Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1903-02-07
ANECDOTES FROM ANYWHERE.

ANECDOTES FROM ANYWHERE.
A member of congress tells an anus
ing story OF Secretary Wilson illustra-
tive of the II Huences of bureau CHIEFS.
The member recently asked Mr.. Will
sons opinion of a bill before congress-.
II know nothing about it," said the
secretary. II do not concern myself
with legislation before congress. IL 1t
is passed and the president sends 1t to
me to execute, that will be time enough
for me to form an opinion. 1 know
nothing about it; nothing at ALL" and
the secretar. y pack in his hair re-
garding the preventative with half
closed eyes. tilen sat upright and open
ing his eyes wide, looked at him over
bis glasses with an expression which
clearly said: Now, what have you to
say?"
II am sorry,' said the member. Il
was hoping to get some light from you.
In fact l have just been reading a long
communication ~favoring the bill, which
j am inclined to oppose. 1t says so ana
so,"-the secretary looked bored-"and.
Mr.. Secretary, it was written over your
signature"
Jasper" said the secretary, appeal
ing to his son, did / ever write such a
letter."
mo, father" was the reply. but Pro-
lessor - wrote II and you signed
It," and right there Mr.. Wilson pro-
duced the best box Of Connecticut
grown, Sumatra wrapped cigars in his
cabinet.
THE funniest experience lat l have
ever >ad in all my years of practice at
the ban occurred during a murder trial."
said one lawyer to a lot of fellow-prac-
titioners who had assembled in his Of
flee. IAN Irishman was to be tried for
murder, and from what / had learned
about the case I felt that my client
would be convicted, If not for first de-
gree murder, then surely for second de-
gree murder l vas so uneasy about
the matter that / went to an Irish
friend of mine and deliberately planned
to prevent conviction In either degree.
This friend of mine was a jurymar, n
his chances of getting on the jury in
the murder case were very good, so l
| urged him to stick until the last for a
verdict of manslaughter. He said he
would, and / knew hat he would keep
his promise.
The panel was exhausted, and my
friend Pat was one of the twelve men in
whose hands rested the fate of my
client. / was positive that he would not
hang. The trial was ar interesting one,
and the jury retired after listening to
the judges charge. Seven hours passed
-
before they returned.
The poll Of the jury showed that
the prisoner was guilty of manslaughter
and after the jurymen were discharged
1 walked up to Pat and said:
Pat, you saved the day. 1t was a
great piece of work for GU. How did
you manage to bring the other eleven to
your way of ~thinging""
"'Oh, / had the diviIs own time Of
dom It. This is on the quiet. When
we first began to ballot. eleven of thin
fellows was for acquittal, but 1 stuck to
my job until l brought them around to
manslaughter.'"
The brilliant Miss Ellen Thorneycroft
Fowler tells an amusing anecdote of her
experience at q dinner party with q
man who woul not listen. This man
took her in to dinner, but otherwise
paid little attention to her. She tried
to make conversation and spoke of
things military, apropos of the recent
African war. Suddenly he turned to
her and said:
rs your husband a soldier. by
CHANGER"
She answered: mo, I'm not mar
RED"
The entree had barely departed into
the realms of the unknown when, with
an ingratiating smile, the conversation
having now merged into the range of
things political, he said:
Il uppos your husband is a poll
t~ician?"
NO" she repeated somewhat louder,
1--WE no husband. I'm not married"
Toward the end of the dinner there
occurred that momentary pause when
a hostess is engaged in collecting the
eyes of her guests. He took advantage
Of It. With a glow of interest he
turned. Does your husband happen to
le here t%onight?"
1t was too much for Miss Fowler. The
signal of departure was given. She
rose.
81 really don't know" she said. He
l.may Ha. One can never tell what may
come of these little parties!"
:
A certain old clergyman in a neigh
boring town, did not exactly suit his
congregation, so at last he applied for
and received an appointment as chap
lain to a large penitentiary. He
preached his farewell sermon, not a
word of which any one could object to
excepting the singularly inappropriate
text, which gave great offense. 1t was:
Il go to prepare a place for you, sc
tina where l am we may be also"