The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1903-03-13

says. is CndWleS Augustus. wherefore
he is called Chaw for short.
1t w what y'u might call half
mile handicap wit TIL sellin' platers
carryin' tn extra weight. What chu
think, hey?
Now, where w tn sense o. run
MIN old Mel againsta colt like Johnny.
That's what I'd like t know. Where
w the sense. Might jest s well put
up wooden man cause he'd stan jeS
much chance bein elected as Mel.
Maybe he'd stan more chance cause
wooden man wouldn't have no en-
emies and any live man has them,
makes no difference if he's Dimicrat
+ Publican.
:" But, y'u know what this here deal
looked like t me? Well, it w jes
this Mel got pizened with green
backs awhile back an out in TIN town
ship they amt many fellers available
fur party uses what's got enough OF
th' stuff t. give 'em tn itch. So, they
thought it I'D be a good game to poul-
tice Mel an relieve him o. some o. his
spurhuous coin.
mel amt wise He didn't under
stand the game fur a cent. He thought
he'd been put up fur sure huff win
ner. Thought he'd be hot favorite
with odds of about three t. one on him.
SO, when they come fur their donation
fur campaign expenses he passes EN-
out V an tells 'em t. be careful how
they spend it. Specially he tells 'em
not to buy horses an carriages with it.
g You can imagine ies' how fur that
V'd go if they started out t. purchase
tn oil O. joy an other things needful
t. 'lections. They was kind o'stagger-
ed by tn size o. th' gift an so one NV
'em give Mel soft speech about need
in little O. tn stuff to stimulate tn
action NV tn hold-outs. That was al
most MORN Mel could stan but he
past 'em out another V, an kissin' it
goodbye wanted t. know if they was
sure he'd be 'lected.
''They said he sure would be and so
Mel went off in his ole top buggy, happy
as a clam, pattin' himself on tn back
and dreaming NV his future seat
among tn solans an 'sages in tn
county room at tn court house.
"Talk about chasin' rainbow.
say, did y'u ever hear o. tn Teller what
follered up tn will-o'-th'wisp? Y'u
know W.T. becom' O. him? Vol, it w
most TIN same here. From tn time
Mel passed out that last V an got tn
'surance that he was to be IT with
wings, he never touched ground till
las Chuesday night. He was dom a
air ship stunt, tryin' t rival Santes
Dumont, or tn ole woman what tried
to scrape tn cob webs off tn moon,
Ike | read about when | was kid.
But his machine didn't have gas
enough. They was dead weight in it
some ere an he couldn t see jes' where
because he had no lookin' glass handy.
So he didn't know that after tn first
jump, while tn other fellers was MAX
in good time around tn track he was
paddlin' along with his feet draggin
an his propeller out O. gear.
"All this time, Johnny he got out
an did things. He'd never had any
practical sperience at this kind o. a
game but he'd learned somethin'
about tn winnin' bizness when he was
down t. Princeton playin' center in
that feetball prize fight game. He
knew tn principal thing was to keep
on maxim gains until finally he'd land
a touch down, an then maybe kick a
goal. Y'u see, two years ago when he
was first elected, he hadn't any op'si-
tion He didn't know that he didn't
have no op'sition this time an so he
went in jes' as if it was ole times an
he was playin' ginst the Injuns, r
tn fellers what makes tn Yale locks
an keys. He went in fur everything.
He tackled every man what went t.
vote an them what didn't come out
he went after He was bound t. win
an / mus say he come pretty near
dom TIL thing up in proper shape.
II ust t live out in tn township.
/ know that tn Dimicrats amt got
much of show. Still, they might a
done better'n they did Choosday #
they'd only had some one to grease
tn wheels o. commerce an incidental
ly to lubricate tn j'ints of tn 'flicted
Havin' lived out there y'u see know
what it requires. o. course, | wan t
t. say right here that | don't believe
any man could beat Johnny this trip
cause durin the past two years lie
made a record Whenever a bridge
washed away he went out an saw it
was fixed Immediately. Ii any farmer
wanted help in haydn time he got it
even if Johnny had to- roll his coat
sleeves up an do it himself But,
that Notwithstanding, / want t. say
right here, that any man wat runnil
fur any public Office in Morris county
don't want t use a balloon t do his
canyassin' in. He also wants t. have
his pockets well lined with tn stun
that makes tn mare go, specially
4 e s a Dimicrat AS an instance
ies look at tn late candydate fur bl t
that, as my frien' Rudyard says, IS
another story"
High Grade is the Assembly
The Trenton Times praises the AS
sembly, and being on the ground its