davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1903-07-05

Il dare say yer would. gunner" re
piled one OF the men grufly.
1T must be dodge worth knowing
smiled Mr.. Bounceby. with insinuatinl
! blandness.
Yer right there. gunner" said III,
other man. TOO well WORT KNOWN tel
give away. and that's a fsck''
TT might even be worth buying-eh7'
replied Mr.. Bounceby. with sly suggest.
| iveness. accidentally. as 1t were. chink
Ing some loose ftlver IN his breeches
pocket
1T might" grunted the man address
ed. laconically. And II mightn't. What
der yer sy. mite?" he added, turning &C
his companion.
TT orl depen's.'' answered the mite,
"on what reasons the gentleman hav,
for wishir' TO know IL. II, for igzample
it's jest out of innercent curiosity.
down't sy as l should obtsck to oblige
but II by any charnst-I down't s'pose q
is so. merely sex 'if'-if by any charnst
I repeats. he should happen TO be a spy
as means to report US 10 the com
pany-"
"A spy? Ny good Teller, what car
you be thinking off" exclaimed Mr.
Bounceby, affecting mingled amazement
and indignation at so preposterous ar
idea. Come. do look like a spy. now
We'll. now. gunner. to do yer Justice
carn't sy as yer do. IL yer arsks me
yer looks rather q mug" answered tho
workman, candidly. Still. appearances
Is orfuI deceivin', and In this ere wick
ed world a bloke carnt be too careful .
Mr.. Bounceby, mindful OF his object,
swallowed his indignation and laughed
boisterousIy.
II like your frankness." he said. with
pretended approval "It's-ahem-so
nice and natural. can't bear anything
underhand. you know. either in myself
or in others. And as for doing anything
so low and mean as to worm informa-
ton, in confidence. from a fellow-pas-
senger and then report him to the com
pany. l give you my word that I would
considerably rather shoot myself" add
cd Mr.. Bounceby, making his voice
thought.
That's gospel. gunner? Matthew,
Mark, Luke, and orl the rest OF EN- %
demanded the workman. gazing steadily
at his interlocutor.
"Gospel-'pon my oath" He'd Mr..
Bounceby.
'In that kise.'' said the workman
turning 20 his pal. II down't know as
thered be any arm 10 our doin' bust
ness wiv the gentleman En-, Bill?"
II dOwn't know as there would" an
swered Bill. little CLEAN, perchancc
of cuptdity. lighting up his stolid eyes
Mr. BOunceby was delighted
What shall we say7 Five bob2' b
queried.
"a dollars too cheap" replied Bits
mite" shaking his head. why, blcs7
yer, gunner. yer've ownly got 10 u1c
The Washington times., 1903-07-05

cts. or with insufficient tickets, or with
tickets for a class inferior to that which
they condescended to patroniso. or 9TH
erwise defreuding the London and Sub
urban Railway Company
a smart man was this Virgins. as
shrewd and cute as they make EN-.
with more nous in his little finger than
Joshua carried under the whole of his
rs top hat. Yet our directors attitude
toward the chief detective was that OF a
pedagogue toward an unusually dense
scholar. and he was forever lecturing
him on the lax and unintelligent man
ner in which he performed his duties
IT'S my belief that you let hundreds
of those swindllng fellers slip through
your fingers every week" said Joshua
Bounceby 20 the chief Of the detective
STAFF, lecturing him, one day. on the
Lavender Hill station.
Well, there are some get through. no
doubt. sir" assented tho official. with
humility. but considering how few of
US there are compared with the number
of passengers, I'm afraid that It is In
evitable."
'UmDhl There are plenty of you 70
do the work If It was done properly"
asserted Mr.. Bounceby. in his knock
you-down way. IT'S not the quantity
Of the material that's at fault: les the
quality, my fine feller''
For one thing, sir" said Chief De-
tective Virgins. deprecatingly, ''the old
hands get to know us so we'll. All,
You see these two chaps" he added, In
dicatiDg a couple of workmen with car
penter's baskets over their shoulders
who happened to pass them at that mo-
ment.
Now, have reason 20 believe. sir,
that they do the company out 6: three
or four shilhngs every week. travelling
between this and Hoxton Rise. Yet
they're so artful. that hanged IL we've
ever been able 70 catch 'em. although
we've set traps for them time after time.
I've tried getting into the same COM
partment with EN- to see If they
wouldn't give some of their little tricks
away in conversation. But they know
me- and they won't talk, except about
the weather. when I'm by. It's the same
with our chaps. They spot 'em ar once.
Now. II only some gentleman, whom they
would never suspect, were to get IN with
EN- and listen to EN- talking. when they
are OF their guard. / believe he'd pick
up bit OF unccmmonly useful informa-
! ton. sir. which might lead to the con
, viction of a good many workmen. who.
at present, make systematic practice
OF doing the cOuDa0v
"Ah," said Joshua Bounceby. THAT
is your opinion. is It ?"
1T is my confident opinion, sir" re-
| piled Chief Detective Virgins.
But don't see what lodges they car
have that you shouldn't be able to find
! out without the least difficulty" an
The Washington times., 1903-07-05

