The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-12-26
E By John Kendrick Bangs.

:; By John Kendrick Bangs. I was winding up my old fashioned hall clock the other night, preparatory toitretiring,. when a mufffed grosn from within its +capacious depths caused me to:pause for, a moment.
 .::.Ouchr'. came the voice from within. ''Drop that key. will you? I'm. wound upstoo, tight asti it is. Another twist VIII bust my .mainsprtng." -..i''rr :. .'.whos Incidence are your I demanded somewhat npnplnsaeds by the extraordt- nary incident. Only once before had ] heard voice tfrom the depths of that antique timepiece, and that was wben5 discovered my friend, Mike Brannigan, the heusebreeixer. concealed therein It isn:t you again. Is it. Mixer" added ''Up to your old tricks
 May, nay, my, son." came the voice. Tin something of a thief. my: lad: but not of the Mike Brannigan order. Open up and will show you who I ann
 Ip a moment I had flung the clock door wide, and out of the tall. coffin n-shaped recess stepped a. hoary headed old gentle man. with a scythe slung over his back, and an hour glass in his hand.
 ::.Father, Time, by all that's lovely" cried. :
 "At your service" said he, with an ap- peaiing salaam. !, "And very much in need ofiFFigation. young man. The hour glass isra first rate thing to measure the hours with. Nbut. to pass the time of day. give me that taller. bit of crystal wherein the high ball rests Got a wee nippy in the house?' ~t.-t-..
 "Ay. many, I I:replied., Three for you and three for me. and encores for every
 Whereupons the white haired old god ' the hour emerged from the clock.S and, after adjusting his forelock. 'tripped light 1yfinto my dining room, where we were seop sitting, at our ease. discussing a, neat jug of Scotchathat r. had brought home with me, from Skihibo Castle! after visit ing Mr. Carnegie s 'gardener--a former li- 6fArian of my eacquaintance from osh- Hbeh-lasta asuudinar <'- -l - S''Y tell you. my boy" said the old gen Hlenan, smacking his lips estatica1ly. as / he put his share .iof this liquid refresh- ment where 1t belonged, "a drink in time gathers no moss. When chaps /. only glass holds nothing but sand a brief, mo- ment of stun Ike this of yours is 8 veri- table gift of the gods. You have relieved my aaridity to such an extent that my gratitude shall know no bounds. What cen do for your
 ''rhere's' lots you can do for me, said upon reflection. '"In the first place, slow down little, will you? I'm growing old too rapidly Here 1t is almost 1924.
 
 1Sn.7 You are exceeding the speed limit as ifiyou were merely a miserable mundane autoniobilist.".; -@} ''< ...
 'Fhat | cannot, heIp.''l sighed the old gentleman. Y wish. could. You don't suppose a fast life has any attractions fora man of my age. do your 'F ''I judged so from the scandalous speed at3which you are going' said l., It deesn't seem more than week between Chxistnasesf nowadays. and in a period when young Americas demands upon Santa Claus are satisfied with nothing short of a few -dozen Panhards and dia- mond tiaras it's pretty tough on the father of a family: Why don't you slow down a bit and 1make the years as long as they used to ;be?"
 'I'd lose my job if did" replied the old man. sadly. '"rhe race is to the swift. my dear fellow. and Time, like everybody else. has gotStO keep up with the pro- cesston.'' ', 'i' -.t... '.'-' '---' 'iThat's all right I observed. No body denies that, but if you will pardon my saying so.' you don't keep up with the procession. You still go about your busi- ness in the same stupid old way you used to when Adam was out looking for new animals to 'chrsten, but you don't cover the ground. There isn't enough of you to Attend to all that needs to be done. and the result is that nobody has enough of you U cnQS. l don { mean 1t upkindly when say that you are an old fogy in your methods Why, even that old hour glass and scythe of yours prove that" ' . '- "oh,. come now said the old fellow. re- proachfulIy You don't mean that.''
 ''Of course do.'' said l. You measure the hours with an antiquated thing like an hour glass. which has to be turned over every sixty minutes, when for fifty dollars you could it yourself out with a first class. up to. date meter that would register the seconds as they. pass as ae- cuFately as a .agas meter registers the amount of wind that runs through the pipes of a modern nat Even a dollar watch would be more up to date that that 6aharan arrangement of glass bulbs you carry around with you; and, as for the scythe. with the work you have to do yeu might just as, we'll employ a pair of scissors for all the good 1t does. Only the little fellows use scythes nowadays. Big enterprises do their moving with electric engines,''
 The old gentleman helped himself to an- other finger from the jug before answer tng
 'I never thought. of that" said he, when he had gulped this down. . ''of course you haven't" I retorted You haven't stopped to think about