davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1903-10-30

An old English solicitor used to say
n mans requirements for going TO law
were ten In number, and he summed
them up as follows: First, plenty Of
money; secondly, plenty OF patience;
thirdly, good case; fourthly, a good
solicitor; nfthly, plenty of money;
sixthly, good counsel; ssventhly, a
good witness; eighthly, n good jury;
nlnthly, good Judge; tenthly, plenty
Of money
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1903-10-30

Magistrate What's the charge against
this man, officer?
Ohicer-No visible means Of support
Magistrate-Its up TO you. prisoner
What have you TO say In answer to the
charger
Prisoner---I guess It's correct, your
honor. My wife isn't visible at the
present writing. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1903-10-30
AT LOWEST CASH PRICES.

We also keep a large assortment OF Single
and Double Harness OF all kinds aud descrip-
ton, Saddles, Collars, Lap-Robes, Spreads,
Whips, ETC., which we will sell lower than
any other establishment.
II will pay you to call and examine the
quality Of our goods aud get our prices be-
fore you purchase elsewhere.
JACOB P0SS q SON.
Va The firm of Jacob Poss h Son will
continue at the old stand the Livery and Sale
Stables which have been conducted by Jacob
Poss Tor quarter of century
Stylish Saddle Horses and fine single and
double Buggies and Carriages tor hire at the
lowest prices.
We make a speciality OF furnishing Car
riages, In charge of skillful, sober and polite
drivers, for weddings, rece ptons and funer-
els.
Every department OF the business has been
extended and improved, and charges for all
classes OF service reduced by tho new 6rm.
JACOB POsS d SON
mar 17-tf ROCKVILLE, MD.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1903-10-30
CABINET-MAKING
AND
r FL r a L r. I N @,
IN ALL IT'S BRANCHES.

EHE undersigned, having a suitable shop,
Il is prepared to do the following work 10
thoroughly practical manner Making new
parts and otherwise repairing, scrapiug pol
ishing aud upholsteriDg all kinds and grades
Of Furniture Baby Carriages, Trunks, Vi
ohns aud Bows AMI all Kinds Of Musical In
struments repaired Gaming Chairs and re-
pairing all kinds Of Cane Furniture Mat
tresses made over in secti. us Ticks renewed
and new ones made to order. Enamelng
Iron or Wood Furniture; EbOnizing, Gid
ing, Bronzing, &c.
Samples OF Upholstery goods always Oh
hand, and cost given before work is done
Old Mahogany Furniture n specially.
can give best Of reference from those for
whom have done work. Satisfaction in all
cases or no charge. Terms moderate
Place OF business, W. II. Ricketts, Build
ing, Rockville, Md.
Thankful for past patronage, ! respectfully
solicit continuance OF the same
oct l3-ly G. @. GRIFFIN
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1903-10-30

Grouchy Bachsior--I heartily dlsap-
prove Of taking children on railway
Journeys and to large hotels.
D0ting Mother-so do I. One meets
20 many rude people and sees 30 much
selAshness at those places that one ID
always glad the little darlings aren't
there to pick up bad habits.-Baltimore
American.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1903-10-30

Charley, dear" said young Mrs. Tor
kIns. isn't It pity that the morning
newspapers are 10 much behind time r.
"In what respectT
why, they never print the name Of
the winner Of horse race until the
next day, when II Is too late to bet"
Compensation.
Jones (nt the boarding bouse)-o Only
two little biscuits for breakfast.
Brown - Yes, but think how heavy
they are. Boston Journal
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1903-10-30

whence Generous Impulses spring.
man who In generous Is always
given credit for having n big heart, but
his liver In what merits the praise
Chicago Record Herald.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11

