davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
Universal and Eternal.

Eyes, life is universal and eternal, for
time is one of it's factors; yesterday
the moon, today the earth, tomorrow
Jupiter. In space there are cradles and
tombS. The red carbon stars will soon
be dead; the hydrogen stars, like Vega
and Sirius, are the stars Of the future;
Procyon, Copella, Arcturus are the
stars of the present. Aldebaran seems
to be already an autumn fruit" So
said Flammarion
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
RuinatiOn o. the Country.

"AIore'n thirty year sense, l heared a
preacher say one time how eddication
an rum an money was bound to be the
ruination O the country, an set fire eff
You take it betWiXt these here rich
college fellers an them dod bowed
syndrics there, an | want to know
what show is they for pore men same's
me and youY-From "Overhauling the
pOliticianers" in Century.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
Pertinent Advice.

A student noted for his carelessness
in dress once approached Professor
Simon Newcomb Of Johns Hopkins
university for advice. He was think
ing Of leaving college and going into
business, having had a f1attering offer.
''Now you know my case, professor"
he said, land if you were in my shoes
what would you dO?"
The professor looked very serious
and replied:
"Black them, of coursew
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
A Caustic RetOrt.

An Englishman OF somewhat ques-
tionable reputation, who was criticising
the American way Of spelling, once
turned to Maurice Barrymore, the
actor, and said: ''Tll leave it to Mr..
Barrymore. Is it right to leave out
the u in such words as harbor, neigh
Dor, honor, candor, etc?" "Well, about
harbor and neighbor am not sure"
replied Barrymore. ''but when it comes
to honor and candor I leave you out"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
Dr@a king In y New Pine.

''NOtice thar chap in a brown Ilat"'
said man to his companion in Il walk.
'"Trying to break in new pipe; trying
to smoke it the first time, and fills I:
to the n2uzZlc He'll never in all his life
or as long as he owns that pipe-cn-
joy it,
'Oh, won't he?''
Never; only one Way to break in
new pipe, Put in d pinch of the weed
at first and smoke it all; another pinch,
only larger than the first; smoke it all
out; clean the pipe; gradually you can
fill the pipe to the n1llzzle and finally
be able to smoke her all out clean as
whistle"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
Oranges and Tobacco.

did you ever notice." asked a we'll
known physician the other day, chat
men who eat oranges are not much
injured by smoking? 1t is a fact.
Orange juice has the faculty of neu-
tralizing nicotine, and that is the
reason. 1 have seen men weakened
and even made i'll by excessive smok-
ing, and a few oranges were all that
was necessary to straighten them out"
philadelphia Record
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
An Obedient Boy.

Merchant-Did you deliver my mes
sage to Mr.. Smith?
Boy-No sir; be was out and the of
fee was locked up.
Merchant-Well, why didn't you wait
for him, as | told you?
Boy-There was a notice on the door
saying, Return at once" so I came
back as quick as I could
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14

Say, paw, was you ever the cynosure
of all eyes?"
Yes; the other day when 1 went
running down the middle of the street
after my hat I'll bet there wasn't Il
man. woman or child in town who
wasn't there looking at me-
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14

My husband doesn't gamble now as
he used TO-"
Reformed. has he?"
"Yes; he doesn't go to the race track
at all any more. His worst dissipa-
ton now is swimming, l think. At any
rate, he says he only goes to the poo
rooms. "-Philadelphia Press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
SDnrrinG For m ODening.

Guest (after struggling valiantly but
unavailingly for some time with fowl
Waiter, what kind OF bird is this?
''Canvasback duck, SIR
''NO wonder | couldn't do anything
with it. Run and get me the scissors"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14

Apprentices, madam, [ wish to Sc
cure board, but | must inform you thar
| am Il vegetarian, madam.
Mrs. Slimdiet-OL that will be ali
right You will not be expected to ear
the meat. None of the others ever dc
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
Where Financial Plan Fails.

'What we need is not a larger sup
ply of money, but more highly devel-
oped forms of credit
That's just it. But do you know
that sort of thing wouldn't go with my
tailor" Boston Commercial Bulletin.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
Making Allowances.

Bronson-I don't see why you should
be so angry at your son for marrying.
We have to make allowances for the
young, you know.
Munson-Confound it, that's what
I'm kicking about. not only have to
make an allowance for him, but now
I'll have to make one for his wife too.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14

Il wish to marry your daughter
said the young man. The old man was
a sensible old man.
''Can L support you in the style to
which you have been accustomed?" he
asked.-Puck.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
As Practical as IsuaT.

