davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
A Composite Game.

This is an impromptu game. that is
to say, it may be played at any time
or anywhere without preparation, and
therefore is just the game for boys
and girls to have ready when called
on for something to amuse company.
Eight players take part In it. They
seat themselves in row or a circle.
and the first player whispers to his
neighbor on the left the article the"
or "a" The second player whispers
to his left-hand neighbor an adjective;
the third a noun in the singular num-
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Rjddies and Thinqs.

Can April March?-No, but June
May.
When is a man thinner than lath!
When he is shaving.
When does n chair dislike your
When 1t cannot bear you.
Why is sheet of stamps like dis
tant relatives Because they are only
slightly connected.
Why is whale like water lily?-
Because 1t always comes to the sur
face to blow.
What is better than presence OF
mind in u railroad accident?-Absencs
OF body.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
His BriQht Thouoht,

They stood in the darkness. hand
in hand, looking out into the night.
Dearest" she said, sadly. what
does II make you think as you look
out into the illimitable space?"
why, you know" said he. smiling
thougEtfully down at her. Il always
think that with so much space there
ought to be room enough for every
bpdy"
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
PjnhoJe Photouraphy,

Photography without a lens would
seem at first glance to be impossible.
1t is SO generally understood that for
good work a good lens is necessary
that 1t is scarcely credible that some
of the finest Photographic work is OBJ
tanned without the use of lens at all.
merely by the aid of minute hole in
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
ESposino a Fraud.

Mrs. Weeks was here during your
absence" said the lunatic asylum at.
tendant.
What did she want?' asked the
superintendent.
She wanted to take her husband
home with her." replied the attendant.
but he refused to go-said he would
rather stay here"
"Huh!" exclaimed the superintend
ent, that fellow isn't crazy
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
His Little Game.

"If | had lot of money" said
Meandering Mike, 81 s'pose I'd play
golf.
Pete.
well. dis games good enough fur
me. De rules is simple. Whenever
gifts handout l wins, an If | gifts bit
by de dog | lose. an it has all de
walkin' an exercise dat | kin take
care of.'-Washington Star.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Why of 1t.

Mrs. Hayrix-It peers tew me ez
heow that cousin ov yourn is livin'
in a heap better style sense she got
divorce.
Mrs. Oatcake-Yes. in course she
do. She's livin' on tn antimony tn
jedge took an lowed her.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Evidently He Did.

Mr.. Mann.-Did you celebrate royal
ly on July Fourth?
Mr.. Cann-I can't tell exactly until
the insurance adjusters finish their
work.-Chelsea Gazette.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
EASILY MADE TOY STEAMBOAT.

represents the boiler. placed on the
two pieces of wire, with the hole to
the rear somewhat above the rear
wall of the boat. To heat the boiler
We use half of an eggshell placed on
a piece of cork underneath the boiler,
with a small piece of cotton in the
ceAter. Pour some alcohol on the cot
ton and set fire to 1t. The water will
begin to boil In a few &inutes and a
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
-Four Oar. to One Hand.

The oar is used for the propulsion of
small boats Is an invention which
dates back many ages. and ever since
its introduction no end OF efforts have
been made to displace the blades by
some equally convenient and economi-
cal design which would do the same
work with no greater expenditure Of
physical labor. These labors have
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
She Certainly Is.

She's the most impossible thing
possible" mused the man who some
times thinks aloud.
who is?" queried the human inter
rogation mark.
THE milkmaid in comic opera"
replied the audible thinker.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Defined.

What is your idea of popular
tune?"
"A popular tune" said the man who
takes music seriously, ''is one that
gets to be universally disliked."
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Willina to Come Back.

Mrs. Hauskeep-Suppose I should
give you a nice dinner to-day, what
return would you make?
Hungry Higgins-Well. ma am, II
liked yer cookin' I'd return jist as
often as could. ma'am.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
EaxiIY Pleased.

Young Munney-Sa. pa. l wish you'd
buy me an automobile.
Old Munney-See here. It's time
you stopped asking me to get you
things Why don't you paddle your
own canoe?
Young Munney-All right. pa: never
mind the auto. Get me a canoe.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Dancer Of PLAYING with Pistols.

