davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-02-08
COMEDY OF METROPOLIS.
Joke Played in New York City of New
Kind


Call c. Lyon, Main SIM" This was
the memorandum that clerk in one OF
the departments found on his desk the
other afternoon. The note appeared in
nocent enough, and there was nothing
about it to indicate that it was any diff
ferent from other telephone memoranda;
| but you can't always judge by the
looks.
The clerk had been absent from his
desk for several minutes looking up a
reference in another room, and when he
returned the note had been mysteriously
placed on his table. The mystery about
it was that after the atmosphere had
cleared no one knew how the note came
there. The clerk Immediately reached for
the telephone and told central to give him
Main sim. The obliging miss respond
ed promptly, and a conversation some
thing like the following ensued:
rs this Main s17M?"
Eyes, this is the Zoo
This is Mr. B; 1 want to speak
with Mr.. c. Lyon
.'Sea lion," The clerk almost dropped
the receiver, for the two words sounded
like a room full. Say, what's the mat
ter with you? I'd just like to express
my opinion of the bunch of smart Alexis
around this town at close range. You
think you're mighty smart. don't your
'Wha-What's that? You must be on
the wrong wire. This is Mr. B, and
want to speak with Mr.. c. Lyon. There
was a note left on my desk"
ooh, you're easy, you are. Another
one of those innocent ninnies. A note
left on your desk asking you to call up
the sea lion, Ell? Well, were not fur
nshing a telephone for sea lions at this
season of the year. I'm getting tired of
this jolly business. Cut it out. Every
five minutes for the last three hours this
phone has been ringing for the gratifica
ton of a bunch of smart boys who want
to talk with the sea lion. It's a mighty
poor joke, and I'd like to tell you fell
lows what l think of you to your face"
Il didn't mean to jolly you. But there
was a note-b-r-r-r-r-
And the connection was cut.
The expression on the face of the clerk
during the conversation was made up Of
lighting changes. 1t was learned that the
phone at the Zoo had been kept busy
during nearly the whole afternoon by
calls from various parts of the town. all
of the parties asking to speak to Mr.
c. Lyon" The feelings of the man at
the animal headquarters can be appre-
hended-Washingto Post.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-02-08

Public opinion ia Hungary Is decidedly
against cremation and the Hungarian
premier has refused to grant license 20
compaQy formed 20 establish e-eEz-
tories In Hungary.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-02-08
PRESS AFRAID TO CONVENE.
Russian Authorities Break Up Ceie-
bration at ST. Petersburq.

New York Feb. THE cable has al
ready brought us the news of the sum-
mary suppression by the Russian autho-
rites of the proposed celebration in St.
Peters burg of the second centary OF the
Russian press. At first the promoters OF
the feast intended to ignore official war
nings and hold their banquet at all haz-
ards but when they found that the dining
hall had been seized and individual war
nings sent TO ali guests. they concluded
to yield to superior force. A glance at
the resolutions which were TO have been
adopted affords sufficient explanation
of the government interference. Here are
some of the demands which were to have
been made:
First-It is necessary that the system
OF preventive censorship should be abso-
lutely abolished.
Second-A complete change Is neces-
sary in the system by which the govern
ment Is able 20 infict punishment on the
press by administrative order.
Third-Breaches OF law committed ny
press organs should be brought before a
public and independent court Of law
Fourth-It is necessary that the press
should have the legal right OF discussing
freely social and political questions
Fifth-No concession should be neces-
sary for the establishment Of any organ
Of the press n any language
Sixth-The invioiabni,y OF copyright
should be guaranteed by law.
Seventh-The system by which publish
ers are required 20 deposi: caution money
should be abolished
The editors ought not have framed
their resolutions until after dinner. NJ
Piehve told press committee the other
day that their newspapers were the cause
Of all Russia's internal trouble and were
not entitled in any way TO, any kind %
favors shown them by the government
Public opinion IA Hungary Is decidedly
against cremation and the Hungarian
premier has refused to grant license 20
a company formed 20 establish e-eEz-
tories In Hungary.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-02-08

