The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-01-14
The Nonpareil Man
Casually Observed.

Casually Observed. - r-'
Frank Munsey sees, nothing but opu-
lence for newspaper men. Frank has
been drinking. - %sr.- B.. 80 = a.@
Mr.. Marconi's wireless: telephone idea
is terrific. All your wife has to do is to
put it to her ear and if she has it tuned
right she may hear you say "Well let's
have one more all around and go home"
Then where would you be?
r. smoot Of Utah thinks an apostle or
two will not hurt the senate any. -~"
The senate is irritable because the
president wants:it to do something. To
do anything Is a breach Of senatorial
courtesy. ~::. 4. & ~.
quit smoking but-what 's-the-use" stage
yet? 80 Z T.r
Somebody has counted ee,ooo,o 900 germs
in one adult oyster. Several of the small
er gern1lets are thought to have been
overlooked in the hurry.
r. Mrs. Alice o'Conr1ors of New York has
lived to be 1o4 years old and has told
before me- said Mrs. O'Connor. Why
not try it?
DR.. Parkhurst, in71'New York, paused
from his sermon a while the other Sun
day to denounce the. "deadheads and
dr1fters' who come in and occupy the
seats paid for by other men and drop
nickel into the contribution box, imag-
lining that they had discharged their OBJ
legation with 5 cents in current money.
If DR.. Parkhurst had been in charge Of
the temple about the year A. D. 80 or
near it, the widow who dropped in two
mites that made a farthing would have
been promptly hustled out Of the sane
tuary by the ''sextant" and four polite
ushers. - =
The Strange Story of the Meddywob-
blybiter printed in this column yesterday
derland that we would tell the story told
her last summer @by Teary Tank, the
tramp, of his strange society adventure
In Tangletown just north Of Hennepin
avenue and lying between that thorough
fare and the st. Louis tracks. The Tank,
as he is known along the Minneapolis &
st. Louis road, usually gets around un-
der the Bryn Mawr bridge about the time
the grass turns green and the dandelions
| throw their first line Of yellow along the
south side Of the banks. Alice and the
children were goinsY lover into aBryn Mawr
to pick the flowers when. Tearye sat up
! and said: Hello. childun, ye. haven't
| noting to eat, have ye?' >%'
The children gave a frightened chorus
| of Noes" and the Tank said:n. -: % ~:
t'Now dat's too bad. If I he'd a sand
which an a slab o pie. I could tell We
the best story We ever laeerd. AS 1t, is,
feel too faint for 'conseckertive nara
| tion.' = :.
| You wait here, Mr.. Tramp" said Alice,
and I'll go up and ask the cook"
the cook was large-hearted that day,
ish handout and feeling much better. -
| You see girls he said, as he brushed
up the crumbs and threw them into his
mouth. Il used to have seven cl1ildun me-
self, all young, but they took to society,""
The Tank dropped a tear and the little
girls all murmured sympathetically..
| wal as I was saying, I was hungry
| yest1ddy, so I left de tracks at de Lyn-
dale bridge and stepped over into Tangle-
town to git a bite from some back door.
In five minutes I didn't know where I
was for de houses was all big and de
dogs was ferocious an ~bloodt'i rsty, wen
suddintly de front door of large pre-
tentous-lookin' house opened and I was
beckoned to come, in. OF course. not
having brekfusted, I went, not fearin'
tieves nor yit blacknailers. AS stepped
: inside I says to de" John Henry in livery
clothes:
us brekfuss served?''
J. "Step inter de dinin' room" SAYS he
an Teary Tank steps right in, not carin
much for ceremony wild his vest loose
Wot was my surprise t. see a company
O. swells and their loidies standin' at dc
table wit glasses in dere hands. The
John Henry ushered me in an says in
loud, vibratin' tones:
"'Teary Tank, de Tramp
de swell mob near de head of de table
beckons me to approach and waves me
Into de great big chair at de head of de
table. I was too dazed to object, so j
i TUX de chair and dey all lifted dere
glasses and de swell mob he says, Here's
/ to Teary Tank and they drank de booze
wit great latter and much clinkin' ;o
I glasses. - So NJ
den de swell mob makes a speech an
says in effect, Now; we've danced al
u night and de parties haven't made u,
j dere minds yet, wy not let Teary Tanl
settle de questun? ~. e y
AT dis dere was great laughter anl
! applause and everyone agreed. I set der,
jest dazed wen de most beaucheful lady
stepped out and TUX my hand an say
to me, o, Mr.. Tank, I can't tell, bu
witch of dem two gentlenans shall &C
cept in marriage 2 Or sonnet ing like dat
Il Den she pointed at two young felley
who stood up vile all de rest o. de com
pany set down. An as she pointed t,
. dem an as all de folks looked at dem
she whispered to me kind of on de side
YOU see. de tall one.'
Den I ris up an pertended to shut M
lamps an TUX her hand and ran wild m
other hand at me forehead like de mind
readers does, an pushed aside de wron,
man an put her hand in de hand of d
tall feller, see? Me all the time pertend
in to be in trance.
Den dey all just hollered and clappe,
dere hands and de tall man give me hi
!. sparkler on his finger and de rest of ZEN
gives me ten dolleri bills and such stuff
, and de Teary Tank has big breakfas
q and wen, he gets trough, de company,
all gone and de lights was extinguishe,
an was shown out de door.
II fought marked de house, but darl
dat Tangletown! never could find /
agin.'
Then the Tank arose, stretched him
self and moved off up the track, and tn
children all said:
Wasn't that wonderful"
"A. J. R.
Courts and Mob Law.
Vermillion Is. Do Republican.
a The two bank robbers under sentenc
of death for killing the sofficer in Buen