davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-10-16

A man who imagines that he can
rum the domestic end Of the combiue
better than his wife does Is fool mnn.,
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-10-16

as much as one with a little glue on
each side OF every dollar.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-10-16
travelling Ba'

Travelling baths on o ,s
sian railways are Tue
for it's employees comf0r
ing districts.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-10-16
Snch a Fooiiahness.

mabel is disguised with billiards"
'.'Sog'
"Yes. Jack wasted a whole hour
last night teaching her how to make
the balls kiss Baltimore News.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-10-16

Wise Is the man who can recall
previous engagement when re receives
= disagreeable Invitation
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-10-16

Don't shoot the Holsteins. They are
doing the best they can.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-10-16

Perhaps we may have to dig the
canal first and ask permission Of Co
lombia afterward.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-10-16

The pension rolls have passed the
great divide 1t will be a gradual de-
scent from now on to the end.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-10-16

The Macedonian life insurance COM
panies must feel like fried egg.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-10-16
Between Friends.

vivian-Do you like her new hat?
Viola-No; it's perfectly lovely
Judge.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1903-10-16

The Mexican of average size wears a
No. q boot
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19
NAPOLEON'S LAST BATTLE.
Woman StiII Living who Saw the
Great General Leave the Field
of Waterloo.

LIE Gaulois gives an interesting ac-
count of a conversation with one of
the very few surviving spectators of
the battle of Waterloo, a widow
named Givron, the Tooth anniversary
of whose birth is about to be celebra-
ted in the little village of Viesville,
Hainault. She relates that on the
morning of the day of the great bat
tie she ran away from her parents
and made her way through the
woods, being curious to see what was
going on. She was close to Hougo-
mont when the place was attacked
by the French troops, and remained
in hiding for hours, not daring to
move. The cannonade having dimin-
ished, she ventured toward the farm,
but fled horror stricken at the sight,
the ground, as she expressed it, being
red mud, so drenched was it with
blood. She ran across the fields and
reached the Bois de Plancenoit, where
she fell asleep, worn out by fatigue
and excitement. At dusk she was
awakened by the noise of horses
hoofs, and saw a troop of cavalry,
headed by a man of short stature
mounted on a curvetting gray horse.
He was riding slowly on, as if in
dream, looking straight ahead and
paying no heed to what went on
about him. The girl learned on the
same evening from her relatives,
when she finally reached home, that
the rider was Napoleon. Mime. Givron
is remarkably active, and is partic-
ularly proud of her eyesight, which,
she declares, is as good as it was rs
years ago. When her daughter, Mar
celine, who, as she says, is only 10,
sits down to sew, her mother threads
her needles for her. The old woman
had seven children and her descend
ants number 92.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19

deliberation. 81 have decided to en-
JOY your company for an indefinite
period. You are to take Il we'll
earned vacation at the expense and
under the management of your hum
bic servant, the owner of the ocean
going steam yacht, the Shark"
"What mad jest is this, Walter!"
exclaimed Sidney Hammond, as he
advanced in half-threatening man.
ner towards Hestor. Capt. Waters
also stepped forward. Mr.. Morton
and his associates were speechless in
amazement. Put the boat about at
once, and do not mar by your ill
timed jokes, an occasion which has
been so thoroughly enjoyed by all
your guests" Hammond's eyes
flashed in anger.
This is no merry jest or joke"
said Hestor, who though slightly
pale, was cool and collected I'VE
are not going back to New York to-
night nor for many days to come.
have determined to ascertain whether
or not the universe will continue to
run without the aid of you gentle
men, and have adopted this pleasant
method of making the test. OF
course there are bound to be some
trifiing annoyances and some worry
occasloned, but with your aid these
can be reduced to minimum
With the exception of Mr.. Kent,
the guests had arisen from their
chairs. Their faces were a study for
artist Mr. pnalyX,a1
rage, and nervously grasped a heavy
decanter, as if to use it as weapon.
IF you are in earnest. this is an
outrage for which you shall suffer-"
he shouted in voice hoarse with
passion. He dropped the decanter in
his excitement and it smashed in
fragments on the floor. "If you are
sane, this is a crime. If it is a joke,
it is an intolerable outrage. If you
are crazy, you should be taken care
of by your friends. l am sure" he
continued, lowering his voice and
speaking with more calmness, "that
Capt. Waters and his crew will pay
no attention to your orders. Surely
he will not detain gentlemen of our
standing against our will"
Mr.. Kent arose deliberately and
paced up and down the dining-room,
smoking his cigar with the air of a
spectator who was but slightly inter
ested in the matter at issue. Mr..
Pence was in an agony of terror.
'This is awful" he groaned. "Speak
to him, Mr.. Carmody. Speak to the
captain!"
ITO Be Continued1
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19
GERMAN MARRIAGE BLUNDERs
Two Good Stories of Embarrassing
Mistakes Made by
Pastors.

