davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16
PITH AND POINT.

The next time you complain of being
overworked, think of the time you
waste.-Atchison Globe.
Hes publishing a paper now, l
hear" Eyes; it's the official organ of
the dental profession" "Ah! sort of a
mouth-organ, eh?" Philadelphia
Press.
The Critics.-Ida-"They say it was
a case of love at first sight with him.
May-"What a pity he wasn't a medium
and could have taken a second sight!'
Chicago Daily News.
Adolphus (penitently)-"So sorry
dearest, that / was angry with yor
yesterday evening, and lost my tenn
per-" O~livia-"Pray don't mention it
Dolly. 1t wasn't a very good one, ano
I'm sure you can easily find a better
Punch.
His Apology.-Bill--"Do you know
you w me $1O?" Jill-"O, yes, l re
member, l borrowed it a month ago.
That's what you did" 81 owe you al
dpoloSy' l. shoulu soy "" Mn
"Here's rs cents whats that for?'
"That's an apology for SION. Y
Telegram.
Burton-"What sort of a man il
Bjohnson, anyway" Barton-"Well
Bjohnson is the sort of man who, /:
he should come to your house on
visit and see that your parlor clocl
was slow, would calmly compare i
with his watch and set it eXactl.
right."-Somerville ((NIass.) Journal
Very Obliging.-Silas Hopkins (il
the city)-"Mandy, these here city fel
lers is mighty kind and polite" Mand,
Hopkins-"How do you know, Silas?
Silas Hopkins-"l wanted ter git
fifty dollar bill changed en- a nic'
young Teller said he'd get it for me
and he's goin' ter bring ther chang
to Their otel."-Detroit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16
The Age of Oysters.

A wholesale oyster dealer vas siz-
ing up a new invoice the other day.
"There are some old fellows in that
lot" he said, as he showed to one side
some abnormally large ones. He picked
out n and measured it. The shell
was eight inches long. ''The age of an
oyster has absolutely no effect upon
it's quality" he said. at doesn't get
tough with age, like the higher or
der of animals. How long does an oys-
ter live? Well, I couldn't say exactly,
| have known Maurice river oystermen
to claim that IN oyster undisturbed in
a neglected cove would live for 25 years
before it finally died of old age.
And an oyster of the Maurice river
type keeps. on growing all the time. ]
have seen some myself that measured
nearly a foot in length."-Philadel'
phia Record.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16

bines that are sold at a high price in
this country and a lower price in for
eign countries shall no longer be pro-
tected. The present duties on trust
productions range from 30 to 100 per
cent. thus allowing the trusts to add
that much to the price they charge here
for their products. If this tarlft was
taken off, the trusts would have to re-
duce the price of their products to
what foreign competitors ccald export
the same class of goods after paying
the freight, and the profits that those
who handle the goods would charge.
Take barbed wire, which sells in
Pittsburg for $3.50 per 100 pounds, is
sold in Liverpool for $1.S6 per 10C
pounds, a difference of 40 per cent,
and this is just about what the duty
amounts to. The price of barbed wire
in Iowa or in other states is the price
quoted with freight and profits ad12d,
The paper trust has a monopoly OF
print paper, and is also sheltered by the
protective tariff, the Democrats would
place that necessary article on the free
list. and thus allow competition tc
come in and reduce the high price that
the trust has been charging the news
paper proprietors. The list of trusts
which are so protected exceeds 100, ant
If Secretary Shaw favors the people
and not the corporations. he mus
openly espouse the cause of the tariff
reformers.
Those who do not care, or are toe
partisan to be willing. like Secretary
Shaw. to take the advice of democrats
on the tariff and trust issues, can OBJ
tain similar information from a mum,
Der of republican leaders whose eyes
have been opened to the shelter the
trusts have been vouchsafed by the pro
t~ective tariff. The chairman of TIL
republican congressional committee
Mr.. Babcock, has made a number o
statements that answer Secretar,
Shaw's inquiries, and there is no doub'
he will send such as he has had printed
to any inquirer who will take thu
trouble to write to him. Senator Dolli
yer. Gov. Cummins and Comptrollel
Roberts are on record in favor of re
vision, though still declaring for til,
principle of protection. Senator Dolli
yer, in a speech in the senate, said tina
some of the tariff schedules were in
tentionally made too high, yet the re
publicans refused to ratify eve tn
slight reductions that the r%eciprocit,
treaties called for.
No one claims that a revision of tn
tariff will entirely obliteratetrust ex
actions, but the democrats and man.
republicans are convinced that the tar
if adds greatly to the price that tn
trusts charge for many of their prod
nets, and that the old claim that infan
industries need protection to builc
them up has long become obsolete b.
the formatios Of those giant corpora
tions that are called trusts.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16
Raptismal Fonts Were Dry.

