davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

with two ends of the handkerchief,
and by apparently pulling the ends un-
tied again. Take two ends of the
handkerchief one in each hand, the
ends dropping from the inside of your
hands. Tie single knot, when your
hands and your handkerchief will be
in the position shown in our illustra'
ton. Instead of pulling the ends c
and D, grasp the part marked G with
the thumb and forefinger, dropping
the end D and pulling upon the end
c and the bend B, when instead OF
really tying you loosen the knot. All
this must be done as quickly as posi-
BILE to prevent detection.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
The Worst Fool Under the Sun.

The Worst Fool Under the Sun.
He is a fool who sits and pines
While other men push along.
Who thinks that his lines are the hardest
lines
And croons a pitiful song.
He Is a fool who sighs: "Ah me!
I've arrived in the world too late!'
But the worst fool under the sun Ii ne
That nurses hate.
He is a fool no matter how high
Who fancies that when he dies
No other may worthily occupy
The place that he occupies.
He Is a fool who claims to be
Foredoomed to the scorn OF Fate.
But the worst fool under the sun Is he
That nurses hate.
There was never a man who nursed
wrong.
Intending to scourge his foe,
Unless he dragged future sorrow along
And added to future woe.
The anger we foster Is sure to be
Remorse for us soon or late.
And the worst fool under the sun Is ne
That nurses hate.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
THE PANAMA MIDDLE
SUSPICIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES
CONNECTED WITH 1T.
Bargain Seems to. be Just About as
Bad as II Could Be Made-violation
Of Treaty Almost a Certainty
Large Sums Voted.

The manner in which the Panama
canal treaty was ratified by the Sen
ate reflects no credit upon anybody
concerned.
1t appears from such reports Of the
discussion as have been made in the
senator expressed himself as wholly
satisfied with the arrangement and
1t Is we'll known that many of the
ablest members have found objections
to its adoption which might have been
considered insuperable.
In spite, however. of the notorious
ly unsatisfactory bargain with Colon
bia which Secretary Hay submitted
there was a practically unanimous
purpose to accept 1t and assume all
the obligations involved with as much
haste as possible. Perhaps at some
future time we shall have an explana-
ton of this precipitate action in adopt
ing a treaty which nobody but John
Hay is proud of, but at present there
is a great deal Of mystery about the
affair.
Under the provisions of this treaty
the United States will be called upon
to expend not less than $500, 900
for the construction of the canal
Colombia is to receive $10,000,000 for
its concession and annually for all
time it is to be paid $250.000 for the
use of its land. AS things 60 nova
days, 1t is within the range of posi-
bilities that some of this money is to
be used for questionable purposes.
Colombia is not so certain a quantity
in the political divisions Of the world
as to preclude the suspicion that job
bers nearer home may already have
a lien on the payments which 1t is to
receive These sums are large enough
to have purchased the zone in fee
simple.
In this treaty also we bind ourselves
not to increase our territory in Cen
trail or South America, and we speci-
fically acknowledge the sovereignty
of Colombia, generally represented by
a military dictator or other upstart,
over one of the greatest works ever
undertaken by man. In other words,
the canal, the construction Of which
by government can be justified only
as measure of national defense, is
to be constructed and operated on
land controlled by one of the least re-
sponsible governments on earth.
OF course there are in all this in
finite possibilities Of mischief, with
he certainty that if at any time it
shall become necessary for us to take
possession of and protect what should
be our own property we will be COM
PEELED to do so in violation of a
treaty.
Mr.. Hay was in hurry when he
made this bargain and the assent of
the senate has been gained on the
theory that everybody else was in a
hurry to have his bungling work rati-
fled. No doubt there will be plenty OF
repentance at leisure.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
A Few Conundrums.


