The daily telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1901-1926, 1903-09-14
HE HORST
IS GONE
AFTER FIVE DAYS OF ROASTING
AND COOKING IN THE NEW
CABBAGE cREMAroRY.
BUT m IS DOUBTED WHETHER IT
WAS BURNED UP OR HAULED
CITY clerk W. h. Cole Makes the Dis
coyery Sunday Afternoon and He
Thinks the Oven Is a Complete

1 &AASAAASSAA
Thinks the Oven is a Complete
Success.
City Clerk William Barlow Cole went
out to the city garbage crenatory Sun
dny afternoon to make an investigation.
He wanted to see how Albert Miles mare
was getting along. The city clerk fig
ured it out that if the crematory wasn't
going TO cremate that dead horse, they
should take it out of the oven and bury
it.
Several of Mr.. Coles intimate friends
and associates accompanied him upon his
Investigation, curious to see the crema-
tory and to see how horse looked wheI1
it was frozen One or two of them
said they had been out to the Piont Mills
site, but had failed to discover the where
abouts Of the cremntory. Mr.. Cole as
srred them that they had looked in the
wrong place for it. When the city clerk
triumphantly led his party of friends
up to the crematory, several of them
circulated: .'Oh, is that the crematory?"
The city clerk reassured them in a sar-
castical tone that it was the crematory.
sNow. wait a minute, boys, and III
show you the frozen horse" said Mr..
Cole to the anxious on-lookers. Siezing
a long pole which was lying conveniently
on the ground nearby, the city clerk,
pulled up the lid of the crematory and
peered down into the unknown depths
of forzen horse and accumulated garb-
age. After knocking the loose blocks
of ice away from the spot where the
horse had lain in sweet repose for the
past five days, he gave a vigorous punch
with the stick. To his utter consterna-
tion and surprise, the stick went clear
through the fire bars of the furnace and
touched the iron bottom of the crema-
tory. Barlow punched again, as one will
pinch himself to see if he is really awake
when he behoIds something seemingly
impossible. The stick struck nothing
but only scraped the sides of the fire
bars of the furnace CRATE. Then sud
denly a great light of understanding
broke upon MIR. Coles intelligence, and
he knew. With joyful and happy
scream of delight, he bawlcd:
Look. fellows, It's gonel It's burn
up! The horse is goneln The Others
rushed up to the spot to behold that
what Mr. Cole had said was indeed tho
glorious truth. A sort of a love feast
and happy dance was held on the spot
and the whole bunch jumped and danced
around the crcmatory in eXultation and
triumphant Joy, shouting and throwing
their hats in the air. At last when this
spontaneous explosion of happiness had
somewhat subsided they all circled
around the crematory and in solemn
mein and dignity, sang the old song,
"Glory, Glory, 'Hallelujah."
ssThat's all right" said Mr. Cole, "the
crematory is all o. X. Theionly trouble
with it is that there isn't enough garb-
age and dead horses in the thing. You've
got To I'LL it clear up to the top of the
lid with dead horses before the thing
win burn all right That's all right
A city such rs ClarlSsburg ought to have
forty or fifty dead horses day for the
purpose alone. Now, if we .can fill 'er
up tomorrow with, say, thirty eight dead
horses. it's sure go, and the city will
have saved a whole lot of money. just
think how nice it will be not to have all
those dead horses lying around in the
street, decaying and rotting. Why, I'll
venture the assertion, boys, that if we
put thirty.eight horses in there tomor-
row they will all be burnt up by Christ
mas. That is, if the gas supply doesn't
give out. 0, it's a great thing
The Telegram reporter saw the happy
city clerk in his office this morning. But
he wasn't so happy. He was yelling in
a pleading sort of way, "a horsel a
horsei My clerkship for a horse'" He
had finally discovered that dead horses
are few and far betwee.. in Clarksburg
Mr.. Cole looked somewhat despondent
but Mr.. Little, the Dixon company's rep
resentativc came along and consoled him
by giving him a ten-cent Ruhl- Koblegar6
stogie and telling him that he would see
that the newspapers wouldn't say any
thing about the matter.
street Superintendent Ed. Doyle say'
Barlow was Iaboring under a hallucina
tion ut the crematory yesterday. III
says that someone had hauled that deaf
horse away from the city refrigeratory
thinking it had been in cold storage long
enough, and that somewhere in tow
this week there would be cold hors'
sandwiches on public sale.