davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-17
Some "reminiscences Of a
Veteran Press Association
Manager The Louisiana
PurchaseExposition and the
Chicago Worlds Fair Com
pared. :. :. :. :. :.

countries across the water would be
more than abundant. The fact that one
important exhibit has already arrived in
speaks for itself I doubt If ever be-
fore a single exhibit, however unimpor-
tant, was on the ground full year in
advance Of the opening of q worlds fair.
Mr.. C1eveland's Happy Speech.
At the press banquet referred to Mr..
Cleveland made most charming and
humorous speech. Those who knew only
the serious side of his nature were sur
prised by his facility of expression, his
ughtness of touch, and the thorough
spirit of good nature which pervaded
what he said. The speech was decided
hit In fact, Mr.. Cleveland's reception
In st. Louis would have turned the head
of a less weII-seasoned man of affairs.
for he made hits everywhere he went.
The train on which the Washington cor
respondents went to st. Louis preceded
by about four hours the one on which
Mr.. CIeyeland and his friends were pro-
ceeding. All along the line in the va
rious States through which we passed
the entire population of the adjacent
country seemed to have gathered at the
stations TO see the ex-President. Their
disappointment upon learning that he
was not upon our train was always
greatly relieved when Col. E. H. Hay, of
Washington, graciously went out of his
way to explain that Mr.. Cleveland's
train was only a few hours behind US
and counseIed them to be patient.
Occasionally Colonel Hay was mistaken
in the twilight for Mr.. Cleveland, but in
spite Of this embarrassment he never
faltered in his good work of cheering
the hearts of the disappointed by stat
ing that the Baltimore and Ohio was the
road over which Mr.. Cleveland was com
ing and his arrival might safely be
relied on a little later.
Always Convincing.
1.-THE secret of Mr.. Clevelanfls hold
on the public, it seems TO me-" said a
gentleman who sat next to me at the
banquet. us that whether grave or gay,
whether lively or severe, he is always
convincing" This remark carried my
mind back nineteen years and reminded
me of an experience l had with him in
1884. I was on my. way to report the
Democratic national convention at Chi
cago, and stopped over in buffalo as the
guest of Edward H Butler. proprietor
of the Evening News" In the course of
the morning Mr.. Butler said: Governor
Cleveland came up from Albany last
night to spend Sunday in buffalo, and
If you would like to meet him we will go
around to his law Office and have a chat
with him" We had hardly arrived when
It began to rain, and a succession Of
summer showers detained us for an hour
or more. When we finally arose to go
Mr.. Cleveland said: Mr.. Phillips, you
must not print this. but l will say it for
your guidance when you reach Chicago.
- 49, aestat ven. as THINGS are Il,ol,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1903-05-17
The God of JeRnie's Hair.

I.
o, merchant man an miller,
LIES but a little Bit
Ye're welcome 10 your siller
An all the shine of il!
Mine Is a treasure far more fair:
The ripplin' gold of Jenny's hair!
II.
o. wild's the way of riches.
With sorrows MANIFOLD;
We love our winsome witches,
And ye but love your goldi
(Come, kiss me, Jenny-rich an fair,
An ripple out your golden hairl)
atlanta Constitution.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08

Art Design on a Wooden Platter. Not
one of the Fads got past Experimental
Lizzie. She took a Fall out of every
One.
Sometimes, when Arthur would come
down to Breakfast, ready to punish
few Links of Farm Sausage, he would
find in front of him Bowl full of what
looked a good deal like Asbestos Pack
ing"
rs it to eat?" he asked, backing off.
THE surest thing you know" was
the Reply. 1T is Hokopoko. the new
tasteless Breakfastine. and it is rec
commended by all the Dyspeptics and
Physical Wrecks"
Il don't want to get. my dietary
said Arthur. II should prefer to take
my Tips from a good husky Farm
Hand"
/ But this has &C. per cent. of Nitro
Glutine and one Tablespoonful contains
the same Nourishment that may be
found in Is Pounds of Sirloin Steak"
Say, why don't you buy a good,
strong Dog and try these Things on
him?" asked Arthur. Il refuse to take
any more of this Chop Feed. If you
want to get it into me, you'll have to
give me Gas and then inject into my
Arm
So she said she would Compromise by
letting him have some Cereal Sausage.
1t looked just the same as Sausage and
you could not tell the difference until
you started to Eat it.
What with the Health Underwear,
the Electric Belts, the Pillows stuffed
with Pine Cones. etc, ETC.. etc, Ar
thur was constantly reminded of the
Fact that he was being used for expert
mental Purposes.
He did not enjoy a real Let-Up until
little Herbert arrived. When Herbert
was three Days old, Mamma began TO
read Books on the Child Mind. Within
Month she had little Herby propped
up in the Crib doing kindergarten
Stunts with two or three Old Maids off
on the Side Lines, coaching to beat
the Band.
Arthur would butt in occasionally
and try to protect his helpless OFF,
spring and then he would get a hard
Call Down. The Missus had a large
Scrar-Book full of Helpful Hints 20
Amateur Mothers.
She started in at Page I and gave
Herbert the whole Works. Whenever
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08

