Arizona republican., 1903-10-04
Little James

GA Subject upon which the Attention of the People of Phoenix has Been Recently Riveted.)
 Jist as tn People of Fenix was gittin their minds sentered on tn Trubble ats a goin' on in tn Balkans, and was Preparin' to Reitrate at they wasn't no other Civilized an God Fearin' people on Firth but us Amerry- cans, tn Milk Queschun was sprung onto 'em an they lernt t tn Milkmens was a putin some Forrin elemunce into tn milk to keep it Ever Young an Fair. That's why they is Diffrunt fun tn Distillers what puts some thin into their Produx to give 1t Age an Whiskers.
 When tn Fokes found out at tn Milkmens had been compellin' their Milk to Vilate tn Seventh Comman- ment they sez: Hole on. We'll jist let this Massedonyun Queschun rest awhile till we gifts this here Formality- hide out of our Systums an takes Pre- coskuns aginst any more Insidyus Dis infeckshuns. We got a Insurreckshun good deal closter to home n Bull jerria is. As long as tn Milkmens is trecheruusly introducin' PiZen into our Mists it don't concern us none what's a goin on in Moneysteer an Rollofthe- log an them other out of the way places"
 Evry thing else was forgot an evry man an woman in town elected their selfs Milk Inspectors. When tn morn ings milk comes around they didn't drink it but put on gloves so as it cuddent PiZen 'em an set it where it was Good ar Warm. If it didn't git ha Y h. to it an they cussed tn Milkmens. If 1t did. they cussed 'em anyhow for sellin' Antyquated milk an threatened to tell tn Othorities onto 'em.
 Tn Officers an tn Newspapers an some of tn Inhabitance seZ at they is no doubt at somethin' is put into tn milk by some of tn Interruptions Milkmens to prevent decay an arrest Digeschun in tn Human Stummick. They sez to tn Gilty Parties, We found you cut an if you don't quit this Sotter of tn Innocence 1t Il be our duty to Give you Away. It's bet ter fer us to Preserve our Lifes an fer you to Preserve your milk"
 Tn Milkmens held a meetin' an adopted a Resolushun condemin' tn use of FoImalityhide in milk in tn Fall an Winter or durin' any month at had "R' into it, as unnecessary an onwise expense. besides bein dan grous to young Children an little cats. They denounced any Milkman at would disgrace his Profeshun that way an invited tn Helth Officer if he ever ketched him at it agin to give tn Two First Letters Of his name. Tn Milkmens Sociashun was jist agoin to ajourn after tn 'adopshun of this reso- lushun when tn Secertary sez at they is some unfinished Bizness but he can't think jist what it is. He sez it's some sort of a Resulushun at a Brother handed in jist before tn Meetin. ''Oh yes,'' sez he, There it is" It pervided for risin' tn price of milk twenty-five per cent. Wun member sez at he don't want to Oppose tn Resolushun none but he sez, II rise fer infermashun. If we Eliminate tn Formalityhide fun tn milk won't that make it's Produck- shun cheaper?"
 Yes" sez anuther Brother. but tn Winter Wotter Seizin has jist Com menct an tn price has been rose more'n double.'
 "I vote l." sez tn Brother at Rose up fer infermashun an tn Resolushun was unanimus.
 When tn Inhabitance heerd about tn Ackshun of tn Sociashun they was re- leeved an appinted a Committy to wait on em an tell 'em at they would stand tn Raise. But mind you" seZ tn Committy. they must be no Verm- ifooga put into tn milk Next SeiZin'.'
 LITTLE JAMES.