The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1903-05-12
MODERN
FABLES.
Author of the Girl Proposition.

BY GEORGE ABE.


THE MODERN FABLE OF THE MIS-
DIRECTED SYMPATHY AND THE
COMEBACK OF THE PROUD
STEAM-FITTER.
Downright. 1903. by Robert Howard
RusselI.)
One dav . IowIy Steam-Fitter, who
received only - cents an Hour for filling
his pm. VAS sent to do i Job OF Re
nairfra in the Palatial Residence Of a
Syndicate Mogul.
While ne was hammering merrily at
his Task. trying 10 fill out an 6-hour
Dav the Lady Of the Hous came and
watched him. Her Heart was touched
with great Pity for any Man VINO sun
had his Appendix and whose picture
had never appeared in the Sunday pa
DarS 80 she had the Butler bring some
Charlotte Russo for the humble Ioller.
After nfch he borrowed one OF her gold
It'd cigarettes and gave her a few Min
ut.s Of his Time, in spite of the Fact
that she did not belong to the Union.
This * Il Swell Joint you've got
her. Lady. said the Steam-F1tter.
Tn. only thing that makes me Sore IS
10 mink that all of this Hot Dog you're
thrgwiu on comes out of the pockets OF
poor. hard-workin' Guys, such as me-
You wrong us" said the Great Lady,
II, Tom. or Gentle Sadness. My
Husband never fim-iams the poor Ia
bor-r. All that he has he made by
shifting the cut on the small stock
----I ;r+.T.C-aI IN tho
working Classes wish to establish a
FREE Lecture Course. so that the Poor
may learn all about AnthrOpOlogy. Very
often I go and sing Solos at Mission
Entertainments, but in spite of this my
poor Husband is pictured as a hungry
Octopus who has taken i d~eath-grip
on the Consumer"
Ia hate TO be a Corporation D1rec-
tor. said the Steam-Fitter- The Mug
that controls q Million Bucks amt got
Il Friend on Earth except the People
who happen TO be with him at the time.
All the congressman throw Bricks at
him and the Editorial Writers toast
him to a Crisp. The Rainbow Week
lies put him in Cartoons as having four
Chins and a Waist measurement Of %.
whereas all the MOney-Getters | ever
StfEN'H Z - tLAAAA O. $3.50
ed rs if they had to 1--we on Tea and
Toast. But the WOrkingman. He's
the Boy that gets all the EiOlets. When
they put me into u Cartoon they make
me out to be q handsome Charley with
my Sleeves rolled UP and a set of Mus
cIes that would make Jeffries ashamed
OF himself. [ always wear a dinky-
Paper cap and a full growth of Presby-
terrain Whiskers. Every time l see a
Picture of the American WOrkingman
in three CoIors, I'm glad that I'm not
i IOw-down Capitalist. l may not han
die as much Coin as some OF the Shell
Workers tnat hang out IN Wall Street
but any time that I feel discouraged al
I have to DO is dig up my 80 Cents and
20 To 4 Variety Show and then I find
out n / am the only trUe-hedrted and
honest American, except the gallant
Volunteer. The very best Friend that
Union labor has in this Country Is the
VawdyviIle Artist who works IS Min
uryS a Day for $115 u Week
still. with your restricted Income
You .luuut seek the ~elevating Influences
of our KIND of Society" said the Lady
of ,hr House. That must grind You !
good deal. especially if you have Chill
dren growing up. I can imagine tina
it would pee hard lines to know tina
your Offspring have no Social Career:
awaiting them"
NJ ami my Wife lay awake Night:
and cry about it" said the Steam-Fft
ter. w thought for Il while we Nigh
save up and buy Jimmy an Auto. bu
whom We looked in the Catalogue W,
found that the Price was $4,000. So w,
decided If he wanted To practice HOmi
eide il would he cheaper to get him OF
the Police Force. Being too poor t
send him to 4 University. We let hin
take Lessons at Il Boxing Academy an,
now. when any one starts Rough House
ne : almost rs handy as Il regular Stu
dent He can smoke Egyptian Cigar
cites and blow the Smoke through hi
Nose he gives me the Laugh Whe
l call him down. and So l feel that W
nave accomplished by Home Trainin
what might have been expected from
r7L!ag. Course. As for Vivian. OF
,ri-ht-eyed little Daughter. she is Il
zlpplrs, H~igh-F1yer that speeds II
E-uut-vard- When il comes 20 FrenC
Heels ana the long Straight Front an
Is. kinds of Blouse hanging in front
a... s.e can make the average SOciet
E.L .cyk ike a bum Imitation She h
0-- ,s these wig-wag Walks-the kin
that makes People jump off of the Sid,
wax of course. she is only IL
Daughter Of an obscure Steam-Fitt,
lU- .a- mo give YOU q Pointer. Yc
can, tell by Iookin' at one Of the:
Fairies ..NlIiyS what kind OF Cloth,
her FJ-h~r wears. When It comes
LuE~- T can't See that the Heiress II;
any Bulge M tn simple Working Gil
As t"r Eu,,.-s into the Social Swi: