Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1903-11-03
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She neutrality-suspicious. we were
married you used to say you couldn't
live without me. He-A man never
knows what he can do till he tries
Life.
Ca1er-Your sister Is long time
making her appearance, Johnny.
Johnny-Yes; she's got to make II, OF
course, fore she comes down.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
His failure: do you know anything
about firting?" NO" he replied.
sadly; Il thought l did, but when l
tried it, hanged if the girl didn't
marry me."-Chicago Post.
Doctor-Ah! out for CONSTITUTIONAL
She-Yes; l walk two miles before
breakfast every morning for my COM
plexion, Doctor-Is the drug store 80
far at that-London Taller.
Friend-Edith married for money
didn't she? Clara-No indeedl He is
rich, but she is dreadfully in love with
him! Why when he comes in late,
she just sits and scolds him by the
hour.
Fond Mother (who is sure the Wis
itor would like to hear her infant
prodigy on the violin)-Johnny Is so
far advanced that now we can almost
tell whether he is tuning or playing
Punch.
Bis guess: well, think 1 made
an impression on her anyway" said
the automobile enthusiast, as he
glanced back at the fair young woman
lying in the road.-Chieago Record
Herald
One Thing Left-'There doesn't seem
to be anything that he can do" "Oh,
l don't know. He's failed at every
thing else, but he might run the adj
vice column In family magazine"
Chicago Post.
And it swallowed the hook: $50 you
caught a catfish that weighed 3S
pounds?" Hook and all, that wuz
its weight" Hook and all?" Yep;
the hook was using weighed 81
pounds. indianapolis Sun.
Visitor-You are the editor? Well,
l want to speak TO you about my
daughter. She writes poetry, sir; and
she's only IA years old Editor-Oh,
we'll wouldn't worry. She'll outgrow
it, perhaps.-Boston Transcript.
The visitor-Why are you here. my
misguided friend? The prlsoner-I'm
the victim Of the unlucky number,
thirteen. The visitor-Indeed; how's
that2 The prisoner-Twelve Jurors
and one judge. Sporting Times
Medium (at splritualistic seance)-
Is Mr.. Keezicks present? His deceas-
ed wife wishes to communicate with
him. Mr.. Keezicks On an agitated
voice)-Tell her I'd rather not I'm
married again.-Chicaso Tribune.
81 am afraid" said the very wealthy
young woman to the titled wooer.
"that our ideals differ" "In what
wayT II should like to be loved for
my own sake, while you expect to be
loved for the sake Of your family
Washington Star
A useful attache: "Why should l
give this man positionT' said the Sui
tan of Turkey. Because he may be
very useful in an emergency" answer
ed the grand vizier; che knows how
to say we apologize in every modern
languag &c. "-Washington Star.
Visitor--You haven't got half as nice
a cemetery here as we have In ELM
vile. Prominent citizen (of Howville)
No, I've always heard that the GEN.
etery is the only part Of our town that
holds out any inducements for per
mnnent Chicago Tribune.
"Fine, wasn't it?" exclaimed Cit
man, after the trombone soloist had
finished his star performance; that
was clever, ehT' "Oh, shucks' re-
piled the Mllpitas country cousin; The
didn't fool me little bit That's one
O. them trick horns. He didn't really
swaller TEX.
Promoters of courage: Spartacus--
Women are great incentive to manly
courage. Smar1cus 49, That's right
Since I've been married and had a few
tits with my wife. the prospect OF
scrap with the meanest man Oh earth
seems like mere child's play to me.
Baltimore American.
Lady (who was on visit to her ma
tire town)-How is Mrs. Gabb;
haven't seen her In a long timer Hos
tess-She is having her usual ups and
down. Lady visitor-And what may
that be, l pray7 Hostess-oh, rum
ming up bills and running down her
neighbors- Brooklyn Life.
Class amusements: Don't you think
the amusements Of many society peo-
ple are very nonsensical?" Some
times" answered Miss Cayenne, but
not as nonsensical as the amusements
of those people who amuse themselves
by imagining how society people
amuse themselves Washington Star.
Miss FERTILE met you at the beach
this summer. Miss Ann Teek-Yes.
Just heard him telling you about It
Didn't hear him say also that was
not frivolous like the other girls he
met here? Miss Pert-Not exactly.
He said you were mot frivolous Ike
the girls he met there. "-Philadelphia
Press.
One Of the detectives came hurry
ing. Chief" he said. 1--WE are on the
wrong scent The man we supposed
was murdered has turned up alive"
'Tt can't be possible" sternly answer
ed the chief; "the fellow we've had In
the sweatbox for the last two or three
days has Just confessed that he muir
dered him"
Medical Students Galore.