The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-10-20
A PRIEST AND HIS HAT.
Futile Efforts of a Parishian to Get
Him to Buy n New One.
Washington Star.

Washington Star.
A certain venerable Catholic priest of this
town-his parish is in the northwestern sec
tion-has been wearing such a shocking
bad hat, winter and summer, for several
years at stretch that some of his parish
toner's. even the nonfinical ones, have been
seriously disturbed and grieved over IT,
The hat is derby pattern that went out of
date many years ago. Nobody in the parish
remembers when the hat was new. From
the (perhaps) original black, Ii many years
ago turned from use and exposure, to
sckly green color. The brim edges shine
like the seams Of a drowned mans coat
One of the male members of the congre-
cation found while ago that he wasn't
going TO be able to stand that hat OF his
pastors much longer. From the street
car upon which he was riding one hot, gum
my afternoon a couple OF weeks ago. he
the venerable priest walking along.
handicapped by that awful imitation OF
an OutwOrn derby. The parishiOner,
substantial middle-aged man, found that
even his light straw hat was a burden to
him on such humid and sticky day, and
II made him perspire more copiously than
before to think of what a horrible affiiction
that hat must be on the priests head, not
10 think of the torridity which the very
sight of the hat inflicted upon all those
who beheld It.
When he reached his office the parish
Toner dug a nice. new 50 bill out of his wal
let, stuffed it into an envelope, and adj
dressed Ii TO his pastor, together with the
following note:
Dear Father Far be it from me to
do or say anything to disturb your serenity
OF mind. But i have duty to my cowork-
ers in the vineyard, well to myself,
which l must discharge, and right now,
before my nerve peters out. Father. that
top-piece of yours is something fierce. 1t
gives even a strong man the tremors just
TO look at Ii. IL was back number long
time ago, and IL has been outlawed by the
statute OF limitations for years. I inclose
five. If you'll only go and stake yourself
TO a new hat with Ii, it'll be the most salts
factory fve-spot L ever spent If have
any Interior motive in this, 1t is that If
succeed In inducing you to buy land wear)
a new hat, shall thereby earn the immedi-
ate applause and the lasting gratitude OF
the whole congregation, whose sufferings on
account OF that hat have been unspeaka-
BILE"
The parishioner. a well-known Wash
ington business man. sent the note with it's
Enclosure TO the. priests residence by
messenger boy.
Two days later-it was on another ex-
tremely hot and humid afternoOn-the
street, uptown The priest was still wear
ing the terrible dull-green, shiny-rimmed
derby. He smiled amably when he met
the parishioner and removed the awful
hat and mopped his brow.
Father" inquired the parishioner, did
you get that note | sent you?
II did. my son." replied the venerable
1 appreciated ii and the Enclosure immense
ly. 1t was most kind of you
Well" said the parishioner, where's
''Tut-tut, my son. said the priest. in
good-natured derogation II had other uses
for your generous northumberland
uses for it. / didn't really need new hat
you kn0w-I knew that you were only jok-
ing as to that. and that you merely desired
to make a clever little donation under the
screen of the jest-why, assuredly. What is
the matter with this hat? / can't see that
anything ails it, and the priest removed
the hat from his head and gaZed at il with
perfect and entire approval
To- walking m a.
other, and just then they passed a little
stationery store, into which, excusing
himself for moment, the parishioner
dived. He returned directly, and handed
the astonished priest a nickel pottle OF
black writing fluid.
What's this for, my SOM" the priest
inquired gazing at the bottle wonderingly.
Ink il, father, replied the parishioner,
hopelessly pointing to the awful hat That
might help some.
The hat is still In commission. and it is
still uninked.