davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19
Uncle Josh's Query.

at occasionally get hold Of a queer pas
senger," said a conductor on one of the
suburban lines the other day, but had
always managed to hold my own until :
week ago. Then a regular uncle Josh took
my car for the first trolley ride in his
life. He sat up in a corner and watched
things for few minutes and then beck
oned to me and said:
Conductor, you look like a smart
young Teller.
Eyes, sir
"'Then tell me what makes this car
Electricity, sir
"That didn's satisfy him for more than
three minutes. L saw a doubtful puzzled
look spread over his face. and presently
he beckoned to me again and said
Conductor. should say you was about
as smart as they make EN-
Yes, sir
And 1 guess you know it ALL
"'About all, sir
"I asked you what made the car go,
and you said electricity
That's correct
"'An right. If electricity makes the car
go, what in tarnation makes electricity
go?'
"He had me there" smiled the con
ductor land I went out of business In
half minute, and the grin on the OLD
mana face was something to be remem-
ksred for many days."-Detroit Free
Press
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19

The results Of American invention
will be relied upon in completing the
Panama canal, for the reason that we
are far ahead of any other nation in
the designing of the equipment re-
quired. The engineers who have ex-
amined the country through which this
great gap is to be made realize that the
canal is stupendous undertaking, but
in recent years Americans shave car
ried out projects which would not have
been thought of twenty years ago, such
progress having been made in what Is
generally called excavation machinery.
The construction Of the Chicago drain
age canal would not have been sue
cessful had it not been for the huge
machines employed for cutting the
rock and earth and removing it. In
some respects this work was similar
to that at Panama. To go into figures,
nearly 100000 cubic yards of rock
alone were taken from the Chicago
ditch
The entire quantity which must be
removed at the famous Culebra cut is
only twice this amount. In compiet-
ing the drainage canal it was neces-
sary to change the entire course OF
river, which at some seasons OF the
year was so dry tnat the water III It's
bed would flow through a six-inch
pipe During rainy season it would
fill the Desplaines valley from side to
side. In its rapid rise and fall 1t is
similar to the Chagres, which flows
along the isthmus, but the engineers
successfully conquered it, as it is be-
.lieved they will the other stream. The
famous Sault ship canal is another en-
terprise which will be used as model
for the Panama work owing to its
magnitude. The great Jerome Park
reservoir, the Massena power canal on
the st. Lawrence river, and the hole
which is being bored under Manhattan
island are other projects which are not
far inferior to the isthmus canal in en-
cheering skill
Special Machines.
Some of the machines which will be
placed in service in cutting away
mountains and working both above and
under the water are truly mechanical
giants They include steam "shovels,"
armed with jaws which actually eat
into solid rock and take out a mouth
full at a time, which would make a
heavy load for a two-horse wagon.
The steel teeth with which these jaws
are armed are driven into the rock by
steam engines representing the power
of over fifty horses. When the mouth
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19
Policemen OF the Seas.

Revenue cutters are the policemen Of
the high seas. They have regular beats
to patrol along then coast, looking for ves-
sells in distress, suppressing smuggling, IL
licit seal hunting and lmutinies. They also
enforce quarantine regulations, examine
ships papers, supply lighthouses. and act
as life savers, ambulance corps. fire de-
partment and messenger boys generally
for the government at sea-
The first revenue cutters were built at
the order of Alexander Hamilton, when
he was secretary Of the treasury, and sex-
cept in war times, when they are subject
to the authority ofIIths navy, they are still
under treasury - department orders.
Strange to say, however, it is in times Of
peace that revenue, cutters fight their hard
est battles. They. save many lives and
property that is estimated at many mil
lions yearly. Their name gives little idea
of the great and varied service they rem
der the country. 7if,x
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19

to the quartettes Of Haydn and Mozart,
this lady says she felt as If present at a.
conversation carried on between four
agreeable persons The first violin repre-
scented a middle-aged man of considerable
intelligence, an accomplished tallzer, and
one as capable of sustaining the con-
versation as of furnishing the theme. In
the second violin she recognized a friend
Of the first person. who endeavored by
every means possible to draw out his
about himself. but kept up the discourse
raj rather by appreciation Of what fell from
of his own. The tenor was solid, pro-
found, contentious. person, who gave sup
port to the remarks Of the first violin by
maxims Of a laconic term, but Of striking
truth.
But the violoncello! It was grand
woman, to babbling much addicted, say
ing nothing to signify very much, yet
helping in the conversation, to which she
contributed a certain grace. giving the
others time to breathe while she babbled,
and showing Enthusiastically that she cher
ished a secret liking for the tenor.
William HALFWAY
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19

