davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01
BoWSer Sticks
To 1t * !. i: e: :::;:::::; ::::s'-


''Then tell me how you pronounce the
word regime"
"I-I don't think I'd call it 'bee,'" re-
piled the man after some thought
"Of course not'
"And it can't be buttermilk."
"Have you got sawdust in your
head?"
81 wouldn't say it was cold chicken
or mince pie, but it may be-
May be what?' asked Mr. Bowser
as the other hesitated.
burned if l don't believe it's a high
ball, and l want to thank you for it in
advance. If all men were as generous
as you are, us fellers''-
He got no further-t that is, he got a
good deal further He got outdoors,
and the door struck his heels as he
went. Mrs. Bowser was trying hard
to keep placid face as Mr.. Bowser
returned to the sitting room, and not
ing the fact he pointed finger at her
and sternly said
"This performance is not half over
with'yet. l will not sleep until l have
proved my case"
II am willing to let it 90 as you say"
she replied what do we care wheth-
er it is reg-i-mee or ra-zheem?"
II care because | have been called an
ass and an idiot, and don't propose to
stand it. l will go out on the street
and put the case to the public. You
needn't protest, for it will do no good"
He went His experience with the
tramp warned him against that class,
but meeting an intelligent looking man
with a bundle under his arm he stop
ped him and said;
"a word with you, if you please"
"Same old story, / suppose" sneered
the man in reply, "and l haven't time
to listen to it,"
"Sir, am no trampp' said Mr.. Bow
ser with great dignity
"No? Then what is it?"
Glow do you pronounce the word
spelled r-e-g-i-m-e?"
"Humpl Don't you monkey with me,
old man! l wasn't born yesterday"
The man passed on, and it took Mr..
Bowser ten minutes to get over his an
ger and accost a second pedestrian.
He was told to forget it. The third
asked him when he got out of the lu-
natic asylum, and the fourth picked up
a club from the street and whistled for
the police. Mrs, Bowser and the cat
had been looking out Of the front win
dow for quarter of an hour when a
boy appeared with note for her. 1t
was from Mr.. Bowser. 1t read;
81 say it's reg-i-mee, and I'll be
hanged if don't prove it or die in the
attempt. You can go to bed or sit up
or hang yourself"
Ten o'clock came, II, 12, l. Then the
cat fell asleep, and Mrs. Bowser heaved
a sigh and gave it up and went to bed.
She knew Mr.. Bowser She knew he
would find that reg-i-mee or break both
his legs and lose the rest Of his hair
trying. M. QUAD.
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01
CHATHAM.

Miss Margaret Flynn is i'll at her home.
Miss Woodruff of Newark, is the guest
of Mrs. E. H. Lum
Miss Eva Bruln spent Sunday with her
cousins, the Misses Miller.
On Saturday evening dance was held
at st. Patrick's school hall
The course of the Golf Club is in excel
lent condition, and many enthusiasts are
taking advantage of the fine weather.
Edward c. Collier of Newark, addressed
the Epworth League of the Methodist
Church on Tuesday evening, ON the sub
ject of missions
The Chatham Episcopal Mission Is hold
ing services at the residence of Mr.. John
Gould every Sunday afternoon at 4 clock
The Rev. j. w. Van Ingen is the rector in
charge.
The Chatham Lo ige, No 245, 1 O. o.
g., commemorated the eighty fourth ami
versary of the Introduction OF Oddfellow
ship into this country, by attending SER
vice at the NJ. f. Church.
A surprise party was rendered Miss Rose
Carley on Friday evening. A large mum
Der of young people were present. includ-
ing many from White Oak Ridge. A
very enjoyable time Is reported
The first basket ball game of the season
between the Chatham regular" team and
the ''piok up team on Saturday resulted
In victory for the regulars" A game
will be played to-day at o'clock, between
The home team and the Ogden nine of
Newark.
The end of the bowling tournament
cunning for four months at the Club
House, resulted Friday evening in MIR
NJ. B. Lum winning first prize, a dress
suit case, and #. III. Lum. III. second prlze'
\ scarf pin, Miss Wheeler won the ladies,
prize.
The marriage OF Miss Christine Minton,
grand daughter Of Mrs. Hudson Minton of
hts place, to George Waldemar Bradford
Plissner was celebrated at the home of
he BRIDE in Brooklyn, on April 29sh.
Relatives and friends from Chatham We're
smong those present.
The spring dance of the Fish and Game
Club took place at the Club House last
Friday evening. The patronesses were:
Mrs. H. Deb. Page, Mrs Lawrence Page,
Mrs. Ralph Lum, Mrs. @. M. Lum, Mrs
a. Stopford, Mrs. j. Pier Mum, Mrs.
Frederick Boyle, Mrs H. H Lum, Jr.,
Mrs Joseph Pollard, Mrs Henry Berry
and Mrs. Anson Berry.
The fourteenth anniversary of the
Woman's Christian Temperance Union
was held on Wednesday afternoon at the
nome Of the president, Mrs. Nelson Kelley
A paper read by the corresponding secre-
5ary reviewed the years work, and showed
hat considerable good had been accom-
plished and that the condition Of the
Union gave promise Of greater growth
md development in the year 30 come.
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01