II appears that pastors as well as
registrars in Germany get confused
over their matrimonial business,
says the London Telegraph. 4 few
weeks ago one of the latter, at Neu
Ruppin, near Berlin, stamped the
certificate of marriage with the
words free from trichinosis," as he
happened to be an official for exam
ming meat as wen. Now this anec-
dote can be capped by the following,
in which a pastor plays the part of
the muddler: \ young widower of
Singlingen, near Niesbaden, was
about To enter upon wedlock for a
second time, and the arrangements
were all complete for a nuptial cere-
m0ny at lleddernheim for recent
Sunday, Suddenly, the day before
the wedding, a messenger came from
the reverend gentleman TO the bud
ding bridegroom 90 say that the sery-
Ice must be postponed for three
weeks, as, In publishing the bans he
had given out the name of the
mother-in-law instead of the intended
bride. Persuasion was of uo avgil.
The only alternative for the bride
groom was tn marry the mathrr-in-
law II be insisted uu the nuptial eerr-
mouy taking place un the day orig
iuullY hNrds aud, as neither hc nor
his hnhurre WAS disposed tn accept
this solution. thc pair have e. wait
the prescribed time of another three
week..
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19
Copyright, 1901, by Lothrop Publishing Company.
All rights reserved.
CHAPTER X.-CONTINUED.

CHAPTER X.-CoNTINUED.
''Naouw that think on it," he said,
"yer friend Mister Hestor was er
mighty fine singer. He ulster sing er
song erbout an ole geezer that had
er wooden leg and was always hard
up for terbaccer / don't rightly re-
member the words, but they was
thrillin,' and Mister Hestor ulster sing
EN- and dance at ther same time. He
was singer EN- one time in NOrleans,
an he fell out through ther passage
way an went kerplunk inter the Mis-
sissip'. Haw, haw, haw, ha! l thought
1 would die a-laughin.' He didn't
care n cash ding. He swum round er
while and then we pulled him out.
Mighty lively feller; that Hestor.
He just didn't care nOthin' at all err
bout money. When we was a loadin'
the lumber for that air house of
his'n, he would stan araound erbaout
ther schooner and raise Cain with
1her dock wallopers, and he gin each
one on 'em ten dollars apiece ter
drink his good health. They didn't
show up ergain fer er week. lister
hire all ther niggers ter sing an
dance fer him, an thar war so many
of them cavoorting along the levee,
that it looked like nigger minstrel
convention. Mister Hestor would sit
on the bridge of the Shark and
throw money at 'em. He sent one
niger over to place with a $40
bill to get broke, SO he could hev
more coins ter throw, an the blamed
-darkey never did come back. Mister
Hestor thought that a big joke.
Mighty easy man ter get along with,
that Mister Hestor. But he was pc
culiar-mighty peculiar"
The drowsy Bender was aroused,
and bidding Capt. Parker good night
they retired. In spite of the fact
that they had slept all day, it was
six o'clock the following morning be-
fore they tumbled out of their hunks
and appeared on deck. The sky was
overcast and the wind had whipped
into the southeast and was blowing
half a gale. Capt. Parker was roaring
orders TO the sailors, who were
clawing at the canvas and half reef
ing the sails. The big topsails had
vanished. The foam-capped waves
dashed spitefully against the port
side of the schooner, and scattered
spray across the piles of lumber.
There was the feel of rain in the air.
To the north, the smoke of liner
was just discernible through the
thickening mist.
NASTY weather." said Mr., Seymour
as the captain approached.
"lts going TO blow eats and dogs"
said that gentleman.
lie was a good weather prophet.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19
GEOGRAPHICAL ROMANCE.

