Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1903-12-01

country. Jumpuppe-WAy1 Lucy
| now run excursions and observation
trains to the scenes Of all their I'M
portant wrecks. ."-Ex.
Let us have peace" said the Eng
| white strangers love the redmen y
"Ah, yes" replied the intelligent In
dian, they love the very ground we
walk upon. n."-Philadelphia Press.
Silence Fell as a PaIl.-Young Wife
Cat dinner)-I didn't tell you, Adolphus,
l cooked the dinner to-day myself.
Husband = Indeed! Then in my
thoughts 1 have been doing poor Mary
Ann a great nJustice.-Pearson s
| Weekly.
Fond Of Fancy Work.-"Does your
/ wife do much fancy work? 2" Fancy
work? She won't even let a porous
plaster come into the house without
crocheting a red border round it and
running yellow ribbon through the
oles.'-Tit-Bits
A Rare Chance.-Nell-I was de-
lighted to meet her at bargain sale
to-day. Belle thought you detested
her. NelI-So do; and during the
crush I found chance to give her a
few good pokes on my own account.
Philadelphia Ledger.
Passerby-Well, well! Have you
been getting licking, little man? Lit
tie Man-You called de turn, stranger
Foist de Jones kid he licked me, den
ma licked me fer fghtin', den wen pa
came home he licked me fer losin' to
de Jones kid!-Boston Post.
"Such weather. exclaimed Mr.. Hen
ry Peck. Pm free to say this"
Whats that, Henry?" interrupted his
wife. BEG pardon, my DEAR" he be-
gan meekly. 81 mean 'with-your per-
mission I'm free to say this is the
worst climate under the sun."-Phil-
adelphia Press.
Yes" said the dentist, ito insure
painless extraction you'll have to take
gas, and that's fifty cents extra. :"
"Oh!' said the farmer, 81 guess the
old way'H be best; never mind no gas"
You're brave man" "Oh! it amt
me that's got the tooth; it's my wife y
Philadelphia Ledger.
No Advantage to Her-"Are you
training your daughters in the house
hold arts7" mo. What's the use?
Jest as soon as | got one of them
trained SOS she could help me, some
man would come along an marry her.
An men are havin' it too easy these
days, anyhow. Chicago Post.
A hopeless case: "A great big, able
bodied man like you ought to be
ashamed to ask a stranger for money
said the well-to-do citizen. 81 know
I ought" answered Meandering Mike;
''but, mister, I'm jes' naturally too
kind hearted to tap m on de head and
take it way from him" ."-Washingto
Star
II see you have chicken for dinner"
"Yessuh," said Erastus Pinkley.: x
hope you bought the chicken" 'Well,
no; but the transaction were strictly
regular. Dat chicken has been roost-
in on my fence foh months wifout
payin' muffin, an I reckoned it were
bout time to fohclose." ."-Washingto
Star.
He-''So the engagement is broken
off 2" She Yes. He told her he
thought she should stop reading nov
els and read something more substan-
tial; something that would improve
her" He-"WeI?" She-"Well, the
idea Of a man intimating to his fiancee
that she could be improved in any
ay"-Philadelphia Press.
Sad part of it: What did you do
with that fellow who stole the horse?"
asked the tenderfoot. "Nothin' much"
answered Broncho Bill-"jist took the
boss away from him." 'Is that all?"
yep. He war settin' in the saddle
with rope around his neck tied to a
tree when we took the boss away,
though. h."-Indianapolis Sun.
Stranger-Are the walters here at
tentive to you? Pretty Cashier
Sir-r-r-r! Stranger-Oh, no offense, I
assure you. I was only carrying out
the instructions printed on the bill of
inattention Of walters to cashier" And
I thought if they were inattentive to
you I would report them-that's ALL
Baltimore American.
Well trained: I'm anxious to get
the names Of all present" said the re-
porter; will you oblige me" "Ohw
said the meek little man, you may
put down Mrs. Henry Peck and hus-
band" "You mean Mr.. and Mrs.
Henry Peck don't your" st would
prefer that" he replied, with fur
tive glance over his shoulder, "but,
for goodness sake, don't say gave
it to you that way."-Philadelph
Press.
Overheard In Court-Counsel Ito
witness)-How can yeu prove that the
prisoner stole six of your handker-
chiefs? "Why, because they were my
handkerchtefs that were found on him.
Look at them for yourself. They are
exactly the same as mine" '"That
proves nothing. have some handker-
chiefs like those" That's quite pos-
sible," replied the witness; several
more of mine are missing. g."-Ex.
In the near future: Domestic
"Don't you want to go out this after.