davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15
LINES To A LAUGH.

-
You can't jedge n%ufin." said Uncle
Eben, by de mount OF fuss It makes. De
Fo'th o. July is a heap noiser dan Christ
mas, but 1t ain near as expensive."-Wash-
ington Star.
"Well, that beats the Dutch" said the
Amsterdam s~choolmaster, as he fondly
gazed at his well-worn birch.-Princeton
Tiger,
You claim to be a vegetarian and yet
you are eating meat"
That's all right; this meat came from an
animal that ate grass."-New York Times.
Anxious Resident-Helio! Hellol Is this
Smiths coal office?
Coal Deaier-Yes; what do you want?
A. Rive only got coal enough In my
cellar to last until tonight
what'n You take for ft2-WashingtOn
Times.
C~hurch-Those western editors haye
Gotham-What's the matter now7
Nebraska / saw an obituary of a golf
player which ended like this: He's made
his last hole.-Yonkers Statesman.
1.-The trouble with you, Job" said one of
his tormentors. us that you can't see the
grotesaue features OF your case. You have
mo sense of humor.'' groaned Job,
s senTS sGTst In vain Simsf fGr a .J RlSse w1er S,o 6s
is full of it!'-Chicago Tribune.
Bixter-Do you know, Jipson, that your
play is positively indecent?
Jipson-It Is very kind of you to say so,
Bixter; but what's the use? 1 haven't
been able TO get any OF the papers TO de-
nounce 1t as unfit TO be seen.-Boston
Transcript.
Have you got any pound cake?" asked
the facetious youth.
Yes, sir answered the dealer, handing
out a package Of dog biscuit. Take Il
with you, or have 1t sent to the pound?
Address, please"
These smart Alexis give me a sensa-
youth backed out OF the door.-Philadelphia
Press.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

This ought to be a good time to re-
new those periodical discoveries Of coal
In Nebraska. If the coal fields of Ne
braska are shy perhaps a few oil wells
might be sunk Just to keep up the ex-
citement.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

In the United States supreme court the
other day Justice shlras was delivering
with all proper solemnity an opinion in a
patent medicine suit. A pretty little child
sat with her mother among the spectators.
The court was the embodiment Of dignity,
so much so that # was almost oppressive.
The little girl hdgeted in her place as the
justice, in monotonous tones, eXpounded
fine points Of law, and she shook her head,
adorned with a big picture hat, in i'm
patience. There came a pause. The little
girl piped: Mamma, why don't somebody
] smile?" and instantly she had her wish,
for everybody except the Mortified court Of
hcials Immediately displayed the broadcast
kind OF a grin.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

Congressman Grosvenor pleads guilty
70 the arraignment Of being a stand
pat republican. From the way the re-
publicans have been carrying the coun-
try the ~"stand-pat" republicans must
constitute the majority of the popula-
tion.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

obvious difficulties In the way that could
not be readily overcome. the chief of
which, of course, is that Of organizing
the stockmen as competitors of the
packers. However, the position Of the
members of the National Live Stock as
ISOLATION, in this particular, is to be
heartily approved as being distinctly in
the public interest, and it ought to have
a good effect.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15
Outlook for better Times.

TIL customs receipts for ten months In
the Philippines show an increase Of only
S554,O27 over the corresponding months in
1901. But the cholera did much to retard
business last year. 1t will be some time
before the Islands are thoroughly settled
and the Ladrones or brigands suppressed.
1t is gratifying to know that the soldiers
have not been required in the districts
under civil control.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

The member of the legislature who
wants to keep it dark needs watching
the most. A measure that cannot stand
the %searchlight Of publicity has no place
In the legislative chambers.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

Next to the committee on revenue and
taxation, the most important committee
in the legislature Is that on constitu-
tioual amendments.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15
Easy to Find Trouble There


st. Louis Globe-Democrat.
The Arkansas major who offers the gov
ernor Of that state a cavalry company $50
strong Ito protect the people Of Indianola.
Miss, against negro domination" should
be careful how he interferes with the opera
ton Of the postal department Of the United
states. No person ever had any luck who
tried to fool with Uncle Sans mails.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