Remedies up her Sleeve and any time
that Arthur complained of the slight
est Ache or Pain, she lit on him like
a Bee on a Flower and started in with
one of her famous Treatments.
She loved these private Clinics, with
Arthur strapped to the Operating Ia
BILE. He had been blistered in SO many
different Places and handed so many
kinds of Dope that he became Leery
in time and always claimed to be feel
ing Immense, even though he did not
think he would live through the Day.
She had some awful Things rubbed
up for him any time that he showed
up with a Bad Cold. She would give
him Vinegar Tea and a Lump of Su-
gar soaked in Kerosene. Then she
would parboil his Feet and hand him a
few Onion Poultices and put him to
BED with all the Covers over him, and
let him lie there and Sozzle.
Sometimes she almost drove him to
Drink but he did not dare to drink
very much for fear that she would
give him some Secret Cure in his Cot
fee, and thereby rob him of Thirst
which he priced very highly.
The Missus was a firm Believer in
all these How-To Film Flamss that run
in the Monthly Magazines.
How to BeautifY the Home without
spending a Cent.
How to live on rs Cents Week.
How to become a Lady Sandow by
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08

of wars, fanaines, poverty and similar
calamities That was the famous NAL
thusian theory, to which all economists
adhered. Nautilus held that when con-
oitions became so prosr srous tina.
EVERYONE was financially able to mar
nv that the birth rate would increase at
a stupendous rate In his opinion pow
erty was the most effective brake to
regulate this tendency. You have just
asserted that the reverse is true. The
race is threatened, not by the produc-
tivity of the prosperous, but by their
sterility. The discovery of this truth
is as important as the other one to the
effect that competition is impossible
where combination is possible. 1t seems
to me that the old political economy
is dead"
you have trapped me neatly" said
Judge Sawyer, with a smile. II re-
nounced my allegiance TO Nautilus sew
eral years ago, but / still have hopes
for competition. But there is another
interesting phase of the same subject.
Why is II that young persons, more
especially young men In fairly good cir
cumstances, hesitate 10 marry"
because by precept, advice and
warning we have for years been teach
ing them not to, returned Col. Mon
roe promptly. For one public oracle
who has urged marriage / can name
10 YOU twenty who have sounded
words Of caution against II. OF course
we are considering the mar
riageabe young persons who live
IA our cities. There Is no
marriage problem IA the farming
eommunities--at least no serious one.
There nature rules IN the same old
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08
Mail Orders Have Prompt Attention.
GUSTAVE E6KSTE|N & 60,
Is Broughton West.

tations he has to spend his earnings.
Having saved this amount of money he
may then look around for wife. The
choice of a life partner even in small
town or in the country districts where
one knows all his neighbors is serious
matter. but how much more this is true
of a. great city, Where shall he go in
search of a wife? There are plenty of
pretty girls; there are thousands of
young women who would make excel
lent wives, but how shall he discover
them. We found our wives in the
homes of their parents. We knew them
from the time they were little children.
But where is the young woman of his
station in life? Thousands of them are
in the workshops or in the business Of
fees. Do they know anything of house
work? No. Have they passed through
grammar or high schools? Probably
not. Do they attend church services?
The figures show that only small pef-
centage of the population of our great
cities are members of any denomina-
ton. There remains to our young
friend in search of a wife the dance
halls, the public parks, excursion boats,
and street cars, and the hazardous
chance of an accidental acquaintance
which may ripen into an engagement.
Your cautious young man might live to
be so before he would be warranted in
making a proposal. His ardour for
marriage is not famed when his news
papers contain little else than scam
dals and reports of divorce cases. and
when novels and plays depend for pop
ularity on their ingenuity in depicting
marital infidelity or infelicity. Nothing
stands so much in need of a capable
press agent as the institution of mar
rage. / am glad that the President has
volunteered his services"
"And what is your third barrier
which impedes marriages.? asked
Judge Sawyer.
1.-THE insecurity of salaried positions
and OF wage earning employments,"
was the reply. You and / never wor-
ried about the permanency of our jobs.
What proportion OF young men In our
cities to-day feel certain Of their
places a year hence2 The next move OF
some trust may push them aside like
so many discarded letter heads. DO
you remember what happened when
the Plow Trust bought the Lincolnville
factory and shut IL down? Hundreds
OF our citizens. believing themselves
secure for life had married had paid
for or were paying for their homes. In
a day their dreams were shattered.
Some remain here in poverty, others
are scattered ali over the United
States. The workman OF to-day must
be ready TO pack 10 and move AZ A
days notice. He cannot carry a family
on his back. II rs 10 obvious that this
h "a cORent reason why many hesitate
20 marry that need not 80 into de-
tails"
you have named three valid causes
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08
BUSINESS LOCALS.