plumbers upon a smart cop" observed
the other, sententiously as he knocked
the ashes out OF his short clay pipe and
then proceeded TO refill it. slowly. with
shag from a screw Of dirty green paper.
"Ah, That's right enough" admitted
the other. lending emphasis 10 his as
sent by particularly copious expecto-
ration.
Then both men relapsed into silence.
Now to the whole Of the above dla-
logue Dir. Bounceby had listened
though appearing to be buried in hls
paper-with pricked cars and alert at
tention. And his disappointment when
the two worSmen ceased their conversa-
ton just at the critical point without
having divulged the secret Of Jim Stick
ings' dodge for travelling gratis from
North Croydon to Battersoa Bridge. was
keen and poignant. If only he could
find that out and then catch Jim Stick
ings In the acti What a feather in his
own capt And what one In the owe
for that opinionated fool. Detective
Virgins Why couldn't those two fell
lows continue their conversation! Per-
haps they would II he waited a little.
He did wait. But the workmen still re-
manned silent. In fact, one of them
showed evident signs Of nodding of to
sleep. He must find out. though. II
would be too notifying to have been
Just on the verge of an important Gis-
covery. and then, after all. to miss It.
He would engage these two workmen In
conversation. He would worm the Sc
cret out OF them; or, failing that. he
would draw IL from them with silver
cords. Half crown went a long way
with a Iaboring man. while for Eve
shillings you could get him to do nj
most anything. However. he would not
begin by Offering them a bride. qince
that might arouse their suspicion He
would rather address them in the friend
~ and affable gulse OF an innocently in
quisitive fellow passenger.
So. laying down his paper. and smiling
upon the two workmen very blandly
through his gold-rimmed glasses, he
cleared his throat and said:
"Ahen!-excuse me, my good feIIers:
but couldn't help overhearing that very
interesting subject of which you were
talking just now. and-ahem do you
know, you rather aroused my curiosity"
He looked from one TO the other. smlI,
ing pleasantly as he spoke. They met
his smiles with stolid and perhaps rather
suspicious stares.
You will pardon memo offense,
hope" he went on, with increasing ana
but-well, upon my word. you
know, I'm a curious old fellow. and
reals should be awfullv interested to
know how that friend OF yours manages
TO travel from North Croydon to Batter
sea bridge every day without paying his
fare
The Washington times., 1903-07-05

, swered the director. superciliously. "It
1t is matter of travelling without ticket
surely ~ Is easy enough TO catch 'em al
that"
Detective Wigglns smiled the smile OF
the man who knows.
You see. sir" he explained. some
times they'll start from here. sopAtirnee
from Wandsworth Broadway, sometimes
from footing Road, sometimes from
Streatham Park; so that we never know
where 70 be watching for 'em. And
they'll come running down the stairs
with dozen other workmen, at the last
minute, and so they get through the
gate before the collector can stop 'em.
Then II you put one of the travelling In
spectoTs on TO 'em, It's odds that on
that particular occasion they'll happen
TO have taken a ticket. And II not. well,
they Just say that they had no time 20
book. and offer the fare to the next sta
ton. where they get out, as innocent as
lambs and
But why does the inspector take the
fare?" interrupted Mr.. Bounceby, with
contempt. He ought to make them give
their names and addresses, and report
them for prosecution"
IF he did. sir-there being no evil
dence of intent to defraud-the magis-
trate would never convict, you see: and
so we simply look foolish, and the COM
pany is saddled with the costs. Magis-
trates always side with the workingman
against a railway company, sir. unless
the evidence is quite pat. That's the
worst of Il. All! There are
those two chaps getting into the up
train now. II 1t was any use and they
didn't know me so we'll. I'd take a ride
with EN- and see If couldn't bowl them
out. But as It is
"Damme I'll take a ride with the
fellers," announced Mr. Bounceby. with
sudden, pompous resolution.
And he hurried off IN the direction Of
the third class smoker which the two
workmen had entered. and jumped into
It Just as the train was moving out of
the station
He sat down. lighted cigarette. and
began TO read his evening paper, ap-
pearing TO be quite absorbed In its con-
tents. The two worl1men glanced at him.
and proceeded to converse together
without paying any furthsr heed to him.
Their conversation. at the outset. con-
tanned nothing worthy OF remark. refer
ring merely to some general topics of
the day and the prospects for a forth
coming race at Kempton Park Pres
emily, however, TO the great delight and
triumph Of Mr. Bounceby. It veered
round to that particular subject of all
others on which ne desired TO hear them
discourse.
81 sy. mite" observed one Of the two
expectorating on TO the floor and set
Ting hts hob-nailed boot upon the ex-
! pectoratiOn, as is the pleasant little
! habit Of the British workman, see ovid
The Washington times., 1903-07-05

