The Minneapolis journal., 1903-12-08
THE N0NPAREJL MAN

Granville S. Pease on the Decay of Genu-
Inc Americanism - The Disgusting
! Habit of Requiring Our Cards to Be
j Sent in Before the Merchant Prince or
Railroad President VIII Receive Us
+ Foreign Airs Assumed by the Second
Vice President of the Anoka Junction,
Whanedoode G. Nowhere Line.
Uncle Granville Pease of the Anoka
Union voices general complaint of the
exclusiveness of the celebrated American
'of whom the world desires to borrow 50
till next Saturday night. Mr. Pease says.
When it becomes necessary for me to beard
some big lion In his den--behind. closed doors
and mind you. l steer clear of such visits
whenever | can--alI my native American blood
raises in revolt. I'm sorry to say it is getting
worse from year to year 1t actually takes from
me any desire to meet such personages, and Gre
ates desire to leave them al sie in their glory
The custom of the big guns to hide themselves
in some secluded spot where no one CAN see
them without sending in card, is un-A American
and partakes of exclusiveness not consistent with
my ideas of equality and freedom.
Mr.. Pease is right. When Andrew Jack
son and Colonel Jefferson were on earth
a native American didn't have to send in
a piece of printed pasteboard to get an
audience. He walked right into the White
House, expectorated on the floor. inter-
! rupted the foreign an1ba sSa doris call and
addressed the presidents by their first
names. Now 70 get audience with the
second vice president of the Anoka
| Junction. Whangdoodle & Nowhere line q
man has to salaam twice, knock his head
on the floor of the anteroom and the col
ored servitor with gold plate takes in
his card. Then. more than half Of the
time. you cannot get your pass.
This condition of affairs IS uh-American
J.! and ought not SO to be.
| The Chaska Review accuses Brother
Sjoblom of the Minneapolis Telegram OF
abolishing thjuggery, bjigmittisn and
+. whine r1oons in Minneapolis. We are glad
of it. .. 49,. ~
! Portland. Me-, man had the n1isfor-
tune to lose his mind, but while wander
! ing about. a load of wood fell upon MN,
I thereby restoring his reason. with "ooh
at it's present price, load Oft falling on
our back yard would restore our reason
pretty quick. =
A local member Of the Ants and Crahtts
had made a little thing in wood so md
eously plain that even the higher CRITICISM
:: shied at it. A friend who had been called
IN to rave over it, remarked patronizingly.
..Oh that isn't half bad. YOU know, II YOU
. don't get too strong a, light upon:it
III was q severe strain on friendship.
hunting. shot into what the Chaska Re
view. calls an animate .atomizer. Ihelr
clothes are now sub rosa - -
happv groom drifted into the office
of the Gully, Mimi, Sunbeam to tel the
paper all about it. and found ne had ior-
gotten the name Of the bride. at "hlch
the Gully editor wonders much: f..
The Chicago News tells of a bald-headed
man in Missouri who is suing Tor a dlFolce
because his wife compelled him TO SIT on
: the front stoop all summer to Keep the
flies out of the house. He furnished the
cheerful little insects SO much entertain
ment that they couldn't bear to go in. :
4 little preparatory work has already
. begun at the Panama canal. This seems
; to indicate that Terrible. IeddS. IS ~nos
afraid of Colombia -.@.-.. :
That poor family with seven small chill
{ dren. taxes to pay, and shoes 70 pu!'
1 might not feel much ins41lted II your
e | teamster kind O careless like, dumped
cord of good hard rock maple wood; lnto
!. their yard. : - 80. E.--:.-.E-s as.s,.3S
, ! Mrs. Craigie: better knownsa as John Oils
/. Yer Hobbies. responding to a toast at q
London banquet, ! declared that woman
owes all she knows outside Of domestlclt5
to men. and boldly cited George EifOt
George Sand. Angelica Kaufman, Chariot:
e Bronte and others as examples She salt
d women would never go into the arts anc
l. intellectual pursuits except for the sup
is port of men: and. to literary ACTIVITY
is she echoed with emphasis the anecdotlVe
n non creative theory of Saintsbury. Grea
e actresses said Mrs. Craigfe, warming u
e her theme. great players on muSlcai III
IS struments. great singers and great wit
Ir ers were all. without exception, frs
s, trained and taught by men. We -Woul(
10 not care to interview Miss. Anthony ol
IS Mrs Craigie,s views. nor will many n1ei
Y care to give tongue to them in the bosom
1t of their families Speaking of non
h creativeness, there is our gentle friend
10 Mrs Nation. who has created severa
rt panics among the blind pigs, causin.
y them to run violently down a steep plac,
l. in Kansas. .s' .-s- ,~....
The ash-burning craze has strucl
:. Rochester. Mimi, and the Post and Recort
IL IL of that bright little city advises its sub
scribers to take in their ashpiles owe
g night A suspicious-l looking individua
. was seen one evening last week hoNerin;
- around a small pile of ashes in the rea
- of the mayors residence, but. nothin,
.o was thought of it until the morning iigh
showed that part of the heap was miss
- ing The property rights of the mayo
- had been trampled upon. Next thing w
. know somebody will be stealing the Oh
= tin cans we all dump over back of ou
= neighbors' lots. "A. j. IL.
f. cTTprpTNp ADT TANTAGTS