davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-12-17

Her DEATH" they say of woman
who died lately, twas tragedy" That
is nearly true of every death.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-12-17

A 4-year-old youngster while at sup
per the other evening requested his
brother to help him to something and
was told that he should say, ''if you
please" So he said Pass me some
of that If you please
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1903-12-17

She-They say she is fairly throwing
herself at his head He-I suppose
she's heard he's a good catch Smart
Set
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
Old-Tiue Boots.

An oldish gentlemen, resembling
Hosea Perkins, was complimented on
the fine appearance of his boots, which
were made of thin calf, and reached to
his knees, the legs, of course, being
under his trousers, as we used to wear
them 35 and 4 years ago. II am past
70, he said, ''and have never worn a
shoe. Up to my 18th year | went bare
footed, then stepped right into a pair Of
Conestoga boots, which may be good
enough to pillow in, but won't do for So
ciety. These boots I've got on cost me
SIG pair, and have to have 'em made
specially. Boots once saved my life,
and, that why stick to EN-. While in
speeding railroad with which | was
connected my heel got caught in frog
and held me there till train nearly
ran over me. I managed to pull my
foot out, leaving the boot. If I had had
a shoe on I'd not be here today. New
York Press.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
1 ondon's Elusive Sun.

An old Sydney colonist, oJseph
Thompson who lately passed away at
.e age Of sc, arrived in London on
visit in the midst of such another
December as this, and one day at noon
suddenly stood still in the Strand ana
stared fixedly into the sky. Within
three minutes he had the usual crowd
around him, all asking: What is it,
Whats up?" They stared with him
at the murky darkness which to the
Londoner represents the sky, and at
length some one ventured to ask
him what he was looking at. "Oh!"
answered Mr.. Thompson, I'm looking
for thee SUM- That's all! You see, l
come from a land where he's to be
seen in the sky at this time of day,
and | hoped might find him here, too,
if l lo@hed long enough. London
Chronicle.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
BIG STENOGRAPHlc FEAT.
Three Men Take 100000 Words of
Testimony Before Strike Commits
sion.

Three stenographers, and some
times only two, in two weeks time
took down almost 900 newspaper col
umns OF the proceedings of the an
thracite strike comissionA All told
there were 100000 words uttered
during the session of the commission
erS.
The shorthand report of all these
proceedings, the testimony of coal op-
orators, miners, railroad men. BOYS.
and women of dozen different ma
tiOnalitieS and score of dialects, all
went into the official reports of the
proceedings, and together with the
wrangling, examining, cross ques-
tiOning, and arguments of two score
or more lawyers, never less than g.
and the questions and comments OF
the seven members of the commits.
sion, kept the official stenOgraphers
busy every second Of the day and far
into the night. Yet every morning
each of the commissioners, lawyers
and chief witnesses were handed a
full and complete typewriter report
of the proceedings Of the day prev
ious.
The stenographers began work tax
ing down notes at 10 o'clock in the
morning. The first reporter began by
taking shorthand notes for 80 min
utes. Then another stenographer
took seat at the table, and as soon
as he began taking down the pro-
ceedings the first man beat a hasty
retreat to a small room in the rear of
the hall, where he dictated his notes
to a typewriter operator. The second
stenographer would takes notes for
40 minutes, when he would be reliev-
ed by the third man. By the time
the third man had taken notes for 80
or 40 minutes the first stenographer
had finished transcribing his notes
and was ready to come back to the
firing line.
During the noon hour, when the
commission and the lawyers and wit
nesses were out regaling themselves
at luncheon the stenographers would
be wrestling with their pothooks and
talking away briskly to the typewrit-
er operators. Just before they
would take a few minutes to swal-
low a sandwich and cup of milk,
and then begin work for the after
noon. After the court had adjourned
at 4:30 the stenographers would find
themselves possessed of enough ma
terial to keep them debating until
we'll on towards midnight. Then they
would have to read the copy made
by the typewriters, compare it with
their notes, and correct all errors
Chicago Tribune.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
Pointed Paragraphs.

