davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
INDEX 10 NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meetings-Solomon' Lodge No. l, F..
6, a. NJ; Hebrew Benevolent Society;
Irish-American Friendly Society; Geor-
gia Historical Society.
Special Notices-P. p. p, Lippman
Drug Company; Printers in Demand in
Florida; Ship Notice, Strachan & Co..
Agents Confidential Loans, Metropoli
tan Loan Co.
Business Notices-Protect Your
Sight, DR. NJ. Schwabs Son; Watch
Chains and Fobs, r. Van Keuren & Co.
This house Is Built on Property
Purchased From Us-Savannah Invest
ment Co.
Fishing Tackle-At Lattimore's.
Featherless busters Edward
Lovells Sons.
The Observed of All Observers-Wal-
tham Watches.
Auction Sales-Handsome Brick Res
idence, by c. H. Dorsett. Auctioneer.
Savannah Theater-"Maid Marian"
To night.
SilVerware-The Gorham Co.
Foods-Grape-N Nuts: Force.
Medical-Pinkham Remedy; Peruna;
Hyomei; Paines Celery Compound;
Wine of Cardui; Stuarts Catarrh Tab
lets.
Wanted, Employment Wanted, For
Rent, For Sale, Lost, Personal. Miscel-
laneous.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
BRokEN LEvEEs AND FLOODS.

1t begins to look as if the govern
ment engineers had not solved the
problem of the Mississippi river. For
days our dispatches have given ac-
counts of the steadily rising flood of
that great stream and of the appre-
tensions of overflows that exist among
the people all along its course from St
Louis to the Gulf. And now we are
beginning to get accounts of the
breaking of the 1evees. Breaks of a
half a mile in width seem to be of
common occurrence and breaks of two
miles in width are becoming quite fire.
quent
1t really looks as If the present rise
in the river would witness the sweep
ing away of a large portion of the lev
ees which have been constructed by
the government and the states at an
outlay amounting to more than $780,
100000. The wonder is that the levees
stand the strain upon them as well as
| they do. They are composed for the
greater part of their length of the soft
| alluvia1 soil that has been brought
down by the river and deposited upon
the adjacent lands. After a few days
of the pressure of the water upon
them they become water-soaked, and
hence yielding. 1t is not strange there
fore that miles of them are eaten
away by the swiftly moving current or
crumble into the flood which distrib-
utes them along it's path to the sea.
When the government undertook to
solve the problem of the Mississippi
river doubt was expressed by engin-
GERS of ability that it could be solved
if the use of levees was TO be a part
of the solution. The plan, however, for
controlling the river included levees,
and the levees are now being put to
test. From the Geographic accounts
il looks as if the portion of them that
will be left when the food subsidies
would be so small that it would hardly
form the nucleus of a new levee sys-
TEN.
1t is practically impossible for any
one who has not seen the Mississippi
at the time of a flood to form an idea
VI lht NOluiIle u water tIldJ II carries
to the sea. Indeed, in places it looks
like sea itself. 1t drains four great
basins. the drainage of any one of
which in times of heavy rains or melt
ing SHOWS is sufficient to raise the riv-
er to an alarming hight. When the
drainage of all of them at one time is
unusually large it can readily be seen
that levees must be strong to hold the
stream within the limits man has
fixed for it.
There is some compensation. how
ever, for the destruction done by the
floods. The silt which the river car
ries from the mountains is an exceed
ingly good fertilizer, and the lands
over which it is spread retain their
fertility to an extraordinary degree. If
the water would leave the lands in
time for planting there would not be
such an effort to prevent overfows,
but that it seldom does. It is rather
the rule that the lands are too wet for
cultivation until the time for planting
has past.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
A Loyal BacksIider.

Brother. said the exhorter to the
fearful man on the front seat; broth
er. l take it that you have been led
to a realization of your sinful ways"
Il have sir; 1 have" answered the
repentant one, according to Judge.
Il gather" continued the exhorter,
from your sorrowful visage that the
error of your ways is bowling you down
and that you seek relief
Yes, sir" sighed the erring one.
Then come forward and give your
testimony
I'D like to, parson," confded the
other in a stage whisper; I'D like to.
But you see Elder HolIeran has been
doin' all the exhortin' in our neigh
bcrhood for the last fifteen years, an
he has always done all my convertin'.
L reckon l might just as we'll stay
backslid for another month an then
have him catch me up as usual when
he comes. Besides, he might not alto
gether like it for you to be interferin'
in his business, specially as I'm one O.
his stock brands from the burnin'."
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

BRIGHT BITS.

