Columbia courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1902-1905, 1903-05-15
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81 r. /K

h m for SlA HIohsA7'
comiug."--stray Stories. l..
ph,losophic Murphy (recovering from
.wonty-foot fall)- we'll, l had to
MO down for nails. anyway
Glasgow Evening Times
neacou Johnson-"N nat 20 doin
low Abe?" Abe Hardcase-"Cleanin
aut a bank" Deacon Johnson-"Pres.
,dent, cashier, bookkeeper' or )anitor'
-Ieslie's Weekly.
81 think l have met you before.
Aren't you timekeeper for the bloss
. coss Company" mo. sir. l am
anger of topical songs and know moth
inc at all about keeping tme."-kan-
sas City Journal.
Farmer Hayditch ito his ueighbor,
FARMER Turniptop)-"Hallo! Going In
,or barbedwlre fencing, Ell? Isn't 1t
rather dear" Turniptop-"ies, but
then YOU see my men don't waste time
.,tt,np on it"-Pick-Me-Up.
enron me a line" cried the excur-
.,onist who had fallen overheard.
"What's the use?" calmly rejoined the
alleged funny man Of the party.
"Tbere isn't any postoffice where you
are going."-American Hebrew.
The senate-"How long can you talk
without dropping dead In your
tracksY Senator Morgan-"That IL
mot the question. How long can you
rsten to me without dropping dead
in your tracksT-New York Evening
Post
: look at the way baby's working
h,s mouth" exclaimed Mrs. Newman.
"Now, he proposes to put his foot in
H." HIN" replied her husband.
rrumpily. Hereditary. That's what
i did when l proposed. "-Philadelphia
Press.
How they spend their time: She
"How's the motor-car getting on, Sir
Cbarlesr' He-"Well. fact Is. I've
seen very little of 1t. You see, I've
only had It three months, and when
it Isn't in hospital. am"-Londc1
Punch.
Worked Both Ways: Jaggles-Are
they good divorce lawyersT Waggles
BEST in the business. They've origi-
mated over hundred different ways
Of collecting alimony, and as many
more for evading the payment of It,"
Judge. -
Effective: Bjenks-"Do you bellows
In the possibility Of the cure of disease
by SUGGESTION" Bjinks-"Why, GER
talnly. was feeling pretty sick last
week, and my wife suggested l go to
doctor and it cured me'rlght away"
-Somerville Journal.
Doct-. makes no mistakes: Patient
:-"Bul, doctor, only last week you ga id
would surely die, and to-day you see
! am as well as l ever was Doctor
al, -"Sir. never make mistake in a
diagnosis. Your ultimate demise Is
only matter of time. "-Chlcago News.
Maud-"I feel so sorry for poor Lii
lian. She and Reggie had 1t all plan
ned to elope, and now they have to give
1t up" Jack-"What Is the troubles"
Maud-"She can't persuade her stingy
old papa to give them the money to
carry IT. out."-Kansas City Journal.
Physician-The truth can no longer
be hidden. madam. l am Obliged to
tell. You that your little son is-er-
weak-mlnded. That ls-well. 1t must
be said-he Is an idiot. Mrs. Hlghupp
How fortunate 1t fs that we are rich.
No one will ever notice it.-New York
Weekly.
stranger-"Have you a good catarrn
p sureT ,DruggIst-"Yes, sir; ! have ths
very thing you want" Stranger
Can you recommend it," Druggist
Sure II have catarrh myself, and
i've used nothing but this preparation
,or nearly twenty years" -Chicago
Daily News. d..
Admirer-"Don't you think that you
are rather unreasonable to expect me
70 take YOU to ball. stay awake until
iour o'clock. and then get up Mt eight
10 go to my work?" Young lady.
Il may be a little unreasonable, but
hs perfectly brutal Of you to mention
H'-New York Weekly.
I'm getting, painfully careless, my
uear' I've Just found portrait of
ueorge Washington in my coat pocket
mat has been there for the last ten
Ways" well, don't see anything
serious about that" Don't you, my
uear I'm glad to hear 1t. You see.
Me portrait Is part Of the stamp on
wa. ietter you gave ME to mail last
"eek'"-Cleveland Plain, Dealer.
.,. good wife Is heavens greatest
sn. 10 man and the rarest gem the
~ hoids, remarked Mr.. Jarphly
The other mnrni.... IL ''.