But there are feats to be accomplished
under water as we'll as above 1t OF no
ordinary magnitude, and here dreoges
of various kinds will be brought INTO
action. There is what is known as the
land dredge, which is combination
of a locomotive and dredge, for the
reason that it moves along railroad
track by its own power. Like the
steam shovel, it has long arm ter.
minating in a great jaw. Some OF
these can take UP enough earth to load
two wagons at once and can cut Or
the surface Of an acre Of ground to
depth of three or four feet in single
day if desired, operated as they are by
engines almost as powerful as those
used for the steam shovels. These
land dredges, or land crabs. as they
might be called, work In the marshes
and other places where the surface
may be slightly covered with water
and too soft to uphold the weight of
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19

full has been bitten out 1t Is carried to
one side as easily as teh laborer would
pass his spadeful Of earth, and dumped
upon the railroad car or spoil bank.
So rapidly does one of these shovels
work that in ten hours it will remove
as much as 5000 cubic yards, actually
doing more in day than gang Of 200
men. and doing is more thoroughly.
On parts of the canal bed where the
formation is looser machines will be
set to work which will actually scoop
up at one time nearly six cubic yards,
yet they eat into the ground and re-
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19
HerCulean ShOveIs to Dig
the Great Panama Canal

move their loads in obedience to the
will of single man. who merely pulls
a lever or turns a wheel. Some of them
have no less than six different engines;
two to do the biting. two more to DO
the arm. This was the kind Of appara-
tus which recently filled up what is
known as Dale creek valley. so that
trains on the Union Pacific railroad
cross this on a solid road bed. l20 feet
above the bottom Of the gorge.
Use of Explosives.
Where the hillside is so hard that 1t
resists these great jaws explosives will
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19

be used. Compounds have been in
vented Of such enormous power that a
quantity which a single man can lift
can be so placed that when exploded
1t will shatter thousand tons Of the
hardest material. 1t is the kind Of
stuff which was used to clear away the
last section of He'll Gate, and enabled
the men who built the Chicago canal to
finish it long before it was supposed
the work could be done. Out on the
isthmus, however, large quantities of
the explosive can be utilized without
the danger of blowing up human habi-
tations, for most of the route is
through a wilderness. Really, the pick
and crowbar will be practically useless
implements there, for the steam shovel
will complete the breach in the natural
fortress which is made by the blast.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19

Is a four cylinder ten-horse power, built
by French concern for racing purposes.
Champion is going after all records, and
the next one he will tackle is the worlds
circular track record of sc 4-5s made
by Barney Oldfield at Columbus in a sixty
horse power gasoline racing car. The
Columbus track Is a mile affair while
there are five laps to the mile at Cam
bridge.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19
Daring Motor CycIist
In His Ride for Record

One mile In :5S As on the f1ve-lap
board track at Charles River park was
the marvellous record established by AL
bert Champion, the French motor cyclist,
Saturday week, when he turned his
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19

When told what time he had made he
expressed himself as satisfied, but stated
that inside of two weeks he would put
the mark at Sos, and inside of two years
he would ride two miles In one minute.
The machine which Champion used
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19
ManaoIno That.

II from the world that we are bride and
groom.
He-Easy enough. You try to buy ev-
erything you see, and won't let you nave
the money.-Brooklyn Life.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19

and more than one man got nervous. It
was fired for the finish and the chrono-
graph club. the timers organization, an
nounced that the Gaul had covered the
distance in So 4-5s. -19t1.y 81
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19
L nslnn Interest.

