The Savannah morning news., 1903-08-30
WOMAN'S WORLD

/ is generally addicted to the cakes and
ale or existence, but he feels that it
| would De Just dead easy for him to be a
| gentle patient, self-sacrifcing indus
trious, household angel if he we're only
| a woman.
Attention should be called in this con-
nection, however, TO the fact that when
! man thinks of himself as a woman II
! isn't as the ordinary, commonplace
j woman with whom he is most numer-
! ously acquainted. On the contrary, he
! pictures himself as a happy combina-
! ton OF beauty, wit and fascination that
| would make Venus and Minerva look
! like 30 cents. He isn't for a moment
/ contemplating himself as the twin sis
/ ter of the stout, middle-aged, double
/ ehinned lady who is the wife of his
bosom, and who is the living exponent
| of every earthly thing he wouldn't be
J if he were a woman.
IF l were a woman" says man,
! contemplating our weaknesses, our
frailties, our mistakes and our subter-
fuges from the nights of his own
rights and privileges, "if 1 were a
woman, l should be always young and
beautiful and eXquisitely dressed and
no matter how many years of matri-
mony l went through, L should pre-
serve all the illusions of the days of
courtship for my husband. Nobody
should be always calm, serene and gem
tie with temper so angelic that
nothing could ruffie it, and a voice so
soft and sweet it would never sound a
dlscordant note.
If L were a woman, 1 should be in
telligent enough to understand and APP
| preclate men, but not strong-minded
enough to know more than they do.
should be domestic enough to know
now 10 Keep a good table on next to
nothing, and to know how to make my
own frocks and hats so that my dear
est enemy wouldn't know they were
not imported, and 1 would devote nv
life to trying to keep the butcher bill
down to the very lowest notch.
II L were a wofan, l should always
meet my husband with a glad, sweet
smile, and when he staid out until 8
O'CLOCK IN the morning, l would put ice
cloths to his fevered brow next morn
ing and pity his poor, dear head for
aching so badly. When he flew into a
rage and said insulting things, I should
return gentle and soothing answer.
because would know he had been wor-
rled by business, and when he doled
out car fare 1 should thank heaven for
having bestowed upon me the blessing
OF husband instead of my having to
work for Il living.
II L were a women, l wouldn't be
|
be perfectly willing to stay at home
when my husband wanted me to, and
crazy to go out when he desired to go
anywhere, or I'd enjoy being left be-
hind when he preferred to go alone. I
wouldn't be vain like women are eth
er. 1 wouldn't spend my life primping
before the mirror and devote three
fourths of my time thinking about
clothes and I'd never, never gossip
| / q
into the world and compete with men
in business or the professions I'd be
a clinging vine that would wreathe it.
self about some man. Or, if l didn't
marry, l would be one of those pale
faced saints who live in other peoples
| families, and who spend such noble and
self-sacrificing Hives. There's really
! nothing a man admres as much as a
female martyr And I'd never want
any rights. Goodness, no! I'd be
thankful that 1 had men to vote for
me, and make laws for me, and a hus-
band to take possession of any proper
ty / had, and mortgage it, if he wanted
to, or collect my salary, if 1 was a
working woman, and blow it in without
troubling me about it.
IF l were a woman, I'd never go
through my husbands pocket, or read
his letters and I'd be perfectly happy
never to stir from my own fireside,
and l wouldn't want any amusement
more exciting than making a. nice pud-
ding my husband liked for dinner, and
putting the baby to sleep after a hard
days work. Oh, I'd be a regular hui
man peach, if I were a woman"
And the man really thinks he would!
Huh!
In the first place, if he were wom-
an, he wouldn't find that he could all
ways be young and beautiful for ma
ture works no miracles, and he would
grow old and fat, or sallow and scrawny,
just as women inevitably do with the
years. Nor under the stress of matri-
mony would he be able to keep up
the illusions of romance, for married
life isn't poetry. 1t is dead, cold, hard
facts-it isn't crystalized violets; it is
beefsteak and onions, and those who
get an occasional sugar plum thrown
in are playing in the biggest sort of
luck
} He would also find out, If he were a
woman, that you can't run a house
} without expense, any more than you
can work any other sort of a miracle,
and that the woman who can be in
tellectual and domestic, and fascinating
who can be a beauty and cook, and
seamstress, and an authority on poll
: tics at the same time, hasn't yet been
born outside of a mans imagination.
! And he would also ascertain that there
: is no other work in the world so aggra-
waiting and nerve-rasping and exhaust
ing as dealing with incompetent serv-
ants, and unreasonable children, and
that anybody who has spent the night
walking a teething baby does not come
: down to breakfast next morning in a
spirit calculated to make them turn the
: other cheek to the person who makes
sarcastic remarks about the steak be-
ing leather and the coffee slop.
: Moreover, if he were woman, he
| might find that there was the best rea-
son in the world for his not being a
clinging vine. 1t does one no good to
be adhesive by nature unless there is
/ something to cling to, and as mere
: matter of statistics there are not
t enough husbands to go around. No
/ man worth his salt would go and sit
down on somebody else to support him,
' and so, if he was a woman he would do
a lust like other women are doing. If
= ANYBODY he wanted asked him to marry
5 him. he would refuse to become de-
> pendent on some relatives bounty and
t start out to make a living the best he
, could. He would know that the bread
! of charity is Just as bitter in wom-
a ans mouth as it is in a mans.
, A. Co., haliaUinQ that If he were