davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24
ANIMAL ODDITIES.

Breton sheep are not much larger
than fair sized hare.
The mandarin duck is one of the most
beautiful of aquatic birds.
The queen is always at the mercy Of
the bees and is slave instead Of a
ruler.
A beetle cne-third the size of horse
would be able to pull against more
than a dozen horses.
The greyhound, which can cover a
mile in minute and twenty-eight Sec
onds, is the fastest of quadrupeds.
The giraffe. armadillo and porcupine
have no vocal cords and are therefore
mute. Whales and serpents are also
vOiceless.
The glowworm lays eggs which are
themselves luminous. However, the
young Matched from them are not pos
sessed Of those peculiar properties until
after the first transformation.
To escape from dangers which men,
ace them starfishes commit suicide.
This instinct of self destruction is
found only in the highest and lowest
scales of animal life.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24
DR.. Gums Blood and Nerve X

DR.. Gums Blood and Nerve Tonic.
There is not a woman in this land
but at some time in her life would
have been the better for the use of
this tonic. For diseases peculiar to
women a better medicine was never
made. 1t is composed of the ingredi-
ents from which the system has been
deprived by disease, overwork or dis
sipation. 1t enters at once into 1.-The
circulation, building up the tissues
that have wasted, and making pure,
rich blood in the most direct way.
For weak, nervous and unsteady peo-
pie; pimply, pale or f1eshless people,
it will make strong, steady nerves
and give the complexion that whole
some look that indicates health. We
have hundreds of letters that people
have written us, saying that they
have gained in good, solid flesh at
| the rate of l to ) pounds per week
while using Dr. Gums Blood and
Nerve Tonic. 1t should be taken
after meals, one or two tablets each
time. Druggists sell it for 75c pei
box, or boxes for ST.. or sent post
paid on receipt of price. We are GLAD
to make reply to letters of inquiry
The advice We give you is plain and
easily understood. Address Dr. Bo
sanko Co., Philadelphia, Pa. Fol
sale by Bronson & Lighthall.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24

The man who drove the colonel over
to ClimaXville from Baldwin Station,
N. d., seemed to be SO full of go that
he was finally asked how he was get
ting along in the new state.
"Oh. so so" he replied, With II wink.
''There are two brothers of US here.
We didn't come out TO grub ana starve,
but to make money. My brother John
lives next house. The first tding he
did was to steal a whole county of
land and sell her off in lots to suit
He's $4,000 ahead of this glorious old
west, John is. and still gainin' on it."
Your brother John is evidently a
rusher," observed the colonel.
You bet he is: no flies on John
"And how about you?'
Don't make any mistake about me
The first thing | did was to get elected
county treasurer and gobble every last
cent in the box, and If things go righ
Gurin' the next two weeks I'll stea
twelve miles of that river and sell i
fur $1,000 a mile. Take me and JOIN
as pioneer pilgrims and we've nothin
in pertickler to complain Of"
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24

A story told by western congress
man is about two brothers. Ed and
Jim, who dealt in wool at their home
in Iowa. Jim went to a revival meet
ing (unthinkingly, the congressman
says and got religion" In his first
burst OF enthusiasm he told his brother
Of how much better he felt since his
conversion and urged Ed to come into
the fold. The latter pondered gravely
for time and then said: Amt any
doubt but what religions a good thing,
and I'm glad you've got it, jim, but l
guess you better let me alone just
now" he continued reflectively. You
see, Jim, one of us has got to weigh the
wool"
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24
NERVOUS ENERGY.
Don't Overdraw Your Account In the
Bank of Nature

Bank of Nature.
You have deposit Of nervous energy
placed to your account In the bank Of
your body. 1t may be large, in which
happy case you are a millionaire in
strength and accomplishing power, or
1t may be Sd microscopic as to need
careful outstanding and little expendi-
ture to keep it from dwindling out al
together.
But many millionaires become pau.
pers. and some 'dime savings" swell
into millions. 1t depends upon the way
the capital IL managed. You may
think You have SO much that there is
no need to be economical. You get up
In the morning and feel the blood
bounding through your veins like noun.
tain cataracts, and you think you can
turn the mill wheels of the world.
You work day and night or you play
day and night. which is sometimes
more exhausting. and go at the limit Of
your speed all the time. You are over
drawing your bank account Of energy,
and that needlessly. for you probably
have enough to last long and useful
lifetime. 1t pays to sit down and sharp
en- your tools. and 1t adds cent per cent
to your body bank deposit.
Another with not half your brains
or hustle will get ahead Of you in the
end. for he makes every act. every
thought, go straight to the mark. He
wastes no effort. Everything he does
means something. 1t helps toward some
given end. You spend great deal Of
ammunition on your quarry because
you are overanxious. He keeps cool,
takes steady aim and wings his bird.
You get wrinkles and frost tipped
temples and become a bankrupt in VI
tality when you should be in your
prime. You have overdrawn the best
and most valuable bank account the
Lord ever placed on the books Of life
the ability Ito love and to work and to
play and to look up at the stars"
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24
Time WAS No Object.

