New-York tribune., 1903-01-15

r,iaoo 1rnior" has been received 1t is a handsome
issue of twenty-five pages. well illustrated De"
voted to descriptions of the industries agriculture
and natural advantages of that California city and
its vicinage.
UBIQUITOUS.
You stem into a railway train at Penge or Peck
You jump into casual bus that's trotting past
You 20 into an eating shop. you walk or drive. or
And You find a beaming German always sitting at
your side.
oh. it's German here and German there and
But its 's1urderer of Babies" If you're walking
It's Murderer of Babies when you leave your
F,,t thew grow quite fond of England when they
quit the Fatherland
German takes your hat and stick German
He Simply Imply seethes 5'1 IN capel Court he in
He's in the BUS, he's in the train. the concert hall
And nov now he's putting in his oar with naughty
Britains Fleet.
oh, it's German here, and German there. and
But IFS "cowards. Thieves and cut-thrOats''
when their raying windbags spout;
It's 'cowards Thieves sdnG and GGut-throats' when
And they're spending English money in the
Christian Fatherland
The English papers asking what portent the
appearance of d whale in the Thames slgnlnes'
In former times such appearance was con-
sidered ominous One was caught off Greenwich
three months prior to the death of Oliver Crom-
we'll, and the common opinion was expressed oy
Heath in his "Flagellum.' 1T pleased God, ne
remarks "to usher in his end with great Whaie
some three months before, June 2. that came up
as far as Greenwich, and there was killed. Eve
lyn in his Diary, under the date of June 3. 16os,
mentions that whale was killed off Greenwich,
and that it drew infinite concourse to see 1t
by water horse, coach and on foot, from London
and all parts" According to Robert Hubert, in
his Catalogue of Natural Rarities," the tongue
of this whale was exhibited daily for some time at
the 'AIter near the West End of st. Paurs
Church"
In February, 1857 another whale was caught In
the Thames and IN The Times of that month
appeared an advertisement for piece of ground.
some forty feet by sixty feet, ION which TO exhibit
a whale" The piece of ground advertised for was
found in the Mile-end Road and the whale was ex-
hbited until March IA. In the, same month-name-
ly, March 2l-expired the House of Commons
which had been elected in 1852.
At q Circuit Court in provincial county town
a young countrywoman was under examination.
Now my good girl said the the adVoeaise tS ris -oq
the bar committed the act Was any one with you
at the tme?' .
''Yiss. yiss. my lord ant advocate. my sweetheart
couTting ~ Was s sgain asked rs he
''Yiss. my advocate ant lord, shust ootside
no no my lord" cried the witness "Gootness
no! I can hartly get him to court me when were
alone. ant I'm sure he won't court me here afore
you all. ll."(Answers
Here are some examples of what the British
schooboy can do when he tries hard;
John Wesley was a great captain. He beat
the Dutch at Waterloo. and by degrees rose to be
Duke of Wellington He was buried near Nelson
in the Poets Corner al Westminster Abbey
Asked TO six animals peculiar to the Arctic
regions, boy replied. Three bears and three
SEALS
The Sublime Porte is d very fine old wine
THE Possessive Case is the when somebody
has got yours and won't give it to you"
The plural OF penny is twopence.'
In the sentence. I the goat butt the man,
butt is conjunction because it shows the con-
necton between the goat and the man.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places.
so they look like umbrellas
The difference between water and air Is that
air be made wetter, but water cannot
THE SELFISH BORE
The most annoying bore We know
Who angers us as few do
Is he who when tell how low
Your spirits proceeds TO show
He's feeling worse than you do
philadelphia Press.
We may look for the Sultan OF Jehore in 1904
This crowned head from India has announced his
purpose OF making a tour of the United States in
the year of the Louisiana Purchase Exposition.
He Will be welcome But Yankee rhymers should
be warned against writing iests and 1ingles when
this particular commander OF his faithful subjects
is paying his respects TO this great and glorious
nation Johore is joke. and the sense OF humor
In that part of the East is small