The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-09-23
Casually observed.

"spanking machine now. in uses!a the
state training school at Red, Wing, MINI. =
A spanking machine may do the business
In a dull, mechanical way, but for posi-
tive genius we recall with some emo
ton the brilliant work done by mother in
conjunction with the hair brush, in which
We played supporting part.
An eastern playwright has written ga
little thing in three acts in which "the
heavy villain is a lady"
Scoundreless," Kissed the heroine thru
her clenched teeth, you have robbed
me of meh husband, meh home, meh
che-ild!!''
Mrs. Nation explains her promised APP
pearance on the stage as follows:
I'm going in for drama, now. I'm go
ing to have company of my own.
'Hatchetation is the name Of the play. I
wrote it myself. The stage setting will
be a saloon in Kansas City. I'll be the
smasher. all right, just plain Carrie Ma
ton, dressed just as am now"
Mrs. Nation explains that there will be
a love motive as well as prohibition mo-
tive in the play. A great many drinking
men will freely give up soc for the priv
-ilege of witnessing these painful scenes.
= .'5E Et7' s- .--5 49,.
A little church in the east has adver-
tised for minister willing to begin for
nominal salary, s4O0 or $500, and probably
a parsonage, with good, clear head, q
warm, loving heart and big feet, well
planted on the solid ground of common
sense My goodness. a man. with this
equipment would easily draw $4,000 of
any sensible churchs money.
If Lieutenant Peary once reaches the
pole he will have the glorious sport Of
coming back again. That would indeed
repay man for much suffering and ex-
posture.
Several country editors in Nebraska are
owning their own automobiles. "Old Sub
scriber'' has at last paid up.
George Stuart, an Adventist of Wolcott,
Kan, is dead at the ripe age of 90. Mr..
Stuart's chief pleasure in life was in pre-
dieting the end Of the world. He had so
much confidence in his figures that he
several times climbed tall poplar tree
near his home and there awaited the final
smash. In spite Of such succession of
alarms. Mr.. Stuart seems to have lived
a pretty even life and to have died in
great peace. And here's the old world
still footballing along in the most sturdy
fashion.
The young king of Spain is said to re-
Philippine islands as in the nature Of a
gold brick transaction. While there may
be something in this view, the anxious
farmer does not as rule have to get
the smooth villain down and pound him
to make him give up his yellow brick in
return for the cash. ~. -
A Detroit, Mich, man, and an old man
too. has invented and has had patented
what has been called and is called "me-
chanical jackass.' The devilish purpose
Of this device is to make the most horri-
BILE noises imaginable at .'charivaris'' OF
on other occasions where fun makers are
anxious to create much disturbance in g
limited time. One may describe it as a
combination Of two whistles, a tin horn
with a reed pipe inside of it, and a double
fiat circular tin diaphragm. It is worked
by sort of piston pump, the handle OF
which is jerked in one hand while the
instrument itself is held in the other, and
the mixture Of shrek and below that
it sends forth is too horrible for words
Originally it was intended for a fog alarm,
but it seems to have been put sto other
and less valuable use. To Think of max
ing this terrible instrument emit it's note
Of welcome as the newly married pair is
just beginning the simple home life is
too shocking to contemplate.
A case in point comes from Utica, N. Y.
where a bride, who resented the insult al
a charivari party, has been held to the
grand jury. on a charge Of assault. The
accused woman and her husband had re-
turned from their honeymoon to be wei.
coined by a gang which proceeded tc
make night hideous by the toot of the
horn, the groan of the horse fiddle, the
beating of tin pans and by alleged funny
songs. The bride opened a window an6
deluged the crowd with a generous ap.
plication of boiling water. The charivar
party was broken up and next day the
bride was arrested on a charge of assault
The charge was preferred by a young mar
In the party who was SO badly scalde6