The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1903-02-19

The This and That" man on
the Elvins "Augur" clipped the
Western Publisher" to n FRAGILE
last week and didn't give any cred.
it for it. A jokes n joke, but
aren't we rubbing it in q little too
strong
oh the whistle of the wind
Through the bare and naked tree,
Were | also bare and naked
Would it whistle thus through mc'
Well sort o. guess ii would
But If you don't think it true,
Make try tomorrow morning
See il you don't whistle too.
This office received no valentines
last Saturday. Thus is our char
acter fully upheld. We were
speaking of comic valentines. Our
affairs du occur" will not he
published in this column. You
may find them under the heading,
Marriage Licenses" and theu
again you may not.
One day last week We were talk
ing to stranger about the con.
dition Of our streets and the great
depth of the mud. This stranger
was not acquainted with our local
characters it seems. When Ger
tain colored man, who walks on
his knees, crossed the street in
front of the post Office, he exclaim.
ed Look there, there goes man
now up to his knees in the mud. -
The recently adjourned County
Court met on January 10. The
number Of days it was in session
were l3. II adjourned on Febru.
18th and each Of the judges drew
pay for l3 days attendance. Rath.
er an odd court, don't you think.
In fact hoodoo, court. But if
each one of the judges will get the
left hind foot of n graveyard rab.
bit killed at midnight in the dark
OF the moon by a cross.eyed negro
with dog wood club, they may
escape the charm; otherwise they
should set about making their
wills.
The most disgusting man that
we know of at nresent is the fellow
who goes around to man who in
vested in Arnold, or Ryan or Bro.
laski and says with n grin, Il told
YOU So. Maybe he did tell You
so. Maybe he did say several
weeks or months ago that they
were going to break, and that he
had sense enough to stay out; but
if you want to know why he staid
out, it was simply because he
didn't have anything to put in.
The man who stad ont on account
of moral scruples! doesn't say any
thing.
The house in Portland. Me.
where LongfellOw was born is now
n tenement in the poorer part of
the city, mostly Inhabited by Irish.
A correspondent writes us that Il
few years ago teacher in Portland
was giving n lesson on the life of
the poet.
AT the end of the hour she began
to question her class.
Where was Longfellow born''
she asked.
A small boy waved his hand
vigorously. When the teacher
called on him his answer did not
seem to astonisn the rest of the
class, but was a cold shock to her.
In Patsy Magee's bed ROOM"
he said.-Youth's Companion.
A Large Tiger. Old Dicks :. |
is very wealthy but very illiterate
East India merchant, and member
of the Oriental Club of London.
One day Dicky took a pair of
compasses and set about examining
a large map OF India, the margin |
of which was illustrated with |
drawings of the wild and domestic
animals of the country. Suddenly |
Dick dropped the compass in
1T can't be! it amt |
in the horder of natur that it shoald |
be! impossible! ridiculousl"
Why Dicky, what's the matteri"
Wy, this Bengal tiger is ninety |
miles long!" Dicky had measured
the tiger by the scale of the map. |
Two Farms for Sale.