davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
BRIGHT BITS.

-Belle-"How did Percy come to lose
his money!" Helen-"Oh. he simply
had Judge.
Mr. Reed--"Which do you prefer,
Dickens or Thackeray?" Miss Green
"I really couldn't say; 1 never met
either of the gentlemen. "-Philadelp
Evening Bulletin.
Mrs. Newliwed-'I don't see why
you ask 20 cents a quarter peck for
your string beans. The other man
onlv asked IS" Huckster-"Well,
ma'am, yer see, these beans of mine
are all hand picked. Philadelphia
Press.
Have they changed much since
they inherited all that money! yes,
indeed, Why, they have three names
hyphenated now, and they've changed
the spelling of their daughters name
from Mamie to Mayme. Chicago
Evening Post.
-"HookIne is positively the most
credulous man I ever knew" Have
you been proving it recently?" Eyes;
told him one of his own fish stories a
few weeks after he'd told it to me and
he believed it!"-Cincinnati CONNER
cial Tribune.
u believe that policeman is leading
an upright life ITS encouraging to
think there are such men on the force
Yes He sleeps so much on his feet
that it doesn't seem as if he could
possibly want to ever lie down to rests
Chicago Record Herald.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
GOVERNING AUTOMOBILES.

Pending in the Georgia Legislature is
bill designed to govern the operation
of automobiles on the streets and coun-
try roads. The bill provides a speed
limit which it is proposed shall not be
exceeded in town or country. 1t may
be possible to enforce a speed law In
the cities. where policemen are con-
stantly on duty, but how is such law
to be enforced in the country? The
states suburban constabulary is linn
tied An automobilist might run fifty
trips into the country, without encoun-
tering a constable; and If a constable
should be met, the chances are about
SO to l that he could not tell whether
the machine was travelling at the rate
of fifteen miles an hour or twenty-five
There are not many country constables
that carry stop watches with them, and
as few who are capable of judging
speed faster than a man walking or
horse trotting. Speed, especially of
horseless vehicle, is deceptive. OF
dozen men watching an automobile
passing, probably not two of them
would agree as to it's speed, in the alb
sence of time taken by the watch.
New York New Jersey, Massachu-
setts, Pennsylvania and Connecticut
have more automobiles than any other
states OF the union, and each of them
has found that the mere enactment of
a law limiting speed on country roads
will not suffice. They have, therefore,
passed additional laws, requiring that
all motor vehicles must be licensed at
so much per year, and that the license
must be carried in the vehicle at all
times. Dealers may obtain licenses
covering all the vehicles in their stock.
Chauffeurs are required to be licensed
and registered the same as owners.
Auto-vehicles are required to stop, if
necessary, upon approaching horse
! drawn vehicles. Each vehicle must be
provided with safety and warning de-
vices. Penalties for the violation of the
laws governing the roads are fines.
suspension of license, and revocation
of license The operation of an auto
| vehicle during suspension or revocation
of license is punishable by heavy fine.
The ordinary license fee is 50. In New
| York nearly $500 licenses have been is
sued New Jersey has issued about
1000 licenses. The revenues from this
source make neat little item.
! Under the license system it is be-
| leved that automobile drivers will ex-
ercise more care than they would other
wise. With licenses required for all
operators of such vehicles, there would
be fewer irresponsible and careless per
| sons handling the levers and dashing
recklessly about the streets and roads,
to the CONSERVATION of horses and pc
| destrians.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
Morse's Parable.

The late Henry c. Morse, president
of the New York Shipbuilding Compa-
ny, relates the Kansas City Journal,
was one day visited by a man of ques-
tionable repute, who wished to borrow
money, wherewith to launch a ques-
tionable enterprise Mr.. Morse gave
some polite excuse for his unwilling
ness to lend. and the man declared that
he regarded this excuse as somewhat
fishy. Thereupon, smiling grimly, Mr.
Morse said:
Let me tell you a little story. Once
upon time an Arab went to his
neighbor and said:
Lend me your rope
L can't said the neighbor.
Why can't you?'
Because 1 want to use the rope
myself
What do you want to do with it?'
the borrower persisted.
I want to tie up about five cubic
feet of water with it,, was the reply.
How on EARTH the other sneered,
can you tie up water with a rope?
My friend said the neighbor, AL
lab is great, and he permits US to do
strange things with a rope when we
don't want to lend it, >"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
HAS CARDINAL GIBBONS A CHANCE,

