davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
A SANDER.

Mrs. Cobwigger tat the opera) -
There's that Mrs. Lowcutte in the box
to the right. I think her gown is per-
fectly indecent.
Mrs. Malaprop-So it is. my dear.
But what lies are told about her! Her
husband once said that every cent he
could scrape together she put on her
back.-New York Herald.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
English Manners.

An English i%nnkeeper was found III
bed one morning with his throat badly
cut. why did you do it?" they asked.
He replied: For amusement. had
nothing else TO do"
This chimes in curiously with an old
French epigram on English manners
and customs:
Here lies Sir John Plompcdding OF the
Grange.
Who hung himself sne morning for q
change,
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
T,n,. Real Condition.

The teacher of grammar and rhetoric
wrote a sentence on the blackboard
and then called upon William.
.jolin eau ride the horse If he wants
TO-" read the teacher. 'Rewrite the
sentence IN another form"
William surveyed it obviously for a
moment: then a fash of inspiration
showed linn his path.
'John can ride the horse if the horse
wants him to-" he wrote.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
Nnt Enrrntten.

DR.. Man Salters-And so you still re-
member that lecture / delivered in your
town fifteen years ago. Well. Pm very
glad indeed to meet you.
Hi Titefist-Yep. ] paid a dollar for
two tickets TO that show and didn't git
to use EN-. ! didn't know but as how
you mout take 'em off my hands. Here
they be.-Kansas City journal.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
His shadx obserration.

Miss Jones Ito Mr.. Brown, who has
survived three wives)-They must get
kind of mixed up in heaven with SO
many Mrs. Browns about.
Mr.. Brown-Oh, o / calculate not.
You see. row, they're ali different
shades of Brown.-Life.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
Imagination,

"Don't you find literary work a great
tax on your imaginationl"
'HYes," answered the author. II keep
on imagining that every book write
is going to be a hit and make a for
Observation-Disclosures Star.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
A Mystery.

A very small boy was watching his
nother sew whalebones in her dress.
What are they, MAJ" he asked.
"Bones." she replied.
"WhoseT" continued the little fellow.
milne she answered.
He regarded her a minute in amaze
ment and then asked solemnly, How
did you get EN- out ~
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
Advance Notice.

Maude-What a story teller you are!
You told me you going to marry
Mr.. Catcherly, and he says he never
heard of it.
Carrie-Of ourse he hasn't. 1t was
only last night that I made up my mind
to get him to propose.-Boston Evening
Transcript.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
A Failure.

eyes. I consider my life a failure"
"0h, Henry, how sad! Why should
you say that?"
IL spend all my time making money
enough to buy food and clothes, but
the food disagrees with me, and my
clothes don't fit"
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
a Bareain counter Hu,band.

Il don't think it's a nice thing to say
of Mrs. Odsent that she got her hus-
band at q bargain counter.
ooh, but it's true. He was the young
man that saved her life in a crush at a
glove sale at Spotcash's n day.
Chicago Tribune.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
Enough Said.

Lady Ito pretty applicant Yes, I
want a cook. But why. did You leave
your last place?
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES the head of the
house kissed me, ma'anl.
Lady-And you objected, Ell?
Observation-Disclosures wife did,;
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
y Wiser.

Jerry--Is the world getting better?
Jack-It's getting wiser. have an
awful time trying to borrow money
Detroit Free Press.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
postal FLAG pesInn.

The postofice department is about
to adopt q flag ~emblenahc of the pos
tai department. If something simple
and unmistakable is wanted a few
mail sacks might be cut up into
squares.-Omaha Bee.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17

1t is the opinion of the cynical bach
don was q rib. -Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1903-04-17
SPRINGS llI lie WORRY.

HHaH
I want a nice Two story house,
Built on the comfort plan
Just big enough 10 hold in style
One woman and one man;
] want a frescoed little hall:
| q a winding stair;
1want h very soul Of ease
Pervading everywhere.
! want six rootns--no.rnore. no less
And one room for the bath;
! want some PLASTER that Will stick
To every single lath:
] w2ct q nice big washroom and
a dining room that's light,
And every window In the house
Must be set good and tight.
/ want-1ow. let me see-ah, yes,
i want the faarlor small,
With room fer chairs, q sofa and
Piano-tkat is all: b
I want the kitchen fixed just SO;
! want it trim and neat,
With places for the Kitchen ware
And coolers for the meat
I want a middle room upstairs.
To be my very own
"A back room where. In thinking mend,
III mediate alone.
And whenI I've thought my diagram
All out and nicely flledftt
I'll bet I'll never find a man
To undertake to build 1t.
Baltimore News.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
FOR US
Dr.. Jordan Will Advocate
 Territorial Government.