The national house Of representatives has
concluded that Congressman Sheppard Of
Texas has the most delicately balanced con-
science in the entire body. When he started
back from his holiday he had through
tickets 10 Washington, but he found that
by coming on the route he had selected he
would be four hours late Tor the opening
Of congress. This discovery was made in
st. Louis. Mr.. Sheppard promptly threw
away his tickets and bought another which
landed him in Washington just in time. He
wondered why more seasoned statesmen
laughed when he told Of this experience.
The Texan is only p years old, which may
90 a long way toward accounting for his ex-
IRENE fidelity TO duty.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

The proposed extension Of the terms
Of Omaha municipal officers for two
months beyond the time for which they
were elected is made on the presumption
that the silk stockings will turn out at
the polls more readily in May than in
March.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

1t seems that there are other features
OF the Cuban reciprocity treaty besides
that relating TO the sugar tariff to, which
objections are raised. This ought TO be
quite a relief for the senators who have
been cartooned and lampOoned as beet
sugar men by cividing the blame for
delay in ratification OF the treaty.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15
Development in the south,
MINNEAPOLIS Times.

NI~IUItdUUHH AIIIVs'
With its 1000 miles Of new railways built
in 1902 and 5000 miles to be constructed
during 1903, with its $50, 0OO, 900 invested in
cotton milling during the old year and
possibly an equal sum to be put into that
industry this year, with its $500, 900 900
worth of exports and prosperity in all in
dustries, the south is doing very we'll in
deed in a business way.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

The danger IS that by the time all
these committees investigating the coal
situation are ready to report their find
Ings, the expiration IF winter will have
obliterated the issue.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

The Western Union has scored one In
the legal fight with the Pennsylvania
railroad. After the telegraph companies
thresh out their difficulties Uncle Sam
should step in as arbitrator II clear
the deck by absorbing the telegraph
lines as an adjunct TO the postal service.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

Ed Howell has SHE'D his castor into
the mayorRlty prize ring with an un-
qualified endorsement of the Howell
bill. but how does that jibe with his
position on home ruler Why should the
governor appoint n water works com
mission for Omaha any more than he
should appoint a tax commissioner for
Omahai
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

Several lo%ng-horned Texas steers have
broken loose in the National Live Stock
convention at Kansas City, but their on
set against the beef trust is more spec
tacular than serious.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15
smite the Clutch OF creed.
Indlanapolis Journnl.

The laws are not strict enough for the
prevention and punishment Of combinations
to rob the public by the establishment OF
artificial prices for necessities Of life, like
coal. The love OF money is the root OF the
evil, and 1t should be struck at with vim
dictiye energy.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

scheme is plainly and simply to confuse the
public mind while It is robbed. 1t is the
method Of pickpockets who work in couples
One Of them brushes up against their victim
to distract his attention, while the other
hlches from him
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

When a member of the Legislature as
sures you that there is nc politics IN his
bill, he will zeal as much watching as
the politician who wants it understood
that he is not a candidate, but is in the
hands of his friends.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

A euchre party given by students Of a
Brooklyn college and participated in by
1900 people netted the promoters $10,-
600. Just think what the kitty would
have raked in If the turn had been called
Tor a good old game of draw.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

The proposed land leasing bill which
restricts the amount of land which may
be taken up by any one lessee to twenty
sections instead of to thirty sections,
as proposed by the representatives of
the grazing interests, fails, it is said, to
satisfy the cattlemen. This is quite
natural in view of the fact that the cat
tlemen have up to this time had free
use of all the land they could fence. The
proposed compromise, however, is a con-
siderable concession from the require
ments of the present law and if it comes
to choosing between that and immediate
~vacating of the fenced land the cattle
men will fall into line. eveA If they are
not entirely satisfied.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

II the coal magnates do not a to
stir up public sentiment against them
to a greater degree they will keep Presi-
dent .Baer in the background and en-
force the gag rule upon hin.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15
Method. of Picknockets.
Boston Transcript

For the coal trust TO claim that the indie
pendent operators are keeping up the price
OF coal is an absolute falsehOod. II the
trust we're so disposed the independents
could be driven TO the wall in a week. The
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15
Promises should BE FuIamed.

Chicago Record-Herald.
Those congressman VINO object to the re-
moval OF the present duty on coal. claiming
that IL would not relieve the situation, may
have forgotten that guarantees of good
faith are always timely.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15
Exception 20 the Rule.

