Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1903-03-19

One OF my hated contemporaries
thrusts his head up out Of the nllre
of nauseOus effusiOns created by lis
own pen and bawls for better litera-
ture. He says "Jancie Meredith is
rot and his soul hankereth for book
that is bOOk-fOr tale such as
Scott or Cooper used to spin. II |
had time would write one and place
it in his grimy and sinful paws but l
am too busy. Therefore [ will en-
deavor to assuage his importu nate
heller with a nice article about mod
ern literature. Several years ago
conceived a large dropsical-lOoking
yearn to write forty cents worth of
books and then die and acquire forty
dollars worth of pOstm Ortem glory
Just at that time it was all the style
to write large pumpkin colored
book with purple sunf1owers on it
and then crawl away back under the
summer kitchen somewhere and die
off so the world could call you new
literary star busted in the bloom of
youth, and let it's mingled tears and
slobbers trickle down the sides of
your tombstone and soak into your
grave like the gentle meanderings
of a busted jug of sorghum.
At the present writing I would
rather live and owe four years back
subscription than be dead hero, but
at that time I thought nothing could
be lovelier than to be dead and fam
Gus and have a nice monument with
several yards of epitaffy on it and
have the summer tourist come and
sit straddle of your grave and weep
big bitter tears and blow his proboscis
and leave you a torn shoebox full of
chicken bones and a bit of skippery
cheese and a clammy cucumber
pickle or two and maybe a flask half
full Of chilly coffee something
else. NJ not something else-for if
it were any thing else the tourist
wouldn't leave it. I survived my
yearn for literary. fame with brass
handles on the sides and black plum
es overhead but I am still convinced
that nothing else is so invigorating
to a decrepit book as the ability
of it's author to die at the proper
tune with touch of pathos; Keats
knew the trick and used it. So did
Chatterton and Shelley and Robert
Louis Stevenson though none Of
them really needed it. More recent
" it was adopted with good effect by
lesser lights in the lettered world.
My attention was first called to
this fact by my old friend Rhodes
several years ago. We were study
ing for the ministry in those days,
he and [, at little college over in
the sucker state. The reason we
were studying for the ministry was
because we happened to have been
and q bad case Of dyspepsia which
led our friends to believe we were
cut out to preach. Well, we studied
some and tried to make ourselves
believe as they did, but we spent
most of our time rambling i'll the
woods or rowing on the river and
building air-castles which didn't look
a bit like pulplts. Rhodes came into
my room one day with a magazine in
his hand just as was dashing off a
column of college notes for whichthe
local paper paid me the munificent
sum of dollar a week and thereby
enable me to have my was hing done
once a month instead Of twice a year
as formerly. Wolf, said he as he
threw himself down on the bed, II
wish you had brains enough to write
a book and then dien' THAT would
be real nice"-said what would