At Wirona. near Meredith. N. H..
last week, a wandering boy named
Goodwin tossed pistol to a lad with
whom he was in conversation. 1t went
OF and the ball lodged in Goodwiu's
heart, killing him instantly.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
VIII Gan Prisoners.

An Atlanta judge has ordered the
police to provide themselves with gags
with which to stop the mouths OF pro.
fame and noisy prisoners.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
A Streak Of Luck.

Paddock went over to the races
to-day and didn't have anything but
good luck.
eh?
Paddock-No: but when 1 reached
the track l discovered that | had left
all my money at home in my other
trousers, so l didn't lose a cent.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
A Matter Of Doubt.

81 suppose. my boy" said the
stranger in town, Il can jump on any
these cars and go 70 the park"
81 dunno" replied the newsboy.
"Anuder guy dat looked as clumsy
as you tried to jump on one de udder
day an he went ter de morgue.'
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Just About That Kind.

Daughter-But, father, l am posi-
tive that it Is not my money he Is
after He says he would marry me
II were ever SO poor.
Stern and prosaic father-Yes. he
looks as if he had no better sense.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Next Best.

81 suppose" said the city girl. that
you have no acolytes in your church"
No. we haven't admitted the vii
lage cousin, but we are going to put
in electric lights next fall"
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Wanted Another,

Manager-"Yes. I found it paid to
give McHamm a tankard of real liquor
in the tavern scene"
Assistant-"Why so?"
Manageable played better He
was always striving for an encore"
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Conscientious.

Stykler-Is he thoroughly conscien-
tious with regard to harmony of de-
tail?
Patron-I should say SO. Why. even
his Puppies at Play" Is painted in
distemper.-Philadel Ledger.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Safe From Brain Fever.

The Doctor-You would have an at.
tack Of brain fever but for one thing.
Impatient Patient-And what's that?
The Doctor-The fact that nature
made you an immune from that par.
ticular variety of fever.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
II Pays.

Some people," said the Rev. Mr..
Goodman, can never appreciate the
value of religion"
That's right" replied Pecksniff,
the merchant; they don't know how
to catch the church trade at ALL
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Those Inconvenient Questions.

Mrs Meeker (sternly)-Henry,
what is a poker chip?
Meeker-My dear, I'm not much
Don conundrums. but l imagine it's
chip off poker. Did l guess it?
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Saving AlimonY.

Lawyer-You can't get divorce on
such evidence as that.
Client-Then how am to get rid
of her?
Iawyer-Well. some automobiles
are said to be dangerous.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Goino Down the Chute.

st. Peter-What did you do on
earth?
Gambler-Well, er-kept Q dive,
but
st. Peter-Take one now.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Just Wait.

Barnes-It says here that Mars has
a day forty-one minutes longer than
our own.
Howes-Well / suppose that's be-
cause the labor unions haven't got
fully established on that planet.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
sigAs Of Popularity.

Il see there is strong prospect of
Shakespeare revival"
Yes, l noticed there are three
brands of whisky named after him,
and four kinds of cheap cigars"
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
The Pictorial Letter.

Following is letter which a gen.
tleman sent to his clever nephew.
Knowing that his young relative was
clever at solving picture puzzles. the
uncle. instead OF writing his message
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Extraordinary.

Extraordinary.
Woman" roared Bender at break
fast. what right have you to insin-
uate l came home intoxicated last
night" ....-.
''Y.you tried to light your cigar
coming up the lawn" sobbed Mrs.
Bender.
"Well. madam. is there anything
extraordinary in a gentleman light
ing his cigar on the lawn?"
"Y-you tried to light it with light
ming bug"
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
career.. untimeIx End.

waggsby-Yes. Slimkun had a
great criminal career until his own
carelessness brought 1t to an untimely
end.
Naggsby--How was that?
Waggsby-A1l went well with him
until he attempted to take the gold
filling from the teeth Of one OF his
hold-up victims. That was when he
struck a snag.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26

the feathers are blueygreen. Fig. 2
shows the racket shaped ends which
the bird makes by Eluckingl out the
pieces OF feather above. leaving
space. This is like man shaving his
chin, leaving his muGtache to grow.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Needlea Al Smear.

Take darning needle OF medium
size and stand three yards away from
door. holding the needle between
the thumb and index finger. Throw
the needle like a spear and try to
fasten 1t onto the door. You Will
never succeed, no matter how hard
you try.
But by putting a piece of thread
through the eye OF the needle you
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
An Object Lesson.