Dr. David Starr Jordan is strongly in favor of territorial government for Alaska. While in Skagway and elsea where in Alaska he was studying tho social and political conditions, as well as the fisheries question, and he quick ly arrived at the conclusion that the district is ready for self-goyernment. He scouts the idea that there is not sui- ficient wealth in the district to main. tain such government, and he says there is not the shadow of a doubt but that the population and wealth produc- tion of Alaska will continue to grow for centuries to come.
 Dr. Jordan said that he would make 1t point to speak to the president on the matter and urge with all his ability the creation of territorial govern ment. He and the president are per sonal friends.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
HAYNES THREATFDFD WITH
 DESTRUC TON
VIZ Flames of Forest Fires Are Eating Their Way Into the Town-Dalton Sawmlu Is
 Probably In Ashes.
E

ing the blaze into fury, shall have continued until this morning, it Is sure that the entire population of the army post town Is out by now fighting the flames for their homes.
 Halnes itself is shrOuded in impena- trable gloom. The smoke hangs down like a pail over the city and it Is impos- sible to see across the street. The roaring of the flames from the town Is said 10 be something terrible.
 When the Flosie left last night, the Dalton sawmill was entirely surround ed with the flames and they were work ing in toward the mill with a speed that boded no good for the property.
 It was believed last night that the houses that were on the outskirts of the town, and the Indian village would certainly be destroyed.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
BEST.WAY
 eegI1C - ''.d
Cl timed That Dalton Trail
 Should Be Usel

The cheapest and quickest way to the new strike in the Tahkeena lies via Haines, according to those who have been over that route. Yesterday a man arrived at Haines who had tra- versed nearly the entire distance, and to Capt. Percy Hunting, of the Viral Rial, he said:
 "The whole distance from Haines to the new strike on the Alsek river is approximately ll6 miles. Leaving Haines the Dalton trail is followed from Murphy Flat, where J. D. Hop kins operates a ferry across the Chil- kat river. Hopkins uses a scow large enough for any number of horses that parties may bring. If the stampeders are afoot the stream can be forded cas- fly at any place near Hopkins road house.
 From there the Dalton trail Is used to Rainy Hollow, distance of 55 miles. At Rainy Hollow the new government trail goes directly to the new strike
 "Both trails are in excellent condi' tion for horses or people on foot"
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23

The H,tle town oi Haines Is threat encd with destruction from the furious forest fires that are raging in that neighboorhood 10 is more than likely that Che Dalton sawmill Is in ashes be- fore this time. The Indian town was iu imminent danger ot being complete ly wiped out, and danger lurked in the air tor Che whole settlement when the Flo>ic I,f' there last night.
 North of the town the entire woods arc ou 6rc from the waters edge back into th6 iorc,, ior a great distance. The flame [, rapidly eating its way to- ward che town. licking up everything oi am iuramablc character iu its path. Great spruce trees last only a second after being attacked. It the north wind. which sprung up last night, fam
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
'WHTF PASS AGAIN GOES
 DOWN IN DEFEAT
skagway Boys Play Brilliant Ball But Fall Ju<t Short of Victory Was Best Game
 Eyer Played On Dawson Diamond.

Special Dispatch to Daily Alaskan
 Dawson, July 22.-Tho W. P. X r. R. team was defeated this evening by the Amaranthes of this city, in Che greatest game of baseball played on a Dawson diamond this season, by score ofsto2. The visitors team was most ly made up from the skagway players and they, as we'll as the home 'eam, put up brilliant ball. The home team had one inning to spare.
 For the Amaranthes, Hobson scored on passed ball, and Douse and Kerr uedy got in on errors.
 For the w. P. & Y. R., Bmrager scored on a three bagger by Pinneo' and Mcintyre on two bagger by Bar rager.
 Both Of the White Pass runs were earned, while the three White Pass errors gave the game to Dawson. The visitors made three hits to seven for the home team.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
ON RIVER
Yukoner and Mary
 Graf Arrive.

