Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1903-07-03
DRIFTWOOD.

DRIFTWooD.
Pieces Of Individual Opinion Washed Up by
the Tide, Doomed. Sawed. Split and
Piled BY Lue Vernon.
They say when a man is drunk lie is
tight. l think he is loose.
Some women have no color in their
face so they buy hats with many colors
to replace this defect.
Teacher Ito pupiD-" What is the
largest and brightest starr"
Pupil" The policeman's."
There is the grocery dealer, and the
faro dealer, yet there are instances
where the faro dealer was the most
honest Of the two.
A horse feels his OATS" as the say.
ing goes, when he is lively and in good
spirits, but when . man feels corus he
is anything but lively.
The newsboy is the strongest person
known of, because he packs the news
of the world. And therefore Sandow
should go hide himself.
Don't throw old shoes after bride.
Make a neat package and send them
to her three years after her marriage.
They may prove acceptable.
There is one good thing about class.
ical music. You can start or stop
anywhere you like, and as a rule, no.
body ever knows that there is any.
thing wrong.
"There is music in the rain," said
farmer in Olympia, the other day.
" How soi" We asked. al promised to
buy Mary piano this fall. and crops
are doing splendid"
Her shirt waist was pulled,
Apparently stuffed,
Full of ideal reality.
Jacks fervid embrace,
1t flattened the space
D, what horrid fatality!
II the public only knew how many
OF the men who are always ready to
talk against trusts send to department
houses, in large cities, for dry goods,
and even groceries, there would be Q
long list OF their acquaintance with
"hypocrite" mentally written opposite
their names.
A funeral was stopped in An East.
ern city because q scab driver was hold.
ing the position of driver on the hesrse.
The hack drivers were union men.
The press report does not say il the
horses pulling the heaIse were fed oats
or hay raised on a ranch owned by .
Union farmer or not.
At the National Convention of the
Federation of Musicians, at Indian
apolis, Ind, May %, the color line was
abolished and unions of colored musi.
clans will not be designated as " col.
ored" any longer. How in the future
can We look forward to the checker.
board band-black and white, as it
were.
A couple were married q number of
years ago. The bride invited an old
aunt to the wedding. The cards we're
in the highest style of printers art,
and in the corner bore the inscription,
children not expected" After scan.
ming the card closely over her glasses
the old lady said, "That's all right,
but they'll have 'em just the same"
Under the bright glow of . beauti.
ful electric chandelier is where men
show their real disposition. And it
might shock the mOdesty Of some God.
fearing people could they but witness
the actions and doings OF the hypo.
critics who in daytime pose as all that
is holy and virtuous, and under the
protecting care of night, act and do
things, that would make statue of q
stone dog blush with shame.
We are always sorry for q girl who
is sweet on . fellow who will spend q
dollar for ice cream and chocolates
and three dollars for buggy ride for
her on an eight dollar per week salary.
Somehow we see visions of barefoot
children, frowsy-headed woman over
the wash tub. tin cans for dishes on
the table, and combination OF corn.
cob pipes and man in the kitchen cor
ner. Tho young man who lives within
his means while single. generally has
means after he is married.
The Lords Day Alliance apostles in
Victoria, B. G., have taken exception
to the Tourist Association tally-ho
footing its horn on the Sabbath.
While they have their hand in, it
might be we'll for them to take excep-
ton to roosters Growing and church
bells ringing on that holy day, as it is
very offensive to some people, even if
they do not complain. 1t would not
be surprising to hear of these worthy
souls petitioning the City Council to
have the town clock stopped Saturday
night so that it should not work or
strike on the Sabbath.
A very wealthy lady named Mode
died recently In Paris, Texas, and left
her entire property to a rooster. The
lady in question was fervid spirit.
ulast, and firm believer in the theory
OF the TRANSPORTATION OF souls. She
imagined that the soul OF her dead
husband had entered the body of the
rooster, and therefore she caused a
special fowl-house to be built for the
bird, and ordered the servants to pay
particular attention to Mr.. Moore's
wants. She was extremely jealous OF
the hens, and whenever one OF them
was found cavorting with Pedro, as
the rooster was called, its neck was
wrung. The disgust Of the relatives