Joyce Not now says 7. ''T've on'y
been up two hours an I don't think 1
cud ate more thin a couple iv karosene
lamps an a bUr-rd cage says I. But
m hble TO be hungry in a few minits,
an says I. tp'raps 'twud be jus as well
to lock up the small chiIdher.' I SAYS,
where they'll be safe I says, thinkin'
to start tn breakfast with a flow Of
spirits. though III rosy gawd of day sill
dom finds me much betther natured thin
a mustard pIasther.
What's yer fav rite breakfast dish?'
says Joyce My what? says I. 'Ye'er
fav'rite breakfast dish2' says he What
liver we've got. says 1, not to be thrapped
into givin' ne suffrage to anything he
didn't have in tn house. Amy kind "
food so long as it's hot an hurrid. Thank
hiven I have a mind above vittles an
don't know half tn time what I'm atm D
says l. But 1 name prepared food says
he. I like it fried. says /. but I don't
mind 1t brOiled. roasted. suewed. or fric-
asseed- In a minyit or two I'll waive IN
cookin' an ate it off tn hoof.' I says
Well says ne. me fav'rite is Cuff he
says P'raps we've seen the advertise
ment: "OUC iv tn house wint Luck Joe;
Cuff was tn food that made him go"
Mother prefers AlmOstfOOd, a scientific
preparation iv burIaps I used to take
Sawd Ust, which 1 found too rich, an
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11
One of the Joys of His Childhood Was
to Throw Bricks at Brakeman.

Window and make Faces at Jimmy out
side Whereupon Jimmy would double
dare him to come into the Street, but L.
Lawrence remembered about the Family
Name and refused to associate with any
Iow-born Characters, But when he went
out to take his Dancing Lesson, Jimmy
would chase him few Blocks and call
him Names that were almost as bad as
l.. Lawrence
Jimmy had Proud Nature. even if his
Old Man did work al the Gas House. The
Taunts and Insults heaped upon him by
the Young AristOCrat caused him many
Bitter Reflections. but likewise it awoke
IN him Stern Resolve that some day or
other he would make +. Lawrence look
like a Yellow Clarinet.
y have neither Wealth nor Social Sta
ton. Jimmy would say 10 himself. but
] have Youth and Strength and a cast
iron Nerve. and If they expect to keep
me down, they will have to tie me-
While +. Lawrence was away at the
Varsity, learning Sanscrit and how to
1nhale without choking himself. humble
Jimmy was circulating in the Ward
learning the Duties of Citizenship. He de-
veloped a Right Swing that was calcu-
lated to put somebody out of the Bust
ness. It was common saying among his
Admirers that you could not dent Jimmy
with an Ak And yet, only a few Years
before. he had been a barefooted CuO
stealing Rides on the Freight Trains.
lie was in Demand at all Primary Elec-
tions. Whenever he wanted to be Dele
gate to something, his Name went on the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11

men who were not on Earth for their
Health Whenever an Ordinance came up
they held il over Il few Weeks until they
could Investigate and make sure that the
Taxpayers were being Protected.
Jimmy acquired a Reputation as a
Philanthropist and Friend of the Poor.
Every time a down-trodden Porch-Climber
was taken in by those Enemies of So
ciety who wear the Blue Clothes. Jimmy
would go around and fix up the Bail Bond
and explain to the Judge that his Friend
was a Working Boy with a Mother de
pendent on him. BY such unselfish acts
as these he perfected a Private Machine
and had on his Staff a great many use
full workers who said that they were will
ing TO come to the Front at any time and
do anything for him, up to and including
Murder.
Jimmy had started out with No Pull or
Prestige. He had nothing to carry him
through except his Character. And now
al the age Of AZ, he was the Uncrowded
King of the Slate-Makers. the Main
Blazotts and the acknowledged Boss.
As a Boy, his entire Wardrobe stood him
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11

seen Proper And that is how II came
about that the naughty Magnate, who
once reviled the ragged Urchin, came with
his Hat in his Hand and began to Crawl
Is soon as he struck the Front Door.
Here was Grand Opening for Jimmy
He had the Chance of his Life to hand
out a Hunk of Retribution by saying:
when 1 was a penniless Lad you Knocked
my Poverty. Now, I am Wei Off ara
Powerful. and you come TO Square your
self. Co
Jimmy did nothing OF the Sort Large
Natures, such as his, are not capable OF
a Petty Revenge He was Magnanlmous.
He seized f. Lawrence by the Undressed
Kid and led him 10 the Back Room.
AS soon as he became assured that the
Taxpayers were not going 10 get the
Nub End of the Deal. he agreed to de-
liver the Goods.
Then he made some Inquiries about the
Corporation, and it seemed to be such
fair and abOve-bOard Proposition that he
took many shares of Stock
Oday he is one of the Directors and
Sis at the same Mahogany Table with T.
Lawrence. showing what a Poor Bow NAV
accomplish in this Country if he leaves
Liquor alone and does not waste his
Time.
MORAL: If shy on the Family Name.
pay some Attention TO the Pull
Copyright, 19G3 by Robert Howard Rus
SELF
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11
w A w
LITERARY LETTER.