Special Dispatch to Daily Alaskan
 Whitehorse, July % The Yukoner arrived at 10 o'clock with a few passen. gers. She will sail on the return trip Friday night.
 The Mary Graf win arrive at ll:3C o'clock.
 The Selkirk sailed out at 9:3O o'clock this evening with 35 passengers.
 The whitehorse is looked for before Friday morning. She will probably sail Saturday night.
 The Dawson and the Victorian are ai Dawson today.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
AT SEATTLE
Bodies of NOme's Fire Vie
 tins Get Down.

Special Dispatch to Daily Alaskan
 seattle, July 22.-The Oregon ar rived from Nome today with the bodies of Mir and Mrs. R. NJ. Hayes and Sher' man Griggs, the victims of the Goldep Ga,e hotel fire on board.
 The oregon had a quarterof amillion dollars in gold on board, all from tho Nome district.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
ca Way to wisOOs'in

The remains Of Bud Harkin, who was drowned in Whitehorse rapids on May :, were brought over on the train last night and will be taken to his old home in Wisconsin for burial. Mrs. Harkin came over in charge of the corpse and will accompany 1t East.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
BIG TIME
Irish People Give King and
 Queen Great Reception.

Special Dispatch to Daily Alaskan
 Dublin, July 22.-King Edward and Queen Alexandra arrived here today. They were warmly greeted by the pop ulace. The city Is beautifully deco rated and all clements appear to be cor dial in their reception of the royal guests.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
Prise Fight Postponed

The fight between Choynski and Bur ley at Dawson will take place next Monday night, July 27. It was sched uled for July 2l, but afterward post poned. IzlI.-
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
ELKS THERE.
Seven Thousand of Antlered
 Herd in Line.

Special Dispatch to Daily Alaskan.l
 Baltimore, July PA great con course of Elks has gathered at the grand annual convention of that order now in session at this place. Seven thousand Elks were In the parade ,o- day.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
Sunday seAsol Picnic We. sao0s..

The picnic given by the Presbyterian Sunday school yesterday was huge success. There were l2O persons on the grounds and everything went of smoothly.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
Vira Rial on Excursion

The vira Rial ran a big excursion yesterday from Haines to the trout fishing grounds. Today she will bring the fishers back. il' '~ s@S
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23

Summary-Earned runs,by w. P. x Y. .,2. Struck out by Gault, 2; by Brazier, {. Bases on balls, of Gault, l. Passed balls, Mcintyre. l. TwO-base hit, Barrager. Three-base hit, Pinneo. Sacrifice hits, Barry and Phelps.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
sAOs.l shOs.l shOs.i

Just received a fine line of gents ladies' and children's shoes. Prices most reasonable, at w. H. Robertson's.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23

"Its Up to You" "The Girl Propo- sition,n and other funny books at Skag- way Newsletter.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23

First class in every respect New Arctic Cafe. Whuchorse, Y. T.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
ICE FOR SALE

40 Che Monogram Liquor House in large or small quantities. o-ls-tL
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
Boxes oP,n to the Public

The boxes up stairs in the Board oi Trade Cafe arc now open Co the public.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23

Boys lisle thread bicycle hose, 25' per pair, at w. H. Robertson's. tf
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
Occidental Hotel

Rooms at 25c, soc, 75c, sl.OO and s2.OO per day, and from sl0 Co sl5 per month.
 JOHN WILLIAMS, Prop.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
rOv.has.nlDus

The Topeka had not been heard from up to the time of going to press last night. She will no doubt arrive some time today.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
Hs,t Meal in Alaska for 35 csnts

Have you tried the Merchants Lunch at Board of Trade Cafe, from ll;3O 6. m. to 2p. m. Laa ra.lat.A.I-
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
Good Old whisky

old Planet and old Belmont, re-im- ported, both l2 years old, at Mascot sa- loon.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23

The finest porcelain bath tubs at the Principal barbershop. Opposite the Board of Trade.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23

Earl & Wilson's collars and cuffs at Conway's.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23

