The Minneapolis journal., 1903-11-04
MR. CODY'S
CRITICISM
Letter Number Six Is From a
Salt Dealer-One From a So
licitOr Tomorrow.
Sherwin Cody's Criticisms of Business
Letters. No. 6.

SherW1n Cody's Criticisms of Business
Letters. No. 6.
The child, in breathless haste, runs
all his words together in one long
drawn sentence. We do not expect
business men to do that, but in the
business they do just that, and are
often as bad sinners as any schoolboy.
American business men are noted for
the long hours they put in, their hurry
and their waste Of time. An English
travelling man once said to the writer:
II am astonished, to find business men
in America getting down to their Of
fees at or 9 O'Clock, in the morning,
instead of 10 or II, as ours do; and
l never see one on the street but he
seems to be rushing as if for dear life.
But find that same man has no OBJ
lection to my going into his office and
gosslp1ng with him for two hours at
a time. American; business men seem
always visiting and gossiping in their
offices. The Englishman when in his
office attends strictly to business" In
their letters, American business men
are full of haste yet lacking in speed.
Letter from a Salt Dealer.
Gentlemen: We have yours Of the
oath, and note what you say about the
difference in price and hardly under
stand your complaint as we charged
shipment. and our price to-day is
$1.02 per barrel for Medium Grain
Salt, as per card sent you last week.
Have you a card quoting a lower
basis? If SO, kindly send it to us, that
we may investigate.
| We appreciate the business you have
! rendered us for many years and want
to do all we can to have our relations
pleasant We do not make the mar
ket here, but receive instructions when
change takes place and post our Gus
toners promptly.
Mr.. Cody's Criticism.
At least three, distinct ideas are
crowded into the first paragraph, tho
1t is printed as one sentence. A period
should follow price,, and new SEN
tences begin with 1--WE hardly under
stand" Another period should follow
shipment "and' should be omitted,
and the next sentence should begin
with '.Our price,
Medium Grain being the name of
the particular kind of salt spoken of,
may be capitalized, but certainly salt
following should not be capitalized.
When there is no specific reason for
capital Letter we should not use it,
Per" is Latin word and is cor
rectly used in per cent per capita. .
etc. but not with English words. "By''
usually serves the purpose as we'll. In
bills per gal" and the like are not OBJ
| jectionable, and seem easier -
To have our relations pleasant is
not good style-it sounds plebian.
! Post" for Inform is considered an
only a figure of speech.
1 -Sherwin Cody.
/ Good English involves a multitude
of details, no one of which is especially
important, though all together mark
i the difference often between success
land failure NV ic,1 al -,
a slip, the master and expert as we'll
as the ordinary person. In his book
on good English, Mr. G. Washington
4 Moon took occasion to point out half
La dozen fragrant errors in the nine
lteenth edition of Murray's grammar
Murray himself would have admitted
< at once that&they violated plainly the
rules he himself had laid down and
Illustrated. None Of us is immaculate
but some of us write as If we knew
! what we were doing, while most of us
i plainly do not know, but fire away in
\ the dark, counting ourselves lucky il
1 we. hit it at all.
i Just that difference between writ.
I ing as If you were a master and writing
4 as II you knew you were not, marks
4 the difference between success an6
failure. Even the most ordinary per.
son detects your own confession OF
ignorance, and so loses faith in you
Il rdlIIl, VI CISull, ~ lHe IOunQdt1OnF o.
business.
The following letter have merely
rewritten, but with a good reason fol
every change. The thoughtfulf studen
is left to find out that reason for him.
self. i .s: st
The Same Letter Carefully Revised.
4 Gentlemen:
We have yours of the 24th and note
what you say about difference in price
We hardly understand your complaint
as we charged you the correct price a
the time of shipment. Our price to
day is $1.02 a barrel for Medium Grail
salt, as you will see by card sent yol
last week. Have you a card quotin,
a lower rate?s II SO, kindly sendit t
us that we may Investigate.
H We appreciate the business you hav
I. given us for many years, and wish t
do all we can to continue the pleasan
relations We do not make the mar
ket here, but receive Instructions whe
a change takes place, and inform otl
II @Ecustofners promptly.
Yours truly,
"a. Sherwin Cody.