Wife-George. that cigar certainly
is dreadful! Do let me save money
and buy your cigars. as Mrs. Binks
does for her husband.
George-This is cigar that Binks
gave me.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Mot-Mot's Tail.

There is South American bird
called the mot-mot. who Is not salts.
fed with the shape of his tail. Fig. l
shows the tail as 1t grows naturally;
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Clock Puxxie.

There is represented on this clock
face twelve household articles. When
the names OF the articles are written
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Could Not Stand Il

Oficer-"You were trying to steal
this dummy"
Boston Youth-"Oh. no. sir!'
Officer-"But you were putting your
hands on it."
Boston Youth-"Yes. | was trying to
change the word pants to trousers
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
SAID in tha Ocean.

The salt in the ocean Is sufiicient
to cover 100000 square miles of lani
a mile deep.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26

Not = Gift.
"She has the fatal gift of beauty"
"Oh, it's not a gift"
"No?"
mot in her case. It's purchase"
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Not Afraid.

Not Afraid.
aren't you afraid of the trusts?"
asked the public-stirited man.
Il used to be-" answered Senator
Sorghum. "butI have found that II q
man is polite and Industrious a trust
is right good employer"
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26
Yes. the Cook Left.

Yes, the Cook Left.
Cobbs-Our cook left very suddenly
this morning.
Hobbs-What was the trouble?
Cobbs-Gasoline.
The Lamar register., 1903-08-26

will always succeed in sticking 1t in
the wood.
Another spear can be made OF
writing pen and four paper wings. as
shown in the figure.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1903-05-16
A WIDESPREAD MALADY.
By Magdalen Rock.

There's a certain disease, and the
king on his throne
And the beggar in rags are alike to it
prone;
Disciples of Galen in all lands agree
That their nostrums are useless in
this malady.
And no college of surgeons, though
great be their fame,
Success for a method of treating it
claim;
1t wrought ruin and woe when this old
world was young,
And it's still seen all nations and PEG.
pie among.
And all those who suffer from this
dread disease,
In their lives and their callings find
little to please;
Their visions distorted, their mind
ne'er at rest,
And with dark thoughts and gloomy
their souls are oppressed.
Oh, many an evil it brings in its
train!
1t hardens the heart and it weakens
the brain.
The name of this malady's right meath
each eye,
IT'S spelt by four letters: ENVY
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1903-05-16

come an assistant of whom any doctor
would be glad"
I'll do it; begin at once" said
Danny, his eyes sparkling.
"Hurrah! Pm" said John, rush
ing into the house like small tor
nado
Ssh" said Danny, clapping his hand
over his brothers mouth; don't you
know mother is sick?"
"Oh, sure enough; I forgot about
mother" and John retreated toward
the door.
well, you don't want to forget re-
piled Danny I'm Dr. Burbank's as
sistant, and"
DIR. Burbanks what?" interrupted
John, pausing on the threshold.
DIR. Burbank's assistant" said
Danny, flushing; and you must obey
orders-no shouting or quarreling
within a hundred feet of this house.
That night the children were impa-
tient and cross, and Danny found his
services as the doctors assistant again
required.
BE as quiet as mice, and I'll show
you something new" said Danny, TAX
ing an apple from the pantry and
hanging it by string from the top
casing Of the door, 1.-The first one
that bites piece out has the whole
apple" Thus for an hour Danny man.
aged to keep the youngsters out OF
mischief
How has my assistant been getting
along?" said DR.. Burbank, when he
came the next morning.
My wife has had the best nights
rest she has known for fortnight,
replied Mr.. Small, his eyes glistening
Danny has been an angel 1 an
obliged to be away at the Office most
of the day, and the nurse finds it i'm
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1903-05-16
DR.. Burbank's Assistant.

