davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
CONDENSED STORIES.
How a Mild Man Got the Best OF Two
impairment Women.

Frederick Gerhard told an anus
ing story of railway tunnel.
GA friend of mine," he said, "sat
reading in the parlor car of train
when two women entered. After
that he read in comfort no longer,
for it happened that he was dressed
in English clothes of pronounced
type, and to these clothes the wom-
en- for some reason took exception.
They snickered in my friends face /;
they kept whispering to one anoth-
er, with giggles and sidewise chances
at him; they kept saying in tones
that he could hear:
Did you ever see such a shirt p
"'Pot hats-fried egg hats-you
call those things
Don't the trousers fit funny?
"My friend is a mild man, but
after ten or fifteen minutes of this
adverse criticism his blood began to
boil. He asked himself how he could
get even with the women. While
he was revolving various schemes
in his mind the train entered long
black tunnel, and Immediately a
happy thought came to him.
"Half way through the tunnel he
put the back of his hand to his
mouth and kissed it violently and
noisily four or five times. The wo-
men after that were silent. He
watched them when the train came
out into the light again, and it
pleased him to see how strangely
they looked at one another. He,
for his part, looked at them in an
equally strange way. For a long
time he looked at them; then he
said:
"'Which one of you was it that
kissed me in the tunnel p"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
A-,Poliecman's restomenv.

]. n. Patterson, nighht Policeman
Nashua, Ia, writes: Last wintre
had a bad cold on my lungs and
ried at least a half dozen advertised
ough medinines and had treatment
rom two physician without getting
ny benefit. A friend recommended
'oleys Honey and Tar and two
bird of a bottle cured me. Iconsid-
r it theIsgreatest cough and lung
Medicine in the world" Sold ~
Frost & Spies.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03


A small company of Alaskan gold
seekers were walking across one Of the
great ice fields in that winter bound
country when one Of them noticed a
difference in the color of the ice a few
yards before them. Almost as he spoke,
however, the treacherous coating Of
thin ice across a jagged crevasse gave
way, and with an awful cry the two
foremost men went down with the
crumbHng glittering surface. A third
man would have followed, but his gun
lodged crosswise in the crevice and
saved him. The other two had sunk
out of sight, only their voices guiding
their rescuers. Blankets were torn into
strips and all the available rope used
as well to reach the unfortunate prison
ers, to whom hatchets also had to be
lowered to hack their way out, SO tight
ly had they been damned In between
the ice powders by their fall Of fifty
feet or more. When they reached the
surface again they were in fainting
condition, and 1t was many days be-
fore they recovered from the effects Of
the time spent In that Icy tomb.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
st WANT A JOB ON THE PLATFORM. f"

when he spied the majors modest
sign in the window of the Everett
House.
'Here's the man that incites the
lecturers" said Nye. 'Let's go in
and see if we can't induce him to
lead a better life"
Entering, Nye removed his hat
and ran his hand over the hairless
expanse of his head and after star
ing about for a moment said:
'This is Major Pond, | believe"
eyes, sir. What can I do for
you~ answered the major.
81 want to get job on the plat
form" returned Nye.
"Ah, yes" said the major slowly.
"Have you had experience ?"
"Well, I've been before the pub
lie for a couple Of years.
eyes? May ask in what capac-
ity?"
Owe been with Barnum; sat con-
cealed in the bottom of a cabinet
and exhibited my head as the lar
gest ostrich egg in captivity" Sat
urday Evening Post.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
100 Reward. 500.

The readers of this paper will be
LEASED to learn that there is at least
me dreaded disease that science has
1een able to cnre in all it's stages
md that is catarrh. Halls
}atarrh Cure is the only positive
cure now known to the medical fra
lernity. Catarrh being a constitu
tional disease, requires a constitu
Siopal treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure is taken internally, acting di
rectly on the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system, destroying the
foundation of the disease, and civ
ing the patient strength by building
1p the constitution and assisting ma
lure in doing It's work. The pro
prietors have SO much faith in it's
curative powers, that they offer one
Dollars for any case that it
fails to cure. Send for list of t est
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03

There is only one place il the wor.l
where the sun sets twict> log. and
that is at Leek. in Staffordshirn, En-.
land. The reason of this is that a jag
ged mountain is situated to the V.>s1 O.
the town, and in the evening t--p syn
sets behind it and darkness comes on.
Then the first sunset occurs. the gas
lamps are lit, and apparently night has
set in. But it has not, for in the SAGE
of an hour or so the sun rPaDneaT
again through the opening at the sid
of the mountain, and daylight aga:a
appears. Artificial lights are extin
guished and daylight again prevails u
til the sun descends below the openin@
and the second sunset occurs and nigh
comes to stay.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
NAPOLEONIC MEMORIES.

