Evening star., 1903-07-28
ON GROWING OLD.
DR.. Alfred Schofield Describes Signs Of
Increasing Age

From the Pail Mall Gazette
The night bell rang. Minslng at first
with my dreams AS / Steep profoundly, II
slowly disentangles Itself. and second peal
rouses mo tn consciousness. l lie in bed
with limbs of lead, my body a dead weight
my head alone Is alive. and Is consciously
myself" Yes. that's Just il. The body
is a weight because il Is dead: not dead per
nlanently nor cnuyrutuually but if death
be the finaI separation of body and spirit
l am conscious that that separation has
begun. In short. / am growing old
We'll remember how different IL WAS only a
few years ago. There WAS no cleavage
however minute between body aud Suirgt
then. If "A bell roused me "ut of sleep. 1
sprang up that instant out of bed instinct
with Ife. my brain no more alive than my
body, and the whole-mys | was a
whole. and had consciously defined
parts.
Now how different. Th. ego the in
dlvi,iuality mt any rate as lie here on
waking seems To have retired into the
brain, and LEFT the body a dead machine
not myself. into which feel the enrrg zing
power propelled from the brain slowly and
even painfully entering The cleavage has
begun, and death Itself is merely its com
pletion. A surprising fact Is the enormous
weight the body becomes the moment II
ceases to be part Of the ego. / was CON
scious Of no weight at all I'm legs OF body
as long they were myself" and q har-
monious whole: but now-the legs seem
modelled in lead. and form burrows in the
bed: and as try TO lift Them understand
the enormous amount ur leverage required
L have no thought of paralysis. | know
they will move when the power enters: but
1t has to enter: and enter All apparently in
ert mass: and this entry. moreover IS I,
matter Of distinct effort OF will.
At last | am up; but il is not pleasure
but an effort still My head forces my
body into its clothes as a nurse would dress
-t,ps k.t1
out To see a patient. and as l walk along 1
propel my legs alternately and cunsc. .ously
/ don't drive them like horses hut rather
propel them like the crankS "f cycle AS
| proceed. however. the cleavage, seems
gradually 10 disappear, and as return
from the s!ckbcd am once more a unity
legs, arms, body, head. The man is alive
and not merely the head. All this will be
dismissed by the superficial reader rs the
normal process in waking. but 1t is not sn
There is profound t'iffsrence of DEEPEST
psychological and physiological meaning
between what | have described and nv
waking under the same cirCumsta noes years
ago.
1 am now fifty-sx. have led a steady.
temperate life. in good physical and
mental health, and neither under nor over
worked. This commencing cleavage Is the
beginning OF that process which. slowly
contlnued-barring accidents and dsease-
will end in natural death: an end to lfe
that only comes to one IN ten in this coun-
try. am growing old But there are
other slight signs. am conscious OF a lnss
OF elasticity. II / Jump down a little
height. or run down hill or stride over
broken ground l hnd | come down on my
feet and legs with increa sed weight Solid
ity seems to have replaced elasticity, with
a resulting jar | am somewhat SITTER IN
all my movements, though very slightly so.
There are. OF course, certain changes in my
body. The elastic tissue is not so elastic
but am conscious this is not all
The bottom reason seems TO me to be that
my feet and legs are no longer an INSOFAR
able part OF myself. as formerly; are not
50 to speak, so highly vital 'zed: but are
more wooden, more like supports To tho
body than parts of it. With all this. my
er. Reason burns with less smoke and Il
clearer flame. AS the ego seems TO re-
tire into the spiritual part of me- slowly
by degrees before 1t takes its final flight
at death. the mind seems more powerful
and thinking becomes a more positive
pleasure. The separation of body and soul
IN a healthy man seems, then. really a very
gradual and almost ifnperCeptiha process
that begins whenever the summit of the hiu
Of life is reached and the long descent com
mences. 1t becomes more and more con-
spicuous as old age creeps on. but even at
nfty Is quite apparent. At first. of COURSE,
the cleavage Is only a tiny fisSure seen as a
phenomenon at rare times. But IL suon be
comes familiar and one gets more and
more accustomed to looking on the body
external object and not ones SELF
only, perhaps. for short time In the af-
ternoons, when at ones brightest that the
old feeling of unity briefly returns: and
thus the way is gently prepared for tho
spirits final flight, when the link at last
IS severed-and the man dead.