The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1903-11-04

and cheating and Dragging and funny
liar are all types of lesser but inevi
table crosses in our every day lives and
their example, more or less, pernicious
but what can we do with them, and,
indeed, who the dickens and Thos. P.
Walker are we any way?
Now we do enter our solemn and
earnest protest against the bald in
sinuation of Begood that 'there is
no excuse whatever for single man
to lie," while in the self-same para
graph claims that a married mans
preyarications and equivocations are
justified or extenuated by the very fact
that he has blessed wife to deceive,
and with SNUG self complacency sub
mits "that there is not married man
living who can place his hand on his
heart and say he never told lie-to his
wife, In that submission we do
verify believe he stumbled on one real
truth and told it-inadvertently, and
after such delivery we do hope is
getting on as well as can be expected.
Why the married man has just half
the excuse for lying that the single
man has, because for why he need do
but half the lying unless he's just
naturally fond of it and takes the
whole job while he shirks all other
jobs of patching which his wife has
to do, while the poor lone, disconsolate
widower or bachelor has the whole job
of lying and patching 'em to fit, as
we'll as to do other kinds of patching
for his own desolate self. No, no,
begod, that won't work, Begood. You
need practice in the subterfuge branch
of the business, study up some on
evasion and shifting You manifest
signs of right smart underdeyeloped
talent that way. Now spos'n your'ns
should undertake this truth crusade
suggested above and you saw US COM
ing into town and We heard you re-
mark "There's that ornary looking
old cuss again; wonder if he's just
contracted habit of living on, blamed
if the old fool amt mounted a wheel
and MARBLES along tollerble we'll, too. ;"
Well this might be all truth, but what
would happen? Then spose'n we
should remark ''there's that fellow
who goes to church each Sunday and
says he humbly confesses that he has
erred and strayed like a lost sheep
and is a miserable offender ct Get
and so4th and we'd tell you it's all
true and there's no health in you but
a sight of hypocrisy and deceit? Well
it's all truth amt it? But what
would happen? Let's undertake job
little higher our weight'n size. Both
of you have had your little cast at us.
Hagood says the most contemplate
thing x x x sis professional liar,
especially if he is an old man," then
proceeds to repeat an antique tale
of a rain and barrel. Thunderation,
where's the story of the flood? Don't he
believe that? Then Begood says,
"there's no excuse whatever for a
single man to lie.' That's sweeping.
Well, if he didn't do it before he was
married, his own admission would in
dicate that be took to it mighty nat
ural since. Now we are an cold man, :"
"a hoary head" and we're also a
"single man" and shall forthwith
proceed to have repaired a weep'n 20
lbs in length and inches in weight,
of the Luger Magazine pattern, ac-
cord'n to statute, and if either you
dare to wiggle your thumb, or dip
your hand in your overcoat pocket, or
goo goo your eye at me, or oblique the
slightest, we shall murder you in self
defense, and swear Hits lie.
Nogood.
Wee Nee, Nov. 2, 1903.