Oxford eagle. (Oxford, Lafayette Co., Miss.) 1876-current, 1903-09-17
"THEy SAY"

bic for the following. He asserts
that at a recent church meeting
in his town the master of cefe-
monies made the following an
nouncement: Miss Bates viii
sing, oh that had an angels
wings that ! might arise and fly,
accompanied BY the minister.
An exchange Of a recent date
tells of a boy entering a car and
leaving the door open behind him
when an old man sitting near him
Numbered: "Were you brought
up in a barn? Shut that doorl
The boy did as he was bid, but
the tears were seen to trickle
down his cheek. There, there,
never mind, lad, of course you
were not brought up in a barn.
"That's just it," blubbered the
boy. 81 was, and every time |
see a white mule it brings it all
back to me-
A Yellville, (Ark.) girl borrow
ed q copy of the recent novel,
"The Spenders," from a young
man of her acquaintance. When
she returned the volume the
young man was not at home, 50
she gave it to his sister to give to
him. That evening the sister, in
the presence of the rest of the
family said: RAY, Alice re-
turned your 9Spenders' today"
The old man looked puzzled, but
waited until he had his son by
himself and then put him or the
rack, by asking: "Ray, what in
the thunder was Alice doing with
your suspenders."
The editor of the Texas Broncho
has discovered that there is a
wide difference between the
school books of today and those
of a long time ago. He says
when he first went to school he
read as follows: "See the COW.
Is she not nice? Can the COW run
as fast as the horse? No, the COW
cannot run as fast as the horse
But the up-to-date would read il
about thusly: Gee! look at the
COW! Isn't she a beaut? She's
a corker. Can the cow get &
move on herself? You bet She
can. Can she hum it like the
boss? Nit, she amt in it witt
the hcss."
A Kansas girl who was abouI
to graduate was given the theme.
Beyond the Alps Lies Italy,
and this is what she had to say
81 don't care a cent whether Italy
lies beyond the Alps or even in
Missouri. | don't expect to sci
the river afire in my future ca
reer. l am glad have a good. a
very good education, but | am
not going to misuse it by writing
poetry or even about the future
woman. It will enable me to cor
rect the grammar of any lover
may have should be speak OF
'drog' in my presence, or say he
had went somewhere. 1t will also
come in handy when want to
figure out how much soap can
get for three dozen eggs at the
grocery"
81 was suffering from rheuma-
tism in my knee, a while back"
said the old gentleman, land
bought some liniment that was
recommended as a speedy cure.
1t had to be rubbed in by the fire
every night and morning. / rub
bed faithfully for a few weeks,
and was entirely well. l was
giving the liniment all the praise
when / found out that / hadn't
been using the liniment at all, but
some lime water my wife had put
in an old liniment bottle. I've
just about reached the conclusion
that its the rubbing in that does
the work, after all. And the some
thing is true in other lines. It's
not the great advantage we have
that makes US wise or great, but
what we learn and get well rubbed
in the memory, that is of most
use to u.s.
GIVE just had a heated discus
sion with a politician said a
lady, sin regard to taxation with
out representation. ! don't care
to vote men into-office, but l don't
think it just for a woman to be
gagged when it comes-t to voting
on municipal affairs, and she a
tax payer. The politician says
that mo woman under the dignity
of a queen should have q voice at
the polls or hold office" ssThen
he, like others of his kind, as
eends the rostrum, mounts his,
steekof fancyandgallantl asserts
that every American woman is a
queen. If that is SO, in a spread
eagle speech, why is it a farce
when it comes to a woman voting
on sewerage, street lights and
other municipal matters that
bleed the property holder? Seems
to me that women are not the
only bundles of inconsistency
composing society,""