The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08
HOW FAR SHOULD A GIRL EN-
COURAGE A MAN SHE LIKES?

The amount of encouragement which
may be given by girl to the man she
likes is an interesting and important
question. Many women intuitively feel
the correct way to proceed, while 9TH
ers have to acquire the knack, says the
New Orleans Picayune.
The subject is one, says the New Or
leans Picayune, which appeals special
ly to young girls, who are entering
upon what is possibly their first seri-
Gus love affair. "A girl has, perhaps,
been the recipient of decided attention.
and her feelings are in a way to become
seriously engaged. All her life she has
heard and accepted the axiom that a
girl loses her modesty and womanliness
If she in any way runs after a man.
but her youth and zeal feel impatience
at the slow march of events. To her
the delight of being sought soon ceases
to be pleasure If II brings with 1t an
uncertainty as to what is to come Of it
all. She has an impetuous desire for
some assurance of affection, some earn
est of a tie between this man and her.
self, and she is often sorely tempted to
break the bonds imposed by conven-
tionality. and try to obtain some indi-
cation of the mans feelings for her.
1t is a very natural state of mind,
for the young live in the present rather
than in the future, and a small amount
of bliss to-day will weigh (for the mo-
menD heavily against prospects for to-
morrow or next year In this, however,
the sexes differ considerably The man
is probably some years older, and It de-
wolves upon him to think of the future
rather than the present. Consideration
of ways and means is a very practical,
but very necessary, feature of happy
love-making, and this often delays a
definite proposal or revelation of senti-
ment.
Then, again, a man likes to take time
to make up his mind. He may wish to
enjoy loves dream a little longer, and
he strongly resents being brought up to
the scratch. The nice girl must there
fore, exercise care in the amount Of
encouragement she gives a man in the
early stages of love-making Man is
by nature the hunter, and his eagerness
for the chase is stimulated by a little
uncertainty and coyness.
A girl may feel, after a man has tndi-
Gated preference for her society and
paid her some attention, that 1t is hard
that he does not come to the point, or
speak any word of love. He seems to
her to be really in love with her; he
even occasionally comes to the verge
of a declaration, but hangs back I'M
accountably-from diffidence she sup
poses. In such circumstances ii is
great temptation to help him out, or to
break down the barrier which prevents
their souls from fully uniting
Even in such a case a girl should
ponder very seriously before she makes
any advances, and must proceed with
the greatest tact even If she is right
in her surmise that the young man Is
merely shy and would be grateful for
her help. A man resents any evident
attempt to make him speak, and for a
girl to try to corner him is only to low
er herself in his eyes. He will not for
give an error against good taste, nor
will he be encouraged by any comprom-
Using attitude. Men have, too an in
eradicable aversion to being made to
feel that they are even inferentially
looked upon or paraded as a girls prop
erty.
A girl should always maintain such a
position that If the man withdraws she
is in no way compromised. In encour-
aging him without loss of dignity. she
requires either a way of retreat for
herself, or to make ii impossible for
him to retreat without loss of honor.
OF course, with a good, honest, we'll
principled man. girl is always safe to
show a sympathy that she genuinely
feels. Indeed, with men of this class
there would be little actual danger in
a girl frankly revealing her real prefer
ence for one who had sought her socie-
ty. Unfortunately, all men are not Of
the well-principled variety, and worse
than humiliation might be in store for
a girl who innocentiy enough showed q
tenderness.