More than 500 persons competed for
the prizes offered by Chicago compa-
ny for the best thoughts on the subject
of saving. The man who received the
first prize wrote: Saving produces a
peace Of mind unknown to him who in
time of misfortune must depend on the
bounty Of his friends. Determine to
save, for will power is the prime essen
tial. Deposit regularly. Lay aside
some portion of each weeks or months
income. Deposit extra and unexpect-
ed receipts" 1t is short but sound
and comprehensive sermon on thrift
and enllsts in good cause two forces
that sometimes fight on opposite sides
will power and habit
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01

Is reg-i-mee, of course. You have got
1t mixed up with some of those French
words you come across in novels"
But | haven't, my dear. 1t is 'ra-
zheem,' and every well learned person
will say so. haven't read novel in
a year, and l don't pretend to under
stand French or try to get off any
French words"
"And do you mean to tell me to my
face that l am numskull and an
ass?" exclaimed Mr.. Bowser as he set
his jaw and grew red as fire.
"No, dear l simply say that you
don't give the word the right pronun-
citation. 1t is nothing to dispute over,
however, and we will drop it. Do you
think it will be colder tomorrow"
Colder or hotter be hanged! You
have the same as called me fool, and
/ propose to have the matter settled
If it has come to the point where a
husband must go to school to his wife
/ want to know it. You have said that
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01
where's your fish?" they cried in chorus
wouIn HeIn Her out.

Mrs. Hiram-You may stay until
your week is up, Bridget, but when
you go | must tell you won't be able
to write you a letter of recommends
tion.
Bridget-Don't let yer want Of eddi-
cation imbarrass ye, madam. Ofn
write it fur We, an We can make yer
mark to it.-Philadelphia Press.
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01

Miss Smilax-And SO Miss Passe and
Mr.. Gotnix really got married. Was 1t
a love match?
Mary-On the contrary, should call
it hate match.
Miss Smilax-Why? don't under
stand you.
Mary Why, she hated to be an old
maid, and he hated to be poor.
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01
Fishing.

Gladys Young was fond of fishing.
So she fished from morn till night;
Ttut to tell the truth about IL,
Gladys never had bite.
Hat awry and cheeks like roses,
Empty basket on her arm,
Told the giggling lads and lassies
No wee fishes came to harm.
'Where's your fish?' they cried in chorus
Lovely day. and Stream so stilll"
Gladys blushed; 81 caught but one fish,
And he's climbing up the hill"
-Florencia A. Lewis in New York Her.
ald
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01
Today.

Happy boys! Enjoy your playtime
now and come again to study and to
feel the birch rod and the ferule to-
morrow. Sport boys, while you may,
for the morrow cometh with the kArch
rod and the ferule, and after that an
other morrow with troubles Of its own
Nathaniel Hawthorne.
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01
REDUCED RATES TO ATLANTA
Via Pennsylvania Railroad, Account of
National Conference of CharltiesJ
and Correction.

For the benefit of those desiring to
attend the National Conference of
Charities and Correction, to be held at
Atlanta, Ga, May 6 to II, the Penn
sylvania Railroad Company will sell
excursion tickets to Atlanta from all
stations on its lines, good going May
4 to 6, inclusive, and good to return
to reach original starting point on or
before May 16, at reduced rates.
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01
copyright, 1903, by c. B. Lewis.l
gEy1'A I'm Pox-co,.e bod d;nad 1uol1 q N

WAHE Bowsers had dined well and
M spent a pleasant hour after
ward. and Mr.. Bowser had
about finished his cigar and
his newspaper when he looked up and
said:
"Under the regime of forty years ago
these men who are squeezing the pub
lie with high prices for everything
would be hauled up pretty smartly."
He pronounced the word as if spelled
''reg-i-mee," and, without thinking
what it might lead to, Mrs. Bowser in
quired:
"Under the what, did you sayY'
"Under the regime. Wasn't my pro-
nunciation clearg'
''You don't get the word exactly
right 1t is pronounced 'razheem.'
what! Why, woman, you are way
off. l have been familiar with the
word for thirty years, and think
know how it should be pronounced. 1t
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01
Reason why.

