The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1903-09-09
SOME BILL ARP" STORIES.
Eli Perkins Gives Sketch of. the
Great Humorist, Who Died Last
Week.


In the Kings of Platform and
Pulpit Eli Perkins writes the fol-
lowing breezy Introduction, rehearsing
some interesting stories of Bill Arp in
presenting one of his lectures:
The whole life OF Bill Arp has been
humorous, and no man will stop work
quicker and more cheerfuliy than he
% hear good joke When / asked
him one day If he really ever killed
many Yankees, he said:
Wells / don't want to boast about
myself, but I killed about as many OF
4hem as they did of me. =
8 Speaking Of pensions one day, Mr.
Arp said every Yankee soldier ought
TO have pension.
But they were not all injured In
The army. were they9'' I asked.
Yes, they all did SO much hard
lying about rs poor rebels that they
strained their consciences. -
Bill Arp tells of an occurrence in
New York when he came here 80 lee
lure In Chickering hall. He said he
was standing on the steps of the Astor
House one afternoon with a friend
when S man with a decidedly military
bearing hobbled up. He greeted my
friend as he passed.
That's fine soldierly looking
chap, I said.
Yes; he'sa veteran Colonel Jones,
Of the g. a.. R.''
Did he lose his leg on the battle
ields,
Yes; at Gettysburg. . :
All. Repelling Pickett's charge, I
No q monument fell on it. 80
They tell this story in Rome, Ga,
about the major. They say that in
the summer OF 1863 Bill Arp was in
the Richmond hospital. The hospital
Was crowded with sick and dying sol
diers, and the Richmond ladies visited
It daily carrying with them delscacies
of every kind, and did all they could
10 cheer and comfort the suffering.
On onss occasion pretty miss of SIX
teen was distributing flowers and
speaking gentle words of encourage
ment to those around her, when she
overheard soldier exclaim, Oh my
Lord !" Is was Bill Arp.
Stepping to his bedside to rebuke
him for his profanity, she remarked :
g Didn't I hear you call upon the
name Of the Lords ] am one OF his
daughters. Is there anything I can
ask him for yous'
Looking up into her bright, sweet
face, Bill replied g / don't know but
you could do something for me If l
wasn't married.
Well, !" said she, what is it?''
Raising his eyes to hers and extend
ing his hand, he said: AS you are a
daughter Of the Lord, if wasn't mar
ried, I'd get you to ask Him if He
wouldn't make me His son-in-l law. !"
Major Andrews, a Yankee captain,
was telling some jolly rebs IN Georgia
about his experience at Bull Run.
The only time that I ever really
felt ashamed in my life was in that
Buil Run battle,'' said the major.
g MY horse fell under me, and I was
obliged to ride an army mule during
the rest Of the engagement, and he
faally carried me clear into the rebel
lines.
8 Yes T remember the incident
Well.', said Bill Arp, who was stand
ing by, I found that Eule with q.
S. brand on him the next day after
the battle.
s1sss You did, really?'' said the major,
hardly expecting to be corroborated so
promptly Where did you find him?:''
asked the major.
Bill saw that there was no door
wide open as he replied, Stone dead
behind a rail fence. =
Shot?n
{. No; modification. =