Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1903-06-19

N~~-O~-oI-~~
A. That's Jones' daughter with him
She's just about to be married. B.
Who's the lucky man? A.-Jones-I
Punch.
Mrs. Henpeck-Wasn't he we'll off
before he got married? Henpeck-Cer-
talnly, my dear. Every man is.-New
York Sun.
Funny thing about self made men,"
Whats that?" "They never have
daughters who care for self-made
dresses."-Philadelphia Press.
Teacher-Can you tell me where the
mississippi River rises, Johnnie? John
nie-Along its entire length, maam.-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Discontinued Artist wish I had a
fortune. l would never paint again.
Generous Brother Brush-By Jove! old
man, l wish had one. I'd give it to
you!
What do you expect to be when
you become Of age, my little. manT
asked the visitor. '"Twenty-onn. SIR"
was the bright ones reply.-Yonkers
Statesman.
She-The duke has landed estates,
has he not? He-Rather! Landed one
every time he got married-but he
managed to run through 'em all.-Bos-
ton Globe.
Are Mrs. Vests entertainments
very exclusive" "Well, l should say
so; she intends to make application to
have the conversation Of her guests
copyrightedv'
Deacon Cobbs-William, If your faith
er should have $40 and some one should
give him SIS, what would he have:
William-NOthing But ma would have
new hat.-Chicago News.
what do you put on your face after
shaving?" asked the man who smelled
of bay rum. Court plaster. usually
replied the nervous chap, gloomily.-
Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.
Parson-I'm sorry to find your en-
ployer has been playing golf on Sun
day. Caddie-He wasn't playing golf
Parson-Ah, then have been mistak-
en-. Caddie-Yes! He was just trying
Mrs. Upson-"Your grandfather is an
octogenarian. is he nOt?" Mrs. Neu-
rich-"Indeed, he isn't anything of the
kind. He Is the most truthful man
ever bumped up against. ."-Chicago
Daily News.
She-How long have you been living
in New York? He-Oh, came up here
about the time they began digging up
the streets for the subway. She-Have
you been here as long as that?-Yonk-
ers Statesman.
He (bitterly)-Your answer would be
different If were rich enough to show
er you with golden eagles. She-lt
might be different, possibly, If you
should cover me so completely that |
couldn't see-New York Weekly.
Ned-Tm dreadfully worried alb"
my debts. Jack-It must be very an
noying to be continually dunned. Ned
oh, hang the duns! What worries
me is the fact that l can't get ar >
more credlt.-Kansas City Journal.
"That man." said the Guilford avenue
conductor, SIS as Inconsistent as he is
ungrateful." "Why, what is the matter
now?" "Why, t'other day he made a
big kick because he had to hang on to
n strap, and now he's growing be-
cause he can't find strap."-Balti'
more News.
Miss Youngthyng-And what wo' d
you say. George, If | were to tell yor
l didn't believe one word you say re-
parding the lasting qualities Of your
affection? George-I would say thai
YOU are far too wise for any ordinary
man to marry. Good-by.-Baltimort
American.
Upgardson-"On the strength Of your
recommendation lent Bilcombe IS the
other day, and now l find he's con
f,rmed deadbeat that never pays his
debts. You told me he was man OF
established reputation" Atom-"So ht
ia. That's the reputation he has estab
lished." d."-Chicago News.
From an authors notebook: Sold ont
poem and had five returned. Made al
most enough to pay the butcher. Solt
short story, and came within an ac'
of making enough to pay ten dollars OF
the grocery bill. Wrote an obituary OF
an ancient citizen and had Maria
shoes mended with the proceeds.
must try and write enough tonight t
buy a gallon of kerosene oil. believ
there's money In the literary business
but it's not so sure as that which come
- .,,,,&+,ng roils-Atlanta COnStl