davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
The Naming of a Drink.
Nebraska w. c. T. q. Offers Prize for
the Right Name.

The ". c. T. L. women in Ma
braska recently offered a prize of s.
for a suitable name for non-alcoholic
fruit drinks, which should be "as
crisp and satisfactory as punch
without It's festive significance"
Somebody suggested Judy" as a
suitable word, adding, Judy is not
Punch, for you know Punch is the
'hekerr"
This incident would be unworthy of
note but for its bearing on a habit
which. if ii becomes inveterate, can
only be compared 10 opium-eating-
the habit of making bad puns. We all
know persons who do it; we have all
seen the feeble, fatuous smile which
overspreads the countenance of the
punster gazing at the stunned but not
insensible punnee. 1t Is lamentable,
dreadful habit, and it Is most un-
fortunate that IT attacks persons
otherwise in perfect physical and
moral health, gradually undermining
the mentality until the victim becomes
one to be Stunned by society and
tolerated with more or less patience
and resignation in the home.
The liquor habit Is, We have been
told. a fearful curse 10 the country =,
and no doubt the members of the w.
C.. T. L. are more familiar with its
horrors and with the proper methods
Of cure than mere outsider can hope
to become But let us not overlook
the insidious and dreadful effect Of
the bad pun habit. Let our clergy
men, our teachers, our educational au-
thorities, give their attention TO this.
There are hordes of men who take TO
drink Of their own accord; but even
a confirmed topper prefers not to be
driven TO IT.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Political Gossip
Here and There
Trusts the Main Issue.

With the approach OF another session
OF Congress and the field opportunity IT
will afford for members OF she two great
political parties to make capital for
the Presidential campaign. the subject
OF planks for the opposing platforms is
coming in for good deal OF preliminary
discussion There is no doubt that the
subject Of the so-csIled trusts" has
kept more than one able politician mus
ing as to the best manner OF treatment
when the platform comes 20 be drawn up.
That it will figure in the formal declar-
ations OF each party Is a foregone con-
clusIon In the minds OF many observers,
but on the question Of the treatment IL
VIII receive there is great variety OF
opinion.
All the valiant 'trust-busters" are not
in the Democratic fold. but it Is safe o
remark that all the vehement denuncia-
tions OF the trusts as trusts viii come
from that side. In the Republican plat
form the trust plank will doubtless fol-
low President Roosevelt's previous dec
Iarations-the summing up OF the politi-
cal wisdom of the most cautious and ex-
perienced party leaders. leavened with a
little spice OF the Executives fearless
determination to enforce the laws
against predatory combinations of
capital" But there's the rub. Where
is the line to be drawn
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Has Fame as Surgeon.

Prince Louis Ferdinand, is more than
half a Spaniard For his mother is the
Infanta Amelia, sister of the late King
Francis OF Spain. while his wife is the
Infanta Paz. sister Of the Infanta
Eulalie, and OF the late King Alfonso
XII of Spain. He has a grown-up son
and twelve-year-old daughter. whom
he caused to be christened with the
strange name OF Omnes Sancti. in order
that throughout her life she might be
under the protection, not merely of one
or even Of half dozen saints. but of all
OF them.
The prince devotes all the time not
absorbed by music TO obstetrical sur
gerry, and in the same way that his
cousin Duke Charles Theodore of Ba-
varia by his 1900 cataract operations
has restored the sight to numbers Of
his blind countrymen. Louis Ferdinand
may be said to have helped many hun
dreds of tiny Bavarians into this world
of suffering free OF cost Indeed. he en-
joys much fame in the medical world OF
Europe in connection with this particu-
lar branch OF surgery.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Courts and Capitals
of the Old World
By THE MARoUIsE DE FoSTENoY.
Prince Versus Impresario.

Prince Louis Ferdinand OF Bavaria,
who. to a greater extent than any other
member of the sovereign house OF Wit
telsbach has identified himself with the
cult for Richard Wagner, and who, since
the death OF King Louis has succeeded
the latter as the principal patron and
royal friend of the great composer s
family. has come out lat-footed in his
denunciation of the projected production
of "Parsifal' in New York, and has pub
iicly declared his amazement that a
country which has given such abundant
evidence OF its admiration and of it's re-
gard for Wagner, should permit so in
conceivable an act of "sacrilege"
(pietaetlosigkeit). Indeed. he has been
quite eloquent on the subject. and is
invoking every kind OF influence. official
and otherwise. to prevent Manager Con-
rled from putting into execution his pro-
ject OF producing 'ParsifaI" in New
York, and in other cities of the United
States during the forthcoming operatic
season.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Colonel Mashin Stripped of Honors.