BY the generosity of an ardent
Bonapartist, M. Osiris, Malmaison,
which after St. Cloud may be con-
sidered the very temple Of Napo-
leonism, is to become the property
of the French nation. 1t will lie
preserved as a Napoleonic museum,
perhaps the strongest proof we
could have that even in the minds
of Bonapartists the brief, brilliant
period of their worship is forever
consigned to the past. Malmaison,
or I'll Abode" as the name implies,
was, the event proved, an almost
fatefully Greek gift to poor Joseph
inc. Given to her by Bonaparte
in 1898, prior to his departure for
Egypt, her fancy endowed it with all
the superficial beauties of a period
in which, like am mt Rome, France
adapted to herse.4 some superficial
aspects of the irreconcilable reli-
gions, the arts and PHILOSOPHERS of
many conquered nations. Here she
lived in glory with Napoleon, who
played trictrac with her guests in
the brief periods of ease between
campaigns like those of Egypt, Ma
rengo and Austerlitz, and here aft
er her divorce in 1909 she lived her
long life of abandoned seclusion.-
London Globe.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
Wanted.

We would like to ask, drought
the columns of your paper, if there is
any person who has useda Green 8
August Flower for the cure of Indi-
gestlon, Dyspepsia,o sand Liver
troubles that as not been ocured-
and we also mean their results. such
as sour stomach, fermentation Of
food, habitual costiveness. nervou
dyspepsia. headaches, ( Respondent
feelings, sleeplessness-in fact. anv
trouble connected with the stomach
or liver? This medicine has been
SOLD Tor many years in all civilized
ountrles, and we wish to3correspond
With you and send you"one of our
BOOKS free of cost. If you never
tried August Flower, try a rs cent
bottle first. We have never known
of It's failing. If so, something more
serious is the matter with you. The
70 cent size has just been introduced
this year. Regular size Is cents. At
Frost q spies. G. G.sGreen,
Woodbury., N. J.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
Imagination.

Sir Robert Ball, the English as
tronomer, recently was showing a
visitor double star through tele-
scope, and, since his friend was not
an expert, Sir Robert thought to
improve the occasion by a word or
two of information. Zone of those
stars goes round the other" was his
remark.
eyes, I saw il" said the visitor.
AS a matter of fact, the star in
question takes little over 900 years
to revolve around its fellow!
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03

s.alt is rank foolishness to ATTEMPT
to remove sallowness or gressiness
of the skin by the use of cosmetics.
or local treatment, as advocated
by the beauty doctors. The onlv
safe and sure way that woman can
improve her complexion is by purify
ing and enriching the blood, which
can only be accomplished by keeping
the liver healthy and active. The
liver is the seat of disease and blood
pollution. Green's August Flower
acts directly son the liver, cleanses
and enriches the blosd, puriies the
complexion. It also cures consti-
patton, biliousness, nervousness, and
induces refreshing sleep. A single
bottle of August Flower has been
known to cure the most pronounced
and distressing case of dyspepsia
and digestion. New trial size bottle
20 cents; regular size IS cents. At
Frost & Spies.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
Used to 1t.

Manager-That young woman whom
placed at this counter year ago al
ready knows more about the business
than you do. and l find that | shall
have to put her at the head Of the Ge
partment, though fear it will be rath
err unpleasant for you to DE under he
orders.
Clerk-Oh, no; l am getting used /
that. We were married six month
ago
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
DO YOU WALA STRAIGHT?
Few People Dc, Says n Fault Finder
Who Notices Things

u
Who Notices Things.
"Have you ever noticed how few peo-
pie walk straight?' said the man who
inds fault. Il am not speaking in a
spiritual sense, neither do I refer to
their gait, which is certainly bad
enough but to the crookedness Of their
path. A straight road is not at all
times possible, admit, and when the
streets are most crowded a fellow is
sxcusable for darling ;pound any old
way, but when given a clear sidewalk
can't for the life Of me see why he
cannot walk straight
"Watch any man-and women are
lust as bad-who starts out from home
at an hour when other people in the
neighborhood are busy on their own
doorsteps and give him a clean sweep.
Since there are no distractions in the
way, there is no reason ON earth why
he should not proceed in a straight
line to the nearest corner, but instead
pf pursuing that undertaking course
be zigZags most suspiciously. Now he
Is perilously near the curb, now brush
Ing against the area railing, while oc-
casionally he evens things up by TAX
Ing a few steps in the middle of the
pavement. The people who thus waver
In their gait are perfectly sober and
would be surprised if anybody should
show them diagram of their tracks.
Naturally all that veering and lacking
- III
travelled, which is another reason why
people in hurry should learn to walk
straight. New York Times.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
Nye and Major Pond.

