Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-07-03
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money and both want it."-Chicago
Post.
Lizzie-"Does Chimmy know how to
make love?" Aggie-"Sure! He hain't
been caddie two years fer nutt'nr-
Puck.
Revised Proverb.-Take care Of the
pennies, and after while the dollars
will take care Of fyou.-Pennsylvania |
Punch Bowl.
He-Are you superstitious? She
Not bit. He-Well, then, can make
a clean breast Of it. You are my thir-
teenth bride.-New York Sun.
Kate-Is there much difference in
their social position? Nell-Oh, yes.
Her father gets salary, and his faith
er gets wages.-Somerville Journal.
A Pleased Auditor.-Patience-
says some one was pleased to hear her
talk for an hour" Patrice-"Perhaps
she was talking to herself. ."-Yonkers
Statesman.
Hes so foolish" said the one in
white. "FoolishT' returned the one
In gray. 'Yes. Why, he wants me
to marry him. "Oh, then he is fool
ish."-Chicago Post.
The Agent have a chronometer
here which records the millionth part
Of a second Of time. The Busy Man
l haven't got that much time to give
you.-Yonkers Statesman.
"How about the rent of this house
Of yours, Filter? Doesn't the landlord
ask good deal for it?' "Yes; he Of
ten asks five and six times a month
for 1.-THE New Yorker.
Mr.. Hippo-Here's bill for $3.50 for
dress. Thought you said that goods
was only a dollar yard? Mrs. Hippo
That's correct, but it took $50 yards
to make it.-Chicago News.
'Do you believe in luck?' "Some-
: times. See that fat woman with the
red hat over there?" Eyes" Twenty
two years ago she refused to marry
me."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Bacon-"My husband is so tired
. when Sunday comes" Mrs. Egbert-
a why so?" Mrs. Bacon-"He's just got
' through reading the papers Of the Sun
day before "-Yonkers Statesman.
"Do minstrels take in this town?" in
. quired the advance agent of the Colos
:, sal Black Cork Troupe "Well, the
J. last that were here did," responded thu
7 inn keeper, sourly.-Chicago News.
}. "You have great admiration for you
j. wife's judgment" said the friend. g
l. have" answered Mr.. Meekton. She
/, the only woman who ever said yes
9 when proposed to her."-Washingtol
n Star.
i. Pallette-"You'd be surprised if yo'
knew the amount of time spent on tha
canvas" Pellette-"Yes; understan,
men have stood in front of it for hour
trying to make out what it is."-Yon
IA kers Statesman.
,e "Who originated the remark, 1T is a.
lt ways the unexpected that happensT
81 don't know" said the melanchol
government attache, "but | suspect h
worked in the weathe, bureau
Washington Star.
"My gracious! dear" said the Oh
cago bridegroom, ''you were awful
nervous during the ceremony. "Ye
it's my nature" replied the fair Oh
cago bride. 81 suppose I'll be just 6
nervous the next time."-Chicag
Tribune.
Ascum-"How are the plans for yor
new house coming along" Subbubs
"Splendidly. My wife has finally lai
out all the closets she wants, and no
all the architects got to do Is to bui
the house around hem."-Philade
phia Press.
A Bigger Family.-"Yes," Mi
Woodby was saying, my eldest sist
married one of the Vanden Cilts,
New York" "You don't sayr' replit
Miss Pepprey; "a first cousin of mil
married one Of the Joneses of Il
United es."-Philadelphia Press.
Not Too Precipitate.-"Ah, Jea
dear" she said to the duke, "why dor
you 20 to papa to-day? Delays a
dangerous, you know" "Yes, reali
that" he replied, "but I've only know
you three days, and these get-ric
quick schemes always seem to be
risky. y."-Chicago Record-Herald.
] She stuttered.-He stood in the doc
way, hat in hand, and the stutteril
l young lady was inviting him to c.
again. "Come around S-s-s-s-s." S
began. trying to say Sunday, but t