The Georgia Steam Laundry are
worthy of the large patronage which
they are daily receiving. You are for
tunate to have your clothes laundried
by them.
j. H. Helmken's cafe is a delightful
place to take your meals or regular
hoard. Tables furnished with choicest
table delicacies. Southeast Liberty and
Whitaker.
For rare bargains in all kinds of up
to-date dry goods or ready-to-wear
garments, look up the old reliable Dam
lei Hogan.
The Ieaness Miller shoes for 1adie.
and Turner shoes for men, handled onlv
by A. S. Nichols. the reliable shoe
dealer. Broughton street. west.
Up-to-date footwear at lowest pr,ees
ever heard of at e. ]. Okarma. Dor't
fail to examine our $3.50 and $3.50
shoes. Ill Broughton.
Attend the Richmond Business Col
lege. They fit and prepare you for
the every day duties of life making
your success sure and certain. Act at
once.
NJ. b. Ehrlicher sells the purest wines
and liquors. bottled goods for family
use, All the choicest brands. BY the
pint, quart or gallon. Corner West
Broad and Liberty.
M B. Ehrlicher still takes the lead
on West Broad street. with the finest
table delicacies, fresh eggs and butter:
can't be beat. Try them.
Garfunkel & Sons have secured line
of black and navy all wool etamine
skirts that are worth $1,000; our price
is $3.50.
The Richmond Business College is
daily receiving pupils from North and
South Carolina, Florida. Alabama and
from all over the state of Georgia
Thoroughness is our motto.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08

way. Young persons meet, fall in love,
marry and have children. 1t is a ques-
ton of selection. In the cities almost
insurmountable barriers stand in the
way of the young man who seeks a
I.alp-mate and would raise a family.
have in mind four such obstacles
which you and did not have to meet,
neither did our friend Jenkins"
Il think l can name the first one,'
said Judge Sawyer: THE selection OF
a wife"
THAT is the most important of the
four, but it comes second on my list, !"
responded the colonel. Our young
friend who lives in the city must first
save money. Everyone has told him
so, and the advice is sound. He needs
ten times as much as we did at his
age. / had s90 when the minister said
the words which gave me the right to
call Mary my wife. And had enough.
stood in need of any reasona BILE thing
which money could purchase"
81 had less money than that" said
Judge Sawyer, a far-away look In his
eyes.
Il had nothing, and look at me-" de-
clared Postmaster jenkins, proudly.
ANY man can do as well as I've done.
The trouble with people now days r.
that they want TO put on too much
style. Let them begin AZ the bottom
and work up. like we did That's what
I say"
"our young city friend should have
saved az least one years salary" con-
tinued Col. Monroe, Ignoring the self
satisfied postmaster That's not an
easy taak when one considers the temp
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08
SO Doz. Extra Large Extra All Linen TO-
Huck Towels. each....................... A~S