" "

c ONE great critic-such as George
Brandes, for example-should make
scientific study of literary epidem-
les. To all appearance they are unac-
countable things. and come and go with
something of the mysteriousness and no
little of the terror of those great plaques
that still haunt the imagination of Eu-
rope The most painful visitation of the
kind in recent years has been that of the
historic novel, and now. as that is dying
away, we are threatened with A new one
This time it is the morality or mystery
play, or the play dealing with sacred his
tory. Let us call it, incIusively, the sa-
cred play. A Christmas ago, it will be
recalled. the lambs got into trouble over
their passion play. Who would have
suspected the lambs of such stained-glass
leanings? Since then ''Everyman' has
made ones flesh creep on Broadway. and
King Solomon and his wives have been
exploited for stage purposes. Mary Mag
dalen. as we know. is drawing crowded
houses at the Manhattan theatre and
we are promised MI Stephen Phillips
David and Bathsheba" for the near fu-
ture. Mr.. w. B. Yeats is out with a SYM
bolic play. with what one might call
Christian nihilism for its spiritual lesson,
emitted w mere There Is Nothing Mr.
CopIey Green's "Pontius Plate" is pub
lished this week by the Scott-Thaw COM
pany, and Mr.. Lawrence Housman. I'M
Enthusiastically known to the world as
the author OF AN EnglishwOman's Love
Letters" is himself again with the ma
tivity play of Bethlehem" No wonder
that Mrs. Osborne's Play House" has
failed to attract so serious generation.
Mr.. Housman has been saving his say
on the subject of the sacred play in the
London Daily Mail. and one has no diff
Guilty in agreeing with his theoretic prop
osition- Somewhat quantity he premises
that the religious origin of the stage has
been forgotten. 1t is to be feared that it
has. Yet. he continues. why should me-
dunn of presenting spiritual truth TO the
people which the church of old time
found so effective be lost 10 a cause that
indeed can afford to neglect no single
means? Why should it be less practic-
able OF permissible to present the beauty
Of holiness upon the stage than-the beau
ty of unholiness? Why should the devil
have all the good times? Theoretically
there is nothing to do but to agree with
Mr.. Housman, and. practically, there has
been -Everyman" to show how high
spiritual matters may be Electrically pre-
sented with thrilling reverence and singu-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11
SECTION TWO

n nee there were two Boys growing up
in a large City. One had been born
" with a Silver Spoon in his Mouth.
At that time Silver was regarded as a
valuable Metal.
The other Boy had no Assets to speak
Of. but be had very wisely chosen TO- be
born under the Stars and Stripes. where
the Roor Boy with a gnawing Ambition
gets every Show for His White Alley.
This Urchin was named Jimmy. and
even at the Age Of he was looking for
ward 10 the Time when he would be big
enough to kill a Policeman.
Jimmy resided with his Parents in a
bunny little one-story Shack. He went
barefoot every Year as soon as the Frost
got out Of the Ground. and his favorite
Stamping Ground was the Railway Yards
one OF the Joys Of his Childhood was TO
get together a Gang of Hicks and throw
Stones at the Brakemen. He was a mem
Der Of q tough Ball Team and knew how
10 play Seven-Up-
Across the Street from where Jimmy
lived there was a magnificent Brick
House with Mansard Roof.
Within this Palace dwelt a Boy who
had been handicapped with the Name OF
7. Lawrence However it was hoped that
his Money would carry him through. F.
Lawrence had been warned against JIM
my His Mama often took him OF her
Knee and told him how one OF his An
cestors turned the Water into Long ISL
and Sound and that 1t was his Duty to
guard the Family Name and not speak to
People who worked by the Day.
So +. Lawrence would stand at the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11

when raking In the pot, and lust thought
II my duty to investigate After she had
raised me about a dozen times I called
her The rest laid down right at the
start. She threw her hand in the deck
started for the pot. One moment mad
am ventured. Tt is impossible. unless
there are five queens in this deck. for 7
happen TO nave one myself Besides. I
had four kings. She nearly tainted eb[
had been cheating all night Nv not con.
tanned over $780, I put it in my pocket
and went home
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11