HAS CARDINAL GIBBONS A CHANCEf
There Is a vast amount OF speculation
as to the cardinal who will be the next
Pope for the reason that there is
nothing definite known as to the views
of the cardinals in regard to the mat
ter. In a Rome dispatch to the New
York World an effort is made to show
that Cardinal Gibbons has a chance
of being elected. In about all of the
Rome dispatches in other newspapers
the opinion is expressed that he has
no chance whatever of becoming Pope.
The point made against him is that he
is a foreigner. and that the Italian
cardinals will not permit the election
of a foreigner.
In all there are siXty-fOur cardinals,
and Of these twenty-five are foreign.
OF the foreigners seven are French,
five Spanish, three Austrians, five Ger
mans, two British, one Belgian, one
Portuguese and one American. 1t
seems unfair that America should have
but one representative in the sacred
college, in view of the fact that the
portion Of the Catholic Church under
the Jurisdiction of the American cardi-
nal is perhaps the most important
from the view point of wealth and the
number of members.
Those who are holding to the opin-
ion that Cardinal Gibbons has chance
Of becoming Pope take into consid-
GRAFTON the alleged fact that the Ital-
tan cardinals are divided into two fac
tions, and that there is but little hope
that they can ever harmonic their
differences. That being the case it is
commended that the foreign cardinals
may unite with one of these factions
and elect Cardinal Gibbons.
The indications seem to point to
long struggle in the conclave. The adj
vices are that the chances of the
prominent candidates-that is, the can
didates who are admitted to have sup
pOrt--are pretty nearly even. 1t is on
this undertaking of the situation that
a long struggle is predicted. The con-
clave in 1873, when Leo was elected
lasted only three days.
The thought has been thrown out
that it would be a good thing for the
church to elect Cardinal Gibbons. His
administration would have the pro-
gressiveness that characterizes the
Western world If he should be elect
ed, however, it would be an instance
of the unexpected happening.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23

Now, see here" said the man who
called himself particular" and whom
the outside world called "fussy,' to the
restaurant waiter. 81 want you to pay
attention. and serve things exactly as
l say, or 1 sha'n't pay for them"
Yes, sir" said the waiter, head
bent forward, face devoid of any sort
of expression, says the Youths Com
paniOn.
Il want toast, we'll toasted but not
burned, buttered while it's hot, set in
the oven for one minute then served"
Yes, sir. Well done, not burned,
buttered hot. set in oven one minute,
serve"
And coffee, strong, clear hot, but
not scalding"
yes, sir. Black, hot, no scald."
And steak-sirloin, thick, but not
too thick, well done, but not over
done"
Yes. sir. Medium sirloin, medium
broil."
and two eggs, new laid eggs, fried
on one side onlv."
yes, sir. Two, fresh fried, on-on
which side, sir?"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
PLATT'S CANDIDATE FOR VICE
PRESIDENT.

