davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07

z~ NCE there was a seventeen E6OD1 year-old Lambkin with O long Legs and his Hair parted in the Middle, who was taken down with a severe case of Love-Gripes, known in the Books as the Spoony Infantum.
 He cut off on his Eating and be- came white around the Gills. Most of the Time he sat around looking at the Rugs and feeling sorry for himself
 The Object of this hungering Af- lection was a 90-pound Gum Chewer, who lived next Door. She was fresh and merry little Sou brine half way between Long Dresses and Short Dresses. She was very Lippy and talked back to her Folks and made Sassy cracks at the Old Ladies who came along, and was a Champion Gig gler.
 Most people regarded her as the Neighborhood Pest and suggested that it would be a Grand Idea to turn back the Calendar about two Years and go at her with a Slipper.
 She was just at the Perky-Age. She had her first Cart-Wheel Hat and little Wrist-Bag and she was experimenting with Powder Puff and putting in considerable Time on her Shape.
 She thought she was the Works and so did little Willie. He wanted to marry her, but he had only 90 cents in his Tin Bank and License cost $2.
 So all he could do was worship her with a yearning and hopeless Love and write seven or eight mushy little Notes every day. All though she was shy on Experience she had the Feminine Instinct, for she would carry on with two or three other grammar-school Tad poles all the time, just to keep Willie heated up and miserable.
 Willie's Mother hal seen a good many Children and was familiar with the Symptoms of the Veal Period, so she was treating him gently and trying to nurse him through the ALLack. Not so with the Old Gentleman. It made him wrothy to see a Hulk of a Boy make such a Blithering Imbecile of himself. Like nearly all Papas, he believed that Puppy Love should be cured with a Piece of Scantling.
 The more he roasted Willie and poked fun at the gabby little Tid- Bit next door, the more deep-seated and inflammatory became the Fe- yer that Willie mistook for True Love. The poor Kid fell behind in his Classes and moped around the House, trying on different Cravats.
 Sarsaparilla did not seem to help him. and when any of the Callers told his Mamma that he was look ing Thin and Pale, he put on wan Smile and felt encouraged, for Willie had it all fixed up that he was to die of a Broken Heart and have a Swell Funeral at the First Presbyterian Church, with his Be- loved sitting in the Front Row and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07
MODERN FABLES BY GEORGE ADE.
 Dad the
sY eEoReE AoE-copyrIaht 1aoa ay Robert ovard Ruse

weeping copiously. He saw no other Way of getting back at his Cruel Parent
 Willie's Papa, in trying to ham, mer the Divine Sentiment out of his idiotic Offspring, made Spe- cialty of the familiar Song-and- Dance beginning, When was at your Age"
 So far as Willie could gather from the rough Line of Conyersa- tion handed to him about three times per Day, Papa had always been cold-blooded and sensible, even in his earliest Youth. Papa never had been so weak and fool ish as to fall in Love. Sometimes Willie wanted to ask him if he had married Mamma on a Bet, but he was afraid to start anything.
 As for Mamma, she sat back with her Lips closed tightly and listened while the theoretical Head of the Family joshed poor Willie and bragged about himself and told what a bright, industrious, level-headed Boy he had been, along about 1875.
 She stood for it long Time and then she decided to take charge of Willie's Case and put him Wise. Papa's Scheme for break ing up the Affair with the Bantam next door was to threaten to send Willie to a Military School if he ever spoke to her again. Papa knew a lot about the Insurance Business but he was Shine when iL came to pulling off a piece of Fine Work in which tender young Affections were all snarled up.
 It happened that Papa had to go East for a Month and no sooner had he jumped the Town than Mama took Willie into her Room and flashed a Bundle of Letters on
 him.
 "There are a few Samples of the Juiu Paste that your Father used to send to me back in 1SS0," she said q hate to Call him, but 1 want you to know that no matter what you do. it runs in the Family. Glance over this one, for instance. He calls me Honey seven times In three Lines, with couple ot Syeeties thrown in to make It good and strong. AS a Juvenile Gush your Pa was the Human Limit. Of course, that was long before the Rheumatism caught him and he began to see the Doc tor about his Liver. You must always respect your Father but you needn't believe anything ne says. In regard to your deep ana steadfast Love for the Beautiful Creature just over the Fence, will say that have framed 1t up with her Mother to have the two of you Married just as soon as you are old enough, which will be In about Five Years. In the mean time you are at liberty to put ln All your Time with her. suggest that you go over to her Honse inn mediately and Converse with her for several Hours concerning Art, Literature, History or whatever Topic is uppermost in her Mind. When you get tired of calling on her she can come over and see
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07
Hats

In Hats we can show you all the newest block shapes and colors and a nice selection of Straws at from 500 to $500.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07
Lady Who Told the Truth.

you. It Is customary for an En- gagged Couple to be Inseparable."
 When Papa came back from the East he found that Willie had gained O pounds and was very busy organizing a Junior Ball Team to do up the West Side Gang. Every time that little Sweetheart came through the Side Gate to play with him, he gathered up his Mask and the Big Glove and made a quiet Sneak for the Alley.
 Papa saw that the Affair was busted and he told ais Business Partner mat he had reasoned with the Kid and brought him to his Senses.
 MORAL: In case of Neighbor- hood Complications, send Papa on a Business Trip.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07
Senator Hoar,s R-adlna.