Young Phil Adelphia fell in love
With pretty Mary Land,
He schemed and thought till almost ILL.,.
How he might win her hand.
I'D better be about it now,
Soon as / Kan.," said he,
1'Or else my rival. Louis Vile,
May get ahead of Me"
HE went at once to see his Miss,
An ardent call to Pa.
As he approached he saw her as
She in a hammock La
Said he: Come, take walk" Said she:
'All right but wait mite
Till my New Jersey l can get,
1t may turn cool tonight"
They had not wandered very far
When Phil, with might and Maine,
Began to urge her to accept
Him as her loving swain.
'I'm not religiously inclined,
Nor do l go to Mass"
Said he But sure as truth is truth,
There is no other lass
For whom l care Ten. cent piece.
Not even Ida Ho,
Whose father owns the biggest farm
This side of Buffalo"
~'Alas!" said she, what shall I say?
/ never learned to Wash,
Nor clean the house, nor Mo the lawn.
Nor even cook a squash.
The China I'd be sure to break,
The Turkey 1 should burn,
And Greece I'd spill. or some mishap
Occur at every turn;
And all the things I'd try to cook
From daylight until dark
Would be so tough you'd think that they
Had come out of the Ark"
Phil. laughed a laugh most blithe and
Ga,
Pacific was his mood
And said you are Superior
To all girls ever wooed.
Come a New Haven let us seek,
Where we may dwell for aye
In peace and Concord all our lives,
Forever and a day
She gave consent, and they We're wed,
For a New Port set SAIL
Where they arrived, when safely they
Had weathered every gale.
The joy was great in that most blest
OF all United States,
The state of matrimony. Who
Could find such loving mates?
Ralph Hewett Dumont, in What-to-Eat.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19
Pennsylvania
n RAILROAD.
PHILADELPHIA AND ERIE RAIL RoAI
DIVISION

PHILADELPHIA AND ERIE RAIL Road
DIVISION.
TRAINS Leave II Effect Gnr4yRGS msy # 1902 EASTWARD
16 A. M.--Week days for Sunbury
Wilkesbarre, Scranton, Hazleton, Pottsville,
Harrisburg and intermediate stations arriving
at Philadelp lia 6.23 P. M, New York $50 p. M.
Baltimore 90 p. M, Washington 7.15 p. NJ. .
Pullman Parlor car from Williamsport to
Philadelphia and passengercoaches es from Kane
to Philadelphia and Williamsport to Balti-
more and Washington.
l225 p. NJ. (Emporium Junction. daily for Sum
bury, Harrisburg and principal intermediate
stations, arriving at Philadelphia, 1882 p. m.
New York. 1923 D. m. Baltimore, 1880 p. III. ;.
Washington, S:35, D. m. Vestbuled Parlor
cars and passenger coaches, Buffalo to Phila-
delphia and Washington.
3 90 P, M.-daily for Harrisburg and
intermediate stations arriving at Philadel-
ghia; gRai,;ua.2 AS a. NJ, New r York 7Is A. N.
Pullman sleeping cars fr ON Harrsburgto Phil
adelphia and New York. Philadelphia pas
sengerscan remainin sleeper undisturbed un-
Q 25 p. M.-Daily for sunbury, Harris.
burg and intermediate stations arriving at
Philadelphia 7.22 A. NJ, New York 933 A. NJ,
weekdays, Q0.33 A. NJ. Sunday;) Baltimore 715
A. NJ, Washington $40 A. NJ. Pullman sleep
ing cars from Erie, Buffalo and Williamsport to
Philadelphia and Buffalo, Wil'iamsport to
Washington. Passenger cars from Erie to
Philadelphia and Williamsport to Baltimore
1901 A. NJ. (Emporiuh. Junction., daily for Sun
bury, Harrisburg and principal Intermediate
stations, arriving at Philadelphia, 1922 a.. M.
New York, 9:33 a. m, week days; (lo:33 Sun
days; Baltimore, 7:15 a. m; Washington, $3.50
a. M. Vestibuled Buffet Sleeping Cars and
Passenger coaches, Buffalo to Philadelphia
and Washington.
WESTWARD.
BIO A. M.-Emporum Junction daily
foi Erie, Ridgway, and week days for Du-
Bois, Clermont and intermediate stations.
10 80 A M. Daily for Erie and week days
for Dubois andi Intermediate stations.
q 23 P. NJ. Week days tor Kane and
intermediate stations.
RIDGwAY AND CLEARFIELD R. R. CON-
NECTIONS.
Week days)
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19
you ARE NOT GOING HOME To-
NIGHT, GENTLEMEN" SAID
HESTOR.

