davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
A LITTLE NONSENSE.

"Pop, what is famine?" "a fam
inc, my son, is strenuous cure for in
digestion. "-Yonkers Statesman.
There Are Others.-Mrs. Wise (read-
ing)-"I see by this that the emperor
of Japan has ten men to carry his
umbrella" Mr.. Wise-"That's moth
ing. Iguess 20 men have carried mine"
Detroit Free Press.
Enough Said.-"She amt at home,
sor,' said the new maid, returning
from the floor above. "Are you sure
of that?" demanded Mr.. De 'Trop, sus-
piciously. Faith, OF am not, but she
seems to be.'-Philadelphia Press.
Husband-"Are you aware, my dear,
that it takes threefourths of my sal
airy to meet your dressmaher's bills?
Wife-"Goodness gracious! what do
you do with all the rest of your NOM
?"-London Tit-Bits.
A Terrible Test-'I should like to be
sure that he is truly devoted to me, -
said the sentimental girl. "You want
to put his affection to some crucial
test?" 81 do" Lets have him come
around some morning and see you in a
wrapper and curl papers. Washing
ton Star.
Paying the Penalty.-Mr. Workhardd
My dear, have lost my situation,
ard it just happens that 1 haven't a
dollar ahead. We must go to the poor
house for dinner" Mrs W.-"Surely
some of the grocers with whom we
have dealt for SO many years will trust
us?" Mr.. W (sadly)-"No, have
no credit anywhere I always paid
cash. IN. Y. Weekly
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

the centennial of Louisiana purchase.
Thus Jefferson and Napoleon would
represent the period of purchase.
When it comes to the time of the ex-
position, however, embarrassment
arises. The exposition will be opened
by Theodore Roosevelt, president of
the United States. The president of
France is M. Loubet. President Roose-
velt's picture cannot go on stamp;
that would be contrary to post Office
regulation of such long standing that
it now has the effect of law.
Instead of Roosevelt's picture, there
fore, it is proposed to use the bust of
Mckinley, which would be specially APP
propriate, because Mckinley was pres
ident when the law was enacted giving
the governments sanction to the expo
sition.
But if Roosevelt's portrait is barred
because the postal regulations say that
no living American shall be represent
ed on a United States postage stamp,
how about Loubet who, to be sure, is
not an American, but who would seem
TO be less entitled to the honor?
TO be sure, there is no regulation
against it, but the American people
who use the stamps will hardly take
kindly to the Loubet proposition.
There may be compromise by pic
turing some typical scene or industry,
just as the Buffalo stamp had a picture
Of a flying railroad train.
Up to the present time there is no
record of any nation except the
United States issuing postage stamp
hearing the etfigy of anybody but one
Of its own rulers.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
DRESS FIVE TIMES A DAY.
Result of Recent Order That Army
Officers Must Wear Uniforms
on Duty.

Officers of the army on duty in the
war department. wear uniforms the
same as if they were on duty at mill
tary posts. Occasionally an officer is
found who does not appear in uniform,
bu. it is only for day or two at most,
says the Washington Post. The prac-
ttce has resulted in making nearly
every room occupied by officers dress
ing room, where wardrobes are kept.
Most officers dislike very much to APP
pear on the street in uniform; it makes
them too conspicuous. Uniforms for
use in the department are kept in a
wardrobe, and the officers put them
on when they arrive in the morning,
take them off and don civilian dress to
go to luncheon, and upon their return
in the afternoon and departure for
home later go through the same proc
ess. They don't like it, but it is an
order For people doing business at
the department it is much better, for
stranger knows whether he is talking
with an officer or clerk, and if ia
miliar with the emblems can tell the
rank of the officer.
Several attempts have been made to
have an order issued in the navy de-
partment which would direct officers
on duty there to wear their uniforms,
but the officers have always made it
plain that such an order would not be
best.
ut is all very well" said an officer Of
the army, $50 far as discipline is con-
cernad, but uniforms are not needed in
the department or about headquarters
in a city. In garrisons where the uni
form is worn all the time, and where
all men are soldiers, it is of course, a
good practice and essential, but it is
great annoyance in other places where
only few men are in uniform out Of
several hundred thousand"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
Observation-Disclosures.
In the Adirondacks They HaHR,
come a Race of Mere C6TA
Followers.

