The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1903-11-15
Way OF
Folly OF Trying to Make People Happy
I'm Our Way.
Robert Kitchens.

6ODerL t1lCDeuS-
I suppose there is nothing more pleas
ant than being allowed to be happy in
ones own way, nothing so disagreeable as
being forced TO try TO be happy in some
one else's way. Most of us probably realize
this. yet there are probably few of us who
do not try, and try often, TO persuade I'M
fortunate people to endeavor to be happy
in our own way, in the way that hts In with
our peculiarities OF temper, temperament,
bringing up. constitution. 1 remember once
going to stay with a man at the seaside.
My idea of seaside happiness Is to live out
Of doors in sand-shoes, TO shrimp, to
scramble on rocks, to go out in sailing
boats, and TO have the salt wind perpetually
blowing in my face. His was to sit at home
In carpet slippers and read philosophy, 1
am afraid / worried him fearfully to be
happy in my way. Being good tempered, he
yielded TO my opportunities. carried the
shrimping net, and bounded in the surf. But
one day j was obliged to leave him alone
and run UP to town. When L came back
late in the evening / found him looking
radiant, and asked him if he had had a
good day. Splendid" he answered, with
enthusiasm. ''where did you go?' 1 in
quired. "Go," His face fell, and he looked
at me doubtfully. Eyes. Did you go out fish,
ing, or sailing, or what?' AT last L got out
of him that he had gone nowhere. He had
spent the entire day sitting in the house,
with his back to the sea, and his feet on
the Tenders. reading Se~hopenhauer. After
that / let him alone. His shining eyes had
shown me that my way of happiness was
not his.
Yet. so hardly do we learn certain les
Eons, so ocdurate is the heart of man, L
shall find 1t difficult to relinquish the eff
fort to lead others sometimes. even often,
in my way Of happiness. 1t is almost i'm
possible to me to believe that certain things
which make me happy, or certain places, or
climates. which make me happy may leave
others sad, or even breed melancholy In
them.
1t is absurd to assume things about other
people. to think that all the world shares
any emotion. any desire, dislike or af-
lection. / nave met men and women VINO
were plunged into profound melancholy by
the approach OF spring. The sight OF grow
ing things distressed them. Flowers prick
ing up through the moist earth, larks CAROL
was growing green. stirred them to a mute
despair. In the golden decay, the colored
deaths of autumn, they found their JOY.
All the poets are against such people, i
know. Yet they exist, and walk In their
curious byway to happiness.
1 find happiness in MISUNDERSTANDING,
seeing new places. peoples. learning the
tricks of climates new 10 me, the customs OF
strange Inen. Others find IL In repose. One
mani think it was a clergyman, but 1t
may have been a stockbroker or a novelst-
found that his happiness lay In bed. he
was a wealthy man and enjoyed life, but one
day he caught a chill, and was advised by
his doctor TO spend twenty-four hours In
bed. He spent twenty years there. Lying
In bed and reading novels, and having nice
little meals brought up from time 70 time
appealed so strongly to him that his mead
has been on the sacred DOlSter ever siuCe-
A servant / once had found her happi-
ness In one thing only-in tea drinking. She
was an inveterate, even a maniacal tea
bibber. She BEGAN to drink tea at 6:9o In
the morning, and did not knock of till near
ly 1870 at night. She drank her tea, the
buttons's tea, the parlor-maid's tea, the
cooks tea, everybody's tea At last there
was anarchy in the house. and she had to
be told she must either restrict herself to
six pots Of tea a day or pack up and go;
She did not hesitate a moment. She packed
up and went. Happiness, she knew, lay
for her sewhere, in the great beyond of
the outside world, where with fancy's eye,
she saw tea for ever stewing on the hob.
That servant, at any rate, had learned one
great fact. She had learned where her
happiness lay. Some are less fortunate.
They do not know what will please them.
Distracting beings. / always avoid them
as much as possible. Their atmosphere is
perturbiag. L prefer the servant at the
hob. or the gentleman on the bolster. In
them, at least, there Is determination; they,
at least, do not stray from one side to the
other. but walk sturdily. even passionately.
in their ways of happiness