New-York tribune., 1903-08-30

matter beyond all dispute, for he had seen fat
man weighed only few hours before Artemus
Ward leetured in that city, and this fat man
laughed hard and continuously at Wards
wit that he overdid the thing and died in his
seat The coroner sat on him, and the doctor
weighed him and found he had lost eighteen pounds
Of flesh that night-laughed it away, WHICH would
@ seem m 10 settle the XeNeG queSTRb @ Hbs bs looSed
upon the boys strutting around in uniform, ana
as much astonished as Disguised He took pleas
ure in the qsarrels OF mankind and never oacked
Locked spurs he IwaVs liked to be about IFS
their nature to fight said he, and let EN- nght.
When peace had followed the Civil War "Bfl
Arp wrote series OF sketches about conditions IN
the South In his description of railroad travelling
he once introduced this bit Of domestic coloring:
IAN along the line. at every station, pretty
women get and of. But woman is sometimes
very variegated and peculiar in the way she does.
I am just reminded how. on 4 late occasion, l
found but vacant seat in the car after To-
Gated my numerous but interesting family.
luxurious lady. with some aggravatins eurls had
occupied nearly all of seat, spreading herself
like setting hen all the velvet cushion
g Madame can I share the seat with your said
I. Certainly sir, and she closed in her skirts
some several inches. In a short space of time she
became affected with drowsness Her neck became
timber as rag Leaning on my shoulder % sne
bobbng around and felt very peculiar at such
times as She would subside into my bosom -
About this critical JunCtuTe v6ntuTcd TO turn
nv astonishing gaze toward Mrs ARP. aad. seeing
that she was waiting for some remark' oo-
Hadn't better rernove my seat? Do you think
"I do not Wiliam' said she. You lad better
stand up'a while. and when you get tired some ol
the children Will relieve YOU
On farming. the Mark Twain of the South had
this to say:
variety is the spice of life. and if man can
get any fun out of trouble he had better do IT,
Farming is a ever-changing employment Inere
is something new turns nearly every day
something unexpected and out of the general run.
1t amt so storekeeping. carpentering. nor
anv mechanical business. for with those pursuits
one dav is prtty much like another. and that IS
why I like farming There is more play for a
mans ingenuity and contrivance, and more gratui-
cation in his success If a farmer contrives good
cate or a good stall for the stable, or makes a
good wagon tongue, or a singetree. or plough
stock. he is proud Of his labors and thinks more
Of himself love to meet nabor and
hear him say How's crapsr continue TO ike
the wheat is somewhat doubtlul 3gout mas IlAS , d
crap \ little long pug wiz, Win d t'I ~ a. - 80 0t ana
- Falling down in patches. Flies and bugs ana
rl,S+ 1orey on the green wheat. Weevils eat II up
ae mnT eaf tbe go0bers hawks eat the chickens, the
ufnks killed three OF our uuchS IN oIiS ne & ~
~ nv MAJORS mules come along with the blind
singers and fell up PAIR & OF seyg tbot Eick8g
Iher there are hriers and nettles and treads9Its
and srnartweed and poison oak ,nG - S9tsil @ tbst
Jao,ed after kaerfuIy especially snakes which
are sum kin to, the devil himself. There's no
monotony upon the taln
Here are a few of his reflections love and
marriage
Married and gone. 1t is the same old story.
Love and courtship. Then comes the engagement