Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1903-01-22
OUTSIDE POINT OF VIEW

<OUTSIDE POINT OF VIEW
The usual crowd was sitting around.
each member Of it engaged in
reading. Say. pa" suddenly
broke out Seraphina, II can
generally recognize a joke in the papers,
u have been reaGing several times
lately of the lazy germ discovered by
Professor Stiles. Is he in earnest?"
How strange 1t is" replied this scribe,
such a coincidence! Here In his pa
per is some correspondence from Wash
ington in regard to L. Imagine I am
answering your question.
DIR. Charles Wardell Stiles, zoolo-
gist OF the agricultural department, who
startled the scientists a few days g
by the discovery that laziness is a dis
ease. with a hook worm for the parasite,
a a patient he is now treating in Bal
timore. DR.. Stiles refuses to divulge
the name of his patient. but admits that
he Is i'll with laziness. and has it in an
aggravated form. The Discrimination
for physical exertion and lassitude OF
the patient have developed to such an
extent that he Ia not AVE sufficient
energy to get we'll. That is his only
danger. The head os the government
bureau of zoology believes that the OPP
portunity this patient will afford him
for studying the disease will be of In
caiculable scientific advantage.
"'Dr. Stiles Is distressed because the
newspapers Of the south, where the dis
ease is prevalent, dc not take his dis
covery seriously. Much Of the poor
white trash Of the south, he says, Is
simply suffering from the aook worm
disease.
Does that sound ike a joke? No.
Seraphina; Professor Stiles has made
q discovery that Will revolutionize th,
world. For many years in my humble
l have been studying this subject.
instance"
"Seraphina, you are getting too old to
longer be bamboozled by that philoso-
pher," interrupted the good woman who
runs things in the Birdseye family. His
for instance was to remark that this
hook worm, lazy germ always took pos
session of him just after a snowstorm.
I have seen this hook worm hold him
in the rocking chair till old Bill Smith
came along and offered to clean off the
sidewalks for 10 cents. Again. for in
stance when he was out sprinkling the
lawn, this parasite hook worm actually
on his asking the first small
boy that came along If 'he didn't want
TIC play with the hose This hook worm
disease has in one case I know of con-
yerted a man to the theory thai II a
mans wife and two grown-up daugh-
tiers would run the lawn mower 1T
would be splendid exercise"
I'VE will proceed" remarked the wri-
ter.
1T Is needless to say declared DR..
Stiles, that / do not claim to have
found a germ which accounts for all
cases of laziness. The new discovery
simply consists in the recognition OF the
srecific American parasite which devel-
ops in persons in warmer climates, es-
pecially in those who inhabit sandy
areas.
CDR. Stiles further asserts that the
worm disease develops IN
cities. 1t is exclusively confined to
the rural districts. DR.. Stiles has asked
that a map be prepared of the sand belt
of the southern states, where
the hook worm disease fiourishes. When
the map is completed DR.. Stiles Will
from the census statistics the
exact area of the sand districts shown
on the map and determine from data
gathered by him on lis recent tour OF
investigation just what proportion OF
the population of the sand belt is sur
freing from the disease. An I WI!
then be made, thru the general dtstr1bu-
ton in the afflicted districts OF Htera-
ture bearing upon the disease. Its ori-
gin. cause, symptoms, prevention
methods of cure, to educate physicians
i'm the sand belt to accurately determine
thad disease and prescribe proper meth
DDS of treatment.
"erhe children Dr.. Stiles found In
southern mills suffering from the dis-
ease all came from sand farms, and the
zoologist insists they are u better
off in the factories than they would be
on the farms. The reports of the re-
suits of the southern trip Will be given
to the public in January.
"If YOU believe that stun, sald MT.
"it's no more than Wouiu
expect of a man VINO swallows at al
ruip every so-called scientific fad. II
know a sure cure for this nook worm
disease, and that's the whipping post.
your DIR. stiles will soon find
lymph that, injected into the person
of a tramp, will make him keen for a
lob of saving wood. Living n Wash
ington, he will soon discover an un
microbe which can put into the
arms of our hook w9rm congressman,
inns killing off the lazy worm and bring
the country great results" The travelling
said he had an idea. Wholesale
houses would soon keep in stock large
hotties of an anti-hock worm medicine.
every Monday morning the head OF the
house would v%accinate all of the boys,
thus giving them strength and inclina-
t;on to work six days in a wesk instead
of running in Friday afternoon all used
I'm nv the hook worms. What a great
thing 1T would be to inoculate some OF
the hotelkeepers who now feel disin-
clined to keep cold drinking water IN
The Office. Some of them, where there's
erlv one hotel in a town, If they could
gat rid OF their hook worms would have
6Ss - - ~ h,yo II