I the Information proper to sive the oof
ten times over in free mOnfs.
"Ah! But don't propose to DO that. .
demonstrated Mr.. Bouneeby- II merely
want to know. out OF inoocent curios-
/ ity"
"Ori the SINE" stuck IN Bill. "the
fack remines as yer could use the infor-
milton II yer liked. And for my part.
sy as it-s dirt cheap at thin 'un-eh,
Dickg"
Yer right. Bill IT'S gift at that
assented Bill. with an emphatic nod.
Come! Ten shillings is a goodish BIT
OF money" expostulated Mr.. Bounceby.
who (as vulgarians ssy) always part
ed rather hard.
"orI right. gunner. We yn't keen. If
has any right TO give Jim Stockings awy
to pufick strynger. after orl. HiIloa:
Here we are at Hoxton Rise. Vel,
good dy. gunner"
And the two workmen rose to leave
the carriage.
III give you the half-sovereIgn II
you'll tell me, my good man" exclaimed
Mr. Bounceby. desperately.
| Dick alighted on to the platform. Bill,
remained. hesitating a moment. upon
the step.
Gomez cried Mr.. Bounceby, with ex-
citement-for the guard was already
waving his green hag-"Iust tell me that
dodge for travelling. without ticket
from North Croydon to Battersea BRIDGE
and this ten bob is yours"
Bill faced round and held out hisi
hand.
Swear you won't give the gime awy,''l
he demanded. anxiously.
Il swear CALCULATED Mr.. Bcunceby. /
Then hand over and I'll tell yer" !
Mr. Bounceby laid the haif-soveresg
in the others horny palm
Very solemnly and slowly Bill gave
the required information. 1t was com
prised in this one word
Walk
Then the workmen Jumped OF the ste
of the moving train. while Mr.. Joshua
Bounceby. momentariIy paralyzed and
almost apoplectic with rage. was car
ried on to the next station
AAOot luc AaNtof btCNAori1
have related them And l may add tha
! have them on the excellent authority
Of Chief Detective Virgins lnow In t5e
employ Of another railway company)y
himself
1t naturally occurred to me, at the
times when be told me the story: How
did Chief Detective Virgins get his in
formation? l asked him the question
pointblank. But-possibly. owing TO
the noise OF an engine just then blow
ing of steam-he didn't appear to have
heard what / said At any rate. he
merely made the irrelevant remark chat
the wind had gone round 10 the east.
and he shouldn't wonder II We didat
get some snow.-London Truth.
The Washington times., 1903-07-05
T oSHUA BoUNCEBY was a director
Of the London and Suburban Rail-

7 oSHUA BOUNCEBY was a director
Of the London and Suburban Rail-
way Company. In appearance he
was a big, norid man. with several
chins. a capacious girth of waistcoat
and q general air of solid prosperity.
In disposition he was suspicious. med
dlesome and fussy. He seldom believed
or trusted anybody. Moreover he was
imbued with the idea that he knew
everybody else's work better than they
themselves did. and was perpetually
poking his nose tnereinto, and explain
ing in a very cocksure way how this
or that ought to be done.
He was thus, as may well be imagined,
a considerable nuisance 10 his fellow
directors, a perfect curse TO the secre-
tary and the standing bette noir of all
the company's employees, from the chief
engineer of the line to the smallest boy
in a blue linen jacket who had recently
been engaged to dust out the company's
booking Offices at their most insight
ficant station.
To make matters worse Joshua
Bounceby was q gentleman at large. so
that he was able 20 devote all his time
TO the exercise OF these amiable lido
syncrasies. Not a day passed but what
he was fussipg about somewhere on
the railway turning the directorial eye.
like n policeman's lantern. on the pro-
ceedings Of all the engine drivers. fire.
men, guards, ticket inspectors. porters
and booking clerks who had tho misfor-
tune to encounter him.
How he came the Almighty Jupiter
over these poor men. How he hectored
how he admonished them The engine
driver might have been driving for
twenty years, but he was no match at
the business for Joshua Bounceby The
fireman might have been stocking all his
life. but he was a fool at the operation
by comparison with J. B. The ticket
Inspector might have been ticxet-in-
specting ever since the line was opened.
but he was a mere babe at the game
when pitted against this omniscIent
amateur.
Look herei That's not the way.
This is the way-d'ye hear. feller7''
And the teller" who probably had a
wife and children. or. at any rate. his
own bread and butter to consider. would
touch his cap with outward respect, but
with inward derision. wrath and loath-
ing. Did not Joshua Bounceby richly
merit these sentiments from all who
knew him?
But the individual who, for his sins,
came for larger share OF our direc-
tors unwelcome attentions than any
other man In the company's service was
Chief Detective Virgins. Chief Detec-
tive Virgins was. as his title implies.
head of the railway detective staT.
whose duties were TO keep sharp look
out FOR persons travelling without tick
The Washington times., 1903-07-05


