Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-06-22
g@Sa SUM-


~~>~S~~~~~Sc~
Nell-"You say that just before he
proposed he took your hands and
kissed you?' Kate-"Yes." Nell
well; that's what call imprudence."
She-Why do you suppose they have
all the telephone wires so high in the
air? He-Oh. that is SO they can keep
up the conversation. l suppose.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Tramp-"Is dis all yer kin gimme
er cupful Nv cold water?" Kind
Lady-"Of course not. You can have
as many cupfuls as you want."-Chi-
cago Daily News.
Edyth-"Yes, Jack Is inclined to flirt
a little, but his heart Is in the right
placer Mayme-"Indeed! How long
has it been in your !"-Chi.
cago Daily News.
A rainy day race: $50 you lost
again?" 'Of course" Couldn't the
horse you bet on rum" "Yes; he could
run very WELL But he couldn't SWIM"
Washington Star.
"a number of her old flames have
combined to present her father with
fire badge" "Why?" because Of
the speed and completeness in which
he put them all out"-Judge.
Frililla-"Was your dinner a social
successT Clorinda-"Yes, indeed
You see, I was careful to invite only
people who have the same kind Of ner.
vous ration"-Brooklyn Life.
"Where did your daughter and her
husband spend their honeymoon. Mr..
GoldbugY "Blest II l know. l can't
even find out where they spent all the
money they did" -Washington Times.
HE had three days Of grace left in
which to pay the note, and he moved
at once to the Arctic regions. l Won
der why?" "Well, you know the days
there are six months long."-Town
Topics.
exclaimed the boy who was under;
lets arbitrate this thing There
amt nothin' to arbitrate." painted the
boy on top, pummeling him vigorous.
ly.-Chicago Tribune.
Ready for Easter: Deacon Cobbs-
civilian, II your father should have
$40 and some one should give him S.,
what would he have?" William
Nothing. But ma would have a new
hat."-Chicago News.
She-"The milliner told me that she
had been down to the dentists to have
| Ii lot all
prices she asks for hats. should say
the dentist must have killed the wrong
one."-Yonkers Statesman.
"Oh, let me like soldier diew ex.
claimed the leading man of the barn.
stormers. "Oh, If only had a gunw
exclaimed some one in the gallery, in
tone that savored of genuine sym.
pathy.-Chicago Daily News.
ITO what do you attribute the prop
critics of your springs?" asked visitor
at health resort. We'll" answered
the proprietor, thoughtfully. Il guess
the advertising I've done has had
something to do with it."-Puck.
Automobile perils: Yes. our Black
Spook, was demolished by running
into a barn" Then l suppose you
had to walk" mo. we had to run.
The farmer came after us with pitch.
fork and bulldog"-Philadelp
Record.
Overwhelming evidence: Judge
you deny persistently that you COM
mitted the act, and yet the description
fits you eNactly-a beautiful face,
youthful appearance, pretty little foot"
Woman defendant-"Judge | confess
all. "-Tit-Bits.
New phase of it: "Yander goes
another specimen er de race problemw
exclaimed Brother Dockey. "Where"
Right vanderbilt man behind der
Niger Is de sheriff en- de niger is
leadn' him by one hundred yardsv
Atlanta Constitution.
$50 you are not going to Europe
again?" Not for a long time" an
swered Mrs. Somrox. at is our in
tention to live in America, thereby
calling attention to the fact that we
can afford to pay the highest prices
for everything "-Washington Star.
Mrs. Hiram Offen-'That will do!
You'll leave Oh Saturday. and you
needn't bother me about recommen.
dation." Brdget-"Shure, OF how no
int!ntion Of givin' We recOmminda.
ton. Oi'll tell the truth about We to
livery CURL that axes me."-Philadel.
phia Press.
THAT first wife Of mine never could
take joke" But she took you once"
Don't get personal. When she got
her divorce from Beimooilt last week
| sent her a message wishing her many
happy returns of the day, and now
she refuses to even nod when we
meet."-Chicago Record-IIerald
Dealer-"These are the most beauti-
full cutglass tumblers we have; $4S
Dozen" Mrs. Housekeep-'I'll take
them, but l want you to label them
Seconds. Imitation cutglass, $1.5O a
dozen" Dealer-"That's rather re-
markable request" Mrs. Housekeep-