davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
A Great Waste.

Noozey-So it seems that Cardinal Sar-
to was the lucky one at Rome
Kloseman-Lucky? HUH l guess you
don't read the papers.
Noozey-I read them enough to discover
that he was elected pope.
Kloseman-Yes, but the papers also gay
that he bought return ticket when he
PHILADELPHIA Press
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19

John Alexander Dowie is going to
convert North Dakota But inasmuch
as he isn't going to. start in until he
has reformed New York, it will not be
necessary for the Dakotans to hide
themselves in the cyclone cellar for
while yet.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
Not Hindranees

Don't you sometimes find that YOU are
hindered in your art by people who insist
on your working for mere money!
NO" answered Mr.. Van DabbIes: "the
scarcity of such people is what is causing
me considerable Inconvenience at present !"
Washington Star
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
The peflcIency Is sunnlied.

''In the bright lexicon of YOUTH" quotes
the visitor, there is no such word as
fall I'll
Maybe not" answered the father. gaz-
ing abstractedIy at his two sons, who have
come home from college to live with
him; maybe not, but guess there's plen-
ty of synonyms Judge.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19

The Walter Jones Opera company.
IN The Sleepy King" will play a brief
engagement of three nights and mat
1nee, beginning next Thursday. This
nuslcal comedy opened in Duluth
Thursday night The company in
cludes Walter Jones, George K. Hen
cry and Edd Redway, formerly of the
"Chaperons." Seats for this engage
ment will be on sale next Monday
morning.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19

Statistics show that, up to date, the
Turks have killed off the entire popu-
lation of Bulgaria twice and the. Mace
domains are practically all dead for the
fourth time
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
Notr5Yet Paid.

They're saying you're just like all
the other members of the house." re-
marked the newly elected legislators s
closest friend. They say you have your
price"
That's lie," declared the new mem
ber.
at thought so''
Eyes, 1 haven't got IT yet, but 1 have
hopes. = Philadelphia Standard and
Times
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
PossibIe ExpIanation.

It's a peculiar fact, remarked the OBJ
serving youth, that only one woman in
a thousand can whistle''
Nothing peculiar about that" remarked
the man with the absent air '.As long as
woman can talk she doesn't care to
whistle. Chicago News.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
Heavier Than the White Mans Burden

When the kaiser talked at CasseI
about the "depressipg weight he has
to carry who is responsible for 58,000,-
600 Germans the mere white. mans
burden" of Mr.. Kiplfng fell into insig-
nificance.-NeW York World.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19

Some people are predicting that John
D. Rockefeller will Swallow all the
railroads, in this country" That's a
nice prospect for man with dyspep'
sia-Racine News.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
kina Pete Not Assassinated.

LONDON, Sept 18.-A direct dis
patch received from Belgrade says:
The report of the assassination of
King Peter is entirely unfounded."
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19

The Right Hon. Joseph Chamberlain
will now screw his monocle firmly in
his eye and make mad dash for the
premiership.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
What the Editors Say

The Ortonville Herald Star tells the
following story:
E. H. Peavey and T. c. Jordan, of
Minneapolis, hunted chickens here a
couple of days last week. Mr.. Peavey
is of the Pv elevator family and seems
TO have more money than sense, as the
Granite Falls Tribune tells how he
stopped at the place en- route to Orton-
vile, and seeking likely looking dog
in the possession of Charlie McGregor,
opened negotiations for its purchase.
McGregor 'saveyed" the situation and
asked $500 for the purp, but finally
compromised on $500, which the young
scion of the house of Peavey paid,
without so much as trying the dog. On
arriving here the high priced canine
was taken out for a trial, but was
somewhat hurriedly brought back to
town and tied up. Mr.. Pv. then gave
Nick Fink $25 to be personally con-
Quoted about the fields by Nick's two
pointers. The young man had fair sue
cess and went home happy.
VI course, Peavey was a soft mark,
but what class does McGregor trot in?
saltwater Daily Gazette
p 1t seems too bad to be obliged to ex-
plain and publish diagrams of Pioneer
Press jokes Yet they do need it. So
We hasten to explain to the Philadel-
,phia and New York and Chicago pa
pers, not to include several nearer
home, that that column editorial about
Eddy being too homely to occupy the
governors chair was merely a sample
of the elephantine humor which is
known as the Pioneer Press brand.
The fact was, the Pioneer Press had to
say something editorially about Mr..
Eddy's candidacy, and really had no
choice between him and Van SAINT. So
1t published column joke.-Whee-
locks Fergus Falls Weekly.
Congressman Buckman and Steener-
son have been in Washington during
the past week, Illustrating their bril-
liant craftsmanship in a measly scrap
to decide whether a two by four land
office should be located at Cass Lake
or Bemidji If the scrap would only
terminate like the historic fight of the
Kilkenny cats, large number of their
constituents would feel extremely
grateful-Perham Enterprise.
Frank M. Eddy is very seriously
handicapped. The st. Paul Dispatch
is regarded as his political organ.-Ap-
pleton Press.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
Can Raise a Discord, Anyway.