eXhilarated. Sidney gave him re-
proving look, and received "A non
cimmittal grin in response. q
1t was growing dusk as the eight
men seated themselves in the coy
dining-room of the shark"
The dinner was an excellent one and
any host might well have been proud
of it.
The dinner ended, and coffee was
followed by cigars. Mr.. Morton
looked at his watch
ut is half past eight o'clock" he
said, in some surprise. You must get
back before eleven O'clock" he added,
addressing MIR. Hestor, "That will
give us plenty of time to discuss
the matter which is the real object
Of this most enjoyable trip. Which
way are we headed now?"
Mr., Morton looked over his should
er To the starboard. The lights Of
Seabright twinkled family over some
I2 miles of waters.
I'VE are headed about for Spain,
I should say" said Hestor with
an uneasy laugh.
II must be home before N o'clock. 4"
declared Mr., Pence, My folks will
be worried to death" Mr. Pence
seemed much annoyed aud disturbed.
THAT ia later than had calculated
to remain OUT said Mr. Carmody.
You will have to give us that ss
knots un hour la order % get us back
in Time"
Capt Waters stood Ia the door
was. hia farm showing clear against
che muuulit sky
"hou are NOT roing homo tonight,
srHf. ."a.u. HaII iieatur with stuIled
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19

services of the grinning and dex-
ferrous Bob" How fast is she?"
''In an emergency we can drive
her % knots an hour" said Mr.. Hes
tor. He looked at a guage. "We
are now running about eighteen
knots, but ] told Capt. Waters we
were in no hurry. She, runs very
smooth at IS knots. Don't you think
SOP"
Smooth as a watch" said Mr..
Kent. you have fine crew, Mr..
Hestor. They seem to be under ex-
cellent discipline. You must intro
duce us to Capt. Waters. He ap-
pears to be the ideal of a marine
officer"
You shall meet him." replied Hes
tor with a queer sort of smile. f'He
is the best captain that ever paced
a bridge. Capt. Waters has been in
the employ of our family for thirty
years. He served with my father in
the Asiatic trade, and the map of
the world is as familiar to him as
is your office furniture to you. He is
accustomed to obey orders, and to
have them obeyed. He asks no ques-
tions and will answer none, once he
has obtained his orders. Did you
notice anything peculiar about the
crew."
You seem to have them under
the discipline of the United States
navy" said Mr.. Pence. Il started to
go on the bridge while you gentle
men were looking at the crews quar-
ters, and one of the men placed him
self squarely in my way and stopped
me. He was polite, but decisive. He
said it was against orders"
Every man on this boat, except
Capt. Waters" explained Hestor, sis
an eX-member of the United States
or British navy. They would not be
content except under naval discipline.
They are schoolcd to it. They re-
gard Capt. Waters, their commander,
as the greatest man on earth. They
respect me only because Capt. Wa
ters has informed them that I am
the owner. But if Capt. Waters told
them to put me in irons they would
not hesitate for a moment to do it.
If he gave the word they would
cheerfully sail up the Thames and
lombard the Houses of Parliament"
Mr.. Pence glanced nervously at
stalwart marine who paced slowly
and regularly back and forth on the
after deck.
Bob" exclaimed Mr.. Hestor, ego
and ask the steward when dinner
will be ready. Sidney. there, looks
as if he could eat bird and not
know it,
81 will confess that I am hungry"
said Mr.. Hammond. This sea air is
a great appetizer"
'You need not worry, Sidney, there
will be plenty" Mr.. Hestor replied.
eve have provisions on board to
last for two months if necessary"
Again he smiled in queer sort of
way, and astounded the company by
suddenly retiring to the corner of
the saloon, where he performed with
much agility a song and dance to
the words:
There was an old geezer and he had a
wooden leg;
He had no tobacco, no tobacco could he
beg;
Another old geezer was as cunning as a
fox,
And he always had tobacco in his old
tobacco box.
(Clog.)
Yes, he always had tobacco IN his old
tobacco box"
Hestor terminated his song with
wild "break down" which was hard
ly completed before Bob returned
with word that dinner was ready.
THAT is an accomplishment L did
not know you possessed" said Mr..
Rockwell with an air of mingled
amusement and disgust.
81 certainly am a mad wag," said
Mr.. Hestor, who seemed strangely
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19
CHAPTER XI.
spRINGING rms TRAp.