Mrs. Oldwood-And does your husband
love you as much now as ne dld "heh
you were first married?
Mrs. Viewed Ca bride Of six months).-l
don't know. I haven't asked him TOT
three days.-Chicago News.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19

ed in the air. 1t is supported by
steel tower, which contains not only
the engine which operates the railway.
but moves the entire contriyance along
the ground whel3ever necessary on a
mammoth railway track especially built
for it. The aerial railway is sometimes
800 feet in length. One portion of 1t
projects over the ditch which is being
made. 1t is pecuiarfrom the fact that
the cars are beneath instead of above
it. These are immense iron buckets,
which pass from, one end to the other
In a minute or tWo.s.
Rapid Transportation.
Lowered by rope into ditch they
are filled by the sHovelers and then
hoisted to the arm about as soon as 1t
takes to read this description. Whirl-
ing to the other end of the cantilever
the bottom Of the bucket opens and its
contents are emptied upon the pile Of
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-19

The simplest remedy for disestion. constipation
biliouSness and the many ailments arising from
les. They have accomplished wonders, and their
timely aid removes the necessity OF calling pnysl
20 straight to thu seat of the trouble dis
ess cleanse the affected ars and give the
az an ordinary occasion The family bottle 50 centA
onfsins supply for ayear. All druggists sell them
Der Nordstern. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1874-1931, 1903-04-16

-psr' III au@ etu yeT9ent,- Ies,e e,
10 beina9e 'iiberfiirsenb, fort, bon
@eorg. st faste, bab-bab Sic es
haben foQten-TrGulein Olion unb-"
Der alte Manr bate ben Oedel nit
attternben 9dnben seDffnet. Nun fab
9err Yterfon. bab CT tpetnte. Ct tpaste
ntdt, bas iunse Mdb9en anauieben,
fonoern aos ii6 aamdlis na9 Der Sbiir
ry&etn, Sic. poIen bod nt9t I6on
gehen!" rtef Der Mlte aus, Der plDbli9
bic 4bii9t bes 8efu6ers mertte. v8itte,
bite, nebmen sic es einem alien 9ater
ntht ilbel-nein, Elm FOLDER sSunge-
Sic miihe en- gum Mbenbbrob bleiben-"
pa er puBte, baB Elm ldneeres &C.
ipra9 eingebenbere Sragen nit 1i9
fubren lpiirbe, Beetle ii9 9err pisrion,
gu antipprten: vunmDgli6, unmDgli9,
better 9err Slion. S6-i9 muB in
elmer Stunbe abreiien- So, ia,
gang unmDgli6 = sepiB - i9 perbe
Geors griiben.-Hein. teinen Puni9
mebr-bante, Srdulein Olfon."
Sic begleiteten i'm in ben &orribpr.
9err Slion balf ibm in ben ueberaiez
fer.
rSos tit einsr-sin FOLDER Sunge!
-9ente bo9, Maja, tpenn bic Mutter
auftpa6t. S9abe, bab mir Sbnen
ntdt etlpas gu ef1en anbieten biirfen-"
Sin fir Die l1~ebrisen unpernebmbaz
rer Saut aus Dem &ranfenaimmer
ma9te Die Sec 81 auffabren. sic elite
i9neu bapon, unb 9err 8ieri on fab,
tpte Tie bas gtui bonn Slid nabm lnb
banltt in Der S9lafitube berI9panb.
gr brobte um5uiinten. r9as muB Der
.Puni9 ietn," ba9te er.
Serr Olion briidte feline !Sanb, unb
CT b0rts unbeutli6 cine Tlutb boil
Santia9ungen unb 9riiben.
Damn ftanb er enDli9 iptebsr ar1
benz 8orplab unb sins bic Sreppe bin
ab. Sur9 Elm Seniter fab er Die tleis
men, iGmubtsen atnber mod INNER
auf benz !6of ipielen unb betra9tete IL
rertpunoert-tpar er flint Minllten
Dber flint Stunben bd brinren setpes
ien9 Gin beunrubigenbes unb neues
9efibl erfIute unb bebriidte i'm. Qm
ltebfen bdtte ct peinen mOgen, penn
er bos nt4t i6on ldngit perlernt Bate;
baber 6egniigte er ft9 bamit, leiie spts
f4en ben 3dhnen gu pfetfen.
Der Nordstern. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1874-1931, 1903-04-16

