davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12

Flaherty," said Mrs. Schlitz. II dink
you forget he promised to preak your
little Tommy's neck if he came oop
those stairs again.
1--WE done the same meself manny's
the time," said Mrs. Flaherty. ''Tom.
my's a torment and trile even to
me. Me hearts broke wild him. And
the poor ould sinner is kaping the
babe from goin' to a. home. I'd hate
to have one of me own go to home,
I can tell you that, Mrs. Schlitz."
Strange to say, the child lived and
fattened under the care. of the old
man. Day times he rolled on the
dirty floor of Mrs. Flaherty's kitchen
with little Dan and a NANCY dog that
belonged to the children. At night
he returned to the one spotless room,
where he cuddled and cooed in the
old mans arms and brought his in
fantile graces to cheer a hitherto
barren life. Flies in bottle amused
him by the hour, or he played in the
down with his little hands. He knew
no fear, and all the world was his
friend. His sunshine filled the life
of the old man and Overfowed into
all the homes in the tenement. Thus
it was that his digestion was nearly
ruined by surreptit1ous sticks of dirty
candy from the corner grocery, while.
a lovely disposition caused him to be
surfeited .byz caresses from all the ma
tionalities that =dwe1t together with
more or less harmony under the same
roof. Old Jim worshiped him. His
keen eyes softened when he looked
at him, his gruff voice took on new
tone, and Mrs. Schlitz said: "He vas
quite agreeable since dot baby came"
But one night as Jim neared home,
returning from the foundry, he saw.
an engine at the hydrant belching
smoke and steam. A vague fear filled
him. He hurried on as fas as his
withered old legs could carry him.
Other engines puffed along the street,
water. ran in big streams through the
gutter. A = hook and ladder truck
dashed round the corner changing fu.
riously. Jim pushed his way through
the crowd. i; was the tenement that
was burning: " - p ~ ',''.>.. r.. :.
Keep back, you old fool, you've
got to get out OF the fire lines"
roared a fireman. Jim glared at him
and ran on. The stairs were flied
with firemen, pipes and running wat
er: Smoke was driving them back.
Jim pushed on. do you know ii
they got out my 5aby!" he croaked,
- y dunno, J guess 50. Which door
do you live on?" answered the half
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12

and spectators came from a distance
to offer ground-foor shares in gold
mines and oil wells.
She had the best pew when she
went to church, the politest attention
when she called at the postoflce or
the drygoods store, and everybody
made up his or her mind to be men.
toned in her last will.
The woman lived in clover for. five
years and then died., The term "clo.
yer" should be interpreted to mean
that so many custards, pumpkin pies,
glasses of jelly, jars of preserves,
fresh eggs, baskets Of fruit and spring
chickens were sent in to her by neigh
bors that she lived high without buy
ing much, and the women were SO
kind about dressmaking that her
clothes cost her next to nothing.
About so people were on the tip-toe
of expectation regarding the will. It
was the largest funeral ever known in
Branch county. The woman had made
her will and was dead, but it seemed
as If some folks hoped to come in for
something by attending the funeral.
There: was weeping at the house
something of a rivalry between Ger
tain women as to who shoulC weep
the hardest-and there was weeping
at the church. The mile-long funeral
procession moved at a slow and dig
nified pace and there was no undue
haste to get back home. ... .
The executors named did not live
in Rosedale at all, but they. we're on
hand to let the provisions of the will
be known.
'Firstly," read the document so
long waited for, II give and bequeath
to my brother Benjamin the sum of
$1,000, but as drudged for his family
eighteen years without pay, I direct
my executors to put in a. claim for
$500 as an offset. ;s.s~... s. -. ...sv =.
10 Mary Snowden, wife Of Ben,
jamin Snowden, who hardly ever gave
me q decent word until / got my
money, / give and bequeath my three
best; dresses, minus the sleeves and
buttons. :z,s> " :.s:> 1T ST i: N ~.
To Rev. Mr.. Johnson, with which
to build new Baptist church, / leave
the sum OF $4,000, but / direct that be
fore, coming into possession Of it he
shall preach ten. sermons, during
which no, one shall fall asleep. and
that he shall never attempt to sing II
public again" # s ..: I 80. ,5ss:s 9th .s;5s @ rs
There were fifty bequests in all. and
It must have taken Aunt sarah 4 yeal
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12
THE OLD MAN WAS WISE.
Had Good Reasons for Thinking Min
ister's Zeal Misdirected,

