davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
INGALLS, AND SHERMAN.
How the kansas senator Waited For
Two Years 10 Get Eyeu.

TIVE Years to Get Even.
In the course II his memoirs of de
parted statesmen senator Vest tells of
IL sharp passage between senator John
j. Ingalls, AMI Senator John sherman.
Ingalls, had reported from the pen
sions committee II hill granting pen.
sion To all who had served thirty days
in the Federal army. He stated that
the bill had been unanimously indorsed
by the Republican national convention
lie moved an immediate consideration
and resumed his scat. The Democrat
ic senators felt much delieacy In OPP
posing any pensions proposed by the
Republicans. says senator Vest, and
they knew that any opposition on their
part would he quoted as evidence of
their hostility To l'uinn soldiers There
WAS profound silence for Il moment.
and Senator sherman then addressed
the chair, stating that the tllnc had not
yet come for service pensions Ia the
soldiers of the hast war. lie stated that
no convention. national Ut state had
the right 10 instruct him MS To his sen
ntorial duty. and he objected TO the
present consideration of the bill. The
measure went TO the calendar and died
there, While the crowd of pension at
torncys who had originated the scheme
formed sad procession as they filed
out of The galleries, uttering fiorcc
anathemas against the Ohio senator
Senator Vest declares that Ingalls,,
"who never forgot nor forgave, nursed
his wrath and I've years afterward had
his revenge when Sherman appeared
before the District of Columbia com
mttec, of which Ingalls, was chairman,
and advocated an appropriation bill
providing for the extension of -Four
tecnth street to Columbia heights.
where Sherman was II large owner OF
real estate. Senator sherman in urg-
Ing the bill said that Washington
should De made the most beautiful cap
ital in the world and should have
streets, parks and public buildings
equal TO those of Rome when she was
mistress of the world Ingalls, dryly
remarked that he had no objection TO
improving Washington city SO rs TO
make it The superior of Rome In every
respect, but that lac had never heard of
4 Roman senator asking for an cXten-
sion of the Appian May nj public cx-
pcnsc in order 10 increase the value of
his suburban property
But after this telling shot the Kan
sas senator voted for the measure
Kansas cts journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

An uncduented child has one chance
in 10000 of attaining distinction MS n
factor in the progress of the age,
a common school education increases
his chance nearly four times.
A high school education increases
the chance of the common school child
twenty three times, giving him eighty
seven times the chance Of The unedu-
Gated
A college education increases the
chance Of the high school boy 8 times,
giving him 10 times the chance OF
the common school boy and more than
500 times the chance of the unframed.
Worlds Work
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
THE OYSTERS POSITION.
II wedGcd on Its Right Side In Its
He'd u VIII Die.

WHY does an oyster sleep and live
on It's left side asked man WHO il
interested in oyster culture. Well,
suppose We Will have To- put the qucs-
ton 10 Nature aud Nature has her OWN
way of answering questions, ! have
been around in the oyster waters of
the Chesapeake bay and Choptank fiv-
cr for many years and ana in Il position
to say that this IS the natural My
of the oyster. may remark paren
thetleally that this Is one of the dillieul
ties we have 10 contend With. for in rc-
bcddiug oysters and bunchihs them an
oyster IS occasionally thrown upon its
right side and weighted 50 that ii can
not turn over 1t simply dwindles
away and dies 10y degrees. Put upon
its right side the oyster cannot live
or course there Is an explanation 10
this peculiarly. The right hand part
of the oyster shell is the top and moy-
able part, II the oyster is put in it's
natural positiou-that Is, on its left
side II requires but a small amount of
physical energy To open and raise the
right hand section of the shell when
the oyster wants 10 feed. Reverse the
position and put the oyster on the right
side and we find an extremely difficult
problem. from the oysters standpoint.
In order TO open the shell for feeding
purposes il is necessary for the oyster
TO raise not only the weight of the left
section Of the shell, but its own weight
ms we'll If we reverse hr natural no.
sillon of the oyster, put ii on It's right
hand side and wedge it so il can't turn
over, we simply smother and starve II
10 death OF course, | am just thcoriz-
ing about this thing. There may be
some other explanation Of the left hand
ed life Of the oyster, but from my eXpc-
Renee | am inclined to think the cN.
PLANTATION given Is reasonable one. -
Philadelphia Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