Senator George F. Hoar has a good reading appetite His novel reading con- ssts chiefly of reading and rereading Sir Walter scott's novels. The Barsetshire Stories" by Anthony Troiope three or four of Dumas and occasionally one of Miss Austens. He is also very fond of detective stories, from Sherlock Holmes to old Sleuth. In a letter regarding the matter, Mir. Hoar says ''The books which l read constantly, more than any Vaughan, Emerson and Jeremiah Tay- Tor 1 am very fond of English biogra- phies, especially political biographies. in which include the lives of the English bishops and archbishops But when my eyesight is good I am rather a miscellan- eous reader and read a good many books of all sorts'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07
Ladies' Strap
 Slippers

Ladies Strap Slippers at from $1.OO to $500 in French half Lewis, Mill tary and Cuban heels, in from 1 to straps.
 Oxfords at from $1.5O to s3.5O in all l;te heels and toes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07
NEW SOCIAL WRINKLE.
Laundry trike Starts the Vogue-lt is
 Called "Washng Bee.".

From the Chicago Record Herald.
 Have you been invited to the Washing bee' in your block? If you have not you had better begin to look after your social laurels, for this new form of nelghbor- hood gathering is likely to outshine the sewing bee" and the quilting party until the laundry strike is settled. Dwellers in the handsome apartment buildings from Kenwood to Edgewater have taken to this form of charitable entertainments, and they gather early in the morning in the dark and dlngy | laundries, which were never intended l for use, tucked away In the recesses of | the basements. Backs may ache and hands be rough and red when the parties l break up, but the family washing has been done, and the tired matrons are able to appreciate why the modern maid of all stipulates that she shall not be required to do washing when she takes the place.
 Home laundry work has been dscour- aged by the builders of modern apart ments to such an extent that their ten- ants have resorted to the steam laun- dries to do almost all the family wash When the strike was called and maids absolutely refused to undertake the job, there was nothing left for the poor house. keeper but to do the work herself. One bright woman In southside apartment building hit upon the plan of asking the other women in the building to join forces with her, and the plan was quickly adopted and has rapidly spread through out the city. Misery likes company 1t Is said, and the task of the poor, toiing matron Is frightened by the company ot her suffering sisters.
 Husbands and brothers are not expected to kick" when they find the brown scorch mark of an overloaded fiatiron planted in the middle of their shirt bosoms nor when their collars are limp and stained; they should rather praise the industry of their wives and give thanks that their garments have been purified of dirt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07
DIsfieured anI Out of the Hunt.

From Pick Me Up.
 Banby-But why have you thrown Charlie overheard?
 Maude-I couldn't marry a man with a broken nose, you know
 Banby-Ah! I wonder how he got his nose broken, poor fellow?
 Maude-Oh. struck him playing ten nisl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07

We can show some of the loudest as well as some of the most modest colors ever shown in Hosiery.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07

ever and always I associated him in my mind in some ridiculous attitude, and [ just laughed myself out of the notion of marrying him.
 This was really awful" again sighed the grandmother. 'I summoned up breath and courage, but could only look askance at my third grandchId. She needed no urging. More than ever be- fore, l noticed they were willing to talk, each, of course, trying to help excuse the other
 Well she began. even you would not blamed me- grandma, had you seen Ned's legs they were screams. How do [ know? Why he came for me one morn ing to play golf, all dressed up in his golf suit, and I just laughed myself into 1t. This was last summer. you know. and he got mad about It and didn't wait for me to get ready. but left. Bue heav-- ems! when he appeared the next morning on the beach in his bathing suit, I thought l would kill myself laughing and begged him to go into the ocean and stay there until left the beach. Of course, that was the end of the engagement. and. to tell the truth, l was as glad as he was grieved and mad about 1t. Whenever I'm blue and want a good laugh, I just call up in my mind that awful picture of Ned in golf and bathing attire
 Well in positive amazement and fear, looked at my grandchildren. who seem ed to be too busy in their "reminiscences of sniffles, socks, and golf and bathing suits to note my presence or to hear my exclamations; but l think the present man is running untold risks in choosing a wife out of this generation. Always before, have considered 1t was the wo- man who should exercise care and judg- ment, but In the future my entire sym pathy goes 10 the man, for In marrying a woman who Is so easily dlsillusloned by such unessential details as I hear dis cussed by the modern girl, it is the man l think, who takes the risk, and not the girl'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07