The late Major Pond managed
Bill Nye for several lecture seasons,
but their first meeting was rather
informal. Nye was one day walking
down Fourth avenue with a friend
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03

Mrs. G. E. Roberts, San Francisco
Cal, Would not do without Rocky
Mountain Tea in our house. It's
great family remedy. Makes keeps
us well. Fox Bros.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
A weakness Overc . me.

Flossy-W hat a naughty air Alies
has! She used to be so bashful.
Mayme-Yes She's finally persuaf
ed herself that she's somebody. Z.
change.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03

Foley's Honey and Tar for coughs
md colds; reliable, tried and tested,
Jafe and sure, Sold by Frost &
Spies,
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
Published Every Thursday.
OWN BOARD PROCEEDINGS.

,cial meeting of the Board Of Super
held at the Office oflthe.".towEa sclerk,
2 1908,
citing called to order by the chairman
20 O'Clock p m,
9Sent: Fred T. Yates, Chairman; and
, ThOreson, supervisors,
)sent: Nose Jerome.
le following bills were audited and al
and the clerk instruc Geds to draw or
for their respective amounts: .
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
1887 Is
S94 90

The application of the Schlitz Brewing
'mpany to sell liquor in the town of
'ashburn, was read and upon motion
'anted. The sum of $500 90 has been
hid this date
There being no further business, upon mo-
on board adjourned.
r A Herring Town Clerk.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
$24S7 n
HIGHWAY FUND
Amount

anne. For what purpose. Amount
tnney and Oscar part payment Ash
nd road contract. .............. " 600 90
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-12-03
POOR FUND
Amount

rs / Oousineau board and care of T
Philleon and Mary Martin.
Jhn Teriault care of Mrs Shambo.,..
ed Rickhoff, rent Mrs Nichols 80. {
n Kinney, rent Mrs. Nogren.........
Ohn Score board P Werticeneau. 1
RS q E Bell. rent Pest House.
g LampsOn, assisting Mertens, op-
GRAFTON Mrs Negren ......,
inehart Hospital treatment Frank
Kane, Observation-Disclosures. go. .......
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-01-13
Deadly
LaGrippe Caused
Heart Trouble,
Nervous Prostitution
and Dyspepsia.
My Friends Know Heart
Cure Cured Me.

Mrs. c. o. Hurd, IIS w, Third St.. Musca.
tine, Ia, is well known throughout her
section OF Iowa as an ardent worker in the
M. E. Church. She says: LA Grippe left me
with severe case of nervous depression and
nervous dyspepsia, which soon affected my
heart. suffered from sleeplessness, head
ache, extreme nervousness and twitehing of
the muscles. The slightest exertion would
cause shortness of breath, numbness of my
body and hot flashes with pain. will tell
you what am constantly telling my friends
that DR.. Miles Heart Cure cured me so
that all these disagreeable symptoms left me.
may add that for severe pain have never
found anything to equal DR.. Miles Anti Pain
Pills and think the Nerve and Liver Pills are
a wonderful stomach remedy"
"Our son was stricken down with heart
trouble in his twentieth year. For two
months we got no sleep with him at night,
so we commenced to use DR.. Miles Heart
Cure and Nervine with the Nerve and Liver
Pills and today he is sound and well. In
fact he passed physical examination since
his sickness and is with the Army in the
Philippines. l desire to add that DR.. Miles
Anti-Pain Pills have certainly been boon
to me. am frequently troubled with sick
and nervous headaches and 1 have never
found anything that would relieve me so
quickly and leave me feeling so we'll there.
after."-Mrs. Alice Moad, Buffalo, Mo.
All druggists sell and guarantee first bot
tie DR.. Miles Remedies. Send for free book
on Nervous and Heart Diseases. Address
DR.. Miles Medical Co., Elkha1t, Ind.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-01-13
CHAPTER XXI.
THE BUILDING OF THE JUMPING
JUPITER

