The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1903-05-17

h.
man
If this article, which is meant to be de-
I,clor,v light and playful, appears to you
to te rraught with an underlying varicose
vein Of gloom. do not hastily pass 1t by,
hr remember that its in the interest of
science. have Callied with luxury OF the
orient $50 called. Also remember that l
have contracted deep, sonorous cold,
which will, in all probability, fondly nestle
in my bosom till my ulster blooms again.
The prciminaries of the Turkish bath
are simple. You pay 81 at the door and
pa.- into the cooling room,' where the
mercury registers 0s degrees. The APP
nropriateness of this title does not burst
upon you until you have visited the inner
shrine, where the temperature il up near
the boiling point
In the cooling room" you are privileged
10 deposit your valuables in safe.
did not avail myself of this boon, how
ever, for reasons of a purely private nature,
b,l, passed at once into the ~disrobing
room
This room was not 40 large as to appear
drearv, not vet SO small as some have
lodged in on the Bowery. but was about
bv 4. The furniture was simple, yet
chaste, consisting OF chair and brush
and a comb long past their prime. Inc
comb was chained to the wall. but the brush
was permitted to roam at will.
Hastily divesting myself Of sealskins,
.Jaegers and other panoplies OF rank, l
arranged them in neat pile in the centre
Of the room and placed the chair upon
them. This simple precaution had learned
while occupying room separated from
its fellows by low partitions.
Your neighbor may be disciple OF lzaak
Walton, and during your sleep or absence
NAV take cast over the partition with
hook and line What could be more en-
barrassing than to have ones trousers
thus surreptitiously removed? l am
lover Of the gentle art myself, but l am
ever loath to be played for sucker.
WAS now ushered into the .hot room,'
where a number Of gentlemen were lolling
about and perspirng ahably and nuently
Being OF a timid, shrinking nature. l was
somewhat embarrassed on entering room
thus filed with strangers, and the more so as
I realized that my costume was too bizarre
spd striking for ono OF my willowy proper
tions. So I flung myself with an anectation
Of easy grace upon marble divan, but
immediately arose therefrom with vivid
blush and large blister. l then sat upon
A seething chair until came to boil, when
I rose up and endeavored to alleviate my
sufferings by restlessly pacing the room.
A few towels were scattered about. and
a. the nirnble channels leaps from crag
70 crag, 80 leaped from towel to towel In
my efforts to keep my feet of the red-hot
floor.
Having basked in this room until was
quite aglow, summoned tho attendant
and told him he could take me out at once
or wait yet little longer and remove me
through a hose. 1 then passed into the
manipulating room," where was laid out
on an unelastic marble slab like FOUND
drowned at the Morgue, and was taken
in hand by a muscular attendant, who
proceeded TO manipulate me with great
violence,
He began upon my chest upon which
he pressed until he lifted his feet on the
noor and my shoulder blades made dents
in the marble. | mildly asked II 1t was
absolutely necessary that my respiratory
organs should thus be fattened. to which
he replied with rich Turkish accent:
Come OF, young Teller, know my biz '
and swooped down upon my digestive
organs
Naturalization consists of disjointing, dis
membering. bruising and rending limb
from limb, and may he healthful. but 1t Is
not popular with me.
This man said he was pianist also. and
that he could manipulate and at the same
time strengthe his fingers and improve
hi. technique. and to illustrate he struck
a few Resembling chords in the small OF my
back and then proceeded to interpret Wag-
ner UP and down my vertebra, running
esAles, twiddlng up in the treble and thun-
heNng down in the bass. just as II we're
The keyboard h Steinway grand. an
illusion doubtless heightened by the ivory
whiteness Of my skin.
He wound up by playing that grand
show OF piece, the Battle OF Prague,
while | Joined in with the Cries OF the
Wounded 1t was a fine rendering, no
doubt, but next time l am TO be played upon
] shall ask for a soft andante movement-a
Chopin nocturne, say.
on CLOTHES.
or course, know something about clothes.
have always, in Difference to the tyranny
os fashion and a severe climate, worn
clothes, Not always such clothes as l
desired to wear, but still, by courtesy,
clothes.
When I was boy children we're not
pampered as they are now. Lii putlan
ha2aars we're infrequent. As a rule our
clothes had been worn previously by some
adu, relative of an entirely different style
Of architecture.
our mothers used to lay us on the floor,
mark around US with piece of chalk, and
h"w on, alleged garments from these hand
lue-downs. The results were serviceable
rather than natty,
| recollect appearing at school one day
in a silt carved out Of my unce's army
oyercoat entered with some misgivings
was received with enthusiasm. Re-
marks were made calculated to wound my
feelings.
In order to provide against habit had
of growing rapidly, tucks had been made IN
tn" trousers. intended to be let out from
time 10 time. The effect was more striking
and bizarre than fashionable.
1t was common gossip at the time that
army clothes were made OF shoddy-a poor
aimsy material. The gossip was unfo'nded
wv suit wore like iron.
tried to wear il out spent hours slid
ing down cellar doors and sitting in custard
NA~ -