A shrcwd old farmer named Uncle
Harvey was approached by Il bright.
breezy young man who was selling in
cubatorS. The Green Bag. which tells
the story, says that the salesman gave
Uncle Harvey the usual eloquent argu-
ments-there was not another such in
cubator to he found. the prices were
remarkably low. and SO ON.
Uncle Harvey did not respond The
young man talked himself out and
made no impression. Finally he said
You don't seem to appreciate these III
cuhatoIS.'
No" said Uncle Harvey.
But just think of the time they will
| save"
Uncle Harvey gave him one cold lool
and said, What do you suppose / care
Tor hens time?"
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24
HebriIean Proverbs.

The daily talk of the Hebrideans has
shrewd picturesQueness. Let the
loan go laughing home" they say.
That is, "Re careful of whatever you
have borrowed"
If a person We're to be met coldly
on going to friends house. he would
say:
THE shore is the same, but the she'll
fish is not the same"
The impossible is denoted by "black-
berries in mdwinter and sea gulls'
eggs in autumn"
Better thin kneading than to be
empty" That is, Half a loaf is better
than no bread"
The man who is idle will put the
cats on the fire."
''IIe that does not look before him
will look behind him.
"A house without dog, without q
cat, without little child, is a house
without pleasure and without laugh
ter"
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24

The men were still at work when tn
cutter fired gun as a signal to heav
to, and Captain Israel brought tn
Nancy Jones up into the wind. Thel
the cutter began maneuvering to drol
alongside to leeward. Under the direc
ton Of the woman, who promenaded III
and down as calmly as if in her owl
flower garden at home. seven men, eacl
in charge Of a vessel holding snuff
ranged themselves along the bulwarks
and at the last moment Nancy tool
charge Of the biggest dish of all. A.
the cutter came slowly luffing up. will
all her crew on deck, the woman quiet
~ said to her men:
"Now you jest watch me and do as
do, and We'll give 'em such a quiltin
bee as they never heard of before. Now
altogether"
The cutter was only ten feet away
and was prepared to throw a grapple
aboard when Nancy Jones tossed her
snuff into the air and dropped to the
deck, and her example was followed
by the others. The wind carried every
PiiNA Va kAuI oNAou6 ouuA uNAOSS
the space to the cutter. and 1t may be
said that she was raked from stem to
stern and from starboard to port. In
an instant every man on the English
mans deck was blinded, coughing.
sneezing and as helpless as IL bound
hand and foot.
The crew of the Nancy Jones could
have captured the whole outfit without
striking blow, but that had not been
included in Nancy's plan. Urged on by
Captain Israel. they swung her yards
and got her on her course. and the
breeze freshened as II in sympathy
with her efforts. She was not pursued.
however. Indeed the officers and men
Of the cutter were calling out to her
for relief, and it was probably a full
hour before any one of them could see
q distance Of twenty feet over the rail.
In due time and without meeting
with further adventure the Nancy
Jones arrived at her home port. and
the tale Of the snuff was soon told. If
Nancy had found herself a heroine in
the eyes of the crew, she was now in
danger Of being made to believe that
she was the veritable Goddess Of Lib
erty. She wouldn't have it, however.
LA. me. but what is all this fuss
about?" she replied. IL allus knowed
that If l was aboard of Israel's bark l
could make them Brtishers sheer off
purity smart. Israel and all the rest
Of the men are too easy gOin'. What
we want is more women aboard of our
ships, and for one am goin' to keep
right on sailin' and lettin' King George
know the difference between apple
sass and woman who won't stand
things no longer!'
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24
Homes In Italy.

