The Lamar register., 1903-12-23
Revenge of Santa


forehead in box plaits and never went
out in the street without silk hat and
a gold-headed cane. You could tell he
was good by the fact that his Adams s
apple projected SO far out over his
white lawn necktie. Not all good peo-
pie have projecting Adams apples, but
all people with that peculiar anatomi-
cal development are good people.
He had a mission in life. 1t was to
speak the truth always and under all
circumstances and to run down auu
utterly destroy everything which sa-
vored of a lie. He was, as it were, a
moral specialist. He became spe-
cialist because in that way you have
less competition, and in his particular
line the competition was small, indeed,
says the Chicago Tribune.
AS a boy in knee pants he was SO
much afraid of telling lie that ne
rarely could be induced to make posi-
tive statement.
Mamma" he would gasp, rushing
into the house with his face purple.
mamma, mebbe I've swallowed
bug"
A subsequent surgical operation
swarm of gnats in his trachea, and his
conscience and his breathing apparatus
would both be relieved.
In early manhood he got on the trail
of Historical error" and when he got
through with it there was nothing left
of history but few dates. George
Washington's cherry tree was torn up
by the roots; William Tells apple was
rotting in limbo; John Smiths Poca-
hontas had no more vitality~ieft thar
cigar store Indian.
At last he fell afoul of Santa Claus.
The enormity of teaching little chill
dren to believe in a non-existent orea-
ton of the imagination almost froze
his blood-whicn, owing to its compo-
sition. froZe much easier than other
peoples. He got up in public place.
and-talking as loud as he could-de-
clared that parents who taught their
little ones to put their faith in Santa
Claus were dreadful sinners. and that
children who were allowed to cherish
such lie would certainly lead careers
of vice and crime.
He went home thai night-it was the
night before Christmas-with glow
in what his physician had assured him
was his heart. He hung up his trusty
hammer on its nail by his bedside so
that he could reach out and get it if
anything that needed knocking oc-
CURED to him during the night.
We'll" he said, "old pal, we have
nailed another lie"
Then he went to sleep, and presently
he began to dream. First of all. ne
dreamed that he heard the sound o!
RENDERS hoofs outside his window.
Even in his dreams he was indignant
at himself for even dreaming such
lie. But the sounds went on. Pres
ently-in his dreams. of course-the
window was gently raised, and a stoop-
shouldered old man with long white
beard crept into the room. TITS lie
it's all a lie." his conscience said to MIN.
but in his dreams he plainly saw sSe
figure. He suffered terribly to think
that he should be SO brought to con-
fusion.
All about his room the figure crept
with soft and stealthy steps. Try as he
would. he could not keep himself from
believing-in his dreams-that it was
a real figure and that it was patterlng
softly about Presently it seemed 10
go over to the chair on which he had
carefully arranged his clothes. Then
still, of course, in his dreams-the
figure vanished again through the open
window. AS it did so. he seemed to
see on its bowed shoulder great
pack, and, as it looked around tor a
last glance back into the room. he
seemed to see a glad and happy smile
playing over its face.
Finally he awoke with start. It
was icy cold in the room. Outdoors II
was beginning to grow light, and he
thought with proud satisfaction that,
because of what he had said and done,
not so many children as usual wcdld
be climbing out of their beds to see
what that ridiculous Santa Claus had
brought them. Suddenly he felt an
awful crick in his neck. He reached
out of bed for his slippers. They were
missing. Painfully he got up and
struck a match. Immediately he no
ticed that the window was open. His
heart sank. Was it possible, after all?
Was he to be confounded and made a
fool of? Instinctively and though he
fought against it, he looked over at
the chair on the top of which he Lad
hung his socks. He half expected TO
see a candy cane sticking out of each
one of them.
DIT ba didn't He didn't oyop .oa