The Washington times., 1903-07-14
Demure[y Takes IN the Sights,
But FieeS RrecipffateLy
Wben Her Escort Begins to
Root as Only a Fan" Can,
Senators Sho1U Another Sur-
prising ReDersal of Form.
Lee a Host in Himself.
The Baseball War.
The Smart Set.

The Smart Set.
1t was her first ball game. and It was
all so new to her. and she so pretty
too,
The crowded stand. with its long lines
OF eoatless. hatless. perspiring. yelling
fanatics. lounging back in their seats
with their feet elevated above their
heads. presented a scene strange and
weird to one of her temperament: a sit
uatiOn she could not take In at glance.
Daintily gowned in white frock. made
OF that soft. cIinging stuff. as soft as
the heart which beat beneath her bod
ice. she made her way daintily to her
seat. from which vantage point she cast
shy and furtiye glanees about her.
The utter lack OF conventionality was
the first point to appeal to this shy. ten
derly-reared and dainty miss. and the
srun shouts OF applause. or disapproval
hurled at player and umpire alike were
not the means of reassuring her that
she was Just exactly in the right place
Ere long her eyes caught the field, and
rested upon the players. lined up in bat
tie array. And then she timidly asked
question or two OF her escort. a fan
for fair. Who are those persons out
there?'' she lisped.
The players-goOd boy, Bill; take an
other one. and hit her in the nose" re-
piled her companion. all in one breath.
Hit her in the nose? Mercy! is this a
prize fight. and who is the poor woman
he is going to
Strike tuh," roared Silk o'Loughlin.
You are a robber." retorted the fan,
and l intend writing to Ban Johnson
about you and your raw work.
Then in a calm voice to his by this
time terrified companion. he said:
You know I never get excited at a
ball game; It is so hot. and then. again,
it is such deucedly bad form. don't you
know. Just look about you, and then
you can readily see that there are but
few of our set-A ball? Suffering
Jeh0ssophati Case Patten split the
plate with that ball and that Mutt that
mutton head. that thief oLoughlin
called IL a ball
Really. Mr.. -. l think you are mis-
taken, the object you pointed out to me
as the plate is intact. and | am quite
sure the bail didn't touch it, since that
person with the inflated plaster on his
exterior and the parrot cage over his
face received the ball in that sofa pillow
he wears upon his left hand. Surely
you are mistaken" said the tender
hearted little novice. ready at a mo-
ment's notice TO take up the cudRels in
defense of the much-maIigned umpire.
Then once more assuming his best
Connecticut Avenue air, the young gal
liant turned to his companion and said:
Il presume you will be leaving for New
port in a day or two? I will be along
in time for Larry Weirds canary birds
breakfast. which l hear is to be n swag-
ger affair. Well, did you ever, That
lobster at second dropped that dewdrop
and then went ZIP in the air and threw
the ball away. Anyone can tell he has
a glass arm
''Dewdrop? Up In the air? Glass arm?
Really Hr. --. you speak in riddles
Are you quite sure you feel we'll? Pos
sibly the heat Oh, do compose your
self.'' said the thoroughly aflrighted
young woman. for by this time her es-
cort was jumping up and down in his
seat waving the coat which he had shed
IN the excitement and yelling like a Co
manchs chief.
Run, YOU stringhalted spawned.
kidney-footed. wind-jammed. sprung in
thickness selling-p platter. you. Why don't
you run? Oh, you ice cart, You move
slower than a chess player. and / am
darned glad you are out" howled the
fan as poor old Bill Clarke putting like
porpoise was tagged out ~ third by
ten feet in his endeavor 10 stretch
single into triple. Then ne sank back
in his seat thoroughly exhausted and
turned 10 tell her all about it. But the
box was deserted save for his own ap-
Opicctic presence. and TO his horror he
caught a feetiug glance OF faint
streak OF white vanishing toward the
exit. at a pace which would have made
BIZ Clarke turn green with envy to see
she had lied. u was her hrst ball
game. and doubtless her last