steward had brought the tray.
Pay tribute and leave these waters
at once" said Blackboard yesterday
you came To our our lair and gave
pain to the heart OF woman"
2" said Caverly, amazed. How y
ITS Aunt Elinor," said Clifford.
shes bccn--becn- bawling like time
ever since you left
Caverly sprang to his feet.
See here" he said, IN 20 back
with you as hostage"
"Yardarm Bill" said Blackboard,
conduct yon craven captain TO our
craft I'm much obliged for the tarts,"
he added his mouth full of the last
one
They found Aunt Elmer i'll the IL
brary. She rose as they came in.
Tom" she said ansrily. how dared
YOU
Il have it on the authority of the
eminent blackboard" he said gravely.
''that you've been or what was it,
'bawling' ever since left. Elinor, dear
ii NILS all my fault
Tom she said brokcnly, 81 called
TO you when YOU left nd-and'
oh. Lord. 10 thnl, | didn't hear you
Here" turning 10 the amazed clifford
Worthington aud thrusting another
half dollar into his hand. Il want Aunt
Elinor to SEE Nnrdarm Bill Won't you
see If you can find him."
Later they sat ON the Ncranda i'll the
moonlight clifford Worthington, In
his brave array Of peaked cap and
wooden swords. fast asleep in the ham
mock.
Looks like belligcrrnt young Mars
doesn't he laughed taNerly.
Dear little cupid \nno Domini"
said AUNT Elinor. stopping 10 kiss the
sleeping god
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
wealth of Florida straits.

If the bed of the ocean is TO be
searched for treasure there can he no
more promising fields than those about
the Florida straits. Through these as
through gate once flowed the riches
from the mines Of Peru and Mexico rs
well as the pearls from the old Pacific
fisheries, and when storm struck the
ship between the Jaws there was usual
ly a wreck with no survivors. those
who reached the shore 10 fall into the
hands of Indians being more unfortu-
nate than those whclmcd in the waves
Success to the searehcrs - Florida
Times tnon.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

Definite words are necessary FOR the
expression of definite IDEAS, hence sci
entilic terms have TO he employed. \
term has one definite meaning which
does not change with time, The rush
of affairs drifts words from their orig
lnal meanings, as ships drag their an
chors in n gale, but terms sheltered
from common use hold To their moor
lngs forever. The word let for ex-
ample, has drifted in zoo years from
meaning "hndcr' until now 1t means
permit" but the term "bisect' has re-
maincd unaltcrcd in significance for
centuries Engineering Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
WORDS WITHOUT RHYME.
Some Difficulties the Poets Cannot
overcome.


overcome.
In we'll known musical comedy the
kingly poet of n mythical state makes
II frantic demand on his subjects for
rhyme with sarsapnrlla. The question
calls TO mind the surprisingly few
words there are In the comparatively
harsh English tongue. with its plethora
of consonants, for which there are no
fhyming equivalents Sarsaparlla, as
II manufactured name, is hardly fair
example, but there are said To be only
three familiar words of everyday
speech which loom up ferociously be-
fore tile student of metrlcal possibii-
ties. They are silver month and car
pet or these silver alone remains alb.
solutely unassailable, for Swinburne
has In one Of his poems word of
Greek derivation which may he said
at pinch Ia rhyme with month, and
w. $. Gilbert of "pinaGore" and MI
kado" fame has in the Dab Ballads
ingcnlously conquered carpet as fol
lows
One day that Turk he sickened sore.
Which threw him straight into sharp
pet.
lie threw himself upon the floor
And rolled about his carpet
The same author has also establish
ed record in Patience" for rhymlng
unfamiliar words that look extremely
formidable TO the novice. The verse
runs:
When from the poets plinth
The amorous calocynth, etc,
which, although 1t be very beautiful, Is
hardly Ineligible.
But silver Is stlll obstinate, ana the
young Musacn WHO ends his first line
with that fatal word had better stick
10 blank verse. Philadelphia Record.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

Play distinguishes the higher from
the lower animals, and ii signifies pos
sibiliiy of education Fishes do not
play ut all. the lower mammals can
hardly be taught to play, and birds are
entirely devoid of the instinct. But the
kitten and the lamb are essentially
playing animals The human young,
however, are the true players. and in
reality il Is play that develops them in
to manhood. "Children,' says DR..
Hutchinson, are born little amorphous
bundles of possibilities and are played
into shape"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

