him headlong against the wall
with a force that almost Shortened up hi!
rook NEhap ha Sral1v ...,tnA from, Nh
house it was by holding up the extraneou|
length of the garment.
Out OF doors and around the house h,
rushed, cracking his shirs with the sharl
corners of the salt pail at every other jump
AS he came in sight of the flames, streaming
like a hume of fire out Of the chimney ta,
his excitement caused him TO drop the rob
for an instant. He recognized his mistak
when he found himself crawling out of tn
embraces of Mrs. Jugger's rare and exceed
ingly thorny Mexican cacti, which wer
highly successful as ornaments, but mad
a very poor couch.
JUgger really ought to have possessed
third hand l. assist him while he held ont
the ladder and his life and the salt and hi
night-shitt. He was not like the dilator
gentleman o! chestnut lore, who, in additio
to his right and left hands, was provide
With a little behind hand. He would hav
surmounted the steep roof with much NOR
ease and less loss of cuticle if each of hi
lands and all Of the feet he possessed, an
The half-dozen more that he needed, ha
been armed with long, sharp claws, capabl
OF being socked deep into the shingles.
After Mr.. Jugger had succeeded in clint
ing up the steep roof at about the same rat
Of anepd as tnaf of thc ar;t b,oa n i.o1 f-o
that, in climbing out of the well, ascende
two feet every day and fell back three fee
every night, the neighbors were astounde
at the vision that appeared on the ridge
pole. They saw, by the light of the chin
ney's torch, a figure that looked like a larg
cat in a long gown crawling along the ape
of the roof
Just as Jugger raised the pail in orde
to pour the salt down the chimney, his to<
holds slipped at one side. Instead Of goin
down the chimney the salt was poured dow
the roof, a white and gritty cascade. A me
ment later Jugger followt- it. There VIZ
a frantic clutching and clawing, and a will
yell that nearly put out the fire, and tn
human toboggan went sliding down owe
the salty and splintery surface Of the shin
giles.
The frantic manner in which a drownin
man is supposed to clutch at stra We woul,
not nave been a circumstance to the en-
thusiastic and unreserved manner in whicI
Jugger endeavored to plant his ella We upol
or into something that would stay his prog
ress.
His efforts were useless! Down he wen
At a rate that made the salt sandpaper Of
the splinters that would otherwise have pre-
truded from his person and given hin
the appearance of a human pincushion. Hal
it not been for the presence and kind of
fees of the salt, JuggG's condition woule
have been a much more deplorable one, for
while a man with splinters sticking out al
over him like pin-feathers may be very use
full as a human scratcher, he certainly can
not be considered as ornamental. AnAGon
is stuck full Of spliuters must pull down hi
sign, and no man likes to think that hi
chances of winning in a beauty competition
have gone where prohibition prohibits, ane
henceforth he can aspire to nothing better
than being an animated toothpick-holder.
Just as Jugger went over the edge Of TIE
roof the tail of his robe caught on a sturdy
gutter-clamp. For a moment he hung likt
a large, white bat. There was the sounc
like that which ensues when the friendship
of years is rent in twain from top to bot