Nothing of a political nature that
Senator Platt of New York has said
recently has called forth so much com
ment as his suggestion of Senator
Nelson w. Aldrich of Rhode Island
for Vice President on the ticket with
Mr.. Roosevelt. 1t is doubtful if he
could have named a man for whom the
public has less admiration--that is, a
man in public life. OF Senator Aid
rich's ability there isn't any doubt. He
is the leader of the Senate, and the
Republican senators acknowledge his
leadership. He isn't an orator. He
is man of affairs, but there isn't
keener intellect to be found in either
branch of Congress than his.
But there are something's that are
against him. 1t is the understanding
that he has manipulated politics in
Rhode Island so that he now practi-
cally owns the state. He does with it
pretty much as he pleases. 1t is a lit
tie state of course, but ii contains a
great deal Of wealth. We do not mean
so say that Senator Aldrich used i'm
PiOPNi AbCNHOQS 10 dC4ulIG lne uOILl-
mating position he has in his state,
but it is a notorious fact that there
is much rotton politics in Rhode Is
land. In some recent publications re-
garding Rhode Island politics, it was
stated that the influence of money was
very potent in the little state.
And then Senator Aldrich and Mr..
Rockefeller have some interests in
common. Mr.. Rockefener's son mar
red the Senator's daughter. If
Senator Aldrich were to go on the
ticket with Mr.. Roosevelt ii would at
once be said that Mr.. Rockefeller hav-
ing captured many of the Industries
and railroads was now trying to cap
ture the government. Probably Sena-
tor Platt, who. 1t is believed, has no
love for President Roosevelt, is seek
Ing to handicap the President by put
ting an unpopular man on the ticket
with him-a man who is believed to be
n representative of what Mr. Bryan
calls the money power and the monop-
olies
Senator Aldrich introduced cur
rency bill into the Senate at the last
session of Congress for the relief of the
financial situation. 1t was attacked
on several grounds, one of which was
that it was a suggestion of Mr.. Rookie
TELLER. 1t provided, among other things,
that other securities than government
bonds should be accepted from national
banks as security for government de-
posits. 1t was insinuated that Mr..
Rockefeller had a large amount of
securities other than government bonds
which he desired to get better 4n-
come from through the agency of the
Aldrich bill.
Except with tne extreme high pro-
tectionists the nomination of Senator
Aldrich for Vice President wouldn't
be at all popular. 1t may be that Sem
ator Platt wasn't serious in making
the suggestion, but the suggestion has
been treated seriously.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
PERSONAL.

The Khedive, whose tour in Eu-
still on the sunny side of 30. He was
educated in Vienna, has a charming
personality and his intelligence is al
together of a higher sort than that of
his father, the Khedive Tewfik. He
has but one wife. and is understood to
be devoted to her and to their chill
dren-four little daughters and a son
and heir just 4 years old.
Chain Tin Sin of San Francisco,
who returned to China with his fam
lily, was one of San Francisco's in
teresting characters. He landed be-
fore the days of the exclusion act,
big raw boned cody He leaves now
with his white wife and half caste
boy, with $1,000,000 in American gold
and securities He has been a miner,
cook, gambler and merchant, and was
successful in everything he under
took.
DIR. John T. Crippen of Waterloo,
Iowa. a pioneer in the Methodist
Church, will this month celebrate the
flftieth anniversary of his entrance
into the ministry. In forty-five years
he missed but one Sunday, that be-
ing on account of illness, and in the
entire half century he has missed but
four, three of them coming in sue
cession. He has dedicated ninety-two
churches DR.. Crippen always looks
at the bright side of things. During
the illness which kept him away from
church four weeks his physicians had
given up hope of his recovery, but he
had not His wife in all seriousness
asked what songs he wished sung at
bis f1rreraI aud~11a said had no
choice they might sing when John
ME Goes Marching Home" and DR..
Crippen's recovery dated from that
moment
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
THE CONVICT LEASE QUESTION.

It is evident from the action Of The
House yesterday on the Fielder bill
that it is the purpose of the Legisla-
ture to adhere to the present lease
system. at least for another term of
five years. AS we said a few days ago
there is no doubt a strong and growing
sentiment in favor of good roads, but it
isn't strong enough yet to induce the
Legislature to make an effort to get
along without the revenue that comes
from leasing the convicts. We have
no doubt that if it were certain that
the states income was sufficient to
meet the demands upon it without the
assistance of the convict lease money
there would be no hesitation in adopt
ing a convict system that would put
the convicts at work upon the pub
lie roads.
The impression prevails that the
convicts have been leased at too low
a price; that the Iessees have made a
great deal more out of their contract
than they paid the state That idea
was thrown out by Representative
Shackelford in some remarks which he
made on the convict question on Tues
day
There is no doubt that IL the state is
TO realize from a new contract what
it ought to the amount will be much
larger than it is getting from the pres
ent contract. If we are not mistaken
the convicts in Florida are awarded to
the highest bidder the responsibility
of the bidders of course being taken
into account. In that state the income
from the convicts is very much larger,
in proportion to their number than it
is in this.
The lease system is not a satisfactory
one and it is a safe statement that the
sentiment of the people is against it.
They prefer that if the convicts are not
Kept within prison walls they be en-
ployed on public works. When they
are hired out, no matter how careful
the state may be to protect them, there
is certain to be some abuse of them.
The tendency of those who contract for
their labor is to get all the work out
of them that is possible
The question as to the best way to
deal with convicts is a troublesome
one. 1t is a question in regard to
which there is a wide difference Of
opinion among those who have given
it careful consideration. In order to
effect a change in the system in this
state there WILL in all probability, have
TO be a much more general discussion
of ii than there has ever yet been.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
INDEX 10 REV ADVERTISEMENTS

