davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
Wouldn't Work Twice.

when you stepped on that gentle
mans foot, Tommy, hope you apollo
gized?"
oh, yes, indeed did," said Tommy;
land he gave me sixpence for being
such good boy"
Did he? And what did you do then2''
stepped on the other one and apollo
gized, but it didn't work ."-Tit-Bits
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
Notwithstanding.

Doctor-Yes, there are a great
many drugs used in medicine.
Patient-There is, bedadl An
shtill good nanny people git well
at that.-Puck.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
The Bitter Part.

1.-THE future" said the poet, twill
give me my deserts"
Eyes," his wife bitterly replied, "but
that won't help us any in the effort to
get little plain stuff to eat at pre-
sent."-Chicago Record-Herald.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
An Irishman,s View.

"Are you looking for trouble?" de.
manded the angry man.
NO." replied the Irishman; "only
for pleasure"
"You seem to want a fight?''
That's what I said" returned the
Irishman. Chicago Post.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
Fixing the Blame.
Rastus

Magistrate-WeH, Uncle Rastus,
what brought you here?
Uncle RaStus-Dem two big perlice-
men by de railin' yo' homer.
Magistrate-Yes, but didn't liquor
have anything to do with it?
Uncle Rastus-Yessah; day wuz bofe
drunk, yo' honner.-Chicago Daily
News
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
BEFORE Their Time,

First Chappie-I wonder now, Chol-
lie, how the donkey ever came to be
used as the-er-emblem of stupid
ity?"
Second Chappie with yawn)-
Don't know. Pm sure, deah boy; must
have been before our day."-Tit-BitE
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
A Matter of Course.

Millie--l wonder what the holes in a
porous plaster are for?
Willie-Wby. they are for the pain
to come out through, OF course.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
Perhana.

"Why does the baby cry?"
well, / suppose it's because the
Lord put it on earth as test of tenn
per."-Brooklyn Eagle.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
A Hummer.

First Space Writer-That article Of
yours, Truth is Stranger, Than Fic-
tion," is hummer. Bound to attract
attention. Where did you get the
facts? -rs Fft- -f.
Second Space Writer-Made 'em up
IN. Y. Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
Ought to Be n Good Climber.

She-You ought to be good noun.
tain climber.
He-Why?
"You are so used to bluffs. detroit
Free Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
Unlimited SunnIN.

He-f've just been reading about a
man whose living expenses are only
ten cents a day. Il wonder how he
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
IF You ARE OUT OF

IF YOU ARE OUT OF NJ AND
cant find any to DO; or - oeady
TOIEiHg, y But ARP NO. CO.? &c IRa
send and see what can do vo". WE
PROCURE POSITIONS IN ALL ATS =, "a
country, PAYING FROM SIS II s6L PER
MONTH, for either sex color. II want
~one send us 81 membership fee and 81 tie The
kind you want. and II fail to get that, qr
some other kind, will return your money, kr-
dress the National Cooperative Employment As
ISOLATION. o11 S. 18th ST.. Phila. MeptieN thu
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
PARKER.s PREvENTATIvE COM.

POUND. Positively prevents ladies having
trouble. unless desired QUICK Kelley
PILLS, guaranteed to removeobstructions In 2 Z
days. Prevents ISd fectly harmless, 81 and 81 .
REPRODUCTIVE AND INVIGORATINCf
PILLS, restores weakness OF men and causes re-
production in barren women In month. "a
SYPHILORRHOEA cures Con-. Git. and Strio-
ture. to 10 days; syph, itching, catarrh, sores.
TO IS days; 2 sizes, 81 and 81 each; by mall.
The East India Remedy Co., Sill 18th, PhIlA.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10

