davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
LITTLE WILLIE DOUBTS MAMA
Lippincott's Magazine.
In certain mountain town lived q lit

.. Lippincott's Magazine.
In certain mountain town lived lit
tie boy Of 4 who was very much fright
ened at the thought of a bear-in fact,
1t was the only animal OF thing he was
afraid of-and his mother in trying to keep
him from running into the street and play
ing In the irrigation bitches, and wander
ing away to a little unkept park, told him
he must not go, for there were bears there.
This frightened William, and the follow
ing day he sat on the doorstep in very
quiet and thoughtful mood. When asked
by the village clergyman, who was pass
ing by, why he did not go out and play,
William replied. II must not go out Of the
gate for there are bears In the roads and
down in the park The minister laugh
ingly replied, "No, there's no bears any
where around" but William insisted that
there were. The minister said: Lets go
there were. The minister said: Lets go
in and ask mama about it., and mama
had to acknowledge that she had simply
told William that to keep him from run
ming away from home. When alone with
the little boy the mother said: William,
mama is sorry that she told you a story
about the bears, and I guess we had bet
ter ask God to forgive her." Whereupon
William said: Mama, you had better let
me ask God, for maybe He wouldn't be-
Ieve YOU"
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
A "coNNoIssEUR OF IRIsHMEN"

A Chicago millionaire, George T. Cline.
had an extraordinary hobby. He was
connoisseur of Irishmen, according to the
local papers. Tho on himself he would
never spend more than ID or 20 cents a.
day, he thought nothing Of buying Irish
men sumptuous dinners, with champagne,
in order to hear them talk in their musical
brogue. An Irishman once played Colonel
Cline false. He stole a pair of boots from
him. Discovering the theft, the million
|aire pursued the Irishnan, overtaking him
as he was about to enter a pawnshop,
with the boots In his hand. "Those are
my boots; you have stolen them" said
Colonel Cline. s.Sure, it was only a joke"
said the Irishman. But the inexorable
millionaire hailed the thief before magis-
! trate, and here again the man repeated:
1T was only joke, your honor" "Only
a joke, hey?" said the magistrate. "Weu,
Mr. Cline, how far away from your house
had he carried the boots when you over
took him?" "Over a mile, SIR replied
the millionaire. HELD for court" said the
magistrate. This is a case Of carrying
the joke too far
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
kUBELik's MASCOT

Like most musicians, Kubelik has his
mascot. It is a little violin, given to hin,
by wandering musician when he was
only 10 years old, as a tribute to his pow
ers. The stranger heard the boy playing
on his fathers fiddle and was so struck
that he insisted on making him the pres
ent. Kubelik's father was as proud as he
was poor, and as superstitious as he was
proud. He said the boy should have the
baby instrument, but he insisted on pay
ing for it. It has been all over Europe
with Kubelik since. He never goes any
where without 1t, and believes that if he
lost it he would lose his luck. Two other
things Kubelik equally treasures-the
cross Of the Gregory order and a rosary
given to him by the late Pope Leo XIII
1.-THE cross I give you, my dear Kube-
lik,' said the pope, because you are q
master Of your art, the rosary to remind
you that there are things more precious
than fame
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
REPAIRING wAsH,NeTons TOMB

The exceptionally wet summer has told
seriously on the walls Of the old mansion
at Mount Vernon, and the managers Of the
estate have been fearful that the sand
stone walls in the foundation might crum-
BILE away. The cornerstone, laid two CEN
turies ago. on which the Masonic emblem
was deeply cut, has so disintegrated that
1t was found necessary recently to remove
the stone and clean off the crumbled parts.
The emblem will be recut and the stone
returned to it's resting place. The old
tomb, in which, until thirtytive years ago.
the bodies of General Washington and his
wife rested, Is in danger of falling to
pieces. A contract has been let to coat
the walls with a preparation to preserve
them. The walls of the mansion are also
being treated for the same purpose. The
walls are dried with gasoline torches and
then covered with composition called
nicolite, which is driven into the soft stone
by application of heat
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
THE SPEAKER OF THE COMMONS