at Judge Sawyer. What do you think
of that, Judge?" l believe l should
have asserted that a person of that
description is in effect deficient in the
roblest of manhood or womanhood,
and should therefore be an object of
pity to all who are so fortunate as to
be normal, and hence healthy. The
President has described cripple and
holds him up for scorn. To be born
with a heart devoid of love, and
brain shallow and selfish, is a calanl-
ity. You might as we'll denounce a
man for being born blind or malform-
ed. But do not believe President
Roosevelt meant what he said"
1.-THE President recognizes the unfor-
tunate trend away from marriage on
the part of American born citizens"
said Judge Sawyer, land with his GUS
tomary earnestness sounds note of
warning. President Eliot of Harvard
proves conclusively that the future
classes of that great university cannot
be recruited from the children of its
graduates. From many unquestioned
sources we learn that the birth rate
among our wealthy and prosperous
classes is steadily decreasing. This
raises a most serious problem"
ut seems to be fact beyond dis
pute that the birth rate decreases in
proportion to. the wealth of the re-
spective classes of society, does 1T
not?" asked Col Monroe.
Beyond a doubt" answered Judge
Sawyer "It is true even here in Lin
colnvi1le, where<the lines between riches
and poverty are not so closely drawn.
Of course there are exceptions, and
am happy to say that you and / are two
of them. buc as a rule the greatest
blessing of the man in poor or in mod
crate circumstances is a large family
of children"
1--WE may assume, then, that If every
one became wealthy the race would
eventually disappear" suggested Col.
Mcnroe.
Statistics seem to warrant that con-
clusion. What point do you intend to
make from this cross-examination, Col.
Monroe?" Judge Sawyer raised his
eyes suspiciously.
"You have just repudiated another of
your pet theories replied Col. Mon
roe. ut did not originate with you, but
in common with most men who gave
thought to such subjects you never
doubted it's truth until recent years.
When you and were young men. po-
litical economy consisted mainly in a
belief in two propositions; first that
competition was the life of trade, and
second, that the constant tendency to-
wards over-population could be checked
only by killing off the surplus by means
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08

any one who knew all about the Care
of Children brought her "a new Prepar-
alton she either fed it to little Herby
or else rubbed it on his Back
Arthur had the old-fashioned Notion
that all a Kid needed was a Milk Diet
and something Rubber on which to
chew, but the Chief of the Experiment
Station had a lot of Club Theories to
be tested and she was working on lit
tie Herbert every minute.
This made it Fine for Father, be-
cause he could shake his Electric Belt
and get some real Food by fixing it
with the Hired Girl, but it was a fierce
Layout for little Herbert. Herbert
never had a Chance to sneak out to
the Club and tell his Troubles and get
a lot of Sympathy.
Herbert had to stay right there in
the House and let the Mothers Club
practice on him.
He's a Wonder" said Arthur to his
Friends at the Club. IF he lives
through it, he'll make grand Foot
Ball Player some Day"
When Herbert was years of Age,
the Scientific Mother had him reading
Bliss Carman. Father tried to slip
him Mother Goose on the quiet, but
was headed off.
Still, Arthur was not discoura ged.
Ihefe is always one Hope for the
Boy who is brought up according to
League Rules" said the Father. Wait
until he gets into the Public School
and he will get wise to few Things
and probably flash few unexpected
Developments on Mother Dear"
Sure enough, when Teacher wrote a
Note and said that Angel had SHE'D a
Brick at a Teamster and Furthermore
had licked the inoffensive Son of a
poor Hod-Carrier, the Experimental
Mother threw a Back-Twister and
wondered why the Club System had
failed to work out.
MORAL: AS the Father is Bent, the
Child is Inclined.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08
AID. e GABLES.
The Escape of Arthur and the Salvation of
Herbert.
Copyright. 1908. by Robert Howard russell.

Once there was a lonely Man who
Married, thinking that he would find
Home, but, instead of that, he ran
into an Experiment Station.
The other end of the Team was the
original Recipe Shark and Family Doc
tor.
She was a bright, eagle-eyed Party
with a high throbbing Forehead and
she was always on the lookout for
New Wrinkles. Any time that she
picked up the Lady's Household Friend
and read about a Cure for Chilblains.
she would cut out the Article with the
Button-Hole Scissors and then for
Days afterward she would be snoop-
ing around for a Case of Chilblains so
that she could work on it.
She had about 5000 of these Home
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08