Speaking of homes and ways Of liv-
ing. Mr.. Luigi Nillari in Italian Life
In Town and Country" reveals a curl
Gus state of affairs. In Italian cities
there are no Stun districts. The poor
est of the poor may be lodged in the
same palace with people whose income
runs over $50. 600 annually. The poor
are packed away in the garrets or in
the cellars, to be sure. and their mis-
cry must be rendered all the more
acute by the sight and scent of such
lavish living. High class Italians have
no objections whatever to dwelling over
a shop or place of business.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24
HER FRENCH A FAILURE.
The Tragedy of Hacking Bottle
In the Latin Quarter.

In the Latin Quarter
She was spending her first month in
the Latin quarter Of Paris. She spoke
English fuently, with Boston accent
also she spoke German. could make q
fair stagger at Italian and knew a few
words of Hindoostanee but of French
not a syllable.
One morning she found herself in a
wrestling match with bottle OF
French shoe backing The pesky bot.
tie, understanding that it had to deal
with an alien. refused to give up Its
cork. She had no corkscrew of her
own and did not know how to ask for
one. even if she dared suspect that her
next door neighbor might be possessed
of the luxury. The tine Of her pet fork
she had bent on the obstinate plug. the
point of her best penknife she had bro
ken off short, and nothing remained
except to throw the bottle out of a
window to get at its contents She de.
cided as last resort to try breaking
the neck off the bottle. With a stove
lid litter" she administered several
cautious taps in the region Of the jug,.
lar of the obstinate neck. "Nothin'
doin'." Then she tapped harder still,
and the backing came All over he,
fingers 1t came. all over her light wool.
en- skirt and over much Of the floor and
window sill.
She decided to have the skirt cleaned
and. packing 1t into a bundle, tripped
OF to an establishment where she
found embarrassment because she
could not understand questions Final
~ she got the drift of the conversation.
The cleaners wanted to know what
had caused the spot. Fortunately a
bottle of shoe backing was standing
near by, and she pointed at this and
"ouid" and "ouid" until she left in
heightened spirits, feeling that abe was
not helpless and that she had made the
cleaners understand When the skirt
was duly returned the following week.
It was dyed black.-New York Tribune.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24

The best pill meath the stars and
stripes;
l. .cleanses the system and never
gripes,
Little Early Risers of worldly repute-
Ask for DeWitt's and take no substi-
tute.
A small pill, easy to buy, easy to
take and easy to act. but never fail
ing in results. DeWitt's Little Early
Rlsers arouse the secretions and act
as tonic to the liver, curing perma-
nently. Bronson G Lighthall, Brod-
erick & Walker.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24
Chase Tint Brown.

Learn to laugh. \ good laugh is bet.
ter than medicine. Learn how to tell a
story. A well told story is as welcome
as a sunbeam in Il sickroom. Learn to
keep your own troubles to yourself.
The world is too busy to care for your
Ills and sorrows.
Learn to stop croaking. If you can
not see any good in the world. keep the
bad to Yourself Learn to hide your
pains and aches under pleasant smiles
No one cares to hear whether you have
the earache, headache or rheumatism.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24

An Englishman writing from France
in 1880 gives this instance of appetite
coming with the eating: AT my left at
dinner today sat a very pretty young
woman, opposite to her young fellow,
her cousin or lover | heard them
speak of their dejeuner Ia fOurchette
ca meat breakfast. Yet. to my amaze
mcnt, this delicate young person ate
soup. beef, pate of l know not what,
but 1t was said to be of brains. and
they pronounced it excellent. A mack
erel followed. then roast fowl, crosses,
salad, kidneys, au vim de champagne.
green peas with sugar and chevreuil,
which the waiter offered to swear be-
fore a magistrate was real vcnison.
quantity of new cheese thicllly
spread upon bread. filling up the time
between each of the removes by scoop
ing out the quarter of Il very large mel
on; cherries. Strawberries, biscuits
(Sponge cakcs), each enough for an
Englishwoman dinner. and then cot
fee terminated the meal. to which, be
tween her and her friend they had only
half Il bottle of wine at II sous, but
which they diluted with Gin defiance of
Abcrnethy's rulel at least Il gallon of
water. OF everything | have mentioned
the woman had two-thirds 'Repletion
must. have followed you will say, No
such matter. They had scarcely wash
ed their fingers when the couple start
ed up and took their places in Il qua
drille set just formed"
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24

