West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-12-17
Mr.. BONSERS REP0RM.
IL Began and Ended the Same Qaiet
Evening at Home.

~ W. WIN tuc icmafkt
Well I'm glad to be home after the long
day. Fact is I've been bit lonesome for
my sootsie-wootsie.
There are occasions when lemonade or
ginger ale have a strange effect on MIR.
bowser. but after one searching glance at
him Mrs. Bowser was satisfied that he had
imoibed nothing stronger than water. lie
was simply good, and during the dinner
hour he could hardly find words enough 10
make her understand that he had determin.
ed on radical change. He praised the
dinner, the cook aud the grocer. and he
even spoke In terms of praise Of the farmer
who raised the fried potatoes. In way.
Mrs, Bowser was pleased and grstihed. and
In way she fels a fear at her heart
Now then. little one. he said as dinner
was finished and they returned TO the
sitting room. let us sit down for an old.
fashioned chat was thinking TO day
what a good looking girl you were when I
came couriing. You are girl no longer.
out don't mean to intimate that you are
falling OF In looks. No. not by a iugful,
But have got to be 20 years old. replied
Mrs. Bo~ser. with blush and sigh.
Forty noihings. You may be 30 as the
years 90. but no one would take YOU for a
day over as. In fact. often wonder that
people don't take you for my daughter.
Not day over as. my dear. and growing
better looking all the time
That's awfully sweet of you. but you must
not make me vain. thought heard the
newsboys crying out something about an
attempted assassination. Has anyone been
seeking the Presidents life again7
Don't attempt TO switch me OF. laughed
Mr Bo~ser. as he shook his finger playfuIly
at her. know what you arc afraid OF, but
you needn't be. This will be a permanent
reform. made up my mind to that to.da, y.
and from this date you will find me a
different man. We will let the President take
care OF his own life. while we continue our
o'd'iashioned chat. want to apologize to
you In the humbcst manner.
But for what. dear man7 she asked.
Surely you have done nothing TO apologize
for,
Nothing but a million different things.
Mrs Bowser. haven't been the husband
to you that ought to have been, aud /
realize II, and want 10 boot myself
Oh, but you've been good husband. Al
times you are n little eccentric but that Is
nothing TO apologize for haven'i single
complaint to make
That shows what dear. darling, precious
vile you are, and what a buildosing old
buxzard am. spent two hours this after.
noon going over our past. aud when 20,
through wanted some one 10 kick me.
We hadn'i been married four weeks when
began 10 blow and boss around. and I've
kept IL up ever since No wonder your
good old mother says that II I'D have had
some women TO live with they would have
broken my neck inside OF three months.
Bot she dIdn'; mean H. OF course. smiled
Mrs. Bowser. She's also bit eccentric.
You have way Of your own. as we all
have; but there isn't better.hearted man
living. Is it too late TO go to the theatcr
to.nieht7
I'D go to the theater with you 40 times
over. replied Mr.. Bowser. but tonight
feel like talking. want you 60 be assured
that have reformed There will be no
further coming home to raise row. on my
part because ihe front gate happens TO be
standing open.
Mrs. Bowser realized that she could moi
get away from the position. aud that she
would have TO see Il through and abide by
the consequences. and she made up her
mind 70 face them braveiy Mr.. Bowser
walked 10 and fro with his hands cIasped
behind his back. followed by the cat. and
presently halted 10 saw
Yes, II there is any more bulldozing
around this house. you will have 10 be ,he
bulldoser yourself And can tell YOU here
and now that am through fooIiug my time
and money away buying patent becbIves
and grasshopper traps. What an ass I
have been. And what an angel you have
been 70 put up with my foolisbncss.
cant quite expect that you can forgive r,e.
but please do the best you can.
There were tears 10 Mr.. Bowser's eyes.
There were also tears in Mrs. Bowssr.s
eyes. There would also have been tears in
the eyes Of the family cat II she hadn't
made greateffort aud crushed then, back
The fearful interval lasted for three or
four minutes. and then Mr.. Bowser said.
Yes, have wasted thousands OF dollars
investing IN gimcfacks. and each and every
time against your advice. People have
taken me for q soft mark for years and
years. bat couldn't seeJt. The end has
come At LAST. however The next man Who
takes me Tor fat Is going 20 get badly
left
am glad 10 hear you say so. replied Mrs
Bowser Althongh lots Of other men have
probably been just as foolish r. business
atthe ofiee good, sl..4s
Iesnt understand, he coutinned. Ignoring
her question. about my buying that old COW
last spring The men warranted her 70 be
a'newmilcb COW and only four years old.
but you told me he was lying about II
Instead Of needing whsf you said went
aud paid s:s for the animal. and how did Il
turn out7
Oh. we'll that was months ago. DO YOU
think we are going TO have snow before
morning.
know Il was monihs ago but what.
hsppened' II was no' 4 new milcb COW.
Instead Of 10 quarts Of milk per dax she
dropped 70 three. Instead Of being four
years old she was nearer "a tried to
stick IL out and blna you down bul was
ashamed Of myself an The time. The day
got rid Of her for fls hcavcd a great sish
Of relief. That reminds me OF another
thing want 20 own up 70.
But Why no, ict il all 70. dcarS LET'S ron
over 70 the Browns for an hour or two.
/ can't LEI Il 60 must make clean