Mr. Dennis was cndcatoring 10 the
best OF his ability to give the doctor II
faithful account of his wifc's symg
toms. but lac found il uphill work
you say she has cough" said the
doctor. rs II hollow cough"
Mr. Dennis cast his eyes 10 The cell
ing and then down 10 the ground, but
found no help anywhere.
at may be II hollow cough" he said
humbly. but there's great soobstance
to the sound of il anyway"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

Laugh aud grow fat is an old say.
Ing. and there Is more Dian a little
truth in II. asserts a doctor. The con.
yulsiyr movements Which we call
laughter exert q very real effect upon
the bodily Framework. They cause the
arteries 10 dilate, 81 Thai they carry
more blond 10 the tissues of the body
and the heart 10 beat more rapidly, 50
that the Flow of the blood through the
vessels Is FASTENED, In other words,
laughter promotes the very best toudi-
tionS for an increase of The vital
processes; the tissues take up moro
uutritivc material and the waste prod.
uets are more promptly removed. \
good laugh sends IN increased flow Of
blood to the brain; this Immediately
causes that instrument of thought 10
work better, with the result that
gloomy forcbodings are sent packing"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

Man With Petition I'd like to have
your name on this, Ruggles. 1t Is a
mere Formally, you know but
Business Man Ia like to oblge you.
Rackstraw, but a fellow came around
last week with Il pledge binding the
signer not to put his name on petition
OF any kind for a year and signed 1t.
Chicago Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

"Dat wuz mighty poor comfort dcy
give Br'er Thomas on his sick bed,
said Brother Dlekey
"What dey tell him.
preacher tot him dey wu2 a bright
prospect ahead Of him"
EN- what ne say ter DAFT"
"Tol en- dat what wuz a-worryin' or
him II WIZ 50 bright it wul blazln"-
Atlanta Constitution.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

GLOW old are YOU" the schoolteach-
er asked the new student.
"Siv years old" lisped the little one.
"Nhet were Nou siXf' asked the
teacher.
The day our hired girl came" said
the little one conclu>iNcly -rittsburs
Dispatch.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
I.mAN

In the temporary absence Of the
beauty editor this question was hand
Ell by mistake TO the sporting editor
"Ifow shall one get rid of superiluous
hairs on the upper lipE'
Chats easy" he wrote in reply.
"Push the young man away. Chica-
20 Tribune
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

Tess He proposed TO me today, and
he was 50 impatient, lie wanted me
10 marry him right away. But | was
not 10 be hurried
Jess So you put him or, ch?
Tess Yes, indeed told him he'd
have TO wait until tomorrow. phlla-
dclphia Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

"What do you think, Mr.. DinsmoreY'
said Miss Frocks Il lost my fine new
umbrella today, aud II had my nnme
on the handle too"
Then you'll have to get another, OF
course" replied Mr. Binsmore
Another umbrella r
mo; another name"
ooh, Mr.. Dinsmore. this Is 80 sudden!
sun, you may ask papa Town Top
les
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
4 Sfronu Point.

Agent Showing Mrs. Starycn through
the new house The house IS most
desirable site for II boarding house. or
course the windows may seem TO you
rather narrow, but
Mrs. Stareen-1ha what attracted
me. I'm sure the average trunk is too
wide 10 20 through any OF those bed
room windows Philadelphia Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
Trnnhie Itnr Henry

Il see" said Mrs. Hcnpeck. that n
Chicago man refused TO give his wife
up after she had secured n divorce from
him"
well we'll he answered for the
moment forgetting himself. II thought
woman couldn't get divorce from u
crazy man" Exchange
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

Both OF my grandparents on my
mothers side were nonagenarians."
said Mrs. Oldcastle.
rs that So" replied her hostess,
My folks WAS all Baptists, but Josiah
,omes from a Methodist family Chi.
taeo Record Herald
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
wanted No Wages.

"Do you know the wages of SIM"
asked the dominic stcrnly Of Johnnie,
who was busily tying a can 10 dog 2
tail.
rs dis n sim" qucricd John without
booking up
1T certainly is"
"Well. | don't want no wages fer dis.
I'm doin' It fer fun" Houston Post
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
Disra.Ii.s co,ard,ce.

. Mrs. DisraelI once said 10 an aston
ished circle in an English country
house: dizzy has the most wonderful
moral and political colirage. but he has
no physical courage. always have TO
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
I'll. songs Irn,e.