The sewing circle has gone out of vogue. The women discovered that they could without 1t find opportunities to talk; the men realized It even sooner.
 In the numeral system of the family many a woman is the cipher that multi plies a mans worth by ten.
 There Is no essential relation between the size of the waist and that of the brain, but 1t Is not particularly strange that, after carefully studying women as they appear on the street, some men have concluded that there Is.
 Many men feel sorrowful because their wives do not like to keep house. Will such men as would like the job please to stand? Don't all rise at once; prob ably all who are very desirous can be gratihed.
 Man never attalns a height of benevo- lence equal to that on which gentle wo- man feels that she stands when she pays another woman's fare on a street rail- way
 The greatest man that ever lived prob ably lacked several degrees of being as great as his mother imagined him to be.
 The most bitter opponent of decollete costume that I ever knew was a woman who was five feet nine inches tall and weighed 103 pounds. I used to feel a. vast amount of respect for her moral 
 A house without a closet is conceiv- able, but house without a mirror, never.
 It Is difficult to imagine what some men would do with the large sums of money they make were 1t not for some gentle loving, faithful little woman who earnestly helps them to spend the coin.
 A bird in a miliner's show window is worth about two thousand in the bush.
 There Is justifable inference that the man who vllifies womankind must have been unfortunate in the selection of a mother.
 The church without women Is situated on the bank of the lake without water
 Nothing Is more beautiful than maid en's blush-and everybody admits, too, that 1t Is cheap at 25 cents a box.
 Tell blind man how high madam lifts her skirts on the street and he can form fairly safe estimate whether she has on 1 her prettiest hose or one of the other pairs.
 To be sure. Eve did give Adam a bite of the apple but who dares to doubt that he was hanging around and looking wist- fully at it?
 The boy who was beanten in school by the girls Is easily discoverable after he has attained manhood. He always insists that woman Is mans mental inferior.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1903-06-07
Kings
 Shoe Dept

Remember we are taking special pains with this department.
 We guarantee every pair of Shoes that goes out of the house to give per feet satisfaction or your money back.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1903-10-14
Protest is No Surprise.

Station Agent II. L. Beecher of the
Chicago & Northwestern, is limo wise
at the recent protest of the
property owners near Third North
street, who have raised cry against
the constant ringing of the alarm bell
at that crossing. He says that it is
exactly what has been expected by the
railroad men and what they predicted
would happen before the gong was put
in, but insists that the company is not
responsible for the trouble. The regu-
lations of the road covering the
installation of gongs at crossings
provide that the track shall be wired
in both directions for $40 feet, but
owing to the close proximity of the
yards this was cut down to 1920 feet.
Now the aldermen want this reduced
but to take the wires beyond the last
siding would bring them Within 300
feet of the gong giving little if any
protection. It would appear that a
fagman would have been far more
satisfactory than bell in this case,
although there does not seem to be a
great demand for either.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1903-10-14
WILL START A new DAILY
Hays and Verify to Operate News
IT, paper at Bemidji.

A partnership has been formed be-
tween W. E. Verify of The Wadena
Tribune and H. G.. Hays, formerly of
Sleepy Eye, who have purchased The
Bemidji Sentinel, and will conduct it
in connection with The Wadena Tri-
bune.
Bemidji has three newspapers and
The Sentenial is the youngest and has
been the smallest of the three. They
will soon transform it into a daily
evening paper, and will arrange for a
pony service of the Associated Press
dispatches.
Mr.. Hays will look after the Bemidii
business and Mr.. Verify will continue
to reside at Wadena. They are now
in the twin cities purchasing new
material for the Bemidji plant. Mr..
Hays went to Bemidji to purchase The
Daily Pioneer, butthe deal fell through.
-Mankato Daily Free Pree.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1903-10-14
HOPE TO CLEAR CLIENT
Attorneys For August LoeffeImaCher
Trying For His ACquittal.