X belt. between Tenth avenue and Moore wharf Return Co this once and receive reward.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23

Get prices at Royal Laundry for 'amily work, special rates in rough iry, next to new electric plant.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
HOrss for Sale

Good saddle and pack horse. In- quire Of II. Fay, Haines, Alaska. lw
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23
Board OfTrads Cafe

Communication tickets at the Board of Trade Cafe, S5.5O for @.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23

Most reasonable, far the best, New Arctic Cafe, Whitehorse, Y. T.
The daily morning Alaskan., 1903-07-23

Lunches 5Oc, II a. m. to 4 p. m, New Arctic Cafe, Whitehorse, Y. T.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-15

leered at the Salvation army girl, CAS-
Pierp Morgan 'erd about hit?
She Finds Champion.
The crowd laughed drunkenly. The
barkeeper took the opportunity to
shake his fist again at the girl.
The little man spied him and shook
his head reprovingly.
"Williyum," he said gravely, "this
ere beer mug is 'eavy. but Amt a
lookin' fer trouble an I'm lot goin'
to throw it at no ones head if no one
hinterferes with tn ladies'"
Suddenly the Salvation army girl
dropped on her knees and began TO
pray earnestly. For a second the little
man regarded her in a puzzled fashion
and then he began to seek feebly in
the pocket of his dilapidated coat. Fin
ally he drew forth a soiled rag of
handkerchief and began to wipe his
eyes. But as soon as she had conclud-
ed he put 1t away and jumped nimbly
from the table. Taking off his cap he
waved it in front of the crowd
We hall are goin' to contriboot to this
good cause, gentlemen" he said ''and
were goin' to begin ere with Williyum.'
the crowd had taken up the matter as a
good joke and "WiIliyum" was forced to
obey its biddings. Each one contributed a
coin and then the little man with
wagering bow extended tho cap to the
girls. Now, my dear" ne concluded
as the army lassies moved toward the
door take my hadvice. DcI't lot Pierp
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-15
How a Salvation LaSSie
Sells Her Stock of Papers

A clustering wind swept down Sew
enth street. 1t was still early in the
morning, not quite o'clock, but the
icy blast found many to annoy. 1t
tweaked impudently the skirts of early
shoppers, and it puffed it's chilling
breath in the faces of belated working
men and working women, and it red
dened the noses and nipped the fingers
of scurrylng school children. Finally
1T caught a glimpse of two Salvation
Army lassies who appeared in the bend
of the street-just in time to face the
wind that was about to take an inquisi-
tive peep around the corner. 1t snorted
Indignantly at the sight, for there are no
feathers to disturb in Salvation Army
bonnetS, and there are no streamers or
draperies to flutter in the tightly but
toned Salvation Army coats and capes.
So the wind contented Itself with red
dening the healthy English skin of one
of the Salvation lassieS and turning to
faint purple the pinched face of the
other, and then is scurried off to find
something that promised better fun.
'Now, hall you've got to do" said
the English lassie to her companion,
as she tucked her package of War
Crys closer under her arm, Ibis to
keep close to me. Well visit all the
s'loons III this street, beginning with
the next block. Hits always ard at
first for the recruits. but you'll see
there hisn't anything so unpleasant
habout hit
do we go in the front door?" asked
the "racroot" timidly.
Straight in the front door" answer
ed her companion sturdiIy, "and ere
we hare now"
Boldly she put her hand on the dis
creetly curtained glass door, and in
second she and the "recroot' We're
standing in the warm, clean room. Be
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-15

hind the bar a fat man with q very jo-
vial face was fastening on a clean
white apron. A coIored man was
busily busting the bar itself which
shone under the brisk rubbing he gave
1t. No one else was in the saloon.
The 'recroot" was conscious of the
pleasant glow, the result of the change
from the chilling bleakness outside to
the warmth and cleanliness inside
Then, because she was a sincere ere
croot," she shuddered at the iniquity
that could enjoy such glow.
6arkeep Is Jovial.
Good morning, girls" said the man
behind the bar, jovially
lish lassie, politely. "Will you buy q
War Cry?" and she held a paper out
to him.
"a War Cry? Well, now, L didn't
know as how there was any war going
on" answered the fat man facetiously.
rs 1t them there Britishers as have
come over to gobble up these free and
United States?"
The English lassie's brown eyes
flashed, but she answered gravely,
Hits the message of salvation. Will
you haccept it?"
DO you know, young woman, that
I've been acceptin' Of the message of
salvation ever since you first showed
that little blue bunnit O. yours into
that there door % The barkeeper waved
his hands dramatically toward the door
that lead into the saloon. 'Ev'ry week
the ashman carts away a pile o. the
messages of salvation?" An here I
amt saved yet" The fat man groaned
tragically.
You must believe and repent" an
swered the army lassie solemnly. with
out repentance there is no salvation"
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-15

