The National tribune., 1903-06-11

citizens, thank you for the honof-
. 20. get down to business." aA4onisheJ
, fore tattoo. Monty, which we won't if
= ven begin to talk about Yourself. The
J Chairman win stats the objects OF the
meeting"
Ham: yes. Friends and fellow-citi-
zens," resumed Monty, in the dry, formal
have assembled to consider matter Of un-
usual importance. A distinguished fel-
low -citizen"-
: Il call the Chairman to order" inter-
rupted Sim Dickinsheets, who was con-
siderable of politician himself. HE
soldier is distinguished fellow-citizen.
He's only a.
. THE Delegate from Swampoodle is out
2 of order HIMSELF" said Monty severely,
. trying to maintain the dignity OF his po-
; sition; No Delegate can call the Chair
/ to order"
yes 1 can. too" shouted Dickinsheets.
Much yon know about parliamentary
law. A Chairman's no better than any
other member. He can be called to order
same's anybody else"
$ The Delegate from Swampoodle is out
OF order. and will take his seat" shouted
Monty, pounding on the barrel with the
: shank of bayonet he was using as a
: gavel
Il amt out of order. I won't take my
seat. l won't be set down upon by any
young snip of recruit" shouted Dickin-
sheets.
Look here. Sim, won't have you dis
turbng public meetin' this way warn
ed Corp1 Yawman. "Im Corporal OF the
iuard. and il you don't shut your head
IN yank you off to the guard-house. You
hear me-?
"There it is again" srowled Dickin-
sheets. subs'd;ng. Military tyranny ev-
erywhere. No meetin' free from it. But
l insist that | can call the Chairman to
order, though they send me to Fort La
fayette for it."
Go on and state the objects Of the
meeting, Mr.. Chairman commanded
Yawman.
As | was saying when interrupted"
resumed Monty, I'VE are assembled upon
an occasion of great Importance? A lead
ing fellow-citizen"-
There he goes again." interrupted
DickInsheets. "Fellow-citizen, when we're
all mere minions Of
"Mr. Chairman" called Yawman, "I
move the appointment of Sergeant-at-
Arms to disperse this rabble"
THE Chair appoints the gentleman who
has just risen Sergeant-at-Arms, and di-
rects him to maintain order," said Monty,
Hear that, Sim? Now quile," said
Corporal Yawman.
"One of our leading fellow-citizens." re-
sumed Monty, is about to take a very
important step in life step. may say,
which many others hope to follow as soon
as they get released from their present en-
gagement with Uncle Sam, and make 9th
ers from which Abe Lincoln can't dis
charge them"
"Hi-yi-yi," yelled the boys. "We're all
candidates. as soon as we can find the
girls to give us the nominations"
Get down to business, Monty. Get
down to business. Monty. Get down to
business" urged Yawman. "In have to
go and relieve guard pretty soon. Don't
talk Just to hear yourself"
when the Chair wants any advice
from the Sergeant-at-Arms it viii request
man. whom we all admire, Is about to be
united in matrimony to the young lady for
whom We have the highest esteem"-
Hold on: there, Monty" broke in ALI
Russell. You're cutting into nv part.
You know I'm Chairman OF the Commit
tee on Resolutions, and I'm to say
The Chair must not be interrupted in
e stating the object Of the meeting" ruled
Monty.
e But you mustn't 60 on all night, talk
+ ing yourself, and using up all the big
t words" interposed Yawman. "Let the
. other toys have show"
: I'D like to know who's doing as much
e talkin, as you are, Josh Yawman." yelled
Sim Dickinsheets. give your mouth
2 leave Of absence"
Yawman retorted angrily, and the har-
mony of the meeting was broken by
a heated squabble. with Monty pounding On
S the barrel with his bayonet. and demand
t ing order. When peace was at last re-
e stored, it was found that there was no
: time to read All RusselPs eulogistic but
n entirely too lengthy resolutions on the par
o ties to the marriage, whereat ALI was
t overcast with gloom, for he was as proud
of his literary genius as Monty was Of his
] eIocutlon. He was cons0led, however, by
S their being passed unanimously, with a di-
s rection that they be presented to the brids
2 and groom, engrossed in Alf's best hand.
Now, gentlemen" announced Monty,
S I'VE come to the real business Of tbs
evening. Resolutions are all very we'll,
= but we want to do something more SUBJ
: stantial than pass resolutions. We wan.
e to make present that'll be worthy Of US
and the bride and groom. What shall it
: bey"
n There came volley Of suggestions.
L Everyone wanted to give money, but mon
ey was not what they wanted to present.
: 1t was not the right character Of a we'd
d ding gift. They wanted to buy a house or
furnish it. or give the bride silver set,
i or gold watch. All these were can
: vassed in Committee of the Whole, and
: decided as impracticable under the pres
ent circumstances.
y A thought occurred to Harry Joslyn.
C '.Say. they'll want ring to get married
a with" he shouted.
Yes. yes" they all called expectantly
e You all know that big diamond the
S Quartermaster wears. He says it cost
S him $500. He sat into a streak of bad
luck at poker last night. and to-day 1
heard him offer to sell it to the Commits
l sary for $3.50. but the Commissary didn't
< want it. Let's buy it for a wedding ring
| for them'
S In couple Of minutes the necessary
= $50 was in his hands. with injunctions to
: go and make the purchase Immediately.
: There goes tattoo" announced Monty
"Fal in for roll-calli This meeting stands
: adjourned without day"
r CTo be continued.)
MASON AND DIXON'S LINE