The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1903-04-23

hausted and fell III the arms of one of
The ministers, and another lady Jump
ed up and followed "All aboard. y
and the ropes were cut and this great
ship started p and up it went. I
followed OH its wake; it went higher
and higher until all lost sight of
earth. One lady tainted. The
ladies gathered around her with fans,
some called for camphor, others said
that would not do as it contained
whisky. Finally one Of the ministers
came up with his grip, took out bot
tie Of whisky that he carried to us
in case of sickness they rubbed little
about her mouth and she opened it
and swallowed q good amount, and
was soon on her feet singing "Fare-
we'll Vain World, We Are Going Be-
yond. !" One of the ministers got ex-
cited and jumped over board and went
down To- and the ship moved on
and soon sighted the portals of heaven.
The prohibition ladies waved their
handkerchiefs, but received no signal
from the angles. Finally the wind
commenced to blow and the ship head
ed in opposite direction, going direct
from heaven The wind got strong
er and all on board commenced to pray
to the Good Lord; the public speaking
women prayed to God to send them
back to earth and they would never
again violate his word by speaking in
public, and would learn from their
husbands the things that they ought
to know The drunkards prayed to
the Lord to save them and send them
back to earth and they would only
drink little for their stomache's
sake, and they would never again
visit a blind tiger
The old maids on board prayed to
the Good Lord to send them back to
earth and they would smile at the men
and catch husband and be good to
him; they would turn his bed down
early and smooth his pillow and put
his slippers by his bed, and rock the
j babies and let him sleep in the morn
ing. The fanatics prayed 80 Lord
save and send us back to earth and we
willrespect the opinions of others. ;"
| What few got on board from Rankin
| prayed to be saved and sent back to
the free state and they would try and
save the land. The debtors prayed,
80 Lord, send us back to earth and
we will pay all of our debts and owe
no man; the ministers all prayed ;the
wind got stronger; the pilot could
not save his ship and gave up his
post.
All OH board prayed to this great
bishop to save them and stand by his
post, that the Lord had failed to
save them. The bishop prayed
aloud to the Lord to send them back
to the earth and that he would preach
the gospel of Christ and not Of men he
would not preach with high flown
words that would tickle the ear, but
would preach SO simple that fool
could understand his gospel and be
the means of saving the poor az
| we'll az the rich, and he would 60 to
the country and preach to the poor
without money or price looking alone
to God, and whefe | go and am not
worthy will shake the dust from my
feet and go on my way preaching your
gospel. Finally the wind got strong
er and a regular cyclone struck the
ship and it was torn asunder and the
air was filled with white ribbon land
I saw black lace stockings dangling in
the air, and all OH board went down
to the place where there is wailing
and knashing of teeth. Only one
lady was saved, she got aboard to kiss
young minister good by and the ship
moved off before she could get off,
and she was caught up and saved.
/ returned home to see how Sallie
was getting along and found her we'll.
Your friend,
IOHN WATERGRASS.