The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1903-05-06

Chapter V. In which Iedoy WdVetn
all his banners Of oratory and the people
plenteously applaud while the free
traders OF all political stripes howl ca
iamity because the wage worker hath
office.
OF Teddy. who dwelleth In Jerusalem.
which translated into the vernacular,
signifleth Washington. that he peram-
bulated up and down this glorious Union.
turning on the faucet Of defamation at
all hours OF the day and night; and 10.
the common people heard him gladly and
as he tapped cask after cask OF pure
eloquence the people shouted as those
that shout by reason Of wine. and behold,
the places where he let loose the floods
of oratory and the tidal waves OF lang
uage were gathered great multitudes. so
much so that they trod one upon another
and the villages and walled cities rang
again with mighty waves OF applause;
yea, and II mattered not whether In
staid New England, the sunny south or
the wild and woolly west, for protection.
prosperity and progress are the watch
words. and behold. the country Is safe.
e. Howbeit, Teddy's home Is in Oys-
tey Bay. even as a mariner might fetch
q compass and set sail from the great
city of New Amsterdam, which Is called
New York, for an hundred miles. steer
ing nearly due east and casting anchor
on the north side OF Long Island, within
the goodly bay.
g. Now. behold Teddy had stolen the
hearts of the people because he had faith
in protection. prosperity. which hath
flooded the land with peace and plenty.
the business man with business, the
manufactures with orders for his pro-
ducts, the farmer with great demands
for his crops, and lastly, but not leastiy
by an exceeding long shot, protection
had prevented our home market from
being glutted with cheap foreign goods
and therefore doth the wage Garner have
oceans Of work and higher wages than
ever before. while his beloved better half
and his little ones are clothed and fed
and the widows heart singeth for Joy.
T. Moreover. such was the wonderful
tide of prosperity that followed the re-
enactment OF protection by the Dingiey
tariff; yea, such was the marvellous con-
trast between the business wrecking
period under the robber Wilson free trade
tariff when two millions OF honest worthy
bread winners were robbed OF their Jobs
and their eight or ten millions of wives
and children shivered with the cold and
were half starved-such was the tre-
mendous difference between protection
times and free trades periods that many
people utterly refused 10 credit their
own optics or believe the strange tales
OF prosperity.
s. Yea. verify, so mighty the gulf be-
tween protection and free trade that
multitudes OF the philistine free trade
fellows shouted from the house tops that
ruin and desolation were even at the ma
tion's door
s. Moreover, the philistine free trade
yellow prophets have continued their ca
lamity howls and false prophecies OF evil
days for the last six years, because the
common people have work and the de-
mand for laborers is so pressing that
western grangers cannot procure sufficient
help to work their prosperous farms
Nevertheless, blind free traders see not
that 1t is the result of protection.
Z. Albeit. behold. how plainly the farm
er seeth upon which side his agricultural
bread is buttered: for 10, he payeth or
his mortgages and other debts under noe TN dne
ereth his floors with nice carpets ana
putteth in the piano and purchaseth
splendid horses and the best Of farm inn
plements. while his better half clotheth
herself in goodly apparel and supplieth
her children with comely clothing.
s. Nevertheless. the free trade yellow
their optics seem fountains of briny
fluid. from which salt water fioweth In
an almost unceasing squirt.
3. Howbeit, the free trade yellows con-
tinue to prophesy falsely; yea verify
their splendid assortment of dissolving
views seemeth world without end and
their constant visions OF calamity ap,
which the son OF Erin remarked that
someone had cut of the end, so that 1t
was even endless.
Philistines, struck as IL were with con-
gestive chills Of horror at the abounding
and continuing prosperity under protec-
ton whereby the wage Garner hath work
and fair wages: yea, and is even demand
ing more and more because of our unpre-
cedented prosperity
tine is now howling and screeching and
tariff be reformed.
l9. And wherefore do these Philistines
them In the streets OF Askelon. and cause
the Philistine damsels to rejoice and the
Phllistine political warriors to indulge In
loud outlaws at the prospect OF tinkerins
with the tariff under which the common
people prosper as never before?
l3. The solution OF the problem may.
psradventnre; be , on this wise; thusly: .,say,:
Philistine chiefs are angry. wild with
wrath. mad with hate against the wage
earncrs prosperity: yea. the average free
trade leader sleepeth not, and hath no
rest while bread winners and their fami-
lies have the necessaries and comforts os
life. and they long exceeding earnestly
day and night TO rob four millions or
wage workers Of their jobs. and when
twenty million among wage earners fam
lilies shall shiver with cold and mourn
with hunger. then shall the yellow. free
trade Plilistine ride roueh shod over
them into power. honors and the emolu-
ments OF Office.
IL For II such is not their desire. why
do they howl for change OF our tarifr
under which bread winners prosper, and
why try they so hard TO bring back the
kind OF tarifr under which two millions
OF wage earners were deliberately cut
down Ar swindled out OF their jobs and
then mocked with free soup instead OF
employment?