By feeling "fit as fiddle" perhaps
Consul Magelssen deems himself eli
gible to take part in the concert of the
powers.-Kansas City Star.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
That Would Suit Exactly.

Secretary Shaw has the right idea.
What we want is an elastic currency
that will expand automatically with
the size of our bills.-Chicago Journal.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19

And now there appears to be some
reason why the children should cry
for 1.-THE Turks have assassinated
the inhabitants of Kastoria.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19

Commencing next Sunday, for four
nights and Wednesday, matinee, Her
bert Kelcey and Miss Effie Shannon
will present Sherlock Holiness" Seats
are now selling at the box office for
this engagement.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19

Sir Thomas Upton may not be able
to lift the mug, but he is going to beat
old death out in this particular race.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
The one Condition

Doctor" said the sweet young thing.
We been told that eating cucumbers
will remove freckleS.' -
SO 1t will, under one condition" replied
'And what is thatE'
That the freckles are on the cuc11m
bers. Philadelphia Press.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
At ST. Paul Theaters

Haverly's minstrels, with Billy Van,
close their engagement at the Metro
-politan with matinee at 2:SO TODAY
and a performance tonight. This is
one of the best minstrel shows that has
been seen in st. Paul for several
years.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19

A matinee tody at 2:3O and a per-
formance tonight at 8:15 will conclude
the engagement of Two Little Waits
at the Grand. Souvenirs will be pre-
sented to the women.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19

The successful season of the New
Majestics at the Star will close this
evening. The business has improved
at every performance and the show
has proved very acceptable to the pa
irons of the house. Next week Con-
gresham Tim Sullivan's Eagle Bur-
lesquers will present the bill.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19

Kidder's rustic drama, "Sky Farm"
VIII be next weeks attraction at the
Grand. An entertainment must be a
worthy one to stay four months at one
theater and over hundred nights at
another, as "Sky Farm" has done
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19
swashington time q p. m. st. PauD.

The Mississippi will rise slowly in the
vicinity of ST. Paul during the next thirty
six hours.
The Saint Paul globe., 1903-09-19

Frank M. Eddy IS very seriously
handicapped. The ST. Paul Dispatch
is regarded as his political organ.-Ap-
pleton Press
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
NORMAL BLOOD A SAFEGUARD.
with 1t It Is Possible for Man to Re-
sist the Attacks of Infecti GUS
UisenseS

Immunity Of the human body
against the generation of bacterial
diseases furnishes field for scientific
research, in which highly important
discoveries have been made by DIR.
Ralph Z. Thompson, of Boston, who is
about to announce to the profession
the results Of his labor. For six
months DR.. Thompson has been at
work on this proposition at the city
hospital and as result will present
to the profession a technique whereby
the discoveries of recent years may
be brought into practical use in the
combat against disease. In the light
of what already has been found, and
which is nothing less than an analysis
of what physicians vaguely term vital
force" it is obvious that man need no
longer remain in uncertainty about
his own ability or want Of ability to
resist the attacks of infectious dis
eases.
Susceptibility to such maladies as
typhoid fever, which poison the blood
and disable the whole system, is de-
clared dependent upon the condition
of the blood at the time of attack,
and not merely upon the presence Of
the injecting germ. In other words,
It is now an acknowledged fact that
when the blood is in its normal condi-
ton it possesses the properties neces-
sary to kill bacteria, and the condition
OF the blood may be determined in
about six hours without inconvenience
TO the patie,a4-
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28