Had Good Reasons for Thinking Min.
ister's Zeal Misdireeted..
A clergyman who was carrying in
his hand small packet of handbills
the other evening was proceeding
down the village street when he en-
countered ar old parishioner who was
just hobbling home after his days
work.
"And now, John," said the minister
pleasantly, as he put one of the leaf
lets into the peasants horney hand,
I'VE are going to have missionary
meeting in the schoolroom tomorrow
evening and hope to see you there
There will, of course, be the usual
collection at the close in order to
raise sufficient funds to send out a
missionary to convert the South Sea
Islanders.
"Now, minister" remarked the old
rustic solemnly, "do as you like, o1
course, but if ye take my advice yell
be careful"
Indeed, John, I don't understand
you," said the minister wonderingly
"Weel," continued the old villager
''it's like this. When they South Sea
Highlanders ha' been converted
therell be more money wanted tc
build a church, then there'll be the
minister to provide for, and presently
curates' salaries to be thowt Of
as weel as choir excursions every
year; then think of what it'd cost fol
coal, clothing and blankets to be given
away to the poor and INDECENT al
Christmas time. tell zee, zur, unless
ye can see yer way clear to be con
tinually providin' money for all these
here things ye'd best be careful anG
leave very weel alone.'
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12
CATERING TO The WOMEN.
Sarah Grand Tells a Witty Story OF
Rival Churches. -.

Rival Churches.
At the Whitefriars' club in London
Ambassador Choate proposed a5toast
to t1sovran woman = at a. recent s1tadies'
banquet, and !. to this toast Sarah
Grand replied. Her reply was witty
Among other things she said:
1T is good of you to set apart as
you do here, one day year for WON
en-. It is also wise of you to do this,
To cater to the ladies is never a
waste of time.
However, there is such a thing as
offensive and inapt catering to the
ladies, and I recall a case in point
There were two rival churches in a
small inland town, and whatever one
church did, the other endeavored to
surpass. Both were In course of rem
ovation one summer, and, as the work
went on, they watched each other
anxiously, to escape being outdone
"Two spies from the first church
visiting the second as the renovations
neared their end, saw painted above
the. chancel the motto, Good will tC
men,
'Ha,' they said, this won't do. We
have no motto over ou chancel. We
must get one, and one that beats ou,
neighbor's here
Accordingly they placed above
their own chancel the words, Good
will to women And that was case
of catering to the ladies which was
hardly apropos. Detroit News-Tri
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12
NU1KKR Is.

to study them out to her satisfaction.
She had about twenty relatives, mono
of whom had shown her -luch con-
sideration during her days of loneli-
ness and hard work, and while she
had left bequest to each and every
one it was under such conditions that
none could accept. Every woman in
the village who had ever rubbed her
the wrong way was duly remembered,
but little good did it do them.
The only bequest without proviso
read:
ITO Job Sanderson. the village
cooper, who once helped me over a
mudhole without asking me why l
never got married, and who didn't
recommend cure for freckles and
wrinkles, bequeath the sum of $4,000
and may it do him much good"
The residue of her estate, which
meant all but the $4,000 above named.
was bequeathed to a charity and went
there, and then the smile on Aunt
Sarah's face as she lay dead was ex.
planned.
Before the reading of the will it was
whispered that she had been talking
with the angels. After the reading it
was announced in loud tones that the
angels were somebody else-some
body with tails and hoofs.-Cyrus Der
ickson in Boston Globe
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12
Aunt Sarah'S Will

