davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
Sent to the Teachers.
ON the Savannah. (Ga.) News,

from the savannah, (Ga. News,
Here is a batch of excuses,
letters of complaint and requests
that were received by teachers in
the Philadelphia public schools
during the session just closed,
says the Philadelphia Ledger.
They seem to prove most conclu-
sively that truth is certainly
stranger than fiction.
Teacher: Georgie's mother got
no catching illness. She got a
girl. Very respt. His Aunt.
Teacher: If Louis is bad, please
lick him till his eyes are blue. He
is very stubborn. He has a great
deal Of the mule in him-he takes
after his father. Mrs. P.
Teacher: | dink you are a
fool, you want my boy to read
when he don't no no alferbits.
Please teach him some.
Miss Brown: You must stop
teach my Lizzie fisical torture
she needs yet reading and figors
NIT sums more as that, if | want
her to do jumping kin make her
jump. Mrs. Canavowsh.
Teacher: My boy tells me that
when l triuk beer I get drunk and
swears. Please be so kind and
don't wild my family affairs.
Mrs. G..
Teacher: What shall | do NIT
Charley? When we want to lick
der little imp he gets the bed far
under where we can't reach for
him, and must put a hook on der
bed room door to hold him for his
licking. Please soak him in school
shust as often as you got time.
Mrs. Snedivelt.
Teacher: John says you want
to see me. l have bier saloon
and mine children, Bizness is
good morning an aft noon. How
can | cume. Mrs. Flynn.
Teacher: Place excousie Mickie
he went to see the Bannums.
Mrs. Casey.
Teacher: Please excuse Henry
for not comeing in school, as he
died from the car ron-over Tues
day. By doing so, you will
greatly ablige his loving mother.
Miss Blank: Please excuse
my Paul for being absent he is
yet sick with Dipterry and her
doctors don't tink he will discover
to oblige his loving aunt, Mrs.
| am his mothers sister
from her first husband.
Dear Teacher: Pleas excuse
Fritz for staying home he had der
measles to oblige his father. B.
Teacher Please excuse Rachel
for being away these to days her
grand mother died to oblige her
mother. Mrs. Henski.
Miss: Frank could not come
there three wks because he had,
the amonia and information of
the bowels. Mrs. Smith.
Teacher: You must excuse
my girl for not coming to school
she was sick and lade in COM
mon dose state for three days.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
GOOD STREETS a NECESSI-
TY 10 PROGRESS.

Tho recent election held by the
citizens of our town to find out
the wishes of the public as TO
improving our main thorough
fares, should meet the endorse
ment as we'll as hearty co-opera-
ton of every friend to progress
and seeker Of prosperity. While
paving or graveling streets will
cause a temporary rise in the cor
poration tax, it will prove true
economy in the long run. No
one who has spent the winter
months in our town and expert
enced the discomforts of mud
holes and mires, will dispute the
need of an Improvement in our
streets. The good roads system
failed to help them, except tenn
porarily, and graveling seems to
be the most feasible means oi
rendering them passable through
the rainy season.
Graveling the streets would
save the owners of vehicles the
wear and tear of property as wei
as great strain upon-teams. L
would ,save time-God's mos
precious gift-and the constanf
drain upon the public purse nec-
essary to keep the streets passa'
/ ble. The citizens of our county
would also reap the advantage
of good streets. Finding it con
venient to market their farm pro
ducts at all seasons, in fair wealth
er as well as foul, would be a de-
cided inducement to bring trad,
to our town.
The location of the Oil Mil
here, is another reason for tn
necessity of good streets, tn
year around. If we propose t.
keep pace with other progressiv
| towns, and compete with them il
the development of resources, w
must have good streets, if it take
the pull of our lives to have them
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
READi
M lem PHIS
WEEKLY
NEWS

The MEMPHIS WEEKLY NEWS Is
q new Metropolitan paper Of from 10
to Is pages and contains all the tele-
graphic and foreign news. and all the
news of this section. 1t Is the once-a-
week edition Of the MEMPHIS MORN
ING NEWS. It stands for Democracy
at all times and is second TO NO paper
as purveyor Of news.
The MEMPHIS WEEKLY NEWS ca
tiers especially to the South and Is q
Home and Farm necessity.
We have clubbing arrangement
with the MEMPHIS WEEKLY NEWS
and can offer that paper with our
Weekly at remarkably low subscrip-
tion price Old as we'll as new Sub
scribers can take advantage of this
great inducement, but they must re-
quest the MEMPHIS WEEKLY. NEWS
at the time.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
THE RIGHT MOTIVE.

