The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1903-07-26


Bruce Comyn, soldier in the Seven
teenth century, under my lord pro-
tector. the General Cromwell. and now
reincarnated into helper in the
newspaperdom of ST. Paul, complied
with the wish of my editorial chief that
] test the speed, promptitude and re
liability of the postal service in TINS
city. GO and do it," said he in the
curt vernacular of the day, wherefore
went l about it; and that experience be
root for the fruit of observation, there
fore wrote l thus-being ardently in
the mood so to do and lonely withal:
To Dorothy Vane, beloved of me,
this:
Dorothy: Thou art a sweet, comely
and lissome wench. l do love thee, and
if thou wilt have me. l would marry
thee.
Say. wilt thou?
Say it at once, an it please you, for
l am of an ardent mood and would
marry thee ere the moon wanes-
which moon would I have wax forth
with into the sweetness of our honey
orb rather than contract to the plain,
ordinary lunar crescent.
l beg thee to be no whit dismayed,
either at the disparity of our years or
by the fact that / am widoWer of three
wives. For it hath passed into
proverb that a mans second wife is
better dealt by than his first, and sea-
sons multiply why a mans fourth
should profit by the experience in con-
jugal felicities gained by him with the
preceding three. Hence, on this score,
haVes no fears, my sweet one.
AS for the difference in years, thou
art young, it is true, and l might have
chosen an older woman perchance
widow, of whom there are many nova
I ffrNOn
will cure, and it is better that thou.
maiden, should be surprised at the
ardor, tenderness and devotion of my
love than that some relique of a late
dear departed should be disappointed
at it's comparative coldnes.
Let me know: Wilt thou marry me,
and when?
Affectionately, I rest
Thine.
John Bruce Comyn.
1 thought it well to be thus bold
spoken lest 1 be suspected of that faint
heart which ne'er won fair lady, and
moreover. lest by writing otherwise
breed in the young woman presump-
ton which might i'll become her as
wife.
Thus written I duly inclosed the mis-
sive, put about the packet a bit of blue
ribbon, knotted with a true-lover's
KQFI as pest L COulu IdSlllOH II lIOll
memory of many seventeenth century
tyings, sealed it securely SO that no
prying hand might open it for inquisi-
tive eyes to read, addressed it, stamp
ed it with a little craven picture OF
the General George Washington, OBJ
tanned by me for 2 cents-a price pro-
digiously cheap for carrying letter
and, observing the approach OF car
rier whom l knew, l bespoke him thus:
Thou art long in the service. Master
Nicolas Hendy.'
Thirty years in August next, Capt.
Comyn," quoth he. II entered at forty
five; I am now venty-five-the senior
carrier in the ST. Paul service" I no
ticed his eyes twinkled as he took the
ribbon bound packet 1 handed him
but l forbore to discuss it, Doubtless
the twinkle was due to recollections
of his own early affairs.
How many carriers are there in st.
Paul?'' / asked.
"One hundred and thiPty-seven reg
ular carriers, twenty-six substitutes
and thirteen special delivery young
men," said he.
"And hast thou a horn?" said T.
"a what ?" said he.
"a horn," said l. 'Twere the GUS
tom in the davs of my Lord Cromwell
and King Charles to wind horn on
the approach of the post. Windest
thou a horn?"
mo; l wind not horn. I whistle"
sand he. and thereupon he took from
his pocket what he termed a postman's
whistle and blew upon it a blast of
such thrilling shrillness that forth
with there appeared in the doorways
near by sundry women, looking for
their letters. I took them to be house
slatterns. so slack and slovenly was
their attire, thing which were the
same in King Charles time. And from
one house came loud and vehement the
clamorous voice of a scold-likewise
the same as in King Charles time.
Hast a ducking stool?" quoth l.
"a what?" again quoth he.
"a ducking STOOL" and I explained
its usefulness to silence the scold
Nay" quoth he, sadly, I'VE have
the river and the women-but no duck
ing stool"
Wherefore I marveled at the present
laxity of female discipline. 'Twere not
so in the days of my lord protector
And how long work you daily ?"
said 1.
Eight hours" said he., "compacted
If possible into two stretches, with an in
terval for dinner, but broken into trips,
If necessary which are made at any
and all times in the twenty-four hours.
OF course most of the carriers service
is done during the daytinE-but there
are carriers out at all hours of the
twenty-four collecting and distributing
mail. 1t is frequent and speedy serv-
Ice. You can send letter and get it
answered the same day in the down
town district of st. Paul. AS our car
riers only work eight hours a day,
many of them are studying for other
occupations-law. medicine and vari-
Gus arts and trades"
And have you not wagons for the
carriage of pouches, sacks and heavy
maiI?"
Yes there are nine wagons and a
push cart. Three of the wagons are
heavy trucks, six are single wagons
They handle the mails between the
railways and the postofice. They malt
daily. on schedule time, thirty-three
itrips between the pQstoffice and the
depot. twenty-six or twenty-seven be-
tween the depot and the commercial
station, and six or seven to other sta
tons. This service is in charge of J. c.
Shea the contractor. since July l. this