Some curious results of the devas-
tating Australian drought have been
witnessed on the Ballarat gold field.
The quantity of water in the local res
ervoirs sank so low that the authori-
ties had to conserve it to the utmost
and give the city only an intermittent
supply. In the principal Baptist
church a ceremony had to be aban-
doned, a sufficient supply of waterfor
baptismal immersion not being avail.
able. Next to this Baptist church is
the Catholic cathedral, and there the
organ was unplayable for three Sun
days, the motive power of it's bellows
having been withdrawn. One of the
local water commissioners is credited
with the statement that as long as the
drought lasted he would not sanction
a supply of water to organs even at
the rate of a pound a gallon.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16
LEAPS INTO THE PEERAGE.
Tricks Played by the Law of Success
sion Bring Titles Never
Expected.

To retire at night just an ordinary
citizen, a poor man, and to rise in
the morning with a noble title or two
and perhaps vast acres, with castles
and wealth, is an experience posi-
BILE only to a British subject. The
law of succession regarding the no.
bility sometimes plays strange tricks
of this kind, no. only in fiction but
in real life, says the Chicago Tribune,
Unexpected leaps from o~bscurity
to the perage, from poverty to great
wealth, are not uncommon in Eng
land. Many such instances have
been recorded in recent years, the
elevations in some cases going to
persons who did not even know they
were in the line of succession for a
title.
The present duke of Hamilton, by
a sequence of accidents, found him
self transformed seven years ago
from an unknown lieutenant to the
premier peership of Scotland, with
three ducal titles and as many mar
quisates, to say nothing of earldoms
and baronies sufficient to equip half
a dozen average peers.
How slight was the prospect of
Lieut.. Alfred Douglas-Hamilton ever
succeeding to the family honors may
be gathered from the fact that, al
though he is the thirteenth duke of
Hamilton, he derives his descent
from a third son of the fourth duke.
who was born in the faraway seven
tenth century, and that ali his in
termediate ancestors were younger
sons. How many lives might in the
ordinary course have come between
the young lieutenant and the duke
dom it is impossible to estimate; but,
as it was said in sporting parlance
at the time of his accession, the odds
were thousands to one against his
ever wearing the strawberry leaves.
BY a similar series of accidents the
present duke of Portland succeeded
to the title and wealth of the Ben
tincks. The son of a third son, who
in turn was a third son of the third
duke, there seemed as much chance
of the young subaltern of the guards
ever being the head of his family as
of his becoming emperor of China
| The fourth duke alone had four sons,
all of whom were considerate enough
not to marry; and the third duke
was also blessed with four sons, who
were sufficiently amiable to make the
way clear for the lucky young sol
der.
When Master William Grey first
opened his eyes in Newfoundland sc
years ago his prospects of a coronet
would have been considered dear al
half q crown, for his father was but
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16

In August, 1861, the navy department at Washington advertised for plans
and offers for the construction of ironclad steam batteries. Among those
answering this advertisement wa Capt. John Ericsson, who proposed to
bald the vessel afterwards named the Monitor" The keel for the vessel
was laid in a Brooklyn shipyard in October of the same year and she was
launched IN January 80, 1862. She va turned over to the government on
February 25 and nine days later left for Hampton Roads to dispute the
question of supremacy with the formidable "Merrimac," which had on March
s destroyed the greater part of the union fleet at that point. The novel
rraft arrived at Hampton Roads on the night of March 8 and the following
morning engaged the "Mer1imac" in a sea battle that changed the naval ar
chitecture of the world, and disPeled the hopes of the confederates.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16
Secretary Shaw signed last Nc

Secretary Shaw signed last Mon
day a warrant for So, 000, 900 for the
treasurer of the Philippine islands to
cover the relief appropriation. The
Philippines continue to prove quite an
expensive luxury. They have already
cost this country over $4o0, DOC, 900,
which is probably more than the gross
value of all the trade they will bring us
in 100 years.-Atlanta Constitution.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16

The president reiterates his
declaration that the trust should be
properly regulated, but he uses a more
hopeful tone than most Of us are able
to assume. This, however, may be a
mere matter Of temperament.-Indian-
apolis News Qnd.).
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16
Her Only

Hell always Judge other men by
myself.
She-But isn't that rather severe
on the other men?-Chicago Daily
News,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16
President Roosevelt !