THE AIR,
Providence sailors who had been i'm
pressed from the Nancy Jones Il year
before and who had just deserted from
the British navy came Skulking aboard
and appealed to the captain for protec-
ton and II passage home. He was hest,
tatng. as he knew that if they were
found aboard his vessel much trouble
would onSue, when Nancy came on
the scene.
Look here Israel" she said as she
brought her hand down on the cabin
table with a slap, them men are to
sail with lis or I'll stay behind myself,
You amt "A man if YOU don't hide 'em
away and take 'em back home
Il want to, but it'll be an awful
risk" replied Israel
"Rut we don't care for the risks
Them men are true born Americans
and our nHyburs at home, and their
wives and children are mournin for
'em as if dead. They was taken off
your ship in the first place, and now
your ship shall take 'cm back home
again
That settled it. The ucsorters were
slowed away, and in due time the
bark sailed on her return. She was al
most clear of the English channel
when She discovered an English reve
nue. cutter bearing down upon her
These light government craft were
often used to board vessels and i'm
press men, as they could dodge about
a..
of-war.
The cutter was sighted just aftel
MONDAY and her GRAND was guessed
Mt in moment. She would be sure Il
have description of the three desert
ers and would no doubt impress ivy,
or three of the regular crew. even i
she did not take full possession. 1t wa
no use to spread more sail or to thinl
of resistance. The enemy carried
crew of thirty men and mounted fou
guns.
''Well, Nancy said Captain lsrae
eve shall lose the bark and 20 t
prison, and it's all your doin's"
Israel Jones, don't you holler befor
you're hit"' she replied as she la
down the spyglass. How will the off
Ger come aboard?"
'In this light wind and smooth Sc
that craft will probably run RICH
alongside"
"On which side will she Gomez"
ITO leeward, of course. What sort c
notion have you got into your head!
"a good deal of notion. You've gt
hundred pounds of Scotch snuff
one of them empty staterooms. I'll
first thing to do is to get it out on dec
also want all the pots and pans al
kettles from the cooks galley"
No one aboard the bark knew ju
what scheme the captains wife had
mind, but the snuff was brought {
deck and the pungent stuff poured in
vessels placed along the lee side.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24
GOOD SCOTCH
~ SNUFF
By John Caxton
Copyright, 1902, by the
8. s. Mcclure Company


The year was a decade after the close
Of the Revolutionary war, and the
good ship Nancy Jones of Providence
was lying in the port of Liverpool.
While the American colonies had been
successful in winning their independ-
ence, England still dominated the high
seas. Being continually in need of men
to man her ships. she passed an act
giving her naval officers authority to
board the vessels Of any other nation
and search for and remove British sub
jects. Searching for British subjects,
however. was generally an excuse to
force American sailors to fight for the
mother country. For years no Ameri-
can craft sailed the seas without fear
Of British men-of-war. and many of
them were Overhauled two or three
times year.
Captain Israel Jones was owner and
commander Of the craft named after
his wife. He was good sailor, but
easy going. When he would return
home to tell Nancy that he had been
overhauled and lost man or two. she
would listen with flashing eyes and ex-
claim:
"Waal, Israel Jones, don't consider
you much of man to let such things
happen. If them British had me to
deal with, 1t would have been differ
emit"
She had sailed with him on the pres
ent voyage, and as the craft was COM
pleting her loading in Liverpool three
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24
FORGOT Himself.

Mrs. Henpeck-We hev bin married
twenty years today, Hiram
Hiram with sigh)-Yes, fei twenty
years we've fought
Mrs. Henpeck (scowlingl - What?
You old wretch:
Hiram cEly)-Life's battles to-
gether, Mirandy.-Judge.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24

Mr.. Grogan-Sure, Moike, an what
did yez do wit yure dorg!
Mike-Oh, he wuz wort SO an OF
KEEP t'inkin' If some wan sh'd stale
UNI Oh could i'll afford tn loss, so OF
gave um away, b'gorra. - Chicago
News
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24

"HOw wondrous is nature, sighed
the dreamy eyed person.
you betw answered the practical
man. why, you know how little love
is lost between the Hibernians and the
Africans. and just lock how nature has
arranged things so as to prevent the
Irish potato from coming in contact
with the blackberry" Baltimore
American
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24
Merely a Suggestion.