-Maid-Where'd We get tn valen,
tine, Katie?
Cook-To look at the skewer tru de
heart I'd say it come from de butch
er.-Brooklyn Life.
Church: What is the stuff that
heroes are made of?
Gotham: Well, if we can believe the
advertisements, it is some of those
new breakfast cereals. - Yonkers
Statesman.
Instructor (of class in physiology
What do you know concerning the
sebaceous follicles?
Boy at foot of class (making a wild
guess)-Sebaceous follicles is the name
of the new senator from the state OF
shington.-Chicago Tribune.
-"Ah! darling" said the Count de
Spaghetti to the heiress whose pros
pect had just become deceased: "let
me bear your sorrows ?" Bear my sor-
rows? Yes, yes, Count" she exclaimed,
apprehensively; but share your Dor
rows, never, never!"-Baltimore News.
u don't believe that man ever de-
ceived anybody in his life said the
enthusiastic friend. And yet" said
Senator Sorghum, you want me to
give him employment. You don't sup
pose l have time to teach him the rud-
iments OF the business, do your
Washington Star.
George" said Mrs. Ferguson. 1.-The
people next door to us sent over again
this morning for some II haven't
any time to talk about the people next
door," broke in Mr.. Ferguson. I'm
not asking you to talk about them -
she rejoined, with firmly set lips, "Ill
do the talking. Tribune.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
He Obeyed Orders.

One of our well-known contractors
and builders, while experimenting the
erection of a large brick building, was
approached one day by a late arrival
from Ireland, who applied for a job,
and was employed as a hodcarrier, aft
er being instructed that he must al
ways carry up certain number of
bricks in his bod, says the Philadel-
phia Ledger.
One morning the supply of bricks
ran out, and, although doing his best,
the man could not find the usual num-
Der to make up his load. After gath
ering ever brick in sight, he found he
was still one brick short of the usual
number.
In answer to a loud yell from the
street, one of the workmen on the
fifth story staging shrieked down:
What do you want?"
Throw me down wan brick" said
Pat, pointing to his load, ito make me
number good"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
Rather Ancient.

Some few years ago, says illustrated
Bits, on one of our Indian troopships,
an after-dinner argument was raised
as to which officer could boast of the
most ancient name. A young naval
officer, thinking it rather hard that
the army should have it all their own
way, protested that he could lay claim
to the oldest name. He said:
My name is Ham-ICdwin Ham,
The army officers taking his idea, a
young lieutenant jumped up, and says
he
My name is Adam-Adam Storr"
Then our genial first Huff" came to
the front, and said
Gentlemen, have you ever heard OF
the saying, AS old as the hill?" My
name is Hill"
He was speedily vanquished by a jol-
ly captain of a cavalry regiment, who
brought out very quietly:
You are all in the shade. My name
is Ginning-Benjamin Ginning. 1 sigr
myself B. Ginning"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

A story of how the present King
of England in the days of his callow
youth was sent to a stable to smoke
is told in Modern Society.
From his boyhood the King has been
an inveterate smoker, and at one time
was seldom seen without a cigar in
his mouth, but now he is limited to
five Havanas a day, one of which he
always smokes at dessert. Thirty or
more years ago smoking was discounte-
nanced by old-fashioned people,
among whom was the late Lord Derby,
who regarded it as vulgar and un-
pleasant habit.
On one occasion, while paying a
visit to the earl, the then Prince of
Wales proposed a cigar after dinner.
Lord Derby very dryly regretted that
his house included no smoking room,
and that he could only suggest the
stables as a suitable place to smoke
in. And thither the Prince, with the
greatest good humor. adjourned for
the postprandial cigar.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
CURRENT COMMENT.