l It is said that Bissert's aged mother
| does not know to this day that he has
been in the STIR She was kept occu-
| pied in various ways during the trial to
prevent her noticing the excitement ii
caused. When the son finally landed in
prison she was told that he had been
sent off on police assignment. After
his release, because Of his prison pallor,
Bissert did not go home at once, but
spent a week in the country in order to
get back healthy color.
He is now supposed to be in communica-
ton with the District-Attorneys office.
which is naturally anxious to receive
his revelations about the potentates in
the Police Department who are thought
to be corrupt. Previous to having been
found guilty at the first trial he said:
Il am a policeman, and policeman's
son-I will not squeal." Life in Sing
Sing seems to have changed his mind"
1t is a pity that the ex-polfceman VINO
is Bissert's father did not make plain
to his son that taking money from
woman-is a bad practice 1t is possible
that the boy came to this conclusion on
his own account. In his defense, it is
said that he is the victim of system
There are so-called systems in London,
Paris and Berlin, but this fact excuses no
man caught in those cities with the
goods on him.
man in Bissert's position ought to
play "single-handed game. He should
win or lose on his merits. Bisse-t was
foolish enough to believe in potentates.
The illtreatment of prisoners by thei,
in misery and disgrace is
by no means confined to Sing Sing.
Some years ago it was my fate to fall
asleep one night in q box car. The Magis-
trate gave me jail sentence in the morn
Ing. Among the prisoners in the jail were
a witness for the state and an old man
accused of a disgraceful crime. The
old man lived on tier B, the witness for
the state had his cell on tier A, The man
On tier B. was the prisoner against whom
the man on tier A was to testify.
One morning the witness was moved to
part with his moustache. A fellow pris-
oner volunteered to shave it off. During
he ceremony half of the mustache was
eft standing. This remnant disappeared |
A number Of prisoners were
afterward charged with having picked |
he bristIes out one by one.
The old man is said to have died in a |
the last heard of the witness |
lie was blanket stiff" begging at |
Frisco.
This was my first experience with a |
ailbird who was disliked. |
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-02-08
CHANNEL NEARLY COMPLETED.
News Of Extensive Works in Progress
at Bizerta.

Paris. Feb. IA French service journal
gives some interesting details Of the
various extensive works in progress at
Bizerta. II says that the widening and
deepening OF the channel which connects
the sea with the lake are nearly com
pleted. The deepening Of the outer hsr-
Dor and the extension Of the stone break
waters which protect II are also almost
finished The military town Of Siei Alb
daliah has new barracks 20 accommodate
so men. and a hospital with 80 beds
ready for use. The accommodation for
the torpedo craft and their men. and the
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-02-08
TO ENCOURAGE IMMIGRATION,
Southern Pacific and California Fruit
Growers Get Up a Scheme.

San Francisco. Feb. 6.--In order 10 sec
ond the efforts II California producers
70 provide against the anticipated scar
city OF hands in orchards and vineyards
II the late spring months and sim fur
ther 10 encourage the incoming of farm
ers with their families. F O. NcCor-
mick, passenger traffic mara ger. an
nounces that the Southern Pacific COM
pany and connections have concluded TO
extend from April 50 20 June Is the sale
Of low rate colonisi tickets from all east
ern points.
II seems 10 ne" remarked the custo-
ner. as she watched the men at the
market trim the slice Of ham she had
bought you are wasting good deal Of
that meat"
Not at all. madam he said gently.
II weighed il frst''-Detroit Free Press.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-02-08

Sidney whitman's new book on Bis
mark contains a chapter on his wife.
which represents her az one % thqes
women Who live entirely for their hur-
bands. She never tried to WELD any pr,-
lltical influence OF her own. Che show ed
much tact In the treatment Of visitors.
and her hrsbsnd's Rastronoasic propensi.
ties inclined her 20 eonsuie the tastes Il
famous guests II one q them. in course
OF conversation. alluded 20 some favor
tie dish Of hfs. "a waa sure 90 - on TIRE
table the neat time he was invited shs
was particularly prossd Of her sea. ard
spoke scornfnBy Of the modern English.
who. unsike their ancestors are satisfied
with the STUFF they can get for enIy t~o
shnlinxx = pound
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-02-08

An English publisher r. about 70 Issue
a quarterly fnsEazins for miiiionsIrer.
Zach number - q cost y. and the con-
tents are 70 he chiefly reproductions a
famous paintings
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-02-08
A Remarkable Discovery by
a Remarkable Man.
THE ART OF FASCINATION, THE
POWER OF CHARMING, THE Sc
CRETS OF PERSONAL MAGNETISM
FULLY AID COMPLETELY RE-
VEALED AT LAST.