panion made their way out of the sa-
loon.
What's to Become Of Them?
Hits the young men what make me
feel worse, said the English lassie, as
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-15

the two Army girls proceeded on their
way up the street, low are they to
be saved when they spend han there
time in places like that, and what's
to become of them?"
AS the Army girls paused in front Of
the next saloon door an unctuous tenor
voice f1oated out to them. Opening
the door they stepped inside. Up near
the bar on small deal table stood a
little man, his hat cooked rashly over
one eye, his unkempt clothes looking
as he had slept in them. In one hand
he held heavy beer glass, and he
was beating time gravely with this as
he sang. About him stood an appre-
c1at1ve crowd. Even the bar tender
leaned far over the bar to catch the
song.
There's them that's 'ot an 'aughty
There's them that's cold an ard.
But there comes a night when the
best gets tight
And then"
The bleary- eyed little man caught
a glimpse of the Salvation Army las
sizes and the song died away weakly.
Mornin' ladies'" he called out wav-
Ing his beer mug Hospitality. But the
bar tender. catching sight of them,
shook his fist threateningIy. Get out
of this" he called fiercely.
"Williyum, Williyum," interfered the
little man CALAMITY, that hain't no
way to dress tn ladies. Step hup,
ladies, an don min TIL gentleman.
Gentleman's bark worse 'ern is bite.
Wot'n you ave, ladies?''
viii you buy War Cry?" said the
English lassie, advancing bravely.
"An' wat is 'er War Cry, m'dear?"
hiccoughed the little man, sitting down
on the table and folding his arms with
judicial air.
1T tells you salvation is free, sir
answered the girl earnestly.
Salvation Free" unused the little
man. Gentlemen. this 'er girl is tell
IN of hus that salvation is free S'elp
me, hits the first thing hive struck
that's free in this ere bloomin' world.
Tell me, nl'dear," he leaned over and
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-02-15

at seems to me-" said the barkeeper
with an elaborate wink at the shrink
"recroot," that / must buy and re-
pent. Well, here you are added, hand
ing over coin and accepting the pa
pers, "and good luck to you."
Hit wasn't SO awful, was hit?" ask
ed the English lassie of the "recroot"
as they once more faced the chilling
wind outside. In Hingland where l
peddled the War Crys for a year some
times they threw beer at us and some
times they'd lock us up in cellars, but
ere in this country they most always
treat you pretty nice"
They Get a Frost.
The next saloon they visited "busi-
ness" was more brisk. The man behind
the door was not at all jovial-looking
and he frowned blackly as he caught
a glimpse of the Salvation Army
lassies. Two men standing in front
of the bar looked at them curiously,
but neither they nor the barkeeper re-
sponded when the English lassie said,
Wont you buy War Cry?" Over In
one corner three young men, with blood
shot eyes and sodden faces was watch
ing fourth do some tricks with cards.
The more experienced Salvationist
walked over to where the young men
were standing and the "recroot" fol-
lowed timidly in her wake.
Boys" began the English girl SOL
EMMY, don't you know that God is
looking down on you this morning
hand don't you know that e is grieving
and sorrowing to see you ERE in this
rum shop?"
The young men shuff1ed awkwardly
and the one with the cards giggled In
embarrassed fashion.
Hand your mothers, boys. Hif
they're alive don't you suppose they're
prayin' for you and 'opin' that you'll
brace hup hand repent"
The group shuff1ed away a little from
the little exhorter but she followed
them.
Now, boys" she finally concluded,
me hand Private Mcclure are agoin'
to pray for you, hand hif you'll join in
God may stir your carts to repent
ance."