The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-08-09

| ing shopkeepers. Then, with frazzled
| nerves, seek a dressmaker. Your beauti-
full goods. for which you went without meals
and perilled your immortal soul, are out
| with the expanding generosity known
| only to those who handle the possessions
] OF others, and the result is an example of
the wondrous power of human minds to
differ.
Not in any one place does the thing fiji
7 he neck is too large, the armholes too
small, the waist too short, the sleeves too
! long, the front draws to the back, the back
leaps up over the front, and the curse of
| Eve ia upon you
| Never again, never aganl / will go to
a tailor the next time and pay his price,
That majestic being disdainfully takes
| your trembling little order for a half dozen
| at IS per, and drawls over his shoulder TO
one of his minions:
! Send up dem tree dozent up to Mrs. Bill
| lions, on FIT avana, and make out de bill
for toit y-nine dollars apiece, just to let you
realize your insignificance.
Then having prudently placed your order
! in February, to avoid the spring rush, you
| get your waists in the latter part Of August.
| Yes, you admit, the rush has been avoided.
Meantime, you have subsisted on shirt
waist and half, left over from some OF last
| seasons insists.
! Stocks promised relief from the old decap-
itation machines called linen collars. which
| branded the red ring of their butchery on
, your once snowy flesh The woman with
the unswanlike neck sang psean OF Joy
Now. indeed. shall l have comfort
Not so.
Stocks have but proved further devices
| OF Satan Never, by any chance, does one
fit 1t is too high in front too low In the
honI HroNp III
over 1t makes your pretty neck assume
bovine proportions and reminds you OF the
man who asked the haberdasher for
larger collar.
These are the largest we have, sir.
You will find larger ones next door.
Next door was harness shop.
A neat belt! Does man know the hours
of toll. Of wrath. of detection, of misplaced
confidence, that the neat belt has COST
He does not What recEs he that the skirt
and the shirt waist must centre on hair
line? What knows he Of the sad parting
Of the affectionate hook and eye; of the
subtle sin of trusting too fondly the de-
Msye snap fastener; Of trembling digits
torn nv the claws of the Only Perfecl ion
Ne~er-let-go Shirt Waist and Skirt Fa7-
tener Of strings, bands. pins and other
graceless and he-sent devices that must
combine to produce that simple and neat APP
pearsnce so calmly approved by the in
exor8ble masculine mind?
plain hat,
on, Mother Eve Was it for his YOU
wove raiment Of the glistening fig leaf
When woman wears plain hal she feels
thai she has indeed abandoned all hope,
in this world and the next
If she Yields to the fatal call Of duty, and
with despairing wrath in her soul buys hat
which will stand eight changes oi weather
In as many hours, she at least fondly hopes
against hope that it may not be withou
,,f hot
where in curve Of the brim, the twist Of a
scarf or the angle Of quill there may lurk
suggestion of the coquettish grace for
which she would cheerfully barter her
birthright and all her gods; and then to
know-to be told, with brutal masculine
nconscousnessthat il suggests naught
but what it is--plain'
II Ia enough to cause the stanchest fem
mime to flee TO a table dh6te and drown her
sorrows in red ink!
Even deeper than the sword thrust Of
the plain hat ia the wound inflicted by tho
short skirt.
Oh. yesl know. know. So cleanly
and sensible, That's what | am talking
about So graceless, too, so inelcgant
so lacking in allurcment, 40 unsuhtle, 40
typical Of all tho disagreeable .vlrtuesl
With wrath sors the tall, slim girl herself
thereby made into n natty imitation OF
FrankfurteI, and with woe beholds she Of
the clnbonpoini herself therein suRgnaing
naught but one Cf Grandmalnna = feath her
holsters. with that neat belt surrounding
midway,
To be dressed for business. TO don this
simple garb means to rise AT dawn, TO
pin, TO buckle, to strap, 10 adiust--to curse.
TO abandon faith. hope and charity
Not till the day IL over and the sweet
dusk enwraps, may tho business woman
come into her kingdom, Then, if fate il
kind, the bachelor maid may take ven
goance on duty in mad delight OF trailing
gowns, fluffy hair. rapturously free neck,
absurd heels, and ravishments OF lingerie.
Thus may she gain courage to face again
the day Of shirt-waist wrath.