The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1903-11-21
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D. Ieachef-W mere was the Declaration
Of Independence signed? Tommy-At
the bottom. < Chicago Daily News.
Mrs. Kidlett-John, why do you al.
ways call our boy "coffee2" Mr.. Kid
lett-Cause he keeps us awake nights,
Philadelphia Evening Bulletin.
Knicker-- Was 1t an up.
to-date wedding7 Knocker-Yes, In.
deed; they threw breakfast food In.
stead Of rice.-New York Herald.
An absorbing narrative: First Phil.
adelphian-How is that book? Excit-
ing2 Second Philadelphian-Why,
sat up all day reading it!-Town Top
les.
At the seaside: Clerk-That back
piazza is pretty shaky. 1t may break
down some night. Proprietor-Must
It be rebuilt? Clerk-Oh, no; light II
uptown Topics.
At the photographers: "Have the
pleasant. expression you need" Voice
from under the cloth -Perfectly, sir"
Then let her go quick, governor; it
hurts my face. "-Life.
Anew Annunciator. -Guest Tin cheap
lodging house)-Say, there amt no bell
in my room. Clerk-Datll be all right,
mister. If youse want anything wiring
de towel. See?-Chicago News.
AS defined: "say, mamma" queried
little Mary Ellen, whats dead let
terT ANY letter that Is given to
your father to mail, my DEAR" replied
the wise mother-Chicago News.
Employer-Yes, l advertised for q
strong boy. Think you will ill the
bill? Applicant-Well, just finished
lickin' nineteen other applicants out
in de hall.-Philadelphi Inquirer.
The Ruling Power.-The Peddler-1
want to see the mistress Of the house.
The Master-Do you? Then step
around to the kitchen door and ask
for the cook.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Sincerity: zone O de sad things
bout dis life," said Uncle Eden, 'iS
dat it's SO much easier to depend on
de enmity of yoh enemies dan on do
friendship Of yoh friends. "-Washing-
ton Star.
Lacked experience: Mamma-Don't
let me catch you in lie again, you
naughty boy! JOHNNY won't II I
can help it; but I haven't had the ex-
perience that pa has had.--Boston
Transcript.
I'm glad to see that you respect
your parents, Elmer" said the minis
ter. 1--WE just got to do it," replied
the little fellow "Why, either one Of
them could lick me with one hand
Chicago News.
First Explorer-We must hurry
back. Second Explorer-But the
North Pole is ours If we keep on.
First Explorer-But If we don't get
back now, We'll be too late for the lee
ture season.-Life.
Had won her: The chronic bachelor
finally turned to the quiet man, who
had taken no part in the discussion.
Would you, sir" he said, marry the
best woman in the worldY Il did"
was the reply.-Judge.
Young Wife-What do you do when
your husband gets cross and wants to
scold? Wife with experienced read
him one or two Of the letters he used
to write to me before we were mar"
ried.-Baltimore American.
Bigby-Tm saving up money to so
to Europe. Higby-Indeed! How are
you getting on? Blgby-Fine! I've al
ready got together enough for the
tips, and as soon as can scare up
travelling expenses I'm of.-Chicago
Daily News.
Not Joke.-Giles-Tak two letters
from money" and one is left. Miles
is that a joke? Yes, verify" "Weli,
know of a fellow who took money
from two letters" That's q good
Joke" Not it; he got twelve months"
Spare Moments.
Patsy-Mom, won't yer gimme me
candy, now? Mrs. Casey-Didn't Oh
tell We OF wouldn't give ye amy at all
II ye didn't kape still? Patsy-Yes'm'
but Mrs Casey-Well, the longer
We kape still the sooner yell get It,
Phila delphia Press.
II reckon you won't believe It," re-
marked Farmer Hayrix, but that old
rooster what jist crowd is more'n ~
wears old" ooh, believe 1t all right
enough" replied the summer boarder'
land | am also willing to believe THAI
the old hen we had for dinner was his
qrsndmother.-Chi Daily News.
Casey-shure, they do be tellin' me
that Big Moike Monohan wor knock
ed down be an autymobile, Yesterday;
wor there any bones broke, 1 dunno!
Conlev-Troth, an there wor; tn own
or av tn diyll-wagon got his nose
broke, tn chawfer got his jaw broke
an Big Moike broke tn sicOnd knuckle
Az his roight fisht!-Puck.
Peters marriage is like 70"
nance, Parr-So? Peters-Yes; sne
eloped with her fathers chauheur.
The automobile blew up and killed.
him before they got to the minister
The man who rescued her from the