davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05
*Waterdogs.
From Cowboy Songs in Pearson's
Opposed to Modern Bank Methods.

Opposed to Modern Bank Methods.
When civilization reached Pine Hill
City a bank was established and one
Of the first customers was old man
Johnson. A few days later he wanted
money, and entered the place with a
gun in his hand.
want some money tcday?" queried
the president. We'll, it's ready for
your"
Say, I don't understand" exclaim-
ed the old man, as he backed off. I'm
here to hold this bank up for $50"
But you don't have to. Just sign
this check, and I'll hand you your
money"
and 1 don't yell or shoot?"
NO"
And the sheriff don't come after
me?"
"NO. Put your name to this"
Il can't do it can't do it, no how"
said the old man, with a choke in his
voice. eff that's the new way Of
dom things, I'm out Of it. 1 want my
money, but l want it in the old way"
well, have it the old way, then
The old man Jramped forward to
the cashiers window, rested the
muzzle of his gun on the ledge and
yelled out:
Come down or you are a dead
mani"
Certainly. Here's thirty
"And-and is that all there is to
it?"
That's ALL
Then I'll be hanged if l want it"
he said, and he threw the money back
and went outdoors and sat down on a
barrel Of sugar in front of a grocery
and shed tears.-Galveston Daily
News.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05
Almost Alive.

A New Highlander was being shown
through the Canadian parliament
buildings at Ottawa. His guide and
friend was D. c. Fraser, M. P, for
Guysborough. Big DAN" as the Nova
Scotia giant is dubbed by his fellow
members, after showing his friend
through the house of commons, mo-
toned to him.
Come and have look at the wax
works. he said and led the way to the
senate chamber.
The New Highlander for a few mo-
ments carefully surveyed the solemn
aggregation of senators. Then turning
to Fraser, he said:
well, now, if you hadn't told me,
might have thought that some of
those fellows were alive"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05
ST. AGNES EVE.

st. Agnes Eve, celebrated on the
night of January 20. was formerly a
special holiday for women. A girl on
the eve of the virgin-martyr's day was
empowered by divination, to see her
future husband in her dreams. On
this superstition John Keats founded
his poem, The Eve of st. Agnes"
which lie wrote in 1918. st. Agnes,
tradition tells us, was a Roman girl
who suffered martyrdom during the
great Diolectian persecution, January
q, A. D. sos. Upon the place of her
execution church was built without
the vans of Rome, which is still exist
ing. In this basilica, founded in honor
Of ST. Agnes of Constantine, on jan
uary q a commemoration service is
celebrated, in which two lambs, typi-
cal of the purity oft he young martyr,
are blessed at the altar. Their wool
is used afterward to make the pallium,
the sign of Episcopal jurisdiction, for
the Pope, which is consecrated before
it is worn by being deposited in a gold
en- urn upon the tomb of st. Peter.
Tennyson published the following
poem in 1912:
Deep on the convent roof the SHOWS
Are sparkling to themoon
My breath to heaven like vapor goes;
May my soul follow soon,
The shadows of the convent towers
Slant down the snowy sward,
Still creeping with the creeping hours
That lead me to my Lord
Take Thou my spirit pure and clear
AS are the frosty skies,
Or this first snowdrop of the year
That in my bosom lies.
AS these white robes are solid ano
dark,
To yonder shining ground;
AS this pale taper's earthly spark,
To yonder argent round;
So shows my soul before the Lamb,
My spirit before Thee;
So in mine earthly house l am,
To that l hope to be.
Break up the heavens, o Lord! and
far,
Thro' all yon starlight keen,
Draw me, thy bride, a glittering star,
In raiment white and clean.
He lifts me to the golden doors;
The flashes come and go;
All heaven bursts her starry floors
And strOWs her lights below
And deepens on and up! the gates
Roll back, and far within
For me the Heavenly Bridegroom
waits,
To make me pure of sin.
The sabbaths of Eternity,
One sabbath deep and wide
A light upon the shining sea-
The Bridegroom and his bride.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05
Just for Fun.
THE CREATION OF NEW MEXICO.