Colonel Mashin. the Servian oficer
sassination OF his lster-in-law, Queen
Draga, and of King Alexander, whose
chief aide-de- camp he had been has
since been brought to justice before a
tribunal which he certainly never
dreamed at the time OF his crime would
that the grand chancellor of the French
order OF the Legion OF Honor has receiv-
ed since the tragedy OF Belgrade letters
and protests from French and foreiCn
members OF the order-some two score
of them coming from American dign!-
taries thereof-against the retention on
its roster of the name of an acknow-
lodged murderer such as the regicide
Colonel Mashin In Difference 10 these
demands the grand chancellor. Gener al
Florentin, summoned a meeting Of the
council of the order which after due con-
sideration of the case. decided that the
colonel. in view OF the fact that he had
not only been the ringleader OF the as
sassins of King Alexander and Queen
Draga, but acknowledged having fired
the first shot on the defenseIess woman.
had rendered himself unworthy TO re-
tain any longer the cross of command
er of the Legion OF Honor. conferred
upon him when he was at Paris as chief
OF the military household OF the ILL
fated Alexander. whom he subsequently
betrayed and killed
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Name Erased From Roster.

In consequence thereof the colonel's
name was erased from the roster OF the
order. and the Servian government was
notified OF the fact. a piece of news
which cannot fail 10 give satisfaction
10 the two hundred or more members Of
this French order in the United States.
The colonel has already been deprived
OF all those other foreign orders of
knighthood which figure in such profu-
sion on his breast in the portraits pub
lished of him al the time OF King Alex
ander's assassination. and ere long il is
probable that King Peter in turn will
find means OF Kidding himself OF the
presence in his encourage of an officer
who is an object of such universal and
well-merited repulsion and execration.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
A Difference in Opinion.

Rear Admiral Charles 5 Cotton, who has
been entertained abroad with singular splendor
and heartiness, sat one evening at dinner par
~ beside the Bishop Of Durham, a clergyman
ncted for his Wit
Near the bishop there was a millionaire man.
ufacturer, a stout man with loud. coanse
laugh who ate and drank good deal, and WIN
cracsed every little while a stupid joke
one Of this mans jokes was leveed at the
brilliant Bishop OF Durham, whom he did not
know from Adam. II was enough for him that
lie bishops garb clerical Here was
parson; therefore. chance to poke a little fun
a. the parsons trade.
Il have three sons he began in loud tone
nudging his neighbor and winking toward the
bishop-''three fine lads They in trade.
mad always said that il ever had a stupid son
I'd make parson oi him"
The millionaire roared out his discorlant
laugh and the Bishop Of Durham said to him
with q quiet smile:
Your father thought differently from you
eh?''-New York Tribune
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Be Fair to Automobiles.

To the Editor of The Washington Times:
With the enforcement Of the new automobile
regulations, which go into effect tomorrow. it
would not be amiss to caution the bicycle
policemen against overtaking automobile
which has hundred yards start of them in
a0 yards, examining the speedometers the
bicycles and then arresting the chauffeur for
exceeding the speed limit. The bicycle police
men are so strongly convinced that they 'can
do no wrong" that such advice from their
superior officers would perhaps have little ef-
feet, but it might be of service TO a few.
This abuse is not new TO bicycle riders in
the District. stern chase Is not always )
long chase. especially when the policeman is
allowed to ride st any speed he thinks neces-
sary and may go at sixteen miles an hour TO
catch a man travelling at rate Of eight miles
hour. A. +. l..
Washington, September L.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
A British Shamrock Poem.