The New York Commercial Qnd.)
says: Mr.. ]. Whitaker Wright, the
London promoter under arrest here,
has an allegation pending against him
of contributing to a deficit of 500 00O-
900 in his foreign financial achieve
ments. He is certainly all right-from
the standpoint of some New York fl
nanciers. "
The Albany IN. W Argus (Dem.)
says: Mr.. Cannon criticizes the
unanimous consent custom of the
Senate. Mr.. Tillman gets back at him.
by pointing out that nothing goes in
the House, except by unanimous con-
sent of a few leaders. And the abuse
of both customs is condemned by the
unanimous consent of the people
The Richmond Cva.) Times-D Dispatch
<Dem.) says: Republicans may fiat
ter themselves that free silver is dead
and we believe that II is. but If there
be a money squeeze this year with
disastrous results TO trade and indus
try, there will be agitation of the
money question i'm some other FORM
and II VIII mean trouble for the Repub-
licans."
The Louisville Courier-Journal
sDem) says: The proper prepare
lions Of bills is a matter which should
receive more attention from every leg
islauYe body in the country. Every
one should have "A committee 20 see
that bills are 80 wOrded as 10 be clear
ia meaning, and that the meaning Is
that intended by the Legislature. But
no preenufiOn can render unnecessary
the Vigilance ~ an honest Governor.
who not only reads the bilia submitted
- him. but also Is competent q know
what tllsS mean
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
For Another Reason.

1t is said that to attain proficiency
in the game of golf requires either
the exercise of a great deal of self
control or of EXPLANATIONS which
would hardly fall like music on polite
ears, says Tit Bits. Ardent lovers of
the game fiercely deny this statement,
but recent happening seems to prove
that there is some truth in it.
A well-known military man, who was
not very good player, was flattered
to find quite a crowd of well-dressed
strangers following him round the
links one day.
Il hope he said CALAMITY that
shall play we'll enough to reward you"
"Oh! it isn't that. major" rejoined
one. I'VE don't care a hang about
your game; we came out to listeni"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

One of the bills that failed to pass
at the recent session of Congress was
introduced by Representative Brown
low Of Tennessee. And parenthetical-
ly, ii may be observed that during the
fGfty-seventh Congress, Tennessee
members added much to the gaiety and
interest of the sessions. But as to Mr.
Brownlow's bill: According TO its title,
its purpose was Ito empower the Sec
rotary Of War TO allow burial of wives
of deceased enlisted men in national
cemeteries in the same graves as de-
ceased soldiers" When the bill came
10 the attention Of Secretary Root he
was somewhat surprised. as he had no
desire whatever 10 institute the suffice
Ia this country and had never heard OF
any desire on the part Of wives OF sol
oilers 20 be- buried ia the same graves
With their deceased husbands. Read
ing Gown the bill however. the Score
iafy Of War learned that the women
Wh9n Nr. Br0Wnlow really desired -
nay" buried were the deceased wives"
~ soldiers then the seorotary breath
~ saaier
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
TME MoRNING NEWs is pubIished

Tai; MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year. and served to
subscribers in TIE city. or sent by mail:
one week. IS cents. one month. 20 cents,
three months, $500, six months, $500.
one year. $500.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail, six
times a week (without Sunday issue.
one month, so cents, three months, S1.5O;
six months, $500; one year, $500.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week (Monday and Thursday. by mail.
one year. S1O0.
Subscriptions payable in advance.
Remit by money order, check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
local or reading notices, amusements
and classified column, 10 cents g. line
Fourteen lines of agate type-equal to
one inch in Depths the standard of
measurement. Classified column adver-
tisements 1 cent a word each ihser-
zion. Every word and figure counted
No advertisement accepted for less than
Is cents week days, 25 cents Sundays.
Contract rates and discounts made
known on application at business office.
orders for delivery of the Morning
News to either residence or place of
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 30. Any irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately report
ed.
Letters and kilograms should be adj
dressed "MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row.
New York City. II. c. Faulkner. Man
ager.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

The shake-up in the steamboat in
spection service recalls to a contem-
porary that the sustem of inspections
by government officials was instituted
nearly sixty years ago, as the result
of agitation started by an Ohio river
boat captain. 1t seems he was blown
up in an attempt to make his boat
outrun a rival, and when he had re-
covered from his injuries he concluded
that safeguards We're absolutely nee
essary for the protection of life and
property on steamboats,. He suggested
the inspection service and for many
years was himself an inspector.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
THE SENSE OF HUMOR.