Mr.. Gully, speaker of the British house
Of commons, and thus known as the first
commoner of the land is an older man
than many persons suppose. He will be
70 years old next year. He was stran-
ger to the majority of the members Of
the house when he was first elected to
the chair Of the house of commons eight
years ago. He had then for nine years
been the liberal representative Of Carlisle,
but he was rarely seen in the legislative
chamber. He spent his evening In the
top room of the library. Mr.. Gully sat
night after night Immersed in briefs, from
the study Of which he was distracted from
time to time by imperious summons of
the division bells. It was his old legal
friend and colleague, the late Lord Her
schell, who suggested his name as the
most suitable successor to the retiring
speaker, Peel It was a very close and
exciting division, but Mr.. Gully won by
the narrow margin of dozen votes.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
BEFORE CHEZ JUSTICE SHAW

- r Z !. 4 u ~ !
A rather dissipated lawyer who had a
case approaching on the docket one day
told his office boy to "go over to the SUI
preme court and see what in he'll they are
ooing," writes Senator Hoar in Scribner's $
Magazine. The court was hearing a very
important case, in which Mr.. Choate was
on one side and Mr.. Curtis on the other.
The bar and the courtroom were crowded
with listeners. AS Mr.. Curtis was in the
midst Of his argument the eye Of the chief
justice caught sight Of a young urchin, 10
or II years old, with yellow trousers
stuffed into his boots and with his cap on
one side OF his head, gazing intently UP at
him. He said: Stop moment, Mr.. Cur
tis.'' Mr.. Curtis stopped. and there was
a profound silence as the audience saw
the audacious little fellow standing entire
ly unconcerned. What do you want, my
boy?" said the chief justice. Mr.. P. told
me to come over here and see what In
hell you was up to- was the reply.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
IF You Were One Of Them.

or course the discharged workmen at
the Canadian 500 should be severely dealt
with If they continue their assaults on
nroperty and their menaces to life
Nevertheless, something Is to be said IN
extenuation Of their wrath and its violent
manifestations Every man who has
earned his daily bread by the rough, hard
toll of those who work with their hands
instead Of their heads, with their muscles
instead of their brains, can understand
this; others can not. A great millionaire
who had risen from poverty said the other
day that no man had real understanding
of life who had come into a fortune with
out earning 1t, whether by Inheritance,
gift or speculation. And SO to understand
the destructive rage of the railroad labor
ers and lurnberjaclks at the Soo man
must have done their work at times.
If you have done Station work" on
railroad line and have worked for months
with wet feet In a swampy region, and
have bent your back all day long to the
shovel or the wheelbarrow, and have
thrown thousand shoyelfuls Of earth.
after you were sure you had reached the
limit of endurance Of your stiff and aching
back, you can understand.
If you have struggled up slippery
plank behind wheelbarrow when you
felt that you had put the last particle Of
energy Of your sore body into the previous
burden, you can understand the rage of
men paid in checks which the saloon
keepers and shylocks offer to cash for
them at 10 cents on the dollar
If you have worked under the eye Of a
hurry-up foreman, shoveling earth into
tram cars, and have kept up 3s-stroke
from Z In the morning till at night for
s1.6o q day, you can understand how the
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
More Patrolmen.

The board Of tax levy cannot afford to
overlook Mayor Haynes request for ad-
ditional patrolmen. Minneapolis Is very
poorly policed, SO far as numbers go. This
Thirteen years ago Major r. r. Hender-
son, then Superintendent Of police, made
out a good case for a larger force. yet
the number Of policemen Is no larger to-
day than it was then, and our population
is at least $4,000 larger than 1t was. OF
course, If the board Of tax levy has no
confidence In Mayor Haynes, 1t should not
provide funds for an enlarged police force.
But we believe that the public has con-
fdence that the money. if granted, will
be used to protect the city instead Of to
find places for political heelers.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
Concerning Muliebrity.