President Roosevelt is siren
uous, but not consistent. Or rather he
Is consistent all the time in his real,
though not his pretended purposes.
He is looking out for Number One, and
letting neither consistency nor princi-
pie stand in the way of delegate-get-
tinQ.-Albany Argus.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16
Feminine Point of view.

He--So Tom and Jack both pro.
posed to her. Which was the lucky
one.
She-Jack, I imagine. She married
Tom.--ChicaGo Daily News.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16
The Great Trouble.

The trouble with these observing
people is, they are liable to talk about
their Observation-Disclosures Globe.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16
what Your Head Is For.

Let your head be a workroom rather
than a storerooba. - Chicago Journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1903-04-16

next few nights, which made all the
boats late, so that on the day his
father and brother were expected,
Harry announced that he did not in
tend to waste all his afternoon wait
ing on the wharf. They were down
there when he said it, and Eunice in
stantly replied that she was sure his
father would be much disappointed
If Harry did not meet him. She was
the more emphatic, as she knew the
alternative was taking Mademoiselle
Colette padding, and she might have
prevailed if just then Mademoiselle
had not sighed a patient little sigh.
The truth was, the young lady was
somewhat bored, there being nothing
to do except watch the gradual un-
covering of the barnacles on the rot
ten old piles as the tide sank.
Harry no sooner heard that pa
thetic sound than he dropped his
canoe into the water and begged
Mademoiselle Colette to come. As
the graceful birch thing wan away
he called over his shoulder that they
were going out to Sheep Rock, which
completed Eunice's evaporation, as
that was a very dangerous place to
paddle at all times, owing to swift,
uncertain currents and The risk OF
squalls, and particularly so just now,
when for several days everything had
prophesied a storm.
Indeed, by the time the fussy, small
steamboat finally arrived, great
greenish gray clouds were tumbling
over each other to cover up the sun,
and when Eunice, having hurried
home her husband and his father
was telling the story Of Mademoiselle
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24
(,HAS. |. PROVOST
Real Estate Agent.

For sale on easy terms, a first class
plantation of $50 acres. Situated in Petite
Ause, about 4 miles South Of New Iberia,
Good large residence on place, also two
smaller honses in good condition. Terms
$4,000 Cash. Balance 10 years j desired.
Baru 32x4O, 9 chicken houses SxS, Pota-
toes houses carriage houses, so Pecan
trees. % bearings; Pear trees, Fig trees,
Peach trees.
one Lot on Ccnt9r st. next to Joe Platz-
meyer,
81 feet on Center ST by 400 in depth,
alley in rear suitable for two lots,
3 Lots near Race track being lots in
block, 50x150 each
Farm fronting Bayou Teche contain
ing GO arpents at $50 an arpent, suitable
for cane, or rice, some impr lvements, two
miles below Olivier.
Farm with good honse. well suited fol
cane X mile from derrick containing at
arpents. in first class condition at 1872 y
an arpent.
A 7 acre tract of land one mile south Of
New Iberia with house and rooms
Good stable and fences. For sale cheap
CHAS. l.. PROVOST,
Court House, New iberia
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24
DISHONESTY IN CITY AFFAIRS.