Poor MAXWELL, did you buy that
book telling all about how to economic
in the kitchen?
Wife-Yes, I've got it,
Poor Man-That's good What does
it say?
Wife-Its full Of recipes telling how
to utilize cold roast turkey, but we
haven't the turkey.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
The Deatg, Penalty

4 littIe thing sometimes results in
death. Tins mtre scratch. insieniti-
cant cuts or puny boils have paid the
death penalty It is wise to have Buck
lens Arnica Sal7e ever handy. It's the
best salye on earth and will prevent
fatality, when Burns, Sores, Ulcers and
Piles threaten. Only 25c at Perry q
Doty.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
Shook.

Molly-You say you shook all over
when you proposed to her?
Cholly-Yes, [ did
AIolly-And how about the girl?
Cholly-Oh. she only shook her head.
london Modern Society.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14

Husband-Ar@ you aware, my dear,
that it takes three-fOurths Of my salary
to meet your dressmaker's bills?
Wife-GOOdness gracious. What dc
YOU do with the rest of your money!
San Francisco Wasp.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
Sulc7dt Prevented

The startling announcement that a
preventative of suicide had been discov-
cred will interest many, A run down
system, or dependency, invariably pre-
cede suicide and something has been
found that will prevent that condition
which makes suicide likely At the first
thought of self destruction take Electric
Bitters. It being a great tonic and ner.
vine will etrengthen the nerves and
build up the system. It's also great
Stomach. Liver and kidney regniat"r.
Only SOC. Satisfaction guaranteed by
Perry & DOty
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14

Don't work so hard that when there
is a funeral in the family your grief is
tempered by the thought that it meaEs
a day off.-Atchison Globe.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14

"dere!" called the impatient guest
The obseQuious waiter came to his side.
says Judge
Seems to me that soup I ordered is
long time getting to me-
Eyes, sir; but you must remember
sir, that you ordered turtle soup"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
He Read II.

Poet-Has the editor read the poem =:
left here yesterday?
Office Boy think so, sir He's away
i'll today.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
An Anomaly.

The average young woman doesn't
wish to see her thirtieth birthday. Yet
when she has seen it she would like 10
see it again.-Smart Set.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14

The trouble with most actors is that
they have never played a part in real
Gfe.-Life.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
Ca use For Pride.

WantOno-What's the matter, Blank
ley? You're all cut about and your
arm in sling, as though you had been
in fight, and yet you look beaming
and smiling over it all.
Blankley-The fact is I have all along
thought my boy Harold sort of muff,
and the other day l undertook to give
him some boxing lessons. This is the
result of the first lesson. Oh, Pm
proud of that how
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
WHEELER & WILSON,

WHEELER & WILSON,
the only sewing machine SO far IN
advance of all others that with it
the dealer can readily overcome all
competition. 1t is backed by Yep
utation of SO years unparalleled
success and thousands of the first
machines made are still giving
their owners faithful service.
We prefer man with experience
in some kind of canvasslng (but
this is not absolutely necessary
and who can procure a horse and
wagon. To such person we can
offer exceptional inducements.
We do not sell our machines to
catalogue houses or department
stores. We furnish them to our
authorized agents only and protect
them in their sale.
This is a splendid opportunity
for some energetic man to establish
himself in good permanent bust
ness.
When answering, please give full
information regarding yourself,
age, previous occupation, etc.
ADDRESS
Wheeler & Wilson Mfg. Go.
1924 Wabash Ave., Chicago, Ill.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
IN u !l4|
| i ||'1>IiA1IR|Y7 \