Special Notices-Gerntan Aid and
Benevolent Seciety's Picnic at Tybee
To-day: Ship Notices, Strachan &
Co. Agents; Notice to City Court
Jurors; Fishing Tackle, Cornwell &
Chapman; Notice to Superior Court
Jurors.
Business Notires-Attention Golf
Clubs, Henry Solomon & Son; Fine
Georgia Syrup. A. NJ. & c. w. West;
When You Want a Good Cigar, Solo
mons Co
This Desirable Residence for Sale
Chatham Real Estate & Improvement
CO.
This Newspaper is Requested to An
nounce-Byck BIOS.
Ball Tonight and a Perfectly SUI
perb Bathing Tide-South End Hotel.
Save the Cents VIM. & H. H. Lat
timore.
A Veritable Medicine Chest-At Row
linski's.
Well Laundered Collar-The Sa-
vannah Steam Laundry.
Fruit Syrups-The Delmonico Co.
The Michigan Automobiles-C. B.
Westcott.
Foods-Graps Nuts.
Beer-Schlitz Brewing Co.
Silverware-The Gorham Co.
Legal Notices-In the Matter of w.
T. Peek of Wayne, Bankrupt.
Medical-Mulls Grape Tonic; Peru
ma.
Cheap Column Advertisernents-Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For
Rent: For Sale; Lost; Personal; Mis-
cellaneous.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
The Millionaire Pays.

The millionaire pays, says the New
York Sun. Wherever he is known he
must give rather more than full value
for what he gets. Wherever there is
a colony of millionaires in a commun-
ity of ordinary mortals there are al
ways two prices for commodities, one
for ordinary residents and a higher one
for the millionaires.
When an officer of a great corpora
ton died not long ago in rural viii
lage of New York many of has fellows
in the corporation went to the funeral
One of them went to the local bar
Der on the morning of the funeral to
get shaved.
The task done, the customer laid
down quarter The barber eyed the
coin and placed it on a shelf while
he handed the customer his hat There
was no demand for change, and the
barber congratulated himself upon
having made 10 cents beyond his usual
fee.
While he was yet rejoicing a local
acquaintance said to him:
John, do you know who that is ?"
mo" said the barber zone of those
fellows that have come to the funeral,
1 guess
WELL" said the other man, ut was
John D. Rockefeller"
''What?" said the barber, ruefully
balancing Mr.. Rockefeller's coin, land
l only got a quarter out of him?''
Yachtsmen at Newport pay high for
everything they get in the way of
supplies from local dealers. A yachts
man, aware of this fact, went ashore
one day in old trousers and a blue jer-
sey, and asked at a shop for a turn
buckle. He got it, and when he asked
the price was told $275.
what do you take me FORE" asked
the yachtsman Indignantly. I'm not
going to pay any such price for a thing
like that"
why, thought you came from one
O. them yachts" answered the dealer.
We'll" was the reply. Il came from
a fishing boat, and l know the price of
a turn buckle"
""Is that so?" said the dealer coolly.
Then I guess IS cents will be enough
for you, and the yachtsman got his
turn buckle for IS cents.
Visitors to the st. Regis lakes in the
Adirondacks have heard of the farm
and gardens maintained by Arson
Phelps Stokes and there is a legend to
account for the trouble and expenses
to which Mr.. Stokes has gone to de-
velop and keep UP this farm.
According to the story, when the
Stokes camp was short of bread once
d Suiue was sent 10 Il nelgnDOrlng no.
tel to buy what was needed. When the
bill for the bread came in it was
found that the charge was 80 cents
loaf.
Mr.. Stokes, being several times a
millionaire was used to paying high
prices for supplies wherever he Went
but he had never before paid sucb
a price for bread He paid without
protest. but it is said he vowed maj
he would buy no more supplies of anv
kind at the place whence his costly
bread had come, and hence the farm
and gardens.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23

