The Savannah morning news., 1903-09-13


gras, or Lobster a la Newburg, and yet
we find our billionaires rewarding
cooks with large sums of wealth, while
paying no attention whatsoever to the
literary fellow. 1t doesn't seem right
that a cook should receive $4,000 a
years for preparing indigestible dishes
to destroy a mans stomach with
suppressed Dickens who is long on
mental stimulant starving in T. garnet
two block away"
How would you work your plan
for the protection of the small liter
airy frY?" demanded Mr.. Brief.
There are several ways" said the
Idiot Either by governmental
ownership, or by private enterprise. 1t
wouldn't matter which really, so long
as the starving poet could get credit
at the grocers and the mute inglorious
Dickens could fasten a hook on a con-
venient Lutcher. The trouble with gov
eminent ownership OF the literary
mines of the day would be the influ-
ence of politics which is always bane-
full. For instance, no Democratic
novelist or Pop poet would be in it
with his Republican rivals under a G.
0. P. administration; and unless the
Brono Settler reports of the last year
are entirely wrong, it would be a cen
fury before a. Prohibition author could
get his head above water with that
system in vogue. These objections
countervail the advantages which
would result from a thorough govern
mental inspection of all literary pro-
auctions before publication, and in
view of the Postoffice scandals, 1 for
one, should doubt the advisablity of
! starting another Department at Wash
ington."
tee enfI Drsa
would merely open up another field for
bribery and corruption"
But by Private Enterprise, Literary
| Patronage would be beyond criticism"
| continued the Idiot. The Patrons
of Letters would be guided in his Sc
! lection of what we may call a literary
valet by consideration of politics, and
he would also serve as a check upon
| a too Voluminous production. Just
take Mr.. Carnegie, for instance, with
! his fifteen or twenty homes, each pro-
Vided with a full set of servants Sup
pose he were to add a literary valet
to each menage, as he could very well
afford to do. 1t would provide board
| and lodging to twenty or thirty strug-
Cling men and women whose literary
! product must now waste it's sweet
ness upon the desert pigeon hole. or
be swallowed up forever in the arid
! quicksands of the wastebasket. At Ski
| DO he could keep a Kailyard novelist
I of worth, whose cOcoanut is now rap
| ped every time he enters a publishers
! office because Dr. Watson and James
NJ. Barrie have a monopoly in that
| kind of literary ware In London.
where he makes international speeches,
he could maintain a chap to write
! Anglo-American Historical Novels of
| the future, who is now starving be-
cause he can't buck up against the
popularity of Hall Corelli and Marie
| Game"
Hall Caine and Marie Corelh YOU
mean, don't you?" asked Mr. White
| choker.
Maybe I do" said the Idiot. 'Does-
mt make any difference though. Hall
| Corelli's look alike to me- And so II
would go. Out in Pittsburg he could
| have a Poet of the Forge to cook IN
an ode to the United States Steel Cor
poration every morning for his break
fast in New York some at present
suppressed Richard Harding Davis
could keep him informed as to the
romance Of life in High Society: and
if he wanted TO laugh, he could have a
Private Humorist always at his side
70 make jokes for him. Carnegie would
be a literary patron. not to be sneezed
at, and in the end IL wouldn't eost
him a cent, because he'd get his money
back by requiring every library he
built in the world TO buy a copy OF
each OF the books his Wallets got up
for him"
You are a bralny idiot" said the
Bibllomanic. Il don't believe j. y
Morgan himself ever reasoned out a.
ingenious a money making scheme "
NO-but he'd be the man 70 take
the Job OF Patron General an right un-
der an incorporated United States Llt-
erary Corporation" said the idiot. "If
J, Piefpont Morgan would orFnnizs al
Authors Trust and buy ln all the in-
dependent operators. ~ would d. the
finest thing in the Worid ~" uaerlcan
Literature"