davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1903-05-03

but at the couple who had just pass
ed.
mo, no. insisted Mrs. Brown
there they are, right there. Don't you
see," and she came as near pointing
with her finger as she had done at
any time since John P. retired from
business.
''Why-why." stammered her COM
panion, that's Mr.. and Mrs. D. D.
Cradlebaugh-"
"Of course it is" assented Mrs.
Brown, how did you know? And he's
nothing but a trolley car conductor.
And She"
Mrs. ]. P. Brown could conceive of
nothing more Objectionable at the mo-
ment than a trolley car conductor. or
she would have applied some epithet
to the conductors wife.
She" said her companion, coldly,
lis the daughter-the only one, of
Stephen Van Rensselaer, of Bellport."
Mrs. Brown gasped "Wha-What!"
she exclaimed, land did she marry a
conductor"
The other woman laughed. 80 that's
it. is it, she demanded with a twin
kle in her eye. 'of course, she did.
thought you knew. She married the
famous Number Oughty-two-and 1t
was a famous match for each. Do you
mean to say that you never heard
about him."
Mrs. Brown was bewildered. TEL
me-" she commanded.
why, he was Valedictorian of his
class-the Glass of Oughty-two, last
year's class, you know. When they
gave him a job on the road, he insist
ed on having for his number his class
year. So they call him the Oughty-twc
conductor. Don't you see?"
Yes, 1 see,' doubtfully replied Mrs
J. P Brown. but who is he anyway
1 don't quite understand"
Hes learning the trolley business, u
went on the other, land he has started
in at the bottom rung of the ladder
SO he's a trolley car conductor. His
father is the owner of the road, you
know. He's the son of Duncan Cradle
baugh, of Bellport."
Mrs. ]. Pendelton Brown wilted
She is still skirting the fringe on the
edge of the crust of society. She is
still without the magic circle. The in
ner cubes of the magic boxes still re-
sist her efforts
The Savannah morning news., 1903-05-03

with my eyes never off the hole.
Finally the coon ventured forth, but
no sooner had his body got half way
out than I grabbed him and carried
him home in triumph and added him
to my circus.
II wish / had the art now but my
hand lost its cunning Only once in
recent years have been able to catch
an animal. I was fishing in a trout
stream when noticed a black object
in among some rushes. A second look
told me it was a -muskrat. and that
moment also the instinct of my
boyhood's cunning rose within me,
and, almost before I realized it,
had dived my hand into the water and
muskrat as any one could desire to
see.
An Anaconda story.
Another achievement of my young
days. of which 1 am still proud, was
my tanning of robins and cat birds.
To tame a bird is hard work, and to
tame either a robin or cat is the
hardest kind of work. But after days
of effort 1 succeeded in getting sew
eral of them to be pets, and they
would come to my call and sing for
me and eat crumbs out of my hands
almost as willingly as trained
canary.
Snakes" Mr.. Beard laughed. IT
had many kinds, but one of my latter
day experiences with them will illus
trate how I treated them in my youth.
Il managed to secure a baby ana
conda several years ago, and kept him
for time in my studio in New York
city. One day, however l wanted to
remove him to my home in Long
Island, so I stuck the little fellow
he was about three feet long-in an
overcoat pocket, put a soft glove over
him, and made for the ferry-boat.
"A short time after l was seated and
engaged in reading my paper, l
noticed a man by my side get up
far corner. Pretty soon another
neighbor did the same thing, and then
the whole cabin stared in my direc-
ton.
II began to think that maybe some
thing was the matter with my per-
sonal appearance, so 1 preened my
whiskers, readjusted my tie, and ex-
amined my hat for dents. But every
thing was in good order, as far as l
could ascertain, and I was still in the
dark as to the embarrassing gaze of
the commuters.
"At last, in a second attempt to dis
cover what was the matter, 1 hap
pened to swing hand around to my
side, and it struck against something
clammy. 1 looked down, and there,
waving from side to side, with foot
of his body out of my pocket, and his
tongue making lightning-like darts,
was the anaconda that had forgotten
all about.
The Sequel to the Snake story.
But the sequel of the incident was
quite as amusing.
zone of my neighbors had Witness
ed the whole affair. and when he saw
me on the boat day or two later,
he started some pleasantly at my ex-
pense.
Why, gentlemen he said, to the
crowd around us, / dare say he has
several snakes in his pockets this
morning. And with that he dived a
hand into the nearest pocket.
"A second later the man gave a
howl that was heard all over the boat;
and then 1 remembered that just be-
fore 1 left home l had put several
cray fish into that pocket. One of
the fish had nipped the mans hand
but it took me some time to convince
him that he had not been bitten by
an anaconda"
The Savannah morning news., 1903-05-03