Nothing is ever demonstrated in this
world. One generation is taught certain
things at school and the next generation
is taught that they were all wrong. We
have become suspicious Of everything
that pretends to be a fact. The revela-
tions Of science are tending to make us
sure Of nothing except the wisdom of
being uncertain. We used to count on
atoms, but now we know that atoms are
not the last and least units Of substantial
ity, as we supposed, but are in turn COM
posed Of electrons, to which materiality
Is altogether denied. The scientific theory
is now gradually taking shape that all
substance and all life is electricity.
We are told that even the law of grav-
ity is nothing more than rough working
theory Of the relations of the various
parts of the universe.
And, worst Of all, we are told that our
modern women with their golf, their row.
ing, their fencing and all sorts of gym
nastic exercises, whom we had supposed
to be the healthiest women of all time,
are really not SO healthy or 50 wonanly
say that the trouble is that our women
have been educating themselves physi-
cally up to a wrong ideal. The athletic
girl aspires to be as much as possible like
the athletic man. She takes up his sports
and his ways, and as a consequence she
develops physically in manner which
does not emphasize her womanliness.
Our heroines to-day are all tall and
Hssome, says writer In the London Mail,
lissome being a euphemism for lean.
Their grandmothers were petite and de-
liciously plump, and were animated by a
lively and natural emotionalism The
athletics that we thought were giving us
| the best women Of all time,-strong, Wig
orous, steady -nerved, clear eyed-are
really giving us, says the Mail authority,
tall, fat-chested colorless women lack
ing in reasonable feminine proportions.
'sWried and atrophied by rough wear and
unseemly habits" he says, that delicate
form shrinks and withers from the norm
Of health and beauty. No longer have our
girls the pleasant contours and healthy
lines Of muliebrity. They tend to become
asexual, and to conform to standard
which is not theirs, but MANS
We cannot resist the temptation to di-
gress long enough to remark that MULE
brity is good. If our girls are losing their
muliebrity we are sure that something
dreadful is impending. But isn't it true
| that our girls are showing tendency both
in physique and mind to depart far from
the old ideals Of what women should be?
Those old ideals may be all wrong, but
| we imagine that most of the men Of to-
day prefer the petite plumpness and
| natural emotionalism Of the old time
heroine to the thin, sinewy stole of some
sets in these times. much as they may re-
spect and admire the women who can
compete with them in mind and muscle.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
PAINTED THE PRESIDENTS HORSE

District Attorney Jerome has brother,
Larry" Jerome, whose strange life story,
as dictated by himself, appeared serially
in the New York Evening World few
years ago. This brother started his &C.
centric career while still at Princeton by
an undue love of art. Robert Bonner had
given President McCosh of Princeton a
magnificent snow white horse of which
the old president was inordinately proud
and which he was wont to drive in tri-
umph thru the streets. One day, as the
president was about to drive on a hurry
call to Trenton, his hostler failed to bring
the white steed to the door on time. Go
ing to the stable to investigate, the presi-
dent found that young Jerome had
painted the horse vivid and patriotic
red, white and blue. Then he had per-
mitted the Old Glorious horse to roll in
the grass, adding a Galway green to the
general effect. AS the president had no
circus to advertise, he missed his drives
for the next month.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
SENATOR DEPEw's AGE

The question of the age of Senator
Channcey Depew was under discussion
when one of the party, who was appealed
to as most likely to know, answered.: II
cannot state positively, and can only ap-
proximate to it thru a story I heard. It
seems that after the senator's marriage
and his return from Europe, the happy
couple went to pass few days at Peeks-
kill -on the Hudson, the home of his boy
hood. Upon their arrival, Mrs. Depew sat
down on the piazza and expressed her de-
light at all her surroundings, saying: T
shall never tire Of the beautiful spot, with
its grand old mountains and majestic
river. L suppose, senator, when you were
boy it was much wilder and more prim-
tive. Was the railroad then completed?'
Railroad? exclaimed the senator.
why, bless you, my dear, when I was
a boy there was neither railroad nor river
he, 4
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
THE WORLDS LARGEST CLOCK

The greatest clock in the world, the
dial Of which will be 120 feet in diameter,
is being built in Milwaukee for the Louis
lana purchase exposition to be opened next
spring. Only the hands and machinery
are being made there, for the dial is to be
brilliant bed Of flowers The clock will
be placed on the side Of the hill north of
the, agricultural building. The minute
hand will be sixty feet long, and the ring
at the end, which will be fastened to the
machinery, will be eight feet in diameter.
The minute hand will move five feet every
minute. The numerals marking the vari-
Gus hours will be fifteen feet long, and
made Of bright-colored coleus. In a broad
circle surrounding the dial will be twelve
flower beds, one opposite each hour, and
each two feet wide and fifteen feet long.
At night the timepiece will be illuminated
with 1000 incandescent lights.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
wAsHERwoMAN AND HER NOSE