Saturday Evening Post.
Look up and not down" is good advice,
but IT won't do for the man who has 10
descend INTO the cellar every day TO see
how much longer his coal supply Will last.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

The legislature may work short hours
row., but 1t will have to put in overtime
to make up for 1t before adjournment.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

Chicago News.

Chicago News.
No doubt the socialist agitators will see
the propriety OF rendering their thanks to
the coal corporations for the great boost
received by their cause.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

1t looks as II there may be something
to aTbitrate between the beef packers
and the beef growers.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State of Nebraska, Douglas County ss:
PubIishinR company, being duly sworn, Gays
that the actual number Of full com
plete copies OF The Daily, Morning., Even
ing and sunday Bee printed during the
monlh OF Decemher. 1902. Mas as 1olloWs.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

You can't jedge %nufln," said Uncle
Eben, by de mount OF fuss II makes. De
Fo'th o. July is a heap noiser dan Christ
mas, but II ain near as expensive."-Wash-
ington Star.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

You claim to be a vegetarian and yet
you are eating meat"
That's all right; this meat came from an
animal that ate grass."-New York Times.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-01-15

well, hi beats the Dutch" said the
Amsterdam schoolmaster, as he fondly
gazed at his well-worn birch.-Princeton
Tiger,
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-03-23
NOTES.

DR.. p. J. Raster, chief surgeon for
the Santa Fe, is in the city.
Engine No. AZ made a trial trip yes
terday after a siege in the local shops.
Trainmaster E. J. Gibson of the AL
%buquerque division, spent Sunday here
with his family.
The work of erecting the new Rail-
road Y. M. c. A. building at Topeka
is progressing rapidly. Quite a large
part of the foundation has been laid.
Frank Johnson, of the Albuquerque
shops, is in the city making a short
stay with relatives.-San Bernardino
Sun.
Engineer H. II. Brown, recently of
the Panhandle division of the Santa
Fe, has been given a switch engine in
the local yards.
John Rodgers, stenographer for w.
]. Black, general passenger agent of
the Santa Fe, has resigned his posi-
ton in favor of a better one in Trini-
dad, Colo.
A force of twenty men left here yes
terday for Kennedy to work for the
Santa Fe Central railway. Several cars
of railroad building supplies for this
company are delayed at the La Junta
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-03-23

yards on account of a congestion OF
traffic. Three cars of spikes arrived
over the Denver & Rio Grande and two
cars of fish plates came in on the
Santa Fe yesterday for the new road.
New Mexican.
Engineer John ID. Heart and wife
left yesterday for Springfield, Ohio,
where they expect to reside. Mr.. Heart
had charge of the electric light plant
of the local shops.
r. Z. Sommers, a Santa Fe engineer
with a run out of Las Vegas, N. NJ. ar.
rived in this city yesterday and will
spend several days here visiting with
friends. He is in the west on a months
leave of absence.-San Bernardino
Sun.
A dispatch to the Chicago Record.
Herald from Elkhart. Ind. says:
Henry Stone. said to be the oldest To-
connective engineer in the country, has
resigned from the service of the Lake
Shore. He entered their employ fifty
years ago"
Diloh IA was " nv -
call boy at the round house at Las
Vegas. but who has of late been firing
the engine on the Santa Fe branch,
was badly scalded about the head and
face Friday, while underneath the en-.
CINE cleaning the ash pan.
The Western Passenger association
roads have agreed to grant a rate OF
n fare, plus 50, for the round trip for
the dedication ceremonies of the Louis.
lana Purchase Exposition at st. Louis
April 8 to May 3. This follows the &C.
ton recently taken by the st. Louis
lines.
Con Murray, a former popular resi-.
dent of New Mexico, and at one time
a Santa Fe engineer, is seriously i'll
and is in a hospital at Springfield, Mo,
Mr.. Murray is at present superintend
ent of equipment of the Santa Fe and
is very popular in railroad circles. His
many friends here will be panied to
learn of his serious illness.
General Manager w. S. Hopewell, of
the Santa Fe Central railway, will
leave this evening for Trinidad to look
after the forwarding of many cars con
tanning railroad supplies for the Santa
Fe Central now in the yards of the
Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe Railway
company at that point. He expects to
return to this city tomorrow night
New Mexican.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-03-23
BETTER SHOW
For Her Children Than She Had.

