The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-09-19
THE STORY OF A TRAGEDY

: And the bridegroom. Gentle reader, we
hate to refer to him. We hate to harrow
the feelings Of any reader Of The Jour-
nal on this quiet Sunday morning by
trying Ito describe man with yellow
chin whiskers, ears which stuck out at
right angles from his head and a nose
which had been in a railroad accident.
How can a young and blooming girl mar
iryoany man? It beats all. But how can
a young and blooming girl marry a
man with yellow whiskers and broken
nose, believing in her heart that she loves
him? Let the heavyweight philosopher
tackle subject like that and make the
most of it. In his doddering, awkward
way, the bridegroom was affectionate and
considerate, but he looked so cheap be-
side the bride! His smile was idiotic as
he received congratulations after the ora
deal, and he looked cheaper than ever.
| for the bride was calm and collected.
| still braced up by the wonderful womanly
lcourage, which beats anything masculine
| all to pieces. And he was positively abb
/ ject and ape-like when he tried to look
as tho he enjoyed the rice and old shoes;
while the bride looked as tho she had
been accustomed to showers Of that sort
| al her life.
| The bridegroom got ready for the cere-
mony without a bit Of effort On Mon
day he was hustling around at his usual
business, trying to sell real estate. He
had no string Of milliners fussing around,
trying to make his hat set straight, or
match the yelling with his whiskers; no
old maiden ladies were criticizing the cut
of his suspenders, or trying to make his
teeth harmonic with his finger nails The
| few people of his own sex who knew that
he was about to be Joined in the bonds
of holy matrimony dropped in accidentally
! and asked him what sort Of cigars he was
smoking, and expressed their coincidence.
AS for his apparel, that caused him no
worry. He had called at the tailor's shop
and ordered a new suit Previously he
had always purchased his garments at
| the hand-me-down warehouse, but he
probably thought that some little extra
was necessary upon such such an occa-
sion as his wedding. The tailor made him
/ the conventional black suit; the trousers
/ were full Of wrinkles below the knees,
and the coat was baggy in the back; but
when he was assured that the outfit fI-
ted him like der baper on der VAIL" he
took the tailor's word for it, There was
no galaxy of grandmothers to pin things
together and have him measured prop
erly. Probably the bride was ashamed
of him when he stood up in his wrinkled
|trouserloons and his unspeakable coat, but
she stif1ed her signs and hoped for the
best. She would teach him how to dress
/ himself.
Evangeline and her husband were mar
i ried after a very brief courtship, and
neither one understands the character of
the other They are not suited in any
way; they were led into matrimony by a
few moonlight walks, a few buggy rides;
la few dances; by the fact that the girl
was tired of dfudgery, and the man was
tired of living at boarding houses Evan
: geline is all sentiment and romance; the
; bridegroom is as hard as nails, as matter
: of-fact as glue, as stingy as the mtsers
q LOT history. The bride likes to spend
money; the bridegroom likes to hoard it;
|, he pinches a nickel until the marks of his
!, FINGERS remain on 1t.
Everybody save the parties Immediately
t interested knows that the match is a
: mistake and is bound to result unfor-
tunately. Yet there was no trouble In
securing a license; no trouble in hiring q
smiling clergyman.