When John P. Brown made his pile
by selling cattle on the hoof, he made
up his mind that he would retire from
business. The instant that he retired
from business Mrs. John P. Brown
made up her mind that it was up to
her to do the rest. And with charac-
teristic modesty, she concluded that she
was past master in the art of doing it.
Like Noddy Bohin's wife, her hobby
was Society-with capital S.
Bellport was a large place Mrs. John
P. Brown had a contract on her hands.
Bellport's inner set was a genuine in
ner set, one that was determined to
keep out the outer set. And Bellport's
inner set. though most exclusive, was
strong in numbers.
Mrs. John p. Brown found that So
ciety resembled to some extent. the
magic boxes-the large box on the out
side enclosing the smaller graduated
boxes, which redured breaking one
by one until the Jewel inside was
reached Mrs. John P. Brown start
ed in to break the outer box. This
was comparatively easy. So were the
second, third and fourth-her bank ac-
count HclpeQ dlOHS dIhdLlu5iy Will
these.
But she was after the jewel in the
smallest box. Now there We're two jew
els. in fact. enclosed therein. Bell
port was place not with one. but with
two social leaders. The Van Renssal-
aers and the Cradlebaughs-the Cradle
baughs and the Van Renssalaers-these
two families constituted the kernel in
the nut. These families We're each
arstocratic. The Van Renssalaers were
rich and aristocratic merely the Cra-
dlebaughs We're that and more. they
We're influential. The head of the Cra-
dlebaugh family was president of the
First National Bank. president of the
local trolley company-the Consolidat-
ed-and president of the concern that
owned the new telephone franchise. He
was director in everything. He was
q fine gentleman of the old school, with
white side whiskers and very portly
presence.
Mrs. Brown had some of John P.'s
business instincts-she had helped
him make his money. She under
stood the first principles of advertis-
ing She kept her eyes open, and she
took quick note of what the very swell
The Savannah morning news., 1903-05-03

VIXEN we came in" and she related
how the conductor and his wife had
forced themselves in, simply because
they knew the negro waiter at the
door. Mrs. ]. P. had forgotten her
gratitude for the service they had done
her.
At that instant the conductor and his
wife passed her. If the conductors
wife held her head in the air, so did
Mrs. ]. P. Brown-she cut them
dead
There they go now" she whispered
to her companion.
Her companion looked everywhere
The Savannah morning news., 1903-05-03
DAN Boards TWO FOXES
AND HIS OTHER PETS

The Famous Animal Artists Amusing Remnis cences of
His Boyhood's Menagere-How Faust and Marguerite,
Undecided for Days and Enabled Them to Rob
Neghboring Hen RoostS.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
Stranoe Picture Story.

A story Of strange happenings to a
valuable picture-an Albert Durer
worth O,OOO-comes from a village
in West Flanders. An inhabitant re-
ceived the picture from Paris some
years ago. and, being ignorant of its
value, sold it to a local carriage paint
er, whose son disposed of 1t to an
amateur" for fifty francs. This gave
rise to legal proceedings between the
first seller and the carriage painter. in
the course of which the picture was
identified as ore vtlrh had been
stolen from the Royal Picture Gallery
at Munich. The work is representa-
ton of the Apostles, one of Durer's
masterpieces. and the signature of the
artist is in a corner of the panel
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
She Remembers Ella.

Probably Mrs. Coe of London is the
only person living in England who
has personal recollections of Charles
Lamb. says the New York Mail and
Express. More than seventy years
ago she was little girl living at
the Widford water mill. and because
of her quickness in catching mis-.
cnievous idea she was great favor.
itc with the genial essayist. Some of
ncr recollcctions E. V. Lucas. the
well-known Lamb scholar. has trans
scribed as the result of recent con.
versations with her. She remembers
Lambs affected conviction that her
hair curled only by artificial means,
and his repeated warnings at bed
time that she must not forget to put
it in papers. To beggars. she says.
he always gave just what his hand
happened to draw from his pocket,
He was fond of treating the village
children to candy. his favorite con
fection being Gibraltar rock" Here
is pen picture of him as he appeared
to the child:
His clothes were rusty and shabby.
like poor dissenting minister's. He
was very thin and looked half,
starved. partly the effect of high
checkbones. He wore knee breeches
and CATERS and a high stock. He
carried a walking stick, with which
he used to strike at pebbles. He
smoked a black clay pipe. No one
would have taken him for what he
was, but he was clearly man apart.
He took pleasure in looking eccen-
tric
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
THINGS NOT WELL SAID.
Two Stories That Show the value OF
Slow Speech.

