davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08
F.sn WAS BADLY FOOLED.
Uncle Eph Was Ready for eusIn'
Though His Eyes Were Shut.

Though His Eyes Were Shut.
Uncle Ephraim had fished In
little river from boyhood. In his
age the habit overmastered him, /
he fished on. daily. notwithstand
there were. by popular consents
more fish lett in the stream.
Eph would bait his hook and thi
1t in, attend to the business in hi
for little while. and then go
sleep. He would sleep hours at til
and sometimes >all day. holding on
his fishing pole from mere force|
muscular habit.
One day, while he was sitting II
perfectly unconscious Of what
impending. a big catfish swan ID
the stream from some mysterious
ing place. grabbed the hook with
enous vigor, and started to SWEEP
down with the whole outfit.
But the jerk, the swish. the Cot
ton, aroused Eph's muscles ~
Of automatic action. before he ay
ened from his slumber. The mus
gave Z great jerk and landed the !
roid way back. twenty-five CT III
feet from the bank.
Eph awoke, looked around, say
struggling and Topping toward
river, got up. rubbed his eyes
sleepy bewilderment, grabbed the
and. while securing him by slippir
little willow through his gills,
him a bit Of salutary advice:
Look heah. you ole varmint.
n,ussen' find dis yeah nigrer's a
asleep. ef you does come erlong
IN i'm Wild IL eyes shet MON
tight"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

San Francisco, Aug. Capt. John
]. Pershing, Fifteenth infantry, leader
of the American expedition which
crossed Mindanao and brought into
peaceful relations with the United
States the Moros. who for 300 years
had opposed Spanish invasion. has ar
rived here from the Orient. He says
it is reasonable to suppose that all Mo
ros on Lake Lanao. about 100000 in
all, are now convinced that 1t is best
to be friendly with the United States.
The whole country is now open.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08
Escaped Prisoner Captured.

Kansas City, Mo-. Aug. ben W.
Starnes, the one-armed life prisoner
who escaped in a daring manner on
Saturday night last from the federal
prison ~ Fort Leavenworth. Kansas.
was captured early yesterday near
Richmond, Mo, after being shot in the
leg by one of posse that had been
chasing him for several days.
Starnes' leg was broken by the shot
and he surrendered without resistance.
although he was well armed. He was
returned to prison.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08
Earring. for Belgian Cows.

The cows In Belgium wear earrings.
This is In accordance with law, which
DEGREES that every animal Of the bo-
vine species, when 1t has attained the
age Of three months, must have In its
ear ring. to which is attached .
metal tag bearing a number. The OBJ
tect liz to preserve an exact record Of
the number OF animals raised each
year.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

Humanitarians would be happier
over the adjustment of the cudgel
and knout in the Russian penal sys.
tenn II there was not a new provision
for beating with birch rods up to 100
blows for slight offenses and mis-
demeanors."
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08
First Come, First Served.

We would rather sell our fine San
Luis valley lands to Colorado farmers.
Best water rights. fertile soil, low
prices. easy terms. II fasteners come
first-and they're coming fast-we will
sell to them. OF course Send for our
new booklet and see what you're miss
ing. The Colorado Bureau Of Immigra-
ton. GIG Majestic Bldg. Denver. Colo.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08
commsn Sense Court Decree.

A curious will case has been dsci
In Paris. A rich man we'll on in ye
married young woman and set
Ms fortune on her. Later he disc
cred that she had misconducted
self with another man almost 81
the day of his marriage. The b
killed him. His relatives brought I
to have the settlement set aside
the ground that the widow had
played the blacklist ingratitude tow
her late husband. The courts have
mitted the validity of the argum
and have set aside the settlement
favor OF the relatives.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

Before giving its unqualified ap-
proval to the agamo mermis culicis
the public will want to know some
thing about It, A microbe that is
capable of doing a New Jersey mos.
quito to death must be q rather ugly
customer himself
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

