The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-07-02
A DAY AT THE seAsHoRE.

| said the Colonel as a great comberA curied
! in from the sea and broke over his broad
| back This morning when l sat painting
\ at the club the country might have gone
TO the dogs for all me: but now, sir, L
could champion lost cause or lead a
foriorn hope
You may he called upon TO do some
thing of the sort within the next day or
two, Colonel" I replied we are in a
nest OF Senators. statesmen and other
| dangerous public characters OF high and
/ low degree here at the seashore-iook,
/ Colonel, coming down the beach now.
| Do you recognize those two gentlemen
Great Oligarchs," exclaimed the Colo
mel; the senior and Junior Senator's from
the great state of New York. The two
statesmen. ntheir bathing suits. were
approaching. arm in arm. The Junior
/ Senator waved his disengaged hand in the
air as he talked. while the senior Sena-
tor ran his long. bony fingers over his
hsggled beard How is the water?" the
junior Senator Inquired as they drew
| near. just right" cried the Colonel;
tide coming in, not sea puss in
sight, and the Colonel and l walked
toward them.
The senior senator was looking at Us
steadily.
HIN. HIM." he said more 10 himself
than TO us, THE Colonel and Mr.. SkiJt
Here, Depew, these gentlemen you must
know-the Colonel and Mr.. Skitt; they
have some political scheme that I can't
quite make out but perhaps yOt may
understand it
Understand a political scheme that is
too deep for Senator Piatt?' said the
junior Senator. Indeed. you flatter me.
However, gentlemen, that reminds me Of
a little story.
There was once a crab with a lame off
hind leg-you see how serious a matter
that was for 4 crab, because ne couldn't
pat his best foot backward. ] generally
get that off with the fish course
II never eat fish, said the senior Sen
ator, dryly.
mo, but some OF your most successful
maneuvers have been executed with your
best foot backward, my dear Senator,
said Mr.. Depew suavely.
We were standing near an old boat
drawn upon the beach. The Colonel felt
the presence Of a glorious opportunity.
The bathing suit is great leveIler. and
how much easier TO talk persuasively TO
the two Senators when they were no
longer hedged about by the majesty Of
silk hats and frock coats"
Gentlemen" he said, Senator Platt is
right; Mr.. Skitt and 1 have a political
scheme or mission
Il knew it; 1 knew it." chuckled the
Senator.
1T is the simplest thing in the world,
yet few of the statesmen whom we have
approached in its behalf have compre-
hended il. We felt sure that our scheme
would appeal TO the intelligence housed
in the Executive Mansion, but, sirs,
while we were cordially received here our
entertainment consisted mostly of n foot
race over the building, and l never caught
up with the President until we were
about TO bid him adieu."
4vrNr-
Senator Depew. but the Colonel had start
ed that speech on one or two occa-
sions before and he proposed to finish it
this time.
Gentlemen, our political sheme is to
emancipate the statesmen: to unwind
from his weary limbs the tape of the
Wall street ticker; to loosen the grasp Of
the corporation from the throat of legis-
lation,'
'Bravol' said the junior Senator. who
had seated himself on the sand. II
Senator Plat does not have you out on
the stump next fall then his ear for ora
tory must have grown dull
Yes. yes" said the senior Senator,
the Colonel, we'll revised. would make
hit. Allow me, Colonel, to suggest 1t
would be better TO say hands instead of
limbs
1T is the hands of the Senators that
grow weary handling the tape of the
ticker, and then, you know, legislation
turns the tables once in a while and
takes a little grip on the throat of the
corporation. 1 know, because I'm in
both"
That's true Colonel, every word Of
it." said the junior Senator who was
modelling a miniature building out OF
sand with clam shell. now making it
look like the White House ard then
something the shape Of the Grand Central
Station. And that reminds me- con-
tinued the amateur sculptor, "of a story
a man that ran a sawmiil up back of
Poughkeepsie used to tell
He had started a log on the traveller
and the saw was merrily cutting its way
from end TO end when he spied a hole in
the log.
An. Ia, bee tree,' he SAYS to him
self; and in goes his arm up t. the
elbow after the honey. All the time the
saw was coming nearer and nearer; but
the honey was sweet and the man ran his
arm in a bit deeper. That time he
couldn't get it out. II was his saw and
his honey. but he didn't set much value
on either of them just then. Now, that's
the predicament a Senator who is in cor
porations falls into occasionally
The senior Senator looked at his long,
skinny arm with an expression OF salts
faction that it was still with him. After
TINS We al look 10 the NdLti. anu Nhtu
our bath was over the Colonel and ac-
cepted \ invitation to dine with the two
Senator'S
At the table the Colonel attempted in
vain to make the senior Senator conpre-
herd the nature of our mission. while on
ny part I experienced considerable dill
Guilty in keeping the junior Senator down
10 the subject in hand
MIR. Senator ] said do you not
think the effect Of great free canal
from the lakes 10 the sea would forever
insure the supremacy on the Atlantic
coast % the city Of New YoT.-c'
Now. Mr. Skitt, said the Senator. IL
my arm were out OF the hole IN the bee
tree 1 might answer that question. but
really-by the way. that reminds ne and
OF he went again with a story about
man who had pet duck that brought up
a brood Of chickens and insisted on their
learning To swim-ald added. but Il N
not that kind Of duck. I'm not going
20 drown my chickens in any canal"
Across the table I heard the Colonel
say:
Impossible, Senator; Impossible. I an
gratihed that YOU set some value on my
oratorical gifts, but Mr.. Skitt and are
pledged TO the mission which We have
undertaken I fear my speeches would
.reate havoc in your party were / 10
deliver them in the next campaign
Not at ali not at all. Colonel You
don't understand how Il is done First
you write your speech-put al the nre
and patriotism you please ~ y Let
il bris,ye with invective and be sure
particularly TO harry the trusts. At The
committee headquarters we go over Il
with a Hair q shears and a IRE ex,ln-
guisher to give it tone Then you de-