II Mississippi wore Missouri's New
Jersey, what would Delaware? Alas
ka. I'll ask herr.
Old Mother Twitchhead had but one
eye,
And a long tail, which she let fly;
Every time she went over a gap
She left bit of her tail in trap?
A needle and thread.
Why are men like facts? Because
they are stubborn things.
Why is a lazy dog like hill? Be
cause he is slow pup (slope up).
Who is the greatest chicken THIEF
spoken of in Shakespeare? Macbeth
because he did murder most foul.
Why does a minister always say
Dearly beloved brethren" and not
refer to the sisters? Because the
brethren embrace the sisters.
Which musical instrument is the
most moral? An upright piano.
When did George Washington first
take a carriage? When he took q
hack at the cherry tree.
Why is life the greatest of all
conundrums? Because we must all
give it up.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Scrap Picture Books.

I know boy of 9 who has half a
dozen scrapbooks. They are all la.
beled and whenever time hangs heavy
on his hands, as it is likely to do on
rainy Saturday and Sunday after
Moons, he gets them out and sorts the
pictures, which he has thrown into a
box between times. When the Vene-
zuelan war began he saved pictures
and clippings Of that and now has a
first-rate history of the war. Another
book is made of clippings and pictures
of the great coal strike, another of the
faces of great men and another is all
about President Roosevelt. One book
contains an odd assortment Of pic.
lures of art and historical subjects
clipped from the illustrated period.
icals. A man who was writing book
about the Venezuelan situation offered
him IS for his scrapbook.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
A DANGEROUS Prec edent.

Let there be assembled at once a
grand mass meeting of the United and
Tenacious Society of Holders Of Snaps
There Is treason in the ranks. The
principal of an Iowa school has re-
signed, giving as reason that he has
not the audacity to accept $40 month
for teaching nine pupils in the high
school. He IL satisfied with the po-
sition, the pupils and patrons are salts
fed, but he hasn't the conscience to
draw the money and not return quid
pro quo. Now, wouldn't that scandal
lie the great body of snap holders in
the land? What are public jobs for II
not to provide snaps? And If once
the microbe of conscience gets to work
among the thousands holding snaps
who can tell the outcome?
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
A Veterans Story.

Bath, N. Y, April 13th.-The first
consideration of the Commandant and
Officers in the conduct Of the Soldiers
and Sailors Home here is the health
of the Veterans. Kidney Troubles are
the most common cause of ailment,
very few of the old men escaping these
in some form or other.
OF course the comrades do as much
as possible for themselves. and one or
the most popular and useful remedies
employed is Dodd's Kidney Pills,
which seem to be almost infailible In
cases of Kidney arrangements. Indeed
there are among the veterans several
who claim t. owe their lives to Dodd's
Kidney Pills.
For instance. A. E. Ayers, who came
to the home from Minneapolis, Mimi,
was given up by four doctors In that
city. He had Bright's Disease, and
never expected to live through 1t. but
his life was saved and his health re-
stored by Dodd's Kidney Pills.
His experience has made the remedy
very popular among the men, and no
one who has used Dodd's Kidney Pills
for any Kidney Trouble has been dis
appointed.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Ralsino the Price Of oil.

A new brain microbe has been de-
veloped. 1t belongs to Prof. F. M.
Taylor, who sits in the chair of politi.
cal economy at the University Of
Michigan.
Prof. Taylor says that Rockefeller
is all right in increasing the price of
oil from time to time. Rockefeller is
right, he says, because of the benefits
conferred on society. Rockefeller puts
another cent gallon on the price of
oil. He clears by the operation from
100000 to $S,OO0,0OO. He then
gives $1,000,000 for the cause of edu-
cation, which is for the benefit of
society.
Prof. Taylor says that in America
we do not raise money enough by
taxation to pay the cost of improved
educational methods. Therefore, when
Rockefeller raises the price of oil and
from the proceeds of his increased
revenue gives a small part for 1.-THE
benefit of society" he levies a bene-
fetal popular tax not provided for by
law.
at is, of course" says Prof. Taylor,
"a system of voluntary despotism
which we Americans submit to-" We
submit to this despotism in many
other ways. Our tariff system, which
taxes the people from SO to SIS in order
to produce 81 in revenue for the gov
eminent, is like the Rockefeller sys-
tenn Of collecting by the advanced
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Weary of the senate's Trickery.

