The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1903-01-15
I AMES," said Mrs. Hunt, as hel

hot coffee, preparatory to taking
flying trip by the $50 car to the
city, 81 want you to do a few little
errands in town for me. My best
hat is at the milliner's to be fur
bished up little, and your Aunt
Jenkins is liable to come any minute,
and Maggie is scalding over the pick
les, and she'll burn 'em to cinder
If I'm not here to see after her, and
dear little Fido's eyes look as if he
might be coming down with fits, and
my head aches fit to split, and really
I don't feel as if l could go to town
to-day, and there are some things l
must have
ave no time to look after lot
of women's gimcracks," said Mr..
Hunt, contemptuously, "and /" but
his wife did not allow him to pro-
ceed.
"Oh, james, you really must find
the time-unless you feel that your
Judgment would not be good in mat
ters of this kind. | know that not
one man in 40 knows anything about
shopping, and"
"Humph!" grunted Mr.. Hunt, gulp-
ing down an extra large mouthful of
oatmeal. Judgment indeed! If |
couldn't do better a thousand times
at the shopping business than any
woman, then I'd be everlastingly jig
gered! Yes, would. could buy
$500 worth of things while you were
getting ten cents worth of handker-
ehiefs. Bah! it makes me tired to
hear so much twaddle about men not
knowing how to shop
'Well, if you really think you
would be able to Judge about these
things | want, James," said Mrs.
Hunt, automatically, for well she
knew that the surest way to induce
him TO do IA thing was to imply that
he was not competent to do it. "if
you really think you know about
them"
"Know? OF course I know Why
shouldn't I know? Any fool would
know about 'em. Fire off your list,
md be quick about it, Polly. for
I've got to get a move on"
"Let me write list. I'm afraid
your memory isn't quite so good as
woman's, and"
"Fol-de-rol! I can forget more in
six seconds than the average woman
an remember in lifetime" said Mr..
HUNT as he wriggled into his over
,oat and fumbled in the pockets.
Where in the dickens are my gloves?
Strange that my gloves are never
where put 'em! Whatever have you
lone with them gloves, Polly?"
"Here they are, right in your hat,
lanes, and now listen to what ] tell
you, and try and not make any mis-
axes. | want five yards of blue
'ambric for Rosa's Henrietta dress,
md card of hooks and eyes - De
Long's-humps, you know, and some
black canvas, and two yards of tur-
,ey red, medium bright, and four
Yards Of cheese cloth, and a paper
" needles-siXes, and some school
hoes for Tommy, 14k, and rubber
reels and no nails in the toes, and
III, get me a jar of cold cream, and
iome celery salt, and some stove
Ilacling-Blazerine and"
"Theres the carl" shouted Mr..
Hunt, as he dived down the front
iteps, followed by his wife's persist
ant cry Of
"Don't forget two pairs of black
,tockings, medium weight"
"What a tom-fool mess of stuff
women do have to buy" unused Mr..
Iunt, as he settled himself in the
e,1 lo
danced over the column headed Ell
iancial."
As Mr.. Hunt issued from his place
f business at night, he began to try
nd recall what his wife had told
i'm, and at the first dry goods store
e came to he rushed in, believing,
IS most of his sex do, that a woman
-ever purchases anything except at
dry goods store.
He hurried up to the counter near
'st the door, and began to reel off
is wants to the lofty-looking young
ady in attendance.
81 want five yards of red Henriet-
for a blue cambric dress, and some
umpy hooks, long ones, you know,
nd two red turkeys, medium smart,
md a cheese in "A cloth, and"
''Sir," said the young woman. with
neffablc disdain, this is not n meat
market. It is Messrs. Pull & Shrink
ms dry goods emporium, and this
the soap lady's department"
'Yes, yes, so believe" said Mr..
tunt, apologetcally, "but / want to
;et five red Henriettas, and a pair
( shoes for No. 1917 boy, with rub
er heels and no toe nails"
"The shoe department is on the
econd floor, three sections from the
ront, third aisle" said the soap lady,
nd then she added to her next
seighbor the patent-medicine lady:
What fools men are!"
Mr.. Hunt shot away in the direc-
ion of the elevator, only to be cor
ronted with the sign "This eleva-
or not running Take the one al the
ear of the store"