Aunt Sarah Snowden had never
married, and furthermore she had al.
ways been q burden on her relatives.
That Is to say, she had worked about
twice as hard as any paid hand for
her board and clothes, and was still
at It when she was SO years old.
She was called "Aunt'' as a term Of
derision, and as she was irascible and
sour tempered her life was not over
burdened with sunny days. At so she
was expecting nothing but to drudge
along for the rest Of her days and be
hown as poor relation, when a
most unexpected event happened.
AT 80 years OF age Aunt Sarah had
almost been engaged to an old bache-
lor. She had come so near to it that
he had seen her home from church on
several occasions and "sat up with
her in the evening: She had also ac-
conpanied him to a circus and a camp
meeting, and. q, marriage might have
resulted had they: not fallen into a
ever some trifing matter. ,~;.>~ :.
Both we're 'tsao6j tsot' IT, ii 6eir opinions,
and after some hot words the bachelor
withdrew and left the maiden all for.
lorn. He, passed out of her sight to
die twenty years later and leave her
100000 by will.
The news Of Aunt Sarah's windfall
threw the hamlet OF Rosedale into q
tlutter that did not quiet down for
months.
OF course nine-tenths of the people,
including her brother Ben and his
wife, hoped 1t wasn't true" but law
yer came on to prove her claim, and
finally hand her. over the cash: and
then ninetenths of the people made
a Lightning change. From being the
drudge Of the family aunt Sarah was
exalted. to the post Of guest.
That $4,000 looked bigger than
Tay1or's hill to the farmers and vii
layers, and it was an astounding thing
that it should come to q little old wo-
man who wouldn't know what to do
with 1t: !"
In one week everybody who knew
the old maid had called to congratu-
late and advise, and inside of another
at least a score Of people who had
never spoken q word to her called to
borrow or to interest her in plans and
schemes
From brother Ben who wanted to
build new barn and buy four more
cows, to Rev. Mr.. johnson, who had
been for years hoping to raise enough
money to build a Baptist church;
there was some one after portions OF
that money day and night.
Aunt Sarah did not lose her head.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12
The Sacrifice.


Desert with your fiery heart ,~
And your hot, red sands that eat the
sun,
Take your primeval sacrifice,
The life-drops Of another one!
SO death and hate have battled long
In mortal conflict on your breast,
And here In blood your sons have sealed
Their heritage Of wild unrest.
They steal like phantoms through the
dawn,
Like desert lizards do they bide,
Like desert demons swarm the path /:
Where e'er the White Intruders ride
-+ +.>.1 u = t3''r >rtN' - ~. = - - T..
Their eyes are keen, their rifle balls r,
Fly true and bear their VENGEANCE far:
They fade like shadows and they rise ~,
Like the sand devils that they are. :"
IT'S over, and the cayalcade.
With sated vengeance in their eyes,
Ride on and leave the Aztec god -. -
To claim his human sacrifice. y :,
Wallace Irwin, in Sunset Magazine for
June. So =: -
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12

He Wanted to Have the Names Of Al
the People Changed.

the People Changed.
The first crank to maze his appear
ance at the White House since the re-
turn of the President, says the Wash
ington Star, went to the executive of
fce on Monday One of the door
keepers quickly came to the conclt
sion that the man was muddy" in Sc
cret service parlance, and turned him
over in an adroit manner to a secret
service officer. The officer soon found
the mans story. 81 want to see the
president to have the names of peo.
pie changed" the man confidentially
Informed the secret service officer,
land the president must issue an or
der to do this at once. l came here
all the way from Chicago to see that
this thing is done properly. Just
look at the way people are named.
Here are men in the undertaking bust,
ness bearing all kinds of names. Ev-
cry man in that business should be
named Coffin. Every man in the
wood business should be named Wood.
All the grocers ought to. be named
Butter or Lard or called by the. name
Of the goods sold in Their stores: Here
are dry goods dealers bearing all
kinds of good names, when they ought
to bear the names of Thread, Buttons,
Cambria, Calico and other things. It
is a shame the way this thing is done
now. The wrong naming of people
leads to trouble and business con.
fusion and there is only one safe
thing-that is, to change the name
You see that steam roller standing
there in the White House grounds.
Well, that roller ought to furnish the
name of the man that runs it. He
ought to be named Roller. The man
who is putting down these asphalt
pavements in the grounds ought to be
named Asphalt"
BY this time the crank had been
slowly escorted across the grounds by
the secret service man and had re-
ceived an intimation that the presi.
dent would prefer that he submit his
plans somewhere else at this time
The man was not arrested.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12
A Faintinq-Room.

