Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-04-11
NO LONGER N CLUBS
Mrs. J. Matrimonial Bliss
Soliloquizes.
FOR MISS E. LONELY
a1oArs OVER Loss OF LIBERTY
AND LATCH KEY.
Grows Enthusiastic Over the Love Of
Husband and
Home.

Copyright. lSuo- ny fIHly l1oii'7
Written for The Evening Star by Emily Holt.
GIVE been invited to join the new wo-
mans club round the corner" demurely
confessed Mrs. John Matrimonial Bliss to
Miss Emily Lonely, who comfortably
toasted her cork soles on the fender, while
she trifled with her second cup of tea.
What sort of club?' inquired the
caller.
1.-THE PRESIDENTS the famous Mrs. Bern1ce
Bowman Bouncer, who has addressed the
state legislature, run for Congress and be-
lieves in woman's rights and the suppress
sion of polygamy and war and vice and
trusts" said Mrs. Bliss. This list of top
les for debate this year covers very nearly
all the burning questions of the hour, from
cosrnic star dust to the kind of pictures
we can allow the President to hang in the
White House 1t is federated all right too,
with the Pan-American Society FOR the Su-
perintendence of Purity in Literature, Art.
the Drama Music and Costume, with the
Transcontinental Ladies' Association. with
the Interoceanic Dress Reform League and
dozens more of the most powerful combl-
nations of feminine intellect influence and
progress not excluding the Bi-WeelIly
Lunch Club and the Unsectarian Tattling
Society. Already there are ninetyfive
members paying dues and writing papers,
more are clamoring to be let in, and the
Greek motto on the club seal signifies. so
the president explained, that woman must
wake from her sluggards sleep and grap-
pie with the problems of the day.
How nice and purposeful and stimu-
lating that sounds" commented Miss
Emily, when Mrs. Bliss stopped for breath.
Il hope you Joined.
All Over Now.
you may think the less of me, bat 1
didn't" replied the hostess. Il confessed
in NV hold oirl DAYS before
John Bliss pei suaded me to resign my lib
erty and my latch key, 1 had dreamed
that woman might still be free, but that l
had had experiences TO prove that after
all ulatrimony was the most interesting
and preoccupying profession in the world,
and when q woman did all her duty in that
line she really had no time and no need for
the new movements.
"Of course, the revelation of so befogsed
and semi-barbaric an intellect as mine
closed the incident. Evidently L was con-
sidered no loss to organized woman, and
nobly forebore from saying that l was
not able to see much practical use in wo-
mans clubs, anyway, and that L believed
there were a score or two too many III
this town already.
Don't look so cloudy, Miss Emily. Have
another cup of tea, and let me assure you
that the real questions of the hour to be
grappled with are not the privileges of the
discovery OF the Ego, but just the same old
questions that have been troubling wo-
mankind since the ark landed
II know whereof l speak, for. between
you and me and the gas logs, there has
been brief but painful interval in my
married life when l, too, was a strong
minded woman; when L thought it perfect
ly splendid to extend my intellectual hori-
zon; to have mornings with Aristotle or
Socrates and Thursday afternoons with
Kant; to find that / was part of the uni
versal consciousness and that think is
function. Haven't l sat up far into the
night writing papers on subjects that
have stumped Lord Bacon, attended cor
ventions of mothers, spoken LUMINOSITY on
questions of child study. talked like
three-volume scientific work on the psy
chology of goo and dada and sat on
committees, and circulated petitions, and
served as a delegate-at-large, and been
just as emancipated as you please and
considerably proud of myself, also?
For and Against.
ITO my disgust and amazement however.
l found that a profound knowledge of the
philosophy of the oversoul and the sanctity
of the ballot profiteth a woman nothing,
when her maid of all work announces that
her greatgrandaunt has died on her. with
bronktts, without warning, and that a
weeks holiday with wages must be devoted
TO the Old WomanS ObsequieS; when Bobby
comes home from kindergarten with a bad
case of mumps; when mother-in-law writes
TO say that she and her trunks can be eX-
pected by the 2:1O train for nice long
visit; and when John telephones up, for
the third time in the week, to say that he
is obliged to stop downtown again for din
ner and the whole evening, in order to fin
lsh up some pressing business.
Ii she is a thoroughly emancipa ted