So. M. Nuittn uon Mandeiter,
Snb., wuBte, mas tn ter Stunbe Der
Notb gu tbun bate. Setne Srau
bate einen iol@ unsem6bnlt9en Sau[
uon Wasenz unb 2eberletben, baB bic
Me,ste ibr ntdt gu belfen wuBten. gr
ba6te an Or. &ins's .Neue 2ebens
Piaen unb periu6te iie; ite bate TO-
fort 2tnberuus unb murbe i6lieBli9
sebetlt. Sour % Cts In IS. s.
6ubn's Mpotbefe.
Der Nordstern. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1874-1931, 1903-04-16
S1neurs Wabstbum.

Die fran50iiiden S6auipieler Bril-
Der Gionnet paren 3piQinge uno fa6en
fi9 10 Gbnlt9 pie Elm Srppfen Mafer
Dem onberen, unb bieie punberbare
Iebnli9feit lie erte ibnen etnen unerz
f9Dpfli9en Stoff gu auerlei @iben.
Gines Sages ging 9ippolpte, Der eine
Der 8riioer, gu etnem betannten Paria
Ter Sriieur unb lieb ii6 f%rtiiren uno
bic 9aare f9neiben.
vMtetn !9aar nG9it febr i9nea,"
bemertte er, pdbrenb Der Jriieur ietne
&iinite an linn erprobte, ri9 mD9te
MIDI lieber slei9 auf Elm Sabr bel
Sbnen abonniren; mas piirben sic
bafiir nebmen9"
r8teraig Srancs," lautete bic Qnts
mort bes Srtfeurs, Isle besablen i'm
@oraus unb tommen 10 oft pte Sic
tppqen!"
rSas lit mir re9t," periebte bet
aunbe, Isle tperben MIDI aber siemlid
oft pieberfeben!"
Ct beaablte bic %Derlansten pierais
0rancs unb berlteb ben 2aben.
SIM 2aufe bes Na9mtttags erf9ien
Mnatple 2ionnet, Der anbere 8ruber.
NIT aiemli9 langem Saar unb unraa
firtem 9e1t9t. gr nidte benz Srtieut
freunbli9 gu, nabm in benz Stuble
pGob unb iaste ld9elnb: SD babe e.
Sbnen ia slei9 seiost, sic perbsn
MIDI balb ipieberfeben."
Ser !Saartiinitler blidte perbubi
ouf ben &unben, ma9te 1i9 bann abet
an bic Mrbeit. Die Nebnli9feit bet
betben 8riber mar 10 grob, baB e1
feline N6nung bapon battle, tpie iebr
man i'm foppte.
v9ab 9aare 10 raienb i9nea pa9s
fen, babe i9 in metnem 2eben mod ntfi
eeie6en," bemertte er tpdbrenb Der Orr
BELT.
$50 f9neG9" periebte Nnatole 2ions
net; rbas lit no9 gar ni4ts! I'm
bieIe Sabresaeit fomme ib NIT breimal
~rafiren tdsli9 aug, aber i'm CONNER
muB i9 MIDI setpDbnlt9 ie4smal raiis
rem laien. Sd tpsrbe beute Ibeno
tpieber borbettommen, beppr i'd mad
Dem S6eater sebe."
Ser unsliidltde Srifeur fabte einen
bsr5ipeifelten Gntf9lub. r@erebrtet
Serr," faste er, ~bas tann i'd mir ni9i
leiiten. !9ter baben Sic S9re bierai9
Srancs suriid. Die spei Male, BITE id
sic raftrt unb Sbnen bic Saare se1
f9nitten, f9ente i9 Sbnen; aber toma
men Sic mir ia ni6t tpteber!"
Der Nordstern. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1874-1931, 1903-04-16

Dies reprdientirt cine annebmbare
Pprtipn zines Mannes fir elm Sabr.
Mande Selte aber efien unb
eiien, unS tperben bp6 INNER maz
serer. Dies be6eutet feblerbafte
Serbaulln9 rn6 ltnpaiienbe Speiie.
Bur &enntniB aller FOLDER Scrip
men brinsen tpir Seott's Gmuliipn,
berlbmt tpe9en ibres Aufbaues ser
3ellensepebe. Guer Mrst fann
Grd ia9en tpie iie's t9llt.
sSir iditsn gld Elm tpenis sur Erpbe, ipenn sepiinfdt.
Scptt & gspiuue. 400 9earI Gtreet, getp gprf.
Der Nordstern. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1874-1931, 1903-04-16
Guer SAMPLER aarantirt ieoe Jlai9e,