corporated IN one. Capital, $500 900, divided I'm
shares OF $40 to 500 each Payable 81 cash, 81
monthly We guarantee 25c. on the 81.
The OBJECSS for which this Corporation IN
formed are TO MANUFACTURE, PURCHASE,
or otherwise acquire, bold own. sell. assign and
transfer, invest, trade. deal In and deal with
GOODS, WARES and MERCHANDISE and
PROPERTY Of every KIND; also to provide q
PROTECTIVE. BENEVOLENT ans INDUS
TRIAL DEPARTMENT for the BENEFIT of the
MEMBERS THE DURATION OF THIS CORP
ORATIONIS PERPETUAL Office. 511 S12thPhilad
Come ~ join with us, admission 81.
OBJECT-Buy and borrow OF ourselves. Ar
kinds OF societies and clubs can Join.
NO PASSWORDS, GRIPS OR SIGNS.
THIS ASSOCIATION buys properties for MEM
bers ard gives long time TO pay for 1t Saves
them rs per cent. on house rent fuel, provisions
and dry goods bill. Loans them money at sr1al
interest. Gives them 50 to $40 week when sick.
Women paid for all complaints. Furnishes doc
tor and medicine free. Gives $50 to $3.50 ae
ieath; also 500 TO $500 IL living ten years.
Secures EMPLOYMENT for them FREE.
Having briefly outlined our intention In tho
foregoing, II you satisfied that we can be OF
benefit to you cut this circular out, send IL and
500 TO the president, DR.. f.. Parker Reed, S21
Lombard street, Philadelphia. and certificate
will be sent you and authority to act as agent.
DIR. Z. II. Reod, Pres.
Miss j. i. Shields, Sec SM
Rev. A. III. Newton, IRE @VA
sawyer II. Wheeler, Sol ~
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10

She--Oh, suppose he gets free
sample package of every new kind of
breakfast food.-N. Y. Journal
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
POETIC JoTTINGs.
Living In the Past.

To-Day DR.. ID. NJ. Foster, of BLOOMINGTON.
70 years OF age. and his wife, who "a az
celebrate the sixtieth anniversary OF their
marriage
They say that You and 7 arc olG my a..ar
But you and 1 know that dt is not so;
They say our journeys end is very nesr-
An we are only starting on it, though.
gaze upon yor4 f. ce and It Is fair,
your hand joyo is thrill to mine I'M
parts;
Long years the Lord has given US to share.
But years may never wither loyal hearts.
count the joys that you have brought to
me-
live the happy hours DER and DER;
Deep In your eyes l fancy can see
Henected proud lovers face once more
hear Joyous little maidens signs,
feel the pride of one who long ago
Found out that all the world was paradise
because In gleeful tones you told me so.
They say that you and are old, my dear,
But with your trusting hand in mine held
The way ahead looks long and wide and
clear,
And. happy. go Living in the Past.
Chicago Record-Herald.
just Keep Knitting, Knitting.
My grandma used to sit and knit from
morning till the night,
with her needles glancing, glanclng, when
the sun was shining bright.
She knitted stockings for us all, and all OF
us agreed
That she'd find a satisfaction fitting out a
centipede.
I used to waIch her often then, and note
her kindly smile,
And wonder if In Heaven above she'd knit
most all the while,
And say; Now, amt you weary7" ano
she'd answer: Dear, depend
1T 1 just keep knitting. knitting, am sure
to reach the end"
I've walked a toilsome way, have shaken
hands with Care,
have supped at times with Pleasure, and
have found her board was bare.
l have tainted in the struggle, and my
heart has made it's plea:
Dear GOO, chance to rest a time were
Heaven enough for me-"
have toile0 and striven vainly, and the
Journey seems so long,
AND judge that L am vanquished in the
battle Of the strong;
fet stu take heart of courage, for hear,
while shadows bend:
III you just keep knitting, knitting you
are sure to reach the end"
ALFRED J. Waterhouse, in N. Y. Times.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10

sAF, FRIEND. Do YOU IT N
49,. Lo S IN THREE DAYS1 90 Ts$9I
pTsiuyely bring luck to the owner in srSHA NJ
b IoHe h Gays. II makes no difference StHNH8
low pad your condition may be: this VIZ .
ia StiaI ~ VIII make 1t better. 1t will aIao
yoa W,s gam ana control the affections OF snyoDs
Says NO one can hurt or harm Won S,tI nInes
sSss,s ms charm. because it's sure prerentiys
~ Hrt VV,n natural and unnatural sicknesa I'd
49, ~ az once. Price 81 to IS. Sent 49,
GneiS.SAlso tells what you want to mo- ~. -
$e-sny,ninS Jon wish, and remove sneli. 80
Madam Parker. I244 s. 9Th. PSiia' AnS
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1903-01-10
WITH THE CHER
UB'S ASSISTANCE

" IT MAKES it awkward" said
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1903-01-16
FIRES AT VENEZUELAN FORT
GERMAN COMMODORE ENFORCES
HIS INSTRUCTIONS.