Ii city affairs are honestly man
aged there is 40 particular advant
age for any citizen over the other
citizens. If there is an era Of sell
ing privileges active men who are
not too scrnpnlous see chance to
make good deal. They have the
gamblers excitement and u mnch
better chance of winning than is
offered IN ordinary gambling,
The public good counts for nothing
in comparison, even with some
men who in other respects are re
pntahle and even prominent aud
esteemed in their ordinary affairs.
CONN., Times.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24

coroner. The lid bursted and ex-
posed to view what do you thing it
was, boys?
A nine foot niger, of coulse.
Pshaw! An alligator, boys said he.
An alligator?
Yes boys, al alligator The coro-
ner seemed at first dazed and unable
to realize the situation; but when he
recovered from the shock, the blood
rushed to his face, his lips whitened
and quivered, his eyes looked dag gers
he Numbered out: where is the
man that came for me this morning !?
But the stranger was not to be found !;
he had vamoused
The sheriff seemed to enjoy the de
nouement. l knew, said he, that
nothing would pan out of all this.
Some one has been funny at our ex-
pense, said the coroner-and squirting
his horse, he galloped away laugh
ing, followed by his deputies who
laughed likewise.
A deuce of farce it was for the
coroner who had travelled ten miles to
hold an inquest over that dead alliga-
tor.
We all looked as solemn as owls
at noon. No one dared to smile or to
open his monuth and we slipped away
on tiptoe, as the irate coroner, launch
ing his horse at a furious speed,
cracked his whip, cursing as loud and
as profanely as the next gentleman
hOodlum.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24
Continued from page one.
that we all stood at distance with

that we all stood at distance with
our handkerchief to our noses.
The quiet of the surroundings added
to the impressioness Of the scene.
We were in the forest, and the silence
was so profound, that we could hear
the very beatings Of our hearts.
The coroner organized his jury.
He then pulled off his coat, and rolled
MP his sleeves to do the work in a
business way, and we stood by wit.
Messing what was going on without
over once opening our lips. He pro-
cceeded mt once to open the coffin,
with chisel and hatchetl on the chisel
and that bang and the succeeding
bangs of the hatchet resounded in our
hearts like the nell of funeral bell.
The lid of the coffin gave way by
degrees and through the opening,
something could be seen that was as
black as ink The coroner stepped
back, almost suffocated by the stencil.
It's nothing but niger, said he.
Jeewillikins nine foot niger ex
claimed one of the spectators.
Was he that tall rs fact? uncle
Ben.
Say now boys, do you imagine that
I had tape line in my pocket to
measure it? II you keep on doubling
my word, I'll stop right here.
No one said word and uncle Ben
proceeded with his narrative.
A ,rrvrhar xUac noVU ucnd nv tho
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24
Dieting Invites Disease.

TO cure Dyspepsia or indigestion it is
no longer necessary to live on milk and
toast. Starvation produces such weak
ness that the whole system becomes an
easy prey TO disease. Kodol Dyspepsia
Cure enables the stomach and disgestive
organs to digest and assimilate all of the
wholesome food that one cares to eat, and
is never failing cure for Indigestion,
Dyspepsia and all stomach troubles. ko-
dol digests what you eat-makes the
stomach sweet. Sold by John II. Tay lor.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24

Superior, Wis, Oct 2l-When
the Superior Po&toffice was opened
this morning the vault was found
to have been rifled of practically
the entire supply of stamps,
amounting to between $15, 900 and
$l5, 500 About 500 in fractional
silver was also secured The vault
was forced without the use of ex-
plosives. The safe, located in the
Postmaster's private Office, aud
containing a large amount in eur
rency, was not molested.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24
KodoI Dyspepsia Cure
Diuests what you eat

Republican Secretary of the
Treasury Shaw, does not care any
more for law Of Congress, than he
does if it was an edict Of the Dowa-
ger Empress Of China. He loans
the surplus money in the treasury
to certain banks without interest,
and the collateral accepted in some
intances is clearly in opposition to
the National Banking laws.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24
The SaIye that Heals

without leaving u scar is DeWitt's. The
name Witch Hazel is applied to man,
salves, but eWitt's Witch Hazel Salvt
is the only Witch Hazel Salve made thai
contains the pure unadulterated witel
hazel. If any other Witch Hazel Salve i
offered YOU it is a counterfeit. L. G. De
Witt invented Witch Haze! Salve am
DeWitts Witch Hazel Salve ia the bes
salve in the wotld for cuts. burns, bruises
letter. or blind, bleeding, itching and pro
t.uding piles. Sold by John X. 1aNinr-
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24
A Cure for DYspensia.

