The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-04-26
Men, Women
and Things

s@asA q AAses %
The joys of fiat living in st. Paul
have never been satisfactorily exploit
ed; 1t IS difficulty to do justice to them
in one language. A ST. Paul woman
with worried look on her face con-
fided to friend recently what a pleas
ant winter she had in an apartment
house on Dayton avenue. She said
the woman over her had nervous pros
tration and could not bear the slight
est noise; the woman under her had
three children under five; the people
to the left had a new pianola and those
on the other side had a son who was
learning to play the violin, and there
was no deadening in the walls: when
the pianola and the violin and the
children all got at it, the woman with
nervous proStration sent a servant be-
low to inform the woman who was not
making a sound that if she did not
stop that noise she would telephone
for the agent! Then to make matters
more interesting for this victim of
neighbors, the janitor fell in love with
her cook and neglected the flats in his
devotion to his inamorata, to the in
tense disgust of the other tenants. To
top everything else. the cook refused
to smile on his suit, and be began a
series of prosecutions which deprived
the family of even the proper amount
of steam heat. The lady of the house
found herself persuading the cook to
think we'll before she refused such a
good chance, with the hope that the
fiat would once more be warm and
properly attended to. This afflicted
woman says she is going to move into
a house that is set in the midst of a
ten acre lot.
The Amende Honorable.
A very distressing affair occurred not
long ago in Brooklyn, when a Gen
Mason, hitherto unknown to fame
threw water in the face of Mrs. Agnew
also unknown, because of a dispute, the
exact nature of which is not stated in
the reports. What we are concerned
in is Gen. Mason's apology. which is
as handsome and unique as a modern
man could make. He said he was very
busy when she called at his office, and
deeply regretted that he had thrown
water in her face. OF course that
makes it all right, because busy mer
should not be held responsible fol
what they do when as busy as that
Mrs. AgneW was at first inclined to be
angry, but made UP her mind that, as
a Christian, she must forgive. All Of
which goes to show that Christian civ
ilization has taken a firm hold or
Brooklyn, and while we cannot helr
but admire, we must also strive tC
emulate. 1t is evident, too. that being
busy in Brooklyn means more than il
does here.
A President Wrong End Up.
Reports from Yellowstone park-whict
Just recently was the hub of the uni
verse-are not as satisfactory as they
might be. We are glad the president
had good time and met with no Sc
rious mishaps, but we shudder Wher
We think of him and the worthy John
Burroughs with their feet UP in the
air and their heads i'll the snow. Where
were the secret service men, who were
SO busy looking after women in ST
Paul? What are they for, if not tc
prevent the turning upside down OF
the chief executive? 1t seems thai
these two distinguished men went out
on skis-treacherous things at best
and either the fact that they were sup
porting the hope of the nation, OF
something or other. so affected those
skis that they Immediately began tC
soar. and as two Of them were attach
ed to the pedal extremities of the
president, his head was obliged to &c
down and he bit the duSt-or the snow
for the first time since Kermit threw
him in his own front yard. But he viii
not down long, and just as he was
thought to be disposed of for all time
by being given the position of vice
president, so now he has risen agar
as good as new. The only one who
probably enjoyed a good laugh at the
proceeding was one Seton Thompson
who would not care how long his erst-
while fS"nd Burroughs remained upon
his head.
An memorable Roman.
re-is-one~man in st. Paul who
has stern and most creditable sense
Of justice and does not believe that
the guilty should escape even in his
own household. This righteous NOR
alist gave his nine-year- daughter
so cents with which to purchase neces-
sites for the family, and the unnatural
wretch spent the sum for candy. II
Is difficult to imagine greater perfidy
than this, and no wonder this great
and good man, her father. resented
such an outrageous crime. He had her
arrested for misrepresentation of funds
and not even the fact that she was
hardly more than an infant prevented
the just man from doing his duty. He
sent for the patrol wagon and the
miserable criminal spent the night in
the Jail. How proud the driver of the
patrol wagon must have been, and how
many large police officers it must have
taken to land the desperate creature
in the lookup. But it was done. This
happy father does not allow love to
prevent his doing his duty by his Off
spring; he is bringing them up in the
way they should go, and without doubt
way they will go. There are crimes
we can tolerate, but misrepresentation
Of funds is not one of them.
Grub and Morals.
Some of the club women of st. Paul
have been studying food in relation to
morality. Come to think of it, food
has quite a bit to do with morals. II
is well for the women to take up this
subject in connection with domestic
economy, for undoubtedly there would
be fewer crimes committed if there
were more good cooks. What kind OF
morals will a man have who is fed
on pure food and have-a-bita? If this
matter is traced to it's source it will
probably be discovered that the peni-
tentiaries Of the country are full OF
depraved men who are the victims OF
poor cooks. So, after all, as in the case
of Eve and the apple, men can throw
the blame for their misconduct upon
the woman. If the women of the coun-
try wish to make men sweet, pure and
good, let them go to a cooking school
and learn how to make their husbands
happy.
Always Something Troubling.
The troubles of the various diplo-