Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-11-07
XXI.

The paper of this book is coming to an
end and second one shall not be begun.
Things had so shaped themselves at last
that l could dare to think of making the
Countess Thyra my wife and of elevating
her to queen by my new law.
Living in uttermost seclusion, Thyra had
still succeeded in becoming a power in the
state, power of the more certain and
complete influence on account of it's sec
recy. She even forced my cabinet to reckon
with her. | knew that she received this
and that one of my ministers and the fore
most of my councillors, that she was pre-
pairing great coup for me, and that her
influence extended far beyond me- And /
knew that she lived in the firm belief that
she was the only mover, guide and pos
SCISSOR of the mystic power that had torn
me out of the night of brooding, The curse
of my house.
Deceived by Inc seriousness of her
growing power she, otherwise so moderate
so wise. came to misuse it. 1t robbed her
of throne, and it made of me that which
! am today.
l had never spoken to single person on
earth about my kings test. when l hung
all night long over the abyss in the storm
Not even to Thyra had l breathed it l
had not even spoken of it to her brother
who found me senSeleSS at sunrise on the
edge of the chasm.
BUT, angered one day by positively ele-
rlental outbreak of her imperious nature, 1
was carried away sufficiently to tell her of
the symbolical event of that night And
told her that l had to thank her power for
great things, but that the greatest had come
to me through my own might, that had
sustained me over the gulf.
She listened to me. looked at me smil-
mgly and said calmly:
My poor friend. you dreamed that long
night You chung to the rock five minutes
m a mo In1t
i imagine that you hung there through a
whole night? 1t would have been some
thing superhuman."
| heard her say the murderous words
with her clear. cold voice. and at once 1t
seemed to me if my soul were illurni-
mated with celestial radiance. Shot
through by the light, l recognized the
starless black night that had covered nv
spirit until that moment l knew my error
my deluSion.
1t would have been 'superhuman'' had
l hung over the abyss all night long. Five
minutes-at most five minutes. After these
my power was gone. Had my adjutant not
come, my arms would have loosened even
in the sixth minute, and / would have fallen
like any other earthly man. like any other
weak man-into the abyss and been de-
stroyed.
Only five minutes.
And L had thought to hear a voice of
heaven. telling me my wonderful destiny; |
had thought it to be the kings test that
called me to throne; delusion had
given me my faith in myself.
Suddenly | remembered the words that
had heard then. as 1 was recovering CON
seriousness. They, too, spoke of a few min
uteS.''
1t was day within me, glaring, pitiless
day.
! I did not betray myself with n word 7
think that my mien showed nothing either.
at least, / noticed no change in the face Of
| the countess. With tremendous calmness
| l was able to reply, that no doubt it had
i been only five minutes-fiye minutes ~
/ most; l was able to smile at my mistake
L was able TO jest about il with her
| remained Tor Il considerable length of
| Tune, SPOKE OF this and of that, all com
| monplace things, and then arose to denart
| knowing that l would never return. and
| said farewell to the woman of my passion
| Knowing that il was a farewell forever.
| All this saw as clearly by the great light
| III my soul as saw her, in the pride of her
| beauty. standing before me and ALREADY
! feellng the crown on her head
| linen went and did not look back
! l ordered the carriage to drive ahead and
| went my way alone.
/ II was n glorious summer night. the sl,v
! iull OF stars and the earth full of blossom,
| and odor. In the thickets by the sides
i of the walks the nightingales sang. and
| star showers fell as if it rained fire Within
| me all was so quiet that | inhaled The odor
! with delight and listened with happiness
| to the love songs of the birds
| Slowly walking along, / thought back
| over my whole life. And l thought of tba
conversation in the arbor the Alpine
| farm. to which 1 had listened. hearine
| the strong, clear voice of Miss Fritz saw
| again: But your prince is good" and the
| answer of the friend: He is good still
| Yes, and then 1 heard myself yowins
| to be good and to remain good
Another picture: My father. the sick
| king was to visit the Sea-Alp. The priyy
| councillor came, prepared me for the arr
| rival of the king, told me of his malady.
! which was the malady of our whole race
with the exception of one. This one, how
ever. was not l.
And again / saw the glance Of the great
| physician upon me. that piercing all-pene-
tratng, all-knowing glance. 1t was bent
upon me full of sorrow, full of-pity. |
hated the man on account of his pity
Another picture: My father called me his
true son. my mad fatheri
Another picture: My mother embrace d
me with both arms, pressed my head to
her bosom and wept over me,
Then the time of temptations. battles,
evil wishes, jealousy, envy, the lust for the
demoniac golden CLEAN of the crown. The