Guer Sanbler sarantirt jeoe Tlaide.
q @enn NIT &beumatismus seplaSt,
periudt @bamberlain's S9mer5en=
8aliam. gs foitet @u@ feinen Gent,
menn es nt6t gut tbut. gtne Npplt=
fation mtrb ben Sdmer5 ltnbern.
Nud betlt es @errenfunsen II. Nuetz
idunsen In einem Drtttel Der 3ett,
bie eine anbere 8ebanblung bean=
ipru6t. S9nitts, 8ranbwunben,
T~roitbeulen II. anbere Ini6wellunsen
merben raid sebeilt bar4 Inpenz
bung beslelben. Sebe Slai9e saranz
ttrt. Breis Is unb so gtS. Bet al
len Ipotbefen bte YatentzW ebi5iner
perfaufen.
Der Nordstern. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1874-1931, 1903-04-16

9ur6ti.nf ,ptf6en ct. gauI, Wtun,apslts, 5t!sna.
Suite, Sppfane, Seattls une CORTLAND. Verbtrern8tn
Der ptRltb an @ntpunftsn fir bic Rpptenat Gt8enb,
Oregon uns California Sunite. @lasfa, Sapan rnp
@tina. Ssrbtntuns.n In ben 3vsatnasfastsn fur aut
Efli5rn unb fnslihsn guufts.
gSeflt6 ~laufsnb. Stfltp lduien''
&No. 5 HES a. m. *No. zap. m
mo. I LOO n, M +No. 2 S:2S D. M
xNo 90 for Sioux CITY &No. 30 for Duluth,
CITY yia WtIImar Milaca and Sandstone
1I:3Oa. m, 400 p. NJ.
mo = I0.5Q n. m. tho. 8 4:40 a. m.
Willmar mix d leaves for Willmar 1870 a. m.
No. 1, 2, Z and 5 lduft via Clearwater.
*Sonutaee aussenomnlelt.
Sir gfapprn, Stasts urb m.tt,rt Snfsrmattra iprsat
scr. 5ftr f5rttbt an
s. ". getoe, 6. y. 4 Z. n,
Ct. GlpIb, Itnn.
Der Nordstern. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1874-1931, 1903-04-16

gus ri,te,,1 Rnrnnn.
Ser 9raf lieb it9 spei gier eeben
unb berianf barauf in langes 8riiten.
Der Nordstern. [volume] (St. Cloud, Minn.) 1874-1931, 1903-04-16
- III ~ = mff
@peife fir eitt Sabr.

Sleif4 ...I-................... 800 8funb
Observation-Disclosures. $40 Quart
Butter. ........................ 100 8funb
gier II Dubenb
GENTLE. 500 Yfunb
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-12-04
COrdite Eaters.

Qus,e an original species Of narcoma-
MA is noted by the British Medical
journal us Having been discovered by
Major Jennings. D. S. O., during the
recent. operations in South Africa. 1t
consists lin the eating of cordite. with
which the 4Lee-Metford cartridges are
charged. The existence of the vice first
became known to Major Jennings from
the suggestion Of Il regimental non
commissioned officer that a certain man
had possibly been taking cordite in or
der to escape service, but in concluding
his notes Major Jennings suggests that
the effects are so exceedingly unpleas.
ant that none but the most depraved
would ordinarily resort to- it as a slim
ulant and that no mar could escape
service through its means except by
the exchange Of service for incarcera.
ton as a hopeless lunatic or for death
by suicide.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-12-04
HOyt's Sarcasm.