A prominent politician of our
state asserts that he has done
more for the public, hoping to
gain popularity, than he has for
himself or family, but he realizes
that he has enemies by the score,
and not one single friend that he
can trust implicitly. Like all
others who have served the pub
lie from purely selfish motives,
this politician has met with dis
appointment. His objectin serv-
ing other people was for self
advancement, and his devices
were apparent to all. Right mo-
tives are as necessary for sue
cess in gaining popularity, as
well as in other enterprises. Sell
fishness may attempt to hide its
cloven foot, but unless we'll COW
cred by generosity, it will show
up in spite of well laid schemes
and plans.
No one can afford to serve the
public from purely disinterested
motives, without hope of appre-
citation or reward in some form,
but there should at least be suf-
ficient disinterested interest in
public affairs to cause us to lose
sight of self when the public veal
or woe are concerned. The dis
appointed politician should con-
slider the other side, before he
condemns his fellow-man as
basely ungrateful and unappre-
ciative.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
A number of years ago, before

A number of years ago, before
the present occupant of the White
House had dreamed of the presi-
dency, he made speech in the
hearing of that astute politician,
James G. Blaine, who is reported
to have said: "That fellow
Theodore Roosevelt is a spoil
ed boy. He is trying to make
capital out of abusing me. but he
will not amount 10 anything. |
have watched pub ic men all my
life, and | have never known any
one who was near sighted to sue
ceed. Roosevelt will spend his
life fighting the inevitable. p
Democrat Star.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
Dysentery Cured without the Aid of
IA Doctor,

81 am just up from hard spell OF
the fiux'' (dysentary) says Mr.. L. A.
Pinner, well known merchant of
Drummond. Tenn. II used one small
bottle of Cham berlain's Collie, Cholera
and Diarrhoea Remedy and cured
without having doctor. | consider
it the best cholera medicine in the
world" There is no need of employ
ing a doctor when this remedy is
used, for no doctor can prescribe a
better medicine for bowel complaint
in any form either for children or
adults. 1t never fails and is pleasant
to take. For sale by R. r. Chiffon 4
Co., druggists.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
A man once got a dun through

A man once got dun through
the post office and it made him
mad. He went to see the editor
about it and the editor showed
him some duns he had received
himself, one for paper. one for
stationary, one for ink and sever
al others. Now said the pa
tent editor. 81 don't get mad
when these come. I knew that /
owed them and l relied on you
and the others who owe me to
come in and pay me SO that |
could pay them. You see we all
depend on somebody" The mad
subscriber saw the force of the
argument and said he was sorry
he had let the bill run 50 long.
How about ours?-Exchange.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
A WORM KILLER,

Mr.. j. A. j. Montgamer, of Puxico,
Wayne County, Mo-, writes: 81 have
little twins girls, who have been
bothered with worms all their lives.
/ tried everything TO relieve them
which failed until l used Whites
Cream Vermifuge; the first two doses
brought four worms from one of them
the next two doses, twelve, one oil
them measuring twelve inches; the
other child was only relieved of four
worms. 1t is most excellent medi-
cine." WI ties Cream VeImifuge is
good for children. 1t not only des-
troys worms, it helps the child to per-
feet growth, wards off sickness. 25
cents at the Oxford Pharmacy.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
END OF BITTER FIGHT.