Mr.. NJ. G. Balkcom believes it has
been thoroughly proved that milk can
be preserved six years or longer with
out chemical treatment, says Il Mason
(N. " correspondent of the New York
Herald. One Of his friends tells how
it was proved and Mr.. Balkcom says
his friends word is not to be doubted
The friend is a farmer living in
his county. He says six years ago
he was in the habit Of keeping a jug
of buttermilk in a we'll to drink during
the day. One morning he let down the
jug and the string broke. The water
was too deep to think Of fishing out the
jug and it was allowed to remain where
it fell. Recently the we'll was cleaned
out and the jug was found. In order
to see what was the condition of the
milk the jug was uncorked and the
milk was tasted. 1t was found to be
just as good as it was the day it fell
into the we'll, so it is declared.
The man who vouches for the story
says it proves conclusively that if milk
can be kept at uniform tempera ture
below a certain degree it will last in
definitely.
The Unprogressive Creamery.
Those creameries which accept all
kinds of milk and cream regardless Of
quality are positive curse to the dairy
industry. is the strong way in which
Creamery Journal puts it. Progress is
out Of the question among the patrons
of such an institution, as they have no
incentive to better methods. The dairy
men of the country are not going to
adopt different tactics unless they can
see money ahead by doing so. There
is no chance for Improvement in quail
ity Of product at that creamery which
does not set a premium upon cleani-
ness and purity in the raw material.
Butter He Doesn't Want
Butter handled with wooden spades
or ladies has much more inviting ap-
pearance than when handled with the
butter makers hands, and recently,
when watching the packing process in
a large factory where the butter, max
er used his hands, L could not help
feeling that L did not .wanttany,Fof his
butter ON my bill of fare.-A. Slaughter.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1903-08-14
MA n
W A N 7 Z ID

We want man in this locality
to sell the world renowned
Woodville Republican., 1903-05-23
DAME FASHIONS DIcTATEs
sssas 90 Fs@isiss ss7.rsI Thss are
ssT Atfrsrftaa esare=s
AsfrufIes.

Tho lace collar will be almost rbiqsit-
ous on spring gowns and smart ones In
scrue and cream lace Of heavy patterns
make lace departments attractive.
Blouse sleeves In silks. muslias and
other such AEe fabrics are either sim
ply gauged at the top, tucked by hand,
or, more effective still, inserted with
silk veininR. sometimes in = contrast
Ing shade. This Is pretty fashion and
one that appeals 10 the clever worker.
II "a curious 20 note with what en-
tbusiasm we have returned 10 the re-
vivsi Of Irish crochet lace. the prefer
ence being for ecru tones rather than
dead white. For mixing with cloth.
coarse linen and indeed velvet and sat-
TINS there is nothing more effective than
this heavy make Of lace.
The keynote Of the best fashions. in
spite Of the intricacies Of beautiful
hand.work and glorious colors and
material. is simplicity costly simple
ity, II you like. but still simplicity.
Great discretion is shown in the matter
OF trimmings. The worst OF trim
ings IL that once they are used the un-
initiated are apt TO overdo them.
The chief difficulty in making a pele-
rine is the fitting on the shoulders and
the amateur must guard against max
ing the woman with en- already too
sloping shoulder look ridiculous. Our
heavy, three-quarter wraps were cut
TO accentuate the sloping shoulder and
the addition Of the collar or overcape
was distinct improvement.
Pretty veils are shown In such shades
~ blue, brown. black, and green, with
the dot In the same color, and the dot
may be either chenille. velvet or en-
broidered In silk threads. For those
whoprefer fhe less showy veilsthe are
handsome dotted ones in a variety of
styles. These come heavily dotted with
velvet or chenille, those having the
spot OF velvet being especially new.
French canvas Is being made up e1-
tensiyely In shirt waists, favorite pat
tern consisting Of stripes OF color sep
arated with bairline OF black. Mer-
cerized cheyiots, Oxford shirtinVs and
mercerized madras are among the de-
sirable fabrics for shirt waists. For
shirt waist suits linen etamine is fa-
sorlte, as II develops so smartly, while
foulard Is as popular as ever. for moth
ng Is cooler or more seryiceable for
hot weather wear.
uf equal Importance with the cape
collar or pelerine is the sleeve, which
every day becomes more intricate and
elaborate. In soft materials the big
sleeves look charming and admit of
fair amount of tucking and gauging at
Inc top, falling full from the elbow to
the wrist. But in cheap wiry fabric
there should be an adherence to the Sc
Ferer styles,.the only permissible trim
ming being shaped pieces Of stitched |
sioth, braid or gimp, the top being |
kept as plain and fat as possible.
Woodville Republican., 1903-05-23
FINE LEGgMINoUs CROP.
Tensessss Farmer Grows Ehthusi-
astis Absut the Possibilities
OF Hafry Neteh.


