davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
NeverS for Both Sexes.

Never think because persons are poor that
they are second and third raters- A first rate
millionaire may be inferior 10 a good dog or
horse, while poor man may be of the elect.
Never try TO be superior with superior folk.
Save your superiority for your interiors.
Never imagine that immortality and bril-
liancy are twins. for one is iIlegitimate.
Never believe that a man is great because
the inferior press he is for inferior printers
ink is responsible for more great men than
genius. and rhinestone is resplendent in a
handful Of pebbles until diamond is dropped
in.
structible
Never sympsthize with poor man who has
had his opportunity without improving IL.
Never think that deprzvity does not kill more
men thas old age and doctors.
Never, when you are middIe-aged, read the
books you loved when a boy. Die with the
pleasant memories Of them. for you grow-books
do not.
Never try TO hatter or bribe God. for He is as
wise as He is incorruptible. and you are simply
killng-no, vasting-time.
Never imagine that ''going TO church every
Sunday will get you into heaven, that
keeping Lent will. Try keeping clean the
year round.
Never talk Of ages, grammar. pronunciation
in gatherings, for those things there are the
half-masted flags of mediocrity.
j. Z. Mccain.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
One or the Other.

Gee Whit exclaimed the nervy caller,
Il haven't another match, and my cigarette
has gone ou-.''
well" replied the polite young woman,
who could stand IL longer, you would
have had 20 II it hadn't. t."-CathOlic Standard
and Timea
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

The foregoing suggestions are pre-
sented because, not having heard any
thing of this committee of late, our
fears are that it is out of material.
There are other matters which we
may present later. For the present
we content ourselves with one further
suggestion: How would it do to label
the committees report "The Comedy
Of District Government"
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
The Pe0bA's Forum.
A Superfuous "Of."

To the Editor Of The Washington Times:
In an article by the Marquise de Fontenoy,
which recently appeared in The Times, refer
ence is made to the Marquis Of Townshend.
Permit me to remark that among the twenty
three marquesses in the English peerage there
are two in whose title the "of'' is omitted,
viz, '"Townshend'' and Camden The cor
rect way for the marquise TO have spoken Of
him should have been Marques Townshend, A"
without the ''of' sAAA
Washington Sent
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
On the Yacht.

You'll become used 10 the motion Of ths
yacht soon, dearest" said the young husband,
soothingly. IT'S your home, you know, for
the next month"
Then what ails me. suppose" replied the
wan bride, trying 70 smile, is homesckness. -
The New Yorker
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Lord Salisbury, IL he is in a position TO
know what is going on in London, may
now be rejecting that the worst thing
about being dead and famous is that
Alfred Austin is liable to an outbreak of
poetry on the deceased.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
The Human Insect.

He was described as beetle browsd,
As busy as a bee;
As lively a. cricket
And gay June bug for giee;
he hUZzed like a mosquito
BUt the people saiG .'Oh, my.
We DO not like that persons ways,
Tic seems extremely hy.'
New Orleans Times Democr.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
The District Government.
Abundant Material for Investigation at
Hand

Our readers have doubtless discov-
cred that The Times is in earnest IN
Its attempts to protect taxpayers and
reform the sadly inefficient Distric;
government. Its first attack was up
on the ''curse of secrecy" which, until
the advent of Commissioner West.
has been the right arm of our author
tiles IN keeping the public in igno-
rance of our real conditions. Since
he assumed his duties, the severely
worked stamp ''Not for Publication
has had much needed rest.
In the interest OF our citizens. we
venture to make a few suggestions to
the investigating committee, which,
quite IN keeping with the methods
that have heretofore prevailed, an
pounced that its work Is to be so Sc
cret that even the name of the Office
upon which it may be casting It's
searchlight may not be known
First, we hope that the Health
Officer, who heads the inquiry, has
proceeded according to the excellent
maxim physician heal thyself," and
IS inquiring into all the circumstan-
ces connected with booming a eompa-
ry, of which he is the leading officer.
/. his official report, and circulating
il under the penalty frank of the
District government.
The public Will expect to learn just
how it happened that for years and
years there was no protection in the
shape of bonds for the many mil
ions of the District revenues, except
the personal honesty Of the Collector
and the Assessor.
While In the Auditors Office the
committee might well inquire how it
happened that Mr.. Petty, who was
bonded as an Auditor, was made Gus
todian of money and a disbursipg
Cflicer without steps being taken to
bond him in his new duties. There
should also be an examination TO Dc
termine if the Commissioners them
selves are not liable, under their $50
900 bond given to insure the faithful
performance of duty, for the Watson
sTealings They certainly neither dc
vised nor enforced any protective
2ieasures--so far, at least, as we are
ablc 20 discover.
There is a wide field for this COM
mittee TO cultivate, if it desires to in
form the public as TO the methods fol
lowed, provided there IS any method
followed, in the awards of contracts
and the purchase Of supplies.
Then there is the Office Of the
Corporation Counsel. We trust
that viii not be given the cold
shoulder. If the announcements from
that Office, and those given out by the
Corporation Counsel himself, are cor
rect the statute law against bogus
reouisitions, and false vouchers, and
unauthorized payment of public
moneys, are not binding in the Dis
trlct. Would it be asking too much
for the committee 10 rurn its search
- =, 4I,at dfra.fi.,,, .
Then, too, there Is that matter of
poisoning 4 hundred helpless chill
,lren. When the subordinates Of the
Health Of6cer, who is chairman OF
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Rumpled, But Serene.

