The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-09-19


It's new Datent safety life-preserVer
for ferryboatss steamers. etc.
Friend-Whats its advantages over
the old kind
Inventor-The advantage? Why sir,
you may not believe it, but it's SO light
that if thrown to a person in the water
it can hit him, without killing him.
New York Weekly.
Jimmy. Didn't If make you feel
like 30 cents when the footpads opped
you?-
We'll. 1 guess And I must have
looked like L o'clock
How do you mean?'
Hands p."-Philadelphia Press.
Tommy Tucker had been hurt while
performing the act he called dipping a
freight train. will he get well, doc
tor?'' distractedly asked Mrs Tucker.
is he out of danger?' A
HE will get well. madam replied
of danger. He will probably do the
same thing again the first chance he
has."-Chicago Tribune.
You look pretty busy this morning.
JUDI ventured the angular woman
with the pail of huclzleberries.
Yeas, sistah." replied the Kentuck-
ian with tbs gun. i've jes' sohtah
finished UP the Wheatfield boys. an
now I'm goin' aftah the Birdlys-"
y
come in an have a b:te?"
No; then I got to go to church. -
Chicago Daily News.
Walking about one day in the land
of shadows, Charles Dickens unexpect-
edly encountered Mr. Pecksniff.
My dear fellow" said Mr.. Dickens.
Il hope you entertain no i'll will toward
me on account Of the unenviable noto-
riety I seem to have given you"
Sir loftily replied Mr.. Pecksniff,
you owe me no apology. The name OF
Pecksniff will be remembered long after
the name OF Dickens is forgotten. =
Chicago Tribune.
Why are you so sad, my boy?" asked
the kind old man.
II was jest wishin' it was skatin'
time" replied the fearful youngster.
why. saw you in swimming a lit
tie While ago, and you seemed TO be en-
1 joyin= that"
and I'd feel better now if could sit or
the ice awhile. "-Philadelphia Press.
There is an old negro living in Car
rollton who was taken i'll several days
ago and called in physician of his
race to prescribe for him But the old
man did not seem to be getting any
Your husband said The doctor, has
worried himself sick. He needs a
change" Where ought we TO go?''
asked the anxious wife. ITO the city,
replied the doctor promptly, where he
Will not. live constantly in a narrowing
atmosphere of suburban trains and time
tables. Chicago Evening Post.
Woody Riter-He was the most
boorish editor I ever met. He said my
manuscript was Just so much waste
paper.
Crittick-The idea, He was way off.
Woody Riter-Wasn't he, though?
Crittick-Of course. Since you al
ways write on one side of the paper
only, the other side must still be good
Philadelphia Press.
It was a rarely discriminating au-
dience III
Author. Authofi" it roared.
The man to whom the royalties were
being paid cams before the curtain and
bowed =
Author AuthoriR ciarnnred the audi
encs stiIl.-PucKs
Hiram, said Mrs. Corntossel, did
you buy anything when you was to
town."
Yes"
Didn't get mixed up in no decep-
tions?"
well, I won't say positive that I
didn't. OF course. l didn't invest in no
gold bricks, but I got a lot of canned
vegetables to work off on the summer
boarders. ashington Star.
BY special aerogram from Yokohama
August s. 20O3-"The Russians have an
nounced that they are about to evacuate
Manchuria. cleveland Plain Dealer.