Soldiers Discovered at Fort La Vigia
Against Explicit Orders-singIo She'll
Exploded without Doing Amy Harm
Statement from the Shore That No
Unauthorized Persons Were at the
Fort.
Puerto Cabello, Jan. 15.-The German
cruiser Vineta at sunset last night fired
a shell at La Vigia, the fort crowning
the hills behind this port. The shell,
which was fired because men were be-
lieved to be in the fort, exploded with
out causing damage.
The people of Puerto Cabello were at
a loss last night to understand the ac-
ton of the German cruiser. Early this
morning, however, Commodore scheder
sent the following communication to
the Venezuelan authorities through
William H. Vollemar, acting American
consul here:
Referring to my letter of the ninth
instant l have to inform you that fired
shell yesterday at Fort La Vigia be-
cause, against my explicit prohibition,
the presence has been observed there of
unauthorized persons. Judging from
reports these persons were soldiers
From information gathered here to-
day the statement of the German COM
modore that there were unauthorized
persons on the fort is incorrect.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1903-01-16
GERM4NF,s FRIENDSHIP.
Its Extension TO United States One Of
the kalscr's Dearest Objects.


the kuIser's Dearest Objects.
Berlin, Jan. 15.-Baron Speck Won
sternberg, the newly appointed charge
daffaires of Germany at Washington.
spent the greater part of the day at
the foreign office. He probably will be
received by the emperor in audience
next Saturday. To the correspondent
of the Associated Press the baron said
to-day:
His majesty has been pleased to
commit to my care one of the dearest
objects Of his external policy-that of
extending our friendship with the Unit
ed States. This is for me delightful
work. The circumstances of each coun-
try place it beyond the jealousy and
fear of the other, and we have at pres
ent good will, admiration and respect
TO build upon. His majesty so thor
oughly appreciates the capabilities of
Americans, their fair and brilliant wo-
men, their genius, their Hveliness of
disposition, the ease with which they
do immense things, and their loyalty to
high aims, that my work will be facil-
itated in every way by his govern
nent."
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1903-01-16

New York, Jan. 15-An opinion was hand
ed down today in the United States circuit
court by Judge Wheeler sustaining the va
lility Of the, United States tax imposed upon
the Vanderbilt estate under the war tax act
assessed m and collected by the United States
collector Of internal revenue.
Washington, Jan. 15.-August Belmont to-
day filed deed conveying the Bennings
race track property to the Washington jock
ry club. Of the District Of Columbia, the
Few corporation formed to succeed the Old
Washington Jockey club. The consideration
asked is 100000.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1903-01-16
NO NEWS OF ST. LOUIS.
American Liner Had Not shown UP at
Midnight Inst Night.

New York. Jan. 15.-UD to midnight
no news had been received of the
American line steamship St. Louis.
Throughout the day crowds of anxious
inuuirers called at the offices of the
company, where the agents maintained
a. cheerful view and assured all that
there was no need for alarm.
To those who made inquiries a copy
Of the following statement signed by
Clement A. Griscom, the president of
the line, was given:
"There is no apprehension whatever
felt about the ship, as several causes
have contributed to her delay. She
did not leave Cherbourg until Sunday
forenoon, nearly sixteen hours late, and
according to her average speed for the
last few voyages was not due here until
Tuesday Furthermore, most incoming
ships are a day late and report heavy
westerly weather.
1T is known the ships boilers are
not in condition, as she is to be with
drawn at the end of the present voy-
age for repairs. 1t is not even believed
she has met with such mishaps as a
broken shaft or lost propeller"
The steamship Laurentian, from
Glasgow January 3, which arrived to-
night. reports having experienced fair
weather.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1903-01-16
UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT.
Agent Killing Diseased Cattle Fined for
Cruelty