1.-TWO physicians had long and
stubborn fight with an abcess on my
right lung" writes J. r. Hughes, of
DUPONT, Ca, s'and gave me up.
Everybody thought my time had come
As last resort tried DR.. Kings New
Discovery for Consumption. The
benefit / received was striking and /
was on my feet in a few days. Now
Ive entirely regained my health. !"
1t conquers ali Coughs. Colds and
Throat and Lung troubles. Guaran-
teed at A. III. Kendel's drug store.
Price 90 cents aud S1.00. Trial bottles
free.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
MATCH EuR A CHILL.

However slight at this time of year
and il this climate, it is the forerun-
ner of malaria. A disposition to yawn
and an all tired out feeling even
comes before the chill. Herbine, by
its prompt stimulative action on the
liver, drives the malarial germs out
of the system, puriies the blood,
tones up the system and restores
health. Scots at the Oxford Pharmacy
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
NOT ayER-wrSE.

There is an old allegorical of a girl
scared at a grass hopper, but in the
act of heedlessly treading Oh snake.
This is paralieled by the man who
spends large sum of money building
a cyclone cellar, but neglests TO pro
vide his family with bottle of Cham
berlain's Collie, Cholera and Diar-
rhoea Remedy as a safeg guard against
bowel complaints, whose victims out
number those of the cyclone a hun
dred t. one This remedy is every
where recognized as the most prompt
and reliable medicine in use tor these
diseases. For sale by r. R. Chiffon
& Co.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
PUTS AN END TO IT ALL.

A grievous wall oftimes comes as a
result of unbearable pain from over
taxed organs. Dizziness, Backache,
Liver complaint and Constipation.
But thanks to DR. Kings New Life
Pills they put an end to it ALL They
are gentle but thorough. Try them
Only 25 cents. Guaranteed by A. II.
kendel's drug store.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
ICE! ICE!!

We are now prepared to
furnish the public with ICE
every day. Delivery at all
hours during the week and at
Gam and 5 pm on Sunday.
Send US your orders. Phone
No. 120.
TURNER s. RoDEN,
Near the Depot.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
WINE OF fcARDuL
THE DEATH PENALTY

A little sometimes results in death
Thus mere scratch, insignificant
cuts or punny boils have paid the
penalty. 1t is wise to have BuckIen's
Arnica Salve ever handy. It's the best
Salve on earth and vii. prevent fatal
ty, when Burns, Sores, Ulcers and
Piles threaten. Only 25 cents at a III
hendel's drug store
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

ADMIRAL COTTON, it is under
stood, is to recomend that guns
be dispensed with on future bat
tie ships and the space saved be
made into banquet halls-parlors
for Royal visitors and champagne
tanks.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

r Congress intends to have a
dinculty with the president, ss
many suppose it will, the con-
s;deration of the nomination of
Gen. Leonard Wood may start
the scrap"
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
Su5scri be for THE EGLAE.
SUICIDE PREVENTED.

The startling announcement that a
preventive of suicide had been run
covered will interest many. A dis
down system, or despondency inva-
riably precede suicide and something
has been found that will prevent that
condition makes suicide likely. AT
the first thought of self destruction
take Electric Bitters. 1t being a great
tonic and nervine will strengthen the
nerves and build up the system. It's
also great Stomae b, Liver and Kid
ney regulator. Only so cents. Salts
faction guaranteed by A. II. Kendel
druggist.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

SENATOR w B ALLISCN'S job In
framing the Iowa platform ought
to commend him as the one man
to draft financial bill that will
please everybody and mean
nothing.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

Mr.. CHARLES A. TowNE, who
lately gave an unappreciative
description of Grover Cleveland's
style Of writing and speaking,
would find great entertainment in
analyzing Mr.. Roosevelt's "parts
of speeeh."
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

LOOKS like Colombia will not
sell and Republican administra-
ton will not buy of Nicaragua,
Has anybody else got a canal
they want to sell?
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

The powers of Europe which
have been remiss insisting on
JUSTICE for the murders of King
Alexander and Queen Draga will
have the remembrance of their
indifference to deal with for a
long time 70 come.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
CURED PARALYSIS.