| cannot sing the old songs,
The songs OF hope and joy.
Which lightly glided from my tongue
When ! was but boy;
Then, Britain led the universe.
And al her deeds were great;
Now they are not-and Lipton's yacht
Was seven minutes late.
Oh. whe could sing the ancient songs
In dreGTy timGS like these.
When FTenchn.en beat US of the turf,
And Germans rule the seas,
When Yankee shots at Bisley
Take of the Palma plate,
Ard Shamrcck's race gives her a place
Just seven minutes latee
The anchor is no longer weighed,
Britannia rules no waves.
Tom Bowling and bis Ike are laid
Unhanored in their graves:
The sea upon its cold gray stones
Breaks with a sound ! hate
Because the yacht that Upton owns
Was seven minutes late.
"A. ". b. IN the London Chronicle.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07

ceased to inquire for houses or apart
ments really suited 10 their incomes,
but go on paying unduly large rents.
The result of this is that while one
can be properly housed for from $40
to 500 a month and upward, and
while laboring people can get dwell
ings commensurate with their means,
the clerk or other tenant of moderate
income cannot find a house with
bathtub and a furnace short of $50 or
$40 a month. There are comfortable
little homes of that sort IN the city,
but they seldom become vacant, and
if they do they never stay vacant
long. The tenants know too well
when they have a good thing.
There ought to be several hundred
more small houses and apartments
here, within easy reach of the offices,
and renting for from SIS to $50 a
month Such living places exist, as
has been said, and rent for these
sums; but there are not half enough
of them. 1t would pay to build them.
They would be occupied by perma
nent tenants, and the rent would be
paid all the year round, whereas ten
ants of this class often give up their
/ houses in June and store their belong
ings, rather than pay an exorbitant
rent all summer while they are out of
town.
The erection of small houses and OF
apartment houses containing small
suites of three and four rooms would
dc more to make real estate conditions
stable and life in Washington a set
tied affair for the great middle class
than any other one thing. 1t would
do away with the clearinghouse ele-
ment in our life, and help us make
Washington a residence city for peo-
pie with incomes of less than $4,000
year. These people may not be SO
much before the public as members of
Congress, but there are more of them,
and, in the mass, they are quite as
we'll worth considering.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Good Trusts and Bad Ones.

In the eyes OF the Democrats out Of
Office all the trusts are a menace. But
the hearts of the Republicans control
ling the destinies OF the Administration
cannot be chilled so quickly by the ieaI-
Gus whisperings of those who are not
yet plutocrats. First prove a trust is
bad and then show that some particular
trust is bad; then, IL we are convinced
it is bad, il will be restrained-but not
crushed That would be a blow TO in
FAINT Industries
This is the substance Of what The
Democrats expect TO see in the Repub-
lican platform-assurances Of whatever
aggressive action is advisable TO curb
the trusts. but a splendid vagueness as
to any definite restriction or punitive
measures.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Governor Budd's Views.

If there is a trust buster who wants
to know the best way of going about the
business in real earnest. he ought 20 sit
at the feet of Ex-Governor Budd. OF
California and learn wisdom from that
sage The former executive of the Col
den State feels confident OF the efficacy
in a political way of a red-hot anti
trust declaration and tells his Demo-
cratic friends not to be chary about
their words of denunciation. He de-
clares the Republican expressions in
the matter need not be taken seriously.
as the leaders are all financially inter
ested in the trusts. He thinks they viii
pretend TO do something serious. but in
raIity treat the whole matter as a joke
when the election is over.
The ex-governor thereupon-entireiy
overlooking the Hon. Jamesky Jones'
round bale interests and sundry other
matters which indicate something OF an
appreciative personal view OF trust
commodities on the part of prominent
Democrats-is reported as having de-
livered himself OF the following effu-
sion. in the course OF an interview IN
his foreign travels recently:
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Family Jars Mended.

Grand Duke Paul OF Russia. appears 10
be gradually recovering the good will
Of his family from which he had be-
come estranged by his union. in de-
fance OF the Cars orders. with the di-
vorced wife Of his aide-de-camp, Colonel
Baron PisteIkers. For the grand duke
and his wife have just had long in
terview at the hotel of the Four Sea
sons at Munich, with his only sister,
Grand Duchess Marie, widow of the late
Sovereign Duke of Coburg and Of Edin-
burgh parting on the most affectionate
terms.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
A Mixup of Remedies.

