Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1903-06-17
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She-Why do you suppose tsey have
all the telephone wires SO high In the
air? He-Oh that is SO they can keep
kers Statesman.
Tramp-"Is dis all yer kin gimme
err cupful Nv cold water?" Kind
Lady-"Of course not. You can have
as many cupfuls as you want.
cago Daily News.
Edyth- Yes, Jack is inclined to flirt
little, but his heart is in the right
place" Mayme-"1ndeed! How long
has it been in your possessionT-Chi-
cago Daily News.
rainy day race: so you lost
again?" "Of course Couldn't the
horse you bet on rum" YES; he could
run very we'll But he couldn't swim"
Washington Star.
"a number of her old flames have
combined to present her father with
fire badge" "Why?" Because of
the speed and completeness in which
he put them all out."-Judge.
Frililla-"was your dinner social
success?" Clorinda-.'Yes, indeed.
You see, was careful to invite only
people who have the same kind Of ner-
vous prostration." Brooklyn Life.
where did your daughter and her
husband spend their honeymoon. Mr..
Goldbug| "Blest IL 1 know. can't
even find out where they spent all the
money they d."-Washington Times.
HE had three days of grace left in
which to pay the note. and he moved
der why?" well. you know the days
there are six months long."-Town
Topics.
Advantage Of position: Hold on"
exclaimed the boy who was under:
lets arbitrate this thing! "There
amt nothin' to arbitrator painted the
boy on top, pummeliDg him vigorous
iy.-Chicngo Tribune.
Ready for Easter. Deacon COLDS
william, II your father should have
$40 and some one should give him S..
what would he have?" William
Nothing. But ma would have new
hat."-Chicago News.
She-"The milllner told me that she
had been down to the dentists to have
u nerve killed" He-"Well, from the
prices she asks for hats. should say
the dentist must have killed the wrong
one."-Yonkers Statesman.
"Oh, let me like soldier die!' ex-
claimed the leading man of the barn
stormers. .Oh, IL only had gunw
exclaimed some one In the gallery, In
a tone that savored of genuine SYM
pathy.-Chicago Daily News.
ITO what do you attribute the prop
critics of your springsI" asked a visitor
at health resort. WELL" answered
the proprietor. thoughtfully. II guess
the advertising I've done has had
something to do with it."-Puck. e
Automobile perils: Yes, our Black
Spook, was demolished by running
into barn. "Ihen l suppose you
had TO walk z" no, we had to run.
The farmer came after us with a pitch
fork and u bulldog Philadelphia
Record
Overwhelming evidence: Judge
"You deny perslstently that you com.
mitted the act, and yet the description
fits you exactly-a beautiful face,
youthful appearance, pretty little foot"
Woman MISUNDERSTANDING, I confess
all."-Tit-Bit
New phase of 1t: Wander goes
another specimen er de race problemy'
exclaimed Brother Dockey. .NNAers 2.
Right vanderbilt man behind del
niger is de sheriff, en- de niger /.
leadin' him by one hundred yards!'
Atlanta Constitution
$50 you are not going to Europe
again?" Not for long time" an
swered Mrs. Somrox. 1T is our In
tention to live in America, thereby
calling attention to the fact that we
can afford to pay the highest prices
for everything. Washington Star.
Mrs. Hiram Ofren-"That will do!
You'll leave on Saturday. and you
needn't bother me about recommen-
dation." Bridget-"Shure. OF hov no
intintion of givin' ye recomminda-
ton. Oill tell the truth about We to
livery CURL that axes me."-Philadel-
phia Press.
THAT first wife of mine never could
take joke" But she took you once"
Don't get personal. When she got
her divorce from Beimooilt last week
1 sent her message wishing her many
| rf t1,n nd
she refuses to even nod when we
meet."-Chicago Record Herald.
Dealer-"These are the most beautl
Is full cutglass tumblers we have; S4'
Dozen" Mrs. Housekeep-"I'll tak
them, but want you to label then
Seconds. Imitation cut-glass. s1.5O
dozen." Dealer-"Thats rather re
markable request" Mrs. Housekeep-
"Yes; it's merely to deceive the servan
girl."-Philadelphia Press.
professor. said the bad young mar
of the class 1.-The scientists ten us tn,
anthracite supply of the world will be
completely exhausted in little ovel
sixty years. What are we to do fol
fuel then?" My friend" replied the
venerable man, by that time. In al
probability, you will have gone where
the fuel supply is inexhaustible." y
Chicago Tribune.
Show Places and Their Revenues
: Under the new regulations for ad
mission, Windsor Castle will take the
. premier position among the remunera
tive show places of England. Its Wis
, itors number annually about 100000
so that the fees will swell the charlta
BILE revenues of Windsor by $4,000 Of
$4,000 year. The toll to the subter
ranean wonders of Welbeck Able!
yield steady income of $1,000, which
the Duke of Portland distributes
among the Motifs hospitals. The Duk
of Devonshire forgoes $1,000 yea
by admitting the 10000 visitors t
Chatsworth gratis.