Love make young man sober and
an old man giddy.
Busy men are seldom afflicted with
fits of melancholy.
Wise people respect the man; fools
respect his good clothes.
Any man who does you an i'll turn
will never forgive you for it.
When a man runs short in his ac
counts he is apt to run long in his trav'
els.
Nothing seems more edifying to some
people than to see a bow-legged man
chasing his hat in windstorm.
If some types of beauty were more
than skin deep they might prove fatal
to the possessors thereof.
1t is said that amounting bald head
with onion juice will make the hair
grow. If bald, go lose yourself in the
woods and try it.-Chicago News.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
A NEW POULTRY FARM,
A Des Moines Man Proposes TO Raise
24,cOO Chickens Year From incu-
bators.

James Heath, who purchased prop
erty near Millman, the first station
south of Des Moines on the Chicago
Great Western, and announced his in
| tention of engaging in the chicken
| business on an extensive scale. has
commenced the erection of buildings.
The Heath farm. will be novelty in
| this portion of the country in that it
will be the first farm to be devoted ex-
clusively to the raising of poultry by
| the incubator and brooder process.
| The improvements being put on the
place will represent an investment of
several thousand dollars, in addition
to the purchase price of the farm,
which was secured at cost of about
| $4,000.
| An incubator house and three brood
| houses are now being erected, All are
substantial buildings and all will be-
| heated by steam with the latest de-
vices for regulating the temperature.
| In addition to these buildings there
will be several acres of ground in
closed with woven wire fencing to be
used Aor Quicken parks, workshop for
the making of crates, Grating barn,
building for packing fowls and a
| building for the sorting and packing
and the storage of eggs. The balance
of the tract will be devoted to the rails
| ing of crops to supply feed for the
chickens.
| Mr.. Heath will start in business
with four of the largest type incuba-
| tors, each with g capacity of $50 eggs
each. Mr.. Heath figures that he will
be able to raise about Is broods from
| each incubator in year and that with
his present equipment he will hatch
and prepare for the market from TO-
| 900 to $4,000 chickens a year. The
chickens as fast as Matched will be
transferred to the brood houses and
kept there until they are weaned.
when they will be turned into the
chicken parks to be fed for market or
kept until they commence to be egg
producers. With his equipment Mr..
Heath expects to be able to raise
chickens the year round and will re-
tain enough good hens to provide eggs
for his incubators and to make the
egg branch of the business one of it's
features. He figures that by being
able to supply springs at all seasons he
will command the top prices and that
his venture will be a money maker.
| The brood houses will be construct
ed on scientific lines.
The farm lies about 80 rods west
from Millman station and little bit
north of the south corporation line or
the city. The entire tract is high and
dry. the east line of the place skirting
the brow of the bluff west of the Great
| Western tracks.-Des Moines Register.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
Beautv's Reward.

II the cast of a new play about
to be produced is young actor who
is extremely good looking, but who
is so we'll aware of that fact himself
as to often appear obnoxiously con
ceited to some of the members OF the
company, and especially SO to the
stage manager who has no great ad
miration for manly beauty.
A few days ago, when the latter
was giving final directions concern
ing the costumes of the players, the
handsome actor stepped up to him
and with self-approving smile
pointing to his own face, said:
"And what shall l do with this?''
Change it," was the short reply OF
the manager New York Clipper.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
change.