had Dyspepsia in its worst form and
felt miserable most all the time. Did
not ouioy eating until after used kodol
Dyspepsia Cure which has completely
cured me.-Mrs. w. w SAVIOR, billiard,
Pa. No appetite, loss Of strength, ner-
vouspess, headache, constipation bad
breath sour risiugs, Indigestion. dyspepsia
and all stomach troubles are quickly cured
by the use Of Kodol. kodol represents the
natural juices of digestion combined with
the greatest known tonic and reconstruc-
tive properties. Il eleanses, pnrifes and
sweeteus the stomach. Sold by John K.
TaYior.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24

France has spent $40, 00o. 900 on
waterways in the last twenty five
years. Canada has spent more than
500. coo, 600 on its canals and the
United States is trying TO spend $l90,
oe0. 600 on a ditch III another country.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24
Broke Into his House.

S. LIE Quinn Of Cavendish, w.,
was robbed of his customary health
by invasion of Chronic Consti pa
ton. When DR.. Kings New
Life Pills broke into his house,
his trouble was arrested and
now he's entirely cured. They re
guarsnteed to cure, zoe. at Estorge
Drug Store.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24
4 TEXAS WONDER.
i-.aEl's Great Discovery.

III y Ut = l7 ." - = " ,
One small bottle of Halls great dis
eayery cures all kidney and bladder
troubles, removes gravel, cures diabetes,
seminal emissions, weak aud lame backs,
rhem8tisla aud all Irregularities Of the
hdutys aud bladder in both men and
wouen, regulates bladder troubles i'll child
rem. II not sold by your druggist will be
sent by mail on receipt of 81. One small
bottle Is Two months treatment, and will
cure any case above mentioned. Dr.. E.
w. Hall. sole manufacturer, P. . Box
629, St Louis, Mo. Send for testimonials.
Sold by druggists, and Est9rge Drug Go,
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24

1t has been suggested that, in
view Of recent developments in
ionic Investigations, all matter may
be composed Of a single mother
substance protyle. : This protyle
is supposed to be manufactured
by destructive processes from con-
crete matter in the Crookes tube.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24
50 @-%~-

The reason why SO many people are
dog poor is their inability to realize
their poverty, Don't try to put on
airs because your rich neighbor does.
II will only make him feel sorry for
YOU. Lake Charles Press.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24

With 1856 pounds Of snaicless
powder the new forty -callihcr,
twelvc-inch gun will send an $50
pound armor-pierclng shell throngh
nineteen and five-tenths inches ot
Harvey,zed nickel stee! at "A dis
ta,ice of mile and half.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24
Lot for Sale on Easy Terms.

Lot situated on Weeks Street sixty feet
front by one hundred feet in depth well
drained. Price 100000, $4,000 cash and
balance payable in l, 2, ), 4, aud 5 years
with - interest. For further particulars,
apply to CHAS. l.. PROVOST
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24
JAKE IMMERGLUCK, & CO.,
Corner Main and Swain Street.
Treasury Department. Office Of Comp
trnIar of the Currency.
No GS59

No. GSJS.
Washington -. G.. June eth, 1908.
Whereas, by satisfactory EVIDENCE pre-
scented to the undersigned, it has been
made to appear that the State National
Bank of New Iberia located in the City of
New Iberia in the parish of Iberia and
State of Louisiana. has complied all the
provisions of the Statutes of the United
States. required to be complied with be-
fore an association shall be authorized to
commence the business of banking. Now,
therefore, | William B. Ridgeley, Comp
trolor Of the Currency, do hereby certify
that "The State National Bank" of New
Iberia located in the City of New Iberia,
in the Parish Of Iberia and State OF Louisl-
ana, is authorized to commence the business
of Banking as provided in Section Fifty
one hundred aud Sixty-niue of the Revised
Statutes of the Uuited States
In testimony whereof witness my hand
and senl of office this Twenty seventh day
of June 1903. w. ID. RlDGELf,
Comptroller of the Currency.
New Iberia enterprise and independent observer. (New Iberia, La.) 1902-1944, 1903-10-24

That is surely a remarkable story,
said we. What was your idea at the
time of that whole business. Uncle
Bon?
Well boys, answered uncle Ben,
NV idea of this business. at the time
was that, as al inquest, he whole
thing was tiGzle.
\ ENICKERBOCKE