THE CREATION OF NEW MEXICO.
The devil in hell they say were
chained
And there a thousand years remained.
He never complained nor did hegroan,
But decided to start little hell of his
own;
So he asked the Lord if he had any on
hand
Left over when he made this land.
The Lord said, Yes, I've plenty
handy;
But left it all down on the Rio
Grande.
In fact, Old Boy, the truck is SO poor
don't think it could be used as hell
any more
The devil examined it closely and
well,
And concluded the country was too
dry for hell;
But the Lord, to get it off his hands,
Promised the devil he'd water the
lands,
AS he had some water that were of no
use,
Regular bog holes and stunk like the
deuce.
So the trade were made and the deed
were given,
And the Lord went back to his home
in heaven,
And the Devil said it was all he
needed
To start a new hell, and then he pro-
ceeded.
He scattered tarantulas along the
roads,
Put thorns on the cactus and horns
on the toads;
He mixed up the sand with millions
Of ants,
So those who sat down needed half
soles on their pants.
He heightened the horn of the Texas
steer
And put an addition to the jackrab-
He quickened the step of the bronco
steed
And poisoned the feet of the cent?
pede.
He put Juajalota* in all the lakes
And under the rocks hid rattlesnakes.
The wild boar roams through the
chapparell,
And it's damned poor place he's got
for a hell.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05
For NanLeS'S Attractions.

The economic problem of Naples is
just now perplexing the Italian govern
ment very seriously. Naples is a
town Of over 100000 inhabitants, and
it without any staple industry, with
the result that there are always at
least 10000 unemployed, and conse-
quently distress and misery are never
absent. All efforts to develop trades
have failed, but it is now proposed to
make Naples the Mecca Of all tourists
to Italy, it being recognized that tour
lists are likely to prove it's main
source of subsistence Among the
plans proposed is one for the erection
of a large gambling casino on the lines
Of that at Monte Carlo 1t It's further
proposed to line the shores of the
famous bay of Naples with magnifi-
cent hotels. By these measures it is
hoped to solve the problem upon which
the existence of Naples depends.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05
IN A HUNDRED YEARS.

If we could live what should we see?
What will men learn and do and be?
What mighty changes will be wrought?
What movements with great issues
fraught?
What marvels now but dimly guessed?
What progress toward all ills con-
quest?
What now unkenned shall then be
known
VIII Right, not Might, be on the
throne?
We'd like to live, to know and see,
Still sound and strong, what then shall
be-
But none of US will know or care,
Meath Winter snow and flowers fair,
In a hundred years.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05
The Proof Lacking.

Miss Gabberton spoke of you the
other day in a manner that strikes me
as being akin to SANDER" said the fai:
girl as she gazed at the clock and at
tempted to suppress a yawn.
Indeed" exclaimed young Borem.
What did she say?"
she said,.' replied the fair one
that you were an easy-going sort of
chap"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05

turkeys and eggs a man can
readily find a good market. With
trolley lines penetrating every section
and markets near at hand, the New
England farmer should awaken to
and progress with his ur-
tan eighbors.-New London Day
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05
The Sensation.

Doesn't it give you a terrible feel
ing when you run over a man." they
asked him.
Yes, if he's a large man." replied
the automobolist. '"Iu gives me a
pretty rough jolt sometimes"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05
Jonah Again.
The whale was uneasy.

The whale was uneasy.
= am afraid Jonah is not satisfied
with his accommodations it said.
And what gave you that idea?'
queried the octopus.
ooh, | have inside information.
Thereupon the whale laughed and
Jonah came up.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05
Free to Choose,

Nov, them said the professor OF
logic, give us an idea of your knowl-
edge of the question in plain words"
"Why-er-I'm afraid" stammered
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05

the student, mat | can't exactly
Perhaps then you may give us an
idea of your ignorance of it in any old
words. ''-Philadelphia Press.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05
Silence is Golden.

The man who to the highest rung
Goes easiest and best
Is he who always gives his tongue
Vast quantities of rest.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1903-02-05

Wife-What are you doing?
Musician-COmpOsing fune.a al
march to be played when aunt is
divo7ced-Almanach des Cocottes.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29
colon'st Rates to California.