Later, the horses outside stamped1ng
caused general attention to be attract
ed to them, and when they were finally
| pulled, with many oaths from the cow
boys, to their several places, Jerry
from the door of the saloon, declared
with deep solemnity and with his eye
brows drawn sternly together: "Boyz
I'm in fur sheein' a razh; beginning
right hic-right here down the street
an back again. Bezht man giz $100
an here it IT,
TIL ecOwbOys were soon astride their
ponies, and at the signal from Jerry,
given by lowering his hat with an air
of deep sobriety, but at the imminent
risk of losing his equilibrium, they
tore madly up the street. Their un-
steady heads did not make them adhere
less firmly to their saddles, but they
swayed to and fro dangerously, waved
their sombreros, yelled and hooted. The
dust flew in all directions. The people
on the street ran in doorways.
When the cowboys reached the end
OF the street they stampeded in a
cloud of white oust for a time, but
soon returned, their trappings and their
| long hair flying wildly in the wind. One
of them drew revolver and in the ex-
uberance of his spirits emptied its
chambers rapidly The others joined in.
When they reached the Blue Snake
again they did SO in a heap. Each
claimed the hundred bill.
Jerry, whose authority had not been
questioned heretofore, was not listened
to now for an instant. Exhiliarated by
the race and excited by cries of 1.-The
sheri,' they fell upon him in a body
to get their reward. Before their on
slaught what little sense was left to
Jerry soon vanished. When some time
after he regained consciousness suf1i-
GENTLY to think connectedly it was to
discover that he had been taken in
custody by the sheriff for disturbing
the peace, and also that his wealth
disappeared. The cowboys had eluded
the sheriff and, making detour of the
city, returned to spend their ill-gOtten
money. Some to drink, others to play
| faro, roulette or stud-poker.
| When Jerry, one morning shortly af-
ter regaining his liberty, stepped into
the kitchen of the Beardville tavern his
face wore a strained and worried ex-
preston. He was prepared to take
meekly the TRADE which awaited him.
A Chinaman who was peeling potatoes
and who seemed to be in charge show
ed his yellow teeth as he declared Ia
conically in broken English that Mrs
Frapp had eloped. AS he noted the ex.
preston of mingled pain and alarm
which spread over Jerry's face bis
smile vanished and he explained softly
with apparent concern: 'She mally
She takee chic chic to Cheyelle." Jer.
rvs throat was parched. He stood fol
some time, his eyes fixed on space, and
and then without word left the kitch-
| en-.
| A few weeks later he was enrolled on
the pay roll of the Superior Mining
company, which was making millions
out of his former prospect. His shift
went on at midnight and often, as with
his tin bucket on his arm he took his
way to the mine, he looked up the
mountains, where the stars were twin
king among the pines, in melancholy
thought.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

A young girl having been SO badly
burned on the back that the skin re-
fused to heal, the surgeon conceived
the idea of using the cuticle of a
young pig. A small black pig was
obtained, chloroformed into insensi-
bility. and brought into the operating
room swathed in sterilized towels.
The skin was laid on in small pieces
until it covered the bare space. 1t
was then secured by bands. This is
the first operation of the kind under
taken. It is not expected, however,
that the pigskin will grow permanent
ly to the child, but that natural cuti-
Gle will finally push it out of the way
and cover the entire wound.-London
Globe.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
Nero's Merry Quip.

And it came to pass during the sad,
sorrowful days of ancient Rome that
Nero set the city afire. Watching the
flames, Nero fiddled while Rome was
burned.
"Why are you burning the city thus?"
asked courtier
"Just to show those Phoenician trust
magnates that l can have just as ex-
pensive fire that way as if / burned
their high-priced coal, 'chortled Nero.
But why, are you playing the fiddle
to show your merriment?" persisted
the courtier.
"Oh, I'm playing the fiddle because
I've got too much sense to harp upon
the coal ke!"-Baltimore Herald.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
Then the Senators Smiled.

Then the Senator Smiled: Senator
Foraker was discussing nice point in
the militia bill yesterday with all the
courtesy of Chesterfield
"Why, we are all subject to militia
duty" he exclaimed in silvery out
burst. as he looked around at the many
gray-haired Senators.
"At least, all of us" he added sagely,
"who are under As, as most of us surely
are"
The aged Senatorial visages lighted
with O. smile of appreciation.-Wash-
ington Post.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
"PickWick i'm French"

"Pickwick" has now been done into
French, and it remains to be seen
whether the French people will think
it funny. 1t may be another case of
Mark Twain's Jumping Frog" story,
This was also translated into French,
it will be recalled, but with no sue
cess. To see where the trouble was,
Mark re-translated it back into the
English again, a literal transaction
negatives and all. From the results
obtained he did not wonder the
French people failed to see the humor
of Jim Smiley, of Calaveras county
and his celebrated frog.-Des Moines
Register.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
1T WAS AUNT sUsAN's UNDoING
Fatal Prank of a Steady Going and
Usually Genial Old Locomotive.

