New-York tribune., 1903-01-07
THE TALK OF THE DAY

The great majority of broadminded and loyal
admirers of college football would like to see fewer
mass plays and more open work. more finesse
and strategy, moro trials for goal from far OH IN
the fields, more long range kicks and punts more
deft escapes from tackles. more dazzling runs
Mass plays too often smack of mere brute force
lust Kittenish-"Men is sho' ickle," said Miss
Miami Brown. "Dey goes Dack Oh you oh "S
What's been happenin'?' asked Miss Alice JEFF
fersGn Mr Rastns Pinl1ley come aroun tryn to kiss
ne an s9 SO aS n not wifi 70 non am es foh dat he
Tilted me!'-( Washington Star.
Upon reading the poetic address made by Attor-
ney John Atwood to jury at Emporia In a Damage
suit against the Santa Fe. one of the railroad at
torneys at Topeka took on coal and water and
went speeding down the tracks of rhyme in these
swift stanzas:
Once on fervid arid day.
About four miles from town.
A measv stack of musty hay
And a farmers barn burned down
Who burned my barn. the farmer cried
Who burned my st stack ok, OF raI1iisd nay
II threw match that way.
"who burned my barn?. the farmer prayed;
who burned my stack of feed?
The cook threw Goals said the dairy maid;
The hired man agreed
..who burned my barn?" the farmer bawled;
''Who burned my clover stack?
"AI scorched adown the back"
..Who burned my barn." the farmer roared;
''Tne roam mules home and hearth?'
Till it reached exc Leavenworth
John Atwood heard what the echo brought,
These soothing words the farmer caught:
There's a railroad four miles soGth
His pass John Atwood quickly took,
And to that farmer Sped
In spite of boy and tramp and cook
He cried, We've got EN- dead!
Full soon into the jury box
Come twelve We ad m men n goGid n,itnesed and true
They knew just what to do.
John Atwood reads 'em verses sweet,
Which just melt in his mouth,
The Jury need not leave their seat
There's railroad four miles south
The death rate from the holiday folly of reckless
firing of pistols and other weapons has exceeded
the list of fatal accidents in earlier This sort
of inexcusabe abuse has been tolerated too long.
At banquet in Ottawa s sRSaker oas,d was greeted ed
said reminds me Of the little boy whose mother
stepped to the door and called Willie! Willie,
the barn and said: Do you want me. ma. or are
you only jes' hollerin' 2? '-tKansas City Journal.
To oalSlyn. few miles from Camden, N j.
there will go tomorrow many messages of SYM
pathy and congratuaton from prominent in
the political and business affairs OF New-Jersey,
ard directed to William Bettle State Commissioner
of Banking and Insurance. Mr. BEETLE was born
on January s. 1890 For years he was the principal
lieutenant and chief adviser of General Sewell in
a member of the Republican State committee his
advice was always valued. Mr. Bettle has always
been noted for his quiet, gentle, unobtrusive man.
ner He never held public office until Governor
Griggs appointed him Banking and Insurance Com
missioner in 1897. Governor Voorhees, reappointed
him in 1860. Since General Sewells death Mr..
Bettle's health has been poor and his friends are
glad to be able to congratulate him on reaching
his seventy-thrd birthday.
city Nephewatve os very g many of the farmers
around here 6Gngh{ god eacsarafe tbsrs n
suficiency of EN- to warrant their i oiEganizn an
Puck
Fuel stimuants have been extensively advertised
in various quarters, and In these days OF scarce
and costly coal it is likely that good many people
have been induced to try them who, under ordinary
circumstances would not consider 1t worth their
while to give any attention to them Investigation
of these preparations shows that they have no
efficacy whatever; of them costing 80 cents per
six ounce package. was analyzed and found to
consist chiefly of common salt with per-
manganate OF potassium and coloring matter The
purchasers of this stuff were assured by the manu-
facturers circular that It would half their
coal bills prevent smoke. consume coal gas. SCOT
and cinders, make poor coal, hard or soft do the
service of good coal. and accomplish variety of
other semi-mraculous results. But experiments
showed that ii would do OF these things-that
like Hodges razors. it was made to sell. all it's
utilities being in the preliminary breg. The cost of
the ingredients to the manufacturers may he rough
" stated at a cent pound and it's selling price
somewhere In the neighborhood of 81 no pront
sharing being provided proposed for the
purchaser. who is. however, in measure pro-
tected from by being warned of as a result Of
his first experiment.
Thoroughly Reiiabe.-"So you have system by
which you can't lose at roulette?'
II have answered the thrifty young noblemau
charge them commission for playing il al Monte
arlo."-(Washington Star