The fact that an opera singer
kissed Sir Thomas three times before
he suspected what she was about is
no sign that he means to desert the
yacht for the smack.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

The supreme court OF Minnesota has
decided that poker debts are not col.
1ectable, fact which we have known
ever since we began to sit into the
game
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

College students who rushed to
Kansas have now discovered that
helping In the harvest field is q great
occupation to read about.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

There were cries of "Vive Loubet!'
As the President of France rode
through the streets of London. He
probably is still wondering what the
enthusiastic people meant.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

This tendency toward consolidation
In financial circles is wonderful
thing. There is even to be a merger
OF the warning members of the Van
derbilt family.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08
600 REWARD 500.

The readers Of this paper will be pleased to Ian
that there is At least one dreaded disease thai
science has been able In all its stages and
that IL Catarrh. Halls CatarTh Cure Is the only
positive cure known to the medical fraternity.
Catarrh being . constitutional disease requires q
constitutional treatment. Halls Catsrrh Cure Il
taken internally acting directly upon the blood and
surfaces Of the systeua. thereby Destroying
the foundation Of the disease. and irving the
patient strength by building UP the constitution
and assisting nature in doing its work. The pro-
prieiorx have much faith in its curative powers
that they offer One Hundred Dollars for any case
hat II fails to cnre Send for list Of Textmonials
Address r. J. CHENEY CO.. Toledo. Ohio.
Sold by druggists. TIC.
Halls Family Pills are the best
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

1t was only the lamp that hit young
Willie X. Vanderbilt. How would he
like to get crack from the old buck
automobile itself?
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

The decision of a Brooklyn magis-
trate that for one woman to call an.
other an old maid is serious case
Of disorderly conduct increases the
swelling ranks of our Dogberrys by
one shining member.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

1t seems much more refined to lay
. small wager than to gamble, but
you can lose Just as much one way
as the other
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

1t cannot be denied that the emo
tional fervor of the compliments ex-
changed by kings. ministers. visiting
naval officers and others attests to the
stimulating qualities OF the cham
payne used on these occasions.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

King Peter has Just had birthday
We would strongly advise him to have
~ many Of them as possible at his
earliest convenience.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

When the prince of Wales departed
from the Kearsarge the band played
God Save the King" though just how
the prince knew that it was not play
ing America" we can't quite make
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

BE truthful, he honest, and perse
vere," says Senator Plat on his sew
entieth birthday.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

Again Santos-D umont in his airship
has circled the Eiffel tower without
humping into it. Now what will he fly
at next?
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

You never hear any one complain
about Defiance Starch" There is
none to equal it in quality and guam
tity. is ounces. 10 cents. Try 1t now
and save your money.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

II man could be as good as he
intends to when he gets married what
4 happy time women would have.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

The San Francisco man who has
been obliged to go into insolvency in
consequence of his unsuccessful at-
tempt to corner lima beans. realizes
that he didn't know them.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

1t is a mean woman who will asl
her late returning husband to pro
nounce one OF those Servian names.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

1t is to be hoped that none of those
Northumberland loaded fools will get
OF without few years in the peniten-
tlary at least.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

Anecdotes OF childrens smartness
are lot funnier when they are our
own children than when they are our
neighbors.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

II you don't get the biggest and
best It's your own fault. Defiance
Starch is for sale everywhere and
there IN positively nothing to equal
1t in quality or quantity.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

A New York woman lawyer has Just
been wooed and won by the attorney
whom she defeated in legal battle q
few weeks ago. There's man with
courage.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

