Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1903-04-10

OF course you're in no position yet to
think of being engaged even, and that's
why I'm a little afraid that you may
be planning to get married. But a
twelve dollar clerk who owes So for
roses needs n keeper more than wife.
| want to say right here that there al
ways comes IL time to the fellow who
blows So at lick on roses when he
thinks how many staple groceries he
could have bought with the money.
After all, there's no fool like a young
fool. because in the nature of things
he's got long time to live.
l suppose I'm tanning the air when L
ask you to be guided by my judgment
in this matter, because while Il young
fellow will consult his father about
buying horse he's cocksure of him
self when it comes to picking a wife.
Marriages may be made in heaven, but
most engagements are made in the
back parlor, with the gas so low that a
fellow doesn't really get a square look
at what he's talking. While a man
doesn't see much of Il girls family
when he's counting he's apt to see a
good deal of it when he's housekeep-
ing, and while he doesn't marry his
wife's father there's nothing in the
marriage VOW to prevent the old man
from borrowing money from him, and
you can bet if he's old Job Dashkam
he'll do it. A man cant pick his own
mother, but he can pick his sons moth
er, and when he chooses a father-in-
law who plays the bucketshops he
needn't be surprised if his own son
plays the races.
Never marry poor girl who's been
raised like rich one. She's simply
traded the virtues of the poor for the
vices of the rich without going long
on their good points. TO marry for
money or to marry without money is a
crime. There's no real objection to
marrying woman with Il fortune, but
there is TO marrying fortune with a
woman.
While YOU are ut it, there's nothing
like picking out Il good looking wife,
because even the handsomest woman
looks homely sometimes, and so you
get little variety. But a homely one
can only look worse than usual. Beau
ty is only skin deep, but that's deer
enough to satisfy any reasonable man
q want to say right here that to get
any sense out of proverb | usually
find that | have to turn ii wrong side
OUT Then. too, if Il fellows bound
40, 81 fool nd a LOT Of hn ~
TO if they're going to hitch up into 9
well matched team. there's nothing
like picking n good looking one.
| believe in short engagements and
long marriages. ! don't see any sense
in a fellows sitting around on the
mourner's bench with the sinners
after he's really got religion. The
time to size up the other side.
strength is before the engagement
Some fellows propose to girl be
fore they know whether her front ant
her back hair match and then hollel
that they're stuck when they find tina
she's got cork leg and a glass ey,
as well.
They start out on the principle tina
married people have only one meal {
day and that of fried oysters and tutt
frutti ice cream after the theater Nat
urally a girls got her better natur,
and her best complexion along under
those circumstances. But the really
valuable thing to know is how she ap
proaches ham and eggs at I o'clocl
n. IN. and whether she brings her com
pleXion with her to the breakfast Ia
bic. And these fellows make Il girl be
lieve that they're going to spend al
the time between s and II o'clocl
p. m. for the rest of their lives holdin,
no pounds, live weight, in their lal
and saying that it feels like feather
The thing TO find out is whether, wheI
one of them gets up to holding IA tel
pound baby in his arms for five min
utes, he's going TO carry on as if /
weighed Il ton.