There is a washerwoman in Paris that
is in great trouble. Two years ago she
had a fight with her husband, in the
course Of which SO much skin was taken
from her nose that some new had to be
grated on. Recently she made the hor-
rifying discovery that a fine coat Of hair
was growing on her new nose, and, then
learned that the doctors at the hospital
who had treated her had used skin from
a human scalp for grating purposes. The
poor washerwoman then went to the
courts, to ask for divorce, urging cruelty
as cause, because 1t was her husbands s
brutality which took the original skin off
her nose, which resulted in the grating,
the hair and the ridicule of her neigh
bOrS.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
THE SYMPATHETIC AMERICAN

A London paper tells an excellent story
in connection with the sentries in front
of Buckingham Palace. 1t appears that
their custom Of meeting face to face for
moment and then separating without
word, having cut each other dead, is a
continual source Of discomfort to sympa-
thetic Americans. One morning visitor
from the states found 1t too much for him.
Come, boys he said, soothingly, make
1t up Whether the sentries responded
to this touching appeal and flung them
selves sobbing upon each others bosorns is
not recorded i
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
The Only Course.

After listening to protest from the
executive council Of the American Fed
Grafton Of Labor, last night. President
Roosevelt announced that he had not in
any way changed his position in the
Miller case.
There were two charges against Miller;
first, that he was non-union man, and,
second, that he was unfit for the place.
The president said, as he has said before,
that he could not permit the two charges
to be confused. AS to the first one he
took the only possible ground for him to
take, viz, that such a charge was no
charge at all, since the United States
cannot distinguish between its citizens as
to their labor organization affiliations
any more than as to their religious a.ffilia--
tions. The second charge, being a legiti-
mate one, the president said would be
attended to in the ordinary routine Of
affairs.
Only men blinded by partisanship will
be able to deny that the president IS
| unquestionably right. Even those who
think he is wrong will be forced to adj
mire his candor and neutrality-suspicious.
in dealing with, the situation. He abso-
lutely refused to take advantage of the
opportunity afforded him to dodge the
major issue by directing that Miller be
discharged Instead he openly declared
that tho Miller might be discharged 1T
would not be because Of his lack Of mem
bership in labor organization.
| The great need Of this country is Off
cials who will enforce the laws. When
we have president of that Kind we
should not complain if some particular
piece Of enforcement seems to pinch our
| interests.
| There are evidences that the conserva-
| tive union men of the country appreciate
the logic Of the situation and understand
that the president has done what any
honest and fearless man would do In
his place. They realize that there never
was and never will be in the White House
a man more friendly to the interests OF
labor than Theodore Roosevelt. We have
| no doubt that such a man as John Mitch
ell realizes that the president Is right.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
EGYPTIAN COTTON I'M MEXICO

Mexico has imported for trial In her
province of M1choacan a lot of the long
staple Egyptian cotton seed, and If it
grows well there it may open a new door
Of prosperity for the state equal to those
argentiferous ones, like gates Of Plutus
palace, which lead downward into her
mines. Wise statesmanship and rational
and respectable politics during the last
quarter Of a century, since President Diaz
came In, have done wonders for the coun-
try. more ten times over than its long
string Of Spanish viceroys working thru
three centuries and over, were able to ac-
complish. Long staple Mexican cotton will
be a new commodity in the market, but
there is plenty Of room for it, and Just
now particularly encouraging prices.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30

So long as this terror is on us,
So long will disorder hold sway
And the Saxon, turned savage in vengeance.
Will throttle and slaughter and fay.
blush for the lust of my fellows
Proclaimed in the bleach Of your skin,
And I take 1t as penance in patience
To suffer the shame of this sin,
To bear your inlrmities with you
In the yoke of a punitive Fate
On the upward and devious highway
Till we come to the Beautiful Gate.
But this you must know and remember:
I lead led you of yore.
help, but I stoop not in lifting,
For ever my strength Is the more.
Not I, but Cod has decreed tt
This ratio Of races and men
And revolt were but senseless rebellion
With Paradise forfeit again.
And so beseech you, my brother,
In the love have shown you of old,
To read in the record of
The wisdom the ages have told.
This way there is comfort and virtue
The other shudder to say
For the Saxon himself may turn savage
And throttle and slaughter and fay.
Clarence Ousley in Democracy.
New York, Sept 49, 1908.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
A Bunch Of Good Stories.
THE CAPTAINS SOCKS
Lippincott's Magazine,

