The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-08-25
neighbor? Can any one suggest a valid
reason why not? Be honest, now.

The train running between Spencer and
Spirit Lake, Iowa, is SO slow that the
Lakefeld Standard is driven to tell how,
as the train was nearing the latter sta
ton, the conductor came thru and stopped
in front of an old, White-headed man and
said: Cricket, please The old gentle-
man said that his ticket had been taken
up. The conductor then inquired where
he had boarded the train and the old man
replied, cat Spencer The conductor
said: "Why, nobody but a little boy got
on at that place" 'Wen,'' the old man
replied, I'm that little boy"
Speaking of breakfast foods a man who
has recently returned from near Lake
Ida stated that a farmer told him that If
he had cup Of strong coffee and chew
of tobacco he considered that he was suf-
fciently nourished until the dinner hour.
Comedians Ezra Kendall and Barney
Bernard had fist fight in San francisco
over the right to use an old story started
by Rameses or some other sugar-cured
Egyptian Of the crop Of 1887 B. c. The
story which each wanted to tell over the
footlights was something like this:
'You know my big, fat daughter is ths
eldest of my six children. Well, we got
in a street car the other day, and she lay
on the seat Then her five brothers and
sisters climbed on top of her. When the
conductor asked for her fare gave him
two and half cents. He said she was
too big to ride at that rate and replied,
Well, she's under five.
The comedians after telling the story
and each hearing that the other had COM
mitted the crime, met in an eating place
and struck out viciously. They were
parted by alleged friends.
| Normal Park, near Chicago, has just
| had its ghost laid. Fierce and wild were
the noises made by the perturbed spirit,
and the parks timid ones were badly
| frightened. Nervous sweethearts were in
each others arms, small children nestled
closely to their mothers, and most of the
| kids in the vicinity were under surveil-
Elance.
| Just as dusk swooped down on the sub
urb a hundred or more of the boys as
| sembled for the purpose OF raising the
alleged ghost which had aroused SO much
interest and racket. AS the ghost did not
show up, the boys started to riot Car
bage cans were slapped with laths, bricks
were thrown against barn doors and the
bows unloosened series of yells that went
right to the spot wherever a nervous per-
son was living. Finally somebody pulled
1 the riot call for the police and the hurry
wagon changed into the neighborhood.
! In the midst of the trouble Mrs. d. T..
Patterson arrived and took a hand in the
investigation Calling her son James into
the sweat box, she quizzed him closely.
James,"
| Mother"
''What about those ghosts?"
s'It wasn't a ghost at all, mother; 1t
was me- was crying like the wolf that
lost his mate
"Why, James,"
Then James told how he had heard
Ernest Seton Thompson initiate the calls
| of animals.
After watching the boys ''play," II you
are at all thoughtful there will be times
when you do not wonder that mother,
overworked and over-annoyed, sometimes
basely slaps her child with twenty
horsepower slipper He tries to earn it.
i :. "A. J. r.