The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1903-12-19
UNCLE BENJAM1N,s PARROT.

UNCLE BENJAMIN'S PARROT.
1t was getting late in the evening
of the third day before Christmas
when there came violent pull at our
front doorbell, and on the door being
opened Uncle Benjamin, covered with
snow and out of breath from fighting
against the wind, entered. "Oh,
what weather What weather." he
puffed and gasped, as he kicked off
his wet overshoes and reckless1y
scattered the snow from his overcoat
on the clothes which were hanging
in the hall. 81 should so like cup
of coffee. 1t wouldn't disturb you
too much to make it, would it?"
OF course it didn't disturb us, no
more did Uncle Benjamin, who was
soon snugly installed in comfortable
seat by the stove.
"Oh, uncle, shut your eyes - cried
my wife, suddenly. "Your Christ
mas present is lying there on the ta-
bic near you. How could I be so
careless Please don't look that
way"
He did as requested-shut his kind
ly little eyes and waited patiently un-
til my wife said: Now, all right" "
How kind of you to think of a
present for me-" he said. lone
good turn deserves another, and I
want to give you something, too, but
I'll be hanged if I know what"
For a short time he sat with his
head in his hands looking 6xedly in
front of him. Then, all at once,
bringing his fist down on the table he
said: IF only had that parrot l
should be all right r.
''Parrot?" l asked, astonished.
"What parrot?"
Uncle Benjamin looked at me jo-
vially. Don't you know the story?
Really? Well, then, you shall hear
it. But, first of all, give me another
cup of coffee. You are well-read
man, nephew, so you ought to know
there is nothing like a good cup of
coffee and good luncheon to get
man talking"
When the beverage was ready and
Uncle Benjamin had thoroughly tast-
ed it by several hearty draughts, and
had then expressed his satisfaction, he
began his story:
ut happened several years ago.
After much hoping and waiting
Christmas day had finally arrived.
For several days before a continual
stream of presents from relatives and
friends had been steadily flowing in,
while on Christmas morning quite
number OF folks to whom I had scarce
ly given a thought sent me kindly
remembrances, SO that / felt proud
and happy, and l said to myself:
Benjamin, my boy, you must be
rather nice sort of a fellow, after all,
if these people are so proud of you as
to send you Christmas presents l
had arranged with mother (for she
was living then) how we would pile
up all the presents under the Christ
mas tree in the evening you know
all reasonable people become children
at Christmas-when another present
was brought in. 1t was from man
whom had not seen for years, and
whom I had thought of very seldom
my friend Karl Kierbaunl, who was
in America. What in the world
prompted him to send me anything l
could not for the life of me imagine !;
still less how man who was in gen
era1 so reasonable should send me
parrot, the ugliest bird in creation.
The one which 1 got was the ugliest
of its kind, and was, in addition, an
ill-tempered, ill-behaved beast. 1t
began by biting my finger, and as
soon as it was taken out of the cage
set to work to destroy the carpet.
You know l hate all birds-except
those which are roasted, of course
then 1 like them we'll enough, when
the gravy is all right. Well, how
could l be expected to fall in love
with that hateful specimen which
screeched the sharpest words and be-
haved like pagan? My wife natur-
ally thought it dear little thing and
would have been delighted to have
had it in the bedroom, just like chill
dren with their Christmas toys. But
1 insisted that the parrot should eth
er be taken into the celler, or else
chained in the dog kennel. In the
latter place it might at least have
served to warn its lord and master of
approaching danger-like the geese
of the capitol. My wife objected that
the parrot would freeze and that it
would be brutal to cause the death of
the poor, harmless creature. That l
finally admitted, but maintained that
it should not be housed in the bed
room.
"'Well,' said my wife, finally,
what shall we dor
"'Can't the bird be roasted?'
asked.
Upon which my dear better hall
threatened to lay the case before the
Society for the Prevention of Cruelty
to Animals, so saw that it would be
necessary to find some other way out
Of the difficulty. At noon an inspi-
ration came to me.
Mother | called. L have il