There was time when, self re
specting woman coud manage hired
girl with neatness and dispatch. Now
she is lucky If she gets any old kind
OF domestic to manage her. Time
mother-in-law was condoied with.
Now he is looked upon as a lucky
dog. always sure OF something to
eat upon arrival home from mental
and physical gymnastic that empties
a bread-basket completely. Just what
We will do to make good" on kitchen
artisans ia. problem that even the
newly rich are pondering while the
newly married are right up against
the dead wall Of dyspepsia and defeat
The domestic OF twenty years ago
could begin at "A" and go to z" in
the household labor category. The
girl Of to-day is too weak to do the
washing and seldom strong enough to
manipulate the ironing. The China.
man is anxious to take the servant
girls place, but he gives one the
creeps and mental suggestion that
he Will steal upon you some night as
you slumber and choke you to death
with his cue. 1t is indeed a sad ques-
tion for those who are foolish enough
to eat. Those who don't eat, admit
they are getting along fairly well on
health foods.
In baseball cheers often greet the
man who slides safe to the home
plate. In married life he may not be
cheered for sliding home but II he
knows whom he is well on he will
get there early enough to avoid tax.
Ing chances.
Run over by an automobile, the
dying man was asked II he had wife.
His groaning response was. No, this
Is the worst thing that ever happened
to me-"
Somehow some men don't seem to
interest girls. nohow; they amt bad
enough to need bossin'. nor good
enough to marry without. an there ye
are."-Uncle BY.
One almost wishes he had rheuma-
tism to see the afflicted hopping
about this hot weather without
crutches or palm leaf fans.
Sometimes it is hard fer me to tell
whether I'm 4 genius or just bilious"
Uncle By.
1t is bad luck to close hotel regis.
ter-if the clerk catches you at 1t.
Teach the mosquito to smoke cigar.
cites. That will exterminate him.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

frontier, but the Turkish and Bull
gartan troops are fighting.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

As yet no arrangements have been
made for an exchange of visits be-
tween the mikado and the car.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

Crimes caused by jealousy are a.
most always inspired by woman
who isn't fit to be jealous of.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

At last the secret is out The John.
sons over here are the Witches of cen
trail Europe.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

When the Ice man wants more
money he just takes 1t. without any
preliminary negotiating.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

Rev. DR.. Thirdly-YounE man. don't
you know there is no such thing AZ a
certainty The Gambler-Say. partner,
reckon you never ran a shell game.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

Lite Billy's reputation for veracity
is not above suspicion and he came
near being whipped for saying he had
seen Q flying horse. when in fact. Is he
said, he had really seen . horse ny.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

At the present time most of the war
horses In the world are Missouri
mules.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

Minister suspect those boys are
breaking the Sabbath. Johnnie-Guess
80; l just heard something crack.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

To hungry man, the best half of q
fried chicken is two-thirds OF 1t.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

TT beats air how good q cigar you cas-
buy for Z cents u you buy the riSht brand
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

FITS rermanentlyCured. Nonts or sss sSssu
Arst day of DIR. Kline . Great Nerve Rsstorsr
ksnd for FREE 4l.OO trial bottle and treat,aa
"a r. II. KLINE. Lid. 81 Arch St. Phiiadslphe "a
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08
Smoke Bakers "Bulihead' scent eliza,

II understand that drinking is one OF
his failures" You have been misin.
formed. 1t is one of his most pro.
nounced successes.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

Listen to Mrs. Stout calling that
dirty hoOdlum her precious lamb. ="
"Pshaw! She's only q kiddin' him."
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

Tramps are scarce in Kansas. They
are not looking for work.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

Tourist-why do you call that sand bed
Cherry creek Denverite-Because there
are no cherries there and no creek
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

II Defiance Starch" does mot
please you. return 1t to your dealer.
II It does you get one.third more for
the same money. It will give you
satisfaction, and will not stick to the
iron.
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

woman's whist club and a mans poker
club why. in one you get home to
dinner and in the other to breakfast"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

What is the effect of using kerosene
makes lightning bugs of them"
The Meeker herald. [volume] (Meeker, Colo.) 1885-current, 1903-08-08

Bakers 'Bullhead" Scent ciEars
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1903-10-07
CRAZY WOMAN IN LION HOUSE.
When the Beasts Roar She Becomes Excited
Removed TO Hospital