I Magazine.
enough. can afford TO wear them once
and throw them away at that price"
The next afternoon Captain Hawkins
limped into the same shop, look OF
mingled pain and rage on his face.
Say" he demanded, as his eyes fell
on the SNUG proprietor, what do you
mean by selling me such socks as bought
here yesterday. No thanks to you If I'm
not crippled for life. There's hard seam
the length Of the foot as big as my little
finger. What kind of a stocking do you
call that?' and the captain gared fercely
thru his glasses.
ell thought you were an undertaken,
SIR" stammered the shopkeeper.
ooh, you did, did you? and what If
was?'
eve always sell socks like that to un-
dertakers, so when you asked for them I
thought you was one. They buys them
for their customers, sir, customers as
hasn't any more walking to do-corpses.
you know. Corpses always wears them
socks.'' And the SNUG "sales-gentle-
man. smiled blandly.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
sUPERsTITIoNs ABOUT BEES
London Chronicle

A correspondent of the Field states that
three times with in his experience have
bees died within their hives on the death
of their owners 1t would be interesting
to know if those bees were informed Of
the death, for it is common superstition
in rural parts that bees kept in a garden
of house where death occurs if not
informed of the event will either die or
leave the hive. Hence, the custom is still
observed of making three taps on the
hives with the door key, after which the
bees are told of the sad event. piece
of black crepe is then fixed to the hive or
hives, and an offering of pounded funeral
cake, scoaked in wine. is placed at the
entrance. Another common belief is that
if bees when warming settle on a hedge
stake there is certain to be an almost i'm.
mediate death in the family of their owner.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30

on those above, fearful Of losing their
places. We who are In the struggle or
following the camps can't see much more
than the fighters, but we may rest as
sured that this fighting is leading some
where and will evolve something. Man
does not mold his destiny out Of clay;
rather he knocks 1t out Of the hard gran
lite. Conflict is progress. The old order
never gives place to the new without a
battle. Somehow in this chaos and this
struggle Of class against class a new or
der Is being worked out.
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
THE SEX that EATS PICKLES

New York Sun.
Il always thought. " said waiter, that
the stories about women being such great
pickle eaters were just Jokes told by
people who thought they were funny; but
one OF my first experiences as a waiter
taught me in a very simple manner that
the stories were true
This was in a restaurant where we had
many women customers, one side of
the restaurant being for men, and the
other side for women. On the women's
side we used to have to fill the pickle
jars that stood on the tables every day,
while the Jars on the mems side had to
be filed only once in two days.
SO here, you see, the women regularly
ate about twice as many pickles as the
men did, and should say that that is
about what they always do everywhere,
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
WELL SHOD MEN

The solid men of New York wear calf
skin shoes during business hours, and
most of their footwear is Of the common
sense kind. Patent feathers cause corns
and bunions. They are impervious. The
skin Of the calf Is porous, allowing the
foot to breathe. Morgan's foot, a No. II,
is so heavy shod that the ground trembles
when he walks. President Roosevelt af-
fects thick and broad soles, square toes
and fiat heels. James r. Keene's foot is
little larger than that Of a, Chinese belle
R. T. Wilson, the banker, wears a No. 13,
very fiat and wide. He has two of the
biggest feet in town. All the big bugs pay
5 cents for a shine. The sporting element
revels in patent feathers at 10 cents a
no1ish
The Minneapolis journal., 1903-09-30
WILL CHANGE INDIAN NAMES

DR.. Charles A. Eastman, whose admir-
able book on Indian Boyhood" has met
with such success, has been appointed a
special agent to revise the allotment rolls
of the Sioux and see that they are given
permanent family names. This Is in pur-
suance of the eNgeneral plan of merging the
indians into American citizenship. It is
cacy. Preferably the original native name
will be preserved, but all vulgar nick
names and incorrect translations and any
thing which might mortify or make the
civilized Indian appear ridiculous are to
be rejected Each Indian must be person
ally consulted when any change appears
necessary.