"E UpHEMIA' some ones raODias
r at the street door You go
round to the side gate and
peep. There's a dear"
EupheInia raised her sun bonneted
head from the rose bush she was prun-
ing and listened. Sure enough the dry
metallic "ciack" OF the knocker could
be heard through the drowsy summer
air Euphemia came back quickly from
her scrutiny at the side gate and bran
disbed her garden shears dramatically.
Sister Felicia, it's that Luke SOL
omon,"
Guess he's come TO see us about the
money he owed father" Sister Fe-
licia put down her pan of half-shelled
peas.
'Euphemia, you're never to bring
snippens into the parlor,'
Now. Sister Felicia said Euphe-
mia, nodding darkly. you don't know
that Luke Solomon. Why, be might try
TO murder one OF u.s." and she Rugged
Snippens' black and tan body close IN
her arms while the dog grumbled con-
fortably like a little wash boiler.
moment later the three opened the
fashioned street door and ushered
their visitor into the quaintest OF mini
allure parlors. The visitors name gave
one the impression that he sprung
from the famous seven tribes. and his
prominent nose. red hair and blue eyes
rendered II a positive certainty. He
spoke through his nose.
"Bording. Bliss Flishi. Hobe see
you both we'll" Mr. Luke Solomon
seated himself heavily in a tiny gilt
chair Il cabe TO see you aloud that
honey Of your fathers. Have you god
by node Of hand for the one hundred
dollars?"
Why, no." said Sister Felicia. quick
ly. "and you know IT. The day before he
died-this is Saturday-it was Monday
father said he'd loaned you a hundred
dollars q year ago. You told him al
the time that between men who know
one another a note wasn't necessary.
All we have Is the entry in his diary"
Hum" commented Mr. Luke Solo
mon. as he squinted refectively al q
tall what-not which was evidently in
his confidence. You can'd expect me
to pay you, Llec. hiss Felishi. The law
wound supOrd dead peoples diaries, you
do"
Luke Solomon, you mean you'll not
pay this honest debt, when we need the
money so, too?' Jared up Euphemia.
do, l wOn'd." At each word he
thumped the little folding table till
the flowers primped against their vase.
Bud III give you twenty-five dollars
for a receipt and that page outer Bis
ter Chinkerble's diary. / cau'd do adv
fairer than that. Cub. dow, Bliss Fiji
shi. as betweed Christiads"
Sister Felicia cooked up her Presby-
terlan nose at him. No, sir, you pay
us what you owe US. Our nephew s
coming here from Boston today He'll
have the law on you"
Well" said Mr.. Solomon, shaking
an omnibus forennger, I've dud by
dudy. Go get your old nevy." Leaving
the two prim old ladies petrifed with
horror az this yelled threat he crammed
his greasy beaver on his red head and
stamped out.
The Washington times., 1903-07-05