Bertie-You don't call on Miss Love-
let's any more. Have you got over your
love for her?
Algie-No; her father has got over
his gout.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01
THE LARGEST AND MOST PERFECTLY EQUIPPED
Mail Order Service
PRESENTING UNE0uALED SHOPPING FACILITIES
FOR THOUSANDS OF ouT-oF-ToWN PATRONS.

thoroughly experienced staff Of buyers this department will
make selections and satisfaction will be
refunded We mail charges of the
all paid purchases and G. O. DPS for amounts aggregang
$500
Try system and will not only but have the
additional advantage of assomens equad in Newark
passed anywhere in the land Samples paid address
upon the receipt of postal card.
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01

The Junior Christian Endeavor Society
Of the Presbyterian church held very
pleasing entertainments in the church
on Friday evening entitled cinderella
in Flowerland." There was good at.
tendance and the affair proved a success
the little folks realizing about S65
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01

Mr.. Walter Gibbons. of Newark, spent
last Saturday, Sunday and Monday with
MS parents at 19 Spruce street. On Mon
day evening q number of friends gather.
ed and gave him pleasant surprise.
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01

The work of laying the water mains
mas been resumed another batch of
ltallan laborers having replaced those
whose recently struck. The last of the
new force arriv. d Saturday night.
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01

Harry M. George has resigned his posi-
tion as setretary treasurer of tho Dover
Trust Company. He is succeeded by
Il. W. Rosevear Mr. George will here
after be connected with Soaring & Co.,
bankers of New York
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01

The officers elected by the stockholders of
the Yankee Girl Knitting Mill Company
are; John J. McClimont, president;
W lIllam IL. Pierson, treasurer, and Frank
j. Keifel, secretary.
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01

William Coleman, of Newark, former
ly OF Dover died at his home on Sunday,
the 18th inst, after q brief illness The
remains were brought TO Dover on Wed.
nesday and inferred in ST. Mary's came-
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01

Payne & Son, the florists on East
Blackwell street, have been awarded the
contraot to lay out flower beds and keep
them In proper shape along the line of
the Lackawanna railroad. The territory
TO be covered by this firm commences
at Montville on the Roonton Branch and
at Summit on the old road and runs as
far west as Washington
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01

WnIIe OUT Tldlng last Saturday IN
company with friend, Frank H. Brown,
of Sussex street, met with what might
have proved a fatal accident. As it was
nothing more damaging happened than
the total wrecking of a new rubber tired
road wagon and the breaking of a set of
harness. Browns horse became frighten-
ed and tumbled down an embankment
Hill taking the wagon and its occupants
with him.
The Morris County chronicle., 1903-05-01

John w. Hurd has returned to his
home on West Blackwell street where he
will spend the summer He has been
spending the winter at Haddenf1eld.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06
WARSHIPS WILL
GO TO HONDURAS

Washington, Sept. 4-Disturbed con-
ditions in Honduras. growing out OF
the recent presidential elections have
caused certain American commercial
interests to appeal to the government
here for protection from anticipated
damages to their properties. Bonilla,
who was elected to the presidency Of
the country, has taken refuge on
Amapala island. where he Is organizing
force to displace the incumbent OF
the presidential office. Who refuses to
surrender the reins of power
The Navy Department. upon notice
from the State Department. is about to
dispatch Admiral Casey's squadron
from San Francisco to Amapala.
The purpose of the movement is dis
closed In the following order from Act
ing Secretary Darling to Admiral Ca
sey. dated to-day:
Confirming the departments tele-
gram of this date you will please pro-
coed with the vessels of your squadron
to Amapala, Honduras. The depart
ment is informed that revolution has
broken ont in Honduras and you will
confer with the United States minister
to Honduras and the United States
consul at Amapala in reference to the
protection of American interests in
Honduras"
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06
ARIZONA AND NEW MEXICO MAY
BE ADMITTED AS ONE STATE