After seeing the hairy Teich grown
In small way for two OF three ysars.
have concluded that IL Is bound 90
become one Of the most important Of
our leguminOus erops. In this lsti-
tnde IL may be sown IN September or
October. and cut for hay IN May, thus
giving ample time 10 follow IL with
a corn crop. ! cannot say how much
hay IL will yield per acre, a. practical
y al with which have dealt has been
saved for seed; but do know that Il
will grow four to five feet high on good
land. and this means that Il viii yield
enough 20 merit attention.
Analyses Of the plant show that il
is very rich in protein, and anything
that will help 10 balance the usual ex-
cess Of the caTbonaceous elements In
our rations is undoubtedly needed by
most farmers. For hay il should be
cut when in full bloom. n sown alone
u viii be hard to handle. but when
sown with equal parts Of wheat or
oats, Il Is readily managed.
A. a cover crop it is especially val.
liable, furnishing pasture in both fall
and spring and adding large quantities
OF nitrogen 10 the soil Some soils, II
Is said, must be inoculated with the
bacteria which produce the nodules
on its roots before the yetch viii grow
well; but in my experience this has
never been necessary. IL grows well
on variety OF soils and under widely
different conditions. II seems to be
far less particular in this respect than
crimson clover. Where a few seeds
were dropped in a pasture, they came
up and grew readily; and the Arkansas
experiment STATEN recommends ii for
sowing on Bermuda sods. the two fur
nishing pasture nearly all the year.
Owing 70 the high price of the seed
at present, most farmers will probably
find u Improbable except for seed.
We sow II at the rate OF one-hah 10
one bushel per acre. II is cut when
the bulk OF the seed seems ripe. and
threshed in an ordinary grain thresh-
er. II will yield from six TO ten bush
els per acre; and the latter figure may
be exceeded on good lands II the seed
Is wanted pure, IL must be sown alone;
but this means some extra labor in
handling II will reseed itself when
allowed 10 ripen, one piece Of land
which was sown only once having pro.
duced two crops Of yetch and one OF
corn, and having a good stand of vetch
growing on IL at present.
In all the southern half of the coun,
try. winter cover crops are neces.
sity II the land is to be improved, and
for this purpose I know of nothing
better than hairy vetch. This, to-
gether with its value for hay and pas.
ture, is my reason for the opinion with
which ! began this paper.--E. L. Miller,
In Country Gentleman.
Woodville Republican., 1903-05-23

A pretty head rest that may be
made to fit any size or style OF chairs
Is made in the following way: First,
make the inside cushion to 1T the
back Of the chair and cover II with
either silk or satin In some pretty
shade. Then make an outside cover
ing Of plain or lowered muslin. con-
trasting with the inside covering.
This Is made very full. and is very
easily done by gathering at each end
n large square of the material used,
slipping u over the cushion and
drawing the ends up for the required
size. Straps Of satin and long lace
hounces on the ends give a very rich
effect. One or two dainty butterfly
bows are the finishing touches.---
American Queen.
Woodville Republican., 1903-05-23
CAUGHT ON TO THE JOKE.
rae Chinese Secretary - tesHtioh
was Vet mach PerBisHed By
American Wtttieism.
..Hsrs Be- - - naiuIaIilsd 2

"Hsye yea ever heen nsiurallzcd
eYes; but u didn't take
aNoE. that + shat Ee AmsrcAns call
Joke" explained the Ntshingionisn 70 zoe
brand nss secretary Of the Chinese isfAtiors
who has indicated bis desire 20 become con
verssnt with the customs Of this country.
IL spite Of the alleged humor, however, ne
failed 10 laugh, and bis informant e0nslo-
cred q full explanation proper, relates the
Washington Times.
You see," be continued, the word nAtu-
zhaed has been confused with yaccinate
The meaning Of the two words was tnen
defined, together with the ph-sse didn't
take"
when we say the vaccination didn't
take, We mean that the virus didn't have the
desired effect"
With this the Chinsmab expressed his "a.
miratlon for American wit, and broad
smile overspresd bic face.
The Conversation was continued IN gen
eral way until the wise resident OF Wash
inFton suddenly fancied IL would be humor-
Gus to relieve himself OF a joke at the ex-
penee Of the Celestial With 4 pstronizine
cir he put a query 10 the sttsche in jaw
breaking words, and then laughed at his
own brillancy.
The secretary stared blsndly at him for q
moment, utterly bewildered by the question.
His face was e1pressionless, but he gave
faint smile when the American explained he
had been joking.
"a joke-yes; but It didn't take" be re
piled, with a naive smile.
Woodville Republican., 1903-05-23

An Old Lady,s DIAcoxerr.

