New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-08-14
A RETINUE OF HUSBANDS.
Such a Condition of Affairs Discussed at a
Piazza Conference.

PlazZa conference.
What one really needs for happiness" said the
New-York woman, she adjusted her rocking
chair into circle Of occupied piazza rockers rs
retinue of husbands
Mercy on usr' exclaimed the Philadelphia
woman. What would she do with them?"
We'll, she wants a summer resort husband
that's one"
I'm not about that" said the Chicago
woman. 1T seems to that of the advan-
tages of summer outing lies in the fact that hus-
bands are left at home"
They are convenient" protested the New-York
woman They do the Kicking and then they
understand how to interpret time tables. When l
say summer resort husband, mean one VINO
wants to go to the place that you do Men
often have such irrational ideas II you want TO
go to the seashore, they to prefer the
mountains. I mean summer resort husband who
is content to escort you about"
What you want is other woman's hus-
band out for a holiday said the widow from
Pittsburg.
mo, want my own husband" replied the New
York woman, and that's the reason why have
decided that retinue the only practical scheme.
should add to my staff commercial husband, a
breakfast husband and society husband. You
can see for yourself that the CONNER cial husband
Is a necessity Some must support you. The
breakfast husband is important. He would be an
aIntable man. who would look cheerful at break
fast, not growl at things, and not read the paper
at the table unless he read aloud some interesting
bit of news"
There might be something in that" said the
woman who married her third husband
Men all alike when it comes to the breakfast
hour"
You can the practical nature of my
idea" said the NewYork woman. Even my So
ciety husband whom have planned would not be
likely to be success at breakfast. He probably
wouldn't want to get up in time for breakfast, or,
having been to the opera the night before. he
would be 'grouchy.' You can't fnd every quality
contributing TO woman's happiness in one man.
long ago made up my mind to that You can
for yourselves that the commercial husband
never be the society husband, nor the breakfast
husband, nor the summer resort husband
is that the extent of your retinue?" asked the
Philadelphia woman. Which husband would be
the preferred one, wonder?'
IF you mean the one that loves YOU" said the
Chicago woman, lit wouldn't be the commercial
husband. for the one that loves you best is
the one who can support you properly
Poor old saves!' said the woman who had
written book on social economics Il don't see
what !!a9os a man ar gets married for anyhow" =,
Certainly, mean it" said the woman who ad-
women treat men? Why. the rank and file OF
,St nov I sLuyS ooh even give man me moral
Look at the summer resorts-how they are crowded
in the not city,! mere are 'i'eiF h0S0aioS Ioiiiis
"Oh, am not so sure Of that" said a woman
who had not spoken before. 1T appears to me
II they We're glad 70 depart l know mine is"
men sad s the so SG 9e #h S al 5 up 42f Thf
used TO see from my kitchen window a poor fellow
actually cook his aI1fast and go to his
work, while his wife lying in bed. OF course
the man is to blame. The very idea Of that lazy
woman letting her husband get his own breakfast!
L used TO wish the case came under the cruelty
animals or the cruelty to children society so
drudges going home on the crowded trains bal
ancng on a strap, and looking so weary and worn
Not in the New-York trains" said the New
YORK woman on, no! You can't make any such
it doesn't hold in New-York. The women do the
balancing and the men do the sitting in our trains
W, IL for man
to say he wanted a retinue Of wives - said the
woman with socialistic ideas and not noticing the
about six in order to make sure that ali the do
m !ff offices We're properly filed"
Philadelphia woman 'o
We'll. I should want a companionabe wife one
with intelligence, who kept posted on the news Of
the day, who knew stocks and chess and politics
Then l should like to have a society wife who
could represent me in the social world. She would
stocks, and the latter would care a fig for
society. should want a wife VINO would know
couldn't hll her office, and neither could she fill
theirs should want wife greet me with
work The woman with the children would be
fretted with them, and could hardly be expected to
/ would have troubles of my own, and naturally
would not want TO hear any eses when I got
with the servants amcably, and never tell ma
about how she does It, Then, want a wife to do
declare that out of her line, the society woman
Wouldnt know how, and the others wouldn't have
You know the men so WELL" said the New-Yorl5
woman. athat should say you had been in charge
II5I5d OF uGlr getting to 1t by slow stages of de-
NeigTpHeht MY, but they are spoiled lot'
boo 1h , are al alike said the woman who had
"A good wife makes a good husband" said the
And every woman smiled knowingly.