"Stand pat" was the order OF Mark
Hanna to the Ohio republican con-
vention when it was proposed to cut
down the robber tariff rates. The
trusts said cut down the tariff and we
contribute nothing to your corruption
fund and the question was smo Uttered.
Mr.. Roosevelt, after the death OF
William Mckinley, declared his In
tention to carry out. the reciprocity
policy Of his predecessor, but in no
one of the 265 speeches he made DUR
ing bis campaign trip Of two months
duration was there a word uttered
about the trust tariff rates. Mean
while the democratic recognizing
faction were denouncing the tariff and
advocating the nomination of Grover
Cleveland, Dave Hill or Mr.. German
for president who are we'll known pro-
tectionists and faithful servants Of
Wall Street money sharks. It is
wonderful how easily large body OF
the people are fooled by class
privileged flnanciers destitute of be-
nevolent humanitarianism. -National
Republican.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
The Tariff Loqicians.

The St. Louis Star has attempted to
explain how tariff on manufactured
products cheaper by stimulating COM
petition and at the same time makes
wheat dearer by preventing competi-
tion. But its explanations are as lame
as the explanations of the protection
istusually are. The price of wheat is
fixed abroad. Whether the farmer
sells to the mills in his home state or
to the miller in Europe he gets the
foreign price less carriage and COM
missions. The republicans try to show
that tariff on wheat raises the price
of the farmers wheat and then they
try to show the farmer that tariff
lowers the price Of manufactured pro-
ducts. They make the same argu-
ment in regard to wool. They do not
put the arguments side by side, but in
the course of the same speech they
assert that a tariff on wool raises the
price Of wool and that a tariff on the
goods made out of the same wool
lowers the price of the goods. They
make these contradictory arguments
not because there is any truth in
them, but because they have to de.
ceive the farmer. The manufacturers
understand the necessity for such
arguments and overlook them, but re.
publican farmers are expected to &C
cept them at their face value. The
Commoner.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
Iowa's Assessment This Year.

Increase in agricultural wealth OF
two hundred million dollars.
That is what is shown by a compari-
son Of the real estate assessment of
1908 with that of 1901. All but eight
counties have reported, and the aver
age gain is %, 13l, 800 per county. This
is actual or cash values, of course.
There are two counties reporting
decreases-viz: Delaware and Wapello
and for some cause, the smallest
gains are In this part of the state.
For instance, that Of Winnesheik
county is s279, 2O6; Allamakee 1888, 534;
Fayette sl45, 719; Mitchell $685., 1863;
Bremen s767 1856, and Buchanan $685.
OO9. Howard is the only county that
rises to or above the average.
The most valuable lands are located
in Polk or Scott counties, where the
average value is rated up to 1920 and
862.08 per acre. These are the only
ones above $50; but there are thirteen
running from $50 to $50.
Allamakee rates the lowest with an
average of only 1922 81. This is an eff
feet of being located in "the Switzer-
land of Iowa" Winnesheik, rated at
$36.02 per acre, shares in this depres-
sion. For some reason, perhaps an err
ror, Fsyette is graded at s31.11, while
Clayton rises to $50 81. Other dlscrep-
adces are ds follows:-Howard county
S41.10; Mitchell 1874 As, and Floyd s43.-
81. 1t is quite evident that consider.
able equalizing ought to be done by
the Executive Council as between
counties; and that with such rise in
land values a like raise should be
made In railway valuations.-Decorah
Republican.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
800 reward 500.

The readers Of this paper will be pleased
g learn that there il at least one dreaded
diseaas that science Ia. been able to cure in
Cstarrh Cure il the only positive cure
known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being constitutional disease, requires 4
constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure i taken internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system. thereby Destroying the foundation
strength BY building up The Constitution and
assisting nature in doing its work. The
proprstors have 30 much faith in its curs,
tive powers that they offer One Hundred
pollsrs for any case that it fails to cure.
Bend for list OF testimonials.
Addreas !. J. Cheney 4 Co. Toledo. O.
Sold BY Druggists. 7to.
Halle Family Pills are the basS.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28

the Iowa City Republican, hereto
fore q truly loyal republican organ
now, like many other OF its party
newspapers in this state, is not in &C
cord with the -patter-trust-pro.
tecting- corporation-serving, faction Of
Its party.
Referring to the recent actionof the
state executive council in obeying the
dictatton of the railroad corporations,
1t charges that:
I'm order to have an excuse to put q
few millions upon the railway assess
ment valuation, the executive council
has caused an increase of over $780,
100000 to be made on farm valuations.
Phls means an increase Of over Six
millions In farmers, taxes, while the
railways will not have any material
increase, certainly not one OF like pro.
portions. Iowa now has an overs took
OF reform, and it is time to have q
stop made OF such GU TRACES as the one
now being perpetrated OH the land
owners Of Iowa.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
UNFIT FOR HAB1rAr1oN.
Debate dn Parliam emit Calls Att ntioA
to Unsanitary Condition Of
Royal Palaces.