1t was very clever Of the United
States senate, no doubt, to circumvent
the president, thwart the will of the
American people by discreditable
deal and make mock of poor little
Cuba's confidence, but the American
people are becoming weary Of the
senate's perversity and the trickery Of
the so-called leaders and they have
it in their power to bring that body
to a realizing sense of it's responsible
tiles. A radical change in the meth
cd of choosing senators is the OBJ
vious remedy, and when the people
demand that change it will be made.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
wbv Chickens Never Fall.

Little children who have big beds to
roll around on often fall out in the for
getfulness of sleep. and wake to find
themselves on the floor, usually more
frightened than hurt.
But chickens, whose beds are rarely
more commodious than a slender rail.
never. even in their deepest siiImbers,
lall off their perches. This is not due
to superior intelligence on their part,
but because chickens leg is so made
that whenever it is bent the tendons
that move the toes are frightened, and
consequently the foot is clinched.
Watch chicken and see how the toes
close every time it lifts it's foot to
take step. Now, when chicken is
the roost its legs are bent under
it and the toes are firmly clasped
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Extent of the Trust Evil.

The late house of representatives
passed Mr.. Littlefield's antitrust bill
with hurrah, well knowing that the
Senate could be depended on to kill
1t or render 1t innocuous. The author
Of the bill, in the course of his argu-
ment, made use of some facts which
showed clearly the modern industrial
tendency. Mr.. Littlefield vouches for
the reliability of his figures, which
were prepared by the congressional
information bureau and which appear
in the Congressional Record. They
include list of the industrial trusts
existing in this country on Jan. l last.
Mr.. Littlefield calls 1t the most com.
plete list ever published:
Number of trusts. ... 453
Common stock ........ .$5, 1913, S53, $50
Preferred stock ........ 1901, sos, 1920
Bonds .................. 1,165,774,52S
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
A Trio Around the World.

Did you ever play the game called
"Trip Around the World? 1t is the
very thing for a children's party. Each
player should be provided with a
small notebook and pencil. Blank
dance cards, with the tiny colored
pencils attached, are pretty for this
purpose The leaves should be num-
bered to correspond with various ar
ticles distributed about the room. The
game is then to guess the country or
city designated by each of these ar
ticles. A tiny jar Of cold cream stands
for Greece. a miniature pot OF baked
beans for Boston; bottle Of perfume
for Cologne; q cigar for Havana, etc.
The guesses should not be made too
difficult, but just enough so to brush
up the memories of laggard geograph-
ers. Prizes should be awarded to
those who secure the greatest number
of correct answers. A book Of travels,
a travelling cup, book for notes, good
pictures of the places named, are all
appropriate souvenirs. When the COM
pany is marshalled for supper let the
little ones find their partners by
means of duplicate postal cards.
These can be had now in the shops
and are very pretty and interesting In
themselves. They boy who gets a
Pixies Peak card takes out the girl
who receives a similar souvenir or
Uncle Sam, etc. For the table tiny
suit cases or little steamer trunks OF
bonbons or foreign conserves and i'm
ported fruits make pretty and appro-
pirate favors.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Naturally it makes man hot to be
frozen out of a good thing.
Tho Value Of Irrigation.

Anyone who Is incredulous as to
the practicability Of irrigation on q
large scale or as to its value ought to
see what has been accomplished by
means of 1t in Salt Lake City and
other places where 1t has been ap-
piled. He would then wonder and
regret why Congress should have
been so slow to act. Within few
years the habitable territory OF the
United States will have been en-
larged by millions of acres.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Investigation in Order.

