The Montgomery advertiser., 1903-12-20
BY JoHH KENDRTCK BANGS.

My tried and faithful cook. Brigget Raf- eerty, who has been with me for ten long < days, having left my employ to become the wife. of her third cousin, Mir. Patrol- man MagRinnis. of the Bronx squad, came to town the other day and entered the intelligence ofice of Mrs. Bunkum, the famous domestic impresario., in search of a successor to the lady. Mrs. Bunkum keeps laundresses, cooks, kitch- en ladies and buffers on tap, and so many of these respective individuals have marched from her once to my home and back during the last ten years that there is a worn footpath between the two es- tablishments which Is rapidly degenerat- ing into a rut. As I took. my place on the waiting line of would-be employers, my attention was attracted to a fine looking old gentleman in the chair direct iy ahead of me, who seemed curiously out of place in that atmosphere, and, in so far as his costume went. strangely but picturesQuely out of date. More sim gular still, however, was that in what ever way he disposed of himself in his chair, could distictly see through him. He was not quite so transparent as & pane of French plate glass. but for trans Iucency- he was not to be excelled.
 Wonder who the deuce the old an- achronism is?' muttered to myself as endeavored to recall where and when I had seen his undoubtedly familiar fea- lures before. The scar upon his nose cer- tainly should have identified him at once, but the only name that occurred to ma in < tn association of this idea wass a person. Ftsality was that of Captain Kidd. and this chap surely was not he, for he wore no fierce mustaehios. nor were there in the vicinity of his neck any of the chain marks which, since a certain interesting climax in his career, must have been dis tinguishing features in the physical make up of the former pirate Moreover, his language, under the irlxsome restraints of the long delay in getting through with the business in hand, was not that of tho billowy main. but more suggestive of a certain familiarity with the ways of po- lite society. Finally my speculations were set at rest by his divulgence to Mrs Bunkum of his identity.
 'Well." said that lady. glancing sharp. ly at him. "What is 1t you want this morning, sir, cook, kitchenmaid, butler, or what?'
 Fl don't want any of them, madame" |" replied the old fellow with lordly bow. q have come to seek employment, not to glve 1t. have heard of the great oppor- tunitles on every hand in America''--
 '.Great heavensl'' cried Mrs. Bunkum. ''what can you do? Butt?''
 Beg pardon" he returned. perplexed.
 "Can you butt-that Is, are you a butler, or do you wish job as a coachman, or a night watchman, or what?' she went on ImpatIently.
 q do not understand" said the old gen. tleman T want profitable employment. that is all."
 But what are you?-that's the point, I can see that you wouldn't be a good lady's maid. and doubt if you would care to become cook in a suburban fam -rw-. A-N lars a month" said Mrs. Bunkum, sar- castically and frowning. But whether you want a position as a gardner, a valet or a groom-how do I know?"
 Madame" said the old gentleman, drawing himself up proudly. T am a baron"
 Then you don't want to come to an irs- telligence office for job, Mir. Baron." said the lady, curtly. '"The place for you to go to is a matrimonial bureau. There's one up the street. four doors from the cor ner. that Is much patronized by heiresses seeking barons, dukes and earls for their menage, but We can't go into that business. There isn't enough money in it. You get & baron a place once and it's for life. He never comes back, so that per- manent trade in that line is next to im- possible to build up: whereas. on the oth- CT hand. it's lazy cook and an utterly hopeless mistress that doesn't pass through this oftice half 6 dozen times a year. Good morning. Next!''
 Heroic Patience.
 Now I was next, but I yielded up my place. My household could have gone without cook for forty years before I would have abandoned this opportunity to have chat with this strange nobleman whom now recognized as no less a per- son than Hieronymus Carl Frederick. Baron Munchausen of Bodenwerder. come back to earth again in search of a share of that marvellous, prosperity of which we see such evidences every time one pro- moter gets out his hatchet and goes after the scalp of his late partner, the other promoter.
 ''No cooks for me this day with Baron Munchausen in sight," muttered, as I