Patience He wrote a song he thought
Nas going to live,
Patrlce-And did IL?
'No. The first person he heard sing
II murdered Yonkers Statesman.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
Plenty Drowned

Flytter-I suppose there's money 10
be picked up In the stock market.
Flutterer There ought to be- Why,
l myself have dropped considerable az
II there Boston Transcript
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
That WINS All.

MIR McCorklc This statue you speak
Of was an equestrian one, was IN
Mrs. McCorkle-No; il was just a
MIN on horseback Detroit Free Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

Potter You have heard Of piogenes
going about with lantern searching
for an honest man.
Mrs. Potter Bigger fool he! Honest
men are not to be found on the street
at night; they are ut home with their
families Boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

Hello" said the neighborly bore.
"What are you building the new chick
en- house forf'
why" replied Nctlles, "for flock OF
pink eamels Of course. You didn't sup
pose I'd put chickens in II. did youf"-
rEls1s .phla Ledger.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

Il notices. snid Uncle EbeD. dat
man who Il stubborn as II mule gcner-
ally amt near as sensible" Washing
ton Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

A woman can hardly look at man
on the level. She will either look up to
him or else look down on him New
Orleans Times Democrat.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
Knew wnat lie wanted.

PolItlclan-I'll do what can t, get
work for You.
Citizcn-I don't want work; whsx In
after Is n city job.-Exchangc
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

II dogs could speak they would have
something TO say about the fool names
that women give them. New York
Mail and Express.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
Not ia lie Mastered

W.-They tell me, professor, that you
hive mastered all the modern tongues.
Proressor-All but two my wlfe's
and her mothers,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
Womnn and Bu.ines.

Cashier Madam. you can give US
-FOUR notes for the amount you owe us.
Madam-Of course, but tell you
right now | never shall be able TO pay
them. Detroit Free Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

A man never knows what cole
science he has until asked to tell lie
to shield SEINE one he never liked very
well anyway .Atrh!son Globe.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

II nonnl.ir is no dlsprnce

lie But poverty is no disgrace,
She Um.m. no; but there are ne
medals connected with It either
Judge.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02

1t IL only because the water works
that the fountain plays. Petoskey
tMich) Tyre.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1903-12-02
Cugfd Ammo
DO m I'M
BY RICHARD
BARKER SHELTON
S~o~o~o%o%e%e~s%e~

on the Ysls,uda rail swinging his short
the whole cn1rsr of his rleyrn vrnrs.
,,.,o,,,,,.., r., hi. r.l.,,t ,,ors ,,.,,,n ~,
NV way '"i"'' ''S '"'"e' anu
hi"'4iet had Statt'u LOT oh'o TO attend
the wedding Of lr, Todd's faNorite
niece, and Clifford Worthngtou. given
his own choice OF accompanying them
or remaining nj home with Aunt Eli
nor. had chosen the latter course.
As Il general thing. 10 stay NJ home
with Auni Elinnr in charge of the
household WAS about rs near paradise
rs one could hepe 10 get. AUNT Elinor
MIS- young and pretty and full of fun
and. moreover. understood You. She
wasn't forever saying. Clifford, it is
time tar Your nap" or "Cliford. what
Il dirty little boy, Go aud cleanse your
self At once" Shc would 20 Ia walk
with YOU in the pine woods. and she
didn't mind how many pine needles
You threw over her. She Would 20 uni
in the bay with You in the naphtha
launch. aud she could run the engine
~ veil a, Talpcy. She would read
most delightful stories 10 you from n
book will red and gold binding. and
size knew lust when vou We're hungry
and <m0s.lcd YOU a plate of tarts from
the cook In Clifford Worthington
Todd.s rle,cn=vear old mind AUNT ELI
nor Erid Hr~f place. VET aS he SIT ON the
yrr.,1aa rail L. gave ntfrranee TO liz
laoNl ,9fio o.. II. i Pfe'"'I'' ana 'e''
-, ~, ~, 49,. -,
i'Ne','''N alte' ,'u"'', i S'no'i'e' s''a'
WI" S9S''i'''s "'''N nun "," "'''.
"i'''' s.'4iN 'I"'' '''''' NV '''. p,f ''n'
'''l1e u ''''' ,'s'' ol'l'',9s, ~" ',''' ','
ia-'' y @'E ''''o pun ,'e5 '''''' h,'' anu
Il '''li se''' '''il.'t' ','t ''9''nt.,t"'' ~
li'' niue l''''t ea'', tau "''' t'"''' III,
l'''''s l'a''N INV i'.s S'n''t'i'''" u'u
ste''lta IL N'ioN yum i.i'''"i very N'ii
si' iistl IVA i'''i.'''a nun 10 '''''i"
y -, 'llilst''' rs WI ave.
~, ttii " i51a Sal ea li's ei.'iit'se
The Sumpter miner. [volume] (Sumpter, Or.) 1899-1905, 1903-05-27