oIow SPSSSts
An English author has given some
very amusing examples of how things
can be said in a queer way. One OF
the most unfortunate recorded at
tempts to escape from conversa
tional difficulty was made by Lon
don curate, who cultivated the friend
ship of mechanics.
One day a carpenter came to him
and said
81 have brought my boys likeness,
as you said you'd like to have it.
"How good of you to remember"
said the curate. what capital like
ness! How is he?"
why, sir don't you remember"
said the carpenter. Hes dead"
"Oh, yes, of course | know that"
replied the curate. Il mean, how's
the man that took the Photograph
A story is told of a young laborer
called at the registrars office to regis.
ter his fathers death. When the of
fetal asked the date of the event, the
son replied:
He amt dead yet, but he'll be dead
before night, 30 l thought it would
save me another journey If you would
put it down now"
"Oh, but that won't do at ALI" said
the registrar. perhaps your father
will live till tomorrow"
"Well. | don't know, sir; the doc
tor says as he won't; and he knows
what he has given him!'
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
Why Russell Sage Works.

Although Russell Sage. the famous
fnancier. will be SG years of age on
August 4 next and has recently had
a severe turn of Illness. he has ex-
pressed his determination to continue
at his business the same as before.
1t was some five years ago that Mr..
Sage was asked why he did not re-
tire and take rest and enjoy what
he had made. His reply then was
doubtless what it would be now if
he were asked the same question: Il
don't know that l could stop If l
would. l fear l should not live long
if | did so. l believe l like work
better than l do play. My chief hap
piness today is in my work and |
suppose my machinery will go on At
this same rate as long as l live"
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
Mutual misunderstanding.

When Baron Haussmann went to
Constantinople on a visit to Abdul
Aziz, who was then sultan. he had an
interview with the grand vizier, who
did not know word of French: At the
beginning of the interview the old
long Turkish pipes were brought in
and then Baron Haussman began max
ing very long speech in French. The
grand vizier could not understand
word, but listened most attentively
till he noticed that his pipe had gone
out and clapped his hand for servant
to come and re-light 1t. Haussmann,
thinking he was applauding, rushed
toward him with outstretched hand.
intending to shake hands and thank
him. The grand vizier. seeing his hand
put forth shook it warmly and said
"Good-by." under the impression 1t
was Haussman's intention to leave,
and quilted the room.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
BUSY AND USEFUL LIFE.
HeIpfuIness and Hope the Keynote Of
Mrs. Sangster's Career.

Mrs. Sangster is tall, silver-haired
lady with clear, blue eyes, sweet
voice, a gentle, dignified manner and
sunny optimism that banishes care
and sorrow from her presence.
Her sixty years have been busy ones.
Her early education was principally in
her own home. and even as child she
gave signs of the literary future to-
ward which she was Fastening. Her
first poem was written for the Inde-
pendent and its publication was red
letter day in the calendar of her
years.
In 1871 she became editor of Hearth
and Home. later becoming associated
with the Christian at Work. Christian
Intelligencer. Harpers Young People.
Harper's Bazaar. Golfers Weekly and
Ladies' Home Journal. Her collections
of poems and her other books all have
the simple, ethical helpfulness OF
making religion working, practical
force in everyday lives.-Exchange.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
THE GROWTH OF CREMATION.
Figures Show the Idea Is Advancing in
Popularity.

Figures Show the Idea Is Advancing in
Popularity.
Sir Henry Thompson has just been
sketching the history of cremation in
England. He was one of the pioneers
of the movement, which began in the
seventies with the formation of ere
nation society, of which he was elect
ed president, and has occupied that
office since then. 1t was the first in
stitution of the kind ever founded. al.
though the continent had preceded us
In burning the dead. OF course the
great difficulty was the prejudice that
had to be met and overcome. The
novel idea did not at first commend
itself to more than the very few. AS
late as 1885 there were only three Gre
nations at Woking during the whole
year. In 1901 the number ran up to
300. which indicates an enormous ad-
vance, but over the area outside the
metropolis there were only las alto
gether. However, signs of progress
are numerous, not only in wider de-
sire to dispose of the dead by fire, but
in the erection of new crematories in
towns that had not previously made
such provision. Sir Henry Thompson
is justified In feeling encouragement.
and Is determined to continue his
strenuous campaign against earth bur-
ial.-Liverpool Post.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

