The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1903-06-14
FUN OF THE WORLD.

relates the Westminster Gazette The first Lord Amp
thili called the Chancellor and while he waited
out came Count Harry Arnir tanning himself with
his handkerchief and looking if he were about to
choAe- Wen he said, II cannot understand how
Bismarck bear that-s-noking the strongest Ha-
Vanas In stuffy little had beg him
open the window. When the Enslshman entered
apartment he found Bismarck apparently gasplng
breath, at the window What strange tastes
people he said Arnirn has lust been with
me, and he overpowerfully perfumed I
could stand it no longer and had open the window
<
From a personal letter the following story OF the
Presidents family is taken
The present occupant Of the White House until the
recent renovation found cramped quarters
family With one two OF the little Roosevelts OF at
boarding school, there enough beds TO round.
but none to spare Wen. President
entertaining foreign envoy OF great state and
years and invited him 10 the White House over sunday
He put in Ethels room and Ethel when she
back from school Saturday Up sleep with Alice.
but unfortunately Kermit did this arrange
ment So when early morning came, mindful Of his
strenuous inheritance, he crept to Ethels room with
pitcher of water and softly the door without
awakening the slumberng Ambassador dashed forward
and threw the icy bed with the shout:
Get old lazy bones; get up
Then, when a mead lifted from the pillows.
dripping and alarmed the astonishment mutual and
his pitcher"
gzx x
There a story which Sir Edward Malet recalls OF
situation hardly equailed fiction A certain Cardinal
Gle of ladies say whether he received
startling confessions replied person who
had to him after he had taken orders desired alb
solution for murder which he confessed 10 having com
mitted. gentle shudder through Of the
audience. This turned CONSERVATION when. ten
minutes later elderly marquis the apart
ment. eagerly claimed acquaintance the Car
dinal-. But see your eminence does not remember
me- he said. You will do when remind that
I the first person who you after you
entered the service OF the church,:
x
Very amusing is the story of the strenuous ride
enderfoot New York correspondent who visited Sharon
Springs month with the Presidential
he mounted. of the cowboys said. Wow" the
conductor the train waved red flag. the engineer let
out a squirt OF steam and the correspondent went
through Sharon Springs leaving cloud of dust behind
him looked like the remains cyclone He
through fence and the OF barn. and
finally brought up against the side of another.
villagers right. remounted the horse
started again and the last seen of him he far out
the horizon sl followed by the rolling dust cloud
He in later a meek cayuse lent TO him by
friendly cowboy who incidentally informed him that he
riding the famous racehorse of that end
of Kansas, and that the horse trained when
the reins pulled tight and stop only when they
slackened
Irish undertaken laying the deceased hus-
band a weeping Hiberian widow. The corpse
a wig very difficult induce it stay
straight wigs ought always IL they don't
The bereaved widow called assist Go an git
of glue, Mrs McGovern." said the undertaken.
$50 that 1 may keep his wig where it belongs
Mrs. McGovern out after the sticking material.
Here's the glue for ye'
said she with a sigh.
Mrs. McGovern you kin take back the mucilage"
undertaken. the difficulty is fixed. I used
tack"
And that what caused the
q z
The wedding had gone of without hitch and the
bride and groom had departed amid a perfect shower
confetti rice and slippers The of departure
had been watched the delight by little
Hamilton, who with her parents Of the party
of guests remaining behind.
Then when the hum OF excitement had died away.
childish inquisitiveness manifested again.
'Why do they throw things at the pretty lady in the
carriage?" piped Ethel.
For luck. my dear" replied a bridesmaid.
And why" she asked again. doesn't the pretty lady
throw them back?"
oh" was the answer that would be rude"
wouldn't" persisted the dear little thing.
the delight Of her dong parents. who stood by. Ma
always does"
addition his many other qualities. the
CANT generosity OF Dan Leno. the Englishman
known both in and of the profession Recently in
the middle of OF his successful tours. he up
for Sunday. so happy get
home. after absence Of several months the road
that he tossed his money about like sailor shore
leave. Looking up a old waiter who had
club for many years. Dan said:
Maurice how long have you been working for this
cub?"
Ever since it started Mr.. Leno."
And what the biggest tip you received
Maurice?"
Two sovereigns."
'wen. my boy" said Leno. IN that fellow
foolish. Here's flyer for you. And by the Mau-
rice. what the name Of the fellow that gave you
two pounds
Well Mr.. .Leno" said Maurice. after he bad secured
the ive-pound note I think It you. sir"
She fashionably gowned; every particle OF
her attire up 70 date. ard every turned
give second look. As she crossing how
ever she lifted her silken skirt a higher and oh.
horror a her stocking disclosing
the white flesh OF her dainty little beneath
could help seeing II.
Gracious said I ny wife. isn't shame
young lady who IS well dressed should
less s 20 about with hole II her stockngs7r
oh. you stupid" replied ny wife. that's just
you men you that there T. a purpose IN
that That young lady that hole her stocking
purposely."
'Oh. nonsense said
NO nonsense about II. That youug lady nzdes
her small ankle. and sfe bound sttrzc;
tertion that she a hole IN her
stocking and she knows that every mfts her
skirt just little bt p@rsors going that
hole and admire that ankle
wen he certainly has preff~ I LID