They will do it because they don't
think carefully, but parents who give
coffee to children reap their own pun
ishment in the puny, sickly looking
little ones.
Many and many a child has been
started on the road to disease that
ended in death, by being improperly
fed and given coffee, which is a rank
poison to many a highly organized hui.
man being.
A lady of Atlanta, Ga, says: MY
mother was a slave to the whims of
her children and let us eat and drink
anything We called for, particularly she
gave us coffee and lots of it.
Il grew up delicate, half sick and
miserable. When / was about grow
| began having serious spells with my
heart and my condition became so bad
my friends decided l could not live
long. At a consultation of physicians
n of the doctors proposed that'I dis.
continue coffee. This was years ago
before Postum was discovered. | quit
the coffee and in a year or two my
heart was perfectly well.
Several years later when | had a
home OF my W imagined that the
stimulant of coffee might benefit me.
so started in on it and in a few days
the old symptoms of heart trouble re,
turned. | quit it and took up Postum
Food Coffee for my morning beverage
and the heart trouble disappeared.
find Postum aids by digestion and has
helped to build up my whole system.
Il now use it three times a day and
give it to my children with the knowl.
edge that it is powerful, delicious
liquid food instead of a pernicious poi
son" Name given by Postum Co, Bat
tie Creek, Mich.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-03-23
DEMING.
A Few Pointers About a Good Town In
Southern New Mexico.

Keep you eye OF Demlng
Deming has Just been incorporated.
Deming ships over 100000 head of cattle
annually; Is the center OF the greatest
breeding region in the southwest and cat.
tlemen all know this.
Deming, the coming city Of New Mex
leo.
Deming has a magnificent school sys-
TEN.
Deming, the railroad center Of New
Mexico.
Deming, the gateway to the best part Of
Old Mexico.
Deming. the seat OF the new county of
Luna.
Deming Is the great mining center Of
the southwest.
Demingl Don't overlook 1t II you are
looking for a safe and paying investment.
Deming water is chemically ~pure-equal
to Polan springs.
Deming has Increased 80 per cent In pop
ulation In four years.
Deming water and pure ozone make
strong and healthy people.
Investments in Deming lots will double
and treble in one year.
Deming has now a large ice plant and
electric light system under contract.
In Deming the demand for rental
houses is five times in excess OF the sup.
ply.
Deming has an abundance OF water for
irrigating vineyards, orchards, or gar
dens.
Buy lots and build in Deming. Your
rental returns will be 20 per cent on the
investment.
In Deming good safe loans can be had
at better rates than in the old established
towns.
At Deming you can buy lots at 500
which will pay you 100 per cent in less
than twelve months.
In Deming another good hotel is needed
to accommodate the enormous increase Of
/ population.
Deming is a great health result-has no
superior in climate for the cure OF pull
monary troubles.
Deming will be the great smelter center.
Two large plants will be installed within
the year.
Why buy high priced lots when you can
get them In Deming cheap now, with GER
tain advance assured?
Agricultural lands in Demlng are unsur-
passed for fertility, production OF fruits
and vegetables OF all kinds.
Deming offers the same opportunities
now that the most prosperous cities in the
west offered several years ago.
Demlng needs one hundred new houses
TO supply the demand, and needs them
now. This demand continues to grow.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-03-23
CoffeIt Trial Beuun,

A dispatch from Winfield, Kan.
says:
o. w. Coffelt's third trial for the
murder of G.. C. Montgomery, a Santa
Fe detective, began in the district
court Thursday afternoon. His attor
neys attempted to have the case con
tinued, and, failing in this, asked fol
a change of venue on the ground that
the presiding judge had been deputy
county attorney during the two former
trials. This motion was also overruled
The crime for which Coffelt is being
tried was committed October s, 1901
when some one crept up to Montgom.
ery's home in this city and fired a load
of buckshot through the window, kill
ing him.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-03-23
Reduction Of Time to the coas