THE BUILDING OF THE JUMPING
JUPITER.
Work on the boat proceeded with
great rapidity. Under the superyi-
sion of Mr.. Carmody the foundation
timbers of the raft were felled and
rolled to the flat rock which served
as pier. His theory was to con-
struct raft with a sustaining pow
er of 5000 pounds. The buoyancy
of the timber was carefully tested,
ana an allowance made for the loss
by absorption of water. These ex-
periments showed that the timber
did not possess the proper specific
gravity to sustain the weight of a
cabin, masts and the eight voyagers.
This necessitated change of plan,
and the construction of air-tight
compartments. They therefore built
q framework of logs 40 feet in
length and IA feet in width, and so
mortised and pinned it together that
it could withstand any ordinary
strain. Every five feet it was braced
with cross timbers. This framework
was constructed on logs which
served as rollers. They foored it
over with the seasoned timber which
had been found back of the store
house. The cracks were caulked with
fiber from the cocoa palm and
smeared with pitch, which was found
III abundance in resinous trees. Upon
this foundation they erected the
framework for hull five feet in
depth, and then rolled the struc-
ture into the lake.
L. Sylvester Vincent solicited the
honor of naming the boat. He ar
gued that he was the youngest mem
Der of the party and the most in
nocent. His request was granted,
and he took his position at the for
ward end of the craft. In one hand
he held a quart bottle of mineral
water, while with the other he clung
to one Of the uprights. At signal
from Mr.. Carmody the blocks be-
meath the rollers We're knocked out
and the scow started clown the incline.
There was a four foot drop from
the rock to the water. With in
creasing momentum the structure
rolled down the slanting surface.
When the center passed the edge of
the rock, the forward end dived. At
that instant the alert Vincent
smashed the bottle against the up
right.
II name thee-Jumping Jupi-
ter"
The how went Is feet under water
and !. Sylvester Vincent went with
it. In the yeast o. wave and foam
Mr.. Vincent rose to the scrtace near
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-01-13

On. board the Shark, May 18th.
To Messrs. Palmer j. Morton, An
drus Carmody, John M. Rockwell,
Simon Pence, r. J. Kent, Hiram
Haven, Sidney Hammond and L. Syl-
vester Vincent, guests of Hestcria Is
land and Bungalow, with the compli-
ments Of
WALTER B. HEsToR.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-01-13
shaded his eve. with h;s hand.

shaded ms eyes with ms nand.
what is that?" he exclaimed,
pointing in the direction Of the rock,
where Mr.. Pence had so narrow an
escape. All eyes were turned to the
pointindicatedby Mr.. Rockwell. In the
freshening morning breeze, TRAN
gular white flag auttered from the
ledge Of rocks.
What does that mean?" said Sid
ney. mo one here has placed flag
on that rock"
Mr.. Pence and Mr.. Haven were at
work in the bungalow. They were
sent for, but had no knowledge Of
the flag. No member Of the party
had been across the bay since Mon
day. Certain it was that the flag
had not been there the preceding day.
1t was large white flag and could
not have escaped notice.
Lets investigate this" said Sid
ney. ut is well to be cautious"
He went to the bungalow and
brought back four rifles. Mr.. Kent,
Mr.. Morton and Mr.. Vincent were
selected to accompany him and they
were soon on the raft and down the
bay. They circled around the rock
from distance, but saw no sign of
human beings. There seemed to b
a pile of boxes and packages on the
apex Of the rocks.
1--WE will go in" said Sidney. "Mr.
Kent and will keep lookout"
Mr.. Morton and Vincent pushed the
raft forward and they swung in back
of the rock. It was low tide. The
first thing that attracted their atten-
ton was 15-foot yawl or dingy, well
up on the shore, with its painter
wrapped around tree. This boat
was brand new; not scratch show
ing on its vanished sides. The
handles of it's four oars showed no
traces of having been used. It was
such boat as four men could safe
ly use in ordinary weather, and
specially fitted for service on such
reach Of water as "Morton's Bay"
"A hurried examination revealed no
name and gave no clue to the manu-
facturer. 1t was model from which
thousands have been made.
On the brow Of rock was a pile
of boxes and cases. The flag fioated
from staff, which was propped up
by large stone. Just below the
flag was tab or card such as express
companies use, tied firmly to the
flagstaff. Mr.. Morton read the in
scription. 1t was as follows:
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-01-13