4 Marvellous, Mysterious Force Which
Gives Wonderful Mental and Ply
steal Strength; 0vercomes Ali Dis
eases; Enables Yen TO Know the
Secret Natures Of Others and to
Handle Them as You Please.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-02-08
BELGIUM CAN'T RAISE ARMY.
No Inducements Seem to Move People
TO Enlist

Berlin. Feb. THE volunteering ciau-
ses OF the new army reforming bill. which
came into operation in Belgium a few
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-04-03
The Sleeping Car.

The average Pullman sleeper is a
marvel of compactness and ingenuity
as we'll as elegance. 1t is strongly
built of choicest woods, with skllful
and artistic workmanship. It's size,
weight and construction make it
great deal safer than the regulation
passenger coach. In the arrangement of
the berths, however, there has been
practically no change in many. years.
Each car has one or two staterooms
which are very comfortable and high
priced, says the Utica Press. The
sections, with their upper and lower
berths. are no larger or more conven-
lent than they were years ago. The
American people are learning to be
more or less acrobatic according to the
extent Of their experience and the
number of times they have dressed in
one of these narrow spaces. Some
years ago what was called the Mann
boudoir car was introduced on a few
roads and was very popular, but the
management discarded it because it
did not consult the greatest economy
of space. 1t did afford it's occupant a
little room in which to disrobe at
night and dress again in he morning,
a place to hang attire, and was far
more comfortable than the regular
Pullman berth. 1t would seem as if 1t
were about time, in view of the Pull
man company's prosperity, for it to
give its patrons moro room without
materially increasing the cost of the
accommodation.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-04-03
PROMINENT PEOPLE.

Rome has bestowed the freedom Of
the city on Signor Marconi
NJ. Witte, the Russian Minister of
Finance, is an ardent temperance
worker.
The Rev. S. Baring-Gould, one of the
most prolific and versatile of modern
authors, is sixty-nine years old.
Professor John Lyle Campbell has
just rounded out fifty-four years as a
teacher at Wabash College, Crawfords.
vile, Ind.
S. NJ. Inman, Of Atlanta Ga, has
given $4,000 toward the proposed
Presbyterian university to be erected
in that city
Joseph Battell, a millionaire land
owner of Middlebury, Vt, has offered
to rebuild the business portion of that
town, which was recently destroyed
by fire.
Ferdinand ~, Grand Duke of Tus.
cany, is now siXty-seven years of age,
and has held his title for forty-three
years, his father, Leopold H., having
abdicated IN his favor in 1859.
The German Emperor is said to have
remarked on his forty-fifth birthday,
II am impressed by the fact that Ma.
poleon and Wellington were just my
age at the time of Waterloo" On
June Is the Emperor will have reached
the sixteenth year of his reign.
Captain Richmond Pearson Hobson
who recently resigned from the United
States Navy, is quoted as saying that
it is his intention to devote his time
'in the immediate future to the writing
Of novel, to lecturing, literary work
and to the education Of the American
people"
Professor Mommsen, the venerable
historian, who was knocked down by
q cab in Berlin the other day and
slightly injured, had just recovered
from a painful injury he received from
a fall while looking for some books OIL
the upper shelves OF his library. About
a year ago the historian was knocked
over by runaway horse in Berlin.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-04-03