"The tameness and impudence Of
the bears in Yellowstone park have
been commented on a great deal of
late by the newspapers said a ma
tive Adirondack dweller, according to
the New York Sun, but L doubt
if those bears can beat our Adiron-
dack bears much in that respect
There was time when the Adj
rondack bear was as wild and shy
and fierce as his Pennsylvania or Sui
livan county brethren are reported
over it, and degenerated into a thiev-
ing camp follower and hanger-on
around club houses and hotel and
camp grounds, a pensioner on the
garbage pail and the refuse sup
plies.
"At camps or club houses where
they have not been disturbed, bears
have in many instances forgotten
their shyness and fear of danger to
such degree that they come swag-
gering to the very kitchen doors,
and, if not chased from there, do not
hesitate to enter the camp itself and
nose around for choicer morsels than
the garbage pail contains. Bears be-
came such nuisance in this way at
Garry Benson's place, in the Peseco
lake region, last season, that he
pitched into one impudent old chap
one day with a horsewhip. The hear
went back to the woods, stopping
every few steps to rub himself, look
Ing back at Garry each time in evi.
dent surprise at the reception he had
received
Nobody at Benson's camp would
think of killing one of these shaggy
intruders any more than he would
think of killing woodchuck. Garry
Benson says that kicking them off
the premises and stoning them is
only temporarily relief. but tho
horsewhip once laid we'll over
bear, he finds, causes that bear to
give that place wide berth there
after.
"At the district school at Sanders
Mill, on the Mad river. big bear
came slouching out of the woods one
day, week or so ago. and advanced
directly on the ,schoolhouse. Some
of the children had eaten their lunch
con on the grass in front of the
building.
"rhe year stopped and licked up
the crumbs and remnants of the re-
past, and then stuck his head in at
the school house door The screams
of the pupils and the school ma am
frightened Bruin, and he hurried into
the woods.
"The next day the bear came to
the schoolhouse at about the same
hour, and ate the crumbs and crusts
he found on the grass. He didn't
venture to the schoolhouse door
again, though, and after he had
cleaned up the remnants of the
school lunch he went slowly back to
| the woods.
"His visits became of daily regular
ity. and, it being evident that he
came with no evil intent the teach
er, and now and then pupil. took
to tossing him an apple or other bit
of luncheon. and finally to feeding
him out of hand, until now, so it is
reported, that bear has almost quar-
tered himself in that school district,
and lunches regularly with the Sand
er's Mill school children and teacher"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
Tough Microbes.

That the microbes which cause dis
ease cannot be killed by firing them
out of a gun has been proved in Off
cial government experiments. Mi
crobes of malignant pustule. of alb
scesses and of the intestines were
smeared upon the face of the gun
wad, put next the powder, and fired
into sterile gelatin in agar-agar. In
each case the microbes developed,
each after its kind, in the medium re-
ceivinR the wad.-Science.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

either public or private. Hitherto this
business has been conducted in fire
trap-a ramshackle white brick build
ing that is in constant danger of going
up in smoke or collapsing under its
own weight. -Four years ago congress
after many trials appropriated AGO.
900 to construct new building which
should be somewhat more nearly ade-
ouate to the demands. That building
is now ready to receive the machinery
which is being installed as rapidly as
possible.
The new Office will have floor space
of IA acres, divided into seven stories
with very few partitions. The build
ing will be lighted with 1900 windows,
utilizing one-third Of the entire wall
space. The walls CT the rooms are
lined with white enameled bricks which
makes absolute cleanliness achievable.
The building is fire proof. The outer
walls are three feet thick. The floors
are constructed according to the en-
! gineers' estimates to bear load of
| 81. 100000 pounds-40,0O0 tons. 1t took
| 100000 brick to construct the outer
walls and the steel frame work weighs
100000 pounds. All the machinery
will be run by electricity. Three dy.
namos of 800 horse power each will run
800 presses, 1000 electric lights, II ele.
vators and all the other devices.
There is a system of ventilation
which is marvel. Fans, placed in a
loft, driven by electricity draw the air
through shafts from the floors, ex.
pelling it through the roof with such
velocity that the atmosphere of the
immense building will be changed once
every seven minutes, and each en-
ploye will have 5000 cubic feet of pure
air every hour.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
FEMININE FASHIONS.
Notes OF the Modes for the Peruzal
of Those Who Keep Pace with
the Latest in Dress.