Three sides of the monument were
carved On one | read
Sacred to the Memory of
CHARLES GRAvISCOURT.
Born, Feb. is, IS.
Died, June 10. IS.
On another l read:
ALICE,
Born, April 6. IS.
Died, July 81, 1S-.
BLESSED are the pure in heart, for
they shall see God"
She has Joined her Savior.
On the third:
ALICE,
Infant Daughter of Charles and Alice
Graviscourt.
Died, Oct. 4th, 1S-. Aged years.
What fool ami" l muttered as
I turned away. The air seemed to
have grown chilly since | had come
there, and drew my coat close
around me and returned to my car
riage.
Like all meddlers, having been dis
appointed, | was determined to try
again, and my next visit was to the
Bureau of Vital Statistics, at 30l
Mott Street.
Upon making my errand known.
some little wonder was apparent
among the clerks. but | was readily
Accommodated. and was soon looking
over the death records of sixteen
years before, the year in which oc-
tn 70 ma nrh1n oh "a n
in Trinity, the death of Alice, daugh-
ter of Charles and Alice Graviscourt.
At last found what | was looking
for. held in my hand the certificate
of death of the child whose untimely
removal had made Ralph Graviscourt
a millionaire.
Nothing was wrong about the GER
tificate Every form of law had been
complied with. The cause of death
was smallpox. The signature of the
physician attached was &C. Sigmotta
NJ. d."
Doctor Dinsmore, the Secretary of
the New York Medical Society. was a
friend of long standing. l felt | could
rely upon him. and was soon at his
door.
He greeted me cordially, and | had
no iticulty in telling him what |
wanted to know. He smiled, and pro-
ceeded to look over some old folios he
had taken from a recess in his book
case.
After few minutes spent thus, he
said:
Il find here the name of Charles
Sigmotta as member of our society
rtcen-fifteen-even twenty years
ago. He does not seem to have been
prominent but little mention being
made of him, except the fact that he
attended meetings. barely recall
the name. and do not recollect the
man. But there is no doubt he was a
physician in good standing. He Is not
member now. Wait. Ah, here it is!
He resigned thirteen sars age.
Where he is now, do not know"
1T is not important" said. What
| want to know is this: Sixteen years
ago documents-say death certificates
signed by him would be above sus.
picion, would they not?"
To the best of my knowledge and
belief, they would" replied Doctor
Dinsmore. 81 know of nothing that
indicates to the contrary"
Having once moro had my suspic.
ions laid to the ground, | thanked the
doctor and hurried home.
tTo be continued)
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

Indigestion, congested liver. I'M
pure blood, constipation, there are
what affiict thousands Of people who
do not know what is the matter with
them. They drag along miserable
existence; they apply to the local doc
tors occasionally. and sometimes OBJ
tain a little temporary relief. but tho
old, tired, wornout. all-gone. distress-
ed feeling always comes back again
worse than ever, until in time they
become tired of living. wonder why
they were ever born. and why they are
alive unless to endure constant suner-
ing. To such sufferers there is
haven of refuge in DR.. August koe-
nig's Hamburg Drops. which was dis
covered more tina, go years ago. and
which is a wonderful medicine. One
trial will convince the most skeptical
that any or all of these difficulties
may be removed. and perfect cure
effected, by taking DR.. August koe-
nig's Hamburg Drops. Get bottle at
once, before 1t Is too late.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

Bright's disease is near at hand. Read
how the danger can be averted.
Case No. 15.741.-Re'-. Jacob D. Van
Doren, of ST Sixth street, Fond du Lac,
Wis, Presbyterian clergyman, says:
"a man or woman who has never had
kidney complaint or any of the little
ills consequent upon irritated or mac
tive kidneys knows very little about
what prolonged suffering is. / had at
tacks which kept me in the house for
days at a time, unable to do anything.
and to express what l suffered can
hardly be adequately done in ordinary
Anglo Saxon. AS time passed. compli.
cations set in, the particulars of which
I viii be pleased to give in personal
interview to any one who requires in
formation. used plenty Of remedies,
and, ever on the outlook for something
that might check or benefit my condi-
tion, began taking Doan's Kidney
Pills. This can conscientiously say,
Doan's Kidney Pills caused general
Improvement in my health. They
brought great relief by lessening the
pain and correcting the action of the
kidney secretions.
A FREE TRIAL of this great kidney
medicine, which cured the Rev. Jacob
Van Doren, will be mailed on applica-
tion to any part of the United States.
Address Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo.
N. Y. For sale by all druggists. Price
SO cents per box.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
Would Like a Guarantee.