why, how -umpled your shirt waist is
Edith"
Dear me! and it has only just been pressed,
too"
But ST. John colored deeply.-Detroit Free
Press.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Men about town in London, who are
punctillous In following the latest fash
ion, arc now going about hatless. Z
the rain and occasional sunshine OF the
City of Fog should happen to start their
brains to growing and then brains should
be out of style. ii would be sad thing
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

There are still possibilities for the
publisher in search of sensation. No
body has yet announced the publication
OF the love letters of J. Pierpont Nor
gan
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

The trouble in Bulgaria was said 10
have blown over some time ago. II is
now thought that this was a mistake.
and that the report should have been
blown up
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Nice and Encouraging.

Would you marry Chinaman?" he asked
ooh, dear" the girl who is sarcastic replied,
this IS 80 suddenl But ! always supposed
you merely looked like one.'-Chicsgo Record
Herald.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
In a Lighter Vein.
Septembuh.

On the Chesapeake remember.
Where the bivalve has his cloister-
There the r that's in September
Is as silent as the oyster.
Chicago Tribune.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Homer had lust completed the "Iliad.

Homer had Just completed the "Iliad.'
1t will never CO. said his friends There
is not even one coon song in the whole thing"
But" interposed the poet. remember. il
will be harder to translate than Scotch dialect"
Recognizing that here, indeed. was true
genius, they hsied him with acclaim.
New York sun.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

The peach crop is a failure, but
peaches continue 10 come from some
where in the usual mysterious manner.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
AppTopriate.

Mrs. Hcnpeck-I wonder why they always put
wCman's head on cOius7
Mr. Henpeck-Oh, we'll: money talks, you
knOw.-MiiWaukee Journal.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Mr. Edison wants the automobile made
fool proof" but IT will take bigger
genius than he is to invent a way to
do it.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
LuPubrious.

SMITH attended a bachelors funeral yester-
day.
.Iones-You don't say; whose was III
Smith-My own; l got marrried-New York
Herald
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

this committee. arrest those supposed
to be concerned. some under-strapper
If the Police Department turns them
loose upon a collateral of So. Is this
the District rate, we may ask. IN ease
Of arrests for the wholesale poison
ing of the infant inmates of one of
the Districts institutions? Or would
il be useless to inquire why the SUI
Perintendent failed to report the sue
cessive poisonings until all traces
which might have aided discovery had
Disappeared
Just now there is some curiosity
about the secret investigation con
Quoted a year ago into the affairs of
this same home. The public, we are
inclined to think, has a right to have
light thrown on that very interesting
chapter.
Of course, we assume that the
Board of Education will be asked
about the fraudulent voucher for
5000. AT the same time it might not
be amiss to inquire about the long
continued struggles which that board
has had with coal contractors. Even
at the risk of duliing the comic fea-
lures of the committees report, there
should be included i'll it the official
correspondence between the Board of
Education and the District authori-
ties on this subject
Following, there should be inquiry
as TO the investigation into school
conditions by the Commissioners upon
the order of President Roosevelt, con-
Quoted IN secret, allowed to drag along
over year, and finally whitewashed,
it is said, in the face of overwhelming
evidence as to intolerable conditions.
furnished by a number of the most
prominent officials and teachers III
the schools. We hope DIR. Woodward
viii not forget the Board Of Educa-
ton.
1t would be exceedingly interesting
if this committee would procure a
certified list Of all those things con-
Injected with the District administra-
ton which the Commissioners ''have
never heard Of" though 1t might iii
lvOlumes.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Nero was executing violin solo while Rome

burned.
I'm glad thought Of this fire scheme" he
exclaimed, 'it vii prevent them from calling
me a yirtTosor'
Rejoicing in the titles Of Monster and TyTant.
he continued his wild refrain.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Some girls modest it makes them blush
20 sec their own underwear on the clothes line
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

What woman likes about going to Europe is
the pain she gives those who can't go.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
The Art of the Ancients.

