The San Francisco call., 1903-12-12

Lord Godolphin Osborne, Duke of
Westminster, London, England" was
the legend penciled on scrap of paper
and passed up to Police Judge Fritz
yesterday, morning by a tall and seedy
looking man who stood accused of va
grancy
What's this?" inquired the court, al
ternately scanning the document and
its author,
Me rale name an toitie." was the
laeonic answer.
Pardon me, your lordship, for fail
ing to notice your distinction at first
glance" said the court. apologetically,
''but YOU must concede that you do
not lcok the part Besides. you are
registered on the docket here as plain
Edward Horn. How did that come to
pass?''
"A stoopid blundther on the pawt Nv
wan Nv yer consthabulary, doan't We
knaow," explained the prisoner, in
dialect that savored of a cross between
''coster" English and Dublin brogue
f'Ycur card here. suggested the
Judge, "pronounces you an Eiglshman,
while your accent proclairns you a ma
tive Of the Emerald Isle. May 1 ask
how that comes to be?"
I'm me early youth Oh wur thrans-
ported from me pawlace in England to
me cawstle in Oireland; there 1 grew
up wild me tinantry and acquired their
accint."
"Ah, ] see. And now, my lord-or
shall 1 say your grace, in recognition
of the ducal part of your double bar
relied title?"
"Ayether will do" was the magnani-
nous concession.
We'll, your grace. may 1 inquire as
to how YOU came to be arrested and
charged with vagrancy?"
"A bobbys mistaike-that's all. Ye
hev no roight to punish me, ye knoaw."
The charge has been pretty clearly
proved, while your defense is extreme
ly inadequate At the risk of starting
an international complication I must
send you to jail
But We cawn't"-
For sixty days.
The defendant gasped, glared incred-
ulously at the bench, opened his lips
as if to voice protest, but apparently
underwent a sudden change of mind.
for he bowed with courtly grace and
said:
Much obloiged."
You're entirely welcome" responded
the Judge. bowling in return.
But Ord have ye to understand,
shouted the defendant, as the bailin
grasped his arm, that this is an out
rage for which yen suffer. Ye cawn't
sind me to Jail Iaegelly, nor can We keep
me there afther yeve sint me-"
Bring him back here" said the
Judge to the bailiff.
When the order was complied with,
and the tall figure of the claimant TO
one of the proudest titles in the British
peerage stood again at the bar, the
Judge addressed him as follows:
Edward Horn, alias Lord Godolphin
Osborne, Duke of Westminster, the
duty devolves upon me of Furnishing
you for wilIful contempt of this court.
l sentenced you to sixty days impris-
onment because I thought you might
prefer the holiday fare at the County
Jail to the incertitude and inevitable
hardships attendant upon begging
nickels and dimes from plain Ameri-
can citizens imbued with the holiday
spirit of giving But, instead Of appre-
ciating my motive and relishing your
sentence, you loudly and impudently
accuse me of exceeding the authority
vested in me to punish you as va
grant. SO now, without ignoring the
possibility of my action embroiling two
great nations in sanguinary conflict.
must increase your sentence to six
months"
His Grace appeared to be dazed to
dumbness as he was led away.
Tinnothv Nvnan also hreathed de-