West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-12-03
BROTHER GARDEMR.
he Gives Some More Coed Advice to
Coiored Mem at the Lime Kiln

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My friends. I has knowed pussons
In my time who wasn't satisfied wild
a big carp of beans an taters, but
had to turn back TO things a thou
sand years old an dispute an arge-
fy. Want to saysa few words to yo'
an l want 'em to sink seben feet
deep into yo'r soul.
Mebbe yo' has bin postin' up on
Noah an his ark fur instance, fur
de last fo'ty years, an yet yo' don't
know any mo- dan when yo'm sot
out. Yo' has simply found out dat
pusson named Noah built big
hatboat an dun called it an ark;
dat he got it finished jess befo' it
started to rain fur fo'ty days an
fo'ty nights: dat he took in birds an
beasts an floated aroun', an dat de
ark has got dat much outer de
Bible.
An yit, my friend, yo' has bin
settin' yo'rself up as authority ON
de bizzens, an bekase Brudder So
and-So wouldn't low dat 'possums
was token into de ark along wild
odder birds an beasts yo' have
hauled off an hit him on de chin fur
= fule.
Some possons let all de rest of
de Bible slide an bank on Noah
alone. Yo' may be one of SIGH.
IT so yo'll run along fur ten or fif-
teen years, bluffin' somebody most
cherry day, but about de time yo'
git to feelin' dat yo' own most of de
Garden of Eden yo'll run up agin a
darkey from Kentucky an he'll
likely bust yo'r twenty-six ribs in
befo' he stops Dustin
My advice to yo' am to let right
up on Noah, an to let dat ark go
foatin' right outer yo'r mind. 1t
don't make de least bit o. difference
to yo' whedder Noah took along de
'possum or dun forgot him in favor
OF de woodchuck. He may have
left de watermillyon out an taken
along de squash, but / don't see
how yo' am goin' to prove or dis
prove it. De fact stares us in de
face to-day dat we's got boat de
'possum an de watermillyon, an
what's de use or argefyin'2
dun believe daI was pusson
named Noah, an flood an an ark,
but ] don't go whoopin' round
about il in de daytime, nor rousin'
my nayburs up at midnight to
gin'em pinters. 1t was all right
fur Noah to build dat ark, an
what's de use of gittin' excited
about itr He dan got de animals
in de best way he could, an If he
made any mistakes we hadn't no
right to kick about il at dis late
day. De man who has got to git
up an argument bout sunthin' 6. 900
years old to show off his smartness
must be purity hard pushed fur ma
teriai.
My friend, yo' jess keep dat old
black wife o. yo'Ie in kaliker gowns.
an dem seben leetle niggers in meat
an Eaters, and yo1I be dom toler-
ably well fur one man. lie got
nayburs who cum ober to my cabin
an declaf dat Adam was cross
eyed an Eve red-headed. lie
gorem who stick up fur Cain an
say dat Abel whackcd him fust an
whacked him hard. lie gotten who |
want to bet a mewI agin my dawg |
dat Dan1 wasn't histed into de |
lions den, an dat Sampson couldn't |
lift $50 pounds o. sand to save his
neck. Does all SIGH talk affect de |
undersign1 Not on yo'r life.
When folks cum to me an want !
to talk bout Biblical matters let
'em talk away an keep right on
Goblin de ole woman's shoes less |
de same, l ginerally keep some
rsssparilly tonic sieepin' on de
stove, an while dey am doubtin'
! AZ de whale swallered Ionen. I'm