Another period Of low rates to Call
fornia has been arranged for by the
RocF Island System. The first selling
date Is Sept. 18th, the last Nov. 3Oth'
The rates are the same as were In eff
feet last spring
S33. 90 from Chicago.
S31.OO from Peoria and Rock Island.
1872. 80 from ST. Paul and Minneapolis.
S3l.70 from Cedar Rapids.
1925 from Des M0ineS.
$500 from Missouri River points.
Corresponding reductions from all
other Rock Island stations. Tickets
are good in tourist sleeping cars. &c
ow before the rush b3gtnS, There
will be no reduced ratss to California
during the winter. The Rock Island
System offers two routes to California
Scenic" and Southern.
Ask nearest Rock Island ticket
agent for folder "AcrOss the Cont
nent in Tourist Sleeping Car" il
gives full International E. Cooper
Topeka, Kansas.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29

A good half section, nine miles from
Phillipsburg, good broom stone house
with cellar and cistern, frame barn
36x4O with stone basement and cis-
tern also room for 1000 bushels Of
wheat. timber and orchard of bearing
trees, all fenced and cross fenced, 200
acres in cultivation, eight acres. in
alfalfa and plenty Of land that will
grow alfalfa. Price, 500 per acre.
Time can be had on part of this at
per cent. A genuine snap for some
one. Inquire or address this Office.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29
lcing proof that the kidn
: out Of order.
What to Do,

convincing proof that the kidneys and blad-
der are out OF order.
what to DO.
There Is comfort In the knowledge 80
often expressed that Or. Kilmer's Swamp,
Root, the great kidney remedy fulills every
wish in curing rheumatism, pain in the
back, kidneys, liver. bladder and every part
Of the urinary passage. It eorrec,s inability
TO hold water and scalding pain in passing
q, or bad effects following use OF liquor,
wine or beer, and overcomes that unpleasant
necessity Of being compelled to 20 often
during the day, and 10 get up many times
during the night. The mild and the extra
ordinary effect Of Swamp-Root Is soon
realized. ], stands the highest for It's won
derful cures Of the most distressing cases.
II you need a medicine you should have the
best. Sold BY druggists in Soc. and 81. sizes.
You may have a sample bottle Of this
wonderful discovery E
and bool; tina, tells AllfaH11 As.ss9A
more about Il, both sen, Z. y =
absolutely free by mail. Ss1ssi. A1lls7 ~
Address DR.. Kilmer & Home Of svampRoOl
Co., Binghamton. N. Y. When writing men
ton reading this generous offer in this paper.
Don't make any mistake, but remember
the name, Swamp-Roo,. Dr.. Kllmer's
Svamp-Root. and the address, BInghamton,
N.Y., on every boiile.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29
ROAD NOTICE.

To whom II may concern:
In pursuance If an order made BY the board OF
connty commissioners OF tho county OF hillips,
in The etate OF Kansas. in regular session on the
lat day Of Oct. A. D. 1908 notice Is hereby give
en- that L. G. Hoppe and others, householder OF
said county, residing In the vicinity where 1t Is
proposed ~ lay out and establish the road b. low
mentioned, have presented to said board thelr
certain petition. praying the laying out and es'
closing OF public road in said county az
follows:
Commencing at the center OF section twenty
Ave (25J township two ~ range seventeen ~,
Philins county. Kansas. and from thence west
on half fection line to intersect the section NE
running north and south between sections % ana
% In said township and range and that Charles
Haesler, George Chapman Frank Scott viewers,
duly appointed. will meet at beginning OF SAID
road with aurveyor, on the End day OF NoVep :
Der, A. d. 1903, and proceed TO view SAID ROAD
and TO give all parties q hearing;
Witness my hand, and the seal OF Faid county
affixed at my office in said county this 1871 day oil
oct A. d 1908. j. Il. hAMBo.
(SeaD Oounty ole'A
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29

James Slack who was injured in a
wreck Is not improving very fast, and
1t is feared that an operation of some
kind may be necessary.
A couple OF lap robes belonging to
Joe Carroll and cape to Pearle Dix
on were taken while the owners were
attending the entertainments at Klr-
win last week.
Francis Carroll is back from Call
fornla for a visit. He has been work.
Ing for Mr.. Peterson while away. He
likes the country and reports the
health of the family as much improved
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29
Bargains In Real Estate.

