Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1903-10-02

The doctors have ordered quietude
for Boss Hanna. Ohio politics is just
now too strenuous for his stomach.
France is to have a nickel, but will
pronounce it neekelle." However,
the pronunciation will make no diff
ference as long as it will pay for q
biere."
Our new possessions are officially re-
ferred to as our non.contiguous ter
ritory." Before long we may speak OF
Yankees, Southerners, Westerners and
Noncontigs.
Nobody envies Senator Alice his
reputation for assailing woman, al
though it may be national. 1t is barely
possible that that Todd will be too
much for him.
Statisticians are puzzled over the
fact that the reported losses of life by
war in Macedonia have already far ex.
cecded the total population accredited
to that country.
When General Grant calls the aho.
lition of the canteen "vital error"
he errs. 1t is an error not so vital that
it can be easily remedied if Congress
has the courage OF its conviction.
According to carefully prepared sta
tistics, Uncle Sans income for single
day averages $2,OSO,s36. His expen-
ditures now average $l,630,0OO per
day. The old gentleman is laying by
something.
When Senator Alice expressed dis.
like for Postmaster Todd she was re-
moved. When the people OF Indianola
expressed a dislike for the negro post.
master the postof1ice was abolished.
That's partisanship.
1t is the oath OF allegiance to the
government, and not the labor union,
as some OF the Catholic Bishops seem
to think, that has been prescribed for
the workmen in the government print
shop ct Washington. The oath is to
put them on an equality with the SAL
aried list and bid defiance to labor
rulings.
DR.. Louis Haupt is authority for the
statement that there is baby born in
New York city every fifteen minutes.
And it is stated in an Eastern paper
that the record of the whole country
gives one birth every five minutes.
What microbe was twisting Teddy's
brain when he bemoaned the existence
of race suicide?
1.-THE men whom we most delight
to honor in all the land are those who
in the iron years from 81 to IS bore
on their shoulders the burden OF saw
ing the Union."-President Roosevelt
at Syracuse on Labor Day. After say.
ing which, the President proceeds to
promote General Leonard Wood over
the heads of 464 Civil war veterans.
Time was when the unearthing of a
public fraud brought CONSERVATION to
the party under which it was perpe.
trated, but now it seems to be taken
- a matter of course. The late frauds
on the Indians are regarded by Secre-
tary Hitchcock just as these wards OF
the government have always regarded
theft, to be blamed for being caught
rather than for committing the crime.
Effort has SO far been directed towards
finding out who is responsible for dis.
covery and exposure OF the frauds.
Newport society's new fad is said to
be the negro. but it cannot surely be
attributed to the ignorance of the
English countess, who, when she met
an American Colonel, said: "You
Americans. differ 90 much in appear.
ance. I had to dinner the other day
one of your countrymen whose com.
plexion was black and his hair 90 very
curly, and he talked with such q pc.
culiar accent and called me Missile ="
"A mayer, by thunder" CALCULATED the
Colonel, as he beat hasty retreat.
1t is said that out of 1000 cargoes
Of European food products shipped to
this country and examined by the De-
partmont Of Agriculture, no single in
stance OF adulteration has been discov-
cred, and this is claimed as . result OF
pure.fo0d laws of the last Congress.
The fact is that very few imported Ar
ticles have ever shown fraud, either in
weight or quality. It is Yankee in.
genuity that developes the walnut.
bark nutmegs and Eastwood hams, and
it is the thrifty rancher who has cut
down the length OF his butter-mould.
II is the rich contractor who seeks by
| adulterants, shoddy material or EN-.
balming" processes, to increase his
profits. That 10 one sin we cannot
successfully shove off upon our neigh
bors.
It seems that adulation of Capt
Richard P. Hobson for sinking the
Merrimac at Santiago, has fairly turned
his head. That is the only achieve
ment that has distinguished him from
several million other American citi.
zens, and it appears that it might have
been better for his fame had he obeyed
the spirit of the injunction See Rome
and de-" Failing to secure q steady
salary on the retired list, he now wants
to run for Congress in an Alabama
district, where he has been lecturing
and has had that bump of self-esteem