Pered Patrician who had been wont to
1eer at the Poor Boy and treat him with
Contempt" He had been leading a life Of
Idleness and Iuxurv instead of getting
out and hustling for the Taxpayer ana
Workingman- But his Pride was due to
hard Fall Humble Jimmy. the Gas
House Boy. had a lovely Dose of Poetic
Justice fixed 10 for T. Lawrence.
1t appears that f. Lawrence. after the
Death of his Father. succeeded to the
Presidency Of Corporation organized to
trim TIE Public. This Corporation needed
a Renewal of the Franchise. 1t had to
get the Renewal or put up the Green
Blinds and that is why +. Lawrence goI
busy.
Everyone told him that he would have
to see Jimmy. There would be nothing
doing until Jimmy had been Seen and
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11
BY =. P. DUNE

wondhrin' whether 7 wud have ham an
eggs or liver an bacon, an hOpin' 1 cud
have both. Well. we set down at tn Ia
BILE an I tucked me napkin into me coll
lar so that I wudden't have 10 chase it
down in me shoes Il I got laushin' at
anything funny durin' an egg, an
SQUARED away. ARE We hunry?' says
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11
BY GEORGE RD E.

Ticket or else there was an Ambulance
Can' One Spring. while +. Lawrence was
down On the Riviera. trying to conceal the
Fact that he had been born in America.
Jimmy stacked the Cards on the Pious
Element and was elected Alderman.
Ills real Career now opened up. He
gathered about him all the Local States
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11

book along. The guest is well known
soldier. blunt and straightforward. The
next day he told me all about it. II sup
posed that in such distinguished COM
pany we would have 10-cent limit al the
utmost. so imagine my aStOniShment
when the hostess announced S10l There
were six at my table-three of either sex.
Their names are very often in the papers
and they drive in carriages. One woman
won everything Never saw such luck or
skill She had curious way of throw
ing her cards, face down, in the deck,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11
Mr.. DOOLEY ON OATS AS FOOD.
GkIIY HATS a breakfast food?'' asked
w Mr. Hennrssv

GkIIY HATS breakfast food?' asked
w Mr.. Hennessy.
1t depinds on who We ARE. -
said Mr.. DOoley. In ye'er case its amy
thlng to eat that ye're not goin' to have
f'r dinner or supper. But in tn case iv
tn rest iv this impeeryal raypublic. It's
tn on'y amusement they have. IT'S most
" IN advertiser in tn pa-apers lis
what We see on tn billboards. It's III
inspiration iv pothry an art In a
wurrud. it's oats
wint over to have breakfast New
years mornin' at Joyce's. TIL air was
sharp an though I'm not much given to
reflectin' on vittles. regardin' thin more
as a medium fr what drink I take
with thin thin. anything else, be tn
time got to tn dure 1 was runnin' over
IN me mind bill iv fare an kind iv
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11

about 50 cents. Now. his Jewels alone
Inquired up Loo and his Clothes had Silk
Lining. He owned a Buffet in which he
had TO use four Men behind the Bar and
sometimes the Slot Machines alone gave
him a Rake-off of $50 a Day
And how about +. Lawrence. the PAM
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11
WOMEN AT POKER
New York Press.)

Spend the evening with US" wrote
Mrs. V, society swell. and wound up with
this: I'VE indulge in little game Of
draw after supper. so bring your check
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11

later I had a peeryod fv Hungareen. a
chimically pure dish made " tn ex-
teeryor iv bath towels. We all have our
little tastes an enthusyasms in the mat
ter Of breakfast foods, depindin' on what
pa-apers we read an what biIIboards
we've seen iv late believe Sunny Jim
cud jump higher on Cuff thin on Almost
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11