No. | 240 acres In Greenwood town.
ship. Good tillable land; good pasture;
good water; good improvements and
good title. win not be given away
but will be sold at reasonable price.
No. 2 100 acres OF good land In
Sumner, NOT the cheapest, not the
highest priced but bargain for one
desiring his own home.
100 acres in GlenwOod township.
Good houses, EARNS, and water. 30
acres under cultivation, good peach
orchard of 1000 trees; price $40 per
acre. (Bu.)
160 acres in Sumner township. All
under fence. About 81 acres In cult
walton good well, windmill and tanks
Good granaries and stables; price,
g., O0O.00.-H. G.
400 acres, all In one body, In Green
wood township. Goud houses, barns,
pastures, water, and orchards. On
rural mail route. Must be sold
by Jan. LIST. loot. W.
100 acres In Greenwood About 80
acres in cultivation; price $1,000.
24O acres in Smith County. Good
houses, barns, orchards, and water.
On rural mail route; price, $40 per
acre,
For information address $. A. Matte
son, Dana, Kans or this office.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29
Thousands Have Kidney Trouble
and Don't Know II.
How To Find Out.

Fill bottle or common glass with your
water and let It stand twenty-four hours
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29
Manager Wanted.

Trustworthy lady or gentleman to
manage business in this county and
adjoining territory for we'll and favor
ably known House Of solid financial
standing. $1,000 straight cash salary
and expenses, paid each Monday by
check direct from headquarters. Elk
pense money advanced; position per-
manent. Address, MANAGER, 6lO
Monon Bldg, Chicago, Ill. 48-lS
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29

Shinealps have a fine line
Of Ladies and Children's Jack
cts. Don't fail to get their
prices before buying.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29

Aquarter section Of well improved
land 7 miles from town in Thomas
county, good house, well, windmill,
corrals, stables, cattle sheds, etc.
There is new pasture fence around
half section of railroad land that goes
with this place, that is the fence goes
with it and lease for the land. This
quarter and The lease for the half sec
tion can be lad for 1920, cash. For
further information inquire at this
office.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29
Professional Cards.
r. FIR sTINsON. W. A. BARRON.
LAW OFFICE.

Real Estate and Insurance.
The only complete aud carefully re.cnmpared set
Of Abstract Rocks in Phillips county.
Phllllpsburg, Kansas.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29
AGRA DEPARTMENT
y y By Special Reporter for The Herald. :" =

The township board met Monday
Leslie Powell spent Sunday in Agra
Miss Bessie Crook is visiting at Fort
Riley.
s. Merrifeld is working at the lum-
Der yard.
Mr.. Ratzclift's have new girl in
their home.
The Sunday school convention was
we'll attended.
G. M. Poe made a business trip to
this place Tuesday.
Patrick Carroll of Norton is visiting
here for short time,
Barber Williamson, made a drive to
Phillipsburg, Monday.
Wages of the Section men cave been
cut down to $l.35 day.
D. H. Crosby expects to take charge
of the hotel next Monday.
W. E. Strain has been threShing
and hauling his wheat recently.
Homer Smedley wentto Logan for
music lessons a few days ago.
The Lockes at Kirwin last week
were we'll attended by Agraitcs.
Bert Dundas and Ode Smedley are
painting new barn for Manages.
Walter Wilson and Lee Halbert are
putting up barn for Walter Peterson
Two cars of coal brought to town re-
Gently found ready sale at $8 per ton.
Chas. Smedley broke his buggy on
road from Kirwin one night last week.
W. ]. Witham and wife returned
Sunday morning from their visit in
Nebraska.
Mrs. T. E. Burns and Miss Ruthe
Hall drove to Kirwin Thursday after
noon.
Smallle Thompson who works with
the Rock Island bridge gang spent
Sunday at home.
Geo. Underwood and family have
returned from Brock, Nebraska, and
will probably remain here.
Superintendent G. N. Arnold at
tended the meeting Of the district
teachers association, Saturday.
@. L. Benton, A. Clark, G. A. Haley
H. b. Wilson and r. Benton are work
ing on section near PhillipSburg.
Such little towns as Kenslngton and
Kirwin operate telephone system
successfully. Why not have one In
Agra.
Rev. Cook from Beloit attended the
Sunday school convention and Oc-
cupied the M. e. pulpit Sunday even
ing.
The clothing store Of the Shimeall
Clothing Co. will be closed out While
this has been paying proposition the
proprietorS feel that IL would be bet.
ter to concentrate their efforts, and
the stock of their several stores. will
be consolidated.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29
Notice Of Final Settlement.

