The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1903-11-23
"some Hotels / Have Stopped At"

"Some Hotels ! Have Stopped At"
The above toast was responded to
at the T. P. A. banquet, Iowa divi-
sion convention at Waterloo, by F.
J. Sessions, Is follows:
Mr.. POSTMASTER and other gentle
tlemen of the Truth Preservative
Association:
| was mighty glad to be asked to
speak to you upon this subject,
Some Hotels l have Stopped At"
Not because of the opportunity to
speak, especially, but because 1t
gives me a chance to rub longs1de OF
a lot OF good fellows who make the
wheels go round. | am glad to pc
here not to be heard, but being heard
am here. l trust this is perfectly
clear to all who hear. 1t is my de-
| sire to hands o my hotel exper-
fences hot from the ginger jar. 1t
is less through which ONE the foul
| air OF the office, and the fouler talk
of the office riff raft; where the only
cool room in summer is on the south
side. overlooking the back yard and
stables, the view of which and Zepn-
yrs from which so fill n with gorge
hat one does not need to eat for
three days; where the doughnuts
are as tough and hard as inks from
the chain of ruinous circumstances;
where the cakes are as sour, flat
and unapproachable as an old maid:
where the bread is as stale as ths
Republican tariff position; where the
Dies are as mixed in their compo-
nent parts as the Democratic party;
where the buildings are as full OF
mysteries and strange combinations
as a Conan Doyle detective story;
where the cakes are made with SUI
gar on a rising market; wher the
fresh fruit is as full of promise and
disappointment as a eaum OIL
investment; where the vegetables
are as dry and ~juiceless as the con-
g~ressional record when Senator Till
man and Representative Wheeler
take a day off; where that compen-
dunn of misinformation, a railway
guide several months short OF up to
date is chained to the desk; where
the mirror makes you look as vic
ious and ugly as you feel; wher the
menu cards are from a jobiot order
ed when the hotel was new and from
l which the real bill of fare is as much
a misft as a winter hat at an Easter
> service: where the mattress is OF
: the camel variety, mostly humps;
where the bed comfortables are OF
: cheap print and refuse cotton con
: struction and weigh per square foot
as much as a nightmare; where the
, landlord is three of the ~tifty-seven
: varieties; where the landlady is Of
u the Lydia E. Pinkham visage kind
. where the parlor is a Of
= horrors for the hanging of pictures
. of the notwithstanding dead ances
4 tors of the landlord; where h eggs
are from an Ancient lay where
u the fish convinces one of the trutf
/ of the old saw, better fish in the
" sea than ever were caught; Wher'
the oranges are as thick skinned a:
u tha president of a gas and electric
i light company, and as seedy as {
9 country parson; where in the writ
u ing room the nix is as heavy as the
! sleep of a man occupying two seat
a when the car begins to fill up; wher'
u the pens are scratchier than a mug
u Wump on election day; where tn
Il hotel paper is headed with the mot
: to, anything too good Tor on
y guests" where the call bells are a
l. much out of order as would be
= prayer at a ward caucus; where tn
s norter while he shines the other fel
! lows shoes makes o red-heade'
waiting for your baggage.
10 Yes. all these things o ave eX
L perienced. These are not $1.OO
Il day romances, but $500 a day real
II enoughs.' But there are hotels an
J hotels, landlords and landlords. Ora
dually the conditions in country nc
tells are improving, and we hav'
many real Christian gentlemen an
women to feed us and make US CON
Portable on our unceasing round
% Let us be thankful to the hotel mel
and women who do make the efor
- to keep their houses neat. clean an
Z comfortable. Let us always be read
&c to show our appreciation OF these
. in no other way than by a kind wore
IS a gracious smile, and a frequent re
H. turn.-The Business Magazine.
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