West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1903-06-18
DOWSER'S MAY APPLES.
He Makes a Little Mistake aud Is Set
Right.

ning, but when l read such items as this
wonler IL the writer IS fool OF a isnaiie.
What is i,P naturally asked Mrs. Bowser
Why il says ,ha, a little girl in Ohio Who
was gathering May sppies in the woods pu,
her hand on snake and vent into FITS and
died Of fright.
well9
Well in the hist place May apples do not
Nv in the woods aud in the next the snakes
Of The United States do no, climb rees. 10
the girl was after the frui, she was up tree
and II she had hi she would have fallen.
II Is wonder that such asnlne items are
allowed in print.
Did You ever see MAY Spples growing on
,reesl quietly asked Mrs Bowser
Where else did | ever see them growing9
OF course they grow on trees. DO you
imagine they roost ON picket fences1
My recollection of them is that they grow
on vines aud they arc generally found in old
pastures or elearipgs in the forest, The
little girl spoken of was probably on her
knees en- the ground.
Your reeollections don't nmoun, to putty.
was gathering May apples before you was
born. They grow on trees and you will
generally lind three or four trees together.
Didn't fall out of May apple tree when
was II years old and break my lee3
Mrs. Bc~ser should have dropped the
subject right there aud le, Mr.. Bowser 20 on
hugging his delusion but she didn't. She
was impoli,e enough 10 say:
My dear you are thinking Of thorn apples
or crab apples or something else. May
apples certainly grow on vines something
like strawberry vines. l gathered them
hundred times as girl.
Thorn applesl Crab applesl shouted Mr..
Bowser as he rose to his feet with his face
growing red. Woman have become
drivelhng idiotf Don't know enough TO
20 out to the gate and backl In one horr
can show you hundred trees loaded with
May apples but you wouldn', know EN-
from eocoanuts or pumpkins.
The family cat purred and the family
clock licked and there was an interval of
suspense. Then hIrs. Bowser said:
Perhaps ] am mistaken so let us say no
more about il. Did you see about the oil.
cloth for the kitchen table today1
Don't try to oilcloth me, he suikiiy re-
torted. You have made certain statements
here. want you 10 prove them or apollo
gize, may be in my dotags and perhaps
don't know washing machine from bob.
tailed dog but am going to have this May
apple question settled before sleep Do
they grow on vines OF lfeesp
What do we care where they grow1 They
are nothing TO us.
They are everything TO us and care If
you don't. want an answer to my question.
Let it go tonight.
Never. ! wan, TO know whether I am
the biggest jackass in America or still have
some sense in my head. is il vines or irees7
Mrs. Bowser had walked into the trap and
must take the consequences but when driven
TO !, she replied lha, May apples grew on
vines and she could prove il.
Now let me tell you something, said Mr..
B3wser. after long glare at her. One of
us don't know enough to pound sand. II
J, turns out to be me then I'll go to the idiot
asylum tomorrow.
But where are you going uow1 she asked
as he started down the hall.
To investigate matters. II II becomes
necessary Iii go 10 miles into tho country
and pull up May apple tree by the roots
and bring it back TO show you
Mr. BoWsers family butcher came from
the country ana has always continued in
touch with il and it was likely that he knew
all about May apples. When questioned
on the subiec, in careless way he replied !:
May aPples1 Why my dear man every
six ear old child iu the country knows what
they are.
How tall are the trees they grow on9
cautiously asked Mr. Bowser
How tell are the trees pumpkins and
squashes grow on1 laughed the butcher.
You arc not foolish enough to think that
May apples grow on trees I hope. You
mean vines don't your
No sir. mean trees. know they grow
on trees.
Then mandrakes and leeks must grow In
| your hat You are on false trail and had
better give II up. Night ask the plumber
though. lie owns a farm yet believe.
Mr.. Bowser asked the plumber whether
he had any May apple trees on his farm and
the man Of solder looked at him in curious
way and replied:
No not any. II ! had should present
them to museum. When May apples take
10 growing on trees shall expect 10 see
corn growing on vines. You'd better 90
out into the country for day and look
around.
Mr.. Bowscr was not satisfied. In his
minds eye he could see bushels and bushels
Of May apples growing on dozens and dozens
Of trees as he walked in the direction Of his
family drug store. lie could almost taste
The fruit as he entered
Well Bowser what's up2 was the greeting
Of the druggist,
Nothing much. Didn't yoa used to live
on a farm1
did my hoy and I wish was back there
You must know what May apples are1
As we'll as know what grass is.
And what does May apple tree look
like2
The druggist laughed long, loud horse
laugh and then sobered up and said:
Better 90 home and call doctor old man j..
why2