The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-07-19


repertoire attachment started her to singing
"AI Coons Look Alike to Me-" Dis was de
result of engaging for de part chilled
steel, gold plated soubrette. dat played in
Casino production last week. Furder
notice is reserved, but we must urge man
ayers to see dat de song woiks of lady
autos formerly employed in comic opera is
trun out of gear, when cast for de legiti-
mate"
Oats great scheme" 1 says. "Is any
Of de stock on de market? If it is" l says
I'll go rubber at de ground floor"
mo-" says Mr.. Paul, lit was over-sub-
scribed by de Syndicate But 1 hope for de
best, Chames," says he. IF Mr.. Edison can
manufacture de auto-actors fast enough we
may be saved from being drafted into de
drama. If de woist comes to de woist, and
every New Yorker is needed to act out on
top of de stage. for de entertainment of de
strangers with our gate money, den 1
know what line of parts 1 will play"
Hand out de line" says
de soivants dat fetches on de bottles
of wine," he says. 81 notice dat very little
of de wine is drunk on de stage, and has
often taut what good ting de soivant has
when he takes de bottle Off"
! Say, honest, if ever Mr.. Paul should toss
a lip over glass of stage fizz. he'd have
de struggle of his life to remember dat he
was Christian.
| Well dat evening, as / was fussing
around de library, where de folks was hot
airing, and me keeping ice in de cooler,
and wood on de CRATE, / hears Mr.. Paul
say, II has graft" he says-only ne uses
dude woids what l toin into right English
for you-"I has a graft for to do away wit
all tax paying by de citizens of dis delight
full Island of Manhattan"
| "Good." says Whiskers. "All dat's needed
to give dis city de comforts of home is to
make dc price of living come within de
means of folks of moderate incomes, like
me-" OATS de song he sung, but cops it
right dat Whiskers rakes off an even hun
| dred thousand, woiking two days year
| cutting de fringe off bonds.
What is your plan, Paul." he says.
Tell me quick, so as 1 can have taste
of heaven before Idle
| 1T is dis says Mr. Paul. I'm going
| to form de Island of Manhattan Amusement
i Company, Unlimited. De capital will be
| few billion, but when L set fort me sus-
pectus I'll have to use a hammer TO dis
courage subscribers. 1 shall get franchise
for me company to fence in Manhattan
Island, and charge admission. In retoin for
de franchise, de company will pay de city
all de long green needed to run de money
cipal gov'ment. 1t won't be much, as de
company will do most of de woik now done
by de city; run de Police and Fire Depart
ments clean de streets, pay de office hold
ers, and
IInld
company. pays for running all dose depart
ments. why would it have to pay de city
anything"
Sir" says Mr.. Paul. "dere are soften ex-
penses in connection wit gov'ment which it
is not quite polite TO discuss in mixed COM
pany. For particulars, 1 refer you to me
friends Platt, Croker and Company. Dis
plan was suggested to me on poissonally
conducted tour about town, wit Chances to
guide me- to-day. found dat at de pres
ent rate of progress New York in little
time, will be solidly built up of teeatres and
hotels. De business is badly in need of
organization dat is a bold of a void
What?-"Of organization. 1t should be run
in community of interest Here is tee
aires being built all over de lot, wit hotels
stuck in between, and no general plan, no
|
ton, and millions of graft going to waste
because nobody has taut of me plan.''
'But what has fencing in de Island got to
do wit it? Whiskers asks.
Oats de starting poinA" says Mr.. Paul.
you couldn't keep Americans wit gold to
melt out of New York if you threatened EN-
wit smallpox and Calling guns It's de
cinchiest graft dat ever went to waste since
Noah forgot to charge admission to de Ark.
We has de goods. and de people won't be
happy until dey has EN-. Make EN- pay to
get into de shop, and den pay for what dey
gets dere. After paying all de expenses
we now meet by de foolish trick of taxing
ourselves me company will still have all
de profits of de shop for velveteen. Seer"
ut sounds big" says Whiskers.
But it's bigger dan it sounds" says Mr..
Paul. Its de graftiest graft dat ever
grew out of dcors'' he says, using some
real langwudge, which he can, when he
wants to talk straight.
Listen he says. lon me trip wit
Chames to-day, seen a hundred buildings,
costing hundred million dollars going up.
DER hundred, separate foolish owners is
paying all kinds of foolish Doodle for the
land, fer building material. for labor. and
for everything. OATS what de hundred lit
tie steel companies, and de dozen steam
ship companies paid before dey got toged-
der. What is dey paying now. l asks your?
Paying dividends says Whiskers, be-
ginning to get onto de graft.
Exactly, sir. Let us stop dis foolish
game of building a teeatre here, hotel
dere, a palm room somewhere else, and a
row of banjo flats in between. Let US get
togedder; let us organize; let us get on to
, dc game, and stop playing long shots, jus,
because dey is long. and play noting but
, cinches. wit de money handed out to us as
soon as we pick our favorite, witout wait.
. ing for de horses to be run. De whole
Island will be covered by a twenty story
. building, and as fast as a new teeatre, a
hotel. a restaurant, a mile of flats, or any
odder old kind of a joint is wanted part
: of de building will be finished to suit ten.
TZSNN SNNVEW