Some of the prettiest hats are
simply trimmed. A picture hat for
q young face is of softly toned green
straw trimmed with branches of
white lilac. There is bandeau of
green silk gauze, but the lilacs form
the only trimmings, reports the New
York Post.
Handkerchiefs and stocks to match
are shown in the linen stores. Some
of these are in pale blues and pinks,
and where white predominates in the
stock the color is more prominent in
the handkerchief. This relieves them
from matching too closely.
Parasol handles are becoming fam
tastic. A white silk coaching para
sol has long white handle, with a
large green parrot head on the end.
The colors are most vivid, and the
birds eyes are bright yellow stones.
A black and white parasol has n
French poodle, correctly clipped,
standing politely on his hind legs,
with his front paws dropping. the en-
tire handle being of black wood.
shirt waist suits are the linen and
crash two-piece walking suits. One
of these in heavy white linen has
! seven-gored skirt with tucked out
side seams, and three-quarter coat
of simple cut, without revers or
collar. Rather elaborate blouses are
worn with the suits, transparent
lace-trimmed waist taking away from
their severity.
The new silk and linen batistes APP
pear in natural flax coiors, in white,
and also in tints of pink. blue. cream,
etc. Many of the patterns have flow
ers woven to resemble embroidery;
others show delicate lace stripes
with warp-printed designs in floral
colorings made of silk and linen
Tokyo is one of the newest and most
desirable of Che silk-and-linen mix
TIRES displayed this season.
Chiffon foulards sheer and light as
their name implies, but firm in tex
ture and measuring about yard in
width, are brought out in all the
fashionable color blendings, includ-
ing black and white. They will be
used for tucked, founoed and shrred
afternoon dresses and shirt waist
costumes made up unline0 over Prin-
cesse slips of taffeta or mercerized
Tokyo silk
The DIANA" the Lady Washing
ton" and the 'Quo Nadis" are the
names of new kid gloves for spring
wear. These come with two and
three clasps, with suede or glace fin
ish, and in colors of white, pearl
mouse gray, tan, brown. olive green
and black.
Laced walking boots for the season
before us have pliable kidskin tops.
| patent colt-sllin foxing and tips and
| Cuban heels. Button boots in Wei
kid have glace kid tips. handwelted
soles and military heels. New satin
evening shoes made on graceful
French lasts have short vamps and
Louis Nv heels. They are made in
black and delicate tints of blue, pink,
gray. etc. Firms In the city now take
orders for evening footwear of every
pattern and color matching gown,
delivering the slippers or sandals at
short notice.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

they declare would disfigure them sAd
would subject the owners to a certain
amount of humiliation. The most
strenuous objection. however. was to
the rule requiring the showing of Ii
censes. 1t happens that a large pro-
portion of the automobiles of Wash
ington are young women who have
hitherto enjoyed unhampered the free
dom of the asphalt. A good many Of
them have never thought of such
thing as applying for a license or in
deed of taking any other steps to re-
cognize the rights and susceptibi1ities
of timid pedestrians. The indignant
automobilists now declare that the
only object of the new regulation is to
afford fresh and cheeky policemen an
opportunity to stop any pretty girl
they see with an automobile and under
pretense of inspecting her license en-
gage her in agreeable conversation.
Suits are to be brought in the courts
to test the legality of the new regu.
lations and all sorts of denunciation
has been heaped on the unfortunate
commissioners; but public sentiment
is with them and would like to see even
more stringent regulations adopted.
The asphalt streets of Washington
afford peculiar temptation for the
speeding of machines, especially for
cutting fancy circles and executing
short turns to the Generalization of
man and beast.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

