davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
he got angry at frst he has chserfuIiy

he got angry at nrst he has cheeFful1y
accepted the name now.
"Our bookkeeper Is always putting
in his oar when 1t is not at all neces-
sary, and / think now he will be
known until the end Of time as Gen.
eral Butts A friend of mine who Is
always called Cheerful doesn't know
whether he is called that because his
friends believe he has a sunny dis
position or because they consider him
a cheerful idiot. But, at any rate, he
can't shake the name."-Philadelph
Ledger.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
Some Regulations.

Some Regulations.
"Do you. subscribe to the theory that
peoples characters are made by what
they eat?''
"No." answered the scientist; 'but.
judging from the advertisements, I
should say that in many cases their
regulations are made by the medicines
they take. Washington Star.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
Coffee in Brazil.

The Brazilians drink coffee as the
Germans drink beer. A great many
cups are drunk each day by the aver
age man and woman. The coffee is
made very strong and very sweet
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
Cripple Greek Mines.

Cripple Creeks second geological sur
vey will bsgin this month. The min
ers of the district have every reason to-
believe that wealth increases to
reasonable depth - say $500 feet.
This was the conclusion of Prof. Lakss
as early as 1892.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
His Narrow Logic.

"If had my way" said the man Of
high principles, '.there would be no
money in politics. Na
''But," said Senator Sorghum, if
you didn't put any money i'm politics it
isn't likely you could have your way"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
An Odd Contrast.

It Is curious fact that, whereas in
Italy the eduated classes are physically
greatly inferior to the peasants, in Eng.
land members of the learned societies
are physically superior to the laboring
classes.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
A Good reason.

Mrs. Greene-Whst do you have an
alarm clock in your chamber for if you
don't have the ala,m wound up?
Mrs. Gray-If you could have heard
the awful things my husband said
when the alarm went off, you wouldn't
ask me.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06

Distribute fifteen or twenty cents
around among the neighbor children,
and you can create more happiness
than the iron kings when they give a
million to a college.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
Keeping Her Good Ear on Wat

''Ycu should sleep on your right
side, madam"
"I really can't do it doctor; my hus-
band talks in his sleep, and can't
hear thing with my left ear. Town
Topics. 50 sa-
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
Pride.

Won Porker-Aren't you satisfied
with that ante-nuptial agreement
Lord. ..Grafter-I don't want to lose
my self respect after marriage by hav-
ing to run to my wife for every thous-
and.-Life. +
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06

= Year Round Disease,

Rheumatism does not come and go with winter
time always; In fact some suffer more during the
Spring and Summer than at any other season. When
the blood is charged with Uric Acid A1kai and other
condition for Rheumatism to develop and an attack
IS liable to come at any time, Winter or Summer.
Rheumatism, because it attacks different parts Of
the body, and is sudden or slow in its action given
various names such as acute and chronic. muscular
nercural and sciatic but it Is
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06

constant sufferers, while others have OF
but either kind is wearing upon the
stiffness in the muscles and joints, and
the blood settle upon the valves o. the
heart and ends suddenly and fatally.
It won't do to let Rheumatism
ruin ON. It is a dangerous disease, and
you can never tell where it is going to
strike. Home remedies. p1asters, ini-
fnents and such things as produce
ter-irritation, are. soothing and
may relieve the pain temporarily, but
the polluted, acid blood cannet be
reached by external applications.
Rheumatism must be treated
through the blood, and mo remedy
brings such prompt and lasting relief
as S. S. S. It attacks the disease in
the blood, neutra1izes the acids, and
removes all irritating poisons and I
s. S. S. strengthens and enriches
1ates through the body, the corroding,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06

In your misunde ndings with peo-
pie, do you give the other side fair
consideration? Don't profess that you
are always right
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06

Piso's Cure Is good cough medicine.
It has cured coughs and colds for forty
years. At druggists, 25 cents.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06

EIYe Permanently Cured. no fits or nervousness
flo after first day of .Klines Great Nerve
&esorer Send for Free % trial bottle and treatise
DR. r. H. Kline, Ltd. 931 Arch St.. Philadephi&, P@
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
Jumping Powers Of women.