Nine persons in ten will laugh at see
ing someone stumble and fall on the
street. The discontinue of another, no
matter by what means, is almost sure
to arouse merriment in the beholder.
This trait of human nature is played
upon in the rough-andtumble farce
comedy where one player sticks a
another player is tripped and thrown
to the floor, and still another is padded
with a split shingle. How is this
coarse, not to say brutal, idea of humor
to be accounted for? Is it really fun
NY to see a man fan down, and per-
haps hurt himself seriously? Is there
anything really humorous in a vicious
dog chasing a tramp to tear his flesh
or a nervous and fretful horse throwing
an inexpert rider over his head? And
yet people laugh at such things. The
countryman who steps from a moving
street car the wrong way and in conse-
quence gets hard bump on the pave
ment is morally certain to be laughed
at by every person who witnesses the
incident. Why?
Mr.. Earl Barnes, an educator in
Philadelphia, says that people laugh at
the discontinue and misfOrtunes of
others because of "undeveloped SYM
pathy." AT the same time the sense of
humor has not been developed in them.
1t seems, according to Mr.. Barnes
ideas, that sympathy and real humor
are closely allied. and that in a ma
jority of persons neither is developed
until the person is we'll advanced in
life, if, indeed, either is ever developed.
There are many persons who die of old
age in whom the sense of humor never
gets beyond the hcrse-play stage.
The first jokes, according to Mr..
Barnes, must be ''tickled and jiggled"
into the infants nervous system. The
sensation is purely muscular, but it is
as much a joke to the infant as is the
joke of the comedian to an adult. The
next stage of humor is when the child
sees something unusual, such as a man
jumping up and down. The third stage
of humor is the 'incongruous combina-
tion," such as a boy with a girls hat
on. The fourth period of development,
in the Barnes theory, is the discomfit-
ure of some other person-the period to
which we have already referred, and
beyond which so many persons never
advance. The practical joke belongs to
this classification. The fifth stage
brings in the pun, and in the sixth and
last stage is the final and most highly
developed humor.
Mr.. Barnes asserts that humor should
be cultivated in children with as much
care as any other accomplishment. On
their humorous sides more than any
other, many grown people are imma-
ture; and it is because the sense of
humor has been neglected during child
hood. Appreciation of humor broad
ems the life and refines the sensibilities:
1T makes its possessor good company
and a sympathetic companion.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

1t is astonishing how many persons
in New York lost a $1,000 bill on an
Erie Railroad ferryboat the 9TH
er day. a porter on the boat
found bill of that denomination and
turned it over to an officer of the COM
pany. The company, knowing it had
not lost the bill, gave publicity to the
matter and asked the owner to come
forward and prove property. More
than a hundred applicants have APP
peared, each claiming to have lost a
bill of the kind on the day and at the
place in question, but none of them
has been able to give the bills num-
Der or otherwise describe it particu-
larly. In this condition of affairs it
seems likely that the company will
keep the bill for its honesty in adver-
Using the finding
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

II is not necessary for a man to use
firearms, or sticks or stones 10 be a
rioter. THE man who shouts, Hur-
rahl' during a riot Is just as guilty as
the man who fires a gun" declared
Judge Bechtel. IN the court Of Potts
Vile, Pa. the other day. as he SEN
fenced five rioters 70 prison. The safe
thing for a man 20 DO when there Is
riot brewing is TO keep his mouth shut
and his hands la his pockets.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

DR. Davidson. the new archbishop
OF Canterbury, England. in an address
81 the banquet following his enthrone-
ment made the rather refnarksbio
statement thai the first inteIligepee HI.
received ~ his elevation 10 BIZ blgb ar.
nee came % the form ~ a cossrratula-
~ i4sssaes from Bishop Doane o.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

The Buffalo police may be forced to
accept the theory suggested by the
family physician, that Mr. Burdick
committed suicide by cracking his own
skull, and then stretched himself on
the couch and covered his dead body
with cushions and rugs. They don't
seem to be able to show anybody else
who did ii.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