The charge that Gen. Wood, the
favorite, accepted gifts from Havana
gamblers is an old one. 1t might have
been Investigated a long time ago
if anybody had wanted the inquiry.
Recent reports of the Cuban govern
ment show that when Gen. Wood was
in supreme authority at Havana It cost
100000 per year more to carry on
the administration than 1t now does.
That feature might be investigated
also.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

price of oil from $5,O0o,t00 to $S,o00,.
600, of which $1,OOO,OOO goes to "the
benefit of society,""
Prof. Taylor adds: Social Unequal
ity is necessary to progress and neces-
sary to collect enough capital to run
business. Mr.. Rockefeller has more
money than he can use, and thus he
turns 1t into productive capital"
OF such preposterous nonsense Is
the science" of political economy
composed las she is taught" at the
University of Michigan.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
From Old Boots.

A new kind of imitation morocco
Is obtained from old boots and shoes
by a French firm. The discarded
footgear is taken to pieces and the
leather reduced to pulp; it is then
made into sheets and dried. Pat.
terms can be impressed upon it, and
the new leather, which is very
strong, Is used for the outer cover.
Ing Of trunks and other articles.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Total capitalization. so ,231, 1876, sos

Now, by the census Of 1900, the en-.
tire actual capital in land, buildings,
machinery, material and cash engaged
in manufacturing in this country In
that census year was $9.874,6 ,0S7.
1t is estimated that by last January
these figures had reached $1O,500, 0OO,-
900. In other words, we now have a
capitalization alone of moncpolistic
combines practically equal to the &C.
tual value of all the industrial insti'
buttons of the country, though only
about half of them are in the trusts.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Hopes to Exterminate Malaria.

DR.. Dempoolff, the head OF the Ger
man anti-malaria expedition to New
Guinea. announces that he has dis
covered an aquatic insect which des-
troys the anopheles mosquito, and
that he proposes to cultivate the crea-
ture artiicially in the hope OF ex-
terminating the mosquito, thereby
discriminating malaria.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Optical Illusion.

This Is a perfect square. as may be
proved by laying rule along each side
in succession.
The apparent curvature Of the sides
is an optical illusion due to the cir.
cles.
A curious effect Of this sort. alarm.
ing to timid people, was produced at
the recent opening and dedication OF
a new theater in Leipzig. The square
pillars of the lobby were wound with
garlands of leaves, according to time
honored German custom, but in q pc
culiar fashion.
The lower part Of a pillar was
wound with a right-handed, the upper
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

near. The rooster, hearing the cackle,
answered 1t by crow, and thus In
formed the hen of the whereabouts OF
the tribe. This sort Of thing may be
seen now among the ancestors of our
domestic fowl in the Malay countries
and India.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Goat q Native Of Asia.

Originally the common or domestic
goat was q native Of the highlands OF
Asia. Naturalists generally regard It
as having descended from an animal
found in the Caucasus mountains and
the hill country Of Persia, called In
the Persian language the pesang.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Physicians Puzzled by Boys Diseas,

S@&'~o ~ SSy . S'SSasSs
John Kerns, 15-year-old son OF
Hanford Kerns, died at Whitacre, Va.
from a disease which has long baffled
the physicians. Shortly after birth
his body began to shrink and at the
same time his head to expand. The
disease could not be correctly dag.
nosed by the local physicians, but a.
1t progressed the boys limbs and
body so shrunk that he became skeL
eton. At death his head measured 80
inches in circumference and was %
inches over the top from ear to ear.
The boy was unable to walk, having
become top-heavy. and would fall over
owing to the weight of his head
Baltimore Sun.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
President Harper's Plans.

