St. Tammany farmer., 1903-04-11
EE NEVER GOT A CHANCE.
1t Was an Ideal Day for = Great Ef-
fort, But the Editor Was
Switched on.


freshly cut batch of copy paper
was laid on the desk and. an eager
compositor searched the 'copy'
drawer for mite Of reprint, "now
shall seat myself in thought pro
found and compose something
great"
A heavy rain was falling and the
pedestrians who splashed by thu
window were soaked, soggy and dis
gruntled. A dog fight on the oppo
site side of the street failed to draw
a single spectator, writes J. NJ. Al
len, in the Cynthiana (Ky.) Democrat
IAN ideal quiet day for work. No
body will thrust subscription money
into my Spencerian fist, and unchal
lenged chirography shall embellisl
the manuscript of masterpiece"
The telephone tinkled musically.
''He1lo!" said.
"Hello!" came the answer in sweet
tones of the feminine gender.
'Hello!" l said once more.
"Hello!" she said. "Have yor
spareribs?"
MADAM or MISS" said I, II have nc
spare ribs. I need every one in my
body"
The out-tap was given mutually
and picked up the pencil and rear.
ranged the Spencerian fist.
A friend from neighboring town
dropped in and splashed down into a
chair, squirting a spray of rain drops
over the freshly cut copy paper.
81 thought I would just drop in
and tell you that my paper has not
reached me until Monday for several
weeks" he remarked. ''I told the
postmaster at home about it, but he
said it was your fault"
"It could not be-" I expostulated.
"All papers for your town travel IN
the same bundle. and if one reaches
the town all should reach. Do 9th
ers receive their papers on time:''
YES" he replied, ''but the post
master said you must have spite
at me-"
'Now. look here, my friend,
quoth ]; "why should / have spite
at you? What have you done that
1 should single you out and cab.
bage' your paper at the risk of los
ing one dollar year. which in 1000
years would amount to s1,0oo?''
THAT is big pile of money to
throw away, amt it?'' he remarked,
scratching his head.
The telephone tinkled.
"Hello!" I said.
'Hello!" she said.
''Hello!" I said.
''Hello!" she said; "have you spare
ribs?''
Madam or miss" replied, inn
pressively. II have no spare ribs to
spare. Perhaps I might tear some
off the boys. This is a print shop
and we butcher nothing but English -
The double out-tap sounded.
Il can't see, though" remarked my
friend, ''how it's that my neighbors
all get their paper on Saturday and
mine don't come till Monday"
81 cannot see. either. The names
are stamped on the margins auto
matically. and it is almost impossi-
BILE to miss one.'
"Wen, / don't get mine till Mon
day. and I don't see why you cant
send it with the others. You ought
to give me the Courier-Journal Tree
for missing so often"
my friend, shall make a special
effort to get your paper on time this
week. I shall write to the postmas-
ter and the carrier; if that does no
good l shall write to the president.
the postmaster general, our two SEN
ators and our II representatives. Ii
that fails shall take the cars each
Saturday morning and carry you the
paper myself"
He Strengthened up to go, and
shook off the remaining raindrops to
the freshly cut "copy'' paper.
well, see that you do" he said,
cor I'll stop the paper: take more
papers now than I can read"
The telephone tinkled.
'Hello!" / said.
"Hello!" she said.
"Hellos" / said.
'Hello." she said; ''have you spare.
ribs?''
Madam or miss" replied. desper-
ately, 'I still have no spare ribs, but
hog has just left the Office. and II
you meet him on the street kindly
oblige me by cutting out his entire
battery
The out-taps fell, and we salteei
down the copy" paper--it was toe
fresh to keen till morning.