Plutarch was writing lis lives.
Il think they will be go" he said, conf
dcntiaIly. Il shall advertise that they contain
hitherto unpublished love letters"
Subsequent circulation showed the wisdom Of
MS scheme.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
REFLECTIONS. OF A BACHELOR.

A man can fcol woman whenever she want
him to-
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Never think because persons are poor that
they second and third raters- A first rate
millionaire may be inferior 10 a good dog or
horse, while poor man may be of the elect.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

It's queer what different ideas widowers and
widows have about what is good and what bad
luck.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Whether a girl has red hair or auburn hair de-
peuds on whether she is yours or somebody
elss's.
New York Press
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Never try TO fatter or bribe God. for He is a
wise as He is incorruptible. and you are simpl.
killing-no, wasting-time.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Never try TO be superior with superior folk.
Save your superiority for your interiors
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Never, when YOU middIe-sged, read the
books you loved when a boy. Die with the
pleasant memories Of them. for you grow-books
do not.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Never imagine that going TO church every
Sunday will get you into heaven, that
keeping Lent will. Try keeping clean the
year round.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Never imagine that immortality and brill
liancy are twins. for one is illegitimate.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Never talk Of ages, grammar. or pronunciation
in gatherings, for those things there are the
halfmasted flags of mediocrity.
Mr(t
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

Never think that depravity does not kill more
men THAI old age and doctors.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-02-27
City Council Doings.

At tho las; meeting Of tho city council
tho annual appropriation bill was dis
eusssd and advanced toward tho stage
Of frs, publication. Il ~ill be found In
another column
Tho Santa 70 has responded promptly
TO tho councils foaues; for tho protection
Of tho public from passing trains. and a;
the las; meeting asked u gate and a
Naiehrnar on Main stree, and electric
boIls on Ninth and Tenth stree: would
moo; tho demands Of tho situation. Tho
council though; ;ha; tho eonpsny's prop
psi,ion was fair one.
Some discussion bofofe the council in
diea;ed ,hs, tho Santa Fe would allow
tho plot Of ground south Of tho dapo; TO
be parked. This is something which
Mayor Swins. tho woinsn's Club and
citizens generally have advocated for a
long time. and our readers will ba pleased
TO know that tharo Is some hopa Of tho
space mentioned boing converted from a
halfway dumping ground into place Of
beauty.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-02-27

In an interview with DR.. Sigman. the
now manager. We learn that ho has
placed Tho Grand in tho theatrical
circuit
This Is move commensurate with tho
sixe and beauty Of The Grand and will
assure for Rocky Ford most Of tho at
fractions playing in Denver. Pueblo. Col
orado Springs, Leadyille and other Colo
rado cities.
Owing To tho ls.sness Of booking on the
circuit. Dr.. Sigman will no, be able TO
secure as many 1f these attractions for
tho balance Of this season as no would
had Tho Grand bcen booked earlier. many
Of tho ,roupas being already routed.
However. this insufes US a number Of
good attractions for tho balance Of this
season. and a full booking for all o! next.
II Is tho intention o. the now manage
mon, 70 suppress all rowdyism and an-
gcn,lemsnly esndue; during performances,
whether occurring In tho gallery OF else
whera In tho house. To this end. all per
sons behaving unsesfnly. OF in any man
nor disturbing others, will DO required 10
leave tho house and admission denied
them TO all subseausr. entertainments.
There wiil be slish, change In ,hs
scale OF prices Of seats. ,aking effect
N..rh o tgns "a Eaff1gNzs
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-02-27
Rocky f'ord's Advantages Apprceiat.
cd by an AIabamlsn.

