The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1903-09-10
THE ELEVATOR BOY.
He Makes an Explanation in the
Name of Humanity.

Name of Humanity.
| I think I shall have to quit my Job or
become hardened wretch. About six
months ago a drug editor moved into
our skyscraper, and two or three DAYS
| later advertised for a boy. He told me
personally that he wanted a willing
boy, and one in the best of health, and
that a boy devoted to his interests
would have a steady place and a. liberal
salary. OF the fifty boys who called to
answer the advertisement the drug
editor picked out the latest and plump
est, and a few minutes later I heard him
explaining:
Now. sonny, we will begin business
at once. Here are two pills, which
wish you to swallow right away, and
symptoms that may develop
The boy cried and protested, but he
was fatherleSs boy with a widowed
mother on his hands to support, and he
his job. They were a new kind, sent to
the editor for experiment and report,
but he wasn't taking any chances him
self. Those pills didn't kill the poor
boy, though his ears kept twitching and
his hair continued to curl for the next
two days. The innocent lad was just
getting his nerve back when the drug
man called upon him to swallow a big
nothing wrong with that boys kidneys,
and again he tearfully protested against
being experimental on, but the drug
man fixed him with his eye and re-
piled:
Very we'll, sonny. If you had rather
see your poor mother begging from door
to door than surrounded by all the lux
uries that wealth can buy, then be it so.
1t is either swallow this or co..
The boy wept for awhile and then
swallowed the stuff. He was taken with
cramps half an hour later, and then the
drug man worked in panacea on him.
and Tins made two aXnarir1oanfG nr1f nF
one That was only the beginning. 1
didn't like to say anything in opposi-
ton, but it made my heart bleed to
watch that boy day after day After
three or four days the drug editor got
him down to a regular routine. The
first thing in the morning was TO sweep
out the office. Then he was given a
dose of some new consumption cure.
Then came an errand or two and a
dose of something to stir up his liver.
Then he went to the postoffice after
| stamps, and upon his return it was a
| dose of spring tonic or a sure cure for
dyspepsia. His fairness and his plump
ness soon disappeared, and at the end
| of a fortnight he was hollOw-eyed and
weak in the knees l saw that he was
not long for this world unless the drug
man let up, and 1 mustered up courage
| to throw ont hint.
"Oh, about Johnny, eh?' replied the
drug man. Yes, he is going fast He
hasn't got the constitution 1 thought he
two weeks more, but boys are plenty
and 1 must have one to try experiments
on"
Two weeks later Johnny's mother
sent word that he was a human wreck,
and the drug man sat down and wrote
another advertisement for another vic
tim. This time he picked out a boy
with moles on his chin and warts on
his hands. The stock of salves was pill
ing up, and here was a, boy to use 'em
on. A dozen times a day his moles
were touched up and his warts literally
creased, and after the third day sure
cure for cold feet and a liniment for
lumbago were mixed in with the others.
In a week he lost five pounds of flesh
and began to have a PARKWAY look in
his eyes. The drug man tried to brace
him up by wringing in a remedy for
dandruff, but the boy continued to fall
away and. wonder where be, was at till
he fell down stairs rone day and broke
three ribs and was paid his salary up
to date and sent home.
Then third boy appeared. He was
a frank, trusting lad, and it grieved me
to see him there. He was welcomed
with a dose of new remedy for tape
worm, and before night had taken an
anti-chOlera mixture, submitted his
corns for treatment and had four or
five different sorts of porous plasters
sticking to him. He trusted the drug
man and had no guile in bis heart, but
he didn't last a month. His mother
nervous that he would climb a tree at
sight of a bicycle, and so poor in flesh
that he was like a mop-stick, and she
thought he had better give up trying
to be philanthropist. + -.