Cruelty.
Washington, Jan. 15.-Tn the cam
uiaign Of the bureau of animal industry
against the epidemic of foot and mouth
disease in Massachusetts, a new and
unlooked-for obstruction has developed
and threatens considerable trouble, il
persisted in by the authorities. The
department of agriculture has been in
formed that DR.. Thompson, one. of the
federal inspectors, has been fined S15
by local court for alleged cruelty to
animals. The report to the department
says that the inspector was having a,
herd killed, and two of the COWS had to
be struck more than once in order to
kill them.
'If the experts of the department"
said Secretary Wilson to-day, "are to
be criminally prosecuted in Massachu-
sets, they may have to abandon the
undertaking altogether, in which case
the state Of Massachusetts will be
ouarantined and permitted to eradicate
the disease within her borders herself.
One thing is very certain-the quaran-
tine will not be raised from that state
until this work is accomplished. or
course, DR.. Thompson's case will be ap-
pealed and fought through all the
courts. if necessary"
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1903-01-16

ANTT-TR UST LEGISLATION.
No Report 90 Full Committee of House
Until Next Week.


Washington, Jan. 15.-The following
statement was given out late this af-
ternoon by the subcommittee of the
house Judicial committee, which is
charged with the preparation of an
antitrust bill: ~' 90 '@efi iss'sa=@l
1--WE have had a conference with the
attorney general and we have been in
formally considering, among other
things, his suggestions as well as dis
cussing the general form of the legfsla-
tion. No definite action has been taken
by the SUBJ committee, and we shall not
be prepared to report to the full COM
mittee before the early part of next
week.
The subcommittee had fully expect
ed to complete bill to-day and report
it to the full committee tomorrow, but
found after the conference with the at
torney- general to-day there more time
will be required for the preparation Of
the bill, with the changes determined
on, than was given to-day. One of the
objects Of the talk with the attorney
general was to get the bill in strict legal
form so it will stand the test of the
courts if enacted into law.
The republican members of the SUBJ
committee worked three hours this af-
ternoon in an endeavor to get the bill
ready to report tomorrow, but the re-
arrangement decided on after the con-
ference with AttorneyG General KnoS
involved more than could be accom-
plished by tomorrow. The positive
statement was made that there has
been no hitch to occasion to delay. "It
is simply question now of perfectine
the BILL" said one member OF the SUP
l.ooy,T,o ittan
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1903-01-16
JEFFRTEg' SIDE.
Statement Concerning His Recent Bout
with Monroe. 4 =#@

Salt Lake, Utah, Jan. 15.--The Herald
tomorrow will print a signed state
ment from Champion James j. Jeffrfes
concerning his recent bout with Jack
Monroe at Butte, Mont. Jeffries de-
crares that Monroe not only did not
knock him down, but during the entire
four rounds did not land clean punch.
Jeffries claims to have been dehberate-
1y robbed out of the fight, as the third
round, in which he sent Monroe to the
mat for an eight count, was cut short
fully a minute. IT made no attempt
whatever to land on Monroe for the
first two rounds" says Jeffries, "as
saw he knew absolutely nothing about
the game. In the fourth round could
not get at him, as he repeatedly clinch-s
ed or fell to the floor, and in this man
ner he managed to stay the limit. The.
reports that he knocked me down are
absolutely untrue, and nobody knows
this better than Monroe himself.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1903-01-16
SersOua Coastsng Accident.

Bristol, Jan. 15.--A serious coasting
accident occurred this evening on the
Blakeslee street hill. A party of eight
were coasting down the steep incline on
a double ripper when a king bolt
broke and threw the entire party into
a creek. All the coasters were more or
less injured but Clarence Brose, aged
twenty-five years, had his left leg SO
badly broken and twisted that the ply
sicians here were unable to set it and
the man was sent to the Hartford hos
pital. It is expected that the limb will
have to he amputated.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1903-01-16
some lNCIPIBNT VIOLENCE
CH4RAC CTERIZES FIFTH DAY OF
WATERBURY, STRIKE.
Flights Between the Non.UniOn Men
and the specta Flour
ishes Revolver and His Car is stoned
Manager seryelI Declares lie Win
Operate Other Lines To-day.