The Kings visit to ireland was ad-
mirably timed. On the day of his ar
rival the House of Commons passed
the Land Bill by vote Of S17 to 20.
The bill is admitted to be the best
measure for Ireland that has appeared
in Parliament for many a day, fact
that is beginning to be understood and
appreciated by the Irish people. The
adoption of the bill simultaneously
with the arrival of Edward on Irish
soil cannot have other effect than the
inducing of a more kindly feeling for
him and his government, except on the
part of irreconcilables who are holding
out for the impossible.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
Another Name for It.

And now" said the inquisitive per-
son who had been asking all sorts of
impertinent questions of the raw-boned
mountaineer, who sat at his cabin door
smoking a corncob pipe, according 10
the Baltimore American, now will
explain to you why I have been so in
quisitive. I am a sociological investi-
gator, and 1 am doing this in the IN
terest of science and humanity"
"Haow things do change" remarked
the mountaineer as he leisurely
stretched himself. Whenst I were Il
boy we called your kind O. people dern
sno0p-nosed meddlers."
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
Annual Annual

The bare publication of the list makes
it plain that the custom houses named
ought to be abolished, since they are
not self-supporting. This could be
done without the least injury to the
service. as has been pointed out sew
eral times in the annual reports of
the Auditor of the Treasury. Since the
offices are not needed, and are dead
expense to the government, why are
they maintained? The answer is con-
tanned in one word-politics. Each Of
fee affords so much patronage. In
each, one or more of the henchmen
and favorites Of politicians can be
slowed away. at government expense.
1t is not the policy Of Congress to re-
duce the patronage, but rather to in
crease it. Dash the expense. let us
have the Offices" is the motto of spoils-
men.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23

In babyhood his mother called him
"a Kitten" the neighbors, "a little
monkey" says Town Topics.
When at college he was commonly
dubbed "a calf" the girls sometimes
termed him "a puppy"
After he left college he became, ac-
cording to his friends, "a gay dog"
according to his enemies, "a beast"
In business he was referred to as
"a sly fox" though his competitors
labeled him "a WOLF
In Wall street he was "a bull'-
sometimes "a bear"
In his love affairs he was "a perfect
tiger" some said, however, "a perfect
Donkey"
In society he was described as "a
lion;" varied occasionally by IAN asst
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
TIVE MORNING NEWS is nnhlished

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THE MORNING NEWS, by mail, six
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THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week (Nonday and Thursday, by mail,
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Subscriptions payable in advance
Remit by money order. check or reg
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Transient advertisements, other than
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No advertisement accepted for less than
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Contract rates and discounts made
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orders for delivery of the Morning
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ported.
Letters and kilograms should be adj
dressed "MoRNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ca.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City. H. c. Faulkner, Man
ager.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23

The comments in the newspapers on
Mr.. Bryan's attack on Mr.. Cleveland
in his speech in Chicago last Saturday
are not complimentary to him. The at
tack may have pleased certain of Mr..
Bryan's Western friends, but the opin-
ion seems to be-the opinion that finds
expression in the newspapers-that a
few more such attacks on Mr.. Cleye-
land from the same source will make
him the dominant force in the Demo-
cratic party. There is no doubt that
Mr.. Cleveland is gaining in popularity
all the time. He isn't saying anything
that isn't complimentary to Mr.. Bryan,
and in that respect he is showing good
judgment. 1t is probable that he hopes
that Mr.. Bryan will continue to attack
him. Mr.. Bryan may be the better
orator, but Mr. Cleveland is far and
away the better politician.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-23
Putting Him Wise.

There is something peculiar about
the mental makeup of a woman, "
said Foggs. according to the Chicago
News.
Does any explanation go with that
remark?" asked his better half
Sure thing" answered the party
of the prelude. Now, there's Mrs.
Peckem, for example. She's utterly
unable to handle the most gentle
horse, yet she drives her husband
arount with ease
oh that doesn't prove anything, a"
remarked Mrs. F. 1.-THE horse, you
know, is a very intelligent animal"