New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-11-16
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


The HawkinsviIe (Ky) Republican" relates that
William Bird and cousin. Amos Bird. spending
the week with Mr.. and Mrs. John Bird having
come that town attend the wedding OF Miss
Flosse Bird TO Lyman Parrot. of Sparrow's Point.
Md
A Cinch for the wife.-The union mans overcoat
AS he took it down preparatory to starting to an
indignation meeting he noted that the top button
Turning to his wife. he exclaimed:
have my clothes looked after when they need re-
do you not know" replied his wife calmly
v6n cod yog to % gni1n and get
backsted and boycotted and the other TIMES for
urging me. a non union workman. to do the work
the tailors' union?"
Seeing his error. the man swiftly begged his
wife's pardon and hurried away.-(Baitimore Amer
lean.
James Wilson. the Secretary Of Agriculture. has
wit OF a dry Sort which makes him one Of the
most popular Cabinet members
Shortly after he assumed charge Of his important
department. Mr.. Wilson made some changes in his
office. Senators and Congressman came to protest.
but all to avail because Secretary felt that
what he was doing was in the interest of the pub
lie service. Finally of the employees whose
transfer had been oriered called upon the Secre-
tary. He said:
'Mr Secretary, I am afraid that II YOU dispense
with any Of cur men. It will impair the
efficiency Of this department 1 considered IL my
duty to say this to you and to get your views"
For answer the Secretary looked up at the ceiling
and said:
There farmer In Iowa who had
three fat cats. His barn overrun with mice.
One day he gave the three fat cats away and got
one new cat-not so fat He troubled
with mice after that."-(Phiadephfa Press.
REDUCTIo AID ABsURDUM
G19n ss5a . q: . Of s oT
proposition that union had the right perform
mend hts torn clothing instead Of sending II to taller
He drew the blinds at the windows tight
So that no gmmer OF teiltale light
He sp plugged sse the keyhoIe in the door
And then tiptoed across the floor
Ae e b1 a9ok n EMS To drive up O ns
And An ' be knew s eoRcesment MT had no avail 's
For a knocking came
The rap OF the walking delegated
He took his razor from of the, shelf,
he w9pd ssgs Moments bs seaT as S ws as pe
But list! He scarce had wet the soap
MSen Wse4 eefaa ali his hope
His palsied hand left the frothins brush
And brought 70 @ Blush
You You'll be fined for this
The cali OF the walking delegate.
His His wife asserted the time was ripe
The p Pe s; 5a6s =, be had g WIPE
1t made him mad and made him blue.
The marked s it's Stripe and neck
He fell a cursing and writing wreck!
'"TherelI be trouble here
The jeer Of the walking delegated
He pins his trousers with shingfe nails.
His coat is open to all the gales
! At missing buttons he often walls.
His wife however. sits and smiles
And views the swiftly growing piles
81 a xS gSTmsntS ina, and 6ssge;
IF should ever attempt to darn
You know fun well
We would agitate
The wrath OF the walking deegate."
-(Chicago Tribune.
A reader for publishing house m this city saw,
that he nearly allowed to pass him chapter In a
/ novel In which the author made an orthodox Pros
| byterian minister take his text for a sermon
| Cleanliness is next 10 godness" which phrase
in that form was quoted by John Wesley IN p
sermon Another much quoted sentiment. gener-
ally thought to be in the Bible is God ternpers
/ the wind TO the shorn lamb" which appears I'm
Sterne's Sentimental Journey" In the midst O.
| life In death nearly every ore thinks Is
In the Bible. 1t isn't but Is in the burial service
That he who runs may read is supposed wrong
| ly to be Biblical 1t is not Biblical. though the
Bible has something like II. namely. That he
/ may run that readeth tt Prone 10 sin as the
sparks fly upward" Is not in the Bible but this is
| In Job: MAN is born unto trouble as the sparks
| fly upward"
Satisfactory Division.-The old farmer and his
wife, had agreed to separate rhey Rad only one
o Everything friendly" inquired a neighbor
"Oh, yes" replied the old man, carelessly.
| 'No trouble about making fair division OF the
properly" 81. ,,. IN. kid an the canned fruit
an / git the pig an the apples. That's even
enough. amt it?'-(Town and Country