A dispatch to the Record-Herald
from Omaha says:
Regarding the plans of the Harri-
man-Vanderbilt lines for the coming
year a Union Pacific official is quoted
as follows:
1--WE propose to cut the time from
New York to San Francisco to three
and one-half days. Contracts have al.
ready been let for doubling 144 miles
of track, seventy-six miles of it in
Wyoming.
The Southern Pacific is nov plan.
ming a tunnel through the Nevada
mountains to cost $40 600 900. This
will make a tremendous difference in
present schedules. The heaviest work
however, will be the reduction OF
grades and Strengthening of curves, in.
volving $40, 000, 900 of expenditures,
The result will make the proposed re-
markably short schedule possible"
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-03-23
After Coal in the South.

The Illinois Central railroad has
about completed the survey of a line
between Bemis, on the main line of
the system from Fulton to Jackson,
Miss, by way of Jackson, Tenn, to
Tuscumbia, Ala, with a view to tap
ping the rich coal and iron fields of
Alabama. The survey runs through
the Shiloh National Park and then par
allels the Tennessee river to Tuscum-
bia. The line, when built, will open up
a section rich in timber and agricul-
tural resources, and will at the same
time give the Illinois Central a direct
line for the handling of it's share of the
coal and mineral traffic now original,
ing in the Alabama and Tennessee
fields.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-03-23
West Bound
No. 425
Trains run daily except Sunday.

Trains run daily except Sunday.
Connections with the main line and
branches as follows:
At Antonito for Durango, Silyerton
and all points in the San Juan country.
At Alamosa with standard gauge)
for La Veta, Pueblo. Colorado Springs
and Denver, also with narrow gauge
or Monte Vista, Del Norte and Denver,
Creole and all points in the San Luis
valley. At Salida with main line
STANDARD gauge) for all points east
and west including Leadville and nar
row gauge points between Salida and
Grand Junction.
At Florence and Canon City for the
gold camps Of Cripple Creek and Vic
tor. At Pueblo, Colorado Springs and
Denver with all Missouri river lines
for all points east.
For further information address the
undersigned.
Through passengers from Santa Fe
in standard gauge sleepers from Ala
mosa can have berths reserved on ap-
plication.
A. S. BARNEY, Act. Gen. Agt.,
Santa Fe, N. NJ.
s. X. HOOPER, G. P. A., Denver, Colo.
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-03-23
Will Purify Water Supply.

The general manager Of the Union
Pacific has closed a contract with a
Chicago company for construction of
twenty-five water-purifying plants to
be constructed on the system between
Omaha and Salt Lake. The order is
the largest of its kind ever given in
this or any other country, and contem-
plates the expenditure of at least ST.
500, 900. Work is to begin at once The
officials of the Union Pacific have
solved the question of pure water. 1t
is estimated that the average life of
locomotives will be more than doubled,
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1903-03-23
WOOL RATES GO UP.
Western Roads Made a Vigorous Pro-
test,

A snarl has arisen over the action
of the eastern railroads in advancing
the freight rates on wool. It is as
serted that efforts were made to avoid
publicity in connection with the in
creased tariff in order to delay the in
evitable protests of the western lines
and the shippers until the change had
gone into effect.
Already the western lines are max
ing their protests and their objections
are couched in the most vigorous fash
ion. The eastern roads, however, man
ifest no disposition to recede and as
sert that their action was forced by the
avarice of the western systems in ex-
acting an unjust share of the tariff.
They point out that while the lines
west of Chicago and st. Louis hauled
the wool not more than 1900 miles
their share of the rate was more thai
four times as great as the proportion
allowed the eastern roads for hauling
the same freight just half as far.
The new tariff went into effect
March l. Before that date the through
rate was 50 each for each LOCO pounds.
OF this the western lines received $1.64
and the roads making the haul to the
s%eaboard got SO cents. The eastern
lines have made the advance by trans
ferring wool from the commodities
schedule to the general classification.
washed wool going into the first class
and unwashed wool into the third
class.
The advance thus effected in the
tariff from Mississippi river basing
points to the seaboard is estimated at
10 per cent. The western roads will
either have to reduce DR. advance their
ate to secure relief through the Cen
trail Freight association. 1t is suggest
ed that a joint meeting of eastern and
western lines might succeed in adjust
ing the tangle.