Jumping Powers of Women.
While woman can, as rule, only
throw ball 45 per cent as far as o
man, she can jump 81 per cent as far
as man can leap.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
Stickney Gasoline Engine

Fifty dollars can be saved by buying
the above. Will run cheaper, chopping
Is to 20 bushels per hour, wood saw, well
drilling machinery, pumps, etc. Write
for catalogue. REIERSON MACHINERY CO..
Foot of Morrison Street, Portland, Oregon.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
Doesn't Reciprocate

Doesn't Reciprocate.
''Mis'ry likes comp'ny, don't it?"
eyes, bat when see it comm dat's
de day don't feel sociable. ATLANTA
Constitution. go
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06

q When a man moves to another town.
and has it in for the town he left, you
can depend upon it that he has never
done anything to help the town along
Born diplomats handle the truth
with care
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06

Do as They Please.
Dick-These folks next door have
n awful good time.
Dora-How?
Dick-Oh, they don't have to 60 any
where, and they don't entertain.-Ex-
change.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06

Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing
syrup the best remedy to use for their children
the teething season.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
hoods J0rSQDQrIlId

Acts with the most direct. beneficial effect
on the kidneys. 1t contains the best and
safest substances for correcting and toning
these organs. sI5
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
Cause for low,

Mamma Yes, the elopers have been
discovered at Niagara Falls. They are
going to telegraph home for forgive
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06

Papa-Thank goodnessl thought
they we're going to telegraph home for
fuuds r.x
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06

0nfn0u Finest in the world. Sit
kfaII right down and write
UllLuUit for beautiful illustrated
n n or 4 special catalogue on rose
kW\FN bushes. Hoffman Bros, 1853
ii y y L y G1isan St., Portland, Oregon.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06
Dragged.DOlDn
Feeling

Nervousness, undressing sleep, despon-
dency.
1t is time you were doing something.
The kidneys were anciently called the
reins-in your case they are holding the
reins and driving you into serious trouble.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-10-06

Portland, Ind, Jan. 10, 1908.
After being terribly crippled foa
three years with Rheumatism, and
having tried well known remedies 7
ceuIde get NO relief. And having
1eea OF the wonderful effects %
.. 3. D., concluded to try It, and
an happy to say that was entirely
cured, and am able to work a. well
a. ever did,
cheerfu1ly recommend 3. 8. 8. 20
all sufferers Of this terrible disease
and will say that II they viii eon-
tinue the treatment, ~ per diTecs
tiezs, they win ind permanent
cure. H. VI. SEES.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-05-30
Sin duda que os ofreceran

remedies de todo genero para curar Ia
anemia y debiida5 y para acelerar el
termino de la coAvalecencia, pero, en-
redondo, debeiS rehuSarlos todos y acu-
dir al vino de Quiniun Labarraque,
pues es el tinico tonico que ha mereci-
do la aprobacl6n de la Academia de
Medicina de Paris.
Basta fjarse Ell que tornado a la do
sis de una copita despues de cada comi-
da, restablece en- muy POGO tempo las
fuerzas del enfermo, aun en- aquellos
casos de mayor agotamiento; y cura Sc
guramente y sin sacudidsS los estados
de languidez, de debilidad y de snemia,
aun aquelloS mas tenaceS y rebeldes a
todo otro remedio, siendo al propio ITEM
po soberano para curar las febres e i'm
pedir que mas tarde reaparezcan.
De ah1 Ell que al serle acordada di-
cho prcducto la aprobaci6n de la Aca-
demia de Medicina de Paris, en- presen-
cia, sin duda, de tantos y tantos triun-
fos alcanzados durante tin periodo de
cincuenta af1os, la confanza de los en-
fermoS Sc aumente de dia en- dia hssta
ell punto de no existir farmacia donde
no Sc halle q la venta, del mismo modo
que en- ell DepoSito Central de Paris,
cargo de Ia Casa Frere, 10, rue Jacob.
Pero 10 particular, eS que siendo tan
efcaz como es, resulta el mas economi-
co de todos los tratamientos, pues cada
botella contiene medicamente para IS
dias, 6 cuando menos para IL 6 ID.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-05-30

Dora Rosa VeIiEIa,
Viuda de Porrata

A las diez y media de la maflana
de hoy Sc ha dado cristiana sepultura,
en- ell cementerio de esta capital, los
restos de Ia que en- vida llev6 aquel
nombre.
AL dar cl pesame los familiares
de La virtuosa dana, por la irreparable
perdida sufrida. hacemos votos porque
SD pena halle pronto lenitivo.
Paz eterna a Ia que no existe.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-05-30


