New-York tribune., 1903-08-18
FIGuRATIvE LANGUAap.


Wherefore must facts be stubborn thinesr
II we might prove in Counting gains
That two and three made seven
And when we balanced our bankboozs,
What joy to calculate
That R2t,IS taking ;1a seventeen teen fro from SIX
Our salaries would go so far
II multiplying ten by five
Would give US seventy-two-
H2w easily wed payy, our bills.
II things had happened TO be fixed
So three into one could CO.
Confusion seize the moral fool
OF ages long gone by ,,
Taught figures not to lie! Life.
A curious place for swa5ming has been chosen by
a hive OF bees az Arcot Hall. near Newcastle Eng
land. The bees had swarmed up an apple tree, and
the gardener. going up ladder 10 examine, was
startled by observing a green linnet fly out OF the
middle OF the swarm. Closer investigation
veaied its nest, with two eggs p. the queen bee
hosts. the green llnnet meanwhile calmly sitting
on her eggs. With great care the gardener cut off
the bough Of tho apple tree-swarm, nest and all
and after having smoked the bees off. he carefully
stuck the bough up again. The linnet returned to
her nest. and is now sitting on four eggs
Those Ambiguous Sentences. spartacus-Dear.
dear! Another man ends his life with bullet.
Smartacus-Well, II seems to me that life with
to end-so lonesome and uncongeniaI.-(B (Baitimore
American.
A young American once found himself in an
English country house; he was not a bad young
fellow but he carried the habit self-gIorication
beyond tine possible point, that he got himself
disIiked and ordinary said that he was a
romancer. A son of the house took him aside and
spoke to him decatey upon the subject.
"Well." The American said, 1T would hurt me to
offend any of your insular prejudces; but the fact
is that when commence to bluff my tongue sort of
away with me. I'd take it kindly IL you'd
give nudge or a kick something. when
you think I'm spreading 1t too thick"
The son of the house said he would. That night
the American took English heiress in TO dinner.
and she happened to refer to conservateries. 1t
started the American.
II had a cousin in Virginia who built himself
greenhouse that thought remarkable. 1t was
4lS feet long. 80 feet high, and Here his shlns
were barked under the table and the son of the
house caught his eye. He rubbed the dent and
added. with a sigh: "And about inch wide"
II dislike that Miss Jones. She seems double
Impossible. or she'd be wearing the other one."
-(Chaparral
Governor Lanham OF Texas himself a strong
Prohibitionist. is much interested In the temper
ance wave which is sweeping over the Lone Star
State Already $50 counties have voted total pro-
hibiton, SO others dry in Spots and in only 81
is liquor sold unrestrictedly.
is under siege on your account?' demanded the
Daughter of Priam.
replied the Cause OF the frouble.~JYale Record.
The microbe theory is older than would be gen
orally supposed 1t seems to have been a shrewd
guess OF scientists before the days of bacteriology
Defoe in his journal OF the Plague" published in
1722 wrote Some there who talk of infection
being carried on by the air only. by carrying with
1t vast numbers OF insects and invisible creatures
who enter into the body with the breath even at
the pores with the air. and these generate or emit
most acute poisons, poisonous ova, or eggs
which mingle themselves with the blood and so in
feet the body, ! have heard that the plague
taat might be distinguished by the party's breath
ing upon piece of glass. where. the breath con-
densing, there might living creatures be seen by a
microscope of strange, monstrous and frightful
shapes such dragons. snakes serpents and
devils, horriblee to behold; but this very much
question the truth of, and we had microscope at
that time. remember make the experiment
with"
Gas Mani came lhic) to see y'r gas meter.
Lady or the House-But you've been drinking
orders OF company. Now 1 SEQ double Life