the admirable editorial comment Of
The Constitution
The senator spoke truly when he
said that corruption in national poll
tics had not yet reached the south II
the case had been reversed our mem
bers would not have Lnseated Butler
but with the northern members the
ends justify the means. Yes, / remem
Der from away bac.. how the old mar
fought us. Ny father was brought uT
IN his state and my mother in Soutt
Carolina and when the senator and ,
were In our early manhood 1--WE wer,
.te1 in the same year, the war oegaI
05tween these two states Yes, mort
than fifty years ago. and las been bit
ter and unrelenting ever since. Thil
Is the first sign Of a returning senst
Of justice that has come from any
great man Of the Old Bay State, ant
we rejoice that It has come from Sen
ator Hoar, the noblest Roman Of then
ALL It's influence will reach from Chi
cago to Boston and It's generous sen
timents will thrill every breast in thu
southland.
l care nothing for Mr. Roosevelt no
his late letter. am too old to be dc
ceived by woody paragraphs. VIII
be retracts his ISLANDERS on Jefferson
Davis and apologies to his widow,
l will have some confidence In his
honor and as professed good inten.
lions, but not until then. II he is a
gentleman he will do that. II he is
not gentleman he won't and that is
all there is in It. Thomas Nelson
Page and Harry Sullwell Edwards and
the Methodist preacher at Cincinnati,
to the contrary Notwithstanding. Sen
ator Hoar would not have uttered and
published those ISLANDERS, and If he had
long ago made the amende honorable.
ISLANDER is sharper than the sword.
Its breath rides on the posting winds
and its tongue outvenows all the
worms of the Nile" Roosevelt is a
stubborn, conceited pontician. He
processes to be a friend to the south,
when he is not. If we send a consul
to foreign country and they do not
like him he is recalled ecause he is
mon grata persona" How much
more careful should the president be
to appoint no one to Office who is not
grateful to our own people. If Roose-
welt is a friend wha. makes him keep
on showing DR.. Crum on the people OF
a great city like Charleston. And the
negro is an arrogant, conceited fool, or
he would not take it.
Il know that you say that you love me,
But why did you kicA me downstairs? ?"
Some one asked Tom heed if there
was such a thing as al honest polite
ian. He said, Eyes. An honest poll
tician is one whom you can buy anc
he will stay bought, but even Iney are
scarce. BILL ARP, in Atlanla Con.
stitution.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-04-03
THE TABLE sILvERwARE.

To deserve the application modish Ia
bic silverware must not be too bright,
but rather glow with cnastened lGs--
ter that is unIeniably soft and effect
i've. This applies to oandlesticks,,
dishes, trays, bowls, Jeapots and the
many pretty trifies that contribute to
the charm of the well-arranged table
The dull luster is preferred for brass
end copper articles no less than for
the silver toned metal.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-04-03

The fighting around Santiago in 1898
has resulted in the aditicn TO the
equipment Of the engineer corps of two
implements which proved to be very
useful in that battle. These are the
machete and the wire-cutting pliers.
The machete is not only valuable
weapon of offense at close quarters,
but is useful in cutting through thick
brush and jungle growth. The useful
ness Of the pliers is obvious since
barbed wire has come to be such an
important factor in the defense Of for
titled positions Without them it is
likely that many more men would
have fallen in the assault on the San
Juan blocllbouse
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-04-03

Hope must be elastic. It sEiags'
eternal n tie human breast
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1903-04-03
Wreeked By a Venetlan ehelI.

The Athenian Parthenon, the most
beautiful building in the world, was
wrecked by 2 Venetian shell in 1867.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1903-07-31
WHAT WE PAY FOR OUR LIVES.

An authority on life insurance matters
has been gathering some striking Stats
tics on the subject of insurance policies
and payments. In 1888 cities and towns
in the United States during the year 1902
the total distribution to policy holders
and their beheficiaries exceeded $780, &c.,
O00 In the distribution of this SUM
among the larger cities New York holds
first place, $22.945,475 of the total sum
having been distributed here in 1902.
Philadelphia follows the metropolis with
record of receipts aggregating 1926
09S. Chicago holds third place with a
record of $6,922,457. In each case these
figures show an advance over those of the
preceding year, which fact has led our
authority into making some interesting
prophecies. At the rate of distribution
recorded for the past year, it is estimated
that the life insurance. companies of New
York Exclusive of Brooklyn) are pledged
to pay something like $3.50, OOO, 900 to the
citizens of Manhattan within the next
twenty years; while Philadelphia will re-
ceive $lS0,00O,O0O, Chicago $l40,000,00O
Brooklyn $4,000, 900, and Boston $780,
OOO, 00O AS more than ten thousand mil
lion dollars in policies are carried in this
country at the present time, the rate of
increase suggests astounding possibilities
for the future.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1903-07-31
Co S TO LITTLE FALLS.
Manka'o Nursery to Be Moved to an
Up State Town.
From tuesdays Daily.