Interest will center next week in the
trials of August Loeffelmacher of
Ridgely township and his son, John,
which are to come up at ST. Peter. The
October term Of the Nicollet county
district court will convene in that city
Tuesday and the cases against the
Loefelmachers are among the first on
the docket.
In those against August Loeffel-
macher, who is charged with burning
a barn belonging to Frank 4Kienlan
and with an accessory in an attempt
to dynamite Mans & Wenigar's thresh-
ing engine, there promises to be a
sharp legal battle. Claims are made
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1903-10-14

by the authorities that they have
succeeded in unearthing quantity Of
new evidence and they now assert that
they will be able to introduce testimony
which should convict. On the other
hand the attorneys for the defense
seem. confident that they will secure an
--..
Last Friday Attorney Albert faender
of this city, was in Mankato and con-
ferred with Attorney W. E. Young.
They are ready for trial and as near
as can be gathered it is within their
power to make out a strong case for
their client. One thing in August
Loeffelmacher's favor is that his son,
during the time he has been in prison,
has never incriminated the father in
any way. He has always stated and
still maintains that the elder man knew
nothing of the plans he prepared and
it may be possible, in spite of the
sentiment against the defendant, to
prove his innocence. 1911. ....
John Loeffelmacher is in Jail at st.
Peter, where he has remained since
his release from the penitentiary at
Saltwater. His chances of going free
are regarded as hopeless. A year ago
he confessed to loading a pipe with
explosives to destroy the threshing
engine and this will count against
him. He seems totally incapable of
approaching the enormity OF his
offenses and thinks that his confession
entities him to discharge from
custody. .-,@e,---- l:.ss ---#2c
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1903-10-14
WOOD SHORTAGE THREAT TENS
Dealers Find Difficulty in Getting
go. Fire Wood.
AS Result Ruinous Prices are Be.
ing Charged.
Farmers Doing Very Little to Re-
lieve Situation.

New Ulm is threatened with wood
shortage which.may develop a serious
aspect before the winter is over.
Local dealers are having the hardest
possible time to buy up the fuel and
the cost to them is so great that they
are compelled to charge prices which
are almost ruinous. In view of this
they look for a big soft coal demand
and it is likely that many families will
burn bituminous during the cold
months. ......-5 49,
Wood prices this year have gone
soaring upward and one glance at the
schedule is enough to cause cold chills
of despair to go creeping up the spine
OF the bounded householder. At n.
Nagel's wood yard hard maple will
retail for the mere bagatelle of 5000
per cord and oak is but one dollar
cheaper. Bass wood will bring $500,
the price of maple and oak few years
ago, and the cheapest thing on the
market will be pine slabs, which are
listed at $3.50 per cord. Even at that,
however, there is little profit for, the
man handling the fuel, as the whole
.salers have also advanced their
figures. -.,.. So. b.
2 The great trouble, however, lies in
the inability of the dealers to get wood
at all. Thus far Mr.. Nage1 has had
but a few carloads, although he expects
more next week. He obtains his pine
slabs from the big lumber mills at
Saltwater and wood shipments are
made from Montgomery, Young
America and other points. A Winthrop
dealer who buys from practically the
same people was in the city recently
and he reports that conditions in his
town are about the same.
Farmers are doing very little to
relieve the stringency. While it is
understood that many of them have
wood to- sell, they are all behind with
their work and it will be some time
before they begin hauling to market.
For the heating stoves there promises
to be good supply of hard coal.
This is retailing at $40 per ton, a
figure which will stand indefinitely.
The assertion is made that the pro-
posed increase in freight rates will not
affect the price on the product, although
is not expected to go below $40.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1903-10-14
A CURE For DYSPEPSIA.

had dyspepsia IN its worst form and
felt miserable most of the time. Did not
enjoy eating until after l used Kodol
Dyspepsia Cure which has completely
cured me.-Mrs. w. w. Saylor, Hillard,
Pa. No appetite, loss Of strength, ner-
vousness, headache, constipation, bad
breath, sour risings, indigestion, dyspep-
STA and all stomach troubles are quickly
cured by the use of Kodol. Kodol re-
presents the natural juices of digestion
combined with the greatest known tonic
and restrictive properties. It eleanses,
purifes and sweetens the stomach. Sold
by all druggists.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1903-10-14
MILL MANAGER MADE HIT
Original Advertising Methods Of Hugo
= Roos Prove Popular.

. Hugo Roos, former New Ulm boy,
seems to have made q big hit with the
people OF Chickasha, Indian Territory,
during the time he has had the mans
agement of the Chickasha Milling
company. Early in the month"; as an
advertisement for his company, Mr..
Roos, shipped an entire train load of
-four to the eastern markets and in
speaking of his enterprise the Chick
asha Daily Express remarks glowing
ly: 49,. -. +
s'This afternoon at 4 o'clock the
first train load of flour ever sent out
of the Indian Territory will leave the
Rock Island depot on a journey to all
parts of the continent and even to
foreign shores. The train load of
flour is consigned by the Chickasha
Milling Co., to its customers in differ
ent parts of the world, and the enter
prising manager, Mr.. Hugo, Roos, has
made the event an occasion for ad-
vertising Chickasha and his company's
immense business at this point which
should be far reaching in it's result.
MIR. Roos has distributed invita-
tions all over the city inviting the
people to be present and witness the
trains departure, and no. doubt the
people will respond generously. Many
cameras and kodaks will preserve
souvenirs of this Important event, to
be preserved to future generations. -