New-York tribune., 1903-05-28

gagged friend named Adams to work the apparatus
while he talked. But when the inventor to
address his audience he felt dazed that he simply
said: Ladies: Mr.. Adams will now address you on
electricity and will demonstrate what he has to
say with the apparatus
THE DAILY TORTURE
What is this wall Of woe we hear
That rends the morning atmosphere
Without our cottage door?
Is it some soul in agony
Some one in mighty grief?
All, Hsteni Let US go and see
If We can give relief
But, hold-there IS no one in sight
And yet that dolefuI cry
Comes keenirg with intensest might,
And ending with Sigh.
Is it some banshee Wild and weird.
That seeks its haunts by day?
Which harrows Us this way?
Now nearer comes the shrilIing wall
And louder grows the sound.
Small wonder cheeks are growing pale
And hearts begin to bound.
He aoF1, eomesI = Jgst @ At The The corn corpqer there'
It is the wretch who splits the air
@sTK6B-B 81 81 BB-BUR -BUR-R-REE-E-E-s
-tChicago Tribuus.
4 negro preacher down South has discovered the
real cause Of the recent volcanic disasters. He
says: De earf, my friends resolves on axels. as
we all know. Somehn' Is needed to keep the axels
creased; so when de earf ma de. PETROLEUM was
put inside for dat purpose. De Standard OIL
Conp'ny comes along an strax dat petroleum by
borin holes in de earf. De earf stix its axels
an, won't 20 round no more den dere is hot box.
tust as ef de earf big railway train-ard den.
my Erien', dere IS trouble.
As there seems no prospect of shutting out the
Chicago nicrobe from our water supply We might
tartan value is not vet esta blished but sport
ing proposition ne already affords some -o Sppor,
microbes to this point has been established It
ten days six hours and three minutes. This record
we believe was made by bacillus prodigiosus some
months ago and has not as yet been broken. How
the lists and we may expect better time than that
ea The bacteG0gs shall 4aye ns s5 Rad TINE IL SAT9 TO
opened for savans. They can maintain a stud of
rs racers 1 are deoped These products can be
sold 10 Chicago and St Louis sports" and raced
RooRs Of course the rnicrobe race viii lack some
then 1hf here vii be no ookeyng and the best bug
will win. Training quarters can be established in
public may go and study up on the form" of
favorites. In the sporting columns Of the papers
or Newport ton charts OF our 6 Pet 6ggs sqG9 m
tail in trial spin yesterday morning, and may
be scratched" or 'Spirillum Obermeeri is entered
attention. The mcrobe race is bound 10 be great
feature OF the Worlds Fair.-(St. Louis Globe
Democrat
T r. Broad, who won the Stock Exchange walk
that gave LONDON something u Interest anu no
great Importance to talk about the other week,
had never walked fifty miles before at a stretch.
When he neared the winning post Jealous police
man took him by the shoulder and showed him
back into the crowd with the injunction to make
way for the winner. But his worst mischance befell
the day afterward when report had gained cur
rency that he. with several of his competitors had
succumbed to his exertions. His baggage hap
pened TO have been sent TO the wrong hotel After
good sleep he took at the conclusion of the race.
nap of something like a day and half. he
out in search of his baggage, and found he would
have to be identified. oh. no." said the hotel
people 'you can't be Mr.. Broad. He's dead we
have it the best authority
English workingrnan. He happened TO see an
image Of the virgin Mary standing the manteI-
OF making talk. he asked how it got there. Well.
you see. sir Il cum about this way replied his
Maria-an' I wusnt lust ssrtn which I to
ave. One day. wor starin' into shop winder.
meath it. That came right ONE 10 me. I med
up me mind right off to ave Maria; an We was
spuced. She bin a reel guide wife to me. an so I
bought the image to keep it in mind"-CThe Wes-
leyen. Halifax, N 8.
A story has reached the State Department at
Washington of a novel to which q life insur-
anee policy was recently put by Amer trav-
cling in Russia The citizen in question had neg
lected TO provide himself with passport. and when
he arrived at the borders OF the Cars domains
he was held up By an Official with demand for
his passport For an instant the American
stumped but he quickly rose to the emergency.
Diving into his inside pocket he pulled out his life
insurance policy and handed it TO the Russian.
The latter gravey looked tra paper over carefully
scrutinizing the imposing looking seal and the
ray of signatures. with satisfied air he handed
back the paper and the American passed on.
Too Limited.-"You must DO more walking"
But. doctor. already have an automobile"