W. 8. Bailey, P. 0. True, Texas,
writes: "My wife had been suffering
five years with paralysis in her arm,
when | was persuaded to use Ballard s
Snow Liniment, which cured her all
right. I have also used it for old
sores, frost bites, and skin eruptions.
1t does the work" 25 cent, SO cents
and $1.00 bottle at the Oxford
Pharmacy.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

WHATEVER the Democrats of
The United Senate Senate do In
matter of financial legislation, it
would seem most effective for
them to do it unanimously.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
Mrs. Mollie Allen, of South Fork

MIS-. WUIIIt AItH, OF SOuGH FOrK,
KY, says she has prevented attacks
of cholera morbus by taking Cham
berlain's $40 mach and Liver Tablets
when she felt an attack coming on
Such attacks are usually caused by
indigestion and these Tablets are just
what is needed to cleanse the stonach
and ward off the approaching attack.
Attacks of bilious collie may be pre-
vented in the same way. For sale by
r. r. Chiffon & Co.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

AN investigation has develop
ed system of graft in the ad-
ministration of Indian affairs.
And then the Indians cannot get
jobs as cigar store signs, either,
when all their money is stolen.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

WHY condemn the officers of
the Massachusetts, for running
her against the shore? Things
have been pretty duh on the cont
nent of late and maybe they were
merely trying to shake 'em up.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

THE wasting of all that powder
in firing naval salutes in honor OF
the country's hired man will be
sternly rebuked.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

AND yet there are many repu-
table citizens who will be almost
ready to sympathize with the ST.
Louis gentleman who drew his
pistol and made "a trolly car stop
for him,
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
Boy Cured of Collie A fter Physicians
Treatment Had Failed.

My boy when four years o NWas
taken with collie and crampsN his
stomach. / sent for the doctor and
he injected morphine, but the child
kept getting worse. then gave him
half teaspoonful of Chamberlain's
Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy
and in half an hour he was sleeping
and soon recovered.-F. L. WILKINS,
Shell Lake, Wis. Mr.. Wilkins is
book keeser for the Shell Lake Lum
Der Co. For sale by Ii. r. Chiffon &
Co., druggists.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

IT is reported that Andrew
Carnegie thinks of starting a
newspaper In GLASGOW. This is
the first intimation we have had
that Andrew also bankers for
strenuositY.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

THE best way for the scientists
to prove that their cure for lock
Jaw is effective is to try it on
Roosevelt while he is speechless
over David B. Hills new word
"spectacularist. r"
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

IT has come to be a high and
peculiar honor in military and
naval circles to be snubbed by
the ADMINISTRATION. Read the
list-Dewey, Schley and Miles.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

THE Kaw River, in Kansas,
ought to change its name to some
thing more dignified if it intends
to keep on rising into public no.
tice
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

A married man soliloquizes
thus of the gentler sex: ''sThere
is gladness in her gladness when
she's glad, and there is sadness
il her sadness when she's sad !;
but the gladness of her gladness
and the sadness of her sadness
are nothing to her madness when
she's mad. .
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
EVERY American

EVERY American politician
must secretly thank his stars
that he was not born in England
where office holders are expected
20 resign when they are criticised
by the public With such sensi-
ilveness in public opinion it
would BE difficult over here for
The patriots who serve their
country to amass even a moder-
are competence.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

GEN. YoUNG's tenure Of the
office of the commanding general
was so short that it kept him busy
10 get his new uniform on.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

THE Boston boy who just arous
ed himself from az days sleep
at Long Island Branch probably
found that his ticket was to Phila
,delphia
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

A ONE time millionaire has just
died a pauper's death in New
York. Up to date Andy Carnegie
has given away S44 1866, $50.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

When you want q physic that is
mild and gentle, easy to take ann cer-
tain to act. always use Chamberllsin's
Stomach and Liver Tablets. For sale
by R. X. Chiffon & Co.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

ROOSEVELT seems to have boost
ed the Miles boom good deal
more than the 85- mile ride did.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
For Rent.