Last fall John E. Stanley. foreman Of
the Enterprise office. was visited by his
brother. Cassius NJ. Stanley, who is on
the reportorial staff of the Birmingham
IAla.l Age-Herald. one Of the leading
papers Of the south. In recent issue Of
the Age-Herald Mr.. Stanley has long
article giving his impressions Of the Rocky
Ford country. Our unequalled irrigation
facilities and our melons and sugar beets
are given highly complimentary mention.
A condensed account is given Of the pro-
cess Of beet sugar manufacture. MIR.
Stanley closes his article as follows;
After the visitor has seen the factory,
the melons and the fruit, and has heard
the wonderful tale Of Rocky Ford's
growth, he leaves with the impression
that the town is almost an ideal place to
live in. even II II was desert a few
years ago.
ANY town or city can get valuable
lesson from Rocky Ford by coming in
contact with its people. There is proba-
bly, not better advertised town In the
United States than il is. and il is due as
much as anything else TO the way its
people treat visitors. A man who has
once been there never tires Of talking
about the place"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-02-27
FIRST SErlI-ANNUAl. rlEETINO
Otero County Beet Growers PrOtec-
tive Association Elects Officers
and Plans for Important
Business.

The first semi-annual meeting OF the
Otero County Beet Growers Protective
association was held last Saturday in
Rocky Ford in X. p. hall. There was a
good attendance and an increased inter-
est was apparent
The election OF officers and directors to
serve during the ensuing year was taken
up. and on motion OF C. W. Fenlason
Secretary Pollock was instructed to cast
the ballot for the temporary officers and
directors. with the exception OF two di-
reetors who failed to appear and express
a willingness TO serve. which places were
to be filled by action OF the board.
The officers elected are as follows:
President, w. 3. Ebbert; yice-president.
E. Brewer; secretary. j. p. Pollock:
treasurer. Vim. Matthews: directors, r.
n. Meclain. A. Latson. J. N. Beatty. A.
Ogbun. L. o. Evans. J. l. Potter. J. w.
Bennett. Geo. Hallows and ]. o. Wood
leaving two to be elected by tho board.
Action was taken during the course Of
the day in matters OF Importance along
several lines. OF which We mention a
motion instruc,ing the board TO secure
tho services OF competent person TO
act as superintendent OF tho labor bureau
Of the association. who shall have charge
Of all correspondence Of parties seeking
employment. and 10 bo in touch with tho
members Of tho association as 70 their
wants regarding tho employment, Of men
for work in the beet fields. and To whom
applicants for employment, will DO re-
feued.
Rumors being aiiost TO tho effect that
tho American Beet Sugar company in
tended TO leave tho matter Of providing
labor entirely with tho bee, grower. a
representative Of tho company on reques,
Of tho meeting appeared and assured tho
association that the company will heartily
cooperate In all practical ways Of pro-
yiding for labor. Accordingly motion
was passed pending for a committee o.
three To be appointed By tho board To
confer with tho American Bee, Sugar
company ss soon as practical
The work Of this association eanno, bu,
be Of grea, benefit To all bes, growers.
and every farmer who has an aero Of
hee,s should DO a member. Tho officers
Of tho association say that ;hey arc no;
having ;ha; universal cooperation which
tho usefulness o, tho organization de-
mands. Tho time will soon arrive when
bee, growers will feel gras, need for
tho services which this association can
render them. ard they oagh; TO join and
make Il very strong for tho most si,ie'Vn;
I WORK
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-02-27
Municipal Con, cntious.

A caucus r~iIl be he'd in tho FRS,
Ward Wednesday evening. March 4;h. a;
tho homo Of E. c. Allen. corner s,h and
Elm. TO nominate t~o candidates for
aldermen on tho Business Mems ticket.
and 10 nsno committeeman for tho
coming year.
The Second Ward convention will bo
hold Wednesday evening. March 9Th. in
tho council chamber.
Friday evening. March 9Th. a eonsen-
ion will DO held in the Business Mems
Club room 70 nominate all candidates for
tho April election which have no, been
selected by tho ward conventions.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-02-27
ROOSEVELT AND COLORADO.
Characteristics Common to Our Strenuous President
' and the Great Centennial State