uce-Iaf ana away
the largest estab-
lishment of its
kind in the world
will be occupied
and in operation.
1t is not gener-
ally known that
the United States,
amidst its other
a C t i v tiles, con-
ducts a printing
business which is
more than twice
as extensive as any
other carried on
- IL, 1v.or1I
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

gained from the
statement that
there are 3,957 en-
ployes on the pay
roll and that these
operatives are at
work all the year
+ O II n d printing
and binding the
tremendous mass
Of publications is
sued by the United
S t a t e S govern
ment.
OF course when
congress is in SEES
-.~ H. -~~1. =,
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

OF PRESIDENT Lou
bet, of France, on
one of the ST.
Louis series. The
plan which COM
mend's itself to the
exposition boomers
is toplace upon the
four stamps of the
new issue portraits
of the four repre-
sentative persons
Of the two coun-
tries involved in
the purchase and in
the celebration of
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

lT1cJ commission
ers h a ve jus t
adopted new regu-
lations with re-
gard to speed and
control.
Il h e S e regula-
tions are no more
strict than those
of some other cit
les, but the speed
ers are sensitive
and say they are
II n n e C S a / j ] V
harsh. What they
object TO espe-
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

on a United States
government post
age stamp. If it
should it will be in
connection wi t h
the new issue of
stamps to C o m.
memorate the Lou.
isiana purchase.
1t has not yet
been definitely de-
cided that an expo
sition issue will be
authorized, b u I
there is lit t | {
J1-ll - -
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
stnve. from, Americ.

The immense quantities of oak
slaves used in the wine districts of
Spain all come from the United
States. and most of them from New
Orleans. One cooperage concern in
Andalusia buys 175,ooo,ooo slaves a
year.-Industrial Journal,
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

AOuOO oOOuO ~. 1oh
the post Office department authorized
such issues for Chicago and Buffalo;
and St. Louis will hardly allow her
self to be ignored.
The proposition is to place the head
of Napoleon on one of the stamps
probably that of the five-cent denom-
nation.
This is not the first time that the
likeness of foreign potentate has APP
peared on an American stamp. Isabel
Ia OF Spain was celebrated thus in the
Columbian series at the Chicago fair.
Not much attention was paid to the
fact, however, because the royal fea-
lures appeared on the four-dollar
stamp, which never went into general
circulation and which was hardly seen
except by collectors. Columbus was
also celebrated in the same way, but
he was on the tive-dollar stamp. These
are the only historical characters ex-
honored in such way.
If Napoleon goes on the five-cent
stamp, which really goes out into gen.
eral circulation, it will amount prac-
tically to a precedent. The other
stamps of the new issue will bear the
pictures of Jefferson, Mckinley and
some other, not yet determined. JEFF
ferson's will go on the two-cent stamps,
which is purely domestic affair, while
McKinley's will go on the ten-cent
stamp, probably.
Precedent Against Roosevelt.
An interesting question will arise
over the proposition to put the head
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

V1dIIJ ID t11c ItS u
lation that each machine shall carry a
number clearly visible on the back and
that every driver of a machine shall
show a license whenever asked by an
officer of the law.
The automobilists have been holding
meetings where their Indignation has
blszaJ out To number the machines
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
The Feminine view.

Man wants but little here below"
sighed the aimless man with the baggy
trousers.
What man wants." said the square,
jawed motherin-law of the party
aforesaid sis a woman to set him an
example in the art of getting move
on himself. Chicago Daily News.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

The flood at Johnstown Pa which
ably
South Fishing Pitsburg
Park working to
and rode cadng
Johnstown killed 2 people, did estimated
contributing II.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
Thickly Populated IsIand..

The most thickly populated island in
the world is Malta, which has 800 PEG.
pie to the square mile Barbados has
1854 people 10 the square mile.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
TALKED OF IN
WASHINGTON
Some Interesting Gossip from the
National Capital.
Strange Faces May Soon BE Seen on
Postage Stamps-Precedcnts That
Have Been Established - The
Government Printing once.

gton.-There is chance that
the picture of Napoleon will appear
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
Great Florists.

japanese florists have succeeded
II cultivating rose which looks red
in the sunlight and white In tho
shade, IN, \, Sun.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
Not Very ConsoItnr.

