Amador ledger., 1903-11-20
BARS TO MATRIMONY
FEAR KEEPS MANY MEN FROM THE
BLISS OF Welded LIFE.

Some Instances of n Lack of SUM-
cient Pluck to Take the FatefuI
Trip to the AItar-Various Reasons
That All Spell afraid"
There is a great deal of specula-
tion," said well known lawyer, "as
to why men are so reluctant to marry,
but one reason never seems to occur to
the spectators, and that Is that many
of them are afraid to. No, ! am not
joking. 1t is a sober and well con-
sidered statement of fact, for which 1
can adduce as many proofs as you
want, that many men would almost as
soon think of patting a fierce bull on
the head or facing the midnight bur-
glar as taking trip to the altar.
Il remember as boy an amusing
specimen of this kind of man in Iowa.
He was a farmer and was as notorious
for his amorous entanglements as for
his ingenuity in getting out of them
when marriage began to loom near.
1t was said he had been engaged
dozen times and though he left all his
fiancees in the lurch he never found
any difficulty in getting a successor.
One day my father, who was his law
yer, asked him: why don't you get
married, John? 1t isn't for want of
opportunities, you know, and it's quite
time you thought of settling down.
We'll, SIR John answered, it's this
way: You see, 1 like coorting well
enough, but 1 can nivver summon up
pluck to go any further. To tell you
the truth, I'm afeard of getting tied
for life to one of 'em.'
IF you have heard many breach of
promise suits you will have observed
that this wholesome dread of matri-
mony Is the cause of a good proportion
of them, though all the defendants
have not the courage to say so.
'Qne client of mine had allowed mat
ters to proceed right to the eve of the
wedding day, when he disappeared
mysteriously and was not discovered
for some months. The young lady
promptly sued him for damages for
breach, and at the hearing the reason
for his conduct came out He admitted
that he was fond of the girl, but sun
dry exhibitions of her temper and jeal-
ousy which he had witnessed had so
scared him that he simply hadn't the
courage to marry her. I meant to
marry her right enough he said, but
when it came to the point my courage
failed me, and 1 thought 1t safer to
bolt
''In another case in which widow
sued widower for playing her false
the defendant put in singular plea. 1t
seems that the widows family strongly
objected to the match, and as passive
opposition was useless to prevent it one
of the sons, stalwart young fellow,
called on the middle aged wooer and
told him that if he persisted in his suit
he (the SOM would give him such
thrashing as would effectually cure
him Of any further sentiment so
what could do? the defendant pathet-
1cally asked.
"The more one sees behind the scenes
the more one realizes that there is often
great deal to be said for the man who
loves and runs away. One of my clients
a few years ago found himself in an
awkward quandary. He had engaged
himself to three girls at different times
and, having Cancelled his engagements
with two, was on the eve of marrying
No. 3. No sooner was his intention
known than the two Tilted ladies threat
ened him with legal proceedings if he
persisted in his proposed marriage, and
the favored lady in turn threatened
similar fate if he didn't
Here was a dilemma, for whatever
he did would end unpleasantly. How
ever, like prudent man, he decided to
run the smaller risk. He pacified his
two former fiancees by canceling his
engagement and prepared TO face the
music of the third lady
"The mother-in-law Is often a fatal
dlsturber OF loves young dream. One
breach of promise defendant declared
that he would willingly have married
the plaintiff only he couldn't stand
her mother at any price, and the pros
pect of having his married happiness
disturbed by her interference so scared
him that he decided it was more pru-
dent to break off the engagement. while
another frail lover actually stated in
court that he was afraid to marry the
plaintiff lest she should grow up like
her mother whose tongue and tenn
per- had shown him some of the less
desirable possibilities of married life
I l..
seems to have had a constitutional
dread of matrimony. He had been en-
gagged to the plaintiff no less than nine
years. Four times the wedding day
had been fixed, and as many times it
was adjourned by his wish. Finally
he cried off altogether, and in court he
declared that, although he loved the
girl, he felt he could never screw up
the courage to marry her. When he
was asked the reason for his diffidence
he said that he had seen so much Of
the unhappy side Of married life and
the difference between wooing and
wedding that he didn't feel equal to
running the risk.
"These are but rev from scores Of
similar cases which have come within
my own knowledge. One man feared
to face matrimony on account Of his
fancee's extravaganza, another quaint
ly confessed a horror of his wifes
cooking and domestic gifts generally,
n third defendant was afraid to wed
because a distant relative of his lady
love had died in an asylum, and so on.
But, whatever the cause, you may take