The arrangement contemplates put
ting the capital at Santa Fe. which
would be concession to New Mexico.
1t is said that a bill embodying this
idea has already been drawn, and that
it may also provide for division Of
the new state when each has a popula-
ton of 100000 people each of the pres
ent territories becoming state.
1t is understood that some plan is on
foot as to Oklahoma. whereby Indian
Territory will eventually be added to
it. In the parleys about a compromise,
it is said that the idea. of adding In
dian Territory to the new state OF
Oklahoma in 1907 has been earnestly
pressed.
Senator Quay on Monday gave notice
in meeting of the agricultural COM
mittee that he might have some modi-
fication to make in his proposed amend
ment to the agricultural appropriation
bill. The committee therefore post
poned further consideration of the
amendment till Friday. That is inter
preted in some quarters as meaning
that efforts will be made to complete
the details of the compromise by that
date
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

Washington, Feb. 4.-Two new states
instead of three. On this compromise
the Senate deadlock, which has been
kept up so long by Senator Quay, bids
fair to be broken.
Oklahoma will be one state. Arizona
and New Mexico together will be the
other. under the name of Arizona.
What amounts almost to treaty of
peace was made yesterday by Senator
Quay and the senators opposed to the
statehood bill. Senator Quay's threat
to make the statehood bill an amend
ment to an appropriation bill had a
great tendency to bring the warning
factions together.
The Democrats of the Senate. accord
ing to an assurance from some of their
earnest statehood advocates. will not
filibuster against the program, al
though no general understanding ex-
lists in the matter, as some of the de-
tails are not yet settled.
1t is probable that the new state
made from Arizona and New Mexico
will be named Arizona. as that is re-
garded as more euphonious name,
whereas there has been considerable
objection to the first part, New"
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06
WOULD COMPEL COUNTIES 10
DEAL FAIRLY WITH THE STATE

Denver. Feb 4-The letter sent by
Mr.. Alexander to Senator Griffith. ex-
planning the purpose OF the proposed
amendment, wes as fol-
lows:
Hon Charles D. Grifdth. Senator of
the Eighth District, City:
Dear Sir-I transmit you under this
cover Senate concurrent resolution
Mo-. proposing an amendment to
section IL of article X. OF the constitu-
ton Of the state of Colorado concern
ing revenue, and in regard to same
l desire to say that the purpose of this
amendment is to base the state reve-
nue. upon the collections made by the
county treasurers throughout the
state. instead of upon the assessed
valuation as fixed by the different
county assessors For great many
years there has been controversy
between the different assessors
throughout the state as to which
county would assess property at the
lowest figure. There were two rea-
sons for this: One was the low amount
established by the state board Of
equalization, and the other that every
assessor was anxious to have his
county as low as possible on account
of the mills levy upon his assessed
valuation for state purposes. The
legislatures in the past have done
everything possible to remedy this
state of affairs. and the county as
SCISSORS themselves have endeavored
from time to time to reach agree
ments that would make each county
pay its just proportion due the state.
In my opinion this amendment will
end the controversy and remedy these
defects in compelling each county to
pay its fair proportion to the state
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06
HAYES KILLED
BY SNOWSLIDE

Denver, Feb. A special dispatch
from Silverton, Colorado. last night
says:
Yesterday afternoon about 1:30
o'clock Frank Hayes, superintendent
for the Big Five Mining Company. was
killed by a snowslide while going from
the company's mine to the office in
Howardsville.
Hayes had just gone over to the tun-
mel to put man to work on the mine
and while on his way back had to cross
over heavy drift some fifteen feet
deep. The first step he made into it
caused it to slide about fifty feet. COW
ering him. 1t was not discovered that
he was lost until the men returned
from work at 6 o'clock last evening.
The rescue party Immediately repaired
to the slide and commenced to dig and
probe and soon found the body. 1t
was only about two feet under the
snow.
Hayes leaves widow and four small
children, the eldest being six years Of
age. He had been superintendent here
for the Big Five company for the past
two years. He was successful as a
mine manager and was we'll liked by
everybody. He came here from Boul-
der, where his parents live. He was
thirty-two years of age.
Snow is still falling here and shows
no signs of abatement
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