New York (SpeciaD Found raving
mad in the lion house of the Bronx 20
illogical gardens young woman, we'll
dressed and of evident refinement, was
taken to the Harlem Hospital.
The woman was noticed in the lion
house shortly after noon, but her action
at first did not attract attention. Sud-
denly, rs feeding time grew nearer, the
animals began roaring, and the woman
became greatly excited.
At first she talked softly to herself
but soon she began screaming and talk
ing incohcrently. The attendants ran &c
her and attempted to escort her from the
house. The instant they touched her she
struggled tiercely and they were forced
TO call for assistance. The woman was
finally carried from the building and into
the office of the park
An ambulance was summoned and one
from the Harlem Hospital finally re.
sponded. In the meantime the woman
was struggling to free herself and it wa.
with great difficulty that the surgeon anC
the Zoo attendants managed to get hei
into the ambulance.
On the way to the hospital she be.
came calncr, but declined 20 give hci
name.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1903-10-07
PICKING GG!NG ON IN COTTON BELT
Effect of the Weather on Growing
Harvests.

Washington (SpcciaD D.-The Wcathe,
Bureaus weekly summary OF crop con.
ditions is as follows:
The temperature conditions of the
week were generally favorable, although
cool nights were detrimental in the
South Atlantic. Eastern and Central Gull
States, while light to heavy frosts, for
the most part causing no serious injury
occurred in the more northcrly districts
eastward OF the Upper Missouri Val.
Icy. A marked feature of the week was
the absence OF rain or the occurrence
OF only very light showers over much
the greater part OF the country east oi
The Rocky Mountains, there being only
few areas OF comparatively limitct
extent in the Upper Mississippi Valley.
Lake region and the coast districts oI
the Middle Atlantic States and South
ern New England in which the rainfall,
exceeded the average. Drouth contin
ucs in the Ohio Valley. and with in
creased severity in Tennessee and the
Central and West Gulf States. No un
favorable conditions are reported from
the Pacific Coast, although rain r
Southern California may possibly have
caused slight injury. Southern Arizons
and Southwestern New Mexico receiv
ed unusually heavy rains for that re
gion, more than two inches being re.
ported from several stations.
The principal corn States have ex'
perienced weather conditions excep
tionally favorable for maturing late
corn, and, while frosts have been quite
general over the central and eastern
portions OF the corn belt, no materia
damage is indicated. Probably les;
ihau 20 per cent. OF the crop in Iowa i.
unratured. and. while the proportion
yet exposed to injury in South Dakota
Minnesota and Wisconsin is greater
the immature will make good feed
Farther south only very small part OF
the crop is still soft Cutting is gen
eral in all sections, and some new corr
has been marketed in Southern Kansas
While the conditions have been fav.
orable for tErcshing spring wheat in the
spring wheat region. reports OF damp.
ness OF grain in shock, as a result Of
previous rains, continue. Harvest i.
now completed on the North Pacific
Coast and thrcshing far advanced.
Some tobacco remains to be cut ir
Kentucky and Tennessee where the late
planted has suffered much from drouth
but as whole the crop is practically
housed.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1903-10-07
How War NAV Be Ay.rted.

Paris (By Cable ).-Official adviccs
from the Balkans show two distinct
signs that war will be averted at least
until spring
First-The Bulgarian revolutionary
committee, through General Saraioff.
has made overtures to the Bulgarian
government, and unless hostiities arc
actually undertaken within the next
fortnight all preparations will be sus-
pended until spring. The purpose OF
this, it is understood here, will be to
permit the decmating OF the Turkish
forces through the winter and the COM
pletlon OF the preparations for a dcci-
sive move early in the spring.
Second-M. Natchevics, Bulgaria's
envoy at Constantnople, has agreed to
axe up the negotiations. He at first
refused to act on the ground that Tur-
key gave no assurances OF a desire for
an adjustment His present decision is
considered to indicate that Turkey has
given adequate assurances.
One OF the chief features NJ Match
evics will insist on during the negotia-
tions is that Bulgaria shall have ma
jorlty OF the members and the pres-
dency OF the mixed commission having
charge OF the pacific adjustment OF the
Macedonian questions.
The French government has asked
Turkey to indemnify NJ. Gaiilac. a
French citizen OF Beirut, Syria, whose
shop was pillaged during the recent
disturbances at that place.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1903-10-07
NATIONAL CAPITAL AFFAIRS.
Naval Station 10 Cuba.

