The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-11-13
ALL ABOUT KISSING
THE DICTIONARY DOES NOT DE-
 FINE IT SATISFACToRHY.
Japanese and the South Sea Island CTS the Only Nations That Do Not Indulge-The Romans
 Had Three Kinds.

London Free Lance
 Kissing Is c science . convention. an eth. nolosicai trait and many other things
 This is not very clear. but those who have endeavored to explain all that underlies it have written bulky volumes sufficient in themselves to hil the shelf of fair-sized library.
 Mr. Squeerss educational method was as every student of Dickens knows. at once di- rect and uneQuivocal. He didn't bother about books or professional disquisitions. To such of ms pupils as had an inquring mind on the subject his injunction was: Learn to spell 1t. and then go and do 1t. and then you II Know all about itv A process which if Mir soueers's pupils grew up all other people grew up, they would undoubtedly exploit. At the tender period at which the advice was received the trouble involved in the spelling was probably far greater than the after dem onstration of the effect.
 But kissing Is not always unattended with Victoria's accession, Thomas Savuland was uneanant enough to bring an action against Miss Caroline Neuton for having bitten piece out of his nose when he attempted to Kiss her in joke. The. judge held that he tried 10 Kiss her in earnest, and laid 1t down as definite ruling that when a man kisses wo- man against her will she is fully entitled to bite his nose. If she pleases."
 This ruling stands. and so those who havt not yet learned that kissing is no joke hat
 
 dictionary has defined kiss as "A pres sure of the mouth against the body" but this is spiritless, even if accurate.
 It would be just as satisfactory to define a picture as "a pressure of paint against can vass.' It leaves untouched the whole indefin- able pleasure of kissing, the fact that 1t l indefinable being, perhaps. its best excuse. as 1t is Mir. Squeerss justification
 Our allies, the Japanese, share with the South Sea Islanders the unique distinction of heinz 10 On1 pat fO whom kissing Is un- known. If, however the new treaty leads to much practical intercourse. 1t Is fairly certain that Jack ashore tin Japan) will teach the geisha how much they have yet to learn, and will perform in reality what was performed ever so many nights for our amusement at Dsly's Theatre
 It is almost impossible to subdvide the rious kisses which Is obliged to give in ones lifetime, all of winch are very different from the kiss one gives ones best girl
 You are bound to kiss your maiden aunt. or your mother-in-law. your friends new baby. There are kisses which you give. we'll because you have to. and kisses which you give as you cast bread on the waters, hoping that they will return to your after as few days as possible and not in kind.
 The Romans had three kinds of kisses. which they termed oscula. basia and suavia. Martial, when he returned to Rome after a few years absence, so deuged with "suavia'' that he wrote furious epigrams about them to stem the flood of admirers. Lieutenant Hobson. in our times. was almost similarly overwhelmed. In the German dictionaries there are defn- tiens of some thirty different sorts of kisses. in addition to the world wide "Liebes Russ. |" which every one. except the laps and the South Sea Islanders. fall into the habit of giv- ing. and taking, quite easily.
 Another kiss. which one might call the dip- lomatic kiss, is reserved almost exclusively for royalties. This is always seized on by the illustrated papers as good pictorial copy but the artist has not yet been caught who has managedw to invest the function with that ideality which would successfully hide it's clumsiness,