The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-07-05

COpyright. .sOa. By Robert Howard Russian


Jolt for Loves Young Dream. While
bertrand was waiting for a Chance To
elope with the Bud, New Show came
70 IoWn and there tipped across the
horizon of his Fresh Young Life a
tiurrah Soubrette who wore Holes in
the Stage every Evening doing a very
refined Coon Number.
From the moment when he looked
up at her and saw that she had taken
notice of his Presence on Earth. he
passed into a Sweet Trance from which
he did not fully Awake until the
Iroups left Town, when he found him
self watching the Red Light djsappear
around the Curve and realized that he
nad played his Violets on the Wrong
Number.
The Busy Lover always goes from
one Extreme to another, so the next
Crack out of the Box what does Brash
BERTHE do but get himself all worked
up to Temperature of 104 over the
kind that is known as Terribly Bright
The one he was determined to Marry
unless somebody got out an Iniunc-
uon. SAT around in an off-color kind
Oh sad, Mother Hubbard makeup and
handed out Brilliant Conversation that
was good enough to be taken down in
Shorthand and put right into a Box.
she threw her Search-Light on the
helpless Bertrand and dazzled him to
Fare-ye-well. She got him into a
turkish Corner and told him of the
Warnings of her Soul and all about
her Empty Life and how she had
CROPPED for an Affinity and although he
muffed good many of her Points and
was clear of the Ground most of the
Time, he realized that he was in the
presence of one who could take him
by the Hand and show him a lot of
Things that he had never been wise
to, as yet So he wanted to marry her
ana SIT around all Day with his Head
on her Shoulder and have her talk
Copy, worth about cents a Word.
Father noticed that he was off his
Feet and looking wild out of the Eyes.
so he called him in and wanted to
know the name of the New One.
cut 1t out, said he, when he learn
ed the Horrible Truth. Home is not
a Lecture Bureau. 1 don't blame any
Man for marrying a Women who has
got the Intellectual Bulge on him. In
these Days of Thursday Afternoon
Clubs and Reading Circles, it's a Cheap
Grade of Wife who hasn't got the
he-end of the Outfit beaten to a Pulp.
Nearly every Woman knows more
than her Husband, but it helps some
if he has enough Gray Matter to en-
able him to chip in now and then, if
only to give her the right Cues. But
80 years would be long Time to sit
at one end of the Dining Room Table.
feeling about the size of a Roach. l
have known several specimens of the
Victim who marries the Woman, who
is going to lead him on and on. She
leads him on and on, until he begins
to Blow and then she usually goes on
and on with something wearing
White Necktie and an Alpaca Coat.
If l were you, / would marry some
one of about my own Mental Calibre.
Of course, you may have to hunt a
long time. but when you locate her
you can tell that she is the Right
Kind. Any one who will agree to
Marry you is in your Glass and you
can gamble on that"
II have tried the Innocent Young
Thing, the Sophisticated Soubrette and
the Cultured Club Girl, and you kick
on all of Them said Bertrand.
"They are all Nice Girls" said Mr.
Flappingdale. Let's wait until we
spot one who has something coming
to her and then we will put up a Good
Joke on her"
MORAL: 1t is a Wise Father That
tumbles to his own Son.