Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1903-01-25

!, mon the hungry hord stocking
guard % Mapping around be chlldEensss
ankles and every { little ohappedS s. knee
peeps sruddily through "a heartrending@n MS
sure on the sunny world sw1tho u aIs
Gill, Of the Orphan Asylum, OF some other
to keep our liliputian host well stock
inged at mod cost, she would be
doing a far great service to married
Christendom than did all the soothing
syrup inventors on the globe It has al
ways struck me as a pity that Snakes
peare. In describing the seven ages q
man, didn't 20 little farther, Or rather,
commence little earlier in his division,
and touch upon those two altogether sin-5
explicable periods OF a boys existence
first. when he kicks out the tips Of his
shoes, and second when he grinds.
through the knees Of his stockings !
wonder If girls exhibit the same pecu-7
liartties-when they're young. OF course
I mean.
The country folks have cut more Ice
this winter than they've done for many
a year. This Is spoken literally. not fig
uratively or slangily. For the last fort
night not a bucolic corresponden has
written us a letter without winding up his
epistle with an all'1sion to the Ice mar.
vest. They don't say much. They simply
throw In final line or SO. cheerily de-
claring, Our farmers are now busy cut
ting ice. and many houses have been
filled with the frozen substance. It is
from three to three and half Inches
Thick If have read that statement.
once. I've. read 1t thousand times in
the past ten days.
s. Towards the last the thing became mad
dening like the constant trfckling Of water
on ones person. It looked as If the whole
earth was cutting ice. ard as If the
grangers would soon be chipping away.
at the North Pole. Then I got to asking
myself why the unterrifed enemies Of
pota to-bugs were thus facing the ele-.
ments to gather in little Of the cold that
is now congealing the marrow In my
bones. Is 1t for the buttermilk they will
drink during the drowsy days Of the
dog-star's encum bency? I asked MYSELF:
or do they see future visions Of lemonade
at their .'protracted meetings.? Neither
explanation seems plausible though both
take us into pleasing realms of thought
concerning fy-time. But at present it
looks as though the mystery is solved.
The Chatham correspond noble
Fittsy1vanian who cuts ice all the year
'round-has Just written this paper that
there is a wild rumor IN his town that
a man in the neighborhood has discovered
on his place natural well Of corn w11fs-
key. The report further says that he has
already cons1!ted the revenue officials to
see what 1t will cost him TO operate it.
This item explains the mystery. The
ice-cutting farmers have also heard OF
that corn whiskey well-possibly Of 9th
ers, also-and are preparing for the hal
cyon days when this joy-producing nat
ural phenomenon will be open for public
gratif1cati ton. In my minds ear already
hear the gourds clicking: while my imagi-
native eye sees the bucket the bucket
the booze-scented bucket, nom entarily
rlunging into the well. as gladstone hosts
of Jefersoniar Democrats mot to mention
old-1ine Republicans Popu1'sts. and Mug
wumps) throng the neighborhocd. No
wonder the agriculturists are cutting icr
for the promised millennium and harrow
ing their mint-beds. No wonder they
can't contain themselves for very Joy.
and are taking OPTIONS on all the land to
be found. " hats the use Of prospecting
for oil when :wells of genuine, coquettish
corn whiskey are promised. and the very
air becomes aromatic at the thought Of
the future!