IHabeis dido decir que Edmundo
Rostand, adandonando sus .Iabores tea
trales, Sc consagra desde hace un afo
escribir un libro sobre los trusts nor
teamericanos9 No, nj yo tampoco. Pc
TO este consiste en- que estamoS NAL in
formados. La noticia, en- efecto, es
universal. Asf, por 10 menoS, 10 de-
be Greer el ilustre poeta cuando el Pc
riodista Ti0Nkse Sketh Sc 10 hubo aseg1-
RADIO.
-,No!--exclam6 el autor Ge Cyy6EO.
Yo no me figuro rni mismo escribien-
do capituioS sobre los monopollos CO.
merciales, sobre los reyes de los ferro-
carriles, del acero, del petroleo, del al
gcd6n, del puerto salado, nj menos adj
bordanlo aventuras sobre un fondo de
multimillonarios. No. Olga usted cue
no.
El periodista neoyorkino que recibe
esta Categorical declaration, agrega !:
'.En Seguida tuve IA idea, sin duda muy
.yankef, de preguntar a Mr.. Rostand
cuales eran las ideas flosoficas 6 las
teorias humanitarias sobre las cualeS Sc
proponfa escribir sus nuevas obras."
Mi colega anglosaj6n cree que SD
pregunta fue muy yankee. En- realidad,
fue algo peor. Fue muy ridfcula. Fl
poeta francis Sc 10 hizo comprender
abriendo los oios desmesuradamente y
contemplAndole en- silencio, con aspec-
to de susie. Pero Mr.. Peter Sketch no
Sc di6 por vencido. "Leyendo los dra-
mas de usted-le dijo-se adivina des-
de luego que todos obedecen a una doc
trina pladosa, y tienen por objeto pro-
barnos que para no ser desgraciados es
meneSter no apurar la coPa hasts 81
fondo, sino apen9s probaTla. Y acto
continue, sin pernitir que el autor die
Sc su opinion, c3menz6 a analizar los
dramas celebres, probando que Ia be-
l!eza de Cyy0n3 esta en- que ell heroe
muere en- el monte en- que el niSmo
adiviua que Ia mujer adorada podtfa
amarle. y que Ia 81 andeza del 44Fgl0n
esta en- que el duque de Reichstadt de-
saparece cuando TN complot hubiera
podido hacerle duefo de la corona de
SD padre.
-Usted--continda Ell Eper;odista-lcs
hsce morir a todos en- el instante en-
que van q realizar sus ensuefios. Ha-
ce usted bien. De ese modo les per-
mite no sufrir desilusiones Y amargu-
.ras' La idea es bastante profunda, bas-
tante noble para que pueda usted con-
ti1iuar bordando en- ella snS imagenas
poeticas.
Rostand no Sc atravfa 4 contestar
una palabra. iParecfa tan convencido
de 10 que decia el Sr. periodista cyan
kee"l Y, ademas, cc6mo probar q TN
cr1tico que Sc equivoca al interpreter
nuestras 1ntenciones? "Yo, dice Ibsen,
hago mis- dramas, y para saber 10 que
querido simbolizar espero que los jue-
ceS de les letras me 10 digan'. A Ros-
tand nadie le hab1a ain descubierto
teor1as, tests, filosoffa. Era necesario
que los neoyorkinos 10 hicieran.
Mister Peter Sketch Sc sintio dichoso
cuando hubo dicho al poeta su descu-
brimiento. En- seguida lie pregunto;
-IQue ctros principles filosofcoS tie
ne usted1
El autor de "Cyrano". con los ojos
siemrre abiertos. parecfa no DIR, no
comprender por 10 rnenoS.
El crftico yankee" Tolvio. a inte-
rrOgar.
-1No tiene usted otras doctrinas que
puedan inspirarle7
-Sf-repuso al fin el dramaturgo-
la ironfa.
F. GOMEZ CARRtILO.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-05-30
SaIas.

