Smyrna times., 1903-08-12

sHED," SAID THE WIDOW.
ters two or three times a week for six
months before it dawned upon him that
he was in love. If John had fallen in
love with a girl he would have pro-
ceeded in the orthodox fashion. but as
the person was widow and as he had
read that the way to capture Il widow
was to strike straight from the shoul-
der, within thirty-siX hours he ap-
peared before her and bluntly said:
'Widder, l love you. Will you marry
me?"
NO, sir; l won't!' was the equally
blunt reply. Then John realized that
the straight from the shoulder business
was a fraud and a delusion. He took
up his hat and walked off. Under the
circumstances the widow could excuse
him for taking a short cut across the
garden and trampling over her cucum-
bers and uprooting her onions
1t was a week before he could yell at
his oxen in his usual enthusiastic way.
Then he woke up to the fact that he
still lived and loved and that there was
hope for him if he worked things right.
1t was lightning rod man who finally
gave him the tip.
Never try to rush a widder," was
the sage advice given him by the man
Of thunderstorms. "A widder can nei-
ther be rushed like you'd buy a COW
nor cOurted as if she were a love sick
girl You've got to get her sympathy
first"
Three days later the news reached
the Widow Davis that John was in bed
as the result of an interview with a
wandering bull. The bull hadn't quite
killed him, hut he was unconscious and
using her name at intervals of two or
three minutes. The widow sent him a
freshly killed chicken and tumbler of
currant jelly and hoped he would soon
recover John chuckled as he realized
that he had made fair start on the
new programme At the end of week
he limped over to receive her sympa
thies and congratulations, and the fu
ture looked rosy for him. Two. weeks
later he was in bed again. AS told tC
the widow. he had slid off the roof OF
his barn and struck the earth with &
thud that was heard for mile around
He had cried out her name when fall
ing, and her name was the first wore
to pass his lips when he finally opened
his eyes
During the week John Hampton wa
in bed he was the recipient of severa
messages of coincidence and severa
dishes prepared by the Widows owl
hands, and when he got out again III
figured that his chances had improved
so per cent. Encouraged by this feel
ing, he limped over to the Widow Da
Wis and again asked for her hand ant
heart, but again he was turned dowr
She was sorry for him, and she nope
he would find some one to love hin
but she felt that the best she could d
was to be a sister to him. 1t wasn't
lightning rod man, but a sewing ms
chine agent, to whom John Hampto
turned for advice on this second occ;
Sion, and he couldn't have done better
Why, it's as easy as rolling OH
log" replied the man when the fac
were in his possession.
During the next four days the Wido
Davis heard various reports cOncernin
4 the man for whom she had sister,
affection. He looked and acted strang
" and his friends feared suicide; l
s9d given an order to the villas
cooper for a big barrel and would N
explain its intended use.
One day things came to a china
dohn Hampton drove up to the. WI
Ows house with his barrel in Il