New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1903-11-15


errands
or these city clergymen I happen to be one.
Partly for my own amusement and partly for
the purpose Of compiling material for this ar
ticle. have kept for the last year record of
the number. names. addresses. erranGs and pc
culiarities Of those who have thus called on me.
In that book in that short time alone there are
TWO thousand entries Moreover. this is only
one OF more than forty churches in the city
where such office hours are kept. have made
the entries under half dozen headings Of as
many different groups. To Gull few examples
from each group and set them forth in print
may illustrate some Of the inner workings Of a
ciergymsn's profession little known TO laymen.
The stories. note. all have to do with strangers:
20 cite the names tell or ridicule the errands
Of any other class would be a breach OF conf
dence objectionable
First. as 4 group come those who may be
called by no other name so appropriate as that
of cranks. Ny interviews with these are often
times embarrassing for 81 seems TO be the privi-
loge Of any man with any hobby, queer device
or scheme or project to approach the clergy as
his brethren" one I have in mind was a
metaphysical member faith healer" and
what not. who assured me that there was a
mental bond between himself and me; another
was seeking encoura cement 10 start branch
OF the Church OF the Science Of Being" al
Coney Island. and wanted money from me; an
other. a woman came TO consult me- about what
she would cali the --NIillennisl Trust" in whose
palmy days she assured me every one would
sit under his vine and fig tree
Still others Of this class, a few, have had that
queer light in their eyes that cannot he mis-
taken; ii bespeaks insanity. They have gone
daft over theories, inventions. discoveries.
patents. etc. one woman I remember had
model OF a curious folding bed; il had ma
chine attached which was to induce sleep by
stimulating the motion Of sleeping car on the
second night - Of a journey. Another.
woman. had invented a repeating clock and
asked Tor letters Of introduction TO two Sena-
tors in Washington. once woman came TO
INC in great distress TO complain that some good
people who had given her pension had been
unreasonable enough to stop it when they
found that she was spending all the money to
pay. in instruments, the sum Of $500 for a
building lot in North Dakota, where it was
her purpose TO build = church and educate her
son. now six years old. to be the pastor of ii.
There is second general class. composed of
those who may be called appropriately sharpers.
They ask for money. But the size Of the
amounts they ask for diferentiates them from a
group OF common beggaTs far below them. They
are well dressed and well hammered and we'll
story
which to extort money from the unwary, One
] recall bland creature with this suave
story: He botanist in the service Of the
state Of Kansas. who had got this far on his
way 10 South America. He said he had been
robbed last night and needed SO to pay his
hotel bill he came 10 me because he knew
knew tho pastor OF his church at home. And
80 I did. To verify his story he took from his
pocket picture Of the man he mentioned. He
said il gift: they were such good friends.
When looked more closely I discovered that
s. was hslf tone portrait carefully cut from a
page Of an old magazine and pasted on a piece
~ cardboard. often these persons have gone
10 INFINITE pains collecting details Of story
the apparent truth Of which would deceive
tho very elect" One comes n suspect that any
such story is false. yet he must listen 10 every
ono. because, while. TO he sure, most of them
sre false there is always the possibility Of any
ono being true; for in city like this there are
truths that are stranger than fiction.
third general class is composed Of those
who come ostensibly in tho interest Of q family
at home; husbands who out Of work. whose
wives are sick at home and who need money to
nay doctor bills; parents whose children are
starving and women in tears whose husbands
have just died and who must have funeral ex-
penses paid. Sometimes some curious things
belief ami the tenacity with which he holds it,
one man. for example told me that he was a
Protestant and his wife vas Catholic, but
not being able 10 discover which was he as
sured me tentatively that either he or she
would change their religion If il would serve
any purpose" Another recall in this connec-
ton man who protested. in order to curry
favor. that I am = good Protestant. and me
wife before me-
Such persons are honest. but foolish il was Of
She wise, dishonest ones meant TO tell For
instance. one day woman came TO me who said
Fhe was the wife Of English man Of letters
an author whose book she was selling She
had no book along: she was merely taking or
ders. She told Of tragedy which lay behind
their poverty and drew the circumstances IL
detail Of present penury. He was a literary
genius, she the daughter Of an ". s. p, etc.
They had been defraUded by brother while
1his far from home now had no money and
oid not know which way to turn. She talked
with good strong English accent hut thought
tie accent sounded studied. Her dress attract
&C my attention also for she wore great cloak
with collar turned about her neck a heavy
Neil before her face and gloves, the wrists %
which she carefully kept drawn to meet her
sleeves. 1 rose and innocently placed myself
between her ana the door, and doing so, 1 acct
dentally - stepped on her toe. Thrown thus
suddenly Of her guard and forced by the pain
90 be natural she broke out with an exclama ton
IN broad carky dialect. then accused her Of
hypocrisy and bade her lift her vef-she was as
black coal.
Another woman once told me q story that so
touched me that I went off home with her. There
found in the centre OF room a coffin with
ldllid face beneath the lid and three small chill
dren crowded around as nourners. I gave the
emily all the money that / carried and came
40 Is