Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-01-02

Josh bet Zeke that he could stay
under water two minutes" did Josh
win" 'Yep!" "Where is he now"
Under thar yet."-Philadelphia Rec
ord.
What" says the inQuisitive young
lady, lis the most popular color for a
brideT We may be a little particular
in these matters, but we should prefer
a white one.
Mrs. Justwed (house-hunting)-Oh!
Charlie, here's the loveliest little linen
closet. Janitor Gnterrupting) Dat
amt no linen closet; OATS de dining
room.-Detroit Free Press.
~Harry-Yes, darling, and 1t shall be
the purpose Of my life to surround you
with every comfort and to anticipate
and crafty your every wish. Georgina
How good of you. Harry And all
on So a week, too!
Judge-You do not seem to realize
the enormity of the charge against
you. Prisoner-No, l amt got my
lawyers bill yet. but Pm expectin'
the charge'll be enormous, all right
Philadelphia Record.
Betters-Tom does not think of him
self in his efforts to get a job under
government. 1t is the people he con-
siders, and the peoples interests. Will
lets-I know; but Tom has an idea that
he is the people.-Boston Transcript.
The first impression: Mrs. Xtreme
What do you think of my new rainy
day skirt, dear? Mr.. Xtreme--Is that
a rainy-day skirt? Mrs. Xtreme-Cer-
tainly. What did you think it was?
Mr.. Xtreme-A ruffle on your waist
Bazaar.
After the quarrel: He Ito HIMSELF
There! All on account of my beastly
temper, l suppose I've gone and said
too much. She Ito herself)-Oh, dear!
If I hadn't lost my temper, l might
have said ever SO much more.-Brook-
Ign Life.
Naked truth: Elderly maiden tout
rowing with a possible sutton and her
iitliC oiotCls Who II liiShlChCu W thO
waves)-Theodora, If you are so nerv-
Gus now what will you be at my age2
Little sister (meekly)-Thirty-seven. I
suppose.-Tit-Bits
BILL see he's a very close friend.
Jill-Well, l don't know about his be-
ing q close friend" "Oh, yes, he is. If
he wasn't close you'd have borrowed
money Of him, and If you'd borrowed
Of him he wouldn't have been a friend"
-Yonkers Statesman.
Kind Father-My dear, If you want
a good husband marry Mr.. Goodheart.
He really and truly loves you. Daugh-
ter-Are you sure Of that, pa? Kind
Father-Yes, indeed. I've been borrow
ing money of him for six months and
still he keeps coming.-Stray Stories.
1 wonder If Lucy is engaged to that
young man who calls on her so often?'
asked the gossipy neighbor. II don't
know" said the other gossipy neighbor,
"but l doubt 1t. 1 understand he. writes
for a comic paper and heads his column
Nothing Serious buffalo Express,
"See here" remarked the guest to
the new waiter, there doesn't seem
to be any soup on this menu card
"Oh, no, sir" replied the waiter, ner
vously, II didn't spill 1t at this table
it was the one on the other side of the
room."-Cincinnati Commercial Trib
une. ,
poor woman! After her hard days
work she has to stay up half the night
with her babies" whats the matter
with her husband? Why doesn't hi
help herr" "Oh, he puts In all hi!
time ~agitating for an eight-hour da!
for the workingman."-Philadelph
Press.
Burning verse: II wouldn't care 4
that poet would bring in a hundred
poems a day." said the country editor
"He knows how to write 'em, doe
he?" asked the Office bore. HE Ger
tainly does" replied the editor; 'h'
brings them in written on shingles.
indianapolis Sun.
Mary-George, 1 have heard 70,
spoken Of frequently as a successful
business man. George am that
Why? MAXWELL, considering tn
fact that you have been visiting me 70
three years, 1 think you should main
tain your reputation and talk business
He maintained his reputation.
"Auntie," said the Judge to the BAT
tered lady of color, did your HUSBAND
strike you with malice aforethought?
",Deed he didn't, jedge.v was the in
dignant reply. "he didn't hit me Wi
that mallet afore he thought; he'd bee
Aggerin' on dat er long time. jedgs
deed he had."-Baltimore News.