Walter Il, Hestor explained the de-
tails ~ the proposed newspaper
trust 10 Mr.. Palmer j. Morton on
Monday, April "a, as has been mar
rated. lie awaited word from the
great iinancier with some impatlcnce,
and was delighted, the following Fri
day, e. receive q note from NJ. Nor
ton, stating that he would bee glad
60 see him al four o'clock Chat after.
noon. He.tor was there puurtuaIly
II have briefly explained your
project "a Aadrus Carmody. John N.
Rockwell, simon Pence and a. j.
heut. Ha.H NE N.HaH. without
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19

carry passengers. Tains and 10 do.
Trains run on Eastern Standard Time.
Connections-At Ulysses with Fall Brook R'y
for points north and south. At B. & s. juno
ton with Buffalo & SusquehannaR. r. north for
Welsville, south for Galeton and Ansonia. At
Port Allegany with w. N. Y.& p. r. r., north
for Buffalo, Olean, Bradford and Smethport;
south for Keating Summit, Austin, Emporium
and Penn'a r. r., points.
b. A, MCCLURE GenlSupt.
Coudersport, Pa.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19

Note-Train l07 on Sundays will make all stop.
between Red Bank and Dubois.
*Daily. fDaily except Sunday. sunday only.
tFlag Stop.
For Time Tables and further information, ap-
ply TO Ticket Agent.
J. b. HUTCHINSON, j. r. WOOD, ,Agt.
General Manager. Gen'l Passenger
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19

+. ID. LEET.
ATTORNEY-AT-LAw and INSURANCE AG'T.
EMPORIUM, PA
To LAND Owners AND OTHERS IN CAMERON AND
ADJOINING COUNTIES.
have numerous calls for hemock and hard-
wood timber lands also stunt ge &c, and parties
desiring either to buy sell will do well to call
on me. -. atF stE w. +, ID. LEET.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19

AMERICAN HOUSE,
East Emporium, Pa
JOHN L. JOHNSON Prop'r.
Having resumed proprietorship of this old and
well established House invite the patronage OF
the public. House newly furnished and thor
Oughly renovated. 4sly
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19

THOMAS wADDINGTON,
Emporium, Pa,
CONTRACTOR FOR MASONRY AND
STONE-CUTTING.
All orders in my line promptly executed. All
kinds of building and cut-stone, supplied at low
prices Agent for marble or granite monuments.
Lettering neatly done,-
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19
Business Cards.

B. w. GREEN,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW,
Emporium, Pa.
busnessr elating to estate, collections, real
estates, Orphans Court and generallaw business
willreceive promp ptattention. 42-ly.
]. c. JOHNSON. J.P. MCNAREET
JOHNSON g. AICNARNEY,
-AT-LAwl
EMPoRIUd, PA.
Will give prompt attention to all business en-:
rusted to them. I6-ly.
MICHAEL BRENNAN,
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW
Collections promptly attended to- Real estats
and pension claim agent,
35-Iy. Emporium, Pa.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19

THE NOVELTY RESTAURANT,
Opposite Post Othce,)
Emporium, Pa.
WILLIAM MCDONALD, Proprietor.
take pleasure in informing the public that
have purchased the old and popular Novelty
Restaurant, located on Fourth street. II viii be
my endeavor 70 serve the public in manner
that shall meet with their appreciation. Give me-
a call. Meals and luncheon served at all hours.
uo27-Iyr VIM. MCDONALD.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1903-02-19

ST. CHARLES HOTEL,
THOs. } LYSEff, PROPRIETOR
Near Buffalo Depot. Emporium, Pa.
This new and eommodious hotel Is now opened
forthe accommodation ct the public. New IN al
usappointmeuts, every attention will be paidto
the guests patroulHng this notel. 2fl1iy
MAY GOULD,
TEACHER OF
PIANO, HARMONY AND THEORY
Also dealer lea all the Popular sheet Autic,
Emporium Pa
scholars taught either at my home ON sixth
street oF at tht homes nf the pupils. out oltuwn
scholars will be given datesat ny founlsln thia
place.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1903-08-30
The Wisconsin Central Line
SPECIAL ROUND TRIP RATES

Between June 4th and August 26th,
the Illinois Central will sell round trip
tickets from Oregon and Washington
points to Chicago Cairo, Memphis, and
New Orleans at Greatly reduced rates
Tickets good for three months. Going
limit 10 days. Returning limit 10 days
after starting west, Stop over privl-
liges either way, west Of the Missouri
river. Sale dates are arranged to be
convenient for delegates to conventions
OF National Educational association at
2oston; Elks at Baltimore: Woodmen
At Indianapolis: Eagles at New York;
Shriners at Saratoga; Knights of Pyth-
las at Louisville and Commercial Trav-
elers at Indianapolis. You can take
your choice Of 16 different routes.
Write US. We will cheerfully give you
any detailed information you want. Z.
H.TRUMPULL, Commercial agent, li2
Third street, Portland Ore.