Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1903-10-17

knows what he can do till he tries~-S
Life.
Caller-Your sister is long time
making her appearance, Johnny.
she's got to make 1t, OF
course, fore she comes down.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
His failure: do you know anything
about firting?" No" he replied.
sadly; Il thought l did, but when |
tried ii, hanged IL the girl didn't
marry me. "-Chicago Post.
I>octor-Ah! out for CONSTITUTIONAL
She-Yes; walk two miles before
breakfast every morning for my COM
pleXlon. Doctor-Is the drug store so
far at that.-London Tatler.
Friend Edith married for money
didn't she? Clara-No indeedl He IN
rich. but she is dreadfully in hove with
him. Why when he comes in late.
she just sits and scolds him by the
hour.
Fond Mother (who is sure the Wis
itor would like to hear her infant
prodigy on the VIOLIN Johnny Is so
far advanced that now we can almost
tell whether he is tuning or playing
Punch.
His guess. We'll, think l made
an impression on her anyway" said
the automobile enthusiast. as no
glanced back at the fair young woman
living in the road.-Chicago Record
Herald
One Thing Left-"There doesn't seem
to be anything that he can do" 'Oh.
II don't know He's failed at every
thing else, but he might run the adj
vice column in family magazine"
'-Chisago Post
And 1t swallowed the hook: 80 you
caught catfish that weighed 80
poundsY Hook and all, that wuz
Its weight" Hook and all2" Yep;
the hook l was using weighed 81
pounds. indianapolis Sun.
Visitor~You are the editor2 Wen,
/ want to speak TO you about my
daughter. She writes poetry, sir. and
she's only ii years old! Editor-Oh.
we'll wouldn't worry She'll outgrow
1t. perhaps Boston Transcript
The visitor Why are you here. my
misguided friend? The prisoner I'm
the victim of the unluclty number
thirteen. The yisltor-Indeed; how's
that? The prisoner Twelve jurors
and one Judge. Sporting Times
Medium lat sprltuallstic seance)--
Is Mr.. Keezicks PRESENT. His deceas-
ed wife wishes to communicate with
him. Mr. keezicks lin an agitated
volce)-Tell her I'll rather not. I'm
married again. Chicago Tribune.
81 am afraid" said the very wealthy
young woman to the titled woocr,
that our ideals differ" I'm what
wayY' Il should like TO be loved for
my own sake while you expect to be
lived for the sake OF your family -
Washington Star
A useful attache; why should
give this man position?" said The Sui
tan Of Turkey. Because he may be
very useful In an emergency" answer
ed the grand vizier; 'he knows how
to say We apologize in every modern
langua e" Washington Star.
Visitor You haven't got half as nice
n cemetery here as we have In Elm
VILE Prominent citizen tof Howyille)
No, I've always heard that the Gem
etery Is the only part of our town that
holds out any inducements for per-
mancnt residents. Chicago Tribune.
Zine, wasn't ity" exclaimed Clti-
man, after the trombone sololst had
finished his star performance; that
was clever, eh?' "Oh, shucks," re-
piled the Milpitas country cousin; "he
didn't fool me a little bit That's one
o them trick horns. He didn't really
swaller Tx.
Promoters Of courage Spartacus--
Women are a great incentive to manly
courage Smarticus That's right
Since I've been married and had few
Ills with my wife, the prospect OF
scrip with the mcanest man on earth
seems like mere child's play to me.
Baltimore American.
Lady (who was on vislt TO her ma
tive town How Is Mrs. Gabb; 1
haven't seen her In long timer iios-
toss She IS having her usual ups and
down. Lady Visitor And what may
that be, / pray? Hostess~Oh run
ming up bills and running down her
nelghbors Brooklyn Life.
Glass amusements: Don't you think
the amusemcnts Of many society PEG.
pie are very nonscnsicalW Some.
tines" answered Miss Cayenne, but
not rs nomsensical as the amusements
of those people who amuse themselves
by imagining how society people
amuse themselves" Washington Star.
Miss Pert He met you az the beach
this summer. Miss Ann Teek-Yes
just heard him telling you about It,
Didn't hear him say also that | was
not frivolous like the other girls no
met here? Miss Pert Not exactly
lie said you were mot frivolous like