John ". Ransome, the comedian, is physic-
ally, OF quite ample proportions. fact which
has caused hIm considerable anxiety. Not long
ago he came across an especially persuasive ad-
vertiseuenJ describing the virtues Of certain
remedy for coIpulence. Mr. Ransone sent for
bottle, and was amazed to find, in three
weeks time. that he had lost eleven pounds.
OveriOyed he wrote letter TO the firm testi-
fying to the efficacy Of their treatment and au-
thorized them TO publish it.
4 few days later he received a reply thank
ing him for mis- kindness, but adding: I'VE
have concluded that we viii not publish your
letter, be, aus. upon reference to our books,
We find that, by a stupid error on the part OF
one 0i our clerks, you were sent the Royal
Remedy for Epileptic Fits We are delighted
and surprised to learn that it reduced your
weight. "-HaTper's Weekly.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Daily Calendar of American History.
September 7.

SeplenloeI 7.
17S1-British fleet. under Admiral Graves,
appears in the Chesapeake.
1S47-Armistice granted Mexicans by
General Scott ended on this date.
Salt Lake City founded by the
Mormons.
1S6S-Confederates evacuate Fort Wag-
ner.
1s67-Genersl amnesty proclaimed by the
President.
1S69-Commercial convention meets at
Keokuk, Iowa.
1SS6-American yacht Mayfiower defeats
British yacht GalaJea off New York
in international race for America S
Cup.
1S9l-New Chilean government officially
recognized by the United States.
1S92-John Greenleaf Whittier. poet, bora
1907, died at Hampton Falls, n. II.
1S93-Hamilton Fish, Ii. D., ex-governor
of New York, and Secretary OF
State under Grant, born 1908, dies
at Garrison, n. Y.
190o-Destructive tornado visited Gal
weston, Texas
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
General Won Einem.

With regard to Emperor Williams new
minister of war, General Won Einem.
who has just been promoted to TINS
post over the head of hundreds OF MS
seniors, also is non-Prussian, Dc
ing a Hanoverian by birth In fact, MS
father was killed by the Prussians IN
1866, at the battle OF Langensalza, where
he commanded the Cambridge dragons
of the Hanoverian army. meeting with
his death in an heroic attempt 70
seize the Prussian guns which were de-
cimating the Hanoverian infantry After
his horse had been killed under him he
fought afoot, rejecting all invitations
TO surrender. and offers Of quarter, un-
til at length he was felled to the ground
by several bullets, three bayonet
thrusts and a couple OF terrible saber
cuts
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
In Search of an Investigation.

To the Editor Of The Washington Times:
Will you kindly inform subscriber. and one
who is greatly interested in the affairs OF the
District government, what has become Of the
much heralded investigation which was in
stituted several weeks ago by the Commission
ers? The local press had good deal to say
about what this committee was going to ac-
complish, but, for all the public know. the
earth has opened and swallowed the committee
the investigation, the press, and everything else
pertaining 10 it.
A. o. B. AND A TAXPAYER.
Washington, September j.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
The Housing Problem.
Small Houses Are Scarce in Wash
ington.

This is the time when the problem
of a roof over ones head becomes
serious in Washington-more serious,
perhaps, than land spectators and
builders understand. This city con-
tains a large proportion of people
with small families, small incomes,
and refined tastes; and this is the
class apparently left out Of the cal
culations Of the real estate improve
nlent associations. The deceptive fea-
ture of the situation may be that most
of these people, having found by ex-
rerience that cheap lodgings are
likely to be undesirably small, dirty,
or otherwise Objectionable, have
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Told in an Idle Hour.
Mansfield as a Critic.

Clyde Fitch says that on one occasion
budding playwright managed 70 gain access TO
Richard Mansfield for the purpose Of reading
play to him.
Mansfield took the manuscript from the mans
hands and glanced over il for perhaps twenty
minutes. Then he gave it back with a few
words OF suggestion and criticism.
II do not think, Mr. Mansfield" said the am
bilious writer. that you should dispose Of my
ideas in this summary fashion That play cost
me a years hard labor
'Indeedr' said Mr. Mansfield my dear
chap, an impartial Judge would give you al
least ten!'-Ntw York Times.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Her Degree of Courage.