The total assets of Chicago Univer-
sity are $15.12S.375.95. President
Harper wishes to increase the salar.
les as follows: Professors. from
$4,000 to $4,000; associate professors
from $4,000 to $1,000. and assistant
professors from $4,000 to $4,000. A
pension system is also being cOnsid-
cred.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Beware Of Ointm ents FOR Catarrh That
Contain Mercury,

As mercury will surely destroy the sense OF smell
md completely derange the whole system when
Entering it through the mucous surfaces. Such
,rticles should never be used except prescrip-
ions from reputable physicians the damage
hey will do is tenfold to the good you can possibly
derive from them. Halls Catarrh Cure, manu-
,actured by r. ]. Cheney & Co.. Toledo. o.. con-
aims no mercury, and is taken internally. acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
,ystem. In buying Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you
ret the genuine 1t is taken internally, and made
n Toledo. Ohio. by F. J. Cheney & Co. Testi-
nonas free Sold by Druggists, price 75c per bottle.
Halls Family Pills are the best
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
Women Now Follow Trades.

Women have invaded many lines Of
employment hitherto thought exclu-
sively masculine. There are shown In
the last census report 126 women
plumbers, IS plasterers. 1877 bricklay-
ers and stonemasons, 241 paperhang-
ers. 1.759 painters, and 545 carpenters
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

around the perch so that 1t actually
cannot let 60 without first straight
ening up to an erect position. 1t thus
clings to its perch and maintains a
fixed position without any effort
Little Chronicle.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

Hundreds Of dealers say the extra
quantity and superior quality of De-
iance Starch is fast taking place Of
all other brands. Others say they
cannot sell any other starch.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

Cut out the several parts of the
above illustration and paste them to-
gether on sheet Of paper so as to
form a perfect checker board. The
pieces, as they stand above, must be
cut out whole and not subdivided.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

Don't you know that Defiance
Starch besides being absolutely supe-
rior to any other, Is put up 16 ounces
in package and sells at same price
as Bounce packages Of other kinds?
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

species of plover found in South Amer
lea, India and Africa have wing spurs.
and sharp and effective spurs they are,
too. The spur is situated just at the
base of the thumb, and, like the spurs
on the legs Of other birds, consists OF
sheath of horn fitting closely over
core of bone.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

Important to breeders is the Lincoln
importing Horse Company's ad in this
paper.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

Some men never think of marriage
until they begin to lose their hair.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

Look for this Trade Mark: 1.-THE Klean, Kool
Kitchen Kind" The stoves without smoke,
ashes or heat. Make comfortable cooking.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

If a fool possesses tact and assur-
ance he will distance the wise guy who
possesses neither.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

The umbrella is generally under a
cloud.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

DON'T SPOIL YOUR CLOTHES.
Use Red Cross Ball Blue and keep them
white as snow. All grocers. sc. a package.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
The Magical Knot.

A very entertaining trick is done
with a handkerchief. A knot Is tied
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

1t is said that many men who go
west to settle down forget to settle up
before leaving.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

Some people find it easier to please
others than to please themselves.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

The BARRIERS idea of miser is man
who shaves himself
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

Every man feels that he might be
rich If it wasn't for some other man,
or woman.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17
The Disc Puzzle.

Here is a solution of last weeks
puzzle, which was to arrange the
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1903-04-17

Stops the Cough and
Works OF the Cold
Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets Price 25c.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1903-07-13
FINED FOR CONTEMPT.
JUDGE BUGG GETTING AFTER
DELINQUENT WITNESSES AT
MAYFIELD.

Judge X. J. Bugg, who is holding
court at Mayfeld, infused little
ginger into the proceedings by filming
a number Of witnesses for contempt
and issuing attachments for others.
In the case of the Springfield Fire and
Marine Insurance 20. and Ligon,
Allen & Co. against the Mayfield
Light and Water 90. several were
fined 81 and costs for failing to appear
and one $50.
Alias attachments were issued to
Graves, McCracken, Marshall, Gallo
way and Carlisle counties for George
Lyon, John Lyon, George Dunning
Worthy Farley and w. b. Kennedy
and their bond fixed at $500 each.
The sheriff and his deputies were
ordered to use every diligence in ap-
pretending the witnesses.
The court minated that his juris.
diction in the amount of punishment,
which is $50 fine and thirty hours in
jail, was not enough in such cases as
this and that no would have jury
impsneled to try the oontempts.