When the house of commons resumed
its sittings few members were present,
and the interest shown in the civil serv-
ice estimates was so slight that hun
dreds of thousands Of dollars were
voted without challenges.
But the sleepy members opened their
eyes when crowds came into the house
to listen to the proposed vote of e4o,-
100000 ($2oo,ooo,ooo) for the royal
palaces.
Interest in this was owing to the re-
fusal Of the Earl Of Leven and Melville,
lord high commissioner for Scotland,
to stop at Holyrood palace according to
his wont, because Of the alleged UNI
sanitary state of the drainage of the
palace and the fact that the king and
queen on their forthcoming visit to
Scotland's capital are to stay at Dali
keith palace instead of Ho1yrood.
j. A. Dewar, who moved the reduce
ton of the vote to call attentionto the
matter, said it had taken strong hold
of the minds of the Scottish people
who objected to courts being held in a
hotel. Thomas Shaw improved on this
by saying the representative of his ma
jesty was going to a public house after
Campbell Bannerman had pressed for
an explanation as to when the palace
should be renovated.
Gibson Bowles laid down the PROPOSE
ton that the lord high commissioner
should perform his duties, even if they
included running the risk of catching
typhoid in an unsanitary Scotch castle,
M. A. E. Fellowes and the solicitor gen.
eral for Scotland gave official assrr.
ances, and Mr.. Balfour was humorous
about the inconvenient way that drains
and ebullitions of national sentiment
had OF breaking out.
| In the next division that followed
the government had majority Of 15s
but that means the government ap'
proves Of the king and sends him to q
temporary habitation in the unsani'
tary dwelling OF which they have al
ready disapproved. Radical member.
arc exultant and wondering what the
king may have to say to this.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28

The Rockford Register says, "Tally
one for Durbin," referring to the ac-
ton Of Governor Durbin of Indiana
In sending the troops to Evansville to
put dow the rioters. II it has not
been done another italy" might be
credited to Durbin. It's now more
than two years since Governo Taylor
Of Kentucky entered Indiana, q fugi-
1--WE from Justice, charged with the
murder Of William Goebel, and Gov
ernor Durbin still refuses to extradite
him. Yes, tally another for Durbin.
New Hampton Tribune.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28

Through Cars TO G. A. r. Enoampment,
The Iowa Special Train to the
u. A. II. EncampmentatSan Francisco
Will run via the Chicago, Milwaukee &
ST Paul, Union Pacific, Denver & Rio
Grande and Southern Pacific railroads.
Through sleeping cars will leave on
ID onday, August 10, as follows:
sheldon, Mason City, DEBORAH,
Cedar Rapids and Perry, one through
tourist sleeping car each.
Dubuque, Winona and Faribault.
one standard sleeping car each.
These cars will be consolidated.
running through as special train for
San francisco. 3.
1t is advisable to make reservations
as early as possible through the near
est agent Of the Chicago, Milwaukee s.
St. Paul railwoy, or John r. Cook,
West Union, Iowa. aug. 3.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
q. NJ. q St. P. R.R Ecu rslons from Z

o. NJ. 3 St. PR. r Ecu rsions from cresco
Homeseekers, first and third Tues
day of each month.
Minneapolis & ST. Paul daily until
Sept. 30th, % 60; good until Oct. 3lst.
Duluth, MIMI, daily until Sept. 30.
San Francisco, g. A. R., Aug. LIST t.
18th.
st. Paul and Minneapolis Carnival.
July 18th, 30th and August 3rd.
La Crosse, Wis, Fair Sept. 2lst to
26th.
Council Bluffs, K. p, Aug. 9Th te
+ Portland and Seattle, Aug. 1st t.
14th, good until Oct. 18th; $4,000
Ask for particulars at ticket office.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
EXPENSES ARE INCREASED.
Cost Of State Institutions Under the
Board Of Control Greater Than
In Previous Years.
STATEMENT GIVEN OF EXPENDITURES.
PAroled Patients from Insane Hospi-
tails Make a Good Observation-Disclosures
Train to San Francisco-Supervi-
sors Do Not Comply with the Law
Charity Conference.
Especial Correspondence

