The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-11-07

In LIGHTER VEIN
Greetine Id Panama.

Nrselug 20 Eana0a-
Says Uncle sam. shake, old pal!
Step right into my corral.
Ny guest You shaH be,
But YOU must excuse me
Til 4 finish rork on the canal
1t looks as if the much-desired is
sue for next years campaign has ar
rived-Panama.
Census enumerat0rs In Pennsylvania
could save themselves much work and
worry by taking the vote cast by the
automatic Republican machine and
adding fifteen or twenty to il to secure
the total number of citizens of voting
age in that state.
The hacker Of the machine has at
/ least the consolation Of knowing that
some Of the money was expended for
the worthy purpose Of elecung a Dem
ocratic councilman in the person Of
I FernstrOm.
The number of applications for APP
pOintments under the new city admin
istration tends to prove that Knox
got the best of the count.
There is reason to believe that for
mer Congressman Sutherland also vot-
I ed for Morris.
( While the control Of the next city
/ council is i'm doubt. it can be safely
| asserted that neither Sheets nor Hilton
viii control it.
/ Tt is well enough for that Philadel-
/ pbia physician to say pugilists have
small brains, but If he is wise he viii
not say it to their faces.
! Reports from Africa show that the
I natives are killing almost as many
/ German soldiers there as the German
non-commissionedO officers are killing at
< home.
The Cubans may permit President
| Palma's veto Of the lottery to pass
without a riot. but if he values peace
/ he should not monkey with cock fight
/ ing, the other national pastime.
/ The navy officials are not the only
/ people who are worrying about coal
supply these days.
Among others who have lately Joined
the ranks Of those opposed to unions
/ are the members Of the United States
Marine band, the National Federation
Of Musicians having requested the
president to forbid the band to accept
engagements to play for pay.
Unless the Chinese desire to aid in
the accomplishment Of Russia's de-
signs, they win carefully abstain from
a declaration Of war.
The promptuess. not TO say alacrity.
! with which we have said 'Howdyl'' "a
Panama suggests that somebody knew
some days previous that the revolution
was to come off.
As Usual.
He went out with big wad of money.
And remained TIL the rise Of the sun II,
Took in the whole town,
And did it up brown.
But the next day his head felt so funny
If this assimilation business keeps w
pc VIII soon be necessary when speaking
Of an American to say whether he is
White, black, yellow, brown, etc.
The absorption Of Panama will prove
a great hardship to the children of botl
countries. In addition to learning al
ABOUT the Philippines the pupils in what
was the United States up to 1898 viii
nave 70 study up De Lesseps and Other
national heroes of Panama, while the
list Of heroes that the little Panamaite.
.-r-'~ ~ A@eAA III U4A rs Simply aU-
palling.
The Panama hat market is not IikeIN
to be affected unless there should be
strike in the New York hat factories
or a shortage in the hay crop Of tbs
Mississippi valley.
If Apostle Shoots friends claim fol
him that he accomplished the discom
future Of Senator Kearns in Salt Lake
the Kearns people can come back b,
saying Kearns beat Shoots man in
Provo. In both cases the citizens 81
the town win.
After all, it might not be so bad an
Idea to gather Panama in. That would
enable us to drive our little cana
through the isthmus without interna
tional interference.
The attitude Of European nations il
regard TO the Panama trouble leads {,
the belief that they prefer to let sIeep
ing Monroe doctrine lie.
Should any Of the councilmen b.
placed in the new city jail they canno
complain, as they have pronounced il
a desirable place in every particular.
Other Citizens Interested.