.Garnett, Ark, May lsth--For is years
Mrs, Mary Dunlop Of this place has suf-
Tered with Kidney trouble, which was so
bad at times that il made her life burden.
She tried much medicine and many treat.
ments, but got no better.
AT last, however, Mrs. Dunlop claims to
nave found q perfect remedy, and she is so
has received. that she is telling all her
friends and praising the medicine TO every
one she meets
The name Of this medicine Ia Dodd's Kid.
ney Pills, and ii has done wonderful work
for Mrs Dunlop.
Everybody is talking about Il, and some
people are claiming TO have been cured Of
Rheumatism by it.
A Mrs. Garrett who lives in Braxils, this
state, was at the point Of death with come
Cerehro. Spinal trouble, and was saved BY
Dodd's Kidney Pills.
II y certain that no other medicine ever
introduced here has done so much good in
such a short time.
Woodville Republican., 1903-05-23

When u hen selects her own nest.
she generally steals it in some dark,
out-of-the-way place. For this reason
nests should be made in separate
room, rather dark and out of sight OF
the flock. Such a place will largely
Increase the number of eggs laid. Com
mon small boxes, such as soap boxes,
make the best places for nests. They
should not be fastened down to any
thing, as they cannot then be kept
clean. Soft hay should then be ensed as
lining for the boxes. Nest eggs of
china or other equally cold material
should not be used in winter time, as
hens will not sit upon them. Prairie
Farmer.
Woodville Republican., 1903-05-23

MIX produced in the country and
consumed in the cities is closely guard.
ed from all eontaminating influences,
but an egg IL only fresh, is all right,
Il Is true that the COW is cleanly in her
choice Of food, but because the hen
Will consume filth when She can reach
Il, we should not say she will get Il
Hnyway, and SO throw ii indiscrlm-
'nately about II TO the word "fresh~
could be added the word "ppre.s and
the branding be honestly done, the
kind labeled fresh and pure would
meet with a ready sale az advanced
prices. Commercial Poultry.
Woodville Republican., 1903-05-23

When the fowls get to picking the
feathers of each Others necks. i take
a piece Of raw, fat salt pork a piece
with a good rind, so that IL win no,
come down in the dirt-and, driving a
nail through the rind, nail il TO some
part OF the building in easy reach Of
the hens and let them work at ii all
they please. When this Is gcre, IL
they still continue to pick OF the feath-
ers, give them another piece. There
is something lacking IN their food
when they pick off and eat each Others
feathers. and the raw. fat salt pork
supplies the deficiency and stops feath-
er eating. Midland Farmer.
Woodville Republican., 1903-05-23

Allow two butter crackers 10 each
person. Split them and spread with
butter, sprinkle on little salt, pep
per and mustard and then cover with
grated cheese. > Put them In but
tered pudding dish. cover with milk,
and II convenient, let them stand half
an hour, then bake about the same
time, or until brown.-- Detroit Free
Press.
Woodville Republican., 1903-05-23

CHICAGO, ILL. =.
When l received the
sample of Doan's
Kidney Pills / was
suffering terribly with
my back, was sick and
unfit to do anything.
The several remedies
/ had used, though
highly recommended,
did no good, but
rather irIitated the
trouble and made me
worse. Before | had
used up the sample l
was feeling so much
better that | got more
from the drug store.
| could not sleep at
night. Had to get up
six or eight times, and
the urine was so red,
would almost think
1t was part blood -
therewas athick sand,
like brick-dust sedi-
ment. ! cannot tell
one-half that | suf.
fered, nor how good
/ feel now that | am
cured by Doan's Kid
ney Pills I; but here I
am, slxty-six years
old, able to do my
own work, feeling
well as / did twenty
years ago, for which !
thank Dcan's Kidney
Pills ten thousand
times. - Mrs. E. 7.
GOULD, 9l4 w. Lake
Street. Doan's Pills
cure when others
fail.
Woodville Republican., 1903-05-23
What Everybody Says.

LOUISVILLE, Ky
For a year or more
! have been suffering
with severe pains in
the small Of my back
and kidneys ; had
tried a number Of
remedies but without
relief. | decided to
try Doan's Kidney
Pills, and purchased
two boxes, and am
glad TO state that
after taking the two
boxes of pills l was
relieved of all pains,
and have not been
troubled since. Prior
TO taking these pills
1t was impossible for
me to get a full
nights sleep, but / am
not experiencing any
difficulty in this re.
spect now. - Yours
truly, JOHN E. KRA-
MER, 2423 w. Main
Sire Foreman
American Tobacco
Coz