A bill similar to tfak .yas INTRODUCED
in the New York Legislature, and the
passage OF the same Was recommended
by the Chamber Of Commerce of New
York City. ard recently a bill along
these lines has been passed in the
state of Oregon
Some of the counties have been as
sessing at only fifteen per cent on the
dollar Of the actual valuation; some Mt
twenty-five per cent. some at thirty
three and one-third per cent, some
at nifty per cent. and other couE-
ties upon higher valuations, SO that
you can readily see the inequality
and injustice that prevails Is between
different counties But should this
amendment be adopted il would COM
pei each county to pay its just pro-
portion of the taxes due the state. as
1t requires certain amount of money
to run each county every year. ard
if the revenue of the state Is based
upon the collection actually made by
the county treasurers there Is no way
by which any county could eyade its
proportionate amount that should be-
paid by it to the state.
1T is plain business proposition,
and as you are one of the representa-
tive business men of the Senate take
the liberty of sending this measure to
you. with the request that you do
all you can to have this resolution
adopted
Il shall be glad to appear before the
committee at any slime and furnish
any additional information that 1t may
desire Yours very truly.
SCHUYLER II. ALEXANDER.
Assessor City and County of Denver
or Arapahoe County"
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06
Proposed New state up North.

Helena. Mont. Feb. "A movement
is on foot, according TO a Glendive
special for the formation of Z new
state, to be called Montague, and
which is to be formed by segragating
that portion of Montana east Of the
Belt mountains and that portion Of
North Dakota west OF the Missouri
river. Glendive, being in the center
of this section. would be made the
capital of the new state. The new
state would have an area OF about 49,
900 square miles. and is a strictly
stock-growing section.
A meeting of legislators from both
North Dakota and Montana has just
been held In Glendive, and the pro-
ject thoroughly discussed. The prin-
cipal reasons assigned for the pro-
posed change are that the people Of
eastern Montana are dissatisfied with
the corruption In the western part.
while North Dakota men are dtsgust-
ed with existing conditions n eastern
North Dakota.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06
Bill for Homeopathic.

Denver. Feb. 4.-The homeopathic
doctors have petitioned the Fourteenth
General Assembly to set them apart
from the doctors of other schools and
give them state examining board of
their own. free from the interference
Of physicians of any other school. A
bill was introduced in the House some
days ago to establish the homeopathic
state examining board. and yesterday
1t was presented in the Senate. 1t
is claimed by the homeopaths that un-
der the existing statutes regulating
the practice of medicine in Colorado.
the homeopathic school is placed un-
der the domination Of the large allo-
pathic majority in the present board
Of medical examiners and that the per-
sistent efforts Of the allopathic school
to regulate, through legislation. the
practice OF all other schools and sys-
TENS, have become unjust and iutcl-
erable and should no longer be allowed
70 prevail.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

Nothing that has happened, how,
ever. has shaken Castro's sublime con.
ndenCe in himself
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

$4,000 from tenant to whom she
was kind. Paste this item up some
where SO that the janitor of your flat
will be sure TO see il.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

ABoston scientist has been trying to
find out what makes drunken men
see double. Heretofore it has been
generally supposed lha. it was the
stuff they drank.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

The Moroccan pretender says he
doesn't want the throne for himself
He probably wishes to reserve the
right to keep on pretending in case
the new arrangement isn't satisfac-
tory.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

The announcement of Prof Sor-
magni of Payia that he has diseoy-
cred the microbe OF hydrophobia is re-
spectfuliy referred TO those who de-
clare that there is no such disease as
hydrophobia
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

Inventor Edison declares that elec.
tricity will eventually Danish disease
and abolish the drug stores Mr.. Edi-
son is now looking for suitable name
tor his elixir
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

A member of the Missouri legisla-
ture on arriving at the state capital
proceeded to blow out the gas. But
he'll know more before the SESSION
ends.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

Sweden has two crematories. but
the average of cremations in that
country is less than one per annum.
The tauitorship OF Swedish crema-
tory would seem TO come under the
head Of light. easy jobs.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

It's strange that the anarchists who
want to get rid of young King Alfonso
haven't thought of sending him box
of doctCred candy.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

Time is money. A venturesome man
can get a thousand dollars by staying
four rounds with Jim Jefries.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

Publicity is suggested as a remedy
for trusts Yet the househoIders talk
more Of monopolies than of anything
else nowadays.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

Max. Nordau viii please accept the
thanks of American citizens for select
ing China as the scene of the final
great contest between the world pow
ers.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

The most consistent woman is al,
ways liable 10 ten something she
ought not to, if she gets real mad.
The Holly chieftain., 1903-02-06

A Missouri man has been arrested
thought II might burn II soaked in oil.