Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-01-17
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yer amer. What time does yer amer
get up?"
Pat-An' so yez shtruck fer shorter
hours? Mike-Yis. We want each
wan TO consist av forty minutes, be-
gorry!-Puck.
Didn't you hear the doorbell, Brid-
get?' Yes, num-" well, why didn't
you answer it?" II did answer 1t;
said oh, fudger num-"
Mist-ess-Can you draw this fowl,
Bridget? Bridget (who has been
brought up on praties and buttermilk)
No, mum! Oh can't WROTE, let alone
draw!
Stella-I came near missing a pro,
posal last night Bella-You did?
Stella-Yes. He got down on his
knees, and l thought he was merely
looking for ping-pong ball. Harper's
Bazaar.
observation-disclosures, see you are
here again. | believe You have been
tried and convicted seven times for
stealing. Rastus-Yes, jedge, 1t seems
to be muffin but trials and temptations
wiz me in dis life.
Mamma" cried little Willie from
the bathroom, please get me another
sponge" why, what's the matter
with the one you have?" asked the
mother ITS full of holes, and leaks
awfully," was the reply.
Borem-'I'm something of a mind.
reader" Miss Hlttem-'Indeedr'
Borem-"Yes; can usually tell at a
glance what a person thinks of me-"
Miss Hntem--"Wonderfu But don't
you find it awfully embarrassing
Eaokkeeper--I would like little
more salary, sir. You see, Pm married
now, add. Employer--And need
the Increase for your family? Book
keeper-No, sir; for myself. You see,
my wife knows just what I'm getting
now,
Schoolmaster-"W is the meaning
of one-twenty-ffth" Boy-"I--I don't
remember" Schoomaster-'1 you
had twenty-five friends visiting you,
and only one apple for them. what
would you do?' Boy-"Id wait till
they'd gone and then eat IT myself"
Tommy has been making study of
| etiquette. When his little sister was
| opening the door to leave the nursery
he pulled her back by the hair and
elbowed her out of the way. Don't
you know, you ignorant little thing"
he said, Indignantly, that It's gentle
mans place TO open the door for a
ladyT'
Miss Mug--I don't understand how
your sister failed to find me at the
station. You said you would describe
me to her. infatuated Lover (who
sees II good deal more In Miss Mug
than other folks cam-Yes, / told her
10 look for n beautiful girl, with the
face Of q Madonna and the form OF
sylph. It's queer she missed you.
"Ahr' he said as they were explor.
ing among the rocks back of the hotel,
here is Lovers Lane. Let's go
! through" THAT deep place there,
where it is so dark, with the steep,
rocky sides?" Yes Come on"
I'm afraid you would kiss me If we
were down there alone together" mo.
! honest" "Well then we may as well
remain up here
Mrs. Winks-A peddler was here to.
| day, and got the greatest bargain--a
whole pound Of insect powder for only
ten cents, 1t looks just like dirt, but
it's awfully effective, | tried It. Mr.
Winks-W Worked eh? Mrs Winks--
Yes. indeed The peddler said | should
put little In water and apply IL boil
ing hot, and | did, and 1t killed every
insect ii touched.-New York Weekly.
Johnny (who Is jealous OF mammal
Mamma likes me better than she does
you" Evelyn (who enjoys teasingl--
Why, no, Johnny, Of course she loves
Betty and me best! Just think, she was
eur mother long before she was yoursw
Johnny (scornfully)--"Huh, what of
that? You are nothing but sample
copy, anyhow! And Betty's only a trial
subscription! But I'm the real thingr'
Life.
"IIave you seen Mrs. Connyshaw's
wonderful collection of old china 2"
Yes" replied Mrs. Fussllove, Il have;
and can't say that # gives me a good
opinion of the Connyshaws' social posi-
ton" Dear mep said the other lady.
How Is thatf" We'll, you see" ex-
planned Mrs. Fussilove, they cane
ever have kept many servants, or they
would never have had all that china
unbrokenw
You, boy" exclaimed the colored
woman, what is you gwIneter do VIII
dat watermillionf The urchin looked
surprised for moment, then grieved
and then scornful. Placing his burden
Of sweetness on the curbstone, he re-
p ed: rs gwlneter Kit can o vahn'
sh an vahnish It; den rs gwlneter git
yahd o red ribbon an tic aroun' IL
! an hang 1t to de chandelier in de pah-
| Tor foh Ornament SOS we kin look
at it an enjoy ourscrfs while ives eat