Waterbury Democrat., 1903-01-17
HE HAD THE MONEY.
gid 1t to Fool His Wife ana Forget Where Tt Was When He Be-
 came Sober.

of some men who occasionally find themselves considerably more than half seas over is a phenomenon pf which there are innumerable Instances. A certain Washington citizen of more than fair av- craze sobriety afforded one of the Instances only couple of weeks az relates the Star.
 This man took an afternoon
 from his business and went out
 the Benning races on the first d, of the final week of the meeting. was his first visit to the track sine the beginning of the meeting. Mirac- ulously enough, he won some money | considerably more than $100- Ii was so miraculous that he felt that he would never experience another days luck on earth if he failed to celebrate the extraordinary event. 1 So he celebrated. He celebrated so effectually that when he got home along towards midnight (to with stand as best he could, of course, his wife's reproaches) he had only $6o of his winnings left.
 After she had relieved herself of the due and proper quota of re- 1 breaches necessary in the circum- stances, the mans wife went down l stairs to close up the house for the night. Then the man, who was in 1 just the shape that man always l gets into who unwisely celebrates, developed his foxiness. Unto him. 1 self he reasoned:
 ''In my right hand trousers pocket ! I've got $60 pure velvet. All right. I want to maintain my personally conducted clutch on that $6o. But I l can't maintain any kind of a clutch at all on it if permit it to remain in my right hand trousers pocket. I'll no sooner fall into the deep, rest full slumber as of little che-ild than l my true and faithful wife will pro- ceed to go through my clothing, in accordance with her invariable and instinctive custom under circum- stances like those of the present- She VII grab out the $6o' and never say a word about it, and I'll have forgotten about what I did with 1t myself when I wake up tomorrow l morning, and she'll be in undisputed I possession of my $60 to blow in on l hats and boas and whole lot of un- necessary truck like that. Vairy, vairy we'll. I'll just fool her up few. I'll just take this little $6o wad l and place the same behind this cute little picture on the wall. So. There's the $60 behind the picture. And, to, provide against my forgetting what of hot Ia proceed to make little memoran- dunn in my notebook. An, here's my pencil. I'll just write down herc,- Dough is behind the picture and when I see that entry in my little I notebook I'll be just $50 to the good and she'll be fooled up quite heap"
 He barely had time to get the money behind the picture hanging on the wall over the bed and to make the little entry in his notebook be- ! fore his wife, having closed up the house, entered the room and resumed the reproaches, mentioning few that she had overlooked and remem- bered while downstairs. Presently he fell into a sound slumber. He never knew whether his wife went through his clothing or not after he, fell asleep, but he considers it high 1 ly probable that she did.
 When the man woke up, sheepish and hang-dog, the next morning, he remembered the money he had won on the day before at the track, but there was a good deal of a blank after he returned to the city from the l track. He remembered not thing of the S6O he had when he returned home. The memory of having placed it behind the picture did not abide with him at all. When he asked his wife to go downstairs and get him a cup of coffee he jumped up and went through his clothes in great hurry. He found 40 cents in change. and nothing else. He asked his wife when she returned upstairs hcw 4 much money he had when he re- l turned home, and she regarded him \ with an aggrieved stare when she told him that the sum total of his cash had been 40 cents in silver.
 "Well," the man unused, as he rode down town to business in the car. Eff my true and loving spouse didn't get what money I had left of that winning then I must have spent a heap down town last night, or else I was touched. It's one or the other. However, we'll forget it. ought to have 30 days in jail, anyhow, for not keeping the dough I got from those bookmakers; it hasn't been often I've hit them in recent years, heaven 1 knows"
 It was only two days ago that, in running over his notebook, he came 1 upon that queer scrawl, Dough is I behind the picture" It perplexed him for a few minutes, and he ] scratched his head and gazed at it and wondered over it. The handwrit- ing was pretty rocky, and when he l took that fact into account the whole thing came back to him. He remen- bered having put the $6o behind the l picture.
 1 When he went home that evening