Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1903-04-16


Sir John Falstaff: Lord, Lord! How
this world is given to lyingr'
The fact that Senator Fairbanks Of
Indiana-if it be a fact-is spending
his money in starting newspapers in
the south to promote his presidential
boom demonstrates that he is mere
tyro in capturing southern Republican
delegates. What they want is not
newspapers, but cold cash. If the alti-
tudinous Hoosier senator will invest
few dollars in John Sherman's book
and read what John has to say about
how General Russell A. Alger euchred
him out of his southern delegates, he
will be wiser, If sadder, man.
Southern Republican delegates come
high. Shortly after the Sherman-Alger-
Harrison convention of 1888 stranger
was visiting in Texas. In front of a
hotel he met colored brother who
was sporting an unusually handsome
gold watch and who informed the
stranger that he obtained his timepiece
at the Chicago convention. Were you
a delegate?' asked the stranger. mo,
sah," replied the colored patriot. 81
was only an alternate. If l had been
a delegate, would have owned this
hotel"
De gustibus non est disputandum!
Senator Benjamin R. Tillman of South
Carolina is hissed vigorously wherever
he lectures in the north. Yet he keeps
on lecturing. He appears to be as great
glutton for Kisses as Jim Jeffries is
for physical humping.
The question, 1.-The tiger or the
lady?" bequeathed to the world by
Frank r. Stockton, has bothered the
minds of great many people for a
great many moons, but it pales into
utter insignificance beside this one,
Statesman or mountebank as ap-
piled to Castro, president of Venezuela.
He is certainly the enigma of the hour.
The late lamented Phineas T. Barnum
was not in it for one moment as an
advertiser, and so far as leading a
strenuous life is concerned President
Rooseyelt's is fat and stale when COM
pared with the South Americans.
'"rhe early bird catches the worm
philosophy is certainly believed in by
the Republican mayor of Indianapolis,
Hon. G. A. Bookwalter. He is a can
didate for reelection and ordered a
nomination convention for Saturday,
March 28, Notwithstanding the fact
that the election does not take place
until Oct. Is. If Brother Bookwalter
will consult the Sage of Wolfert's
Roost" as to the policy or impolicy,
wisdom or unwisdom, of the early bird
convention, he may learn something to
his advantage.
Free From "carpetbagger" Debt.
The Democrats of Missouri recently
had a grand blowout when the last
Republican state bond' was paid off.
The carpetbaggers had possession of
Missouri only eight years, but most
emphatically they made hay while the
sun was shining. Missouri was the
richest state that ever fell into their
clutches, and they plundered her at a
most amazing rate. She escaped from
their iron grasp in 1871, and since then
the Democrats have so wisely and eco
nomically administered her affairs that
at last they have paid off the huge
debt bequeathed to them. Most of the
county and township debts have also
been paid off-debts created by cor
rupt Republican county courts. Mis-
souri, is now fit subject for congrat-
ulation.
"Festina lente" eco slow'') would be
tiptop motto for those silly and evil
minded persons who are incubating a
plan to kidnap President Roosevelt
They are liable to find themselves in
the narrowing condition of the adven-
turous idiot that caught bear by the
tail and then yelled Justify for some
body to help him let loose. When the
president turns his strenuosity full
blast upon them, they are liable to
pray for the mountains to fall upon
them-that is, if kidnapers ever pray.
My advice to them is Puck 's-"Don'tp'
w OuuCt IL OOfGIAOL 4QbCG
of Illinois ever posters his head to
find out why there is SO much talk OF
Governor Cummins of Iowa for vice
president and so little of Governor
Yates? Illinois and Iowa lie alongside
Of each other, and both are Republic.
an states. Yates has been governor
twice as long as Cummins and is gov.
ernor of state with twice the popula-
ton of Iowa. The reason lies chiefly
in the fact that Governor Cummins
has ideas of his own, or, rather, an
idea, which he borrowed from the
Democrats-"the Iowa idea," so called
of tariff reduction.
Speak Low.
Judge David A. De Armond Of Mis-
souri, introduced resolution into the
house just before the adjournment OF
congress looking to the annexation OF
the North American British posses
sions. He probably did it because he
fayors annexation, and for no Other
reason. He never dreamed that BIZ
was injuring the political prospects Of
any living man; but, as a matter OF
fact. his resolution was the cause OF
the undoing of Colonel John L. Bittin
ger OF st. Joseph, Mo-, consul general
to Montreal He expressed himself Wig
orously and volubly in favor of De Ar
nonds resolution and was promptly
bounced. Colonel Bittinger should
have considered the unhappy end OF
the parrot that talked too much an(
been warned thereby.
Admiral George Dewey also seems
to have developed an unaccountabl,
mania for talking. AS an old woman
whom knew in my youth used to say
His tongue appears to be loose at boil
ends and tied in the middle" He curt
ly and correctly disposed of Grover
Cleyeland's candidacy for the presiden
cy by saying laconically, .sHe is tot
oldp' and he Knocked the fat into thu
fire by his comparison of the American
and German navies. Speech is silvern
but silence is golden
It may not be considered improper a.
this time to call the careful and pray
erful attention Of such eminent reform
ers as Judge Crumpacker Of Indiana t.
the fact that the Wisconsin legisIa