ReaFiza una bnena partida de
traies de casimir ingles para ca
loalleros, faldas para sefioras, y
un buen surtido de traies para
niiios, a precios mitad de fabri-
ca.
No 10 olvideis-San Justo ia.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-05-30
RON GATELL

Ccnocido tanto en- la isla como On 81
extranjero el magnffco producto de Ia
mejor fabrica puertorriquef1a de alco-
holes, pueden hacerse los pedidos &
FEDERICO 1GATET,L,.
Mayaguez.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-05-30

Hasta la fecha Sc han recolectado en-
los Estados Unidos sumas por la canti-
dad de $4,000 para socorfer a los ju-
dfos menestero os de Kishineff, de Gu
va poblacion Sc espera emigren este
af1o q Ameri0a los menoS 65oco indi-
viduos Ei martes lego Nueva York
ell vapor holandes "Statendam" con
1900 de dichos etnigrantes.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-05-30

MERCADO DE NUEVA. YORK
New York, Mayo so.--Los
az1cares centrifugados Sc coti-
zan hoy q s rIIrI y los mascaba-
dos 8 3I6.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-05-30

Va unneiorarldo

Consignamos con mucho placer que
wa mejorando notablemente de su gra-
re enfermedad, la distinguida esPosa
de nuestro amigo don Rafael colorado.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-05-30
Programme.

nara ell examen y admission de
los aspirantes al ejercicio de la
Abogacia.
De Venta en- el BoLETzn 4 5000.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-05-30

Mientras M. Bogdanovitc1a, goberna-
dor de Ufa, Sc paseaba por el parque
de la ciudad, Sc le acercaron dos indi-
vlduos y lie ! Easesinaron 4 tiros, es-
capandose despues sin que fue-
ron habidos. Ufa es una ciudad de
2S 900 habitantes, caqital de la provin-
cia del mismo nombre, con paradero
del ferrocarril Transiberiano. Por aque-
LA parte vienen ocurriendo de tempo
aca, disturbios de caracter pol1tico y
agrario, y dfcese que los campesinos es-
taban incendiando las propiedades dc
los SeforeG.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1903-05-30
ne TERRA m0scOVITA

-MOtlucS-OQ aSSSludLOs II BO-
bernador asesinado.- DiSturbioS.
Campesinos incendiarioS. Indios
qre emigran.-La America ira
gona.
El tenieute general Won Baaveu, go
bernador de Xishineff, ha Sido retlrado
Y destituido del mando. D1cese que
habia un partido muy poderoso, deter
minado q impedir a todo trance la des-
tituci6n del gobernador; pero el Car
asf 10 dispuso y cerrro los ofdos a toda
otra consideration.
y Echase mucha de la culpa de 10 ocu-
lrido en- Kishineff al ministro del Inte-
rior, M. Plehwe, quien POGO autes dio
una ordenanza prohibiendo 4 los jud1os
pro veerSe de armas para su defensa, y
Ia crden, que como medida general, pa
rece justa, contrasts mucho, dicen los
crfticos, con la 1ibertad sin tasa de que
gozan los periodicos anti Semitas.
Sobre eli ntimero de vfc.imas en- los
nctines de Kishief, que ocurrieron el
domingo y lunes de pascua, (Io y 20 de
abril segt1u ell calendario ruso0 hay dis
crepancia. Ell gobierno russo pone la
cifra Official en- Is muertos y 100 heri-
dos, mientras que Lord Cranborne, sub
secretario de Estado en- Inglaterra, dijo
en- la Camara de los Comunes, que les
muertos babfan sido 100 y los heridos
muchoS mas. FL origen de los motines
fue, segdn ell propio Lord Cranborne, ell
aSesinato de un muchacho Cristiano, Gu
20 crimen Sc atribuy6 iujustamente a
los judfos.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-24
A New Union.

The housewifes' union has been
organized in Chicago and the follow
ing rules for husband adopted, which
the latter poor mortals can live up
to or be boycotted.
Husbands will be allowed to attend
the club one night per week.
Husbands will wipe dishes three
nights per week or hire girl for that
purpose.
Husbands will build and tend all
fires. This includes enjoying ashes
and carrying coal.
Husbands will arrange their bust
ness and pleasure so that their wives
will not have to work more than
twelve hours per day.
Husbands who are unable to do
this, or claim they are, will provide
girls to assist in the household in
order that their wives may not be
compelled to violate the union scale.
Husbands who fail to provide help
as herein specified, may expect that
The Lamar register., 1903-06-24
Waa Too PsaaImiatIe.