The purchase OF lands at Guantana-
mo for the United States naval station
has been practically completed without
the necessity OF resorting to condem-
nation proceedings.
The total cost OF the land is $I36,-
COO, OF which the United States has fur
nished $4,000. OF the 100000 appro-
priated, the other $4,000 will be used
for the payment OF the preliminary en-
penses. The United States will pay
Cuba the balance, comprising the cost
involved i'll the purchase OF private
lands, later when an appropriation
makes funds available. The payments
made by the United States are all cred
tied as advance rent. 1t is expected
that the American Government will
shortly occupy the Guantanamo area,
raising the flag there.
The Bahia Hondu land purchases are
not being pushed at present. The cost
OF these lands will be about $4,000.
The Cuba Eastern Railroad has pre-
pared a petition to the Navy Depart
ment asking that the company be per-
mitted to occupy about a mile OF the
station territory so as to enable the
railroad to carry out its intention re-
garding a bay terminal. The Guanta-
namo Railroad will, it is expected. re-
quest similar privilege il its rivals
petition be granted.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1903-10-07
HOW WAR MAY BE AVERTED.
Insurgents Defeated in Long Fight and
Their Villages Burned.

Sofia, Bulgaria (By Cable).-Dis-
patches received here from revolution
ary headquarters assert that severe
fighting continues in the Struma val
ley.
The insurgents, who had surround
cd the Turkish post at the Predel Pass,
have been forced to retire.
Another long fight, which took place
between the villages OF Obdim and
Krcmen, resulted in the defeat OF the in
surgents. The troops burned both vii
lagos.
The Turks were defeated at Belitza
September 2S.
Much fighting is reported around
Melnik, but the results are not yet
known.
The war ministry has ordered out
the annual contingent OF recruits for
October II, instead OF at the beginning
OF the year, as usual. This step. though
quite constitutional, has occasioned
some surprise, considering the report
cd Improvement in the general situa-
ton
While the conditions are undoubtedly
more hopeful. there is strong belief
IN many well informed quarters that
the Macedonian question is still very
threatening and can only be settled By
war. The Bulgarian government,
therefore, continues preparations for
evcntralities.
The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1903-10-07
SPARKS FROM Tbs WIRES.

\ troop OF cavalry captured the pro-
prietor and several employees OF the
Daily Record. the official organ OF the
Miners Union in Colorado.
The dying statement OF n. G.. Con
zales was admitted in evidence at the
trial OF James II. Tillman at Lcxinc
ton, S. {.
Col. Harold c. McGrew. OF Indian
apols, was elected comma1der-in-
OF the Spanish War Veterans.
Officers were elected at convention OF
the United States Veteran Navy, a,
New Haven.
l.. Z. Johnson has been elected pres
ident OF the Norfolk and Western Rail
road.
Six veteran volunteer fremen were
injured in an exhibition rum at Chicago
a mail train ON the Pennsylvania
Railroad was wrecked near Lancaster.
-Four robbers attempted to hold up
night watchman in Chicago.
The Venezuelan arbitration tribunal
has decided that minutes of the deci-
sions and awards in the question OF
preferential claims OF the allied powers
shall be drawn both in English and
French, and Wayne Mecveagh, senior
counsel for the United States, has pro-
tested.