The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1903-07-15
WHEN WOMEN PROPOSE.
How Great Would be Welded Bliss,
If woman were Allowed the Init.
atiVe la Ceursship.

| IL woman were Allowed the ln1tl-
ative In COurtship.
A young girl, who frankly admitted
that she was in love with a man who
did not care for her, asked me not long
ago, says Dorothy. Dix in the New Or
leans Picayune, if there was any way
by which a woman could win the af-
fections of man. For the dignity of
my sex l longed to answer NO." but
I have seen so many men married in
spite of themselves that [ could only
assure her that the woman who went
out on still hunt after any man was
pretty sure to bag him for husband.
The old theory that man is the
pursuer aud woman the pursued in
love.making is q beautiful and roman
tic legend, but it has few facts to sup
port it. Custom and convention deprive
women of taking any active part in
courtship, but while this cripples her
energies and deprives her of fair play,
it does not bar her from the matrimo-
NAL game. Itonly forces her to arrive
by circuitous route, instead of the
plain open path. Every man f1atters
himself that he discovered the timid
and shrinking little violet he elects to
wear on his heart, but every woman
knows that nine times out of ten the
little flower had her eye on him from
the start, and deliberately put herself
in his road, so that be couldn't get
past her without breaking his neck.
The silent tactics with which a wo-
man conducts a courtship are not dig
nified. They are even little under
handed, but they are tremendously
effective. but when man finds that a
woman is in love with him, and has
marked him for her own, his only
safety lies in flight. If he remains
within the radius Of her sphere, his
name is Benedict. Little by little he
yields to the fattery of being 30
adored. Her judgment and taste in
preferring him to other men appeals TO
him, and from having been perfectly
indifferent to him in the beginning,
be commences thinking she is q fine
woman, a discriminating woman, a
superior woman, the ideal woman be
has been seeking, and its all over then,
but the wedding presents.
And he never knows, bless his dear
unsuspicious heart, how she turned
the trick. For the things men don't
know about women, my sisters, let US
all return thanks. It Is our salvation.
The old idea that girl never looked
at man until he proposed to her, and
never thought of him as a possible
sweetheart or husband until he asked
her to name the day, is too idiotic and
sentimental q pose for this practical
day. Long, long before any man pro-
poses girl knows whether he IN going
to do it or not, for women are incredi-
bly, subtle in these matters. More than
that, she knows when she is going to
let him propose, and she has her an.
swer cut and dried.
Now, personally, I believe that the
convention that prevents women from
telling man she loyes him and ask
ing him to marry her, works as much
unhappiness as any other one thing in
the world. I doE't think that there
can be any doubt that women are more
discerning in matters of the heart
than men are, and that if women could
choose their husbands, instead of hav-
ing 10 take what they can get, that
there would be fewer misfit unions.
it does to man. He has his business
and thousand interests outside his
home, and if his wife prove uncon-
genial, if he finds that he is unrespon-
sive where he looked for sympathy,
narrow where be expected her to be
broad and liberal in her views, even if
she bores him, or is surly and ill-tem-
pered, while it is without doubt bit
ter disappointment to him, it is not
the blighting tragedy it Is to the wo-
man who MARI es one kind Of man
and finds him to be another when she
gets him home.
woman should be pleased in her
husband than a husband should be
satisfied with his wife, and if either
one is to have the advantage of pick
ing the other out, it should be she.
Nor, in the end, would this be any The
less to the mans advantage, for the
wife makes the home atmosphere, and
a happy and cheerful and contented
wife will make pleasant home. The
woman who has gotten the husband
she wanted, the man who came up to
her ideal and fired her fancy, and who
is forever patting herself on the back
for having captured a matrimonial
prize, is going to move heaven and
earth to please him, and if I were a
man I would take the woman who
wanted me in preference to the wo-
man I wanted every time. 1t is so
much easier to be pleased than to try
to please.
That men have small taste, and less
judgment in picking out wives the
divorce courts abundantly show, and
the the chances are that women would
display more acumen. When q wild.
over with six children wants to mar
ry again, he general picks out a fighty
young creature with a pink and white
complexion. Very likely she marries
him, for his offer may be the best
thing in sight, but she would never on
earth pick him out if she bad the pro-
posing to do. Her taste would run to
Johnny Twostep, and she would leave
her elderly suitor to the middle-aged
woman, who would mother his chill
dren and make his home happy and
comfortable, and bring peace to him,