The Irish standard., 1903-07-18

the penitent-form, unless we have
done wrong. But we often long to
fling ourselves down before God in
special humility, when we are not
conscious of SIM" For myself, al
ways wanted to so TO the penitent-form
when was living closest to God, and
my longing for such confession of sin
was Il great trial to my Army friends.
I'm best when I'm sorry!" used to
say. Its almost worth while to be
Il poor sinner; to come to God in q
sorry heap and be forgotten" In
deed, truly devout Salvationists could
hardly live save for the meetings in
which they may voice their "exper-
icnces' and all their imperfections. No
doubt the possession of an honest
abiding sorrow for SIM" on the part
OF people who are taught, as l was,
that admission of a sense of sin after
one has obtained the second blessing
is dishonoring to God accounts for the
melancholy tone so often taken by
those experiences among Methodists.
Getting the second blessing with
most English Salvationists, the Gen.
eral among them, means no more than
! striving to follow counsels Of perfec-
ton with a consequent deepening of
ones sorrow for sin, though the in
fuences of American religious emo
tionalism have, in this country, pro-
duced far more dangerous tendency
, in holiness teaching.
All these ideas voiced with the
utmost frankness to Mr.. Bramwell
Booth, his wife, and Commissioners
Railton and Corleton, who We're my
! close friends.
"But 1 never took you seriously"
protested Mr.. Booth, when 1 reminded
him of these talks after my CONVEX
sion. He could hardly have shown
more clearly how Salvationists regard
the most sacred dogmas as pure mat
tiers Of speculation. They were never
! such to me. In 1895 was set to
work, among waif and stray boys in
London, and, later on in the year,
given charge of the Auxiliary League
of non-Salvationists who support the
Army by money and influence. This
involved much speaking from Protest
ant pulpits of all denominations, an
intercourse with Protestants which
only deepened my love for the Army.
In March, 1896, at the time of Mr..
Ballington Booths quarrel with his
father, which threatened the complete
disruption Of the Army in America,
was sent hurriedly to New York, to
do what 1 could to uphold the prin-
ciples of the Salvation Army-of in
ternationalism, Of unity in faith (D,
of surrender of individualism for the
sake of union in Spirit-guided body.
But Providence willed it otherwise for
me. Just at the critical moment of
my mission to what 1 had believed
to he Spirit-guided body, 1 was
summoned to my mothers deathbed,
where l was obliged to watch for
period of five weeks, during which
my mind was distracted from interna-
tional schemes for averting the dis
ruption then threatening the Army.
Besides, my bewildered spirit could
not help eXclaiming as l watched the
sufferer visibly nearing her end, 'she
is dying like Catholic s;rint, not like
Il Salvatiunist." The cUrst:;'t Hrs of
contrition, the perpetual ejaculatory
prayers-"M Mercy, my Father! My
Jesus, mercy!'-the steady disclaim-
ing all personal merit and the longing
for strong autlori ed ard sil;. ;s she
regarded my Own and that of 10y Sal
vationfst brothcr-in-law were all so
Catholic. And rejoice to-day to re-
call that from many Salvationist
deatlrbeds the delusion Of ''sanctiiica-
tom seems to pass. Mrs. General
Booth herself begged us to sing, be-
side hers, song tabooed in Army
meetings
''The mistakes of my life have been
many,
The sins of my heart have been more"
My mother was the sweetest and
most instinctively Catholic soul 1
have ever known. She had never en-
tered a Catholic church, nor read a
Catholic book. But she spent hours
each day in prayer, and had to be
held back, like st. Elizabeth, from
stripping her wardrobe for the poor.
She always prayed for her dear dead.
She said once, hearing my sister de-
claim against a crucifix Of mine, II
do mot understand how Lily can speak
so. 1t can only help US to see repre-
sensations of our Lord on the Cross.
1 should like one in every room in
my house" After her death prayed
for her still, spoke to her in God,
not knowing how verged on Catholic
doctrine in so doing. And week af'
ter she went away from us, longing
to "come close to our Lord" as put
it, in Holy Communion, woke in my
heart, and was never soothed until He
came to me one stormy morning OF
last March, in the pro- Cathedral al
LIVERPOOL,