The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-07-15

eyes, he answers. Wanted to trade
him some cherry lumber fer furniture
aspect we can trade says I.
How much lumber you got?'
Don't know how much, yit.'
'Seasoned?' I asks
W-e-e-l, no. he answers, kin o.
slow like. Fact is jest set out the
cherry sprouts this spring; but 1
lowed they'd be growed into trees big
enough for lumber by the time Andy
had' the furniture ready
Whiss threw away the stump of the
cigar, chuckling automatically. Then
he ran his chubby fingers through his
shock of hair and remarked, reflec-
lively:
Seems most men have certain gait
an speed-an' amt capable of no 9TH
er. or Andy never got in hurry but
twice in his life; an both times it got
him into trouble. The first time was
when he was askin' silent blessin' at
the breakfast table one mornin'. Jest
as he was in the middle of his squirm-
in agony he happened to hear the OF
COW smashin' down the gate that led
from the barnyard into the garden
patch, an purity near upsettin' the
table, an he hoMers loud enough to
keel the bark off'm tree:
There's that burned OF heifer git
tim into the sweet corn ag'in, thee
knows! Call the dog, David! Dad rot
her pesky OF hide-I'll stove her ribs
in!'
can out the door he went-like a
skeered rubbit out of it's squat. The
whole neighborhood heerd his violent
language, an was scandalized, Of
course; an OF Andy come mighty nigh
gittin' churched fer his hasty words
an temper.
"The other time him an his son
David was ridin' long the road one
Sunday mornin' on Their way to Quaker
meetin'. Jest beyond Jim Furniss's
place, on the OF Roosterville road,
they come upon squirt gatherin'
nuts under hick'ry tree. The squirt
saw them bout the time they saw it,;
an it give a f1irt to its tail, jumped
onto the rail fence an lit out fer tall
timber like streak O. moonshine. OF
Andy got excited to once, an hollered:
"'After him, David! Well run the
little rascal down, thee knows!'
"Then both of EN- dug Their heels
into th'r poky OF plow-nags, an went
gallopin' down the road-leavin' a
cloud O. dust behind 'em, so thick you
couldn't cut it with knife.
"Well, sir, the squirt kept the fence,
fer bout quarter of a mile; then it
jumped off onto tobacker house close
| to the road, am skinned round the cor
ner of it.
"'Jump off an tie thee horse, David
an get thee club!' Oh Andy shout
ed. We've got the little varmint cor.
| nered, thee knows!'
can off they both tumbled: Andy
! went round the tobacker house, one
way, an David went round t'other.
Andy come upon the squirt just round
the first corner, an cracked lick at it
with tobacker stick, that would ave
| jolted meetin' house Away went the
squirt round the next corner, whisk-
in its tail an a-chatterin' like all-pos-
sessed; an after it went oil Andy
jest awhoopin' an yellin':
"'Here he comes, David-head him
off! Crack it to him as he turns the
next corner, thee understands
well, David done jest as Oh Andy
advised. He struck ton at that squirt;
but missed it slick an clean = an
fetched his daddy elite that purity
near laid the OF sinner out. Andy
dropped his club, clapped both hands
to his head an hoped round on one
leg, bawlin' like yearlin' bull:
'Gee-bush-th eeself, David! Thee's
killed thee father-thee's killed thee
only father
Other people was goin' to Quaker
meetin', an big crowd of 'em had
elected in the road in front of the to-
hacker house, an was watchin' the
whole p'formance. They was SO
shocked an mortified by the p'rceedin'
that they rode away in silence, leavin'
the OF scamp a-howlin' bloody murder.
An the upshot of the matter was that
OF Andy an his boy both got turned
out O. meetin'."
"What did he do then?" l asked,
feeling intuitively that there was more
| to come.
! Jim stiffiy got upon his feet, and,
while buttoning his shaggy coat and
winding endless folds of red com
forter around his neck, concluded:
| "J'ined the Methodists down to
Mount Hebron; they didn't stay with
'em long, m finally died common
backslider. Might ave stayed with
the Methodists if it hadn't been fer his
pesky laziness an consumin' dilatori.
ness. He was so dodrotted lazy he
wouldn't go to the exertion an trouble
of wearin' specs-too much work, you
know, to be c'ntinually putin 'em on