The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1903-10-27
THE NONPAREIL MAN
Casually Observed.

4 49, s5sS\IlNs falNt-tkA IVA ltv
Casually Observed.
! IS It would seem to a layman that if a bank
wants to freak, it just breaks, no matter
| what what It's last statement was.
j . Whether you knock a man down and go
4 tnrl1 MS garments or whether you work
! oH on him an issue of watered stock the
4 result is much the same. You get his
dough.
man can never accumulate much fat
I on the ribs of his soul while he is in the
business of beating his neighbor.
| A ChlcaSo professor says he would like
| to see prayer meetings enliyened by an
occasional college yell Say, he. ought to
have gone TO the Methodist PRAYER meetin'
with our grandpa!
The. doctor who wants to have 4tinc,,r-
ables" killed by law may look at if from
/ a different point Of view the first time he
becomes an incurable.
The Cincinnati Enquirer has vet an
other. Allowing that Mary is "A and Ann
IL. AIMS beau is as old as Mary was when
Ann lacked six years Of being as old as
her beau now is, and the difference be-
tween AIMS age and that Of her beau is
one-seventh of her beaus age How old
is he? We would also add the following
addenda. Provided Ann and her beau are
married how old will Mary's first child be
six years after the date of the formers
marriage, provided that AIMS second
child dies in infancy.
A few years ago Robert A. Johnston of
New York was many times millionaire.
In these days of his prosperity he built a.
nm to hn11 &c 81
he should come to die. But Mr.. Johnston
BECAME involved in business complica tons
and lost his wealth. and is to-day q pen
niless recluse, who is permitted to live
in barn on the rural premises once
owned by himself as a country estate on
the Hudson. His only income is meager
allowance as care-taker Of the premises
and yet the marble walls of his two
hundred thousand-d dollar sepulcher still
await his coming. If he could get his
money out Of his tomb he might be we'll
fixed financially for the rest of his life,
but unfortunately the market for 5000, 900
sepulchers is very limited. There are no
market quotations on them. People are
willing to buy al burial lot sometimes but
they hesitate about putting a fortune into
it. The old aphorism "think about dying
used to be popular. We are very slow to
learn to think properly about living. Still,
we know of no newspaper man who has
yet made the mistake of putting 100000
into a tomb. - - -
Alfred Holder in Everybody's Magazine
teNS how Tamnany took TON of every dead
man in the hospitals of New York. In
order to control the graft easier it vas
the custom to remove patients that we're
considered hopeless to certain hospital
that they might die there There was a.
little ring of undertakers that had the in
side and it was notified by the hospital
authorities of the death of an inmate and
/ member Of it fastened to see the family
If the deceased to secure the job. If the
amily preferred some outside undertaken.
he rejected operator was given the death
certificate by the superintendent of the
hospital. and would squeeze a fee out Of
he family on the pretense that he had
performed legal services in the case. be-
ore delivering up the certificate. Death
las no terrors for the CRATER. He works
Dean Pigou Of London upon whom the
mantle of Sydney Smith is said to have /,
allen deprecateS some views of Sunday
school especially as to the accuracy OF
he instruction which, a picture of st.
ohm the Baptist's head being brought on
charger, represented that charger as "a
orse rampant" But he is alive to the
of the Sunday school and not
y
onsiders that treats" are overdone. In
eed, Eone little boy he heard of was so
tuffed with buns and cake that at last
e gasped out, Garry me home, mother.
utSdo not bend me-
OF the intellectual results obtained Dr.
'igou seems less confident. He recalls the
1other who had lost her child. ''Ah sir
am happy to think my lamb is safe in
he arms Of Beelzebub.' He remembers
he prize definition Of cherub-''A
aerub is an infant angel who died before
aptism. and will undoubtedly be saved:
'hich suggests that other definition-"A
herub is an immoral being of uncertain
1ape"; and he has saved for us this
earl-"Sins of omission are those which
e ought to have committed and have
,rgotten to commit
They are telling in St. Louis how a At
weeping nearly broke up a tragedy.
his terrible tragedy occurred on the
age in fact it was play. Women were
to weep silently into their
during its performance-in
ct there are three or four weeps in every
It. Usually this flow of tears does not,
terfere either with the enjoyment or with
e play. But the other night mama took
it'll her little Charlie, aged 5. When
tile Charlie saw mama doing a weep,
took hold himself and let out a roar
crying that nearly knocked the pros
MUM boxes over. Nothing else could
heard for two rods around. The out
y penetrated the farthest corners Of
a theater 1t took all the go out Of
e heroine. The man who had just been
ordered sat up. Three or four ushers
rried to tell mama that little Charlie
eyed supertluous and the play prac-
ally stopped till the roar, still working
ertime, was heard being carried thru the
oby of the theater and out into the open
where it melted into the indistinguish-
lie roar of traffic and momentarily
owned it out. Charles mother the
xt day was telling how Charlie dis
wed in tears at telling point in the &
ly last night "A. J. R.
WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK L