Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1903-03-25
|. G. Mcfarland, Consul at
Reichenberg, May Turn
Goat Farmer
TO GENE RlNFoRD
to Learn Everything About the
Bewhiskered Ansora, With a View
of Giving Up His Consular Position
if He Can Determine Whether Goat
Farming Pays-Life in Gay Bohemia.

] consul at Reichenberg Austria, may
turn goat farmer Intelligence to tina,
effect is received in a letter forwarded
here by Gene Binford. who is estab-
lished near Kirksyille in charge Of the
Binford angora goat farm. Mr.. Me-
Farland is seeking information from
an experienced goatologist and has
written lMr. Binford to ascertain Just
/ what there is in the goat business, be-
fore he seriously considers giving up
his consular position to turn goat farm
Ell. incidentally Mr.. Mcfarland tells,
in his characteristic way, of life in
gay Bohemia. His letter which will
be of much interest to his many Iowa
friends and those in this city follows:
Il suppose that you'll be surprised at
this letter, but i hear that you are down
| there on the goat farm, and / want to
earn something about goats. If there
is anything financially or socially at
uactive about goats, and any shooting
or fishing lying around handy like for a
siGe line, think Ill turn goat farmer
myself. Do they have 10 have any
thing to eat besides burrs. tin cans
and snakes and if. what? How much
and how often? Do they ever trink ?
Are they amiable and decent like for
regular associates, or are they misera-
BILE and melancholy ard tit company
for neither man nor beas.? How much
land have you got, ami does it raise
anything besides goats? How many
goats have you got and do they crop
we'll? What are they good for, any
way-do you shear 'enl or milk 'em, or
both9 Did you ever try milking ma
chine on goats? Do th@y ever die, and
IL so, what for, and how old does goat
or goatess have to be before he or she
reaches the age of discretion and profit?
How many goats does II person have to
have before he's really happy and able
to enjoy life? Don't you want to sell
for partner? At any rate, tell ME all
about the goat sinass-except, of
course, any professional secrets. DR..
Getz got me interested once in the mat
ter when he had scheme to corner all
the goats in the worlt. and vaccinate
'en. That was all right Us a seductive
bit of philanthropy, bur l want TO see
if you corroborate the more unitarian
and woolly tales of your respected sire.
Besides, / want to hear from you
and of you. Have thought of you often
end wondered how you We're coming on
physically and otherwise--well, l hope.
II not. read Clara Lolise Burnhams
THE Right Princess" Then you'll be
able to transfer any old ailmen. you
have to some goat THAI has lost inter
est in life and wouldn't mind 1t much
anyhow. / used to quarrel with my
anatomy some myself, but since those
English doctors cut off my appendix l
hardly know that l have an anatomy
ard have recovered my youth. foun?
out later that ! fooled those doctors a
little, too. Just before ! left England
my physician told me that at their con-
sultation. before operating. they had
decided that was too far gone for any
further use in this world. But said he,
you decided differently. You put up
your American spunk and smiled at us
and came out fine So keep your
tail feathers up and you'll do the
same.
I'VE are now quite Bohenianized.
The people here mixed Austrians and
are about the happie}st lot
I've struck yet-the common people,
mind you, for I'm not speaking OF the |
house of Hapsburg or the Saxon court.
nor of the nobility whose idleness
breeds the folies of luxury and whose
imports the expensive vices of
the highest modern civilization. "A few |
years ago I'd have called them shift |
less, but as my philosophy broadens l
don't know but that their scheme of |
life has considerable virtue in it after |
all. In proportion as the pursuit of |
pleasure, the satisfaction of full stom-
lch, the delights of ,nusic and the |
dance, the allurements of mountain and
forest, the love of children and a SEEM
ng carelessness as to the worries Of life
constitute happiness, these people are
surely happy. Perhaps they are also
Happy in not thinking they know how
% be happier, for If they did they would
Try it just like any fool American and
.hus lose the chief charm of their ex-
ence-contentment. I don't know
hat I'm prepared to defend their con-
,eption of social morality nor altoigeth-
y their rich cooking, but their beer is
he best in the world, and that covers a
VI ASSoAobo Nun
,ther peoples standards. On the whole
have concluded that they are more to
,e envied in their contentment and
lays crowded with pleasures than our
tribe of greater and lesser
elfish, grasping money slaves, sans
physical constitutions and moral by
avs, who are always chasing Fleas-
ire, but never catch up with it.
Bohemia is the birthplace of music.
-ou have probably heard the old story
+ natural selection as practiced here.
When a male child is born-fenlales
ere as in other contin ntal countries
re only considered as utilities for the
ecessities and pleasures OF men-he is
nut down in the middle OF the floor AT I,
ne side of him is placed a bag of coin +.
nd on the other a Yic!ln. Ii he first {
caches for the fiddle, be is to be a i
lusician: if for the money, thief You 1
ee the young idea is not given much La
.titude. And it might be added. in Ii
Justification of this national superst-
ion, that the kid gen rally turns out La
. be one or the other if not both. To- ~
ay is the beginning of Lent, during Ii
hitch dancing is forbi lden, nor can I
ou play cards for money, but they put 8
ne clock back last night, for we saw il
laskers going home in broad daylight
ls morning. Balls usually last all
rht "a heavy dinner being served