Sir Benjamin Baker. consulting en-
gineer to the Egyptian government,
tells an amusing story of an interview
he had eight years ago with an old
fashioned native land owner at the
time when the construction of a large
reservoir somewhere In the Nile val
ley was first seriously proposed. This
descendant of the prophet, who was
very rich and had been twice warned
by the government that probably he
would be hanged If any more bodies
of servants he had quarreled with
were found floating In the Nile, assur
ed Sir Benjamin that there could be
nothing in the project Of q Nile reser
voir or 1t. would have been done al
least 1000 years ago. Yet the great
Assouan dam now shows that the
ancients did not have all the enter.
prise.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-24

in telling of his plans please the
American people. The work will be
done with thoroughness which will
leave no necessity for further labor
of this sort during the remaining
years of President Roosevelt in Of
fee.
IAfew democratic papers have at
tempted to make partisan capital out
of the postal irregularities. Those
are unwise journals. Everything
that can truthfully be said about the
affair will reflect credit on the ad-
ministration. 1t is impossible to en-
tirely guard against the perpetra-
toe of such offences in government
offices. By detecting and furnishing
the offenders the number Of offences
is diminished and the interval be-
tween them is heightened. This is
what the administration and its
agents are doing. Nearly every day
brings the account of the removal of
somebody prominently involved in
the Irregularities. But removal, for
some of the offenders, does not end
everything. Criminal prosecution,
in some cases, will follow removal.
Wherever the law can be invoked
successfully, the offender will be
made to feel its rigors. No favorit-
ism of any sort will be shown by the
President or the postmaster general.
The President is more Interested
than is. any other American in main
tanning the honesty and efficiency of
the public service, and he will see to
it that these qualities are preserved.
The democratic papers which are
calling the country's attention in a
partisan way to the postal scandal
are helping to make votes for the
republican psrty.-Globe- Democrat.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-24
Good Ii.t.nsr. R.rs.

Listening is at once the rarest and
most charming gift woman can pos
sess, says the Chicago Record Herald
The mysterious influence that Cleo
patra exerted over Anthony has made
the world wonder. for the Egyptian
was not beautiful. But 1t is plain
enough when one remembers how she
inclined her little ears to hear the
stories of his victories. This trait
reached high art with Josephine. II
was only when she ceased to listen
and began to talk that she lost favor
with Napoleon. Given fair field
and a chance to prove herself an ap
preciative listener the plainest girl
can win honors In a contest with
beauty in nine cases out of ten.
The Lamar register., 1903-06-24

. No Quarter for tho Wronedoers.
Two things will be noticed in con-
nsction with the postal scandals.
One is that the wrongdoers are being
summarily dealt with, The other
is that most of them were in Office
before President Roosevelt entered
the White House, and some Of them
were in before Mr.. Mckinley was in
augurated. There is no politics in
the Irregularities. Democrats as
we'll as republicans are involved in
them. The man whose name has
been most conspiouously connected
with the scandals, Mschen, is dem
ocrat. The politics Of the offenders,
however, will not be considered in
the matter. All will have to 60 as
soon as detected. Whatever pun
ishment is provided by the law will
be inflicted on all of them, regard
less OF the name of the President
who was in office at the time their
connection with the department be-
gan, and regardless of their politi-
cal affiliations.
When President Roosevelt return
ed to Washington after his recent
Western trip and learned about the
postal frauds, he directed that On
immediate and rigid investigation
should be entered into, and that
punishment be inflicted in every case
where wrongdoing was discovered.
The Presidents orders are being car
ried out to the letter by Postmaster
General Payne and his assistants.
Only few of the persons exposed
thus far entered their posts during
the incumbency of President Roose-
welt, but this is a consideration which
will have no weight with the admin
istration. Offenders of all sorts will
be proceed against vigorously. There
will be driving out of tricksters,
boodlers and incompetents which
will give the country satisfaction.
The President is in thorough earnest
in the work. There can be no doubt
that the same spirit is entertained by
the postmaster general. A clean sweep
will be made of all the offenders of
every sort. The promptness of the
President in taking hold of the work
and the candor which he displayed