Operate Other Lines EO-uRyS
Waterbury, Jan. 15.-Incipient Vio-
lence characterized the fifth day of the
strike of the motormen and conductors
of the Connecticut Railway and Light
ing company in this city. Fights oc-
Cured between the new men housed at
the car barns, some of whom escaped
without the lines and the spectators.
About $50 employees Of the American Pin
company at Waterville stoned one of
the first cars run, and smashed several
of the windows. The attack was
brought on by the hourishing of a re-
volver by the motorman, who quickly
retreated within the car when he saw
the frenzy of the mob.
The cars were run on but two lines,
the Waterville at a. n., and the Oak
vile later in the day. No cars were
run later than 5:45 by order Of Man
ager ]. w. sewell Few persons rode
on the six cars run and the strikers
kept careful account of any who did
ride, with view TO boycotting them if
possible later in case they are in busi-
ness which could be injured in this
way. Probably 500 persons congre-
gated about the center TO the city at
.. M, and large crowds gave the po-
lice plenty of work all day long. No
real violence was noticed in the city
while the cars ran, although a large
number of boys skating in the park
hooted at each car as 1t came to the
center. Manager Sewell states Tonight
| that he will follow up the start he has
made to-day by operating other lines
tomorrow. He says that the lines are
better patronized to-day than he an
| ticiPated, that in case all lines are op-
Grated and a long strike ensues, bring
| ing with it a general boycott, he will
| operate just what cars the public needs
demand A number Of ties and rocks
were piled on the Oakville line to-day,
but did no damage.
The appearance of the strike break
ers outside the car barns has tenden-
cy to excite the people, and this after
noon the police warned the electric Off
cials that the men must be kept inside
when not running cars, otherwise they
| (the police) will not be responsible for
| any disturbances.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1903-01-16
Howe s Stetsofl.
GLASS lis ELIGIBLE
And WIN be Elected Captain of the Yale
Football Team.

n 4-
Football Team.
Edgar T. Glass will be the next foot
bali captain at Yale None Of those in
authority at Yale will talk in detail on
the matter, but it was learned last eve
ming that the football players who are
privileged to vote for a captain for next
seasons eleven have held a meeting
within the past day or two and endors-
ed Glass as the man for the captaincy.
The protest lodged by Harvard to the
effect that Glass has already played
four seasons in university football has
been carefully weighed by the Yale au-
thorities, and Glass has been declared
eligible. n
Last evening Walter Camp stated
that the matter now rests with the
football team, and this statement is
construed at Yale as meaning that all
other difficulties have been adjusted.
The football players will probably
meet within the next week or ten days,
and at that session Glass will be elect
ed to the captaincy of the Yale eleven
of 1908. A..
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1903-01-16
DoRsOHT CONCERT PROGRAMME
Big Band Promises a Few Fine seiec-
tions Sunday Night.

Big Band Promises Few Fine ssiec-
tions Sunday Night.
The second Dorscht concert of the
current season will be given by the
Second Regiment band at the Hyperion
Sunday night The band will be forty
men strong and perform the following
programme, assisted by Mrs. Louise II.
Grammar, soprano, of New York, and.
]. Burns Moore, xylophone: =.
J.. March,-American Republic 80. lie Thiele
2. Concert Overture in F........ .Kalliwoda
8, Paraphrase-Sweet and Low. .Barnby
b. Die Wacht Parade K0mmt. .Eilenberg
4. Song. j
Louise Fl. Grumman.
5. Fantasie from Gounod's opera Faust
........... ................ Robbinson
8. Allegro Vivace from OVertuer William
]. 3. Moore.
Z. Selection from ''The Chaperones" 1900.
.......-s...-. s..s.......""ss'. WiILu"ih
8. Song. :
Mrs. Grumman.
8. BY the Swanee River. .Myddleton
TO-. Coronation March ......... .MeyefDeer
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1903-01-16
RYAN An EASY WINNER.
BiIIy stIft of Chicago Knocked Out in
Fourth Round.

Kansas City, Mo-, Jan. 15.-Tommy
Ryan, the middleweight champion,
knocked out Billy Stiff of Chicago in
the fourth round Of a ten round bout at
the Delaware club tonight.
Ryan fought without his usual eau
ton. trying for a knockout from the
start. In the first round he sent Stiff
down with right on the jaw, Stiff TAX
ing the count Ryan followed with a.
right to the kidneys and Stiff went to
his corner in distress.
Stiff came up strong for the second
round, however, and made fair show
ing in standing off Ryan's Whirlwind
rushes. In the third Stiff hugged Ryan
to gain time At the beginning of the
fourth Stiff was rushed to the floor
and rested nine seconds. AS he arose
Ryan like flash whipped his right to
the jaw, putting Stiff down and out.