that he can preserve without the aid of
refrigeration.
In fact. he could not have been more
satisfactory as man II he had been
born and bred right here in Colorado.
Colorado may have made mistakes. but
she never gets "buck'fever" in the pres
ence OF responsibility.
In Colorado man may belong to the
upper circles Of society. wear a dress
suit at dinner. and appear on the streets
the next day in eorduroys and Dutch
socks without losing the respect Of the
community.
He may wear golf stockings and single
barreled eyeglasses. or he may wear a
thirteen-dollar suit and shapeless SLOUGH
hat without in any way iniuring his in
tellectual or social standing. providing he
appears in proper attire al social and
public functions.
Many well-meaning people in the cas-,
think We OF Colorado are coarse. unodu-
Gated and rufiianly. because We do no,
all wear hafd-boiled hats.
In Colorado Il does no, ar upon the
nerves Of millionaire TO have an ordi-
nary person speak to. him. Here the
millionaire and tho mechanic can enjoy a
friendly chat without iniuring tho dignity
Of either
Tho Coloradoan can speak to million
aire eiyily wi;hou, becoming millionaire.
He can also speak eiyily 20 a negro with
out becoming an African.
In all these and many other things the
presiden, and Colorado arc very much
alike. They understand each other. and
they arc naturally gros, friends.
Admiring each other. ,hoy arc in posi-
ton TO be Of much mutual benefit
Le, him SEQ how big and broad and
glorious our state really "a. He thinks ho
knows now. bu, no mortal man can
really appreciate |, until he secs 4,
We need no, hesitate because Of tho
} snow and tho railway Gazing house. He
is used To danger.
Whatever Is done. the FIRST thing should
bc tho formation o! vigilance committee
10 pfo;ae, him from tho deadly chow and
orasnry Of tho aereo banaus,sor.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-02-27

President Roosevelt is to visit Colorado
N a few months. Ammi Pet,igrew. the
witty and breezy special correspondent
Of the Colorado Springs Telegraph, enters
plea for otsr' distinguished visitor-tha'
he be allowed to see more Of the state
and not be bored with banquets and
formal speeches.
The following extracts will give a good
idea OF Mr. Pettigrew's style and his ap-
probation OF the president and Colorado:
But we must remember that the presi-
dent Is not a famine sufferer.
He comes TO Colorado for recreation
not for food.
He comes to got away from tho cares
and yietuals Of state,
Il does not signify because a man il
president Of the United States that his
yi,als never yearn for tho succulent flap
jaes. the pale pink Juicy ham. and the
smokeless powder wind biscuit Of the
hunters cabin.
He knows from his former experience
that we arc thoroughly capable Of pro-
yiding swell. up-;o-da;e entertainment
for those wo admire.
Therefore. rather 10, him enjoy the
free. opan-handed. un,inseled hospitality
which. hand in hand with Rocky Ford
ean,aloupe. has made US famous.
Pfesiden, Roosevelt and Colorado have
many things in common
Colorado is young; Il Is also big and
strong and full Of ginger.
So Is tho president
He does no, live in a perpetual air ol
frost
He does no; suffer from tho elammy
hand and tho iaf-away look ihs; attacks
some statesmen when an ordinary indi-
sidual Is Introduced To them.
On tho contrary. he administers a firm.
friendly grasp Of tho hand. and u tho
stranger Is no, close enough ha will draw
him up closer. so ho can look him s;raigh,
in tho eye and SEQ wha; sor; Of rooster
he Is.
Nature has been kind TO him. He is
provided with an easy. natural dignity
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-02-27

Tho Garden Of tho Gods magazine Of
Colorado Springs is to have its seopa en-
larged and its name changed to the
Frontier Monthly. During tho short time
!; has run Il has won a prominent place
among the many magazines Of tho day.
I, is tho only magazine published in Colo
rado and is devoted TO limo Of literature
peculiar TO the west and tho Rocky
mountain region. |; is decidedly Colo
radoesaue periodical ard worthy Of a
mos, generous support. Tho editor. John
T. Burns. was in the valley last week
pushing the circulation Of tho magazine
and had good success. We shall next
week have an importan; announcement
to make in regard to a combination offer
Of the Enterprise and tho Frontier
Monthly.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1903-02-27
The Grand Opera House Under New
management.

At the recent annual meeting the Rocky
Ford Opera House Company elected the
following directors:
Warren Mayo. Geo. Coffman. r. NJ.
Pollock. r. c. Maltby, H, VanBuskirk, G.
C. Lackey. A. Nicholes. Sol T. Wolfe. W.
D. Mcpherson. F. W. Cheek. |. Denness,
G. A. Jones. A. H. Griswold.
The directors organized by the election
Of the following officers:
President Warren Mayo.
Vice President Nieholes.
Secretay-Sol T. Wolfe.
Treasurer VanBuskirk.
DR.. n. G. Sigman was elected general
manager. A. Nichols will have charge
of the house and stage and Sol T. Wolfe
will attend to the sale Of tickets in the
box Office.