"Man proposes and woman disposes,"
remarked the young man who gets quo
tations twisted.
"Well." replied the beautiful blond on
the other end of the sofa, I'm disposed
to do my part If some man will do his"
Three minutes later she had him
Chicago News.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24
AyvfuIly Henightcd,

Dasherly-Is be 50 very ignorant?
Flasherly-Ignorant? Why, actually,
he doesn't even know a cure for colds!
kansas City Independent
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24

wonder why 1t is we are not all
kinder than we are. How easily it is
done! How instantaneously it acts!
How infallibly 1t Is remembered
DrummOnd.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24

The Bee has received a limited
number of Rand-McNaIiy's mounted
wall map, the world on one side,
Montana on the other. No home
should be without one.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24

Pay your subscription six months
in advance and receive history.
geography and atlas of the world al
in one.
The Kalispell bee. [volume] (Kalispell, Mont.) 1900-192?, 1903-03-24

Wash waists in great profusion, at
moderate prices, have arrived at Will
sons.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1903-10-26
ROOSEVELT OBSERVES
i HIS 45TH BIRTHDAY

WASHINGTON, Oct. 28.--Presi-
dent Roosevelt was born in New
York city. October 81, 1858. He will
celebrate the forty-ffth anniversary
of his birth in an entirely informal
manner at the White House tomor-
row. lunching and dining with such
members of his family as are in the
city and with few intimate friends.
Mr.. Roosevelt will spend the day in
public business as usual. putting the
finishing touches to his message to
congress. the birthday celebration
being incidental and quietly observ-
ed only in the domestic circle. I'm
fortunately Miss Alice Roosevelt will
be absent from the family table. hav-
ing gone to Chicago on a visit to
friends. but she will remember her
father with birthday gift. as has
always been her custom.
Mr.. Rooseyelt's career as a public
man began % years ago. The various
steps to the office Of president of the
United States which he now holds are
thus given in chronological order:
November, 1sSi-Elected a MEM
bef of the New York state assembly;
served during the sessions of 1882.
1888 and 1884. .
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1903-10-26

lsS6-Republican candidate fol
mayor Of New York.
18Ss--Appointed member of the
United States civil service commits.
sion by President Harrison.
1895-Appointed president Of the
New York board of police commits.
sioners
1897--Appointed assistant secretary
Of the navy by President Mckinley
1898-Resigned from the navy de-
partment and. with Colonel Wood
organized "Roosevelts Rough Rid
ers." and was commissioned lieuten.
ant colonel.
July 1. 189S-Led the Rough Rid.
ers" In charge up San Juan hill; ad-
vanced to the rank of colonel.
November 1, 1S9S-Elected govern.
or of New York.
June 81. 1900-Nominated for vice
president of the United States.
November 4, 1900-Elected vice
president of the United States.
March 4. 1901-Inaugurated vice
president of the United States with
william Mckinley as president.
September II. 1901-Took the oath
of office as president of the United
States to succeed President Mckinley
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1903-10-26

LEXINGTON, Ky, Oct. 26.-This
has been great season for burgoo,
and politics is the cause of it. The
campaign for governor of Kentucky has
caused Gus Jaubert of this city, noted
burgoo and barbecue expert, to be very
much in demand, as the rival candidates
for governor both set great feasts at
their campaign openings. c. w.
Beckham, democrat, at Winchester, and
Colonel Morris b. Belknap, republican,
at Munfordville.
What is burgoo? The word of the
maker must be taken by those who
have not enjoyed taste. for there is
never any of it left over for analysis.
For one thing, it is evidently fright
good" to judge from the way men,
women and children crowd round the
kettle, armed with bright, new tin cups
and spoons, clamoring for their share.
Burgoo is distinctly Kentucky in
stitution, concocted and dispensed with
Kentucky liberality. 1t is usually found
served with lavish, even extravagant
hand. Twenty.four hours before this
burgoo is to be finished busy helpers DO
gin pairing or cutting up nearly every
known vegetable. All this is put into
the pot, after various Juicy meats and
game have been simmering, and when
the whole ia a thick, appeti,ins stew.
with the meat reduced to its finest
shreds, and the vegetables impalpably
fine. you have burgoo. II it is not
made right, it does not taste right,
and only gifted burgoo-maker can
await the outcome of his work with
serenity, Even then he does not dare