The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1903-04-17

ment and happiness are theirs
Happy the man who shall posses
such an inestimable gem. Ar
there any who deserve it?
Born to J. w. Bush and Stray J
Bird, a matrimonial smile. Now
gentlemen, will you to this smil
of matrimony move and reliev
the bachelors paradise of you
presence.
Isn't it strange that Tom Harpe
would leave Rives and come t.
Pleasant Hill for the benefit of the
school, while Tom Arell, of Critten
don Grove, moves to Rives for the
benefit OF the Rives school. Truly
the world does move.
Walter, o Walter. your absence
has become conspicuous around
Pleasant Hill of late. Will you
give us your reasons for treating us
thusiv? The same old hitching
post is here and you are still well
come, so come again and make
yourself once more at home.
We notice Mr.. Drury has done
away with the Jim Wise dog retreat
in time of danger, and we suggest
that Jimmie stamp himself and
have the rural route man to leave
him in the mail box for safe deliv-
cry. 1t beats a cedar tree. Mr..
Drury has cut down cedar trees,
tore away old houses and fences
and replaced them with new ones
and otherwise heautified his premi-
ses in order that there would not
be such a contrast between the
looks of the place and that OF his
wife and daughters until we
are ashamed of our old rusty
houses. But we have not failed to
discover the power that moves the
gentleman around, and we hope
this same power may turn its at
tention to the identifying of his
person, and also trust some OF the
neighbors may catch on to the
spirit of improvement in the near
future.
"Old CULVER" be careful how
you criticise us on personal sub
iects. Mrs. B. has already landed
some objections to a resurrection
of the pleasures of bygone days
with anyone except herself.
To "Russ T. Kuss," we will say
if we fail to dispose of the old bach
elors of Number Four this year we
will turn them over to you for fu-
ture punishment, and are you GER
tain you do not need some punish
ment yourself. TO all the dear lit
tie female critics of the past, will
say we have no desire to challenge
you for a hair pulling, from the
fact that our head is not yet bald,
but refer you to P. H. O.
Now to our dear sister, "Old
Rusti." Will say you are not as
your name indicates, very rusty,
but every word you write is full of
to us and at each reading
we are reminded of the tact that
you head the list with interesting
communications, and the remem-
orance of your personality is ever
.resh in our memory; and when
7our communications do not appear
We feel that a very important some
hing has been left out of The
Commercial.
o yes, we went down to Horn
peak last week and failed to hear
Sylvan sing love among the roses.
n fact we could not locate her, but
We located several who are men,
Toned in a recent article and recog-
lized one of them as one of our old
Middle Tennessee friends and
Will you please give to
he proud father our respects.
"Violet," you did not read my ar
icle carefully, or you would not
lave been so severe. We did not
lave the blues. At your earliest
visit old John and try
md form correct opinion of us.
You would be surprised at hearing
'ur happy whistle and hearty
augh. Will you come?
JOHN BARLEYCoRN
The Fence Question.