After Sept 1st., the store house
formerly occupied by S. H. San
ders'. Apply to
Mrs. S. A. MURRAY.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

SINCE It took water Kentucky
has lost all interest in Prof. Bill
Langley's non flying machine.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

In is said that the desertions
from the service at the navy yard
average % a,week. Men rarely
ind reason To desert from SER
vice they like and it might be
worth While for those in power to
investigate the cause of so many
desertions. Perhaps the young
"iackies" are not alone TO blame
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
To Cure a Cold in one. ....y.

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tab
lets. All druggists refund the money
# j. fails to cure. L. w Groves sigma
ture is on each box. 25c.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

THE EAGLE has old newspapers
JoI sale at % cents per hundred
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
The Best prescrintinu for MalnrIa

The Best Prescription for Malaria.
Chills and Fever is a bottle of Grove
Tasteless Chill Tonic. 1t is simply iron
and quine in a tasteless form. No cure
s--no pay. Price 30 cents
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27
T HEY SAY" !"

ssWhat on earth are you doirg
in here, Tommy? asked mother
as she peered into the hen house
from which came series OF.
squaking and tapping Of wings
81 am trying" said Tommy, who
seemed to be doing something
with a knotted rope, s'to fix this
old rooster so his alarm won't go
off in the morning before seven
O'Clock, /"
s'I'm so glad to hear that you
are going to have graveled
Streets" said the old farmer. Il
hope the sight Of them will stir up
onr road overseers to try to i'm
prove country roads, To tell you
the truth, the country roads are
nothing to brag on, winter or
summer, and last winter they got
so bad that-
..Tnat a bird couldn't flay over
the mud holes," said a bystandef
without getting mired up. I've
heard that old joke for 20 years. !"
mistaken sir! Birds might
have had their shadows mired up
right here in Oxford last winter,
but you travel these roads was
alluding to my friend, would be
glad when you got to the end OF
/ them, if they took you to the lake
of birthstone and fire that his
Satanic majesty reserves for his
most faithful SUBJECTS"
81 have just been wondering,
said the woman of sound common
sense, "what men are going to do
when they get one of the presen MT
candidates for governor in the
gubernatorial chair. If half OF
what they say about either is SO,
the ship of state will be in serious
/ danger, no matter which is the
successful man. If women said
such dreadful things about each
other | am sure the reviled one
would be excluded from decent
society, but I'd be willin' to bet, il
| ever did such things,-that the
loudest ones that have howled the
loudest, and talked the ughest.
viii be the very ones that will fee
honored if Gov. - takes
any notice of them. Seems tc
me if those candidates are fit sut
jects for the penitentiary now
getting elected wouldn't trans
form them into respectable citi-
zens. But then they say women
don't understand politics anc
along with Indians and idiots are
not considered competent tc
vote"
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

THURSDAY. AUGUST y, 1898.
Oxford eagle., 1903-08-27

Subscribe for The EAGLE.
The sun., 1903-03-18
MRS. LARNER FREE OF RESTRAINT
Committees Of Her Person and OF Her
Estate Both Discharged.

Supreme Court Justice Gaynor in Brook
lyn yesterday signed an order granting the
absolute release Of Mrs. Alma Louise Larner
from the private SANTA arium Of DIR. William
ID. Granger at Mamaroneck, to which
institution she was committed on May 10.
1900, as habitual drunkard. Mrs. Larner's
first husband was the late Clifford Codding-
ton, a banker. who died. leaving a large
estate. She again married, but her second
husband died. and then she married Albert
4. Larner. Mrs. Larner has an estate
valued at about $4,000.
On June 25. 1907. on writ OF habeas
corpus. she was produced before Justice
Gaynor. and she alleged that she had fully
recovered and was being restrained Of her
liberty. Justice Gaynor discharged her In
the custody Of DR.. Granger on probation
and appointed Henry j.. Goodwin commit
tee Of her person and the Farmers Loan
and Trust Company committee OF her estate.
She was directed to appear before the
court on the second Monday OF last No
vember, which she did.
She now alleges that she has not re-
lapsed into her former condition OF alleged
inebriety, and her counsel moved for her
absolute discharge. The motion was
granted and the committees OF her person
and estate were also discharged. a. Mrs.
Larner, It was found. was perfectly able
TO care for herself and property.