West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-05-21
A0g01IONn Lald Boomers.
How They Tried to Have Lot
Sale in Heaven.
Lawyers Association Has Experiences
Trying 10 Corner He'll.

Specially Reported for The Argus
Ting a-ling sounded the little silver bell
at the portals OF ST. Peters domain. His
Celestial Guard answered the bell. He
| found blue coated messenger boy standing
at the gate. carrying yellow envelope.
This for 81. Peter" said the lad. la
moment the Celestial Guard spoke to the
Lad; Enter 81. Peter is surprised you
got here during the present century. Did
you ay1r
No, ran. answered the messenger
boy. Tell that to Peter" replied the
Guard, and he will make you one of his
angels. II is not on our books OF messeu-
ger boy ever hurrying before
"But came from Morgantown. land OF
promise. in the beautiful valley OF the
Monoeahela. in the New Dominion. aud we
all hustle there.
Very good. answered the Guard.
Now take on your cap. We approach ST.
ST. Peters Place"
The Messenger handed Peter the yellow
envelope. The Saint tore il open hurriedly
scanned the contents. and then fell over In
faint His servants crowded about 10
revive him. This the message:
Morgantown w. Va. MAY isos
| Most Honored ST Peter.
We the undersigned most respectfully
petition and request that you give us an
option upon small corner OF your King
dom. We want to have lot sale.
We viii employ the Celestial Choir.
the Golden City Band, furnish free sand.
wiches and bring our own auctioneer along,
We have about sold everything down in
| our country into town lots. and we sigh for
more. Answer p. q.
AND EARTH BOOMERS.
ST. Peter soon revived and his face
glowed with pride instead OF anger. He
gazed at the young man before him with
evident peasure.
Young man." spoke Peter. You are
the frs, being from earth who ever reached
the inside of this Sacred Place. without
being tried by death ! admire your au.
dacity and shall not cast you into dark
ness bun will converse with you and bid
you take a message to you employers and
return 10 earth"
Thanks spoke the messenger but
please be quick. I'm in somewhat Of
hurry. have to go TO several OF the
plan. is and TO the Moon before return.
We Morgantowners want IL ALL"
80 so But first say to your employers
that we cannot permit lot sale here, for
all allo,tments have been made. But can
send them to Warmer Climate. with
letter of Introduction. where they may find
hundreds Of western land boomers and
many lawyers and others. aye some from
their own city doubtless. and there they
may have lot sales 10 their hearts content"
DO you mean Hell. sir1' asked the mes
senger cautiously
yes. my lad"
Then that's the best you can dor"
1T is replied ST. Peter.
Then just give me a written option and
lot sale privilege for 30 day. please. re-
piled the Messenger I'VE always do
things up in business like shape. Our peo.
pie are not afraid 10 tackle anything. and
think they will entertain your proposition
fayorably. Lots in hell with preferred
locations in the shade might be an attrac-
tive offer to many OF our people. Nothing
like making the bes, OF everything"
but my lad spoke the Saint your
company would be required to conduct the
sale in person. and be upon the ground
The messenger boy had his cap on and
was starting away.
Stay moment" spoke Peter smiling
Don't that prospect please your"
Not me. replied tho Messenger I'VE
may all be there soon enough. I'm off for
Morgantown. Thanks for your offer. but
we 60, ten lot sales In the next ten days.
| Bye bye
The boy disappeared. St. Peter smiled.
That's bright boy wish he we're
an angel murmured the Saint Peter to
one OF his Saints. we need more OF that
Morgantown push and snap up here. Our
people are getting slow and poky But so
few OF them come here. ah. so few OF them
come so few. so few. EM H.