Des Moines, Ia, July 20.-The expense
account of the state institutions under
the board Of control shows an increase
of about SITE, 900 in the biennial period
just closed, as compared with the bien-
NAL period closing July 1, 1901. The In
crease is due to the higher price OF labor
and materials. Salaries increased $64,-
900; provisions, $4,000; fuel and light.
1000; and other items in smaller
amounts. The following is the official
statement issued by the board of control
showing the expenditure during the last
biennial period as compared with that
rf tho ,,rncodinp hienniun.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
For GOOD Roads.

Secretary D. B. Lyons Of the Iowa
Good Roads association has arranged
for county conventions on this sub
5ect in Jackson, Blackhawk, Linn,
Jones and other eastern Iowa counties
during the first half of August. Scott
county recently held a convention
which Secretary Lyons regards as an
inspiration for others. That county
has gone extensively into the actual
work OF making good roads. It has
been Its practice for several years to
devote one-half Of the mulct tax reve-
nue. to the building Of the roads
LEON BROWN.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28

We opine there is more truth than
poetry IN the following from the
Manson Journal, one of the leading
republican newspapers Of the State:
1.-THE departments at Washington are
today filed with men who have not
been able to do an honest days work
In years, yet they hold their jobs,
draw their pay and make some subor-
dinate do the work. To make the
matter worse, these men are mostly
IN the highest classes and are drawing
the largest pay. The same thing goes
on regardless Of who ia at the head OF
the department.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28

Governor Cummins will be elected
by republican votes this fall. Rock
ford Register.
That is probably what will happen,
certain it is that no democrat has any
reason to vote for him now, since he
surrendered his famous ssIcwa idea, y
that by Implication was too democrat
ic to suit the ultra republican pro-
tectionists. New Hampton Tribune.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
a Surgical Operation

Is always dangerous do not submit to
the surgeons knife until you have
tried DeWitt's Witch Hazel SaIve.
II VIII cure when every thing else fails
lit has done this In thousands of
cases. Here is one of them: I suffered
from bleeding and protruding piles
lor twenty years. Was treated by
oiHerent specialists and used many
remedies, but obtained no relief until
l used ne Wits Witch Hazel Salye.
Two BOXES OF this salve cured me
sigheen months ago and I have not
nag q tou "a OF the piles since. III. a..
In,1soaie, Summerton, &c. For Blind,
bbieeulnP, Itching and Protrudiug
Witch Hazel Salve. Sold by Shuttle.
worth Drug Co. ~
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
A Eaele.. Case.

A case came to me this morning"
said the great lawyer, that propose
to handle without gloves
What kind of case is it?" asked
the human interrogation point.
"A case OF soap" replied the legal
luminary with an open-faced grain.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
Low. Rates Northwest.

In addition to the low rates to Cali.
fornia and return, August / to IA, low
round-trip rates to Portland, Seattle,
Tacoma, Victoria and Vancouver will
be in effect on the same dates. For
complete information about rates and
train service see the nearist agent of
the Chicago, Milwaukee s. st. Paul
railway, or write to F. A. MILLER,
General passenger Agent, Chicago.
aug 9 1tw
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
Democratic Ticket.

Governor. B. Sullivan, Union
County.
Lieutenant Governor. d. Butler
Iowa County.
Judge of the Supreme Court. B.
Caldwell, Tama County.
Superintendent of Public Instruc-
tions-A. r. McCook, Howard County.
Railroad Commissioner-W. S. Porter
Hardin County.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
$500 to Chicago.

Ibis low rate now in effect via the
unlcago Great Western Railway. ia
"a Germediate points higher. For rnI.
SneT information apply to any Great
mesiern Agent, OF ]. p. Elmer, Chtca.
80 A'h July 81.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-07-28
An Unneces.arv sac.,ao.

Paul-What in the world made him
marry her2
sanford-Her wonderful skill In
playing the piano.
Paul-Didn't he know there were
self-playing pianos in the market?-
Brooklyn Life.