Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1903-07-30

SHED, SAID THE WIDOW.
tiers two or three times Il week for six
months before it dawned upon him that
he was in love. If John had fallen in
love with a girl he would have pro-
ceeded in the orthodox fashion, but as
the person was a widow and as he had
read that the way to capture widow
was to strike straight from the shout
der within thirty-siN hours he ap-
peared before her and bluntly said:
Wilder. 1 love you. Will you marry
me?'
NO, sir; l won'tm was the equally
blunt reply. Then John realized that
the straight from the shoulder business
was fraud and delusion. He took
up his hat and walked off. Under the
circumstances the widow could excuse
him for taking short cut across the
garden and trampling over her cucum-
bers and uprootins her onions.
1t was Il week before he could yell at
his oxen in his usual enthusiastic way.
Then he woke up TO the fact that he
still lived and loved and that there was
hope for him if be worked things right.
1t was Il lightning rod man who finally
gave him the tip.
Never try to rush wilder, = was
the sage advice given him by the man
of thunderstorms. "A wilder can nei-
ther be rushed like you'd buy a COW
nor courted as if she We're a love sick
girl. You've got to get her sympathy
first"
Three days later the news reached
the Widow Davis that John was in bed
as the result of an interview with a
wandering bull. The bull hadn't quite
killed him. but he was unconscious and
using her name at intervals of two or
three minutes. The widow sent him
freshly killed chicken and a tumbler of
currant Jelly and hoped he would soon
recover. John chuckled as he realized
that he had made a fair start on the
new programme. At the end of a week
he limped over to receive her sympa-
thies and congratulations and the flu
ture looked rosy for him. Two weeks
later he was in bed again AS told to
the widow, he had slid off the roof of
his barn and struck the earth with a
thud that was heard for a mile around
He had cried out her name when fall
ing, and her name was the first word
to pass his lips when he finally opened
his eyes
During the week John Hampton was
in bed he was the recipient of several
messages of coincidence and several
dishes prepared by the widows own
hands, and when he got out again he
figured that his chances had improved
SO per cent. Encouraged by this feel
ing, he limped over to the Widow Da-
Wis and again asked for her hand and
heart, but again he was turned down
She was sorry for him, and she hoped
he would find some one to love him,
but she felt that the best she could do
was to be sister to him. 1t wasn't u
lightning rod man, but sewing ma
chine agent, to whom John Hampton
turned for advice on this second occa-
sion, and he couldn't have done better
why, its as Ilsy as rolling off a
log" replied the man when the facts
were in his possession.
During the next four days the Widow
Davis heard various reports concerning
the man for whom she had a sisterly
affection. He looked and acted strange
~. and his friends feared suicide; he
had given an order to the village
cooper for big barrel and would not
explain its intended use.
One day things came to climax
John Hampton drove up to the wild
ow's house with his barrel in the