Then will you tell me why you touch
ed every fourth upright IN the ratings
as you passed along Just now?"
The young mans cheek flushed with
shame and annoyance. and he replied
rather sharply; II can't conceive. sir
how that is any business Of yours"
You are perfectly entitled to mako
me that answer said 1, with a smile
and, to tell the truth, I quite expected
that you would. But as you see I an
an invalid, and being unable TO go about
as you can, little things are apt 10 &c
quire en- unnatural Importance in my
eyes Ny curiosity has been reused. and
If you can see your way to gratifying it
should really feel obliged 10 you. Be-
sides. you know you promised TO do nc q
favor"
''oh, WE'LL" said the youngster in IN
off-hand way and with a toss Of his
shoulders that l thought became him
vastly. IF you care to know. the fact is
I was seeking for a mark on the rail-
ipgs-a signal"
"Yes?"
You see that big house opposite? II
is girls school, and one Of the Young
ladies there"
He stopped and hesitated for word
olushing furiousIy.
With whom you are In lover"
Il suppose you would call Il that
She is very I'll, and daren't go TO asl
how she IS. They wouldn't tell me II ]
did"
But whyT"
because she IS a ward IN chaucery,
and they have got IN Injunction"
Against you? Upon my word, my
young man. you are beginning early"
Don't make fun OF me, please. sir.
can't stand it, and might say some
thing that would not be respectful aud
be horribly sorry for # afterward."
81 assure you I am not laughing "A,
you nor thinking OF such thing" said
L And as I looked into the lads in
genuous face wished could have had
such a boy TO call me father. But ]
don't understand yet about the signal, "
added.
1T was Carrie Embleton. one OF the
little girls. who promised that II Win
ME was better she would make a sticky
smear on one Of the ratings. but !
haven't been able 20 find IT, And / am
afraid she will not get better; she may
die. and / shall never see her again"
How would II do n were to 20 10
the house and ask for herr"
"oh, sir. II you would! And do you
think might go with your"
I pondered for a moment. and Just
then Jenkins, my man, came around the
corner Of tho street. That gave me an
idea.
Suppose you take my mans place and
wheel me up TO the house?" I said
Then you viii have 70 help me up the
steps, for / can't walk for myself, AMI ]
can make tho excuse that I want 10
have you within call 20 bring you into
the sitting room. II you arc not afraid
OF being recognized that might do"
81 don't think Mrs. Heirose would
recognize me coming as your servant.
aud IL she did II wouldn't much matter:
she could only turn me out" As he
spoke he laid his hand on the long han
dies OF the chair.
/ dispatched jenkins on another err
The Washington times., 1903-07-05

rand, and the young man wheeled me
up to the big house. On the way asked
his name and he told me Il was Edward
Hetherington.
We were admitted without any Difficult
", and as We waited for the mistress Of
the house to appear my companion whis-
pered to me something rather important.
which had quite forgotten. The young
lady's name, he said, was winifred Cor
don, and she had neither father nor
mother
Hrs. Melrose swept into the room. a
well-developed specimen OF her class,
and came up 10 me when she perceived
my helpless condition. Hetherington
stood modestly near the door.
Il called to inquire said, after tho
health OF one OF your pupils IN whom I
am interested-a Miss Gordon. I was
told that she was seriously ill.,"
she was. but l am glad TO say that
she is better. She is to come downstairs
today for the FIRST time since her III
ness"
Il am sincerely glad to hear IT," said
I. May ask you the nature of her
| illnessT'
"Oh, nothing infectious, assure you.
A sort OF low fever. The foolish child
fancied herself In love with a very pre-
sumptuous young man. Perhaps you
may know the circumstances"
said knew something of them.
We'll, she was so silly as to allow
that 10 upset her considerably. And
this news about her uncle hrs, OK course,
retarded her recovery"
Her uncle?"
Yes. Have you not heard7 II is
really the most sCandalOus thing. Mr.
Gordon was believed TO be one of the
wealthiest men In Bombay. He was
very Indignant when he heard OF the
love affair l alluded TO and Immediately
told his solicitor to settle e1OO for him
on Winnie so that no might make her q
ward Of chancery and be able 10 get an
Injunction against the young mani for
get his name"
"HetheringtOu2"
Eyes, Of course. that is II. Well. now
II turns out that the mans wealth was all
rAeAAA anu ptftFAoS-s iAt fldo btSh ~ az
tically bankrupt for years. and may
think myself lucky that was paid my
st terms bill. OF course, shall &c,
nothing for this term. but fortunately
II has Just commenced"
"Then you mean that Winnie must &c
out TO India7"
THAT would be a wild-goose chase
said the schoolmistress with a lIttlC
scornful laugh. NO one knows precise
ly what has become OF Mr.. Gordon-at
least, have not been able TO learn any
thing Of his whereabouts, and / fancy
moro than one Of his creditors would
give a good round sum to get his ad.
dress"
Then what IS 90 become OF Winnie -
THAT is just what / should so very
much Ike 10 know. ] hoped when the
servant told me you had come 20 inquire
for her. that you might have something
TO propose-something In the nature oil
home 10 offer her"
shook nav head
Then what is TO become OF the poor
child l cannot imagine. She is toe
young to earn her own living-much toe
young. ] cannot send her TO the work
house. and yet / cannot be expected to
keep her here for nothing"