#f a3kr - ~-H - H'A -
'"The cutting sarcasm Of Charlie Hoyt
was only exceeded by his good nature
said John r. Stirling, the Buffalo' man
ager. :a :
II we'll remember an instance when
he gave a severe jolt to a prominent
actor. Hoyt was seated in a box at the
Star theater at the time Witnessing
and picking flaws in the first perform:
ance OF ONE Of his farces. A telegram
was handed him, which read:
of a success I very much desire
leading role in your new piece.
"The name of a very prominent actor
was signed. ""+
Hoyt quickly turned the message
over and wrote the following reply on
the other side:
"'You are alone. i'll your desire
This he handed to the, usher with
instructions that it be sent at5once, and
then be turned his attention to the
stage again" @s" n
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-12-04
Truth About the Hog.

Candor is a rare virtue. AS Il prof.
liable branch of agriculture hog rails
ing is not inferior to any. But when
extolling the virtues of swine do not
assert, as we have recently seen in sew.
eral agricultural papers, that the hog
IL the most Clearly Of animals" We
say, don't make that assertion, for
none who knows hogs will believe you.
Who believes that a hog is as clearly
as a horse OF a sheep or a COW? Hogs,
however, are more clearly than their
reputation. Tell the truth about the
hos, and tell the truth on the hog rails
er wherever it will be safe to do. SO.
Hogs may be kept clean, but left to
his will he is apt to adopt filthy habits
and to eat filthy food. What goes, with
the large quantities Of putrid Stops
hauled from the city restaurants and
hotels to suburban hog lots? If the
hogs eat such, nastiness, whose fault
is 1t, that Of the hog or that Of the hog
grower?-Farm and Ranch.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-12-04
Slot Machine. In spaiu.

Shortly after the Spanish-American
war. says the Worlds Work. among
the first American novelties Sent to.
Spain We're the nickel4in the. slot ma
chimes. the musical kind. Unluckily tire,
first machines played American airs
They. were quickly demolished. When
the next lot Of machines were imported
1t was carefully advertised in advance
that these contri 'nnces would play
Spanish airs only. This was taken as u.
sort Of national compliment, and the
American slot machines jumped into
sudden favor, especially the gambling;
varieties. as the Spaniards are very
fond of all games of chance. In a place
Hike Malaga there are now more than
forty such machines, each earning $3.50
daily on the average.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-12-04
NEW 9 STORIES
A Matter OF Doctrine.

The Rev. .Athaliah Judson, a charac-
ter we'll known about the various
camp mcetin. grounds of the Afrfco-
Baptist League of Western Pennsyl-
4yania. was trying to make plain to a
hard headed, sad visaged brother the
error Of his ways in attending other
camp meetings in the neighborhood.
"Whah's de mattah with 'em? Ain
1dey Christian:' demanded the erring
one.
"Yath, dch's Christian, but deh's
Methods Christian and Presbyterian
Christian. We all belongs to de Bap-
list Christians. Dah's de difference"
! 81 don see de 'stinction," said the
deacon solenlnIy.
: "Why, look hyar," said Brother Jud-
son convincingly, docs yo' believe in
de doctrines OBJ Arminianism and Cal
vinism, orfs yo' a Baptist"
"Whah's dem doctrines .ennyhowy"
said the offending brother skeptically.
"Whah is dey? Why, Calvinism in
de doctrine OBJ lection, and Arminian-
ism am de belief in backsliding from,
grace" 4
Il doan see it," said the other stub
bornly. "Whah's de real 'stinctionT'
swell. it's dis heah way: De Metho-
dis know lie got hol' OBJ salvation, but
be powerful 'fraid he gwine lose it.
De Presbyterian he know he cyan't
lose it, but he mortal feared he amt
got it. But de Baptis'-he know he
got 1t, an he know he cyan't lose il,
an he know where to git It again ct
be do.'-New York Times.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-12-04
Poor Advice.

One of tile best stories told of the late
Sir Andrew Clark is the following:
At a dinner party Il night he no.
tced that the lady sitting next to him
at table passed a dish. to which he
helped himself plentifully.
He asked il she did not like it. as it
was excellent She replied:
"Oh. yes, I like it. but my physician
forbids me to eat it."
"Stuff and n~onsense!' said Sir An
drew. 1T could not hurt any one.
Who is your physician?"
To which the lady, whom the med
ical magntte had forgotten, answered,
with a demuIe twinkle in her eye:
"Sir Andrew Clurkw-London Spare
Moments.