Annie had been suffering from toothache for
several days Al last she consented to go
with papa 10 the dentist When she was starting
her mamma said:
Now, dearest be brave little girl. Show
fortitude, and mamma will be proud Of YOU
In due time Annie returned. And did YOU
show iortitude?" mamma inquired.
Annie hesitated 1T hurted awful, mamma
guess (refectively) 81 showed about twenty
tude. kansas City Journal
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
More Criticism of Our Police.

To the Editor of The Washington Times:
fully agree with Reader in his article IN
last nights Times The Washington police
force needs an overhauling, especially in the
matter Of walking about the streets with big
bludGeons in their hands and all of different
eolors, thing entirely out OF date now in all
large cities; hats on the back Of their heads;
coats thrown open, showing their dirty shirts,
and mouths trimmed with tobacco Juice, and
general slovenliness Give me the policemen
OF twenty years ago. with their spotless white
vests. neat straw hats, and military bearing.
Their places seem to have been taken by lot
OF countTymen. A TOURIST.
Washington SeDtpfnher
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Sharp Expression of Opinion.

President Roosevelt's antitrust decla-
rations are hollow. He has done abso-
Iutely nothing, he has not even applied
the existing machinery OF the law He
is simply a man on horseback-an Amer
lean Boulanger. The people are growing
weary Of the spectacular ostentation.
They do not like to see President
adopting the autocratic habits OF Car.
The people hate fictitious prosperity.
Inflated values deceive them. The trusts
are responsible for these deceptions.
Congressional legislation can and will
find a remedy"
Thus the political pot is beginning TO
boil At this rate it ought to provide
much merriment and induce a great
deal OF sober thought on the great sub
ject of trusts.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Also Plays the Fiddle.

Prince Louis Ferdinand. il may be
added. will take no part in the forth
coming Wagner festivities at Berlin.
Indeed, the latter. owing to the quarrels
which have arisen in connection there
with. bid fair to prove something of a
fiascO, since the Kaiser and a number
of other royal personages. who were TO
have been present at the ceremony, have
now announced that they will be unable
to attend. Inasmuch as the prince had
at the outset accepted the position OF
president OF the committee charged
with the organization of the festivities,
his refusal to take any part therein is
attracting good deal of attention, and
is generally ascribed TO his close friend
ship with the Wagner family, which
does not approve of the forthcoming
celebration at Berlin and will, like the
prince. be conspicuous by its absence.
Prince Louis Ferdinand is now at
work on the composition of an opera, the
theme of which is the weIl-k known Ger
man drama of HebbeI, entitled Der
Gyges and Sein Ring" He is likewise a
virtuOso Of the violin. and in the re-
cent performance OF the Cycle" at the
Prince Regent Theater at Munich, was
seen in the orchestra each night play
ing the first fiddle
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
The Drift of Public Opinion.

Hartford Courant: Filtering the water at
Philadelphia will not come to much until they
have filtered their politics.
New York World: In paroeling out Govern
ment deposits TO favored banks Secretary Shaw
has chance TO make for the Administration. in
Ben Buffers famous phrase. ninety nine enc
mics and one migrate"
Philadelphia Inquirer: Womsn's superiority
10 man in the social scale is established
American duchesSes becoming numerous, but
there can never be an American duke.
Chicago News; II Carnegie Is right and Eng
lard and the United States are destined to oe
one, We may as well serve notice right here, 50
as to prevent future complications. that We
are TO De the one
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Old Man Killed by a Turkey.

The story from Oklahoma Of two-year-Old
child being killed by Plymouth Rock rooster
reminds one Of a tragedy in North Carolina,
which is related "a follows: MANY years ago
North Carolina judge, ex-judge-Judge
Spencer Of Anson-was illed by turkey. He
Sa= = very old man, and was sitting in the
yard With red skull cap on his head. The
red attracted the attention Of the turkey. and
lngered il. and it few upon the wearer of the
1ap and pecked, spurred. and beat him TO
leath. .'-Charlotte Observer.
The Washington times., 1903-09-07
Germany's New Treasury Chief.

Inasmuch as the new German minister
of finance and chief of the treasury OF
the empire will have no little say in the
conduct of the commercial relations be-
tween Germany and the United States
IL may be of timely interest to state
that Baron Won Stengel is a Bavarian. a
fact which has given much satisfaction
in, southern Germany. Indeed Herr Won
Stengel, whose barony dates from 1870.
has for a number of years past been one