THERE WAS A ROAR OF LAUGHTER.
tempt. 1t evidently is his intention
that we remain where we are for an
indefinite period. 1t is impossible to
forecast what vagary his fancy may
take. doubt if he came near the
bungalow last night. If it is his idea
to keep us on the island and supply
us with luauries, he win object to
the construction of such boat as
we now have under way. There is
nothing to prevent his quietly COM
Ing in some night and towing The
Jumping Jupiter out to sea. This
would be calamity and we must run
no chances. The yawl he has given
us, is not seaworthy for more than
three men. If necessary, am ready
to make the trip to the mainland in
the yawl, but our best plan is to
remain together and finish our boat.
In the meantime, we should guard it
at night. 1 suggest that we detail
two men to night work on the boat.
They can work with lanterns and
guard our property at the same
time.'
eve will do that" said Mr.. Nor
ton. 81 will gladly take the night
shift for time. Who will go with
me?"
All volunteered, and Mr.. Morton
selected Mr.. Haven as his companion.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1903-01-13
he KIDNAPPED
MILLIONAIRES
A Tale Of Wall Street
and the Tropics - -
By FREDERICK u. ADAMS /!
a RI
SYNOPSIS.
Copyright, 1901, by Lothrcp rub!ishing Company.
Al rights yoGeYyed.

6xNOPS1Ss
CHAPTER 1.-The sensational news OF
the disappearance of four of New York s
wealthiest millionaires appears in the
New York Record and startles that city.
CHAPTER II.-Robert Van Horne Is
owner Of the Record and William Chal-
a young millionaire friend Of Van Horne,
has hobby for journalism and offers
his services gratis. Hestor has made a
world wide reputation as reporter, and
fh GHSPlr l imm2fitalze esfhdSF ns aFranges
meeting with p. j. Morton, financier and
railroad magnate. and states his plans
for the formation of a newspaper trust.
CHAPTER lV.-R. J. Kent, the famous
stock market. forcing many small firms
cHArTER v.-one morning Andrus
and Simon Pence. millionaires, cannot
be found and the stock exchange is panic
st rfa Pr as VT result II. -.
bouts of men can be discovered but next
day letters are received from them saw
ing they are all safe. L. Sylvester Vim
cent. Chicago promoter. has also dis
CHAPTER v1I;,-Miss Helen Carmody.
daughter of Andrus Carmody. calls on
large reward through the Record for
rescue of the millionaires and srrest of
'H Gd aaaP9i5fRE s-v111-chalmers bends ev-
cry effort to work of rescue. greatly for
Helen's sake. Seymour. a reporter at Chi
cago. telegraphs that Vincent is the abb
Hestor's whereabouts: latter had report
ed he was about to leave on a trip to
GH zPtFEhRss Yseht t9s sshash
evidence is unearthed pointing to Hestor
as the. abductor. Chalmers and Helen
Carmody become quite friendly while
welklne teketSe 9s ss tSs f eoss 60 rev
Orleans and learns that Hestor had had
house built for him recently somewhere
IN fhs s Fa& sal.-nestor nao invited mn.
yacht and discuss his newspaper trust
scheme. They had accepted and when
out Of the harbor he told them they were
he had intended to learn II the universe iS Sc
would continue to run in their absence.
They are all thunderstruck at the infor-
nation. Vincent. the promoter makes his
appearance on the boat. Sidney Ham
mond. young lawyer friend of Hestor,
GH sRP1ns Of x the 9Hnrty at,emn, to nr,ns
Heseor to return to New York proves a
fail1 aa1 Err x111-After vovao. ., .
few days they come to an island in the
= cHAPTER x1v.1Here they aepark and
intended fol. them. Hestor unloads great
quantities Of provisions and Furnishings,
telling the mlionaires they viii stay here
III soi.S lHne. 1uey awake next MORN
Ing is aa Hestsr sPS t ay gaaht sienstIo
and find there Is nothing to do but to
m sf IF Rsst t # DAY is spent y
exploring island. which is situated evil
nea5S = fhe eay e. asgsr k fSeaad renee
and Vincent set out on raft for the
mainland on tour of exploration. A
GHxPfEK xV Vi feisasss and .ai' Vincent
discover an old temple in a ruined city
and find a number of solid gold idols.
much to Pence's hanpiness.
SIIarl NiA.-rnc cHpJIveS u1clue TO
build houseboat and attempt to escape
to the mainland.
CHAPTER Xx.-one day boat is
sighted and 1t comes close to the island
III: islanders have erected.