Newport weekly independent., 1903-10-16
He eBelieved in Signs
vXT1AT rot" said Mir Thompkins, w standing still and gazing at the

 front door of house he was passing.
 Come, dear,' said Mrs. Thompkins nervously. We shall be late"
 Why don't people try to be sensible if not coherent?" went on Mr. Thomp- kins. gazing steadfastly at the door.
 What is the matter?" asked Mrs Thompkins.
 said MT. Thompkins, pointing majes- tically.
 Mrs. Thompkins looked. There was a small brass plate above the electrical button at one side of the door. The plate said:
 Ring the bell"
 Well" said Mrs. Thompkins "Well?"
 Well" repeated her liege. "Merciful heavens, woman, are you, too, utterly devoid of brains?"
 Moo, I think not" replied Mrs Thompkins, doubtfully. Still, I don't see what you are objecting to-
 Remain here," said MT. Thompkins Tt is no use to waste explanations upon you. I will show you. if you will but listen to what I object And I com mence forthwith with crusade I have long contemplated"
 MT Thompkins moved majestically uI the steps of the house and proceeded tc ring the bell again and again. A house maid came to the door and asked what he wanted. MT. Thompkins paid no at tention to her and continued to ring the bell. The housemaid disappeared and returned with her mistress.
 What do you want?" demanded the - woman.
 Nothing" said Mir Thompkins, and he again jingled the bell.
 Why are you standing there ringing my bell?" asked the woman, looking down the street to see if there were any policemen near by who could take the lunatic in charge.
 "I am ringing the bell" said MT Thompkins, because the little brass sign above the bell commands me to. was passing the house and saw the words here, Ring the bell' Although it is causing me good deal of inconvenience obey" And MT. Thompkins continued to push the button.
 But" said the woman in tone of voice which plainly showed she was fol- lowing the injunction to always humor crazy people, If you do not wish to see anyone in my household why do you stand there and ring the bell?"
 And why, if do not wish to see any one in your household, said MT. Thomp- kins, should brass sign be displayed commanding me to ring the bell?"
 You are not commanded to ring my bell"
 ''The brass sign, madam, says: Ring the bell The phrase is apparently ad- dressed to all who pass this way. If you wish to command only those who have business at this house to ring the bell then change the phraseology of the sign and do not leave it so worded that 1t appeals as a command to all who pass this way
 T wish my husband were home, ' snapped the woman. "He would kick you off those steps,"
 l Hat uepenQs, returned MT. 1nOmp- kins, politely. Anyhow, I have ex- plained this matter to you, and if you do not institute reform the fault is not mine Good day"
 Idiot" hissed the woman.
 MT. and Mrs. Thompkins resumed their walk downtown. Mrs. Thompkins had gloomy forebodings She saw that her liege had started out to institute re- form and he would not rest until he encountered disaster.
 They entered an art store, where Mrs. Thompkins wished to look at some pie ture frames. The next she heard from Mi Thompkins he was standing in front of the cashiers desk.