Until two days ago the roundhouse
employees of the Reading road at Palo
Alto affectionately referred to locomo-
tive No. 263 as 1.-The steadiest old girl on
the line" and all hands, from the seas
oned engineers like Louis Berger down
to the humblest wiper just Off the farm,
called No. 263, as an evidence of their
respect Aunt Susan" But tonight
Aunt Susan" is smoldering wreck
few miles from this town-a suicide as
it were, for she was her own undoing
after as disgraceful performance as
any locomotive on earth could give.
Not soul observed anything wrong
about the big, clumsy old hulk as it was
being made ready for work early this
morning. Her tender was banked with
choice anthracite and her firebox was
roaring in business-like way when a
wiper drove her, like a sedate family
horse, out of the roundhouse over to
where Louis Berger stood waiting to
swing aboard. A few rods down the
track Aunt Susan" began to cut up
something awful She snorted a bit,
gave a series of extra puffs, whirled
her starboard drivers savagely, and
stodd stock still.
The wiper tangled the bell and pulled
down the whistle, and Berger, the en-
gineer, started On the run to see what on
earth was ailing. Just as he neared
her aunt Susan Juggling like Per-
cheron going up hill, spun her big
wheels and sped down the tracks as
mad a runaway as all records show
since the day the bull got in the china
shop.
Berger managed to, crawl into the cab
as she shot by, and at the same time the
wiper dived into a friendly pile of Gin
ders. Berger worked with the thottle,
but there was nothing doing, so he tied
down the whistle with part Of the bell
rope, and he, tOo, jumped for his life.
Then on and on at a mile minute clip,
went steadily old Aunt Susan" sway
ing and rafting.
Her course lay. straightway down a
stretch of open steel until Well out of
the yards, when a switch sent her into
a roadway dotted with occasional
| freight trains. The first obstruction
was an empty caboose. Enough was
left of that to show that it had been a
caboose. Taking fresh squirt, old "Su-
san" headed straight for a coal train.
With crash like the caving in Of half
of creation, Susan" butted square into
the rear Of the train.
When the steam had cleared away,
and the shower. of anthracite, axles,
steel. bars coupling pins, and thick
planks had ceased falling, old Susan"
was off on one side Of the road, her nose
buried in the mud, her round, highly
polish sides batteredga few wheels torn
off and steam pouring from every crew
| ice in her makeup = ~,
| The wreckage took fire, and the Palo
Alto fire department had to get out of
bed and subdue the flames. The caboose
! ignited also, and SUM of money which
the crew had in their Sunday clothes
was burned up.
| 1--WE been railroading for years, and
that's the biggest fool thing ever knew
of an engine doing" said Louis Berger,
when they brought him the news. 81
thought old Susan had some sense."--
Philadelphia North American.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

1t is always well to fear the Greeks
when they bring gifts. The jewe,led
cigarette cases presented by Prince
Henry, and the kaiser's art gifts and
oily words come in curious juztaposi-
ton with the move against Venezuela.
1t begins to look as though Wilhelm
has made monkey of his Uncle Ed
ward and would like to make fool of
his Uncle Samuel.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
II Didn't Work.