One o4 the latest ideas in New York
Is room to which ladies can retire il
they feel faint and go OF in swoon,
amid the mos. artistic and beautiful
surroundings. Several restaurants
and tea shops have adopted this idea
and members Of the fair sex whose
nerve force is run down can find in
the fainting-room a soothing resting
place. The room is partially darkened
and the prevailing color green, whilst
1t is: liberally decorated with various
sweet-smelling flowers. Comfortable
sofas and chairs are provided for the
"fainters," and q lady doctor is KEEP,
on the premises should her service,
be required. London yTib-Bits.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12
"Old Jim"
. .
Q .

baby changin' it's clothes as handy
as any woman, and the little white
baby a-cooin' away up into his black,
wrinkled face, like as if he was it's
guardian angel. And he, the cross,
old creetur, a-smilin', yes, actually,
a-smilin'. Why, it tux me aback so,
l offered to kape it next day with me
little Dan. I'd just as soon have two
babies rollin' under me feet as one" !"
"You vas Elm goot neighbor, Mrs.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12
*
Terrible Risky.

! George Dewey, secretary of the Nj.
agara Fire Insurance company, tells
of. an old woman. who called on ar
agent of the company down South to-
arrange for insurance. on their house
and furniture. 1--WE haven't had no
insurance for i've years. she ex-
planned. 'sWe hev jes' been dependin'
son the Lord; but says to- my Old
man, Il says thet It's terrible risky,
I seys. New: York Times.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12
GRAND AARIAs, MINNESOTA SEPTEMBER H. 1904

choked fireman. But. Jim was gone.
Just then there came a crash. The
roof fell in. And Mrs. Flaherty walled
from the opposite pavement, "AhH
what'll I do whin ould Jim comes
home and I have to tell him the fire.
men brought out the baby smothered
intirely?"
But old Jim had gone home. New
York Times.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12
= g57T7 2 -. .IS.-E- - '-r3S
:; Mrs. Payne an Invalid.

Mrs. Payne, wife Of the postmaster
general, expects to remain In wash.
ington with her husband through the
greater part Of the summer. she
has been an invalid Tor many yeafs
and still suffers q great deal from rom
rheumat tisn. 0 81
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12
What was it?

is whether to give it anything but
milk and how to put it's clothes on
"Ah! ye helpless man. I'LL come up
right away as soon as do me
Dishes" =. -. >. Is 49,
And the next day. she confided. to
her neighbor, Mrs. Schlitz: Eye ought
to Of seen that room. Neat as wax,
me dear. To be sure, there was moth
ingg much in It. The ould crusty
crsstur bent double over the little
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12

did not expect to live over four or
i've years at most. The Baptist
church, brother Ben and all the rest
must wait for her demise to benefit.
This was looked upon as a sinful
trick by some, and there were whis-
pered criticism, behind each door, but
aunt Sarah was obdurate, and there
was nothing to do but wait.
Thirty thousand dollars is a sum to
bow down to. The people bowed
down. Aunt Sarah was flattered and
cajoled..
Two or three old widowers came
"spookfng around" to talk marriage.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12

Expsctins nothing but to drudge
along for the rest Of her days. 7 !
She bought herself . new alpaca dress
and bonnet Of a style not over three
years Old, and set up house usekeeping.
for herself. She neither gave away.
nor loaned dollar, but after . while
made an announcem ent. ss 5S.E :ss.s s5= IN
Az the money had come to her by
WILL i should 50 ID others II the
same way The doctors had told her
,thAt 1he had q wsak heart, and. was
liable to drop dead any hour, and she
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1903-09-12

Gossip is the ammunition used ii
the gun OF idle curiosity. sss5.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-08-04
RARE COIN
TAKEN IN