In the Probate Court, in the County OF Philips
in the State Of Kansas.
In the matter Of the Estate OF A, u Hail
Deceased.
,otlce IL hereby given to all ere 'itors snd
other peraons interested In the above entitled
matter that will, on the 18th day Of October
1903, make ii al settlement Of the estate of A. O.
Hall, deceased. and will at that time
apply to the Proha Govt OF Phillips county
Kaneas, te be discharged 40 Administering OF inc
said estate. LUCY K. HALL Administratriy.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29

For SALE-A good grade Durham
Hereford Bull, two and half years
old, weight about 1900. No better
animal for breeding purposes in the
country. Will trade for calves. I'D.
Matteson, Dana, Kansas. Informa'
ton at this Office.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29
W. N. MOORE,
AttornaN-Rt-LaW.

Special attention given tn Commercial Law.
Collections and Bankruptcy practice; aleo Real
EHtate and Insurance. Notarv In office Ohice
first d oor west OF tho post Office Phillipsburg,
Kansas.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29
.,.nanese Are Rrainv.

The brains of the Japanese, both
male and female, average greater
weight than those Of the English.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29

Where Labor ls Well Paid.
The price Of labor in Alaska is $3.50
to $3.50 day. with board.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1903-10-29

sediment or set
Ting indicates an
unhealthy condi-
ton Of the kid
neys; II It stains
your linen It Is
evidence Of kid
ney trouble; too
frequent desire TO
pass II or pain in
the back Is also
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-01-29

organic. but although one knows the
dread disease lies but just ahead OF
him by reason of inherited tendency,
the trouble may absolutely avoided
by early development of large heart
and lungs, able to cope with and de-
stroy the attacking consumptive germ.
This is not mere theory, it is an abso-
lutte fact. demonstrated beyond pos
sible denial. The way to always be
well is to keep well while you are
well, and the way to do this is to cul-
tivate for yourself a large quantity
of vital energy, able to combat with
ercise and daily bath, and have re-
gard for diet, not perhaps because 1t
is a necessity today, but because 1t
contributes powerfully to the over
coming of physical difficulty when
you shall come up against it. Get
for yourself in early age a good body.
There is no end in these days of adver-
tised physical culture schools, most
of which doubtless have great merit,
but there is one that this paper can
most heartily recommend, the Young
| Mems Christian Association. The
safeguard here against imposition lies
in the fact that its PHYSICAL work has
no commercial phase or emphasis. It
is engaged in making men better, not
not in getting extravaganza. Q even
an adequate, financial return. A few
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1903-01-29

1t Will be a Boon to the Young Men
of Las vegas-Some Suggestions.

The projected gymnasium OF the
Young Mems Christian Association
with its full and complete equipment
and competent management of a spec
tally qualified physical director will
be a boon to the young men Of Las
Vegas. The while country is awaken
ing to a sense Of the need TO give
more attention to PHYSICAL culture.
Many a young nan in the office, ie-
hind the counter, at he desk, or other
employment of confrsng character,
feels himself declining in health, which
| persistently holds on IT'S way till !cs-
pondency lays hold ;'Lon the young
mans mind, by which time he is fair
ly on the way t., plysicial destruc-
ton. He is very likely to resort to
medicine, and the counsel of a trust
worthy physician in indispensable, but
being unsophisticdted In such mat
tiers ans an easy prey to charltans
of the medical practice. who prey
upon him for unrighteous gain. His
physical system becomes SO reduced
that his recuperative powers canno'
cope with disease and adverse medl
cation, and he soon reaches the point
of being a confirmed invalid, of no u.s.
to the world and a burden to himself
All this might have easily been avoid
ed if at the first inclination to dis
order he had given attention to thu
needs of his physical nature. There
is one imperative law Of physical life
that of activity. Inactivity is death
There can be no nutrition of the bod!
without exercise. BY inheritance tn
young mar may be predisposed t
some form of disease, in one 1t ma.
be consumption, in another this o
that. which means that he has IN
lherited a weakness of some particula
part of his being, and when the re
Operative powers are so run dow
as to be unable to resist attacking
disorders, he becomes sick in som
particular way resulting from his pal
ticular inheritance. No matter VIVA
> the environment of the inherited tent
ency, these difficulties may usual
be avoided if taken hold Of in time
pulmonary consumption may not b
curable when the difficulty become