The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-03-19

present. No doubt they came In fear
and trembling and ate with scant appe-
tite. Mrs. O. M. HoRD, the president OF
the club, tried to reassure the captives
and drive away their goosehesh. We
read with pride and satisfaction her
comforting prelude:
Welcome, gentlemen OF the Home Culture
Club We are here to do you honor We fuhy
realize that some men to business. some 70 pleas
ure take. but hope that on this occasion business
will be thrown aside and pleasure reign supreme
The club woman honou man. and why should she
MOTT He builds our citiesS our homes. churches
and schools. The whole external world. a. far
- II appears TO metropolitan eyes at least. Is the
handIwork of man. He bores into mountains.
swarms over the ocean. deves into the earth. dives
into the sea. while we follow at safe distance
We can hear those husbands hemming
self-consciously; see them throwing out
their chests and grinning with that
necessary fatuousness that marks the
face tickled. Watch a mans face when
you praise him. No matter what Of his
you praise, his wife, his baby, the cut
OF his trousers, his foresight In the stock
market, his article on the state OF the
country or the crisis, his collection OF
:. old silver or his game Of golf; you
will see q flicker Of smile, a ghost Of
grin, unconscious, irrepressible move
ments and lines about the mouth and
chin. II is given only to few buffers
to look supremely wise; and no man looks
wise when he is praised to his face. Paint
for yourselves the portraits Of the gen
tlemen Of the Home Culture Club at this
moment OF apotheosis as they see them
selves boring into mountains, swarming
over ocean, delving into earth, diving
into the sea, and perhaps plunging a
little into Wall Street.
P. S.-Paint the CONSERVATION and
horror on those faces when Mrs. HoRp
proceeded to substitute wormwood for
molasses. Full reports Of her speech
show that she is most sarcastic woman,
this quiet Mrs. HoRD. Think Of talking
to those poor Home Culture husbands
in this fleering, fouting, gibing style:
Man is indispensable to civilization; in fact he
Ia too capable. His abilities and energies over
power and discourage u. In his presence we are
seized with mental timldity and physical incapacity
When he is near We throw anything straight.
nor set an alarm clock, nor carve turkey, nor
drive nail. nor sct up a stove, nor perform any OF
the more delicate. dangerous or intricate ofnces
Of life for which nature has refused us the proper
faculties. We realize that you can do everything
better III an We con. but even we need mental and
phyScal exercise We don't want 70 be all clothes
and conscience. hence the women's clubs Of to-
day"
And now the mask was yanked on.
Mrs. HoRp called the roll, and each MEM
Der got I'D and ran a bare bodkin into
Mere Man. The scrapbooks were emp
tied Of their meanest things:
"A man puts his best foot forward; mule puts
his backward
-Aman Is never bored % long a. you talk TO him
about himself "a oaiumny. BY the way Many
men are Just a. tired Of themselves a. other people
are Of themJ
of all bad things by which men are cursed.
Their own bad tempers are sure the worst
Doubtless the ladies Of the Home Gull
ture Club know what h best for the in
struction and reproof Of their husbands.
Possibly these ladies arc really man
annihilatory in disguise. Evidently they
seek TO intimidate Mere Man and keep
him from marrying. Look at the Gov
ernor Of their own State, the fascinating,
the high-souled BAILEY. BAILEY prom
ised and solsmnly bound and Obliged
himself to got married II he was elected
Governor. But he has been % inundated
by the sarcasm OF the Home Culture
Club that he has given up all thought Of
marriage. He ID going to plough up the
half-acre OF ground in the rear Of the
Executive Mansion In Topeka, plant
garden truck. get up by sunrise and
hoe the garden before breakfast He
prefers Agriculture 10 Home Culture.
Nag Mere Man too much. and he sulks