An interesting story of election meth
DDS comes from Rhode Island, which
is about as big as a fair-sized town.
ship when the tide is out. 1t seems
that one candidate-said to be a rural
candidate, though how they distin-
guish between things urban and subur-
ban in Rhode Island is a mystery
went around just before election with
a box of poker chips. The chips We're
distributed among electors who prom
Used to vote right" Later on the
distributor of the discs of celluloid was
elected, whereupon each chip immedi-
ately assumed a value of SO and was
redeemed at that amount
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

The Supreme Court of Massachusetts
has taken official cognizance of the
beauty of a woman, in a decision inst
handed down. The woman was plain
tiff in a suit against a railroad cor
poration. In its decision the court
says: 1.-The female plaintiff is a good
looking young woman, who stood alone
against all the evidence, direct and cir
cumstantial and the jury must have
been carried off their feet by SYM
pathy." In another place the decision
says: Moreover. she was a cookbook
ing and good-appearing young woman.
against a corporation" The Young
woman, Mrs. Julia OToole, therefore
has court decision affirming her
beauty; fact which possibly miti-
gates her disappointment at the deci-
sion being against her suit. The ques-
ton arises, however. would the verdict
of the lower court have been affirmed
had Mrs. o'Toole been a homely wom-
an?
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
Daniel Hogan.
Ready-fo- Wear Dept.

Is all aoloom with new spring fancias
from the artists and the manufact,,~
ers' hands in Skirts. Shirt Waists and
Undermuslins. Our exhibit this waaL
of these Indispensable garments for Ia
dies comfort and convenience will he
by far the most excellent we have
ever made.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

Notwithstanding the efforts Of many
administrations 10 get the isfnmian
canal under way President RoOssyelrs
win get the credit Of having inaugu-
rated the building OF IL.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

The indications for Georgia for to-
day are for fair weather, with fresh
southeast to south winds. Eastern
Florida, showers, with variable winds.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
DAMASK MADRAS

New shipment Mercerized Damask
Madras, in Brocades and Stripes
Looks like silk and washes like
linen, and will make beautiful
shirt waists. The 35c quality for
NJ
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

6 The favorite song of the fugitive from
Justice should be, Put Me Off at Buff
falo."
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
SILK WAISTS

The greatest variety of styles from
the Plain Glistening Liberty Satin
to the richest Peau de Sole and
Crepe de Chine combinations from
$0.Ue 10 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. $40 M
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
Ccr0fuLd
It is commonly inherited.

1t is commonly inherited.
Few are entirely free from It.
Pale, weak, puny children are
afflicted with it in nine cases out of
ten, and many adults suffer from it.
Common indications are punches in
the neck, assesses, cutaneous erup-
tons, infamed eyelids, sore ears,
ricketts,, catarrh, wasting, and general
debility.
Hoods JdrSdpGriiId
and Pills
Eradicate it, positively and absolute
ly, This statement is based on the
thousands of permanent cures these
medicines have wrought.
"My daughter had scrotula, with eleven
sores on her neck and about her ears. Hoods
Sarsaparilla was highly recommended and
she took it and was cured. She is now in
good health" MRS. ]. II. JONES, Parker
City, Ind. 3
Hoods SarsapariIfa promises to
cure and keeps the promise.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19
WAISTS

New and stylish White Oxford and
Mercerized Damask Waists. Also
White Linen and Fancy Madras
and Embroidered Lawn Waists.
from Que to Observation-Disclosures IN
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1903-03-19

Senator Tillman's bump of self-es-
TEEN is we'll developed. In an inter-
view printed in the Charleston Post a
day or two ago he is thus quoted in
part, in connection With what Repre-
sentative Cannon called his ''hold-up'
of the Senate 10 secure the payment
of South Cardinals old war claim Of
$4,000: You know South Carolina
has not heretofore had a representa-
tive in the Senate since 1868. They
have had men there. but they could
do nothing" This is a bouquet to
himself and bunch of thistles to
Hampton, Butler and the other Sena-
tors who have sat in the Senate from
South Carolina since the Civil War.