is soldsmith's work. Its form Is definite,
its impression definite, even precise. You
can, so 10 say, put your finger on the
poetry-here and here. Such are the
great, and little, concrete poets. With
the poets of the other kind, however. the
impression is vague and elusive You are
conscious of the presence Of poetry, but
you can hardly tell where it is Like
woodland scent, it comes and goes. with.
as l said, tantalizing elusiveness. Such
poet IS Mr. W B.. Yeats, whose title,
The Wind Among the Reeds well de-
scribes the imaginative impression of his
own wistful verse, and such poet is Mr..
Bliss Carman. At times no one can beat
MIN at the striking phrase. the exact
clear-blown INDEPENDENTLY. as in his
new book, in the feIicitous exactness of
his woodland lore-but, for the most part,
his muse haunts rather than inhabits his
poetry. Her voice is always somewhere
on the air. and her white robe fluttering
somewhere among the myrtles, but it is
no little OF her charm. maybe that we
seldom if ever see her face. Of the more
positive qualities of Mr.. Csrman's poetry.
its music, its verbal charm. its bloeing
freshness of atmosphere, its happy-hearc-
edness and its general natural magic, I
must take some other opportunity to
speak. It must suffice for now to say
that they are all 20 be found once more
in his new volume
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11
7 am thy hermit thrush
Ending no song"

and Mr.. Carman's stanchest admirers
need. not hesitate to confess that a GER
tain artistic incompleteness is one of the
characteristics, I do not say defects, of
his work There are, of course, many
kinds of poets. but there are two broad
ly marked classes that may be described
as the epigrammatic and the per-
vasive- The work of one class is weighed
and finished to a word. When great it is
architecture or sculpture; when small it
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11
BY RICHARD LIE eALLlENNE.

lar drs matte attractiveness. But there is
this to remember: Allowing the genuine
dramatic vitality of "Everyman. no lit
tie of its effectiveness was due TO the pre-
pared receptiveneSs of the audience. a re-
ceptiveness somewhat antiquarian in its
quality, and ready to be pleased and i'm
pressed by the naivete of an ancient &c
clesiastical method of preaching he'll fire.
The audience was less at a play than TAX
ing a part in a play itself, and it was
impressed less in its modern self. so 10
say, than in its imagined capacity as a
medieval audience trembling before the
thunders Of holy church. The prologue
and epilogue of the learned doctor and
the manner in which the players passed
through the audience. and the two priests
silently sitting at the wings, went very
far 10 produce this illusion. Now. how
would it fare with new morality play,
written by a living man. and with no
such imaginative associations TO mediae-
valize the audience, remains to be seen.
Mr.. Housman's Bethlehem is. hear. to
be produced in New York So we shan
have an opportunity of putting the matter
to - test
Meanwhile. while some of our Younger
poets are dabbling with that Catholic
renaissance" which on its artistic side
came in with the -RaphaeIites-had not
Mr. Swinburne his "Masque of Queen
Bersabe: Miracle Play as far back as
Poems and Ballads"-Mr Bliss Carman
remains faithful to the old sunshine of
the Greek world and the rustic Pan.
Great Pan is deadr' cry the young mir
acle playwrights. But Mr.. Carman sets
his sweet woodland pipe to his lips and
says them nay. His new volume the first
Of
Pan IL C Page & Coz. in compact of
his familiar tantalizing felicity I say
tan.alizing for A reason tas.t wouit1 seem
to have occurred to Mr. Carman- himself.
Ia a PREDATORY invocation to the over
lord" Mr.. Carman says:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1903-01-11

The January Century should be looked
at by anyone interested IN Poe, for the
sake of the first installment of 1.-The Poe
Chivcrs Papers, introduced by Professor
Wcodberry- They serve little purpose OK
cept TO recall a pOmpOusIy absurd friend
of Poe and once more to illustrate Poe's
badness as a critic. Think of his declar-
ing Hengist Horne's Orion "a work
superior even 10 Miiton-s Paradise
Los, and once more we are confronted
with his grossly exaggerated estimate Of
TennySon- Another curiosity of criticism
Is TO be found in the advertisements of
the Century company. ApropOs "Lovev
Mary'-the new book by the author Of
Mrs Wiggs-the public is told that it
furnishes more such gems as I've made
II practice 10 put all ms worries down
in the bottom OF my heart. then sit on tha
10 an smile Such gems Shade Of
Mrs. POyseri Has her racy country wit
brought us at last to such tedious imita-
ton homespun as this2 It Is pity that
so influential g. house a the Century corn
pany should thus encourage the emas-
culation of American taste by the boom
ing OF such fatuOuS DrOvinCialism
Copyright, 19O3 by Robert Howard Rus
sen.)