.I wish" said the rabbit who found
himself in the boa constructors cage.
that the Monroe doctrine prevailed
in this menagerie." What do you
mean?" inquired his snakeship. II
wouldn't mind getting a good scare
now and then If could only be guar
antaad AGAINST being swallowed alive"
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

When did you first occupy the
bench. Mr. Chief Justice?' AT hve
yea.s of age" How can that be?'
well, there was bench for a-b-c-da-
rians and desks for older children.
You see me at seventy back on the
bench"
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
u Mrs. EmmOnS, saved from u
an operation for Ovaritis, tells
how she was cured by Lydia e.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.

~ am so pleased with the results I
obtained from Lydia Il. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound that feel it
n duty and privilege to write you
about it.
~ suffered for over five years with
ovarian troubles, causing an un-
pleasant discharge, n great weakness,
and at times Il faintness would como
over me which no amount of medicine,
diet, or exercise seemed to correct.
Your Vegetable Compound found the
weak spot, however, within n few
weeks and saved me from an
operation all my troubles had dis
appeared, and / found myself once
more healthy and well. Words fail to
describe the real, true grateful feeling
that is in my heart, and l want to tell
every sick and suffering sister. Don't
daily with medicines you know moth
ing about, but take Lydia Il. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, and
take my word for it. you will be q
different woman in short timc."-
MRS. LAURA EMMoNs, Wallserville, Ont.
5000 forfeit " original of above letter proving
genuineness cannot be produced.
Don't hesitate to write to Mrs.
Pinkham If there is anything
about your case which you do
not understand. She will treat
you with kindness and her ad-
vice is free. No woman ever re-
gretted writing her and she has
helped thousands. Address Is
Lynn, Mass.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

Sunday School Teacher-What does
the story of Jonah and the whale indi-
categ Tommy-That it's hard to keep
q good man down.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

In order to forecast the weather
with a reasonable degree Of accuracy
all you have to do is to predict any.
thing you don't expect.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

81 suppose Jones is happy since the
breach of promise suit against him has
been dismissed" mot at all. You see.
the newspapers printed all his. love
letters verbatim and now everybody
guys him on his bad spelling"
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

Mrs. winslow's Soothing syrup
For children teething. sofens the gums, reduces M
na:umalion, sllays pain. cures wind collie &c bottle
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
ALURKING DANGER.

There IL a lurKfat
danger in the aching
back.
The aches and pains
of a bad back tell of
kidneys overworked.
Go to the kidneys
a s S l s t a n C e when
backache pains warn
you.
A kidney warning
should be needed. for
dangerous diabetes
quickly follows in the.
wake of backache.
Urinary disorders
are seri o us and
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

Dealers say that as soon as Gus
toner tries Defiance Starch 1t is impos-
sible to sell them any other cold water
starch. It can be used cold or boiled.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

Jennie-He is man after my own
heart. Lucille-He was after mine.
too. but Tilted him.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

Denver girl was held up by two men
At the City park IA few nights since. She
was learning to skate and seemed to en-
10y It.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

There are no dog watches on n cat
boat. neither are there any ratlines.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
rheumatism Positively Cured.

ease impossible and as unfailing as fate
in It's cure. Send at once rs cents for rec
ipe. Prescription Co Box 253. Denver
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

It's because of their true merit thnt
so many smokers prefer Baxters Bull
head scent cigar.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

The way to solve the divorce problem IL
to find the least common divisor.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

"Afildr' Well. should say so-Bax-
ter's Bullhead &c cigar Smoke many
as you like; they won't hurt you.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
MQubkeCk, The u0n-TQne[.
Bv SEWARD w. HOPKINS,

Author Of Jack Robbins Of America" 'ln the
China Sea-" Two 0entiemen Of
Hawaii" "On . Palss
Charge" Etc.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

WHEN YOU BUY STARCH
buy Defiance and get the best. is OF. for
10 cents. Once used. always used.
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07

w W. 1. Dougins makes and soils moro
m en's $3.50 and $500 shoes than ny other
The Lamar register., 1903-01-07
Denver Directory.

DENVER NORMAL s nnd ans o
insrcial Courses. iSAj Glsnnrm. FRED DICK. Prin-