The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1903-02-04
CHAPTER XXXL

suing another line Of thought-"mar-
riage 10 the most discussed yet least
understood Of human tnstitu toms.
Though women % greatly outnumber
men, GOOD wives are Is scarce as good
husbands. OF course nothing can ceun-
terbalance the want Of good personal
qualities In either husband or wife. but
there can be no matrimonial paragon
who 10 unfurnished with dollars. / re-
member In my salad days. soon after
settled in this country, Van Rensse-
laer and I once amused ourselves by
making some investigations as to the
condition Of the marriage, market"
what do You mean. Sam?" asked
aunt Gertrude. looking up from Der
work.
About twenty years ago." continued
NY uncle, there lived in Rivington
street. New York, q matrimonial agent
who used to advertise in the daily
papers that he was prepared to supply
wives Of every desirable quality to
gentlemen Of unblemished honor and
~respectable means, while Of course
his usefulness to ladies' weary OF sin
gle blessedneDs was equally great. To
this professors Office Van Rensselaer,
and / n day betook ourselves. and
each planked down q fee Of IS. which
the agent, with a grateful smile. made
haste to appropriate"
what induced you to be 80 foolish:'
asked my aunt.
"sporr. my dear Gertie. sport; moth
ing more. ! assure you" said uncle
Sam.
well, what sport could You ind
in giving your money to q cheat?"
Every much; my IS were well In
vested. Admission to the agents ONCE
alone was worth the fee. HI! ha! I
remember the place to this day" ard
uncle Sam reclined his head on the
back Of his chair and chuclled.
"what was the place like?" ! IN
CURED.
1T was q fairly well-turnished
ONCE" said uncle Sam. 1.-The walls
were covered with shelves, on which
stood letter cases and japanned tin
boxes. In q corner Of the office. on nm
elevated platform. a bald-headed old
fraud Of about sixty, the proprietor
Of the place, sat at o desk plentifully
spread with ledgers. Packets Of let
ters, held together by rubber bands.
and piles Of photographs. lay about in
confusion, while close to the door stood
q large table strewn with writing ma
terials and printed forms whereon eli
ents might concisely state their quail
acations and requirements"
Did the agent show you any Of the
photographer" asked Constance.
Dozens Of them. One lady in par
ficular I remember he recommended
"a n very suitable wife for me. his rec
ommendation being based chiefly on
the fact that she was an English
woman, who, having passed the first
blush Of her youth % statement which
nobody who glanced at her photograph
would for q moment question:. was
free Of the frivolities which usually
accompany girlhood. and having been
for some years a member Of the Lon
don music-haIl profession. she was IN
accomplished vocalist. who could d.
vert my leisure with charming songs
Of IN amusing character, many Of them
unknown to the best musicians. These
qualities, the agent argued, more than
compensated for the lady's lack OF
property"
"was that all the old ria told you
about herr" I inquired.
II think 1t was" replied uncle Sam.
"But I wrote to her the next Cay I'M
der the assumed name Of Holdenhurst.
and q day or SO afterwards received
her reply. dated from the Bowery.
couched In photography which ! had
NOT previously met with. One If her
statements-that her dear pa had been
killed some years before by q fall from
a scaifold In the Old Bailey-imprcssed
me as q very pleasant way Ct describ-
ing an unpleasant fact"
At this point I interrupted uncle Sam
with my immoderate laughter, much
70 the surprise Of aunt Gertrude and
Constance. who. being imperfectly &C.
quairted with London. perceived moth
Ing to laugh Mt.
How about Mr.. Van Rensselaer,"
asked Constance. when my paroxysm
OF laughter had subsidized sufficiently
for her voice to be heard. Did the
agent recommend any If his clients as
q suitable wife for that ugly old Dutch
MANI"
Gently. Connie. please. Martin Van
Rensselaer, was a capital fellow. as
good a judge Of a railroad as was tn,
Great Commodore himself: and his ad.
vice a always sound In matters
where he was not personally inter.
ested. Poor old Martin Is now beyond
the veil against which I have been
binding beating"
"Yes, ! know" persisted Constance:
'but you have not answered my ques-
tion. Did the agent recommend a wife
for your friend as he did for you? If
10. I would like to hear about her"
Elm afraid I can't oblige you in
that, Con; but Of course the agent made
q recommendatit n. 1t was his business
to do s. 10 everybody WHO consulted
him"
"Mr. Van Rensselaer, didn't win bis
wife by any such means as that. l nm
sure" said aunt Gertrude.
$50 am l." added uncle Sam.