Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1903-02-21

/ Nh llNll us ldlllt us NDANltlNt
Daniel doesn't care for them,
And they don't ask pass Of Dan
iels.
Sir Michael Herbert the British am-
| bassador was October. And the Grid
ir0ners had this TO say about King Ed
wards representative at Washington
Here's to you. good Sir Michael,
A Brton, sound and true,
Our greetings TO King Edward,
And welcome warm 70 YOU
The club led up easily to Nh Morgan.
II had a lot Of fun with Senator Hanna,
who was spoken Of as having lost the
key to the back door OF the White
House with Senator German, who is
also a great fayorite of the club and
who has never missed an annual dim
ner; with Sir Michael Herbert with
| Admiral Lord Charles Ber9sford ana a
great many othore.
Shafts began to fly at the heads of
| the captains Of industry when the
! president Of the club was inaugurated.
| Ferdinand and Isabella appeared on
the throne Of Spain, and Columbus was
| brought IN b give an account of his
wunderngs ana discoveries He was
asked by the queen what he had done
with the money raised BY hooking
her diamonds He replied In fear and
trembling, that he had dropped IL all
in United States steal" lie announced
that he had discovered a trust during
his Wanderlngs. which was a bunch Of
money entirely surrounded by water
and an arbitration, which was "a con-
ference for keeping coal at $50 a ton"
What was regarded as the hit of the
evening, however, occurred about the
middle Of th dinnr, when a bucket shop
was opened at the lower end Of the
room, and a member Of the club, acting
as a brokers' clerk, at once began bus
inegs. The Office had q ticker and a
telephone The bucket shop was sup
posed to be In New York, and Il had the
sign "P. j. Morgan, Busters and Boost
ers."
Members Of the club sedately walked
IN and took their seats. They were the
customers. One member appard as Mrs.
Hetty Green and another as the type
writer girl of the office. There were
talks between the manager, clerk and
senators In Washington. Senator Ell
kins seemed willing to give information
as to why sugar was going UP, He eX-
planned that Senator Quay had gone OFF
and bought without orders,
Suddenly the customers noticed stocks
wor rapidly going down. The typewrlt-
en- girl looked into the inner office and
announced that 'the old man was
asleep lie was awakened and gave
orders for stocks to be put up. A rou-
lette wheel which had been rugged
against a side OF the room was whirled
by one Of the clerks and stocks jumped
20 points,
After stocks had gone up TO a prodig-
i0us height one Of the customers adj
vanced TO the front and entertained the
audience with a song TO the air Of "Mr.
Dooley." This is the song
There IS a man who's known to all. a
man of great renown
A man whose name is on the lips of ey-
eryone in town.
You read about him every day, his
name you've heard, no doubt;
And II he even sneezes they win get an
extra out
For Mr. Morgan. for Mr.. Morgan,
The greatest man the country ever
knew.
quite diplomatic and democratic
Is Morgan-organ-o rgan-o-o--o
He made a million dollars in every kind
of'trust.
He took his friends along with him, the
others had TO bust.
He bought his railroads I'm bunch, he
did, SO help nue. Bob.
Now Mr.. Morgan turned a trick, twas
hardly on the square
He coruered Rooseyelt's fav0rite game,
including "coons' and bear.
THE president may bust my trust, III
have TO bow 10 fate"
But when Il comes TO hunting he will
have to arbitrate.
When Congress makes its little law, no
trusts will be alive,
For coal'll be twenty cents q ton. steel
rails be twenty-five,
with the water squeezed from all the
stocks, with forests full OF bear,
The millennium will be at hand, and all
the people swear
by Mr. Morgan, etc.
The conversation Of the crowd In Mr..
Morgan's Office was interesting.
Say" said one, 81 got a bully tip
last night
"Who gave II TO your"
"Chauncey Depew,"
Don't play H." warned another men,
Der, for II u was worth anything
Chauncey wouldn't have given Il away.
Then this dialogue occurred;
1.-THE thing that worries the old man
Is what we had better do about a pres
ident Of the board OF aldermen"
mo, president Of the United States
ooh, / thought Il was something i'm
portant"
"Well, 1t is important, II the old man
Is anxious about IT,
The scene ended with the appearance
OF the club member impersolating het-
IS Green, who was IN a state Of mind
over a cent which she had lost on the
day before.
The club also played a travesty on
Or. Wiley and his boraX experiment by
presenting a few original boraX tests.
The subjects were several eminent men,
including Representative Cannon, Sem
ator DcpeW, Representative Newlands
George II. Daniels, Senator Deliver.
Snator Fairbanks Senator Beveridge
and Representative Littleneld.
These guests were formed into a class
IN front Of the other diners and then
the result ~ the boraX treatment was
made known BY means Of several re-
markahle instruments handled by the
club members. Behind each member Of
the class was displayed an amusing
cartoon. which vividly portrayed the ef.
feet Of borax on the human wind.
During the episode a below was dis
covered IN the head OF Sehator-elect W.
J. stone Of Missouri An explanation
was at once demanded.
That" said the manipulation Of the
instrument, rs where the bump Of i6
TO used to be-
As the alleged thoughts OF each Of