The Little Falls Herald recently con-
tanned tn following: &c. r. Brooks,
manager of the Mankato nursery, a
branch OF which was started on the A..
G. Nelson farm near Darling, nearly two
years ago, has enlarged operations. A
nursery ii;s been started on the West
side, about mile north of the depot.
''The Mankato nursery, with the
ground ana city property at Mankato
was bought by MI. Brooks and his moth
er, Mrs. Z. j. Brooks, widow of the late
D. M. Brooks, from Cornelius Kelly. The
Brooks company has since been sole own
er of the property, and until recently has
authorized no one to canvass in the coun-
ty except j. Dunn and A. G. Nelson, who
is in charge of the nursery near Darling.
The Brooks company will move the entire
nursery at Mankato to the West side
nursery here They have already 1900
fruit and shade trees and shrubbery
planted and are also enlarging the nurs-
cry at Darling. These nurseries will be
known as the Morrison County nurseries,
and will be enlarged as occasion demands.
..Manager Brooks is rather annoyed be
cause of someone who has been taking
orders for Mankato nursery stock claim
ing to be stockholder and: filing the.
orders with southern grown fruit trees,
and wild strawberry plants, roses, cur:
rants, ETC., from the woods. He desires
it known that such parties have no con-.
nection whatever with the Mankato nurs-
Org -
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1903-07-31
BAD COMPANY. .
Not a Home in Mankato Where This
Visitor is Welcome.

Not a Home in Mankato Where This
Visitor is Welcome.
This most unwelcome visitor in Man
kato <sA s
Is an itching skin disease.
Itching piles irritating eczema
Are bad company. We are glad to
get rid of them.
Doan's Ointment will drive them away.
Plenty of Mankato endorsement to
prove this.
Mr.. w. S. Taylor, of s226 Clark street,
carpenter, says: IL know what it is to
suffer from itching hemorrhoids. Like
all sufferers from that intolerable annoy
ance 1 experimental considerably try
ing to find some compound to be depend
ed upon. Il put up a pile ointment my
self and 1 thought it the best on the
market but I am willing to acknowledge
that Doan's Ointment was more effective
in my case than any other ever used.
Mine is very effective in relieving this
aggravating trouble, hemmorrhoid OF
piles but it does not equal 'Doan's in
quickness of action. When a man steps
out of the way to endorse an article
which completes with his own preparation
he certainly must have reasons and ae-
tual experience to back him up. Thisdn
my estimation is strong recommen-
dation as can be given for Doan's ONT
ment." 80 aSs'.s r.
Doan's Ointment sold by all druggists,
50 cents per box Foster-M ilburn Co.,
Buffalo, N. Y, sole agents for the U. 5.
Remember the name Doan's and take
no other.
The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1903-07-31
wELL-FED MOSQUITOES.

People living on the meadows of Jersey
and Long Island nave been marveling
this year over the tremendous size and
the sickness and well-fed appearance of
the mosquitoes. The secret may now be
said to be out. It's the oil. The mos
quitoes have grown to like the oil. They
are waxing sinewy, sleek, and songful on
the oil that the scientists have, at great
expense, been flooding the mosquito-in
tested ponds with since the beginning of
spring. Mr.. William c. Whitney has
spent something like $4,000 in oiling up
the ponds down his way on Long Island,
with the result that the Westbury mos
quitoes this year look like humming birds
and are as sanguinary and confident as
bolo-hurling Moros. Old-time residents
down on the mosquito breeding Jersey
marsh lands and rivers declare that the
are such an adaptable lot that
they've already discovered method of
distilling the poisonsous elements from the
oil and rejecting them, leaving only the
wholesome, fattening elements where
with to regale themselves and take on
flesh. They go farther than this, these
mosquito-wise Jerseyites, and declare
that some of the oil-fed mosquitoes
pump the poisonous ingredients that they
have collected from the oil, in addition to
their own injecting venom, into the per-
sons of their human victims. All of
which is more or less cheerful.
Literally hundreds of thousands of dol
lars have been wasted in New Jersey
and on Long Island in these efforts to
"exterminate" the mosquitoes by the use
of petroleum. The huge, oil-fed mos
quitoes are even invading Manhattan Is
land this year as they never did before.
IL requires only good stiff breeze from
the Jersey side to watt billions of them
over the Hudson to New York, and peo-
pie living within half mile of the Hud-
son water front in New York, especially
up Riverside driveway, where the North
river is comparatively narrow, are in.
vesting in mosquito screens this year as
they never did before. 1t looks as if the
mosquito -exterminating enthusiasts will
have to eventually fall back upon that
old scheme of putting salt upon the mos
quitoes' tails.-New York Correspondent
Washington Star. e>ty