The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-03-10
HERE AND THERE,

Sunday School Teacher-Well, who
was sorry at the return of the P~udi-
gal Son? Lite Girl-The fatted calf.
Boston Register.
Somebody wants to know if Pr-si-
len Roosevelt will insist upon put
ting a large family plank II the next
republican MISUNDERSTANDING Il4in
Dealer.
Mayor Wells has compelled good
government in the city hall and Or
cult Attorney Folk has brought eff
cial criminals to the door OF the peni-
tentiary.-St. Louis Republic.
Natural historv says birds have
good Judgment" remarked Bessie with
the big book. "Storks haven't" spoke
up Bobby. Why not?" Just louk
Via ugly babies they bring SOME
times."-Chicago News.
What" asked the would-be funny
man, lis the difference between me and
l groundhog?" Not muca," replied
h snake editor, at whom tho ndsrv
had been fred" only in speaking CT
o I'd cut u the ground iii
cago News.
The longer I live sighed the sage.
and the more l learn. the l.1ore firmly
am l convinced that [ know absolute
ly nothing!" Il could nave told you
that twenty-five years ago." said his
wife, but / knew it would be of no
use.'--Chicago Tribune.
Il want to get some bird seed" said
the customer in the seed store. mo.
We don't, smartly," replied the new
clerk, recently acquired from the cvun-
try, we can't joke me. Bird grows
from nUoc NJ -o1y- - IJhilnI \ I =
Press.
Il think the great trouble with the
American people," said the young iran
as he took the girl around the corner
to the restaurant after the pay, "is
that they eat too much. 10 you p"
she answered. LET me see? Nh.
Here it is. 1 can lend you a dollar if
you're short-"-Chicago Record Her
aid.
IF life began at the north pole, as
our eminent brother asserts" said the
first scientist, what conclusion would
o draw from that? What effect mas
that had on our p~resent-day ife?'
Why hazarded the second sctanIist.
doesn't it show hat what we nave
hitherto considered the pole-seekirg
craze is merely an instructive mani
festation of Observation-Disclosures.
But why they asked, 10 YOU
keep a cat, a dog and a parrot? Don't
you know that it annoys the neigh
bors?" "Of course" replied the cid
maid in the apartment building, cut
annoyance Of some sort seems to be
considered the proper thing. and I
haven't any children. I am doing the
best I a in the circumstanCa."-Chi-
y T. enlng Post.
A Chicago Club has uttered
mis- speech. We don't do men jus
tice. We can't get along without than
md there is no use saying thar we
can" This is treason of the ranKest
brand and calls for a prompt rehuke.
Who can calculate the terrible effect
IF the spread of such sentiments
1mong the ranks of the women's clubs
Of this country.-Asheville Citizen.
From the following telegram frnm
New Haven. Conn.,, to the Baltimore
Sun it would seem that Smoot of Utah
S not the worst thing in pants: 'Rev.
II. L. HutchinS reported to the fe 1ara-
ton of churches mere today hat he
has found polygamy practiced in Con-
necticut, and an appalling state Of IL
literacy, immortality, political cOr"up-
ton and a growing proportion Of i'm
N-cilitv in rr1raI e~ctionc. Po is an
agent for the Connecticut Bible So
ciety. Hard cider n the exception
lilly poo state of the public school
system were mentioned as the causes,
and, added to these causes, the grow
ing habit Of intermarriage between
blood relations. In many towns he
churches are deserted. he says, Ind
Goodness is only a tradition The
town Of Ashville was cited as enc
place where some of the inhabitants
are opium eaters."-Greenville Rebec-
tor.