which deter city young men from
marrying" admitted Judge Sawyer.
What is the fourth ?"
Their knowledge of the fact that
owners of first-class apartment build
ings have passed and rigidly enforced
a law against children" declared Col.
Monroe. "Peddlers, canvassers, dogs
and babies are barred from all desira-
BILE renting apartments in our modern
cities. Our young man knows that the
penalty. of raising family is Danish
ment TO a section of the city where
the streets are unpaved and ill-lighted,
and the quarters squalid. Such dis
tricts are set aside for him and for
others who are contributing their
share towards preventing what the
wise ones now call race suicide The
select portions of our cities are re-
served for bachelors of both sexes,
childless couples and the palaces of
the heirless rich. 1t therefore comes to
pass that the young man who has
been able to amass enough money to
furnish an apartment; who has been
so fortunate as to find a worthy help
mate, and who is reasonably secure in
his position, is frowned upon If little
ones come to bless his marriage. TAX
ing all these facts into consideration,
ii is apparent that there are reasons
other than GOODNESS of heart, shallow
ness and selfishness. why young per-
sons hesitate to marry"
You present strong case in favor
of bachelorhood," conceded Judge
Sawyer. what remedy do you sug-
gest?"
RAPID transit" answered Col. Mon
roe.
Rapid transit" exclaimed Postmas-
ter Jenkins. What's rapid transit
got to do with love and marriage and
families and all that sort Of thing?"
Think it over for a week and we'll
discuss it at our next session." said
the colonel, as he arose to go. II think
Judge Sawyer understands. See IL you
can figure II out, Jenkins?
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08
DISCUSSES
Marriage and Race Suicide
By FREDERICK UPHAM ADAMS.
Copyright, 1903, by Frederick Upham
Adams.

Did you read what President
Roosevelt says about people who don't
get married and raise big family of
children?" asked Postmaster Jenkins.
Here it is in DIR. Renold's magazine.
The doctor didn't call for it tonight,
and so 1 took it out of his box and
glanced over it. Let me read what the
President says. Teddy always hits the
nail square on the head"
Read it," assented Col. Monroe.
Postmaster jenkins adjusted his
glasses, cleared his throat and impress
sively read the following;
The man or woman who deiber-
ately avoids marriage and has a heart
so cold as to know no passion, and a
brain so shallow and selfish as to dis
like having children, Is in ERECT a
criminal against the race and should
be an object of contemrtuous aoho:-
ence by all healthy people
That's what l say" declared Mr.,
Jenkins. "Ive got no sort of use Tor
people of them kind"
An object of contemptuous amor
cnce?" unused Col. Monroe, gianelng
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08
!, EckS EMS
faIuuoe
Values
A Modern Miracle.

them all to guessing how is that
special the goods SELL We positively
purchase refund the money!
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08
J. W. WICGINS;
The Wide Awake Plumber

is always looking out for anything
that viii benefit his customers and the
plumbing trade. SO II win be pleas
ure for him 10 show you through his
show room. which is fitted up with al
OF the most modern plumbing fixtures.
lie will also call on you anywhere II
you VIII call up S07. either phone. for
any plumbing work you may need.
II6-fI8 President Street, West
corner OF Barnard.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08

exercising three Minutes every Day.
How to lift a $1,000 Mortgage on a
salary of SO per Week.
Usually, when he came Home, he
found her draping an old Mother
Hubbard over a Shoe Box so as to
make a Hall Seat or else she had u
Hot Poker and was burning a High
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08
MUNYON'S Witch Hazel Soap

Is a ba'by's soap.
Is -lady's soap.
Is a gentlemans soap.
Is a soap for \ everybody VINO
wants the best toilet soap ever
made.
1t improves the complexion.
It softens the skin.
It cures chapped hands ana
chapped lips.
1t cures nimples.
1t cures sores.
1t cures babies and grown folks
of all skin eruptions.
1t cures dandruff.
1t stops the hair falling out.
1t makes the hair grow.
II is the best shampoo made.
1t is ideal for shaving.
It gives the glow Of youth 10
sallow and dull compilations.
II is more soothing than colo
cream; more identifying than any
lotion or cosmetic.
II is pure enough TO eat.
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08
SOLD EVERYWHERE, is CENTS.

n YOUR hood or liver 10 sun WITH ndIo yo
.sns nd Cure The Blood
cure will eradicate poIsons system and the ssepsa cure VIII
you good appetite enable 70 digest sYhns you @
connection with Munyon's Nh
Hazel SOAP WIN mproS complex 90
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08
]. |. MORRISON Z CO.
The Peoples Stores
% Brooghton ST., West,
And 80 Whitaker St.

At no time previously have we been well equipped
for business we this Spring. Anticipating larger
business we have greatly en1arged and improved our diff
ferent departments Everything needed and generally kep
IN FIRSTCLASS Dry Goods store will be found here
To confirm assertions extend VOC cordial nvf
taton to visit spacious the coming week
The Savannah morning news., 1903-03-08
CORSETS.

w. B. Erect
F orm Straight
Front and Habit
Hip.
R. &c, War
ner's and Amer
lean Lady. All
S h ap e S a n d
styles.