Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1903-12-11


good faith and finishing one of them
he began to speculate on the idiosyn-
crasies of the chief of the Palladium.
"What in thunder does he want With
Christmas story in August. with De-
cember over three months away? If
he'd said Thanksgiving it would be
more like it, and then could work a
Christmas story on him later.
'Humph! He's going to the noun
tains to cool OFF, Much pleasanter
place to pursue the paths of magazine
editing than the dingy, dinky quarters
of the Palladium. But I'll
MMSO fix him. OF course he
wants a story from my
!. !: !. ! |;
s,lkzzzsszz1 pen, only he's too stingy Of
~ courtesy to say so.
fEea ITO the mountains to
keep cool and wants to read
\ about Christmas sleigh
rides and snowdrifts, ice
boats and chill wintry
E'~@ blasts blowing through old
II Santa's whiskers. This is
H. fighting dog days with the
K mind cure. But his nobs III
Ewzn1 not get mental ice bath
Hs from me this trip. I'll put
N him into mental oven in
|VVSza stead and roast the noun
I ~ tain GOODNESS out of him."
N~x So Dalliance wrote in
n mW spirit of vindictiveness and
N pushed his pen as he never
Va pushed it for the prospec-
"rm going tive publishers check. He
to keep laid the scene Of his story
COOL in farmers kitchen in
the middle west. All the family, three
generations wide, rallied in the little
farmhouse to gorge on grandma's
Christmas goodies. The weather clerk
lost his reckoning, and it was a green,
sticky Christmas. Moreover, the au-
thor piled on the agony with roaring
hickory fire, baking, roasting, stewing
half dozen women and girls packed
in the fiery kitchen, lost to all discom-
fort so the feast was done on time
and eaten piping hot. Grandpa said,
"'Twun't be no C'ris'mus 'thout the
ole fireplace a-humpin'v And SO there
was a roaring furnace in the dining
room, where the overgrown crowd was
packed in to dispose Of hot bean soup,
hot turkey, hot baked potatoes, hot tur~
nips, hot apple sauce, hot plum pud-
ding, hot mince pie and hot coffee.
1t was 100 in the shade in balances
city den while he wrote, as well as in
the picture he drew, and he was ex-
hausted from the effect Of his own
medicine when the sketch was finished.
But this was a tr1fie so long as he
could parboil the editor of the Pal
ladium. For week he lived over the,
details Of his joke, sweltering as one
can In dog days with flames, heat
waves and sissing things before the
minds eye. {
Certain Of the success of his scheme
and the usual gilt edged check, for the
Palladium. was a liberal
paymaster, he decided to MGRM
blow himself in advance A&
by way Of cooling his over
heated blood. He haunted @t-ll
the beach and the roof gar 1O1|tufTl
dens. and, having gorged lT<4
his stomach with ice water .HxSH.K
while concocting the red &4
hot story, he found it nec- -
essary to introduce more ~
palatable liquids. and these l r
cost good money. Every sflf3
night, or, rather, early !5s8lF3
morning, he happene d
around to see If the mail ,S
had landed his check and,
not finding it, lived the ~
story over again, as he
thought the editor would 1<.l
find It In his mountain 1
haven. It even delighted M
him to believe that his VIC 0lO
tim was having good It WAS 100
long roast. These frequent in the
lrehearsals produced the in snaoe'
evitable result of more thirst, more ice
water, more staleness Of the palate and
desire for liquid that would take hold
Then at length he got his manuscript
back with a curt note saying:
My Dear Sir-In tho same mail with
your manuscript came note from my as
BkSldAk ~ l14O cAAVCI IAAaS q I'LL ASSAAAeS
story bought last year and somehow mis-
laid in the Palladium office has turned
up. OF course we must use that, SO am
compelled to deny myself tho personal
pleasure it would afford me to read your
manuscript in order to return it in time
for you to seek a purchaser elsewhere.
sThank you just the same for submitting
it. g THE EDITOR.
Poor Dallfance hadn't even the usual
satisfaction Of cursing the numskull
autocrat for not knowing a good thing
when he saw it.
Florence Isn't Kicking.
FlorenceWhat do you think? Hor-
ace never once kissed me under the
mistletoe! i
: Dolly-Wasn't that a shame?
: Florence Hardly You see, he kissed
me beneath my nose.