A very rare coin in an excellent
the box office of the Orpheum last
Saturday night. 1t was rendered in
payment for a dress circle seat for
the play In Sleeps Clothing and
was accepted with other coin for a
two-bit piece. Gerald Ryan, the
young man who deals out the tickets
at the box office, is very much inter
ested in old monies and has a very
large collection at his home in the
southern part of Australia. His col
lector's fever at once went up to
somewhere about 173 % degrees when
he caught glimpse of the silver
piece and was most pleased to add
rare coin to his valuable possessions.
The coin is an old Spanish piece
about the size of a quarter of dol
lar. On the diverse side is the an
cient Spanish coat of arms encircled
with the words "Carolus HID. c."
On the reverse is a quartered shield
the opposite angles enclosing a castle
apd lion, upright. The margin be-
tween this and the edge contains the
Latin, 'Hispaniarum Rex and the
date 1856" The edges of the piece
were never milled. It's thickness is
about half that of our quarter
While this old Spanish piece may
not be of any great intrinsic value it
adds much to the value of a collec-
ton of coins and monies which are
now out of date.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-08-04
Visits 9 DisorderIy House.

George Davis visited the notorious
Magoon blo..k during he dark hours of
Sunday nighe, and his sensibilities nIust
have been shocked for as a result of
the visit Jack Mitchell, colored man,
was in the Police Corrt Yesterday on
the charge of profanity. A policeman
accompanied the judge so that he was
able TO get around fairy well in the
dark. The man arrested also had two
bottles in his possession and admitted
that he might have been a trife out Of
sorts during the evening. After con-
tfnuing the case Davis afterwards re-
Tented and the colored man was reIeas-
ed from custody.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-08-04
.THREEFOLD
CATALOGUE
Laid Before Governor
BY Superintendent
Cooper.

Superintendent Cooper submitted Il
| the Governor in council yesterday a re
port from the Board of Agriculture and
Forestry. IT, mentioned the employ
| ment of Professors A. Koebele and r.
C. L. Perkins as entomologist and chief
assistant respectively, with Professors
Kirkaldy and Terry of London as their
respective assistants. The report of
Prof. Perkins on the leaf hopper, just
handed in, is to be published as an Off
cial bulletin by the Board.
Regarding the St Louis Exposition
Mr.. Cooper reported that w. w. Harris
had charge of the forestry exhibit.
Professor ]. E. Higgins Of the agricul-
turaI exhibit and Professor Shorey of
the preserving work. F. L. Winter had
been asked to get up a fibre exhibit.
Mr.. Mcclure was attending to the col
lection of articles relating to ancient
Hawaii.
Superintendent Cooper also had bust
ness from the Public Works Depart
ment before the Executive Council.
Approval was given a request to Land
Commissioner Boyd to turn over land
required for the site of the new Nc
Gregor's Landing on Maui.
The proposal for an exchange of pub
lie lands at Kaipapau. Oahu, for land
needed for widening Fort and Kuakini
streets with Jas. B. Castle was also
The Superintendent was authorized |
to transfer to the Committee on Pro- |
motion and Publicity sufficient Gov |
ernment furniture to furnish the tourist |
reception quarters in the Alexander |
Young building.
A proposition was submitted to ar
.ange a land exchange with the trus-
ees of Oahu College. They want lands
n Vineyard street and the Government
wants in return land on the Eva side
# Miller street to widen that thorough
are. This proposition was referred
Jack TO Mr.. Cooper for report on the
ands in question.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1903-08-04
YOUNG MEMS
INSTITUTE

Damien Council 563. Y. NJ. l., had an
installation last night with the follow
ing program:
March-Lot Kaulukou
Introduction of Sup. Pres. F. j. Kierce
Deputy Supreme Pres. w. s. Elem
ing.
Installation of Oficers-Sup. Pres. F.
]. Kierce.
Song-W. S. Ellis.
Remarks-Sup. Pres. F. ]. Kierce.
Piano Selection-Lot KauIukou
Remarks-Mr. H. z. Heiton.
Quintette-Ellis Bros GIee Club.
Closing Remarks-Deputy Sup. Pres.
W. s. Fleming.