The daily journal. (Salem, Or.) 1899-1903, 1903-02-28
WHAT
CAUSES
DIVORCES7
Attributed to SelfishnesS of
Men
An Able Discussion by the
New Hampshire Patriot

me ulNoTCe slaJlsJCs compiled lot
the last twelve months show that in
Chicago for every nine marriages en-.
tered into one divorce was granted.
In Omaha, Neb., for every five mar.
riages contracted, one divorce was
granted, and at Los Angeles, Cal, the
percentage was still greater, being
one in every four.
This is a most deplorable condition
of things, and is not only a discredit
but a disgrace to our civilization. Be
cause of these conditions, sad and
humiliating, marriage by many is de-
clared to be failure, and perhaps this
has more to do with the refusal Of
Havard graduates to marry, than has
the manner of education received in
that institution of learning
The Rev. Samuel W. Dixie, secretary
of the national league of protection Of
family life says that the result of his
long experience and ceaseless inves-
tigation, go to prove that ninety per
cent of the divorces granted is due to
the selhshness of men. The osher ten
per cent he charges to the thought.
lessness and lack of loyalty of wo-
men.
II this reverend gentleman has
reached correct conclusions, there is
a lesson in 1t for us all Selhshness
is the bane of peace in married life.
Man demands too much, and woman
uses not the power she possesses to
influence her husband for good.
We do not hesitate 10 express our
opinion, that while thoughtlessness
and disloyalty may be the root of the
trouble. a matter which is often over.
looked unnecessary petty quarrelng
is more often the cause of the separa-
tions that take place and bring about
conditions so fatal 10 the happiness
and welfare of human society II
many of these cases were investigated
it would be found that anger has play
ed large part, perhaps beginning al
most unperceived, and later develop.
ing a state Of things in the home that
was no longer bearable 10 either par.
ty.
How different things might have
been IT, when the husband was an
CRY and disposed to say sharp and
mean things, the wife would have held
her peace for a time instead of Civ.
ing vent to retorts that only inhamed
matters more. In the same way. when
the wife was angry, and inclined TO
read her husband lecture on duty,
if only he had quietly controlled his
temper. but 1t generally happens
that when one of the parties is angry,
the other gets angry also, and 50
qparrels ensue, and when INDUCED in,
grave Misunderstanding, and eventu-
ally separation. Is the result
One Of the first lessons that welded
people need to learn is that when one
is angry, the other should be silent,
and, if possible, serene. Neither a
man nor a woman will long continue
to say unjust, unkind, or spiteful
things when opposed by a respectful
dignity and silence. There is no
weapon so powerful, no policy so sure
in enforcing peace and harmony. as
silence.
OF course there are many kinds Of
silence, some OF which are more irri.
tating than out and out vituperation
and abuse. There is the silence Of
sullenness; the silence OF contempt,
with the sneer attached; the silence
OF incredulity. the silence OF superi'
ority, or it may be the silence Of mere
stupidity. There is the silence that
proceeds the storm. when II is all
black and angry within, and only
waiting It's time to burst forth In all
/ its fury. But II the silence is 10 be
effective II must be none OF these. but
the silence OF respect, and humility
that tries TO be grieyed for the cause
OF the anger. or that says, you wrong
me, but when your anger and bad
temper have passed, we Will talk II
over in peace together" and rest as
sured that when this is done, recon
ciliation will enter the home and abide
/ there
Doubtless II Is true that men are
more selfish than women. II may be
part and parcel OF their education
and Of civilization. Il Is recognized
in the law; Il makes up our customs.
and there are those who insist that
men are constructed so. selhshness
Is but a form OF weakness; an evil
dence OF ignorance; a lack Of seli-con-
troll; an inability 20 see things in their
real perspective and with due regard
TO the rights Of others; more than all
Il is injustice IN its simplest form. II