DR.. Burbank stood in the front hall
drawing on his gloves, preparatory to
going out into the storm. His face
was very grave, and as he patted
Danny Small's brown head he said:
I'VE can't be too careful, Mr.. Small;
do what we will, it means a hard pull
for this lads mother. She needs abso-
lutte quiet and a mind free from worry.
The children must be so many mice;
and Danny, here, is going to do his
part-be my assistant"
Two minutes later the doctor was
driving away, and Danny Small and
his feather were seated in the library,
talking over the doctors last words.
"He means just this, my boy" said
Mr.. Small holding Danny's hands in
his own; you must do your part to
keen your brothers and sisters quiet
and happy while your mother is sick;
and that will do as much to help as
his medicine. In that way you will be,
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1903-05-16

possible to keep the little ones all
quiet, but Danny Danny has
managed it somehow, and wife says
that she has not heard a sound from
the children since you were here yes
terday."
Capital. capital" said the physi-
clan; between us we shall have Mrs.
Small on her feet again SOON"
The following day when Danny re-
turned from school, a great coal wag
on backed up before the house on the
opposite side of the street, and the
teamster was arranging the iron chute,
intending to shoot the entire load into
the cellar.
See here, mister" said Danny,
looking up in the begrimed face of
the teamster, my mother is awful sick
over there in that house, and would
you mind dumping that coal in with
your basket? Maybe you've got sick
mother. or had one once"
For an instant the man stood looking
at Danny in amazement To grant
the request meant much extra work
and at first he was inclined to be
surly. Then he scratched his heal
and reached for his basket, muttering
something about having a sick boy al
home
DR.. Burbank was coming up the
, street, and he took it all in-not the
coal, but the situation-and as he
mounted the steps at Mr.. Small's home
he said: God bless the boy!"
So the weeks passed, each hour and
each day finding something for Danny
to do as DR.. Burbanks assistant, and
they were not irksome hours, either;
on the contrary, they were among
the happiest of Danny's life. Gradu-
ally health returned to Mrs. Small,
and one morning early in the spring
she came down to dinner for the first
time in two months. DR.. Burbank
came in while they were yet seated at
the table.
Il am down once more, thanks to
you Dr. Burbank said Mrs. Small.
Thanks to my assistant, Master
Danny" corrected the physician; The
has done more than l.
That was the proudest minute in
Danny's life-the proudest of DR.. Dan
iel Small's life, for years passed and
Danny became physician himself
and very successful one.-FredericB
E. Burnham in the Morning Star.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1903-05-16
AUNT BUSY HAS HER SAY.

Near Nieces and Nephews: Aunt
~ has discovered a number of
-;o ag, in Leadville, or they have dis
noynrad Aunt Busy. This week all
w. W. letters are from the beautiful
Tot. 10 of Colorado, and Aunt Busy is
S1 that the dear little writers are
on that is good and lovely. Aunt
prsv homes to hear from the new
-; ,.. very often. Their names are
katherine Powers. Mary Anne Pow
orc Nellie May Craddock and The
rosa NcGillicuddy. What is the mat
~ tor with the Colorado nephews? Aunt
pnev would like to hear from them.
Now about Aunt Busy's dear little
acIam-diggers." She does hope they
will not forget all about her. Aunt
pnsv has received some very inter
osting letters from the dear young
neople in Ogden. She expects to pub
fish the letters next week.
NV, But the little "clam-diggers"
have raised a sensation in the Ogden
ranks
But the sensation" is an agreeable
ona Aunt Busy thinks the Ogden
children have only love and kindly
greeting in their haerts for every one
in the world. The Ogden lads and
1assies are all excitement over the
Mission that will be given this month
in Ogden.
Aunt Busy hopes OF hear regularly
about the mission from the nieces
and nephews.
Aunt Busy is sure that all her dear
nieces and nephews unite with her
in extending best wishes for all sue
cess to attend the good work.
A "bushel basket" of love to all.
AUNT BUSY.
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1903-05-16