Giles-I heard this morning that
Knox said was a perfect idiot.
Mrs. Giles-Well, don't you care
what he says.
''Why not?'
Because he's given to exaggerating.
I'm sure no one believes you are per-
feet. Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
Automobile Regulations.

Owners of automobiles in Washing
ton are up in arms because the dis
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17
Rapid Work.

Some idea of the great size of the
printing business may be
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

Blobbs--Scribbler has had no les.
than nine plays rejected.
Slobbs-What is he doing now?
Writing essays on the decline OF the
drama, Cleveland Leader.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

Government Printing ONCE.
Before congress comes together
again the new government printingof-
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1903-06-17

Precedent Against Roosevelt.
An interesting question will arise
over the proposition to put the head
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-31

ancient forms we are near to seeing =
primeval reptile, the prototype itself.
But IL that is so, the ichthyosaurus must
have developed far away from those rep
lillian ancestors and back into his weird
fish form, through the maddest riot OF
adaptation processes and through the most
involved of evolutionary changes. We do
not know what these processes and steps
may have been.
The new monster appears suddenly In
the world like a meteor from the sky, and
the Oldest forms Of the Triassic period
scarcely show a few faint resemblances
to a lizard-llke archtype, and even those
faint resemblances are doubtful,
Here we have another OF the big breaks
in our chains of facts. Two hundred ich-
thyosaurians a year are dug out of one
place in little Swabia. and yet, in the whole
big earth, we cannot find a single tiny
bone belonging to any preceding link form
that might teach us where the old mon
ster's place Is 1. the family tree of life,
They were such cases as this that formed
the favorite citations of the old supporters
of the once popular theory that the epochs
of the worlds existence were sharply
bounded by SO many tremendous catastro-
Plies, in each of which the entire living
world was stamped out completely to make
room for a new creation. The tchthy-
osaurus would be n fine witness for this
theory IL 1t had not been wrecked long
ago. We know now that there are no
proofs of such catastrophes Certain ami
maj life has maintained itself in primeval
form into today; so 1t must have been
"catastrophe-proof" IL there were world
catastrophes.
OF other animals we possess the link
forms, such as that blended creature
archaeopteryx from ~Solenhofen, whose fos-
sill cast is in the Berlin Museum. and which
links the lizard directly with the bird.
Common sense tells us that there cannot
fail to be many breaks in records going
backward millions of years. We can see
plainly that much must have been lost
forever. The earth holds fast to many OF
its secrets and gives up the answer I'M
willingly or not at all.
The ichthyosaurus is such a secret. He
is our riddle, unanswered after forty years
of Darwinism. WILHELM BOELSCHE.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-31
An Economic Query

"Pete.'' said Meandering Mike. Ibid your
nights lodgin' in de barn cost you any
ting?'
Course not answered Flooding Pete.
Ibid you pay fur de clothes you've been
wearin,' or de handouts you've been
eatin'?'
moi a cent"
well, what 1 wants to know is who
started all dis talk about de consumer
payin' de ax?"-Washington Star.
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-31
~UnprOpitiOus Start

Papa" said the distinguished states
mans petted daughter, you have never
told me anything about the house in which
you were born"
mo. ms child" he replied, with a groan,
II have not. 1 could not bear to destroy
the fond illusion that your father is a great
man. / am not a great man. my dear. j
am an impOster. l was not born In a log
cabin. but in q three-story brick with stone
trimmingsi"
And he turned away In anguish.-Chicago
Tribune
Omaha daily bee., 1903-05-31
Authority for a Jest

but, ] can't see" persisted the delegate
to the convention of A~malgHnHted Humor-
lists, Philosophers. Allegorists and Fablists.
why custom persists in treating woman
as a joke"
beg pardon" mildly suggested the but
terinski. but wasn't the creation Of woman
the original side-splitting ~joke7'-Baltt-
more News.