The Washington times., 1903-08-02

| and If not sufficiently spicy add a revo-
luton or two or Indian massacre to
taste. Then half bake and serve anony-
mOusly."
But" she objected. that isn't your
style"
! cob, no. said the author, throwing
away his cigar. But then, I'm not poDu-
/ lar"
Suddenly she made one of her light
ming transitions.
Il hate editors" she said, setting her
little white teeth vIndictiveiy.
so do 1 If they have been standing
between you and a defrauded public
Not that l ever saw one," went on
the Fair Philosopher, ignoring this re-
mark. for they are as inaccessible as
the Gear Of Russia. One would think
person meditated presenting them
with dynamite instead of harmless pa
per and INK An author has to pass in
Vulnerable sentries of Office BOYS. and
clerks, and then is permitted to gaze
through hole in the wall at the edi
tors closed door. And the hole in the
wall, she added, lis so small he could
not even get his head through IL he
Had q football haircut?"
Wore Gainsborough hat" (severe-
ly).
(She affects Gai1sborough hats herself.
the artful mink, because she knows she's
perfectly irresistible in them.)
(which no ne would be likely TO do"
the Author reminded her.
We'll, I'm not speaking generally, of
course. And. by the way, what mis-
take that IS"
THAT men don't wear Gainsborousb
hats?"
No. That the English language
doesn't possess a common gender per
sonal pronoun. However" she added.
even that is better than sending It by
mail"
The Author mentally turned a double
somersault in a vain endeavor to follow
her, but after putting his brain through
series Of mental gymnastics, during
which he sent Gainsborough hat by
mail. rejected that. tried to fit a per-
sonal pronoun into the gap and still
found himself several subjects in ar
rears.
Would you mind elucidating?" he
asked hopelessly. I'm afraid 1 don't
quite follow you. What is better than
which,"
The Fair Philosopher looked at him
compassionately.
It's better TO poke your manuscript
through a hole in the wall at an un-
seen oracle than TO send 1t by mail.
she answered, speaking distinctly and
carefully, as one speaks to the weak
minded or the very young. Presently
she continued:
The editors are so very prompt about
returning ones efforts. II there were any
possible. way OF telegraphing them
think they would do it-they are so very
anxious TO get rid OF them. l have &C
tually reached the point where I'm
grateful If they keep mine over night
But to return 10 the hole in the
wall" said the Author. The editors
must protect themselves, you know.
Suppose they were accessible at any
time 10 sirens in Gainsborough hats
why, the sirens could simply walk N
and sell them anything at any price. /
The editors would be at their mercy.
They must be very weak minded if |
that's why they have to hedge them /
selves in So shifted the Fair Philoso- |
pher. But" she added, after a pause, /
II could forgive them everything else If |
they only wouldn't put the not neces-
sarily Implying lack of merit slip in, /
If one could only say. Please omit com
ment,' as they say Please omit flowers
in funeral notices."
When the Fair Philosopher spoke /
again it was in plaintive voice.
1T isn't as though l wanted money. I |
don't. I only want fame" she said. mod
estly. Just to have the name OF an au-
thor. you know
ooh. If that's all you want you can
have it, responded the Author, prompt
ly.
What? Fame?"
no; the name of an author"
''BOw?" eagerly.
well, one way Is by marriage"
The Fair Philosopher tossed her head
contemptuously.
DO you suppose I would care a rap
Tor that, 70 be an author by marriage.
IN author-in-law, so 10 speak? Besides. -
she added. Unexpectedly, after a rapid /.
on her fingers, II couldn't,
anyway"