ties of courts and judges is the contin-
uatiOn this week.
The court" replied O'Flanagan,
does not make, and has no power TO
make the constitution; it only de-
clares what it is, according to the true
intent and meaning of the sovereign
will that oTdains it. 1t has nothing
to do with speculations on the unity
or diversity of the race, with the alb
stract law of nature, or the abstruse
and subtitle distinctions of scholastic
theology. 1t looks solely to the intent
and meaning of the sovereign people
in forming the constitution. The legal
method of ascertaining this meaning
is to consult what was the sentiment
of the civilized world at the time
when the constitution was made, of
the convention that drew it up, and of
the people who ratified it. This SEN
timent touching the negro race at the
time did not treat negroes as the
equals of the whites; it branded them
as an inferior race, and regarded them
not as men, but as merchandise that
might be bought and sold in the mar
ket as any other species of merchan-
disc. 1t is preposterous to suppose
that the white race entertaining this
sentiment could for a moment think
of placing persons of the negro race
on a footing of equality with them
selves, or of comforting on them the
rights of citizens under the new gov
eminent they we're forming. The pre-
sumption then is against negro citi-
zenship, and the rule is to interpret
the constitution against it as far as it
can be without violence TO Jne texI.
So at least reasons the chief justice,
and what lawyer will say that his rea-
soning is not true legal reasoning?"
THE facts" said Winslow, ARE not
precisely as the court assumes. The
sounder sentiment of the civilized
world at the time did not deny, and
in fact it had never denied, negroes to
be men, sprung alike with the white
race from Adam and Eve. With a
Catholic judge the sentiment of the
Catholic church must count for some
thing in determining the sentiment OF
the civilized world, and that sentiment
had always treated negroes as men,
having under the law Of nature and
the law of grace equal rights. The
popes as early as 1882 had positively
forbidden, under the pain of excom.
munication, the reduction of negroes
born free to slavery, and also the pur
chasing of those who were thus re
duced. Practically negro slaves were
bought and sold in the market, but
public opinion, if it tolerated, never
sanctioned it, and certainly never al
lowed free negroes to be so bought
and sold. 1t condemned, in this coun
try, as early as 1887, and in fact as
early as 1776, the African slave trade
though that trade still continues, fol
there are always found in every age
and in every country individuals who
will brave public opinion and even re
ligion itself in pursuit of gain. The
colonies themselves, as is well known
had at an early day protested agains
the introduction of negro slaves, AMI
the constitution bears on its face am
pie evidence that public opinion con
demned both the slave trade and ne
gro slavery, and that the convention
The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1903-05-16

that drew it up would have abolished
both, if they could have done so with
out defeating the union of the several
states under single government,
which was the principal end they had
in view. The constitution studiously
avoids all recognition of slavery in
terms, and nowhere marks the slight
est distinction between free negroes
and free white men. If it refers to
negro slaves at all, it refers to them
as persons held to SERVICE or as 9th
ers persons or simply persons i'm
ported never as negroes, and in de-
nominating them persons, it declares
them to be human beings, men, ana
therefore that, under the law of ma
ture, they stand on a footing of per-
feet equality with men of the white
race"
THE court" added Dienfenbach,
was out in it's law as we'll as in it's
facts. 1t assumes that in order to de-
termine the true intent and meaning
of the constitution, it suffices to ascer-
tain the true intent and meaning of
the people in ordaining it. But the
constitution is not all conventional
! and only part, and that the least es-
sential part, originates in the will of
the people. The state, civil govern
ment, is instituted and exists for the
purpose of maintaining justice, and re-
pressing or redressing injustice; for,
Cousin, the eminent French phi1oso-
pher, we'll asserts the state is founded
on the idea of the just, and has for it's
mission the realization of justice in
society. All acts against justice are
acts against the very purpose and end
of the state and therefore unconstitu-
tional, and null and void from the be-
authorities, ancient or modern, main
tain that laws against natural JUS
tice, are volcanoes rather than laws,
and without force; and even Black
stone comedies that acts contrary to
the law of nature are null ana void.
The law of nature, natural justice, is
anterior to the convention, anterior to
civil society, and is the fundamental
law of the civil constitution, against
which the convention or the political
power has no right, no authority. 1t is
integral in the constitution of the
state, always presupposed, and is what
may properly be called the non-con.
ventional part of the constitution. The
prince, that is, in a popular state, the
convention, is restricted in his pow
ers by it, and whatever he attempts
against it is unconstitutional and void
without the slightest legal force, since
it is against the fundamental and in
violable law of the state, which binds
alike the sovereign and the subject. Ii
determining the law, in deciding the
question of it's constitutionality, the
Supreme Court must consult this non
conventional part of the constitution
even more than the conventional part
The law of nature limits the power
of the sovereign. Neither the legis
lature nor the convention can perform
any valid act against natural justice
and therefore the court which has cog
nizance of constitutional questions
will and must treat not only ever!
: legislative enactment, but every pro
: vision, article, or clause of the con
: ventional constitution itself, that con
tradicts that justice, as non ayenu.'