This sketch how the various Mother Lode
other and their connections
They all going Golconda,
Columbia North Pole South Pole Chloride Highland
MAXWELL and the Basley Ekhorn all we'll known and
recognized as among the n northwest
The Highland formerly the Knapp Group, by Mr. NJ
H. Knapp who sixty six He discovered the
Highland about fourteen Immediately work
the concluded that he could develop
himself without other capital AID than his labor He
he be the producing
and which, his judgment, would outclass all his
neiRhbOrs.
He believing he could accomplish all
opening
bodies and producing As time
In spite his hercuan efforts Mr. Knapp reszed that alone and
unaided he could accomplish his long cherished ambition
The Sumpter miner. [volume] (Sumpter, Or.) 1899-1905, 1903-05-27

Rather than allow the Highland idle he decided sell
full that with the enlistment
Highland would the producing the
Mother Lode system
On January 25 Mr. Knapp sold his to the Highland
Gold Mines Company Sumpter that time
active development been with excellent results
bodies have been and the Highlands
q
Hardly had the deeds Of the Highland the Highland
Gold Mines Company been drawn when Mr. Knapp Immediately
block Of the stock saying he desired to
benefited the the Highland mine
Shares being sold In this order
the Mr.
tions should not be accomplished E.
For complete information regarding the Highland mines write
"Cold Facts "
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1903-07-15
New STYLE of Street Car.

A new type or street car Is being
made for the Twin City Rapid Transit
company, which operates lines In Min
neapolis and st. Paul, and by its use
the managers believe they will be able
greatly to facilitate their service, says
the New York Times. Separate en-
frances and exits through the rear YES
thule are contemplated. and plan is
being worked out for a means of In
gress through the motorman's CAB.
Both the front and rear vestibules are
to be heightened a foot or two. A par
tition will divide these vestibules IN
half. At the right will be the entrance
and at the left the exit. Thus passen-
gers may enter and leave the car with
out jostling. 1t is believed that with
the separate entrances and exits the
time for stops will be reduced by on"-
half.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1903-07-15
Queen Draga's Vanity Cost Her Life.

It Is said to be certain that the late
King Alexander of Servia and Queen
Draga were warned that they were IN
danger Of assassination, says the Paris
correspondent Of the New York Times.
Quite recently the late king trans
ferred through a Paris bank over
10000 francs into safe keeping IN
England. He himself was only TOO
anxious to leave Belgrade; but, 1t Is
asserted, piece of feminine vanity In
tervened and cost his own life and the
Queens. Queen Draga had, to use her
OWE phrase, nothing to go away IN
She was awaiting the consignment OF
q particularly smart travelling dress
from one of the principal Paris dress
makers. This failed to arrive in tme'
the arrangements for fight were de-
ferred, and, Just as it happens to peo-
nile who linger in burning house,
escape was at last cut off.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1903-07-15
GENERAL MCOoKs VISIT TO AN OLD SCOUT.
How the Famous Old Soldier Showed His Regard OLE
Friend Who Was His Deathbed in Hospital.

Several years ago the late General
Alexander Mcdowell McCook paid q
visit to Santa Fe, n. NJ, with some
railways officials, says the Kansas City
Star. On arriving at Santa Fe his first
inquiry was for one Lucian Stewart
He was told that Stewart was in the
hospital, awaiting death from old age.
Then he may die tonight, and 1 will
see him 1rst," the general quietly re-
marked. And then, with his aid, he
went directly to the hospital and was
quickly by the cot Of the old man.
stewart don't you know me?" he
inquired in tender way, at the same
time extending his hand
Stewart did not reply for fully one
minute, all the time holding the gen.
erals hand and scanning his features
at last ray of light broke over his
countenance and with smile he said:
Eyes, remember you. You are the
young lieutenant who never smoked
before breakfast"
Here the two broke into laugh, the
heartiest laugh perhans the old invalid