Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-07-03

SAID HE.
some fellows regard as So good time"
Even although he had married the
reigning beauty of couple of seasons
ago, on his return from a prolonged
honeymoon, spent in Europe, he had
plunged into much the same sort of
life as had earned for him the nick
name of "Jack the Lady Killer in his
bachelor days.
His bosom friend and constant com
panion, Will Walton, was of a much
quieter disposition. Of late he had
often demonstrated with Jack for his
conduct, especially when he had such
sweet young wife awaiting him at
home.
This time Jack had got back at VIII.
Caught the saint red-handed, as he
expressed it, and it was with much
mirth that he related the cause of
his companions evident discontinue
Greatest joke in the world, old
man." said he to me. But / noticed
that Will Walton did not seem to en-
JOY the situation at all. Indeed, he
abruptly turned as if about to leave
the bar, but Jack took him by the
arm and made him listen while he
told me the following story:
II dropped in to see little Dolly
Dfmples, the pretty girl in the -
theater chorus, this afternoon" he
said, "and I found her bubbling over
with delight because she had just
found on the sidewalk a well-flled
pocketbook. There was just thirty
nine dollars and thirty-nine cents in
it. Odd sum, wasn't it! Maybe more
than ample to pay Dolly's salary for
two weeks at the theater. But that's
not where the laugh comes in. The
joke of the thing is that there was a
lot of scraps of paper in the purse,
such as woman loves 20 carry about
with her; and Dolly and I amused
ourselves by reading these over:
"Hold on there, Will. You don't
escape until I've fully unmasked your
villany," said Jack, as his friend
again uneasily endeavored to break
| away.
"What do you think of this saint,
this Joseph" he continued. ''Look
at him. The preacher of morality,
the man who lectures me because
I'm on speaking terms with two or
three footlight fairies!
among those scraps of paper was
love letter from him to some I'M
known charmer. To the owner of
the lost pocketbook. It was one of
the most sugary things you ever
read, my boy. It began, My own
sweet love. My Queen among wo-
men, Ha! ha! Look at him! Why,
he's positively blushing!"
This was true. / never saw a man
look more embarrassed at joke
against himself than Will Walton did
at that moment. With sickly smile
he endeavored to break away, but
there was no escaping from Jack who
seemed determined to have the full
amount of fun to be derived from
his friends evident agony.
In this note the sly young rascal
made an appointment to meet his
poor, neglected darling as he Incl
dentally called the fair unknown, at
the same old place." roared Jack,
digging his victim in the ribs, and
laughing boisterously.
"And what do you think he signed
himself?" Ever yours in the links
of love and by the law of hearts,
viii Walton There's poetry for you!
By Jove, WILL he said, 'You can't
deny that the drinks are on you this
time. 'Ha! ha! hal"
The drinks were brought. VIII
slipped away after paying, leaving his
drink untouched.
l was going into the newspaper of
fee where, for my sins, I am COM
PEELED to work, an hour later; when
a young and lovely woman stepped
out of cab. As I stood aside for
her to pass I recognized her. She
was Mrs. Jack Rollins. Seeing me,
she bowed and stopped, as it seemed,
In some embarrassment. Then ap-
proa ching, after a timid greeting,
during which found myself wonder
ing how man with so fair wife
could waste his time with such
Dolly Dimples, she fatteringly said:
Would it be too great favor to
ask you to render me a little assist
ance? want to put an advertise
ment in the newspaper, and I don't
quite know how to word it.