Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1903-01-31
JOBSON HAS TYPHOID

They seem tosbefiefe that Mr.. Overway
has typhoid fevsr-that he has had what
Is called walking gtyphoid' for some
weeks" remarked Mrs. Jobson upon re-
turning to the, Jobson domicile after q
visit at the home Of q sick neighbor about
month ago.. -EsfsSd 80 =
''Oh. they do, hey.' said Mr.. johnson.
'And who are ossthey:r A lot Of croakers
that have gathered ground the mans bed
to scare him tosfdeath? Walking typhoid.
you say? They'll be telling the man next
that he has walking yellow fever. perl
patetic bubonici plague, hobo's pleurisy.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Brights disease.
sprinter's eirrhosis efSthe liver. run-a-miie-
in-1. 40 consumption, pole-vaulting ieprosy.
and -
But" interposed Mrs. sJobson. softly.
MI. overway himself is convinced that he
has typhoid"
"Oh. Overway believes 1t, too.' said Mr..
Jobson. sitting back 7magtsteriafiy; IN his
easy chair and tWiddling his thumbs. oh.
well, that doesn't change the situation
much. Overway has always believed any
old thing one would. tell him, any way. but
didn't think that he would let q lot OF
women run into his house, every time he
gets a headache 1ors toeache, and convincs
him that he was scarded for quick dissolu-
ton on account of the presence In his sys-
tenn Of all the walking germs that ever
took their exercise over the frame OF e
human being" e.e@ .s=ss =
But three physicians have pronounced
Mr.. Overway's trouble, typhoid" put In
Mrs. Jobson.
Yep. just because they wanted to make
a hit with the women folks" snapped Mr..
Jobson. ~siEeuu notice that medical men
agree to any old5 thing that the women
folks of their patients say-theysres wise.:.
"But'-and right here Mrs. Jobson con-
trfved to describes to Mr.. Jobson few OF
the premonitory- symptoms Of typhoid, to
which he at first declined to listen, inter-
rupting her With the remark, Yes, any
BODY can muster up symptomS-aM you've
got to do to get anything the matter with
you Is to read or listen to enough nonsense
about symptoms and the first thing you
know you'll be on the fiat of your back,
grooming over your impending doom."eBut
when Mrs. Jobsons continued to describe
how their neighbour, feeling badly, had con-
even weeks before he would consent
to take to his bed. and so on, Mr..
Jobson's brow finally became thought
full and he fell silent. In fact, he
ended by desiring Mrs. Jobson to describe
at greater length all of the symptoms OF
typhoid that were known to her, and there
was a sweet, subdued air about him dur
Ing the remainder of the evening that con-
siderably puzzled Mrs. Jobson. On the fol-
lowing morning, at the breakfast table, too,
he displayed a new sort Of amiable gravity
of manner that caused Mrs. JobsOn to
wonder II there was anything momentous
on his mind, and he kissed her with un-
usual fondness when he babe her good
bye for the morning at the vestibule door.
Mr.. Jobson arrived home at o'clock that
afternoon, and he regarded Mrs. Jobson
with an expression Of ineffable sorrow
mixed with pity. when he hung his hat up
with sigh and embraced her. He drew
back suddenly after caressing her.
Il forgot" he. said, catching at his
breath. II should not have kissed you"
mot kiss me?" exclaimed Mrs. Jobson,
with an expression of establishment. why
not?"
Mr.. Jobson cleared his throat sadly and
almost toppled Unto an easy chair in the
sitting room. - f..re
Because, my dearp he exclaimed. wipins
a lot OF purely imaginary dampness from
his forehead, "because-I do not know that
! should break the news to you so sud
denly-so bruta4iy -because-'
In heavens name, what is it?" inter-
rupted the alarmed Mrs Jobson
We'll. my deaf," said Mr.. Jobson. at is
that I have. and have had for some time
past; walking typhoid And it seems
highly amprobable to.me, at the present mo
comparatively little exercise I have taken
these and many other things will initiate
against me when 1 take to my bed, as ]
shall be compelled tosdireetly. 1 am aware
of the fact that /, expressed a certain
amount of skepticism yesterday when you
were telling me of {fie symptoms Fremont
tory Of typhoid, but as you continued to
| converse. thef fact wass borne in upon me
| that these were, in fact, the very symptoms
which were aff1icting me. I fear. my dear
that after all of our years together-sorry
to have tof1eave you-parting of the
ways" and Mr.. Jobson was straightway
so overcome with his own self-sympathy
that he couldn't go on.
Mrs. Jobson had him in bed in something
less than four minutes after his affectfne
little speech, and ten minutes later the
doctor arrived. He looked Mr.. Jobson
over. tapped him, felt his pulse. took his
temperature and then laughed aloud
"Jobson. get up" said the doctor. land
I'll race you hundred yards! There =
nothing ailing you except just the tiniest
little dyspepsia
Mr.. Jobson scowled at the medical man
and turned his face to the wall. The phvsi-
clan departed, still laughing pleasantly.
Madame" said Mr.. Jobson when Mrs
Jobson returned to his ROOM won NAV teIe
phone at once for one of the hosnitaJ wao
ons-I decline to remain longer In INV helm
lessness under this roof 1t is bad enourb
to be jerked by you when l express a belief
IN my serious not to say my last Illness
but when you meet my medical man In The
nall and incite him make me a butt of ridi-
cuie under my own roof, then madame 7
want to be removed to some place WHARF
my life Will at least not be endangered h1
my nurse!' ~