Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-11-28
WAS A FALSE ALARM

| THE next time WORT myself up to the
stampeding point oyer dog" said a man
whose lares and penates are embraced
within the walls of fiat its going to be
a bench dog worth at least 5000. and
with enough blue ribbons and other
trophies dangling from his collar to make
the panic worth while. IT'S not going to be
a dog worth about So .cents-the kind of
a dog that kept me on the grtddle for a
number of hours the other evening.
THE dog belongs to me. That is to say
he belongs to both my wife and myself.
but whenever anything happens to him my
| wife passes the sDle proprietary interest
in him to me so asato make me responsible
for his safe return to,home. health and
happiness. When everythfng's all right
| with the dog, he belongs to her, ana L m
| not permitted to get a word In edSewfse
as to his management: or behavior.
! when l got home from the races the
| other evening 1 whStledf up the tube OF
| my flat and told the servant. who answered
| the whistle. to send the dog down the stairs
| to mel always am booked to give him
| little trot around the. block of evenings,
no matter whether there ga torrential rain
| coming down or a blizzard is raging. After
a delay of about two minutes the black
girl returned to the fiat whistle and sang
down to me-
".Ah can't fin de dawg, sub
| Then, without waiting for the elevator,
I went up the stairs. three at clip. 1
ak, and found the maid wringing her hands,
seated on a kitchen chair. with her apron
| thrown over her head and moaning strange
Congo-like sounds that were meant to con-
| vey to the informa ton that she wasn't
responsible for the dogs absence.
| deed didn't lose he ALL suh-deed
| ah didn't" she kept repeating. He mus
| have snuck out de do W en- All opened 1t
TO de groCey man. All haint clapped uh
eye on him TO- mon two houahs.'
THAT was the beginning of the STAN
pede. l broke out of the fiat and down the
stairs at madmans lope. and as soon as
| 1 got onto the street l began to corral
everybody tina passed by and ask, wildly and
incoherently as to the whereabouts OF my
dog. 1 didn't tell 'em what kind OF dog-1
| just said dog.
Twas 1t fox terrier? several Of them
asked me. and 1 howled an idiotic Yes"
| and asked em where he was
| II think that about fourteen of them had
seen fox terrier dog playing by him
self right down the street If L had stopped
to think for one-eighth Ola second 1t might
have occurred to me that there's never an
hour of the day night. In Washington or
anywhere else, when there isn't fox ter
rier playing down the street. But every
time was told that by the people braced
for information Immediately darted to
the opinion that the one playing down the
street must by very necessity be mine ana
1 suppose L loped at least four miles in fol-
lowing up these clues. All of them were
delusive. For the first time In my whole
life L didn't see single dog of any breed
or species whatever on the Street-they AL
seemed to have purposely vanished to avoid
any possibility of being. mistaken by me
| for my lost dog.
Il walked and cantered up and down the
| street in front Of my fat building In a
| frenzy for twenty minutes. and then l saw
my wife getting off the car at the corner in
the twilight. She was returning from the
matinee. 49,
| Madam said to her tragically. going
up behind her and addressing her in a
sepulchral tone. grieye to inform you
that the dog that l have dragged all over
the continent Of North America at your
behest and command during the past seven
| years has been lost
Then I told her a lot of other things.
among others, that 1t was d burned pecu-
liar thing that 1 couldn't edge away from
my fiat for more than twenty minutes
| without coming home to find such a grue-
some calamity confronting me as lost
dog
she'd be able to incite me to fury such as
| would cause me never to let up in my hunt
for that dog as long as had breath in my
| body. If the mean little thing is just bound
and determined to run away. why, let him.
that's ALL wouldn't turn over finger to
| find hinl-not II
''See the craftiness of that attitude Of
hers? If she had tolG me to hustle right
| down town and advertise for the dog and
| notify the police and alarm the town over
| the business, she knew perfectly well that
I'd have curled up Instantly and, washed
posely gave me the opportunity, however.
| to reproach her for her callousness in being
willing to let poor little dog, her faithful
| companion for seven years, starye In the
| cold streets of Washington without any ef-
fort being made to fetch him back to his
own f1reside7-and, Of course, / awaited my
self Of that chance. I told her that was
going after that dog. and that she need
| never expect to again, no, not II l
was hoary old man. until II found him.
"Whereupon.. leaving her standing In the
| street, j jumped a car and was hauled
down to No 1 station, where frant1caliy
| reported the loss of a small fox terrier with
a lemon marking on both sides of his head.
The police didn't seem to take 1t so serious
| ly 1 did. and. l. felt resentful toward
| them for their attitude. go. -. .ar.s,..- So:
| Then I hustled to all of the newspaper
| offices and inserted elaborate descrfp-
ton of the dog in a Lost adj, and If my
memory serves me think that appended
| the statement to the ad. that almost any
| old reward would be- instantly paid, and no
! questions asked for; the dogs return to my
| apartment. al: - o..
| Then. exhausted with the frenzy of all
| this business, went home.
| THE dog was yawning, squatted in q
bored kind of way on the Morris chair in
the dining room, when L walked into the
fiat.
i stared at him for about half a minute,
| wondering If he was the ghost of a dog
come back to reproach us in spirit for not
| having been more jealous in hunting for
|
"Ghost nothing, When he saw me he
| bounded down onto the floor and turned
over on his back and executed the usual
stunt of welcome which he always pulls off
when I arrive at home. even if I've only
| been to the corner to get cigar
- so silly. wasn't It? 1 heard my wife
saying to me then. You see. when / left
the house to go to the matinee. poor little
| Blinksey was in my clothes closet. and
when 1 got my coat closed the door to.
not knowing that he was in there. And a
| few minutes after I came upstairs, after
| meeting you, heard the greatest scratch
| ing in the closet that ever was-and Of
course 1t was Blinksey trying to get outi
Why you might have known that the little
dear would never run away In this wide
| world from his momsey- womsey@ and
| then she had the mutt In her arms and the
| rest of 1t was unintelltgible.
Then l had to telephone the District of
| Columbia police department that they
| needn't send out any Bertillon circulars
and call off the ads, and go through sundry
and divers other erawtishing stunts
"Why' said my wife when I dropped
into a chair, worn cut with the excitement
| of the business I don't believe you'd get
into such state IL you lost mer
And 1 was just sore and weary enough