Johnny-Say, ma, our teacher told
us today that through natures prov
idence'' a cat always lands on its feet
when it is dropped, SO it won't be
hurt.
Mother-Well?
Johnny-Well, l went up on the
roof and dropped our cat off, and
guess she'll have to be picked up with
a piece Of plotting paper.-New York
Times.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

J A New York bigamist told the court
he had married his second wife to
please her, which, it will be remem-
bered, is about the same sort of an ex-
cuse that Adam put up for eating the
apple.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

Hetty Green wishes to have it under.
stood that any other life insurance
company which desires to pay taxes on
her property may do so without rum
any risk whatever OF being considered
impairment.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

Alfred Belts fortune is variously es-
timated at from $4OO,OOO,OOO to 81, GOO,-
100000, but as far as the apopleXy is
concerned his holdings might just as
well stop at 80 cents.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
Following Orders.

Mrs. Hiram Offen-Here, Bridget, see
how dusty it is under the bed.
Bridget--Yes'm
Mrs. Hiram Offen-Haven't I i'm
pressed upon you that you must sweep
under the beds?
Bridget--As cOOrse, ma'am, an how
could the dust get there if / hadn't
swept it under.-Philadelph Press.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

The Regent diamond is offered for
sale in Paris. Here is a chance for
Millionaire to make some member of
his family a welcome present. The
stone costs only $2,400,000.
caniZed
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

Efforts to make an insult" out of
the fact that London audience did not
stand and root when Sousa played 1.-THE
Star Spangled Banner" are far-fetched.
in view of the fact that American audi
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

The bank president at Palmyra, N
Y, who makes it practice to give
dime to every child in town each new
year is likely in time to be even more
generally popular than Uncle Russell
Sage.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

The Dead sea is the largest body of
water in Palestine; besides, it is the
most remarkable in the world 1t is 46
miles in length, varying in width five
to nine miles.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
Cruel.

A local band was one day playing at
Dunfemline when an old weaver came
I'D and asked the bandmaster what air
thew were playing. That is The Death
of Nelson. (" replied the bandmsh<r,
solemnly. cay, mon," replied the weav-
err. eye nae gien him an awful death. -
It'd Bits.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

ences do not take the trouble to do SO.
After waiting a little time after her
distinguished husbands departure,
Nine. WI, too, has started for China
Perhaps she thought it not wise to give
the folks there too much America all
NJ nrne,
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

There are a few men who can afford
to laugh at you when you tell them not
to live up to their salary They are
the chaps that work for J. Pierpont
Morgan.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

If this were July instead of January
the average inhabitant would give less
time to studying the fuel question and
the transgressions of the operators.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

The fact that President Castro was
found dancing when he was sought by
a dispatch bearer does not necessarily
imply that he is another Wellington.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

New York's total valuation on the
new basis of actual value is more than
$9,000,000,000 1t will be year or two
yet before any multi-millionaire is rich
enough to buy out the whole city.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

1t begins to look as if Apostle Smoot
of that will be able to read his title
clear to seat in the United States SEN
ate
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

Colored ladies are advancing SO rap
idly in book learning that white wom-
en- will have to make an equal advance
in cookery.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

Now that the coal dealers have scar
ed us into cold shivers it is time for the
price of fuel to drop to something like
normal again.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

A race of midgets has been found in
Mexico by travelling Snowman. Some
of the grown people are only foot and
half high.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

The empress of China has been asked
to resign. Notice of the executions of
the petitioners will be published here
after.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

Formalin is proving it's claim as a
cure for blood poison. 1t is administer
ed by injection into the veins in solu-
ton of 10000
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
Showed It.

81 never proposed to girl before
darling"
II knew that, you foolish boy"
''How?"
"You had it so carefully memorized.
Chicago Tribune.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

Uncle Sans Monroe doctrine was not
designed to get him in the pawnbrok-
ing business.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

They are writing German poetry
about Kipling. This is terrible re-
revenge.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

The imbersupply of the United States
will be exhausted in 80 years at the
present rate of waste Save your woods.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

John Markle's defense is very much
in the nature of plea of confession
and avoidance.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23

American diplomacy and backbone
did the business in the Venezuelan af-
fair.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1903-04-23
EDlGt)RgIA[|I NOTES
Hawaii may now claim to be at least
distant connection of ours.

The cable should save Queen Lii
many useless trip to Washington.