The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1903-05-29
QUEER MR.. BINDERS
[Original. ]

blIiluslo, viz
you wear"
Glad you like it, said binders,
lighting up. Il don't value it very
highly myself"
"What II you take for it,
Take for it? Why, what could it
benefit any one but me-"
That isn't the question. You say
YOU don't value it. | would like to
buy it,"
when would you want it:'
buyer thirty-which, being inter
pretcd, means any time within thirty
days"
what II you givc:'
"A hundred dollars"
"Ry Jovc. that's a good sum-" And
! Binders began to think what he could
do with a hundred dollars.
"Oh, | see YOU game he said pres
| emily. you'll call for it by sections.
| That would leave me in Il beautiful
Tx, wouldn't it,
"Tll call for it all at once"
After rummaeing his brain to find Il
catch somewhere Binders gave me a
bill of sale for his beard-to be called
for anywhere within thirty days or
forfeit double the price.
Now there was Il reason for all this
which binders did not understand. He
was the weaithiest bachelor in the
town as well as the stiugiest. One day
q number of ladies came to me and
asked me if | could suggest Il plan by
which they could get a donation out Of
him for n benevolent enterprise. | told
them l would think it over.
Flinders was a pushing fellow not
only in business, but socially. He was
q self made man, which was to his
credit, but he didn't know what the
word mOdestH meant. His assurance
in maxim. his way into society" was
only equaled by his embarrassment
whenever he ~blundered into n breach
of etiquette. He was in constant ter.
ror lest he should appear Il some un
fortunate position.
The ladies were getting up Il ball for
the benefit Of their charity and had APP
pointed me one of the foor managers.
| wrote requesting that my name be
dropped and Binders put on in it's
stead. This was done, and Binders
was so delighted that he at once sent
the ladies a check for $40.
You are very bright said the pres
ident of the society to me. 1T is a
wonder that we didn't think of that
ourselves"
POSSIBLY Mr.. Binders donation may
no fDp t1pp, wartlV Of hiS social ala-
vation," | replied, than a niggardly
SO. Let US watt
On the night of the ball Binders was
on hand Respondent in evening dress,
wearing the lowest cut white waist
coat, straw cOlored gloves and a pale
green necB de that some wag had told
him was tle very latest thing for balls.
No Indian chief decorated with stove
pipe hat and soldier coat had ever
borne himself more proudly. | watch
ed him till his self satisfaction had
reached its height; then. putting on
my hat and coat, | went out. Tel min
!. utes later an attendant handed him a
note from me written from Il neigh
boring barber shop demanding his
!. beard.
/. There was a look of extreme anxiety
! on his face as he came in; but, at
/ tempting to master it, he came up to
me with a laugh and, slapping me ia
, miliarly on the back. said confidently:
\ Its very cute of you, old fellow, aw-
/ fully cute. OF course you don't want
. your property now. You want a bottle
. of champagne. and you shall have it,
besides n good supper after the ball.
And now | must hurry back. The
president has doue me the honor to say
she can't get on without me-"
1T won't take long. Sit down in the
chair"
you really don't mean that you are
In earnest? Think how | would look
going back clean shaved"
You dom need to lose your beard.
There is the forfeit, you know"
Good gracious, man, the forfeit is
$780,
1T only rests with you, Binders" |
said resolutely, ito give me your beard
or pay the forfeit"
He looked into my eye and saw thai
l was not to be caioled or browbeaten
or in any way deprived of my advan-
tage. 1t alternative flashed through
his mind, and his love of money for a
time prevailed. He determined to re-
main away frOm the ball for the rest
OF the evening.
"All right" l said. What excuse
will you givc?"
suddenly taken ill.,"
l smiled.
Il suppose you'll knock down that
story and
1.-The whole thing will be all over the
ballroom in ten minutes"
He turned pale.
What III you take to settler" he
asked.
twill Binders, | don't want your
: beard or your money. Write a check
payable to the president of the society
for $500, and I'll call it square. You car
then finish the evening in a position
N for which you are so we'll fitted with.
IN out SO sudden a transition, and YOU,
1berality will be sounded by eyerv one